THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES GIFT OF JAMES J. MC BRIDE MRS. M'LERIE " ' I tell ye, wumman, I'm no' gaun to tak' it ! ' MRS. M'LERIE BY J. J. BELL AUTHOR OF "WEE MACGEEEGOE" NEW YORK THE CENTURY CO. 1904 Copyright, 1903, by THE CENTURY Co. Copyright, 1903, by FRANK LKSLIE PUBLISHING House Copyright, 1903, by J. J. BELL Published, January, 1904 THE DEVINNE PRESS PR CONTENTS PAGE I ON THE CRAFT ........ 3 ii THE COUNTRY VISIT ..... 21 m MRS. M'LERIE VISITS THE Zoo . 39 iv THE RAFFLE TICKET ..... 56 v MRS. MUNRO'S PARTY ..... 69 vi MRS. M'LERIE is DEPRESSED . . 81 VH AN AFFRONT ........ 98 VHI THE JUMBLE SALE ...... 109 ix MRS. M'LERIE'S COAST VISIT . . 122 x THE CANARY ........ 134 xi A DISTINGUISHED VISITOR . . . 149 XII JlMSIE ........... 165 xiii MRS. DUMPHY CALLS ..... 183 xiv JOHN MUNRO M'CULLOCH . . . .197 xv MR. M'LERIE'S CONVALESCENCE . 214 718488 MRS. M'LERIE MRS. M'LERIE ON THE CRAFT IT wis a peety yer man cudna gang wi ' ye to Mistress Robison 's pairty on Thursday nicht," observed Mrs. M'Lerie to her old friend who had dropped in to enjoy a * 'dish o' tea" and a chat. "It wis a peety," returned Mrs. Munro, "fur it wis a rale nice pairty, an' we got finnan haddies an' hard-biled eggs to wur suppers, an ' ma man 's fair daft fur finnan haddies an' hard-biled eggs. 'Deed, when I seen the dish on the table, I thocht to maseP, it wis maybe jist as weel he wisna there, fur I 'm aye a wee thing feart o' bein' affrontit when MRS. M'LERIE he gets finnan eggs an' hard-biled bad- dies ach! I mean the ither thing in comp'ny. He jist losses hissel', as it were, in the enjyement o' the moment, an' although I Ve checkit him a dizzen times fur savin' the gravy till the end an' then suppin' it wi' his tea-spune, he aye furgets. I 'm no' settin' up to be high-cless gentry, Mistress M'Lerie, but I dinna think it 's vera nice to baud yer gravy till a ' the ither folk has feenished theirs. It 's no' fair to the ither folk. But it 's ma guidman's yin fau't, an' maybe I sudna say onythin' aboot it." "It '11 never be repeated oot o' ma mooth, Mistress Munro. The vera best o' folk has some failin', an' it 's no' fur you nor me to judge them. An' maybe yer man, if he had been at the pairty, wud ha'e mindit no' to save his gravy." "I believe ye 're richt, Mistress M'Le- ON THE CRAFT rie. Hooever, I never tell 't him whit we had to wur supper, fur I didna want to disappint him. Ye see, he cudna gang to Mistress Robison's because it wis his ludge meetin', an' he disna like to miss that." "Whit 's that?" said Mrs. M'Lerie, looking puzzled. "His ludge meetin'. He 's a Mason, ye ken." "A mason? Ye mean a plumber. He 's shairly no' changed his trade at his time o' life." ' * Tits ! ' ' exclaimed the visitor, with a laugh. "He 's a Freemason, Mistress M'Lerie." "A Freemason, Mistress Munro ! Oh, ye 're no' tellin' me yer man 's a Free- mason ! ' ' "An' whit fur no? He 's been a Mason since afore we wis mairrit, an' that wisna yesterday." MRS. M'LERIE 1 1 Dearie me ! " sighed her friend. * * I never thocht that o ' him. A dacent man like him! Weel, weel, I 'm vexed to hear ye say that. A Freemason ! ' ' "Guidsake, wumman," cried Mrs. Munro, not without indignation in her tone. "An', if ye please, whit 's wrang aboot bein' a Mason?" 1 'Aw, I best no' say onythin'. Yer burden 's ower heavy wi 'oot me makin ' it waur. Sirs, the day ! A Freemason ! ' ' And Mrs. M' Lerie groaned dismally. "I wud be obleeged if ye wud explain yersel'," said Mrs. Munro, very stiffly. "Dinna be offendit, Mistress Munro. Maybe I sudna ha'e spoke, but it wis aff ma tongue afore I kent. Ye see ' ' Did ye no ' mean it ? " demanded the other, whose usually placid countenance was red and angry. "Ay, I meant it, but I didna mean to vex ye. It 's no' your fau't yer man 's ON THE CRAFT a Freemason. I 'm no' blamin' you, Mistress Munro, I 'm no ' blamin ' you. ' ' For a quarter of a minute Mrs. Munro sat speechless with wrath. Then, with a great effort, she said in a strained voice: "I ask ye again to explain yer dark sayin 's, Mistress M' Lerie. ' ' Mrs. M' Lerie looked nervously at her old friend. "Weel, ye see," she began, stumblingly, "ma man 's no' haudin' wi' ony o' thae secret societies, an' I 'm no' haudin' wi' them either." "Secret societies! Ye wud think ye wis talkin' aboot fenians an' nilists an' gun-poother plots an' an' " "Aweel, it 's a' yin," said Mrs. M' Le- rie, mildly. "It 's no' a' yin! Whit dae you an' yer man ken aboot Freemasons? Tell me that!" "Och, dinna flee up, Mistress Munro, dinna flee up." 8 MRS. M'LERIE * * I 'm no ' fleein ' up, Mistress M' Lerie. I 'm jist askin' ye a question, an' I '11 be greatly obleeged fur yer answer. ' ' "I wisna intendin' fur to insult yer guidman. I only said I wis vexed lie wis a Freemason." "That 's nae answer to ma question. Whit dae you an' yer man ken aboot Freemasons I ' ' "Whit dae ye ken yersel', Mistress Munro!" Mrs. Munro looked rather foolish. Recovering her dignity, but not her tem- per, she said angrily: "It 's jist like yer man, wi' a' his prayer-meetin 's an' psawm-singin ', to speak ill o' dacent folk. Ay." Mrs. M' Lerie recoiled as if she had received a slap in the face. "I never said ma man said onythin' ag'in' Free- masons. He 's jist no' haudin' wi' them an' an' their evil practices." ON THE CRAFT "Whit! Evil practices!" "Ay, an' heathenish practices!" " Oh ! . . . Wud ye be pleased to be a little mair expleecit, Mistress M' Lerie, ' ' said her visitor, with awful politeness. "I '11 be nae sic thing!" exclaimed the hostess, thinking that "expleecit" meant something very bad. * i But I tell ye this, Mistress Munro, I tell ye this! I wudna like ma man to be ridin' aboot on a nanny-goat in his stockin '- soles! Na, I wudna!" "Ach, it 's a' a story aboot the goat," returned Mrs. Munro, with a contemptu- ous laugh. "I Ve heard it dizzens o' times, but I never heard tell o' the stockin '-soles afore. ' ' "Weel, ye 're aye learnin'. I've heard tell o' the stockin '-soles. Ay, an' waur nor that ! ' ' "Whaur did ye hear it?" "Never you mind whaur I heard it." 10 MRS. M'LERIE "I doot whaever telPt ye wis makin' code o ' ye, as it were, ' ' said Mrs. Munro, smiling disagreeably. "Jist as ye think, Mistress Munro. But ye canna swear that yer man disna ride on a goat in his stockin '-soles, fur he 's no' alooed to tell ye whit he dis when he gangs to his heathenish meet- in 's. Did ye ever speir at him whit they dae at the meetin 's f " "It 's nane o' ma business," the other haughtily replied. "That 'sapeety!" 1 ' Whit dae ye mean ! ' ' "I mean that I 'm thinkin' there 's somethin' gey faur wrang wi' meetin 's that 's kep' as secret as the kind we 're talkin' aboot. Yer man wud be safer at the prayer-meetin ', ef ter a '. " "Mony a man gangs to baith kin's o' meetin 's. Ye 're jist exposin' yer eeg- norance, Mistress M'Lerie." ON THE CRAFT 11 "Ay, an' there 's mony a wolf in sheep's clothin', Mistress Munro, mony a wolf in "If ye 're meanin' ma man'* "Na, na; I never said a word aboot yer man. Ye Ve a rale dacent man, an ' a kind man furbye, an' I 'm jist vexed to think he 's got intil sic bad comp'ny. But maybe it 's no ' ower late to save him. Ye sud speak to him saf t-like, an ' try to get him to gi'e up his heathenish prac- tices. Fur, ye see, it disna end wi ' ridin ' on a goat in yer stockin '-soles. I Ve heard o ' folks gettin ' marks pit on them marks, Mistress Munro!" "Weel?" "An' when they 're markit, they can never get awa' frae the heathenish prac- tices, an' their vera souls isna their ain. ' ' "Dae ye mean their stockin '-soles ?" inquired Mrs. Munro, affecting flippancy, 12 MRS. M'LERIE though she was beginning to feel genu- inely uneasy. Mrs. M'Lerie wagged her head sol- emnly. "I mean their inside souls, an' ye ken that weel enough, Mistress Munro. An' they canna get awa' be- cause the ithers a' ken them frae the marks on them." ' * But I 've heard tell that it 's a great honor to a Freemason to get a mark, an' he 's rale prood when he gets it," said Mrs. Munro, rather feebly. Terrible thoughts were rising in her mind. Was her husband, she asked herself, a marked man? "Nae doot," Mrs. M'Lerie slowly re- plied, "nae doot, it 's aye pleesanter to pretend ye 're prood. But I hope yer man hasna ony marks on him. But," she went on after a long breath, "the warst o' it a' is that it 's a secret, an' a man has to hide things frae his wife. ON THE CRAFT 13 Ay ! lie 's got to sweer he '11 no ' tell his wife, or onybody else, aboot the heathen- ish cairry-ons at the meetin's. It 's a sad job when a wumnian disna ken whit her man 's ef ter every ither nicht. ' ' "He jist gangs to his ludge yinst a f ortnicht, ' ' interposed the visitor, miser- ably. "Weel, maybe there 's a chance fur him yet, if ye speak to him saft-like. Dinna get up his dander, ye ken, or ye '11 maybe mak ' him waur. ' ' But this advice, though kindly meant and mildly offered, was too much for Mrs. Munro. Thoroughly enraged, she rose abruptly from the chair from which she had so often indulged in sympathetic gossip with her old friend, and in a high, quivering voice, exclaimed: "Ye wud tell me hoo to luk efter ma man, wud ye ? My, but ye Ve a neck on ye, Mistress M'Lerie! Ye wud tell me 14 MRS. M'LERIE hoo to manage him? Humph! Awa' an* manage yer ain man first. Ha ! ha ! ha ! That 's ma advice to you. Manage yer ain man first if ye can!" Mrs. M'Lerie shrank into her chair, stung by the last words, for it was only too true that she was wed to a strictly good but domineering husband. "Ay! Manage him if ye can!" cried Mrs. Munro, with bitter satisfaction at the effect of her remark. "An' he 's maybe no' jist as guid as ye think, fur a' that he 's as narra-mindit as a a " He 's no ' narra-mindit ! ' ' " Ach, ye ken better nor that ! I sup- pose ye 've furgot the time when ye wis feart he wud fin' oot ye had been at a bazaur an ' bocht a raffle- tucket f Eh ? ' ' * * Weel, I tell 't ye at the time I sudna ha'e gaed to the bazaur when he wisna haudin' wi' bazaurs an' rattles," said Mrs. M'Lerie, feebly. "Ay, ye 're a fine yin to manage a ON THE CRAFT 15 man ! Practise whit ye preach, Mistress M'Lerie, practise whit ye preach. I '11 luk efter ma man ma ain wey, thenk ye kindly a' the same, an' I jalouse he '11 get as guid a sate ay, an' a sate jist as faur furrit in Hivven as Maister M'Le- rie. ... So I '11 bid ye guid-day, Mis- tress M'Lerie, no' furgettin' to thenk ye fur yer yer impiddence." And Mrs. Munro rushed from the room, and from the house, leaving her hostess in a con- dition of speechless collapse. Some minutes went past before Mrs. M'Lerie collected her scattered thoughts, and when she did so they might have been likened to so many hard peas, and her mind to a bowl of misery. 4 'Oh me, the day!" she sighed at last. "Whit 's this I Ve dune? Cast oot wi' ma auld f reen '. . . . And her an ' me that pack fur mony an' mony a year. . . . Whit did I say to her ? Whit did she say to me? Aw, to think o' twa auld wifes 16 MRS. M'LERIE like her an' me castin' oot! . . . But I 'm shair I done it a' fur the best. I wis sair vexed fur her ha'ein' a Free- mason fur a man, an ' I wis gey anxious fur her to try an' save him. 'Deed, I wis a' that. But I doot I gaed aboot it the wrang wey. I didna mean to offend her. . . . But it wisna fair o' her speakin' back the wey she did, fur she niicht ha'e kent I wis savin' it a' fur the best, an' she needna ha'e fleed up that quick. . . . Ay,. it 's a peety fur her to ha'e a Freemason fur a man, an' it 's no' fur me to judge her, puir buddy." And a tear rolled down the wrinkled cheek. After this manner did Mrs. M'Lerie moralize till the clock warned her that it was time for her to go out to purchase the kippers which her husbarid had or- dered for his tea. On her way to the grocer she was ON THE CRAFT 17 startled to hear a cheerful salutation behind, and a moment later the minister of the church she attended with unfail- ing regularity was walking by her side. Mrs. M' Lerie had an intense admiration for the minister, and as a rule was quite at ease in his company. But on this oc- casion, in her distress of mind, she had scarcely a word to say, and could hardly bring herself to smile when he made a joke. 11 Shopping for Mr. M' Lerie 's tea, I suppose," he remarked, for it was not the first time he had met her on that errand. "I hope you 're going to give him something nice," he added, merely, for the sake of speaking, for he began to notice she was ill at ease. "Ay, he likes Freemasons," stam- mered the old woman. " Freemasons !" exclaimed the minis- ter. 2 18 MRS. M'LERIE "I I mean kippers, sir," she said, with something like a sob. ''He he 's no' haudin' wi' Freemasons," she added hastily. "Is he not?" The minister checked a laugh, and spoke gently. It was clear that something serious was troubling the humble member of his congregation. But he forbore to question her, though he was naturally curious as to the reason of her extraordinary remark. She, however, had not the courage to enlighten him, much as she longed to do so, with a view to gaining comfort and perhaps advice, and they reached the grocer's shop without a word on her side. "Good-bye, Mrs. M'Lerie, and re- member me to your husband," said the minister, and turned away. She stepped into the shop, stepped out again, and, forgetful of all things ON THE CKAFT 19 but one, called after the black-coated figure. He came back at once. "You want me, Mrs. M'Lerie?" She nodded, unable to speak. "Come this way, and tell me about it," he said gently, and led her into a quiet street. And there, incoherently enough, she told her tale, ending with a question, which need not be written down, but to which the minister very gravely, but with something like a twinkle in his eye, replied : "I hope so, Mrs. M'Lerie. Indeed, I believe so. And you mustn't be too hard on the masonic brethren, for well, I happen to be one of them. ' ' To poor Mrs. M'Lerie it was the shock of the afternoon, but the minister would not allow her to say a word. ' * You must n 't waste a moment more 20 MRS. M'LERIE on me," he said. "You must think of Mrs. Munro your old friend." ' * Ma auld f reen ', ' ' sighed Mrs. M' Le- rie. "I '11 gang an ' see her the noo. ' ' For the first time in his long period of married life, Mr. M'Lerie that night had to wait for his tea. II THE COUNTRY VISIT , ye Ve got back," said Mrs. Munro, seating herself at her old friend's table and taking the cup of tea presented to her. "Ay, I Ve got back," returned Mrs. M'Lerie, who had been spending nearly a week with her sister-in-law in the country and whose homely, kindly vis- age wore an unaccustomed rosiness. Mrs. Munro poured a portion of her tea into her saucer, and took a mouthful of the almost scalding liquid, making a peculiar sound, doubtless of satisfac- tion, as it passed her lips. "Ye 're lukin' rale weel, Mistress M'Lerie," she observed presently. 21 22 MRS. M'LERIE "I 'm feelin' no' so bad, Mistress Munro; I 'm feelin' no' so bad noo," the hostess admitted. Mrs. Munro looked puzzled. "Ye mean ye 're kin' o' gled to be hame again, I suppose," she said. "Jist that," replied Mrs. M'Lerie, rather shortly. "Did ye no' enjye yersel'?" ex- claimed her friend, in surprise. "Whiles." * ' 'Deed, I 'm vexed fur that, ' ' said the visitor, with a gaze of sympathy. "I 'm no' sayin' I didna enjye ma- sel ', ' ' said the other, hastily. ' ' Ye mauna think that, Mistress Munro, ye mauna think that!" "But I doot it wisna a' pleesure," re- marked Mrs. Munro, who could not help feeling curious regarding her friend's experiences in the country. "Maybe no', maybe no'," slowly re- THE COUNTRY VISIT 23 plied Mrs. M' Lerie. * ' But is there ony- thin' in the warld that 's a' pleesure! Tell me that, Mistress Munro ! ' ' Mrs. Munro took a drink of tea before she replied. "I daursay ye 're richt. But I wis hopin' it wud be naethin' but pleesure wi ' yer guid-sister in the coun- try." * ' I thocht that masel '. But, as ye ken, I gaed to please ma man. Ye see, his sister has askit me fur near twinty year, an' I 've aye said I cudna gang; but this time ma man wis that anxious fur me to gang, an' I jist gaed. . . . Aweel, it 's a' bye noo, an', as ye say, I 'm kin' o' gled to get hame. ' ' "Ay. But whit gaed wrang, that ye didna enjye yersel'?" inquired Mrs. Munro. "I didna say I didna enjye masel'," was the reply, given with a touch of asperity. 24 MRS. M'LERIE "Weel, ye didna exactly say ye did, did ye?" "Och, never heed aboot it. It 's a' bye noo. ' ' But Mrs. Munro was not to be put off. 1 'I ken fine ye didna enjye yersel', so ye best tell us a ' aboot it. ' ' Mrs. M'Lerie looked uneasy. "Ye ye '11 no tell ma man I tell't ye?" she said at last. Mrs. Munro drew herself up, and very solemnly said: "May I dee this vera meenit if I ever open ma mooth ! ' ' Then she finished her tea and passed in her cup. The hostess refilled the cup and handed it back before she replied. ' ' Mind, ' ' she began at last, ' ' mind, I 'm no' sayin' onythin' ag'in' ma guid-sis- ter, IVlistress M'Corkindale." Mrs. Munro nodded reassuringly as she stirred her tea. THE COUNTRY VISIT 25 * ' Weel, I '11 jist ha 'e to tell ye a' aboot it," said Mrs. M'Lerie. "To begin wi', I had a maist awf u ' rin fur the train. I thocht it stairtit at twinty-five past twa, but when I got to the station, wi' ma tin boax an' twa- three paircels, it wis jist the time; an' I wis sclimmin' intil a cairriage when a man grups ma airm an ' speirt at me whaur I wis gaun. . . . 'Kinbuckie,' says I. ... 'This is the train for Mulguy,' he says, kin' o' short-like. . . . 'Deed, Mistress Munro, it wis a narra escape! . . . 'Whaur 's the Kinbuckie train?' says I, when he had tooken ma boax an ' paircels oot the cairriage an ' drappit them on the gr 'un ' jist as if they wis dirt. . . . 'Number three platform,' says he, 'but ye Ve plenty time. It disna stairt till ten meen- its afore five. ' . . . ' But I want the train that gangs at twinty-five past twa, ' says I, kin' o' angry, fur he had pu'ed the 26 MRS. M'LEBIE string aff yin o' ma paircels. . . . * Weel, ye better tak' a sate an' wait till Setter- day,' says he. An' wi' that he gaed awa'." "Aw, I see," said Mrs. Munro, "ye hadna noticed the train wis Setterdays only. Whit a peety!" "I can tell ye, I wis gey sair pit oot, f urbye the impiddence o ' the man tellin ' me to wait till Setterday when it wis jist Tuesday. But at last I got awa'." "Is 't a lang journey to Kinbuckie?" inquired Mrs. Munro. "Near three 'oors, an', as ye ken, I dinna like sittin' in trains. But there wis a dacent auld man in the cairriage, an' he tell't me aboot a' the places on the road, an ' tell 't me when I wis comin ' near Kinbuckie. So I got there safe an' soon', an' no muckle the waur, excep' that I wis unco dry, an' wearyin' fur a dish o' tea." THE COUNTRY VISIT 27 "Ye wud be that," remarked Mrs. Munro, in tones of sympathy. "An' wis Mistress M' Corkindale waitin ' at the station?" "Na; but her man wis there. He said he guessed I wud come wi' that train, but I think Mistress M' Corkindale micht ha'e let me ken aboot the ither train bein' a Setterday yin." "Is Maister M' Corkindale a nice man!" "Mphm! . . . Ay, he 's a nice man, Mistress Munro. Faur be it frae me to say a word ag 'in 'Maister M' Corkindale. An* he 's weel aff. But he 's awfu' quate. He hardly ever opens his mooth, an' when he dis, it 's jist like a moose squeakin'. . . . But I wis gaun to tell ye whit happened efter I got oot the station. Maister M* Corkindale pit ma boax an' paircels intil yin o' thae machines that 's a' wheels an' nae 28 MRS. M'LERIE sates jigs, I think they ca' them, an'-" "It wud be a gig ye mean," Mrs. Munro interrupted. ' ' Maybe. But I can tell ye it felt liker a jig. 'Deed, ay!" retorted her friend. "I wisna fur gettin' up on the machine at first, and tell't Maister M'Corkindale I wud shinner walk, fur the horse lukit kin' o' wild an' furious. But he said it wis near sax mile to the fairm, an' I needna be f eart. Ma certy ! if I had kent it wis that length f rae the station I wud never ha'e left Glesca! . . . But there wis naethin' else fur it, so efter twa- three attem's I sprauchled up on the machine, an' awa' we gaed. I needna tell ye ma sufferin's, Mistress Munro, but I wis near shooken to bits when I got to the fairm, an' rale thenkfu' to feel the gr'un' ablow ma feet again." "But yer troubles wud be ower, as it THE COUNTRY VISIT 29 were, when ye got to the fainn," Mrs. Munro observed cheerfully. "Ye micht think that, Mistress Munro, ye micht think that! I thocht that masel' at first." ' ' But whit gaed wrang ? Wis Mistress M* Corkindale no' rale kind and plees- ant?" ' * I never said onythin ' ag 'in ' ma guid- sister, Mistress M' Corkindale ! " "I 'm no' sayin' ye did, Mistress M'Lerie. I I wis merely speirin', so to speak. ' ' "Ay, ay. ... Weel, as I wis sayin', I wudna say onythin' ag'in' ma guid- sister, Mistress M' Corkindale ; but but-" "Ye needna be feart sayin' onythin' to an' auld freen' like masel', Mistress M' Lerie. May I dee this vera meenit if I ever " "I ken that, Mistress Munro, I ken 30 MRS. M'LERIE that," said Mrs. M'Lerie, gently. "I ken ye wudna repeat onythin' I tell't ye." ''No' if I wis to be tortured on the rack," said Mrs. Munro, who was fond of reading Foxe's "Book of Martyrs." "I left yin o' ma paircels on the rack," said Mrs. M'Lerie, "but I got it the next day." "I didna mean that kin' o' rack. I meant the rack fur fur streechin' folk." "Oh, ay. ... Mphm. . . . Aweel, I wis gaun to tell ye aboot whit I got at the fairm, Mistress Munro." "An' whit wis that?" "It wis Mind, I 'm no sayin' ony- thin' ag'in' ma guid-sister, Mistress M'Corkindale. Mind that! ... But whit think ye I got fur ma supper?" "She didna gi'e ye jist a plain tea?" "Plain tea! My! I wud ha'e been THE COUNTRY VISIT 31 gled o ' that, Mistress Munro, I wud ha 'e been gledo' that!" "Whit did she gi'e ye?" "A biled egg an' a a cup o* co- co-a ! ' ' cried Mrs. M' Lerie. "Co-co-a?" "Ay! neither mair nor less! An' I wis that dry ! . . . Aw, Mistress Munro, did ye ever get a big cup o ' co-co-a when ye wis wearyin' ay, jist wearyin' fur a guid cup o ' tea 1 ' ' "I 'in thenkfu' to he in the poseetion to say I never did ! ' ' replied Mrs. Munro, forcibly. * ' Weel, weel ! ' ' she added, and shook her head despairingly. ' ' That 's whit / got, ' ' said Mrs. M' Le- rie. "Ay, an' that 's the only drink I got a' the time I wis awa' CO-CO-A!" "Co-co-A!" "Jist CO-CO-A! . . . Mistress M' Cork- indale said it wis the only drink that wisna entirely deleerious." 32 MRS. M'LERIE 1 1 Ye mean deleteerious. ' ' "Aweel, it 's a' yin. But that *s whit she said, onywey. . . . An' co-co-a 's a thing I canna thole ! ' ' "Dearie me! Nae wnnner ye didna enjye yersel ', Mrs. M' Lerie. ' ' "I never said I didna enjye inasel'! An' faur be it frae me to say a word ag'in' " "Weel, weel," said Mrs. Munro, soothingly. "I suppose Mistress M'Corkindale an' her man are whit ye micht ca' converts." 1 1 They wisna diverts, onywey. ' ' "I mean converts to CO-CO-A," said Mrs. Munro. "Nae doot!" Mrs. M' Lerie replied. "The twa o' them wis jist daft fur it. I wis wunnerin' if it wis the COCOA that gi'ed Maister M' Corkindale his squeakie v'ice. . . . But I maun say he aye tuk a wee drappie speerits afore he gaeol to THE COUNTRY VISIT 33 his bed. No ' that he ever said, ' Here 's t ' ye ! ' Na ! But f aur be it f rae me to-" "A' the same," interposed Mrs. Munro, "ye wud ha'e a fine healthy life at the f airm. ' ' "Mphm!" * ' Ye wud get the mulk warm f rae the coos?" * ' Ay, but I prefer it cauld i ' the can. ' ' Mrs. Munro laughed. Then she said : "An' ye wud get eggs new laid." "Fresh is guid enough fur me." "Ay. But it maun be fine to sit doon to yer breakfast, kennen the eggs wis laid that vera mornin ' ! " "Maybe. ... It 's no' vera fine hearin' them bein' laid at three o'clock in the mornin'." "Tits! Ye cudna hear an egg bein' laid, Mistress M'Lerie!" "Cud I no 'I . . . I tell ye, Mistress 34 MRS. M'LERIE Munro, I heard the beasts cryin' 'Cock- a-leerie-law ' every mornin' ay, even on the Sawbath!" * ' Och ! That wud be the cocks. ' ' "Aweel, it 's a' yin. Whitever it wis, it begood aboot three i' the mornin', an' I never boot an e'e efter that. Aw, Mistress Munro, it 's a sair job bidin ' at a f airm when ye 're no ' used to it!" "But ye wud ha'e some nice walks through the day, Mistress M'Lerie." Mrs. M' Lerie shook her head. ' ' Is 't no ' a bonny place Kinbuckie f ' ' Mrs. Munro inquired. * ' I never said it wisna bonny. ' ' "Weel?" "Aw, naethin'." "But did ye no' gang ony walks?" "Yinst." "Wis that a'?" "Ay, that wis a'." THE COUNTRY VISIT 35 Mrs. Munro looked inquiringly at her friend. After a long silence, Mrs. M'Lerie said impressively : * ' It wis a goat. ' ' "A whit?" "A goat a wild goat." * * Mercy me ! ... Did it dunch ye ? " "It tried it. Ay, an' it chased me fur near a mile! I thocht I wis dune fur!" "But did ye no' try to frichten it awa'? Did ye no turn roon' an' face it, as it were?" ' ' Face it, Mistress Munro ! If ye had seen thon awfu' beast loupin' aboot like mad an' tryin' to bore holes in ye wi' its f richtsome horns, ye wudna be talkin ' aboot facin' it! Facin' it? Ma certy! I wud as shin face a ragin', roarin' lion!" "Weel, weel," said Mrs. Munro, sooth- ingly, "I daursay ye wis wice to rin 36 MRS. M'LERIE fur 't. Discreetion is the better pairt o ' valor, ye ken. ' ' 1 * Mphm. But I 'm thinkin ' it wud be better if folk kept their wild goats chained. Ay ! ' ' "But ye escaped, Mistress M'Lerie." "I escaped, as ye say, Mistress Munro an' nae mair. When I won back to the fairm an' yin o' the lassies got a grup o' the beast, I sank doon on the doorstep an ' thocht I wud never get ma breith again. ' ' "Ye wud be gey warm furbye." "Warm! I wis jist meltin', an' yet it wis a kin ' o ' cauld warmness. An ' fur twa days I wis jist shakin' an' trim'lin' an' cudna tak' ma meat." ' ' Dearie me ! Did Mistress M' Corkin- dale no' gi'e ye onythin' to help ye a wee taste speerits f Eh ? ' ' "There 's nae drink in her hoose ex- cep' fur her man. But I wudna ha'e THE COUNTRY VISIT 37 tooken it onywey. She gi 'ed me co-co-a, an' an' I wud ha'e gi'ed five shullin's fur a dish o' tea. But that wisna a', Mistress Munro, that wisna a'." "Wis 't no'!" "Na. Her an' her man laucht till I thocht they had baith gane clean daft." " Laucht at ye?" * * Jist that. They tried to gar me be- lieve it wis a tame goat a tame goat an ' it wis jist wantin ' to play wi ' me. A tame goat a TAME "But maybe it wis a tame goat, Mis- tress M'Lerie." For once in her life, Mrs. M'Lerie's face lowered on her friend. < ' I I wisht ye had seen the beast as near as I did ! ' ' she cried indignantly. "Aw, weel, I suppose ye 're richt aboot it bein ' a wild yin. ' ' "I suppose I am." There was a somewhat uncomfortable 38 MRS. M'LERIE pause, and Mrs. Munro made an effort to change the subject. "An' whit did ye dae the ither days ? ' ' she inquired. "I bided in the hoose." "Wis it wat!" "Na, it wisna wat," replied Mrs. M'Lerie, stiffly. Then, suddenly, seeing her old friend's distressed expression, she let her good humor return. With a laugh, she said: "Ye see, Mistress Munro, I didna feel I wis needin' ony mair exercise that week. ' ' Mrs. Munro laughed also, and rose to go. "Ye 're gled to be hame, onywey," she said. * * 'Deed, ay ! " returned Mrs. M* Lerie, heartily. And as her friend left the house she called after her: "Mind, Mis- tress Munro, I never said I didna enjye maselV Ill MRS. M'LERIE VISITS THE zoo DAE ye mean to tell me, Mistress M'Lerie, that ye Ve never been inside a zoo I ' ' cried Mrs. Munro, falling back in her chair, staring at her friend, and emphasizing her astonishment by throwing up her hands, one of which grasped a slip of orange-colored paper. "Never!" was the solemn reply. "But ye '11 ha'e been in a traivelin' menagerie, maybe ? ' ' "Nor that, either. But I Ve been twicet in a paronama, an'- "Whit 's that ye say!" "A paronama, Mistress Munro, a kin' o' muckle pictur, ye ken. An' I wis yinst 39 40 MRS. M'LERIE "Aw, ye mean a panorama." "Ay, that '11 be it. An' I wis yinst near inside an asquarian "Aquarium." "Aweel, it 's a' yin. As I wis tellin' ye, I wis yinst near inside an aquarian. ' ' "An' whit wey did ye no' gang richt inside ? ' ' "Weel, ye see, I gaed wi' Mistress M* Taggart puir wumman ! She 's been deid mony a year, but she wis he'rty enough then an' she wis that stoot, puir buddy ! she cudna win through the whurly thing whaur they tuk the money. The man wis fur openin ' the big door to let her in, but we wis baith that affrontit, we jist gaed stracht hame to hide wur rid faces." "That wis a sad job," said Mrs. Munro. "I mind Mistress M' Taggart fine. A dacent wumman she wis, an* aye cheery, conseederin' the burden laid MRS. M'LERIE VISITS THE ZOO 41 upon her, as it were. . . . But if ye 're ready noo, Mistress M'Lerie, we '11 awa' an ' ha 'e a keek at the beasts. ' ' "Are ye shair the tucket 's a' richt?" Mrs. M'Lerie inquired. "I aye ha'e ma doots aboot "Ye needna be feart. As I tell't ye, ma man got it frae the lion-tamer when he wis daein' a bit plumber work at the Zoo, the ither day. It 's jist as guid as money at the door." "Weel, weel, I '11 say nae mair, Mis- tress Munro, I '11 sae nae mair, excep' that I yinst got a free tucket fur a ba- zaur, an' I shin fun' oot it wis jist a trap to get me inside. I didna get oot free, I can tell ye ! " "Aw, I mind a' aboot the bazaur," said Mrs. Munro, rising from her friend's easy-chair, and smoothing down the front of her skirt. * * But I can prom- ise ye, ye '11 ha'e nae cause to regret 42 MRS. M'LERIE peyin' a veesit to the Zoo. Noo we best be hurryin', or we '11 no' ha'e time to see a' the beasts." "I 'm shair I dinna ken whit ma man '11 say aboot it," said Mrs. M'Le- rie, as she left the house with her friend. "He 's that parteeclar." i l Toots ! There 's nae innocenter en- jyment nor the Zoo. 'Deed, I micht say it wis an enjyment lairgely freequented wi' meenisters. So ye needna be feart, Mistress M'Lerie." "Weel, I maun be hame in guid time fur to get his tea ready." "I '11 see to that, Mistress M'Lerie. Dinna fash yersel ' ! I '11 no ' let ye be late. Jist pit yer trust in me. ' ' Somewhat relieved of her varied fore- bodings, Mrs. M'Lerie hastened along- side her friend, and in about twenty minutes arrived at the entrance to the Zoo. MRS. M'LERIE VISITS THE ZOO 43 Mrs. Munro, not without some show of dignity and importance, presented her orange slip at the window of the pay-box. A hand pushed it back to her, and a polite voice said : * * Admits in the even- ing only." "Whit 's that?" exclaimed Mrs. Munro. "This pass is not available in the afternoon only in the evening." "Whit wey that?" she demanded. "It 's the rule, ma'am," said the po- lite voice. "The rule?" 1 1 Yes. Kindly make way, ma 'am. ' ' A number of people were waiting ad- mission, and, choking with indignation, Mrs. Munro pushed past them, followed by her puzzled companion. "Is onythin' wrang?" asked the lat- ter, when they halted in the open air. 44 MRS. M'LERIE "He said the tucket wis fur the evenin' only," gasped Mrs. Munro. * ' An ' wud he no ' let us in T ' "Mphm! . . . Fine ham!" "I I wis feart it wis a trap," said Mrs. M'Lerie, sadly. "An' I thocht it wis gey suspeecious-like when the man wis hidin' hissel' in thon boax place. Ay, I wis feart it wis a trap. ' ' "Ach, you an' yer traps!" cried Mrs. Munro, in an outburst of irritation. "You an' yer Oh, I 'm shair I ask yer paurdon, Mistress M'Lerie. Ye maun excuse me bein' pit oot, as it were," she added more gently, noticing her friend's hurt expression. "I ask yer paurdon humbly. ' ' "It 's grantit, it 's grantit," said Mrs. M'Lerie at once. "An' I suppose we best jist gang haine an' ha'e a dish o' tea, Mistress Munro." ' ' Na, na ! I invitet ye fur to see the MRS. M'LERIE VISITS THE ZOO 45 wild beasts, an' ye 're gaun to see the wild beasts ay, if I dee this vera meenit ! ' ' "Ah, but ye mauna pit yersel' aboot, Mistress Munro, ye mauna pit yersel' aboot. I 'm no' sayin' I 'm no' wantin' to see the wild beasts I 'm no' sayin' that but ye mauna pit yersel' aboot." Mrs. Munro, however, did not wait to hear the end of her companion's apol- ogy, but approached the pay-box once more, and said : "Haw! you in the boax, whit 's the price fur twa!" "Adults or juveniles?" the polite voice inquired. "I '11 juvenile ye !" cried Mrs. Munro. * * We 're twa dacent mairrit weemen, an ' if ye wis oot yer boax I wud shin let ye ken that, ye ye ye cooard!" "Sixpence each," said the polite voice, calmly. 46 MRS. M'LERIE "Saxpence each? Aweel, there 's a shullin'! But I doot if the hale j ing- bang o' yer beasts is worth it. . . . Come awa,' Mistress M-Lerie." " Thank you, ma'am," said the polite voice. "It would have been a pity to have given up your evening pass, be- cause it admits to the circus as well as to the Zoo." " D ' ye tell me that ? ' ' exclaimed Mrs. Munro. ' * 'Deed, sir, I 'm vexed fur whit I said. Ye see, I thocht ye wis gettin' the best o' me, you bein' in yer boax concealed frae the public gaze, as it were. Yer paurdon, sir, an' thenk ye kindly. ' ' "All right, ma'am. Pass in," said the polite voice, with something like a chuckle. "Come awa', Mistress M'Lerie," cried Mrs. Munro. "Dinna be feart. There 's nae trap, an' the young man MRS. M'LERIE VISITS THE ZOO 47 in the boax isna whit ye thoeht he wis." Mrs. M'Lerie followed her friend into the Zoo, scarcely hearing the Matter's fur- ther complimentary remarks on the "young man in the boax," and halted just inside the swing-doors, staring about her. ' ' Weel, whit dae ye think o ' this ? " in- quired her guide in the patronizing voice of one who has "been there be- fore. ' ' "I I dinna see ony meenisters," said Mrs. M'Lerie, doubtfully. "Dae ye no'? That 's unusual. But, efter a', ye cam' to see wild beasts, an' there 's plenty o ' them, I warrant ye ! Come awa' an' see the lions an' the ieagurs. ' ' "Thenk ye, I think I '11 jist bide here, Mistress Munro, I '11 jist bide here." "Ye 're no' feart, are ye?" 48 MRS. M'LERIE "Na; I 'm no' feart." "Weel, come awa' an' see the beasts close. They '11 no ' hurt ye. They canna win oot their cages. See! Thonder a lion!" " Ay, I see it rale weel frae here, thenk ye." "Thon 's no' the biggest lion." "Is 't no'? It 's gey big. I doot it 's ett up folk in its day." "No' it!" cried Mrs. Munro, laugh- ing. "Come awa', an' dinna be feart." And she led the unwilling Mrs. M'Lerie toward the cages. "Is that no' a noble beast 1 ' ' she asked, pointing to a captive. "Ay, it 's gey noble. Oh, it 's wantin ' to get at us ! It 's roarin ' I " "Ach, ye 're quite safe! Mercy me! ye 're a' shakin', Mistress M'Lerie." "I dinna like the beasts' booin'. It 's frichtsome. Are ye shair the cages is strong?" MRS. M'LERIE VISITS THE ZOO 49 ' ' Ob, the cages is a' richt. But maybe we best gang an' see some o' tbe ither beasts first." ' ' 'Deed, ay ! " said Mrs. M' Lerie, eagerly. "Is there nae wee yins?" ' ' Wee yins ! Whit kin ' o ' wee yins ! ' ' "Rabbits an' hens, an' maybe white mice. ' ' "I doot it. Ye see, this is a place fur wild beasts wild beasts in a tame con- deetion, so to speak, ' ' Mrs. Munro added hastily, noting the alarm on the other's face. "We '11 gang to the ither end an' see the elephants an ' caymels, ' ' she went on, taking her friend's arm. "It 's no' the first time I Ve seen an elephant, onywey," observed Mrs. M' Le- rie, plucking up courage. ' ' I yinst seen twa-three in a procession, an' whiles I Ve seen picturs in the 'Sunday Sen- tinel.' In fac,' I wud ken an elephant ony day. Thon yin 's gotten an' awfu' 50 MRS. M'LERIE wee trunk fur its size, has it no', Mis- tress Munro ?" 1 1 Tits, Mistress M'Lerie! That 's its tail!" "Aweel, it 's a' yin," said Mrs. M'Le- rie, the least thing annoyed. "Come roon' here," said Mrs. Munro, who had stopped to purchase a penny- worth of biscuits, "an' we '11 feed the beast. ' ' ' ' Preserve us ! " cried Mrs. M* Lerie, a minute later, "I thocht we wis gaun to be swallowed up like Jonah." "It wisna an elephant that got Jo- nah!" "I ken that. But thon beast's mooth gi 'ed me a f richt ! An ' whit awf u ' feet ! Come awa' quick, Mistress Munro. I dinna like it. If thon beast wis gettin' loose, it wud champ us like tatties. ' ' "Ye needna be feart, Mistress M' Le- rie." MRS. M'LERIE VISITS THE ZOO 51 "I never said I wis feart; but but prevention 's better nor cure, as I yinst read on a bottle o ' kair-ile in a doctor 's shope. ' ' "It 's a true savin' that, but I think ye 're takin' yer pleesure ower solemn- like. Hoo dae ye like the cay- mels?" Mrs. Munro inquired, after a pause. * * I think they 're gey like me, Mistress Munro, ' ' returned Mrs. M ; Lerie, with a sudden twinkle in her eye. "Hoo that?" "They 're takin' their pleesure ower solemn-like ! Ha ! ha ! " "My! that 's a guid bit joke! Ha! ha ! ha ! 'Deed, ay ! Ha ! ha ! Mphm ! Ye 're beginnin' to enjye yersel', maybe? Eh?" "I am that, Mistress Munro, I am that ! Though I maun alloo I wis a wee thing frichtit at the first. But I daursay 52 MRS. M'LERIE I 'm gettin' used to the danger. Oh, mercy ! Whit 's thon beast I ' ' ' ' It 's a species o ' monkey. ' ' "A speeshiso monkey? Weel, it 's fully as heathenish as its name, an' I 'in no' gaun near it the nesty girnin' beast!" "Is there nae bonny beasts in the Zoo, Mistress Munro?" asked Mrs. M'Lerie, half-an-hour later. 1 1 1 canna say there is. But there 's a wheen bonny birds." "Aw, I wud like fine to see the birds, so I wud ! ' ' ' ' I dinna think the birds is vera inter- restin', but we '11 ha'e a keek at them. . . . There ye are ! ' ' And Mrs. Munro waved her hand toward a number of cages occupied by birds of more or less gaudy plumage. Mrs. M'Lerie stood rapt in admira- tion, till her friend observed pleasantly : MRS. M'LERIE VISITS THE ZOO 53 * ' They beat yer stuffed birds, Mistress M' Lerie, dae they no ' ? " "I wudna say that," she returned sharply. ' l Na, I wudna say that. Thae birds is vera fine an' numerous, but they 're no' jist up to ma birds, Mistress Munro. Na, na ! " "But luk at thon big yin it 's ca'ed a toucan "I 'm no' heedin' if it 's ca'ed a tin can it 's no' up to ony o' ma" "But see thon gorgeous yin wi' the-" "Na, na! There 's nane o' them can tich ma birds fur fur feenish." And Mrs. M' Lerie moved away from the cages. "I hope ye 're no' offendit," said Mrs. Munro, following her. "I had nae thocht o' insultin' yer birds when I said-" "I 'm no ' the least offendit or insultit, Mistress Munro," the other replied; 54 MRS. M'LERIE "but, to tell ye truth, I 'm feart I '11 be late fur ma man the nicht." ' ' Oh, but ye Ve no ' seen hauf the Zoo yet. Ye Ve no' seen the serpents nor the-" "Thenk ye kindly; but I Ve got to get sassingers fur ma man 's tea, an' it micht pit me aff cookin' them if I wis lukin ' at boar-constructors an ' ither ter- rifyin' reptiles the noo. I wish ye wud tell me the time, Mistress Munro." "Jist come an' ha'e a keek at the zebra, Mistress M'Lerie. Ye '11 like the zebra. It 's a kin' o' strippit cuddy, an'-" - 1 ' Thenk ye, thenk ye ; but I doot it 's time I wis awa' hame. . . . Whit 's the time, if ye please?" Mrs. M'Lerie in- quired of an elderly man who happened to be standing beside her. ' ' Twenty past five, ' ' he replied, after consulting his watch. MRS. M'LERIE VISITS THE ZOO 55 "I maun gang, I maun gang!" cried Mrs. M'Lerie. "Weel, if ye maun gang, ye maun gang," said Mrs. Munro. "I suppose ye conseeder yer man afore onythin'." " Afore beasts, onywey," returned Mrs. M' Lerie, seriously. ' ' No ' but whit the beasts is rale fine an' interrestin'," she added, lest she should seem ungrate- ful. IV THE RAFFLE TICKET IHA'E ma doots, Mistress Munro, I ha'e ma doots," said Mrs. M'Lerie, wagging her head solemnly. Her visitor smiled placidly as she smoothed a crease from her best gown, which had wrinkled slightly at her knees. ' ' Ye sud try anither dish o ' tea, Mistress M'Lerie," she said kindly. * ' I cudna tak ' anither moothfu '. But yer ain tea 's oot. See J s yer cup . . . Ay, an' try anither biscuit. Thur yins is ower sweet fur me, but maybe ye like them." "Thenk ye," said Mrs. Munro, help- ing herself. "Weel, ye wis savin '- "I wis sayin' I had ma doots, Mis- 56 57 tress Munro, I wis savin' I had ma doots. ' ' And Mrs. M' Lerie, having laid aside her cup, stood up and carefully shook the crumbs from her lap into the fireplace. Kesuming her seat, she raised the skirt of her dress, and plunged her hand deep into the big pocket in her petticoat. She produced an old-fash- ioned and worn bag purse, from which she extracted a small slip of pinkish paper. ' ' There it is ! ' ' she exclaimed mourn- fully, unfolding the paper. " There it is! Number Aw, ye can read the number fur yersel', Mistress Munro. I cud never thole feegures." "Sax hunner an' forty- twa," said Mrs. Munro, when she had inspected the slip. "Mphm! Sax hunner an' forty-twa. I daursay ye '11 be richt. Onywey, I gi'ed a saxpence fur 't; an', as I wis 58 MRS. M'LERIE tellin' ye, if it wins the prize I get an organ. ' ' "Weel, I 'm shair I '11 be rale gled if ye get the organ, Mistress M* Lerie. An ' yer man '11 be gey prood." "I ha'e ma doots, Mistress Munro, I ha'e ma doots. Fur I ken he 's no' haudin' wi' bazaurs an' rattles." "Baffles," corrected Mrs. Munro, mildly. "Aweel, it 's a' yin. But as shair 's I 'm here, I didna ken whit I wis daein '. I gaed to the bazaur on Setterday nicht, fur I wis tell't they wis gi'ein' things awa' fur hauf naethin', an' I wis wantin' to buy a bit coatie fur ma son John's wee lassie. Aw, ye never seen a bonnier wean. Aw, she 's that like her fayther if he wisna beardit. Aw, she's jist like thon advertizement fur some kin' o' sape; naw, it 's no' sape, it 's Aweel, I canna mind the noo but ye THE RAFFLE TICKET 59 never seen a bonnier wean, Mistress Munro. ' ' * * An ' did ye buy the coatie ! ' ' inquired the visitor. "That's whit I wis gaun fur to tell ye. I Here Mrs. M'Lerie rose hur- riedly and went to the window. A van was rattling down the street. " Na ; it 's jist a mulk-cairt, ' ' she said, half to herself, and with a sigh of relief returned to her friend. "Aweel, Mistress Munro, I didna buy the coatie, fur the yin I wantit wis ower dear. It wis a' a big lee aboot them sellin' aff chape. I suppose they wud be keepin' the things fur a jungle sale. But I bocht a pair o ' wool booties wi' bew ribbons. My! they wis that tastey ! ' ' "Wis they? " ' ' Ay ; an ' I bate the leddy doon nine- pence. ' ' 60 MRS. M'LERIE "D'ye tell me that, Mistress M'Le- rie? " "Ay; as shair 's I 'm here. Weel, efter I bocht the booties I thocht I wad jist tak' a bit daunner roon'; an' roon I gaed, an' priced a guid wheen things, till I cam' to a place whaur lads wis tryin' fur to trim hats an' lasses wis tryin' fur to hammer nails maistly their ain nails, I'm thinkin'! aw, I maun ha'e ma bit joke, Mistress Munro in wudd ! Sirs, the day ! ye never seen sic a daft-like sicht, an' I lauched till I wis that warm an' short o' breith I cudna staun. An' I had jist tooken a sate, an' wis sittin' wipin' ma broo an' pechin', when a vera respectable-lukin ' young man cam' up to me an' says, quite genteel-like, says he : 1 l l Wud ye like to buy a tucket fur an organ, ma'am 1 ? ' Thae wis his vera words. ' ' THE RAFFLE TICKET 61 "An American organ? " put in Mrs. Munro. "I dinna mind. Onywey, it wis an organ fur playin' on. Weel, the young man tell't me if I bocht a saxpenny tucket I wud maybe get the twinty-five- pun' organ the bazaur folk wis rattlin'. An-" " 'Rafflin't' ye mean, Mistress M'Le- rie. ' ' "Ay, it 's a' yin. . . . An' I says to the young man, says I : ' Whaur 's the organ? ' An' he tell't me it wisna in the bazaur, but he wud sweer it wis a' richt, an' if I bocht a tucket I wud ha'e as guid a chance as onybody leevin' o' gettin' it. He wis a rale saft-spoken young man, an' that genteel, an' I wis that het an' wearit, an' afore I kent whit I wis daein' he wis awa' wi' ma saxpence, an' I wis sittin' alane wi' the tucket. , An' I ha'e ma 62 MRS. M'LERIE doots, Mistress Munro, I ha'e ma doots." " Oh, but ye needna be feart, Mis- tress M'Lerie. They '11 no' cheat ye," said her friend, soothingly. "The ba- zaur wis fur a kirk, wis 't no "? ' "Ay. But that 's no' whit 's vexin' me. I 'm no ' feart o ' bein ' cheatit. They best no' try that gemm wi' me! Na! . . . But, ye see, Mistress Munro, ma man didna ken I gaed to the bazaur, an ' I wudna ha'e been there if it hadna been I wis wantin' a coatie fur ma son John's wee lassie, an' ma man 's no' haudin' wi' bazaurs, faur less rattles ; an' an'- oh ! Mistress Munro, whit wud I say to him if they brocht the organ to the hoose ! ' ' Mrs. M* Lerie looked a miser- able inquiry at her visitor, and then, shaking her head, returned the ticket to her purse and the latter to her pocket. "Hoots, toots! Mistress M' Lerie," THE RAFFLE TICKET 63 said the other, cheerfully. "I 'm shair yer man 's no ' that parteeclar. ' ' "Ah, ye dinna ken him, Mistress Munro. I never kent a man as stric' as hissel '. D 'ye no ' mind hoo he left Mais- ter M* Cubbin 's kirk twal ' year syne be- cause they wis gaun to ha'e a bazaur? An' ye never met a better man nor Maister M' Cubbin never ! ' ' ' Ay ; but yer man 's maybe no ' jist as stric' as he wis, Mistress M'Lerie? ' "Is he no'? I ha'e ma doots, Mis- tress Munro, I ha'e ma doots. Ay; an' mony's the time I've heard him say he wud as shin pit money on a horse-race as intil a disruption sale." "Subscription sale." "Aweel, it 's a' yin. An' whit 's a rattle but a disruption sale? It 's jist the same ; ay, there 's no ' a hair o ' dif- ference 'twixt the twa. Oh ! oh, there's a cairt stoppin' at the close! " And 64 MRS. M'LERIE again Mrs. M'Lerie hastened to the window, to find that it was only the baker. * * Mercy me ! ye 're a ' trim 'lin ', ' ' said Mrs. Munro, when her hostess returned to her. "Whit 'sado? " "I thocht it wis the organ," gasped Mrs. M'Lerie. " Every cairt comin' alang the street gars ma he'rt loup to ma mooth. Ye see, the prizes wis to be de- cidet the day. Miss Paurley tell't me. Ma man 's her fayther's foresman, ye ken, an' we gang to Doctor Jamieson's kirk. An' when we wis comin' oot the kirk on Sawbath she cam' up to me fur she's rale nice an' free an' she says, says she, ' I seen ye at the bazaur. ' An' says I, 'Whisht, fur ony favor, Miss Paurley.' John wis ahint me, speakin' to yin o' the elders. An' Miss Paurley gi'ed a bit smile and whispers, 'I hope ye get the organ, Mrs. M'Lerie. I 'm THE RAFFLE TICKET 65 on the commytee, an' the drawin' o' prizes is on Wensday, so I'll gi'e ye a ca' i' the efternune, an' tell ye if ye've gotten it.' An' then she gaed aff, an' John cam' furrit. An' I cudna mind a word o' the discoorse fur thinkin' o' the organ." "Oh, ye Ve tooken it ower muckle to he'rt, Mistress M'Lerie. Efter a' ye '11 maybe no' get the organ. I'm thinkin' it 's a guid sign when Miss Paurley hasna came." "It 's no' vera late yet. An* she 's maybe furgot to come, an' they '11 send the organ wi'oot warnin'. An' whit '11 I dae then? They '11 pit the organ in, an' it '11 be a judgment on me fur gam'- lin'." "Na, na. It's no' as bad as a' that if ye get the organ. 'Deed, I wud be richt thenkfu' to get an organ fur sax- pence. An' here! Listen to me, Mis- 66 MRS. M'LERIE tress M' Lerie, ' ' cried her visitor, struck by an idea. "Eh? " "Ye wudna need to tak' the organ in the hoose. Ye cud get them to tak' it back to the shope, an* ye cud sell it back to them chape, an' ye cud buy oh ! Mis- tress M' Lerie, jist think whit ye cud buy fur yer son John's wee lassie." "Weel, I never! ' gasped Mrs. M' Lerie. "Whit think ye o' that? " asked her friend, gaily. * ' There a notion fur ye ! ' she added proudly. Mrs. M* Lerie 's highly moral feelings were quite swamped by the flood of joy- ous possibilities. She saw herself with a secret store of wealth from which she made occasional offerings at the shrine of her little granddaughter. "I'll dae't!" she cried at last, THE EAFFLE TICKET 67 "I '11 dae 't! When the organ comes 111-" "There somebody at the door," said Mrs. Munro. "It '11 be Miss Paurley," cried Mrs. M'Lerie, and fled to hear the news. ' * Weel ? Ha 'e ye gotten the organ I ' ' inquired Mrs. Munro, three minutes later. Mrs. M'Lerie silently shook her head, choked slightly, and rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes. "That 's an unco peety," said Mrs* Munro, gently. 1 1 Miss Paurley brocht me a rale braw shawl in a present," faltered Mrs. M'Lerie, " But but she tell't me a man in P-P-Paisley had gotten the organ. Sirs the day! An' ma son John's wee lassie" 68 MRS. M'LERIE Her friend looked sympathetic. "Weel, weel, it's a' by noo. An' we canna blame onybody. Thae things is aye dune fair, as fair can be, so we "I ha'e ma doots, Mistress Munro, I ha 'e ma doots, ' ' sighed Mrs. M' Lerie. V MRS. MUNRO 'S PARTY , come ben, Mistress M'Le- rie,' ' said Mrs. Munro, eagerly. 1 1 It wis rale kind o ' ye to come early, and to bring the birds wi' ye. 'Deed, it wis mair nor or 'nar ' kind o ' ye. An ' ye 're that warm ! ' ' "Ay, I'm warm," gasped Mrs. M* Lerie. "I never thocht the birds wis as heavy afore," she added, as she en- tered her friend's little parlor. "Weel, ye cairrit them a gey lang road, an ' I 'm awf u ' obleeged to ye. ... Sit doon, sit doon an' rest ye. Pit the birds on the side table. Wud ye tak' jist a toothfu' o' speerits, Mistress M' Lerie? " 70 MRS. M'LERIE "Na, na; thenk ye kindly, a' the same," replied the visitor, holding up her right hand, as if to emphasize her rejection of the offer. " I'll jist sit a wee an ' get ma breith. Hech ! sirs the day ! I never thocht the birds wis hauf as heavy." "I'm rale vexed I canna gi'e ye a dish o' tea jist this meenit, but if ye '11 wait, I'll-" "Aw, dinna fash yersel', Mistress Munro, dinna fash yersel'. I ken ye maun be sair thrang the day. . . . Dinna fash yersel.' I 'm no' heedin' aboot tea. I cudna drink it if ye wis to poor it doon ma throat. I cudna, reely. Ye see, I cam' roon* to help ye the day no* to mak' mair wark fur ye, an'- "Weel, it's rale kind o' ye. An' I wish ye wis comin' to yer supper the nicht," said Mrs. Munro. "Aweel, we'll no' say ony mair aboot MRS. MUNRO'S PARTY 71 that," said Mrs. M'Lerie, in tones sug- gesting longing, regret, and perhaps res- ignation. " Noo," she continued, ris- ing from her seat, " I'll shin ha'e the birds ready fur ye." And going to the table, she began to undo the large parcel she had brought with her. It was wrapped in numerous newspapers, and tied with several varieties of string, supplemented by some yards of gray worsted. " I doot I wudna get a job in a shope," remarked Mrs. M'Lerie, with a laugh. "I never cud mak' a nate pair- eel." "I think ye've made a vera nate pair- cel, Mistress M'Lerie," returned her friend, who was anxiously watching the undoing. "An' I think it's maist ex- tra or 'nar' kind o' ye to len' me yer birds." 1 ' Toots, havers ! Mistress Munro ! It 's 72 MRS. M'LERIE naethin' ava'. Of coorse, ye ken, I wudna len' ma birds to anybody. Nae fears ! But you an ' me 's auld f reen 's, Mistress Munro I'm say in' we're auld f reen 's an' I ken ye '11 tak' guid care o' the birds." "I wull that, Mistress M'Lerie. I'll tak' rale guid care o' yer birds. . . . My ! As shair 's I 'm here, I never seen sic fine birds ! ' Mrs. M'Lerie, having removed the wrappings, gazed with great gratifica- tion at her case of stuffed birds, and could not help smiling proudly as Mrs. Munro poured forth her eulogies. " Mistress M'Lerie," said the latter, enthusiastically, "I've seen mony birds, but never ony like thur ! ' "Och, ye 're jist say in' that fur to please me, Mistress Munro, ' ' murmured the other, delightedly. " May I dee this vera meenit! " ex- MRS. MUNRO'S PARTY 73 claimed Mrs. Munro, ''if I 'm no' speakin ' the plain truth ! An ' I tell ye I'm rale prood to ha'e the birds sittin' on the wee table at the pairty, an' I 'm awfu' obleeged to ye fur the len' o' them. Thon paurrit's jist glorious! ' : "It 's no' a paurrit, Mistress Munro, it 's a bird o' Paradise. The yin ablow it's a paurrit, and the wee yin abin it's a hummin'-bird it mak's a bizz like a bum-bee that 's whit I wis tell't, ony- wey, but I ha'e nia doots an' the ither yin 's a nostreech, an' " "Aw, it's no' an ostrich, Mistress M' Lerie, ' ' said Mrs. Munro, smiling. "Is't no'? Weel, I'm shair that wis whit Captain Bawr tell't ma man when he gi 'ed him the birds. Ay ; I 'm shair he said it wis a nostreech." "Ostriches is lairge beasts wi' lang legs like hens, an' ostrich feathers in their tails. ' ' 74 MRS. M'LERIE "Are they? Maybe ye 're richt; but I'm shair Captain Bawr said" "Folk can ride on ostriches," said Mrs. Munro. "Fine ham! " said Mrs. M'Lerie. "But I Ve seen picturs o' folk ridin' on ostriches," Mrs. Munro insisted. Mrs. M'Lerie gave a sniff. "I yinst seen a pictur o' a man ridin' a coke on a steeple," she said derisively. "But I seen a pictur i' the 'Sawbath Companion,' ' returned Mrs. Munro, triumphantly. "If it wisna the 'Saw- bath Companion,' it wis the 'Sunday Treasury.' "Weel, I daursay I'm wrang," ad- mitted Mrs. M'Lerie, overcome by the evidence against her. ' * But I aye thocht the bird wis a nostreech. . . . Maybe it's a young yin, jist oot the egg," she suggested hopefully. Mrs. Munro shook her head. "Na, MRS. MUNRO'S PARTY 75 na ; an ostrich 's egg 's f aur bigger nor yer bird wi' a' its feathers. I yinst seen an ostrich's egg in the museum." "Mphm! Ye see some queer like sichts in the museum, Mistress Munro; ye see some gey queer like" 1 'Tits! Ye 're no 'to be offendit. I'm jist tellin' ye whit I ken aboot ostriches, Mistress M'Lerie. I 'm thinkin' the bird we're speakin' aboot is a kin' o' furrin bird a kin' o' cockatoo, maybe." "Aweel, it's a' yin," said Mrs. M'Lerie. "But I aye thocht it wis a nostreech. . . . I 'm no' heedin' ony- wey. ' ' "Whitever it is," exclaimed Mrs. Munro, pleasantly, "it '11 be a fine orna- ment to ma paurlor; an' I'm shair it'll be vera highly admired an' tooken no- tice o'." Her visitor could not but feel grati- fied. "Weel, I 'm shair I 'm gled ye 're 76 MRS. M'LERIE pleased, Mistress Munro; I 'm gled ye 're pleased," she said. "I 'm jist vexed ye canna come to yer supper," Mrs. Munro replied. "It wis a daft-like thing o' me to ha'e a pairty on the Wensday nicht when I micht ha'e mindit that you and yer man gaed to the prayer-meetin '. ' ' "Aweel, it cudna be helpit," sighed her friend. " Ye see," said Mrs. Munro, rather apologetically, "ma dochter Jeannie her that 's mairrit on Rubbert M'Cul- loch wis in the hoose on Setterday, and she says to me, says she, 'Whit day 's Wensday? ' An' I says to her, says I, 'Wensday 's jist Wensday.' An' she lauchs a wee, an' I speirs at her whit she 's lauchin' at. An' she turns to Eubbert an' she says to him, says she, 'Rubbert, wud ye like me to furget ma waddin' day! ' An' Rubbert gi'es her MRS. MUNRO'S PARTY 77 a wink, an ' tells her to baud her tongue. But she gi'es anither bit lauch, an' says to me, 'Are ye no' fur ha 'em' a pairty on Wensday, mither? ' says she. 'A pairty? ' says I. 'Whit fur a pairty! ' 'Weel, on Wensday, you an' fayther '11 ha'e been mairrit five-an'-twinty year,' says she. At that, ma man, wha 's nod- din' at the fireside, luks up an' cries, 'A hunner an' twinty-five year, ye mean.' He maun aye ha'e his bit joke, ye ken, Mistress M'Lerie. Ha ! ha ! 'Deed, ay ! . . . An' then ma dochter Jeannie says to me, says she, * Ye maun ha 'e a pairty, mither, fur it '11 be yer siller waddin' ! ' ; "Oh, I see the meanin' o' the pairty noo," said Mrs. M'Lerie. "But I doot yer dochter 's gaun in wi' the gentry, Mistress Munro, I doot she 's gaun in wi ' the gentry! ' "I'm feart ye 're richt, Mistress M'Lerie. But whit can a buddy dae? 78 MRS. M'LERIE The young yins flees up afore ye ken whaur ye are! An' afore I kent whaur I wis, I said I wud ha'e a pairty, an' ma man said I maun keep ma word. Ma certy ! Ye never ken whit a man '11 say or dae ! ' "Ye 're richt there, Mistress Munro, ye 're richt there ! But I 'm rale gled ye 're gaun to ha'e a pairty. . . . But we best be stairtin' to pit things stracht. ' ' ' ' 'Deed, ay, ' ' assented Mrs. Munro, and for nearly an hour the twain labored between the parlor and the kitchen. "Ye '11 be ha 'em' a pie the nicht," re- marked Mrs. M' Lerie when, at last, they sat down for a brief rest and a dish of tea. " Jist that. Sandy Broon, the baker, is coverin' it an' firin' it, an' he 's no chairgin' onythin', seem' he 's comin' to the pairty hisseP. An 'we 're ha'ein' ham MRS. MUNRO'S PARTY 79 sangwiches furbye ma dochter said it wisna the thing to ha'e an' evenin' pairty, as she ca'ed it, wi'oot sang- wiches an' she said she wud mak' them hersel'. If ye jist keek intil the press ahint ye, Mistress M'Lerie, ye '11 see rnaist o' the things that '11 be on the table the nicht." ' ' My ! ' was about all the visitor could say when she inspected the store of good things. "My! ' ' ' Ye see, I tell 't ma man there wis nae use ha'ein' a pairty an' no' feedin' the folk. An' he said, lauchin '-like, says he, 'Ye 're richt there, auld wife; an' I think I cud enjye a dacent meal masel' efter five-an '-twinty years.' He maun ha'e his bit joke, ye ken. Ha! ha! ... But I 'm that vexed ye canna come to yer supper the nicht, Mistress M' Lerie. I 'm shair yer man micht let ye aff the meetin' fur yince. Onywey, he micht 80 MRS. M'LERIE come wi' ye efter the meetin 's ower. I ken he 's rale stric', but "Aw, whisht, whisht, Mistress Munro! ' "But shairly ye micht gi'e him a bit hint that ye 're wantin' to "Na, na; na, na! " said her friend, sadly. "He wudna like it. ... Whit maun be maun be. ... I'm thinkin' we best be gettin' on wi' tidyin' the paur- lor," she said, with a badly feigned cheerfulness. A minute later she was polishing the glass case of her beloved birds, and say- ing to herself, "Aweel, it 's a' yin." VI MRS. M'LERIE is DEPRESSED WITH an expression of profound anxiety, Mrs. Munro regarded her old friend, who sat opposite her in a languid and listless attitude, gazing hopelessly at the fire without noticing that it required replenishing. Mrs. Munro had brought back the case of stuffed birds which Mrs. M'Lerie had lent her a few days previous, but Mrs. M'Lerie had received the best beloved of her household treasures without the slightest sign of animation, remarking gloomily: "Aweel, it 's a' yin," and sighing heavily. "But I Ve tooken rale guid care c 81 82 MRS. M'LERIE o' yer birds, Mistress M'Lerie," Mrs. Munro had said, truthfully enough. "Ay, I 'm shair o' that," Mrs. M'Le- rie had returned. "But the birds is jist vanity, an' I doot I Ve been ower prood o' them." And here she had groaned. Then Mrs. Munro, fairly puzzled, and not a little depressed, had laid the case on the parlor table and seated herself in the chair she had come to regard as her own; and Mrs. M'Lerie had col- lapsed into the arm-chair on the other side of the fireplace and had groaned again. "Whit 's like the maitter, Mistress M' Lerie ? ' ' the visitor had at last made bold to inquire. "Oh, I 'm no' weel, Mistress Munro, I 'm no ' weel, ' ' the hostess had replied. Mrs. Munro had been so surprised at the doleful statement, that words had MRS. M'LERIE IS DEPRESSED 83 failed her, and all she could do was to gaze anxiously, and also sympatheti- cally, at the other for nearly ten minutes. But at last she said gently, "'Deed, I 'm sair vexed to hear ye sayin' ye 're no' weel, Mistress M'Lerie. I 'm shair I never heard ye say sic a thing afore. Is 't yer heid that 's hurtin' ye? ' "Na; it 's no' jist exac'ly ma heid. . . . But I 'm no' weel, Mistress Munro, I 'm no' weel." "Hoots, toots! Ye 're lukin' fine!" said Mrs. Munro, with an effort at cheeriness. Mrs. M'Lerie shook her head, and kept silence. "Is there onythin' I can get ye? " in- quired her friend, greatly disturbed. Mrs. M'Lerie shook her head again. After a little pause she said, slowly and tremulously, "It wis a peety ye brocht back the birds, Mistress Munro ; 84 MRS. M'LERIE I 'm thinkin' it wis a peety ye had a' the trouble o' bringin' back the birds. ' ' "I cudna dae less. I'm shair it wis rale kind o' ye to len' me the birds. I can tell ye, Mistress M'Lerie, the birds wis greatly admired an' tooken no- tice o'." "Wis they? " inquired Mrs. M'Lerie, interested for a moment. But she re- lapsed immediately. ' ' But it wis a peety ye had a' the trouble o' bringin' back the birds. Fur I I wis gaun to leave the birds to ye onywey, Mistress Munro ; ay, I 'm sayin' I 'm gaun to leave ma birds to yersel,' an' naebody else, ma auld freen'." And poor Mrs. M'Lerie almost wept. "Leave yer birds to me?" exclaimed Mrs. Munro, quite mystified. "Ay, jist that. Ye ye '11 get the birds when I 'm deid, Mistress Munro ; MRS. M'LERIE IS DEPRESSED 85 ay, ye '11 get the birds, and the gless case furbye, when' Then Mrs. Munro rose in alarm. "Ye 're no' to say sic' awfu' things!" she cried. Mrs. M'Lerie did not appear to hear. "I 'm shair ye '11 tak' guid care o' ma birds when I 'm awa'," she said softly. "Aye keep the gless on. ... I 'm feart fur cats gettin ' at the birds. ... I mind Mistress M'Conky had birds they wisna near as fine as mine an' yinst when she wis washing the gless the cat gaed into the paurlor an' pu'ed the heids an' wings an' tails aff a' the birds. Ay, an'-" But Mrs. Munro was now quite terri- fied. "Whit 's ado wi' ye, whit 's ado wi' ye!" she exclaimed. "I 'm no' weel, Mistress Munro, I 'm no' weel," was the reply, given sadly and humbly. 86 MRS. M'LERIE "But but whaur are ye no' weel!" gasped her visitor in desperation. "It 's ma back, Mistress Munro, it 's ma back. ' ' "Yer back! Mercy me! Whit's wrang wi ' yer back 1 ' ' Mrs. M' Lerie made no response. "Ha'e ye had the doctor the day?" asked Mrs. Munro. "Na." ' ' When had ye the doctor I ' ' "Never." ' ' Never ! Oh, wumman, whit wey dae ye no' get the doctor when ye 're no' weel? Wull I rin doon to the druggist an' tell him ye want him to send up Doctor M'Haffie? Ay, I '11 jist dae that." ' < Na, na ! Ye 're no ' to dae that. ' ' "Ay, but I wull! If ye 're no' weel, ye maun get the doctor." And Mrs. Munro made to leave the room. MRS. M'LERIE IS DEPRESSED 87 1 ' Stope ! Ye 're no ' to gang ! ' ' cried her friend. * ' The doctor canna dae me ony guid." "We '11 shin see aboot that! " "Weel, weel, bide a wee, Mistress Munro. Sit ye doon, an' I '11 tell ye a' aboot it. ... I 'm sayin' the doc- tor canna dae me ony guid. Or'nar' meddicines is nae guid fur me. . . . Sit ye doon, Mistress Munro, sit ye doon." Rather unwillingly, Mrs. Munro re- sumed her seat. She was certainly much paler than her hostess. ' ' Is yer back hurtin ' ye the noo ? ' ' she inquired nervously. "No* jist the noo," said Mrs. M'Le- rie. "No' jist the noo," she repeated, almost as if she were ashamed of having to make the admission. "It 's aye bad at nicht jist aboot the time when he comes hame to his tea." 88 MRS. M'LERIE "But whit dis yer man say aboot it, Mistress M'Lerie?" 1 i Oh ! Ye mauna let bug to ma man ! I wudna tell him fur onythin ' ! ' "Ah, but that '11 no' dae, that '11 no' dae! I 'm shair yer man wud be sair pit aboot; but, a' the same, he sud ken if ye 're no' weel. But I 'm thinkin' ye 're maybe no' as bed as ye think ye are," said Mrs. Munro, kindly, meaning to administer comfort and encourage- ment. "I 'm tellin' ye I 'm near dune fur," said Mrs. M'Lerie, a trifle sharply. "Och, ye 're no' to say that. Ye 're jist a wee thing doon i' the mooth, an' if ye wis gettin' the doctor, he wud shin" "The doctor canna dae me ony guid. " "Hoo dae ye ken that? " "The paper says it." ' ' The paper ? Whit paper I ' ' MRS. M'LERIE IS DEPRESSED 89 "The paper aboot the peells. . . . Here the paper." And Mrs. M'Lerie, after some fumbling, produced from the large pocket of her petticoat a frequently folded sheet of shabby green paper with much printing upon it. Mrs. Munro stretched out her hand for it, but her friend retained it, regarding the letterpress with dismal interest. "I Ve tooken seeven boaxes, an' I 'm nae better," she observed, with a sigh. "An' the paper says sax boaxes is suf- feecient fur to effect a cure in the maist convex cases." "Eh? . . . Oh, ay; ye mean com- plex cases. Complex is anither word fur 'confused.' "Aweel, it 's a' yin. . . . But the paper says when yinst the disease gets a grup o' ye, nae doctor can dae ye ony guid; but if ye tak' the peells in time yin efter every meal ye get better. But 90 MRS. M'LERIE ye Ve got to tak ' the peells in time, Mis- tress Munro, ye Ve got to tak' them in time. . . . An' I didna tak' them in time. An ' the paper says mony a life is lost wi' no' takin' the peells in time. . . . That 's me!" "Ach! " cried Mrs. Munro, trying to laugh, but feeling more like tears, 4 'ye 're no' to believe a' ye see in prent. Na!" "Ay; but luk at a' the testimonies o' the meenisters, ' ' said Mrs. Munro, hand- ing the green paper to her visitor, and indicating a long column of testimonials signed by reverend gentlemen. Mrs. Munro read over the pamphlet, which set forth that there was no cure for a pain in the back but Doctor Dol- lop's Glistening Globules; and that a pain in the back, if neglected for any length of time, was almost sure to de- velop, more or less quickly, into death. MRS. M'LERIE IS DEPRESSED 91 The pamphlet was a lurid affair, and Mrs. M'Lerie had been deeply and cruelly affected by it since she had found it, some three months ago, among the pages of her favorite and venerated paper, "The Sunday Sen- tinel." * ' Ye never tell 't me aboot this, ' ' said Mrs. Munro, when she had read through most of the pamphlet, not without be- ing impressed by its many terrible warnings. "Aweel, I didna want to disturb ye; an' I thocht I wud be better efter I had tooken sax boaxes o' the peells. But I 'm no' ony better, an' an'- "But maybe the paper 's a' wrang." "I 've tried to think that, Mistress Munro, I 've tried to think that. But I canna gang ag'in' a' the meenisters' tes- timonies. An' if the peells cured the meenisters, whit wey did they no' cure 92 MRS. M'LERIE me? ... It 's jist because I wis ower late ower late takin' them." Mrs. Munro drew a long breath. Then she said, with considerable violence, "De'il tak' yer 'Sunday Sentinel,' an' yer Doctor Dollops, an' yer peely-wally meenisters, an'- "Aw, whisht, whisht," said Mrs. M' Lerie. "I'll no' whisht!" retorted Mrs. Munro. "Hoo lang has yer back been hurtin' ye? " she suddenly demanded. "Ten year, onywey," replied Mrs. M' Lerie, sighing. "Ten year," she re- peated, "an' the paper disna tell o' ony- body bein' cured efter seeven year. . . . Sirs, the day ! It 's a wunner I 'm leevin ' yet. It maun be whit they ca' a spay- cial dispensary o ' Providence that "Ye mean dispensation, Mistress M' Lerie? " "Aweel, it 's a' yin. But" MRS. M'LERIE IS DEPRESSED 93 "Ye wis tellin' me yer back disna hurt ye the noo," Mrs. Munro inter- rupted. "Dis it hurt ye ever i' the mornin ' ? " * * Na ; I canna say it dis. ' ' "P the efternune? " ' * Whiles. But it 's warst at nicht. ' ' "Mphm," muttered Mrs. Munro, looking thoughtful. "I suppose," she went on presently, "it '11 hurt ye gey sair efter ye 're scrubbit the kitchen flure?" "Ay, it hurts me warst then." ' ' An ' ye scrub the kitchen flure every Wensday mornin ' efter yer guid man 's aff to his work? Eh?" "Ay." "An' yesterday wis Wensday, wis 't no', Mistress M'Lerie? ' * Ay. Fine I ken it wis ! I thocht ma back wis broke. ' ' "Jist that. An' the ither mornin 's 94 MRS. M'LERIE ye 're at yer son John's hoose, helpin' his guidwife an' dandlin' his wee lassie, an'-" ' l Aw, ye never seen a bonnier wean ! ' cried Mrs. M'Lerie, smiling proudly. "An' then ye come hame an' get things ready fur yer man," continued Mrs. Munro. "Ay, jist that. But ye never seen a bonnier wean, Mistress Munro, ye never seen a bonnier wean ! An ' she 's got twa teeth noo, an' ye never hear her girn, an'-" "Bootless," said her friend, shortly. "But whit I wis gaun to say wis this ' She paused. "Whit? " asked Mrs. M'Lerie. * * I wis gaun to ask ye fur a wheen o ' yer peells, fur ma back 's been sair near every nicht since I wis mairrit. D'ye hear, Mistress M'Lerie I Ma back 's been sair near every" MRS. M'LERIE IS DEPRESSED 95 "An' ye never let bug," said Mrs. M'Lerie, with a quick look of sympa- thy. "Aw, Mistress Munro, I 'm that vexed! ' "Aweel, ye can gi'e 's yer peells," cried the other. Mrs. M'Lerie gazed wonderingly at her friend for several seconds. Then she took a pill-box from the mantel- piece. "Ye 're welcome to the peells," she said. "Maybe," she added doubtfully, ' * they '11 dae you guid. ' ' "Thenk ye," said Mrs. Munro, taking the pill-box and putting it into the red- dest part of the fire. ' ' Oh, dearie me ! " cried Mrs. M'Lerie. Her visitor burst into a loud laugh. "Sair back! " she exclaimed. "Ye 're no* the only wife in Glesca wi' a sair back when the nicht comes! An' ye think yer deein ' ! " 96 MBS. M'LERIE "But but-but " "Aw, Mistress M'Lerie, ma auld freen', yer back 's maybe sair, but yer e'e 's as bricht as when ye wis a lassie. Micht I speir if ye wis concairned aboot yer back afore ye read this paper?" And Mrs. Munro put the paper where she had put the pill-box. Mrs. M'Lerie did not reply at once, but when she did it was in rather an apologetic fashion. And after saying, "I ha'e ma doots," to several of her friend's cheering observations, she ad- mitted that, after all, she might have been suffering from nothing worse than a slight attack of "nervous agility," and confessed that she did not feel a bit older than she had done a year ago. ' ' Weel, weel, ' ' she said, * * maybe ye 're richt, an' maybe I 'm wrang. . . . But MRS. M'LERIE IS DEPRESSED 97 ye see, I didna want to vex ma man, an' I didna want to vex ma son John, an' I didna want to vex yerseP, Mistress Munro, an' an' Are ye fur a dish o ' tea, Mistress Munro? " vn AN AFFRONT awa' ben, Mistress Munro, come awa' ben," said Mrs. M'Le- rie, hospitably, guiding her friend into the little parlor. "Are ye no' ower busy? " inquired Mrs. Munro. "Na, na; I 'm no' that thrang the day. An' hoo 's a' wi' ye? Ye '11 ha'e come roon' to hear aboot the surree, like? " "Jist that, Mistress M'Lerie. But I 'm no ' gaun to bide a meenit if ye 're the least thing thrang." "Aw, sit ye doon, sit ye doon. The kettle 's jist on the bile, an' we '11 ha'e a dish o' tea, an' I '11 tell ye a' aboot 98 AN AFFRONT the surree, an ' welcome. It wis an unco peety ye cudna gang, but it wis a mercy ye hadna peyed fur yer tuckets, you an ' yer man. I mind when auld Mistress Wallace's man got twa tuckets fur a surree an' peyed fur them jist three days afore he dee 'd. An ', if ye '11 believe me, Mistress Munro, Mistress Wallace has thae tuckets yet, an' they 're near twal' year auld. ' ' "Cud she no' get the money back?" asked Mrs. Munro, who had seated her- self at the window. 1 'No' a farden! The commytee gaed bankrupt. I heard it wis wi ' gi 'ein ' the folk a' a cookie ower an' abin the usual onywey, it tuk them a' their time to pey the baker an' the singers, let alane Mistress Wallace." "But I wudna think the commytee that wis lukin' efter last nicht's sur- ree wud gae bankrupt an' refuse fur 100 MRS. M'LERIE to pey fur tuckets that hadna been used." "Maybe no', Mistress Munro, maybe no'. But I aye think it 'a jist a temptin' o ' Providence to buy tuckets fur a surree afore the vera day. Of coorse, ye ken the yin I had fur last nicht wis wis whit d'ye ca' it?" ' * Complimentary. ' ' "Ay. So I wisna takin' ony risk, as it were. But I maun see aboot the tea. Keep yer sate, Mistress Munro, I '11 no ' be lang." Five minutes later the twain were to- gether again. "Weel, aboot the surree, Mistress M'Lerie," said Mrs. Munro, as soon as the cups were filled. ' ' Weel, as ye ken, ma man, bein ' fores- man in sic a big work as Maister Paur- ley's, wis on the platform, an' Mistress Gairdner an' masel' gaed early an' got AN AFFRONT 101 a sate whaur we had a graun view o ' the hale proceedings. There wis mony a bigger dickie on the platform, but no' yin cleaner nor ma man's." 1 ' I believe ye, Mistress M' Lerie. Wha wis in the chair ? ' ' put in Mrs. Munro. "I dinna mind his name, but I wis rale vexed fur him when he got up to mak' a speech. He had nae mair v'ice nor a moose, but to see him ye wud ha'e thocht he wis roarin' at the folk. An' he wis shakin' an' sweetin' an' pechin', puir man, an' the folk wis aye gi'ein' him a bit stamp an' cheer to gar him haste, an' the yins on the platform whiles clappit an' duntit the table to encourage him. 'Deed, I wis vexed fur him. Ma man said to me efter that he wis a rale fine gentleman, but nae spokes- man. ' ' ' * But a ' that wud be efter ye had yer tea." 102 MRS. M'LERIE "Ay. I wis gaun to tell ye aboot the tea. My ! I wis that aff rontit wi ' Mis- tress Gairdner! Aw, ye never seen sic a thing, Mistress Munro ! ' 1 l Whit wis that 1 She wisna poochin ', shairly. ' ' ' ' Na, na. But she wis poorin ' oot the tea frae yin o' thon things, an' " "Ye mean the urn." "Mphm. She wis fillin' her ain cup when she begood to sneeze, an' pu'ed back her haun' quick, ye ken. But her finger wis catched in the wee handle, an ' she pu 'ed ower the hale affair, an ' broke twa cups an' a saucer, an' drookit a' her pastries, an' soakit her claes, an' gey near droondit a wean wha wis sittin' aside her! . . . But that wisna whit affrontit me. Afore I kent whaur I wis, she had slippit oot the door we wis sittin' near a door, ye ken an' she never cam' back. An' near a' the folk thocht I had made the mess ay, even the AN AFFRONT 103 waiter said, * Ye auld footer ! ' ablow his breith, an' a laddie in the gallery cried doon, 'Haw, Mistress, is yer biler brustit? ' " " The impiddence! " exclaimed Mrs. Munro, indignant and sympathetic. "But that wisna a'," went on Mrs. M'Lerie, "that wisna a', Mistress Munro. It wis a gey lang while afore I cud luk up at the platform again, an' when I did tak' a bit keek, there wis ma man sittin' wi' a rid face an' no' peyin' ony attention to his tea or the crack that wis gaun on roon' aboot him. I tried fur to catch his e'e, but he wudna luk ma wey, an' I shin seen that he wis affrontit tae. An ' I wis near cryin ' oot to him, 'It wisna me, it wisna me!' jist like a wean, ye ken." "'Deed, I can unnerstaun' hoo ye wud feel, Mistress M'Lerie," said Mrs. Munro, kindly. "Aw, I wis that ashamed, Mistress 104 MRS. M'LERIE Munro, I wis that ashamed. I tried to eat ma pastry, but it wis like to choke me; an' yinst or twicet I wis near gettin' up an' fleein' awa' hame. But I thocht it wis best to keep ma sate, an' efter a wee the folk stoppit frae lukin' at me, an ' the wean that Mistress Gaird- ner had near droondit wi' the tea says to me, the daurlin'! says she, 'I ken it wisna you, Mistress.' An' that gar'd me feel a wee thing easier, an' I gi'ed her ma pastry. Then we a' got up an' sang the psawrn, ye ken, an' efter that cam' the speakin ' that I tell't ye aboot. ' ' "An' efter that the concert, nae doot." " Jist that. But I didna enjye the con- cert, Mistress Munro, I didna enjye the concert. ' ' "Did ye no'? Had they no' a guid comic 1 I aye think the concert depends on the comic, Mistress M'Lerie. The AN AFFRONT 105 ither singers is a' vera weel fur gi'ein' the comic a bit rest. Had they no' a guid comic last nicht? " "Ay, I 'm no' sayin' onythin' ag'in' him; an' the folk wis a' lauchin' whin- ever he cam' on the platform. But but hoo cud I lauch at a comic, Mistress Munro, hoo cud I lauch at a comic wi' ma man sittin' there lukin' meeserable? Tell me that, Mistress Munro ! ' ' "Weel, weel," said the visitor, sooth- ingly, "I daursay ye 're richt. But maybe if ye had gi'ed a lauch noo an' then, yer man micht ha'e lauched tae. D'ye see?" "Ay, I see whit ye mean. But I maun tell ye, that I wis whit they ca' laborin' intil a collusion, Mistress Munro. ' ' "Eh? Oh, ay. Under a delusion, ye mean. ' ' "Aweel, it 's a' yin. I wis laborin' 106 MBS. M'LERIE that wey, onywey. I thocht ma man wis affrontit, but I fun' oot efter it wis jist his teeth wis hurtin ' him. ' ' * ' D 'ye tell me that f Dearie me ! He sud get them ta'en oot, Mistress M'Le- rie." " 'Deed, they 're jist new in, puir man. An' that wis the wey he cudna tak' his tea nor lauch at the comic. But I didna ken that till the surree wis ower. ' ' Mrs. M' Lerie paused for a few moments, then added, very solemnly, "But I '11 never be freen's again wi' Mistress Gairdner no' if she wis to gang on her bendit knees! I 'm jist tellin' ye." "I doot she '11 be gey ashamed o' her- sel ' the day, ' ' observed Mrs. Munro, and proceeded to change the subject but soon reverted to it, for, after a hasty glance out of the window, she drew back hastily, exclaiming, "Weel, I never! If it 's no' jist hersel' comin' up the street! " AN AFFRONT 107 "Eh! Whit d'ye say? " " I 'm sayin ' I seen Mistress Gairdner comin ' up the street. Wull she be comin ' here, think ye? ' "She '11 no' get in this hoose, ony- wey! ' cried the hostess, excitedly. She '11 be in the close noo, but she can I warrant ye! ' And Mrs. M'Lerie peeped cautiously from the window. ' ' I canna see her. I doot she 's comin'. She '11 be in the close noo, but she can ring, an ' ring, an ' ring, but I '11 no ' open the door to her." "Maybe she 's comin' to say she 's sorry. ' ' "Weel, she can say that at the key- hole. If she comes to the door, me an' you '11 never let on we 're in the hoose. ' ' "There she is," whispered Mrs. Munro, as a timid tinkle was heard. Mrs. M' Lerie pursed her lips. "I doot she 's awfu' ashamed," said Mrs. Munro, softly. 108 MRS. M'LERIE A minute passed, and they heard an- other little ring. They looked at each other awhile. 1 * She '11 be gaun awa ' noo, ' ' said Mrs. Munro, at last. 4 'Let her gang!" The bell rang a third time. "Aw, Mistress M'Lerie," said her friend, "ye sud let her in." "Na! " "Aw, but wis it no' her that knittit thon rale fine wee shawley fur yer son John's wee lassie?" Mrs. M'Lerie J s face changed instantly. " My ! If I hadna f urgot ! ' ' And she hurried from the parlor. She was too late. Her visitor had gone. She returned to the parlor with tears in her eyes; then suddenly flung open the window and bawled : "Come back, Mistress Gairdner, come back! " VIII THE JUMBLE SALE "IT NEVER gaed to a jungle sale J_ afore," remarked Mrs. M'Lerie, as she and her friend, each dressed in her best, stepped out of the close into the street, which was bright with the after- noon sunshine. "Weel, it 's no' the first time I Ve been at a jumble sale," returned Mrs. Munro, smiling. ''No' that I 'm whit ye micht ca' a frequenter o' jumble sales," she added. ''But whiles ye get a bargain, an'- "Ye 're shair there 's no' gaun to be ony rattles, Mistress Munro ? ' ' Mrs. M'Lerie interrupted anxiously. "Na, na. I tell't ye afore there wud 109 110 MRS. M'LERIE be nae raffles, so ye needna be feart, Mis- tress M' Lerie. Yer man cudna ha 'e ony objections at ye gaun to the jumble sale. It 's a' square an' fair, an' there's nae- body '11 ask ye to buy a pig in a poke. ' ' "I 'm gled o' that, Mistress Munro, I 'm gled o' that. Faur be it frae me to say that rattles isna workit honest- like, but I aye ha 'e ma doots ; ay, I ha 'e ma doots. As ye ken, I wis yinst catched wi' a tucket fur an organ, an' I 'm no ' gaun to be catched again. Na ! ' ' And Mrs. M' Lerie pursed her lips and nodded her head solemnly three times. Mrs. Munro checked the laugh that came with the recollection of the organ ticket, and proceeded to describe what her uninitiated companion was likely to see in the church hall, towards which they were wending their way. "Ye see," she said, "a jumble sale is a vera different thing to a bazaur. Near THE JUMBLE SALE 111 a' the things at the bazaur is new; but a' the things at a jumble sale is auld! 'Deed, ay ! Some o ' them 's gey auld ! . . . But ithers is no' that auld. Gen- try folk is no' needin' to wear holes in their claes, an' I Ve seen rale nice-like things gaun dirt-chape. I mind the last sale I wis at na, I 'm wrang; it wis the yin afore. Weel, there wis a young led- dy 's hat a beautiful hat! an' it wis nae stranger to me, fur the young leddy she 's Miss Smith, Doctor Smith's dochter sits in oor kirk, no' faur frae whaur we sit. Aw, it wis a beautiful hat, a' trimmed wi' roses, rid yins an' yella yins an' bew na! there wisna ony bew yins. An' whit d'ye think it wis priced at the jumble sale? Whit d'ye think, Mistress M'Lerie?" "I 'm shair I cudna guess, Mistress Munro. ' ' Mrs. Munro drew a long breath. 112 MRS. M'LERIE 1 1 May I dee this vera meenit, ' ' she said, solemnly, "if the beautiful hat wisna priced tippence! . . . Tippence!" "Weel, I never!" "That wis the price! An' I wudna wunner if it cost Miss Smith near ten shullin's when it wis new. An' there it wis priced tippence!" "Did ye buy it?" inquired Mrs. M* Lerie. "Na. It wis nae use to me. But I 'm jist tellin' ye the hale story to let ye see hoo things whiles gangs dirt-chape at jumble sales. An' mind ye, I 've heard o' folk buyin' auld things fur hauf nae- thin', an' sellin' them efter fur five pound ay, an' ten pound! " "It bates a'! Whit kin' o' things, Mistress Munro ? ' ' "Picturs, an' clocks, an' cheeny, an' ither things that 's aulder nor they 're bonnie. I mind hearin' o' a wife wha THE JUMBLE SALE 113 bocht a pictur fur a shullin'. The gless wis broke, an ' she tuk it to a man fur to get a new gless. An' whinever the man seen the pictur he speirt if she wud sell it. An ' she wis jist gaun to say, ' Hauf-a- croon, ' when he said, ' Five pound. ' An ' she got the 'five pound.' Ay! that wis a bargain fur ye, Mistress M' Lerie ! ' ' " An' an' wull they be sellin' picturs at the jungle sale the day?" Mrs. M' Le- rie asked breathlessly. "Ah, but ye mauna be lukin' fur a five-pound pictur at every jumble sale," said her friend, smiling. "Na, nal Ye see, it 's jist a chance in a hunner thoo- san '. ' ' "Mphm!" muttered Mrs. M' Lerie, disappointed, and a little ashamed of her eagerness. "I 'm thinkin' there a guid bit o' rattlin' wi' anither name at yer jungle sale. ' ' * * Hoots, toots ! Ye 're no ' to say that, 114 MRS. M'LERIE Mistress M' Lerie. As I said afore, it 's a' square an' fair." "I ha'e ma doots, Mistress Munro, I ha'e ma doots." "Aweel, ye '11 shin be there, an' ye '11 see it a ' fur yersel '. . . . Ye dinna need to buy onythin' unless ye like." "Are ye gaun to buy onythin' yer- sel'!" asked Mrs. M* Lerie, regaining her good humor. "Weel, I wis thinkin' o' buyin' a fen- der if I cud get yin aboot f owerpence. ' ' "A fender fur f owerpence!" "Jist that! I 've seen fenders gaun fur less. Of coorse, they 're gey sair bashed an' roostit. But it 's wunnerfu' whit ye can dae wi ' elbow-greese. ' ' "Fine I ken that, Mistress Munro, fine I ken that ! But a fender fur f ower- pence ! I never heard the like ! ' ' "Aw, that 's naethin' to whit ye '11 see afore ye 're dune. Mind, if ye 're THE JUMBLE SALE 115 wantin' to buy onythin', dinna gi'e the leddies a' they ask. If they ask a shul- lin' say ye '11 gi'e saxpence, an' ye '11 likely get the thing fur ninepence." "But I thocht the money wis fur the kirk," said Mrs. M'Lerie, looking thoughtful. "Ay, it 's fur the kirk. But a bar- gain 's a bargain. . . But here we are, ' ' said Mrs. Munro. "Is this the place? You gang furrit, Mistress Munro. . . . My ! whit a crood o'folk!" ' ' Ye sud see it at nicht, ' ' returned her friend. "Some sales has an auction at nicht, and, I can tell ye, it 's a sicht! But I dinna like the auction business ma- sel'. I aye buy things I dinna want. I yinst got landit wi ' a spy-gless that nae- body cud see through. I 'm shair I dinna ken to this day whit I bocht it fur, an' ma man lauchs at me yet. . . . 116 MRS. M'LERIE But we best tak' a luk roon' afore the crood gets bigger. Come awa', Mistress M* Lerie. Dinna be f eart. ' ' It was an hour and a half later. The two friends, who had lost each other for a portion of the period, met beside a group of chairs, all of which were more or less worn and damaged. "Is this whaur ye Ve been a' this time?" Mrs. Munro inquired solici- tously, " I 'm shair ye 're wearit. ' ' 1 i I 'm that warm ! I aye get that warm when I 'm in a crood. So I jist said to masel' I wud wait here, an' ha'e a sate. But they wudna let me sit doon unless I bocht the chair." "Wha wudna let ye sit doon?" de- manded Mrs. Munro, almost fiercely, glowering at some ladies in the neigh- borhood. "Aw, I cudna tell ye that noo. . . . THE JUMBLE SALE 117 Never heed. I 'm no ' as warm as I wis, an' I 'm rale gled to see ye again." "Wis ye feart?" "Och, I 'm no' that easy feart. Did ye buy a fender?" Mrs. Munro shook her head. "The fenders I seen wisna worth takin' awa'. I never seen sic like fenders ! An ' they wadna sell yin unner saxpence. Some folk ha 'e an ' awf u ' neck ! ' ' "Weel," said Mrs. M'Lerie, "I'm vexed ye didna get a fender. Wis there naethin' else ye wis wantin'?" 1 1 Na. Everythin ' 's ower dear the day. I '11 maybe come back the morn when the sellin' folk ha'e gotten some o' the consate ta 'en oot o ' them. I think we '11 jist gangnoo." "I I was thinkin'," began Mrs. M'Lerie, and paused. "Eh?" "It wis it wis a wee chair I seen in 118 MRS. M bert got a dizzen o ' clairet instead o ' the wee jaur o' whusky, fur we had young yins comin ' aboot the hoose, an ' leemon- ade 's mair puff nor pleesure, as ma brither. Peter says; but the clairet was gey wersh, an' we never had it i' the hoose again. We jist gi'ed the young yins ginger-beer an' a' the bun they cud eat, an' they liket it fine, I warrant ye! Rubbert said he thocht wur pallets wur stomachs, ye ken wisna eddicated up to chice wines, as he ca'ed them ; an' my brither Peter he 's an awfu' blether, Peter he said there wis sayin's in the MRS. DUMPHY CALLS 189 Guid Book ag'in' wine-bibbers, but nane ag'in' them as tuk a taste o' whusky whiles, but no' ower aften. Onyweys, we had nae mair clairet, an' Rubbert jist got the wee jaur o' whusky, the same as yer tastin' noo, Mistress Dumphy. (Sips a little and softly smacks her tongue against the roof of her mouth.) Mrs. Dumphy. An' it 's vera guid whusky, as I said afore, Mistress M* Le- rie. (Sips.) Ay, ay! It 's vera guid whusky. . . . Wud ye believe me, I hivna had speerits in the hoose since ma man dee'd, an' that 's twal' year come Mairch the seeventeenth. I hivna had speerits in the hoose since ma man dee 'd Na! ... I 'mwrang! . . . There wis speerits efter the funeral. Ay, efter the funeral. . . . But there wisna a drap left when the folk had ga'en awa'. . . . Hech ! Sirs, the day ! Twal ' year come Mairch the seeventeenth. Aw, Mistress 190 MRS. M'LERIE M'Lerie, it 's fine fur you that has yer man wi' ye, an' yer bairns comin' aboot ye whiles. Mrs. M'Lerie. (Solemnly.) 'Deed, ay! Me an' Kubbert has muckle to be thenkfu'fur. (Cheerfully.) Never heed, Mistress Dumphy, never you heed. It '11 a' be made up to ye some day! . . . Tak' a wee bit bun. See, there a nice bit. Mrs. Dumphy. Aw, I cudna, thenk ye a ' the same. It 's rale nice bun. Mrs. M'Lerie. Weel, jist assist yer- sel'. It '11 no' hurt ye. Mrs. Dumphy. I 'm kin' o' feart fur the awmonds in 't. Dae ye no' think awmonds an' peel is unco ill to digeest? Mrs. M'Lerie. (Laughing.) No' at Ne'erday, no' at Ne'erday, Mistress Dumphy! They 're Gordon awmonds, an' the peel 's jist the finest oranger an' MRS. DUMPHY CALLS 191 cistern, an ' a pun ' o ' the bun wudna hurt a flea. Mrs. Dumphy. Weel, jist the hauf o' 't, jist a tate. Mrs.M'Lerie. Tits, wumman ! Tak' up the piece ! The speerits '11 keep ye richt. . . . Losh me! yer gless is jist aboot emp 'y. Mrs. Dumphy. Oh, I 've plenty here. I wis jist thinkin' I wudna be able to feenish it, Mistress M'Lerie, beggin' yer paurdon fur sayin' sic a thing. Mrs. M'Lerie. Oh, ye maun feenish it, or I '11 be unco offendit. Ha ! ha ! . . . No* really offendit, ye ken. . . . But it 's the vera thing fur folk wi ' the dregs o' a cauld hingin' aboot them. Efter a', ye micht conseeder it as meddicine, fur it 's no' a thing ye 're takin' fre- quentlike. . . . Ay. An' ha'e ye ony word o' yer auld freen' Mistress Jamie- 192 MRS. M'LERIE son her that gaed to bide at Stra'- bungo I Mrs. Dumpliy. Aw, puir thing, I doot she 's gey faur through. She 's been rale badly since the simmer wi' pains in her back. I doot she 's near by wi' 't. I canna mind the name o' the disease somethin' like " attic." Mrs. M'Lerie. Oh, ay. I ken whit ye mean. It 's the asiatic she 's got. I mind the names of maist diseases, fur I yinst had a young doctor fur a ludger. Onywey, he wud ha'e been a doctor if he hadna changed his mind an' gaed awa' fur to be a sojer. He wis a rale nice young man. He wud get me ben to the paurlor when he wis at his tea, an' tell aboot folk gettin' their airms an' legs cut aff. An' he used to tell me furbye o' a' the diseases me an' ma man wud ha'e if we leeved lang enough an' ett saumon an' things oot o' tins. I MRS. DUMPHY CALLS 193 wis that vexed when he gaed awa', fur he wis a cheery yin to ha'e in the hoose, an' rale nice an' frank wi' me an' ma man, an'- Mrs. DumpTiy. Ay, ay! But I 'm feart puir Mistress Jamieson 's near by wi' 't. Mrs. M'Lerie. D'ye tell me that? But but ye mauna be thinkin' o' sic melancholical maitters the day, wum- man! Yer gless is emp'y. Ha'e! Mrs. Dumphy. Na, na. Thenk ye a' the same. Mrs. M'Lerie. Hoots! Jist hauf a toothfu'. . . . Na? Aweel, I wadnatak' ony mair masel ', but you bein ' whit the doctors ca' in the complacent stage o' recovery, I thocht ye micht be the bet- ter o' a little extra stimulation, as it were. But try anither bit bun. Here a bit wi' nae awmonds in it. ... Na? No' a bit bun either? Weel, 13 194 MRS. M'LERIE weel, ye inaun please yersel', Mistress Dumphy. (Conversation lapses for a minute.) Mrs. Dumphy. (Mournfully.) Ay, as I wis sayin', I 'm feart puir Mistress Jamieson 's near by wi' 't. Dearie me! to think o' a' the folk that 's deid wha wis yinst leevin' ! A' ma auld freen's is slippin' awa'. D'ye ken? I I brocht in the New Year a' ma lanesome a* ma lanesome. Mrs. M'Lerie. D'ye tell me that? Oh, sirs, that wis a sad job! Whit wey did ye no tak' the caur an' gi'e us a ca'? ... A' yer lanesome, an' me an' you wis lassies thegither! (The conversation breaks once more. Mrs. Dumphy is in tears; Mrs. M'Lerie is on the verge. Presently Mrs. M'Le- rie is struck by an idea.) Mrs. M'Lerie. (To herself.) I wun- ner whit Eubbert wud dae. I wunner MRS. DUMPHY CALLS 195 whit Rubbert wud dae. Rubber! cud never thole Weelyum Dumphy, but that 's an auld story. . . . Rubbert didna want folk on Ne'erday nicht as weel as Hogmanay. Rubbert wantit me an ' him to ha'e a wee bit supper thegither, wi'oot ony falderals. . . . But I wunner whit Rubbert wud dae. I wish he wud come in. I dinna want to dae the wrang thing. . . . But Rubbert had aye a guid heart, though he cudna thole "Weelyum Dumphy. Mrs. Dumphy. (Rising.) I '11 ha'e to be gaun noo. Whaur did I pit ma tippet ! Mrs. M'Lerie. (Hastily rousing her- self.) Toots! Whit's a' yer hurry? Rest ye, rest ye. Mrs. Dumphy. Na, na. Thenk ye kindly a' the same, but I maun be gaun. Aw, here ma tippet ablow the chair. Mrs. M'Lerie. (Aside.) I wunner 196 MRS. M'LERIE whit Rubber! '11 say. (Aloud.) Are ye gaun to some pairty the nicht, Mistress Dumphy? Mrs. Dumphy. Na, na. I wis jist gaun hame. There 's naebody Mrs. M'Lerie. Bide whaur ye are an ' tak' a bit supper wi' me an' Rubbert. Mrs. Dumphy. Aw, I cudna. Thenk ye kindly a' the same, but I really cudna bide. (But she does "bide"; and Rubbert, on his return, conceals his disappoint- ment and plays the host to the best of his ability, and to his wife's intense re- lief.) XIV JOHN MUNKO M'CULLOCH "AN' this is ma dochter's laddie," y~V continued Mrs. Munro, after she had greeted her old friend. "Come furrit, John, an' say 'Hoo d' ye do?' to Mistress M' Lerie. ' ' The youngster, who had been hanging back in a shy fashion, came forward as he was bidden and mumbled ' ' Hoo d ' ye do I " as if he grudged it. "I 'm rale weel, thenk ye, dearie," Mrs. M 'Lerie returned, patting his head kindly. "An' I 'm rale gled to see ye Whit did ye say his name wis?" she asked, turning to Mrs. Munro. 197 198 MRS. M'LERIE "Tell Mistress M'Lerie yer name, John," said the latter. "John," said John. "John whit?" "John Munro." "But that 's no' it a'." "John Munro M'Culloch," said the boy, staring about the room. * ' That 's a fine name, ' ' remarked Mrs. M'Lerie pleasantly. "A fine name fur a fine laddie. An' hoo auld are ye!" John, with his gaze fixed on the case of stuffed birds, appeared not to hear the question, and Mrs. Munro said: "Tell Mistress M'Lerie hoo auld ye are, laddie." "Five an' a hauf. Whit funny birds, Granny ! Can I get playin ' wi ' them ? ' ' "Na, na. But ye can get lukin' at them, if ye 're guid," his relative re- plied. ' ' 'Deed ay ! " said the hostess, ' ' he can get lukin' at them, an' welcome! But maybe he wud like a piece first, Mis- tress Munro?" "He disna need a piece. He 's jist had his dinner." ' ' But weans is aye ready fur a piece, an' I 've some rale nice jeely in the press. . . . Wud ye like a piece, dearie ? ' ' "Fine!" said John, promptly, evad- ing his grandmother's warning glance. ' ' Ye sud say ' If ye please, ' ' said the latter severely. "If ye please," he echoed placidly, still intent on the birds. Cheerfully Mrs. M'Lerie set about preparing the piece, and when she had given it to him and received his thanks, which were prompted in a loud whisper by Mrs. Munro, she took the chair opposite her friend, saying: "Ye wis wantin' to tell me somethin' parteeclar, wis ye no', Mistress Munro!" 200 MES. M'LERIE "I wis that," returned Mrs. Munro. ''An' I wis gaun to ask a great favor, Mrs. M. 1 Lerie. ' ' ' ' It 's grantit afore ye ask it. ' ' "I 'm shair I 'm greatly obleeged to ye. Well, Mistress M' Lerie, I 'm in a quandary, as it were." "A whit?" "A quandary means a kin' o' deeffi- culty." "I thocht it wis a beast." "If it wis a beast, I doot I wudna be here to tell ye aboot it," said Mrs. Munro, smiling. "I 'in gled ye 're no' in a beast ony- wey," said her friend half seriously, "fur there wud be srna' chance o' winnin' oot. An' whit 's the deeffi- culty, Mrs. Munro?" "I '11 tell ye in as few words as is possible, fur I maun get haine in twa- three meenits. Ye see, ma dochter 's JOHN MUNRO M'CULLOCH 201 wi ' nie the noo, an ' she 's awf u ' bad wi ' the cauld in her held, but she 's set her he'rt on gettin' John a new bunnet fur the Sawbath, an' she askit me to tak' him doon to Argyle Street an' buy him yin, but I 'm sweirt to leave her an' her baby sae lang in the hoose their lanesomes, an ' I wis wunnerin ' if ye cud be sae vera obleegin' as to be fashed takin' John doon to Argyle Street an' buyin' him a new bunnet. That 's the great favor I wis referrin' to, Mistress M'Lerie." "An' as I said afore, it 's grantit," said Mrs. M'Lerie kindly, though she was far from delighted at the thought of undertaking the commission. "Ay, it 's freely grantit, Mistress Munro," she added, * * fur I 'm vexed to hear yer dochter 's no' weel. As ye see, I 'm ready fur the road onywey, fur I wis gaun to gi'e puir Mistress Dumphy a 202 MRS. M'LERIE ca'. She 's in a sair melancholical con- deetion the noo. But I '11 jist ha'e to gang to see her anither day. But if I 'm gaun to Argyle Street, I '11 pit on ma gloves. ' ' "We micht gang thegither the morn," suggested Mrs. Munro, "an' try an' cheer her up a bit. But she wis aye a wumman o' whit ye micht ca' broodin' habits." "I doot she wis, puir buddy. . . . An' whit kin' o' a bunnet am I to buy fur Whit did ye say his name wis ? ' ' "John." "Weel, whit kin' o' a bunnet am I to buy? Sirs the day! It 's mony a lang year since I bocht a bunnet fur a laddie!" "Ye Ve to get him a Glengarry, an' there the money fur it." "A Glengarry. I maun try an' mind that." JOHN MUNRO M'CULLOCH 203 the same as he 's got the noo. So ye canna mak' a mistak'. But," continued Mrs. Munro in a whisper, "he 's got an awfu' cravin', as it were, fur a Kilmarnock, an' he '11 likely be tryin' to get ye to buy him yin instead o' the Glengarry." "But can he no' get a Kilmarnock, if he wants it?" inquired Mrs. M'Lerie. "His mither thinks it disna become him," said Mrs. Munro. "So jist you never heed him, an' get him a Glen- garry. Noo I maun gang. An' I 'm vera greatly obleeged to ye. . . . John Munro M'Culloch!" she cried sud- denly, "whit are ye daein' at Mistress M'Lerie's birds?" "Naethin'," the boy replied. "I hope ye hivna jeelied the nice gless case. Eh?" John shook his head violently. "I wis jist lukin' at the birds," he said. 204 MRS. M'LERIE " A' weans taks a fancy to rna birds, ' ? said Mrs. M'Lerie with pride. "Are yer birds real yins?" asked John. "Ay, they 're real," quickly returned the owner. John said nothing, but he looked as if he did not believe her. "Mistress M'Lerie 's gaun to tak' ye to get a braw new Glengarry bunnet," Mrs. Munro said as she carefully wiped his mouth with his handkerchief. "An' ye '11 be a guid laddie an' dae as she bids ye." "I 'm no ' wantin ' to gang wi ' her, ' ' he replied ungraciously. "Ye wee rascal! ha'e ye nae main- ners?" cried Mrs. Munro, with indig- nation. "Efter Mistress M'Lerie bein' so kin' as to say she wud tak' ye, an' gi'ein' ye a jeely piece furbye! Wud ye insult ma auld f reen "? " JOHN MUNRO M'CULLOCH 205 The hostess interposed gently, "Och, the wean didna mean onythin' wrang. Did ye, dearie?" "It wisna you it wis the bunnet," he muttered. ' ' I want a 'marnock. ' ' "But ye '11 gang wi' me," she said softly. "If he disna gang dooble-quick, I '11 tell his fayther. D' ye hear that, John!" said Mrs. Munro. "I want a 'marnock, Granny." "Weel, ye canna get yin. Ye 're ower jimp i' the face fur a Kilmar- nock. ' ' "I 'mno'!" "Tits! Come awa', Mistress M'Lerie, an' we '11 set oot. I 'm vexed fur gi'ein' ye sic a job, but jist you be stric' wi' him, an' it '11 be a' richt. Ye can bring him up to the hoose on yer road hame, an' I '11 ha'e a dish o' tea ready fur ye, though I ken weel 206 MRS. M'LERIE enough I canna produce tea hauf as weel 's yersel'. Mony 's the time I Ve said to freen's, 'There 's nae tea like Mistress M'Lerie's!" Mrs. M'Lerie accepted the compli- ment with a smile, and presently the three left the house. The boy was sulkily silent until he found himself alone with Mrs. M'Lerie in the car, when, with a half -hopeful ex- pression, he looked up in her face. " Are ye gaun to buy us a 'marnock? " "Na, na, dearie," she replied regret- fully, her black-gloved hand tightening on the little fingers. "Ye see, I maun buy ye whit yer mither wants ye to ha'e. Isthatno'richU" "Naw." "Oh 'Deed, I Ve furgot yer name. Whitwisit, noo?" "I '11 no' tell ye if ye '11 no' buy us a 'marnock. ' ' JOHN MUNRO M'CULLOCH 207 "That 's no' vera kin' o' ye," she said, feeling foolishly hurt. "I 'm no' heedin'." "Aw," she began, and stopped for want of his name. "Ye see," she re- sumed, almost wishing she had refused Mrs. Munro's request, "ye see, I Ve got to dae as I 'm bid as weel as yer- sel ', an ' if yer mither says ye Ve to get a a whit wis the name o' the bun- net?" "A 'marnock." "Eh? . . . Ah, ye rogue!" she ex- claimed, laughing in spite of herself, "ye mauna try fur to cheat yer auld f reen '. I ken ower weel it wisna a Kil- marnock. Whit wis the name o' the ither bunnet?" "I '11 no' tell ye." "But I ken it 's the same as the yin ye Ve gotten on," she said with a tri- umphant wag of her head. 208 MRS. M'LERIE "I '11 hide it I '11 fling it awa'- when we get to the shope!" "Oh, me the day! Wis there ever sic a wean!" sighed Mrs. M'Lerie, "though ma ain son John wis an unco mischeef in his time. . . . Are ye no' gaun to tell yer name?" she said aloud. "Naw." There was silence for several min- utes, at the end of which John, with an ingratiating grin, whispered: * ' Mistress. Here ! ' ' Bending down her head, Mrs. M'- Lerie replied, "Ay, dearie. Whit is it!" "I '11 tell ye ma name, an* the name o' the bunnet I 've on, an' an' I '11 tak' anither bunnet the same, if if-" "Weel, dearie?" "If ye '11 gi'e us yin o' yer birds." "Whit?" cried Mrs. M'Lerie so JOHN MUNRO M'CULLOCH 209 sharply that the other passengers looked at her. "Yin o' yer birds," calmly repeated the boy. "I wud like the big rid yin. Eh? Are ye on?" "Yin o' ma birds," she murmured, half dazed. Recovering herself at last, she said : "Na, na. I cud never dae that." "Whit wey? Ye 've got plenty." But Mrs. M'Lerie only shook her head. "Aweel, I '11 no' tell ye onythin'," he said, and remained dumb for the rest of the car journey. Arrived in Argyle Street, they walked some little distance eastward, and then they halted, Mrs. M'Lerie peering up at the sign-board of a large juvenile outfitting establishment. "Ay, this is the shope Mistress Munro tell't me to try. Come awa', 14 210 MRS. M'LERIE dearie," she said, turning to look for her charge. He was standing beside her bare- headed. "Whaur 's yer bunnet?" she cried in dismay. "I '11 no ' tell ye, ' ' he retorted, osten- tatiously opening his jacket. ' ' Mercy me ! Whit am I to dae 1 ' ' "If ye want to keep the big rid yin, I '11 tak' the green yin wi' the toorie on its heid, ' ' he offered pleasantly. ' ' D ' ye mean ma birds I ' ' "Ay. The big rid yin 's the best, but " "Oh, but I cudna pairt wi' ony o' ma birds. . . . Come awa', like a guid laddie, an' we '11 gang inside the shope. Ye '11 get yer daith o' cauld, wantin' yer bunnet." But John was gazing toward the street, and suddenly he cried: "See, JOHN MUNRO M'CULLOCH 211 Mistress, see! There 's a man wi' birds!" "Birds? Ma birds!" gasped Mrs. M'Lerie, feeling by this time that all dreadful things were possible. "No' your birds," said John rudely. "Hear them cheepinM" It was a vendor of penny toys that had attracted the boy's attention, and he was now gazing at them with covetous eyes. And all at once hope flashed into Mrs. M'Lerie's soul. "Wud ye like yin o' thur?" she asked, pointing to the tray of gorgeously colored feathers. "Ay, fine!" "But wud ye tak' it instead o' yin o' ma birds?" John nodded, his eyes glistening. Within a minute a brilliant thing containing a hideous squeaker was in his hands. 212 MRS. M'LERIE "Noo," said his guardian, plucking up her spirits, "ye 're gaun to tell me " "Ma name 's John Munro M'Cul- loch, an' the bunnet's name 's a Glen- garry, ' ' he replied, producing the latter from under the back of his jacket. "Weel, I never! It bates a' hoo weans can think o' things!" sighed Mrs. M'Lerie. Then she started. "Mistress Munro!" she cried. "Ay, it 's jist me, Mistress M'Lerie. When I got hame, ma dochter had a f reen ' wi ' her wha had come in to speir efter her health an' ha'e a keek at the baby so I jist tuk the next caur, thinkin' I wud be pretty shair to meet up on ye in the shope. But whit wey are ye no' inside yet?" Mrs. M'Lerie glanced at the ab- sorbed face of the author of her trou- bles. To herself she said: "Aweel, JOHN MUNRO M'CULLOCH 213 it 's a ' yin, fur he 's but a wean ' ' ; and to her friend she said as lightly as she could, "Och, we wis jist ha'ein' a bit luk roon ' first. ' ' "Weel, " returned Mrs. Munro, "it 's maybe jist as weel ye didna gang in- side afore I cam', fur his mither had kin' o' changed her mind an' thocht he micht get a Kilmarnock, seein' he wis that set on it. ... Whit 's that ye Ve gotten, John?" she asked her grand- son. ' ' It 's a bird, Granny. It 's a brawer yin nor ony o' hers, is 't no'?" said John Munro M'Culloch, with, how- ever, quite a kindly glance towards Mrs. M'Lerie. XV MR. M'LERIE'S CONVALESCENCE I TELL ye, wumman, I 'm no' gaun to tak' it!" The old man waved away the glass which his wife had pa- tiently held out to him for nearly five minutes. "Aw, Rubbert, ye micht try an' tak' it," she pleaded; "it 's no' that ill to tak '. See ! I '11 taste it masel ', ' ' she went on, and took a sip of the nauseous- looking dose. "Come, dearie, an' try . an ' swallow it. ' ' "Awa' wi' 't! awa' wi' 't!" he cried crossly. "I Ve never tiched meddicine yet, an ' I 'm no ' gaun to begin noo ! ' ' * ' But it 's fur yer ain guid. It '11 mak ' ye better." 214 ME. M'LERIE'S CONVALESCENCE 215 "The sicht o' 't 's made me waur a 'readies. Pit it doon the jawbox an' be dune wi' 't! I wunner at ye, wum- man, fashin' me wi' yer nesty mixture feech! an' ma heid that bad." And Mr. M'Lerie lay back in his arm-chair by the kitchen fire, and groaned with exceeding bitterness. "But it '11 mak' yer heid better, Eub- bert," said his wife, gently, as she ad- justed the blanket which had slipped from his shoulders. "Noo, dinna let yersel ' get cauld. ' ' "Ye 're pitten me intil a perfect stew," he complained, trying to get rid of the blanket. "Ye maun keep warm. Ye ken the doctor said ye wis to bide in yer bed. I 'm shair I dinna ken whit he '11 say when he comes an ' sees ye up. ' ' "Ach! the doctor's a bletherin' buddy! Na, na, I 'm no' fur it," he 216 MRS. M'LERIE exclaimed, as she once more presented the physic. "But, Rubbert-" "I 'm tellin' ye I wudna taste it to please the King. ' ' "But ye micht tak' it to please me," said his wife, with a faint smile. "Ach, haud yer tongue, Sarah! I '11 be deid shin eneugh wi'oot ony drug- gist's pooshon." "Oh, Rubbert!" Mrs. M'Lerie sighed, and placed the glass on the mantelpiece. "Are ye feelin' ony easier?" she asked, after a dull period of silence. "Naw! I 'mfreezin'!" "Ye sud ha'e kep' the blanket aboot ye, ' ' she said, tucking it round his shoul- ders. "Is yer feet cauld?" "Ay." She quickly procured a shawl and wrapped it about his extremities. "I didna say I wantit to be roastit," MR. M'LERIE'S CONVALESCENCE 217 he grumbled, and kicked away the shawl. ' * Can I no ' get peace ! ' ' * * 'Deed, Rubbert, ' ' she replied sadly, "that 's jist whit I want to gi'e ye in- side as weel as ootside." She glanced at the glass on the mantelpiece, and then at him. "Ye 're tryin' to dae whit thon daft doctor tell't ye. Weeman '11 dae ony- thin' a doctor says. I 'm shair I never wantit a doctor in the hoose. ' ' "I I thocht it wis best fur ye to ha'e the doctor, Rubbert. An' Dr. M'Haf- fie 's a rale dacent man, an' a kind man f urbye. ' ' 1 1 He 's a peely-wally auld wife ! Dod ! but I think whiles he tak's his ain med- dicine ! ' ' "Puir man! I doot he'll need it whiles, fur he tries to dae mair work nor a man 's fit fur. ' ' "Weel, he gets peyed fur 't," mut- tered Mr. M'Lerie. 218 MRS. M'LERIE "He disna get peyed fur the hauf o' whit he dis," Mrs. M'Lerie rejoined quietly. "An' he 's aye gi'ein' awa' his money to puir folk. ' ' ' * Hmph ! " he ejaculated. * ' Ye wis aye silly aboot doctors, Sarah. It 's a mar- vel to me that yer bairns are a' leevin' the day, an' healthy an' happy furbye." 1 ' When ma bairns wis wi ' me they aye tuk their meddicine when they needit it, ' ' she returned, checking a sigh. ' * An ' I dinna mind their f ayther ever advisin ' them no' to tak' it. Eh, Rubbert?" A twinkle came in the old eyes, but went out almost immediately. "Aw ma heid!" he interrupted. "Is 't bad again?" she cried, anx- iously. "Ay, it 's bad an' nae wunner!" " D ' ye want to be quate f D ' ye want me no' to speak?" she asked. "Hmph!" "Weel, dearie, I '11 haud ma tongue. MR. M'LERIE'S CONVALESCENCE 219 But but wud ye no' try an' tak' it noo I ' ' she pleaded, taking the glass from the mantelpiece. "If ye pit that near me again," he roared, " I '11 fling it in the fire ! ' ' Then, with an angry grunt, he closed his eyes. She set the glass down once more, and drew the back of her toil-worn, wrinkled left hand, with its thin wedding-ring, across her eyes. "He 's said mair hard words to me thae twa-three days nor ever he said in fower-an '-forty years," she sighed to herself. "He wis aye a commandin' man, but never unjust never! It 's a sad job gettin' auld." She sat down opposite him, wiped and put on her spectacles, and made an ef- fort to resume the knitting of a thick gray sock. But the knitting was rather a failure. It was her first experience of her husband as an invalid. He had 220 MRS. M'LERIE reached threescore and ten with a clean bill of health always a masterful man, but never a querulous one. And then suddenly he had gone "out of sorts," and Mrs. M'Lerie, in alarm, and on her own responsibility, had called in the doctor, a proceeding which had greatly annoyed the invalid. "I 'm maybe no' weel, but I 'm no' wantin' to be waur, " he informed the man of physic to his face. "Ye can luk at ma tongue an' fin' ma pulse, an' play ony ither ootside jooglin' ye like, but I 'm fur nane o' yer bottles an' peells." After which he went into a tirade against all medical science, till his poor wife was fairly affronted and the doctor was nigh suffocating with suppressed laughter. "Is he rale bad, Doctor?" whispered Mrs. M' Lerie, trembling with apprehen- sion, as she saw the doctor to the door. MB. M'LERIE'S CONVALESCENCE 221 He smiled reassuringly upon her. "Oh, nothing serious, Mrs. M'Lerie. He '11 be all right in a day or two. But don't give him solid food till I see you again, and I '11 send along a bottle which you must persuade him to take. He 's not used to being an invalid, so I ex- pect you '11 have some trouble." And, having mentioned when he would return, Dr. M' Haifie hurried away. For a time she felt comforted, and bore the patient's ill-natured groans and observations with comparative equanim- ity; but her confidence in the doctor's verdict gradually failed, and now, after three days of tender, thankless nursing, she had only the prospect of the doctor's visit that night to restrain her from sinking into the depths of despair. She looked at the physic-bottle, scarcely touched and untasted, save by herself; she looked at her drowsing husband, and 222 MRS. M'LERIE tried to believe that he was really better than three days ago. And then she looked at the clock. ''Mercy me!" she exclaimed, half aloud. "It 's time fur his tapioca!" She went over to the fire, opened the oven door, and took out the pudding- dish. She had just completed setting the table for the evening meal, when Mr. M'Lerie opened his eyes, hardly as one who has been sound asleep, and asked the time. * ' Near sax o 'clock, Rubbert. Ha 'e ye had a nice bit nap?" He ignored the question, staring un- kindly at the table. "See hoo nice an' broon it 's got on the tap," said his wife, indicating the pudding. "Whit is it?" "Tapioca jist a bewtifu' dish o' tap- MR. M'LERIE'S CONVALESCENCE 223 ioca, dearie. I 'in shair I never got it to come as nice an' broon on the tap afore." 1 ' 1 'm no ' heedin ' whether it 's broon or green or rid or bew ay, or tartan on the tap; I 'm no' fur it. I 'm fair seeck o' yer sago an' tapioca trash! Awa' wi.' 't!" "But, Rubbert, it 's whit the doctor ordered. ' ' * ' I 'm no ' heedin ' ! I 'm fur nae mair o' yer yer hen's meat. Ay, that 's the woord fur 't hen's meat! . . . An' me starvin'," he added, with a groan. ' * Are ye hungry ? ' ' she asked, the least thing coldly. She could not immedi- ately wholly forgive the insult to her carefully prepared pudding. 1 ' Ay, I 'm hungry. ' ' "That 's a guid sign," she remarked more cheerfully. ' ' Is yer heid better ! ' ' "A wee thing easier," he admitted 224 MRS. M'LERIE grudgingly. "But I 'm wake fur want o' meat." 1 1 Weel, Rubbert, ye micht try the tap- ioca that I " "I didna say hen's meat. Can ye no* gi'e us a dacent bit toastit cheese, wumman t ' ' "Toastit cheese! Oh me, the day! The doctor wud tak' ma heid aff if I wis gi'ein' ye toastit cheese. Na, na, ye maun wait a wee afore ye get that." "It 's nane o' the doctor's business." "I doot it is. An' it 's ma business to get ye weel again. I 'm gled ye 're a wee thing better the nicht, but I 'm no' wantin' ye to ha 'e whit they ca' a col- lapse. ' ' "I askit fur toastit cheese no' fur a collapse. I ken what I can eat fine. ' ' "Och, Rubbert," pleaded Mrs. M'Le- rie, "ye ken it 's a' fur yer ain guid. MR. M'LERIE'S CONVALESCENCE 225 I dirma want to refuse ye onythin' that wud please ye, but ''Am I to get a bit toastit cheese?" His wife shook her head. "Come awa ', noo, an ' try the nice tapioca afore it gets cauld. Doctor M'Haffie '11 be here at hauf-past seeven, an ' we '11 speir at him when he thinks ye can get toastit cheese. Ye see, Rubbert, yer inside 's no ' ready fur it yet. ' ' "Ma inside 's ma ain, an' I ken best whit it 's ready fur," retorted the old man, sulkily. "I wud ha'e been better afore noo if it hadna been fur a' the hen's meat I 've ett. . . . Na, na; ye needna bring me that plate. I '11 no* tich it. ' ' He groaned and lay back as if to slumber. Mrs. M'Lerie, half distracted, made one more effort. "If ye wis takin' a wee taste tapioca an' an' an* the meddicine, ye micht be that muckle bet- 226 MRS. M'LERIE ter when the doctor comes that he wud let ye ha'e a bit toastit cheese some day shin. Eh, Rubbert?" But he paid no attention. "Sirs, the day!" she sighed to her- self. "Whit am I to dae wi' him? I 'm thinkin' he 's maybe a wee thing better the nicht, but he 's needin ' saf t nourish- ment, an' he '11 no' tak' it. ... Dearie me! An' he ca'ed ma bewtifu' tapioca hen's meat hen's meat! An' the doc- tor '11 be that vexed wi ' me fur no ' get- tin' him to tak' his meddicine. . . . Whit am I to dae wi' him?" It was only six o'clock, and an hour and a half, perhaps more, must pass ere the doctor would appear. She replaced the pudding in the oven, for she could not bring herself to eat alone. 1 ' Wad ye like a dish o ' tea, Rubbert ? ' ' she inquired softly. But there was no response. MR. M'LERIE'S CONVALESCENCE 227 ' 'I canna thole it ony longer," she thought. "I '11 awa ' oot an' see if I can get Doctor M'Haffie to come the noo, an' see whit 's to be dune. Rubbert '11 no' come to ony hairm his lanesome." She put on a shawl, and after a last look at the old man, set out for the doctor's house, which, fortunately, was in the next street. Doctor M* Haffie had just settled down to his tea, but he rose at once and accompanied the troubled old woman, talking cheerfully to her by the way. His visit lasted barely five minutes, and when Mrs. M' Lerie and he went to- gether to the stair-head, he was smiling broadly. "Is he really better?" she asked. "He 's nearly all right. A good con- stitution is better than much physic. ' ' Overjoyed, she asked another ques- tion, which caused the doctor such 228 MRS. M'LERIE merriment that he could hardly reply to it. On her return to the kitchen, Mr. M* Lerie sat up in his chair. ' ' I tell 't ye I wis better, Sarah ! Did he say I wis to get the toastit cheese?" "Na; no' the nicht, Rubbert. But he said ye cud get a wee chope if ye wis wantin' it." "A wee chope I H'm! Weel, that 's better nor hen 's meat, onywey. Ay, I '11 tak' a chope no' an awfu' wee yin, ye ken." Mrs. M' Lerie almost flew to the but- cher's, and less than half an hour later the chop was before her husband. "Dod, Sarah, but that 's guid!" he said, as he mopped up the gravy with a chunk of bread. It was not till he had finished that he noticed she had eaten nothing. "Ye maun ha'e yer supper, wum- MR. M'LERIE'S CONVALESCENCE 229 man," he said, looking genuinely dis- tressed. "I 'm gaun to ha'e the tapioca," she returned, going over to the oven. "Na, na!" he cried excitedly, "ye maun ha'e somethin' else. Ye '11 be ower hungry fur tapioca. Here, Sarah, here ! Never heed ' ' But Mrs. M'Lerie was gazing in amazement at the pudding-dish, which did not contain a vestige of tapioca. Her husband's face was fiery, and he looked like a child taken in a fault. "Aw, Sarah!" he murmured foolishly. But Sarah had dropped into a chair, and, with the dish in her lap, was rock- ing to and fro in a paroxysm of laugh- ter. "Aw, Sarah, I cudna I cudna help it," he stammered. "Ye ye J ve left me the m-meddicine, onywey," she cried, and laughed again. 230 MRS. M'LERIE But soon she saw that her partner of nearly half a century was shamefaced and miserable. She rose, put the dish aside, and brought down his pipe and tobacco from the mantelpiece. "Ye '11 be wantin' yer smoke noo, Rubbert. . . . I 'm rale gled ye 're bet- ter." Perhaps it was because of his failing sight that he took her hand along with the pipe and tobacco. UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY Los Angeles This book is DUE on the last date stamped below. Form L9-50m-ll,'50 (2554)444 UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL IIBBADV r, I III III! Hill II II 1 1 A 000501 102 PR 6003