I 
 
 ^nd 
 
 T\-t)-iBLAGi\MORE
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 AT LOS ANGELES 
 
 -^1 
 
 ;m^.
 
 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 • gl ^torg of Witst i^i'tiliksex. 
 
 R. D. BLACKMORE 
 
 AUTHOR OF " SPRINGHAVEN," " CHRISTOWELL," ETC. 
 " Si tu Caia, ego Caius," 
 
 IN THREE VOLUMES. 
 VOL. I. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 SAMPSON LOW, MARSTOX, SEARLE, & RIVINGTON, 
 
 LIHITED. 
 
 S>i. IBunstan's Jtjousr, 
 
 Fetter Lane, Fleet Street, E.G. 
 
 1890. 
 
 \_AU rightt rcurved.]
 
 LONDON : 
 
 PKINTED BT WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED, 
 
 STAMFOBD STKEET AND CHAKING CROSS. 
 
 • « ■ ««« .
 
 PR 
 ^.1 
 
 CONTENTS OF VOL. I. 
 
 PAGE 
 1 
 
 6 
 
 15 
 
 26 
 
 37 
 
 48 
 
 61 
 
 78 
 
 ... 89 
 
 106 
 
 ... 118 
 
 130 
 
 ... 143 
 
 157 
 
 175 
 
 XVI. True Love ... ... ... 190 
 
 CHAPTER 
 
 I. Uncle Corny 
 
 II. 
 
 My Kitty 
 
 III. 
 
 The Timber- bridge 
 
 IV. 
 
 Peaches, and Peaching 
 
 V. 
 
 A Little Tiff 
 
 VI. 
 
 The Beauties of Nature 
 
 VII. 
 
 De Gustibus 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Bad Counsel 
 
 IX. 
 
 A Dog Violate 
 
 X. 
 
 An Upward Stroke 
 
 XI. 
 
 The Fine Arts 
 
 XII. 
 
 An Empty Pile ... 
 
 xm. 
 
 My Uncle begins 
 
 XIV. 
 
 And ends with a Moral 
 
 XV. 
 
 Moral Support 

 
 IV CONTENTS. 
 
 •HAPTKR PAGE 
 
 XVIT. True Father ... ... ... 206 
 
 XVllI. False Mother ... ... ... 218 
 
 XIX. Doe dem. Koe ... ... ... 232 
 
 XX. Aunt Parslow ... ... ... 246 
 
 XXI. A Tulip Bloom ... ... ... 261 
 
 XXII. CoLDPEPPER Hall ... ... 274 
 
 XXIIl. At Bay, and in the Bay ... ... 288
 
 KIT AKD kitty. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 UNCLE CORNY. 
 
 My name is Christopher Orchardson, of Sunburj 
 in Middlesex ; and I have passed through a 
 bitter trouble, which I will try to describe some- 
 how, both for my wife's sake and ray own, as. 
 well as to set us straight again in the opinion 
 of our neighbours ; which I have always valued 
 highly, though sometimes unable to show it. 
 It has not been in my power always to do the 
 thing that was wisest, and whenever this is 
 brought up against me, I can make no answer ; 
 only to beg those who love blame to look at 
 themselves, which will make their eyes grow 
 kinder, before they begin to be turned on me. 
 
 For five and twenty years of life, I went on 
 very happily, being, of an unambitious sort, and 
 
 VOL. I. B
 
 2 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 knowing neither plague nor pain, through the 
 strength of my constitution, and the easiness of 
 my nature. Most of my neighbours seemed to 
 live in perpetual lack of something; and if ever 
 they got it, they soon contrived to find some- 
 thing more to hanker for. There were times 
 when I felt that I must be a fool, or to say 
 the least a dullard, for slackness of perception, 
 which kept me satisfied with the life I had to 
 live. But two things may be pleaded well in 
 my excuse on this account ; in the first place, 
 all my time was spent among creatures of no 
 ambition — trees, and flowers, and horses, and 
 the like, that have no worry ; and what was 
 even to the purpose more, I had no money to 
 enlarge its love. 
 
 For my Uncle Cornelius — better known to all 
 who had dealings with him as " Corny, the 
 topper " — took care of me ; and his main care 
 was to make me useful, as an orphan should be. 
 Mv lather had been his elder brother, and had 
 married rashly a lady of birth and education far 
 above his own, but gifted with little else to help 
 her, unless it were sweetness of disposition, and 
 warmth of heart, and loveliness. These in a 
 world like ours are not of much account for 
 wearing ; and she had no chance to wear them
 
 UNCLE CORNY. 6 
 
 out, being taken away quite suddenly. My 
 life was given at the cost of hers ; and my 
 father, after lingering for a few months, took 
 his departure to look for her. 
 
 Old people said that my Uncle Corny had 
 been very fond of my mother, looking up to her 
 in his youthful days, as a wonder of grace and 
 goodness. And even now when he spoke about 
 her, as I have known him do after a tumbler of 
 grog, his hard gray eyes would glisten softly, 
 like the vinery glass of an afternoon, when a 
 spring cloud passes over it. But none the 
 more for that did he ever plant a shilling in my 
 youthful hand. This proves his due estimate of 
 money as a disadvantage to the young. 
 
 My Uncle possessed an ancient garden, which 
 had once belonged to a monastery ; and the 
 times being better than now they are, he was 
 enabled to work it so that he made fair living 
 out of it. We lived in an ancient cottage in 
 the fine old village of Sunbury, or rather to the 
 westward of that village, and higher up the 
 river. Our window looked upon the Thames, 
 with nothing more than the Shepperton road, 
 and the slope of the bank to look over. What 
 with water-works, grand villas, the railway, 
 and other changes, the place is now so different
 
 4 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 that a native may scarcely know it. But all 
 was thoroug'hly simple, quiet, and even dull to 
 lazy folk, in the days of which I am speaking. 
 
 My parents had managed to leave me so, or 
 had it so managed by a higher power, that from 
 my very infancy I was thrown upon Uncle 
 Corny. He was a masterful man indeed, being 
 of a resolute disposition, strong body, and stout 
 sentiments. There was no mistaking his mean- 
 ing when he spoke, and he spoke no more than 
 a man is bound to do, for his own uses. Those 
 who did not understand his nature said a great 
 deal against him, and he let them say it to 
 the width of their mouths. For he felt that he 
 was good inside, and would be none the better 
 for their meddling. 
 
 He was now about threescore years of age, 
 and wished himself no younger, having seen 
 enough of the world to know that to pass 
 through it once is quite enough. Few things 
 A-exed him much, except to find his things sold 
 below their value ; and that far less for the love 
 of money than from the sense of justice. But 
 when he was wronged — as all producers, being 
 one to a thousand, must be — he was not the man 
 to make a to-do, and write to the papers about 
 it. All he did was to drive his stick into the
 
 UNCLE CORNY. 5 
 
 floor, and look up at the ceiling". For his own 
 part he was quite ready to be proved in the 
 wrong, whenever he could see it ; and whatever 
 may be said, I can answer for it, there are more 
 men now than can be counted in a year, who 
 are under Uncle Corny's mark ; while an hour 
 would be ample for the names of those wh<j 
 would dare to look over my Uncle's head, when 
 he comes to be judged finally. 
 
 All this is too much of a preface for him. His 
 manner was always to speak for himself, and he 
 must become somebody else, ere ever he would 
 let his own nephew do it for him.
 
 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER ir. 
 
 MY KITTY. 
 
 The shape of a tree is not decided by the primer 
 only. When tlie leader is stopped, with an eye 
 towards the wind, and the branches clipped to 
 a nicety of experience and of forethought, and 
 the happy owner has said to it — " Now I defy 
 you to go amiss this season " — before he is up 
 in the morning perhaps, his lecture is flown, and 
 his labour lost. 
 
 My wise Uncle Corny had said to me, more 
 times than I can remember — " Kit, you are a 
 good boy, a very good boy, and likely to be 
 useful in my business by and by. But of one 
 thing beware — never say a word to women. 
 They never know what they want themselves ; 
 and they like to bring a man into the same 
 condition. What wonderful things I have seen 
 among the women ! And the only way out of 
 it is never to get into it."
 
 MY KITTY. 7 
 
 Tn answer to finis I never said a word, beins: 
 unable to contradict, thon,i>:b doubtful how far 
 he was right. But it made me more shy than 
 I was already, while at the same time it seemed 
 to fill me with interest in the matter. But the 
 only woman I had much to do with went a long; 
 way to confirm my Uncle's words. This was 
 no other than Tabitha Tapscott, a widow from 
 the West of Eui^land, who did all our cleaning; 
 and cookino; for us, coming into the house at 
 six o'clock in the summer, and seven in the 
 winter time. A strnn^-e little creature she 
 appeared to me, so different from us in all her 
 ways, making mountains of things that we 
 never noticed, and not at all given to silence. 
 
 Once or twice my Uncle Corny, after a glass 
 of hot rum and water (which he usually had on 
 a Saturday night, to restore him after paying 
 Avages) had spoken, in a strange mysterious 
 style, of having " had his time," or as he some- 
 times put it — " paid his footing." It was not 
 easy to make out his drift, or the hint at the 
 bottom of it ; and if any one tried to follow him 
 home, sometimes he would fly off into rudeness, 
 or if in a better vein, convey that he held his 
 tongue for the good of younger people. Such 
 words used to stir me sadly, because I could get 
 no more of them.
 
 ^ KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 However I began to feel more and more, as 
 youth perhaps is sure to do when it listens to 
 dark experience, as if I should like almost to go 
 through some of it on my own behalf. Not 
 expecting at all to leave it as a lesson for those 
 who come after me, but simply desiring to enter 
 into some knowledge of the thing forbidden. 
 For I knew not as yet that there is no pleasure 
 xich enough to satisfy the interest of pain. 
 
 It was on the first Sunday of September in 
 the year 1860, that I first left all my peaceful 
 ways, and fell into joy and misery. And 
 strangely enough, as some may think, it was in 
 the quiet evening service that the sudden change 
 befell me. That summer had been the wettest 
 ever known, or at any rate for four and forty 
 years ; as the old men said, who recalled the time 
 when the loaves served out to their fathers and 
 mothers stuck fast, like clay, upon the churchyard 
 wall. Now the river was up to the mark of the 
 road, and the meadows on the other side were 
 lakes, and even a young man was well pleased 
 to feel a flint under his foot as he walked. For 
 the road was washed with torrents, and all the 
 hedges reeking, and the solid truidvs of ancient 
 elms seemed to be channelled with perpetual 
 drip.
 
 MY KITTY. 9 
 
 But the sun began to sliine out of the clouds, 
 at his very last opportunity ; aud weak and 
 watery though he looked, with a bank of haze 
 beneath him, a soft relief of hope and comfort 
 filled the flooded valley. And into our old 
 western porch a pleasant light came quivering, 
 and showed us who our neighbours were, and 
 made us smile at one another. 
 
 As it happened now, my mind was full of a 
 certain bed of onions, which had grown so rank 
 and sappy, that we had not dared to harvest 
 them. And instead of right thoughts upon 
 entering church, I was saying to myself — " We 
 shall have a dry week, I do believe. I will pull 
 them to-morrow, and chance it." This will show 
 that what now Ijefell me came without any fault 
 of mine. 
 
 For just as the last bell struck its stroke, and 
 the ringer swang down on the heel of it, and 
 the murmur went floating among the trees, I 
 drew back a little to let the women pass, having 
 sense of their feeling about their dresses, which 
 is to be respected by every man. And in those 
 days they wore lovely flounces, like a bee-hive 
 trimmed with Venetian blinds. They had learned 
 a fine manner of twitching up these, whenever 
 they came to steps and stairs ; and while they
 
 JO KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 were at it they always looked round, to make 
 sure of no disarrangement. My respect for them 
 made me gaze over their heads, as if witliout 
 knowledge of their being there at all. Yet they 
 whispered freely to one another, desiring to 
 know if their ribands were right for the worship 
 of the Almighty. 
 
 Now as I gazed in a general style, being 
 timid about looking especially, there came into 
 my eyes, without any sense of moment, but 
 stealing unawares as in a vision, the fairest and 
 purest and sweetest picture that ever we'nt yet 
 from the eyes to the heart. To those who have 
 never known the like, it is hopeless to try to 
 explain it; and even to myself I cannot render, 
 by word or by thought, a mere jot of it. And 
 many would say, that to let things so happen, 
 the wits for the time must be out of their duty. 
 
 It may have been only a glance, or a turn of 
 the head, or the toss of a love-lock — whatever 
 it was, for me the world was a different place 
 thereafter. It was a lovely and gentle face, 
 making light in the gloom of the tower-arch, 
 and touched with no thought of its own appear- 
 ance, as other pretty faces were. I had never 
 dreamed that any maiden could have said so 
 much to me, as now came to me without a word.
 
 MY KITTY. 11 
 
 Wondering only about her, and feeling abashed 
 at my own footsteps, I followed softly up the 
 church, and scarcely knew the button of our own 
 pew-door. For Uncle Corny owned a pew, and 
 insisted upon having it, and would allow no 
 one to sit there, without his own grace and 
 \Aritten order. He never found it needful to go 
 to church on his own account, being a most 
 upright man ; but if ever he heard of any other 
 Christian being shown into his pew, he put on 
 his best clothes the next Sunday morning, and 
 repaired to the sacred building, with a black- 
 thorn staff which had a knob of obsidian. Such 
 a thing would now be considered out of date ; 
 but the church was the church, in those more 
 established times. Here I sat down in my usual 
 manner, to the best of my power, because I knew 
 how my neighbours would be watching nie ; and 
 saying my prayers into the bottom of my hat, 
 I resolved to remember where I was, and nothing 
 else. But this was much easier said than done ; 
 for the first face I met, upon looking round, was 
 that of Sam Henderson the racer, the owner of 
 the paddocks at Halliford, a young man who 
 thought a great deal of himself, and tried to 
 bring others to a like opinion. He was not 
 altogether a favourite of mine, although I knew
 
 12 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 nothing agninst him; for he loved showy colours, 
 and indulged in large fancies that all the young 
 women were in love with him. Now he gave 
 me a nod, although the ^ clergyman was speak- 
 ing, and following the turn of his eyes I was 
 vexed yet more with his behaviour. He was 
 gazing, as though with a lofty approval, and no 
 sort of fear in his bright black eyes, at the face 
 which had made me feel just now so lowly and 
 so worthless. 
 
 In the Manor-pew, which had been empty 
 nearly all the summer — for the weatlier had 
 driven our ladies abroad — there she sat, and it 
 made me feel as if hope was almost gone from 
 me. For I could not help knowing that Mrs. 
 Sheppard, who arranged all the worshippers 
 according to their rank, would never have shown 
 the young lady in there, unless she had been of 
 high standing. And almost before I was out 
 of that thought, my wits being quicker than 
 usual, it became quite clear to me, who she was 
 — or at any rate who was with her. From the 
 corner of the pew there came and stood before 
 her, as if to take general attention off, a highly 
 esteemed and very well dressed lady, Mrs. Jenny 
 Marker. This was the " lady housekeeper," as 
 everybody was bound to call her who hoped to
 
 MY KITTY. . 13 
 
 get orders, at Coldpepper Hall, herself a very 
 well-bred and most kind-hearted woman, to all 
 who considered her dig-nit3\ Having always 
 done this, I felt sure of her good word, and 
 hoping much too hastily that the young lady 
 was her niece, I made it feel perhaps less pre- 
 sumptuous on my part, to try to steal a glance 
 at her, whenever luck afforded. 
 
 Herein I found tumultuous bliss, until my 
 heart fell heavily. I was heeding very scantily 
 the reading of the Minister, and voices of the 
 Clerk and faitliful of the conoTe2:ation, when 
 suddenly there came the words, — "the dignity 
 of Princes." And then I knew, without think- 
 ing twice, that this young lady could never have 
 won the dignity of the Manor-pew, unless she had 
 been a great deal more than the niece of Jenny 
 Marker. In a moment too, my senses came to 
 back up this perception, and I began to revile 
 myself for thinking such a thought of her. Not 
 that Mrs. Marker was of any low condition, for 
 she wore two rings and a gold watch-chain,' and 
 was highly respected by every one ; but she 
 cheapened all the goods she bought, even down 
 to an old red herring, and she had been known 
 to make people take garden-stuff in exchange 
 for goods, or else forego her custom. Tlie
 
 14 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 memory of these things grieved me with my 
 own imagination. 
 
 I was very loth to go — as you will see was 
 natural — without so much as one good look at 
 the sweet face which had blessed me ; but every- 
 thing seemed to turn against me, and the light 
 grew worse and worse. Moreover Sam Hender- 
 son stared so boldly, having none of my diffidence, 
 that Mrs. Marker came forward sharply, and 
 jerked the rings of the red baize curtain, so that 
 he could see only that. At this he turned red, 
 and pulled up his collar, and I felt within myself 
 a glow of good-will for the punching of his head. 
 And perhaps he had grounds for some warm 
 feeling towards me, for the reason that I being 
 more to the left could still get a glimpse round 
 the corner of the curtain, which acted as a total 
 drop of scenery for him. 
 
 When the sermon was finished in its natural 
 course, the sky was getting very dark outside, 
 and the young men and women were on best 
 behaviour to take no advantage of the gloom in 
 going out. For as yet we iiad no great gas- 
 works, such as impair in the present generation 
 the romance and enlarofement of an evenins: 
 service. So that when we came forth, we were 
 in a frame of mind for thinking the best of one 
 another.
 
 ( ^5 ) 
 
 CHAPTER in. 
 
 THE TIMBER-BRIDGE. 
 
 By this time it had become clear to me, that 
 whatever my thoughts were and my longings — 
 such as those who are free from them call 
 romantic — there was nothing proper for me to 
 do, except to turn in at our own little gate, and 
 he satisfied with my own duty inside. And this 
 I was truly at the point of doing, although with 
 very little satisfaction, when the glancing of the 
 twilight down the road convinced me of adifferent 
 duty. To the westward there happened just 
 here to he a long stretch of lane without much 
 turn in it, only guided and overhung partly 
 with trees, and tufts of wild hops which were 
 barren this year. And throughout this long 
 course, which was wavering with gloom, a 
 watery gleam from the west set in, partly 
 perhaps from the flooded river, and partly from 
 the last glance of sunset.
 
 16 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 My hand was just laid upon our vvicket-latcb, 
 and my mind made up for no thinking, when 
 the figure of some one in the distance, like a 
 call-back signal, stopped me. I had not re- 
 turned, you must understand, by the shortest 
 jDOSsible way from church, which would have 
 taken me to Uncle Corny's door opposite the 
 river ; but being a little disturbed perhaps, and 
 desiring to walk it off quietly, had turned up to 
 the right towards the Halliford lane, to escape 
 any gossip, and come back through our garden. 
 And where I stood now, there was a view by 
 daylight of nearly half a mile of lane, and the 
 timber-bridge across the brook. 
 
 The lane was not quite straight, but still it 
 bent in such an obliging manner, first to the left 
 and then back to the right, that anything hap- 
 pening upon its course would be likely to come 
 into view from our gate. And I saw as plainly 
 as could be, although beyond shouting distance, 
 a man with his arms spread forth, as if to stop 
 or catch anybody going further, and nearer to 
 me the forms of women desirous to go on, but 
 frightened. It is not true that I stopped to think 
 for one moment who those women were ; but feel- 
 ing that they must be in the right, and the man 
 in the wrong as usual, without two endeavours
 
 THE TIMBER-BRIDGE. 17 
 
 I was running at full speed — and in those days 
 that was something — merely to help the right, 
 and stop the wrong. And in less time than it 
 takes to tell it, I was one of the party. Then 
 I saw that the ladies were Mrs. Marker, and the 
 lovely young maiden, who had been with her 
 in church. 
 
 " Oh, Master Orchardson, you will take our 
 part," Mrs. Marker cried, as she ran up to me ; 
 "you will take our part, as every good man 
 must. That bad man says that we shall not 
 cross the bridge, without — without — oh, it is too 
 dreadful ! " 
 
 " Without paying toll to me — this is kissing- 
 bridge, and the wood is now kissing the water. 
 'Tis a dangerous job to take ladies across. Kit, 
 you are come just in time to help. Let us have 
 toll at the outset, and double toll upon landing, 
 my boy. You take my lady Marker, Kit, 
 because she is getting heavy ; and I will take 
 Miss Fairthorn." 
 
 Sam Henderson spoke these words as if w^e 
 had nothing to do but obey him. Perhaps as 
 a man who was instructing horses, he had im- 
 bibed too much of the upper part. At any rate 
 I did not find it my duty to fall beneath his 
 ordering. And as if to make me stand to my 
 
 VOL. I. c
 
 18 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 own thoughts, the sweetest and most pitiful 
 glance that had ever come to meet me, came 
 straight to my heart from a shadowy nook, 
 where the beautiful maid was shrinking. 
 
 " Sam Henderson, none of this rubbish ! " I 
 shouted, for the roar of the water would have 
 drowned soft words. " It is a coward's job to 
 frighten women. A man should see first what 
 the danger is." 
 
 Before he could come up to strike me, as his 
 first intention seemed to be, I ran across the 
 timbers which were bowing and trembling, with 
 the strain upon the upright posts, as well as the 
 wash upon their nether sides. And I saw that 
 the risk was increasing with each moment, 
 for the dam at the bottom of Tim Osborne's 
 meadow, not more than a gunshot above us, 
 was beginning to yield, and the flood checked 
 by it was trembling like a trodden hay-rick. 
 Upon this I ran back, and said, " Now, ladies, 
 if cross you must, you must do it at once." 
 
 " Kit, you are a fool. There is no danger," 
 Sam Henderson shouted wrathfully. " Who is 
 the coward that frightens ladies now ? But if 
 you must poke in your oar without leave, you 
 go first with Mother Marker, and I will come 
 after you, with the young lady."
 
 THE TIMBER-BRIDGE. 19 
 
 The maiden shrank back from his hand, and 
 I saw that good Mrs. Marker was pained by his 
 words. " Mother Marker will go first," she said, 
 " but with no thanks to you, Mr. Henderson." 
 
 Her spirit was up, but her hands were 
 trembling, as I took her Prayer-book from them. 
 
 " I may be a fool, but I am not a cub," I 
 answered with a gaze that made Henderson 
 scowl ; "I would rather frighten ladies than 
 insult them. Now, Mrs. Marker, give me one 
 of your nice little hands, and have no fear." 
 
 The house-keeping lady put forth one hand, 
 with a tender look at it, because it had been 
 praised, and then she put forth one brave foot, 
 and I was only afraid of her going too fast. 
 The water splashed up between the three-inch 
 planks, for the lady was of some substance ; but 
 she landed very well, and back I ran to see 
 about her young companion. 
 
 " I will not go with you, sir ; I will go alone. 
 You do not behave like a gentleman," she was 
 crying in great distress, as I came up, and Sam 
 Henderson had hold of both her hands. This 
 enraged me so that I forgot good manners, 
 for I should not have done what I did before a 
 lady. I struck Sam heavily between the eyes, and 
 if I had not caught him by the collar, nothing
 
 20 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 could have saved him from falling through the 
 bush, into the deep eddy under the planks. As 
 soon as I had done it, I was angry with myself, 
 for Sam was not a bad fellow at all, when in his 
 best condition. But now there was no time to 
 dwell upon that, for the flood was arising and 
 rolling in loops, like the back of a cat who has 
 descried a dog. 
 
 " Now, or never. Miss," I cried ; " the dam 
 has given ; in a minute, this bridge will be swept 
 clean away." 
 
 She showed such bright sense as I never saw 
 before, and never can hope to see in anybody 
 else, however they may laugh through want of 
 it. Without a word, or even a glance at me, 
 she railed up her dress into a wondrous little 
 circle, and gave me a hand which I had not the 
 strength to think of, for fear of forgetting all 
 the world outside. Taking it gently in my 
 coarse hard palm, I said, " Come," and she came 
 like an angel. 
 
 As I led her across, all my gaze was upon 
 her ; and this was a good thing for both of us. 
 For a scream from Mrs. Marker, and a dreadful 
 shout from Sam — who came staggering up to 
 the brink and caught the handrail, just as we 
 were shaking upon the middle dip — these, and
 
 THE TIMBER-BRIDGE. 21 
 
 a great roar coming down the meadows, would 
 probably have taken all my wits away, if they 
 had been within me, as at ordinary times. But 
 heeding only that which I was holding, I went 
 in a leisurely and steady manner, which often 
 makes the best of danger, and set the maiden 
 safe upon the high stone at the end, and turned 
 round to see what was coming. 
 
 Before I had time to do this, it was upon me, 
 whirling me back with a blow of heavy timber, 
 and w^ashing me with all my best clothes on into 
 the hedge behind the lane. Then a rush of brown 
 water, like a drove of wild cattle leaping on one 
 another's backs, went by, and the bridge was 
 gone with it, like a straw hat in the wind. But 
 the stone upon which the young lady stood was 
 unmoved although surrounded, and I made signs 
 to her — for to speak was useless — to lay hold of 
 a branch which hung over her head. As she 
 did so, she smiled at me, even in that terror ; and 
 I felt that I would go through a thousandfold 
 the peril for the chance of being so rewarded. 
 
 Suddenly, as suddenly as it had mounted, the 
 bulk of the roaring flood fell again, and the 
 wreck of the handrail and some lighter spars of 
 the bridge hung dangling by their chains. And 
 soon as the peril was passed, it was hard to be-
 
 22 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 lieve that there had been much of it. But any 
 one listening to Mrs. Marker, as she came down 
 the hill when it was over, must have believed 
 that I had done something very gallant and 
 almost heroic. But I had done nothing more 
 than I have told ; and it is not very likely that 
 I would make too little of it. 
 
 " Brave young man ! " cried Mrs. Marker, 
 panting, and ready to embrace me, if I had only 
 been dry ; " you have saved our lives, and I 
 would say it, if it were my last moment. Miss 
 Kitty, I never saw such valour. Did you ever, 
 in all your life, dear ? " 
 
 " Never, dear, never ! Though I had not the 
 least idea what this gentleman was doing, till he 
 had done it. Oh, he must be sadly knocked 
 about. Let me come down, and help him." 
 
 " He put you up there, and he shall fetch you 
 down. Nobody else has the right to do it. Mr. 
 Orchardson, don't be afraid ; assist her." 
 
 Now this shows how women have their wits 
 about them, even at moments most critical. 
 The housekeeper had fled with no small alacrity, 
 when the flood came roaring ; and now with equal 
 promptitude she had returned, and discovered 
 how best to reward me. 
 
 " I think you might give me a hand," said
 
 THE TIMBER-BRIDGE. 23 
 
 the young lady, still mounted ou the high 
 stone with our parish-mark, upon which by 
 some instinct I had placed her. 
 
 " I cannot ; I am trembling like an aspen-leaf," 
 Mrs. Marker replied, though she looked firm 
 enough ; " but our gallant preserver is as strong 
 as he is brave. Don't be afraid of his touching 
 you, because he is a little damp. Miss Kitty." 
 
 This was truly clever of her, and it stopped 
 all reasoning. With a glance of reproach, the 
 maiden gathered her loosened cloak more tightly, 
 and then gave me both her hands and sprang ; 
 and I managed it so that she slid down into my 
 arms. This was not what she intended, but 
 there was no help for it, the ground being very 
 slippery after such a flood. She seemed lighter 
 than a feather, and more buoyant than a cork ; 
 though some of that conclusion perhaps was due 
 to my impressions. Be that either way, I could 
 never have believed that anything so lovely 
 would be ever in my hold ; and the power of it 
 drove away my presence of mind so badly, that 
 I was very near forgetting the proper time for 
 letting go. 
 
 And this was no wonder, when I came to 
 think about it ; the only wonder was that I 
 could show such self-command. For the breath
 
 24 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 of her lips was almost on mine, and her blushes 
 so near that I seemed to feel their glow, and the 
 deep rich blue of her eyes so close that they 
 were like an opening into heaven. My entire 
 gift of words was gone, and I knew not what I 
 did or thought. 
 
 But suddenly a shout — or a speech if one 
 could take it so — of vulgar insolence and jea- 
 lousy most contemptible, broke on my lofty con- 
 dition. Sam Henderson had been left in black 
 dudgeon on the other side of the water, and the 
 bridge being swept away, he could not get at 
 us. We had forgotten all about him ; however 
 he had managed to run away, when the great 
 billow came from the bursting of the sluice ; 
 and now he showed his manners and his thank- 
 fulness to God, by coming to the bank and 
 shouting, while he grinned, and clapped his 
 hands in mockery — 
 
 "Kit, and Kitty! Kit and Kitty! That's 
 what I call coming it strong ; and upon a Sun- 
 day evening ! Mother Marker, do you mean to 
 put up with that ? See if I don't tell your 
 Missus. Kit, and Kitty ! Oh Lord, oh Lord ! 
 'Tis as good as a play, and we don't get much 
 of that sort of fun in Sunbury. Holloa ! What 
 the deuce "
 
 THE TIMBEE-BRIDGE. 25 
 
 His speech was ended, for I had caught up a 
 big dollop of clod from the relics of the flood, 
 and delivered it into his throat so truly that his 
 red satin fall and mock- diamond pin — which 
 were tenfold more sacred to him than the Sab- 
 bath — were mashed up into one big lump of 
 mud, together with the beard he cherished. 
 Labouring to utter some foul words, he shook 
 his fist at me, and departed.
 
 26 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER lY. 
 
 PEACHES, AND PEACHING. 
 
 Theke seem to be many ways of taking the 
 very simplest fact we meet ; and if any man 
 was sure to take things by his own light, it was 
 my good Uncle. When a friend, or even a 
 useful neighbour, offered a free opinion, my 
 Uncle Cornelius would look at him, say never a 
 word, but be almost certain to go downright 
 against that particular view. One of his favourite 
 sayings was, " Every man has a right to his own 
 opinion," although he was a strict Conservative 
 — and of that right he was so jealous, that he 
 hated to have his opinions shared. And this 
 was a very lucky thing for me, as I cannot help 
 seeing and saying. 
 
 For the very next morning, a neighbour came 
 in (when I was gone prowling, I need not say 
 where) and having some business, he told Tabby 
 Tapscott to show him where her master was
 
 PEACHES, AND PEACHING. 27 
 
 most likely to be found. This gentleman was 
 Mr. Easp, the baker, who kept two women, a man, 
 and a boy, and did the finest trade in Sunbury. 
 And what he wanted now was to accept my 
 Uncle's offer, at which he had hum'd and hawed 
 a week ago, of ten sacks of chat potatoes at 
 fifteen pence a bushel, for the purpose of mixing 
 with his best white bread. By the post of that 
 morning Mr. Easp had heard from the great 
 flour-mills at Uxbridge, that good grindings 
 were gone up six shillings a quarter, and sure 
 to be quoted still higher next week, by reason 
 of the cold wet harvest. But he did not intend 
 to tell Uncle Corny this. 
 
 That excellent gardener was under his big 
 wall, which had formed part of the monastic 
 enclosure, and was therefore the best piece of 
 brickwork in the parish, as well as a warm 
 home and sure fortress to the peach and necta- 
 rine. This wall had its aspect about 'S.S.E., 
 the best that can be for fruit-trees, and was 
 flanked with return-walls at either end ; and 
 the sunshine, whenever there seemed to be any, 
 was dwelling and blushing in this kind em- 
 brace. The summers might be bitter — as they 
 generally are — but if ever a peach donned 
 crimson velvet in the South of England out of
 
 28 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 doors, it was sure to be sitting upon this old red 
 wall and looking out for Uncle Corny. 
 
 Mr. Cornelius Orchardson, as most people 
 called him when they tried to get his money, 
 glanced over his shoulder when he heard the 
 baker coming, and then began to drive a nail 
 with more than usual care. Not that he ever 
 drove any nail rashly, such an act was for- 
 bidden by his constitution ; but that he now 
 was in his deepest calm, as every man ought to 
 be in the neighbourhood of a bargain. His 
 manner was always collected and dry, and his 
 words quite as few as were needful ; and he 
 never showed any desire to get the better of 
 any one, only a sense of contentment, whenever 
 he was not robbed. This is often the case with 
 broad-shouldered people, if they only move 
 quietly and are not flurried ; and my good 
 Uncle Corny possessed in his way every one of 
 these elements of honesty. 
 
 " Good morning, Mr. Orchardson ! " said Rasp 
 the baker. " What a pleasure it is to see a 
 glimpse of sun at last ! And what a fine 
 colour these red bricks do give you ! " 
 
 "As good as the bakehouse," said my Uncle 
 shortly. " But look out where you are tread- 
 ing, Rasp. I want every one of them straw-
 
 PEACHES, AND PEACHING. 29 
 
 berry-runners. What brings you here ? I am 
 rather busy now." 
 
 " Well, I happened to see as your door was 
 open, so I thought I'd just jog your memory, to 
 have them potatoes put up in the dry, while 
 I've got my copper lighted." 
 
 " Potatoes ! Why, you would not have them, 
 Rasp. You said fifteen pence a bushel was a 
 deal too much, and potatoes were all water such 
 a year as this. And now I've got a better 
 customer." 
 
 " Well, it don't matter much either way," 
 said the baker ; " but I always took you, Mr. 
 Orchardson, to be a man of your word, sir — a 
 man of your word." 
 
 " So I am. But I know what my words are ; 
 and we came to no agreement. Your very last 
 words were — 'A shilling, and no more.' Can 
 you deny that, Rasp ? " 
 
 "Well, I didn't put it down, sir, and my 
 memory plays tricks. But I told my wife that 
 it was all settled ; and she said, ' Oh, I do like to 
 deal with Mr. Orchardson, he gives such good 
 measure.' So I brought round the money in 
 this little bag, thirty-seven shillings and six- 
 pence. Never mind for a receipt, sir; every- 
 body knows what you are."
 
 30 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 " Yes, so they do," answered Uncle Corny ; 
 " they'd rather believe me than you, Master 
 baker. Now how much is flour gone up this 
 morning, and floury potatoes to follow it ? 
 Never a chat goes out of my gate, under one and 
 sixpence a bushel." 
 
 " This sort of thing is too much for me. 
 There is something altogether wrong with the 
 times. There is no living to be made out of 
 them." Mr. Easp shook his head at the peaches 
 on the wall, as if they were dainties, he must 
 not dare to look at. 
 
 " Easp, you shall have a peach," declared my 
 Uncle Corny, for he was a man who had come 
 to a good deal of wisdom ; " you shall have the 
 best peach on the whole of this wall, and that 
 means about the best in England. I will not 
 be put out with you, Easp, for making a fine 
 effort to cheat me. You are a baker ; and you 
 cannot help it." 
 
 If any other man in Sunbury was proud of 
 his honesty, so was Easp ; and taking this 
 speech as a compliment to it, he smiled and 
 pulled a paper-bag from his pocket, to receive 
 the best peach on the wall for his wife. 
 
 " What a difference one day's sun has made ! 
 At one time I doubted if they would colour, for
 
 PEACHES, AND PEACHING-. 31 
 
 it is the worst summer I have known for many 
 years. But they were all ready, as a maiden is 
 to blnsh, when she expects her sweetheart's 
 name. With all my experience, I could scarcely 
 have believed it ; what a change since Saturday ! 
 But 'live and learn' is the gardener's rule. 
 Galande, the best peach of all, in my opinion, 
 is not yet ripe ; but Grosse Mignonne is, and 
 though rather woolly in a year like '57, it is 
 first-rate in a cool season. Observe the red 
 spots near the caudal cavity — why bless my 
 heart. Rasp, I meant that for your wife ! " 
 
 " My wife has a very sad toothache to-day, 
 and she would never forgive me if I made it 
 worse. But what wonderful things they are to 
 run ! 
 
 This baker had a gentle streak of juice in 
 either runnel of his chin, which was shaped 
 like a well-fed fieur-de-lis ; and he wi]3ed it all 
 dry with the face of the bag, upon which liis 
 own name was printed. 
 
 " I knows a good thing, when I sees it ; and 
 that's more than a woman in a hundred does. 
 Don't believe they can taste, or at least very 
 few of them. Why, they'd sooner have tea 
 than a glass of good beer ! Howsoever, that's 
 nought to do with business. Mr. Orchardson,
 
 32 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 what's your lowest figure ? With a wall of 
 fruit coming on like them, sixpence apiece and 
 some thousands of them, you mustn't be hard 
 on a neighbour." 
 
 My Uncle sat down on his four-legged stool 
 (which had bars across the feet, for fear of sink- 
 ing, when the ground was spongy), and he pulled 
 his bag of vamp-leather to the middle of his 
 waistcoat, and felt for a shred and a nail. He 
 had learned that it never ends in satisfaction, if 
 a man grows excited in view of a bargain, or 
 even shows any desire to deal. Then he put up 
 his elbow, and tapped the nail in, without 
 hitting it hard, as the ignorant do. 
 
 " Come, I'll make a fair offer," the baker ex- 
 claimed, for he never let business do justice to 
 itself; "an offer that you might call handsome, 
 if you was looking at it in a large point of view. 
 I'll take fifty bushels at fifteen pence, pick 'em 
 over myself, for the pigs and the men ; and if 
 any crusty people turn up, why here I am ! " 
 
 " Rasp, you make a very great mistake," said 
 my Uncle, turning round upon his stool, and 
 confronting him with strong honesty, " if you 
 suppose that I have anything to do with the use 
 you make of my potatoes. I sell you my goods 
 for the utmost I can get, and you take good
 
 PEACHES, AND PEACHING. 33 
 
 care that it is very little. What you do with 
 them afterwards is no concern of mine. I owe 
 you no thanks, and you know me not from 
 Adam, the moment you have paid me. This is 
 the doctrine of free-trade — you recognise every- 
 thing, except men." 
 
 " Tell you what it is," replied the baker ; 
 " sooner than vex you, Mr. Orchardson, I'll give 
 sixteen pence all round, just as they come out of 
 the row. Who could say fairer than that now?" 
 
 " Eighteen is the money. Not a farthing 
 under. From all that I can hear, it will be 
 twenty pence to-morrow. Why, here's another 
 fine peach fit to come ! I shall send it to youT 
 wife, and tell her you ate hers," 
 
 The gardener merrily nailed away, while the 
 baker was working his hands for nothing. 
 *' You would never do such a thing as that," he 
 said ; " a single man have no call to understand 
 a woman ; but he knows what their nature is, 
 or why did he avoid them? My wife is as 
 good a woman as can be ; but none of them was 
 ever knov^n to be quite perfect. If it must be 
 eighteen, it must — and I'll take fifty." 
 
 " Ah, couldn't I tell you a bit of news ? " said 
 the baker, as he counted out the money. "You 
 are such a silent man, Mr. Orchardson, that a 
 
 VOL. I. JD
 
 34 KIT :AND KITTY. 
 
 man of the world is afraid of you. And the 
 young fellow, your own nevvy — well, he may 
 take after you in speech, but not about the 
 ladies — ah, you never would believe it ! " 
 
 " Well then, keep it to yourself, that's all. 
 I don't want to hear a word against young Kit, 
 And what's more — if I heard fifty, I wouldn't 
 believe one of them." 
 
 " No more wouldn't I. He's as steady a 
 young fellow as ever drove a tax-cart. And so 
 quiet in his manners, why, you wouldn't think 
 that butter " 
 
 " His mother was a lady of birth and breed- 
 ing. That's where he gets his manners from ; 
 though there's plenty in our family, for folk that 
 deserve them. Out with your news, man, what- 
 ever it is." 
 
 " Well, it don't go again him much," the 
 baker replied, with some fear — for my Uncle's 
 face was stern, and the wall-hammer swung in 
 his brown right hand ; " and indeed you might 
 take it the other way, if he had done it all on 
 his road home from church. You know the 
 bridge over the Halliford brook, or at least where 
 it was, for it's all washed away, as you heard 
 very likely this morning. What right had your 
 nevvy there, going on for dark ? "
 
 PEACHES, AND PEACHING. 35 
 
 f 
 
 My Uncle was a rather large-minded man ; 
 but without being loose, or superior. " Rasp, if 
 it comes to that," he said, " what right have you 
 and I to be anywhere ? " 
 
 " That's neither here nor there," answered 
 the baker, having always been a man of business ; 
 '' but wherever I go, I pay my way. However 
 your Kit was down there, and no mistake. 
 What you think he done ? He punched Sam 
 Henderson's head to begin with, for fear of him 
 giving any help, and then he jumped into the 
 water, that was coming like a house on fire from 
 Tim Osborne's dam, and out of it he pulled 
 Mother Marker, and the pretty young lady as 
 had been in church." 
 
 " Kit can swim," said my Uncle shortly. " It 
 is a very dangerous trick to learn, being bound 
 to jump in, whenever any one is drowning. Did 
 the womea go in, for him to pull them out ? " 
 
 " Ah, you never did think much of them, 
 Mr. Corny ; but you never had no inskin ex^ 
 perience. Take 'em all round, they are pretty 
 nigh as good as we are. But they never jumped 
 in — no, you mustn't say that. They were bound 
 to go home, and they were doing of it, till the 
 flood took their legs from under them. Mrs. 
 Marker have been, this very morning, convert-
 
 \ 
 
 36 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 ing along of my good missus, and was likely to 
 stop when I was forced to come away, and you 
 should hear her go on about your Kit ! And 
 nobody knows if she has any friends. I am 
 told when her time comes to go to heaven, she 
 will have the disposal of four hundred pounds." 
 " You be off to your wife ! " cried Uncle 
 Corny ; " Mrs. Marker is quite a young woman 
 yet, but old enough to have discovered what men 
 are. Gro to your work. Rasp. I hate all gossip. 
 But I am glad that Kit thrashed Sam Hen- 
 derson."
 
 { 37 ) 
 
 CHAPTER Y. 
 
 A LITTLE TIFF. 
 
 Everybody knows, as he reads his newspaper, 
 that nothing has ever yet happened in the 
 world with enough of precision and accuracy to 
 get itself described, by those who saw it, in the 
 same, or in even a similar manner. No wonder 
 then that my little adventure — if I have any 
 right to call it mine — presented itself in many 
 different lights, not only to the people among 
 whom it spread, but even to the few who were 
 present there and then. Mrs. Jenny Marker's 
 account of what had happened was already very 
 grand, that Sunday eve ; but as soon as she had 
 slept and dreamed upon it, her great command 
 of words proved unequal to the call made at the 
 same moment by the mind and heart. Every- 
 body listened, for her practice was to pay every 
 little bill upon a Monday morning ; and almost 
 everybody was convinced that she was right.
 
 38 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 "Miraculous is the only word that lean think 
 of," she said to Mrs. Cutthumb, who sold tin- 
 tacks and cabbages ; " not a miracle only of the 
 sandy desert, but of the places where the trees 
 and waters grow." 
 
 " The Jordan perhaps you means, Mrs. 
 Marker, ma'am ? Or did you please to have in 
 your mind the Red Sea ? " 
 
 " They were both in ray mind, and both 
 come uppermost at the same moment, Mrs. 
 Cutthumb. But the best authorities inform us 
 now, that we must not look for more than we 
 can understand. Yet I cannot understand, how 
 Kit Orchardson contrived after pulling me out 
 to pull out our Miss Kitty. But look, here he 
 comes ! Why, he is everywhere almost. He 
 seems to swing along so. His uncle ought to 
 work him harder. Not that he is impudent. 
 No one can say that of him. Too bashful for a 
 man, in my opinion. But he seems to have 
 taken such a liking to me ; and I must be his 
 senior by a considerable time. I will go into 
 your parlour, my dear Mrs. Cutthumb, and then 
 I can look out for our poor Miss Kitty — ah, she 
 is so very young, and no one to stand up for 
 her ! " 
 
 " Excuse me, Miss Marker, if you please,"
 
 A LITTLE TIFF. 39 
 
 said Mrs. Catthumb ; " but if I may make so bold 
 to say, you are very young yourself. Miss, in 
 years, though not in worship. And to be run 
 away with from school is a thing that may occur 
 to any girl when bootiful. But concerning of 
 Miss Kitty — bless her innocent young face ! — 
 what you was pleased to say, ma'am, is most 
 surprising." 
 
 "No, Mrs. Cutthumb, very far from that, 
 wben you come to consider what human nature 
 is. I never could do such things myself; I 
 never could sleep easy in my bed, if I thought 
 that they ever could be imputed to me. But 
 when we look at things, it is our duty to re- 
 member that the world is made up of different 
 people from what we are." 
 
 " What experience you have had, ma'am, and 
 yet keeping your complexion so ! Ah, if my 
 poor Cutthumb could have kept away from the 
 imperial ! But he said it were the duty of a 
 Briton, and he done it. Sally, get away into 
 the back yard, with your dolly. I beg your 
 pardon, ma'am, for interrupting you of your 
 words so." 
 
 " Well, one thing I make a point of is," Mrs. 
 Marker continued with a gentle frown, " never 
 to enter into any domestic affairs, though with-
 
 40 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 out any bias of any sort, out of doors. We all 
 have enough, as you know, Mrs. Cutthumb, and 
 sometimes more than we can manage, to regulate 
 our own histories. Miss Coldpepper is a remark- 
 able lady, so very, so highly superior ; but her 
 niece, our Miss Kitty, does not seem as yet to 
 take after her in that particular ; and scarcely to 
 be wondered at, when you remember that she is 
 not her niece at all of rights. But this is not 
 a question to interest you much, nor any one 
 outside of what I might call the Coldpepper 
 domesticity." 
 
 " What superior words you always do have, 
 as it were in your muff, Mrs. Marker ! But if 
 you please to mean, Miss — being still so young 
 I slips into it naturally — the Coldpepper Manor, 
 why I was born upon it, and so was my parents 
 before me. And that makes it natural, as you 
 might say, and proper for me to have a word 
 to say about them. I remember all the Cold- 
 peppers, since I was that high ; and it shall 
 never go no further." 
 
 " There is nothing to conceal. You must 
 never fancy that of them. Tlie Coldpeppers 
 always were a haughty race and headstrong ; 
 but bold, and outspoken, and defying of their 
 neighbours. It was bad for any one who crossed
 
 A LITTLE TIFF. 41 
 
 them ; you know that, if you remember old 
 Squire Nicholas. But Miss Kitty Fairthorn is 
 not a Coldpepper. You see you don't know 
 everything about them, Mrs. Cutthumb. The 
 Captain had been married, before he ever saw 
 Miss Monica." 
 
 " Lor', Mrs. Marker, you quite take my breath 
 away ! And yet I might have known it, I was 
 bound almost to know it, the moment one comes 
 to reflection. ' Kitty's ' not a name at all 
 becoming to the rank of the Manor of Cold- 
 pepper. I've been wondering about it many's 
 the time; Arabella and Monica sounds something 
 like ; but Kitty isn't fit, except for women that 
 has to get their own livelihood. Well, it eases 
 my mind that she is not a Coldpepper." 
 
 " No, Mrs. Cutthumb ; but she is a Fairthorn ; 
 and from all I hear the Fairthorns are much 
 better known, in the great world of London, than 
 our Coldpeppers. Captain Fairthorn is a man 
 who has discovered more than the whole world 
 knew in our fathers' days. He can make a bell 
 ring in John o'Grroat's house, he can blow up a 
 cliff at the Land's End from London, he knows 
 every wrinkle at the bottom of the sea, he can 
 make a ghost stand at eight corners of a room." 
 
 " Can he save his own soul, ma'am ? " the
 
 42 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 greengrocer asked in a solemn voice, being a 
 strict Weslejan. " Them vanities, falsely called 
 Science nowadays, is the depth of the snare of 
 the Evil One. A learned man knows all the 
 bottom of the sea, and leaves his own child to 
 be drownded in a brook, without it was for 
 young Kit Orchardson. Can he save his own 
 soul, Mrs. Marker, ma'am ? " 
 
 " Well, if I was to go by guesswork, I 
 should say that he has not got very much of 
 that to call his own. You know what Miss 
 Monica was ; although she has been such a time 
 away from Sunbury. She took her first husband 
 in spite of her father, and the second without 
 a word to anybody. She had a son and two 
 daughters by the Honourable Tom Bulwrag, 
 and within a year after him she carried off 
 poor ..Captain, who is now called Professor 
 Fairthorn. But there, I am told, though I 
 never set eyes on him, being made up of tele- 
 graphs, and batteries, and magnesia, and a 
 thing they call hiderography, he is hardly ever 
 at home for a week together, and knows more 
 about the ocean's bed than about his own. 
 And a lucky thing for him ; for wouldn't 
 she be a nagger, if ever she could get the 
 opportunity ? "
 
 A LITTLE TIFF. 43 
 
 " That seems to be most unnatural, and 
 against the will of the Almighty," Mrs. Cut- 
 thumb replied after serious thought, " that a 
 lady should wish to reprove her husband, and 
 yet find no ear to put it into. With all his 
 inventions for doing away distance, he ought to 
 be able to manage it." 
 
 "It would make no difference^ if he did, and 
 could she expect him to pay for it ? His mind 
 is so taken up when he is at home, that she might 
 as well go on at the bedpost. And if he was 
 to open up his wires, it would be at his discre- 
 tion to receive it all. This makes her rather 
 harsh, as you can understand, with any one 
 that has no help for it. And our poor Miss 
 Kitty being always in the way, and a rival as 
 it were to her own children, oh she does know 
 what pepper is, hot and cold, and every colour ! " 
 
 " Poor lamb ! And she do look so innocent 
 and sweet, and so deserving of a real mother. 
 No father to look after her, by your own 
 account, ma'am, and a step-mother doing it 
 according to her liking. Why don't she run 
 away, such a booty as she is ? " 
 
 "She is too sweet-tempered and well-principled 
 for that. And she thinks all the world of her 
 father ; all the more, no doubt, because he cannot
 
 44 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 attend to her. His time is too precious for him 
 to mind his daughter. Not that he is money- 
 making — far the other way. Those great dis- 
 coverers, as I have heard say, are the last to 
 discover the holes in their pockets. Money, 
 Mrs. Cutthumb, has been too long discovered 
 for him to take any heed of it. And that 
 makes another source of trouble in the house- 
 hold. To think of our sending the big carriage 
 and two footmen, to find a young lady in the 
 third class at Feltham ! I took care to keep it 
 from Miss Coldpepper." 
 
 " Oh, it would have been shocking," cried the 
 widow with her hands up. " Why, the tliird 
 class ain't good enough for a dead pig to drain 
 in, any ways on the South- Western line. Well, 
 ma'am, and how did Miss Coldpepper take it ? " 
 
 " Of these things I never speak out of the 
 house. We are liable to err, the very best of 
 us I believe, and I know it from my own 
 feelings. Those last twenty boxes of Star 
 matches we had from you, Mrs. Cutthumb, 
 were stars, and no mistake. Shooting stars 
 they should be labelled. They go off" like a 
 cannon. I have had to pay for three new 
 aprons, and it was a mercy they didn't set the 
 house afire."
 
 A LITTLE TIFF. 45 
 
 " Oh, they hussies — they never know how to 
 strike them ; and your Miss Coklpepper, she 
 does change so often. Never so much as a 
 month, ma'am, without some of them giving 
 warning." 
 
 " That is no concern of yours, Mrs. Cut- 
 thumb. If you speak in this low style of Cold- 
 pepper Manor, it will have to withdraw its 
 custom, ma'am, from your — your little establish- 
 ment." 
 
 Mrs. Jenny Marker, as she spoke thus, 
 gathered in her jacket, which was plaited with 
 blue velvet, — because she was proud of her 
 figure, or at least so some people said who could 
 not well get at her pockets — and although she 
 meant no more by this than to assert her own 
 dignity, Mrs. Cutthumb, with all the fine 
 feelings of a widow, was naturally hurt, and 
 showed it. And strange enough to say, though 
 it seems such a trifle, what ensued made a very 
 great difference to me. 
 
 " I am truly grieved, madam," she said with 
 a curtsey, " that ray little house, which is the 
 best I can afford, and my little shop, which was 
 set up for me by very kind neighbours as 
 owned no manors, when it pleased the Almighty 
 to afflict me so, and deprive me of a good man
 
 46 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 who could always pay his rent, and never would 
 allow me to be put upon " 
 
 " A model husband, no doubt, Mrs. Cut- 
 thumb ; except as I fancy you observed just 
 now, for his devotion to the imperial pint, — 
 or perhaps I should say gallon." 
 
 " May you never have a worse, if you ever 
 catches any 1 And high time in life, ma'am, 
 for you, Miss Jenny Marker, or Mrs. whichever 
 you may be, and nobody in Sunbury knows the 
 bottom of it, to be thinking a little now of your 
 soul, ma'am, and less of your body, and the other 
 things that perish. You draw in your cloak, 
 ma'am, or it isn't a cloak, nothing so suit- 
 able and sensible as that, just as if my poor 
 goods wasn't good enough to touch it ! Per- 
 haps that's the reason why you beats them 
 down so. I beg you to remember, Jenny Mar- 
 ker, that I consider myself as good as you are, 
 madam, though I am not tricked out with gew- 
 gaws and fal-lals. And what I eats, I earns, 
 ma'am, and not the bread of servitude." 
 
 " That will do, my good woman. I never 
 lose my temper ; though I have never been 
 insulted before like this, even by the lowest 
 people. Send in your little bill, this very 
 afternoon, if one of your wonderful neighbours
 
 A LITTLE TIFF. 47 
 
 will be good enough to make it out for you, as 
 you have never been taught to write, poor 
 thing ! But whoever does it must not forget 
 to deduct the price of three rotten French 
 
 eggs."
 
 48 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER YI. 
 
 THE BEAUTIES OF NATURE. 
 
 While that bitter war was raging, I enjoyed 
 a peaceful and gentle season. It happened that 
 I had come up our village, on a matter of strict 
 business, at a time of day not at all unlikely to 
 be the very time of day mentioned overnight, 
 as the one which would suit Mrs. Marker and 
 Miss Fairthorn for doing a little business in 
 our village. This might be explained, without 
 any imputation on any one I have the pleasure 
 of knowing, for all of them will admit at once 
 that it needs no explanation. It is enough to 
 say, that when I had the honour of seeing two 
 ladies safe home last night, after pulling them 
 out of the flood — as they both maintained, 
 though never in it — no little gratitude had 
 been expressed, and much good-will had been 
 felt all round. And it would have been hard
 
 THE BEAUTIES OF NATURE. 49 
 
 upon that state of things, if any " Good-bye " 
 had been said for ever. 
 
 For my part, although I had no great fear of 
 being knocked on the head by Sam Henderson, 
 it might have seemed haughty and even un- 
 feehug, if I had insisted too strongly upon my 
 ability to take care of myself. Therefore I 
 allowed them to consider me in peril ; and to this 
 I was partly indebted perhaps for the oppor- 
 tunity of meeting them on Monday. It is true 
 that I had not learned half as much, about 
 matters of the deepest interest to me, as Mrs. 
 Cutthumb, without any claim to such know- 
 ledge, was now possessed of; but this might 
 fairly be expected, for women have always been 
 convinced that men have no right to know 
 half as much as themselves. " Let him find 
 it out, I am not going to tell him," is their 
 too frequent attitude, while they feel it a duty 
 to their own sex to pour out almost every- 
 thing. 
 
 However, I have no desire to complain, and 
 perhaps it is better thus; for if we knew all of 
 their affairs, we might think less about them. 
 And I was in a very deep condition of interest 
 and wonder, not only from the hints I had 
 received, but also from the manifold additions 
 
 VOL. I. E
 
 50 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 of my faucj. In fact, it was far more than I 
 could do, to confine my heart to its proper work, 
 when I saw those two ladies come to do a little 
 shopping. 
 
 At that time, there were only ahout a dozen 
 of the houses, in the narrow street that runs 
 along the river, which allowed the importance 
 of selling to compete with tlie necessity of 
 dwelling. And the few, that did appear in- 
 clined to do a little trade, if coaxed into it, 
 were half ashamed of their late concession to 
 the spirit of the age. No man had yet appeared 
 who shatters the ancestral sense of congruity, 
 who routs up the natives, as a terrier bullies 
 mastiffs, and scarcely even leaves them their 
 own bones. And it may be maintained, that 
 people got things better^ and found them last 
 longer than they ever do now. And this was 
 only natural, because it always took a much 
 longer time to buy them. 
 
 This enabled me to take my time about my 
 own business, without any risk of being left be- 
 hind by the lady housekeeper and her fair com- 
 panion. From time to time I assured myself 
 by a glance between flower-pots, or among 
 drapery, that my quest was not gone astray, 
 that as 3"et I had not lost all that I cared to see,
 
 THE BEAUTIES OF NATURE. 51 
 
 and that I could keep in ray own background, 
 while thinking of things far beyond me. 
 
 It never had been my manner yet to be much 
 afraid of anything ; not that I stood at all upon 
 my valour, but simply because, to the best of 
 my knowledge, I had no enemy anywhere. 
 Yet now, very much to my own surprise, 
 instead of proper courage, I was full of little 
 doubts, and more misgivings than I can at all 
 describe, and even a tendency to run away, and 
 try to forget the very thing I was longing for. 
 And I knew for a certainty that if the matter 
 came to the very best opportunity, I was quite 
 sure to do my very worst, and cut a despicable 
 figure, to my own undoing. 
 
 I tried to recover myself,' by doing a few 
 strokes of business on my own account, going 
 into the butcher's, and complaining sadly that he 
 now weighed the foot in with the leg of mutton 
 — a privilege only to be claimed by lamb — but 
 he said that it now was ordained by nature, 
 and asked how I expected a poor sheep to walk. 
 I knew that his logic would not go upon all- 
 fours, but my wits were so loose that I let it 
 pass ; and at that very moment I discovered, 
 betwixt the hearts of two bullocks, something 
 very near my own. Miss Kitty Fairthorn had
 
 52 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 been set free by Mrs. Jenny Marker, while the 
 housekeeper was driving a bargain in soft 
 goods, unfit for young comprehension. After 
 that, she was to go on for a talk with Widow 
 Cutthumb, and meanwhile the young lady 
 might look at the river, which was now rolling 
 grandly in turbulent flood. 
 
 It was rather a shy and a delicate thing for 
 me to go also in that direction ; and the butcher 
 (who never confined his attention to his own 
 mutton) was as sure as could be to come out of 
 his door, and look all up the lane. For Sunbury 
 people, as long as I have known them, take a 
 deep interest in one another's doings ; and all 
 the more so, when they happen to perceive that 
 their S3a'npathy is not requested. Wherefore I 
 hurried back to ask another question, as if 
 there were nothing in my mind but meat, and 
 then turned up an alley, which would lead me 
 round the back of some houses to the Halliford 
 road further on. 
 
 There were many things now that I might 
 have done, more sensible haply than what I did. 
 I might have gone home, and had bread and 
 cheese, and a glass of mild ale with Uncle 
 Corny ; or if that had seemed a little too 
 ignoble, why not wander along the upper road,
 
 THE BEAUTIES OF NATURE. 53 
 
 and thence survey, as from a terrace — which used 
 to be the origin of the word " contemplate " — 
 the many distant mazes of the flooded river, the 
 trees along the margin bowing over their 
 foundations, the weak smile of autumnal sun- 
 shine over the wrongs of its own. neglect, and 
 perhaps in the foreground a slender figure, 
 standing as if it were nothing in the mass ? 
 
 However what I did was to go straight on 
 towards the one in the world who was all the 
 world to me. By what process of reason, or 
 unreason, or pure stupid heart, I was come in 
 such haste to this state of mind, is more than I 
 can explain to any, and I did not even try to 
 explain it to myself. There was my condition, 
 right or wrong ; and those who cannot under- 
 stand it may be proud of their cool wisdom ; 
 and I without harm may be sorry for them. 
 
 She wore a gray cloak looking wonderfully 
 simple, yet gathered in small at her beautiful 
 waist, and trimmed at the skirts, and over two 
 little pockets, with a soft blue fur called Yicunha. 
 And she carried a little muff of the same 
 material, and the strings of her hat (which 
 was like a sea-shell) were also of a blue tint 
 very sweetly matching. But the blue that was 
 sweetest and richest of all was tliat of her large
 
 54 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 soft loving eyes, than wliich it is impossible for 
 any poet to imagine anything in heaven more 
 lovely. 
 
 However I shall not go on any more about 
 her, though things may slip out unawares ; and 
 without being rude, I may say plainly, that I 
 have a right to keep such matters to myself. 
 For a short time, I was at a loss for the com- 
 monest presence of mind, and stood wondering ; 
 hoping that she would turn round, and yet 
 fearino; that she mio-ht think I had no business 
 there. Her whole attention was taken up, as 1 
 knew by her attitude — for already I seemed to 
 have a gift of understanding her — not with 
 any thought of people near her, but with the 
 grandeur of the rolling flood, and the breadth 
 of quiet lake beyond it. She was saying to 
 herself — so far as I could tell — " What is the 
 use of such a little dot as I am, and what is 
 the value of my little troubles, when the mighty 
 world goes on like this, and all I can do would 
 not make a wrinkle and scarcely a flutter on the 
 vast expanse ? " 
 
 Then suddenly, as if in dread of her own 
 thoughts, she turned round and saw me within 
 a landyard of her. As if she had been taken in 
 a rosy fog — for we are all ashamed of large
 
 THE BEAUTIES OF NATURE. 55 
 
 thoughts, when caught in them — she coloured to 
 the tint of one of Uncle Corny's peaches, though 
 without any of the spots he was so proud of; 
 and then she drew one hand from her blue muff, 
 and I found it so soft and warm and precious, 
 that I almost forgot to let it go again. 
 
 " Oh, how I am surprised to see you here ! " 
 she said, as if my general place of residence 
 was the moon ; and probably I looked as if it 
 should be so. 
 
 " And I am even more amazed to see you 
 here," I answered without any of my wits to 
 help me, " but I came to do a little bit of 
 business with the butcher. He has been doing 
 things he had no right to do." 
 
 " I have often been told that they are inclined 
 to take advantage," she replied, with a look 
 which convinced me at once that she would 
 make a first-rate housekeeper, for what butcher 
 could resist it ? " My dear father would have 
 much trouble with them, if, if — I mean if he 
 were at all allowed to have it. But he is 
 always so full of great things." 
 
 " Oh, what a happy man he must be ! I have 
 heard that he is the most clever, and learned, 
 and one of the most celebrated men in London." 
 
 I may not have heard all that, but still I was
 
 56 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 perfectly justified in saying it, for it made her 
 talk ; and every time she spoke, her voice sounded 
 sweeter than it did the time before. 
 
 " You have been told the truth ; it is acknow- 
 ledged universally," she went on as if there 
 were no fame to equal his, and with a sparkle 
 in her blue eyes, as if a star had Hashed in 
 heaven ; " there seems to be nothing that he 
 does not know, and nothing that he does not 
 improve by his knowledge, and make useful for 
 — I mean for the world at large. How I can be 
 his child, and yet so stupid and slow-witted, is a 
 thing that amazes me, and I am trying always 
 not to think of it." 
 
 " I am sure you are not stupid. I am sure 
 you are very quick-witted. I never saw any one 
 half so clever, and accomplished, and ladyhke, 
 and gentle, and " — " lovely " was the word I 
 was about to use ; but she stopped me, with a 
 smile that would have stopped a rushing bull. 
 
 " I am showing my quick wits now," she said, 
 presenting the charm of her hand again, " by 
 never even thanking you for all you did last 
 evening. I was thinking before you appeared, 
 that but for you I should probably be tossing in 
 these wild waters now, or probably carried down 
 as far as London Bridge, without a chance even
 
 THE BEAUTIES OF NATURE. 57 
 
 of being buried. And it made me so sad, when 
 I remembered that it would make no difference 
 to any one." 
 
 " How can you say such a dreadful thing ? " 
 I exclaimed with great indignation, for her eyes 
 that had been so full of light were darkened 
 with sadness, and turned away ; " it is not true 
 that I saved you in the least, though I wish 
 that I had ; I should deserve to live for ever ; 
 but you speak as if no one in the world had any 
 love for the sweetest, and best, and most lovely 
 creature in it." 
 
 This was going rather far, I must confess ; 
 not that any word of it was at all exaggerated, 
 or even approached the proper mark ; but that 
 it might seem a little early, on the part of one 
 who had never had the pleasure of beholding 
 the lady, till the previous afternoon. The re- 
 membrance of this was very awkward to me, 
 and I was wild with myself, but could not stop 
 the mischief now. 
 
 " Will you oblige me, Mr. Orchardson," she 
 asked, as gently as if I had shown no folly, " by 
 just looking down or up the village, to see if 
 Mrs. Marker is coming. She was to have been 
 here ten minutes ago ; and we have to make 
 a long round now, since the bridge on the lower
 
 58 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 road is washed away. I ought not to trouble 
 you ; but I never know exactly where I am in 
 country places, although I love the country so." 
 
 This w^as more than I deserved ; for a good 
 box on the ears was the proper reward for 
 my frowardness, and I should have been less 
 abashed by it. "I am a bigger cad than Sam 
 Henderson himself," I whispered with a timid 
 glance at her. But she seemed at a loss to 
 know what my meaning was ; and so with a 
 deep but very clumsy bow, I departed to do her 
 bidding. 
 
 Before I had taken many steps, there appeared 
 the lady housekeeper in the distance, walking 
 with great dignity, perhaps to console herself 
 for the insolence of that Widow Cutthumb. Of 
 this I knew nothing as yet, though it was plain 
 that something unrighteous had disturbed her. 
 And this made my humble demeanour more 
 soothing and persuasive to her upright mind. 
 After shaking her hand very warmly and paying 
 a well-deserved compliment to her fine colour, I 
 ventured to implore a little favour, which the 
 sight of our garden wall sparkling in the sun- 
 shine, for it was newly topped with broken 
 glass, suggested by some good luck to me. 
 
 " Oh, if you would only come," I said, " and
 
 THE BEAUTIES OF NATUEE. 59 
 
 see my Uncle's trees to-morrow ! They are at 
 their very best this week, before we begin to 
 g-ather largely. The pears are hanging down, 
 so that we have had to prop the branches, and 
 the plums are as thick as eggs together, when 
 the hen is sitting ; only instead of being pale, 
 some are of the richest gold, and some of a deep 
 purple, like — like that magnificent amethyst you 
 wear ; and the peaches on the wall — you might 
 almost compare these to a lady's cheeks, when a 
 gentleman tells her of her beauty— — " 
 
 " Eeally, Mr. Orchardson, you are quite a 
 poet ! " 
 
 " And when you get tired of looking at them, 
 and tasting the ripest, all you have to do is to 
 come into the vinery, and sit beneath the leaves, 
 and look all along it, wherever the clusters 
 leave any room to look, until you don't know 
 which you like the best, the appearance of the 
 black or the white ones, because so much de- 
 pends upon the light. And then Uncle Corny 
 comes with a pair of scissors, and says — ' Ma'am, 
 that is not the way to look at it. The proof of 
 the pudding is in the eating,' and he hands you 
 in a vine-leaf, being careful where he cuts it, a 
 jet-black shoulder of Black Hamburgh, and an 
 amber-coloured triplet of White Muscat."
 
 60 KIT AND KlTTVr. 
 
 " Mr. Orcliardson, you are making my mouth 
 water ; if a vulgar expression may be allowed to 
 one who eats the bread of servitude." I won- 
 dered to hear her speak thus, though I saw that 
 she had been aggrieved by somebody. " And 
 if you will be at home to-morrow afternoon, 
 perhaps I might obtain permission to leave my 
 mistress, for an hour or two. I might walk down 
 about four o'clock, when I have finished all the 
 blacking of the boots." 
 
 Something with a spiteful tang to it was 
 rankling in her mind, as I perceived ; but 
 having no right to ask, I just lifted my hat, 
 and gazed at her gold chain and brooch. Then 
 a tear or two, started by her own words, came 
 forth, and she looked at me softly. 
 
 " You M^ould add to the favour of your in- 
 vitation," she said with a smile which made 
 me look at something else, " if you would in- 
 clude in it Miss Kitty Fairthorn. Poor thing ! 
 She is put upon very sadly ; and it would be 
 such a treat for her. They see so little of the 
 beauties of nature in London." 
 
 " I am sure my Uncle will be most happy ; " 
 I answered as if I were not sure about myself
 
 ( 01 ) 
 
 CHAPTER YII. 
 
 DE GUSTIBUS. 
 
 Now my Uncle Cornelius Orcliardson (a stout 
 and calm fruit-grower, called in contumely 
 "Corny the topper" by strangers who wanted 
 his growth for nothing) professed and even 
 practised a large contempt for gossip. Never- 
 theless it was plain enough that his feelings 
 were hurt, if a thing went on, which he was 
 bound in politeness to know, and yet was not 
 offered any tidings of it. With such people it 
 is always wiser, if you have done anything 
 against their wishes, to let them know all the 
 particulars at once ; and so to have it out and 
 be done with it. And I was beginning to love 
 him now, which as a boy I had done but little, 
 inasmuchi as he never gave way to me. Obsti- 
 nate as he was, and sometimes hot — if one tried 
 to play tricks with him — I was not much afraid 
 of Uncle Corny, although so dependent upon
 
 62 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 him. For I knew him to be a just man in the 
 main, and one who kept no magnet of his own 
 to fetch clown the balance to his own desires. 
 Yea, rather he would set the beam against 
 himself, when it trembled in doubt of its duty. 
 
 With the hasty conclusions of youth, I believed 
 that because he was now an old bachelor, though 
 able to afford a wife many years ago, he had 
 taken and held to an adverse view of the fairer 
 and better half of the human race. And his 
 frequent counsels to me to keep out of their 
 way confirmed my conviction. The course of 
 time proved that I was wrong in this, as in 
 many other matters of my judgment ; and my 
 rule, if I had to begin again, would be to think 
 the best of every man, till he compels me other- 
 wise. But the worst of Uncle Corny was that 
 he never cared to vindicate himself. 
 
 His countenance also was in keeping with 
 this manner, and the build of his body, and the 
 habit of his gait. His figure was tall, yet wide 
 and thick, and his face very solid and ample. 
 He had never been comely by line and rule, yet 
 always very pleasant for an honest man to look 
 at, and likely to win the good word of a woman. 
 Because there was strength and decision in his 
 face, and a power of giving full meaning to his
 
 DE GUSTIBUS. 63 
 
 words, which were generally short and to the 
 purpose. And especially he was gifted with 
 a very solid nose, not of any Roman or Grrecian 
 cast, but broadly EngHsh, and expansive, and 
 expressive, and sometimes even waggish when 
 he told an ancient tale. 
 
 Knowing that he would be quite sure to hear 
 of my adventures soon, even if he had not heard 
 already — for Sunbury is a fine place for talk — 
 and trusting to his better feelings (which were 
 always uppermost after a solid supper, when he 
 stirred his glass of hot rum and water, and had 
 his long pipe lit for him), I began upon him 
 that very night with what my mind was full 
 of. For Tabby Tapscott was now gone home, 
 after looking at me rather queerly. 
 
 " What a knowledge of the world you have, 
 Uncle Corny ! " I exclaimed at the end of his 
 favourite tale concerning Covent Garden ; 
 " your advice must be worth more than the 
 counsel of the cleverest lawyer in London." 
 
 " More honest at least, and no fee to pay," 
 he answered rather testily, for he hated all 
 humbug and compliments. " What have you 
 been at, young man ? Is it my advice, or my 
 aid, you want ? " 
 
 " A little of both ; or a lot of one, and a little
 
 64 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 of the other. I have made the acquaintance of 
 a sweet young lady, the gentlest, and loveliest, 
 and most graceful, and modest, and elegant, 
 and accomplished, and lofty-minded, and noble- 
 hearted, and — and " 
 
 " Angelic, angelic is the word. Kit — don't 
 begrudge it ; it saves such a lot of the others." 
 
 "Yes, angelic," I replied with firmness; "and 
 even that is not half good enough. You know 
 nothing of such matters. Uncle Corny." 
 
 " Then what is the use of my advice ? You 
 had better go to Tabby Tapscott." 
 
 This threw me out a little ; but I would not 
 be brow-beaten. 
 
 " If you have no wish to hear any more 
 about her, and compare her to an old creature 
 like Tabby, all I can say is that I am sorry 
 for your taste, very sorry for your taste. Uncle 
 Corny." 
 
 " Well, well, go on. Kit. Let us have it all, 
 while we are about it. Rasp the baker told me 
 something. He has brought down a girl from 
 London, who can make short bread, and maids 
 of honour. No wonder you fell in love with 
 her." 
 
 " You may try to provoke me, but you shall 
 not succeed ; because you know no better.
 
 DE GUSTIBUS. 65 
 
 What will you say, when I tell you the young" 
 lady is the niece of Miss Coldpepper of Cold- 
 pepper Manor ? " 
 
 I looked at Uncle Corny with a glance of 
 triumph ; and then stood up, to breathe again, 
 after my own audacity. But instead of being 
 terrified, he took it very coolly. 
 
 " Well, a cat may look at a king," said he, 
 pursuing his pipe with his usual discretion ; 
 " and I suppose you have only looked at her ; 
 though somebody said you pulled her out of our 
 watercress brook." 
 
 " Sir, I have had two delightful talks with 
 her ; and I mean to have another to-morrow. 
 Not that I have any hope — of course, I am 
 well aware " 
 
 " That you are unworthy to worship her 
 shoe-string, and lie down for her peg-heels to 
 tread on. If she likes you, I don't see why you 
 shouldn't have her. By and by, I mean, when 
 you get a little wiser. But has the girl got 
 any money ? " 
 
 " I hope not ; I hope not, from the bottom of 
 my heart. It would be yet another obstacle. 
 She is as high above me, as the heaven is above 
 the earth, without — without even a penny in 
 her pockets." 
 
 VOL. I. p
 
 66 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 " Flies all the higher, because her pockets are 
 so light." He spoke with a jocosity, which 
 appeared to me most vulgar. " Don't look as 
 if you longed to knock me over, Kit. By the 
 way, I heard that you had floored Sam Hen- 
 derson. If so, you deserve the best maid that 
 ever looked into a looking-glass. What do you 
 want me to do, my lad ? I know a little of 
 those people." 
 
 I wondered what people he meant, but feared 
 to ask him for the moment, lest I might lose 
 the chance of getting the favour I had set my 
 heart on. "It is a very simple thing," I said, 
 " and need not take your time up. Mrs. Marker 
 is longing to see your garden ; and if she may 
 come to-morrow afternoon, she will bring the 
 young lady, and I can show them round. You 
 need not stir a step, or even turn your head." 
 
 " It is quite enough to have one head turned. 
 They may come, if they choose, but they must 
 not bother me. Hand me the jar of tobacco, 
 Kit, and be off to the books, instead of spooning." 
 
 My Uncle might easily have taken a more 
 ample and cordial view of the question ; still 
 I was pleased not to find him worse, and 
 ordered our crock-boy on the Tuesday morning 
 to fetch a little round while he ate his breakfast,
 
 DE GUSTIBUS. 67 
 
 and leave a note for Mrs. Marker at the lodg-e 
 of the Coldpepper grounds, near the dairy, 
 which the housekeeper visited early. And 
 then I went to gather and basket a quarter of 
 Keswick codlin and Quarantines. This occupied 
 all the forenoon, and what with seeing that 
 they were picked aright, and sorted into firsts 
 and seconds, and fairly packed, with no rubbish 
 at the bottom, into bushel-baskets, and yet 
 presented smiling with their eyes upward to 
 meet the gaze of the purchaser, the day went 
 so fast that it was dinner-time, before I could 
 sit down, and dwell upon my heart. Then at 
 a reproachful glance from Selsey Bill, our 
 orchard foreman, who had heard the church- 
 clock strike one, and felt it to the depths of his 
 capable stomach, I set three fingers to my teeth, 
 and blew the signal, which is so welcome to the 
 men who have lived upon nothing but hope, 
 ever since half-past eight o'clock. 
 
 It is not to be denied however that I had 
 taken pretty sharp advantage of being well 
 mounted from time to time on the upper rungs 
 of a ladder, which gave me command of the 
 Halliford road — the higher road, I mean, for 
 the lower now was stopped except to carts 
 and carriages — in such a manner that none
 
 68 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 conld come from that part of the world, without 
 my knowledge. Seeing only a pedlar and some 
 few women (highly interesting to themselves 
 no douht, but not concerning my state of mind) 
 I went in to dine with Uncle Corny, and took 
 care to eat none of his onions. 
 
 " What cheeks you have got, Kit ! " he cried 
 with a laugh ; " and it is not from eating too 
 much dinner. You have stolen the colour of 
 my Quarantines. Eat, boy, eat ; or how will 
 you pull through it ? No more visits from 
 young ladies, if you are to go off your head 
 like this. You have put the new mustard- 
 spoon into the salt. A pretty muddle, I'm 
 afraid, among my apples." 
 
 Being always very dutiful, I let him have his 
 grumble ; and presently he lit his pipe, and 
 made off for the packing-shed, though the load 
 was not going till to-morrow night. Then I put 
 myself into a little better trim, feeling that the 
 best I did could never make me fit to look round 
 the corner of a wall at somebody. Although I 
 was considered in our village a smart and tidy 
 and well-built young fellow, and one of the 
 girls at the linen-draper's had sent me a 
 Valentine last spring, said to be of her own 
 composition, beginning — " Thou noble and
 
 DE GUSTIBUS. 69 
 
 majestic youth, Thy curls and thy ruddy 
 cheeks proclaim the truth, That whenever I 
 think of thee, I heave a sigh. And if thou 
 pro vest false, I shall jump into the Thames and 
 die ! " But it was in vain for me to think of 
 this at present ; it gave me no support at all 
 worth having; and even a hook of poetry, 
 which I put into my pocket, might just as well 
 have been the list of pots and pans from 
 Turnham Green. 
 
 Before I could get into any real courage, 
 then came a gentle double knock, as if from 
 the handle of a parasol, at the green door near 
 the corner of the wall, and then a little laugh ; 
 and then a sweet voice said, " Oh, Jenny, don't 
 you think we had better go back ? Are you 
 sure that Auntie said that I might come ? " 
 In dread of further doubts, I ran up promptly, 
 and opened the door, and brought them in, 
 and locked it. 
 
 " This young lady," began Mrs. Marker, as 
 if they were come for her sake only, " has 
 never seen any fruit-garden, fruit-orcliard, 
 fruit-establishment, or whatever the proper 
 name is. And I thought perhaps before she 
 goes back to London, this would enlarge her 
 store of knowledge ; and her father, who is a
 
 70 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 very learned man, miglit like to bear her 
 account of it. Now keep your eyes open, 
 Miss Kitty, and see all. You would fancy 
 that she noticed nothing, Mr. Orchardson, 
 by the way she goes on, and her quietness. 
 And yet when you come to talk afterwards, it 
 turns out that nothing has escaped her blue 
 eyes ; and she can tell ten times as much as 
 I can, and I am considered pretty accurate too. 
 But we must pay our respects to your Uncle, 
 Mr. Cornelius Orchardson. I always like to do 
 the proper thing. Business first, and pleasure 
 afterwards." 
 
 " He will smile, when he hears how you 
 have put it. He is very busy now at the 
 packing-shed. But he told me to take you 
 wherever you liked ; and he will come down, 
 when he has made out his list. On the left 
 you have the peach-wall, and on the right the 
 plums ; and the figs are getting very ripe down 
 this alley. We very seldom eat much fruit 
 ourselves, because we have such a lot of it. 
 But we always long to get ladies' opinions, 
 because of the delicacy of their taste." 
 
 "It is a perfect shame," said Miss Marker, 
 while making up her mind what to begin with, 
 " that, in such a Paradise, there should be no
 
 DE GUSTIBUS. 71 
 
 Vdf^y, to give you the knowledge of good and 
 evil. I brought a silver knife with me, in case 
 of being tempted. Not that I mean to taste 
 anything of course, unless my opinion should 
 be absolutely required. My constitution is 
 not strong, Mr. Kit ; and I am compelled 
 to be very careful." 
 
 I knew what was meant by that, having 
 heard it often. " You shall have nothing, 
 madam, but the very best," I answered ; " for 
 we never throw away an opportunity like this. 
 What shall we offer first for your judgment ? " 
 
 " Kitty, what do you say ? " She turned as 
 if in doubt. " You know, my dear, how careful 
 we must be. This young lady, Mr. Kit, 
 allows me to call her ' Kitty,' in our private 
 moments. Kit and Kitty — what a very 
 strange coincidence ! " 
 
 I could not help looking at the beautiful Miss 
 Fairthorn ; and to my eyes she became more 
 beautiful than ever. For a deep blush spread 
 upon her lovely cheeks, and she turned away, 
 and said, " I leave it quite to you." 
 
 If Mrs. Marker had been planning all the 
 morning how to get the best of the tasting to 
 herself, and to render her judgment supreme, 
 i<he could hardly have hit upon a better device
 
 72 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 than this. For her young companion became 
 so nervous and so much confused, and I myself 
 so diffident and deeply occupied, that our only 
 object was to fill the lady housekeeper's mouth, 
 and keep it running over with nothing worse 
 than fruit. Now and then I ventured to steal 
 a glance at the one with whom my heart was 
 filled, as if to ask whether she would ever 
 forgive me for my sad name of Kit. But her 
 eyes were afraid to encounter mine ; or if by 
 any chance they did so, the light that was in 
 them wavered like a timid gleam pursued by 
 cloud. To relieve this trouble, I began to 
 chatter vague nonsense to the other visitor, 
 who was falling to in earnest. 
 
 " Everything is out of time this year, and 
 nothing up to character. There has been no 
 sunshine on this wall, until you ladies shone 
 upon it; and what amazes me. most is to find 
 that anything has any colour at all. Here is a 
 Grrosse Mignonne now, a week ago as green as 
 a leek, and covered now with, downy crimson, 
 except just where a leaf has made a pale curve 
 across it, like the pressure of a finger on your 
 cheek. Taste it, Mrs. Marker ; you are not 
 getting on at all." 
 
 " Let me see, that makes seven, I think. I
 
 DE GUSTIBUS. 73 
 
 shall have lost my taste hefore we get among 
 the gages. Thank you, I am sure. Oh, how 
 lovely, and delicious ! Luscious perhaps is the 
 better expression. There goes ever so much 
 more juice on my dress. I ought to have 
 brought a bib, Mr. Kit; and I will, if I ever come 
 again. But would not you say it was just the 
 least thought woolly ? " She had never heard 
 of such a thing before, but I had taught her, 
 and she was growing critical. " Kitty dear, 
 you are tasting nothing. Don't you consider 
 that just an atom woolly ? " 
 
 " Yery likely it is. I don't know enough to 
 say. But I never remember tasting wool, with 
 so fine a flavour in it." 
 
 Perhaps I was not in a proper mood to 
 judge ; but verily this appeared to me to show 
 an inborn aptitude for taking the management 
 of the fruit, and the government of the grower. 
 To exaggerate is altogether out of my nature, 
 and I find it a great mistake to be ecstatic ; but 
 in spite of all that, I would have given every 
 sixpence allowed me by my Uncle Corny — who 
 was always afraid of allowing me too much — ■ 
 if only I could have conveyed to this exquisite 
 judge my opinion of her sentence. But that 
 blessed discovery of Mrs. Marker's about the
 
 74 KIT AND KITTr. 
 
 everlasting- fitness of our names, — upon which I 
 liacl been dwelling in my heart, long before her 
 stupid slowness blurted it — this, I say, had 
 acted in a very awkward manner upon a mind 
 infinitely higher than hers ; and yet I hoped 
 humbly that it might suggest something, which 
 might be for the best, if let alone. 
 
 Things being so, it was not at all amiss 
 that a loud voice reached us from the clipped 
 yew-hedge, which was set across to break the 
 north winds here — " Kit, where the deuce are 
 you gone mooning ? I thought you would have 
 come up with the ladies, long ago." 
 
 " Here we are, lookins: from a distance at 
 your peaches. Oh, Mr. Orchardson, how lovely 
 they do seem ! " Mrs. Marker lost her dignity 
 by giving me a wink, believing as she did — 
 and many others thought the same — that I was 
 next to nobody in these gardens, and my Uncle 
 a tiger over every fruit he grew. 
 
 " We have had as many peaches as we can 
 eat, sir," I said, without any wish to contradict 
 her, but simply to show the position I held. 
 
 " Ladies will excuse my present plight ; " he 
 had no coat on, and his sleeves were tucked up, 
 showing a pair of thick brown arms. " My 
 peaches are very poor this year, and many
 
 DE GUSTIBUS. 75 
 
 have split their stones, and rot instead of ripen- 
 ing. We have not had such a season since 
 1852. I hope yoii will not judge us by the 
 wretched things you see. But come on a little 
 further, and try something else. All fruit is 
 water, such a year as we have had. But pos- 
 sibly I may find a plum or two worth eating." 
 
 " Allow me the pleasure, sir," said Mrs. 
 Marker, who always insisted on proper forms, 
 " of introducing you to Miss Fairthorn, the 
 only daughter of Captain, or as he now is 
 considered. Professor Fairthorn — a gentleman 
 of the highest scientific tendencies." 
 
 " To be sure," said Uncle Corny, as he took his 
 hat off, and smiled with surprise at her beauty ; 
 '" I knew Captain Fairthorn, years ago, and a 
 very noble man he is. I have very good cause 
 to remember him — but I will not trouble vou 
 with that now. Mrs. Marker, if you would 
 just turn this corner — take care of your most 
 becoming bonnet, young lady " — this pleased 
 the good housekeeper more than twenty plums, 
 " our trees are not as sensitive as we are." 
 
 His urbanity amazed me, for I never could 
 have thought a good man could be so incon- 
 sistent; and I said to myself that after all 
 there is something irresistible in women. So
 
 76 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 I ventured to sidle up to Miss Fairthorn, as lie 
 led the way with his convoy, and asked her 
 what she thought of him. 
 
 " Oh, I think he is so nice," she replied 
 smiling at me, as if she was pleased with my 
 question ; " so upright, and manly, and such a 
 fine countenance. No wonder, I'm sure, that 
 his fruit is good." 
 
 " Did you notice how much he was surprised 
 at you, at your very pretty dress, and exceedingly 
 sweet smile, and most ladylike appearance, and 
 silvery voice, and lovely — lovely way of holding 
 your parasol ? " 
 
 " How can you talk such nonsense, Mr. 
 Orchardson ? And your Uncle appears such 
 a sensible man ! Dear me, we are losing all 
 the wise things he can say. Let us hurry on — 
 it was this way, I think." 
 
 " No, no ! Don't you hear their voices 
 down this path ? Not twenty yards off, if it 
 were not for these trees. Oh, do let me carry 
 your parasol. You will want both hands to 
 get along. Before you know where we are, we 
 shall be in the broad road. Oh, I am so sorry 
 — it was all my fault. You must let me undo 
 the mischief I have done. May I show you 
 how well I understand all roses ? "
 
 DE GUSTIBUS. 77 
 
 By good luck, combined with some little skill 
 of mine, her simple yet wholly adorable frock 
 was captured in three places by gooseberries 
 whom I envied. I expected great delight from 
 this. But she showed at once the sweetness of 
 her temper, and her height above me. Instead 
 of blushing stupidly, she smiled, and said — 
 " Thank yon, I will do it for myself. You can 
 hardly be expected to understand such things."
 
 78 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 BAD COUNSEL. 
 
 There are very few things that have the power 
 to please us both in heart and mind, even when 
 they have the will to do it, which is very seldom. 
 G-reat events in our lives flash by without a 
 word, and scarcely seem to give us time to 
 chuckle, or to sob, till afterwards. But the little 
 turns of time are more indulgent, and pass us 
 with a sauntering foot, more often dull than 
 lightsome. 
 
 For the moment, I was glad to find that my 
 Uncle Cornelius, in his plain way, had taken a 
 liking to my love. But I gave him little credit 
 for it, inasmuch as it seemed impossible to me 
 that he could do otherwise. Such was my petty 
 jealousy that I did not even want to hear him 
 praise her, except in my own words. But he, 
 in his solid way, would take his own view of her 
 character — as if he knew anything about it !
 
 BAD COUNSEL. 79 
 
 " I don't care a farthing about all that," I 
 cried, when he had spoken of some things, 
 which tell the longest. 
 
 " I can see she is very quiet, and full of home 
 affections," he persisted, as if I were a boy at 
 school, and he were holding the spelling-book ; 
 " she is not extravagant, nor fond of waste ; 
 that I saw by the way she went through a 
 * Huling's Superb,' with a hole in it. I could 
 scarcely have done it any better myself. And 
 she was really grieved, which the lady-house- 
 keeper had not the sense to be, by the freedom 
 — she called it recklessness — with which I picked 
 those Jeffersons, to find one in tip-top condition. 
 And then, when I offered to make some tea, the 
 housekeeper who had been stuffing for hours 
 only asked if the water was boiling. But your 
 sweetheart began to buckle up, and asked who 
 could touch tea, after such delicious things." 
 
 " Buckle up, indeed ! Uncle Corny, you are 
 outrageous. She had got no such thing as a 
 buckle near her. Her waist is done round with 
 a narrow blue ribbon, the colour of the sky, 
 as her eyes are. And I will thank you not to 
 call her my sweetheart, if you please. I shall 
 never have such luck. And it sounds so com- 
 mon. There ought to be a better expression
 
 83 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 for it. And such things are not made to be 
 talked of." 
 
 " Yery well ! You won't hear me say another 
 word. It will all come to nothing ; that's one 
 comfort. She goes back to London on Friday ; 
 and you will very soon console yourself with 
 Rasp's young woman. I am told that she has 
 fine black eyes ; and I am not sure that black 
 don't beat blue ones, after all." 
 
 This was so disgusting that I went away, 
 and worked till dusk at a heavy piece of trench- 
 ing ; and when it was dusk I lay in wait for 
 three felonious boys who came from Hampton, 
 almost every evening, prowling for our apples. 
 I caught all three, and trounced them well — 
 which is the only proper plan — and the sound 
 of their wailings, as they went home, restored 
 my faith in justice. For I had given them 
 their choice — " a licking, or a summons " — and 
 they said very justly, " Oh, a licking, if you 
 please, sir." The world has now come to such 
 a pass, that a father would summon me for 
 assault, if I so discharged his duty for him ; but 
 thirty years ago a bit of common sense survived. 
 
 But in spite of that little satisfaction, I could 
 not get much sleep that night, for rolling, and 
 pondering, and twisting in and out, the tangle
 
 BAD COUNSEL. 81 
 
 and the burden of a troubled mind. Turn it as 
 I might, there was no opening through it for 
 another view of that perfect creature, with whom 
 my whole life seemed to flow. Terrible, terrible 
 was the truth that she would leave us all on 
 Friday, and be swallowed up and no more 
 seen, in that great earthquake, London. A. 
 thousand wild ideas, and schemes, for stealing 
 yet one more interview, and countless crazy 
 hopes that she herself might try to compass it, 
 all came thrilling tlirough my restless brain, 
 but not one would stop there. None had any 
 shape or substance, such as could be worked 
 upon, and brought to likelihood of success. 
 This was Tuesday night ; last Saturday night 
 how different everything had been ! Then I 
 had only cared to know, that things in the 
 ground were doing well, that all the fruit which 
 required gathering got its due, and looked its 
 best on its way to be devoured, that every man 
 pocketed his wages in good time to spend them, 
 and that there was a little hope of the weather 
 taking up at last. Now there had been three 
 days without rain, and with touch of autumnal 
 sunshine ; heaven began to look bright again, 
 and the earth (which, like the dwellers therein, 
 lives only aright in view of it) was beginning 
 VOL, I. a
 
 82 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 to lift her sodden crust, and fetch once more 
 her storm-trampled breath, and issue anew the 
 genial green in the midrib of mouldy foliage. 
 In a word, the summer Mdiich had failed the 
 year, for want of a smile to lead it, was breaking 
 out at this last moment, better late than never. 
 
 Possessed as I was Avith my own troubles, 
 and only a flickering sunshine, I could not re- 
 sist the contagious lightness of cheerful faces 
 all around. The workmen, who do (in spite of 
 all British reserve, and manly selfishness) take 
 a deep interest in their employer's welfare, and 
 stand up for him bravely, when any one abuses 
 him, except themselves — every man of them laid 
 heel to spade, or hoisted ladder on shoulder, 
 with new briskness ; because they could say to 
 one another — " The old buffer, who carries on 
 this place, has fought against long odds like a 
 man ; and now things look as if they was taking 
 a little turn in his favour." 
 
 On the Wednesday morning glum however 
 was my mind, and grim my face, and Uncle 
 Corny made some jokes, which may have seemed 
 very good to him. Our breakfast things were 
 set as usual, and our breakfast cooked and 
 served by Mrs. Tabby Tapscott, that sage widow 
 from the village, whom we were often pleased to
 
 BAD COUNSEL. 83 
 
 laugh at for her Devonshire dialect. Also for 
 her firm conviction, that nothing in these out- 
 landish parts, and none of our biggest men, 
 were fit to compare with the products of the 
 West. There was one point however on which 
 we gladly confessed the truth that was in her — 
 she could fry potatoes, not leathery chips, nor 
 the cake of pulpy fatness, but the crisp yet 
 melting patin of brown gold, so as none of the 
 East may fry them. She turned them out of 
 the frying-pan upon a willow-pattern plate, and 
 the man deserved to wear the willow, who could 
 think of weeping near them. 
 
 Now this good woman, who was a " cure," as 
 the slang boys of our village said, took (though 
 I knew it not as yet) a tender interest in my 
 affairs. For the last day or two, I had observed 
 that she glanced at me rather strangely, and 
 once or twice behind my Uncle's back, she had 
 put her finger on her lips, and then jerked her 
 thumb over her shoulder, as if to say — " Come 
 and have a quiet word with me." 
 
 But my frame of mind had nppeared to me 
 too noble and exalted to be shared with her, 
 until it was come to such a pitch that any aid 
 would be welcome. 
 
 This morning, as half of her fine work re-
 
 84 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 mained on my plate neglected, she could no 
 longer contain herself, but pinched my sleeve 
 and whispered, while my Uncle was going to 
 the window, " Come out in gearden, I want to 
 spake to 'e." 
 
 " Speak away," I answered, " there is nothing 
 to stop you, Mrs. Tapscott;" but she looked 
 at me and muttered that I was just a fool, 
 and she had a mind to have nought to do 
 with me. 
 
 By the common law of nature, this made me 
 long to hear what on earth she could have to 
 say, and I gave her the chance, while she 
 washed up the things, to see where I was, and 
 to come out if she pleased. She might do 
 exactly as she pleased, for I did not intend to 
 encourage her. She came out, and began 
 without asking me. 
 
 " I can't abide to zee 'e look so crule weist 
 and peaky. The toorn of your nose hain't the 
 zame as her was, and you don't zim at home 
 with your vittels, Measter Kit. Lor' bless 'e, 
 I been droo the zame my zen, and I knaws arl 
 about 'en." 
 
 At first I was inclined to walk away ; but it 
 would have been shabby to be rude to her, and 
 a look of good-will and kindly pity was in
 
 BAD COUNSEL. 85 
 
 her hard-worn eyes and face. " What can you 
 have to say to me ? " I asked. 
 
 " You be young, and I be old," she took 
 my coat to stop me ; '• you be peart and nimble, 
 and I be a'most crippled with rheumatics and 
 rumbago. But the Lord hath made us arl alike, 
 though He have given us different. I knows as 
 wull what ails 'e now, as if it arl coom droo my 
 own heart. And what you be zaying to your- 
 zelf is — ' How be I to goo on with it ? ' " 
 
 This was a wonderfidly accurate description 
 of my present state of mind. I looked at Mrs. 
 Tapscott, wnth the admiration she deserved, and 
 said — " Well then, how be I to goo on with 
 it?" 
 
 " I've athought 'un out," she made answer 
 bravely; "what you be bound to do, Measter 
 Kit, is never to let she goo back to Lunnon, 
 wi'out zettling zuramat." 
 
 Here was the whole of it in a nutshell. But 
 how was I to settle anything ? 
 
 " Oh, Tabby, dear Tabby," I cried, with some 
 loss of dignity, but much gain of truth ; " how 
 can I even get the chance of saying a word to 
 her again ? This is Wednesday, and she goes 
 back on Friday, and perhaps she never comes 
 again, and there are millions of people between
 
 86 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 US. Everybody knows what Miss Coldpepper 
 is, as proud as Punch, and as stiff as starch. If" 
 I even dared to go near the house, she'd just 
 tell the gamekeeper to shoot me." 
 
 " Wull, a young man as have vallen in love 
 must take liis chance of shot-guns. But if so 
 be you latts her goo awai wi'out so much as 
 anoother ward, you desarves to have no tongue 
 in the head of 'e." 
 
 " How easy it is to talk ! " I replied, making- 
 ready to leave her, and think by myself. " But 
 how hard and impossible, Tabby, to find any 
 chance of doing anything. I must make up 
 my mind not to see her any more ; but to think 
 of her always, as long as I live." 
 
 " Boddledicks ! " cried Mrs. Tapscott, her 
 favourite interjection of contempt — what it 
 meant we knew not, and probably not she. 
 " Boddledicks, where be the brains of they men ? 
 I could tull 'e what to do in half a zecond, lad, 
 to vetch old Coldpepper, and the young leddy 
 too, and every mortial 'ooman in thic there 
 ouze, to burn arter 'e, the zame as if they 
 zighted 'e a-hurning to the muckpit, with all 
 their Zunday vainery under thee arm." 
 
 I looked at Tabby Tapscott with some sur- 
 prise ; for she was giving greater force to her
 
 BAD COUNSEL. 87 
 
 description, by using leg and arm as if she bore 
 a share in all of it. And the vigour of her 
 countenance made me smile. But the old 
 woman laughed with a superior air. " Tak'th 
 a bit o' time, for volks with slow brains to 
 vollow my maind up — don't her now ? Goo up 
 to 'ouze, young man, and stale old Ragless." 
 
 " Steal old Regulus ! " I cried in great amaze- 
 ment, " why, what good on earth would that do 
 me ? And if it would do any good, how am I 
 to manage it ? I have not been brought up to 
 that profession." 
 
 " I zeed a man to Barrinarbor, vaive and 
 vorty year agone, the most wonnerful cliv^er 
 chap, I ever zee. He coom a-coortin' of me, the 
 taime as I wor ruckoned the purtiest maid in 
 arl the parish of Westdown. But I wadn't 
 have none of 'un, because a' wor so tricksy. 
 Howsomever I didn't zay ' noo ' to wance, for a' 
 wor the most wonnerful chap I ever zee. The 
 Lord had been and given he every zort o' 
 counsel. A' could clmrm a harse out of any 
 vield or linhay, a' could mak' the coos burn to 'un, 
 when the calves was zuckin', a' could vetch any 
 dog a' took a vancy to from atwane his owner's 
 legs or from's own zupper. And a' zhowed me 
 a trick or two I han't vorgotten yet. I could
 
 88 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 tull 'e purty smart how to vetch old Ragless, 
 and kape 'un so long as you was mainded." 
 
 Now I might have paid little attention to 
 this, and indeed had begun to reject the sugges- 
 tion of a stratagem far below the dignity of 
 love, till suddenly a queer dream came to my 
 remembrance, a dream of last Sunday night, 
 tlie very night after that little adventure at 
 the timber-bridge. In that enchanting vision, 
 I had seen Miss Fairthorn smiling as she came 
 to me, through a lovely meadow enamelled 
 with primrose, and cowslip, and bluebell, her- 
 self of course the fairest of all the flowers. And 
 when I approached her, behold, she was led by 
 this same dog, old Regulus, who conducted her 
 gracefully to my longing arms, by means of the 
 long gold chain which had reposed on the stately 
 bosom of Mrs. Jenny Marker. I am not super- 
 stitious — as everybody vows when recounting 
 his dreams — but still it did seem strange. 
 
 " Lave it arl to me," Mrs. Tapscott went on, 
 as she saw my hesitation. " Nort for e' to do, 
 but to gie me a zhillin', vor to buy the stuff, 
 ai]d nobody no wiser. Then goo avore zunrise, 
 and vetch old Ragless. Putt 'un in a barg, and 
 keep 'un znug in tliic there old root-ouze. My 
 stars and garters, what a bit o' vun 'twill be ! "
 
 ( 8^ ) 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A DOG A^OLATE. 
 
 A gretVT observer of these latter days has 
 advised us to abstain from deep research into 
 the orie:in of our own names. Otherwise we 
 
 a 
 
 might become convinced of a lamentable want 
 of lofty tone among those, without whom we 
 could not have been here, to show our supe- 
 riority. A vein of fine thought is at once set 
 flowing; but for "Ragless " it would have flowed 
 in vain, as dogs have no surname to dwell upon. 
 His case was a strange one, and not without 
 interest. Nobody in our parish had any know- 
 ledge of his ancestry, although he had won very 
 high repute by biting many people who got 
 over it. Any other dog would have become 
 the victim of an injudicious outcry ; but 
 " Ragless," by making some other good bites, 
 established his les-al rii2:ht to do it, and was now 
 considered a very wholesome dog, though he
 
 90 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 might have a temper of his own. But even if 
 he had, who was to blame ? 
 
 Some seven, or it may have been eight years 
 since, Miss Coldpepper was " rolling in her 
 carriage " down Feltham hill, when the coach- 
 man pulled up very sharply, and just in time 
 to save mishap. All the boys in the village 
 were let loose from school, and with one accord 
 had found a genial pastime, which they were 
 pursuing with the vigour of our race. They 
 had got a poor dog, with no father, or mother, 
 or even policeman to defend him, and they had 
 put him in a barrel near a garden-gate, and 
 tacked in the head so that no escape was left. 
 This being done to their entire satisfaction, what 
 remained except to roll him down the hill ? 
 And this they were doing with a lofty sense of 
 joleasure, and shouts that almost drowned the 
 smothered howls from within, when the carriage 
 came upon them, and very nearly served them 
 right. " Let them have the whip," cried the 
 lady with due feeling, when the footman had 
 jumped down and reported all the facts ; but 
 the ringleaders had vanished, and the boys who 
 tasted lash were some innocent little ones who 
 had only helped in shouting. " Hand him in 
 to me," was her next order ; and the poor
 
 A DOG VIOLATE. 91 
 
 trembling- animal saw pity in her eyes, and 
 gave her face a timid lick, which made his 
 fortune. No claimant being- found for him 
 the lady took liim home, and aptly called him 
 " E-egulus," which the servants very promptly 
 converted into " Ragless," reasoning well that 
 the Italian greyhound wore a coat, but this dog 
 had none, save the bristles wherewith Nature 
 had endowed him. In the course of time he 
 superseded every other dog, and probably every 
 human being, in the affection of Miss Coldpepper. 
 If the early portion of his life had been un- 
 happy, fortune had now made him ample 
 amends, and he should have been in amity with 
 all mankind. But whether from remembrance 
 of his youthful woes, or cynical perception of 
 our frailties and our frauds, Regulus never 
 acquired that sweetness, which we look for in 
 dogs, so much more than in ourselves. His 
 standard of action was strict duty beyond doubt, 
 but a duty too strictly limited, and confined to 
 two persons — himself, and his mistress. With 
 the rest of creation he was cheerfully at war, 
 though tolerably neutral towards the cook, 
 wiien she could bid high enough for his con- 
 sideration. These things made him deeply 
 respected.
 
 92 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 In person however, he was not quite a dog 
 to arouse any vast enthusiasm. He belonged 
 to the order of the wiry-coated terriers, if he 
 was a terrier at all ; for in him all the elements 
 were so duly mingled, that Nature could only 
 proclaim him a dog. The colour of ginger 
 and that of cinnamon were blended together 
 in his outward dog ; and he went on three legs, 
 quite as often as on four, as much from con- 
 tempt of the earth perhaps as from feelings of 
 physical economy. There was nothing base 
 about him ; he had fine teeth, and he showed 
 them, but never made insidious assault on 
 anybody. When he meant to bite, he did it 
 quickly, and expressed his satisfaction after- 
 wards. 
 
 To seduce such a sentry, was an enterprise 
 worthy of him, who in sweet love's service, and 
 dispensing its mournful melodies, enchanted the 
 son of Echidna. And it may have been this 
 sense of difiSculty, and a sporting desire to 
 conquer it, which led me to follow up the joke, 
 and try my hand at a job, which had beaten the 
 deepest dog-stealers of Seven Dials. 
 
 All day long, I hoped to get at least a 
 glimpse, or if bad luck would not allow that, 
 to hear at any rate something of that young
 
 A DOG VIOLATE. 93 
 
 lady, without whom my life must grow old and 
 barren. For this was no school-boy affair of the 
 fancy, nor even a light skit of early manhood, 
 such as fifty young fellows have out of fifty-one, 
 and go their way quickly after some other girl. 
 I had never been given to such fugitive sport ; 
 I was now in the prime of my years almost, and 
 though I might have looked at maidens, and 
 thought what pretty things they were, none 
 had ever touched my heart till now. And 
 " touched " is by no means the proper word to 
 use ; it should be said plainly, that all my heart 
 was occupied, and possessed to its deepest fibre 
 by a being far better, and sweeter, and nobler 
 than its outer and bodily owner ; and that this 
 must abide so to its very latest pulse ; as you 
 will truly find, if you care to hear about it. 
 
 Not a word came to me about those thino^s 
 which destroyed all my attention to any other ; 
 and the dusk had stopped work — which was my 
 only comfort — and I sat all alone that Wednes- 
 day evening, trying to get through a little 
 bread and cheese, but glancing more often from 
 our old window at the gloomy rush of the river, 
 which was still in high flood though some little 
 abated. Uncle Corny was gone, to try to get 
 some money from people who had thriven on his
 
 04 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 liard-won fruit, and Mrs. Tabby Tapscott had 
 left the house early, upon some business of her 
 own. The house-door was open, for we had 
 not many rogues, till the railway came some 
 years afterwards ; and the evening was of those 
 that smell of beehives, and cornstacks, and 
 horses upon their way home. At last, when I 
 had made up my mind to be forgotten by every 
 one, in came Tabbv, as brio;ht as a bun. 
 
 " Oh fai, oh fai ! " she cried ; " whatever be 
 'e doing of? Atin' no zupper, and zittin' as if 
 'e was mazed a'most. Look 'e zee what the Lord 
 hath zent 'e ! I was vorced to go arl the way 
 to Hampton for 'un, for vear of they long 
 tongues to Zunbury. If this wun't vetch 
 Measter Ragless, arl I can zay is her hain't a 
 dog. Putt 'un down in zellar, when I've larned 
 'e how to use 'un," 
 
 From beneath her shawl she produced a little 
 box, which she opened in triumph, and the 
 room was filled at once with a very peculiar 
 odour quite unknown to me. It was pungent 
 rather than pleasant, and it made me sneeze 
 as well as laugh. 
 
 " You be up there by vaive o'clock, when the 
 daisies' eyes be openin', and goo to the zide 
 door I tould 'e of" — Mrs. Tapscott knew all the
 
 A DOG VIOLATE. 95 
 
 household ways at Coldpepper Hall, through a 
 niece of hers who was kitchen-maid, " and vang 
 this by the coord out o' heeliu', wi'out titchin' 
 of 'un with thy vingers, and drag 'un athort the 
 grass and the pilm to backzide o' the zhrubbery, 
 and then you step out o' zight in a lew cornder. 
 Quid dog be put out at zix o'clock riglar, and 
 'tis liable he'll burn straight to 'e. Then let 
 'un ate a hummick, and kitch 'un up vittily, and 
 pop 'un into barg, and carr 'un home here, and 
 I'll zhow 'e what to do with 'un. But mind as 
 her don't scammel 'e. Her be turble itemy." 
 
 She gave me many other minute directions, 
 and made me laugh so that my spirits rose, 
 with the hope of an interesting little farce, to 
 relieve the more tragic surroundings. I under- 
 took briskly to play my part, looking on the 
 matter as a harmless joke ; though I came to 
 think in course of time that the cruel theft I 
 suffered from might partly be a just requital 
 for this wicked robbery. And yet it was 
 absurd and senseless, to make such comparison. 
 
 Without disturbing Uncle Corny, who slept 
 very heavily, I was up before daylight on the 
 Thursday morning, and set out with the box 
 and bag on my felonious enterprise. Cold- 
 pepper Hall, or Manor, as it was called indiffer-
 
 96 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 ently, stood back upon some rising ground at 
 a distance from the river, and was sheltered 
 well by growth of trees. There was nothing 
 very grand about it, and it leaned on stucco 
 more than stone ; but there was plenty of room 
 both within and without, and any one getting 
 inside the doors might say to himself, with 
 some comfort flowing into him — " I am sure 
 that I need never be in any hurry here." 
 
 The sun meant to get up a little later on, 
 when I jumped the palings of this old demesne, 
 at a place where of right there should have 
 been a footpath, but the owner of the Manor 
 had stopped it long ago, perceiving the sujoerior 
 claims of quietude. Kobody had cared to make 
 a fuss about it, but enough of ancestral right 
 remained to justify me in getting over. Every 
 window of the house was still asleep, and I 
 gazed at it with humble reverence, not as the 
 citadel of the Coldpeppers, but as the shrine 
 of my sacred love. Then I chose a place of 
 arabush in a nest of hollies, and approaching 
 the sallyport of Regulus, drew a slow trail from 
 it across the dewy grass to my lurking-place, 
 andTthere waited calmly. 
 
 Sweet visions of love from the ivory gate 
 now favoured me with their attendance, partly
 
 A DOG VIOLATE. 97 
 
 perhaps because love had not allowed me to 
 sleep out my sleep. Far as I am from any 
 claim to the merits of a classical education, I 
 had been for some years, off and on, as a day 
 boy at Hampton Grammar-school, and could 
 do a bit of Yirgil pretty well, and an ode or 
 two of Horace. Whenever Uncle Corny came 
 across a Latin name he would call for me ; and 
 take it altogether, I had long been considered 
 the most learned young man in Sunbury. 
 Even now I remembered, though most of it 
 was gone, the story of the N_ymph who placed 
 her son in ambuscade for Proteus, and the 
 noble description of Regulus on parole, waving 
 off the last kiss of his wife and babes. Glrimly 
 he set his manly visage on the ground ; and 
 my Eegulus was doing the very same thing now. 
 Fat Charles had opened the door with a 
 yawn, and sent forth that animal of Roman 
 type, to snuff the morning air, and perform 
 his toilet, and pay his orisons in general. 
 Luxurious days had told their tale ; it was too 
 plain that Capua had corrupted Sabine sim- 
 plicity. Regulus moved with a listless air, 
 his desire to find whom he might bite lay 
 dormant, and no sense of iniquity pricked his 
 ears, or lifted the balance of his tail. " Let 
 
 VOL. I. H
 
 98 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 the world wag," was the expression of bis eyes, 
 " I get whatever I want in it, and would wag 
 to it also, if I were not too fat." It appeared 
 too certain that if I meant to catch him, I should 
 have to go and bag him where he stood. 
 
 But suddenly down went his nose, and his 
 bristles flew up, and every line of his system 
 grew stiff as wire. He had lit on my trail near 
 a narrow flower-border, and it presented itself 
 with a double aspect. Was it the ever-fresh 
 memory of a cat — not a cat of everyday life 
 of course, but a civet-cat, a musk-cat, a cat of 
 poetic, or even fabulous perfume ? Or was it 
 the long-drawn sweetness of a new ambrosial 
 food, heaven-sent to tempt his once lively, but 
 now vainly wept-for appetite ? Whatever it 
 might be, the line of duty was marked, and 
 beyond evasion. 
 
 Those of our race who have made a study of 
 dogs, for the sake of example, declare that the 
 best and most noble of them follow quest with 
 their noses well up in tlie air. Regulus failed 
 in this test of merit ; he spread his nostrils 
 affably within an inch of where the worms 
 lay, pricked his hairy ears, which were of 
 divers colours, and with the stump of his tail 
 as the loftiest point of his j)6^son, ran a bee-
 
 A DOG VIOLATE. 99 
 
 line towards me. In accordance with his fame, 
 I made ready for a bite ; but to my surprise be 
 paused, when be came point-blank upon me, and 
 seemed taken aback, as with some wbolly new 
 emotion. Regardful of the teacbing of my 
 Nympb, I offered bim a portion of tbe magic 
 sop, and wbile be was intent upon it slipped 
 a stout potato-sack over bis bead, tumbled bim 
 in witb a pusb in tbe rear, and shouldered bim. 
 
 Taking tbe path across tbe fields, I got home 
 without meeting any one, and found Tabby 
 waiting for me near tbe root-bouse, which was 
 simply the trunk of a grand old oak, with a 
 slab of elm fitted as a door to it. No one was 
 likely to visit this old storehouse at the present 
 time of year, and the loudest wailing of tbe 
 largest dog might be carried on in the strictest 
 privacy. But I meant bim to be happy there, 
 and so he was — to some extent. 
 
 For he seemed to resign himself, as if recalling 
 his early adventure in the barrel, and regarding 
 bis later prosperity as a dream ; and probably 
 the charm of tbe drug he bad swallowed acted 
 benignly upon his nerves. At any rate he 
 allowed himself to be secured by a chain and 
 a fold-pitcher, and even licked my hand instead 
 of snarling and showing his teeth. Every
 
 100 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 arrangement was made for bis comfort, and lie 
 lay down as liappy as a lotus-eater. 
 
 After breakfast, I took a little turn in tbe 
 village, and tbere b;id tbe pleasure of seeing 
 fat Cbarles, tbe Cold pepper footman, nearly 
 trying to run, and looking sadly out of breatb. 
 He carried a leading strap, witb no dog to it, 
 and under bis arm was a bundle of papers. As 
 I approacbed him witb kind enquiries, be drew 
 forth his roll and requested me to read, while 
 he was recovering his breath a little. My face 
 must have turned as red as his — for this was 
 tbe first theft I ever committed, except of some 
 apples from a rival grower, a curmudgeon who 
 would not tell us what they were — and I felt 
 very queer as I read the following, written in 
 round hand and with many capitals. 
 
 " Reward of one guinea ! — Lost, stolen, or 
 strayed, a large brindled terrier, known as 
 ' Regulus,' tbe property of Miss Coldpepper of 
 Coldpepper Manor. He is very hard of hearing, 
 and a little fond of snapping. Any person 
 bringing him home will receive the above 
 reward, and no questions asked. Any one 
 detaining him will be prosecuted, with tbe 
 utmost rigour of the law." 
 
 Cbarles had a score perhaps of these placards,
 
 A DOG VIOLATE. 101 
 
 written in sundry hands, and spelt in divers 
 manners, as if all the household had been set to 
 work. 
 
 " Oh, Mr. Kit," he cried, for every one called 
 me that ; " there is the devil to pay, up to the 
 'All, and no mistake ! And all of it blamed on 
 me, as innocent as the babe unborn, and more 
 so, for only obeying of my borders. What did 
 I do, but just turn the brute out — for a brute he 
 is and no mistake, though wholesome in his 
 bite, because it is his nature to ; and no one 
 round these parts would be tough enough in 
 the legs to come forrard with a view of making 
 off with him — then I shut the door to, for his 
 quarter hour airing, as laid down in written 
 borders issued every night. And my hair stood 
 on end when he never come back, the same as 
 his does, when he flies at you." 
 
 " But surely, Charles, some of you must have 
 some suspicion ? " I asked, with astonisliment 
 at ni}^ own vice, and wondering what I should 
 come to, though not far enough gone as yet to 
 look at him ; " why should the dog go from 
 such a good home ? " 
 
 " Because heVe had enougli of it, or we of 
 him at any rate. He ain't been stolen, sir ; the 
 dog have that knowledge of the world, that all
 
 102 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 Seven Dials couldn't lay a tack to him. And 
 everybody knows what our Missus is. A 
 guinea ! Who'd steal a dog for a guinea ? Let 
 alone a dog who'll make a pepper-caster of 
 you. No, no, I always said Old Nick would 
 come for 'un, some blessed morning ; and I'm 
 jiggered if he haven't ! But bless my soul, you 
 mustn't keep me loitering like this, sir. Mother 
 Cutthumb wouldn't have one, to stick up in her 
 dirty old window. Lord knows why. Do 'e take 
 one, and stick on your Uncle's wall ; or a couple 
 if you will, that's a dear young man. There'll 
 be thirty more ready, by eleven o'clock." 
 
 It occurred to me that some of them perhaps 
 had been written by a certain lovely warm 
 hand, which had the most delicious way witli it 
 that could ever be imagined of stealing in and 
 out of muff or glove, and of coming near another 
 hand (as coarse as a crumpet) in a sort of way 
 that seemed to say — " Now wouldn't you like to 
 touch me ? " 
 
 " Who on earth can have written all these ? " 
 I asked. " Mr. Charles, why you must have 
 done most of them yourself." 
 
 " Never a blessed one ; Lord save you, I've 
 a' been on my poor legs, all the morning ! 
 Every maid that could fist a few was ordered
 
 A DOG VIOLATE. 103 
 
 in. But the young leddj fisted them four at 
 the bottom." 
 
 Making due allowance for his miscreant 
 coarseness, I slipped away the lowest four, and 
 two others ; those two I stuck up on the outer 
 face of Uncle Oorny's red-brick wall ; but the 
 other four never were exhibited to the public, 
 nor even to myself, except as a very private 
 view. And every one of them belongs to me 
 at the present moment. The footman thanked 
 me warmly for this lightening of his task, and 
 hurried on towards Rasp the baker, and the 
 linen-draper. 
 
 So far as my memory serves, Uncle Corny 
 got very little work out of me that day. I was 
 up and down the village, till my conscience 
 told me that my behaviour might appear sus- 
 picious ; and I even beheld the great lady her- 
 self, driving as fast as her fat steeds could travel, 
 to get her placards displayed all around in the 
 villages towards London. Although she was not 
 very popular, and the public seemed well pleased 
 with her distress, I felt more than half inclined 
 to take her dear love back, and release him at 
 his own door after dark. But Tabby Tapscott 
 said, and she had a right to speak, — " Don't 'e 
 be a vule now, Measter Kit. Carr' the job
 
 104 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 droo, wanst 'a be about 'un." And just before 
 dark I met Mrs. Marker, and somebody with 
 her, who made my beart jump. They had 
 clearly been sent as a forlorn hope, to go tbe 
 round of the shops where the bills bad been 
 posted. I contrived to ask tenderly whether 
 the dog' was. found. 
 
 " Not he, and never will be," replied the 
 housekeeper. " There are so many people who 
 owe the cur a grudge. Why, he even flies at 
 me, if I dare to look at him. Miss Kitty, tell 
 Mr. Kit what your opinion is." 
 
 " I fear indeed that somebody must have 
 shot him with an air-gun. I am very fond of 
 dogs, when they are at all good dogs ; but very 
 few could praise poor Regulus, except — except 
 as we praise mustard. And I heard of a case 
 very like it in London." 
 
 Her voice was so silvery sweet, and she 
 dropped it (as I thought) so sadly at that last 
 word, that I could not help saying, although 
 I was frightened at my own tone while I said 
 it— 
 
 " Surely you are not goiag back to-morrow ? 
 Do say, that you are not going to leave us all 
 to-morrow." 
 
 Before she could answer, the housekeeper
 
 A DOG VIOLATE. 105 
 
 said sharply — " She was to have gone to-morrow, 
 Mr. Orchardson. But now Miss Coldpepper 
 has made up her mind to send for Captain 
 Fairthorn the first thing to-morrow, unless she 
 recovers the dog meanwhile. Not that he 
 knows anything about dogs, but he is so 
 scientific that he is sure to find out somethinir. 
 Good night, sir ! Come, Kitty, how late we 
 are ! 
 
 Is it needful to say that Eegulus indued a 
 tunic of oak that night ?
 
 106 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 AN UPWARD STROKE. 
 
 The character of Captain Fairthorn — better 
 known to the public now as Sir Humphrey 
 Fairthorn, but he had not as yet conferred 
 dignity upon Knighthood — will be understood 
 easily by those who have the knowledge to 
 understand it. But neither Uncle Corny, 
 nor myself — although we were getting very 
 clever now at Sunbury — could manage at all 
 to make him out at first, though it must have 
 been a great deal easier then, than when we 
 came to dwell upon him afterwards. All that 
 he said was so perfectly simple, and yet he was 
 thinking of something else all the tifne ; and 
 everything he did was done, as if he let some 
 one else do it for him. I cannot make any one 
 understand him, for the plainest of all plain 
 reasons — I could never be sure that I myself 
 understood him. And this was not at all
 
 AN UPWARD STEOKE. 107 
 
 because he meant to be a mystery to any one ; 
 for that was the last thing he would desire, or 
 even believe himself able to be. The reason 
 that kept him outside of our reason — so far as 
 I can comprehend it — was that he looked at 
 no one of the many things to be feared, to be 
 desired, to be praised, or blamed, from the point 
 of view we were accustomed to. 
 
 I had thought that my Uncle Cornelius 
 (though he was sharp enough always, and 
 sometimes too sharp, upon me and my doings) 
 was upon the whole the most deliberate and 
 easy-going of mortals ; but a mere glance at 
 Professor Fairthorn showed how vastly the 
 breadth of mankind was beyond me. To look 
 at his face, without thinking about him, was 
 enough to compose any ordinary mind, and 
 charm away any trivial worries ; but to listen 
 to his voice, and observe him well, and meet 
 his great eyes thoughtfully, and to catch the 
 tranquillity of his smile, this was sufficient to 
 make one ashamed of paltry self-seeking and 
 trumpery cares, and to lead one for the moment 
 into larger ways. And yet he was not a man 
 of lofty visions, poetic enthusiasm, or ardent 
 faith in the grandeur of liumanity. I never 
 heard him utter one eloquent sentence, and I
 
 108 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 never saw liim flush witli any fervour of high 
 purpose. He simply seemed to do his work, 
 because it was his nature, and to have no more 
 perception of his influence over others, than 
 they had of the reason why he owned it. So 
 far as we could judge, he was never thinking 
 of himself ; and that alone was quite enough to 
 make him an enigma. 
 
 Now people may suppose, and very naturally 
 too, that my warm admiration of the daughter 
 impelled me to take an over-lofty view of the 
 father. People would he quite wrong, how- 
 ever, for in that view I was not alone ; every 
 one concurred, and even carried it still further ; 
 and certainJy there was no personal resemblance 
 to set me on that special track. Professor — or 
 as I shall call him henceforth, because he pre- 
 ferred it, Captain Fairthorn — was not of any 
 striking comeliness. His face was very broad, 
 and his mouth too large, and his nose might be 
 said almost to want re-blocking, and other faults 
 might have been found by folk who desire to 
 talk picturesquely. But even the hardest of 
 mankind to please (in everything but self-exam- 
 ination) would have found no need, and small 
 opportunity, for improvement in his eyes and 
 forehead. I know my own stupidity, or at
 
 AN UPWAKD STROKE. 109 
 
 least attempt to do so, when it is not altogether 
 too big ; yet I dare to deny that it had anything 
 to do with the charm I fell under in this man's 
 presence. And tliis is more than proved by 
 the fiict that Uncle Corny— as dry an old 
 Grrower as was ever frozen out — could resist 
 the large quietude of our visitor, even less 
 llian I could. 
 
 For the Captain had been sent for, sure 
 enough, about a little business so far below his 
 thoughts. And when he came into our garden, 
 to thank us for all we had done towards 
 discovery of the thief, and especially to thank 
 me for my valiant services to his daughter, it is 
 no exaggeration at all to say that I wished the 
 earth would hide me from his great gray eyes. 
 Under their kindly and yet distant gaze, I felt 
 what a wretched little trickster I had been ; 
 and if he had looked at me for another moment, 
 I must have told him everything, for the sake 
 of his forgiveness. But he, unhappily for 
 himself, if he could be unhappy^ about little 
 things, measured his fellow-men by his own 
 nature, and suspected nothing until it had been 
 proved. And at that very moment, he caught 
 sight of something, which absorbed him in a 
 scientific zeal we could not follow.
 
 110 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 " A young tree dead ! " he exclaimed ; " and 
 with all its foliage hanging ! Three other 
 yoimi^' trees round it injured on the sides 
 towards it. When did you observe this ? Had 
 you that storm on Saturday ? " 
 
 " Yes, sir, it did rain cats and dogs," my 
 Uncle answered after thinking. " We said that 
 it might break the long bad weather ; and it 
 seems to have done it at last, thank the Lord. 
 There was a lot of lightning, but not so very 
 nigh." 
 
 " Then no trees were struck from above, not 
 even that old oak, which seems to have been 
 struck some years ago ? May I cross the 
 border, and examine that young tree ? Thank 
 you ; have you ever known a case like this 
 before ? " 
 
 They passed very dangerously near the old 
 oak; and I trembled, as that villain of a Regulus 
 showed his base want of gratitude by a long 
 howl ; but luckily neither of them heard it. I 
 went to the door, and threatened him with 
 instant death, and then followed to hear the 
 discussion about the tree. " You have known 
 it before," Captain Fairthorn was saying ; " but 
 not for some years, and if ^-ou remember right, 
 not when the storms were particularly near.
 
 AN UPWARD STROKE. Ill 
 
 I have heard of several similar cases, but never 
 liad the fortune to see one till now. You 
 perceive that the life is entirely gone. The 
 leaves are quite black, but have a narrow yellow 
 margin. Forgive me for troubling you, Mr. 
 Orchardson, but when did you notice this 
 condition of the tree ? " 
 
 " Well, sir, it kept on raining up till dark on 
 Saturday ; and I did not chance to come by 
 here on Sunday. But on Monday morning it 
 was as you see it now — gone off all of a heap, 
 and no cause for it. As healthy a young tree 
 as you would wish to look at — a kind of pear 
 we call Beurre' Diel. Dead as a door-nail, you 
 can see. Kit, get a spade, and dig it up for 
 Professor," 
 
 " Thank you, not yet. I was going home 
 to-night, but this is a matter I must examine 
 carefully. That is to say, with your kind per- 
 mission. We use big words, Mr. Orchardson, 
 that sound very learned ; and we write very 
 positively from other people's observation. But 
 one case, that we have seen with our own eyes, 
 and searched into on the spot to the utmost of 
 our power, is worth fifty we have only read 
 of. You will think me very troublesome, I 
 greatly fear ; and of gardening matters I know
 
 112 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 less than nothing. But you will oblige rae 
 more than I can say, if 3^ou will let me come 
 again, and try to learn some little. You know 
 what has killed this tree, I presume." 
 
 " No, sir, I have not got any sense at all 
 about it," my Uncle answered stoutly ; " 'tis the 
 will of the Lord, when a tree goes off ; or if it 
 is the doing of any chap of mine, he goes off 
 too, and there's an end of it. Something 
 amiss with these roots, I take it." 
 
 His bouts were tipped with heavy iron, and 
 he was starting for a good kick at the dead 
 young tree, when I ran between, and said, 
 " Uncle, let it stay just as it is, for a day or 
 two. It can't draw anything out of the ground ; 
 and this gentleman would like to examine it, as 
 
 it IS. 
 
 " Young gentleman, that is the very point," 
 Captain Fairthorn, as he spoke, looked kindly 
 at me ; " if I could be permitted to have my 
 own way, I w-ould have a little straw shaken 
 round it to-night, as lightly as may be, without 
 any foot coming nearer than can be helped to 
 it. That will keep the surface as it is, from 
 heavy rain, or any other accident. Then if I may 
 be indulged in my crotchets, I would bring my 
 daughter, who draws correctly, to make a careful
 
 AN UPWARD STEOKE. 113 
 
 sketch and colour it. And after that is done, 
 and 1 have used my treble lens at every point of" 
 divergence, I would ask as a very great favour 
 to be allowed to open the ground myself, and 
 trace the roots from their terminal fibres "up- 
 wards. I would not dare to ask all this for my 
 own sake, Mr. Orchardson ; but because we may 
 learn something from it of a thing as yet 
 little understood — what is called the terrestrial 
 discharge. We get more and more into big 
 words, you see. You have known trees de- 
 stroyed in this way before. It only happens on 
 certain strata." 
 
 " It has happened here, sir, for generations," 
 said my Uncle, trying hard to look scientific. 
 "" The thunderstorm bh'ght, is what we call it. 
 We call anything a blight, when the meaning 
 is beyond us. Seems as if some trees was subject 
 to it. I never knew an apple-tree took this 
 way. But pear-trees have been so, times out of 
 mind, though never none but the younger ones. 
 A few years agone, I can't say how many, 
 seventeen young pear-trees were killed outright, 
 ten in one part of the grounds, and seven in 
 another, and not a mark to be found on one of 
 them. All as dead as door-nails, when we 
 come to look at them. A blight, or a blast, 
 
 VOL. I. 1
 
 114 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 that's what we call it. And there's nothing to 
 do, but to plant another." 
 
 " A truly British view of the question," 
 Captain Fairthorn answered with his sweet 
 smile, which threw me into a glow by its like- 
 ness to a smile yet lovelier ; " I wish I could 
 tell you how I feel for the English fruit-grower 
 in his hard struggle with the climate, the 
 dealers, and the foreign competition. It is a 
 hard fight always, much worse than the 
 farmer's ; and a season like this is like knocking 
 a drowning man on the head. And yet you are 
 so brave that you never complain ! " 
 
 The truth of these words, and the tone of 
 gOod-will, made a deep impression upon both of 
 us, especially upon my Uncle, who had to find 
 the money for everything. 
 
 " No, sir, we never complain," he replied ; 
 " we stand up to the seasons, like our own 
 trees ; and we keep on hoping for a better 
 time next year. But there are very few that 
 know our difficulties ; and folk that can scarcely 
 tell a pear from an apple go about the country, 
 spouting and writing by the yard, concerning 
 of our ignorance. Let them try it, is all I sa^, 
 let them try it, if they are fools enough. Why 
 bless my heart, there's a fellovr preaching now
 
 AN UPWAED STROKE. 115 
 
 about sorting of apples, as if we had not done 
 it before he sucked his coral ! But I won't go 
 on maundering — time will show. Glad to see 
 you, sir, at any time ; and if I should happen 
 to be about the grounds, my nephew Kit will 
 see to everything you want. What time shall 
 we see you to-morrow, sir ? " 
 
 We were walking to the gate by this time, 
 and Captain Fairthorn pulled out his watch. 
 I observed that he had a true sailor's walk, and 
 a sailor's manner of gazing round, and the 
 swing of his arms was nautical. 
 
 " What a time I have kept you ! " he ex- 
 claimed with simple wonder ; " and I have 
 forgotten altogether my proper business. 1 
 was to have tried some special means for 
 recovering the dog we were speaking of. Un- 
 less he is heard of to-night, I shall have little 
 time to spare to-morrow. I am bound to do 
 all I can for my good hostess. But to think 
 that a dog, and a dog of no benevolence — 
 according to my daughter — should stand in the 
 way of this most interesting matter ! However, 
 1 will do my best all the morning, and try to be 
 with you by eleven o'clock. If I cannot come 
 then, you will know what the cause is. But 
 even for the best of dogs, 1 must not drop
 
 116 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 the subject. Now I thank you most heartily. 
 Good night ! " 
 
 " What a wonderful man ! " was my Uncle's 
 reflection ; " to know all about trees, and 
 thunderstorms, and dogs, and Covent Garden ! 
 And yet to let a woman twist him round her 
 thumb, and tread on his child, and turn his 
 pockets inside out ! Come along, Kit, I am 
 pretty nigh starved." 
 
 And this wonderful man added yet another 
 crown to his glory that very same night, as I 
 heard. For to him, and his wisdom, was set 
 down the credit of a joyful and extraordinary 
 event. 
 
 A young man, slouching with a guilty con- 
 science and a bag on his back, might have been 
 seen — if hisbadluck had prevailed — approachir)g 
 a fine old mansion craftily, when the shadows 
 stole over the moon, if there was one. Then 
 an accurate observer might have noticed a 
 quadruped of somewhat downcast mien issuing 
 with much hesitation from a sack, and ap- 
 parently reluctant to quit his guardian, who 
 had evidently won his faithful heart. But 
 receiving stern orders to make himself scarce, 
 he might next be seen gliding to a gloomy 
 door, uplifting wistfully one ancient paw,
 
 AN UPWARD STROKE. 117 
 
 scrnping at the paint where it had been scraped 
 before, and then throwing his head back, and 
 venting his long-pent emotions in a howl of 
 inexpressible sadness. The door was opened, 
 the guardian vanished with suspicious prompti- 
 tude, lights were seen glancing in a loi]g range 
 of windows, an outbreak of feminine voices 
 moved the air, and after a shrill and unnatural 
 laugh, came a sound as of hugging, and a cry 
 of — " Run, for your life, for his liver, Jane ! "
 
 118 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 THE FINE ARTS. 
 
 When the butter that truly is butteriiie, and the 
 " Cheddar " of the Great Repubh'c, are grace- 
 fully returned to our beloved grocer, with a 
 feeble prayer for amendment, what does he say? 
 Why, the very same thing that he said upon 
 the last occasion — " Indeed ! All our customers 
 like it extremely ; it is tlie very thing we have 
 had most praise for ;• and this is the very first 
 complaint." 
 
 In like manner I received for answer (when 
 I fain would have sent back to that storekeeper 
 Love a few of the sensations I had to pay for) 
 that everybody praised them, and considered 
 them ennobling, and was only eager once again 
 to revel in their freshness. And to tell the 
 truth, when my own time came for looking 
 calmly back at them, I became one of the 
 larger public, and would have bought them
 
 THE FINE ARTS. 119 
 
 back at any price, as an old man regards his 
 first caning. 
 
 However I did not know that now, and could 
 not stop to analyse my own feelings, which 
 might for the moment perhaps be described as 
 deep longings for a height never heard of. All 
 the everyday cares, and hide-boimd pothers of 
 the people round me, were as paltry pebbles 
 below my feet ; and I longed to be alone, to 
 think of one other presence, and only one. 
 
 Uncle Corny, in his downright fashion, called 
 me as mad as a March hare ; but I was simply 
 sorry for him, and kept out of his way, and 
 tried to work. Tabby Tapscott became a plague, 
 by poking common jokes at me ; and the family- 
 men on the premises seemed to have a grin 
 among themselves, when my back was turned. 
 The only man I could bear to work with, was 
 the long one we called " Selsey Bill," because he 
 came from that part of Sussex, and resembled 
 that endless projection. He was said to have 
 seventeen lawful children — enough to keep any 
 man silent. Moreover he was beyond all doubt 
 the ugliest man in the parish ; which may have 
 added to my comfort in his mute society, as a 
 proof of the facility of wedlock. The sharp 
 click of his iron heel on the treddle of his spade,
 
 120 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 tlie gentle sigh that came sometimes, as he 
 thought of how little he would find for supper, 
 and the slow turn of his distorted eyes as he 
 looked about for the wheelbarrow — all these 
 by some deep law of nature soothed my dreamy 
 discontent. 
 
 But what was there fairly to grumble at ? 
 If I chose to cast my eyes above me, and set my 
 afTections out of reach, reason could not be 
 expected to undo unreason. And hitherto, 
 what luck had led me, what good fortune fed 
 me with the snatches of warm rapture ! Even 
 my own wickedness had prospered, and never 
 been found out. Surely the fates were on my 
 side, and the powers of the air encouraged me. 
 
 What a lovely morning it was now, for the 
 fairest of beings to walk abroad, and for me to 
 be walking in the same direction ! Although 
 the earth was sodden still, and the trees unripe 
 with summer drip, and the autumnal roses hung 
 their sprays with leathery balls, instead of 
 bloom ; yet the air was fresh, and the sky 
 bright blue, and the grass as green as in the 
 May month ; and many a plant, that is spent 
 and withered after a brilliant season, was open- 
 ing its raiment to tempt the sun, and budding 
 into gems for him to polish. The spring, that
 
 THE FINE AKTS. 121 
 
 had forgotten trjst with earth this year, and 
 been weeping for it ever since, was come at last, 
 if only for one tender glance through the russet 
 locks of autumn. Why should not man, who 
 suffers with the distresses of the air and earth, 
 take heart again, and be cheerful with them ; 
 ay, and enjoy his best condition — that of loving, 
 and being loved ? 
 
 There was enough to tempt the gloomiest, 
 and most timid mortal, to make his venture 
 towards such bliss, when Kitty Fairthorn, 
 blushing softly, and glancing as brightly as the 
 sunshine twinkles through a bower of wild rose, 
 came alone to me alone, where I stood looking 
 out for her father. Although I had been think- 
 ing bravely all the things set down above, not 
 one of them kept faith, or helped me to the 
 courage of their reasoning. Instead of tliat, 
 my heart fell low, and my eyes (which had 
 been full of hope) would scarcely dare to render 
 to it the picture of which it held so many, yet 
 never could manage to hold enough. She saw 
 my plight, and was sorry for it, and frightened 
 perhaps both of that and herself 
 
 "It is so unlucky," she said, without looking 
 any more than good manners demanded at me ; 
 " last night I began to think that all was going
 
 122 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 to be quite nice again ; for that very peculiar 
 dog, that my Aunt is so strongly attached to, just 
 came back ; as if he had only gone for a little 
 airing on his own account, and so as to have 
 all the road to himself. He was as fat as ever, 
 but oh so gentle ! And his reputation is not 
 quite that. Perhaps you have heard of him. 
 He seems to be well known." 
 
 " I think I have heard of him. Why, of 
 course it must be the dog that was mentioned 
 in the hand-bills ! We had two of them upon our 
 wall. Mrs. Marker was speaking of him, when 
 you passed on Thursday, only I could not attend 
 to her." 
 
 "Then you ought to have done so," she 
 replied, as if without any idea of my inner 
 thought ; " for there has been the greatest ex- 
 citement about it. But I suppose, inside these 
 walls, and among these trees and lovely flowers, 
 you scarcely know what excitement is." 
 
 " Don't I then ? Oh, I wish I didn't ! " I 
 replied with a deeply sad look at her ; " it is 
 you, who are so much above all this, who can 
 have no idea what real — real — a sort of despair, 
 I mean, is like. But I beg your pardon ; you 
 mustn't notice me." 
 
 " How can 1 help being sorry for you ? " she
 
 THE FINE ARTS. 123 
 
 asked very softly, when our eyes had met. 
 " You have been so good to me, and saved my 
 life. But of course 1 have no right to ask what 
 it is. And I know that the crops are always 
 faihng. And now you have a dear little tree 
 quite dead. My father has sent me, to try to 
 make a careful drawing of it, because it was 
 struck by some extraordinary lightning. And 
 the worst of it is, that he has been called away, 
 and can hardly be back till the evening. He 
 has invented a new conductor, for ships of the 
 Navy, that are to have iron all over and under 
 them, and therefore want protecting. He had 
 a letter from the Admiralty this morning." 
 
 " Oh dear, what a pity ! What a sad loss ! " 
 I replied. " I am afraid it will take us so much 
 longer, without having him here to direct us. 
 And I doubt if my Uncle Cornelius will be able 
 to be with us, half the time." 
 
 " Oh, that is just what I was to say ! " her tone 
 was demure, but her glance quite bright ; " on 
 no account am I to interfere with the valuable 
 time of Mr. Orchardson. Indeed I shall not 
 trouble any one. If I may only be shown the 
 poor tree, and then be allowed to fetch a chair, 
 or a stool, or even a hassock, and then be told 
 where to find some clear water, and perhaps be
 
 124 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 reminded when the time is one o'clock, I am 
 sure I shall do beautifully." 
 
 " You are certain to do beautifully ; there is 
 no other way that you could do. No one shall 
 be allowed to disturb you ; I should like to see 
 any one dare to come near you, except — 
 except " 
 
 " Except Mrs, Tapscott. You see I have heard 
 of her. And it is so kind of you to think of 
 her. Then I shall be quite happy." 
 
 " Mrs. Tapscott indeed ! No, except me myself. 
 I shall lock that chattering woman in the back 
 kitchen, or how could you ever do a stroke ? I 
 am sure it will take you a very long time. There 
 are three other trees that you ought to draw, if 
 you wish to show exactly what the lightning 
 did. I hardly see how you can finish to-day. 
 If you leave off at one o'clock, it will be utterly 
 impossible. And my Uncle Cornelius will be 
 in such a rage, if you think of going back with- 
 out anything to eat." 
 
 " How very kind everybody is down here ! 
 It is the very nicest place I ever have been in. 
 It will be so miserable to go away. I am not 
 at all accustomed to such kindness." Her lovely 
 eyes glistened as she began to speak, and a tear 
 was in each of them as she turned away. I felt
 
 THE FINE ARTS. 125 
 
 as if I could have cried myself, to see such an 
 innocent angel so sad. But I durst not ask any 
 questions, and was bound to go on as if I knew 
 nothing. 
 
 " What a little drawing-block you have ! " I 
 said ; " you ought to have one at least twice that 
 size. Do let me lend you one. I have three or 
 four ; and you can choose which you like of 
 them. And my pencils too, and my colour-box. 
 There are noue to be had in the village. If you 
 will rest a moment in this little arbour, I will 
 get them all, and a chair for you." 
 
 It did not take me long to let Tabby Tapscoft 
 know, that if she dared even to look out of the 
 window, she would mourn for it all the rest of 
 her life ; moreover that she must not let anybody 
 know in what direction I was gone, even if His 
 Grace of C. Gr. himself came down, to grant us 
 the best stall he had for ever. Tabb}^ winked 
 with both eyes, and enquired if I took her for a 
 " vule, or a zany, or a coochey hosebird," and 
 said she would have " zummut good for num- 
 raatin," by one o'clock. And as I hurried back 
 to the bower, there came almost into my very 
 hand the loveliest Souvenir dtun Ami rose that 
 ever lifted glossy pink, to show the richer glow 
 within. This rose I cut with the tender touch
 
 126 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 which a gardener uses boldly, and laid it on my 
 drawing-block, so that each exquisite tinge and 
 fringe and curve of radiant leaflet, as well as 
 the swanlike bend of stalk and soft retirement 
 of sepal, led up to the crowning beauty of the 
 bloom above them. 
 
 " I never saw anything to equal that," said 
 one who might outvie the whole ; " who can 
 have taught you, Mr. Kit, such knowledge of 
 what is beautiful ? " 
 
 She had called me by my village-name ; and 
 more than that, she had let me know that she 
 looked upon me as a rustic. I saw my ad- 
 vantage, and was deeply hurt, that she might 
 make it up again. 
 
 " You are right," I answered, turning back, as 
 if in sad abasement ; " Miss Fairthorn, you are 
 right indeed in supposing that I know nothing. 
 However, I am able to carry a chair, and to 
 wait upon you humbly. Let us go to the tree ; 
 and at one o'clock, I will venture to come, and 
 tell the time." 
 
 " Oh, I never meant it at all like that ! I 
 could never have imagined you would take me 
 up so. I seem to say the wrong thing always, 
 as I am told every day at home. I hoped that 
 it was not true ; but now — now, I have given
 
 THE FINE ARTS. 127 
 
 offence to yon, yon, who have been so good to 
 me. I could never attempt to draw to-day. I 
 will tell my father that I was rude to you, and 
 he will send somebody else to do it." I felt that 
 this would have served me right ; but 1 was 
 not in love with justice. 
 
 " I implore you not to do that," I said ; 
 " really that would be too hard upon me. Why 
 sliould you wish to be hard upon me ? I am 
 trying to think what I have done to deserve it. 
 You are worse than the ground lightning," 
 
 " Then I suppose I killed your trees. I am not 
 going now to be silly any more. Tell me what 
 to do, to show that you have quite forgiven me. 
 You know that I never meant to vex you." 
 She looked at me so sweetly, that I could only 
 meet her eyes. 
 
 " I declare it will be one o'clock, before I 
 have done a thing. What will my father 
 say ? And I must be so careful. I am sure 
 that you could do it better, better much than 
 I can. Will you do it, while I go and look for 
 Mr. Orchardson ? I like him very much, and 
 his fruit is so delicious. No, you won't relieve 
 me ? Well, shake hands, and be good friends 
 again. May I have this lovely rose, to give my 
 father something beautitul, when he comes back 
 from London ? "
 
 128 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 I saw that she was talking f;ist, that ray 
 prudence might come back to me. She knew as 
 well from my long gaze, that I loved her, and 
 must always love her, as I to the bottom of my 
 heart knew it. And she did not seem offended 
 at me, only blushed, and trembled, just as if 
 some important news were come (perhaps by 
 telegraph), and she wondered while she opened 
 it. 
 
 For me this was enough, and more almost 
 than I could hope for — to let her keep this 
 knowledge in her mind, and dwell upon it ; 
 until if happy Angels came — as they gladly 
 would — to visit her, the sweetest of them all 
 might fan it, with his wings, into her heart. 
 
 " Halloa, Kit my lad ! " cried Uncle Corny, 
 when he came to dinner, and my darling was 
 gone with her sketch half done, and I had only 
 dared to hover near her. " Sweetheart been 
 here, they tell me. What a leary chap you are ! 
 When I heard Cap'en was gone to Town, I 
 thought it was all over. I've been wanting you 
 up at packing-shed, for the last three hours. 
 No more good work left in you. That's what 
 comes of sweethearting." 
 
 " Uncle Corny, if you must be vulgar, because 
 you have no proper sense of things, the least
 
 THE FINE ARTS. 129 
 
 you can do is not to halloa, as if you were 
 driving a truck of rags and bones." 
 
 " Hoity, toity ! Here's a go ! One would 
 think there had been no courting done, since 
 Adam and Eve, till your time. Too hot to 
 hold — that's my opinion. And as for rags 
 and bones, young fellow, that's just about what 
 it will come to. The girl won't have sixpence, 
 by what I hear ; though there's lots of tin in 
 the family. I know a deal more than you do 
 about them. Don't pop the question, without 
 my leave." 
 
 What a way to put it ! 
 
 VOL. I.
 
 130 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 AN EMPTY PILE. 
 
 Although no token had passed between ns, and 
 no currency been set up, of that universal inter- 
 change, which my Uncle and Tabby termed 
 " courting," I felt a very large hope now, that 
 the goods I had to offer, — quiet as they were, 
 and solid, without any spangle — were on their 
 way to be considered, and might be regarded 
 kindly. For while I knew how poor I was, in 
 all the more graceful attributes, and little gifted 
 with showy powers of discourse, or the great 
 world's glitter, void moreover of that noble 
 cash which covers every other fault, yet my self- 
 respect and manhood told me that I was above 
 contempt. Haughty maidens might, according to 
 their lights, look down on me ; let them do so, it 
 would never hurt me ; I desired no haughtiness. 
 That which had taken my heart, and led it, with 
 no loss to its own value, was sweetness, gentle-
 
 AN EMPTY PILE. 131 
 
 ness, loving-kindness, tender sense of woman's 
 nature, and the joy of finding strength in man. 
 For though I am not the one to say it, I knew 
 that I was no weakHng, either in body, or in 
 mind. Slow of wit I had always been, and 
 capable only of enjoying the greater gifts of 
 others ; but as I plodded on through life, I found 
 it more and more the truth, that this is the 
 better part to have. I enjoy my laugh ten- 
 fold, because it is a thing I could never have 
 made for myself. 
 
 But for a long time yet to come, there was 
 not much laughter before me. One of the many 
 griefs of love is, that it stops the pores of 
 humour, and keeps a man clogged with earnest- 
 ness. At the same time, he becomes the Gruy, 
 and butt for all the old jokes that can be dis^ 
 charged by clumsy fellows below contempt. 
 None of these hit him, to any good purpose, 
 because he is ever so far above them ; but 
 even the smell of their powder is nasty, as a 
 whiff across his incense. 
 
 For eight and forty hours, it was my good 
 fortune to believe myself happy, and thereby 
 to be so ; though I went to Church twice on 
 Sunday, without seeing any one except the 
 parson, who was very pleasant. But suddenly
 
 132 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 on Monday a few words were uttered ; and I 
 became no better than a groan. 
 
 " Her be gan'," were the words of Mrs. 
 Tapscott. 
 
 " Tabby, what the Devil do you mean ? " 
 I asked, though not at all accustomed to strong 
 language. 
 
 " I tuU 'e, her be gan'. Thee never zee lier 
 no more. Step-moother 'a been down, and 
 vetched her." Tabby herself looked fit to cry ; 
 although there was a vile kind of triumph in 
 her eyes, because she had prophesied it. 
 
 " Do you mean to tell me," I asked slowly, 
 and as if I were preparing to destroy her, " that 
 Miss Fairthorn has been taken away, without 
 even saying ' Good-bye ' to me ? " 
 
 " Can't tull nort about no Good-bais. Her 
 raaight 'a left 'un for 'e. Her be gan to Lunnon 
 town, and no mistake. Zeed the girt coach 
 myzell, and the maid a-crying in her." 
 
 Without thinking propei ly what I was about, 
 I clapped on a hat, and laid hold of a big stick, 
 and set forth upon the London road ; not the 
 Hampton road which runs along the river, but 
 the upper road from Halliford, which takes a 
 shorter course through Twickenham. Tabby 
 ran after me, shouting — "Be 'e mazed? If 'e
 
 AN EMPTY PILE. 133 
 
 could vlai, 'e could never overget her. Be gau' 
 dree hour, or more, I tuU 'e." 
 
 But in spite of that fearful news, I strode on. 
 And I might have gone steadily on till I got 
 to London — for there was the track of the 
 wheels quite plain, the wheels of Miss Cold- 
 pepper's heavy carriage — if I had not met our 
 " Selsey Bill," the Bill Tompkins whom I may 
 have mentioned. My Uncle had sent him to 
 Twickenham, I think, to see about some bushel- 
 baskets ; and he was swinging home with a 
 dozen on his head, which made his columnar 
 height some fifteen feet ; for he was six and 
 three quarters, without his hat. 
 
 In reply to my fervid enquiries, he proceeded, 
 in a most leisurely yet impressive manner, to 
 explain that he had not met the carriage, because 
 it had passed him on his way to Twickenham, 
 and might be expected back by now ; as Miss 
 Coldpepper never allowed her horses to go 
 beyond Notting-Hill Grate, whence her guests 
 must go on other wheels into London. I took 
 half of his baskets (for he was too long to be 
 strong) and so returned to my uncle's gate, with 
 half a dozen " empties " on my head, and a 
 heart more empty than the whole of them. 
 
 This was almost a trifle compared to the grief
 
 134 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 that befell me later on — wliicli has left its mark 
 on me till I die — for though cast down terribly, 
 I was not crushed, and no miserable doubts 
 came to rend me in twain. Though my darling 
 was gone, I could tell where she was, or at any 
 rate could find out in a day or two. And it 
 was clear that she had been carried off against 
 her will ; otherwise how could our Tabby see 
 her crying ? It is a shameful and cruel thing, 
 and of the lowest depths of selfishness, to rejoice 
 at the tears of an Angel ; and I did my very 
 utmost to melt into softest sympathy. To be 
 certain of the need for this, I examined Mrs. 
 Tapscott most carefully as to the evidence. 
 
 " I zeed 'un wi' ray own heyesight ; girt 
 big drops," she said, "the zize of any hazzleuits. 
 Rackon, thee mouth be wattering, Measter Kit, 
 vor to kiss 'un awai." 
 
 This may have been true, but was not at all 
 the proper way to express it. The only thing 
 wrong on my part was, that a lively thrill of 
 selfish hope ran down the veins of sympathy. 
 She wept — she wept ! Why should she weep, 
 except at having left behind her some one whom 
 she would most sadly miss ? Could it be Miss 
 Ooldpepper ? Happily that was most unlikely, 
 from the lady's character. Mrs. Marker ? No,
 
 AN EMPTY PILE. 135 
 
 I think not — a very decent sort of woman, but 
 not at all absorbing. Uncle Corny? Out of the 
 question. A highly excellent and upright man ; 
 but a hero of nails, and shreds, and hammers, 
 and green-baize aprons, and goose-berry knives. 
 Ah, but Uncle Corny has a nephew 
 
 " Kit, I am sorry for you, my boy ; " he 
 came up to me, as I was thinking thus, even 
 before he went to his tobacco-jar ; " you are 
 hard hit, my lad ; I can see it in your face ; 
 and you shall have no more chaff from me. 
 Yery few girls, such as they are now, deserve 
 that any straight and honest young chap, like 
 you, should be down in the mouth about them. 
 But your mother did. Kit, your mother did. 
 And I am not sure but that this Miss Fairthorn 
 does ; though you can't judge a girl by her 
 bonnet. But I am not going to be overcobbed 
 like this. If you have set your heart upon the 
 girl, and she on you, — so be it, Amen ! You 
 shall be joined together." 
 
 My Uncle came up, as he spoke, and looked 
 with friendly intentions at me, and yet with a 
 medical gaze and poise, which inclined me to 
 be indignant. " It takes two parties to make 
 an agreement," I said, neither gratefully, nor 
 graciously.
 
 136 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 " S'pose I don't know that, after all the 
 robberies taken out of me ? But I know what 
 I say, and I tell you, that if your mind is set 
 upon this matter, you shall have it your own 
 way. Only first of all, be sure that you know 
 your mind. Few people do, in this ' ag-e of 
 invention ' — as they call it, without inventing 
 much, except lies — if you are sure that you 
 know your mind, speak out, and have done 
 with it." 
 
 I stood up and looked at him, without a 
 word. All my gratitude for his good-will was 
 lost in my wrath at his doubt of my stedfastness. 
 
 " Yery well," he said, " you need not stare, as 
 if you were thunder and lightning. When you 
 think about it, you will see that I was right ; 
 for this is no easy business. Kit, and not to be 
 gone into, like a toss for sixpence. I have 
 spoiled you, ever since you were a child ; 
 because you had no father, and no mother. 
 You have had your own way wonderfully ; 
 and that makes it difficult for you to know 
 your mind." 
 
 If that were the only obstacle, I ought to 
 have the finest knowledge of my mind ; for the 
 times had been very far asunder, when I had 
 been allowed to follow my own way. But I
 
 AN EMPTY PILE. 137 
 
 knew that Uncle Corny took the other view ; 
 and he had this to bear him out, that he always 
 managed that my way should be his way. It 
 was not the time to argue out that question now ; 
 and one of my ways most sternly barred was 
 that of going counter to him in opinion. So I 
 only muttered that he had been very good to 
 me. 
 
 " I have," he continued ; " and you are bound 
 to feel it. Five shillings a week you have been 
 receiving, ever since you could be trusted to 
 lay in a tree ; as well as your board and 
 lodging, and your boots, and all except 
 tailoring. Yery well, if you set up a wife, 
 you will look back with sorrow on these da3''s 
 of affluence. But to warn you is waste of 
 words, in your present frame. Only I wish 
 you to hear both sides. T have no time now ; 
 but if you like to come to me, when I have 
 done up my books, I will tell you a little story." 
 
 This I promised very readily ; not only to 
 keep him on my side, but because I saw that 
 he knew much, not generally known in 
 Sunbury, of the family matters which concerned 
 my love, and therefore myself, even more than 
 my own. And while he was busy with his 
 books, which he kept in a fashion known only
 
 138 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 to himself, I strolled down the village in the 
 feeble hope of picking up some tidings. It was 
 pleasant to find, without saying much, that our 
 neighbours felt a very keen and kind interest in 
 our doings. There was scarcely a woman who 
 was not ready to tell me a great deal more than 
 she knew ; and certainly not one who did not 
 consider me badly treated. Miss Fairthorn, by 
 her sweet appearance and gentle manner, had 
 made friends in every shop she entered ; and 
 the story of her sudden and compulsory 
 departure became so unsatisfactory, that deep 
 discredit befell our two policemen. But the 
 only new point I discovered, bearing at all 
 upon my case, was gained from Widow 
 Cutthumb. This good lady was now in bitter 
 feud with the house of Coldpepper, although 
 she made it clear that the loss of their custom 
 had nothing to do with it, being rather a 
 benefit than otherwise. 
 
 She told me, with much dramatic force, some 
 anecdotes of Miss Monica, the younger daughter 
 of Squire Nicholas, and a daughter by no means 
 dutiful. She had married, against her father s 
 wish, the Honourable Tom Bulwrag, a gambler, 
 and a drunkard, and if reports were true, a 
 forger. As this appears in my Uncle's tale,
 
 AN EMPTY PILE. 139 
 
 it need not have been referred to, but to show 
 that the lady's early records were not fair 
 among us. After impressing upon me the 
 stern necessity of silence, as to these and other 
 facts, Mrs. Cutthumb ended with a practical 
 exhortation, dependent upon the question 
 whether I had a spark of manhood in me. I 
 replied that I hoped so, but as yet had few 
 opportunities for testing it. 
 
 "Then, Mr. Kit," she proceeded, with her 
 head thrown back and one fat hand clenched, 
 " there is only one thing for you to do — to run 
 away with the young lady. Don't stop me, if 
 you please, Master Kit ; you have no call to 
 look, as if I spoke treason. Better men than 
 you has done it ; and better young ladies has 
 had to bear it. It is what the Lord has 
 ordained, whenever He has made two innocent 
 young people, and the wicked hold counsel 
 together against them. You go home, and 
 dwell upon it. Sure as I am talking to you 
 now, you'll be sorry till your dying day, if you 
 don't behave a little spirity. Do you think I 
 would ever give such advice to a wild young 
 man with no principles, to a fellow I mean 
 like Sam Henderson ? But I know what you 
 are well enough ; and every girl in Sunbury
 
 140 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 knows. 'Tis not for me to praise you to yonr 
 face ; but you are that solid and thick-built, 
 that a woman might trust you with her only 
 daughter. And that makes you slow to look 
 into women. If I may be so bold to ask, 
 how do you take the meaning of it for that 
 sweet Miss Kitty to be fetched home so pro- 
 miscuous ? " 
 
 " Mrs. Outthumb," I answered, with a pene- 
 trating look, to show her that she underrated 
 me, " I fear it must be that some mischief- 
 maker has written up to say that I, that I — 
 you know what I mean, Mrs. Cutthumb." 
 
 " Yes, sir, and you means well so far, and 
 everything straight-forrard ; but you ain't got 
 near the heart of it, Master Kit; nor your 
 Uncle neither, I'll be bound. Wants a woman's 
 wits for that." 
 
 " What on earth do you mean ? It is bad 
 enough. I don't see how even a woman can 
 make it any worse than it is. Speak out what 
 you mean, since you have begun." 
 
 " Well, sir, it is no more than this, and you 
 mustn't be put out by it. Suppose there is 
 another young gent in the case — a young gent 
 in London, they means her to marry." 
 
 The good-natured woman looked so knowing,
 
 AN EMPTY PILE. 141 
 
 that I thought she must have soHd proof; and 
 perhaps the deed was done already. I tried to 
 laugh, but could onlj stare, and wonder what 
 was coming" next. 
 
 " Oh, Master Kit," she went on with her apron 
 to her eyes, for she was kind of heart, " you used 
 to come, and play down here, when your head 
 wasn't up to the counter. And I had my Cut- 
 thumb then, and he give you a penny, because 
 you was so natural. Don't you be struck of a 
 heap like that, or I shall come to think that all 
 women is wicked. It was only a bad thought 
 of my own. I have nothing to go by, if I were 
 to die this minute ; and the same thought might 
 come across any one. Don't think no more 
 about it, that's a dear young man. Only keep 
 your eyes open, and if you can manage to come 
 across that stuck-up Jenny Marker, the least 
 she can do, after saving her life, is to tell you 
 all she knows, and to take your part. But don't 
 you believe more than half she says. I never 
 would say a single word against her, there's no 
 call for that, being known as she is to every 
 true woman in Sunbury ; but if she's not a 
 double-faced gossiping hussy, as fancies that a 
 gold chain makes a lady of her, and very likely 
 no gold after all, why I should deserve to be
 
 142 KIT AXD KITTY. 
 
 taken up, and there's no one has ever said that 
 of me." 
 
 Here Mrs. Cutthumb began to cry, at the 
 thought of being taken to the station ; and I 
 saw that time alone could comfort her, yet 
 ventured to say a few earnest words, about her 
 position and high character. And presently 
 she was quite brisk again. 
 
 " Why bless my heart," she said, looking 
 about for a box of matches on the onion shelf; 
 " I ought to have stuck up my candle in the 
 window, pretty well half an hour agone. Not 
 that no customer comes after dark, nor many 
 by daylight, for that matter. Ah, Master Kit, 
 I am a poor lone widow ; but you are the nicest 
 young man in Sunbury ; and I wish you well, 
 with all my heart I do. And mind one thing, 
 whatever you do ; if you ever carries out what 
 I was saying, here's the one as will help you to 
 it, in a humble way, and without much money. 
 A nice front drawing-room over the shop, 
 bed-room, and chamber-suit to match. Only 
 twelve shillings a week for it all, and the use 
 of the kitchen fire for nothing. And the win- 
 dow on the landing looks on the river Thames, 
 and the boats, and the barges, and the fisher- 
 men. Oh, Mr. Kit, with Mrs. Kitty now and 
 then, it would be like the Garden of Eden."
 
 ( 143 ) 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 MY IJNOLE BEGINS. 
 
 That last suggestion was most delicious, but 
 it came too late to relieve the paug of the 
 horrible idea first presented. I could not help 
 wondering at my own slow wit, which ought 
 to have told me that such a treasure as my 
 heart was set upon, must have been coveted 
 long ere now, by many with higher claims to 
 it. Was it likely that I, a mere stupid fellow, 
 half a rustic, and of no position, birth, or 
 property, should be preferred to the wealthy, 
 accomplished, and brilliant men, who were sure 
 to be crowding round such a prize ? Black 
 depression overcame me ; even as the smoke 
 of London, when the air is muggy, falls upon 
 some country village, wrapping in funereal gloom 
 the church, the trees, the cattle by the pond, 
 and the man at the window with his newspaper. 
 I could not see my way to eat much supper, 
 and my Uncle was crusty with me.
 
 144 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 " Can't stand this much more," be said, as he 
 finished the beer that was meant for me ; " a 
 plague on all girls, and the muffs as well that 
 go spooning after them ! Why, the Lord might 
 just as well never have made a Williams pear, 
 or a catshead codlin. S'pose you don't even 
 want to hear my story ; you don't deserve it 
 anyhow. Better put it off, till you look brighter, 
 for there isn't much to laugh at in it, unless it 
 is the dunder-headed folly of a very clever man." 
 
 However I begged him to begin at once ; for 
 he had hinted that his tale would throw some 
 light on the subject most important in the world 
 to me ; so I filled him five pipes that he might 
 not hunt about, and made his glass of rum and 
 water rather strong, and put the black stool for 
 his legs to rest on, and drew the red curtain 
 behind his head, for the evening was chilly, and 
 the fire cheerful. 
 
 " Like to do things for myself," he muttered, 
 while accepting these little duties. " Nobody 
 else ever does them right, though meaning it 
 naturally for the best. Well, you want to hear 
 about those people ; and you shall hear all I 
 know, my lad ; though I don't pretend to know 
 half of all ; but what I know I do know, and 
 don't talk at random, like the old women here.
 
 MY UNCLE BEGINS. 145 
 
 We'll take them in branches — male and female 
 — until thej unite, or pretend to do it ; but a 
 very poor splice ; the same as you see, if you 
 send for Camelias to Portugal, a great clumsy 
 stick-out at the heel of the graft, and the bark 
 grinning open all along. Bah ! There's no 
 gardeners like Englishmen, though we run 'em 
 down for fear of boasting. Did you ever hear 
 why Professor Fairthorn would ever so much 
 rather be called ' Captain,' though ' Professor ' 
 sounds ever so much better ? " 
 
 " Perhaps he has a legal right to be called 
 ' Captain,' but not to the other title. I have 
 heard that hundreds of people call themselves 
 Professors, without any right to do it. And I 
 am sure he would never like to be one of them." 
 
 " That has got nothing to do with it. He has 
 held some appointment that gave him the right 
 to the title, if he liked it. The reason is that 
 his wife always calls him * Professor ; ' and so 
 it reminds him of her. Ah, don't you be in 
 this outrageous hurry for a wife of your own, 
 Master Kit, I say. For all I know, the Captain 
 may have been as wild for her, some time, as 
 you are for your Kitty. What can you say to 
 that, my lad ? " 
 
 " Why, simply that you don't know at all 
 
 VOL. I. L
 
 146 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 what you are talking- about, Uncle Corny. My 
 Miss Fairthorn is not that lady's daughter, and 
 is not to be blamed for the whole of her sex, 
 any more than you are for the wliole of yours." 
 
 " There is something in that, when one comes 
 to see it," my Uncle replied ; for his mind was 
 generally fair, when it cost him nothing. " But 
 you must not keep on breaking in like this, or 
 you won't have heard half of it, this side of 
 Christmas. Well, I was going to take them 
 according to their sexes, the same as the Lord 
 made them. And first comes the lady, as she 
 hath a right to do, being at the bottom of the 
 mischief. 
 
 *' When I was a young man, thirty year or 
 more agone, there used to be a lot of talk about 
 the two handsome Miss Coldpeppers, of the 
 Manor Hall down here. There used to be a 
 lot also of coaches running, not so much through 
 Sunbury, which lay to one side of the road, 
 though some used to pass here on their way to 
 Chertsey ; and there was tootle-tootle along 
 father's walls, three or four times a day. But 
 the most of them went further back, along the 
 Staines and Windsor road, where the noise was 
 something wonderful ; and it's my opinion that 
 these Railway things will never be able to
 
 MY UNCLE BEGINS. 147 
 
 compare with it. They may make as much 
 noise for the time, but it seems to be over, 
 before the boys can halloa. 
 
 " Lots of young" sparks, and bucks, and dan- 
 dies, and Corinthians, and I forget what else, 
 but all much finer tlian you can see now, used to 
 come down by the coaches then, some of them 
 driving, some blowing the horn, some upon the 
 roof like merry- Andrews, making fools of them- 
 selves as we should call it now, and not be far 
 wrong either. They were much bigger men 
 than I see now, in their size, and their way of 
 going on, and their spirits, and their strength 
 of life, and likewise in their language. And 
 the manners of the time were as different as can 
 be, more frolicsome like, and more free and 
 jovial ; and they talked about the ladies, and 
 to them also, ten times as much as they do 
 now ; and things were altogether merrier for 
 them that had the money, and no worse for 
 them that hadn't got it, so far as I can see. 
 Ah, there was something to be done in growing 
 then — pineapples ordered at a guinea a jDound, 
 and grapes at fifteen shillings, though of course 
 you didn't always get your money. I'm blest 
 if I won't have another glass of rum and water. 
 
 " Well, old Squire Nicholas, as they call him
 
 148 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 now, was as proud as Punch of his two fine 
 daughters, and expected them to marry at least 
 an Earl apiece, by their faces and fine figures. 
 And they went about with great folk in Town, 
 and to Court, and all that sort of thing, looking 
 fit to marry the King almost, in their velvets, 
 and their satin furbelows. The eldest daughter 
 was Arabella, our Miss Coldpepper to this day, 
 and the other was Miss Monica ; as fine a pair 
 of women as the Lord ever made. But for all 
 tliat, see what they come to ! 
 
 "There was no love lost between them even 
 then, jealous of one another no doubt, like two 
 cats over a fish-bone. Some said that one was 
 the handsomer of them, and some said the 
 other. There was a good bit of difference 
 between them too, tliough any fool could tell 
 they were sisters. Such eyes and noses as you 
 won't see now, and hair that would fall to their 
 knees, I've been told, and complexions as clear 
 as a white-heart cherry, and a cock of the chin, 
 and a lordly walk — they deserved the name 
 they went by in London, ' the two Bright Suns 
 of Sunbury.' But after all, what good came 
 of it ? One is an old maid, and the other — 
 well, not very likely to go to heaven, though 
 she hasn't had much of that yet on earth. Kit,
 
 MY UNCLE BEGINS. 149 
 
 I have seen a deal of womon, as much as is 
 good for any mortal man ; and I tell you the 
 first thing, and the second, and the third, and 
 the whole to the end of the chapter of them 
 depends upon their tempers. Ah, those two 
 beauties were beauties at that ; but Miss Monica 
 ever so mucli the worse. 
 
 " It seems that they both might have married 
 very well, if it had not been for that stumbling- 
 block. Many young women go on so soft, and 
 eye you so pleasant, and blush so sweet, that 
 you'd fancy almost there was no such thing as 
 a cross word, or a spitfire look, or a puckered 
 forehead in their constitution ; and angels is 
 the name for them, until it is too late to fly 
 away. Bat these two Misses had never learned 
 how to keep their tempers under for a week 
 together ; and it seems that they never cared 
 enough for any one to try to do it. Till there 
 came a man with a temper ten times as bad as 
 both of theirs put together ; and then they fell 
 in love with him hot and hearty. This was a 
 younger son of Lord Roarmore, a nobleman 
 living in North Wales, or Ireland — I won't be 
 certain which — and he was known as the 
 Honourable Tom Bulwrao;. He used to drive 
 the Windsor coach from London down to
 
 150 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 Hounslow ; for the passengers could stand him, 
 while the stones and air were noisy ; but there 
 he was forced to get down from the box ; for 
 nothing that lived, neither man, nor horse, nor 
 cow in the ditch, could endure this gentleman's 
 language, when there was too much silence to 
 hear it in. 
 
 " I suppose he M^as quiet among the ladies, 
 as many men are, who can speak no good. 
 And perhaps our two ladies fell in love with 
 him, because he was a bigger sample of them- 
 selves. Not that they ever used swearing 
 words, only thought them, as it were, and let 
 other people know it. Any way, both of them 
 took a fancy to him, though their father would 
 not hear of it ; for the gentleman was not 
 wealthy enough to have any right to such 
 wickedness. Perhaps that made them like him 
 all the more, for they always flew in the face of 
 Providence. And for doing of that, they both 
 paid out, as generally happens here, that we 
 may see it. 
 
 "So far as I can tell, and I had better chances 
 of knowing than any one else outside the house, 
 everything was settled for the Honourable 
 Tom to run away to Bath with Miss Arabella, 
 with special licence, and everything square.
 
 MY UKCLE BEGINS. 151 
 
 But whether she was touched in heart about 
 her father (whose favourite she had always 
 been), or whether her lover came out too strong 
 in his usual style, or whether her sister Monica 
 had egged her on to it, sure enough she bjazed 
 out into such a fury, just when they were start- 
 ing, and carried on so reckless, that the Honour- 
 able Torn, who had never quite made up his 
 mind, was frightened of what she would be by 
 and by, and locked her in a tool-house at the 
 bottom of the grounds, and set off with Miss 
 Monica that same hour, changed the name in 
 the licence, and married her. 
 
 " Without being too particular, you might 
 fairly suppose that a job of this kind was not 
 lilcely to end well. Miss Monica had taken 
 with her one — what shall I say? Certainly 
 not servant, nor attendant, nor inferior in any 
 way " 
 
 My Uncle here seemed to feel a certain want 
 of power to express himself; and I knew that he 
 was beating about the bush of the one and only 
 one romance of his dry and steady life. He 
 turned away, so that I could not see his eyes, 
 and I did not wish to. look at them. 
 
 " Well, that is neither here nor there," he con- 
 tinued, after pushing more tobacco into a pipe
 
 152 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 too full already ; " but she took away a young 
 lady of this neighbourhood, to whom she ap- 
 peared to be much attached, and who alone had 
 any power to control her furious outbreaks, just 
 because she always smiled at them, as soon as 
 they were over. The sweet-tempered girl could 
 never quite believe that the Fury was in earnest, 
 because it was so far beyond her own possi- 
 bilities ; and the woman of fury did a far worse 
 thing than the wrecking of her own stormy life, 
 she also wrecked a sweet, and gentle, loving, 
 and reasonable heart. Never mind that ; it often 
 happens, and what does the selfish Fury care ? 
 Miss Monica became, as I have said, the 
 Honourable Mrs. Bulwrag, and then she reaped 
 the harvest she had sown. 
 
 " For in the first place Yiscount Roarmore, 
 being a hot-headed man likewise, stopped every 
 farthing of his son's allowance, and said — ' Go 
 to your new ftither. Your pretty cousin Rose, 
 with five thousand pounds a year, was ready to 
 marry you, in spite of all your sins, and you had 
 promised to marry her. You have taken one of 
 those two girls, who were called the "Bright Suns 
 of Sunbury," till people found out what they 
 were, and called tbem the two " Raging Suns." 
 Now rage her down, if you can, and you ought
 
 MY UNCLE BEGINS. 153 
 
 to be more than a match for a woman. In any 
 case, expect no more from me.' 
 
 " Then the young man came to Squire Nicho- 
 las, and screwed himself down to eat humble-pie. 
 But the Squire said, ' Sir, you have married my 
 daughter, without asking my leave, and against 
 it. I still have a dutiful daughter left. She is 
 my only one henceforth.' Then the young man 
 broke into the strongest language ever yet 
 heard at Coldpepper Hall, although it had never 
 been weak in that line. He was very soon 
 shown the outside of the door, and got drunk 
 for the night at the ' Bell and Dragon.' 
 
 " Then began the rough and tumble work be- 
 tween those two — the hugging and the hating, 
 the billing and the bullying, the kissing and the 
 kicking, all and every up and down of laughing, 
 sobbing, scratching, screeching, that might be 
 in a wild hyena's den. How they contrived to 
 hold together so long as they did, Heaven only 
 knows, or perhaps the opposite place to Heaven. 
 There must have been some fierce love between 
 them, some strange suitability ; as if each per- 
 ceived the worst part of himself or herself in 
 the other, and flew to it, as well as flew at it. 
 What kept them together was a mystery; but 
 what kept them alive was a darker one. With-
 
 154 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 out friends, or money, or credit, or visible 
 robbery, they fought on together, for five or 
 even six years, now here and now there. Three 
 children they had, and fought over them of 
 course, and perhaps began to teach them to 
 fight each other, at least so far as example goes. 
 " But suddenly this queer union was broken 
 "up for ever. Mr. Bulwrag did something which 
 risked his neck ; he believed that Squire Nicho- 
 las was bound to contribute to the support of 
 his grandchildren, and he made him do his 
 duty, without knowing it. Then, having 
 arranged for a three days' start, he was well 
 upon his voyage before pursuit began. It is 
 not very easy to catch a man now, when he 
 has a good start, and knows the world ; but 
 five and twenty years ago, it was generally 
 given up as a bad job ; unless the reward was 
 astounding. No reward was oftered, and the 
 Honourable Tom was next heard of from Soutii 
 America, where there seem to be a lot of little 
 States, which never allow their civil wars to 
 abate their wars with one another. This con- 
 dition of things was exactly to his taste ; his 
 courage and strong* language made their way ; 
 he commanded the forces of one great Republic, 
 with the title of ' Marshal Torobelle,' and he
 
 MY UNCLE BEGINS. 155 
 
 promised to send some money home in the last 
 letter ever received from him. 
 
 " His deserted wife said after that, that she 
 truly would believe in everything, if she ever 
 saw a ten-pound note from her beloved husband. 
 But she never was put to the trial, for the next 
 news was that he was dead. He had found it 
 much to his advantage to learn to swear in 
 Spanish ; and being proud of this, because he 
 had little other gift of lingo, he tried it upon a 
 young Spanish officer, who did not take it 
 cordially. After parade, they had a private 
 fight, and Marshal Torobelle could swear no 
 more, even in his native language. His friends, 
 for he. seems to have been liked out there, wrote 
 a very kind letter in bad French, telling how 
 grand he had been, and how faithful, but 
 grieving that he had left no affairs, to place 
 them in a state to remember him. Then the 
 Marshal's widow bought expensive mourning, 
 for he had left with her a thousand pounds of 
 the proceeds of his forgery, and wrote to his 
 father, Lord Roarmore. 
 
 "Kit, I have found that one can generally 
 tell what a man will do, in certain cases, from 
 a rough outline of his character. What a woman 
 will do, no man can tell, though he fancies he
 
 156 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 knows her thoroughly. My Lord Eoarmore 
 was a violent man, and hot more than hard in 
 his resolution. And he took it very kindly that 
 his son, when driven hard, had forged the name 
 of the father-in-law, and not of the father, as he 
 might have done. He was beginning to relent 
 already, and finding it too late naturally relented 
 altogether. He talked of his noble and gallant 
 son, and although himself in difficulties, bravely 
 settled five hundred pounds a year upon the 
 widow and the little ones. 
 
 " I dare say you are surprised, my lad, that 
 I should have come to know so much of this 
 unhappy story ; more I believe than is even 
 known by the lady's own sister — our Miss Cold- 
 pepper. Women are slower to forgive than 
 men, and slower in begging to be forgiven. 
 Arabella has never forgiven her sister for run- 
 ning away with her lover ; and Monica has 
 never forgiven her sister for making such a fuss 
 about it. They may try to pull together, when 
 it suits their purpose ; but the less they see of 
 one another, the greater the chance of their 
 reconciliation. But I am not come to the poor 
 Captain yet; and, bless my heart, it is ten 
 o'clock ! What a time to stay up about other 
 people's business ! If you want to hear the 
 rest, you must have it to-raorrow."
 
 ( 157 ) 
 
 CHAPTER XIY. 
 
 AND ENDS WITH A MORAL. 
 
 AiiL through the following day, we were forced 
 to be hard at work, whether we liked it or not, 
 gathering a large lot of early apples, such as 
 Keswick, Sugarloaf, and Julien, wdiich would 
 have been under the trees by this time in an 
 early season. But this, through the chill and 
 continual rain of the time that should have 
 been summer, was the latest season within 
 human memory ; which (like its owners) is not 
 very long. And now a break-up of the weather 
 was threatened, at which Ave could not grumble, 
 having now enjoyed ten da^^s without any rain 
 — a remarkable thing in much better years than 
 this. And in this year it truly was a God-send, 
 helping us to make some little push, before the 
 winter closed over us, and comforting us to look 
 up to Heaven, without being always beaten 
 down. The people who live in great cities,
 
 158 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 where they need only go a few yards all day 
 long, and can get beneath an awning or an arch- 
 way, if a drop of rain disturbs their hats, give 
 the weather ten bad words for every one we 
 give it ; though we are bound to work in it, and 
 worse than that, have our livelihood hanging 
 upon it. Not that we are better pleased than 
 they ; only that our more wholesome life, and 
 the strength of the trees, and the unexhausted 
 air, perhaps put into us a kinder spirit to make 
 the best of things that are ordered from above. 
 
 Few things in the manner of ordinary work 
 become more wearisome after a while than the 
 long-continued gathering of fruit. The scent, 
 which is delightful to those who catch a mere 
 whiff of it in going by, becomes most cloying 
 and even irksome, to those who have it all day 
 in their nostrils. And the beauty of the form 
 and colour too, and the sleek gloss of each fine 
 sample, lose all their delight in the crowd of their 
 coming, and make us even long to see the last 
 of them. Every man of us, even Uncle Corny, 
 to whom every basket was grist for the mill, felt 
 heartily glad when streaky sunset faded softly 
 into dusk, when flat leaf looked as round as 
 fruit, and apples knocked our heads instead of 
 gliding into the ready hand.
 
 AND ENDS WITH A MORAL. 159 
 
 " Now mind one thing," said my Uncle with 
 a yawn, when, after a supper of liver and bacon 
 knowingly fried by Mrs. Tabby, his pipe was 
 between his teeth and all his other needs were 
 toward ; " if I go on with my tale to-night, I am 
 likely enough to leave out something which 
 may be the gist of it. For I feel that sleepy, 
 after all this job, that I can scarcely keep my 
 pipe alight. However you have worked well 
 to-day, and shown no white feather for your 
 sweetheart's sake ; and of course you want to 
 know most about her, and how she comes into 
 this queer tale. Poor young thing, she smiles 
 as sweetly, as if she trod a path of roses, 
 instead of nettles, and briars, and flint ! Ah, I 
 suppose she forgets her troubles, whenever she 
 looks at you, my lad." This made my heart 
 beat faster than any words of his tale I had 
 heard till now. 
 
 " As if she cared for me ! As if it were pos- 
 sible for any one to imagine that she would 
 ever look twice at me ! Uncle Corny, I thought 
 you were a wiser man." I hoped that this might 
 lead him on. 
 
 " To be sure, I was making a mistake," he 
 answered, looking as if it were just the same 
 thing. " When I said you, I meant of course
 
 160 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 Sam Henderson, the racing man. That's the 
 young fellow that has her heart. How beauti- 
 fully she smiled when I mentioned him, and 
 blushed when I said he was the finest fellow 
 anywhere round Sunbury, and the steadiest, 
 and the cleverest. 
 
 " No, no, Kit ; it's all my fun. You needn't 
 be looking at the carving-knife. You know 
 how I hate Sam Henderson, a stuck-up puppy, 
 and a black-leg too, according to my ideas. A 
 girl who respects herself, as your Kitty does, 
 would have nothing to say to him. But she 
 might to a fine young gardener perhaps. 
 
 " Well, I have told you all about the first 
 marricige and the widowhood of that precious 
 Monica Coldpepper. What fools men are — what 
 wondrous fools ! Here was a widow, not over 
 young, with a notorious temper, and no money, 
 or none of her own at any rate, and hampered 
 with three children — let me tell you their names 
 while I think of it, Euphrasia, Donovan, and 
 Greraldine — there's no duty to pay on a name, 
 you know. Now would not any one have sworn 
 that a woman like that might wear the weeds, 
 until she had stormed herself to death ? Not a 
 bit of it, my lad ; she married again, and she 
 married the cleverest man in London ; and more
 
 AND ENDS WITH A MORAL. 161 
 
 than that, she got every farthing of his pro- 
 perty settled upon her, although the poor man 
 had a child of his own ! And I am told that 
 she might have had a dozen other men. 
 
 " She was still a fine woman certainly, for it 
 must have been some twelve years ago ; and 
 she is a fine woman to this very day„ according 
 to those who have seen her ; wliich I hope I may 
 never do, for reasons I will not go into. But 
 beside her appearance, what one thing was there 
 to lead a sane man to marry her ? And a man 
 who had lost a sweet-tempered wife, a beautiful, 
 loving, and modest woman, as like your Kitty 
 as two peas ! Sometimes I feel sorry for him, 
 when I think of his former luck ; and sometimes 
 I am glad that he is served out, for making 
 such a horrible fool of himself Nearly any 
 other man would have hung himself, for the 
 lady has gone from bad to worse, and is now a 
 thorousrh termairant ; but this man endures her 
 as if she were his fate. Do you know who he 
 is ? You must know now." 
 
 " Yes, I have known it, since you began ; 
 and from what other people said, I suspected it 
 before." As I answered thus, I was thinking 
 how this condition of things would affect my 
 chance. 
 
 VOL. I. M
 
 162 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 " You don't seem at all astonished, Kit ; " ray 
 Uncle went on with some disappointment at 
 losing his sensation. " You young folk have 
 so little sense, that you make it a point of 
 honour never to be surprised by anything. If 
 anybody had told me, without my knowing it 
 already, that a man of great intellect, like Pro- 
 fessor Fairthorn, would make such a fool of 
 himself, and then submit to have no life of his 
 own, I should have said it was a crazy lie. But 
 there is the truth, my boy, not to be got over ; 
 and far worse than at first sight appears. A 
 man who robs himself may be forgiven ; but not 
 a man who robs his children. It is the differ- 
 ence between suicide and murder. 
 
 " Yery likely, you are surprised that I, who 
 have not a sixpence at stake, and not even a 
 friend involved in the matter, should get so hot 
 about it, as I can't help being. There are plenty 
 of viragoes in the world ; there are plenty of 
 good men who cower before them, for the sake 
 of their own coward peace ; also there are 
 robberies in abundance, of children who cannot 
 defend themselves, and of people who can — so 
 far as that goes. And ninety-nine men in a 
 hundred would say — ' Well, this is no concern of 
 mine. It is a very sad and shameful thing, but
 
 AND ENDS WITH A MORAL. 163 
 
 it docs not touch my bread and cheese. Great is 
 truth, and it will prevail ; and I hope I may- 
 live to see it.' But, Kit, my boy, the worst 
 wrong of all was mine. A deadlier wrong has 
 been done to me, than of money, or lands, or 
 household peace. My life has been wrecked by 
 that devil of a woman, as if it were a toy-boat 
 she sunk with her slipper. I did not mean to 
 tell you — an old man cannot bear to talk of such 
 things to young people. Is your whole heart 
 set upon your Kitty ? " 
 
 I had never seen my Uncle so disturbed 
 before ; and, to tell the plain truth, I was 
 frightened by it. Sometimes I had seen him in 
 a little passion, when he found a man he trusted 
 robbing him, or the dealers cheated him beyond 
 the right margin, or some favourite plant was 
 kicked over ; but he never lost his power then 
 of ending with a smile, and a little turn of 
 words would change his temper. But this was 
 no question of temper now. His solid face was 
 hardened, as if cast in stone ; not a feature of it 
 moved, but his gray curls trembled in the 
 draught, and his hand upon the table quivered. 
 I answered that my whole heart was set upon 
 my Kitty, but I knew that I should never win 
 her.
 
 164 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 " If she is true to you, you shall. That is, if 
 you behave as a man should do ; " he spoke 
 very slowly, and with a low voice, almost as if 
 talking to himself ; " if you are wise enough to 
 let no lies, or doubts, or false pride come between 
 you. There is no power, but the will of God, 
 that can keep asunder a man and woman, who 
 have given their lives to each other. All the 
 craft, and falsehood, and violence of the world 
 melt away like a mist, if they stand firm and 
 faithful, and abide their time. But it must hold 
 good on both sides alike. Both must disdain 
 every word that comes from lying lips, from the 
 lips of all, whether true or false, except one 
 another. Remember, that is the rule, my lad, 
 if rogues and scoundrels, male or female, come 
 between you and the one you love. It has been 
 the black streak in my life. It has kept me 
 lonely in the world. Sometimes it seems to 
 knock me over still. I have not spoken of it 
 for years ; and I cannot speak of it even now 
 any more — not any more." 
 
 He rose from his chair, and went about the 
 room, as if it were his life, in which he was 
 searching for something he should never find. 
 To turn his thoughts, and relieve my own, I 
 took a clean pipe and filled it ; and began to
 
 AND ENDS WITH A MORAL. 165 
 
 pufF as if I liked it, although in those days I 
 seldom smoked. This had been always a 
 reproach against me ; for a smoker seems to 
 love a contribution to bis cloud. 
 
 " Well done, Kit, you are a sensible fellow ; " 
 said my Uncle, returning to his usual mood. 
 " Tobacco is the true counterblast to care. 
 You take up your pipe, and I will take up my 
 parable, without going into my own affairs. I 
 never told you how that confounded woman — 
 the Lord forgive me if I bear malice, for I trust 
 that He shares it with me — how she contrived 
 to hook the poor Professor, and, what is still 
 worse, every farthing of his money. 
 
 " Not that I believe, to give the devil his due, 
 that she souo:ht hira first for the sake of his 
 money. He had not very much of that — for it 
 seldom goes with brains that stamp their own 
 coinage — but through his first wife, a beautiful 
 and loving woman, be owned a nice house with 
 large premises, in a rich part of London, or rather 
 of the outskirts, where values M^ere doubling 
 every year, as the builders began to rage round it. 
 Also he had about five thousand pounds of hers, 
 which was not under settlement, and perhaps 
 about the same amount of his own, not made by 
 himself (for he had no gift of saving) but
 
 166 KIT AND KITTT. 
 
 coming from bis own family. Altogether he 
 was worth about twenty thousand pounds ; 
 whicli he justly intended for his only child. 
 
 " This was' pretty handsome, as you would 
 say, and he took care not to imperil it, by any 
 of his patents, or other wasteful ways. He had 
 been for many years in the Royal Navy, and 
 commanded at one time a new-fangled ship, 
 with iron sheathings, or whatever they are called, 
 which are now superseding the old man-of-war. 
 Here he had seemed to be in his proper element, 
 for he knew the machinery and all that, as well 
 as the makers did, and much better than any 
 of the engineers on board ; and he might have 
 been promoted to almost anything, except for 
 his easy-going nature. He had not the stern- 
 ness, and strength of will, which were needful 
 in his position ; and though everybody loved 
 and respected him, the discipline of the ship in 
 minor matters fell abroad, and he was super- 
 seded. 
 
 " This cut him to the quick, as you may 
 suppose ; for he still was brooding over the 
 loss of his first dear wife, which had befallen 
 him, while he was away on some experimental 
 cruise. Between the two blows, he was terribly 
 out of heart, and came back to his lonely London
 
 AND EXDS WITH A MORAL. 167 
 
 house, ill the state of mind, which is apt to lay 
 a man at the mercy of a crafty and designing 
 woman. Unhappily he was introduced just 
 then to Mrs. Bulwrag ; and she fell in love 
 with him, I do beheve, as far as she was capable 
 of doing it. Though she might have flown, and 
 had been flying at higher game in a certain 
 s 3nse, she abandoned all others, and set the 
 whole strength of her will, which was great, 
 upon conquering him. She displayed the most 
 tender and motherly interest in his little darHng 
 daughter ; she was breathless with delight at 
 his vast scientific attainments, and noble dis- 
 coveries ; she became the one woman in all the 
 world, who could enter into his mind, and 
 second his lofty ideas for the grandeur of 
 humanity. Unluckily they were so far apart in 
 their natures, that no collision yet ensued, 
 which might have laid bare her true character, 
 and enforced the warnings of his many friends. 
 Not to make too long a story of it, she led him 
 to the matrimonial altar — as the papers call it 
 — without any solicitor for his best man, but 
 a very sharp one behind her. With the care- 
 lessness of a man of genius, added to his own 
 noble faith in woman, he had signed a marriage 
 settlement, which gave her not only a life-
 
 168 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 interest in all his property, but a separate power 
 of disposal by assignment, whicb might be exer- 
 cised at any time. And the trustees were old 
 allies of hers, who were not beyond suspicion of 
 having been something even more than that. 
 
 " However she loved her dear Professor — as 
 she insisted on calling him — for a certain time, 
 with the fervour of youth, though she must 
 have been going on for forty, and she led him 
 about in high triumph, and your Kitty was sent 
 to a poor boarding-school. ' The Plonourable 
 Mrs. Bulwrag-Fairthorn,' as, in defiance of 
 custom, she engraved herself, became quite the 
 fashion among a certain lot, and aspired to climb 
 yet higher. For if she has a weakness, it is to 
 be among great people, and in high society. 
 She changed the name of the poor Professor's 
 house at South Kensington to ' Bulwrag Park,' 
 she thought nothing of paying thirty pounds 
 for a dress, and she gave large parties all the 
 nio;ht lono;. Meanwhile he went about his 
 work, and she took possession of every half- 
 penny he earned, and spent it on herself and her 
 children. Her boy and two girls were pampered 
 and indulged, while Kitty was starved and 
 threadbare. 
 
 " You have seen the sort of man he is — simple,
 
 AND ENDS WITH A MORAL. 169 
 
 quiet, and "ud pretending, full of bis own ideas 
 and fancies, observing everytbing in tbe way of 
 nature, but caring very little for the ways of 
 men. He kept binaself out of tbe wbirl sbe 
 lived in, and tried to believe tbat sbe was a 
 good, tbougb ratber noisy woman. But sud- 
 denly all bis good-will was shattered, and he 
 nearly shared tbe same fiite himself 
 
 " He was sitting up very late one night, in tbe 
 little room allowed to him for tbe various tools, 
 and instruments, and appliances, and specimens, 
 and all that sort of thing, which were the apple 
 of his eye ; and by a special light of his own 
 devising be was working up the finisli of some 
 grand experiment, from which be expected great 
 wonders, no doubt. I don't know bow many 
 kinds of acid he bad got in little bottles, and 
 bow many — I don't know what their names 
 are, but something of a kail, like ' Ragged 
 Jack ; ' and bow many other itemies — as Tabby 
 Tapscott calls them — the Lord only knoweth, 
 who made them ; and perhaps the men have 
 got beyond even Him. At any rate, there be 
 was, all in bis glory ; and he would have given 
 ten years of his life, to be let alone for an hour 
 or two. But suddenly the door flew open, as if 
 with a strong kick ; and tbe shake, and the
 
 170 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 draught, set His flames and waters quivering. 
 He looked up with his mild eyes, and beheld a 
 Fury. 
 
 " ' What do you mean by this ? ' she cried. 
 *Here I come home from Lord Oglequince's, 
 where you left me to go by myself, as usual ; and 
 on my red Davenport I find this ! A fine piece 
 of extravagance ! Whose money is it ? ' 
 
 " ' Well, Monica, it was not meant to go to 
 you,' the Professor replied ; for he saw what it 
 was, a bill of about three pounds, for a cloak, 
 and a skirt, and a hat, or some such things, 
 which his daughter's school-mistress had written 
 for, because the poor girl was unfit to be seen 
 with the rest. ' My dear, I will pay it, of 
 course. You have nothing to do with it. It 
 was put on your desk by mistake altogether.' 
 
 " ' Oh, then you meant to do it on the sly ! 
 To spend on this little upstart of yours the 
 money that belongs to my poor children. Whose 
 house is this ? Whose chair are you sitting on 
 — for of course you never have the manners to 
 rise, when a lady comes to speak to you ? Do 
 you think you will ever make a penny, by all 
 your trumpery dibbles and dabbles ? I hate the 
 sight of them, and I will not allow them. Hand 
 me that cane, with the sponge at the end.'
 
 AND EXDS WITH A MOEAL. 171 
 
 "The Captain arose under her rebuke, and 
 looked at her with calm curiosity, as if she were 
 part of his experiment. He had never seen a 
 case of such groundless fury, and could scarcely 
 believe that it was real. Her blazing eyes were 
 fixed on his, and her figure seemed to tower, in 
 her towering rage. Such folly however could 
 not frighten him ; and he smiled, as if looking 
 at a baby, while he handed her the cane. 
 
 " ' You laugh at me, do you ? You think I 
 am your slave ? ' she cried as she swung the 
 cane round her head, and he fully expected the 
 benefit. ' Because I am a poor weak woman, I 
 am to be trampled on, in ray own house, and 
 come on my knees, at these shameful hours, to 
 hold all your gallipots and phials for you. 
 Look, this is the way I serve your grand science ! 
 There go a few of them, and there, and there ! 
 How do you like that, Professor ? — Oh, oh, 
 oh!' 
 
 " At the third sweep of the cane among his 
 chemical treasures, she had dashed on the floor, 
 among many other things, a small stoppered 
 bottle full of caustic liquid, and a fair dose had 
 fallen on her instep, which was protected by 
 nothing but a thin silk stocking. Screeching 
 with pain she danced round the room, and then
 
 172 KIT AND KITTY, 
 
 fell upon a chair, and began to tear her hair, in 
 a violent fit of hysterics. 
 
 " ' It is painful for the moment ; but there is 
 no serious harm,' said the Captain, as he rang 
 the bell for her own attendant ; ' fortunately 
 the contents of that bottle were diluted, or she 
 might never have walked again ; if indeed such 
 a style of progress is to be called walking. It 
 is most unwise of any tiro to interfere with 
 these little enquiries. I was very near a fine 
 result ; and now, I fear, it is all scattered.' 
 
 " The next day he did, what he should have 
 done some months ago. He took the copy of 
 his marriage-settlement to a good solicitor, and 
 found, to his sad astonishment, that the boasts of 
 the termagant were too true. Under the pro- 
 visions of that document — as atrocious a swindle 
 as was ever perpetrated — he could be turned out 
 of his own house, and the property he intended 
 for his own child was at the mercy of her step- 
 mother. 
 
 " From the lawyer he got not a crumb of 
 comfort. The settlement was his own act and 
 deed ; there w^as no escaping from it. It had 
 been prepared by the lady's solicitors ; and lie 
 had signed it without consideration. All very 
 true ; but he should have considered, and mar-
 
 AND ENDS WITH A MORAL. 173 
 
 riage was a consideration, in the eye of the law, 
 and a binding one. If the Professor wished, the 
 solicitor would take Counsel's opinion, whether 
 there might be any chance of obtaining redress 
 from Equity. But he felt sure, that to do so 
 would only be a waste of money. It was a 
 most irregular thing, that in such an arrange- 
 ment, one side only should be represented ; but 
 that was the fault of the other side, which 
 surrendered its own interests. In fact, it was 
 a very fine instance of confidence in human 
 nature ; and human nature had been grateful 
 enough to make the most of the confidence 
 offered. 
 
 " If you did not know what the Professor is, 
 you might suppose. Kit, that he was overcome, 
 and overwhelmed with the result of his own 
 neglect and softness. Not a bit of it ; in a 
 week's time, he had mended all his broken 
 apparatus ; and the only difference to be noticed 
 was, that he never began work without locking 
 the door. His treatment of his wife was the 
 same as ever. He bore no ill-will, or at any 
 rate showed none, on account of that stronir 
 explosion ; and he took thenceforth all her fits 
 of fury as gusts of wind, that had got in by 
 mistake. It is impossible for any woman to
 
 174 KIT AND KITTT. 
 
 make a man of that nature unhappy. He would 
 have been happier, I dare say, and have done 
 much more for the good of the world, if he had 
 married a peaceful woman ; but I know very 
 little of those matters. Only, as you have an 
 ordinary mind, be sure that you marry a sweet- 
 tempered woman. To bed, my boy, to bed ! 
 "VVe must be up right early."
 
 ( 175 ) 
 
 CHAPTER XY. 
 
 MORAL SUPPORT. 
 
 In spite of all snid to the contrary, I believe 
 that young people, upon the whole, are more 
 apt to ponder than the old folk are. At least, 
 if to ponder raeans — as it should — to weigli in 
 the balance of pros and cons the probable results 
 of their own doings. The old man remembers 
 the time he has lost, in thinking thoughts that 
 came to naught; and he sees that if they had 
 come to much, that much would have been very 
 little now. The young man has plenty of time 
 on his hands, and believes he is going to do 
 wonders with it, and makes a bright map of his 
 mighty course in life. And this is the wisest 
 thing that he can do. 
 
 But when he falls in love, alas ! his ripe 
 wisdom is seldom applied to himself Like a 
 roguish grocer, with a magnet in his counter, 
 he brings the scale down to his own liking ;
 
 176 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 but he differs from him, in that he cheats 
 himself. 
 
 Being very wise in my own eyes, I pondered 
 very carefully my next step ; not with any 
 thought of retiring, but with a firm resolve 
 to advance in the strono:est and most effective 
 manner. My Uncle's long story, instead of 
 damping, had added hot fuel to my ardour, and 
 compassion had lent a deeper tone to passion. 
 Tender pictures arose before me of my angelic 
 Kitty, starved, and tortured, and snubbed, and 
 trampled, and (worst of all perhaps to a female 
 body) shabbily, and grotesquely dressed. Suqh 
 a woman as my Uncle had described was 
 enough to drive the largest-minded man to 
 fury, and to grind the sweetest of her own sex, 
 into fragments of misery and despair. The 
 one crumb of comfort I could pick up, was that 
 such cruelty must make my darling pine all the 
 more for tender love, and long perpetually for 
 some refuge, however humble it might be. But 
 the point of all points was — how should I get 
 at her ? 
 
 All these things were passing through my 
 mind for about the thousandth time — yet all in 
 vain — as I came back from Chertsey, on old 
 Spanker s back, a day or two later in that same
 
 MORAL SUPPORT. 177 
 
 week. Old Spanker was as good a horse as 
 ever tasted corn ; and when we got together, we 
 always seemed to fall into very much the same 
 vein of thought. Not that Spanker had any 
 love-troubles, but plenty of other cares and 
 considerations, which brought him into tune 
 with me, as we jogged along. If anything 
 went amiss on our premises. Spanker seemed to 
 find it out, not one of us knew how, and to feel 
 a friendly sadness for us, though it never 
 affected his appetite. So warm was his interest 
 in our affairs, that whenever he took a load to 
 Covent Grarden, the proper thing always was 
 to let him know how it had been disposed of; 
 and Selsey Bill declared that he carae home 
 with his ears pricked forward, or laid back, 
 according as the prices had been up or down. 
 But Selsey Bill, with seventeen hungry children, 
 was himself as sympathetic as almost any horse. 
 It was very nigh dark ; for tlie days were 
 drawing in, being nearly carte to the equinox, 
 and the weather breaking up, as we had fore- 
 seen. Indeed but for that, I should not have 
 been here, for my Uncle would never have sent 
 me to Chertsey, if the fruit had been fit to 
 be gathered to-day. " Never gather any fruit 
 when it is wet^ except a horse-chestnut," he 
 
 VOL. 1. N
 
 178 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 used to say; "and you may find the flavour of 
 that improved." But the rain had not been so 
 very heavy, only just enough to hang on 
 things and make them sticky ; and now there 
 was a strong wind getting up, which was 
 likely to fetch down a hundred bushels. 
 
 The river was no longer in high flood, 
 though still over its banks, and turbulent ; and 
 I had not to ride through great stretches of 
 water, a& our roads require one to do, even if 
 they let him pass at all, when the Thames 
 comes down at its utmost. When I was a lad 
 in 1852, we could scarcely go anywhere without 
 swimming. And now, without floods, I very 
 nearly had to swim ; for old Spanker stopped 
 as suddenly as- if he had been shot, in a dark 
 place, where there was a ditch beside the road ; 
 and I, riding carelessly and mooning on my 
 grievances, was as loose on his back as my hat 
 on my head. I just saved myself from flying 
 over his ears, and then flourished lAy whip- 
 stock, for I thought it was a footpad. 
 
 " Don't be a fool, Kit. You have done a little 
 too much of that to me already." 
 
 The voice was well known to me, and the 
 glimmering light showed the figure of Sam 
 Henderson. He had a contemptuous manner of
 
 MORAL SUPPORT. 179 
 
 putting his heels on the earth, with his toes 
 turned up and out ; as if the world were not 
 worth riding, except with a reckless attitude. 
 But I was vexed to be pulled up like this, and 
 nearly cast out of the saddle. Therefore I said 
 something of his own sort. 
 
 " Youijg man, you don't value my good in- 
 tentions ; and you are not at all charmed with 
 my new dodge, for fetching a horse up before 
 he can think. You saw I never touched your 
 bridle. Well, never mind that. I'm not going 
 to teach you. How are things going on, at your 
 crib, my boy ? " 
 
 " Famously ; " I answered, for it was not 
 likely that I should discourse of my troubles to 
 him, " Nothing could be better, Mr. Hender- 
 son ; and since you have proved your new 
 dodge satisfactory, I will say ' Grood night,' 
 and beg you not to do it to me again." 
 
 " What a confounded muff you are ! " he con- 
 tinued with his slangy drawl, which he had 
 picked up perhaps at Tattersall's ; " do you 
 think that I would have come down this beastly 
 lane, on a dirty night like this, without I had 
 something important to say ? How about your 
 Kitty ? " 
 
 This was a little too familiar, and put me on
 
 180 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 ray dignity. At the same time it gave me a 
 thrill of pleasure, as a proof of the public con- 
 clusion upon a point of deep private interest. 
 
 " If you happen to mean, in your cheeky 
 style, a young lady known as Miss Fairthorn, 
 and the niece of Miss Coldpepper, of the Hall ; 
 I c;in only tell you that she is in London, with 
 her father, the celebrated Captain Fairthorn." 
 
 "A pinch for stale news — as we used to say 
 at school. Perhaps I could give you a fresher tip, 
 my boy ; but I dare say you don't care to hear it. 
 Perhaps you have put your money on another 
 filly. So have I ; and this time it is a ripper." 
 
 Little as I liked his low manner of describing 
 things too lofty for his comprehension, I could 
 not let him depart like this. He lit a cig;ir 
 under Spanker s nose, as if he had been nobody, 
 and whistling to his bull-terrier Bob, turned 
 away as if everything was settled. But I called 
 him back sternly, and he said, " Oh well, if you 
 want to hear more, you must turn into my 
 little den down here." 
 
 I followed him through a white gate which 
 he opened in the high paling that fenced his 
 paddocks, and presently we came to a long low 
 building, more like a shed than a dwelling- 
 house, but having a snug room or two at one
 
 MORAL SUPPORT. 181 
 
 end, " This is my doctor's shop," he said ; 
 " and it serves for a thousand other uses. No 
 patients at present — will be plenty by and by. 
 Come into ray snuggery, and have something 
 hot, I will send a fellow home with your old 
 screw, and tell the Grovernor not to expect you to 
 supper. Rump-steak and onions in ten minutes, 
 Tom, and a knife and fork for this gentleman ! 
 Now, Kit, put your trotters on the hob, but 
 have a pull first at this pewter," 
 
 This was heaping coals of fire on my head, 
 after all that I had done to him ; and I said 
 something clumsy to that effect. He treated it 
 as if it were hardly worth a word ; and much as 
 I love to be forgiven, I like to have done it to 
 others much better. 
 
 " I never think twice of a thing like that ; " 
 he replied, without turning to look at me. " A 
 fellow like you who never sees a bit of life gets 
 waxy over nothing, and makes a fool of himself. 
 You hit straight, and I deserved it. I live 
 among horses a deal too much to bear ill-will, 
 as the humans do. Let us have our corn, my 
 boy ; and then I will tell you what I heard in 
 Town to-day, and you can grind it between 
 your wisdom teeth," 
 
 In spite of all anxiety, I did well with the
 
 182 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 victuals set before me ; and Sam wns right hos- 
 pitable in every way, and made me laugh freely 
 at his short crisp stories, with a horse for the 
 hero, and a man for the rogue, or even a woman 
 in some cases. I endeavoured to match some 
 of them with tales of our own nags ; but those 
 he swept by disdainfully. No horse was worth 
 talking of below the rank of thoroughbred ; 
 as a story has no interest, until we come to the 
 Earls, and the Dukes, and the Marquises. 
 
 " Now," said Sam Henderson, when the plates 
 were gone, and glasses had succeeded them ; 
 "Kit Orcbardson, you are a very pleasant 
 fellow ; considering bow little you know of the 
 world, I never thought there was so mucli in 
 you. Why, if you could get over your shy- 
 ness, Kit, you would be fit for very good 
 society. But it is a mistake on the right side, 
 my boy. I would much rather see a young 
 chap like that, than one of your bumptious 
 clodhoppers. I suppose I am the only man in 
 Sunbury who ever goes into high sooiety. And 
 I take good care that it never spoils me. 
 There's not a Lord on the Turf that won't 
 shake hands with me, wben he thinks I can 
 put him up to anything. But you can't say I 
 am stuck up, can you now ? "
 
 MORAL SUPPdRT. 183 
 
 '* Certainly not," I declared with warmth, 
 for his hospitality was cordial ; " you keep to 
 your nature through the whole of it. It would 
 spoil most of us to have so much to do with 
 noblemen." 
 
 " You and I should see more of one another," 
 Sam answered, witli gratification beaming in 
 his very keen and lively eyes ; " and if ever you 
 would put a bit of Uncle Corny's tin upon any 
 tit at long odds, come to me. The finest tip 
 in England free, gratis, and for nothing. But 
 I called you in for a different sort of tip. When 
 I was at the Corner this afternoon, who should I 
 see but Sir Cumberleigh Hotchpot ? I dard 
 say you may have heard of him. No ? Yery 
 well, that proves just what I was saying. You 
 are as green as a grasshopper looking at a 
 cuckoo. ' Pot,' as we call him — and it fits him 
 well, for his figure is that, and his habits are 
 black — is one of the best-known men in Lon- 
 don, and one of the worst to have much to do 
 with. ' Holloa, Sam,' he says, ' glad to see you. 
 What'll you take for your old Sinner now?' 
 Sinner, you must know, is my old mare Cinna- 
 minta, the dam of more winners than any other 
 mare alive; and the old rogue knows well 
 enough that I would sooner sell my shadow,
 
 184 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 even if he had sixpence to put on it. He gives 
 himself out to be rolling in money, but all he 
 ever rolls in is the gutter. Well, sir, we got 
 on from one thing to another ; and by and by 
 I gave him just a little rub about a hatful of 
 money I had won of him at Chester, and never 
 seen the colour of. ' All right,' he says, ' down 
 upon the nail next week. Haven't you heard 
 what's np with me?' So I told him no, and 
 he falls to laughing, enough to shake the dye 
 out of his grizzly whiskers. ' Groing to buckle 
 to. By Gosh, I mean it,' says he ; ' and the 
 sweetest young filly as ever looked throrgh a 
 riband. Rejoices in the name of Kitty Fair- 
 thorn, just the very name for a winner of the 
 Oaks. Ha, ha, wish me joy, old chap. She 
 was down your way, I am told, last week. But 
 I had spotted her before that, Sam.' I was 
 thrown upon my haunches, as you may fancy. 
 Kit; but I did not let him see it; though to 
 think of old Crumbly Pot going in for such a 
 stunner — ' Rhino, no doubt,' I says; and he says, 
 ' By the bucketful ! Her dad is a buffer who can 
 sit down and coin it in batteries. And only this 
 kid to put it on ; the others belong to a different 
 stable. Think of coming for the honeymoon, 
 down to your place. They tell me you keep the
 
 MORAL SUPPORT. 185 
 
 big crib empty.' Well, I only shook my head 
 at that, for the old rogue never pays his rent ; 
 and I asked him when it was to be pulled off. 
 ' Pretty smart/ he said ; but the day not named, 
 and he must go first to Lincolnshire, to see 
 about his property there ; which I happen to 
 know is up the spout to its outside value, though 
 he always talks big on the strength of it. And 
 no doubt he has got over your grand Professor, 
 with his baronetcy and his flourishing estates. 
 That's about the tune of it, you may swear. 
 Kit. Well, how do you like my yarn, my 
 boy ? " 
 
 " Sam, it shall never come off ; " I cried, with 
 a stamp which made the glasses jingle, and the 
 stirrup-irons that hung on the wall rattle as if 
 a mad horse were between them, " I would 
 rather see that innocent young creature in her 
 coffin than married to such a low brute. Why, 
 even if she married you, Sam, although it wonld 
 be a terrible fall, she would have a man, and 
 an honest one comparatively to deal with. But 
 as to the Crumbly Pot, as you call him " 
 
 " Well, old fellow, you mean well," replied 
 Henderson with tranquillity ; " though your 
 compliments are rather left-handed. But you 
 may look upon me, Kit, as out of the running.
 
 186 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 I was taken with the girl, I won't deny it. But 
 she didn't take to me, and she took to yon. 
 And between you and me, I am as sure as eggs 
 that she hasn't got sixpence to bless herself. 
 That wouldn't suit my book ; and I am no 
 plunger." 
 
 " She wants no sixpence to bless herself. 
 She is blest without a halfpenny. And a bless- 
 ing she will be to any man who deserves her, 
 although there is none on the face of this 
 earth " 
 
 " Very well, very well — stow all that. A 
 woman's a dark horse, even to her own trainer. 
 But I've met with just as fine a bit of stuff, a 
 lovely young filly down at Ludred. She's 
 the only daughter of the old man there ; and if 
 ever I spotted a Derby nag, he has got the next 
 one in his string this moment. I have not 
 quite made up my mind yet ; but I think I 
 shall gt) in for her. At any rate I'm off witli 
 the Fairthorn lay. Why, there's a cuss of a 
 woman to deal with there, who'd frighten a 
 dromedary into fits, they say. I wonder if old 
 Pot knows about it. But Pot shan't have her, 
 if I can help it ; and you may trust me for 
 knowing a thing or two. Come, let's strike a 
 bargain, Kit, and stick to it like men. Will
 
 MORAL SUPPORT. 187 
 
 yon help me with the Liidred job, if I do all 
 I can for you in the Fairthorn affair ? Give 
 me your hand on it, and I am your man." 
 
 I told him that I did not see at all how I 
 could be of any service to him, in his scheme 
 on the young lady he was thinking of. But 
 he said that 1 could help him as much as I 
 liked ; for a relative of mine lived in that 
 village, an elderly lady, and highly respected, 
 as she occupied one of the best houses in the 
 place ; and more than that, it belonged to her. 
 It was some years now since I had seen her, 
 but she had been kind to me when I was at 
 school ; and Sam proposed that I should look 
 her up, and give a bright account of him, and 
 perhaps do more than that ; for the young lady 
 visited at her house, and valued her opinion 
 highly. I now perceived why Henderson had 
 become so friendly, and was able to trust him, 
 as he had a good motive. Moreover • I had 
 heard of his " lovely filly," and even seen her 
 when she was a child ; and I knew that her 
 father (the well-known Mr, Chalker) had made 
 a good fortune in the racing business, and 
 perhaps would be apt to look down upon Sam, 
 from the point of higher standing and better 
 breeding. Being interested now in all true
 
 188 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 love, I readily promised to do all I could, and 
 then begged For Sam's counsel in my own case. 
 
 " Take the bull by the horns ; " he said with 
 his usual briskness. " Never beat about the 
 bush ; that's my plan, Kit. Gro up, and see 
 the Governor, and say — '■ I love your daughter ; 
 I hear she is awfully sat upon at home, and 
 doesn't even get her corn regular. She has 
 taken a great liking to me ; I know that. And 
 although I am not a great gun, and am terribly 
 green, my Uncle Corny is a warm old chap ; 
 and I shall have all his land and money, when 
 he croaks. You see. Governor, you might do 
 worse. And as for old Pot, if you knew the 
 old scamp, you'd sooner kill your girl than let 
 him have her. Why, he can't even square his 
 bets ; and all his land in Lincolnshire is collared 
 by the Moseys. Hand her to me, and I'll make 
 her a good husband, and you shall come to our 
 place, and live jolly, when you can't stand your 
 devil of a wife no longer.' Kit, I'll write it 
 down for you, if you like. You say all that to 
 him, exactly as I said it ; and if you don't fetch 
 him, turn me out to grass in January." 
 
 I was much amused that Henderson should 
 call me " green," and yet be in earnest with 
 such absurdity as this ; which I recommended
 
 MORAL SUPPORT. 189 
 
 him (since he had S':ch faith in it) to learn by 
 heart, and then repeat, with the neeJful altera- 
 tions, to the gentleman whose daughter he was 
 anxious now to win. However, thouo^h indi<''- 
 nant and frightened sadly at the news about that 
 vile baronet, I was pleased on the whole with 
 Sam's behaviour, though not with his last words ; 
 which were these, as he left me at the top of 
 the village, and he uttered them with much 
 solemnity — " I say, who stole the dog ? Talk 
 of Angels, after that ! "
 
 190 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER XYI. 
 
 TRUE LOVE. 
 
 If any one had told me, so lately as last week, 
 that Sam and myself would be sworn allies 
 upon matters of the deepest interest, within 
 fifty years of such a prophecy, I should have 
 considered him as great a liar, as the greatest 
 statesmen of the present period prove them- 
 selves daily out of their own mouths. Although 
 I had not then the benefit of knowing, how the 
 most righteous of mankind deceive us, I knew 
 well enough that the world is full of rogues ; for 
 no man can visit Covent Garden twice, without 
 having that conviction forced upon him. And 
 Sam Henderson's quiet grins at my "greenness" 
 naturally led me to ponder just a little upon 
 the possibility of his trafficking upon it. How- 
 ever I am glad to say, and still hold to it, that 
 neither then, nor even in my later troubles, 
 which were infinitely deeper than any yet
 
 TRUE LOVE. 101 
 
 recounted, did I ever pass into the bitter shadow 
 throusrh which all men are beheld as liars. 
 
 The difficulty was to know what to do next. 
 If 1 did nothing, which was the easiest thing to 
 do — and a course to which my bash fulness and 
 iscnorance inclined me — the foulest of all foul 
 wrongs might triumph ; the sweetest and most 
 lovable of all the fair beings, who are sent 
 among the coarser lot to renew their faith in 
 goodness, might even by virtue of her own 
 excellence become a sacrifice to villany. I 
 knew that my darling had that strong sense of 
 justice, without which pure gentleness is as a 
 broken reed ; and I felt that she also had a keen 
 perception of the good and the bad, as they 
 appear in men. But, alas ! I knew also that she 
 loved her father before any one on earth, and 
 almost worshipped him ; whicli he deserved for 
 his character at large, but not so entirely for 
 his conduct to herself. He was always kind 
 and loving to her, when the state of things 
 permitted it ; but the bent of his nature was 
 towards peace ; and in the strange home, 
 which had swallowed him, there was no peace, 
 either by day or night, if he even dared to show 
 that he loved his own child. The blackest false- 
 hoods were told about her, and the lowest devices
 
 192 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 perpetually plied — as I discovered later on — to 
 estrange the father from the daughter, and rob 
 them of their faith in one another. But this 
 part of her story I mean to pass over, with as 
 light a step as possible ; for to dwell on such 
 matters stirs the lower part of natuie, and 
 angers us without the enlargement of good 
 wrath. We must try to forgive, when we 
 cannot forg;et, and endeavour not to hope — 
 whenever faith allows us — that the cruel and 
 inhuman may be basted with red pepper, for 
 more than a millennium of the time to come. 
 
 But as yet I had none of this clemency in me. 
 Youth has a stronger and far more militant 
 sense of justice, than middle age. I was fired 
 continually with indignation, and often clenched 
 my fists, and was eager to rush at a wall with 
 no door in it, when my Uncle's tale, and 
 Sara's confirmation, came into my head like a 
 whirlwind. " What a fool I am, what a helpless 
 idiot!" I kept on muttering to myself; "the 
 murder will be done, before I move." 
 
 I could see no pretext, no prospect whatever, 
 no possibility of interference; and my Uncle (to 
 whom I confided my misery) could only shake 
 his head, and say — " Yery bad job, my boy. 
 You must try to make the best of it."
 
 TRUE LOVE. 193 
 
 Probably it would have made the worst of me, 
 and left me to die an old bachelor, if it had not 
 been for a little chance, such as no one would 
 think much of. Time was drawing on, without 
 a sign of sunshine in it ; when to pick up a very 
 small crumb of comfort, and recall the happiest 
 day I had ever known yet, I went to my cup- 
 board, and pulled out a simple sketch in water 
 colours, which I had made of the stricken pear- 
 tree ; after some one had made of it the luckiest 
 tree that ever died. Slie had not finished her 
 work of art, pirtly through sweet talk with 
 me ; and I hoped to surprise her and compare 
 our portraits, when she should come to com- 
 plete her drawing. Now as I glanced, and 
 sighed, and gazed, and put in a little touch with 
 listless hands, my good genius stood behind me, 
 in the form of a little old woman, holding in one 
 hand a bucket, and in the other a scrubbing- 
 brush. 
 
 " Lor', how bootiful 'e have dooed 'un ! " 
 Tabby Tapscott cried, as if she would like to 
 have a turn at it with her reeking brush. " A 
 can zee every crinkle crankum of they leaveses, 
 ■ and a girt bumble-drum coom to sniff at 'un. 
 Her cudn't do 'un half so natteral as thiccy, if 
 her was to coom a dizen taimes, for kissy-kissy 
 
 VOL. I.
 
 104 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 talk like. Think I diclu't clap eyes upon 'e 
 both ? Good as a plai it wor, and the both of 
 'e vancying nobbody naigh ! Lor', I niver zee 
 nort more amoosin ! " 
 
 " Then all I can say is, you ought to have that 
 bucket of slops thrown over you. What busi- 
 ness of yours, you inquisitive old creature ? " 
 
 " That be vaine manners after arl as I dooed, 
 to vetch 'un here, for you to carr' on with ! 
 Ha, ha, ha, I cud tell 'e zumm_at now, if so be I 
 was mainded to. But I reckon 'e wud goo to 
 drow boocket auver Tabby ? " 
 
 This renewed my courtesy at once, for I had 
 great faith in Tabby's devices ; and after some 
 coying, and the touch of a crooked sixpence, she 
 told me her plan, which was simplicity itself, so 
 that I wondered at my own dulness. I was to 
 find out where Captain Fairthorn lived, which 
 could be done with the greatest ease ; and then 
 to call and make a point of seeing him, on the 
 plea of presenting him with a perfect copy, such 
 as his dauo-hter had no time to finish. Who 
 could tell that good luck might not afford me a 
 glimpse at, or even a few words with, the one 
 who was never absent from my mind ? And 
 supposing there were no such bliss as that, at 
 least I could get some tidings of her, and pos-
 
 TEUE LOVE. 195 
 
 sibly find a chance of doing sometliing more. 
 Be it as it. might, I could make things no worse ; 
 and anything was better than this horrible 
 suspense. I consulted my Uncle about this little 
 scheme, and he readily fell in with it ; for he 
 could not bear to see me going about my work 
 as if my heart were not in it, and searching the 
 papers in dread of bad news every morning. 
 And finding that I could be of use to him in 
 London, he proposed that I sliould go that very 
 night in the fruit-van, with Selsey Bill, and the 
 thief-boy — that is to say, the boy who kept 
 w^atch against thieves, of whom there are scores 
 in the market. 
 
 When I found my way, towards the middle 
 of the day, to that wild weald — as it then was 
 — of London, which is now a camp of Punch- 
 and-Judy boxes strung with balconies, it took 
 me some minutes to become convinced that I 
 was not in a hop-ground turned upside down. 
 Some mighty contractor was at work in a 
 breadth and depth of chaos ; and countless vol- 
 canoes of piled clay, which none but a demon 
 could have made to burn, were uttering hori- 
 zontal fumes, not at all like honest smoke in 
 texture, but tenfold worse to cope with. Some 
 thousands of brawny navvies, running on planks
 
 196 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 (at the head-pirate's order) with skeleton barrows 
 before them, had contrived (with the aid of 
 ten thousand tin pots) to keep their throats clear 
 and their insides going. Not one of them 
 would stop to tell me where I was ; all gave 
 a nod and went on harrowing ; perhaps they 
 were under conditions, such as occur to most 
 of us in the barrow-drive of life, when to pause 
 for a moment is to topple over. 
 
 After shouting in vain to these night-capped 
 fellows, I saw through the blue mist of drifting 
 poison, a young fellow, perhaps about twenty- 
 one, who seemed to be clerk of the works, or 
 something ; and I felt myself fit to patronise 
 him, being four or five years his elder, and at 
 least to that amount his bigger. But for his 
 better he would not have me, and snapped in 
 such a style that I seemed to belong almost to a 
 past generation. " Fairthorn ? " he said. " Yes, 
 I may have heard of him. Elderly gent — wears 
 goggles, and goes in for thunderbolts. Don't 
 hang out here, stops business. Three turns to 
 the left, and ask the old applewoman." 
 
 I was much inclined to increase his ac- 
 quaintance with apples, by giving liim one to 
 his eye — external, and not a treasure ; but 
 before 1 could even return his contempt, he
 
 TRUE LOVE. 197 
 
 was gone, and left me in the wilderness. At 
 last I found a boy who was looking after pots, 
 and for twopence he not only led me truly, but 
 enlightened me largely as to this part of the 
 world. He showed me where the " Grreat 
 Shebissun " was to be, and how all the roads 
 were to be laid out, and even shook his head 
 (now twelve years old) as to the solvency of 
 this "rum rig." He dismissed me kindly — 
 with his salary doubled — at the gate of the 
 great philosopher ; and with his finger to his 
 nose gave parting counsel. 
 
 " Best not go in, young man. The old 
 codger can blow you to bits, by turning a 
 handle, and the old cat '11 scratch your wig off. 
 But there's a stuunin' gal — ah, that's what 
 you're after ! I say, young covey, if you're 
 game for a bit of sweet'artin' on the sly, I'll 
 show yer the very nick for it." He pointed 
 to a gate between two old trees, and overhung 
 with ivy. " How does I know ? " he said, 
 anticipating briskly any doubt on my part ; 
 " s'help me taters, it's the only place round 
 here as T never took a pot of beer to." 
 
 Anxious as I was, I smiled a little at this 
 criterion of a trysting-place, and then did my 
 utmost to fix in mind the bearings of this
 
 198 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 strange neighbourhood. Although I knew 
 the busy parts of London well enough, of the 
 vast spread of outskirts I knew little, except 
 the ups and downs of the great roads through 
 them, and here and there a long look-out from 
 the top of Notting Hill, or any other little 
 eminence. Even so I had only lost my eyes 
 in a mighty maze of things to come, and felt 
 a deep wonder of pity for the builders, who 
 were running up houses they could never fill. 
 The part I was now exploring lay between 
 the two great western roads, and was therefore 
 to me an unknown land. But I felt pretty sure 
 that the house now before me had been quite 
 lately a mere country mansion, with grounds 
 not overlooked, and even meadows of its own, 
 where cows might find it needful to low to one 
 another, and a horse might go a long way to 
 find a gate to scratch against. 
 
 Even now there was a cattle-pond (the dregs 
 of better days) near the gate that led up from 
 the brickfields ; and half a dozen ancient Scotch 
 firs leaned in a whispering attitude towards 
 one another ; perhaps they alone were left of 
 a goodly group, trembling at every axe that 
 passed. Tlie house itself was long, low, and 
 red, and full of little windows, upon whose sills
 
 TRUE LOVE. 199 
 
 a straggling ilex leaned its elbows here and 
 there, and sparrows held a lively chivvy. 
 There was not a flower in the beds in front, 
 and the box-edging of the walks was as high 
 and broad as a wheel-barrow. Two large 
 cedars, one at either corner of the sodden grass- 
 plot, looked like mighty pencils placed to mark 
 the extent of the building. 
 
 Descrj'ing no one (except an ancient dog of 
 mighty stature, and of some race unknown to 
 me, who came up in a friendly manner) I 
 summoned all my courage, with good manners 
 at the back of it, and pulled a great bell-handle 
 hanging, like a butcher's steelyard, between two 
 mossy piers of stone. There was no sound of 
 any bell inside, and I was counting the time for 
 another pull, when the door was opened some 
 few inches, and sharp black eyes peered out at 
 me. 
 
 " Subscription Bible ? No, thank you, young 
 man. Cook was put into County-court last 
 time." 
 
 I did not know what she meant, until I saw- 
 that she was glancing at the poor portfolio, of 
 my own make, which held my unpretentious 
 drawing. " I am not come for any subscrip- 
 tion," I said, drawing back from the door, as
 
 200 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 slie seemed to suspect that I would try to push 
 it open. " I have tlie pleasure of knowing 
 Captain Fairthorn, and I wish to see him." 
 
 " Don't think you can," she answered 
 sharply ; " but if you will tell me what your 
 business is, I will ask the Mistress about it. 
 You may come, and wait here, while I go to 
 her. Scrape your boots first, and don't bring- 
 in any clay." 
 
 This did not sound very gracious ; but I 
 obeyed her orders with my best smile, and 
 producing two very fine pears, laid them on 
 the black marble chimney-piece of the hall. 
 Her sallow face almost relaxed to a smile. 
 
 " Young man from the country ? Well, take 
 a chair a minute, while I go and ask for orders 
 about you." With these words she hastened up 
 an old oak staircase, and left me at leisure to 
 look about. 
 
 The hall was a large but not lofty chamber, 
 panelled with some dark wood, and hung with 
 several grimy paintings. Two doors at either 
 end led from it, as well as the main staircase 
 in the middle, and a narrow stone passage at 
 one corner. The fireplace was large, but looked 
 as if it had more to do with frost than fire ; and 
 the day being chilly and very damp, with an
 
 TRUE LOVE. 201 
 
 east wind crawling along the ground, I began 
 to shiver, for my feet were wet from the wilder- 
 ness of clay I had waded through. But 
 presently the sound of loud voices caught my 
 ear, and filled me with hot interest. 
 
 One of the doors at the further end was not 
 quite closed, and the room beyond resounded 
 with some contention. " What a fool you are 
 to make such a fuss ! " one feminine voice was 
 exclaiming — " Oh, don't reason with her," cried 
 another, " the poor stupe isn't worth it. The 
 thinof is settled, and so what is the use of talk- 
 ing? How glad I shall be to see the last of her 
 wicked temper and perpetual sulks. And I am 
 sure you will be the same, Jerry. Nothing- 
 surprises me so much as Mamma's wonderful 
 patience with her. Why, she hasn't boxed her 
 ears since Saturday ! " 
 
 " It isn't only that," replied the first ; " but, 
 Frizzy, consider the indulgences she has had. 
 A candle to go to bed with, almost every night, 
 and a sardine, positively one of our sardines, for 
 her dinner, the day before yesterday. Why, 
 she'll want to be dining with us, the next thing ! 
 The more she is petted, the worse she gets. Now 
 don't you aspire to dine with us, you dear, you 
 darling, don't you now ? "
 
 202 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 " I am sure I never do," replied a gentle 
 voice, silv'ery even now, though quivering with 
 tears ; " I would rather have bread and water 
 by myself in peace, thaQ be scolded, and sneered 
 at, and grudged every mouthful. Oh, what have 
 I done to deserve it all ? " 
 
 " I told you what would come of reasoning 
 with her," said the one who had been called 
 " Frizzy " — probably Miss Euphrasia Bulwrag ; 
 " it simply makes her outrageous, Jerry. Ever 
 since she came back from Sunbury, there has 
 simply been no living with her. And she looks 
 upon us as her enemies, because we are resolved 
 that she shall do what is best for her. Lady 
 Hotchpot — what can sound better ? And then 
 she can eat and drink all day long, which seems 
 to be all she cares for." 
 
 " That's a little mistake of yours," answered 
 Miss Jerry, or Geraldine; " I know her tricks 
 even better than you do. She cares for some- 
 thing, or somebody, some clodhopper, or chaw- 
 bacon, down in that delightful village. Why, 
 you can't say ' Sunbury,' in the most innocent 
 manner, without her blushing furiously. But 
 she's so cunning — I can't get out of her who 
 the beloved chawbacon is. Come now, Kitty, 
 make a clean breast of it. I believe it's the
 
 TRUE LOVE. 203 
 
 fellow that bets down there, and lives by having 
 families of horses. Sir Cumberleigh told me all 
 about him, and had a rare laugh ; you should 
 have seen him laugh, when I said that our Kitty 
 was smitten. Well, I hoped she had a little 
 more principle than that. And you'd think 
 that butter wouldn't melt in her mouth ? " 
 
 " Butter never gets a chance " — I heard my 
 darling say, and knew by her voice that the 
 sweetest temper iti the world was roused at last 
 — " your mother never lets it go into my mouth ; 
 while you have it thicker than your bread 
 almost. But I'll thnnk you to enjoy among 
 yourselves, or with any old rake you may fawn 
 upon, your low and most ignorant gossip about 
 me. You had better not strike me. Your 
 mother may. But I will not take it from either 
 of you ; nor from both together." 
 
 I could scarcely contain myself, I assure you ; 
 and if the young tyrants had fallen upon her, 
 I must have got into a nice position — in the 
 old, but not in the new sense of " nice " — that of 
 bodily conflict with women. Luckily however 
 these were cowards, ns behoved such creatures ; 
 and I verily believe that my Angel (if driven — 
 as no Angel should be — into a free fight) would 
 have made a bad record of both of them.
 
 204 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 I was hovering, as it were, upon my legs, 
 burnino- to dash into the room, vet shudderino; 
 at the strange intrusion, when Miss Fairthorn 
 came out very quietly, and holding her hand- 
 kerchief to her streaming eyes. The door was 
 banged behind her, as if by a kick, and a loud 
 contemptuous laugh came through it. What 
 I did is a great deal more than I can tell ; for 
 I must have been carried far beyond myself, hy 
 pity, indignation, and ardent love. 
 
 " Oh, don't ! " said Kitty, as I stood before her, 
 almost before she could liave used her eyes, 
 being overcome with weeping ; but the glance 
 she gave me had told the thing that I cared for 
 most in earth or heaven. And the strangest 
 point was that we felt no surprise at being 
 too^ether in this wondrous wav. To me it 
 seemed right that she should fall into my arms ; 
 and to her it seemed natural that I should drop 
 from heaven. " Oh, don't ! " said Kitty, but 
 she let me do it. 
 
 I kissed away her tears, and T cannot tell you 
 whether they gave me more bliss or pain ; I 
 stroked her softly nestling hair, as if it all 
 belonged to me ; and I |)layed with her pretty 
 fingers, putting them one by one between my 
 great things, to make the thrilling process last.
 
 TRUE LOVE. 205 
 
 Then I loolved once more into her lovely eyes — 
 the wells of all my life-springs now — and lo, 
 their tears were flown ; and hope, and woman's 
 faith, and heaven's own love, were beaming 
 from their lustrous depth, as the light that 
 proves the jewel true ! 
 
 " Darling of my life," was all 1 said ; and she 
 only answered — 
 
 " Yes, dear."
 
 206 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER XYII. 
 
 TRUE FATHER. 
 
 Now anybody may suppose, who looks at things 
 too sensibly, that true love never yet has chosen 
 time and place more foolishly, for coming to 
 grand issue, and obtaining pledge for ever. 
 The sour-faced woman might have returned in 
 the crisis of our doings, or the two young 
 tyrants might have broken forth, and made 
 sport of us from the parlour. Whether we 
 knew these thing-s or not, we never gave a 
 thought to them ; all we thought of was one 
 another, and the rest might think what they 
 liked of us. This is not a large way to look at 
 things ; and yet once in a life, the largest. 
 
 My Kitty — as I called her now, and have 
 never since wanted any other name — was the 
 first (as behoved the more sensitive one) to 
 bring common sense to bear on us. 
 
 " You must come and see my father, dear,"
 
 TRUE FATHER. 207 
 
 she whispered with her hands in mine ; " I am 
 sure that he loves me all he can. And if you 
 have quite made up your mind that you cannot 
 do without me, we may trust him to make the 
 best of it ; for he always makes the best of 
 things." 
 
 " Show me where he is," I answered, scarcely 
 yet believing that my fortune was so glorious ; 
 while she looked at me as only one in the world 
 can ever look at us ; "I fear that he will be 
 sadly vexed ; but he is kind to every one." 
 
 " He will not be vexed on his own account, 
 nor yet on mine," she answered very quietly ; 
 " but nobody knows what he has to bear. Let 
 us go to him, while he is by himself. There is 
 some one coming ; we must be quick." 
 
 We hastened down the long stone passage, 
 just in time to escape the servant, who at last 
 had found her mistress ; and after passing several 
 doors, we came to one with an iron bar, and 
 iron rails, in front of it. 
 
 " See how he has to protect himself ! If 
 somebody knew that I have this key, it would 
 very soon be torn from me. I dare say you are 
 surprised ; such things are not done down at 
 Sunbury. How I love that quiet place ! " 
 
 " And you shall live there all your life," I
 
 208 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 answered as we passed the barrier ; " no one 
 shall dare to insult you there ; you shall be the 
 Queen, the Queen of all ; and you know who 
 will be your slave of slaves." 
 
 "That is all very fine talk," she said; "I 
 believe it is the usual style at first ; and 
 then we come to Bramah locks, and cold iion." 
 
 But her smile, as she put her hand on my 
 shoulder, proved that her own heart taught her 
 better. 
 
 " Let me go in first, and see what he is 
 doing. Oh, Kit, you hav^e taken advantage 
 enough. What right have you to say that it 
 is your last chance ? I am sure I hope not. 
 Oh, how mean of you to turn my own words 
 against me ! Now have a little reason. Yes, 
 yes, yes. For the fiftieth time at least, in five 
 minutes — I love you, and never will have any- 
 body else. Now let me go in first ; sometimes 
 he is too busy for even me to inteirupt him." 
 
 Much against my will, I let her go, for half 
 an hour later would have done as well accordino- 
 to my judgment ; and after securing the fence 
 behind us, which had wholly escaped my atten- 
 tion, she knocked at the door of the inner room, 
 and without being answered opened it. 
 
 Her father was sitting with his back to us,
 
 TKUE FATHER. 209 
 
 SO intent upon some small object that he did 
 not hear our footsteps. Some instrument made 
 of brass and glass, but quite unlike a micro- 
 scope, was ill his left hand, and with the other 
 he was slowly revolving something. The ap- 
 pearance of the room amazed me, with its vast 
 multitude of things unknown to me even by 
 name or shape, but all looking- full of polished 
 mischief and poisonous intelligence. 
 
 " This is why my Kitty weeps find is starved 
 and crushed by female dragons," I said to myself 
 in bitter mood ; and even the Professor's grand 
 calm head, and sweet scientific attitude, did not 
 arouse the reverence, which a stranger would 
 have felt for him. 
 
 His daughter touched, as lightly as a frond of 
 fern might touch it, one of his wavering silver 
 locks, and waited with a smile for him to turn. 
 But I saw that her bosom trembled, with a sigh 
 of deeper birth than smiles. Then he turned 
 and looked at her, and knew from the eyes, that 
 were so like his own, and yet so deeply different, 
 that she had something he must hear. 
 
 " You have been crying again, my child," he 
 said as he kissed her forehead ; " they promised 
 me you should be happy now," 
 
 " Yes, if I let them do what they like. 
 
 VOL. I. p
 
 210 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 Father, you have no idea what it is. I ara 
 never allowed to see you alone, except by 
 stealth, and at fearful risk. Father, come out of 
 philosophy and science, and attend to your own 
 child." 
 
 " But, my dear, I do. It is the very thing 
 that is in my mind continually. I spoke very 
 strongly not a week ago, and received a solemn 
 promise that you should have new clothes, and 
 diet the same as the rest, and everything I 
 could think of for your good." 
 
 " How many times have they promised it, 
 father ? And then I am beaten and put on 
 bread and water, for having dared to complain 
 to you. But all that is a trifle, a thing soon 
 over. I must expect that sort of thing, because 
 I have no mother. But, father, what they are 
 trying to do to me is ten times worse than 
 ragged clothes, or starvation, or bodily punish- 
 ment. They want me to marry a man I detest 
 — an old man, and a bad one ! " 
 
 " My dear, I have promised you, and you 
 know that you can rely on my promises, that 
 you shall not even be allowed to marry a man 
 of doubtful character. I have not been able, my 
 darling Kitty, to do everything I should have 
 liked for you ; but one thing is certain — if en-
 
 TRUE FATHER. 211 
 
 qiilrles prove that this gentleman — T forget his 
 name — is a man of bad life and unkind nature, 
 you shall have nothing to do with him. You 
 kuow how little I am able now to go into what 
 is called ' Society,' and most of my friends are 
 men of my own tastes. But I have taken par- 
 ticular trouble, at the loss of much important 
 time, to ascertain whether your opinion of this 
 person is correct. He is wealthy and of good 
 family, I am told, though that is merely a 
 secondary point. He is likely to have outlived 
 youthful follies ; and the difference of age is in 
 your favour." 
 
 " But not in his " — interrupted Kitty, with a 
 smile, for which 1 could have kissed her fifty 
 times, it was so natural, and simple, yet sagacious. 
 
 " You are flippant, my dear, in spite of all 
 your troubles ; " continued her father, smiling 
 also. " No length of discipline has entirely 
 tamed you. And now I will tell you why I am 
 so anxious that you should have a settled home, 
 and some one to take care of you, as soon as 
 can suitably be arranged. I am likely to leave 
 England, on a roving expedition, for how long 
 a time is as yet uncertain. It may be for a 
 twelvemonth, or even more, possibly for two 
 years ; and all that time, where will you be, my
 
 212 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 darling child ? I know that you are not happy 
 now ; though my object in making this second 
 arrangement was mainly to have you protected 
 and cared for. But things have not turned out 
 exactly as I had hoped ; and I fear that in my 
 absence they may grow still worse. When I 
 heard that this gentleman was strongly attached 
 to you, and wished you to become his wife this 
 winter, I hoped that I might be of some little 
 service to the cause of knowledge, without any 
 neglect of my duty to you. And I may tell 
 you, my child, that through a long course of 
 rather extravagant habits, which I have failed 
 to check, it is become of great importance to 
 me, so far as mere money goes — which is not 
 much — to accept the appointment which is offered 
 me. I am often deeply grieved at your con- 
 dition, and do my very utmost to improve it; 
 but am not always allowed ; as you know, my 
 dear, and are very sweet and patient with me 
 — I am not always allowed to have my own 
 way." 
 
 " Don't put it so. Papa. That is not half the 
 truth. Say that you never have been allowed, 
 never are, and never will be, to have so much 
 as a barleycorn of your own way." 
 
 " Young people put things in too strong a
 
 TRUE FATHER. 2.13 
 
 liii-bt;" the man of science answered gently. 
 " But we will not go into that question now. 
 Only you will see, my dear, from what t have 
 said, why I am so anxious that you should be 
 settled in a happy and peaceful home of your 
 own, far away from all those who worry you. 
 This gentleman offers you a wealthy home ; but 
 knowing your nature I do not insist on that. 
 Indeed I should be quite satisfied with a very 
 humble home for my darling, if it were a happy 
 one, 
 
 " Yery well, Papa, nothing could be nicer. 
 I can please you now exactly, and meet all your 
 wishes, though I cannot bear to hear of your 
 leavine: me so lono;. But you will not leave 
 me to the tender mercies " — here my Kitty 
 beckoned to me to come forward, which I had 
 long been most eager to do, but in obedience to 
 her signals, had remained by the door and 
 behind a tall case of some wheel within wheel- 
 Avork, almost as complex as human motives — • 
 ^' father, you see that you need not leave me to 
 the tender mercies of anybody, except this 
 gentleman, who saved my life at Sunbury, as 
 you know, and wishes to make it a part of his 
 own, for the rest of it." 
 
 Captain Fairthorn looked at rae with extreme
 
 214 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 surprise ; my idea of his character was that 
 nothing upon or below the earth could surprise 
 him. But he had his glasses on ; aud these 
 always seem to me to treble the marks of 
 astonishment in the eyes that stand behind 
 them. In deference to his large intellect, and 
 fame, and great (though inactive) nobility of 
 nature, I waited for him to begin, though I am 
 sure — now I come to think of it — that he would 
 have been glad for me to take the move. 
 
 " Kitty," he said at last, with some relief at 
 not having to fall upon me yet, " I should 
 like to know a little more of this story. I 
 remember this young man very well. But his 
 name has escaped me for the moment. He will 
 not think me rude. It is one of the many 
 penalties we pay for undue devotion to our own 
 little subjects. If he had been a zoophyte, or 
 a proboscidian, or even one of the consti- 
 tuents " 
 
 " If he had been a zoophyte, Papa, or any- 
 thing else with a very big name, and a very 
 little meaning," Miss Fairthorn exclaimed in 
 reproachful tones, " where should I be now ? 
 At the bottom of the Thames. And perhaps 
 you would enjoy dredging for me." 
 
 " In spite of all training, she has a temper ; "
 
 TRUE FATHER. 215 
 
 the father addressed this remark to me. " Also 
 she has a deep sense of gratitude — a feeling we 
 find the more largely developed, the further we 
 travel from the human order. But, my dear, 
 you allow yourself vague discursions. In a 
 matter like this you have brought befoi'e me, 
 my desire is always to be practical. That great 
 and original investigator, to whom we owe 
 not only knowledge, but what is even more 
 important, the only true course, by which to 
 
 arrive " 
 
 " My dear father, if you once begin on that — 
 the knowledge we want, and a quick course 
 to it, is whether you will be so good and so 
 kind, as to make us both happy by your 
 consent. This gentleman loves me ; and I love 
 him. He is not wealthy ; but he is good. You 
 may leave me in his care, without a doubt. I 
 have not known him long ; but I know him as 
 truly, as if we had been brought up together. 
 The only fault he has is tliat he cannot praise 
 himself. And his reverence for you is so strong 
 and deep, that it makes him more diffident than 
 ever. You are dreadfully diffident yourself, 
 Papa, you know you are ; and that makes me 
 so despise all boastful people. Now fully 
 understand that I won't have that horrible old
 
 216 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 Sir Cumbrous Hotchpot, and I will have this 
 Kit Orchardson ; that is to say, with your leave, 
 father. And you owe me something, I should 
 think, after all — but I have no right to speak 
 of that. Only, if you don't give it, mind, I'll — 
 
 I'll " As a sample of what she would do, 
 
 she began to sob deeply ; and I caught her in 
 my arms. 
 
 " You see, sir," I said — " oh, don't, my 
 darling ; your father is the kindest man in the 
 world, and he will never have the heart to make 
 you unhappy — you see, sir, how good she is, 
 and how simple, and ready to be satisfied even 
 with me. I am a poor man, and I have my 
 way to make ; but with her I could make it to — 
 
 to " I was going to say " heaven," but 
 
 substituted, " the top of the tree. And we 
 have a pretty place, where she would be happy 
 as the day is long. And if I don't protect her, 
 and cherish her, and worship her, and keep her 
 as the apple of my eye, I hope you will take 
 me by the neck. Captain Fairthorn, and put me 
 under this air-pump." 
 
 " How do you know that is an air-pump ? " 
 he asked, with admiration of my cleverness. 
 
 " By the look, sir," I replied ; " I have seen 
 them before."
 
 TRUE FATHER. 217 
 
 "Well then, it isn't; neither does it much 
 resemble one. Kitty, you see what his diffi- 
 dence is ; and another proof, I suppose, is, that 
 he has fallen in love with you ? " 
 
 " Yes," said my darling, with a smile so 
 humble, and loving, and confiding, that my 
 eyes grew moist, and her father could not see 
 her through his spectacles ; " it is a sure proof 
 of his diffidence ; for he deserves to have a 
 better wife than I shall ever be ; although I will 
 do my best to please him." 
 
 " Well, after that," replied Captain Fair- 
 thorn, " it seems to me, that ray opinion matters 
 very little. You appear to have made up your 
 minds ; and your minds appear to have been, 
 made for one another. I am wholly unable to 
 withstand such facts. Of course I shall make 
 my enquiries, Master Kit. But so far as I can 
 see at present, I will not deny you what you 
 have won. If she is half as good to her 
 husband as she always has been to her father, 
 you will be a happy man, God willing. There, 
 kiss me, my pretty dear, and don't cry any 
 more, till he m^kes you."
 
 218 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER XYIII. 
 
 FALSE MOTHER. 
 
 Such is the balance of human events — if the 
 phrase be held admissible — that the moment 
 any member of our race is likely to strike the 
 stars with his head sublime, he receives a hard 
 thump upon that jDrotuberance, and comes down 
 with a crown — but a cracked one. As for 
 myself — an unpretentious fellow, and of very 
 simple intellect, though not quite such a fool 
 as the world considered me in my later 
 troubles, — desiring always to tell the truth, I 
 will not deny that I walked on air, when I 
 found myself gifted with my Kitty's love, and 
 her large-hearted father's assent to it. It had 
 been arranged that I must wait, and keep my 
 bliss inside my waistcoat, until such time as 
 slower prudence and clearer foresight might 
 prescribe. But all I thought of were the 
 glorious facts that Kitty loved me as I loved
 
 FALSE MOTHER. 219 
 
 her, and that her father, who alone could enter 
 sound denial, would not deny. " What do I 
 care for that old Step-mother ? " I said to myself, 
 as I buttoned my coat. 
 
 That coat was henceforth sacred to me. 
 There may have been smarter and grander 
 coats, coats with more tone of high art about 
 them, and of sleeker and richer substance. But 
 this coat was enriched for ever with at least 
 three tears from Kitty's eyes, Kitty's lovely 
 hair had fallen like a vernal shower upon it, 
 and her true heart had quivered to it, when 
 she owned whose heart it was. I knew that 
 it might be my duty now to start a new coat 
 of loftier order, to keep me abreast of my rise 
 in the world, as the son of a celebrated man ; 
 nevertheless this would be the coat to look 
 back upon and look up to, as it hung upon a 
 holy peg, with the pockets full of lavender. 
 
 I had said farewell to my dear love, and was 
 just beginning to think how I would come it 
 over Uncle Corny, telling bim a bit, and then 
 another bit, and leading him on to laugh at 
 me, until I should come out with news which 
 would make him snap his favourite pipe — when 
 suddenly, near the Captain's gate, I felt a sharp 
 tug from behind. The dusk was gathering,
 
 220 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 and I meant to put my best foot foremost, and 
 walk all the way to Sunbury, scarcely feeling 
 the road beneath my feet. 
 
 "What do you want, little chap?" I asked, 
 for it was not in my power tlien to speak 
 rudely to any living creature, although I was 
 vexed at losing time. 
 
 " If you please, young man, my lady says 
 that you are to come back and speak to her. 
 You are to come with me to the door over 
 there. And you must be careful how you 
 scrape your boots." 
 
 I looked at the boy, and felt inclined to 
 laugh. He was dressed in green from head 
 to foot, and two or three dozen gilt buttons 
 shone in a double row down the front of him. 
 For a moment I doubted about obeying, until 
 it occurred to me that if I refused, my sin 
 might be visited upon another. So I turned 
 and followed the page, who seemed to think 
 disobedience, impossible. He led me to a door 
 at the west end of the house, and then up a 
 little staircase to a fine broad passage, with 
 statues and pictures looking very grand indeed. 
 Before I could take half of it into my mind, 
 he opened a door with carved work upon it, 
 and showed me into the grandest room I had
 
 FALSE MOTHER. 221 
 
 ever entered, except in show places, siicli as 
 Hampton Court, or Windsor Castle. All this 
 part of the house was so different from the 
 other end that I was amazed, when I came to 
 think of it. 
 
 But I could not think now of floors and 
 ceilings, or even chairs and tables, as I walked 
 with my best hat in my hand, towards a tall 
 lady very richly dressed, who stood by the 
 mantelpiece, almost like a figure carved upon 
 it. Her thick and strong hair seemed as black 
 as a coal, until one came to look into it ; and 
 then it showed an undercast of red, such as 
 I never saw in any other person. Her form 
 was large and robust and full, and as powerful 
 as that of any ordinary man ; but the chief 
 thing to notice was her face and eyes. Her 
 face was like those we see cut in shell, to 
 represent some ancient Groddess, such as I read 
 of at Hampton School — Juno, or Pallas, or it 
 may have been Proserpine, my memory is not 
 clear upon those little points — but although I 
 remember a Grod with two faces, and a dog 
 with three heads, I cannot call to mind any 
 Goddess among them endowed with three 
 chins. " My lady," as the boy in green had 
 called her, certainly did own three fine chins,
 
 222 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 as well as a moatli which was too large for the 
 shells, and contemptuous nostrils that seemed 
 to sift the air, and bright eyes with very thick 
 lids for their sheath — and they wanted a sheath, 
 I can tell you — and a forehead which looked as 
 if it could roll, instead of only wrinkling, 
 when the storm of passion swept it. 
 
 As yet I was too young to understand that 
 justice and kindness are the only qualities 
 entitling our poor fellow-mortals to respect. 
 I had passed through no tribulation yet, and 
 coped with none of the sorrows, which enlarge, 
 when they do not embitter, the heart. There- 
 fore I was much impressed by this lady's 
 grandeur and fine presence, and made her a 
 clumsy bow, as if I had scarcely a right to 
 exist before her. She saw it, and scorned me, 
 and took the wrong course, as we mostly do 
 when we despise another. 
 
 "Do I know your name, young man?" she 
 asked, as if it were very doubtful whether I 
 possessed any name at all. " I seem to have 
 heard of you, but cannot say where." 
 
 "In that case," I said, with my spirit re- 
 turning at the insolent disdain of her eyes and 
 voice, " the boy who came to fetch me has 
 made some mistake. No doubt you wished to
 
 FALSE MOTHKR. 223 
 
 see some other person. I beg you to make no 
 apologies." 
 
 With another low bow, I began ray retreat, 
 and was very near securing it ; for she became 
 too furious to condescend to speak. But two 
 young ladies, whom I had scarcely noticed, 
 jumped up from their chairs, and intercepted 
 me. 
 
 " Mamma forgets names so," said one of them, 
 a little plain thing with a mass of curly hair ; 
 " but you are Mr. Orchardson, I think, of 
 Sunbury. If so, it is you that Mamma wants 
 to speak to." 
 
 " I am not Mr. Orchardson of Sunbury, " I 
 answered ; " my Uncle Cornelius is the gentle- 
 man so known. I am Christopher Orchardson, 
 who only helps him in his business." 
 
 "Then, Christopher Orchardson," resumed 
 their mother, as I came back and looked at 
 her quietly, " you seem to have very little 
 knowledge of good manners. Allow me to 
 ask what you are doing in this house." 
 
 " I understood that I was sent for, Ma'am ; 
 and I am waiting to know what your pleasure 
 is." I saw the girls giggle, and glance at one 
 another, as I delivered this statement. 
 
 " None of your trifling with me, young man.
 
 224 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 What I insist upon knowing is tliis. What 
 right had you to enter my house, some hours 
 ago, without my knowledge, and to remain in 
 it, without my permission ? Don't fence with 
 the question, but answer it." 
 
 " That is easy enough," I replied with my 
 eyes full on hers, which vainly strove to look 
 down mine; "I came to this house, without 
 asking whose it was, to see Captain Fairthorn, 
 with a little sketch of something in which he 
 had taken interest. The servant, or house- 
 keeper, told me to wait, while she went to look 
 for her mistress. Then I met Miss Fairthorn, 
 whom I have had the pleasure of meeting 
 several times before; and she most kindly 
 showed me to her father's room. And I was 
 very glad to find him in good health. After 
 a very pleasant time with him, I was leaving 
 the garden on my way home, when I was told 
 that you wished to see me. I was not rude 
 enough to refuse, and that is why I am in this 
 house again." 
 
 " You have made a fine tale of it, but not 
 told the truth. Did you come to my house to 
 see the Professor ? Or did you come rather 
 to see his daughter ? " 
 
 "I came to this house to see Captain Fair-
 
 FALSE MOTHER. 225 
 
 thorn. But I hoped that I might perhaps have 
 the pleasure of seeing Miss Fairthorn also." 
 
 " And what was your motive in wishing to 
 see her? I have a right to ask, as she is in 
 my charge. I stand in the place of a mother 
 to her, whether she is grateful, or whether she is 
 otherwise. What did you wish to see her for?" 
 
 I was greatly at a loss to answer this. Not 
 from any shame at the affection, which was the 
 honour and glory of my being, but from dread 
 of the consequences to my precious darling. 
 She saw my hesitation, and burst forth. 
 
 " Do you think that I do not know all about 
 it ? You have had the gross insolence to lift 
 your eyes to a young lady far above you in. 
 every way. You fancy that because she has 
 no mother, and her father is a man of no 
 worldly wisdom, and of extravagant sentiments, 
 a kind of philosopher in short, you will be 
 permitted to reduce her to your inferior rank in 
 life. What are you ? — a small market-gardener, 
 or something of that kind, I believe." 
 
 "You were kind enough to say just now," 
 I answered, "that you did not know anything 
 about me. Even my name was strange to you. 
 I am not ashamed of my business ; and I lay 
 no traps for any one." 
 
 VOL. I. Q
 
 226 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 " Have you the insolence to refer to me ? " 
 Her guilty conscience caught her here, and 
 under its sting she grew so wild that I thought 
 she would have flown at me; though no thought 
 of her had been in my words. " But you are 
 below my contempt, and I wonder that I even 
 deign to speak to you. And I will make short 
 work of it. Go back to your spade, or your 
 heap of manure, or whatever it is you live in, 
 and never dare to think again of Miss Kitty 
 Fairthorn. She is engaged to a gentleman of 
 family, and title, and large property ; and I 
 mean to have her married to him very shortly. 
 Go back to your manure-heap ; I have done 
 with you." 
 
 " Not quite so easily as you think." To her 
 great amazement I approached her, not only 
 without terror, but with calm contempt. " You 
 have a foul scheme in hand, as is widely known, 
 for selHng a poor girl, whom you have vilely 
 misused, and starved for some years, and made 
 her life a misery ; and you think you will be 
 allowed to sell her to a reprobate old man, who 
 has not even gold enough to cover the black- 
 ness of his character. As a girl she has borne 
 your blows ; as a woman she would have to 
 bear those of a cowardly and godless scoundrel.
 
 FALSE MOTHER. 227 
 
 You like plain speaking, and there it is for you. 
 Do you think that God will allow such crimes ? 
 I tell you, poor tyrant, that the right will 
 conquer. Miss Fairthorn shall have a happy 
 home, with the affection and kindness, of which 
 you have robbed her ; and you — you shall 
 suffer the misery you have inflicted." 
 
 Now I had not meant to say a single word 
 of this, and was thoroughly astonished at my 
 own strong language. Bitterly angry with 
 myself as well, for what I felt to be unmanly 
 conduct (even under fiercest provocation), when 
 I saw the effect upon this haughty lady. It 
 must have been many years now, since any one 
 had dared to show her thus what she was like ; 
 for her strong will had swept bhick and white 
 into one — the one she chose to make of them. 
 Weak indolence, and cowardice, a thousandfold 
 more common than the resolute will, had got 
 out of her way, until her way turned to a 
 resistless rush. 
 
 She looked at me now, as if utterly unable to 
 believe that her ears could be true to her. Then 
 glancing at one of her daughters, she said, 
 " Geraldine, this young man does not mean it. 
 He has no idea what he is talking about. Take 
 him away, my dear; I feel unwell. I shall be
 
 228 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 able to think of things, by and by. Euphrasia, 
 run for the sal volatile, or the Cognac in the 
 square decanter. And then he may come back, 
 and tell me what he means." 
 
 This strange turn of mind puzzled me, as 
 much as my straightforward speech had puzzled 
 her. Dr. Sippets — our great man at Sunbury — 
 said, when I spoke of it many years afterwards, 
 that he quite understood, and could easily ex- 
 plain it. To wit, that with people of choleric 
 habit, the vessels of the brain become so charged 
 up. to a certain tension, that if anything more 
 — but I had better not try to put his hundred- 
 tun words into my pint pot. He is a choleric 
 man himself; and his vessels might become so 
 charged as to vent themselves in a heavy charge 
 to me. It is enough to say, that when the lady 
 sank, with a face as white as death, upon the 
 sofa, proper feeling told me to depart. 
 
 This I was doing, in a sad haze of mind ; 
 doubting whether duty did not require that 
 I should halt on the premises, until I had 
 learned how the sufferer passed through her 
 trial. But now another strange thing hap- 
 pened to me, and perhaps the very last I 
 should have dreamed of I was lingering 
 uneasily near the door, with many pricks of
 
 FALSE MOTHER. 229 
 
 self-reproach and even shame, when a slim 
 figure glided out and came to me. Although 
 the night had quite fallen now, I could see that 
 it was not my Kitty who came out, but some 
 one much shorter, and smaller altogether. 
 With great anxiety I went to meet her, fearing 
 almost to hear fatal tidings ; for who can tell 
 in such a case what may be the end of it ? 
 
 "You need not be alarmed, Mr. Orchardson," 
 said a voice which I recognised as that of Miss 
 Jerry; " my mother is all right again, and quite 
 ready to have another turn at you, if you are 
 anxious to come back." 
 
 " The Lord forbid ! " I replied devoutly. " I 
 would run into the hottest of the brick-kilns 
 yonder, rather than meet the good lady again. 
 But I am delighted that it is no worse. It was 
 very kind of you to come and tell me. My 
 best thanks to you, Miss Geraldine." 
 
 " It was not that at all," she said with some 
 hesitation ; " I did not come to set your mind 
 at ease, though I thought that possibly you 
 might be waiting here ; which is very good 
 of you. But I came to say how grateful I am 
 for your behaviour. You have done a lot of 
 good ; I cannot tell you half of it. Nobody 
 ever dares to contradict Mamma ; that is what
 
 230 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 makes lier so much what she is. She is very 
 kind and pleasant at the bottom, I am sure. 
 But she has such a very strong will of her 
 own ; as a clever man said, when he tried to 
 comfort my dear father many years ago, such 
 a ' very powerful identity,' that every one has 
 always given way before her, until she — until 
 she thinks all the world is bound to do it. You 
 spoke very harshly to her, I know. Perhaps 
 a real gentleman would not have done it ; and 
 for the moment I hated you. But she is so 
 delightful to us ever since ! We shall have 
 a sweet time of it, for at least a week. But 
 won't Miss Kitty catch it ? " 
 
 Those last words gave me a bitter pang. 
 This odd girl, who seemed to have some good 
 in her, spoke them, as I thought, with exulta- 
 tion, or at any rate without any sign of sorrow. 
 Her justice, like her mother's, stopped at home. 
 
 " If I have done you any good," I said, with 
 faint hopes of getting some little .myself, "do 
 promise me one thing ; I am sure you will. 
 Try to be kind to Miss Fairthorn, and lighten 
 some little of the burden she has to bear." 
 
 " Oh, you don't know her," she answered 
 with a laugh. " You think she is wonderful, 
 I dare say. I can teJl you Miss Kitty has a
 
 FALSE MOTHER. 231 
 
 temper of her own. She is awfully provokiug, 
 and she won't be pitied. I believe she hates 
 Frizzy and me, just because we are our mother's 
 daughters. If you ever marry her, you had 
 better look out. However, I will bear with 
 her, as far as human nature can. And now 
 I will say ' Good night.' " 
 
 She gave me her hand, which I did not 
 expect ; and I saw that she was rather a pretty 
 girl, which I had not noticed in the room. She 
 had fine dark eyes, and her voice was much 
 softer than that of her sister; and it seemed 
 to me that she might come to good, if she got 
 among good people, and away from her terrible 
 mother.
 
 232 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 DOE DEM. ROE. 
 
 When I gave Uncle Corny, as I was bound to 
 do, a full account of that day's work, he was 
 mightily pleased, and clapped me oq the back 
 for having spoken so plainly to that haughty 
 woman. 
 
 " But now you must make up your mind," 
 he said, " to have the door slammed in your 
 face, if ever you attempt to get a glimpse 
 of your sweetheart there. Poor thing, what 
 a time of it she will have ! What puts my 
 back up is to think that her own father lets her 
 be knocked about like that. She never tells 
 him, you think, because it would only get him 
 into trouble, and do her no good. Well, she is 
 a noble girl, if that is the case. But he must 
 know how she is treated, as I told you, in fifty 
 other ways, — badly dressed, half starved, or at 
 any rate fed on rice and suet-pudding, and
 
 DOE DEM. EOE. 233 
 
 kept in the schoolroom away from the others. 
 How was she dressed now ? What clothes had 
 she on ? " 
 
 I answered that I really did not know ; and 
 this was the truth, though I blamed myself 
 for it. When first she began to be so much 
 to me, I had noticed how neat an i becoming 
 her cloak was, and her hat, and a little tender 
 muff, which held a still tenderer pair of hands. 
 But now that she was all the world to me, and 
 more, I seemed to have no sense of her apparel, 
 but to be filled with herself alone, as if her 
 existence came into mine. I did not tell him 
 that, because he would have cried " Stuff! " 
 
 But he understood my meaning, so far as to 
 tell me of a case he had known some years ago. 
 A friend of his had married a lovely girl, who 
 had not a penny to bless herself with, and he 
 was most deeply attached to her. But althougli 
 he was very well off for money, and not at all 
 of a stingy turn, for a long time it never came 
 into his head that his wife had only two gowns, 
 two bonnets, and one cloak. She was too 
 proud to ask him for money ; and instead of 
 doing that went on and on, wearing out all her 
 poor things, until they were scarcely fit to be 
 looked at. And many bitter tears she shed,
 
 234 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 as she darned, and patched, and let pieces in, 
 convinced more and more, as the light shone 
 through, that her husband must hate her to 
 keep her like that. And perhaps it would 
 have ended in the ruin of them both, for some 
 villain was making love to her, when luckily 
 a sister of his came to see them, and scolded 
 him roundly for his blind neglect. "Why, 
 bless her heart ! " he cried, opening his eyes ; 
 " I never see Mary's clothes — I see Mary." 
 
 " Now mind you are not such a jackanapes 
 as that ; " my Uncle drew the moral, as he 
 rubbed his hands, for he loved to have his 
 stories laughed at ; " when you have got your 
 Kitty, and I don't see why you should not, 
 be sure that you praise her dresses and bonnets ; 
 not quite so much perhaps as you praise her- 
 self, but still every time you can think of it. 
 Women like that sort of thing somehow. I 
 can hardly tell you why; for if any man praised 
 my coat or my hat, I should be vexed with 
 him, unless it was to say that I had got them 
 dirt-cheap. But perhaps the reason is, that a 
 woman's clothes are a part of her mind and 
 her body too, a sort of another self to her." 
 
 " How on earth do you know such a lot 
 about women ? " I asked, though I thought that
 
 DOE DEM. ROE. 235 
 
 he did not know much. " One would think 
 you had been married for forty years ! What 
 woman can have taught you all these things ? " 
 
 " Mind your own business ; " my Uncle an- 
 swered sharply. " You will have quite enough 
 to do with that, as things appear at present. 
 You have made play with this pretty girl, and 
 you have booked your place with her father. 
 Also you have got over me, who meant to have 
 nothing to do with it. And you have given 
 that hateful woman a Roland for her Oliver. 
 But I will go bail that you have no idea whose 
 shoulders will bear the brunt of it. Who 
 should you say was the trump-card now ? " 
 
 " The learned Professor," I replied ; " the 
 man who could kill that woman with a wire, 
 if he were not so magnanimous. The man who 
 knows everything in this world, except how to 
 manage his own household. He will stand up 
 for me, and I shall win." 
 
 " So you shall, my boy ; you are quite right 
 there. But it won't be done through him, I 
 can tell you ; or you would have a precious time 
 to wait. It shall be done through a small 
 market-gardener — as she had the cheek to call 
 me — and she may grind her teeth, and slap 
 her husband. Very few people know what
 
 236 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 I am ; because I don't care wliat they think of 
 me. But I see the proper thing to do, and I 
 mean to begin to-morrow. Now go to bed, and 
 dream as you do all day. You'll be no good 
 to me, till you've had too much of Kitty." 
 
 Being weary in body and in mind, I slept 
 until Tabby called out that the breakfast was 
 ready. For this I expected to be well up- 
 braided, as my Uncle was always afoot with 
 the sun ; but to my surprise he was not come 
 home, and I kept his rasher hot for him. At 
 last he came in, and sat down without a word 
 beyond his short " Good morning, Kit ! " His 
 appetite was fine, and his face most cheerful ; 
 though his gray curls appeared a little grimy, 
 and his coat had a smell more peculiar than 
 pleasant. 
 
 " Shall have to go under the pump again," 
 he said, as he pushed away his plate ; " but it 
 won't matter now till dinner-time. That twitch 
 does make such a sticky smoke, with the sow- 
 thistles whelmed down over it. But the wind 
 was the right way, and took it very level. 
 Bless my soul, how he did cough, and how he 
 ran from one room to another ! 'Twas enough 
 to kill American blight a'most, let alone what 
 they call a ' human.' But it's high time to
 
 DOE DEM. ROE. 237 
 
 rouse tliem np again, my lad ; bring one of 
 them runner-sticks, and lend a hand. If he 
 don't bolt by dinner-time, we'll try a little 
 sulphur. I would have done it sooner, if it 
 had riot been for the Dutch Honeysuckle, and 
 blue creeper." 
 
 Wondering what this device could be, I took 
 a kidney-bean stick and followed him. He 
 marched at a great pace, with a pitchfork on 
 his shoulder, down a long alley of pears and 
 apples ; on which, though the leaves hung very 
 late from the wetness of the season, the chill 
 air of some frosty mornings had breathed 
 divers colours. Then we came into an open 
 break, which I had helped to plant with pota- 
 toes in the spring, and here were a score of 
 bonfires burning, or rather smoking furiously. 
 Beyond them was " Honeysuckle Cottage," 
 belonging to my Uncle, and standing at the 
 north end of his grounds, against a lane which 
 led to Hanworth. 
 
 This cottage had five windows facing us, and 
 receiving the volleys of foul gray smoke, as a 
 smart south-west wind drove it; and the fires 
 being piled with diseased potato-haulm, of 
 which there was abundance in that bad year, 
 as well as bottomed with twitch-grass, beth-
 
 238 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 wine, cat's-tail, and fifty other kinds of weed, 
 and still more noxious refuse, the reek was 
 more than any nose could stand, when even 
 a mild puff strayed towards us. But the main 
 and solid mass was rushing, in a flood of 
 emhodied stench, straight into the windows 
 of that peaceful cot, penetrating sash and frame 
 and lining. Once or twice as the cloud wisped 
 before the wind, we seemed to catch a brief 
 glimpse of some agitated mortal, holding up 
 his hands in supplication, or wringing them, 
 and applying them in anguish to his nose. 
 
 " Pile on some more. Bill, and stir them up 
 again," shouted Uncle Corny, with his pitch- 
 fork swinging in the thick of it. "Agricultural 
 operations must not be suspended to suit the 
 caprice of individuals, — as the County-court 
 judge said, when Noakes tried to stop me from 
 carting manure near his parlour-window. If 
 old Harker won't hearken, we'll make him sniff, 
 eh ? See the joke, Selsey Bill ? " 
 
 Selsey Bill saw it, after deep reflection, and 
 shook his long sides with a longer guffaw. "If 
 a' don't sniff at this, a' must have quare nos- 
 trils" — he was wheezing himself, as he clapped 
 on another great dollop of rottenness, and 
 stirred it ; "I could never have bided it two
 
 DOE DEM. KOE. 239 
 
 minutes ; though the Lord hathn't made me 
 too partiklar. Sure us'll vetch 'un out this 
 time, Maister. Here a' coom'th, here a' coom'th. 
 Lookey see ! " 
 
 Following his point we descried a little man, 
 timidly opening the cottage door, and apparently 
 testing the smells outside, to compare them with 
 tliose he was quitting. He glanced at the bon- 
 fires, and shook his fist wildly ; then threw his 
 skirt over his head, and made off, as if he had 
 smelled quite enough of this world. 
 
 " Run and get the key, Bill," my Uncle cried, 
 as soon as he could speak for laughing; "lock 
 the door, and bring the key to me. We'll 
 send for the fire-engine by-and-by, and wash 
 down the front, and then put your wife in, and 
 scrub the whole place out. Beat abroad the 
 fires, men, and throw some earth upon them. 
 That's what I call sometliing like an ejectment. 
 The old rogue has paid no rent since Lady Day ; 
 though he had it dirt cheap at three and six a 
 week, and me to pay the rates and taxes. Come, 
 you shall have a pint of beer all round. 1 am 
 sure you want something to take the taste out." 
 As we went home, to have a good wash, and 
 change our coats, I learned all the meaning of 
 this strong measure, and felt no more pity for
 
 240 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 the tenant evicted. He had occupied this 
 cottage for some seven years now, and although 
 he lived so close to us and on our land, scarcely 
 any one had exchanged ten words with him. 
 He was of a morose and silent nature, living all 
 alone, though he had some money, and never 
 going out of doors when he could help it. His 
 name was Ben Barker, and throughout the 
 village his nickname was " Old Arkerate ; " for 
 when anything was said to him that he could 
 pick a hole in, if it were only a remark about 
 the weather, he would always say — " No. 
 That isn't arkerate." It was said that he had 
 lost a considerable fortune, before he came to 
 Sunbury, by some inaccuracy in a will, or 
 title-deeds, and thence he had taken to challenge 
 the correctness of even the most trivial state- 
 ment. My Uncle had been longing for months 
 to recover possession of his own premises ; but 
 old Harker took advantage of the obstacles 
 richly provided by pjnglish law in such a case, 
 and swore he would never go out without a 
 law-suit. But he had never spent a halfpenny 
 on repairs, though he had it so cheap through 
 his promises ; and by his own default he was 
 thus smoked out, and the key was in the 
 landlord's pocket.
 
 DOE DEM. ROE. 241 
 
 Mrs. Selsey Bill, mother of seventeen living 
 children, was very fat and stumpy — as behoves 
 a giant's wife — and was blest with a cold in her 
 head just now, which redeemed all her system 
 from prejudice. The greatest philosophers 
 assure us that all things — if there be anything 
 — are good or bad, simply as we colour them 
 in our own minds — that is to say, if we have 
 minds — and to Mrs. Bill Tompkins the stench 
 of that house was as sweet as the perfumes of 
 Araby. She flung up the windows, from the 
 force of habit, and not from " aesthetic prefer- 
 ence," and she scrubbed away with soda, and 
 fuller's earth, and soft soap, and bristle, and 
 cocoa-fibre. And the next day, as soon as we 
 had finished dinner (which we never left for 
 nightfall, as if it were a burglary), my Uncle 
 said, " Let us go and see how that place looks, 
 after Old Arkerate has had to cut and run." 
 
 When we got there, fat little Mrs. Tompkins 
 was scrubbing almost as hard as ever. It is 
 quite wrong to talk as if fat people cannot 
 work. Many of them can, and can even carry 
 on, by drawing on their own resources, when a 
 lean person having hollow places down her 
 begins to pant, and has no stuif to fill them out. 
 She drew her breath a little, as she got up from 
 
 VOL. I. R
 
 242 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 the bucket ; but neither of her hands went to 
 her waist, because there was no such place to 
 go to. She had three of the young ones 
 strapped down on the floor of the room she 
 had not yet grappled with ; for her husband 
 was of an ingenious mind, and necessity had 
 taught him invention. Mrs. Selsey Bill stood 
 up and faced us ; she thought that we were 
 come to say she had not done enough. 
 
 " Honourable gents," she began with the 
 lead, as women love to do, " it don't look much ; 
 and you might think you got the worst of one 
 and ninepence for a day, with the days going 
 on for dusk at five o'clock. But when you has 
 to find your own soap and flannels " 
 
 " I think you have done wonders, Mrs. Tomp- 
 kins ; " my Uncle made answer with his pleasant 
 smile. " If I only got the best of every bargain 
 like this, I need never be out of elbows, Ma'am. 
 Why, the stairs are as white as a scraped horse- 
 radish. May we go up, and see the view from 
 the best bedroom ? Not if it will upset any of 
 your clever doings. You are the mistress now ; 
 and we take your orders." 
 
 With a laugh, which challenged our criticism 
 (for no man, except a sailor, knows the rudiments 
 of scrubbing), she loosed for us a cord which
 
 DOE DEM. ROE. 243 
 
 she had tied across, lest any Selsey baby might 
 break bonds, and crawl upstairs ; and presently 
 we stood in a pretty little bedroom, with an 
 ample but rickety window, facing southwards. 
 The room was not too lofty, and I might have 
 knocked my hat against the ceiling, if I had 
 not doffed it. But Uncle Corny, being not so 
 tall though wider, had plenty of head-room, and 
 asked what man could want more. And when 
 I looked out of the window, I agreed that a man 
 deserved less, who could not be pleased with this. 
 For Honeysuckle Cottage stood at the very 
 highest corner of all his pleasant fruit-grounds ; 
 and I was much surprised, having never been 
 inside this house before, at the rich view of 
 gardening ever varied, and of fair land and 
 water beyond the fruit-alleys, which shone in 
 the soft spread of sunshine far away. Over 
 the heads of countless trees, and betwixt their 
 coats of many colours, matched by the motherly 
 hands of autumn, the broad reaches of the 
 flooded Thames, with many a bend of sheen and 
 shadow, led the eye to dwell with pleasure, and 
 the heart with wonder. And across the wide 
 water, sloping meadows, streaked and rounded 
 with hedge and breastland, spread a green 
 footing for the dark and distant hills.
 
 244 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 " Let me see, to-day is Friday — an unlucky 
 day, Kit, for you to come first to the house. 
 If I had thought of that, we might have waited 
 for to-morrow. But it can't be helped now ; 
 and I am not superstitious. On Monday I'll 
 have Joe and Jimmy Andrews in, and put all 
 these window-frames and doors to rights. Then 
 we'll have Tilbury from Hampton, to see to the 
 papering and painting, and all that. By the 
 end of the week, we'll have it snug and tidy. 
 I have sent all old Harker's traps after him 
 to-day. They tell me he has taken that tumble- 
 down barn of Osborne's, over by Halliford. I 
 suppose I may whistle for my back-rents. I 
 ought to have distrained upon his sticks ; but 
 I laughed so, when I saw how he bolted, that 
 I could not do it. But you'll have to pay an 
 improved rent, my lad. You can't have it 
 under five shillings a week, and cheap enough 
 at that, I can tell you." 
 
 " Why, what do you mean ? " I asked. " I 
 don't want a house ; and if I did, how am I 
 to keep it up ? I haven't got a sixpence to call 
 my own." 
 
 " Then a pretty fellow you are, to make up 
 to Captain Fairthorn's daughter ! Where did 
 you intend to put her, I should like to know ?
 
 DOE DEM. ROE. 245 
 
 But we'll make that all right, between you and 
 me and the bedpost. I have got a little nest- 
 egg of your mother's money for you, and a 
 heel-tap of your father's. Didn't you know 
 why I smoked that old rogue out ? Why, that 
 this might be a little home for Kit and Kitty."
 
 246 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 AUNT PARSLOW. 
 
 It is a bad thing for any man to be always 
 beating bis own bounds, and treading tbe track 
 of his own grounds, and pursuing the twist of 
 liis own affairs — though they be even love- 
 affairs — as a dog spins round to catch his own 
 tail. Under the hammer of incessant thought, 
 and in the hot pincers of perpetual yearning, 
 I was getting as flat as a horseshoe twice 
 removed, when Sam Henderson gave a boy 
 twopence to slip into our grounds, when my 
 Uncle's back was turned, and put into my hand 
 an envelope addressed to " Samuel Henderson, 
 Esquire, The Paddocks, Halliford, Middlesex." 
 At first I thought, in my slow way, that his 
 object was to let me see what deference he had 
 won in racing circles ; and I smiled at the little- 
 ness of the man. But tlie boy, who was shaking 
 in his ventilated shoes, with dread of Uncle
 
 AUNT PAESLOW. 247 
 
 Corny, said — " 'Tain't that side ; turn 'un over." 
 I obeyed his instructions, and beheld in pencil 
 — " Come down the lane a bit. I have news 
 for jon, important." 
 
 What mortal, dwelling wholly on his own 
 affairs, would not have concluded that this con- 
 cerned him, on his own account, and unsel- 
 fishly ? I hurried on my coat, which had been 
 thrown off for a job of winter pruning, and in 
 less than two minutes I had turned the corner 
 and was face to face with the mighty Sam. 
 
 " All right, old fellow," he said as coolly as 
 if I had come to recover a loan. " You needn't 
 turn a hair. It is not about your Kitty, but my 
 skittish little Sally — ^ Sally Chalker. You know 
 I told you all about her, the daughter of the 
 old bloke down at Ludred." 
 
 " Oh, I remember now," I answered, with 
 a sudden chill of disappointment. " I might 
 have known that it was not for me you were in 
 such a precious hurry. You were very wise 
 not to come into our place. My Uncle is a man 
 of short measures." 
 
 " A man of uncommonly short measures. He 
 will get fined some fine day, I'm afraid." Sam 
 laughed wonderfully at his own wit. " But I 
 know he don't want me to see his little tricks.
 
 248 KIT AND KITTY, 
 
 Don't bluster, beloved Kit ; we all do it, and 
 we respect one another all the more for it. 
 Free trade has turned John Bull into Charley 
 Fox. I can feel for you, my boy ; for now 
 there's a foreign rogue come poaching on my 
 preserves at Ludred. And he doesn't know 
 how many legs make a horse." 
 
 Sam tapped his own dapper and well-curved 
 legs with a light gold-headed riding-whip, and 
 his favourite mare, who was under the charge 
 of a lad down the lane, gave a whinny to him. 
 " There's nothing she don't know," said Sam ; 
 " and her name it is Sally." 
 
 I was not sure which of the two fillies — for 
 I knew that he called his sweetheart one, and 
 her name too was " Sally " — my friend was 
 thus commending. But I rose to the situation, 
 and said — " Let us go, and rout the fellow 
 out." 
 
 " I was sure you would stand by a brother 
 Briton," cried Sam, shaking hands very 
 heartily ; " and you won't find me forget it, 
 Kit, when old Crumbly Pot comes back again. 
 I am keeping a look-out for you there, as I 
 gave you my word to do. It has been kettles 
 to mend, I am told, in the fen-land where he 
 hails from. I know a Jew fellow who brought
 
 AUNT PARSLOW. 249 
 
 him to book, and was very nearly quodding 
 him. He won't be back this side of Christmas, 
 unless my friend is a liar, and then I shall do 
 you as good a turn as you are going to do me 
 now. Can you make it fit to come to-morrow ? 
 I'll put my Sally in the spider, and call for you 
 about ten o'clock. You can tell old Punnets, 
 that you want to see your Aunt Parslow about 
 important business — for important it is and no 
 mistake. Think of a dirty Frenchman nob- 
 bling sweet Sally Chalker, and all her cash ! " 
 
 Old Punnets — as he insolently called my 
 Uncle — was glad enough that I should pay a 
 visit to my Aunt, or rather my mother's Aunt, 
 Miss Parslow, who was said to be worth at 
 least £10,000, as well as a very nice house, and 
 large garden, and three or four meadows by 
 the river Mole. 
 
 " You should never neglect such folk," he 
 said ; " you have no proper sense of the plainest 
 duty. She has only one relation as near as 
 you are, and he has got plenty of tin of his 
 own. You might cut him out easy enough, if 
 you tried, and now is the nick of time for it. 
 Hannah Parslow is as proud as Punch, I know ; 
 and if you can only put it to her, with a little 
 of the proper grease, of course, that your
 
 250 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 mother's son is considered unfit to marry a 
 young lady, because he cannot cut a shine, — 
 who can tell what she might do for you ? She 
 doesn't spend half of her income, I know. I 
 was thinking of it only the other night. And 
 she might allow you two hundred a year, with- 
 out stinting a pinch of Keating's powder. 
 You love dogs, and dogs love you. Half the 
 dogs in the village come to see you home. 
 Make up to Jupiter, and Juno, and the other 
 bow-wows she has taken to her bosom, and 
 you'll never want my thirty shillings a week, 
 nor yet the little balance of your father and 
 mother's money. You go and see her. Kit. 
 Don't lose a day. You may accept a lift from 
 that fast Sam Henderson ; but throw him over, 
 as soon as you have got it." 
 
 Now, this little speech was as like as two 
 peas to Uncle Corny's nature. He had never 
 said a word about meaning to give me any one 
 pound ten a week — though Heaven knows that 
 I was worth it ; for let the weather be what it 
 would, there was I making the best of it. On 
 the contrary, I had very seldom put into the 
 purse (which I carried more for the husk than 
 kernel) so much as five shillings on a Sunday 
 morning, which was my Uncle's particular time
 
 AUNT PARSLOW. 251 
 
 for easing liis conscience about me. Of course 
 I had my victuals, and my clothes to a certain 
 extent, and the power to pay his bills (which 
 made people offer me something sometimes) ; also 
 I could talk as if the place belonged to me ; but 
 people knew better for at least three miles away. 
 So that his talking of thirty shillings proved, 
 without another word on his part, his high and 
 holy views of marriage. 
 
 And again it was like him, to try to put me up 
 to get something good out of good Aunt Parslow. 
 Whatever I could get from her would mean so 
 much relief for the Orchardson firm — as he 
 often called us in his prouder times ; though if 
 I had asked for a penny of the proceeds, he 
 would have banged his big desk upon my 
 knuckles. But do not let me seem to say a 
 word against him ; for a better Uncle never 
 lived ; and I felt his generosity very deeply, 
 until I began to think of it. 
 
 Few things have been more successful yet, 
 and very few have been better managed, than 
 that drive of ours to Leatherhead. Possibly 
 Sam was a luckier fellow than myself; and I 
 think it likely, because he was less deserving. 
 Not that there was much harm about him, 
 except a kind of laxity in talk, and a strained
 
 252 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 desire to be accounted sharp, and a strong- 
 ambition to rise in the world, without cleaning 
 the steps ere he mounted them. But he showed 
 a fine heart by his words just now — although 
 he was much ashamed of it — and the pace we 
 were going at brought it out, for a brisk air 
 stirs up the best part of us. 
 
 " Ain't she a stepper ? " he said, as we crossed 
 Walton bridge, and dashed through the flood- 
 water, for the high-road was not made up 
 then ; " wet or dry is all alike to Sally. That's 
 the way to go through the world, my boy. 
 Julius Caesar crossed the river here ; and I 
 have got a yearling named after him. What 
 makes it all the kinder on my part is that he 
 hasn't got Latin in his family. How proud the 
 old chap would have been for me to go out of 
 the custom so ! It will set a whole lot of the 
 Emperors going, if the colt cuts the shine I 
 expect of him." 
 
 Knowing nothing about the turf, and caring 
 very little, I let him rattle on about pedigrees, 
 and strains of double blood, and Waxy, and 
 Whalebone, and I know not what, as bad as 
 the Multiplication table ; and I wondered that 
 such stuff should form his discourse, when he 
 should have been full of young ladies. Even
 
 AUNT PARSLOW. 253 
 
 the beauty of the country, which was more 
 than enough to delight the eyes and hold the 
 mind still with pleasure, seemed nothing to 
 Sam beyond — " Yes, very pretty. Nice bit of 
 training-ground up there. That's the sort of 
 grass that suits milk-teeth." 
 
 At last, as we came within a mile of our 
 mark, and followed the fair valley of the river, 
 I brought him to the business of the day, 
 having heard enough of Spider-wheels, and 
 flyers, and so forth ; and requiring to know 
 what he expected of me. We had gone at such 
 a pace, up hill and down, scarcely ever varying 
 from one long stride, which left every other 
 " trap " far in the lurch, that but for my boyish 
 remembrance of the place, I could scarcely 
 have believed that we were almost in the 
 village. 
 
 " Fifteen or five," he said, " that's her pace ; 
 there's no halfway house for Sally. She walks 
 a good five. Walk is the word, old gal. Well, 
 all you have got to do. Kit, is just this. I put 
 up at the ' Dolphin,' and you make a call, with 
 your best gloves on, and your hat brushed up, 
 at Valley-view House, where your good Aunt 
 lives. You have not seen her for years. So 
 much the better. Tell her that a distinguished
 
 254 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 friend of yours, especially esteemed by your 
 Uncle, and well known in the best London 
 circles, has important business in the town ; 
 and that you took occasion to pay your respects, 
 where they have been due so long. Admire 
 her dogs, and all that sort of thing ; and when 
 she insists on your staying to lunch, regret 
 very deeply that you cannot leave your dis- 
 tinguished friend, etc. Then if she is any good, 
 she will say — ' Do you think he would waive 
 formality ? ' and so on. And you say — ' If he 
 is not engaged at Lord Nethersole's, I will 
 endeavour to fetch him.' I shall happen to be 
 lounging up the hill, and shall pull out my 
 watch and be doubtful. But the attractions 
 of the spot are too many for me. I throw over 
 his lordship, and get over the old lady," 
 
 I promised to do my best towards this, but 
 without any fictions concerning him ; for his 
 best chance lay, as I told him, in moderation 
 and simplicity. For my Aunt, according to 
 my remembrance, was rather a shrewd old 
 lady ; and Sam had shown some little sense 
 of this, in the choice of what he called his 
 toggery. All rich adornments, and gorgeous 
 hues, had been for once discarded ; his clothes 
 were all of a quiet gray, and his tone had
 
 AUNT PARSLOW. 255 
 
 subsided from the solar to the lunar rainbow. 
 In short, he looked more like a gentleman, 
 than I had ever known him look before ; and 
 seeing what a fine young man he was, I felt 
 heartily glad that he had fixed his affections 
 where they could not imperil mine. 
 
 When I entered the gate of Yalley-view, 
 nine or ten small dogs came scampering out, 
 all giving tongue, and all making believe to 
 be born for one end, namely my end. There 
 were pugs, and Skye-terriers, and Blenheim- 
 spaniels, and wiry-coated terriers, and Italian 
 greyhounds, and little ridiculous toy-dogs fit 
 for a child's Noah's ark ; and I know not what 
 else, but no dog of the name of " Silence." 
 " What a pack of curs ! " I said rather grufily, 
 and with a gesture of contempt, for I never did 
 hear such a medley of barks. As dogs are the 
 most humorous creatures in the world, they 
 immediately looked at one another and laughed, 
 each applying my remark to his neighbours. 
 If they had been curs, they would have felt 
 it more ; being all of fine breeding they took 
 it lightly, as I said it, for I had no real mean- 
 ing to offend them. Then, a great deal more 
 quickly than we settle matters, they referred 
 the whole question to a grand old pug, with
 
 256 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 his face pulled up short, like a plaited blind, 
 by the cords of disgust at the tricks of man- 
 kind, and lots of little pimples, like a turbot's 
 moles, upon it. As chairman of committee he 
 came up to me^ reserving his stump in a very 
 strict line, till my character passed through the 
 test of his nose. Then he gave a little doubtful 
 trepidation to his tail, and after another sniff, 
 a very hearty wag ; and with one accord all 
 the doggies set off to the house, to announce 
 that an honest dog was coming. 
 
 Miss Parslow was inclined, as appeared there- 
 after, to attach much importance to the verdict 
 of her dogs, even as a Roman Admiral should 
 have consulted his holy chickens. When the 
 dogs came to say that they believed me to be 
 safe, their mistress put them all into their own 
 room, and came out to the porch to meet me. 
 She knew me at once, though I might have 
 forgotten her, except for a great event in my 
 life, when she gave me the first sovereign I 
 ever possessed. Being a small and slim lady, 
 she rested her head upon the upper pocket of 
 my waistcoat, which seemed to be an excellent 
 omen. 
 
 " Oh, how you do take after your dear 
 mother ! " she exclaimed, with a genial tear
 
 AUNT PAESLOW. 257 
 
 or two ; " you are not like an Orchardson, my 
 dear boy ; but a Parslow, a Parslow all over ! 
 Why have you kept away from Valley-view till 
 now i 
 
 This was a difficult question to answer ; and 
 therefore I naturally asked another. " How 
 are you getting on, my dear Aunt ? And will 
 it put you out, that I should come like this ? 
 I wrote last night; but it may have been too 
 late." 
 
 " Oh, the posts are always wrong. Come 
 and sit here by the fire. We shall have a 
 sharp winter ; I am sure of that. Jupiter knows 
 the weather as well as if he made it. Now 
 come and tell me all about your own affairs." 
 
 At first I was not at all inclined to that, 
 preferring to talk about hers, and desiring some 
 knowledge of her character and opinions, before 
 I began to spread forth my own. But she took 
 the lead of me, and contrived to get out of me 
 all about Uncle Corny, and everybody else I 
 had to do with, and even the whole of my hopes 
 and fears concerning the main object of my 
 life. For the old can always pump the young, 
 when they know the right way to oil the handle. 
 
 " I cannot see where the presumption is," she 
 said as she took my hand, and placed it in one 
 
 VOL. I. S
 
 258 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 of hers and patted it ; " your mother was Annie 
 Parslow, as sweet a young lady as any Miss 
 Fairthorn. Her father would have been Lord 
 Mayor of London, if he had only lived long 
 enough. The Parslows were in the tea line, 
 which is equal to almost any. It is true that 
 she dropped several grades in life, by marrying 
 
 George Orchardson " 
 
 " And Miss Fairthorn's friends, if she ever 
 does it, will say that she dropped several grades 
 in life by marrying Kit Orchardson." I felt 
 that I had her there; but she would not see it. 
 
 " Don't talk nonsense. Kit. Tlie case is 
 wholly different. You may be counted as half 
 a Parslow, while nobody knows what she is. 
 And you must not consider what her friends 
 will say, but your own, who are sensible people. 
 You have acted very wisely in coining over 
 to tell me all about this affair. I am sorry that 
 the girl is so poor, through her father's stupid 
 carelessness. You know that I like your Uncle 
 Cornelius, although he is such a queer character. 
 One of the most obstinate men on earth, and 
 nearly all men are obstinate. But he is apt to 
 put things off. He is always waiting for some- 
 thing else to be ready. I shall pay him a visit, 
 as soon as Mr. Parker's fly has got its new
 
 AUNT PAUSLOW. 259 
 
 cu^ihions in, and his bay horse recovered from 
 his lameness. Then we will settle something 
 about you. I never let the grass grow below 
 my feet. I shall make your Uncle Corny come 
 to book. I am quite convinced in my own 
 mind, that he has been keeping all these years 
 a nice little lump of your father's money, as 
 well as your dear mother's property. No 
 Parslow was ever a beggar yet. There was 
 none of them but had a silver teapot, as was 
 only decent in the business. And most of them 
 could fill it with bank-notes, though I'm not 
 saying that your mother could. Dear me, what 
 a dreadful to-do there was, when she ran away 
 with Greorge Orchardson ! My dear brother 
 vowed he would never forgive her, although 
 she was his favourite child ; so upright, and 
 fair, and so ladylike, and cheeks like damask 
 roses ! You never see such a sweet face now. 
 All their education is to learn to stare ; and all 
 their polish is like a brass knocker's. What 
 they all want is a good stepmother, to starve 
 and to slap their airs out of them. That may 
 have made your Kitty nicer than you can 
 expect to find them now. If I were a young 
 man, I wouldn't marry any girl who had not 
 been ten years under a strong stepmother.
 
 260 KIT AND KITTT. 
 
 Why, how many more times is that yoimg man 
 to lounge up and down the road over there ? 
 He is very like the one who comes from some- 
 where near you, and has taken a fancy to Sally 
 Chalker." 
 
 " My dear Aunt," I said, " your delightful 
 conversation has driven him out of my head 
 altogether. It must be Mr. Henderson, who 
 drove me over, a sporting man, but a land- 
 owner, and a very fashionable fellow. He is 
 waiting for me to go back with him, no doubt, 
 and he will not take the liberty of ringing your 
 bell. I must not keep him any more. Grood- 
 bye, dear Aunt." 
 
 " Do you think that I would let you go 
 without a morsel ? We shall have luncheon in 
 about five minutes. Ask your friend to join 
 us, if he will oblige me. Oh, I do like a shy 
 man, he is getting so scarce ! "
 
 ( ^61 ) 
 
 CHAPTER XXL 
 
 A TULIP BLOOM. 
 
 All Leatberbeadians used to admit, and could 
 show good reason for doing so, that my great- 
 aunt Parslow was the cleverest woman, as well 
 as the most respectable in the place. But even 
 her abilities were hardly taxed to find in my 
 friend Sam Henderson any large amount of 
 that element of shyness, with which she had 
 endowed him through the window. His merits 
 were rather inclined to dispense with any bridal 
 veil of modesty, and his charms never mantled 
 themselves in moss, as the coy rose attracts by 
 retiring. But I was pleased to find that he 
 behaved much better, than any of his best 
 friends could have hoped ; for he dropped all 
 slang, and soared into lofty places among much 
 more nobility than I had ever heard of. And 
 I wondered a little at. my Aunt's familiarity 
 with all the great names he was so friendly
 
 262 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 with ; for she never said " No," but nodded 
 intimately, whenever he presumed that she knew 
 the Earl of something, or even the Duke of 
 anything. I could not resist the conclusion 
 that the Parslows had been in the peerage, and 
 lost it ; probably through excess of greatness, 
 and consequent peril to the Throne itself. 
 
 When Sam had told scandals enough of great 
 people, to keep all Ludred in a ferment for a 
 month — though I noticed with surprise his 
 delicacy and deference to the fact (if to no 
 other) that he was speaking in the presence of 
 a maiden lady — he played another card, even 
 more effective ; he asked, as the very greatest 
 favour he could think of, the honour of an 
 introduction to the noblest circle of dogs now 
 existing in the kingdom. 
 
 " Perhaps you will regret it, Mr. Henderson," 
 Aunt Parslow replied, with a smile and a blush, 
 for she had a very pretty colour still, which 
 had varied with some of his narratives. " My 
 dogs are perfect little wizards and witches. 
 Tliey took to my nephew, because he is a 
 Parslow, and perhaps because he is so innocent. 
 But you have seen so much of the world " 
 
 " Yet kept myself quite untainted by it." 
 He spoke with such gravity that I was obliged
 
 A TULIP BLOOM. 2()3 
 
 to turn away. " Next to the society of accom- 
 plished ladies, I enjoy that of horses, and of 
 thorongh-bred dogs. With a very long interval 
 between, of course. Bat I scarcely ever meet 
 an accomplished lady. What a lucky mark I 
 must put to this day ! Oh, if I could only show 
 you ray little Tim ! He can stand on his tail, 
 and sing ' Eule Britannia,' and beat time with 
 all his four legs in the air. But compared to 
 your dogs he is nothing but a cur ! What 
 beauties! Why, Miss Parslow, I will never 
 trust my eyes again." 
 
 " Yes, they are very pretty, and as good as 
 any children, or a great deal better, I might 
 say. Jupiter, don't growl, sir. Cleopatra, take 
 your teeth out of Mr. Henderson's boot. Vulcan, 
 and Venus, and Mercury — oh dear ! " 
 
 At a signal from Jupiter, the ancient pug, 
 all the pets had made a rush at the bewildered 
 Sam, and a chorus of yells arose as he was 
 obliged, in self-defence, to kick at them. Then 
 they rallied in a body round the corner of the 
 side-board, snarling and showing their little 
 white teeth, with their bristles erect and their 
 eyes full of fire, bravely encouraging one another 
 for a still fiercer charge at the stranger. And he 
 would have had the worst of it, or killed some
 
 264 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 of the tiny ones, if I had not spied a light whip 
 in the lobby, and given Master Jupiter a crack 
 on his fat sides, which made him bolt with a 
 howl, and all his army followed suit. 
 
 " Oh, how shall I punish them ? Do forgive 
 me. I never knew them do such a thing before. 
 And I thought them such excellent judges of 
 character! How could I imagine that they would 
 ever fly at you ? And they have pulled down 
 the cloth, and broken two decanters that 
 belonged to my dear mother. But that is 
 nothing, Mr. Henderson, compared with the 
 shocking fright they have given you. How 
 can I ever thank you for not killing them?" 
 
 Then Henderson, with the skill of Hannibal, 
 turned his defeat into victory. " What plucky 
 little chaps they are ! " he said ; " I did all I 
 could to put them in a rage, on purpose to test 
 their breeding. Perhaps you saw me flash this 
 pin at them. If anything drives a small dog 
 wild, it is to catch him in the eyes with a large 
 carbuncle. But I got the worst of it, and serve 
 me right. I only hope I may not have hurt 
 any of the darlings." 
 
 " You are magnanimity itself, my dear sir ; " 
 Aunt Parslow glanced shyly at his very good 
 trousers, which would never be quite so good
 
 A TULIP BLOOM. 265 
 
 again ; " the main point is whether you are 
 hurt. Even a very little dog, you know ." 
 
 " Miss Parslow, a dog, unless really rabid, is 
 not a quarter so venomous as a cat. If I had 
 been attacked like that by cats, I could not have 
 dared to show a bit of mercy, even if they had 
 been prime favourites of yours." 
 
 "Oh, I cannot bear cats. I am so glad you 
 draw that most just distinction. Dogs are so 
 noble and generous, so candid, and loving, and 
 chivalrous. They showed that, even when they 
 did their best to bite you. But a cat is so 
 stealthy, and crawling, and crafty, and I might 
 even say bloodthirsty. Next to my dogs, I 
 love my birds, the dear little things that come 
 and sing, even in the — not by any means an 
 elegant expression — of winter. Not a robin 
 could live here, until I had my doggies. But 
 that sounds like the front-door bell! Kit, 
 would you oblige me by just seeing who it is? 
 Jenny and Biddy are engaged, I know. What 
 a very strange thing, if it should be Miss 
 Chalker ! Of course, you never heard of our 
 belle Chalker, Mr. Henderson." 
 
 " Madam, it appears to me that you are all 
 belles here." Sam bowed as lie spoke, and 
 contrived to convey me a wink as I left the
 
 266 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 room, which told me that the very strange 
 thing liad been brought to pass by post, or 
 possibly by telegram. 
 
 When I opened the door, I saw a very pretty 
 girl, but no more to be compared with my 
 darling Kitty, than a tulip with a lily of the 
 valley. Although it was close upon winter 
 now, she had a striped parasol, which I detest ; 
 and her velvet hat (turned down over one 
 ear, and turned up at the other) had two king- 
 fishers' wings stuck crosswise, and between 
 them a gorgeous topaz humming-bird. You 
 might look at my Kitty fifty times ; and if any 
 one asked you how she was dressed, you would 
 have to say, " I have not the least idea," if you 
 happened not to be a woman. But this young 
 lady's attire compelled attention, and perhaps 
 deserved it. 
 
 " Oh, I beg your pardon," she said very 
 nicely, and giving me a smile which made two 
 dimples ; " but I thought that Miss Parslow 
 might be disengaged. I thought I would look 
 in, as I was going down the town. But I will 
 not intrude, if she has visitors." 
 
 She made some difficulty about coming in, 
 as if she were not bent upon doing so ; but I told 
 her, with a look, which she feigned not to
 
 A TULIP BLOOM. 267 
 
 understand, that I should never be forgiven 
 if I allowed her to depart. Then the lady of 
 the house came out, and brought her in, and 
 introduced her to both visitors. " Oh, I know- 
 Mr. Henderson, a great friend of my father's ; 
 I am so glad that he knows you, Aunt Parslow. 
 I am sure he admires your lovely view." 
 
 Now, this was not exactly to my liking. 
 What right had she to call my Aunt Parslow 
 hers ? If I ever met any one free from petty 
 jealousy, I believe it is the one I see while 
 shaving. But ever since Sam Henderson came 
 in at my Aunt's door, I, who had been getting 
 on so well till then, seemed to be no better than 
 a nobody. He had made himself the hero of the 
 hour, and played first fiddle, and forced his way 
 into her best graces, by working on her vanity, 
 and social yearnings, and family pride, till I 
 quite expected that he would declare himself to 
 be a Parslow, and entitled to the silver teapot. 
 And now here was this girl, who had made up 
 her mind, as I could see plainly, to be Mrs. 
 Sam ere long, daring to address my wealthy 
 relative as her own Aunt Parslow ! 
 
 " Kit, you don't look very well," said the 
 lady of the house, after much chatter had been 
 indulged in ; "a little change will do you good
 
 268 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 perhaps. I suppose you are always up an 
 apple-tree at home. Would you like to come 
 with me through my long garden, and give me 
 your advice about one or two things ? The 
 view up the valley is very lovely, and so 
 perfectly rustic. Jenny will have tea ready, 
 when we come back." 
 
 To this we all agreed with great pleasure, 
 and my Aunt contrived to let Sam and his 
 Sally fall behind, quite out of our sight among 
 the trees and shrubs, while she took my arm, 
 and let me carry her camp-stool. Jupiter alone 
 of the dogs came with us, for she scarcely went 
 even to church without him ; and he certainly 
 was a clever and amusing fellow, full of infor- 
 mation, and yet always adding to it. He looked 
 at me with great respect, and not a shadow of 
 resentment for the very solid whack I had 
 bestowed upon him. His black muzzle, big 
 forehead, large deep eyes, crow's feet of ex- 
 perience, and furrows of philosophy, were 
 relieved of their austerity, every now and then, 
 by the gentle waggery of his corkscrew tail. 
 
 " Now I will show you as lovely a piece of 
 rich English landscape as ever you saw; "the 
 old lady said, as we turned a grassy corner. " I 
 have often thought of having a bower made
 
 A TULIP BLOOM. 269 
 
 here ; but perhaps that would tend to Cockneyfy 
 it. Let me have the stool, Kit, and you sit on. 
 that stump. The view from the house is very 
 beautiful, but this beats it, because it shows 
 another bend, and perhaps the very prettiest 
 bend of all the valley. You ought to be here 
 in May, Kit, when the lilacs and laburnums, 
 and the wild-broom, and the apple-blossom, and 
 the soft green of the trees along the winding- 
 river — don't talk to me of Devonshire after 
 that. I have never been there ; but I won't 
 believe it." 
 
 I admired the view, which was very nice 
 indeed, and very prettily varied in its way. 
 At the same time, I could not help thinking 
 that some of the broad reaches of the Thames, 
 and the long spread of meadows with the 
 slanting sun, and the cattle too sleek to care a 
 flip for flies, and the trees, and the islands, and 
 the glassy quiet — such as we have round our 
 way — were much more likely to do a man good 
 (which must be the thing they were made for) 
 than all the sharp turns of a pretty little stream 
 which our river receives without knowino- it. 
 
 " You are right, my dear nephew," replied 
 my dear Aunt, when I had expressed opinions 
 not exactly as above ; " it is indeed a large and
 
 270 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 noble sight. But I fear that those two young 
 people behind ns will be looking all the time at 
 one another, and perhaps never know that they 
 are in a valley. Mr. Henderson is a very 
 pleasant young man, so far as I can judge, and 
 a clever one, likely to make his own way in the 
 world, with the help of all the very great 
 friends he has. But is he to be thoroughly 
 depended on ? Has he the strict principle, and 
 downright honesty, and love of domestic life, 
 without which no marriage can be truly happy ? 
 I have a great regard for young Miss Chalker ; 
 and though her father belongs to another grade 
 of life, and one with which I have but little 
 sympathy, I believe him to be a very upright 
 man, and his heart is bound up with his only 
 child. She has no mother, you must under- 
 stand ; and I will not lend myself to anything, 
 for which I could not answer to her father and 
 myself." 
 
 My Aunt fixed her keen gray eyes upon me, 
 and her white hair added to their force and truth. 
 For the first time, I felt that I had acted rashly, 
 and by no means rightly in the matter, as she 
 put it. And that she put it sensibly, and 
 honestly, and kindly, was too evident for my 
 self-content. I should not have yielded to Sam's
 
 A TULIP BLOOM. 27 L 
 
 overtures, or at any rate, I should not have 
 involved her in the case, without being far more 
 sure than I was at present of his good qualities. 
 I answered as truthfully as I could, which is 
 the only right thing to do, however it may end. 
 And I felt that the end might be my disgrace 
 with her. 
 
 " Aunt Parslow, I know very little of Sam 
 Henderson. That is to say, I have known him 
 from a boy, but never been intimate with him. 
 In our village he is considered rather ' fast.' 
 But we are a very steady-going lot ; and any 
 one, who deals at all with racing matters, is 
 sure to get that reputation with us. I have 
 never heard anything against his honesty ; if 
 I had, I should not be with him, until it was 
 disproved. I think that he is really attached 
 to Miss Chalker ; but whether he would be a 
 good husband for her, is a great deal more than 
 I can say. You ladies are the best judges of 
 such matters. If you can give him a good word, 
 do. But it must depend entirely on your own 
 judgment. For as I said before, I do not know 
 him at all thoroughly." 
 
 " I am not very sanguine about it," said my 
 Aunt, whose eyes had never left mine, while I 
 spoke ; " and I shall take good care that, if they
 
 272 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 meet again here, it shall be with her father's 
 knowledge. There is one thing to be said, that 
 they both belong to the same class in life, and 
 are likely therefore to understand one another's 
 ways. The same cannot be said of you, my 
 dear ; and your love is a much more romantic 
 affair, and likely, I fear, to run no smooth course. 
 There I will help you all I can, and my advice 
 will be of great service to you. Also if you 
 want a little money, you know where to come 
 for it. And that reminds me that you may 
 want some now. Your Uncle Orchardson is a 
 man, I believe, of great integrity and fine 
 principle ; but I know that he objects very 
 strongly to parting with any of the means God 
 has given him. If you are obliged to run 
 away with your Kitty, to save her from an old 
 reprobate, — ^and it may come to that, though I 
 dislike such things — what does your Uncle 
 propose to do for you ? He ought to do some- 
 thing handsome." 
 
 " And so he will, something very handsome. 
 He has promised to pay me thirty shillings a 
 week, for my services in his business, and to let 
 us a cottage at five shillings a week, which 
 must be worth seven and sixpence." 
 
 " Exactly like him, the old curmudgeon !
 
 A TULIP BLOOM. 273 
 
 Well, I won't say yet what I will do, because 
 I have not even seen your Kitty, and I have 
 of course so many claims upon me. But here 
 is a ten-pound note, to save you from making 
 your Uncle unhappy by asking him to advance 
 you a trifle ; and if you want another you can 
 have it any day. I am pleased with you, 
 Christopher, because I think you have told 
 me the truth about all these affairs, as well as 
 about Mr. Henderson ; and Jupiter, who is the 
 greatest of all judges, has pronounced most 
 strongly in your favour. Now let us go and 
 look for that sporting pair. Quite enough of 
 such proceedings in my garden." 
 
 vol. I.
 
 274 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 COLDPEPPER HALL. 
 
 Although there was a little help of moonlight, 
 Sam drove home very carefully ; for the more 
 a man has to do with horses, the better he 
 knows where the risk is. And I saw that his 
 speech about Sally's speed, as a power that 
 could not be modified, was a speech, and 
 nothing more. He set me down at my Uncle's 
 door, with many warm thanks for my kindness, 
 and a strong assurance that he should now go 
 in and win. But my Uncle was not so well 
 pleased ; for he had very little love for Sam, 
 and much hatred at being kept out of his bed. 
 
 " I suppose you don't want any supper," he 
 grumbled ; " if you do, you must go and get 
 what you can find. Your Aunt Parslow is a 
 wealthy woman, but not the one to feed you 
 as I do. I'll be bound she has sent you quite 
 empty away. There's a bit of cold hock of 
 bacon in the cupboard."
 
 COLDPEPPER HALL. 275 
 
 I told him that I had been fed like a Prince, 
 which only increased his ill humour. " She 
 wants you to go and do her trees for nothing. 
 I understand that old woman ; " he said, as he 
 gave me an inch of tallow caudle. " But after 
 real turtle and Champagne, you will be able to 
 make something out of this. It came by the 
 girl, who is old Tabby's niece, or cousin, or 
 grandmother, or something. The footman, no 
 doubt, was too grand to come down here. 
 Don't bother me with it. I want my nightcap." 
 
 He gave me a letter, which he had opened, 
 and which was addressed in a crabbed hand to 
 " Mr. Cornelius Orchardsou, Market-Grardener, 
 Sunbury ; " and when he was gone, I read as 
 follows : — 
 
 " Miss Coldpepper presents her compliments 
 to Mr. Orchardson, and will be much obliged 
 if he will send his nephew Christopher to the 
 Hall at ten o'clock to-morrow morning, as Miss 
 Coldpepper has something to say to him." 
 
 My conscience being in a dreadful state of 
 nervousness and discomfort, without anybody 
 to relieve it to, or any one to put it on, I 
 wondered and wondered what this could mean ; 
 till my dreams, like a thatcher's bole, twisted 
 it into a thousand ropes of many-coloured -stuff
 
 276 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 and stream. And when the morning came at 
 last, I could not set about my work, until I 
 had learned what Tabby Tapscott thought 
 about this new surprise. She, in her provoking 
 ways, pretended to know everything, but would 
 only shake her head, and mutter, and tell me 
 to insure my life. At last I saw that she knew 
 nothing, and the only comfort that I could find 
 was to tell her that she should never know, 
 because she was an old humbug. 
 
 It was a dull and foggy morning, with a 
 gray rime on the grass, and dead leaves hanging 
 tipped with wet, and dribbles of puddles along 
 the walk doubting whether to freeze or flow, 
 and the whole air reeking with that Job's 
 comfort, which means that there is much worse 
 to come. I buttoned my coat, and strode more 
 briskly, though going upon a loth errand, you 
 may know. 
 
 When they showed me in at the tradesman's 
 door — for I then looked up to dignities, which 
 exist by being looked up to — a strange and 
 unaccustomed thing upset all the rally of my 
 conscience. Regulus, the foremost of all beings 
 in a well-regulated household, came down the 
 passage, at a pace which spoke nine volumes 
 for his digestion, though his lips were clouted
 
 COLDPEPPER HALL. 277 
 
 with fine cream ; and instead of taking a nip 
 at me, he threw up his head, as if he would 
 have taken his hat off, if he wore one, and 
 indulged in a hark of welcome, which went 
 rino-ino^ back to the hall itself. Then he cut 
 a caper round my feet, and with the innumer- 
 able laughter of his tail, fell fawning, and 
 begged but a word from me. I have often seen 
 men of small self-respect do that sort of thing 
 to great personages, but I knew that this dog 
 was full of self-respect, and had little for other 
 people. What was passing in his mind I 
 cannot say, but simply record his actions. 
 
 " Well, I never see the like ! " said Charles, 
 who had condescended to let me in. " Why, 
 he snap'th worse than ever at me ; though the 
 Lord knows how I sweated to get 'un back. 
 But come along this way. Master Kit ; my lady 
 will see you in the Justice-room." 
 
 He showed me into a square panelled chamber, 
 where old Squire Nicholas used to rule over 
 poachers and little thieves brought before him 
 by the parish constable ; and with Regulus still 
 at my heels, I stood waiting anxiously for the 
 lady. 
 
 At length there came a rustle of silk moving 
 slowly, watered silk, such as we seldom see
 
 278 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 now, and can scarcely find time to think of. 
 And as fine as the silk, and as able to stand 
 alone, was the lady inside it. Although she 
 lived so near to us, and drove by in her 
 carriage so often, I knew her rather by sight 
 than speech, and better by report than either. 
 She was tall, and straight, and of goodly 
 presence, with fine large features, and a stead- 
 fast look, which expressed clear perception and 
 strong resolve, but less violence of nature than 
 her sister showed. Her abundant hair, drawn 
 back from her ample forehead and coiled at the 
 back of her head, would have been jet black, 
 but for a few lines of silver and an undercast 
 of a tint like that of an American oak-leaf. To 
 me she appeared more imposing and handsome 
 than her sister Monica; but I may have thought 
 more highly of her because she lived at Sun- 
 bury. This lady made me a gTaceful bow, a 
 very slight one, but still it was a bow, and 
 proved that her nature was better than that 
 of the Honourable Mrs. Bulwrag. I replied 
 with a low bend and scrape of my foot, which 
 I always understand to be the proper thing, 
 in such a case. And the guilt of my heart, 
 as I thought of her dog, was enough to account 
 for the deep blush I felt.
 
 COLDPEPPER HALL. 279 
 
 " Are you the young Mr. Orcliardson," she 
 asked, "the nephew of that Mr. Orchardson 
 who owns the large garden and long walls at 
 Sunhury ? Then I have a little matter to dis- 
 cuss with you. But how strongly my dog 
 seems to take to you ! It is not at all his 
 general character. He is not at all devoted 
 to mankind. But he has a remarkable memory. 
 Perhaps you were kind to him, when he was 
 quite young. Or perhaps you were even his 
 master ? " 
 
 " No, Ma'am ; I know him only as your dog. 
 But most dogs are fond of me. An aunt of 
 mine has nine, and I was with them yesterday." 
 
 " Oh, that explains it ; " she spoke with a 
 smile which made her face quite beautiful, and 
 I wondered at the taste of the Honourable Tom 
 in exchanging her for her sister. "Now I dare 
 say you know why I sent for you. For some 
 years I have not seen very much of my sister, 
 now the wife of Professor Fairthorn, a man 
 well known in the scientific world. But a few 
 weeks ago Captain Fairthorn asked me to allow 
 his daughter by a previous marriage to spend 
 a few days with me here ; and I consented, 
 for I knew him long before he married my 
 sister, and have always felt a great regard for
 
 280 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 him. There is no reason why I should enter 
 into that. Miss Fair thorn was here for about 
 ten days, and she might have been longer but 
 for you. Who are you, that you should dare 
 to fall in love with her?" 
 
 Now these words look very harsh as written, 
 and would sound so too, if harshly spoken. But 
 Miss Coldpepper scarcely seemed to mean them 
 thus ; for there was no contempt in her voice, 
 and I thought that her glance was kind, though 
 her face was very grave. Perhaps she was 
 thinking of her own love-time ; which would 
 rouse at once pity for me, and ill-will towards 
 the sister, who then had wronged her so. 
 
 It was difficult for me to answer her, and I 
 was in no hurry to do so ; knowing from 
 dialogues with Tabby Tapscott, that women are 
 ready to go on again, and perhaps answer them- 
 selves, when provoked to do it. Not that I 
 compared Miss Coldpepper with our poor Tabby 
 for a moment; only that much the same rule 
 applies to all women, when they grow unruly. 
 Their main object is to say something striking, 
 being forbidden by nature to strike otherwise. 
 
 " You have nothing to say then," continued 
 the lady, without giving me time to know how 
 much I had ; " very well, I think that it is better
 
 COLDPEPPER HALL. 281 
 
 SO. I have tried to make every allowance for 
 you, and I am glad not to find you at all defiant. 
 Miss Fairthorn, of course, has no particular 
 claims of birth to stand upon ; for you know, 
 and perhaps you have thought about that, that 
 she has none of the Coldpepper blood in her 
 system. I suppose, if she had, you would 
 scarcely have dared to behave in this way, Mr. 
 Orchardson ? " 
 
 " Certainly not, madam." I replied with 
 genuine truth, for I must have been frightened 
 at the fearful temper of the family. And if 
 Kitty had been a Coldpepper, she could not 
 have owned the sweet face which had won me. 
 
 " Really, I do not perceive in you," her lady- 
 ship (as our people called her) went on in a 
 gentler tone, " any signs of that audacity with 
 which my sister charges you. To me you seem 
 to be a well-meaning and fairly educated young- 
 man. And it may be your misfortune, more 
 than fault, that you have given this offence. 
 You certainly were of the greatest service to my 
 niece — as I allow her to call herself, although 
 she is no niece of mine — when that excessively 
 stupid Marker led her into needless danger. 
 I do not know what I could have said to 
 Professor Fairthorn, if his daughter had been
 
 282 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 swept away, througli the folly of my house- 
 keeper. And more than that, I was beginning 
 to grow rather fond of that young girl. I 
 found her so ready, and clever, and obliging, 
 and free from the conceit the young people 
 show now. When she was taken away like 
 that, I missed her very sadly, and felt for her 
 deeply at having to go back to — to so very dull 
 a house. But I wish you to understand, young 
 man, that though I am not in a position to 
 forbid, I cannot in any way sanction, or even 
 approve your suit to her. And I trust that 
 your own common sense will induce you to 
 withdraw it, and try to forget her. You may 
 think it hard. But it must be so. Will you 
 promise to think no more of her ? " 
 
 " No, I cannot do that ; " I -answered in a low 
 voice, which grew stronger, as my heart 
 warmed with my words. " I will tell you no 
 falsehood. Miss Coldpepper. As long as I live, 
 I must think of her, and no one else in all this 
 world. She is more to me than my life, my 
 soul, or even my hope of another life. From the 
 moment I first set eyes upon her, there was 
 nothing else worth living for. The Lord, who 
 governs all our ways, and knows what is the 
 best for us, has been pleased to give me her
 
 COLDPEPPER HALL. 283 
 
 pure love, a greater gift than the Hfe He gave ; 
 and with His aid I will bold it fast; and He 
 alone shall ever part us. I am not accustomed 
 to strong words, but these are weak, to what 
 my meaning is." 
 
 " Wellj I think they are pretty strong ; but I 
 will not blame you for them." She turned from 
 my eyes, which were bright with deep passion, as 
 behoved a well-bred lady. " When things have 
 come to such a pass, there is little more to be 
 said or done. Only it occurs to me, who have 
 seen a good deal of men and women, that these 
 brave words are often said, and for the moment 
 felt, no doubt ; but in a few years, or even one, 
 or perhaps a month — where are they ? A new 
 love, equally the gift of Heaven, comes in with 
 still hotter fervour ; and the old one is whistled 
 down the wind. And why should it not be so 
 with you ? " I knew that in the heat of the 
 moment, she was referring to her own case ; and 
 my place was to be silent. 
 
 " Christopher Orchardson," she said at last, 
 recovering her business tone, " I have delivered 
 my message to you, and it has not made much 
 impression. To me the matter is of little 
 moment, except that I like Miss Fairthorn more 
 than I ever expected to like a girl again. And
 
 284 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 I am not pleased, as you may suppose, that she, 
 with her youth, and abilities, and beauty, should 
 make so poor a marriage. Have you thought 
 of this ? Have you considered whether you 
 have any right to take her from a rank in life, 
 or at least from a social position above your 
 own, and keep her in a cottage, among working- 
 men, with a scanty and perhaps doubtful in- 
 come ? You are a man of spirit ; do you think 
 this fair ? " 
 
 This was the point of all points, which 
 perplexed me more than I could settle. She 
 saw how deeply her words had moved me, and 
 waited with a grim smile for my reply. 
 
 " Yes, I have fully considered that ; and it is 
 the one matter I doubt about. You have put 
 it more clearly, madam, than I could put it, and 
 entirely without exaggeration. And I scarcely 
 know how to answer, without referring to things 
 that may pain you. But you may be aware 
 that Miss Fairthorn at present leads a most 
 unhappy life. And even worse than that, every- 
 thing is being done to force her into a miserable 
 marriage with a man of more than twice her 
 age, and of anything but good character. He 
 is supposed to be rich, but is poorer than my- 
 self, because he owes more than he can pay.
 
 COLDPEPPEK HALL. 285 
 
 She had better go to her grave, than become 
 the wife of such a person. From this she has 
 no escape except the quiet home I can give 
 her. And to live among working-men, who 
 would respect, and look up to, and admire her, 
 is surely less of a degradation than to be 
 brought into wild and rough company, as in 
 the other case she must be. It will be known 
 here, that she has had the honour of your 
 acquaintance and liking ; and though you may 
 not think fit to continue it, under the change 
 of circumstances, people will value her by 
 what has been. And as for being hapj)y, 
 what is there to prevent it ? She will live in a 
 beautiful place and fine gardens, where there 
 is always plenty to look at, and enjoy, according 
 to the time of year, abundance of flowers, and 
 fruit, and good living, my Uncle to make much 
 of her, and myself to worship her, and nobody 
 ever to say a cross word." 
 
 " It is not surprising that you have won her 
 consent," Miss Coldpepper answered gravely, 
 " if you have put your proposals thus. How 
 could a poor London girl resist such a pro- 
 gramme? And Kitty loves the country, as a 
 lark or a wood-queist does. Well, you must 
 understand that I will have nothing more to
 
 286 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 say about it. I have been asked to tell you 
 what I think. I have done so ; and there is an 
 end of it." 
 
 With these words, she rang the bell, for 
 some one to show me the way out ; but having 
 found her much less awful than I had expected, 
 I was not content to let well alone, but must 
 needs try to get further. 
 
 " Madam," I said, " you have listened so 
 kindly to all I have ventured to tell you, that 
 I hope you will let me ask one question, without 
 being thought impertinent. It is only that I 
 should like to know, who it is that has begged 
 you to speak to me, and whether Captain Fair- 
 thorn is aware of it," 
 
 At once her demeanour was changed to me, 
 and her lofty indifference was gone. Her eye- 
 brows rose, and her eyelids quivered, and her 
 face flushed with wrath, like a storm-cloud with 
 the sun. 
 
 " I think that I have listened too kindly to 
 you, and the things you have dared to tell me. 
 It will teach me to have less to say to under- 
 bred young men henceforth. Charles, show this 
 young man where the front door is." 
 
 This was very clever, and abashed me deeply ; 
 as if I had no right to know any other than
 
 COLDPEPPEK HALL. 287 
 
 the back-entrance. And I observed that she 
 did not lose her self-command, nor revile me as 
 if on her own level, as her far less dignified 
 sister did. I was much more entirely smitten 
 down, and made sensible of my distance from 
 her, as one too deep to be bridged by words. 
 And yet the sense of justice, which is always 
 strongest in the youno;, stood up and bade me 
 take all this as only of human ordinance. For 
 no thought of presumption had been in my 
 mind, or of undue familiarity. A cat may look 
 at a King ; and the King (like a dog) hath 
 only his own day.
 
 288 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 AT BAY, AND IN THE BAT. 
 
 Every one, who can call to mind that year of 
 bad weather, 1860, will bear me out in saying 
 that it showed no weakness, no lack of con- 
 sistency to the last. Rain and chill were the 
 rule of the summer, snow and severe cold the 
 order of the winter. In the beofinnino- of 
 December, the earth was sodden, and the rivers 
 thick with flood. Then the sky was amassed 
 with fog, and the trees hung low with trembling 
 drip, and even the humble weeds and grass 
 were bearded with a glaucous reek, not crisp 
 nor bright as of rime or frost, but limp, and dull, 
 and bleary. Having never seen such a thing 
 till now, I could not tell what to make of it ; 
 but Uncle Corny, who had been compelled for 
 years to watch the weather, said — " Up with all 
 the winter apples, and the Glou Morceau, and 
 Beurre Ranee, up with them all to Co vent
 
 AT BAY, AND IN THE BAY. 289 
 
 Garden, or we shall have them frozen on the 
 shelves. Or even if we can keep the frost out, 
 we shall have the van snowed np. Things 
 looked just as they do now, in December, 1837, 
 only the ground was not so wet. Go down to 
 the barges, and order in ten tons of coal, we 
 shall want it all, and twenty chaldrons of gas- 
 coke. The frost will last till February, and 
 fuel will cost a rare price then." 
 
 I was inclined to laugh at this as a bold and 
 rash prediction ; but it was more tlian verified 
 by the weather that set in upon the eighteenth 
 of December, not with any sudden change, but 
 the cold growing more decided. By this time 
 Honeysuckle Cottage was thoroughly cleansed, 
 and in good trim, painted, and papered, and 
 neatly furnished, with Tabby put in to keep it 
 warm, but only permitted to use one room. 
 And I used to go there every day, and sit in 
 the little parlour, reading the only letter I had 
 vet received from one who was more to me 
 than words. It was written in a small clear 
 hand, and dated on the very day after my visit 
 to her, and the purport of it was to comfort me 
 and persuade me to wait with all endurance, 
 until I should have leave to come again. And 
 long as the time had seemed, and dreary, and 
 
 VOL. I. u
 
 290 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 empty of all except distant hope, I had done 
 my best to get through it, with the courage of 
 a man, and the faith of love. 
 
 " It is for my dear father's sake," she wrote, 
 " that I am compelled to ask you this. There 
 has been a fearful scene which even his sweet 
 endurance and wonderful temper could scarcely 
 carry him through, without sad injury to his 
 health and work. His heart is not very strong, 
 and though he tries to laugh these troubles off, 
 or despise them as below his notice, to me it is 
 plain that they worry and wear him, a great 
 deal more than he deigns to show. And I know 
 that he bitterly reproaches himself, although 
 he so rarely speaks of it, for having been so 
 deluded as to place nearly all liis property in 
 the power of those who should only have a part. 
 When he looks at me and sighs, I know exactly 
 what he is thinking of; and it is my place to 
 save him from all that can be avoided of strife 
 and ill treatment. A more placid and peaceful 
 man never lived, yet comfort and peace are 
 denied him. In a few weeks he will leave 
 home again — if this house can be called a home 
 — and then I should like to see you, dear, with 
 his permission before he goes ; because I am 
 not afraid for myself, and I may have to settle
 
 AT BAY, AND IN THE BAY. 291 
 
 what is to be done, if a certain gentleman 
 should come back, and try to force his visits 
 upon me, while my father is away. If this 
 should happen, you shall hear at once, unless 
 I am locked up, as I used to be sometimes. Do 
 not write ; she takes every letter ; and it would 
 only cause more misery. We must trust in 
 Heaven, and in one another ; for I know that 
 you love me, as I love you." 
 
 This very faithful and sensible letter was 
 beginning to grow threadbare now, or rather 
 was returning to its original state of thread, 
 with my constant handling. And it left me 
 in a sore predicament, which became sorer, as 
 time went on, and no other tidings reached me. 
 It was grievous to reflect, that with better 
 policy, and judicious flattery, I might perhaps 
 have contrived to get a scrap or two of infor- 
 mation even from the stately laily of tlie Hall, 
 or at any rate through Mrs. Marker. But that 
 good housekeeper shunned me now, probably 
 under strict orders ; or if ever I managed to 
 bring her to bay, she declared that she knew 
 nothing ; and perhaps this was true, for the 
 choleric sisters held little communication. As 
 a last resource, I got Mrs. Tapscott to promise 
 her niece the most amiable tips for every bit of
 
 292 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 tidings she could bring ; but nothing came of 
 that, and by this time verily my condition 
 of mind was feverish. In vain I consulted that 
 oracle of the neighbourhood — Uncle Corny ; for 
 an oracle he was now become, partly through 
 making good figures of his fruit, partly through 
 holding tongue and shaking head, and partly 
 no doubt by defeating the lawyers, and smoking 
 out " Old Arkerate." But all I could win from 
 this oracle was — "Go up, and get in at the 
 window." 
 
 I was ready to get in at any window — big 
 enough for my head to pass — if only I could 
 have found Kitty inside, and quick to forgive 
 me for coming. But to talk is all very fine, 
 and old men make it do for everything ; to act 
 is the province of the young, who have not 
 found out how vain it is. 
 
 Being touched up therefore on every side — • 
 for even old Tabby made sniffs at me, and 
 Selsey Bill winked, in a manner that meant — 
 " Would there ever have been seventeen young 
 Selseys, if I had hung fire as you do ? " — and 
 my Uncle said quietly, between two puffs — " In 
 for a penny in for a pound ; that used to be 
 the way when I was young " — being stirred up 
 more deeply by my own heart, which was sadly
 
 AT BAY, AND IN THE BAY. 293 
 
 unquiet within me, I set off at last, without 
 a word, and not even a horse to help me. 
 
 The frost had set in, that mighty frost which 
 froze the Thames down to Kingston Bridge, and 
 would have frozen it to London Bridge, except 
 for one pause at the end of the year, and the 
 rush of so much laud- water. The ground was 
 already as Imrd as iron, but no snow had fallen, 
 to smother it up. The walking was good, and 
 the legs kept going, to keep one another and 
 the whole affair alive. There must have been 
 a deal of ground soon overcome between them ; 
 for they were not out of Uncle Corny's gate till 
 Sunbury clock struck three, and they knocked 
 against the gate of Bulwrag Park, when the 
 twilight still hung in the sky. And this had 
 been done against a bitter east wind, with a 
 low scud of snow flying into the teeth, and 
 scurfing the darkening road with gray. 
 
 Here it was needful to reflect a little ; for to 
 think against the drift of air is worthless, for 
 anything weaker than a six-wheeled engine. 
 I found a little shelter from the old Scotch firs, 
 and halted in their darkness, and considered 
 what to do. The house, about a hundred yards 
 away, looked cold, and grim, and repellent, and 
 abhorrent, except for one sweet warmth inside.
 
 294 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 The dark shrubs before it were already powdered 
 with the gathering crust of snow ; and the rest- 
 less wind was driving cloudy swirls of white 
 along and in under the laps of blue slate. So 
 far as I could see, one chimney only was issuing 
 token of some warmth inside. I had scarcely 
 shivered yet in the fierce cold of the road, and 
 the open tracks where no road was ; but I shud- 
 dered with a deep thrill of anguish and dismay, 
 as I watched that bleak house, with the snow 
 flitting round it, the bitter frost howling in 
 every wild blast, and not a scrap of fire to keep 
 my sweet love's body warm. 
 
 " If they have not quite starved her, since 
 her father left," I said to myself, being sure 
 that he was gone, " they will not lose this 
 chance of freezing her to death. I have heard 
 what they do in such weather. They keep her 
 where the water-jugs burst, and the ice is on 
 the pillow, while they roast themselves by a 
 roaring fire. May they roast for ever ! " 
 
 Slow as I am of imagination, this picture had 
 such an effect upon me, that I caught up ray 
 stick which had stood against the tree, and 
 determined to knock the front door in, if they 
 would not admit me decently. But glancing 
 back first, to be sure of having the place to
 
 AT BAY, AND IN THE BAY. 295 
 
 myself, I beheld through the wind-hurried 
 flakes an advancing" figure. Two looks were 
 enough ; it was my darling, bending to the 
 wind, but walking bravely, and carrying a 
 basket in her ungloved hand. Her little thin 
 cloak, and summer hat — for they had given her 
 no other — were as white as the ground itself 
 with snow, and so were the clusters of her rich 
 brown hair, which time shall whiten by the 
 side of mine. But her large blue eyes and soft 
 rosy cheeks were glistening bravely through 
 the fleecy veil, and a smile of resolve to make 
 the best of all thinirs showed little teeth whiter 
 than any snowflake. Through the brunt of the 
 storm she had not descried me, until she was 
 suddenly inside my arms. 
 
 Then she dropped her basket in the snow, 
 and looked up at me, and tried hard to be 
 vexed. But nature and youth were too many 
 for her, and she threw her glad arms round 
 my neck, and patiently permitted me to leave 
 no snow either on her face or in her curls. 
 
 "Oil, Kit, if they should see us from the 
 house ! " she whispered ; and I said — ■ 
 
 " They had better not, or they shall have this 
 stick." 
 
 However, for fear of any rashness about that,
 
 296 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 I led her with a smooth and easy pace — for she 
 could move heautifully with my arm round her, 
 which no clumsy girl could do — to a snug little 
 nook, where a large bay tree broke the power 
 of the wind, and screened the snow. Here we 
 found a low branch upon which we could sit, 
 with the fragrant leaves to shelter us ; and ever 
 since that when I smell a bayleaf, I can never 
 help thinking of my love, even when it is in 
 pickled mackerel. 
 
 When I had told her a thousand times of my 
 delight at finding her, and she with a hundred 
 blushes perhaps had begged me to show it 
 judiciously, I asked where she had been in such 
 dreadful weather, and what she had got in the 
 basket. " Two bottles of brandy," she answered 
 as coolly as if it had been a cowslip ball ; "from 
 the Bricklayers' Arms I had to fetch them, 
 because nobody else would go out in the 
 storm." 
 
 " What ! " I cried, looking at her pure and 
 bashful eyes, " do you mean to say that you are 
 sent alone to a common public-house, where the 
 navvies go ? " 
 
 " Oh, they never say anything to me, dear 
 Kit. But I cannot bear to go, when there are 
 noisy people there. And I believe that my
 
 AT BAY, AND IN THE BAY. 297 
 
 father would be angry if he knew it. It has 
 only happened once or twice, when the weather 
 was very bad." 
 
 " Does she ever send her own daughters 
 there ? " I asked as mildly as I could, for Kitty 
 was trembling at my natural wrath, and stern 
 manner. 
 
 " Oh no ! She would not like to send them 
 at all, even if they would go, which is very 
 doubtful. But she says that my place is to be 
 useful ; and she never can do without brandy 
 long. She gets tired of wine in the evening." 
 
 " The case is just this," I said, wishing to let 
 off my wrath, that I might speak of more 
 pleasant things ; " she revels upon your father's 
 money, and squanders it on her children's 
 whims ; she locks him up in a corner of his own 
 house, makes a slave of his only child, starves 
 and beats her, and degrades her by sending her 
 for drink to a pot-house. A young lady — the 
 best, and the sweetest, and noblest " 
 
 I was obliged to stop, in fear of violence. 
 But my dear one became all the dearer to me, 
 as I thought of her misery and patience. If 
 my Uncle Cornelius tried to " put upon " me, 
 was I ever known to put up with it ? And 
 consider the difference betwixt an Uncle, who
 
 298 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 fed me, and kept me, and allowed me money — 
 or at any rate promised to do so — and a vile 
 stepmother, who ruined the father, and starved 
 and bullied and disgraced the child ! Truly we 
 learn to forget right and wrong ; as our Country 
 has learned in these latter days. 
 
 " No one can degrade me, but myself," Miss 
 Fairthorn answered gently, and without any 
 thought of argument. " But I will not go 
 again, if you think it wrong, I have been so 
 accustomed to run errands for her, that I never 
 gave a thought to the difference at first, :md 
 having done it once, I could not say ' no ' the 
 next time. But I know it is not nice ; and I 
 will never go again, now that I know you 
 object to it, dear. You won't be angry, when 
 I have given you my promise ? " 
 
 " To send an Angel to a public-house " — but 
 I said no more about it, for the Angel sighed, 
 and put her hand into mine, to be forgiven. 
 Then I asked her, with my wrath turning into 
 jealous pangs, about that old villain, who had 
 dared to imagine that his wealth — if he had any 
 — or at any rate his position, could bridge over 
 the gulf between virtue and vice, loveliness 
 and ugliness, sweet maidenhood and sour 
 decrepitude of bad living. Of these things I
 
 AT BAY, AND IN THE BAY. 299 
 
 could not speak to her ; but her modesty shrank, 
 without knowing why. 
 
 " That poor old gentleman has been very 
 ill," she answered in her clear and silvery 
 voice, which made me thrill, like music. " He 
 went to see to some business in Lincolnshire, 
 and was laid up for weeks with ague. But he 
 is to come back when the weather permits. If 
 he had appeared, I would have let you know, 
 for I should have been frightened, with my 
 father not at home. But I am sorry to say 
 there is some one coming, more formidable to 
 me than Sir Cumberleigh is. You will think I 
 am full of dislikes, dear Kit, but I do dislike 
 that Downy so. He is her son Donovan, her 
 only son ; and she worships him — if she 
 worships anything." 
 
 I had heard of this Donovan Bulwrag more 
 than once, but knew very little about him, 
 except that, unless he was much belied, he 
 combined the vices of both his parents. But my 
 duty was now to reassure my Kitty, and leave 
 her in good spirits, so far as that was possible. 
 Though every minute of her company was as 
 precious as a year of life to me, I was fearful 
 of keeping her longer in the cold, and insuring 
 a very hot reception from her foes. Of the
 
 300 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 latter however she had not much dread, being 
 so inured to ill iisa2:e, that a little more or less 
 was not of much consideration. But her cloak 
 was threadbare, and her teeth began to chatter, 
 as the keen wind shook the tree above us, and 
 scattered the snow upon our shoulders. 
 
 In a few words we arranged to be no longer 
 without frequent news of one another ; for I 
 told her very truly, that without this luck I 
 must have gone home in utter misery, unless 
 I had forced my way to her ; and with equal 
 sincerity she replied, that she did not know 
 what she could have done, for the time had 
 been dreary and desolate. Then she promised 
 to write to me every week, not long love-letters, 
 for of those there was no need with our pure 
 faith in one another, and her opportunities 
 would be but brief; yet so as to let me know 
 that she was safe, and not persecuted more than 
 usual. These letters she must post with her 
 own hand, and my answers she must call for at 
 a little shop kept by an old servant of the 
 Captain's, who would not betray her. If possible, 
 she would write on Saturdays, so that I might 
 get the letter on a Sunday morning ; and if any- 
 thing were added to her troubles, I might come, 
 and try to let her know of it through Mrs.
 
 AT BAY, AND IN THE BAY. 301 
 
 Wilcox, who kept the little shop she had spoken 
 of. With this I was obliged to be content for 
 the present ; much as I longed for a bolder 
 course, she would not leave her father, without 
 his full consent. 
 
 " But you shall have something to remember 
 me by, and something too that came from him," 
 she whispered, as her fears began to grow 
 again. " He gave me a watch on my last 
 birthday, a beautiful watch with a blue enamel 
 back, and Kitty done in little diamonds. She 
 said that it was much too good for me, and she 
 gave it to Greraldine, her youngest girl. But 
 oh, I cheated them out of something, because I 
 felt that they were cheating me. They never 
 knew that he had given me a gold key for it, a 
 lovely little key with a star in the centre. Here 
 it is, see how it sparkles in the dusk ! Take 
 it, my dear, and wear it always, and you will 
 think it is the key of my heart. Kit, which 
 you managed to steal down at Sunbury so. 
 You must not give me anything in return. 
 Not now at least ; perhaps some day you 
 may." 
 
 It was now so dark that I ventured to lead 
 her, and carry her basket to the little side-door, 
 for that part of the house was dark and empty.
 
 302 KIT AND KITTY. 
 
 Then she gave me a sweet farewell, with one 
 little sob to strengthen it ; and the snow 
 whirled into her glistening eyes, and a shiver 
 ran through me, when she was gone. 
 
 END OF VOL. I. 
 
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