THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES BAB BALLADS v'OY SONGS : BAB BALLADS mo SONGS rtl W. H. PHILHDCLPHW Copyriylit, 1896, by HENRY AI.TKMI'S. BfcNKV ALTEMUS, M AN L FACT L KtR. PHILADELPHIA. College Library PR 1326501 CONTENTS. Yarn of the "Nancy Bell" 7 Captain Reece 12 The Bishop and the Busman The Folly of Brown 21 The Three Kings of Chickeraboo 25 The Bishop of Rum-ti-Foo 29 To the Terrestrial Globe General John 35 Sir Guy the Crusader 38 King Borria Bungalee Boo 42 The Troubadour 48 The Force of Argument 53 Only a Dancing Girl 58 The Sensation Captain 61 The Periwinkle Girl n With golden tresses, Like a real princess's, While the Atie, despite his razor keen, Was the apie% Ape that ever \\ a? seen! 130 Songs of a Savoyard. He bought white ties, and he bought dress suits, He crammed his feet into bright tight boots, And to start his life on a brand-new plan, He christened himself Darwinian Man! But it would not do, The scheme fell through For the Maiden fair, whom the monkey craved, Was a radiant Being, With a brain far-seeing While a Man, however well-behaved, At best is only a monkey shaded! Sans Souci. 131 SANS SOUCI. I cannot tell what this love may be That cometh to all but not to me. It cannot be kind as they'd imply, Or why do these gentle ladies sigh? It cannot be joy and rapture deep, Or why do these gentle ladies weep ? It cannot be blissful, as 'tis said, Or why are their eyes so wondrous red? If love is a thorn, they show no wit Who foolishly hug and foster it. If love is a weed, how simple they Who gather and gather it, day by day! If love is a nettle that makes you smart, Why do you wear it next your heart ? And if it be neither of these, say I,, Why do you sit and sob and sigh? 132 Songs of a Savoyard. THE BRITISH TAR. A British tar is a soaring soul, As free as a mountain bird, His energetic fist should be ready to resist A dictatorial word. His nose should pant and his lips should curl, His cheeks should flame and his brow should furl, His bosom should heave and his heart should glow, And his fist be ever ready for a knock-down blow. His eyes should flash with an inborn fire, His brow with scorn be rung; He never should bow down to a domineering frown, Or the tang of a tyrant tongue. His foot should stamp and his throat should growl, His hair should twirl and his fane should scowl ; His eyes should flash and his breast protrude, And this should be his customary attitude! The Coming Bye and Bye. 133 THE COMING BYE AND BYE. Sad is that woman's lot who, year by year, Sees, one by one, her beauties disappear; As Time, grown weary of her hoart-drawn sighs, Impatiently begins to "dim her eyes!" 134 Souys of a Savoyard. Herself compelled, in life's uncertain gloam- ings, To wreathe her wrinkled brow with well saved "combings" Reduced, with rouge, lipsalve, and pearly grey, To "make up" for lost time, as best she may! Silvered is the raven hair, Spreading is the parting straight, Mottled the complexion fair, Halting is the youthful gait. Hollow is the laughter free, Spectacled the limpid eye, Little will be left of me, In the coming bye and bye I Fading is the taper waist Shapeless grows the shapely limb, And although securely laced, Spreading is the figure trim! Stouter than I used to be, Still more corpulent grow I There will be too much of me In the coming bye and bye! The Sorcerer's Song. 135 THE SOECEEER'S SONG. Oh! my name is John Wellington Wells I'm a dealer in magic and spells, In blessings and curses, And ever filled purses, In prophecies, witches and knells! If you want a proud foe to "make tracks" If you'd melt a rich uncle in wax You've but to look in On our resident Djinn, Number seventy, Simmery Axe. We've a first class assortment of magic; And for raising a posthumous shade With effects that are comic or tragic, There's no cheaper house in the trade. Love-philtre we've quantities of it; And for knowledge if any one burns, We keep an extremely small prophet, a prophet Who brings us unbounded returns: For he can prophesy With a wink of his eye, 136 Songs of a Savoyard. Peep with security Into futurity, Sum up your history, Clear up a mystery, Humor proclivity For a nativity. "With mirrors so magical, Tetrapods tragical, Bogies spectacular, Answers oracular, Facts astronomical, Solemn or comical, And, if you want it, he Makes a reduction on taking a quantity! Oh! If any one anything lacks, He'll find it all ready in stacks, If he'll only look in On the resident Djinn, Number seventy, Simmery Axe! He can raise you hosts Of ghosts, And that without reflectors; And creepy things With wings, The Sorcerer's Song. 137 And gaunt and grisly spectres! He can fill you crowds Of shrouds, And horrify you vastly; He can rack your brains With chains, And gibberings grim and ghastly. Then, if you plan it, he Changes organity, With an urbanity, Full of Satanity, Vexes humanity With an inanity Fatal to vanity Driving your foes to the verge of insanity I Barring tautology, In demonology, 'Lectro biology, Mystic nosology, Spirit philology, High class astrology, Such is his knowledge, he Isn't the man to require an apology! Oh! My name is John Wellington Wells, I'm a dealer in magic and spells, In blessings and curses, And ever filled purses 138 Songs of a Savoyard. In prophecies, witches and knells! If any one anything lacks, He'll find it all ready in stacks, If he'll only look in On the resident Djinn, Number seventy, Simmery Axel Speculation. 139 SPECULATION. Comes a train of little ladies From scholastic trammels free, Each a little bit afraid is, Wondering what the world can be I Is it but a world of trouble Sadness set to song? Is its beauty but a bubble Bound to break ere long? Are its palaces and pleasures Fantasies that fade? And the glories of its treasures Shadow of a shade? Schoolgirls we, eighteen and under, From scholastic trammels free, And we wonder how we wonder! What on earth the world can be I 140 Songs of a Savoyard. THE DUKE OF PLAZA-TORO. In enterprise of martial kind, When there was any fighting, He led his regiment from behind, He found it less exciting. But when away his regiment ran, His place was at the fore, That celebrated, Cultivated, Underrated Nobleman, The Duke of Plaza-Toro! In the first and foremost flight, ha, ha! You always found that knight, ha, ha! That celebrated, Cultivated, Underrated Nobleman, The Duke of Plaza-Toro! When, to evade Destruction's hand, To hide they all proceeded, No soldier in that gallant band Hid half as well as he did. The Duke of Plaza-Toro. 141 He lay concealed throughout the war, And so preserved his gore, 0! That unaffected, Undetected, Well connected Warrior, The Duke of Plaza-Toro! In every doughty deed, ha ha! He always took the lead, ha ha! That unaffected, Undetected, Well connected Warrior, The Duke of Plaza-Toro! When told that they would all he shot Unless they left the service, The hero hesitated not, So marvellous his nerve is. He sent his resignation in, The first of all his corps, ! That very knowing, Overflov/ing, Easy-going Paladin, The Duke of Plaza-Toro! 142 Songs of a Savoyard. To men of grosser clay, ha, ha! He always showed the way, ha, ha! That very knowing, Overflowing, Easy-going .Paladin, The Duke of Plaza-Toro! The Reward of Merit. 143 THE REWARD OF MERIT. Dr. Bel vi lie v.-as regarded as the Crichton of his age: His tragedies were reckoned much too thoughtful for the stage; His poems held a noble rank, although it's very true That, being very proper, they were read by very few. He was a famous Painter, too, and shone upon the "line," And even Mr. Ruskin came and worshipped at his shrine; But, alas, the school he followed was heroic- ally high The kind of Art men rave about, but very seldom buy And everybody said "How can he be repaid This very great this very good this very gifted man?" But nobody could hit upon a practicable plan! 144 Songs of a Savoyard. He was a great Inventor, and discovered, all alone, A plan for making everybody's fortune but his own; For. in business, an Inventor's little better than a fool, And my highly gifted friend was no excep- tion to the rule. His poems people read them in the Quar- terly Reviews His pictures they engraved them in the Illustrated News His invention* they, perhaps, might have enriched him by degrees, But all his little income went in Patent Office fees; And everybody said "How can he be repaid This very great this very good this very gifted man?" But nobody could hit upon a practicable plan! At last the point was given up in .absolute despair, When a-. distant cousin died, and he became a millionaire, The Reward of Merit. 145 With a county seat in Parliament, a moor or two of grouse, And a taste for making inconvenient speeches in the House! Then it flashed upon Britannia that the fit- test of rewards Was, to take him from the Commons and to- put him in the Lords! And who so fit to sit in it, deny it if you can, As this very great this very good this very gifted man? (Though I'm more than half afraid That it sometimes may be said That we never should have revelled in that source of proper pride, However great his merits if his cousin hadn't died!) 146 Songs of a Savoyard. WHEN I FIRST PUT THIS UNIFORM ON. When I first put this uniform on, I said, as I looked in the glass, "It's one to a million That any civilian My figure and form will surpass. Gold lace has a charm for the fair, And I've plenty of that, and to spare, While a lover's professions, When uttered in Hessians, Are eloquent everywhere!" A fact that I counted upon, When I first put this uniform on I" I said, when I first put it on, "It is plain to the veriest dunce That every beauty Will feel it her duty To yield to its glamor at once. They will see that I'm freely gold-laced In a uniform handsome and chaste" But the peripatetics Of long-haired aesthetics, Are very much more to their taste Which I never counted upon When I first put this uniform on! N id 1 to Myself, Said I. 14; SAID I TO MYSELF, SAID I. When I went to the Bar as a very young man, (Said I to myself said I), I'll work on a new and original plan (Said I to myself said I), I'll never assume that a rogue or a thief Is a gentleman worthy implicit belief, Because his attorney has sent me a brief (Said I to myself said I!). I'll never throw dust in a juryman's eyes (Said I to myself said I), Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise (Said I to myself said I), 148 Songs of a Savoyard. Or assume that the witnesses summoned in force In Exchequer, Queen's Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce, Have perjured themselves as a matter of course (Said I to myself said I). Ere I go into court I will read my brief through (Said I to myself said I), And I'll never take work I'm unable to do (Said I to myself said I). My learned profession I'll never disgrace By taking a fee with a grin on my face, When I haven't been there to attend to the case (Said I to myself said I!). In other professions in which men engage (Said I to myself said I), The Army, the Navy, the Church, and the Stage (Said I to myself said I), Professional license, if carried too far, Your chance of promotion will certainly mar, And I fancy the rule might apply to the Bar (Said I to myself said II). The Family Fool. 149 THE FAMILY FOOL. Oh! a private buffoon is a light-hearted loon, If you listen to popular rumor; From morning to night he's so joyous and bright, And he bubbles with wit and good-humor! He's so quaint and so terse, both in prose and in verse; Yet though people forgive his transgres- sion, There are one or two rules that all Family Fools Must observe, if they love their profession. There are one or two rules Half a dozen, maybe, That all family fools, Of whatever degree, Must observe, if they love their profession. If you wish to succeed as a jester, you'll need To consider each person auricular: What is all right for B would quite scandal- ize C (For C is so very particular); 150 Sonys of a Saioyard. And D may be dull, and E's very thick skull Is as empty of brains as a ladle; While F is F sharp, and will cry with a carp, That he's knows your best joke from his cradle! When your humor they flout, You can't let yourself go; And it does put you out When a person says, "Oh! I have known that old joke from my cradle!" If your master is surly, from getting up early (And tempers are short in the morning), An inopportune joke is enough to provoke Him to give you, at once, a month's warn- ing. Then if you refrain, he is at you again, For he likes to get value for money. He'll ask then and there, with an insolent stare, If you know that you're paid to be funny?" It adds to the task Of a merryman's place, When your principal asks, With a scowl on his face. If you know that you're paid to be funny?" The Family Fool 151 Comes a Bishop, maybe, or a solemn D.D. Oh, beware of his anger provoking! Better not pull his hair don't stick pins in his chair; He don't understand practical joking. If the jests that you crack have an orthodox smack, You may get a bland smile from these sages; But should it, by chance, be imported from France, Half-a-crown is stopped out of your wages! It's a general rule, Though your zeal it may quench, If the Family Fool Makes a joke that's too French, Half-a-crown is stopped out of his wages! Though your head it may rack with a bilious attack, And your senses with toothache you're losing, Don't be mopy and flat they don't fine you for that, If you're properly quaint and amusing! Though your wife ran away with a soldier that day, And took with her your trifle of money; 152 Songs of a Savoyard. Bless your hea*t, they don't mind they're exceedingly kind They don't blame you as long as you're funny! It's a comfort to feel If your partner should flit, Though you suffer a deal, They don't mind it a bit They don't blame you so long as you're funny! The Pli ilosophic Pill 153 THE PHILOSOPHIC PILL. F\e wisdom from the East and from the West, That's subject to no academic rule: You may find it in the jeering of a jest, Or distil it from the folly of a fool. I can teach you with a quip, if I've a mind! 1 can trick you into learning with a laugh; Oh, winnow all my folly, and you'll find A grain or two of truth among the chaff! I can set a braggart quailing with a quip, The upstart I can wither with a whim; He may wear a merry laugh upon his lip, But his laughter has an echo that is grim. When they're offered to the world in merry guise, Unpleasant truths are swallowed with a will For he who'd make his fellow creatures wise Should always gild the philosophic pill! 154 Songs of a Savoyard. THE CONTEMPLATIVE SENTRY. When all night long a chap remains On sentry-go, to chase monotony He exercises of his brains, That is, assuming that he's got any. Though never nurtured in the lap Of luxury, yet I admonish you, I am an intellectual chap, And think of things that would astonish you. I often think it's comical How Nature always does contrive That every boy and every gal That's born into the world alive Is either a little Liberal, Or else a little Conservative! Fal lal la! When in that house M.P's divide, If they've a brain and cerebellum, too, They've got to leave that brain outside, And vote just as their leaders tell 'em to. But then the prospect of a lot Of statesmen, all in close proximity, The Contemplative Sentry. 155 A-thinking for themselves, is what No man can face with equanimity. Then let's rejoice with loud Fal lal That Nature wisely does contrive That every hoy and every gal That's horn into the world alive, Is either a little Liberal, Or else a little Conservative! Fal lal la! 156 Songs of a Savoyard. SOERY HER LOT. Sorry her lot who loves too well, Heavy the heart that hopes but vainly, Sad are the sighs that own the spell Uttered hy eyes that speak too plainly; Heavy the sorrow that bows the kead When Love is alive and Hope is dead I Sad is the hour when sets the Sun- Dark is the night to Earth's poor daughters When to the ark the wearied one Flies from the empty waste of waters! Heavy the sorrow that bows the head When Love is alive and Hope is dead! The Judge's Song. 157 THE JUDGE'S SONG. When I, good friends, was called to the Bar, I'd an appetite fresh and hearty, But I was, as many young barristers are, An impecunious party. I'd a swallow-tail coat of a beautiful blue A brief which I bought of a booby A couple of shirts and a collar or two, And a ring that looked like a ruby! In Westminster Hall I danced a dance, Like a semi-despondent fury; For I thought I should never hit on a chance Of addressing a British Jury But I soon got tired of third class journeys, And dinners of bread and water; So I fell in love with a rich attorney's Elderly, ugly daughter. The rich attorney, he wiped his eyes, And replied to my fond professions: "You shall reap the reward of your enter- prise, At the Bailey and Middlesex Sessions, 158 Songs of a Savoyard. You'll soon get used to her looks," said he, "And a very nice girl you'll find her She may very well pass for forty-three In the dusk, with a light behind her!" The rich attorney was as good as his word: The briefs came trooping gaily, And every day my voice was heard At the Sessions or Ancient Bailey. All thieves who could my fees afford Relied on my orations, And many a burglar I've restored To his friends and his relations. At length I became as rich as the Gurneys An incubus then I thought her, So I threw over that rich attorney's Elderly, ugly daughter. The rich attorney my character high Tried vainly to disparage And now, if you please, I'm ready to try This Breach of Promise of Marriage! True Diffidence. 159 TRUE DIFFIDENCE. My boy, you may take it from me, That of all the afflictions accurst With which a man's saddled And hampered and addled, A diffident nature's the worst. Though clever as clever can be A Crichton of early romance You must stir it and stump it, And blow your own trumpet, Or, trust me, you haven't a chance. Now take, for example, my case: I've a bright intellectual brain In all London city There's no one so witty I've thought so again and again. I've a highly intelligent face My features cannot be denied But, whatever I try, sir, I fail in and why, sir? I'm modesty personified! 160 Songs of a Savoyard. As a poet, I'm tender and quaint I've passion and fervor and grace From Ovid and Horace To Swinburne and Morris, The}' all of them take a back place. Then I sing and I play and I paint; Though none are accomplished as I, To say so were treason : You ask me the reason? I'm diffident, modest and shy! The Highly Respectable Gondolier. 101 THE HIGHLY RESPECTABLE GON- DOLIER. I stole the Prince, and I brought him here, And left him, gaily prattling With a highly respectable Gondolier, Who promised the Royal babe to rear, And teach him the trade of a timoneer With his own beloved bratling. Both of the babes were strong and stout, And, considering all things, clever. Of that there is no manner of doubt No probable, possible shadow of doubt No possible doubt whatever. 162 Songs of a Savoyard. Time sped, and when at the end of a year I sought that infant cherished, That highly respectable Gondolier Was lying a corpse on his humble bier ,1 dropped a Grand Inquisitor's tear That Gondolier had perished. A taste for drink, combined with gout, Had doubled him up for ever. Of that there is no manner of doubt No probable, possible shadow of doubt No possible doubt whatever. But owing, I'm much disposed to fear, To his terrible taste for tippling, That highly respectable Gondolier Could never declare with a mind sincere Which of the two was his offspring dear, And which the Royal stripling! Which was which he could never make out, Despite his best endeavor. Of that there is no manner of doubt No probable, possible shadow of doubt No possible doubt whatever. The Hiylily Respectable Gondolier. 16$ The children followed his old career (This statement can't be parried) Of a highly respectable Gondolier: Well, one of the two (who will soon be here) But which of the two is not quite clear Is the Royal Prince you married! Search in and out and round about And you'll discover never A tale so free from every doubt All probable, possible shadow of doubt All possible doubt whatever! 164 Songs of a Savoyard. DON'T FORGET. Now, Marco dear, My wishes hear: While you're away It's understood You will be good, And not too gay. To every trace Of maiden grace You will he blind, And will not glance By any chance On womankind! If you are wise, You'll shut your eyes 'Till we arrive, And not address A lady less Than forty-five; You'll please to frown On every gown That you may see; And 0, my pet, You won't forget You've married me! Don't Forget 165 0, my darling, 0, my pet, Whatever else you may forget, In yonder isle beyond the sea, 0, don't forget you've married me! You'll lay your head Upon your bed At set of sun. You will not sing Of anything To any one: You'll sit and mope All day, I hope, And shed a tear Upon the life Your little wife Is passing here! And if so be You think of me, Please tell the moon: I'll read it all In rays that fall On the lagoon: You'll be so kind As tell the wind 166 Songs of a Savoyard. How you may be, And send me words By little birds To comfort me! And 0, my darling, 0, my pet, Whatever else you may forget, In yonder isle beyond the sea, O, don't forget you've married me! The Darned Mounseer. 167 THE DARNED MOUNSEER. I shipped, d'ye see, in a Revenue sloop, And, off Cape Finistere, A merchantman we see, A Frenchman, going free, So we made for the bold Mounseer. D'ye see? We made for the bold Mounseer! But she proved to be a Frigate and she up with her ports, And fires with a thirty-two! It come uncommon near, But we answered with a cheer, Which paralyzed the Parley-voo, D'ye see? Which paralyzed the Parley-voo! Then our Captain he up and he says, says he, "That chap we need not fear, We can take her, if we like, She is sartin for to strike, For she's only a darned Mounseer, D'ye see ? She's only a darned Mounseer! 168 Songs of a Savoyard. But to fight a French fal-lal it's like hittin' of a gal It's a lubberly thing for to do; For we, with all our faults, Why, we're sturdy British salts, While she's but a Parley-voo, D'ye see? A miserable Parley-voo!" So we up with our helm, and we scuds before the breeze, As we gives a compassionating cheer; Froggee answers with a shout As he sees us go about, Which was grateful of the poor Mounseer, D'ye see? Which was grateful of the poor Mounseer! And I'll wager in their joy they kissed each other's cheek (Which is what them furriners do), And they blessed their lucky stars We were hardy British tars Who had pity on a poor Parley-voo, D'ye see? Who had pity on a poor Parley-voo! The Humane Mikado. 169 THE HUMANE MIKADO. A more humane Mikado neve" Did in Japan exist, To nobody second, I'm certainly reckoned A true philanthropist, It is my very humane endeavor To make, to some extent, Each evil liver A running river Of harmless merriment. My object all sublime I shall achieve in time To let the punishment fit the crime The punishment fit the crime; And make each prisoner pent Unwillingly represent A source of innocent merriment, Of innocent merriment! All prosy dull society sinners, Who chatter and bleat and bore, Are sent to hear sermons From mystical Germans 170 Songs of a Savoyard. Who preach from ten to four, The amateur tenor, whose vocal villanies All desire to shirk, Shall, during off hours, Exhibit his powers To Madame Tussaud's waxwork. The lady who dyes a chemical yellow, Or stains her grey hair puce, Or pinches her figger, Is blacked like a nigger With permanent walnut juice. The idiot who, in railway carriages, Scribbles on window panes, We only suffer To ride on a buffer In Parliamentary trains. My object all sublime I shall achieve in time To let the punishment fit the crime The punishment fit the crime; And make each prisoner pent Unwillingly represent A source of innocent merriment, Of innocent merriment! The advertising quack who wearies With tales of countless cures, The Humane Mikado. 171 His teeth, I've enacted, Shall all be extracted By terrified amateurs. The music hall singer attends a series Of masses and fugues and "ops" By Bach, interwoven With Sophr and Beethoven, At classical Monday Pops. The billiard sharp whom any one catches, His doom's extremely hard He's made to dwell In a dungeon cell On a spot that's always barred. And there he plays extravagant matches In fitless finger-stalls, On a cloth untrue With a twisted cue, And elliptical billiard balls! My object all sublime I shall achieve in time To let the punishment fit the crime The punishment fit the crime; And make each prisoner pent Unwillingly represent A source of innocent merriment, Of innocent merriment! 172 Songs of a Savoyard. THE HOUSE OF PEERS. When Britain really ruled the waves (In good Queen Bess's time) The House of Peers made no pretence To intellectual eminence, Or scholarship sublime; Yet Britain won her proudest bays In good Queen Bess's glorious days! When Wellington thrashed Bonaparte, As every child can tell, The House of Peers, throughout the war, Did nothing in particular, And did it very well; Yet Britain set the world a-blaze In good King George's glorious days! And while the House of Peers withholds Its legislative hand, And noble statesmen do not itch To interfere with matters which They do not understand, As bright will shine Great Britain's rays, As in King George's glorious days! The .Esthete. 173 THE AESTHETE. If you're anxious for to shine in the high aesthetic line, as a man of culture rare, You must get up all the germs of the tran- scendental terms, and plant them everywhere. You must lie upon the daisies and discourse in novel phrases of your complicated state of mind, The meaning doesn't matter if it's only idle chatter of a transcendental kind. 174 Songs of a Savoyard. And everyone will say, As you walk your mystic way, "If this young man expresses himself in terms too deep for me, Why, what a very singularly deep young man this deep young man must be!" Be eloquent in praise of the very dull old days which have long since passed away, And convince 'em if you can, that the reign of good Queen Anne was Culture's palmiest day. Of course you will pooh-pooh whatever's fresh and new, and declare it's crude and mean, And that art stopped short in the cultivated court of the Empress Josephine. And everyone will say, As you walk your mystic way, lc Li that's not good enough for him which is good enough for me, Why, what a very cultivated kind of youth this kind of youth must be!" Then a sentimental passion of a vegetable fashion must excite your languid spleen, The .Esthete. 175 An attachment a la Plato for a bashful young potato, or a not-too-French French bean. Though the Philistines may jostle, you will rank as an apostle in the high aesthetic band, If you walk down Picadilly with a poppy or a lily in your mediaeval hand. And everyone will say, As you walk your flowery way, "If he's content with a vegetable love which would certainly not suit me, Why, what a most particularly pure young man this pure young man must be!" 176 Songs of a Savoyard. PROPER PRIDE. The Sun, whose rays Are all ablaze With ever living glory, Does not deny His majesty He scorns to tell a story! He don't exclaim "I blush for shame, So kindly be indulgent,'* But, fierce and bold, In fiery gold, He glories all effulgent! I mean to rule the earth, As he the sky We really know our worth, The Sun and I! Observe his flame, That placid dame. The Moon's Celestial Highness; There's not a trace Upon her face Of diffidence or shyness: Proper Pride. 17 1 She borrows light That, through the night, Mankind may all acclaim her! And, truth to tell, She lights up well, So I, for one, don't blame her! Ah, pray make no mistake, We are not shy; We're very wide awake, The Moon and I! 178 Songs of a Savoyard. THE BAFFLED GRUMBLER. Whene'er I poke Sarcastic joke Replete with malice spiteful, The people vile Politely smile And vote me quite delightful! Now, when a wight Sits up all night Ill-natured jokes devising, And all his wiles Are met with smiles, It's hard, there's no disguising! Oh, don't the days seem lank and long When all goes right and nothing goes wrong, And isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at! When German bands From music stands Play Wagner imperfectly I bid them go They don't say no, But off they trot directly! The Baffled U rambler. The organ boys They stop their noise j With readiness surprising, And grinning herds Of hurdy-gurds Eetire apologizing! Oh, don't the days seem lank and long When all goes right and nothing goes wrong, And isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at! I've offered gold, In sums untold, To all who'd contradict me I've said I'd pay A pound a day To any one who kicked me I've bribed with toys Great vulgar boys To utter something spiteful, But, bless you, no! They irill be so Confoundedly politeful! In short, these aggravating lads They tickle my tastes, they feed my fads, They give me this and they give me that, And I've nothing whatever to grumble at I 180 Songs of a Savoyard. THE WORKING MONARCH. Rising early in the morning, We proceed to light our fire; Then our Majesty adorning In its work-a-day attire, We embark without delay On the duties of the day. First, we polish off some batches Of political dispatches, And foreign politicians circumvent; Then, if business isn't heavy, We may hold a Royal levee, Or ratify some acts of Parliament; Then we probably review the household troops With the usual "Shalloo humps!" and "Shal- loo hoops!" Or receive with ceremonial and state An interesting Eastern Potentate. After that we generally Go and dress our private v.nlet (It's rather a nervous duty he's a touchy little man) The Working Monarch. 181 Write some letters literary For our private secretary He is shaky in his spelling, so we help him if we can. Then, in view of cravings inner, We go down and order dinner; Or we polish the Regalia and the Coronation Plate- Spend an hour in titivating All our Gentlemen-in- Waiting; Or we run on little errands for the Ministers of State. Oh, philosophers may sing Of the troubles of a King; Yet the duties are delightful, and the privi- leges great; But the privilege and pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is to run on little errands for the Ministers of State! After luncheon (making merry On a bun and glass of sherry), If we've nothing particular to do, We may make a Proclamation, Or receive a Deputation Then we possibly create a Peer or two. 182 Songs of a Savoyard. Then -we help a fellow creature on his path With the Garter or the Thistle or the Bath: Or we dress and toddle off in semi-State To a festival, a function, or a fete. Then we go and stand as sentry At the Palace (private entry), Marching hither, marching thither, up and down and to and fro, While the warrior on duty Goes in search of beer and beauty {And it generally happens that he hasn't far to go). He relieves us, if he's able, Just in time to lay the table, Then we dine and serve the coffee; and at half-past twelve or one, With a pleasure that's emphatic, We retire to our attic With the gratifying feeling that our duty has been done. Oh, philosophers may sing Of the troubles of a King, But of pleasures there are many and of trou- bles there are none; And the culminating pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is the gratifying feeling that our duty has been done! The Rover's Apology. 183 THE ROVER'S APOLOGY. Oh, gentlemen, listen, I pray; Though I own that ray heart has been ranging, Of nature the laws I obey, For nature is constantly changing. The moon in her phases is found, The time and the wind and the weather, The months in succession come round, And you don't find two Mondays together. Consider 1 lie moral, I pray, Nor bring a young fellow to sorrow, Who loves thi: young lady to-day, And loves that young lady to-morrow. You cannot eat breakfast all day, Nor is it the act of a sinner, When breakfast is taken away To turn your attention to dinner; And it's not in the range of belief, That you could hold him as a glutton, Who, when he is tired of beef, Determines to tackle the mutton. But this T am ready to say, If it will diminish their sorrow, I'll marry this lady to-day, And I'll marry that lady to-morrow! 184 Songs of a Savoyard. WOULD YOU KNOW? Would you know the kind of maid Sets my heart a flame-a? Eyes must be downcast and staid, Cheeks must flush for shame-a! She may neither dance nor sing, But, demure in everything, Hang her head in modest way, With pouting lips that seem to say '"Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, Though I die of shame-a." Please you, that's the kind of maid Sets my heart a flame-a! When a maid is bold and gay, With a tongue goes clang-a, Flaunting it in brave array, Maiden may go hang-a! Sunflower gay and hollyhock Never shall my garden stock; Mine the blushing rose of May, With pouting lips that seem to say, "Oh, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, Though I die for shame-a!" Please you, that's the kind of maid Sets mv heart a flame-a! The Magnet and the Churn. 185 THE MAGNET AND THE CHURN. A magnet hung in a hardware shop, And all around was a loving crop Of scissors and needles, nails and knives, Offering love for all their lives; But for iron the magnet felt no whim, Though he charmed iron, it charmed not him, From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, For he'd set his love on a Silver Churn! 180 Songs of a Savoyard. His most aesthetic, Very magnetic Fancy took this turn "If I can wheedle A knife or needle, Why not a Silver Churn?" And Iron and Steel expressed surprise, The needles opened their well drilled eyes, The pen-knives felt "shut up," no doubt, The scissors declared themselves "cut out." The kettles they boiled with rage, 'tis said, While every nail went off its head, And hither and thither began to roam. Till a hammer came up and drove it home, While this magnetic Peripatetic Lover he lived to learn, By no endeavor, Can Magnet ever Attract a Silver Churn! Braid the Raven Hair. 187 BKAID THE RAVEN HAIR. Braid the raven hair, Weave the supple tress, Deck the maiden fair In her loveliness; Paint the pretty face, Dye the coral lip, Emphasize the grace Of her ladyship! Art and nature, thus allied, Go to make a pretty bride! Sit with downcast eye, Let it brim with dew; Try if you can cry, We will do so, too. When you're summoned, start Like a frightened roe; Flutter, little heart. Color, come and go! Modesty at marriage tide Well becomes a pretty bride! H88 Songs of a Savoyard. IS LIFE A BOON? Is life a boon? If so, it must befal That Death, whene'er he call, Must call too soon. Though fourscore years he give, Yet one would pray to live Another moon! What kind of plaint have I, Who perish in July? I might have had to die, Perchance, in June! Is life a thorn? Then count it not a whit! Man is well done with it; Soon as he's horn He should all means essay To put the plague away; And I, war-worn, Poor captured fugitive, My life most gladly give I might have had to live Another morn! A Mirage. 189 A MIRAGE. Were I thy bride, Then the whole world beside Were not too wide To hold my wealth of love- Were I thy bride! Upon thy breast My loving head would rest, As on her nest The tender turtle dove Were I thy bride! This heart of mine Would be one heart with thine, And in that shrine Our happiness would dweh~ Were I thy bride! And all day long Our lives should be a song: No grief, no wrong Should make my heart rebel- Were I thy bride! 190 Songs of a Savoyard. The silvery flute, The melancholy lute, Were night owl's hoot To my low-whispered coo- Were I thy bride! The skylark's trill Were but discordance shrill To the soft thrill Of wooing as I'd woo Were I thy bride! The rose's sigh Were as a carrion's cry To lullaby Such as I'd sing to thee, Were I thy bride! A feather's press Were leaden heaviness To my caress. But then, unhappily, I'm not thy bride! A Merry Madrigal. 191 A MERRY MADRIGAL. Brightly dawns our wedding day; Joyous hour, we give thee greeting! Whither, whither art thou fleeting? Fickle moment, prithee stay! What though mortal joys be hollow? Pleasures come, if sorrows follow: Though the tocsin sound, ere long, Ding dong! Ding dong! Yet until the shadows fall Over one and over all, Sing a merry madrigal Fal la! Let us dry the ready tear; Though the hours are surely creeping, Little need for woeful weeping, Till the sad sundown is near. All must sip the cup of sorrow I to-day and thou to-morrow: This the close of every song Ding donsr! Ding dong! What, tliough solemn shadows fall, Sooner, later, over all ? Sing a merry madrigal Fal la! 192 Songs of a Savoyard. THE LOVE-SICK BOY. When first my old, old love I knew, My bosom welled with joy; My riches at her feet I threw; I was a love-sick boy! No terms seemed too extravagant Upon her to employ I used to mope, and sigh, and pant, Just like a love-sick boy! But joy incessant palls the sense; And love, unchanged will cloy, And she became a bore intense Unto her love-sick boy! With fitful glimmer burnt my flame, And I grew cold and coy, At last, one morning, I became Another's love-sick boy! HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. PHIT.ADia.PHLA.. PA. THE) RISE OP THE DUTCH REPUBLIC (a History). By John Lothrop Motley. A new ana handsome library edition of a Grand Historical Work. Em- bellished with over 50 full-page half-tone Engrav- lags. Complete In two volumes orer 1,600 pages. Crown 8ve. Cloth, per set, $2.00. Half Morocco, gilt top, per set, $3.25. QUO VADIS. A tale of the time of Nero, by Heoryk Slenkiewicz. Complete and unabridged. Trans- lated by Dr. S. A. BInton, author of "Ancient Egypt," etc., and S. Malevsky, with Illustrations by M. DcLIpman. Crown 8vo. l*th, ornamental, 515 pages, $1.25. MANUAL OF MYTHOLOGY. For the us* of Schools, Art Students, and General Readers, by Alexander S. Murray, Department of Greek and Roman An- tiquities, British Museum. With Notes, Revis- ions, aad Additions by William H. Klapp, Head- master of the Protestant Episcopal Academy, Philadelphia. With 200 illustrations, and an ex- haustive Index. Large 12mo., 450 pages, $1.25. "It has been acknowledged the best work on the sabject t* b* found In a concise form, and, as It embodies the results of the latest researches and discoveries In ancient mythologies, It Is superior fer school and general purposes as a band book to any of the so-tailed standard works." THE AGE OF FABLE: OR BEAUTIES OF MYTHOL- OGY. By Thomas Bulflneh, with Notea. Revis- ions, and Additions by William H. Klapp, Head- master of the Protestant Episcopal Academy, Philadelphia. With 200 illustrations and an ex- haust ire Index. Large 12mo., 450 pages, $1.25. Tail work has always teitt regarded as classical authority. "The Greclivo mythology Is so intimately con- nected with tli* work of the greatest poets that It will continue to be Interesting as long as clas- sical poetry exists, and must form an Indispen- sable part of the education of the man of litera- ture and of the gentleman. tdmmnd Burke. TAINK'B ENGLISH LITERATURE, translated from the French by Henry Van Lava, Illustrated with 20 fine photogravure portraits. Beat English library edition, four volumes, cloth, full gilt, octavo, per set, $10.00. Half calf, per act. $12.50. Cheaper edition, with frontispiece Illustrations only, cloth, paper titles, per set, $7.50. STEPHEN. A SOLDIER OF THE CROSS, by Florence Morse Kingsley, author of "Titus, a Comrade of the Cross." "Since Ben-Hur no story has so viv- idly portrayed the times of Christ." Tke Boott- teilcr. Cloth, 12mo., 369 pages. $1.25. HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. PAUL. A HERALD OF THE CROSS, by Florence Morse Kingsley. "A vivid and picturesque nar- rative of the life and times of the great Apostle." Cloth, 12mo., 450 pages, $1.50. AMERICAN POLITICS (non-Partlsan), by Hon. Thomas V. Cooper. A history of all the Political Parties with their views and records on all Important questions. All political platforms from the be- ginning to date. Great Speeches on Great issues. Parliamentary Practice and tabulated history of chronological events. A library without this work Is deficient. 8vo., 750 pages. Cloth, $3.00. Full Sheep Library style, $4.00. VIC. THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FOX TERRIER, by Marie More Marsh. "A fitting companion to that other wonderful book, 'Black Beauty,' " Cloth, 12m., 50 cent*. WOMAN'S WORK IN THE) HOME, by Archdeacon Far- rar. Cloth, small 18mo., 50 cents. TMB APOCRYPHAL BOOKS OF THE NEW TESTA- MENT, being the gospels and epistles used by the followers of Christ In the first three centuries after his death, and rejected by the Council of Nice, A. D. 325. Cloth. 8vo., Illustrated, $2.00 THE PILGRIM'S PROGRESS, a* Juhn Banyan wrote it. A fac-slmlle reproduction of the first edition, pub- lished In 1678. Antique cloth, 12mo., $1.25. THE FAIREST OF THE FAIR, by Hlldegarde Haw- thorne. "The grand-daughter of Nathaniel Haw- thorne possesses a full share of his wonderful genius." Cloth, 16mo., $1.25. A LOVER IN HOMESPUN, by F. Clifford Smith. In- teresting tales of adventure and home life In Can- ada. Cloth, 12mo., 75 cents. THE GRAMMAR OF PALMISTRY, by Katharine St. Hill. Cloth, 12mo., illustrated, 75 cents. AROUND THE WORLD IN EIGHTY MINUTES. Con- tains over 100 photographs of the most famous places and edifices with descriptive text. Cloth, 50 cents. SHAKESPEARE'S COMPLETE WORKS, with a biog- raphical sketch by Mary Cowden Clark, embel- lished with 64 Boydell, and numerous other Illus- trations, four volumes, over 2,000 pages. Half Morocco, 12mo., boxed, per set, $3.00. THE CARE OF CHILDREN, by Elisabeth R. Scovll. "An excellent book of the most vital Interest. Cloth, 12mo., $1.00. PREPARATION FOR MOTHERHOOD, by Elisabeth E. Scovll. Cloth, 12mo., 320 pages, $1.00. HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. NAMES FOR CHILDREN, by Elisabeth Rol.nson Sco- vll, author of "The Care of Children," "Prepara- tion for Motherhood." In family life there Is no question of greater weight or Importance than naming the baby. The author gives much good advice and many suggestions on the subject. Cloth, 12mo., $ .40. TRIP AND TRIXY, by John Habberton, author of "Helen's Babies." The story Is replete with vivid and spirited scenes, and is comparatively the hap- piest and most delightful work Mr. Habberton has yet written. Cloth, 12mo., $ .60. 8HE WHO WILL NOT WHEN SHE MAT, by Eleanor O. Walton. Half-tone Illustrations by C. P. M. Rumford. "An exquisite prose idyl." Cloth, (lit top, deckle edges, $1.00. A SON OF THE CAROLINAS. by C. E. Satterthwalte. A pure romance introducing a lifelike portrayal of fife on the coast islands of the Palmetto State. Cloth, 12mo., 280 pages, 50 cents. THE DAT BREAKETH, by Fannie Alrlcks Shugert. A tale of Rome and Jerusalem in the time of Christ. Cloth, 12iuo., 260 pages, 50 ceats. ALTEMDS' CONVERSATION DICTIONARIES. Eng- lish-German, English-French. "Combined diction- aries and phrase books." Pocket size, each $1.00. WHAT WOMEN SHOULD KNOW. A woman's book about women. By Mrs. E. B. Duffy. Cloth, 320 pages, 76 cents. DORE'S MASTERPIECES. THE DORE BIBLE GALLBRT. A complete panorama of Bible History, containing 100 full page engrav- ings by Gustave Dore. MILTON'S PARADISE LOST, with 60 full page engrav- ings by Gustave Dore. DANTE'S INFERNO, with 76 full page engravings by Gustave Dore. DANTE'S PURGATORT AND PARADISE, with full page engravings by Gustave Dore. Cloth, ornamental, large quarto (9 x 12 Inches), each $2.00. TENNTSON's IDTLLS OF THE KING, with 87 full page engravings by Gustave Dore. Cloth, full gilt, large Imperial quarto (llx!4Va Inches), $4.60. THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER, by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, with 40 full page engravings by Gustave Dore. Cloth, full gilt, large imperial quarto (11x14% Inches), $3.00. HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. BUNYAN'S PILGRIM'S PROGRESS, with 100 engrav- ings by Frederick Barnard and others. Cloth, small quarto (9x10 Inches), $1.00. DICKENS' CHILD'S HISTORY OP ENGLAND, with 75 fine engravings by famous artists. Cloth, small quarto, boxed (9x10 Inches), $1.00. BIBLE PICTURES AND STORIES, 100 full page en- gravings. Cloth, small quarto (7x9 Inches), $1.00. MY ODD LITTLE FOLK, some rhymes and verses about them, by Malcolm Douglass. Numerous original engravings. Cloth, small quarto (7x9 inches), $1.00. PAUL AND VIRGINIA, by Bernardin de St. Pierre, with 125 engravings by Maurice Lelolr. Cloth, small quarto (9x10), $1.00. LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF ROBINSON CRUSOE, with 120 original engravings by Walter Paget. Cloth, octavo (7^x9%), $1.50. ALTHMUS' ILLUSTRATED LIBRARY OF STANDARD AUTHORS. Olotk, Twelve Mo. Size, 5%x7% Inches. Each $1.00. TALKS FROM SHAKESPEARE, by Charles and Mary Lamb, with 155 Illustrations by famous artists. PAUL AND VIRGINIA, by Bernardin de St. Pierre, with 125 engravings by Maurice Leloir. ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND, AND THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS AND WHAT ALICE FOUND THERE, by Lewis Carroll. Com- plete in one volume with 92 engravings by John Tennlel. LUCILE, by Owen Meredith, with numerous illustration! by George Du Maurler, au thor of Trilby. BLACK BEAUTY, by Anna Sewell, with nearly 50 origi- nal engravings. SCARLET LETTER, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, with numerous original full-page and text illustrations. THE HOUSE OF THE SEVEN GABLES, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, with numerous original full-page and text illustrations. BATTLES OF THE WAR FOR INDEPENDENCE, by Prescott Holmes, with 70 illustrations. BATTLES OF THE WAR FOR THE UNION, by Pr- cott Holmes, with 80 illustrations. THE SONG OF HIAWATHA, by Henry W. LongfelUw, with 100 illustrations. HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. ALTEMUS' YOUNG PEOPLES' LIBRARY. Price, 50 cents each. ROBINSON CRUSOE: (Chiefly In words of one sylla- ble). His life and strange, surprising adventures, with 70 beautiful Illustrations by Walter Paget. ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND, with 42 Illustrations by John Tennlel. "The most delight- ful of children's stories. Elegant and delicious nonsense." Saturday Review. THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS AND WHAT ALICE FOUND THERE; a companion to "Allc In Wonderland," with 50 Illustrations by John Tennlel. BUNYAN'S PILGRIM'S PROGRESS, with 60 fall paf* and text Illustrations. A CHILD'S STORY OF THE BIBLE, with 72 foil pace illustrations. A CHILD'S LIFE OF CHRIST, with 49 Illustrations. God has implanted in the Infant heart a desire to hear of Jesus, and children are early attracted and sweetly riveted by the wonderful Story of the Master from the Manger to the Throne. WISS FAMILY ROBINSON, with 50 Illustrations. The father of the family tells the tale of the vicissi- tudes through which he and his wife and chil- dren pass, the wonderful discoveries made and dangers encountered. The book Is full of Interest and instruction. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS AND THE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA, with 70 Illustrations. Every American boy and girl should be acquainted with the story f the life of the great discoverer, with Its struggles, adventures, and trials. THE STORY OF EXPLORATION AND DISCOVERY IN AFRICA, with 80 illustrations. Records the experiences of adventures and discoveries In developing the "Dark Continent," from the early days of Bruce and Mungo Park down to Living- stone and Stanley, and the heroes of our own times. No present can be more acceptable than such a volume as this, where courage, Intrepidity, resource, and devotion are so admirably mingled. HID FABLES OF ^GSOP. Compiled from the best ac- cepted sources: With 62 illustrations. The fables of ^sop are among the very earliest compositions of this kind, and probably have never been ur- passed for point and brevity. HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. Altemut' Young Peoples' Library Continued. Price, 60 centa each. GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Adapted for young readers, with 50 Illustrations. MOTHER GOOSE'S RHYMES, JINGLES AND FAIRY TALES, with 234 Illustrations. LIVES OF THE PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES, by Prescott Holmes. With portraits of the Presidents and also of the unsuccessful can- didates for the office; as well as the ablest of the Cabinet officers. It Is just the book for Intelli- gent boys, and It will help to make them intelli- gent and patriotic citizens. THE STORY OF ADVENTURE IN TH FROZEN SEAS, with 70 Illustrations. By Prescott Holmes. We have here brought together the records of the attempts to reach the North Pole. The book hows how much can be accomplished by steady perseverance and Indomitable pluck. ILLUSTRATED NATURAL HISTORY, by the Rev. J. G. Wood, with 80 Illustrations. This author has done more to popularize the study of natural his- tory than any other writer. The illustrations are striking and life-like. A CHILD'S HISTORY OF ENGLAND, by Charles Dick- ens, with 60 Illustrations. Tired of listening to his children memorize the twaddle of old fashioned English history the author coveted the ground In his own peculiar and happy style for his own children's use. When the work was published Itt success was Instantaneous. BLACK BEAUTY; THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A HORSE, by Anna Sewell, with 60 Illustrations. A work sure to educate boys and girls to treat with kindness all members of the animal king- dom. Recognized as the greatest story of animal life extant. THE ARABIAN NIGHTS ENTERTAINMENTS, with 130 Illustrations. Contains the most favorably known of the stories. GRIMM'S FAIRY TALES. With 66 Illustrations. The Tales are a wonderful collection, as Inter- esting, from a literary point of view, as they art delightful as stories. FLOWER FABLES. By Louisa May Alcott. With nu- merous Illustrations, full page and text. A series of very Interesting fairy tales by the most charming of American story-tellers. HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. Altemas' Young Peoples' Library Continued. Price, 50 cents each. ANDERSEN'S FAIRY TALES. By Hani Christian An- dersen. With 77 Illustrations. The spirit of high moral teaching, and the deli- cacy of sentiment, feeling, and expression that pervade these tales make these wonderful crea- tions not only attractive to the young, but equally acceptable to those of mature years, who are able to understand their real significance and appre- ciate the depth of their meaning. GRANDFATHER'S CHAIR: A HISTORY FOR YOUTH. By Nathaniel Hawthorne. With 60 Illustrations. The story of America from the landing of the Puritans to the acknowledgment without reserve of the Independence of the United States, told with all the elegance, simplicity, grace, clearness, and force for which Hawthorne Is conspicuously noted. ALTEMUS' DEVOTIONAL SERIES. Standard Religions Literature Appropriately Bound in Handy Volume Size. Each Volume contains Illuminated Title, Portrait of Author, and Appropriate Illustrations. White Vellum, Gold and Monotints, Boxed, each 60 cents. 1 KEPT FOR THE MASTER'S USE, by Frances Rid- ley Havergal. "Will perpetuate her name." 2 MY KING AND HIS SERVICE, OR DAILY THOUGHTS FOR THE KING'S CHILDUK.V. by Frances Rldloy Havergal. "Simple, tender, gentle, and full of Christian love." 5 MY POINT OF VIEW. Selections from the works of Professor Henry Drummond. 4 OF THE IMITATION OF CHRIST, by Thomas A'Kempis. "With the exception of the Bible it Is probably the book most read in Christian litera- ture." 6 ADDRESSES, by Professor Henry Drummond. "In- telligent sympathy with the Christian's need." HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. Altemue' Devotional Series Continued. Price, 50 cents each. 6 NATURAL LAW IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD, by Professor Henry Drummoud. "A most notable book which has earned for the author a world- wide reputation." T ADDRESSES, by the Rt. Rev. Phllllns Brooks. "Has exerted a marked Influence over the rising gener- ation." 8 ABIDE IN CHRIST. Thought* on the Blessed Life of Fellowship with the Son of God. By the Rev. Andrew Murray. "It cannot fall t stimulate and cheer." Bpurgeon. 9 LIKE CHRIST. Thoughts on the Blessed Life of Conformity to the Son of God. By the Rev. An- drew Murray. A sequel to "Abide In Christ." "May be read with comfort and edification by all." 10 WITH CHRIST IN THE SCHOOL OF PRAYER, by the Rev. Andrew Murray. "The best work on prayer In the language." 11 HOLY IN CHRIST. Thoughts on the calling of God's Children to be Holy as He is Holy. By the Rev. Andrew Murray. "This siicred theme Is treated Scripturaliy and robustly without spurious sentl- luentalism." 12 THE MANLINESS OF CHRIST, by Thomas Hughes, author of "Tom Brown's School Days," etc. "Evi- dences of the subllmest courage and manliness In the boyhood, ministry, and In the last acts of Christ's life." 18 ADDRESSES TO YOUNG MEN, by the Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. Seven addresses on common vices and their results. 14 THE PATHWAY OF SAFETY, by the Rt. Rev. Ashton Oxenden, D. D. Some words of advice and encouragement on the text "What Must I do to be Saved." 16 THE CHRISTIAN LIFE, by the Rt. Rev. Ashton Oxenden, D. D. A beautiful delineation of an ideal life from the conversion to the final reward. 16 THE THRONE OF GRACE. Before which the bur- dened soul may cast Itself on the bosom of In- finite love and enjoy In prayer- "a peace which passeth all understanding." HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. Altemus* Devotional Series Continued. Price, 50 cents each. IT THE PATHWAY OF PROMISE, by the author of "The Throue of Grace." Thoughts consolatory and encouraging to the Christian pilgrim as he journeys onward to his heavenly home. 18 THE IMPREGNABLE ROCK OF HOLY SCRIP- TURE, by the Rt. Hon. William Ewart Gladstone, M. P. The most mastwly defence of the truths ef the Bible extant. The author says: The Chris- tian Faith find the Holy Scriptures arm us with the means of neutralizing the assaults ef evil In and from ourselves. 19 STEPS INTO THE BLESSED LIFE, by the Rev. F. B. Meyer, B. A. A powerful help towards sanc- tincatlon. 20 THE MESSAGE OF PEACE, by the Rev. Richard W. Church, D. D. Eight excellent sermons on the advent of the Babe of Bethlehem and his In- fluence and effect on the world. 21 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK, by the BCT. Charles H. Spurgeon. 22 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES, by the ReT. Charles H. Spurgeon. 28 THE CHANGED CROSS; AND OTHER RELIG- IOUS POEMS. 24 GOLD DUST. A collection of Golden Counsels for the Sanctificatlon of Dally Life. Hdlted by Char- . lotte M. Yonge. 25 DAILY FOOD FOR CHRISTIANS. Being a Prom- ise and another Scriptural portion for every day In the year; together with the Verse of a Hymn. 26 PEEP OF DAY. Or a Series of the Earliest Relig- ions Instruction the Infant Mind Is Capable of Receiving. 27 LINE UPON LINE. Or a second Series of the Ear- liest Religious Instruction the Infant Mind Is Ca- pable of Receiving. 28 PRECEPT WPON PRECEPT. By the author of "The Peep of Day," "Line Upon Line," "Pre- cept Upon Precept," etc. 29 THE PRINCE OF THE HOUSE OF DAVID, by the Rev. J. H. Ingraham. 30 JESSICA'S FIRST PRAYER AND JESSICA'S MOTHER, by hesba Stretton. HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. ALTEMUS' NEW ILLUSTRATED VADEMECUM SERIES. Masterpieces of English and American Literature, Handy Volume Size, Large Type Editions. Each Volume Contains Illuminated Title Pages, and Portrait of Author and Numerous Engravings. Fall cloth, ivory finish, ornamental inlaid side* and back, boxed, 40 cents. 1 CRANFORD, by Mrs. Gaskell. 2 A WINDOW IN THRUMS, by J. M. Barrle. I RAB AND HIS FRIENDS, MARJORIE FLBMINO, ETC., by John Brown, M. D. 4 THE VICAR OF WAKEFIELD, by Oliver Gold- smith. 6 THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW, by Jerome K. Jerome. "A book for an Idle holi- day." TALES FROM SHAKSPEARE, by Charles and Mary Lamb, with an Introduction by the Rev. Alfred Alnger, M. D. 7 SESAME AND LILIES, by John Ruskln. Three Lectures I. Of the King's Treasures. II. Of Queen's Garden. III. Of the Mystery of Life. t THE ETHICS OF THE DUST, by John Ruskln. Ten lectures to little housewives on the elements of crystal izatlon. 9 THE PLEASURES OF LIFE, by Sir John Lubbock. Complete In one volume. 10 THE SCARLET LETTER, by Nathaniel Hawthorne. 11 THE HOUSE OF THE SEVEN GABLES, by Na- thaniel Hawthorne. 12 MOSSES FROM AN OLD MANSE, by Nathaniel Hawthorne. 18 TWICE TOLD TALES, by Nathaniel Hawthorne. 14 THB ESSAYS OF FRANCIS (LORD) BACON WITH MEMOIRS AND NOTES. 16 ESSAYS, First Series, by Ralph Waldo Emerson. It B88AY8, Second Series, by Ralph Waldo Emerson. HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. Altemas* New Illustrated Vademecum Serial Continued. Price, 40 cents each. 17 REPRESENTATIVE MEN, by Ralph Waldo Emer- son. Mental portraits each representing a claw. 1. The Philosopher. 2. The Mystic. 3. The Skep- tic. 4. The Poet. 5. The Man of the World. 6. The Writer. IS THOUGHTS OF THE EMPEROR MARCUS AURE- LIUS ANTONINUS, translated by George Long. It THE DISCOURSES OF EPICTETUS WITH THH ENCHIRIDION, translated by George Long. 2* OF THE IMITATION OF CHRIST, by Thomas A'Kempls. Four books complete In one rolume. 21 ADDRESSES, by Professor Henry Drummond. The Greatest Thing In the World; Pax Voblscum; The Changed Life; How to Learn How; Dealing With Doubt; Preparation for Learning; What Is a Christian; The Study of the Bible; A Talk on Books. 22 LETTERS, SENTENCES AND MAXIMS, by Lrd Chesterfield. Masterpieces of good taste, good writing, and good sense. 28 REVERIES OF A BACHELOR. A book of th heart. By Ik Marrel. 24 DREAM LIFE, by Ik Marvel. A companion to "Rev- erles of a Bachelor." 26 SARTOR RESARTUS, by Thomas Carlyle. 26 HEROES AND HERO WORSHIP, by Th*s*as Oar- lyle. 27 UNCLE TOM'S CABIN, by Harriet Beecher Stowe. 28 ESSAYS OF ELIA, by Charles Lamb. 29 MY POINT OF VIEW. Representative selections from the works of Professor Henry Drummond by William Shepard. 80 THE SKETCH BOOK, by Washington Irving. Com- plete. 81 KEPT FOR THE MASTER'S USB, by Frances Rid- ley Harergal. 82 LUCILE, by Owen Meredith. 88 LALLA ROOKH, by Thomas Moore. 84 THE LADY OF THE LAKE, by Sir Walter Scott. 85 MARMION, by Sir Walter Scott. HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. Altemus' New Illustrated Vademecum Series Continued. Price, 40 centa each. 86 THE PRINCESS; AND MAUD, by Alfred (Lord) Tennyson. 87 CHILDE HAROLD'S PILGRIMAGE, by Lord Byron. 88 IDYLBS OF THE KING, by Alfred (Lord) Tennyson. 89 EVANGELINE, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. 40 VOICES OF THE NIGHT AND OTHER POEMS, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. 41 THE BELFRY OF BRUGES AND OTHER POEMS, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. 42 THE QUEEN OF THE AIR, by John Ruskln. A study of the Greek myths of cloud and storm. 48 POEMS, Volume I, by John Greenleaf Whlttler. 44 POEMS, Volume II, by John Greeuleaf Whlttler. 48 THE RAVEN; AND OTHER POEMS, by Edgar Al- lan Foe. 46 THANATOPSIS; AND OTHER POEMS, by William Cullen Bryant. 47 THE LAST LEAF; AND OTHER POEMS, by Oliver Wendell Holmes. 48 THE HEROES OR GREEK FAIRY TALES, by Charles Klngsley. 49 A WONDER BOOK, by Nathaniel Hawthorne. BO UNDINE, by de La Motte Fouque. 61 ADDRESSES, by the Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks. 62 BALZAC'S SHORTER STORIES, by Honore de Balzac. 68 TWO YEARS BEFORE THE MAST, by Richard H. Dana, Jr. 64 BENJAMIN FRANKLIN. An autobiography. 66 THE LAST ESSAYS OF ELIA, by Charles Lamb. 66 TOM BROWN'S SCHOOL DAYS, by Thomas Hughes. 87 WEIRD TALES, by Edgar Allen Poe. 68 THE CROWN OF WILD OLIVK, by John Ruskln. Three lectures on Work, Traffic and War. 69 NATURAL LAW IN TE SPIRITUAL WORLD, by Professor Henry Druinmond. 60 ABBE CONSTANTIN, by Ludovlc Halevy. 1 MANON LESCAUT, by Abbe Prevot. HENRY ALTEMUS* PUBLICATIONS. Altemus' New Illustrated Vademecum Series Continued. Price, 40 cents each. 2 THE ROMANCE OP A POOR YOUNG MAN, fcy Octave Feulllet. 68 BLACK BEAUTY, by Anna Sewell. 64 CAMILLE, by Alexander Dumas, Jr. 65 THE LIGHT OF ASIA, by Sir Edwin Arnold. J THE LAYS OF ANCIENT ROME, by Thomas Bab- ington Macaulay. 67 THE CONFESSIONS OF AN ENGLISH OPIUM- EATER, by Thomas De Qulncey. 68 TREASURE ISLAND, by Robert L. Stevenson. 69 CARMEN, by Prosper Merlmee. TO A SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY, by Laurence Sterne. Tl THE BLITHEDALE ROMANCE, by Nathaniel Haw- thorne. 72 BAB BALLADS, AND SAVOY SONGS, by W. H. Gilbert. 78 FANCHON, THE CRICKET, by George Sand. 74 POEMS, by James Russell Lowell. 76 JOHN PLOUGHMANS TALK, by the Rev. Charles H. Spurgeon. 7 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES, by the BBT. Charles H. Spurgeon. 77 THE MANLINESS OF CHRIST, by Thomas Hughes. 78 ADDRESSES TO YOUNG MEN, by the Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. 79 THE AUTOCRAT OF THE BREAKFAST TABLE, by Oliver Wendell Holmes. 80 MULVANEY STORIES, by Rudyard Kipling. 81 BALLADS, by Rudyard Kipling. 82 MORNING THOUGHTS, by Frances Ridley Haver- gal. 83 TEN NIGHTS IN A BAR ROOM, by T. S. Arthur. 84 EVENING THOUGHTS, by Frances Ridley Haver- gal. 85 IN MEMORIAM, by Alfred (Lord) Tennyson. 86 COMING TO CHRIST, by Frances Ridley Havergal. 87 HOUSE OF THE WOLF, by Stanley Weyman. ALTEMUS' ETERNAL LIFE SERIES Continued. 87 PAX VOBISCUM, by Henry Drum niiul. 88 THE CHANttED LIFE, by Henry Urummond. 89 F1KST I A TALK WITH BOYS, by Henry Dnimmond. ALTEMUS' BELLES-LETTRES SERIES. A collection of Essays and Addresses by Eminent English and American Authors, beautifully printed and daintily bound, with original designs in silver inks. Price, 25 cents per volume. 1 rNDEPENDEWCB DAY, by Rer. Edward E. Hal*. 5 THE SCHOL AKIN POLITICS, by Hon. Richard Olney. t THE YOUNG MA N IN BUS1 X K-S, by Edward W. Bok. 4 THE YOUNG MAN AMU THE OHUKCH, by Edward W. Bok. 6 THE SPOILS SYSTEM, by Hou. Carl Schrz. 8 CONVERSATION, by Thomas DeQulncty. 7 SWEETNESS AND LIGHT, by Matthew Arnold. WORK, by John Kuskin. 9 N ATURE AND A RT. by Ralph Waldo Emerson. 10 THE USE AND MISUSE OF BOOKS, by Frederic Harrison. U THE M01TBOE DOCTRINE: ITS ORIGIN, MEANING AND APPLICATION, by Prof. John Bach McMaster (University of Penniylranla) 13 THB DESTINY OF MAN, by Sir John Lubbock. 11 LOVE AND FR1KN DSHIP, by Ralph Waldo Kmeraou. 14 RIP VAN WINKLE, bjr Washington Inrlng. U ART, POCTKY AND MUSIC, by Sir John Lubboek, 16 THE CHOICE OF BOOKS, by Sir John Lubbock. 17 MANNERS, by Ralph Waklo Emerson. U CHARACTER, by Ralph Waldo Emerson. it THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW, by Washington Irving. 20 THE BEAUTIES OF NATURE, by Sir John Lubbock. 21 SELF RELIANCE, by Ralph Waldo Euenou. Z2 THE DJ.'TY OK HAPPINESS, by Sir John Lubboek. 23 SPIRITUAL LAW*, by Ralph Waldo Emerson. 24 OLD CHRISTMAS, by Washington Irvlug. 26 HEALTH, WEALTH AND THE BLESSING OF FRIENDS, by Sir John Lubbock. M INTELLECT, by Ralph Waldo Emerson. 27 WHY AMERICANS DiSLIKE ENGLAND? by Prof. George B. Adatni(YaU). 28 THE HIGHER EDUCATION AS A TRAINING FOK BUSINESS. by Pro/. Harry Pratt Judton (University of Chicago). 21 MIHSTOOSEY'S MISSION. 80 LADDIE. SI J. COLE, by Emma eeUlbrand. UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY, LOS ANGELES COLLEGE LIBRARY This book is due on the last date stamped below. ] M it '81 4 4 DAY JUN 3 81 REC NOV5 CL 85 RC CL Book Slip Series 4! UCLA-College Library PR 4713 B1 18% n 1 1 in i HI 1 1 1 COLLHCF LI8 5