954 Dl73 r- QD Wf THE MINOR DRAMA. No. XXXII. NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. IN TWO ACTS. BY CHARLES DANCE, ESQ. ALSO THE STAGE BUSINESS, CASTS OF CHARACTERS COSTUMES, RELATIVE POSITIONS, ETC. NEW YORK: WM. TAYLOR & CO. (S. FRENCH, GENERAL AGENT,) 151 NASSAU-STRICT, CORNER OF SPRUCE. CAST OF CHARACTERS. Royal Olympic, Park, 1848. Olympic. Admiral Kingston. . . Mr. W. Farren. Mr. Gilbert. Mr. Nickinson, Lieut. Kingston. RN. " C Matthews. " v Valcot. " Walcot. Short " Wymau. " Hamilton. " Conover. Dennis " Brbufham. " Everanl. " Mrs. Pontifex Mrs. Orger. Mrs. Gilbert. Mrs. Turner. fllisa Mortimer Mad. Veslria. Miss Rose Tp-lbin. Miss Clark. COSTUMES. ADMIRAL KINGSTON Handsome modern and naval uniform, epaulettes, an pold stripe of lace down the trousers. LIEUTENANT KIMGSTON, R. N. Handsome modern naval uniform &c. SHOUT. [Landlord of the. Foir.it.un, atPorttsmouth.] Black coat itiid troupers, figured cut velvet-waistcoat, white neckerchief, pumps. DENNIS [Waiter at ditto.] White trousers, butt' waistcoat, blue stripe narrow tailed jacket, white neckerchief. After the first scene, he weare a black narrow and long-tailed coat. MRS. PONTIFEX. A puce satin pelisse, lace cap and lappets. MISS MORTIMER. A white mushn pelisse over a blue slip, blue flowors in the hai. EXITS :\ L AXCS. ; R, means Right; L. Left; *R.'D. Right' Door ;' L. D. Left Door; S. E. Second Entrance; U/B. Upper Entrance? M. D. Middle Door. RELATIVE POSITIONS. R. means Right; L. Left; C. Centre; R. C. Ri\t of Centre; L. Lyft of Centre. NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. ACT I. SCENE I. A Hall at the Fountain Inn at Portsmouth. DENNIS discovered asleep in a chair, L., with a napkin in his hand. Den. [Talking in his sleep.] Thank you, Captain! thank you ! God bless your honour, and thank you a thousand times ! Upon my conscience, the army's a fool to the navy for generosity ! [After a pause.] Och, Colonel, and is all this money for me ] By my soul, the navy must knock under to the army for generosity, any way. [Bell, L. Waking.] What bell is that ? [Bell] Oh, no hurry ; it's only the travellers' room. [Sleeps. Enter SHORT, L., returning from market. Short. How plaguy dear the fish is, to be sure ! That won't do. While the fishmongers make me pay such ras- cally prices, I shall never be able to charge my customers above twice what I give ! there's some infernal roguery somewhere. [Seeing Dennis] Well, I'm sure ! this is a pretty time of day to go to sleep ! I'll induge him with an Irish wake. [Goes close to him, and baw/s in his ear.] Dennis ! Den. Coming. [Starts up and nearly knocks SHORT down] Och ! murder ! master dear ! is it you called out Dennis ? Short. (L.) It was. But you have nearly killed me. Den. (R.) Sure, I'm sorry it's asleep I was ; I was quite blockd up. Short. And I was almost knocked down. Den. Sure, I didn't go to do it. Short. How did you come to do it ? M55832 6 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. [ACT I. Den. There's not a jury in England that wouldn't say my pushing you was accidental death. Arn't you my mas- * tej;? and wouldn't nly runnnlng against you be running against i?l^oVn4n%jrfs>m Short. But what business had you to be asleep at eleven o'clock in the morning 1 or, indeed, what business has a waiter ever to go t to steep ? /V v. Ah ! *maGt?-M now, don't be hard upon me. Sure the young gentlemen that dined up stairs yesterday, never /wer)*t/li6me$ t w o their ;mammies till seven this morning, and it's the ilevil'a bit of a' bed I've had. Short. You don't say so ! did they all stay till seven ] Den. They did, sir. Short. And were they drinking all the time ? Den. They were, sir. Short. Why, it was enough to make 'em all ill. Den. You may say that, sir. Short. A pretty penny it will cost their poor parents. Den. It's to be hoped they're not very poor parents, sir. Short. Don't you joke upon such a subject, Dennis. I'm quite shocked to hear of such young men drinking so much without eating. Den. Sure they'd the devil's own supper at two, sir. Short. I'm glad of that, for so much drinking, without eating is bad for every body. Did they order any break- fast before they went 1 Den. Some coffee, sir. Short. It would have been better for all parties if they had had a complete breakfast; however, charge it as a breakfast, and it may serve as a warning to them, Young men who drink hard over night are sure to pay for it in the morning. Den. Very true, sir. Are you quite sure I didn't hurt you, sir? Short. I'm quite sure you did. Has there been any arrival while I've been out ? Den. Yes, sure, sir. There's ould Admiral Kingston in No. 8, Shor*. Any body with him 1 Den. A young lady, sir. Short. What is she 1 Den. What is she? faith, she's mighty pretty. SCENE II.] NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS, Short. I mean, who is she 1 Den. Who she is ? that I don't know, sir. Short. Have they ordered any thing] Den. They have, sir, 9 Short. What? Den. A. pair of horses, sir. Short. [Laughing.] A pair of horses ? Did they order any thing to eat ? Den. Nothing but the horses, sir. Short. Any body else come ? Den. Yes, sir ; there's a young naval officer in No 14, Short. Any body with him ? Den. A middle-aged female ; supposed to be his mother Short. What's his name? Den. I don't know, sir. Short. Has he ordered anything ? Den. He has, sir. Short. At last what is it ? Den. He ordered me to hold my tongue when I asked Short. Is your tongue any thing to eat, pray ? Den. It's to be hoped not, sir ; for I bit it once, and I didn't like it. Short. Well, I can make nothing of you, so I shall go and see what I can make of them. The Admiral is an old customer, and he must do as he likes ; but the younster shall eat something, whether he's hungry or not. Den. That's right, master; make him eat something, if it's only just that you may put down upon paper that he has. Short. I know what I'm about, Dennis. Den. The divil a doubt of it, sir. You're not such a fool as you look. Short. Whereas, you, on the contrary, don't look such a fool as you are. [Going. Den. Long life to your gentility, master; for you're never behindhand at returning a compliment. ( Exeunt at opposite sides. SCENE II. A Room in the same, with , doors, and doors R. and L. 2 E., MRS. COL. PONTIFEX and LIEUT* KING- TON discovered ; the former at work on settee, c., small work-table and basket before her ; the latter R. effacing 8 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. [Acr I. the audience, with his legs across a chair, his hands crossed on the back of it, and his chin resting on his hands. The room is furnished with round table, it., covered with writing materials, bookfy portfolio of prints, vase of flow- ers, fyc. ; sofa, L., and chairs, covered with chintz furni- ture ; the settee and two chairs on which MRS. PONTIFEX and the LIEUTENANT are seated must be set in front of the second grooves, so that the third scene may close up, leaving them on the stage, with the side doors as used in this scene, and painted to match the third. Mrs. P. (c.) A penny for your thoughts, Kingston, dear. Lieut. K. (R. c.) They're not worth it. Mrs. P. Then you ought to be ashamed of yourself, for you can't have been thinking of me. Lieut. K. Indeed I was. [Rises and walks restlessly to andjro.] I never did know any thing so worrying, so teasing, so perplexing in my life. [Resumes his position. Mrs. P. As lam] Lieut. K. No, no ! not you. Mrs. P. A penny for your though ts now, Kingston dear. Lieut. K. My dear Mrs. Pontifex, I assure you, they are not worth it. Mrs. P. Now, Kingston dear, why do you call me Mrs, Pontifex 1 It seems very formal to a woman whom you are about to marry. When the late Col. Pontifex then only Captain Pontifex was making his addresses to me, he always called me Selina. Lieut. K. And Til call you Selina if ydu wish it. Mrs. P. Now, Kingston dear, that's very kind of you very. You're not annoyed with me for alluding to poor dear Colonel Pontifex, are you 1 Lieut. K. Who ? 1 1 Oh ! by no means ; [Relapsing in- to thought. \ died at Gibraltar about three years since. Mrs. P. [Rising, and coming to him.] I'm quite aware of that, but what on earth makes you mention it just now, Kingston dear ? Lieut. K. [Rising.] I beg your pardon I was thinking aloud. The fact is that my head is full of my approaching interview with my father, and I was wondering how he would receive Mrs. P. How he would receive you ] SCENE II. J NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. 9 Lieut. K. No, no ! I have no fear about that. Mre. P. How he would receive me, then ? Lieut. K. No, not exactly you. Mrs. P. Kingston dear, there's a mystery ; I have thought there was for some time past, and now I'm sure of it ; so don't attempt to deny it, but give me an expla- nation, and a chair. Lieut. K. I beg you a thousand pardons. [Gives her a chair, L. c., they sit MRS. P. makes her- self up to listen. LIEUT. K. relapses into thought. Mrs. P. (R. c.) [After a pause.} Well Lieut. K. (L. c.) Are you speaking to me ? Mrs. P. Oh ! Yes, I was speaking to you, and I should think you very well knew what about ; however, to pre~ vent the possibility of mistake, I'll tell you again. There is evidently some uneasiness in your mind about meeting your father. You have always told me that you lived and parted with him on the best of terms, and therefore I am bound to suppose that the uneasiness relates in some way to me. We are within ten miles of his house, and, as we say in the army, I demand an explanation. Lieut. K. Then, Selina, as we say in the navy, you must have it ; but it's very awkward upon my life it is. [Aside.] How shall I tell her. [Aloud.] You know my father ? Mrs. P. (R.) No, I don't know your father. ( Lievt. K. (L.) No, I know ; but you know what I mean. Mrs. P. Well go on. Lieut. K. My father and I have ever lived together, as I have often told you, on the best of terms. Mrs. P. Yes. Lieut. K. More likeJbrothers, than father and son. Mrs. P. Yes. Lieut. K. With but one opinion, as it were, between us upon every subject. Mrs. P. Yes. Lieut. K. No jealousy Mrs. P. No. Lieut. K. No concealment Mrs P. No. Lieut. K. No mistrust Mrs. P. No. 10 NAVAL ENGAGE. \fKNTS, [Acx I Lieut. K. [Aside.] Confound her monosyllables, she doesn't help me out in the least. [Aloud.] You have no idea how curiously well we agreed. Mrs. P. I ought to have a very good idea of it, for you repeat it often enough. Lieut. K. [Aside.] [t's of no use, I must bring it out somehow. [Aloud.] It went even to this extent we had but one opinion about marriage. Mrs. P. And that was Lieut. K. That it was a point on which every person had a right to please himself, without reference to the opin- ion of relation or friend. This was the very last topic we discussed two years ago, when I left England for Gibral- tar, where I had the happiness of becoming acquainted with you. Now, considering that I was just five-and- twenty, and an only son, and that my father was a widower of five-an d-fifty, with a large fortune, I think our senti- ments argue considerable liberality on both sides. Mrs. P. Well! I think they do, Kingston dear; and such being the case, there can be no doubt that your fa- ther will cheerfully consent to our marriage. Lieut. K. No exactly but Mrs. P. But what ? You're getting mysterious again. Lieut. K. Why, the truth is, that in some cases it is pos- sible for people to agree to well ; and in giving each other a carte blanche upon the subject of matrimony, there was one reservation I can't help il, and so you must pardon it we entered into an engagement that neither of us was to marry a woman of an age unsuitable to his own ; this, little thinking into whose delightful society I was going to be thrown, 1, in a moment of indiscretion, agreed to; and if either broke the engagement, we agreed Mrs. P. You agreed to quarrel, I suppose ? Lieut. K. Not exactly, but it is awkward isn't it ? Mrs. P. I don't know that. Some people are more reasonable than others. I see nothing so very unsuitable in our ages. Lieut. K. Nor I. In short, \ never thought about it. Mrs. P. I am not a giddy girl, to be sure. Lieut. K. No, that you're not. Mrs. P. Nor are you a decrepit old man. Lieut. K. Certainly not ; and so if you'll put on your ScKWEll.] NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. 11 bonnet, we'll order a chaise, be off at once to my dad's, and know the worst of it. Mrs. P. You're quite right, Kingston dear, any thing is better than suspense. You always like to know the worst of a thing, that's the best of it. [Exit c. D. Lieut. K. Yes, we'll be off to my dad's, tell our story, throw ourselves upon his generosity Enter SHORT, L. s. E. ask for his consent, and [meeting SHORT] who the devil are you ? S/tort. Short, sir; master of this inn. Lieut. K. Short ] why you haven't been here long, Short ? Short. No, sir; short of a twelvemonth. Lieut. K. I thought I remembered that I didn't recol- lect you. Short. Would you please to take any thing, sir ? Lieut. K. Yes ! I am going to take myself off directly. Short. Then I should recommend a nice mutton cotelet, sir. Lieut. K. [Impatiently.] Mutton devil ! Short. As you please, sir, but devils are more com- monly taken for supper ; a nice mutton cotelet I should say for you, and a broiled partridge for the lady. Lieut. K. I haven't time to wait. Short. Then, sir, decidedly some cold chicken and tongue. Lieut. K. My good friend, I'm not well. Short. Oh ! I beg your pardon, sir. You wish for some soup. Lieut. K. I don't wish for any such thing. I am well enough in health, but I am fatigued and bothered and low spirited. Short. If I might suggest, sir, J should say there is no- thing better than a sandwich, and a couple of glasses of champagne, for any any one who is rather low. Lieu.. K. Then, my friend, as you seem rather lou\ you had better swallow them yourself. Order me a chaise, and a pair of horses. Short. Where for, sir? Lieut. K. 1 want to go about ten miles on the London road ; to Admiral Kingston's, in short. I dare say you k now it. 12. NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. [ACT I. Short. Oh, yes ! I know it, sir. Do you know Mm ? Lieut. K. I ought he's my father. Short. You don't say so, sir ? then, sir, to see your fa- ther, you needn't go farther, for your father is nearer than yoa think for. Lieut. K. What ! is he in Portsmouth, this morning ? Short. He's in this very house. Lieut. K. My father in this very house 1 Why, I haven't seen him for these two years. You have absolutely given me a palpitation in the heart. Short. Old sherry, sir, is considered an excellent thing for that. Lieut. K. Now don't bother me about old sherry, but lead the way to my father's apartment Or stay, tell me the number of it. Short. No. 8, sir. Lieut. K. Now, stand clear of the gangway, and I'll soon find it. [Pushes him aside, and exit, L. Short. Let me see for I suspect that this encountei will turn out luckily for me. They were all four going to the Admiral's ; good ! They can't all four go in one chaise ; good ! The Admiral and his son can't part the moment they meet; good! and the two ladies can't go in one chaise, and leave the two gentlemen to go in the other; good! It follows, therefore, that they must all stop here and order a dinner ; good ! very good ! ScENElIL Another Room in the same the ADMIRAL'S two doors in flat, R. and L. Lieut. K. [Opening L. D. F., and rushing in.] My dear father ! I am delighted to find f Stops and looks about.] No one here ? What an ass that landlord is ! [Rushes out again, R. D. F.J Enter, at anothe? door, R., ADMIRALKINGSTON. ^ Adm. It's time we were off ; or else that youngster will be at home before me [Goes_fo door of inner Room, R. 2 E.^and knocks^ Mary, my dear ! Mary ! Miss M. [ Within.] Coming, grandpapa. ~**.Adm. [ Coming a wa y from the door*\ Psha ! I wish the little baggage would leave off that silly custom of calling me grandpapa. SCENE III.] NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. 13 Enter Miss MORTIMER, R. s. E. Miss. M. Here I am, grandpapa What do you want 1 *~+Adm. Why, my dear, in tjie first place, I want you to leave off calling me grandpapa ; now that we are going to be man and wife. Miss M. (R.) I'll try, but I think it will be very diffi- cult ; I have been used to it so long. You know, you taught me to call you so yourself, when I was a little girl, and used to sit upon your knee. ^-- Adm. (L.) That's very true, my dear; but that was twelve or fourteen years ago, and it was a joke. I have changed my opinion since, and now I think it's no joke. Miss M. Well, just as you like, grand 1 mean, just as you like, sir. * Adm. No, I don't like " sir," neither. Miss M. What then ] ^^-* Adm. Why, to say the truth, there is a little awkward- ness about it. My Christian name, as you know, is Theo- dore ; but as there is rather more than the usual difference between our ages, perhaps that would sound a little ro- mantic. Suppose you call me Admiral ? Miss M. I shall like that better than any thing, for I hope you don't think that I am going to marry you, be- cause you're rich. *** Adm. [Taking farmhand.] Delightful little creature ! 1 may natter myself, then, that you are not induced to con- sent to this step for the sake of my money? Miss M. Oh ! dear, no ! ^ Adm. [Aside.] Frank, confiding soul ! I can't deny myself the luxury of hearing a further confession. [Aloud.] You marry me, then, my dear Mary, for my Miss M. For your rank, to be sure. *- ~ Adm. \Letting of %Q her f fin^ flfjdf ] Oh ! confound the rank. Miss M. You remember that I used to read of Duncan, Nelson, Howe, and Jarvis, until I always told papa that I would marry an admiral ; though, to be sure, I little thought my words would ever come true. "~ Adm. Well, my love, we won't pursue that subject any ' farther just at present. My son has landed here this morn- ing, from Gibraltar ; I have missed him somehow,, and I 14 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. [ACT I , suppose be has taken a chaise, and gone post-haste home to see me. Your father has given me leave to take you over, arid introduce you to him; so 1 have ordered horsea to my carriage, and I want you to be ready in five minutes. Miss M. I won't be two. I haven't seen my old play- fellow, Tommy Kingston, since he first went to sea, a little bit of a midshipman. ., Adm. He's only a lieutenant, nmp. Miss M. 1 don't care a straw about his rank ; I like him for himself. ,- Adm. \Aside.] I would change ranks with the young dog, to have her say that of me. [Aloud.] You must bear in mind, my dear, that you and Torn are not of an age to be playfellows now. Mus M. Aren't we 1 Oh, la ! I forgot I was going to be his mother. ^ Adm. And there is another thing that I wish to mention to you. 1 have a particular reason for not letting my son, Lieutenant Kingston, see you, until after I have had some conversation with him. Miss M. La! grand sir! admiral! how mysterious you are. If there's a secret, do tell it me. ** Adm. No, no, there's no great secret about it; only come now, put on your things. Miss M. \ won't go till you tell me what all this means. If I'm to be Mrs. Admiral Kingston, I ought to know every thing that you know. ,* Adm. Well, well ! you are to be Mrs. Admiral Kingston ; and you shall know but it's really nothing. I only want to see my son first, to inform him of my intended mar- riage to prepare him for it to break it to him, as it were. Miss M. Break it to him? what, do you think it will shock him ] Adm. Shock him ! Oh, no ! Miss M. What then ? ^ Adm. Why, he might object to it. Miss M, Has he any right to object to it ? Adm. Certainly not : that is, not any natural right. Mix* I\I. Well, then, it wouldn't signify. _ Adm. \Mmcd.\ The little baggage has got the weather- gage of me. and she won't give me a chance. [A/ou Adm. Do keep silence T don't wish to see him here ; I mean, not in this room. Go you, therefore, and fincThim and tell him that I am not yet come back. Den. May-be he won't believe me, sir; because he's so mighty eager to see you. Hadn't I better go tell him that you told me yourself, you wasn't here ? ^ Adm. Take your own way, but get him to his room, and I'll follow him there. Den. Consider the thing done, sir. [Exit, L. F. <~*-Adm. It is a devilish hard case, that a man is to live to the age of five-and-fifty with a fair reputation for courage, and then to be, all on a sudden, half afraid of meeting his own son. [Exit, L F. \Miss Mortimer opens the door, R. s. E., and "peeps out. Miss M. It is astonishing how curious women are! Here am I peeping out, and I have no reason to give for doing so half as strong as that I was desired not. The Admiral has sailed, and the coast is clear there's no en- emy's cruiser in sight, and I shall venture out. [Goes to door, L. F,, and listens.] I hear no one, I'll open the door. [Opens it gently.] Gracious! there's somebody corning. [Attempts to close the door, which Lieut. K. pulls open. SCENE IIT.J NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. 17 Lieut. K. [Entering, L.] Don't shut the door, old gen- tleman ! I've found you at last a lady ! Miss M. (K.) A stranger! \Turning away and aside.] I remember him, though he doesn't remember me ; but I Vnusn't appear to know him, or the Admiral will be angry. Lieut. K. I beg you pardon I fear you must have thought me very rude, but I took you for Admiral Kings- ton. Miss M. It is the first time I have been so much hon- oured, sir. Lieut. K. I mean, I took this for Admiral Kingston's room. Miss M. You were quite right, sir. He will return immediately. I am about to retire, and if you will take a chair, I have no doubt you will see him in five minutes. Lieut. K. Nay, madam ! rather allow me to retire 1 I couldn't think of causing you to leave your to leave his to leave this room. (Aside.) Who the deuce can she be ? Miss M. \Going.] I have only one word more to say, sir; you will particularly oblige me, by not mentioning to the Admiral that you have seen me. Lieut. K. [Aside.} What on earth does that mean? [Aloud.] One moment, ma'am, pray. Have I the honour of addressing a relation of Admiral Kingston ? Miss M. Not exactly, sir ! but I think 1 have. Lieut. K' You have the advantage of me. Miss M. [Curtesying.] And I mean to keep it. Lieut, K. [Aside.\ How pi'ovoking she is. [Aloud.] Excuse me, but you seem aware that I am the Admiral's son ; you will therefore wonder at my natural curiosity upon a subject which in short Madam Is my father married. Miss M. Not that I am aware of, sir. Lieut. K. [Aside.] That's some relief. [Aloud.] Then pardon my asking, are you here with him ? Miss M. How can I be, when he is absent ? Lieut. K. No but I mean is he here with you ? Miss M. The same answer applies. Lieut. K. There is some mystery. Miss M. There is, indeed. Lieut, K. You own it ? Miss M. And the Admiral owns it. 18 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. [ACT I. Lieut. K. It must and shall be cleared up. Miss M. Will you promise me that ? Lieut. K. I will. Miss M. Then you are a very delightful young man, that I will say. [Going towards the door of her room, R.J Lieut. K. And you're a most extraordinary young wo- man that I must say. Miss M. And so ends the first interview between Lieu- tenant Thomas Kingston, R. N., Lieut. K. [Eagerly.] And? Miss M. [Curtesying.] His most obedient servant. [Exit to room, R. s. E. Lieut. K. A young lady in my father's apartments, who knows him and knows me, but whom I don't know, and who declines to tell me who she is ! I suspect the old gentleman is running a little wild. [ Takes a chair.] Well ! when one can't understand a thing, the best way is to sit down quitely [jSifoJ and wait patiently for an explanation. [Jumping up.] I can't stop here by myself! [Exit, L. D. F. SCENE IV. -As 2nd. The Lieutenant's Apartments, as ^ before. *** Adm. \Knocking without^ and call^- t. ] Ship ahoy! Tom, my boy, wnere are you t [Entering j Tom, you rascal, where are you, I say ? Mrs. P. \From her room t jc.] Is that you, Kingston dear? - Adm. [ ft-ii r *tyr _j Who the devil can that be ? Mrs. P. \ Entering, and speaking "* frfrf fflj/fTy, c.] I say, is that you, Kingston dear] [Starts on meeting Admiral.] Bless me ! Adm. (L.) I certainly am Kingston, ma'am ; but I am not so fortunate as to be dear to you, that I know of! Mrs. P. (R.) I beg your pardon, sir **~ Adm. Don't apologise, ma'am, pray. [-4s^.] She's a very nice-looking woman ! Mrs. P. I presume you are looking for Mr. Kingston ? Adm. Just so, ma'am. Mrs. P. Is there any thing I can do for you when he returns 1 * Adm. You're very kind, ma'am. My principal busi- ness with him is to embrace him. SCENE IV.] NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. 19 Mrs. P. Sir ! ^g, Adm. Don't be alarmed, ma'am I'm his father. Mrs. P. [Aside.] The Admiral ! What a nice-looking man ! [ALJ^-] You are aware, sir, that I had not the honour of knowing you. Mr. Kingston will be here, I dare say, in two or three minutes. Adm. I was rightly directed, then ; and these are his apartments ? Mrs. P. If they were not, sir, 1 should not be here. ^ Adm. Indeed ! LlgfcTcJ That's very extraordinary ! Mrs. P. [ Aside. \ I've made a foolish speech. ^- Adm. You will excuse the natural anxiety of a father; I have not seen my son for two years, and after what you have said, it behoves me to ask a question which I trust you will see the propriety of answering candidly are you his wife ? Mrs. P. No sir, I am not. *s=^ Adm. Then, ma'am, I very much fear that you must be Mrs. P. [Interrupting him, and curtesying.] Nothing of the kind, sir, I assure you. ^.-^ Adm. Will you oblige me by telling me who you are? Mrs. P. (R.) You must excuse me ? I think 1 hear your son returning. I really must beg to retire, although I re- gret to own that appearance, at this particular moment, is against me. I can't exactly explain why I can't explain, but when you see your son, he will explain every thing. [Curtesys, and re-enters room, c. *** Adm. (L.) Yes, ma'am, and d/s-appearance at this par- ticular moment is against you, too. A lady in my son's apartments who refuses to tell me who she is ! and who says if they were not his apartments, she shouldn't be here ! I suspect the young gentleman is running a little wild. Door opens, L. s. E., and Lieut. K. enters hastily. Lieut. K. [Stopping on seeing his father.] What! Ad- iiiral ] * Adm. What! Tom, my boy! come to my arms, you #- [ Lieut. K. runs io him t/icij ^embrace. Lieut. K. (L.) And how are you, sir f Adm. Hearty as a buck, my boy, thank you.; hearty as 20 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. [.V:T I. \ a buck, fresh as a four year old, and jolly as a sand-boy ! i How has two years in the Mediterranean agreed with you? Lieut . K. Oh ! very well, sir. - Adm. So I see so I see. You're looking famously. I thought you were gone home, and I should have been off after you, if I had not heard accidentally that you were here. Lieut. K. I suspect we have missed one another by be- ing in the same house, sir. Adm. Not unlikely, faith. But no matter for that now, I have found you, and by George, I'm as glad as if I had found a large bag of money ; nay, more so ; for I don't want money, and I do want my son. \ Shaking hands with linn again.} ^** Lieut. K. You forget our old compact, sir. I am not your son we are brotners ! ^.^ Adm. True, boy, true ; we are indeed, and always were, more like brothers than father and son. No concealment Lieut. K. No restraint ^^Ardm. No evasion Lieut. K. No black looks * ' Adm. No disobedience Lieut. K. No harsh commands Adm. Well, well, we won't compliment one another any more. 1 believe we both went upon the right system, and we can't do better than stick to it : and so get a chair, Lieutenant places chairs.] sit you down, and let us have a chat together upon the old principle. Lieut. K. (L.) Without saying any thing- about father arid son, sir, I must say 1 think it was a little curious that any two men of such different ages as you and 1 are, should have agreed so exactly upon every subject that could be framed. Adm. (R.) Well, I think it was. LicUt.K. I remember that we both liked the same pur- suits Adm. We did. Lieut. K. The same amusements Adm. We did. Lieut. K. The same people - Adm. We did. SCENE IV.] NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. 21 Lieut. K. The same things to eat and drink A dm. We did. Lieut. K. And, what was more singular .still, though I was an only son, and you were a rich widower, we even agreed upon the subject of marriage. ~,Adm. Eh? Lieut. K. Why, we did, sir didn't we ! ^**Adm. Oh ! yes yes ; I believe we did. Lieut. K. Believe we did, sir? Why, wasn't it under- stood between us, that neither was to make the slightest objection, let the other marry whomever he might? i Adm. [Aside.] Perhaps he has forgot the other part of the agreement. [Aloud.] To be sure it was to be sure it was. \Shaking hands with him. Lieut. K. That is provided -* Adm. [Lctling suddenly go of 7iim, and aside.] Oh ! the devil take it ! he has not forgotten it. Can he suspect ] Lieut. K. [Aside.] The Admiral seems annoyed he can't have any suspicion, surely. [They both turn aside, and relapse into thought. Af- __ fcr a pause of mutual embarrassment, the Admiral speaks. ^Adm. Tom! Lieut. K. Sir. [Another^pause.^ ^Adm. Tom ! Why don't you go on speaking, Tom ! Lieut K. I have nothing more to say sir. {Another pause. ^**Adm. Pray, Mr. Tom, what is the meaning of this sud- den awkwardness between us? Lieut. K. I really can't explain, sir. -** Adm. It never used to be so. Lieut. K. That's just what I was thinking, sir. **"* Adm. I think it's a great pity. Lieut K. Sp do I, sir. Adm. [Aj& Adm. [Aloud and sharply.] Tom ! Lieut. K. [Same tone.] Sir! . I won't bear this any longer. Lieut. K. That's right, sir. NAVAL r.XCA^r.-MF.NTS. [ACT I. \Tarninrr his c7tair tn findfacin^.^.L>ciif-.] Sir! T paid a visit to your apartments in your absence, and there I found a lady Lieut. K. \ Turning his chair cmd facing Admiral.] Sir! Jpaid a visit to your apartments, "In yirar "absence and there I found a lady ** Adm. [Rises.] Sir! that lady refused to tell me who she was ^" Lieut. K. \Ttises.\ Sir! that lady refused to tell me who she was ^ Adm. Well, sir ! I shall set you a good example ; you won't exrlain and so I will. f4##&] Now for it, [Re*. suming their seats.} \AJ,o>id.\ You alluded just now to our old engagement, that either of us were to marry any one he pleased. Lieut. K. I did, sir. [Aside.] What is he after ? ^-* Adm. Well ! without further preface, I am going to be married. Lieut. K. You, sir? ^Adm. Have I your free consent? Lieut. K. Oh, surely, sir ; that was the engagement. Provided Adm. Don't be in a hurry: I'm coming to that. I re- member the proviso; and 1 want you to release me from it. I am going to marry a young woman Lieut. K. A young woman ? \Aside.} Surely not the girl 1 saw in his room ! Oh, I see, he has got some scent of my intention, and this is a pretence to try me. I must appear to consent. -- Adm. Well? Lieut. K. Why, sir, although I had, and indeed have a very strong opinion upon the subject, I admit there may be a case in which particular prejudices ought to be waived. Adm. Spoken like a man of sense. Tom, your voyage has improved you every way. [J.s^.] That difficulty is soon got over. Lieut. K. I'm glad you think so, sir. [Hesita^ingJ^] I'm going to be married, too, sir. ** Adm. You ? Pooh ! nonsense ! Lir.rft. K. Fact, sir, on rny honour. * Adm. Well, with all my heart. Who is the girl? &H&T. TV] NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. 3 Lieut. K. She is not exactly a girl, sir. *k Adm. Why, you're not going to marry a boy ? Lieut. K. No, sir ; but it's curious enough I was jusl screwing up my courage to ask your consent to my mar- rying a lady some fifteen years older than myself ** Adm. Were you, really! [Aside.] Zounds, he can't mean the woman I saw in his room Oh, no, the young rascal is shamming, just to see what I will say; but I'll disappoint him. [ Aloud. \ I quite agree with you, Torn, that there may be a case in which particular prejudices ought to be waived?"* Lieut. K. Sir, you are liberal to a degree. [}hff>]iing hands with him -aside.] I had no notion he would have" glVe'ri" Wa^"so^easilyr ^ Adm. And now, sir, as I have led the van in the way of explanation, perhaps you'll follow in the wake. Who is the lady in that room ] Lieut. K. That is the lady, sir. n,*~Adm. The lady ] Why, is there but one lady in the world ? Lieut. K. Only one that Pm going to be married to. _#-* Art Come, nonsense, nonsense ! you're joking. Lieut. K. I assure you, sir, I never was more serious ; the lady is the widow cf the late Colonel Pontifex, .and although, as I said, some fifteen years older than I am, she is a very charming woman, and a most delightful com- panion. We came home in the same packet ; but 1 first met her two years ago at Gibraltar, where she was con- sidered the most attractive woman in the garrison. s^-Adm. Very likely, sir ; but the most attractive woman at Gibraltar is sure to be superseded the moment she ar- rives in England. Tom, Tom, you're going to make a noodle of yourself. How often have I seen youngsters on service in the colonies commit this folly. They come out fresh from England, and make a joke of every woman they see ; by degrees they grow more civil to them ; until, at last, they select one from the flock for particular atten- tion, and because she is the best there, they flatter them- selves she must be the very best every where, and so marry. [ They rise. Lieut. K. Well, sir, it can't be helped now ; and so, as you hare no intention of marrying yourself, I hope you will 2-1 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. [ACT I *~ Adm. What do you mean, sir? Didn't I tell you that I was going to be married ? Didn't you see a young lady in my apartments? Lieut. K. [Laughing^ My dear sir, you can't mean to her ? \V"hy, sne musr'be thirty years younger than you are. ** Adm. And suppose she is? if there must be a difference in ages, it's far better that the wife should be younger. Lieut. K. Something younger, yes; but fifteen years ol- der is better than lliirty years younger. *** Adm. I disagree with you, sir. - Lieut. K. I differ from you, sir. *~ Adm. I shall have the dutiful attention of a daughter, combined with the affection of a wife. / Lieut. K. While I shall find united in one person, the fond wife and careful mother. * Adm. Careful grandmother ! you'll be nicely henpecked if you marry that widow, depend upon it. Lieut. K. Very likely, sir ! and you marry that giddy girl, and you'll get your highly respected wig most care- fully combed, I promise you. *" Adm. Your wife will never let you out of her sight. Lieut. K. Your wife will constantly let herself out of Adm. You'll be wretched from morning till night. Lieut. K. That's my business. You won't know a quiet moment. * . Adm. That's mine. Lieut. K. Well, sir! you may break our engagement, if you will, but I'll never give my consent. ** Adm. Nor I. Lieut. K. Just now you said there might be cases- .~-~+Adm. And so did you, Lieut. K. I beg your pardon, sir ; I said a case. - Ad?n. And so did I. Lieut. K. I was alluding to my own. * Adm. I was alluding to my own. Lieut. K. Well, sir ! it appears that we can't agree upon this subject, and so we had better part. *+ Adm. By all means, sir. Lieut. K. Good bye then, sir. [(rtf/tyi? totgfirds inner room, c, NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS, " :> Adm. G-ood bye, sir. [ Going towardsthe outer door, L.] Pray, go to your widow. Lieut. K* And you, sir, to your boarding-school miss* Enter at om uteTj tss /e E. Miss M. (L.) My dear Admiral ! What is the matter? Mrs, P. (R. c.) Kingston dear ! what is the matter ? - Adm. (L. c.) Let me pass, Mary. I won't stay here another minute. Miss M, [Checking him.\ Nay, sir Lieut. K. (R.) Pray, stand aside. I wish to leave the ix)om. Mrs. P. [In an imploring tone^\ Kingston dear -^ Adm. [Mocking her^and^aside.] " Kingston dear ;" she'll make me sick. Come, Mary love, come ! Lieut. K. [Aside.] " Mary love !" Well done, old gen- tleman. Mrs. P. Never mind I it's for you to give way he's your father. Miss M. Consider, sir ! and make some allowance for your son. Mrs. P. Speak to him, or he'll be gone Lieut, K. Admiral I ^Adm. Well, sir? Srl~ l~ V * Lieut. K. Don't go. ^Adm. I will. Lieut, K. -Stop J {Coming down. ^*Adm. I won't. * '"""" ...... "r Lieut. K. Well, sir ! do as you like; LQ^HSi^ilfe^ and brinfr^tynj, ...... /|g^y ] but there are ladies in tne room and I presume you won't like them to report that we have behaved unlike gentlemen. A Adam. Then, ma'am, you had better cease to encou- rage my son in his folly. Mrs. P. Folly sir] Miss M. (soothing her.) Don't be excited. Lieut. K. Come, that's pvetty well, governor : consider- ing the outrage that you are going to commit. Miss M. Outrage ! Mr. Kingston ? Mrs. P. (soothing her.) Pray, be calm. Lieut K. Don't call me Mr. Kingston, Mary. SCENE l V ] NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. 27 Adm. I say, do; and don't you call her Mary. Mrs. P. (to Miss M.) Don't let us be annoyed whatever they say, and then we shall have some chance of their fol- lowing a good example. Miis. M. An excellent plan ; they may say what they like for me. Lieut. K. There's something perfectly ridiculous in the notion of a man's marrying a little chit, young enough to be his grand daughter. Miss M. " Little chit," and " grand-daughter !" That is rather too much to bear. Mrs. P. Now, you promised that you wouldn't mind anything they said. Miss M. Yes ! but there's a medium. * Adm. I should say, it was infinitely preferable to a trumpery boy's marrying a woman old enough to be his grandmother. Mrs P. (screaming.) Ah ! Who is to bear that, I should like to know ? Miss M. Now you said you would. Mrs. P. Very likely, my dear ! but there is reason in all things. Kingston dear ! I shall leave the room, and 1 request you to come with me. Enter SHORT **f Adm. That's the most sensible proposition I have heard yet. Mary, come with me. Miss M. (looking ^pkaf u LIEUT. feJ I shall have great pleasure, sir, in leaving the society of the rudest young man in Portsmouth. Lieut. K. (going to her.} Nay, Mary, I had no inten- tion - Go away, sir. Come along, love. ' [Asjheif are going out at the ' goes to 'ADMIRAL with bill of fiutev Short. "Won't you please to order dinner, sir ? .Adm. No, sir ! [Shuts door inhisface. Mrs. P. Come, Kingston dear. [He goes to her SHORT foil oivs him, and as they are going through the door -w ay , Short. Won't you please to order dinner, sir 1 Lieut K. No, sir ! \Shuts c. door in h is face. 28 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. [ACT 1 1 . Short. They are all mad ! [Returns to door L. H. D., and as he is going out Den. (iv/i.o has followed him.) You had better order the dinner yourself, sir. Short. No, sir! [Shuts door in his face. Den. I'll not be out of the fashion anyway; so I'll say something to myself, bounce out of the room, and bang the door in my own face. " Dennis !" " Sir to you !" Will you order dinner 1" No, sir!" END OF ACT I. AC T. II. SCENE L As Scene 1st. Act 1st. The Hall in the Fountain Inn. Enter R. DENINS, cautiously. Den. Master, dear ! botheration ! the more I searches for master, the more I misses him. \Ezit same way, R. Enter L. H. SHORT. Short. Surely I heard that stupid follow Dennis, calling me Why, there he is ; Dennis ! Re-enter DENNIS. Den. And it's there you are at last, master dear; now I'd be mighty glad if you'd just tell me where you've been to ? Short. Where have I been ? nowhere. Den, By the powers ! that's just what I thought, for I've looked for you everywhere. Short. The way not to miss a person is to remain in the same place. Den. Then I won't easily miss you again, sir; for I'll not leave my present place in a hurry, you may depend upon it. Short. Well, what have you found out? Den. Nothing, sir. Short. What did you want to tell me then ? SCENE I NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. Den. Why, sir! 1 wanted to tell you that I've get noth- ing to tell you ; and there's some information in that. Short. Useful information, truly Den. Well, then, I declare it's no fault of mine, I'm willing to serve you through thick arid through thin ; but if you will have the doors of this respectable inn so ama- zingly thick, it's quite impossible for the most attentive waitei to hear what people's a talking about on the other side of 'em. Short. The doors are thin enough; it's your head that's too thick. Den. If I thought that I'd have it shaved once a day Short. Neither the Admiral nor his son has said a word more about the horses they ordered, I believe ? Den. Not a word, sir! they have both been in their rooms ever since, talking away like fun to their ladies; but for all 1 could catch, it might as well have been Hebrew they were speaking. Short, (aside.) To send such a noodle as this to listen, is to risk the character of my house without getting any information in exchange. (Aloud.) Now Dennis, listen to me. Den. Yes, sir! \Going. Short. Never you listen to any body again. (Seeing that he is going.) Why don't you listen to me, you rascal ? Den. You told me not, sir; beside, sir, listeners seldom hear any good of themselves. Short. Go along about your business. Den. Ah ! now, don't call it business ; you're such an elegant master, that my business is my pleasure. Short. You're a humbug. Den. I'd rather hear you say that than think it, any day. Short. Now get away ; there's one of the ladies coming. Den. (looking in opposite direction.) So there is sure enough ! [Turns to go off the same way he comes on, and encoun- ters Miss Mortimer, R. .entering. [Short turning to go off] L. encounters Mrs. Pontifex, entering. Short. 1 beg your pardon, ma'am ! Exit L. Den. I ask your pardon Miss. Exit R. ( The laches approach each other, both seeming rather confused. 30 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. [Acrll. Miss P. (L ) \After a pause.] I am happy to have met you, my dear. I was just coming to knock at your door and ask the favor of a few minutes conversation with you. Miss M. (R.) How very odd ! I was seeking you, with the same object in view. Miss P. That's curious enough. Miss M. Isn't it] Miss P. It is indeed ! Miss M. Very. Mrs. P. [After a pause.] Well, my dear ! what was it you were going to say 1 Miss M. Upon my word, when I left my room I thought I knew ; but popping upon you so suddenly has put it quite out of my head. Mrs. P. I think I can guess; and moreover I strongly suspect that our motives in seeking each other are very similar. You feel with me the peculiar awkwardness ot the circumstances under which we have first met 1 Miss M. Indeed, I do. Mrs. P. And you would be glad if, by laying our heads together, we could devise some plan to relieve that awkwardness 1 Miss M. Indeed, I should. Miss P. It seems that the Admiral and his son never had a dispute in their lives till now. Miss M. Exactly. Mrs P. 1 must say, I think that the Admiral is a little unreasonable ; because, after al], I am but fifteen years older than my Kingston. Miss M. Well ! and I am but thirty years younger than mine. Mrs P. Yes, my dear; but look at the difference be- tween fifteen and thirty. Miss M. I do ; but look at the difference betwen a woman arid a man ; you know that a man ought to be a good many years older than his wife. Mrs. P. Very likely my dear; but when you are my age, you will have learnt that men are not always what they ought to be. Miss. M. Why are you going to marry Lieutenant Kingston 1 Mrs. P. That is rather an abrupt question : but it is at NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. 31 all events frank, and I will frankly answer it. We were thrown a great deal into each other's society at Gibraltar, he paid me much attention ; he became ill and I returned that attention ; he recovered, expressed his wish to marry me, and 1 consented. Miss M. And do you think he still wishes to marry you ? Mrs. P. What an odd girl you are ! Certainly I do, or I would release him from his engagement in a moment. Miss M. Well, that is very goodnatured of you, though, I must say. Mrs. P. Now perhaps you'll tell me why you are going to be married ? Miss M. With pleasure. I always said I would marry an admiral : and papa wishes me to marry Admiral King- ston. Mrs. P. Well, as matters seem to be settled for both of us, the only rational way is to make the best of them ; now I want the father and the son each to release the other from his engagement, and to be friends as they ought. Miss M. I don't think the Admiral will ever forgive Tom. Mrs. P. Tom ! my dear 1 Miss M. I beg your pardon ! we were playfellows as children, and 1 have never seen him since till to-day ; Lieu- tenant Kingston I mean. Mrs. P. I should say that Lieutenant Kingston has far more to complain of than his father, Miss M. I can't say I see that. Mrs. P. However, my proposition is that you shall go and endeavour to prevail on my intended to forgive his father ; while I see whether [ can't induce your Admiral to have some compassion for his son. Miss M, I'll try it, with all niy heart ; but he was very rude to me an hour ago, you remember. Mrs. P. My dear child, don't talk about that ; remem- ber the Admiral's ludeness to me, Miss M. Well, I shall do my best. \Crossingi,. Mrs. P. And the best, as they say, can do no better. Miss M. [Stopping and turning.] Mrs Pontifex. Mrs. P. [Stopping and turning.] My dea/ T Miss M. Don't you make too much love to my fine old English Admiral ; or else I shall be jealous. 32 WAV AT, ENGAGEMENTS. [ACT 11 Mrs. P. I'll take care. And I say, my dear! Miss M. What say you? Mrs. P. Lieutenant Kingston, if you please; not Tom ? [Exeunt sever ally, u. and L. SCENE. II. As Scene 3rd, Act L Sette and two chairs as before. The ADMIRAL discovered t^pll-inf* uv and fl.tnnfa ^* Aam. This is a confounded mess, and I don't see my I way out of it. It's the first disagreement that Tom and I ever had, and I must own that 1 never felt so uncomforta- ble in my life. \Knock at room door^ E.] Come in. Enter DENNIS, L Ddn. Are you alone, sir 1 *Adm. I am-, and wish to be left alone. Den. In course, sir. I'm a waiter, and it's my duty to attend to your wishes ; but by the same token it's my duty to attend to every body's wishes; and a lady has sent me to you with a message. Adm. I'm sorry it's not a gentleman, for I feel mon- strously inclined to shoot somebody. Den. It would shuit the lady if you could see her now, sir ! ^ Adm. What is she ? Den. Why, sir, you see some names is hard to remem- ber easily ; but I should say the lady's name is Mrs. Hali- fax, or Paddywhacks. Adm. Don't you think it was Mrs. Pontifex ? Den. I don't think at all about it, sir j because I'm sure of it. P Adm. Beg her to walk in. Den. [aside.] " Beg her to walk in I I wonder did he think she was going to ride in Exit L. *~* Adm. What the deuce can she have to say to me ! Re-enter DENNIS, L. conducting Mrs. PONTIEEX. Den, [announcing.] Mrs. , that lady, sir ? ^ Adm. Leave the room, sir. [ Exit D E NNIJLL- 1 Madam, once more your most obedient. Permit me to offer you a chair. \Ptares one for L. n. and ari other for " Srr.M'/Ii-.] NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. SH Mrs P. [L.] We have been introduced to each other, Admiral Kingston, under circumstances of a very unpro- mising nature. *** Adm. [R.] Most unpromising, ma'am ; most unpromising. Mrs. P. It would give me the siricerest pleasure, if, by any means in my power, I could set matters straight be- tween you and your son. *""" Adm. I dare say it would, ma'am. I can easily under- stand that. Mrs. P. Will you be candid enough to tell me exactly what you mean ] Adm. Why, ma'am, as I am speaking to a lady, I would rather leave my meaning to her own penetration ; but this is no time for overstrained delicacy. Mrs. P. On that point, sir, at all events, you will find that we are agreed. +Adm. Well then, ma'am, to be plain with you, I can easily understand your readiness to set matters straight between me and my son ; because your so doing would lead to your marriage with a good looking, good-for-nothing, gentle- manly young rascal ; with the Queen's commission to his back, and the prospect of a fine fortune in his front. Mrs. P. Self interest, then, then, you consider to be my only motive ] ~*Adm. Why, ma'am, to pursue the candid line; I imagine there can't be any violent love on either side ; when the gentleman is only five-and-twenty, and the lady is Mrs. P, Turned of forty, sir ! don't hesitate, we are pursuing the "candid" line, you know. 4^ Adm. Madam, I must own that you have anticipated me. .Mrs. P. And I shall beg leave to do so again, sir, for I see that you want my assistance. There is a native warmth, a kindness about your heart, sadly at variance with the tone of severity which you are endeavoring to assume towards me. ***Adm. [forgetting hjjnsdf-} Ma'am you are very good, [recovering his tone] but you are very much mistaken: I have by no means a kind heart. In short, you can't pos- sibly know any thing about my heart. Mrs. P. Why, sir, I have listened to its praises from vour son for hours together. 34 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. [ ACT 11 Adm. [aside] B]ess his heait ! bless his heart ! [Aloud.] It would have been much better if you had never listened to any thing my son said. Mrs. P. You are of opinion that I have entrapped your son into a promise of marriage, solely because I hoped to share the fortune he expects from you Adm. Madam ! you have said it. Mrs. P. You think that I have no real regard for his happiness; but that I would force myself, at the price of that, into connection with an ancient and honourable family Adm. I never contradict a lady. Mrs. P. In this. case, you would have done her better justice if you had. Adm. Can you make that appear ] Mrs. P. With the greatest ease ; I came here hither in the hope of inducing you to consent to a marriage which your son had, to use the mildest term, gersuadc.dMrnself, would make him happy. From that son's description of you, I had expected to find you kind ^ Adm. Ah ! Mrs. P. Affectionate Ah ! Mrs. P. And generous. Ah ! Mrs. P. Instead of which, it seems you are harsh *Adm. Ma'am! Mrs. P. Unfeeling. Adm. Ma'am ! Mrs. P. And unrelenting. Adm. Ma'am ! Mrs. P. We are pursuing the "candid" line, you know, sir, by agreement. , Adm. Yes, madam, but you needn't grg&p;he line. Mrs. P. Well, sir, to prove you, at all events, that you have done me injustice ; to show you that 1 have a real feeling for your son, and none for his fortune, I am will- ing to make a great sacrifice. Adm. What ! to take the boy with half his money, I suppose ? Mrs. P. No, sir; I resign all pretensions to his money Adm. [drawing his chair nearer to her.] What's that you say, madam. SCENE II.] NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. 35 Mrs. P. And, rather than prolong an unhappy differ- ence between a hard-hearted father and a persecuted son, I also resign all pretension to his hand, and release him fi'orn his engagement. ^ A dm. \ drawing hi-s chair quitq close ^ker."} Would it be too much trouble to say that again '{ Mrs. P. Not at all, sir. Rather than prolong an unhappy difference between a hard hearted - Adm. \i- w :t f ^M2lS&Si&'] ^ don't mean that part. Mrs* P. I resign all pretensions to his hand, and release him from his engagement. ** Adm. Ma'am you are a most a extraordinary woman. Mrs. P. I am glad you think so (rising) and now - ^Adm. No, no! sit down, sit down, pray ; it is just pos- sible that you may have done me some injustice: so sit down pray, (she sits.) My dear madam, you have surprised me, my dear Mrs. Poritifex, I may say you have astounded me : and though you have called me harsh, unfeeling and unrelenting, I do assure you that I am not actually de- serving of either of those epithets. I'm not easily driven, Uut I don't like being outdone upon a point of generosity; I won't accept this resignation of yours until I know more about the matter. I'm not a stock, nor a stone; I love my son, you think I don't, but I do I love that boy dearer than my life ; yes, madam ! dearer than my life, hard-hearted as I am : and sooner than see him wretched, I'll consent to his marriage, forego my own, and jump into the sea. (Rises.) Mrs. P. And now, my dear sir, I beg you to forgive all that I have said ; for you are indeed the kind, good, libe- ral, and warm-hearted being your son has always descri- bed you to be. ^i n. /< - / That boy is a boy of ten thousand, ma'am ! Mrs. P. He is indeed : and such being the case, you will give him your hand, won't you ? and bid him forget the momentary unpleasantness that has passed. mHm Ad?n. Ma'am ! my hand shall be at his service for two purposes ; I'll first box the young rascal's ears for being impertinent to his father, and then I'll give him such a grip of friendship as a Biwttsh sailor has ever ready for his late enemy upon the proclamation of peace. Mnt. P. This js indeed charming : shall we go to him? v> NAVAT, r.'.v .".';.: r-;:\r/. f ACT M **Altn. [ Tt^ng..Ler...hamljb Not yet! Now don't be in such a hurry I want to talk with you a little more you must know that I am getting quite fond of you. Mrs. P. I'm sure, sir, I am very much flattered. Adm. Not at all, not at all ; it is your own merit your own attractions which have in so short a time converted an antipathy into a predilection. Mrs. P. I'm quite delighted, sir. "Adm. Tom loves you, I suppose 1 Mrs. P. I believe he does. Adm. 1 don't wonder at it ; he would be a precious fool, and very unlike his father, if he didn't. You musn't be annoyed with me for my frankness, but I tell you very plainly, that I never was so taken with any lady upon a first acquaintance in my life. Mrs. P. Annoyed, my dear sir ? Why, to please you is the first wish of my heart. Adm. You don't say so ? Mrs. P. Next to that of pleasing your son. ""* Adm. Ah ! hang that Tom ! those sons are always in one's way : well, "well, say no more about it he's a lucky dog but you're too old for him you are indeed. Mr*. P. Don't say any thing about that, sir. ^Adm. My dear, I must candor you know candor you're a charming woman but, by George, you're too old to marry Tom. Mrs. P. I suspect that I am not the only person in the room who is about to marry one much younger than v Adm. Now, don't mention that. Mrs. P. Candor you know, sir candor. M Adm. Now, pray don't I confess my folly I don't know how it came about I almost wish, for her sake, that it had not come about she's a dear, good girl". Mrs. P. You would say so again, if you knew all. ^ Adm. All What is all 1 Mrs. P. She is at this moment, I believe, with your son. Adm. With my son ? What the devil for? Mrs. P. For the same purpose that I came to you-^- to reconcile you to each other ; as I have prospered so well, the work is more than half done. [Going. ^ Adm. Don't let us go just yet. i? L r: v E I il . ( N A V.A L : : .V ;: A ' : ;<: M E XTS. .1 7 M/'j. P. Nay, sir ! Why delay, when good is to be done 7 - Adm. I don't know I'm in no hurry; that's all I know but it shall be as you wish every thing shall be as you wish. Mrs, P. [Going.} I'll lead the way then. rn. Nay, my dear ! let rne offer you an arm. Mrs. P. Oh ! with pleasure. ,^~ Adm. [ffiflflp^&fij I wish that dear little girl that I'm going to make a noodle of myself with, were your age in- stead of her own. Mrs. P. It would be better, I must admit. ** Adm. And I can't help wishing, for your sake and Tom's, that you were of her age, instead of your own. Mrs. P. That would be better also, I admit. *** Adm. You are as candid as you are handsome. Mrs. P. My dear Admiral ! s Adm. My dear madam ! [Exeunt L. SCENE III. As Scene 2d, Act 1st Set us before.~ Enter LIEUTENANT KINGSTON, (c.) Lieut. K. This is a pretty business ! and what to do, I haven't the most distant idea. My father won't give me his consent, that seems very clear ; what on earth does ho. mean to do 1 Where the deuce is Mrs. Pontifex gone to? and what the devil do you want? [To DENNIS, ivho knocks and enters, L. Den. I want you, sir that is to say no, sir ! it isn't me exactly, that wants you, but it's another lady outside. Lieut. K. What 'lady ? Den. The young lady, sir, that was with the old gentle- man. Lieut. K. Miss Mortimer ? Den. I believe that's her Christian name, sir Lieut. K. Did you say I was here ? Deri. I said I didn't know whether you was or not, sir, but I'd ask you. Lieut. K. Show her in. Den. 1 will sir. [Exit L. Lieut, K. What's in the wind now, I wonder? 38 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS, [AcT II. He-enter DENNIS. L. conducting Miss MORTIMER. Den. The lady, sir. Lieut. K. Dennis ! Den. Coming, sir. Lieut. K. Leave the room. Den. Going, sir. [Exit. Lieut. K. Won't you sit down ? [Moves sette down to c. Miss M. Thank you ! [Sits at the extreme end of the sette.\ I wish for a few minutes' conversation with you : perhaps, you will sit down also? Lieut. K. (L.) If you wish it certainly. f Sits at opposite extreme end. Miss. M. (L.) We parted children ; we meet again under very peculiar circumstances. Lieut. K. Very, indeed, madam ! Miss M. "Madam?" Lieut. K. Certainly ! one must practise respect to one's mother you know. Miss M. True ! I forgot ; it is very distressing to me to have witnessed the first disagreement you ever had with your father, and to feel that I am in some measure the cause of it. Lieut. K. [Getting a little nearer to her, and as he speaks she gets a little nearer to him.} Your sentiments do equal honour to your head and heart Madam. [ They both get back to their places. Miss. M. 1 am truly glad you think so; I am most anxious to see you reconciled to each other, and if you retain those quick and generous feelings which used to actuate you as a boy [During this they again approach each other.[ I am sure that you will readily assist me Sir ! [ They get back to their places. Lieut. K. Yes, madam. Miss M Now that your first surprise is over at finding that I am going to be married to your father, I should like you to tell me candidly what you think of me. Lieut K. I think you so altered, that it is no wonder I did not recognise you. I think you more beautiful than I ever dreamt you would grow up to be ! Miss M. I didn't mean tha,t. Lieut. K. But / did though [checking himself.] Ma'am SCENE III.] NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. 89 Miss M. I want to know what you think of marrying the Admiral ? Lieut. K. I think it is one of the most preposterous things I'ever heard in my life : I think I have got a very silly old man for a father, and that I am going to have with the greatest respect a noodle for a mother. Miss M. Sir, you are very polite ! Lieut. K. Well, I can't help it ; for upon my soul, Mary ma'am, I mean it's too ridiculous. Miss M. You look through a glass of great magnifying power at other people's faults, arid reverse it to peep a your own. Lieut. M. That's a very fine speech, I dare say ; but I don't exactly perceive the application of it. Miss M. No! Why, what do you imagine people will say about your marrying old Mrs. Pontifex? Lieut. K.. [Getting up and walking about.] Hollo ! am I going to be laughed at ? I can't bear that and I won't bear it and so you may tell people. If the men laugh at me, they must take the consequence; and if the women laugh at me, I'll shoot their husbands, sons, brothers, fa. thers, and uncles. Miss M. Dear me ! Why, one would think you were the whole navy of England, instead of only a lieutenant in it. Lieut. K. I won't bear it, I'm determined ! Miss M. Well, well; sit down, a pretty dear sit down upon the same sofa with it's ma and it shan't be laughed at. Lieat. K. [Sitting down.} Now don't Mary! don't ma'am. If there is one thing that I hate more than another, it is ridicule ; deserved or not, I feel just the same. Miss M. It is a pity that one so sensitive should have exposed himself to it, but I won't say any more about it; if I have vexed you forgive me. \Off ers ^ cr h&nd. Lieut. K. [Getting dose to her, and taking it.] Oh ! madam! [D 11 madam! I can't say it any more, and I won't,] Oh, Mary ! now you are, indeed, like the frank and affectionate child 1 once knew you. Miss M. You musn't call me Mary Tom. Lieut. K. Not when you call me Tom? Miss M. Did I call you Tom] I beg your pardon. 40 NAVAL KVO! A CEMENTS. [A.CT IT. Lieut. K. Don't apologize : it puts me in mind of old times. Miss M. Do you know where Mrs. Pontifex is? Lieut. K. Never mind her just now. Miss M. Oh ! but I must ; she's with the admiral. L'eut. K. What ! are you jealous ? Miss M. Not the least. Are you ? Lieut. K. No I ' Miss M. She seems tome to be a very delightful wo- man. Lieut. K. So she is ! so she is ! Oh ! that she is \ I cer- tainly wish, for her sake, that she was something nearer my own age yours now, for instance. Miss M. I'm afraid that wish will grow upon you. Lieut. K. What is she gone to the admiral for] Miss M. To ask him to consent to your marriage ; and /came to ask you to consent to his. Lieut K. I can't do it ; it goes against my conscience. [Rises. Miss M. [Rising.] You 'must ! you must indeed! Lieut. K. I cannot I feel that I cannot. Miss M. That which must be must be : why then should yu refuse to make the best of it? Come, Lieu- tenant Kingston, for my sake come Tom for Mary's sake, consent. Lieut. K. For your sake, Mary, I will consent to any- thing. Miss M. [Rising.] Come with me then, at once, and let me see you on your old terms with your father. Lieut. K. Not this moment! there's no such absolute hurry. I think I have consented too soon. Mary, sit down and persuade rne again. Miss M. No, no ! it must not be : and you must leave off calling me Mary. Lieut. K. Well, if it must be so ; for the last time at least, Mary, take my arm. Miss M. Will you hold your tongue about Mary, Mr. Tom? [ Takes his arm ; and is going forwards L. D. Enter the, ^ADMIRAL .imlh 'tajis. Jr ONTIFEX Jeanin^^ fits prfft - the 'others separate, /iastni/, and in r.onfiision. **^^4 J/*." l " l T"T1T( l Tagi)t 1 informed, you, sir, that I was about to be married to that lady? SCENE III.J NAVAL F/^A^KWKN I'S. 4 1 Jiient. K. You clitl, sir. > J.d/71. And under those circumstances, do you think it proper or decent that I should find her flaunting about with her arm through yours ? Look at me, sir, and an- swer me ! Lieut. K. (R.) I am looking at you, sir. *^Adm. (L.) Well, sir! Lieut. K. And I want to know whether you think it proper or decent that I should find that lady flaunting about with her "arm through yours ? *r Adm. Pooh, pooh! nonsense you foolish monkey! you're not going to be jealous of your father ? Mrs. P. [L. c., To Admiral.] Now rny dear sir Lieut. K. Why notT when you are jealous of your son. Miss M. JR. c. To LIEUTENANT K.J Now be calm. ,* Adm. The tact is^ sir, that 1 am particularly pleased with this lady. Lieut. K. Sir, you do me great honour. "** Adm. She has done you great honour in condescending to care about such a such a Miss M. Very agreeable young man as Lieutenant Kingston, R. N. <~> Adm. Oh, what ! he has been doing the agreeable to you, has he ? Miss M. The fact is, sir, that I arn particularly pleased with this gentleman. Mrs. P. Kingston, dear ! what have you been saying to Miss Mortimer ? Lieut. K. I have only been endeavouring to make myself acceptable to my future (ahem!) mother-in-law. ** Adm. \ Aside.] Confound the word how ridiculous it sounds in ms mouth ! Mrs. P. My dear Miss Mortimer, you remember, no doubt, the terms of our agreement, and the objects for which we undertook to see the dear Admiral and his son 1 CE Miss M. [Aside.] The dear Admiral ! \Aloud.} Per- fectly you were to obtain a release for his son*from the "dear Admiral/' and I was to obtain a release for the Admiral from " Kingston, dear !" Mrs. P. [Aside.] Kingston dear ! Miss M. [Aside.] She doesn't seem to like it herself, 4*3 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. ] ACT II. Mrs. P. Have you succeeded 1 Miss M. Ask him. Lieut. K. I have promisedyto obey her wishes in all things. Mrs. P. [Aside] Indeed ! Miss M. Have you succeeded ? Mrs. P. I refer you to the Admiral himself. . Adm. I must own that I strongly incline to comply with any request of this lady's. Miss M. [Aside.] Really ! Mrs P. Our course, then, is obvious. We have been the unintentional causes of the first difference between a worthy father and an excellent son. In the peculiar circumstances under which we are about to become members of that family, it is our first duty to remove that difference. The goodness of both their hearts has been shown in the readiness with which they have listened to our pacific overtures, and I now call upon you, Kingston dear, to extend that hand which your father is eager to receive in his. Lieut. K. \ Running to his fyffycr.] My dear sir ! ~ Adm. (L.) Sly dear boy. Lieut. K. (L. c.) I'm heartily sorry, sir, that we should have disagreed for a moment. ^ Adm. You can't be more sorry than I am, my boy : nor more glad that the little squall has passed over. Miss M. I am delighted to see you again as you should be. Mrs. P. And so am I ! ^ Adm [iSI///^^ hfin.^ witk M^.P^ I'm sure you are worthy, excellent creature, I'm sure you are ! Lieut. K.. \^fcfLkin& hfiTLds-iiiiJjA^&IisR ML] I'm sure you are cfiarming, delightful creature I'm suie you are ! ^ Adm. There that will do, Tom ; now come hither, [ want to speak to you. You ladies will excuse us for two minutes, I'm sure ? Miss M. Oh ! ceainly, sir. Mrs. P. Come, love ! [Miss M. takes her arm, and they retire, up stage, ht/vW.v, c\v., fit tal>lc R. x A 7 ^fife^anwMlpaMHMMlMHHHHMBB*" 11 ^ Adm. 1 say, 1 om Lieut. K. Yes, sir. SCENE III] NAVAL REGALEMENTS. 43 ^*Adm. Tom, T say Lieut. K. Yes, sir. **_ Adm. \Bawlins^.\ D n it, Mr, I say, Tom ! Lieut. K.~ kyeaye, sir. *^Adm. That's the way to answer me that sounds like old times. Are you in good humour? Lieut. K. Never better, sir. *** Adm. That's right. Lieut, K. Will you allow me to hope that the serenity of your mind is perfectly re-established ? """"^ Adm. Perfectly. Now look here [^oaxz^/?/.] What the deuce could ever make you thinK of marrying a woman fifteen years older than yourself? Lieut. K. What the deuce could ever make you think of marrying a girl thirty years younger than yourself? ^^Adtn. I tell you what, master Tom, you have contracted a vile habit of meeting a question with a question. ' >Lieut. K. I don't wish to annoy you, sir. **^Adm. I didn't say you annoyed me sir, T said it was a vile habit, and so it is : come come, let me see you return to your senses, and renounce this silly match. Lieut. K. Silly match, sir silly match ? Adm. Now, you said you were in a good humour. Lieut. K. So I am, sir go on say what you like I'll take it all in good part. ** Adm. Now, own that's a silly match ha ! ha! Lieut K. Any thing you please, sir ha! ha! ^ Adm. Just fancy you and your wife twenty years hence you still a young man, with straight back and elastic gait, walking thus; ^cj^oss^m^R. and m fyqcfai,.] and she, with stooping shoulders and halt-palsied head, toddling by your side thus. [ Laughing.] Tom ! Tom ! it's too ridiculous ! people^sEould marry those of their own age I always told you so. Lieut. K. [ With a forced laugh.] The picture you have drawn, sir, is funny enough I must own attend one mo- ment while I sketch another. When a certain youns: lady shall have reached the age of forty, she will still retain her firm step and handsome features, and will walk along the admired of all beholders thus ; [crosses L. and back R.] while a certain Admiral, then turned of seventy, with one hand on his stick and t'other behind his back, 44 NAVAL EN ? GA';J<:MKNTS. PACT ?!. wi'l keep up with her as best he may 'l.us ! Sir, sir! it's too ridiculous ! people should marry those of their own age I always told you so. ^ Adm. (L.) Or, if there is a difference, the man should be the older. Lieut. K. (R.) Well, sir, it's of no use to talk, the thing is settled, and you have consented. -** Adm. (L.) So have you, if you come to that. Lieut. K. (R.) I don't consider that I have done any such thing. " Adm. Nor I neither. Lieut. K. Do you mean to deny your words, sir? * Adm. Can I do better than follow your excellent exam pie, sir ? Lieut. K. Very well, sir : then there seems no chance of our agreeing 1 -** Adm,. Not the sligntest. [ T^J^ev Bounce fro n each other, and turr^ up the sfage- MRS. P7 and Miss M. at same time come down centre. Miss M. (R.) Now here is a pretty business they have quarrelled again ! Mrs. P. (L ) Oh ! it's quite shocking, my dear ! Miss M. Much good you seem to have done by your interference ! Mrs. P. C Adm. [ Aside. ]T)ea.v me ! dear me! me ladles are quar- relling, now. Lieut. K. [AsidgK.] If the women get to loggerheads, there's an endofeverything ! By this time the^Ladies ha ve returnedzzJ&RS . P. onj-he^ side of LIEUT. K. and Miss M. on the side of the ADMIRAL. Adm.^[To iRtiss M.] My dear child, I'm sorry to see this. Miss M. Don't call me child, sir; if I'm to marry a man as old as you are, I wo'nt to be called a child, at all events. Adm. (L.) Very well, miss. Miss M. (L. c.) Don't call me miss. 0ftf *Adm. For"s1iame, my dear. Miss M. Don't call me, my dear. ^ Adm. [Aside.] Oh, dear ! Oh dear ! what kave I underta ken] Lieut. K. [R. To MRS. P.] I'm really quite vexed, Mrs. Pontifex. Mrs. P. (R. c.) Don't Mrs. Pontifex me, sir. Lieut. K. Is this the temper which I thought so perfect ? Mrs. P. Your obstinacy is enough to spoil any temper in the world. Lieut. K. You are many years older than I am, and ought to set a better example. Mrs. P. That's right, sir ! insult me because 1 was born before you ; but I needn't wonder at any thing you do, after the manner in which you have behaved to your worthy and excellent father, there. ** Adm. Madam ! I'm very much obliged to you. Miss M. For abusing your son ! that's good taste, at all events ! I'm sure a better young man never existed. Lieut. K. That's very kind of you, Mary. Mrs. P. If you had a proper respect for your father, you would give way to him in every thing. Lieut. K. I have the highest possible respect for my fatner ; but he shall never marry that girl, if 1 can help it. M'ss M. A truly affectionate father would overlook a trifling defect in so admirable a son. 46 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. [.\CT II. Adm. I love my son, Miss Mortimer as a father ought; but d n me if I consent to his marriage with that lady. And now as we seem at any rate to understand one ano- ther about a misunderstanding, nothing remains for me but to order my carriage arid go home. Here, waiter ! Lieut. K. Stay, sir! as I know not when or under what circumstances we may meet again, I crave your permis sion to take a proper and respectful leave of my future mother-in-law. Adm. Be it so! Mary, take leave of my son ; and you, madam, as there is no difference between us, will perhaps not refuse my parting good wishes, [MgS^ P^^g^^ADM^gg^.jV^ISfiuMf to ILlEUT. Miss M. (iCc.) It's very disagreeable to part agaTn, jife^ as we have met after so many years of absence. Lieut. K. (R.) It makes me wretched to think of it. ^ Adm. (L.) Believe me, Mrs. Pontifex, I part with the greatest reluctance from a lady, for whom a very short acquaintance has given me the most sincere esteem and regard. Mrs. P. (L c.) I assure you, my dear sir, the regret is mutual. ^MM* Adm. Farewell, then, madam. [Taking her hand. Mrs. P. Farewell, sir. Lieut. K. [Taking Miss M.'s hand.] Farewell, old play- fellow. Miss M. Farewell ! ^^ Adm. I presume you are to be my daughter-in-law, and I therefore offer you a father's blessing. [fjssin * her for eh eajl. ^ Lieut. K. Mother-in-law, accept my dutiful regrets at leaving you. [Kisses her forehead. ^> Adm. Once more, adieu ! [ Takes MRS. P. in his arms. Lieut. K. Mary ! Miss M. Tom ! [He takes her in his arms,. ***** Adm. [Looking over MRS. P/s shoulder.] Lieutenant Kingston ! "" Lieut. K. [Looking ntwr Miss M.'s shoulder.] Sir ! ^^tr Adm. What the devil' are yoii obout, sir \ Lieut. K. What are you about, sir ? Adm. Sir, I hardly know ! Lieut. K. A thought strikes me S CEN1 . : HI. NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. 47 *"S Adm. What is it. Lieut. K. Do you find yourself comfortable ? ** Adm. Very. Lieut K. So I do; then suppose we change wives, and remain as we are. ^* Adm. It's all in the family ma'am : what say you ? Mrs. P. My dear sir, I told you that the first wish of my heart was to please your son : my next to please you. / see that his happiness is concerned, and I consent at once. Lieut. K. My dear Mrs. Pontifex, what shall I say to you ? Mrs. . Say, "thank you mamma," and be a good boy for the future. Lieut. K. My Mary won't object. Miss M. Well, I don't know that I shall. ** -Adm. Why, Miss Mary! what has become of your reso lution to marry an admiral] have you forgotten Duncan ,' Nelson, Howe and Jarvis ! ** Miss. M. [Giving her hand to LIEUT. K.] They were cdi m lieuten ants once^ sir. "' Adm. Come then, let us all shake hands upon this new bargain. Miss M. [Gy^^e^^^ w j|j^_]PJ Forgive my cross question. Mrs. P. Forgive my crooked answer. **** Adm. Turn, my boy, I'll make this lady as good a hus- band as 1 can. Mrs. P. And this lady will be happy to be the means of restoring harmony between a good father and a son whom she will never cease to regard. ^***Adm. Mary ! Miss M. Aye, aye, si.i. ^^^Adm. I have resigned the command of you to my first lieutenant there. Miss M. Sir, I shall do my best to obey his orders. Adm. After all, there's nothing like sticking to the rules of the service ; you are scarcely more than a twenty gun vessel and have no right to be comman led by an admiral; and now ring the bell. [LiEUT. K. rings. Lieut K.. 1 say sir, don't you agree with me that people should marry those of a suitable age ? 48 NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS. [ACT II. Adm. T always said so ! Lie.ut. K. You did, arid so did I ! *~ Adm. That you did, I must admit. LIEUT. K. embraces Miss M. ADMIRAL embraces MRS. P. SHORT and DENNIS enter L. at same mo- ment and stare with astonishment. Dem. [ To SHORT.] As they say in a sharp frost, it's fine embracing weather, sir ! " Adm. Landlord ! Short. \Advaneing L.] Dinner is quite ready, sir. Adm. Why, I didn't order it! Short. No, sir but I somehow felt sure you would want it. Adm. Well ! as it happens, we do and so, the battle being over, the^crew shallgo^ to dinner.^/ Letlne,' however TsTlfeope to obtain^aiPac^rmwle^Igment that there is no exception to the golden rule [Britania's rule,] that "Naval Engagements," led by a British Admiral and backed by British hands, must prove successful. ^^ DISPOSITION OF THE CHARACTERS AT THE FALL OF THE CURTAIN SHORT, DENNIS, LIEUT K. Miss M. MRS P. ADMIRAL *] !> THE END. THIS BOOK IS DUE ON THE LAST DATE STAMPED BELOW AN INITIAL FINE OF 25 CENTS WILL BE ASSESSED FOR FAILURE TO RETURN THIS BOOK ON THE DATE DUE. THE PENALTY WILL INCREASE TO SO CENTS ON THE FOURTH DAY AND TO $1.OO ON THE SEVENTH DAY OVERDUE. *GV 29^2 * < CI ? cn APR 2 1 ^6$ R 8 i ^E LD 21-100m-7,'40 (6936s) Gaylamount ^ Pamphlet I Binder Gay lord Bros., Inc. Stockton, Calif. T.M. Reg. U.S. Pat. Off. , pni THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY .