EXLIBRC UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 JOHN HENRY NASH LIBRARY 
 
 SAN FRANCISCO 
 
 PRESENTED TO THE 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 ROBERT GORDON SPRQUL, PRESIDENT. 
 
 MR.ANDMRS.MILTON S.RAV 
 
 CECILY, VIRGINIA AND ROSALYN RAY 
 
 AND THE 
 
 RAY OIL BURNERGOMPANY 
 
K I D D: 
 
 A MORAL OPUSCULE 
 
 The Verse [sic] by Illustrations [sick~\ 
 
 Richard J. by George 
 
 Walsh Illian 
 
 NEW YORK: William Edwin Rudge 
 
 1922 
 
OothisisKidd! 
 
 Observe the lid. 
 
 Recall the evil things he did. 
 
 COPYRIGHT 192.2 
 BY GEORGE J. ILLIAN 
 
He scuttled ships on trading trips. 
 He toted knives on both his hips. 
 He cursed [a crank]. He spat. He drank. 
 He made the virtuous walk the plank, 
 And took their gold to fill his hold, 
 [At least, so I was always told]. 
 
So we began to make this book- 
 The artist being Georgie Illian 
 Depicting that historic crook 
 In vicious green and dire vermilion. 
 And George [who once was on a boat] 
 Drew rakish hulls and chests of treasure, 
 And scoundrels out to cut your throat, 
 And sink your bark to suit their pleasure. 
 
And then, in all the public prints, 
 [Of every hue from red to yellow] 
 I came upon the broadest hints 
 That Kidd was just an honest fellow 
 
Who lived a life of piety, 
 Devoid of sin and pirate folly, . 
 Aspiring by sobriety 
 To win his shall we call her Molly? 
 Honored through all his native village, 
 An honest sailor, poor but haughty, 
 The last one to indulge in pillage, 
 Nautical, but never naughty. 
 
How then, you ask, has Kidd attained 
 This reputation as a pirate? 
 The fact is readily explained. 
 When friends of his got really irate 
 And cried "These pirates, if we let 'em, 
 Will steal the ocean drop by drop," 
 Kidd volunteered to go and get 'em, 
 And so became a pirate cop. 
 
He chased them far, he chased them long, 
 Till of their craft the seas were rid; 
 
 But History got the story wrong 
 And wrote him down as "Pirate Kidd. 
 
O lost romance! O faded glory! 
 Tarnished our hero and diminished! 
 Why did they have to spoil the story 
 Just as we had the pictures finished? 
 But then the printer, Billy Roidge, 
 Exclaimed "I've bought the paper now, 
 I'm not the one to bear a grudge, 
 I'll print the pictures anyhow." 
 
A picture-book without the text 
 Is like a maid without a tongue, 
 And so I sought [a little vexed] 
 To find a message for the young- 
 A tail to wag the artist's dog, 
 A moral to adorn the tale; 
 I hit upon this epilogue 
 For every young, ambitious male: 
 
MORAL 
 
 To win a Bradstreet reputation 
 'Tis not enough that you be pure, 
 Avoid the very implication 
 Of knowing any evil-doer. 
 Seek not his mischief to undo, 
 Nor separate him from his pelf, 
 Or fame may mix him up with you, 
 And you with him. 
 Don't Kidd yourself. 
 
 THE END 
 
COLO S^i PHONY 
 
 wl 
 NO f ! TE 
 
 Executed\JJung up] at the Printing House of BittoRudge, 
 Mount Vernon, New York, during the Summer of 1^22. 
 The Press Gang assisting at the execution comprised the 
 fo [towing notorious persons : 
 
 Richard $> Wafsfi, B. P. D. (Doctor of Bad Verse) 
 
 George Ifh'an, D.U.D. ( Doctor of Underdone Design) 
 
 Tred W. Goudy, T.D. ( Typothetic Designer) 
 
 Bertha M. Goudy, C.E>. (Compositrice Extraordinaire) 
 Bruce Rogers, L.O.M. (Lay-out Man) 
 
 Tranfi S. Goerfie, L.U.M. (Lock-up Man) 
 
 Paul ' $. Peters, R.I. P. (Reader of Incoherent Proof) 
 
 Thomas C. Hughes, M. P. (Master of the Press) 
 
 Edith Diehf, B.B. (Book Bindress) 
 
 Tranfi Branca, P. S. (Packer & shipper) 
 
 NIC ETNUNC 
 
 (Especially Hie)