DS 
 473.5 
 
 1788 
 
 ^ Lett 
 Jbecond to I 
 
 if 
 III
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 AT LOS ANGELES
 
 LETTERS 
 
 FROM 
 
 SIMP KIN THE SECOND 
 
 TO HIS 
 
 DEAR BROTHER IN WALES; 
 
 CONTAINING AN 
 
 HUMBLE DESCRIPTION OF THE TRIAL 
 
 WARREN HASTINGS, Esq. 
 
 WITH 
 
 SIMON's ANSWER. 
 
 
 
 D U B L IN: 
 
 PRINTED FOR P. BYRNE, GRAFTON-STREET, 
 AND J. MOORE, COLLEGE-GREEN. 
 
 t.UCC.LXXXYIII.
 
 JJ5 
 
 LETTER I. 
 
 FROM 
 
 S1MPKIN THE SECOND 
 
 TO HIS 
 
 DEAR BROTHER IN WALES. 
 
 \ 
 
 *V With an humble Defcriptlon of the prefent Trial. 
 
 DEAR BROTHER, 
 
 JL HE Letter I formerly fent you, 
 
 I hope was defcriptive enough to content you 
 With refpeft to PROCESSION, and taking of Places, 
 My Mailers and Judges, by Lordfhips and Graces : 
 According to promife, I now {hall defcribe 
 The Proceffion of BURKE, and his Eloquent Tribe 
 
 A 2 Firjf t 
 
 858686
 
 [ 4 ] 
 
 Firjl, EDMUND walks in at the head of the Groupc, 
 That powerful Chief of that powerful Troop 
 What awful folemnity's feen in his gait, 
 Whilft the Nod of his Head beats due time to his Feet ! 
 CHARLES Fox is the fecond, and clofe on his right, 
 Whofe waddle declares he will never go ftraight. 
 The rubicund SHERIDAN enters the third, 
 The Oppofer of PITT, and the Treafury Board 
 His attention, 'tis faid, has fo long been directed, 
 To the National Debts, that his own are negle&ed 
 And in Public Affairs, when fuch management's fhewn, 
 No wonder a man cannot think of his own. 
 Next ADAM comes in, with a fpit at his fide, 
 And ftruts like a Turkey-Cock, fwelling with pride : 
 Then ANSTRUTHER follows, that Weather-Cock Elf, 
 Who fhews how a Man may dijjent tram. HIMSELF 
 To the Governor HASTINGS, his praife was profufe; 
 On Prifoner HASTINGS, he pours forth abufe 
 Then follows Young GREY, an exaft imitator 
 Of the fcurrilous BURKE, a moil promifing Prater : 
 Tho' all muft lament that he's under fuch Banners, 
 " As Evil Community fpoils our Good Manners." 
 Then PELHAM, FITZPATRICK, and WINDHAM came 
 
 forth, 
 With MONTAGUE, MAITLAND, withBuRGOYNE and 
 
 North. 
 
 CHICK
 
 [ 5 1 
 
 CHICK TAYLOR, and ERSKINE, are join'd in the Vote, 
 And as MANAGERS known, by a Bag and drefs Coat. 
 Then FRANCIS comes fneaking, with grief in his heart, 
 At not being indulg'd with a MANAGER'S /wr/ 
 Tho' he now and then fleals to the Managers 1 Box, 
 To fuggeft a fhrewd Queftion to BURKE and CHARLES 
 
 Fox. 
 
 The COMMONS, from riding who have any leifure, 
 In order come in, and go out at their pleafure 
 Now the Court is afiembled, in form to begin, -\ 
 
 And SHERRY begs leave to call Middleton in, 
 That name, at whofe found there's a general grin -^ 
 Five days has Poor MIDDLETON fweated and ftew'd j 
 Their Qiaeftions were artful, his Anfwers were {hrewd 
 He was afk'd, " If the Eunuch ALMASS had a Child?" 
 Lord THURI.OW look'd black, and the Ladies all fmil'd; 
 The Witnefs made anfwer, " I really can't fay ;" 
 
 The powers of his Mem'ry were melted away. 
 
 jfj. Have you e'er feen the BEGUMS ? He anfwer'd, 
 
 I've not : 
 
 J^. Pray mention their perfons? A. Indeed I've forgot. 
 G). What may in Rebellion your principles be, 
 Or can you the probable confequence fee 
 Or Men rifing in Arms, and o'er-running the Na_ 
 
 tion ? 
 
 He reply'd, Tis a Queftion of deep Speculation.'* 
 
 . When
 
 r 6 ] 
 
 ^. When the Eunuchs were fetter'd, pray what did 
 
 they feel ? 
 Were they thinking of Poifon, the Rack, or the 
 
 Wheel ? 
 
 - Or what do you thinly might have been their in- 
 tentions ? 
 
 A. I concern not myfelf about their apprehenfions. 
 ^f|. How many young damfels were in the KhordMhal? 
 A. I do not believe I can recollect all. 
 4J. Say What were their wimes, or what was their 
 
 view ? 
 
 A. I cannot remember that ever I knew. 
 
 >. When they threaten'd to throw themfelves over -\ 
 
 the Wall, I 
 
 What induc'd them to hazard the getting a fall ? f 
 
 A. I do not remember they did fo at all. J 
 
 >. What did GORDON addrefs to the Regum that 
 
 Letter ? 
 
 A. He himfelf is in Court, and can anfwer you better. 
 >. You were at Lucknoiv in the year Eighty-two ? 
 A. I'm inclin'd to believe what you fay may be true. 
 
 4J. Have YOU any doubts of it ? And if fo, how 
 
 many ? 
 
 A. I believe not ; I think I cannot have' any. 
 j^. ThePRisoNER'j-Z)^/;^; did you pen part or not? 
 A. I had fomc Conversation with Major JOHN SCOTT. 
 
 With
 
 C 7 ] 
 Q With the Counfel of HASTINGS were you at the 
 
 Hall? * 
 
 A. I might accidentally give them a call. 
 4J. What, went accidentally with Major SCOTT ? 
 A. I really don't know ; if I did, I've forgot, 
 j^. Do Children in India their Parents efteem ? 
 
 Do they love their Mammas f or how ftrong do 
 
 you deem 
 
 Their affection may be ? or, pray can you tell, 
 If Papa and Mamma ai"e lov'd equally well ? 
 A. Some perhaps love their Father, and fome love 
 
 their Mother, 
 
 And fome Children like neither one nor the other. 
 4*. Does the Son, by the Laws of the Koran, fucceed 
 To the Father's Eftate ? A. Yes, the eldeft in- 
 deed. 
 4J; May the Mother that Property legally keep, 
 
 Lodg'd where (he and her Hufband do ufually fleep ? 
 A* I am rather inclin'd to be led, I confefs, 
 
 To believe that the Wife no fuch right does pofiefs. 
 
 When SHERRY had finifh'd this Examination, 
 He their Lordfhips addrefs'd with this florid Oration j 
 " My LORDS ! to your Lordfhips, it needs muft appear, 
 That the Charges are founded on evidence clear. 
 
 Drapers' Hall, 
 
 Mv
 
 C 8 3 
 
 " My Lords, pray attend, whilft I fpeak more at large, 
 " And apply what we've heard to eftablifh the Charge. 
 " ALMASS had a Son, whom the Prifoner deftroy'd; 
 f( The Begums were Dames, who rich jointures enjoy'd : 
 " Large extenfive Jaghires, and for that only reafon, 
 " The Prifoner declared they were guilty of Treafon. 
 We have prov'd, no Rebellion was ftirr'd up by them^ 
 " And that HA STINGS was not authoris'd to condemn, 
 The Eunuchs ft> fuffer the Rack and the Wheel , 
 " For Eunuchs, tho' fuch, many kuoiv, they can feel 
 " That two thoufand Young Damfels lived in the 
 
 KhordMhal, 
 
 fl Who threw themfelves headlong juft over the wall, 
 That the SEAPOYS might catch them and fo break 
 
 " their fall ; 
 " That their views and intentions were but to efcape 
 " The danger of HASTINGS committing a Rape; 
 " The BEGUMS themfelves, were afraid left his plea- 
 
 fures, 
 " Should extend to their Perfons, as well as their Trea- 
 
 fures 
 
 " How licentious, how wicked, how bafe are the men, 
 " Who would ravifh old women of threefcore and ten ! 
 Oh! Great GOD of Juflce ! Can'ft thou think it fit- 
 
 tin g> 
 
 " To look down from thy Throne, while fuch Rapes arc 
 " committing ? 
 
 Why
 
 C 9 ] 
 
 " Why delay then to fix fome perpetual mark, 
 
 " At once to difable this infamous Spark ; 
 
 " Who fet off from CALCUTTA, determined to rob 
 
 " Some fat ZEMINDAR, or fome 'wealthy NABOB. 
 
 " No prey found this Tyger in reach of his fpring, 
 
 " Save the BEGUMS of Oude, and the Rajah Cheyt Sing. 
 
 " Like a Robber, whofe choice is reftridled to two, 
 
 " No place, except Eagfljot and Hounjlow, will do. 
 
 " I have prov'd that the Prifoner is all over guilt ; 
 
 " That hogfheads of innocent blood he has fplit ; 
 
 " I have prov'd he was guilty, of Fraud and Abufe, 
 
 " Arid Robbery too, for the Company's ufe 
 
 "Then by our RELIGION, which he has difgrac'd ; 
 
 " By our CONSTITUTION, which he has defac'd ; 
 
 " By Nature's beft rights, I your Lordfhips invoke, 
 
 *' Thofe rights to whofe heart he has given a POKE 
 
 " By the Chaftity pure of the BEGUMS of Oude / 
 
 " By millions of dead men, now crying aloud ; 
 
 ' Thofe dead men, whofe deaths all to murder were 
 
 " owing, 
 
 " Whilft tears from their wives were in rivulets flowing : 
 " By thofe poor diftreft damfels, who fra&ur'd their 
 
 " bones, 
 
 " By haftily throwing their bodies on ftones 
 
 "Ye BISHOPS! ARCHBISHOPS! a fantified band! 
 " Who all holy myfteries well underftand ! 
 
 B " Ye
 
 [ io J 
 
 rt Ye Judges of England, of wildom profound, 
 
 " Who can find out the Law, and can lofe it when 
 
 " found : 
 
 " Ye Nobles, in ermine, fo fpotlefs a train, 
 " Whofe Honour can fuffer by no blot or ilain -, 
 " Ye ROYAL YOUNG PRINCES for Chaftity fani'd, 
 " For clear underftandings, which need not be nam'd 
 " To you, all Indoflan looks up for relief, 
 u And Vengeance demands on that Robber and Thief! 
 " Unlefs by your juiiice his blood fhall be fpilt, 
 " The World will affirm you partake of his guilt -,, 
 " Shed his blood then, I fay ! No, the hanging- of cnc y 
 " For the Slaughter of MIL LIONS, can never atone. 
 " He ought to be tortur'd with racks, g/ipes, and pin- 
 
 " ches, 
 
 " Be dying for years he fhould perifh by inches ! 
 " And. when from his body his fpirit (hall fever, 
 H He ought to be damn'd to damnation for ever ! ! !" 
 
 Such horrors prefented themfelves to his view, 
 That SHERRY took fright at the picture he drew; 
 H? .had fpmething, 'twas thought, ftill more horrid to 
 
 fay, 
 
 When his tongue loft its power, and he fainted away. 
 Some fey, 'twas his Confcience that gave him a ftroke, 
 But thofe who beft know him, treat that as a joke ; 
 
 Tis
 
 'Tis a trick, which Sfage Orators ufe in their need, 
 
 The Paflions to raife, and the Judgment miflead 
 
 When FRANCIS beheld his friend SHERIDAN drop, 
 He fprung twenty feet at two fteps and a hop ; 
 Aflcifcetida Drops y he applied to the nofe 
 Of his friend, who recovered his ftren^th, and arofe 
 But THURLOW, long filent, now thought it his turn 
 To fpeak tq the Court, fo he moved to ADJOURN. 
 
 Yours, &r. 
 
 B 2 LETTER
 
 LETTER II. 
 
 FROM 
 
 S1MPKIN THE SECOND 
 
 TO HIS 
 
 DEAR BROTHER IN WALES. 
 
 DEAR BROTHER, 
 
 1 OU aflc, why was FR s dhlreft ? 
 
 "Why he fear'd for the Caufefo much more than the reft ? 
 
 To anfwer this queftion as well I can, 
 
 I muft give you a Sketch of this wonderful Man : 
 
 Some certain things rife from the dark, 
 
 Our HERO ftarted firft a Clerk 
 
 In Office, that was dill Imprefling 
 On tender youth thb ufeful LefTon; 
 
 Thofe
 
 t 13 ] 
 
 Thole that would thrive, mud learn to cringe, 
 " To turn like door upon a hinge;" 
 To flatter thofe that favour fhew yej 
 To fpurn at thofe that are below ye ; 
 
 FR s by aciing well this part, 
 
 Completely won his Patron's heart ; 
 "Who made him, by a fudden fpring, 
 The FIFTH PART of a Potent King;* 
 That is, he was to Bengal fent, 
 
 The under limb of Government. 
 
 Let yonder Beggar mount a Horfe, 
 
 The Proverb tells " which way his courfe;" 
 
 So FR s, who had been a Hack 
 
 Of Ofnce, 'midft a fervile Pack, 
 
 Saw thoufands tremble at his nod, 
 
 And like another PHILIP'/ So>i } became a God. 
 
 Great his wealth had been indeed,- 
 
 If HASTINGS had not check'd his fpeed, 
 
 And to his profpecls put an end, 
 
 By calling from LUCKNOW his Friend. 
 
 This FR' s never can forgive, 
 
 As long as he and HASTINGS live; 
 And from that time has been purfuing 
 Means to effect his total ruin ; 
 
 # FRA NCIS'S definition of himfelf, jnd his Power, to the Peo- 
 ple in India* 
 
 But
 
 [ 14 ] 
 
 But fruitlefs finding OPPOSITION, 
 He forrn'd like feme a COALITION; 
 But Coalitions ftill muft fall, 
 One certain fate o'ertakes them all. 
 
 Tho' his a novel kind of plan 
 
 To join, and then betray the Man; 
 But HASTINGS' Genius was awake, 
 And ere he ftung, it fcorch'd the Snake. 
 This to the fire but added fuel, 
 
 Until it ended in a Duel. 
 
 When FR s faw his fchemes all fail, 
 
 For England's fhore he fpread his fail. 
 
 No fooner on fhore had our PHILL fet his feet, 
 
 Than he drove, like a Poft-boy, to LE A D E N H A L L-s T RE E T ; 
 
 In the flames of his Malice, he burnt to difclofe 
 
 A Tale, which had coft him fome years to compofe ; 
 
 But he got a rebuff from the COURT of DIRECTORS ; 
 
 They were HAS TIN GS'S Friends ; they were Virtues 
 
 PROTECTORS ; 
 
 They paid juft regard to their Honor and Glory ; 
 They read not PH ILL'S Papers ; they heard not PHILL'S 
 
 Story. 
 Tho' like Light'ning to ENGLAND from India he came, 
 
 /// fpeed he was greatly furpafs'd by his FAME ; 
 
 
 They
 
 C 15 J 
 
 They knew how the meafures of HASTINGS he croft, 
 How near his advice COROMANDEL had loft ; 
 By the Court of Directors, it clearly was feen, 
 That the Man was a compound of Envy and Spleen 
 
 Then away to the Mongers of Boroughs went he, 
 To try, if with fome one he could not agree 
 And find a fit corner for once to his ufe, 
 For Jpeech unrejlraind, . and for licenfd abufe* 
 
 But when he found out each abufive Oration 
 Could produce no effecT: on a fenfible Nation, 
 His attention was turn'd to the Quixote-like BURKE,. 
 Who is fond of engaging in Quixote-like Work , 
 He told him long Stories " of Damfels diftrefs'd," 
 " Of extirpated Nations, of RAJAHS opprefs'dj" 
 Of HASTINGS'S having compell'd the NABOB, 
 
 His Kindred, his Mother, Grandmother, to rob. 
 
 Shall the eloquent BURKE, who by pleading the caufe, 
 Of Powell and Bembridge, gain'd lafling applaufe ; 
 Shall the Man, who to Wretches like thefe was a friend, 
 The Rights of Old Damfels refufe to defend ? 
 Oh ! let not the Children of ASIA befeech 
 Thy mercy in vain ; but the Tyrant Impeach ,- 
 I myfelf will 'find Matter, do thou -furmjb Speech. 
 
 Thea.
 
 [ i6 ] 
 
 Then away pofted BURKE to hisCHARLEY and SHERRY, 
 Who were toping at BROOKES'S, pot-valiant and merry ! 
 " I have fomething, ray BOYS, upon which we may 
 
 prate, 
 Tis time we mould Spout, left we grow out of date ; 
 
 Againft a NABOB I am furnifh'd with matter 
 
 Wlien matter is found, we can all of us chatter; 
 
 WARREN HASTINGS is he, you remember, his friends 
 
 Difappointed us lately, in gaining our ends. 
 
 That Stock-holding-Crenv, the late change brought about 
 
 In Adminiftration, and turn'd us all out : 
 
 Let us try, in our turn, if we can't over-reach him, 
 
 Then HILLOA, Brave Boys, let us on and Impeach 
 
 him ! 
 
 Perhaps the rich Rogue, when he finds himfelf under 
 Our lam, may prefent us fome part of the Plunder. 
 Then CHARLEY, who found himfelf not in a cue, 
 So wild, fo romantic a fcheme to purfue; 
 Who found by a Balance, juft made of his Books, 
 Himfelf better paid, by attending at BROOKES'; 
 Requefted, that BURKE would be pleas'd to defift 
 From the bufinefs, or ftrike his Name out of the Lift. 
 And SHERRY, who now holds Theatrical Stuff, 
 Declar'd on the Stage, " there was aftlng enough." 
 And begg'd, that if BURKE had this Farce at his heart, 
 He might be prevented from playing a part. 
 
 BURKE
 
 ran, I 
 
 tey can, > 
 
 an ! J 
 
 C i? 3 
 
 BURKE flatted, and fwore, if you do not think fit 
 To fupport me in this, /'// go over to PITT. * 
 Then Charles, who began to forefee the reduction 
 Of his force at St. Sttpbettsy might prove hi$ deftruc- 
 
 tion ; 
 
 Engag'd for himfelf, and the whole of his Party ; 
 Tho' fome people think CHARLES is not very hearty. 
 Three years have elaps'd fince the fuit they bega 
 They may work many mare, let them do all they 
 Before they will conquer this much-injured Man 
 You aflc'd me, what caufe had the Houfe to refift 
 
 Adding FR s's name to the Managers' Lift ? 
 
 Why, all moderate men to exclude him agreed, ~~\ 
 
 Tho' BURKE pledg'd his honour, he could not proceed > 
 
 Without F // aid, to fupport him in need. 
 
 Then, EDMUND ! thy zeal ftruck the guard from thy 
 
 tongue, 
 And betray'd the bafe fburee, whence thy Charges all 
 
 fprung, 
 
 Great part of the Houfe, which till then had believ'd 
 Thy ftory, now find themfelves grofsly deceiv'd -, 
 How many good men, now are griev'd to the heart, 
 To think they were talk'd into taking a part. 
 
 But F s triumphantly laughs in his fleeve, 
 
 To think he fo long could the public deceive. 
 
 C As
 
 [ 18- ] 
 
 As he walk'd along Bond-ftreet, he faid to a Friend, 
 " Tho' my Foe be acquitted, 'twill anfwer my end ; 
 " Oppreft with fatigue, and o'er-burthen'd with coft, 
 " His health will be broken, his fortune be loft ," 
 Then he fwore, by the Lord, he would not ceafe pur- 
 
 fuing, 
 
 Till Death and Damnation had finifh'd his ruin. 
 Tho' fo generous an Oath, he confefs'd, gave him pain, 
 To come from a bofcm fo kind and humane. 
 
 I conclude for the prefent : but if, my dear Brother, 
 You like this Epiftle, I'll fend you another; 
 And ground there will be, quite enough, to your forrow, 
 For SHERRY begins his Oration To-morrow 
 And Sums up the whole of the Charge as he goes : 
 Tho' amidft all " this fumming," juft under the 
 
 Rofe 
 Tis furprizing, he never fums up what he owes ! 
 
 Your.s, &c. 
 
 LETTER
 
 C '9 3 
 
 LETTER III. 
 
 FROM 
 
 SIMPKIN THE SECOND 
 
 TO HIS 
 
 DEAR BROTHER IN WALES. 
 
 THE IMPEACHMENT, 
 
 \ OU ASSURE me, Dear Brother, the comical Tales 
 I've related, amufe our Acquaintance in WALES j 
 You beg me, as SHERRY proceeds to Impeach, 
 To give you in Rhime the Contents of his Speech. 
 The Tafk is too hard for the Speech is fo fine, 
 It efcapes fuch a dull underftanding as mine. 
 Howe'er to oblige you as far as I can, 
 I'll begin an Oration as SHERRY began. 
 
 C 7, When
 
 [ 20 ] 
 
 When the LORDS were afTembled, and fet in their Places, 
 
 He rofe up, brim-full of Theatrical Graces : 
 
 " Permit me, my LORDS, ere I fpeak more at large, 
 
 " To difclaim every Motive for making this Charge. 
 
 f< Has the NABOB complain'd ? Is the Prifoner Accus'd 
 
 " At the fuit of thofe Ladies WE fay he Abus'd ? 
 
 " 'Tis the Caufe of Mankind, led by ED M u x D the brave, 
 
 *' His objeft is MAN, from Marts Bafeiiefs to fave. 
 
 " The MINISTER PITT, fays "theTreafury isdrain'd;" 
 
 if But all muft admit they are much entertain'd. 
 
 " However, I'd have it be well underflood, 
 
 " If we have any Motive, 'tis certainly good. 
 
 " My LORDS, you expect Proofs conclufive and ftrong; 
 
 " But in that expectation, your Lordlhips are wrong : 
 
 " From documents written, no proof can we draw, 
 
 " Nor can any one fwear to what nobody faiv. 
 
 " I'm not pleading excufe for our failing in Proof, 
 
 " For tho' we bring none, we can make out enough ; 
 
 " I mail make out enough from the Pris'ner's Defence, 
 
 " By giving my Meaning, and taking his Senfe. 
 
 " Tis faid, when the Houfe a Delinquent Impeaches, 
 
 " The MANAGERS fliould be correct in their Speeches: 
 
 " That is, they mould make a plain fimple Narration 
 
 " Of Facts, well attefted, without aggravation : 
 
 That Legal Chicanery mould not affift 
 
 " To give the Plain Senfe an Ligenhus Tiuift. 
 
 " But,
 
 E 21 ] 
 
 " But, my Lords, by your leave, the diftincUon I'll trace/ 
 
 <( Betwixt Mifdemeanor and Capital Cafe; 
 
 " For unlefs we were certain your LORDSHIPS would 
 
 " Hang him, 
 " The MANAGERS' Tongues claim a Licence to Bang 
 
 " him. 
 
 " The PRISONER, my LORDS, under various pretences, 
 " Has fet up at times a long firing of Defences : 
 " My LORDS, there ivas one to the COMMONS addrefs'd, 
 " But that to ycur Lordjhips is reckoned the bejt. 
 " It feems that the former was ha/lily penn'd 
 " By thofe that would do it Acquaintance or Friend : 
 " And as all common Men are but commonly wife, 
 " For the COMMONS, a common Defence would fuffice 
 " And finding our Charges divided and fplit, 
 " Each Journeyman took what die MASTER thought 
 
 fit. 
 
 " My Jkill in finance, Mr. SHORE, is your Lot : -\ 
 f( My Confiftence to prove, I rely upon SCOTT, 
 " And on MIDDLETON'S Memory, when I've forgot. ^ . 
 " He thought, as the COMMONS themfelves were de- 
 
 ' puted, 
 
 " Our Party, by Deputy, might be confuted; 
 " But now that your LORDSHIPS have call'd him before 
 
 " ye, 
 
 ", At your Bar it behoves him to tell his own Story, 
 
 But
 
 C 22 1 
 
 But, my LORDS, we object to this fhifting of ground 
 " For the Conduct of Journeymen, Mafters are bound. 
 " Would it not be, my LORDS, moft furprifing and 
 
 " ftrange, 
 
 " If EDMUND OUR CHIEF, his opinion Jhould change ? 
 " If having perfuaded the COMMONS to join 
 " In the Vote, he mould take up a different Line, 
 " And fay, " The Impeachment ivas YOURS, and not 
 
 MINE :" 
 
 That he ever was HASTINGS'S/>-/VW in his Heart, 
 Tho' compeird to accept of a MANAGER'S Part r" 
 
 While SHERRY was fpeaking, I could not conceive 
 Why the Lords and the Commons all laugh'd in their 
 
 Sleeve 5 
 Why BURKE fearM that SHERRY was out of his 
 
 Track, 
 
 Why Fox's fweet face look'd a little more black 
 But fince I have learnt, that the Picture he drew, 
 Was the likenefs offometbing that moft people knew 
 ThatBuRKE and CHARLES Fox had conjointly brought 
 
 forth 
 
 The very fame Arguments verfus LORD NORTH. 
 That CHARLES would not " truft his dear perfon a Mi- 
 nute" 
 
 Alone with LORD NORTH, fo much danger was in it. 
 
 And
 
 C *3 3 
 
 And BURKE, with Impeachments the Houfe to fupply, 
 Carry'd fome in his Pocket, " cut ready and dry." 
 I am told, it has long been his cuftom to take 'em 
 Wherever he goes, like a Prieft's " Vade Mecum." 
 St. STEPHEN'S refounded with SCAFFOLD and BLOCK, 
 NORTH fell from the Treafury Bench with a fhock. 
 " Throw a Bone to a Dog, and no longer he fnarls," 
 So NORTH threw a Bone out to EDMUND and CHAR- 
 LES; 
 
 That is, they determined, if PITT had not feen 'em, 
 To (hare all the Loaves and the Fijhes between 'em. 
 From that moment have CHARLEY and EDMUND agreed 
 That NORTH muft be honeft and noble indeed ! 
 BURKE fearches for elegant Phrafe to commend : 
 And CHARLES too is happy to call him his Friend. 
 
 As SHERRY in fpeaking is fond of Precifion, 
 
 He adopts the Theatrical mod$ of JDivi/ion : 
 
 That is, he arranges the flot and the Facls y 
 And the Play will confift of a Number of Acts. 
 ONE ACT was gone through when the Poil-bell was 
 
 ringing, 
 
 Which unluckily puts a full flop to my finging. 
 Howe'er, if this Letter can add to your pleafure, 
 I'll fend you another as foon as I've leifure. 
 
 LETTER
 
 LETTER IV 
 
 FROM 
 
 SIMP KIN THE SECOND 
 
 TO HIS 
 
 DEAR BROTHER IN WALES. 
 
 /\GAIN, my dear Brother, I take up the Quill, 
 My Debt to dlfcharge, and my promife fulfil. 
 Thus SHERRY began : " Now, my Lords, I proceed 
 " Some loofe and confus'd Affidavits to read : 
 " I'll allow to be true every word they contain ; 
 " But permit me their Meaning and Senfe to explain. 
 " My Lords, there was fwearing by Foot and Dragoons ; 
 " By Vollifs feme fwore, and fome fwore by Platoons ; 
 Thcfe Swearings, I call Sir ELIJAH'S Collection, 
 " Intended to prove a well known Infurreclion : 
 
 But,
 
 C 2$ ] 
 
 " But, my Lords, you {hall prefently fee me vi&ori- 
 
 " ous 
 
 " Over this Infurreftlon, however notorious; 
 After what I have faid, will the Counfel infift 
 " That any Rebellion did ever exift ? 
 ft This point being fettled : I now take my courfe 
 " To ASOPH UL DOWLAH'S Attendants andHorfe; 
 " That he had 2000, the Counfel contended, 
 But that's a pofition that can't be defended. 
 " My Lords, I infift that Two Hundred's the moft j 
 " The reft had deferted, were jaded, or loft : 
 " Befides, I requeft it may not be forgot 
 " The rate ASOPH travell'd, full gallop or tret; 
 " And 'twas right that the NABOB fhould travel incog, -y 
 " By poft or by Donlh, without Baggage or clog, / 
 " To fupprefs, like himfelf, a Rebellion incog. 
 " But I'll give them Two Thoufand, with Baryhoes and 
 
 Coolies, 
 
 " With Elephants, Camels, with Hackrees and Doolies ! 
 tc The Counfel fome proof have endeavoured to bring, 
 " That the BEGUMS lent aid to the RAJAH CHEYT 
 
 SING 
 
 " One Thoufand Negeels but I boldly avow 
 " They were Fellows with Matchlocks, detach'd from 
 
 LUCKNOW ; 
 
 D " But
 
 C 26 ] 
 
 But where ever they came from, I care not about 'em, 
 For your Lordfhips (hall fee, in five minutes 1*11 rou 
 
 'em. 
 
 " SADUT ALLY, they fay, in Confpiracy join'd, 
 " And I afk'd Sir ELIJAH', why HE was not fin'd ? 
 " Sir ELIJAH, my Lords, gave a very good reafon, 
 " The Man who is Poor, can't be guilty of Treafon. 
 " His fafety was then to Itifofoency due 
 An Axiom> I find y inconteftably true 
 " My Lords, I fliall prove this commotion and rifing 
 " "Was not of my Ladies the BEGUMS' devifing , 
 " And their Eunuchs^ poor creatures, fo gentle and 
 
 " mild! 
 
 " Are unable to injure Man, Woman, or Child 
 " Colonel HANNAY himfelf, I can prove, was the Man 
 " From whofe cruelties all the Difturbance began : 
 t( And this to eftablifh, no Witnefs I call, 
 " Save the elegant Letters of Nay/or and Hall. 
 The BEGUMS' Jaghire Major Naylor march'd thro/ 
 " 'Twixt the Goomty and Gagra his route to purfue ; 
 " \Vhere for fome little time his Battalions were halted, 
 " Some RAJAH to quell, who, he fays, had revolted. 
 " This Revolt, I prefume, muft have been a miflake, 
 " So I pafs over that, for his Memory's fake. 
 But when to the country of Hannay he came, 
 He found nothing elfe but combuilion and flame. 
 
 The
 
 C 27 ] 
 
 The Army of Rebels the Major o'crthrew; 
 " He frighted their Heroes; he wounded and flew. 
 '' Thefe poor dying Wretches, that made no refinance. 
 " He ofFer'd to cure : They refus'd his afliftance. 
 <s The Counfel may fay, 'tis from prejudice ftrong, 
 " Thofe Men their exiftence refus'd to prolong ; 
 " That a Foreigner's touch would a BRAMIN pollute; 
 " But Prejudice now 'tis my turn to difpute. 
 " Thefe Folks were from fuch foolifh prejudice free 
 < f They were Patriots, my Lords, of .the higheft degree : 
 " They died that their blood to their GODS might afcend t 
 ({ Who till now to their cries had not time to attend !" 
 
 Four hours and an half, ere he came to a clofe, 
 Did SHERRY declaim on fuch topics as thofe: 
 He ended at length, with a Compliment fine 
 To BURKE, whom he ftiled, " fomething more than 
 
 divine !" 
 
 For giving himfelf this occafion to fhine. 
 And BURKE, to whom nothing's more odious and hate- 
 
 ful, 
 
 Than the Man who for favour conferr'd is ungrateful, 
 Opportunity found, with large Lit reft to pay 
 The Compliments back, on the very fame day. 
 One Man had, it feems, the prefumption to (late, 
 The IMPEACHMENT Expence was enormoufly great: 
 D 2 When
 
 C 28 3 
 
 When BURKE, in a moment, fprung up in his place 
 
 And cry'd, as he ftar'd the Man full in the face, 
 
 " Such Jlinginefs, Sir, would a Nation dij 'grace ! 
 
 t{ After all the fine things we've heard SHERIDAN fay, 
 
 " He's a pitiful Wretch who refufes to pay : 
 
 Now that Genius has blinded our Eyes with its flafh, 
 
 <l Can we look on Accounts ? Can we fum up our Cam ? 
 
 " After foaring above all the Regions of Senfe, 
 
 " Can we tumble fo low as to think about Pence ? 
 
 " Has not SHERRY, this morning, expos'd to your view, 
 
 " All the beauties of Thefpis, and Cicero too ? 
 
 " To the BISHOPS, he gave an example of Preaching, 
 
 " To the COMMONS, a model of future Impeaching ; 
 
 " HISTORIANS, hereafter, mail copy his Diction,' 
 
 " And POETS themfelves may learn LeJJbns of FiElion t 
 
 " RHETORICIANS are taught the arrangements of 
 
 " Flowers, 
 
 " To the Bujkin and Sock he has given new powers: 
 " The PAINTERS may learn finer Pictures to draw, 
 " And the JUDGES new Modes of interpreting Law. 
 " From him may the ORATOR learn to prevail, 
 " L/ Action and Sound, when his Arguments fail : 
 The PHILOSOPHER too, may learn nature to fift j 
 " The Attorney, to cloak a bad Caufe with a Shift. 
 " Now fince every profeffion fome benefit draws 
 f? I can't think for a moment of Jlarving the Canfe!" 
 
 No
 
 E 29 3 
 
 No fooner was EDMUND fat down, than a 
 Arofe in his place, and beg'd leave to remark, 
 " That himfelf and fome others remember'd the day, 
 " When the MAN fvho fo freely votes Tkotifands aivayt 
 *' For hearing a Speech, or for feeing a Play, 
 " "Was once in His MAJESTY'S Kitchen fo fparing, 
 " As to limit the Cheefe t nay, to bit/band the paring!" 
 
 And now, my dear Er6ther y I lay down my Pen, 
 Which after next Tuefday I'll take up again. 
 
 LETTER
 
 LETTER V. 
 
 FROM 
 
 SIMP KIN THE SECOND 
 
 TO HIS 
 
 DEAR BROTHER IN WALES, 
 
 MR. SHERIDAN. THE THIRD DAT, 
 
 DEAR BROTHER, 
 
 W ERE it not that I fear you would deem it negleft. 
 Or accufe me, perhaps, of the want of refpeci ; 
 I would pafs o'er in filence the Speech of this day ; 
 For SIMPKIK, like SHERRY, wants fomething to fay. 
 The PEERESSES thought there would rife a new Sun, 
 And lhat fonner out-dcings, would now be out-done ! 
 
 At
 
 C 31 1 
 
 At Six in the morning, 'tis faid they arofe 
 
 By Eight drefs'd their heads, by Nine put on theis 
 
 clothes 
 
 By Ten took their places in high expedtation, 
 Of feeing this SHERIDAN Aci an Oration. 
 By half after Twelve, or at fartheft by One, 
 The PEERS were afTembled the PLAY was begun. 
 Two hours he harangued, but I little remember, 
 " Save IMPEY and DAVY, and nth of December' 3 
 He defcrib'd a circuitous firing of Suggeftions, 
 Ar-d put to the Counfel fome very clofe Queftions. 
 He knew he might fafely their anfwers defy, 
 Since the forms of the COURT would not let them reply. 
 As the Senfe of his Speech was but ill underflood 
 By myfelf, I conclude 'twas uncommonly good. 
 When his Genius inflammable rofe to its height, 
 Like LUNARDI'S Balloon, it efcap'd from our fight: 
 And as when fome Balloon at its equipoife pitch, 
 Lofes part of its air by the break of a Jlitch t 
 The high-flying HERO no remedy knows, 
 And the Car tumbles down with more fpeed than it 
 
 rofe : 
 
 So the high-flying SHERRY difcover'd at length, 
 That Orators may foar too high for their ftrength. 
 For jufl as his voice was rais'd up to its top, 
 The Court, with furprize, faw him fuddenly ftop. 
 
 Then
 
 Then ADAM ftep'd forward, and faid " that his friend, 
 
 Wasfeiz'd ivith a a trifling and therefore muft end" 
 
 This accident, Brother, muft greatly diminifh. 
 
 The length of my Letter; and here I mould finifh, 
 
 Were it not that I heard fome odd jocular Sparks 
 
 Converfmg together, and making remarks. 
 
 A Trifling! faid one, as he laugh'd very hearty, 
 
 Has long been the common Difeafe of the Party. 
 
 LORD , who is one of your old fafhion'd Peers, 
 
 That wants to find MEANING in all that he hears, 
 Said, " that our Orators nonv, were not fram'd to his 
 
 fade, 
 
 ff They carry no weight, they're conftructed in hafle ; 
 < f And like our Mail Coaches, that travel fo fail, 
 Cf Muft now and then get an unfortunate caft." 
 One Gentleman faid, xvhere he reafons on fads, 
 Yve find SHERRY dull j but whenever he acJs t 
 ct In five minutes time* he difplays to our view, 
 f The Tragic, the Comic, the Pantomime too :'* 
 He added, that all the Great Men of our Nation, 
 Would adopt a new Plan for their Sons' Education ; 
 They find it now ufelefs to lay in a flock 
 Of Logic, by reading fuch Authors as LOCKE ; 
 They find graceful Action and elegant Dicllon, 
 \ lore pov.-erful than Reafon to carry Conviction : 
 "So a new fet of Tutors they mean to engage 
 v-ry bed Alors they find on the Stage ; 
 
 Some
 
 [ 33 ] 
 
 Some Mqfter, like SID DONS, whofe Pathos excels 
 Orwhofe Leffons (hall imitate Nature like WELLS. 
 And the Lawyers, it feems, who attend the King's 
 
 Courts, 
 
 No longer will trouble themfelves with Reports. 
 The Student finds COKE upon LYTTLETON, dry, 
 And with John/on and Shakefpeare his place will fupply ; 
 In fhort, the Old ORATOR'S* anfwer is true 
 " That AElion, and nothing but ACTION, will do !" 
 Here then I conclude, and ihall filent remain, 
 Till SHERRY begins his Oration again. 
 
 * Alluding to the Philofopher, who being aflced what was the 
 fir-it qualification of an Orator, anfvvered, Aftion ; what the fe- 
 cond, Aflion', what the third, Afiion; meaning thereby, that 
 Action was enough for an Orator. 
 
 LETTER
 
 C 34 
 
 LETTER VI, 
 
 FROM 
 
 SIMP KIN THE SECOND 
 
 TO HIS 
 
 DEAR BROTHER IN WALES. 
 
 MR. SHERIDAN. THE FOURTH DAT. 
 
 DEAR BROTHER, at laft I've the Pleafure to fay, 
 
 That the Orator clos'd his Oration this day. 
 
 Tho' EDMUND bis Chief y who fuppofes the ftrength 
 
 And efFeft 'of a fpeech correfpond with its length, 
 
 In a whifper obferv'd Now you may find yourfelf 
 
 ftronger, 
 " You might as well fpeak for a week or two longer" 
 
 Thus
 
 C 35 1 
 
 Thus SHERRY began: " Much indebted I own 
 " Myfelf to this COURT, for the favour they've (hewn; 
 " My LORDS, you'll excufe my again going o'er 
 " The ground I have traversal fo often before ; 
 < c Your Lordfhips remember I left oft with reading 
 " The Narrative Part and I now am proceeding 
 " To bring from behind the thick miil of Confufion 
 " A fraudulent FriendJIrip, and friendly Collufton-. 
 " Thefe things came to light from the reading a 
 
 " Letter 
 
 " A private Epljlle^ and fo much the better 
 " When in private and public we find contradiction, 
 " That Letter which tends to the Prifoner's conviftion 
 u That Letter alone we bring forward to view 
 " Convinc'd that none elfe can be poffibly true. 
 " The Prifoner, it feems, thought it matter, of wonder 
 That MIDDLETON gave him no part of the Plunder ; 
 " That the difference 'twixt him and his Agent was 
 
 " wider 
 
 <f Than that between LION and Lion's Provider; 
 " That at leaft it became an obedient Jackal 
 " To remember the Liorr y and not fwallow all. 
 " My Lord, tho' we make out no po/itive Proof 
 " That thefe \vere his thoughts, we've fufpicion enough ; 
 " And I truft that this Court will give ready admiflion, 
 " In failure of Proofs, to ASSERTED SUSPICION. 
 
 E 2 My
 
 My Lords, there have been many Letters fuppreft, 
 Some made for the purpofe, and fome better dreft. 
 " There was one from the NABOB, by which it 
 
 " appears 
 
 {f He wifli'd not to take the Bow BEGUM'/ Javhircs. 
 " Thefe PRINCESSES had (what our Ladies would 
 
 think' 
 
 " Not uncommon) a ivhim for good victuals and drink 
 " Too long in the habit of cutting and carving, 
 " To relifh the Fafhion of pinching and ftarving. 
 " Now the Prifoner, who wickedly wanted to force 
 " Thofe Ladies to follow fome defperate courfe, 
 " Thought nothing fo likely to ftir up a riot, 
 " As to weaken their Tea, or to alter their Diet. 
 " Not all the tyrannical acls of paft Ages, 
 " Not TACITUS ; No ! not the luminous Pages 
 " Of GIB ON himfelfy can an inftance produce 
 <c Of Authority turn'd to fo wicked a ufe j 
 " No fuch cruelty ever was exercifed in 
 " This World, fmce the days of ORIGINAL SIN ' 
 (t As to force an affectionate dutiful Son 
 " To act by his Mother as ASOPH has done. 
 " He forgot in our SHAKESPEARE that precept 
 
 " Divine, 
 Let thy Mind be untainted, and nothing defign 
 
 dgainfl
 
 [ 37 ] 
 
 " Againft thy Dear Mother!" No, this lie forgot ; 
 ' Or if he remember'd, he minded it not. 
 " Twas hoped that the BEGUMS would openly rife, 
 " And aflemble a Hoil by die Sound of their cries ; 
 " That HASTINGS might find fome excufe for the 
 
 " meafure 
 
 " Ke meant to adopt with refpedt to their Treafure. 
 " But the BEGUMS, my Lords, tho' of millions bereft, 
 ** Could live pretty ivell upon that which tuas left; 
 " They are flricken in years, they are gentle' and meek ; 
 *' No refentment they feel, and no vengeance they feek. 
 f( E'en now that ourfelves with fuch zeal are purfuing 
 " This Man, THEY would weep if they heard of his 
 
 " ruin. 
 " 'Twas expedient, my Lords, that thefe Dames fhou'd 
 
 " rebel, 
 
 " Or be thought fo at leaft, which would anfwer as well. 
 " So IMPEY fet ofF, and collected a pack 
 * f Of ftrange Affidavits^ fome white and fome 
 " And return'd with a budget brim full in a crack. 
 " One day, the CHIEF JUSTICE was travelling pofl 
 " The next at LUCK NOV.-, when, like Old HAMLET'S 
 
 Ghoft, 
 if Siuear ! Swtar ! you mufl Sviear .' vas Old TR u E- 
 
 " PENNY'S cry, 
 
 " To thofe who flood near, and to thofe that pafs'd by." 
 
 "My 
 
 358686 
 
 black, ( 
 :rack. j
 
 C 38 3 
 
 My Lords, this great Man, in aflefling the rate 
 Of Crimes, had an eye to the wants of the State: 
 " JUSTINIAN ancl TIMUR. he treated as fools, 
 " And was guided by COCKER'/ Numerical Rules. 
 t( Ye GUARDIANS of Jujlice, to you I appeal 
 <f Shall Private give way to the General Weal ? 
 " Te PRELATES, to whom our Religion belongs, 
 " Our Country to fave may we do private wrongs ? 
 " To decide on this Qiieftion, my Lords, is your lot, 
 " Whether HASTINGS'S conduct was ufeful or not? 
 <{ Let the TRUTH ^APPEAR, and the Battle is won, 
 " The Verdict is ours! Now, my LORDS, I have 
 " done!" 
 
 The Gallery folk, who, mifled hy the fport, 
 Conceived 'twas a Play-Houfe injlea$ of a COURT ; 
 And thinking the Actor uncommonly good, 
 They CLAP'D, and cry'd " BRAVO !" as loud as they 
 
 could. 
 
 Then EDMUND gave SHERRY a hearty embrace, 
 And cry'd, as he fputter'd all over his face, 
 At Supper this night thou JJjalt have ihc FIRST 
 " PLACE !" 
 
 On thy Leader's right hand be thy dignify'd feat; 
 Fat Beef and fat Mutton mall garnifli thy Plate , 
 
 And 
 
 1
 
 C 39 ] 
 
 And when thou haft fupp'd, to enliven the foul, 
 Shall Claret and Burgundy fill up thy Bowl! 
 The HEROES, who long and fuccefsfully fight, 
 From the Edicls of HOMER eftablifh a right 
 To enjoy die rich Feaft with BRISEIS at night. 
 
 And now, till the Court ihall think fit to renew 
 The Trial, Dear BROTHER, I bid you adieu. 
 
 LETTER
 
 BROTHER SIMON IN WALES 
 
 SIMPKIN THE SECOND IN LONDON. 
 
 F OR GIVE me, Dear Sim, if I'm not deeply fmitten, 
 With your half dozen Letters fo fluently written ; 
 And fmce, after SHERIDAN'S heart-ftirring fummons, 
 A paufe is judg'd prudent by LORDS as by COMMONS j 
 And leifure may leave you to liften inclin'd, 
 I embrace a fit moment to tell you my mind. 
 
 Methinks, Brother Sim, your adventure was bold, 
 When you ftep'd forth an ape of your Namefake of old : 
 That Simpkin fo pleafant, whofe well-mingled fatire, 
 Ow'd no poifon to Party, no gall to ill-nature ; 
 From Talents and Virtue withholding his fneer, 
 At Folly He laugh'd, and the laugh was fincere : 
 In Vanity's Vortex his models he chofe, 
 And Coxcombs, and Pedants alone were his foes. 
 
 But you, my Dear Brother, with feelings more nice, 
 
 Find ridicule lurking in horror of Vice ; 
 
 And
 
 C 41 ] 
 
 And efforts of Genius acute and renn'd, 
 That honour our Country, our Age and Mankind, 
 Deform'd in your Verfe, take a farcical mein, 
 Where Pleafantry check'd, wears the features of Spleen : 
 Too angry for Humour, for Cenfure tot) gay, 
 Your Irony dies in plain ftory away. 
 And, while we lament that your Arrows are fliot, 
 Where Envy and Party in vain feek a blot, 
 We cannot avoid, Brother Simpkin, be fure, 
 SufpecSting your motives may not be quite pure. 
 And thus, when you tell us you're glad to the heart, 
 " *That the ORATOR SHERRY has finijtid his part " 
 When you fay l( that fame Letters are meant for CQ^- 
 
 VICTION," 
 
 We own that you there drop the language of FiElion. 
 Beware, Brother Simpkin, this Painter fublime, 
 Who has lately engrofs'd your befpattering Rhyme, 
 In a playful effufion of Fancy has {hewn, 
 A PORTRAIT that fome may miftake for your own j 
 A Plagiary Author, Retailer of Scraps, 
 Purloin'd from a Brother from ANSTEY perhaps: 
 All Candour without, but all Envy within, 
 A Smile ill concealing the horrible grin ; 
 
 # Vide Simpkin's 6th Letter. 
 
 F Who
 
 C 4* ] 
 
 Who fain would be witty and archly fevere, 
 
 While from eyes fwoln with rage, gulhes forth the 
 
 hot tear. 
 
 The Picture in PARSONS yet gladdens the fcene, 
 Nor need I repeat, 'tis SIR FRETFUL I mean. 
 
 Then warn'd, My Dear Brother, with SHERRY 
 
 have done, 
 
 Nor hang up your Blanket 'twixt us and the Sun j 
 for lo ! through the pores of your thread-bare defign, 
 They rays of the God more refplendently fliine. 
 
 SIMP KIN
 
 C 43 ] 
 
 SIMPKIN THE SECOND 
 
 NOTICING SIMON. 
 
 Soi 
 
 >ME fellow, Dear Brother, afluming your Name, 
 My Letters to you has thought proper to blame ; 
 His Cenfure's convey'd in a diflbnant Chime, 
 With one Line for Senfe, and another for Rhyme! 
 He talks about, " SHERIDAN'S Heart- flirring Summons" 
 For no other ufe but to jingle with Commons; 
 Then he fpeaks of " Old SIMPKIN, whofe well-min- 
 
 glad fatire 
 
 ' Ow'd no Poifon to Party, no Gall to Ill-nature." 
 Such uncouth ideas in every line 
 Prove clearly, the Writer's no Brother of mine. 
 He tells me, forfooth, " that he's not deeply fmitten 
 " With my half dozen Letters fo fluently written :" 
 Were he not below notice, fome Lines I would write 
 
 him, 
 
 That, if he can feel, mould effectually fmite him. 
 One moment he thinks, and the next he is fure, 
 That " my motive for writting is not very pure." 
 If SIMPKIN the Second he really knew, 
 He would own, with a bluih, his Sufpidcn untrue. 
 
 F 2 By
 
 [ 44 ] 
 
 By his boldly obtruding Stifpicion for KNOWLEDGE, 
 One would think him a Student O/"SHERIDAN'S College ; 
 But when I confider how feeble his Pen, 
 SHERRY never could own him as one of his Men. 
 Once more then, Dear Brother, I bid you adieu, 
 And will write nothing more till requefied by you. 
 
 /VS. As to SHERRY himfelf juft to fill up the void, 
 In fupprejjlng all Theatres, now he's employ'd ; 
 And having in ACTING accomplim'd fome Fame, 
 He's preventing all others from doing the fame. 
 For that excellent Maxim has ne'er met his eye, 
 " Do to others, good Man, as you would be done by" 
 
 T H 
 
 '
 
 C 45 3 
 
 T H n 
 REAL SIMOM IN WALES 
 
 T O 
 
 SIMPKIN THE SECOND IN LONDON, 
 
 lYlY dear Brother SIMPKIN, with heartfelt concern, 
 From reading The WORLD of loft Monday, I learn, 
 That fome impudent Knave had the .boldnefs to fend you 
 Some Lines in my Name, with a view to offend you. 
 The Work I difclaim, and 'tis my refolution, 
 If I find out the Rogue, to commence Profecution. 
 No, BROTHER, your Letters muft always delight us, 
 And we hope you will ever continue to write us. 
 When the Simpleton call'd you " Retailer of Scraps," 
 One would think that he meant to give SHERIDAN 
 
 Slaps : 
 
 Of Novelty carelefs, you only profefs 
 To give SHERIDAN'.? Speech a Poetical Drefs. 
 
 Sir
 
 f* ] 
 
 Sir LAWRENCE LLEWELLYN, return'd to his Scat, 
 Laft night gave his Friends, the Electors, a Treat ; 
 Sir LAWRENCE, you know, is a Man of high breeding, 
 Ami exceiTively fond of Theatrical Reading; 
 He faid, "SHERRY'/ Speech was an excellent Piece 
 Of Patch Worky with Shreds brought from ROME and 
 
 from GREECE ; 
 
 But fhould Poets and Orators try him for Theft 
 Like the jackdaw of old, would a Feather be left ?" 
 Sir LAWRENCE obferv'd, 'twas exceedingly odd, 
 To Iiear of an Actor becoming a God. 
 But he thinks this new GOD, fhould in gratitude fofter 
 
 f'pport his Creator this SIMON Impoflor. 
 Sir LAWRENCE confiderd the Scribbler's obtrufion 
 Of Sir FRETFUL, a very unhappy allufion. 
 Now, I bid you farewell, till the PARLIAMENT ends, 
 When, I hope 1\I . his Friends. 
 
 FINIS.
 
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