THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 TEN PLAYS
 
 BY DAVID PINSKI 
 THREE PLAYS 
 
 $1.50 
 
 THE TREASURE 
 
 A DRAMA IN FOUR Acre 
 
 $1.25 
 NEW YORK: B. W. HUEBSCH
 
 DAVID PINSKI 
 
 TEN PLAYS 
 
 translated from the Yiddish by 
 ISAAC GOLDBERG 
 
 NEW YOEK 
 
 B. W. HUEBSCH 
 
 MCMXX
 
 COPYRIGHT, 1920 
 BY B. W. HUEBSCH
 
 7J 
 
 The original translation of " A Dollar " was made 
 by Mr. Joseph Michael and of " Diplomacy " by Mr. 
 Harry Birnbaum. These have been revised by Dr. 
 Isaac Goldberg who translated the other eight plays. 
 
 Some of the plays first appeared in the New York 
 Tribune and Boston Evening Transcript and two 
 were included in a volume issued by John W. Luce & 
 Co., to all of whom the author and publisher make due 
 acknowledgment. 
 
 772538
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 1 
 
 THE GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 35 
 
 A DOLLAR 49 
 
 THE CRIPPLES 73 
 
 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 85 
 
 DIPLOMACY 109 
 
 LITTLE HEROES 133 
 
 THE BEAUTIFUL NUN 147 
 
 POLAND 1919 159 
 
 THE STRANGER 171
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 A Comedy
 
 PERSONS 
 
 NAHMEN RISKIN. 
 
 LIB BE, his wife. 
 
 His PARENTS. 
 
 His FATHER-IN-LAW AND MOTHER-IN-LAW. 
 
 Two BROTHERS. 
 
 THREE BROTHERS-IN-LAW. 
 
 SISTERS, SISTERS-IN-LAW, AUNTS, and so on. 
 
 THE RABBI. 
 
 His WIFE. 
 
 THE WEALTHY MERCHANT. 
 
 His WIFE. 
 
 THE CANTOR. 
 
 His WIFE. 
 
 THE THIEF. 
 
 THE INFORMER. 
 
 THE TOWN IDIOT. 
 
 The action takes place in a remote Russo-Yiddish 
 town, where the Jews lived upon wind and miracles.
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 THE SCENE : A large room in the home of NAHMEN 
 RISKIN. To the right, a door leading to the other 
 rooms; to the left, the exit door; at the rear, two 
 windows facing the street. In the middle of the 
 room, a round table upon which there now re- 
 poses the phonograph, while overhead burns a 
 hanging lamp. In the right foreground, a bureau; 
 behind it, a closet; between the windows, a lounge; 
 all manner of chairs and benches are placed in 
 disarray; the room is packed with people. Some 
 chairs hold two occupants; the benches creak un- 
 der their excessive burden; even the bureau serves 
 as a seat for some spectators; agamst the window- 
 panes curious faces are pressed, for a crowd has 
 gathered outside. 
 
 NAHMEN RISKIN (in high feather, merrily relat- 
 ing something in the voice and manner of one who 
 feels that he is the hero of the day and the center of 
 universal admiration). . . . So, as usual in Amer- 
 ica, they told me to become a tailor, like the rest of 
 them. But just to spite them all, I said to myself: 
 " No, you'll become no tailor. You've never held 
 a needle in your fingers and you're not going to begin 
 now, even if the world should turn upside down." 
 
 3
 
 4 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 LIBBE (with disdain). A tailor! Humph! The 
 crazy notion ! 
 
 NAHMEN. So I threw myself into many things, 
 sniffed and licked at this and that, American busi- 
 ness. . . . And once I happened to be sitting with 
 our Brokhe just as now, on a Saturday evening, 
 and she has a*" phonograph, and the phonograph 
 played, and suddenly I was struck by an idea. 
 " You blockhead, you ! Here you have a golden busi- 
 ness ! Why should you have to knock about Amer- 
 ica with a thousand trades and never a blessing? 
 Rather buy yourself such a hurdy-gurdy, take it 
 back home with you and you've got a business from 
 businessland. 
 
 THE MOTHER. God's hand! To think that he 
 should sail to America, and there should live our 
 Brokhe, and she should have such . machine, and the 
 machine should play, and he should be struck by the 
 idea. . . . Ah, Lord of the universe, what a God 
 we have in heaven ! 
 
 LIBBE. We needed some recompense, indeed, for 
 all the troubles we have gone through. 
 
 FATHER-IN-LAW. Well, and when the idea struck 
 
 you 
 
 MOTHER-IN-LAW. Can't you see? So he went 
 and bought one. 
 
 NAHMEN. When the idea struck me I told no 
 tales, but went off and bought a hurdy-gurdy and 
 went to my people and said : " I'm going back 
 home!" "How? What? What do you mean?" 
 " Just what I say ! Everybody comes to America
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 5 
 
 to make money, and I intend to return home to make 
 money." So they all looked at me and laughed. 
 " How do you expect to return home and make money, 
 when you've come from there because you never were 
 able to make ends meet ? " And they began to tell 
 what I was in the old country, that all I was good 
 for was to poke around with my cane and play 
 chess and not know what to do with myself. So I 
 laughed. " You'll soon be hearing big things of 
 me," I told them. " You'll get the big news. All 
 I needed was to make a short visit to America and 
 catch on to the business methods. . . . 
 
 THE FATHER. Didn't you tell them anything 
 about the machine? 
 
 NAHMEN. Do you take me for a fool? Do you 
 think I was going to tell them, and have somebody 
 rob me of my idea? 
 
 A SISTER. Were you afraid of Brokhe? 
 
 NAHMEN. If I told it to her, she'd tell it to some- 
 body else, and somebody else would. . . . 
 
 MOTHER-IN-LAW. You acted very wisely. 
 
 LIBBE. Thank God. There are plenty of envious 
 souls. 
 
 NAHMEN. And besides that, I had to be doubly 
 careful. I had no government passport, so I had 
 to steal across the border. . . . 
 
 A BROTHER-IN-LAW. And did you really steal 
 across the border? 
 
 NAHMEN. Did I ! It would take a thousand and 
 one nights to tell the full story. What I had to 
 suffer! Ah! It was hard enough at the time I
 
 6 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 went to America. On the way back it was a thou- 
 sand times harder. A positive danger to life and 
 limb. I was sure that I was going to lose both my 
 phonograph and my life. But when a fellow carries 
 a smart head on his shoulders, and do r 't 167V"his 
 head, then everything is all right. . . . 
 
 AN UNCLE. How much does such a machine cost? 
 
 NAHMEN. It costs a pretty sum of dollars. 
 Would to God you earned it every week, or even 
 every month. 
 
 A SECOND UNCLE. Won't you have the kind- 
 ness to let us hear another selection of that sweet 
 synagogue music? 
 
 NAHMEN. You'll hear it, in time. Too much is 
 forbidden. The rabbi will soon come, and the mer- 
 chant, and the cantor. Then you'll hear it. They 
 ought to be here already. (To those who are sitting 
 upon the lounge.) You will please leave the lounge 
 when they arrive. Altogether, we'll have to have 
 more room here. You can stand in the other rooms. 
 
 A SISTER (entreatmgly) . Let "it" sing the 
 same once again. 
 
 NAHMEN. No-o-o. The first time, as a gift ; the 
 second time, you must pay. 
 
 A BROTHER. Surely you'll ask no money of us? 
 
 NAHMEN. Certainly, of father and mother, 
 father-in-law and mother-in-law. . . . 
 
 MOTHER-IN-LAW (offended). I might have ex- 
 pected you to ask me to pay. 
 
 NAHMEN. Everybody must pay. That's busi- 
 ness. Do you understand? Business. And in busi-
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 7 
 
 ness there is no friendship. If I were to open a 
 tavern would you expect me to give you free brandy ? 
 And if I were to open a grocery would you expect 
 mr *<> gi" ^ you everything for nothing? 
 
 V SISTE IN-LAW. There's a comparison for you. 
 If we hear your music, does that mean that we'll use 
 up your machine? 
 
 NAHMEN. What do you think, then? Certainly 
 you would use it up. As it turns and turns around 
 it uses up. And besides, this very listening you do, 
 is my business. You pay for hearing. 
 
 THE MOTHER-IN-LAW. Why should you play 
 anything for the merchant without asking pay? 
 
 NAHMEN. Well, you see, he's a guest. And the 
 rabbi will be here, as well as the cantor. And how 
 much, do you think, am I going to play for him? 
 One piece, another piece, and it's all over. And if 
 he wishes some more, then he'll have to be so kind 
 as to pay for it. And the rabbi, too, and the cantor 
 likewise. 
 
 THE MOTHER. What did you expect? That he 
 shouldn't play for the rabbi and the merchant at 
 all? It's such an honor. 
 
 NAHMEN. Never mind the honor. I've been to 
 America, remember. And over there they laugh at 
 such matters. No matter how wealthy a man may 
 be, and no matter how learned the rabbi may be, 
 it makes no difference. But I'll tell the truth. I 
 was anxious for the merchant to come so that he'd 
 burst with envy. What do you think, that his 
 businesses are any better than mine?
 
 8 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 LIBBE (with a sudden outcry). Oh, look who 
 has come in! (All eyes are focussed upon the door- 
 way. ) 
 
 THE THIEF (stands upon the threshold with a 
 smile that reaches from ear to ear.) 
 
 VOICES (in fright}. The thief! The thief! 
 (The persons seated around the table jump to their 
 feet and conceal the phonograph from the intrud- 
 er's sight.) 
 
 THE THIEF. Aren't you ashamed to call a man 
 a thief before his very face? So inconsiderate of 
 you! I might take offence, ha-ha-ha! And why 
 did you get so scared? I'm not going to steal your 
 pretty little American from you. (Steps into the 
 room. The guests recoil and open up passage for 
 him.) 
 
 THE MOTHER. May your hands wither if you 
 dare to lay them upon the little American. If you 
 come a step nearer, I'll scratch your eyes out for 
 you. 
 
 THE THIEF. Hush, sh. . . . I'm not stealing 
 anything. 
 
 VOICES. Really. . . . That's so. ... Why in- 
 sult him? . . . He's not stealing anything. . . . 
 
 NAHMEN (recovers from his fright, and suddenly 
 recalls that he is something of an American and that 
 the room is full of men, whose count he has just 
 been talcing). What do you wish here? 
 
 THE THIEF. What should I wish? Just a mere 
 look. The whole town has come for a look, so I'm 
 here, too.
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 9 
 
 NAHMEN. You've no business coming into my 
 home, so clear out of here at once! (Some of the 
 guests are frightened at NAHMEN'S resolute manner 
 and tug at his coat to warn him that it is more tact- 
 ful to treat a thief in kind and friendly fashion.) 
 
 A BROTHER-IN-LAW. Let him have a look. 
 What do you care? 
 
 ANOTHER. Simply let him keep his hands off. 
 He can't hurt anything with his eyes. 
 
 THE THIEF. As long as you see me, there's noth- 
 ing to fear. You need be afraid only when you don't 
 see me. When you retire, and put out the lights, 
 and fall asleep. . . . Ha, ha, ha. . . . 
 
 NAHMEN. And I tell you to get out of here at 
 once. I come from America, I'll have you under- 
 stand. And in America folks know what e, revolver 
 is. Do you wish to see it, perhaps? Clear out on 
 the instant ! 
 
 THE THIEF. Just look at the airs he's putting 
 on. The cock of the walk! A revolver and such 
 things. . . . With a thief, it seems to me, it is bet- 
 ter to be on good terms. It's wise to make him the 
 keeper of your keys, ha, ha, ha. . . . (Tries to catch 
 a glimpse of the phonograph.) 
 
 NAHMEN (thrusts him aside). You'd better go 
 out before I throw you out ! 
 
 THE THIEF. Ha,, ha, ha! . . . Rather be so 
 kind as to present me with a little music. Have that 
 kindness, and I'll leave. 
 
 VOICES. Oh! Yes! Really! 
 
 NAHMEN. I'll soon play him a tune that'll. . . .
 
 10 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 THE THIEF. Do you know what? I'll pay you 
 with the small change I've picked from the pockets 
 of the crowd that's assembled before your windows. 
 Ha, ha, ha! . . . {He jingles the change in his 
 pocket. Some of the hearers take the THIEF'S words 
 for a jest, and laugh; others thrust their hands 
 hastily into their pockets.) 
 
 THE MOTHER. His hands should have been 
 paralyzed ! 
 
 THE MOTHER-IN-LAW. We ought to send for the 
 police. 
 
 THE THIEF (boastfully, and content with the im- 
 pression he has made). Would you accept a nice 
 little watch? It's worth a couple of rubles. Not 
 much. Your crowd is composed of paupers ! And 
 with Sabbath pockets. Fumble and fumble and 
 there's nothing to get out of them. Sabbath 
 cigarettes, hidden away, unsmoked, and other like 
 treasures. . . . 
 
 A BROTHER. Really, take his small change and 
 play him a tune. 
 
 THE FATHER. Stolen money! 
 
 LIBBE. We don't need his thefts. 
 
 NAHMEN. I'll see to it that he leaves in a mo- 
 ment. Just keep him away from the table. 
 (Hastens through the door at the right.) 
 
 THE THIEF (somewhat intimidated, draws back). 
 He refuses to believe that I simply wish to hear. 
 How is it possible, really, to steal the little American 
 lady? Why, if you just touch her, she's liable to let 
 out a shriek and commence to scream, ha, ha, ha!
 
 11 
 
 ... He thinks he'll scare me. . . . I'll give him just 
 one daub and he'll be lying at my feet, yelping like 
 a whipped cur. . . . What are you all looking at me 
 like that for? . . . That's the way! Tremble! 
 Then you'll let me have a glimpse of the American 
 lady. (Draws closer to the table.) 
 
 NAHMEN (returns). 
 
 THE THIEF (steps back, staring at NAHMEN'S 
 fingers. Seeing that the latter has returned with 
 empty hands, he bursts into laughter.) With what 
 he went out, he returns. Ha, ha, ha ! (Approaches 
 the table once more.) 
 
 NAHMEN (with his eyes directed, upon the table, 
 advances at the same time toward the thief, and as 
 he draws very near he suddenly delivers a resound- 
 ing slap, nearly knocking the fellow off his feet; 
 at once he whips out a revolver from his back pocket 
 and levels it at the thief). Now get right out, or 
 you'll be carried out a corpse ! 
 
 THE THIEF (lost, terrified, he edges his way to 
 the door and dashes out, followed by NAHMEN and 
 some of the bystanders). 
 
 THE CROWD (at first amazed, breathless and 
 speechless, finally explod&s into laughter). 
 
 A VOICE. That was a slap! 
 
 A SECOND VOICE. And the revolver under his 
 
 nose 
 
 A THIRD. And off with you ! 
 A WOMAN. Oh, I shivered all over. I thought 
 he was going to shoot.
 
 12 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 NAHMEN (returns). We're rid of him for good. 
 (The crowd holds its sides for laughter.) 
 
 AN UNCLE. And would you really have shot him? 
 
 NAHMEN. Bah! An empty revolver! Not 
 loaded ! 
 
 A BROTHER-IN-LAW. No bullets in it? 
 
 NAHMEN. What do you think? I wouldn't hold 
 a loaded revolver. Why, a loaded revolver might 
 actually shoot. 
 
 LIBBE. Just the same I'd advise you not to hold 
 it. 
 
 NAHMEN. This is what you call a real revolver. 
 You can put six bullets into iff. I said to myself, 
 " I've got to steal over the border line, and I must 
 be able to protect my baggage, so it pays to have 
 a shooter around." And it occurred to me, too, that 
 it could be of -use here. I actually expected thievish 
 visitors. . . . 
 
 THE MOTHER. Fie! Hide it. I can't bear the 
 sight of it. 
 
 NAHMEN (places the weapon in his pocket). 
 
 THE MOTHER-IN-LAW. See ! He's putting it into 
 his pocket! 
 
 NAHMEN. But it's empty. Didn't you hear what 
 I was just saying? 
 
 A BROTHER. A good thing the thief didn't know 
 that. 
 
 SECOND BROTHER. That slap alone was enough 
 to send him scampering to where pepper grows. 
 
 THE FATHER-IN-LAW. Where did you learn to 
 slap like that?
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 13 
 
 THE FATHER. From me, of course! Many's the 
 slap I've given him ! 
 
 NAHMEN (caressing the phonograph). I've gone 
 through quite a bit for the sake of this fellow. 
 He'll have to pay me back well. He'll have to be- 
 come a good business for me. 
 
 A SISTER-IN-LAW. Do you know what I'll tell 
 you? Let us celebrate the exit of the thief. Wind 
 up your machine and give us a tune. 
 
 VOICES. Yes, yes! 
 
 A SECOND SISTER-IN-LAW. The other people, per- 
 haps, won't show up. 
 
 NAHMEN. Well, if they don't come, we'll go to 
 sleep. 
 
 AN AUNT. Hush. I'll pay my share. How 
 much do you ask? 
 
 VOICES. We'll pay, too. 
 
 NAHMEN. Fine. Out with your coins, then. . . . 
 Business is business. Ten kopeks apiece. And then 
 we'll have music. (He puts out his hand and several 
 of ihe guests throw coins into it.) 
 
 THE INFORMER (enters). Good week to you. 
 
 NAHMEN (turns and notices him, quivering with 
 fright). 
 
 LIBBE (looks at NAHMEN, sees that he is perturbed, 
 whereupon she is infected with his fright and wrings 
 her hands). 
 
 THE INFORMER. Won't anybody answer my 
 greeting with a " Good year to you " ? 
 
 THE MOTHER. Nobody sent for you.
 
 14 -THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 THE MOTHER-IN-LAW. Informers are greeted 
 with: " Go to the deuce !" 
 
 THE INFORMER. I never informed against you, 
 did I? (Approaching NAHMEN.) Welcome, Mr. 
 Riskin ! (Offers his hand.) 
 
 NAHMEN (gives him his hand). The same to you. 
 
 THE INFORMER. You see, he isn't afraid of me. 
 He knows I have nothing to inform about, against 
 him. And he doesn't take offence for other people's 
 wrongs. So that's the machine, is it? A little 
 box. Has it played already ? May I hear some- 
 thing, too? 
 
 THE MOTHER (scornfully). Yes! Play some- 
 thing in his honor! 
 
 A BROTHER-IN-LAW. Maybe you've got a song 
 there called, " A curse on you, Informer ! " 
 (Laughter.) 
 
 NAHMEN (cordially). We are waiting for the 
 rabbi, the merchant and the cantor to arrive. 
 When they come we'll play the machine and you, too, 
 will hear. 
 
 THE INFORMER. Then we'll wait. I'm not so 
 important a personage as they, yet I'll enjoy their 
 good fortune. 
 
 NAHMEN (almost apologetically). To play the 
 phonograph too often isn't good for its health. 
 
 THE INFORMER. Very well. I'm in no hurry. 
 I'll wait. Tell me, pray, what kind of voyage did 
 you have? 
 
 NAHMEN. Excellent. How should it be? I
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 15 
 
 sailed on a first-class vessel. A speedy liner. 
 Travelled second-class, like a lord, like a real 
 American. 
 
 THE INFORMER. But you must have had your 
 troubles at the border. 
 
 NAHMEN. What do you mean ? Why ? Just the 
 opposite, in fact. 
 
 THE INFORMER. What do you mean, " the op- 
 posite " ? When a man crosses the border with an 
 American machine and without a passport. . . . 
 
 NAHMEN. Without a passport? What do you 
 mean, without a passport? May we all have a 
 fortune as surely as I had a passport. 
 
 THE INFORMER. A false one? 
 
 NAHMEN. Ah, you wish to insult me? What do 
 you mean by " a false one " ? Don't you know that 
 I sailed for America with a government passport ? 
 
 THE INFORMER. I know that you sailed for 
 America without a government passport. I know 
 even what you wrote about how you stole across the 
 border. 
 
 NAHMEN (laughing}. Cross yourself; you prob- 
 ably heard that about somebody else. 
 
 THE MOTHER-IN-LAW. What's this? Are you 
 getting ready to inform against him? 
 
 NAHMEN (angrily). Inform! What has he to 
 inform about? The police know that I had a pass- 
 port. 
 
 THE INFORMER. And so is the machine not con- 
 traband? You paid duty on it?
 
 16 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 NAHMEN. Eleven rubles and forty-nine kopeks, 
 just as truly as it's Saturday night upon earth. 
 Why, I have the receipt. 
 
 THE INFORMER. Then you're an innocent man, 
 after all. 
 
 NAHMEN. Might the same be said of every Jew- 
 ish soul! 
 
 THE INFORMER. Then I can't earn anything 
 here. 
 
 NAHMEN. An American cigarette. (Offers him 
 the cigarette case.) 
 
 THE INFORMER. Well, we'll take what we can 
 get. Let's see how an American cigarette tastes. 
 Although, for crossing the border without a pass- 
 port, and smuggling in a phonograph. . . . 
 
 NAHMEN. If that were true, it would really be 
 a bad state of affairs. 
 
 THE INFORMER. Just the same, I believe that a 
 little informing wouldn't be a bad thing. . . . (A 
 stir in the crowd.) Just see how they all started ! 
 I, you will understand, take intense pleasure in in- 
 forming. I gain weight on it. Ha, ha. . . . And 
 on the contrary, if I should ever let slip an oppor- 
 tunity to inform, I'd be liable to get sick with 
 heartache. As if I lost who knows what. Like a 
 pious Jew who omits a prayer. That's the kind of 
 informer I am. And it's entirely possible that I 
 should inform against you for the pure pleasure 
 of the thing. It may be that you really had a 
 passport, that you paid duty upon the machine and 
 have a receipt, but in the meantime the police would
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 17 
 
 come, would make an investigation, and there'd be a 
 hubbub and I'd have had my little joke, ha, ha, ha! 
 Well, why are you all so frightened? If you wish, 
 I can restrain my desire to inform. It can do me 
 harm, but I am willing to risk my health if there's 
 enough in it. 
 
 NAHMEN. What, for instance? 
 
 INFORMER. Take me in as a partner. 
 
 VOICES. Did you hear what he asks? Oh, a 
 plague upon him ! 
 
 NAHMEN. Do you know what I'm going to do to 
 you? 
 
 INFORMER. What, for example? 
 
 NAHMEN. What I did to the thief. I gave him a 
 punch in the jaw and almost shot him. 
 
 INFORMER. Oho, if that's the case, then I'll cer- 
 tainly do right to inform against you. (Arises.) 
 
 NAHMEN (pointing the revolver at him). You'll 
 not leave this room alive. 
 
 CROWD (at -first takes fright at sight of the re- 
 volver; then the various bystanders begin to choke 
 back their laughter)* 
 
 INFORMER (tries to escape). 
 
 NAHMEN (holding him). You can't run away. 
 You're going to sit down and write a little letter for 
 me. (Sits the INFORMER down upon a chair. To 
 his wife.) Libbe, bring paper, ink and pen. 
 
 LIBBE (goes into the next room to get the ma- 
 terials). 
 
 NAHMEN. You are to write down that you heard I 
 had come from America with a great deal of money
 
 18 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 and you offer to sell me counterfeit bills. Now you 
 understand, if you dare to inform against me, your 
 letter will be delivered into the hands of the police. 
 The most they can do to me if I have paid no duty, 
 is to take away my phonograph ; but you will languish 
 in prison. 
 
 INFORMER. How am I to write such a letter for 
 you? Suppose I don't inform against you, and you 
 take it into your head to give my letter to the police 
 anyway ? 
 
 NAHMEN. You write that letter like a good little 
 boy, and ask questions afterwards, unless you wish 
 to leave this place lame with an ear shot off. 
 
 INFORMER. You certainly learned a thing or two 
 in America. Do you know what? Let's become 
 partners in informing! 
 
 LIBBE (enters with writing materials). 
 
 NAHME-N. I'll soon make you a partner with the 
 angel of death. Write down what I've told you to. 
 
 INFORMER. To think that I should fall into this ! 
 I should have had the additional pleasure of inform- 
 ing the authorities that you carried a revolver. 
 You'll see, I'll fall ill because of all this. If I should 
 die, remember that it was you who shortened my 
 years. 
 
 THE MOTHER-IN-LAW. May it happen as soon as 
 possible. 
 
 VOICES. Amen ! 
 
 VOICES (from outside). The rabbi is coming! 
 The cantor is coming ! Here comes the merchant ! 
 
 NAHMEN (to the INFORMER). Write, at once!
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 19 
 
 INFORMER. The pen oan't move ! My hand can't 
 stir! 
 
 NAHMEN. Shall I shoot you? You can't get out 
 of this, I tell you. (To his BROTHERS and BROTH- 
 ERS-IN-LAW.) Do you know what? You fellows 
 will be so kind as to take this chap into the bedroom, 
 until the guests leave. The five of you should be 
 able to keep a close watch over him. You may tie 
 him to the bedpost, if you care to. 
 
 INFORMER. I'll raise an outcry, and you'll see 
 what will happen. 
 
 NAHMEN. Then I'll shoot off your nose. Bet- 
 ter do as you're told, without any resistance. 
 
 A BROTHER. But we wish to hear the phono- 
 graph. 
 
 NAHMEN. You can hear it from there. . . . And 
 I'll give you a separate concert . . . later. 
 
 A BROTHER-IN-LAW. Then give me back my 
 ten kopeks. 
 
 NAHMEN. How? What? Oh, yes. Here's your 
 ten kopeks and off with you J (To the INFORMER.) 
 Move, now ! One, two, three. . . . 
 
 A BROTHER (to the INFORMER.) Come, my good 
 sir, we'll keep a watchful eye on you. (The five men 
 leave with him, going into the next room; they are 
 followed by general laughter.) 
 
 A SISTER-IN-LAW. Do you see what America 
 makes of a man? 
 
 A SECOND SISTER-IN-LAW. An expert shooter. 
 (The guests appear; the RABBI and his wife, the MER- 
 CHANT and his wife, the CANTOR and his wife. They
 
 20 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 greet all with a " Good week! " and from all sides 
 comes the response, " Good week! Good year! ") 
 
 NAHMEN (to the previous visitors}. Will all of 
 you please go into the other rooms. You can hear 
 from there. Then we'll have more room in here. 
 And more air. (The people walk out most unwill- 
 ingly. There remain only NAHMEN'S father and 
 mother, his father-in-law and mother-in-law and a few 
 elderly folk.) 
 
 THE RABBI. You won't be offended that I've 
 brought my wife along? 
 
 THE RABBI'S WIFE. I said to him : Why shouldn't 
 I have the pleasure? 
 
 THE MERCHANT. I did the same thing myself. 
 Without asking your permission. 
 
 THE MERCHANT'S WIFE. I said to him: Don't 
 worry. They won't drive me out. 
 
 THE CANTOR'S WIFE. And / said : How will they 
 do without an expert in music, like myself? 
 
 NAHMEN. You are all welcome, I assure you. 
 Let me introduce my wife. Mrs. Riskin, as the Amer- 
 icans say, ha, ha, ha. . . . My father, my mother. . . . 
 
 RABBI. Yes, yes, we know them. ... So that's 
 the machine? That box there? (They group them- 
 selves around the table and feel the phonograph with 
 amazement.) 
 
 CANTOR. And this box here sings like a cantor 
 and his choir, and speaks Hebrew? 
 
 RABBI'S WIFE. I thought it was some sort of 
 huge box, and that the cantor and his choir got in- 
 side. .
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 21 
 
 NAHMEN (he has placed a record upon the revolv- 
 ing disc). The cantor in the box will now sing 
 " Lay us down," accompanied by his choir. 
 
 CANTOR. "Lay us down in peace"? Whose 
 composition? Pitshe, the cantor's? (The phono- 
 graph begins to play. No sooner have the first 
 sounds issued from the machine than the guests al- 
 most cry in astonishment.) 
 
 CANTOR. It's really " Lay us down." Wait ! 
 Pitshe's? Sulzer's? The Belzer's? 
 
 CANTOR'S WIFE. Oh, dear me ! Just listen to 
 that ! A choir ! And a real cantor ! 
 
 MERCHANT'S WIFE. Why, the thing is really 
 praying ! 
 
 RABBI (piously). Blessed be the Lord that He 
 has preserved us unto this day, to witness this mira- 
 cle. (Smacks his lips with pleasure and fervor.) 
 
 RABBI'S WIFE (begins to peep under the table, as 
 if seeking some concealed persons, and then eyes 
 NAHMEN with a penetrating glance, to see whether 
 the tones are not coming from him.) 
 
 CANTOR (delighted, begins to sway piously to and 
 fro, chiming in with the music between his exclama- 
 tions). Ay, ay, ay! . . . " And succor us." . . . 
 
 MERCHANT. Hush ! 
 
 CANTOR (bites his under lip, shuts his eyes, sways 
 and sways to and fro, marking time with his right in- 
 dex finger. At last he cannot restrain an outburst of 
 admiration and enthusiasm). Ay, ay, ay! ... 
 
 CANTOR'S WIFE (places her hand over his mouth,
 
 23 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 but he does not cease to sway, until the record comes 
 to its end. Then he opens his eyes). 
 
 CANTOR. Ay, ay, ay. . . . As far as the cantor 
 is concerned, well, we'll let that pass. I've heard 
 plenty of them in my day. ... I heard Pitshe him- 
 self. ... I myself, if I only had a few of those upper 
 notes, and also a few of those lower notes. . . . 
 
 CANTOR'S WIFE. And a few of the middle ones 
 and a few of those between the upper ones and the 
 middle ones and between the middle ones and the 
 lower ones. . . . 
 
 MERCHANT. Oh, I guess that when the Holy Days 
 come around again, we'll rather put this phonograph 
 before the altar, instead of the cantor. 
 
 CANTOR. And suppose that fellow inside there 
 sang without his hat on ? 
 
 RABBI. Wonder of wonders 1 I can't find words. 
 There stands a box, and out of the box issues a voice, 
 a chorus of voices, a cantor and his choir, and chants 
 a prayer, in really excellent Hebrew, pure Hebrew ! 
 Miracles ! A miracle of creation ! 
 
 RABBI'S WIFE. I've been looking under the table. 
 I shouldn't be surprised if somebody were concealed 
 there. 
 
 THE MOTHER-IN-LAW. God befriend you ! What 
 are you talking about, good woman? 
 
 NAHMEN (after having put on another record). 
 Now you're going to hear another prayer. So sweet 
 that it simply turns your head. (The phonograph 
 begins to play. Suddenly a cry arises from without, 
 growing to a tumult.)
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 23 
 
 LIBBE. Oh ! What can that be ? 
 
 NAHMEN (seizes the phonograph and carries it 
 into another room). 
 
 THE TOWN IDIOT (comes dashing into the house). 
 I'm a funnygraf, too! I'm a funnygraf! (Goes 
 through the motions of winding himself up and com- 
 mences to sing in wild tones.) 
 
 NAHMEN (returns, and with the aid of a few others 
 throws the IDIOT out). 
 
 MERCHANT'S WIFE. I am so scared! 
 
 LIBBE. I'm trembling from head to foot. 
 
 MERCHANT. And meanwhile the music was cut 
 short. 
 
 CANTOR. Ay, ay, ay ! . . . 
 
 RABBI. Wonder of wonders ! 
 
 CANTOR'S WIFE. Can you bring the cantor in the 
 box back now? 
 
 NAHMEN. No more. It's closed now, for good. 
 It isn't so easy to open it. And it's time to clear the 
 crowd away from the windows. (Opens a window 
 and calls to the crowd.) You can break up now. 
 There'll be no more singing. It's been closed. (He 
 closes the window, and from, outside comes the bustle, 
 noise and laughter of a crowd that gradually disap- 
 pears. Some of the visitors begin to leave, too, wish- 
 ing a " good year " as they go.) 
 
 RABBI. Thanks for the entertainment. (Aris- 
 ing.) And if you should invite me again, I'll cer- 
 tainly thank you. 
 
 RABBI'S WIFE (approaching the table and looking 
 underneath). I simply can't get it out of my head
 
 24 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 that. . . . Maybe Reb Nahmen is a ventriloquist? 
 (Laughter.) There are such people, you know. . . . 
 
 CANTOR. I've got a good mind to learn those 
 pieces. Too bad we didn't hear the whole of the sec- 
 ond selection. I'll have to hear it over and over 
 again. The cantor isn't so much, but the choir, the 
 choir! If I only had such a choir, and those upper 
 notes. . . . 
 
 CANTOR'S WIFE. Ah, ah ! If I only had that box 
 for a husband ! 
 
 RABBI. You've already told us at the synagogue 
 how our fellow Jews live in America. I'd certainly 
 be glad to hear more and more. But you must be 
 weary from the journey. You arrived yesterday eve- 
 ning, and I guess you've been talking aplenty since 
 then. And I've got a great deal to do myself, to- 
 night. Tomorrow, after prayers, if you'll have the 
 time, you'll please remind me that I wished to ask 
 you something. 
 
 NAHMEN (somewhat impatient). Surely. Surely. 
 
 RABBI. A good week to you. 
 
 RABBI'S WIFE. A good week to you and many 
 thanks. There isn't any witchcraft about all this, is 
 there, Reb Nahmen ? I mean to say. . . . You know. 
 . . . What can't folks do with witchcraft ? 
 
 RABBI. But witchcraft wouldn't say prayers. 
 
 CANTOR'S WIFE. Let it be witchcraft, so long as 
 it's beautiful. Good week to you. 
 
 CANTOR. Ay, ay, ay ! Ah ! Na ! Well, good 
 week to you. (The CANTOR and his wife leave.)
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 25 
 
 MEBCHANT. And I'm not going yet, because I 
 have something to talk over with you. 
 
 NAHMEN (impatient, casting a glance in the direc- 
 tion of the door behind which the INFORMER is held 
 captive). 
 
 MERCHANT. Business. And I don't like to post- 
 pone business matters. 
 
 NAHMEN. Just a minute. I must tell my broth- 
 ers something. They are in the next room. (NAH- 
 MEN goes out.) 
 
 MERCHANT. There's business in America ! Every 
 man ought to take a trip to America. That's where 
 you can learn a thing or two and make rapid strides. 
 Ah, America ! The greatest millionaires ! And 
 everything's reckoned in dollars ! Do you realize 
 what that means ? If a man has a million over there, 
 it's like two million over here ! Do you see the vast 
 difference? If I have a hundred rubles in my pocket 
 now, and go to America, it becomes fifty do you 
 see that difference? I become a poor man. And on 
 the contrary, if I have a hundred dollars in my pocket 
 and come from there to here, I have two hundred 
 rubles. Do you understand what it means? Ay, 
 America ! 
 
 NAHMEN (enters, closing the door behind him). 
 To tell the truth, I'm feeling very tired. . , 
 
 MERCHANT. If you refuse to talk business merely 
 because you're tired, then you're no business man. 
 An American business man is certainly never tired. 
 
 NAHMEN. That's just what I was about to say.
 
 26 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 To tell the truth, I am quite tired I returned only 
 yesterday, after a hard voyage. But since it's a 
 matter of business, there must be no delay. Only re- 
 member that I believe in the American way : a word, a 
 nod done. 
 
 MERCHANT. But it doesn't seem to me that in 
 America they do business before a roomful of people. 
 
 MOTHER-IN-LAW. That means us, I presume. 
 
 FATHER-IN-LAW. Then let's be off. (The FA- 
 THER and MOTHER, the FATHER-IN-LAW and the 
 MOTHER-IN-LAW, and the other guests, rise, exchange 
 wishes for a good week, and leave. The wives of the 
 five men who are guarding the INFORMER go to their 
 husbands. LIBBE sits down beside the MERCHANT'S 
 WIFE.) 
 
 MERCHANT. I have no objection to our wives re- 
 maining here. 
 
 NAHMEN (nervous; takes out a cigarette, lights it, 
 and is about to replace his cigarette-case when he be- 
 thinks himself, and offers it to the MERCHANT). Do 
 you smoke? 
 
 MERCHANT. What's the sense of smoking? It's 
 money thrown out. Well, tell me just what you in- 
 tend to do with your machine. 
 
 NAHMEN. Business, of course. 
 
 MERCHANT. Very well ; but just how? 
 
 NAHMEN. Just like that. 
 
 MERCHANT. What do you mean: "just like 
 that"? 
 
 NAHMEN. I have brought a machine that sings 
 and plays gives concerts. And there is a public
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 27 
 
 here that's fond of singing and playing is fond of 
 concerts. That makes us a good match. 
 
 MERCHANT. True. True. So, from the way it 
 seems, you'll hire a store, and set up a sort of thea- 
 tre. . . . 
 
 NAHMEN. I'll see to the details later. 
 
 MERCHANT. And you'll remain in this town all 
 the time? 
 
 NAHMEN. Maybe I'll pay visits to the surround- 
 ing towns, where there are no phonographs. 
 
 MERCHANT. Hm ! Go on the road, too. That's 
 what I thought. Travel, too. When the market 
 grows dull here, and the people have had their fill, 
 you'll go " on the road," and when you return, 
 the folks here will be ready for more. Isn't that 
 so? 
 
 NAHMEN. That's how I look at it. 
 
 MERCHANT. Then we agree. 
 
 NAHMEN. But what business did you want to 
 speak of? 
 
 MERCHANT. That's exactly to what we are com- 
 ing now. Just why is your business a business, or as 
 you put it, a match? Because you have the ma- 
 chine that sings, and the public likes singing. But 
 suppose there is another machine hereabouts, and yet 
 another? The match begins to get a bit shaky, and 
 the business is spoiled. And if these other machines 
 should get ahead of you in the other towns, then the 
 business is certainly ruined. Do you understand? 
 
 NAHMEN. I can't see what you're driving at. 
 Are you going to order other machines?
 
 28 
 
 MERCHANT. Well, well ! You have a smart head 
 on your shoulders ! 
 
 LIBBE (groans). 
 
 NAHMEN. Then why need you tell me all this? 
 
 MERCHANT. Because I'm an honest man. In- 
 stead of becoming your competitor, I prefer to be- 
 come your partner. 
 
 NAHMEN. Partner? What do I need a partner 
 for? 
 
 MERCHANT. Then I'll be your competitor. 
 What do you need a competitor for? How much 
 do you expect to ask for admission? 
 
 NAHMEN. How much? Twenty kopeks. Twen- 
 ty-five kopeks. Children, ten kopeks. 
 
 MERCHANT. And your competitor can make the 
 fee cheaper. You know yourself, I have a store in 
 my own building. I won't have to pay any rent. . . . 
 
 NAHMEN. And what are your terms of partner- 
 ship ? 
 
 MERCHANT. We'll divide the profits. 
 
 NAHMEN. How much money will you invest in the 
 business ? 
 
 MERCHANT. Invest money? What do you need 
 money for? To put in chairs? To pay rent? 
 You'd have to do that anyway. 
 
 NAHMEN. Then what sort of partner are you? 
 
 MERCHANT. My partnership will consist in my 
 not being a competitor. 
 
 NAHMEN. And for that you ask half the profits? 
 
 MERCHANT. Naturally. If I should become your 
 competitor, you'd be lucky to make the half that
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 29 
 
 you'll have under the terms of our partnership. 
 
 NAHMEN. Hmmm. . . . 
 
 MERCHANT. You'll rent the store from me. I'll 
 let you have it very cheap. Cheaper than it was. 
 
 NAHMEN. And suppose I don't care to? 
 
 MERCHANT. Then I'll send for several machines. 
 
 LIBBE. You've got enough business of your own, 
 I should think! 
 
 MERCHANT. There's no such thing as enough in 
 business. Now your husband knows how they do in 
 America. 
 
 LIBBE. But this business wasn't your idea. 
 
 MERCHANT. And do you think that I thought 
 out my other business ventures? Who cares about 
 who thought it out. Business is business. As soon 
 as a new business appears, it becomes public prop- 
 erty. Whoever has the money, may engage in it. 
 
 LIBBE. But to snatch the food out of another 
 man's mouth! 
 
 MERCHANT. Business ! And suppose he takes it 
 into his head to steal my business? Maybe he can 
 run it better than I can. For he's an American, 
 recollect. 
 
 A BROTHER (enters). See here. This has got to 
 end sometime. We can't stay in there all night. . . . 
 
 NAHMEN. Come in, all of you. 
 
 BROTHER. All? Shall we bring him in, too? 
 
 NAHMEN. Surely. (Calls into the next room.) 
 Come in, all of you ! Bring him in, too ! 
 
 MERCHANT. Whom shall they bring in? The 
 phonograph?
 
 30 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 MERCHANT'S WIFE (uneasy). I think it would .be 
 better if we went home. (The guards and their wives 
 enter with the INFORMER.) 
 
 MERCHANT. He? What has this fellow been do- 
 ing here? 
 
 NAHMEN. He wished to become my partner, too. 
 
 MERCHANT. He ? 
 
 NAHMEN. Why not? And if I wasn't willing, he 
 threatened to inform against me. 
 
 MERCHANT. A dangerous fellow. We'll have to 
 attend to him 
 
 NAHMEN. I've done that already. You'll see at 
 once how he writes me out a document that'll make 
 him hold his tongue. (Takes out his revolver.) Sit 
 down, my fine fellow, and write ! (At sight of the re- 
 volver the MERCHANT'S WIFE recoils in fright; the 
 MERCHANT, too, is uneasy; the guards, without any 
 too great tenderness, seat the INFORMER and force 
 the pen in between his fingers.) And see that your 
 fingers fly this time, or I'll see to it that you have a 
 few less. You know already what you're supposed 
 to write. You offer me counterfeit bills. (To the 
 guards.) Watch what he writes. So that he won't 
 have to do it over again. I've got something else to 
 attend to now. (Pointing the weapon at the MER- 
 CHANT.) You're going to sit down and write some- 
 thing for me, too. 
 
 MERCHANT'S WIFE. Oh! My God! Oh! I'll 
 raise an outcry ! . . . 
 
 NAHMEN. If you dare, I'll shoot you. Under-
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 31 
 
 stand ; I'm an American. You heard your own hus- 
 band say so. 
 
 MERCHANT (bewildered). What shall I write? 
 
 NAHMEN. First sit down where you were before. 
 Right here at the table. Libbe, let's have another 
 pen. 
 
 LIBBE (exit). 
 
 NAHMEN (to the MERCHANT'S WIFE). And you 
 sit down, too, where you sat before. And be quiet. 
 Not a chirp from you, remember. Do you see these 
 six holes in the revolver? These are for six bullets. 
 Do you understand what that means? 
 
 MERCHANT'S WIFE. Oh, I'm ready to faint. Oh, 
 I'll soon take one of my shrieking fits ! . . . 
 
 NAHMEN. Faint, if you must. But none of your 
 shrieking fits. Sit still, there. As soon as he writes 
 out his paper, you may go home in peace. (To the 
 INFORMER.) And you stop looking in this direc- 
 tion. Finish your writing J 
 
 LIBBE (enters with a pen). 
 
 NAHMEN (giving the pen to the MERCHANT and 
 handing him a sheet of paper) . Write down that if 
 another phonograph should appear in this town you 
 must give me five thousand rubles. 
 
 MERCHANT. Even if the machines are not ordered 
 by me? 
 
 NAHMEN. Even if not ordered by you. And none 
 of your chaffering. Write as I tell you. And as a 
 wise precaution, you'll write me a note for five thou- 
 sand rubles.
 
 33 THE PHONOGRAPH 
 
 MERCHANT. I'll write no notes ; under no circum- 
 stances. 
 
 NAHMEN (bringing the weapon close to the MER- 
 CHANT'S face}. You won't, ha? 
 
 MERCHANT'S WIFE. Oy, oy, oy ! . . . 
 
 NAHMEN. Hush, there 1 (To a BROTHER.) Go, 
 Layzer, and fetch us a note somewhere. 
 
 BROTHER. Where can I get one now ? 
 
 NAHMEN. From hell itself, if you must. Hurry. 
 You'll surely get one at Hirshe the money lender's. 
 
 BROTHER (exit). 
 
 MERCHANT. But this is highway robbery. 
 
 NAHMEN. Write and keep your mouth shut. 
 We'll discuss robbery later. 
 
 INFORMER (to the MERCHANT). We can both 
 learn our business from him. 
 
 NAHMEN. Finish your writing ! 
 
 INFORMER. I've finished already. All I need do 
 is sign my name. Such an outrage. 
 
 NAHMEN. So. Now let's have what you've writ- 
 ten. (Takes the document from the INFORMER. To 
 the MERCHANT.) Sit still, there. Don't dare to 
 stir. (Takes the paper from him likewise.) Now 
 all you have to do is write out a note. 
 
 INFORMER. May I go now? 
 
 NAHMEN. Wait till I read this through. Then 
 you can go to hell for all I care. (He scans both 
 documents.) Fine. Excellent. (Giving them to 
 LIBBE.) Fold them and place them here in my inside 
 pocket. Libbe, I'm going to become a great business 
 man. I didn't realize myself what was in me. Do
 
 THE PHONOGRAPH 33 
 
 you hear? I'm a different person entirely, it seems. 
 How shall I put it? I seem to have grown up. . . . 
 I seem. . . . 
 
 BROTHER (running into the house). The police 
 are coming! (Intense amazement.) 
 
 INFORMER. And I not the informer! Disgust- 
 ing! 
 
 CURTAIN
 
 THE GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH 
 WOOL MERCHANT
 
 PERSONS 
 
 THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT. 
 
 His WIFE. 
 
 His SON. 
 
 His MOTHER. 
 
 THE ORGANIST. 
 
 THE BUTLER. 
 
 AN USHER. 
 
 A DOCTOR. 
 
 GUESTS, USHERS, SERVANTS, ETC.
 
 THE GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH 
 WOOL MERCHANT 
 
 SCENE : A vast, temple-like hall in, the home of the 
 WOOL MERCHANT, illuminated by countless electric 
 lights upon the ceiling and the walls. Floor, ceil- 
 ing and walls are alike covered with wool, the floor 
 with earth colored wool, the watts with wool of 
 bright rose hue, the ceilmg sky blue. At the rear 
 a Holy Ark, bedecked with purple-red wool; the 
 Ark is approached by several steps that lead to a 
 broad altar platform. The curtains of the Ark 
 are of white wool and are adorned with purple-red 
 woollen David's shields (six-cornered stars). 
 Above the Holy Ark are the pipes of a huge organ, 
 enveloped in white wool. A broad strip of green 
 wool extends entirely across the middle of the 
 stage, leading also from the doors to the steps be- 
 fore the Holy Ark and covering also the steps and 
 the altar. On both sides of the Holy Ark, placed 
 perpendicularly to the rear watt and reaching to 
 the central green strip, rows of benches; each bench 
 can hold four persons and is covered with dark 
 blue wool. Two doors at the right and left re- 
 spectively are similarly covered with dark blue 
 wool. The WOOL MERCHANT, a man of middle 
 age with a flourishing white beard, and the ORGAN- 
 IST, gray and clean shaven, are discovered standing 
 37
 
 38 GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 
 
 not far from the door to the right, engrossed in 
 conversation. 
 
 THE WOOL MERCHANT. Yes, indeed. You have 
 succeeded admirably, I must admit. The truth is the 
 truth. Your music serves my purpose splendidly. 
 It is suited to prayer as well as to dancing. Don't I 
 seem crazy to you with all my dancing? Don't I ap- 
 pear foolish to you? 
 
 ORGANIST. - H'm ! Indeed ! Why ? I understand 
 you perfectly. The ancient Greeks danced, too, 
 when they worshipped their gods. 
 
 MERCHANT. King David, too, danced before the 
 ark. When you feel God very close to you, you wish 
 to serve him with every limb. So you have to dance. 
 Naturally, I don't do it so well yet. Of course, an 
 experienced dancer would do it far better, far more 
 gracefully. You will be so kind as to play over for 
 me your finale from that point where the dance 
 grows faster and more ardent. You know trala, 
 la, la, la. ... Will you have the kindness? 
 
 ORGANIST. With pleasure! 
 
 MERCHANT. I want to have just one more little 
 rehearsal to dance through that finale just once 
 more. 
 
 ORGANIST (bows and leaves through the door at the 
 right). 
 
 MERCHANT (raises his arms and begins to make 
 pious dance gestures, rolling his eyes and closing 
 them. At first his movements are slow, then they 
 become livelier. The organ commences to play. The
 
 GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 39 
 
 time is a fervent Chassidic dance, full of devotional 
 ecstasy. The MERCHANT now dances with abandon, 
 moving every limb, and takes his course over the green 
 path to the holy ark. Reaching the altar he becomes 
 rigid, transfixed, and slowly walks up the steps. The 
 organ ceases to play. For a moment the MERCHANT 
 remains motionless, then he faces slowly about, 
 austere and rigid, turning his head from left to right 
 and from right to left, as if he were considering the 
 crowd upon the benches; he moves his lips as if de- 
 livering a speech. Enter the ORGANIST. The MER- 
 CHANT turns to him). It gets better with each re- 
 hearsal. If I only had more time I'd work it out still 
 better. But what's the difference? The first time 
 they'll laugh, anyway, no matter how well I do it. 
 Later, they'll all dance with me. I said, " To-day." 
 Then, to-day it shall be. To-day I reveal myself ; to- 
 day I declare myself. Go now to the organ and hold 
 yourself in readiness. Your music certainly will be 
 a success. I only wish that my dance will meet with 
 the same favor. Go now and send the butler in to me. 
 
 ORGANIST (bowing). The best of luck to you. 
 (Exit through the door at the right.) 
 
 MERCHANT (again assumes his serious, stiff atti- 
 tude and begins to move his lips). 
 
 THE BUTLER (enters from the door at the right). 
 CHANT (descends from the altar). We are to 
 be to ... r t once. I am going to dress. Let the guests 
 enter. (Exit through the right hand door.) 
 
 BUTLER (opens the left hand door and announces). 
 You are invited to enter. (There enter at first sev-
 
 40 GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 
 
 eral USHERS, followed by the GUESTS. Att are dressed 
 in fine array, at their head the WOOL MERCHANT'S 
 WIFE, His MOTHER, His SON and DAUGHTER. After 
 all the guests have come in the BUTLER closes the 
 door, crossing to the right door and standing guard 
 over it. The USHERS show the GUESTS to their seats 
 and take their places upon either side, forward. The 
 WIFE, the MOTHER, the SON and the DAUGHTER are 
 seated at the left, in the front row. All gaze around 
 in bewilderment.) 
 
 VOICES. A synagogue ! A temple ! A holy 
 ark ! An organ ! And everything covered with 
 wool! 
 
 A GUEST (behmd the WOOL MERCHANT'S WIFE). 
 What can all this mean ? 
 
 WIFE. I'm just as astonished as you are. 
 
 GUEST. Didn't you know, either? 
 
 WIFE. I'm ashamed to tell. He never permitted 
 me to enter this place and never said a word about 
 what he was building here. And I had to give him 
 my word that I'd never peek into this hall, even if 
 I died from curiosity. But he had to pay me hand- 
 somely for the promise. 
 
 DAUGHTER. And he paid me handsomely, too. 
 
 SON. I got my share, also. " If you don't give 
 me so much and so much, then I'll ferret out your se- 
 cret." I'm sorry that he is to make it public. It 
 was such an excellent business. 
 
 MOTHER. This is a most pleasant surprise to me. 
 To think that he's built a synagogue of his own in his
 
 GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 41 
 
 very house holy ark, sacred scrolls and all. And 
 here was I, thinking what a pity it had been to spend 
 so much effort, from his earliest days, to make a pious 
 Jew of him. 
 
 GUEST. But look, an organ ; a reformed syna- 
 gogue. 
 
 MOTHER. That makes no difference. Now I 
 know that there will be a son to pray for my soul. 
 
 SON. Only let him not ask me to go to the syna- 
 gogue. 
 
 MOTHER. Will it be such a long journey? The 
 synagogue has come to you. 
 
 DAUGHTER. Now, mother, you may expect us to 
 have kosher meals once again. 
 
 GUEST. Where is he now? 
 
 WIFE. I don't know any better than you. He 
 must be behind the door where the butler is standing 
 guard. He is surely not through yet with his dress- 
 ing. 
 
 SON. He'll enter in a prayer shawl, most likely. 
 
 MOTHER. That's right ! Ridicule your father ! 
 
 WIFE (arises, and is about to approach the BUT- 
 LER). 
 
 AN UsrfER (bars her way). Kindly be seated. 
 No moving about. 
 
 WIFE. But I am 
 
 USHER. I know. Nevertheless, you will be so 
 kind as to remain seated. 
 
 WIFE. Where is your master? 
 
 USHER. I do not know.
 
 42 GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 
 
 WIFE. Is he soon coming in ? 
 
 USHER. I do not know. (He forces her back to 
 her seat.) 
 
 WIFE (angrily). "Do not know! Do not 
 know!" (Takes her seat.) Very soon we'll all 
 know. So you may as well tell us now! 
 
 USHER. Do not know. 
 
 SON. I'll take you by the collar and give you such 
 a shaking out. . . . 
 
 (Suddenly the organ commences to play. The 
 door at the right is thrown wide open; first enter two 
 men garbed from head to foot in red wool in wool- 
 len surplices, girdles, shoes and caps with electric 
 torches m their hands; behind them, four men in pur- 
 ple red wool, bearing upon a board similarly covered, 
 a holy scroll with white woollen cover; behind, two 
 other men in red wool, with electric torches in their 
 hands. At last, the WOOL MERCHANT himself comes 
 in, dressed in white wool and wearing a white girdle 
 that sparkles with diamonds. The procession crosses 
 the green path to the holy ark. The organ plays a 
 medley of synagogue, church and Chassidic music. 
 The MERCHANT at first moves with slow dance ges- 
 tures and soon gives himself up to the dance of devo- 
 tional ecstasy. The audience is astounded, looking 
 on with mouths agape and with a suppressed " Oh! " 
 Now they look at one another with signs of stupe- 
 faction and soon must struggle to restrain their 
 laughter. Here and there may be heard the explo- 
 sion of ill-contained merriment. The men bearing 
 the holy scroll mount the steps of the altar and re-
 
 GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 43 
 
 main standing in the centre; two of the torch bearers 
 stand at either side of the stage. The MERCHANT 
 now assumes his stiff posture and advances slowly up 
 the steps. The organ stops playing; the MERCHANT 
 faces the audience with an austere, rigid mien ; many 
 of the guests are holding their palms across their 
 mouths; the WIFE, the MOTHER, the DAUGHTER and 
 the SON sit in dumfounded perplexity.) 
 
 MERCHANT. Ladies and gentlemen: I have as- 
 sembled you to behold a new service which I myself 
 have established to worship the God that made me 
 who made me what I now am. 
 
 SON (in a whisper). Comedy! 
 
 MERCHANT (closes his eyes, as if from the pam of 
 the insult, and then opens them, assuming a stern 
 countenance). Who has made me what I now am? 
 Answer : Who has made me what I now am ? 
 
 WIFE. Who, then, should have made you what 
 you now are? 
 
 MERCHANT. Is that an answer ? 
 
 SON. You alone made yourself what you are to- 
 day. You're a self-made man. 
 
 MERCHANT. I never expected you to be able to 
 recognize true divinity. 
 
 MOTHER. God. God has made you what you are 
 to-day. 
 
 MERCHANT (sarcastically). God! Which God? 
 I'm now fifty years old. Where was that God of 
 whom you prate and whom you always have in mind, 
 where was he up to ten years ago? How much did I 
 not suffer up to ten years ago? What didn't I
 
 44 GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 
 
 endure? I was born in poverty, of parents who in- 
 sisted upon making a rabbi of me. 
 
 MOTHER. Would to God you had really become 
 one. 
 
 MERCHANT. But I didn't. I wandered from one 
 religious academy to the other, ate at strangers' 
 tables and worked myself up to be a teacher of He- 
 brew. Then I left home and came to America, 
 worked in a shop as a " greenhorn," became a con- 
 tractor in boys' trousers, then changed over to petti- 
 coats and at last began to deal in wool. Then who 
 made me what I am to-day? (Silence.) 
 
 DAUGHTER (diffidently). The wool? 
 
 MERCHANT (ihwnders forth, in exaltation). The 
 wool ! (Stands motionless, his eyes glassy; soon 
 closes them and lowers his head as if in prayer. 
 Then he opens his eyes and views his audience with 
 high-spirited contentment; he speaks in soft toned 
 ecstasy.) The wool! The wool God! (A gasp 
 of horror rises from his hearers. The WIFE, the 
 MOTHER, the DAUGHTER and a few other women bring 
 their hands to their faces. The men look at each 
 other.) Why do you all sit there so frightened? 
 You imagine that I'm wandering in my speech. You 
 haven't yet understood me. I knew that you would 
 not understand me. I'll explain myself. Know, 
 then, that everything has its own god. The people 
 whom we call primitive and wild knew this. They 
 were nearer to nature and, therefore, knew it. The 
 gods revealed themselves to these primitive folk. 
 Jewish mysticism, too, had a glimpse of this. But it
 
 GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 45 
 
 was too greatly influenced by the belief in a single 
 Jewish God, hence did not attain to the real truth. 
 
 MOTHER. Woe is me. What words are these? 
 
 MERCHANT. I was brought up to believe that 
 everything has its protector in heaven. The truth is, 
 however, that everything has its own god. I have 
 served many a god in my time and none of them de- 
 sired or was able to help me. Not the god of reli- 
 gious study and not the god of teaching; neither the 
 god of boys' trousers nor the god of petticoats. But 
 when I turned to the wool god, he helped me at once. 
 In ten years he made me a multi-millionaire. (Rais- 
 ing his voice and with a remarkable expression in his 
 eyes.) He took me under his protection. He car- 
 ried me as on wings, higher and higher, higher and 
 ever higher 
 
 VOICES (frightened). Oh! Woe, woe! Oh! 
 
 MERCHANT (as if wakened from a trance). Why 
 your cries of "woe, woe"? You still fail to grasp 
 the truth of my words. But I saw the truth long 
 ago. I recognized my true, my only god, who has 
 carried me to my present heights. And I have reared 
 a temple to him in my house and will worship him to 
 the best of my understanding. And all of you, who 
 have been helped by him through me and been raised 
 aloft, will worship him as I do, together with me, if 
 you do not wish to be forsaken by him and me. 
 (The organ commences to play anew. The MER- 
 CHANT turns piously toward the holy ark. Intense 
 unrest prevails in the crowd and the MERCHANT'S 
 WIFE wrings her hands. The MERCHANT places him-
 
 46 GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 
 
 self between the holy ark and the board that bears the 
 holy scroll; the board has during this time been low- 
 ered from the shoulders of the bearers to their girdles; 
 he turns now to the audience and opens the sacred 
 scroll.) Here is the symbol of my god, the embodi- 
 ment of his divinity. (Replaces the scroll upon the 
 board, removes the cover of the scroll, also the inner 
 wrapping and unrolls the scroll. He holds it aloft, 
 spread out, each handle above his head. The scroll 
 turns out to be a white roll of wool.) This, this is 
 the god that elevated me to my present state. This 
 is the god that from now on you will have to worship 
 together with me ! Through him are we all what we 
 are to-day ! He has made us rich. He 1 i,s made us 
 strong. He the good god, the sweet god, the loving 
 god ! Him shall we love ; him shall we kiss ; him shall 
 we embrace; him shall we worship with pious dance. 
 (He works himself into an increasing ecstatic frenzy, 
 drowning with his cries the mightiest fortissimo of the 
 organ, and at last he breaks into singing at the top 
 of his voice, executing at the same time various dance 
 gestures.) There is no god like our god! There is 
 no lord like our lord! . . . (The terror and unrest 
 of the audience now reach their highest pitch; here 
 and there cries are heard, until at last the shouting 
 becomes general. " He is mad! He has gone in- 
 sane! " The DAUGHTER becomes hysterical; the 
 WIFE wails, wringing her hands in despair; the 
 MOTHER tears her hair; all have left their places and 
 gathered into a group of frightened, shouting, ges- 
 ticulating persons; above all the din resound the high-
 
 GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 47 
 
 est notes of the organ; only the men upon the altar, 
 the USHERS and the BUTLER remain calmly m their 
 places during the commotion.) 
 
 SON (says something to one of the GUESTS ; the lat- 
 ter dashes out. The SON then turns to his mother, 
 sister and grandmother, soothing them with a caress- 
 ing hand; he is pale and upset, and does not remove 
 his glance from his father). 
 
 MERCHANT (looks about once again as if wakened 
 from a trance, and cries out). Silence! (The or- 
 gan and the crowd become suddenly still, thus bring- 
 ing out in greater relief the hysterical weeping of the 
 DAUGHTER, the wailing of the WIFE and the MOTH- 
 ER'S despairing groans. The MERCHANT lowers the 
 scroll of wool slowly to the board and cries again.) 
 Silence I What sort of words are these? How did 
 you dare to speak thus? Why this sudden outburst 
 of shouting? Why this weeping? Why this tearing 
 of hair? Why this wringing of hands? Why this 
 fright? Does a madman speak as I have spoken to 
 you? I merely wanted to open your eyes. Why do 
 you refuse to understand that I have discovered a 
 truth that you, too, must grasp? Have I not ex- 
 pressed myself clearly? Is anything lacking in my 
 logic? Have I been speaking meaningless words, 
 without any coherence at all? Do the preachers and 
 revivalists speak more clearly than I? Have they 
 any better proofs than I? Think the matter over 
 well, try to understand me, but don't say that I'm in- 
 sane. Don't be like all the others, who call him crazy 
 whom they do not understand. Or is it better for
 
 48 GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 
 
 you that you should call me mad? I do not believe 
 that such a course is to your best interest. Our busi- 
 ness still has great need of me. I am still the chosen 
 one of our god. Therefore, it is better for you all to 
 do as I say. Be seated and hear what I have to say 
 further. (The GUESTS, with the help of the USHERS, 
 find their seats again, but they are still perturbed, 
 their fright showing in their eyes. The WIFE, the 
 DAUGHTER and the MOTHER can scarcely restrain 
 themselves. The SON looks impatiently at the left- 
 hand door.) Behold. This is the symbol of our 
 god! White wool upon gilded handles. It will re- 
 main here in the holy ark, garbed in its cloak. At 
 our services we must all be dressed in wool. Just like 
 me and the gentlemen here. I in white, because I 
 count myself the High Priest. We shall have other 
 colors, however, besides white and red. We shall in- 
 stitute various degrees, and every degree will have 
 its distinguishing color. We shall pray without 
 words ; with dance alone. We shall have only a few 
 hymns. With song and dance we shall remove our 
 wool-god from the holy ark ; with song and dance we 
 will carry him about. . . . Don't look at me like that. 
 The world has become godless because we have lost the 
 right road to the gods. I have found my god and the 
 right road to him. Who will follow me upon the true 
 path? Who will be a convert to the truth that I 
 have discovered? Who will serve with me our true 
 lord? Who? Who? Who? See, the wool-god 
 has made us rich ! He has made our day bright, he 
 has raised us from the mire and has set us among the
 
 GOD OF THE NEWLY RICH WOOL MERCHANT 49 
 
 most exalted ! He has filled us with joy and fortune. 
 He has . . . 
 
 THE DOCTOR (enters, accompanied by the GUEST 
 that was dispatched after him). 
 
 MERCHANT (suddenly breaks off speaking; his eyes 
 distend and his mouth opens wide. All at once he 
 exclaims, wildly). Who sent for the doctor? Who 
 called the doctor? Out! Out! Everybody! (To 
 the USHERS. ) Drive them all out ! ( The GUESTS 
 spring up from their seats and make a dash for the 
 door to the left. The BUTLER and the USHER thrust 
 them out and close the door.) Out! You godless 
 wretches ! You infidels ! You traitors ! You in- 
 grates! Out! Out! Out! (Runs down from the 
 altar with loud outcry.) Out! out! (Attacks the 
 BUTLER and the USHER, who escape through the 
 right-hand door. Then he makes for the men who 
 are standing upon the altar platform. The bearers 
 of the scroll drop the board, and the eight men take 
 to flight through the right door. The MERCHANT 
 turns about like a wheel, waving his hands and kicking 
 about.) Out! Out! (With the wild growling of 
 a dog he bites his own hands, tears his surplice, scat- 
 ters the benches in disorder. Soon he becomes weary 
 and exhausted, breathing heavily. He looks around, 
 approaches tl e altar and sinks to his knees before the 
 wool-god.) Dear god! Good god! Sweet god! 
 
 DOCTOR (accompanied by several servants, steals 
 cautiously into the room). 
 
 CURTAIN
 
 A DOLLAR 
 A Comedy
 
 PERSONS 
 
 The Characters are given in the order of their ap- 
 pearance. 
 
 THE COMEDIAN 
 
 THE VILLAIN 
 
 THE TRAGEDIAN 
 
 ACTOR who plays " OLD MAN " role 
 
 THE HEROINE 
 
 THE INGENUE 
 
 ACTRESS who plays " OLD WOMAN " role 
 
 THE STRANGER
 
 A DOLLAR 
 
 A cross-roads at the edge of a forest. One road ex- 
 tends from left to right; the other crosses the first 
 diagonally, disappearing into the forest. The 
 roadside is bordered with grass. On the right, at. 
 the crossing, stands a signpost, to which are nailed 
 two boards giving directions and distances. 
 
 The afternoon of a summer day. A troupe of 
 stranded strolling players enters from the left. 
 They are ragged and weary. THE COMKDIAN 
 walks first, holding a valise in each hand, followed 
 by the VILLAIN carrying over his arms two huge 
 bundles wrapped in bed sheets. Immediately be- 
 hind these the TRAGEDIAN and the " OLD MAN " 
 carrying together a large heavy trunk. 
 
 COMEDIAN (stepping toward the signpost, reading 
 the directions on the boards, and explaining to the 
 approaching fellow actors). That way (pointing to 
 right and swinging the valise to indicate the direc- 
 tion) is thirty miles. This way (pointing to left) is 
 forty-five and that way it is thirty-six. Now 
 choose for yourself the town that you'll never reach 
 today. The nearest way for us is back to where we 
 came from, whence we were escorted with the most 
 splendid catcalls that ever crowned our histrionic 
 successes. 
 
 53
 
 54 A DOLLAR 
 
 VILLAIN (exhausted). Who will lend me a hand to 
 wipe off my perspiration? It has a nasty way of 
 streaming into my mouth. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Stand on your head, then, and let 
 your perspiration water a more fruitful soil. 
 
 VILLAIN. Oh ! (He drops his arms, the bundles 
 fall down. He then sinks down onto one of them and 
 wipes off the perspiration, moving his hand wearily 
 over his face. The TRAGEDIAN and the " OLD MAN " 
 approach the post and read the signs.) 
 
 TRAGEDIAN (in a deep dramatic voice). It's hope- 
 less ! It's hopeless! (He lets go his end of the 
 trunk.) 
 
 " OLD MAN " (lets go his end of the trunk). Mm. 
 Another stop. 
 
 (TRAGEDIAN sits himself down on the trunk in a 
 tragico-heroic pose, knees wide apart, right elbow on 
 right knee, left hand on left leg, head slightly bent to- 
 ward the right. COMEDIAN puts down the valises and 
 rolls a cigarette. The " OLD MAN " also sits down 
 upon the trunk, head sunk upon his breast.) 
 
 VILLAIN. Thirty miles to the nearest town ! 
 Thirty miles ! 
 
 COMEDIAN. It's an outrage how far people move 
 their towns away from us. 
 
 VILLAIN. We won't strike a town until the day 
 after tomorrow. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Hurrah! That's luck for you! 
 There's yet a day-after-tomorrow for us. 
 
 VILLAIN. And the old women are still far behind 
 us. Crawling !
 
 A DOLLAR 55 
 
 " OLD MAN." They want the vote and they can't 
 even walk. 
 
 COMEDIAN. We won't give them votes, that's set- 
 tled. Down with votes for women ! 
 
 VILLAIN. It seems the Devil himself can't take 
 you ! Neither your tongue nor your feet ever get 
 tired. You get on my nerves. Sit down and shut up 
 for a moment. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Me? Ha ha ! I'm going back 
 there to the lady of my heart. I'll meet her and fetch 
 her hither in my arms. (He spits on his hands, turns 
 up his sleeves, and strides rapidly off towards the 
 left.) 
 
 VILLAIN. Clown ! 
 
 " OLD MAN." How can he laugh and play his 
 pranks even now? We haven't a cent to our souls, 
 our supply of food is running low and our shoes are 
 dilapidated. 
 
 TRAGEDIAN (with an outburst). Stop it! No 
 reckoning ! The number of our sins is great and the 
 tale of our misfortunes is even greater. Holy Fa- 
 ther ! Our flasks are empty ; I'd give what is left of 
 our soles (display wig his ragged shoes) for just a 
 smell of whiskey. (From the left is heard the laugh- 
 ter of a woman. Enter the COMEDIAN carrying in 
 his arms the HEROINE, who has her hands around his 
 neck and holds a satchel in both hands behind his 
 back.) 
 
 COMEDIAN (letting his burden down upon the 
 grass). Sit down, my love, and rest up. We go no 
 further today. Your feet, your tender little feet
 
 56 A DOLLAR 
 
 must ache you. How unhappy that makes me ! At 
 the first opportunity I shall buy you an automobile. 
 
 HEROINE. And in the meantime you may carry 
 me oftener. 
 
 COMEDIAN. The beast of burden hears and obeys. 
 (Enter the INGENUE and the " OLD WOMAN " each 
 carrying a small satchel.) 
 
 INGENUE (weary and pouting). Ah! No one 
 carried me. (She sits on the grass to the right of 
 the HEROINE.) 
 
 VILLAIN. We have only one ass with u ( s. 
 
 COMEDIAN (stretches himself out at the feet of the 
 HEROINE and emits the bray of a donkey. " OLD 
 WOMAN " sits down on the grass to the left of the 
 HEROINE.) 
 
 " OLD WOMAN." And are we to pass the night 
 here ? 
 
 "OLD MAN." No, we shall stop at "Hotel 
 Neverwas." 
 
 COMEDIAN. Don't you like our night's lodgings? 
 (Turning over toward the " OLD WOMAN ".) See, 
 the bed is broad and wide, and certainly without ver- 
 min. Just feel the high grass. Such a soft bed you 
 never slept in. And you shall have a cover em- 
 broidered with the moon and stars, a cover such as no 
 royal bride ever possessed. 
 
 " OLD WOMAN." You're laughing, and I feel like 
 crying. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Crying? You should be ashamed of 
 the sun which favors you with its' setting splendor. 
 Look, and be inspired !
 
 A DOLLAR 57 
 
 VILLAIN. Yes, look and expire. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Look, and shout with ecstasy! 
 
 " OLD MAN." Look, and burst ! 
 
 INGENUE (starts sobbing. TRAGEDIAN laughs 
 heavily). 
 
 COMEDIAN (turning over to the INGENUE). What. 
 You are crying? Aren't you ashamed of yourself? 
 
 INGENUE. I'm sad. 
 
 " OLD WOMAN " (sniffling). I can't stand it any 
 longer. 
 
 HEROINE. Stop it ! Or I'll start bawling, too. 
 (COMEDIAN springs to his knees and looks quickly 
 from one woman to the other.) 
 
 VILLAIN. Ha ha 1 Cheer them up, Clown ! 
 
 COMEDIAN (jumps up abruptly without the aid of 
 his hands). Ladies and Gentlemen, I have it! (In 
 a measured and singing voice.) Ladies and Gentle- 
 men, I have it! 
 
 HEROINE. What have you? 
 
 COMEDIAN. Cheerfulness. 
 
 VILLAIN. Go bury yourself, Clown. 
 
 TRAGEDIAN (as before). Ho-Ho-Ho. 
 
 " OLD MAN." P-o-o-h ! ( The women weep all 
 the louder.) 
 
 COMEDIAN. I have a bottle of whiskey ! 
 
 (General commotion. The women stop crying and 
 look up to the COMEDIAN in amazement; the TRA- 
 GEDIAN straightens himself out and casts a surprised 
 look at the COMEDIAN ; the " OLD MAN ", rubbing his 
 hands, jumps to his feet; the VILLAJN looks sus- 
 piciously at the COMEDIAN.)
 
 58 A DOLLAR 
 
 TRAGEDIAN. A bottle of whiskey? 
 
 "OLD MAN." He He He A bottle of 
 whiskey. 
 
 VILLAIN. Hum whiskey. 
 
 COMEDIAN. You bet ! A bottle of whiskey, hid- 
 den and preserved for such moments as this, a mo- 
 ment of masculine depression and feminine tears. 
 (Taking the flask from his hip pocket. The expres- 
 sion on the faces of all changes from hope to disap- 
 pointment. ) 
 
 VILLAIN. You call that a bottle. I call it a flask. 
 
 TRAGEDIAN (explosively). A thimble! 
 
 " OLD MAN." A dropper ! 
 
 " OLD WOMAN." For seven of us 1 Oh ! 
 
 COMEDIAN (letting the flask sparkle in the sun). 
 But it's whiskey, my children. (Opening the flask 
 and smelling it. ) U-u-u-m ! That's whiskey for 
 you. The saloonkeeper from whom I hooked it will 
 become a teetotaler from sheer despair. (TRAGE- 
 DIAN rising heavily and slowly proceeding towards the 
 flask. VILLAIN still skeptical and rising as if unwill- 
 ing. The " OLD MAN " chuckling and rubbing his 
 hands. The " OLD WOMAN " getting up indiffer- 
 ently and moving apathetically toward the flask. 
 The HEROINE and INGENUE hold each other by the 
 hand and take ballet steps in waltz time. All ap- 
 proach the COMEDIAN with necks eagerly stretched 
 out and smell the flask, which the COMEDIAN holds 
 firmly in both hands.) 
 
 TRAGEDIAN. Ho-Ho-Ho Fine !
 
 A DOLLAR 59 
 
 "OLD MAN." He He Small quantity, but 
 excellent quality ! 
 
 VILLAIN. Seems to be good whiskey. 
 
 HEROINE (dancing and singing). My Comedian, 
 My Comedian. His head is in the right place. But 
 why didn't you nab a larger bottle? 
 
 COMEDIAN. Oh Beloved One, I had to take in con- 
 sideration both the quality of the whiskey and the 
 size of my pocket. 
 
 " OLD WOMAN." If only there's enough of it to 
 go round. 
 
 INGENUE. Oh, I'm feeling sad again. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Cheer up, there will be enough for us 
 all. Cheer up. Here, smell it again. (They smell 
 again and cheerfulness reappears. They join hands 
 and dance and sing, forming a circle, the COMEDIAN 
 applauding.) 
 
 COMEDIAN. Good ! If you are so cheered after a 
 mere smell of it, what won't you feel like after a drink. 
 Wait, I'll join you. (He hides the whiskey flask in 
 his pocket.) I'll show you a new roundel which we 
 will perform in our next presentation of Hamlet, to 
 the great edification of our esteemed audience. 
 (Kicking the VILLAIN'S bundles out of the way.) 
 The place is clear, now for dance and play. Join 
 hands and form a circle, but you, Villain, stay on the 
 outside of it. You are to try to get in and we dance 
 and are not to let you in, without getting out of step. 
 Understand? Now then! (The circle is formed in
 
 60 A DOLLAR 
 
 the following order, COMEDIAN, HEROINE, TRAGE- 
 DIAN, " OiD WOMAN," " OLD MAN," INGENUE.) 
 COMEDIAN (singing} : 
 
 To be or not to be, that is the question, 
 That is the question, that is the question. 
 
 He who would enter in, 
 Climb he must over us, 
 
 If over he cannot, 
 
 He must get under us. 
 
 REFRAIN 
 
 Tra-la-la, tra-la-la, 
 
 Over us, under us. 
 Tra-la-la, tra-la-la, 
 
 Under us, over us. 
 Now we are jolly, jolly are we. 
 
 (The COMEDIAN sings the refrain alone at first and 
 the others repeat it together with him.) 
 COMEDIAN. 
 
 To be or not to be, that is the question, 
 That is the question, that is the question. 
 
 In life to win success, 
 
 Elbow your way through, 
 
 Jostle the next one, 
 
 Else you will be jostled. 
 
 REFRAIN 
 
 (Same as before)
 
 A DOLLAR 61 
 
 (On the last word of the refrain they stop as if 
 dumbfounded, and stand transfixed, with eyes di- 
 rected on one spot inside of the ring. The VILLAIN 
 leans over the arms of the COMEDIAN and the HERO- 
 INE ; gradually the circle draws closer till their heads 
 almost touch. They attempt to free their hands but 
 each holds on to the other and all seven whisper in 
 great astonishment.) 
 
 ALL. A dollar ! 
 
 (The circle opens up agam, they look each at the 
 other and shout in wonder.) 
 
 ALL. A dollar ! 
 
 (Once more they close in and the struggle to free 
 their hands grows wilder; the VILLAIN tries to climb 
 over and then under the hands into the circle and 
 stretches out his hand toward the dollar, but instinc- 
 tively he is stopped by the couple he tries to pass be- 
 tween, even when he is not seen but only felt. Again 
 all lean their heads over the dollar, quite lost in the 
 contemplation of it, and whispering, enraptured.) 
 
 ALL. A dollar ! 
 
 (Separating once again they look at each other 
 with exultation and at the same time try to free their 
 hands, once more exclaiming in ecstasy.) 
 
 ALL. A dollar ! 
 
 (Then the struggle to get free grows wilder and 
 wilder. The hand that is perchance freed is quickly 
 grasped again by the one who held it.) 
 
 INGENUE (in pain). Oh, my hands, my hands! 
 You'll break them. Let go of my hands ! 
 
 " OLD WOMAN." If you don't let go of my hands
 
 62 A DOLLAR 
 
 I'll bite. (Attempting to bite the hands of the 
 TRAGEDIAN and the " OLD MAN ", while they try to 
 prevent it.) 
 
 " OLD MAN " ( trying to free his hands from the 
 hold of the HEROINE and the " OLD WOMAN "). Let 
 go of me. (Pulling at both his hands.) These 
 women's hands that seem so frail, just look at them 
 now. 
 
 HEROINE (to COMEDIAN). But you let go my 
 hands. 
 
 COMEDIAN. I think it's you who are holding fast 
 to mine. 
 
 HEROINE. Why should I be holding you? If you 
 pick up the dollar, what is yours is mine, you know. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Then let go of my hand and I'll pick 
 it up. 
 
 HEROINE. No, I'd rather pick it up myself. 
 
 COMEDIAN. I expected something like that from 
 you. 
 
 HEROINE (angrily). Let go of my hands, that's 
 all. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Ha-Ha-Ha It's a huge joke. (In 
 a tone of command.) Be quiet. (They become 
 still.) We must contemplate the dollar with reli- 
 gious reverence. (Commotion.) Keep quiet, I say ! 
 A dollar is spread out before us. A real dollar 
 in the midst of our circle, and everything within us 
 draws us towards it, draws us on irresistibly. Be 
 quiet ! Remember you are before the Ruler, before 
 the Almighty. On your knees before Him and pray. 
 On your knees. (Sinks down on his knees and drags
 
 A DOLLAR 63 
 
 with him the HEROINE and INGENUE. " OLD MAN " 
 dropping on his knees and dragging the " OLD 
 WOMAN " with him.) 
 
 " OLD MAN." He-He-He. 
 
 TRAGEDIAN. Ho-Ho-Ho, Clown! 
 
 COMEDIAN (to TRAGEDIAN). You are not worthy 
 of the serious mask you wear. You don't appreciate 
 true Divine Majesty. On your knees, or you'll get 
 no whiskey. (TRAGEDIAN sinks heavily on his 
 knees. ) Oh holy dollar, oh almighty ruler of the 
 universe, before thee we kneel in the dust and send 
 toward thee our most tearful and heartfelt prayers. 
 Our hands are bound, but our hearts strive toward 
 thee and our souls yearn for thee. Oh great king of 
 kings, thou who bringest together those who are sepa- 
 rated, and separatest those Who are near, thou 
 who (The VILLAIN, who is standing aside, takes a 
 full jump, clears the INGENUE and grasps the dollar. 
 All let go of one another and fall upon him, shouting, 
 screaming, pushing and fighting. Finally the VIL- 
 LAIN manages to free himself, holding the dollar in 
 his right fist. The others follow him with clenched 
 fists, glaring eyes and foaming mouths, wildly shout- 
 ing.) 
 
 ALL. The dollar! The dollar! The dollar! 
 Return the dollar! 
 
 VILLAIN (retreating). You can't take it away 
 from me, it's mine. It was lying under my bundle. 
 
 ALL. Give up the dollar ! Give up the dollar. 
 
 VILLAIN (in great rage). No, No. (A moment 
 during which the opposing sides look at each other in
 
 64 A DOLLAR 
 
 hatred. Quietly but with malice.) Moreover, whom 
 should I give it to ? To you you you you ? 
 
 COMEDIAN. Ha-ha-ha-ha. He is right, the dollar 
 is his. He has it, therefore it is his. Ha-ha-ha-ha, 
 and I wanted to crawl on my knees toward the dollar 
 and pick it up with my teeth. Ha-ha-ha-ha, but he 
 got ahead of me, Ha-ha-ha-ha. 
 
 HEROINE (whispering in rage). That's because 
 you would not let go of me. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Ha-ha-ha-ha. 
 
 TRAGEDIAN (shaking his fist m the face of the 
 VILLAIN). Heaven and hell, I feel like crushing you ! 
 (He steps aside toward the trunk and sits down in his 
 former pose. INGENUE, lying down on the grass, 
 starts to cry.) 
 
 COMEDIAN. Ha-ha-ha. Now we will drink, and 
 the first drink is the Villain's. (His proposition is 
 accepted in gloom; the INGENUE, however, stops cry- 
 ing; the " OLD MAN " and the " OLD WOMAN " have 
 been standing by the VILLAIN looking at the dollar in 
 his hand as if waiting for the proper moment to 
 snatch it from him. Finally the " OLD WOMAN " 
 makes a contemptuous gesture and both turn aside 
 from the VILLAIN. The latter, left in peace, smooths 
 out the dollar, with a serious expression on his 
 face. The COMEDIAN hands him a small glass of 
 whiskey. ) 
 
 COMEDIAN. Drink, lucky one. (The VILLAIN, 
 shutting the dollar in his fist, takes the whiskey glass 
 gravely and quickly drinks the contents, returning 
 the glass. He then starts to smooth and caress the
 
 A DOLLAR 6& 
 
 dollar ogam. The COMEDIAN, sttti laughing, passes 
 the whiskey glass from one to the other of the com- 
 pany, who drink sullenly. The whiskey fails to cheer 
 them. After drinking, the INGENUE begins to sob 
 again. The HEROINE who is served last throws the 
 empty whiskey glass towards the COMEDIAN.) 
 
 COMEDIAN. Good shot. Now I'll drink up all 
 that's left in the bottle. (He puts the flask to his 
 lips and drinks. The HEROINE tries to knock it away 
 from him but he skillfully evades her. The VILLAIN 
 continues to smooth and caress the dollar.) 
 
 VILLAIN. Ha-ha-ha . . . (Singing and dancing.) 
 
 He who would enter in, 
 Jump he must over us. 
 
 Ho-ho-ho. Oh Holy dollar ! Oh Almighty Ruler 
 of the World ! ... Oh King of Kings ! Ha-ha-ha. 
 . . . Don't you all think if I have the dollar and you 
 have it not that I partake a bit of its majesty? 
 That means that I am now a part of its majesty. 
 That means that I am the Almighty dollar's plenipo- 
 tentiary and therefore I am the Almighty Ruler him- 
 self. On your knees before me ! . . . He-he-he. . . . 
 
 COMEDIAN (after throwing away the empty flask 
 lies down on the grass). Well roared, lion, but you 
 forgot to hide your jackass's ears. 
 
 VILLAIN. It is one's consciousness of power. 
 He-he-he. I know and you know that if I have the 
 money, I have the say. Remember, none of you has 
 a cent to his name. The whiskey is gone. (Picking 
 up the flask and examining it.)
 
 66 A DOLLAR 
 
 COMEDIAN. I did my job well. Drank it to the 
 last drop. 
 
 VILLAIN. Yes, to the last drop. This evening 
 you shall have bread and sausage. Very small por- 
 tions too, for tomorrow is another day. (INGENUE 
 sobbing more frequently). Not till the day after 
 tomorrow shall we reach town and that doesn't mean 
 that you .get anything to eat there either, but I I 
 I he-he-he. Oh holy dollar, almighty dollar. 
 (Gravely.) He who does my bidding shall not be 
 without food. 
 
 COMEDIAN (with wide open eyes). What? Ha- 
 ha-ha. (INGENUE gets up and throws herself on the 
 VILLAIN'S bosom.) 
 
 INGENUE. Oh my dear beloved one. 
 
 VILLAIN. Ha-ha, my power already makes itself 
 felt. 
 
 HEROINE (pushing the INGENUE away). Let go of 
 him, you. He sought my love for a long time and 
 now he shall have it. 
 
 COMEDIAN. What? You! 
 
 HEROINE (to COMEDIAN). I hate you, traitor. 
 (To the VILLAIN.) I have always loved genius. 
 You are now the wisest of the wise. I adore you. 
 
 VILLAIN (holding INGENUE in one arm). Come 
 into my other arm. (HEROINE throwing herself into 
 his arms, kissing and embracing him.) 
 
 COMEDIAN (half rising on his knees). Stop, I 
 protest. (Throwing himself on the grass.) " O 
 frailty, thy name is woman." 
 
 " OLD WOMAN " (approachmg the VILLAIN from
 
 A DOLLAR 67 
 
 behind and embracing him). Find a little spot on 
 your bosom for me. I play the " Old Woman," but 
 you know I'm not really old. 
 
 VILLAIN. Now I have all of power and all of love. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Don't call it love. Call it servility. 
 
 VILLAIN (freeing himself from the women). But 
 now I have something more important to carry out. 
 My vassals I mean you all I have decided we 
 will not stay here over night. We will proceed fur- 
 ther. 
 
 WOMEN. How so? 
 
 VILLAIN. We go forward tonight. 
 
 COMEDIAN. You have so decided? 
 
 VILLAIN. I have so decided, and that in itself 
 should be enough for you ; but due to an old habit I 
 shall explain to you why I have so decided. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Keep your explanation to yourself 
 and better not disturb my contemplation of the sun- 
 set. 
 
 VILLAIN. I'll put you down on the blacklist. It 
 will go ill with you for your speeches against me. 
 Now then, without an explanation, we will go and 
 at once. (Nobody stirs.) Very well then, I go 
 alone. 
 
 WOMEN. No, no. 
 
 VILLAIN. What do you mean? 
 
 INGENUE. I go with you. 
 
 HEROINE. And I. 
 
 "OLD WOMAN." And I. 
 
 VILLAIN. Your loyalty gratifies me very much. 
 
 " OLD MAN " (who is sitting apathetically upon
 
 68 A DOLLAR 
 
 the trunk). What the deuce is urging you to go? 
 
 VILLAIN. I wanted to explain it to you, but now 
 no more. I owe you no explanations. I have de- 
 cided I wish to go, and that is sufficient. 
 
 COMEDIAN. He plays his comedy wonderfully. 
 Would you ever have suspected that there was so 
 much wit in his cabbage head? 
 
 WOMEN (making love to the VILLAIN). Oh you 
 darling. 
 
 TRAGEDIAN (majestically). I wouldn't give him 
 even a single glance. 
 
 VILLAIN. Still another on the blacklist. I'll tell 
 you this much I have decided 
 
 COMEDIAN. Ha-ha-ha. How long will you keep 
 this up? 
 
 VILLAIN. We start at once, but if I am to pay for 
 your food I will not carry any baggage. You shall 
 divide my bundles among you and of course those who 
 are on the blacklist will get the heaviest share. You 
 heard me. Now move on. I'm going now. We will 
 proceed to the nearest town which is thirty miles 
 away. Now then, I am off. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Brfn voyage. 
 
 VILLAIN. And with me fares His Majesty the 
 Dollar and your meals for tomorrow. 
 
 WOMEN. We are coming, we are coming. 
 
 " OLD MAN." I'll go along. 
 
 TRAGEDIAN (to the VILLAIN). You're a scoundrel 
 and a mean fellow. 
 
 VILLAIN. I am no fellow of yours. I am master 
 and breadgiver.
 
 A DOLLAR 69 
 
 TRAGEDIAN. I'll crush you in a moment. 
 
 VILLAIN. What? You threaten me! Let's go. 
 (Turns to right. The women take their satchels and 
 follow him.) 
 
 "OLD MAN" (to the TRAGEDIAN). Get up and 
 take the trunk. We will settle the score with him 
 some other time. It is he who has the dollar now. 
 
 TRAGEDIAN (rising and shaking his fist). I'll 
 get him yet. (He takes his side of the trunk.) 
 
 VILLAIN (to TRAGEDIAN). First put one of my 
 bundles on your back. 
 
 TRAGEDIAN (in rage). One of your bundles on 
 my back? 
 
 VILLAIN. Oh, for all I care you can put it on 
 your head, or between your teeth. 
 
 " OLD MAN." We will put the bundle on the 
 trunk. 
 
 COMEDIAN (sitting up). Look here, are you jok- 
 ing or are you in earnest? 
 
 VILLAIN (contemptuously). I never joke. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Then you are in earnest? 
 
 VILLAIN. I'll make no explanations. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Do you really think that because you 
 have the dollar 
 
 VILLAIN. The holy dollar, the almighty dollar, 
 the king of kings. 
 
 COMEDIAN (continuing). That therefore you are 
 the master 
 
 VILLAIN. Bread-giver and provider. 
 
 COMEDIAN. And that we must 
 
 VILLAIN. Do what I bid you to.
 
 70 A DOLLAR 
 
 COMEDIAN. So you are in earnest? 
 
 VILLAIN. You just get up, take the baggage and 
 follow me. 
 
 COMEDIAN (rising). Then, I declare a revolu- 
 tion. 
 
 VILLAIN. What? A revolution! 
 
 COMEDIAN. A bloody one, if need be. 
 
 TRAGEDIAN (dropping his end of the trunk and 
 advancing with a bellicose attitude toward the VIL- 
 LAIN). And I shall be the first to let your blood, you 
 scoundrel. 
 
 VILLAIN. If that's the case I have nothing to say 
 to you. Those who wish, come along. 
 
 COMEDIAN (getting in his way). No, you shall 
 not go until you give up the dollar. 
 
 VILLAIN. Ha-ha. It is to laugh ! 
 
 COMEDIAN. The dollar please, or 
 
 VILLAIN. He-he-he. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Then let there be blood. (Turns up 
 his sleeves.) 
 
 TRAGEDIAN (taking off his coat). Ah! Blood, 
 blood! 
 
 " OLD MAN " (dropping his end of the trunk). 
 I'm not going to keep out of a fight. 
 
 WOMEN (dropping their satchels). Nor we. 
 Nor we. 
 
 VILLAIN (shouting). To whom shall I give up the 
 dollar? You you you you? 
 
 COMEDIAN. This argument will not work any 
 more. You are to give the dollar up to all of us.
 
 A DOLLAR 71 
 
 At the first opportunity we'll get change and divide 
 it into equal parts. 
 
 WOMEN. Hurrah, Hurrah ! Divide it, Divide it. 
 
 COMEDIAN (to VILLAIN). And I will even be so 
 good as to give you a share. 
 
 TRAGEDIAN. I'd rather give him a sound thrash- 
 ing. 
 
 COMEDIAN. It shall be as I say. Give up thr 
 dollar. 
 
 HEROINE (thrc, K 4 ng herself on the COMEDIAN'S 
 breast). Mv come dj an } My comedian ! 
 
 IxaEN- E ( to fjie Vn^Ajjf). i m s i c k of you. 
 
 () the dollar. 
 
 'COMEDIAN (pushing the HEROINE aside). You 
 better step aside or else you may get the punch I 
 at the master and breadgiver. (To the VIL- 
 LAIN.) Come up with the dollar! 
 
 TRAGEDIAN. Give up the dollar to him, do you 
 hear ? 
 
 ALL. The dollar, the dollar! 
 
 VILLAIN. I'll tear it to pieces. 
 
 COMEDIAN. Then we shall tear out what little 
 hair you have left on your head. The dollar, quick ! 
 (They surround the VILLAIN; the women puU his hair; 
 the TRAGEDIAN grabs him by the collar and shakes 
 him; the " OLD MAN " strikes him on his bald pate; 
 the COMEDIAN struggles with him and finally grasps 
 the dollar. 
 
 COMEDIAN (holding up the dollar.) I have it! 
 (The women dance and sing.)
 
 72 A DOLLAR 
 
 VILLAIN. Bandits ! Thieves ! 
 TRAGEDIAN. Silence, or I'll shut your mouth. 
 (Goes back to the trunk and assumes his heroic 
 
 pose.) 
 
 COMEDIAN (putting the dollar into his pocket). 
 That's what I call a successful and a bloodless revolu- 
 tion, except for a little fright and heart palpitation 
 on ** part of the late master and bread giver. 
 isten, someone is ciiming. T^aps he'll be able to 
 
 Listen, someone is ciiming. 
 
 change the dollar and then we can dlvide ' 
 
 " OLD MAN." I am puzzled how we ca n change 
 into equal parts. (Starts to calculate a^ 
 INGENUE and the " OLD WOMAN.") 
 
 HEROINE (tenderly attentive to the COMEDIAN). 
 You are angry with me, but I was only playing with 
 him so as to wheedle the dollar out of him. 
 
 COMEDIAN. And now you want to trick me out of 
 my share of it. 
 
 " OLD MAN." It is impossible to divide it into 
 equal parts. It is absolutely impossible. If it were 
 ninety-eight cents or one-hundred and five cents 
 or 
 
 (The STRANGER enters -from the Right, perceives 
 the company, greets it and continues his way to left. 
 COMEDIAN stops him.) 
 
 COMEDIAN. I beg your pardon, sir; perhaps you 
 have change of a dollar in dimes, nickels, and pennies. 
 (Showing the dollar. The " OLD MAN " and women 
 step forward.) 
 
 STRANGER (getting slightly nervous, starts some- 
 what, makes a quick movement for his pistol pocket,
 
 A DOLLAR 
 
 looks at the COMEDIAN and the others and says 
 slowly). Change of a dollar? (Moving from the 
 circle to left.) I believe I have. 
 WOMEN. Hurrah ! 
 
 STRANGER ( turns so that no one is behind him and 
 pulls his revolver). Hands up! 
 
 COMEDIAN (in a gentle tone of voice). My dear 
 gir, we are altogether peaceful folk. 
 
 STRANGER (takes, the dotiar from' lite COMEDIAN'S 
 hand and walk.*^ backwards to left with the pistol 
 pointed a'^ the group.) Good night, everybody. 
 (He ^^appears, me actors remain dumb with fear, 
 v j<;th their hands up, mouths wide-open and staring 
 into space.) 
 
 COMEDIAN (finally breaks out into thunderous 
 laughter). Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. 
 
 ' 
 
 CURTAIN

 
 CRIPPLES 
 A Comedy
 
 PERSONS 
 
 FIRST CRIPPLE 
 SECOND CRIPPLE 
 THE WORKINGMAN 
 THE SOLDIER 
 THE SEXTON 
 
 TIME AND PLACE: When and where you please.
 
 CRIPPLES 
 
 A city square; the entrance to a large church. It is 
 long before dawn; from the lantern over the door 
 comes a pale light. 
 
 FIRST CRIPPLE (a maimed arm and a disabled foot, 
 is huddled close to the wall, at the right of the church- 
 door). 
 
 SECOND CRIPPLE (similarly afflicted, issues from 
 the darkness of the square and becomes visible m the 
 light from the lantern. He notices the FIRST CRIP- 
 PLE seated before the door and is seized with wild 
 rage). In my place! May flames devour his en- 
 trails ! . . . I'll smash his head ! . . . He's fallen 
 asleep, it seems. . . . I'll soon send you flying into 
 the gutter! . . . (About to seize the FIRST CRIPPLE 
 by a leg). 
 
 FIRST C. (suddenly thrusting him away with his 
 foot, bursts into laughter). 
 
 SECOND C. (falls over, but at once jumps to his 
 feet, ready for a fight). 
 
 FIRST C. (laughing). Fooled you, didn't I? So 
 you'll pull me away, will you? And who came first, 
 ha? Who has the best place? Whose hand will be 
 the first to greet the worshippers when they begin to 
 come out ? Are you looking for stones ? Here ; I've 
 got some ready. Ha, ha, ha. . . . And I've got a 
 
 77
 
 78 CRIPPLES 
 
 cane, too. ... A heavy cane; ha, ha, ha. . . . 
 
 SECOND C. Leave that place at once ! I'll smash 
 your head for you, I tell you ! You louse, son of a 
 bedbug! I'll show you how to kick a fellow away! 
 . . . Get out of that place at once ! 
 
 FIRST C. Really! Indeed! I'll speed away im- 
 mediately. . . . Ha, ha, ha. . . . No use! The 
 place belongs to me. You'll never get it back. . . . 
 After every night-service, who will occupy the best 
 place before the door? I! At every fair who will 
 occupy the best place before the door? I! Whose 
 hand will be stuck out before all others? Mine! 
 This very hand. And into whose hand will the ring- 
 ing coins be first to fall, and most of all? Into mine ! 
 Into this very hand. Ring, ring ! . . . " God bless 
 you." ..." God lengthen your years." ..." May 
 God break your back for you on the very first 
 spot." Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 SECOND C. (almost choking with fury). I. ... 
 I. ... 
 
 FIRST C. The best place. . . . The very first 
 seat. ... A private box. ... A most excellent site ! 
 It feels so good to sit here. ... It feels so good to 
 stand here. . . . Such a rare site. . . . 
 
 SECOND C. It's my place, I say! Away! It's 
 been my place for years. . . . 
 
 FIRST C. Ha, ha. ... A golden place. . . . 
 
 SECOND C. (jumps upon the FIRST CRIPPLE. They 
 engage m a struggle and roll down the steps to the 
 sidewalk). 
 
 A MAN (only one hand, dressed in workingman's
 
 CRIPPLES 79 
 
 clothes, appears suddenly from out of the darkness). 
 Hey ! Hey ! What a fight ! 
 
 SECOND C. (on top of the FIRST C., and beating 
 him with his good hand as if intent upon killing him). 
 Now we'll see who takes the best place before the 
 door ! Now we'll see whose hand will be the first to 
 greet the worshippers ! . . . 
 
 FIRST C. You. . . . You. . . . Just let me free 
 my hand. . . . Wait. . . . Just let me. . . . 
 
 THE WORKINGMAN (looks about, then hastens up 
 the stairs to the choice site before the church door). 
 
 SECOND C. (still punching the FIRST C.). You 
 will. . . . Yes. . . . You will. . . . 
 
 FIRST C. (frees his good arm). Now I'll. . . . 
 Now. . . . (Manages to throw the SECOND C. over. 
 Both spring to their feet, glare furiously at each 
 other, ready for another assault. At this juncture, 
 however, THE WORKINGMAN decides to smoke a ciga- 
 rette; the sudden light from his match attracts the 
 attention of the cripples. They turn their gaze to- 
 ward the church door and notice THE WORKINGMAN 
 in the coveted position; whereupon they both limp u-p 
 the steps to the church door.) 
 
 SECOND C. Hey ! You there ! That isn't your 
 place ! 
 
 W. Not my place? Whose is it, then? 
 
 SECOND C. It's my place ! 
 
 FIRST C. It's mine! 
 
 W. You don't say so! 
 
 SECOND C. It's my place, I tell you ! 
 
 W. Since I'm standing upon it, it's mine.
 
 80 CRIPPLES 
 
 SECOND C. You've no right to be standing on it. 
 I was standing on it. I've been standing on it stead- 
 ily, do you understand? For years and years. It's 
 my place ! 
 
 FIRST C. It's mine ! I sat on it all night long. 
 I guarded it like a dog. I didn't leave it for a mo- 
 ment. All night long. It's my place. Better leave 
 it without making any trouble. 
 
 W. So ! That's how it stands ! 
 
 SECOND C. Better clear out before you get into 
 trouble ! 
 
 W. Ha, ha! (Places his hand upon the face of 
 the SECOND C. and thrusts him away.) Off with you, 
 carrion-face ! 
 
 SECOND C. (falls. As he gets up he looks about 
 for some stones. He is wild with anger). 
 
 FIRST C. (hunts likewise for missiles). 
 
 W. I've a whole heap of stones right here. Right 
 at my feet. You must have had them ready. 
 Thanks. And I see a nice heavy cane here, too. 
 (Grasping the cane.) Not a bad cane at all. A 
 genuine cudgel. Off, you bandits ! 
 
 SECOND C. (retreating). It's my place! It's my 
 place ! 
 
 W. Your place is in hell. In the demon's palace 
 on the devil's tail ; that's where your place is ! 
 
 FIRST C. I lay here all night. What do you 
 mean by seizing it from me? May a three-story 
 bellyache seize you! Who are you, anyway? 
 You're no beggar ! You're a thief, that's what 
 you are! A cut-throat! A pickpocket! You've
 
 CRIPPLES 81 
 
 come to pickpocket the churchgoers ! I'm going to 
 call a policeman ! . . . Thief ! Thief ! . . . 
 
 W. I'll crush that pate of yours and twist your 
 other leg for you ! I'll teach you to cry " Thief ! " 
 I am a workingman ! . . . Do you understand ! I've 
 been a workingman all my life. . . . That's what I 
 was ! . . . Lost my arm at my work. ... So it was 
 all up. . . . No more work. ... So I must beg. 
 . . . You must show respect for me ! Understand ! 
 Respect ! Away from this place ! I've more right to 
 it, understand. I've the right to the very first po- 
 sition. Off with you, eyesores ! Beggars! 
 
 SECOND C. (gasping wildly, at -first at a loss for 
 words, and finally foaming at the mouth, explosively). 
 Did you . . . did . . . did you ever hear such claims 
 to respect ! You botch-toiler, son of a peasant, how 
 dare you approach us? How dare you class your- 
 self in our company ? We are born cripples, I'll have 
 you know. Cripples from our mother's womb, God- 
 given cripples, cripples by the grace of God! We 
 were cripples even when we were in the lap of the 
 Lord. . . . We are chosen cripples ! 
 
 FIRST C. You've been crippled because you were 
 probably drunk at work. . . . Better leave before 
 you have to ! 
 
 SECOND C. Better leave, we say, before we make 
 you! 
 
 A SOLDIER (entering from the darkness, and is- 
 suing commands in the voice of an officer). Halt! 
 Attention ! Right shoulder, forward, march ! ( The 
 three wranglers stare at him.) Away from the place,
 
 82 CRIPPLES 
 
 all three of you! At once, I say! (Making out a 
 uniform in the scant light, the three are intimidated 
 and withdraw from the place. THE SOLDIER now 
 takes possession of the disputed site.) That's the 
 way. It's a good thing you show me proper defer- 
 ence. I lost an eye in the war, an ear, lost three 
 fingers, was wounded in the shoulder ; got a hole 
 in my side and a medal on my breast. Killed thirteen 
 of the enemy. Rescued our flag from them. Got a 
 medal. The general himself pinned it on me, and 
 shook hands with me. But it's a poor soldier you 
 make with only a single eye, so I took to begging. 
 And the place before the door belongs to me. The 
 very first place. If you understand me, then so 
 much the better for you. If not, I would have to 
 show you how the enemy monkeys executed their rab- 
 bits' dash before me. Ha, ha, ha ! . . . (Lights a 
 pipe.) 
 
 FIRST C. The devil ! It's only another beggar ! 
 
 SECOND C. I thought it was a policeman ! The 
 devil take him ! 
 
 W. Here, you, Mr. Hero; the place is not yours. 
 I was standing there. 
 
 SOLDIER. Would you like to try and recapture 
 it, perhaps? 
 
 W. You just bet! 
 
 SOLDIER. You boor ! You bumpkin ! I was a 
 standard-bearer, and an entire company of enemy 
 monkeys, each one stronger than you, was unable 
 to wrest the flag from me ! Do you wish to see how 
 well I can wield this cane, as if it were a trusty
 
 CRIPPLES 83 
 
 sword? (Issues commands to himself.) Fix bayo- 
 nets! Charge! (Places his cane as if it were a 
 bayonet.) Retreat, you band of beggars I I'll stick 
 my bayonet through your belly-buttons, and string 
 you up as on a pitchfork, where all the crows and 
 hounds may devour you. Off with you, pack of 
 womb-bred cripples ! 
 
 W. You can tell that to them ! Not to me. I'm 
 just as good as you are, any day. And even better. 
 I lost my hand in toil. I worked all my life long. 
 Worked since childhood. So that you might go 
 about in idleness. You loafer ! I was maimed at my 
 work. And the place at the door of the church be- 
 longs to me ! 
 
 SOLDIER. Ha, ha ! I'll yield it to you on the in- 
 stant. . . . Ha, ha, ha. . . . But let me tell you this 
 much : You say that you worked for me. Well, do 
 you know what? Then now you can beg for me. 
 All three of you can. I'll permit you to. You 
 should be honored with the task: you'll be begging 
 for a hero ! . . . Ha, ha, ha. . . . But I wouldn't 
 trust you. You're all a band of thieves. Sticky 
 fingers. Attention! Salute! And be honored by 
 my permission to stand within three feet of me. 
 
 W. You good-for-nothing, you ! You worthless 
 wretch ! You hero in drawers ! That place belongs 
 to me, I tell you. I was standing there when the 
 devil brought you here. 
 
 FIRST C. And I was standing there before him. 
 I lay there all night long.
 
 84 CRIPPLES 
 
 SECOND C. And I've been there for years. The 
 place belongs to me ! 
 
 THE SEXTON (appearing at the door). What's 
 the trouble about? Why all this shouting? You 
 are disturbing the worshippers ! You are disturbing 
 the service! 
 
 SECOND C. (excited, clutching at THE SEXTON and 
 speaking to him in the third person). It's a good 
 thing that he appears at this moment ! Now the mat- 
 ter will be settled. He, he will. . . . Let him say 
 whom he always sees in this place at every fair and 
 on every holiday? Have I not been standing here 
 for years and years? Does he recall, when he was 
 appointed sexton, that I was the first to congratulate 
 him and to wish him long years and good health and 
 many weddings and many burials? Does he recall? 
 For years and years. . . . 
 
 FIRST C. (seizing THE SEXTON'S coat and talking 
 close to his face) . But whom did he see in this place 
 to-night at nightfall, before the first worshipper ap- 
 peared ? Whom did he see huddled together here like 
 a dog? But like a dog they drove me away. 
 
 W. Mr. Sexton, I was a toiler, and worked hard 
 all my life; I lost my arm at work. It was caught 
 in the machinery and severed. I was*sober, just as 
 truly as you see me now. I didn't take a drop that 
 day. But I was tired, weary with hard toil. My 
 hands could barely move. And my left arm, ay, 
 ay ! Caught in the wheels. . . . Torn to shreds. 
 Had to have it amputated. And now I must beg. 
 I've a wife and children. Isn't the best place near
 
 CRIPPLES 85 
 
 the door mine, by right? I was already standing 
 there, when along came 
 
 SOLDIER (raising his hand to his hat). A soldier 
 of the fourth company of the eighteenth regiment. 
 Killed thirteen of the enemy rats ; saved our flag. I 
 bear eight wounds and a medal. Then doesn't the 
 beggar's spot belong to me? Why, they themselves 
 yielded it to me. 
 
 FIRST C., SECOND C., W. That's a lie ! That's a 
 lie! 
 
 SOLDIER. I simply issued the order 
 
 THE SEXTON. Hush-sh-sh ! . . . Don't shout ! 
 Let me first know why you should all be disputing for 
 that particular spot, when it makes no difference 
 where you stand? 
 
 FIRST C. What do you mean ! It's really the 
 best place! It is. ... It is. ... (In a pious man- 
 ner.) It is close to the churchdoor, so that it's 
 easier to hear God's word, and a fellow can catch a 
 prayer or two. . . . 
 
 SECOND C. He's lying. He's a hypocrite. That 
 place brings in twice, thrice the amount any other 
 place does, and I don't know how much more. 
 
 W. Mr. Sexton, can't you see that the place must 
 go to me? 
 
 SOLDIER. Your grace, the place belongs to a 
 medal and the man that wears the medal. 
 
 SEXTON. Wait a moment, now. . . . Wait. . . . 
 I wasn't at all aware that a gold-mine was situated 
 right at the church-door. 
 
 SECOND C. And I discovered it.
 
 86 CRIPPLES 
 
 FIRST C. And I like to hold my ear close to the 
 door. I lay there all night long. 
 
 W. Mr. Sexton, one who has toiled as hard as I, 
 deserves a reward. 
 
 SOLDIER. Your Highness, the hero is the right 
 man in the right place. 
 
 THE SEXTON. None of you will get it. 
 
 THE DISPUTANTS. How ? What ? Ha ? 
 
 THE SEXTON. That is to 'say, none of you will 
 get it for nothing. From this day forward the place 
 will be rented. 
 
 THE DISPUTANTS (thunderstruck). Rented! 
 
 SEXTON. Yes. Whoever offers the highest bid 
 will be given the place. How will you rent it : by the 
 year, or per day ? I believe that by the year is best. 
 That'll mean less dealing with you. How much am 
 I offered per year? : Quick, now ! Quick ! How 
 much? . . , 
 
 CURTAIN"
 
 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S 
 DAUGHTER
 
 PERSONS 
 
 THE INVENTOR. 
 
 THE KING. 
 
 His DAUGHTER. 
 
 THE PRINCE, HER BETROTHED. 
 
 THE COURT JESTER. 
 
 THE CHANCELLOR. 
 
 TREASURER. 
 
 A SERVANT. 
 
 A LAME COURTIER. 
 
 A BLIND COURTIER. 
 
 A FATHER OF DEAF AND DUMB CHILDREN. 
 
 A LOVELORN SUITOR. 
 
 AN OLD MAN. 
 
 AN OLD LADY. 
 
 COURTIERS, DAMES, SERVANTS.
 
 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S 
 DAUGHTER 
 
 " Once upon a time there was . . ." 
 
 In the large hall of the palace the KING is celebrating 
 the betrothal of his daughter to the PRINCE. 
 Around long tables, placed in the shape of a square 
 with the front side removed, sit the guests ladies 
 and gentlemen eating and drinking in unre- 
 strained mirth and with loud laughter, particularly 
 at the antics of the JESTER. At the head of the 
 centre table sits the KING ; at his right and left, re- 
 spectively, his daughter and the PRINCE; next to 
 the PRINCESS sits the CHANCELLOR ; next to the 
 PRINCE, the TREASURER. In the middle of the 
 open space between the tables, upon a small chair 
 facing a diminutive table, lolls the JESTER, a very 
 ugly, hunch-backed creature. From various direc- 
 tions morsels of food are thrown to him; wine, too, 
 is poured to him from afar, and he catches it skil- 
 futty in his mouth as it flies through the air. 
 
 THE JESTER. Lo, man can do what is denied a 
 dog. A dog may catch merely a morsel, yet I can 
 catch even drink. And I am but a fool. What 
 canine tricks could not a king be taught! (The 
 
 guests dare not laugh, and make sober grimaces.) 
 
 89
 
 90 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 
 
 THE KING. For that jest you get fifty with the 
 lash. 
 
 JESTER. I simply wished to prove to you how 
 much higher is the least intelligent of mortals than 
 the cleverest of dogs. For man can bite even without 
 teeth. 
 
 KING. If your teeth are superfluous, I'll have 
 them pulled out for you. 
 
 JESTER. And it were well if you did so. For if 
 you have them extracted, you do me a great favor. 
 They are so ugly, that often I wish my hump were 
 over my mouth. But you will not do it. Of what 
 use is your jester to you with one ugly feature less? 
 
 KING. Eat, and close your mouth ! 
 
 JESTER. Silence is the virtue of the wise. Where- 
 fore I must speak, that I may be held a fool. And 
 you must keep silent, that you may be held a sage. 
 Woe to me if I kept silent. Woe to you if you spoke 
 overmuch. 
 
 KING (throwing a bone to him). Catch this, and 
 may you choke. 
 
 JESTER. Behold! The King is left without a 
 sceptre. The fool wields it now, and now the fool is 
 king. 
 
 KING. You're drunk, you dog! You're talking 
 too much, and spoiling our festivities. Throw him 
 under the table and see that he utters not a word. 
 
 Two SERVANTS (fall upon the JESTER and throw 
 him under a table). 
 
 JESTER (barks like a dog). 
 
 KING. Silence, there!
 
 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 91 
 
 JESTER. I am ordered to utter not a word. 
 Wherefore I express myself wordlessly. 
 
 KING (to SERVANTS). Gag his mouth 1 
 
 SERVANTS (bend over the fool and gag him). 
 
 KING. Now we shall have peace, and others may 
 be able to speak. 
 
 JESTER (through his gag). You would not gain 
 by it! 
 
 KING. The fool has made us forget our wine. 
 We drank it, but without giving heed. The splendid 
 wine it must feel the affront. My friends, I invite 
 you to drink and with attention. Wine asks to be 
 poured and enjoyed. Its taste goes between our 
 tongues and our palates like the enchanting melody 
 of a violin ; but once it arrives at its destination, it 
 spreads through our beings like a glorious orchestra. 
 Drink, my guests, and go beyond your measure. The 
 King has but one daughter but one betrothal to 
 celebrate. And know this, if you know it not al- 
 ready : the King is happy in the son that his daugh- 
 ter brings to him. My son-in-law our prince 
 we may well be proud of him. That my wise daugh- 
 ter should fall so deeply in love with him is greater 
 testimony of his worth than a thousand volumes. 
 You see how red our daughter has become. Ha, ha, 
 ha! 
 
 PRINCESS. I feel very warm. May I go to an 
 open window? 
 
 KING. Betake your virgin modesty to the window, 
 and let it be kissed and caressed by cool zephyrs. 
 
 PRINCE. May I accompany her ?
 
 92 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 
 
 KING. Are you jealous of the breeze? Would 
 you take over the work of the wind? You make her 
 blush all the harder. Go, my prince. With you at 
 her side, the outside world will look in more joyously 
 at her. 
 
 PRINCESS AND PRINCE (bow themselves away and 
 go to the front window, just beyond the end of the 
 table). 
 
 KING (following them with his glance). Ha, ha! 
 To the loneliest window, of course. To be alone 
 amidst all the noise and the crowd, and to hear only 
 themselves. My dear chancellor, and you, my dear 
 minister, come closer to me, and let's discuss a cer- 
 tain matter. My guests, let us not disturb you. 
 Permit their Highnesses their solitude in the midst 
 of many, and forget they are here amongst us. 
 
 JESTER (barks from his place under the table, and 
 cries through his gag). But I would wish that my 
 solitude were not forgotten ! 
 
 THE GUESTS (busy themselves with eating and 
 drinking. The CHANCELLOR and the TREASURER 
 take seats closer to the KING). 
 
 PRINCESS (at the window, to the PRINCE). You 
 read my mind as if my book of thoughts lay open be- 
 fore you. 
 
 PRINCE. Your thoughts are mine ; mine, too, are 
 your desires. I live only because I carry you so 
 deeply in my heart. The King believes that he does 
 well for us in keeping the guests so long. But we 
 two yearn only for solitude.
 
 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 93 
 
 PRINCESS. He is so happy. 
 
 PRINCE. Yes. I feel nothing against him. It 
 was very kind of him to allow us to leave our places 
 and come here. 
 
 PRINCESS (nestling close to him). My dear be- 
 loved ! 
 
 PRINCE. I have already forgotten the guests and 
 the excitement. Only your touch intoxicates me, and 
 your words of love resound within me, as if the great 
 hall were filled with wondrous song. 
 
 PRINCESS. Shall I tell you how much I love you? 
 
 PRINCE. You ask? Never shall I weary hearing 
 you tell it. 
 
 PRINCESS. Give me your hand. 
 
 PRINCE. Oh, what happiness ! 
 
 PRINCESS (presses his hand to her heart). Do you 
 hear that speech? What am I saying to you? 
 
 PRINCE. I could shout for joy. 
 
 PRINCESS. From the tips of my toes I have 
 very pretty toes, and they must be pinker now than 
 ever to the roots of my red hair isn't it redder 
 now than before? a river of love glows through me 
 and inundates me entirely. 
 
 PRINCE. Just like the river of love that courses 
 through me. And when the rivers meet 
 
 PRINCESS. Are not all eyes directed on us? 
 
 PRINCE. I do not wish to turn my eyes away 
 from you. 
 
 PRINCESS. If we should lean far forward out o-f 
 the window, into the darkness of the night
 
 94 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 
 
 PRINCE. Then our lips will believe we are unseen. 
 (They gaze upon each other passionately, and lean 
 slowly out of the window, closely clasped.) 
 
 A SERVANT (enters and bows before the KING). 
 
 KING (interrupting his conversation with the 
 CHANCELLOR and the TREASURER). What have you 
 to say? 
 
 SERVANT. A man has come upon a weighty er- 
 rand, and says that he must see Your Majesty. 
 
 KING. A weighty errand? And what is the 
 weighty matter? 
 
 SERVANT. He says that he can tell the King 
 alone. 
 
 KING. Then let him come to-morrow, or the day 
 after. Have him seized and held under lock and key, 
 until I have slept the betrothal celebration out of all 
 my bones. 
 
 SERVANT. He says that it is of the utmost impor- 
 tance to the King and his realm. 
 
 KING. Did you not try to drive him off -with your 
 halberds, or has he bribed all of you? 
 
 SERVANT. We all felt that the man and what he 
 brought were really important. 
 
 KING (eyeing him sharply). Good. Then bring 
 him here. And if it turns out that this important 
 matter was important only to him, then you shall 
 share his punishment. Nor will it be less for each of 
 you on that account. Go, fetch him ! It is too late 
 for you to change your mind. 
 
 SERVANT (bows and leaves).
 
 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 95 
 
 KING (to CHANCELLOR and TREASURER). Can 
 you guess what this may be? 
 
 TREASURER. If your majesty cannot guess it, 
 how can we? 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Important to King and realm 
 those were his words. We should have made inquiry 
 whence he came from what state, across what bor- 
 ders? We haven't even asked whether he was a sub- 
 ject of the King or of a foreign land? 
 
 JESTER. Ask me 
 
 SERVANTS (move against the JESTER). 
 
 JESTER (barking). Bow, wow, wow! 
 
 KING. Good, fool. I'll ask you. Tell me, what 
 is this important matter?" 
 
 JESTER. Let them ungag my mouth and I'll crawl 
 out from under the table. 
 
 KING. And then you'll tell me? 
 
 JESTER. And you will see that I shall answer 
 correctly. 
 
 KING (to SERVANTS). Remove the gag from his 
 mouth. 
 
 JESTER (crawling out of his place). It was im- 
 portant that he should come and that I should have 
 my mouth freed and be released from my place under 
 the table Bow, wow, wow ! {Scampers off across 
 the hall, amidst the uproarious laughter of the 
 guests.) 
 
 SERVANTS (give chase to him). 
 
 KING. Let him run. Because he was more clever, 
 let him not be punished. 
 
 JESTER (hops over to the PRINCESS and the
 
 96 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 
 
 PRINCE, who are leaning out of the window united in 
 a kiss. Stops short and surveys them with various 
 grimaces). My mouth was never shut for me in such 
 a fashion. That's what is called a kiss. The name 
 I know; I know the word and the sound, but I am 
 unacquainted with the taste. It must be good, 
 though, if folks can't tear away. (Raising his voice 
 somewhat.) And if they can so completely forget 
 themselves. . . . (Louder.) And if they haven't 
 even heard me. (Barks very loud.) Bow, wow, 
 wow ! 
 
 PRINCESS AND PRINCE (separate with a start and 
 rise). 
 
 JESTER (with profuse bows). Pardon; don't let 
 me disturb you. You may commence all over again, 
 from the beginning. I merely wished to inquire: 
 When is the kiss sweetest at the beginning, when 
 lips just touch, or what a fool I am to ask! 
 Surely in the middle, for if it were sweetest at the 
 beginning, then you would quickly cease and begin 
 at the beginning again. As to the end only the 
 end of sorrows is sweet. 
 
 STRANGER (enters, accompanied* by the SERVANT. 
 Since the KING is engrossed in conversation with the 
 CHANCELLOR and the TREASURER the STRANGER re- 
 mains standing at a respectful distance. The hall be- 
 comes silent. All eyes are turned toward the new- 
 comer). 
 
 PRINCESS. Who is that man? 
 
 JESTER. My liberation.
 
 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 97 
 
 PRINCE. Can't you speak more clearly to the 
 Princess ? 
 
 JESTER. It is just as I say. Because he came 
 I was liberated. 
 
 KING (to the STRANGER). Approach and tell 
 what important matter has brought you to me. 
 
 STRANGER (approaches and bows). 
 
 KING. Who are you? 
 
 STRANGER. I am an inventor, a loyal subject of 
 your Majesty, and have contrived a great invention. 
 
 KING. And did you have to come to me with it 
 just at this moment, in the midst of my festivities? 
 
 INVENTOR. I had to come with it this very mo- 
 ment. Before I was not fully ready with it, and aft- 
 erward it would have been too late. 
 
 KING. What is your invention? 
 
 INVENTOR. The greatest that the world has ever 
 known. 
 
 KING. That does not make the matter clearer to 
 me. 
 
 INVENTOR. If you accept my invention, you will 
 increase your own happiness and that of your sub- 
 jects forever. Nay, the whole world will turn to you, 
 as to its greatest savior, and you will become the ruler 
 of the earth. 
 
 KING. Then how is it that you have not become 
 that ruler? 
 
 INVENTOR. If you should be that, then I should 
 become it, too. And I need your help. 
 
 KING. The matter is still hazy to me.
 
 98 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 
 
 JESTER. Behold! A second fool has come to 
 light ! 
 
 KING. What is your invention? And how can I 
 be of help? 
 
 INVENTOR. First let me tell you all about myself. 
 My ancestry, and my pedigree. 
 
 KING. And what has that to do with your inven- 
 tion? I wish to know that alone. 
 
 INVENTOR. My King, first 7 came, then my inven- 
 tion. And moreover, my discovery is so great, that 
 only through the immense power that lay accumu- 
 lating through generations, finally to be embodied in 
 me, was I able to accomplish it. 
 
 KING. And you descended from a long line of 
 sages ? 
 
 INVENTOR. Quite the opposite, my King. I 
 speak of accumulated power power of mind, which 
 was not used, not expended, not employed. 
 
 KING. Be brief, then. Tell us of your ancestry. 
 
 INVENTOR. Neither my father nor my grand- 
 fathers and great grandfathers, for seven genera- 
 tions past, on Tboth my maternal and paternal sides, 
 have died a natural death. They all met their end 
 upon the gallows for robbery, crime and murder. (A 
 roar of laughter. ) 
 
 CHANCELLOR (laughing). And how about the fe- 
 male ancestors? 
 
 JESTER. Take all the maidens away. They must 
 not hear this. 
 
 INVENTOR. You are right. My mother and my 
 grandmothers and my great grandmothers, also on
 
 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 99 
 
 both sides, were public houses for friends and guests 
 and passers-by. (A din of laughter.) 
 
 FIRST COURTIER. And how was it before the seven 
 generations ? 
 
 SECOND DITTO. How do you know who was your 
 father? 
 
 THIRD DITTO. For seven generations and even 
 longer, filth was accumulating. . . . 
 
 FOURTH DITTO. Crime and prostitution. . . . 
 
 JESTER. Out of seven generations of ugliness I 
 was born the ugliest of all. 
 
 KING. Enough. The gallows has kept him wait- 
 ing all tcio long, so this churl comes to remind it of 
 its due. 
 
 INVENTOR. You may hang me when you have 
 heard all I have to say. My King, in every fool there 
 is hidden at least a spark of spirit and wisdom; in 
 every vagabond, a drop of honesty. And in the 
 seven criminal generations of my ancestors wisdom 
 and honesty kept the tiny spark aflame. Spark by 
 spark it was treasured up from generation to genera- 
 tion drop by drop and all this hoard was de- 
 livered to me. 
 
 TREASURER. A bedbug could carry all the hoard. 
 
 JESTER. And thereupon the sparks drank all the 
 drops ; and then the drops extinguished all the sparks. 
 So what was left? (Laughter.) 
 
 INVENTOR (proud, firm)- I have made the great- 
 est of inventions. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. And this greatest invention of
 
 100 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 
 
 yours is a mere invention, a manufactured lie. 
 (Laughter.) 
 
 INVENTOR. I have made the greatest of inven- 
 tions. (The laughter ceases.) It means world-siv- 
 premacy for the King ; it means a blessing to human- 
 ity ; it means, perhaps, eternal life. 
 
 KING. His very words nauseate me to the core. 
 
 INVENTOR. Your Majesty, I was overcome with 
 nausea at myself. The crimes of seven generations 
 weighed heavily upon me, and I pondered continually 
 how to redeem them how to make good what seven 
 generations had made so evil. The filth of seven 
 generations clung to me, and I longed for purity, 
 seeking how to cleanse myself. This it was that led 
 me to the thought that I must accomplish something 
 for which mankind would be forever grateful. And 
 for years I labored and thought severely, seeking 
 without rest, with one goal alone before my eyes. 
 And I prayed long to God I dwelt in deep solitude, 
 secluded from the whole world, alone with my studies, 
 my thoughts and my God. And God heard my 
 prayers and answered them. 
 
 KING (with disgust). What is your invention? 
 
 INVENTOR. God has permitted me to peer into the 
 secrets of His creation, to behold that which none has 
 beheld before me, to discover powers in nature that 
 none has ever before suspected. 
 
 TREASURER. And just as they have never been 
 suspected, neither are they there. 
 
 INVENTOR. Do you know the sun?
 
 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 101 
 
 TREASURER. I know her well, but I have never 
 had the honor of being introduced. 
 
 INVENTOR. Of course, you know the sun. All of 
 you know the power that you feel. You know that 
 you need the sun for the growth of your crops. You 
 know, too, how necessary it is to your good humor. 
 Yet the sun is not in your power. It serves you, but 
 you cannot yet command it. At night you have to 
 wait till day arrives. And if the day brings rain, 
 then you must wait until the clouds have emptied and 
 gone by. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Wondrous are the tales he tells to 
 us. And is this the important news that brought you 
 hither ? 
 
 TREASURER. Soon he will tell us that when the 
 sun shines it is bright, and that when darkness comes 
 it is a sign that the sun is not shining. 
 
 INVENTOR. 7 have discovered how to harness the 
 sun's rays to my will, and to place them in my service. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Perhaps this fellow's the Devil! 
 Are you a sorcerer? 
 
 INVENTOR. Your Majesty, I desire to be taken 
 seriously. 
 
 KING. Do not interrupt him. 
 
 INVENTOR. I am no sorcerer, neither have I done 
 anything supernatural. God has helped me to utilize 
 His power. He has aided me in constructing a device 
 which catches the rays of the sun, and through it I 
 can perform all manner of miracles that the sun per- 
 forms, and even more. For to the power of the sun 
 is added the wisdom of man and his piety.
 
 102 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 
 
 TREASURER. How ill that sounds from his mouth ! 
 
 KING. What miracles can you perform? 
 
 INVENTOR. I have told you already, my King. 
 Or did you misunderstand me? All the wonders of 
 the sun and more. Through my device night can be 
 made to cease, cold can be banished; you can attach 
 it to your chariot and it will bear you faster than the 
 fastest steeds. You will no longer need oars for your 
 vessels, yet you will cut through the waves of the most 
 distant seas faster than ever. It will raise you aloft, 
 as on the wings of the mightiest eagle; it will bore 
 you a tunnel to all the treasures of earth's depths. 
 The power that is locked within it can heal wounds 
 that have hitherto been beyond cure. . . . 
 
 LAME COURTIER. Can it straighten my limbs? 
 
 INVENTOR. If you have not lost your feet en- 
 tirely. 
 
 BLIND COURTIER. Can it restore the light of my 
 eyes ? 
 
 INVENTOR. If your eyes have not utterly leaked 
 out. 
 
 ANOTHER COURTIER. Can it make the deaf hear? 
 Can it make the dumb speak? I have two little chil- 
 dren, a son and a daughter, as beautiful as cherubs, 
 but both are deaf and dumb. 
 
 INVENTOR. Their speech will soon be gladdening 
 your heart. 
 
 LOVELORN SUITOR. I am lovesick. The glorious 
 maiden of my desire has locked her heart and bosom 
 against me. Can your device assist me here? 
 
 INVENTOR. Should you desire to commit suicide
 
 THE 'INVENTOR AND THE KING'S 'DAUGHTER 103 
 
 you will find in my contrivance the speediest, least 
 painful of deaths. 
 
 A LADY. Can it restore youth? 
 
 INVENTOR. I assure you you will look like your 
 own daughter's daughter. 
 
 LADY. The impudence! I'm still a girl myself! 
 
 SECOND LADY (bashfully). Can it give beauty? 
 
 INVENTOR. As beautiful as you would wish your- 
 self. 
 
 JESTER (with an outcry). Can it really give 
 beauty? 
 
 INVENTOR. You will not know yourself. Your 
 yellow, decayed teeth will turn white again and sound. 
 Those long tusks that protrude from your mouth 
 will be filed down and take their place in a row with 
 all their smaller neighbors. Your hump will be 
 crushed in between your shoulder-blades and dissolve 
 into muscles and fat and you will gain in stature what 
 your hump robbed you of. 
 
 JESTER (excited). Beware, I tell you! I know 
 sharper gibes than that ! 
 
 INVENTOR. I am far from jesting, and only once 
 in all my life have I laughed the moment when I 
 saw that my invention was a success. 
 
 JESTER (with bated breath). And can you really 
 make me beautiful? 
 
 INVENTOR. You will soon be convinced. You 
 will feel as if newborn. 
 
 JESTER (stirred to the highest pitch). I shall be 
 beautiful ! My hump will dissolve and my height will 
 increase! My mouth will be shorn of its terror!
 
 104 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 
 
 Fair shall I be ! Yes, fair ! And then am I fool no 
 longer ! Have you beheld a fair one spat upon the 
 face? Have you beheld a handsome one chastised 
 with the lash? Have you heard of one that's fair suf- 
 fering ugly treatment ? Oh, I shall be fair freed 
 of folly and then I, too, will kiss a pretty maiden. 
 Kiss a pretty maiden ! At the window, wide 
 open to night's sheltering darkness, bosom to bosom 
 pressed tight! (To the LADIES.) Hey! Who of 
 you will wish to be carried off by me? I long to be 
 abducted by you all ! Handsome shall I be, and as to 
 brains, I've always 
 
 KING. He has gone mad. Have him quieted. 
 
 JESTER (hops away). I shall be handsome! I 
 shall be fair ! Bow, wow, wow ! 
 
 AN OLD COURTIER. And can you really bring 
 back youth? 
 
 INVENTOR. I have already answered that ques- 
 tion for one of the ladies. I can make you young. 
 And as I have said my invention will perhaps bring 
 life everlasting. 
 
 OLD COURTIER. Why your " perhaps " ? 
 
 INVENTOR. How can I be certain ? Life everlast- 
 ing alone can prove it. I assert only that of which 
 I am certain. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. You said before that it can also 
 kill. 
 
 INVENTOR. You find in it what you seek. It has 
 the power to give eternal life, and is at the same time 
 a deadly weapon. In war you will be able, with its
 
 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 105 
 
 aid, to annihilate the King's enemies as if by sun- 
 stroke. 
 
 TREASURER. Can it also transmute stone and sand 
 into gold? 
 
 INVENTOR. How strange ! That selfsame claim 
 was on my tongue. You took the very words from 
 out my mouth. Yes ; my device most surely has that 
 power. 
 
 KING. Have you it with you here? 
 
 INVENTOR. No, and yes. No, because it is not 
 here in completed form. Yes, because it is in my 
 brain and ready to be set up at any moment. 
 
 KING. When will you set it up for me? 
 
 INVENTOR. When your majesty will consent to 
 lend me aid. 
 
 KING. And how can I lend you aid? 
 
 INVENTOR. My King, the Lord has beheld my 
 yearning for purification and sent me this invention. 
 He was good to me. He heard my prayers. The 
 earth, all earth, will bless my name forever ; my name 
 will blaze like a shining star, eternally, upon the 
 firmament of humanity. But, like the nebulous tail 
 of a glorious comet, there will trail after me the 
 shame and disgrace of seven evil generations. All 
 the boons that I will bring through my invention will 
 not suffice to extinguish the spot of my brilliant sun. 
 But I do not wish to carry the spot upon me ; it must 
 be wiped out in its entirety. I wish to stand before 
 the world unstained. You can help me. 
 
 KING. I have already asked you, How? How 
 would you be cleansed?
 
 106 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 
 
 INVENTOR. Through union with the highest 
 purity. 
 
 KING. And that is? 
 
 INVENTOR. Your daughter. (A stir among the 
 guests.) 
 
 KING. What? 
 
 INVENTOR. I want your daughter for my wife. 
 
 PRINCESS (clutching the PRINCE, with an outcry). 
 
 PRINCE (seizes the hilt of his sword). 
 
 INVENTOR. Perhaps in generations yet to come 
 humanity will endow me with another ancestry. 
 Ashamed to own a foul soul as a savior, it will ascribe 
 new parentage to me, of pure, unsullied lineage. But 
 as a King's son-in-law I should at once attain that 
 which otherwise I must await for generations. Your 
 royal splendor would at once illumine my entire pedi- 
 gree and cause my father and mother to be forgotten. 
 
 KING (breathes with difficulty; eyes the INVENTOR 
 with wild fury, clinches his fist, as if seeking a pun- 
 ishment for the man). 
 
 INVENTOR. You are angry, your majesty? Is 
 my request, then, so much too great? Here I have 
 brought all mankind's happiness. Do I not, then, de- 
 serve the great purificai ion ? I have brought you, my 
 King, power over all and seek to be uplifted through 
 you. Does the exchange seem not worth while to 
 you? O King, the Lord sent the invention to me 
 that I might thus reach you. 
 
 KING (throws his wineglass at the INVENTOR and 
 thunders). Remove him from my sight! Take him 
 away ! Hang him ! Burn him ! No. Torture him
 
 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 107 
 
 as none before him has been tortured! Chancellor, 
 Treasurer, all my counsellors, all you wise and all you 
 wicked guests of mine, get together and think out the 
 most exquisite punishments ! ( The SERVANTS move 
 slowly and hesitantly toward the INVENTOR.) 
 
 INVENTOR. O King, are you in doubt about my 
 claim ? Would I have risked my life and come to you 
 with a device that had not proved itself? Do I not 
 know what my end would be if I deceived you? Do 
 you think that I asked your credence only on my 
 word? Promise me your daughter only give me 
 your pledge that she will become my wife when 
 you shall learn that all I claim is just as I have said. 
 
 PRINCESS (m great excitement}. And even if it be 
 true even if it be a thousand times true, never will 
 I be his wife ! And if it perform even more than he 
 claims for it I love my Prince t I love my Prince ! 
 
 KING (to SERVANTS). Why so slow, you hounds? 
 Do you wish to be those from whom he will learn how 
 great his tortures are to be? Take him away as fast 
 as possible! Give him his reward. (To the SERV- 
 ANT who announced the INVENTOR'S arrival.) And 
 you, who smuggled him into the hall, who so earnestly 
 assured us of his importance, unless you care to share 
 his fate with him, as I had promised, execute every 
 torture that will be invented for him. And see that 
 you invent a few more, to make up for what the others 
 have omitted. 
 
 INVENTOR (warding off the servants). Grant me 
 but a few words more. God's will must be done. 
 Daughter of the King, you were pointed out to me
 
 108 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 
 
 by the Lord. Even as the invention, so from Him, 
 too, comes the thought that I must demand you for 
 my wife. You have been chosen by Him for my great 
 purification. See, I place within your tender hands 
 the happiness of all humanity. 
 
 PRINCESS (presses more closely to the PRINCE). 
 Oh, let him not address me ! 
 
 KING. Why is he still permitted to speak? 
 
 JESTER (cries out). I want to be handsome! I 
 want to be fair! 
 
 LAME COURTIER. He can straighten my limbs ! 
 
 BLIND DITTO. He will restore the light to my 
 eyes ! 
 
 INVENTOR. The ills of all humanity cry out aloud 
 to thee, beauteous daughter of the King. 
 
 PRINCESS. No ! No ! 
 
 KING. Remove that heap of filth, I say ! 
 
 PRINCE (springing suddenly across the table, 
 dashes toward the INVENTOR and runs him through 
 the breast with the sword). Here is your purifica- 
 tion, you scoundrel, you mangy dog! 
 
 INVENTOR (clutches his wound). The greatest 
 crime of the ages has been committed ! (Falls dead.) 
 
 JESTER (with outcry falls over his body. Mur- 
 mur among the guests). 
 
 KING. Take him away and throw him to the 
 hounds! What are you murmuring about there? 
 Did you wish your King to be a mat upon which a 
 man who rose from the filth of hell should wipe his 
 feet? You are dismissed. The festivities are over. 
 Good night to you all. Come, my daughter!
 
 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 109 
 
 Smooth your forehead and drive from your memory 
 all thought of this interruption. We'll do better 
 at your wedding. Hell, let us hope, has no more 
 filth to spew. Come, Prince ! Let me grasp your 
 hand. If I could jump a table as well as you, I, too, 
 should have drawn my sword. And yet you were a 
 trifle hasty there. You released him all too soon 
 from his well-merited tortures. Chancellor ! Minis- 
 ter! Good-night! (KING, PRINCESS, PRINCE, 
 CHANCELLOR, MINISTER and many oilier guests fie 
 out.) 
 
 SERVANTS (thrust away the JESTER and carry off 
 the INVENTOR'S body). 
 
 JESTER (leith a tearful voice). Ah! . . . Do you 
 know what it is to be ugly ? Do you know what it is 
 to carry a hump on your back all your life? Do you 
 know what it is not to know what a kiss from a 
 maiden tastes like? And he had it in his power. 
 . . . Ah! . . . 
 
 LAME COURTIER. He would have straightened out 
 my foot. 
 
 BLIND DITTO. My sight would have been restored. 
 
 FATHER OF DEAF AND DUMB CHILDREN. My dear 
 children! My poor, miserable, deaf and dumb dar- 
 lings ! 
 
 LADY. What will the world say when it learns of 
 this? 
 
 COURTIER. The world will say: There was one 
 who strove for greater purity. God helped him, but 
 when he came to human beings he was slain. 
 
 SECOND DITTO. The world will say: There was
 
 110 THE INVENTOR AND THE KING'S DAUGHTER 
 
 a King who abjured world domination, because he 
 did not wish to unite his family with that of an 
 impure churl. 
 
 SECOND LADY. The world will say: There was 
 a Princess who refused immortality because she 
 loved. 
 
 AN OLD COURTIER. No, no. The world will 
 curse. He brought to her the gift of eternal sun 
 . . . eternal youth . . . life everlasting. . . . 
 
 THIRD LADY. The world will be steeped in sor- 
 row. 
 
 CURTAIN
 
 DIPLOMACY 
 
 A Satire
 
 PERSONS 
 
 THE CHANCELLOR. 
 His WIFE. 
 
 THE LEADER OF THE YELLOW PARTY. 
 THE LEADER OF THE BLACKS. 
 THE LEADER OF THE BLUES. 
 THE LEADER OF THE GRAYS. 
 A SECRETARY. 
 
 THE MOB, composed of adherents of the various 
 parties. 
 
 TIME AND PLACE Of a fairy-tale.
 
 DIPLOMACY 
 
 The spacious ante-room of the chancellery. In the 
 background, high, wide windows; benches running 
 along the entire length of the watt. To the right, 
 two doors leading to the CHANCELLOR'S quarters. 
 The forward door opens into the CHANCELLOR'S 
 cabinet, where he is now engaged. To the left, a 
 broad staircase. 
 
 The leader of the YELLOWS and the leader of the 
 BLACKS are engrossed in conversation, at the same 
 time keeping a close watch upon the cabinet door. 
 
 THE LEADER OF THE YELLOWS (garbed in a fan- 
 tastic costume of yellow). Live and let live, that 
 has always been my motto. I demand much for 
 me and mine, but I am willing to let the other fellow 
 have his share; nor do I forget my folk and father- 
 land. Gladly will I support you in your demands, 
 if they do not conflict with my own, and if I feel 
 that mine are quite secure. 
 
 THE LEADER or THE BLACKS (garbed in a fan- 
 tastic costume of black). My demands have al- 
 ways been the most important, dear friend. You 
 think only of yourself, while I consider all the peo- 
 ple. 
 
 YELLOW. Ah! I can turn your own words in 
 113
 
 114 DIPLOMACY 
 
 my favor and against yourself. I maintain that not 
 until my demands have been granted will our people 
 truly live. 
 
 BLACK. But you think merely of the body. I 
 minister to the soul. 
 
 YELLOW. Excellent. Then you and I must be 
 one. We must support each other and work hand 
 in hand. Then will the whole people be well pro- 
 vided for both in body and soul. 
 
 BLACK. The soul comes first. 
 
 YELLOW. We'll never come to an understanding. 
 You are so frightfully obstinate. You wish to be 
 the sole leader. I tell you frankly and like a friend : 
 you'll never succeed. And in the end, you'll lose to 
 me. 
 
 BLACK. What? You dare 
 
 YELLOW. Be calm! We've got a-talking and 
 strayed far from the point. Let's get back to the 
 present moment. For today, at least, we unite in 
 a single demand. 
 
 BLACK. From different points of view, naturally. 
 
 YELLOW. Oh, yes. Of course. Yet you need 
 the war no less than I. It is precisely as necessary to 
 your interests as to mine. The people have lost their 
 fear of God and the churches are empty 
 
 BLACK. That's the deepest disgrace of all ! 
 
 YELLOW. War will fill them for you once again. 
 It is your duty to demand the war in the name of 
 God and true piety. It is our God that sends us 
 forth to battle. He is with us, if we are with 
 Hkn
 
 DIPLOMACY 115 
 
 BLACK. You speak the truth. 
 
 YELLOW. And He will stand by us. He will 
 drive the enemy before us, and will visit annihilation 
 upon them with the help of our army and our 
 weapons. He will deliver into our hands the lands 
 of the foe and make the enemy's children our slaves. 
 And where once we had dangerous competitors we 
 will, with the help of the Lord, have vassals to do 
 our will. I predict that the people will throng to 
 your churches day and night, to pray for the victory 
 of our arms. And your collection plates will be- 
 come fuller and fuller. 
 
 BLACK. My plates ! who talks of plates ? 
 
 YELLOW. Very well. Let it be your bowls. 
 And as soon as the war is over, imagine ! You will 
 convert the enemy to our faith. Consider what will 
 be your reward for that ! 
 
 BLACK. You harp eternally on reward. 
 
 YELLOW. I mean both in this world and in the 
 next. 
 
 BLACK. The main point is that I desire a free 
 hand in converting the enemy. If it cannot be ac- 
 complished with kind, friendly words, then I shall 
 be able to do it with the right and might of the 
 victor. 
 
 YELLOW. So then we're agreed. 
 
 BLACK. I am certainly for war. I must favor 
 war. It is God's will. But you why do you de- 
 mand war with the Turanian? 
 
 YELLOW. I believe I have explained that to you
 
 116 DIPLOMACY 
 
 already. I believe, moreover, that 7 am the most 
 important personage in the matter. 
 
 BLACK. You, the most important? You, with 
 your donkeys that he has seized? 
 
 YELLOW. At any rate the donkeys furnish an ex- 
 cellent reason for declaring war against him. The 
 war that will profit both you and me considerably. 
 
 BLACK. God, God is the most important con- 
 sideration. And God alone is the reason. 
 
 YELLOW. Very well. I concede your point. 
 The donkeys are merely the Lord's ambassadors. So 
 then, give me your hand upon it. We'll appear 
 before the Chancellor united, with a single purpose 
 and a single demand. And thus we shall get our war. 
 You may now prepare your prayers and call down 
 upon us the blessings of Heaven. (Makes a low bow 
 to the BLACK.) 
 
 BLACK (blesses the YELLOW with a silent movement 
 of the lips and a pious rotting of the eyes). 
 
 YELLOW. And now. Oh, yes : another thing. 
 We must stand firm. We must dictate to the Chan- 
 cellor. We must. (Interrupts himself and looks to- 
 wards the staircase.) Here comes the leader of the 
 Blues striding proudly up the stairs. (Runs over 
 toward the BLUE.) War! 
 
 BLUE (garbed in a fantastic costume of blue, with 
 sword and coat of mail). What? Has the chancel- 
 lor already reached a decision? 
 
 YELLOW. No. Not a word as yet from the 
 chancellor. He's been locked in his cabinet for the 
 past twenty-four hours
 
 DIPLOMACY 117 
 
 BLUE. I know that. Then what was the mean- 
 ing of your cry of " War t " 
 
 YELLOW. It meant that he and I are as much in 
 favor of this war as you. 
 
 BLUE. As I? Ha, ha! 
 
 YELLOW. What? Aren't you for war? 
 
 BLUE. For war yes ! 
 
 YELLOW. That means. . . . Oh, I see. ... I 
 see ! . . . War is your profession, your business and 
 your bread. 
 
 BLUE. Bah ! Business, bread, profession ! The 
 shopkeeper translates it into his own language and 
 
 makes a shopkeeper of me ! Wai a business ! 
 
 War a profession ! Ha ! War, ah, that is 
 something a shopkeeper cannot understand ! War 
 is the sublimest vocation, the noblest of arts ! 
 
 BLACK. Forget not the soldiers of the Lord. 
 
 BLUE. The word comes after the sword. How 
 could you ever advance God's word if the sword did 
 not cut a passage for it? Ah, what would man- 
 kind have been, if God had not blessed it with war? 
 It would have overrun the earth like mice, and only 
 pestilence would save the world from over-popula- 
 tion. War, too, ennobles man, makes him courageous 
 and strong and wakes him to deeds of daring! 
 War- 
 
 YELLOW. Enough ! What you say is good, and 
 true ! The main point is that we are unanimous ! 
 
 BLUE (scornfully/). Pah! 
 
 YELLOW. We work hand in hand. 
 
 BLUE (in disgust). He-he!
 
 118 DIPLOMACY 
 
 YELLOW (irritated, loudly). We all stand for 
 war. In the name of our people and our country. 
 
 BLACK. And the Lord. 
 
 YELLOW. And our Lord. Naturally, self-un- 
 derstood we must declare war against the God- 
 forsaken Turanian. He seized our donkeys. . . . 
 
 BLACK. He denies our faith. 
 
 YELLOW. For that he shall pay us dearly. 
 
 BLUE (drawing his sword). That he will! 
 
 BLACK. Oh, Heaven, bless Thou our arms ! 
 
 BLUE. I've seen to that already. My army is 
 vast and well trained, and itches for combat. It's 
 impossible to hold the soldiers back, to calm them 
 down. Before the heathen has rubbed the sleep 
 out of his eyes, he'll lie like a nut between the divi- 
 sions of my army Crack ! And crushed he is like 
 a hollow shell! War! War! 
 
 YELLOW. And then we'll take back our donkeys 
 with a hundred per cent, interest! 
 
 BLACK. And we'll open his heart and his ears so 
 that he may receive God's word and conceive the true 
 mercy of the Lord ! 
 
 YELLOW. Here comes the leader of the Grays. 
 Shall we waste much time arguing with him? We'll 
 inform him that we've decided upon war. That will 
 suffice him. And if he proves obstinate 
 
 BLACK. It would be better if we come before the 
 chancellor as a united people. 
 
 GRAY (garbed in a fantastic gray costume, ap- 
 proaches with a humble bow). Good day to you, 
 gentlemen ! (The YELLOW and the BLACK reply with
 
 DIPLOMACY 119 
 
 official bows. The BLUE turns away and fences with 
 his sword.) 
 
 GEAY. What's the news ? Has his Excellency yet 
 let himself be heard from? 
 
 YELLOW. Do you mean whether he is snoring? 
 
 GEAY (undecided whether to laugh or not. He 
 commences to laugh and stops at once in embar- 
 rassment). I mean that is : How stands it with 
 the war? 
 
 BLUE (brandishing his sword as if in battle). 
 War! War! 
 
 YELLOW. We stand firm for war. 
 
 BLACK. It is God's will. 
 
 GEAY. Yes, yes God's will Is war sure? 
 I think we think 
 
 BLUE (mockingly continues to conjugate the 
 verb). You think, they think. 
 
 GEAY (confused). He-he we think that the war 
 is 
 
 YELLOW. Very necessary for our land and peo- 
 ple. 
 
 BLACK. And our religion. 
 
 GEAY. Very necessary. . . . He he. . . . But 
 we think 
 
 YELLOW. From whatever standpoint you view the 
 matter, there must be war: from the standpoint of 
 patriotism, religion, humanity, morality, hygiene, 
 commerce and and so forth. We believe that 
 there is no room for any other opinion here. If 
 you and your constituents think otherwise, then you 
 haven't considered the matter carefully, or judged it
 
 120 DIPLOMACY 
 
 aright. You have surely looked at it only from 
 the gray standpoint, and that standpoint is very 
 narrow and short-sighted and and gray. You 
 just leave everything to us. We desire and have 
 always desired only the welfare of our people and 
 our entire country. Go back to your party and 
 bring them our decision. Tell them that they may 
 rest assured. The war will prove a blessing to all. 
 
 BLACK. From His Beloved Name. 
 
 BLUE. War ! Ta ra ra I War Hurrah ! 
 
 GRAY (scratching his head). We talked the mat- 
 ter over and discussed it thoroughly. We see that 
 we have nothing to gain from the war 
 
 BLUE. Gain ! Gain ! Must everything be reck- 
 oned in weights and measures, and in filthy coin! 
 The honor of our arms is the greatest gain; a well- 
 conducted war is in itself the highest profit. 
 
 BLACK. We will win the conquered Turanian for 
 our faith that is the greatest gain of all. 
 
 YELLOW. The Turanian must not grow greater 
 or more powerful. To render him powerless is a huge 
 gain for all of us. 
 
 GRAY. He he, yes, but 
 
 THE BLACK, BLUE AND YELLOW (impatiently). 
 But ! But ! But ! - 
 
 GRAY (timidly). We believe that we will lose very 
 much by the war. 
 
 YELLOW. Not so ! You believe what is very silly. 
 
 BLACK. Believe only in God and His mercy. 
 
 YELLOW. What have you to lose, anyway? You 
 retain your fields.
 
 DIPLOMACY 121 
 
 GRAY. But consider. . . . 
 
 YELLOW. We've considered everything thor- 
 oughly. We've considered your interests as well as 
 ours. You must raise yourself to a higher stand- 
 point. Your eyes must be able to encompass more 
 distant horizons. 
 
 BLACK. You must learn to recognize the will of 
 the Lord. 
 
 YELLOW. The war is a necessity, imposed upon 
 us by the Lord Himself, as you have just heard 
 from our representative of God. Ask him to bless 
 you, and 
 
 BLACK (murmurs a prayer and rolls his eyes pi- 
 ously). 
 
 YELLOW. And return to your party and tell them 
 that they have seen the matter in the wrong light. 
 (To the others.) Do you know what? Let's all 
 go down to our people and announce to them that 
 the party leaders are unanimous in their decision 
 for war. Such news will rouse them more than ever 
 for war. Perhaps the popular demonstration will 
 hasten the chancellor in his slow deliberations. 
 
 BLACK. That's a splendid suggestion. 
 
 GRAY. I'd be very grateful if you'd talk matters 
 over a little with my people. 
 
 BLUE. I'm off to drill my men a little. 
 
 YELLOW. Let us be off, too! (Casting a glance 
 towards the CHANCELLOR'S cabinet.) Not a sound 
 comes from that room. Then let the street make 
 itself heard. (All fie out, the GRAY at the rear. 
 For a while the room is empty, but soon the CHAN-
 
 123 DIPLOMACY 
 
 CELLOR'S WIFE comes hurrying up the stairs, heavily 
 veiled, hastens over to the CHANCELLOR'S door and 
 knocks.) 
 
 A SECRETARY (appearing at the door). What 
 would you have? 
 
 THE CHANCELLOR'S WIFE. I want to see the 
 Chancellor. 
 
 SECRETARY. Impossible. (About to shut the 
 door.) 
 
 WIFE. Tell him that his wife is waiting here for 
 him. 
 
 SECRETARY. Oh, pardon me! (Disappears.) 
 
 WIFE (raises her veil and looks toward the door 
 in joyous anticipation). 
 
 THE CHANCELLOR (comes out). My darling, my 
 precious. You here? 
 
 WIFE (throwing her arms about his neck). Oh, 
 I could endure it no longer, not to see you for twenty- 
 four hours ! 
 
 CHANCELLOR. The question is of supreme im- 
 portance. It cannot be prolonged, and I will settle 
 it quickly, like a true servant of my people. 
 
 WIFE. But to abandon me so? Couldn't you 
 tear yourself away for a moment and run across to 
 me? Is this our honeymoon? 
 
 CHANCELLOR. My darling, you'll have to forgive 
 me. I am performing my duty. Even now I shall 
 have to send you away at once. Thanks for having 
 come. You brought me a breath of happy relief, 
 and now I shall return to my work with renewed vigor. 
 My precious love
 
 DIPLOMACY 123 
 
 WIFE. You shall not dismiss me so easily. And if 
 you do, I refuse to obey you, and cling tightly to 
 you ! Oh ! Not to have seen or heard you for 
 twenty-four hours ! 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Did I not feel it, too? Did it not 
 oppress me, likewise? 
 
 WIFE. No. You forget me entirely. You're 
 absorbed altogether in your faithfulness to the peo- 
 ple and the country, and your young wife no longer 
 exists for you. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. You mustn't speak like that to me. 
 You yourself don't believe what you say. 
 
 WIFE. On the contrary, I believe it firmly. You 
 value your duty more than your love. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. You may as well say that my sleep, 
 too, is more to me than my love, for each night I 
 leave you and journey off to far-away, far-away 
 slumberland 
 
 WIFE. Yes, but in my arms, at my side ! And 
 often I watch over you when sleep refuses to come 
 to me. In silence I enjoy the lines of your face, 
 and suddenly I see you smile, and I know that you 
 are smiling to me in your dream, and then I fall 
 asleep so happy ! . . . Ah, tonight I did not close 
 my eyes. I tossed from side to side with the most 
 uneasy thoughts. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. My poor darling! But let that 
 be. Once my burdensome task is removed from my 
 shoulders, I'll come flying to you as on the wings of 
 an eagle, and what we have lost today, we'll make up 
 for tenfold. Go now, my love
 
 124 DIPLOMACY 
 
 WIFE. No, I will not go. I must sit with you 
 a while. Take me into your cabinet with you. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Absolutely impossible. My sec- 
 retaries occupy every desk and chair. And more- 
 over, they themselves have not been home for the 
 past twenty-four hours. 
 
 WIFE. And their wives are not ? 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Allowed to come here. And what 
 is not permitted to my secretaries I will not permit 
 to myself. 
 
 WIFE. But I am already here ! Come, sit down 
 with me there on that bench. I'll sit down be- 
 side you, feel your presence, drink in the sight of 
 you (Draws him to the bench.} 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Further from the window; they 
 should not see us from the outside. Otherwise they'll 
 besiege me again. (Steals a glance through the win- 
 dow.) What a crowd! The whole populace has 
 gathered on the square. It is impatient and will be- 
 come more so. It's really a crime for me to be sit- 
 ing here calmly with you. 
 
 WIFE (nestling to him). Come, come. It isn't 
 yet so grave as all that. The little time that I'll 
 steal from the nation's affairs, it may well grant 
 me. And why should the nation be more important 
 than I? Twenty-four hours! And more: the na- 
 tion has robbed me of you entirely. You're sitting 
 by me this very moment as if on pins and needles. 
 You neither look upon me nor see me. You hear 
 my words but your thoughts are there with your sec- 
 retaries.
 
 DIPLOMACY 125 
 
 CHANCELLOR (arises suddenly and looks again 
 stealthily through the window). What a seething 
 commotion outside ! What burning impatience ! 
 The populace has been incensed for war and its war 
 spirit grows with each moment. It knows not why, 
 nor wherefore. " War ! War ! " it cries, blinded, 
 betrayed by robbers that seek to wax richer and 
 richer. War ! War ! Say rather Murder and 
 Blunder. How I hate every war, the most shame- 
 ful of crimes ! They seek through war only to con- 
 quer, to fill their coffers, to aggrandize themselves at 
 the expense of the vanquished. That is what the 
 bands of robbers desire who attack the citizens of 
 their towns or the peacefully-travelling caravans in 
 the desert. And if the robbers are criminals, sure 
 of a death-sentence, when caught, why is not the 
 State that goes forth to robbery a criminal? Murder 
 is murder, and shall I be a murderer? Shall I be a 
 tool to serve the end of plunderers? 
 
 WIFE. Oh, my love, can't you forget all this for 
 a while and belong to me entirely for a moment, 
 for the smallest moment? (Nestles closely to him.) 
 
 CHANCELLOR (as if suddenly awakened, embraces 
 her and looks at her with a penetrating glance.) 
 To forget for a moment to belong to you you ! 
 (Takes her to him in a long, passionate, vehement 
 'kiss.) In that moment I was yours completely. I 
 was (repeats his long passionate kiss), yours 
 completely. And now, go. And know that it is 
 difficult for me to send you away. (Hugs her closely 
 to him.) Oh, my love, my love! (Brings his head
 
 126 DIPLOMACY 
 
 close to hers and remains sitting a while absorbed m 
 thought.) Now I am resolved. 
 
 WIFE. You are resolved? 
 
 CHANCELLOR. And most certainly. 
 
 WIFE (nestling close to him, coquettishly) . Yes? 
 And what is it about, pray? May I know? 
 
 CHANCELLOR. There shall be no war. 
 
 WIFE (disappointed). Oh! I thought you were 
 going to tell me of your love. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. And I have made to you the great- 
 est declaration of love. Because I love you so deeply, 
 there will be no war. How could I have gone away 
 from your embraces, with your hot kisses upon my 
 lips, and myself brimming over with love, even as the 
 sea inundates the shore, and sign my name at the bot- 
 tom of a war-decree, and send forth the children of 
 my people to deeds of blood and enmity ? No ! No ! 
 Ah Here come the leaders already. Now go. 
 I'll soon come to you. Come, let me accompany you 
 down a little way. 
 
 WIFE (draws her veil over her face. They go 
 down the stairs. The four leaders come up.) 
 
 YELLOW. Did you see? 
 
 BLACK. With his wife. 
 
 YELLOW. With a woman. He has time for her, 
 but for us he is locked in his cabinet. I believe now 
 is the time for us to demand an end to his delays. 
 We are unanimous, the people are restless. He may 
 as well decide. He has no reason to prolong his 
 consideration. 
 
 BLACK. We will wait no longer 1
 
 DIPLOMACY 197 
 
 BLUE. No ! We wait no longer ! 
 
 GEAY. As long as it's war, let's have it as soon 
 as possible ! (The CHANCELLOR returns. The four 
 leaders bow to him. The CHANCELLOR replies to 
 them m similar fashion and is about to proceed to 
 his cabinet.) 
 
 YELLOW AND BLACK. Your Excellency! 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Gentlemen? 
 
 YELLOW. We desire to know the outcome. 
 
 BLACK. Where do we stand? 
 
 BLUE. War ! 
 
 GRAY. This way or that, but an end to all this 
 dallying ! 
 
 CHANCELLOR. You have all spoken. Whom shall 
 I answer? 
 
 YELLOW. We all said one and the same thing. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. The Gray wants to go " this way 
 or that " 
 
 YELLOW. You know that he never speaks very 
 clearly. He sides with us. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. And all of you desire ? 
 
 YELLOW. War ! 
 
 BLACK. A Holy War! 
 
 BLUE. War ! 
 
 GRAY. He he! War! He he! 
 
 CHANCELLOR (to the GRAY). You, too war? 
 
 GRAY. The Turanian is waging war against the 
 Tricker and we send merchandise to the Tricker 
 and the Turanian seizes our donkeys. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Well? 
 
 GRAY. So we want war ! He-he !
 
 128 DIPLOMACY 
 
 YELLOW. We have decided that / shall be the 
 spokesman. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Shall I not be permitted to speak 
 to whom I wish? But it makes no difference. So 
 then, you insist on war? 
 
 YELLOW. Most certainly. If we have not yet 
 made clear to you our views, which are the views of 
 the people, then I can make them clearer to you now. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Not necessary. 
 
 YELLOW. I will be brief. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Was the merchandise that you sent 
 to the Tricker paid for? 
 
 YELLOW. I'm not talking about the merchandise. 
 But the Turanian seized our donkeys that carried the 
 merchandise. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. And therefore, war? 
 
 YELLOW. Not exactly therefore, but that is a 
 reason. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Oh, I know ! I know ! The Tur- 
 anian is becoming too powerful. His wings must be 
 clipped. 
 
 BLACK. He must be converted to our faith. 
 
 BLUE. Why have we an army, I'd like to know? 
 
 GRAY. Let it be war, and an end to this uncer- 
 tainty. 
 
 YELLOW. Your Excellency, the people are impa- 
 tient. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. You made them impatient. 
 
 YELLOW. We want to know your decision. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. You have already decided for me. 
 
 YELLOW. Do you agree?
 
 DIPLOMACY 129 
 
 CHANCELLOR. I shall let you know in writing. 
 Everything must be done in orderly fashion and in 
 accordance with the rules. 
 
 YELLOW. Why this comedy? 
 
 CHANCELLOR (sternly). This comedy? 
 
 YELLOW. You've come to a decision already 
 I can see that clearly. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Very well. I'll tell it to you. 
 (Looks at the leaders sharply and penetratingly, and 
 maintains a prolonged silence as if he took pleasure 
 in trying their patience, their expectancy. Then he 
 speaks in a calm voice.) There shall be no war. 
 
 YELLOW. No war? 
 
 BLACK. No war? 
 
 BLUE. What? 
 
 GRAY. He-he ! 
 
 YELLOW. The whole nation demands war. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. You criminally talked it into fav- 
 oring war. 
 
 YELLOW. The whole nation cries war and you 
 shall not oppose it. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. I am here to rule the nation, not 
 to be ruled by it. 
 
 YELLOW. You are here to execute only what the 
 people want and command. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. I am here to lead the people and 
 to defend it from misleaders. 
 
 YELLOW. You're playing with fire, Your Excel- 
 lency ! 
 
 BLUE. Ha-ha ! 
 
 CHANCELLOR. You threaten me?
 
 130 DIPLOMACY 
 
 YELLOW. The nation wants war and no one can 
 restrain the people from waging it. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. The time of your unexpected visit, 
 gentlemen, is up. Go tell the people. 
 
 YELLOW. I'll tell it at once, and if you wish, you 
 may hear how it receives the news from me. (Hur- 
 ries to a window, raises it and shouts.) Hear! 
 Hear ! (A loud commotion is heard m the square, 
 like the din of a tempestuous sea. Cries are dis- 
 tinguished. " Quiet! " . . . " Silence! "... Finally 
 the dim, subsides.} Hear! The Chancellor has at 
 last decided (A loud hurrah arises from the popu- 
 lace. ) Wait ! Wait ! Listen till I have finished ! 
 (Motions to the crowd to keep stitt. BLACK, BLUE 
 and GRAY do likewise.) 
 
 GRAY (with awkward gestures). Hush! Hush! 
 Hush! Quiet! Silence! (Cries from outside.) 
 " Quiet ! " " Silence ! " 
 
 YELLOW. The Chancellor has decreed war 
 (Outside the cheering grows louder than ever. En- 
 thusiastic cries are heard: " War! War! War! " 
 The YELLOW waves his hands to the crowd, asking 
 for silence.) No! No! Hear me out! 
 
 BLACK (to the CHANCELLOR). Do you see? 
 
 CHANCELLOR (laughs scornfully, shaking his head. 
 Outside, cries of "Quiet!" "Silence!" The din 
 subsides). 
 
 YELLOW (shouting at the top of his lungs). War 
 shall not be declared ! (Outside a dead silence, as 
 if the hearers did not believe their own ears.) 
 
 BLACK (bends his ear in the direction of the square,
 
 DIPLOMACY 131 
 
 and raises his finger with deep significance). The 
 calm before the storm. 
 
 YELLOW (shouting). The Chancellor does not 
 want the war. The Turanian's friendship is more to 
 him than the will of his people. (A storm of shouts 
 comes from the square.) 
 
 CHANCELLOR. That is provocation ! I'll order 
 his arrest ! 
 
 YELLOW (shouting). Come up! The Chancellor 
 is here with us ! You can hear it clearly from his 
 own lips! 
 
 CHANCELLOR. That is an invitation to bloodshed. 
 The guards outside will use their weapons. You will 
 answer to me for this ! The blood will fall upon 
 your own head. 
 
 YELLOW. I assume full responsibility. (Sounds 
 of struggle come from the entrance below, and at 
 length a multitude of YELLOWS, BLACKS, BLUES and 
 GRAYS rush up the stairs. They advance close to 
 the CHANCELLOR, before whom they stand with men- 
 acing cries. " War! War! War! " The doors 
 of the CHANCELLOR'S rooms open and his secretaries 
 appear.) 
 
 CHANCELLOR (to the crowd). Silence! Do you 
 think that you will intimidate me with your cries and 
 your tumult? What opinion would you hold of a 
 Chancellor who would let himself be frightened by 
 such a wild onrush and bow to you at once in weak- 
 kneed submission? But you shall not frighten me, 
 and I will carry out what I have decided best for the 
 interests of our land.
 
 132 DIPLOMACY 
 
 THE CROWD (with an outburst). War! War! 
 War! 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Silence ! Remember before whom 
 you stand. If you would speak with me and hear my 
 reply, then cease this shouting and acting like wild 
 beasts. 
 
 THE CROWD. War! War! War! 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Have you heard my grounds for 
 opposing the war? You know that I have surrend- 
 ered myself completely to the critical issue, and that 
 for the past twenty-four hours 
 
 YELLOW. Ha-ha-ha ! 
 
 CHANCELLOR (furious). What are you laughing 
 at? 
 
 YELLOW (insolently). At your twenty-four 
 hours. 
 
 CHANCELLOR. What? 
 
 YELLOW (shouting). He surrendered himself 
 completely here to a woman ! 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Scoundrel ! 
 
 YELLOW. Didn't you see the woman that went 
 down from here before? 
 
 VOICES. Yes ! Yes ! Of course ! We saw her ! 
 Ha-ha-ha ! 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Would you have me defend myself 
 against that, too? You all know that my wife 
 ( With an angry outburst.) Out of here! Out! 
 Let not a trace of you remain here ! I'll call the 
 guards 
 
 VOICES. They're lying downstairs all trampled 
 over, bound hand and foot.
 
 DIPLOMACY 133 
 
 CHANCELLOR. This is revolt! This is revolu- 
 tion ! 
 
 YELLOW. It is the will of the people. 
 
 BLACK. And of God. 
 
 YELLOW. Sign the proclamation of war, or 
 
 CHANCELLOR (with an outcry). I am no longer 
 your Chancellor! Wage the war yourself! Plunge 
 your country into wrack and ruin. Do the people's 
 will I will not share in it. But I will expose 
 you, and will prove to the people that you imposed 
 your will upon them. I will 
 
 YELLOW. This is treason ! He is a traitor ! He 
 has been bought by the Turanian ! 
 
 CHANCELLOR. Scoundrel ! 
 
 YELLOW. He abandons the guidance of the na- 
 tion in such a grave moment and even attempts to in- 
 cite them against the leaders of the land. What will 
 the enemy say ? He will laugh up his sleeve ! We 
 are split. We lack unity, and he need not fear us. 
 Now he may do with us as he pleases. Yesterday he 
 seized our donkeys, tomorrow he'll seize our land. 
 He has been bought by the Turanian ! 
 
 THE CROWD. So that's it? Is that so? 
 
 YELLOW. You see, he has nothing to say in his 
 defense. His very eyes glow with treason. Aha! 
 That explains why he was seen the night before last 
 with the Turanian's ambassador at the backstairs 
 of his palace ! 
 
 THE CROWD (looking at each other perplexedly). 
 Ah ! Ah ! Ah ! 
 
 GRAY (placing his heavy hand upon the CHAN-
 
 134 DIPLOMACY 
 
 CELLOE'S shoulder). So that's the kind of man you 
 are? 
 
 BLACK. The traitor must meet a traitor's end ! 
 
 YELLOW. Lead him out before all our people. 
 Let all the people know what their ruler really was. 
 
 VOICES. Lead him out ! Lead him out ! 
 
 GRAY. Come, brother ! 
 
 BLUE. Clap the fool's cap over his head ! String 
 bells around his neck ! Traitor ! 
 
 VOICES. Death to the Traitor! Traitor! 
 Traitor! {Shouts, jeers, whistling.) 
 
 BLACK. The voice of the people is the voice of 
 God. Amen. 
 
 CUETAIN
 
 LITTLE HEROES 
 A War Episode
 
 PERSONS 
 
 A FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD BOY 
 A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD 
 FIRST TWELVE- YEAR-OLD 
 SECOND TWELVE-YEAR-OLD 
 AN ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD 
 A TEN-YEAR-OLD 
 
 TIME: The Present. 
 
 PLACE : A devastated village in a belligerent and 
 invaded nation.
 
 LITTLE HEROES 
 
 A large living-room in a peasant's house, which has 
 been much damaged by the cannonading. A bomb 
 has crashed through the roof and the ceiling and 
 made a huge hole in the floor. The walls are per- 
 forated with bulletholes, the windows smashed, the 
 doors loosened from their hinges. Here and there 
 scattered bits of furniture that has been shot to 
 pieces; only a long sofa and two chairs have es- 
 caped destruction. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD enters, looks about him 
 with a rapt, yet angry expression, and stamps his 
 foot. From between his tightly-drawn lips he ut- 
 ters a suppressed cry of scorn, points a menacing 
 fist at the shattered windows and the wall at the 
 rear, as if at an enemy in the distance, on whom he 
 would wreak vengeance. 
 
 FIRST TWELVE-YEAR-OLD {appears at the door, 
 and stops in consternation). Oh! This is worse 
 than at my house! 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. Where are they all? 
 
 FIRST TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. I don't know. Didn't 
 see 'em. {Enters, looks into the hole m the floor, 
 then at the gap in the ceiling.) Right through. 
 
 137
 
 138 LITTLE HEROES 
 
 You can see the sky. That must have been a giant 
 bomb ! Where did it strike your mother? 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. Where? Every- 
 where at once ! She was simply torn to shreds. 
 
 FIRST TWELVE-YEAR-OLD. I mean, what part of 
 the house was she in when it came? 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. She was standing 
 right here near the closet. 
 
 FIRST TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. And the closet was 
 smashed, too? 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. Can't you see? 
 Knocked to bits ! 
 
 FIRST TWELVE- YEAR-OLD (looking about). All 
 the furniture ! (Sees the sofa, and thumps it here 
 and there with his fist, as if testing its strength.) 
 At my house, too 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD (interrupting, with a 
 touch of scorn). I know. Didn't I see? ... 
 Hardly a thing touched, no damage at all. 
 
 FIRST TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. Why! A whole wall 
 was crushed, and our chimney, and the shed burned 
 down, and our dog was killed and his kennel shot to 
 pieces, and grandma died of fright. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD (looking out of the 
 window). They must have started a game of ball. 
 
 FIRST TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. Nobody plays ball 
 these days. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN- YEAR-OLD. Well, something else, 
 then. 
 
 FIRST TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. Nobody plays any- 
 thing at all now. I play all by myself. I feel so
 
 LITTLE HEROES 139 
 
 sad. I hide behind the house and play marbles. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. You big baby! 
 
 FIRST TWELVE- Y.EAR-OLD. I'm not a baby ! But 
 I feel so sad, and I'm awfully hungry, too. Haven't 
 you a crumb of bread around here? 
 
 THE FOURTEEN- YEAR-OLD. Ruins, that's what 
 we've got. 
 
 FIRST TWELVE-YEAR-OLD. They went to the 
 enemy to ask for bread. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN- YEAR-OLD. What a disgrace! 
 
 FIRST TWELVE-YEAR-OLD. They're all so hungry. 
 Aren't you hungry? 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. I won't touch the 
 enemy's bread ! 
 
 FIRST TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. Your father hasn't 
 been killed yet in the war. My father was shot in the 
 stomach. (Turns to the THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD and 
 the SECOND TWELVE- YEAR-OLD, who have just come 
 in). Just see how the cannon shot right through the 
 ceiling and through the floor ! 
 
 THE FOURTEEN- YEAR-OLD (to the new arrivals). 
 And that's what you call coming right away? 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD (gazing into the hole). 
 Ooh ! What a hole ! 
 
 SECOND TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. What a shot that 
 must have been ! 
 
 FIRST TWELVE-YEAR-OLD. Right through and 
 through. And tore his mother to bits. And 
 smashed all the furniture. Just look at the pieces ! 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD ( taking a seat upon the 
 sofa). I had to stay with my little sister. She
 
 140 LITTLE HEROES 
 
 won't stop crying, she's so hungry. I put my finger 
 in her mouth. My t How she sucked it t 
 
 SECOND TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. My mother has one 
 fainting-spell after another. I had to steal away. 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD (enters, holding the TEN- 
 YEAR-OLD by the hand). Bah! I could barely drag 
 along with him to take care of. 
 
 THE TEN-YEAR-OLD. Why should I run? To 
 get more hungry? 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD. Ooh my! What a 
 hole! 
 
 THE TEN-YEAR-OLD. If it rains, it'll rain in. 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD. You don't say so. 
 (To the FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD, who is excited, and 
 paces back and forth amid the ruins.) You've called 
 together a regular meeting! 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. That's just what. 
 I have a plan, and I need helpers. 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD (stretching out at full 
 length upon the sofa). He has a plan and he needs 
 helpers. 
 
 THE ELEVEN- YEAR-OLD (sits down at the edge of 
 the hole in the floor and dangles his feet within). 
 What a big hole ! 
 
 FIRST TWELVE- YEAR-OLD (sits down beside the 
 ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD ) . 
 
 SECOND TWELVE- YEAR-OLD (about to follow suit, 
 but changes his mind and takes a chair). 
 
 THE TEN- YEAR-OLD (lies down on the floor, his 
 head pillowed against a pile of debris). 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD (passionately).
 
 LITTLE HEROES 141 
 
 Aren't we now the only men left in the village? The 
 old folks are only old folks, after all. They can't 
 march. Can't fight. If it comes to a battle, what 
 good are they? And the women are only women. 
 They're certainly not men. And the girls surely 
 ain't men, either. So we're the only men! Are we 
 going to stand by like the little girls and keep on 
 playing with dolls? 
 
 FIRST TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. They aren't playing 
 with dolls now. They're crying. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN- YEAR-OLD. Well, are we going to 
 sit and cry? Are we going to be 'f raid-cats and cry- 
 babies ? We're young boys, fellows, men. Isn't that 
 so? 
 
 THE TEN-YEAR-OLD. Sure. But I want to eat. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. The enemy is com- 
 ing further and further into our country. Our army 
 is retreating before it. The enemy is capturing one 
 village after the other ; one city after another. Soon 
 he'll take over our whole nation altogether. So that 
 we've got to do something about it ! Is that right, 
 or not! 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD. Sure it's right ! 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD. And what shall we 
 do? 
 
 SECOND TWELVE-YEAR-OLD. I've counted thirty- 
 seven bullet-holes in the wall. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. Aren't we to the rear 
 of the enemy? Isn't that so? Aren't we behind 
 their lines? 
 
 THE ELEVEN- YEAR-OLD. Naturally we're behind
 
 142 LITTLE HEROES 
 
 their lines. They've already marched thirty miles 
 further into the country. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. Then we can do a 
 good deal against them. 
 
 THE ELEVEN- YEAR-OLD (diffidently). Naturally. 
 A good deal. 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD. One speaks and the 
 other repeats, just like a parrot. 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD (more firmly and boldly). 
 Naturally ! A good deal ! 
 
 SECOND TWELVE-YEAR-OLD. My ! What a shot 
 that must have been! Bang! Through the roof, 
 the ceiling, the floor ! Whizz ! 
 
 THE TEN-YEAR-OLD. Near us, too, there was 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD (to the THIRTEEN- 
 YEAR-OLD, vehemently). Can you shinney up a high 
 pole ? 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD. Better than you. 
 
 FIRST TWELVE-YEAR-OLD. So can I. Just like 
 a cat. 
 
 THE ELEVEN- YEAR-OLD. I can do it better than 
 all of you. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. Then one of us is to 
 climb up a telegraph pole and cut the wires. 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD. Mm ! But you're 
 extravagant ! 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. We'll go out three 
 together, or four. That's why I need helpers. 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD. Don't forget that at 
 every telegraph pole there's a soldier with a gun. 
 
 THE' FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD (taking a sharp knife
 
 LITTLE HEROES 143 
 
 from under his coat). And what's this for, then? 
 (The youthful group stares at the knife). 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD. We've got a nice big 
 kitchen-knife, too. 
 
 THE TEN-YEAR-OLD. But we've got nothing to 
 cut with it. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. You're all of you to 
 provide yourselves with knives like this, and at night, 
 when if'S pitch dark, we're to crawl, on our bellies, up 
 behind the guard, stab him in the heart, climb up the 
 pole and cut the wires. 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD. Here's how we'll do it. 
 (Crawls carefully over the floor.) And then, Zip! 
 (Makes a violent thrust into the air, as if into an 
 enemy.) Then, up the pole, up, up. (Springs up 
 from the floor and imitates climbing.) 
 
 THE TEN-YEAR-OLD. And on the murdered sol- 
 dier we'll find some bread. 
 
 THE THIRTEEN- YEAR-OLD. But supposing the 
 soldier sees us or hears us? 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. He mustn't see us or 
 hear us. We'll do it quietly, ever so quietly. 
 
 THE TEN-YEAR-OLD. I can crawl as softly as 
 a worm. And I'll take our big sharp knife but 
 I'm awfully hungry. I want to eat ! 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD. And a soldier wears 
 thick clothes ! 
 
 SECOND TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. They wear armor. 
 That's what they say. Made out of tin. On 
 their chests. So that a bullet can't go through. 
 
 FIRST TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. Well then, we'll aim
 
 144 LITTLE HEROES 
 
 our knives at their stomachs, or their necks, or their 
 eyes. 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD. We could even stab one 
 in the knee. Crawl up quietly, so quietly and 
 slash! Right into his knee, so that his foot'll come 
 off. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. Exactly. And make 
 a good job of it. Just let him fall, badly wounded, 
 and we'll make an end of him. 
 
 THE TEN-YEAR-OLD. And take all his food away 
 from him. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN- YEAR-OLD. In that way we can 
 kill a good many guards and cut a good deal of tele- 
 graph and telephone wires. That'll help our sol- 
 diers. 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD. The less soldiers the 
 enemy has, the better for our side. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. And with all the tele- 
 graph and telephone wires cut, the enemy won't know 
 where in the world he is. 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD. And then our men will 
 give the enemy such a beating, that he won't know 
 what's happening to him. And then he'll run away. 
 
 THE TEN-YEAR-OLD. And we'll have lots of bread 
 again. 
 
 SECOND TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. The enemy has 
 heaps of food. Did you see all the provision wagons 
 go by? I counted forty-four. And did you see that 
 big field-kitchen? 
 
 THE TEN-YEAR-OLD (utters a brief sigh, as if the
 
 LITTLE HEROES 145 
 
 field-kitchen and the provision-wagons had in-spired 
 savory recollections}. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD (trembling with emo- 
 tion). But all that is nothing. We can do much 
 more. (Looks around, to see whether some eaves- 
 dropper be listening, and then continues in tones of 
 secrecy.) In the nobleman's house the enemy's Com- 
 mander-in-chief has made his headquarters. He has 
 in his possession all the enemy's plans. We'll steal 
 into the house at midnight when he's fast asleep 
 kill him and steal his plans. Once that's accom- 
 plished, then it's all up with the enemy. 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD. My ! My ! But that's 
 a cracker jack scheme! 
 
 FIRST TWELVE-YEAR-OLD (in glee). Gee! The 
 commander-in-chief ! To kill him (Embraces the 
 ELEVEN- YEAR-OLD and together they roll around 
 joyously). 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD (with ironic laughter). 
 Ha, ha ! They're going to murder the commander- 
 in-chief ! Why, he's surrounded by generals and 
 officers and soldiers ! 
 
 THE FOURTEEN- YEAR-OLD. Makes no difference. 
 That's what we must do. 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD. First prove that you 
 can steal up behind a guard at a telegraph pole! 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. We certainly will. 
 
 THE ELEVEN- YEAR-OLD. You bet ! 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD. Then you'll all be in 
 heaven soon, that's all I say.
 
 146 LITTLE HEROES 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. You're a common 
 coward, that's what you are ! 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD. You mean I'm 
 smarter than you ; that's what you mean. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. You're a traitor! 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD. The betrayer! We 
 ought to kill him altogether. 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD. I'm no traitor ! I'm 
 hungry, that's all I am ! I want to eat ! I haven't 
 had a bite in two days. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. I'm just as hungry 
 as you. We're all hungry. 
 
 SECOND TWELVE-YEAR-OLD. My mother keeps 
 on fainting from hunger. Yesterday she gave us the 
 last piece of bread in the house. She herself hasn't 
 eaten for two days. But I'm fearfully hungry, just 
 the same. 
 
 FIRST TWELVE- YEAR-OLD. I'm terribly hungry, 
 too. But I don't pay any attention to it. 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD. Neither do I. I turn 
 my tongue in my mouth and chew it. And it feels 
 just like eating. (Pointing to the TEN- YEAR-OLD.) 
 I told him to do it, too. 
 
 THE TEN-YEAR-OLD. My tongue can't turn any 
 more. ( Whimpering. ) I want to eat. 
 
 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD. We are all hungry. 
 Just the same we can do something for our side. 
 
 THE THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD (succumbing to tears, 
 and rubbing his palms over his chest and his 
 stomach). I'm hungry. My insides are so hol- 
 low and I feel so faint. I'll die of hunger.
 
 LITTLE HEROES 147 
 
 THE TEN-YEAR-OLD (breaks into tears, sobbing). 
 
 THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD (slapping him). There 
 he goes! Crying! (Begins whimpering himself.) 
 Cry-baby ! Cry-baby ! 
 
 SECOND TWELVE-YEAR-OLD. My mother'll die of 
 hunger. Perhaps she's dead already. (Bursts into 
 tears.) 
 
 FIRST TWELVE-YEAR-OLD (tearfully). I'm get- 
 ting hungry myself now. I wasn't paying any at- 
 tention to it, but now they made me hungry. (Sinks 
 down to the floor and weeps. All except the FOUR- 
 TEEN-YEAR-OLD are now crying. Deep, restrained 
 sobs betray their inconsolable misery.) 
 
 THE FOURTEEN- YEAR-OLD. They're all crying! 
 Just look at them, there the cry-babies ! A fine 
 lot you are to accomplish anything with! Stop it! 
 Stop crying,.! say! Oh! (Brandishes his knife as 
 if he would gladly stab some one, finally flmgs it 
 vehemently away, sinks into the empty chair, hiding 
 his face in his arm, and his sobs are soon heard with 
 those of the others). 
 
 CURTAIN
 
 THE BEAUTIFUL NUN 
 
 A Drama m One Act 
 [Written in June, 1919]
 
 PERSONS 
 
 THE ABBESS 
 SISTER, ERNESTINA 
 SISTER AUDACIA 
 SISTER HEDWIG 
 FIRST SOLDIER 
 SECOND SOLDIER 
 
 The action takes place in time of war
 
 THE BEAUTIFUL NUN 
 
 The small chapel of a nunnery. Before the image of 
 the Holy Virgin burns the perpetual lamp; at the 
 foot of the image kneel the ABBESS and SISTERS 
 ERNESTINA and AUDACIA. From without comes 
 the booming of cannon. 
 
 ABBESS. Holy Virgin, count it not as a sin 
 against us that none of the sisters could be found to 
 risk her life and her honor, and remain here to tend 
 the perpetual lamp. How gladly would I myself stay 
 behind, were it not my duty to lead all the sisters to 
 safety. You know that I would willingly have done 
 so, you who see deep into our hearts. And you 
 would guard me here, you would have warded me from 
 all evil, and no harm would befall me. (Crosses her- 
 self and arises. ) 
 
 THE SISTERS (arise). 
 
 ABBESS. Will none of you then remain under the 
 secure protection of our Holy Virgin ? Sister Ernes- 
 tina, you who are so old in years and strong in faith? 
 
 SISTER ERNESTINA. Gladly would I remain here. 
 I know that the burden of years is a great protection 
 for a lone woman, and surely the hand of the Holy 
 Mother is an even greater protection. But who 
 
 knows the savage enemy in all his godlessness and 
 
 151
 
 152 THE BEAUTIFUL NUN 
 
 wantonness? He acknowledges neither God nor the 
 Holy Mother, nor does he recognize age. I should 
 not wish my many years to be sullied by criminal 
 lust. Pardon me, mother, and let me go with you. 
 
 ABBESS. I can only say that you are childish and 
 that God is not strong within you, Sister Ernestina. 
 I will not force you to remain here. Force is an 
 evil service to the Lord. The Holy Mother asks 
 only love; she would be served by love. Will you 
 not show her that love-service, Sister Audacia? You 
 may assume the office and remain here in all security. 
 You know how very ugly you are. And your ugli- 
 ness, together with God's help, will furnish you even 
 greater protection. 
 
 AUDACIA. I know that I have ever thanked God 
 I was not born with the proud heart that comes from 
 the beautiful face. But never did I know I was as 
 ugly as all that. 
 
 ABBESS. I wish I had a mirror here. If you could 
 see how you look now you would yourself fall in a 
 swoon and for many a day be unable to take a crumb 
 in your mouth for nausea. You came to the nun- 
 nery to hide from the sight of a mirror. 
 
 AUDACIA. Beauty is always merely a matter of 
 taste. How do you know the taste of the enemy's 
 soldiery ? 
 
 ABBESS. Fie ! You must not remain here. You 
 will beam with pride if the beasts attack you. 
 
 AUDACIA. You should not say that. Can you 
 not see that I desire to leave? 
 
 ABBESS. Yes. Talk is useless. Holy Mother !
 
 THE BEAUTIFUL NUN 153 
 
 (Crosses herself piously. ERNESTINA and AUDACIA 
 do likewise. Then they all turn toward the door.) 
 
 SISTER HEDWIG (appears in the doorway. She is 
 very beautiful. The modest nun's garb enhances her 
 beauty). 
 
 ABBESS (unable to suppress a cry of amazement). 
 Sister Hedwig, what are you doing here? You 
 should have been among the first to leave. Why have 
 you brought your beauty here? Be off at once! 
 The enemy is already before the gates. 
 
 HEDWIG (entering the chapel). I will remain 
 here. 
 
 ABBESS. What? 
 
 ERNESTINA and AUDACIA (cross themselves). 
 
 HEDWIG. I will remain here to guard the church 
 and to tend the perpetual lamp. 
 
 ABBESS. Are you in your right senses, sister? 
 
 ERNESTINA. She is certainly out of her mind. 
 
 AUDACIA. That comes from her great beauty, 
 which all have praised so much that her head has been 
 turned. 
 
 HEDWIG. You have read it aright, Sister Audacia. 
 It comes to me from my great beauty, but not because 
 my head has been turned. God sees my heart, and 
 you should all have learned by now that my beauty 
 has never been a source of pride to me. Yet I will 
 remain here, because I rely upon our Holy Mother 
 and upon my beauty. 
 
 ABBESS. What do you mean? 
 
 HEDWIG. My beauty will be my shield. 
 
 ABBESS. Child! What are you saying!
 
 154 THE BEAUTIFUL NUN 
 
 HEDWIG. They will not dare to stain my beauty. 
 
 ABBESS. Folly ! 
 
 HEDWIG. The Holy Mother sent me that thought. 
 I know that the inspiration comes from the Holy 
 Virgin. 
 
 AUDACIA. That comes from Satan. Holy 
 Mother, forgive her her words ! 
 
 HEDWIG. Beauty wakes piety. You have looked 
 upon many a holy picture in your life ; did you ever 
 behold an ugly one? How does our Christ look? 
 How does our Holy Mother appear? How she 
 moves us with her divine beauty ! How do the angels 
 appear? Beauty is inspiration, beauty is prayer, 
 beauty is religion. 
 
 ABBESS. Beauty is seduction, beauty is tempta- 
 tion, beauty is intoxicating wine. Why do you 
 speak, sister, of pictures and statues, of cold marble 
 and colors upon dead canvas? You will be a living, 
 beautiful nun among lust-driven soldiers of the 
 enemy. 
 
 HEDWIG. They will not touch me. 
 
 ABBESS. They will. . . . (Men's voices heard 
 from without.) Ah, they are already here! . . . 
 Quickly, quickly! . . . Sister Hedwig! Sister Hed- 
 wig! (Dashes out, followed by SISTERS ERNESTINA 
 and AUDACIA.) 
 
 HEDWIG (slowly approaches the image and sinks 
 to her knees). 
 
 Two SOLDIERS (dash in with bayonets fixed; seeing 
 nobody, they halt and lower their weapons). 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER (crosses himself).
 
 THE BEAUTIFUL NUN 155 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER (about to do the same, but drops 
 his hand). Bah! An enemy church! 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER. Just look! A nun! On her 
 knees ! 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. She is calling down destruc- 
 tion upon us there. We'll give it to her! Let's 
 see whether she's a young one. 
 
 HEDWIG (crosses herself and hides her face in her 
 hands ) . 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER. She has concealed her face. 
 That means she's a young one. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. You can tell that from her fig- 
 ure. No old worshipper would have a figure like 
 that. Appetizing, what? 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER. But if she's remained behind with- 
 out fear, then she must be an ugly hag. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER (approaching HEDWIG). You've 
 prayed long enough. Let's have a look at you. 
 
 HEDWIG (removes her hands from her face and 
 crosses herself). 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER (recoils in surprise). 
 
 HEDWIG (rises slowly to her feet and turns her 
 face toward the soldiers; she stands close to the wall 
 before the image, and her countenance wears a calm, 
 pious, forgiving expression). 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER (breathless with amazement). 
 What a beauty! As if she had stepped down from 
 a picture. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. And she wasn't afraid. Re- 
 markable. Was she forgotten in the flight, or was 
 she purposely left behind?
 
 156 THE BEAUTIFUL NUN 
 
 HEDWIG. I desired to remain here. 
 
 BOTH SOLDIERS (are entranced with her voice). 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER (after a brief pause). You de- 
 sired to remain behind, did you? 
 
 HEDWIG. To perform my religious duties. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. And weren't at all afraid? 
 
 HEDWIG. I am not afraid. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. Not afraid, hey? 
 
 HEDWIG. I am not in danger. 
 
 SECOND. What? (Both soldiers look around 
 them.) 
 
 HEDWIG. You misunderstood me. No one is con- 
 cealed hereabouts to protect me. My protection is 
 in you yourselves. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. You don't say ! 
 
 HEDWIG. You will allow me to continue my wor- 
 ship before the Holy Virgin and to say my prayers. 
 You, too, are Christians? 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. That makes no difference. I 
 don't know yet whether you remained behind because 
 you were such a pious Christian. Why did you re- 
 main behind? 
 
 HEDWIG. To guard the perpetual lamp. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. Couldn't some old carcass have 
 been left for that purpose? 
 
 HEDWIG. They were all afraid. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. All the old frights were afraid, 
 and you felt no fear? 
 
 HEDWIG. No. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. There must be something be- 
 hind all this. This is a trick.
 
 THE BEAUTIFUL NUN 157 
 
 HEDWIG. I am the only soul in all the nunnery. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. Aren't you supposed to dis- 
 cover something here? To do a little spying? 
 
 HEDWIG (shakes her head in denial, sincerely and 
 piously). 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER (seizes her arm, near the shoul- 
 der). Are you speaking the truth? 
 
 HEDWIG (looks at him with a calm, pious, piercing 
 glance) . 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER (laughs embarrassedly and re- 
 leases her). 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER. She looks like a living Madonna. 
 . . . You could almost believe that the Holy Virgin 
 had stepped down from the image. . . . Ha, ha. . . . 
 
 HEDWIG (shakes her head). No. I am only a 
 nun a servant to the Holy Virgin. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER (to the FIRST SOLDIER). A 
 curse on you. You almost scared me, you jackass! 
 
 HEDWIG. But it was the will of the Holy Mother 
 that I should remain here. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. If not the will of somebody 
 else. None of your idle talk, now. Such a beauti- 
 ful maiden should not have been left behind. We are 
 hungry soldiers. Hungry for everything, do you 
 understand! For a woman, and a young and beau- 
 tiful one in the bargain over-hungry. You 
 should have expected that. 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER. Ha, ha. . . . And so hungry ! 
 
 HEDWIG. You will not disturb me in my duties. 
 Go in peace.
 
 158 THE BEAUTIFUL NUN 
 
 SECOND SOLDIEE. Indeed! (Raises his gwn, 
 aims, and shoots down the perpetual lamp.) 
 
 HEDWIG {shudders, crosses herself and murmurs a 
 prayer). 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER. Ahhhhh. . . . Ha, ha ! 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. There goes your duty ! What 
 will you say now? 
 
 HEDWIG (still stands with eyes closed, her face ex- 
 pressing anguish and grief). 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER (to the FIRST SOLDIER). A 
 beauty, hey? 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER. Devilish beautiful. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. She appeals to you, hey? 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER. Appeals ! I should say so, to the 
 deuce with you ! 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. Then what can hold us back? 
 
 HEDWIG (opens her eyes wide and stares at them). 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER. When she stands looking at us 
 like that? 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. You're a coward, a timorous 
 rabbit ! 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER. God knows I'm not. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. And you're afraid of her. 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER. And you're no braver. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. Ha, ha ! 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER. Women with faces like that may 
 be attacked only in the dark. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. Ha, ha ! You're an ass ! 
 (Harshly, to HEDWIG.) What are you standing 
 there for, as if you were glued to the wall? You've
 
 THE BEAUTIFUL NUN 159 
 
 no more duties to perform here ; there's no perpetual 
 lamp to tend now. You may go ! 
 
 HEDWIG. I will get another lamp, light it, and 
 pray for your sins. 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER. Wait a while ; I will add a few 
 so that you can pray for the new ones, too. Well, 
 why don't you go for the lamp? Why don't you 
 stir from your place? If I take the notion into my 
 head to attack you, I'll have no fear, even if you 
 stand there looking at me through those big eyes of 
 yours. Do you understand? You needn't look at 
 me like that! Understand? The mistake is all 
 yours, and you have nobody else to blame. Well, 
 why don't you say something? What are you stand- 
 ing there for, staring like that as if you were 
 glued to the wall ? Hey ! Isn't there something be- 
 hind you there on the wall? Aren't you concealing 
 something? A button? A signal to press? Away 
 from that wall ! 
 
 HEDWIG (raises both her hands). I swear to you 
 by the Holy Mother of God . . . 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER (breathing hard and eyemg her 
 like a wild beast, awaiting the propitious moment to 
 attack her; he maneuvers so as to get behind her). 
 
 HEDWIG (sees his plan and strives to keep him 
 continually before her eyes). 
 
 FIRST SOLDIER (as Hedwig turns her back to him, 
 smiles bashfully and then throws himself upon her 
 from behind, with both hands across her face, crying 
 out wildly).
 
 160 THE BEAUTIFUL NUN 
 
 SECOND SOLDIER (with a beastly roar raises HED- 
 WIG from the ground, seizing her by the legs). 
 
 CURTAIN
 
 POLAND 1919
 
 " A Scene Out of Terrible Days
 
 POLAND 1919 
 SCENE 
 
 A spacious, dark cellar. From somewhere m the 
 background there steals in a sunbeam, announcing 
 that the clear sun of daylight reigns outside, and 
 revealing the silhouettes of various persons that 
 people the cellar. Most of the forms lie huddled 
 together upon the earth; it is difficult to recognize 
 them as human shapes. A few are seated; three 
 men stand about the shaft of sunlight; one on each 
 side, close to the wall; the third before it, his hands 
 crossed on his breast and his face toward the light. 
 On the ground, in the triangle formed by the three 
 standing men, a group of little boys and girls, 
 reading from books. 
 
 Silence. The atmosphere quivers with intense strain. 
 All are listening intently to every sound that comes 
 from outside. For an appreciable while the silence 
 is unbroken. Then commences a conversation be- 
 tween those who are seated and those who are lying 
 upon the ground. There is a whispering of dry, 
 hungering, weary voices, with pauses between the 
 queries and the replies. 
 
 VOICES. 
 
 It is still quiet outside. 
 165
 
 166 POLAND 1919 
 
 How long has it been quiet ? 
 
 She speaks of time J Do we even know how 
 long we have been here? 
 
 It's surely three or four hours that it's been so 
 quiet. 
 
 What can it mean ? 
 
 Have they ceased fighting, or ? 
 
 It seems as if they've started to parley. 
 There's not a sound from any quarter. 
 
 THE MAN AT THE RIGHT OF THE SUNBEAM. How 
 does our night-prayer run ? " To my right, 
 Archangel Michael; to my left, Archangel Gabriel; 
 before me, Archangel Uriel ; behind me, Archangel 
 Rafael. . . ." And what have we now? to our 
 left, the Poles ; to our right, the Ukrainians ; before 
 us, the Russians ; behind, the Rumanians. . . . 
 
 THE MAN AT THE LEFT (ironically). And where 
 is God? 
 
 ONE WHO is SEATED. If we had thought of God 
 before, then perhaps we should be better off now. 
 
 THE MAN AT THE LEFT. How much better off, 
 dear Rabbi? When has the goodness and the piety 
 of the Jews ever availed them? 
 
 VOICES. 
 
 The Jews have always been scapegoats. 
 
 Outside there, they'll all make peace and then 
 fall upon us all at once. 
 
 One against the other, and all against us. 
 
 We aid in all wars, and then we're massacred 
 even by those in whose ranks we have fought. 
 
 Who knows what will yet be our fate?
 
 POLAND 1919 167 
 
 i Woe! Woe! (There rise the sounds of a 
 soft, guarded, exhausted, dry weeping, for they have 
 wept out all their tears.) 
 
 A WOMAN, SEATED. Oh, Lord of the universe. 
 Let them do anything, anything. . . . Let them 
 break my bones, let them twist my arms, let them kill 
 me; but not that, not that. . . . 
 
 A MAN (beside her). It was fifteen years ago I 
 heard you say that for the first time. 
 
 THE WOMAN. And how many times have I re- 
 peated it since! 
 
 ANOTHER WOMAN. Many a Jewish daughter 
 prayed that before her ; and many a one will pray it 
 after her, perhaps. (Groans.) 
 
 A MAN WHO is STANDING (he is at the right, near 
 the wall, and is invisible because of the mtense dark- 
 ness; his voice is stifled, hoarse, and echoes with 
 despair.) Why? Why? 
 
 THE VOICE OF A MAIDEN (weakly, as if from un- 
 derground). Wasn't that a chill breeze that just 
 blew through? 
 
 Silence 
 
 A LITTLE BOY (near the sunbeam). I've finished 
 my book. Now I'll get very hungry. 
 
 A LITTLE GIRL (near him). Let's change books. 
 I'll give you mine. 
 
 THE BOY. What are you reading? 
 
 THE GIRL. A Polish book. 
 
 THE BOY. I don't know Polish. I'll get terribly 
 hungry.
 
 168 POLAND 1919 
 
 THE GIEL. Then I'll teach it to you. 
 
 THE BOY. Oh, yes ! Good-d-d! Then I won't be 
 so awfully hungry. {They both stretch out upon the 
 ground, before the shaft of light.) 
 
 THE MAN AT THE RIGHT. Just look at the 
 " People of the Book " And some Polish rioter will 
 come along and smash their heads against a rock. 
 
 THE VOICE OF THE MAIDEN. I'm so cold. 
 
 Silence 
 
 THE MAN FACING THE SUNBEAM. But outside 
 it's a glorious summer's day. The sun shines and 
 laughs and warms and 
 
 ONE WHO is LYING DOWN. Shows where to shoot. 
 
 THE MAN FACING THE SUNLIGHT. Yet we are 
 fortunate to have at least one ray of sunlight with 
 us. 
 
 THE VOICE OF THE MAIDEN. What would I do if 
 it were light here? I am all naked. Will no one 
 cover me with something? 
 
 Silence 
 
 VOICES. 
 
 The silence, it seems, is even worse than the 
 firing. While the shooting was going on we could 
 at least expect a bomb to strike the place and put 
 an end to everything. Now we are utterly at a loss. 
 
 Such silence is terror. 
 
 It seems that they are planning some horrible 
 thing around this house. 
 
 God forbid !
 
 POLAND 1919 169 
 
 A LITTLE BOY. I'd like to crawl out and take a 
 look around. 
 
 His MOTHER. Lie where you are ! 
 
 THE BOY. They couldn't see me. I'd creep like 
 a worm. 
 
 His MOTHER. He'd creep, he says ! He can 
 hardly move a hand. 
 
 THE BOY. I'm small, and they couldn't see me. 
 
 His MOTHER {sternly). Lie where you are! 
 
 THE BOY (petulantly). I'm hungry! 
 
 THE VOICE OF A WOMAN (very weak). A crumb 
 of bread. ... A crumb of bread. . . . 
 
 THE VOICE OF THE MAIDEN. I can forget my 
 hunger, but not my nakedness. If I only had some- 
 thing to wrap about me. 
 
 ONE ILL WITH FEVER (with an outcry). I'm 
 burning! I'm on fire! (His mouth is stopped. 
 Some women begin to sob softly.) 
 
 THE UNSEEN QUESTIONER (as if groaning). 
 Why? Why? 
 
 ONE WHO is SEATED. It's enough to lift off your 
 head. 
 
 ANOTHER. Mine has already flown off. Like the 
 cover of a kettle. Whizz ! Up flew my skull-bone ; 
 up, up, and after it my very brains. I can see it 
 high up there. And if I should want to reach it, I 
 would need a very high ladder. That's what makes 
 me so sad. I haven't any such ladder. 
 
 A CHILD (begins to cry in a very weak -voice). I 
 want my fireman's ladder. 
 
 THE MOTHER. Hush-sh! . .
 
 170 POLAND 1919 
 
 A WOMAN. The poor thing is starving and asks 
 for toys. 
 
 THE MOTHER (herself begvwiing to weep). 
 Hush-sh! . . . 
 
 Silence 
 
 THE MAN FACING THE SUNBEAM. How the sun's 
 ray calls and beckons to us ! It makes us forget 
 everything. It seems as if I could mount it and 
 journey upward and upward. . . . And verses of 
 happiness fill my mind. Why do I see only green 
 fields outside? And a merry, glorious world? And 
 a happy tranquility. 
 
 VOICES. 
 
 A " happy tranquility " indeed ! 
 
 We ought really to find out what's going on. 
 THE LITTLE BOY. I'll crawl out. 
 
 VOICES. 
 
 We should all crawl out. Why remain in hid- 
 ing? Why torture ourselves? Let them wipe us 
 out, and end it all. 
 
 As long as we draw breath, we prefer to live. 
 
 Rather a slow exhaustion in hopes of remain- 
 ing alive, than the certainty of death. 
 
 THE LITTLE BOY. I'd crawl upon my belly. I 
 wouldn't even raise my head. I'd peek just like this. 
 
 THE RABBI. We'll wait through just this day. 
 And if it still remains quiet outside, one of us will 
 have to crawl out and discover how matters stand. 
 
 A MAN (his voice is scarcely audible). I'll not 
 survive this day. I am done for.
 
 POLAND 1919 171 
 
 Silence 
 
 THE VOICE OF A WOMAN. A crumb of bread. 
 ... A crumb of bread. . . . 
 VOICES. 
 
 Soon we'll all be speaking like that. 
 
 We, too, will forget our names for hunger. 
 
 We'll never leave this place alive. 
 
 What will not be eaten up by the lice, will be 
 devoured by the mice. 
 
 It's enough to lift your head off. 
 
 THE MADMAN. We'll stand upon one another's 
 shoulders and reach the head. 
 
 A WOMAN (sits bending over something m her 
 lap, and groans with stifling despair). Gone! . . . 
 Gone ! . . . He's dead ! . . . My child is dead ! . . . 
 Tseitele, Avrahmele, Layzer'l is dead. . . . Your 
 brother is dead. 
 
 Two CHILDREN (seated beside her, burst into tears, 
 weeping with weak voices). 
 
 THE WOMAN. He is dead. Now he is well; now 
 he is happy. . . . 
 
 VOICES. 
 
 Ah ! Lord of the universe ! 
 
 Where can we bury him ? 
 
 He'll not be the only corpse very long ; we'll 
 all soon j oin him. 
 
 We'll have to crawl out of here. How can we 
 stay now? 
 
 We'll have to dig a deep grave here. 
 
 For all of us.
 
 172 POLAND 1919 
 
 A LITTLE BOY (wailing). I'm afraid! I want 
 to go out! (A hand is pressed against his mouth.) 
 
 THE QUESTIONER (with an outburst of tears). 
 Why? Why? 
 
 ONE WHO is SEATED. Because we meddle in every- 
 thing. Because we have a hand in everything. For 
 our revolutions. 
 
 THE MAN AT THE LEFT OF THE SUNBEAM. Be- 
 cause of your money-grubbing. Because of your 
 exploitation. Because of your capitalism. 
 
 THE RABBI. Because we have forgotten God. 
 
 ONE WHO is SEATED. Because of our aloofness. 
 Because of our attitude as the chosen people. 
 
 THE MAN AT THE RIGHT OF THE SUNBEAM. Be- 
 cause of your fawning ; because of your assimilation. 
 Because of your obtrusiveness. 
 
 A WOMAN. Now they start to argue. Found the 
 right time for it. They'll get to shrieking yet. 
 
 VOICES. 
 
 Better let us dig the little grave. 
 
 With what can we dig it ? 
 
 I believe I'm lying upon a spade. 
 
 Who has the strength to dig? 
 
 THE WOMAN. I myself. I myself will dig the 
 grave, and dig it for two. How long can I last? 
 I hope I last long enough to dig the grave. 
 
 HER Two CHILDREN (burst into tears). 
 
 THE WOMAN. I'll dig it for four. Don't cry. 
 I'll dig it for four. (Arises and drags herself m the 
 direction of the voice that has mentioned the spade.)
 
 POLAND 1919 173 
 
 THE VOICE. You will have to remove the spade 
 yourself from under me. I haven't the strength to 
 stir. 
 
 THE WOMAN (pulls forth the spade, returns to 
 her place and begins to dig. The sobbing of women 
 is heard). 
 
 THE VOICE OF THE MAIDEN. If she would only 
 scatter the thrown-up earth over me. It would cover 
 my nakedness. 
 
 THE UNSEEN QUESTIONER (through clenched 
 te&th and in an angry voice). Why? Why? 
 (Silence. Only the digging is heard; here and there 
 a weak groan; here and there a sob.) 
 
 A LITTLE BOY. I can't read any more. My eyes 
 hurt. 
 
 ANOTHER. My eyes hurt, too. But when it gets 
 real dark, then we won't be able to read. And then 
 we'll get terribly hungry. 
 
 A LITTLE GIRL. When it grows dark we'll go to 
 sleep. 
 
 FIRST BOY. You must lie down on your stomach, 
 and press it hard. Then you won't feel hungry. 
 
 THE SECOND. When I lie on my stomach I lick 
 up the earth, and I get such an unpleasant feel- 
 ing. . . . 
 
 THE VOICE or A WOMAN. A crumb of bread. 
 ... A crumb of bread. . . . 
 
 ONE ILL WITH FEVER. I'm burning ! . . . I'm on 
 fire; ... I ... (a hand is clapped over his mouth) 
 on fire!
 
 174 POLAND 1919 
 
 THE VOICE OF THE MAIDEN. And I'm so cold. 
 I'm freezing. . . . And how shall I get out of this 
 place? I'm totally naked. 
 
 VOICES. 
 
 She actually hopes to get out of here ! 
 
 There's no getting out of this place. 
 
 Death is lurking about. . . . Madness is hover- 
 ing around. . . . They are crawling over us like 
 vermin. ... I would swear that there's a dead body 
 next to me. . . . 
 
 Woe! Woe! (Weeping.) 
 
 THE WOMAN (who is digging). When I get 
 through I'll give you the spade. 
 
 THE QUESTIONER (with a sudden outcry). Why? 
 
 VOICES (they come from various directions, and 
 ring with terror). Hush-sh! 
 
 ONE NOT FAR FROM THE QUESTIONER. We have 
 forgotten how to shriek. That is it. When the 
 Romans started to rend the skin from the face of 
 Rabbi Ishmael the High Priest, one of the ten 
 martyrs slain by the authorities, he let out such 
 piercing shrieks that there came a voice from heaven, 
 saying : " If you shriek once more, I'll wreck the 
 entire world." That's how we ought to be able to 
 shriek to-day, and let the whole world crumble to 
 dust! 
 
 THE POET (facing the sunbeam). No! Outside 
 shines the glorious sun ! Vast and round and bril- 
 liant ! 
 
 THE MAN AT THE RIGHT. And its rays tell us 
 of a land whither the Jews shall return. it tells
 
 POLAND 1919 175 
 
 of full freedom, of a home of their own, of sunny 
 independence, of a life without persecution, without 
 scorn, without pogroms, of a life 
 
 THE MAN AT THE LEFT. Without master or 
 slave, without exploiter and exploited. The sun- 
 beam speaks to us of a new day and a new world, 
 with a new justice, new relations between man and 
 man, between people and people. 
 
 THE POET. Then let us saddle the sunbeam and 
 fare forth upon its back into the sunny world. For 
 this is the ray of hope. This is the 
 
 (A bomb strikes the spot, burying the refugees 
 beneath the ruins. But above the debris, in the 
 bright light of day, are visible the POET and the QUES- 
 TIONER, gasping with their last breath.) 
 
 THE POET (in exaltation, dying). The vast, 
 beautiful, glorious sun ! 
 
 THE QUESTIONER (with a terrible, heaven-rending 
 outcry). Why? Why? 
 
 CURTAIN
 
 THE STRANGER 
 A Legend-Drama
 
 THE LEGEND IN THE MIDRASH 
 
 Rabbi Yudan, son of Rabbi Aibu, said: Mendhem is 
 his (tlie Messiah's) name. This was the statement 
 made by Rabbi Yudan, son of Rabbi Aibu: Once upon 
 a time a man was plowing, when one of his oxen began 
 to cry aloud. An Arab happened to pass by and 
 said to him, " Who are you? " And he replied, " I 
 am a Jew." And the Arab said, " Unyoke your 
 oxen" The Jew asked, " Why? " The other re- 
 plied, " Because the Temple has been destroyed." 
 Whereupon the Jew asked, " How do you know 
 that? " And the other answered, " I know it from 
 the crying of your ox." As the Arab spoke to him 
 thus the ox again cried out. And the Arab said to 
 the Jew, " Put your oxen back into harness, for there 
 has been born the redeemer of the Jews." Where- 
 upon the first asked, " What is his name? " And the 
 Arab answered, " Menahem is his name." " And 
 what is the name of his father? " He answered, 
 " Hezekiah." And the first asked, " Where does he 
 dwell? " The other answered, " In the Arab district 
 of Bethlehem, in Judah." 
 
 And the man sold his oxen and his plow and bought 
 linens for children, and wandered from one town to 
 another, from one land to another, until he came 
 thither. All the village women came to buy of his 
 
 wares, but the woman who was the mother of the child 
 
 179
 
 180 THE STRANGER 
 
 did not buy of him. So he said to her, " Why do you 
 not buy linens for your child? " And she answered, 
 ff Because my child's fate is an evil one." And he 
 asked, " Why? " Whereupon she replied, " Because 
 at his birth the Temple was destroyed." He an- 
 swered, however, " We must trust in the Lord of the 
 world; through him was the Temple destroyed, and 
 through him will it be rebuilt. Take some of these 
 children's linens," he counseled, " and after some 
 days I shall come for the money." So she took some 
 and went away. 
 
 Days passed and the man said, " I'll go and learn 
 how the child is getting along." So he went to her 
 and asked, " How is the child getting on? " And she 
 replied, " Didn't I tell you that his fate was an evil 
 one and pursued him? For since that time winds 
 and storms came and carried him off" Whereupon 
 he said to her, " Didn't I tell you that through him 
 the Temple was destroyed and through him it would 
 be rebuilt? "
 
 PERSONS 
 
 THE STRANGER 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE 
 
 HER SERVANT 
 
 GURYON 
 
 TARFON ^Three Old Men 
 
 GAMALIEL j 
 
 BERACHIAH 
 
 FIRST GUARD 
 
 SECOND GUARD 
 
 THIRD GUARD 
 
 FIRST WOMAN 
 
 SECOND WOMAN 
 
 THIRD WOMAN 
 
 FOURTH WOMAN 
 
 AN OLD MAN 
 
 Men, women and children of various classes of the 
 population. 
 
 The action takes place in the city of Birath Arba 
 in the time of the destruction of the second Temple.
 
 '
 
 THE STRANGER 
 
 SCENE 
 
 The marketplace of Birath Arba in the background, 
 and to the right and left, shops, consisting of 
 wooden booths placed a short distance from each 
 other, laden with -various articles: clothes, dishes, 
 woolens. In the middle of the square rise three 
 cedar trees. Behind the booths is visible a row of 
 wooden dwellings with trees growing before them. 
 
 From the right of the marketplace comes the noise of 
 a large crowd. The shopkeepers, all of them el- 
 derly people, stand in a group near the shops at 
 the right, and look with frightened countenances 
 in the direction of the commotion. From the 
 houses at the rear and at the left, men, women and 
 children begin to pour forth, agitated, terrified. 
 The noise comes nearer; cries are heard distinctly: 
 " Woe unto us! Woe unto us! Evil tidings have 
 come! Woe unto us! Woe unto us! " 
 
 Enter GURYON, TARFON and GAMALIEL, three snow- 
 white old men, followed by a large crowd that 
 presses upon the place from between the booths. 
 The men of the group are mostly middle-aged or 
 older; the few youths among them are cripples. 
 
 GURYON (in a tearful voice). Children of Israel, 
 183
 
 184 THE STRANGER 
 
 give ear to me, and prepare to hear. Zion is in the 
 throes of death and Jerusalem is about to fall. 
 
 AN OUTBURST OF LAMENTATION. Woe ! Woe ! 
 
 Woe unto us ! 
 
 GURYON. A man has just passed by, a refugee 
 from Jerusalem, and frightful is the tale he bears. 
 Your hearts will melt like wax, and your eyes will 
 brim over with tears. 
 
 AN OUTBURST (stronger than before). Woe! 
 Woe unto us ! 
 
 GURYON. Step by step the besieged army was 
 compelled to retreat before the Romans. They 
 fought like lions and infuriated bulls. Hungry, ex- 
 hausted, faint from lack of sleep, they yet withstood 
 the enemy, and every step forward was dearly paid 
 for by Roman blood. But, alas ! The Romans con- 
 quered, and now there remains to our defenders only 
 a single stronghold the Temple. There they have 
 locked themselves in and the Romans are laying siege 
 to them. Woe, woe unto us! The Romans are be- 
 sieging the Temple ! The Romans are already before 
 the walls of the Temple! (Bursts into tears. The 
 lamentation of the crowd waxes louder.) 
 
 AN OUTBURST. Woe unto us ! Woe unto us ! 
 
 GAMALIEL (tearfully). And hunger is growing in 
 the city. People die in the streets ; they fall like 
 flies. Folks go around like shadows, peering about 
 for something to eat. Miriam, the daughter of 
 Boethius, the wife of the High Priest Joshua 
 
 TARFON. One of the wealthiest women in Jerusa- 
 lem. She used to walk from her house to the Temple
 
 THE STRANGER 185 
 
 upon carpets, costly carpets from Persia. I myself 
 have held them in my hands ; carpets that cost a for- 
 tune. 
 
 GAMALIEL. And she was wont to use two hundred 
 measures of wine each day two hundred measures 
 of wine so you may well imagine her luxurious 
 table ! This selfsame Miriam now walks through the 
 streets of Jerusalem and takes into her mouth the 
 most nauseating objects she finds, stilling her hunger 
 with whatever she can swallow. Miriam, daughter of 
 Nicodemus 
 
 TARFON. Was even wealthier than Miriam, 
 daughter of Boethius. She used to give five hundred 
 golden pieces every day for incense in the Temple. 
 
 GAMALIEL. She wanders through the streets of 
 Jerusalem, picking up the oats that fall from horses' 
 feed. (His bitter weeping increases.) Oh! The 
 curse of the world has come upon us ! Mothers kill 
 their little children, in order to eat flesh. (The 
 weeping of the crowd rises to a new outburst.) 
 
 TARFON (breaking suddenly into lamentation). 
 Woe to our heads ! The Temple has surely been de- 
 stroyed already, and Jerusalem has fallen ! 
 
 VOICES. Woe to our heads ! Woe ! Woe ! The 
 Temple has surely been destroyed ! 
 
 GAMALIEL (bitterly). Woe unto us! Woe unto 
 us! 
 
 A WOMAN (begins to pull her hair, with a bitter 
 outcry). Woe! Woe! Woe! 
 
 GURYON (struggling with his weakness). Silence, 
 you fools! (To TARFON). How could you speak
 
 186 THE STRANGER 
 
 so ? You are old and grey, yet have not learned what 
 miracles the Lord can work. Is it not a miracle that 
 our hungry warriors are victorious over the Romans 
 day after day, and repulse their well-fed legions? 
 Is it not a miracle that many of the Romans, moved 
 by the courage and the heroism of the Jews, desert 
 their banner and their gods and come to our God and 
 to our people? (There is a stir.) 
 
 VOICES. Do they? Is that really so? 
 
 GUEYON. Day after day they do so. (A stir.) 
 
 VOICES. Lord, how almighty Thou art ! 
 
 GURYON. Will He, our omnipotent Lord, permit 
 His House to fall? How could you have spoken so, 
 Tarfon? 
 
 TARPON. Did He not, then, allow His first Tem- 
 ple to be destroyed? I am afraid! I am afraid! 
 
 VOICES. Woe unto us ! Woe unto us ! 
 
 GURYON. May your tongue be paralyzed, Tar- 
 fon ! You blaspheme the Lord, and your words serve 
 only to encourage Satan. And I tell you that the 
 Temple has not been destroyed. Do you imagine 
 that God's House would be destroyed and we and 
 the whole world would not have felt it immediately? 
 Would not the sun have grown dark, and would not 
 the heavens be veiled in sorrow, shedding bitter tears? 
 Would not our hearts weep within our bosoms, and 
 would we not know whence came the tears? And not 
 only we, but even the creatures of the forest and the 
 beasts of the field should be aware of it. Sin not with 
 your speech, and shed your tears not in lamentation, 
 but in entreaty and prayer. Let us clothe ourselves
 
 THE STRANGER 187 
 
 in sackcloth, cover our heads with ashes and torment 
 our bodies with fasting. Let us beg the Lord to be 
 merciful, to remove His heavy hand from His people, 
 and deliver His holy kingdom. Come, let us all pass 
 the day in weeping and in prayer. (The crowd stirs. 
 The lamentation breaks forth anew.) 
 
 VOICES. Fetch sackcloth ! Bring ashes ! 
 
 A MAN'S VOICE (within, to the left of the booths). 
 Swaddling clothes for sale ! Clothes for new-born 
 children ! Swaddling clothes for sale ! For new- 
 born children ! (All eyes turn to the left.) 
 
 GURYON. Who can that be, crying his wares so 
 calmly, while our people are plunged in sorrow? 
 
 THE STRANGER (enters between the two forward 
 shops at the left, carrying a peddler's pack upon his 
 shoulders). That's what I call my luck. I see gath- 
 ered on this marketplace the whole city of Birath 
 Arba, so that it will be all the easier for me to find 
 whom I seek. Tell me, dwells there not among you 
 one Hezekiah by name, to whom was born a son on 
 the day the Temple was destroyed, and who named his 
 son Menahem? (Commotion.) 
 
 A TERRIFIED MURMURING. On the day the Tem- 
 ple was destroyed? 
 
 GURYON, TARFGN and GAMALIEL (with consterna- 
 tion). On the day the Temple was destroyed? 
 
 GURYON. Has the Temple been destroyed? 
 
 THE STRANGER (astonished). You do not know 
 it? Or is it not (firmly). Yes, our Temple has 
 been destroyed ; the crown of our head has fallen. 
 
 VOICES OF LAMENTATION. Our Temple has been
 
 188 THE STRANGER 
 
 destroyed ; the crown of our head has fallen ! 
 
 TARFON (with a trembling voice). Guryon, you 
 see 
 
 GURYON (to THE STRANGER, in a voice choked 
 with tears). Do you come from Jerusalem, or from 
 its vicinity? 
 
 THE STRANGER. I come neither from Jerusalem 
 nor from its vicinity. Birath Arba lies midway be- 
 tween Jerusalem and my home. 
 
 GURYON (raises his eyes, -filled with surprise, to 
 THE STRANGER). And still you already know what 
 we have not yet learned. Did you meet upon the 
 road people from Jerusalem or from its vicinity? 
 
 THE STRANGER. I met nobody upon my way. 
 The roads now are abandoned, deserted, without a 
 traveler. Only, at frequent intervals, hordes of Ro- 
 man soldiers, in high spirits, march by. And they 
 are dangerous because they kill or take prisoner 
 every Jew they encounter. Through forests and 
 night I stole hither, and the journey which ordinarily 
 would have taken me two days, consumed ten. 
 
 GURYON. You come not from Jerusalem, and have 
 met nobody on the way, yet you say 
 
 THE STRANGER. And yet I tell you that the Tem- 
 ple has been destroyed, and that the same day there 
 was born Menahem, who will console us in our mis- 
 fortune and deliver us from our enemies. And that 
 Menahem is among you in Birath Arba. (Commo- 
 tion. ) 
 
 MURMURING AMONG THE PEOPLE. A prophet? 
 Perhaps a false prophet ! Yes, a false prophet !
 
 THE STRANGER 189 
 
 GUEYON (sternly). Who are you that you know- 
 things which you have neither seen nor heard? Has 
 the Lord sent you a token? Has He revealed it to 
 you in a dream? 
 
 THE STRANGER. Your mouth has spoken it. 
 God has revealed it to me through a token. 
 
 MURMURING. A prophet ! A false prophet ! 
 
 GURYON. Speak, and let us know whether to be- 
 lieve you. Who are you, tell us, and how did the 
 Lord reveal Himself to you? 
 
 THE STRANGER. I will tell you straightway, but 
 first let me sit down and moisten my parched throat. 
 (Lowers his pack, sits down upon the earth, takes a 
 drink of water from his skin-bottle, and a bite of 
 carob.) I was a tiller of the soil in a village far 
 in Galilee, and dearer than all else to me was my 
 little piece of earth. When war with the Romans 
 broke out, I was the only able-bodied man left in my 
 village with my oxen, and did not go to help our peo- 
 ple and our country. 
 
 A CRIPPLE (in the front line of the crowd). He 
 confesses that without blushing for shame ! 
 
 THE STRANGER. Hear me further. It was no 
 easy matter for me to remain behind. I waged a 
 bitter battle in my bosom. On one side my people 
 called me, on the other, my beloved earth, until the 
 earth drew me to itself. To my people I am but a 
 lone individual, I said to myself, but to my earth I 
 am all. So I remained with my earth. Around and 
 around our land was devastated. City after city and 
 district after district was captured by the Romans,
 
 190 THE STRANGER 
 
 until at last they beleaguered Jerusalem and more 
 than ever our people needed its sturdy sons. And all 
 this I knew, yet I did not stir from my place. I was 
 ashamed to look to right or to left, yet continued to 
 walk behind my oxen. I was as if grown into my 
 earth, unable to uproot myself from it. 
 
 GURYON (hard). Be brief. We wish to know the 
 Lord's token. 
 
 THE STRANGER (arising). I'll tell it directly. 
 Ten days ago I was in the field with my oxen. Sud- 
 denly they became so restless, and began to cry with 
 such strange sounds, as if something had frightened 
 them. I looked in every direction, under my oxen 
 and above, and beheld nothing that could have given 
 them fright. And since they continued to cry, I 
 raised my staff and beat them, saying to them, " Why 
 do you cry so, you foolish oxen ! " And of a sudden 
 there appears before me an old, old man, with snow- 
 white hair and snow-white beard, and dressed like an 
 Arabian. And he says to me, " Beat not your oxen. 
 Rather unyoke them and cast aside your work, for in 
 this moment the Temple has been destroyed." I 
 cried out in terror, and with trembling heart and 
 quivering hands I did as he bade me. But the oxen 
 began to cry anew. This time the sounds they made 
 seemed as if filled with joy. And the old man spoke 
 again to me. " Yoke your oxen," he said, " and re- 
 turn to your labors, for in this moment there has been 
 born the Messiah who will deliver the Jews from their 
 enemies and rebuild the Temple." (Becoming ex- 
 cited.) And something stirred within me, and I
 
 THE STRANGER 191 
 
 asked the old man what was the name of the new-born 
 child. And he replied, " Menahem is his name." 
 And his father's name? " Hezekiah," he answered. 
 Where does he live? And he responded, " In Birath 
 Arba you will find Menahem's mother." (Commo- 
 tion.) 
 
 MURMURING or VOICES. Did you hear? Did you 
 hear ? Hezekiah Menahem 
 
 THE STRANGER. And as soon as he had spoken 
 this, he vanished before my very eyes, and I knew 
 that God had sent him to me. (His excitement 
 grows.) At first I was overwhelmed with terror, and 
 trembling in every limb I looked about me, and it 
 seemed as if someone were beside me, crowding 
 against me. I wanted to return to my work, but 
 could not. And suddenly my eyes became two 
 springs, and tears began to flow in two streams. 
 And I threw myself down upon the earth and wept 
 bitterly. And when the tears came no longer, a 
 thought filled my head and my heart. Why had God 
 chosen me to receive such a revelation? And it 
 seemed to me as if someone at once answered from 
 beside me, " You earth-worm, bound to the soil, the 
 Lord wishes to punish you for your indifference to 
 your people's sorrows, for your heart of stone which 
 the misfortunes of your Nation have failed to move 1 " 
 I looked around, but saw no one near. It was as if 
 God had spoken to me, and again the great terror 
 descended upon me, and I feared to look to right, to 
 left. And there I sat with eyes closed, and my great 
 terror within me, and with head and heart sought to
 
 192 THE STRANGER 
 
 discover what punishment God had here chosen for 
 me. And suddenly a dark feeling filled me, sending 
 a shudder through my whole body. Everything be- 
 gan to turn before my eyes, and I seemed to hear a 
 voice speaking to me : " You earth-worm, bound to 
 the soil, you did not care to help your people in its 
 war for freedom, and did not care to stand up for its 
 holy Temple. Go and seek out its redeemer and 
 the builder of its future Temple, and be unto him an 
 eternal vassal." And filled with terror, I asked my- 
 self, if God wishes this of me, why has His messenger 
 not told it to me? And I sank into meditation, seek- 
 ing a reply, and waiting for a token from God. And 
 again it seemed as if someone spoke beside me. 
 " God gave you the choice before and gives it to you 
 now. Before, you chose the wrong; now choose the 
 right." And with wildly beating heart I arose from 
 the earth, drove my oxen into the city, sold them 
 together with the yoke, and for the money I received 
 I bought linen for swaddling clothes, so that I might 
 cry my wares in Birath Arba, and ask whatever 
 woman came to me what was her husband's name and 
 when her child was born. But now you are all gath- 
 ered here 
 
 GURYON. And is that your whole story? What 
 proof will you show us, that we may believe you? 
 
 THE STRANGER. Is it not proof enough that I 
 come to you from afar and tell you that on the self- 
 same day on which the Temple was destroyed there 
 was born our redeemer, and that he is here among 
 you?
 
 THE STRANGER 193 
 
 GUEYON. This happened ten days ago, you say? 
 And he is named Menahem? And his father Heze- 
 kiah? (To the populace.) Does any of you know 
 a Hezekiah, to whom ten days ago was born a son 
 whom he named Menahem? 
 
 MURMURING. Do you know such a one? Do you 
 know Hezekiah? 
 
 VOICE (from the back of the crowd). My name 
 is Hezekiah, but no child has been born to me in the 
 last twelve years. 
 
 ANOTHER VOICE (from the side). There is a 
 Hezekiah, son of Halphi, but he has been a widower 
 for these four years. 
 
 A WOMAN'S VOICE. I have not heard of a child 
 being born among us for a month. And I am a mid- 
 wife. 
 
 GURYON (to THE STRANGER). Do you hear? 
 Your proof is no proof at all. 
 
 MURMURING. His proof is no proof at all ! A 
 false proof ! A false prophet ! 
 
 THE STRANGER. That you do not know is surely 
 no proof against me, and you shall see that I will 
 find here the mother of Menahem. 
 
 GURYON. Now I will tell you who you are. You 
 are a fool and a false prophet 
 
 VOICES. A false prophet ! A false prophet ! 
 
 GURYON. You are one of those who are overrun- 
 ning our land in these days. 
 
 TARFON. You are a downright impostor who is 
 looking only to make good profits from his children's 
 linens. But we have no need here of your swaddling
 
 194 THE STRANGER 
 
 clothes. There are places to buy them, without you. 
 I have plenty of them in my own shop. 
 
 GAMALIEL. You are a liar who little cares that 
 with his falsehoods he can make his hearers' hearts 
 stop beating and take away all desire to eat or drink. 
 
 GURYON. You are a sinner and a blasphemer who 
 utters evil words to weaken the faith of believers in 
 God. 
 
 TARPON. He wants to cry his wares all the louder, 
 so he invents a likely tale. You deserve to be beaten, 
 you impostor ! 
 
 VOICES. Beat him! Stone him! Stone him! 
 (The circle about THE STRANGER becomes narrower, 
 and hands are raised against him.) 
 
 THE STRANGER. Hold! (The din subsides.) 
 Give me but three days' time, and if within those 
 three days I do not discover the child Menahem, or 
 you learn that the Temple has not been destroyed, 
 then you may stone me. But should you learn within 
 those three days that the Temple has been destroyed 
 as I have told you, and if I do not within that time 
 discover the child Menahem, then allow me to remain 
 in your city and wait, for I am sure that I shall find 
 him. 
 
 GURYON. Let it be as you say. And more. We 
 will at once send out messengers upon the various 
 roads to Jerusalem to learn how matters stand there, 
 and you shall remain here until they return. And if 
 they bring back reports that show you to have lied, 
 \ve will punish you as a false prophet deserves to be 
 punished. But if the reports show you to have told
 
 THE STRANGER 195 
 
 the truth, and the Temple is really destroyed, you 
 may remain here as long as you please, and we shall 
 all wait to see what time will bring forth for you. 
 Our meeting-house stands open to you. There you 
 will sleep at night and find your rest by day. 
 
 THE STRANGER. My profuse thanks. But the 
 sky over my head has always been roof enough for 
 me. I shall remain here upon the marketplace and 
 cry my wares until Menahem's mother comes to me. 
 
 TARFON. Do not believe him. He will sell out his 
 wares and then he will leave to spread his lies broad- 
 cast and utter blasphemy. 
 
 THE STRANGER. I will sell nothing to any woman. 
 
 GAMALIEL. We shall have to watch him, lest he 
 run away. 
 
 GURYON. Leave everything to me. All will be 
 right. (Turns to several of the bystanders.) You, 
 Berachiah, and you, and you, and you, off at once 
 upon the roads that lead to Jerusalem. Should you 
 meet anyone coming from Jerusalem, very well indeed. 
 Then you can learn from him at once how matters 
 stand there. But be sure to question him thor- 
 oughly, and not believe his very first words. For 
 who knows who the person may be. Better wait to 
 meet a second and a third, and if they all tell the 
 same story, you may then believe. In that case, 
 bring us the news just as it is; good or bad, bring 
 it to us as fast as your feet can carry you. But 
 should you encounter nobody for the roads are de- 
 serted and desolate then press on to Jerusalem, 
 steal in behind the Roman lines, if that be necessary,
 
 196 THE STRANGER 
 
 make your way into the city and learn everything. 
 And bring us the news as fast as possible. 
 
 BERACHIAH. Do you not think that your last 
 suggestion is a very dangerous one? 
 
 GURYON. That I know quite well, my friend. 
 But I did not know that in Birath Arba there were 
 grown-up men who would decline a mission because it 
 was dangerous. 
 
 VOICES. Well spoken, Guryon ! 
 
 BERACHIAH. Very well. We leave at once. 
 (BERACHIAH and the three other men leave, followed 
 by several women and children, who accompany them 
 out, to the right. The women dry their eyes.) 
 
 GURYON (to three other men in the crowd). And 
 you three remain here on guard over the stranger. 
 See to it that he does not squirm out of his well- 
 merited punishment. 
 
 ONE or THE THREE. We will guard him well. 
 
 GURYON. And let all the rest of us go into the 
 meeting-house to pass the time in prayer and in fast- 
 ing, garbed in sackcloth and with ashes upon our 
 heads. (Leaves toward the left, followed by TAR- 
 FON and GAMALIEL and then the crowd. The shop- 
 keepers hurriedly pack their wares and close their 
 shops, hastening after the crowd. There remain 
 upon the stage only THE STRANGER, THE THREE 
 GUARDS and some women from nearby houses. A 
 few of the latter have their children with them. 
 They stand in groups near the shops and stare at 
 THE STRANGER.)
 
 THE STRANGER 197 
 
 THE STRANGER (sits down, opens Ids pack and 
 looks at the linens, speaking as if to himself). 
 Menahem, son of Hezekiah Menahem, son of Heze- 
 kiah 
 
 FIRST GUARD. Repeat it well, repeat it well, so 
 that you shall not forget your lie. 
 
 SECOND GUARD. That will do him no good. He 
 will not carry his lie out of this city, anyway. 
 
 THIRD GUARD. He will be buried under a heap of 
 stones, together with his lie. 
 
 THE STRANGER (arises and calls). Swaddling 
 clothes for sale ! Linens for new-born children ! 
 Swaddling clothes ! Linens for new-born children ! 
 
 FIRST GUARD. Cry louder ! Your Hezekiah's 
 wife is deaf in one of her feet and lame in an ear. 
 
 SECOND GUARD. Look out ! Look out ! She'll 
 fall right down on your head. 
 
 THE STRANGER. Swaddling clothes for sale ! 
 Linens for new-born children ! 
 
 THIRD GUARD. He shouts and shouts, and doesn't 
 become hoarse. Maybe we have a madman on our 
 hands ! 
 
 A WOMAN (approaches the stranger's pack). 
 We may as well look at his wares meanwhile. (Sev- 
 eral other women draw near and begin to examine 
 the linens.) 
 
 FIRST WOMAN. It is good linen. 
 
 SECOND WOMAN. Excellent. 
 
 THIRD W T OMAN. Tarfon's cloth is not half so 
 good.
 
 198 THE STRANGER 
 
 FOURTH WOMAN. And Gamla's is much worse. 
 
 FIRST WOMAN. I have a good mind to buy some. 
 How much is it by the ell ? 
 
 THE STRANGER. Do not be foolish, woman. If 
 your husband's name is not Hezekiah, and your son's 
 Menahem, then you can get no goods from me. 
 
 FIRST WOMAN. So you are really afraid of the 
 guards? That is all right. They will close their 
 eyes and pretend not to see. 
 
 SECOND WOMAN. And if my child is a girl, and is 
 named Tamar, is she not entitled to some of your 
 good linen? 
 
 THIRD WOMAN. And if my son's name is Nahmen, 
 he surely is entitled to some? How far is it from 
 Nahmen to Menahem? 
 
 FIRST WOMAN. How much does an ell cost? 
 You may tell us, at least? (The Stranger closes his 
 pack.) 
 
 FOURTH WOMAN. See, he closes his bundle and 
 does not even look at us. 
 
 FIRST GUARD. Alas, what a defeat ! Our most 
 beautiful women have besieged a man and could not 
 capture him. 
 
 FIRST WOMAN. If only you weren't here. 
 
 FIRST GUARD. What will you give me if I shut 
 my eyes? 
 
 SECOND GUARD. And I want a share. 
 
 FIRST GUARD. Her bed is too small for three. 
 
 THIRD GUARD. You shouldn't talk like that when 
 our people are gathered in prayer and tears. 
 
 THIRD WOMAN. That is man's way: amid the
 
 THE STRANGER 199 
 
 greatest misfortunes he never forgets his lust. Even 
 at the point of slaughter, the cock pursues the hen. 
 
 THE STRANGER. Swaddling clothes for sale ! 
 Linens for new-born children ! 
 
 FOURTH WOMAN. Why do you shout your wares 
 like that? We are not deaf. Open your pack. 
 
 THE STRANGER. I do not sell to you. You al- 
 ready know that. 
 
 (A young wife enters. Her clothes show that she 
 has made a long journey on foot. She comes in at 
 the right background, from between two shops, and 
 stands, unobserved.) 
 
 FIRST WOMAN. See, he really believes that we are 
 dying to purchase his goods ! 
 
 SECOND WOMAN. It is not at all so good as it 
 seemed to be upon first inspection. It is not strong. 
 
 THIRD WOMAN. It would fall to pieces at the first 
 washing. (The women notice the newcomer, and 
 look at her in surprise.) 
 
 FIRST WOMAN (to the Second). Who is that 
 standing there? 
 
 SECOND WOMAN. She is unknown to me. 
 
 THIRD WOMAN. I have never seen her, either. 
 
 FOURTH WOMAN. I could swear she is a stranger. 
 
 FIRST WOMAN. From her clothes it looks as if she 
 had just arrived. 
 
 (The Stranger notices the newcomer. THE 
 YOUNG WIFE becomes aware that she is being closely 
 scrutinized and steps back several paces in great em- 
 barrassment.)
 
 200 THE STRANGER 
 
 FIRST GUARD. Whom are you seeking here, my 
 beauty ? 
 
 THE STRANGER. Come closer, do. Why do you 
 stand aloof? You may also inspect my wares. 
 
 (THE YOUNG WIFE approaches, hesitantly, blush- 
 ing deeply with embarrassment. The other women 
 again draw near to the STRANGER.) 
 
 FIRST WOMAN. Inspect, and no more. For he 
 will not sell you his goods. 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE (in scarcely audible tones). 
 I expected it. Nor is my heart upon buying. 
 
 THE STRANGER. What was it you expected? 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. That you would refuse to 
 sell me your wares. My child of misfortune deserves 
 it, too. 
 
 FIRST WOMAN. Your child of misfortune? 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE (with tears). Yes, my child is 
 a child of misfortune. It is 
 
 FIRST GUARD. What ails your child? Speak 
 clearly. 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE (weeping). It was born to me 
 on the day our Temple was destroyed! (Intense 
 commotion; exclamations of great astonishment.) 
 
 THE STRANGER. Ha! What was that you said? 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. I knew that you would all be 
 surprised. My child and I deserve to be scorned. 
 
 FIRST GUARD (in great agitation). Where do you 
 come from? Speak! 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. From Jerusalem. 
 
 THE STRANGER. When was your child born? 
 Tell us once more.
 
 THE STRANGER 201 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. You heard me. I cannot 
 bring it to my lips again. 
 
 SECOND GUARD. How long how long ago did 
 this happen? 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. Surely you must know. Ten 
 days ago. (A stir, and renewed exclamations of 
 amazement.) 
 
 THE STRANGER. What is the name of your child? 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. My child of misfortune bears 
 a false name. His father wished it so. His name is 
 Menahem. (The commotion grows. The bystand- 
 ers recoil in fear from the Stranger and the Young 
 Wife.) 
 
 THE STRANGER (breathlessly). Ah! And what 
 is your husband's name? 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. Why do you shout so? 
 (Looks at him closely and throws herself impetu- 
 ously upon him.) Then you know my husband, per- 
 haps? Do you know me? Do you know, perhaps, 
 what has become of my husband? Have you some 
 terrible news to tell me? I see it in your eyes. 
 You are frightened, you are confused. (Hysteric- 
 ally. ) Tell me ! Have the Romans slain him ? 
 Have they sold him into slavery? Tell me, where! 
 Tell me, to whom! (Tearing her hair madly.) My 
 Hezekiah! My Hezekiah! (General consterna- 
 tion. ) 
 
 THE STRANGER. Oh ! (He clutches his heart and 
 his head and rubs his eyes as if struggling against a 
 feeling of faintness. Several of the women seize their 
 children and run off in hysterical fright.)
 
 202 THE STRANGER 
 
 FIRST GUARD (to the SECOND GUARD). Run at 
 once to fetch Guryon, Tarfon and Gamaliel. Tell 
 them what you have heard, and bid them to come here 
 directly. (SECOND GUARD runs off to the left.) 
 
 THE STRANGER ( regains his composure and speaks 
 in a quiet voice). Calm yourself. I know neither 
 you nor your husband. I bring no news of him. 
 Tell me, rather (Cries out exultantly.) Tell 
 me, rather, where is your son? Where have you left 
 your Menahem? 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE (scarcely able to speak). I 
 left him in a house on the outskirts of the city. 
 (Brokenly.) Why do you persist in questioning me 
 about my child of misfortune? 
 
 THE STRANGER. Silence, woman ! You know not 
 what you speak. Your son is not a child of mis- 
 fortune, but a child of happiness and consolation. 
 He is a Menahem, a " consoler " of our people. On 
 the day of his birth the Temple was destroyed and 
 our people defeated, but he will rebuild our Temple 
 and will lead our people to new victories. 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. What are you talking about? 
 Are you trying to console me? Or are you mocking 
 an unhappy woman? 
 
 THE STRANGER. Come, lead me to your son. 
 God has appointed me His vassal and He sent me 
 hither from afar, to find him here. Come ! You will 
 hear everything. Come, lead me to your son ! Upon 
 my arms I will carry him and watch over him, even 
 as the most faithful nurse. Come, quickly t 
 
 FIRST GUARD. Halt! You must not leave this
 
 THE STRANGER 203 
 
 spot ! I see it all now. This is a plot. This woman 
 is in league with you and wants to save you from 
 our hands. 
 
 THE STRANGER. You blasphemer, you evil- 
 tongued wretch, you carrion-mouth, how dare you 
 now speak so? How can you hold me back from that 
 to which God has appointed me? 
 
 FIRST GUARD. Perhaps I am wrong. But you 
 shall not leave. We -were placed here to guard you 
 and we will not release you. You yourself promised 
 to remain here in the market-place. Keep your 
 pledge. 
 
 THE STRANGER. Yes, I promised it: until she 
 should come the mother of Menahem. 
 
 FIRST GUARD. You must wait until Guryon re- 
 turns. 
 
 THE STRANGER. Jew, you are sinning now against 
 your Messiah. 
 
 FIRST GUARD. I am doing my duty. 
 
 THE STRANGER. Then I must wait, and that is 
 a grievous sin. 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. I understand nothing of what 
 you two are saying. 
 
 THE STRANGER. You will understand later. God 
 appointed me to come hither and seek you out, be- 
 cause your son was born to be our Messiah. 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. The child of misfortune? 
 
 THE STRANGER. Name him not so, I have already 
 told you. And how come you, pray, to call him thus? 
 (The women draw closer and surround the YOUNG 
 WIFE and the STRANGER.)
 
 204 THE STRANGER 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. How else could he be called, 
 when he was born on such a day? Oh, how I prayed 
 not to have him on that day ! I entreated God not to 
 open my womb, that my child should not have to go 
 through life with the consciousness that on the day of 
 his birth his people was visited with the most ter- 
 rible and grievous of disasters that he should not 
 be to me as an eternal tombstone over the grave of my 
 nation and its faith. And when God did not give ear 
 to me, and the pangs of my labor increased, I wished 
 to oppose the Lord and work my own will. I bit my 
 lips and held in my breath. I wanted to keep my 
 child in my womb. And when the pains grew 
 stronger and I gasped for air, losing the strength of 
 my will and when I saw that the child would be 
 born despite all, I prayed to God that it be born 
 dead. " Lord," I cried, " this will be your greatest 
 mercy. Lord," I wept, " how shall I be able to re- 
 joice in my child, when my whole people is blind with 
 tears and plunged in defeat? " And I restrained 
 my cries of anguish and prayed to God. " Lord, my 
 husband has gone off to wage war for your Sacred 
 House and for the freedom of your chosen people. 
 He was not held back by his deep love for me or by 
 his joyous expectation of the child under my breast. 
 And I, too, choked back my tears and prepared him 
 for war, and if I had not had the child under my 
 breast, I would not have let him depart alone, but 
 would have marched along with him and fought side 
 by side with him against your enemies and together 
 with your noble sons. You know my heart, and
 
 THE STRANGER 205 
 
 know that I would have done so. Now show me your 
 mercy, and let me not yet bear my child, or let it be 
 born dead." But God deserted His chosen people, 
 and abandoned me, too. I gave birth to the child, 
 and, as you see, he was born alive. 
 
 THE STRANGER. That was the third hour after 
 mid-day ? 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. You know that, too? Yes, 
 it was the third hour after mid-day. The last walls 
 of the Temple had collapsed in the flames and the last 
 heroes were slain and in that selfsame moment my 
 son's cries filled the house. How happy should I have 
 been, had I heard his first cries at any other time. 
 But all I could do then was weep, and I wept long and 
 bitterly, and from the street there came into my home 
 the wailing of our people. (Bursts into tears.) 
 
 THE STRANGER. Weep not. You spoil your 
 milk. 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. My milk my milk is as bit- 
 ter as gall. And I grudge him every drop. As soon 
 as he was born I became angry with God. I raised 
 my hand against Heaven, and cried, " God, you de- 
 sired him to live, then give him nourishment, for I 
 will not suckle him." I turned away and did not even 
 wish to see him. But when he began to cry louder 
 and louder, I, too, burst into tears and took him to 
 my breast with my eyes closed, so as not to see 
 him. (From the left comes the mingling of many 
 voices.) 
 
 THE STRANGER. Here they come. Oh, I shall 
 soon behold your son! (GURYON, TARFON, GAMA-
 
 206 THE STRANGER 
 
 LIEL and the SECOND GUARD enter, followed by the 
 populace, all m sackcloth and ashes.) 
 
 GURYON. Where is the woman? Where is she? 
 (The women separate. GURYON approaches the 
 YOUNG WIFE.) Are you the woman from Jerusa- 
 lem? 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. I am the woman. 
 
 GURYON. And you say that the Temple has 
 fallen? 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE (her eyes wide open with sur- 
 prise). And you have not yet heard of it? 
 
 GURYON. We have not heard of it, nor do we 
 know it now. 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE (with tears). It happened ten 
 days ago. At the third hour after mid-day its last 
 walls crumbled in. 
 
 VOICES. Hear ! Hear ! Tremble ye heavens ! 
 (Wailing.) 
 
 GURYON. Whither go you now, and what seek 
 you here ? 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. I seek my husband. He was 
 in the army against the Romans, under Eleazer, and 
 was captured. I have been informed that he is now in 
 Syria. Thither I am journeying; I am merely pass- 
 ing through this city. 
 
 GURYON. Are you telling us the truth? Will 
 you swear to your words? (There is a disturbance 
 at the right.) 
 
 BERACHIAH, and ONE OF THE MESSENGERS (come 
 running in, their clothes torn). Woe unto us ! Woe 
 unto us ! The Temple has fallen ! Fallen ! Fallen !
 
 THE STRANGER 207 
 
 (The YOUNG WIFE bursts into tears; the other women 
 do likewise.) 
 
 GURYON. When did this happen? 
 
 BERACHIAH. Precisely as the Stranger related, 
 ten days ago. 
 
 GURYON. How did you learn of this? 
 
 BERACHIAH. As soon as we had struck the road 
 to Hebron, we came upon a horde of Jews who were 
 making their way thence to Gilead, and they told us 
 the woeful tidings with tears in their eyes and with 
 a wringing of hands. 
 
 THE STRANGER. Now lead me to your son! 
 Come all, follow me ! Shed tears for what has been 
 lost, but rejoice in what is to come. A son has been 
 born unto her, and he is called Menahem, and he will 
 be to us a consoler and a redeemer, a builder and a 
 reconstructor ! Follow me ! Come, behold the child ! 
 Come, fortunate woman, lead us to your child 
 your child of good fortune, your child of redemption ! 
 (There is a stir in the background. The SERVANT 
 and the OLD MAN elbow their way to the YOUNG 
 WIFE). 
 
 THE SERVANT (falls wailing upon her knees before 
 the YOUNG WIFE). Kill me! Woe! 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. What has happened? 
 
 THE SERVANT. Kill me ! Put me to death ! 
 Your child is no more ! 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE (in terror). My child is dead? 
 
 THE STRANGER. Menahem is dead? 
 
 MURMURING AMONG THE PEOPLE (with accents of 
 despair). Dead?
 
 208 THE STRANGER 
 
 THE SERVANT (struggling for breath between her 
 sobs}. No. Not dead! 
 
 THE STRANGER (enlightened). Oh! 
 
 MURMURING AMONG THE PEOPLE. Not dead ! 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. Then what has befallen him? 
 
 THE SERVANT. Hear me out. You left me with 
 your child outside, before the house, until you should 
 return with the swaddling clothes ; and I lay the child 
 down before me and began to sew his little shirt. 
 Suddenly it became dark, just like before a storm 
 I had not noticed how the darkness came upon us 
 and a great wind arose. I leaned over to the child, 
 about to take it into my arms and carry it indoors : 
 suddenly I was blown about by the wind, my eyes were 
 filled with sand and I felt as if someone tore the 
 child from my grasp. And when I opened my eyes 
 it was light again, but I did not see the child. I 
 looked around, began to seek, but could not find him. 
 I raised an alarm, the people came out of their houses, 
 I told them the misfortune, they helped me seek, and 
 we sought far and wide, but could not find him. 
 They are here with me, they can bear witness that I 
 tell no lie. 
 
 THE OLD MAN (at her side). She speaks the pure 
 truth. I happened to be standing at the window, and 
 it was just as if I saw the wind raise the child aloft 
 and bear it away. 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. My child ! 
 
 THE SERVANT. Put me to death if I am guilty! 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE. Arise, you are not guilty. 
 Such is my child's fate.
 
 THE STRANGER 209 
 
 VOICES. Why do we stand here? Let us run to 
 seek the child. (THE STEANGEE appears to 
 awaken. ) 
 
 GUEYON. What would you have? (THE 
 STEANGEE relapses into revery.) 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE {through her tears). Did I 
 not tell you that he was a child of misfortune? 
 
 THE STEANGEE (uttering his words with delibera- 
 tion, his gaze fixed upon the distance). Name him 
 not so. He is no child of misfortune, I have told you. 
 On the day of his birth the Temple was destroyed, 
 but he was born to build us a new one. I go to seek 
 him. God has imposed this task upon me. I see it 
 clearly. (Of a sudden he becomes old, and his hair 
 and beard turn white.) 
 
 VOICES. See how he looks J See how he looks ! 
 
 GUEYON (recoils m terror). And him we called 
 liar and sinner? 
 
 THE STEANGEE. Sinner, yes. I have committed 
 the most evil of sins. I did not care to fight for the 
 freedom of my people. Now God's terrible punish- 
 ment descends upon me. I shall have to wander over 
 the length and breadth of the earth. I see it. And 
 long, long shall I have to seek. I feel it. I do what 
 I must. (Places the peddler's pack on his shoul- 
 ders.) I do what I must. (With uplifted arms he 
 leaves in the direction of the right.) 
 
 THE YOUNG WIFE (falls prostrate). My child! 
 (The bystanders sink to their knees.) 
 
 CURTAIN
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY, LOS ANGELES 
 
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