Bridges (R.) Feast of Bacchus, 4to, half vellum, £3 i6s Daniel Press, Oxford, 1889 
 
 125 Bridges (Robert) The Feast of BacchusJ) 
 the rare Privately Printed Edition, cr. 4to, 
 orig. half vellum^ uncut, £3 3s 
 
 Oxford, Daniel Press, 1889 
 Oiily 105 copies printed, this is No. 63, J 
 
2i/ 
 
 :>^ 
 
THE 
 
 FEAST 
 
 O F 
 
 BACCHVS 
 
 B Y 
 
 ROBERT BRIDGES 
 
 Trivately 
 
 PRINTED BY H. DANIEL I OXFORD *. 
 1889 
 
Digitized by the Internet Archive 
 
 in 2007 with funding from 
 
 IVIicrosoft Corporation 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/feastofbacchvsOObridrich 
 
Note — io<$ Copies printed: this is No, Q O, 
 
C5e JFeaft of VSutf^m* 
 
DRAMATIS PERSONjE. 
 
 MENEDEMVS 
 
 CHREMES 
 
 CLINIA 
 
 PAMPHILVS 
 
 PHILOLACHES 
 
 SOSTRATA 
 
 ANTIPHILA 
 
 GORGO 
 
 Afi Athenian gentleman* 
 
 A retired Ionian j^ongemer chant. 
 
 Son to Menedemus* 
 
 Son to Chremes, 
 
 An aBor^ friend to Pamphllm. 
 
 Wife to Chremes. 
 
 Daughter of Chremes^ beloved of Clinla* 
 
 Beloved of Pamphllus. 
 
 The fcene is In a fuhurb of Athens^ oppojite the houfe of Chremes 
 (l). On the other fide is Menedemm^ garden (r) ,• this occupies mo ft 
 of the back of the Hage ; a gate fom the garden gives on the Hage. 
 Betiaeen the garden 'a' Chremes* houfe a road to the city. 
 
 Duration of time — nearly the fame as In aEilng, 
 
JCUE ^EAST OF igACCHVS 
 
 ^B the FirB, 
 
 Menedemvs feen at ivork in his garden. ChREMES calling 
 to him over the hedge, 
 
 Chremes 
 
 GOOD morning fir ! good morning! [cfide'] He does "not hear 
 me. — Sir ! 
 Good morning ! [afide~\ No : he goes on digging away for 
 his life. — 
 Ho! Menedemus! Ho! 
 Men. Who is it calls ? 
 
 Chr, 'Tis I. 
 
 Men. Chremes ! why, what's the matter ? 
 Chr. I only faid good morning. 
 
 I wifh you the compliments of the day. 'Tis the feaft of Bacchus. 
 Men* I thank you. The fame to you. 
 
 Chr, I had fomething to fay befide. 
 
 If you arc at leifure. 
 Men, Now ? 
 
^ THE FEAST 
 
 Chr. Yes, now. ^ 
 
 Men. You fee I am bufy : 
 
 But if 'tis a matter of any importance — 
 
 Chr, Indeed it is. 
 
 Men, Vt2l^ ftep to the gate. FU open it for you. 
 
 Chr. You are very good, 
 
 \afide'] How fagged he looks. 
 
 Men. [at gate.'] Come in. You will not think me rude, 
 
 If I afk you to tell your errand while I dig. 
 
 Chr. Excufe me, 
 
 My good friend, and your fpade, pray you, awhile put down. 
 
 You muft flop working. 
 
 Men. No : I cannot reft a minute. 
 
 Chr. I cant allow it indeed. [taking the ^ade.'] 
 
 Men. Now, fir, you wrong me. 
 
 Chr. Hey ! 
 
 My word ! what a weight it is. 
 
 Men. It's not too heavy for me. 
 
 Chr. Come ! what's all this ? well take it again, but dont refufe me 
 
 A moment's attention. 
 
 Men. Well! 
 
 Chr. 'Tis a matter concerns you nearly : 
 
 So leave your work, and come outfide, and fit on the bench. 
 
 Where we may talk. 
 
 Men. Whatever you have to fay, Chrenies, 
 
 May be faid here. 
 
OF B A C CHV S 
 
 tifr. No doubt, but better as I propofe : 
 
 I will not detain you long. 
 
 Men. What is it ? 
 
 C^r. Sit you down. 
 
 Men. You have fomething to fay. 
 
 C^fi. Not while you ftand. 
 
 Men, I fit ting] Well, as you wilK 
 
 And now in as tew words as may be. — I am at your fervice. — 
 
 JExplain. 
 
 C^r, Menedemus, although our acquaintance has been but fhortj 
 
 And only dates from the day you bought this piece of land. 
 
 And came to live clofe by me : for little or nought but that 
 
 Occafioned it, as you know : yet my refpedt for you. 
 
 Or elfe your being a neighbour, — for that itfelf, I take it. 
 
 Counts in fome fort as friendfhip, — makes me bold and free 
 
 To give you a piece of advice : the fad is, you feem to me 
 
 To be working here in a manner, which both to your time of life 
 
 And ftation, is moft unfuitable. What, in Heaven's name, 
 
 Can be your objedt ? what do you drive at ? To guefs your age 
 
 You are fixty years at leaft. There's no one hereabouts 
 
 Can fhew a better farm, nor more fervants upon it : 
 
 And yet you do the work yourfelf, as though you had none* 
 
 Never do I go out, however early in the morning, 
 
 Never come home again, however late at night. 
 
 But here I fee you digging, hoeing, or at all events 
 
 Toiling at fomething or other. You are never a moment idlcj 
 
 A s 
 
4 THE ¥ IS. AST 
 
 Nor iliew regard for yourfelf. Now all this cant be done 
 
 For pleafure, that I am fure of, and as for any profit. 
 
 Why if you only applied half the energy 
 
 To ftirring up your fervants, both you and your farm 
 
 Would do much better. 
 
 Men. Have you fo much fpare time then, Chremes, 
 
 Left from your own affairs to meddle with other people's ? 
 
 The which moreover do not concern you. 
 
 Chr. I am a man. 
 
 Nought which concerns mankind concerns not me, I think. 
 
 Ere I advife, I'd firft enquire what 'tis you do ; 
 
 If well, to learn by example • if ill, then to difTuade. 
 
 Men, My duty is this : do you as beft may fuit yourfelf. 
 
 Chr, What man can fay 'tis right for him to torment himfelf ? 
 
 Men, I can. 
 
 Chr. If it is any forrow or trouble that has driven you to this, 
 
 I am very forry. But. ..what is it ? Tell me, I pray. 
 
 Whatever can you have done, that calls for fuch a penance ? 
 
 Men. Ay me ! 
 
 Chr. Come, dont give way : confide to me this afiPair. 
 
 Truft me : keep nothing back, I entreat you : have no fear. 
 
 Surely I may either help, or advife, or at leaft confole you. 
 
 Men. You really wiih to know ? 
 
 Chr. Yes^ for the rcafon Lgavc : 
 
 Men, I'll tell you. 
 
 Chr. What is it ? 
 
OFB^CCHFS J 
 
 Men, I have an only fon, Chremes — 
 
 Alas what fay I ? have ? had I fhould rather fay • 
 
 For whether now I have or not, I cannot telL 
 
 CJ^r, How fo ? 
 
 Men, You fliall hear : attend. There came to live in the city 
 
 A poor old widow woman from Corinth. She had a daughter, 
 
 With whom my fon, who is juit of age, fell madly in love, 
 
 Was even at the point to marry : and all without my knowledge. 
 
 However it came to my ears , and then I began to treat him 
 
 Vnkindly, and not in the way to deal with a love-fick lad, 
 
 But after the ufual dictatorial manner of fathers. 
 
 I never left him in peace. Dont think^ my fine fellovj^ 
 
 I'd fay, that you'll be alloived to continue behaving thuSy 
 
 While I am alive to prevent it ; running after a girl 
 
 jind talking of marrying too : you are very much mifiaken^ 
 
 Cliniay if you think that, Tou dont knovj me. 1 am glad 
 
 To have you called my fon ^ vjhile you refj^eSi your honour ; 
 
 But if you once forget ity I /hall find a means ^ 
 
 And one you vjill not like^ of ajferting my own. All this 
 
 1 fee very plainly ^ I faid, has come from idle habits, 
 
 Tou have not enough to do. When I luas your age 
 
 I did not fitter away my time in making love ,• 
 
 "But finding my pockets empty ^ fet out for Afia^ 
 
 And ixion myfelf diftinSiion & fortune in foreign fervice. 
 
 At laft, Chremes, it came to this : the poor young fellow, 
 
 Continually hearing the fame thing put fo ftrongly to him. 
 
6 THE FEAST 
 
 Gave in : he thouglit my age and due regard for his welfare 
 
 Were likely to fhew him a wifer and a more prudent courfe 
 
 Than his own feelings ; — he left the country, and went to fight 
 
 Vnder the king of Perfia. 
 
 Chr. Indeed ? 
 
 Men. He ftarted ofF 
 
 One day without a word. He has now been gone fix months. 
 
 Chr, Both were to blame, however I think the ftep that he took 
 
 Was the adt of a modeft and not unmanly difpofition. 
 
 Men» I enquired of fome of his friends, and when I learnt the truth^ 
 
 I returned home to my houfe miferable, my mind 
 
 Vnhinged — diftrafted with grief. I fat me down • my fervants 
 
 Came running to know my pleafure j fome drew off my ftioes. 
 
 Others were haftening to & fro to prepare my dinner. 
 
 Each anxious by doing his beft to lefTen the pain 
 
 Of my great misfortune : in vain : the fight of them made me think, 
 
 * What ! is it then for me alone that all thefe perfons 
 
 So bufily are engaged ? all for my comfort ? 
 
 For me is it that fo many women are fpinning ? for me 
 
 This great houfehold expenfe and luxury are maintained ? 
 
 And my only fon, who in all fhould equally fhare with me — 
 
 Nay Ihould have the larger fhare, fince at his age he is able 
 
 Better to ufe fuch things and enjoy them, — him, poor boy, 
 
 I have driven out of the houfe by my unkindnefs. No, 
 
 I had rather die than do it. While he leads a life 
 
 Of poverty and of hardfhip, exiled from home and country 
 
OPBACCHP'S 7 
 
 By my fevere treatment, fo long will I vifit 
 
 His punifhment on myfelf, labouring, fafting, faving. 
 
 Serving and flaving for him. * I began there and then • 
 
 I ftripped the houfe for a fale, left nothing in it, not a difli 
 
 To eat ofF, not a coat to put on. I collected everything : 
 
 And as for the men and maids, excepting fuch as were able 
 
 To work the coft of their living out on my fields, I fent them 
 
 To market and fold them ; I put up a notice, T/?fs houfe to let j 
 
 And fetting the price of all, fome fifty talents, together, 
 
 I bought this farm, and am well convinced at heart, Chremes, 
 
 That in making myfelf miferable I adt more juftly 
 
 Towards him, my abfent ion ; and that 'twere crime to indulge 
 
 In any comfort, till he return home fafe again 
 
 To (hare it with me, 
 
 Chr, I fee that you are a kind father j 
 
 And he, I think, had been a dutiful fon, if treated 
 
 With moderation and judgement : but look, you did not know 
 
 Each other well enough : a common fault to obferve 
 
 In family life, and one deftru<!iive of happinefs. 
 
 You never let him perceive how dear he was to you. 
 
 So he dared not confide in you, when it was his duty : 
 
 To have done the one or other had fpared you this misfortune. 
 
 Men. 'Tis as you fay, I admit ; but I was the more to blame, 
 
 Chr. True. And to lofe a child is deplorable. I had myfelf 
 
 The fame misfortune without my fault. A daughter it was. 
 
 Stolen from me I know not how : my fecond child, a babe, 
 
8 THE FEAST 
 
 That's fifteen years ago. I was living at Ephefus, 
 Where fuch events are regarded as commonifli accidents. 
 I know not where flie was taken, have never heard of her fince ; 
 And though I have not forgot it, my own experience is. 
 One does entirely get over the fort of thing — I afllire you. 
 Men. 'Tis kind of you thus to recall your forrow to comfort mine. 
 My condolence can make a diftindion : the child you loll 
 Was a daughter, a babe, you fay. Clinia was my only fon. 
 Grown up. Befides you admit you were not at all to blame. 
 I brought this on myfelf. See, friend, the difFerenee ! 
 Chr, However I fee no reafon yet to defpair, Menedemus. 
 You will have him fafe at home again, and foon, I am fure. 
 Men. The gods grant it. 
 
 Chr. They will. And now, 'tis the feaft of Bacchus; 
 
 We keep a birthday too. I hope, if it is agreeable. 
 That you will come and dine at my houfe. 
 Men, I cant. 
 
 C^r. Why not ? 
 
 Do pray now, after all you have done, allow yourfelf 
 This little relaxation. Think your abfent fon 
 Is afking you through me. 
 Men. It is not right that I, 
 
 Who have driven him into hardfliips, (hould fpcnd my time in 
 
 pleafures. 
 Chr. You will not change your mind ? 
 Men, No. 
 
OFB^CCHVS 9 
 
 thr. Then FU fay goodbye. 
 
 Men. Goodbye. [_Exlt. 
 
 Chr. A tear, I do believe ; I am forry for him. 
 
 'Tis lamentable to fee goodnefs puniflied thus 
 
 For lack of a little wifdom. Folly brings remorfe, 
 
 And again remorfe folly : they tread the circle • and he 
 
 Would mend one fault by another, and on himfelf revenge 
 
 The wrong he has done his fon. And that wrong too was not 
 
 A real unkindncfs : no : mere want of common fenfe • 
 
 It's what I am always faying, — that is evil. To quote 
 
 From the very profoundeft of authors, my favourite Sophocles, 
 
 JVifdom is far aiuay the chief eft of happinefs. 
 
 Of courfe a man may be happy, although he has loft his fon, 
 
 If it cannot be charged to his fault. In fpite of the beft intentions 
 
 Menedemus is much to blame. Poor fellow, but I may aflfift him ^ 
 
 And if I can, I will. I love to help a neighbour- 
 
 'Tis pleafure as well as duty : becaufe it is a pleafure 
 
 To be wifer than others, and even a friend's predicament 
 
 increafes the fatisfadtion I feel, when I think how well 
 
 My own houfehold is managed. But ftay, 'tis time I went 
 
 To fee that all's in order for the feaft we hold to-night. 
 
 There are one or two old friends, who'd take it much amifs 
 
 Did 1 not afk them. Now at once I'll go and hnd them. [Exit 
 
 Enter Famphilm & Clint a 
 Fam, That queer old boy's my father : didnt you know him ? 
 
lo THE FEAST 
 
 Clin. No. 
 
 How fliould I ? but his name I know — Chremes. 
 
 Fam, - You have it. 
 
 Take care he hear not your name. 
 
 Clin. Why fo, Pamphilus ? 
 
 What can he know of me ? and if he knew... 
 
 Tarn. See, Clinia, 
 
 That is our houfe, and here the hedge and paling bounds 
 
 Your father's, 
 
 Clin, Here ? ^ 
 
 Pam. You fee what a ftroke of luck it was 
 
 To meet me when you did. You muft have betrayed yourfelf 
 
 By making enquiries ; but I at the mereft hint have led you 
 
 Straight to the place : befides, if you wifli to be near your father 
 
 Without his knowing that you are returned, my governor 
 
 Can put you up. 
 
 Clin. Is't here ? 
 
 Fam. Yes, there. 
 
 Clin. For heaven's fake 
 
 Be careful ; may he not fee me ? 
 
 Fam. If he looked over the myrtles 
 
 No doubt he might. 
 
 Clin. Hulh ! hull J ! come back. 
 
 Fam. No fear : we're fafe. 
 
 He's not this fide : ftay here : I'll go and fpy around. 
 
 Keep out of fight. 
 
OFBACCHVS II 
 
 Clin. Stay, Pamphilus ; are you really fure 
 
 This is my father's ? 
 
 Fam. This is the place they told me, and here 
 
 A Menedemus lives, and has for the laft fix months. 
 
 We're right enough. 
 
 Clin, I fear he'll fee us \ pray come back. 
 
 Pam, I thought you wiflied to fee him. 
 
 Clin. Ay, and fo I do ; 
 
 But nothing lefs in the world, if it fhould be the occafion 
 
 Of his feeing me. 
 
 Fam. Truft me : he wont. I'll fpeer about. 
 
 He's fure to be digging fomewhere near. 
 
 Clin. Digging ? 
 
 Fam. If not, 
 
 It is not old Menedemus. \_goes around peering.~\ 
 
 Clin. O what can it mean, 
 
 My father's fudden change of home and manner of life ? 
 
 He that fo loved the town : himfelf the very centre 
 
 Of all good company, the beft invited man. 
 
 And moft befought in Athens. Nothing but great difguft 
 
 Could thus have turned his temper. I am the caufe : and one 
 
 Of two things it muft be ; either he is more offended with me 
 
 Than I fuppofed • or elfe, and this I hope & think, 
 
 My flight, breaking the bond that furely was the neareft 
 
 And deareft to him, hath wrought upon him, and now he turns 
 
 And will confent : if that, 'tis well I am here : if not, 
 
 B a 
 
Si THE FEAST 
 
 He muft not come to know I am back in Athens : nay, 
 
 'Twould only vex him more : I muft hide from him ftill : 
 
 For though there is nothing in the extremeft fcope of duty 
 
 In which I would not obey him but one thing, 'tis this tiling 
 
 I am pledged to. Love abfolves me. Nay, 'tis not for him 
 
 I am now returned. I have chofen • I am not ailiamed : 1 made 
 
 One dutiful effort — oh intolerable ! 1 am come, 
 
 Sweeteft Antiphila, to marry thee^ and I will marry thee ; 
 
 Without confent, if muft be, againft my father's will : — 
 
 Yet now I have hope ; and whether rightly or wrongly I hope 
 
 I muft djfcover. 
 
 [Famphilus returns to Clint a J] 
 Vam, It's very fiinny : he's not to be feen. 
 
 Clin. What fhall I do ? 
 
 Vam, To-day's my birthday, Clinia : 
 
 We have afked fome friends to come : if you will be my gueft. 
 Our houfe is very handy. No one fhall hear your name. 
 My father will not fufped you. 
 
 Clin, I thank you. There's no need. 
 
 Vam, I'll call you Clitipho. 
 
 Clin, No, no, I am ill difpofed 
 
 For company. Pray excufe me. Befides 1 am fure your father 
 Muft be acquainted with mine. 
 
 Vam, I doubt it. He often fays 
 
 He wonders who in the world his eccentric neighbour is. 
 But whether he knows or not we'll foon find out. For look. 
 
OF B A C C HV S XI 
 
 He is coming down the road. Stand back where you can hear • 
 And if he has any knowledge that can be of ufe to you, 
 ril worm it out. 
 
 Enter Chremes, 
 
 Chr, What are you doing, Pamphilus, 
 
 Looking over the hedge into our neighbour's garden > 
 
 Do you not know how vulgar curiofity is ? 
 
 Spying and prying thus into other folks' affairs. 
 
 1 am quite afliamed of you, fir ! 
 
 Pam, I was only looking to fee 
 
 If I could catch a glimpfe of old Menedemus, father. 
 
 I've found out fomething about him. 
 
 Chr, £h ! and what is that ? 
 
 Pam, Have you ever heard of Clinia ? 
 
 Chr, Clinia, Clinia ? Yes — 
 
 Of courfe, why he's Menedemus' fon, who is now in Perfia. 
 
 I know about him. 
 
 Tarn. Well, he's an old fchoolfriend of mine. 
 
 Chr, Is he ? 
 
 Pam, You know when firft I came to fchool at Athens, 
 
 He was kind to me, and afterwards, when we all came here to live, 
 
 I met him again. I never dreamed that 'twas his father. 
 
 Who took this place next door. I ufed to hear he was quite 
 
 A different fort of perfon. 
 
 Chr, Ay, no doubt he was. 
 
 The trouble his fon has brought upon him has broke him down. 
 
t^ THE FEAST 
 
 Fam. Why, Clinia had no debts. 
 
 Chr» Perhaps he had no debts : 
 
 But I could tell you more about him than you imagine, 
 I have never been able to take any pleafure, Pamphilus, 
 In any one of your friendfliips ; and now I am grieved to find 
 You are intimate with this foolifh, diflblute young man. 
 Evil communications corrupt good manners. 
 Fam. Clinia is not that fort at all. 
 Chr. You do not know. 
 
 Fam. I know he fell in love with a girl that lives in the town. 
 And wanted to marry her, only his father would not hear of it, 
 And fent him oflF to Afia, and now — 
 Chr. He ran away. 
 
 Fam, And if he did, no wonder, confidering his father's treatments 
 Chr. He (hould not have done fo. 
 
 Fam. I take it his father's forry now. 
 
 Chr. Of courfe all piarents are always forry for their fons' mis- 
 conduct. 
 Fam. But he has far more caufe to be forry now for his own* 
 Chr. You think fo } 
 Fam. Yes, I do. 
 
 Chr. [_afide'] I muft not let my fon 
 
 Know how this old man dotes. If he fhould think all fathers 
 As foft as poor Menedemus, pretty pranks he'd play me ! 
 Fam, What were you faying ? 
 Chr^ Ha ! I'll tell you what I was faying ^ 
 
OFBACCHVS I<r 
 
 That in any cafe his duty was to have ftayed at home. 
 
 'Tis poflible that his father was fomewhat more fevere 
 
 Than he found pleafant • but ftill he fhould have put up with it. 
 
 For whom fhould a lad fubmit to, if not to his own father ? 
 
 Ought his father, tell me, to have fallen in with him, 
 
 Or he with his father ? And then what he is pleafed to call 
 
 A hardfliip, was nothing of the kind : the fo-called feverities 
 
 Of fathers are much of a piece : the leaft ftridt do not like 
 
 To fee their fons continually in bad company. 
 
 Continually drinking : & fo they are fparing in what they allow them j 
 
 For fuch reftridiions, remember, promote good morals. 
 
 But when a man's mind has once become the flave 
 
 Of evil paflions, he is driven of neceflity from bad to worfe. 
 
 There's wifdom, Pamphilus, in the faying. By others' faults 
 
 Wife men corre£i their oivn, 
 
 Vam. I think fo too. 
 
 Chr, Very well. 
 
 Then I need fay no more. 
 
 'Pam, Would not the ol4 man, fir, 
 
 Be glad to fee him back ? 
 
 Chr. He would be glad to fee him 
 
 Return from his evil ways to a dutiful courfe of condudt. 
 
 Vam, I guefs he'd let him marry the girl. 
 
 Chr, [aftde'] What fhall I fay ? 
 
 Fam, He would. 
 
 Chr. Nay Pamphilus : attend to me. No father 
 
l6 THE FEAST 
 
 Would ever give in to his foil in a matter of this kind. 
 
 Learn this lefTon : fee what fliame your friend has brought 
 
 On his poor old father. No, ^twould never do to yield. 
 
 1 can promife you too that he will not. I fhould not advife it myfelf. 
 
 Fam. You dont know Clinia, fir • and have never feen the girl. 
 
 You go entirely by what this old Menedemus fays. 
 
 He never faw her himfelf. 
 
 Chr. [afide] That's true. — And you have feen her } 
 
 Fam. I have. 
 
 Chr, And what is (lie like ? 
 
 Fam, I never faw anything like her. 
 
 Chr. Come, what d'ye mean ? 
 
 Fam. I tell you, 1 know now what file's like — 
 
 The ftatue that ftands in the hall : the third on the left. 
 
 Chr. The Grace } 
 
 An elegant tafte. 
 
 Fam, If you were to fee her, you'd fay the fame. 
 
 Chr, Should I ? Then juft attend. I wifli to help my neighbour. 
 
 If all were ready to lend their neighbours a helping hand. 
 
 We fliould not hear the complaints we do againft ill fortune. 
 
 I am always ready myfelf j am now : in point of fadt 
 
 I have promifed to do what I can : but fmce, before I a6t. 
 
 Or even judge, I am willing to know all fides of a cafe, 
 
 'Tis part of my duty to fee this girl. — Could you procure 
 
 That I fhould fpeak with her ? 
 
 Fam. lajjde'] This is the very thing we want 
 
OFBACCHVS ' 17 
 
 If now I could get him to alk Antiphila here to-day, 
 
 Clinia of courfe would come : Fll try and work it. 
 
 Chr. Well ? 
 
 Anfwer me. Could you do this ? 
 
 Pam. Yes, father. 
 
 Chr, When ? 
 
 Fam. To-day, 
 
 Chr^ I did not mean to-day. 
 
 Fam, There's no time like the prefent, 
 
 Chr, For inconvenience ? 
 
 Fam, No • for opportunity. 
 
 Chr. How fo ? 
 
 Fam» Invite her here to fpend the feaft with us, 
 
 And bring a friend. 
 
 Chr. But would fhe come ? 
 
 Fam. Yes, fhe would come. 
 
 Chr. Whom have you afked befides ? 
 
 Fam. Only Philolaches. 
 
 Chr. It happens, Pamphilus, we are fhort of guefts ; I find 
 
 My old friend Phanias has gone from home to-day. 
 
 Phaxymeles' wife is ill • they cannot come : and now 
 
 Juft the laft thing Daniel has difappointed me. 
 
 The two young ladies would help us out : befides I am fure 
 
 'Twould pleafe your mother to afk them. 
 
 Fam. I cannot agree with you there, 
 
 Chr. Allow me to judge of that ^ and fince you faid you were able 
 
1% THE FEAST 
 
 To bring them — bring them. 
 
 Fam, Oh, if you wifli it, Fm ready enough j 
 
 I'll fee Jhey come : but I had forgotten; there is one more 
 Befides Philolaches. 
 
 Chr. Who then ? I beg you'll bring 
 
 None of your Clinias here. 
 
 Tarn, It's he that is with me now. 
 
 Chr. He is it ? That's quite another thing : a gentleman 
 At firft fight, Pamphilus ; I wifli that all your friends 
 Were fuch as he. By all means bring him. Prefent him now. 
 His name ? 
 Fam. Clitipho. 
 
 Chr. [afide] I like his appearance much : 
 When 1 came up he went refped:fully afide. — 
 Excellent maimers, [to Clin,'] Ha, good Clitipho, how d'ye do ? 
 'Tis time that we were acquainted. I underftand my fon 
 Has invited you to our houfe. There's not much I can offer. 
 But My little pot is foon hot, I am very glad 
 And proud to have you my gueft. 
 
 Clin, I thank you, fir ; I am forry — 
 
 Chr, No thanks, I pray. At prefent excufe me ^ for I mufl go 
 And prepare my wife to receive her guefts. You're fure they'll 
 
 come ? 
 Tarn, Sure. 
 
 Chr. And I hope they may. 'Twill make our numbers up. 
 
 We'll have a merry feaft. 
 
OFB^CCHFS i^ 
 
 Pam, Ay, fir. [£*/> Chr ernes 'withim 
 
 And fo we (hall, 
 Clinia. 
 
 Clin. What have you done ? 
 
 Tarn, Why pretty well, I think. 
 
 Clin. 1 did not look for this, nor wifli it, and do not like it. 
 "Bam. Not like it ! Is it not perfe6t ? If all the gods in heaven 
 Had put their heads together to aflift in your affairs, 
 They could not have done it better than I. My father bids 
 You iand Antiphila both to fpend the day ; and he. 
 Charmed with her grace and beauty, will ufe his influence 
 To bring your father round. 
 Clin. I would not rifk fo much 
 
 On the fancy of any man : and though I have a hope 
 Antiphila's charms will plead not vainly, that muft be 
 When (lie's my wife, not how : and they muft urge themfelves ; 
 Another cannot paint them. 
 
 Pam. I do befeech you, Cliiliaj 
 
 Dont leave a friend in the lurch. Hark you ; to tell the truth. 
 My fcheme fuits me to a te as well as you. My father 
 fixpedts Antiphila to bring a companion with her : 
 Now I have a lady friend, with whom I am circumftanced 
 Much as you are with yours. My father, juft as yours. 
 Would never hear of my afking her home ; but if fhe comes 
 To-day as Antiphila's friend, he'll not guefs who flie is ; 
 So you may have your love to yourfelf, and I have mine. » 
 
 C a 
 
lo THE FEAST 
 
 And fee, here comes Philolaches, our other gueft : 
 
 I'll tell him what is arranged : he'll be a ftrong ally. 
 
 C//». Indeed, I cant confent : and who is Philolaches, 
 
 That you lliould wifli to tell him all my private affairs ? 
 
 Pam. Ah, he can fmell a rat ; but dont be afraid of him ; 
 
 He's my fworn friend : and fure no lefs to keep a fecret^ 
 
 Than he is to find out anything in the mortal world 
 
 That you feek to withhold. 
 
 'Cli». I pray, fay nothing to him of me. 
 
 Pam. Truft us ; we wont betray you. [runs back to meet Thil,^ 
 
 Clin, Pamphilus ! why he's gone. 
 
 Now fave me from my friends ! Indeed this Pamphilus 
 
 Will be my ruin : I wifli to heaven I had never met him. 
 
 He'll tell his father next, this old Ionian huckfter, 
 
 Sponge-mongering Chremes ; the gods defend me from him, 
 
 And his family feaft, and his profy wifdom ! I thought to fpend 
 
 This day of my return with fweet Antiphila : 
 
 And here I am, caught by the ears. And yet my troublefome friend 
 
 Means well : I would not hurt his feelings ; but at any coft 
 
 I muft get clear, and in one matter I cannot yield : 
 
 I will not have Antiphila brought to the judgement feat 
 
 Of this fuburban oracle. What has he to do 
 
 With me and mine, my father or her — to pufli his nofe 
 
 Into our aflFairs ? 
 
 Reenter Pamphilus luith Philolaches, 
 
 Pam. Allow me, Clinia, here's my friend 
 
OFBACCHVS XI 
 
 Philolaches, the ador. Philolaches, my friend 
 
 Clinia, who is, as I told you, in Perfia, you underftand. 
 
 He looks for fome afTurance of your difcretion. 
 
 Fh, Sir, 
 
 You have it. Take this hand. And by the dog I fwear 
 
 Not to divulge a tittle ; in friendfliip's fecrefy 
 
 Rather to aid — 
 
 Clin, No need, fir : I take the will for the deed. 
 
 My bufinefs is my own, and not of fuch a kind 
 
 As another can help in. 
 
 Vam, Oh, but he can. 
 
 Ph, A family quarrel — 
 
 Meddling of courfe refented. But while your father, fir, 
 
 Treats you fo ill, expels you his houfe, denies his ear 
 
 To the pitiful plea — 
 
 Clin, Excufe me again. I do not know 
 
 That my father is ill-difpofed. 
 
 Fh, [to Pam,~] You told me. 
 
 Fam^ I faid he *was'^ 
 
 But Clinia hopes he may now be changed. 
 
 Ph. . If that's the cafe, 
 
 I fee that your wifh muft be, that I ihould difcovcr at once 
 
 Your father's temper towards you. 
 
 Clin, Indeed, fir, I do not wifh it. 
 
 Ph, I die to ferve you. 
 
 -Clin. I thank you. 
 
ii THE FEAST 
 
 Fh, I promife to find it out 
 
 In half an hour. 
 
 C//». How wOiild you ? 
 
 Fh* I am an ador, fir ; 
 
 Never fo much myfelf as when I feem another. 
 
 Would you employ my talent — 
 
 Cl'm» Why, what would you do ? 
 
 Fh, Difguife myfelf as a Perfian, late arrived in Athens i 
 
 Go to your father's houfe and bring him tidings of you. 
 
 How the old man took what I fliould tell him would teach you all; 
 
 Nay, I can promife more • that, if there's left in him 
 
 The laft wandering fpark of affedion, I'll blow it to flame^ 
 
 And you fhall twill him round your thumb. 
 
 Fam» Bravo ! 
 
 Clin, But, fir. 
 
 What tidings would you feign ? 
 
 Fh. That is as I fliould find him : 
 
 If foft, I'd handle him kindly : if hard, I'd fay I'd feen yoa 
 
 Sick of a fever, enflaved, imprifoned, or, if required, 
 
 Dead and buried. 
 
 Clin. And fo you would give him needlefs pain. 
 
 Fh, That is the queftion, Clinia ; if you were fure of that. 
 
 You would not be hiding. 
 
 Clin» Nay, but the doubt will not excufe me 
 
 In doing the thing, which I flill muft hope would pain him moft. 
 
 Fh, What matter, when all the time you are juft behind the hedge ? 
 
OF B A C C HV S xg 
 
 Fh, No reafon I fee to wound him : I fliall feel my way. 
 
 An hour will fettle all. If he be kindly bent. 
 
 Or I can move him towards you, you muil: ftand prepared 
 
 To ftrike while the iron is hot. The lady, I underftand. 
 
 Will be with you here : be ready, that when I give the word 
 
 You ftep acrofs the road and kneel for the old man's blefling. 
 
 Clin, I have told you, Pamphilus, Antiphila muft not come. 
 
 Your father's interference is moll unfortunate : 
 
 He is not my judge for good or ill. It lliall not be. 
 
 Fam, I have promifed. 
 
 Clin, I am determined. 
 
 Fh. A very delicate point. 
 
 And yet 'tis a pity they fliould not come. 
 
 Fam. O Clinia, 
 
 Your obftinacy will ruin all. 
 
 Fh. [to Fam,'] I underftand 
 
 Your friend objeds to the lady coming, becaufe he thinks 
 
 Your father will know her } 
 
 Fam, And fo he will. 
 
 Fh, N'ay, not at all. 
 
 Chremes need never know her. 
 
 Fam, How can you manage that ? 
 
 Fh, The thing's as eafy as lying. Let the ladies change 
 
 Their names j or if fo be Chremes knows not their names. 
 
 Let them but change their parts. Gorgo — for that's the lady, 
 
 Whom you would bring, I guefs — let Gorgo pafs to-day 
 
24- TH E F E A ST 
 
 For Clinia's miftrefs j let Antiphila play the maid : 
 
 Which hinders not that when they come, each take his own. 
 
 You have your Gorgo; you, fir, your Antiphila : 
 
 And none will be any the wifer. 
 
 Fam, Good. What fay you now ? 
 
 C//». 'Twould make all kinds of complications, Pamphilus : 
 
 And all to no manner of purpofe. 
 
 Pam, Why I fliould keep my promife, 
 
 And fpend the day with Gorgo. 
 
 Clin, I'll play no part in this. 
 
 You quite forget befides that as yet I know not how 
 
 Antiphila will receive me, I have been fix months away • 
 
 She may have thrown me over, may have another lover, 
 
 And think of me no more. 
 
 Fh, Wifh you to find out that ? 
 
 I'll ferve you too in this, Give me the word to go 
 
 And vifit her where fhe lives, and if I find her true. 
 
 To bring her along at once. 
 
 Clin, 'Tis extremely kind of you, fir. 
 
 To throw yourfelf fo quickly and hotly into my affairs : 
 
 But indeed I do not need it.' 
 
 Ph. ^Tis plain to me you do. 
 
 A runaway jufl returned, afraid to face his father. 
 
 Fearful left in his abfence his miftrefs have proved untrue — 
 
 Not need a friend ? Why a friend is juft what you do need. 
 
 To difcover for you the ftate of affairs, and put you in train. 
 
OFBACCHVS %^ 
 
 Clin. Though, fir, I were quite content to reckon upon your zeal. 
 
 May be you overrate your ability. 
 
 H- Not at all. 
 
 Vnlefs you will fay that by art I am able to counterfeit 
 
 Paffion in all its branches, and yet not know the thing 
 
 When r fee it • — as if a man could write who cannot read. 
 
 You think your love for this lady a fecret between yourfelves — 
 
 That file would not reveal it to me, a ftranger ? How in the world 
 
 Could file conceal it ? Why, dont you know that a girl in love 
 
 Is ^ B C to read ? Trufl me and let me try. 
 
 Fam. Clinia, do yield, I pray. 
 
 Clin, I know not what to do. 
 
 ril yield fo far as this : that if Philolaches 
 
 Can, as he boafts, difcover thefe two things for me, 
 
 Firfl how my father ftands difpofed to me now, and next 
 
 Whether Antiphila's heart is firm — and this fo foon 
 
 And eafily as he thinks— I would not hinder him. 
 
 One ftipulation only : let him name what time 
 
 Will cover the whole performance j for failing him, I'd like 
 
 To take my affairs in hand myfclf. I'll aik him then. 
 
 When does he hope to do this ? 
 
 Fh, Give me an hour a-piece. 
 
 Clin, This afternoon. 
 
 Fh. Enough ; a bargain. 'Tis two hearts 
 
 To read — your father and miftrefs. 
 
 Clin, And both this afternoon. 
 
x6 THE FEAST 
 
 Pam, And bring the lady if fhe is true. 
 
 Clin, I faid not that. 
 
 Pam, Clinia, you muft. 
 
 Th. Agree to this : 1 firft will go 
 
 And vifit Antiphila ; if flie is willing, I bring her here. 
 
 And here you may meet. But fmce llie comes as Gorgo's maid, 
 
 "Twill be eafy for you to withdraw with her, where and when you 
 
 choofe : 
 I meanwhile will angle your father. 
 Clin, [to Fam.~] Then thus I afTent • 
 
 That firft, flie is not introduced to your father ^ and fecondly, 
 That I may take her away when 1 choofe. 
 Pam, Agreed. 
 
 Ph, I'm off. 
 
 But firft a word with you. [to Pam,'] 
 Pam, [to Clin,] O Clinia, I do thank you. 
 
 But dont ftay out here longer : fomebody is fure to fee you. 
 Go into the houfe. 
 
 Clin, If you will come with me. 
 
 Pam, I'll come diredly. 
 
 Clin, 1 have never met your people. I cant go in by myfelf. 
 Pam, Why, man alive, there's only my father & mother. Go in. 
 
 [Exit Clinia ivithin, 
 Ph, Your friend has money ? 
 Pam. Yes, his father. 
 
 Ph. If I fucceed, 
 
OF B A C Cti FS 17 
 
 He'll give me fomething ? 
 
 Pam, Surely. What are you going to do ? 
 
 P/>. I'm going to drefs myfelf up as a Perfian — didnt you 'hear ? — 
 
 To take in old Menedemus. 
 
 Pam. May I help ? 
 
 P^, Why, yes. 
 
 If you will do as I tell : you fliall be Perfian in chief. 
 
 Swagger and talk the gibberifh : I'll be interpreter. 
 
 Two heads are better than one though one be a tup's head. 
 
 Pam. Menedemus knows me by fight. 
 
 P>&. Not in a Perfian drefs. 
 
 Come, there's no time to lofe. I'll go to the lady firft : 
 
 What is her name ? Antiphila ? 
 
 Pam. Yes. 
 
 P>&. And where does fhe live ? 
 
 Pam, I'll come with you down the road, and tell yoxi all as we go^ 
 
 But let's be off. I fear Clinia may change his mind, [Exeunt, 
 
 End of A^ the Firfi, 
 
 D i 
 
is THE F E A ST 
 
 ^9^^5^^^^5^^ 
 
 AB the Second, 
 
 Famphilm* 
 
 WHAT unjuft judges fathers all are towards their children j 
 Pretending to us as they do that the moment we ceafe to 
 be boys 
 We ought to become thorough old men, without a trace 
 Of the inclinations natural to our time of life : 
 Governing us by the rule of their prefent appetites. 
 And not by thofe they have loft. If ever I have a fon. 
 He will find me an eafy father, able to underftand 
 His faults, I hope, and ready to make allowance for them : 
 Not like mine, fufpicious and crofs — and he never fpeaks 
 But to read me a ledure on fomebody elfe. Why, blefs my foul. 
 If he has but taken an extra glafs or two, the tales 
 Of his own wickednefs he'll come out with ! And then he fays, 
 By others* faults wife men correB their own. What wifdom ! 
 He little thinks how deaf an adder he is trying to charm. 
 At prefent the words ol my miftrefs touch me nearer far. 
 
OFBACCHFS xp 
 
 When file fays, Give mc this, or. Bring me that ^ and I 
 Have nothing to anfwer. Nobody could be in a worfe plight. 
 This fellow Clinia here has his hands full, yet his miftrefs 
 Is modeft and well brought up, too gentle and innocent 
 To trifle with afFedion. Mine is a tine lady, exadting. 
 Vain, fafllionable and extravagant ; and I lack the means 
 To pleafe her fancy. This misfortune is new to me — 
 An experience, which I have only juft begun to learn : 
 And as yet my father guefses nothing of it. 
 
 Enter Clinia. 
 
 Clin, If all were well, 
 
 They muft have been here before : I fear there's fom.ething happened, 
 
 Or that in my abfence flie may have become eftranged from me. 
 
 'Pam, What now, man ? 
 
 Clin. O, I am moft unhappy. 
 
 Fam, You had beft take care, 
 
 Or fome one coming out of your father's houfe may fee you. 
 
 Clin, I will ; but, Pamphilus, I have a ftrong prefentiment 
 
 Of fome misfortune, I know not what. 
 
 IPam, Why, what's the matter ? 
 
 Clin, Were nothing the matter, they certainly would have been 
 
 here by tliis. 
 Fam, Nonfenfe. Doesnt it ftrike you it's fome way off? and then 
 You know how it is with women, they are always about a year 
 Putting on their things and getting themfelves up. 
 Clin, But only fancy if really (he fhould have forgotten me ! 
 
^O THE F E A ST 
 
 Yes^ — while like a fool I ran away from home. 
 
 And wandered 1 know not'where, falFn in deep difgrac6, 
 
 Vndutiful to my father, for whom I am now forry 
 
 And afliamed of my condud towards him ^ — thou, yes, O thou haft 
 
 Deferted me, my Antiphila. What fliall I do ? 
 
 Fam. Look, look ! 
 
 I fee them coming. 
 
 Clin. Where ? 
 
 Tarn, Well, here's Philolaches, 
 
 Who comes to announce thern, [afide] and on his fhoulders a 
 
 mighty bale 
 Of Perfian togs. [Enter Fhilolaches 'with a large bundle. 
 
 Clin, He has come without them ! [to Fhili^ Tell me, fir. 
 
 Do the ladies come ? 
 
 Fh, They follow • I come before 
 
 Becaufe there's not a woman in Athens would walk with me 
 Carrying such a bundle along the public ftreets. 
 I was alnioft afl:iamed of myfelf. \_fets bundle down, ] 
 Clin, But does ftie know I am here ? 
 
 Fh, Or elfe fhe had never come. 
 
 Clin, You have adually feen her then ? 
 
 Fh, I'll tell you all I faw. The bufinefs was, I think. 
 To difcover if fhe was true ? 
 Clin, It was. Indeed I feared — 
 
 Fh, Then I have difcovered it for you. 
 Clin, If you have really done fo, 
 
OFBACCHFS 5J 
 
 Tell me your news at once. 
 
 Pj&. Attend. When firft I came 
 
 To the houfe I knocked. Out came an old woman and opened the 
 
 door • 
 I ftruck paft her into the room. Of all the ways 
 Of finding out how flie has been living all thefe months. 
 This fuddenly breaking in on her was the beft : this gave me 
 A pretty good guefs at her ufual way of fpending the time : 
 There's nothing like it for fliowing what people really are. 
 1 came upon her hard at work at her tapeftry, 
 DrefTed in a common gown : no gold about her • none 
 Of the rouge and powder, that women bedaub their faces with : 
 She was dreffed like thofe who drefs for themfelves : her hair was 
 
 loofe 
 And pufhed back carelefsly from her face — 
 C/in, Go on, I pray. 
 
 Ph, The old woman was fpinning the woof : one fervant girl befides 
 Wove with her, quite in rags, untidy and dirty. 
 Pam» Now, 
 
 If this is true, I fee you are fafe. You would not find 
 The fervant a flattern, where there's a lover. 
 Clin. Pray go on. 
 
 Ph* But when I told her that you were returned, and had fent for 
 
 her. 
 She fuddenly flopped in her work • the tears ran down her cheeks 
 In fuch a way it was eafy to fee 'twas for love of you. — 
 
3X THE VE ui ST 
 
 Clin. Perdition take me now, if I know where I am for joy. 
 
 I was fo afraid. 
 
 Fam. And Gorgo is coming ? 
 
 Pi&. Ay, no fear. 
 
 But dont forget who's who. 
 
 Fam, And have you taught the ladies 
 
 Their parts? 
 
 Fh, Antiphila's part is nothing to learn at all j 
 
 Except file muft not call your friend by his right name ; 
 
 But Gorgo — 
 
 Fam. What ? 
 
 Fh, Why file was hard to perfuade, but once 
 
 Perfuaded, I do not fear her. I am more afraid of you ; 
 
 Dont you forget that flie doefnt belong to you, mind ! The flip 
 
 Of a word might ruin all. And dont make figns. 
 
 Fam, Truft me. 
 
 See here they come. 
 
 Clin* I fee them. 
 
 Fh» Stay • let us Hand afide • 
 
 And watch them till they fee us. 
 
 Clin. Why now ! 
 
 Fh» I fay, ftand back, [retire. 
 
 Enter Gorgo & Antiphila. 
 
 Gor. Vpon my word, my dear Antiphila, I do praife 
 
 And envy you too, when I fee how all your ftudy has been 
 
 To make your mind as charming and fweet as your face. Lord 
 
OF BACCHUS 5 J 
 
 love you, 
 I'm not furprifed at any one wanting to marry you. 
 I fee from what you've faid what kind of perfon you are j 
 And when I come to think of the fort of life, which you, 
 And people like you, lead, who keep admirers off 
 At arms' length, then no wonder, I fay, that you fliould be 
 Juft what you are, and others like me, fo different. 
 Then once your mind made up to fliare and fpend your days 
 With the man whofe difpofition is moft congenial to you. 
 He never leaves you more : for mutual benefits 
 Muft bind you fo clofely, that no misfortune can ever come 
 To crofs your love. 
 
 Ant. I cannot tell what others do ; 
 
 But I know I always have wiflied, and done my beft, to fin4 
 My happinefs in what pleafed him. 
 Clin, \jifide'] Ah, my Antiphila, 
 
 And that is why I love you, why I am now returned. 
 Gor» Who is that young man who is ftanding to look at us ? 
 Ant. Ah, hold me up ! 
 
 Gor. Why, what in the world's the matter, my dear } 
 
 Ant. I fliall die ; I fliall die ! 
 
 Gor, Do fay, what is it aflonilhes you ? 
 
 Ant. Is it Clinia I fee or not } 
 Gor. See who ? 
 
 Clin. 'Tis I, my deareft. 
 
 Ant. My long-expeded Clinia, it is you. 
 
^4 THE FE A ST 
 
 Clin, Are you well ? 
 
 Ant, O, I am glad you have come back fafe. 
 
 Clin, Do I hold thee, 
 
 Antiphila, thou moft defired of my heart ! 
 
 Fh, Take care. 
 
 Remember. Here comes the old man. [takes up the hundle,'] 
 
 Enter Chremes from his houfe, 
 
 Chr, I thought fo ; here you are. 
 
 I heard your voices. I welcome you all. How very nice ! 
 
 Now, Pamphilus, pray prefent me ! 
 
 Fam. \_prefenting Gorgo'] This is the lady, fir. 
 
 My father, mifs. 
 
 Chr, [_aftde'] She is handfomely drefled. [to Gorgo'] I am very proud 
 
 To make your acquaintance. I hope the day may be fortunate. 
 
 ''Twas kind of you now to come. 
 
 Gor. Why, blefs your heart, old man, 
 
 I thank ye : but all the fame I came to pleafe myfelf. 
 
 Chr. [aftde'] My word ! 
 
 Fam, And this is the lady (lie brings with her. 
 
 Chr, [to Antiphila] Ah, good-day. 
 
 You are welcome, welcome all. Again, good Clitipho. 
 
 Philolaches, I think. Good-day to you, fir ! My word ! 
 
 What a gigantic bundle ! 
 
 Fh, Ay. 
 
 Chr. What can it be ? 
 
 Fh, The ladies* cloaks and wrappers. 
 
OFBACCHVS 35" 
 
 Chr. Shame to load you thus I 
 
 You know the proverb. The 'willing horfe... Pray fet them down, 
 ril fend a fervant to take them. 
 
 Ph, Nay, 'tis the mereft trifle. 
 
 Clin, Why, yes : and I'll call my wife : excufe me, ladies — 3. 
 moment. 
 
 Softrata, Softrata ! \_goes into houfe calling,'] 
 
 Pam, [to Ph,] Follow me quick : this way, before my father is back. 
 
 Exeunt Pam. ^ Ph. into houfe at back, 
 Vlin, You know why I am returned ? 
 
 Ant, Nay, you muft tell me firft 
 
 What made you go away. 
 
 Clin, I could not help it, love j 
 
 My father — 
 
 Ant, O, I know ; but is he not kinder now ? 
 Clin, Nay, I am afraid he is not. 
 
 Reenter Chr ernes ivith fervant. 
 
 Chr, Ladies, my wife's within : 
 
 She begs you'll enter. Why! and where is Philolaches ? 
 
 Clitipho, pray go in — no ceremony, (ir — 
 
 And take this lady with you. I follow. 
 
 Clin, I thank you, fir. 
 
 Exeunt Clinia & Antiphila 'within, 
 Chr, [to Gorgo] With you I beg one word of explanation alone. 
 Ere we go in — one word — 
 Got, I wait your pleafure, fir. 
 
^6 THE F E A ST 
 
 Chr. I do not wifli to feem to meddle in your affairs. 
 Gor, No matter for that. 
 
 Chr* Believe me, that, if I interfere, 
 
 It is for your good. 
 
 Gor, I know, fir, and thank you very kindly. 
 
 Chr, I broach the matter at once : my maxim has always been, 
 ^Straight to the hufmefs, 
 
 Gor. Well, I dont diflike you for that. 
 
 Chr, Then am I not right in thinking you have never fo much as 
 
 met 
 Old Menedemus ? 
 Gor, No. 
 
 Chr, You have not ? 
 
 Gor. No. 
 
 Chr. Stay. Perhaps 
 
 Vou dont know who I mean. 
 
 "Gor, He's whatdyecallem's father. 
 
 Chr, [a fide] Whatdyecallem ? well ! — He is Clinia's father j yes. 
 Gor, What of him ? 
 
 Chr. Why 'tis thus. \^afide'] What was I going to fay? 
 
 Gor. Go on, fir. 
 
 Chr. Ay, the long and the fliort of the matter is this* 
 
 i know your flory — let me fee — do I know your name ? 
 Gor, Gorgo. 
 
 Chr, Ay, to be fure. Well, Gorgo, I know your (toryj 
 
 But do not charge on you the unhappy confequence 
 
OF BACCHUS i*j 
 
 Of a rafh attachment. No. Young men will be young men. 
 
 And women are — women- no blame to them. But the fa(3: is this : 
 
 That being on intimate terms with Clinia's family, 
 
 1 have been entrufted by them, as one unprejudiced. 
 
 To enquire, to judge and advife, and, if I can, to find 
 
 A Modus Vivendi : you, Gorgo, of courfe are well aware 
 
 That your lover, whofe abfence has had no doubt its effed on you — 
 
 That Clinia's running away from home, I fay, was due 
 
 To his father's difapproval of your attachment : that 
 
 Gave rife to difagreement j and Clinia, balancing 
 
 'Twixt love and duty, fled from home, and is now abroad. 
 
 Madly rifking his life in Afia. Why do you laugh ? 
 
 Gor, Indeed, fir, I was not laughing. 
 
 CJ[jr. The fliock this gave his father 
 
 Betrayed at laft the afFedion he really bore his fon : 
 
 it meafures too the mifchief — fliows his purpofe too. 
 
 And ftrong determination. He fold his houfe in town. 
 
 Retired from life and pleafure — bought a farm out here, 
 
 And works upon it from morning till night like a common drudge. 
 
 There's nothing no laugh at. 
 
 ixor, Excufe me, fir, I was only thinking 
 
 Of fomething very ridiculous. 
 
 Chr, Attend. 'Tis you have caufed 
 
 This quarrel : you have alienated father and fon. 
 
 Nor only that j but it lies with you, and you alone, 
 
 That one is riiking his life in wild and barbarous wars, 
 
V8 THE FE A ST 
 
 The other is taking leave of his fenfes as fall as he can. 
 
 Think of this happy family life thus broken up, 
 
 Which may be never renewed. Suppofe that Clinia 
 
 Be flain in the wars, and his father brought by grief to his grave — 
 
 Should not this make you ferious ? 
 
 Gor, He! He! He! 
 
 Vhr* Yotir trifling manner, mifs, 
 
 Caufes me much diftrefs. 
 
 Gor, I am very nervous, fir. 
 
 Your folemn way of talking alarms me, and when alarmed, 
 
 I always laugh. He ! He ! He ! 
 
 Chr. Well try and contain yourfelf, I pray. 
 
 I afked you here to my houfe the better to judge of you. 
 
 Gor. Ha! Ha! Ha! 
 
 <Zhr, Well, well, I fee you are merry. I would not check your 
 
 mirth. 
 And yet I cannot fee what caufe you have to laugh. 
 Still 'tis a feaft with us. I bade you join the feaft : 
 Be merry to-day. 
 Gor. Ha! Ha! I will, fir. 
 
 Enter Famphilus & Thtlolaches, 
 Chr. [afide] By luck, here's Pamphilus — 
 
 [to Gorr\ See, here is my fon : go in : Fll fpeak with you foon again, 
 Gor, What time do you dine ? 
 Chr, At five. 
 
 "Gar, Is the bath made hot ? 
 
OF B A e C HV S jp 
 
 Ck\ [aftde] My word ! 
 
 What a woman ! — I'll call my wife to attend you within. 
 
 Gar, I thank you. I'll take the bath, \_going indoors.'] 
 
 Chr. [aftde to Fain,'] O Pamphilus, Pamphilus. 
 
 What have you done ? Such a woman as this to dine in my houfe ! 
 
 Exit Chremes with Gorgo. 
 Pam, By Jove, Philolaches; here's a dilemma ^now 
 I had never thought of. 
 Ph. What ? 
 
 Pam. Why when, for Clinia's fake. 
 
 We changed the ladies, I quite forgot that I had defcribed 
 Antiphila to my father. Gorgo will never do. 
 Ph. Why not ? 
 
 Pam. Dont afk. What is to be done ? What fhall I fay ? 
 
 Ph. I'm thinking. 
 
 Pam. My father muft never know who Gorgd is. 
 
 Ph. I fee. 
 
 Pam. What can I tell him ? 
 Ph. I'm thinking. 
 
 Pam. He muft not know. 
 
 Ph. Do let me think. 
 
 Pam. What is to be done ? What can I fay ? 
 
 Ph» I have it. 
 Pam. What is it ? 
 
 Ph. If we can do it — 
 
 Pam. What ? 
 
40 THE FEAST 
 
 Th. Your father 
 
 Muft fooner or later come to learn the ladies were changed. 
 
 Pam. To-morrow that will not matter when Gorgo is out ot the 
 
 way. 
 To-day we muft keep up the deception. 
 Fh. 1 fee you muft. 
 
 Tarn, How can I ? 
 
 Ph, What do you fay if I can make your father 
 
 Give Gorgo fifty pounds for being fo much unlike 
 The lady he thinks flie is ? 
 
 Fam. ImpofTible. '^ 
 
 Ph. Nay, tis not. 
 
 Pam, Well how ? 
 
 Ph, Why when your father fcolds, turn round upon him 5 
 
 Say you knew all along exadly what he would think. 
 And brought the lady here in the hope heM fee his way 
 To helping old Menedemus out of his scrape. 
 Pam. And then ? 
 
 Ph. Tell him to offer Gorgo forty or fifty pounds. 
 If ftie will renounce her claim on Clinia. 
 Pam. Fifty pounds ! 
 
 My father give fifty pounds ! 
 
 Ph. Why, dont you wifh he would ? 
 
 Pam, And what's the ufe of wifliing ? 
 Ph. Try him. 
 
 Pam. I think you're mad. 
 
OFBACCHFS 4.1 
 
 Fh. Try it- Pll help you out. See here he comes. 
 
 Enter Chremes, 
 
 Chr, Good heavens! 
 
 Pamphilus, here's a fample of manners and good breeding. 
 How could you ever have thought of bringing that woman here ? 
 Pam. You faid you wanted to fee her : I thought you wiflied her 
 
 to come. 
 Chr, When, fir, I blamed your friend, you faid I could not judge. 
 Not having feen the lady. Did I not rightly judge ? 
 P>&. [afide] Tell him you knew. Dont ftand there mum. 
 Chr, L am quite afliamed. 
 
 Pam. You fee then what (lie is like ? 
 Chr* Of courfe 1 fee too well. 
 
 Pam. I knew, fir, all along cxadly what you would think. 
 Ph. [a fide'] That's right. 
 Chr. And yet you brought her ? 
 
 Pam. You blame me, fir, too foon : 
 
 I have put within your reach the very thing you wiflied. 
 Chr. How fo ? 
 
 Pam. I thought you wiflied to help Menedemus out. 
 
 Chr. I do. 
 
 Pam. Why then 'tis eafy. 
 Ph. [afide] Bravo! 
 
 Chr. What do you mean ? 
 
 Pam. Why, fir, we are all agreed the match would never do • 
 Then why in the world not put a ftopper on it at once ? 
 
 F 
 
41 THE F E A ST 
 
 Chr» 1 dont quite fee your drift. 
 
 Pam, Why, forty or fifty pound 
 
 Would fettle the matter. 
 
 Chr, How ? 
 
 Fam, Juft make the offer and fee. 
 
 Chr, What offer ? 
 
 Fh, O, I fee. 
 
 Chr. I dont fee. 
 
 Fh, Capital ! 
 
 Chr. I'm very dull, no doubt. 
 
 Fh, If 'twas my place to fpeak... 
 
 Chr, I dont forbid you, fir. 
 
 Fh, Then, fir, I praife the fcheme. 
 
 Chr. What fchem.e .? 
 
 Fh. ril wager my life he means, this lady here 
 
 Has plenty of other lovers ; offer her fifty pounds, 
 
 If flie'U renounce this one. 
 
 Chr. Why, ftuff : fuppofe flie did. 
 
 She might be off to-day and on again to-morrow : 
 
 Befides, againft what Clinia's worth in cafli to her, 
 
 A fifty pounds is nothing. [To Fam.'] If that is all you meant, 
 
 You're a very clever fellow. 
 
 Fh, No doubt there's nothing in it, 
 
 Vnlefs fhe fet her hand to paper. 
 
 Chr. Would that bind ? 
 
 How can you think it ? 
 
OF B A C C HV S 4.3 
 
 Ph. It might not be binding perhaps on her : 
 
 And yet 'twould do the bufinefs. If it did not fliock 
 
 Clinia's love, as it mull, 'twould kill his laft pretence. 
 
 How could he face his father armed with fuch a paper ? 
 
 If you will help this old Menedemus, that's the way — 
 
 Chr. I'll tell Menedemus of this. 
 
 Fam. If you would help him, father, 
 
 Spare him the pain. No doubt he'd give you back the money. 
 
 Chr. I believe you there. I'd give fix times the fum myfelf. 
 
 Were I in his place. 
 
 Fh, I've half a mind, if you are afraid. 
 
 To do it myfelf. 
 
 Chr* I fhould not fear to advance the money. 
 
 Fh. A poor man might, but you, fir,... 
 
 Chr, I do not grudge the money. 
 
 Fh, A gentleman cant confider his pocket at every turn. 
 
 Fam, I'm fure you cant. 
 
 Chr, Do you think that forty pounds would do it ? 
 
 Fh, Forty or fifty. 
 
 Chr, Thirty ? 
 
 Fam, Do it handfomely. 
 
 You fay you'd give fix times the fum yourfelf. 
 
 Chr. I would. 
 
 Ay, Pamphilus, fifty times. 
 
 Ph, Then dont think twice about it. 
 
 Chr. I do think twice, \_goes afide] 
 
 F a 
 
44 THE FEAST 
 
 Vh\ Will he do it or not ? 
 
 'Pam. My lucky coin. 
 
 Ph. Watch him. 
 
 Pam. Heads he does, and tails he doefnt. Heads ! 
 
 He does. 
 
 Ph, And he will. Look at him. 
 
 Chr . [aftde] Fifty pounds ! A rifk. 
 
 No chance of profit • no : nor marketable return. 
 
 Yet might it fave a thousand. Well faved, is like well fpent ^ 
 
 Ay, even though 'tis faved for another : befides I am fure 
 
 The money is fafe enough. And now I have gone fo far 
 
 To help Menedemus, I cant draw back • while if I do it, 
 
 I certainly win his efteem and thanks. 'Tis very true 
 
 That a good turn done to a neighbour is done to onefelf : one lives 
 
 Within the circle of joy one goes to create ! 'Tis wife : 
 
 And then to have Menedemus my friend ! Say forty pounds ; 
 
 I happen to have it handy. Fll do it. It Ihant be faid, 
 
 Chremes is not a gentleman. No, Fll do it. 
 
 Pam, Sirj 
 
 Have you decided ? 
 
 Chr. I have. 
 
 Ph. You'll do it ? 
 
 Chr. I fliall. 
 
 Ph. Bravo! 
 
 Will you give us the money now ? 
 
 Chr. You, fir ! 
 
OF B A C C H V S 4.5 
 
 Th. I mean to your fon • 
 
 To arrange with the lady. 
 
 Chr. How fo ? You feem in a vaft hurry. 
 
 I manage my own affairs. Befides the forty pounds 
 
 Is only a guefs. I hope to win the lady for lefs. 
 
 Perhaps you thought that if I gave you the round fum, 
 
 I fliould not enquire for the balance, and you might manage to fave 
 
 A little commilTion. No : I manage my own affairs. 
 
 You cant take Chremes in as eafily as all that. [exit, 
 
 Ph, Ho ! ho ! ho ! ho ! What fay you ? 
 
 Pam. You are a. genius. 
 
 P/&. ' Well! 
 
 You wanted a prefent for Gorgo, you told me. Wont this, do ? 
 
 Pam. Oh yes ! But I am amazed. 
 
 Ph. Come, let's go in and drefs, 
 
 I hope to bleed Menedemus to better purpofe than this. 
 
 For after all we (hant fee much of his forty pounds • 
 
 And as far as I am concerned it's money thrown away, [exeunt. 
 
 End of AEi the Second, 
 
4^ 
 
 THE FEAST 
 
 AB the Third. 
 
 Enter Chr ernes, 
 
 I NEVER faw fuch a woman ; never in all my life. 
 Vpon my word I am forry for poor Menedemus now : 
 What would he have done without me ? What a predicament ! 
 Suppofe his fon had returned, and he with his fimple heart 
 Had given in, and had this woman to live in his houfe — 
 Well, thanks to me he is fafe. Forty pounds, I think. 
 Was not fo dear a bargain : and yet 'tis a tidy fum. 
 As much as I ftiould make on a fmall confignment of fponges' : 
 And that I have paid on rilk — although I cannot doubt 
 But that Menedemus will gladly pay me again — 'tis rifked. 
 All for this paper, wherein the lady promifes 
 In confideration of this fame^money made over to her, 
 Never again to receive the addrefles of her quondam lover, 
 Clinia • figned Gorgo : a genuine bufinefs. 
 And yet no wonder fhe laughed • of courfe flie thinks me a fool 
 To confider her promife of weight. Ah miftrefs, giggle and all. 
 
OFBACCHVS 47 
 
 Pve fettled your hafli. Ha ! ha ! ^twas clever of Pamphilus : 
 
 The lad has fome of my wits. But ftill 1 fliall be uneafy, 
 
 Vntil I find Menedemus is reafonable : — indeed * 
 
 ril lofe no time. Menedemus might defire to come 
 
 And judge for himfelf : Til prefs him to do fo • 'twere beft, and then 
 
 He'll dine with us after all, and 1 iliall dine much better 
 
 Myfelf, I muft confefs, when I know my money is fafe. 
 
 Exit into Menedemus' garden. 
 
 Enter Philolaches ^ Pamphilus difguifed as Ferjians, 
 
 Fh, Now dont you think we are unmiftakeable Perfians, eh ? 
 
 Fam. The effence of Central Afia : I fliouldnt fear to meet 
 
 The fliade of Themiftocles. 
 
 Fh. Indeed, I'll bet my life 
 
 Your mother would never know you. Is it not a miracle 
 
 What thefe wide fnowy troufers and black beards will do ? 
 
 Fam, I like the hat. 
 
 Fh. Is it comfortable ? 
 
 Fam, It fits like flin. 
 
 Have you your tale by heart ? 
 
 Fh, I fhant go wrong in that. 
 
 You muft fpeak mock High Perfian, as interpreter 
 
 I will make fenfe of nonfenfe. Be grave too. 
 
 Fam, If I laugh, 
 
 I've got a pretty good fleeve to laugh in. Let us go. 
 
 But ftay — which gate fliould good true Perfians enter by ? 
 
 In at the garden gate, or round the houfe to the front .? 
 
4-8 T H E F E A S T 
 
 Fh. Suppofe we try the garden. Isnt this the garden ? 
 Fam. Yes. 
 
 Fh. rU lead. You know the way too well. 
 
 They go to garden gate and there meet Chremes enter'mg, 
 Fam, Gods, here's my father ! 
 
 Chr. [afide'] Why, who in the name of wonder are thefe queer fo- 
 reigners ? 
 
 Fh, LIERTOS TVLVO. 
 
 Chr. Sir, I do not underftand you. 
 
 Fam, [to Fhil. aftde~\ Tell him we want Menedemus, and get him 
 out of the way. 
 
 — MEFARIM BVRNE SIN MENEDEMVS RYNEAS. 
 
 Fh, The prince falutes my lord, and afks if here in the earth 
 
 Are the threfliolds of lord Menedemus. 
 
 Chr. Ah, you fpeak our tongue. 
 
 'Tis well. This is his houfe. What would you with him ? 
 
 Fam. [to Fhil.~] . Heavens ! 
 
 What will you fay ? 
 
 Fh, Go on. 
 
 Fam. APROYSI THVLNEAR. 
 
 KEKACHYLOS RATVLIAN DRICHO BRESNION OIN. 
 
 Fh. My lord has bid me fay we are Perfians, fir, arrived 
 With tidings to lord Menedemus. 
 
 Chr. [afide'] Ah ! I guefled as much. 
 
 This fhould be news of Clinia : bad news too, I think. 
 Their Afiatic gravity cannot quite conceal 
 
OFBACCHVS 4^ 
 
 A ftrange anxiety. If he's dead, my money is loft, 
 
 My forty pounds all gone. I'll learn the truth at once. — 
 
 The news, fir, that ye bring, concerns it the old man's fon ? 
 
 Ph. \_afide] We're in for it. 
 
 Fam. Put him ofF, Say we bear fecret tidings. 
 
 NVSPIOL ONAYRMICO. 
 
 Fh, My lord, fir, will not fpeak 
 
 But only with lord Menedemus. 
 
 Chr. [afide] That's unfortunate. 
 
 How fhall I find it out ? Menedemus is gone from home : 
 
 I'm fure he'd wifli them to tell me j and 'twould be kindnefs' felf 
 
 Gently to break the news to the poor old man. Suppofe 
 
 I fay that I'm Menedemus. I'm fure that fcowling fellow 
 
 Would drive him out of his wits with fright. Ay, fo I'll do. — 
 
 Sir, tell your mafter that I am Menedemus. 
 
 Fam. \to Phil.'] Ho ; the deuce ! 
 
 What's to be done ? 
 
 Fh, [to Fam,'] The old liar. It's all the fame in the end. 
 
 He'll tell Menedemus for us. Go on. 
 
 Fam, VEQVAMIEL 
 
 SAREPO MANEAS / CAMERVSYN NASLONON. 
 
 Ph, I am bid to tell thee, fir, the news is of thy fon. 
 
 Chr, Is't bad news ? 
 
 Fh, Very bad. 
 
 Chr. Alas ! 
 
 Fam. [afide] Now muft my father 
 
5-0 THE FEAST 
 
 A6t for himfelf : he'll not difcover me. 
 Chr. I pray. 
 
 Tell me the worft. I am not entirely unprepared. 
 Conceal nothing. 
 
 Pam. BIOS EMELTO ORMIMOS 
 
 NASEPHON FELDIDO BO CHRYSNOTAPAROYS. 
 
 Fh, Clinia, thy fon, was (lain in battle by the prince 
 
 Nasephon on the plains of Chrysnotaparoys. 
 
 Chr. [afide] My money is^ paid for nothing : how very provoking. 
 
 But now 
 1 mull not forget the part I am playing. I muft affed 
 In fome degree the forrow which Menedemus would feel. — 
 Alas, my dear fon, ah, alas, my dear fon, flain, 
 
 Slain dead upon the plains of. 
 
 Fam. Chrysnotaparoys. 
 
 Chr, Of Chrysnotaparoys. Alas ! how was he flain ? 
 
 Fh, My mafter now will tell. 
 
 Fam. hastoripeson non. 
 
 Fh. They pierced him through with fpears. 
 
 Fam. BO NASLON TYVAMO. 
 
 Chr. What's that ? 
 
 Fh. They cut off his head. 
 
 Fam. vem dreschim pailekin. 
 
 Fh. They tore him limb from limb. 
 
 Chr. Alas my son ! No hope. — 
 
 [afide] I dont know what to fay. — Barbarian beafts ! 
 
OFBACCHf^S $1 
 
 ^h. Oh fir! 
 
 Wreak not thy wrath on us, the unwilling meflengers 
 
 Of mournful tidings. 
 
 Chr. Pray dont take me now for a fool : 
 
 I perfectly underftand, that my obligation to you 
 
 Is as great as if the news you brought was good. Go on. 
 
 Pardon the hafty expreffion that burft from me in my woe. 
 
 If yet there is more, dont fcruple to tell it. 
 
 Ph, We thank thee. 
 
 Fam. CATROS 
 
 VSCORINO FRICOSAN NON. 
 
 Ph, They flayed him alive^ 
 
 Fam, [afide to FhiL'] You've killed him twice. 
 
 Chr, O horror ! 
 
 Ph, [to PamJ] Give me a long one now. 
 
 Pam, PERMASON CRALTI ABRITHEOS NASOLION / 
 ILNO SYNORPTN MVDI. 
 
 Ph. Ere he died thy fon 
 
 Sent thee a meffage, fir. There lives in the town hard by 
 
 A poor old widow woman from Corinth 
 
 Chr. I know. Her daughter 
 
 My fon fell madly in love with, was even on the point to marry. 
 
 'Twould never have done : ftie was not at all the fort of woman. 
 
 Tell me, firs, when you came. 
 
 Ph. Our fliip arrived this morning ; 
 
 And lince we fail to-night, 'twill fave thee needlefs trouble 
 
 G 2 
 
 
fx THE FEAST 
 
 To make thy gift to the prince my mafter here at once. 
 
 According to Perfian cuftom. 
 
 Chr, Alk you for money, fir ? 
 
 P^. That is the Perfian cuftom. 
 
 Cifr, [afidi] Moft annoying this ! — 
 
 Sir, 1 will fend it you. 
 
 Fh. We would not trouble thee : 
 
 We'll wait, fir, while thou fetcheft it. 
 
 Chr. [afide] What in the world to do ? 
 
 Thefe Perfians have an uncommon fliarp eye to the main chance : 
 
 FU try one piece of gold if 'twill content him. — Sir, 
 
 Give this then to your mafter. 
 
 Fh, It will not fatisfy him. 
 
 For he is a potentate : but I will obey thee, fir. 
 
 Pam, TARTYS CHRiBOs! \jputs hand On f'U)ord.~\ 
 
 PL See, fir, he doth not like it. 
 
 Chr. Well, 
 
 I am but a poor man, but what is right Fll do. 
 
 See, here are four more pieces, and that is all I have. 
 
 And pray confider, firs, the mournful news you bring 
 
 Cannot be held of value, as joyful tidings might. Ogives.'] 
 
 [afide] I hope this may content them : 'tis not much. Menedemus 
 
 Will after all be fpared the expenfe of a funeral. 
 
 Pam, JOPISCO MORCA. 
 
 Ph. Sir, he is ftill but ill contented. 
 
 Chr. Then wait, firs. I'll go in and fetch you what I may. 
 
OFBACCHFS fj 
 
 Ph. We will await thee here. 
 
 Chr. \_aftde] FU go and find Menedemus. [exit'. 
 
 Ph. Now let's be off at once. 
 
 Pam. What fport ! O gods ! five pounds ! 
 
 He never made me fo handfome a prefent in all my life. 
 
 I've tried all kinds of dodges to fcrew coin out of him, 
 
 But I never could : and you've come round him twice to-day. 
 
 I'll arrange with you for fome more adventures of this fort. 
 
 Ph. Stay, 
 
 Half this is mine. 
 
 Pam, And welcome. 
 
 Enter Menedemus at back unperceived : he luatches them. 
 
 Ph. What made your governor 
 
 Tell all thofe lies ? 
 
 Pam. Juft like him. 
 
 Ph. Why fhould he pretend 
 
 To be Menedemus ? 
 
 Pam. Merely to meddle : befides no doubt 
 
 He was anxious about the money we cheated him of this morning. 
 
 He wiflies now he was off his bargain with Gorgo. 
 
 Ph. Ay. 
 
 He gave you a bleffmg this morning. 
 
 Pam. May the gods blefs him. 
 
 I love him at this moment. 
 
 Ph. Come, we muft be gone. 
 
 Pam. Hercules ! there is old Menedemus himfelf. Make halle ! 
 
f4- THE PEAS T 
 
 I hope he has not overheard us. 
 
 Ph, March by in good ftyle. 
 
 Fam. CHRYSNOTAPAROYS. 
 
 Fh. BO CHRYSNOTAPAROYS. 
 
 Men. Chryfnotaparoysl Whatever jargon is this ? 
 
 Queer-looking fellows too to be prowling about my houfe, 
 
 And talking of me. Some mafkers my neighbour Chremes hires 
 
 To honour the feaft of Bacchus. A ftupid vulgar fafliion, 
 
 This orientalifmg, in great vogue too, and ftill 
 
 Gains ground, I fear ; and this is one of the gaudy days. 
 
 *Tis well I did not accept his invitation to dine. 
 
 Mummery and tomfoolery ! Alas, I have been all day 
 
 More nervous and anxious than ever. I even thought this morning 
 
 I heard my poor fon's voice : fo certain I was that I ran 
 
 To the end of the garden and looked. — Surely I was either born 
 
 With a mind mofl: Angularly fenfible of grief, or elfe 
 
 The faying is not true that time is forrow's cure. 
 
 My forrow rather increafes upon me every day, 
 
 And the longer he is away the more do I yearn for him. 
 
 And mifs him. 
 
 Enter Chremes from Menedemm^ houfe, 
 
 Chr. [afide'] Why here he is, juft when Fd given him up. — 
 
 O Menedemus ! 
 
 Men, What is the matter } 
 
 Chr. Alas, Menedemus ! 
 
 Men. You frighten me, Chremes. 
 
OF BACCHUS 5^ 
 
 f7/^r. I've fought you everywhere. 
 
 Men. I had to go in the town. Is anything wrong ? 
 
 CJ^r, I came 
 
 To tell you how I had done you a fervice ^ light of heart, 
 
 Becaufe I had done you a fervice, knew you muft approve. 
 
 And did not doubt that you would repay me a little fum 
 
 I ventured on your behalf. 
 
 Men. Certainly, Chremes j well ? 
 
 C^r. I knew you would, but ftill I came to explain at once. 
 
 I fought for you in your garden in vain • and coming out. 
 
 Intending to go to your houfe, juft as I opened the gate, 
 
 Juft here, I met two foreigners ftrangely drefled. 
 
 Men. In white ? 
 
 Chr, You faw them ? 
 
 Men. A moment ago. Who are they ? 
 
 Chr. The elder one 
 
 Addrefled me in Perfian. 
 
 Men. In Perfian, did he ? What did he fay ? 
 
 Chr. V\\ tell you. When they faw me at your gate, coming out, 
 
 They thought moft naturally that I was you. 
 
 Men. I fee. 
 
 Chr. I did not undeceive them. 
 
 Men. They thought that you were me ? 
 
 Chr. They did. 
 
 Men. I have little doubt but that they are revellers. 
 
 Who knowing what you, Chremes, would call my folly, came 
 
^6 THE FEAST 
 
 To play fome pradical joke. They faid they were Perfians ? 
 
 C^r. Yes. 
 
 MeTf, With news of Clinia ? 
 
 CJifr. Yes. 
 
 Meu. This fort of impertinence 
 
 Provokes me, Chremes ; 'tis want of refped. Suppofe 1 am 
 
 Somewhat oldfafliioned, yet to be idly trifled with. 
 
 In a matter in which I feel fo deeply 
 
 Chr. Pray heaven you are right. 
 
 I did fufpe6l them myfelf at firft : but when they fpoke 
 
 Men, What did they fay ? 
 CJiff, I dare not tell you. 
 
 Men. You need not fear. 
 
 C^r. They faid your fon was dead. They faw him killed by a 
 prince. 
 
 In a battle at Chryfno Chryfno 
 
 Men. Chryfnotaparoys ? 
 
 C/?r, Ha ! is it a famous place ? 
 
 Men, I never heard of it, Chremes. 
 
 C^r, Then how did you know ? 
 
 Men, They were talking together as I came in. 
 
 Ci>r. That lliould convince you, & then the dying meflage he fent. 
 
 Men, What's that ? 
 
 Ckr, The tale you know. The old Corinthian widow, 
 
 Whofe daughter he was in love with 
 
 Men, Did they fay, may I afk, 
 
OFBACCHV'S ^7 
 
 All this in Perfian ? 
 
 Chr. One did : yes — but I confefs. 
 
 That in fpite of a few expreflions I was able to underftand, 
 
 I had to truft very much to the one that interpreted. 
 
 Men, But him I (liould underfland ? 
 
 Chr, I dont fay but what you might. 
 
 Men, It's forty years fmce I was in Perfia : but this I know. 
 
 That is not a Perfian drefs, and I think I ought to remember 
 
 At leaft the found of the language. If you could find thefe men 
 
 And fend them to me 
 
 Chr, I will. They promifed to wait for me. 
 
 They're not far off : I'll fetch them at once. 
 
 Men, Stay ! ere you go — 
 
 I wanted to tell you, Chremes ^ I have quite made up my mind 
 
 Concerning the girl : my duty is plain enough. 
 
 Chr, What is it ? 
 
 Men, To adopt her : for if my fon returns, to find her here 
 
 Vnder my care, protected and loved as I fliall love her. 
 
 Will be a bond between us to make him forget the paft, 
 
 My harfhnefs and all • while fliould he be killed or die abroad, — 
 
 Which God forbid, — or never return, I have then no heir. 
 
 And the only confolation remaining to me in the world 
 
 Is the loving her, whom he would have made my daughter, & whorri 
 
 I fhall love like him. 
 
 Chr, You wont. 
 
 Men, Why not ? 
 
58 THE FEAST 
 
 Chr. I fhall convince you 
 
 That you will do nothing of the fort. 
 
 Men, Why not ? 
 
 Chr, You wouldnt afk. 
 
 If you only knew what a creature flie is. 
 
 Men^ You know her } 
 
 Chr. Ay, 
 
 Men, But how ? You never told me. 
 
 Chr, She is fpending the day at my houfe* 
 
 *Twas this I was coming to tell you about, but the other matter 
 
 Had driven it out of my head. I thought to difcover for you 
 
 (Seeing you did not know) what kind of perfon flie was ; 
 
 That I might judge and tell you, whether you moft were wrong 
 
 In being at firft fo harfh to your fon, or now to yourfelf. 
 
 So I alked her to fpend the day at my houfe. It has ended in this, 
 
 That when I faw what kind of woman llie really was^ 
 
 I offered her forty pounds if flie would renounce your fon. 
 
 Believe me, flie jumped at the bargain • fo then, to prevent millake, 
 
 I made her fign a paper to that effed. I hold it. 
 
 It cofl: me forty pounds • and that's the money I faid, 
 
 That I had advanced for you. 
 
 Men, ''Twas very kind of you, Chremes. 
 
 You fee I am fliocked. 
 
 Chr, Nay, dont give way. 
 
 Men, You have dafl^ied my hope. 
 
 I was not prepared for this. Freeborn I knew flie was not ; 
 
OF B A C C HV S 5^ 
 
 But this I never fufpeded. 
 
 Chr, Come to my houfe and fee. 
 
 I wifh you to judge for yourfelf. 
 
 Men. She is there ? 
 
 Chr. She is there, do you af k ? 
 
 Ay, to my cofl: Ihe is there. No fooner flie comes to the door^ 
 
 Than all is to be topfy turvy. She calls me *old man' ! 
 
 Af ks if the bath is ready, and prefently calls for winev 
 
 She'll take a 'whetting brufher', fhe fays. The quantity 
 
 She wafted in merely tafting was more than moft men drink. 
 
 She kept me an hour on my legs before fhe was pleafed, and then 
 
 Drank like a fifh, and laughed at nothing and everything. 
 
 Had it not been for you, Menedemus, I promife you 
 
 I could not have ftood it. 
 
 Men. I feel extremely obliged to you. 
 
 And forry for this. You've been moft friendly in all you've done* 
 
 I cannot doubt you are right. But ftill whatever fhe is, 
 
 I'd like to fee her once. I cant dine with you ; — arrange 
 
 To fend her acrofs to me. Explain to her who I am j 
 
 And let me judge for myfelf if it is fo impolTible 
 
 To carry out my former intention as you believe. 
 
 Chr. By all means. I fhall be glad enough to be rid of her* 
 
 I go at once. 
 
 Men, And find thofe Perfians, whoever they are. 
 
 Chr. Indeed I muft. For either I was groflly deceived 
 
 In a manner I cannot believe, — I gave them money too— 
 
 H a 
 
66 THE F E A ST 
 
 Or elfe— 
 
 Men. Well, lofe no time, I pray : I am lefs at eafe 
 
 In the matter, than when you told me firft. 
 
 Chr, Indeed 
 
 I fear you have caufe : I'll go at once. Farewell, \exit.'] 
 
 Men, Farewell. 
 
 A filly hoax no doubt. I wifli 'twere half as likely 
 
 That Chremes was wrong about the girl. It is very ftrange 
 
 That he fliould all of a fudden take fuch intereft 
 
 In my aJBFairs. I think he's a little meddlefome, 
 
 With all his kindnefs and thought. But that's the way of the 
 
 world. [exit. 
 
 Enter Chremes ^ Famphilus, 
 
 Chr, See Gorgo at once, I fay, and get it back if you can. 
 
 Fam. Why, father ? 
 
 Chr, I'll tell you. Clinia your friend is dead. 
 
 Fam. Impoflible. 
 
 Chr, No. I have feen two Perfians juft arrived. 
 
 Who fay he was flain in battle. 
 
 Fam, Does old Menedemus know ? 
 
 Chr, He does. 
 
 Fam, And how does he take it ? 
 
 Chr. Why ? How ihould he take it ? 
 
 Fam. How fliould I know ? The crofs old hunks. 
 
 Chr, Stop, Pamphilus, 
 
 You wrong him • he's diftraded : and now in confequence, 
 
OFBACCHVS 6i 
 
 He has made up his mind to adopt that woman. 
 
 Pam. Gorgo ? 
 
 C^r. Yes. 
 
 How can you laugh ? 
 
 Pam, Well, if he adopts her, what's the ufe 
 
 Of alking her for the money now ? Menedemus will pay. 
 
 Chr, You do, pleafe, as I fay. Of courfe it's impoffible 
 
 To adopt her : I intimated to him as much, but ftill 
 
 He wants to judge for himfelf. I promifed to fend her to him. 
 
 As foon as the ladies return from the bath explain this to her. 
 
 And take her acrofs ; at leaft if I'm not back from town. 
 
 Pam. You go to the town ? 
 
 Chr. I have promifed to bring thefe Perfians back ; 
 
 We wifh to eftablifli the news they brought. They half engaged 
 
 To await me here, but it feems they are gone. 
 
 Pam, Can I go for you ? 
 
 Chr. Ay, ay. Yet no. lajicle] Nay, I fliall have to explain to them 
 
 That I am not Menedemus. — I fear I muft go myfelf. 
 
 I think I fliall not be long. You do as I told you, pleafe; 
 
 And tell your mother where I am gone. 
 
 Pam, I hope you'll find them. 
 
 Chr. I fhant come back without 'em. [exit.'] 
 
 Pam. [aftde] Goodbye then, dad, for. ever ! 
 
 End of AH the Third. 
 
«i 
 
 THE FEAST 
 
 AB the Fourth, 
 
 Famphilus & Clinia, 
 
 Pam, 'Tis fimply ruin, Clinia ; pray come back at once* 
 Do wait till after dinner. 
 Clin, I couldnt. 
 
 Fam, The governor 
 
 Will fmoke it all if you go : 'twill break our party up^ 
 Clin, My father thinks I am killed. 
 
 Fam, What matter fo you're not ? 
 
 Clin, Then if I were, you'd think it my duty to undeceive him ? 
 Fam. You^re moft ungrateful. 
 
 Clin, Nay indeed, good Pamphilus, 
 
 I am much obliged for all your kindnefs ; I fay fo again. 
 But this I told you exprefHy I did not wilh. 
 Fam, You've got 
 
 More than you ever hoped. Antiphila here : your father 
 
OFBACCHyS dj 
 
 Brought nicely round : and all through my good management. 
 
 And now you'll throw me over for want of a little patience. 
 
 C//». To be free with you, I do not like being half drawn in, as I 
 
 am. 
 To tricking your father of fifty pounds, Befides I am here 
 Vnder a falfe name, as his gueft. Antiphila too 
 Is pafling off for fomebody elfe, I know not who ; 
 While you and Philolaches have deceived your father and mine, 
 In a way I cannot be party to. 
 
 Pam, Wait. Here comes my father, 
 
 ril Ihow you now what kind of a temper 1 rifk for you. 
 
 Enter Chr ernes from town* 
 
 Chr. When ! back at laft. When, when ! my word ! as hot as hot ! 
 
 When ! bah ! and all this worry and flurry for nothing : wheu I 
 
 1 am covered and choked with dull. I willi moft heartily 
 
 Thefe Perfians had found their grave at Chryfnotaparoys. 
 
 1 vow that the famous army of Xerxes never gave 
 
 Such trouble to brave Miltiades at Marathon, 
 
 As thefe two rafcally flinkers have given to me. Wheu ! wheu I 
 
 Fam. [advancing] Have you not found them, father ? 
 
 Chr» If I have found them ? No, 
 
 I went to the port ; the fliip I found there fure enough, 
 
 But I could not hear of them. A fmgle paflenger. 
 
 They faid, had landed ; and he was a Greek. I enquired befides 
 
 At all the houfes along the road : there was not a man. 
 
 Who had even fo much as feen them. 
 
64. THE ¥E A ST 
 
 Sojirata [yjtthin'] Chremes ! Chremes ! 
 
 Chr, Ah ! 
 
 Enter SoHrata from Chremes' houfe* 
 
 SoB. O hulband ! hufband ! 
 
 Chr. O wife ! wife ! 
 
 SoB, She is found, Ihe is found ! 
 
 Chr, Who's found ? 
 
 SoH. Our daughter, our long-loft daughter is found. 
 
 Chr, What now ? 
 
 Soft. Look, this is the necklace, this the ring. 
 
 Chr. Why, what d'ye mean ? 
 
 SoH. See, hufband, if you remember them • they're the very fame 
 
 Our daughter Antiphila wore, the day fhe was ftolen. 
 
 Chr, Hey ! 
 
 What's this ? 
 
 Soft. I knew them at once. 
 
 Chr. Then tell me at once, good wife, 
 
 When, how, and where did you find them ? 
 
 SoB. The girl that Gorgo brought 
 
 Wore them. 1 knew them at once : and when I heard her name... 
 
 Chr, Antiphila ? 
 
 SoB, Yes, Antiphila. 
 
 Chr. Quite fo. You heard the name. 
 
 That made you think this girl our daughter : I'll wager my life 
 
 She's no fuch thing. 'Tis unfuppofable. 
 
 SoB. Deareft hufband, 
 
OFBACCHVS 6f 
 
 I always knew we fliould find her : I've faid fo a thoufand times. 
 
 Chr» Oh yes ! you always knew beforehand of everything 
 
 After it happened, wife : there's nothing could occur 
 
 But you would tell me you told me before. And yet this time 
 
 Do not be wife too foon. , 
 
 So0, Why, here's the ring itfelf. 
 
 The necklace and the name. 
 
 C^r. The name is a com.mon name, 
 
 And rings and necklaces too are made fo much alike, 
 
 They're nothing to go by. 
 
 Soff. Then I have fpoken with her, Chremes, 
 
 And file is fo like her : — 
 
 C^r, Hey ! here's fine proof indeed , 
 
 Juil think for once now what you have faid. You recognife 
 
 In a grown-up lady, you fay, the baby you have never {een 
 
 Since flie was three ! Why even fuppofmg flie was not changed 
 
 In all thefe fifteen years, could you remember her 
 
 So long ? 
 
 SoB. But file is my daughter : that makes the difference. 
 
 Chr, Why that's the very queflion. Is flie ? And if fhe was, 
 
 What difference could it make ? But if you have fpoken with her. 
 
 Where does Ihe fay fhe comes from ? 
 
 Soff. She fays flie lives in the town 
 
 With an old Corinthian widow 
 
 Chr, I know : the mother of Gorgo. 
 
 They live together, do they ? Then jufl fend Gorgo here. 
 
66 THE FEAST 
 
 Soft. Indeed fhe has nothing to do with Gorgo. 
 
 Chr, According to that 
 
 There are two Corinthian widows. 
 
 SoB, Two ? 
 
 Chr, Why not ? I fuppofe 
 
 There muft be two, unlefs it's the same. 
 
 Sofi, But who is the other ? 
 
 Chr, There ifnt another at all. Bring Gorgo here at once. 
 
 She'll know enough of the fadbs to fet this matter at reft. 
 
 SoB, Why Chremes 
 
 Chr, I fay, fetch Gorgo. 
 
 SoB, ^ I.aflure you, Chremes dear 
 
 Qhr. Do go and fetch her, wife. 
 
 SoB, Well, as you will 
 
 Chr, Of courfe. 
 
 Do I ever exprefs an opinion, ifllie a command. 
 
 Without an ample reafon ? [_extt Sofirata.'] 'Twould be ftrange ! 
 
 [to Fam,'] Now, fir. 
 Had you not heard of this ? 
 Tam. No, father. 
 
 Chr, And there you ftand. 
 
 As dull as a fifli ! Why what will you think, if this be true^ 
 Of finding a fifter ? 
 
 Fam. Sir, you wiflied me a happy day. 
 
 As nothing was more unlooked for, nothing is happier 
 In the world than this. 
 
OF BACCHUS 6-j 
 
 Chr. Yet there's your friend, a perfe(!i ftranger. 
 
 Is far more moved than you. You go to the play, I know : 
 
 Fifty per cent of all our attic comedies 
 
 Have this fame plot, a daughter ftolen in early years, 
 
 Loft fight of, defpaired of, almoft forgotten and then at laft, 
 
 When leaft expeded — although there's scarce a foul in the houfe 
 
 That does not know or guefs it beforehand — file reappears. 
 
 Then are not all eyes wet ? Why that is the art, which makes 
 
 Emotion and felJs it to fools at market price. 
 
 You have pitied the child, have pidured the thoufand poffible ills 
 
 She may have encountered, hardfliips of body and mind, ncgled:. 
 
 The injuries and privations of llavery, wrongs and blows ; 
 
 The lack of all that care, to which, in a mother's love. 
 
 The meaneft birth is titled, without which even brutes 
 
 Perifli for lack of inftind : the tendernefs of fex 
 
 You have thought of; her innocence, the fnares of a mercilefs world 
 
 For the unproteded, and then this pidure you contraft 
 
 With the comfortable, genteel home the fcene prefents. 
 
 You feel for the parents then — ay, though fome ridicule 
 
 Be faftened upon them ^ 'tis by fuch touches of fleili and blood 
 
 The life comes home to your heart, & while you are made to fmile, 
 
 You weep. You have paid for the tear, or if your falfe fliame 
 
 Forbids you to fliew your feeling, you've bought a lump in the throat. 
 
 You praife the play, becaufe 'tis a tender fituation. 
 
 Enough to ftir the blood of a crocodile like yourfdf : 
 
 I catch you weeping — flap ! all's changed ! 'Tis not a play : 
 
 I 2 
 
6% THE F E A ST 
 
 The ftage is your home, the adors your father and mother, 
 
 Your own filler is found, and where^'s your feeling now ? — 
 
 I think your heart is made of matting ! Your friend, I fay, 
 
 Is far more moved : I fee the tears ftand in his eyes. 
 
 Clin. 'Tis joy. I wifli you joy, fir. I wifh your daughter joy. 
 
 And, may I fay it, your bappinefs brings happinefs to me. 
 
 Chr, I thank you, Clitipho, but now we go too faft : 
 
 Becaufe I dont at all fuppofe this is my daughter. 
 
 Ho ! Gorgo ! where's Gorgo ? [^goes to door.'] 
 
 Clin, [to Pam.'] O Pamphilus, 1 am in heaven : 
 
 For if Antiphila really be your fifter, then 
 
 My father cannot oppofe our marriage. 
 
 Pam, No more will mine. 
 
 ^Twill make him as proud as a peacock. 
 
 Clin. Sweeteft Antiphila. 
 
 Pam. Quite fo : but what in the world do you think will happen 
 
 to me. 
 When he finds out ? 
 
 Clin. Oh, I have attained the life of the gods ! 
 
 Pam. Go on. You will not tell me now I have done too much f 
 Clin. Oh no : I forgive it all. 
 Pam. Forgive it ? 
 
 Clin. I thank you for it. 
 
 Pam. I fliall need more than thanks. 
 Clin. O Pamphilus, anything. 
 
 What can I give you ? 
 
OFBACCHFS 6^ 
 
 Pam, Liften. If things go well with yoii. 
 
 They're not fo fmart with me : and if you wifli to help me, 
 
 I only fee one hope. 
 
 C/m, What's that? 
 
 Pam. That you fliould win 
 
 Your father to plead for me : after all I have done for him, 
 
 I think he might : and if you afk him, I am fure he will. 
 
 Concealment is out of the queftion : go to him now at oncCj 
 
 And tell him all. 
 
 Clin. Indeed I was going, but may I not fee 
 
 Antiphila firft ? 
 
 Pam, No, no, there's not a moment to lofe. 
 
 The governor will be back, and if he finds you out. 
 
 You'll have to go to your ftither with him, and what a tale 
 
 He'll tell it's eafy to guefs. 
 
 elm, I would not confent to that. 
 
 I'll go at once. 
 
 Pam, Go quickly, before that Gorgo comes. 
 
 Quick ! quick ! \jxh ClimaJ] 
 
 And juft in time. I wonder what flie will fay. 
 C/?r. [at the door to Gorgo,'] I want you a moment, Gorgo. 
 
 Enter Gorgo ^ Chremes luith Sojirata, 
 
 Prithee, be fo good 
 As to anfwer my queftions. This girl Antiphila, 
 Who came with you, is your maid ? Dont look at my fon 6c laugh. 
 I am ferious. Is this girl your fervant ? 
 
70 THE F E A ST 
 
 Gor. No. 
 
 Chr, She is not ? 
 
 She lives with you ? 
 
 Gor. ' No. 
 
 C^r, I thought you lived with the widow woman, 
 
 Who came from Corinth. Pray be fober. I want to know. 
 
 You told me you did. 
 
 Gor, Ay, fir. 
 
 CAr. And yet Antiphila 
 
 Does not live with you ? 
 
 Gor, No, fir. 
 
 Chr. When did you fee her firft ? 
 
 Gor. This morning. 
 
 C^r. Indeed. And can you tell me nothing about- her ? 
 
 Gor. Nothing whatever. 
 
 C^r. I thank you. I've nothing to afk you then. 
 
 Gor. It's thank you for nothing, fir ! No further commands at 
 
 prefent ? 
 C^r. Peace, prithee, peace. 
 
 [to Sojlrata.'] Now, wife, you fee I was right for once. 
 Gorgo knows nothing about her. 
 
 Soft. I told you fhe didnt, Chremes. 
 
 Chr. But then you faid flie lived with the widow. You fee fhe 
 
 doefnt. 
 And Gorgo does. 
 SoB. I cant believe it. Antiphila told me 
 
OFBACCHVS 71 
 
 The widow's name , and then the very clothes fhe wore 
 
 The day flie was ftolen, flie has laid by. 
 
 Chr. , Eh ! faid flie fo]? 
 
 Then you fliould have fenf for the woman, told her to bring the 
 
 clothes. 
 SoB, So, Chremes, 1 did, but the poor old lady^'s too ill to come : 
 But the clothes were fent. I have feen them. 
 Chr. And are they the fame ? 
 
 SoH. They are. 
 
 Chr* Why then did you not fpare me all this trouble, wife ? 
 Why did you not tell me before of the clothes ? 
 SoH, You would not hear I 
 
 Chr. Not hear ! when all this time I was afking you this & that. 
 Ye gods ! have ye never made one reafonable woman ? 
 Dont you fee that the clothes are the chiefeft matter of all ? 
 Why, they're a proof. 
 SoB. Then do you believe ? 
 
 Chr. Ay, wife, come in. 
 
 I think we have found our daughter, [exeunt Soft, & Chr.'] 
 Gor. Oho ! ho ! ho ! O he does make me laugh. 
 
 And when he finds all out, the filly old man, at laft. 
 How I fliall love to fee him ! 
 
 Pam. Indeed you muft not ftay. 
 
 Gor. Why not ? 
 
 Pam. Why dont you fee how mad he'll be ? 
 
 Gor. He will. 
 
-Ji THE FEAST 
 
 Tarn, He'll want that forty pounds. 
 
 Gor, He may want. 
 
 Vam, I am afraid 
 
 You cannot keep it. 
 
 Gov, I not keep it ? What ! d'ye think 
 
 I'd give it him back ? 
 
 Vam. I think you had better make fure of it. 
 
 Take my advice and go. 
 
 Gor, I am forry to go^ and yet 
 
 What fliould I flay for now } There'll be no dinner. 
 
 Vam, No. 
 
 That there wont. 
 
 Gor, Well, make my excufes, and give your father 
 
 My kind congratulations. 
 
 Vam, Go. 
 
 Gor. With the fame to you, 
 
 Antiphila's quite a dove. ! 
 
 Vam, Do go. 
 
 Gor. Goodbye, my lad. 
 
 It's wifefl to go, I fee : but if the old man fliould afk 
 
 Where I am gone to 
 
 Vam, Well ? 
 
 Qfor. Why tell him I'm gone to fpend 
 
 His forty pounds in the town. Ta ta ! {exttr\ 
 
 Fam, I think that woman 
 
 Has done for me. Thank the gods flie is gone and juft in time j 
 
OFBACCHyS 73 
 
 Here fomebody comes from the houfe. 
 
 Enter F hi lo laches from Chr ernes* houfe, 
 
 Vh> O Pamphilus, make oflF, 
 
 Your father is looking to find you. 
 
 Vam, He's found us out of courfe } 
 
 Fh, He has guelTed who Gorgo is , but ftill is quite in the dark. 
 
 He ftill imagines Clinia flain and torn to bits 
 
 On the plains of what d'ye call it. — 
 
 Fam. What is beft to do ? 
 
 Ph. Nothing. Let him rave it out. The quicker he heats. 
 
 The quicker he'll cool. 
 
 Pam, But if you had ever feen him angry 
 
 Ph, Dont be afraid. 
 
 Pam. I am. 
 
 Ph. Throw all the blame on me. 
 
 Pam, 1 hear him. 
 
 Enter Chremes^ peaking as he comes out to So fir at a within, 
 Chr. It's high time, wife, you ftopped this precious noife. 
 
 Deafening the gods with fmging all your confounded praifes 
 For finding your daughter. You judge them by yourfelf perhaps. 
 And think they cant underftand a fimple thing, unlefs 
 It's told them a hundred times. 
 
 [to Pam.] Now, fir, 'tis you I want. 
 Come here. 
 Pam. What, father ? 
 
74 THE FEAST 
 
 Chr. What, father ? As innocent 
 
 As milk, no doubt. You think it's poflible I do not know ? 
 
 I'll tell you what : to-day I have found a daughter, fir. 
 
 And loft a fon. Begone and take your Gorgo with you j 
 
 For I'll not own you longer. Be off. Go where you will : 
 
 But fee you ne'er fet foot beneath my roof again. 
 
 Tarn. Father, what do you mean ? What have I done ? 
 
 Chr. You dare 
 
 Alk ! If I tell you now that you are a reprobate. 
 
 An idle, diffipated, licentious, fpendthrift fellow : — 
 
 Is that enough ? 
 
 Pam. O father ! 
 
 Chr. Or if I add the reft, 
 
 A mean, deceitful, undutifiil, fnivelling, fneaking cheat j 
 
 A liar. 
 
 Fam. Oh, I am not. 
 
 Chr. Well, you deny it, do you ? 
 
 I'll afk you is this true or not. You found that I, 
 
 With a view to help our neighbour, wiflied to fee the girl 
 
 That got his fon into trouble. You undertook to bring her. 
 
 I ti ufted you wholly, could not exped to be played on by you : 
 
 You knew her, and I did not, had never heard her name j 
 
 And this you knew, and took occafion to introduce 
 
 A difterent perfon altogether, a friend of your own, 
 
 A woman whofe very prefence was an infult ^ and not content 
 
 With abuling my confidence and kindnefs, my fheer difguft 
 
OFBACCHVS 75 
 
 You turned to your own account, and fo, on a mock pretence 
 
 Of doing my neighbour a wonderful fervice, made me pay 
 
 I dont know what. You blinded me, & robbed me, & all the while 
 
 'Twas your vile miftrefs I was entertaining for you, 
 
 And paying out of my pocket for nothing. Is that not true ? 
 
 Was it not enough to have this creature fit down to dine 
 
 With your mother & me ? ay, and with your fifter ? and as for her^ 
 
 You have been the means of afperfmg her character. 
 
 The day when (lie is reflored to the family. Yes, 'tis flie 
 
 Is the lady in queftion, and I have been running here and there 
 
 To diffame my own daughter to my neighbour, and thanks to you 
 
 Have been a pretty fool ! And if his fon returns, — 
 
 For now I am fo confufed that whether he's living or dead 
 
 I have not a notion, — but if, I fay, he fliould return. 
 
 And afk Antiphila's hand, would then Menedemus believe 
 
 That I did not tell him the truth before I knew any caufe 
 
 To wifli for one thing more than another ? I fay be off. 
 
 Afk me what you've done ? A treafure of innocence 
 
 You are ! Begone. I'll never fee you again. Begone. 
 
 Th, For patience fake, one word from me, fir ! Pamphilus 
 
 Was not fo much in fault ; I am the one to blame : 
 
 He truly intended to introduce Antiphila j 
 
 And I was fent to fetch her : but when it appeared her friends 
 
 Would not confent to allow that you fhould interfere 
 
 Between Menedemus and her, then, on the fpur of the moment. 
 
 The ladies were changed and that at my fuggeftion, fir. 
 
 K 2 
 
^6 THE F E A ST 
 
 Chr, I interfere, you fay ? 'Tis you that interfere, 
 I think. Pray hold your tongue ; or if you wifli to advife, 
 Advife your friend again : he needs it more than I- 
 Maybe he'll thank you for it. I neither afk nor want it. 
 
 Enter Softrata, 
 
 [to Pam.'] To you, fir, I have no more to add. Begone at once. 
 
 'Twill fpare your fifter pain if flie fliould never know you • 
 
 Not that there's aught to lofe. Now if there's anything 
 
 You want in the houfe, go in at once and fetch it. Look, 
 
 I'll give you half an hour. 
 
 SoB, Chremes, what are you faying ? 
 
 Chr. I have only faid, wife, what I told you : and you may now 
 
 Bid your dear Pamphilus goodbye. 
 
 SoB. How cruel you are ! 
 
 Do you wifli to kill your fon ? You'll certainly be his death, 
 
 Vnlefs you mind. I wonder how anything fo wicked 
 
 Could have come into your head. 
 
 Chr. Oh, will you never learn 
 
 To keep your place, woman ? Was there ever a thing 
 
 Which I ever propofed or did in my whole life, in which 
 
 You did not go againft me ? But fhould I afk you now 
 
 What wrong I am doing, or why I do the thing I do. 
 
 You would not know : you could not tell me anything 
 
 Of the matter in which fo confidently you oppofe me. Fool I 
 
 Soff. I do not know ? 
 
 CJlfr Well, well, you do know. Anything 
 
OF B A C C HV S 77 
 
 Rather than have it all over again. 
 
 SoB, How iniquitous of you. 
 
 To prevent my fpeaking in fuch a matter. 
 
 Chr, I dont prevent you. 
 
 Go on. Talk yourfelf hoarfe. [exitr\ 
 
 Pam, Mother, what fhall I do ? 
 
 SoB. What did he fay ? 
 
 Pam» He fays he difowns me. 
 
 Soft, Dont give way. 
 
 He is angry now : I know he'll foon be kind again. 
 
 Fh, Quite fo, madam, a father's threats are nothing to fean 
 
 Pam, I'm glad you think fo. 
 
 Ph, Dont be angry with me, Pam ! 
 
 I've got you into a mefs, but if you'll truft to me, 
 
 I'll get you out. 
 
 Soft. How kind of you, Mr Philogelos. 
 
 Ph. Take my advice and hide. Pretend you have run away. 
 
 I'll fay you've failed to the Perfian wars in Clinia's Ihip. 
 
 And when your father finds that Clinia is safe, and he 
 
 Demands Antiphila's hand, the reft will be all forgotten. 
 
 Soft, Is Antiphila to marry Clinia } 
 
 Ph. Yes, ma'am. 
 
 Soft. Menedemus' fon, 
 
 That ran away ? 
 
 Pk, Yes, ma'am. 
 
 SoH, Why Chremes faid he was killed. 
 
87 THE F E A ST 
 
 Vh, It's all a miftake j you've fpoken to him to-day yourfelf. 
 
 He is Clitipho. 
 
 SoH, O dear, I muft tell Chremes this. 
 
 How glad I am. 
 
 Vh, Stay, madam, ftay ; I pray you wont. 
 
 Your hufband will find that out quite foon enough for us. 
 
 Far better fee M^nedemus, if he will help us out. 
 
 Soil, What could he do ? 
 
 Vk, He'll ftand our friend. How could he wifli 
 
 To fee Antiphila's bi other driven difgraced from heme ? 
 
 SoH. Go, Pamphilus, go at once. 
 
 'Bam, Clinia is there. I will. 
 
 SoH, And can I then tell Chremes ? 
 
 Vh, Madam, confider this. 
 
 He wont believe you, and after will only be angry with you 
 
 For knowing it firft, and being in the right when he was wrong, 
 
 SoH 'Tis all fo itrange, that really and truly I dont suppofe 
 
 That anyone would believe it. It may be beft to wait. 
 
 But you (liould wafte no time, Pamphilus j go at once. 
 
 Vam, I go, but do not tell him, where I am gone. 
 
 SoH, No, fon. {exit Fam, 
 
 I'll do my beft to win him. — [to Fh,'] I thank you, fir, very kindly. 
 
 Fh, I wifh you good fuccefs. [exit Sojirata, 
 
 A fenfible body. I lean 
 On her and old Menedemus. Not that I doubt myfelf ^ 
 I know a ftroke to play : is't not the feaft of Bacchus ? 
 
OFBACCHrS 7p 
 
 1 will invoke the god; his genius will confound 
 
 This dull, contrary Chremes. What's his humour worth 
 
 To gods or men, that I iliould bow to it ? Nay, and fince 
 
 Whatever the humour be, 'tis the perfiftency 
 
 That carries it ; to hell with dumps ! And 'twere poor merriment 
 
 That Chremes' frown could dalh. Why if there be a choice 
 
 'Twixt Chremes pleafed and Chremes angry, of the two 
 
 This later, angry Chremes is the more ridiculous. 
 
 Eft J of A 61 the Fourth. 
 
8o 
 
 THE FEAST 
 
 t^?^sx::s:x:siZ^rs^^^^ 
 
 A^ the Fifth. 
 
 Menedemm ^ Clinia. 
 
 Men. You have made me, my dear Clinia, the very happieft of 
 
 fathers. 
 By this return to your fenfes ; indeed I ran great rilk 
 Of taking leave of my own : but fmce I have you back^ 
 'Tis nothing but happinefs : and gladly I now confent 
 To the match, which hitherto in your own intereft 
 I have only oppofed because I would not have you marry 
 A woman not freeborn. To be fure I could have wiflied 
 'Twas fomebody elfe's daughter than Chremes'. After all 
 It might be worfe. But are you fure you hold to it ftill. 
 And wifli to marry her ? 
 
 Chr, 1, father ? How can you alk ? 
 
 Men. You are young to marry ; but, mind, I fliould not make your 
 
 age 
 An objedion, provided I thought you knew what marriage is. 
 But do you, can you know ? You have only experience 
 
OFBACCHVS 8l 
 
 Of childhood, and fome few years of youthful liberty : 
 
 What can that teach ? Your tie to me — your friendfhips. 
 
 Some intimate friendfliips too : but nothing here nor there 
 
 Comparable to the bond of marriage. Suppose I fay 
 
 ^Tis, next to existence, the moft familiar thing in the world — 
 
 Then judge how jealous pride and felfregard fliould be. 
 
 Ere they fubmit this mafter circumftance to rule. 
 
 As rule it muft. You know the ftory Plato tells 
 
 Of Er, the Armenian foldier, and what he faw in death. 
 
 Permitted to fiand between the gates of heaven and hell ; 
 
 How there he faw the fouls, who, ere they came on earth. 
 
 Were choofmg each their lives in turn — and, what was ftrange. 
 
 How wantonly and without deliberation they chofe, 
 
 Making a rufli at what they fancied firft : and this. 
 
 So Plato faid, explained man's difcontent on earth. 
 
 His mifeiy being his fault. All which, be it fable or no, 
 
 Clinia, has this much truth ; that you may fee the like 
 
 Without going down to the grave, nor any revelation 
 
 Of nature's fecrefies — but every day on earth, 
 
 In men that wive. With them the ftake is no lefs great ; 
 
 Their carelefsnefs in choice, their after-difcontent 
 
 Match each in kind. Now I would play the interpreter 
 
 To you, as fome celeftial did to Er : 1 warn you, 
 
 Take not this ftep in hafte. You choofe a fecond being ; 
 
 The lives are ftrewn before you : is this the beft to take ? 
 
 C/in. O if you knew Antiphila, father, you would not afk. 
 
8a TH E FE A ST 
 
 Men. Very well. I fee your choice is made. 1 only wifli 
 
 She did not drink. 
 
 Clin. O father ! you know — 
 
 Men. Yes, yes. 1 know. 
 
 What a number of fad miilakes Chremes has made to-day ! 
 
 He has not difcovered yet who the two Perfians were. 
 
 Who came to frighten me. 
 
 Clin. I hope I need not tell you, father, 
 
 I never wifhed that done. 1 feared you might be grieved : 
 
 But Chremes being fo fure you never would forgive me 
 
 Men. Was he ? 
 
 Clin, He faid you told him. 
 
 Men. Did he ? He has been to blame. 
 
 There's much he will have to explain to me, which he will not wifti 
 
 Another to hear. Retire to the garden, while 1 go 
 
 And fmooth things over with him, and afk his daughter's hand. 
 
 Clin. How long } 
 
 Men. Well, if I fend, be ready at once to come : 
 
 And fee that Pamphilus too is handy : explain to him. 
 
 That if I can be happy enough to make his peace with his father. 
 
 His prefence will then be needed. 
 
 Clin. I hope 'twill not be long. [exit. 
 
 Men. I am not very wife myfelf nor clever, that I know : 
 
 And I may have behaved in a manner open to criticism, 
 
 I may have even provoked derifion, that may be ; 
 
 I think I have. But this fame would-be helper of mine. 
 
OF B A c c ny s 8? 
 
 My counfellor and guide, Chremes, is very far beyond me • 
 
 I never did anything half fo foolifli in all my life 
 
 As to trull my fecrets to him. In time now. Here he comes. 
 
 Enter Chremes. 
 Chr, Ah, my good Menedemus, now I have news indeed. 
 Men. I know it, Chremes, and give you my hearty congratulations. 
 *Tis a happy day for us both : for you have found a daughter. 
 
 And I 
 
 Chr» You know it already ? Who told you ? 
 
 Men, My fon. 
 
 Chr. Your fon! 
 
 Men, Clinia. Yes. He is in my houfe. I was coming acrofs 
 
 To afk you to join your treafure fo newly found with mine • 
 
 And to give your daughter to-day to my fon in marriage. 
 
 Chr. Well ! 
 
 I cannot underftand it. Where did he come from ? When ? 
 
 Men. Why that's the ftrangeft of all : he landed only this morning. 
 
 Met your fon in the town, and has been in your houfe 
 
 Ever fmce. 
 
 Chr. My houfe ? 
 
 Men, It feems your fon is a friend of his : 
 
 He introduced him, but under another name, becaufe 
 
 He did not wifh to be known. 
 
 Chr. Not Clitipho ? 
 
 Men. Ay, 'twas that. [right 
 
 Chr, There then ! O how I have been deceived ! And you were 
 
 La 
 
8+ THE F E A ST 
 
 About the Perfians too : they were a make-believe. 
 
 Men. So I gueffed all along, Chremes. 
 
 Chr, But who then were they ? 
 
 Men. Forgive me, my good friend, I alk you once for all, 
 
 The annoyance my family affairs have been to you to-day. 
 
 Your kindnefs has brought you only vexation. 
 
 Chr, O5 I am fure 
 
 You are welcome enough to any fervice that I can render. 
 
 Men, Then pray oblige me in this, and overlook the folly 
 
 Of the a6lors in this farce. The intention was to deceive 
 
 Me and not you : till you accidentally, as it feems. 
 
 Came in their way : and then they could not help themfelves : 
 
 They even tried to avoid you. 
 
 Chr. Who were they ? 
 
 Men. Remember too 
 
 ^Tis the feaft of Bacchus to-day : 'tis not fo great a crime 
 
 To droll on a private perfon, at a time that is fet apart 
 
 For mirth and jollity, and when buffoonery too makes up 
 
 A part of the feflival. 
 
 Chr. I think no gentleman 
 
 So uld fuffer buffoonery to cover an infult. 
 
 Men. Suppofing not, 
 
 Yet none was intended. 
 
 Chr. Who were they } 
 
 Men. The deceit was planned for me. 
 
 And I forgive it. 
 
OF B A C C HV S 85 
 
 Chr, Who were they ? 
 
 Men, They came from your houfe. 
 
 Chr, Not Clinia ? 
 
 Men. No • although it was done in his intereft. 
 
 Your fon was one, and a friend 
 
 Chr» I know : Philolaches. 
 
 I fee. 
 
 Men, It feems they had drawn from you, I know not how. 
 
 Somewhat too harfli a pi<5ture of me : fo 'twas refolved 
 
 To put me to proof. 
 
 Chr, Menedemus, fince 'twas my own fon, 
 
 It does not matter • for now my account with him is clofed. 
 
 Men, What fay you ? 
 
 Chr, Well, never mind. He is now no more my fon. 
 
 O Menedemus, indeed he has treated me fliamefully. 
 
 This morning I thought your fon had aded ill by you : 
 
 How willingly now I'd change. 
 
 Men, You make too much of it. 
 
 No harm was meant ^ and none has been done : a foolilh hoax. 
 
 And nothing more. 
 
 Chr, You cannot hope to perfuade me now 
 
 There is any excufe for a fon deceiving his own father. 
 
 Men, I think a father would find one, Chremes, where there was 
 
 none. 
 Chr, Nay, nay : no more of him. I underftood you came 
 About my daughter. 
 
%6 THE FEAST 
 
 Men. I did. Clinia afks her hand. 
 
 Chr. You know {lie is not that woman they made me think 
 
 Men. I know. 
 
 Chr. Menedemus, I never wifhed to have a daughter. I thought 
 
 A girl was a burden, the worft pofTeflion a man could have ; 
 
 Coftly to rear, coftly to keep, coftly to get rid of. 
 
 It feems I was wrong. I have had a daughter, who from her cradle 
 
 Has never coft me a single penny, and the very hour 
 
 She is thrown on my hands, ftie has offers of marriage. 'Tis not 
 
 for me 
 To hinder the kindnefs of heaven. You are welcome to take her. 
 
 Yet 
 I have one condition: the dowry. 
 Men, Certainly : about that 
 
 We fliall not quarrel however. My fon will be rich : and you 
 Will give as you think is fit. 
 
 Chr, I ftill fhall infift on terms. 
 
 You will not oppofe a proje<3: of mine ? 
 Men, 1 promife not ; 
 
 Confider it fettled : and now let us put the bufinefs ofF, 
 And bring the two young lovers happily face to face, 
 I long to fee Antiphila. 
 
 Chr, Wait. FU call my wife, \^goes to L.] 
 
 And tell her to bring her out. 
 
 Men, And I will call my fon. \soes to R. 
 
 [caUing] Clinia! 
 

 OF B AC C HVS 
 
 
 Enter Clinia. 
 
 Clin. 
 
 Father ! 
 
 Men. 
 
 Come ! Is Pamphilus there ? 
 
 Clin. 
 
 He is 
 
 87 
 
 Men. Let him be ready. 
 
 Enter SoBrata & Anti^hila. 
 Chr» See here, Menedemus, my daughter. 
 
 Men. And mine. 
 
 My dear Antiphila, I fear you have heard hard tales of me : 
 I have therefore the greater pleafure in bringing you, now we meet, 
 The joy I have ftood in the way of. I have alked your good father 
 To grant your hand to my fon in marriage : he has confented. 
 See, here is Clinia. Let me join your hands for — ever. 
 Be happy. 
 
 SoB. [afide'] The dear old man ; fee how he weeps for joy. 
 Chr. You will not deny me now, Menedemus, Tm fure : you'll come 
 And fpend what is left of the day at my houfe. You'll dine with us ? 
 Men. With all my heart. You have not prefented me to your wife. 
 
 I beg 
 
 Chr. Come, Softrata, come and make your compliments 
 
 To our new relation. 
 
 Men. Your fervant, madam. 
 
 SoH. O fir, I am glad 
 
 My Antiphila will have your fon for a huiband. 
 
 Men. I am very proud 
 
88 . THE FE A ST 
 
 Of fuch a daughter-in-law. But now, if I may afk, 
 Where is your fon Pamphilus ? He fliould not be abfent now, 
 Chr. Dont afk for him. 
 
 SoH, I befeech you fpeak with my hulband, fir. 
 
 Chr. I beg, Menedemus, you'll fay no more. I have caft him off. 
 Men. 1 ftill ihall venture to plead his forgivenefs. 
 Chr. 'Tis too late. 
 
 I have fent him off already : he is gone. 
 Men, Not fo : he is here. 
 
 [calls'] Pamphilus ! [to Chremes] Do not blame me • I promifed to 
 plead for him. 
 
 Enter Tamphilus, 
 
 Chr, How dare you again appear in my prefence, wretch ? Be off I 
 
 I tell you that I difown you. Yes, Menedemus, and you 
 
 Will not attempt, I beg, to avert the puniiliment 
 
 He more than deferves. I have caft him away and cut him off. 
 
 My whole fortune I leave to Antiphila — that is the thing 
 
 1 faid I fliould afk — you promifed not to oppofe me : now 
 
 I beg you will not. 
 
 Men. Confider if you are wife. 
 
 Chr, Not wife ? 
 
 SoB. O you are very unwife ! 
 
 Chr. Wife! 
 
 SoB, Why he is my fon [ 
 
 Chr, Is he ? perhaps he is : there's not a doubt in the world 
 
 He is yours : but were I you, I fhould not be very vain, 
 
OF B A C C H y S ' 85) 
 
 Being mirrored in fuch a cub. 
 
 Soft, O Chremes, your own fon ! 
 
 Chr» Not were he twice my fon, & fprung from my head, as they 
 
 fay, 
 Minerva was from Jove's, would I own him. 
 Pam, •Confider, fir. 
 
 My mother's feelings, although you do not confider me. 
 Chr. I not confider you, fir ? In all I have done, I have kept 
 You and your follies in view : confidering what you are 
 I thought you would rather think I confidered you too much. 
 I confider you recklefs, fir • I confider that you purfue 
 Your pleafure and vulgar taftes. I confider you quite unfit 
 To be trufted with money, and fo I have hit on a plan, by which 
 You'll be, I confider, fpared the trouble of managing it j 
 And though not launched on the world as I'd wifli to fee my fon, 
 You'll be, I confider, enfured from abfolute defl:itution. 
 Vnable to leave you my wealth, I turn to thofe that are next, 
 To them I do not flirink from entrufliing it j and I confider. 
 That at their houfe, Pamphilus, you will always find at leaft 
 A refuge, food and clothes, and a roof above your head. 
 Fam, Good God ! 
 
 Chr. Dont fwear. — 'Tis better than that you fliould be my heir. 
 And Gorgo fquander it. Eh, fir ? 
 Fam. O, I wilh I was dead. 
 
 Chr. Firft learn what 'tis to live : when you know that, if life 
 Difpleafe you ftill, then wifli to die. 
 
 M 
 
90 THE FE A ST 
 
 Men. Chremes, allow me 
 
 To urge you in this. You could not really wifh him to go 
 
 To Perfia, fay, and forfake you, as Clinia did me. 
 
 Chr, Forfake me ! why let him go to perdition for all I care. 
 
 Rather than ftay at home and drag his father down 
 
 To beggary with his vices and follies : for if I once 
 
 Were faddled with his expenfes, I guefs 'twould come very foon 
 
 To my ufing that fpade of yours, Menedemus, in good earneft. 
 
 Men, You offered me your advice this morning : now I in turn 
 
 Chr, I do not need advice. 
 
 Men, Spoil not fb happy a day. 
 
 Chr, I have found a daughter to-day, Menedemus, but loft a fon. 
 
 Men, You have loft your daughter to me, let me reftore your fon. 
 
 Soft, O do forgive him, Chremes ; you muft. 
 
 Chr. ^^^y-> filence, wife. 
 
 Clin. Me, fir, you cannot blame for taking a brother's part. 
 
 His fault was partly mine : and what was wrongly done 
 
 Was done in my behalf. 
 
 Chr, No, no, there's no excufe. 
 
 Enter Fhilolaches as Ferjian, 
 
 Men, Why here's our friend the Perfian. 
 
 Chr, Pray, fir, what will you ? 
 
 Fh. I hear you have been enquiring for me in the town. Behold 
 
 me! 
 Chr, I do not want you now : I know, fir, who you are. 
 The game is all played out. We have done with mafquerades. 
 
OFBACCHVS 91 
 
 And perfonating others. 
 
 Ph, I may take it then I addrefs 
 
 Chremes, and not Menedemus ? 
 
 Chr> You do, fir, and be fo kind 
 
 As now to reftore me the money, which under a falfe pretence 
 
 You made me give you to-day. 
 
 Fh, 'Tis not the Perfian cuftom. 
 
 Chr, You and your Perfian cuftoms be hanged, fir; and I believe 
 
 You're more than half to blame for all the impertinence 
 
 I have fuflFered to-day. 
 
 Fh, I am, fir. I came to make the confefflon ; 
 
 But if you know it ahready, why do you fpite your fon ? 
 
 I have been your gueft to-day, and if I have overflrained 
 
 The liberty of the feaft, I am ready in turn to pay 
 
 The penalty. In the name of Bacchus, difown me, cafl off me, 
 
 Difinherit me, if you will. But him, your flefh and blood. 
 
 Forgive him, I fay. 
 
 Men, Yes, Chremes. 
 
 Ant, O father, do give in ! 
 
 Chr, Now that's the firfl time, lafs, you have called me fathef . 
 
 I fee 
 1 fhall have to yield. 
 Ant, O thank you. 
 
 Chr, Stay. If I do give in, 
 
 'Tis only on two conditions. 
 Men. I'll anfwer for Pamphilus, 
 
 M 2 
 
9^ THE FEAST 
 
 That he will accept them : what are they ? 
 C^r. Firft, my forty pounds , 
 
 To get that back from Gorgo. 
 Pam. I cant do that. 
 
 C^r, You cant ? 
 
 Men. You fpent that money, Chremes, advanced it rather for me, 
 Thinking to do me a fervice, I'll alk you let it be me 
 Who does it for you. I'll gladly pay it : it is not loft. 
 Confider this condition fulfilled. 
 C^r, You are kinder far 
 
 To my boy than he has deferved. 
 
 Men. And what is the other matter ? 
 
 Cifr. This. He muft marry. 
 Pam, Father ! 
 
 C^r, I will not hear a word. 
 
 Men. I'll vouch for him that he will do it. 
 C^r. He does not fay fo himfelf. 
 
 Pam. No ufe, — impoflible. 
 
 SoB. Can you hefitate, Pamphilus ? 
 
 Ckr. Nay, let him do as he likes. 
 Men. He'll do it — everything. 
 
 SoB. This muft feem ftrange at firft and difagreeable, 
 Before you have even thought of it. When you know more of it, 
 You'll like it. 
 Pam. 1 will, father. 
 
 Ckr. Good, fon : for though a wife 
 
 1 
 
OFBACCHVS 5)3 
 
 Is an evil, (lie is a neceflary evil, and one to which 
 
 You will get accuftomed in time. 'Tis more refpedable too 
 
 To be married ; and the only cure for a temper fuch as yours. 
 
 SoB, I'll help you choofe, my dear Pamphilus : I know who — 
 
 That clever, charming girl, whom you'll be in love with directly ; 
 
 The orphan niece of our old neighbour, Phanocrates. 
 
 Fam» What, not that redhaired thing, with a mouth from ear to 
 
 ear. 
 And a nofe I could hang my hat on ? I could nt. 
 Chr. Why only fee 
 
 How nice he has grown : 'tis plain he means what he fays now. 
 SoB, Why, I'm fure, Pamphilus, Hie is a pinnacle of perfedion. 
 But I know another. 
 
 Fam. No, no j if I am to marry, be hanged ! 
 
 I'll choofe for myfelf. I know of a girl will do very well. 
 SoB, Who is it ? 
 
 ■'9 
 
 Fam. Archonides' daughter. 
 
 SoH, You could not have pleafed me more. 
 
 Chr, My word ! I do believe my wife and I are agreed 
 
 On fomething at laft. O wonderful day ! 
 
 SoB. Chremes, I knew 
 
 'Twould end like this. 
 
 Chr. Now, wife ! none of your prophecies. 
 
 Come in, come all to dinner. 
 
 Fam. Philolaches was alked • 
 
 May he come too ? 
 
5^4 THE F E A ST 
 
 Chr, Oh yes ! if it's the Perfian cuftom. 
 
 I'll bear no grudge to-day • come in, fir, with the reft, 
 
 And help to make us merry. This is the Feast of Bacchvs. 
 
 THE END 
 
 '•g^Q^gr 
 
 ^~ 
 
NOTE 
 
 This attempt to give Menander to the Englijh ftage is bafed 
 upon his Heautontimorumenos as ive knoiv it through Terence, 
 That play i though marred by Roman tajie^ is a tuork of high excel- 
 lence ,• but as it ft and s luould be unprefentable to a Chriftian 
 audience^ chiefly on account of the Siory ofAntiphila^s expofure^ 'which 
 muB deprive Chremes offympathy. Andy fince the liberties vjhich 
 Terence took viith Menander cannot be determined^ it was but man- 
 nerly to extend the necejfary alteration^ and fupprefs the flaves 
 with their tedious <&* difficult intrigue. Thus altered only about one 
 fixth of the Latin original remains , and the play is perhaps not fo 
 found in plot as Terence made ity and is Bill weighted with the 
 badnefs of his Bacchis \_Gorgo~\ i but it has the advantage of being 
 more eajily followed^ and may for that reafon be more interefting. 
 The conftruBion of the modern Bage required the opening change, 
 AU that is beautiful in Terence ^ and therefore probably mo ft of what 
 was Menander $y has been carefully preferved -, and fome extant 
 fragments of his have alfo found a lodging. 
 
 The metre is a line of fix Brejfes^ written according to the rules 
 of Englifh rhythm j and its correftfondence with the Latin comic 
 trimeter iambic is an accident. A ftrefs never carries more than 
 one long fy liable with it^ — the comic vein allowing fome licenfe as 
 to what is reckoned as long i — but as there are no conventional 
 
fireffes^ {except fometimes in the fixth place i or in the thirdy where 
 the mid'Verfe break ufual in Englijh ftx-HreJfed verfe is ohferved^ 
 or that place is occupied by a proper name^) the accompanying fyUa- 
 bles may have any relation of place to their carrying Brefs, Where 
 four or morejhort unfireJfedfyUables come together^ a ftrefs is diftri- 
 buted or loft : but this diftributed Brefs can only occur in the fecondy 
 fourth €f fifth place y on account of the rules inhich govern the other 
 places* Any infringement of thefe laivs are faults or liberties of 
 rhythm : and it luill be evident that the be ft has not been made of 
 the metre, A natural emphafizing of the fenfe gives the rhythm. 
 
 The author thinks that fo much explanation is due to the reader y 
 becaufe the verfe is new. He has been told that it will be faid by 
 the critics to be profe ,• but that if it were printed as profey they 
 might pronounce it to be verfe j and this is the ejfeB aimed at: fince 
 a comic metre which will admit colloquial jfeech without torturing 
 it mufi have fuch a loofe varying rhythm, 
 
 Yattendon ; Juney iSSf. 
 
 € 
 
ROBERT BRIDGES 
 
 FLYCATCHERS 
 
 SWEET pretty fledgelings, perched on the rail arow, 
 Expectantly happy, where ye can watch below 
 Your parents a-hunting i' the meadow grasses 
 All the gay morning to feed you with flies ; 
 
 Ye recall me a time sixty summers ago. 
 When, a young chubby chap, I sat just so 
 With others on a school-form rank'd in a row, 
 Not less eager and hungry than you, I trow, 
 With intelligences agape and eyes aglow, 
 While an authoritative old wise-acre 
 Stood over us and from a desk fed us with flies. 
 
 Dead flies — such as litter the library south-window. 
 That buzzed at the panes until they fell stifl-baked on the sill, 
 Or are roU'd up asleep i' the blinds at sunrise, 
 Or wafer'd flat in a shrunken folio. 
 
 A dry biped he was, nurtured likewise 
 On skins and skeletons, stale from top to toe 
 With all manner of rubbish and all manner of lies. 
 
^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^HHH^^^^^H 
 
 ■ 
 
 1 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^te^ ^^1^1 
 
 ^^^^1 
 
 
 ■ 
 
 
 ^ 
 
 ' ^^^hI^^^^^^^I^k 
 
 
 ■i^SIHHI^HiJI^I^HlBL- ^MiiL. 
 
 ^Q 
 
 ROBERT BRIDGES M.A., D.LITT., 
 POET LAUREATE. 
 
 From a photo by LafayetU. 
 
 LL.D, &c..