UC-NRLF B 3 3EE 17T u P THB u SYLVESTER • '^ -BAGGEKWOOBi NEW HAY AT THE OLD MARKET AN OCCASIONAL DRAMA, 7^ IN ONE ACT. WRITTEN BY GEORGE jCOLMAN, (the younger,) , ON OPENING THE HAY-MARKET THEATRE, On the gth of June, 1795. LONDON: PRINTED FOR J. CAWTHORNE^ NO. 5, CATHERINR STREET, STRAND. i8oa. Price U. 6d. V A /, '% '^ \ \ '^: J^' G. SiDNKT, Printer, Northumberland-street, Strand. ADVERTISEMENT. It raay he necessary to inform the reader, who has not seen the following Sketch represented on the Stage, that the character of Apewell is meamt merely as a vehicle for Mr, Caulfield's Imitations. ^■ M626523 DRAMATIS PERSONS. MEN, , V. FUSTIAN, - * MR. SUETT, DAGGER WOOD, - MR. BANNISTER, JUN,, APEWELL, p - MR. CAULFIEJ-D, manager's servant, . MR. BLAND. BBOMPTER^ - , MR. WALDRON, CARPENTER • - MR. BENiSON. WOMEN. ' - MRS. BEEZOM^ - - MRS, HOPKINS. ]^OLLY BEEZOM, - MRS. GIBBS. SYLVESTER DAGGERWOOD; NEW HAY AT THE OLD MARKET. SCENE I. — An Antichamher in the Manager's House ; Fustian AT? cZ Daggervvood discovered. — • Fustian sitting in one chair, Daggerwood, asleep^ in another, (The Clock strikes Eleven.) FUSTIAN. Eight, nine, ten, eleven! — Zounds! Eleverf o'clock ; and here have I been vi^aiting ever since Nine, for an interview with the Manager. A Servant crosses the Stage. Harkye, young man ! Is your master visible yet }■ SERVANT. Sir! FUSTIAN. I say, can I see your master ? "^ SERVANT. He has two gentlemen with him at present, Sir I . . , \ ■ ' FUSTIAN. Aye — the old answer. Who is this asleep here, iij the corner ? SERVANT. 6 SYLVESTER DAGGERWOOi) ; OR, SERVANT. Oh! that, Sir, is a gentleman who wants to come out. FUSTIAN. Come out ! Then wake him, and open the door. Gad, the great difficulty, at this house, is to get in. SERVANT. Ha, Ha ; I mean he wants to appear on the Stage, Sir. 'Tis Mr. Sylvester Daggerwood, of the Dunstable Cpmpany. FUSTIAN. O, ho ! A country candidate for a London trun- cheon. A sucking Prince of Denmark — Damme^ he snores like a Tinker. Fatigued with his jour- ney, I suppose. SERVANT. No, Sir — he has taken a nap in this room these five mornings — but hasn't been able to obtain an audience, here, yet. FUSTIAN. Nq, nor at Dunstable neither, I take it. SERVANT. I am so loth to disturb him, poor gentleman, that I never wake him till a full half hour after my master is gone out. FUSTIAN. Upon my soul that's very obliging! I must keep watch here, I find, like a Lynx. Well, friend, you 11 let your master know Mr. Fustian- ■ •• •■ •■ is JNEW HAY AT THE OLD MARKET. 7 is here; when the two gentlemen have left him at leisure. SERVANT. The moment, Sir, they make their Exit. \_Exit Servant* FUSTIAN. Make their Exit ! This fellow must have lived here some time, by his language: and, Til warrant him, lies by rote, like a Parrot. (Sits down and pulls out a manuscript) If I could but nail this Manager for a minute, I'd read him such a Tra- gedy! PAGGERWDOD. (dreaming) ^^ Nay, an thou'lt mouth. Ill rant as well as thee." FUSTIAN. Eh? Damme, he's talking in his sleep ! acting Hamlet before twelve tallow candies in the coiia* try. DAGGERWOOU. "^ To be, or not to be*' — ;^ ■.,. :„■ /> / ;." .: 'SUSTAIN* Yes — he*s at it. — Let me see, (turning over the ' leaves of his Play) I think there's no doubt of its running. ;^Vxt'i^')>AGGERW00D. (dreaming) : '* That is the question. "— *' Who would fardles -■■{,,,,,■■ . bear;' \':'— ' FUSTIAN. Zounds ! There's no bearing you ! — His Grace's patronage will fill half the side Boxes — and III warrant we U stuff the critieks into the Pit. BAGGER* Q SYLVESTER DAGGERWOOD ; OR, DAGCERWOOD. (dreaming) *^ To groan, and sweat" — ^^ When he himself might his Quietus make'' — FUSTIAN. Quietus ! I wish, with all my heart, I could make your's. The Countess of Crambo insists on the best places for the first night of performance. ^ She'll sit in the Stage Box. DAGGERWOOD. (still dreaming) " With a bare bodkin.'' FUSTIAN. O, the devil ! There's no enduring this ! Sir ! Sir ! (waking him) Do you intend to sleep any more ? « D A G G ERWOOD . (waUng) ' '^ Eh! What?— When?' " Methought I heard a voice cry sleep no more." PUSTIAtf. Faith, Sir, you heard something very like it ; and that voice was mine. DAGGERWOOD. Sir, Vm your most respectful servant to com- mand, Sylvester Daggerwood— whose benefit is fixed for the eleventh of June, by particular de- sire of several persons of distinction. You'd make an excellent Macbeth, Sir. FUSTIAN. Sir! DAGGER- NEW HAY AT THE OLD MARKET. 9 DAGGER WOOD. , ** Macbeth doth murder sleep ; the innocent sleep ;'' ' ** Balm of hurt minds; great nature's second course."-^ » • faith and very often the first course, too ; when a dinner is unavoidably deferred, by your humble ser- vant to command, Sylvester Daggerwpod. - ' FUSTIAX. I am sorry, Sir, you should ever have occasion to ^ postpone so pleasant a performance. > - DAGGER WOOD. Eating, Sir, is a most popular entertainment. ' " An entertainment for man and horse, as I may say. But I am apt to appear nice, Sir — and, some haw or Qther, I never could manage to sit down to dhi- ^ fier in a bad Company. FUSTIAN. • Has your company been bad, then, of late. Sir ? DAGGERWPOD. Damn d bad indeed. Sir— The Dunstable Com- pany : — where I have eight shillings a week, four bits of candle, one wife, three shirts, and nine children. /./ ' , FUSTIAN. ' ' ^ .. A very numerous family, DAGGERWOOD, A crowded house, to be sure, Sir ; but not pro- fitable. Mrs. Daggerwood a fine figure, but un fortunately stutters ; so, of no use in the theatrical line. Children too young to make a debut — except n>y 10 SYLVESTER DAGGERWOOD ; OR, iny eldest, Master Apollo Daggerwood ; a youth of only eight years old ; who has twice made his appearance in Toni Thumb, to an overflowing and brilliant barn — house, I mean — with unbounded and universal applause. FUSTIAX. Have you been long upon the stage, Mr. Dag- gerwood ? DAGGERWOOD. . Fifteen years since I first smelt the lamp, Sir. My father was an eminent Button-Maker, at Birmingham ; and meant to marry me to Miss Molly MetrCj, daughter to the rich Director of the Coal- Works, at Wolverhampton : but I had a soul above buttons, and abhorred the idea of a mer- cenary marriage. I panted for a liberal profession - — so ran away from my father, and engaged with a travelling company of Comedians. In my travels, I had soon the happiness of forming a romantic attachment with the present Mrs. Daggerwood, wife to Sylvester Daggerwood, your humble ser- vant to command : whose benefit is fixed for the eleventh of June, by the particular desire of several persons of distinction. So you see. Sir, I havet 'd taste. FUSTIAN. Have you 1 Then sit down, and Pll read you my Tragedy. I am determined somebody shall hear it before I go out of the house^ (sits down) DAGGERWOOD* A Tragedy ! — Sir, 111 be ready for you in a rri(MTient. — Let me prepare for woe. {takes out a i:ery ragged pocket-handkerchief.) « This NEW HAY AT THE OLD MARKET. li - ' ' '' This handerkerchiefj -■■' '[^ Did an Egyptian to my mother give.'* , ., FUSTIAX. Faith, I should think so ;— and, to all appear- ance, one of the Norwood party. DAGGERWOOD. Now, Sir, your title ; and then for the Dram. Pers, . . .FUSTIAN. \ ' ■ ^ The title I think will strike. The fashion of Plays, you know, now, is to do away old preju- dices ; and to rescue certain characters from the illiberal odium with which custom has mark'd them. Thus we liave a generous Israelite, an amiable Cynick, and so on. Now, Sir, I call my play — The Humane Footpad. ^ ,^ ^ ^ DAGGJIRWOOD. , ■What! ^ -■-■''-^1'}-{'-^ ' ■ _ ^ ■ ■ ':' ■ ,.;:' ^'"'- ' ' ':: FUSTIAX. There's a Title for you ! Isn't it happy ?— eh ? How do you like my footpad ? DAGGERWOOD. ; ,vi :^ ' Humph ! — Why I think he'll strike — but then he ought to be properly execute4. , . . FUSTIAN. Oh, Sir, let me alone for that. An exception to a general rule is, now, the grand secret for dra- matic composition. Mine is a freebooter of be- nevolence, artd plunders with sentiment. DAGGER- 12 . SYLVESTER DAGGERWOOD; OR, DAGGERWOOD. There may be something in that : and for my part, I was always with Shakespeare. '^ Who steals my purse steals trash/' I never had any weighty reasons, yet, for think- Uig otherwise. Now, Sir, as we say, please to " leave your damnable faces and begin/' FUSTIAN. My damnable faces ! DAGGERWOOB. Come — ^' we'll to't like Prench fiiulconers.** FUSTIAN, (reading) . Scene first: a dark wood : night. DAGGERWOOD. A very awful beginning. FUSTIAN, (reading) The moon behind a cloud. DAGGERWOOD. That's new. An audience never saw a moon behind a cloud before. — But it will be devilish difficult to paint. ' ' < FUSTIAN. Don't interrupt. — Where was I? — Oh — behind a cloud. DAGGER5V00D. " The cloud capt towers, the gorgeous palaces — " FUSTIAI^* N]E\y HAY AT THE OLD MARKET. 13 FUSTIAN. Hey, the devil! what are you at ? DAGGERWOOD. Beg pardon: But that speech never comes into my head but it runs away with me. Pro- ceed. FUSTIAN. Enter (reading) DAGGERWOOD. " The solemn temples''— FUSTIAN. Nay then, I've done. DAGGERWOOD. So have I. I'm dumb. FUSTIAN. t Enter Egbert, musing, (reading) Daggerwood. f ' O, P? \/' "^. '" 'Fustian. Pshaw! what does that signify ? Daggerwood. Not much. " The great Globe itself— " FUSTIAN, (reading) Egbert musing. Clouded in night I come. — Dagger- T4 SYLVESTER DAGGERWOOD ; OR, DAGGERWOOD. (startiu;^ up) •• Thq cloud capt towers, the gorgeous palaces,** ' llie solemn temples,*' &c. &;c. &c. FUSTIAN, (gets up.) Damme, he's mad ! A bedlamite ! raves like I^ar, and foams out a folio of Shakespeare with- out drawing breath. I'm almost afraid to stay in ihe room with him. Enter servant. Oh, Fm glad you are come, friend ! Now I shall be deliver d. Your master would be glad to see me, I warrant. servant. My Master is just gone out. Sir, fustian. Gone out ! DAGGERWOOD. " O, day and night, but this is wondrous strange!'* fustian. What without seeing me— who have been waiting for him these three hours ! DAGGERWOOD. Thr^e hours ! Pugh 1 — I've slept, here, for five mornings in his old arm Chair. SERVANT. / lie ordered me to tell you. Gentlemen, he was particularly sorry — but he is obliged to hurry down NEW HAT AT THE OLD MARKET. 15 down to the Hay-Market. The Theatre opens this Evening — and Mr. Bannister, Jun. and Mr. Suett, are to meet him there, on ^particular business. FUSTIAN. They are? and what the devil, friend, have I to do with Mr. Bannister, Jun. ? Damn^Mr. Ban- nister, Jun. DAGGERWOOD. And damn Mr. Suett ; what the devil have I to do with Mr. Suett ? Now he has shirked us, 111 lay an even bet he is gone to neither of 'em. FUSTIAN Pretty treatment 1 pretty treatment truly ! to be kept here, half the morning, kicking my heels in a Manager's anti-room, shut up with a mad Dunstable actor. DAGGERWOOD. Mad ! Zounds, Sir, I'd have you to know, that ^* when the wind's southerly, I know a hawk from a hand- saw." FUSTIAN. Tell your master, friend, tell yuur master — but no matter. — He dont catch me here again that's all. Damme, I'll go home, turn my play into a pageant, put a triumphal procession at the end on't, and bring it out at one of the Wir^ter Theatres. [^Ejcit, DAGGERWOOD. (to the Servant) Young man, you know me. I shall come to the old arm chair again, to-morrow — but must go to l6 SYLVESTER DAGGERWOOD ; OR, to Dunstable the day after, for a week, to finish my engagement. Wish for an interview,— inclination to tread the London boards, and so on. You re- member my name — Mr. Sylvester Daggerv^^ood ; whose benefit is fix'd for the eleventh of June, by particular desire of several persons of distinction, . SERVANT. < I shall be sure to tell him, Sir. ^ DAGGERWOOD. '^ I find thee apt ; '' And duller wouldst thou be than the fat weed *• That rots itself at ease on Lethe's wharf, "^ Would'st thou not stir in this.'' — Open the street door. '' Go op ! I'll follow thee." [_Ea:it after Servant. SCENE II.— The inside of the. Theatre. Two women discovered sweeping the Stage, A pall and mop in the corner, \st,. Woman, Come bustle, child! Bustle, Molly Beezom, bustle ! We sha'n't have the stage ready against our gentlefolks come to rehearsal. 2d. There, mother, I ha' done. 1st. Have you? Well then, now, Molly, as we have a little leisure — fob ! how it tires a body to scrub down these dusty boards, after a long winter! — As we have a little leisure, Molly, I'll just give you a bit of advice. 2d. Do, mother;— for I be a fresh comer from the country. Yesterday was my first sweep- ing ]\E\V HAY AT THE OLD MARKET, 17 ing day, you do know. I cod, it be pure fun to, Ibe among these Actor-folks ' 1st. Hold your tongue, hussey ! Listen to me, I have swept the boards of a Winter, and Summer House, these eighteen years ; and am old enough to have some experience. 2d. That you be, mother.— Old enough in all conscience. ^ > 1 St. Take care, then, of these Actors. I had you up from the country, after begging this here place for you, with great intreaties and impre- cations ; so mind you bemean yourself Take care of these Actors, I say. Tis a ticklish sitivation for a young girl. Don't let them palaver you over. 2d. Palaver me 1 Law, mother, what's that ? 1st, Aye — there it, is now, to want experience. Why it's just as they serv'4 me, when I was such a green goose as yourself. 2d. Why, sure, there be no harm in 'em : — and they be main civil. One on 'em chuck'd me under the chin, as good natur'd,- and told me I was a pretty little Dusdemonyt 1st. Hussey, hussey! I must hear no more of these doings. You^ll be devoured. 2d. La, mother ! sure and sure, they wont eat me? 1st. Eat you ! There's no knowing what may happen, 2d. Ben't there indeed ! — Well, If I hant been told, in our village, that your Actor men be hungry enough to eat any thing ; and that the gentry sometimes throws oranges to 'em, from the two- shilling gallery, out o' compassion^ B l8t. Ha} 18 , SYLVESTER DAGGERWOOD; OR, 1st. Ha ! Ha ! — Lord help your simple head ! Oranges out of thegal ery ! — The tiling is possible here, to be sure ; but in the winter houses — ^vvhy/ child, they would never reach half way to the stage. 'Tis as much as they can do to see the actors, there.' But no matter for that : — take you care of yourself/ Molly — you are raw, child, and .unexperienced. I be uneasy enough about you, I can tell you that. 2d. Don't vou be in a fantigue, mother, about I. Ise warant me, when I ha been here a while Ise be as knowing as the best of 'em. 1st. Go up stairs, hussey, directly, and dust out the dressing rooms. 2d. I doesn't like to go up alone, mother: I beafeard. 1st. Afeard ! — Of what, you goose cap ? 2d. Why, at the top of the— the Flys be the name on't, I fancy — where all the clouds be — -j just at the landing place, there be a huge man — A Polly, I do think the carpenters call him^ — stufF'd out wi' straw : they ha' squatted him there to sit bolt upright : and, though he be dead, he looks so mortal frightful, I doesn't care to go a near him. 1st. Simpleton I it is the stuffed Apollo, in Midas. Why you aren't afraid of a straw figure, are you ? 2d. No — not in the country : but this be the ugliest scare-crow I ever put my eyes upon. I be timbersome at a dead actor, mother, tho' I doe'sn't much mind facing a live one. 1st. Come, come; take your broom, and fol- low me. 2d. Yes, I NEW HAY AT THE OLD MARKET, JQ id. Yes, mother — but, as we have a little bit of leisure, as you do say, ' there be one thing I wish to ax you to do for me. — But you wont be angry, now^ ? J St. Well, child, what is it ? 2d. Why, if you would but go down, undier this here stage— there be such mortal funny things — do, "nowj mother, just go down, and screw I up a trap. 1st. I'll trap you, you idle minx! I will. Fine doings, truly ! The girl will be ruined. Screw you up a trap, indeed ! 2d. La, mother, why not? Ise warrant me, now, if I was to ax the carpenter, he would jiot have any dejection. PROMPTER. (Behind the scenes.) . Any of the performers come yet ? CARPENTER. (Behind the scenes.) No, Sir. — It wants ten minutes of the time. 1st. Woman. There! Ill be hang'd if it isn*t Mr. Waldron, the Prompter, come to rehearsal. 2d. Prompter! Oh! that be the gentleman as reads in a book ; and do blow a little whistle, to call the actor-folks about un. 1st. Come, run Molly, run! Take up your pail, and be off. 2d. I be a coming, mother. (Takes up the pail.) Dear, now ! I shouitl like hugely to stay and see a bit o' their May-games. Dear, dear ! what pure sport it be to live among these here shew>folks ! '- ' [Exeunt women, i 2 Entet 20 SYLVESTER DAGGERWOOD ; OR, Enter Prompter and Carpenter. PROMPTER. It doesn't signify e talking, master Carpenter : — new scenes, and fly-flaps, when there's occasion, to be sure : — but no extravagance. CARPENTER. Extravagance !— Lord help you, Mr. Waldron ! We only want to keep pace a bit with our neigh- bours. Look at 'em in the winter. PROMPTER. Winter ! and. how are we to keep pace with them there, you ninny hammer ? They are too magnificent for us. They have a stud of Ele- phants at one house, and a stable full of Bulls at the other. We are too humble'to vie with our neighbours in giving the public any thing to see. ' CARPENTER. But you know they will expect some novelty, master Waldron. . " .' r. , ^ PROMPTER. Well, then, we'll give 'em something to Iiear : — that's a novelty, now, you know. But come, to business. What do you want ? CARPENTER. Why, I want a new moon. PROMPTER. What's become of the old one ? CARPENTER. NEW HAY AT THE OLD MARKET. 21 ;v,.-\^!::^., CARPENTER. ;^--f\".-7. Torn down. PROMPTER. I;' And pray, Sir^ how came the Moon to be down ? CARPENTER. The man that worked it, run his hand through it, last year, when he was snuffing the candle. He was discharged for negligence. PROMPTER. Then, we want a new man in the Moon. Let me make a memorandum. ( Takes out his book, and writes,) " Moon in decrease — new one want- ed.— Man in it."— Well ? CARPENTER. Five waves of the sea: — split all to pieces in the last dry weather. They must be made of deal. PROMPTER, (writing.) Memorandum — " The sea : —Deal."' What next ? ■' \[ CARPENTER. A scaffold for the Surrender of Calais. Mr. Bannister, jun. broke it down, the last time he was going to be hanged. PROMPTER, (ivrites.) ^ ', '^ New scaffold —Surrender of Calais.'' — Ah! but where shall we get such another Hangman ? — Poor fellow ! Poor Parsons ! The old cause of our mirth is, now, thp cause of our melancholy. — He Si^ SYLVESTER DAGGERWOOD 5 OR, He, who SO often made us forget our cares, may well claim a sigh to his memory. CARPENTER. He was one of the comicalcst fellows I ever see ! PROMPTER. Aye, and one of the honestest, master Carpen- ter. When an individual has combined private worth with public talent, he quits the bustling scene of life with two-fold applause, and we doubly deplore his exit. — But come, we have still some favourites among our hundred^ who are ambi- tious to please ; and whose continued exertions, we doubt not, will be honoured with the con- tinued patronage of our benefactors.- — Is there any thing more? . CARPENTER. Yes : — New ropes for' all the drop scenes. — There's great difficulty, at present, in drawing up the curtain. PROMPTER. That's true enough ; — for it ought to have been drawn up a month ago. Well, obviate the diffi- culty as soon as you can, and send in that item of your bill to the Winter Managers. CARPENTER. Besides this, there's a — PROMPTER. Why, zounds! you'll never have done! don't I tell you we must have no extravagance — nothing needless. What is it ? . - ' CARPENTER^ . NfiW HAY AT THE OLD MARKET. 23 CARPENTER. Why, it's a new chair for the Prompter. PROMPTER. Oh ! that aHers the case. Well, let it be hand- some; do you mind ? Stud it with brass-nails, and cover it with the best Morooc6 — and tell the Pro- pert)-woman to put a good soft velvet cushion in it^ dye hear? , • , ; ^ ; CARPENTER. IVe a nice bit of old hard cherry-tree, that would come cheaper — and suit you to a T, master Waldion. PROMPTER. Cherry-tree! Why, you villain, have you no mercy on my t>ones ? — 111 cherry-tree you, with a plague !-^ . Enter Apewell. APEWELL. (rSpeaking as entering.) Pooh, nonsense ! If the Manager isn't here, ril speak to the Prompter.-^Oh ! your servant, 'Mr. Waldron. 'Can I see the Manager r • v. [Edit Carpenter. PROMPTER. He is not yet come to the Theatre, Sir. But, if you have any business to communicate, perhaps I may answer the purpose. apewell. Well, then, we'll do the matter by deputy. My name's Apewell. I want to appear on the stage. PROMPTER. •^4 SYLVESTER DAGGEtlWOOD J 6Rj PROMPTER. Your application is too late, Sir ; our Company Js fulL Tliat's unlucky: — but, in case of illness, I may probably be of use as a substitute. PROMPTER. A substitute! — for whom, pray, Sir.'* APEWELL. Why, for any body. — Tragedy, Comedy, any Ihing. Nay, upon an emergency, I may even supply the place of a Prompter. PROMPTER. Ma! Ha! — You don't know what you under- take, young gentleman. The place of a Promp- ter requires some experience, APEWPXL. *^ True, gallant Raleigh !'* '' I carmot but surmise,'' ^' Your State some danger apprehends.*' PROMPTER. I begin to apprehend yoli are wag, Mr. Ape- \vell. APEWELL. Faith, if I am, Sir, however my waggery may i)e taken, I mean it to be perfectly harmless. There is no man without his peculiar manner — and, in studying the tones of others, I hope to improve NEW HAY AT THE OLD MARKET. 2j improve my own, without giving offence to much better Actors than nr, self. PROMPTER, That's handsomely said, however. Give me your hand : — you seem to have some fun and spirit about you ; and we may be bette|* acquainted. APEWELLi I hope we shall. Who knows, if I become one of the Company, but we mav have a bowl of pnnch together, at the Blue Posts ; — or take a whet in a walk over the fields to Bagnigge. — *' Fetch a walk this fine evening, Miss Dolly? — Eh, Miss Dolly ?" . . PROMPTER , You seem pretty conversant in the drama. Have you studied much ? APEWELL. A good deal. 11 1 give you a touch of blank verse, to begin with: " Let me speak, Sir, " (For Heaven now bids me) and the words I utter ' ' - ' *' Let none think flattery, for they'll find em «*■ truth. *^ This Royal inflmt, (Heaven still move about '' her) ^^ Though in her cradle, yet now promises " Upon this land a thousand, thousand bless- %( " mgs. Which time shall brin^ to ripeness," &c. ■ >' " PROMPTER. 26* SYLVESTER DAG GEE WOOD; OE^ PROlSiPTEH. Upon my word that was very well. Respect- ably delivered, and much in the manner of the origin aL APE WELL. Oh, Sir? if it was like the original, itrould not fail of being respectable.— Bat if you thir;k, from the specimen. T may be of service, iV^rs. Apewell and myself will be wiiling^to join yoii. , PROMPTER. / : Does Mrs. Apevvell perform principal charac- ters, Sir? APE WEIL, Why I can't say mugh for her acting ; but she's a devilish good wife. " Go thy wa s, Kate!' '^ The man i' th' world who shall report he has '^ A better wife, let him in naught be trusted, '^ For speaking false in that. 1 hou art alone, " (If thy rare qualities, sweet gentleness, "Thy meekness saint-like, wife-like govern- '' ment, " Obeying in commanding, and thy parts " Sovereign and pious else, could speak the ^^out) ^^ The Queen of earthly Queens. She's noble " born, ** And, like her true nobility, she has ^' Carried herself towards me." PROMPTER. You have Shakespeare at your finger-ends, Mn ApewelL APE WELL. NEW HAY AT THE OLD MARKET. 27 AFEWELL. Why yes — ^^ But I am talking here by words ^^ of mcuth, when I could say it ail in reading, as ^' I have it by heart in my describing book. Now *' I desire you'll hold your tongue, for if you talk^ '^ you'll put me out. —These gardens, which are ^' now the admiration of the lamed and curish," he. &c, PROMPTER. Bravo, young Gentleman. Well playxl in- deed. APEWELI/. *' Well play'd, Clifford! Good air and empha- *' sis ; and well suited to the trick of the scene.*'— r Shall I go on ? PROMPTER. Ohj by all: means. : ^ APE WELL. " He would do, now, if the practical part of *^ deceit were as easy at his age, as the discern- *' ment of it is at mine,'' &c. &c. — Upon my soul, though, this is very fatiguing ! PROMPTER. - 1 wi*h I had any refreshment to ofTer yoii. — But we are unprovided here, you know. • « APEWELL. *^ Come, you know there's a c^ke in the house. ^^ Odsflesh, Robin, Tm heartily glad to see you, *^ Bring us the lamb.'* < - PROMPTER. IS SYLVESTER DAGGERWOOD ; OR, PROMPTER. Egad, if you were at my lodpngs, you should have that, and a bott e bf wine > uo. APEWELL. •' Come I like that/'— But can you give me an engagement ? PROMPTER. I can t — but I shall mention your talents this morning to the Manager, and 1 make no doubt he will be ready to employ you. ' APEWELL. Come, you had better close with me yourself at once, while we are about it. PROMPTER. No, Sir, I daren't venture that. APEWELL. *' Lord, Sir, yoii are as queer as a quartern of '^ soap, after a week's wash. Your poor dear " father wouldn't have used me in this way. He '' used to like to hear me talk. Dicky Gossip, " says he — he always call'd me Dicky. Dicky *' Gossip, says he, you are my Barbatic — Barba- '* tic ! — Wasn't that droll. Sir ? — He used to call *' me his Barbatic !" Well I shall call in the evening to know the Manager s answer. You may tell him what I am fit for. PROMPTER. Faith you seem fit for any thing. But pray do you sing ? Apewell. S[EW HAY AT THE OLD MARKET. SQ A PEW ELL. I'll give you a specimen, and then leave you to think ont. ^' 'Tvvas on a Christmas day " Father ht did wed/' &c.&c PROMPTER. Faith, a young fel ow of talent. Ejiter Bannister, Jun. Ah, Bannister! bannlster. Waldron, how goes it ? well, here we are in the old little shop again ! Gad I feel like a giant, here, in LilLput, after the huge Brobdignag boards of old Drury. 'Where's our little Ma- nager ? PROMPTER. Not come yet. BANNISTER. He must stir his stumps, T can tell him that, now he has set up fo! himself. He gives a good round sum for the Property, they tell me. I hope he may be reimbursed. J n MM ., .iV PROMPTER. There he trusts to the town. BANNISTER He can't trust to any thing better. The pub- lic never fail to encourage industry, or to give . X ' ample so SYLVESTER DAGGERWOOD; OR, ariDple reward to those who embark with zeal In their service, and rely with confidence on their liberality. I shall be finely workM for it, though, through the summer, I take it, master Waldron. . PROMPTER. Well then, as you say, the public will encou- rage your industry. ' BANNISTER. Oh, faith, you need not tell me that: — I trust I have always been found to work willingly — and at present I have a double motive to activity, in serving the town, and assisting an old friend, who ventures largely for its amusemeiit. So here's defiance to heat, and a fig for the Dog-days, old Waldron ! Enter Call-boy, \ ^ CALL-BOY. - The Ladies and Gentlemen are all ready in the Green-Room, Sir. PROMPTER. " Then we'll attend them. Oh, Bannister, here's a song I am to give you. It's intended for our opening. BANNISTER. Let me see it, um — why zounds ! there must be some mistake, it seems meant for the winter — for it begins with an eulogy upon grand spectacles, spacious buildings, and large Theatres. PROMPTER. Well, well — hum it over before we go into the Green- Room. ban* NEW HAY- AT THE OLD MARKET. '31 - .' \ / ^'^ ' BANNISTEB. Eh ! — and here come some of our Chorus who may bear a burden. (Enter Chorus) Here goes then. SONG. „ Since the preference, we know. Is for pageantry and shew, • Twere a pity the public to balk — ' • ' ^ And when people appear ^ Quite unable to hear, 'Tis undoubtedly needless to talk. Let your Shakespeares and Jonsons go hang, go hang! Let your Otways and Drydens go drown ! Give us but Elephants', and white Bulls enough, And we'll take in all the town. Brave bovs ! V II. Or if, tardily, the sound - Travels all the house around, "" "Twixt the action and w^ords there's a breach : And it seems as if Pvlacbeth, Half a minute after death, On his back, made his last dymg speech. Let your Shakespeares, &g, Wheu 3!:^ Syi,VESTER DAGGERWO01>j &C, • iir. When on matters of State, Staj^^e Heroes debate, Intelligence so slowly is got, 'Twere better they began On the new-invented plan, And with Telegraphs transmitted you the plot. ^ . Let your Shakespeares, &c, •'■ ■ "' iv. But our House here's so small * That there's no need to bawl. And the summer will rapidl) pass ; So we hope you'll think fit To hear the Actors a bit, 'Till the Elephants and Bulls come from grass. Then let Shakespeare and Jonson go hang, go hang! Let your Otways and Drydens go drown ! Give em but Elephants and white Bulls enough. And they'll take in all the town^ — Brave Boys ! G. Sidney, Printer, Konhumbcrland Street, Strand, 14 DAY USE RETURN TO DESK FROM WHICH BORROWED LOAN DEPT. This book is due on the last date stamped below, or on the date to which renewed. Renewed books are subject to immediate recalL NOV 12 1965 8 4 I DEC 7 laeggq-P NUV29"6!j uoaM utn i-P* i;: LD 2lA-60m-3,'65 t'i (P2336sl0)476B General Library University of California Berkeley