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 IMAGINE a little wnw 
 faced boy sitting huddled 
 up in the feathers of his 
 man bed, listening, wide-eyed, in the dark, 
 her and mother quarreling and you have 
 one of the most frequent happenings in 
 L Billow's child-life. To be wakened by his 
 weeping or his father's angry voice per- 
 ear his sister Isadore, and to steal out into 
 srith her where they listened, hand-in-hand, 
 ding nothing of what they heard except 
 
 on the next day mamma would stay in bed 
 eadache, and papa would go off early and 
 day, and that there would be no fun, onlj 
 reary hours. 
 
 japaVas a jolly, good sort of a papa enough 
 id the temper that would bite one's head ( 
 the end of a long rollicking laugh, and senc 
 to the corner without explaining why. 
 was a very accomplished lady, and he lovec 
 lv but, unfortunately, she lived at a tim< 
 
 was fashionable for ladies to have verj 
 feelings, and a great deal of what was callec 
 y The druggists of those years did a grea 
 in smelling-salts, for it was considered "ele 
 i faint upon every possible occasion. Ladie 
 period wept when they were glad as well a 
 ey were sorry, and never put their handker 
 way because 'they had such constant use fo 
 hev always had their portraits painted wit 
 chief in hand, and they went to walk with a 
 chief neatly held between thumb and fore- 
 dth four lace corners drooping daintily, all 
 3 catch a flood of tears. Poor Hans' mothei 
 L the fashion with the result that both Hans 
 
 father suffered much from what has beer 
 'the tyranny of tears." In the very earliest 
 5 ' letters, written when he was only ten years 
 
 inquired anxiously after his mother's head 
 id feelings, and they haunted him constantlj 
 > U "h the wt of his life, constant irritants, 
 not very happy German family lived in thj 
 Dresden, where Hans was born in 1830. 
 was a chamberlain to the Prince of Anhalt) 
 eans that he looked after the private affairs 
 
 prince. However, the prince had only a very 
 principality, so that his affairs did not keep 
 fon Billow very busy, and he used his spare 
 n writing books. They lived in apartments, 
 ans' early associations were for the most part 
 ry cultured and refined nature. 
 " on, when he was sent away to prepare to b 
 
 "' 'he lived with some relatives, was very 
 'l felt much neglected. He composed songs, 
 f f his cousins would listen to them or try 
 
 <* a for him ; and, too, he missed the fussy 
 ' had been accustomed to receive from his 
 
 3 was always a very delicate boy. He had 
 in him naturally, but the jolly side of 
 a rot a chance to grow, because he was 
 c up on coddling and "don'ts." He could not 
 
 against all kinds of nagging and discouragement. 
 This sort of thing does not sweeten one's temj 
 and you will find that after he grew up he go1 
 great reputation for being a crank and dreadfv 
 conceited. Both of these he probably was, and m 
 certainly would not have been if he had had 
 mother like Madame Gounod, and a beautiful ch 
 life like Charles Gounod's. But however disag 
 able and sour he was as a man, there certainly 
 nothing of this in him as a boy. 
 
 Some years ago, a book was published, contair 
 the letters which Hans had written to his relat 
 and friends before he was twenty-five years 
 When people who knew him only after he had gr 
 up, heard that his letters were to be published, 1 
 said : "Oh, what a bookful of malice and sarcasm 
 will be! " But when they read the book they fc 
 nothing of the sort; for these boy-letters of I 
 Von Billow are full of sweetness, good faith 
 determined earnestness. The letters tell the stor 
 a boy who had as hard a time in working his way 
 a musical career as any poor boy ever had; an 
 you read these letters you will see what a tender, 
 sitive nature it was that that hard crust grew 
 which was the outward Hans Von Billow as a mai 
 He became the greatest teacher of the century, 
 composed much, made many tours as a con 
 pianist, made many valuable editions of the 
 masters, was a wonderful orchestral conductor, 
 he was greatest of all as a teacher. He taughl 
 only those who came to him for lessons, but 
 every man that ever played in his orchestras, 
 taught the public through the newspapers, for \ 
 he wrote much; and he taught every audienc 
 fore which he played. He came to America as a 
 cert-pianist, but the shrewd Yankee soon fount 
 his strongest characteristic and dubbed him 
 schoolmaster." He may even be said to have t; 
 the generations which came after him, for hi 
 fluence is still felt in music, and you will not 
 very much farther in music without coming 
 this influence yourself. Helena, M. Maguire. 
 
 Jfc 4t
 
 LECTURE ON VON 
 
 [arie von Buelow, the widow of the famous conductor 
 and pianist, gave an entertaining talk on her distinguished 
 husband at Bechstein Hall on Sunday evening. It was a 
 fascinating biographical sketch, enlightened and illumined 
 by many a characteristic anecdote. Of great interest, too, 
 were various extracts which she read from von Buelow's 
 letters. The audience consisted largely of persons who 
 often had come under the spell of von Buelow's wonder- 
 ful personality, both as conductor and as pianist. Al- 
 though much of the material contained in the lecture 
 was already familiar to them, the Nietzsche reminiscences 
 and some of the anecdotes were quite new. Mme. von 
 Buelow before her marriage was an actress of note on the 
 celebrated Meiningen stage, and the ease, assurance and 
 
 , proved that she still 
 'ws how to establish and hold contact with the public 
 
 HANS VON BUELOW, 
 Who died February 24, 1894. His 
 widow, Marie von Bulow, recent- 
 ly delivered a lecture in Berlin 
 on her late distinguished husband. 
 
 AN INTERESTING 
 PHOTOGRAPH 
 
 THE photograph on this page 
 has peculiar interest since the 
 one of the group in the center 
 is Karl Klindworth, the re- 
 nowned pianist, teacher, and 
 editor, who died about the 
 end of last July, the exact 
 date not being available, due 
 to uncertainties of news trans- 
 mission at the present time. 
 The original from which the 
 reproduction is taken is in the 
 collection of Mr. Adolph M. 
 Foerster, of Pittsburgh, to 
 whom it was given by Klind- 
 worth in 1888. With him are 
 two other pupils of Liszt, 
 Tausig, at the left, Von Billow, 
 at the right. As Tausig died 
 in 1871 the photograph carries 
 the reader back nearly fifty 
 years. Klindworth's most 
 noteworthy contributions to 
 piano music are his edition of 
 Chopin's works and the piano 
 score of Wagner's Ring music 
 dramas.
 
 /
 
 CHOPIN'S PRELUDES, OP. 28. ANALYZED 
 
 VON BULOW 
 
 TRANSLATED BY FREDERICK S. LAW 
 
 PORTRAIT OF VON BULOW 
 
 it is to this that we must go for the story c 
 which he kept from the world at large; he \ 
 who wear their hearts on their sleeves. Tl 
 passed the scrutiny of some of his nearest a; 
 friends, who were, moreover, thoroughly 
 his methods of composing; such, for instani 
 two pupils of his own, Wilhelm von Leni 
 de Kalergis. All declared that they reflect 
 feelings and intentions with the utmost ace 
 No. i. C major. Reunion. 
 The whole prelude expresses the joy o 
 after a quarrel in the stretto, indeed, tl 
 travagance, only to regain tranquillity o 
 the end. This is indicated by the final lej 
 of C. 
 
 No. 2. A rhinor. Presentiment of Death 
 This is as uncertain in character as in kf 
 E minor, goes into G major; then to B mir 
 itself slowly in A minor. The mood is const 
 yet it always comes back to one and the 
 the melancholy tolling of a funeral knell, 
 accompaniment in the left hand is difficult 
 In the right hand one bears the inexorable 
 though toward the end it falters and lose 
 in uncertain tones, as if saying, "He com 
 liverer! It was a delusion." This is what 
 end seems to say. 
 
 No. 3. G major. Thou art so like a flo- 
 An angel flits through the open windo\ 
 
 
 puv smvj 
 
 <;AizEui.ia{3 ui sairaiodiuajuoo .naqj ajaA\ OUM spa} 
 pu"5 sjo;dmos 'saajuiBd aqj jo sauiBU aq; A\OUJ{ sn jo 
 A\oq jnq iuaAoqiaag puB ;XBZOJ\[ 
 sautBU aq} SAXOU^ auoA~jaA3 -anjBA aAiiB}uasa.ida.i 
 -daoxa UB paiinbaB sBq DTsnut pouad ujrapoui aqi ui iuq; 
 pauadd^q uaAa s^q ij -ua^oiqun ajB sp-ej jo sauas aqj 
 ami; juasajd aqj o\ saS^e juB^sip jsoui aqi 
 s;t q;i 
 
 ap 
 
 ajoui si oisniu j^eq} SuiX-es ui x 
 
 -Bja uBi;suq3 aqj aiopq 
 aqj oj jt amquijB 'jai^oj -j\[ 35ji| 'saSpnf poof) 
 
 aq) q;iA\ su3ij^ aqj spauuoo qoiqAv 
 p jjuBq jpj aq; uo 'qojjaj, jo aDBjBd aqj ye 
 'j\[ Xq pajaAoosip 'jsidjBq B Sutiuasajdaj 
 
 B si ssassod aAv ;uaumDop juapuB ;soui 
 ano puo^aq saqopjjs A^iojsiq p3Disnui jo ppg a 
 
 sainf A.a 
 
 Suisudiajua pu-B aAissaiSS-B uy (i 'Bas a 
 
 SB sjuapuB aq; Xq pa;BUisap aaaA\ SUBI 
 
 UA^ouaj ojui u 
 
 ji ajaqAv adojng uja^sa^Y o; 'uuoj ja^Bi 
 aqj XJJBD o; 'suBpiuaoqj aqj 'aDBJ iaqiou 
 JI 'poijad ^saqj-Ba s^i jo tuioj a^q-Avoc 
 pauinsai ^uauirujsui aq; pauBM uopBzijup 
 ua}iB| aqi ui JBj[id jo jjodi 
 SDusssjd aqj ui si ujapoui aqj jo ;Bqj pUB i 
 uoipnj)suoo aqj ui aouaja^ip UIBUI aqx ' 
 -paaoDns jo uoiiBJiuipB aqi usaq SBq qo;qA\ 
 p aouBJBaddB UB juauinj^sui aq? o; 
 -jo-wq;oui 'AVioAi ui 'uoi^duosap
 
 asnes ne gazeu nxeuiy ai ner, ajjptucimy wnuuui vnywiug 
 who she was. The small notes, which wind throughout 
 almost all the keys by means of chromatic and enharmonic 
 modulations, picture his feverish anxiety and ever increas- 
 ing frenzy; the thumb of the right hand intones an exquisite 
 melody, distinguished by beauty as well as by passion. 
 Shortly before the close he seems to recognize the features 
 of his loved one (F sharp major, sixth measure from the 
 end); but almost immediately they fade (F sharp minor, 
 third measure from the end), and again desperation reigns. 
 
 No. 9. E major. Vision. 
 
 Here Chopin has .the conviction that he has lost his 
 power of invention. With the determination to discover 
 whether his brain can still originate ideas he strikes his 
 head with a hammer (here the sixteenths and the thirt- 
 seconds are to be carried out in exact time, indicating a 
 double stroke of the hammer). In the third and fourth 
 measures one can hear the blood trickle (trills in the left 
 hand). He is desperate at finding no inspiration (fifth 
 measure); he strikes again with the' hammer and with 
 greater force (thirty-seconds twice in succession during 
 the crescendo). In the key of A flat he finds his powers 
 again; appeased, he seeks his former key and closes con- 
 tentedly. 
 
 No. 10 C sharp minor. The Night Moth. 
 
 A night moth is flying around the room there! it has 
 suddenly hidden itself (the sustained G sharp); only its 
 wings twitch a little. In a moment it takes flight anew 
 and again settles down in the darkness its wings flutter 
 (trill in the left hand). This happens several times, but 
 at the last, just as the wings begin to quiver again, the busy- 
 body who lives in the room aims a stroke at the poor in- 
 sect it twitches once. . . and dies. 
 
 No n. B major. The Dragon-fly. 
 
 It flies in a circle round a pool; now it darts to the centre, 
 now to and fro a last time it sinks in the water. 
 
 No 12. G sharp minor. The Duel. 
 
 As is well known, Chopin was of a jealous disposition 
 r /-. c i ~eason 
 
 'vals 
 '3J1OAY i[B uodn UAYOp UAYOIJ o; suiass 'UM.O; aqj Sui^ooii^p 
 
 IIIR ^JJI 3U ,J uodn paqDjad 'S.mquauBj\; juapuB aqj, 
 
 ajqBj puB Suos p saua[re 3ui 
 
 -jadsiqAY aq} qjcauaq paunq MOU XajBAtqD puB aDUBiuoi OB 
 Suo\ jo sjpj ;Bqj SUITE p }BOO pjo snouno jo an;B}s B SBq 
 s;aa.i}s paABd ajqqoD SuipuiM aq; ui puaq qoBa puB UISDO; B 
 spunos azaaiq uapBj adBoS XjaAa ajaqAv'SinqzirjAY a^ii UM.OJ 
 IBAseipaui juiBnb B u; os XjjBjnDiwBfj -jsureSB dn sao 
 J3A3 }uauiujaAo3 pauiuSip uoijisodojd jmotuip ;soui aq; 
 Xnpajqnopun suuoj sjasoduioo reDisnui SunoA" p SSBJD y 
 
 jjnsaj aqi uoos si aouBipj 
 
 -jps PUB 'ji o; ppB o; XjpnpBjS puB 'uopinj qans aapun ';i 
 aziuSooaj puB azijBaj oj ja^omb si aq jjaAv Euiqjauios saop 
 Jidnd }Bqj auii; jxau aq^ -juauioui ajaui aq; uBqj 
 SuiqoBaj jaAi.od B sBq uopBJidsui p Suuajsoj 
 
 uajpSjoj aq JOUUBJ ji }Bqj os }i azisBqduia 
 oj puB ;uauiaBjnoDua jnoq;iAv ssBd Xjiunjjoddo UB qons 
 ;aj o} jaAau uiajsXs siq st jj -SSSUIJAVOJ sjqissod s}i p JBSJ 
 ui uajjuAv Suos ^sapoui B jo apnja ps^Bjd XpoaiioD B 
 
 :en by 
 n fury 
 A weir 
 
 nearei 
 . the wl 
 itil at i 
 ale) bri 
 n A wh 
 s; trees 
 
 flash b 
 th dram; 
 
 valuable adjuncts 
 alternated with oth< 
 at times dropped, ai 
 further practice, a. 
 progress. Other s. 
 future articles. 
 
 It is not many ye. 
 were in high favor 
 charm and the opp 
 exquisitely finished 
 should still be pla 
 
 ice of 
 
 Bap o; sui3a ( 
 daa aqi S3D V 
 
 ZATVKV 'h -;;; utv puoadji
 
 MAX REGER has accepted the position of con- 
 ductor of the Meiningen Court Orchestra and he 
 will leave Leipsic and take up his domicile in 
 Meiningen next autumn at the beginning of the 
 season. Twenty-five years ago Meiningen's or- 
 chestra, like its theater, was looked upon as a model 
 organization. ^Hans Von Billow, during the four 
 years that he was its conductor, brought it up to 
 the highest pitch of efficacy. At that time from 
 1880 to 1885 Brahms was a frequent visitor to 
 Meiningen, he having found in Biilow a most 
 ardent disciple. Billow's successor, Fritz Stein- 
 bach, although an excellent conductor, proved un- 
 able to maintain the high standard that Biilow had 
 set up, and the same is true of the late Wilhelm 
 Berger. The Meiningers now are looking forward 
 to the advent of Reger, hoping that his coming will 
 mark a new era in the musical life of that little 
 town. Long before the regime of Hans von 
 Biilow, the Meiningen Orchestra was known as an 
 excellent body of musicians; Louis Spohr, Franz 
 Liszt, Richard Wagner and Johannes Brahms con- 
 ducted there on special occasions. The late Rich- 
 ard Muehlfeld, clarinet player of the Meiningen 
 Orchestra, was considered the greatest clarinet vir- 
 tuoso of his day. It was in Meiningen that Richard 
 Strauss first won his spurs as a conductor, for he 
 lived there several years, as a pupil of von Biilow, 
 and assistant conductor of the orchestra.
 
 Nach einem Amiarell von Fran v. Liittichau 
 
 Grai-urc MeisenbachRiffarth&Cc.
 
 of 
 
 Hans von Bulow 
 
 Edited 
 
 by 
 
 His Widow 
 
 Selected and Translated into English 
 By Constance Bache 
 
 With T'wo ^Portraits 
 
 New York 
 D. Appleton and Company
 
 [All rights reserved.]
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF r M JFOR1Y 
 SAM" A ii U;a -..- \ 
 
 PREFACE TO THE GERMAN EDITION. 
 
 WE seem to have known but little, until now, of the first five-and- 
 twenty years of Hans von Billow's life, beyond a few general dates. 
 Whether and how far the process of development of the artist 
 and of the character may arouse the sympathy of the world, it is 
 impossible for a single individual to decide. But there is no doubt 
 that the picture of the transformation period of his life, in con- 
 junction with all he became, when fully developed, both to Art and 
 to his own day, is an important and even indispensable contribu- 
 tion towards a correct estimate of him. An intimate knowledge 
 of the soil which produced him, of the atmosphere which sur- 
 rounded him, of the impressions which he received, will help us 
 to understand him better, to follow the often apparently com- 
 plicated lines of what he felt and said, and will also help us to 
 apprehend him, where a hasty and fragmentary impression seemed 
 likely to confuse, rather than to satisfy, one's judgment. And 
 therefore I feel it to be iny duty not to hesitate in bringing out 
 these letters of my husband, in order that those who were in direct 
 touch with Billow's personality both in Art and life, and who felt 
 a degree of sympathy with him which must of necessity be want- 
 ing to a later generation, should have this help. 
 
 The chief importance of this work lies in the biographical 
 details which the letters contain, and these are of all the more
 
 VI PREFACE TO THE GERMAN EDITION. 
 
 value because Billow, with his ever-restless and on ward- striving 
 mind, was always averse to retrospective contemplation, and there- 
 fore left behind him but few indications as to his life, with the 
 exception of transient notes in later years. ' Life is too short for 
 reflection ; il ne faut pas remuer le passe ; it is better to utilise the 
 time for fresh work ' ; these were the things he was in the habit of 
 saying when people approached him on the subject of ' Memoirs,' 
 ' Eecollections,' etc. 
 
 There is no trace to be found of the diaries which, at his 
 mother's express wish, though to him very much against the grain, 
 he was in the habit of keeping in his early youth. Nor are there 
 any rough copies of letters or rough drafts such as there are, for 
 instance, of Schumann or Liszt, which could be of use in bringing 
 out the letters of those masters. There is every ground for think- 
 ing that Billow's letters were written straight off, spontaneously, 
 according to the feelings and mood of the moment. Moreover it 
 would have been an impossibility to do otherwise; it would be 
 inconceivable that he could write down twice over such a 
 voluminous and ample correspondence, whilst at the same time 
 he was doing so very much, not only in the domain of Music, but 
 also in that of Art and of learning. It was only in the last ten 
 years of his life that he occasionally had copies of his letters 
 made for some special reason. 
 
 He wrote a small, clear, regular hand, which changed but little 
 with the course of years, and but rarely made a mistake or an 
 erasion. Thus a letter of Billow's, even outwardly, bears witness 
 to his inborn sense for the beautiful and aristocratic in form, 
 satisfying the eye as well as the mind, without puzzling the former 
 by riddles such as now and then perplex the latter. Whoever 
 will pass in review Billow's life in the light of his writings will 
 meet such riddles, and will more than once feel the most elevated 
 frame of mind suddenly interrupted by them. But it would be
 
 PREFACE TO THE GERMAN EDITION. Vll 
 
 misconstruing the right to truth, it would be incompletely 
 estimating the historical personality of Hans von Billow, if one 
 perhaps timidly avoided them. This personality can lose nothing 
 of its beacon-power by a flashing word here, or a contradiction 
 there ; the few dark touches do but make it gain in corporeality, 
 and thus bring it nearer to the heart, for they just go hand-in- 
 hand with all that was most worthy of honour in him. 
 
 A passionate desire, emanating from a profound sense of truth 
 and justice, to help on any true artist-nature and this long before 
 the tide of fashion had turned in its favour ; the manner in which 
 he combated whatsoever stood in his way ; the personal courage 
 which overlooked all difficulties, or even the disadvantage which 
 might accrue to himself from the position he had taken up these 
 are some of Billow's most striking characteristics. They can be 
 traced through his whole life, and are the basis of all those words 
 and actions which have been set down as ' inconsistencies ' by 
 those who held aloof from him. They are the guides that enable 
 us to read his life aright, and fully explain those sides of his 
 character which need any explanation. 
 
 Lives of great men all remind us 
 
 We can make our lives sublime, 
 And, departing, leave behind us 
 
 Footprints on the sands of time ; 
 
 Footprints, that perhaps another, 
 
 Sailing o'er life's solemn main, 
 A forlorn and shipwrecked brother, 
 
 Seeing, shall take heart again. 
 
 MARIE VOX BULOW. 
 HAMBURG, Autumn 1895.
 
 PREFACE TO TPIE ENGLISH EDITION. 
 
 THE contents of the present volume are a selection from two 
 volumes of Letters brought out in Germany by Marie von Billow. 
 To make a selection from the 240 original letters has been 
 deemed advisable, as there are many of them which, whilst 
 interesting to Billow's fellow-countrymen, would hardly appeal 
 to the general English reader. At the same time nothing has 
 been omitted that is of vital interest or importance in enabling 
 us to understand the sequence of events which moulded Billow's 
 youthful life and decided his career. I may add that Frau 
 Marie von Billow has authorised and approved such condensation 
 as I have thought it necessary to make. 
 
 Hans von Billow has been, with one exception, the "best abused" 
 musician of our day. He has been more misunderstood, more 
 laughed at, and even sneered at, than any other except Wagner. 
 The reasons for this judgment are superficial, and are not far 
 to seek. Billow had a hasty tongue, and he was apt to say 
 exactly what he meant, without softening down the edges. Wagner 
 did just the same; and think of the " Schimpf worterblicher " 
 that his enemies published about him ! These are the things 
 that stick fast in the public mind until the tide of fashion 
 turns the other way, and then well, then they are forgotten. 
 Twenty years have cleared away many of the mists and clouds 
 that hung over Baireuth, and have shown us the man as he was, 
 both good and bad. I believe that these Letters will do more
 
 X PREFACE TO THE ENGLISH EDITION. 
 
 than anything else to clear away the atmosphere of mist and 
 cloud that has hung around Billow's name, for they let us see 
 behind the veil, and the real man is revealed to us. It must be 
 borne in mind that very many of these letters are to his parents, 
 and in these he gives the rein to his aspirations, disappointments, 
 and confidences, with a naivete' and absolute truthfulness rare 
 even between parent and child. 
 
 The turning-point of his life, when he undertakes that journey 
 to Wagner on foot, "to see if he has the necessary strength of 
 endurance"; the heart-broken letters that follow his father's 
 sudden death; the exciting and characteristic extremes of the 
 letters that describe his first experiences in concert-giving these 
 are among the gems of the collection. 
 
 A good many French words appear in the course of the Letters. 
 They are, almost without exception, Billow's own expressions 
 interpolated into German letters ; these I have therefore retained. 
 A few of his letters, notably those to Franz Liszt who wrote 
 in French by preference, are written in that language, and in 
 those I have merely retained such expressions as seemed to be 
 more " telling " in French than in a translation. 
 
 It will be seen from the Letters how Billow suffered from ill- 
 health, more or less, all his life ; and this, added to an intensely 
 nervous, highly-strung temperament, at length broke him down. 
 In 1894 he was taken, ill as he then was, to Cairo, to see what 
 the change might do for him. But this forlorn hope of restor- 
 ing his shattered health was, alas, not realised, and he expired 
 there, a few days after his arrival, on the 12th of February 1894. 
 His remains were brought to Hamburg, the city of his adoption 
 and of his preference, to be cremated, according to the great 
 Master's own desire. 
 
 CONSTANCE BACHE. 
 
 LONDON, Autumn, 1896.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 INTRODUCTION ........ 1 
 
 I. DRESDEN LEIPZIG : 1830-1846. 
 
 To his Mother ....... 9 
 
 To the same ....... 10 
 
 To the same ....... 11 
 
 II. STUTTGART : AUTUMN 1846 SPRING 1848. 
 
 To Friedrich Wieck . . . . . .17 
 
 To his Mother ....... 19 
 
 To the same ....... 20 
 
 To Joachim Raff ....... 20 
 
 III. LEIPZIG UNIVERSITY : SPRING 1848 AUTUMN 1849. 
 
 To his Mother . ... . . . .26 
 
 To the same ....... 31 
 
 To the same ....... 32 
 
 To the same ...*... 34 
 
 To the same ....... 36 
 
 IV. BERLIN UNIVERSITY : AUTUMN 1849 SUMMER 1850. 
 
 To his Mother . . . . . .39 
 
 To the same ....... 40 
 
 V. SWITZERLAND : AUTUMN 1850 SUMMER 1851. 
 
 To his Mother ....... 45 
 
 Richard Wagner to Franziska von Billow . . .49 
 
 Franz Liszt to Franziska von Biilow . . . .52 
 
 To his Sister ....... 53 
 
 To his Mother . ..... 54 
 
 To his Father ....... 57 
 
 To the same ....... 59 
 
 To the same ....... 61 
 
 To the same ..... 62
 
 Xll CONTENTS. 
 
 V. SWITZERLAND eontentted, 
 
 To his Father . ,.' v . . .63 
 
 To the same . v. . . . . 64 
 
 Franz Liszt to Eduard von Billow . . . .66 
 
 Eduard to Ernst von Biilow . . . . .68 
 
 To his Sister . . . . . .68 
 
 To his Father .' . . . . . .71 
 
 To the same v . : . . . . . 72 
 
 To his Mother . . . . . .73 
 
 To the same ....... 76 
 
 Eduard to Ernst von Biilow ..... 77 
 
 To his Sister . . / . . . . . . 77 
 
 VI. WEIMAR : SUMMER 1851 WINTER 1853. 
 
 To his Father ;.. . ' . . . . . 81 
 
 To Franz Liszt . . : .. . . . . 84 
 
 To his Father .^ . . . . . . . 85 
 
 To his Mother "...'. . . . . . .87 
 
 To the same . . . . . .88 
 
 To his Father '. . . . .89 
 
 To his Mother I . . , . . .91 
 
 To his Father . . : ' . . . . .92 
 
 To his Mother . ... . . .93 
 
 To Theodor Uhlig . . . ... .96 
 
 To his Father . . . . ; 98 
 
 To Frau Hitter . . . . , .99 
 
 To his Father . . . ..... .101 
 
 To Theodor Uhlig . . . . . . .107 
 
 To his Sister . . . . . .107 
 
 To Theodor Uhlig . . . . . . .109 
 
 To his Mother . . . . ... 110 
 
 To his Father . . . . . . .113 
 
 To the same ....... 117 
 
 To the same ....... 121 
 
 Franziska von Biilow to her Daughter . . .122 
 
 To Peter Cornelius ....... 124 
 
 To his Sister ....... 125 
 
 To his Mother . . . . . . .126 
 
 To the same . . . . . . .128 
 
 To his Father . . . . . .129 
 
 To the same ....... 131 
 
 Eduard to Ernst von Biilow ..... 134 
 
 Franziska von Biilow to her Daughter , . . 134
 
 CONTENTS. X1U 
 
 CHAFJ'ER PAGE 
 
 VII. AUSTRIA : SPRING SUMMER 1853. 
 
 To his Mother ....... 139 
 
 Franziska von Billow to her Daughter . . . 142 
 
 Franz Liszt to Franziska von Billow . . . .142 
 
 To his Mother ....... 143 
 
 To the same ....... 147 
 
 To his Father ....... 150 
 
 To the same ....... 151 
 
 To the same ....... 152 
 
 To his Mother . . . . . .153 
 
 To the same ....... 156 
 
 To the same ....... 159 
 
 VIII. CARLSRUHE OTLISHAUSEN : AUTUMN 1853. 
 
 To Richard Pohl ....... 165 
 
 To his Mother ....... 166 
 
 To his Sister ....... 168 
 
 To Joachim Raff ....... 170 
 
 To his Mother ....... 172 
 
 To Franz Liszt ....... 174 
 
 IX. NORTH GERMANY : WINTER 1853 SPRING 1854. 
 
 To his Mother ....... 181 
 
 To the same . . . . . . 182 
 
 To Franz Liszt ....... 183 
 
 To Ms Mother ; . . . . .184 
 
 To the same ....... 185 
 
 To Frau von Milde ....... 187 
 
 To his Mother . ...... . . .187 
 
 To the same . . . . . . 189 
 
 To the same ....... 190 
 
 To the same . . . . . 192 
 
 X. DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN : SPRING 1854 WINTER 1855. 
 To Franz Liszt ....... 
 
 To the same . . . . .... 
 
 To the same ...... 
 
 To Alexander Ritter ...... 
 
 Hector Berlioz to Hans von Biilow .... 
 
 To the same ....... 
 
 To Franz Liszt ....... 
 
 To his Mother ....... 
 
 To the same . . . . . 
 
 To the same . . . 
 
 To his Sister
 
 XIV CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 X. DRESDEN continued. 
 
 To his Mother . . . . . ,219 
 
 To his Sister . . . 222 
 
 To Franz Liszt . .224 
 
 To his Mother . . .227 
 
 To the same '. ..... 228 
 
 To the same ..... .231 
 
 To the same . . . . . .234 
 
 To the same ....... 237 
 
 To Alexander Hitter ...... 239 
 
 To Madame Laussot ...... 240 
 
 XI. BRESLAU POSEN BERLIN : WINTER SPRING 1855. 
 
 To his Mother . '. ' . . . . .247 
 
 Franziska von Biilow to her Daughter . .. . 247 
 
 To his Mother ....... 248 
 
 To Franz Liszt ....... 250 
 
 To Louis Kohler ....... 254 
 
 Franz Liszt to Louis Kohler ..... 254 
 
 Franziska von Biilow to her Daughter . . . 255 
 
 To his Sister ....... 256 
 
 Franziska von Biilow to her Daughter . . . 257
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 L HANS GUIDO VON BULOW IN BOYHOOD (from a icater-cokur by 
 
 Frau von Liittichau) ..... (Frontispiece) 
 
 IL HANS GUIDO VON BULOW AT THE AUE OF TWENTY-FIVE (painted 
 
 by W. Streclcfuss in 1855) , . . To face page 117
 
 INTRODUCTION
 
 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 
 
 FROM the family book of the von Billows we learn that Ernst Heinrich 
 Adolph, the grandfather of the subject of the present volume, was born 
 on the 21st July 1766, and brought up for the army. Wounded in 
 the battle of Smolensk, he received the Royal Saxon Order of Henry 
 and the Imperial French Order of the Legion of Honour, was pensioned 
 off after peace was proclaimed, and resided in Dresden until his death 
 in 1842. 
 
 Of his three sons, one only grew to manhood Carl Eduard, who was 
 born in the year 1803. He was destined for the mercantile line, and 
 with this view was put to work for some time in various banking 
 houses. But his tastes lay in other directions, and he went for some 
 years to the University of Leipzig, where he made a special study of 
 the dead languages. In the year 1828 he returned to Dresden, and 
 devoted himself thenceforth exclusively to the career of letters. 
 
 In the year 1828 Eduard married Franziska Elisabeth Stoll, who was 
 born at Leipzig in the year 1800; and there she had lived for many years 
 in the house of her celebrated elder sister and the latter's husband, Herr 
 Kammerrath Frege, helping them in the education of their son Woldemar. 
 Her immense talents, lively disposition, and good musical education 
 enabled her to exercise a powerful influence over the young Woldemar, 
 who preserved throughout his life a faithful and grateful feeling towards 
 his aunt. Franziska left this home for Dresden, on her marriage with 
 Eduard von Billow. 
 
 Here the young couple lived in the midst of a pleasant literary and 
 artistic circle, which included such names as Herr von Liittichau, the 
 Intendant of the Dresden Theatre, and his accomplished wife, Countess 
 Hahn-Hahn, the widowed Countess Biilow-Dennewitz with her daughter 
 Louise, besides Eduard's faithful friend Tieck. In the Billow family 
 music played always a conspicuous part, Franziska having regular prac-
 
 4 HANS VON Bt)LOW. 
 
 tising reunions with the violoncellist Henselt, who afterwards became 
 the first piano teacher of her son Hans. 
 
 On the 8th January 1830 Hans Guido von Billow was born at 19 
 Kohlmarkt, Dresden- Altstadt, now known as 12 Kornerstrasse, at the 
 corner diagonally opposite to the house where Theodor Kb'rner was born. 
 A weakling from his very birth, Hans (as we shall see from his later 
 letters) never enjoyed robust health. Five times, as his mother related 
 in after years, he suffered from brain fever, although some doctors main- 
 tained that, had that been so, it would have been impossible for him to 
 cultivate that marvellous memory, and to attain to such a degree of 
 mental development as he actually did. 
 
 Be that as it may, Hans and his sister Isidora, three years younger 
 than himself, did not, either of them, enjoy a happy childhood. For, 
 apart from physical weakness which however did not prevent the boy 
 from keeping pace with his schoolfellows in the examinations, and even 
 surpassing most of them the sharp eyes of the children were not long 
 in discerning the differences and want of harmony in the characters of 
 their parents. This point cannot remain unmentioned, because it 
 exercised a deep influence on the future man's destiny, and it forms too 
 important a factor in Hans von Billow's life and experience to be passed 
 over in silence. 
 
 Franziska's passionate character, to which from her childhood up she 
 had given way, unrestrained by education and position ; her religious- 
 ness, which to her appeared inseparable from prescribed forms ; her ever- 
 increasing preference for Catholicism, to which she finally went over at 
 the ripe age of eighty -four ; her sympathy for the Conservative side in 
 politics ; the absence, as it seems, of a certain cheerful element in her 
 nature, all this stands out in glaring contrast to Eduard's amiable, 
 fantastic nature, his enthusiasm for the ideas of freedom with which at 
 that time all the rising generation was filled, his antipathy to the 
 clerical party and to the condition of things in the Germany of that day, 
 which betrayed itself, amongst other things, by his disinclination to 
 acknowledge himself as the subject of any individual German State. 
 
 Something of an almost effeminate gentleness and nervousness, com- 
 bined with a hot, hasty temperament and a want of strength of will, 
 these seem to have constituted the shady side of what was otherwise such 
 an attractive personality, and it was these which must have made the 
 daily intercourse with him somewhat difficult. 
 
 The children were not at all systematically educated by their parents, 
 except as regards the French language, for which Franziska had such a 
 great liking that she made them learn it thoroughly at a very early age. 
 
 "When he was nine years old, Hans received his first pianoforte lessons
 
 INTRODUCTION. 5 
 
 from Herr Henselt (already mentioned). Louise von Billow, who 
 became afterwards Eduard's second wife, often visited at their house 
 in those days, and remembers hearing that when the boy was con- 
 fined to the house or to bed by illness, as was frequently the case, 
 his favourite occupation was music-reading. She also relates that he 
 often went to the Catholic Church to hear the fine music there, and when 
 he came home he would play from memory any melodies that particu- 
 larly pleased him. Herr Henselt soon declared that he could teach the 
 boy nothing more, and he was then placed under Fraulein Schmiedel for 
 piano lessons, and Herr Eberwein for theory. 
 
 "All these indications of a special gift for music," wrote Louise von 
 Billow, " delighted his parents, but it never occurred to them to bring 
 up their son as an artist, especially as he was distinguishing himself at 
 the Dresden Gymnasium, and learned with the utmost rapidity what to 
 other boys cost great labour and pains. His parents, especially his 
 mother, thought that great musical talent would beautify his life, would 
 keep him away from many useless, foolish things, and would always 
 ensure him an agreeable position in society." 
 
 It must have been between the years 1842 and 1844 that Franziska 
 made Liszt's acquaintance, as it was about that time that he was playing 
 in Dresden, arousing enormous enthusiasm. He also went much into 
 society, and the Billow family also enjoyed visits from him. It was 
 probably at that time that Liszt, at an evening party at a house close by, 
 declared that he would only play if they fetched the little Billow, which 
 was of course immediately done, although the little fellow had already 
 gone to bed. 
 
 It was in the lessons with Fraulein Schmiedel that a friendship was 
 begun, which accompanied Hans von Billow faithfully throughout his 
 whole life : this was with Miss Taylor, afterwards Madame Laussot, and 
 now the widow of the eminent writer Karl Hillebrand, a widely-known 
 and highly-esteemed woman, whose great talents, especially in music, 
 and whose enthusiasm for art, and noble nature, procured her the friend- 
 ship and respect of all the greatest musicians of the last forty years. 
 And yet another important friendship of Billow's must be mentioned 
 here, namely, that with the brothers Karl and Alexander Hitter. This 
 friendship exercised an immense influence, musically, on Billow's youth. 
 The mother of the two Eitters a well-to-do widow from Narwa, who had 
 settled down in Dresden lived a very retired life, and there was no 
 intercourse between her and the Billow family. But from a mother 
 who, firmly believing in the genius of Bichard Wagner, had helped him 
 over his hardest years of exile, her sons had inherited a glowing enthu- 
 siasm for art, and this knit together the youthful hearts of the three
 
 O HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 school friends, Hans and the two Ritters. In common with them, he 
 received the first great musical impression of his life, when ' Rienzi ' 
 was performed for the first time in Dresden in the year 1842. What 
 was then written in letters of flame on his youthful fancy was extin- 
 guished only with his last breath. 
 
 During his schooldays in Dresden, from 1840-45, Hans frequently 
 visited his relations, the Freges, in Leipzig. Woldemar, now grown to 
 man's estate, had become Professor of Law at the Leipzig University, 
 and had married Livia Gerhardt on her eighteenth birthday. In spite 
 of her extreme youth, she had already attained notice as a talented 
 singer; she was also on terms of friendship with Mendelssohn, who 
 dedicated many of his works to her. The young couple occupied half 
 of the old family house of the Freges, Woldemar's parents living in the 
 other portion. 
 
 Further mention will be made of this later on, at the time when 
 Hans came to spend the University period of his life with them.
 
 DRESDEN LEIPZIG
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 DRESDEN LEIPZIG. 
 18301846. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 LEIPZIG, 23rd May 1841. 
 DEAR MAMMA, 
 
 So at last you have decided to go to Baden-Baden, to get 
 yourself well and strong again. I am always so glad of a letter from you, 
 as I am longing to know how you are, etc. Papa was here on Monday and 
 Tuesday, and wanted to take me with him, but has after all left me here 
 at the general request. I am now quite settled ; I have two lessons a 
 week from Herr Hesse, who corrects my work, and gives me fresh work 
 to do ; I also have French lessons every day from Fraulein Hackstadt. 
 I have lots of amusement at the riders' booth and in a panorama, and I 
 have been to a Bellini opera ! The best first ' i Capuleti et i Montechi ! ' 
 O, when I heard that this heavenly opera was going to be given, I was 
 quite beside myself for joy, for I could already flatter myself with hope, 
 as Aunt had promised to send me to a Bellini opera. Demoiselle Kreutzer 
 (daughter of the Kapellmeister) was starring it here from the Cologne 
 Theatre, and played Julia, and she will also play in ' Robert le Diable,' 
 and in her father's ' Nachtlager ' (so she says). She pleased me very 
 much ; her voice and appearance are beautiful, only she makes such faces 
 when she sings. Romeo, Madame Schmitdgen, I did not like. The 
 three men I liked. But the choruses were very badly sung; I had 
 expected them to be much better. At the riding booth they did some 
 beautiful and extraordinarily difficult athletic exercises (Glohia is mere 
 child's play in comparison), but these would not interest you, so I shall 
 only say that Demoiselle Louise Zischek is a wonderfully charming and 
 graceful rider ; there are Bedouins, and the training of the horses is very 
 good, and the decorations are very pretty. I have been to a panorama 
 by Enslen, ' A Journey to Germany and Italy.' One quite imagines
 
 10 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 oneself in the town and neighbourhood. It interested me very much, 
 although I don't care particularly about pictures, especially of Italy. 
 The lovely cities of Naples, Venice, Florence, Rome, and the glorious 
 monuments of Pompeii, and Berlin amongst the German cities, pleased 
 me most of all. Aunt sends you her best love, and is going to write to 
 you soon. Goodbye, dear Mamma, and continue to love 
 
 Your obedient Sou, 
 
 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 I forgot to tell you that I have got to know the celebrated actress, 
 Madame Crelinger and her daughter, and have heard Clara Schumann, 
 who unfortunately only accompanied Livia. 
 
 From that early period there are but two letters extant. We have contented 
 ourselves with taking the second of these, as being the more interesting. We 
 now pass on to the year 1844, when, still in Leipzig, he writes to his mother 
 as follows, on the 24th July : 
 
 I must tell you plainly that I don't at all want to go to Tetschen 
 even for a couple of days, as I can enjoy fresh air here also, and it is 
 extremely necessary for me to stay as long as possible in Leipzig, both on 
 account of the Rakoczy-cure and the drilling lessons, and also on account 
 of the music, as it is of the utmost use to me to hear Madame Schumann, 
 and this more than anything else will urge me on to more practice. I 
 am also reading French, and Aunt borrows Racine, Moliere, Florian, and 
 Voltaire for me, all of which I find rather tedious. 
 
 I am keeping my diary, but I don't know in the least how to 
 ' meditate a little and then write it down,' as you recommend. How is 
 the theatre going on now the Lipinskis are gone 1 
 
 I am playing Bach Fugues, ' Poeme d'amour,' Mayer's Studies, 
 Beethoven's D minor and C sharp minor Sonatas, and keeping up other 
 pieces, such as Hummel's A minor Concerto and Septet. 
 
 And on the 9th May 1845 he makes the following remarks about his music 
 in a letter to his mother, also from Leipzig : 
 
 I practise steadily two hours a day, and have got up again what I 
 had lost by a few days' stoppage. I am playing Chopin, Henselt, Bach 
 and Hummel, and have begun to study the Fantasia ' Oberon's Magic 
 Horn.' 
 
 I have already had two lessons from Herr Hauptmann.* I like 
 
 * Moritz Hauptmann (1792-1868), composer, Master of Theory, Cantor of the 
 Thomasschule, and teacher at the Leipzig Conservatoire,
 
 DRESDEN LEIPZIG. 11 
 
 him very much ; he is very friendly, and it gives me almost more pleasure 
 to learn from him than from Herr Eberwein. Yesterday he was pleased 
 with the exercises I had done for him. 
 
 Yesterday I went twice to see Herr Plaidy;* he was not at home. I 
 begged for an appointment with him, and he has sent me word today to 
 go to him at six o'clock. 
 
 P.S. I have begged Aunt to tell you whether I have grown more 
 sensible. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 THURSDAY, t 4.30 in the morning, 
 30th May, '45. 
 
 DEAR MAMMA, 
 
 I woke today exactly at four o'clock, dressed, 
 have had already half an hour in the garden, and now come back to finish 
 this letter to you, of which I wrote a rough copy yesterday. I can't 
 write to you at any other time, for today is Aunt's birthday, and we 
 want, if the weather keeps fine, to make a party and go to Halle and the 
 Giebichenstein, for which we must start by rail at a quarter to eleven. 
 I will write to Isa about it very soon. 
 
 With regard to my piano-playing you may set your mind at ease. 
 ' Je travaille comme un n&gre,' I can truly say. Every morning I play 
 shake exercises, scales, simple and chromatic of all kinds, exercises for 
 throwing the hands (for these I use a Study of Moscheles, one of Steibelt, 
 and a two-part Fugue of Bach's, which I play with octaves in both hands ; 
 it was Goldschmidt who recommended me to do this), Toccatas of 
 Czerny, which Herr Plaidy gave me, and Moscheles' and Chopin's 
 Studies ; so that I don't find any others of Bertini, Cramer, or Clementi 
 necessary ; I have enough to do with the Chopin Studies, which fully 
 take the place of all these others, and I hope you will think I am doing 
 right. I finished Field's A major Concerto yesterday ; I have only 
 studied the first movement Herr Plaidy thinks the others are not worth 
 much and at my next lesson I shall begin Mendelssohn's D minor 
 Concerto. Besides these, I am studying by myself Bach's Fugues, 
 Klengel's Canons, Oberon's Zauberhorn, HummePs Fantasia, a Beethoven 
 Sonata (the ( Pastorale,' in D major), and am keeping up my old pieces, 
 such as Chopin's Tarantella and Nocturnes, Henselt's Variations and 
 
 * Louis Plaidy (1810-74), pianoforte teacher at the Leipzig Conservatoire, 
 t Probably 5.30. 
 
 Otto Goldschmidt (1829), pianist, pupil of Mendelssohn, later on married 
 Jenny Lind,
 
 12 HANS VON 13ULOW. 
 
 Friihlingslied, and Hummel's B minor Concerto pp. I played Beethoven's 
 C major Sonata to Herr Hauptmann, whose lessons are a great interest 
 and pleasure to me. He praised my conception of it, and gave me a few 
 hints and some advice now and then, which it would take too long to tell 
 you about. Then I played him a Fugue of Bach's, in which he found 
 fault with the Czerny edition, which gives it staccato, as I played it, but 
 Herr Hauptmann thinks it would suit the character of this Fugue (C 
 minor) better to play it legato. 
 
 Plaidy is in every respect a good teacher, and I am convinced that I 
 shall be able to learn much more under his and Hauptmann's tuition, 
 with the great encouragement which I get here from the musical boys of 
 my own age, than in Dresden. 
 
 I have often played duets with Goldschmidt ; he has also dined 
 with us, and is invited again for next Sunday with Joachim. 
 
 The piano from Klemm has been tuned again, but it is in such a 
 condition that one can only play finger exercises on it, and even that 
 is scarcely endurable. For the rest, I have gained in tone and strength 
 in my playing. Sometimes I borrow a Beethoven Symphony in score 
 from Klemm, which I then study. 
 
 Count Reuss, who is in every way extremely kind and friendly to 
 me, has given me leave to practise on his grand piano, as he is away from 
 home nearly the whole day. It is rather a stiff touch (it is an Irmler), 
 and has a magnificent tone. It is too stiff for the Count, and I am 
 therefore, as it were, to break it in for him. The Count also played 
 duets with me once when I went to see him. 
 
 Chancellor Miiller * from Weimar came to call on Livia yesterday, 
 who had to occupy herself with him the whole day. He sends you his 
 very best remembrances. He has grown rather deaf. He told us a lot 
 of interesting things about his life, and his meeting with Napoleon, 
 which also entertained me very much. Aunt gave him a little dinner, 
 to which Dr. Auerbach. was also invited, and I liked him very much. 
 Champagne and Maitrank were drunk. I am extremely fond of them 
 both, and hope that you will also have some of the latter to enjoy. 
 
 Livia often sings ; I accompany her, and composed two songs for 
 her lately when I lost a Vielliebclien.^ I read lately in the Vienna 
 paper, in the news from Prague: " (Delayed). Herr Litolff| has given 
 
 * Friedrich v. Miiller (1779-1849), Chancellor of Weimar, a friend of Goethe's. 
 
 t ' Vielliebchen,' commonly known in English as 'Fillipine,' doubtless a 
 corruption of the original. 
 
 Henry Charles Litolff, composer and celebrated pianist, was born in London 
 in 1818 ; died in Paris in 1891. Was for a long time an intimate friend of the von 
 Biilows.
 
 DRESDEN LEIPZIG. 13 
 
 five concerts with enormous success ; at the last of them he was assisted 
 by Prume. He interested people both by his playing and compositions, 
 as well as by his adventurous life. He possesses uncommon delicacy, 
 and with it great energy, and might in many respects be compared with 
 Liszt, though in the latter one recognises always the Hungarian, in 
 Litolff always the Englishman ! " 
 
 Hiller's opera has been given again in Dresden a few times, but 
 does not seem to have been well attended. 
 
 Madame Birch- Pfeiffer is starring here. She has had 'Thomas 
 Tyrnau' given, which has not taken at all here. I have been again 
 twice to the theatre to the ' Freischiitz ' and to ' Alessandro Stradella,' 
 a romantic opera by Flotow, which contains some pretty, lively melodies 
 in the style of Auber.
 
 STUTTGART
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 STUTTGART. 
 
 AUTUMN 1846 SPRING 1848. 
 
 IN the year 1846 Eduard von Billow, with his family, removed from Dresden 
 to Stuttgart. It was about this time that, during a summer holiday at 
 Bingen, Hans made the acquaintance of Joachim Raff, the celebrated musician 
 and composer, an acquaintance which ripened into a lifelong friendship. 
 Kaff was eight years older than Hans, so that the latter, while on a par with 
 him as a friend, was able to look up to him as a mentor in music. In 
 Stuttgart also about this time Hans got to know Molique, then just 
 approaching the zenith of his fame as a violinist, and in his house Billow 
 spent many happy hours, and played much with the Virtuoso. One of 
 Molique's daughters, writing of those days, says : " There was nothing 
 angular or helpless about Billow. When he was at the piano, one soon saw 
 that it was a young Master who was in command of the instrument." 
 
 The Billows left Stuttgart in 1848 and returned to Dresden. 
 
 The following letter, giving Hans' first impressions of Stuttgart life, is the 
 only one obtainable of the year 1846 : 
 
 * TO FRIEDRICH WIECK f (DRESDEN). 
 
 STUTTGART, 23th September 1846. 
 DEAR SIR AND MASTER, 
 
 You wished me to write to you from Stuttgart, 
 
 and I avail myself of this permission in order to thank you for your 
 kind letter of introduction to Herr Concertmeister Molique. I went to 
 see him shortly after my arrival; my playing seemed to please him; at 
 any rate he spoke, in terms of praise of it, and said he would write to 
 you himself. He gave me two Sonatas of his own composition to take 
 away with me, and says he will play them with me. I am now busy 
 
 * Taken from Kohnt's ' Friedrieh Wieck,' Pierson, Dresden, 
 f Friedrich Wieck (1785-1873), pianoforte teacher, father of Clara Schumann, 
 
 B
 
 18 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 studying them ; they are certainly difficult, but quite suitable to the 
 piano, and extremely beautiful, so much so that one can truly say that 
 no such grand duets for piano and violin have appeared since Beethoven. 
 I am surprised that they are not yet better known, and I much wish 
 that you could get to know them. He has begged me to go and see him 
 often, and I have to play a good deal before his daughter, who loves 
 music, and who plays with much facility and spirit, although she 
 complains that she has had no opportunity here of a good training 
 in piano-playing. The pianist Kriiger * is away. Concertmeister 
 Bohrer's t wife and son are considered the best pianists here ; I have 
 not yet heard them, but Molique thinks the wife is only a drawing-room 
 player, and that the son (who plays in a blurred and unclear manner) is 
 unworthy of mention. There is also Madame Heinrich here, who gives 
 lessons, and who studied in Paris with Chopin. 
 
 Just lately I saw Kapellmeister Benedict j from London, whose 
 father is a banker here. He came to Molique's to hear the hitter's new 
 Trio, a really grand, original, and well worked-out composition, far 
 surpassing the Sonatas in wealth and beauty of ideas. The piano part 
 is very difficult, and was played by his daughter in a very finished 
 manner. Benedict stays here some weeks longer, and I hope to see him 
 often. Later on he intends to make a tour in Germany. A new pianist 
 of the name of Kuhn is here, and intends to give a concert. But, from 
 what I hear, he is no good. 
 
 There is even less classical taste here then in Dresden. Mozart, 
 Beethoven, Weber these can only be played in the king's absence. . . . 
 But it seems that at the winter concerts, which take place twice a month, 
 one does hear some better music. 
 
 I have plenty of time for piano-playing just now, as the Gymnasium 
 does not open till the 15th October, so I am working pretty hard at it. 
 I am learning to understand the excellence of your teaching more and 
 more, and am trying to follow your directions. 
 
 I have not yet myself tried the Stuttgart pianos of Schiedmayer, 
 but, judging from hearing them played, they seem to have a powerful, 
 beautiful, and singing tone ; but they have a stiff touch. The mechanism 
 is English, and the prices low 500 gulden (or about 300 thalers). 
 
 Lindpaintner's new opera ' Lichtenstein' has met with no success. 
 
 * "Wilhelm Kriiger (1820-83), composer and teacher at the Stuttgart Con- 
 servatoire. 
 
 t Max Bohrer (1785-1852), first violoncellist at the Stuttgart Theatre. 
 
 J Julius Benedict (1804-85), operatic composer ; lived in Vienna, Liverpool, and 
 London.
 
 STUTTGART. 19 
 
 I hoped to be able to write to you about it, but it has not been given 
 again. As there is no more musical news to tell which would be of any 
 interest to you, I conclude by signing myself, 
 
 Yours very obediently, 
 
 HANS VON BiiLow. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 STUTTGART, Munday, 3Qth August 1847. 
 
 . . . . I am now quite well again. I have not yet begun to 
 take riding lessons again, but I must begin soon, as it is maintained here 
 among my comrades that, in consequence of an accident, I have given 
 the whole thing up, and, of course, I must now give a brilliant 
 contradiction to such reports. . . . One Sunday lately I was in the 
 Schloss Church, where Griineisen was preaching again for the first time. 
 There are a great many holidays just now, and this week there is again 
 an examination, which gives me some free days. 
 
 In the autumn in the middle of September there is to be, as 
 usual, a prize recitation for every class. Seven in my class, including 
 myself, are going in for it. I think I shall recite Schiller's ' Ver- 
 schleiertes Bild zu Sais,' and hope I shall win the prize ; but, if I should 
 not, I shall not be in despair. I have now been studying Mendelssohn's 
 Rondo, which I like immensely, and then Liszt's magnificent arrange- 
 ment of the Oberon Overture; I am also playing Mayer's Studies, a 
 Toccata, a new number of Czerny's ' Schule der Fingerfertigkeit,' some 
 of Bach's Fugues, and a Scherzo of Mendelssohn's. Now I am taking 
 up again Hummel's Fantasia, which I like much ; it is difficult, and 
 only here and there a little unpleasantly old-fashioned ; I am also 
 studying the new edition of Liszt's ' Sonnambula,' and Litolffs charming 
 ' Invitation a la Polka.' I am keeping up Beethoven's D minor 
 Sonata, and think of studying one of Weber's, which are really beautiful. 
 I have had the piano tuned lately, but as it has had some new strings it 
 is again awfully out of tune. 
 
 I was with Molique on the two last Sundays, and played two 
 Beethoven Sonatas with him. He was very friendly, and will lend me 
 with pleasure some of his scores of ancient operas by Piccini, Lully, 
 Paesiello, which will interest me immensely. I played Mendelssohn's, 
 Rondo to him lately, and he was much pleased. 
 
 As soon as I have drummed the Hummel Fantasia into my fingers,
 
 20 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 I shall let him hear it. He does not know it at all. Fraulein Molique 
 has heen ill, and is not going to give any more lessons henceforth. 
 
 Things are going on somewhat hetter than formerly with my little 
 pupil ; * certainly I still get very cross, but as far as possible only inside 
 myself one must postpone its effects, I think. 
 
 Writing to his mother on the 7th September, he says : 
 Yesterday Eitter sent me a letter, and a parcel containing com- 
 positions, some Songs, a Sonata dedicated to me, and half of a string 
 Quartet. There are some pretty original ideas in them, but the form 
 is of course still rather awkward and abnormal. 
 
 With them was a letter from Kapellmeister Wagner to me ! ! ! 
 " Your works, dear Herr von Billow, have given me much pleasure ; I 
 did not wish to give them back to your friend Hitter without accom- 
 panying them with a cheering word to you. I do not add a criticism to 
 them, for you will have enough of criticism without me ; and I feel all 
 the less disposed to pick out weaknesses and other things which did not 
 please me, as I see from all that remains that you will soon be 
 completely able to criticise your earlier attempts for yourself. 
 " Go on trying, and let me soon see something more." 
 I think that it is superfluous for me to try to add a single word to 
 this. When Eitter came to the Kapellmeister, who just at that time 
 had visitors, he said quietly to Eitter, pointing to my work, "an 
 undeniable talent." 
 
 TO JOACHIM EAFF. 
 
 STUTTGART, 30th December 1847. 
 
 MOST HONOURED FRIEND, 
 
 This rather bad weather prevents me from coming to 
 you myself, to thank you once more for your note to Lindpaintner. He 
 desires his kind regards to you, would much like to get to know you 
 better, and says he has " never yet heard your name mentioned in general." 
 So it is now settled and decided that I shall play your masterly 
 ' Pratendenten ' Fantasia on Saturday, the 1st January, at the close of 
 the first part. 
 
 Besides that, there will also be Me*hul's ' Jagd ' Overture, Mendels- 
 
 * Fraulein Scheuten.
 
 STUTTGAET. 21 
 
 sohn's ' Meerestille'; Molique will play, and Jager, Lehr, and Demoiselle 
 Basse will sing. So I am delighted that your splendid Fantasia, which 
 I will take the utmost pains to play as little badly as ever I can, will 
 appear in pretty good company. Tomorrow I shall have a practice at 
 Schiedmayer's ... I shall omit my class ... I can choose what instru- 
 ment I like best, and shall, if possible, get the one on which Madame 
 Heinrich played at her matinee. I should be extremely indebted to you 
 if you could come there at any hour that suited you, and that you liked 
 to fix, to help me with your advice, which I trust absolutely. 
 
 Yours ever, 
 
 *GUIDO V. Bt)LOW. 
 
 Apropos, Lindpaintner prefers to call me Hans ! ! 
 
 * Billow's second Christian name, for which he sometimes showed a preference.
 
 LEIPZIG UNIVERSITY
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 LEIPZIG UNIVERSITY. 
 
 SPRING 1848 AUTDMN 1849. 
 
 IT was already intimated in the Introduction that the position young Billow 
 held towards the Frege family would need further explanation. Much that 
 there is of what is rough, passionate, and therefore one-sided in the following 
 account can neither be omitted from the picture nor left to stand by itself 
 alone. 
 
 A greater contrast in tradition, nature, education, and politics than existed 
 between Hans' father and the Frege family, it would be impossible to imagine. 
 The well-to-do patrician house in Leipzig, with its conservative religious and 
 political principles, and the poet, enthusiastic for " freedom and regeneration " 
 who, moreover, had not succeeded in providing an assured position for 
 himself and his these differing elements could never become mutually 
 sympathetic, and it was impossible entirely to abnegate the opposition to 
 Hans' father in intercourse with the son, which the latter felt bitterly, and fell 
 into prejudices on his side also. 
 
 But, quite apart from this point, there were such utter contrasts between 
 Hans and the Freges. On the one side, the two married couples : Kammer- 
 rath Frege and his wife he the head of a great banking house, a man of high 
 position both privately and publicly, and famous for his love of botany and 
 his magnificent hothouses ; she, a very tender mother who, having lost 
 several children in childhood, was absorbed with the health of those who 
 remained to her, including her nephew while he lived under her care ; the 
 younger couple, Woldemar and his wife he twenty years older than his 
 young cousin Hans, Professor of Law, religious, conservative, patrician ; she 
 the lively and talented musician both much taken up with the education of 
 their son Arnold, with the claims of society, and of a large circle of friends. 
 On the other side, the young relation entrusted to their care, endowed with a 
 strongly independent spirit, only kept under by a deep sense of duty, and a 
 tenderness and goodness of heart which made him, all his life long, feel any 
 dissonance or disagreement absolutely unendurable. 
 
 And then the years 1848-9 ! Could any period have been more trying for 
 men of such opposite feelings and temperament to have to come daily and 
 hourly into contact with one another, dwelling under the same roof, and 
 meeting at the same table ?
 
 26 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 Such was the position of things when young Biilow was an inmate of the 
 Freges' house. Yet it was no lack of goodwill or kindly feeling on their part, 
 but solely the force of circumstances of that excited time, and the radical 
 differences of character above described, that finally caused so much pain to 
 both sides. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 LEIPZIG, 2th June 1848. 
 
 DEAR MAMMA, 
 
 Please forgive me for not having written to you for so 
 long, but for some time I was unwell, and then I had a good deal to do ; 
 but the chief reason is that I did not want to bother you with complaints 
 until I had got somewhat accustomed to the life here. For, if I may 
 speak openly, I don't feel happy here. I daresay I had got a wrong idea 
 of the freedom which, as a student, I should enjoy ; no doubt that is it. 
 I don't mean to say that they are unfriendly to me, or treat me like a 
 child it is not that. But I can't do anything right, they find so much 
 fault with me. If a friend comes to see me, he does sometimes get a cup 
 of tea, certainly, but he is not allowed to smoke in my room. I myself 
 am not allowed to go out late in the evening, say half-past eight, to see 
 anything such as there is to see in a pretty lively town like this. Please 
 don't think that I am not trying to be agreeable to them all. I go in to 
 Aunt every morning, and am as friendly as I can be, but I don't know 
 what to talk about ; they don't have any sympathy with me. At table 
 politics are talked, but in a way which makes me turn dumb and give 
 all my attention to my plate, although I have very little appetite. 
 Visits, which are pretty seldom made, don't interest me in the very 
 least ; nor do I care much more for the singers who come to Livia from 
 time to time. I have been twice to the theatre. Except for that I 
 don't go out, so I live very quietly and receive very few callers, because 
 I can't do as I like in my own room. Late in the evening, that is to 
 say, after ten o'clock, I must not play the piano any more, which I 
 should often much like to do. I seldom make a joke ; I rather 
 acquiesce in that, and have become reserved from experience. I may 
 never say how I like this or that nothing to do with anyone in the 
 house, for I might be venturing on an opinion different from the 
 authorities that is the hardest of all. I am in a sort of middle 
 position. They don't say " You must not behave like that here," which 
 I should be only too glad if they would, for I want to give as little 
 offence as possible. But I am not on an equality with anybody. I am 
 supposed to consider everyone else as high above me, which forgive me
 
 LEIPZIG UNIVERSITY. 27 
 
 for such unpardonable arrogance I can't always do. But I would even 
 do that if they would leave me just a little bit of independence. This, 
 alas, only consists in my being able with due regard to the hours 
 to play the piano, read and write when I like, in my own room, where I 
 am fearfully plagued with flies, and where, even in the great heat, I 
 must open the windows, in order not to catch cold at night. But do 
 not misunderstand me, dear Mamma ; I think it is a good thing to go 
 through a sort of schooling like that, only I can't understand how 
 "Woldemar can call this year the happiest of my life, by praising up my 
 academical freedom, which consists in being able to miss any lectures I 
 like, if I am a careless fellow. I hope, before God, it is not to be my 
 happiest ! I will, I must, try to make myself more independent. I will 
 not do anything that can be blamed, but I must emancipate myself in 
 order to be happier. Otherwise I shall grow too bitter ; I am so 
 already, and suffer often from headache, which I don't let them 
 know. 
 
 Of the household I get along best with Friedrich, who is good 
 towards me, and little Arnold. My six songs, which I dedicated to 
 Livia, and which were really not bad, she has once hummed through ; 
 she found some pretty ideas in them, then she called me a crack-brained 
 fellow, then she found they were a wonderful mixture of Schumann, 
 Chopin, Db'hler, and so on. She apparently does not want to spoil me 
 by praise ; but she might, for instance, have shown them once to 
 Kapellmeister Rietz, for he might have given me some hints about them. 
 Woldemar did not like the songs at all, except one bit, which reminded 
 him of Weber that was very flattering to me ; but Livia could have 
 sung the songs beautifully if she would have done. 
 
 Under these circumstances, a letter from Hitter to me is very 
 refreshing he loves me truly as a kindred spirit. Thode is also a really 
 good fellow. He gets my compositions and then plays them to me, and 
 I am delighted when, after he has studied them for some time, he finds 
 out what is tolerably good in them he shows me, by this interest, 
 that he feels a friendship for me ; I know how to discriminate between 
 this and flattery or depreciation. I occasionally read French and German 
 books with him. His pronunciation of the former is not at all bad. 
 
 Pray forgive me that I have destroyed, by these foolish outpourings, 
 your expectations of a sensible letter, but you wished me to be quite 
 open, and that I have been. But please don't mention a word of it to 
 my Aunt. I have everything I require am even much better fed than 
 is necessary so there is every reason to be satisfied. And my indiscre- 
 tion was probably that, owing to the heat, I have had my hair cut a la 
 mecontent. For the rest I am free according to my title of Student
 
 28 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 a good step above the Gymnasiast (schoolboy), and I have, at any rate, 
 a certain independence, and can think what I like. 
 
 I will make myself as freely happy as I can : if that is not 
 possible, then I must drag along as well as I can ; Woldemar found 
 things much worse in his student days. 
 
 Now I will continue in a more reasonable strain. 
 
 I shall not want so much money in future ; this time I had to get 
 several necessary books, student's portfolio, inkstand, etc., in which 
 Woldemar, and especially Friedrich, helped me much. With my washing 
 I am not extravagant, and I always write out two bills in an orderly 
 manner; in fact I keep everything in order. I go to bed at ten to half- 
 past, and get up at half-past five. The lectures I am attending are 
 Psychology and Logic from Weisse, every day from seven to eight, (very 
 clever lectures, sometimes rather obscure, but he dictates a great deal, so 
 that one can think it over afterwards at home). And it is very nice 
 that he gives his lecture so early, because then one is obliged to get up 
 early. Four times a week Wachsmuth reads Universal History from 
 eight to nine, which is rather interesting and useful. W. is no very 
 great man, but he knows how to make his lectures very interesting, 
 especially by quoting the sources of his information. Twice a week 
 Haupt reads, from ten to eleven, Tacitus' ' Germania,' which is of much 
 interest both grammatically and historically. He is also, in my opinion, 
 the best speaker, as he always speaks in an equal tone and never 
 interrupts himself. 
 
 Hermann I hear four times, from eleven to twelve. His lectures are 
 intended specially for philologists, but they are also useful to me, and it 
 is interesting to see again this celebrated old man, who comes into the 
 room every time rattling his spurs with such an energetic step. Fechner 
 lectures on Wednesdays and Saturdays, from three to four, on the Last 
 Judgment. His audience diminishes every time first there were 
 fifteen, then eight, now five. He is a profound thinker, and I enjoy 
 listening to him very much. He tells us how many of the teachings of 
 Christianity are not fulfilled, and the extent to which one may use one's 
 own reason in judging of them. (Original sin, freedom of will, God's 
 everlasting decrees, etc.) First of all he occupied himself with philoso- 
 phical premonitions about Idealism and Materialism, and began by placing 
 before us an interposed doctrine of these two extremes. 
 
 Flathe's lectures on Shakespeare's Tragedies, twice a week, from 
 four to five, are very popular. At the first two lectures there 
 were 1 20 students (the doors were left open) ; many of them had 
 to stand, as they could not get into the room. As yet he has been 
 speaking in general terms about ideas of art, and making aesthetic
 
 LEIPZIG UNIVERSITY. 29 
 
 preambles ; his delivery is too declamatory to be a standard one, but he 
 often makes very witty, striking points. Papa repudiates him, but I 
 listen to him nevertheless. That makes twenty lessons in the week. I 
 wanted to go twice a week to hear Rathgeber's lectures on the Rudiments 
 of the Italian Language, but Papa won't have it, and so I have left that. 
 
 The attending of the lectures fits in very well with the rest of my 
 time. I always do my piano practice from nine to eleven or from eight 
 to ten, and sometimes go then to H artel, and I also have the afternoons 
 to myself for composing and other work. 
 
 I am very much pleased with the piano I have hired. It has quite 
 a fair tone, and keeps in very good tune ; I also often play on Livia's 
 she wishes me to do so very much, as her piano has not yet been half 
 enough played upon, and is very unequal ; for otherwise, as you may well 
 imagine, I would not do so. The Chopin Fantasia did not please Livia. 
 I play Studies and Nocturnes of Chopin, some new ' bad ' pieces by 
 Kullak, Heller, a new Fantasia of Thalberg, Sonatas of Beethoven. 
 Raff's things I cannot play to anybody ; firstly, I never do play to any- 
 body, for which I am very sorry, as I might again inure myself to my 
 nervousness, and, secondly, Livia thinks some of them very bad. 
 
 I have not seen Ascher for five weeks. I play Moscheles' ' Capric- 
 cios' ; firstly because they are such good practice, secondly because they 
 are so suitable for playing to anybody, and thirdly because through 
 Ascher's playing I have learnt somewhat how Moscheles wants them 
 played, and because they are more attractive to me, as being something 
 new, than the somewhat trite Studies. 
 
 He has now been a week in Dresden, so it is only now that I can 
 go to him. 
 
 Hauptmann has been ill the whole time with cold and fever, and 
 has given no lessons at all, but hopes to be able to begin next week. I 
 have really often inquired after him, but Papa seems to lay the fault of 
 my not having yet begun my lessons with him onto my negligence. I 
 must confess that I should be very glad if I had a little more encourage- 
 ment in my piano playing. It is not that I am lazy ; but, after all, one 
 does not play merely for one's piano. It need be merely a hint of 
 encouragement, but another kind than what I can give to myself. 
 Today I am not very well again, with some giddiness and headache. 
 
 The theatre affair is very unpleasant to me, because it is to you. 
 But I did, truly, not behave in the very least improperly in the pit. 
 Besides, I was always with the Ritters, and they must surely know 
 something. In the ' Prinz Eugen ' I hissed, like the Ritters, as people 
 applauded, and that everybody does ; that is no ' stupid prank.' The 
 people who sit in the best places do that ; of course not the ladies.
 
 30 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 Otherwise I am not conscious of having done anything out of the way, 
 beyond having clapped the Valentine very loudly ! For the rest, as you 
 are vexed I beg to be forgiven. 
 
 I saw here a most wretched performance of ' Robert,' especially by 
 the orchestra. The tempi too were much too fast ; except Wagner, I 
 don't know any conductor who does not commit this fault. (Berlioz relates 
 that Mendelssohn did it too.) ... I beg you earnestly, dear Mamma, 
 to write me word fully what Wagner lately inserted in the Anzeiger ; 
 Hitter gave me only very short, clever hints of it. He sent me an 
 article for the musical Signals, which was very well written. It was 
 a refutation of the thesis that ' the present time is unfavourable to art.' 
 But it is sure not to be accepted. A performance of Hamlet enchnnted 
 me. It was the greatest pleasure I have had yet, except the Ninth 
 Symphony, at a concert of which I have not yet told you. I got a 
 relapse of my headache and fever at it. 
 
 The concert was very full. 824 tickets were sold, and 632 thalers 
 taken. Many people had paid a louis d'or for one or two tickets. 
 Uncle had defrayed the expenses, 175 thalers, out of his own 
 pocket. It was very good of him, and it gave universal satis- 
 faction. The concert opened with an Overture of Gade's, ' Im 
 Hochland,' which was really very charming, fresh, and original (with 
 occasional reminiscences of Mendelssohn), and was very well played. 
 An Aria from Figaro was well sung by Frl. Schwarzbach. David 
 played some bad variations of his own very cleverly. The sextet from 
 Don Juan was beautifully played. Livia had a reception on making 
 her appearance. Moscheles played a very beautiful Rondo of Mendels- 
 sohn's with orchestra very delicately, but I think I have played it much 
 more in the spirit of the composer. This commonplace really astounded 
 me; I exclaimed, ' Extraordinary ! also a Jew and a musician, and yet so 
 little kinship ! ' Livia sang two songs by Rietz, which are very pretty 
 and made a perfect furore. They encored the second ; she did not 
 understand, and thought the applause was for Rietz. A little song of 
 Mendelssohn, with which she concluded, was not at all suited to the 
 concert, and made but little effect. If she had only followed my advice ! 
 for my choice was in every way better but at last, from diffidence, 
 I said nothing more. The Ninth Symphony went very well I was 
 absolutely and entirely in heaven. Rietz conducted in a praiseworthy 
 manner, as well as he could. The ladies' parts were much better 
 done than in Dresden, the rest not so good. I will write again to you 
 very soon. 
 
 This morning, Midsummer Day, I heard Howard, who otherwise 
 always preached at the same time as Harless. He is not so popular, not
 
 LEIPZIG UNIVERSITY. 31 
 
 so strikingly powerful as Harless ; but he has profound and beautiful 
 thoughts, only he speaks excessively slowly. . . . 
 
 P.S. I am feeling somewhat more softened again, for Livia sang 
 my songs again yesterday, and said many kind things about them. 
 
 Writing to his mother on the 4th December 1848, he says : 
 
 I heard Cherubim's 'Requiem' lately in the Church (at B.'s 
 funeral). It is a magnificent, grand, and yet clear, sacred composition, 
 and wonderfully beautiful. And what I did not venture at first, out of 
 diffidence, to assert namely that, as a whole, it is much grander than 
 Mozart's I now don't hesitate to affirm, seeing that Franz and 
 Hauptmann say the same two such diverse musical characters, and yet 
 both of them authorities. 
 
 The civil disturbances in Germany during those stormy times were not 
 without their influence on young Billow's life in Leipzig. And then came 
 those terrible May-days in Dresden, which affected him powerfully, both on 
 their own account and on account of his parents and friends there. The 
 members of the Frege family naturally felt annoyed at what they considered 
 Billow's want of sympathy in their anxieties and views, and even expressed 
 a suspicion that he was following these events with joy, and that he was 
 connected with the democrats. But, whatever inconsiderate and hasty words 
 may have been spoken on bth sides, nothing more keenly touched Billow's 
 consciousness of his own loyalty than to perceive that it was called in question. 
 The following letter betrays in every word the painful state of overwrought 
 excitement under which he was labouring : 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER (Fragment). 
 
 [LEIPZIG, 7th May 1849.] 
 
 There are things I wanted to keep silence about, but it is impossible 
 I must come out with it : I cannot stand being in this house any 
 longer, for I am a man, and not a machine. Every hour here is torture 
 to me. The plainly-outspoken contempt, and even suspicion, latterly, 
 is perfectly unendurable. Day and night there is the greatest excite- 
 ment here, and noise everywhere ; and yesterday it was carried to such 
 an excess that there were eight killed and several wounded. Now that 
 they know my opinions they dare to implicate me in it all. I must 
 know everything. If I can't appear sufficiently gloomy and serious, then 
 they mistrust me in the most marked manner, and they beg Uncle to take 
 care what he says before me, because I should pass it on to the democrats ! 
 Could anything be worse ? . . . I implore you, write to Aunt, or, better 
 still, send me somewhere else ; dry bread would be preferable. I mean
 
 32 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 it ! I don't know whether, in this fearful state of things, this letter will 
 ever reach you, but I write to you all the same; perhaps also there 
 might be a possibility of things soon taking a turn, or coming to an end 
 of some sort. . . . Studying and practising are just now absolutely 
 impossible to me. I wish I were not a man, but a poor, unreasoning 
 brute, that I might not feel the sensations I do. How happy among our 
 comrades is he who was yesterday struck down by a cannon-ball in 
 Dresden ! ... If only you in Dresden are not suffering ! I am so 
 anxious about you, although you are pretty far away from the scene 
 of action. If only I could come to you, to hear a few friendly, tolerant 
 words ! If only Wagner does not get shot ! 
 
 Beautiful Dresden ! To think that so lately I was glorying in the 
 many art-works in her picture-galleries, and that only a few weeks ago 
 I was hearing the grandest of all music in her opera-house ! And now 
 the one is given up to the flames, and the other is the scene of the most 
 horrible murder ! Heaven grant that the seed sown in blood may 
 blossom into something beautiful, everlasting, and divine. . . . 
 
 To this letter, written under the strain of unnatural excitement, he added 
 another very shortly afterwards, in a calmer frame of mind, in which it 
 appeared that the proclamation of martial law having quieted down th 
 overwrought feelings on both sides, he would be glad to remain on until 
 Michaelmas under his Uncle's roof : 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 WEIMAR, 2nd June 1849. 
 
 DEAR MAMMA, 
 
 Thank you for your last letter and the two letters of 
 introduction. Please give my thanks to the lady who gave them for me, 
 as they have been a pleasure to me. I am writing to you in a great 
 hurry, for reasons which I will explain to you presently. I shall send 
 you, later on, a sort of diary of my doings here, by which you will be 
 able to see more particularly how very useful this stay is to me in many 
 ways, and how I am right in begging you to give me the means to 
 prolong it still a little more. Liszt answered very kindly last Monday 
 that he would do everything he could to make my stay here interesting 
 to me. I forthwith went on Monday at mid-day to Halle, and stayed 
 there till Tuesday. 
 
 After some futile attempts, I met Liszt at one o'clock (Wednesday). 
 He had to go to the Grand-Ducal dinner, but we had an hour's talk 
 together on various subjects Raff, Wagner, who, Liszt hopes, is in
 
 LEIPZIG UNIVERSITY. 33 
 
 Paris. In the afternoon he appointed me to meet him at half-past four 
 at the Altenburg, the abode of the Princess Wittgenstein, where Liszt 
 is also accustomed to spend the whole day. There I met a pupil of his 
 (sixteen years old), young Winterberger,* a very talented fellow. Liszt 
 was with us both till nine o'clock. I played the Schumann song to him, 
 and he was pleased with my manner of playing, although I had not got 
 his conception of the piece. It was also very interesting to me to see 
 how he let his pupil play Beethoven's E flat Concerto ; and his splendid 
 hints with regard to the conception of it, even in the apparently most 
 trifling matters, are of great use to me, He played some things for four 
 hands with me, then some new compositions, amongst others the 
 paraphrase of Wolfram's song ; finally, he took a long walk with us in 
 the castle garden. It would take too long to tell you all the details 
 here. On the same afternoon he received also a most sensible, excellent 
 letter of apology from Raff. On Thursday he dined with me at the 
 Russischer Hof, where I am stopping. He came with the most notable 
 artists and singers, who all adore him, and whom he treats with 
 unspeakable kindness. He is a quite perfect man. Today I was at 
 Stor's,t the leading violinist, who has also done something as a composer 
 there was no end to his praise. Liszt's playing, and his whole 
 personality, have completely enchanted and inspired me ; all the brilliant 
 gifts of former days he still possesses in the fullest measure, but a more 
 manly repose, an all-round solidity, complete his truly exalted character. 
 
 Early yesterday I was with him at the rehearsal of ' Fidelio.' I 
 was perfectly carried away by his conducting admirable, astounding ! 
 In the evening he played Trios at the Altenburg. We were again 
 with him from seven to eleven. Tomorrow he is going to have my 
 Quartet played. He has placed his room, piano, and musical library at 
 my disposal every morning ; naturally I have frequently availed myself 
 of the permission. 
 
 In short, I myself know best of what use it is to me to see, to talk 
 with, and to hear Liszt. I who before the Whitsuntide days was 
 bitterness personified, and thought of nothing but revolutionary terror- 
 ism in spe cannot now even read a paper, think no longer of politics, 
 but am able again to enjoy life ; and the intercourse with some first- 
 rate and real artists, the chief representatives of their art an inter- 
 course which I have had to do without for so long does me 
 indescribable good. 
 
 * Alexander Winterberger (1834), organist and pianist, a pupil first of the 
 Leipzig Conservatoire, and then of Liszt. 
 
 t Karl Stor (1814-89), later on conductor at Weimar. 
 
 C
 
 34 HANS VON BtiLOW. 
 
 So I beg you most earnestly to let me stay on till Wednesday, and 
 for this to send me as soon as possible three reichsthaler more I can 
 spend it out of my own money-box for I cannot use the money in a 
 better way than this. I have pretty confident hopes that you will fulfil 
 this wish, because I shall wait for your answer, and thus I must overstep 
 the proposed time of my stay here. I am really not wasting my money, 
 as you will perhaps see from the accompanying paper of accounts. 
 
 Yesterday I dined at Herr v. Schwendler's,* today I go to Prau 
 v. Pogwisch,t in the evening is ' Fidelio,' and after the opera Liszt will 
 come to the hotel. As I heard today from Liszt's own particular 
 famulus (Stor, the first violinist), I may also be of some little use to 
 him, but of this more anon. 
 
 " I also brought some of my songs with me, and it is quite easy for 
 me to get them sung by artists here, as, owing to Liszt's extreme kind- 
 ness to me, I have already got quite a good position among them. 
 
 In a long letter to his mother from Leipzig on the 21st June 1849, he writes 
 as follows : 
 
 Thank you again a thousand times for having allowed me to stay a 
 few days longer in Weimar ; I think the visit has done me good both 
 musically and in other respects. 
 
 Liszt sent me a short time ago, through Kistner, his newest work, 
 three great Studies; I wrote to him lately, after I had executed his 
 commissions, and I hope I may perhaps get an answer from him soon, 
 giving me R. W.'s address. 
 
 I believe I have already told you that he had my Quartet played 
 twice at his house. The first time it was done he was prevented from 
 hearing it, by a sudden, long call from the theatre Intendant ; I was, 
 however, very glad of this, as it was played in an excruciating manner, 
 whereas the second time it went quite nicely, including the Scherzo 
 (some of the musicians having looked over their parts at home). Liszt 
 said several times, ' Very nice,' ' Very pretty,' but also ' Very difficult.' I 
 begged him to allow me to send him later on my Overture, at which I 
 am now working steadily, a permission which he very kindly granted. 
 Liszt gave us an immense pleasure that same day (Tuesday) by his per- 
 formance of the 'Tannhauser ' Overture, which he has paraphrased in a 
 most wonderful manner and with the greatest assiduity (he made three 
 
 * Herr v. Schwendler, a State official of high standing in the Weitnar and 
 Coburg service. 
 
 t Henrietta von Pogwisch, one of the ladies of honour to the Grand Duchess 
 Luise of Saxe-Weimar, and mother of Ottilie von Goethe.
 
 LEIPZIG UNIVERSITY. 35 
 
 different arrangements of it) ; he has managed to give the effects in such 
 a wonderful manner on the piano, as no other pianist, I am sure, will 
 ever be able to do. In all probability he will publish this arrangement, 
 as well as the transcription of Wolfram's song. The latter is not particu- 
 larly difficult ; and the former does not look so very awful on paper, yet 
 the playing of it was such a strain upon him that he was obliged 
 to stop for a moment once near the end, and he very seldom plays it 
 because it exhausts him too much, so that he said to me afterwards, 
 ' You can write down today in your diary that I have played the 
 " Tannhauser " Overture to you.' 
 
 I had read the Journal des debats of the 16th (?) May a month 
 ago, but thank you for telling me about it. I strongly advise you to get 
 Liszt's article in the feuilleton, not necessarily to get a ' sympathy ' for 
 ' Tannhauser,' but simply because the article is written in a perfectly 
 masterly, superb manner. Liszt reproduces the contents of the opera 
 almost in Wagner's own words, in a way that one would have hardly 
 thought it possible to render German poetry into French, and I hope it 
 will have done Wagner much good, although, as Liszt himself avows, it is 
 impossible to give ' Tannhauser ' with any success on a French stage. . . . 
 
 After frequently hearing Liszt, I have now made a special study of 
 what was particularly defective in my piano-playing, namely, a certain 
 amateurish uncertainty, a certain angular want of freedom in conception, 
 of which I must completely cure myself ; in modern pieces especially I 
 must cultivate more abandon, and, when I have conquered the technical 
 difficulties of a piece, I must let myself go more, according to how I feel 
 at the moment ; and, if one is not devoid of talent, of course anything 
 absurd or unsuitable does not come into one's mind. Please give me 
 your opinion fully on this point, and tell me what struck you formerly 
 as faulty or ugly in my playing, for I want to perfect myself as far as 
 ever I can ; and with the idea that I shall sometime give lessons I have 
 always tried to become more confident, and it is not at all improbable 
 that it may yet come to that. 
 
 According to what Liszt tells me, there is really a foundation for 
 the report that he has begun some big works, and that several piano 
 Concertos with orchestral accompaniment are lying completed in his desk, 
 with which he means to ' pay off some of his debts,' and an Italian opera, 
 ' Sardanapalus ' (after Byron's) is far on towards completion. These are 
 secrets at present, which he does not want all the world to know. 
 
 He usually worked at the Altenburg in the mornings, so that I 
 seldom saw him at that time, but in the afternoons and evenings I was 
 almost always with him. His talk was always intensely interesting, and 
 he hardly ever said an insignificant thing. He spoke French by preference,
 
 36 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 and even when he talked in German he constantly interpolated not 
 merely words, but whole phrases in French. . . . 
 
 Writing from Leipzig again on the 2nd August 1849, lie says to his 
 mother : 
 
 Quite by chance I met Litolff. I was feeling very hungry one day 
 between two of my lectures, and went into a baker's in Peters-strasse. 
 Suddenly, as I was turning a corner, I saw a well-known figure standing 
 before a picture-shop ; I fixed my eyes on him, hesitated a moment, and 
 then was so struck with the resemblance that I went up to him; it was 
 really Litolff, and he knew me directly too. Litolff looked so very much 
 better that this explained my doubts as to his identity ; except for the 
 unavoidable nervous twitching of his face, which affects strangers so un- 
 pleasantly, he is much quieter, and has become much stronger and 
 healthier ; but unfortunately, as I found from his conversation, as he has 
 got stronger bodily he has grown weaker as regards the productiveness of 
 his brain. In order to excite his brain sufficiently seems, or seemed, to 
 require such an excited life, such a deranged health : now he has already 
 settled down into the Philistine repose of a good humdrum citizen ; may 
 the Fates preserve him from sinking into this and nothing more ! 
 
 A German genius I cannot ' include Mozart in the category of 
 German geniuses can perfectly well fulfil his calling apart from the 
 outer world, in the quiet peace of his own family, and among the homely 
 concerns of everyday life indeed he is even at his best thus ; but a non- 
 German, a Frenchman, or a Pole, or indeed any foreigner of talent or 
 genius, such as Litolff, cannot do this. He requires the perpetual alter- 
 nation of joy and grief, he requires 'great passions,' in a word, the 
 great outside world. Such a man as Litolff will occasionally be inert, 
 perhaps sink into the mud for a moment, but will then arise and create 
 anew, with superhuman, demoniacal power and perseverance, something 
 very great, although to a certain extent imperfect, if looked into very 
 closely. Such a life as this is, in my opinion, the most natural for 
 Litolff.
 
 BERLIN UNIVERSITY
 
 CHAPTEE IV. 
 
 BERLIN UNIVERSITY. 
 
 AUTUMN 1849 SUMMER 1850. 
 
 IN the autumn of 1849 the divorce of Hans' parents took place. In the same 
 year Eduard married Louise von Billow, daughter of Count von Biilow- 
 Dennewitz, the Prussian Field-Marshal, who attained celebrity in the war for 
 freedom. She was a charming creature, highly cultivated and witty, enthusi- 
 astic, and full of goodness and kindness of heart, which was always shown in 
 an equal measure towards Eduard's two children by his first marriage. 
 
 The pair went to Switzerland, and bought the beautiful castle of Otlis- 
 hausen in Canton Thurgau, intending to make that their permanent home. 
 
 In the late autumn Franziska went to Berlin with Hans and Isa, for the 
 sake of the former, who was there to continue his University studies. 
 Eduard's cousins, Ernst and Paul von Billow, the former of whom was in the 
 Prussian State service, and the latter in the army, together with a few 
 acquaintances of Franziska's among the literary people of the Berlin of those 
 days, formed the pleasant circle into which the new-comers stepped. Frau- 
 lein Henriette Solmar, a well-known personality in the Varnhagen circle, 
 wrote to Eduard in the most friendly terms about Hans, and Varnhagen him- 
 self took a deep interest in the young man, an interest which he maintained 
 in later years. 
 
 It was in this winter (1849) that Hans? journalistic-literary work began. In 
 the autumn he obtained the post of musical reporter to the Abendpost, a 
 democratic paper of the day.* He was also occasional correspondent to other 
 papers, not in Berlin. He was studying music at this time without any prac- 
 tical or theoretical help, but with the greatest zeal. 
 
 In the spring of 1850 Franziska and her daughter Isa left Berlin and 
 returned to Dresden, Hans going with them for the Easter holidays, after 
 which he returned to Berlin to continue his studies, accompanied this time 
 only by his faithful companion of many years his dog Wach. 
 
 From Berlin, writing to his mother on the 6th July 1850, he says : 
 
 I am giving lessons in harmony to another student I don't have 
 
 * Some of these writings, partly critical, partly polemical, will appear in a separ- 
 ate volume.
 
 40 HANS VON BtiLOW. 
 
 anything to do with swaggerers and ranters and scandal-mongers and 
 he gives me lessons in English in return ; I am reading the ' Vicar of 
 Wakefield,' which I can understand quite well without any help except 
 from the dictionary. 
 
 And on the 4th August he writes as follows (also to his mother) : 
 
 For Griepenkerl's * poor tragedy 'Robespierre' Litolff has written 
 an Overture, which has met with the most universal, undivided praise. 
 I ordered it for myself, and, if not exactly a classical Beethoven Overture 
 a la Egmont, it is nevertheless a very talented piece of music, with 
 undeniable flashes of genius, and, so far as I can gather from the 
 instrumentation, full of interesting effects ; and moreover there is a 
 unity about the whole, which is all the more surprising to me as he is 
 otherwise rather split up and piece-meal in his writing. The principal 
 subjects are the very ones which he had formerly fixed upon for 
 Catherine Howard in the Overture. When I went to see Geyer lately 
 he gave me a new Trio by Litolff to take home with me (the second 
 Trio, just out), and I confess I have truly rejoiced over LitolfFs progress 
 and the quickness of his power of production. There is a wealth of 
 genius and ideas in it, and some things are of an excellence which is 
 rare nowadays. It is rhythmically and melodically original without 
 oddity ; almost everything sounds well ; there is freshness and life 
 throughout ; a specially beautiful Andante, and a Finale overflowing 
 with humour. Geyer had begged me to review it for him, which I have 
 done, and, though I praised it most tremendously (and the Leipzig 
 Signale wrote in even far more favourable terms of it), that dry old 
 fellow did not agree with what was said, because Litolff had violated 
 what he considers the inflexible, sacred, unimpeachable old Trio-form. 
 But Litolff has kept as strictly as possible to the old forms, only not 
 pedantically ; the last movement especially he has carried out further, 
 and in a very happy manner. For it is a very bad habit, and in the 
 highest sense a want of form, that composers always lay out their Finale 
 on as large a scale as the first movement, and if possible spin it out even 
 longer. The hearer cannot stand it, as this repetition grows wearisome ; 
 and on the other hand there seems very little justification in a fourth 
 movement at all, if the form of it is not new, but just a reproduction of 
 the introduction, and only individual owing to its being of a lighter 
 character, in place of the more heavy earnestness. The Rondo-form, in 
 such a manner, is old-fashioned and insupportable. L. has taken the 
 
 * Wolfgang Robert Griepenkerl (1810-68), Professor of the History of Art at 
 the ' Carolinum ' in Brunswick ; in his writings a partisan of musical progress.
 
 BERLIN UNIVEHSITY. 41 
 
 right road ; he has ' hit the nail on the head,' as papa would say, 
 whether by instinct or in conscious imitation of the Finale of many a 
 Beethoven Symphony. In the first movement and the Andante the 
 composer must give himself over to the purest subjectivity: the last 
 movement, and perhaps also the Scherzo, must be treated as objective, so 
 that the hearer may be satisfied in recognising the necessity for a 
 conclusion ; in order that the objectivity may not be insipid for 
 musicians and music-lovers do not require an insipid objectivity, like 
 Hofrath Carus, & Co. the composer has carte blanche to introduce here 
 a piquant, a capriccioso element. And this is what Litolffhas done. And 
 then a Flodoard Geyer puffs himself up and cries, ' The critic must be 
 the guardian of the sacredness of form,' etc. All the same, I hope my 
 criticism will be printed in the musical paper here, and, if it is, I shall 
 write to Litolff so as to bring myself into connection with him again if 
 possible. I must say I long to see the dear man again, and if it were 
 not for Weimar I should like to go to Brunswick. 
 
 Forgive my tremendous garrulity ; ' I'objet m'a emporte malgre 
 moi.' 
 
 I have been living rather a dull life here lately, but now I mean to 
 go in for a little amusement, especially by going to the theatre. When 
 the opera reopens after the holidays they are going to give ' Cosi 
 fan tutte,' which I am very anxious to see. And then Eachel is here, 
 and was lately playing Camilla in ' Horace,' and also playing in ' Andro- 
 mache.' Everybody is in raptures, or pretends to be, as that is the correct 
 thing. There is no doubt that she is something very extraordinary and 
 specially gifted, and, according to her portrait, she looks very interesting. 
 I intend to see her in her next part, Phaedra, which is said to be one of 
 her best. I don't think one ought to put off a thing like that, for it is 
 not probable that she will revisit Germany very soon, and who knows 
 when I may get to Paris, apart from all other eventualities ? 
 
 I lately made a call on the Court preacher Strauss, to whom Herr 
 v. Gall had as good as introduced me (though not in person), and about a 
 week afterwards I was invited to an evening party there. The family, 
 in addition to his kind and courteous wife, consists of two sons, who are 
 also clergymen, and the younger of whom is musical (church music). 
 The company was not particularly interesting or attractive, but there 
 were a good many young people there, and, apart from a very nice 
 supper in pretty rooms, I was most kindly treated, and, after I had 
 played, I received tremendous attention. For I really had played pretty 
 well and with great ease, as I had had a little wine at supper, and then 
 one plays one's best and surest. I had played the Prophete Fantaisie 
 (No. 1), and had petrified everybody. A clergyman I don't know who
 
 42 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 it was compared me with the ' Edel von Hornau,' with this difference, 
 that he could only boast of one thing, whereas I knew much more and 
 was more daring. Then some of the ladies begged for something ' soft,' 
 and I played them, con molto sentimento, a transcription of Kullak's on 
 an air from ' Norma,' which is very pretty and effectively arranged, and 
 which gained me the reputation of ' many-sidedness.' . . . 
 
 Billow persuaded his mother to accompany him to the Herder Festival 
 at Weimar at the latter end of August. After a short stay there, which she 
 appears thoroughly to have enjoyed, Franziska wrote to her daughter : 
 ' After the Festival came Liszt ; he pressed my hand, and thanked me 
 that we had both come, adding, as he kissed Hans in farewell, " Je suis tres 
 attache a ce gargon." '
 
 SWITZERLAND
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 SWITZERLAND. 
 
 AUTUMN 1850 SUMMER 1851. 
 
 THE turning-point in Hans von Billow's career was now at hand. On the 
 10th September (1850) he arrived at Otlishausen on a visit to his father, and 
 to see his sister Isa, who was also there on a short visit. 
 
 In spite of the inward agitation through which he was passing, he appears 
 to have shown a calm exterior, and to have evinced a self-.command which, on 
 all the really great occasions of his life, never failed him. 
 
 His step-mother, speaking of those days, says : " Hans appeared in good 
 spirits, and was constantly talking ; we often went walks in the beautiful 
 neighbourhood. . . . But the pleasant time in Otlishausen did not last long. 
 One morning Hans had vanished. He was absent from breakfast, dinner, and 
 supper. All inquiries were unsuccessful. Billow soon said, ' Hans is gone to 
 Wagner at Zurich.' I could not but think the same thing. Bulow took the post 
 at the next station, Rorschach, for the railway in that part was not yet 
 finished, and went to Zurich- The next day he came back, very much upset 
 and excited. Hans had fallen at his father's feet, and implored him to let him 
 become a musician. His father had then yielded, on condition that his 
 mother agreed to it. I did my best to calm Bulow, and my endeavours were 
 not without result. By degrees he became more composed about his son's 
 bold and hasty resolve but Hans would have to come to an understanding 
 with his mother himself." 
 
 Before taking the decisive step Hans had made the attempt with his 
 mother in the following letter : 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 OTLISHAUSEN, 16th September 1850. 
 
 . . . Now as to my affairs. And, please, hear me patiently to the 
 end. 1^ might have gone to work a roundabout way, and prepared you 
 little by little, but I prefer to go direct to the point.
 
 46 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 Kapellmeister Wagner proposed to me some days ago that I should 
 make practical studies under his direction in Zurich next winter, and 
 conduct the opera there in turns with Ritter, for which I should then 
 draw half of the salary. In the larger concerts, in which Wagner would 
 himself conduct the Beethoven Symphonies, I might come forward as a 
 pianist, and thus become known, and be enabled, by giving lessons, to 
 keep myself. This is at least a proposal worth consideration ; an 
 opportunity which, for anyone who wants to embrace a musical career, 
 would be joyfully seized upon by any young artist ; an opportunity 
 which will not soon offer again, and certainly not in a better or more 
 attractive guise. It is a great question whether Wagner will still be in 
 Zurich during the winter of 1851-2. 
 
 Now, I implore you most earnestly, listen to the result of my 
 reflections, made after the first excitement was overcome, and thought 
 out in wakeful nights. The question of my future career presses for 
 a speedy and definite solution. I have passed my twentieth year, and 
 have had no clear, definite aim before my eyes as yet. The last half- 
 year in Berlin found me more than ever occupied with thoughts of my 
 future, and, from some remarks in conversation which we had when we 
 were last together, you will remember that the wishes were not newly 
 formed by the sudden event (falling, as it were, from the clouds) of 
 Wagner's proposal, but that they were simply formed into clearer and 
 more distinct expression. 
 
 In all the conversations which we have had together over my 
 career since that time you have said most distinctly that you would not 
 place any obstacle in the way of my free choice, but only your advice ; 
 that you would never employ compulsion ; that I might have complete 
 conBdence in you ; and that you would let me be happy in my own way. 
 We then agreed that I should study Jurisprudence (as one of the most 
 general branches of the profession) as far as was necessary to pass an 
 examination, so as to keep all roads open to me. I yielded the question, 
 seeing the good sense of your advice, and that you wished to protect 
 yourself against all responsibility, and to have done all that lay in your 
 power to give me the previous preparation, by the help of which I should 
 be enabled to choose, among a number of similar careers, the branch 
 which I should prefer to pursue. I promised you that I would study 
 Jurisprudence, and still intend to keep my promise, and do not ask you 
 in the least to release me from it. But I can no longer conceal from you 
 that I am too much wanting both in talent and inclination, and love of 
 such a profession, ever to be a good lawyer or an erudite man. It is 
 absolutely impossible for me to devote myself to the Government service; 
 I am too little adapted to this to me indescribably hateful profession,
 
 SWITZERLAND. 47 
 
 especially under present circumstances. My views and they are not of 
 a superficial nature I cannot sacrifice for the love of you. I cannot 
 stifle or tear myself away from the principles which are a part of myself, 
 nor can I strip off my ideas of honour to accommodate circumstances. 
 I would rather not live at all than have to serve in a German State in 
 Prussia. All I can do is to sacrifice and renounce myself in so far that 
 I will take no active part in the work of demolition of the old order of 
 things, and that I will keep my opinions to myself. The more I should 
 have to occupy myself with political matters an integral part of Juris- 
 prudence the stronger would be every temptation, the harder every 
 conquest of self. What is there left ? To be an advocate in the old 
 sense and that is something extremely disagreeable 1 am neither sharp 
 nor shrewd enough ; to be one in the modern sense to become a 
 barrister I am wanting in oratorical talent, the outward means which 
 insure success. I have only this alternative : either I must embrace a 
 juridical-political career, which could then be only that of a Revolution- 
 ary ; or a musical career, where the danger is rather that of becoming an 
 aristocrat, and in which I can so steep myself that I should cry ' apage ' 
 to political strife and discussion. 
 
 I feel the inclination to both these careers within me, but the 
 weight of the scales turns in favour of the latter. It is nobler, more 
 beautiful, purer, and appeals to me incomparably more, apart from any 
 confidence in my own powers. 
 
 Unfortunately music was for a long time placed by me in the 
 background. That time is now past. The movements of the Revolu- 
 tion years, the contagion of the excitement these outward causes, 
 which I truly cannot help, brought out all the violent fanaticism, the 
 feverish madness, before which all my youthful enthusiasm for freedom 
 and the like had vanished. That time is, thank God, now over. The 
 reading of the papers has lost its charm for me ; I can do without know- 
 ing about things, and if I am left in peace I can keep myself quiet. 
 Just in an equal degree has my love for music again obtained the 
 ascendancy. The musical life in Zurich next winter would foster this 
 love in the best and richest manner. To be able to write for orchestra, 
 to have the opportunity of having what I write at once performed, and 
 of thus studying instrumentation I cannot imagine anything more 
 delightful and more attractive. To play Beethoven's Pianoforte 
 Concerti in concerts with orchestral accompaniment, to make my first 
 essays in conducting under "Wagner's direction what could there be 
 that would more spur a man on to activity and industry ] And I need 
 not on that account give up the law studies, and, should it come to pass, 
 I firmly intend not to give them up ; I could thoroughly go over all
 
 48 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 that I have hitherto learnt, and fix it more clearly and firmly in my 
 head; if necessary I could also attend some courses at the University 
 there, which is not at all a bad one, and at which, for example, Keller 
 and Bluntschli have taught for a long time. In the summer I could 
 then go either to Bonn or to Berlin, and carry on my juridical studies to 
 their completion, that is to say, till they were brought to an end by the 
 first examination. The winter half-year in Zurich might be considered 
 as a test the best for me ; I would make music the principal subject, 
 and see to what results I could bring it. 
 
 Weimar would be preferable to me, on account of the piano-playing 
 under Liszt ; but he has so much to do with others that he could not 
 devote much time to me, and I should not have there the enormous and 
 immeasurable advantage of the orchestra. The useless rushing about 
 and trifling away one's time, together with the innumerable temptations 
 to waste one's money, which are always occurring in Berlin, would not 
 occur at all in Zurich. 
 
 Please think this over carefully, and wait at least two to three days 
 before you refuse your consent irrevocably. I too have thought the 
 matter fully over before arriving at this result. If you refuse me per- 
 mission as I almost fear you will well, in that case I shall of course 
 obey you, and go to Berlin for the winter, but how long I shall be able 
 to stand it is a great question. 
 
 If you should suspect that it is Hitter who has influenced me in 
 this wish you are entirely mistaken. I could not imagine where you 
 could have got such a poor idea of my firmness of purpose and indepen- 
 dence. Papa says little ; he lets his permission, i.e. his willingness to 
 wait and see, which he has granted, not without great fear and mistrust, 
 depend on yours. 
 
 I beg you once more not to follow your antipathies, but to think it 
 over ; make me some concessions, I pray. It is, after all, no such great 
 and formidable matter one trial-half-year. 
 
 Our life here is very simple and monotonous. I hope we shall 
 have a piano as soon as possible, for I want one dreadfully. In order 
 not to let my fingers get quite stiff I practise a good deal on the dumb 
 keyboard of Charles Mayer apropos, have you seen him again ? which 
 now makes up to me for the inconvenience of having had to drag it 
 about on the journey. A further occupation of mine is the working out 
 of some musical ideas I got on the journey, and the copying of Liszt's 
 manuscript, a work demanding great care and pains. By the help of the
 
 SWITZERLAND. 49 
 
 clever valet, Karl, I have learnt to handle the music-pen ; and as I want 
 to do the thing well, and to keep the pages perfectly neat and I don't 
 know a more perfect pattern than the neatness of Raff it gets along 
 slowly. The weather is continuously fine, and, though autumnal and 
 very cool in the mornings and evenings, yet one may still call it warm. 
 The view we have is magnificent, and has been very much improved hy 
 Papa's order to cut down a lot of box and underwood which was in the 
 way of it. I work with him now and then in the garden, although I am 
 rejoicing in a quite imposing cold. In the rooms, especially the dining- 
 room, it is cold, and when we sit there I generally put on my overcoat. 
 
 I am very anxious that my letter should be posted today, so as to 
 reach you as soon as possible, and therefore I cannot write about the 
 journey now. I will therefore tell you only the most important things 
 about my visit to Stuttgart. 
 
 I hope you are well, and will not take my letter very much amiss. 
 Write soon and kindly. 
 
 How the two great artists, who exercised the most decisive influence on 
 Hans von Billow's life and work, and who, together with him, constitute a 
 powerful epoch in the history of German music how these two spoke up for 
 their young protigt at this crisis, will be seen by the two following letters to 
 Hans' mother. 
 
 RICHARD WAGNER TO FRANZISKA VON BULOW. 
 
 ZURICH, \Wi September 1850. 
 MY DEAR MADAM, 
 
 My young friend Karl Ritter, who was desirous of in- 
 creasing and strengthening his musical knowledge by practice in conduct- 
 ing, has, upon my recommendation, obtained the post of musical conductor 
 at the theatre here for the coming winter season. As it was only 
 by binding myself to superintend the practical work of my young friend, 
 and to a certain extent to direct it anew, that I could make the necessary 
 guarantee to the Director, Ritter has hereby a good opportunity of learn- 
 ing in a practical school, such as he might not easily find again under 
 such favourable conditions, as circumstances might not allow of this 
 everywhere. Now in this practice two can just as well take part as one, 
 
 D
 
 50 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 and I told Hitter, as he is in the neighbourhood, to tell your son this, 
 together with the offer, on my side, to help him in the same measure as 
 I am about to help Ritter. Well, yesterday I received a letter from 
 your son, in which he thanks me with the utmost warmth for this offer, 
 in the accepting of which he sees the chance of quickly qualifying him- 
 self for the practical post of a musical conductor, by which he would 
 soon be enabled to obtain a position suited to his powers and his most 
 ardent inclinations. With all the deeper sorrow he confesses to me that 
 he almost despairs of obtaining the sanction of his dear mother to accept 
 my offer, as she has all along cherished the desire that he should embrace 
 the career of a lawyer, and that therefore he must first at least finish his 
 studies for that object. 
 
 Will you now permit a man who has attained to riper years, and 
 who has been accustomed, as far as in his power lay, to think and act 
 not by halves, but fully, will you permit him to give his opinion on 
 this point? I have followed the youthful, developing period of your son's 
 life with cognizance and sympathy, without exercising any other influence 
 upon him than that of my example as an artist, and of my most cautious 
 advice. I have observed that his love of Art, and especially of music, is 
 based upon no mere transient excitement, but upon great, indeed uncommon, 
 powers. It was with my special concurrence, and indeed at my sugges- 
 tion, that he went on with his law studies with undiminished zeal, as 
 there is nothing so repugnant to me as a musician who is that alone, 
 without any higher general culture. At the wish of his family he applied 
 himself also to the study of Jurisprudence ; full of devotion to his mother 
 he tried hard to take an interest in this study, which in reality went 
 dreadfully against the grain. And now what is the perfectly clear and 
 evident result of all his pains and experience ? Simply the outspoken 
 and absolute conviction that the more he sets the one thing against the 
 other the more he feels that it is Art alone in other words, Music 
 that he can love unceasingly. This one thing, my dear lady, stands first 
 and foremost as an undeniable fact, and I cannot doubt that, when once yo\i 
 yourself are convinced of this wish of your son to devote himself entirely 
 to music, you will make it your own wish also. I should probably be 
 doing you the greatest injustice did I in the least doubt this ; but anxiety 
 about your son's future might suggest one wish to you, namely to secure 
 him from the possibility of repenting his decision, and from the conse- 
 quences which might arise to his so-called position in life. You would 
 wish your son at least to finish his studies for the law, so that, in the 
 possible event of his not succeeding in his artistic career, the other 
 might remain open to him. Whilst acknowledging therein the warmest 
 motherly love and solicitude, I must nevertheless be permitted to reply
 
 SWITZERLAND. 51 
 
 that I consider the carrying out of such a wish would be ruinous ; ruinous 
 for the further development of the character and powers of your son, 
 ruinous for the continuation of a healthy, loving relation betwixt son and 
 mother. After the unusually rapid development of the powers and the char- 
 acter of your son, you would be guilty of an open injustice if you did not 
 recognise this, and mistrusted it owing to your own doubt ; but by hold- 
 ing fast to that second wish on your side this mistrust would be distinctly 
 expressed. The germ of all radically ruinous evil is mistrust, and I feel 
 sure that is your experience also : should you now just at this time 
 show it to your son, by using your mother's influence to constrain him to 
 return to a study which in his innermost soul he loathes, without the 
 wish, without the bent, and therefore without the prospect of reaping 
 any advantage from it, you destroy his zeal for work in general, shatter 
 and weaken his power, and lay the foundations of a broken-down and 
 only half-developed character, which will remain so for the rest of his 
 days, and you will reap for certain that most unwished-for reward the 
 reward of an equally broken and shattered love. I cannot recall with- 
 out great pain a number of years of my life in which I, for similar reasons, 
 had entirely separated myself from my good (but on this point mistaken) 
 mother ; and yet I cannot say otherwise than that I wish your son an 
 energy similar to what mine was when I had strength to resist even the 
 noblest tie of nature which would have hindered me in the exercise of 
 my free choice ! 
 
 If you will further permit me, on the ground of my own experience, 
 to give advice which I trust you will not consider intrusive, but tendered 
 from the purest human sympathy, it is this : give willingly and speedily 
 your consent to this, so that your son may not go on living a moment 
 longer in coercion against his well-founded and well-tested inclination ; 
 grant him permission to spend the coming winter season with me here in 
 Zurich, so that, with his friend Hitter, he may learn under my direction 
 the practical work of a musical conductor ; wait with patience and see 
 what further turn his life as a practical artist takes; have full confidence 
 in whatsoever depends on my small powers of help, but especially in 
 what our friend Liszt may be able to do to help him on ; and in every 
 case where trials await him, where trouble threatens him, where he needs 
 help, do all that lies in your special power to sustain him with your 
 self-sacrificing support ! You will thus have the satisfaction of calling a 
 worthy, perhaps great, artist your son, of presenting to the world a con- 
 tented and self-dependent man, and of having won and preserved the 
 unspeakable happiness of his truest and deepest love as a son and a 
 human being ! 
 
 Pardon the candour and plain-speaking of my letter ! I address
 
 52 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 myself to no one to whom I may not venture to speak plainly and 
 candidly, but I do so to you in a special and sacred cause, in which I am 
 convinced that the happiness of a human being or rather, considering 
 your deep love to him, of two human beings is at stake, whom I would 
 fain see happy. With deep respect and devotion, 
 
 I am 
 
 Yours, 
 
 RICHARD WAGNER. 
 
 LISZT TO FRANZISKA VON BULOW. 
 
 WEYMAR, 28th September 1850. 
 
 MADAME LA BARONNE, 
 
 Several friends of your son's have spoken to me 
 
 (unknown to him, as I believe), to beg me respectfully to submit a 
 request to you. Little as I am calculated to serve as a negotiator with 
 you for wishes and hopes a noble and legitimate ambition, yet I confess 
 that the knowledge of the duty, as well as the sincere affection I bear to 
 your son, will not permit me to put entirely aside the pressing requests 
 which, I feel sure, are in accordance with your son's vocation. Whatever 
 decision you may come to with regard to the future of his career, pray 
 excuse, Madame, the liberty I am taking in meddling thus with questions 
 of a nature at once so serious and so delicate, and do not impute to this 
 letter any motive contrary to my habits and convictions. 
 
 Hans is evidently gifted with a musical organisation of the rarest 
 kind. His executive talent will easily place him in the front rank of 
 the greatest pianists, and his essays at composition denote quite excep- 
 tional qualities of imagination, of individuality, and of conception. 
 Besides, Hans has taken an antipathy to every career which would sever 
 him from Art. Permit me, then, to confide to your motherly love the 
 happy solution of the noble struggle between his natural vocation and 
 that destined for him, however bright and alluring it might be ; and, in 
 view of the sentiments which dictate this letter, pray pardon the inter- 
 cession I have ventured to make to you today. 
 
 I have the honour to be, Madame la Baronne, with deep respect, 
 
 Your devoted Servant, 
 
 F. LISZT.
 
 SWITZERLAND. 53 
 
 TO HIS SISTER. 
 
 ZURICH, 26th October 1850. 
 DEAR ISIDORE, 
 
 It really made me very unhappy to have to leave 
 Otlishausen so abruptly, without seeing you again, without saying good- 
 bye to you. But I could not help it ; I was forced to act as I did, and 
 I do not repent it, and trust I never shall do so. I had almost let 
 myself be over-persuaded by Papa, and had resolved to travel back to 
 Berlin without even seeing Wagner, when Ritter brought me a letter 
 from Wagner, which made me instantly resolve to go to Zurich, there to fill 
 the post of musical conductor under W.'s direction. We did the trip on 
 foot in two days : firstly in order to escape any possible pursuit on 
 Papa's side, and also because I wanted to test whether I had the energy 
 to do that piece on foot in the most awful weather, amid ceaseless rain 
 and storm. Wonderful to relate, it did not hurt me. I arrived dead- 
 beat, but the next morning I was pretty well refreshed and jolly, a sign 
 that hard bodily fatigue does not do any harm. In fact, in spite of the 
 unhealthy climate and the cold weather, I feel myself pretty well (low 
 be it spoken), and I look well, and have nothing to complain of beyond 
 some little pain in head and stomach, whereas I had more than twenty 
 most beautiful opportunities of catching a downright good cold. That I 
 have not done so is chiefly thanks to my habit of always pouring perfectly 
 cold water over myself every morning, without regard to the temperature, 
 and now I have got so accustomed to this that I do it almost with 
 pleasure. I am now tremendously busy with rehearsals, early in the 
 morning and in the afternoon regularly, from three to four hours each 
 time. I have already conducted four times in public ; twice it was the 
 farce, ' Einmal hunderttausend Thaler,' and of operas, ' The Daughter 
 of the Regiment ' and ' Czaar und Zimmermann.' It is not such an easy 
 task as it appears ; it requires a thorough, extensive study, almost to 
 the point of learning the operas by heart, and that is a great strain, and 
 also takes a great deal out of one. The reason I have so much to do now 
 is that Ritter (somewhat unpractically) is at present not conducting at 
 all until I have had a thorough drilling in it, which will take till New 
 Year. Ritter is now composing an Opera ; in January and February I 
 shall probably do the same. 
 
 The singers, who for a wonder are all extremely good, at first 
 intrigued with the orchestra against me, because I am so young and 
 inexperienced, and had not yet commanded sufficient respect. However 
 Wagner, who is perfectly satisfied with me, held them in check, threaten- 
 ing that he should resign i.e. that he should withdraw his interest, his
 
 54 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 superintendence, and his conducting-in-chief if they did not behave 
 properly to me. People here have a tremendous respect and esteem for 
 him, and a small portion of these will now be transmitted to his pupils. 
 I have already made some friends among the artists, and soon I hope to 
 have them all under my thumb. 
 
 The Federal Times, which is the first paper here, said of my conduct- 
 ing in ' The Daughter of the Kegiment : ' " Herr von Billow, a pupil of 
 Wagner's, has already shown himself in this performance to be a very 
 talented conductor ; and the one or two slips that occurred were merely 
 the result of the orchestra not showing enough confidence in the young 
 man." In order that you may not doubt the truth of this, I send you the 
 next critique in print. 
 
 With a monthly salary of fifty gulden, Ritter and I must both get 
 along till the New Year. The morning coffee is suspended, and we 
 enjoy a water-soup, which we make ourselves, and to which I have grown 
 quite accustomed. We dine with Wagner, where the cooking is capital. 
 His wife thoroughly understands it, and she is most kind and obliging ; 
 for instance, the other day she mended ray (I was going to say thy, for I 
 have got so mixed over the mine and thine, owing to the Zurich Com- 
 munism) umbrella which I should really have been ashamed to take out 
 with me without saying a word. Forgive me for writing so hurriedly 
 and carelessly, but in a moment I must go to rehearsal. So only a word 
 more. 
 
 Write me word very soon how you are, how the journey went off, 
 how you like Dresden, also how Mamma seems disposed towards me. I 
 don't know whether she would allow me to write to her about myself 
 and my life. You say you truly love me, and Mamma has often said so 
 too ; well now, for love of me, do be very good and gentle in your be- 
 haviour towards Mamma ; try to make her forget me in you, that thus 
 she may not continue to feel so aggrieved and angry with me. Then 
 perhaps gradually, later on, you may become the mediator between us. 
 My address for the present is : Oethenbacher Gasse in der Akazie, 4th 
 floor. Love to Wach.* 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 ZURICH, 26th October 1850. 
 
 DEAR, HONOURED MOTHER, 
 
 I have long hesitated and delayed writing to you, for I 
 have an uneasy conscience with regard to you ; I have violated all the 
 
 * The dog.
 
 SWITZERLAND. 55 
 
 duties of a child towards you, and am fully conscious of it, for it was no 
 levity that carried me away, no upset that has taken place, or else repent- 
 ance would have followed, and I should not have remained here, and 
 our relation to one another would never have been broken or disturbed. 
 I do not, however, repent the act which, from the standpoint of my 
 sacred duties towards you, is to be condemned, and I only fear that your 
 just anger has won the day over your motherly love : I fear, and tears 
 come into my eyes at this most terrible of all fears, that you might want 
 to know nothing more about your son, who separated himself of his own 
 accord from his mother ; that you would not recognise him as such any 
 more ; that you would perhaps destroy his letters unread. I have not 
 made myself any pleasing illusions ; I made it clear to myself that this 
 would all be quite natural, that I alone am guilty and have not deserved 
 anything different. And yet I could not abandon myself to it, I could 
 not believe it, and the dread of the unhappy, terrible certainty that it 
 was so has kept me from writing. Although I still feel the same dread in 
 all its intensity, it leaves me no peace, and impels me to try to ask you if it is 
 really true that I have irrevocably broken the tie that bound us together, 
 that I have for ever forfeited my mother's love by my act of rebellious 
 disobedience. I cannot believe that it is really possible that your un- 
 conquerable antipathy to the man whom I so highly esteem, and who, 
 by his warm and hearty sympathy, by his fatherly solicitude for me, has 
 the greatest claims on my love and gratitude, can be so powerful as to 
 tear your son from your heart. And even if it were possible that at this 
 moment your dislike of the noblest, the most loveable and honourable 
 man could be so deep-rooted as to have the upper hand yet I hope that 
 the future will make you feel kinder, more forgiving, more tolerant to- 
 wards opposing views and ideas, and that you may even feel a little 
 esteem and interest in the man to whom, in a sense, I gave over the 
 decision as to my life's calling, even before I went to Switzerland to see 
 my father. That it is only Music that I love, and for which I have a 
 true inclination ; that it is only in this career that I can find happiness and 
 inner peace, in spite of outward troubles and bothers; of this I have long 
 been convinced ; and that I should be of use in the life of an artist, and 
 should be able to make the most of my talents for my own and others' 
 benefit, this has been perfectly clear to me for a long time past. The 
 career of a lawyer, the service of the State, in which I foresaw that I 
 should only vegetate, without aim or influence, without being of any use 
 to my fellow-men, but rather the contrary these long ago appeared abso- 
 lutely impossible to me ; and it became only a question whether I could 
 postpone the decision until I had finished my studies that is to say, 
 till I was a half-fledged lawyer, with my head crammed full of a lot of
 
 56 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 useless, prosaic stuff, which might have supplanted everything better and 
 nobler in me by the weight of its bread-earning possibilities, and perhaps 
 stifling more worthy germs, so that my life after a year and a half would 
 have been spoilt, dead, and broken ! I kept thinking I should be able to 
 hold out, but in Leipzig and Berlin I was often on the point of making a 
 great resolution to come to a decision, which I have now done. Wagner's 
 letters to me at Otlishausen brought my resolve to a speedy crisis. To 
 be with Wagner, to live near him, to study in a practical way under his 
 direction, so as to become an artist this is tautology, since my ambition 
 is to be an artist, not a mere musician, for which latter there was ample 
 opportunity in Berlin, Leipzig, etc. It is my determination, based upon 
 the tendency of my powers and talents, to strive to follow Wagner with- 
 out slavish, childish imitation. I say now better even a medium 
 musician than a good, so-called able lawyer. Wagner thinks I shall be- 
 come a good musician and an artist of importance ; it is for me to justify 
 his confidence in me in the course of time. This winter I hope to finish 
 my bread-earning studies, and to become a good all-round conductor, for 
 which Wagner says I possess the most decided talent, by the keenness of 
 my ear, my quick perception, rapid survey, and finished playing. As a 
 conductor I can then earn my bread anywhere, and should be in a posi- 
 tion to compose, without any anxiety on that score. When you wrote to 
 me that you consented to rny devoting myself now to music, my father 
 made out that you had granted the main thing, and that it was only a 
 secondary matter that you were refusing, and that I was wrong to con- 
 found the one with the other. Papa acted wrongly towards you, and 
 later on he must have regretted his over-haste, and must have felt that it 
 was his duty not to thwart your plans and wishes, for he never left off 
 working upon me, till he had almost over-persuaded me, and I had resigned 
 myself. Then suddenly Wagner sent Hitter to me with a letter which 
 he had written me : this one letter threw all my resignation to the winds ; 
 it was this letter that made everything clear to me ; it was this letter 
 that made me undertake the journey to Zurich on foot ; it was this letter, 
 and still more my own personal talk with Wagner, that made me firmly 
 resolve to spend this winter with him in Zurich, -and no one in the world 
 can talk me out of it. I felt I must act so as to leave no possible road 
 of return open, no possible way of regret. Now the die is cast. I am 
 going to be a musician ; I am doing that from which I cannot separate 
 myself, and I hope thus to become a happy and contented man. 
 
 If you still condemn me, I hope that, by my own talent, and by my 
 musical powers, which Liszt and Wagner affirm to be unusual, I shall 
 bring you round to a different point of view. Let this be my care ; do 
 not let every spark of love for me die in you ; at least allow me to write
 
 SWITZERLAND. 57 
 
 to you from here how I am living, what I am doing, and how I 
 am. 
 
 Would it really be the same thing to you if I died ? 
 
 Now farewell, and be happy. May Isidore bring you happiness, 
 for I cannot in the way you wish. Perhaps you will write me a line 
 sometime, when your indignation has abated. I shall go on writing to 
 you until you forbid it. 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 ZURICH, 9th November 1850. 
 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 You have no idea how terrifically I am working here. 
 Rehearsal upon rehearsal, looking through and correcting the orchestral 
 parts, in which the most flagrant disorder, the crassest carelessness, 
 reigns, composing couplets and that sort of thing for farces, so that I 
 have hardly a moment to myself, and have had to neglect my piano-play- 
 ing more than I could wish. 
 
 At this very moment too I have not time to write a decent letter, 
 so I must beg you for today to be satisfied with the mention of the most 
 important facts. 
 
 Next Tuesday I play at the first subscription concert, and shall 
 play two brilliant and startling pieces (which at a debut here is a neces- 
 sity per se) by Kullak and Liszt, upon ' Norma' and 'Lucia.' At the 
 second or third concert I am sure to play again, and should then cer- 
 tainly choose a Beethoven Sonata and the ' Tannhauser ' Overture in the 
 Liszt arrangement. So I must make use of every free moment for 
 practising, so as to avoid the danger of a terrific fiasco. I hope and 
 believe also that it will go well, and that I shall have a success. 
 
 With regard to conducting, I have directed three operas since you 
 were here : ' Czaar und Zimmermann ' was regularly murdered ; I had 
 only received the score overnight ; it was a mere makeshift of a 
 performance, and Wagner was ill, so could not appear instead of me. I 
 had some scenes with the singers and orchestra, who, enticed by Director 
 Kramer with the bait of the Wagner conducting, thought they could 
 push matters so far as to insist on Wagner always conducting, and not 
 allowing me to do so until I had gone through the necessary routine 
 (without the practice in conducting !). Wagner issued a kind of mani- 
 festo to the rebels, which brought them in some measure to reason. 
 
 The second opera was the ' Barber of Seville.' The singers and
 
 58 HANS VON BiiLOW. 
 
 orchestra took great pains ; the public was more well-disposed than it 
 had ever been, and showed unusual interest and appreciation. I myself 
 had the score in my head, was thoroughly sure and master of it, and 
 everything went capitally. I had shown that my conducting could 
 make a success ; the public had at last comprehended that not merely 
 the person of the conductor, but also the musical forces in general, ought 
 to awaken sympathy ; so that by this performance, about which I have 
 received friendly congratulations from many sides, I feel that I am fixed 
 rather more firmly in my seat. Next Monday the ' Barber ' will be 
 repeated. 
 
 The third opera I conducted came to grief through the apathy of 
 the public, and the consequent disinclination and reluctance of the singers ; 
 that is to say, it did not actually fail, but on the stage they intended 
 to make it do so, in order perhaps to throw the blame on me afterwards. 
 It was Auber's ' Fra Diavolo ; ' pretty music, but cold, written by the 
 composer twenty years ago for one season, but raised by the Germans to 
 the rank of an immortal work, whereas even in France no one thinks 
 of it now. The dialogue is weak, and the opera is based upon a story 
 uninteresting when once one knows it, and can only maintain any zest 
 by the help of the actors, and by adding any humour that is possible to 
 it ; and even this was wanting. Thus it came about that the public, 
 which happened not to be in such a good humour that night, remained 
 cold, whereas in the ' Barber ' people had been carried away by the ex- 
 cessively comic situations and personages. Then began the old story 
 over again. The matter is even less ideal than we all thought at first, 
 and the fault lies both in the false perception of things on the side of 
 the public, who will hardly allow themselves to be attracted except by 
 Wagner's personal conducting, and also on the side of the singers. 
 However the chief thing is that I should learn conducting ; and this I 
 shall do, and, I hope, much more besides, which at any rate is not im- 
 probable, as we have only one month behind us and six still to' come. 
 Under these circumstances Hitter cannot yet take part in the conduct- 
 ing, but has to wait till I am thoroughly broken in and all prejudices 
 are overcome. By New Year, I hope, the work will be divided between 
 Bitter and me, and that I shall then have time for other things. Last 
 Monday I conducted a concert which an Italianised Swiss singer, Stigelli, 
 gave in the theatre, and at this I had also to play the piano accompani- 
 ments, so that I had to keep running backwards and forwards from the 
 stage to the orchestra. Next Friday ' Masaniello ' is to be given, and 
 probably I shall conduct it, as well as the ' Water-Carrier ' and Mehul's 
 ' Joseph,' which are to follow next. 
 
 Yesterday was ' Don Juan,' under Wagner's conducting, with an
 
 SWITZERLAND. 59 
 
 overflowing house, and yet a most dull, stupid, and thankless public. 
 Wagner had taken exceptional trouble, and we had all three been several 
 days and nights correcting errors in the orchestral parts, replacing 
 instruments which were wanting, such as trombones, by others ; 
 deep trumpets, etc. Wagner had had the Italian recitatives translated 
 into good German dialogue, some even admitted in their original form ; 
 he had also simplified the scenery, and had cleverly reduced the ever- 
 lasting scene-changing to a single one in the middle of the first act ; and 
 further he had arranged that the last aria of Donna Anna, which is 
 usually sung in a room, should be given in the churchyard, to which she 
 goes with Octavio, for whom a little recitative, composed by Wagner, 
 precedes the aria as a sort of introduction to it. Thus a sensible con- 
 sistency was given to the entire dramatic action, which, alas ! is almost 
 always wanting to a performance. It has driven me nearly wild when I 
 remember how Wagner used to be accused in Dresden of conducting 
 Mozart's operas badly on purpose, and how he could not bear this music in 
 his own self-conceit. The warm and living artistic feeling of reverence 
 for Mozart, shown by this disinterested act, will not be brought to light 
 by any of these would-be adorers. It is clear that ' Don Juan,' as given 
 everywhere up to now, does not give the pleasure or make the effect 
 which it can and ought to do ; and there is need of ample reform in this 
 matter. 
 
 Not a line from Mamma yet. I did not know her new address, so 
 have gone on sending to the old one. 
 
 At the end of this month we are leaving Oethenbacher Gasse, and 
 removing to a better lodging with some very respectable people, silk manu- 
 facturers. We shall have two nice rooms, separated by a passage ; and 
 for lodging, fire, attendance, breakfast, and dinner, we shall each pay four 
 Zurich gulden a week. One could not well have anything cheaper. 
 
 Thank you for the news about yourself and your life. I am 
 delighted that Willi * is well, and is gradually growing out of babyhood. 
 
 I will write to you after the concert. Next time I play in public 
 you will come over, won't you ? 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 ZURICH, 2nd December 1850. 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 Yesterday we removed, and then, to finish up, I hear 
 from my landlord that the servant lost a letter which I had given about 
 
 * Hans' half-brother, by his father's second marriage.
 
 60 HANS VON BtfLOW. 
 
 three weeks ago to be posted to you, because I was so busy with 
 rehearsals that I could not find time to post it myself. I need not say 
 how vexed I have been about this, and all the more so because by this 
 carelessness I have lost my passport, which, together with Wagner's article 
 on ' Judaism in Art,' I had put into the letter, in order to beg you to 
 send the passport to Leipzig to get it extended for me. In the same 
 letter I also begged you for ten gulden, which however I do not now 
 require, as May er-Wordm tiller, the financial director of the concerts, has 
 meanwhile sent forty francs (French) for my performance, which has 
 succeeded well, as far as success here goes. He has also asked me to 
 play again at the fourth concert, which will take place early in the 
 new year. 
 
 I came home today after the rehearsal, and then something 
 happened which peremptorily demands our (Wagner's and my) retire- 
 ment from the theatre. Today I conduct for the last time in 
 ' Masaniello.' Wagner will look after my immediate future. Possibly 
 the termination of my engagement with the theatre may be a gain for 
 me as regards my mother. Enough that it is simply impossible to 
 continue the affair as hitherto. The people and the circumstances are 
 so odious, and there is perpetual friction. At any rate the two months 
 have not been wasted ; but I have learnt some things which will be of 
 great use to me. I cannot tell you all the details ; I only know that the 
 principal reason why we must give notice today an eventuality that 
 we have long been anticipating, and have well thought over lies in a 
 quarrel with the husband of the first singer, who has herself given 
 notice, because she will not continue to sing under my conductorship. 
 She is such a favourite that Kramer would be ruined if she went away, 
 so I must make up my mind to be the sacrifice. No sort of adjustment 
 is possible ; and even if things could be made straight again which 
 would only be possible by the humiliation of Wagner and myself they 
 could not last ; on the first opportunity there would be a fresh scandal, 
 and things would come to the same end. Therefore better today, when 
 we can retreat honourably, than tomorrow. 
 
 You will readily understand how excited I feel about the matter at 
 this moment. I hope on that account you will excuse, first, this letter, 
 and secondly, my long silence, which has been so long owing to the loss 
 of my letter without any fault of mine. 
 
 The gods alone know what is to be done about the passport.
 
 SWITZERLAND. 61 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 ZURICH, 9th December 1850. 
 DEAR FATHER, 
 
 Your letter has pained me dreadfully, and I can only 
 console myself by thinking that you have misunderstood my last letter 
 in several points, possibly owing to my haste and want of detail. 
 Perhaps we shall see each other soon, and a personal talk may scatter 
 the dark cloud which hangs over my love for you, owing to your threat 
 of having nothing more to do with me if I remain in Zurich without 
 having any active practical work to do with "Wagner. I have become a 
 man by my own energetic act. I have a conscience and a conviction, 
 upon which I consistently act, and I think these ought to be respected 
 by everyone. I am a musician, and intend to remain one. I am a 
 follower now a pupil. of Wagner's, and shall prove this by my actions. 
 That is irrevocably decided. Why then your doubt, which almost 
 becomes a serious prohibition ? Why not say : "Go on as you have 
 begun, my best wishes shall go with you ; you have not yet proved 
 yourself unworthy of my confidence " ? Why cannot we be on terms of 
 affection, so that, when I recognise your handwriting on a letter, I may 
 break the seal joyfully, and say, "It is from my good father ! " Save 
 yourself reproaches till I have done something really wrong, I do 
 implore you. If you withdraw your love from me because I place 
 Wagner, whom I love and honour more every hour, above everything, 
 then with tears I must say to you, " Well, do it then, and give it all to 
 your Willi, to whom I on my side will give all a brother's love in place 
 of my filial love." But believe me that I am so steadfast that I am not 
 afraid of anything, and take the consequences of my actions upon 
 myself with my eyes open. 
 
 To return to my mother is impossible. I have wept bitter tears 
 in thinking of her, but I see that her fanatical feeling is stronger than 
 her mother's love, which makes my heart easier. 
 
 As regards my immediate future, chance has interposed so favour- 
 ably that I might almost be superstitious. Yesterday I received an 
 offer of an engagement as musical conductor of the theatre at St. Gall, 
 from Herbert, the director, who had heard that I had broken with 
 Zurich. 
 
 The conditions are acceptable, the principal one being that I should 
 go there speedily. Wagner was at first against my taking it, but after 
 thinking it over he advised me to accept it, which I have already done. 
 I leave here on Tuesday evening ; Hitter goes with me, and will begin 
 by being chorus-master at the opera under me as conductor.
 
 62 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 The position will be more agreeable than here, as I shall come out 
 quite independently, without any teacher at my back ; and I shall have 
 to deal with smaller powers, it is true, but also less arrogant. I shall also 
 have no rivals, as I had here, wanting to step into the position of 
 musical director. So for the present I am away from Wagner, and in 
 your neighbourhood ; when the winter is over I shall probably return to 
 Wagner, in order to write an opera under his guidance and help. I 
 want immensely to write a Christus, but W. thinks I should do some- 
 thing more practical for the moment. It is just possible that through 
 Wagner I might get something to do with Liszt in Weimar. Perhaps 
 but this is only an idea of my own I shall make the suggestion to my 
 mother that I might spend the summer in Paris, where, with a little 
 help, I could soon earn my own living. 
 
 So perhaps we shall see each other soon. 
 
 Give my love to Louise, and thank her for the woollen socks. I 
 don't require them, as even in this pretty cold weather I am not freezing 
 in my cotton ones. Besides, I am systematically hardening myself. 
 
 Your loving, 
 
 HANS v. BULOW. 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 ST. GALL, 17th December 1850. 
 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 For today only a couple of lines, to go with the packet 
 of books I am sending you. I have put in the Kladderadatsch almanack, 
 which I bought at a moment when I felt obliged to lighten my purse, 
 and which I now send for your amusement. 
 
 Many thanks for your letter, which has calmed me down, and 
 given me great pleasure. Do not take my last one too much amiss ; I 
 replied stante pede to yours, and was somewhat excited: it is not much 
 to be wondered at if I sometimes see things as black as at other times 
 they appear rosy to me. 
 
 I have as yet not found rooms. I am not a quiet man, as I make 
 music that was one stumbling-block; the other was the high prices. After 
 New Year it will not be so hard to find something. For the present we 
 are staying at the Gasthaus zum Schwan ; it is very bad, and for this 
 sort of commercial-traveller inn also very dear; but the food is 
 passable, and I was tempted by the fact that the innkeeper also lets out
 
 SWITZERLAND. 63 
 
 pianos, so that I was able to get one at once, on which I am practising 
 industriously at Liszt's paraphrase of the ' Tannhauser ' Overture, which 
 I am to play in Zurich after the New Year. 
 
 On Sunday I conducted my first opera, 'Der "Waffenschmied von 
 Worms,' by Lortzing. The house was well filled, and the public very 
 responsive. I was much congratulated, not publicly, but by all those 
 who knew the circumstances, on the way in which I discharged the 
 duties of conductor to an orchestra out of practice, composed almost 
 entirely of amateurs, and never up to its full numbers. After the first 
 rehearsal I had almost come to the conclusion that there was nothing 
 to be done with these people, for it did not even go infamously it 
 simply did not go at all ; so that I quite began to admire myself that 
 after three rehearsals I had got them so well in hand that it went off 
 without a disastrous fiasco. Wagner is right in saying that I have a 
 great talent for conducting. 
 
 The orchestra was composed partly of merchants, lawyers, some 
 officials, and a couple of musicians by profession. Herbert, the theatre 
 manager, a thoroughly honest, friendly man, begged me most particularly 
 to treat these gentlemen with tact. To the most rigid strictness, and 
 energy often amounting to the greatest excitement, I yet united so much 
 amiable courtesy, that the gentlemen the best of the amateurs assured 
 me that I was already much liked by them, that it was a great pleasure 
 to them to play under my baton, and that they would, as far as their 
 professions allowed, gladly attend all the rehearsals which I might think 
 it necessary to call. I have the greatest hopes from this, and I know 
 that I possess the capability of creating a very passable opera out of 
 almost nothing. 
 
 With regard to the personnel, all the members are more obliging 
 and more friendly towards me than in Zurich. The spectacle is as 
 proportionately good as it was wretched there. The opera is certainly 
 more insignificant, but something may be done with the singers here if 
 one does not aspire to too difficult tasks. Perhaps also there will be a 
 possibility of arranging some Symphony concerts, Trio soirees and the 
 like, though not until New Year. Until then the theatre is closed ; but 
 there is so much to be studied that I don't even know whether I shall 
 be able to come to Otlishausen for Christmas. 
 
 Biilow was not able to get to Otlishausen for the Christmas Eve, but he 
 paid a flying visit there before the end of December, on the last day of which 
 he writes to his lather : 
 
 I am still firmly resolved to stick here till Easter ; I shall have to
 
 64 HANS VON B0LOW. 
 
 try to compensate myself for the miseries of a conductorship here in 
 some other way. What sort of animals I have to deal with in my 
 orchestra it would pass the powers of natural history to imagine. If one 
 could only get at them somehow, but they understand absolutely 
 nothing; I would gladly learn how to grunt and to low in order to 
 accomplish something, but it would not help matters. In the end there 
 is nothing else for it but to laugh (that is, in derision). 
 
 Thirty -five years later in 1886 on the occasion of a Pianoforte Recital, 
 Billow again saw the scene of his first musical winter campaign, and, after the 
 end of the concert, when he was enjoying himself with the musical people of 
 the place, he drew a lively sketch of the state of the orchestra as it was when 
 he first had to do with it. As so many important instruments were taken, 
 not by paid and engaged musicians, but by amateurs, who gladly gave their 
 time from love of the art, and who on that account had to be carefully dealt 
 with, the young conductor had to go through many an anxious moment when 
 he mounted his desk. To quote Billow's own account : " There were also two 
 bassoonists in the orchestra imagine, amateurs ! they were my dread, and 
 kept me constantly on tenterhooks. If they had nothing to play, then I was 
 in a state of terror that they might come in, and I was constantly warning 
 them ('not yet ! ') ; but if they really had to come in, then I had not the 
 courage to give them the sign and I warned them as before." 
 
 An amateur kettledrum-player, on the contrary, who received honourable 
 mention, must have been a perfect marvel of a timekeeper, for when he bad 
 very long pauses he counted them inwardly, and used to pay little visits to an 
 adjoining caf without endangering the ensemble, as he always got back 
 punctually to his post in time for his next entry. 
 
 Billow also did not omit a visit to the same cafe", where he found the self- 
 same landlady, who, it is true, could not any longer remember him. The old 
 woman begged him not to let so long a time pass before his next visit to St. 
 Gall, as he would not find her there if he did. And he promised to come 
 again soon. " But the honoured Master came not again." So ends the account 
 of Billow's visit to St. Gall on the 25th and 26th February 1886. 
 
 TO HIS FATHER 
 
 ST. GALL, 5th January 1851. 
 
 Your advice to me to freeze in the cold, I am following, with a 
 peculiar expansion in the frosty feeling. Thus I never have any fire, 
 as the iron stove makes it so unbearably hot for an hour that I am 
 obliged to throw open the windows, and then that brings back the 
 original temperature. Besides, it would be a luxury, as I only get up at 
 seven, and from nine, and occasionally ten o'clock, I have rehearsals
 
 SWITZERLAND. 65 
 
 chorus rehearsals which would drive one to distraction, if the ladies 
 were not so amiable and the gentlemen so good-humoured. For we have 
 no separate chorus singers, but all the personnel of the play and of the 
 opera is obliged to take part in the choruses. In this noble occupation 
 we go on until mid-day, when we dine ; then we go to the ' Lowe,' drink 
 our coffee, have a look at the Augsburger and the Siede, regale our- 
 selves with Charivari, which just now has some capital caricatures about 
 German affairs, and meet our friends ; or else I pay a call, etc. In the 
 afternoon I am again schoolmaster, and have my ears martyred from half- 
 past two to half-past four. In the evening there is either orchestral 
 rehearsal or theatre, and the day is ended before one is aware of it. If 
 it is then very cold, I get into bed and study scores, which have the 
 advantage over books that one does not go to sleep over them. I have 
 now thoroughly studied the ' Freischiitz,' i.e. the score, so that I am 
 learning it by heart. I think it is only when one has gone so far as to 
 know every note, every nuance, the exact place and significance of every 
 instrument (that is, in a good opera), that one is fit to get it by heart 
 and to conduct it, which one can only do when one does not have to 
 look at the score any more. It is really a good thing that you cannot 
 come now, as you ought to come in six days' time. 
 
 For next Friday, with the help of God Almighty, the ' Freischtitz ' 
 will be given. I hope it will go pretty well ; I shall certainly have 
 three orchestral rehearsals. At length we have got a leader, a young 
 and very good violinist and musician (though a somewhat coarse and 
 arrogant man) from Erlangen. His assistance will make the thing go 
 with more spirit. 
 
 With regard to my critique, old Greith is delighted with it, and 
 sent it at once to his son in Winterthur. Although he did not agree 
 with the chief points, yet he was much pleased with a good deal that 
 spoke to him from my soul ; moreover he is free from prejudice ; his 
 eyes sparkled when the name of Proudhon was mentioned. What you 
 say about extravagantly long phrases is true, and I must get out of 
 the habit of them ; yet I think they were not awkward and incom- 
 prehensible ; it is difficult to write in short, concise phrases when one 
 has to be circumspect, and to weigh one's words. 
 
 I am going to live on at the 'Gasthaus zum Schwanen.' The 
 landlord, a Saxon from the neighbourhood of ' Drasen,' * is an honest, 
 reasonable fellow. At New Year we paid a bill which, apart from 
 lodging, which moreover is no cheaper in private houses here, we found 
 very reasonable in every point, without any ' sticking it on.' 
 
 * Colloquial or local for ' Dresden.' 
 E
 
 66 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 P.._ The reason I have written so large on the first page and so 
 small on the second is owing to the cold. 
 
 Franz Liszt writes as follows to Eduard von Billow, in reply to the request 
 from the latter for Liszt's advice as to the most important steps for his son's 
 future : 
 
 LISZT TO EDUAED VON BULOW. 
 
 EILSEN, 4:tk January 1851. 
 
 MONSIEUR LE BARON, 
 
 I am too deeply sensible of the honourable confidence you place in 
 me not to endeavour seriously to justify it to the utmost of my ability, 
 both now and at any future time. 
 
 In the career which your son has embraced, a career for which he 
 is evidently remarkably gifted, there are four points to be considered. 
 (Pardon me for putting it in this apparently pedantic manner, but it is 
 much the most clear and convenient) : 
 
 1. The years of apprenticeship and preparation ; the opportunities 
 to be sought or avoided ; the places to be accepted or refused, 
 etc. 
 
 2. What direction should he follow, and what sort of work should 
 he undertake 1 Ought your son at once to set about writing a grand 
 opera, or would it be more profitable to him to work, either preliminarily 
 or simultaneously, at some less ambitious compositions symphonies, 
 quartets, solos, morceaux d'ensemble, etc. ? 
 
 3. Up to what point might he leave in the background his great 
 talent as a pianist 1 Would it not be better for him to cultivate that 
 (after the example of Mozart, Beethoven, Weber, Meyerbeer, and 
 Mendelssohn in their youth), and to attain a high position as a virtuoso, 
 which with his execution and the verve he possesses he could easily 
 do? 
 
 4. What pecuniary results does he expect from the exercise of his 
 musical faculties ? Would he do without money gains, and work solely 
 for the love of art ? What sum will he have at his disposal per annum, 
 and for how many years, before he is in a position to earn an honourable 
 existence by his art ? 
 
 With regard to the first point, allow me, Monsieur le Baron, to 
 observe that the harvest your son will reap from a conductor's position 
 similar to that which he now occupies might be rather problematic in
 
 SWITZERLAND. 67 
 
 the long run; and that, unless he found a solid and somewhat lucrative 
 position, whether materially or morally, there would be every reason to 
 advise him to give up at once this business of little-enviable luxury. 
 Perhaps also a visit to Paris and London might be desirable. Paris in 
 particular is especially adapted for developing, in an individuality of so 
 good a stamp as his, what I may call a European sense in matters of Art ; 
 and Wagner himself, thoroughly Teuton as he made himself out to be 
 (doubtless with good reason), will agree, if he speaks in good faith, that 
 his stay in Paris has been eminently useful to him. 
 
 Hans must only be careful to choose a favourable time for going 
 there the time of the concerts and dramatic performances that is, the 
 six months of winter and spring ; and before he goes he must give you 
 his word of honour that he will refrain from taking any part in politics 
 during that time. 
 
 It is very difficult to give reliable advice as to the particular direc- 
 tion a young artist ought to give to his fancy, and as to the mould into 
 which it is best for him to adapt his ideas. I could not venture any 
 decision in this respect, for it would go too near to overweening conceit 
 and pedantry ; but, all the same, if Hans has enough confidence in my 
 experience and in my friendship for him, I will gladly talk it over fully 
 with him the next time he comes to see me at Weimar, which I hope he 
 will do in the course of the next few months. I may say, in passing, 
 that I entirely agree with your opinion in regard to his project of an 
 opera of Jesus Christ ! What theatre would produce it 1 What actors 
 would play it ? And what public would accept it ? 
 
 The career of a German composer is full of hindrances and diffi- 
 culties ; Wagner, and some others of far less talent, furnish a proof of this 
 every day. The very real interest I take in your son makes me hope 
 that circumstances will allow of my being serviceable to him. Unfortun- 
 ately at the moment I am unable to offer him any post near me, as you 
 do me the honour to wish ; and besides, I should have to be clearer about 
 his ideas, projects, and the limits of his ambition, to come to any decision 
 of that kind ; but as soon as ever an occasion arises, be assured that I 
 shall neglect nothing which can prove to you the sincerity of my attach- 
 ment to your son. Pray accept this assurance, Monsieur le Baron, to- 
 gether with that of the esteem and consideration of 
 
 Yours most sincerely, 
 
 F. LISZT. 
 
 I shall be back at Weymar about the 20th January. 
 
 After this statement Eduard appears to have been considerably easier in 
 his mind, and to have seen things in a brighter light. On the 19th January 
 he writes as follows :
 
 68 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 EDUARD TO ERNST VON BULOW. 
 
 Hans is now, as you know, at St. Gall. There he has formed an 
 opera out of almost nothing. I was with him a week ago, when he con- 
 ducted the ' Freischiitz,' which he had studied by himself. The house 
 was full to overflowing, the applause tremendous, and the performance 
 excellent. Hans conducted in every respect like a Master, and loithout 
 looking at the score. The orchestra, some sixty in number, followed im- 
 plicitly and with pleasure their twenty-years-old conductor. The most 
 notable men of the place wealthy merchants, professors, doctors play in 
 the orchestra, partly for Hans' sake, and in order that the affair may 
 succeed. Hans is working almost day and night. ... I heard things 
 privately about him from many sides; the whole town is well disposed 
 towards him and respects him, both on account of his modesty, lively 
 disposition, talent, and quiet behaviour. He is invited to the first 
 houses, and my banker had already invited him three times before he 
 knew that it was my son. In a concert for the poor that Hans gave, 
 both his playing and his compositions met with enormous success. 
 
 .... Let me disabuse your mind of one other error : you, as a 
 good Prussian, will naturally have been anxious, like myself, lest Hans 
 should be through and through republicanised by Wagner, and brought up 
 an arch-traitor. Therefore I give you my word of honour that Hans was 
 only bitten by the political mania whilst he was wavering between two pro- 
 fessions, as he was in Berlin. Once fixed in his true calling, as he is 
 now, and he thinks and dreams of nothing else but music 
 
 Hans has chosen his career, not lightly, but after severe struggles 
 with himself, and therefore has not acted wrong towards anybody. I, as 
 his father, with whom he also broke off, say this. Hans will do all in 
 his power to obtain a reconciliation with his mother, and I assure you of 
 his deep grief over his present misunderstanding with her. 
 
 TO HIS SISTER. 
 
 ST. GALL, 26th January 1851. 
 MY DEAR GOOD SISTER, 
 
 You may be sure your loving wishes for my unhappy 
 birthday were not necessary to make me think of you. I am not 
 estranged from you, and shall as little alienate myself from you as from
 
 SWITZERLAND. 69 
 
 my mother, in spite of her having discarded me and ceased to be a mother 
 to me. I shall hail with joy, with a thousand joys, the day when I can 
 he allowed to give both a sign of my love and my gratitude, but the 
 impossible must not be expected of me. I shall not have a long life, and 
 therefore I wish so to live that life shall appear worth living. I will not 
 be bound down to circumstances which seem to me more hostile and de- 
 testable than the most bitter death, which I should greet as a friend in 
 comparison. A drawing-room musician I cannot and may not be without 
 doing violence to myself ; the vocation to which Heaven, and my own 
 desire, lead me is that of a dramatic composer ; and, as one must also have 
 the means of earning one's livelihood, I think it is wisest to educate my- 
 self for a theatre conductor, because, with my capability for it, I shall be 
 able to get a sure and solid position as such. That is why I could never 
 dream of repenting the step I have taken. 
 
 Now look here ! Today I will indulge my inclinations by telling 
 you everything, by pouring out my heart to you, and I think you need 
 not think less of yourself because I do so. 
 
 You, too, know the respect and love which I have long felt for 
 Wagner. I do not know if you can understand it, but it is through 
 this respect, which necessitates also an understanding of his works, that 
 I really came to my right self. I have become more and more conscious 
 that this esteem, this understanding, is the best germ in me, the one by 
 means of which, if properly fostered by me, I shall become a man who 
 fills a distinct place in the world, and in humanity. For among thou- 
 sands who exercise the same activity to my thinking, not merely useless 
 but even injurious running about as a lawyer or a drawing-room 
 musician, / could never be inspired by such an idea, which would give 
 me no pleasure no interest in my profession. For this I was and am 
 too aristocratic too exclusive. According to my ideas, every man ought 
 to deserve his existence, and to show his fellow-men that he has a right 
 to exist, and that he does not risk stealing away from more worthy ones 
 the enjoyment of the earth. 
 
 Now you cannot blame me if, with all respect for the domestic 
 virtues of W., E., and P., for example, I consider it highly unnecessary 
 and quite a luxury for them to exist. The fact that I have recognised, 
 as perhaps few others have yet done, the greatest artist who has appeared 
 in our age, and who will perhaps have a still higher historical importance, 
 has awaked in me ambition, self-confidence, and the spring of life. It 
 became clear to me that I was able to share the spirit of this man, that I 
 was able to become his pupil, his apostle ; and with such an endeavour, 
 such an aim as this before me, life appeared to me worthy of living. For 
 him I felt an enthusiasm such as I had never felt before ; and the
 
 70 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 musical talent, the fineness as well as weakness of which (for I am under 
 no illusions) I perhaps owe to my mother, had fitted me to love and 
 to honour him. I had always wanted to be a musician, but a 
 morbid want of self-confidence had kept me from seriously opposing the 
 doubts and contrary wishes of my mother. I thought my life was 
 spoilt ; I was full of deep dissatisfaction with myself and vegetated au 
 jour le jour. Then began those unlucky politics ; as a man of feeling 
 and intelligence I could not get away from my inward revolt, and that 
 day on which I did not go with them to Dresden still seems to me 
 the most ignominious of my life. I often think how much better it 
 would have been if I had followed the insignificant, but at that time 
 noble and effective, calling of loading the cannon ! 
 
 The career on which I have fixed by the judgment of Wagner, 
 whom I had indeed long regarded as a competent judge in the matter, 
 this career I earnestly wished to carry out under the guidance of his 
 hand, until I had attained my mental majority. I could not follow 
 after him at a distance ; I have so much to learn from him ; he stands 
 so high, I comparatively so low it seemed to me absolutely indispen- 
 sable for the attainment of my life's aim. He has been so fine, so 
 noble, so fatherly towards me that I owe him eternal gratitude for it all. 
 All the more am I grieved at the behaviour of my mother towards him, 
 especially as I was intending to sacrifice myself to her wishes for I 
 cannot bear this disunion any longer (believe me, it has cost me many 
 tearful hours) by leaving Wagner at Easter, and either going to 
 Weimar to study with Liszt, or else to Paris, though I recollect that 
 Liszt most particularly recommended the winter season for Paris. 
 
 My father has to some extent supported me in this project I 
 fancy from various motives. In any case the separation from Wagner 
 can never be more than a temporary one. I cannot do otherwise. 
 
 If mother will allow me to write to her, I shall do so. 
 
 Papa came here lately for the ' Freischutz,' and was excessively 
 pleased. I was not with him for Christmas Eve. I had one sole 
 pleasure on that evening ; the previous Sunday I had played in the 
 theatre ; a charity concert had been arranged under my management ; I 
 had had works studied, such as the sextet from ' Don Juan,' also a 
 portion of Wagner's ' Bienzi,' which they had at first said were impossi- 
 bilities. It was a very good concert. My piano-playing had an 
 immense success, and I was called forwards over and over again. The 
 following Wednesday I received a laurel wreath tied with satin ribbons, 
 on which were embroidered my name and a verse from Schiller. I can't 
 yet learn from whom it came. . . . 
 
 But now I must close. Do all you can to make things right again
 
 SWITZERLAND. 71 
 
 between mother and me. Today I have not asked you a word about 
 yourself and your doings. 
 
 On the 19th February he writes to his father : 
 
 Herbert is always courteous to me, although to others he is 
 sometimes a Brutus in the accusative ; certainly that redounds to his 
 credit, or rather the contrary to his prejudice. His interest requires him 
 to keep me for his establishment, as I am of use to him, and to a certain 
 extent help to bring credit on it. Last month I was very unwell, with a 
 very bad cough and pain in my chest, and complete hoarseness. Dr. 
 Diethelm met me again for the first time at the ' Lowe ' after a long 
 interval. I often see Fraulein Dardenne, and when my cold was at its 
 worst she knitted me a first-rate shawl, which has been tremendously 
 useful to me ever since. Next Tuesday week I play the ' Tannhauser ' 
 Overture at the subscription concert in Zurich; Wagner conducts the 
 ' Sinfonia Eroica.' . 
 
 TO HIS FATHEE. 
 
 ST. GALL, 2nd April 1851. 
 
 DEAR FATHER, 
 
 For the last ten days I have had to work like a 
 dozen niggers. Ten hours' rehearsal daily ; I am perfectly ruined, and 
 going to the dogs. The first thing I shall do when I have a free 
 afternoon will be to take an emetic to get rid of all the gall and vexation 
 which have accumulated within me. I used to behave in a courteous 
 manner, and have now to become classically rude a new lesson in the 
 school of life ! For my benefit Herbert has, after many inquiries, given 
 me the second performance of ' Czaar und Zimmermann.' That will bring 
 in poor receipts a couple of wretched gulden perhaps ! Nevertheless, 
 if I have to fag so, I will at least have something for it. My benefit 
 will take place next Tuesday, i.e., the 8th April. 
 
 After we have been having holiday for ever so long it suddenly 
 occurs to the Director to give operas offhand, and to have such a heap 
 of rehearsals that today everyone is pretty hoarse for the performance. 
 Friday we are to have opera again, ditto Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, 
 and Friday in next week. You can just imagine how things are going 
 when everything is pressed on so, almost without the proper means, and 
 now, in addition to that, operas which it is a perfect folly to give here 
 such as Flotow's ' Martha,'
 
 72 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 Next Tuesday, then, I shall expect you for certain ; am delighted 
 to think of seeing you. 
 
 My March salary of 40 gulden Herbert still owes me. Tomorrow 
 I shall send my landlord for it. The fellow will have to pay in any 
 case, for he stays the summer here and keeps a hotel, and no one who is 
 known to be insolvent dare do that. 
 
 Tomorrow evening Wagner is coming to see us for a couple of 
 days. I shall hardly have time to see him. On Saturday Ritter leaves, 
 and goes to Freiburg (University), where Feuerbach this summer is to 
 read about Classical Art ; Ritter intends also to compose his ' Frithjof,' the 
 poem of which is ready. 
 
 As the last drop in the cup, this morning comes an artist with an 
 introduction to me, a clever violinist and very agreeable man, Gulomy (a 
 Russian), a friend of Lipinski. The Munich pianist Speidel,* an old 
 acquaintance of Stuttgart days (perhaps you may remember him), intro- 
 duced him to me. How ever does he know that I am living here? 
 Now I shall have to give myself up to the man, which however I 
 would do with pleasure if there were plenty of time. 
 
 My head is all in a buzz. Today is ' Czaar und Zimmermann.' It 
 must go well. If Gulomy gives a concert on Monday, then you'll come 
 that day, as I should probably play ; but I will write about it before 
 then. Isa's letter herewith. The letter from the Berlin friend has 
 pleased me greatly. Tell me, how did you get it 1 Where had he found 
 out that I am vegetating here ? 
 
 Farewell ! my head is buzzing, my head is buzzing bz, bz, bz, bz ! 
 
 The above-mentioned concert took place, and he writes to his father on 
 the 16th April : 
 
 What pleases me is that I am universally respected by the public, 
 with whom, however, I have otherwise nothing to do ; they have never 
 blamed me for any ill-luck in performances. 
 
 Just lately (on Monday) I played Beethoven's great A minor 
 Sonata with Gulomy the violinist, a very clever artist, and made a 
 furore with it. On Palm Sunday he gives a second concert, in which I 
 shall also take part. On that Monday I could scarcely find time to dress 
 myself and get to the place, and directly I had finished I had to rush 
 from the piano to the orchestral rehearsal. 
 
 * Wilhelm Speidel (1826), a pianoforte teacher, virtuoso, and composer ; a 
 friend of Liszt, Thalberg, and Schumann,
 
 SWITZEKLAND. 73 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER 
 
 OTLISHAUSEN, 30M April 1851. 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 The deep need my heart feels that the sad and unnatural 
 relation should be removed which, through my wrong, has been subsist- 
 ing for half a year between mother and son, led me to ask my sister 
 whether, after your indignation at the bitter mortification I had caused 
 you, you would allow me to write to you again. Isidore's answer was 
 favourable : she said I might, and I was to write to you again. The hard 
 work which took up all my time in St. Gall, to enable me to earn my 
 livelihood, and the bodily and mental fatigue induced by it, and, let me 
 also confess, an unchildlike defiance, now vanished, which refused to 
 acknowledge any wrong towards you, and which was strengthened by 
 the certainty that I could make my way as a musician in Switzerland 
 (even if with difficulty), without thinking that it was you I had to thank 
 for my talent, my education in music ; all this kept me from fulfilling 
 my sister's wish sooner, as I had really in my innermost self wished 
 to do. 
 
 But none the less strong was the longing which I felt, after the relaxing 
 of the unhappy state of tension between us, which, besides the misery it 
 brought me, seems also like a bad augury for my future in the career which 
 I chose with such an inconsiderate disregard of all duties towards you, and 
 in which I closed every road of return. Of melancholy hours, in which 
 I was conscious of my loneliness and my almost orphaned condition, 
 there were many : my birthday, Christmas, seasons which we had 
 always spent together for twenty years, and which I this time spent 
 as far apart from you in spirit as we were separated in distance these 
 anniversaries made me doubly feel the need of a reconciliation. What 
 kept me from taking any steps on my side was the uncertainty whether 
 your anger against your disobedient son, whom you had driven out of 
 your heart, would allow you to read my letter. Later on, it was the 
 reasons I have already given you which prevented me from seeking this 
 reconciliation. I am doing this now from Otlishausen, where I have 
 come to recruit after having finished my duties as conductor at the 
 St. Gall theatre, to restore my health, to practise which I have had 
 rather to neglect during the winter and to devote myself to some big 
 compositions. You know my old dislike of great show and demonstra- 
 tion therefore let me just say in simple words, / am deeply sorry to have 
 grieved you in the way I have done. I cannot yet tell, as the future alone 
 can answer this, whether I have done wrong towards myself by the way
 
 74 HANS VON BtfLOW. 
 
 I have acted, but I readily acknowledge to you that I have acted wrongly 
 towards you, ungratefully, and contrary to my duty. The grief I have 
 caused you I heartily repent, and implore you to forgive me. 
 
 With this hope within me, I think it is now my duty to give you 
 at least an idea of what my life has been, and to tell you of my practical 
 education in the career of a musical conductor. Whatever may be the 
 final judgment as to the step which I took in flying to Zurich, thus 
 much I can truly affirm, that the half-year from October 1850 to April 
 1851 was not only not useless in the way it was spent, but that it has 
 been a gain for me in every respect, in knowledge and experience. On 
 the whole, the thought of being now devoted to one object, the reconcil- 
 ing of freedom and necessity in the choice of a career, the ending of the 
 vacillation between the profession to which I was pledged and that which 
 I desired, has matured me ; and one result of this is that I have stripped 
 off all dilettanteism, the consciousness of which often formerly embittered 
 the pleasure of my talent a talent which I know I possess. This is 
 also evident in my piano-playing, although this has been pushed rather 
 more into the background ; I have gained in certainty and in precision 
 of tempo, and have lost, or at any rate begun to lose, that restless, 
 inartistic haste, for which I have so often been found fault with. The 
 frequent piano rehearsals for solos and chorus (for they had no special 
 chorus director at St. Gall) have been of great use to me in this 
 in knowledge of the parts, vocal parts especially: I have learnt to 
 express myself, to make myself intelligible, if my musical feeling told me 
 that such and such a thing was wanting in taste, and how it should be 
 rendered. I have become very keen and sure in regard to sounds, for, as 
 I had to teach difficult choruses to people, some of whom, though other- 
 wise educated, could hardly read their notes, I was also obliged to sing 
 with them and to them, which cultivated my ear still more, and which 
 also enabled me to sing correctly at sight, even the middle parts, a thing 
 one can't do without practice. The conducting of the orchestra has 
 been of still greater use to me, especially in such a poor-conditioned one 
 as that at St. Gall, which consists mainly of amateurs; the routine in 
 the mechanism of time-beating, circumspection in reading the score to 
 say nothing of playing it and understanding it at sight the art of get- 
 ting the orchestra in time again when it has got out, the knowledge of 
 the instruments and the instrumentation, quality of sound, etc. I am 
 now in a position to teach quite a strange orchestra my own compositions, 
 for instance ; even very important composers (Meyerbeer, Schumann, 
 and others) cannot do this unless they have learnt the mechanical part 
 early. Of operas I have studied, since I have been in St. Gall, 
 1 Freischiitz,' ' Martha,' ' Stradella,' 'Nachtlager,' ' Czaar,' ' Waffenschmied,'
 
 SWITZERLAND. 75 
 
 and the ' Daughter of the Regiment ' (to say nothing of operettas), and 
 have frequently made possible the impossible, a fact which has met 
 with acknowledgment. 
 
 There I was far away from Wagner, whom you look upon as my 
 ruin. Our correspondence was unimportant, and when he came on a 
 visit to St. Gall I was so busy that I hardly had a couple of hours with 
 him. I had at that time to work on an average ten hours a day. Since 
 the beginning of December, when I left Zurich, I have only been once 
 at Wagner's, and that was on the 24th and 25th February, for a subscrip- 
 tion concert, at which I played the Liszt paraphrase of the ' Tannhauser ' 
 Overture successfully. 
 
 Think what you will of Wagner, but at any rate do not disregard the 
 distinction between the artist and the man. No one can now say a word 
 against his merits as an artist ; otherwise would Liszt, one of the most 
 gifted and remarkable of artists, have relinquished, in his riper years, 
 everything which tended to his own ambition and the success of which was 
 certain, because he thought it more noble to make propaganda for Wagner 
 and his works, and entirely to subordinate himself to this aim ? If I am 
 mistaken in W., a later insight will reveal it to me. But musically I am 
 greatly indebted to him, from Zurich onwards. You cannot deny that, as 
 I have become a musician, this practical work has given me experience 
 and knowledge, has taken me considerably onwards in my career, and has 
 at any rate the material advantage of providing me with a livelihood, as 
 the profession of a conductor will ensure me this for the future good 
 conductors not being innumerable, and I having a special aptitude for it. 
 Circumstances could not have been more favourable for learning this 
 that is to say, more adapted than in Zurich and St. Gall ; for one learns 
 more from a bad orchestra than from a good one. 
 
 As regards my plans for the future first of all, I shall stay here 
 some three weeks longer, and then go to Weimar, where Liszt, as he 
 lately wrote to Wagner, will take me as his pupil, and where I shall try 
 to perfect myself in composition and piano playing. No doubt Liszt's 
 influence will be able to recommend me later to some town or other. 
 
 I should so like to hear from you again how you are living, whether 
 you are well, and how you feel towards me. Please let Isidore write to 
 me about this. Once more I beg pardon from my whole heart for the 
 wrong I did towards you. 
 
 Your loving, grateful son.
 
 76 HA.NS VON BULOW. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 OTLISHAUSBN, l&h May 1851. 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 It has given me the greatest joy that you have answered 
 my letter yourself, and have thus shown me that you did not give me up 
 on account of my disobedience, and that you have not taken your love 
 from me ; and I thank you from my heart for this. You give me this 
 assurance at the end of your letter, because you foresee that I should 
 miss the old warmth of your letters. It is true I do miss it sorely, but 
 I also understand that you can only be reconciled to me by degrees, for 
 somewhat of " forgetting " must also go with " forgiving." If I only have 
 the hope that the old relation between mother and son may be restored 
 in the course of time, and that you won't shut your heart against me on 
 purpose that you won't thrust away the feeling of reconciliation ! How 
 much the wrong I did you by my mode of action, which so deeply shat- 
 tered our feelings for one another, and in a way I had never imagined 
 how this has troubled me I told you in my first letter : here I can only 
 repeat it, and you need not doubt the sincerity with which I beg your 
 pardon. Be assured of this, that, wherever it is possible, I shall be 
 guided by your wishes in the carrying on of my career. I shall in any 
 case not stay beyond the end of this month in Otlishausen, and I should 
 like then to know whether you approve of my going to Weimar, and asking 
 Liszt if he can help me by his recommendations to a post as conductor, 
 or anything else. I should be glad to hear from you soon about this, 
 and beg that you will write to me, as I am almost afraid you won't like 
 the idea of a conductorship, which would certainly be the surest way of 
 earning a livelihood. 
 
 This brings me to the mention of Ernst's letter. " You placed before 
 me," wrote Ernst to me, "as a special condition of your reconciliation, the 
 following of a solid musical career." I only beg you to tell me more exactly 
 what sort of a career you have in your mind, and what you consider 
 most advantageous for my further education. For I cannot believe 
 that I have grown to be such a stranger and so indifferent to you that 
 you just coldly wish me success, and that my decision to become a 
 musician, with which you appeared satisfied half a year ago, as you 
 assured me you would not constrain me in my choice of a profession 
 I cannot think that this decision can be so utterly contrary to you at 
 heart that you would reject every explanation as quite indifferent to you. 
 For was it not you who so often rejoiced over my talent, and urged it 
 on, and even brought it forward as the noblest in me, when you were 
 vexed with my conduct or opinions in other things ?
 
 SWITZERLAND. 77 
 
 Therefore do be kind enough to fulfil my request. It is of such 
 great consequence to me to know your decision, because I must be ready 
 to order all my future life accordingly. That is why I send these lines 
 so quickly after receiving your letter. You yourself expressed the wish 
 to hear from me soon. 
 
 About my health I beg you to trouble yourself as little as possible. 
 I have never been a robust man, nor accustomed to live without physical 
 ailments. In the summer I shall have to go to one of the baths some- 
 where. 
 
 I must certainly take up my piano-practice again seriously, for, even 
 if my fingers have not got stiff, I have no repertoire, and that is most 
 necessary, whether for public playing or for teaching. I hope really before 
 long to learn a dozen Beethoven Sonatas by heart. And I am not aufait 
 in new things, modern music, as there was no music-shop in St. Gall, and 
 I was not able to get new music from Winterthur, where there is a great 
 deal of musical life and classical taste ; all this I will now retrieve. As 
 regards composition I shall also have to yield to circumstances, and pro- 
 bably first to write pieces that will sell. Existence and consistency to 
 one's convictions occasionally contradict one another. But I shall not 
 lose courage ; God forbid ! 
 
 Farewell, dearest mother : try to love me again. 
 
 EDUAKD TO ERNST VON BULOW. 
 
 [May 1851.] 
 
 Hans has been with us for the last four weeks, well and bright, for 
 a rest after his veritable musical campaign in St. Gall. His labours there 
 have ended with honour. He has gone through a schooling such as no 
 other young musician of his age would easily do, and is now in a position 
 to conduct any orchestra. He is just now composing a string Quartet, 
 and intends after that to compose a Symphony to Aeschylus' ' Oresteia,' 
 which he is studying in the original for that purpose. In a fortnight 
 he goes to Munich, and thence to Liszt at Weimar, with whom he is to 
 live. 
 
 Thus young Billow started for his new destination, Weimar, which, in the 
 person of the honoured Master to whose guidance he now gave himself up, 
 contained all his hopes for the future. In spite of his apparent cheerfulness 
 and freedom from care, which he knew how to assume, a great earnestness lay 
 in the depths of his soul. 
 
 He writes to his sister before his departure from Otlishausen : 
 
 How my future will shape itself is all in the dark. After all, the
 
 78 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 words of your book-marker remain to me: "Aide-toi, le ciel t'aidera." 
 And not heaven alone, but all its storms and tempests too. Happy the 
 time when one still wishes them near, until and that is also a blessing 
 one is struck down by the lightning in the strength of one's youth. A 
 certain humour will remain to me, and it is not mingled with bitterness, 
 thank God !
 
 WEIMAR
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 WEIMAR. 
 
 8DMMER 1851 WINTER 1853. 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 WEIMAR, 17 'th June 1851. 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 I have now been about a week in Weimar, but have not 
 written to you, because I had not yet got things into order. Houses for 
 people like me, i.e. furnished rooms, were not to be had, so I was obliged 
 to stay at the hotel, until at last, through Raffs persuasion, I took up my 
 quarters in Liszt's house on the Altenburg. There, in the second storey 
 of the adjoining building, I have four beautiful rooms at my disposal, 
 but content myself with two properly speaking, with one in which, 
 close to my bed, stands a very fair piano. Liszt himself is away, gone 
 to Eilsen in Biickeburg, where Princess Wittgenstein is lying very ill. 
 When I arrived here Liszt was expected back at the beginning of July ; 
 but the latest tidings are different, and Liszt has had all his clothes sent 
 on to Eilsen, a proof that we must not expect him back yet awhile. He 
 has been informed of my arrival, and of my taking up my quarters in his 
 house, and has written fully about me to Raff, who at present fills his 
 place towards me. Liszt's plan is that I should first of all prepare 
 myself for the career of a virtuoso ; and, as it is very desirable that I 
 should speedily be able to earn for myself, I shall probably, after a couple 
 of months' requisite practice here, go to some of the neighbouring towns 
 and smaller Courts in order to make my public appearance as a pianist, 
 and indeed as a pupil of Liszt. So, for the present, I agree to do this, 
 and renounce any will of my own, in order to give myself up to " the 
 school of the dcole de Weimar," as Liszt writes to Raff. I have already 
 begun, and practise eight to ten hours a day. Thus I have in these few 
 
 F
 
 82 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 days drummed into myself a tremendously difficult Trio of Raffs, one with 
 which even Liszt had to take no end of trouble, and tomorrow evening I 
 shall play it before a small audience on Liszt's good piano with Joachim 
 and Cossmann I have never yet had two such capital players to play 
 with. Amongst the audience will be the democrats, Professor Stahr 
 and Fanny Lewald, who have both taken up their abode here for a long 
 time, and who, in spite of their different opinions, visit a good deal at the 
 Court. I am extremely delighted that people are so democratic here, as 
 one will not be obliged to parade one's opinions, because they are quite 
 without danger, and therefore without merit, and people don't get in a 
 rage and excite themselves for nothing. 
 
 With regard to composition, I am especially to learn to write some 
 pieces for my own instrument and for my own capabilities, i.e. full of in- 
 dividual difficulties, designed for me specially. I have not yet been able 
 to write a piano piece really suitable for the piano; and Raff says that is just 
 the reason I must learn to do it here. Well, as I said, I have given up my 
 self-government for the present, and am letting myself be be-Weimared : 
 but naturally I shall keep enough of my " ego " left to be able to judge of 
 the experiments which are being tried on me. I also want very much to 
 be able to speak with Liszt personally, but just at present that is impos- 
 sible ; for Liszt, away with his sick Princess and his head full of other 
 things, is not in a mood to trouble himself with outside affairs, and one 
 would gain nothing by writing. But to continue about what I began to 
 say. The string Quartet I began at Otlishausen I am now finishing, and 
 it will then be played. And then, after I have thoroughly studied the 
 pieces I now have in hand, I shall begin Liszt's first pianoforte Concerto 
 (still in manuscript), and when there is an opportunity of an orchestral 
 rehearsal I shall try it with them : Liszt has not yet played it here 
 himself. 
 
 Now you see, dear father, what I am doing and working at at the 
 present moment. I get up about six o'clock, and sit down to the piano in 
 a very neglige apparel (the popular costume of the future), arid set to work 
 at my hammering with a calm and peaceful soul. Liszt's cook makes my 
 breakfast in due form I think it won't be too dear ; Liszt's valet cleans 
 my boots and my clothes. Till one o'clock I stay at home ; Raff comes 
 to me every morning for half an hour to see how I am getting on ; as 
 yet he has only spoken favourably of my compositions. At half-past one 
 I dine at the ' Erbprinz ' ; this one must do, so as to be seen in good 
 society in Weimar, and to get to know other musicians, singers, etc. 
 After dinner I kill time by taking a walk for a couple of hours. Towards 
 four o'clock I generally go back to my hole again, and work till near nine, 
 when I go to supper in the town. By half-past ten I am usually back at
 
 WEIMAR. 83 
 
 home again, and extemporise on the piano by moonlight or otherwise it 
 makes no difference. As there is no second house-key, I have to climb up 
 into the courtyard over a tumbledown wall, and to get into the house 
 through a window which I can open from outside. 
 
 I shall probably continue living in the way I am doing now. I 
 shall not go to see Frau von X., because there is no good in doing so ; 
 and if one wants to kill time, if the utile is wanting, there must at 
 least be the dulce. I have got to know Stahr and the Lewald. The 
 former asked after you, and spoke of your earlier novel, and of the classic 
 novel of the fat sculptor. Did not you once tell me that Stahr wrote 
 a good critique on your writings? He has been writing lately about 
 Wagner's ' Lohengrin,' and since then he has also corresponded with him. 
 I like to listen to him, for he talks very sensibly, and no ' young-German,' 
 but like a man. But whether he is a great light I can't yet say. Joachim, 
 who often looked at me rather askance in Leipzig, is very pleasant to me 
 here in short, it does me no end of good to be amongst my own sort 
 again, who value me as far as I deserve it. I cannot tell you how that 
 everlasting knowing that one icas undervalued has embittered me and then 
 made me flag. 
 
 I have not yet been to the theatre ; on the 28th is ' Tannhauser ' (a 
 free performance), and very soon, i.e. before that, 'Don Juan.' Herr 
 Moritz is here with his wife, nee Rockel ; she is starring it here, and as 
 she is liked she will probably get a permanent engagement. 
 
 Raff hopes to obtain the post of Secretary to the Goethe Institution, 
 or to the Musical Department of the Library, and to draw a small salary. 
 
 Now I must go back a long way, and tell you about my journey. 
 
 So first Munich : I stayed there six days and looked about me, and, 
 with the exception of some tedious hours, I enjoyed myself. 
 
 After describing the sights of Munich, he continues : 
 
 He [Dingelstedt] wants to bring out ' Tannhauser ' next winter, but 
 Kapellmeister Lachner* will oppose this, who cares for none but the 
 classics (with the exception of himself). Altogether they are twenty to 
 thirty years behindhand in musical matters here ; whereas, in the north, 
 people are already beginning to sift the works of Mendelssohn and 
 Schumann, and to give them their acknowledged place. They have not 
 got so far in Munich as even to know them in a superficial manner. 
 Plenty of old fogeyism, but on the whole very little musical feeling ; the 
 
 * Franz Lachner (1803-90). From 1836 Hofkapellmeister [Court conductor], and 
 from 1852-68 General Director of Music in Munich, composer, master of counterpoint.
 
 84 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 music-shops are in a fearful condition. Speidel, himself a bit of a fogey, 
 is, properly speaking, the only pianist : he gives four to five hours' lessons 
 a day, has earned a little capital, and in the winter goes to Paris, there 
 to profit his soul a little. Then I could really very well take up Ihe 
 orphaned pianos and amateurs there, and find something else to do when 
 Speidel comes lack again. I am curious to know what Liszt will say to 
 such a thing ! I am quite in favour of it, and think it would be practi- 
 cable, and I should not set myself up in opposition to Speidel. This is 
 the result of my visit to Munich. In my hotel I met five Englishwomen 
 from Stuttgart, and gave them ample opportunity of misusing the French 
 language. At a piano -shop I played to Speidel and other young artists, 
 a violoncellist Goltermann, and others, and thus put myself in a proper 
 position of respect. 
 
 As regards the route of my journey, that by Coburg is the shorter, 
 if not also the pleasanter. I stayed the night in Nuremberg, which 
 Beemed to me the best plan ; but of this another time. 
 
 For today farewell, best father; keep me up in the Otlishausen 
 news, even if the most historic fact is the purchase of a goat. 
 
 TO FRANZ LISZT. 
 
 WEYMAR, 29M June 1851. 
 
 MY DEAR AND ILLUSTRIOUS MASTER, 
 
 I should have taken the liberty of writing to you long 
 ago, if I had not thought that your time was too full of sad preoccupa- 
 tions just now, and this, consequently, an ill-chosen moment to speak to you 
 of my personal affairs. Nevertheless I should not have delayed express- 
 ing my lively gratitude for the generous hospitality which Mr. Raff has 
 offered me in your name, if I had not felt the almost certainty, or at 
 least the hope so ardently shared by all your friends in Weymar of 
 your speedy return, a hope which has fallen through for the moment, to 
 my great regret. 
 
 I was far from expecting the gracious reception you have given me 
 in your letter, which gives me the opportunity of explaining frankly my 
 situation, and the intention with which I have come to Weymar. 
 
 It is a feeling of absolute confidence, both in your superiority and 
 experience as an artist, and in your former kindnesses to me, which has 
 brought me here ; I have come to beg you to judge of my musical powers, 
 and to advise me as to the best career for me in which to develop them, 
 and thus to secure for myself a more or less honourable position in 
 the artistic world,
 
 WEIMAR. 85 
 
 This resolution, which met with the entire approbation of my 
 parents on the one side, and, on the other, of our mutual friend, Mr. R. 
 Wagner, whose help I enjoyed last winter, and towards whom I feel 
 many obligations, was not however followed by any h'xed plan on the 
 subject of my future career. I repeat, I have come here to place my 
 fate unreservedly in your hands, and to proceed in the direction that you 
 may advise, without obtruding any preference or decisive sympathy for 
 one branch of a musician's career over another. I am only too happy to 
 have shaken off the yoke of a profession which was repugnant to me for 
 a thousand and one reasons, and from which I cannot regret having with- 
 drawn myself, except for the bluntness which I then considered indis- 
 pensable towards my mother, so worthy of my filial respect ; and there- 
 fore I do not mind what road you may map out for me. I am resolved 
 to devote myself with all possible ardour to whatever career you may 
 deem suitable, as I place my whole confidence in the clearness of your 
 judgment. 
 
 I want, moreover, to profit by all the advantages which the town of 
 Weymar, made illustrious by its modern hero, can offer to a disciple of 
 art, and I hope to be able to stay here till I have in some measure 
 attained my object either by the help of my mother, to whom I do 
 not despair of reconciling myself entirely, or else by earning the means 
 by my own activity. For to omit nothing in this confession which 
 might have a special influence on my future destiny my father is not 
 in a position to help me with his own fortune. 
 
 This, in few words, is my present position. Whilst awaiting your 
 return I will still take advantage of your hospitable kindness by culti- 
 vating my piano-playing at the Altenburg, neglected in Switzerland 
 for the business of conductor at poor theatres, an occupation which, 
 although it has not been altogether useless for me, would not suit me 
 again in similar circumstances. 
 
 Last night I heard ' Tannhauser.' how we missed your magic 
 wand, the breath of life, the soul of this inanimate body ! 
 
 Whilst begging you to continue to me your valuable protection, of 
 which you have given me fresh proofs, pray accept the respect and grati- 
 tude of 
 
 Yours most sincerely, 
 
 HANS DB BiiLow. 
 
 In a long letter to his father on the 6th July he writes : 
 
 I have been corresponding with Liszt for some time. He first of 
 all welcomed me by letter, and invited me to live at the Altenburg, and
 
 86 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 to consider myself at home there. His plan is as follows : he wishes me 
 to remain a year iu Weimar, and to drum into my brains, principally, 
 the newer works of his own, the bigger Sonatas of Beethoven, the best of 
 Chopin, Schumann in short, to make such a repertoire for myself as not 
 every pianist, or indeed no pianist, can show ; besides this, I am to study 
 instrumentation and that kind of thing, and am specially to learn to 
 write for the piano myself. He thinks it is necessary for me to have a 
 Hartel grand piano (a new one) from Leipzig, as the instrument I now 
 have is worth nothing. In short, Liszt thinks the days of real virtuosity 
 are not over, and he considers that I shall be capable of earning my 
 livelihood by concert-tours as his pupil and successor, for he himself has 
 entirely given up public playing. For this I should require, provisionally, 
 help (pecuniary) only until January '52. By that time I shall make my 
 appearance as a pianist in the neighbourhood, first at the Court here, 
 then at the Courts round about, at Erfurt, at the subscription concerts 
 in Leipzig, etc. Finally, in the winter of '52-'53 I am to make my first 
 concert-tour, possibly in company with Joachim, who is about my age, 
 and first of all in Paris. He is peremptory against Munich for next 
 winter ; he says I should learn nothing there, should not progress, and 
 should waste my powers. 
 
 My mother seems to be fairly well pleased with Liszt's plans; at 
 any rate she has a great opinion of Liszt's penetration and experience. 
 She also wrote, in a recent letter to Eaff (to whom I am most grateful for 
 his intervention in the matter), that she would provide me with the 
 necessary assistance in my career. 
 
 I am anxious to hear your opinion about Liszt's plan for me ; I do 
 hope that you will approve of what I am doing. I will not leave fallow 
 the executive skill which I have already, not without labour and pains, 
 attained. That the epoch of Virtuosi is not over of this one has proofs 
 every day, and I intend to do my very uttermost. Meanwhile Liszt's 
 personal presence here is not absolutely indispensable to me he does not 
 return till the beginning of August I have enough to go on with without 
 him. "With regard to the ' Oresteia,' I saw to my dismay on nearer inspec- 
 tion that I do not yet understand enough of instrumentation. I am 
 doing instrumentation at present as practice. The first movement is 
 however fully sketched out. For the rest, I am collecting and putting in 
 order my earlier compositions, so that I may be able to make some use of 
 them as opportunity offers ; a ' Phantasiestiick ' for piano and violin will 
 be ready shortly ; to write a good pianoforte movement is a thing I have 
 first to learn ; I cannot do it yet. For then the "Ego " would be created. 
 
 Saturday week was ' Tannhauser,' unfortunately not under Liszt's 
 conducting ; it was commanded in celebration of the marriage of Princess
 
 WEIMAR. 87 
 
 Auguste of Wiirtemberg to Prince Hermann, the cousin of the present 
 Grand Duke. The performance was very good. The public applauded 
 firstly the entrance of the grandees, who came punctually to the theatre 
 and remained till the last note, and then also every single number of the 
 opera with great enthusiasm. ' Tannhauser ' is so popular here with all 
 classes, more so than any other opera except ' Freischutz.' Although 
 Wagner has no melody at all, according to some people, yet one hears 
 them whistled all over the streets. That was a tremendous pleasure for 
 me ! Now the theatres are closed till the beginning of September. The 
 seal of the packet for Tieck was spoiled, and I had to seal it afresh. 
 Many thanks for the Allemannian poems ; the copy for Isa is going off 
 tomorrow. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 WEIMAR, th September 1851. 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 My heartiest wishes for your birthday ! I could wish, 
 for your sake, that it were over for this year, for I hope by this time 
 next year another sort of a congratulator will present himself to you, who 
 will be able to give you more satisfaction by some little success. I 
 believe you when you say that you cannot yet have any real confidence 
 in my present choice of a profession ; an unfinished, "going-to-be " sort of 
 man does not inspire confidence, and, although I cannot alter it, it often 
 makes me angry that I am placed in a position in which I can at most 
 lay claim to the title of " hopeful " that is to say, not entirely hopeless. 
 Happily the time for my patron Liszt's return is drawing near, so that 
 there will soon be an opportunity of seeing how things will turn out. 
 This news will ease your mind, as much as to me it is welcome news. 
 Liszt has already started some time ago, and the day after tomorrow, or 
 else the day after that, the musical Grand Duke will arrive for certain. 
 Then your son's history will begin to be somewhat more interesting than 
 it has been up to now, when I really have not much to say about him. 
 As a pianist I must have support and guidance ; it is high time for this, 
 and, as the most important thing in my immediate future is to cultivate 
 my powers as a Virtuoso, this must be the central point of all my en- 
 deavours, towards which I must brace myself up to special efforts. In 
 making these efforts I see, however, that I must not overlook due care 
 for my health. I have observed, namely, that my chest always suffers if 
 I do an unreasonable amount of practice, such as Litolff would have, if 
 you remember : and yet practice, as Wieck understands it, cannot in so
 
 88 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 short a time lead to the result which is at stake. Well, I follow the 
 golden middle course, and as I lead a very regular life, and almost always 
 get home about nine o'clock, and shall be able to continue doing so through 
 the winter, in spite of Liszt bringing a Hungarian guest, Czertaheli, back 
 with him, I shall not come to any bodily harm. Strange to say, I have 
 discovered that music sometimes works upon my nerves I who used to 
 boast of my hardiness in this respect. If I throw the blame of this on- 
 to the enervation of the modern musical ear in general a fact to which 
 I mean to give special study soon yet I have observed that it is Liszt's 
 compositions especially which affect my nerves most if I go on practising 
 them long, a weakness which I must get over, although even Kaff, the 
 musical architect, shares it in many points. 
 
 Kaff and Joachim continue to be my only company. I am delighted 
 to see that they think something of me, and seem to like to have me with 
 them. In the domain of learning [erudition] Raff is looking after me, 
 and willingly serves as my Mentor, to teach me all that is worthy of 
 knowing, and I see more and more that all this is necessary for the 
 musician of to-day. No one can do this better than Kaff, who is himself 
 just now deep in the sphere of fore-classical antiquity, busy witli the 
 poem for his ' Samson.' 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 [WEIMAR, 1851.] 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 I had already written to you this morning early, and 
 with my letter in my pocket I went up to the ' Erbprinz,' where Raff gave 
 me yours which had arrived meanwhile. I won't keep you waiting for 
 an answer to that, the more so as there are things in it which I must 
 frequently repeat so please excuse the rhapsodical postscript, which I 
 add at Raff's house directly after leaving the table. 
 
 One point which requires a speedy answer is that about the so- 
 called 'journalistic' business. I have not offered myself as a correspon- 
 dent to the Signale; Raff begged me to undertake it for him if I did not 
 mind. For the present I shall not do this. 
 
 On the other hand, I shall write for Brendel's paper (but for no 
 other), first, because the paper has a dignified, well-principled, erudite 
 attitude ; secondly, because it ensures the interests which Wagner and
 
 WEIMAR. 89 
 
 Liszt have in common, and because there are few people who can write 
 well and sensibly ; thirdly, because as an artist I shall belong to the 
 public, against which, moreover, I can't write the word " unfortunately." 
 
 It is my dearest wish to pay the utmost possible regard to your 
 desires, and to sacrifice to them any private wishes of my own, where I 
 possibly can do so. But you will agree that, in my immediate future, I 
 must not allow a plurality of authority to step in and settle things for 
 me ; nor do I specially like the principle of authority ; but there is one 
 authority that I shall for the present recognise and respect, and that is 
 Liszt's, and no one else's. 
 
 My own individuality will not be lost, it remains in God's care ; but 
 for the present the only right thing for me to do is to tack myself firmly 
 on to Liszt, and detach myself from anybody else. 
 
 I am dreadfully sorry that you cannot feel the same confidence in 
 Liszt which I feel, for if you did it would reassure you to know that I 
 shall do nothing without his advice or against his will. My working on 
 one musical paper, which I may make serviceable to him through my 
 own personality in several ways, can only be agreeable to him, and 
 I most earnestly beg that you will believe that I am old enough to go to 
 work circumspectly and rationally in my affairs. 
 
 You may be sure (I promise you this afresh) it shall be my earnest 
 endeavour to regard your wishes about me as far as possible. I cannot 
 do more, and cannot help it if I fail to carry out the ideas you have had 
 for me. The lapse of years, the peculiar course of my education, all 
 these lie in the way ; I can't help it any more than I can make my outer 
 appearance more pleasant or more important. 
 
 Please forgive the haste in which I have written. 
 
 Your grateful, affectionate son. 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 WEIMAR, 2nd October [1851]. 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 I have today received a third letter from you, and confess 
 that I am quite ashamed never to have responded until now to these proofs 
 of your fatherly friendship and sympathy. You will have guessed the 
 reason of my silence ; I wanted to wait until Liszt had returned, so as to 
 be able to write to you, as you have a right to expect, with some certainty 
 about my future plans. This, for me, most important event has up to 
 now been announced from week to week, but has not taken place, and
 
 90 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 unfortunately my patience has to undergo a still longer trial, till the end 
 of next month. 
 
 Nothing is changed in my mode of life and the work I am doing, 
 and things are going on as quietly and simply as heretofore. The greater 
 part of my time is devoted to piano-playing ; I have enough to do to 
 perfect my technique, as it is now a settled thing that my immediate 
 career is to depend upon my executive talent. Together with this, I have 
 written some new one- and two-part songs, with a view of perhaps pub- 
 lishing them pretty soon. Therefore I cannot think of the ' Oresteia ' 
 any more for the moment, but the grand subject will certainly incite me 
 again at a more favourable time ; I have, moreover, written out a few 
 sketches or ideas for it. For practice in style, in which I fully acknow- 
 ledge the principal faults you point out, and for other, personal reasons, I 
 am the correspondent from here of two musical papers in Leipzig (the two 
 which are most read, the Signale and the Neue Zeitschrift fur Musik}, 
 and send in also articles of other kinds just lately a rather long reply 
 to a Grenzbote critique of Eichard Wagner's ; in a couple of days will 
 follow a treatise on a rational performance of ' Don Juan,' one suitable 
 to the demands of modern opera. This I am not doing for money. 
 
 I also lately found another subject for an opera, on which I have at 
 once set to work. It is ' Merlin,' and it was Fr. Schlegel's ' Romantic 
 Poems of the Middle Ages ' that led me to it. I will write more fully 
 about it when I have got the thing clear in my own mind ; I find 
 it rather difficult to exclude from the subject all miraculous elements. 
 When the sketch is ready I will send it to you, and please give me your 
 opinion about it. 
 
 I have written such a lot about myself that I have only just remem- 
 bered my duty, namely, to let you know about mamma's visit. This was 
 how it came about. I had not written for a long time, thinking that 
 mamma was still embittered against me, and therefore I did not know 
 what to do. So, in order to know something about me for certain, she at 
 last came here. She spoke to Eaff first, before I knew she had arrived. 
 I then found her pretty calm ; she was quite disposed to be reconciled 
 to me, and the past was hardly mentioned. Although, as she says, she 
 cannot yet feel any confidence in my choice of a profession, yet she has 
 several times helped me up to now. So my old relation to mamma is 
 pretty nearly restored.
 
 WEIMAR. 91 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 WEIMAR, 1 5th October 1851. 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 Today I have to announce to you the long-delayed, 
 joyful tidings that my protector and master Liszt arrived at length last 
 Sunday evening in good health. I was at the station both morning and 
 noon to await his arrival ; but the servants, who were sent on in advance, 
 said he would not come till the last train, at ten o'clock. So I went 
 quite unconcernedly to hear ' Cortez ' music so full of power and 
 nobility, like a steel bath to be-Flotow'd ears. There he appeared 
 suddenly and unexpectedly a few yards before me in the stalls, as though 
 he had sprung from the earth by magic; a whisper ran through the 
 whole house and reached the orchestra, which during his absence had 
 run wild and gone to sleep in their terror they played twice as badly, 
 and Liszt got in a rage, and would have liked to seize the sceptre from 
 his humdrum deputy, and to have made an end to the easy-going 
 Philistine-anarchy by the despotism of his own conducting-genius, had 
 his scruples allowed it ; and as they did not allow it some one else got 
 in a rage also, and that was myself. 
 
 Liszt silently welcomed me, and eased his mind by pouring out 
 some of his ill-humour in my ear. After the theatre I had supper with 
 him, together with Joachim. The Princess looked very ill, but strange 
 to say has already got wonderfully better in these few days. She still 
 possesses her admirable eloquence and art of disputation; I doubt if 
 there ever was a woman of such astonishing knowledge and such quick 
 and penetrating intelligence. I shall probably now be promoted to the office 
 of house-disputator, as I am more accustomed to French than Kaff, . . . 
 
 Yesterday evening I was again alone at the supper, and went on 
 with a discussion with the Princess right into the night ; I could not 
 break off, but the wearied Liszt at length spared me the misery of 
 deciding between the two-fold dictates of courtesy. I played a couple of 
 pieces to him, in which the principal things he found fault with were a 
 want of the necessary precision and decision in rhythm, and of a certain 
 aplomb, in which, owing to my anxiety at the moment, I was more than 
 usually deficient. The first pieces I am to study with him next week 
 are, a Scherzo of Chopin, a Liszt-Schubert paraphrase, and Liszt's 
 transcription of the Wedding March from the ' Midsummer Night's 
 Dream.' 
 
 I must now hire a grand piano stiff enough to be of use to 
 my studies ; it will cost 4 reichsthaler a month on hire. Liszt has
 
 92 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 again explained to me what are his views with regard to my future 
 career. . . . 
 
 He thinks now that he shall in any case spend the winter here, 
 and, as the new theatre management is making polite advances to him, 
 it seems as though he would be very much occupied for Art-life here. 
 
 Of my Doctorate work I am also thinking ; I hope to be clear 
 about it in a year. It will be a big work, for there is a great deal in it, 
 and it requires deep study. 
 
 I have a lot of other letters to write today to Uhlig, Franz, 
 Brendel, etc. So farewell for today, dear mother, with the exclamation 
 " Lons live Liszt ! " 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 WEIMAR, 25th October 1851. 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 I ought to have told you a week ago the gospel of the 
 happy arrival of Liszt, so impatiently awaited on all sides, but especially 
 by me ; but the very fact of his arrival has made me so busy that I have 
 never had a quiet moment till now to write to you. Outwardly, Liszt's 
 return has indeed made but little change in my very simple, customary 
 life in Weimar, for I am enjoying his hospitality as before in the matter 
 of rooms, breakfast, and service, things which I can really accept without 
 scruple in such a large household with so many empty rooms ; but my 
 labours have greatly increased. To the most important matters first. In 
 his first conversation with me, which took place the day after his return, 
 he recapitulated to me again what I have already written to you. . . . 
 He considers that music-conducting, in circumstances such as those 
 which I have already experienced and while I am so young I shall 
 certainly not find any better is a very unsuitable means for rising in 
 my profession ; that it very seldom happens that a man is promoted 
 from an insignificant to a distinguished position ; and hat, in order to 
 be able to lay claim to such an one, I must first put myself into the 
 position of being perfectly well able to do without it, an d standing inde- 
 pendently on my own merits, which it would not be difficult for me 
 as a Virtuoso to attain. Well, when I had gone through my piano 
 examination with him, in which I very much pleased him by a rather 
 happy performance of one of his most difficult piano pieces, this was 
 pretty much the judgment that he passed upon me : he says he places
 
 WEIMAR. 93 
 
 positive, well-grounded hopes on me ; and more than hopes indeed (he 
 has desired me also to write and tell you this), for he says I shall, now 
 that he has once for all retired from puhlic playing, be able to take up 
 again the position of a Virtuoso where he has left it. Eight months with 
 him will be amply sufficient for my preparation granted, of course, the 
 necessary industry on my side ; then I am to make my debut perhaps in 
 Berlin, or, better still, in Vienna, and go thence to Paris and London. 
 Within three years I shall have attained my object that is, an assured 
 independence ; I may consider him as surety for this. 
 
 I on my side, in my inexperience, not only require to seek the sup- 
 port of an authority like Liszt, to attach myself closely to him and 
 strictly to follow his advice, but I also have such great confidence in his 
 knowledge of the world and mankind that, without being afraid of the 
 "jurare in verba magistri," I have made him unconditionally the arbiter 
 of my fate, and have told him so. So I now devote the greater part of 
 my time, four to five hours daily, exclusively to the cultivation of my 
 technique ; I martyrise the eventual founders of my material prosperity ; 
 I crucify, like a good Christ, the flesh of my fingers, in order to make 
 them obedient, submissive machines to the mind, as a pianist must It 
 is also quite right, and for the simplest reasons very delightful to me too, 
 to be able to do something for him in return for the great kindness he 
 shows me he gives me regular lessons. So I am now making a copy of 
 his excellent arrangement of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony for two 
 pianos, which he has also promised to play with me sometime ; it is 
 certainly a laborious and minute piece of work, but meanwhile it teaches 
 me the score by heart ; I am also translating his ' Tannhauser ' article (of 
 the same length as the one on ' Lohengrin ') for the Illustrirte Zeitung. 
 I also occasionally act as his secretary but this is a secret. At the 
 beginning of next year Liszt will introduce me at Court, where I shall 
 in all probability play. 
 
 If possible I shall do my Doctorate's work before my first concert- 
 tour. The subject is ' The History of the Belief in Immortality.' 
 Liszt was 40 three days ago. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER 
 
 WEYMAR, 2lst November 1851. 
 MY DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 The letter you have just written to me after your long 
 silence has made me very sad, for it proves pretty clearly to me that the
 
 94 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 events of the past year have greatly shaken, if not enfeebled, your love 
 and your motherly indulgence a fact which I liked to think was not so. 
 
 You were more prompt formerly to forgive me a hasty word spoken 
 in an unhappy moment of wounded pride, and you were not wrong in 
 thinking, as I suppose you did, that sooner or later I should be the first 
 to repent sincerely. Do not, I pray, have a worse opinion of my 
 character today, the principal defect of which is perhaps an extreme 
 irritability, an innate fault, stronger sometimes than my will itself, and 
 of which I have not been able yet entirely to cure myself. That is why 
 I have been extremely sensitive to the heartrending doubt you cast on 
 my sincerity. 
 
 Don't you remember too the definition which our mutual friend 
 Litolff gave of my character in this respect? "He hates all kind of 
 demonstration and display." 
 
 Nothing is truer, you may be sure of that, and if I make an 
 exception it is because my heart is in it ; and I protest strongly against 
 the accusation that I have no heart. I have been very unhappy about 
 it, and it has been on my mind for many days. As you and I have the 
 same tastes in many things, so it is with our affections. Remember how 
 many a time a sharp and unkind letter has remained on your mind for 
 whole weeks, and made you incapable of every more tender feeling. 
 Well, I share this sensibility, though in a lesser degree. The thought 
 that anyone I love, who is writing to me, is ill-disposed towards me and 
 bears me a grudge, makes me miserable and uneasy. I assure you that 
 your letter has made my various work, with which at the moment I am 
 overdone, much more difficult. Let me beg you once more, my dear 
 mother, to write to me some kinder words soon, which will show me 
 that your anger is somewhat pacified, and has given place to the 
 indulgence and kindness to which you have accustomed me. I appeal to 
 your judgment, "sine ira et studio," whether you have not really a son too 
 German to make fine speeches, and I beg that you will take these simple 
 lines, full of divers Teutonisms, as a piece of justification. 
 
 I am very glad to be able to give you today two pieces of news 
 which, I hope, will not vex you, although they tend to bring me more 
 into publicity. 
 
 1. On the 2nd December I shall appear for the first time as an 
 artist-pianist (up to now it has only been as an amateur-pianist) in the 
 second of the Quartet-Soirees that Joachim, Cossmann and other 
 musicians have begun to give to the "Weimar people, at a price unheard of 
 for Weimar, but fixed by Liszt at one thaler per concert, or a sub- 
 scription ticket of three thalers for the four. Consequently only the best 
 society frequents them, but in pretty large numbers ; the entire Court
 
 WEIMAR. 95 
 
 and the Grand-Ducal family also come. I shall play Schumann's 
 Quintet, not a particularly brilliant piece, but one that makes a sure 
 effect, and is easy to understand. 
 
 2. On December 7th, on the occasion of the performance of 
 Shakespeare's ' Julius Csesar,' Liszt himself will conduct an Overture and 
 a March composed, but not yet completely instrumentated, by M. votre 
 jUs, hater of demonstrations, but who, in spite of that, would not be 
 displeased with an encouraging demonstration on the part of the public 
 on this occasion. My Overture is tolerably original and interesting, accord- 
 ing to what Liszt says. You may well imagine that I am burning with 
 impatience to see this memorable day arrive. With regard to Reissiger, 
 I do not recollect the slightest incident which could have sown discord 
 between my ex-ideal and me (from the time when a holy flame filled my 
 soul, greedy of quavers and sharps, for the unhappy 'Adele de Foix,* 
 ma foi, une fois,' etc.). 
 
 As to my relations with Liszt, I have every reason to be satisfied. 
 I have the most sincere attachment for him, and I endeavour to prove it 
 to him. This attachment is not merely based upon gratitude, but also 
 comes from a sympathy which is quite involuntary, for the mere sight of 
 his noble and expressive features rejoices and expands my soul. I need 
 not describe to you in detail the healthy and encouraging influence 
 which his presence exercises in so many ways on all those around him, 
 and especially on a pupil who enjoys his more intimate friendship and 
 protection. Enough that, although beset by work of all kinds, he 
 regularly devotes two consecutive hours a week to my development as a 
 pianist, and I find every time new matter for admiration of his genius ; 
 and as my intelligence, thanks to .Nature (which has been less stingy to 
 me in this respect than to many others), is not very slow in divining his 
 hints, I flatter myself that my musical education does not go much 
 against the grain with him. Apart from the lessons I see him almost 
 every day, either in the afternoon in company with other artists or with 
 strangers, or else at the family supper in the evening. In a word, Liszt 
 does far more for me than just fulfil his promises. I am happy to be 
 able to do some small services for him, such as copying his manuscripts, 
 or doing some of his commissions by correspondence. 
 
 You would rejoice if you could hear me practising for some hours 
 a day at Czerny's School of Virtuosity with a sangfroid and tenacity 
 which even astonish me. Apropos, I had to pay rather dear for this 
 work, as well as for some other pieces, Studies of Chopin and Henselt 
 and Schumann's Quintet, which cost a good deal. Although I try to 
 
 * Opera of Reissiger.
 
 96 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 spend as little as possible I have not been to the theatre for a month 
 living costs me more here, in spite of all the advantages I enjoy, than in 
 any other town living alone. The piano, the tuner, washing, correspon- 
 dence, all these devour more of my allowance than in Berlin, to say 
 nothing of the shoemaker, who is especially favoured by the bad 
 pavement here. The other day Ziegesar * invited me to a small party 
 at his house ; Liszt played a Trio of Beethoven, and enchanted even 
 the musicians themselves, which means a great deal. The Hereditary 
 Prince also put in an appearance for a short time. 
 
 I am so busy that I don't know what to do first. The tidings I 
 have just received from my father are pretty satisfactory. I should be 
 very much obliged if you would send me shortly, with a few lines in 
 reply, Chopin's separate Studies, which are at home. Farewell. 
 
 TO THEODOR UHLTG t (DRESDEN). 
 
 WEIMAR, 22th November 1851. 
 
 MY DEAR FRIEND, 
 
 At this moment I am engaged on work at 
 
 home, that is to say, with the composition of an Overture and March, 
 and possibly also other music, to the ' Julius Caesar ' of Shakespeare, 
 Schlegel, Laube and Genast. This music or unmusic (Unmusik) is to 
 be given on the 14th of next month in the theatre here, and I am 
 longing to hear my first great score. I instrumentate rather slowly and 
 deliberately, so that this egotistical occupation takes up all my time. 
 The work is rather a long one, heavily scored and difficult ; and written 
 somewhat in the rude style of the ' Eienzi ' Overture, without its grand 
 ideas. If it sounds at all decent, perhaps I'll send it to Dresden. 
 
 Next Tuesday I have to play Schumann's Quintet at the second 
 Quartet-Soiree here two debuts pretty close together. My friends in 
 art must be glad about this, for by these public performances (provided 
 they don't go badly) their party gains in me, who until now appeared 
 only as a decayed nobleman, with something of the amateur still clinging 
 to him, and only just good enough to run alongside of them. So pray 
 for me ! 
 
 * The theatre manager at that time. 
 
 t Theodor Uhlig, a gifted musician and writer, well known as one of the friends 
 aud warmest champions of Wagner. Died in 1853.
 
 WEIMAR. 97 
 
 For Brendel's paper I have found no time to work lately. I have 
 got him a Berlin correspondent, so you see I have not been entirely 
 egotistical. 
 
 I fancy that you will prefer to read the enclosures rather than my 
 unreadable scrawl. This reminds me of the necessary explanation : 
 
 1. I send you herewith the first article you wanted, which the 
 " martyr to truth " but no, he appears to be really a very decent sort of 
 man declined to take. The red-pencil marks are his ; if you can make 
 any use of the best jokes in it, pray do so. 
 
 2. In case you have not yet read Heine's ' Romancero,' I send you 
 a selection, which I have copied for you. So he still remains the German 
 Aristophanes (as Stahr calls him), until a greater one appears. 
 
 3. You will find the letter you wanted from Robert Franz. * He 
 has begged me not to disclose the secret of his authorship. So, if you 
 have it printed, please keep it anonymous, i.e. without Robert's name. 
 Perhaps I can persuade Franz later on to withdraw this prohibition. 
 
 I have been able to do as yet very little don't scold me at the 
 translation, and I shall not be able to finish it before New Year. If you 
 can find someone else who can do it quicker, do give it to him ; but if 
 there is time, then have patience with me. 
 
 In, confidence : the time which Liszt devotes to me, the hospitality 
 which he has shown me, these make me very anxious and happy to be 
 able to do anything for him in return. I know you will agree with me in 
 this. The limits which this sets to my time appear but a small sacrifice 
 in comparison with all I have received. 
 
 In the Gazette Musicale, which Liszt takes in addition to the 
 France Musicale and the Diapason (a Belgian paper), nothing has yet 
 appeared about your capital adaptation of Roger. I don't need to tell 
 you how much I rejoice in all your articles, and how fully I agree with 
 you. With regard to Schumann, his later works that is to say, for 
 many years past have been quite antipathetic to me on account of the 
 humdrum, narrow-minded good-citizenship that prevails in them. A 
 laudable exception to this is the very beautiful Overture to the ' Bride 
 of Messina,' which Brendel unfortunately has not fully appreciated. 
 
 As you are aware, even longer than I am, that there is nothing to 
 be done with 'Siegfried' in the immediate future, as Wagner wants to 
 write a Trilogy, and has altered his whole plan, it leaves us some hope 
 
 * Printed in the Neue Zeitschrift fur Musik, 26th March 1852, No. 13, page 
 142, signed by Robert Franz. 
 
 G
 
 98 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 for the ' Flying Dutchman ' ; the Princess is tremendously in favour of it, 
 and has long been urging Liszt to do it. 
 Please kindly excuse haste. 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 WEIMAR, 14//t December 1851. 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 I have chosen to write to you the day after 
 rather than the evening before a great event it is only a pity that the 
 surprise comes so late, for I should so have liked to give you this 
 amusement on your birthday. You will be impatient to learn without 
 more ado what this said great event can be ; I refer you to the enclosed 
 theatre-bill, and add also that it is my first public appearance as a 
 composer. During the last month the ambition and impulse to produce 
 something suddenly seized me. c Julius Csesar ' was shortly to be acted, 
 and the idea, which had once seized upon me at a very immature period 
 of my life, to write music to it, took hold of me again. I read the 
 tragedy through again, and it really inspired me to a task which I have 
 carried through with industry and love ; . . . twice lately I have had to 
 work by night in addition. Liszt was exceedingly pleased with the 
 sketch of it, and encouraged me throughout. He studied the rather 
 difficult Overture with great care, and conducted the performance 
 himself. So my debut as a composer was in no way mesquin, and it 
 conduces no little to my pleasure that I have not disgraced my father 
 thereby. Don't laugh at me if after my first success I am a little elated 
 and jolly, and express to you quite simply my hope that in the eleventh 
 edition of Brockhaus's ' Conversationslexikon ' I shall have a little corner 
 after you : by that time I think I shall achieve the distinction. To 
 return to our starting-point ; the Overture was received with lively 
 applause, only I was vexed at the noise, at first rather loud, in the 
 Galerie noble, for whom my rather serious and long Overture was not 
 adapted. This noise did not cease till the very prominent trombone 
 Kecitative " Et tu, Brute," followed by a bar's rest captatio benevolentice 
 to you at which those " candidates for the lantern " * were alarmed 
 when they heard their own voices. A "War March between the fifth and 
 sixth Acts, f conducted by Stor, was also very successful ; it sinned less 
 
 * Meaning ' aristocrats ; ' the occupants of the Galerie noble. 
 t Evidently an arrangement for the German stage, probably by Genast and 
 others, which would account for a sixth act,
 
 WEIMAR. 99 
 
 against modern taste than the Overture. The theatre music and a well- 
 thought-out melodrama for the appearance of the ghosts also made a good 
 effect. For the second performance I shall also write the prescribed 
 battle music in the orchestra during the change of scene ; then they will 
 put on the bill " Overture and Incidental Music by," etc. 
 
 The performance of the tragedy, as a whole, was very bad, except 
 the decorations and scenes with the populace, which went excellently. 
 
 Last Tuesday I also made my first appearance in public in Weimar as 
 a pianist. For I had already been heard at certain large partie?, which I 
 could not get out of, as Liszt took me to them. The occasion of my 
 debut as a pianist was the second concert of the Quartet-Academy 
 we have here a most excellent Quartet at which modern chamber-music 
 was to be produced. The first was set aside for the usual trefoil of 
 Haydn, Mozart and Beethoven ; the last will give three Quartets of 
 Beethoven from his different periods. The choice was not a thankful 
 one for the piano, but opportune for me. It was a Quintet of Robert 
 Schumann one of his early works, full of freshness and spirit, and 
 generally of a lively character. I am sure it would have met your 
 approval if you had heard it, and your lasting approval too, not a pass- 
 ing one, such as you felt for the ' Waldscenen.' In short, the piece 
 pleased quite tremendously for Weimar, and I earned the most unex- 
 pected and brilliant praise for it. 
 
 With regard to my present occupations, I have first of all to work 
 for Liszt and for the Brendel paper, especially to write articles on piano- 
 composition in the spirit of Liszt. Then I am also getting ready a couple 
 of new books of songs (for eventual publication), a couple of pieces for 
 piano and violin, and a Trio. Before I set to work on a larger dramatic 
 subject I want to write a good deal of specific music, so as to get thoroughly 
 into the routine of it. I am so happy that for once and away I have 
 done something well, and had a success. It will make the work go all 
 the quicker now. One humble question : Could you, without having 
 any further trouble, ask Tieck to give his protection to my ' Caesar ' Music 
 in Berlin 1 
 
 TO FRAU RITTER (DRESDEN). 
 
 DRESDEN, 2Qth December 1851. 
 DEAR MADAM, 
 
 Do not be surprised that these lines have to take the 
 place of a call upon you, on which I had been so much counting, and 
 which I am obliged with bitter tears to renounce. No doubt you know
 
 100 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 all about me ; your son, my dearest friend iu all the world, will probably 
 have told you about the time we spent together in Switzerland. You have 
 probably also heard about the turning-point of my career there, since my 
 mother's generosity enabled me, in spite of her deeply-rooted and uncon- 
 querable aversion from my adopting an artistic career, to carry on my 
 studies, under Liszt's guidance in Weimar, to the desired end of a com- 
 plete material independence. 
 
 My mother, who has really suffered very greatly through me, and 
 who most earnestly desires a reconciliation between us, invited me to spend 
 the Christmas holidays with her in Dresden. When I arrived here, the 
 first indispensable condition of pardon for the wrong I had done my 
 mother was that I should avoid all intercourse with the dearest friend of 
 my youth, your son. Dreadfully hard as this sacrifice is to mo, bitter as 
 are the tears that this decision has cost me, and little as I would have 
 undertaken the journey to Dresden had I known of this beforehand, yet 
 I have not the courage to go against this first indispensable condition of a 
 reconciliation with my mother, however inexplicable it may in some ways 
 seem to me. A sentiment of reverence, which I think you, dearest Madam, 
 will be the first to appreciate, makes me feel that it it is my duty, at any 
 cost, to bring about this reconciliation. 
 
 You will pity me if you reflect how sad and unhappy it must make 
 me to think that tomorrow I shall be so near to my beloved Karl, and yet 
 not daring to enjoy the longed-for happiness of seeing him again. I wish 
 I could run away, for I do not know how I shall bear it. Happily 
 the misery will not last long, as in 2 or 3 days I return to Weimar. 
 But at the beginning of January, somewhere about the 7th or 10th, 
 ' Lohengrin ' will be given. If Karl would come and see me then, and 
 perhaps his dear brother with him, it would make me endlessly happy, 
 and make up for these miserable days now. 
 
 I hope that Karl's just pride will allow of this ! By what I know 
 of you I do not feel afraid that he will be hurt by this letter. Beg your 
 sons I appeal to your motherly love to continue to like me which will 
 bind me to them for ever. 
 
 Farewell. With most sincere respect, 
 
 H. G. v. BtfLow. 
 
 Forgive the evident signs of an emotion which I could not master.
 
 WEIMAR. 101 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 WEIMAR, 21st January 1852. 
 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 1 have so many things to thank you for that I am quite 
 puzzled where to begin. And since I received your Christmas letter so 
 much time has elapsed, that I must go back .a long way in order to tell 
 you everything. Luckily today I have time for this until now I have 
 tried in vain to get several consecutive free hours in which to write to 
 you fully, for in paltry little notes one can't say much, and they are 
 merely a conglomeration of news in a more or less laconic form, which, 
 after all, requires amplifying in the end. 
 
 From the 25th December until my birthday I was in Dresden. 
 There I received your letter, for which my warmest thanks ; it gave me 
 as much pleasure as the news of my success as a composer seems to have 
 given you. The present you enclosed was no less valuable as a token of 
 your loving sympathy than it was welcome in itself. I wanted to be 
 back in Weimar for the New Year : I had given up the hope of hearing 
 my ' Caesar ' Music, which was to be repeated there with the tragedy on 
 the 28th December. This time Liszt did not conduct it again, as it was 
 enough for him to have studied it and introduced me as the author by 
 conducting it himself on the first occasion. But the performance of 
 'Antony and Cleopatra,' even though an arrangement of it by the 
 Court Steward, Liittichau, enchained me to Dresden a couple of days 
 longer, and then a less pleasant visitor, in the shape of my headache, 
 which recurs regularly every half-year, and which made me for several 
 days incapable of thinking. Oil my return journey on the 8th I was 
 obliged to stay two nights at Leipzig. Liszt had given me a heap of 
 commissions to do for him there, and had also taken the opportunity of 
 giving me the warmest and most flattering letters of introduction to 
 Kistner, Hartel, David and others. It appears that before Liszt returned 
 to Weimar (in October) he stopped at Leipzig, and, as he mentioned 
 me as one of the pupils awaiting him, people told him the most awful 
 tales about my humble self. Madame David said : " Mais il est d'une 
 impertinence affreuse." Moscheles and his wife had the idea that I was 
 such a mad revolutionist that it was impossible to have any sensible talk 
 with me. Others said that I had once made a scandal amongst my 
 relations by inveighing against Mendelssohn before everybody (not a 
 word of which is true) ; that I am an eccentric, crazed fellow, who pos- 
 sesses the idiosyncrasy of enjoying nothing but Wagner's music, and so 
 forth. In short, you see that Liszt's mode of procedure was not super-
 
 102 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 fluous, and was very timely, as next year, when I begin my concert-tours, 
 I must also make my debut in Leipzig. Liszt's letter of introduction to 
 Kistner drew from him the exclamation of astonishment : " Well, you 
 must have cut out all the others who surround Liszt, for you seem now 
 to be his favourite ! " 
 
 Well, when I had done all Liszt's and my own commissions in 
 Leipzig, and got back here again, where I was warmly welcomed by my 
 friends, I found everybody full of the preparations for a second perform- 
 ance of ' Lohengrin,' and I also found work to do at once. I had to write 
 about a dozen letters of invitation ; and as strangers were coming from 
 many cities, as the confederates used to come to the Olympic Games 
 thousands of years ago, I was appointed to do the honours of Weimar to 
 them, whereby my purse of " time-money " was pretty well drained, cer- 
 tainly not altogether without regard " pour le roi de Prusse," whereby, on 
 the contrary, much that is useful and necessary is gained. 
 
 After an enchanting evening of ' Lohengrin,' which I can never 
 forget, and after the visitors had departed a few days later, fresh work 
 awaited me. Liszt was in a great hurry for the copy of the arrange- 
 ment of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony for two pianos, which I had 
 promised him : I had not been able to finish this rather tremendous 
 piece of work before Christmas, being extremely occupied at that time 
 pro domo, in spite of which I often went without my dinner in order to 
 lose no time, and for something like five to six days I did not get to 
 bed till near three o'clock in the morning fatigues which rather knocked 
 me up and made me look ill, but from which I entirely recovered in 
 Dresden by an absolute " utile far niente." Now comes suddenly a charity 
 concert in addition, for which Liszt, in spite of his dislike to mixing 
 heathen Art with Christian " caritas," was obliged to do something. This 
 something consisted in making me appear again as a pianist in public, 
 a practice which is of essential use to me, as it is by such opportunities 
 here in Weimar alone that I can get over that miserable nervousness in 
 public playing, from which I have begun to suffer again for some time 
 past. I send you herewith the programme, which you can put with the 
 rest of your collection of trophies. I gave universal satisfaction. I 
 must also take this opportunity of explaining to you the misunderstand- 
 ing which my account of my first appearance here as a pianist occasioned 
 you. The piece which I had then chosen for one of the Quartet even- 
 ings, which are designed for serious chamber-music, answered the 
 purpose in view, but just on that account was no virtuoso piece. Of 
 course virtuosity was required in the performance of it, and it was no 
 wonder that in this ensemble piece my special talent for execution should 
 be made prominent. So the thing is as follows : at my first appearance I
 
 WEIMAR. 103 
 
 had more opportunity to show off the piano-playing musician, whilst at 
 the concert that has just taken place it was rather an opportunity to 
 show forth the technical pianist. Liszt was satisfied with me on both 
 occasions, and equally so with the recognition I obtained from the 
 Weimar public. 
 
 With regard to my studies as a Virtuoso in the coming time 
 these will have special attention, though not quite exclusively so. 
 Liszt's opinion, that through the career of a pianist I shall, in three to 
 four years, attain a material independence, which must be the first aim 
 for my future, has become strengthened in the course of the time which 
 I have passed with him, and he expressed this to me only yesterday in a 
 long talk with me, somewhat in the following manner ; " I might make 
 use of you here as I could of no one else, to help me in my post of 
 conductor, and might also help you to a position in the Institute here in 
 a short time ; but I consider that this would be an injustice to your 
 future, as, by the other road (the career of a Virtuoso), you can attain 
 the same end in a more brilliant, more favourable, and even a shorter 
 way. Now you would naturally take a subordinate place (possibly 
 as second music-director), and perhaps you would not find it so easy 
 to get out of it : but in any case by this (what I may call bureau- 
 cratic road) you could never rise step by step to a higher position as 
 conductor at, say, Berlin, Dresden or Munich. Posts such as these one 
 gets all in a moment, for one is appointed to them ; wait, therefore, for 
 such an appointment as this, when you are materially independent and 
 set on a firm footing by the results of your career as a pianist, for which, 
 then, you will not have to wait so long." Perhaps he will write to you 
 himself. Your letter, for which my best thanks in his name and then 
 in my own, has pleased him. He sends his best remembrances to you, 
 and is very sorry that just at this moment he is not able to answer you 
 that is what he said to me a fortnight ago as he is uncommonly 
 busy. The first four months of the year he always devotes entirely to 
 the opera, as it is the custom always to give a new opera every time there 
 is a Grand-Ducal birthday, all of which fall in the months of February 
 and March. On the 16th February Berlioz's opera ' Benvenuto Cellini,' 
 which made a half fiasco in Paris a long time ago, is to be given ; the 
 composer probably to be present at it. I am delighted to think of 
 making his acquaintance. Although I don't at all like the course which 
 Berlioz pursues anti-Wagnerian, pseudo-imitation of Beethoven yet 
 his genius, which stands forth in so many departments of his art, 
 interests me, and to it the later development of music has much cause to 
 be grateful for its rich technical acquirements, especially in regard to 
 instrumentation. Berlioz has taken the initiative in many innovations,
 
 104 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 and has shown the right practical application of them. He is certainly a 
 Frenchman through and through, and his brilliancy rests on externals. 
 That Liszt produces his opera is due, in the first place, to his personal 
 friendship for him ; and, secondly, to the motive which, if not altogether 
 an unqualified one, is nevertheless very meritorious, of doing justice to a 
 man who is almost more misjudged in Germany than in his own country. 
 Another motive is also that of raising singers and orchestra (of the 
 nation which stands foremost in its indolence and ignorant arrogance) to 
 a higher level, by making them undertake difficult and unaccustomed 
 tasks. This French and Italian rubbish which, since the July Revolu- 
 tion, has made its way on all the German stages, has really done 
 incalculable harm. These composers are obedient slaves of the singers, 
 to whom they leave absolute freedom, in return for which the latter, it 
 is true, push on their rubbish, only, with success ; and the singers are 
 so spoiled by them that they will not any longer submit to the yoke 
 of a correct declamation and dramatic expression laid upon them by 
 Wagner and Gluck, and even hardly trouble themselves to fulfil the 
 very moderate demands of Cherubini and Spontini, or of Weber, Spohr 
 and Marschner. Liszt alone cannot put an end to this scandal, but the 
 sight of a living conductor indeed the only really active one under- 
 taking, and successfully carrying through, the work of a radical regenera- 
 tion of opera, so far as such a thing is possible under present political 
 and social conditions, may perhaps wake up the rising generation. 
 Amongst other important novelties in art we are to have Byron's 
 ' Manfred ' in March I don't know which translation with Schumann's 
 music. Liszt is very much intercepted in his great plans just now by 
 Beaulieu, the Intendant of the moment. Next season, however, Liszt's 
 friend, Herr v. Ziegesar, who is now quite well again, will resume the 
 reins of government, and then Wagner's ' Fliegender Hollander,' and 
 Gluck's ' Iphigenia in Aulis,' with Wagner's arrangement, will be 
 resumed. I myself take a deep personal interest in the change of 
 Intendant : under the present one, who is very stingy with free tickets, I 
 cannot get any ; I almost had to pay to get in to hear my own music ! 
 So I go very little to the theatre now on that account, and indeed my 
 former passion for it has greatly diminished ; sometimes, but only very 
 occasionally, Liszt orders a free ticket to be given to me. The editor of 
 the official paper, a Dr. v. Mangolt from Dresden, lately appointed here, 
 a man of pretty liberal opinions for there is still some individuality in 
 opinion here even he has received no free tickets ! Under Ziegesar I 
 am certain to be thought of. 
 
 Next Monday Soutag makes her appearance here, and vouchsafes 
 the artistic performance of a forty-eight-years-old soubrette in the
 
 WEIMAR. 105 
 
 'Figliadel Regimento ' ; the following Wednesday she will sing once 
 more, either Martha, or Rosina in the ' Barbiere.' I confess that I am 
 not in the least anxious for this treat ; and added to this I should never 
 call Sontag an artist in the true sense of the word, on account of this 
 wretched choice of hers (always excepting the 'Barbiere'). The prices, 
 which will be trebled for one evening she is certain to receive one 
 hundred louis d'or would also further restrain me from satisfying my 
 curiosity, but Liszt has managed to have a place kept for me. 
 
 Amongst other things I have the bad habit of hopping about from one 
 thing to another in my letters, and because my pen cannot catch up my 
 thoughts, in which there is occasionally a dearth, owing to a musical idea 
 coming into my head between-times, I make the most extraordinary leaps 
 in all directions in what I write. It is all very well for me to determine 
 to write a proper letter ; in the most favourable case it only results in a 
 larger and more careless note. I can't fix my mind on a continuous 
 chain of thought, and wander about in a sort of anarchical way, from 
 innate propensity. 
 
 I will now tell you briefly my plans for the immediate future, my 
 studies, and the work I am doing. The principal thing for me is of 
 course to work as hard as possible at the piano, and to prepare an 
 extensive repertoire for my concert-tours. Liszt has decided this him- 
 self, and also that I should make a successive study of the pieces 
 selected. As regards composition, I am now doing an Overture to 
 ' Romeo and Juliet,' the musico-philosophic plan of which not of 
 course after Gervinus and Flathe is already prepared, and some definite 
 ideas are collected : at the same time I shall work at a Pianoforte Trio, a 
 work in which, in consideration of its specific musical basis, there will be 
 less of the virtuoso element. A new book of songs, dedicated to our 
 best singer, Frau v. Milde, with whom I am on good terms, will be 
 ready immediately. At the beginning of February I am also to blossom 
 forth as a schoolmaster. A young pianiste, Fraulein Soest from Goslar, 
 daughter of an officer, is coming, I believe, to take lessons from Liszt. 
 Liszt has no time for this, so will only overlook her once a month, and 
 I am to take his place by giving one hour's lesson a week for one thaler. 
 I don't know what I shall look like when I receive the money ; I believe 
 I shall send it back at any rate I have the greatest objection in my own 
 mind to receiving payment like a plebeian and yet I shall certainly want 
 it all the same. Besides these things I have mentioned, the coming 
 time will give me much to hear and to study. My work as a writer is 
 involved with my position to Liszt on the one side, and with Wagner on 
 the other. The latter branch of it gives me less to do than the former. 
 I have just had a great discussion with the Grenzbote about both of
 
 106 HANS VON B0LOW. 
 
 them, and have carried it through to the great entertainment of my 
 friends. The article about Rellstab you must have ; it would be a 
 shame if it were to be lost. I shall write to Kellstab perhaps he has 
 kept it and beg for a copy. 
 
 As regards politics, I am delighted at your promised omission on 
 this unrefreshing topic. I am the old, red Republican I was. But I 
 think that homoeopathy is no radical cure politics will not be annihi- 
 lated by politics ; the primitive force of a natural element will make a 
 radical cure, and for this I believe in the excellence of ' pyropathy,' for 
 hydropathy will not do here. I don't read any political paper beyond 
 the Kreuzzeitung. My necessary political education I get out of 
 Kladderadatsch and when anyone asks me to which party I belong, 
 I say " to Kladderadatsch' s party." Moreover it is the only one that 
 has a future before it. 
 
 The great work you are now doing interests me much; and, knowing 
 Ernst, with whom you are carrying it out, I hope much from it. I shall 
 be grateful for further tidings, especially about the succession of the 
 members of this ' Pantheon,' in which I hope you won't, out of excess of 
 Teutonism, forget the French nation.* 
 
 With regurd to my associates, the society in which I live, the best is 
 the artists. Eaff, Joachim, Cossmann; the poet Frankl, whom you also 
 know, and who has now completed a great epic, ' Tannhauser,' which is 
 a remarkable and talented work (comprising the period of his life until 
 his entrance into the Horselberg) all these I meet daily at the 
 ' Erbprinz,' and occasionally elsewhere also. I am now and then at 
 Liszt's for dinner and for the evening. Every Sunday is Quartet-cultus, 
 chiefly Beethoven, either at Joachim's or at Liszt's house. There one 
 also sees the ' Minorum.' t 
 
 I don't go into society at all. Hofrath X., whose wife and daughters 
 adore me, occasionally invites me, but I decline to go there any more, 
 because he is a violent antagonist of Liszt's. If I went over to the anti- 
 Liszt side I should soon be immensely popular. Liszt's enemies here are 
 like refuse by the sea ; for he interests himself in other things besides 
 piano-playing the ' Goethe-Stiftung,' etc. and that is a thorn in the 
 people's side. They only allow him, in fact, the right to entertain them 
 as a pianist, which he has given up once for all. 
 
 With Wagner I carry on a not particularly lively, but continuous, 
 
 * Biographies of great men in history a kind of modern ' Plutarch 'on which 
 Eduard von Billow was at that time engaged, the completion of which was frustrated 
 by his death a year and a half later. 
 
 t Franciscans.
 
 WEIMAR. 107 
 
 correspondence. I shall be sending him very soon my score to look 
 through, with a piano arrangement of which, for four hands, I am now 
 occupied. 
 
 He feels very lonely and unhappy at Zurich, although Hitter has 
 made him safe materially through his (Hitter's) legacy (from an uncle). 
 Wagner complains that he is condemned to live in his own thoughts, and 
 not in a real world, and that he is worse off than deaf Beethoven he 
 has never yet been able to hear his own ' Lohengrin ' once ! I often have 
 to write to him instead of Liszt, who is excessively busy. 
 
 I see that, if I go on in this style, I shall never come to an end, 
 and yet I really must do so, for my letter has dragged on over several 
 days, although I have devoted almost every spare moment to it. 
 
 On the 1st February 1852, he writes from Weimar to his friend Uhlig, 
 in Dresden : 
 
 In the next number of BrendePs paper you will read an article on 
 Henriette Sontag by me. I think Brendel has entirely washed his hands 
 of this. It is at any rate the best article I have yet written. It will 
 create a scandal, but a scandal that is not an article of luxury, but of 
 necessity. If you read it before you have heard Sontag you will think 
 that it is reeking of impudence, but afterwards you will see that it is 
 really only full of truth and moderation. What a lot of good puns I 
 could have put into it also ! 
 
 In a long letter to his sister, on the 6th February, he says : 
 
 Early this morning Liszt suddenly paid me a visit in my room, and 
 made me a present, which was also a great joke ; a perfectly beautiful 
 stick, most original and full of meaning I am so ignorant that I can't 
 tell you the name of the material of which it is made ; it is brown, and 
 looks like dark amber, is pliable, but thick, and quite of a natural shape 
 is it perhaps indiarubber ? Enough that the one you gave me must hide 
 himself away, and I have helped him to do this by finding a corner 
 for him. 
 
 But now the best of the thing : Liszt had this stick brought for me 
 by Joachim, who has just been a trip to Leipzig, because he wished to 
 endow me with one as like as two pins to the one he carries himself, only 
 in proportion to my height. To carry this stick gives me even greater, 
 though just as childish, pleasure as the wearing of a cockade did in my 
 more timid year of '48. It is to me like a badge of the order of Liszt of 
 the Altenburg.
 
 108 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 Liszt and the Princess also have grown fond of me little by little, 
 and I am regarded more than formerly as the animal domestique ; I say 
 animal, because that expresses best the feeling of comfort. Thus Liszt 
 has lately certainly without my having anything to do with it found 
 out on several occasions that I am not only a less uncultivated man, but 
 also a less ignoble and insensible one than other young slow-coaches, and 
 that has pleased him on account of its rarity. . . . 
 
 Henriette Sontag has been here. If you have an opportunity of 
 hearing her, don't avail yourself of it. The other day I met Eckermann, 
 who is always tremendously friendly with me. It was pouring with rain, 
 but he came boldly through the mud to me with his umbrella up, and had 
 a quarter of an hour's chat with me. Amongst other things, he told me 
 that Goethe had spoken to him as follows about Sontag : " When I had 
 understood what kind of a creature she was, and had got sufficiently 
 enraged over the bad taste of the public, I took both my grandchildren, 
 in spite of their resistance, and led them, one in each hand, out of the 
 theatre, just as Lot fled with his two daughters from Sodom and 
 Gomorrha when his wife was turned into a pillar of salt." Eckermann 
 has forgotten to publish this, so now boast that you know it. 
 
 She is a woman gifted with a voice sans pareil, and is an excellent 
 soubrette. But poetry and passion are conspicuous by their complete 
 absence, and therefore I should prefer her room to her company. The 
 Lind has much more stuff in her. Liszt says : " C'est une antipathic de 
 race." He received her with icy politeness; that was splendid. But a 
 coquette she is and always has been. See her for yourself, and then 
 mend your ways, or else when you are a married woman of 48 
 you won't look more than 24. Keally and truly, Lucille Grahn,* 
 who has been dancing here this week, has more music in her little 
 toe than Sontag, and I much prefer her as a musician. I believe I shall 
 meet the Grahn this evening at supper at Liszt's. 
 
 Billow could scarcely have dreamt, when he described his impressions 
 of Henriette Sontag in the foregoing letter, that this name would lead to 
 such long-enduring and painful experiences for him. On the 13th February 
 1852 a scathing article appeared in the Neue Zeitschrift fur Musik, in which 
 he gave vent to his opinions on the direction Art was taking in the person 
 of Henriette Sontag. The letter to his father, which follows shortly, shows 
 that what he did was regarded with great suspicion, not merely by the 
 adherents of the great star in question, but also by his parents and friends. 
 His father, in particular, appears to have been temporarily estranged from 
 
 * A dancer.
 
 WEIMAR. 109 
 
 his son on account of this article, and hence the very touching and pathetic 
 letter bearing the signature, " Giovanni periitente." 
 
 TO THEODOK UHLTG (DRESDEN). 
 
 WEIMAR, 22nd April 1852. 
 DEAR FRIEND, 
 
 Do not be angry with me that I am so late in sending 
 you the score of the ' Fliegender Hollander,' for it is not my fault. Our 
 baritone Milde wanted to sing the great duet in the second act with his 
 wife in public, and Liszt had lent him the score for that purpose, that he 
 might get the parts copied out. 
 
 We, and especially I, have been dreadfully sorry, as you may 
 imagine, that you could not come to Weimar during Passion Week, as you 
 intended. 
 
 I am not feeling particularly grand just now I suffer so much 
 from sick headaches, and have a fearful amount to do. The Benvenuto 
 Cellini articles have taken up a great deal of my time ; but I had 
 promised Liszt (who sends you best greetings) to write them of course 
 the fact that I would, but not the how. The opera, that is to say, 
 Berlioz' music, has impressed me greatly and uncommonly. I have 
 judged Berlioz much more favourably, that is, I have ascribed much 
 more merit to him than Wagner really does ; do you think that W[agner] 
 is angry about this ? I have not written to him for a long time, but will 
 now do it directly. If you are writing to him before that, will you be 
 so good as to make my excuses to him. 
 
 Liszt wanted to go lately, on Good Friday, to Leipzig with me, to 
 hear Bach's Passion-Music, but a sudden affection of the eyes prevented 
 him, and kept him several days in bed. Now he is well again. Joachim 
 started for London a week ago, and will remain there, I suppose, three -to 
 four months. 
 
 Nothing much new in the way of music, though much that is 
 irritating, such as the utter imbecility of Haslinger's ' Napoleon ' and the 
 shallow pond of Hoven's ' opera.' There was still a third performance of 
 c Benvenuto.' Now we have ' Ernani ' and Schumann's c Manfred ' in pros- 
 pect; perhaps you will run over for the latter. As soon as possible we shall 
 have ' Tannhauser ' again (as soon as the Grand Duchess comes to the 
 theatre for the first time after the Court mourning) ; of course we shall 
 have it in the old arrangement.
 
 110 HANS VOX BULOW. 
 
 You have pretty well done for the Well-known one Lobe,* whose 
 identity was immediately guessed here, where he is well known only 
 you are a little too serious, which he does not really deserve. A review 
 of the ' Lohengrin' pianoforte score is coming out directly ' Benvenuto ' is 
 finished, and in one of the next numhers there will again be an " opinion 
 of the minority," entitled ' Flotow's Martha to her public.' 
 
 Bitter passed through here lately on his way to Eisenach. "With 
 me he was pretty sociable until the last, when he suddenly started off on 
 his journey without saying a word. Towards Liszt he behaved curiously, 
 was not at all conciliatory, in which he did wrong. I am curious to know 
 what he is going to do ; if he remains idle it would be a shame with such 
 brains. 
 
 It is nice of you to interest yourself for the Fastlinger : and how 
 did she please as Fidelio ? 
 
 The latest news from W[agner] (indirect news) makes me rather 
 anxious but that is nothing. Why does he suddenly despair of Brendel ? 
 For once it really won't do. 
 
 I hope soon to read in the paper a critique by you special 
 edification on Reissiger's ' Da ' (' there,' pointing to the head) * vide ' 
 (empty).f 
 
 Thanks for the programme to the ' Tannhauser ' Overture ; in case 
 you happen to have a surplus of copies of the two letters published by 
 Hinze, I should be very much obliged for some. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHEE. 
 
 WEIMAR, 23rd May 1852. 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 I wanted to write you a long and tidy letter for once, 
 and that is what has kept me so long from answering your dear, kind 
 letter with a mere word of thanks ; I was always hoping to find time for 
 this and could not. A heap of work came, one thing on the top of 
 another; one week, for instance, was entirely taken up with copying a 
 Liszt score for piano and orchestra ; Liszt had earnestly begged me to do 
 
 * J. C. Lobe, musical theorist, composer (1797-1881). Uhlig had written, in 
 the Neue Zeitsehrifl fur Musik (No. 14, Year I.), a smart reply to the musical 
 letters which had just then appeared, entitled, "The Truth about Music aud 
 Musicians. For Friends and Connoisseurs. By a Well-known Person." 
 
 t Play on the title of an Oratorio, ' David,' by Reissiger.
 
 WHMJLE. Ill 
 
 this, and he is so good to me that I always set everything aside to fulfil 
 such wishes immediaielv. A *** HiH piiie of wnrlr 1 < infaTMdtmg than 
 the first, followed, but it was one which took up more time because it 
 demanded mom thought. TV-riim? open mas to be given once more this 
 season, and as I agreed with Liszt's opinion as to the ninJMMH^m of ifa* 
 last act, which onl j wearies people and sends them to sleep, he proposed 
 that /should make the necessary cote, as well as the slight altc 
 
 in music and text required by these ; I discharged myself of this task to 
 Ltsif E satisfaction, although this mas my jtnt appearance as a rhymer 
 of blank vena. 
 
 At last it came about that the Princess gave me to understand that 
 I might write a few words on Liszt's 'Chopin.* I have been accustomed 
 to be a bam, atftmdan; and had therefore first to set myself to read it, for 
 which I had not previously found time. As I have now finished with it 
 I send you the book, which will perhaps excite and interest yon more 
 than it did me. Although I doubt whether anyone could have haiMifed 
 the subject more suitably, or even mom poetically, than Liszt has done, 
 yet there are many things in it which are not quite sympathetic to me, 
 especially because they 1m me think that the Princess has had a hand 
 in it. That does not prevent me from having found much beauty in it, 
 such as Liszt alone could give to it. 
 
 I send you with this the manuscript for Isidore from Joachim. 
 After I had complained to yon in my last letter that lisit did very little 
 with me in the way of piano-playing, I gave myself the lie only a few 
 days afterwards. That is often the way with me, and it makes me 
 almost afraid to express myself definitely in letters about what concerns 
 me; it is like taking one's nmbreDa when one goes a walk. Liszt 
 has allowed me and his other pupfl (from Mynieh) the third is studying 
 musical theory at Kmrnarh with, the orginM Klkmatiril to play a great 
 deal under his direction ; he has made me study the great B Flat major 
 Sonata of Beethoven, which I play not at all badly in the Adagio 
 Liszt praised me tremendously, also Weber's * Concertstiick ' with some 
 added effects, and Beethoven's Fantasia.' Next time I shall play him 
 the first movement of the Flat major Concerto. My playing law 
 lately very much changed for the better; my fingers are gradually 
 that IMIJIJ|J in which a good touch really fi^pa^tm, because it 
 
 makes one capable of giving every possible nance, and I find Liszt's 
 method more and more to be the only truly artistic and practical one. 
 I occasionally go so far as to be natJnfied with myself, and I think I 
 shall, in any case, belong to the better ones among pi^^^L 
 
 Sow the most important matter, namely to tell yon about the 
 Musical Festival, which is to be held at BaJVnstedt on the 25th and
 
 112 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 26th Juno. I shall have to go there a week beforehand as ministre 
 plenipotentaire. Could not yoxi manage to be present at my first great 
 debut as a pianist ? In addition to this, the concert and Liszt's con- 
 ducting will be specially interesting in themselves. On the two days 
 the following works are to be given : the Overture to 'Tannhauser,' and 
 ' King Alfred,' Mendelssohn's ' Walpurgisnacht,' Beethoven's ' Ninth,' 
 Berlioz' ' Harold Symphony,' Wagner's ' Liebesmahl der Apostel ' (Last 
 Supper), Duet from the ' Fliegender Hollander,' Liszt's music to a poem 
 by the Duchess of Orleans, a Violin Concerto by David, the first 
 Finale from { Euryanthe,' and Beethoven's ' Choral Fantasia ' for piano 
 and orchestra. Besides this last piece I may also perhaps play the 
 ' Midsummer Night's Dream ' (Liszt's transcription, a solo), and the 
 ' Tannhauser ' Overture, which, when people have heard it by the orchestra, 
 will be a grateful work for both Liszt and me. Once more it would 
 be very charming of you to give me your presence at this Festival ; do 
 try to arrange it, and perhaps you will bring Isidore with you. Then 
 let me know soon, so that I may get rooms for you, for there will be 
 heaps of people. The printed song I am sending you herewith is 
 published in an album, and appears in good company, with Liszt, 
 Joachim and others. 
 
 The spring has made me much livelier again, and I feel better, 
 both bodily and mentally, than in the winter months, which have this 
 time been very sad ones for me. 
 
 I have altered my outside life here in one respect for the better, 
 as I think ; with a sudden bold resolve I have given up the ' Erbprinz,' 
 in spite of the fact that I can only pay my debts there little by little. I 
 now dine at mid-day elsewhere with Cossmann, where it costs me only a 
 little more than half what it used to do, and the fare is simpler and more 
 wholesome. Indeed Cossmann forms my chief society now ; he is a 
 quiet, soothing man of good French manners, clever, but somewhat 
 apathetic. The end of the theatre season, when Cossmann goes to 
 Baden and Liszt accompanies the Princess to Carlsbad, will probably 
 change much of this. That time will be shortly after the Music- 
 Festival. My trade of schoolmaster goes on pretty successfully. My 
 two pupils are really getting on with me ; I am also much adored by 
 them. The second is the niece of an English lady, who is a friend of 
 Liszt, and he specially begged me to yield to the earnest wish of the 
 aunt. The young lady, like all English girls, has a very negative 
 musical talent, and plays wrong and out of time with true religious 
 fervour ; so there is certainly not much to be done. The aunt has the 
 extraordinary idea that her niece has a decided musical talent, and would 
 be inconsolable if she were told the contrary and robbed of her belief ; 
 so I try to do my best with unspeakable amiability.
 
 WEIMAR. 113 
 
 My unpopularity here is unbounded ; I rejoice in it to the utmost, 
 because it is a sort of filial unpopularity to that of Liszt, and the saying, 
 " qu'ils me haissent, pourvu qu'ils me craignent " is applicable here. A 
 caricature has even been circulated here, in which Liszt figures as Don 
 Quixote and I as Sancho Panza. 
 
 Liszt took me lately with Cossmann and Mangold to Jena to see 
 Stahr, who is settled there, and is very unwell. 
 
 Please write to me very soon, I do beg, or else let Isidore write. 
 She has plenty of time and I have so little, and as she is so fond of me 
 she should give me, with her pen, more frequent opportunity of grate- 
 fully acknowledging this. 
 
 In any case I hope to be able to have a talk with you by word of 
 mouth before so very long. My head is so full of all sorts of different 
 things that I had great trouble to disentangle to some degree all the 
 things I wanted to say to you. 
 
 Liszt promised me that he would write to you ; has he perhaps done 
 
 so? On the other hand, Countess may wait a long time. " Qu'elle 
 
 s'en aille au diable," were Liszt's very own words, which he uttered with 
 comical anger when I gave him my information. . . . 
 
 Once more, do not be vexed at the long and unmerited delay, and 
 take best thanks for your loving thoughts of me. 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 WEIMAR, 25th May 1852. 
 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 If you have a spark of affection left for a son who, 
 though his actions speak against him, has never for a moment ceased to 
 think of you with the deepest love, I do beg you, above everything in 
 the world, not to be angry with me any longer for the unhappy time 
 now (thank the gods) past, but to forgive and forget. Perhaps, without 
 this, the confession of all the misery I have gone through will soften 
 you towards me. Though I was quite conscious that I owed you this 
 confession, yet I have put it off all this time, partly from a certain 
 timidity at having to recapitulate every little inward vexation of my own, 
 and really also from want of the power to look at my own affairs as 
 dispassionately as if they were somebody's else's. Once more, grant me 
 this earnest request ; do not be angry with me any longer, spare me all 
 reproaches, for it is just these that I should find it most hard to bear, 
 
 H
 
 114 HANS VON BtfLOW. 
 
 and that would, by their severity, thwart all my endeavours to regain 
 the happiness which I have almost lost. 
 
 That scandal which came to your ears about the famous (or in- 
 famous) Sontag article was undoubtedly the real beginning of unforeseen, 
 and even almost unexpected consequences. I send you the article here- 
 with : you can see for yourself how the momentary excitement of a 
 lively indignation dictated it, and how entirely without calculation it was 
 written. I can assure you that our astonishment was great when such a 
 storm was raised against me from all sides, above all from Leipzig, when 
 I was recognised as the author of the unexpected " voice of the minority," 
 striking so mercilessly at one who was the idol of the hour to an irra- 
 tional multitude. 
 
 Of course calumnious reports were also spread; Liszt was accused 
 of being the real author, and this authorship was ascribed to a petty 
 revenge. 
 
 Had Liszt known of my intention he would at all events have tried 
 to dissuade me from it ; but he did not see the article till it was in print, 
 and too late to recommend me to write more moderately. As regards 
 the calumny which touched himself he said nothing, and thereby gave 
 me a lesson and an example of how I ought to behave towards injuries to 
 myself. By this calm and resolute silence I have been able to preserve a 
 demeanour that is in my favour, and I am sure I have thus avoided many 
 unpleasantnesses. I have made a collection of the most violent attacks 
 in the papers here, and from Leipzig, etc. ; if you were to read those you 
 would understand in what a state of perpetual excitement and embitter- 
 ment the long dragging on of these affairs has placed me ; though at the 
 same time I did receive a few very flattering, but not very comforting, 
 signs of recognition of my courage. Not merely people such as Robert 
 Franz, Wagner, Herwegh, but even quite respectable Philistines, have 
 given me to understand that they entirely approved of what I had done. 
 
 But now to the worst consequences which my venturesomeness has 
 entailed. Sontag was foolish enough to lay such tremendous weight on 
 my opinion that she, together with her mother, her husband, etc., had 
 not anything better to do than to spread the affair abroad unconscious 
 that she was thereby making the best possible propaganda against herself. 
 As soon as she came to Dresden she gave the reins to her anger by 
 heaping up the strongest invectives against my humble self at all the 
 houses where she visited. So it was not long before it came to my 
 mother's ears from various quarters, and you can imagine that she was 
 not particularly pleased about it. Spnre me the details, the remembrance 
 of which is even now painful to me. Only the principal thing : I should, 
 really and truly, have had nothing to live on, had not my piano-teaching
 
 WEIMAR. 115 
 
 here brought me in a few thalers. I will only mention that, amongst 
 other things, I had to do entirely without supper, and that my clothes 
 had got into the most neglected condition. I was for the first time in 
 real want ; of course I would not borrow from anybody, because I had 
 not the remotest idea when I should ever be able to pay back again ; and 
 besides this, my most intimate friends were none of them in a position to 
 lend me anything. Before I would have asked Liszt to lend me any- 
 thing well, I really don't know what I would not have tried first ! So 
 I was obliged to pawn what little I possessed, and consequently I am so 
 placed to-day that if anyone asks me " What's o'clock ? " (a clock) I 
 can only answer them by your joke, " a measure of time." 
 
 And up to the present time I have not been able to recover my old 
 sense of humour, of which I used to possess a fair amount, but which, 
 during that inauspicious time, has been conspicuous by its absence. 
 You really cannot imagine into what a state of complete depression and 
 despairing indifference I had fallen at that time. The feeling of wretched 
 abandonment enervated me as much, physically, as it paralysed my mental 
 powers, so that the work which was waiting to be done cost me immense 
 efforts to do ; for I have worked, notwithstanding, and can show proofs 
 of my industry. 
 
 The reason I did not write to you at that time was partly what I 
 have already mentioned ; and if the necessity of confessing my position 
 for I was so down in the world that I could not have withstood the 
 temptation of asking you to help me kept me from writing to you, it 
 was because it seemed to me that it would be the height of unworthiness 
 on my part even to appear to fulfil my duty of writing to my father only 
 when I was constrained to ask him for help. 
 
 No doubt this is all very incoherent and uninteresting for you to read, 
 but my moral power is still so weak that I am not in a condition to 
 arrange my confused thoughts and write them in an orderly manner, and 
 must be satisfied with having conquered a stupidity which, I daresay, 
 will seem less inexplicable to you when you have seen what a frame of 
 mind I was in. I hope you will at least be willing to see, by my letter 
 today, which I have been trying to write for nearly a fortnight, how 
 much I long for a return to the old relations between us. You may be 
 sure that the interruption of these has been much harder for me to bear, 
 all alone as I was, than probably for you. In case you are angry with 
 my letter, and give vent to your feelings, may Louise have the happy 
 idea of making Willi use his promising lungs to drown your voice, and 
 to be an honour to his musical brother by coming to his aid with such 
 timely harmony. 
 
 Now to the most important things connected with my present or
 
 116 BANS VON BtLOW. 
 
 my immediate future. On the 22nd and 23id of this month there is 
 going to be a grand Musical Festival at Ballenstedt, under Liszt's con- 
 ducting. I shall make my debut on that occasion as a pianist and as a 
 pupil of Liszt, for the first time before such a large public, and shall 
 play, besides some solo pieces, Beethoven's ' Choral Fantasia,' for piano, 
 chorua and orchestra, a work of the composer's later period that is but 
 little known and that makes a great effect. 
 
 My piano-playing has latterly made substantial progress ; I have 
 gained in elasticity and a certain virtuoso chic, which was formerly 
 entirely wanting. The great mastership of Liszt apart from his 
 individual appearance and personality rrsts principally on his marvel- 
 lously expansive and manifold power of expressing outwardly what he 
 feels inwardly; not merely in the perception and grasp of a musical 
 work, but in the way he can reproduce it outwardly, the extraordinarily 
 faithful embodiment of the spiritual. Nothing is further from him than 
 calculated effects ; his genius as an artist consists chiefly in his certainty 
 of the effect he gives so brilliantly at every j>erformance. This point 
 in Liszt seems to me the most worthy because the most possible of 
 imitation, and I have tried for some time, and not without result, to copy 
 him somewhat in this. 
 
 I am very much delighted to find that Liszt intends to spend the 
 summer here, and will only be away at most four weeks, and that not 
 till August, when he accompanies the Princess to Carlsbad. As he ia 
 devoting a great deal of time to me and another young and rather 
 talented pupil from Munich, I can safely reckon on being set free next 
 December to start on my first predatory virtuoso-tour to Vienna and 
 Pest 
 
 I have been composing very little, although I have not been entirely 
 idle in that respect. But, on the other hand, I have written several 
 things for the musical pies? which are not at all bad, according to what 
 Liszt and others say. My life otherwise has been of the simplest; I 
 have been in no society whatever, except that of other artists. Two 
 ladies whom I teach adore me, both for my talent and for my personal 
 amiability, in which I have made great progress. However 1 don't care 
 about it. On the other hand, I do care very much indeed to hear soon 
 from you that you forgive and forget. Meanwhile, 
 
 Your loving son, 
 
 GIOVANNI PE.VITBNTE.
 
 W.Streckfuss pirocil 1855 
 
 Gravure MeisenbachRiffarth&Co.
 
 WEIMAB. 117 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 WEIMAR, 28th June 1852. 
 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 Only today have I got back, the last of the Weimar 
 company, bodily and mentally refreshed by the glorious and never-to-be- 
 forgotten days I have spent at the Musical Festival at Ballenstedt. The 
 first thing I am taking in hand here is to answer your letter, which I 
 received shortly after my arrival at Ballenstedt, when I was just in the 
 most delightful excitement of having all kinds of things to do. I thank 
 you from my heart for your willingness to forget the sad suspension of 
 our happy relationship which lasted for a while, and your readiness to 
 have some trust once more in my heart ! It now lies with me to justify 
 this trust, and I shall always be fully conscious of it. You may truly 
 believe that, in spite of appearances being against me, I am so far from 
 all indifference towards you that, on the contrary, I feel myself much 
 nearer to you than I did in earlier years. I have reached an age which 
 enables me to understand you better than I could formerly, and to find 
 many points of contact with you which formerly were not visible to me. 
 In many things I now have very similar views to yours ; and, where we do 
 not have the same sympathies, I feel, with the warmest gratitude, that you 
 come forward towards me and affectionately try to soften and to lessen 
 the opposition, so that I feel that it is not only my duty, but also my 
 natural desire, to do my part also. I feel the real need of communicating 
 often with you, and I need only to follow the first promptings when they 
 come to me. I feel so happy and pleasantly excited after the stay at 
 Ballenstedt that I shall become much more expansive than I ever was 
 before ; it is not in my nature to be so under depression and wretched- 
 ness, such as have been my companions here in the time that is past. 
 
 I will begin at once to tell you all about Ballenstedt. Perhaps you 
 will have already heard from Isidore that I did meet her and mamma 
 there. It was a meeting I very much wished for. Mamma, in the society 
 of the excellent families v. Herder and Siegsfeld, was in a pretty forgiv- 
 ing frame of mind, for the after-effects of the Past were not yet extin- 
 guished, and the old mistrust of the success and the expectations of my 
 musical career, increased as they were by the scandal I made as a writer, 
 was still deep-rooted in her. Liszt, to whom she wrote some time ago, 
 about the same time you did, had not wished and had not been able 
 to answer her, and was therefore very much pleased to be able to talk to 
 her personally at last, and to explain the necessary things to her. He- 
 has therefore quieted her all round to some extent ; at least, he has done
 
 118 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 so much that she has been tranquillized by him as she could have been 
 by none other. That could not have been done in a letter. Liszt's per- 
 sonal amiability contributed its part towards this also. By his persuasion 
 she remained for the Musical Festival, which she had at first declined 
 to do, from motives of economy ; and I had the satisfaction of seeing 
 that my performances and their success gave her pleasure. Liszt was 
 thoroughly satisfied with my playing at the concert, as well as at the Court, 
 where we were invited to supper on the second day (Wednesday), through 
 the very friendly and amiable Hofmarschall v. Siegsfeld. The Duchess 
 and her sister, the Princess of Holstein, to whom I had been presented a 
 couple of days before at a musical coffee-party at Frau v. Siegsfeld's,* were 
 very amiable to me. As Liszt absolutely refused to play anything, I was 
 obliged to come forward after supper as his official pupil, and I played 
 for about an hour to the people, who really behaved extremely well, and 
 listened with great interest. Liszt very much commended my sureness 
 and unconstrainedness, and the extremely individual character of my 
 performance, which, as he said, had surprised him, and had put before 
 him the prospect of my self-dependence sooner than he had expected. 
 You can well imagine that this praise has made me feel very happy and 
 hopeful for the future. Mamma and Isidore, whom I found not looking 
 very well, took their departure on Thursday at noon, stayed one night in 
 Leipzig, and arrived in Munich the day after, whence, after a short stay, 
 they will go straight to one of the German baths. I hope that the favourable 
 impression which my debut in Ballenstedt made on them will last, and act 
 as a counterpoise to the other doubts and disagreements. Unfortunately 
 I was hardly able to see anything of Isidore, for I was excessively occupied 
 as Liszt's adjutant that is to say, his musical adjutant for Raff, who 
 left a couple of days before Liszt and myself, had attended capitally to 
 everything else. The whole Festival may be regarded as a particularly 
 brilliant one, considering its impromptu character ; for a week before it 
 took place the whole undertaking was still uncertain. Liszt really worked 
 wonders; in three days' rehearsals everything was in trim, and the orchestra, 
 which was brought together from all parts, and the members of which 
 were all strange to one another chorus and orchestra numbered some 300 
 persons was so thoroughly inducted into the work that it seemed 
 as if they all belonged to one Society : Liszt's personality in conducting 
 had inspired them and carried them away. The audience, it is true, 
 numbered only 800 to 1000. 
 
 The entrepreneur, an hotel-keeper, a well-educated and very decent 
 fellow, who was indeed quite ruined, but who nevertheless fulfilled every 
 
 * Frau v. Siegsfeld, a granddaughter of Herder.
 
 WE1MAK. 119 
 
 duty he had undertaken towards those who were taking part, had acted 
 rather unpractically through the whole affair, and had not chosen the 
 right moment to try to weaken the effect of a couple of unfavourable, 
 spiteful articles that had appeared in the paper. Such an article, for 
 instance, had kept Stern's Gesangverein from coming, after they had 
 firmly promised their assistance. Old Schneider in Dessau also played 
 us a shabby trick. The orchestra there had promised its co-operation, 
 and Schneider had openly placed them at our disposal ; but as he was 
 extremely indignant because they would neither perform his ' Weltgericht ' 
 (Last Judgment), nor any other composition of his, nor divide the con- 
 ducting between Liszt and himself, he privately got every individual 
 member of his orchestra to sign a round-robin to the effect that, out of 
 devotion to him, none of them would take part in the Festival unless he 
 went with them. So, then, not one of them came. The orchestra was 
 composed of the Bernburg, Sondershausen, and the best part of the Weimar 
 orchestras, and individual musicians from the neighbourhood were also 
 pressed into the service. The vocal forces had been imported the vocal 
 Societies of Bernburg and Cb'then, and, above all, the Leipzig Students' 
 Vocal Society, the Pauliners, who had come over under the leadership of 
 their music-director Langer, sixty in number, all gifted with fresh, 
 beautiful voices. Robert Franz from Halle had also brought a chorus of 
 thirty ladies and gentlemen, in addition to which stray singers came from 
 Berlin and Leipzig. The performances went off" extremely successfully ; 
 the programme met with uncommon approbation, in spite of its very 
 marked tendency. The second concert I send you the programme 
 herewith did not take place till three o'clock in the afternoon, as the 
 forenoon had to be used for rehearsal. In spite of the great fatigue, 
 everything went like clockwork ! The very limited time for rehearsal of 
 the ' Berlioz ' Symphony only allowed of the two middle movements being 
 given. On the other hand, after the ' Walpurgisnacht ' there was a lively 
 demand for the repetition of the ' Tannha'user ' Overture, which thus 
 formed the first and last links of the chain. The effect was immense. 
 Liszt, who was welcomed both times with flourish of trumpets and 
 applause, received at the end all the flowers of all the ladies present, 
 which were thrown at him. 
 
 Besides playing my Fantasia, which was almost the most warmly 
 applauded of any of the solo pieces, I had also to help in the ' Orpheus ' 
 scene, by playing the rather important harp part on the piano, owing to 
 the indisposition of Fraulein Spohr,* the niece of the Kapellmeister, 
 and I had also to accompany the ' Liebesmahl der Apostel,' in order to give 
 
 * Rosalie Spohr, afterwards married to Count Sauerma.
 
 120 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 a little support here and there to the difficult vocal part (without accom- 
 paniment), so as to enable them to keep strictly in tune. 
 
 I also helped in the teaching of this work, and played the big drum 
 in Kaff 's Overture. I nearly got in a rage about this afterwards, when I 
 heard that Meyerbeer had once done the same service for Cherubini in 
 one of his operas. 
 
 We had a very lively time at Ballenstedt. Kroll, Raff, Pruckner 
 (my fellow-student as pianist in Liszt's school) and I had a nice large 
 room, all four of us together, close to Liszt's. Of course our expenses 
 there were paid for us, and we also had our journey there free. But the 
 Herders and Siegsfelds did more than anybody else to make us enjoy 
 ourselves, and they have the largest share of all our pleasant recollections 
 of Ballenstedt. They gave us dinners and parties, and, above all, made 
 things so comfortable for us that we felt quite at home there, because we 
 really were so. And for me there was the special satisfaction that both 
 ladies, who stand alone in their amiability, are democrats and Feuer- 
 bachers ! Frau v. Siegsfeld sends you warm greetings. She has honoured 
 me by presenting rue with Feuerbach's latest book, which lay on her 
 table, as a remembrance. 
 
 Liszt was unfortunately obliged to return to Weiuiar on Wednesday 
 night. His mother, who had come to pay him a visit, fell downstairs in 
 his absence, and sustained a fracture which at first appeared dangerous, 
 but now it is considered certain that she will soon be all right again. 
 
 Kroll and I remained three days longer in B[allenstedt], as we had 
 also promised to arrange a small private concert for Nehse, which there- 
 fore took place on the Saturday morning before a very few people. 
 Nehse might have had an audience of 200 ; his great awkwardness and 
 apathy ruined his chances. 
 
 On Thursday there was another soiree at the Siegsfelds', for which 
 I had arranged the programme, and at which I had to do duty as accom- 
 panist to the singers, who are extremely fond of me in that capacity. On 
 Friday we made an excursion to the Waldkater and Kessel, not far from 
 the Rosstrappe the Siegsfelds, Herders, Mildes, Spohrs, Schreck, etc. 
 The weather was favourable, and it was a delightful after-celebration of 
 the Festival. 
 
 What also especially enchained me to Ballenstedt was a small love- 
 passion. I had not been in love for such a very long time that it 
 possessed all the charm of novelty for me, and put me into a disposition 
 which, if it should last for a while which is possible might be of great 
 use to me musically in the coming time. As I am perfectly contented 
 with my subjective inclination, you need not be afraid that I shall go 
 and do something stupid ; quite the contrary.
 
 WEIMAR. 121 
 
 Liszt starts next Thursday for Brunswick, for the Musical Festival 
 there, which Miiller and Litolff will conduct. I am not going with him, 
 notwithstanding that I might do it if it were necessary. I shall remain 
 here, and try to recover by hard work from all my knocking about, 
 
 Is my style still so dreadful? I will really take pains to improve 
 it, and am grateful to you for your warning. I can quite well bear the 
 strongest expression of blame which comes so thoroughly from the heart. 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 [WEIMAR, end of July 1852.] 
 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 My heartiest good wishes and my most brotherly welcome 
 to the new citizen of this world, who, I hope, will be as strong a fellow 
 as Willi promises to become, and whose existence is a happiness to me 
 for many reasons. Firstly, because I gain a new object for ruy brotherly- 
 uncledom, from which I expect much honour and pleasure, so far as I 
 may be called to have to do with him ; and secondly, because the world 
 is now the richer by two baronial democrats. 
 
 I already gave you a hint in my last letter of my present lyrical 
 mood, so I need only add that it is happily not merely a mood, but is of 
 a productive nature. I am at present writing a dozen songs (text by 
 Heine, Sternau, and Petbfy, in the translation of Szarvady and Moritz 
 Hauptmann), eight of which are already done. Liszt is very much in- 
 terested in them. His criticism is of the greatest advantage to me ; he 
 discovers at once every intention, and then knows not only how to dis- 
 cover any chance contradiction between thought and form, but how to 
 suggest the simplest and best means of putting it right. Hence he is, 
 by his own experience, the best and most impressive adviser as to the 
 observance of simplicity and clearness in the piano accompaniment he 
 who formerly did the most important things in exactly the contrary 
 direction. His opinion of my songs was that they are " very beautiful, 
 very much from the heart (sehr innerlicli), finely conceived, and of a 
 very original and individual colouring " an opinion which has pleased 
 me more, in silence, than any praise that has yet appeared in the papers.
 
 122 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 It is, especially, a great comfort to me that he allows that I have indi- 
 viduality, because, according to my theory, it is only a very marked 
 individuality, especially in Art, which as such (eo ipso) has a justification 
 for its existence in respect to artistic creation. Besides the songs, I am 
 already sketching my Overture to ' Romeo and Juliet.' About that, i.e. 
 about my plan, which has been very much corrected by R[ichard] 
 W[agner] my first was too abstractly philosophical, too wanting in 
 clearness more some other time ; and I am collecting material for a big 
 Pianoforte Trio. I have also in hand two concert paraphrases on pieces 
 from ' Lohengrin ' and ' Tannhauser,' which, through Liszt's mediation, 
 will be published by Hartel in Leipzig, and, as a smaller and less taxing 
 piece of work, the arrangement of the piano edition of Wagner's version 
 of Gluck's ' Iphigenia in Aulis.' Had he done none other but this, in 
 many respects, beautiful work, he would yet be worthy of the highest 
 esteem. To learn to know the " why and wherefore " of this arrangement 
 by a detailed insight into the score is a very great enjoyment. Wagner 
 has left the work so uninjured, owing to his reverence for the great 
 master, that he has, on the contrary, given the noblest and most positive 
 proof of this. Truly the old saying, " Quod licet lovi non licet bovi," is 
 none the less applicable on that account. I think that, later on, in some 
 lustra,* not before, I shall do the same for the ' Orpheus,' which also 
 needs polishing up, if one would not have it become unenjoyable to the 
 masses, and of only an occasional historical interest to the privileged few. 
 My pianoforte arrangement is treated in a good, strong, simple style 
 perhaps as such it may become a model one. Certainly if I didn't 
 succeed in such an easy task as this I should despair of myself. 
 Whether I shall get all these things done before I go to Vienna I really 
 don't know. 
 
 Give my love to Louise and Willi, and a Vivat to the new-comer ! 
 Farewell, best father ; I must be otf to my teaching, and therefore 
 conclude. 
 
 Hans being now extremely busy, and his letters, comparatively speaking, 
 few and far between, a few extracts are here inserted from letters from his 
 mother to his sister, written from Weimar : 
 
 [? November.] 
 " Hans is well, but is looking wretched ; he is very industrious, but 
 
 * Periods of five years, in the old Roman days.
 
 WEIMAR. 123 
 
 is in continual agitation ; he would be able to do such great things, but 
 unfortunately lie devotes most of his time to the glorification of Wagner. 
 He is perfectly fanatical about it, and sacrifices himself entirely, placing 
 himself and all his own aims in the background." 
 
 25th November. 
 
 11 Hans was in a pretty state for the week, or rather, ten days of 
 Berlioz' stay here : rehearsals, management of all sorts, doing the 
 honours to strangers with and for Liszt, and on the top of all that the 
 article on Berlioz ; never in bed before three o'clock ! Yesterday he was 
 feeling rather out of spirits." 
 
 18th December. 
 
 "I have indeed seen Hans, but have hardly spoken to him; he is 
 very busy giving Spanish lessons to the little, or rather, the big Princess 
 Marie, besides his music lessons, and a great deal of work with Liszt, 
 and so on. ... To-day I paid a visit with Hans to old Schwendler, 
 who has known all possible people of interest, and remains perfectly 
 fresh in spite of his eighty years. It amused me to see how Hans 
 carried on an interesting conversation with as much ease as subtlety ; he 
 is altogether very remarkable ; he has on the one side an incredible 
 self-command, certainty, and aplomb, and then again a boundless impru- 
 dence, which may drag him into the worst quarrels, and there are more 
 of such contrasts in his character." 
 
 29th December. 
 
 " On the last day we were all with Liszt, who played marvellously 
 with Joachim (Kreutzer Sonata) ; at midnight they brought me home ; 
 at half-past three in the morning I was again at the Arnims, and 
 accompanied them to the station, where Liszt joined us with Joachim 
 and Hans, and we all six started off in one coupe. . . . 
 
 New Year's Day to church early; a letter from you. I dressed 
 and went to the Princess's, where we dined with Talleyrand enfamille 
 but magnificently. After dinner Liszt sat with me alone for a couple of 
 hours in an ante-room, and talked with me most affectionately about 
 Hans ; he was very earnest, and reiterated many times, ' Je Paime 
 comme mon fils, je me regarde comme son pere, et comme aujpurd'hui ce 
 sera en dix ans.' "
 
 124 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 TO PETER CORNELIUS. 
 
 WEIMAR, "2Qth December 1852. 
 
 DBAR BROTHER AMONG ELEPHANTS, 
 
 The elephant is now opposite the other elephant at Werner's 
 wine store, first floor, and we shall have a right jolly, elephantine sort 
 of Christmas. The Arnims remain here till the New Year, and Joachim 
 also, who is then going to be Concertmeister at Hanover with advance- 
 ment. 
 
 You are the only one wanting to our circle ; there is a gap which 
 you alone can and must fill ; it is for you to complete the incomplete 
 whole. So, without wasting words, make yourself ready, and come 
 and be a light to us in Weimar, and that quickly, without delay. 
 
 You know you intended in any case to come back to us, and, even 
 if it is only a flying visit, you will never again find Weimar just as it 
 is now ; therefore tear yourself away from the Westphalian hams and 
 come here. 
 
 We are expecting you most positively and as quickly as possible, 
 and will take no denial. Pack up your bundle and come ; bring my 
 shirt with you, in exchange for which you shall have your shawl, which 
 I am meanwhile using. 
 
 You belong to a society, a league, to which you have sworn no 
 obedience, wherefore you owe it all the more. It is commanded you to 
 start off at once, and to come and thaw with us as soon as possible, for 
 you must be half frozen. 
 
 You are such an unceremonious sort of fellow that I need not add 
 another word to this letter and the order it contains. All the more, it is 
 enough that I am in a hurry to send off this letter ; for four other people 
 besides myself are dying of impatience to see you. 
 
 The knight Franz will also rejoice to see you again; it is, it must 
 be, of consequence to you also to meet him again at a time when things 
 are quieter than formerly. 
 
 Let us have a line to say when we may expect you at the 
 station. My address is " Carlsplatz '28, c/o Professor Schwerdtgeburth" 
 (opposite Joachim). I have been settled there a fortnight as a self- 
 govern* man. 
 
 It goes without saying that you will stay either with one of us or 
 
 * These two words are put in English by Billow.
 
 WEIMAR. 125 
 
 with the Arnims, who have plenty of spare room. You should just see 
 the rows and disputes there will be amongst us about this. 
 Adieu, and to our very speedy meeting. 
 
 TO HIS SISTER. 
 
 WEIMAR, 28th December 1852. 
 
 DEARKST SISTER, 
 
 I have thought very often of you during the Christmas 
 days, arid I have been really very sorry that our mutual correspondence 
 has had such a long rest. I have reproached myself very much about 
 this, but I really could not help it. I have been so very much engrossed 
 lately, mentally, and stand so alone in this ; and it would be qxiite a 
 Herculean and Danaid work to write full particulars to anyone of things 
 which I can't always make clear to myself, and which someone else 
 would understand still less, and would misunderstand still more. 
 
 Mamma will have written you word how we spent our Christmas 
 evening here at the Arnims'. She herself had one of her unfortunate 
 sick headaches, and was very uneasy at the non-arrival of news from 
 you. She has got so accustomed to hearing from you often, and 
 rejoices a whole week over your letters in prospective, by which you 
 have much increased her great tenderness for you. So go on writing to 
 her often, especially as it is a satisfaction to you to be able to express 
 yourself freely from your heart. 
 
 Bettina has given Joachim and me each a glass on which the 
 names of the three fairies are engraved. That was the nicest possible 
 Christmas present to us. 
 
 Joachim goes at New Year to Hanover, where he is taking a very 
 brilliant and important position. His departure would be a great trouble 
 to me and it also comes at the same time as that of the Arnim family, 
 who have really grown into my very heart were it not that the time I 
 still^have in Weimar myself may also be counted by days. For Liszt 
 has fixed the beginning of February for my going to Vienna ; I am not 
 anxious, but only curious to see how it will fare with me there. 
 
 No doubt you already know that mamma made me come down from 
 the Altenburg, and has got me lodgings in the town. I should have been 
 perfectly frozen up there during the winter, and should have been without 
 any attendance and every sort of care ; and so, for a thousand other 
 weighty reasons, I r am uncommonly glad to live in town, about fifty 
 steps from where mamma is living.
 
 126 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 In Jena I played lately twice within a fortnight at the academical 
 concerts, and pleased much. I tell you this because it is perhaps not a 
 matter of indifference to you. 
 
 Do write soon and tell me what you are thinking of doing or of 
 leaving undone for the future how long you are going to stay at 
 Otlishausen, etc. I heard through mamma with great sympathy of your 
 feelings about your stay there. "Work and enjoy yourself in the solitude, 
 which can also be a real happiness a happiness for which I have long 
 wished enormously. 
 
 Anyone else in my place might perhaps be quite contented 
 with some good-will ; . . . that I can't be so, with that everything is 
 said. Things have no value in themselves, and they only attain it by 
 their relation to that for which they exist. 
 
 May the New Year be a right happy one for you ! Look to one 
 thing alone before all else your health and take as much care of it as 
 though it were the property of someone else. Then freshness and courage 
 will return again to you, and you will be able to become something for 
 yourself ; and that is the chief thing. Outside ourselves we find nothing, 
 absolutely and entirely nothing, confoundedly nothing. 
 
 Give my love to Louise and the two little ones ; and let me soon 
 hear from you, as I also regard this letter only as a contre-marque. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 LEIPZIG, last of December 1852. 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 Heartiest love and good wishes for the New Year. That 
 you are perhaps beginning it, alas ! sadly and alone this time, is the only 
 thing that troubles the happy days here, in which I am gliding from '52 
 into '53. Our journey was an uncommonly pleasant one; we were all in 
 the highest good-humour. And then we still had to consider two pro- 
 posals which I laid before them ; the first on our early journey, the 
 second with somewhat desperate efforts. The results are, first, that we 
 all six yesterday, all five to-day for Liszt started off at seven o'clock 
 are living together in the ' Hotel de Baviere ' and the adjoining house, 
 without any hotel scandal, and on the first floor ; secondly, that 
 the Arnims, as well as Joachim, will not leave here till early on 
 Sunday morning. It has cost me rewarded trouble, yet trouble, to 
 bring them round to this, and to frighten them into writing to their 
 family to put off their journey. 
 
 I ordered the two bouquets, at one reichsthaler, quite early this
 
 WEIMAR. 127 
 
 morning, at the florist Rohland's, in Auerbach's Hof, and you may count 
 on them for certain. 
 
 In the morning I went about with Liszt and Joachim, to Senff, and to 
 Hartel, where I had to play a piece from the ' Midsummer Night's 
 Dream ; ' also to David and Gade, whom we did not find at home. At 
 two o'clock we dined together, entre nous, and soon after that Liszt 
 received visits from David, Radecke,* and Brendel. Then I went with 
 the Arnims, who had a heap of commissions to do, for the Princess 
 amongst others, whereby I have made fresh progress in my Sardanapalisa- 
 tion. In the evening we went to see Kistner, then went to a party at 
 Brendel's ; but our visit only lasted for half an hour, for by nine o'clock 
 we were with the Arnims at a party at David's, where a gorgeous supper 
 was arranged, and where I distinguished myself still more gorgeously on 
 a wretched grand piano. Liszt was really excessively pleased with me. 
 I played with great certainty and freedom, and even astonished him, as 
 well as everybody else. He will tell you about it himself when you see 
 him tomorrow. We were, in case I was back in time, to dine with the 
 Princess on New Year's Day. I am writing very hurriedly, but it is 
 impossible to give you any news except in this broken fashion. You 
 will rather have it than none. Yesterday evening was really an 
 important one for me. Liszt expressed to me several times his extreme 
 pleasure at my " confirmation " of his hopes, and was altogether unspeak- 
 ably good to me. 
 
 Senff, Gade, Kadecke, even David, etc., have given me high praise. 
 Tomorrow will be an interesting concert. I shall go to the rehearsal for 
 an hour today, because they have all invited me to it. Joachim is get- 
 ting impatient, but gives you a hand-kiss herewith. 
 
 I am feeling fabulously well in every respect, and should like to 
 extend my stay a few days longer, as I have made my debut here so 
 successfully and well. People come forward to me in a very kind 
 manner. 
 
 If the Arnims were not asleep they would send you a thousand 
 warm greetings. 
 
 The town has really become very handsome since I was last here. 
 No doubt at the moment I am seeing everything through rose-coloured 
 spectacles. Once more let me assure you that, from the point of utility, 
 a few days more here would be very advantageous to me, and so do let 
 me have them. 
 
 I will write and let you know when I am coming. Liszt will 
 
 * Robert Radecke (born 1830), conductor, composer ; from 1871-87 conductor in 
 Berlin ; at present Director of the Royal Institute for Church Music in Berlin.
 
 128 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 probably call on you, so don't be out too much. At Liszt's most stringent 
 command, I had to get yesterday a new and very elegant hat ; the old 
 one was too good-for-nothing, and I could not go out either with Liszt 
 or the Arnims in it. For this expenditure of 3 reichsthaler for a 
 birthday present de fait I am therefore not answerable. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 LEIPZIG, 3rd January 1853, 
 HOTEL DE BAVIEHE 40. 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 Warmest greetings from the Arnims and Joachim, whom 
 I left at six o'clock yesterday at Kbthen. If the former had not spent 
 all their money and we tried very hard to get them to stay a few 
 days longer I believe they would have done so. I was going to say 
 goodbye to them at the Leipzig station at half-past three, when Fraulein 
 Armgart said it was so obviously impossible that I should not accompany 
 them as far as Kb'then, that I could not do otherwise. There were now 
 two projects mooted : first, to stay the night at Kothen ; and, finally, 
 the more bold stroke that Joachim and I should both go with the 
 Arnims as far as Jiiterbog, and then return by the night train ; but both 
 these plans were given up when we found at Kothen that the trains fitted 
 in so well for us all that Joachim could start for Magdeburg at half-past 
 seven, and that I could return to Leipzig at the same moment. So 
 Joachim and I had an hour and a half together, and could lament in 
 common, and talk of many things in which we had a common interest. 
 I must confess to you that I felt the parting very keenly, and today I 
 feel rather out of my mind. I cannot come to Weimar, and also I have 
 not yet been able to do various commissions, nor to begin to copy and 
 correct my songs. Today I shall most likely spend the whole day shut 
 up in my room, and tomorrow evening, or early the next morning, I 
 will return to Weimar. 
 
 We spent New Year's Eve at Prof. Fechner's pleasant people 
 whose famulus, with whom I was once slightly acquainted, and Prof. 
 Weisse were the only other people there. The Schletter picture-gallery, 
 which contains some capital works of art, the New Year concert, a kind 
 of musical afternoon-matinee at Joachim's former teacher, Dr Klengel'?, 
 filled up our New Year's Day. 
 
 If you are ever able to think yourself into my frame of mind you 
 will understand that I cannot venture at this moment to come back. I 
 am feeling too unhappy to do so. Today I shall, in perfect quiet, pre-
 
 WEIMAR. 129 
 
 pare my songs for the press I shall hardly get them done since I can- 
 not accomplish this quickly in Weimar, as is necessary. 
 
 I hope you have begun the New Year happily, and without head- 
 ache, and that you have received the bouquets and seen Liszt. Before 
 my departure I have still to see David, Kadecke, Kistner, and others, so 
 that the time still remaining to me here is quite tilled up. . . . 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 WEIMAR, 8th January 1853. 
 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 Today, the 8th January, I have spent my birthday until 
 five o'clock this afternoon in bed, very unwell, full of sad and gloomy 
 thoughts on the one side, and on the other with the fatalist's resolution 
 of resignation to the inevitable, and to the lot assigned to me. The New 
 Year has begun very sadly for me, with the sudden death, a few days 
 ago, of Theodor Uhlig in Dresden, an old friend of mine whom I deeply 
 loved and respected. Nevertheless today I have finished with many of 
 the old things, and have made many plans, the fulfilment of which is all 
 the more sure as they are called forth by my own free will, and neither by 
 religious nor moral introspection. I am conscious that this New Year just 
 begun is the Va Banque of my life,* and I look steadfastly, though 
 also without undue exhilaration, at the shaping of my future. 
 
 You have yourself so often described your position towards me as 
 just that of my best older friend, and have thereby abdicated the throne 
 of traditional parental authority in favour of a much nobler and more 
 beautiful one. 
 
 It has been an unspeakable grief to me to get an answer from you 
 to my letter for your birthday in spite of my earnest request an answer 
 which was more miserable than I could have foreseen when I opened the 
 letter in fear and trembling. If you had not written, I could have 
 accomplished, in a succession of letters, what I had no heart for after 
 your reply. 
 
 And whilst I should have endeavoured in this manner to bring my- 
 self nearer to you again, I should have followed my real inner need ; it 
 is indeed only according to the measure of your love for me that you can 
 expect to enter into my position and frame of mind, which are of such 
 an individual and special nature that they can only be understood by one 
 who is with me, and cannot be judged by someone hundreds of miles 
 away. I am sure I am one of the least egotistic men that can be, but 
 
 * Meaning " The die is cast." 
 I
 
 130 HANS VON BtfLOW. 
 
 it is only natural that one should be more disposed at the moment to rely 
 on those who are near at hand, to give support to a man in process of 
 development, who does not yet stand on his own feet, who is not yet 
 independent, such as myself. I break off, because I have abjured all 
 bitterness of heart with the coming of the New Year. 
 
 One thing which makes it ever so much easier for me to lay aside 
 this bitterness of heart, as well as many other inborn self-tormentings, is 
 the acquaintance and intimate intercourse I have had through Liszt with 
 Frau von Arnim and her daughters. I have so very much to thank these 
 delightful people for, for they have done me ever so much good in all 
 sorts of ways, and their coming, and the being with them in Weimar, 
 forms one of the brightest spots in my existence. Without exercising 
 any injurious influence on my personal liberty, much that is hard and 
 uncouth in my outer self has been smoothed and softened by them, for 
 my own good alone. The truly rare sympathy, the manner in which 
 they singled me out, and the regard they showed me, have increased and 
 strengthened my faith in myself a thing so absolutely necessary to me 
 in the time when I must come out into publicity and into life with my 
 own individuality and have helped me indirectly to concentrate more 
 firmly my often absent mind, and have certainly also kept me from many 
 a stupidity or foolishness, into which my misanthropic and belligerent 
 temperament might otherwise have led me, without their Deus-ex- 
 7/zac^ma-appearance. With Fraulein Armgart upon whom my interest 
 was concentrated from the very beginning especially, I have struck up 
 a friendship which stands foremost in the inventory of my present feelings. 
 Unfortunately my antipathy to correspondence will not allow me to keep 
 up an unbroken intercourse with these delightful people. . . . 
 
 I hope by the end of this year to be able to congratulate you on the 
 year and on myself : at the beginning of next month, somewhere about 
 the 8th or 10th February, I am leaving here (at Liszt's desire) to give at 
 once my first concert in Vienna, which, by Liszt's mediation, will be 
 announced and arranged for me before my arrival by the music-publisher 
 Haslinger, whom I got to know personally last year in Weimar. 
 
 Liszt prognosticates a great success for me He will write to you 
 quite fully about me before I start. He has really not had time as yet, 
 and also he could not write anything so definite before, as he now can ; 
 he wanted first to know me better, and to be able definitely to gauge the 
 hopes which he has formed of me. He is extremely attached to me, and 
 assures me of this constantly ; he does more, he proves it by his actions. 
 What has made me the more dear to him is not the understanding I 
 have for him and for Art in general not my talent, which is distantly 
 related to his but my heart, and unegotistic, ready perception, which I
 
 WEIMAR. 131 
 
 showed, for instance, on the occasion of Berlioz' visit to Weimar, when I 
 tried in every possible way and with the utmost zeal to be of service to 
 him, both by writing and by action. My relations to Liszt are altogether 
 different from, and much less disturbed and much clearer than, those of 
 any other pupil or of any young artist patronised by him. 
 
 The manner in which I went through the rehearsals for public 
 performances (after Ballenstedt) this summer at Erfurt and twice at Jena, 
 where I made my debut, but always without payment ; the certainty with 
 which I also recently made my appearence as his pupil at an evening party 
 at Concertmeister David's in Leipzig, and on a rather poor instrument 
 all this confirms him in his hopes for me. My first tour will conclude at 
 latest by the middle of July. I shall only give concerts in the Austrian 
 Monarchy principal points, Vienna and Pest, and then I shall 
 return to Weimar until something fresh is settled. Liszt thinks I shall 
 " earn " a clear profit of 2000 gulden, or even more. 
 
 But in order that I may start on my career comforted and happy, I 
 must be at peace with all those nearest to me, with whom any misunder- 
 standing makes me wretched. My mother, on whose frame of mind in 
 general, as well as on whose attitude towards me, the Arnims have had 
 the happiest influence, appears quite reconciled to me, without any 
 looking back or any remains of old antipathies. Will you not be the 
 same, and believe in my devotion and love ? 
 
 In my next letter I hope to be able to send you a printed copy of 
 my songs published in Leipzig as Op. 1. 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 WEIMAR, 27th January 1853. 
 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 My warmest thanks for your kind letter, which has 
 lightened my heart of a heavy burden. Also for the enclosed assistance 
 for my journey, which I have likewise thankfully received, and mainly 
 used in paying a few remaining debts. It pleases me immensely to 
 have you again even if bodily absent present as a spectator of my 
 future successes and failures, and to reckon you among those interested 
 in the racing of my fingers. I hope often to be able to send you reports 
 and good ones from Vienna. Happiness makes me as happy to write 
 as it makes me talkative, and only when in a bad humour and despond- 
 ent do I forcibly give myself up to isolation and retirement, because 
 when the ne plus ultra of loneliness and wretchedness is reached, there 
 must be a change for the better.
 
 132 HANS VON BttLOW. 
 
 You will get a very discontented note from me today ; but for some 
 weeks past I have felt my brain in such a state of tumult that I have had 
 to give up thinking. My piano and my landlord can both testify to this ; 
 they have both suffered during this interregnum of my piano-hammering 
 hands. I practise about eight hours daily, and in the way in which I 
 do it the only one by which I can get any results it is pretty irritat- 
 ing, so that I dare attempt nothing further except the care of my bodily 
 health. In about ten days I shall be ready for my journey. I must 
 first get several manuscripts of Liszt's copied which he has lent me to 
 take with me, which will be a most interesting addition to my repertoire, 
 and of great value to me, and I must then study them as quickly as 
 possible. Among them is, for instance, one of Weber's Polonaises, 
 instrumented and arranged for orchestra; a Fantasia on Beethoven's 
 ' Ruins of Athens,' for piano and orchestra, and another on Hungarian 
 themes; all these are by Liszt, and perfectly new, not even known by 
 name. Then, indeed, before I am really absolutely ready to start, 
 there is only the unavoidable necessity of having my passport made 
 ready. May I ask your help in this matter 1 To enable me to get to 
 Vienna without hindrance, my passport must at any rate have the vise 
 of the Austrian ambassador in Berne. I should think there will be as 
 little difficulty in getting this in Berne as Berlancourt has made in giving 
 me a vise for the Prussian States and the Grand Dukedom of Baden 
 the latter without my even asking for it, out of extreme Christian human 
 kindness. Will you then be so very good as to relieve me of this burden 
 of citizenship, and to get the official to be quick. Be assured of my thanks 
 beforehand. I wait here, of course, till I get the passport back, vised or 
 not, and will at once let you know of its arrival and of the date of my 
 departure. 
 
 I have long since determined and prepared strictly to follow your 
 advice, to keep a sevenfold seal upon my lips and their guardian, my 
 heart, not only as regards politics, but in other matters also. Just as I 
 would not think of packing in my luggage one of Proudhon's pamphlets 
 concerning 1848, so I do not scruple to leave many of my opinions, 
 wishes, plans, sympathies, and antipathies behind me. As regards politics 
 especially, 1 have for a considerable time belonged to those people who 
 are indifferent from a feeling of disgust ; and little by little a number 
 of protecting membranes have formed round the still dark-red heart of 
 my political and socialistic bulb of opinion. I have for a long time resolved 
 and prepared to draw a curtain over my most secret inner being, aspirations 
 and endeavours, which, should it happen to be open for ventilation, 
 would close automatically at the sight of black and yellow barriers. My 
 exact intention in going to Vienna consists in this, to make as much
 
 WEIMAR. 133 
 
 money as possible; for a peaceful independence is absolutely essential to 
 me for the life and activity of an artist, such as I wish and hope to 
 become. Of course (and in this you will certainly trust me) I can 
 never be tempted to become a traitor to my artistic Confession of Faith, 
 or to renounce the unalterable and plain principles which I hold here. 
 Liszt will pretty nearly arrange beforehand the programme for the four 
 concerts which I am to give in Vienna, and will also specify in what 
 private circles or salons I should or should not play, etc. In addition to 
 his own letters of introduction I shall also have some of a very different 
 kind from Frau v. Liittichau, from Noels (at Thun), from the von 
 Arnims, Fanny Lewald and others, so that I shall have opportunity of 
 making myself sufficiently known. 
 
 Your letter was, alas, somewhat laconic; about yourself, Louise, 
 and Isidore, of whom I should so gladly have heard something more 
 through you, there was not a single word, nor about Willi and Heinz. 
 I hope and beg much that you will make up for this next time, so that 
 I may not feel myself so much of a stranger in the family circle at 
 Otlishausen. 
 
 It will, besides, not do for you to write to me in Vienna about 
 your literary and poetical work, in so far as this is connected with the 
 present time and its occurrences this one remark will show you that I 
 am on my guard ; and I have not only forbidden any suspicious subjects 
 to be mentioned in letters to me there, but have especially declined to 
 receive letters from friends who are at all notorious. Liszt wished you 
 would sometime make him a present of your works, at any rate of your 
 original work, your novels, etc. Please do so when you have a suitable 
 opportunity. My Spanish pupil the young Princess Wittgenstein 
 reads Manzoni's ' I Promessi Sposi ' with the assistance of your trans- 
 lation. I had got on so well in Spanish that the Princess did me the 
 honour to make use of my knowledge of it for the benefit of her 
 daughter, who, not possessing any particular social talents (such as music 
 or drawing), was to be made a linguist. This has taken up a good deal 
 of my time, but its loss was made up for by an equivalent which enabled 
 me to repay part of my debt to the Altenburg, to improve myself in 
 knowledge of the language, and to make the better acquaintance of the 
 amiable and clever young lady. We have read together ' The Faithful 
 Prince,' ' Zenobia,' ' The Physician of His Honour,' and the ' Devotion 
 to the Cross,' pretty quickly and without any assistance in the trans- 
 lation. 
 
 Frau von Herder and her son Alexander have been here several 
 weeks, and will probably remain here for some time. We see her occa- 
 sionally, though not often. I have, alas, not time enough to form a
 
 134 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 nearer acquaintance with Herr von Herder, which I should much like to 
 do. They send their best remembrances to you. I shall write a few 
 lines to Isidore, if possible, when I come back from Liszt, who will give 
 us, his pupils, a lesson again today for an hour or so. 
 
 It would be a great pleasure to me if, after a successful result of 
 my journey to Vienna and Pest, which will end just in the best travel- 
 ling time of the summer, I could visit you in Otlishausen, where I should 
 possibly still find Isidore. 
 
 My mother will feel rather lonely after parting with me. She 
 intends to spend a week in Jena, and then to go to Dresden, which is 
 always a much pleasanter place of abode for her, when I am not with her, 
 than Weimar. 
 
 It must have been shortly after receiving the above letter that Eduard 
 von Billow wrote one to his cousin Ernst, from which an extract is given 
 below, not only because it is the last letter of his extant, but, above all, 
 because it is satisfactory to see that, so short a time before his own death, 
 he was entirely at one with his son's profession and development. 
 
 EDUARD TO ERNST VON BULOW. 
 
 [1853.] 
 
 . . . "Hans has completed his musical education. His first com- 
 position is just coming out in Leipzig, and he is now going off on his 
 first great concert-tour to Vienna and Pest. If he is fortunate, we shall 
 soon hear things publicly to his honour. Liszt has the highest expecta- 
 tions of his success, and has earned Hans' deepest gratitude by having 
 entirely reconciled his mother to himself and his vocation. I am thoroughly 
 satisfied with him in every respect, both as regards the development of 
 his character, conduct, learning and art. He is happy and contented in 
 the latter, and will, as I confidently hope, do us honour. 
 
 In his political principles he remains unchanged, for which God be 
 praised ; but he has learnt to control himself and to be silent until 
 better times. You will perhaps smile at the rosy colour of this letter, 
 but I assure you it is real ; and, should Heaven sooner or later afflict me 
 with the reverse of the medal, well, I must bear it too." . . . 
 
 Franziska, writing from Dresden to her daughter at Otlishausen, on the 
 4th March 1853, says : 
 
 " At a quarter to ten on Wednesday night Hans started for Vienna, 
 where I earnestly hope he has safely arrived. He has six letters from
 
 WE1MAB. 135 
 
 Liszt letters such as he rarely gives. Amongst other things Liszt 
 writes : 
 
 ' Je reclame tous les services de mes amis pour lui comme pour moi 
 meme, et les consid^rerais comme rendus a ma personne, car je le recon* 
 nais comme mon successeur legitime, comme mon heritier de par la grace 
 de Dieu et de son talent.' "
 
 AUSTRIA
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 AUSTRIA. 
 
 SPRING SUMMER, 1853. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 VIENNA, Palm Sunday, 1853, I2th March. 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 You will have been anxious at hearing nothing from me for 
 so long. I ain extremely sorry about it, but I did not want to make you 
 positively unhappy for no good, and that is the reason I did not write. 
 I wanted to wait till I had given my second concert, at which a change 
 for the better in my fate was possible this second concert took place 
 yesterday (Saturday) evening at half-past 9 o'clock. Now my patience 
 to bear my unlucky fate is quite exhausted. I am writing this to you 
 in bed ; I have no strength to get up, and I only wonder that my dis- 
 gust with life allows me to write at all. 
 
 My first concert, apart from expenses, which amounted to 133 florins 
 16 kreutzer, brought me in 28 florins I have all the receipts, so that I 
 know I have not been cheated. So that I had 105 florins to pay ! "With 
 this amount to the bad, I had bought the privilege of seeing my name 
 cut up in the most nonsensical manner in more than a dozen papers. 
 Ignominious existence ! I have fretted about this comparatively little, 
 but it has disheartened me nevertheless, and made me unhappy, in spite 
 of the success which I enjoyed with a free-ticket public. None of my 
 introductions have been of the slightest use. Stockhausen, Dietrichstein, 
 Thun, Konneritz, not a man amongst them came to either of my 
 concerts. Liszt's letters have been of just as little use to me. No one 
 has shown the slightest interest in me, except Haslinger, who did so 
 " ex officio," looking after the business arrangements for me if I had
 
 140 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 dome it alone it would have been more economical and Dr Liszt* and 
 Lbwy.f You have no idea how lonely and dreadfully forsaken I feel ! 
 Living here is immoderately dear. I did not remain 48 hours in the 
 hotel, yet they reckoned it as 3 days by the dates ; by great good luck 
 I found some lodgings in the inner city, on the second floor, for 15 
 florins a month without attendance. That is tremendously cheap for 
 here. My address for the present is, Spenglergasse, ' Zum Auge Gottes,' 
 c/o Herr Landrath von Bujan. In a suburb I could not possibly have 
 lived ; it would have been too far away, and the mud in the 37 suburbs 
 is so thick that one might spend a whole day in getting from one road 
 to another. I am as much exhausted as my purse is from the constant 
 running and driving about. In spite of the utmost economy, one spends 
 more here in a single week than in three weeks anywhere else. If Liszt 
 had not lent me 200 florins, instead of 100, I should have had nothing 
 to live on after I had paid for my first concert. I can give you proofs of 
 my carefulness if it interests you, as I have kept an exact account of my 
 expenditure from day to day. 
 
 If only you knew how hard it is to me to go on writing ; how diffi- 
 cult it is to me to conquer the deep loathing that my present experiences 
 in Vienna have given me, in order to tell you how things have gone with 
 me, and what a pitiable state of mind and life mine is at present ! As if 
 I had not had enough unhappiness up to now ! What will happen to me 
 next, I have not the remotest idea. Thus much as a preliminary : the 
 costs of my second concert, which will run up to about the same sum as 
 the first, I cannot pay, even if I left myself without a farthing in my 
 pocket. Possibly someone will lend me the money ; perhaps Lbwy, but 
 perhaps also not. Perhaps His Majesty Chance will help me, if misery 
 gives me a letter of recommendation to him. I am on the right road to 
 become a great man, according to Napoleon's judgment. Moreover the 
 inauguration of the proletariat is not enjoyable. Today my strength 
 feels quite shattered ; perhaps tomorrow I shall recover it. For once I 
 shall experience the piquant situation of living not merely from day to 
 day, but from hour to hour. Perhaps tomorrow I shall say quite truly 
 " I have rested my hopes upon nothing." But, alas, that is impossible, 
 as my hopes are already resting on less than nothing. But I have not 
 told you anything about yesterday. I practised the whole day like a 
 madman. When, late in the afternoon, I learned that not a fifth of my 
 expenses would be covered, when I saw that the wretched weather would 
 
 * Dr Eduard Liszt was the younger step-brother of Franz Liszt's father ; Liszt 
 was accustomed to call him his cousin, 
 t Lowy, a banker, and friend of Liszt.
 
 AUSTRIA. 141 
 
 probably keep away the few people who did intend to be present, such a 
 state of stupidity and overpowering despondency took possession of me 
 that I became quite unsusceptible to any applause, and played the last 
 piece (Midsummer Night's Dream) almost badly. (Don't imagine that the 
 lateness of the hour was a stupidity on my part here you cannot do 
 otherwise no concert takes place while the theatre is going on, and 
 people like best to come on to a concert from the Italian Opera.) There 
 was only one feeble call for me at the end, which is here equivalent to a 
 fiasco. You have no idea how I felt ; I should just have liked to break 
 off in the middle of my playing and hurl a few chairs at the public, and 
 improvise the most utter rubbish on the piano the critic will inveigh 
 against me in any case, I thought to myself ; in any case I have not the 
 wherewith to pay the expenses ! Last night I was in a perfect fever, and 
 could not sleep ; perhaps I shall have a downright illness. 
 
 Of Vienna itself I have seen very little. Before the result of my 
 concerts I have been to no theatre, and would not go in for any pleasure 
 of any kind. If only I knew what will become of me now, and what I 
 must, or rather can, attempt. For today I can stop in bed and not 
 trouble myself about anything; but tomorrow 1 Curses on my coming 
 to Vienna ! I should have done better to accept the post Frau v. Liittichau 
 offered me, through you, of accompanist or chorus-director in Dresden, 
 than to pay for the chase after a shadow by the loss of all happiness 
 in life. 
 
 On the 3rd April I am to play Bach's Triple Concerto at a concert 
 spirituel with the pianist Dachs and Professor Fischhoff, who, although 
 I had no introduction to him, has received me in the most friendly 
 manner. The invitation is an honourable one, but of course I don't 
 know how much longer I shall stay here. Probably nothing will come 
 of it. I understand now the expression, "forsaken by God and all the 
 world." 
 
 On you, dear mother, I would on no account do you hear, on no 
 account be a burden any longer. If however there could be anything 
 done with regard to the accompanist post in Dresden I should not like 
 to come to grief here ignominiously. Nowhere do I see a way out, 
 nowhere does a rescuing hand show me such a thing. And my 
 superstition that I shall not die before September 1855 forsakes me, 
 as that in Liszt's ring* and some other superstitions have already 
 forsaken me. 
 
 I, fool that I was, thought that I should find roses in Vienna, my 
 hands still bleeding from the thorns of earlier days ! Spine senza rose ! 
 
 * Liszt lent Biilow a ring as a talisman.
 
 142 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 That also applies, because the two Spinas,* to whom Liszt introduced 
 me, have done nothing whatever for me. 
 
 If I see any prospect of the slightest improvement in my position, 
 I will write to you at once, so as not to keep you longer in suspense. 
 I promise you this by all the love and gratitude I feel towards 
 you. 
 
 The poor mother, at home in Dresden, passed through a long and weary 
 time of waiting, till at last, after receiving the first letter from Vienna (the 
 above), she wrote to her daughter : 
 
 " From Hans I have only heard once, and that was bad news ; I am hourly 
 hoping for better tidings. Liszt, with whom I am in correspondence, does 
 certainly not lose hope, but, much as I love him, that does not comfort me. 
 Everything that I foresaw, when he took that unlucky step in the autumn of 
 1850, has come to pass literally. God forgive those who led him to it." 
 
 LISZT TO FRANZISKA V. BULOW. 
 
 WEYMAR, 2Qth March [1853]. 
 MADAME, 
 
 Before receiving your letter, for which I beg you to accept 
 my best thanks, I had received from various quarters news of your son, 
 who, up to the present time, has not written to me. Upon the whole, I 
 am far from judging his actual position at Vienna to be as bad as he 
 seems to have described it to you. The losses which his two first 
 concerts have occasioned him can easily be made up, and I am going to 
 write to him directly, to recommend him in a friendly spirit not to give 
 way to a despondency or ill-humour which would not be at all in season. 
 The experience I have gained in these matters allows me to tranquillize 
 you as to the final result of his journey to Vienna, which, I am persuaded, 
 will appear more favourable to the interests of his talent, his career, and 
 even his purse, than you imagine possible at this moment. The only 
 thing necessary is that he must not let himself be discouraged, and that 
 he must preserve a little sangfroid, in order to profit by the means which 
 will continue to offer, of conquering step by step the ground to which he 
 has a right. The bitter and onesided tone of the newspaper critic ought 
 not to make him in the least uneasy ; he must learn to bear his part in 
 these things quietly, like a man of sense and talent : chances of this sort 
 must not be considered as sinister, and have never prevented anybody 
 
 * Music publishers in Vienna.
 
 AUSTRIA. 143 
 
 from taking his right place, as our friend Hans will be able to do, be it a 
 little sooner or a little later. During the months of April and May I 
 advise him to remain in Vienna, except for a short journey to Pest at an 
 opportune moment, about which they will be able to advise him at 
 Vienna. It is probable that he will earn some money at Pest, and 
 perhaps at Pressburg ; but, in order to attain this end, I consider it 
 indispensable for him to take a more permanent footing in Vienna than 
 he can do in a fortnight. As he is extremely intelligent, and possesses 
 all that is needful to make a good and fine career, it will be best to leave 
 him entirely free in his actions and movements during these two months, 
 and simply to help him to bear calmly the ill-chances which are inevitable 
 in this profession. 
 
 My cousin, Dr Eduard Liszt, will remit to him the 100 florins which 
 he wants at once, and he will hold another 100 at his disposal later on. 
 
 Pray believe me, Madame; there is really nothing to be anxious 
 about, still less to lament over Hans in regard to his two concerts in Vienna, 
 and I hope you will soon get news which will help to make you share the 
 security and confidence which I continue to hold. Pray believe me, 
 Madame, with every expression of respectful friendship, yours sincerely, 
 
 F. LISZT. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER 
 
 VIENNA, 27th March 1853. 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 A thousand thanks for your dear letter, which has done 
 me no end of good ! Certainly if there ever were a time when I needed it, 
 this letter is a convincing proof that I have no cause to feel myself alone and 
 forsaken ! I have had to go through much here up to the present time 
 vexations enough for a whole year, and all compressed into scarcely three 
 weeks. Passion week, at the beginning of which I wrote to you, brought 
 me so many unpleasant experiences. The severe influenza from which I 
 have been suffering, and which is now over, gave me an opportunity to 
 rest a little, which was no small advantage to me, after the nervous 
 excitement into which events now past had thrown me. Much as I 
 missed the care which would have enabled me to throw off my severe 
 cold much sooner, yet I was comforted for the want of it by the thought 
 that you could not hear the dreadful concert my cough made, which 
 forcibly reminded me of the happier days of my childhood. However I 
 hope to be better in a few days than I was when I arrived in Vienna, 
 ready to carry on my career with new and fresh energy, with the feeling
 
 144 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 of having got back to my old self again, since you advise me to do this, 
 and will not forsake me. 
 
 Liszt has been already fully informed of the unfortunate results of 
 my first two concerts, and of the non-success of his letters of introduction, 
 etc. ; of course not by me that would not have been proper but by 
 Lbwy and Haslinger. 
 
 Let me give vent here to my anger about one of the wretched things 
 that happened to me, of which I have gone through so many ; I am 
 certain you won't misunderstand my feelings about it. 
 
 That rich Councillor X. (the composer), for whom Liszt has done so 
 much he has given two of his operas in Weimar, having touched up his 
 last score a la Voltaire and to whom he very specially introduced me, 
 did not go to my first concert, although I had already played in his salon 
 one evening. One morning he is at Haslinger's, making an offer to their 
 publishing firm, when I accidentally come in ; I praise his songs and his 
 opera with the unfeigned wellwishing of impartial irony, and express the 
 wish to utilize some of the motifs out of his last opera for a piano piece 
 that very morning I had made up a combination of them in involuntary 
 reminiscences at the piano and am now really taken up with doing this, 
 as he naturally brought me the opera at once, the other day. He was 
 visibly touched, and when, later on, Haslinger reproached him for not 
 having gone to my concert after I had already played to him, he took 
 3 reserved stalls, but did not pay for them at the time. And I saw him 
 at my second concert with his wife and child the concert-room man has 
 been to him several times to ask for the 9 florins, and was dismissed the 
 last time by X., who said he would pay me the money himself. As X. 
 has sense and also knows me a little, you can well imagine that he never 
 intended for a moment to commit any such insolence. But he did 
 commit that of asking me the other day to meet Dreyschock, who was 
 to play at his house. Although I was ill, of course I went, in order not 
 to give occasion, by my absence, to any misconstruction. Except for this, 
 X. is sensible, amiable, and a most decent fellow ! 
 
 One who stands out as quite an exceptional man, not only in himself, 
 but also towards me, is Eduard Liszt, cousin, or rather, young uncle of 
 the real one. A most excellent man, one in whom one might have 
 absolute confidence, without any repeated solicitation. He advanced me 
 some money also lately on his own authority, when I told him in what 
 want I was placed. 
 
 A few days ago Liszt wrote to me and begged me to do him a service. 
 It is a diplomatic-musical mission to a Hungarian Count, who has ;: 
 property in the neighbourhood of Odenburg. He has given me the 
 necessary 30 florins for the journey. I shall start in a few days' time
 
 AUSTRIA. 145 
 
 if the weather improves a little : we have had such a severe winter here 
 as has not been known for years in Vienna in March, the snow lying 
 as deep as it was in Weimar when we left, and the railway connection 
 checked by little delays. I shall take the opportunity of playing 
 in the Odenburg theatre (where at any rate I shall have no expenses), in 
 order to go a step further in breaking myself of the lamplight fever,* 
 and to get accustomed to playing Hungarian pieces, on which I am 
 principally reckoning for Pest, where the outlook is a much more cheerful 
 one for me. Of course I must first let Dreyschock get his visit over ; 
 he is at present here, but wants nevertheless to get to Pressburg and 
 Pest before me. Dreyschock is an homme-machine, the personification 
 of absence of genius, with the exterior of the clown. For the rest, we 
 have no personal acquaintance with each other. 
 
 I have a clear conscience that I have not got into bad society. Some- 
 times I have not any at all, and then I gladly give the waiter a tip, at 
 the coffee-house where I sup, simply to hear a friendly " Good evening." 
 
 I like Fraulein Paoli very much ; t I have been to see her a couple 
 of times ; she has too small a connection to be able to be of use to me, 
 and I don't want to have to thank her for little " nothings " which try to 
 make believe that they are " something." In spite of her being unmusical 
 she went to my concert ; I had sent her tickets ; and she said the very 
 same thing that Fischhoff afterwards said to her of me that if there 
 were any fault to find with my playing it was that I put too much thought 
 into it. That is true, and it is also true that it is a fault, because it leads 
 into a fragmentary and unintelligible rendering. Fischhoff, to whom I had 
 no introduction, has nevertheless been most friendly to me all the same. 
 
 The Laubes, to whom I sent tickets for my concerts, of which they 
 made use, invited me lately to supper. They were most kind to me. 
 Bauernfeld, Dawison, and Baron Stolzenberg (the real Duke of Dessau) 
 were there. If Frau v. Liittichau would still send me a line to Laube, 
 I should be very much obliged to her ; perhaps then he would let me 
 have the Burg-theatre for nothing. 
 
 I would write more to you, but it tires me so ; I have really been 
 very unwell ; the thanks, which I wanted to express to you warmer than 
 ever this time, are silent, but deep and lasting. Your letter really 
 warmed my heart, and if I again feel myself a man it is chiefly owing to 
 you. I shall write to my father directly (to Odenburg). How is Isidore, 
 and, above all, how are you yourself? The MilanolloJ is here now, and 
 
 * Meaning, playing in public. 
 
 t Elisabeth Gliick, 1815-94, an Austrian poetess and writer, who took the 
 name of Betty Paoli. 
 
 J Teresa Milanollo, 1827, a firstrate violinist.
 
 146 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 absorbs every interest. I sball not give my third concert before the 
 24th April, which is a Sunday, the only day when a concert is well 
 filled. Anyone who thus gets a Sunday is really a " Sunday child," for 
 these days are few and are generally secured a year in advance. 
 
 I came here much too late, was also announced too late, and thus 
 gave my concerts under the most unfavourable circumstances imaginable. 
 After well considering everything I see that I must try to make my way 
 here, in spite of all hindrances, or even because of them. If I give my 
 concert on the 24th April with orchestra the expenses will be considerable, 
 but I think that it is just by my playing with orchestra that I should have 
 a success : the trite ' Concertstiicke ' of Weber and Mendelssohn were 
 what made Dreyschock's success. After the way I have begun, I cannot 
 draw back from the position I took up at my first debut. How sad and 
 discouraging everything here was for me ! Even people of the most 
 subordinate talent find here and there someone to give them a lift on, or 
 a sincere and kindly-disposed criticism ; I have found nothing of all this. 
 Not a soul has done anything con amore for me ! And how careful I 
 have been to be everywhere courteous and cautious ! . . . My introduc- 
 tions ! I wish I could cut all the letters of this word out of the alphabet 
 for ever ! 
 
 As I lay in bed for several days from 7 o'clock in the evening till 
 2 o'clock the next afternoon, I comforted myself immensely by reading 
 Balzac ! Never could it have been more suitable than in my present mood, 
 and nothing could have suited that mood better ! At the same time I 
 instrumentated my Caesar March afresh out of my head, so that it might be 
 played by Johann Strauss' son, who is a true successor to his father ; 
 his orchestra is firstrate and his Waltzes most piquant. I have also 
 begun a couple of little drawingroom pieces. Now I am getting an 
 unconquerable thirst for some sort of amusement ! 
 
 I want to ask your advice once more about my concert. There is 
 still plenty of time. 
 
 Next Sunday, this day week at mid-day, I am to play Bach's Triple 
 Concerto with Fischhoff and a local (good) pianist named Dachs, and 
 orchestra. That means certain anticriticism ; at the same concert there will 
 be a Beethoven Overture and a Mendelssohn Symphony it is considered 
 the most artistic (also really the best) Concert-Society that there is here. 
 
 The only official Vienna paper speaks decently of me, but on the 
 other hand gives free vent to its rage against Liszt (revers de la medaille). 
 ... So of course I can't send this criticism anywhere ! My friend of 
 University days, Herzfeld, has been very nice to me, inviting me to a 
 very pleasant party at his parents', and, although I sent him plenty of 
 tickets, he also took some more, as I afterwards learned. It is 11 o'clock ;
 
 AUSTRIA. 147 
 
 by this time I have been already asleep on other nights. I am tired and 
 weak; I have written at such length in order that you may not be 
 anxious any more. 
 
 A thousand thanks for all your love and kindness ! Good night. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER 
 
 VIENNA, Uth April 1853. 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 Just returned from my 6 days' stay at Odenburg I find 
 your letter here, the third which Frau Bayer delivers to me. I reply at 
 once, to give you good news which will make you happy it is not that 
 my position has, outwardly, materially improved in any way, or allows 
 of anything more than mere hopes, but it is that I feel myself morally 
 and physically pretty well and brisk. The little excursion has done me 
 a great deal of good. I have breathed again. The commission I had to 
 execute for Liszt I believe I have done to his satisfaction, and the days 
 passed pleasantly for me. This was how it was. I found a couple of 
 amiable, cordial men, at whose house I generally spent most of the day, 
 like Litolff with us. Quite by chance I had a letter of introduction 
 offered me to a well-to-do Hungarian family, v. Lenhard, who shewed me 
 such kindness and sympathy as I have never yet experienced. The only 
 outlay which they expected from me on my side was that I should give 
 a few music lessons for nothing to their little girl of 13, who was very 
 talented and intelligent in music, though a fearfully spoilt child. As I 
 wanted to breathe for a few days far away from my thoroughly detested 
 Vienna, I improvised a concert in the theatre (half to kill time), by 
 which I paid my expenses and my stay. I was in an excellent mood, 
 although the piano was not up to much, and I made an unprecedented 
 furore. I had a small, but a very select, audience, almost all in the 
 boxes, the entire Hungarian haute volee, such as the Erdbdy, Pallavicini 
 and Festetics families, Count Montenuovo (son of Marie Louise), etc., 
 people who otherwise never go to the theatre. The ladies applauded 
 madly, and discovered in my face a great deal of likeness to Liszt. . . . 
 I began with the Volkshymne,* a captatio benevolentice of the garrison, 
 and was called forwards ten times in all. I had to play the Hungarian 
 Melodies over again, and I should have had to repeat the last piece also 
 if it had not been for a cabal of the servants of the theatre, who were 
 tired of the music, and prevented the curtain being raised the third time. 
 
 * Popular hymn.
 
 148 HANS VON BtJLOW. 
 
 ... I am very glad to have had this little general rehearsal of 
 Hungarian pieces, because I now feel quite sure of my things for 
 Presshurg and Pest. I am at present waiting for an answer from 
 Hunyadi, whom you got to know at the Arnims in the elephant,* as to 
 when I am expected there. 
 
 Dreyschock is giving concerts at this moment at the above cities. 
 Count Leo Festetics, the Intendant of the Hungarian National Theatre, a 
 friend of Liszt's, has already placed his theatre and a third of the net 
 receipts at my disposal whereas he has refusedDreyschock's request for it. 
 Whenever I come back from Pest I think I shall again give a concert 
 at Odenburg, as I should then have quite a full house this time 
 the concert was a too hurriedly improvised one. The afore-mentioned 
 family have raved about me to such a degree that they will come to my 
 concerts here also, and have made me promise to sit to a painter there 
 for them. 
 
 Now to the most important thing. I have not yet announced a 
 concert, but I must do so at once. As I stand here at present, I slink 
 away from the scene of my first deeds like a thief and, besides all else, 
 honour is also lost. Liszt has strengthened me especially in this respect, 
 by his decided wish that I should make myself a firmer footing here 
 above everything. This I must do before the end of the season, or I shall 
 throw my whole career back a year. I must therefore now give a 
 concert that will make its mark, and therefore it must be with orchestra ; 
 I hope, I am convinced, that I shall then succeed. But, as I said the 
 money ! The expenses of such a concert will amount to 1 80 thalers ! 
 Although I am certain to make the half of this sum, yet I must first 
 possess it, so as to have no anxieties of such a material nature, if I 
 would come out in a manner worthy of myself and of Liszt. Freiherr v. 
 Miinch-Bellinghausen,t who called upon me, said to me, " Orchestral com- 
 positions of Liszt would have tempted many unmusical men, that is, men 
 lazy about concerts, like myself." ... If I give a concert with orchestra, 
 that is, a concert in which I have such immense expenses, then I could 
 ask the Bayer to take part in it ; but if I ask her to help in quite a 
 simple concert, then that looks like sending the hat round, and in saying 
 that I have said everything. ... At this moment the Milanollo is 
 mistress of the ground, being the fashion, which she deserves to be, for 
 it is worth very little ; she gives on Monday her 6th concert, and 
 then, I believe, half a dozen more. ... Of course I must let her get 
 out of the way first. And by that time it is to be hoped that Spring 
 
 * Refers to some private joke or nickname. See letter to Cornelius, page 124. 
 f The poet Halm,
 
 AUSTRIA. 149 
 
 will no longer be here, all the more so, as today the thermometer was 
 below freezing point. 
 
 This very day I will write to Liszt about the concert, and will beg 
 him to give you his opinion about it, as he does not yet appear to have 
 done so. ... It would have been much the best if I had ventured to 
 give my first concert with orchestra. I cannot tell you how much of my 
 heart's blood and of my life I would give to gain a victory, and I shall 
 never need one as I do in this decisive year. Perhaps I can go to Pest 
 beforehand, and save there as much as I shall require to give a concert 
 here. This would have to take place on the 28th April or the 1st May, 
 and I must decide it a week beforehand. Don't you know anybody who 
 could lend me a portion of this sum 1 The trade I am now driving has 
 truly no shadow-side, but only a side of dark night. It is horrible ! To 
 have to buy the means to authenticate one's existence as an artist ! 
 
 But I am writing to you confusedly and vaguely perhaps I shall 
 receive the long looked-for letter from Pest, so that I can go there at 
 once, where I will risk everything, so that with the motto " Liszt et mon 
 talent " I may rout the Bohemian musician from the field ! 
 
 Thun has inquired many times how things were going with me ; 
 today I will thank him for it. As I said fi des lettres de recommenda- 
 tion; should this mark of sympathy move me to tears, or can it pay my 
 way for me 1 I have both courage and energy now, that is true, and I 
 am also en train to play (this in answer to your last letter but one, 
 which I have just read through again) ; only give me a room to play in, 
 and some sensible, artistic people in it ! 
 
 As regards my social behaviour, the most adverse critic could find 
 nothing to carp at in it. I am conscious that I have spoken and acted 
 everywhere prudently, worthily, as a gentleman, and, what is more, as an 
 honest man. I have never derogated from my own dignity, and was so 
 far an aristocrat that I have never been to excesses or over-loud. Don't 
 laugh, for I must have something to be satisfied with, and as I can't be 
 with other people I must be so with myself, faute de mieux. 
 
 Of Balzac I have read ' Histoire des Treize,' 'L'Interdiction ' 
 (splendid), ' Honorine ' (ditto), and I know not what besides ; but I 
 know of nothing more inciting, nothing more calculated to take the 
 bitter edge off irony, and to settle all its elements of fermentation down 
 into a non- effervescent humour. 
 
 I lately praised Betty Paoli very highly in my diary. The next time 
 I saw her she did not please me. I have a right to feel superstitious 
 it always does me harm, regularly and without exception, to praise the 
 day before the evening has come, the week before the Sunday, or the 
 month before the first of the next has arrived.
 
 150 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 And as regards my feelings today I must say, Unberufen f* Be at 
 ease about me, for I continually feel once more that I shall not so easily 
 lose my energy again, nor let my desire to fight with or against the 
 world fade away. 
 
 I lately saw the Bayer in Grillparzer's ' Hero.' (She had sent me a 
 ticket.) You cannot imagine anything more beautiful. She is a true 
 artist, and more than highly gifted she does not need to make herself 
 appear so. ... She cuts up Saphir, and has paid him neither with 
 money nor with compliments. 
 
 Above all else do write to me now something about yourself, your 
 life in Dresden, and how you are. If this careless style of letter is of 
 any interest to you, I will often write to you. 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 VIENNA, 20th April 1853. 
 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 Up to the present time I could only have given you the 
 worst possible tidings about my first journey and its experiences and 
 results, and on that account I have left it alone altogether. It is only 
 now that my good humour and freshness and inborn energy enable me, 
 by God's grace, to raise myself to a more cheerful and hopeful mood, 
 from the disconsolate and pitiable state in which my first endeavours 
 after distinction had placed me it is only now that I turn again to you, 
 who are, alas, so far away from me, and whose paternal sympathy I cannot, 
 from political circumspection, ever dare to beg for by a direct letter. 
 
 Bad luck has followed me here in Vienna with a pertinacity and 
 steadiness which never seem to belong to good luck. I came here with 
 absolutely no sanguine illusions, but fate has even surpassed my worst 
 fears. My first two concerts, on the 15th and 19th March, have left me 
 " down " both in purse and spirits, and richer only in bitter experience. 
 I have learned too late that in our day it is not enough to have a talent, 
 but that it is impossible to turn one's talent into fame and money unless 
 one first begins by an outlay of money. I also came here at an unlucky 
 moment ; Dreyschock, who has been giving concerts for 1 5 years, and 
 who has thus attained great certainty, routine, and European fame of a 
 kind, was just making a ... got-up furore. . . . f 
 
 * The nearest English equivalent to this much used German expression is ' low 
 be it spoken.' 
 
 f Here follows a full description of his experiences and state of depression, the 
 same as in the letter to his mother.
 
 AUSTRIA. 151 
 
 To this utter depression in the literal sense of the word it was but 
 natural at least according to my nature that a reaction should follow. 
 I am now with pride and joy in the reactionary state, and have hope and 
 courage once more. I will now tell you the principal things. ... I 
 am now daily awaiting tidings from Pest as to whether this is a favour- 
 able moment for giving concerts there shall then write to Liszt, who 
 has promised me letters of introduction for Pest, which will be sure to 
 be of more use to me than those to Vienna, as Liszt's name is revered in 
 an almost fanatical manner in Hungary, whereas in Vienna they seem to 
 wish to revenge themselves, by their indifference, for having formerly 
 been so fascinated by him. 
 
 I cannot write anything of my impressions of Vienna. I keep aloof 
 from everything ; the people I have got to know are of the kind of whom 
 " distance lends enchantment to the view." 
 
 I am writing a couple of piano pieces, am instrumentating my Caesar 
 Overture Johann Strauss plays the March from Caesar at his suirees with 
 great eclat, and I trouble myself about nothing. Write to me soon 
 something about yourself. 
 
 TO HIS FATHER. 
 
 VIENNA, 7th May 1853. 
 
 I have given two concerts in Pressburg. 
 
 I cannot think about a third concert in Vienna till after my return 
 from Pest ; and that only if it does not appear too risky. 
 
 My first book of songs has appeared in print. The second will 
 follow in a fortnight at latest. I will take an opportunity of sending 
 them to Louise, if she, in her amiability, will not be discouraged 
 by the trouble, from seeking out their beauties. At this moment I 
 am writing a Fantasia on one of Verdi's operas, ' Rigoletto ; ' his best, 
 which really shows traces of great talent. Haslinger will publish it 
 directly it is ready. If the orchestra wishes to be paid, it must submit 
 to the wishes of the pay-master. Forgive me this headachy style and 
 medley.
 
 152 HANS VON BiiLOW. 
 
 TO HIS FATHER 
 
 VIENNA, 2lst May 1853. 
 
 DEAREST FATHER, 
 
 I had promised you to write again before starting for Pest 
 for I presume you received my last letter, in which I thanked you for 
 your prompt help, and begged you for speedy tidings about your health, 
 before you left for Stuttgart. Well, I am pretty well (low be it spoken) 
 in body and spirit, and intend to start for Pest tomorrow morning early 
 (Sunday, 22nd May), the city which I have long regarded, perhaps too 
 hopefully, as a Canaan after the Desert of Vienna. Liszt wrote to me 
 a few days ago, sent me a heap of letters of introduction, and advises me 
 to stay there as long as possible, and to give as many concerts as prac- 
 ticable. Here in Vienna it would be madness to risk another. The 
 charlatan Therese Milan olio has become the fashion here ; the perfectly 
 unrecognisable disguise under which Dame Art nowadays travels about. 
 Her old father has been on the watch lately, on account of the incom- 
 petent sale of tickets. 
 
 Herr v. Zedlitz has most kindly given me a passport from the 
 "Weimar Embassy for three months ; he inquired after you, and I do 
 ditto herewith in the superlative degree, by begging you to let me know 
 as soon as possible how you are progressing in your convalescence, 
 whether your accident has had any bad consequences, etc., and whether 
 the Spring now beginning is doing you good 1 
 
 I cannot write much to you today, as I am busy with packing, letter 
 writing, and putting my things in order, for I am leaving part of them 
 behind me, as I shall come to Vienna again on my way back from Pest, 
 before I perhaps go to Liszt again in Weimar. If any of the Hungarian 
 nobility should invite me to spend a couple of weeks with them in the 
 country, Liszt has told me to accept the invitation. I shall play in Pest 
 the first time in the Hungarian National Theatre, during the entr'acte of 
 a comedy ; after that Count Leo Festetics will make a contract with me 
 for further performances. As I have a lot of Hungarian pieces by Liszt 
 in my repertoire, it is best for me to address myself to the national 
 public. 
 
 Yesterday I went to see Thalberg, and heard him play. Liszt had 
 most urgently desired me to go and see him, and I was very much 
 rewarded by the real pleasure it gave me to hear his exquisitely poetical 
 and thoroughly finished execution, although he really was only making 
 little musical jokes. He is an out and out aristocratic, blase, and hard-
 
 AUSTRIA. 153 
 
 living man of the world, who subsists on his property. Of course he 
 lives here in the palace of Prince Dietrichstein. 
 
 Isidore really ought to write to me again ; I do beg that she will. 
 She must excuse me, because I really have not time, and also, what is 
 not quite synonymous, that I am not in the mood for it. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 Le lendemain de la premiere victoire. 
 
 BUDAPEST, 2nd June 1853. 
 ERZHERZOG STEPHAN HOTEL. 78. 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 It would have amused you to be present yesterday evening 
 at my triumph in the National Theatre. The shouts of " eljen " are 
 still ringing in my ears, and they sound rather better than the German- 
 Italian " bravo " ! They tell me there has not been such a fuss made 
 about a virtuoso for a long time. Dreyschock, my latest forerunner, has 
 been completely conquered by me in Pest, which has given the lie to 
 Vienna in a brilliant manner. We will now wait and see what the 
 critics say ; I daresay the German ones will find fault because I played 
 in a Hungarian theatre (just as though Pest were a German town !), and 
 here such a petty rivalry-swindle about nationality obtains. I am going 
 on further today (3rd June), as I was yesterday interrupted by the 
 fathers of my friends Joachim and Singer, who came, together with a lot 
 of other people, to wish me joy of my " triumph." It was an unparalleled 
 triumph, according to what everyone says. 
 
 I have not the presumption to imagine that this triumph is my own 
 work. The greatest share of it is due to Liszt's name, to his divine 
 compositions the Hungarian piece with orchestral accompaniment, and 
 the ' Rondo alia Turca ' on motifs from Beethoven's ' Ruines d'Athenes ' 
 (also by him). But, on the other hand, I did not play badly ; there was 
 fire in my playing, I felt more sure than I have ever done before, and of 
 course I played by heart (for Erkel wanted the score to conduct from), 
 and with perfect freedom and security ; every nuance, every accelerando 
 or ritardando was so thoroughly understood and followed by the superb 
 conductor and the splendid orchestra, that it was a pleasure to listen to 
 such an accompaniment. How quickly the public took it up, you have 
 no idea ! The boxes and galleries were full to overflowing ; the pit 
 empty none of the bourgeoisie. I was perpetually interrupted by 
 applause not applause, but wild cheers. I was compelled to repeat the
 
 154 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 Frischka * of the Hungarian Ehapsody. . . . All the people I have seen 
 today, both ladies and gentlemen, are still overflowing with enthusiasm 
 for Liszt and myself. That such a public still exists this has given me 
 enormous encouragement both for my playing and composition. 
 
 4th June. 
 
 I have so many letters to write to-day. 
 
 The two brothers Doppler, conductors, composers, and superb 
 flautists, are making a short pleasure trip to Germany. I am sending 
 them also to Lipinski they are Poles by birth. If Frau v. Liittichau 
 can work it for them to play at Court she should do so for their 
 sakes. 
 
 The Magyar press is full of enthusiasm ; they call me great, highly 
 gifted. No criticism ; enthusiasm. The official paper praises me very 
 much, speaks at some length about Liszt and myself, and hopes that I 
 shall play again soon and frequently. And yet, in spite of Liszt's 
 letter of introduction, Count Festetics has never been to see me again, 
 and postponed the day of my debut arbitrarily, without letting me know 
 a word about it, letting me run backwards and forwards all that long 
 way to the theatre-offices about the arrangements ever so many times, 
 and so on. I expect he will treat me just the same about the money 
 matters I had a feeling of scruple that kept me from mentioning this 
 matter to him, because Liszt had introduced me to him. With Liszt's 
 introductions I have very little luck. Herr v. Augusz has started on a 
 circular tour through the country with the Archduke, and will not be 
 back till next week. He was most kind on my first visit, and spoke to 
 me of Liszt's letter, which gave him great pleasure, and in which Liszt 
 introduced me as his heritier et successeur. 
 
 The Archbishop of Pest, to whom Liszt also gave me an introduction, 
 has meanwhile become a Cardinal, and lives at Gran. Herr Guido v. 
 Karatsonyi, a great lover of horses, a tall, handsome young man, but very 
 stout, and who has lately become a millionaire through his wife, has 
 been very pleasant to me. Yesterday I dined there with Capellmeister 
 Erkel. Very agreeable. I cannot play at the Nemzeti szinhaz (the 
 National Theatre) before Monday week. So meanwhile a private 
 concert must be arranged. At the ' Hotel d'Europe,' where Dreyschock 
 gave his concerts, the Chinese Chungakai, etc., are going to appear, so I 
 must try to get the Lloyd salon. Dr. Ungar, the barrister, and corre- 
 spondent of the Auysburger (an intimate friend of the Stirnbrand 
 
 * The ' Frischka ' is the quick, lively second movement that follows the slow 
 movement, or ' Lassan,' in the Hungarian gipsy music.
 
 AUSTRIA. 155 
 
 family, and therefore knowing me already by hearsay from Stuttgart), 
 will help me to get this room : I shall devote a portion (a third) of the 
 net proceeds to a female institution founded by ladies of the aristocracy 
 here. 
 
 The concert will be announced beforehand for Wednesday noon, or 
 else half-past four. ... I think I shall then give a portion of the 
 receipts of the fourth concert to a national institution, the Conservatoire 
 here. Well, I will not anticipate too far beforehand. 
 
 Today I dine with Dr. Hunyadi, and tomorrow with the violinist 
 Ridley-Kohne. In the evenings we (a few young people) generally go 
 and hear the gipsies, and it amuses me as much as it teaches me. 
 Occasionally I go to the circus or a summer theatre, and not merely for 
 opera, but also to hear plays. I then take a translation with me, and 
 delight myself in the innate nobility of the people, and the way they 
 seem to be no mere actors; or else I go to hear the lady pianists here, 
 or go to Dr. Ungar, or Hunyadi, etc. 
 
 I get up at 6 o'clock in the morning, if not at 5, practise and write ; 
 at night I don't go to bed later than 11 or 12 o'clock. The climate is 
 as healthy as the Vienna one is ruinous. I have felt well since the first 
 moment I got here. The city is not merely beautiful, but enchanting in 
 the highest degree : the hilly portion, Of en, is joined to Pest by a grand 
 chain-bridge over the majestic river, and, from the fortress there, one has 
 an entrancing view at sunset of the palaces at Pest, and its immense 
 squares and broad streets. This place is the comfort of youth, just as 
 Vienna is the convenient place for old age. Here I should like to stay, 
 and I could do so. Pest is a point won for me. If everything else 
 failed, and I liked to establish myself here as a pianist, or thought of 
 becoming Intendant of the National Theatre, you might congratulate 
 yourself as much as if you had brought a daughter happily to a husband. 
 
 Yesterday I met Tbros Janos, the editor of the Pesti Naplo ; he 
 came up to me, pressed both my hands very effusively, and assured me 
 that I was a second Liszt. 
 
 Thus much is certain, that next winter I am to come here again, at 
 the most favourable time, when all the aristocracy is still here, and then 
 I shall be able to make money, whereas now it is too late. It is to be 
 hoped that I shall make up a part of my expenses here, for I am terribly 
 in want of money. 
 
 I pay 1 gulden 24 kreutzer a day for my room, which is, compara- 
 tively speaking, not too dear ; the room is a large one ; the piano I have 
 for nothing, a good grand by Tomaschek. At the concerts I play on a 
 Streicher. 
 
 Now don't expect any more long letters from me, if things go well,
 
 156 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 but little notes frequently. I received your letter sent on from Vienna 
 directly after my arrival here ; I cannot answer it, as I have no time just 
 now to read it through again. 
 
 If only living were not so dear, and people did not cheat me so ! I 
 hope you are well, and that you are pleased with me and about me. 
 Enfin / 
 
 Farewell for today ; I kiss your hand, and am, 
 
 Your grateful and loving son, 
 
 BULOW J^NOS GUIDO. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 Le revers de la medaille. 
 
 PEST, 15th June [1853]. 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 My triumphant eight-page letter, which was somewhat very 
 Ue en herbe* was finished long before the receipt of your last, but I did 
 not want to send it off until I could add a consoling word about the rest 
 of the episode of my first, and possibly also my last, virtuoso wanderings 
 in Pest. 
 
 20th June. 
 
 The hopes I then formed have not been realised. I am more than 
 ever disheartened, not with regard to my talent and its ultimate worth 
 in the eyes of intelligent people musicians as well as the papers always 
 speak of me in tones of the highest esteem but with regard to my 
 outward success, and the chances of my ever being able to make an 
 independent position for myself by my profession, or even to keep 
 myself. So that this prospect makes me really disgusted with life. 
 Such special, constant ill-luck follows me, hanging over me like a curs<% 
 that I must allow that the utmost exertion of my powers will never 
 bring me to the result which a hundred-times less talented blagueur 
 and charlatan attains by his playing. 
 
 I have vainly tried as yet to write to Liszt in a calm manner, for at 
 the end of this miserable journey I have earned nothing but the most 
 bitter experience, too late to be salutary, the knowledge that I am 
 too good, too honest, to be a Virtuoso; and this the wife of the Postal 
 Secretary at Weimar also thought. 
 
 It is most odious to me to have to go back to what is past but 
 
 * Premature.
 
 AUSTRIA. 157 
 
 I must and will tell you all about it, so that you may not misunderstand 
 me, or imagine all sorts of indefinite things. 
 
 I have again had real bad luck with Liszt's introductions. The 
 Intendant of the Hungarian theatre has not once shown me the 
 commonest civilities. 
 
 He further sent me word that I could play in the theatre immediately 
 on my arrival : instead of keeping his word he lets me wait twelve days, 
 incurring all sorts of unnecessary expenses at a dear hotel, where I am 
 stuck fast. 
 
 After my first extraordinary success, which ought to have been taken 
 advantage of at once he could have done it, it would have been the 
 making of me he refuses me the theatre, and says I cannot play again 
 before the 13th June, on account of repertoire and other trumpery excuses. 
 The press speaks enthusiastically of me, but the public does not believe in 
 my success, because I don't give a second concert. I must now make up 
 my mind to announce a private concert. . . . No room to be had for it. 
 All the large places were burnt down in the Revolution ; there was no 
 choice for me but the room of a Merchant Company of the Pester Lloyd, 
 who have often lent it for similar purposes. Although I offered to play 
 for the benefit of the pension-fund of the Company, yet they refused me 
 the room perhaps and probably because I had played in the National 
 Theatre and not in the German one. But I was obliged to give a private 
 concert, and to let people hear pieces which I could not give in the theatre; 
 I therefore gave, or rather I bought, a concert in an unfavourable and 
 expensive room, the salon of the ' Hotel zum Tiger,' which had not been 
 used for concerts before that time. . . . The Magyar press, without excep- 
 tion, made an outcry against the inhospitality of the Lloyd people, and 
 took me up with the greatest warmth. It is impossible to tell you what 
 this arrangement cost me in time, trouble, expenditure of good temper 
 and energy in all these wretched little trifles. . . . Impossible to do every 
 individual thing one's self, and enormously expensive to get anyone else 
 to do them for one. I will never give a concert again without a valet 
 or a secretary, perhaps not even with one, or rather, certainly not. How 
 many hours I have been running about, how many disagreeables I have 
 encountered, to find, at the end of it all, that two singers who had pro- 
 mised to sing for me left me in the lurch ! Enough. ... I played, and 
 played Liszt's Lucrezia and Patineurs (and I played quite alone) with an 
 energy and bravura that astonished myself. Criticism was again most 
 favourable. And yet the National Theatre was not full on the 13th 
 June, and Festetics put on the programmes "utolso" (for the last time) 
 without asking me. I had the arrangement of the Caesar March played,
 
 158 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 which was liked, and I played the Beethoven E flat major Concerto for 
 the first time, but as though I had played it I don't know how many 
 times before, and I had a very grateful and attentive audience (rather 
 remarkable for a classical piece of music in a theatre !), and was inter- 
 rupted with tremendous applause in the Adagio (a thing which has very 
 seldom happened anywhere). On the other hand Liszt's Fantasia from 
 the Prophete did not please, on account of the great similarity of the 
 motif of the Hymn with a song that is not popular in Pest. Chopin's 
 Polonaise also fell flat, whereas a Hungarian Khapsody of Liszt's quite 
 excited them. 
 
 People advise me to give one more concert in the ' Hotel d'Europe,' 
 when the Chinese are gone. The expenses would be too great. The 
 " friends " of Liszt don't trouble themselves about me. What heaps of 
 people (and chatter) I have had to put up with, who call themselves 
 acquaintances of mine, and who worry me with their advice, their tales, 
 their self-adulation and pretensions, to the very utmost limits of a 
 restrained impatience ! And before me the prospect of undisguised 
 misery, the sense of the strongest need of help, the certainty that, sooner 
 or later, I must come to grief, I with my talent, intelligence, and 
 knowledge ! I feel a hell, a perfect hell, around me and within me. If 
 only a gleam of hope did not come now and then, convulsing me afresh 
 by its flicker if I could at last regard myself as dead and buried, and 
 let myself slowly die away, I know not how, offering a passive resistance 
 to fate of every kind ! But I accept, when an invitation comes which 
 lays upon me the duty giving pleasure to others by my playing. Dr. 
 Hunyadi asked me lately to play the Trio (dedicated to Liszt) by a 
 German named Volkmann. This I did, and enchanted the people. No 
 one had played the last movement with the passion and energy with 
 which I filled it (with Liszt's performance of it in my mind) ; the composer 
 was surprised at the effect of his own work ; people admired my playing, 
 the papers noticed it ; and yet all this does not bring me the least help, 
 but only fresh envy, slanderers wherever possible, enemies. What 
 would I not give to be in some little village, with some green before my 
 window, a piano in my room, some unwritten music-paper, a few not 
 ill-natured people and a faithful dog about me, and peace, and a respite 
 from these constant irritations ! 
 
 I have read part of Carus' " Symbolism of the human form." It is 
 capitally written, and he seems to be very clear on the subject. The 
 contents are firstrate and very practical. 
 
 Pest is marvellously beautiful, the neighbourhood is lovely, and I 
 must enjoy some more of it at all events if possible. 
 
 Farewell, I am talking rubbish and have sighed myself tired.
 
 AUSTKIA. 159 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 [PEST, July 1853.] 
 GROSSE BRUCKGASSE. 12. 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 It was not possible for me to thank you sooner for the 
 nobleness and touching goodness which you have once more shown me 
 by your comforting letter and the help in money which I so greatly 
 needed. What with the removal from the hotel, with all its little 
 attendant troubles, the hunting for a chambre introuvable, and all the 
 work I had to do in preparation for another debut at the National 
 Theatre, to say nothing of the fearful, tropical heat, and the continual 
 and violent recurrence of my headaches my poor overworked brain was 
 confused to such a degree that I was absolutely incapable of thinking or 
 writing. My debut took place yesterday, Monday, and was an even 
 more brilliant success than the previous one, but from a pecuniary point 
 the result was equally nil. I got your last letter just before the concert, 
 as I was dressing ! 
 
 Wednesday. 
 
 I was just going to sit down to my writing-table again, when Dr. 
 Hunyadi came, bringing me your letter to him, in which you begged for 
 tidings of me. I beg pardon a thousand times for being such an anxiety 
 to you. It grieves me to the heart that you have so little satisfaction in 
 me ! And, on one side, I make myself many reproaches and conscience- 
 pricks that I have cost you such a lot of money (for it is hard enough to 
 earn it), without any immediate prospect of being soon able to attain an 
 independent position ; whilst, on the other side, the consciousness of my 
 more than ordinary talent I can even say this, after the bitter experi- 
 ences and the great discouragement I have had gives me courage and 
 hope once more that I shall eventually be able to attain money and a 
 position. 
 
 Please don't mind if I jump about from one thing to another, and 
 write just as my dull, stupid brain dictates. 
 
 To begin with, my address is now Pest, Grosse Briick-Gasse No. 12 
 (3rd ^tage), c/o Herr Marastoni. He is an Italian, and is the founder 
 and head of a School of Painting, and his wife provides attendance and 
 looks after me, and in case I were ill I am certain of being well taken care 
 of by her. My room has only one window, but it is not a small room, 
 has a fair amount of light, and good furniture ; the window, a good big 
 one, looks into the courtyard ; the house is one of the finest in the inner
 
 160 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 town. The shady side of the picture is insects at night, and piano- 
 playing in the house the whole day, but, as I have plenty to do, and the 
 sun shines bright, and I think I shall again learn to live comfortably, I 
 have already done somewhat towards throwing off the evils of both day 
 and night. 
 
 Through your kindness, which enables me, after paying every debt, 
 to live on another fortnight free from care, and to become once more at 
 ease both in body and mind, I shall arrive at the point of writing to 
 Liszt again one of these days. He strongly advised me in his last letter 
 to reconnoitre and examine minutely every chance here, to see whether 
 this would suit as a permanent residence, and whether, after giving some 
 more concerts in Vienna at a more favourable time, I could establish 
 myself here next winter as a music teacher, and try at the same time to 
 obtain some post in the Hungarian or German Theatre. There is much 
 to be said for this idea, and I think that, if I should still be alive then, 
 and no favourable change had taken place in my life's destiny, it would 
 be the wisest thing for me to earn my living, and save something, by 
 spending a couple of years here, and travelling round about in the country 
 giving lessons, or otherwise working as hard as I could. 
 
 Baron Augusz, the vicegerent, has invited me to play after all in the 
 German Theatre. This the Government would like, because they regard 
 the theatre as one of the principal means of Germanizing the capital of 
 the country. 
 
 The Germans, represented by Lloyd, behaved badly to me at first. 
 On this point I shall, moreover, also have my revenge. Augusz, that is 
 to say, the highest civil authority, has only to give a hint to the society, 
 and they must lend me their room, in which I will then arrange an 
 invitation concert, and will play the Trio (dedicated to Liszt) by Volk- 
 mann the Saxon, who lives here, and who is a young composer of great 
 mark ; I will also play Beethoven and Bach ; in short, I intend to earn 
 a grand musical success. 
 
 I am jumping now from extreme to extreme, from the most calmly 
 inconsolable apathy to the most versatile schemes and all because I am 
 again in possession of a few gulden, and therefore of the possibility of 
 living without anxiety as to the wherewith. 
 
 How can I thank you for your love and kindness, and for your belief 
 in me and in my future as an artist, when I myself was near despairing 
 about it ! Have not papa and my sister received any letters from me in 
 the middle of last month 1 I cannot understand their silence. Tomorrow 
 I will send them news of me, to the address you have given me. As soon 
 as I know anything more definite about myself I will write to you at 
 once. If I receive, by Augusz' help, a suitable pecuniary offer from the
 
 AUSTRIA. 161 
 
 German Theatre-director, say about 100 gulden guaranteed, then I shall 
 play in any case. 
 
 Meanwhile I am thinking over the advice that has been given me, to 
 give concerts at some of the Hungarian Baths, or in other Hungarian 
 towns. If I do this, my piano playing shall be by no means a game of 
 hazard [a hazard playing]. 
 
 For Armgart [v. Arnim] I am writing six songs, entitled 'Die 
 Entsagende,' by Karl Beck. If only I had a publisher ! Possibly I 
 may also have an opportunity of publishing some pianoforte pieces here 
 (without any Opus number), without payment. 
 
 Perhaps, with all your love for me, it will do you good to see that I 
 am again so active and industriously disposed. As regards the piano I 
 assure you that you have no need to be ashamed of 
 
 Your very loving, grateful son.
 
 CARLSRUHE OTLISHAUSEN
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 CARLSRUHE OTLISH A USEN. 
 
 AUTUMN 1853. 
 
 WHILST Billow was writing cheerfully to his mother about his father (on 
 the 19th September 1853), the latter had already passed away from this mortal 
 life three days previously. The apoplectic seizure which he had had half a 
 year before was, in spite of the apparent gradual return of his physical powers, 
 a precursor of his coming death. 
 
 Eduard von Billow was spared a long illness, and on the 16th of September 
 he was called quietly and suddenly to his rest. He was taken away whilst 
 in the midst of a great work at which he was labouring indefatigably the 
 biographies of great men from all epochs of history. 
 
 A whole week elapsed before poor Hans, free from all sad presentiment, 
 learned the tidings of his irreparable loss ; as his family, not knowing where he 
 was at the moment, were unable to communicate with him. The overpowering 
 grief which seized him when the sad tidings reached him, shows that the son 
 realised the full depth of the loss that had come upon him. The next letter 
 was written while he was still unconscious of what had befallen him ; but 
 the ones immediately following show us Billow's utter despair. 
 
 TO EICHAKD POHL.* 
 
 CABLSRUHE, 20th September 1853. 
 DEAR FRIEND, 
 
 You are just now being regularly bombarded with letters 
 from Carlsruhe. Yesterday your friend W. Kalliwodat will have written 
 to you ; early this morning Liszt has been settled at his writing-desk for 
 
 * Richard Pohl (born 1826), a writer on music. Under the nom de plume 
 " Hoj)lit" he was a constant contributor to the Neue Zeitschrift fur Musik during 
 the fifties ; and he was one of the earliest partisans of the Wagner-cultus. 
 
 t Wilhehn Kalliwoda (born 1827), Kapellmeister in Carlsruhe.
 
 166 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 you, and this evening I take up the pen for the first time here, not to 
 give you any news, but simply to tell you how delighted I am that Liszt 
 will see his wish realised, of inviting your wife* and yourself to the 
 Musical Festival, and also to beg you to turn your back on Dresden and 
 your face to Carlsruhe as soon as possible. Your presence here will be 
 not so much " utilis " as " dulcis " in the highest degree. We shall have 
 to scratch the backs of the Carlsruhers a little, that is to say, in an 
 insinuating and Pohl-ish manner. The artists-without-art here, specific 
 musicians, are still rejoicing in such a paradisiacal simplicity, such an 
 utter immovability by the Ninth Symphony, Tannhauser, &c., that it is 
 high time that they should be instructed in this specific music by the 
 unspeciftc musicians. The only thing which Carlsruhe has set forth of 
 itself, but also the one, unique thing, is Gluck's Armida, which will be 
 given here on the 30th. Well, I fancy you will come a little sooner 
 than that. Yesterday we were in Baden. Lis/t has engaged Frau 
 Heinefetter for the arias, chosen by her, from ' Titus ' and the ' Prophete.' 
 Joachim will play his own Concerto and Bach's Chaconne. In case 
 your wife would like to know exactly what is allotted tocher harp, I can 
 tell you at once briefly, the Overture to ' Struensee,' the Bridal Song 
 from ' Lohengrin,' and a couple of numbers from Berlioz' ' Komeo and 
 Juliet.' 
 
 Kalliwoda and Will, the first violin, are likewise rejoicing at the 
 thought of your speedy arrival. With regard to the programme they 
 hold some prejudices, as somewhat exclusive devotees of a worn-out 
 Mendelssohnianism. As Liszt was away at Mannheim and Darmstadt, 
 they honoured me with their confidences on this point Kalliwoda, who 
 is a charming man, less than the other. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 CARLSRUHK, 25th September 1853. 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 I am quite inconsolable. Nothing could ever have affected 
 me more deeply ; never could a blow be harder than this, unexpected as 
 it was, indeed not even feared. 
 
 I was so infinitely happy in the prospect of travelling with Liszt in 
 
 * Johanna Eyth, afterwards Fran Pohl (1824-70), a celebrated harp-player ; was 
 engaged at Weimar, aud afterwards at Carisruhe,
 
 CARLSRUHE OTLISHAUSEN. 167 
 
 Switzerland after the musical festival, and of then visiting him who 
 can never know how truly and deeply I have loved him. So without 
 a farewell for ever ! His fatherly look, which since yesterday has 
 been constantly in my mind's eye dust ! 
 
 It is terrible. As yet I can scarcely realise it. So many hopes 
 shattered for ever ! That of your reconciliation, lost ; that of the inter- 
 course which I now first thought to begin with him, over ; I myself an 
 orphan, deprived henceforth of the father, whose happiness, would that 
 I could say together with yours, would have compensated me for my 
 past and probably future misfortunes ! 
 
 My father's love I recognise its immeasurable, unique value, just as 
 it is lost to me for ever. The sacred connexion between him and me 
 broken no father for me any more ! 
 
 No one in the whole world who from the depth of the heart so 
 determined to be, and was, "my best friend;" that he exists no more 
 for me, I, no more for him, I dead to him yes, that also is a death ! 
 
 It is terrible, and so quickly too, so entirely without warning ! 
 
 Could not Death have waited a year longer, and have given him and 
 me the joy of meeting after our long separation ! And even if this 
 happiness had ever after been associated with the pain of the last parting, 
 his last look thus engraved upon my heart would have remained with me 
 all the rest of my life. 
 
 Perhaps, also, he hardly thought about me with his former interest 
 he neither knew nor believed how truly, how heartily I loved him. All 
 complaint is useless, all hope vain. My decision cannot waver ; I must, 
 if possible, once more kiss the dear one, at any rate see the place 
 where he died, see his wife and children, who received his last smile, his 
 last word and look. 
 
 I learnt it yesterday afternoon from the Allgemeine Zeitung. Liszt 
 had received your letter the day before, and said nothing to me; had 
 taken it to Baden, where he stayed two days ; and only on his return 
 yesterday evening did your few lines give me the unanswerable sad con- 
 firmation of what I had hardly been able to believe from the printed 
 paper, so sudden and bewildering was the blow. 
 
 I hope to be at Otlishausen tomorrow, Tuesday, evening Liszt 
 expects me back here early on Saturday. I have promised him to play 
 one of his compositions on Wednesday, October 5th, and I will do it ; I 
 shall have recovered myself by that time. 
 
 How does Isidore bear it 1 May she soon find peace and resignation, 
 and not give way too much to her natural grief. We, the survivors, 
 have time to lament the dead ; we cannot all at once bear that which 
 breaks the heart bit by bit. Meanwhile farewell, dear mother ! I shall
 
 168 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 pray daily on ruy knees that you may be left to us, you who are our only 
 support and protection. Love us for him, as we would still love you for 
 him. 
 
 Your deeply-afflicted son, 
 
 HANS. 
 
 TO HIS SISTER. 
 
 OTLISHAUSEN, Sept. 28, 1853. 
 
 MY DEAR, BELOVED SlSTER, 
 
 I am too violently shaken, too painfully smitten, so 
 stupified, I might say, in mind and strength, that I am unable to answer 
 your beautiful letter (which I just received as I was leaving Carlsruhe) 
 as it deserves ; to give you, or rather to return to you, anything like 
 what you have given me. The tears which flowed down my cheeks as I 
 read your sad words had so relieved and strengthened me that I was 
 able to take the very fatiguing journey in my overwrought condition, 
 without injury to my health. 
 
 Your tender sisterly love will well imagine what my feelings here 
 must be ; how each of the countless memories of him whom I loved as 
 deeply though he doubted it as I honoured him, and how the picture 
 of our lost one, must awaken the most poignant grief at his absence. . . . 
 I should have been so glad to have you and Mamma here to be all 
 together would have been such a blessing to our hearts, as you cannot 
 now have at all, and I only in part. Louise, as well as our two little 
 brothers, of whom Willi, as often as he saw me give way to passionate 
 weeping, ascribed it to Papa's absence has helped me very much, not 
 out of the sorrow, but in the sorrow itself. The blossoming life of the 
 little ones, the sudden, painless death of our dear father, do not 
 accentuate that dark thought of death, that horror which may otherwise 
 mingle with the cry of despair at the visible removal of our dearest 
 from us. ... I did quite right indeed to come down here. ... I arrived 
 late yesterday evening, and early tomorrow I travel back, without stopping, 
 to Carlsruhe, where it is my duty to be, both on account of Liszt and 
 myself, and of my ever dear father, who lives henceforth for ever in my 
 heart. 
 
 He would really have had much happiness in me; I pictured to 
 myself our intercourse after the Carlsruhe festival as so delightful, so 
 soothing and enlivening for me for I was quite determined to surprise 
 him then by a pretty long visit. ... I should have told him minutely of
 
 CARLSRUHE OTLISHAUSEN. 169 
 
 all my joys and sorrows, small and great ; he would probably have listened 
 to me gladly and patiently ; I should have collected all the printed 
 signs and traces of my first artist-journey, which were of but little value 
 to me ; to please me he would have played the role of Virtuoso-Papa. 
 
 I have no sympathizer like him, for all my future life he alone 
 could be that, not merely as my father, but as a man and as a character, 
 as my truest, best, and (0 had he but known it) my dearest friend ! 
 
 Just as it has been good for me physically to make this tiring 
 journey, which at the same time somewhat distracted my thoughts, so 
 was it absolutely necessary to my heart to be near him once more in his 
 home and family ; to see his room ; I will not go on giving way to my 
 grief. 
 
 I have today arranged his books and completed the catalogue, ready 
 for Mamma, if she stays here with you for a few days on your return 
 journey, as I most earnestly beg of you both to do, with Louise, who 
 longs for you very much. She quite expects you both, according to 
 Mamma's promise. 
 
 If you believe of him that he now no longer sees through the dim 
 lenses of biassed mortal judgment, but with a pure, penetrating, direct 
 look into our hearts, you will feel constrained to come here, will go to 
 the altar of his room, and will bring to him and his wife the offering of 
 full and unreserved reconciliation. 
 
 In his Novalis, which, like his whole secretaire with everything on 
 and about it, remains just as he left it, a letter copied by Mamma is still 
 lying. He read Novalis much in the last part of his life, and often 
 made notes on it : there is no doubt he had Mamma's letter in his hand, 
 and, though the feelings of his heart were perhaps painfully mistaken, 
 there can be no doubt they were noble and pure. . . . Then, as I have 
 not been able to be with you here, do come quickly afterwards to me. 
 "Willi and I have become great friends. I hope he at any rate will be 
 attached to me he looks so like Papa. 
 
 If such a thing as personal consolation can be mentioned here, I 
 have it from these brothers whom I shall always love, and you will too, 
 don't you think so ? I have not yet been in the little chapel we are 
 going this evening. Louise and I are agreed about two things which 
 must be done whilst I have power to assert my own will : first, we must 
 put a wire fence round the chapel and its ground, and secondly, we must 
 insure the possession of the chapel by the eventual purchase of the 
 castle, a very advisable thing for Louise to do. 
 
 I think we ought also to get a lithograph done from the daguerreo- 
 type. I will take steps about it, as also for a proper announcement of 
 his death. I shall write about this the day after tomorrow to Gutzkow.
 
 170 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 I hope to keep well. I play in Carlsruhe on the 5th of October. 
 Liszt made me promise this before he let me go. 
 
 Perhaps I shall play elsewhere soon after, so as to earn a little 
 money. 
 
 God alone knows where I shall decide to make my home. All these 
 cares oppress me, and embitter even the quiet time of mourning, to which 
 I ought now to give myself up for my own good, since I can now never 
 look forward to the quiet happiness of living with my father as I hoped 
 to do. 
 
 Could I but know and see how you both are, weep with you, and, in 
 that mourning which we owe to the deceased, seek to find a serener 
 courage. 
 
 You can give me no greater pleasure than by letting me see you soon 
 in full fresh health. 
 
 Do not think it a want of tenderness if I write to you seldom. The 
 anxieties for myself and they are now pressingly severe leave me no 
 time to pour out my heart to you. I must first be or become something 
 myself ; then I can be something to both of you. 
 
 I shall still probably write to Mamma this evening, and post the letter 
 early tomorrow in Komanshorn, or perhaps not till Carlsruhe, for I 
 really have not much superfluous strength. 
 
 Joachim, whom I saw again after a long interval, Liszt and Pruckner, 
 who were with me at the first shock, have behaved most beautifully 
 to me. 
 
 There are such countless, boundless recollections that could make 
 my heart bleed afresh, that I must pilot the dark ship of this more 
 silent and sacred sorrow, with the foresight and careful thought which 
 befits it, through these dangerous rocks. 
 
 Farewell, dear sister : once more my heartfelt thanks for your 
 beautiful letter. Think lovingly of 
 
 Your deeply-stricken brother, 
 
 HANS. 
 
 TO JOACHIM RAFF. 
 
 ROMANSHORN, 29th September 1853. 
 MY DEAR FRIEND, 
 
 I have just left the house of my late father, the place of 
 his death, whither I had been summoned from Carlsruhe by an alarming 
 message as deeply painful as it was unexpected, and of which I had 
 no apprehension,
 
 CABLSRUHE OTLISHAUSEN. 171 
 
 It was a hard, a bitter stroke of fate, and I have as yet scarcely 
 succeeded in gaining that necessary composure and resignation which 
 enable one to bear deep grief. After a long separation I had most 
 ardently hoped to spend a few weeks in his company, as soon as the 
 musical festival came to an end ; to dedicate myself entirely to him, and 
 to enjoy together the benefit of renewed intimate and intellectual inter- 
 course, for myself especially necessary. "We had so much in common, 
 and had, partly by my fault, and to some extent again without any fault 
 of mine, become so much estranged. Relentless iron necessity has pre- 
 vented my seeing him again, and he had to depart without farewell, 
 without having given me his blessing. He died quite suddenly and 
 without pain at 8 o'clock on the morning of September 16th. A single 
 sigh betokened his instantaneous end, which no one had expected or 
 thought of. A malady of which he had taken little notice caused the 
 sudden stoppage of the heart, and brought death without any deforming 
 demolition, beautiful as a Grecian death. 
 
 I was so unfortunate as not to hear till a week had elapsed that I 
 was an orphan and fatherless. 
 
 It seems however a profanation to speak much of a grief full of such 
 sacred recollections. 
 
 Compassionate me, my dear friend. 
 
 I send you this sad news from Romanshorn, where I am waiting for 
 the steamboat to take me back to Carlsruhe, and, as I much hope, to 
 energetic ^activity : I am sending it from this place especially because I 
 think of you again most warmly here. I have so much the feeling that 
 we are both connected with this country and therefore countrymen. 
 Your birthplace is not far from the grave of my father. 
 
 And therefore I now also beg you to let a friendly fellowship again 
 exist between us, that former heartiness which it has pained me to^feel 
 gone. Not merely our artistic, but our social, interests and connections 
 have something in common. Forgive me where I may perhaps from 
 thoughtlessness, never from bad intention, have erred towards you. Be 
 my friend again as formerly : I am assuredly very grateful to you when 
 thinking of those earlier times. 
 
 As soon as I am once more master of my thoughts, and in condition 
 to send a few words worthy of your ' Fru'hlingsboten,' I will do so in 
 accordance with the wish you expressed to Liszt. 
 
 Farewell may fortune soon take the most gratifying and well- 
 deserved turn for you ! My hearty greetings to Klindworth. And many 
 thanks to you for the Psalm, which has shortened my journey and 
 cheered me much.
 
 172 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 CARLSRUHE, \Wi October 1853. 
 
 MY DEAR, BELOVED MOTHER, 
 
 Since Monday I have been expecting you here in 
 Carlsruhe, where I have received two letters addressed to you, which I 
 now forward, and one today at last giving an explanation of your non- 
 arrival, which made me anxious. 
 
 On Thursday we six young people (Joachim, Cornelius, Pruckner, etc.) 
 travelled with Liszt, the Princess Wittgenstein, Princess Marie and her 
 cousin Eugen Wittgenstein] to Basle, where Liszt had promised to meet 
 Wagner. You had written to me that you would come to Carlsruhe by 
 Basle and get there on Saturday. This was sufficient reason for me to 
 come and meet you both, and you had also commissioned me to address 
 your letters thither, Poste-Restante. We had two delightful days there. 
 Liszt drank to our brotherhood in Kirschwasser.* Saturday mid-day 
 we went to Strassburg, i.e. the Wittgensteins, Liszt, Wagner, Joachim 
 and I. The cathedral made such an elevating and uniquely imposing 
 impression on me that it even now makes me happy. From Strassburg 
 Joachim and I returned first to Baden-Baden, and the others went for 
 ten days to Paris. On Monday I came back here, and am stopping quite 
 alone and very melancholy at the inn, going off to the station to meet all 
 the arrivals ; for, as letters to you arrived here, I must conclude there 
 has been some slight delay, and that I might expect you any hour. 
 
 To begin at the end. As regards the plan of my journey (of which 
 more hereafter) I make no circuitous route, nor incur loss of time (which 
 means money) in going by way of Stuttgart, and shall therefore go there 
 tomorrow. Perhaps I may be able to induce Gall to let me play in the 
 theatre there, and so earn a small fee. 
 
 It is possible that I may also be able to play at the Court here ; but 
 I don't think so : Count Leiningen, Steward of the Household, on whom 
 I called early this morning, and who seems to take an interest in me, has 
 promised to call upon me again this afternoon. I played in the Court- 
 concert on Wednesday evening, as well as on the morning of the second 
 festival-concert, with the greatest success ; hence I think I shall hardly 
 have " to relight the stump of this cigar " (a saying of Berlioz). 
 
 In Stuttgart I shall be much nearer to you, with regard to the answer 
 for which I must beg immediately on receipt of this letter, and can then 
 indeed even see you both on your journey, if it is not put off too late. 
 Therefore please address ' Kbnig von Wiirtemberg,' Stuttgart. 
 
 * A liqueur.
 
 CAELSRUHE OTLISHAUSEN. 173 
 
 Liszt's plan for me is that I shall go to Paris at the beginning of next 
 year ; he will be back in Weimar on October 22. He thinks that the 
 worst is now over for me, and he can very easily prepare the way to a 
 position for me in Paris. But, as I said, all this has still to be talked 
 over. 
 
 Liszt's and my next plan for me is Dresden. I have promised to 
 play there at the beginning of November, in a concert which a member of 
 the Court band is going to give with the whole orchestra, a promise 
 which I shall certainly keep. Wagner has also given me a commission 
 for arrangements of Lohengrin and Tannhauser, and, by this work, which 
 must not be delayed, I am certain to earn something. W[agner's] and 
 Meser's disciples have now taken up Tannhauser, and 1 can make the 
 conditions, as it is now becoming a very lucrative affair. For this work 
 I must have quiet and a neutral ground. I shall have to make my debut 
 in Leipzig at the subscription-concert in November. Dresden suits me 
 very well, I was decidedly successful there ; I am indeed almost astonished 
 to read so much that is now written about me, and to see terms such as 
 " genial " used in connection with me, in newspapers like the Illustrirte 
 Zeitung. 
 
 Now what will you do ? Whatever I undertake will depend upon 
 that. I need money. Therefore be so good as to forgive me if I am 
 doing wrong in telling you of a proposition which has been made to me, 
 and to believe me when I solemnly declare that I could never think of 
 accepting it without asking and obtaining your sanction. 
 
 Madame Ritter with whom and with whose whole family Liszt is on 
 the most intimate footing invited me to make her house my home for a 
 while, as she heard that I was returning to Dresden to play at a concert. 
 Alexander R[itter] is now in Breslau as violinist, Carl R[itter] in Pillnitz, 
 just on the point of becoming a subject of Saxony, and engaged to be 
 married, so there really are, here also, tempi passati ; I could thus have 
 an excellent house, and grand piano, be undisturbed at my work, and in 
 case of necessity be nursed. 
 
 God forbid that I should wish to influence your decision, or even 
 think of calling in question your antipathy. But I was obliged to tell 
 you about it, because it would relieve you for the present of anxiety on 
 my behalf, which causes me, believe me, as much painful thought as it 
 does you. So forgive, and do not be vexed with me for this. 
 
 Now having told you of my next musical plans I beg for a speedy 
 reply to Stuttgart. I am as indifferent to it all as even my dead father 
 can be. I do not care to speak of him today in this business-letter. 
 
 I am in myself so weary and dead that I could not be of assistance to 
 you in any but mechanical work.
 
 174 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 It rejoices me more than I can say that you are all together in Otlis- 
 hausen, and thus honouring the dear father, whose death is a great and 
 very lasting shock to me. 
 
 Continue to love me, and forsake me not. Keep well, and Heaven 
 preserve you ! All this of course applies to Isidore also. 
 
 Your loving son, 
 
 HANS. 
 
 Joachim can perhaps get me appointed Court-pianist in Hanover. 
 Salary 200 reichsthaler for the half year ; but I shall be able to give 
 many lessons as well. Ah, mon Dieu I 
 
 TO FRANZ LISZT. 
 
 DRESDEN, 5th November 1853. 
 
 MY VERY DE-AR AND ILLUSTRIOUS MASTER, 
 
 How much I have to thank you for the long and beautiful 
 letter with which you have so soon condescended to refresh my mind and 
 heart ! I hastened at once to do the commissions which you gave me, 
 so that I might be able to answer you without delay, and thus to begin 
 to obliterate the very bad opinion which I led you to form of my 
 qualities as a correspondent last winter. 
 
 I feel in reality terribly unhappy and vexed that I have not been 
 able to justify, rather better, your confidence in the Berlioz affair. 
 
 Madame de Luttichau is at this moment so unwell that she has been 
 obliged to keep her bed for several days, and for some time to come she 
 will not be fit to see me, nor even my mother. As, moreover, I knew 
 by numerous experiences that her influence on Mr. de Liittichau does not 
 go beyond the matrimonial relations, I went bravely to His Excellency, 
 with the very natural pretext of paying my respects to him. In the 
 course of our conversation I touched upon the chapter of Berlioz, by 
 remarking, as though the observation came from you, what an advantage 
 it would be to profit by Berlioz' momentary stay in Germany, by engaging 
 him for a concert in Dresden, which could not fail to arouse immense 
 and universal interest, in view of the remarkable " trimming " in the 
 opinions of the German artists on Berlioz, and his recent brilliant 
 triumphs at Brunswick and Hanover. His Excellency's reply was, first 
 of all, evasive, and then entirely negative : 
 
 " A concert in the theatre is now quite impossible. It could not be 
 arranged, because every day now is a subscribers' day, and they will have
 
 CARLSRUHE OTLISHAUSEN. 175 
 
 theatre and not concert. One must have regard to the public ; if the 
 public does not come, then the theatre cannot subsist." 
 
 Nevertheless, there would be no need to despair if the time were not 
 so short. It would also have been necessary to prepare for it by means 
 of the press, which I could have had at my disposal through my old 
 connection with the University. However, I will go once more to 
 Carus, who is reputed to have a supreme influence and a certain 
 ascendancy over the Intendant : I missed him yesterday. I will also go 
 and see Krebs, and shall put before him the enjoyment of the uneasiness 
 Keissiger would feel at the arrival of Berlioz. Krebs, moreover, gave 
 the Overture to the ' Francs-Juges ' last winter, at a concert in the 
 theatre. What would be still better would be for Berlioz to address 
 himself direct to Mr. de Liittichau, which, as you supposed, he has not 
 yet done. 
 
 Pohl will dedicate his pamphlet to the Count de Linanges. I have 
 advised him to change the form, from correspondence into memoir, which 
 would be more objective in fact and in appearance, and less journalistic. 
 As this alteration will not in the least delay the publication, he has 
 adopted it. One only doubt remains to him still whether he ought 
 not first to obtain the Count's permission to dedicate it to him. We 
 have been very glad, and no doubt you were also, to read at last Pohl's 
 anticriticism in the Augsburger of November 2nd. Such a rectifi- 
 cation in this widely-circulated paper was not only desirable, but 
 indispensable. 
 
 If Spina is not as negligent in replying to me as I am prompt in 
 writing to him, I hope to receive the precious score, which I am 
 impatiently awaiting, one of these next days. 
 
 I took to Hahnel the two copies of Czerny's ' Gradus ad Parnassum,' 
 not omitting to give him many kind messages from you and the Princess. 
 He was very much touched by your attention. The parcel of music 
 containing your compositions he received a long time ago. His daughter 
 is studying your transcription of the Beethoven Songs. He is going to 
 write to you very soon, and hopes to be able to accept your invitation to 
 Weimar in a fortnight, by which time he expects to have finished a 
 presentable Karl August (according to his own idea), a quality which he 
 persists in refusing to recognise in his first sketch. 
 
 Singer has written to me today. He has not yet received the slightest 
 sign of life from the Intendant of the Weimar theatre, and really does 
 not know what to do about his engagement there, which would make 
 him very happy. 
 
 Yesterday evening I had to listen to Chopin's Second Concerto, 
 materialised under the fingers of Fraulein Marie Wieck, who is going to
 
 176 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 play it at the next Gewandhaus concert. Papa Wieck, who has been 
 pretty amiable to me, and whose vanity still enjoys, in spite of himself, 
 the recollection of the evening you were good enough to spend with him 
 in Dresden, will shortly succumb to the jaundice, which he will not fail 
 to catch, on account of the Trio- and Duet-Soirees which Monsieur Jenny 
 Lind is arranging, together with Schubert and Kummer. 
 
 Karl Mayer is rushing about, madly in love with a young Russian 
 pianist, Mile, de Harder, a so-called pupil of Chopin, who is going to 
 play his ' Concerto Symphonique ' for the benefit of the poor. 
 
 I should be very happy if I had in my possession, as you seem to 
 imagine, the score of your ' Festgesang,' for then I could have satisfied 
 my longing to study it thoroughly, and to let myself be influenced, as 
 much as possible, by the elevation and grandeur of the musical ideas 
 and sentiments contained in it qualities which must forcibly touch any- 
 one who feels that there vibrates in himself an artistic string. Kitter, to 
 whom I have played some bits which I remembered for the whole of the 
 work is in my memory only was so delighted with it that his eyes were 
 moist with joy. He begs your permission to dedicate to this work a 
 ' Minoritatsgutachten ' (opinion of the minority) in Brendel's Gazette, to 
 which he will add an article on your Mass. This permission, which I 
 ask in his name, you can of course only grant by sending us the score. 
 Now I have just learned from you that you are vainly seeking, among 
 those who are most deeply interested in it, the score that we so much 
 want. Do you think you have lent it by chance to Cornelius ? None 
 of us, I assure you, would have ventured to borrow it from you " without 
 informing the proprietor." Possibly it is at Kalliwoda's, amongst the 
 other scores which have belonged to the Carlsruhe Institute since the 
 Festival. 
 
 One of these days I shall fulfil the promise I made you at Carlsruhe, 
 to write a few words on Kaff's ' Friihlingsboten.' I hope to satisfy the 
 composer, whose warm partisan I am as regards this work. 
 
 Mozart-Brahms, or Schumann-Brahms, does not in the least trouble 
 the peace of my sleep. It is about fifteen years since Schumann was 
 speaking in absolutely analogous terms of the " genius " of W. Sterndale 
 ' Benet.'* Moreover Joachim knows Brahms, as well as the un-German 
 Reme"nyi,t who would render me excessively happy if he would keep his 
 promise of coming to see us in Dresden, as he told my mother he would. 
 
 The latest numbers of the Signale bear pretty marked traces of my 
 indiscreet confidences to the editor. I had not anticipated that I should 
 
 * William Sterndale Bennett, the English composer (1816-1875) 
 t Remenyi, the violin virtuoso, born in Hungary 1830.
 
 CAKLSRUHE OTLISHAUSEN. 177 
 
 read an almost verbal reproduction of the piquant notices I had given 
 him. It is a good lesson for the future. 
 
 Please excuse, my dearest Master, the sans-fapon of this letter, which 
 I have written in haste. I hope soon to hear of you through Kitter, to 
 whom you were intending to write shortly. I reiterate my thanks for 
 your letter, and beg you to continue your precious and inestimable 
 friendship to your respectfully devoted and grateful pupil. 
 
 M
 
 NORTH GERMANY
 
 CHAPTEE IX. 
 NORTH GERMANY. 
 
 WINTER 1853 SPRING 1854. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 BERLIN, 4th December 1853. 
 
 BELOVED MOTHER, 
 
 Yesterday morning I felt in such a rage that I was over- 
 flowing with gall. Today I am in a more peaceful mood, for yesterday 
 evening I had a very warm reception and real success. I have shown 
 people once more what piano-playing means. My ear is still flattered by 
 the agreeable sound of a breathless suspense after my pianos. I 
 am contented with myself and also with the world. 
 
 Although I was intending to leave yesterday, yet now I have changed 
 my mind. Redern, who held forth pretty extensively about my Liszt 
 style of playing, and about the execution of Liszt's compositions, against 
 both of which he inveighed, has indeed promised to send me an in- 
 vitation, in the course of this winter, to play at a Court concert at 
 Dresden, but I don't really believe in it. 
 
 Herewith a programme of the concert. My choice was a carefully- 
 considered one, and justified itself in spite of the wretched playing of 
 "die Ganze" (the whole),* who may be compared with those before 
 whom one casts pearls. Singer's playing was wonderfully beautiful in 
 the Trio. 
 
 Bettina and Gisel are at Weimar. I hear from Leipzig that Liszt, 
 Raff, Cornelius, Laub, Klindworth and Pruckner were there on Thursday 
 for the Berlioz concert. It seems to have turned out well, in spite of 
 many opponents. Joachim sends best greetings to you. Moreover he 
 
 * A pun on the name of one of the performers, a Herr Ganz,
 
 182 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 does not write much. I have been often very sad here ; but, with my 
 passionate nature, my feelings are always running from one extreme to 
 the other. So, if Louise has written anything to you about my fit 
 of dejection, you must regard it only as a passing thing. Wagner's 
 disciples will be inquiring after me next in Dresden, in order to ask me 
 about Tannhauser arrangements, and to hear my conditions. If there- 
 fore anybody should make his appearance, please say that I shall be back 
 very soon. I have never found the theatre and that kind of thing so 
 uninteresting as it has been since I have been here. I go in for very 
 little amusement, and am delighted to think of soon being with you 
 again. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 BREMEN, 21st December 1853. 
 
 BELOVED MOTHER, 
 
 I can find very little time for writing, so I must be very 
 laconic, and therefore take only a half-sheet for my letter, so that I may 
 not be tempted to run on and on, as I so often do. What a lot of use- 
 less words already, as an introduction to the so-called telegram ! This 
 runs as follows : great success, satisfaction with myself and with the 
 public. ... I played the Concerto extremely satisfactorily ; the accom- 
 paniment was exceptionally excellent, and the whole thing went 
 with spirit and fire. No misfortune with the piano. After my two 
 pieces in the second part I was repeatedly called forward, and had 
 to play an extra piece, one of the 'Soirees de Vienne.' At the 
 present moment I have just breakfasted, and am playing with double 
 louis d'ors. 
 
 The concert-directors, very musical and cultivated people, merchants 
 and lawyers, have been extremely kind to me in every way, up to now, 
 taking me all round Bremen, where there are plenty of things worth 
 seeing. 
 
 I feel so glad to have played ' Louis van's ' * Concerto again once 
 more, and to have played it well for now I shall play it much better 
 the next time. 
 
 Liszt writes most kindly and affectionately in both his letters to me. 
 I submit to his advice and wishes, in spite of the opposition of my pride 
 that is to say, I am writing to David this very day with regard to 
 playing in Leipzig. As it must be so, I submit. 
 
 * His familiar name for Beethoven,
 
 NORTH GERMANY. 183 
 
 TO FRANZ LISZT. 
 
 HANOVER, 23rd December 1853. 
 MY VERY DEAR AND ILLUSTRIOUS MASTER, 
 
 Perhaps you would be kind enough to read through my 
 letter to David and see if you think it will do ? I hope that the score 
 and my arrangement of David's Overture will reach you at the same 
 time ; for you have already been so very good as to undertake to 
 present my respects to him. As it is you who advised me to write to 
 him, I did not for a moment fear to be wanting in dignity by following 
 your valued advice ; nevertheless it was not easy to me to write those 
 few lines. 
 
 I am very much obliged to you for the score of the 'Caprice 
 Turc'j but I have not yet received the orchestral parts. Would 
 you kindly tell me which Trio of Schumann it would be best for 
 me to play at Leipzig ? I have had Schubert's Fantasia sent to me at 
 Hanover, so that I may study it at my ease during my stay here, which 
 I shall prolong for about a fortnight more, as Joachim has engaged me 
 for the concert on the 7th January. If Killer's victim [Joachim] does 
 not arrive tomorrow I shall spend rather a dismal Christmas Day. On 
 my way to Bremen I stopped at Brunswick, where I saw Litolff. We 
 played the piece from ' Cellini ' together a quatre mains ; he presented 
 me with his third Trio (C minor) which has just come out, and in which 
 there is a good deal of lost labour and much of the " music of the past 
 and of the old romantic school." It seems that your compositions will 
 not be published so soon. You can well guess that I did not fail to go 
 and see Mesdemoiselles Spohr, whom I found most amiable, and with 
 whom I fell in love afresh in equal shares. The family is going to Paris 
 at the beginning of the New Year, because Mile. Rosalie requires a new 
 instrument, and thence to Brussels. If I find Hanover too tedious, I 
 shall perhaps go before New Year and spend a few days at Brunswick in 
 adoration of Mesdemoiselles Spohr. 
 
 I feel very jealous of the dignity of Reme"nyi. Would it not be 
 possible to tack the name of any decent beast onto my name 1 Or could 
 not you manage to grant me letters patent of " knight of the order of 
 St. Rappo," which would first have to be created ? I would assuredly 
 endeavour to render myself worthy of such an honour. 
 
 Please excuse the haste and disorder of these lines !
 
 184 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 HANOVER, 2tth December 1853. 
 
 BELOVED MOTHER, 
 
 I reached here a couple of hours ago, and, as the post 
 is quite near my hotel (' Rheinischer Hof,' where however I shan't stay, 
 as it is mesquiri), I have fetched your letter, and begin to answer you, 
 immediately after having written fully to Liszt to Leipzig, and enclosed 
 a note for David in spite of inward reluctance. There are a good many 
 things that might be said on this point; but on the whole it is 
 sufficient to think them. 
 
 I enjoyed myself very much in Bremen, and almost repent of having 
 left it today, as I am suffering from headache ; Joachim has not yet 
 returned from Cologne I hope he is coming this evening and I shall 
 have a melancholy Christmas Eve. Consequently I shall be just as 
 sorry as you that I cannot be with you. 
 
 From the post I went to a clothier's and bought myself a decent 
 black waistcoat, very dear, but practical and elegant (3 thalers, 16 
 groschen). This I then made my Christmas box to myself, that is, I 
 admired it when I got home. That reminds me that I owe most 
 grateful thanks for the silk handkerchiefs I found in my box. May 
 you be happier and feeling better than I ... this evening ! I shall 
 certainly go to bed early yet No, for at 10 o'clock I must go to the 
 station, which however is just opposite, to see after Joachim. "Warsaw 
 tempts me but little at this moment . . . and yet why not, if nothing 
 better turns up ? I have not yet written to Liszt about that. 
 
 So do not yet refuse it. One can certainly wait a little before 
 deciding. And yet, on one hand, it is really an execrably Polish or 
 Russian concern. 
 
 25th December. 
 
 From 8 o'clock till 10 I slept. I woke up just in time to go to the 
 station. When it was pretty nearly 11 o'clock came Joachim at last, the 
 train being very late. Our meeting was then a very happy and enjoy- 
 able one. Today we have been playing most of the day, and called on 
 Count Platen, who at first was rather formal, but afterwards became 
 very friendly. Luttichau has had me introduced to him verbally already 
 through Kapellmeister Fischer * of Hanover, who was lately in Dresden, 
 and was commissioned to look me up. Hanover is rather slow. A 
 
 Ludwig Fischer, 1816-77,
 
 NORTH GERMANY. 185 
 
 dead-alive sort of place ; in the road one sees nobody. We are having 
 it cold and no mistake, 6-8 degrees, but a healthy air. Today there is 
 no theatre, tomorrow is the ' Jungfrau von Orleans,' and the day after 
 tomorrow the ' Freischutz.' 
 
 So on the 7th January I shall play at the concert here ; probably 
 shortly before that I shall play at the Court, but just not in the old 
 year. Then on Tuesday or Wednesday I am going to Brunswick for a 
 couple of days, to see the Spohrs. When I return I shall stop with 
 Joachim. . . . Why have you not heard the Lind? Songs she does 
 sing well. The Bayer-Biirk warmly defended my Sontag article lately 
 in company ! 
 
 What is Isidore's publisher about ? Is there no answer yet ? 
 
 28th December. 
 
 Yesterday I went to see Herr von Grote, to whom Ernst introduced 
 me. It is quite possible that he will give himself some trouble on my 
 behalf. He is a colonel, whereas Platen is only a captain. We shall 
 see. I don't give way to sanguine hopes in this respect, as you know. I 
 have received what you sent me. I know not where any more letters 
 should come from now, when I won't answer any in the old year. 
 
 One thing which attracts me very much to Hanover is the splendid 
 grand pianos of Rittmiiller from Gbttingen Erard's mechanism. Liszt 
 himself had spoken much of them to me formerly. They are delight- 
 ful to play on. I practise four hours a day on one, as I am so 
 enchanted with their rich tone. Joachim finds it very slow here . . . 
 he does not know a soul, and longs to be off. It is indescribably dead- 
 alive here. He has plenty of time for himself ; that is one good thing. 
 
 The Berlin letter was from Truhn ; a very kind one. I would 
 rather be in Berlin now, or else in Dresden. Ditto Joachim, of course. 
 But we ennuyer ourselves in duet here ! 
 
 Yesterday we were at Marschner's ; such a comic, fat face, that I had 
 some difficulty to keep from laughing. Uncommonly amiable to me, 
 Joachim thinks. Towards Berlioz he has become quite l i"ustre' 
 [boorish]. 
 
 29th December. 
 
 Today I read in the hotel the Hamburger Correspondent, the chief 
 political paper of the north, 122 years old; and in it there was a most 
 famous critique of my Berlin success to employ a used-up word 
 very long, very striking for all the many readers of this paper in 
 Hanover, Bremen and all this neighbourhood. It pleased me especially
 
 186 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 that Volkmann was so highly praised, as also my services in having 
 played the Trio ; moreover I feel more and more that I was instinctively 
 right in hitting on this choice, from which all " well-meaning, practical " 
 people had dissuaded me. And, in regard to Volkmann, who lately 
 thanked me in the most touching manner, I now stand not censured by 
 Kellstab's trash and that is the best of all. 
 
 Joachim will introduce me, in a few days' time, to the Court 
 lady, Countess Bernstorff, who, according to his opinion, is the most 
 musical, most amiable, and most spirituelle of all the Court plants, 
 which I do not doubt. But . . . can Joachim do this ? I mean, is it 
 the correct thing for him to take me like that to an unmarried lady ? 
 I should be glad if you would tell me this quickly. 
 
 At New Year I have some letters to write ; to Liszt ; and to Kaff, to 
 whom I owe an answer to three letters. Early this morning I have 
 been playing with Joachim to a few old ladies. He thinks I am very 
 much improved. 
 
 Now I want to send off my letter quickly, so that you may hear from 
 me on New Year's Day, and not begin 1854 first thing with any kind of 
 anxiety about me, who have given you so much occasion for sorrow, and 
 also, at the same time, for proving your unbounded motherly love ! 
 Believe me that I discern it, not with a mere look of intelligent gratitude, 
 but with a heart full to overflowing, a thing which seldom happens, and 
 then in secret ; and that the happiest day of my life will be when you feel 
 you can own to yourself that you have not wasted your love on an un- 
 worthy object. What I used to write in my lessons at school as a child 
 New Year's wishes to parents (0 my God) this I feel today more strongly 
 than ever in my inmost heart. No need for me to tell you what I 
 wish for you ; I know that the greater part of your wishes for yourself 
 concern me ; may it be granted me soon to fulfil them to some degree. 
 The great seriousness of life has opened before me in the terrible year 
 that is leaving us. Grief for him has entered my very soul ; the feeling 
 of his death, and, together with that, the feeling of death in general, will 
 be ever present with me. I have matured, in carrying this feeling about 
 with me ; and if I do not let it appear, as others do, it is because it would 
 overcome me too overpoweringly. But I dedicate to his memory my best 
 moments. 
 
 May you, beloved mother, my nearest and dearest comforter, begin 
 the New Year well and happily, trusting in the future for me and for 
 thee! 
 
 I kiss your hand reverently, and am 
 
 Your loving son HANS, 
 
 whose heart belongs to you.
 
 NORTH GERMANY. 187 
 
 Thus closed for Billow this year of 1853, so rich in events that moulded 
 his character. It had brought forth more of importance than any year he 
 had yet lived through : his first artistic tour with the disillusion it brought ; 
 his first success in Berlin ; the death of his father, of Ludwig Tieck * and of 
 Theodor Uhlig. It required all the strength of his nature, all the energy of 
 his will, gradually to shake himself free from the paralysing pressure of these 
 events, and to set himself with renewed zeal to the work of life. 
 
 Writing to his mother from Hanover on the 6th January 1854, he says : 
 
 I have got to know Robert Schumann's young prophet Brahms pretty 
 well ; he has been here a couple of days and constantly with us. A very 
 loveable, candid nature, and something really of God's grace, in the best 
 sense, in his talent ! 
 
 From Dresden he writes, on the 5th February 1854, to Frau von Milde, 
 the celebrated singer in Weimar : 
 
 DEAR MADAME AND ARTISTE, 
 
 If it is not too late, and you have not quite lost your 
 interest in those old songs, the value of which consists in the name you 
 permitted me to inscribe in the dedication, I could almost bless fate for 
 giving me the opportunity, thanks to the unpardonable carelessness of 
 the publisher, of sending you my first work myself, together with these 
 few lines, f 
 
 I do not introduce my songs to you, according to the fashion of young 
 composers, in order to beg you to give them an unmerited honour 
 by your wonderful talent : I had the higher ambition of composing 
 them for your private music-room, and not for drawing-room audiences. 
 But if I should see you again some day, you would make me endlessly 
 happy in perfecting one or other of them, whichever one you prefer, by 
 your singing of it to me alone. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 HAMBURG, 13th February 1854. 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 I can only write, very briefly, the most necessary things 
 today. I have played and won that is the chief thing. My playing 
 of the E flat major Concerto by heart made a great impression. It went 
 
 * The old friend of Billow's father. 
 
 t ' Six poems by Heine and Sternau.' Set to music, for soprano or tenor voice, 
 with pianoforte accompaniment, and dedicated to Frau Rosalie von Milde, by Hans 
 von Billow. -Op. 1. (Leipzig, C. F. Kahnt, 1853.)
 
 188 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 well. The applause was not exactly very extensive, but was of a kind 
 that made them ask me to give another concert, a soiree of Chamber-music, 
 or else to play in the theatre. One of these two things I shall do. On 
 Wednesday I shall have an answer as to the possibility (that is, the 
 guaranteeing) of a Trio-Soiree, or something of the kind. I have just 
 written to Joachim to ask whether I could not play at Court in Hanover 
 at the present time, and of course I am waiting for his answer. I shall 
 not write to Brunswick till later that is to say, when something definite 
 is settled about what I have just mentioned ; in any case I shall ask for 
 my expenses of journey and stay there (reckoned at 8 louis d'or). 
 
 I am now so fearfully busy that I have not time to write at any length : 
 it is one constant ringing the changes between musical dejeuners, dinners 
 and suppers. When I first came I was very much cast down, and the 
 journey was a very fatal one, and much dearer than I had imagined, on 
 account of the night-express. Just this moment a lady pianist has been 
 here, who is going to give a concert in a fortnight, and who begged me to 
 give her some explanations and advice about one of Liszt's Ehapsodies, 
 which she is going to play ; directly after that came a composer, who 
 brought me some of his compositions for a present, and that is how one 
 is set on. 
 
 I will continue after this interruption. 
 
 My stay in Berlin was too transient for me to be able to call on the 
 Arnims, so I left Isidore's letter in great haste at Louise's. She was not 
 at home, but I kissed the sleeping children on the forehead. At first I 
 had great difficulty in getting a good instrument here one that suited 
 me in the touch. At last I was so fortunate as to meet, quite unex- 
 pectedly, with friend Speidel from Munich, who helped me. He had 
 been here some days, and would have liked to make his appearance here, 
 which I now unintentionally prevented. 
 
 The manner of our meeting was really most original. We met at the 
 door of the hotel, in which we were both living, on the way to the same 
 lady, to whom we both had letters of introduction. A splendid scene for 
 a comic opera ! 
 
 It was most welcome and pleasant to me to have found a companion 
 and colleague with whom I get on so well, and who is prolonging his 
 fruitless stay here on my account. 
 
 Life here is exceedingly jolly, and not so enormously dear as it was 
 said to be. Nothing to compare with Vienna. 
 
 And what a glorious city ! Really magnificent where I live it 
 looks quite Venetian ! And this delightful climate with the balmy sea- 
 air so that one is not freezing, in spite of the excessively piercing cold, 
 which has come back again.
 
 NORTH GERMANY. 189 
 
 As soon as I have finished this letter I must go to Altona, to call on 
 some of the musical authorities Marxen,* Bbie and others ; on the side 
 of the musicians I have been met with great esteem low be it spoken 
 and am treated as a " quelqu' un," not as a " quelque chose," which is good. 
 But unberufen, unberufen, unberufen ! [Low be it spoken.] Otherwise 
 the next thing will be, I shall have to eat my words, as it has always 
 happened before. 
 
 As I said, I cannot at once give you a definite answer, but must wait 
 for what I mentioned at the beginning of my letter. You will see from 
 this that I am trying to be not unpractical, but tolerably expeditious, 
 and also cautious in a negative sense, by not immediately rejecting any- 
 thing that might offer. 
 
 W.'s letter got me a free ticket for the (reserved) pit. It won't do 
 anything more for me, so set your mind at rest about that. 
 
 I have made the acquaintance of Kapellmeister Ignatz Lachner, 
 through Speidel, and we frequently see each other. 
 
 If you did but know how driven I am today ; to bed at half -past 
 twelve, up at seven, and innumerable, unavoidable calls already by 
 eleven o'clock. 
 
 I would send you back the money for my journey today with best 
 thanks, if I could get it changed into notes ; but the waiter has not got 
 them by him, and time fails. 
 
 Farewell, and be ever especially good to me. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 HAMBURG, 24th February 1854. 
 MOTTO : Unlerufen, unberufen, unberufen I 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 I must say my head is very bad, and I have some trouble in 
 recovering myself sufficiently to be able to give my concert this evening at 
 the theatre, and after that to rejoice a big musical salon with my presence 
 and my playing. But I have still a free moment, which allows me to 
 write a line to you. Yesterday I gave my musical matinee see pro- 
 gramme. It was brilliant ! All that Hamburg contains of the most 
 elegant and distinguished met there. My clear profits amounted to 
 about 20 louis d'or. I send you five herewith, as a reimbursement of a 
 small portion of all the money I have cost you for my pianistic travelling 
 expenses lately, and am paying, with another five, various debts. On the 
 1st March I must support Glasbrenner's concert as I have promised ; on 
 
 * Eduard Marxeu (1806-1887), the teacher of Johannes Brahms.
 
 190 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 the 6th is my soiree at Altona ; on the llth I have to play in Brunswick, 
 where Joachim has promised me his collaboration. It would be mad to 
 come back to Dresden just now ; I shall still have to be away a good fort- 
 night longer. These are my present plans ; it is possible that there may 
 be alterations, but, in that case, you shall hear from me at once. I did 
 not write sooner, because I wanted to be able to tell you the results of 
 my concert, and to give you good tidings. 
 
 What a constant alternation it has been for me of soirees, suppers, 
 dinners and dejeuners ; how I have been feted and made much of in the 
 salons it is impossible to write all this, or to reckon up all my acquaint- 
 ances. I am the darling of all the well-to-do, and also of the aristocratic 
 and best society ; they fight about me ; the musicians the artistic ones 
 like me very much, and will not hear of my going until I have promised 
 to come back in the autumn and arrange some soirees. With all this 
 there is so little social constraint ; in short, up to the present time it has 
 been perfectly delightful here, more so than ever before, or anywhere 
 else. Count Redern has sent me a letter to his brother-in-law other- 
 wise nothing has been said with regard to the Court concert which I 
 have not yet been able to deliver. 
 
 I am playing a great deal because I must ; I must have my whole 
 repertoire in my head, and be always ready to play any favourite Trio 
 of Beethoven, Mendelssohn, etc., at sight. 
 
 If only things will last for a while, and go on as well as they are 
 doing now ! 
 
 How are you ? And how is Isidore ? Write soon : I myself really 
 have not time. 
 
 Meanwhile farewell. 
 
 Your loving son 
 
 HANS v. B. 
 
 Best love to Isa of course. What has Max Duncker replied ? 
 
 The Press praises me with fabulous respect. I am quoted as an 
 authority ; " Master," " full of talent," these are now quite trite 
 expressions. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 HAMBURG, 7th March 1854. 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 I am so glad you have written to me, that is, that I 
 have got a letter from you this morning, for I was intending to write to
 
 NOKTH GERMANY. 191 
 
 you as soon as I was up, even if it were a disjointed letter, which is all I 
 can manage nowadays. I am dreading Dresden after your description. 
 Yet I must not stay here very much longer now, where I have been so 
 happy. For many reasons I must leave. In the first place Lacomhe (a 
 really firstrate pianist and musician and a delightful man) is giving 
 concerts here, and, before he has finished, will follow the Clauss,* who 
 has been engaged by an entrepreneur here to give four concerts in eight 
 days. Fraulein Wilhelmine was at my concert at Altona yesterday even- 
 ing, of which Bb'ie had undertaken the arrangement in his (beloved and 
 well-known) name. It was very pleasant. The results are destined to 
 buy me a new pair of patent leather boots, a hat and an overcoat, and also 
 to fulfil Isa's desire of a novel. In spite of the fatiguing night-journey 
 from Berlin here, she (the Clauss) remained till the end, and was very 
 complimentary to me at the conclusion. She is not pretty for the rest 
 I am curious to hear her play, and shall call on her today. She is a 
 great favourite here from previous visits. . . . This evening there is a 
 party at Schuberth's, the brother who represents here the business of the 
 well-known music-firm, the head of which now lives in New York. Fritz 
 S[chuberth] has been, up to the present time, most agreeable to me, and I 
 am the same to him. Tomorrow is Quartet-soiree in Altona (which is 
 only divided from Hamburg by a narrow trench which one can jump 
 across). After an hour at the opera I must go on to this. Thursday 
 early is Lacombe's matinee, in the evening is the Clauss concert, from 
 which I must hurry on to a monster-soiree to Hamburg's monarch, 
 Senator Jenisch. On Friday I won't travel ; consequently I shall leave 
 on Saturday, going direct to Brunswick, where I give my concert in the 
 theatre on Tuesday the 14th. 
 
 Then possibly to Berlin, but more probably (as far as I know at 
 present) back to Dresden. So please address the next letters, poste 
 restante, Brunswick, or to the ' Deutsches Haus.' Kiel I have given up. 
 
 I read in the papers that Livia had been singing in public concerts 
 in Wiesbaden with great success, especially in songs of Mendelssohn. 
 
 Would you send me three copies of Rigoletto to Brunswick ? 
 
 After the concert we went yesterday to a Madame Peterson in Altona, 
 a very cultivated amateur and pleasant woman. 
 
 Life here has been very bearable : of course there was no lack of 
 small miseries, partly of my own making. 
 
 A dilemma does one good occasionally, and is wholesome at my age ; 
 and emptiness of mind is certainly not so sovereign in the circles I 
 frequent here, as elsewhere. 
 
 * Willielmine Clauss (1834), a pianist, afterwards married to the writer Szarvady.
 
 192 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 The news from Weimar would have affected me more, had 1 not 
 become blase of ill news by the much sadder tidings which I heard a few 
 days ago, and which have shaken me terribly the tragic end of 
 Schumann. He threw himself into the Rhine a week ago in a fit of 
 mental derangement (he had latterly been constantly seeing apparitions) ; 
 he was rescued by some boatmen, but has since then been placed in an 
 asylum at Bonn, for he is quite out of his mind. Joachim is quite incon- 
 solable, and has gone at once with Brahms to Diisseldorf to see the poor 
 wife. I had so rejoiced at the thought of approaching this rare and noble 
 artist-mind, a pleasure which Joachim had lately assiduously endeavoured 
 to bring about, so that, through his mediation, Robert Schumann had 
 asked me to go and see him when I had an opportunity. Life has again 
 lost something for me. Of course Joachim cannot think of playing in 
 public just now, or of coming to Brunswick on my account. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 BRUNSWICK, lith March 1854 : 10 P.M. 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 So it seems, after all, you have not received my last 
 letter from Hamburg (with an enclosure for Thode) ? I begged you in it 
 to send me an answer quickly, so that I might find a few lines awaiting 
 me here. I have been waiting for them in vain since the day before 
 yesterday, so that, in the first place, I don't know what to do. I left 
 Hamburg on Saturday the llth, and look back on the time I spent there 
 with the most unclouded happiness. I remained about 24 hours in 
 Hanover, where I had a very pleasant time with Joachim and Klind- 
 worth, and heard a very good Quartet at the house of the former. 
 
 Here, on the contrary, it is perfectly horrid. 
 
 My concert in the theatre is just over. The best singers were hoarse, 
 and the interest was centred in myself alone. The room was pretty 
 empty ; the audience pretty cold, except in the Beethoven Concerto ; 
 and, to be brief, I am very much dissatisfied. Before all else I want 
 now to know whether I can stay in Dresden : my room is given up, so 
 where shall I go? At present I don't feel much inclined for Berlin. 
 There I should have to submit to be cheated at the hotel, and I don't 
 exactly feel disposed for that. 
 
 They let me give my concert here at a very unfavourable moment. 
 The impending arrival of Pepita,* who has not yet been seen here, was 
 
 * A dancer.
 
 NORTH GERMANY. 193 
 
 advertised a few days ago, and has aroused the local curiosity to the 
 highest pitch, so that nothing else is talked of. It seemed as if every- 
 thing had conspired against me here. The piano was very bad. Eitt- 
 miiller had promised me a splendid one of his own ; he came with me 
 himself from Hanover, and we both waited in vain for the promised 
 piano from Gottingen ; now it has arrived a couple of hours before 
 the concert, consequently too late ! The Duke, also, is absent, travelling. 
 
 Yesterday I had an awfully slow time at Herr v. Y.'s, with three 
 other lieutenants and the tenor S. I had to accompany his musical blue- 
 stocking of a wife in a couple of dozen songs. She is rather Austrian, 
 but somewhat more passable than her husband. By tomorrow evening I 
 hope to have received a letter from you, and to be able to start for 
 Dresden. If not, I shall go to Hanover, in spite of Ida Spohr's kindness, 
 to stay a couple of days with Joachim. In Hanover at any rate one 
 feeds a little better than here : here it is bad beyond all description. 
 Wretched tea, wretched coffee, wretched dinner, no porter, no Chester 
 [sic] cheese everything miserable ; when one comes from Hamburg it is 
 enough to drive one to suicide. 
 
 Now I observe for the first time how well I was, physically, in 
 Hamburg, rny digestion especially. I could become sentimental in 
 thinking of it ! A healthy material life means a great deal : long live 
 materialism ! 
 
 Rosalie Spohr is just now giving concerts in Holland. Of course I 
 often go to see Ida ; she is very amiable. But that " does not go far," as 
 the post-office wittily wrote on my Berlin friend Kolb's letter. I have 
 got immensely spoiled by Hamburg. Next Thursday I ought to have 
 dined with Jenisch, but how ! I am not joking when I assure you that 
 the tears are in my eyes. . . . Such a Hamburg luncheon ! Long live 
 Krebs ! Down with Hoplit ! 
 
 Next Saturday or Sunday a parcel from Hamburg will arrive for me 
 in Dresden. Amongst other things it contains some excellent tea for 
 you, so please open it. There will be a letter for Schuberth in the 
 parcel. I hope I shall soon get a letter from you. 
 
 Adieu ; I am sleepy, and very, very sulky. Farewell. 
 
 Compassionate me !
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWIGE BERLIN. 
 
 SPRING 1854 WINTER 1855. 
 
 TO FRANZ LISZT. 
 
 DRESDEN, 30th April 1854. 
 
 DOHNAISCHE STRASSE 3/II. 
 
 MY VERY DEAR AND ILLUSTRIOUS MASTER, 
 
 As I like to push my conscience, as your pupil, beyond 
 purely musical limits, and as I know your aversion to useless conversa- 
 tions an aversion which I share I have not ventured to trouble you 
 with a correspondence which would have deserved to be placed in that 
 category, since my last letter, in which I discharged myself of some little 
 commissions I had done for you. 
 
 My "faits et gestes" in Hamburg etc., as you are pleased kindly to 
 designate my recent poor attempts as a pianist of the third order 
 attempts which have perhaps been a little happier than those of my late 
 debut in Vienna last year seemed to me, on my return to Dresden, so 
 paltry and still-born, that I thought it would be childish and inexcusable, 
 and therefore impossible, to resuscitate them by a posthumous account of 
 them which would have made you smile. 
 
 I should doubtless have ventured to write to you about myself, if I 
 had had anything serious to tell you, such as the results of Berlioz' 
 concerts at Dresden, and I should certainly not have delayed replying to 
 your very kind letter, for which please receive my warmest thanks, if I 
 had not thought it essential to wait till after the third concert, which 
 took place last night, and which promised to be the decisive one. 
 
 Well, it is a very happy moment for me to be able to give you the 
 best possible news of an event which you cannot have more at heart than 
 I, who have felt my enthusiasm for Berlioz increase at each concert. 
 Last night's concert was one of the most brilliant triumphs that Berlioz.
 
 198 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 has celebrated in Germany. A full room, overflowing with all that there 
 is of the most choice, of the most " aesthetically " elegant in Dresden, 
 received the composer with the utmost warmth on his entrance. The 
 audience underlined every piece on the programme by their repeated 
 applause, by rinforzandos unheard in Dresden since Wagner's flight ; 
 they encored the third number of the mystic mystery, and clapped with 
 frenzy when a laurel-wreath was thrown from one of the boxes in the 
 second circle, and fell at the composer's feet. In spite of their fatigue, 
 the orchestra surpassed themselves in their performance of the last piece 
 on the programme, the Overture to 'Cellini.' An ovation, quietly 
 prepared by the younger generation in the orchestra, terminated this 
 memorable evening in the midst of the wildest applause of the audience. 
 (Reissiger and even Lipinski had opposed this in the morning ; for the 
 rest Reissiger has behaved very well in regard to Berlioz, but his 
 enthusiasm freezes when it reaches envy-point.) Mr. de Liittichau 
 immediately begged the artist to favour them with a repetition of the 
 " last " concert, and it will take place tomorrow, Monday. Thus, four 
 concerts instead of two ; and the almost certain prospect of the per- 
 formance of ' Cellini,' to which the playing of the two Overtures to the 
 opera will have contributed not a little. The perfidious criticism of Mr. 
 Banck has disturbed the revival of ' Faust.' At the second concert 
 there was not a large audience, but it must be added that those who 
 were there belonged to the elite of the public from the musical point of 
 view, and that they showed themselves very demonstrative. The 
 remarkable crescendo in the numbers of the audience, which gave the 
 lie yesterday in so brilliant a manner to the " press," would have been 
 evident at the renewal of ' Faust,' had it not been for those villainous 
 insects, the critics. The whole orchestra and the singers are plunged 
 head over ears in enthusiasm. They are happy at being able to estimate 
 at their just value their own talents and capacities, by means of this 
 incomparable conductor, who makes them feel the disgrace and sterility 
 of the five or six last years ; and they all, beginning with Mr. de 
 Liittichau, who is beaming up to a point of which I should never have 
 deemed him capable, would like to keep Berlioz at Dresden as their con- 
 ductor. One may be satisfied with everybody, and the best feelings reign 
 everywhere. After the first rehearsal Mr. Berlioz had destroyed every 
 germ of opposition, converted the most refractory, and God only knows 
 how many of these there were ! In short, your predictions, when you 
 were in Dresden last year, might very well soon come to pass. Mr. de 
 Liittichau has already come forward with more than hints to Mr. Berlioz ; 
 he has asked him, amongst other things, to get up Gluck's ' Orpheus ' 
 and to conduct it, Mr. de L. intending to stage it next season. To Mr,
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 199 
 
 Berlioz' remark that there was not a spare place in Dresden, all being 
 very well filled, he replied in these pretty clear words : " Who knows ! " 
 
 Just fancy ! a week ago Krebs, at the Catholic Church, bitterly 
 reproached and seriously reprimanded the orchestra for having played 
 so magnificently under the conducting of a " foreigner." What a public 
 humiliation for the local conductors, under whose direction the orchestra 
 had never succeeded in showing so much zeal and ardour ! This sounds 
 like a made-up story, and yet it is not so in the least. Krebs has the 
 instinctive feeling that something extraordinary is preparing, which 
 might very well turn against himself. In spite of this, he is so stupid 
 as to make an unequivocal opposition to the sincere and cordial admira- 
 tion which Reissiger has from the first moment shown, and continues to 
 show, for the works of Berlioz. The other day, at a dinner at Mr. de 
 Liittichau's at which I was present, Krebs shone in an unaccustomed 
 manner by his absence, accentuated by the presence of Keissiger, Fischer, 
 Lipinski, Schubert, Dawison, etc. At this dinner, given in honour of 
 Berlioz, the minister of Zeschau was also present. 
 
 Mr. Berlioz will probably write to you himself this morning and give 
 you his impressions, and tell you how far he is personally satisfied ; I 
 have therefore nothing to add to this chapter, reserving to myself always 
 to keep you au courant, if your hopes should receive a positive or 
 approximate affirmation. 
 
 I hope you have still a sufficiently good opinion of me, not to doubt 
 that, during Berlioz' stay in Dresden, I have done all I could to be of 
 service to this Master, whom I admire and revere with all my heart, 
 whilst remembering with gratitude the origin of this admiration. I have 
 not been able to do anything much ; for instance, I have only been able 
 to write one preparatory article in a paper, the editor of which did not 
 accept my offer of writing the critiques of the concerts gratis, for fear 
 of wounding the susceptibility of his regular critic. On the other hand, 
 I enrolled under the banner of Berlioz, without any ostentation, some 
 enthusiasts among the artists, and especially among those of the orchestra. 
 At a given moment it would perhaps be well to remind Mr. Berlioz that 
 the first and the warmest friends he has found in Dresden in tho 
 orchestra and the audience, belong to the Wagner party, and have long 
 belonged to it. The words I have just written useless perhaps have 
 suggested themselves to my mind by the remembrance of some of Mme. 
 Berlioz's chatter on the subject of Richard Wagner, which has irritated 
 me a good deal. But she is, on the whole, an excellent woman, with just 
 the failing of being rather a chatter-box, and of telling a lot of tales to 
 which it would be wrong to pay any attention.
 
 200 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 Bitter is enthusiastic about Berlioz. Although he is suffering from 
 the effects of an operation, he seconded me at the first performance of 
 ' Faust,' by taking a box with me for sixteen people, to which we invited 
 our friends and acquaintances, all the best people there are, such as 
 Blassmann, Hahnel, etc. 
 
 A thousand thanks for the score of the ' Kunstler ' chorus ; I have 
 had to get gradually accustomed to the rhythmic alterations you have 
 thought well to introduce. The ' alternativa ' is, to me, the most sym- 
 pathetic part. It is sublime, and I had already felt it to be so at 
 Carlsruhe. 
 
 You are very good to think of me, and to wish to make known to me 
 your new compositions for the piano. As to the piece on ' Cellini,' I 
 played it at Brunswick. It was tantamount to a fiasco for me which 
 increased my pleasure all the more, a pleasure shared by Litolff, who was 
 present at the concert as audience. He has given me the corrected sheets 
 of your chef-d'ceuvre of a Scherzo, and I have already been studying it for 
 a long time. 
 
 I will send you very soon the article of Mme. la Princesse Wittgen- 
 stein, which I have translated for Brendel. As to the signature, I had 
 to invent one, as I was firmly convinced that you were not the author 
 of this polemic. 
 
 I present you my most humble excuses for the " flatness of W. J." It 
 is through my hands that the correspondence of Singer passed, and I had 
 the unjustifiable caprice of leaving in it my paw-mark. I will only add 
 that I acted in this bond fide; I remember that there was a time when 
 insinuations of that kind did not altogether displease you. But as it is 
 otherwise now, I am the first to retract, and I will beware of a repetition 
 of the offence, all the more as I am sick of the pen of criticism. I will 
 leave to Hoplit the care of making himself illustrious, and even of getting 
 himself canonised as " santo " and " chiaro " by this means. 
 
 The very sound of " Weimar" or " Leipzig" is enough to throw me 
 into a fever and a passion. Those wretched people go on everlastingly 
 persecuting and illtreating me ; I have sworn that I will pay them back 
 one day all I owe them with interest. I regret bitterly that I was so 
 weak towards David, who has known how to take advantage of it ! 
 These people now think they have a right to despise me as a man with- 
 out any character, on account of my " inconsistency." 
 
 I shall have great pleasure in being present at your rehearsal in 
 Leipzig. This little journey will also give me the opportunity of giving 
 my opinion to Doctor Ha'rtel, which I am resolved to do. 
 
 I am awaiting, at Dresden, the result of the steps I have taken, in 
 the hope of putting an end to my civilian uncertainties. I must, before
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 201 
 
 all else, have a passport en regie. I am very much afraid that my most 
 earnest wish to leave Germany and to bury myself at Warsaw, as a pianist 
 " in the service of " a Russian General and that as soon as possible will 
 now meet with rather serious obstacles, and that this project will prove 
 entirely abortive. 
 
 I have not yet got any decisive news, and that is why I have not 
 spoken to you about it before. 
 
 I would not cover myself with ridicule by sending you the pieces 
 of which you speak ; they were the merest trifles which found by chance 
 an imbecile of a publisher. But in case I should soon finish a musical 
 daguerreotype of my own (an orchestral work), I should venture to lay 
 it at once before you. 
 
 TO FRANZ LISZT. 
 
 DRESDEN, 6th May 1854. 
 
 MY VERY DEAR AND ILLUSTRIOUS MASTER, 
 
 At the present moment I am enjoying to the full the echo of the 
 intoxicating music of Berlioz, in which I have passed three weeks which 
 I should be very sorry to see erased from the programme of my life. Of 
 the barometer of my admiration and sympathy for the works of this 
 Master I am able to judge now that I have a perfect understanding of 
 them. I understand and appreciate his music in all the unity of its 
 individuality ; and the many flights of his genius, which had struck me 
 at first, do not shine any longer in the darkness, for that is dissipated. 
 
 You do not yet know the two last parts of ' Faust.' Ah ! how I envy 
 you ! The fourth part especially is magnificent in imagination, sublime 
 in originality. 
 
 I have promised Mr. Berlioz to arrange the first Overture to his 
 1 Cellini ' for the piano a quatre mains, so that it may be incorporated in 
 the piano score to be published, like the operas of Spohr, for example ; 
 as I have time just now, I should like to set to the work without delay. 
 But where should I get the score, unless you would have the great kind- 
 ness to lend me yours for a fortnight at most 1 
 
 If a publisher could be found, I would write a pamphlet on ' Cellini,' 
 as a preparation for the opera at Dresden. If you know of one, and if 
 you invite me to do it, I am ready to do so. Of course it is understood 
 that I shall not expect payment for it. Mr. Berlioz has had much pleasure 
 from my translating of the article I enclose herewith from a Dresden 
 paper, which does great honour to the spirit of its author. It is at his 
 instance that I send it to you.
 
 202 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 And, writing again to Liszt from Dresden, on the 29th June, he says : 
 
 My future is now certain for a pretty long time to come. When you 
 know how, you will not think I have been over-dazzled or enchanted ; 
 but, since it is settled, I am less uneasy, and I am not suffering too much 
 from frustrated ambition. I have just accepted an engagement which has 
 been offered me by a rich Polish Count Mycielski who will take me 
 off with him towards the beginning of September, to be music-master to 
 his three or four prodigies of daughters, at his country seat which is 
 situated between Posen and Breslau. I shall have four hundred crowns 
 a year, and of course my living, and all that is necessary to enable me to 
 fulfil my daily task, which is, to give three or four lessons a day, and to 
 amuse the people in the evening with my playing. As the family is 
 living in Dresden at the present moment I have already begun to work 
 a few weeks ago, by giving lessons. I shall have plenty of time, when I 
 am there, to work by myself just as I like ; to compose Trios, Sym- 
 phonies, etc. a la Eubinstein, with or without inspiration ; and I shall 
 also have the advantage of forgetting and ignoring everything in the 
 musical or unmusical world which might vex me or irritate my nerves, 
 and also of strengthening my health by a stay in the country, whilst 
 strengthening at the same time my apathy and my disgust at a good many 
 things a kind of well-being which I have begun to enjoy lately, and 
 which would not even be disturbed by the otherwise agreeable news of 
 the downfall of one of my betes noires. 
 
 Please excuse the unrestrainedness of these intellectual rambles, which 
 you have so often tolerated with indulgence in my epistolary conversation. 
 And now let us speak of other things than the internal and external 
 tribulations of my more or less defective career. I am not in the least 
 neglecting the piano ; I am studying Bach's Preludes and Fugues, your 
 'Etudes d'apres Paganini,' and Beethoven's 33 Variations, Op. 120, for 
 which I have a most tremendous weakness. I am just in the midst of 
 a Fantasia for orchestra (in B minor), in the style of my friend Kaff ; 
 I have just re-instrumentated and entirely corrected the Overture to 
 ' Caesar ' ; and I am making successive transcriptions from ' Tannhauser ' 
 for four hands, which are slow in coming out. 
 
 Wagner is so good as to give me news of himself from time to time. 
 He has promised to send me his first opera of the ' Nibelungen/ as soon 
 as he has made a fair copy of it, so that I may make the piano score 
 from it. To my great regret I was unable to accept his invitation for 
 the Festival at Sitten. But the one who might very well have done it, 
 and who was wrong in not wanting to go, was Joachim. I have just 
 heard, I don't know from whom, that my friend, who is so terribly
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 203 
 
 hike-warm as a correspondent, is gone to Vienna, to spend his summer 
 holidays, as I was told. Is it true ? 
 
 Hans spent the summer months of this year with his mother in Dresden, 
 and some of the family letters written during that time show that he was on 
 friendly terms with some of the Polish aristocracy, especially with the Countess 
 Kamienska and her daughter Helene, who had their fixed home in Dresden. 
 As these two ladies kept up a very pleasant house, and were much visited by 
 people of their own nation, it was very likely there that young Billow made 
 the acquaintance of Count Mycielski. The latter begged Billow to give his 
 daughters lessons in music as long as the family was in Dresden ; for, like 
 many other noble and wealthy Polish families, the Mycielskis were in the 
 habit of spending a few months there every year. Billow agreed to do this, 
 and shortly afterwards the Count made a proposal that Billow should take up 
 a permanent position in his house, as master to his daughters and pianist to the 
 family. In spite of Billow's urgent longing to be able to stand on his own 
 legs pecuniarily, the independent spirit of the young artist would with 
 difficulty have submitted to taking such a post, had it not been for the thought 
 of Paris, and the wish which the Master Liszt had excited and kept strongly 
 before him to take his chance there as soon as possible as a public player. 
 
 He therefore resolved, by giving up for a time his freedom, to earn for 
 himself the means to defray the expenses of a debut in Paris. 
 
 Writing to his friend Alexander Ritter from Dresden, in the early part of 
 August, he says : 
 
 I have not very consolatory news from Zurich. HE is very much 
 out of spirits, and discouraged enough to shoot himself. HE must 
 be in very precarious outward circumstances : Liszt spoke of an exchange. 
 Try to warm people up a little, so that perhaps through Johanna* HE 
 may be helped at least for the moment. 
 
 As the attempt to procure Billow's letters to the French Master, Hector 
 Berlioz, has proved unsuccessful, and as in all probability they do not any 
 longer exist, the two following letters to Billow may fill this gap : f 
 
 HECTOR BERLIOZ TO HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 28th July 1854. 
 
 It is a charming surprise that you have given me, and your manu- 
 script is all the more welcome as Brandus, the publisher, who is at this 
 
 * Johanna Wagner (1828-1894), the celebrated singer and actress, and a uiece of 
 Wagner's. 
 
 t These two letters are taken from the ' Correspondance inedite de Hector 
 Berlioz (1819-1868),' by the kind permission of Monsieur C. Levy, in Paris, the 
 publisher of them.
 
 204 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 moment engraving ' Cellini,' had already chosen a somewhat obscure and 
 sixth-rate pianist to arrange the Overture. 
 
 Your work is admirable ; it has a clearness and fidelity which are 
 rare, and is as little difficult as it was possible to make it without alter- 
 ing my score. So I thank you with all my heart. I shall go and see 
 Brandus this evening, and take him your precious manuscript. I have 
 done a great deal of work since my return from Dresden ; I have done 
 the first part of my sacred Trilogy 'Le Songe d'Hdrode.' This score 
 precedes the embryo which you know under the name of 'Fuite en 
 Egypte,' and, together with the ' Arive"e a Sais,' will form a complete 
 whole of sixteen numbers, lasting altogether an hour and a half, includ- 
 ing the entr'actes. It is not at all wearisome, as you see, in comparison 
 with the sacred wearisomenesses which overwhelm one for four hours at 
 a stretch.* 
 
 I have tried some new devices : the melody of the ' Insomnie 
 d'He'rode ' is written in G minor on the following scale, designated by I 
 don't know what Greek name in the Plain-Song : 
 
 This induces some very sombre harmonies, and cadences of a certain 
 character which seemed to me appropriate to the situation. You were 
 very taciturn when you sent me the parcel of music ; I should have been 
 so pleased to have a few lines from you ! 
 
 Your sister passed through Paris lately, but so hurriedly that, when 
 I received the card she had left at the house early one morning, she had 
 already started for London. 
 
 Will you please give my best compliments to your mother. Shall 
 you not come to Paris ? I am starting in a few days for Munich, where 
 I shall stay three weeks. Later on, towards November, I shall come to 
 Germany again, and perhaps I shall see you in Dresden. 
 
 Remember me to Mr. and Madame Pohl, and give a hand-shake to 
 that excellent Lipinski. 
 
 HECTOR BERLIOZ TO HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 1st September 1854. 
 
 I was delighted to get your kind letter, and hasten to thank you for 
 it. I did not go to Munich, for, just when I was about to go, a post 
 
 * A play upon the words 'assommant, assommoirs, assoiniuent.'
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 205 
 
 became vacant at the ' Academic des Beaux- Arts ' of our Institute, and I 
 remained in Paris in order to take the necessary steps imposed upon the 
 candidates. I resigned myself unreservedly to the terrible visits, the 
 letters, and all that the Academy inflicts on those who desire to " intrare 
 in suo docto corpore " (Moliere's Latin) ; and Mr. Clapisson was appointed. 
 
 So now it is put off for another time. For I am resolved to go on 
 presenting myself until death ensues. 
 
 I have just been spending a week at the sea-side, in a village in 
 Normandy, little known; in a few days I shall start for the South, 
 where I am expected by my sister and my uncles for a family reunion. 
 
 I do not expect to return to Germany till the winter. Doubtless 
 Liszt is right in approving of your having accepted the position which 
 was offered to you in Poland ; in any case, you must not lose sight of 
 your journey to Paris, if you can undertake it with perfect freedom of 
 mind as regards the financial result of the concerts. I long to be able 
 to make you acquainted with all our friends of art, whose qualities of 
 mind and heart might render their acquaintance agreeable to you. 
 
 You know French so well that you will be able to understand 
 Parisian; and you will perhaps be amused to see how the world of 
 writers loves to play with phrases, and those who presume to call them- 
 selves philosophers ride [on the hobby-horse of] their ideas. 
 
 I shall be quite at your disposal on my return, and very anxious 
 to see the orchestral compositions of which you speak. My score of 
 ' Cellini ' could not possibly find a more intelligent and friendly critic 
 than yourself ; allow me to thank you for having thought of doing that 
 work about it in Mr. Pohl's book. For the rest, this work is certainly 
 unlucky ; the King of Saxony gets killed just as they were going to give 
 it in Dresden. ... It is the fatality of the ancients, and one might say 
 of this what Virgil said of Dido : " Ter sese attollens cubitoque adnixa 
 levavit : Ter revoluta toro est." 
 
 What a grand composer was Virgil ! what melody and what harmony 
 he had ! It is to him that belongs the dying exclamation : " Qualis 
 artifex pereo ! " and not to that poser of a Nero, who had but one inspira- 
 tion in his life the setting fire on one night to the four corners of Kome ; 
 a proof that a mediocre man may sometimes have a grand idea. 
 
 The opera reopened yesterday. Madame Stoltz made her reappear- 
 ance in the role of the Favorita. When I saw her make her appearance 
 on the stage, I really took her for an ' apparition.' * Her voice has also 
 suffered the irreparable outrages from the ravages of time. The new 
 administration of the Opera had made a coup d'etat by taking from the 
 
 * A play on the words ' apparition ' and ' reapparition ' in the previous sentence.
 
 206 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 journalists their free entrance, so that the poor Stoltz will have made her 
 rentree in vain. There was a council of war, in the foyer, of all the most 
 powerful (goose) quills, and we unanimously decided that we must declare 
 to the Opera a " War of silence." Consequently not a word will be said 
 of the reopening, nor of the debut of Madame Stoltz, until the manage- 
 ment returns to better sentiments. 
 
 I am working at a long ' feuilleton de silence ' which will appear next 
 week, and which bothers me much. Adieu, the writing to you has some- 
 what refreshed me. 
 
 Writing to Liszt from Dresden, on the 26th September 1854, Biilow says : 
 
 In a week at latest I shall have left Dresden, and started for 
 Chocieszewice near Kroben, in the Grand-Duchy of Posen. Possibly I 
 shall make a trip to Berlin in the month of November, especially if my 
 solitude weighs too heavily on me. I am, alas, one of those weak and 
 rather passive natures that cannot do without the society of others, nor 
 without all sorts of impressions and emotions, in order to be encouraged 
 and inspired into productiveness, and even into the most simple intel- 
 lectual activity which requires abstraction. This feeling of isolation, 
 which might easily become fatal to me, in spite of its advantages of 
 which I am. fully aware, will probably be redoubled by the surroundings 
 of Chocieszewice. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 CHOCIESZEWICE, Wth October 1854. 
 
 PrcBScriptum : You can read the letter without any anxious beating 
 of your motherly heart ; it is in no way impregnated with my mood of 
 the 7th October. 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 I wish and hope much that you are feeling better and more 
 comfortable than I am at the present time. 
 
 Last night's sleep has not yet fully restored me, after the two previous 
 miserable nights of unsettled locomotion. 
 
 The journey from Dresden to Breslau by night is horrible an hour 
 and a half's stop at Gorlitz, and three quarters of an hour ditto at Kohl- 
 fuhrt. Breslau is, as a whole, a really beautiful town, but the population 
 is perfectly disgusting. Palestine, and no mistake. Elegance without 
 taste. Predominating types of Jewish faces, which form complete varia- 
 tions to the tune of Judaism. The upper half of the face sometimes 
 beautiful, the lower half very ugly and of a repulsive colour. I went to
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 207 
 
 see Hesse (the organist), a friend of Spohr's, and the pianist Karl 
 Schnabel, but did not find either of them at home. Old Mosewius, the 
 music-director of the University, and well known through his analysis 
 of Bach's Passion-music, was however very much pleased with my visit, 
 and took me to the University, where he showed me the ' Aula ' and 
 another concert-room, in which Liszt had formerly played, the 
 musical library, etc. He had been well acquainted with General Bulow- 
 Dennewitz, and told me also about his compositions. 
 
 I also went to the pianoforte manufactory of Bessalie ; he makes 
 very serviceable concert-grands, and was very pleasant to me. Henselt 
 was there a few weeks ago, and had written to him his approbation of 
 the sounding-board. 
 
 At the theatre I saw ' Robert le diable,' and indeed a very decent 
 performance, both by singers and orchestra, including the conducting. 
 A very good theatre, both inside and out, and situated in a splendid 
 square. Very well lighted ; began at 7 o'clock, of which I was very glad, 
 as I did not know how I should have killed time till the departure of the 
 mail-coach for Rawicz at 11 o'clock at night. I alighted at the ' Weisser 
 Adler,' in order not to be left sticking in the road, and I found it good 
 and cheap. On the other hand I had to pay such an immense deal for 
 overweight of luggage from Breslau to Rawicz, that I found I was 
 drained pretty dry for the extra-post from Rawicz, where I arrived at 
 6 o'clock in the morning. After many difficulties, which this state of 
 things occasioned me, I at last succeeded, thanks to the special friendli- 
 ness of the directress of the Post, in getting them to provide me with 
 the necessary means for continuing my journey, on my assurance that 
 Count Mycielski would make it all straight with them on my arrival. A 
 contemptible journey, which I shall not forget. A horrible road, fearful 
 cold, a Biirgerwiese * hurricane ; I finally arrived at Chocieszewice about 
 half-past ten o'clock, feeling myself gone all to pieces. I am so little 
 satisfied with the treatment I have met with up to now, that, if many 
 things are not radically altered when the Count returns, I shall not 
 endure these horrors more than a month. He went some days ago, with 
 his constellation of daughters and the governess, to visit some relations ; 
 and, though he is expected back daily and even hourly, he has not yet 
 arrived. For four weeks I can and will bear the horrors. The castle is 
 grand ; the dining halls and salons, royal ; of fabulous size and height. 
 But it wants a Slavonic temperament to be able to endure this cold, 
 against which the warming of one's inner man is not a sufficient counter- 
 
 * An open space ; in the outskirts of Dresden at the time when this letter was 
 written.
 
 208 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 poise as long as the cold lasts. My room has suffered in its walls through 
 the inundations still it is not so very damp. It is as large, in itself 
 alone, as the two rooms in which you are now living in the Reitbahiigasse, 
 and a bit over. They assure me that the stove is sufficient to warm it 
 thoroughly. A monster sofa, a monster table both extremely homely 
 and inconvenient, although new ; a writing-table without any pigeon- 
 holes, a chest of drawers, a night-table, and an equally un-ideal bed ; 
 these, together with four chairs, constitute the furniture, which, in the 
 enormous size of the room, is completely lost. I invite you herewith to 
 house all the furniture you have not room for with me. 
 
 A dirty old Polish valet, who understands very little German, looks 
 after me ; his service is maintained on a level with the functions of a 
 prison jailer, both as regards quantity and quality. In this respect I am 
 considered exactly the same as my neighbour and " colleague," a certain 
 Herr Schreiber from Dresden, a very good-natured, but very moderately 
 educated young man, a painter, whose room is separated from mine by a 
 little corridor. Yesterday being my first day, I have had no opportunity 
 as yet to protest against this. I must wait for everything till the Count 
 comes back. 
 
 The scenery round the castle is beautiful it is laid out like a park, 
 and reminds one a little of the corner to the right of the pavilion in the 
 public garden in Dresden. " Hunerfiirst ! " * But then, all around, 
 one has the most truly Polish peasantry a lot of villages inhabited by 
 the veriest blockheads of Poles, and where not a single syllable of 
 German is spoken. One is thus entirely cut off from intercourse of any 
 sort. On Sundays a travelling cobbler goes round the neighbourhood, 
 and to him is entrusted the restoration of coat-buttons, and the constitu- 
 tional reparation of chance holes in garments. 
 
 Whether I shall be able to find a barber is as yet shrouded in mystery. 
 But that won't trouble me very much, for in this cold weather a beard 
 would help to warm me. But there are many other things that I want 
 dreadfully. First a few thalers to pay for any letters which come un- 
 stamped, for it seems to me safest to adopt the French plan in regard to 
 this; then two pairs of gloves, light grey stitched with black, from 
 Ammann 7^ he knows my number, or rather my size (for the numbers 
 vary) ; a little bottle of hair-oil, and a small, sharp pair of scissors. That 
 is all for the present. 
 
 The safest address for me is that of my journey : c/o Count Myciel- 
 ski, Rawicz, Chocieszewice, near Krbben, via Breslau. 
 
 Will you be so good as to put in, with the things I have asked for, 
 
 * A well-known conductor of an out-door orchestra in Dresden.
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 209 
 
 two packets of Russian paper-cigarettes (Spiglasoff) from Philipp's by the 
 Kreuzkirche; at 12^ silbergroschen the packet. 
 
 In all that I have hitherto told you, one thing after another in a 
 mechanical, fragmentary way, there is absolutely nothing to call forth 
 pity in my situation. That, however, is yet to follow, and consists in 
 the want of a grand piano, and, if such a want continues, it will drive 
 me away in a very short space of time. The Count's secretary and 
 manager, who is in possession of the old instrument which the Count 
 promised me I should have for my own use in composition in my room, 
 appears to be unwilling to give it up to me. The Countess, who is of 
 that sweet, condescending amiability which is particularly unpleasant to 
 me, said she had understood I should bring my instrument with me. 
 How the matter will be arranged I do not yet know. I expect I shall 
 have to hire one from the neighbourhood : there must be some to be had. 
 
 Dinner yesterday was at 2 o'clock, and tea at 8 o'clock ; the hours, 
 and the quality of the food, were both satisfactory to me. The Countess 
 had a visit from some relations ... an old cousin, with whom I had 
 a good deal of conversation, who had an opportunity of judging of my 
 attainments, and who was very pleasant to me, who had known Chopin 
 intimately, and had seen much in Paris. Also a brother of the Countess, 
 still pretty young, looking awfully bored : and then there was his wife, 
 a young lady, not pretty, but not unamiable-looking, who had such 
 a good memory that she recollected having seen me three or four years 
 ago at a party given by a Polish lady in the Halbegasse. 
 
 After dinner I was weak enough to accede to the request to play 
 something, which I did in the cold salon, with frozen fingers. The lady 
 of the house accompanied me with conversation; the men the old 
 cousin especially were polite and admired my playing. After tea I 
 repaired, uninvited, to a drawing-room that had been heated, to make 
 conversation, and to be freer and more unconstrained. 
 
 I am waiting, for everything that requires alteration, the arrival of 
 the Count : anything I have to say to the Countess I do through the 
 stepdatighters. 
 
 How are you? Did you get comfortably home? What a tough 
 hide man has in regard to his troubles ! And how much it takes really 
 to destroy the machine ! 
 
 How did things go on Sunday ? Do tell me about the dinner at the 
 Kamienskis. Or, if you would rather, not a word : or else, just as much 
 as you like. 
 
 I am at the moment not disposed to write to anybody else but you. 
 But perhaps later on I shall beg you to pass my letters round now and then. 
 
 Have you got a little accustomed to your new house? And how are 
 
 o
 
 210 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 you off for servants ? Has the Caesar-music been brought back ? I do 
 uncommonly wish to hear of a second performance, so that the gentle- 
 men of the orchestra may play something less barbarous. 
 
 Please remember me most kindly to Fraulein Draseke.* How I 
 wish I could have had a chat with her yesterday evening ! 
 
 Now farewell, dearest mother, and do let me hear from you as soon 
 as possible. 
 
 My "colleague" assures me that the postal arrangements are very 
 regular and dependable. Let's hope so. Have the other Polish ladies 
 been to see you ? 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER 
 
 CHOCIESZEWICE, \Wi October 1854. 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 Yesterday afternoon, just as I had given my nineteenth 
 piano lesson, I received your letter. Thank you very much for it, as 
 well as for all the things I wanted. I am answering you by return of 
 post, because, before my letter arrives in Dresden, much time will have 
 elapsed. For in the afternoons a groom rides with the post-bag to 
 Kroben, whence he brings back at night any letters that have arrived for 
 us. The post does not go out from Kroben to Rawicz till the next day, so 
 that a letter cannot reach its destination under three to four days. Of 
 course the delay is far less in letters coming to us here. 
 
 You have really sent me too much in sending three thalers, for here 
 one has no use for a purse of any kind . . . the only "silver sound " is 
 " Music." This is really a comfort, which you would especially enjoy. 
 For me it has the special charm of novelty. 
 
 The only expenditure I have had as yet was buying a Polish 
 grammar, which the Count's secretary, Herr Baranowski, a very pleasant 
 man in his own style and according to the limited circle of his mind, 
 procured for me. I leave the exercise of local benevolence towards the 
 countless calls of a begging nation to the highest bidder, the lord of over 
 20,000 acres, the proprietor of an estate which is now a bargain at a 
 million, the enviable man who can bear with equanimity the enormous 
 loss of 20,000 to 30,000 reichsthaler (he says 40,000) which the inunda- 
 tion caused him. 
 
 I shall also have expenses for tailor's repairs, for shaving, and, 
 eventually, for bootmaker. 
 
 The Count has now brought a little order into things, and behaves 
 (until further notice, low be it spoken) very well. I am now well served 
 
 * Daughter of the bishop, and aunt of the composer Draseke ; a very active- 
 minded and literary lady, who made a metrical translation of Byron.
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 211 
 
 by a " compatriot," a Vandal brought from Dresden, who does not 
 speak Saxon, and is quite exemplarily methodical. A wardrobe has 
 been made for me by the joiner. As soon as the Count has read the 
 papers he sends them straight to me ... the Independence and 
 Charivari ; of German ones there is unfortunately only the Scklesische 
 Zeitung, but on Tuesdays Kladderadatsch. He has also begged me to 
 give singing lessons four hours a week this of course he will pay 
 for extra . . . but at present, in spite of the most sedulous sleeping and 
 feeding, I have been so done up by my schoolmaster duties that I have 
 not been able to make up my mind to agree to it. 
 
 I must briefly give you a sketch of the uniform course of my daily life. 
 As I always go to bed an hour before midnight, and sometimes a couple 
 of hours, I wake and get up, as a rule, not later than 7 o'clock. From 
 9 to 11 I have to give two "music " lessons, and to instil into my pupils 
 Czerny's Studies, Dbhler's Tarantelle and Willmer's ' Schwalben Etude.' 
 That is a tiring " robota " (labour), a torture analogous to the national 
 punishment in Persia, for the wrong notes drip into my ears as con- 
 stantly as the drops of water on the skull of a Persian criminal. The 
 middle "Countess," I must say, takes much more pains here in Chocies- 
 zewice than in Dresden, and shows more intelligence and energy than 
 Fraulein Elisa, whom I have today reproached with her " mollesse slave " 
 (Slavonic indolence). She has, without doubt, the most decided want 
 of talent. Boundless are my troubles with the youngest, thirteen years 
 old, into whom I am drubbing a Quadrille on airs from c Martha,' for a 
 birthday treat for her Papa. To a certain extent Fraulein Marie is really 
 the most sensible ; she openly avows that she has no vocation for piano- 
 playing, and, indeed, a very great disinclination for it : considering her 
 conviction of her utter want of talent, and in spite of the absurd way her 
 parents insist on her learning, she is comparatively willing, but she has 
 no ear, no sense of rhythm, nor of melody. 
 
 Vest vraiment une corvee (it is a real drudgery). 
 
 From 11 to 12 I take a walk in the park in fine weather, which 
 hitherto has not failed us, or else I go to my writing-table, and have a 
 rest by reading some book or other Berlioz' ' Soire'es d'Orchestre,' the 
 first volume of Gervinus' ' Literaturgeschichte des deutschen Mittelalters,' 
 and others of that kind. Except to you, I have not yet managed any 
 correspondence. From 12 to 2 I practise pretty vigorously on the new 
 grand piano of Rbnisch, which is an excellent one. At 2 o'clock we 
 dine, very well, though sometimes rather limited in quantity on Fridays 
 "maigre," and then have a chat over our coffee in the Count's room, a 
 few useless French phrases about nothing at all. I then go out again 
 till 4 o'clock to warm myself, for we freeze here like barbarians, and the
 
 212 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 Count forbids any continuous Avarming of the rooms as injurious to 
 health (in which he is perhaps right) ; but it seems to take longer with 
 me to get accustomed to the physical temperature than to the psychical. 
 From 4 to 5 I play again for myself ; from 5 to 6 lessons ; from 6 to 7 I 
 generally "compose"; at 7 o'clock is supper (hot), and then tea, but 
 this is taken in a most uncomfortable manner at a long table in a cold, 
 and enormously lofty, salon. After that, I usually accept an invitation 
 from the Countess to have a little music and conversation in the music- 
 room, because I find it is a good thing to play before puppets when 
 I have not got musical men ("a ddfaut d'hommes musicaux, mannequins 
 vorzuspielen "), for, after all, the majority of the public consists of the 
 puppets. But about half-past eight, when I have regained my own four 
 walls, I am pretty well "done," and am no good for anything much 
 except reading the papers, which, in the absence of any closer personal 
 interests in my surroundings, I thoroughly devour with the voracious 
 appetite of an old, spectacled subscriber of Tante Voss* Up to the 
 present I have not had any indigestion from it. 
 
 I have had an old tin-kettle of a piano in my room since Herr 
 Baranowski has been prevented (for a long time, it appears), by a wound 
 in the hand, from slaving at it. It just does for composing, as it has 
 been done up and is in good tune, but for playing it is absolutely unfit. 
 
 I have no occasion at this moment to complain of my present situa- 
 tion. It is just a banishment, a punishment for the once " Nihilist," that 
 he has come into the Paradise of a complete negation of all interests. 
 If this negation would extend itself also to my frequent head- and neck- 
 ache it would be a good thing. But I am quite certain that I shall not 
 be able to stand it long without a break. My journey to Berlin, towards 
 the 10th or 15th November, is considered here as a settled thing; it is 
 in every respect necessary to me. I am now working at my instrument 
 with all my powers, with a view to this excursion. I will then give a 
 concert in Posen in December, or several (during the meeting of the 
 diet) ; I am sure, then, of doing a good business, and Count M[ycielski] 
 has promised me his best assistance. 
 
 At the beginning of next year, Breslau. Whether there will be 
 anything to be done with Hamburg is a question. First Berlin : but 
 how ? Of this more anon. 
 
 When is Johanna Wagner's friend t going to Berlin? 
 
 No, I must not let myself be buried, even with the prospect of the 
 most glorious resurrection after a year's grace ! My " colleague," a Herr 
 
 * Familiar name for the Vossische Zeit-ung. 
 t Helene Kamienska,
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 2l3 
 
 Schneider,* is a very good and, as such, a moderate Saxon. I am going 
 to study English with him, the elements of which he already knows, 
 ^"ext Sunday we are going a mile and a half to a little nest of a place 
 called Kobylin. His post here is altogether of a very inferior nature to 
 mine, because he does not speak French. 
 
 Please forward the enclosed note to Isa as soon as you can. On the 
 25th some strangers (ladies) are expected here ; a Countess Potocka and 
 her daughters, etc. 
 
 I sent my serious and absolute (not my relative) best remembrances 
 to Fraulein Draseke. 
 
 Once more, best thanks for your letter, and please write to me very 
 soon and fully. Your loneliness is nothing in comparison with mine, 
 and the wretched postal connection delays our correspondence so. 
 
 P.S. I strongly recommend to Fraulein Draseke Bauer's ' Russland 
 und das Germanenthum.' I have enjoyed it very much it helped me 
 over the first dreadful days. It is so masterly in its power and manliness, 
 so " free," that is, written also with such freedom from party-spirit, and 
 so utterly different from what either of you would imagine, that I am 
 right in recommending it to you. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 CHOCIESZEWICE, 5th November 1854. 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 I have just received your letter, and, according to my 
 present custom, I set myself the same evening to answer it. 
 
 From Isidore I have twice had news, although very incomplete, for 
 she has sent me two numbers of the Gazette musicale by book-post. That 
 is a very practical, cheap kind of correspondence, where it is only a 
 question of giving a sign that one is alive ; but, after my two last letters, 
 which were not unbrotherly, she might have done more than scribble a 
 mere address. In my last letter I had already warmly encouraged her 
 to make the most of her stay in Paris, and to let me know all the many 
 things even if it concerned merely the masses of houses that it would 
 interest me to hear. Twice I have also asked whether Mrs. Joy would 
 like me to send her a list of music for playing or singing, and she does 
 not answer me about that either. If I have a spare moment tomorrow 
 to enclose a note to her, and to beg her again to extract some sweets 
 from her stay in Paris, and to tell her explicitly some things that I 
 remember reading, I will be sure to do it ; if not tomorrow, then another 
 time, that is, of course very soon. 
 
 * In a later letter Billow says : "his name is 'Schreiber,' not 'Schneider.'"
 
 214 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 With regard to the music for which I asked her, it is the Eomance 
 ' La chaine anglaise ' for Mile. Kamieriska, whom I shall very soon surprise 
 with an ' Albumblatt ' of Liszt's. You can tell her about it beforehand ; 
 that does not matter. Yesterday I received a letter from my Pest friend, 
 Eugen v. Soupper,* who is now in Weimar, on the last page of which 
 Liszt had written a friendly greeting, and promised to send me very soon 
 what I had begged for. 
 
 Why don't you write me a word about the ' Crown Diamonds ' ? f I 
 don't know the opera. It is said to be amusing therefore allowed. I 
 am looking forward to Thursday, for then I shall hear a string twanged 
 once more. There is to be a small ball, for which a band is coming from 
 Kobylin : double-bass, two violins and a flute. 
 
 Just fancy how modest we are ! Early this morning I drove in a 
 wretched carriage (an open one, in every way most countrified and 
 primitive) to the Jewish village of Kobylin with Herr Schreiber, who is 
 not a bad fellow at all, and not without a grain of art. In the coupe 
 with us sat the cook's chief kitchen-boy, who understands no German, 
 and with whom I exchanged a few words of Polish jabber. At Kobylin 
 we went to the Catholic and Protestant churches, and stayed a while for 
 the service. Then we bought ourselves some pen-knives at 3 neugroschen, 
 chocolate, blue ink, etc. Finally we went to the confectioner's, where 
 we read the French and German papers, which we had taken with us on 
 purpose, while we ate cakes and tried to imagine we were sitting at 
 Trepp's, and that the mud-bank before the window was the Schlossgasse, 
 and the Polish peasant-women (as a rule brutally ugly) the beautiful Polish 
 ladies one sees coming out of the Catholic church at twelve o'clock, etc., 
 etc. Soon after that, some well-dressed ladies came into the cake-shop, 
 and began an interesting discussion as to whether pigs might be fed with 
 diseased potatoes. A Protestant thought they might, a Catholic thought 
 not ; a Jewess, who perhaps, in the words " diseased potatoes," thought 
 they were alluding to her, ran away. . ' 
 
 The return ride was interesting. Our carriage was packed choke-full 
 with all sorts of purchases, when, at a farm hard by, they packed in also 
 a dead pig as a cushion to lean against and to sit upon. We were 
 tremendously tickled, and laughed till the tears ran down our cheeks. At 
 dinner I entertained them with a lively description of what had happened : 
 ' Nous avions une soci^te charmante ; d'abord pour compagnon de voyage 
 un garcon cuisinier, avec lequel nous avons parle* polonais puis le cadavre 
 d'un cochon, avec lequel nous n'avons pas fait la conversation polonaise 
 
 * A concert singer, and countryman of Liszt's. 
 {" Opera by Auber.
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BEKLIN. 215 
 
 mais qui nous a servi de sopha,' etc. The Count thought that, in the 
 excessive cold, that must have kept us nice and warm. I began to laugh 
 over again ; c'est champetre ! c'est champetre ! 
 
 The Count has not yet repaid me the money for my journey, conse- 
 quently I have not been able to go to ' Lohengrin ' at Breslau. I did 
 not want to ask him for it now ; the right moment will come of itself. 
 But, in case of a longer stay here (of course including the journey to 
 Berlin), I do require a few more thalers, and should be very grateful if 
 you could send them as soon as possible registered. 
 
 The Kamieriskis the plural is skie for ladies are mad ; first they work 
 themselves up, then you, and so forth. First I must try the metropolis, 
 then the provincial towns. The other way about would be nonsense. 
 
 Countess Mycielska (!!!) and the Count ski have something else to 
 do than to lend me a helping hand in my concerts. Their guests of the 
 time being cannot and will not by any means do anything for a pianist 
 who is unknown to them, and who, further, neither can nor will ask for 
 their protection. Prince Sulkowski comes on the 9th November 
 perhaps he may chance to interest himself somewhat more for me, 
 though I don't really think he will. What can I begin and that is the 
 principal thing without funds, without the necessary capital in hand, 
 or at any rate at my disposal, in case of extremity, for a first concert in 
 Berlin ? If Madame Schumann takes the concert-public, with Joachim, 
 in Berlin in November, it is all over with a poor, forsaken beggar like 
 me. And I endure it here too. It is a sad, empty life ; and yet this 
 supreme indifference, in which irony almost gives place to a certain 
 bonhommie (bon-enfantie), and which I breathe in all my surroundings 
 here, has its advantages ; one learns to moderate and restrain one's self 
 completely, and to value the charm of an ordinary vegetable existence. 
 I am content, in the evening, when I have seen my "hostess" or 
 " principal " once in the day, or even less, for she irritates my nerves in 
 conversation and in her whole being, and thus lends a flavour of virtu- 
 ousness to my frequent attempts to be amiable : I am content when my 
 pupils have done pretty badly and pretty trivially (in " expression ") on 
 the poor piano : am content when Mile. B., " qui est bete comme une oie," 
 as the Count sympathetically agrees with me in thinking, and Herr v. 
 Baranowski have talked moderate rubbish at table over the political 
 questions of the day. That I am happy when I have eaten well, not 
 been too much frozen, have slept well that goes without saying. Last 
 night I had the adventurous enjoyment of a mouse-chase. The morning 
 sun showed my raven* Hermann the glorious result of the fallen prey. 
 
 * Refers to Elias, whom the ravens fed.
 
 216 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 The Count is niggardly, and talks big, but in the main he is a man 
 of a great deal of bon sens, and of proportionate, very proportionate 
 humanity ; and, as I said, of very sound views ; in politics, for instance. 
 In his outer man he has that generous-sentient pli (wrinkle) which 
 amused me in Lemaistre, like the head of a confiding cat I can't put it 
 in any other way : that element of animal-intelligence which, in its 
 natural truth, is so infinitely above a subtle-human stupidity. He 
 venerates Kladderadatsch with understanding and enthusiasm, arid it 
 warms my heart to hear him hold forth about it. He lets himself be 
 carried away by the spirit of it, and that is a great deal ; if I have a joke 
 he is usually my public, and just of the kind I like not outwardly 
 admiring, but visibly and inwardly consuming it. 
 
 Where on earth am I wandering? 
 
 Madame Laussot's book, ' Comedies par Alfred de Musset,' is read 
 through and through, and has given me many pleasant moments. My 
 greetings to the donor. Ditto to Fraulein Draseke ; I will write her a 
 Funeral March for Korniloff. How could I go now to Warsaw 1 What 
 chateaux en Espagne, or rather, Poland ! It is all one. 
 
 Can you send me ' Eichard II. ' in German ? We have begun to read 
 it in English, and it is difficult. 
 
 Do, for Heaven's sake, read something ! at least the Revues, the 
 Deutsches Museum, the Grenzboten ! What does the supplement to the 
 Augsburger give 1 Please keep me a little au fait of this, dear Mamma ! 
 Lipinski ? . . . The Czartoryska* is giving a concert for the sufferers 
 from the inundation very shortly ; it is already announced. I will, if 
 possible, pluck up my courage to write letters to Berlin tomorrow. 
 
 Farewell, and shorten the time for yourself by writing to me often ! 
 
 15th November. 
 
 Life here is, in the main, horribly uncomfortable and uninteresting. 
 One vegetates. Yet so great is the power of habit that, frankly, I don't 
 feel inclined to go to Berlin, and would much rather keep on staying 
 here, where the days go on unwinding themselves with their accustomed 
 functions, like a ball of thread. On Sunday it is the name-day of 
 
 * " Madame la Princessc Czartoryska, inusicienne parfaite par le savoir et par 
 le gout, distinguee, pianiste en outre . . . Apres une quintette de Hummel, qu'elle 
 venait d'executer avec uue superiorite magistrale, quelqu'un me dit : 
 
 ' Decidement il n'y a plus d'amateurs !' . . . ' Oh ' repondis-je, ' en chercliant 
 bien vous en trouverez peut-6tre merne parmi les artistes. Mais en tout cas la 
 Princesse est une exception.'" Berlioz "Me"moires" : vol. II. page 198.
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 217 
 
 Fraulein Eliiika ; I shall present her with the dedication of a Mazurka, 
 which, with a still unfinished Notturno, I am going to offer to Schott. 
 
 The Count went, the day before yesterday, with a few guests who are 
 still here, to pay a visit to the neighbouring estate of Herr v. S table wski ; 
 they came back at mid-day today, but were expected yesterday. On that 
 account we dined yesterday at 6, and today at 4 o'clock. This irregular 
 way of living does not suit me at all. If one cannot command according 
 to one's own humour, then there ought at least to be a hard and fast rule 
 as regards the day's arrangements, from which there is no deviation. 
 
 Do you still read Kladderadatsch ? It has been uninterruptedly 
 capital, especially the last double number. 
 
 Write soon, dear mother, and thank you once more for all your care 
 and sympathy. I hope, in my next letter, to be able to tell you more 
 definitely about my journey, etc. 
 
 Your grateful son 
 
 HANS. 
 
 TO HIS SISTER. 
 
 CHOCIESZEWICE, 6th November 1854. 
 
 ISIDORE ! ISA ! ISIDORE ! 
 
 It is really unpardonable and unwarrantable of you that 
 you have never deemed me worthy of a line in reply to my repeated 
 requests. What lots of things you could write to me from Paris which 
 would, which must, especially interest me, as a man not knowing Paris, 
 and as Hans vou Billow ! Even if you only told me of the rough 
 impression made upon you by the masses of houses I should say, of 
 the impression made upon you by the high, rough masses of houses, 
 which of themselves have such manifold historical interest, that would 
 at least be something, and I should indeed be more grateful to you for 
 that than for sending me a couple of numbers of one of the most stupid 
 musical papers, such as has not its equal in all Germany. Not merely so 
 awfully stupid, but so insipidly dull, so silly were the contents of this 
 paper present, on which the only interesting thing was the address in 
 your handwriting. Just consider what a piece of luck you are having, 
 and how many of your companions quite apart from me, for instance, 
 would envy you for living in the city which is the centre, not merely of 
 the civilised, but also of the uncivilised, world. And even if you went 
 to no theatre, and saw no museum, what an immense deal there is still 
 left in the way of streets, palaces, gardens, squares, and so forth. From 
 your very window, what an interesting panorama the faces of the
 
 218 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 passers by, the toilettes of the ladies and gentlemen I am speaking 
 quite seriously : even that would interest me ! 
 
 I have several times asked you direct, and through Mamma, for an 
 answer to my question, whether Mrs. Joy would like a list of music from 
 me, either for playing or singing, and you have not yet answered me, so 
 that it has been impossible for me to send it ! Is that French Romance, 
 of which I wrote to you, really not to be had at Brandus', Boulevard des 
 Italieus ? Who knows when you will see Paris again ! So open your 
 eyes and ears wide ! Read, look and listen ! It is indeed well worth 
 the trouble. Keep a diary, and write me a decent letter for once ! 
 
 You see today I am very cross and churlish, but for a month past I 
 have been bored out of my life, and it is allowable to want a little 
 relaxation, after having given 70 piano lessons. 
 
 Don't take my ill-humour amiss, and let me give you a little advice. 
 
 No doubt you have already found your way to Versailles ! to see the 
 museum there : Horace Vernet's pictures of the times of Napoleon 
 (battle of Jena and others) ; the deeds of the French army in Algiers 
 by I can't remember whom; the portraits of Robespierre, Mirabeau, 
 also Voltaire : these are all well worth seeing. 
 
 Foyatier's statue of Spartacus in the garden of the Tuileries must be 
 very beautiful : have you seen it ? Have you been to the Louvre 1 Be 
 sure to see Murillo's Madonna supported by angels ; portrait of Philip II. ; 
 the child drawing water with St. Augustine ; Titian's Christ ; Raphael's 
 Madonna; Christ seizing St. John by the head; Caravaggio's fortune- 
 telling gipsy. 
 
 Gros : Napoleon in the fever-hospital at Jaffa. \ 
 Gericault : Raft with rescued shipwrecked people. j> Modern. 
 David : Portraits. ) 
 
 Have you been to the Gobelin factory the celebrated tapestry 
 pictures ? 
 
 The sculpture portion of the Louvre must also contain some 
 magnificent things : the Borghese gladiator ; Melpomene, etc. 
 
 Have you been to the Invalid es? Have you seen the Emperor's 
 grave 1 
 
 Have you not yet been once to the theatre ? And if so, which 1 
 Do write to me about it. What papers are you reading? Is the 
 Figaro amusing ? 
 
 How is Berlioz looking ? Is he contented ? 
 
 Have you paid a visit to Jouvin, "gantier" (1 rue Rougeinont), to 
 Guerlain, "parfumeur" (13 rue de la Paix), to Julien, "patissier" 
 (Boulevard des Italiens), " Pate-Paris, gateau du soleil" . . .? Just 
 look about you and "dis-moi de leurs nouvelles" The best guide to
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 219 
 
 Paris is " Les quartiers de Paris, par St. Fargeau." That you ought to 
 get for yourself, and in a year's time I'll buy it from you. 
 
 I believe the following are very amusing, and help one to a knowledge 
 of Parisian life: "Les petits-Paris" ; and, in separate little brochures, 
 " Paris viveur ; Paris restaurant ; Paris bohcme ; Paris boursier, etc. / 
 which are to be got at Tarido's, the publisher, Galerie de 1'Odeon. 
 
 Don't you subscribe to any reading-library ? How do you actually 
 spend your days ? Describe to me how you live, and let me have a good 
 long letter from you soon ; or else I shall soon lose patience also, and 
 shall not send you any more messages. You have neglected me too 
 shamefully. Mind you thoroughly enjoy the beautiful city where the 
 most wretched beggar can get more amusement than a poor devil of a 
 fellow like me here in this desert country of Posen. Adieu meanwhile, 
 dear but most unsisterly sister ! 
 Farewell ! 
 
 As ever, 
 
 Thy faithful brother. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 CHOCIESZEWICE [Middle of November 1854.] 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 Many thanks for your dear letters and their accompani- 
 ments, the parcel of linen and cigars as well as the 30 thalers, which I 
 have safely received. 
 
 Since the day before yesterday we have winter, as winterly as 
 possible; showers of snow, cold and tempest. It will be difficult to 
 get away from here on the journey to Berlin. I don't believe there is 
 such a thing as a close carriage in the Count's coach-house. I shall 
 therefore have to wait for a fine day, even though it only takes about 
 two hours with the Count's horses to drive to the little town of Gostyn, 
 where we take the Post via Lissa to Glogau, whence the journey by rail 
 to Berlin is of course quite an easy matter. 
 
 My fingers are still so frozen that the writing does not get on at all, 
 or rather does not progress towards resigning gloriously the remains 
 of my Saxon nationality. Since yesterday, Sunday, evening I have 
 been re-installed in my former large room, which on Wednesday evening 
 I was obliged to exchange for a little chamber in the adjoining building, 
 as the housing of an unexpectedly large number of birthday guests 
 required all the accommodation of the castle. I was not in a very 
 comfortable frame of mind those four days. The endless confusion in
 
 220 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 the whole house, the unpunctuality (once we dined at 5, another time at 
 6, the third day at half-past six), and in addition being obliged to walk 
 50 paces of the most disgusting road in thin elegant dress at different 
 times of day and night in order to slip into the castle, all this had so 
 pulled me down, that soon after sitting down to table on Saturday I was 
 attacked by. such an excessively severe sick headache and feeling of 
 faintness that there was nothing for it but to go to bed at once. I did 
 not get up till noon yesterday, and felt still better in the afternoon. 
 
 I could not find any time to go on with my letter yesterday. It was 
 very uncomfortable in nay room last night, what with a smoky lamp, 
 insufficient fire and so forth. I spent the whole day at the piano. I 
 had been obliged to exist without one for four days. So yesterday I 
 began to practise again, and in a furious manner did three hours without 
 stopping. After dinner I went to the billiard-room for the first time, 
 and gave myself up to a game which Herr Schreiber was so kind as to 
 teach me, and found the motion a judicious contrast to pianoforte-playing. 
 Four hours of teaching, three of furious practice, two of billiards, a little 
 drawing-room conversation and strumming in the evening so the day 
 slips away, without any consciousness at night of anything achieved. 
 
 The company which had come hither for " St. Theodore's day " * 
 was, as I said before, very numerous, but it consisted chiefly of relations, 
 some of them being named Mycielski. Prince Sulkowski and his wife, 
 nee Mycielska, niece of Count Theodor ; the Prince's brother-in-law 
 Count Wodzicki, who, like his wife (nee Sulkowska) has something much 
 more distinguished about him than the Prince ; Count Plater ; Herr von 
 Stablewski, etc. : in short from 40 to 50 people, men, women, and 
 children too. . . . 
 
 Again I have let a day pass without finishing and despatching this letter. 
 But, in the first place postal communication was interrupted today, and 
 then I could not bear to banish myself to the writing-table. Ever since 
 I have known that I should soon be going to Berlin, and that a great 
 and fundamental question would have to be settled for me there, I have 
 not a moment's peace, and find myself dreaming by day of nothing but 
 concert-programmes, and all sorts of trifles appertaining to my concert- 
 and evening-dress, which needs thoroughly renovating. Having been 
 three weeks without a place to keep my things in, and without anyone 
 to mend them for me, my clothes have got into rather a bad state. How 
 all this bothers my head ! 
 
 For the rest, I must tell you I was pretty well satisfied with myself 
 at the piano today. It is certain that by regular good practice here I 
 
 * The Count's name-day.
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 221 
 
 have made decided progress. My probable first (Chamber)-concert-pro- 
 gramme, which I played to myself today, went smoothly all through. 
 1. Prelude (C minor) for the organ, by Bach (transcribed for the piano 
 by Liszt) ; and Beethoven's 32 Variations, C minor. 2. Liszt's 
 Patineurs. 3. Chopin's Berceuse, Etude, and Barcarole. 4. The big 
 Lucrezia-Fantasia by Liszt. For the second concert I should have again 
 an interesting series of pieces : 1. Bach's Organ Prelude and Fugue, 
 A minor (transcribed for piano by Liszt). 2. Beethoven's Sonata in F 
 minor or A major. 3. Ballade or Scherzo of Chopin . 4. The 
 Rossignol-Paganini Etude; a Waltz of Liszt's. 5. Sonnambula; the 
 second Lucrezia or Lucia or the Midsummer Night's Dream by Liszt. 
 For the third I should have no difficulty in finding novelties. 
 
 For the theatre, where I should certainly have to play first of all, I 
 should have the Beethoven Concerto and the three approved pieces for 
 pianoforte and orchestra of Liszt to bring forward as show-pieces. 
 
 I do not think Redern's acquaintance will avail me much. It seems 
 to me very uncertain whether it will help me to let my light shine 
 before His Majesty, to whom if it came to that I should have to play 
 the Russian National Anthem. 
 
 I will, likewise, not play for nothing at the opera-house, because at 
 the worst one must be prepared for further concerts. First of all I am 
 now going to write and ask Schlesinger when Frau Schumann intends to 
 fix her soirees in conjunction with Joachim, so that she may not clash 
 with me, and that I may not be at a loose end on leaving here, spending 
 unnecessary money. 
 
 Do not be vexed with me that I say all these things out to you in 
 my letter sansfapon, just as I used to do viv voce. But as I can't 
 consent to keeping a regular diary, and as there is not the least oppor- 
 tunity to be communicative to anybody in this confounded castle, you 
 must be motherly, and kindly allow my tongue, which is incapable of 
 carrying much, to send part of its luggage by the pen. 
 
 Where shall I stop in Berlin ? I forget the name of that Hdtel garni 
 where the Tiecks' Friederike can take me in. 
 
 Liszt wrote to me the day before yesterday, a letter of a few words, 
 almost as good as nothing, but containing a very elegant, charming little 
 manuscript for Helene Kamienska. There was however one pretty thing 
 in the letter, which is that Liszt wants to do the Caesar Overture at one 
 of the Stadthaus concerts. So you would have to be so good as to send 
 the score and orchestral parts to Weimar. You have probably seen Lipin- 
 ski ere now, and heard from him that my work is not thought worthy of 
 a second and more satisfactory performance. And the Caesar is also prob- 
 ably no longer in the repertoire. But when the opportunity occurs I will
 
 222 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 just let the Dresden orchestra know that we are quits. Please tell 
 Lipinski so. 
 
 After all I must tell you what my pen has resisted till now, that on 
 the 9th and 10th I played before the grand-ducal Poledom, and that my 
 audience treated me very well. They listened attentively and as quiet as 
 mice, and gave me a little pleasure in return by the manner of their 
 applause. The most marked instance of it was that they said openly, and 
 with piena voce, that my talent was greater than that of their country- 
 men Wieniawski and that special favourite of the Poles Kontski (who 
 is great as a charlatan and also in technique). They all showed the 
 utmost politeness to me, which I had, sure enough, set myself systemati- 
 cally to draw forth, by having, on the previous days, when guests had 
 already arrived, absented myself immediately after meals, and on Wed- 
 nesday had even distinguished myself by not appearing at all ! and an 
 extremely conciliatory visit of the Count, who came as their emissary, I 
 had met with an indefinite, unexpressed dissatisfaction. And in the 
 mornings also, when the guests were having music amongst themselves, 
 I kept away, so that then, when I did appear, they had double egards 
 for me. 
 
 TO HIS SISTER. 
 
 CHOCIESZEWICE, \Wi November 1854. 
 
 DEAR SISTER. 
 
 To set you an example I heap coals of fire on your head, 
 and answer your long letter received yesterday without further delay. 
 The quickness of my reply must atone for the shortcomings of my letter 
 as compared with yours. I have already told you, and you will believe 
 from my hasty sketch of the bare framework of Polish country seclusion, 
 that here in Chocieszewice there is no news to give, but only to 
 receive. 
 
 I have already given my 103rd music-lesson, and smoked the 103rd 
 paper cigarette ; I have fallen so low that to kill time I keep count of 
 things like this. But a week ago I found a resource of which I had 
 never even thought, and which I now employ with ardour several hours 
 a day, namely billiards, into the mysteries of which Herr Schreiber, the 
 drawing-master and my fellow-sufferer, has initiated me. It is an ex- 
 tremely delightful game of skill, and with the winter fully upon us since 
 the 10th of November, and the incessant snowstorms, it is a healthy 
 exercise for us without having to leave the room. 
 
 It will be settled in the course of this week whether and when I go 
 to Berlin. I am daily expecting letters from there to tell me whether I
 
 DRESDEN CHOGIESZEWICE BERLIN. 2 23 
 
 should have any chance there and should not encounter too great com- 
 petition. I shall not set out, in any case, for a fortnight ; and it certainly 
 would not do to bounce in in the Christmas-tiine. I should much like to 
 get a favourable answer, as I am just now in good practice, and have got 
 Bach, Beethoven, Chopin and Liszt well at my finger-ends. Be sure 
 answer me here in any case till you hear further from me about Berlin. 
 I have unfortunately not received the Journal des Debats, which interests 
 me far more than the musical paper. As you are so good as to bestow 
 such things as these on me, I beg you will send me every article of Berlioz 
 as quickly as possible. As for musical papers, please look at the sommaire 
 (contents) first, and then decide whether you think they will interest me. 
 Send me also, when there is an opportunity, a few numbers of the comic 
 papers Corsaire and Figaro. They take Charivari here, but it has gone 
 down very much and become monotonous. 
 
 When will the performance of Berlioz' ' Trilogie Sacre"e ' take place 1 
 What is the name of the concert in which it is to be heard ? 
 
 You are mistaken in thinking that the Princess's letter to Liszt's 
 daughters is not so good an introduction as a letter from their father. 
 Quite the contrary, and for this reason. The children's governess (a 
 Madame Patersi, I believe) was the governess of the Princess Witt- 
 genstein herself, and possesses her entire confidence ; has indeed been 
 put into this very situation by her. 
 
 Have you called on Liszt's mother ? Do pay a little attention to the 
 old lady, with whom you can talk German because she would very much 
 like to be settled in Austria. Let Liszt's daughters (Erlking's 
 daughters ?), whom I beg you to describe most accurately to me, take 
 you to see her. 
 
 Your little lecture which was called forth by my wish for the 
 ' Oorde sensible,' has amused me immensely. Here is the explanation 
 of the riddle. The old Frau von Kamienska wished to let her daughter 
 sing this Komance, which she knows, and which could not be got in 
 Dresden, and she begged me to procure this horreur for her. This is 
 why I want you to send the wretched thing to Mamma in Dresden. 
 
 And even though the music of this Romance is really so uncommonly 
 common and trivial, still I must beg you to send another copy of it to 
 me immediately. I then get by heart this little affair of one of my 
 pupils, whom I also occasionally "Schurigle"* in singing, and that 
 will then give much pleasure to her Papa who cares only for that sort of 
 music. So there ! 
 
 Here is a list of music for Mrs. Joy, with my most respectful regards. 
 
 * AD allusion to Isidore's early singing-master, named Schurig.
 
 224 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 What you write of her interests me, and although you have often been 
 enthusiastic about many women, this liking, I know not why, seems to 
 me more reasonable and likely to last. 
 
 If Paris suits your health so well, why do you write to Mamma 
 about returning ? You should try to acquire a little more of the French 
 ease in society (how often have I insisted on this !), and to find out the 
 peculiarities, I mean the good side of the people, and bring out that side. 
 Madame Berlioz must have her good side too. 
 
 Will you go tomorrow straight into the second room of the Louvre and 
 send me every bit of print that you think worth sending. Say all that is 
 nice to Berlioz ; ask him whether I shall arrange the Overture to the 
 ' Roman Carnival ' for four hands once more it has been badly done by 
 Pixis ; and say I shall be glad if he will employ me for the Overture to 
 the ' Corsair,' as such a piece of work, especially here, would be an 
 amusement to me. 
 
 Ask him also how much my first concerts in Paris would be likely 
 to cost me, where I ought to play first, etc., and tell me everything 
 exactly as he has said it to you. By this you will be doing me a great 
 service ! I will not forget the commission to the Arnims. 
 
 Farewell for today, beloved sister; be very sensible, give up that 
 hankering after impossibilities which don't exist : then your life will be 
 easier and more joyous. 
 
 TO FRANZ LISZT. 
 
 CHOCIESZEWICE, 20th November 1854. 
 
 MY VERY DEAR AND ILLUSTRIOUS MASTER, 
 
 How good you are ! A thousand thanks 
 
 for this little chef-d'oeuvre of a manuscript which you have granted 
 in response to my indiscreet request. Frankly, I would just as soon, or 
 rather, I would prefer to, keep it for myself . . . this autograph, which 
 is the most realty autograph, since every note bears the characteristic 
 imprint of the style of your last period. It has such an exquisite 
 delicacy, such a subtle grace ! But ... as I asked for it for Mile, de 
 Kamienska, who is not without deserving such a favour as an encourage- 
 ment to her good intentions, I shall have the honesty to send it to her, 
 with the delightful tidings that you will go and see her during your next 
 stay at Dresden. She, however, already enjoys the pleasure of knowing 
 you ; for she, with her mother, was one of those at the supper at the 
 ' Hotel de Baviere/ which followed the first performance of the sublime
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BEKLIN. 225 
 
 horror, of the poor chef-d'oeuvre, which is almost unknown under the 
 name of the opera ' Genovefa.' 
 
 Excuse me if I refer to the allusion you make, in your very kind 
 letter, to a second autograph which you thought of sending by the same 
 opportunity ; without wishing to be importunate 1 confess that I tremble 
 at the idea that it may have been lost ; for the envelope (addressed, as 
 it seemed to me, by Hoplit's hand) only contained one, " 1'appassionato," 
 in F sharp major. 
 
 The prospect of a performance of my two orchestral pieces under 
 your conducting has given me, and still gives me, many happy moments. 
 I have written to Dresden to tell them to send you the new score of the 
 Overture to ' Caesar,' together with the orchestral parts, which are fairly 
 correct, with the exception of a few slight errors in the parts for the 
 first horn and the second clarinet. You did receive the orchestral parts 
 of the Fantasia some time ago, did you not ? 
 
 How glad I should be to hear that this last piece, after its re- 
 petition, seems to you capable of producing some effect on the hearer ! 
 Would it interest you to cast your eye over a few lines that Wagner has 
 written to me about this last score ? If so, I will send them to you. In 
 spite of much indulgence and kindness, his last word is not as favourable 
 as yours. The chief thing with which he reproaches me of making 
 cacophonous harmony brought forth, however, a humble protest from 
 me against his accusation that I had departed from the serious side of 
 art with a frivolous indifference, by striking home at " PeliStim. " * to the 
 verge of eccentricity (Ohrfeigen fur feige Ohren a box on the ears for 
 the ears of cowards). I do think, nevertheless, that he is right in finding 
 much fault with the last but one chord of the seventh (or rather, the 
 triad with the diminished fifth : f $ a c, for the d # is an anticipation), 
 on which the crescendo works up to its climax on the final harmony of 
 the tonic. Are you also of opinion that it would be better to change 
 this harmony into that which I employ at the beginning of the intro- 
 duction 1 1 
 
 Have you glanced at the manuscript of the duet from ' Tannhauser ' ? 
 Will you be so kind as to give me your opinion sometime, without 
 restriction ? 
 
 * " PeliStim," an Old Testament expression for "Philistine." Raff, with the 
 intention of composing, as he afterwards did, an opera 'Samson,' to which he 
 himself wrote the text, was at that time studying the Hebrew language ; and some 
 expressions from that language were employed in joke by the young artists. 
 
 t Probably the Symphonic Poem, which was afterwards worked up and published 
 under the title of ' Nirwana,' is here meant. In the present form of the work the 
 passage above referred to does not exist. 
 
 P
 
 226 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 It is possible that I may yet succumb to the temptation to give some 
 concerts in Berlin this winter. In that case I shall go there not later 
 than in a week or a fortnight from now. Johanna Wagner has several 
 times offered to make an exception in favour of my concerts, by singing 
 at them. Would you allow me to play in Berlin your ' Caprice Turc,' 
 supposing that I have the advantage of an orchestra to accompany it ; and, 
 in that case, might I ask you to be so good as to send the orchestral parts 
 to Schlesinger ? I myself have the score, as well as that of the Hungarian 
 Rhapsody. I venture to submit to you herewith the repertoire from 
 which I shall draw. I have only chosen pieces that I know perfectly 
 well by heart. 
 
 The six weeks that I have just been spending in an exile which 
 would be intolerable in the long run, have at least been of advantage 
 to my playing of piano and billiards. The business of schoolmaster 
 reacts so strongly on my nerves, that it renders me incapable of any 
 serious work. When I am a little more inured to it by habit I hope it will 
 be different. I have just given my 104th lesson, and I assure you that, 
 with my nature of a great pedant (great only as a pedant), it is a perfectly 
 servile task to make the same individuals study, for four weeks without 
 interruption, pieces suited to their respective capacities such as the 
 ' Hirondelles ' of Willmers, the ' Tarantelle ' of Dohler, and Strauss' 
 Quadrille from ' Martha,' the favourite piece of " Papa." 
 
 "flfaut que fempeche mon cerveau de moisir" as Macchiavelli says; 
 and it is just with this object that I shall make excursions, whether for 
 pleasure or business, from time to time : it goes without saying, that I 
 reckon my concert-tours among the latter. Country life in winter offers 
 few charms, especially in that part of the Grand-Duchy of Posen which 
 is as little favoured by nature as it is possible to imagine ; a land uni- 
 formly flat, without a suspicion of a hill as far as the eye can reach. 
 Although the castle is not yet emptied of its more or less passing guests, 
 yet I have not met one person with whom I should have been tempted 
 to form a closer acquaintance. It is not, however, that I have not met 
 there some very comme il faut people, such, for instance, as Mr. de 
 Stablewski, Count Potworowski and his family, and Count de Wodzicki, 
 whose wife is the sister of Prince Sulkowski. As to X., he is a toady, 
 something between a butcher-boy and a hairdresser's assistant. 
 
 I am encroaching on your precious moments by gossiping in a way 
 that will perhaps prove to you that my brain has already begun to "moisir." 
 
 Thank you for the letter which introduced my sister to your daughters. 
 My sister writes me word that Berlioz' ' Trilogie Sacre"e ' will be given at 
 a coming concert, and also that, at the opening of the Exhibition, an 
 Overture which he has composed expressly for it will be played.
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 227 
 
 Will you let me have news of you again very soon, dearest Master, 
 either direct, or else through Hoplit, who does not condescend to corre- 
 spond with me any more : I am so anxious to hear something about 
 ' Faust,' and a thousand other objects of lesser importance. 
 
 . TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 CHOCIESZEWICE, 25th November 1854. 
 
 BELOVED MOTHER, 
 
 I have received your letters; but, as is usually the case 
 with the wretched postal arrangements, sometimes 4 and indeed 6 days 
 after they have reached Kroben. 
 
 I have now decided to set out this, Saturday, afternoon via Posen, 
 where Tyszkiewicz is stopping, on whom I shall call early tomorrow 
 morning, as he could perhaps be helpful to me for a concert to be given 
 there later on. 
 
 I wrote to Johanna Wagner ten days ago, also to Rellstab, begging 
 them to announce my coming. 
 
 Schlesinger and Kisting, whose grand piano I shall use, also already 
 know of my coming. 
 
 There were indeed other reasons for my irresolution and delay as 
 regards the journey to Berlin than that of my innate procrastination, 
 which I have conquered. I am always in extremes at one time tre- 
 mendously courageous, at another endlessly apathetic and dejected. And 
 now for the chief thing money ! 
 
 The Count, who was recently elected for the first Chamber, but still 
 awaits the King's ratification of it, will likewise come to Berlin towards 
 the 1st of December. He was at the ball the day before yesterday, and 
 bought two horses from Sulkowski for 1000 reichsthaler. The same 
 night a daughter was born, and now we cannot either play the piano or 
 play at 'billiards for some time to come, and it is extremely horrid in this 
 Polish desert. 
 
 On Tuesday I had to pay the quarterly tax of 1 reichsthaler 20 
 silbergroschen ! In order to get my passport I had to send an express 
 messenger at my own expense to Kawicz, 3 miles distant. These are 
 not the only pleasures I have had of that kind. For the last week I 
 have been execrating the laundress, who always keeps me waiting, and 
 has now given me the slip. Contemptible rural life ! Vile country ! 
 Worthless existence ! 
 
 Excuse the shocking writing ; I did not want to write till I was quite
 
 228 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 certain about setting off. For the first and second days I shall have to 
 put up at a great hotel (Meinhardt's Hotel). I assure you from ex- 
 perience this expense is unavoidable ; I have to do it. After as short a 
 stay as possible I shall try, if the plan of giving a concert seems not too 
 risky, to find a cheap lodging, and shall first inquire of [Tieck's] 
 Friederike. 
 
 If I can neither play at Court nor in the theatre (where I can 
 command acoustic arrangements suitable for pianoforte-playing) I shall 
 go back again to Chocieszewice after a few days, so as not to waste 
 money unnecessarily. I hope that it will not be so bad as Schlesinger 
 most discouragingly describes. Should that be the case then I shall 
 come to Dresden at Christmas for a few days, to recover my spirits. 
 
 I must once again hear some music, something else than my own 
 everlasting practising ! 
 
 I will write to you about Berlin as soon as I have anything to 
 tell you. 
 
 I am curious how it will fare with me this time ! Please forgive the 
 wretched hasty scrawl, in writing which it just occurs to me to say that 
 Isidore wrote me a long letter a week ago, to which I replied at once. 
 
 Farewell meanwhile, dear good mother. 
 
 Many thanks for the credit note to Ernst, of which, alas, I shall soon 
 have to make use. 
 
 Liszt has long heard from me ! 
 
 Long in both senses. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 BERLIN, 30th November 1854. Evening. 
 
 BELOVED MOTHER, 
 
 I ought, as the proverb says, to have " sought an honest 
 living " in the country, instead of going out into the world, where I shall 
 have to go through the old experiences again. 
 
 What an abominable journey have I had, and spent two nights and 
 a day and a half over it ! 
 
 And, if I had not given the postillions and guard enormous tips on 
 the way from Lissa to Glogau, I should have had the pleasant prospect 
 of spending another night in Glogau, as I had already been obliged to 
 do in that little Polish hole Gostyn. 
 
 The consequence is that the very first time I went out, by the help 
 of the raw stormy snowy air of the Berlin weather, I caught a shocking
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 229 
 
 influenza cold, which has been getting worse ever since the day before 
 yesterday. I think it has come to a climax today, and I hope that by 
 tomorrow I may venture out again on foot to make some of my countless 
 calls. 
 
 It is impossible that, among pianists, there can be a man more 
 worried than I am. 
 
 Frau Schumann at present unaccompanied by Joachim arrives on 
 the same day as I. She gives her first concert on the 4th of December. 
 There are no others here at present with whom I could clash. 
 
 Hiilsen, to whom I sent my card at once, requesting to know when I 
 might call on him, showed me very scant courtesy. He is strikingly like 
 the picture of him in the Tannhauser-caricature in K ladder adatsch, 
 which I must reproach myself with not having, after all, told him. 
 
 Countess Db'nhoff has not yet sent a word, although I begged her to 
 let me know when I could call upon her. Count Kedern has received 
 my card and has not yet answered it. That is more excusable, because 
 the Court wedding-festivities occupy him very much. 
 
 Friederike Schwabhauser (Wilhelmstrasse 43 B) was very pleasantly 
 surprised by news of you, but had not, alas, a single room at liberty. 
 
 I have looked round but found nothing. I am stopping for the 
 present in Meinhardt's Hotel, unter den Linden No. 68, 3rd etage, 
 where it does not seem to be so immoderately dear. Especially with my 
 present indisposition it would be risky to move. 
 
 Johanna Wagner, who had replied, giving me every encouragement 
 to come at once, was recently very friendly, repeated all her amiable 
 promises to me, and said she had spoken with Meyerbeer and Count 
 Redern about my collaboration in the Court concert, but had only 
 received evasive replies. Moreover the Court was largely represented 
 at yesterday's Court concert (in the white hall), and the performers had 
 the pleasant prospect of accompanying the card-playing and conversation 
 with music. Countess Kamieiiska was equally polite, and naturally 
 grateful for Liszt's interesting manuscript. 
 
 Among my acquaintances here, Kroll and others, none have as yet 
 found it worth the trouble to come and return my call. Herr v. Kolb 
 alone visits me frequently, accompanies me on my walks, and takes me a 
 little out of my very depressing loneliness. 
 
 I have found a grand piano today (by Eck in Cologne a rich-toned 
 instrument) ; Kisting had nothing in stock. I have already called on 
 Rellstab, Truhn, Marx, and Frau Zimmermann. The former had 
 yesterday announced my arrival by a mere line. In his own personal 
 opinions he is moreover a bull-dog. I never yet heard anyone speak 
 with sach contempt of people like Spontini and Berlioz (especially the
 
 230 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 former) as he did today. I must get a forbearing drum to my ear. 
 After I had racked my brains for several days as to whether I should do 
 better and be wiser to go back again to Chocieszewice, I have resolved to 
 give no heed to these suicidal emotions, and have nerved myself for a 
 concert next "Wednesday. 
 
 Bote and Bock will manage the affair. 
 
 I engage Liebig's orchestra (which Madame Schumann also engages 
 and which, as Eellstab and all the others tell me, gives almost as good 
 Symphony-soirees as the permanent orchestra) and the hall of the 
 Academy of Singing. I am obliged to pay both beforehand 75 and 
 50 thaler, i.e. 125 thaler. I shall have two Overtures played, and shall 
 myself play the Beethoven Concerto, and a manuscript of Liszt's with 
 accompaniment. Johanna Wagner has faithfully promised me to sing 
 twice. The total expenses will amount to about 150 thalers. 
 
 In no other way can I give a concert in Berlin, that is, if I am to 
 make my debut here in a proper manner, not unworthy of myself. May 
 I now borrow the 100 thalers from Ernst, as you kindly told me to do ? 
 Does he know about it? 
 
 If I do not get through, I shall not make another attempt. To- 
 morrow I am writing to Marpurg (Conductor of the theatre-orchestra in 
 Kbnigsberg) and to Tyszkiewicz in Posen, to ask whether I could give a 
 concert there, with the arrangements for which they would help me. 
 
 If the worst comes to the worst I shall at any rate have enough to 
 get back to Chocieszewice. My head is in a whirl, as if driven by a 
 wind-mill. What racing about, and what expenditure of time and 
 money, are before me ! 
 
 But, in fine, it has become a fixed idea with me to risk an orchestral 
 concert in Berlin, to let myself be properly heard in the city where, 
 above all others, I should have to seek my public. 
 
 If I could only first get rid of this terrible cough and cold, which 
 are really dreadfully bad this time. 
 
 You must help me this once more ! It shall be the last time, and 
 then I will patiently do my self-worryings round about in Posen or 
 aitteurs. I am, then, so unscrupulous as to ask for the 100 thalers 
 which you promised me. Either, or ! But to go away from here again, 
 intimidated, would be too inglorious. At least one must make the 
 attempt ! Concerts in aid of the sufferers from the floods, which seemed 
 the only way to get anything out of Berlin, and which have abounded 
 up to the present time, now seem to be falling off. 
 
 Please send to me here the Caesar and all the parts belonging to it, 
 etc., as soon as possible. As I have to pay the orchestra I shall allow 
 myself that amusement.
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 231 
 
 Stahr is here, but ill, and could not see me when I called lately. 
 
 Frau Schumann plays this week in Breslau. I have not yet seen 
 her ; Bargiel will go with me to her. He seems to like me very much, 
 and also to be touched by my real interest in him. 
 
 Write to me at once, beloved mother ; forgive my bad writing and 
 disorderly style. 
 
 I have been to see the Circus, and the ' Bummler von Berlin,' for a 
 little amusement, as no one has yet invited me. 
 
 The royal theatre and opera-house do not at the present time offer 
 any temptation. 
 
 I hope I shall be able to give you somewhat better news next time. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 BERLIN, 8th December 1854. 
 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 It is all over 36 hours ago. But I did not write to 
 you yesterday because I wanted to wait for the criticisms, and because 
 the Kamienska (my good angel) is starting for Dresden at mid-day 
 today, and will give you verbally her own views and outpourings about 
 my concert, together with mine. Hers may and will appear, in part, 
 rosier than mine. 
 
 Comfort yourself, however, before you read this letter, by my assur- 
 ance that I am in a good humour and full of satisfaction with myself, 
 which is the principal thing. 
 
 D'abord . . . the financial side ; don't be alarmed ! The expenses 
 amount to 160 reichsthalers : 38 tickets at 1 reichsthaler were sold; I 
 have therefore 122 to pay. 
 
 Vieuxtemps has had to pay altogether 300 reichsthalers out of his 
 own pocket for his three concerts here. Cela revient au meme. 
 
 You have made a great sacrifice for me ; but I must tell you that I 
 accept it without remorse. 
 
 I played very well, with immense steadiness, and to the satisfaction 
 of all the more talented connoisseurs. 
 
 The first criticism appeared yesterday evening in the Kreuzzeitung. 
 It was an excellent one, and as the King reads that paper he must read 
 the whole column (which is a pretty ample one for the "feuilleton " of 
 this paper), and thus must observe, and possibly become curious about, 
 my name and talent. One result.
 
 232 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 I have just this moment got the Tante Voss, which I had sent for. 
 Rellstab has eaten his own words. He inveighs against my performance 
 of the E flat major Concerto, which I played in a masterly manner, and 
 cuts me up, with egards. He does not allow that I had any delicacy or 
 expression in the Adagio, whereas it was just these two attributes that 
 moved my friends to tears, as they assured me with heartfelt emotion 
 after the concert. 
 
 Truhn predicted this transformation beforehand. He assured me 
 that Rellstab has gone mad, and that in all his recent criticisms he rides 
 to death the idea of "aberrations." This prophetie was so true that 
 Truhn won two bottles of champagne from someone with whom he had a 
 bet about it after the concert. I am delighted at that ! Johanna 
 Wagner also comes in for her share of " aberrations." 
 
 Kossak, the most dreaded of all the critics, the most able, the 
 wittiest of them all, who reports for Konigsberg, Breslau, Cologne, etc., 
 was, on the other hand, delighted, and, in spite of his being most 
 tremendously busy, he has begged me to play to him privatim next 
 Sunday. I am very much pleased at this. 
 
 Madame Schumann was so un-colleague-like as to advertise her big 
 soiree with Joachim, which is to take place on the llth, on the very 
 day of my concert. 
 
 Of course I cannot give a second concert now, just at Christmas-time, 
 and indeed no second one at all, unless Joachim were to be so amiable 
 as to play with me, which is possible, if he has not too completely allied 
 himself with Clara Schumann. Perhaps also Vivier * will play for me. 
 The expenses of a concert sans orchestre would be 50 to 75 reichsthalers, 
 according to the room. 
 
 Stahr will write about me, first in the Weimar'sche Zeitung, and then 
 somewhere else. Bruno Bauer was quite delighted with my playing of 
 Bach. Emil Naumann paid me some enthusiastic compliments, of course 
 not genuine, but still he could not help making them. 
 
 At the rehearsal I played, in fact, almost better. The Liebig orchestra, 
 who supported me very well, put down their instruments after every 
 piece, and applauded me with great warmth. People said things to me 
 which it warmed my heart to hear. 
 
 Kullak, and others also, have strongly advised me to go to Posen : I 
 shall therefore take the necessary steps to bring this about. 
 
 Johanna is an angel ! You would have kissed and hugged her, if 
 you had seen her with me I mean, if you had seen how she was 
 with me. 
 
 * A horn player.
 
 DRESDEN CHOC1ESZEWICE BEKLIN. 233 
 
 Both your letters I have received. A thousand thanks for all 
 your love. 
 
 Half an hour before the concert I got a dear, dear letter from Liszt, 
 by which I felt myself raised and strengthened to an uncommon degree. 
 
 I cannot tell you how much good it does me to have the hearty 
 sympathy of all the young artists here whom I respect, and for whose 
 opinion I care. It makes quite a different man of me. I have here 
 so many friendly relations with people who live in the same element as 
 myself, and who, by their greater repose and intelligent self-command, 
 act in a most beneficial and not exciting manner on me. 
 
 Marx invited me lately to dine with him ; he then made me, half 
 and half, the most remarkable proposals : Kullak is leaving the Con- 
 servatoire, and I am to think it over whether I will take his post as 
 Piano Professor. 
 
 It is not a Government, but a semi-official musical, appointment, 
 pecuniarily fluctuating. Nevertheless it is worth considering. 
 
 It would be more likely to lead to something, than playing the 
 schoolmaster in the country in Poland. Today or early tomorrow I shall 
 go to him. I will write to you more definitely within 24 hours. 
 
 Now I must make haste to finish my letter. Spener's paper, and the 
 ministerial papers, give me, on the one side, high praise, and on the 
 other a slap in the face, only not a la Vienna press. 
 
 The Nationalzeitung will have its long article in tomorrow, written 
 by the blind Gumprecht, an enormously clever and kindly musical critic. 
 
 The concert has come to 132 reichsthalers, and not 122, as I have 
 just learnt from Bock. 
 
 Two letters have just this moment reached me from University 
 friends of mine, one of whom is referendary in Dantzig, and the other 
 in Posen. Possibly these two old friends may be able to help me in 
 what I eventually undertake. 
 
 I have caught a little cold, and have a cough. 
 
 Tomorrow morning I will write to you again, so please be satisfied 
 with these hasty lines for today. If you only knew how wearied to 
 death I have been all this time on Tuesday I had to drive about the 
 town for 3 hours you would not take it amiss that I have not been able 
 to look about any further for private rooms. 
 
 Farewell, beloved mother ! 
 
 More anon, and, it is to be hoped, more definite news. 
 
 When does Giacomo come back here ?
 
 234 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER 
 
 BERLIN, 11th December 1854. 
 
 BELOVED MOTHER, 
 
 I shall very likely have to leave here soon and go back 
 to Posen, because I am spending such an enormous amount of money here. 
 But at any rate the result of it has been that I have enjoyed eight very 
 pleasant, almost unclouded, days. 
 
 Every hour I expect news from Kbnigsberg telling me whether I can 
 play in the theatre there, which is more desirable even than in Breslau 
 where Clara Schumann also gave her two concerts in the theatre. 
 
 Do not expect me to write to you in an orderly manner I am so ex- 
 cessively preoccupied by all sorts of things, and have so very little time. 
 In the early morning hours I have calls from young artists and friends, 
 who are so good as to bring me the latest-published favourable articles 
 about me. Truhn wrote lately really enthusiastically about me, and 
 turned the comparison provoked by Frau Schumann to my advantage- 
 A very witty critic, who himself edits his paper, Phonix, has today noted 
 down a lot of little particulars about me, partly absurd and partly inter- 
 esting. As Dr. Klein is a friend of Johanna Wagner's, she will probably 
 send this paper to the Kamieriska, and you are sure to hear it read there. 
 
 I have left a card for Meyerbeer, begging him to fix a time when I 
 can see him. 
 
 Joachim was very pleasant to me at yesterday's concert, and came 
 constantly to my seat where I was applauding the Schumann, and talked 
 to me during the intervals. She played the Kreutzer sonata roughly, 
 but, on the other hand, played a great pianoforte piece by Schumann with 
 such understanding, so much tone and energy, that I was really quite lost 
 in admiration. I believe I must not think of a second concert just now. 
 Joachim will have to play with Frau Schumann once more, and by that 
 time Christmas will be upon us. 'Tis a pity, a pity, a pity ! We two 
 should have done more with the Beethoven sonata here also ; it went far 
 better that time in Erfurt. 
 
 The answers from Kb'nigsberg, and about the Court concert here, are 
 the two matters which, on the ground of expediency, still detain me. 
 
 Next Thursday I am to be proposed at the " Liedertafel " and 
 accepted, as an honorary member. This society in particular gives me 
 now already an incitement to composition. But in provincial towns, 
 Dresden and the like, and in Chocieszewice whence can one get encour- 
 agement for practical work ? 
 
 I had a few words lately with Marx. He seemed to avoid mentioning
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 235 
 
 the subject of my last letter, which rather confirms the report, which has 
 reached me from various quarters, that Frau Schumann will occupy the 
 third place at the Conservatoire, between Stern and Marx, in place of 
 Kullak. 
 
 Yesterday morning I played at Dr. Fiirst's where they were, more- 
 over, very polite to me. Dr. Kossak had begged me to play Liszt's later 
 compositions to him at his room. 
 
 Now for the most interesting thing I have to tell you, which comes 
 late because, with my confused brain, the pen mechanically outruns the 
 thoughts. 
 
 On Friday evening I found an invitation to Count Kedern, to go at 
 9 o'clock next morning to hear the band of 80 men play the military music 
 composed by him for the torch-dancing in his entrance hall. I go in a 
 plain coat " sans fapon." Who should be sitting in the breakfast-room 
 but the Prince of Prussia Prince Friedrich, his son Prince George, and a 
 Prince of Mecklenburg ! I was introduced to them all, and talked with 
 them for some time. At the conclusion of the military spectacle I was 
 requested to play something to them in the drawing-room. The Prince of 
 Prussia had, alas, already taken his leave. At the instigation of Prince 
 George, who is a very cultivated musician and moreover delightfully 
 amiable in conversation, I played the 'Patineurs,' and made a great 
 effect with it. Their Highnesses stood round the grand piano, where I 
 was obliged to repeat some of the most " incredible " passages, to their 
 astonishment. 
 
 I received your letter yesterday, Tuesday, morning, but, alas, not much 
 good news in it. The way you write to me about Joachim and Clara 
 Schumann has hurt me. I had unfortunately behaved rather haughtily 
 to the latter quite without intention, and she had felt so injured by it 
 that Joachim made friendly remonstrances to me, and I determined to 
 do all I possibly could to make up for my involuntary error. 
 
 I think I may assume that on the receipt of my letter you will think 
 differently about these things from what you did when writing to me. 
 
 " Die ignobelsten F&inde des Menschen : Neid und Furcht " (the most 
 ignoble enemies of mankind ; Envy and Fear) ; these often attack me 
 also ; but I have always victoriously subdued them by my best inner 
 forces. And, though quite determined to make my way without looking 
 back, still I shall never make use of any means for which I should have 
 to blush before my old friends, and I assure you I have kept none but 
 the most honourable people as my friends.* 
 
 * What kind of remarks are here referred to is shown in a letter of his mother's 
 to Isidore at that time. 
 
 '' Joachim is playing with Frau Schumann in Berlin! Hans is, nevertheless,
 
 236 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 Yesterday I went to see Meyerbeer, who had fixed the morning at 
 12 o'clock for my call. "We talked freely and pleasantly for three 
 quarters of an hour. He also promised, in the event of his own absence, 
 to ensure my being invited to the great Court concert of the Carnival, 
 probably in January. It was moreover very possible that a Court 
 concert would be arranged for in the course of a few days. (That would 
 certainly be more immediately pleasant to me.) But he said that these 
 matters are usually ordered so " a I'improviste " (on the spur of the 
 moment), that very often he was only told about it himself the evening 
 before. He is just now rheumatic and cannot leave his room. 
 
 I went to see Count Redern in the morning. He said he had spoken 
 of me to their Majesties on Sunday, and that they are quite disposed to 
 hear me. Patience then ; but I cannot delay my journey after Tuesday. 
 On Monday I will, if possible, hear Roger, whose talent as yet I only 
 know from report. 
 
 You may as well read the Vossische. * Someone told me yesterday 
 that Rellstab, in spite of many criticisms in it, speaks of me as "standing 
 alone among the modern virtuosi." 
 
 Today I dine with Ernst, and play beforehand with Charlotte von 
 Billow. At 4 o'clock I must go to a Symphony concert of Liebig (the 
 Hiinerfiirst of Berlin only more so whose orchestra lately accom- 
 panied me), to hear the Prize-Symphony by Ulrich t (Dehn's pupil, a 
 friend of Cornelius). Joachim goes with me. (Tickets, 5 silber- 
 groschen, no smoking.) This evening I shall go to the play, where 
 Calderon's ' Medico de su honra ' will be done ; and then to a party at 
 the house of Geheimrathin Storch, who gave away the complimentary 
 tickets I sent her, and paid for her seats, which I think was decidedly 
 nice of her. 
 
 Why have not you sent me the music to ' Caesar ' ? It is true I 
 should not have performed it, but I should have played the score to my 
 friends. Can you still do so 1 
 
 Also, Johanna has promised Prince George Wagner's ' Nibelungen,' 
 which I lent to Helene. Has Helene given you the book back ? If so, 
 be so good as to send it to me by return. If Helene still has it, 
 Johanna's order to return it directly will soon reach her. 
 
 I received lately from Isidore a letter 20 pages long. I am glad I 
 complied with your wish and have written to her frequently. It has at 
 
 splendid ; so noble, so great in character and spirit, that I am the more hurt 
 about it." 
 
 * The Vossische Zeitung. 
 
 t Professor of Composition at Stern's Conservatoire.
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 237 
 
 any rate had a good influence upon her ; it has stimulated and animated 
 her. 
 
 I am learning by degrees, in Macchiavellian fashion, to make the 
 reverses which I meet useful to me. But it would he impossible, with 
 the best intentions, to tell you more fully the details of my life here. 
 
 I shall go today to see Stern, who expressed his esteem for me in a 
 letter of " Alberti "-an * courtesy the day before yesterday, with apologies 
 for not having yet thanked me personally for the tickets, as he is 
 confined to his bed. 
 
 Joachim is still a splendid fellow. I suspect that he no longer 
 takes a fee from Frau Schumann, any more than Johanna does from me 
 for her assistance. The latter really grows more beautiful, more ideal- 
 looking every day. In her morning neglige* yesterday, her hair im- 
 prisoned in curl-papers, she looked so charming that I could hardly help 
 falling on my knees. Clara Schumann is also, in her way, a really 
 beautiful and very remarkable woman. 
 
 Enough for today, so that you may not be kept waiting. How hard 
 it is to me to go back to Posen ! As hard as for a vestal virgin into 
 the open grave ! 
 
 Without black coffee, without any excitement, shall I be able to play 
 the piano thus as I ought to play it? Impossible. The critic of the 
 Nationalzeitung, who calls me Percy Hotspur, has likewise a different 
 opinion from yours. Lately I took coffee with Dr. Dohm, editor of 
 Kladderadatsch. He is a remarkable, assiduously good-natured person. 
 
 You ought surely to feel satisfied with my present style of letter. I 
 cannot now write differently. Fare thee well and without headache, 
 dear mother. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 BERLIN, 17 th December 1854. 
 DEAREST MOTHER, 
 
 Best thanks for your letter ! I have some news for you. 
 Professor Marx has this morning now definitively offered me a post of 
 first pianoforte teacher in the Conservatoire conducted here by himsel 
 and music-director Stern. 
 
 The contract, which I shall probably sign, is to be laid before me in 
 a few days. 
 
 * Presumably a running-stream of courteous expressions. 
 
 "Alberti- Bass," so named after Alberti (born in Venice 18th century), who 
 introduced a bass, consisting of broken chords, into compositions for the cembalo.
 
 238 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 The material advantages are very trifling, but that does not signify ; 
 for the private teaching which I shall be able to give in Berlin will, I 
 hope, amount to much more. 
 
 I have to begin on the 1st April, but ought to be here a week or a 
 fortnight earlier, so as to look into my work. I shall get 300 thalers for 
 the first year, and have to give 1| hours daily, making 9 hours a week. 
 That is in itself more worth having than Mycielski's compensation for 
 my tortures. 
 
 Kullak could not get on with either of them. 
 
 Marx is an authority to me ; I will willingly defer to him wherever 
 necessary ; we are moreover quite agreed on the chief points of musical 
 education. 
 
 If the thing comes to pass for one can neither know nor predict 
 what may happen then I shall at last have one foot in the stirrup, and 
 the beginning is made. 
 
 I think that, with self-restraint, and a Buonaparte-like tenacity and 
 energy of will, I am capable of getting on. It is true that you will have 
 to help me again at first, self-sacrificingly ; later on a rise of salary, and 
 indeed a considerable one, is guaranteed to me. 
 
 But now please have the kindness to send, after all, to the restaurant 
 of the Dresden theatre-orchestra, to get out the score and parts of my 
 Caesar Overture, and to address the packet to Liszt in Weimar, as he is 
 going to have it performed at a Stadthaus concert. 
 
 Tomorrow I shall at length get the answer from Beerenmayer as to 
 whether I can play at Court now, or not till January at the great Carnival 
 concert. 
 
 I must now stay here a few days longer, to arrange my immediate 
 future. It costs me money, but that can't be helped. Mycielski must 
 advance me the money for the return journey, or else but he will do it. 
 
 In January, moreover, I come here again for the great Court concert, 
 then to Dantzig and Konigsberg, where I can earn money to spend again 
 in giving concerts in Berlin. 
 
 Joachim gives up his position in Hanover because an intriguer there 
 has disgusted him with it. Disgraceful lot of fellow-beings ! 
 
 To make your mind easy, let me tell you that I have only seen Bruno 
 Bauer for about five minutes in all, in his very remote dwelling, whither 
 I went to take him two concert-tickets, because he is such an admirer of 
 Bach and Beethoven. 
 
 I shall go this evening to the Wilhelmstadt theatre, in order to calm 
 myself a little, and see ' die Bummler von Berlin.' 
 
 Frank was at my concert with his son. I have spoken with him a 
 couple of times in the street. Was very friendly.
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN. 239 
 
 Tomorrow I shall give a manuscript to a publisher, and hope I may 
 receive a considerable sum for it : ' Impromptu a la Mazurka,' dedie' u 
 Mile, la Comtesse Elisa Mycielska. 
 
 Make many excuses for me to Madame Laussot for having as yet sent 
 her no other answer than my concert-programme, which I was obliged to 
 settle definitely just when I got her letter. I owe her my thanks, for I 
 had almost the greatest success with the Bach, which I had really intended 
 to give at the second concert. 
 
 Farewell, dear mother ; my arm aches. Yesterday evening I sent 
 Clara Schumann a beautiful bouquet before her concert. Was not that 
 gallant ? 
 
 Send me the Nibelungen directly, and ditto the Caesar to Liszt ! 
 Please, please ! 
 
 The Arnims are certainly not in Berlin ! ! ! 
 
 Remember me to Fraulein Draseke ! 
 
 TO ALEXANDER HITTER. 
 
 CHOCIESZEWICE BEI KROBEN, 25th December '54. 
 
 DEAR SASCHA, 
 
 You have indeed long been my comfort, but if you were 
 ambitious enough to become still more so, I can now give you an excellent 
 opportunity. 
 
 Thus if there is anything in the fate of one, transplanted from the 
 life-stream of Berlin to this herring's-pond of Polish solitude, Willibald 
 Alexis, calculated to move you without the need of Anglo-frenchifying 
 my Ukase with my snuffing eloquence, then tie on the clogs of friend- 
 ship and put on the comforter of obligingness, and betake yourself first 
 and foremost to Cronstadt, not in order to breakfast there (as Napier 
 forgot to do from want of appetite), but (I mean) to Meinhardt's Hotel, 
 and ask the slow-coach at the door if any letters, etc., are awaiting me 
 there. If by this time the bad weather has not obliged you to change 
 your clothes, be so kind as to exchange the enclosed note at a neigh- 
 bouring stationer's (in case the post-office cannot) for 12 sheets of 
 long-shape music-paper for piano, five staves with a moderate space 
 between ; also a quire of letter-paper like this pattern, with somewhat 
 larger white or blue envelopes. Should you then have about 12 
 silbergroschen over, it would be uncommonly friendly of you to get me 
 a packet of Spiglasoffs, the only kind of cigars which I can allow myself 
 here.
 
 240 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 If you can grant my request, I want you simply to tie the paper, 
 cigars, and any letters from Meinhardt's Hotel together, and to send 
 them as quickly as possible by post to me in my Steppe, like an oasis in 
 my desert. 
 
 In this case be assured of my apostolic blessing, my hearty New 
 Year's wishes, my unbounded esteem, devotion, readiness to serve, and 
 musical well-wishing. The music-paper is the most important thing, as 
 in my spare time (which I hope will only last a fortnight) I wish and 
 am obliged to make some four-hand arrangements from Tannhauser for 
 Meser. 
 
 If you are writing to Carl do do so give my greetings and say I 
 will soon answer him. But beg him to send me as quickly as possible 
 2 or 3 copies at any rate 1, of the ' Alcibiades.' I shall be able to 
 make it known. 
 
 My warmest regards to your wife. Give a suitable message from me 
 to your gifted sister-in-law. Ask her if I may compose the sea of 
 waving corn for her, if I don't let the breakers roll too high. 
 
 My greetings to Berlin, and enjoy yourself there enough for both of 
 us. Is there any news from Weimar ? 
 
 Be sure not to prepay the parcel. It is a disgusting business with 
 the postal communication here. Write to me moreover about all sorts 
 of things. Get up a quarter of an hour earlier, for you will have plenty 
 of time before 10 o'clock to do and to leave undone everything possible. 
 Adieu. 
 
 Send me the KI adder adatsch Calendar too, if you have read it. I 
 will make some fun with it for an unhappy comrade here. 
 
 TO MADAME LAUSSOT. 
 
 CHOCIESZEWICE, 28th December 1854. 
 MY DEAR MADAM, 
 
 You have already shown me many kindnesses, 
 
 for which I, faithful to the natural disposition of a born egotistical 
 recipient, have not yet once thanked you. But the benefactor certainly 
 does not stick at that. And as my mother wrote, to my great joy 
 you have no doubt understood my indirect answer, which I printed in 
 the Berlin papers, to your kind letter.* Nothing could have happened 
 more " a tempo," for your excellent advice played into my hands like a 
 " host ex machina," just at the very moment when I was brooding over 
 
 * The public announcement of the concert-programme suggested by Madame 
 Laussot.
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BERLIN 241 
 
 the arranging of my programme ; and, though I had had tea for my 
 breakfast, in opposition to Moleschott, not a single drop of practical 
 spirit from the tea would pour from the sieve of my pen. 
 
 Possibly some of the Berlin criticisms about me may have come 
 under your notice, through my mother. In that case you will have 
 seen that it was my Bach, principally, that swelled the measure of 
 commendation given to me by the papers, and that the contrast with 
 the Chopin Ballade also answered a good purpose to me ; consequently 
 you will certainly have congratulated me for having followed your 
 counsel. But whether you will now finally allow me to give myself over 
 to a devout superstition, and to beg for your kind advice and good 
 wishes on another occasion this is a question which, indeed, it is not 
 for me to answer in the affirmative. 
 
 How much I am indebted to you that you have brightened up so 
 many hours for my dear mother by your delightful society. Not on my 
 mother's account alone, but on my own, am I indebted to you for this. 
 It seemed to me, in my correspondence with her latterly, that there 
 were many traces where, through the delicate insinuations of your 
 eloquence, some modifications had already crept into certain of her 
 views of art and of society, which had been so diametrically opposed to 
 mine. Now no one can have less talent and vocation for softening down 
 contrasts or opposition than I ; and how often I have wished, just in 
 living with my mother, that I had this faculty which is wanting in me. 
 Now as I am to enter into my new position in Berlin on the 1st April of 
 the coming year, and as my mother will also very probably settle in 
 Berlin next Easter, which would be a great satisfaction to me personally, 
 I like to think that you, dear Madam, have somewhat paved the way 
 for me in these matters ; for it is, of your own free choice, your special 
 mission to destroy prejudices, and in the home circle that final and 
 most snug resort of all sorts of unreasonable opinions to do this most 
 radically and effectually. When I saw you again the first time in 
 Dresden, you spoke to me about this very subject. I was struck by 
 your words at that time ; for I thought you only meant that you would 
 make an attempt you had not yet made, and I did not know that you 
 possessed the power of accomplishing it, and that it was the conscious- 
 ness of being able to do a thing that had led you to wish to do it. 
 
 I do not, however, altogether agree with your view about the " public," 
 although I acknowledge that yours is more normal, healthier, and more 
 objectively reasonable than my subjective feeling and opinion. 
 
 I have gradually learnt, not through the channel of the understanding, 
 but rather through my feelings, to renounce my reverent worship of the 
 " Spirit of Universality," of the god " Humanite* " of certain pantheistic 
 
 Q
 
 242 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 French Socialists and of Feuerbach who preceded them. Yes, I confess 
 it openly; I hate that ideal police-god just as without drawing a parallel 
 Voltaire persecuted the Nazarene God. 
 
 At present I am by belief an " Individualist," and, if I do not always 
 manifest it in action, I am all the more absolute and zealous in my theo- 
 retical impulses. In general I think we may give much more considera- 
 tion to our ideal aspirations in practice than in theory. A methodical 
 Idealism becomes coarse, heavy and measurable, and annihilates itself 
 where it does not become simply absurd. So I, for my part, confess in 
 theory to a feeling of respect only for that fraction of the " Spirit of 
 Universality " to which I myself belong. Now as regards the little I may 
 have accomplished in my Art, the value of which consists in undeniable 
 perfectibility alone ; and as regards my claims to a recognition of it by 
 the public, that is, by a handful of the " Spirit of Universality ; " I am 
 only susceptible to the influence of applause in moments of nervous phy- 
 sical excitement. In cooler moments the judgment of a mass of people 
 never exercises any attraction or influence upon me, however much I feel 
 the value of winning the sympathy of some of its individual members. 
 Every one of its manifestations has some sort of bribe to action. But 
 true Art never bribes, directly or indirectly. Were I not restrained, by 
 my individual subjectivity, from reducing my theory to practice, and had 
 I the means to do it, I would not hesitate a moment (supposing they were 
 able to do me the same service) to win over my audience in the same way 
 as Louis Napoleon won his French army. In acquiring those advantages 
 which admit of the individual's ceasing for a moment to ignore the "Spirit 
 of Universality," it is success alone which determines the excellence of 
 the means. You see I am a Jesuit also ; and you were afraid your advice 
 would seem Jesuitical to me ! But what says the Italian proverb ? 
 " Vincasi per fortuna o per iiiganno 
 II vincer fu sempre laudabil' cosa." 
 
 I have a peculiar predilection for Louis Napoleon ; that is to say, not 
 so much for his person as for the indigenous compendium of the 19th 
 century which he represents to me. As such he is a child, a result, of 
 the latest German philosophy, that is to say, of that which has become 
 rational through emancipation of itself. Buonapartism is a philosophical 
 system reduced to practice and to policy i.e. the Buonapartism of 1850 
 par excellence. But I have also, personally, a certain kindred leaning 
 towards " Napoleon le Petit." It seems to me that I, in my proportions 
 to Franz Liszt, my uncle by election, stand in a very similar relation to 
 that which Napoleon III. bore to the great Emperor ; and it pleases me 
 to think that the mentally-adopted nephew might perhaps have as much 
 luck, as he has little real genius, vis-a-vis of the uncle.
 
 DRESDEN CHOCIESZEWICE BEELIN. 243 
 
 For a first letter to you, it seems to me that I ought to make a post- 
 script of excuses for a heap of stupidities I have written. For the rest, 
 I imagined to myself what I have written above, solely with the view of 
 thereby evading, in a "good " manner, your friendly invitation to me to 
 tell you about my concert and all my other experiences in Berlin. Spare 
 me the description of miseries of the disagreeable, as well as of the 
 agreeable side, for that, in short, is the substance of all that I should have 
 to tell. 
 
 I have renewed, in Berlin, an interesting personal acquaintance with 
 Karl Lu'hrss, the composer, a pupil of Mendelssohn, who composes western 
 music. 
 
 Allow me to recommend to you the following of his compositions : 
 'Marchen,' kleine Tonstiicke; 3 books. Op. 25, Trautwein (Guttentag), 
 Berlin. ' Barcarole ' (G flat major) : and ' Trois Danses brillantes.' 
 Senff, Leipzig. I take this opportunity of mentioning to you also two 
 very important piano-pieces, by the composer Julius Schaeffer : ' Fan- 
 tasiestiicke ' Op. 1 ; and Fantasia ' Variationen ' (E minor) Op. 2, 
 Breitkopf & Hartel, Leipzig. 
 
 From Wagner I have heard nothing for a whole month. The last 
 time he wrote to me he said he had begun the third Act of the ' Walkiire,' 
 and he appeared to be freed from his most pressing difficulties. From 
 Liszt you have no doubt had news direct. A propos, Wagner has lately 
 become tremendously enthusiastic for Arthur Schopenhauer, the philo- 
 sopher so long ignored by his fraternity. Do you know any of his works ? 
 
 For the present of Alfred de Musset I thank you once more " en con- 
 naissance de cause" But, just in those selections you have marked, it 
 would be interesting to me to hear your opinion of them in detail. In 
 several of them the essential, main idea seemed to me to be so very slightly 
 connected with the otherwise charming form. 
 
 May I beg you to remember me most warmly to the Bitters ? Karl 
 wrote to me not long ago, but not a word about himself, and I had a 
 couple of delightful days with Sascha in Berlin. I am longing for the 
 time of my removal thither ; life in the country puts one dreadfully out 
 of tune, and a schoolmaster's functions in the country would hurry one 
 into one's dotage, or back into puerility, a thing from which a great city 
 preserves one. 
 
 Thank you once more, my dear lady, for the interest and kindness 
 you have shown me, and allow me to reciprocate your good wishes to 
 
 Yours most respectfully, 
 
 HANS v. BflLOw.
 
 BRESLAU POSEN BERLIN
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 BRESLA UPOSEN BERLIN. 
 
 WINTER SPRING 1855. 
 
 BULOW was now on the eve of leaving Chocieszewice again. In a letter 
 to his mother, from that place, dated 2nd January 1855, he says : 
 
 Next Saturday, 6th January, I go to Breslau, and shall play for the 
 first time in Truhn's concert. If they like me very much, then I shall 
 arrange matters with the theatre in the same way that Clara Schumann did. 
 
 The ensuing months seem to have been anxious ones for Billow's mother, 
 owing to the irregularity and scarcity of letters from her son. The following 
 extracts from the mother's letters to her daughter, who was still in Paris, show 
 how difficult it was for the young virtuoso to get so far in his profession as to 
 attain pecuniary independence. In spite of the great interest and pleasure he 
 awakened, in the long concert-tours in Germany which now ensued, yet 
 expenses were so great, and receipts as yet so insufficient, as to necessitate a 
 continuance of help from his self-sacrificing mother. 
 
 FRANZISKA VON BULOW TO HER DAUGHTER. 
 
 " At last comes a letter from Hans ! He still sticks at Breslau, but con- 
 tentedly lets himself be admired and dragged hither and thither to such a 
 degree that he never gets so far as to write a word to me. He still decides to 
 go to Konigsberg. Tonight he is playing to the students at Breslau. On 
 Sunday there is to be a monster-concert, at which he plays, and where he 
 hopes to make some money. God grant it, if one may trouble God about such 
 a thing." 
 
 In the middle of February the mother complains that the latest news of 
 her son has come to her only through the papers : tidings of a farewell-iuatin^e 
 in Breslau, and of a concert on the same day for the sufferers at Keuth. 
 
 " This, however, is all I know about him. What has happened next ; and 
 has he money, or has he none ? I fear it is the latter. To have such a child, 
 rushing about the world in all sorts of adventures, is truly no sinecure. As 
 our shoemaker lately said : ' The Heir Sohn has become a genius.' "
 
 248 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 On the 19th February she writes : 
 
 " At last a letter from Hans. He has given nine concerts in Breslau, and 
 has at least earned enough to pay his five weeks in the hotel. He has been 
 quite taken up there by the army, the cuirassiers, hussars, &c., and has been 
 constantly amongst them. Now he is in Posen, where he finds it terribly 
 cold. . . . If he only becomes reasonable at last ! He won't take any advice 
 from me. It is a great misfortune for him that he has lost his father, for he 
 did understand how to influence him. . . . He has only sent newspapers : 
 they give him great praise, but regret that the concerts were so empty." 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 POSEN, February 28, 1855. 
 
 DEAR MAMMA, 
 
 Thanks for your letters. I wanted to wait over the 
 third concert, yesterday, before writing to you. It was such a pity that 
 we did not get so far as the question of expenses. I despise the whole 
 Polish race to the n th power ! For the rest, it is a curious city, Posen ! 
 Such a separation as there is between the German and Polish elements 
 I never met before. The second concert, in which my singer became 
 hoarse, and so I had to play the piano for two whole hours, was hardly 
 attended by any but Poles the result being 69 thalers, which was 
 enough to cover the expenses of the two first concerts together. Yester- 
 day's audience was exclusively German (with the exception of Mycielski's 
 brother, who came over from his estate to hear me again, and is a 
 pleasant, well-bred, and musical man), headed by chief president von 
 Puttkammer, who conversed with me most amiably, and sent his card 
 today to invite me for Friday evening. Of course the concerts are 
 continuing ; we have to give 5 or 6 of them. 
 
 The Germans mostly pay nothing for concert tickets, but are very 
 lavish with invitations. Herr von Hindenburg, the chief of the police ; 
 Herr Buttendorf, the chief of the post office ; Justice Donniges, amongst 
 others, have delightful houses. 
 
 I once dined at Count Dzialynski's. Now I give daily lessons to the 
 youngest Countess, who is not a pretty girl, but very charming and full 
 of talent. I shall either take no fee or present her when I leave with 
 an extremely valuable album, because I like her so much. There is 
 something really poetical about her. I shall dedicate a Reverie to her. 
 The Kamienska is to have a "Waltz.
 
 BRESLAU POSEN BERLIN. 249 
 
 Explanation of enclosure No. 1. * 
 
 The Pole who signed the enclosed had heard that I was to teach the 
 Countess Dzialynska. Immediately, from a love of rivalry peculiar to the 
 Pole, he wishes his daughter to learn from me also. After his call I send 
 him a card on which is written " est dispose a donner des lepons pendant 
 son sejour a Posen a 1 ducat la le$on." Thereupon he answered thus I 
 of course took no notice of it : On a tour in hotels as a virtuoso I 
 could not according to Trulm possibly take less than one ducat an hour. 
 
 I have now considerably enlarged my Chopin-repertoire : 
 
 Ballade, two Scherzos, four Nocturnes, two Impromptus, two Polon- 
 aises, four Mazurkas, Barcarole, Berceuse, and various Etudes. 
 
 Truhn has just written to Bromberg, which is in every respect more 
 favourable than Posen, as he knows from experience. Only we must 
 get away from here first. Finally there would also be the theatre to 
 play in, to which the well-known conductor Wallner has invited us with 
 increasingly favourable conditions, but which we have, notwithstanding, 
 always refused. We must now leave this arrangement to Justice 
 Dbnniges. He is a very good sort of man takes concert- tickets even 
 when he is unable to use them. 
 
 Have you no indirect news from "Weimar? I should so like to 
 know whether Liszt has already set off for Vienna. 
 
 The Countess Dzialynska has just written to me that it will not be 
 possible for her to take a lesson before Saturday, as she has too much 
 else to do. I have refused the invitation for this evening, and shall 
 moreover go to no more Poles. 
 
 I am writing today to Professor Marx about the Conservatoire, and 
 will let you know his answer. 
 
 If I am going to be condemned to waste my life for a year in Berlin 
 I shall of course yield to my fate without complaining, only I shall 
 then be obliged to beg you to remove thither quickly. You must make 
 this sacrifice for me. My theoretical wits are not equal to undertaking 
 household matters. Moreover I must be very careful of myself all my 
 strength belongs to my art, and nothing else matters to me. 
 
 Our life here is uncommonly respectable. I have quite given up 
 going to the " Kneipe," even at the risk of being thought wanting in 
 good fellowship. And Truhn is also too much of a gentleman and too 
 particular for it. 
 
 Think lovingly of your son, 
 
 HANS VON BtfLOW, 
 
 " le plus enguignonne (unlucky) des pianistes." 
 
 * The enclosed letter, here referred to, which Billow gent to his mother, is no 
 longer extant.
 
 250 HANS VON BiiLOW. 
 
 TO FKANZ LISZT. 
 
 POSEN, 14th March 1855. Bazar.* 
 
 MY VERY DEAR AND ILLUSTRIOUS MASTER, 
 
 You have several times given me the precious permission 
 to write to you about myself. I have always tried not to abuse this 
 kindness, by not writing to you at times when I could only have told 
 you of the thousand and one miseries in the career of a Lilliputian 
 pianist, which would have sometimes appeared to you incomprehensible. 
 
 Nevertheless I have not been without a few agreeable weeks at 
 Breslau, where I gave about eight concerts in company with Mr. Truhn, 
 to whom I joined myself at the beginning of the New Year, and for 
 whom I feel a friendship which has been strengthened between us by 
 his own amiable qualities of a true artist and a practical and useful man, 
 as well as by our mutual sympathies in art. Breslau is a town which 
 might well have a certain musical future in the future. I do not say 
 this because I have found a publisher there, but in spite of this fact. 
 
 We did a very bad business at Posen, where we gave four concerts, 
 the latter ones of which did not even suffice to pay the expenses of this 
 unlucky undertaking. In spite of letters of introduction, by means of 
 which I thought I should have some success, the Poles were much less 
 kind to me than Mr. de Puttkammer and the few Germans who live at 
 Posen. I felt the Poles to be rather freezing ; but these impressions led 
 me nevertheless to respond to them in a manner quite in harmony with 
 anti-Mortier t principles, which I have continued to profess in my career, 
 and which I cannot reproach myself with ever having violated up to 
 now. After having given a passably good first concert at Bromberg on 
 Monday, the 12th March, I have returned to Posen, to play tonight in 
 the theatre, in a performance that the Poles have arranged for the 
 benefit of the poor. 
 
 I shall return to Bromberg in a few days, to give a second concert 
 there, which will be a much more brilliant one than the first. Then we 
 go again to Dantzig, and finally to Konigsberg. I should be very grate- 
 ful to you if you would have the kindness to give me an introduction to 
 Mr. Louis Kbhler. 
 
 On the 1st April I shall have to enter on my duties as professor at 
 the Conservatoire. I would give everything in the world to be able to 
 
 * The name of a hotel. 
 
 t Mortier de Fontaine (1816-1883), a soi-disant Beethoven-player, who attained 
 a passing celebrity by his great technique and also tremendous puffing. We are 
 unable to state what principles of Mortier's are here referred to.
 
 BBESLAU POSEN BERLIN. 251 
 
 set myself free from this engagement, which promises me but little satis- 
 faction. I have however a mission to fulfil in Berlin, and I shall use 
 every means to attain my object. A war of extermination against 
 " Mendelssohnianism";* that is what ought now to be the most pressing 
 business of the " coterie Brendel." In regard to this I have a very 
 urgent request to submit to you. I read the other day Robert 
 Schumann's article in the Neue Zeitschrift for the year 1837, in which he 
 draws an ignominious parallel between the ' Huguenots ' and ' St. Paul.' 
 I have been for some time past preparing an article in which I am 
 delighting to avenge somewhat the occasionally mud-stained poetry of 
 Meyerbeer, of the unjust respect which has been too long accorded to 
 the impertinentij-bourgeoise prose of Mendelssohn. Kot even the fear 
 that Hoplit, that most corruptible man, might in his amour-propre 
 proclaim me as his colleague, will be an obstacle in carrying out this 
 project : it, however, cannot be realised unless you were to be so very 
 kind as imperatively to authorise my article in embryo to "Tante 
 Brendel." t 
 
 For a long time I have been erroneously thinking that you had left 
 Weimar, about the middle of January, to go to Vienna or I know not 
 where. I think I remember Ritter having spoken to me of this 
 intention on your part, but with a certain amount of mystery. I cannot 
 tell you how I feel almost tortured by the longing to see you again and 
 to kiss your hand. I hope my holidays in the months of July and 
 August will enable me to come to wherever you may then be, if you will 
 allow it. 
 
 I shall venture to submit to you shortly some bagatelles for piano, 
 which are going to be published at Breslau, and in which your indulgent 
 eye will perhaps note a little progress, if you bear in mind the individual 
 difficulties I have to conquer in writing for your instrument. The piano 
 at those times seems to evade me, and becomes intractable when I 
 endeavour to express my ideas on it. It is true that it often has to com- 
 plain of the bad treatment it receives at my hands. But it is also true 
 that the thought of you, when it is vividly and persistently before anyone, 
 
 * It should be clearly understood that Billow's antipathy, which is here so 
 strongly expressed, is directed, not so much against Mendelssohn himself, as against 
 the immense over-rating of his works which was at that time so much in fashion, 
 and which especially provoked all the adherents of the new school to strong 
 antagonism. It is well known how, in later years, when a reaction set in, and the 
 ovr-estimation had changed into tmcfer-estimation of Mendelssohn, Billow was 
 constantly to the fore in defence of the Master he had so highly honoured in his 
 early youth. 
 
 t Refers, no doubt, to Brendel's paper.
 
 252 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 as is the case with me, tends more to discourage than to encourage those 
 who believe themselves sufficiently advanced in their art to have the 
 right to admire you. 
 
 Might the great politico-physical event which has just taken place at 
 St. Petersburg make it possible to suppose that those matters which you 
 have most deeply at heart will now take a turn more favourable to your 
 views ? Has death rendered you a service ? 
 
 I hope Kaff will not be long in publishing an c Ouverture solennelle ' 
 in honour of the accession of the Emperor Alexander, and I shall be 
 delighted to see the admirable counterpoint with which he will adorn the 
 Russian Hymn, 
 
 Excuse what I have now to tell you. There is a certain Mr. Greulich, 
 to whom we especially owe it that we have done such bad business, and 
 I am obliged to enlighten you a little about him, because you have seen 
 him at Weimar, and he boasts everywhere that he corresponds with you, 
 and declares that he possesses brilliant certificates from your hand about 
 his miserable compositions. He has been trying for a long time to set 
 himself up in opposition to his elder brother Mr. Oswald Greulich, who 
 is not an especially talented man, but a good piano teacher, and a person 
 whom one can take seriously. The fellow has not yet succeeded in 
 doing this, and he did me the honour to select me as the victim or 
 stepping-stone of his intrigues. 
 
 He took the initiative in a correspondence when we were at Breslau, 
 by begging me to entrust to him the arrangements of our concerts^ 
 promising us the most brilliant success, and speaking of his influence 
 and relations with the Polish aristocracy, but which his brother in 
 reality possessed. As Mr. Truhn was detained at Breslau by illness, I 
 set out alone for Posen, Mr. Greulich having mentioned to me the least 
 propitious day in the week as the most favourable for a first concert. I 
 had to put up with a heap of disagreeables, thanks to the swaggering and 
 lies of this gentleman, who, without exaggeration, ruined our chances at 
 Posen, as I have been assured by the most competent judges, and as I 
 found by my own experience. Just imagine what a trick he played me 
 at my first concert, which took place the day after my arrival : he took 
 the programme I had dictated to him, to let the printer have it ; and, 
 without letting me know a word about it, he added to it some of his own 
 compositions. He had brought me a parcel of them the evening before, 
 and I had had the weakness to correct some of them in playing them to 
 him. As a pendant to what I have told you, I enclose some bits of the 
 German paper in which Mr. Greulich endeavoured to throw on to me the 
 mantle of ridicule which has covered his own shoulders since he has been 
 at Posen.
 
 BRESLAU POSEN BERLIN. 253 
 
 Do you still think that you could make one trial, at a rehearsal, of 
 my Fantasia for orchestra ? I am so curious to see whether this trial 
 would make any effect whatever, whether disagreeable or flattering ; this 
 latter supposition would, however, be over-modest.* 
 
 Sometimes in my concerts I join the 12th Rhapsody with the Frischka 
 of the 2nd Rhapsody. Truhn compliments me every time on the 
 crescendo I bring out, which often carries away the majority of the 
 public. The Bach Fugues, which you transcribed so splendidly, have 
 been most useful to me everywhere; and the Schubert Waltzes, the 
 Patineurs and the Sonnambula equally so. I also play all the Chopin 
 Nocturnes which have not been too much drummed into our ears by 
 Mesdames Clauss and Schumann. There remain, thank Heaven, 
 enough " show-pieces " of this kind. 
 
 Please do not forget me on your side; I am so sensitive to the 
 reproach of being forgetful that I am trying to rid myself of it in the 
 greatest haste. 
 
 A propos, I have come across a little prodigy here, such as I could 
 never have imagined to exist. It is the son of a precentor at the 
 synagogue, a Mr. Ketten from Hungary, a child of scarcely seven years 
 of age, who has completely stupified me by his remarkable musical 
 talent. The little lad reads at sight anything that is placed before him, 
 and plays with the utmost care and correctness all the " middle parts " in 
 the most complicated compositions. He even transposes into other keys 
 pieces which he is reading for the first time. This little fellow is really 
 interesting, both by the astonishing agility of his fingers, which seem 
 made for the piano, and by his marvellously acute ear. He can tell you 
 the most out of the way chords without ever making a mistake in a 
 single note, even when one plays them rapidly one after another. He 
 can even classify, and give the technical names to, the harmonies he 
 hears. I played him the first bars of ' Prometheus,' and it nearly made my 
 hair stand on end to hear the exactness of his replies. The father, to 
 whom I am constantly preaching not to " exploiter " his son, wants very 
 much to bring him to you at Weimar, and to beg you to allow his 
 musical education to be taken in hand by one of your pupils. Of course 
 it would be impossible to place such an exceptional child in the 
 Leipzig or Berlin Conservatoire. Mr. Ketten wants very much to know 
 how much longer you expect to be in Weimar, as he intends first to go to 
 Berlin, and to try to interest Mr. Paul Mendelssohn, or possibly even the 
 Government, in his child, in order to obtain pecuniary assistance for him.f 
 
 * As the composition is of a very severe character. 
 
 t Henri Ketten, born 1848 at Baja in Hungary, studied at the Paris Conservatoire, 
 and afterwards made a brilliant, if passing, success as a virtuoso. Died in 1888. 
 Wrote many effective pieces for hia own instrument, besides songs, etc.
 
 254 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 TO LOUIS KOHLER. 
 
 BERLIN, 3rd May 1855, 
 
 BEHREXSTRASSE, 4. 2nd ctage. 
 
 HONOURED SIR, 
 
 Whilst in Dantzig and still in hopes (which, as you know, 
 I had to relinquish) of visiting Konigsberg, and of making the acquaint- 
 ance of one whose writings had proved him to me so worthy a companion- 
 in-arms, I received the enclosed letter from Dr. Liszt, which introduces 
 his pupil, but also very likely contains special information for his friend. 
 I have long reproached myself with keeping these lines from you, and 
 will not put off sending them any longer. 
 
 As you may perhaps have heard, I am now officiating as Pianoforte 
 teacher at the old Conservatoire of Messrs. Marx & Stern, as successor to 
 Kullak. 
 
 A large number of fresh notifications of pupils has insured the con- 
 tinuance of the institution. In spite of being tied here, I hope never- 
 theless to come next winter in any case to visit the birthplace of the 
 composer of "The last days of Pompeii ";* and if possible to open the 
 concert-season there. 
 
 If your time permitted, I should very much like to enter into 
 correspondence with you. Perhaps there may be a hope of welcoming 
 you in Berlin for the performance of ' Tannhauser,' which is to take 
 place, at last, in November. 
 
 FKANZ LISZT TO LOUIS KOHLERt 
 
 MY VERY DEAR FRIEND, 
 
 Hans von Billow will bring you these lines. You must 
 enjoy yourself in the artist who, above all other active or dying out 
 virtuosi, is the dearest to me, and who has, so to speak, grown out of my 
 musical heart. When Hummel heard me in Paris more than twenty- 
 five years ago, he said, "Der Bursch ist ein Eisenfresser (the fellow is a 
 bravo)." To this title, which was very flattering to me, Hans von Billow 
 can with perfect justice lay claim, and I confess that such an extra- 
 ordinarily gifted, thorough-bred musical organism as his has never come 
 before me. 
 
 * An opera by Pabst. 
 
 t Liszt's Letters, edited by La Mara, translated by Constance Bache. Vol. I. 
 page 233. (Grevel, London.)
 
 BRESLAU POSEN BERLIN. 255 
 
 Receive him as an approved and active friend, and do all you can to 
 make his stay in Kbnigsberg a pleasant one. 
 
 Yours in friendship, 
 
 F. LISZT. 
 WEYMAR, Mardi 16, 1855. 
 
 The following extracts from letters written by Franziska to her daughter 
 about this time (Spring, 1855) give us a slight sketch of the kind of life Hans 
 was leading in Berlin, in company with his mother. 
 
 "Hans has just received 4 louis d'or for his latest composition, the 'Keverie 
 fantastique,' dedicated to the Princess of Hohenzollern. This has put him 
 into a somewhat better mood. ... I wish he might get to feel at home 
 here ! I have the feeling that Berlin might become a home to us ; I like it 
 so much, and a great city is what Hans requires. 
 
 . . . God grant me good news from you, and grant Hans contentment 
 and plenty of lessons." 
 
 " On Thursday evening there was a party at Billow's. Hans, Madame 
 Decker (once a celebrated singer) and Karl Bronikowski played and sang duets 
 from Fidelio and Figaro ; Hans accompanied, and also played alone, to people's 
 admiration. . . . On Saturday Hans intended to work hard, but in the 
 evening came Herman Grimm, who was very pleasant. In the daytime too 
 come numbers of callers, mostly young people ; artists, referendaries, and 
 people who are just passing through, as Hans has so many acquaintances." 
 
 " Today with Countess Bohlen to the Exhibition, where there is a beautiful 
 show of pictures for the benefit of the sufferers from the inundation. Just 
 listen in whose company I found myself there : the Prince of Prussia, the 
 Savignys, Herr van Olfers, old Wrangel, &c. ; je vous fais grace des autres I 
 Olfers explained everything to us so nicely ; but I tore myself away, from a 
 sense of duty, from the lovely pictures and good company, and jumped into a 
 carriage, as Hans and lunch were waiting ; then came Ernst, Fraulein Genast 
 from Weimar, &c. At the present moment I am at my writing-table ; this 
 evening I go to a concert given by a couple of Frenchmen, singers, and at 
 which Hans plays. That is how one lives in Berlin. Hans gets into pickles 
 again after his own fashion." 
 
 BERLIN, 25th May 1855. 
 
 " Meanwhile things have gone quite well here also. I don't know if I 
 have already told you that Hans had an invitation from the Duchess of Sagan, 
 to pay her a visit of 3 days on the 29th, during the stay of the Princess of 
 Prussia at Sagan. He accepted : meanwhile he receives, on Sunday, a letter 
 from Amalie Sternberg, the governess to the Princess of Prussia's daughter 
 who has just been confirmed here. This letter was to ask Hans to give her a 
 lesson every day during her short stay here. So he now goes daily from 11 to 
 12, and he much likes going among the very highest families. Not that it 
 specially impresses him, but it puts him in a good humour. In other respects
 
 256 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 he is working hard with composing and arranging, and has but little spare 
 time. He is now received everywhere with distinction, and begins to be 
 regarded as a star of the first magnitude. With all this he can be charming 
 when he will, and seems to have grown much more reasonable." 
 
 TO HIS SISTER. 
 
 SAGAN, 3Qth May 1855. 
 
 MY DEAR SISTER, 
 
 I wrote to you lately to Paris, and you have also doubtless 
 received my letter. It is quite my turn to write to you again before I 
 can receive an answer, for you have often done just the same to me. 
 And I have today moreover something new low be it spoken some- 
 thing good to tell you. 
 
 Since yesterday I have been here with the Duchess of Sagan, who 
 had sent me an invitation to visit her that I might have the opportunity 
 of being presented to the Prince and Princess of Prussia, and might play 
 to them. This introduction had in the meantime already taken place in 
 Berlin. At the beginning of last week I suddenly received a communi- 
 cation from Fraulein Arne'lie v. Sternberg, asking me, at the wish of the 
 Princess, to give a few music-lessons to the young Princess Louise, 
 to whom she is governess. So this came to pass. My royal pupil, 
 who had come to Berlin for her confirmation, is now, alas, returning 
 to Coblence, and the pleasure for such it was, because the young 
 Princess has really beautiful musical talent, and is a very amiable 
 charming creature this pleasure, I say, was of very short duration. 
 Still there is a prospect of the Princess coming to Berlin next winter for 
 a longer time, and then I alone shall be chosen for her piano-teacher 
 again. The Princess-mother whose appearance, by the way, reminds 
 me very much of Frau von Liittichau has overwhelmed me with kind- 
 ness. Only last Saturday she arranged a matine'e in my honour, because 
 she thought " I was still too little known in Berlin, and that it would 
 make me better known." To this matine'e she invited a great number 
 of Royalties and their suites, also artistic magnates such as Meyerbeer, 
 the Court-painter Hensel, &c. So I played the piano a great deal, and 
 played altogether an important and pleasant part. 
 
 I came hither yesterday morning from Berlin by the same train as 
 the Prince of Prussia, etc., and shall probably return there tomorrow 
 by a special train (part way). For the past eight days I have been 
 living as if at Court, attending, of course, all their breakfasts and 
 dinners, &c. The Duchess is extremely agreeable ; the sojourn splendid. 
 A castle of rare beauty and grandeur, a wonderful and immense park,
 
 BRESLAU POSEN BERLIN. 257 
 
 charming visitor's apartments for me, where everything is arranged for 
 the greatest comfort. Drives in Court carriages; this evening a 
 theatrical performance at the Castle ; illuminations ; these are the 
 exceptional diversions which one likes sometimes as a change. I do not 
 speak of the menus; they could only be mentioned with reverential awe. 
 I should like to live like that all my life ! In the evenings, alas, I have 
 to endure great torture in trying to bring out from a villainous old 
 grand-piano (which is unfortunately considered very valuable by its 
 possessor) strains which shall sound as little as possible like caterwauling. 
 If I could only have more assurance, and were not deceived by the idea 
 that the audience is as musical as myself, and as unpleasantly moved by 
 sticking and discordant notes as I am ! But after the experience of 
 yesterday I intend, if I am asked to play again to-day, to pound the old 
 tin-kettle quite boldly and pitilessly as regards myself, and with such 
 self-possession that at the fortissimi no one can hear his own voice, 
 and at the piani no one can hear any sound at all ! 
 
 The theatre begins in half-an-hour ; the Duchess has been obliged to 
 engage a dramatic company from Glogau. I am afraid it will be very 
 bad, and yet not bad enough to be amusing. 
 
 I have had such numerous and repeated calls in Berlin from people 
 chiefly, of course, musicians by profession, whom I got to know while 
 travelling that I have been very idle, and have accomplished but little 
 of all the work I had planned. But that shall be changed on my 
 return, even should the weather continue as fine as now. 
 
 These late occurrences delight Mamma in truth more than they do 
 me. Till now they have cost me more than I can hope to gain by them ! 
 I only wish there may be a reaction and an after-effect of them in Berlin, 
 so that I may rise in the estimation of the better portion of the public, 
 and that some people may wish to learn from me in consequence. 
 
 The sketch of Hans von Billow's youth, which these pages are designed to 
 give, cannot be better concluded than by hia mother's own words. None of 
 the young artist's earlier victories had been so hard, none so important, alike 
 to his inner peace of mind and to the further development of his powers and 
 his character, as the complete conquest of the prejudice which she had always 
 maintained, up to the present time, against his chosen career as an artist ; a 
 prejudice which had its origin in her deep parental solicitude. Whereas 
 Frau von Billow had written to her daughter only a year ago from Dresden, 
 " I comprehend less and less how this artist's life can and does satisfy him " 
 she now sums up her impressions in the following words : 
 
 " Hans has played perfectly, his tones float ethereally upwards, and hia 
 
 R
 
 258 HANS VON BULOW. 
 
 conceptions and their realisation form a drama. He knows how, both by look 
 and tone, to keep the public in rapt attention, hardly daring to breathe, till at 
 the conclusion they break out into a storm of applause. In this power, which 
 he exercises over his audience, he finds the charm of playing in public. The 
 faintest dying breath in Chopin's Nocturne was at once audible in the most 
 distant corner of the crowded hall. With quiet, distinguished deportment he 
 bows slowly with complete unconcern, then carelessly places first one hand 
 and then the other on the keys and begins. Whether the tones now roll 
 forth in the wildest storm, so that one would imagine an orchestra playing, 
 whether they are now heard in the most pearling runs, or die away like the 
 most beautiful human voices in the purest azure, there is always the same 
 composure, the most finished beauty, the complete mastery of thought shown : 
 there one learns to comprehend what Tone-colour means. It is indeed a trans- 
 cendent talent ! Something supernatural ! May he at last win recognition 
 and a position worthy of him. FRANZISKA v. BULOW." 
 
 THE END.
 
 INDEX
 
 INDEX. 
 
 JEschylus, 77. 
 Albert!, 237. 
 Aristophanes, 97. 
 
 Arnim, von, Bettina, and Gisel, 181. 
 Arnims, von, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 
 130, 131, 133, 148, 161, 188, 224, 239. 
 Ascher, 29. 
 Auber, 13, 58, 214. 
 Axierbach, 12. 
 Augusz, von, 154, 160. 
 
 Bach, 10, 11, 12, 19, 109, 141, 146, 160, 
 166, 202, 207, 221, 223, 232, 238, 239, 
 241, 253. 
 
 Balzac, 146, 149. 
 
 Banck, 198. 
 
 Baranowski, 210, 212, 215. 
 
 Bargiel, 231. 
 
 Basse, 21. 
 
 Bauer, 213, 232, 238. 
 
 Bauernfeld, 145. 
 
 Bayer-Burk, 148, 150, 185. 
 
 Beaulieu, 104. 
 
 Beck, 161. 
 
 Beerenmayer, 238. 
 
 Beethoven, 10, 11, 12, 18, 19, 29, 33, 40, 
 46, 47, 57, 66, 72, 77, 86, 93, 96, 99, 
 102, 103, 106, 107, 111, 112, 116, 132, 
 146, 153, 158, 160, 175, 182, 190, 192, 
 202, 221, 223, 230, 234, 238, 250. 
 
 Bellini, 9. 
 
 Benedict, 18. 
 
 Bennett, Sterndale, 176. 
 
 Berlancourt, 132. 
 
 Berlioz, 30, 103, 109, 111, 112, 119, 123, 
 131, 166, 172, 174, 175, 181, 185, 197, 
 198, 199, 200, 201, 203, 204, 211, 216, 
 218, 223, 224, 226, 229. 
 Bernstorff, Countess, 186. 
 Bertini, 11. 
 Bes'sali6, 207. 
 Birch-Pfeiffer, 13. 
 Blassmann, 200. 
 Bluntschli, 48. 
 Bohlen, Countess, 255. 
 Bohrer, 18. 
 Boie, 189, 191. 
 Bote and Bock, 230, 233. 
 Brahms, 176, 187, 189, 192. 
 Brandus, 203, 204, 218. 
 Breitkopf and Hartel, see Hartel. 
 Brendel, 88, 92, 97, 99, 107, 110, 127, 176, 
 
 200, 251. 
 Brockhaus, 98. 
 Bronikowski, 255. 
 Billow, von 
 
 ,, Ernst Heinrich Adolph, 3. 
 Carl Eduard, 3, 4, 5, 17, 39, 
 45, 66, 68, 77, 106, 134, 
 165. 
 
 Franziska (Stoll), 3, 4, 5, 39, 
 42, 49, 52, 134, 142, 247, 
 255, 257, 258. 
 ,, Charlotte, 236. 
 ,, Ernst, 39, 68, 76, 77, 106, 134, 
 
 185, 228, 230, 236, 255. 
 Paul, 39.
 
 262 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Biilow, von, Isidora, 4, 39, 53, 57, 72, 73, 
 75, 87, 111, 113, 117, 118, 
 133, 134, 145, 153, 167, 174, 
 185, 188, 190, 191, 213, 217, 
 235, 236. 
 
 Biilow-Dennewitz, Count von, 3, 39, 207. 
 
 Louise, 3, 5, 39, 62, 
 
 115, 122, 126, 133, 
 
 151, 168, 169, 182, 
 
 188. 
 
 Willi,59, 61, 115, 121, 
 
 122, 133, 168, 169. 
 ,, ,, Heinz, 133. 
 
 Buonaparte, 238. 
 Buttendorf, 248. 
 Byron, 35, 104, 210. 
 
 Calderon, 236. 
 
 Caravaggio, 218. 
 
 Carus, 41, 158, 175. 
 
 Cherubini, 31, 104, 120. 
 
 Chopin, 10, 11, 18, 27, 29, 86, 91, 95, 111, 
 
 158, 175, 176, 209, 221, 223, 241, 249, 
 
 253, 258. 
 Chungakai, 154. 
 Clapisson, 205. 
 Clauss-Szarvady, 191, 253. 
 dementi, 11. 
 
 Cornelius, 124, 148, 172, 176, 181, 236. 
 Cossman, 82, 94, 106, 112, 113. 
 Cramer, 11. 
 Crelinger, 10. 
 Czartoryska, Princess, 216. 
 Czerny, 11, 12, 19, 95, 175, 211. 
 Czertaheli, 88. 
 
 Dachs, 141, 146. 
 
 Dardenne, 71. 
 
 Darid, 30, 101, 112, 127, 129, 131, 182, 
 
 183, 184, 200, 218. 
 Dawison, 145, 199. 
 Decker, 255. 
 Dehn, 236. 
 Dido, 205. 
 Diethelm, 71. 
 
 Dietrichstein, Prince, 139, 153. 
 Dingelstedt, 83. 
 Dohler, 27, 211, 226. 
 Dohm, 237. 
 Donhoff, Countess, 229. 
 
 Db'nniges, 248, 249. 
 
 Doppler, 154. 
 
 Draseke, 210, 213, 216, 239. 
 
 Dreyschock, 144, 145, 146, 148, 150, 153, 
 
 154. 
 
 Duncker, 190. 
 Dzialynski, 248, 249. 
 
 Eberweiu, 5, 11. 
 Eck, 229. 
 Eckermann, 108. 
 Enslen, 9. 
 Erard, 185. 
 Erdody, 147. 
 Erkel, 153, 154. 
 Eyth, see Pohl. 
 
 Fastlinger, 110. 
 
 Fechner, 28, 128. 
 
 Festetics, Count, 147, 148, 152, 154, 157. 
 
 Feuerbach, 72, 120, 242. 
 
 Field, 11. 
 
 Fischer, 184, 199. 
 
 Fischhoff, 141, 145, 146. 
 
 Flathe, 28, 105. 
 
 Florian, 10. 
 
 Flotow, 13, 71, 91, 110. 
 
 Fontaine, Mortier de, 250. 
 
 Foyatier, 218. 
 
 Frank, 238. 
 
 Frankl, 106. 
 
 Franz, 31, 92, 97, 114, 119, 124. 
 
 Frege, Kammerrath, 3, 25. 
 
 ,, Woldemar, 3, 6, 25, 27, 28. 
 
 ,, Livia (Gerhardt), 6, 10, 12, 25, 
 26, 27, 29, 30, 31, 191. 
 
 ,, Arnold, 25, 27. 
 
 ,, Friedrich, 27, 28. 
 Fiirst, 235. 
 
 Gade, 30, 127. 
 Gall, von, 41, 172. 
 Ganz, 181. 
 Genast, 96, 98, 255. 
 Ge"ricault, 218. 
 Gervinus, 105, 211. 
 Geyer, 40, 41. 
 Glasbrenner, 189. 
 Gluck, 104, 122, 166, 198. 
 Gliick, see Paoli.
 
 INDEX. 
 
 263 
 
 Goethe, 83, 106, 108. 
 Goethe, Ottilie von, 34. 
 Goldschmidt, 11, 12. 
 Goltermann, 84. 
 Grahn, 108. 
 Greith, 65. 
 Greulich, 252. 
 Grevel, 254. 
 Griepenkerl, 40. 
 Grillparzer, 150. 
 Grimm, 255. 
 Gros, 218. 
 Grote, von, 185. 
 Griineisen, 19. 
 Guerlain, 218. 
 Gulomy, 72. 
 Gumprecht, 233. 
 Guttentag, 243. 
 Gutzkow, 169. 
 
 Hackstadt, 9. 
 
 Hahnel, 175, 200. 
 
 Halm-Halm, Countess, 3. 
 
 Halm, see Miinch-Bellinghausen. 
 
 Harder, de, 176. 
 
 Harless, 30, 31. 
 
 Hartel, 29, 86, 101, 122, 127, 200, 243. 
 
 Haslinger, 109, 130, 139, 144, 151. 
 
 Haupt, 28. 
 
 Hauptmann, 10, 12, 29, 31, 121. 
 
 Haydn, 99. 
 
 Heine, 97, 121, 187. 
 
 Heinefetter, 166. 
 
 Heinrich, 18, 21. 
 
 Heller, 29. 
 
 Hensel, 256. 
 
 Henselt, 4, 5, 10, 11, 95, 207. 
 
 Herbert, 61, 63, 71, 72. 
 
 Herder, von, 42, 117, 120, 133, 134. 
 
 Hermann, Prince, 87. 
 
 Hermann, 28. 
 
 Herwegh, 114. 
 
 Herzfeld, 146. 
 
 Hesse, 9, 207. 
 
 Hillebrand, (nee Laussot), 5, 216, 239, 240. 
 
 Hiller, 13, 183. 
 
 Hindenburg, von, 248. 
 
 Hinze, 110. 
 
 Hohenzollern, Princess of, 255. 
 
 Holstein, Princess of, 118. 
 
 Holpit, see Pohl. 
 
 Hotspur, Percy, 237. 
 
 Hoven, 109. 
 
 Howard, 30. 
 
 Hiilsen, 229. 
 
 Hummel, 10, 11, 19, 216, 254. 
 
 Hunerfiirst, 208, 236. 
 
 Hunyadi, 148, 155, 158, 159. 
 
 Irmler, 12. 
 
 Jager, 21. 
 
 Jenisch, 191, 193. 
 
 Joachim, 12, 82, 83, 86, 88, 91, 94, 106, 
 107, 109, 111, 112, 123, 124, 125, 126^ 
 127, 128, 153, 166, 170, 172, 174, 176, 
 181, 183, 184, 185, 186, 188, 190, 192, 
 193, 202, 215, 221, 229, 232, 234, 235, 
 236, 237, 238. 
 
 Jouvin, 218. 
 
 Joy, 213, 218, 223. 
 
 Julien, 218. 
 
 Kahnt, 187. 
 
 Kalliwoda, 165, 166, 176. 
 
 Kamienska, Countess, 203, 209, 212, 214, 
 
 215, 221, 223, 224, 229, 231, 234, 236, 
 
 248. 
 
 Karatsonyi, 154. 
 Keller, 48. 
 Ketten, 253. 
 Kisting, 227, 229. 
 Kistner, 34, 101, 127, 129. 
 Klein, 234. 
 Klemm, 12. 
 Klengel, 11, 128. 
 Klindworth, 171, 181, 192. 
 Kbhler, 250, 254. 
 Kolb, 193, 229. 
 Kbnneritz, 139. 
 Kontski, 222. 
 Kbrner, 4. 
 Korniloff, 216. 
 Kossak, 232, 235. 
 Kramer, 57, 60. 
 Krebs, 175, 193, 199. 
 Kreutzer, 9. 
 Kroll, 120, 229. 
 Kriiger, 18. 
 Kuhn, 18.
 
 264 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Kiihmstedt, 111. 
 
 Kullak, 29, 42, 57, 232, 233, 235, 238, 254. 
 
 Kummer, 176. 
 
 Lachner, 83, 189. 
 
 Lacombe, 191. 
 
 La Mara, 254. 
 
 Langer, 119. 
 
 Laub, 181. 
 
 Laube, 96, 145. 
 
 Laussot, see Hillebrand. 
 
 Lehr, 21. 
 
 Leiningen, Count, 172. 
 
 Lemaistre, 216. 
 
 Lenhard, von, 147. 
 
 Levy, 203. 
 
 Lewald, 82, 83, 133. 
 
 Liebig, 230, 232, 236. 
 
 Linanges, Count de, 175. 
 
 Lind, 108, 176, 185. 
 
 Lindpaintner, 18, 20. 
 
 Lipinski, 10, 72, 154, 198, 199, 204, 216, 
 221, 222. 
 
 Liszt, Franz, 5, 13, 19, 32, 33, 34, 35, 42, 
 48, 51, 52, 56, 57, 62, 63, 66, 67, 70, 
 72, 75, 76, 77, 81, 82, 84, 85, 86, 87, 
 88, 89, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 
 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 
 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 
 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 
 123, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 
 132, 133, 134, 135, 139, 140, 141, 142, 
 143, 144, 147, 148, 149, 151, 152, 153, 
 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 160, 165, 166, 
 167, 168, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 181, 
 182, 183, 184, 185, 186, 188, 197, 201, 
 202, 203, 205, 206, 207, 214, 221, 223, 
 224, 228, 229, 230, 233, 235, 238, 239, 
 242, 243, 249, 250, 254, 255. 
 
 Liszt, Eduard, 140, 143, 144. 
 
 Litolff, 12, 13, 19, 36, 40, 41, 87, 94, 121, 
 147, 183, 200. 
 
 Lobe, 110. 
 
 Lortzing, 63. 
 
 Lowy, 140, 144. 
 
 Ltihrss, 243. 
 
 Lully, 19. 
 
 Liittichau, von, 3, 101, 133, 141, 145, 154, 
 174, 175, 184, 198, 199, 256. 
 
 Macchiavelli, 226, 237. 
 
 Mangold, 113. 
 
 Mangolt, von, 104. 
 
 Marastoni, 159. 
 
 Marpurg, 230. 
 
 Marschner, 104, 185. 
 
 Marx, 229, 233, 234, 235, 237, 238, 249, 
 
 254. 
 
 Marxen, 189. 
 Mayer, 10, 19, 48, 176. 
 Mayer- Wordmiiller, 60. 
 Mecklenburg, Prince of, 235. 
 Me"hul, 20, 58. 
 Mendelssohn, 6, 11, 19, 20, 30, 66, 83, 
 
 101, 112, 146, 166, 190, 
 
 191, 243, 251. 
 Paul, 253. 
 
 Meser, 173, 240. 
 Meyerbeer, 66, 74, 120, 229, 234, 236, 251, 
 
 256. 
 
 Milanollo, 145, 148, 152. 
 Milde, von, 105, 109, 120, 187. 
 Mirabeau, 218. 
 Moleschott, 241. 
 Moliere, 10, 205. 
 Molique, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21. 
 Montenuovo, Count, 147. 
 Moritz, 83. 
 
 Moscheles, 11, 29, 30, 101. 
 Mosewius, 207. 
 
 Mozart, 18, 31, 36, 59, 66, 99, 176. 
 Miiller, 12, 121. 
 
 Miinch-Bellinghausen, Freiherr von, 148. 
 Murillo, 218. 
 Musset, de, 216, 243. 
 Mycielski, Count, 202, 203, 207, 208, 212, 
 
 215, 220, 238, 248. 
 Daughters, 211, 217, 239. 
 
 Napier, 239. 
 
 Napoleon, 12, 140, 218, 242. 
 
 Naumann, 232. 
 
 Nehse, 120. 
 
 Nero, 205. 
 
 Noels, 133. 
 
 Olfers, 255. 
 
 Orleans, Duchess of, 112. 
 
 Pabst, 254.
 
 INDEX. 
 
 265 
 
 Paesiello, 19. 
 
 Paganini, 202. 
 
 Pallavicini, 147. 
 
 Paoli, 145, 149. 
 
 Patersi, 223. 
 
 Petersen, 191. 
 
 Petbfy, 121. 
 
 Pepita, 192. 
 
 Piccini, 19. 
 
 Pixis, 224. 
 
 Plaidy, 11, 12. 
 
 Platen, Count, 184, 185. 
 
 Plater, Count, 220. 
 
 Plutarch, 106. 
 
 Pogwisch, von, 34. 
 
 Pohl, 165, 166, 175, 193, 200, 204, 205, 
 
 225, 227, 251. 
 Potocka, Countess, 213. 
 Potworowski, Count, 226. 
 Proudhon, 65, 132. 
 Pruckner, 120, 170, 172, 181. 
 Prume, 13. 
 Prussia, Prince of, 235, 255, 256. 
 
 ,, Prince Friedrich, 235. 
 
 ,, Prince George, 235, 236. 
 
 Princess of, 255, 256. 
 
 ,, Princess Louise, 256. 
 Puttkamer, von, 248, 250. 
 
 Rachel, 41. 
 
 Racine, 10. 
 
 Radecke, 127, 129. 
 
 Raff, 17, 20, 29, 32, 33, 49, 81, 82, 83, 84, 
 86, 88, 90, 91, 106, 118, 120, 170, 176, 
 181, 186, 202, 225, 252. 
 
 Raphael, 218. 
 
 Rathgeber, 29. 
 
 Redern, Count, 181, 190, 221, 229, 235,236. 
 
 Reissiger, 95, 110, 175, 198, 199. 
 
 Rellstab, 106, 186, 227, 229, 230, 232, 236. 
 
 RemSnyi, 176, 183. 
 
 Reuss, 12. 
 
 Ridley-Kohne, 155. 
 
 Rietz, 27, 30. 
 
 Ritter, Frau, 5, 99, 173. 
 
 Alexander and Carl, 5, 6, 20, 27, 
 29, 30, 46, 48, 49, 51, 53, 54, 
 56, 58, 61, 72, 100, 107, 110, 
 173, 176, 200, 203, 239, 240, 
 243, 251. 
 
 Ritmiiller, 185, 193. 
 
 Robespierre, 218. 
 
 Rockel, 83. 
 
 Roger, 97, 236. 
 
 Ronisch, 211. 
 
 Rubinstein, 202. 
 
 Russia, Emperor Alexander of, 252. 
 
 Sagan, Duchess of, 255, 256. 
 
 Saphir, 150. 
 
 Savigny, 255. 
 
 Saxony, King of, 205. 
 
 Saxe-Weimar, Grand Duchess Luise, 34. 
 
 Schaeffer, 243. 
 
 Scheuten, 20. 
 
 Schiedmayer, 18, 21. 
 
 Schiller, 19, 70. 
 
 Schlegel, 90, 96. 
 
 Schletter, 128. 
 
 Schlesinger, 221, 226, 227, 228. 
 
 Schmidtgen, 9. 
 
 Schmiedel, 5. 
 
 Schnabel, 207. 
 
 Schneider, 119. 
 
 Schopenhauer, 243. 
 
 Schott, 217. 
 
 Schreck, 120. 
 
 Schreiber, 208, 213, 214, 220, 222. 
 
 Schubert, 91, 176, 183, 199, 253. 
 
 Schuberth, 191, 193. 
 
 Schumann, 27, 33, 72, 74, 83, 86, 95, 96, 
 
 97, 99, 104, 109, 176, 183, 
 
 187, 192, 251. 
 Clara, 10, 215, 221, 229, 230, 
 
 231, 232, 234, 235, 237, 239, 
 
 247, 253. 
 Schurig, 223. 
 Schwarzbach, 30. 
 Schwendler, Ton, 34, 123. 
 Senff, 127, 243. 
 Shakespeare, 28, 95, 96. 
 Siegsfeld, von, 117, 118, 120. 
 Singer, 153, 175, 200. 
 Soest, 105. 
 Solmar, 39. 
 
 Sontag, 104, 107, 108, 114, 185. 
 Scupper, von, 214. 
 Speidel, 72, 84, 188, 189. 
 Spener, 233. 
 Spina, 142, 175.
 
 266 
 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Spohr, 104, 119, 183, 185, 193, 201, 207. 
 
 Spontini, 104, 229. 
 
 Stablewski, von, 217, 220, 226. 
 
 Stahr, 82, 83, 97, 113, 231, 232. 
 
 Steibelt, 11. 
 
 St. Fargeau, 219. 
 
 Stern, 119, 235, 236, 237, 254. 
 
 Sternau, 121, 187. 
 
 Sternberg, 255, 256. 
 
 Stigelli, 58. 
 
 Stirnbrand, 154. 
 
 Stockhausen, 139. 
 
 Stoltz, 205, 206. 
 
 Stoltzenberg, Baron, 145. 
 
 Stbr, 33, 34, 98. 
 
 Storch, 236. 
 
 Strauss, 41, 146, 151, 226. 
 
 Streicher, 155. 
 
 SuJkowski, Prince, 215, 220, 226, 227. 
 
 Szarvady, 121, 191. 
 
 Talleyrand, 123. 
 
 Tarido, 219. 
 
 Taylor, see Hillebrand. 
 
 Thalberg, 29, 72, 152. 
 
 Thode, 27, 192. 
 
 Thun, 139. 
 
 Tieck, 3, 87, 99, 187, 221, 228. 
 
 Titian, 218. 
 
 Tomaschek, 155. 
 
 Toros Janos, 155. 
 
 Trautwein, 243. 
 
 Truhn, 185, 229, 232, 234, 247, 249, 250. 
 
 252, 253. 
 Tyszkiewicz, 227, 230. 
 
 Uhlig, 92, 96, 107, 109, 129, 187. 
 Ulrich, 236. 
 Ungar, 154, 155. 
 
 Varnhagen, 39. 
 
 Verdi, 151. 
 
 Vernet, 218. 
 
 Vieuxtemps, 231. 
 
 Virgil, 205. 
 
 Vivier, 232. 
 
 Volkmann, 158, 160, 186. 
 
 Voltaire, 10, 218, 242. 
 
 Wachsmuth, 28. 
 
 Wagner, Richard, 5, 20, 30, 32, 35, 45, 
 46, 47, 49, 52, 53, 54, 56, 57, 
 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 67, 68, 
 69, 70, 71, 72, 75, 83, 85, 87, 
 88, 90, 96, 97, 101, 103, 104, 
 105, 106, 107, 109, 110, 112, 
 114, 122, 123, 172, 173, 182, 
 198, 199, 202, 225, 236, 243. 
 Johanna, 203, 212, 226, 227, 229, 
 
 230, 232, 234, 236, 237. 
 Wallner, 249. 
 
 Weber, 18, 19, 27, 66, 104, 111, 132, 146. 
 Weisse, 28, 128. 
 Wieck, 17, 87, 176. 
 Marie, 175. 
 Wieniawski, 222. 
 Will, 166. 
 Willmers, 211, 226. 
 Winterberger, 33. 
 Wittgenstein, Princess, 33, 81, 172, 200, 
 
 223. 
 Princess Marie, 123, 133 
 
 172. 
 
 ,, Eugen, 172. 
 
 Wodzicki, Count de, 220, 226. 
 Wrangel, 255. 
 Wurtemberg, Princess Auguste of, 87. 
 
 Zedlitz, von, 152. 
 Ziegesar, von, 96, 104. 
 Zimmermann, 229. 
 Zischek, 9. ^ 
 
 PRINTED AT THE EDINBURGH PRESS, 9 AND n YOUNG STREET.
 
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 and me, ind 
 
 le had finished 
 
 | to Tasmania, 
 
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 view of it so 
 led when the 
 toward the 
 lence and felt 
 
 and gossipy person, for he considers their problems in a 
 large, impersonal way like a wise man; and he finds that 
 he is not too great to be benefited by these little things, 
 for life has a pleasant taste and the little things make life. 
 
 Some of us cannot settle down to work, because we are 
 forever fretting about opportunity, dashing madly to the 
 door to see if she has knocked, tangling our skein and 
 making a mess of things, chasing uncertainty. Opportunity 
 is a giver of strange gifts, often of doubtful value. 
 
 Let us seize the tangible. Our distant valley is serene 
 and wide awake, our work is of a pleasant kind and not 
 too much of it. We are not likely to gain riches or notoriety, 
 neither are we so poor that we are impaled upon unpaid 
 bills and overdue rents. We are not having to club our- 
 selves constantly before the public to keep from sinking 
 out of sight upon the shores of nonentity. We have time 
 to make marginal notes as we study life's great book, and 
 the experience we gain in our valley passes current every- 
 where. Joy comes by contrast, and it seems that some of 
 us have been sighing for a three-room flat with a folding 
 bed and a fire escape in which to be miserable. 
 
 Our first duty is to do our work well; even our remote- 
 ness will not serve to cover up helter-skelter teaching and 
 playing. The road that leads through our valley disappears 
 over the hill crest and loses itself in the market-place. 
 Some one is always setting out upon this road and carrying 
 our work downward into the cities. Our heart flows out 
 after it, our hopes, longings, and desires are wrapped up 
 in it; our work must be very good to stand out in the over- 
 crowded marts of men. It is the thought of the market- 
 place that keeps us from stagnating and sinking- into the 
 murky depths of inactivity. 
 
 Some of us give lessons as though we were going to war, 
 our studios are veritable battle-fields strewn with lacerated 
 feelings. There is a striking difference between the 
 teacher who is absorbed only by the hard, bare facts of 
 the lesson and the one who turns a desert into a flower 
 garden and puts atmosphere and sky behind the printed 
 symbols. The line that separates the real from the ideal 
 is an invisible one, the real is as intimately related to the 
 ideal as the seed to the flower. 
 
 Children at school learn their lessons by the sound of 
 the gong and the stroke of the bell, and being in or out of 
 line often overtops being in or out of a recitation. We 
 cannot march our pupils through a music lesson to the 
 tick of the metronome or the tap of the pencil without in 
 time smothering the ideal that is wrapped up like a cocoon, 
 in every child. We need not lose one pennyweight of our 
 authority by giving the child a chance to be himself, for 
 much that he learns is not printed on the page at all, it 
 slips in between and is often the best part. A music lesson 
 is full of surprises; one can never tell from the outside what 
 is going on inside; the most picturesque, bewildering and 
 oftentimes informing things come out unexpectedly. 
 
 Our Lorelei would have us believe that possibility and 
 success lie outside the valley, in the world below, and those 
 
 3Y RAFF
 
 VON BULOW'S LETTERS 
 
 BY FREDERIC S. LAW 
 
 THE seventh and probably last volume of Hans von 
 ! Billow's letters has recently been published by Breitkopf 
 & Haertel. They are edited by Marie von Billow, the 
 writer's second wife, who has added many explanatory 
 and biographical details which greatly increase the interest 
 ^of the book. There is much of permanent value in this 
 fvhole series of volumes, which begins with letters written 
 ^t an early age and ends with one bearing the date of 
 November 17, 1893, at Cairo, Egypt, where he died less 
 than three months later, February 12, 1894; much that 
 /will serve the historian in recording the musical events of 
 that extraordinary period which began with Wagner's 
 first works for the stage and ended with Richard Strauss's 
 early symphonic poems, as well as much that is purely 
 personal, but none the less interesting in casting a sharply 
 illuminating light on a character surely one of the most 
 remarkable of the musicians who distinguished his era. 
 
 Born in Dresden January 8, 1830, he was delicate as a 
 child and as a man never knew robust health. His 
 natural bent to sarcasm and cynicism was no doubt in- 
 tensified by ill health, as well as by the unkind fate which 
 so persistently destroyed his domestic happiness. While 
 yet young continual dissension between his parents dis- 
 turbed the household, and when they finally separated 
 the boy's sympathies were with his father, whom he elected 
 to follow, though not without a severe strain to his feelings. 
 The tragic story of his later life his marriage to Liszt's 
 daughter Cosima, his ardent friendship with Wagner, 
 cruelly ruptured by her desertion of him with their. two 
 children, her divorce and subsequent marriage with his for- 
 mer friend is too well known to require more than mention. 
 
 Von Billow was not a creative musician; he was par 
 excellence the reproductive, the interpretative artist; his 
 type the objective, not the subjective like that of his great 
 
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 the concerts, of his second tour this 
 eably wanting; his clear and logical 
 Jwerful single finger tone, which in 
 of the finale of the Moonlight Sonata 
 rumpet, hardly made amends for the 
 t fine, careless rapture." 
 th neither praise nor blame when he 
 Singers, in general, did not appeal 
 ed them vain and commonly wanting 
 )f Madame Sembrich he made an 
 ed her art in the highest terms. His 
 rell known; it led him to remark in his 
 ting manner that " a tenor is not a man, 
 (\ youth was once ill-advised enough 
 
 to him by saying he was a tenor, but 
 "used on receiving the kindly rejoinder, 
 
 worry you!" 
 
 of his frankness is the letter he wrote 
 
 Drmer director of the Peabody Institute 
 
 recommended to him the music of a 
 
 whom he was interested. This is 
 
 he wrote it in his own Teutonized 
 
 ge", I am sorry to say but my wretched, 
 5 will not be unknown to you that I 
 is 'compositions,' and that I feel much 
 ated for being able to take the least 
 , preposterous mock music. I don't 
 be gifted that you most know better 
 
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 L -sasuiqd puB sum niBi-iao SuiXBjd 
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 q.vi snostrsj aqi pjoj aq uaqj pun 
 
 Xatrj 
 
 Elektra. His little known Burleska for piano and orchestra 
 von Biilow detested; he called it "hateful music." 
 
 He met Paderewski in Berlin where he directed the 
 orchestra during the pianist's performance of his owi. 
 concerto. He praised his playing and describes him as 
 "an agreeable man of culture with a great red-haired and 
 natural wig, which frames well his distinguished features." 
 He dined with von Biilow and his wife, who were much 
 concerned because their guest ate so little and asked him 
 to tell them what he liked so that they might the better 
 prepare for him the next time. Paderewski said, "In the 
 matter of food, I like guests!" whereupon von Biilow 
 called him a cannibal. 
 
 On his second visit to this country he found much to 
 which he took exception. In one of his letters from 
 New York he wrote that he "would be in paradise if it 
 were not for the forwardness, rudeness, Philistinism, and 
 heaviness of the people." Still, such comments were no 
 doubt largely prompted by ill health, for at other times 
 the tone of his letters was very different; for example, a 
 few days later we find a very different tale: "Fine weather, 
 public, press, piano, and no Philistine." 
 
 As a conductor Theodore Thomas did not please him; 
 he called him a "glue-boiler" that is, dull, heavy, prosaic, 
 Of the Boston Symphony Orchestra he says: "The orchestra 
 is magnificent, and Gericke understands his business tc 
 the fortissimo degree, much better than the so-called 
 Wagnerian conductors." His breadth of sympathy is 
 shown by the delight with which he heard a performance 
 of Offenbach's Grande Duehesse, in which Lillian Russell 
 played the title-r61e: "I was not ripe for this earlier, nc 
 more than for Mozart. That heavenly woman whose 
 name is Lillian Russell comes next to Agnes Sorma [a 
 highly popular German soubrette]." 
 
 He never hesitated to take his audiences into his con 
 fidence; his bon mots and impromptu speeches kept then 
 
 *J*.%11 nw\ tVio nili tWItf TT VlQ*^ w^ 1~ 
 
 sa|pnj-pnra jo jno suBpisnm PUB sSoMXjjod jo jn 
 sjsiuBid a^Bui HIM jBqi qspaj jo jaos auios si poqjara B }Bq 
 pBoiqB Bapi UB aq a\ sraaas aaaqx 'Sijdnd puB siuaaB 
 Xq pauopuara jsig 313M. i\ ssajun poqiatn jo ^uiqj J3A3 
 pjnoM uiaqj jo isora }Bqi BJB saouBqo aqi }nq 'poqjatu B i 
 aAatjaq uiaqj jo araos sdBqiaj -aaqjo ao poqiaui suios j 
 sjuaaaqpB aq oj saaqoBa; aoj XaBssaoau suiaas i; spoqiat 
 inoqB uoisssidun 8ui|iBA3id aqi jo aouanbasuoo uj 
 'iqSnBi aq 01 aABq pjno.\v iBqi 'uBuiBu;q3 araos Xq poqiat 
 B SBM aaaqi ji XiqBqoaj -poqiaui zi;i;ais aqi ^o poqiat 
 aaimraqDiaj, aqi si i; sd^qjad JLQ .jpoqiaui UOSBJ^ aqi 
 si ao (ipoqiatn XijzpaqDsaq aqi j; sj 'iqSnBi si aq poqjat 
 IBq.vi inq 'XBjd 01 A\oq iqSnBi si jidnd aqi iou Jo aaqiaqj 
 jo uopsanb B iou s; ij -uopBjapisuoo snouas isora at 
 aq 0} stuaas poqiaui jo aaiiBui aqi suosaad atuos HiiAY 
 
 .\aiA\VH HD1VH HVOSO AS 
 
 noA oa aonxaw XVHAV
 
 4 
 
 It so happened that two ladies were 
 making their way to their seats at the 
 very moment Von Biilow finished his 
 introduction of the first movement of 
 Beethoven's "Sonata Pathetique." This 
 so irritated him that he purposely com- 
 menced the allegro at such an absurdly 
 slow pace as to make the quavers in 
 the bass correspond exactly to the time 
 of the ladies' footsteps. As may be 
 imagined, they felt on thorns and hur- 
 ried on as fast as they could, while 
 Von Biilow accelerated his tempo in 
 sympathy with their increasing pace. 
 Burnett's Musical Reminiscences. 
 
 Von Biilow was indignant with pupils 
 who neglected their lessons upon slight 
 excuses. One day before Ascension he 
 ftared that many pupils might take ad- 
 vantage of the holidays. Accordingly he 
 made the announcement : "To-morrow 
 we shall hold religious services here. I 
 shall play from Bach and from Beethoven. 
 The first is the Old Testament, the latter 
 is the New Testament." 
 
 A considerable portion of the library of the late 
 von Biilow has been presented to the Berlin Municipal 
 Library by his widow. 
 
 THE German Bach Society will restore, as far as possible^ 
 all the old organs and clavier instruments preserved at the x 
 Bach Museum at Eisenach. 
 
 THE famous Bach Choir of Bethlehem, Pa., is to be re- 
 vived next spring. The former director, Dr. J. Fred Wolle, 
 has returned and has resumed rehearsal.
 
 A 000 634 274 5 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 Santa Barbara 
 
 STACK COLLECTION 
 
 THIS BOOK IS DUE ON THE LAST DATE 
 STAMPED BELOW. 
 
 10m-10,'63(E1188s4)476D