ZSTC 
 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES 
 
 FREDERIC THOMAS BLANCHARD 
 ENDOWMENT FUND

 
 P O E M S, 
 
 CONSISTING OF 
 
 TALES, FABLES, 
 
 EPIGRAMS, &c, &c. 
 By N O B O D Y. 
 
 ii ' -n 
 
 Procul ejlc Severi. 
 Keep your Dijlance, Fellows, and I'll talk with you. 
 
 L O N D O N: 
 
 Printed for MefT. Robinson and Roberts, in 
 Pater-nofter Row ; T. Davie's, in K ullel- 
 {heet, Covent-Garden j and T. Slack, in 
 Newcaittc. 
 
 MDCCLXX.
 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 HAVING been feme Months p aft cut of 
 Town, I called To-day at Mr Elzi- 
 vir'j, to know if my Poems were printed 
 off: Tie told me they were* and that he 
 now waited for the Dedication ; afking me 
 at the fame 'Time, who I defigned that 
 Honour y^r? " Dedication V fays I 
 " Why, fuppofe the Dedication was to 
 
 " run thus" " To Every Body, thofe 
 
 Luminaries of Learning, thofe Patrons of 
 Genius, thofe Candid Readers, thofe moji 
 
 Judiciout Critics, &c. &c. &c. the 
 
 Following Farrago is Dedicated by the 
 humblejl of their Admirers, Nobody." 
 
 i <l Oh, dear Sir," fays Elzivir, 
 
 "that will never do: The Quibble 
 " is ftale: You might as well dedi- 
 " cate it to your own Individual Self, 
 V (Nobody) as to Every Body: Befides, 
 a 2 " that 
 
 764416
 
 [ iv ] 
 
 " that Sneer upon Every Body wou'd Ctt 
 " Every Body a fneering at you ; Con- 
 ** fider, Sir, your very Name is a Bait for 
 Sarcajlical Quibbles But what think 
 f< you of thufing Paoli for your Patron : 
 N He's a glorious Subject for Panegy- 
 " ric, and his Name at the Beginning of 
 " your Book wou'd help the Sale greatly, 
 " efpecially if you were to have his Por- 
 '* trait by Way of Frontifpiece done by 
 " an Eminent Hand :" u Neither will 
 " that do," [aid I, " Had it been an 
 " Epic Poem indeed, and the Hero of 
 "it fuch another as himfelf, I don't 
 " know how far my Vanity might have 
 " fpurred me; but (hou'd I dedicate fuch 
 a Trifle like this to him, the World 
 " wou'd be apt to think I was bribed by 
 '" fome Great Man or other to throw an 
 if Affront on him." " I believe you are 
 ** ri^ht," replies Elzivir, " and now I 
 f( think again, I fear the poor Gentle- 
 c man (lands more in need to be Patro- 
 " nized than to Patronize : Suppofe 
 then," added he y " you dedicate it to 
 
 " the Reviewers. -" That," fays 1, 
 
 u wou'd
 
 4t wou'd be vaftly impolitic, for as I am 
 ?< a Stranger to them, and intend to re- 
 " main fo, a hundred to one but in Re- 
 ** turn for my Compliments they'd fall 
 ff foul of me, as a Proof of their lm- 
 t* partiality. No, no, hang it, I'll have no 
 " Dedication at all." " Vou muft have 
 ' a Preface, however," cries Elzivir : 
 ' That to me," Jays I, " feems as need- 
 " lefs as the other ; What can I fay in a 
 *' Preface? ~^-but that * The jollowing 
 
 * Poetns for Small Talk in Rhyme, if 
 
 * you phafe) were written at different 
 i Times ana upon different Occaftons, and 
 
 * not originally defigned for the Prefs : 
 
 * That they are now fen t into the World in 
 ' a loofe inconnefled Manner:" " (for by 
 * f the Bye, Matter Elzivir, you have beer* 
 ff rather earelefs in tfiat Refpect, as you 
 *' know that Part of the Affair was en- 
 M trufled to you)" " That Avocations of 
 " a different JSfature prevented the Au- 
 ' tbors giving them a Revijal, (too much 
 *' wanting, he fears J: That the Oleo, /uch 
 
 * as it is, is now offered to the Public with 
 ' a hearty Welcome ; and that Mr Cook 
 
 a 3 * begs
 
 [ vi ] 
 
 begs his Guejls wou'd fall to, and eai 
 heartily, or at k aft pick a Bit here and 
 there, as the Dijh is made up of various 
 Ingredients, and none of them over large, 
 or hard of Digeftion, he hopes:' " I can 
 
 * fay nothing bat fuch Stuff as this ; 
 1 ho, no, publifh it directly, and Jet the 
 
 * Brat take its Chance." " My dear 
 
 ' Sir," replied Elzivir, " a New Book 
 
 * without Preface or Dedication is as 
 ' imperfect as a New Play without a Pro- 
 
 * logue : How can you think of thruft- 
 ing yourfelf on the Public without a 
 
 1 By your Leave, or With your heave: 
 1 Or what wou'd you think, for Ex- 
 e ample, of a Stranger buHVing into our 
 ' Club-Room, and bating himfelf at the 
 Table without a Precurfor to announce 
 ' his Approach, or fbme one of the Club 
 to announce him?" I fill perjifted in 
 my Re/olutfons of No Preface, not know- 
 ing, in jhort, what to fay upon the Occa- 
 sion, when Mrs Eizivir, who, I mujl own, 
 has more Senfe than either her Good- Man 
 or my f elf, declared it her Opinion, That 
 a Preface would be- neceftary, fit only an- 
 
 fwered
 
 [ vii ] 
 
 fwered the Purpoje of adding three or four 
 Pages to the Book ; that it availed but 
 little what was /aid in it, and that if her 
 Advice might be taken, th: Dialogue that 
 hadjufi pajfid between Mr Elzivir and me 
 wou'd anfwer the Purpoje as well as any 
 Thing. 
 
 As I always pay an uncommon Deference 
 to Mrs Elzivir'j Opinion, I immediately 
 took her Advice, and have, as near as I 
 can recoileB, verbatim, and without any 
 additional Flourijhes, fcribbled down what 
 was faid upon the Occajion, which- the 
 Reader is entreated to look upon as a Pre- 
 face ; the common Intention of fuch Pre- 
 curfors (as my Letter d Friend terms 'em) 
 being generally to add a Something to- 
 the Size of the Book* 
 
 Jan, ii, 1770. 
 
 C O N-
 
 r *\
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Page. 
 
 TH E Poet and Straw, a Fable S 
 
 The Patriot Shepher.', a Fable $ 
 
 Meafure for Meafure, a 'Tali 4 
 
 The Female Claim, a Tale JO' 
 
 An Epijile to a Friend I f 
 
 Plnmb- Puddingy a Fable 21 
 
 To a Difcarded Favourite 2i 
 
 Fidelia 2$ 
 
 The Pedlar and Rajher of Bacon, a Tale 2 6 
 
 On Mrs B 'sfafe Delivery of a Daughter 2$ 
 
 The Robin's Complaint to Cloe, a Song 3 $ 
 
 The Peafant and Ma ft if, a Fable 36 
 
 Edward and Clara 38 
 
 Written on a blank Leaf of Sbakefpeart 4 1 
 
 The Tops 45 
 
 On our Modern Comedies 44 
 
 Mifs Nancy, a Fable 43; < 
 Oh a beautiful young Lady, remarkably vain, who died 
 
 of the Small-pox 47 
 On feeing a Law Book bound in uncoloured Calf, and 
 
 white Edges 48 
 
 Female Curvfity, a Tale 49 
 The Unfortunate DamfePs Rtfdution, an Old Song, 
 
 newly written 53 
 
 Tbt Fijherman, a Tale $ 
 
 The Confffors 57 
 
 The Swine and Ermine, a Fable 59 
 
 J/l.-xander the Great 60 
 A new Hymn by a Preacher of the Word, in Imitation of 
 
 the inimitable Moravian and Meihodiflical Hymns 6 1 
 
 The Two Kings, a Fable 6} 
 
 Epigrams 66 
 Henry and Sophy , .67 
 
 Amir.ttT
 
 [ * 1 
 
 Jmintor and Anna 7 
 
 An Encomium 76 
 
 St Catherine, a Fable . 79 
 
 The Puppet- Show, a Tale 8 I 
 
 A Refection 84 
 
 The Monk and Jew, a Tale 8 7 
 
 Agnes' Faft, a Song 89 
 
 Its Bear and Gardiner, a Fable 9 1 
 Liberty* Audrefs to her Britons, in Behalf of the Cor- 
 
 fcan<, 1768 94. 
 
 The Trans/o /nation, a Northern Tale 97 
 
 On hearing that Mrs of Theatre was dead 1 1 1 
 
 Oh hearing the above contradicted ib. 
 
 Frcm a young Saitor to the fame Lady 1 t 2 
 
 Wit and Riches ib. 
 
 The T-wo Paper Kites, a Fable I 1 3 
 Written on a Grave of a very beautiful Lady, ivhe died 
 
 of the Small-pox Il6 
 
 Thoughts on reading two Modern celebrated Novels 1 1 8 
 
 The Protefation 120 
 
 The Meek Hero I 2 1 
 
 The Devil Dif appointed, 1 746 I 2 2 
 
 The Patriots 1 26 
 
 Ch litres' s Apotheojis J 28 
 
 But, a Fable 1 29 
 
 The Twin Sifters I 3 2 
 
 The Mill, a Tale 1 34 
 
 The Critic and Bard, a Fable 1 37 
 
 On being ajked by Mifs to writ* a Riddle 1 39 
 
 The Spleen 141 
 
 Right hand and Left, a Fablt 142 
 
 A Song 1 46 
 
 The Two Candle:, a Fable 147 
 
 i&ayf and Flattery 1 5 O 
 
 ^<k 0/>;/<?r 151 
 Unite* in a Company where Detraction engrojjed the 
 
 Converfation 155 
 
 Tit
 
 [ ] 
 
 The Flock of Wild- Geefe , 4 
 
 The Wit's Progrefs \ej 
 
 ONE 160 
 
 The Whale and Tub, 1766 1 6 1 
 
 A Nojirum 1 63 
 
 The Different Mediums 1 64. 
 
 The Swimmers 1 67 
 
 In fefe volvitur Annus 169 
 
 Epigram 1 73 
 
 The Doves 1 7 4. 
 
 To A/r T ' <? m Marriage nviib a mofl 
 
 joyous Lady 1 76 
 
 ^ Epilogue 177 
 
 An Epilogue, fpoken by Mrs , <*/?*r flaying the 
 
 Char after of Lady Brute 1 79 
 
 Epitaphs 1 81, /<? 183 
 
 Epigrams 1 84, /o 194. 
 
 The Merciful 1 95 
 
 On feeing Mifs bathing in the Sea 1 96 
 
 ^ MA ib. 
 
 A P of oral 197 
 
 7"A? /* ^ ^^>, FflWl 205 
 
 7&? TV///.? Alliance 208 
 
 Mr D j Marriage luith Mifs E , 1 767 211 
 
 Delicacy 2 1 5 
 
 y^f Lamentation of a Moufe in a Trap 21 7 
 ./fo Epilogue, fpoken by Mrs P. in the Char after of Hy- 
 
 polita, in She Wou'd or Woiid not 22 2 
 
 An Epilogue, by Araminta in the Confederacy 225 
 
 The Contejl, a Pifon 2ij 
 
 To Cloe, begging a Reconciliation 232 
 
 On Mifs , fanning herfelf 233 
 
 To Mr W , on his Edition of Shahfpeare 234. 
 
 Phi His 235 
 
 On reading feme Eaflern Tales, lately publijhed 237 
 
 Tke Connoiffeur 238 
 
 ERR A-
 
 ERRATA. 
 
 Jagc $, after Line 8 infert the following' Couplet, which was 
 t omitted, 
 
 Met on the Downs in grave Debate, 
 
 A Patriot Shepherd to create: 
 P. 4,4- 14, Jor Power, read Pow'r. 
 P. 11, L. 9, fur being r. kindly. 
 Ditto, L. IS, for deflroyed r. deftroy'd. 
 Ditto,. L. 24, >. Which cut, .again woti'd never flioot. 
 -P. 15, L. 15, /or Sant Trifling, r. without it. 
 P. 4I1 L.Xl,/or Word, r. Line. 
 
 P. 45, L. 15, for Mamma well knows, r. Experience {Lows. 
 P. 46, *L. 6, for drank, r. drinks. 
 P. 50, L. 22, for under, r. beneath. 
 P. 63, let the third Line run thus, 
 
 Old Charon look'd confounded black. 
 P, 67, L. 11,/srWith Smiles they now appear, r, theyfmilfn* 
 
 now appear. 
 P. IOO, L 11, for gulph r. gWp. 
 P. 149, after the 4th Line add the following Couplet, 
 
 Whofe I ivts (their pained rieads tho'g>y) 
 
 Arc (horter than a Winter's Day. 
 P. 132, L. 12, for coward Tongue, r. Magpje Tongue. 
 P. 183, L.-8,/r Portals, r. Portal. 
 
 The Reader is intreated to correct the above, and to excufe 
 a few liteta' E<rorsan ' In accuracies, which have efcaped Uuo* 
 tb Author's unavoidable Diflance from the Prefs. -
 
 Original Poems, 
 
 . i ...i, . i i , i Mum 
 
 The POET and S T R A W. 
 A Fable. 
 
 *Hr^_j^"^N Richmond K\\\ with t)oublet bare 
 
 "^ q )*" A hungry Poet takes the Air : 
 
 J ^3HL The Air on Richmond Hill, tho' good, 
 
 ki* ~^-** And excellent Camelion Food, 
 
 Is rather of too thin a Nature 
 
 For a "beef- loving, two-legg'd Creature: 
 
 Our Poet flops, he looks around, 
 
 And murmurs thus in doleful Sound : 
 
 " While Plenty o^er the Landfcape reigns, 
 
 Shall Bards alone feel meagre Pains? 
 
 Ah, what avails, if in the Town 
 
 My Madrigals acquir'd Renown j 
 
 If btranger to all-pow'rful Coin 
 
 I feldom tafte the rich Sirloin ; 
 
 If for the Produce of my Brain, 
 
 I meet from money'd Fools Difdain ; 
 
 In vain the Lawrel crowns my Brows j 
 
 What crowns my Pocket ? Not one Soufe : 
 
 A " Of
 
 r * i 
 
 * c Of Ray or Lawrel, where the Ufe is ? 
 
 " Nor Bay or Lawrel Fruit produces : 
 
 " I've Fame purfu'd, and now I've caught her, 
 
 Ci She proves mere Moon-fhine in the Water j 
 
 " How happier the unlettered Glutton, 
 *' Who can indulge on Beef and Mutton : 
 " How curft each Servant of the Nine ! 
 *' I'd rather be a Fool and dine.'* 
 
 He faid, and to his great Surprize 
 
 Beneath his Feet a Straw replies : - 
 
 " Ah, haplefs Bard, look down and fee 
 ' Thy ftriking Emblem here in me ; 
 " Defpis'd by thofe, to whom my Head 
 
 ' Furnifh'd the StafF of Living Bread : 
 
 ' That gain'd, behold me here caft down, 
 
 ' Trod en by ev'ry fordid Clown : 
 
 < l Juft fo the Bard, who from his Brain 
 
 " The hungry Mind can entertain, 
 
 Is foon negle&ed and forgot, 
 
 A barren Praife his haplefs Lot ; 
 
 P To Fame becomes an empty Bubble, 
 
 * Trod on by Fools like Straw or Stubble.** 
 
 77;<
 
 f 3 J 
 
 The PATRIOT SHEPHERD. 
 A Fable. 
 
 IN Days of Yore, when Beads cou'rf fpeak 
 With the fame Eafe that Pigs now fqueak, 
 A Flock, of Sheep, highwool'd, rich, free, 
 Enthufiafts to Liberty, 
 Who claim'd a Right, Time immemorial, 
 Like other Sheep-boroughs corporeal, 
 To chufe a Shepherd to attend 'em, 
 And eke from Injuries defend 'em j 
 (The Sheep, in thofe Times, you're to note 
 Like Citizens cou'd give a Vote :) - 
 Among the Peafants who laid Claim, 
 To the Sheep-Guardian envied Name, 
 One Peafant far above the reft, 
 Was with the winning Virtues bleftj 
 For Liberty he bellow'd loud, 
 He tickled up the fheepifh Crowd ; 
 Like them he talk'd, and always ftrove 
 By fheepifh Tricks to fhew his Love : 
 The Lady Sheep he oft careft, 
 To pleafe the Ladies, laugh'd and dreft ; 
 
 He flatter'd hard, for Sheep, like Men, 
 
 Can fwallow Flatt'ry now and then ; 
 
 With them the Downs wOu'd often ftrole, 
 .Nibble the Grafs, and drink the Pool y 
 
 A 2 And
 
 [ + 3 
 
 And more, to {hew his gen'rous Mind, 
 His Gold was fcatter'd like the Wind j 
 He brib'd (o high, none dare oppofe ; 
 He foon was chaired, and Shepherd chofe. 
 
 Too true the Axiom we find, 
 Preferment warps the human M'ind\ 
 No longer now with Patriot Zeal 
 He ba'ad aloud for common Weal - y 
 No longer nibbled on the Hill, 
 Nor longer, Sheep-like, drank the Rill : 
 The Fifli was caught, the Net thrown by, 
 Wove by that Demon, Bribery : 
 He talk'd of nothing but Obedience, 
 Of Shepherd's Power, and Sheep's Allegiance j 
 He fleec'd 'em without Rhyme or Reafon, 
 Regardlefs of the Time or Seafon j 
 Drove them to Market, and there fold 
 His freeborn Sheep, for King-ftamp'd Gold ; 
 And when their Grievances they fpoke, 
 He anfwer'd thus with fneering Look : 
 
 " Thofe Fools who fell themfelves for Gain, 
 
 " Of Slav'ry never Ihou'd complain ; 
 
 " And give me Leave, good Sheep, to tell ye, 
 " I bought ye, and by G d I'll fell ye." 
 
 The Moral, Sir ? I'm not inclin'd, 
 
 To hold a Mirror to the Blind. 
 
 M E A-
 
 I 5 J 
 
 MEASURE for MEASURE. 
 A Tale. 
 
 WITH Envy fraught and Maledi&ion, 
 Fools rail againft Church Jurifdi&ionj, 
 They fay, where Canon Law prevails, 
 That Juftice never holds the Scales j 
 That in the civil Courts alone, 
 She and her genuine Train are known : 
 
 Falfhoods alike ! Where moft fhe's found, 
 
 The following Story may expound. 
 
 In old Caflile fome Ages fince,, 
 When fam'd Alphonfo rul'd as Prince^ 
 A holy Prieft, meek, chafte, and good,, 
 Happen d to fpill a Layman's Blood ; 
 Ev'n Saints themfelves,, in holy Writ, 
 Wou'd trifling Faults fometimes commit;. 
 No Rank the flaughter'd Fellow bore ; - 
 
 A Replile Shoemaker no more : 
 
 By fome malicious Folks 'twas faid 
 The Prieft had grac'd Crij'pino's Pi'cad j. 
 And, taken in the Fact,, had further, 
 To lewd Adultery added Murder ; 
 Abfurd! to think a Churchman cou'cT 
 In. fuch a Caufe fpill Chriflian Blood : 
 
 A 3 When
 
 [ 6 ] 
 
 When Priefts in thofe religious Times, 
 Were charg'd with any heinous Crimes, - 
 By Mother Church their Caufe was try'd; 
 Who elfe fhou'd Churchmen's Caufe decide I 
 And Juftice feated on Church-bench, 
 No doubt muft prove a fpotlefs Wench : 
 Thrice happy Age ! When Canon Law 
 Unrival'd, kept the World in Awe : 
 But now, alas, the Cafe is alter'd, 
 And Priefts by Civil Law are halter'd ; 
 Whence pious Churchmen now maintain 
 With Juftice " this is Satan's Reign/*' 
 
 By Virtue of Church Abfolution, 
 That wond'rous chymical Solution, 
 The Church has the excluiive Power, 
 Men's Souls from Sata/i's Ruft to fcower; 
 To free 'cm from corroding Sin, 
 And make 'em bright as new-made Pin :- 
 Shall thofe who by Cathedral Spell, 
 Can. ope the Gates of Hcav'n and Hell j. 
 A Power to Kings as much fuperior, 
 'As Earth to Heaven is inferior ; 
 Shall thofe to whom fuch Power's aflign'd, 
 No Defe ence from mere Mortals find ? 
 Pay Churchmen little Veneration, 
 You ftp the Church's beft: Foundation ; 
 
 And {hou'd the Church once tumble, Helf 
 
 With Joy wou'd ring the World's laft Knell. 
 
 Am-
 
 I 7 | 
 
 AmbafTadbrs, ev'n at this Hour 
 Defy the Law's inferior Power ; 
 Equally free to all Intent 
 With thofe great Kings they reprefentj. 
 And Priefts from holy Writings (hew 
 They're Heav'n's AmbafTadors below j 
 (To punifh any holy Prieft 
 Is breach of Privilege at leaft) 
 From whence this Inference they draw^ 
 Priefts are above the civil Law. 
 
 The holy Prieft as Culprit flood, 
 Charg'd with the (hedding Chriftian Blood ; 
 The Church fat Judge, and Proofs came thick* 
 Infpir'd no doubt by envious Nick; 
 The Prifoner guilty found ; and here, 
 Stop, Reader, and prepare the Tear; 
 That one in Rank fo highly plac'd,. 
 That one with holy Garments grac'd^ 
 Shou'd for a trifling Accident 
 Meet fo fevere a Punifhment : 
 But Mother Church has ftill been knowa 
 Rather too rigid to her own ; 
 A noble Leflbn to Mankind, 
 That Juftiee ever fhou'd be blind : - 
 The Culprit firft prefcrib'd Repentance, 
 The Court pronoune'd this dreadful Sentence. 
 
 * The
 
 r * ] 
 
 11 TheFad fo plainlyprov'd, theChurch decrees^ 
 <c To terrify her Sons from Crimes like thefe, 
 * c That from your holy Office as a Prieft, 
 ** You be fufpended one whole Year at leaft." 
 
 Juftice thus fatisfied, 'twas thought, 
 The Affair wou'd fhortly be forgot ; 
 But dire Revenge, eonceal'd with Art,. 
 Oft lurks within the Villain's Heart :. 
 Crifpino's Son, /or Mifchief rife, 
 Determines to have Life for Life : 
 Some Months perdu*, like favage Bead 
 (Vengeance ftill gnawing at his BreaftJ 
 
 He waits e'er Fortune brings his Prey 
 
 The harmlefs Prieft, within his Way ; 
 When thro' his Heart, with Strength convey'd^ 
 He drives the Dagger's murd'rous Blade ; 
 The Prieft expires ; the Murd'rer's feiz'J, 
 (Revenge thus got) to die well pleas'd. 
 
 Can Crimes like this unmark'd pafs by h 
 No angry Token from the Sky ? 
 No well-tim'd Earthquake to enclofe 
 
 (Churchmen all fav'd) the Church's Foes? 
 
 No Thunder to proclaim to Earth, 
 That Priefts are of celeftial Birth ? 
 But Heav'n-fent Miracles of late, 
 It feecjs are growing out of Date. 
 
 The 5
 
 [ 9 ) 
 
 Tho' Churchmen are in general tender, 
 They vow'd Ariel: Juftice on the Offender ; 
 To Court they fly, and quick demand 
 The Murd'rer yielded to their Hand ; 
 A Brother kili'd ! Oh, impious Deed ! 
 Ev'n Kings themfelves had better bleed j 
 They fix the Murd'rer's dreadful Doom, 
 Both here, and in the World to come. 
 
 His Majefty, quite cool and grave, 
 To their Demand this Anfwer gave. 
 
 " A Prieft a Layman kills : The Caufe 
 
 M Was try'd by holy Churchmen's Laws j 
 
 " A Lay-man kills a Prieft : This Time 
 
 c Our civil Law fhall judge the Crime/' 
 
 The Hour will come, do all you can, Sir, 
 Satan fhall trim you for this Anfwer : 
 
 " Oh, Becketf Dunjfan! Hildehrand! 
 " Ye Saints, whofe Names diftinguifh'd fland, 
 
 *'- Fth' holy Calendar look down 
 
 ** Avenge our Caufe For 'tis your own." 
 
 The Trial comes j The Murd'rer cafr, 
 
 The King, as Judge, this Sentence paft: 
 
 The
 
 r xo j 
 
 *' The Fact fo plainly prov'd, the Law decrees, 
 ** To terrify the World from Crimes like thefe, 
 " That for Year the Privilege you lofe, 
 " Of making, or of mending Boots and Shoes.'* 
 
 How juft, how fevere was the Church's Decree ! 
 How partial, how weak v/as the civil Law's Bann ! 
 Look back thro' Time's Annals ; in fliort, you 
 
 may fee, 
 It has ever been fo, fince the World began. 
 
 ^FEMALE CLAIM.* 
 J Tale. 
 
 E T Women their own ' Caufes plead", 
 'Tis ten to one but they fucceed. 
 
 For many Years with conq'ring Sword 
 Telahi the brave, Spoletto , & Lord, 
 His Valour 'gainft the Greeks had fhewn, 
 And fhook Emanuel on his Throne ; 
 Yet tho' with Foes he ftrew'd the Plain, 
 His Hydra Foes ftart up again : 
 Surpriz'd, he found the more he flew, 
 His Enemies more numerous grewj 
 
 In 
 
 * The Story on which this is founded, is taken from the 
 ingenious Author of The Effay on the Writings, &c. of Pop*.
 
 r T 
 
 In order to their Diminution, 
 He form'd the ftrangeft Resolution ; 
 Throughout his Camp he Orders gave, 
 That ev'ry Grecian Captive Slave, 
 Who for the future fliould be taken, 
 
 Shou'd without Mercy be Cajiraten 5 
 
 (A kind of Punifhment, ye Fair, 
 
 Poor Abelard was doom'd to bear) 
 
 And in that Order kindly fent 
 
 By Way of friendly Compliment, 
 
 To the Greek Emp'ror, in whofe Grace, 
 
 Cajtratos held the foremoft Place ; 
 
 For in his Court, as in our Nation, 
 
 Mufic was all the Hobby-Fafhion : 
 
 One Pipe deftroy'd, it was intended, 
 
 The other thereby ihould be mended : 
 
 For all your Naturalifts own, 
 
 That when the Bee becomes a Drone, 
 
 Tho', ftinglefs, he can work no more, 
 
 He humms far fweeter than before : 
 
 This Tebald boafted in his Mirth, 
 
 Was killing Foes before their Birth : 
 
 The Axe applying to a Root, 
 
 Which, if once cut, wou'd never flioot : 
 
 *' Oxen were harmlefs Beafts, he fwore, 
 
 * c But Bulls enrag'd wou'd tofs and gore^ 
 
 * c And Greeks when of the neutral Kind, 
 
 * No Hydra Foes cou'd leave behind ; 
 
 " Nor
 
 [ 12 J 
 
 * Nor with that holy Text comply, 
 " Which bids Encreafe and multiply* 
 
 Affairs for fome Time thus went on, 
 And many a Captive was undone ; 
 When one Day (Tebald in his Tent, 
 Among his Lords in Merriment) 
 A Grecian Dame, whofe lufty Mate 
 Had by the cruel Hand of Fate, 
 Been Captive made, and bid prepare 
 
 To lofe what Madam cou'd not /pare, 
 
 Into the General's Prefence broke, 
 And kneeling, thus the Prince befpoke : 
 
 is TetaleTs Glory funk fo far, 
 " Againft weak Woman to make War ? 
 ** And fhall that Sword, which in the Field, 
 " Has ever made his Rivals yield, 
 " Which not by Man can be withftood, 
 " Be poorly fcriirfd with Woman's Blood ? 
 " Heroes, and Tebald fure is one, 
 " To us have ftill Protedion fhewn : 
 " A Cock counts all his Brethren Foes, 
 But among Hens he peaceful crows ; 
 Tho' Bull gores Bull, yet ftill he fcorns 
 ' To plunge within the Cow his Horns' 
 < Have Mercy then, moft potent Lord, 
 Nor with our Blood debafe your Sword." 
 
 The
 
 t 13 ] 
 
 The Prince, amaz'd, accofts the Dame 
 Why brancfft thou undeferv'd my Name? 
 " When was it ever known, he faid, 
 44 That Female Blood by me was fhed ? 
 Or fmce the Amazonian Race, 
 44 (Of your foft Sex the foul Difgrace) 
 44 Can it with Juftice be averr'd, 
 That War with Woman was declar'd ?" 
 
 44 What War more cruel, cries the Fair, 
 44 Can Tebald 'gainfl: our Sex declare ? 
 44 You rob our Mates of what kind Heaven 
 " Has for our Health and Pleafure given ; 
 " The joyous Fountain, from whofe Source, 
 44 Pleafure pours with refifllefs Force : 
 44 It gives us in our Children, Wealth ; 
 44 Your Lady knows it caufes Health : 
 44 To that, my Lord, each wedded Dame 
 44 Pleads an exclufive, lawful Claim ; 
 44 And mutilating Nature's Stem, 
 4 Is mutilating Us, not Them : 
 46 For Goods and Cattle I ne'er griev'd, 
 44 Cattle and Goods may be retriev'd ; 
 44 But Woman, once that Comfort gone, 
 44 Is irretrievably undone : 
 44 Fo! Mercy then let Truth implore, 
 44 Nor lay our Murders at your Door." 
 
 B The
 
 [ 14 J 
 
 The admiring Chiefs with loud Applaufe, 
 Back her Requeft, and plead her Caufe ; 
 E\'n TebaM's Princefs, with each Look 
 A feeling Approbation fpoke ; 
 For {hou'd the Chance of War, {he thinks, 
 (And at the Thought {he inward fhrinks) 
 Throw Tebald in the Captive's Place, 
 Alas ! how frightful her own Cafe I . 
 
 Your Pray'r, quo' Tebald, {hou'd I grant, 
 *' With All and every Thing you want ; 
 " If on the hoftile bloody Plain, 
 Once more your Hufband wear my Chain, 
 ** Say Woman, what are you content, 
 * Shou'd be the Ingrate's Punifhment ?" - 
 
 " My Lord, the honeft Dame replies, 
 
 * My Hufband has Legs, Arms, and Eyes j 
 
 * Thefe are his own ; and if once more 
 xt Ungrateful, he {hou'd force your Power, 
 ** They're yours, in Right of Victory; 
 *' Take them, my Lord, but rob not me.** 
 
 Tebald convine'd, admits her Prayer, 
 No Jonger mutilates the Fair-, 
 The army with a loud Acclaim, 
 Hail the plain-fpoken honeft Dame : 
 The Chiefs with Prefents large reward her, 
 And thro' the Camp in Safety guard her : 
 
 Which
 
 r s j 
 
 Which done ; with her beloved Spoufe, 
 She Arm in Arm jogs to her Houfe; 
 Not quite recover'd of her Fright, 
 Till well convinced) tht All was Right. 
 
 An EPISTLE to a FRIEND. 
 On Trifling. 
 
 FOR Want, Good Sir, of Something better,. 
 I fend you here a Trifling Letter. 
 
 The Man who's fo amazing wife, 
 A little Trifling to defpife, 
 Tho' for a Solomon he pafs, 
 Is Trifle better than an Afs, 
 That on dry prickly Thirties mumbles,. 
 And cheerlefs ever, brays and grumbles: 
 Sans Trifling, Life were a poor Feaft, 
 Where Man would fit a Humdrum Gueft, 
 But Trifling, mirthful, full of Glee, 
 With Health, to bear her Company, 
 Enters; at once difpels our Gloom, 
 And kicks Spleen headlong from the Room* 
 
 Trifling to Wifdom's near ally'd, 
 Altho' by Pedants 'tis deny'd j 
 And in Truth's Maxims 'tis a Rule y 
 The graver, ftill the greater Fool: 
 
 B 2 Like
 
 [ 16 ] 
 
 Like Mailer Stephen* Sons of Folly 
 Are greatly givn to Melancholy. 
 And wife Men oft thro' Trifling's Road 
 Arrive at Wifdom's fnug Abode: 
 Aided by that, we Truths difcern, 
 And Mankind's inmoft Pailions learn. 
 
 Cromwell altho' he was no Fool, 
 Wou'd often romp like Boy at School ; 
 And Prujjids King fometimes defcends, 
 And blind man-buffs it 'mong his Friends i 
 On Gravity when Monarchs trample, 
 Courtiers will follow their Example; 
 No longer then their Thoughts they flifle, 
 Men's iouls are honeft when they trifle; 
 Hypociify afide is thrown, 
 Aiid for a Time Truth takes the Throne. 
 
 Scipio the Wife, in Days of Yore, 
 Oft trifled on Crimea's Shore; 
 With Lelius laugh'd, indulg'd his Freaks, . 
 And play'd (Boy-like) at Ducks and Drakes: 
 And Julius Ccefar^ as we read, 
 Was a true Buck of the flrft Head; 
 And Bucks, I'm fure, muft be allow'd 
 To van it in the Trifling Crowd. 
 
 Ev'n 
 
 * A Chara&er in Evtry Man in his Humour,
 
 t 17 I 
 
 Ev'n Solomon, the Man moft wife, 
 That ever breath'd beneath the Skies, 
 Had long thro' Pleafure's Magic rov'd, 
 And all the Joys of Trifling prov'd: 
 When he had got his Quantum fuff. 
 Or rather more than was enough, 
 He wifely faid " That Life, alas ! 
 "Was Vanitatum Vanitas :" 
 But when he conquer'd mawky Spleen, 
 He wifely trifled on again j 
 And in old Age, as Records fhew, 
 He kept a large Seraglio; 
 And all the Pleafures he found there, 
 Were Trifling, we may fafely fwear. 
 
 May I aver, without Offence, 
 Trifling's a Thing of Confequence? 
 
 Poets and grave Logicians own, 
 That all the World to Trifling'6 prone; 
 We fee what Crouds difpute and jar 
 On Politics, on Peace and War; 
 Or give a pofitive Decifion 
 On Patagonians, or Religion; 
 On Inward Grace, or Cock-lane Ghoft, 
 On Nabobs, or fome favourite Toaft; 
 On Op'ras, or on Matter's Effence, 
 On Farces, or the Soul's Quinteffence;, 
 
 B 3 On
 
 [ i8 ] 
 
 On Chatham, Bute, or Patriot Wilkes* 
 On Cookery or Price of Silks; 
 On Faith, that Anchor of Salvation,. 
 Or fuch like Trifling Difputation; 
 What are they all but Trifling Jokes.! 1 
 (At leaft made fo by Trifling Folks) 
 And yet thofe Trifles give Enjoyment, 
 By finding Trifling Minds Employment. 
 
 Your Graduates of Grejham College, 
 Maugre their Gravity and Knowledge, 
 Have lately to the World approv'd, 
 How very much they Trifling lov'dj 
 For Trifles they can fcold and prate, 
 And fight like Wives at Billinfgate. : 
 Such Trifling we'd excufe but when 
 They raife the death-denouncing Pen, 
 Pluck'd from the boding Raven's Wing, 
 It then becomes a ferious Thing; 
 " In pops grim Death, th' arrefting Serjeant, 
 ' With Sir, your moji obedient Servant," 
 
 Ev'n at St Stephens fome Folk fay, 
 That Trifling bears a mighty Sway; 
 And yet I doubt the Truth, for who 
 A Trifling Member ever knew? 
 
 Love by Experience we find, 
 Chief Source of Pleafure to Mankind; 
 
 And
 
 [ 19 1 
 
 And Lovers' Actions always prove, 
 Trifling's the very Soul of Love. 
 
 Women are call'd in Ridicule, 
 The Trifling Sex by every Fool: 
 But Fools deftroy their Spleen's Intent, 
 By paying them a Compliment: 
 What gains our Wonder and our Praife ? 
 Their thoufand pretty trifling Ways: 
 By Trifling only they maintain 
 Their Empire, and defpotic reign : 
 And Female Wit, which fo furprizes, 
 From Trifling evermore arifes- 
 
 But of all Triflers under Heaven, 
 Rhymefters are moll to Trifling given ; 
 They fpin in Trifles their poor Brains, 
 And get but Trifles for their Painsj 
 And what particularly fliews 'em 
 Coxcombs, to every Soul that knows them, 
 Is, That they boaft with Fronts of Brafc, 
 Favours from Mifles of Parnajf. 
 When ev'ry living Mortal knows, 
 Each Mufe is ftill an unpluck'd. Rofe. 
 
 Rhymefters howe'er, may boaft their Ufe; 
 The Trifling Nothings they produce, 
 Serve Triflers on a rainy Day, 
 To while an idle Hour away. 
 
 Thefe
 
 [ 20 ] 
 
 Thefe few, in ftiort r may ferve as Samples* 
 Among ten thoufand like Examples, 
 That Trifling is a real Ingredient, 
 And to our Happinefs expedient. 
 
 But after all, Good Sir, I deem, 
 We fhould not ufe it in Extreme: 
 Thinking and Trifling help each other,. 
 As Friend helps Friend, or Brother Brother: 
 Ev'n as the human Body tires, 
 And Sleep's recruiting Balm requires, 
 Trifling the fame Effect produces, 
 And fits the Soul for nobleft Ufes: 
 In this the trueft Wifdom lies, 
 Still to be Merry and be Wife.. 
 
 Excufe, my Patron and my Friend, 
 Thofe trifling Cramboes which I fend ; 
 You're tir'd of Trifling by this Time, 
 And fo I'll end my Trifling Rhyme. 
 
 With Love to Friends, I'm your moft Fervent, 
 Obedient, Trifling, Humble Servant. 
 
 May Tour The Day extremely fine ; 
 Seventeen Hundred, Sixty Nine. 
 
 PLUMB.
 
 [ 21 ] 
 
 PLUMB-PUDDING. 
 
 A Fable. 
 
 TW O Boys at Chriftmas Dinner plac'd, 
 The Board a large Plumb-Pudding grac'dj 
 Their Plates well heap'd they glad furvey, 
 But each indulg'd a different Way : 
 Jack y who was greedy of the Plumbs, 
 Firft pick'd them out, then lick'd his Thumbs; 
 He eat, and faid '* 'Twos fpecial Good:" 
 His Plumbs devour'd The Remnant Food 
 Quite plain, now prov'd a worthlefs Store; 
 He tailed, but cou'd eat no more; 
 The Sweets had fpoil'd his Relifh quite. 
 Pudding unplumb'd gives no Delight; 
 And to acquire more Plumbs unable, 
 Hungry, he crying left the Table. 
 
 With much more Caution Dick proceeds, 
 And on the plumblefs Portion feeds; 
 His Feaft determin'd to conclude 
 With Plumbs, that rich, delicious Food; 
 But when the Plain was fwallow'd, Dick 
 Had eat fo much, he was quite fickj 
 His Appetite, alas, was flown, 
 And ev'n for Plumbs his Reliih gone: 
 
 Like
 
 [ f* 1 
 
 "Like Tantalus he view'd his Store, 
 And cry'd, for he cou'd hold no more; 
 And what he'd fav'd with mifer Care, 
 
 .A better Appetite muft heir. 
 
 He who his Plumbs unmix'd deftroys, 
 Will foon regret his fhort-liv'd Joys; 
 
 "While He who keeps 'em for the laft, 
 Too late will mourn a blunted Tafte : 
 Then let us take the Plain with Sweet, 
 
 .And like good Boys our Pudding eat, 
 Juft as 'tis cut us from above, 
 
 -Nor Prodigals or Mifers prove. 
 
 3coeooceoGoooaowoooooiec9GoaQiGic 
 
 To a Difcarded Favourite. 
 
 PLUTT'RING within a funny Ray, 
 A fhining Mote was heard to fay, 
 *< hi Me what Glories are difplay'd! 
 For Me the Sun and Stars were made: 
 
 For Me" The Sun his Beams withdrew, 
 
 The Mote was loftand fo are You. 
 
 FIDE-
 
 r 23 j 
 
 FIDELIA, 
 
 TH E rolling Year, again brought on the Day, 
 That fnatch'd from Lucius half his Soul awayj 
 That Day on which he mournful Vigils kept, 
 And o'er Fidelia's Tomb in Anguifh wept; 
 Fidelia gone ! Life is to him no more, 
 Than a lone Walk upon a dreary Shore. 
 
 Deep Silence reign'd, the Midnight Hour was paft, 
 And Darknefs o'er the Globe her Veil had caft ; 
 
 In vain the peaceful Bed invites to Reft, 
 
 No Room for Peace in woe-fraught Lucius' Breaft: 
 Sigh follows Sigh, and Groan refponfes Groan, 
 Nor wonder, fince from Earth Fidelia's flown ; 
 When fudden, quick as Light'ning, to his Sight 
 (Darknefs dilpeil'd) a Vifion heavenly bright 
 Stood at his Feet; the fmiling Form he knew, 
 And all Fidelia brightens to his View; 
 His Pulfes flutt'ring beat, he wru'd have fpoke, 
 But wild Amaze his half-form'd Accents choak; 
 When thus, in Sounds which long had blefs'd his Ear, 
 The Vifion ftrives her Lucius Breaft to cheer. 
 
 " Can Sight of me, the lovely Phantom faid, 
 ** (And fmiling fpoke) in Lucius raife a Dread?* 
 ** With Smiles mv Lucius erft was wont to greet, 
 And his Fidelia Rill with Raptures meet j 
 
 " In
 
 [ *4 ] 
 
 " In me the fame Fidelia you view, 
 
 " As loving, kind, as friendly, and as true. 
 
 " That Hour, that long wifh'd Hour, which 
 kindly gave, 
 " My Soul to Heaven, my Body to the Grave ; 
 To hear the Groans that rent your throbbing 
 
 Breaft, 
 " While in your Arms mypulfelefs Corps youpreft; 
 While fix'd on me alone you groan'd Defpair, 
 " My pitying Soul ftill hover'd in the Air, 
 Almoft reluctant flew to Joys above, 
 " For Lucius fliar'd with Heaven Fidelia's Love. 
 
 " Your Sighs, your Pray'rs, by me convey'd to 
 Heav'n, 
 " Once more to Earth Fidelia have given j 
 " The heavenly Balm of lenient Hope to pour, 
 " And Peace, long baniih'd, to your Soul reftore: 
 
 " Did Mortals know their Maker, they'd revere 
 " And glow with grateful Love, devoid of Fear j 
 tl How merciful ! How loving to Mankind ! 
 " TheirGod! Creator 1 Parent and theirFriend ! 
 " No Bug-bear Tyrant thirfting after Blood, 
 " But a kind Father, merciful and good. 
 
 " How then can Man ungratefully prefume 
 * To paint th' Almighty with a Demon's Gloom? 
 " How can he impioufly a Tyrant call, 
 " That God who into Being fmil'd us all. 
 
 " How
 
 C *s 1 
 
 c< How with a jaundic'd Eye to Heaven impart, 
 " A cheerlefs Piilure from a cheerlefs Heart ? 
 t( Or with mean felfifh Views the World deceive, 
 " Or force with Threats their Vot'ries to believe* 
 
 " When Death my Lucius from his Chains fhall 
 free, 
 " And give him to immortal Joys and me ; 
 (Oh, let not Death my Lucius affright, 
 " Death is our Angel-Guide to Realms of Light) 
 " With Love Seraphic fhall Fidelia tend, 
 *' And lead to Raptures which fhall never end j 
 Xi Thro' Fields of Ether infinite to rove ; 
 " New Scenes of ever-varying Blifs to prove : 
 ** But what thofe Joys, or from what Fountains flow, 
 *< Muft ne'er, fo Heav'n ordains, tranfpire below ; 
 " If known, Mortals wou'dburfttheirChainsofClay, 
 ** And rufh, unbidden, to the Realms of Day. 
 
 tc Let Lucius then with Refignation wait, 
 " Till Death to Joys immortal fhall tranflate; 
 " And when Heav'n calls to a celeftial Birth, 
 " And bids releafe from Cares, from Pain and Earth, 
 * c Boldly launch forth : Fear nothing ; hope the heft; 
 
 " By me Heav'n thus commands, 'Hope, and be 
 
 bk(i:' 
 
 She fmil'djfhewav'd her Hand, and fuddenNight, 
 Conceal'd the lovely Image from his Sight : 
 Her Words to Peace his anxious Soul reftor'd, 
 And,kneeling,Heav'nwithGratitudeheftraitador'd. 
 C The
 
 [ 26 J 
 
 The PE D LA Rand RASHER*/ BACON. 
 A Tale. 
 
 " WT HAT on a F " ft " Day ' thou vi,eG,utton ! 
 
 V V Thou Infidel ! To feaft on Mutton ! 
 " Nothing can fave you from the Birch, 
 " But OfPrings made to Mother Church; 
 " Elfe holy Candle, Book and Bell, 
 
 ' Shall fign your Mittimus to Hell." 
 
 Thus having threaten'd poor Lay Sinner, 
 Sir Prieft fits down to a Flefh Dinner ; 
 And after fhipping his own Cargo, 
 On others Guts lays Uriel Embargo. 
 
 A Pedlar hungry, tir'd, and cold, 
 Who many a Mile that Day had ftroll'd, 
 Came to a Peafant's friendly Hut, 
 Where he had often ftufFd his Gut;- 
 
 <; How fare you, Pedlar? Faith, fo, fo; 
 
 " I'm tir'd and hungry, you muft know: 
 *' Some good fat Collops I cou'd eatj" 
 * c Sure, quo' the Peafant, you forget: 
 *' The Holy Church enjoins, to Day 
 <c That we muft faft, confefs and pray ;" 
 (You're to obferve the Scene was Spain, 
 Where Priefts and Saints defpotic reign) 
 " Two or three Onions are the Tote 
 " That journey'd this Day down my Throat ; 
 
 " Nor
 
 r 27 j 
 
 " Nor have I now one Morfel ]eft t 
 " Of every Eatable bereft, 
 But this fame Bacon Flitch, and fuch 
 " No Catholic wou'd dare to touch :" 
 The Pedlar caft a longing Eve, 
 
 He begg'd he fwore mod bitterly, 
 
 *' A favoury Rafher on the Coal, 
 
 ** Was what he long'd for from his Soul ; 
 
 ' That Windows fhut, and Doors well barr'd 
 
 " 'Gainft Priefts and Saints wou'd fnugly guard ; 
 
 " And after all, if he was caught, 
 
 " An Abfolution might be bought." 
 
 The tim'rous Peafant long deny'd, 
 At length thro' Pity he comply'd ; 
 And having from the Pork-fide taken 
 A good large Sliver of fat Bacon, 
 *' 1 wafh my Hands of all, he cries, 
 " At your own Door the Trefpafs lies ; 
 c But if our Prieft fliou'd find you out, 
 " By th' Mafs he'll make a woundy Rout j 
 
 " Such Pennance he'll inflict you'll wiih 
 
 ** Your Bacon Slice had been a Fifh." 
 
 The Pedlar had his Rafher drefs'd, 
 ..His Looks a joyous Heart exprefti'd ; 
 And to his Mou;h without delaying, 
 The favoury Morfel quick conveying, 
 Juft at the Inftant, a loud Clap 
 
 Of Thunder Lord have Mercy ! flap 
 
 C 2 Came
 
 F 28 j 
 
 Came like a bold intruding Gueft, 
 To interrupt him in bis Feaft : 
 The Pedlar judging, that no doubt, 
 The Raflier caus'd this fearful Rout, 
 And that the Saints, with half an Eye 
 Had feen him fmuggling from their Sky; 
 The Morfel, Caufe "of all this Din, 
 Which Mouth had open'd to take in, 
 
 He drops amaz'd : And with a Look, 
 
 Which Grief and Rage, and Hunger fpoke; 
 And dafhing down both Meat and Platter, 
 
 He cries " Zoons, here's a Noife and Clatter 
 
 " About a footy Bacon Slice ; 
 
 * c You Saints above are dev'lifh nice : 
 
 " There, now I hope you'll be quite eafy, 
 
 " The Devil's in't, if this won't pleafe ye ; 
 
 " Tho' by the Bye 'tis plaguy hard ; 
 
 " You wou'd not like yourfelves to be thus ferv'd,' 
 
 (Tune, Chevy-Chafe.) 
 
 Let Chrijlians hence on Fajl Days learn y 
 
 Their Hunger's Tide to Jiem ; 
 For Saints, Jly Rogues ! can us difcern 
 
 When we fee nought of them*
 
 C *9 3 
 
 On Mrs B V fafe Delivery of a Daughter, 
 
 1766. 
 
 AS fove on high Olymp. was quaffing 
 Nectar, and' 'mong his Godlings laughing,; 
 (For Gods and Godlings now and then 
 Can laugh and drink as well as Men) 
 
 Petitions 'gainft the Trap- Door thump* 
 
 As if from Cannon fhot, came -plump ; 
 
 And with fuch Force,, that Jove amaz'd. 
 Order'd the Trap-Door to be rais'd :* 
 
 Which done ; without the leaft Decorum, 
 
 Prayers joftling Prayers, burft in before 'em ; 
 
 And with fuch Noife, Jove 'g an to flare, 
 
 And thought all Billinfgate was there ; 
 For Mortals, in their Prayers, 'tis faid,. 
 Are often ftrangely underbred, 
 Nor to the Gods that Rev'rence (hew, 
 That's due from clay -built. Folks below. - 
 Some pray'd for Fame, and fome for Health, 
 
 Some for a Wench lome pray'd for Wealth ; 
 
 Thro' Fear of Hell fome Wretches pray'd, 
 
 Some pray'd for Praying was their Trade; 
 
 For Wives fome pray'd- but well-a-day ! 
 
 More pray'd to take their Wives away ; 
 
 C 3 Some 
 
 * See the Story of Menlppus in the Spectator, No. 391. Iu. 
 
 irfiich, Prayers are faid to enter Heaven thro' a Trap-Doot, 
 occasionally opened and fliut as Jupiter happtn* to be in the? 
 Humour,
 
 it 
 
 [ 30 ] 
 
 Some pray'd for this, and fome for that, 
 And many for ^ they knew not what : 
 But what ftruck 'Jove more than the reft, 
 Were fome fhort Pray'rs fo warmly preft, 
 They fpnke the Suppliants quite fince e, 
 Which made Jove kindly Ifnd an Ear; 
 For Jove (fly Rogue !) knows from the Tongue 
 Or from the Heart, if Pray'rs are fprung. 
 
 " Great Jove* the Suppliants loud exclaim, 
 Kindly affift the pregnant Dame, 
 *' Guard Eellamira from Difiifter, 
 ** And fafely guide or Mifs or Mafter : 
 *' No common Caufe demands our Prayer, 
 " In Bellamira thoufands fpare. 
 
 This and much more his Godfhip heard, 
 From many Suppliants preferr'd ; 
 But none more clam'rous feem'd than one, 
 An odd droll looking Simpleton, 
 Who Jove in blundering Terms add reft ; 
 
 He own'd This was his firft Requeft, 
 
 And fwore, if Jove wou'd kindly lave her, 
 He ne'er wou'd afk another Favour. 
 Jove fmil'd, and cafting down an Eye, 
 Snub on his Marrow-Bones did fpy ; 
 Which plain as Sun at Noon- .> ay, fpoke 
 The Affair to Suub had been no Joke. 
 
 But
 
 C 31 ] 
 
 But what Jove thought was moft obfervint, 
 Ev'n her own Spoufe in Pray'r was fervent} 
 For Hufbands feHom -now a Day, 
 For their Wives Prefervation pray ; 
 He long to Peace had been a Stranger, 
 Jovlefs, his deareft Bell, in Danger j 
 And wou'd have faciific'd his Life, 
 TJnfafhion'd Thing ! 10 fave his Wife. 
 Jove fmil'd, and thought it fomewhat ftrange, 
 (For Jove himfelf is giv'n to Change) 
 That Mortals fhou'd the Gods excel, 
 And from their Betters bear the Bell} 
 For be it fpoken to Jove's Shame, 
 Nor he, nor any of his Name, 
 To Dinmovo Flitch cou'd e'er lay Claim* 
 
 To Conftancy a perfect Stranger, 
 Jove in his Heart's an errant Ranger $ 
 In fnug Difguife he often quits 
 Olymp. to feaft on Mortal Bits ; 
 And Flefh. and Blood prefers by th* Bye 
 To all the Beauties of the Sky ; 
 For which Dame Juno fcolds and hectors, 
 And pays him off with Curtain Lectures. 
 
 Yet Joue himfelf, tho* Buck compleat, 
 As e'er frequented Rujfel-Jlreet^ 
 To Mortals has forbad fuch Jokes, 
 And threatens all your naughty Folks,
 
 C 3* J 
 
 If they'll not mend and fay their PrayVs, 
 Old Nick mail carry 'em down Stairs 
 Hard Cafe! that Jove (hou'd Laws ordain, 
 Which Jove himfelf treats with Difdain : 
 But Laws were made t rule the Throng, 
 Your Gods and Kings are never wrong. 
 
 ** My Friends, quo* Jove, ftroaking his Face,. 
 '* In Troth this is no common Cafe ; 
 *S Thoufands, you fee, in fad Contrition, 
 tc For yon go.>d Wife i'th* Straw petition ; 
 *' And rivet Voce all aver, 
 Their Happinefs depends on her: 
 j The Knocker ty'd, the Straw thick fpread, 
 The Nurfes hobbling round the Bed j 
 " The throbbing Bread", the tearful Eye, 
 ' Speak grim-fae'd Danger to be nigh : 
 
 * Then fly this Inftant ; downward fpeed, 
 
 " To aid her, in this Hour of Need j 
 
 "In B 's Shape, Lucina y fhew 
 
 " All that Ubjietric Art can do : 
 
 M You, Pheebus, quick to Hull repair,. 
 
 " Aflume your Brother C 's Air^ 
 
 *' And Med'cine s utmoft Skill impart, 
 " To footh her Pains, and cheer her Heart : 
 < And,. Pallas, fee your friendly Aid 
 u In E 's lovely Form convey'd, 
 4< That fav'rite Form you oft have wore, 
 *' To charm the Woiid with Wifdom's Lore ; 
 
 la.
 
 [ 33 J 
 
 ** In fweet Difcourfe your Med'cine pourM, 
 
 44 Will foften what muji be endur'd : 
 
 " While I, her lov'd Lord's tender Breaft, 
 M With Hope's fweet Balm will calm to Reft. 
 
 c< And now, hear Fate hear Dejiiny ; 
 
 ** By Styx I fwear : 'Tis Jove's Decree y 
 
 * Soon {hall a Cherub fee the Light, 
 
 44 As Venus from the Ocean bright ; 
 
 " And with a wonder-working Smile, 
 
 c * Her fondling Mother's Pangs beguile : 
 
 44 Her Welfare fhall be Heav'n's own Care, 
 
 *' As Father wife, as Mother fair ; 
 
 44 Like both in one, replete with Spirit, 
 
 " Good -nature, Wit in fhort, all Merit. 
 
 44 The Parents' Virtues to requite, 
 * Wing'd be their Days with true Delight; 
 44 Health fhall her choiceft Bleffings fhed, 
 44 The Loves fhall crown their genial Bed ; 
 44 Fortune with Smiles fhall ftill befriend 'em, 
 44 And Heaven's beft Gift Content attend 'era j 
 44 Bleffmg and bleft, they long fhall ihew 
 44 Example to Mankind below, 
 44 That Happinefs is Virtue's Prize, 
 44 And, to be good^ is to be wife. 
 
 44 And when Death fummons, as all mufr, 
 * 4 From whence they came, return to Duit, 
 
 44 One
 
 r 34 i 
 
 One /Ingle Grave, one friendly Mold 
 JlnUn .on (hall their Clay enfol d ; ' 
 And Air ? r C ftalJ fti,] un ''te, 
 
 On Earth their Virtues tooVuWivf 
 And m their lovely Offspring live." 
 
 >t* fpoke and awful gave the Nod, 
 While Fate fubmiifiye own'd the God. 
 
 
 ?%9
 
 C 35 ] 
 
 The ROBIN'j Complaint to CLOE. 
 
 A Song. 
 
 m TT7ITHIN a wiry Prifon bent, 
 " VV Far from my conftant Mate, 
 ' O think, with Pity think, dear Maid, 
 
 '* How wretched is my Fate : 
 '* Of me depriv'd, perhaps ev'n now, 
 
 " For Grief (he yields her Breath; 
 " And Oh!-r--I feel, depriv'd of her, 
 
 " I foon fhall bow to Death. 
 
 c * If in a Nunnery's gloomy Walls 
 
 " From Lovers' Joys debarr'd, 
 '* Like me coop'd up indeed you'd think, 
 
 ** Your fate was wond'rous hard : 
 *' Then as you wifh yourfelf to tafle 
 
 " Love's Joys, and Lioerty; 
 " Have Mercy on your little Bird, 
 
 " And kindly fet me free." 
 
 Thus in a narrow Cage confln'd, 
 
 A Robin fweetly grieves j 
 Cloe relents; and to her Bird 
 
 Immediate Freedom gives : 
 The God of Love rewards the Fair, 
 
 He fires her fav'rite Swain ; 
 He gives her all Love's Blifs to know, 
 
 Free ' from Love's bitter Pain. 
 
 Tht
 
 C 36 3 
 
 The PEASANT ^MASTIFF. 
 A Fable. 
 
 WHERE Nik, the King of Floods, 
 beftows 
 His genial Bleffings as he flows, 
 A widow'd Peafant, that with Care 
 Fofter'd a darling Infant Heir, 
 The only Offspring of a Wife, 
 Dearer, when living, than his Life, 
 Abroad on urgent Bus'nefs bent, 
 Forth from his homely Cottage went; 
 His Babe afleep in Cradle lyine, 
 (No further Need of lullabying) 
 His fav'rite Dog too left behind, 
 His Child and Houfe's Guard defign'd : 
 Ended his Bus'nefs, foon the Swain 
 Returns to his lov'd Charge again; 
 He lifts the Latch, (his little Cot, 
 No other Bar or Fence had got) 
 His Dog with confcious Sound and Tail 
 (In Dogs can Treachery prevail!) 
 Joy more than ufual exprefles, 
 Twilling his Form with fond CarefTes ; 
 But, Oh, how great was his Surprize ! 
 All fmear'd with Blood the Dog he fpies ; 
 His frightful Jaws diftain'd with Gore, 
 Sufpicious Marks of Murder bore; 
 
 The
 
 f 37 J 
 
 The frighted Parent looks around, 
 No little Darling's to be found ; 
 
 The Cradle overturn'd The reft 
 
 By Fear and wild Defpair was gueft; 
 The Infant's Fate each Object (hews; 
 The Murd'rer in his Dog he views. 
 He rag'd, he tore his Hair, he fwore, 
 And with a Hatchet which he bore, 
 Dealing a vengeful Blow, he ftrait 
 Confign'd the MaftifF to his Fate; 
 Then headlong to the Cradle flies, 
 Which rais'd (Amazement all !) he fpies 
 His fmiling Treafure on the Floor, 
 Afleep, un wounded and fecure; 
 And not far diftant from the Child, 
 A monft'rous Serpent, newly kill'd, 
 All torn and bloody, which 'twas plain 
 
 The faithful murder'd Dog had (lain 
 
 Slain in his Baby's dear Defence, 
 To fave from Death its Innocence; 
 And in the Fray, fo fays the Fable, 
 Were overfet both Child and Cradle. 
 
 If to the Moral you attend, 
 You'll ne'er unheard, condemn your Friend. 
 
 D ED-
 
 I 38 3 
 
 EDWARD and CLARA.* 
 
 TT TASTE, Edward t h*Re, Oh, quick- 
 11 ly haftc, 
 
 a 
 
 ** Like Lightning fpeed away; 
 * { And to where Love and Safety dwell, 
 ** Thy Clara fwift convey. 
 
 * Nor darkfome Night, or Forefl drear, 
 " Can frightful Thoughts infpire; 
 
 Since from a hated Lover freed, 
 " And an unfeeling Sire. 
 
 The facred Rites, the fatal Pomp, 
 " Proclaim my deftin'd Doom; 
 
 * But fooner (hall To-morrow's Sun 
 * Behold me in my Tomb. 
 
 < Cou'd Parent fee his kneeling Child, 
 
 " And not incline an Ear ? 
 Not ev'n the Vulture will the Heart 
 
 " Of his own Offspring tear. 
 
 What's 
 
 * Clara, Daughter of Earl Witgulph, being enamoured of 
 Edward, a young Gentleman of inferior Rank and Fortune, 
 made her Efcape into a neighbouring Forefr, (where flic h d 
 appointed to meet Edward) in order to avoid a Marriage with 
 Edred Earl of Mercia. to whom her Father had deter* 
 mined to Sacrifice her the next Day.
 
 t $9 I 
 
 w What's Mercians haughty Lo'rcT to me? 
 
 " I fcorn a pageant Crown; 
 *' While in my Edward's Heart I reign, 
 
 " On Monarchs I look down. 
 
 * Have I a Parent loft? My Friends, 
 
 My Kindred all unkind? 
 * Ah fVo! all thefe, and much, much more, 
 " In Edward I fhall find. 
 
 What tho' I boaft a Thane my Sire, 
 
 * Thou'rt not of low Degree: 
 w But what's, compar'd to Worth like Thine,. 
 
 " A Tinfel Anceftry? 
 
 ** Come, Edward, come ; far from this Scene 
 
 " Of Danger we'll remove; 
 " To ftay is Death : 'Tis worfs ttian Death,, 
 
 " Deprrv'd of what we love. 
 
 Hafte, Edward hafte Thy Clara calls; 
 
 " Oh, Whence this long Delay? 
 ** Alasf I fear: Thou wert not wont 
 
 " Thus to prolong thy Stay.'*' 
 
 She faid' And lo, a Voice was heard, 
 
 Not Thunder more cou'd wound: 
 
 ** O Heav'n !" (he cry'd For Well fhe knew 
 Her Father's awful Sound. 
 
 D z Dege-
 
 f 40 J 
 
 * Degenerate Wretch! Think not unknown 
 
 ' Ihy purpos'd Scheme," he cr/d; 
 Purfu'd , oWcn, thy low b.rn Choice, 
 as for Prefumption died" 
 
 Her E yes fhe rais'd:-Poor Edward lay, 
 With many a Wound defac'd; 
 
 She icream'd-and falling on the Bier, 
 His bleeding Corpfe embrac'd. 
 
 No fhort-liv'd Eloquence of Tears - 
 
 Her inward Conflicts {hew ; 
 But in her Eye, all wild, appears 
 
 Unutterable Woe. 
 
 Unfeeling, barbarous, cruel Sire J 
 " We never more will part:" 
 She drew a Bodkin from her Hair. 
 She pierc'd her faithful Heart. 
 
 United now in one pure Stream, 
 
 The crimfon Channels flow; 
 And, as if confcious of their Fate, 
 
 Blufh with a richer glow. 
 
 An only Child deftroy'd The Thane 
 
 Repentance feels too late; 
 And an unpity'd broken Heart, 
 
 Soon gives him to his Fate. 
 
 Written
 
 [ 4i ] 
 
 Written on a blank Leaf of Shakespeare. 
 
 OH, Sbakefpearef Sbakefpeare ! How thy Magic 
 charms! 
 Now wakes to Rage, and now as quick difarms; 
 Sooths, pierces, melts : Hurries our Souls away, 
 Leaving untenanted our Shells of Clay. 
 Thofe Worlds which Alexander wifh'd in vain 
 With murd'ring lawiefs Conqueft to obtain, 
 Thy more victorious Pen (that Magic Wand !) . 
 Charms from their Spheres to hail thy greatCommand: 
 Elves, Witches, Demons ftart up at thy Call; 
 You Naturalize, whatu;tfi Unnatural. 
 
 A fingle Word of thine delineates more 
 Than Pages from a modern Play wright's Store: 
 Our Language is too wesk to make thee known, 
 You form a richer Language or" your own: 
 Shakefperian all! You charm us, while around, 
 We tread Parnajjtan confecrated Ground. 
 
 In a fine Phrenzy rolling, your keen Eye 
 Pierces the Depth of vaft Profundity; 
 Quicker than fove's own Lightning rapid flies, 
 And at your plaftic Touch new Beings rife: 
 What Worlds are by thy wond rous Fiat made! 
 Thou Great Creator ! 1 had aimoft faid. 
 
 D 3 The
 
 I 42 ] 
 
 The Critic's pigmy Bafis you defpife, 
 All Nature is the Bafe on which You rife; 
 To others as fuperior your Quill, 
 As Atlas to the Mole-conftru&ed Hill : 
 Like Larks at beft They fkim our nether Skies, 
 Whilft Eagle Shake/peat e. to Heav'n's Summit flies, 
 Perches Jove's Sceptre* waits his awful Nod, 
 Or grafps the dreadful Thunder of the God, 
 
 If it be true what Critics oft have faid, 
 That Admiration is of Folly bied, 
 Grant Heav'n, that Folly's Paths I ftill attend,' 
 And wear her Liv'ry to my Being's End. 
 
 
 The
 
 C 43 ] 
 The TOP S.. 
 
 FROM School and from Grammar released, 
 as one Day, 
 TwoYoungfters with Tops were indulging atPlay, 
 'With whipping and fcourging while one was 
 
 employ'd, 
 The other his Caftle-Top coolly enjoy'd: . 
 Old Lucius their Tutor, who well knew the Art, 
 From Subjects moft trifling wife Rules to- impart,. 
 Thus fpolceas heey'd 'em--"Good Pupils, obferve, 
 ** And clofe in your Bofom this Leflbn preferve: 
 *' Young Boys are like Tops: Think a little, 
 
 you'll find, 
 * Like Tops, that you're all of the verfatile Kind : 
 * Bad Lads are like Whipping Tops : From the 
 
 Beginning, 
 " Quite idle, unlefs Signior Whip keeps 'em 
 
 fpinning : 
 " E contra, good Lads are like Caftle-Tops found, 
 " Who fpin free and willing without Lafhor Wound: 
 " A Lafh wou'd a Cafrle-Top's Spirits abolifh, 
 " Would trip up its Heels, and its S pinning demolish; 
 " Good Boys too with whipping would foon lofe 
 
 their Fire, 
 *< While Idlers, like whippingTops,lafhingrequire. 
 
 " Then
 
 C 44 ] 
 
 Then wifely the Caftle-Top take for you r 
 Guide, 
 
 Spin freely, Scourge never fhall tickle your 
 
 Hide." 
 
 On ^Modern COMEDIES. 
 
 QHakefpeare and John/on, with the learned Corps > 
 *^ Of Poets, much admir'd in Days of Yore, 
 From Nature drew tHeir Characters like Fools ; 
 Our modern Playwrights follow wifer Rules: 
 Pidures from Life they fcorn to let you fee ; 
 Not Nature but what Nature ought to be; 
 Your Iow-hVd Humor, Wit, and fuch poor Stuff, 
 
 In Times of Ignorance did well enough : 
 
 In this Refind, this Novel-reading Age, 
 They've banifh'd all fuch Nonfenfe from the Stage j 
 No Wonder Plav- wrights fwarm inthofe blcftDaysj 
 Sermons, they find, are eaficr made than Plays. 
 
 
 Mifs
 
 E 45 3 
 
 Mifs NANCY. 
 A Fable. 
 
 TH E doating Parents grieve and fret, 
 Lett they ihould lofe their only Pet* 
 Mils Nancy, by devouring Sweets, 
 Was grown as pale as her own Sheets; 
 Have 'em (he wou'd What Nurfe wou'd chufe 
 So fweet a Baby to refufe? 
 For tho' a Prodigy of Wit, 
 Mifs had not feen four Twelvemonths yetj 
 To Death almoft indulg'd, old Mentor, 
 Their grave Phyfician, quick was fent for; 
 This Son of Galen, ftraitway brib'd, 
 Bitters and Gruel were prefer ib'dj 
 But how, alas, fhall Mifs be brought, 
 To fwallow fuch a naufeous Draught ; 
 If Phyfic call'd, Mamma well knows 
 Mifs wou'd turn up her little Nofe. 
 Tho' very young, Nancy obferv'd 
 Mamma with Tea was duly ferv'd ; 
 And oft (he whimp'ring crv'd " 'Twas hard 
 ** Nancy of Tea fhou'd be debarr'd :" 
 The Hint Mamma with Prudence takes, 
 In Tea-Pot the Prefcription makes, 
 The healthful Viand ferves to Nancy, 
 This ftraitway tickles Mifs's Fancy; 
 The Aparatus all declares 
 'Twas Tea on which Mifs Nancy fares; 
 
 And
 
 I 46 I 
 
 And tho' her Face fhe fometimes fcrew*cT, 
 * She vow'd her Tea was vaftly good;" 
 (Ev'n Nurflings ftrive with Might and Main, 
 For little -Women to be ta'en) 
 And Milk, tho* fugar'd, henceforth fcorning, 
 She drank her Med'cine-Tea each Mornings 
 Takes her difguftful Mefs with Glee, 
 Becaufe Mamma hrnames it Tea* 
 
 Let not grown Wifdom with a Smile, 
 Mift Nancy's childifh Folly blame; 
 
 for few now breathe in Britain's Ifle,. 
 But what are cheated with a Name. 
 
 
 0*
 
 I 47 I 
 
 On a beautiful Young LADY, remarkably vain, whs 
 died of the Small-Pox. 
 
 A Few Days fince Cleora (hone confeft, 
 The love] left Nymph that ever grac'd 
 our Plain, 
 And tho' by Venus and the Graces dreft, 
 She was not half fo fair, as fh'e was vain* 
 
 Admiring Swains fincereft Homage paid, 
 
 New Conquefts ev'ry Hour her Charms could 
 boaft; 
 
 But all thofe Conquefts which her Beauties made, 
 Were by her boundlefs Pride and Folly loft. 
 
 How chang'd the Scene ! No more me gives Delight, 
 
 To foul Variola* a lifelefs Prey; 
 OfFenfive to the Touch, the Smell, the Sight; 
 
 Who once admir'd now loathing turn away. 
 
 That Form which moulded was from Beauty's 
 Queen 
 
 Raifes Difguft : Think, Virgins, think 
 
 how foon, 
 Thofe Beauties now with Admiration feen 
 
 May change, alas ! before yon weaning Moon. 
 
 Beauty ! 
 * The Soull-Pwc fo called.
 
 C 48 ) 
 
 Beauty! What is it but a fhort-liv'd Flower* 
 And what is Life itfelf? A Pi gmy ' s Span / 
 
 Perhaps the Durance of a fingle Hour 
 
 And Pride, c,rft Pr.de, was never made forMan. 
 
 On feeing a LAW BOOK bound in uncokured 
 L-aif* and white Edges. 
 
 "IXTITH unftain'd Edges, and in fpotlefs Calf, 
 r A l*w Book bound muft make a Stoic 
 Taugh j 
 
 For in that ftriking Emblem you may fee, 
 
 Not what Law is, but what the Lwjhould be ; 
 
 A Law Book thus in the Law Livery dreft, 
 
 Is Jike a Jefuit in a Lay-man's Veft 
 
 'Tis like a Strumpet cloath'd in fpotlefs White, 
 
 Tis like a bitter Apple, fair to Sight j 
 'Tis like a Ample Quaker, plain and neat, 
 
 I hat with his Yeas and Noes is fure to cheat J 
 
 T.s like a Pirate, that falfe Colours fhews, 
 Or Mela's Flames conceal'd in Virgin Snows; 
 
 Tis ; l.ke-In fhort, 'tis like Dan Mi/ton's Sin, 
 All fair without, but monfl'rous foul within 
 
 F E-
 
 r 49 3 
 
 FEMALE CURIOSITY. 
 A Tale. 
 
 WHILE yet the World was in its Teens, 
 (Of Centuries, the Poet means) 
 By Jsve commifiion'd from above, 
 Straight to the Earth flew D-eath and Love: 
 As mutual Benefits defign'd 
 To fhed their Bleflings on Mankind.' 
 Love like a fair Adonis fhone, 
 Nor Death appear 'd that Skeleton 
 Which modern Painters falfely {hew him, 
 (To judge from them you'd fcarcely know him) 
 His Face, tho' fomewhat pale and thin, 
 Was fmiling, and devoid of Grin; 
 He was, in Air, Shape, Voice, and Feature, 
 A decent, unforbidding Creature: 
 A Bow and Arrows either bore, 
 Both welcome Guefts at every Door;- 
 Death was commiflxoned to fet free 
 Old palfied Age from Miferyj 
 And Love his Arrows to employ, 
 In dealing that inchanting Joy, 
 Without which Heav'n would taftelefs prove ; 
 For what were Heav'n, unblefs'd with Love? 
 Love's Pow'r the Young and Fair obey, 
 While Age hail'd Death's obliging Sway; 
 
 E Each
 
 r 50 ] 
 
 Each courted as Man's guardian Friend, 
 Tho' widely different their End. 
 
 For feme Time Matters fmoothly went, 
 Happy the Young the Old content: 
 When Death and Love travelling together, 
 The Ev'ning dark, ftormy the Weather, 
 Quick to a neighbouring Farm they fped, 
 They crav'd a Supper and a Bed : 
 The honeft Farmer and his Dame, 
 He Camus call'd, Demea her Name, 
 With Hofpitality fincere, 
 A Welcome gave, and wholfome Cheer: 
 The Guefts, to entertain the Peafant, 
 Crack'd Jokes, told Tales, and Stories pleafant; 
 Talk'd Scandal, and abus'd the Great, 
 Pity'd the Poor, reform'd the State; 
 They chatted, drank, and laugh'd, 'till tir'd, 
 Shook Hands, : and then to Bed retir'd. 
 
 But our good Dame, who, by the bye, 
 
 Had fome fmall Curicfity, 
 
 Obferv'd the Quivers which each Gueft 
 
 With Care conceal'd under his Veft; 
 
 She wonder'd what they could contain, 
 
 She thought, re-thought fhe rack'd her Brain; 
 
 And when her Guefts, all weary, llept, 
 
 She fnugly to their Chamber crept ; 
 
 Their Quivers feiz'd, and ftrait withdrew, 
 
 Impatient the Contents to view; 
 
 * She
 
 C 5i I 
 
 She emptied 'em upon the Floor, 
 
 Eagerly view'd 'em o'er and o'er, 
 
 The variegated Feathers eyes 
 
 With Admiration and Surprize ; 
 
 But fearing left her Guefts fhould wake, 
 
 And Umbrage at her Peeping take, 
 
 Hurrying poor Demea fo comrnix'd 'em, 
 
 When in the Quivers fhe refix'd 'em, 
 
 That many of Love's Darts convey'd, 
 
 Into Death's fatal Quiver ftray'd; 
 
 And, vice verfa, Death's were found 
 
 Among Love's Arrows to abound j 
 
 Which prov'd the Source of fuch Miilakes, 
 
 Such unaccountable, ftrange Freaks, 
 
 That by this Accident fo fcurvy, 
 
 All Nature feem'd turn'd topfey turvey. 
 
 Death's Arrows, twang'd from Cupid's Bow, 
 
 Now breathlefs laid Love's Votaries low; 
 
 And Cupid's Darts, from Death's fell Quiver, 
 
 Now for the firft Time piere'd the Liver 
 
 Of ill-ftarr'd Age, who loud complains 
 
 Of Fires fhot thro' his fhrivell'd Veins : 
 
 Hence we behold the wrinkled Dame, 
 
 With youthful Airs avow her Flame j 
 
 Or Square-Toes like a Coxcomb cry, 
 
 " If Che proves unkind, I die." 
 
 In fhort, fince this curft blundering ira, 
 
 Man's Happinefs is all Chimera. 
 
 E 2 Oh>
 
 C 52 ] 
 
 Oh, Female Curiofity! 
 Great Source of Man's Felicity ! 
 How very much to thee we owe, 
 Let Mother Eve and Demea fhew : 
 What endlefs Bleffings flow from thee,. 
 Oh, Female Curiofity/ 
 
 
 Tht
 
 [ 53 3 
 
 The Unfortunate Damsel's Resolution. 
 An Old S ON G, newly ivritten. 
 
 NEar a Beckfide, with Willow fringM, 
 The mournful Dolly lay ; 
 And thus the Nymph was heard to fing, 
 Or rather heard to fay.. 
 
 Ct 'Twas here, on this accurfed Spot, 
 
 " That Tummas of the Mill, 
 " With Speechings fine firfb ftole my Heart, 
 
 ** And. got his wicked Will.. 
 
 <e A thoufand fugar'd Vows he fwore, 
 
 " His Dolly he wou'd wed ; 
 * Ah, Tummas, keep thofe Vows, or give 
 
 " Me back my Maiden -head. 
 
 " Upon this Willow will I hang, 
 
 <c In pure Revenge and Spite ; 
 * And if the Wretch dare lie alone, 
 
 ** I'll haunt him ev'ry Night. 
 
 * I'll fhdke his Curtains (but in Truth 
 
 " His Bed does Curtains Jack) 
 M And plague him, till the Morning Cock 
 
 " Obliges me to pack. 
 
 *' Or thro' the Church-yard fhou'd he go 
 " By Night my Ghoft iball rife, 
 
 E 3 " And
 
 t 54 J 
 
 " And like a headlefs Horfe appear, 
 " With frightful Saucer Eyes: 
 
 ** No Fear the perjur'd Man can hire 
 " (Too great will be the Coft) 
 
 " Our Book-learn'd Prieft, in the Red Sea, 
 * To lay my troubled Ghoft. 
 
 Upon this Willow will I hang, 
 " Ev'n here beneath this Tree ;" 
 
 She faid and dipt her Garters twain 
 
 From juft above her Knee. 
 
 The fatal Noofe poor Doll prepares, 
 
 Her Lover fprings the Beck ; 
 " Ah, Tummas, art thou there," fhe cries* 
 
 And hangs upon his Neck. 
 
 From this Example learn ye Swains, 
 
 Nor henceforth perjur'd prove, 
 For Girls updone, are apt you fee* 
 
 To hang themfelves for Love, 
 
 M 
 
 The
 
 C 5S I 
 
 The FISHERMAN. 
 J Fable. 
 
 UNknowing and unknown to Fame, 
 An boneft Clown Dorus his Name, 
 
 With fraudful Line, and baited Hook, 
 
 Near the Sea Shore his Station took. 
 
 In hopes the Cravings to fupply 
 
 Of a large helplefs Family : 
 
 But Fortune, who her Favour fheds 
 
 Seldom upon deferving Heads, 
 
 On Dorus glanc'd with fcornful Spite j 
 
 No Prize not ev'n a fingle Bite. 
 
 Tir'd with ill Luck he now defpairs, 
 And for a hungry Home prepares ; 
 When to his Joy and great Surprize, 
 He feels a Fifli of monftrous Size, 
 
 (So flatters fmiling Hope) When, lo < 
 
 Fortune again appears his Foe; 
 
 He drags on Shore, with cautious Pull, 
 
 A Fifh ? Ah no a Human Skull $ 
 
 A ghaftly and forbidding Treat, 
 Improper Food for him to eat : 
 What can he do ? Shall he again 
 Commit his Capture to the Main ? 
 But here Humanity prevails, 
 Afcd Piety his Heart aflkils ; 
 
 Who
 
 I 56 I 
 
 Who knows, cries Dorus, with a Sigh, 
 (A Heart-fprung Tear in either Eye) 
 " But this might once a Portion be, 
 " Of a poor Spoufe, or Sire like me ; 
 " On whofe Endeavours a large Brood 
 " Of Little Ones might hang for Food j 
 " Sbipwreck'd perhaps in Sight of Land, 
 " Or murder'd by fome Villain's Hands 
 My Duty and my Feelings too 
 " Strongly evince what I fhou'd do ; 
 " The Kindnefs which to him I fhew, 
 " Perhaps to others I may owe." 
 
 So faid, away the Skull he bears, 
 And in the Woods a Grave prepares : 
 He digs; his Heart dilates with Pleafure 
 To find a Heav'n-fent golden Treafure y 
 A Treafure to his utmoft Wifhes, 
 Superior to ten thoufand Fifhes ; 
 With which he joyous marches llome,. 
 The Skull bequeathing in its Room. 
 
 Thofe Hearts that with Humanity diftend^ 
 In Providence are fure to meet a Friend ; 
 And the fame Love we to our Brethren (hew, 
 Our Heavenly Father will on us befiow.. 

 
 C 57 3 
 
 The CONFESSORS. 
 
 With Creft commanding, and Cathedral Look, 
 Thus to Alvarez Father Gerald fpoke : 
 ' Regardlefs of your Soul, whence comes it, Son, 
 " Day after Day, that thus you Shriving fhun ? 
 " Thofe who with Mother Church run high inTick, 
 Will find their Prifon Hell, theft Jailor Nick : 
 '* Learn from your Wife, nor longer go aftray, 
 " She, pious Soul ? fhrives almoft every Day." 
 Alvarez, who oft thought in jealous Mood, 
 That Madam's Shriving boded him no Good, 
 Yet durft not to Sir Pried behave uncivil, 
 For Fear of Inquifition and the Devil, 
 
 Thus made Reply ; " Our virtuous Wives, 
 
 Heav'n blefs 'em 1 
 ' Have hand fome well-fed Fathers to confefs'em; 
 " Had we to fhrive Us, Females young and gay, 
 *' We fhou'd at leaft be as devout as they ; 
 *' Upon our Knees we oft fhou'd fall before 'em, 
 *' Diflblve in Blifs, and perfectly adore 'em." 
 
 Alvarez judg'd wifely: Were Nuns made 
 
 Confeflbrs, 
 T'inflicl: proper Penance on bearded Tranfgreflbrs; 
 As Father Confeflbrs to Females are tender, 
 So Lady Confeflbrs wou'd prove to our Gender; 
 Ev'n Whitfield and Wefiey wou'd Converts becamej 
 
 And all the World own the Religion of Rome* 
 
 The
 
 C 58 ] 
 
 The SWINE and ERMINE. 
 A Fable. 
 
 THou filthy Beaft, thou worfe than Vermine 
 (Thus to a Swine exclaims an Ermine) 
 
 Avaunt at proper Diftance know 
 
 The Difference 'twixt a Clown and Beau : 
 A Swine ! There is not in all Nature 
 So dirty, underbred a Creature : 
 How can Mankind fuch Neighbours bear? 
 You poifon and pollute the Air. 
 
 Thou gawdy Nothing with Difdain 
 
 Retorts the Swine, thy Pride refrain ; 
 
 Such Finnikin fpruce Things as you 
 
 With juft Contempt and Scorn I view: 
 
 Let Man our different Worth decide, 
 
 His Judgment foon fhall quell your Pride; 
 
 We and our numerous tafteful Breed, 
 
 Thoufands and thoufands daily feed : 
 
 From Putrefaction muft arife 
 
 Steams fraught with Death, which otherwife 
 
 By Man imbib'd, with earlieft Breath 
 
 Wou'd fweep the Human Race to Death ; 
 
 By us this Putrefaction taken 
 
 As Food, becomes good Pork and Bacon; 
 
 Concocted thro' our Chymic Veins, 
 
 It yields both wholfome Food and Gains; 
 
 And
 
 r 59 i 
 
 And ev'ry Swine may boaft, good Sir, 
 
 That he is Nature's Scavinger : 
 
 Ev'n you yourfelves, in a great Meafure, 
 
 Our Debtors are for Health and Pleafure : 
 
 The holy Prieft will take our Part, 
 
 Sir Hugh loves Tythe Pig from his Heart ;> 
 
 Riches we give and Suftenance, 
 
 While all your boafted Excellence 
 
 Ii with that worthlefs Skin of thine, 
 
 To make your Brother Coxcombs fhine. 
 
 Judge not of Worth by fpkndid Shezv, 
 A Clown's more ufeful than a Beau* 
 
 
 ALEX-
 
 C 60 ] 
 
 ALEXANDER the GREAT. 
 
 AS Alexander, (all the World fubdu'd) 
 Amid a Throng of circling Courtiers flood, 
 " In Me, he cry'd, Great Amnion's Offspring vieWj 
 " To mighty Jove my Origin is due ; 
 M Let favour'd Monarchs fwell young Amnion's 
 
 Train, 
 My Father's Viceroy, God -like, here I reign ; 
 Whate'er I will's the Will of mighty Jove ; 
 " On Earth I rule, as he commands above." 
 
 He fpoke : Adoring Courtiers proftrate lay, 
 
 When a poor Crow, whom Chance had brought 
 
 that Way, 
 As high in Air, he o'er the Monarch fped, 
 Croak'd loud Difdain, and/; / upon his Head. 
 
 
 *
 
 t 61 ] 
 
 A New HYMN by a Preacher of the 
 Word, in Imitation of the Inimitable Moravian 
 and Methodiftical Hymns* 
 
 TH Y Faith, O Lord, in Blefllngs fhower, 
 That Sinners may thy Saints believe ; 
 For were it not for Faith's ftrong Power, 
 In faith thy Servants cou'd not live. 
 
 Carerefs of all that Satan can, 
 
 Armies of Fiends we will not fear, 
 
 While General W d leads the Van, 
 
 And General W y guards our Rear. 
 
 And for thefe Sinners who dare go 
 
 To fee a Play, their Eyes put out ; 
 
 And at Affemblies, Mercy fhow, 
 
 In giving all who dance the Gout. 
 
 As Forte let our Groans be ftrong, 
 Our Sighs Piano difmal fad* j 
 
 Allegro is the Devil's Song j 
 
 True Saints Jhoud mourn, Fiends will be glad. 
 
 Yet may each Brother in the Faith 
 
 A Dove-like gentle Sifter find, 
 To fport with him in Love's fweet Path, 
 
 And frifk and bound like wanton Hind. 
 
 F Our
 
 i to 3 
 
 Our Lives in Love thus may we fpend, 
 And love and frifk, and friflc and love; 
 
 And when our Love on Earth we end, 
 Grant we may frifk and bound above. 
 
 Full well we know that Sion's Keys, 
 The Keys of Sion's Mount are given 
 
 To us to let in whom we pleafe, 
 
 Thro' the Jlrait Turnpike Gate of Heaven 
 
 Where faithful Travellers of Courfe 
 Muft pay the Turnpike as they pafsj 
 
 ,A good round Sum for ev'ry Horfe, 
 But a far rounder for each Afs. 
 
 
 Tht
 
 r 6 3 1 
 
 The T W O KINGS. 
 A Fable. 
 
 CRoffing the River Styx, with Shoals 
 Of new departed motley Souls, 
 Old Skipper Charon looked damn'd black, 
 Left with the Load his Boat fhou'd crack ; 
 Tho' Souls, as Souls, are lightfome Freight, 
 Their Sins oft prove a deadly Weight, 
 And fhou'd their floating Carriage fail 'em, 
 Not ev'n Cork Jackets wou'd avail 'em : 
 
 His Boat chuck-full, fuch fcreaming rofc 
 
 From Nurfes, MiiTes, Ladies, Beaus, 
 That Charon rais'd his Voice and fwore, 
 While Echo anfvver'd from the Shore, 
 ** If they continu'd their damn'd Tricks,. 
 " He'd foufe 'em every one in &tyx," 
 And afk'd 'em with a Phiz moll grim,, 
 
 If they had ever learnt to fwim : 
 
 In fhort he foon becalm'd the Riot,. 
 And nade 'em tolerably quiet : 
 He trim'd his Boat, and with a Frown,, 
 Damn'd 'em, and made 'em all fit down* 
 
 Order obferv'd in fome Degree,, 
 A Ghoft of high Pompofity, 
 With courtly Air and fcornful Look 
 Thus to his Brother Shadows fpoke um , 
 
 F 2 ** Hence,
 
 [ 64 ] 
 
 44 Hence, Reptiles, hence your Diftance know 
 " Due Homage to a Monarch {how j 
 " Shall one of my illuftrious Birth, 
 
 " A King, a Deity on Earth, 
 
 " Be crowded thus with the Canaille^ 
 
 44 Fellows who ftink of Beef and Ale ? 
 
 44 You, Charon, with that dirty Face, 
 
 44 Depend on't, you fhall lofe your Place ; 
 
 44 My Brother Sovereign Pluto foon 
 
 44 Shall make you fmart for what you've done : 
 
 44 Reptiles, avaunt at Diftance tend j 
 
 * Your Touch, Looks, Manners, all effend." 
 
 Old Charon grumbling in his Maw, 
 Damn'd him, and bid him hold his Jaw j 
 
 Whilft One, who living, from the Stage 
 
 Mad often entertain'd the Age, 
 With Whim Cervantlc in his Face, 
 
 Firft bowing, thus addrefs'd his Grace : 
 
 44 All Hail Great King, Great Monarch, Hail ! 
 
 44 Frown not, I'm not of the Canaille \ 
 
 ** In me your Brother Brentford view, 
 
 44 I've been a King as well as you ; 
 
 44 Like you have worn a Pageant Crown, 
 
 44 And aw'd the Millions with a Frown j 
 
 44 Like you too, Brother Phiz, refign'd, 
 
 44 And left my Pageant Crown behind : 
 
 44 But now Good Sir, be not offended 
 
 44 The Curtain dropt, the Farce is ended : 
 
 44 Tho
 
 C 65 3 
 
 " Tho' Fortune for the Stage equipt us, 
 " Our Wardrobe-keeper, Death, has ftript us, 
 " And the rich Robes on Earth pofTeft, 
 ** Lie folded in the Grave at reft : - 
 " Maugre the Rank we living bore, 
 
 w Like thefe we're Shadows now- no more; 
 
 " All, Brothers All at leaft in this, 
 
 " We're but P~erfon<s Dramatis", 
 
 " Like them we're bound to Critic Hall) 
 
 " By Critic Rules to rife or fall; 
 
 '* Where Kings, Lords, Beggars, all mu ft ft and,, 
 
 *'. And undiftinguifti'd hold the Hand, 
 
 " While Critic Minos and his Jury 
 
 " ('Tis true, good Brother, I allure ye) 
 
 ** Will hifs. or clap, juft as they find 
 
 " We've, play'd the Characters aflign'cT; 
 
 '* Where Birth and Rank pafs unregarded,, 
 
 'And- Merit only is rewarded.'.' 
 
 He fpoke the Monarch fighing, fwore,, 
 
 "He never heard fuch Truths before." 
 
 ji^&te 
 
 F 3 E P I-
 
 I 66 J 
 
 EPIGRAM, 
 
 FOur Hours Volufius fpent the other Day,. 
 With three grave learned Fellows of our 
 College, 
 And when he .left 'em,, thus was heard to fay, 
 " Oh, the amazing Ignorance of Knowledge" 
 
 P I G, R A M. 
 
 Within a Bracelet's Circle Will appears, 
 Which on her Arm his loving Spoufy 
 wears ; 
 Will in Return his Sophy's Portrait fhews 
 Dependant from his Watch where'er he goes ; 
 With equal Truth -their Pamon they impart, 
 Both Arm and Fob are dijlant from the Heart. 
 
 HENRY
 
 f 6 7 J 
 
 HENRY and SOPS Y>- 
 
 I. 
 
 2LTE N"'R T and Fortune now ftre Friends,, 
 His many Sorrows all are paft; 
 Fortune to make him full Amends,, 
 Gives to his wifhing Arms at lad 
 
 The long-lov'd' Sophy ; faireft Maid' 
 That ever caus'd or felt Love's Smart 
 
 In her mod .richly were difplay'd 
 
 The loveliejt Form and trueft Heart* 
 
 
 3 
 
 V 
 
 III. 
 
 Long had their Friends with Souls fevere 
 Oppos'd the Lovers happy P'ate ;. 
 
 But chang'd .with Smiles they now appear* 
 
 And with 'em at the Altar wait: 
 
 IV. 
 
 The Holy Prieft pronounc'd aloud 
 The Gordian Wonder-working Spell' j 
 
 While Loue and Hymen "both avow'd, 
 
 " Shrin'd in their Breafts they'd ever dwell. * 
 
 " And 
 This and the following arc founded on Fa&s.
 
 C 18 1 
 v. 
 
 And art thou mine," the Bridegroom cry'd,- 
 "With all thy wond'rous Truth and Charms ?"' 
 
 She frmTd me wou'd have fpoke fhe figh'd 
 And ftraight expir'd within his Arms, 
 
 VI; 
 
 Too weak to bear Joy's rufhing Flow, 
 Her tender Frame refigns her Breath ; 
 
 This Moment in Love's Arms and now,. 
 
 Enfolded in the Arms of Death. 
 
 vm 
 
 In vain, in vain you fly for Aid, 
 
 Life ftiall no more that Form relume;, 
 
 The Marriage Bed, illrfated Maid, 
 For thee ordain'd, is a cold Tomb.. 
 
 VIII. 
 While Floods of Tears and" piteous Moan, 
 
 A genuine Sorrow teftify, 
 Silent poor Henrys feen alone, 
 
 No Tear bedews poor Henrys Eye. 
 
 IX. 
 Homeward his Sophy's Corpfe he tends,. 
 
 Frantic his Sopby~ he enfolds ; 
 That friendly Night his Sorrow ends; 
 
 One Grave the New-wed Lovers holds. 
 
 We
 
 I 69 I 
 
 X. 
 
 We grafp at Joys within our Reach ; 
 
 We grafp, and catch a wat'ry Bow : 
 Leffons like thefe fhou'd Mortals teach, 
 
 True Joy exifts not here below. 
 
 
 AMINTOR
 
 I 70 J 
 
 AM.1NTOR and ANNA. 
 
 I. 
 
 CURST with a confcious feeling Mind, 
 The poor Amintor lay, 
 Within a cheerlefs Jail confin'd,. 
 And figh'd his Hours away. 
 
 II. 
 
 To fave a Friend of Means bereft, 
 
 Amintor enter'd Bail ; 
 Friends oft prove 'fa\feAmintor's left 
 
 To languifh in a Jail. 
 
 III. 
 
 Where are thofe Friends, Amintor, where 
 Your Summer Days cou'd boaft ? 
 
 Like Infects now they difappear, 
 Kill'd by awint'ry Froft. 
 
 IV. 
 
 No Friend, fave One, now anxious came 
 To heal Misfortune's Wound : 
 
 That Friend, true to his Peace and Fame, 
 Was in his Anna found. 
 
 Hymen
 
 I 7< 3 
 v. 
 
 Hymen and Cupid wove the Chain, 
 
 That link'd her to his Heart; 
 With her he half forgot his Pain, 
 
 Nor felt Affli&ion's Dart. 
 
 VI. 
 
 Tho' all tlie Charms that Beauty knows, 
 
 Were in her Form expreft, 
 Yet faint her outward Charms, to thofe 
 
 That lodg'd within her Breaft. 
 
 vir. 
 
 A thoufand namelefs Arts fhe try'd 
 
 To footh his anxious Mind : 
 " My Dear Amlntor, oft fhe cry'd, 
 
 " Heav'n will at laft prove kind. 
 
 VIII. 
 ** Affliction's Cloud once overblown, 
 
 " Joy, doubly Joy appears ; 
 ' The Morn o'ercaft, the Noon-tide Sun 
 
 " A ftronger Brightnefs wears. 
 
 IX. 
 
 *< Virtue efTay'd ilill mounts the higher, 
 
 " And nobler Worth a flumes ; 
 " As Gold, when Drofs-rid by the Fire, 
 " More pure and rich becomes. 
 
 While
 
 [ 72 ] 
 
 X. 
 
 * While Innocence and Goodnefs reign 
 
 In my Amintor's Breaft, 
 Our Fate with Courage we'll fuftain, 
 
 * And leave to Heav'n the reft." 
 
 XI. 
 
 Chearful with him, Ihe ftill appears 
 
 The Meflenger of Hope;- 
 When from him, to her fmother'd Tears, 
 
 She gives a boundlefs Scope. 
 
 XII. 
 The Rofe, that erft with blooming Grace 
 
 Had with the Lilly (hone, 
 By Grief was wither'd : In her Face 
 
 The Lilly reign'd alone. 
 
 XIII. 
 Soon as the Lark falutes the Day, 
 
 Each Morning Anna flies, 
 To chafe corroding Spleen away, 
 
 And blefs Amintor's Eyes. 
 
 XIV. 
 A long, long Day No Annas feen j 
 
 Her Abfence caufes Dread ; 
 
 When filent, Grief cuts far more keen, 
 
 She preffes a fick Bed. 
 
 The
 
 f 73 1 
 
 XV. 
 
 The News when brought, he raving cries, 
 " Oh Wretch accurft !- -For Thee, 
 
 " For thee the Faithful Anna dies, 
 " Her fated End I fee. 
 
 XVI. 
 
 <l 'Tis thy accurfed Hand that throws 
 " The deadly murd'rous Dart, 
 
 'Tis Thou art Author of her Woes; 
 " Thou, Thou haft broke her Heart. 
 
 XVII. 
 
 " Thy Anna and thy little Son 
 
 " To thee their Ruin owe; 
 ** Thy fatal Folly has undone, 
 
 " All that. is good below." 
 
 XVIII. 
 
 No more, Amintor, now complain, 
 
 Thy Anna's amply bleft; 
 Of Fortune and her glitt'ring Train, 
 
 To utmoft Wifh pofleft : 
 
 XIX. 
 
 A Kinfman Carle, whofe griping Hand, 
 
 When living was unkind, 
 Dying, bequeath'd her all his Land, 
 
 Sore griev'd 'twas left behind. 
 
 The
 
 C 74 3 
 
 XX. 
 
 The News to Anna Health imparts, 
 
 Joy fparkles in her Eyes ; 
 From her forfaken Couch fhe ftarts, 
 
 " Thanks! gracious Heav'n!" fhe crie 
 
 XXI. 
 
 "Is Anna then ordain'd to give 
 
 " Amintor Liberty ? 
 " For his lov'd Sake I wifh to live, 
 
 u For him well pleas'd wou'-d <die. 
 
 xxir. 
 
 <t For him and my poor Babe- Oh, grant, 
 
 " This Flood of Joy I bear; 
 " Kind Heav'n has given me all I want, 
 
 " Henceforth I'll not defpair" 
 
 XXIII. 
 
 To Providence the grateful Tear, 
 Burfts from her up-rais'd Eyesj 
 
 Not Hecatombs to Heav'n appear 
 Such pleafing Sacrifice. 
 
 XXIV. 
 
 With Tranfport fir'd, ftie eager ran, 
 
 To make Amintor bleft : 
 She faw Amintor ghafrly, wan 
 
 In fhrowded Garment dreft. 
 
 Frantic
 
 r 75 i 
 
 XXV. 
 Frantic that Morn he rav'd " I ne'er 
 
 * Shall Anna fee again ;" 
 He falls a Prey to black Defpair ; 
 
 His Beart-ftrings burft in twain. 
 
 XXVI. 
 The Weaknefs which from Virtue grows, 
 
 Can Juftice faulty deem ? 
 
 Such Weaknefs Virtue only knows, 
 
 When Virtue's in Extreme. 
 
 XXVII. 
 Let callous Bofoms moralize, 
 
 And frigid Rules lay down ; 
 They feel not who are over- wife, 
 
 Or dart the Stoic Frown. 
 
 XXVIII. 
 Like Niobe a while fhe Hands, 
 
 Then finks upon the Floor, 
 She lifts her Eyes She wrings her Hands, 
 
 And never rifes more. 
 
 XXIX. 
 One fuch Example here below, 
 
 (In Heav'n let Virtue truft) 
 Does an hereafter plainly fhow; 
 
 Gad cannot be unjujl. 
 
 G % An
 
 7* } 
 
 An ENCOMIU M. 
 
 I. 
 
 ORTAL was never yet fo grac'd, 
 _ With partial Bleflings from the Skies* 
 As Draco \ Rich in every Tafte 
 That Men of real Worth Defpife. 
 
 M 
 
 11. 
 
 A Youth more lovely, more polite. 
 More witty, graceful, more refin'd, 
 
 Or one more form'd to give Delight, 
 Was never feen / his oicn Mind. 
 
 III. 
 
 " Study thyfdf," (Thus Sages write) 
 In Wifdom's Lore if you'd furpafs : 
 
 Draco each Morning, Noon, and Night, 
 Studies Himfelf Within the Glafs. 
 
 IV. 
 
 His Learning, his amazing Knowledge, 
 
 Impartial Judges muft confefs,. 
 Unequall'd ev'n by Heads of College, 
 
 In that moft noble Science Drefs. 
 
 Some
 
 I 77 I 
 
 Some filly Folk who know him not, 
 Aver, he's got an empty Skull ; 
 
 Can Emptinefs then be the Lot 
 Of one who Of himfelfs brimfuU 
 
 VI, 
 
 His Tongue fuch Torrents does difpenfe 
 Of Words; we're ftruck with wild Amaze; 
 
 Thefe Torrents ne'er can give Offence, 
 Tho* much he talks He Nothing fays. . 
 
 VH. 
 To Truth fo very warm a Friend r 
 
 Mortal by. him was ne'er deceiv'd;, 
 In. this he never can offend, 
 
 For Draco never was believed, 
 
 viir. 
 
 His Courage in the open Field,. 
 
 Was never doubted Day or Night;, 
 Nor was he ever known to yield, 
 
 For 'tis well known He dares not fight.. 
 
 IX. 
 
 Whene'er the lovely Swain draws near r 
 The Ladies all around him flock^ 
 
 At Sight of him they glad appear,. 
 For he's their favourite Laughing Stock. 
 
 G 3 So;
 
 C 78 1 
 
 x. 
 
 So very amorous the Youth, 
 
 Still making Love, ftill ogling, fighing, 
 Obferve him, and you'd fwear, in footh. 
 
 He cannot live-~unlefs he's dying* 
 
 XI. 
 
 But mould a Fair One equal die, 
 And Face to Face our Youth affail ; 
 
 Gods!, with what Eagernefs he'd fly 
 
 Backwards, like Cur with Jbrunk-'m Tail 
 
 XI r. 
 
 Proceed, dear Youth Dear Youth,, proceed, 
 To other Youths Example fhow; 
 
 And let 'em in your Actions read, 
 
 Not what they J?j su % bat ftlou'd mi do, 
 
 
 St C A~
 
 [7$] 
 
 St CATHERINE.. 
 A Fable. 
 
 A Reverend Monk and honeft Clown* 
 Journey 'd towards a Market Townj 
 The Time beguiling as they walk, 
 Like other Travelers, in fmall Talk; 
 'Till Chance directed to a Road 
 Where good" St Catherine's Image flood; 
 The pious Monk Obeifance made, 
 Th* unheeding Clown nor bow'd or prayed, 
 
 But onward' pafs'd : Struck with Surprize, 
 
 " What are you blind ?" the Father cries ; 
 " Behold where gpod St Catherine ftands;. 
 " The Saint your Reverence demands; 
 " Quick on your Knees Atonement make,. 
 " Left Heav'n's high Wrath in Thunder break 
 " O'er your devoted Head:" The Clown 
 Regardlefs of the Father's Frown, 
 Laughing reply'd; "What there you view, 
 w Within my Orchard lately grew; 
 " And that fine Form which now it Ihews s 
 " To Mudge the Carpenter it owes. 
 " Shall I in Reverence bend the Knee,. 
 ** To an old Stunt Crab- Apple Tree r 
 6C If that grim Lady is a Saint,. 
 ** (That Piece of Wood beda-ub'd with Paint) 
 
 " My
 
 r so i 
 
 My Orchard muft be Holy Ground* 
 " Where holy Apple Trees abound." 
 
 " A Tree I own it was-, or rather 
 A downright Log," replies the Father; 
 'Till Church by holy Ordination, "V 
 
 (A Kind of Tranfubftantiation) ^ 
 
 Has giv'n the Log a new Creation. J 
 
 A Saint 'tis now in every Senfe, 
 Therefore atone for your Offence; 
 "Beg good St Catherine's Interceffion, 
 To cleanfe you from your foul Tranfgreflionj; 
 Or Satan with his Brimftone Pickle, 
 Your carbonaded Hide will tickle." 
 
 The frighted Peafant knelt and pray'd,. 
 Then rifing fhrugg'd and fighing faid; 
 That (he's a Saint I'll not difpute; 
 The Church commands and I am mute; 
 * And yet Shall I my Weaknefs own ? 
 * To me fhe feems a Wooden one ; 
 " Ev'n at the Inilant I adore,. ^ 
 
 I can't help thinking of the Crabs flie bore 
 
 How many titled Things, we find, 
 Set up as Idols for Mankind ! 
 Who, when their Worth intrinfic's underftoody 
 Are meerSt Catherine's gilded Sucks of Wood.. 
 
 The
 
 r 81 ] 
 
 The PUPPET-SHOW. 
 A Tale.* 
 
 AT Skipton Wake, where once a Year, 
 With Sports and Paftime and good' Cheer, 
 The Lads and Lades blythe regale, 
 And feaft on Cheefe-cakes, Tarts, and' Ale; 
 (Wakes! the old Midwive's conftant Friend, 
 Where frolic Love and Joys attend; 
 Where mad cap Pranks Dame Nature fhews, 
 And Maidens their Green Sicknefs lofe) 
 Roger to (hew his Tafte polite, 
 Mun vifit Punch forfooth one Night : 
 Here, undifturbed by Critic Rules, 
 And hemm'd by Droves of neighbour Fools, 
 The Mufic, coarfe-daub'd Scenes and Light, 
 Cheaply afford our Hodge Delight : 
 At Punch's Smut, which he thought WLtj 
 Hi* cudden Sides were like to fplitj 
 And at each Joke, his Lanthorn Jaws 
 Extended wide, roar loud Applaufe ; 
 Or when Diftrefe auk ward appears, 
 Roger cou'd fcarce refrain from Tears ; 
 The Gothic Story with our Clown, 
 As Gofpel Truth goes glibly down:- 
 
 Not 
 
 * This made its Appearance fomc Years ago la tkc 
 
 Itttthrt Magazine.
 
 r 82 j 
 
 Not htixctte > s felf was more deceived, 
 
 When Melifandra's Fate he griev'd; 
 
 And of the fqueeking pigmy Crew, 
 
 His vengeful S.vord whole Squadrons flew:- 
 
 The Curtain dropt, the Drama ended, 
 
 The motley Audience homeward tended, 
 
 Clowns, Nurfes, Children, all well pleas'd, 
 
 And of their long-ftor'd Farthings eas'd ; 
 
 While fome more curious than the reft, 
 
 Behind the Curtain rudely preft. 
 
 On feeing this, our Roger too, 
 
 To eafe his Longings needs muft go : 
 
 With Fear and Diffidence he enters, 
 
 And fcarce to look about him ventures t 
 
 Here dangling on a Pin were feen, 
 
 A purpled King, or tinfel'd Queen; 
 
 Here Punch with fceptred Princes tumbled, 
 
 Here Priefts with Beelzebub lay jumbled; 
 
 Here fideicng hanging by a Wire, 
 
 A chop-fallen Keroe, Prince, or 'Squire*. 
 
 With fuch mock Grandeur thus furrounded, 
 
 Poor Hodge y alas ! was quite confounded : 
 
 Twirling his Hat, he fcrapes and bows, 
 
 And his Extent of Breeding (hewsj 
 
 The reft, at Hodge's droll Miftake, 
 
 Laugh 'till their Sides and Midriffs ake: 
 
 *' Sure, never yet was feen," cries one, 
 
 ** Such a befotted Simpleton; 
 
 " Wera
 
 r 83 ] 
 
 ' Were you not blind, you might behold 
 
 *' 'Tis Tinfel this you take for Gold; 
 
 " And what you fancy Flefti and Blood, 
 
 <c Is nought, d'ye fee, but Rags and Wood, 
 
 *' That cannot fpeak, look, move, or ftand, 
 
 * But owes all to the Artift's Hand, 
 
 <c Who fix'd on high, lordly prefides, 
 
 <c And with a Wire each Action guides.'* 
 
 Roger on this feem'd quite amaz'd, 
 
 He gap'd, he fcratch'd his Head, he gaz'd, 
 
 While Gybes from every Side accoft him, 
 
 And laughing Boobies coarfely roaft him; 
 
 Each judging of his own great Wit, 
 
 By Neighbour Hodge's Want of it. 
 
 Nay, haw'd ye, haw'd ye, where's the Wonder 
 That I," quo' Hodge, " fliould make this 
 
 Blunder ? 
 Since, as a Many do report, 
 In London nay fome fay, at Court, 
 There's nought more common than to fee 
 The Beaver doft'd, and bended Knee, 
 To ftrutting, wooden-headed Beaus, 
 With empty Fobbs, and tinfel'd Cloaths; 
 Who, Puppet-like, ne'er fpeak or move, 
 But as they're wire-led from above; 
 And like thefe Folk afide are thrown, 
 As ufelefs Logs the Work once done." 
 
 A RE.
 
 C 8 4 3 
 
 A REFLECTION. 
 
 THOU Cherub with a fmiling Face, 
 Religion! Child of heav'nly Grace, 
 What Demons, wrapt in horrid Gloom, 
 Thy Name blafphemouily aflume! 
 
 Thro' jaundic'd Eyes Enthufiafts fee 
 The Image of the Deity j 
 A Portrait falfe, held up to View 
 By a defigning impious Crew : 
 But no Tartuffe or {trolling Widgeon 
 Shall be my Cat'rer in Religion \ 
 What Reafon dictates, that I'll chufe, 
 What fhe forbids, I'll ftill refufe; 
 Shake off the Prejudice of Youth, 
 And fteer by Reafon's Chart for Truth. 
 
 In fpite of Wlntejield and of Rome, 
 I'll laugh at Superftition's Gloom ; 
 For Modes of Faith will ne'er difpute, 
 Nor damn a Man for his Surtout; 
 Deift or Atheift let 'em call me, 
 And with Cathedral Pellets mawl me, 
 Threaten with Brimftone, Fire and Hell, 
 My Cry is Vive la Bagatelle. 
 
 Our heav'nly Father never fram'd 
 Children elected to be damn'dj 
 
 Wou'd
 
 t 85 J 
 
 Wou'd Earthly Parent thus decree? 
 Can God? the Thought were Blafphemy; 
 But Knaves and Fools paint the Almighty 
 A Mumbo Jumbo, to affright ye. 
 
 When Nerves relax'd are weather- fhaken, 
 Spleen for Religion's oft miftaken; 
 And then 'tis heav'nly to be fad, 
 And look moft melancholy mad ; 
 Then comes Defpair with Stygian Frown, 
 Impelling Fools to hang or drown : 
 But true Religion foothes the Breaft, 
 And makes her willing Vot'ries bleft; 
 Conducts 'em with a fmiling Air, 
 And banifhes the Fiend Defpair. 
 
 Our Duty to our God we pay, 
 In being innocently gay; 
 That Kindnefs (hewing ftill to others, 
 From Brother ever due to Brothers; 
 (Grant Heaven I never may forget 
 From Man to Man that focial Debt) 
 And not to one poor Spot confine 
 Good-will, which like the Sun fhould fhine 
 On all alike; nor Difference fliew 
 'Twixt Chriftian, Pagan, Turk, or Jew; 
 For this I hold Religion's Teft, 
 " Who moft refsmbles God, worfhips God befh" 
 
 H To
 
 86 1 
 
 To Sublunary Kings Abodes, 
 How many hundred diff'rent Roads! 
 And fliall we (partial) judge, but one 
 Muft Worlds conduct to Heav'n's high Throne I 
 
 , With fweet Benevolence our Guide, 
 On future Blifs we may confide j 
 May, unabfolv'd, attend our Fate, 
 And Death's grand Summons fmiling waitj 
 On Heav'n's juft Mercy fix Reliance, 
 And fet Old Nick at bold Defiance. 
 
 
 Thi
 
 I *7 J 
 
 Tht M O N K and J E WV 
 .4 Tale. 
 
 TO make new Converts truly blerr, 
 A Recipe Probatum ejl. 
 
 Stern Winter, clad in Froft and Snow, 
 Had now forbad the Streams to flow, 
 And fkaited Peafants fwiftly glide, 
 Like Swallows, o'er the ftippery Tide; 
 When Mordecai (upon whofe Face 
 The Synagogue you plain might trace) 
 Fortune with Smiles deceitful bore, 
 To a curft Hole, but late fkinn'd o'er, 
 Down plumps the Jew, and finking founcf, 
 Tho' deep the Hole, the diftant Ground; 
 Rifing, the friendly Ice he caught, 
 Which kept him from the chilling Draught;. 
 
 He gafp'd he yell'd a hideous Cry, , 
 
 No friendly Hand, alas, was nigh, 
 
 Save a poor Monk, who quickly ran 
 
 To fnatch from Death the drowning Man,. 
 
 But when the holy Father faw, 
 
 A Limb of the Mofaic Law, 
 
 His Hand outftretch'd he quick withdrew, 
 
 w For Heav'n's Sake help" exclaims the Jew y 
 
 ** Turn Chriftian firft," the Father cries, 
 
 tfe Hm froze to Death" the Jew. replies j 
 
 H 2 " Froze !
 
 ( 88 J 
 
 " Froze ! quo' the Monk too foon you'll know, 
 " There's Fire enough for Jews below : 
 " Renounce your unbelieving Crew, 
 
 " And Help is near" " / do I do ." 
 
 " Damn all your Brethren Great and Small" 
 " With all my Heart, Oh, damn 'em all: 
 
 " Now help me out" " There's fomething more, 
 
 " Kifs this bleft Crofs, and Chxiil adore ;" 
 
 There^ there I Chrijl adore" " 'Tis well, 
 
 Thus arni'd, Defiance bid to Hell ; 
 
 " And yet another Thing remains 
 
 " To guard againft eternal Pains j 
 
 *< Do you our Papal Father hold 
 
 " Heav'n's Vicar ? Ahd believe all told 
 
 By holy Church?" " I do, by Gd, 
 
 " One Moment more I'm Food for Cod ; 
 
 " Drag, dreg me out, / freeze, / die," 
 
 " Your Peace, my Friend is made on High j 
 *'- Full Abfolution here I give; 
 
 U Saint Peter will your Soul receive : 
 
 " Wafh'd clean from Sin, and duly fhriven, 
 <c New Converts always go to Heaven } 
 " No Hour for Death fo fit as this ; 
 " Thus thas 1 launch you into Blifs ;" 
 
 So faid The Father in a Trice 
 
 His Convert launch'd beneath the lee.. 
 
 AG N E S"
 
 C 89 3 
 
 jfGNESr FAST. 
 
 A S O N G. 
 
 I. 
 
 rrpVIS Agnes' Faft: The Village Swains 
 JL And wijhing Nymphs with Cars 
 
 To fee the Semblance of their Mates, 
 To drear Church-yards repair. 
 
 IL 
 
 The whittling Wind and fleety Rain 
 
 Make terrible, the Night ; 
 And Darlcnefs with her Negroe Face v 
 
 Ev'n Pxirfons might affright. 
 
 m. 
 
 Spectres and Cacodemnns now 
 
 Rove at full Liberty ; 
 For holy Agnes' Eve and Fail,. 
 
 Is Spectres' Jubilee. 
 
 IV. 
 
 The Bell ftrilces Twelve, the Night Owl fcreams, 
 
 The fheeted Ghofts arife, 
 While Sufan (Woad'xous Force of Love!) 
 
 Straight to the Church-yard hies.. 
 
 H3 Her
 
 r 90 j 
 
 V. 
 Her Heart young Roger long pofTeft; 
 
 i>he fear'd her Mind to break 
 For Sue young R oger long had figh'd, 
 
 Yet fear'd his Love to fpeak. 
 
 VI. 
 
 " ^P'f eed J f. Hemp-feed I reap ; 
 
 Tis Agnes' juft Decree, 
 
 " Jm WhCn i Church -y ar ^ thus I fpeak, 
 My own True Love I fee." 
 
 VII. 
 Her Incantation fcarcely done, 
 
 Roger appears in View; 
 The felf-fame Errand ^ r brought, 
 
 That brought his love-lorn Sue. 
 
 VIII. 
 She fcreams, he ftarts, but files with Speed, 
 
 r cJ afp her to his Breaft ; 
 And nine Months hence, a little Hod** 
 
 Poor Sue! betrays the reft. 
 
 The
 
 E 91 3 
 
 The BEARund GARDINER. 
 A Fable. 
 
 IN the Days of Old Pilpay there flourifh'd a 
 Bear,. 
 Good-natur'd and gentle, and quite debonnair; 
 Tho* fhaggy his Form, yet his Soul was polite, 
 And to live among Men was Sir Bruin's Delight. 
 (In thofe Days, like Men, Bears cou'd reafon and 
 
 talk; 
 At prefent, like Bears, Men can growl, dance 
 
 or walk :) 
 This Bear had a Heart which to Friendfhip"} 
 
 inclin'd, I 
 
 And xnAdam he found a warm Friend to his Mind, T 
 
 Ore/ies and Pylades were not more kind : J 
 
 A Gard'ner was Adam y extremely well known, 
 For his Friendfhip with Bruin in Country and 
 
 Town ; 
 Whenever Friend Adam you faw, you might fwear 
 His four-legged Brother wou'd fhortly appear j 
 Or if good Sir Bruin you any Time fpy'd, 
 The Gardiner was always obferv'd by his Side ; 
 They fed at one Table, nay further, 'tis faid, 
 (Tho' I can't think that true) they both lay in 
 
 one Bed : 
 
 With
 
 [ 9* J 
 
 With Labour o'ercome In the Shade as one 
 
 Day 
 Poor Adam a fnoring moft happily lay, 
 Friend Bruin fat fquat on his Bum to attend him,. 
 Left during his Sleep Man or Beaft fhou'd offend 
 
 him : 
 Our Centinel had not long watch'd, when in 
 
 Scorn, 
 A monfVrous huge Flefh-Fly came founding hi s 
 
 Horn ; 
 In Circles he wing'd round poor. Adam his Flight, 
 And lur'd by fweet Vapours, he fain wou'd 
 alight ; 
 
 On Adam's moift Forehead he fettled, afl( J 
 
 then 
 
 When beat off he flew to his Forehead 
 
 again j 
 He huzz'd fo, and teaz'd fo, and ftill was fo 
 
 loud,. 
 That Bruin in Vengeance Deftruaion avow'd ; 
 And cunningly watching, he faw him aJight* 
 To feaft on the Lips of his Friend as in Spite : 
 " Oh, ho, quo' Friend Bruin, I have you, my 
 
 Dear, 
 " You foundly fhall pay, by the Lord, for 
 
 your Cheer ;" 
 And fending, full Drive, a large Stone at the Foe, 
 He cru&'d him at once with a Death-dealing 
 Blows 
 
 And
 
 E 9a } 
 
 And the very next Minute he faw the Fly dead, 
 He faw all poor Adam's Teeth drop from his Head. 
 
 Admit it as a certain Rule-, 
 Frwidjhip is dang'rous from a FooL 
 
 ' *3**Gfc 
 
 mm 
 
 LIBER-
 
 94 1 
 
 UBERTY', ADDRESS her B MT0Hfjk * 
 
 Behalf of the Corsicans, i 7 68. 
 
 TI^ITH throbbing Bofom and Woe-fpeakin 
 
 Eye, 
 On ^/Ws Sea-beat Shore, poor Liberty, 
 Her Spear thrown carclefs by her, lay reeling 
 And gave her Sorrows to the paffing Wind.-J- 
 
 * Can Britain's Sons with lukewarm Souls 
 iurvey, 
 
 Th' infiduous Gaul thus fpread his Tyrant 
 
 Sway ? . 
 
 " an J*7* unmov'd, the Carfcans behold 
 
 cc Zl T 7 ^' G0Ul ]ike Beafts ^ Burden fold; 
 rhofe Heroes who fo gloriouHy have ftood, 
 
 1 ,, ^, Caufe ,or, g Aed their richeft Blood f 
 (i T ", ^* haughty Race attempt to bind 
 
 ' in bJav ry s galhng Fetters, all Mankind ? 
 
 And lhall not my brave Sons like Brethren join 
 To fave a World, and blaft the fell Defign > 
 ^ Roufe, roufe, ye Britons, fee your Crofs difplay'd 
 
 And to my Favourites wing fraternal Aid j 
 Already have they long fuftain'd the Fight, 
 ^ And Myriad Foes repeated put to Flight, 
 But, ah! in vain Frefh Myriads onward pour * 
 it unfupported, Freedom ii no more. 
 
 Butcher 'A
 
 r 95 ] 
 
 * c Butcher'd by thefe bafe Sons of Tyranny, 
 Who, Slaves themfelves, deteft whoe'er arc 
 
 free : 
 
 <e In vain the Lion dares the Fight maintain, 
 While Myriad Foes befet the hoftile Plain. 
 
 Wou'd Britons but unflieath their conqtt'ring 
 
 Sword, 
 <c And friendly Aid in Freedom's Caufe afFord, 
 ' The Gallic Legions foon wou'd fly the Field, 
 " And to your dreaded well known Valour yield : 
 < Roufe, roufe, my Sons : But ah, I fear, 
 
 (flie faid) 
 <e The Love of Freedom from your Souls is fled : 
 
 * The Fiend, bewitching Luxury The Son 
 
 Of Slavery, whofe Magic Spells forerun 
 " His Parent's Steps, his Opiate Influence fheds, 
 ** Unnerves your Hearts, and your weak Coun- 
 
 fels leads ; 
 * 6 His foft'ning Poifon but prepares the Doom, 
 ** That bury'd in the Duft my darling Rome. 
 
 " Oh, fhou'd that fatal Hour, which now I fear, 
 * 6 (Avert it Jove Omnipotent) appear j 
 " When Tyranny mall range with Giant Stride, 
 " And Barefoot Superftition by her Side; 
 " When Smithfield Fires again fhall horrid blaze, 
 " Thofe dire Remembrancers of Afary's Days ; 
 " When my Fair Offspring Commerce mall depart, 
 *' From her lov'd Britain with a heavy Heart ; 
 
 " Shou'd
 
 [ ^ ] 
 
 Shou'd I again that fatal Moment view, 
 < To this unhappy Globe I'll bid adieu. 
 
 Like that brave Greek,* whofe ever envied 
 
 Name, 
 " Richly adorns the brighteft Page of Fame ; 
 **' Who at Thermopyla refign'd his Breath, 
 " With Hecatombs of Slaves to grace his Death \ 
 ' Like him my brave Paoli dare arife, 
 " And offer up himfel'f a Sacrifice ; 
 Like him, and the few chofen Greeks who fell, 
 " My felf-devoted Sons their Blood fhall fell, 
 " And fhew the World that Freedom they %vill 
 
 have, 
 Ev'n tho' the Road lies thro' the dreary 
 
 Grave.". . 
 
 So faid, ihe wing'd her Flight, and difappear'd, 
 And as (he flew, thefe Words diftinit were heard ; 
 " Confider, partial and miftaken Men ; 
 " Confider- -In the Cyclops horrid Den, 
 " The chofen Few (a favourite Repair) 
 " Were but preferv'd, to be devour'd the laft." 
 
 * Lea:UaS, King -of Sparta. 
 
 14 
 
 The
 
 t 97 1 
 
 
 The TRANSFORMATION, 
 A Northern Tale.* 
 
 NEAR to where Yyne his Bleflings fheds, 
 Enrich-ing, as he flows, the Meads, 
 There liv'd a Monk in Days of Yore, 
 (Northumbrian Crown when Cenulph wore) 
 Of Life fevere, and fpotlefs Fame, 
 Good Father Roger was his Name; 
 This holy Monk, much giv'n to Pray'r, 
 Was greatly follow'd by the Fair, 
 Who ftill on every flight Tranfgreflion, 
 To Roger flew to make Confeflion; 
 Ladies in ev'ry Age we find, 
 To holy Men are much inclin'd: 
 
 I A 
 
 * Ah abuuve Poem, called the Origin of thefTeiveaJiU Burr, 
 publifh'd a few Years fince, induced the Author to give the 
 following to the World: The Story is taken from an old 
 Record found in a Religious Houfe> on its Diflblution in the 
 Reign of Henry VIII. and is now in the Pofieflion of an emi- 
 nent Antiquarian not far from Ncv/cajilc.
 
 T 98 1 
 
 A truer Saint Hibernias Shore, 
 
 To grace her Annals, never bore;^ 
 
 (Hibernia! fam'd beyond the Nile? 
 
 Of Holy Saints the holy Ifle, 
 
 Nor does her prefent pious Race 
 
 Its Holy Anceftry difgrace) 
 
 Of Form athletic, yet as mild, 
 
 And harmlefs as a new-born Child: 
 
 The good Man, fomehow, had the Art, 
 
 To eafe each female tender Heart ; 
 
 Whate'er his Penance, ftill content, 
 
 They, all Submiffion, underwent. r _ 
 
 The lovely Emma, faireft feen, 
 'Mong Maids of Honor to the Queen, 
 Seem'd chief in his good Graces bleft, 
 Emma each Day her Sins confeft; 
 Each Day?" Yes, Sir, each Day; -the Fair 
 For a long Reck'ning did not care ; 
 She thought it ftill the fafeft Way, 
 As fhe went on, her Debts to pay; 
 She chofe not, like your heedlefs Folk, 
 To get o'er deep in Satan's Book, 
 Left trie black Bill fhould grow too large, 
 For a poor Maiden to difcharge, 
 And bring Old Nick, fpite of her Honor,, 
 
 To lay arrefting Hands upon her: 
 
 Your Maids of Honor in thofe Days 
 (So Legends tell us) had ftrange Ways; 
 
 They
 
 r 99 i 
 
 They put on queer religious Airs, 
 
 Frequented Church, and faid their Pray'rs j 
 
 At Ieaft old Writers thus record, 
 
 I own I fcarce can take their Word, 
 
 Confidering how politer far, 
 
 Our modern Maids of Honor are ; 
 
 But Satany that ill-natur'd Sprite, 
 
 Who owes your godly Folks a Spite, 
 
 Had manag'd Matters fo, that Emma 
 
 Was brought into a ftrange Dilemma ; 
 
 The Monk's Inftrudtions, (ftrange to tell) 
 
 Began to make the Maiden fwell j 
 
 Her Health was turn'd quite turvey-topfey, 
 
 She feem'd far gone in Nature's Dropfy. 
 
 *Tis a known Axiom in the Schools, 
 That Love's the Paradice of Fools j 
 A Paradice, rn which is plac'd 
 A Tree, bewitching to the Taire, 
 (The Tree of Knowledge) which produces- 
 A Fruit replete with poifonous Juices; 
 This tempts poor Maidens to their coftj 
 They pluck -and Paradice is Loji - 9 
 No longer Happinefs dwells there, 
 'Tis all Repentance all Defpair. 
 
 Your fage Platonijis are inclin'd 
 To think Love centers in the Mind; 
 
 I 2. But
 
 [ 100 3 
 
 But Love a different Story tells, 
 
 To Saints, to Sinners, Beaus and Belles- 
 
 Poor EmmcC* tell-tale Looks betray, 
 That Emma's form'd of yielding Clay; 
 The Queen enragM, infifts on knowing 
 To what this Grange Misfortune's owing;. 
 Whilft Emma, almoft drown'd in Tears, 
 With penitential Looks declares, 
 (The more to fix her Refolution, 
 Roger had promised Abfolution, 
 Which made her gulph the Lie. as free 
 As tho' it were a Dim of Tea) 
 " That Father Bede, who long had flrove 
 By thoufand Arts to win her Love, 
 " As on her Couch one Day me ilept, 
 Stole in, and" here, poor Soul! flie wept. 
 Nor more could fpeak! -Each Mai^ of Honor 
 Difdainfully look'd down upon her* 
 For virtuous Dames in this agree, 
 No Crime's like Lofs of Chaftity ; 
 That gone, like a ftruck Deer they fly her, 
 And think it dang'rous to come nigh her ^ 
 One would imagine they were taught, 
 That Whoring, like the Itch, was caught. 
 
 But who's this Bedt? the Reader cries, 
 " The Butt of thefe fame horrid Lies V 
 A Secular, and one of thofe 
 Whom Monks avow'd Religion's Foes ; ^
 
 I ioi J 
 
 And who, tfro' hitherto unwed, 
 Stranger to Joys of Marriage Bed, 
 Yet held it neither Sin nor Shame 
 For Priefts to take a wedded Dame; 
 While Monks, for Self-Denial fam'd, 
 Againft fuch fenfual Crimes exclaim'd ; 
 With holy Candle, Book, and Bell, 
 Damning all married Priefts to Hell ; 
 Priefts, who the Papal Power deny'd too, 
 For which Old NitA wou'd thrafh their Hide too.* 
 
 Mo' Wonder Monks fliou'd think it good 
 To fhed fo vile a Sinner's Blood ; 
 If juft the End which is defir'd, 
 No Matter, by what Means acquir'd.. 
 
 Altho' the Monks to Satan gave him,- 
 And fwore not all the Saints cou'd fave him^> 
 Yet with the Body of the Nation, 
 Bede ftood aloft in Reputation ; 
 He taught the Natives to explore 
 The Sea for Fifh, the Land for Ore; 
 'Twas he who firft the Secret found 
 Of digging Fewel from the Ground- 
 Hence Riches, Trade, and many a. Blefling 
 Their Children's Children now poflefling; 
 
 I 3 He 
 
 '* It vras not 'till fome Centuries after, that the Pope's 
 Authority was eftabliilied in England, and Celibacy in genci JT 
 tnjoia'il the Clergy.
 
 [ i<32 3 
 
 He taught them with a magic Net 
 The lufcious Salmon to bcfet, 
 With many other ufeful Arts, 
 Which juftly won the People's Hearts. 
 - 
 But all his Merit was forgot, 
 And hid by this unlucky Blot; 
 A Maid of Honor to deflower ! 
 'Twas an Affront to Sov'reign Power * 
 And Maids of Honor ne'er cou'd be 
 Secure, if Bede fhou'd go Scot-free : 
 The Queen declar'd, " She did not know 
 " How far his Impudence might go; 
 " And that (he thought 'twas monftrous hard 
 " To take a Lady off her Guard: 
 " Had (he herfelf been fleeping caught,. 
 " (She trembles at the very Thought) 
 Ev'n Majefty fhe was not fure 
 " In fuch a Cafe wou'd be fecure." 
 Thus prejudic'd, to the good King 
 She fo defcrib'd this Najiy Thing, 
 That in his Juftice he decreed, 
 The Culprit for his Crimes fhou'd bleed : 
 " What, die?" as bad may Heav'n forefend, 
 And guard us all from the like End; 
 The blufhing Mufe cannot for Shame, 
 In Words direft the Thing proclaim; 
 It was, in fine, the Punifliment 
 Heloife's Lover underwent. 
 
 Such
 
 [ 103 ] 
 
 Such was the Monarch's Refolutiony 
 The Time too fix'd for Execution, 
 The Storm was loud, the Waves ran highj. 
 The Charge direct vain all Reply. 
 
 Of Honor's Gem altho' bereft, 
 Emma had ftill fome Goodnefs left;, 
 *Tis true Logicians often paint 
 Each Woman as a Fiend or Saint; 
 Whereas a Man is a mix'd Creature,, 
 They fay, of het'rogeneous Nature: 
 But all thefe Cobweb airy Fancies 
 Are little better than Romances; 
 For Woman, like meer Man, is frill: 
 Neither completely good or ill ; 
 A Hodge-podge, Olio, a Podrade, 
 Of many various Compounds made;. 
 A Mixture form'd of cold and hot, 
 Of fweet and four in fhort what not; 
 Some ftrong Ingredient, 'tis confefr, 
 Still to the Palate gives the Zeft; 
 Yet not fo pow'rful, but we find 
 Other Ingredients are combin'd. 
 
 There is not in all Nature's Plan; 
 So ftrange a Paradox as Man ; 
 Man with himfelf eternal jars, 
 And wages barb'rous civil Wars :- 
 
 Nov?
 
 I 104 ] 
 
 Now Reafon Paflion now prefidcs, 
 Whilft difFrent Limbs take different Sides j 
 Againft the Monarch Head, we find 
 Beneath the Girdle what's confin'd, 
 In bold Rebellion often rifes, 
 And the wife Sov'reign's Pow'r defpifes;. 
 And Jmpbijbcena-Wke, *tis faid, 
 We've then at either End an Head:* 
 When that's the Cafe, we feldom know 
 To which Head we fiiould Homage fhow ;. 
 And therefore follow that of Courfe, 
 Which pulls us with the greater Force. 
 Poor Emma, when (he firft was Sinner,. 
 Had Amp.hijbcena ftruggling in her. 
 
 What's all this Preachment for? Go ore 
 And tell your Tale;" Good Sir, I've done*. 
 
 Nor Vice nor Virtue, lis moft plain. 
 Tn Emma bore defpotic Reign ; 
 At firft file put on a good Face,, 
 And told her Tale with artful Grace; 
 But Gonfciencc foon unmanner'd GueftT 
 Kick'd up a Duft within her Breaft, 
 And fiird both waking Thoughts and Dreams 
 With Brimftone, Hell, and burning Flames ; 
 
 With. 
 
 * JMftitolS is a Serpent, faidto have a Head at each End,
 
 [ 105 i 
 
 With forked Prongs, by horned Fiends 
 
 Apply'd to Sinner's hinder Ends; 
 
 (A frightful Cafe! No Lady fure- 
 
 Such Application cou'd endure) 
 
 And all that horrid Apparatus 
 
 With which fome fay, the Devil treats us. 
 
 When we to vifit him think fit, 
 
 And take up Lodgings in his Pit. 
 
 No Wonder then that Dreams like thefe 
 Shou'd pull down Madam on her Knees, 
 To count her Beads in woeful Plight, 
 And crofs herfelf from Morn to Night ; - 
 In one of thele defpairing Strains, 
 When Fear quite overfets the Brains; 
 At Midnight Hour, when Fiends prepare 
 To take a Frefco in our Air, 
 As on her Marrow-bones fhe preft, 
 Weeping and beating her white Breafr, 
 A Crow long tam'd, whofe gutt'ial Tone 
 Had oft diverted JVtll and John, 
 By Chance or Providence convey'd, 
 Had to our Madam's Chamber ftray'd, 
 Where fnug as Thief under the Bed, 
 The Bird conceal'd its Negro Head ; 
 And at the Juncture when the Dame 
 (Her Thoughts brimful of Fire and Flame) 
 Addrefs'd her Patron Saint of Wood, 
 Ou$ pops the Crow, and croaking ftood ; 
 
 ** Have
 
 -* 
 
 t 106 j 
 
 Have Mercy, Heav'n What's this I view, 
 
 " 'Tis Satan's felt 'tis Satan's Hue! 
 
 " Guard me from Pitchforks and from Hell:** 
 
 Croak, quo' the Crow fhe fcream'd fhe fell t 
 
 The Servants fly, and on the Ground, 
 Speechlefs the frighted Fair was found; 
 Reviv'd, fhe raves " Protecl and fave me m 
 " Let not yon ugly Satan have me; 
 u His faucer Eyes and frightful Tone" 
 Another Croak and down fhe's gone. 
 The Servants fee the droll Miftake, 
 And quick to Life their Lady wake: 
 She ftraightway calls out for a Prieft,. 
 To whom her Sins are foon confeft : 
 On Roger's Wiles fhe throws the Blame 
 Of all her Crimes and all her Shame v 
 And hopes it is not yet too late 
 To hinder Bede's unhappy Fate. 
 
 The Queen of this great Change inform'cF, 
 Againft the Monk now loudly ftorm'd; 
 The King in Juftice too decreed, 
 That Bede fhou'd inftantly be freed j 
 And that the .Compliment defign'd 
 For Him, to Roger be aflign'd. - 
 
 No fooner order'd than 'twas done, 
 -And whip his Sanflity is gone j 
 
 Foj
 
 r io 7 1 
 
 For after being Abelarded, 
 
 And from the Court with Shame difcarded, 
 
 His Crime appear'd fo very black, 
 
 Each Female Friend now turn'd her Back; 
 
 For from a Confeflbr difleted, 
 
 No Comfort fure can be expected. 
 
 When Birds fly, or when VefTels fail, 
 They're always guided from the Tail, 
 And Cafuifts fay, this is the Cafe 
 In gen'ral, with the human Race : 
 The Rudder loft, what follows then ?- 
 Ruin: to Ships, to Birds, and Men. 
 
 And now, no longer Fortune's Sport, 
 In Triumph Bede was brought to Court, 
 Where having humbly on his Knee 
 Due Homage paid to Majefty, 
 He then, in Gratitude as bound, 
 To Heav'n fell proftrate on the Ground, 
 That gracioufly had heard his Pray'rs, 
 And refcu'd him from monkifh Snares ; 
 Nor was his croaking Friend forgot, 
 A leading A&or in the Plot, 
 Who, at her Majefty 's Requeft, 
 Shew'd its fine Shapes among the reft: 
 <c May Heav'n's beft Benifon," he cries, 
 (With Tears of Raptures in his Eyes) 
 
 " For
 
 r is i 
 
 w For ever and for ever fall 
 
 >On King, Queen, Emma, Crow and all.** 
 
 So faid; when Wonderful but hold, 
 
 'Twere neceffary you were told, 
 That in the Records of that Age, 
 Miracles crowd in ev'ry Page; 
 Tho' now-a-days, I know not why, 
 
 Nor Miracles or Saints we fpy; 
 
 In fhort a Miracle uncommon 
 
 Up ftarts the Crow a lovely Woman;' 
 
 Young, blooming, handfome, debonnair, 
 
 And what's ftill ftranger, wond'rous Fair, 
 
 To pleafe Pygmalion, as 'tis faid, 
 
 A Marble melted to a Maid; 
 
 And furely, if a Heathen cou'd 
 
 Infpire a Stone with Flefti and Blood, 
 
 We need fliew little Admiration, 
 
 At Madam Croaker's Transformation. 
 
 With Wonder ftruck, while all around ^ 
 In Silence gaz'd, a Voice profound, > 
 
 Melodious as a Seraph Sound, J 
 
 Was heard :- 
 
 Accept, O Bede, the Gift Heav'n fends, 
 The beft of Wives, and beft of Friends ; 
 Of ev'ry female Charm pofieft, 
 With ev'ry focial Virtue bleft : 
 Nor yet defpife her for her Birth, 
 What are ve all but Sons of Earth ? 
 
 7 That
 
 [ 109 ] 
 
 * That Origin cannot be mean, 
 
 < Where Heav'n's Immediate Hand is feen; 
 
 " "And that the Miracle here mown, 
 
 < To future Times be handed down, 
 
 *' A lafting Monument of Favor, 
 
 '* Your Offspring to diftinguifh ever, 
 
 " A Spice of Mother's gutt'ral Tone, 
 
 '* To Time's remoteft Ages known 
 
 ' By Name of Burr 'fhall mark their Tongue, 
 
 " And proudly trumpet whence they fprung j 
 
 *' A rough, bold Accent, free from Art, 
 
 True Emblem of an hone/? Hearty 
 
 " A Mark by which Mankind fhall trace 
 
 " Your num'rous, warlike, envied Race ; 
 
 Whofe Deeds, not Words, their Fame fhali 
 
 " fpread, 
 " And Britain's Foes their Valour dread." 
 
 The Prieft with Rapture Heav'n obey'd, 
 And wed the lovely, new-form'd Maid; 
 The Monarch too, gen'rous and kind, 
 To Bede and to his Heirs confign'd 
 That fertile Track which Tyne furveys, 
 As his broad Stream he proud difplays; 
 Where Riches flow with every Tide, 
 
 And Trade and Liberty prefide : 
 
 Ksre firft he plann'd that kind Retreat, 
 (At prefent Induftry's lov'd Seat) 
 Yclep'd Newcajlle j where the Prieft 
 To an old Age liv'd highly bteft 
 
 K With
 
 I II ] 
 
 With his Fair Spoufe: And 'tis agreed 
 She brought the Parfon fuch a Breed 
 (Parfons, we know, are in their Natures 
 Beyond moft Men, prolific Creatures) 
 
 Of little Btdes, that all around 
 
 The Parfon's Prowefs did refound. 
 
 'Tis thought this fame prolific Power 
 Remains among them to this Hour; 
 A num'rous Race; who ftill inherit 
 Their Mother's Burr, and Father's Merit $ 
 And which diftinguifhes the Breed 
 Of Mother Crow and Father Bede.* 
 
 * The BeJe mentioned in the above is not the fame 
 with the Venerable Btde, who Hv'd rather earlier than the 
 Hero of our Talc* 
 
 
 On.
 
 [ III J 
 
 On bearing that Mrs M , ofiht Y * 
 Theatre, was dead. 
 
 TO fhew th' admiring World what PowV 
 divine, 
 When Mufic, Beauty, Feeling, all combine, 
 Cecilia from the Star-pav'd Realms above, 
 In M- 's Form infpir'd Mankind with Lovej 
 Alas! her Stay how fhort! Th' angelic Choir, 
 Ardent, Cecilia's wifh'd Return dcflre : 
 The Saint the heav'nly Mandate ftraight obeys, 
 And, fmiling, Heav'n regain'd, to fing Jehovah's 
 Praife. 
 
 On hearing the above contradicled. 
 
 I 
 
 N Mercy to Mankind, relenting Heav'n 
 
 Cecilia to our Pray'rs has longer giv'n ; 
 Death aim'd the Stroke, but quickly dropt the 
 
 Dart, . , 
 
 And Pity, for the firft Time, touch'd his Heart. 
 
 K 3 From
 
 Wrm a y>ung SAILOR** the fame Lady. 
 
 -* -yr -rQ U *D fmiling Lwe propitious trim 
 
 VV my Sails, 
 And Fortune blefs me with her favourite Gales, 
 No greater Blifs cou'd my fmall Bark betide, 
 Than fafe from Storms in P t-M to ride. 
 
 WIT and RICH E S. 
 
 THE Man who Store of Wealth can boaft, 
 In Wit will ever rule the Roaft ; 
 His Claim who dares difpute? 
 
 Plutus can purchafe Wit, 'tis true; 
 Can Phcebui purchafe Riches too? 
 Truth blufhes, and is mutt* 
 
 
 ft
 
 C ii-3 J 
 The TWO PAPER KITES. 
 
 A F A B L E- 
 
 (jfddrejfed to a young Gentleman at School. ) 
 
 TWO Paper Kites, ballanc'd'on high, 
 With flaming Lanthorns grac'd the Sky, 
 While Crowds below admire the Glare, 
 And think each Light a blazing Star : 
 Cries one of thefe Night Birds, with Pride;- 
 (The other flutt'ring by his Side) 
 " Left to ourfelves, Brother, we might 
 " Above thefe Regions wing our. Flight, 
 " Spurn thefe poor Earth-encircling Skies y 
 " And to the Lunar World uprife ; 
 " Like Comets fhine in. yonder Sphere,. 
 " And fee what Folks were doing there;; 
 " But thefe curfi Cords,, by which we're 
 
 ** bound, 
 " Genius and Worth like ours confound: 
 " One Struggle, fpirited, might free,. 
 '* And give us both our Liberty; 
 " Uncurb'd we fafely then might rove, 
 "And laugh at. Earth- Worms from above." 
 
 * Hold, not fo faft," replies the other, 
 " Think, think a little, my good Brother; 
 " To thefe Reftraints you fo defpife, 
 " We owe the very Power to rife : 
 
 K 3 "Without:
 
 [ U4 ] 
 
 Without their Help we might remain 
 Unnotic'd Nothings on the Plain ; 
 Or worfe on furious Tempefts born, 
 We fhould be hurried, dafh'd, and torn : 
 Tho' Paper Kites were made to fly, 
 Cords were defign'd to hold them by, 
 And thofe by whom we're guided know 
 How far with Safety we may go ; 
 Ballanc'd by them we thus afpire, 
 While wond'ring Crowds our Blaze admire.'* 
 
 The felf-fufficient Kite with Sneer, 
 Laugh'd at this over-cautious Fear, 
 When a brifk Gale that Inftant rifing, 
 His Friend's Intreaties too defpifing, 
 With one fmart Jerk his Hold he broke, 
 And flew before the Wind like Smoak; 
 Now here now there hurried and toft, 
 He falls to Earth, torn, dafh'd, and loft; 
 While his more wife and happy Friend, 
 A difF'rent Praife and Fate attend ; 
 By Prudence held, fecure he flies, 
 A Meteor to admiring Eyes. 
 
 If, Marcus, you confider right, 
 You're little better than a Kite; 
 Quite volatile, and by the bye, 
 A ftiandy Tenant of the Sky ; 
 And all the Excellence you fhow, 
 To Lucius' prudent Care you owe. 
 
 Shou'd
 
 [ "5 3 
 
 Shou'd you your Tutor's Guidance fcorn, 
 By Paflion's furious Tempeft born, 
 Hurry'd and loft on Folly's Shore, 
 You'll fall alas! to rife no more:' 
 But guided by his fkilful Hand, 
 You'll foar,- an Honour to the Land;. 
 Beam Bleflings from your highborn Station,. 
 And fhine the Star of an applauding Nation. 
 
 iorfT 
 
 wort 
 
 taH 
 
 i>H 
 
 x&x&x&x 
 
 X X&X3SCX X 
 X Xg?< <x 
 
 at :: K 
 
 X 
 
 :ri' LflA 
 
 Written
 
 D 
 
 [ 116 1 
 
 Written on the Grave of a very beautiful Lavy^ 
 who died of the Small-Pox.* 
 
 EEPLY interr'd beneath this Sod is 
 , A Piece of Dirt, once call'd a Goddefs ; 
 Cou'd you the Goddefs now fiirvey, 
 You'cT turn difguftfully away : 
 Here Putref anion's Brood appears, 
 And the proud Maggot domineers; 
 Thofe Eyes, than Pbabut Beams more bright, 
 Now darker than the darkeft Night ; 
 
 Her Lips, her Neck, her Breafts alas! 
 
 Her ^1 one foul and putrid Mafs. 
 
 How near to Beauty's 'witching Pride 
 Is foul Deformity ally'd ! 
 From Putref anion's fertile Bed 
 The Rofe uprears his fragrant Head; 
 From the fame foetid Dunghill too, 
 The ftinking Henbane ftarts to view; 
 All earthly Things beneath the Skies, 
 From Putrefaction's Source arife ; 
 A while they flourifh and are vain,. 
 And then to Dirt revert again : 
 
 What Changes Nature's Monades wear! 
 Now Fair is Foul now Foul is Fair : 
 
 See Pag* 47-
 
 The Putrefaction of a Clown 
 May rife again, and wear a Crown; 
 And He who Millions now commands, 
 May " Whijlle o'er the furrow' d Lands. 
 
 Ye Mortal Goddejef, be wife, 
 Beauty juft fhews itfelf and dies j. 
 Hither, O hither come and fee 
 What every Goddefs foon muft be. 
 
 
 Thoughts
 
 [ II* ] 
 
 Thoughts on reading txvo Modern Celebrated 
 Novels. 
 
 COU'D we in fpite of Heav'n and Fate, 
 Our Paflions quite eradicate; 
 The Fountain then were ftopp'd, from whence 
 Virtue and Vice their Streams difpenfe. 
 
 Never was Picture yet pourtray'd, 
 Without a blended Light and Shade ; 
 And where the Outline's but expreft, 
 'Tis a meer lifelefs Piece at beft. 
 
 Body and Soul united flill 
 Are neither perfect Good or 111 ; 
 Then let us view with pitying Eye*. 
 Shades which from Imperfection rife j 
 On our own Paflions keep ftri& Guard, 
 Nor flack too much, nor pull too hard ; 
 Secure, we thus Life's Courfe may take, 
 Ev'n tho' a Trip we fometimes make. 
 
 From the fame Heav'n-implanted Root, 
 Both Good and Evil jointly fhoot ; 
 Thus on Caffivas Tree, we know, 
 Both Nourifhment and Poifon grow. 
 
 Well fare thofe Souls fo wond'rous pure, 
 That human Frailties can't endures 
 
 Such
 
 T "9 1 
 
 Such Beings were by Heav'n defign'd 
 For other Planets more refin'd; 
 But having mifs'd their deftin'd Road, 
 Were forc'd on Earth to make abode. 
 
 A Sophy for this World was made; 
 A lhadelefs Harkwe hither ftray'd. 
 
 
 x 
 
 C L E-
 
 B 
 
 [ 120 ] 
 
 C L E O R A. 
 
 ID all Mankind bow to One fovereign Lord, 
 And never more unfheathe the vengeful 
 Sword; 
 On Greenland's Coaft bid Indian Spices bloom, 
 The Owl confront the Sun with Eagle Plume; 
 Bid yonder floating Sea, aloft in Air^ 
 Higher uprife, and fkim the Lunar Sphere; 
 Bid Time, at thy Command, obedient ftay, 
 Count all thofe Motes, that in the Sun-Beams 
 
 play ; 
 With eager Hafte the fading Rainbow feize, 
 Or with your Finger flop the Tide-fwoln Seas: 
 Wild with Defire, a motley Cloud embrace, 
 And ftamp it with a numerous living Race;* 
 Bid the Jaunch'd Thunder like an Earth-worm 
 
 creep, 
 Or drag reflected Dian from the Deep: 
 All this you fooner may effecl:, than find 
 The Meteor Changes of Cleora's Mind: 
 Tir'd with my Search, the Bubble I give o'er, 
 
 Yet wifh 
 
 Again to dream on Hope's delufive Shore. 
 
 An Allufion to Men's Amour with a Cloud. 
 
 The
 
 i "I 3 
 
 The MOCK HERO. 
 
 WHILE Seniftno with theatric Gait, 
 Afiumes great Ctefar's Dignity and 
 State ; 
 tl Cezfar ne'er knows what 'tis to fear," he 
 
 cries : 
 
 No fooner fpoke, than ftraightway from the 
 
 Flies, 
 A Clump of dangerous Weight comes thun- 
 dering down, 
 Threat'ning Deftrution to the Heroe's Crown; 
 Th' unnerved Cafar trembling ftraight appears, 
 He faulters, ftammers, and diflbives in Tears: 
 Learn, Britons, hence, ne'er to ami me a Part, 
 That Nature cries- Is foreign to the Heart. 
 
 
 The
 
 t 122 ] 
 
 ^DEVIL DISAPPOINTED, 
 1746. 
 
 WHEN Satan firft heard of the Popifh 
 Invafion, 
 And Pricftcraft and Slavery threat'ned the Nation, 
 He order'd. Ignatius and Lewis le Grand, 
 With Bonner and Peters to wait his Command : 
 They, cringing and licking his Hoofs, foon appear, 
 While Nick fmiling ghaftly, cries out with a 
 
 Sneer, 
 " Here, Scoundrels., here's News will make you 
 
 '* look gay, 
 44 All Europe muft fhortly acknowledge my Sway j 
 44 Young Charley bUls fair for the Throne of 
 
 " Great- Britain, 
 44 Which if he but once has the Fortune to fit on, 
 4C From thefe darkfome Regions below I'll remove, 
 4C And jointly with him rule Old England above; 
 ** From Whipping and Flogging a while I rc- 
 
 44 leafe ye, 
 " Andwrrat,Iamcertain,ftillbetter will pleafe ye, 
 44 With Heretick Blood you may now ftuff and 
 
 " g'ge, 
 " Drink Popery's Health, and Confufion to 
 
 44 George: 
 44 Rantum Scantum, ye Dogs, away and rejoice, 
 44 And make Hell refound with your Hollowing 
 
 " and Noife :" 
 
 Soon
 
 r "3 j 
 
 Soon faid and foon done: Away they are flown, 
 And the News thro' all Hell in a Moment is 
 
 known ; 
 On which, fuch Arrange Rackets and Shoutings 
 
 did follow, 
 The Devil himfelf could fcarce hear his own 
 
 Holloo : 
 
 Popes, Pickpockets, Jefuits, bald -pated Friars, 
 Whores, Cardinals, Highwaymen, Abbots, and 
 
 Liars, 
 Commix'd fans DiftincTion, all bcllow'd their 
 
 Zeal 
 For Gejrge'sOonfufion, and Hell's Common-weal. 
 Some Weeks thus elaps'd, when a Courier came 
 
 quick, 
 By the Soul of a Jefuit- (Poft) to Old Nicti 
 To the Prefence when brought, he was order'd 
 
 to tell 
 All he knew 'till his happy Admifton in Hell : 
 " What News his good Viceroy, the Pope, had 
 
 " fent greeting, 
 " With whom in a fhort Time he hop'd for a 
 
 " Meeting : 
 4i Tho' Lying of all Things his Highnefs admir'd, 
 tl The Truth,, and Nought elfe, at this Time he. 
 
 " requir'd." 
 The Jefuit on this moft fubmiffively fhew'd, 
 That (peaking the Truth was quite out of his Road ; 
 L 2 jMr*I But
 
 [ 1*4 3 
 
 But to p!eafc his black Highnefs for once he 
 
 wou'd try, 
 To tell what had happen'd without the leaft Lie : 
 With Charles's Landing at Skie he began, 
 Told Edins* Surrender, and fam'd Pre/ion-Pan: 
 On taking Carlijle and the Lancajhire Rout, 
 Nick chuckled for Joy, and Hell fet up a Shout : 
 But foon as Prince PVilliam was nam'd, our 
 
 young Mars, 
 Their Horns were drawn in, and each Fiend 
 
 hung an A-fe : 
 
 M That ill-boding Name," cries Old Nick, in a 
 
 Fright, 
 ** Brings frefh to my Mind that damn'd Year 
 
 " Eighty- Eight :" 
 But, Lord! when he'd heard what ftrange Work 
 
 had been brewing, 
 How all their wife Schemes had brought on their 
 
 own Ruin j 
 How William had conquer'd, and Charley had fled, 
 Poor Devil ! he chang'd to the Colour of Lead: 
 He blafphem'd, and damning the Tongue that 
 
 had told him, 
 Flew raging about fo, that Hell cou'd fcarce 
 
 hold him ; 
 While all his Toad-eating and Hoof-licking Crew, 
 Like Sheep-Biters fneaking, to Corners withdrew: 
 
 Are 
 
 ic 
 
 Edina; EAinlurgh fo called.
 
 [ 1*5 3 
 
 ** Are all my great Hopes," roars Old'Belzj r 
 
 " blown over? 
 ** Deftroy'd by this Heretic Houfe of Hanover ? 
 " Shall Pop'ry and Slav'ry no more rear their 
 
 " Head, 
 " And over Old England my Influence fpread ? 
 " No more like myfelf Papal Bulls roar aloud ?* 
 " Nor Jefuits, like Mountebanks,, play on the 
 
 Crowd ? 
 " Shall Smithfield Burnt-OfFrings no more {hew 
 
 ** my Sway, 
 " Nor Britons to Power defpotic give Way? 
 ** In fpite of my Arts,, and my beft Ally France, 
 ** Shall Freedom and Trade Hill in England 
 
 ** advance ? 
 '* Religion ftill flourifti, and over the Main, 
 * With Glory unmatch'd, Britijh Navies itill 
 
 reign?' 
 " Shall Brunfoick, whom next to my Maker I 
 
 " hate, 
 " Still govern Mankind, and my Projects defeat ? 
 " Zoons, Brimftone and Fury! I vow and de- 
 
 " clas-e it, 
 " Flefh and Blood, nay the Devil himfc'f can- 
 
 " not bear it." 
 So faying, half-fpent, to his Dungeon he crept, 
 <ot drunk with French brandy.; belch'd, f-n-d ; 
 
 and flept. 
 
 h 3 She
 
 [ 126 j 
 
 The PATRIOTS. 
 
 1N r fcirenteen Hundred Forty-five,. 
 When black Rebellion was alive 
 And with a Giant Stride came forth, 
 From her bleak Den, the ftormy North j 
 JW, who by Creditors unkind, 
 Mad long hi p r if cn been confin'd, 
 As at the Window Bars he ftood, 
 To take the Air hi thoughtful Mood, 
 Who fliou'd pafs by in martial Geer, 
 But fwagg'ring Tom the Grenadier: 
 " Hollo! now Thomas What's the Crack?'* 
 Cries Tbcma:-" Bad enough, Friend Jack: 
 
 <c 3'^** hlm! )*h Young Pretender 
 
 Bids jair to be cur Faith's Defender; 
 And that the Rebels have great Hope, 
 To bring in Charley and the Pope." 
 Quo* Jack, with lengthens, rueful Face, 
 
 Good Heav'n forbid :-Jf that's the Cafe, 
 t Uur Llber tV ^ gone, zn& we 
 " Mull, Frenchmen-Uke, bear Slavery " 
 
 .! Zi Li r e 7^ CneS T * "Wjswrfe, 
 A thcufand Times a greater Curfe; 
 // the Pretender mrunts the Throne, 
 Bamme-.Qur dear Religion's gone." 
 
 i Thus
 
 [ I2 7 ] 
 
 Thus Jack in Jail exclaims and feara 
 Freedom will be abolifh'd; 
 "While fwagg'ring Tarn, Soldier-like, fwearsy 
 The Church will be demolifli'd. 
 
 
 CHJR-
 
 T 128 3 
 
 CHARTRES's APOTHEOSIS. 
 
 \\T HEN Chartres, his Corpfe not yet cold, 
 t Z was to Hel ' come, 
 
 With a Sneer, cries Old Nick, My dear Bro- 
 ther! you're welcome; 
 'Mongft the damn'deft of damnable Fools fee 
 
 " him taten, 
 " Let his Cell be well heated, and finge his old 
 
 " Bacon :" 
 " 'Mongft Fools!" quite furpriz'd, cries the 
 
 gnm-Iooking Elf, 
 * Your Highnefs miftakes; I'm a Rogue like 
 
 " yourfelf." 
 u To my Coft I have found," replies NicL 'tis 
 
 "a Rule,. 
 S Tho' Fools may'nt be Rogues, ytteacbRogue^ 
 " a damn'd F.00L" 
 
 -^^ 
 
 ^c^ 
 
 B U T.
 
 [ "9 J 
 
 B U T. 
 
 A Fable. 
 
 "pNVYy a Speclre, frightful, thin, 
 
 The Darling Progeny of Sin; 
 (Her Sire, as ancient Poets tel), 
 The Ioweft, meaneft Fiend of Hell;) 
 A bleer-ey'd Hagg, whofe only Food 
 Is human Hearts and human Blood; 
 And in her Mouth, inftead of Tongue, 
 Ten Thoufand poifon'd Arrows hung r 
 Long had this peftilential Foe 
 Peopled King Satan's Realms below, 
 When his black Highnefs, as in Duty 
 Bound to her Goodnefs and her Beauty, 
 Pour'd Favours multiplied upon her, 
 Made her a Maid, or Hagg of Honour; 
 And order'd Pride, his King at Arms, 
 (No Stranger to Mils Envy's Charms) 
 To make her out an Anceftry, 
 Long as a lydjhman's Pedigree; 
 And fpite of Truth and Virtue prove, 
 
 If poflible, (he fprung from Jove. 
 
 This, Herald-like, Pride foon efFe&ed, 
 Nor was her Coat of Arms negle&ed: 
 The Shield was fable; the Device, 
 Three Toads, two Snakes, and twenty Licej 
 
 Three
 
 r r 3 o ] 
 
 Three Vipers gnawing at a Breaft, 
 
 Serv'd Madam Envy for her Creft ; 
 
 In fhort, the Blaze and the whole Coat, 
 
 The Fair One's mighty Worth denote : 
 
 The Fair One! Let not that perplex, 
 
 Females are all of the Fair Sex ; 
 
 And be they olive, dingy, brown, 
 
 They're Fair Ones call'd throughout the Town. 
 
 The Arms made out, fome fmall Difpute 
 Arofe, What Motto beft wou'd fuit ; 
 Cries Envy, grinning out a Smile, 
 Which fpoke her Spleen, and eke her Guile r 
 " My Motto, Good Friend Pride, matt be 
 * Three fav'rite Letters, B, U, T. - 
 " By Hell and all the Fiends below, 
 " To But, that Syllable, I owe 
 M More helJilh Joys nay flare not, Pride % 
 " Than to all other Words be fide; 
 " Search the whole Dictionary round, 
 " No Word fo envious can be found ; 
 M Aided by But, I dare commend, 
 " And flab beneath the Vail of Friend : 
 ' With Praife, Sufpicion I difarm, 
 " And then comes $ut with hellifh Charm, 
 " And rankles in the inmoft Cote, 
 " Pois'ning the Praife was giv'n before; 
 " Thus Poifon's beft in Sweets conceal'd, 
 " Thus FaHhood's hid beneath Truth's Shield. 
 
 "No
 
 C 131 1 
 
 No Word like But my Spite conveys, 
 / be my Motto But my Praife." 
 
 Dear , my beft, my worthieft Friend, 
 
 To you I dedicate this Fable; 
 Goodnefs like yours it can't offend, 
 Your Hearts fo very veritable. 
 
 
 The
 
 [ *3* ] 
 
 The TWIN-SISTERS. 
 
 I. 
 
 FAIR ChaJ}ity> of Lilly Hue, 
 And Modejly like bJufliing Rofe, 
 New-blown and fteep'd in Morning Dew, 
 In Clara happily repofe. 
 
 II. 
 
 All-graceful, o'er the Fair One's Cheeks, 
 The Emblem Lilly fhines reveal'd, 
 
 While Modefty Retirement feeks 
 In Beds of Rofes deep conceal'd. 
 
 III. 
 
 With brazen Front loud Impudence^ 
 (Of empty Noife and Folly fprun-g) 
 
 From his foul Battery of Offence, 
 Planted on Wit-wou'd's coward Tongue 
 
 IV. 
 
 Attacks fair Chcjlity^ in Phrafe 
 Thro* which the Coxcomb fully glares} 
 
 Such Phrafe the Coward Soul betrays, 
 When aim'd at helplefs Maidens' Ears. 
 
 Poor
 
 I 133 3 
 
 V. 
 
 iPoor Chajilty alarm'd, for Ai3 
 
 Straight calls upon her Twin-born Friend} 
 With rofy Eniigns quick difplay'd, 
 
 Her Sifter's blufhing Powers attend. 
 
 VI. 
 
 United, they confound the Foe; 
 
 They come, they fee, they overcome:* 
 They hurl, like Lightning, overthrow, 
 
 And ftrike (Amazement!) Wit wou'd dumb. 
 
 VII. 
 In Chains their Captive they confine, 
 
 And to th' applauding World proclaim, 
 The rude Invader they confign 
 
 To the opprobrious Cave of Shame. 
 
 * Alluding to Ctfar\ Vcnl, VUi, Vici, 
 
 
 M The
 
 [ 134 1 
 
 The MILL. 
 A Tale. 
 
 BENEATH a Court's luxuriant Skies, 
 Plant Honefly*, it fades and dies : 
 Such tender Plants expire of Courfe, 
 
 Oppos'd to Influenzas Force 
 
 That Court Difeafe, who from her Wings 
 
 A thoufand magic Poifons flings : 
 
 Nor in the Church's ample Sphere 
 
 Does Honejly much better fare; 
 
 Nor in the Law's capacious Round 
 
 Is the rich Bloflbm often found ; 
 
 Thefe Truths from others I relate, 
 
 Nor Court, Church, Law has been my Fate. 
 
 The Tenants to Sir 'John complain, 
 The Miller purloins half their Grain :" 
 What can be done ? On all his Ground, 
 This Mill, and only this, is found j 
 With Shame the Pilferer's difgrac'd, 
 And in his Room another plac'd, 
 Of Fame unftain'd ; by all agreed 
 A Man right worthy to fucceed. 
 
 Tempta- 
 * A Flower not uncommon in Englifh Gardens.
 
 [ ?fc J 
 
 Temptations numberlefs affail ; 
 This Miller, like the laft, proves frail j 
 Again the Tenants beg Relief, 
 Sir yokn's convinc'd that he's a Thief:- 
 In Truth, my Friends, I've been deceiv'd", 
 " No Man more honeft I believ'd ; 
 " A Miller chufe yourfelves," he cry'd, 
 " On whom we all may fafe confide ; 
 " But firfr. his Merits clofely fcan, 
 " To me 'tis equal who's the Man." 
 
 After much tedious Altercation, 
 They come to a Determination ; 
 A Miller's fix'd on; one whofe Name 
 Challenge the loudeft Blaft of Fame; 
 The Tenants all in this agree, 
 " If there's an honeft Man 'tis He." 
 
 For fome Time no Complaint was heard,. 
 A Month, or longer, 'tis averr'd ; 
 At length alas-- -too true, tho' ftrange, 
 This Paragon began to change ; 
 Sufpicion, as if half afraid, 
 In doubtful Grumblings Hints convey'd; 
 Thefe Grumblings every Day increafr, 
 'Till all the Miller glares confeft : 
 
 " The Toll too large Their Corn when 
 
 " ground, 
 ," Was, on Return, nor fair or found; 
 
 M 2 " Their
 
 r 136 3 
 
 " Their Flour all mix'd, fcarce Half their Due: 
 *' The greatejl Rogue they ever knew." 
 
 Once more to good Sir John they fly: 
 Sir John foon makes 'em this Reply. 
 
 c< No farther Change I'll now admit, 
 " To your own Choice you muit fubmit; 
 " The Miller whom you thus upbraid, 
 " Was honeft 'till a Miller made; 
 " And honeft had continued ftill, 
 " But for the Air of that damn'd Mill: 
 " At that alone your Vengeance aim ; 
 * The Mill and not the Man's to blame."" 
 
 Learn, Reader, from this little Tale, 
 That ev'n the bejl of Men are frail], 
 And where- curjl Influenzal found) 
 Millers zuill evermore abound, 
 
 & 
 
 m
 
 C '37 1 
 
 The CRITIC ^ B A R IX 
 A Fable. 
 
 AC R I TIC with a Phiz fevere,. 
 The Quinteffence of Cynic Sneeiv 
 
 Who ftill put on the Very Wife, 
 
 A Cuckow in an Owl's Difguife; 
 To while away his vacant Time,. 
 Chanc'd to take up a Book of Rhyme; 
 Whether the Work of Dryden, Gay, 
 Or Pope, we can't exactly, fay: 
 He reads, he fneers, he drops the Book, 
 And with a felf-fufficient Look 
 
 Thus cries "Good Heav'ns! what Stun? 
 
 " is here.?- 
 <c Such Nonfenfe Fools alone can bear ;~ 
 " Your Poets make, their Meadows laugh, 
 *' Their Spears and Swords the Life-Blood quaff; 
 " The M'ning Moon ftoop from her Sphere, 
 * Some Lover's Madrigals- to hear-; 
 < While Sylphs and Fairies which ftill worfe is y 
 *' (Fit Entertainment for old Nurfes) 
 w Fill idle Brains with foolifh Fancies, 
 " Ev'n worfe than N-b's damn'd Romances 5 
 " Ona common Sentiment in Profe^ 
 
 " Is worth a, thoufond Books like thofe." 
 
 
 
 He fpokej and to his great Surprize,, 
 The Poet's Shade confronts his Eyes : 
 
 M 2; " Shalt'
 
 [ 138 1 
 
 " Shall grovelling Pedants Rules impofe, 
 " And judge of Song by Laws of Profe, 
 " (Exclaims the Bard) ? Shall Clods afpire, 
 
 " Eyelefs, to guide bright Sons of Fire ? 
 
 " As well might Owls thro' Blaze of Noon, 
 
 " Guide Jove's own Bird to hail the Sun: 
 
 " The Plaftic Sifters can with Eafe 
 
 " Infpire, create, whene'er they pleafe; 
 
 With Life can Fields, Trees, Floods endue, 
 
 " Ev*n all Things fave fuch Clods as you. 
 
 " The Mufes* Temple, high in Air, 
 " Was never form'd by Rule or Square j 
 " Infpired by the Genial Nine, 
 *' Wild Fancy drew the Plan Divine ; 
 *' And while they fung their heav'nly Strain-,, 
 " To Mufic rofe the magic Fane. 
 
 " Be humble, Wretch, thy Spleen controul, 
 " For know you're but a Critic Mole ; 
 " And Moles, when Phoebus fhines moft bright, 
 ' c Are bury'd in the darkcft Night." 
 
 So faid, the Bard, frowning Difdain,, 
 Re-melted into Air again : 
 Th' unfeeling Critic, undifmay'd, 
 Scarce underftood one Word was faid j 
 But like his Brethren of all Four,. 
 Thought on as he had thought before* 
 
 On
 
 C 139 1 
 
 On being ajked by Mifs -to write a RIDDLE, 
 
 J. 
 
 WHAT is that Thing which Man deflres, 
 Inform me, Ladies, if you can ? 
 That pleafes moil, yet fooneft tires, 
 
 The Comfort and the Plague of Man?" 
 
 II- 
 
 That Paradox, which Mortals find 
 Sometimes a Truth, oftner a Fi&ion,, 
 
 By fage Logicians defin'd, 
 
 An Axiom, yet a Contradiction . 
 
 III. 
 
 To this fame Being (ftrange! tho* true) 
 
 We owe our very Prefervation ;, 
 And in fome Meafure's likewife due, 
 
 Our Health, our Wealth, nay our Creation, 
 
 IV, 
 
 The Phantom we approach with Feary 
 Yet carelefs when the Prize is got; 
 
 Like Hamlet's Ghoft, 'tis here 'tis there 
 We have it, and we have it not. 
 
 To
 
 I HO I 
 
 V. 
 
 To play on better than Bafloon, 
 
 Than Hautboy, Harpfichord, or Fiddle; 
 
 Yet often harfh and out of Tune; 
 
 What's the ftrangeName of this ftrange Riddle? 
 
 Cloe enquiring what this Riddle was, 
 X led the fmiling Fair One to a Glafs.. 
 
 
 n*
 
 [ r4i '. 3 
 
 The SPLEEN. 
 
 I. 
 
 AS K Plumbo, what's the dreadful Caufe^ 
 That he's fo gloomy feen, 
 Plumbo brings out with labour'd Paufe^ 
 He's tortur'd with the Spleen. 
 
 II. 
 
 But Dulnefs and the Spleen, my Friend, 
 
 In Nature differ wide ; 
 Dulnefs and Folly kindred blend, 
 
 While Wit to Spleen's ally'd.. 
 
 III. 
 
 The Man who with the Spleen's pofTerr^, 
 
 Is like an April Day ; 
 This Hour by mirky Clouds oppreft,, 
 
 The next ferenely gay. 
 
 IV. 
 Not fo the Man, within whofe Skull* 
 
 Dtrlnefs bears foveriegn Rule j 
 Like a November Day he's dull, 
 
 A femper idem Fool, 
 
 RIGHT-
 
 r H2 j 
 
 RIGHT-HAND and LEFT. 
 
 A F A B L *. 
 
 THE Right-Han J, 'twas but t'other Day, 
 Thus to the Left was heard to fav : 
 If fome Folks knew themfelves, 'twere well, 
 Give 'em an Inch, they'll take an Ell ; 
 'Twou'd be with Manners more confiftent, 
 If, Sir, you kept a little diftant j 
 Tho' now and then I condefcend 
 To ufe you. as a menial Friend,, 
 Kindly to clafp, embrace,, and fhake ye, 
 When frofty Seafons chilly make ye; 
 Becaufe forfooth I fometimes ftoop, 
 You feem to ride quite Cock a hoop ; 
 And dare, tho' fo much underbred, 
 Equal with me to hold your Head; 
 If to your proper Ufe apply'd, 
 
 You're only fit to wipe B e, 
 
 Or fome fuch fervile Work, while I 
 The nobleft Scenes of Art fupply : 
 By me his Skill each Artift (hows. 
 By me the mimic Canvafs glows ; 
 And what the Sifter Nine indite, 
 Were loft, if I, Sir, did not write: 
 
 " 'Ti&
 
 I 143 3 
 
 'Tis I who Wifdom's Truths explain, 
 
 <c I'm premier Midwife to the Brain j 
 
 * ( Lovers by me their Pains reveal, 
 
 " The Cards I muffle, cut and deal: 
 
 " But what's fuperior to the reft, 
 
 " What makes me moft fupremely bleft, 
 
 " The Fair I'm licens'd to approach, 
 
 " To touch, to lead 'em to their Coach; 
 
 * Thus bleft, 'tis I, Sir, can impart 
 
 *' Raptures moft thrilling to the Heart; 
 
 " While you, with Aukwardnefs difguis'd, 
 
 <c Are to a Proverb ev'n defpis'd : 
 
 " So, good Sinijier^ judge the Sequel, 
 
 ** You're not to think yourfelf my Equal.'' 
 
 Sinijier, cool and free from Paffion, 
 Thus anfwer'd Dexter^ his Relation. 
 
 " Good Brother for fay what you will, 
 <i You're only my Twin Brother ftill; 
 * c What's all this mighty Fufs about ? 
 " You quite forget yourfelf, I doubt; 
 " In every Thing you undertake 
 *' What a fine Figure you muft make 
 
 " By me unaided, worthy Sir? 
 
 " You'd look as ftrange as one-ear'd Cur : 
 *' You know in Quibbling I delight, 
 M You're fometimes Wrongs tho' always Right: 
 
 " In
 
 t 144 3 
 
 ** In every Monument of Art, 
 
 " I never fail to bear a Part ; 
 
 " The Mufes' Bus'nefs I cou'd do 
 
 * Upon a Pinch, as well as you ; 
 
 ** And with the Fair, the Hand that gives 
 
 *' The Heart, and mutually receives, 
 
 Or Right or Left, 'tis all the fame; 
 
 Such Trifles burning Hearts difclaim: 
 
 *< In Dancing too nay, never ftare, 
 
 <c Right-Hand and Left my Worth declare; 
 
 * c And Hoyle himfelf, without my Aid, 
 
 *' Would find Quadrille an aukward Trade. 
 
 " Thofe great Advantages you boaft, 
 " Are accidental at the moft; 
 * To Education they are due, 
 *' Not to.intrinfic Worth in you: 
 " With equal Talents born, had I 
 " Been taught my Talents to apply, 
 " You had not call'd me your Inferior, 
 " But, envious, found me your Superior; 
 " For Envy in that Breaft muft dwell, 
 " That with Pride's Meannefs thus can fwelK 
 
 " What's yours, Chance might have made 
 " another's; 
 Tho' Right and Left we ftill are Brothers/ 
 
 How fweeter far the Garden Rofe, . 
 To that which in the Hedges grows ! 
 
 How
 
 C 145 1 
 
 How different Africa fawny Race, 
 From thofe who Europe's Climates grace! 
 Tho' Nature the Foundation lays, 
 Art muft the Superftradture raife j 
 And the Criterion of each Station, 
 Proceeds alone from Education. 
 
 
 N
 
 r 146 1 
 
 A S O N G. 
 ft 
 
 HOW wretched is your Lover's Fate, 
 I die with Grief if you fliou'd hate 
 If to my utmoft Wifhes kind, 
 Death from Excefs of Joy I find. 
 
 II. 
 
 Since either Way I Death muft know, 
 Let it, dear Nymph, from Kindnefs flow; 
 Such Death more joyous I'd receive, 
 Than any Life that Heav'n can give. 
 
 
 The
 
 t 147 J 
 
 The TWO CANDLES. 
 
 A F A B L E* 
 
 TW O Candles burning in a Hall, 
 The one large-wick'd, the other fmall ; 
 While Large-Wick chearful blaz'd and bright^ 
 The other fcarce gave any Light; 
 But in a Corner on a Shelf, 
 Juft glimmer'd, as to pleafe himfelf: 
 Cries Small-Wick, fneering, to the other,. 
 tc You blaze away, my fhowy Brother, 
 But that fuperior Light you boaft 
 " Muft foon---fo quick you burn be loft; 
 ** While, to Self-prefervation true, 
 tc I {hall out-live three fuch as your 
 Large-Wick, directed by the Sound, 
 His dark'd-ey'd Neighbour quickly found, 
 (Who elfe muft have unnotic'd been, 
 And, as quite worthlefs, overfeen) 
 And* thus reply'd: " Thou gloomy Aid: 
 " To the dark Us'rer's baneful Trade; 
 ** Thou Darknefs vi/ible, fcarce feen, 
 * Thou fit Companion for the Spleen; 
 * From thy poor Gafconade defift, 
 ** Yours is not Life you but Exijl\ 
 
 N 2 " While
 
 r h8 j 
 
 " While I, the few fhort Hours I know* 
 " In domg Good my Time beftow ; 
 " Candies are deftin'd to fupply 
 " The Want of Day-light in- the Sky; 
 ' Like fuppiimental Suns to light, 
 ; And banifli Dsrknefs, Gloom, and Night; 
 ' To lengthen Life, and kindly fhower 
 That Blifs of Blifles, Vifual Power: 
 This, while I live, I cheerful do, 
 While fch poor felfifc Things as you, 
 ; U ho hugger-mugger fpend jour Rays, 
 And have not Soul to give a Blaze, 
 " Are frill unnotic'd by Mankind, 
 " But when you leave a Stink behind." 
 
 The Conteft Sttfan heard, and took 
 bmall-Wjck from his fequefter'd Nook 
 She thruft him in the Kitchen Fire 
 Worthlefs, unheeded to expire 
 While Large-Wick, in the Parlour grac'd, 
 And 'mid furrounding Beauties plac'd, 
 A cheerful Luftre boidLy throws, 
 And to the laft his Spirit fhows. 
 
 Souls are like Candle-Wicks when fmalk 
 They fcarce give any Light at all: 
 When large- -they're public Bleffings found, 
 And beam their cheerful Blaze around; 
 
 And
 
 C 149 3 
 
 And if our Lives, as Sages fhow, 
 Are meafur'd by the Good we do, 
 
 And not by Days and Months 1 fear 
 
 Too many Small-Wicks will appear ; 
 
 And may be faid, with Truth's Confidence^. 
 
 Barely to know the Twilight of Exijlence. 
 
 
 N
 
 f '50 j 
 
 ABUSE and FLATTERY. 
 
 LIKE Hail, that ftrikes with Force, yet 
 leaves no Wound, 
 But harmlefs falls, and waftes upon the Ground 5 
 Abufe, when undeferv'd, we fafe abide, 
 Her Arrows confcious Virtue turns afide : 
 But ah .'like Rain that gently falling, cleaves, 
 While the drench'd Garb the dang'rous Gueft 
 
 receives; 
 Flatt'rv, foft ftealing, eafy Entrance finds, 
 And proves the Bane of unfufpeaing Minds : 
 To the Soul's Core the Phantom fteals unknown,. 
 Health flies, and Fever fills the vacant Throne- 
 Raving a while we fkim a Fairy Coaft, 
 Nor from th' Illufion wake, 'till we are loft. 
 
 When Vice the honeft Bofom wou'd enfnare,. 
 The Flatterer's Janus Mafk file's fure to wear 
 And as our Body's Health the Rain annoys, 
 Flattery's infiduous Dew our Souls deftroys, 
 
 W l 
 
 -*c: 
 
 Tht
 
 C 151 1 
 
 The O P I F E R. 
 
 pHO E BUS, as Poets all aver, 
 
 Is Nature's grandeft Opifer : 
 They fay, that ev'ry Thing we view 
 To his infpiring Pow'r is due j 
 That he impregnates Mother Earth, 
 To ev'ry Flow'r and Tree gives Birth j 
 That he alone can vivify, 
 (A monft'rous Falfhood by the Bye!) 
 For marvellous as Poets {how him* 
 Cloe a Bar's Length can out-do him. 
 
 When Phoebus, by his genial Power, 
 Wakes into Life each Herb and Flower, 
 What Days and Weeks and Months are fled, 
 E'er Vegetation rears its Head ! 
 Slow into Life the Flowers creep, 
 And grow as they were half afleepj 
 But when fair Cloe moves along, 
 Like Lightning ftarts a new-made Throng j 
 The Flow'rs beneath her Feet fhoot high, 
 As if fome Wonder to efpyj 
 Which, plain as Pike Staff, muft denote 
 A Something in her Petticoat, 
 That makes glad Nature quicker rife, 
 Than all th' Jpollos in the Skies. 
 
 And
 
 T 152 J 
 
 And did not Cloe nimbly pafs 
 
 Over the animated Grafs, 
 
 The fportive Flow'rs wou'd joyous fliow^ 
 
 By grateful Kifles what they owe, 
 
 To that fame vivifying Part, Vj - 
 
 Which iu ch ft range Magic can impart. 
 
 x x x x 
 
 X X x 
 ' v v 
 
 Wiittnl 
 
 ImJk
 
 t 153 1 
 
 Written in a Company where DETRACTION 
 engrojfed- the Converfation. 
 
 I. 
 
 SWEET to the Scent's the fmelling Briar* 
 Yet touch'd it gives us Pain ;. 
 The Streamlet we fo much admire, 
 Is oft diftain'd with Rain. 
 
 II. 
 
 The. Painting that delights the Eye, 
 
 To Shades its Beauty owes ; 
 On the fame Shrub conjoin'd we fpy 
 
 The Thorn and bl timing Rofe. 
 
 III. 
 
 No Mortal ever yet was made 
 
 From Imperfection free; 
 Angels themfelves have fome fmall Shade; . 
 
 Heav'n wills it thus fhou'd, be. 
 
 IV. 
 
 Mercy to others Failing? mow, 
 
 As you wou'd be forgiv'n; 
 The beft Man's Lot, alas, were Woe, 
 
 Were Mercy not in Heaven, 
 
 rhc.
 
 r 154 j 
 
 Thi FLOCK of WILD-GEESE.* 
 
 pROSSING the Humber in a Wherry, 
 V> The Weather fine, Companions merry: 
 I he Day, if I C an right remember, 
 The twenty-third of laft December, 
 An honeft Farmer chanc'd to fpy 
 A Flock of Wild-Geefe in the Sky; 
 tiis Head he eager fcrats, he grins, 
 
 Look there Friend WW he cries, odfwinds! 
 Thofc W,Id-Geefe fcudding o'er yon Spot, 
 Would prove a moft delightful Shot, 
 
 ^fV " Sh re and had "iy Gun, 
 By r Lady, I'd have glorious Fun; 
 
 vfl ^ thCy % ' Vh hawd a Cr > 
 
 Id bring fome of their Worfhips down." 
 Wl rubs his Eyes-" Why how now, Ned, 
 
 w' J C ^ ta ?/ Ure y U ' re wron S **' Head 
 
 Wild Geefe! I've look'd and look'd a^ain 
 
 < Are not thefe Wild-Geefe in your & Brain? 
 My Eyes, thank Heav'n are ftrong and clear, 
 
 And yet no Geefe to me appear-" 
 < Quo' Ned, Your Sight is woundy dim, 
 J See-o'er yon Mill-there-there they fkimj" 
 
 Will 
 
 * The above was written on being applied to by two Dif- 
 putants; one of whom was warm in Praife of Triji ram Shandy, 
 **< he other abufing it u a Work of uo Merit.
 
 Will fwears " There's nae fike Thing: That he 
 ** As well as any Mon can fee;" 
 While Ned, to Anger half inclin'd, 
 Re-fwears u That Farmer Will fs blind:'* 
 Hot and more hot grows the Difpute; 
 The other Paflengers are mute: 
 High Betts are offer'd fure Decifion, 
 To prove each right in his Opinion. 
 At length, unable to agree, 
 They make Old Hobfon Referee; 
 Determined by his Voice to reft, 
 Which of the Two could fee the beft. 
 Cries Hobfon with fagacious Look, 
 {His Beard down-ftroaking as he fpoke) 
 ' Ned fwore he faw nay fwears it ftill, 
 *' A Flock of Geeie o'er yonder Mill; 
 '* This Will with Trooper Oaths denies, 
 ** While Ned fwears, Will has got no Eyes; 
 " Will might with Modefty have faid, 
 
 <( He nothing faw; and Farmer Ned 
 
 * c Inftead of flying thus outright, 
 
 " Shou'd have compaflion'd William's Sight. 
 
 * c That Will's quite honeft I believe, 
 
 '" But Eyes fhort-fighted will deceive ; 
 
 * s And all Will's Oaths but barely fliow, 
 
 ** That Ned fees farther of the Two. 
 
 ** Shake Hands be Friends let Difcord ceafe, 
 
 ** And o'er a Tankard fign your Peace. 
 
 Thus
 
 r *& i 
 
 Thus HobfonBut fhort-fighted Will 
 Perfifts in his Opinion ftill. 
 
 None are more objllnate than thofe 
 Who can't fee farther than their Nofe; 
 And Moles are of that ftupid Kind, 
 They don't perceive that they are blind. 
 
 
 
 The
 
 C iS7 3 
 
 The WIT'* PROGRES S. 
 
 YOUR Genealogifh decide, 
 That Wit to Folly's near ally'd ; 
 Whence 'tis obferv'd, that Senfe and Wit, 
 In friendly Union feldom hit. 
 
 At Macro's Birth each Goflip cries, 
 " She fees Wit fparkle in his Eyes ;" 
 Ev'n at the "Breaft his Wit amazes, 
 And Nurfe is lavifh of her Praifes; 
 Whether he laughs, or cries, or crows, 
 Uncommon Wit her Baby {hows : 
 But one Thing makes poor Nurfy grieve, 
 " She fears he'as too much Wit to live." 
 
 At School he Learning quickly gains, 
 Yet feldom what he gets retains : 
 Mifchief is Macro's chief Delight, 
 Mifchief he ftudies Day and Night; 
 And he who Mifchief beft can hit, 
 With School-Boys is the greateft Wit. 
 But even in thole boyifli Days, 
 His Breeches' Tenant often pays, 
 For Matter Macro's witty Ways-: J 
 
 Sure Prologue to the many Woes 
 His ripen'd Wit muft yet difclofe. 
 
 O At 
 
 X
 
 f 158 ] 
 
 At College each raw Youth is fmit 
 With Macro's Humour, Whim, and Wit; 
 By which his Vanity's encreaft ; 
 He thinks himfelf a Swift at leaft; 
 But Macro's To amazing quick, 
 To One Thing he can never itick: 
 Meer Superficial fuffice ; 
 Macro's too witty to be wife: 
 Of each Preceptor and grave Soph, 
 His Wit is fure to make a Scoff; 
 With him each Fellow's an Old Mifs, 
 Of Maftulini Generis : 
 From Locke or Newton fee him run, 
 With Pleafure to enjoy a Pun ; 
 And all the Senfe of Ariftotle 
 Is a meer Trifle to a Bottle : 
 This foon brings on the Art of Drinking, 
 To which fucceeds the Want of Thinking; 
 For when Wit owns the Bottle's Sway, 
 Poor Wit's in a confumptive Way: 
 He drinks, he games, he wenches, fwears, 
 And a raoft glorious Buck appears. 
 
 Expell'd from College, Macro foon 
 Among the Bedford Wits is known; 
 Here Wit is current fure to pafs, 
 If fix'd with an Alloy of Brafs : 
 Now like his Brother Wits he dreams 
 Of Glory and Paclolean Streams; 
 
 But
 
 i 159 j 
 
 But Confcquences foon declare 
 'Tis building Carries in the Air ; 
 For Wit's an hungry Entertainment, 
 It feldom brings us Food or Raiment : 
 He writes and fpins his Cobweb Brains, 
 Small his Renown, but lefs his Gains: 
 His flip-fliod Billingfecjte-ipsdng Alufe 
 Is perfect. Miftreis of Abuie : 
 He libels, and our modeft Bard 
 Receives a Cudgel for Reward ; 
 His little Patrimony flies, 
 His Wit brings in but poor Supplies; 
 At length in Want of Board and Bed, 
 He Hackney Scribbler turns for Bread; 
 Hunger and ragged Want aflail, 
 And his laft Lodging is a Jail: 
 Defpis'd by All, and All defpifing, 
 Not the leaft Spark of Hope arifing; 
 Like a True ft it he ends his Pains, 
 And foolijhly blows out his Brains. 
 
 Have you not in a darkfome Night, 
 A Meteor feen ; with rapid Flight 
 Dart thro' the Sky, while Blockheads fwear, 
 The glitt'ring Nothing is a Star: 
 Ended its unfubftantial Fires, 
 In fome foul Ditch it foon expires. 
 
 O 2 ONE
 
 C 160 J 
 O N E. 
 
 ON E only Babe that pretty, good and wife 
 Now breathes j and that's ?ny Babe each 
 Nurfy cries; 
 One only Faith that points to Heav'h the Way, 
 " That Faith / preach," you hear each Fla- 
 m-en fay ; 
 " But One True Judgement," cries each Critic 
 
 Elf, 
 And that, he fvvears, is center'd in Himfelf: 
 One Garrick is the univerfal Cry, 
 And but One George were Treafon to denyj 
 Miftaken all ! Let Emulation warm, 
 What erft was fingle, into Life will fwarm ; 
 And where prolific Genius ftrikes the Root, 
 More Flow'rs than One from the ftrong Stem 
 
 will (hoot. 
 Of all Created, there are more than One; 
 Single there's Nothing, fave One God alone. 
 
 The
 
 I 161 } 
 
 The WHALE and TUB. 
 1766* 
 
 THE Whale appears, he foams, he rages, 
 And Ruin to the Ship prefages; 
 An empty Tub is quickly thrown, 
 And lo! The Monfter's Fury's gone;. 
 And Sir Leviathan, with Pleafure, 
 Plays with his empty wooden Treafure 
 Like Child with Rattle, and ne'er thinks 
 Whether the Vefiel fwims or finks: 
 Juft fo our Monfter, the huge Rabble, 
 Who, tublefs, ftill will fight and fquabble, 
 And of the Nation's Rights talk high, 
 Of Taxes, Trade, and Liberty; 
 Muft, to amufe them, have fome Toy t 
 Their fhallow Noddles to employ; 
 The Bottle Conjurer, a Ghoft,, 
 Btfs Canning, or fome fav'rite Toaft, 
 Shall, bubble-like, fix their Attention,. 
 And prove a Bone of fierce Contention; 
 While thofe the Public Helm who fleer, 
 With Eafe can of the Whale keep clear. 
 
 The Public Tub, the reigning Fafhion, 
 By which the Whale's Attention's caught, 
 Is a huge Tub to pleafe the Nation, 
 
 From Patagonian Highlands brought. 
 
 O 3 Long
 
 E 162 3 
 
 Long may our gracious Monarch live, 
 And long in Safety may he reign; 
 And grant that Common Senfe revive, 
 And Britons bear a better Brain.' 
 
 
 4
 
 [ i6 3 1 
 
 A NOSTRUM. 
 
 TOO fhort Seven fleeting Years, to re-fupply 
 Thofe Droves that by Electioneering die ; 
 But were an AcT: Triennial to take Place, 
 One fingle Age wou'd murder all our Race : 
 A Noflrum ftill remains, Britons, be wife, 
 In Ballotting this Saving Nojlrum lies; 
 The Axe 'tis fixing at Corruption's Root, 
 Which cut, wou'd venom'd Influence ceafe to 
 
 (hoot; 
 A Pow'r more ftable Monarchs wou'd attain, 
 And o'er a free-born, willing People reign.* 
 
 * Balloting, not only in Elections for Parliament, but 
 in all National Concerns, from the Ghuling a Petty Con- 
 ftable, to the Decifion of Parliamentary Queftions. 
 
 &'<**. 
 ^c^ 
 
 The
 
 [ x64 1 
 
 the DIFFERENT MEDIUMS. 
 
 -\JED with his Comrade Dick difputes, 
 ** What Simile the apteft fuits, 
 In ftriking Colours to declare 
 The various Paflions of the Fair. 
 
 " No Simile fo very pat 
 To me appears, as that of Cat" 
 Cries Ned: " Tho' thoufand Proofs arife,. 
 A few, I fancy, may fuffice. 
 
 Women when young, are frifky, gay, 
 < Quite kitteniih, and full of Play; 
 When riper grown in Love or Wit, 
 Ms Like Cats they're apt to fcrat and fpit. 
 
 " By ancient Bards it has been faid, 
 A Cat was turn'd into a Maid : 
 May we not from that Fountain trace 
 " Our modern fkittifh, cattifh Race? 
 
 " The Fiercenefs of a Cat is feen 
 " Whene'er you raife a Woman's Spleen; 
 " This Hour fhe purrs in friendly Note, 
 it The next fhe faftens on your Throat: 
 " Still in Extremes, like Cats they fhew, 
 " Whether they fcrat, or purr, or mew. 
 
 'Tis
 
 I 165 J 
 
 " 'Tis thought that Cats have got nine Lives ; 
 ** Some Hufbands think (o of their Wives. 
 
 " In Cats when raging Pafllons dwell, 
 " Their Tails like Bottle Brufhes fwellj 
 " In Women too, when Rage prevails, 
 *< You're fure to find it" 
 
 " Blafphemer, hold (cries Will) for Shame! 
 " Nor thus the Angel -Sex defame: 
 '* If aught beneath high Heav'n can bear 
 " To ftand as Emblem to the Fair, 
 " The Dove the Turtle Dove alone, 
 " Muft in that favour 'd Light be fhewn 
 
 <c How fweetly Women bill and coof 
 " How loving, tender, and how true! 
 " No Gall finds Room within their Breafl, 
 " There Turtle Love erects his Neftj 
 " Ev'n when they moft difpleas'd appear, 
 * The Turtle's plaintive Moan we hear. 
 
 " When dire Misfortune's baleful Smart, 
 " Has flutter'd little Tommy's Heart, 
 " In his lov'd Mate he conftant finds 
 " A Sov'reign Balm for wounded Minds ; 
 " She curves, and with encircling Wings 
 *' She looks and acts fuch tender Things, 
 " Grief's banifh'd, and the confcious Grove, 
 11 Re-murmurs with their mutual Love : 
 
 With 
 
 a
 
 r 166 ] 
 
 61 With Dove-like Sweetnefs thus the Fair 
 " Guards Man againft the Fiend Defpair; 
 ** She fmiles, fhe fpeaks, and each Carefs 
 ** She mixes with fuch Fendernefs, 
 " Misfortune's Darts no more annoy, 
 ' But all is Love, and rapturous Joy. 
 
 ** In Patience Nothing can compare 
 * With Turtle Doves, except the Fair. 
 
 " Pray, what are Venus and her Doves, 
 " But Emblems of their Charms and Loves? 
 
 * In fhort, in every Thing they do, "\ 
 
 " Whether they murmur, bill or coo, y 
 
 " Women are Turtles, gallefs, kind and true. J 
 
 Ned laugh'd aloud ; then fighing faid, 
 M You're fingle, Dick but I am wed." 
 
 Thro* different Mediums to Men's Eyes y 
 How widely different Things appear! 
 
 IVbile Juggler Prejudice fupp lies, 
 The different Spectacles we wear. 
 
 Ti;s
 
 C 167 ] 
 
 The SWIMMERS. 
 
 A Youth of Parts and Genius bright, 
 In Swimming took a great Delight ; 
 At fi ft the Stream he cautious enters, 
 Nor higher than his Navel ventures ; 
 Short Strokes his Want of Skill denote, 
 The briny Wave gets down his Throat :- > 
 Derermin'd {till he perfeveres, 
 Nor Pain or Difficulties fears ; 
 Acquires, each Trial, Something new, 
 (What will not Perfeverance do?) 
 'Till by Degrees he boldly braves 
 With fearlefs Breaft th' oppofing Waves; 
 Roves at Difcretion, and with Skill, 
 Or fkims the Stream, or dives at Will; 
 His School Mates all in this agree, 
 *' No Youth more graceful fwims than he;'* 
 How deep Hall cares not Half a F t, 
 Quite Mafter of the Swimming Art; 
 Can found the Depths, and at his Leifure, 
 Search all the River thro' at Pleafure. 
 
 His Comrade D'uk^ the felf-fame Views, 
 Tho' in a different Road purfues; 
 Too indolent to perfevere, 
 Bladders, full blown, his Carcafs bear; 
 JBy them up-born, D'uk long with Pride 
 Had, Straw-like, floated on the Tide; 
 
 With
 
 L 168 ] 
 
 With Superficials content, 
 
 And boaftful wherefoe'er he went; 
 
 But Dick, alas! cou'd never found 
 
 The Depths, nor reach the fathom'd Ground. 
 
 One Day as o'er the Stream he hies, 
 And on his puft-up Friends relies, 
 Venturing, as Coxcombs often will, 
 
 Beyond his Depth devoid of Skill, 
 
 The Bladders burft, Dick meets his Fate, 
 And mourns his Want of Skill too late ; 
 With wifhful Eyes he views the Shore, 
 And finks, alas! to rife no more. 
 
 In Learning or in Politics, 
 How many fuperficial Dicks! 
 While Halls to Senfe and Learning true, 
 Alas! how very, very few. 
 
 None from their Wadings fliould depart, 
 But Matters in the Swimming Art. 
 
 IN
 
 I 169 ] 
 
 IN SESE VOLVITUR ANNUS 
 
 TTTITH fprightly Mein and Vifage bland, 
 
 ' VV In order firft, throughout the Land, 
 
 <c Spring trips it, and where'er fhe treads, 
 
 * c With Sweets revives the fickly Meads j 
 
 *' Strews Flowers as fhe fports along, 
 
 * e And bloflbm'd Sprays refound the Song; 
 
 " While Man, Beafts, Birds, and Fifh combine, 
 
 ' In Praife of Genial Valentine: 
 
 " Playful as Kid, amid her Train, 
 
 " Is feen the Village Maid and Swain; 
 
 *' The Loves and Graces at her Sight, 
 
 " Whom Winter's Chill had .put to Flight, 
 
 <c From Heav'n, accompanied by Mirth , 
 
 *< Again revifit Spring and Earth; 
 
 *' And Nature, with a gladfome Eye, 
 
 * Beholds her Darling pafling by. 
 
 " Netft, with that Majefty and Pride 
 * By which Heav'n's Queen is dignified, 
 n ' Summer fucceeds Whofe pow'rful Sway, 
 Ci Earth, Seas, and kindling Air obey: 
 '* The Sun from Cancer darts his Rays, 
 " And pours an all-commanding Blaze; 
 '* Impregns with Life the fruitful Earth, 
 
 And all Creation burfts to Birth: 
 
 " On her Left-Hand, with glowing Face, 
 
 " Heat flowly moves : With gentle Pace 
 
 P " Zepkir
 
 [ 170 J 
 
 Zephtr upon her Right is feen, 
 * Comprefs'd by whom, the melting Queen 
 " Produc'd fair Healthy a lovely Boy, 
 Whom all admire, yet few enjoy. 
 
 " She pafles on and in her Rear, 
 " Autumn, Shief-crown'd, behold appear; 
 And Plenty with a buxom Face, 
 * And Cheerfulnefs with fmiling Grace, 
 " Dance Hand in Hand, and o'er the Plains, 
 ** Trip to EuPHItosiNE'j light Strains; 
 " While CVr^-bleft, the Reaper's Throng 
 ' The Chorus joins of Nature's Song: 
 " With echoing Horns the Hills refound, 
 The Hare fhes o'er the (haven Ground; 
 The loaded Waggons ftrip the Fields, 
 ** The founding Flail the Peafant wields, 
 Joyous he fills the flowing Bowl, 
 " And Pleafantry infpires each Soul; 
 " O'er Harveft Suppers gay prefides, 
 " And, mirthful, {hakes his lufty Sides; 
 < And Spleen, felf-banifh'd, takes her Flight, 
 Conceal'd in Darknefs, Gloom, and Night. 
 
 From the bleak North, in Sables drefr, 
 " Crawls Winter laft, with Age oppreft; 
 " Blear-ey'd his Back ybent like Bow, 
 f* His bald Head deeply cap'd in Snow; 
 " With fhrunk in Cheeks and frightful Beaid 
 " Of lficles; his Voice is heard 
 
 " In
 
 [ i7i J 
 
 ** In howling Tempefts and his Train 
 
 <4 Compos 'd of Fogs, Winds, Snow, and Rain; 
 
 44 With fcanty Light, obliquely given 
 
 44 From the remoteil: Part of Heaven : 
 
 44 His wrinkled Vifage, Looks fevere, 
 
 44 Strike Nature with a chilly Fear; 
 
 " Languid her Pulfc and Spirits beat, 
 
 44 And, frighted, to her Heart retreat : 
 
 '* Where'er he moves, wild Horror reigns, 
 
 44 He fpreads Deflru&ion thro' the Plains, 
 
 44 'Till Hope once more with Cherub's Wing, 
 
 44 Points the Return of youthful Spring; 
 
 44 At whofe Approach the Tyrant fiies 3 
 
 44 To cheerlefs Patagonian Skies ; 
 
 44 While, as before, in Order due, 
 
 44 The paffing Seafons we review. 
 
 44 Thus Nature Annual Life refumes, 
 44 And with frefh Youth and Beauty blooms; 
 44 While all the Changes Mortals know, 
 44 From one poor fingle Round muft flow; 
 44 For wounded once by Winter's Sting, 
 44 Man never hails Return of Spring." 
 
 Beneath a fpreading Shade reclin'd, 
 Thus Lucius fung with penfive Mind; 
 When bleft with Mufic's fweeteft Lay, 
 A heav'nly Voice was heard to fay: 
 44 Can Man, ungrateful, thus defpair? 
 *' Man, who is Heav'n's peculiar Care: 
 
 P 2 " Reafoo
 
 [ 172 J 
 
 Reafon and Revelation fhow, 
 
 11 That Man, Heaven- fa vour'd Man, fhall know 
 
 c * Another Spring above the Skies, 
 
 " Where like a Phoenix he (hall rife, 
 
 Where gloomy Winter never comes, 
 
 ic But Spring unfading always blooms; 
 
 " And He who Virtue's Mount can climb, 
 
 " Defiance bids to murd'ring Time: 
 
 " The Seafons which in Orbits run, 
 
 The Earth, and HeavVs great Eye, the Sun, 
 
 l Yon azure Vault, and Starry Hoft, 
 
 <c Shall fade again in Chaos loft: 
 
 " Ev"n Time itfelf fhall be no more, 
 
 * While Virtue fhall immortal foar; 
 
 *' For Virtue's Stream can never die, 
 
 ** Which God's own Fountain does fupply." 
 
 ***** 
 
 ***** 
 
 3ttE 
 
 EPI-
 
 [ 173 I 
 
 EPIGRAM. 
 
 WITH folded Hands and lifted Eyes, 
 " Have Mercy, Heav'n," the Parfon. 
 cries ; 
 * c And on our Sun-burnt, thirfty Plains, 
 c< Thy Bleffings fend in genial Rains.'* 
 The Sermon ended, and the Pray T rs, 
 The Parfon to be gone prepares; 
 When with a Look, brighten'd in Smiles^ 
 ** Thank Heav'n ! it rains," cries Farmer Giles : 
 ** Rains!" quo' the Parfon-:-- " Sure you Joke*-. 
 ** Rains! Heav'n forbid / han't my Cloak!'*. 
 
 P 3 Tbt
 
 [ 174 ] 
 
 The DOVES. 
 
 TWO fonder Turtles never woo'd 
 On Hill or fhady Grove; 
 In murm'ring Notes they bill'd, they coo'd, 
 And anfwer'd Lvve for Love. 
 
 II. 
 
 Their little Bofoms thought no 111, 
 
 The Murd'rer ey'd his Game; 
 He heard 'em coo -He faw 'em bill, 
 
 Yet took his fatal Aim: 
 
 III. 
 
 He fir'd ;- he fhed the trueft Blood 
 
 E'er warm'd a Turtle's Heart; 
 Amaz'd Colombo's Partner flood, 
 
 Nor from his Side wou'd part. 
 
 IV. 
 * If, Murd'rer, thou can/1 Mercy fhow, 
 
 Here aim your welcome Stroke; 
 " Again, again repeat your Blow; 
 
 " Your Vengeance I invoke." 
 
 He
 
 [ *75 I 
 
 V. 
 
 He Ievell'd, and his Aim was true; 
 
 She wifid the fatal Shot; 
 The Piece 1-ecoil'd ; it burft, it flew 
 
 The Murd'rer on the Spot. 
 
 VI. 
 
 'Twas Venus* Work: Her vengeful Hand, 
 To Death the Savage dooms : 
 
 She fpeaks---and at her high Command, 
 Colombo Life refumes. 
 
 VII. 
 
 Grateful, their warmeft Thanks they pay, 
 To the bright Queen of Love; 
 
 Who, watchful of their amorous Play, 
 Ev'n wifii'd herfelf a Dove. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Their little Hearts with Blifs o'er-nm, 
 Strait to the Grove they flew; 
 
 And to the Haunts of murd'rous Man, 
 Muimur'd a long Adieu. 
 
 7V
 
 176 J 
 
 Y M r .- Y- , on his Marriage' with a 
 
 mojl joyous Lady. 
 
 THO' fome talk of your Marriage queerly, 
 I wifh you Joy, Tom, moil fmcerely ; 
 And Joy that Hufband muft poffefs, 
 Whofe Wife's the Source of Joyoufnefs; 
 Whofe Wife has Hundreds happy made, 
 Quite Miftrefs of the joyous Trade; 
 What endlefs Joys to him are known, 
 Who all thofe Joys now calls his own; 
 Too much for one poor Man to bear, 
 With Friends you'll therefore kindly fhare.- 
 
 I hope, dear Tow, you've now for Life 
 Got a moft joyous, ative Wife; 
 To whom both fVtU.znA. Pow'r are given, 
 Of making Spoufy free of Heaven; 
 And who (Can Love be more expreft?) 
 Wou'd.damn herfelf to make You bleft. 
 
 Your friends all wifh you Joy, and hope 
 You've now of )oy---a. Cornu-Cope: 
 One Cornu-Cope perhaps won't do; 
 Why then, dear Tom, We wifli you Two* 
 
 An
 
 C 177 J 
 
 An EPILOGUE. 
 
 ACTORS are grown religious now-a-days, 
 And Epilogues are Graces after Plays: 
 I hope our Opera prov'd a decent Treat, 
 And Grace, you know, fhou'd follow after Meat. 
 
 Quite tir'd with Singing, cou'd I but prevail, 
 Inftead of Epilogue, you'd hear a Tale? 
 Thank ye, I read your Looks ; content they feem y 
 A Tale I'll give, and Mufic be my Theme. 
 
 Springing from Earth, a Lark had new begun 
 To hail with Mattins the uprifing Sun, 
 When a huge Boar, juft tumbling from his Sty, 
 Thus grunted to the Warbler of the Sky : 
 " Zoons! what a hideous Noife! that fcreaming 
 
 " Note l 
 '* I wifh Old Nic6 was dancing down yourThroat; 
 M You fee me wallow quiet in my Dung, 
 " I eat my Puddings, and I hold my Tongue : 
 " Why can't you live like-me ? Cram and be wife ; 
 " In cramming ugh ! -the greateftPleafure lies. 
 
 The Lark his Mufic for a Moment ceas'd, 
 And thus addrefs'd the long-ear'd, grunting Beaft* 
 "Peace, growling Wretch! unfeeling of thofe 
 
 " Joys, 
 ia Which Thou and Savages like Thee call Noife : 
 
 " Thought*
 
 [ i7 ] 
 
 " Thoughtlefs of Earth, I warbling upward rove, 
 c Tow'rds Heav'n , the Seat of Mufic and of Love : 
 * Or if, perchance, my Eyes to Earth I bend, 
 " IVIy Carrols for a Moment I fufpend ; 
 *' Pitying, I view the ha/f-enlhen'd Throng, 
 " To Muftc callous, and the thrilling Song : 
 " 'Tis a fixth Senfe, by kind indulgent Heaven 
 * 6 To favour'd Man and feather'd Songfters given: 
 Where Mufic's felt, we taite the Blifs of Gods; 
 * Without it, Larks, like Boars, were breathing 
 
 " Clods: 
 " Rowl in your Filth ; grunt on---nor dare decry 
 iS Beings fuperior- -Tenants of the Sky." 
 
 So f2id } the little Warbler upwards fprung, 
 And left the carping Boar in Filth and Dung ; 
 While the grofs Savage, from his kindred Mud 
 Stood gaping, nor one Warble understood : , 
 
 Tho' Boars, fometimes, the Human Form 
 difgrace, 
 Such, never yet, thank Heaven, were feen withia 
 this Place. 
 
 s><> 
 
 An
 
 I 179 ] 
 
 ^EPILOGUE, 
 
 Spoken by Mrs , after playing the Character of 
 
 Lady Brute. 
 
 AS Criminal on Gibbet high fufpended, 
 A dreadful warning Piece to All's intended, 
 Juft fo Poor Lady Brute's unhappy Fate 
 Seems to proclaim Beware the married State. 
 
 But judge not, Ladies, that a wedded Life 
 Is a perpetual Fund of Hate and Strife ; 
 When Hymen fmiles, his Joys are next divine, 
 Friendfhipar.d Love their fweeteft Flowers entwine; 
 Believe me, for of both I've flood the Ttft, 
 A fingle Life is but Half Life at beft. 
 
 Some Sir John Brutes, I own, are to be found, 
 But,Heav'nbeprais'd,thofeMonflersdon't abound: 
 Yet when to fuch in Wedlock we are given, 
 Are we not kind to fend the Brutes to Heaven ? 
 
 Search the World thro', in general you'll find, 
 That Marriage is a Draught of the mix'd Kind, 
 A Cordial bitter-fweet, a pleafing Pain; 
 An April-Day, now Sun-lhine and now Rain ; 
 A League Defenfive and alas, too true 
 It (fometimes) proves a League Ojfenfive too: 
 'Tis, in the Jockey's Phrafe, a Give-and-Take, 
 Where each fome fmall Allowances fliou'd make. 
 
 The
 
 [ i8o ] 
 
 The Matrimonial Tree all Taftes can fuitj 
 It yields at once both fweet and acid Fruit : 
 The Sweet too lufcious, oftimes is amended, 
 When with a little Dalh of Acid blended : 
 And fure the Acid were a fad Repaft, 
 Did not the blended Sweet correct the Tafte : 
 With genuine Spirits mix'd in Hymen's Bowl, 
 A pleafing Draught they make to glad the Soul. 
 
 But oh, this Caution let me beg you'd take, 
 Be fparing of the Acid for Love's Sake j 
 A little Acid gives a pleafing Zeft, 
 But Much the Cholic breeds, and don't digeft. 
 
 From Sir John's Fate learn, Hufbands, to be 
 wife; 
 Govern you may, but ne'er fhou'd tyrannize ; 
 If you wou'd have Us Honour and Obey, 
 To Love and Cberijh is your wifeft Way. 
 
 MM 
 
 The
 
 t 181 1 
 
 EPITAPHS, 
 
 Defigned for a Favourite Aclor. 
 
 FAREWELL Horror, Rage, and Love, 
 Farewell all the Soul can move; 
 Farewell Humour, Wit, and Joke, 
 Here Nature's Looking-Glafs lies broke. 
 
 -~- fr ] ^ i| ' jfr if y ' {" y ^ ' f y*| l > y^" ^f ^--!~ & 
 
 j^ffflg- Gentleman ivbo died of Love. 
 
 HERE refts whom Fortune and the Mufes 
 bleft, 
 Of Wealth, Good-nature, Learning, Wit pofleftj 
 Happy he rov'd, and was the blytheft Swain, 
 That ever tun'd his Pipes on Scotia's Plain; 
 'Till Love, malicious, aim'd a fatal Dart, 
 And, maugre Virtue's Shield, transfix'd his Heart; 
 Haplefs, he faw his Love gave Stella Pain, 
 To give her Eafe his Heart's Core burft in twain. 
 
 IT
 
 I IS2 j 
 
 IT matters not who fleeps within this Tomb, 
 To this fame Refting Place You loon muft 
 come ; 
 This is the Journey's End of Great and Small, 
 We all muft take a Lodging in Worm-Hall. 
 
 On a Weljhman. 
 
 LE T None dare approach who in Birth 
 are deficient; 
 A Weljhman lies here that is Reafon fufficient. 
 
 On 
 
 w 
 
 ITH Safety Truth may now appear; 
 Her greateil Foe lies bury'd here. 
 
 On an Honejl Poor Farmer. 
 
 LET not the Great indulge a fcornful Frown, 
 When told " Here lies, what was, an 
 
 honeft Clown :" 
 Tho* humble, yet his Pride was often feen; 
 He fcorn'd, tho' low, to ftoop to what was mean : 
 To Virtue if Reward above be given, 
 This Clown on Earth, Ennobled is in Heaven. 
 
 On
 
 e m i 
 
 On Mrs 
 
 TH E Heart that felt for other's Woe, 
 That warm'd with Virtue's facred Glowv 
 Is Cold Clay- cold: No more her Eyes 
 Virtue's pure Fount with Tears fupplies r. 
 AIT Cold and filent too that Tongue 
 Where foft Perfuafion ever hung : 
 Thofe Lips, where Swcetnefs ftill repos'd,. 
 Truth's Portals, now are ever clos'd : 
 
 The Mother! may to blefs Mankind, 
 
 Children unborn fuch Mothers find! 
 
 The tender Wife .'but Words are weak ; 
 
 The Hufband's Tears her Worth muft fpeak - 
 
 Here lies : 
 
 Be humble, Mortals,, learn your Doom, 
 To this Cold Bed we all muft come : 
 Since Virtue's Favourite lies here, 
 'Twere Virtue now to fhed a Tear. 
 
 Written over a Burial Vault. 
 
 ONE common Boaft attends King, Clown,, 
 and Hero, 
 Contained in this few Words Saw, Fui, Ero.
 
 I i&4 I 
 
 EPIGRAMS, fife 
 
 IF Wilkes's Schemes they mean to blaft, 
 And ftop his bold Career; 
 They muft forgive him all that's paft, 
 And make him a Scotch Peer. 
 
 ScribUrius. 
 
 r/*? Downfall of the Jefuits. 
 
 Y 
 
 E Sophifts train'd up in Ignatius' College, 
 For Shame! what's become of your Wifdom 
 
 and Knowledge? 
 
 'Tis gone And we find that the Axiom is true, 
 
 Si itis Jefuitis -non itis Jefu. 
 
 >uiblerius* 
 
 TO pleafe Pygmalion, Heav'n infpir'd with 
 Life 
 A Tonguelefs Stone, of which he made a Wife ; 
 Wou'd Heav'n, all-gracious, hear J/ino's Moan*. 
 
 His Wife her Tongue at leaft -woud foon. 
 
 be Stone* 
 
 On
 
 I 185 1 
 
 On a Pbyftcian and M*n - Midwifu 
 
 PHYSICIAN and Man-Mdwife join'd in 
 One! 
 Both Life and Death his Pow'r unbounded own }, 
 This Hand to Life induces us from the Womb.;: 
 The other gives us, Pill ftruck, to the, Tomb. 
 
 9"$"$"$"$'$'"$' ^^fr-fr fr 9 . fo # $$' $ &&& 
 
 FROM feafting on Garrick how often we find 
 Fools feaft upon Harlequin, more to their 
 Mind I 
 Thus Flies, 'tis obferv'd, from a Tafte as abfurd, 
 On Honey firft feed^ then indulge on 
 
 On an eminent Alor 
 
 WHILE Fools in Bvfo think they fee 
 The True Vii Comica expreft j 
 Your Men; of Judgement all agree, 
 
 'Tis enter Phiz Comica u belt.. 
 
 Q.1 On
 
 t 186 1 
 
 On another of the fame Trofeffion, 
 
 TO touch our Hearts nor fighs nor Teate 
 neglected ; 
 You'll ne'er affeB: -The Reafon? You're 
 affetted. 
 
 CRIES Gnatho " In Ireland what Plenty 
 * were found, 
 ** Were your Bogs but well drain'd, and trans- 
 
 " form'd to dry Ground:" 
 " No, no, (with a Sigh replies Dermat) 'tis 
 
 " plain, 
 *' Poor Ireland too much, by St Patrick, they 
 " drain." 
 
 THE Difference you afk me, Jack, 
 'Twixt Mavius and Dean Swift ; 
 The one of Writing has the Knack, 
 The other has the Gift. 
 
 S. 
 
 On
 
 r is?* u 
 
 @n feeing thePiffure ofjujihe over the Judge's Seat. 
 
 WH I L E Fe t with Brow fevere, and 
 formal Saw, 
 From the Learn'd Bench expounds the Myftie Law- 
 See Jujiice o'er his Head as Symbol ftand, 
 The Sword. and well-pois'd Scale in either Hand; 
 But P e, to prove the Goddefs a meer Farce, 
 Unmanned Brute! Towards her turns his A-fe. 
 
 AYorhJhirc 'Squire, with Looks that fneer'd 
 forth Scorn, 
 
 Gries, " Prithee, Honeft Friend, where were 
 
 you bom?"'. 
 
 ** In Ireland, faith," cries Patrick: " Nor 
 
 would I, 
 " Ev'n tho' in York/hire born, the Truth deny* 
 
 "YOU
 
 [ i8S J 
 
 " \TOU keep your Poft Chariot, dear Galen* 
 
 \ I feet" 
 
 ** You miftake, my dear Friend, my Poft Chariot 
 "keeps me.'* 
 
 WHILE Stentor in Dument appears, 
 And, fighing, pours forth Floods of Tears 
 How ftrangely various People's Whim ! 
 He weeps; Spectators laugh at Him : 
 Tho' different, juft is their Decifion; 
 Rowe merits- Tears* 6 tentor iverifion.. 
 
 i 
 
 \^\L^F^^f^k^F^LjdF^^ji 
 
 " A hearty Drubbing, mil, you know, 
 
 ZTL For your damn'd Negligence I owe :* 
 *< Good Sir, for Trifles never fret," 
 Cries Will" For, J forgive the Debt:* 
 
 R UFA
 
 TDUFJ Advances makes j What can flie do? 
 Virgins of Thirty-fix zxtforcd to woo: 
 Yet droop not, Rufa- t I have known Tome Men> 
 To a young Chick prefer a tough old Hen ' y 
 If fo, who knows what ftill thy Fate may be, 
 Some Fool may chance to flick his Fork in thee* 
 
 On Reading in the New/papers of the Marriage of a 
 young Lady, whcfe leaji Jccomp.UJhment was 
 faid to be 2000 /. a Tear. 
 
 f^LOE's Two Thoufand Pound a Year,. 
 
 Her leaft Accomplifhment's we hear; 
 Her lea/} Accomplifhment !--- 'Tis true- 
 But then, it is her Greatejt l too. 
 
 -y-n- ifr jjtr-a- -if- y ^ jj t j jl & dt -ijj" -sjnijh ^--^- -^ ^-^t -jJe- -^h 
 
 THE Man who on his Wit depends, 
 Can feldom boaft great Store of Friends ;. 
 And he who to himfelf is wife, 
 Not on his Wit but Wits relies. 
 
 What
 
 I 19 J 
 
 What is it Like? 
 
 HUMOUR and fportive Mirth abound,. 
 And What's Love like? goes laughing 
 round; 
 Quo' Hall, " Love's like a Tragedy, 
 " Where Death's the fure Cataftrophe :" 
 Cries Senex " Love, I think, is fcarce 
 Superior to a One A& Farce :" 
 *? I rather think," replete with Glee, 
 Cries Nan, " that Love's a Comedy r 
 U Where every A<5t, tho' full of Sporty 
 *' In my Opinion is too fhort ; 
 * So tedious too each Interlude, 
 " Ws Ion"- to have the Play reuew'd." 
 
 IF Wit be what your Wits have faid in Mirth, 
 " A quick Conception, and an eafy Birth," 
 Ho more their feeble Claim let Men avow, 
 Wit's fprightly Wreathe muft grace the Female 
 Brow. 
 
 Man-
 
 I 191 ] 
 
 Man Refined. 
 
 J DAM we're told was form'd of plaftic Earth, 
 And Eve to Clay-fprung Adam ow'd her Birth 3 
 As much fuperior Adam we fuppofe 
 To the dull lifelefs Clod from whence he rofe, 
 So much at leaft fuperior we conceive 
 To Clay fprung Adam was his Rib-fprung Eve* 
 
 9 ' I >IS an Axiom well known, deny it who can, 
 X That a Taylor is but the ninth Part of a 
 
 Man; 
 'Tis an Axiom approv'd too, that each jolly Tar, 
 Makes nine common Men, or in Peace or in War: 
 Thefe Truths once premis'd ~-'Tis plain that 
 
 Two Sailors 
 Make more than one Hundred and Sixty Poor 
 
 Taylors, 
 
 On
 
 F 
 
 t *9* ! 
 
 On two beautiful Female Friends. 
 
 ATR Phillis and Che are never afunder, 
 The Wonderful Beauty , and beautiful Wonder \ 
 Such -wonderful Beauties thofe Beauties can boaft, 
 We wondering behold, and in Wonder are loft; 
 And where Two fuch Wonders againft us confpire, 
 No Wonder the World fliould in Wonder expire. 
 
 Peter Wonderful. 
 
 30O0G0OK3eOe(3O(3O6OOeOIOO()OC>eC)C)0C}OO0GOC9C 
 
 To Live Well. 
 
 IF He who is Goodm&y be faid to Live welly 
 And if to Live well be to Keep a good Table $ 
 Then he who eats bejl muft in Goodnefs excel!, 
 And Virtue and Vice are no more than a /06/r.
 
 C 193 ] 
 
 On VOLTAIRE. 
 
 ENTHUSIASTS, Lutherans, and Monks, 
 Jews, Syndics, Calvinifts, and Punks, 
 Voltaire an Atheift call; 
 While he, unhurt, in placid Mood, 
 To prove himfelf a Chriftian good, 
 Kindly forgives them all. 
 
 GOOD Bavius each Day at the Chapel is 
 feen, 
 And Saint-like declaims at Romances obfcene; 
 Yet Bavius can read, when he's lnugly alone, 
 The Woman of Plea/we, with Speclades on. 
 
 On feeing the Interlude of Neptune and Am phi- 
 trite, in Shakefpeare'j Tempeft, performed. 
 
 WHILE Ocean's Deity and Pride, 
 O'er Atiphitrite, his fair Bride, 
 Enamour'd hangs, her milky Cheft 
 And heaving Globes his Eyes arreft: 
 Ficldiay with a fmiling Look, 
 That Archnefs and Good-nature fpoke, 
 
 Thus cries 
 
 '* Or I'm mifkken, or the Difh, 
 
 Neptune admires, is Flejb, not Fijh." 
 
 & Oft
 
 [ 194 J 
 
 On Two remarkable Orators, who exhibited Lec- 
 tures of Elocution alternately the fame Night, at 
 Theatre. 
 
 WHILE Fatuus like a Madman rants 
 and raves, 
 And fleeping Spe&res roufes from their Graves ; 
 Crajus, with dull, unvaried, Nurfe-like Strain, 
 Moft kindly Lullabies them back again. 
 
 /^LEORjfs Breads two Hillocks are of Snow, 
 
 On which Two little fragrant Rofe-Buds grow; 
 Between thofe Hills lies Cupid's Down-fmooth 
 
 Vale, 
 Where Jove himfelf enraptur'd might regale, 
 And lodg'd within, a treafur'd Heart is known, 
 Form'd like her Sifter Medicis of Stone. 
 
 On reading Mr j M acauley 'j Hijloryofthe Stewarts. 
 
 TO fhame the Luke-warm Patriots of the Age, 
 Ar.d wake 'em to a genuine Britifh Rage, 
 See, Liberty herfeif from Heav'n appears, 
 And fair Macauleys Form the Goddefs wears. 
 
 The
 
 t 195 ] 
 
 The MERCIFUL. 
 
 A Butcher with a Heart as hard as Stone, 
 And callous to an Orphan Lambkin's Moan, 
 Seizes his fated Prey with horrid Grin, 
 And whittles while the Knife he plunges in; 
 Nell, who the Scene beheld, with piteous Look, 
 And fhrugg'd-ug Shoulders, thus her Feelings 
 
 fpoke : 
 " The barb'rous Wretch! thus, unprovok'd, 
 
 " to fpill 
 " The Blood of a poor Lamb that ne'er did 111 ! 
 " See, how the little Creature pants for Life, 
 " The Murd'rer's Jaws clafping the reeky. Knife: 
 " To do a Deed like this, were I to gain 
 " The Univer fe~-ev'n fuch a Bribe were vain." 
 
 Thus Nell with Tendernefs exclaims and feels 
 
 While a]l. the Time good Soul ! r-SfaJkins 
 
 live Eels, 
 
 
 R 2 X9
 
 i 9 6 ] 
 
 On feeing Mifs bathing in the Sea. 
 
 IN Pity to the Torments that I feel, 
 Transform your Votary, Venus, to an Eel ; 
 In that wifh'd Form, I'd ftroll yon liquid Space, 
 And find, by InftindT: led, a refting Place, 
 A fnug Retreat, the Lover's fav'rite Prize, 
 Where, with Lovers Tide, I fafe might fall 
 
 and rife; 
 There, with extatic Joys, I'd glad expire, 
 Unquench'dby Neptune, in Love's heav'nly Fire. 
 
 m 
 
 A RIDDLE. 
 
 IN Battle the S touted Nor is it a Wonder 
 To this ftrange Phancmenon always ftrike under: 
 Ne marie fike a Monfren in Figtit fhou'd prevail, 
 Whofe Head (Lord preferve us) lies hid in its Tail.
 
 [ i97 3 
 
 .//PASTORAL. 
 
 THE Sun juft peeping o'er the Hills was feen, 
 The Birds all caroll'd, and the Air was 
 
 fheen j 
 Garlands, of Daffodils and Tulips made, 
 With Cowflips, gathered from the unforced Glade, 
 O'er ev'ry Cottage Door, in Trim fo gay, 
 Spoke a glad Welcome to the wifh'd-for May: 
 Dight in their gayeft Cloaths, each Shepherd 
 
 Swain 
 And Village Nymph trip'd o'er the green-fwerd 
 
 Plain, 
 While Cupid made fuch Havock among Hearts, 
 His full-ftor'd Quiver fcarce fupply'dhim Darts: 
 In ev'ry Breaft Joy revell'd this glad Morn,. 
 Save Deborah's: She, haplefs Maid, forlorn, 
 With Eyes brimful, beneath a Yew reclin'd 
 Sat, dulling with her Sighs the pafiing Wind; 
 When Margery, light tripping o'er the Grafs, 
 Stopp'd fliort, and fwond'ring) thus accofts 
 
 the Lafs. 
 
 Margery. 
 Am I awake ? Is't Deborah I fee 
 With blubber'd Cheeks? Quite loft her wonted, 
 
 Glee ? 
 What, Debt That erfl fo frolickfome was feen ; 
 The blytheft Maid that dane'd upon the Green f 
 R S Ups,
 
 [ 198 ] 
 
 Up, up, for Shame, nor longer dowley fret, 
 Around the Pole the Lads and Gii Is are met ; 
 Blind Giles his Fiddle fcrapes in Notes fo fweet, 
 You'd think, for fure, he witchM their Puppet 
 
 Feet: 
 Have you forgot this is the Firft of May? 
 When dight in their new Robes the Fields look 
 
 gay : 
 On ev'ry Hedge the fcent d Bloflbms fpring, 
 The Birds their fweeteft Carrols joyous fing; 
 The Cuckow, dumb 'till now, this Morn eflays, 
 In mellow Notes his Summer Song to raife: 
 Up, up, fur Shame, and to the Sports repair; 
 Our Sweethearts both, bdieve me, Girl, are therei 
 Whence comes this Change? What fad Mis- 
 fortune, fay, 
 Can caufe thofe Tears, and Looks of wild Difmay > 
 
 Deborah. 
 
 Ah, haplefs Maid! when you my Griefs 
 
 ihall hear, 
 Too foon, alas, you'll anfwer Tear for Tear;. 
 7ummas, the Lad to whom I gave my Heart, 
 Tummas and I for ay mutt henceforth part; 
 He and thy Sweetheart, Hedge, both lifted are, 
 An<i now to fight with Frenchmen muft prepare. 
 
 M AR-
 
 C T99 1 
 
 Margery. 
 You fright me, Deborah ; nay, cleared Maid, 
 Was it in Joke or Earneft what you faid? 
 
 Deborah. 
 Too true I wifs the News for Farmer John 
 Saw.the Lads ftrutting with their red Coats on: 
 Laft Night the Serjeant, with his Copper Lace, 
 (Woe worth his oily Tongue and brazen Facej 
 Entic'd 'em to the Royal Oak and tbv;re 
 Firft made 'em drunk and then they lifted were* 
 
 'M A R G E R Y. 
 
 My Roger Lifted \ Margery's undone, 
 With Roger every Joy and Comfort's flown; 
 Was it for this fuch fugar'd Words you (poke, 
 When the bent Six pence lovingly we broke? 
 Was it for this I've oftimes been foretold, 
 That bleft with Roger's Love I mould grow old? 
 Nor Sieve or Sheers I'll henceforth e'er believe, 
 Nor fnall St dgnes's Faft again deceive; 
 Nor credit more a Six-pence put in Ruth* 
 (Strange ! that the Bible thus fhould tell Untruth !) 
 
 F 
 
 or 
 
 'Tis a Cuftom among Country Girls to put tFie Bible, 
 under tlieir Pillows at Night, with Six-pence clapt in the 
 Book of Ruth, in order to dreara of the Man dtftined to b 
 
 their Kulbaiids,
 
 [ 200 } 
 
 For all my Hopes Woe's me! are overblown, 
 Since Sweetheart Roger for a Soldier's gone. 
 
 Deborah. 
 
 The Bride-cake which I got when Farmer 
 Hale 
 Married the buxom Widow of the Dale, 
 Beneath my Bolfter plac'd in Kerchief white, 
 I dreamt of Nought but Tummas all the Night : 
 I thought but Margery, you oft have known, 
 And well my Dreams may guefs at by your own : 
 Nor Dreams or Bride-cake henceforth I'll believe, 
 For Dreams and Bride-cake both alike deceive. 
 
 Margery. 
 
 The Dew, which I this Morn with fo much 
 
 Care 
 Gather'd from yon green Field to make me fair,. 
 I'll fling away Nor henchforth, well I ween, 
 This blubber'd Face, ought elfe, fave Tears, 
 
 fhall clean; 
 For what avails a comely Face to boaft, 
 Since all I prize, ah me! in Roger's loft. 
 
 Deborah. 
 
 WhenTummas cut hisHand upon the Wound, 
 To ftop the Blood, a Cob-web ftrait I bound ; 
 Next Day he told me I had heal'd the Smart, 
 And, fmiiins;, wifli'd me heal his bleeding Heart;. 
 
 I
 
 [ 201 ] 
 
 I bhifh'd he kifs'd me; and with fugar'd Words, 
 And Tongue, as foft and fmooth as unbroke 
 
 Curds, 
 He made me plight my Troth; and on a Book 
 Swear to be his: The Oath we jointly took: 
 He fwore my True Love he would live and die; 
 Are Lovers True, who from their True Loves fly? 
 
 Margery. 
 
 Laft Jpril-t'ide (I little thought fo foon, 
 Laft dpril-ude, to part with my dear Loon) 
 Like Roger none fuch matchlefs Wit cou'd fhow, 
 Or make fo many Zipril Fools, I trow. 
 
 Deb o,r a h. 
 
 A few Days gone, (how tender Tummai Breaft !) 
 From a rude Lad he fav'd a Linnet's Neft; 
 He fwore, and fwore aloud, It was a Shame 
 To murder Birds of any Sort but Game: 
 How can a Heart, fo tender and fo good, 
 Then make a Trade of fhedding Chriftian Blood? 
 
 Margery. 
 
 In Wreftling no one Lad can Hodge excel]} 
 At Cudgels too he always bore the Bell; 
 And but laft Wake, when a rude Fellow fwore 
 He'd have a Kifs, and my lae'd Kerchief tore, 
 I fcream'd; Hodge flew like Lightning to my Aid, 
 And at his Feet the Brute was quickly laid. 
 
 D E B 0-
 
 [ 202 ] 
 
 Deborah. 
 In Dancing, who with Tummas cou'd compare? 
 Or foot it on the Green with fuch an Air? 
 AtChurch too none fo loud the Pfalms cou'd fingj 
 He fhalc'd and quaver'd fo, he made all ring: 
 And then to hear him chaunt Bold Robin Head, 
 Or Marg'ret's grimly Ghoft, what Hours I've 
 
 flood ! 
 
 I cou'd not Air I was all Ears and Eyes ; 
 Dame might fcold on; I told her twenty Lies : 
 And when he whifrled, Margery, I fwear, 
 Nor Flutes nor Black-birds cou'd with him 
 compare. 
 
 Margery. 
 A Swallow's Neft, which for five Summers ftood, 
 The Nurfery of many a callow Brood, 
 Juft o'er my Cafement, where the Jeffamine 
 And Honey-Suckle rival Sweets entwine ; 
 (Where Swallows build, good Fortune ftill i& 
 
 known) 
 Laft Eafter Day, --Woe's me! came 
 
 tumbling down : 
 The Bird return'd from foreign Parts yeftreen, 
 And feem'd to pafs the Spot, and mourn, I ween, 
 And now its Nell builds elfewhere as if {truck, 
 My Window was the Dwelling of Ill-Luck. 
 
 D E B O-
 
 I 203 ] 
 
 Deborah. 
 The other Night to think on't makes me weep, 
 When Cocks, Hens, Pigs, and Chriftians were 
 
 afleep ; 
 Into our Barn the crafty Reynard ftole, 
 He made his Way thro' yonder tiny Hole; 
 The Hens, all flutt'ring, with a piteous Cry 
 Proclaim'd aloud the murd'rous Fox was nigh; 
 Wak'd with the Noife, I ftarted in my Smock, 
 
 And fcream'd aloud " My Cock ? My 
 
 " Ginger Cock!" 
 I came too late my Ginger Cock was gone; 
 " My Cock!" I cry'd and fell into a Swoon: 
 Crafty the Fox; the Serjeant craftier far, 
 Who in his Clutches thus can Tummas bear: 
 Another Ginger I may get again, 
 But never, never get fo fweet a Swain. 
 
 Margery. 
 
 No mbre fhall Bees to flowery Meads refort, 
 
 Nor with their willing Mates Cock-Sparrows 
 
 fport; 
 No more in the Red Sea Goblins be laid, 
 Or Midnight Fairies pinch the flattern Maid; 
 The Gipfy's Hand no more fhall Maidens crofs, 
 Or more the CofFee-Difh fhall trembling tofs, 
 The Lambsfhall ceafe to bleat, the Cocks tocrow, 
 When Tears for -my poor Roger ceafe to flow. 
 
 Debo-
 
 [ 2C4 j 
 
 Deborah. 
 Sooner the heavy Ox fhall flit thro' Air, 
 Sooner with Turtles rav'nous Kites fhall pairi 
 The Hogs (hall fmg in foft melodious Notes, 
 And Nightingales fhall, gruntling, ftretch their 
 
 Throats j 
 Sooner the 'Squire his Rent when due refufe, 
 Or fmalleft Sheaves, in Tything, Parfons chafe; 
 Sooner than Break thou ftubborn Heart, in twain, 
 Sleeping or waking I forget my Swain. 
 
 Thus waild the Maids, when on the Plaia 
 
 appear'd 
 Tummas and Roger, whom the 'Squire had clear'd, 
 The welcome Sight at once difpell'd their Fears, 
 KifTes and Msy-day Fare dried up their Tears 
 The Swains their Wifhes had, the longing 
 
 Maidens theirs. 
 
 m ^ >$c 
 
 3( * * 
 
 H9K 
 
 ... 5 
 
 rs,-> 
 
 Tkt
 
 [ 205 ] 
 
 The LION and WASP. 
 A Fable. 
 
 A Lion, whofe Blood-thirfty Reign 
 Befpoke him Nero of the Plain; 
 Who judg'd that the fole End of Power 
 Was to deftroy and to devour; 
 Who knew no Law but Tyrant Will, 
 Still prompt to ravage, fleece, and kill, 
 Thus proudly roars " With Jove I vie, 
 I rule the Earth, he rules the Sky; 
 His Thunder makes the Heavens quake, 
 My Roaring makes the Forefts (hake; 
 Death ever waits my Kingly Sway, 
 While four-legg'd crouching Slaves obey; 
 They breathe but by my Courtefy, 
 And the whole World was made for Me: 
 Britannia's Monarch I difdain, 
 Who rules by Love a willing Plain ; 
 Like fam'd Morocco's Prince I move, 
 By Fear I govern, not by Love. 
 
 Thus vaunts the Grand Monarque: Around 
 His fervile Courtiers lick the Ground, 
 When with a carelefs Air and Grace, 
 A buzzing Wafp flies near the Place, 
 
 S Skirnls
 
 [ 206 ] 
 
 Skims thro' the Air, nor bends the Wing 
 
 In Homage to the mighty King; 
 
 Which (o incens'd his Majefty, 
 
 That with his Tail erected high, 
 
 He ftrikes the Infect to the Earth, 
 
 And fpoils his Mufic and his Mirth.* 
 
 * Shall a mean worthlefs Infect dare 
 
 ,c Unbidden in our Sight appear? 
 
 u When Infolence thus dare prefume, 
 
 " Death certain Death fhall be its Doom," 
 
 Tho' ftunn'd at firfr. with venom'd Spite 
 The Wafp foon wings his circling Flight; 
 He vows Revenge, and on his Foe, 
 With Sting erect he aims the Blow : 
 " Tyrant (he cries J what cou'd provoke 
 * Without a Caufe thy barb'rous Stroke? 
 < From Want of Food can it proceed ? 
 * c Lions on Infects never feed: 
 * c The Reafon*s plain, thy cruel Breaft 
 <c Is with a human Soul pofTeft; 
 " 'Twas Wantonnefs provok'd the Deed, 
 <e To pleafe your Pride, ev'n Wafps muft bleed : 
 " But, Tyrant, take before I die 
 " An injur'd Wafp's laft Legacy:" 
 So faid, he darts with rapid Wing 
 The Noftrils of the fhaggy King, 
 To the extremeft Verge afcends, 
 There all his wafpifh Venom fpends; 
 
 And
 
 And near the Brain's monaftic Cell 
 He pours his macerating Spell:- 
 
 The Tyrant roars, and o'er the Plain, 
 He drives, in all the Hell of Pain j 
 The Forefts tremble with his Cries, 
 Quick to his Brain the Venom flies, 
 And raging mad, he tears, blafphemes, and dies 
 
 Thus Bubble Pride and Cruelty, 
 Thofe pageant Tyrants of an Hour, 
 
 Are often forc'd to bend the Knee, 
 Ev'a to a paltry Infe&'s Power. 
 
 .} 
 
 & OOOO 000c *vj 
 
 S 2 The
 
 [ 208 ] 
 
 The TRIPLE ALLIANCE. 
 
 AS Pkcebus fcated en high P Indus Brow, 
 Beam'd forth his Bleffings on the World 
 below j 
 While round his Throne the tuneful Sifters play, 
 And Wit and Mujic hail the God of Day, 
 Folly with grinning Face, and vacant Head, 
 And Vice, to Joy and Feeling ever dead, 
 With black. Hxpocrify, their favourite Child, 
 (By fome the Spleen, fome Superjlition ftii'd) 
 Cringing approach'd the Throne, and thus they 
 
 fpoke : 
 
 " Your Juftice, mighty Pheebus, we invoke; 
 * Shall Saty, Wit, and Humour, thofe low 
 
 " Things, 
 ** Who can't like Us a Line3ge boaft from Kings, 
 " Shall They from the curft Stage their Ar- 
 
 '* rows fend, 
 *' And True Religion impioufly offend ? 
 " Say is it fitting JVe fhould bend the Knee 
 * And dread Thalia and Melpomene? 
 * The Stage deftroy'd, we fliou'd no more 
 
 " complain, 
 " But Mankind own our Univerfal Reign." 
 
 With Brow contracted, and difdainful Eye, 
 Melpomene advane'd to make reply, 
 
 When
 
 [ 20 9 ] 
 
 When with a fprightly Archnefs in her Look, 
 
 Thalia thus the kindred Peib befpoke j 
 
 " Sweet Madam Vice, from whom we pluck the 
 
 Veil, 
 " And fhew the World what you wou'd fain 
 
 '* conceal ; 
 11 And Goodman Folly, whofe chaotic Rule, 
 *' Mankind would own, but for my Ridicule; 
 " And Thou, Hypocrify, of Senfe the Shame, 
 " Who impioufly ufurp'ft Religion's Name, 
 " Tho' differing wide, as Guinea's footy Train, 
 " From thofe fair Nymphs who grace Briton* 
 
 " nia's Plain ; 
 The Mufes' Looking-Glafs fhall fliow ye bare, 
 u Not as Ye wctid appear, but as Ye are ; 
 " Stript of Difguife, your Souls we will difplay, 
 " And hunt ye as the wildeft Beaffs of Prey ; 
 " And tho', while Men have Paflions, fo fays 
 
 " Fate, 
 < We can't a certain, lafting Cure create, 
 " We'll ftill, with Virtue's Aid, your Pow'r afTail, 
 " And make ye feel the Force of Tickle-Tail" 
 
 So faid, her Lam fhe rear'd, and at the Sight, \ 
 The Fiends, trembling with Rage and venom'd | 
 
 Spite, 
 Vanifh'd, like Fiends, conceal'd in Shades of 
 Night. 
 
 ) 
 
 Let
 
 C 2IO } 
 
 Let bloated Envy gnaw the bloody File, 
 The Mufes and their Priefls at Envy fmile ; 
 Unwounded ftill the Inftrument remains, 
 "Tis Envy's Blood the crimfon'd File diftains. 
 
 J 
 
 On
 
 [ 211 ] 
 
 On Mr D 's Marriage with Mifs E . 1 767. 
 
 " Tl y^TAY Heaven this Boon in Mercy grant, 
 
 JYX 'Tis all I wife, 'tis all I want; 
 
 " A youthful Bride to grace my Bed, 
 
 " In Honour's ftri&eft Precepts bred; 
 
 " Sweet-temper'd, gentle as a Dove, 
 
 " 'Till now an Alien to Love ; 
 
 " With Beauty to direct the Dart, 
 
 " And Virtue to fecure my Heart; 
 
 " Above Coquetting; bleft with Senfe; 
 
 " Whofe ev'ry Look is Eloquence; 
 
 44 Fiom Pride and Scandal ever free, 
 
 " And from difguftful Prudery : 
 
 *' In Habit neat, in Perfon clean, 
 
 " A Stranger to corroding Spleen ; 
 
 " A Voice to charm my Soul to Reft, 
 
 * Whene'er by worldly Cares oppreft; 
 
 " No fiery Zealot in Religion, 
 
 M A Soul defpifing Superftition ; 
 
 " Whofe Senfe directs her how to blend 
 
 ' The Wife, the Lover, and the Friend:* 
 
 " In ev'ry Shape above Difguife, 
 
 M Her Soul depiclur'd in her Eyes; 
 
 *' A Fortune eafy and fecure, 
 
 ** Tho' that fhou'd be my fmalleft Lure: 
 
 " Ent'ring
 
 [ 212 1 
 
 w Ent'ring my Doors, I'd have her meet me 
 
 With Smiles, and ftill with Welcomes 
 
 " greet me : 
 " Wou'd Jove in Pity hear my Pray'r, 
 " And blefs my Days with fuch a Fair, 
 " I'd never quit fo rich a Treafure, 
 " To roam abroad in Search of Pleafure ; 
 " But ufe my ev'ry Pow'r and Art, 
 " To win, and to preferve her Heart." 
 
 Thus D pray'd; and Father Jove 
 Heard ev'ry Syllable above. 
 
 Quo' Jove" A modeft, droll quelque Chofe, 
 He'll nought for Want of afking lofe j 
 " Suppofe for once the Whim I try, 
 " And with the Youth's Addrefs comply; 
 " He's been a loofe young Spark, I'm fure, 
 " Who knows but this may work a Cure; 
 He don't want Senfe ; he may amend ; 
 'Tis a long Lane that knows no End : 
 " Here, Hymen, take your Torch and fly, 
 Qyick, in the Twinkling of an Eye, 
 
 " Fly to Mifs E , of r~i, 
 
 You'll find her bufy at her Work ; 
 c She don't, like other Ladies, kill 
 " Her Time in Scandal or Quadrille, 
 " Or reading paltry, dull Romances, 
 " To fill her Brain with foolifh Fancies ; 
 
 .. " Tho'
 
 [ 2r 3 ] 
 
 < Tho' full of Cheerfulnefs and Spirit, 
 
 c She fcorns to mifemploy her Merit ; 
 
 4 In ufeful Sort her Hours fhe fpends, 
 
 1 In working, chatting with her Friends, 
 
 ' Or reading, where {he's fure to find, 
 
 * A Banquet worthy of her Mind; 
 
 * In walking, or at Church in Pray'r, 
 ' (She's not afham'd of going there) 
 
 ' Prefent her as a Gift from Jove ; 
 
 ' And you, my little God of Love, 
 
 ' Juft at the Inftant tske him flap " 
 
 4 As you know how beneath Left Pap, 
 
 4 And on the Fair, with twanging Bow, 
 
 4 The felf-fame Compliment beftow :- 
 
 4 But fhould the Youth ungrateful prove, 
 
 ' And ceafe to Cherijh and to Love, 
 
 4 Tell him With Punifhments I'll teaze him, 
 
 c A thoufand Pains and Achs fhall feize him ; 
 
 1 And in Terrorem to bad Spoufes, 
 
 ' I'll burn his Pictures; Books, and Houfes; 
 
 ' Nay, worfe than all the Blemng giv'n, 
 
 4 I'll re-afiume, and fnatch to Heav'n : 
 
 4 But hold, I'm rather too fevere, 
 
 4 To threaten thus, 'ere Faults appear ; 
 
 4 For Gratitude, with Senfe and Truth, 
 
 * Have ever harbour'd in the Youth j 
 
 ' And Honour, Cement to the whole, 
 
 4 Is rooted in his inmoft Soul : 
 
 Tell
 
 [ "4 1 
 
 " Tell him, in fhort, he may depend 
 
 " On Jove if Conftant as his Friend." 
 
 The Me/Tage giv'n Quick from the Sky 
 To Y--k the winged Couriers fly ; 
 And to the wifhing Youth convey 
 The yielding Msid ('like fragrant May 
 Blufhing, when doom'd her glowing Charms 
 To her belov'd Zephyrus' Armsj 
 Kneeling, the Blefiing he receives, 
 And fcarce his ravifh'd Sight believes : 
 Cupidy fly Rogue ! with barbed Darts, 
 Transfixes both the Lovers' Hearts ; 
 The Gordian Knot while Hymen frames, 
 His Torch ne'er fent forth brighter Flames; 
 Nor has it fince been trimm'd, they fay, 
 But burns ftill brighter ev'ry Day j 
 And Jove upon his Honour fwears, 
 CI mean, 'pon Honour he declares ) 
 He ne'er a happier Couple knew, 
 More kind, more loving, and more true. 
 
 M 
 
 D E-
 
 r m ] 
 
 DELICACY. 
 
 TpALSE Delicacy, Poppy-crown'd and chafte, 
 "* Meer Water-Gruel, flat and void of Taftej 
 A Rainbow Being, nourifli'd long in France, 
 Her Parents Affeclation and Romance ; 
 A Sentimental Mifs, fo wond'rous good, 
 Shefcorns, or feems tofcorn, meer Flefli and Blood 
 With Looks demure, and prim as antique Maid, 
 When all her wou'd-be Virtues aredifplay'd; 
 To cheerful Wit and Humour Foe profeft, 
 f Humour and Wit your Buckram Prudes deteftj 
 If the infipid Trifler you wou'd know, 
 Our modern Comedies the Nothing (how; 
 In Novels chief the flimfey Shadow reigns, 
 By Nymphs ador'd, and eke by Nymph-likc 
 Swains. 
 
 Not fo True Delicacy, heav'nly Fair, 
 Whofe Parents fmiling Truth and Nature arc, 
 To Virtue's ten.d'reft Feelings tho' inclin'd, 
 Yet unreferv'd, and of a cheerful Mind ; 
 Tho' chafte, yet free tho' humble, never mean, 
 A Foe to Piide, to Prudery, and the Spleen \ 
 Aided by her, Nature a Polifh takes, 
 And genial Fancy every happy wakes j 
 Open to Pleafure, oft is feen to fmile, 
 Nor thinks ban Mots, tho' Janus- fac'd, defile; 
 
 Wou'd
 
 [ ** ] 
 
 Wou'd you the Portrait of the Fair furvey, 
 View her in Terence, Sbakefpeare, Fielding, Gay\ 
 Graceful in Smiles fhe evermore appears, 
 Nor Earth-born Gnomes with Critic Goofe- 
 quills fears. 
 
 Falfe Delicacy points the opiate Way, 
 Where fickly Affeclation bears the Sway ; - 
 True Delicacy points th' enliv'ning Road, 
 Where Virtue, Truth, and Nature make Abode. 
 
 X3CK&X&X 
 X&X&X 
 
 Tht
 
 [ 217 ] 
 
 The LAMENTATION of a MOUSE 
 in a Trap. 
 
 I. 
 
 " T TNbappy Maid ! within this wiry Cave, 
 %^J Death's certain Summons doom'd, alas, 
 to wait ! 
 Shall curft Grimalkin sGwts prove Muzzfs Grave? 
 So young ! In Pleafure's Spring to meet my 
 Fate ? 
 
 ir. 
 
 Thofe Jet-bead Eyes, that fir'd Beholders' Hearts, 
 This Velvet Skin, fmail Ears, and Needle 
 Claws ! 
 Thofe Whifkers, (often ftil'd Love's keener! 
 Darts) 
 Mull they be crulh'd within a Murderer's Jaws ? 
 
 III. , 
 Was it for this, with daintier! Morfels fed, 
 From the fcoop'd Cheefe, or Bacon's taftc- 
 ful Side, 
 Mamma with Tendernefs her Muzzy bred, 
 
 Clafp'd me, and call'd me ftill her Little Pride? 
 
 T Oft
 
 t 218 1 
 
 IV. 
 
 Oft wou'd fhe cry^ " My dear, my beft-lov'd 
 
 " Care, 
 Touch not your Prey, 'till well the Place 
 you fcan; 
 Grimalkin! Of that Monfter, oh beware! 
 " And that more favage Two-legg'd Monfter, 
 " Man." 
 
 V. 
 
 J 9 wretched I unheedful of her Love, 
 
 My Duty's Forfeit now untimely pay ; 
 
 Be warn'd by me, nor thus rebellious prove, 
 Ye Mice ! but ah ! your Parents' Lore obey, 
 
 VI. 
 
 To poor Papa had this fad Hour been giv'n, 
 How wou'd the Sight his tender Bofom wound ! 
 
 But poor Papa (fuch the high Will of Heav'n!) 
 Laft Jpril-dzy was in a Cream-Bowl drown'd. 
 
 VII. 
 
 Where now thofe gay coquettifh Breezes ? 
 
 Where ? 
 That erft fo many youthful Hearts have won ? 
 In Swarms to Muzzy s Hole wont to repair, 
 And fwear her Beauties far outflione the Sun. 
 
 They
 
 t 219 i 
 
 vnr. 
 
 They call'd me Goddefs : Said, " My Frown 
 
 " or Smile 
 " Cou'd fave or doom to Death the nibbling 
 " Breed f 
 Ye mortal GoddefTes of Albion s Ifle, 
 
 Oh ! think Ev'n Goddefs Muzzy 1 doom'd 
 
 to bleed. 
 
 IX. 
 
 And muft I die ? No more Squeekero's Strain 
 (Squeekero! loveliefr. Youth of youthful Micef) 
 
 Shall flatt'ring Homage pay; in Hopes to gain 
 That Heart, whofe Worth he fwore was paft 
 all Price. 
 
 X. 
 
 His lengthen'd Tail! But, ah, that Tail 
 
 no more, 
 
 Nor Heroe's Form again fhall blefs my Sight; 
 His Wit, which fet the Table on a Roar, 
 
 Poor Muzzy' & Soul fhall ne'er again delight. 
 
 XI. 
 
 How oft, Squeeforo, have you vow'd u NoPow'r 
 On Earth, from yourE mbracefhou'dMuzzy tear/* 
 
 Let not Grimalkin's fpiked Jaws devour, 
 
 But from this horrid Cave your Muzzy bear. 
 
 T 2 Methinks.
 
 [ 220 ] 
 
 xir. 
 
 Me thinks the fell Devourer I efpy, 
 
 With Eyes like fiery Suns that flafli forth 
 Dread ; 
 And Tail like threat'ning Comet rais'd on high, 
 
 And Giant Paw, prepar'd to ftrike me dead. 
 
 XIII.. 
 
 ?No Parent, Lover, Friend, at that fad Hour, 
 On Lightning's Wings to fly with vengeful Aid ! 
 
 And can ye Can ye let the Fiend devour 
 
 Ah me ! Your Darling your poor little Maid? 
 
 XIV. 
 
 Squeekero! Parents ! Friends! like Lightning fly, 
 
 Bring Armies quick tear, rend this 
 
 hated Jail : 
 
 No Parent, Lover, Friend alas is nigh 
 
 Nor cou'd whole Armies in this Cafe avail. 
 
 XV. 
 
 Ah no! Squeekero! Parents! Come not near, 
 Left your fond Heart fhould break to fee 
 me thus : 
 
 To your wife Precepts had I lent an Ear, 
 Poor Muzzy had not fall'n a Prey to Pufs. 
 
 The
 
 C 221 ] 
 
 XVI. 
 
 The Bait, which but a few fhort Minutes paft, 
 
 . So tempting, now how hateful to mine Eyes! 
 Repentance oft attends a liquorifh Tafte; 
 
 From Muzzys Fate learn, Maidens, to be wife. 
 
 XVII. 
 
 A certain Judgment (fuch Heav'n's wife Decree) 
 Attends the Wretch who not a Parent hears; 
 
 But hark the dreadful Latch is rais'd and fee 
 Have Mercy, Heav'n ! a Two-legg'd Fiend 
 appears." 
 
 XVIII. 
 
 She faid and, trembling, fweeps the Wiresj 
 
 when, lo! 
 
 Murd'rous Grimalkin^ darting baleful Fires, 
 Enters the Room: All Nature feels the Blow; 
 
 Poor Muzzy fqueeks, and with a Nip expires. 
 
 t 3
 
 C 222. } 
 
 An EPILOGUE. 
 
 Spoken by Airs P. in the Cbarafter <?/Hypolita, 
 in She Wou'd or Wou'd Not. 
 
 THERE'S Something furely in this Drefa 
 infpires, 
 And with unufual Glee and Courage fires ; 
 For thus accoutred Damme Who's afraid 
 Of bluft'ring Blood or Buck, or ev'n Cockade ? 
 For a cool Thruft if any are inclin'd, 
 Let 'em approach in me their Man they'll find: 
 Their Man, I fay More Title I can fhow 
 To Man than many a puny, trifling Beau. 
 
 Were it a Rule a Rule by all agreed, 
 That none fhou'd pafs for Men, but Men indeed, 
 How, mighty Sirs, would your large Numbers 
 
 dwindle, 
 And Swords be chang'd to DiftafFand to Spindle. 
 
 At public Places with my Opera Glafs, 
 I cou'd fhine out a Buck of the Firft Clafs: 
 " Afine Piece that, my Lord a damn'dfineFace; 
 
 ^ She's quite the Thing Bon Soir->A Girl's 
 
 the Cafe : 
 
 " A
 
 Si A Bagnio and' a Supper: She's my own: 
 " She has me in her Eye Tres bumb. I'm gone.'* 
 
 X_ Sings, Love and IVine give ye Gods, or take back, &c.j 
 
 Suppofe, in Time of War, a Female Band 
 Shou'd, for the Honour o, their Native Land, 
 In Regimental Uniforms appear, 
 (Come, come, good Sirs, you need not laugh 
 
 and fneer) 
 A Britijh J?nazonian Band, if -led 
 
 By Major General P at their Head, 
 
 Not Ptujfia's King, the Heroe of the Age, 
 With Us, brave as he is, wou'd dare engage. 
 
 And at Reviews, there we fhou'd doubly fhine; 
 When dreft and powder'd we fhou'd look divine: 
 How graceful to the Fife fhou'd we advance! 
 Keep Time and Step by Step half march- 
 half dance : 
 
 \_H urns aMinuetTune^and takes 'em off in tbeirMarching.'} 
 
 We'd charge, prime, cock, difcharge, recharge- 
 then fhoulder; 
 And like Militia Men look bold nay bolder : 
 Now to the Right Now to the Left and then 
 We're quicker in our Motions far than Men. 
 
 If, my good Female Friends, with me you'll 
 join, 
 And a Petition to this Purpofe fignj 
 
 The
 
 [ 224 ] 
 
 The Parliament now fits; irf T fair City, 
 
 We could of Heroines tho' Brave yet Pretty, 
 A Regiment raife: Perhaps, as a Reward, 
 The King may chufe Us for his Body Guard; 
 *And if he fhou'd (may Heav'n's beft Love at- 
 tend him !) 
 We'd proudly lay our Lives down to defend him. 
 
 
 M
 
 [ 225 ] 
 
 An EPILOGUE. 
 
 By Araminta, in the Confederacy. 
 
 OUR Poet, tho' for Wit and Humour fam'd, 
 For Want of Moral has been fometimeS 
 blam'd j 
 Unjuftly fure: The Characters he paints, 
 I own, refemble Sinners more than Saints : 
 But Sinners fhou'd be brought upon the Stage, 
 (For fuch there are, ev'n in this Biejfed Age) 
 Or how fhou'd We, fo Virtuous and fo Good, 
 Learn to avoid the Snares of Flefh and Blood : 
 Vice here expos'd, as Vice, is fully fhown; 
 Old Nick, by his Club-P'oot is always known. 
 
 Ye naughty Hufbands, and ye naughty Wives, 
 From what ye'vefeen, learn to amend your Lives; 
 But chief, ye Gripes and Moneytraps> for You 
 Our Moral Bard his Moral LefTon drew : 
 Be Generous ; nor abroad for Pleafure roam, 
 Hunt not for Game which you may flart at Home; 
 Confider, Wives forfaken can with Eafe 
 Repay you- Tit for Tat -whene'er they pleafe; 
 While you intrigue Abroad, devoid of Grace, 
 A Cicejbey may fill your vacant Place : 
 For loving Wives take it extremely ill, 
 When Hufbands fmuggle Grift to a ftrange Mill. 
 
 When
 
 f 226 1 
 
 When in the Matrimonial Knot we're bound, 
 The Obligation Mutual fliould be found ; 
 For Bills of Rights our Lordly Mates contend, 
 We too have Rights and Charters to defend j 
 On flow Petitions They their Hopes may build, 
 We'll boldly dare our Rulers to the Field ; 
 Where Face to Face, fhou'd they our Prowefs try, 
 Poor Souls ! we'd cool their Courage prefently. 
 Let us at lead: an equal Pow'r maintain, 
 And like King Will and Mary jointly reign. 
 
 Ye mighty Sirs, who aim at fov'reign Sway, 
 And think poor Wives are born but to obey, 
 If you wou'd have us true to Honour's Race, 
 Be you our Guides we'll follow in the Chace: 
 Adhere yourfelves to this fame ivond'rous Plan, 
 We promife to be good- as e'er we can. 
 
 ay** 
 
 rfo
 
 C a7 3 
 
 72* CONTEST, 
 A V i s i o n. 
 
 LAST Night, as mufing on my Bed I lay, 
 AndMimicFancy rul'd with boundlefs Sway, 
 Sleep gently lull'd my Faculties to Reft, 
 And Fairy Mab with Magic charm'd my Breaft; 
 Methought I flood near Helicon's fam'd Stream* 
 (Critics, obferve all this was but a Dream:) 
 Where Tragedy, with flow and ftately Pace, 
 And keen-ey'd Comedy, with fmiling Grace, 
 
 Two Sifter Mufes feem'd in warm Debate, 
 
 Who beft deferv'd Pre-eminence of State. 
 
 *' With Jove's own Bird the fhort-wing'd 
 
 " Wren might vie, 
 * And perch on Heav'n's high Palace in the Sky 
 -*' (Exclaims Melpomene) as You with Me 
 " Conteft prefume in Rank and Dignity : 
 M Courts, Heroes, Kings my Verfe fublim 
 
 " require, 
 <c You diftant gaze nor dare Co high afpire : 
 " Ev'n in the inmoft Chambers of the Soul, 
 " The fierceft Paftions own my vaft Controulj 
 c While you in lightfome Strains, with tickling 
 
 " Smart, 
 Play rouid the Head, but feldom touch the 
 
 " tfeart: 
 
 In
 
 [ 22& ] 
 
 " In a fuperior Orbit, Io ! I fhine ; 
 
 " Thijik not, vain Girl, your Merit equals mine.'' 
 
 c * Cloud-hawling Sifter, quit your high Abode. 
 " And, if you can, defcend toReafon's Road," 
 (Cries Comedy, and curtfey'd as fhe fpokej 
 -" My Laughter, not my Anger you provoke: 
 < Our Stations Father Jove fix'd here below, 
 il In Virtue's Caufe to combat ev'ry Foe; 
 -" Our Mirrors to erect, and teach Mankind 
 ** Self-Knowledge in the Portrait of the Mind; 
 " Vice to unmafk, and Folly to expofe, 
 " And fliew them, as from Hell they naked rofe: 
 "Your Province, Vice Mine, Folly, our 
 
 Succefs 
 * c The different Afpes of our Foes confefs : 
 ** Courts, you avow, is your peculiar Sphere . 
 Whatmighty Wonders has yourGlafs wrought 
 
 " there ? 
 ** Are Kings and penfion'd Courtiers more inclin'd 
 " To Virtue, than the reft of Humankind ? 
 " Ah, Sifter! if Mankind I juftly read, 
 " Courts are unfriendly Soils for Virtue's Seed 
 ** Ev'n there when Rainbow-/*//? meets your 
 
 " Eyes, 
 "* Abafh'd, the Coward veils in Wifdonis Guife; 
 " While bare-fac'd Vice with Frontlet glares 
 
 ofBrafs, 
 u Nor blufhes at her Portrait in the Glafs. 
 
 'Tis
 
 [ 228 ] 
 
 'Tis mine, with this keen Lafh of Ridicule, 
 " Tickling to probe each Folly-govern'd Fool; 
 " To no one Sphere confined, I hunt my Game, 
 " Or Country, City, Court to me the fame: 
 " Equal with you, through the "blue vaulted Sky 
 <c On founding Pinions at my Will I fly - t * 
 " Yet never foar fo high, to Reafon true, 
 " But Land-mark Nature ftill I keep in View : 
 5 Your vain Pre-eminence, fweet Girl, refign, 
 " If any- that Pre-eminence is mine." 
 
 All this fly Opera heard, and with a Trill 
 Which Echo anfwer'd from Parnajfus Hill, 
 Her Claim preferred :---" In vain your Pov/'rs 
 
 " ye boaft j 
 ** Know, Sifters, that 'tis Opera rules theRoaft: 
 * c Mortals by Me pofleft, now laugh, now cry, 
 " Expire, revive, and all they know not why: 
 " On Mufic's Wings my Votaries are caught 
 " To Heav'n, freed from the galling Chain of 
 
 *' Thought." 
 < That Mufic's Charms can footh the Savage 
 
 " Beaft, 
 <e Among your favourite Britons ftands confeft; 
 *< Let your own Fanes, Drury and Ccvent tell, 
 " Whether or You or Opera bears the Bell: 
 
 U The 
 
 * Interdum Vocem ioltit ComxJia. 

 
 [ 229 ] 
 
 < The Mountain-nurtur'd Swift, whofe callous 
 
 " Souls, 
 " Not all your Pathos or your Wit controuls, 
 '** To Me fubmiflive humbler! Homage pay, 
 " And live or die obedient to my Sway;* 
 " And what my Influence proves beyond Compare, 
 " Cajlratoi now are Favourites of the Fair." 
 
 Melpomene, with Looks of cold Difdain, 
 (Looks, which ev'n more th:mWords her Thought* 
 
 explain) 
 Juft glanc'd Contempt, nor des'gn'd to make Reply; 
 When thus, with Mirth replete, brifk Comedy 
 Retorts ; *' Thou mere Vacuity ! Thou Thing 
 
 " of Air! 
 " Tn Merit fhall Sol fa with us compare ! 
 *' Hence, and thy Diftance know, and thank 
 
 ** kind Heav'n, 
 " If in our Train an humble Lot is giv'n : 
 At beft, the outward Flourifh you difpenfe 
 ' To deck and ornament Dramatic Senfe; 
 
 V. Shall 
 
 * As a linking Inftance of the Power of Mufic, the Swifs, 
 who are not a People of the quickeft Smfation, are faid to 
 Inve ai this Time a Tune, which, when played upon their 
 Fifes, infpire* them with fuch a Dtfire of revifiiing their na- 
 tive Country, that if prevented, they JUnguifh and die of 
 Grief. This Tune is therefore, under fevire Penalties, for- 
 bid to be pl.iyed by the Sivifs Regiments in foreign Serrice, 
 a* it wou'd infallibly caufe them to deicrt.
 
 C 230 1 
 
 ec Shall Truth and Nature, like a frothy Beau, 
 * Fix all their Merit in vain empty Show?" 
 
 More flie had faid, but Pkcsbus from his Throne, 
 Thus flopp'd Debate, and Jove's high Will 
 made known ; 
 
 " Sifters, for Shame! (he cry'd) Your Strife 
 
 " forbear, 
 " Mufe againf}. Mufe is mod unnatural War;* 
 *' To moralize and polifli Humankind, 
 * Is the great Tafk by Parent Jove aiiign'd j 
 " Your Mirrors to erecl: to human Eyes, 
 *' And make Mankind more happy, good, and wife. 
 
 " To combat Giant Vice, to mend the Heart, 
 " To drav/ forth Virtue's Tears- and Joys impart, 
 " Which none but Good and Feeling Souk 
 
 " can know, 
 " Be Yours, Melpomene .----While Folly's Foe 
 " Tbaiia Hands confeft ; and Heart and Head 
 " Frees from thofe Weeds, too apt tooverfpread 
 M The Human Soil : Oft-times the richeflGround 
 " Will, if neglected, mod in Weeds abound : 
 " Large and extenfive either Scenic Field, 
 " Equal the mutual Benefits they yield ; 
 " Equal be then your Rank : 'Tis Jove's 
 
 " Decree, 
 ** Henceforth ye live in kindred Amity, 
 " Nor either claim unjuft Precedency. 
 
 U 2 "By 
 
 * Dunce againft Dunce i molt unnatural "War. Pope.
 
 I 331 1 
 
 " By Senfe prepar'd to raife the Soul on high 
 M To Heav'n, upon the Wings of Harmony, 
 *' Opera, that Tafk be Yours: But, Unprepared 
 " By Senfe, in vain'thre Strain delufive's heard : 
 t{ Your Province is to fee your pleafing Aid, 
 *' Dependent, at your Sifters' Call difplay'd : 
 *' Aided by thee, they fooner fhall controul, 
 " And" pour the Balm of Virtue in the Soul ; 
 " But for the Lead---to that drop all Pretence, 
 '* .Sound ftill muft yield Precedency to Senfe: 
 " They never in the Vanguard fhou'd appear, 
 Whofe Station's fix'd by Heaven in the Rear: 
 * Fricr.ds all ! Henceforth like Sifters kindly love, 
 " And Heav'n and Earth the Union will ap.- 
 " prove. 
 
 To jove's Award the Sifters lowly bow'd, 
 And clofe embracing, mutual Friendfhip vow'd; 
 Link'd like the Graces Hand in Hand they fped, 
 The Watchman call'd the Hour -.The Vifionfled. 
 
 fcj 
 
 T,
 
 I 23* T 
 
 Xo C L E. Bagging a Reconciliations 
 
 * riT^ WIXT Si ants fam'd Kingdom znd-Avtts 
 
 JL Domains,* 
 
 When long-banifh'd Peace a Re-union attains, 
 As. Emblem of Love, and Extinction of Hate, 
 A Hole is dug deep in the Midft of each State; 
 The Earth ta'en from .Ava's rich Soil is trans- 
 
 ferr'd, 
 And quickly in Siam's deep Bowels interr'd; 
 While that dug from Siam in friendly Return, 
 Finds honour'd Interment in Ava's dark Urn; 
 Dear Cloe, fweet Cloe, let Peace be announc'd, 
 Your Terms I iubmit to, whatever pronounc'd ; 
 
 But, oh ! that our Union more lafting may, 
 
 prove, 
 Let's twine on the Olive the Rofes of Love; 
 Like Siam and Ava our Ffiendfhip atieft, 
 And deeply interr'd in each other, find Reft. 
 
 * Two Neighbouring Kingdoms in the Enfi-JniUu- 
 
 
 U"3
 
 [ a 33 3 
 On Mifi , fanning her/elf. 
 
 PANTING with Heat from SoPs unnerving 
 Rays, 
 A Fan unfurl'd the lovely Nymph difplays; 
 The fluttering Toy awakes the dormant Breeze> 
 And to her throbbing Breaft gives cooly Eafe: 
 
 The waving Tucker, Wind-impell'd (Oh 
 
 Heav'n! 
 Wou'd to my Lot that Blifs fupreme were giv'n !) 
 Playfully wanton, now with KifTes greets 
 Thofe Lilly-cover'd Hills of breathing Sweets; 
 Now flowing back, to the charm'd Gazer {hows 
 A fairer Heav'n than ev'n Elyfium knows ; 
 The heaving Mounds alternate fall and rife, 
 Darting bewitching Poifon to our Eyes; 
 While Cupid laughing, from his flopy Vale, 
 Pouis flaming Arrows thick as Storms of Hail ; 
 Above the Battery of her Stays now peeps, 
 Flackers his Wings, -then downward, nettling, 
 
 creeps 
 To purling Streams, and confecrated Groves, 
 The hallow'd Birth-place of his Mother's Doves ; 
 Where lies, conceal'd from vulgar Eyes, Love's 
 
 Seat, 
 His Sans Souci, his favourite Retreat. 
 
 Can
 
 t *34 I 
 
 Can that which Coolnefs to the Fair imparts, 
 Thus raife a Wild-fire in Beholders' Hearts? * 
 In Mercy, heav'nly Maid, our Pains redrefs, 
 And kindly give us more, or Jhova us lefs. 
 
 To Mr W , on bis Edition of Shakefpeare* 
 
 w 
 
 HEN Shakefpeare's tow'ring Genius, 
 Up to the Heav'ns wou'd moot, 
 You pull him from his Pegafus> 
 And make him walk on Foot. 
 
 
 #%##^ 
 
 PHIL-
 
 i 35 y 
 
 P H I L L I S. 
 
 I. 
 
 TH U S my Head to Heart faid, 
 " Zoons, what is the Matter, 
 " You jump fo, and thump fo, 
 " And make fuch a Clatter?" 
 " Vm wounded^ confounded, 
 
 " And Jiruck with a Dart, 
 From the Eyes of fair Phillis," 
 Replies my poor Heart. 
 
 n. 
 
 No "Wonder you thunder, 
 
 And fwell fo with Grief; 
 * If you're wife, fliun thole Eyes-, 
 
 " And (eek elfewhere Relief." 
 Poh, a Ft," cries my Heart, 
 
 " My Flume Til ne'er father-, 
 <* From her, I'd prefer 
 
 " Dtath, to Life with another,. 
 
 m. 
 
 " So witty, fo pretty y 
 
 " Her Senfe fo refi'dy, 
 " Her Mein, like Jove's ghteert, 
 
 " And fuch Gtodnefs of Mind*. 
 
 " 0*.
 
 I 236 J 
 
 " On her BreaJ, that f oft Nejt, 
 
 " Woiid to Heav'n 'twere my Homt\ 
 
 " Doubly blejl, there Td re/?, 
 
 " Nor henceforward wou'd roam" 
 
 IV. 
 
 So faid, away fled 
 
 My poor Heart in Defpair, 
 And fighing, kept trying 
 
 To foften the Fair : 
 She bouncing, and flouncing, 
 
 Show'd nought but Difdain j 
 While fhiv'ring, broke and quiv'ring,. 
 
 My poor Heart was flain* 
 
 V.. 
 
 At rnoft, like a Ghoft, 
 
 Now I wander about,. 
 While Phillis, her Will is,. 
 
 To jeer, (n&er, and flout : 
 Tho' I talk, eat,, and walk,. 
 
 And on Roaft Beef regale; 
 Tho' I laugh, fing and q.ua ff 
 
 Yet I'm dead a& Door Nail,
 
 C 237 ] 
 
 On reading feme E AS T E R N T A L E S, 
 
 lately publijhed. 
 
 THESE Eaflern Tales, fo prettily expreft, 
 (Effufions from theGoofe-quills of the IVeJt) 
 Thofe frigid Nothings fpeak their Mud-fprung 
 
 Birth, 
 Their Parents Mole-ey'd Gnomes, incor'd with 
 
 Earth; 
 While HawkfwortFs Eagle Genius foars on high, 
 Wings to the Eajlern Chambers of the Sky ; 
 There the enraptur'd Bard the God infpires, 
 And with his Oriental Magic fires ; 
 His Pow'r Sprites, Demons, Genii, all confefs i 
 He paints and Fancy wears her richeft Drefs: 
 The Tali/man his Pen, that charms at Will, 
 Not Salomon cou'd ufe it with more Skill: 
 Invention glows while Virtue guides each Line; 
 
 We read we feel the Magic all Divine. 
 
 Ye paltry Scriblers hide your feeble Rays, 
 Hawkfworth alone can pour the Eajlern Blaze. 
 
 The
 
 I 238 3 
 
 The CONNOISSEUR.* 
 
 IN that fam'd Room where Artifts drive. 
 True Tafte and Genius to revive, f 
 Where Modern Guidos put in Claim, 
 Contending for the Wreath of Fame; 
 Where Virtus Sons with great Precifion 
 Their Knowledge prove by wife Decifton ; 
 A Judge allow'd, a Connoijfeur, 
 With Buckram Gait, and Phiz demure, 
 Noting a Piece, on which the Crowd 
 Unufual Compliments beflow'd, 
 His Glafs firft peeps thro' with an Air, 
 (True Connoijfeurs fhort-fi ghted are) 
 The Painting carelefly furvey'd, 
 And when inform'd 'twas Englijh made, 
 Thus to an Elbow-Friend, with Look 
 
 Oracularly Cynic, fpoke : 
 
 " Sure never was Performance feen, 
 " More Gothic, taftelefs, Jifelefs, mean: 
 Painting ! 'Tis Canvafs fpoil'd! Oh, Gad ! 
 " 'Tis daubing ! Execrable ! Sad ! 
 
 " No 
 
 * The Thought on which thi* Fable is founded, was taken 
 from the ingenious Mr Stevens's Lecture on Heads. 
 
 f The Exhibition -Room in the Strand.
 
 [ 239 ] 
 
 f* No Colouring! Keeping! And fuch Clare- 
 Obfcure / All Englife! All Barbare! 
 " And how unnaturally (hows 
 " That ill-made Fly on the vile Rofe ! 
 ' A Fly ! 'tis no more like" When quick, 
 Pointing toward the Fly his Stick, 
 To prove his Criticifm true, 
 Away the little Infect flew. 
 
 FIN 
 
 x&x&x&x 
 
 x&x&x 
 
 x&x
 
 This book is DUE on the last 
 date stamped below 
 
 Rtt'D ID 
 
 J AH 12 1 
 
 1976 
 
 AU690 1985 
 
 10m-ll, '50(2555)470
 
 UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY 
 
 A A 000 079 65