STACK ANNEX PS 1235 B97N JB o thing "V-. V a r ! LONDON. SIMPK1N, MAPSHM_L. DAVID KELL Price Thro . NOTHING TO WEAR Jut (t|i$.oto flf <t4ijr f ifo. MANCHESTER: DAVID KELLY, 53, MARKET STREET. MDCCCLVIII. STACK ANNEX PREFACE. THE Author of "Nothing to Wear" an eminent lawyer of Isew York, named Butler has attempted, by the witty shafts of satire, to check that unrestrained desire of extravagant dress, which, taking by storm the heads and hearts of so many of his countrywomen, was not without influence in bringing about the disastrous state of things which recently paralysed the com merce of America, and reacted so forcibly and injuriously on our own. IV. PREFACE. Is not the lesson written by Mr. Butler for the ladies of the United States of America one which our fair countrywomen might con with advantage ? Let us see what is said on the subject by a recent writer in the Westminster Review : " The gravest of social extravagancies, that of female dress, has become more conspicuous than at any time within three generations. * * * The cost of dress has become so disproportionate to other items of expenditure as to create serious difficulty in the homes of men of business, who have hitherto been able to provide their wives and daughters with whatever was needful to a moderate complacency. The rich silks of the day cannot be had for a wife and daughters, with the prodigious trimmings which are equally indispen sable, under a less sum than would maintain a country clergyman, or half-pay officer and his family. The paraphernalia of ribbons, laces, fringes and flowers is more expensive than the entire gown of ten years ago." In confirmation of the above, may be quoted the concurrent testimony of that PREFACE. V. enlightened philanthropist, the Hon. and Rev. S. G. OSBORNE, whose letters on social topics enrich from time to time the columns of the " leading journal." This gentleman, writing in "The Times," of Friday, July 23, 1858, says that, as a rule, " The acreage of dress and its value is in monstrous proportion to the persons and purses of the wearers," and asks, " Where is the present wild extravagance in dress to end ? Is each succeeding season to record its ruinous increase ? Is it possible that folly can further go, that English ladies will become yet more enslaved to a power which is gradually vitiating the taste of every class " As an illustration of the truth of the foregoing remarks, we append a selection of items from a Regent-Street milliner s bill for 2,754 Os. 6d., which was proved in the London Bankruptcy Court in September last VI. PREFACE. "Bonnet, 12 12s.; Lace Veil, 15 15s.; Mantilla, 12. 12s ; Sprigged Muslin Slip, 11. lls.; Six Em broidered Collars, 15. los. ; Pocket Handkerchief. 4 4s.; Another, 5. 5s. ; Moire Antique Dress, 10. 10s. ; Ditto, 11. lls.; Ditto, 12. 12s.; Ditto, 13. 13s.; Ditto, 18. 18s.; Ditto, 19. 19s.; Brown Muslin Dress, 17. 17s. ; Court Dress, 51. 5s.; Ditto, 55. 10s.; Parasol, 10. 10s. ; Ditto. 18. 18s. ; Point Lace Cap and Pearls, 11. 1 Is. ; Pair of Lappets, 8. 8s. ; Venice Point Flounce, 84. ; Pair of Lace Sleeves, 8. 8s. ; Ten Buttons, 5. ; Dressing Four Dolls, 12. 12s. ! ! Is it surprising that such a bill should eventually find its way to the Court of Bankruptcy ? " We sacrifice to dress, till household joys And comforts cease. Dress drains our cellar dry, And keeps our larder lean ; puts out our fires, And introduces hunger, froft, and woe, Where peace and hospitality might reign." So wrote the poet Cowper. Have his lines less significance now than when he wrote them? NOTHING TO WEAR: AN EPISODE or CITY LIFE. i s s FLORA M T L i M s E Y, of Madi son Square, Has made three separate journeys to Paris, And her father assures me, each time she was there, That she and her friend Mrs. Harris (Not the lady whose name is so famous in history, But plain Mrs. H., without romance or mystery) Spent six consecutive weeks without stopping, In one continuous round of shopping; Shopping alone, and shopping together; At all hours of the day, and in all sorts of weather ; For all manrer of things that a woman can put 8 NOTHING TO WEAR. On the crown of her head or the sole of her foot, Or wrap round her shoulders, or fit round her waist, Or that can be sewed on, or pinned on/or laced, Or tied on with a string, or stitched on with a bow, In front or behind, above or below : For bonnets, mantillas, capes, collars, and shawls ; Dresses for breakfasts, and dinners, and balls ; Dresses to sit in, and stand in, and walk in; Dresses to dance in, and flirt in, and talk in; Dresses in which to do nothing at all ; Dresses for winter, spring, summer, and fall; And all of them different in color and pat tern, Silk, muslin, and lace crape, velvet, and satin, Brocade, and broadcloth, and other material Quite as expensive, and much more ethereal ; In short, for all things that could ever be thought of, NOTHING TO WEAR. Or milliner, modiste, or tradesman be bought of, From ten-thousand-francs robes to twenty- sous frills ; In all quarters of Paris, and to every store, While M Flimsey in vain stormed, scolded, and swore, They footed the streets, and he footed the bills. T HE last trip, their goods shipped by the steamer Arago Formed, M Flimsey declares, the bulk of her cargo, Not to mention a quantity kept from the rest, Sufficient to fill the largest sized chest, Which did not appear on the ship s manifest, But for which the ladies themselves mani fested Such particular interest, that they invested 10 NOTHING TO WEAR. Their own proper persons in layers and rows Of muslins, embroideries, worked under clothes, Gloves, handkerchiefs, scarfs, and such trifles as those ; Then, wrapped in great shawls, like Cir cassian beauties, Gave GOOD-BY to the ship, and GO-BY to the duties. Her relations at home all marvelled, no doubt, Miss Flora had grown so enormously stout For an actual belle and a possible bride ; But the miracle ceased when she turned inside out, And the truth came to light, and the dry goods beside, Which, in spite of Collector and Custom house sentry, Had entered the port without any entry. NOTHING TO WEAR. 11 AND yet, though scarce three months have passed since the day This merchandise went, on twelve carts, up Broadway, This same Miss M Flimsey, of Madison Square, The last time we met, was in utter despair, Because she had nothing whatever to wear ! OTHING TO WEAR ! Now, as this is a true ditty, I do not assert this, you know, is between us That she s in a state of absolute nudity, Like Powers Greek Slave, or the Medici Venus ; But I do mean to say, I have heard her declare, When at the same moment, she had on a dress 12 NOTHING TO WEAR. Which cost five hundred dollars, and not a cent less, And jewell ry worth ten times more, I should guess, That she had not a thing in the wide world to wear ! I SHOULD mention just here, that out of Miss Flora s Two hundred and fifty or sixty adorers, I had just been selected as he who should throw all The rest in the shade, by the gracious bestowal On myself, after twenty or thirty rejections, Of those fossil remains which she called "her affections," And that rather decayed, but well-known work of art, Which Miss Flora persisted in styling "her heart." NOTHING TO WEAR. 13 So we were engaged. Our troth had been plighted, Not by moonbeam or starbeam, by fountain or grove, But in a front parlour, most brilliantly lighted. Beneath the gas-fixtures we whispered our love. Without any romance, or raptures, or sighs, Without any tears in Miss Flora s blue eyes, Or blushes, or transports, or such silly actions ; It was one of the quietest business tran sactions, With a very small sprinkling of sentiment, if any, And a very large diamond imported by Tiffany. On her virginal lips while I printed a kiss, She exclaimed, as a sort of parenthesis, And by way of putting me quite at my ease, " You know I m to polka as much as I please, And flirt when I like now stop, don t you speak And you must not come here more than twice in the week, 14 NOTHING TO WEAK. Or talk to me either at party or ball, But always be ready to come when I call ; So don t prose to me about duty and stuff, If we don t break this off, there will be time enough For that sort of thing; but the bargain must be That, as long as I choose, I am perfectly free; For this is a sort of engagement, you see, Which is binding on you, but not binding on me." WELL, having thus wooed Miss M Flim- sey, and gained her, With the silks, crinolines, and hoops that contained her, I had, as I thought, a contingent remainder At least in the property ; and the best right To appear as its escort by day and by night : And it being the week of the STUCKUPS grand ball NOTHING TO WEAR. 15 Their cards had been out a fortnight or so, And set all the Avenue on the tiptoe I considered it only my duty to call, And see if Miss Mora intended to go. I found her as ladies are apt to be found, When the time intervening between the first sound Of the bell and the visitor s entry is shorter Than usual I found; I won t say I caught her Intent on the pier-glass, undoubtedly meaning To see if perhaps it didn t need cleaning. She turned as I entered "Why, Harry, you sinner, I thought that you went to the Flashers to dinner !" " So I did/ I replied, " but the dinner is swallowed, And digested, I trust, for tis now nine and more; So being relieved from that duty, I followed Inclination, which led me, you see, to your door. And now will your ladyship so condescend As just to inform me if you intend 16 NOTHING TO WEAR. Your beauty, and graces, and presence to lend (All which, when I own, I hope no one will borrow), To the STUCKUPS , whose party, you know, is to-morrow?" T I HE fair Flora looked up with a pitiful air, And answered quite promptly "Why Harry, mon cher, I should like above all things to go with you there ; But really and truly I ve Nothing to "Wear." "N IOTHING to Wear ! go just as you are; Wear the dress you have on, and you ll be by far, NOTHING TO WEAR. 17 I engage, the most bright arid particular star On the Stuckup horizon " I stopped, for her eye, Notwithstanding this delicate onset of flat tery, Opened on me at once a most terrible battery Of scorn and amazement. She made no reply, But gave a slight turn to the end of her nose (That pure Grecian feature), as much as to say, " How absurd that any sane man should suppose That a lady would go to a ball in the clothes, No matter how fine, that she wears every day !" 18 NOTHING TO WEAR. So I ventured again "Wear your crim son brocade/ (Second turn up of nose) "That s too dark by a shade." "Your blue silk "" That s too heavy;" "Your pink" "That s too light." " Wear tulle over satin " " I can t endure white." "Your rose-colored, then, the best of the batch" " I haven t a thread of point lace to match." "Your brown moire antique" "Yes, and look like a Quaker;" " The pearl-colored " " I would, but that plaguey dress-maker Has had it a week" "Then that exquisite lilac, In which you would melt the heart of a Shylock." (Here the nose took again the same eleva tion) " I wouldn t wear that for the whole of creation." " Why not ? It s my fancy, there s nothing could strike it NOTHING TO WEAR. 19 As more comme il faut "Yes, but, dear me, that lean Sophronia Stuckup has got one just like it, And I won t appear dressed like a chit of sixteen." "Then that splendid purple, that sweet Mazarine ; That superb point d aiguille, that imperial green, That zephyr-like tarleton, that rich grena- dine"- " Not one of all which is fit to be seen/ Said the lady, becoming excited and flushed. "Then wear," I exclaimed, in a tone which quite crushed Opposition, "that gorgeous toilette which you sported In Paris last Spring, at the grand presen tation, When you quite turned the head of the head of the nation ; And by all the grand court were so very much courted." The end of the nose was portentously tipped up, 20 NOTHING TO WEAR. And both the bright eyes shot forth in dignation, As she burst upon me with the fierce exclamation, " I have worn it three times at the least calculation, And that and the most of my dresses are ripped up !" Here I RIPPED OUT something, perhaps rather rash, Quite innocent though; but, to use an expression More striking than classic, it "settled my hash," And proved very soon the last act of our session. " Fiddlesticks is it, Sir ? I wonder the ceiling Doesn t fall down and crush you; oh, you men have no feeling, You selfish, unnatural, illiberal creatures, Who set yourselves up as patterns and preachers : Your silly pretence why, what a mere guess it is! NOTHING TO WEAR. 21 Pray, what do you know of a woman s necessities ? I have told you and shown you I ve Nothing to Wear/ And it s perfectly plain you not only don t care. But you do not believe me " (here the nose went still higher), " I suppose, if you dared, you would call me a liar. Our engagement is ended, Sir, yes, on the spot ; You re a brute, and a monster, and I don t know what." I mildly suggested the words " Hottentot, Pickpocket, and cannibal, Tartar, and thief," As gentle expletives which might give relief; But this only proved as spark to the pow der, And the storm I had raised came faster and louder ; It blew and it rained, thundered, lightened, and hailed Interjections, verbs, pronouns, till language quite failed To express the abusive, and then its arrears 22 NOTHING TO WEAR. Were brought up all at once by a torrent of tears, And my last faint, despairing attempt at an obs- Ervation was lost in a tempest of sobs. WELL, I felt for the lady, and felt for my hat, too, Improvised on the crown of the latter a tattoo, In lieu of expressing the feelings which lay Quite too deep for words, as Wordsworth would say ; Then, without going through the form of a bow, Found myself in the entry I hardly knew how, On door-step and sidewalk, past lamp-post and square, At home and up stairs, in my own easy chair; NOTHING TO WEAR. 23 Poked my feet into slippers, my fire into blaze. And said to myself, as I lit my cigar, Supposing a man had the wealth of the Czar Of the Ixussias to boot, for the rest of his days, On the whole, do you think he would have much to spare If he married a woman with "Nothing to Wear?" SINCE that night, taking pains that it should not be bruited Abroad in society, I ve instituted A course of inquiry, extensive and tho rough, On this vital subject, and find, to my hor ror, That the fair Flora s case is by no means surprising, 24 NOTHING TO WEAR. But that there exists the greatest dis tress In our female community, solely arising From this unsupplied destitution of dress, Whose unfortunate victims are filling the air With the pitiful wail of " Nothing to Wear." Researches in some of the " Upper Ten " districts Reveal the most painful and startling sta tistics, Of which let me mention only a few : In one single house, on the Fifth Avenue, Three young ladies were found, all below twenty-two, Who have been three whole weeks without any thing new In the way of flounced silks, and thus left in the lurch Are unable to go to ball, concert, or church. In another large mansion near the same place, Was found a deplorable, heart-rending case Of entire destitution of Brussel s point lace. In a neighbouring block there was found, in three calls, NOTHING TO WEAR. 25 Total want, long continued, of camels -hair shawls ; And a suffering family, whose case exhibits The most pressing need of real ermine tippets ; One deserving young lady almost unable To survive, for the want of a new Eussian sable ; Another confined to the house, when it s windier Than usmil, because her shawl isn t India; Still another, whose tortures have been most terrific Ever since the sad loss of the steamer PACIFIC, In which were ingulfed, not friend or relation (For whose fate she perhaps might have found consolation, Or borne it, at least, with serene resig nation) But the choicest assortment of French sleeves and collars Ever sent out from Paris, worth thousands of dollars And all as to style most recherche and rare, 26 NOTHING TO WEAE. The want of which leaves her with " Nothing to Wear/ And renders her life so drear and dyspeptic That she s quite a recluse, and almost a sceptic For she touchingly says that this sort of grief Cannot find in Religion the slightest relief : And Philosophy has not a maxim to spare For the victims of such overwhelming des pair. But the saddest by far of all these sad features Is the cruelty practised upon the poor creatures By husbands and fathers, real Bluebeards and Timons, Who resist the most touching appeals made for diamonds By their wives and their daughters, and leave them for days Unsupplied with new jewell ry, fans, or bouquets, Even laugh at their miseries whenever they have a chance, NOTHING TO WEAR. 27 And deride their demands as useless ex travagance ; One case of a bride was brought to my view, Too sad for belief, but alas ! twas too true, Whose husband refused, as savage as Charon, To permit her to take more than ten trunks to Sharon ; The consequence was, that when she got there, At the end of three weeks she had " Nothing to \Ve-.rj" And when she proposed to finish the season At Newport, the monster refused out and out, For his infamous conduct alleging no reason, Except that the waters were good for his gout : Such treatment as this was too shocking of course, And proceedings are now going on for divorce. But why harrow the feelings by lifting the curtain From these scenes of woe ? Enough, it is certain, 28 NOTHING TO WEAR. Has here been disclosed to stir up the pity Of every benevolent heart in the city, And spur up humanity into a canter To rush and relieve these sad cases in- stanter. Won t somebody, moved by this touching description, Come forward to-morrow and head a sub- cription ? Won t some kind philanthropist, seeing that aid is So needed at once by these indigent ladies, Take charge of the matter ? Or won t PETER COOPER The corner-stone lay of some splendid super- Structure, like that which to-day links his name In the Union unending of honor and fame ; And found a new charity just for the care Of these unhappy women with " Nothing to Wear;" Which, in view of the cash which would daily be claimed, NOTHING TO WEAR. 29 The " Laying-out " Hospital well might be named ? Won t STEWART, or some of our dry-goods importers, Take a contract for clothing our wives and our daughters ? Or, to furnish the cash to supply these distresses, And life s pathway strew with shawls, col lars, and dresses, Ere the want of them makes it much rougher and thornier, Won t some one discover a new Cali fornia ? On ladies ! dear ladies ! the next sunny day Please trundle your hoops just out of Broadway, From its whirl and its bustle, its fashion and pride, 30 NOTHING TO WEAR. And the temples of Trade which tower on each side, To the alleys and lanes where Misfortune and Guilt Their children have gathered, their city have built ; Where Hunger and Vice, like twin beasts of prey, Have hunted their victims to gloom and despair : Raise the rich dainty dress, and the fine broidered skirt Pick your delicate way through the damp ness and dirt Grope through the dark dens climb the ricketty stair To the garret, where wretches, the young and the old, Half-starved, and half-naked, lie crouched from the cold; See those skeleton limbs, those frost-bitten feet, All bleeding and bruised by the stones of the street; Hear the sharp cry of childhood the deep groans that swell NOTHING TO WEAK. 31 From the poor dying creature who writhes on the floor ; Hear the curses that sound like the echoes of Hell, As you sicken and shudder and fly from the door : Then home to your wardrobes, and say, if you dare Spoiled children of Fashion you ve " Nothing to Wear!" ND oh ! if perchance there should be a sphere Where all is made right, which so puzzles us here Where the glare, and the glitter, and tinsel of Time Fade and die in the light of that region sublime Where the soul, disenchanted of flesh and of sense, 32 NOTHING TO WEAR. Unscreened by its trappings, and shows, and pretence, Must be clothed for the life and the service above, With purity, truth, faith, meekness, and love; Oh, daughters of Earth ! foolish virgins, beware ! Lest in that upper realm you have " Nothing to Wear!" FINIS. DAVID KELLY, Bookseller & Printer, 53, Market-st. Manchester. Where is the pre sent wild extrava gance in dress tc end? Is each succeed ing season to record its ruinous increase 1 Is it possible thai folly can further go that English ladies will become yet more enslaved to a powei which is gradually vitiating the taste o: every class?" From the, Hon. and Rev. S. G. Osborne Letter in the Times, July 23, 1858 t^i/3 15.-! rrti...,. ,...,.... f^j. Price Threepence. 000138313 2