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 Warner 
 Cadets
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 ooocx:; 
 
 ^.1^ OTlXC3rXl<T J^X. 
 
 AMERICAN COMIC OPERA, 
 
 Iir THBEE ACTS, 
 
 CADETS 
 
 V/ORDS BY MORRIS H. WARNER 
 
 MUSIC by G-. A. KERKER. 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 
 Richardson & Foos, PKiNTEns, 112 ForRTu Aveni'f. nkar 12th Sireet. 
 
 i 8 7 9
 
 « t
 
 J^l<r C):RTC3rXl<T J^Xj 
 
 AMERICAN COMIC OPERA. 
 
 Iir THREE ACTS, 
 
 WORDS BY MORRIS H. WARNER 
 
 MUSIC by G-. A. KERKER. 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 
 Richardson & Foos, Printers, 112 Fourth Avenue near 12th Streett. 
 
 18 7 9
 
 'l\ 
 
 BRAMATIS PERSON^E. 
 
 Miss MAY WALTON. 
 
 Mlle. AUGUSTE MASHUTH. 
 
 Miss MILLY JERRY. 
 
 Miss SALLY MANDER. 
 
 CAPTAIN TAYLOR MONTAGUE. 
 
 COLONEL SEMPRONIUS SNOOKS. 
 
 SERGEANT MAX. 
 
 CADET THOMAS A. HAWK. 
 
 CADET BILLY B. DASHED. 
 
 SCHOOLGIBLS, ViVANDIERES AND CaDETS, by a FuLL ChORUS. 
 
 Time— Present. Scene — America.
 
 LIBRART \ 
 
 CADETS 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 Tim e — Present — Sum mer. — Scene — A men'ca . 
 
 ^iciuresqiie play grounds, adjoining Military sc/iool. River with 
 foliage back. Cadets discovered at rise of curtain in fatigue dress, 
 with base ball bats, Indian clubs, cars, cr'c. Some are seated near 
 I ^fiog-staff. At rise of curtain, 
 
 THE U. S. A. CHORUS. 
 
 I. 
 
 We 're jolly sparks, 
 
 Off on a lark ; 
 
 We 're full of glee, 
 
 As 3'^ou can see. 
 
 As jolly sparks 
 
 We'll make our mark ; 
 
 Be Generals yet, \ 
 
 Each gay cadet. 
 
 As you will surely see — 
 
 We '11 ne'er go back on thcc. 
 
 Now list to what we have to say : 
 
 We 're in the U. S. A. 
 
 The U. S. A.! ; 
 
 It is O.K.! 
 
 It suits both me and you. 
 
 And Uncle Sam 
 
 Don't care a" " 
 
 If you pay your taxes P. D. O.! 
 
 7571 R4
 
 II. 
 
 In every game 
 
 We 've made our fame, 
 
 From base ball to 
 
 A rowing crew. 
 
 We've made our fame 
 
 In every game, 
 
 With dear old Hoyle 
 
 We love to toil. 
 
 Of course you won't forget 
 
 The U. S. A. cadet 
 
 Is game in any game we play. 
 
 For we're in the U. S. A. 
 
 TheU. S. A.! 
 
 It is O.K.! 
 
 It suits both me and you, 
 
 And Uncle Sam, 
 
 Don't care a " " 
 
 If you pay your taxes P. D. Q. ! 
 
 Tom. Yes, boys, that's so ! Uncle Sam taxes his mind very 
 little if people mind their taxes. Don't you think so, William ? 
 
 Billy. I forget. 
 
 Tom. Am I not correct, boys .' And should not we thank him 
 for this compliment .'' 
 
 Cadets. Yes! Yes! 
 
 Tom. {^Mounting a camp stool.) And as I said in my speech 
 on "American Independence," is not our noble government 
 worthy of all the encomiums that prose or poetry, pulpit or 
 rostrum could pass upon it? Does any page of our nation's 
 history blush with a blot that would cast discredit upon a true 
 American ? 
 
 Cadets. No! No! 
 
 Tom. Has not the ardor, zeal, valor, and patriotism of our 
 land been recognized, from the snow-chilled peaks of the Arctic 
 to the cactus-decked jungles of the Tropics.-* 
 
 Billy. I forget. 
 
 Max. {Outside.) Halloo! Halloo! 
 
 Tom. That's the Sergeant's manly voice. The jolly cadet
 
 5 
 
 who TJiymes and puns and puns and rhymes on all occasions. 
 Let's give him a reception. 
 
 Cadets. {As Max enters)) Hurrah! Hurrah! 
 Max. {Rushing in.) That I am 'ii<elco}ne here, and i^'ell come, hear, 
 We swear, not naughty words my cadets dear; 
 Swearing in the army is 7vearing out, 
 We now say U. T. S. for up the spout. 
 
 {Bugle call) 
 
 Tom. Surely something extraordinary has happened. I 
 wonder if that pompous and rheumatic Colonel Sempronius 
 Snooks has come.-* 
 
 Billy. I forget. 
 
 {Bugle call outside.) 
 
 Max. I 'm blowed if that blow don't call us below. I could 
 iellow and return blow for blow. 
 
 {Bugle call) 
 
 It's the worst blow you ever will receive ; 
 They're playing trumps on us, I do believe ; 
 We '11 play our suits if that's their little game, 
 For we've more tricks than they, that's plain. 
 
 Tom. Oh pshaw! Let the Colonel come. We 've got to be 
 ■examined some time, and a prize drill is necessary in every 
 military school, you know, even though it should cause our 
 affectionate parients to open their hearts and pocketbooks. 
 Then, beside, I'll have a chance to deliver my speech on " Ameri- 
 can Independence," which goes: "Is not our own dear 
 Columbia the birth-place of talent, and the cradle of genius ? '' 
 
 Billy. I forget. 
 
 i^Tom, disgusted, is about to strike Billy with stool, when Max prevents 
 him.) 
 
 31 ax. Your motion's out of order, I declare; 
 
 I'll take the stand since, you have left the chair j 
 Our Bill is a good one, as you once said, 
 So don't try \o pass this over his head ; 
 But while ti?ne lasts, let 's improve the last time. 
 And P'ass time in singing in our past time. 
 Max. {Solo and chorus.)
 
 6 
 
 "THE LIFE OF OUR CADETS." 
 I. 
 
 The life of our cadets ■ 
 
 Is gay beyond expression. 
 We have no vain regrets, 
 
 And make no queer confession; 
 But often there are times, 
 
 When our dear INIamma's dimes,. 
 And Papa's monthly letters, 
 
 Relieve us of all fears. 
 And strengthen our arrears, 
 
 And somewhat soothe our debtors^ 
 
 Chorus. — Yes! it's a pretty gay life. 
 Free from toil and strife. 
 So we'll merrily sing 
 And make the air ring. 
 For we're free from toil and strife!! 
 
 II. 
 
 To congressmen are due 
 
 Our present occupation. 
 We are placed here, tis true, 
 
 Expensive to our nation. 
 But naughty little tricks. 
 
 Known but to politics, 
 Have prompted the best cadet 
 
 To say, if asked the cause, 
 "Why lawyers make the laws,"' 
 
 The simple words: "I forget." 
 
 Chorus. — Yes! it's a pretty gay life, etc. 
 
 [Music. Enter Captain.^ 
 
 Captain. {Recit.) Hold! Hold! My comrades hold^ 
 
 Till a tale I do unfold! 
 Chorus. 'Tis our Captain bold! 
 Max. Wait, till the story's told! 
 Captain. Let every heart grow cold, 
 For me cadets are soldi
 
 Chorus. Oh! oh! he! he! 
 Max. Wait till the story's told! 
 Captain. Draw closer every one, 
 
 And list to what I say; 
 % We have been played upon^ 
 
 On this our own play day! 
 CJwrtis. Ah! ah! he! he! 
 Max. Wait till the story 's told' 
 Captain. I've heard a hint or two, 
 
 That sets my heart in whirls ; 
 We'll have a grand review 
 
 Before a lot of girls! 
 Chorus. Ha! ha! he! he! 
 Max. Wait till the story 's told! 
 Captain. These ladies we expect, 
 
 Now down the river float. 
 Shall we their smiles reject, 
 
 Or upset every boat ? 
 
 Chorus. No! no! no! no! 
 Max. So now the story 's told! 
 Tom. Who are the maidens ? 
 Billy. I forget. 
 
 Captain. They are lasses from the seminary adjacent, and 
 have chosen this spot for a picnic ground. 
 
 Max. But, Captain, they have cut our loaf\x\\.o\ 
 
 I'll take none /w//<^r who will prove true. 
 Captain. This meeting must be surreptitious. 
 Max. With lasses always use syrup-dishes, 
 And as no ;«<?' lasses may come this way, 
 
 ^& gallant, and make this s. gaily day. 
 
 Captain. Cadets, we must be on the alert, and not be drawn 
 into ambush by these rosy cheeked intruders. Do not be 
 captured unawares, as I have been, by one in the invading 
 band, whose winning ways, dancing eyes and laughing smile 
 have held my heart a prisoner these many a day. Her name 
 is May, and although accompanied by her sprightly friend, 
 Mile. Auguste, and a bevy of beauties, this brilliant gen\ will 
 lose none of its lustre. As the piquante Mile, is coming I sus- 
 pect our punning Sergeant will receive a just //.'//ishment.
 
 . ' 8 
 
 Cadets. 01i,don'tl don't! 
 
 Caflahi. Honestly, I meant no pun. I am too conscientious 
 to infringe upon the patent right that Max now holds. You 
 se^ boys, Max and the Mile, were in a fair way to be made 
 ©HE, but she grew jealous of the Sergeant's punning, and, as he 
 "WsS so devoted to rhymes, the match was broken off. 
 
 Max. Now why make light of such matches ? For shame ! 
 Have none of you sparked? Have you no o\<X flame ? 
 
 BUly. I forget. 
 
 Max. Then h& for getting yonder flag, Cadets ; 
 111 be forgiving, and we '11 all forget {Cadet brings flag) 
 Tfeese boisterous girls, and with a hearty cheer. 
 Show ourselves gallus boys. Captain, step here. 
 
 [Captaifi.) 
 "^'HAIL TO OUR NOBLE FLAG." 
 
 Hail to our noble flag; 
 
 Ne'er let your ardor lag, 
 But cherish every star and every bar; 
 
 The red, .and white and blue, 
 
 Has always proven true, 
 In smiling peace, as well as bloody war. 
 Then, hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! 
 Swell loud and long the patriotic cheer; 
 
 We have no foes to fear, 
 
 For friends are always near. 
 To fight and die for every star and bar, 
 
 iJAanis. — Hurrah! hurrah! burrah! hurrah! 
 And now a lusty tiger too, 
 We will be ever true 
 To red, and white and blue, 
 And fight and die for every star and bar. 
 
 n. 
 
 How gracefully it curls 
 As proudly it unfurls
 
 9 
 
 To the welcome breeze its bright stars and bars; 
 
 On every land and sea 
 
 This ensign of the free 
 Is loved as well by soldiers as by tars; 
 Then, hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! 
 Hail to the flag we prize above the rest; 
 
 In North, South, East and West, 
 
 'Tis honored and 'tis blest ; 
 We '11 fight and die for every star and bar. 
 
 •Chorus. — Hurrah! hurrah! &c. 
 
 Max. The tenor of that song proves we're not base ; 
 
 It does not bary tone, that's out of place. 
 And our fine spirits, show us defenders 
 Of this flag, and first-class star bar-tenders. 
 
 Captain. As the picnic party is fast approaching, why not 
 prepare a programme for the coming entertainment ; fortune 
 favors us, and fate has ordained that that intruding Semproni- 
 ous Snooks will not torment us with another prize drill, or an 
 •electioneering dodge. 
 
 Captain. Why this mystery? What has happened, Billy ? 
 
 Billy. I forget! 
 
 Max. Dear Captain, I have news for Sl private ear. 
 
 Not d^ privateer, so drop d^ private tear. 
 There's not 2i private here, would deprive it here ; 
 But in private, dear. The colonel 's here. 
 
 Tom. Max is correct. The prospects are that my speech, 
 *' American Independence," will again be delivered to the patri- 
 otic colonel. 
 
 Captain. Colonel! Pshaw! True he had a number of fat 
 contracts during the war, but colonel, never ! Still he has in- 
 fluence which always sugar-coats a bitter pill. He is as vain as 
 a girl, and flirts like a freshman. A perfect jack of hearts, and 
 not a king of club; sold and rheumatic, too. A colonel ? Bah! 
 Max. Yes, in war he made no big commotion, 
 
 And in peace, he made no locomotion. * 
 
 A colonel made in Congress to the rule, 
 That in Congress governs our own school.
 
 10 
 
 {Bugle call outside.) 
 
 Tom. 'Tis the Colonel! ♦Who could mistake that martial 
 bearing and soldierly stride ? 
 
 Captain. And that limp! 
 
 Max. Yes, the jtp7-ig/it Colonel this way is bent, 
 A capital fellow from the capital sent. {Music announcing Colonel.) 
 
 Captain. Attention! Fall, in! Front, face! {Enter Colonel.). 
 
 Chorus. Thanks for this meeting, 
 • We give you greeting. 
 
 Colonel. {J^ecit.) You greet me, 
 You meet me; 
 You treat me 
 According to my station. 
 I'll treat you, 
 I'll meet you, 
 I'll greet you 
 As the pride of our nation. 
 
 Chorus. We give you a greeting, 
 Thanks for the meeting. 
 
 " INTIMATING." 
 
 Colonel. I 've just had intimation 
 That a general invitation 
 Has been extended far and near, 
 
 Chorus. Has been extended far and near. 
 
 Colonel. And an examination 
 
 Is under contemplation, 
 
 And will take place, my boys, right here. 
 
 Captain. An examination 
 
 Is under contemplation 
 
 Oh dear! so near! right here! 
 
 Chorus. Invitation, intimation, 
 
 Examination, contemplation, 
 Intimation, invitation. 
 Contemplation, examination^ 
 Abomination.
 
 11 
 
 I 
 
 Colonel. I have had anticipation 
 
 That there would be indignation; 
 
 But never thought that you would swean 
 
 Chorus. He never thought that we would swear. 
 
 Colonel. Won't there be compensation 
 At this brief intimation, 
 Your guests, my boys, are ladies fair. 
 
 Captain. An examination 
 
 Is under contemplation. 
 
 Oh dear! so near! right here! 
 
 Chorus. Invitation, intimation, etc. 
 
 Colonel. I am welcome, I presume, and you are prepared for 
 the examination, eh? Ah! no? {Cadets nod.) Yes? thanks' 
 Of course, Cadets, you know that by rigid attention to the rules- 
 and regulations and the requirements of those competent gentle- 
 men at the Capitol, you will succeed. You grasp my meaning,, 
 I presume, eh? Ah! no! {Cadets nod.) Yes? thanks! Now, 
 to business. An emblem of our country, our honored flag, will 
 be the award tendered to-morrow, at the examination to- 
 day! 
 
 Cadets. Hurrah! hurrah. 
 
 Colonel. A prize flag has been presented. I presume you 
 would like to know the name of this honorable donor,' eh ? 
 Ah! no? {Cadets nod.) Yes? thanks! Here is his card. {Takes- 
 out large package marked : " Hon. June O Hoo, " candidate for Con- 
 gress" hands them to Billy.) Please give these to the Cadets. 
 Are you acquainted with "he gentleman, eh ? AliT no. 
 Yes? 
 
 Billy. I forget! 
 
 Colonel. Thanks! I have more left, which you are at liberty 
 to present to your friends. Write to him, boys ; he would like 
 to hear from you, and it may be he wilj send you the Congres- 
 sional Records or Patent Ofiice Reports. By the way, he has 
 prepared a luncheon as a surprise for you. Shall we see 
 what it is composed of, eh ? Ah! no ? {Cadets nod.) Yes? 
 thanks! 
 
 Cadets. Hurrah! hurrah!
 
 12 
 {Exeunt all hut Captain, to U. S. A. CJwriis.) 
 
 ijaptain. Just to think that this compound of egotism and 
 bombast, who wears the borrowed suit of a Colonel, should stand 
 or rather halt between me and my love. Oh! why does May 
 reject my suit, and accept his addresses ? Perhaps it is only for 
 diplomacy, as her father has an appropriation he wishes to pass 
 through Congress, and the Colonel's influence is necessary. 
 .'Should I win the prize to-morrow, I will advance my claims for 
 Iher hand, for I know I have her heart. 
 
 "SHE LOOKS SO PRETTY." 
 
 Captain. I've a sweetheart gay and handsome, 
 Without her smiles I feel so lonesome. 
 She ever is my only thought. 
 Her hand in marriatre I have sousfht. 
 For she's so pretty, 
 And is so witty 
 
 She is my only sweetheart. 
 It is a pity 
 That this my ditty 
 
 Will never reach her sweet heart. 
 
 II. 
 
 She is a maiden proud and haughty, 
 Is rich, and knows how to be naughty, 
 Still always will I cherish near 
 To my poor heart, her memory dear. 
 For she's so pretty, &c. 
 
 {Boat song heard outside. ) 
 
 Captain. It Is the girls, and now to prepare the boys. 
 
 {Exit) 
 
 {jGirls who have been singing softly during the Captain's speech float 
 in in boats, 7vith baskets, skipping ropes^ ^'c. presenting a picnic 
 party.)
 
 13 
 
 "BOAT SONG." 
 
 Girls' Chorus. Singing- merri'ly 
 As the wavelets 
 
 Chase each other to the shore. 
 Laughing cherrily, 
 As the sunlight, 
 
 Tints with gold the dripping oar^ 
 Gaily singing, 
 Laughter ringing, 
 
 As we glide: along. 
 Laughter ringing. 
 Gaily singing. 
 In our joyous song. 
 
 Then as we glide and drift along, 
 Come join, come join, our joyous song,. 
 Then as we glide and drift along, 
 Come join, come join, our joyous song^ 
 
 {Cadets enter, and Join in chorus.) 
 
 Cadets. Now, as you glide and drift along, 
 
 We'll join we'll join, your joyous song. 
 
 {When the girls have landed Mile, sings.)) 
 
 "THE MEETING." 
 
 Jiflle. 'Tis a pleasure I admit. 
 
 That our beauty and your wit, 
 Have thus been united here, 
 Though it's not requited clear. 
 But young gentlemen, I say 
 On this beaming Summer day. 
 We are here to rusticate 
 And we come to recreate. 
 I really know not whether. 
 As we thus have met together, 
 If We should go, or stay right here^ 
 With these gentlemen so near ;; 
 But to carry out our mission^. 
 I will make thlsv proposition:
 
 14 
 
 Shall we go, or shall we stay? 
 You can all vote aye or nay. 
 
 Chorus. ( Girls, Cadets.) Yes, we will vote, 
 
 Yes, they will vote. 
 
 MJJc. Ladies, what do you conclude. 
 
 Shall these cadets on us intrude ? 
 Ladies, please now, let me know — 
 Shall we stay or shall we go ? 
 
 Chorus. ( Girls.) No, no, no, no, no. 
 Mile. Or shall we stay ? 
 Chorus. {Girls, Cadets.) Yes, yes, yes, yes, 
 
 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 
 
 Mile. Well, I think I must relent, 
 . And consent if 'tis pleasant ; 
 
 All young girls will have their way, 
 So we'll stay and spend the day. 
 
 CJiorus. We are glad she did consent. 
 For to us it is pleasant ; 
 All young girls will have their way. 
 So we '11 stay and spend the day. 
 
 Mile. That this meeting is a surprise. 
 Gentlemen, you must admit ; 
 We are illy prepared to receive, 
 Company cadets, as our costumes will vouch. 
 Tom. Pardon ladies, let this company of cadets receive you. 
 Mile. Well as this is an event, we will set aside formalities 
 and collectively represent one pleasure party. Let our aim be, 
 mutual enjoyment. 
 
 Cadets and Girls. Bravo! Good, etc. 
 Sally. Horrid, what would society say ? 
 
 Where is May, she should have been here ere this ? 
 She left us as we rounded the willows, to gather water 
 
 Mile. 
 
 Milly. 
 lilies. 
 
 Mile. 
 hearted 
 
 Sally. 
 
 That mad-cap girl is as adventurous as she is light- 
 and by herself, too. That 's very imprudent 
 Horrid! What would society say? 
 {May laughs outside^
 
 15 
 
 Mile. Here comes the nymph, clashing through the snowy 
 spray like a gleam of sunshine. 
 
 [May floats in.) 
 
 'THE MERRY SCHOOL GIRL." 
 
 May. The merry school girl you see, 
 
 Always teeming with glee ; 
 Reading books day and night ; 
 Books so gay and so light. 
 But there oft comes a time 
 When the school bell doth chime, 
 When to rest I must go, 
 And think of my sweet beau. 
 Oh, how dear he is ; 
 My heart is only his. 
 He is a gay cadet. 
 He is my only pet. 
 For loving is so sweet. 
 If we could only meet. 
 
 Oh! meet! 
 
 Ah! meet. 
 If we could only meet. 
 
 Chorus. We're merry school girls every one ; 
 We're jolly, playful, full of fun. 
 Then let us be happy this day. 
 Let us dance, and sing, and play. 
 
 May. My heart is light, 
 
 My smiles are bright ; 
 I laugh at sorrow 
 In the morrow. 
 
 Mile. But take care 
 
 And beware 
 The sunlight lasts awhile ; 
 For the morrow, 
 Oft brings sorrow ; 
 Then vanish every smile.
 
 IG 
 
 Chorus. Don't talk of grief, 
 For it is our belief 
 That we will but play, 
 On our holiday. 
 
 May. Then let us go on with our play^ 
 
 And let no one say nay ; 
 For on this, our holiday, 
 We '11 be merry and gay, 
 And let every one say, 
 That the light-hearted May 
 Came this day, 
 Here to stay, 
 To sing, to dance and play. 
 
 Mile. How imprudent of you, May, to be upon the water 
 alone. 
 
 May. Scold me after awhile, please, there's a good Mile. 
 {Aside.) Isn't this jolly, and such dashing fellows, too; I'll speak 
 to them. How d'y ? 
 
 Mile. May, remember where you are. 
 
 May. We are here, where freedom reigns supreme. Please 
 let me break the fetters of propriety, and be myself for awhile, 
 won't you? And when we return, oh! I'll be so good, and 
 will mind ever so many P's and Q's. But what I do now, you 
 know, won't count. Have you seen the Captain ? No ! Pshaw! 
 Nor Max ? Well, that's a pity. 
 
 {E?iter Max and Captain.) 
 
 "RECOGNITION." 
 
 May and Mile. 'Tis he! 
 Captain and Max. 'Tis she. 
 Max and Captain. What joyous delight 
 Is this moment of bliss. 
 
 There's no pleasure so bright 
 As a rapture like this. 
 'Tis a rapture so bright, 
 ,. And a joyous delight ; 
 
 There's no pleasure like this, 
 In these moments' sweet bliss. 
 
 ■ .-?:<
 
 17 
 
 3Iay and Mile. Oh! this meeting is so queer. 
 Captaht and Max. 'Tis m)' only love, my dear. 
 Chorus. They have met, they have met before. 
 May and Millc. I have met my only dear. 
 Chorus. They have met but to adore. 
 Chorus. It is evident, and clear, 
 These two parties have met before. 
 
 {Song continues to Jinale.) 
 * * -* * * 
 
 [end of act first.]
 
 18 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 iSCENE. — Park grounds adjoining Cadet school, flowers, &•€. Two 
 cannons pointing r. and L. to front. Statues and flags about the 
 stage. School giris discovered at rise of curtain. 
 
 " HOLIDAY." 
 
 '.Chorus, This day has brought pleasure 
 
 We had not expected ; 
 Its joy and its leisure 
 We have not rejected, 
 On our holiday, 
 To lure us away. 
 
 Away to the wildwood, 
 
 Where nature is dearest, 
 With scenes of our childhood, 
 That hold us the nearest. 
 To lure us away. 
 On our holiday. 
 
 The flowers are brighter, 
 The summer breeze lighter. 
 
 On our holiday. 
 
 To lure us away. 
 The birds in their singing, 
 A welcome are bringing, 
 
 To lure us away, 
 
 On our holiday. 
 
 Milly. Oh, how fortunate girls, to select these grounds ; and 
 Tvhat a zest the cadets have given our enjoyment. Why, by 
 ourselves, our picnic would have been as stupid as an old maid's 
 tea party. 
 
 Sally, Horrid ! what will society say ? 
 
 i^May laughs outside^
 
 19 
 
 Chorics. There comes May. 
 
 {Enter May and 3 file.) 
 
 May. Girls, assist me to persuade this model of propriety to 
 step from her lofty pedestal. I 've got an idea. 
 
 Chorus. What is it ? 
 
 May. It 's a daisy. A surprise for the cgdets at to-morrow's 
 examination. Suppose we adopt the French plan, and meet 
 them as vivandieres. True, the cadets are not soldiers yet, and 
 may never be — until the next draft. The idea is novel, to say 
 the least, even if they do not grasp our meaning. A vivan- 
 diere in fun-loving France means something. Why not institute 
 something similar in this republic of plagiarisms ? Men have 
 stolen our language, and compiled a dictionary from foreign 
 tongues. Women could not dress now-a-days if it were not for 
 imported fashion-plates, then why should not we peculate from 
 military styles over the water ? 
 
 Chorus. Vive la vivandiere! 
 
 Sallie. Horrid! What will society say? 
 
 May. Oh, bother society. It 's governed by Mrs. Grundy 
 now, so let us think of sure enough society — the society of 
 the cadets — who, by the way, are in yonder grove awaiting us. 
 Bear in mind our new venture, and to-morrow keep mum, and 
 do credit to the American vivandiere. 
 
 Chorus. Vive la vivandiere! 
 
 [Exeunt " Holiday " Chorus, all but Mile.) 
 
 May. [Looking back.) Say, you sweet, there — shall I say some- 
 thing sweet and soothing to poor disconsolate Max ? 
 
 Mile. Oh! no! no! Please, don't! 
 
 Max. That means, of course, ta! ta! 
 
 [Exeunt.) 
 
 Mile. Bless her heart, she knows my secret. It was my fault 
 alone that Max and I were parted! Oh! false pride, how many 
 aching hearts have you to answer for, how many vain regrets 
 have you caused! Ah, me, could we but recall the pleasures of 
 the past! 
 
 "THE PLEASURES OF THE PAST.' 
 
 Mile. Oh, how pleasures of the past 
 
 Will bring remembrance long forgotten; 
 Like a shadow they will last,
 
 20 
 
 A dream of love, 
 A dream of love begotten. 
 Life was like a dancing sunbeam, 
 
 Free from every blight, 
 Sparkling dew drops in the sun gleam, 
 
 Glist'ning ne'er so bright. 
 Then I heard the brooklet singing 
 
 To the flowerets on its way, 
 Then I heard the old bells ringing, 
 Tinkling, tinkling, in their play. 
 Oh, youth! 
 My youth! 
 Dear youth! 
 Then my heart with joy was bounding-,, 
 
 Then my song with glee was sounding,. 
 And the tuneful winds rebounding, 
 Sang the echo to my song ; 
 ■ Dreams of home will last 
 Forever, ever last. 
 
 [Enter May, Jiiirriedly^, 
 
 Max. Nov/ I have done it! 
 
 Mile. Done what ? 
 
 May. Put my foot in it, as usual. 
 
 Mile. What! have you rejected the Colonel, or have you ac- 
 cepted the Captain ? 
 
 ATay. It's worse than that. Before we came on this excur- 
 sion, I sent an advertisement to a paper published near here, 
 requesting a cadet correspondent. 
 
 Mile. Why, May! 
 
 May. That 's nothing. The villainous paper has just ar- 
 rived, and here it is. Listen. 
 
 Duet. — May and Mile.. 
 
 "WANTED, A CORRESPONDENT." 
 
 Wanted, by one despondent, 
 A cadet correspondent, 
 Who can demand
 
 21 
 
 My heart and hand 
 
 If he can name | 
 
 Any month he can remember, 
 From January to December, 
 
 To-night, by dark, 
 
 In the grand park. ' 
 
 MUe. Then he can claim, 
 
 If he should name 
 Any month he can remember, 
 From January to December, 
 Your heart and hand ? 
 
 3fay. He can demand 
 
 My heart and hand. 
 
 If he can name 
 
 Any month he can remember. 
 
 From January to December, 
 
 My heart and my hand. 
 
 Mile. Pray why this alarm ? How does this concern the 
 Colonel or the Captain ? 
 
 May. It is as simple as I am. There is a figure five at the 
 iDottom of the advertisement, is there not ? May is the fifth 
 month, is it not? My name is May, is it not ? Both the Colo- 
 nel and the Captain are acquainted with that fact, are they 
 not? They both love me, do they not? Now to recapitulate, 
 won't they see immediately, that the month to be named is May ? 
 Oh! what shall I do ? what shall I do ? 
 
 Mile. You certainly are in a dilemma! 
 
 May. Worse than that! I am in a fix! Every cadet has a 
 paper, and to cap the climax they are all tight — oh won't there 
 Tdc a picnic in the park to-night. I guess not. 
 
 Mile. This is no time for levity. Write a note to the Cap- 
 tain, of a discouraging character. His pride will keep him 
 away. I will write a tender missive to Max, and try to bring 
 Iiim to my feet again. 
 
 Afay. Capital idea, but hardly original. I have two already 
 prepared in case of an accident. One is very sweet, and the 
 other very tart. You take the sugar plum, and I '11 'tend to the 
 lemon drop.
 
 22 
 
 Mile. {Glancing at /icr letter.) This expresses my sentiment 
 exactly. 
 
 May. And tliis not mine. Ah me! how shall we send them? 
 
 {Looks off.) Goodness, here they come! Let 's put the letters in 
 
 those cannons. Quick! Quick! {-^Lay puts letter in cannon^ 
 
 R., Mile, in ca/mon L ) 
 
 {Enter Max and Captain?^ 
 
 "THE CANNON." 
 
 Captain. {Recite.) We meet, we meet again; 
 
 Z've searched for you in vain. 
 
 Max. {To Mile.) You ladies have eluded us. 
 
 I 'm glad it has concluded thus. 
 
 Mile. {To Max.) You 're dull of comprehension, 
 
 That was not our intention. 
 
 May. {To Captain.) To you I will make no retort ; 
 
 The cannon will give my report. 
 
 Max. The cannon! 
 
 Captain. The cannon! 
 
 Captain and Max. Which one? which one ? 
 
 ( Pointing to cannons,^ 
 
 May. The cannon! 
 
 Mile. The cannon! 
 
 May and Mile. That gun! That gun! 
 
 ( Pointing to cannons.)) 
 
 May. Your response! 
 
 Mile. Your response! 
 
 May and Mile. We crave! we crave! 
 
 Captain. Our response ? 
 
 Max. Our response ? 
 
 {Captain and Max.)' 
 
 You rave! You rave!. 
 
 {Exeunt May and Mile., singing.)' 
 
 The cannon! The cannon! 
 That gun! That gun!
 
 23 
 
 The cannon! The cannon!' 
 
 'Tis fun ! 'Tis fun! 
 The cannon! The cannon! 
 
 That one! That one! 
 The cannon! The cannon! 
 
 We're won! We're won! [^KxreuttfL 
 
 Captain. [Speaking.) The cannon' Our response ? Ah^ I 
 have it! See, there is something in those cannons. 
 
 Max. Then let's both together with our small arms 
 Attack the battery which gives alarms. 
 
 {Both go mysteriously to cannons. Max gets letter intended for Cap^ 
 tain and Captain the one intended for Max.) 
 
 Max. To this male robbery we must assent, 
 
 Though we cheat Uncle Sam out of a cent. 
 
 Captain. {Reads letter^ Dearest friend of the past,, 
 
 We meet again at last ; 
 We meet to part no more.. 
 
 Max. [Reads letter.) Intruder of the past, 
 
 We meet again at last ; 
 We part to meet no more.. 
 
 Captain. [Reads.) Darling, be submissive ; 
 
 When you read this missive,,, 
 'Twill show how I adore; 
 I live to love, you know.. 
 
 Max. [Reads.) ' I cannot be submissive, 
 
 When you receive this missive^ 
 'Twill show how I abhor; 
 I love to live, you know. 
 
 Captain. Don't be despondent. Max, change to your liverjr 
 mood. 
 
 Max. I decline all moods when my anger's \x\te?isry. 
 Y'erb-age like this ca.n't predicate good sense^ 
 
 Captain. Fate, fortune and luck are the gamester's trinity. 
 Love is but a game of chance, so cheer up, old b«y.. My 
 heart I cannot leave behind. All else is yours, my friend',. \I'^xxe^
 
 24 
 
 Max. I can get no comfort from this s/ieet, 
 
 Oh, dash-blanked, why* did we ever meet? 
 
 ( Throws it on stage. Takes out note hook and 7vrites, " liaise one 
 farewell." Tears it from book and places it in cannon in which 
 May had placed hers.) 
 
 Cannon, I ca7i on you not look again, 
 Or 7i.ieep on a weapon that gives such pain; 
 I am opposed to you as 2i penny post, 
 Posted rightly you'd light up any post. 
 
 "FALSE ONE, FAREWELL." 
 
 L 
 
 Max. False one, farewell. 
 
 We part forever ; 
 This letter will tell 
 I loved you ever. 
 My heart is broken — 
 
 My poor heart — 
 And by this token 
 You know we part. 
 
 My love, farewell ! 
 Farewell, my love ! 
 
 n. 
 
 False one we part ; 
 
 The love I cherished, 
 Dies in my heart — 
 
 All hope has perished. 
 Vows have been spoken, 
 
 Vows so true, 
 All have been broken, 
 
 My love, by you. 
 
 My love, farewell ! 
 Farewell, my love ! 
 
 [Exit Max. Enter May.) 
 
 May. He has gone, and before I could tell him how wicked 
 and naughty I have been, and how very, very sorry and
 
 25 
 
 wretched I am. {Picks up letter Max has thraion away.) 'Tis 
 my letter. Will he cast me away as he did this? Oh, why did 
 I write these cruel words ? Now for his response. (Takes letter 
 frofn cannon.) Alas! as expected. Oh ! if he only knew how 
 my heart yearns for his love. (Sings.) 
 
 "MY ONLY LOVE." 
 
 My only love, my darling. 
 
 This cruel letter brings 
 To me a sad, sad story, 
 
 That sunders my heart-strings. 
 The love you have rejected 
 
 Will live alone for you; 
 'Twill die if not accepted, 
 
 But dying will be true. 
 
 Yes, true, so true, 
 My love, my love for you, 
 
 'Twill evei, ever be. 
 
 My love, to thee 
 So true, 
 So true, 
 Yes, dying, will be true to you. 
 
 May. Horrors! here comes that incorrigible Colonel. Shall 
 I take revenge upon the Captain by being talked to death by 
 this limping bore ? My heart says " no," my nerves echo the 
 same, and the majority wins. So here goes. 
 
 (Staris to run off. Enter Colonel, who detains her.) 
 
 (Trio. — Colonel, Captain and May.) 
 
 " PLEADING." 
 
 Colonel. Stay, do not leave me, dearest May ; 
 
 Love me, my darling, love me, I pray ; 
 Do not reject affection warm and true, 
 See, my poor heart is pleading to you.
 
 2& 
 
 Captain. 
 
 Colonel. 
 
 May. 
 
 Captain. 
 Colonel. 
 
 May. 
 
 Captain. 
 
 Colonel. 
 
 May. 
 
 {Enter Captain^. 
 {Captain and Colonel^' 
 
 Oh, fair and false one, 
 
 Why thus deceive me? 
 Oh, false and fair one, 
 
 Why do you grieve me ? 
 Why break the bond, love, 
 Made by a fond love, 
 
 Why break the bond of love ? 
 
 Stay, do not leave me, dearest May; 
 Love me, my darling, love me, I pray j 
 Do not reject one fond and true, 
 Smile on one true ta you. 
 
 Ah! lackaday, 
 What shall I say, 
 
 What shall I do ? 
 If you are my beau, 
 I cannot, you know. 
 
 Love both of you. 
 I will be forever true to one, 
 But one of you I have to sh<uiT^ 
 Oh, yes, it must be done. 
 
 {Captain and Colonel^ 
 
 Oh, false and fair one, etc. 
 
 Stay, do not leave me, dearest May, etc;. 
 
 {May, Captain, Colonel^ 
 
 What shall I do? 
 What shall I say? 
 
 I never thought she 'd treat me so. 
 
 I never thought she 'd treat me so^ 
 
 Who will advise me ? 
 He does despise me.
 
 Captain. She will despise me, 
 Who will advise me ? 
 
 Colonel. My fond affection, fond and true. 
 
 Meets with rejection, dear, from you. 
 
 {Exit May, hiirricJly.) 
 
 Colonel. So, sir, I presume at last we understand each othen. 
 Eh ? Ah ? No ? {Captain nods.) Yes ? Thanks. 
 
 Captain. Certainly, •Colonel. 
 
 Colonel. 'Tis well. I presume you love the lady. Eh ? Ah ? 
 No ? [Captain nods.) Yes ? Thanks. Sorry for you, Captain. 
 There's no chance for you. 
 
 Captaifi. She has consented, then ? 
 
 Colonel. Well, not exactly, but — that is — her father arranges 
 those minor details. 
 
 Captain. {Aside.) There 's still hope. {Aloud.) I had nO' 
 idea I had so formidable an adversary to cope with, ColoneL 
 You have conquered. I congratulate you. Good afternoon. 
 
 [Exit.. 
 
 Colo?iel. Remarkably fine young man, possessed with fine 
 feelings and a proper respect for me. I will see what can be: 
 done for him in the next secret session. {Laughing heard outside. 
 Colonel looks off.) Tipsy, I declare! The cadets have taken advan- 
 tage of a free lunch, that 's certain, and as Justice is blind, I pre- 
 sume T have to wink at this little pleasantry. There may be 
 some influential young men in the party. Policy, Colonel, eh.^ 
 Ah? No? Yes? Thanks. [Exit. 
 
 {Billy and Tom on t side, singing.) 
 
 "DRUNKEN DUET." 
 
 We are two- partners, so bold and free, 
 
 • We never neglect our duty ; 
 We are two lovers so free and bold, 
 
 And ever respect our beauty. \^Entering.\ 
 
 Billy. We are two partners, so bold and free, 
 
 Oiit on a little spree. 
 
 Tom. My boy, I am all right on the wine,
 
 28 
 
 "But you've been left on your beer,; 
 Why did you not take the wine ? 
 
 £illy. Why did not I take the wine ? 
 
 My boy, I 'm all right on the beer-; 
 But you have been left on your wine;; 
 Why did you not take the beer? 
 
 Tom. Why did I take the beer? 
 
 Beer makes us queer. 
 
 ^illy. (Aside.) Beer makes him queer; 
 Wine makes us fine. 
 
 Tom. Wine makes him fine. 
 
 Tom and Billy. Give us the beer and the wine,; 
 We'll be queer and be fine. 
 
 To7n. Here's a toast, friend, to the juice of the grape:: 
 Hail to the joy-giving wine. 
 Why did you not take the wine ? 
 
 jBilly. Whydid 1 not take the wine ? 
 
 Here 's a toast, friend, to the hops and the malf: 
 Hail to this beverage dear. 
 Why did you not take the beer ? 
 
 jTom. Why did I not take the beer ? 
 Beer makes us queer. 
 
 .Billy. Beer makes us queer; 
 Wine makes us fine. 
 
 Tom. Wine makes him fine. 
 
 Tofn and Billy. Give us the beer and the wine, 
 We'll be queer and be fine. 
 
 Tern and .Billy. We are joyous if we have wine and beer. 
 Both have their followers here, 
 Both jDring us joy and give cheer, 
 We '11 be friendly to the wme and the beer ; 
 Cherish their memory dear. 
 Long live the wine and the beer; 
 Long live the wine ; long live the oeer! 
 
 \ Exeunt Tom and Billy.
 
 29 
 
 {Enter Max and Colonel, with papers?) 
 
 Max. This paper here, for which \ pay per year, 
 
 Gives me the right cheer, and 'tis right here, 
 {Reads.) Wanted, by one despondent, 
 A cadet correspondent. 
 
 Colonel. {Reads.) Any month he can remember, 
 From January to December. 
 Why it 's from May. Do you see 
 That figure five at the bottom ? 
 Eh ? Ah ? No ? {Max nods.) Yes ? Thanks!: 
 Now watcli, January, one; February, 
 Two; March, three; April, four; 
 May, five. Am I not correct ? 
 Eh ? Ah ? No ? {Max nods.) Yes ? Thanksf 
 
 Max. Such summary notice, I '11 bet a treat, 
 
 Ignores the pensive pen of August sweet. 
 
 Colonel. I '11 take it; for look, novv^ we will reverse the 
 months, and still consider that same figure five. December, 
 one; November, two; October, three; September, four; August, 
 five. I 'm correct, am I not ? Eh ? Ah ? no ? {Max nods.) Yes ? 
 Thanks. So then we can expect either August or May at the 
 mention of — {Hums.) 
 
 Any month he can remember, 
 From January to December. 
 
 {Lavghing outside^ Here come the cadets; zigzaging this way. 
 They, too, are searching for the mysterious correspondent. I 
 wonder what has got into the boys to-day. 
 
 Max. Beer! They 've put a head on lager, I'll bet. 
 And lager's put a head on each cadet. 
 
 {Laughing continues^ 
 
 Colonel. They don't seem to be at /a^<?r //^^a^j-, though ; see ? 
 logger heads. Good joke, eh? Ah? No? {Max nods.) Yes? 
 thanks.
 
 30 
 
 fl^Cadets enter mysteriously, with papers, bottles, glasses, rather tipsy) 
 
 "PAPER CHORUS." 
 
 Cadets' Chorus. January, February, 
 March, April, May, 
 June, July, •August, 
 September, October, 
 And November, 
 Perhaps December. 
 
 Colonel. [Sings.) January, February, 
 March, April, May. 
 
 {Enter May back, sees Cadets, sings.) 
 
 Jifay. So many men when I did one mention, 
 
 I'll tell the girls the joke and these men shun. 
 
 [£xit May. 
 
 'Col. {Continues.) June, July, August 
 And September, 
 October and November, 
 And perhaps December. 
 
 Chorus. January, February,, etc. 
 
 i^Enter Mile. All rush towards her, thinking she is the expected one. 
 Girls enter mysteriously) 
 
 ^Colonel. [Recite.) 'Tis the writer. 
 Max. . 'Tis my August. 
 
 Colonel. She has come right here. 
 
 Max. What do you say ? 
 
 Colonel. Your pardon I pray, 
 
 I thought it was May, 
 Max. To grant it I must. 
 
 For it is August. 
 Colonel. Though it is accepted, 
 
 I am rejected. 
 
 My May is not here; 
 
 I tremble with fear.
 
 81 
 
 "LAUGHING SONG." 
 
 Mile. Why, things are getting complicated ; 
 They are not what I contemplated • 
 Instead of meeting you 
 I find here more than two, 
 
 Chorus. {Cadets and girls. ^ Ha! ha! hal ha! ha! etc. 
 
 3Iax. This is a disappointment ; 
 
 It 's not as to appointment, 
 ' For I was coming here ; 
 To meet my only dear. 
 
 Chorus. 
 Colonel. 
 
 Ha! ha' ha' etc. 
 
 She treated me like you, 
 Asked for a rendezvous; 
 
 She used me as a tool. 
 And I feel like a fool. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 Ha! ha! ha! etc. 
 
 {Enter May and Captain frotn opposite sides. Colonel rushes to meet 
 her. Is thrown aside. Mile, and Captain make advances to 
 Max and A fay which are rejected. Recit.) 
 
 Captain, 
 
 May. 
 
 Max, 
 
 Mile. 
 
 Colonel. 
 
 May. 
 
 Captain. 
 
 Colonel. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 See this letter. 
 
 And see these two, 
 See this paper. 
 
 'Twas not for you. 
 There s some misunderstanding. 
 
 I did not write this. 
 Nor did^ indite this. 
 
 There s some misunderstanding. 
 
 The future will tell 
 Which loving belle 
 
 Has the ring to-niorrow. 
 When the bells are tolled,
 
 32 
 
 The story 's told 
 
 Of joy or of sorrow. 
 
 To-morrow, to-morrow, 
 When the bells are tolled, 
 
 To-morrow, to-morrow. 
 Then the story's told. 
 
 Cadets. We 're a jolly set of boys, etc.,, 
 
 We're a jolly set of boys. 
 
 [end of second act.]
 
 33 
 
 ACT III. 
 
 Parade (^Toutids adjoining Cadet Sehool. Flags, etc. River seen-; 
 back. Two profile tents set R. and l. Curtain rises on school 
 girls dressed as vivandieres. 
 
 {Girls' Chorus.) 
 
 "THE U. S. A." 
 
 We 're merry maids, 
 
 As you can see, 
 We're merry maids, 
 
 And full of glee, 
 And merry maids 
 We '11 ever be — 
 Be married yet 
 To a Cadet. 
 
 As you will surely see, 
 
 We can t sfo back on thee; 
 For this is all we have to say: 
 We want the U. S. A. 
 The U. S. A. 
 It is O. K., 
 
 It suits both you and me 
 
 And Uncle Sam 
 Don't care a 
 
 If you pay your taxes P. D. Q. 
 
 {Enter Mile.) 
 
 "VIVE LA VIVANDIERE." 
 
 Mile. Life has its pleasures, 
 
 With joy tis laden;
 
 Chorus. 
 Mile. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 34 
 
 Love has the treasures 
 Sought by each maiden. 
 
 Life in us teeming, 
 We have its pleasure, 
 
 Love on us beaming, 
 We find its treasure. 
 
 Vive Le Vivandiere, etc. 
 
 Vive Le Vivandiere, 
 Long live love and life! 
 
 My Vivandiere, 
 Be happy, joyous dears! 
 
 Long live love and life, 
 Vive Le Vivandiere. 
 
 Vive Le Vivandiere, etc. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 {Enter May?) 
 
 "THE GAY CADET." 
 L 
 
 My sweetheart is a gay Cadet, 
 A Cadet gay, a gay Cadet; 
 
 His scars and wounds are few as yet, 
 For he's a gay Cadet. 
 
 He steps behind the band. 
 With sabre in his hand, 
 
 His head erect, 
 
 You would suspect 
 He'd fight all armies in the land; 
 He follows close the band. 
 With kid gloves on his hand, 
 
 His eyes turned right. 
 
 His buttons bright, 
 And kid gloves on his hand. 
 
 He steps behind the band. 
 With sabre in his hand, etc.
 
 35 
 
 II. 
 
 The only powder that for weeks 
 The Cadet gay, this gay Cadet 
 
 Has used, is now upon his cheeks, 
 For he 's a gay Cadet. 
 
 Chorus. He steps behind the band, 
 
 With sabre in his hand, etc. 
 
 III. 
 
 In tactics he finds but few charms, 
 This Cadet gay, this gay Cadet; 
 
 He Hkes best command " to arms," 
 For he 's a gay Cadet. 
 
 Chorus. He steps behind the band. 
 
 With sabre in his hand, etc. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 IV. 
 
 In Greek and Latin he is learned. 
 This Cadet gay, this gay Cadet, 
 
 But before he'd work he'd see you 
 For he 's a gay Cadet. 
 
 He steps behind the band. 
 With sabre in his hand, etc. 
 
 May. Girls, you are just perfectly charming. I pity the 
 poor cadets if they have any hearts — but what if they have not, 
 they have eyes, and to see and be seen is the height of our ambi- 
 tion. Have the cadets left the armory ? 
 
 Milly. Not as yet. Won't they be surprised ? 
 
 Sally. Horrid! Think of society. 
 
 Mile. Now, May, that your wliim is satisfied and we have 
 been transformed into vivandieres, what is the next feature on 
 your programme of oddities ? 
 
 May. First to thank you for giving your consent to this
 
 36 
 
 masquerading, as you call it {A'lsscs //cf), and next to inform 
 you that Pa has discovered at last that Colonel Sempronius 
 Snooks is a gigantic fraud, and has been accepting bribes from 
 the other side, and the next — well, let that be a blank for the 
 present. Perhaps the Captain may inform you. 
 
 M//e. So my little rose turns toward the sun again. Capri- 
 cious girl, you are an enigma. 
 
 Jfay. Then do not solve me, for all the pleasure the puzzle 
 gives is in the worry to probe it. When once the secret spring 
 is touched, and the hidden mysteries are disclosed, then 'tis cast 
 aside for other minds to conjure out its intricacies while we 
 dissect the rosebud. We admire its painted leaves and tender 
 folds, but tear its little heart out with cruel hands. So let me 
 be your rosebud, your unsolved enigma. {Music for Cadets.) 
 Oh, jolly! Here they are at last, and now, my darling vivan- 
 dieres, be staunch. 
 
 {Enter Cadets, with Max, in full Niiifonii.) 
 
 "CADETS' CHORUS." 
 
 Max. Halt, we have reached the lonely station 
 Which cuts short our brief vacation, 
 It is the spot to all so solitary. 
 
 Where the Colonel drills the military. 
 
 Chorus. Full of courage are we when 'tis peace. 
 For in war we always take our ease; 
 Ever ready for a fight. 
 
 Or, if necessary, for a flight. 
 
 Max. We are always in for sport. 
 
 Flirting, loving, singing is our forte; 
 We are always jolly, full of fun. 
 And from the ladies never run. 
 
 Chorus. Full of courage are we when 'tis peace, etc. 
 
 {Enter Colonel?^ 
 
 Colonel. I am the Colonel of this regiment. 
 And drill these troops,
 
 37 
 
 To any other soldiers, never, 
 
 Never will we stoop. 
 The reason why we never 
 
 Did the world conquer, 
 Because in any earnest fight 
 
 We never, never were. 
 
 Chorus. Because in any earnest fight, 
 We never, never were, etc. 
 
 Colonel. But when in war the drums do beat, 
 
 We will not hesitate to meet 
 The bayonet and cannon shot, 
 
 'Tis then we'll make it hot, hot, hot; 
 And marching on along we '11 march, 
 
 We '11 battle with the universe, 
 And marching on, along we '11 march, 
 
 We'll fight — we'll fight — perhaps disperse. 
 
 {^Exeunt all but Allle. and May.) 
 
 May. How grand he looked, and how noble. 
 
 Mile. Who? Max? 
 
 May. No! The Captain! I have always doubted that love 
 was blind, and now I am convinced, or why should you only 
 see the Sergeant, when my eyes were alone on the Captain. 
 What a curious machine the heart is when out of order. I 
 think I '11 place a sign over mine, " closed for repairs," and em- 
 ploy the Captain to tinker at it. You had best engage Max to 
 put yours in running order, and we '11 demand the usual guar- 
 antee, " warranted for so many years." 
 
 Aflle. I envy you your position May; would that I had it: 
 Ah! me. 
 
 May. I 'II inoculate you with it {kisses her). There now you 
 are infected, but before it becomes contagious, cast your vision 
 on those tents. Do they not suggest rest for the weary, and 
 invite us to a nap in the afternoon ?
 
 38 
 
 "A NAP IN THE AFTERNOON." 
 
 I. 
 
 Duef, May and Mile. A nap in the afternoon 
 
 Is loved by every one ; 
 The songsters forget their tune, 
 
 As slowly sinks the sun ; 
 A nap in the afternoon 
 
 When all around is still, 
 When nature awaits the moon. 
 There is a pleasant thrill ; 
 
 For moons have their play time 
 Alone in the day time. 
 
 And nap in the afternoon. 
 
 Chorus. A nap in the afternoon 
 
 Is the best, 
 
 It brings rest ; 
 To banish sorrow soon, 
 Take a nap in the afternoon 
 
 II. 
 
 To nap in the afternoon 
 
 Your blinds or shutters close; 
 With fond memories commune 
 
 Throughout your noonday doze; 
 To nap in the afternoon 
 
 Think of the coming night; 
 From gems nearest the moon 
 Select one star-gem bright. 
 
 For stars have their play time, 
 Alone in the day time, 
 
 And nap in the afternoon. 
 
 Chorus. A nap in the afternoon 
 
 Is the best, 
 It brings rest ; 
 To banish sorrow soon, 
 Take a nap in the afternoon. 
 
 {Exit into opposite tents, leaving only their feet to be discovered.)
 
 39 
 
 {^Enter Captain^ 
 
 Captain. Surely I heard female voices here, and I am posi- 
 tive that May possessed one of them. I cannot understand 
 that maiden. She seems to love me, and always tries to mis- 
 understand me. What claim can that Sempronius Snookes 
 have upon her affections [discovers Mile's feet). ' Tis she. Bless 
 her little heart — I mean her little feet {discovers May's feet), and 
 bless her little heart and feet. I 'II give them a wholesale bless- 
 ing so as not to be mistaken ; bless all their little hearts and 
 feet. Would that May's were mine — her heart I mean, not her 
 feet. Nobody looking — that's good, so I'll give them both a 
 noonday serenade. [Sings.) 
 
 "NOONDAY SERENADE." 
 
 Captain. Dream, dearest mine, 
 
 Of the love I bear; 
 Sweet dreams be thine, 
 
 Dream, my darling fair. 
 My only dear. 
 Birds around with fear, 
 Say, in notes clear, 
 
 *Love, oh, love me dear, 
 
 I ask it with fear ; 
 
 In Cupid's name. 
 
 Love, oh, love me dear. 
 So ease my heart. 
 
 From sorrow and pain ; 
 We must not part. 
 
 When next we meet again. 
 
 "• 
 
 Dream, dearest mine, 
 
 Dream the hours away ; 
 Sleep, darling mine, 
 
 Through this summer's day. 
 My dearest one, 
 
 Zephyrs round thee play; 
 Watching the sun. 
 
 Kissing smiles away. •
 
 40 
 
 Oh, for the bliss 
 
 Which the winds enjoy' 
 Oh, for a kiss 
 
 Where the sunbeams toy. 
 Then ease my heart, 
 
 From sorrow and pain ; 
 We must not part, 
 
 If e'er we meet again. 
 
 Mile. {Coming frotn tent?) My darling Max. 
 
 Captain. {About to embrace^ when mistake is 7-eeognized.) 
 
 Mile. Pardon, captain, I thought — That is, I 
 
 Captain. Spare your blushes Mile., or mingle them with my 
 mortification. Only a case of mistaken identity. Ha! ha! 
 You thought I was the sergeant, and I, in turn, imagined you 
 to be 
 
 Mile. May, of course. And I took those flattering words all 
 to myself. Ha ! ha ! 
 
 Captain. You deserved them, I mean from other lips. Ah ! 
 there she is. {Looks into tent) How tired she looks. 
 
 Mile. Yes, like a ransomed bird, fluttering from the bars that 
 late imprisoned it. At the first draught of freedom its wings 
 droop, and, intoxicated with the new elixir prone it falls, to 
 become again a captive. 
 Captain. Hush! some one comes. 
 
 {Captain exits and Mile, runs off) 
 
 {Enter ]\lax, 7vJio has discovered them with field glasses. Looks at 
 Captain, and at May's feet) 
 
 Max. So, so, my bold Captain; that's your little game; 
 Auguste, too! I guessed as much. For shame! Go on. Miss 
 Mashyouths, Mash youths, if you will. You'll find this orderly, 
 orderly still. I can't be a disorderly sergeant. When Taylor, my 
 own Captain, is her gent. 
 
 "SNOOZE, SNOOZER MINE." 
 
 Max. Snooze, snoozer mine, 
 
 Snore of the hate I bear. 
 Bad dreams be thine, 
 • Doze my drowsy dear.
 
 41 
 
 You little fraud, 
 
 Crows around with fear 
 Have often cawed: 
 " She 's no good, that 's clear." 
 I say the same. 
 
 I mean what I say, 
 
 I 'm not to blame; 
 " She 's no good, that 's clear." 
 
 My heart 's at ease, 
 You 've given no pain; 
 
 Do n't, if you please, 
 Speak to me again. 
 
 Max. {^Looking off?) 
 
 Here comes the Taylor that has cut the thread 
 Which near entangled both my heart and head. 
 
 [Exit. 
 
 [Enter May and Captain from opposite sides, kurried/y.) 
 
 May. So it is to you, sir, I owe this insult. A snoozer, in- 
 deed? It 's just awful — that 's what it is. And from you, too, 
 who proffered such undying affection. I am a snoozer, am I! 
 Call me a snoozer now, if you dare! Oh! if I was only a man. 
 
 Captain. I — I 
 
 Afay. Silence, sir. Did you not sing, or rather try to sing, 
 just now ? Answer me, sir. 
 
 Captain. I did. 
 
 May. And he acknowledges it, too, without ablush; prepos- 
 terous! Leave me sir, instantly. 
 
 Captain. Then my ballad is spurned, and my loving words re- 
 jected. 
 
 Alay. Listen to the man! His senses have departed with his 
 politeness. Loving words, forsooth! In what edition of Ovid 
 did you find the loving word "snoozer" sir? 
 
 Captain. [Aside.) Surely she must have lost her wits. {Aloud.) 
 Dearest, may I — 
 
 May. Don't come near me, sir! I 'm afraid of you. 
 
 Captai?i. Ah me; everything seems to go amiss with me!
 
 42 
 
 Duet. Captain ami May. 
 
 "A MISS IS AS GOOD AS A MILE.' 
 
 Captain. A miss is good as a mile, 
 You know, 
 And the smile of a miss is mild, 
 
 You know. 
 But if Cupid's dart. 
 
 Has not hit her heart 
 Then a miss is as good as a mile. , 
 
 May. No, I do not know! 
 No, I do not know! 
 
 For I never, never, never, etc., 
 Felt the smart 
 Of Cupid's dart 
 In my young heart. 
 
 For I never, never, never, etc.. 
 
 Felt the smart 
 
 Of Cupid's dart 
 
 In my young heart. 
 
 II. 
 Captain. A miss is as good as a mile, 
 You know. 
 And the smile of a miss is mild, 
 
 I know. 
 I've shot Cupid's dart. 
 
 It has missed your heart; 
 So a miss is as good as a mile. 
 You know. 
 May. No, I do not know! 
 No, I do not know! 
 
 For I never, never, never, etc., 
 Felt the smart 
 Of Cupid's dart 
 In my young heart. 
 
 For I never, never, never, etc., 
 Felt the smart 
 Of Cupid's dart 
 In my young heart.
 
 4.'j 
 
 May. You have my answer, sir, I don't love you, never did, 
 and I never will. There, now! {Aside.) Oh, what a fib. 
 
 Captain. Then farewell; we part forever. Twill torment you 
 
 no further with my presence. There was a time when — but no 
 
 matter. Farewell. 
 
 l^Exits. 
 
 May. Shall I call him back ? No! He is too blind and stu- 
 pid. Can he not see that I love him? AVhy did he not try to 
 persuade me.' I only needed a little coaxing. Oh, dear, if all 
 lovers are like Taylor, then I pity their poor sweethearts. 
 
 \^ShoitiS oiiiside. Enter Max Jiurriedly. 
 May. What has happened.' 
 
 Max. I must apprise you. Ta3dor's won a prize. 
 May. The captain! He has gained the flag? Oh, joy! oh, 
 joy! 
 
 Max. [Aside.) This surprise shows the captain is her prize. 
 
 [exH. 
 {Enter Mile.) 
 
 Mile. May, the captain has carried off all the honors. Now, 
 are you not proud of him ? {Music outside.) Here they come to 
 present him with the flag. 
 
 {Enter 3Iax, Cadets and Girls. Cadets carry a large banner. Colonel 
 and Captain enter, and are greeted with Hurrah! Hurrah! Cadets 
 and girls congratulate the Captain.) 
 
 Colonel. 
 " INVOCATION." 
 
 See this proud banner 
 
 Of liberty! 
 
 Bend every knee 
 
 On land and sea! 
 It waves forever. 
 
 Defiant and free. 
 We have a Cause to cheer and to shout ; 
 
 Could Washington's dear flag bring doubt ? 
 *Tis recognized on every coast. 
 
 And proudly esteemed our boast. 
 Thi: standard
 
 44 
 
 Our nation 
 Hold sacred. 
 
 Chorus. To thee, oh, banner ! 
 
 We dedicate our life! 
 We 'il ever forever 
 
 Protect thee from all strife, 
 
 Male Chorus. When cannons roar 
 
 With musket and sword, 
 We will do the honor, 
 
 In deed as well as word! 
 We will ever be true 
 
 And follow you 
 Wherever you may lead on. 
 
 We will be brave 
 
 Until the grave 
 Does our grandeur feed on! 
 So dear banner, lead on! 
 
 Chorus. To thee, oh! banner, etc. 
 
 [Cadet luho holds flag retires l>aek.) 
 
 Tom. I '11 incorporate the sentiment of that song in my 
 speech on "American Independence," wouldn't you ? 
 
 Billy. I forget. 
 
 Colonel. Will Captain Taylor Montague step forward {cap- 
 tain advances.) Captain, I congratulate you to-day. You have 
 convinced me that all drills are not bores — no pun iniended. 
 You have done yourself credit, captain, and it is with pleasura- 
 ble emotion that I present you with this reward of merit, this 
 prize flag. You seem pleased, eh! Ah? No? Yes? Thanks. 
 
 Afax. Bring the flag on here, 
 
 {Cadets carry large bottle marked " Snookes.") 
 
 Not the flagon dear. 
 
 The flag, I said, so bring i\\c flag on here. 
 
 {Cadet retires, and with several others bring in large box marked with 
 the national colors, and the words " The Prize") 
 
 Colonel. Do you not feel like a hero, Captain '? Eh? Ah?
 
 45 
 
 No? {Captain nods.) Yes? Thanks. You are one. {Opcfiing 
 
 />flX.) 
 
 May. Oh! How my heart beats, and how handsome he 
 
 looks. 
 
 [Colonel feeling in box?) 
 
 Mile. I almost envy you. Oh if Max would only speak or 
 even look. 
 
 Colonel. Ah here it is [liraius outi'ery small flag). 
 Cadets and Girls. Hurrah! hurrah! 
 
 {Colonel about to give it to Captain^ when it falls. Max ivith field 
 glass finds it, and presents it to the Colonel.) 
 
 Max. Though lost to sight 'twas to memory dear, 
 
 Does the box go with it, I see here. 
 
 {Colojiel gives flag to Captain., who pins it on his lappel.) 
 
 Captain. {To May.) Now that I have carried off this trophy 
 may I not aim higher? Can I not here, in the hearing of my 
 comrades and your associates, press once more my suit? 
 
 Max. Do it like a genuine Taylor. 
 
 Colonel. Not so fast yonng men. {Messenger brings, Colonel 
 dispatch.) For me? Eh? Ah? No? {Messenger nods.) Yes? 
 Thanks. Captain, I presume you are acquainted with the 
 fact that everything is fair in love. Eh? Ah? No? {Cap- 
 tain nods.) Yes? Thanks. Then^ according to logic, I '11 be 
 everything that is. I'll be fair in love {shows dispatch). She is 
 yours if you desire her, Captain. {Messenger brings Colonel an- 
 other dispatch.) 
 
 Captain {to May). Now can I advocate my claims? Love 
 makes me brave. I '11 make the first advance. Do you surren- 
 der now? {Embraces her.) 
 
 May. Truly you have surrounded me, but how about this? 
 {Sho'ivs letter.) 
 
 Captain. It is a mystery like unto this {shows letter). 
 
 Max. {Sho7us letter to Mile.) How is this ? 
 
 Mile. I see it all now, May, those sugar and lemon drop let- 
 ters of yours have done all the mischief. Captain, this letter 
 was intended for you {shows letter), and the one you have was 
 meant for Max. It was only a plan to circumvent the Colonel.
 
 46 
 
 Colonel. Did you refer to me? Eh? Ah? No? {Mile. ?iods.) 
 Yes ? thanks. Then let me show human ingratitude. Here 
 (shows the dispatch), May's father discards me. Here [shoivs the 
 other dispatch), the Hon. Goose O. Hoo, has been nominated and 
 has ignored my labors. Such is life, is not it ? Eh ? Ah ? No ? 
 {All nod.) Yes ? Thanks. 
 
 Afay. But how about that horrid word snoozer, Captain ? 
 
 Max. A snoozer! That word's not old; 
 
 'T was I said it — wait 'tiil the story's told: 
 When you, miss, were napping, I came betime. 
 Though 'twas not bed-time, and sang my rhyme; 
 I've a faint remembrance of using, 
 If I'm not mistaken, that word snoozing. 
 
 May. Then it was not you, Taylor. Am I forgiven ! 
 
 "OH, LOVE ME." 
 
 AT ay. Oh love, oh love me, darling. 
 
 My heart was always thine. 
 I loved, I loved thee darling. 
 You always have been mine. 
 
 Chorus. Her heart, her heart is given 
 
 To Captain Montague. 
 
 May. . My heart and hand my darling 
 
 I only give to thee. 
 Oh love, oh love me, darling. 
 Love onl}^, only me. 
 
 Chorus. Her heart, her heart is given 
 
 To Captain Montague. 
 
 Captain. Can I believe what I do hear 
 
 You truly love me so 3'ou say. 
 Another prize I 'vc won to-day. 
 Come, embrace me, then my dear. 
 
 {Embrace}^ 
 Chorus. Her heart, her heart is given, etc. 
 
 Mile. Sergeant may I ask tlie same. 
 
 {They e/nl>rnie.)
 
 47 
 
 Milly. Thomas may I say the same. 
 
 [T/iey embrace.) 
 
 Saiiy. No matter what society may say, William may I say the 
 same ? 
 
 Biliy. I forget. {T/iey embrace.) 
 
 Colonel. That 's correct, and although cut dead by my former 
 friends (to audience) I hope I have your esteem. Eh? Ah? No? 
 Yes ? Thanks. 
 
 " FINALE." 
 
 Mile. My sweetheart is a gay Cadet, 
 
 A Cadet gay, a gay Cadet ; 
 His scars and wounds are few as yet, 
 For he's a gay Cadet. 
 
 He steps behind the band. 
 With sabre in his hand ; 
 
 His head erect. 
 
 You would suspect. 
 He'd fight all armies in the land; 
 
 He follows close the band, 
 
 With kid gloves on his hand ; 
 His eyes turned right, 
 His buttons bright, 
 
 And sabre in his hand. 
 
 I'm the colonel of this regiment, 
 
 And drill this troop ; 
 To any other soldiers never. 
 
 Never will we stoop. 
 The reason why we never 
 
 Did the world conquer ; 
 Because in any earnest fight, 
 
 We never, never were. 
 These gay Cadets in peace and war, 
 
 Our nation love, its fiag adore; 
 They're gallant boys with maidens fair, 
 
 They love, they love, with jealous care. 
 
 Max. Full of courage are we when 'tis peace, 
 
 For in war we always take our ease;
 
 48 
 
 Ever ready for a fight, 
 
 Or, if necessary, for a flight. 
 We are always in for sport, 
 Flirting, loving, singing is our forte: 
 And from the ladies never run. 
 
 Chorus. The U. S. A., 
 
 It is O. K., 
 
 It suits both me and you; 
 For Uncle Sam, 
 
 Don't care a , 
 
 If you pay your taxes P. D. Q. 
 
 [Curtain?) 
 
 [end third act.]
 
 GRAND, SQUARE AND UPRIGHT 
 
 PIANO FORTE 
 
 c 
 
 Her Majesty's Opera Company, of London, to WEBEI 
 
 New York, December 28, 187 
 
 A. Weber, Esq. — Dear Sir: The following artists of Her Majesty's (Ool 
 Maplesou's) Op rn Company, who have used only your, the Weber pianos 
 their private use during their stay in New York City, white tendering < 
 thanks for your kindness deem ir, their duty to say th tt for Pure and Si/tnpat 
 Richness of Tone, coupled with greatest power and singing quality, they kno 
 no piano which equals yours. Certainly for sustaining the voice already fori 
 or for the pu pose of calcivating it, the Weber Piano is suj^erior to any in.' 
 ment known to us. 
 
 ETELKA CtERSTEK-GARDINI, 
 CLAK'. CAMPOBELLO-SINICO, 
 
 CARMEN PIS ANI, 
 I TALO OAMPANINI, 
 ANTO I. CALASSI, 
 HENRY PYATT, 
 G. THIERRY, 
 
 EVIILTA PARODI, 
 F, LA BL AC HE, 
 F. FRAPOPLI, 
 FRANK DE RIALP, 
 GENNARO BISACCIA. 
 
 MARIE ROZE-MAPI -FSO 
 ENRICO CAMPOBELLO, 
 
 MARIE LIDO, 
 LUIGl ARDITI. 
 DELPUENTE, 
 F. FRANCESCE 
 
 ETELKA GEaSTER TO WEBER. 
 
 New York, Decemb -r 16, 1878. 
 CiiARENDON Hotel. 
 
 Dear Mr. WeBer. — Thanks for the Grand Piano you have sent me. I li 
 very much, and find it very excellent. I shall be happy to recommend 
 fine instruments on e^'ery occasion. ETELKA GERSTE 
 
 MARINE ROZE TO A WEBER. 
 
 Everett House, New York, December 31, 18' 
 
 Mr. Weber ^Dear Sir: I must thank you very much for sending me sn 
 maguificeot piano. I have frequently heard in Europe about the Wonde 
 Tone of Your Pianos, but must confess they Surpass my Expectation, 
 fully merit the great, reputation you have won for them MARIE ROZ 
 
 ITALO OAMPANINI TO WEBER. 
 
 138 E. Sixteenth Street, New York, December 29, 18' 
 
 My Dear Mr. Werer. — With sincere thanks for your kindness in suppj 
 me, during the season just expired, with the excellent instrument I now be 
 return. Allow me to say, in justice to the instrument and its maker both, 
 the Richness and Purity of J'one, The Capacity to Portray Feeling, if I 
 be allowed to exprei=s myself so, and the W^onderful Power of Expre 
 characte izing your Piano, render the s ime invaluable to an appreciativi 
 tist. Hoping to meet you on my return to the city, 
 
 I remiiin very truly yours, ITALO CAMPANII 
 
 FIFTH AVENUE, Corner 16th Street, NEW YORK. 
 
 t/Nn^,. 
 
 L.
 
 LIBRARY 
 
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