GIL BLAS AND THE ACTORS. 
 
 p. 172.
 
 r/7 f^ftC 
 
 THE 
 
 ADVENTURES 
 
 GIL B L A S 
 
 SANTILLANE. 
 
 TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH OF LESAGB, 
 
 BY TOBIAS SMOLLETT. 
 
 , witfi 
 
 PHILADELPHIA : 
 
 PORTER & COATES,
 
 THE French have nothing in their language comparable to Gil 
 Bias ; but the memory of the author has been consigned to a very 
 few scanty notices. 
 
 ALAIN RENE LE SAGE was born, according to one of his bio- 
 graphers, in 1677, at Ruys, in Brittany ; or according to another, in 
 1668, at Vannes. At the age of twenty-five he came to Paris, with 
 a view to study philosophy. He made himself first known by a 
 paraphrastic translation of the Letters of Aristenetus. He then 
 travelled through Spain, and applied to the study of the Spanish 
 language, customs and writers; from whom he adopted plots and 
 fables, and transfused them into his native tongue with great facil- 
 ity and success. His works of this kind are, Guzman de Alfarache ; 
 the Bachelor of Salamanca; Gil Bias; New Adventures of Don 
 Quixote, originally written by Avellaneda; the Devil on Two 
 Sticks; and some others of less note. Of the Devil on Two Sticks, 
 we are told that the first edition had amazing success, and the second 
 sold with still greater rapidity. Two noblemen, coming to the book- 
 seller's, found only one single copy remaining, which each was for 
 purchasing ; and the dispute grew so warm that they were going 
 to decide it by the sword, had not the bookseller interposed. 
 
 He was also distinguished for some dramatic pieces, of which 
 Crispin and Turcaret, both comedies, were the most successful, and 
 allowed to fall very little short of the genius of Moli^re. He com- 
 posed also many pieces for the comic opera. 
 
 It was his custom to read his plays in certain fashionable circles, 
 before they were publicly represented. On one of these occasions, 
 when engaged to read a piece at the Duchess de Bouillon's, an 
 
 (iii)
 
 iv MEMOIR OF TUB A UTHOR. 
 
 unexpected affair detained him till a considerable time after the 
 appointed hour. The duchess, on his entrance, pleasantly reproached 
 him for having made the company lose two hours in waiting for 
 him. " If I have made them lose them," said Le Sage, " nothing 
 can be more easy than to recover them. I will not read my play ;" 
 and immediately took his leave ; nor could any invitation induce 
 him to visit the duchess a second time. 
 
 He had several children, the eldest of whom was long a distin- 
 guished actor ou the French stage, under the name of Montmenil ; 
 and was a man of irreproachable character. He died suddenly 
 while partaking of the pleasures of the chase, Sept. 8, 1743. 
 
 His death was a severe loss to his father, who was now grown old, 
 and had been poorly rewarded by the age which he contributed so 
 often to entertain. He was likewise at this time very deaf, and 
 obliged to have recourse to an ear-trumpet. This infirmity depriv- 
 ing Le Sage of the most rational pleasures of society, he retired to 
 Boulogne-sur-mer, in the cathedral of which one of his sons held a 
 canonry; and although of an advanced age, he left the metropolis 
 of taste, literature and gayety with considerable regret. He did not 
 enjoy his retirement long, being cut off by a severe illness, Nov. 17, 
 1747, in his eightieth year. He was interred at Boulogne, with the 
 following epitaph : 
 
 Sous ce'tombeau git Le Sage, abattu 
 Par le ciseau de la Parque importune : 
 S'il ne fut pas ami de la Fortune, 
 II fut toujours ami de la Vertu. 
 
 His character is said to have been truly amiable: he was free 
 from ambition, and courted fortune no farther than was necessary 
 to enjoy the pleasures and quiet of a literary life. 
 
 Of all his works, that now presented to the reader is by far the 
 most popular, and deservedly ranks very high among the productions 
 of historical fancy. It has been, we believe, translated into every 
 European language, and received in all nations as a faithful portrait 
 of human nature. Few books have been so frequently quoted, as 
 affording happy illustrations of general manners, and of the com- 
 mon caprices and infirmities incident to man. " Le Sage," says Dr. 
 Moore, " proves himself to have been intimately acquainted with 
 human nature."
 
 THE AUTHOR'S DECLARATION. 
 
 THERE are some people in the world so mischievous as not to 
 read a work without applying the vicious or ridiculous characters 
 it may happen to contain to eminent or popular individuals. 
 I protest publicly against the pretended discovery of any such 
 liknesses. My purpose was to represent human life historically as 
 it exists. God forbid that I should hold myself out as a portrait- 
 painter. Let not the reader, then, take to himself public property, 
 for if he does, he may chance to throw an unlucky light on his 
 Own character : as Phsedrus expresses it, Stvlfe nudalit animi con- 
 scientiam. 
 
 Certain physicians of Castille, as well as of France, are some- 
 times a little too fond of trying the bleeding and lowering system 
 on their patients. Vices, their patrons, and their dupes, are of 
 every day's occurrence. To be sure, I have not always adopted 
 Spanish manners with scrupulous exactness ; and in the instance 
 of the players at Madrid, those who know their disorderly modes of 
 living may reproach me with softening down their coarser traits ; 
 but this I have been induced to do from a sense of delicacy, and in 
 conformity with the manners of my own country. 
 
 (T)
 
 GIL BLAS TO THE READER. 
 
 READER I hark you, my friend ! Do not begin the story of my 
 life till I have told you a short tale. 
 
 Two students travelled together from Penafiel to Salamanca. 
 Finding themselves tired and thirsty, they stopped by the side of a 
 spring on the road. While they were resting there after having 
 quenched their thirst, by chance they espied on a stone near them, 
 even with the ground, part of an inscription, in some degree effaced 
 by time, and by the tread of flocks in the habit of watering at that 
 spring. Having washed the stone, they were able to trace these 
 words in the dialect of Castille : Aqui esld encerrada el alma del licen- 
 ciado Pedro Oarcias. " Here lies interred the soul of the licentiate 
 Peter Garcias." 
 
 " Hey-day !" roars out the younger, a lively, heedless fellow, who 
 could not get on with his deciphering for laughter: " This is a good 
 joke indeed : ' Here lies interred the soul.' ... A soul interred I 
 ... I should like to know the whimsical author of this ludicrous 
 epitaph." With this sneer he got up to go away. His companion, 
 who had more sense, said within himself: " Underneath this stone 
 lies some mystery ; I will stay and see the end of it. Accordingly, 
 he let his comrade depart, and without loss of time began digging 
 round about the stone with his knife till he got it up. Under it he 
 found a purse of leather, containing a hundred ducats, with a card 
 on which were written these words in Latin : " Whoever thou art 
 who hast wit enough to discover the meaning of the inscription, I 
 appoint thee my heir, in the hope thou wilt make a better use of my 
 fortune than I have done !" The student, out of his wits at the 
 discovery, replaced the stone in its former position, and set out 
 
 (vii)
 
 vm 
 
 GIL BIAS TO THE READER. 
 
 again on the Salamanca road with the soul of the licentiate in his 
 pocket. 
 
 Now, my goou friend and reader, no matter who you are, you 
 must be like one or the other of these two students. If you cast 
 your eye over my adventures without fixing it on the moral con- 
 cealed under them, you will derive very little benefit from the 
 perusal : but if you read with attention you will find that mixture 
 of the useful with the agreeable, so successfully proscribed by 
 Horace.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 BOOK I. 
 
 PAOK 
 
 CHAP. 1. The birth and education of Gil Bias, 17 
 
 CHAP. 2. Gil Bias' alarm on his road to Pegnaflor ; his adventures 
 
 on his arrival in that town; and the character of the 
 
 men with whom he supped, . . . , . .19 
 CHAP. 3. The muleteer's temptation on the road ; its consequences, 
 
 and the situation of Gil Bias between Scylla and Cha- 
 
 rybdis, 25 
 
 CHAP. 4. Description of the subterraneous dwelling and its contents, . 28 
 CHAP. 5. Arrival of the banditti in the subterraneous retreat, with 
 
 an account of their pleasant conversation, . . .30 
 CHAP. 6. The attempt of Gil Bias to escape, and its success, . . 35 
 CHAP. 7. Gil Bias, not being able to do what he likes, does what he 
 
 can, .38 
 
 CHAP. 8. Gil Bias goes out with the gang, and performs an exploit 
 
 on the highway, 39 
 
 CHAP. 9. A more serious incident, 42 
 
 CHAP. 10. The lady's treatment from the robbers. The result of the 
 
 great design conceived by Gil Bias, 43 
 
 CHAP. 11. The history of Donna Mencia de Mosquera, . . .48 
 
 CHAP. 12. A disagreeable interruption, 53 
 
 CHAP. 13. The lucky means by which Gil Bias escaped from prison, 
 
 and his travels afterwards, 56 
 
 CHAP. 14. Donna Mencia's reception of him at Burgos, . . .59 
 CHAP. 15. Gil Bias dresses himself to more advantage, and receives a 
 
 second present from the lady. His equipage on setting 
 
 out from Burgos, 62 
 
 CHAP. 16. Showing that prosperity will slip through a man's fingers, . 65 
 CHAP. 17. The measures Gil Bias took after the adventure of the 
 
 ready-furnished lodging, 70 
 
 BOOK II. 
 
 CHAP. 1. Fabricio introduces Gil Bias to the Licentiate SSdillo, and 
 procures him a reception. The domestic economy of that 
 clergyman. Picture of his hoiiHekeeper, .... 
 
 (ix)
 
 X CONTENTS. 
 
 PACK 
 
 CHAP. 2. The canon's illness ; his treatment ; the consequence ; the 
 
 legacy to Gil Bias, . . 81 
 
 CHAP. 3. Gil Bias enters into Doctor Sangrado's service, and becomes 
 
 a famous practitioner, 85 
 
 CHAP. 4. Gil Bias goes on practicing physic with equal success and 
 
 ability. Adventure of the recovered ring, .... 90 
 
 CHAP. 5. Sequel of the foregoing adventure. Gil Bias retires from 
 
 practice, and from the neighborhood of Valladolid, . . 97 
 
 CHAP. 6. His route from Valladolid, with a description of his fellow- 
 traveller, 102 
 
 CHAP. 7. The journeyman barber's story, 104 
 
 CHAP. 8. The meeting of Gil Bias and his companion with a man 
 soaking crusts of bread at a spring, and the particulars 
 of their conversation, 121 
 
 CHAP. 9. The meeting of Diego with his family ; their circumstances 
 in life; great rejoicings on the occasion; the parting 
 scene between him and Gil Bias, 124 
 
 BOOK III. 
 
 CHAP. 1. The arrival of Gil Bias at Madrid. His first place there, . 129 
 CHAP. 2. The astonishment of Gil Bias at meeting Captain Rolando 
 
 in Madrid, and that robber's curious narrative, . . . 134 
 CHAP. 3. Gil Bias is dismissed by Don Bernard de Castil Blazo, and 
 
 enters into the service of a beau, 138 
 
 CHAP. 4. Gil Bias gets into company with his fellows; they show 
 
 him a ready road to the reputation of wit, and impose 
 
 on him a singular oath, 145 
 
 CHAP. 5. Gil Bias becomes a darling of the fair sex, and makes an 
 
 interesting acquaintance, 150 
 
 CHAP. 6. The prince's company of comedians, 156 
 
 CHAP. 7. History of Don Pompeyo de Castro, 160 
 
 CHAP. 8. An accident, in consequence of which Gil Bias was obliged 
 
 to look out for another place, 165 
 
 CHAP. 9. A new service after the death of Don Matthias de Silva, . 169 
 
 CHAP. 10. Much such another as the foregoing, 172 
 
 CHAP. 11. A theatrical life and an author's life, 175 
 
 CHAP. 12. Gil Bias acquires a relish for the theatre, and takes a full 
 
 swing of its pleasures, but soon becomes disgusted, . .178 
 
 BOOK IV. 
 
 CHAP. 1. Gil Bias, not being able to reconcile himself to the morals 
 of the actresses, quits Arsenia, and gets into a more 
 reputable service, 182 
 
 CHAP. 2. Aurora's reception of Gil Bias. Their conversation, . 186
 
 CONTENTS. xi 
 
 PAGE 
 
 CHAP. 3. A great change at Don Vincent's. Aur6ra's strange reso- 
 lution, 189 
 
 CHAP. 4. The Fatal Marriage : a Novel, 194 
 
 CHAP. 5. The behavior of Aurora de Guzman on her arrival at Sala- 
 manca, 217 
 
 CHAP. 6. Aurora's devices to secure Don Lewis Pacheco's affections, 225 
 CHAP. 7. Gil Bias leaves his place and goes into the service of Don 
 
 Gonzales Pacheco, 232 
 
 CHAP. 8. The Marchioness of Chaves ; her character and that of her 
 
 company, 241 
 
 CHAP. 9. An incident that parted Gil Bias and the Marchioness of 
 
 Chaves. The subsequent destination of the former, . 246 
 CHAP. 10. The history of Don Alphonso and the fair Seraphina, . 249 
 CHAP. 11. The old hermit turns out an extraordinary genius, and Gil 
 
 Bias finds himself among his former acquaintance, . . 260 
 
 BOOK V. 
 
 CHAP. 1. History of Don Raphael, 266 
 
 CHAP. 2. Don Eaphael's consultation with his company; their adven- 
 tures as they were preparing to leave the wood, . . . 324 
 
 BOOK VI. 
 
 CHAP. 1. The fate of Gil Bias and his companions after they took 
 
 leave of the Count de Polan, 328 
 
 CHAP. 2. The determination of Don Alphonso and Gil Bias after this 
 
 adventure, 336 
 
 CHAP. 3. An unfortunate occurrence, which terminated to the high 
 
 delight of Don Alphonso, 339 
 
 BOOK VII. 
 
 CHAP. 1. The tender attachment between Gil Bias and Dame Lorenza 
 
 Sephora, 342 
 
 CHAP. 2. What happened to Gil Bias after his retreat from the Castle 
 
 of Leyva, 349 
 
 CHAP. 3. Gil Bias becomes the archbishop's favorite, and the chan- 
 nel of all his favors, 355 
 
 CHAP. 4. The archbishop is struck with apoplexy. How Gil Bias 
 
 gets into a dilemma, and how he gets out, .... 360 
 
 CHAP. 5. The course which Gil Bias took after leaving the arch- 
 bishop. His accidental meeting with the licentiate, . 363
 
 x 
 
 PAGE 
 
 CHAP. 6. Gil Bias goes to the play at Granada. His surprise at see- 
 ing one of the actresses, and what happened thereupon, . 366 
 
 CHAP. 7. Laura's story, 372 
 
 CHAP. 8. Reception of Gil Bias among the players at Granada ; an- 
 other old acquaintance, up in the green-room, . . . 383 
 
 CHAP. 9. An extraordinary companion at supper ; and an account of 
 
 their conversation, 386 
 
 CHAP. 10. The Marquis de Marialva gives a commission to Gil Bias. 
 
 How that faithful secretary acquits himself of it, . . 389 
 
 CHAP. 11. A thunderbolt to Gil Bias, 392 
 
 CHAP. 12. Gil Bias takes lodgings in a ready-furnished house. He 
 
 gets acquainted with Captain Chinchilla, .... 394 
 
 CHAP. 13. Gil Bias comes across his dear friend Fabricio at court. 
 
 Great ecstasy on both sides, 401 
 
 CHAP. 14. Fabricio finds a situation for Gil Bias in the establishment 
 
 of Count Galiano, a Sicilian nobleman, .... 409 
 
 CHAP. 15. The employment of Gil Bias in Don Galiano's household, . 412 
 
 CHAP. 16. Ac accident happens to the Count de Galiano's monkey. 
 
 The illness of Gil Bias, and its consequences, . . . 417 
 
 BOOK VIII. 
 
 CHAP. 1. Gil Bias scrapes an acquaintance of some value. Don Va- 
 
 lerio de Luna's story, 423 
 
 CHAP. 2. Gil Bias is introduced to the Duke of Lerma, who admits 
 
 him among the number of his secretaries, .... 427 
 CHAP. 3. All is not gold that glitters. Some uneasiness resulting 
 
 from the discovery of that principle in philosophy, . . 431 
 CHAP. 4. Gil Bias becomes a favorite with the Duke of Lerma, and 
 
 the confidant of an important secret, 434 
 
 CHAP. 5. The joys, the honors and the miseries of a court life, in 
 
 the person of Gil Bias, 436 
 
 CHAP. 6. Gil Bias gives the Duke of Lerma a hint of his condition. 
 
 That minister deals with him accordingly, . . . 439 
 CHAP. 7. A good use made of the fifteen hundred ducats. First intro- 
 duction to the trade of office, 443 
 
 CHAP. 8. History of Don Roger de Rada, 445 
 
 CHAP. 9. Gil Bias makes a large fortune in a short time, and behaves 
 
 like other wealthy upstarts, 452 
 
 CHAP. 10. The morals of Gil Bias become at court much as if they 
 
 had never been at all, 457 
 
 CHAP. 11. The Prince of Spain's secret visit, and present to Catalina, 463 
 CHAP. 12. Catalina's real condition a worry and alarm to Gil Bias. 
 
 His precautions for his own ease and quiet, . . . 466 
 CHAP. 13. Gil Bias goes on personating the great man. He hews 
 
 news of his family. A grand quarrel with Fabricio, . 469
 
 CONTENTS. xiii 
 
 BOOK IX. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 CHAP. 1. Scipio's scheme of marriage for Gil Bias. The match, a 
 
 rich goldsmith's daughter, . . . . . . 473 
 
 CHAP. 2. Gil Bias remembers Don Alphonso de Leyva, and renders 
 
 him a service from motives of vanity, . ; . . 476 
 CHAP. 3. Preparations for the marriage of Gil Bias. A spoke in the 
 
 wheel of Hymen, 478 
 
 CHAP. 4. The treatment of Gil Bias in the tower of Segovia. The 
 
 cause of his imprisonment, 480 
 
 CHAP. 5. His reflections before he wenl to sleep that night, and the 
 
 noise that waked him, . . . . . . . 483 
 
 CHAP. 6. History of Don Gaston de Cogollos and Donna Helena de 
 
 Galisteo, 485 
 
 CHAP. 7. Scipio finds Gil Bias out in the tower of Segovia, and brings 
 
 him a budget of news, 497 
 
 CHAP. 8. Scipio's first journey to Madrid; its object and success. 
 
 Gil Bias falls sick. The consequence of his illness, . 499 
 CHAP. 9. Scipio's second journey to Madrid. Gil Bias is set at 
 
 liberty on certain conditions, ... ... 502 
 
 CHAP. 10. Their doings at Madrid. The rencounter of Gil Bias in the 
 
 street, and its consequences, 505 
 
 BOOK X. 
 
 CHAP. 1. Gil Bias sets out for the Asturias, and passes through Valla- 
 
 dolid. He goes to see Doctor Sangrado, .... 508 
 
 CHAP. 2. Gil Bias continues his journey, and arrives at Oviedo. The 
 
 condition of his family. His father's death, . . . 515 
 
 CHAP. 3. Gil Bias sets out for Valencia, and arrives at Lirias; de- 
 scription of his seat; particulars of his reception, . . 522 
 
 CHAP. 4. Journey to Valencia, and a visit to the lords of Leyva. 
 
 Conversation of the gentlemen, . . . . . . 527 
 
 CHAP. 5. Gil Bias goes to the play, and sees a new tragedy. Success 
 
 of the piece. The public taste at Valencia, . . . 530 
 
 CHAP. 6. Gil Bias, walking about the streets of Valencia, meets with 
 
 a man of sanctity, whom he thinks he knows, . . . 534 
 
 CHAP. 7. Gil Bias returns to his seat at Lirias. Scipio's agreeable 
 
 intelligence. Reform in the domestic arrangements, . 539 
 
 CHAP. 8. The loves of Gil Bias and the fair Antonia, . . .542 
 
 CHAP. 9. Nuptials of Gil Bias with the fair Antonia; the style and 
 
 manner of the ceremony, 547 
 
 CHAP. 10. The honeymoon (a very dull time for the reader) enlivened 
 
 by the commencement of Scipio's story, .... 552 
 
 CHAP. 11. Continuation of Scipio's story, 570 
 
 CHAP. 12. Conclusion of Scipio's story, . 579
 
 fciv CONTENTS. 
 
 BOOK XL 
 
 FAQS 
 
 CHAP. 1. Containing the subject of the greatest joy that Gil Bias 
 ever felt, followed by the most melancholy event of his 
 life, 595 
 
 CHAP. 2. Gil Bias arrives in Madrid. He appears at court. The king 
 
 recommends him to the notice of his prime minister, . 599 
 
 CHAP. 3. The project of retirement is prevented. Joseph Navarro 
 
 brought upon the stage again, 603 
 
 CHAP. 4. Gil Bias ingratiates himself with the Count of Olivarez, . 605 
 
 CHAP. 5. The private conversation of Gil Bias with Navarro. His 
 
 first employment in the service of the Count d'Olivarez, . 608 
 
 CHAP. 6. The application of the three hundred pistoles, and Scipio's 
 
 commission connected with them, 613 
 
 CHAP. 7. Gil Bias meets with his friend Fabricio once more. The 
 
 circumstances described, 616 
 
 CHAP. 8. Gil Bias progresses in his master's affections. Scipio's re- 
 turn to Madrid ; an account of his journey, . . .619 
 
 CHAP. 9. How my lord duke married his only daughter, and to 
 
 whom. The bitter consequences of that marriage, . . 621 
 
 CHAP. 10. Gil Bias meets with the poet Nunez by accident, and learns 
 
 that he has written a tragedy, 623 
 
 CHAP. 11. Santillane gives Scipio a situation; the latter sets out for 
 
 New Spain, 627 
 
 CHAP. 12. Don Alphonso de Leyva comes to Madrid ; the motive of 
 
 his journey a severe affliction to Gil Bias, . . . 629 
 
 CHAP. 13. Gil Bias meets Don Gaston de Cogollos and Don Andrew de 
 
 Tordesillas at the drawing-room, 632 
 
 CHAP. 14. Santillane's visit to Poet Nunez ; the company and con- 
 versation, . 636 
 
 BOOK XII. 
 
 CHAP. 1. Gil Bias sent to Toledo by the minister. The purpose of his 
 
 journey and its success, 639 
 
 CHAP. 2. Santillane makes his report to the minister, who commis- 
 sions him to send for Lucretia, 644 
 
 CHAP. 3. Lucretia's popularity ; her appearance before the king ; his 
 
 passion, and its consequences, 64(3 
 
 CHAP. 4. Santillane in a new office, 649 
 
 CHAP. 5. The son of the Genoese is acknowledged by a legal instru- 
 ment, and named Don Henry Philip de Guzman, . . 651 
 
 CHAP. 6. Scipio's return from New Spain. Gil Bias places him about 
 
 Don Henry's person, 652 
 
 CHAP. 7. An accidental meeting between Gil Bias and Fabricio. Their 
 
 last conversation together, 655
 
 CONTENTS. XV 
 
 PAGE 
 
 CHAP. 8. Gil Bias finds that Fabricio's hint was not without founda- 
 tion. The king's journey to Saragossa, . . . . 657 
 
 CHAP. 9. The revolution of Portugal, and disgrace of the prime 
 
 minister, 658 
 
 CHAP. 10. A difficult but successful weaning from the world. The 
 
 minister's employments in his retreat, .... 660 
 
 CHAP. 11. A change in his lordship for the worse. The marvellous 
 
 cause and melancholy consequences of his dejection, . 002 
 
 CHAP. 12. Proceedings at the castle of Leeches after his lordship's 
 
 death. The course which Santillane adopted, . . 664 
 
 CHAP. 13. The return of Gil Bias to his seat. His joy at finding his 
 
 goddaughter Seraphina marriageable, .... 666 
 
 CHAP. 14. A double marriage. Conclusion of the history, . . . 668
 
 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 GIL BLAS OP SANTILLANE. 
 
 BOOK I. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 THE BIRTH AND EDUCATION OP GIL BLAS. 
 
 MY father, Bias of Santillane, after having borne arms for a 
 long time in the Spanish service, retired to his native place. 
 There he married a chambermaid who was not exactly in her 
 teens, and I made my dbut on this stage ten months after marriage. 
 They afterwards went to live at Oviedo, where my mother got 
 into service, and my father obtained a situation equally adapted 
 to his capacities as a squire. As their wages were their fortune, I 
 might have got my education as I could, had it not been for an 
 uncle of mine in the town, a canon, by name Gil Perez. He was 
 my mother's eldest brother, and my godfather. Figure to yourself 
 a little fellow, three feet and a half high, as fat as you can conceive, 
 with a head sunk deep between his shoulders, and you have my 
 uncle to the life. For the rest of his qualities, he was an ecclesi- 
 astic, and of course thought of nothing but good living, I mean in 
 the flesh as well as in the spirit, with the means of which good, 
 living his stall, no mean one, provided him. 
 
 He took me home to his own house from my infancy, and ran the 
 risk of my bringing up. I struck him as so brisk a lad, that he 
 resolved to cultivate my talents. He bought me a primer, and 
 undertook my tuition as far as reading went : which was not amiss 
 for himself as well as for me, since by teaching me my letters he 
 brushed up his own learning, which had not been pursued in a very 
 scholastic manner ; and, by dint of application, he got at last to read 
 his breviary out of hand, which he had never been able to do before. 
 He would have been very glad to have taught me Latin, to save 
 2 (17)
 
 18 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 expense ; but, alas ! poor Gil Perez ! he had never skimmed the 
 first principles of it in the whole course of his life. I should not 
 wonder if he was the most ignorant member of the chapter ; though 
 on a subject involving as many possibilities as there were canons, 
 I presume not to pledge myself for anything like certainty. To be 
 sure, I have heard it suggested that he did not gain his preferment 
 altogether by his learning, but that he owed it exclusively to the 
 gratitude of some good nuns whose discreet factor he had been, and 
 who had credit enough to procure him the order of priesthood with- 
 out the troublesome ceremony of an examination. 
 
 He was obliged, therefore, to place me under the correction of a 
 master, so that I was sent to Doctor Godinez, who had the reputa- 
 tion of being the most accomplished pedant of Oviedo. I profited 
 so well under his instructions, that by the end of five or six years 
 I could read a Greek author or two, and had no very inadequate 
 conception of the Latin poets. Besides my classical studies, I 
 applied to logic, which enabled me to become an expert arguer. I 
 now fell in love with discussions of all kinds to such an excess, that 
 I stopped his majesty's subjects on the high road, acquaintance or 
 strangers, no matter ! and proposed some knotty point of contro- 
 versy. Sometimes I fell in with a clan of Irish, and an altercation 
 never comes amiss to them. That was your time, if you were fond 
 of a battle. Such gestures ! such grimaces ! such contortions I our 
 eyes sparkling and our mouths foaming ! Those who did not take 
 us for what we affected to be, philosophers, must have set us down 
 for madmen. 
 
 But let that be as it will, I gained the reputation of no small 
 learning in the town. My uncle was delighted, because he prudently 
 considered that I should so much the sooner cease to be chargeable 
 to him. " Come here, Gil Bias," quoth he one day, "you are got to be 
 a fine fellow. You are past seventeen, and a clever lad ; you must 
 bestir yourself, and get forward in the world. I think of sending 
 you to the University of Salamanca ; with your wit, you will easily 
 get a good post. I will give you a few ducats for your journey, and 
 my mule, which will fetch ten or twelve pistoles at Salamanca, and 
 with such a sum at setting out, you will be enabled to hold up your 
 head till you get a situation." 
 
 He could not have proposed to me anything more agreeable, for 
 I was dying to see a little of life. At the same time, I was not such 
 a fool as to betray my satisfaction ; and when it came to the hour of 
 parting, by the sensibility I discovered at taking leave of my dear 
 uncle, to whom I was so much obliged, and by calling in the stage 
 effect of grief, I so softened the good soul, that he put his hand 
 deeper into his pocket than he would have done could he have
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 19 
 
 pried into all that was passing in the interior of my hypocritical 
 little heart. Before my departure, I took a last leave of my papa 
 and mamma, who loaded me with an ample inheritance of good 
 advice. They enjoined me to pray to God for my uncle, to go 
 honestly through the world, not to engage in any ill, and above all 
 not to lay my hands on other people's property. After they had 
 lectured me for a good while, they made me a present of their bless- 
 ing, which was all my patrimony and all my expectation. As soon 
 as I had received it, I mounted my mule, and saw the outside of the 
 town. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 OIL BLAS' ALARM ON HIS KOAD TO PEGNAFLOR; HIS ADVENTUKES ON 
 HIS ARRIVAL IN THAT TOWN, AND THE CHARACTER OF THE MEN 
 WITH WHOM HE SUPPED. 
 
 ~| FERE I am, then, on the other side of Oviedo, on the road to 
 
 J L Pegnaflor, with the world before me, as yet my own master, 
 
 as well as master of a bad mule and forty good ducats, without 
 reckoning on a little supplementary cash which I had purloined from 
 my much-honored uncle. The first thing I did was to let my mule 
 go as the beast liked, that is to say, very lazily. I dropped the 
 rein, and taking out my ducats, began to count them backward and 
 forward in my hat I was out of my wits for joy, never having 
 seen such a sum of money before, and could not help looking at it 
 and sifting it through my fingers. I had counted it over about the 
 twentieth time, when all at once my mule, with head raised and 
 ears pricked up, stood stock still in the middle of the high road. 
 I thought to be sure something was the matter ; looked about for a 
 cause, and perceived a hat upon the ground, with a rosary of large 
 beads, at the same time I heard a lugubrious voice pronounce these 
 words : " Pray, honored master, have pity on a poor maimed soldier ! 
 Please to throw a few small pieces into this hat ; you shall be re- 
 warded for it in the other world." I looked immediately on the side 
 whence the voice proceeded, and saw just by a thicket, twenty or 
 thirty paces from me, a sort of a soldier, who had mounted the 
 barrel of a confounded long carbine on two cross sticks, and seemed 
 to be taking aim at me. At a sight which made me tremble for the 
 patrimony of the church committed to my care, I stopped short, 
 made sure of my ducats, and taking out a little small change, as I
 
 20 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 rode by the hat, placed to receive the charity of those quiet subjects 
 who had not the courage to refuse it, dropped in my contribution in 
 detail, to convince the soldier how nobly I dealt by him. He was 
 satisfied with my liberality, and gave me a blessing for every kick 
 I gave my mule in my impatience to get out of his way ; but the 
 infernal beast, without partaking in the slightest degree of my im- 
 patience, went at the old steady pace. A long custom of jogging 
 on fair and softly under my uncle's weight had obliterated every 
 idea of that motion called a gallop. 
 
 The prospect of my journey was not much improved by this ad- 
 venture as a specimen. I considered within myself that I had yet 
 some distance to Salamanca, and might not improbably meet with 
 something worse. My uncle seemed to have been very imprudent 
 not to have consigned me to the care of a muleteer. That, to be 
 sure, was what he ought to have done ; but his notion was, that by 
 giving me his mule my journey would be cheaper ; and that entered 
 more into his calculation than the dangers in which I might be 
 involved on the road. To retrieve his error, therefore, I resolved, 
 if I had the good luck to arrive safe at Pegnaflor, to offer my mule 
 for sale, and take the opportunity of a muleteer going to Astorga, 
 whence I might get to Salamanca by a similar conveyance. Though 
 I had never been out of Oviedo, I was acquainted with the names 
 of the towns through which I was to pass a species of information 
 I took care to procure before my setting out. 
 
 I got safe and sound to Pegnaflor, and stopped at the door of a 
 very decent-looking inn. My foot was scarcely out of the stirrup 
 Before the landlord was at my side, overwhelming me with public- 
 house civility. He untied my cloak-bag with his own hands, swung 
 it across his shoulders, and ushered my honor into a room, while 
 one of his men led my mule to the stable. This landlord, the most 
 busy prattler of the Asturias, ready to bother you impertinently 
 about his own concerns, and at the same time with a sufficient por- 
 tion of curiosity to worm himself into the knowledge of yours, was 
 not long in telling me that his name was Andrew Corcuelo ; that he 
 had seen some service as a sergeant in the army, which he had 
 quitted fifteen months ago, and married a girl of Castropol, who, 
 though a little tawny or so, knew how to make both ends meet as 
 well as the best of them. He told me a thousand things besides 
 which he might just as well have kept private. Thinking himself 
 entitled after this voluntary confidence to an equal share of mine, 
 he asked me in a breath, and without further preface, whence I 
 came, whither I was going, and who I was. To all this I felt my- 
 self bound to answer, article by article, because, though rather 
 abrupt in asking them, he accompanied each question with so
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 21 
 
 apologetic a bow, beseeching me with so submissive a grimace not 
 to be offended at his curiosity, that I was drawn on to gratify it, 
 whether I would or no. Thus by degrees did we get into a long 
 conversation, in the course of which I took occasion to hint that I 
 had some reasons for wishing to get rid of my mule, and travel 
 under convoy of a muleteer. He seemed on the whole to approve 
 of my plan, though he could not prevail with himself to tell me so 
 briefly ; for he introduced his remarks by descanting on all the pos- 
 sible and probable mischances to which travellers are liable on the 
 road, not omitting an awkward story now and then. I thought the 
 fellow would never have done. But the conclusion of the argument 
 was, that if I wanted to sell my mule, he knew an honest jockey 
 who would take it off my hands. I begged he would do me the 
 favor and fetch him, which was no sooner said than done. 
 
 On his return he introduced the purchaser, with a high encomium 
 on his integrity. We all three went into the yard, and the mule 
 was brought out to show paces before the jockey, who set himself 
 to examine the beast from head to foot. His report was bad enough. 
 To be sure, it would not have been easy to make a good one ; but if 
 it had been the pope's mule, and this fellow was to cheapen the 
 bargain, it would have been just the same : nay, to speak with all 
 due reverence, if he had been asked to give an opinion of the pope's 
 great toe, from that disparaging habit of his, he would have pro- 
 nounced it no better than the toe of any ordinary man. He laid it 
 down, therefore, as a principle that the mule had all the defects a 
 mule could have, appealing to the landlord for a confirmation of 
 his judgment, who doubtless had reasons of his own for not contro- 
 verting his friend's assertion. " Well !" says the jockey, with an air 
 of indifference, "what price have you the conscience to ask for this 
 devil of an animal?" After such a panegyric, and master Corcuelo's 
 certificate, whom I was fool enough to take for a fair-dealing man 
 and a good judge of horseflesh, they might have had the mule for 
 nothing. I therefore told the dealer that I threw myself on his 
 mercy : he must fix his own sum, and I should expect no more. 
 On this he began to affect the gentleman, and answered that I had 
 found out his weak side when I had left it to his honor. He was 
 right enough in that ! His honor was his weak side ; for instead of 
 bidding up to my uncle's estimate of ten or twelve pistoles, the 
 rascal had the impudence to offer three ducats, which I accepted 
 with as light a heart as if I had got the best of the bargain. 
 
 Having disencumbered myself of my mule in so tradesmanlike a 
 manner, I went with my landlord to a carrier who was to set out 
 early the next morning for Astorga, and engaged to call me up in 
 time. When we had settled the hire of the mule, as well as the
 
 22 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 expenses on the road, I turned back towards the inn with Corcuelo, 
 who as we went along got into the private history of this muleteer. 
 When I had been pestered with all the tittle-tattle of the town about 
 this fellow, the changes were just beginning to ring on some new 
 subject ; but, by good luck, a pretty-looking sort of a man very 
 civilly interrupted my loquacious friend. I left them together, and 
 sauntered on, without the slightest suspicion of being at all con- 
 cerned in their discourse. 
 
 I ordered supper as soon as I got to the inn. It was a fish day : 
 but I thought eggs were better suited to my finances. While they 
 were getting ready, I joined in conversation with the landlady, 
 whom I had not seen before. She seemed a pretty enough piece of 
 goods, and such a stirring body, that I should have concluded, if 
 her husband had not told me so, her tavern must have plenty of 
 custom. The moment the omelet was served up, I sat down to the 
 table by myself, and had scarcely got the relish of it, when my land- 
 lord walked in, followed by the man who had stopped him in the 
 street. This pleasant gentleman wore a long rapier, and might, per- 
 haps, be about thirty years of age. He came up to me in the most 
 friendly manner possible. " Mr. Professor," says he, " I have just 
 now heard that you are the renowned Gil Bias of Santillane, that 
 ornament of Oviedo and luminary of philosophy. And do my eyes 
 behold that very greatest of all great scholars and wits, whose repu- 
 tation has run hither so fast before him ! Little do you think," con- 
 tinues he, directing his discourse to the landlord and landlady, "little 
 do you imagine, I say, what good luck has befallen you. Why, you 
 have got hold of a treasure. In this young gentleman you behold 
 the eighth wonder of the world." Then running up and throwing 
 his arms about my neck, " Excuse me," added he ; " but worlds 
 would not bribe me to suppress the rapturous emotions your honored 
 presence has excited." 
 
 I could not answer him so glibly as I wished, not so much for 
 want of words as of breath ; for he hugged me so tight that I began 
 to be alarmed for my windpipe. As soon, however, as I had got my 
 head out of durance, I replied, " Signor cavalier, I had not the least 
 conception that my name was known at Pegnaflor." " Known ?" re- 
 sumed he in the same pompous style ; " we keep a register of all great 
 persons within a circuit of twenty leagues round us. You have the 
 character of a prodigy here ; and I have not a shadow of doubt but 
 one day or other Spain will be as proud of numbering you among 
 her rare productions as Greece of having given birth to her seven 
 wise men." This fine speech was followed as before ; and I really 
 began to think that, with all my classical honors, I should at last 
 be doomed to share the fate of Antaeus. If I had been master of
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 23 
 
 ever so little experience, I should not have been the dupe of his 
 rhodomontade. I must have discovered him, by his outrageous 
 compliments, to be one of those parasites who swarm in every town, 
 and get into a stranger's company on his arrival, to appease the 
 wolf in their stomachs at his expense ; but my youth and vanity 
 tempted me to draw a quite opposite conclusion. My admirer was 
 very clever in my eyes, and I asked him to supper on the strength 
 of it. " Oh ! most willingly," cried he : " with all my heart and 
 soul. My fortunate star predominates, now that I have the honor 
 of being in company with the illustrious Gil Bias of Santillane, 
 and I shall certainly make the most of my good fortune as long as 
 it lasts. My appetite is rather delicate, but I will just sit down 
 with you by way of being sociable, and if I can swallow a bit! 
 only just not to look sulky ; for we philosophers are careless of the 
 body." 
 
 These words were no sooner out of his mouth than my panegyrist 
 took his seat opposite to me. A cover was laid for him in due form 
 and order. First he fell on the omelet with as much perseverance 
 as if he had not tasted food for three whole days. By the compla- 
 cency with which he eyed it, I was morally certain the poor pancake 
 was at death's door. I therefore ordered its heir apparent to suc- 
 ceed ; and the business was despatched with such speed, that the 
 second made its appearance on the table just as we no I beg 
 pardon just as he had taken the last lick of its predecessor. He 
 pressed forward the main business, however, with a diligence and 
 activity proportioned to the importance of the object he had in 
 view : so that he contrived to load me with panegyric on pane- 
 gyric, without losing a single stroke in the progress of mastication. 
 Now, all this gave me no slender conceit of my pretty little self. 
 When a man eats, he must drink. The first toast of course was my 
 health. The second, in common civility, was my father and mother, 
 whose happiness in having such an angel of a son he could not suffi- 
 ciently envy or admire. All this while he kept filling my glass, and 
 challenging me to keep pace with him. It was impossible to be 
 backward in doing justice to such excellent toasts and sentiments : 
 the compliments with which they were seasoned did not come 
 amiss ; so that I got into such a convivial mood, at observing our 
 second omelet disappear not insensibly, as just to ask the landlord 
 if he could not find us a little bit of fish. Master Corcuelo, who to 
 all appearances played booty with the parasite, told me he had an ex- 
 cellent trout ; " but those who eat him must pay for him. I am afraid 
 he is meat for your masters." " Meat for our masters !" exclaims my 
 very humble servant, in an angry tone of voice ; "that is more than 
 you know, my friend. Are you yet to learn that the best of your
 
 24 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 larder is not too good for the renowned Gil Bias of Santillane? Go 
 where he will, he is fit to table with princes." 
 
 I was very glad he took up the landlord's last expression, because 
 if he had not, I should. I felt myself a little hurt at it, and said to 
 Corcuelo, with some degree of hauteur: " Produce this trout of yours, 
 and I will take the consequences." The landlord, who had got just 
 what he wanted, set himself to work, and served it up in high order. 
 At the first glance of this third course, I saw such pleasure spark- 
 ling in the parasite's eyes, as to prove him to be of a very comply- 
 ing temper just as ready to do a kindness by the fish as by those 
 said eggs of which he had given so good an account. But at last he 
 was obliged to lay down his arms, for fear of accidents, as his 
 magazine was crammed to the very throat. Having eaten and 
 drunk his fill, he bethought him of putting a finishing hand to the 
 farce. " Master Gil Bias," said he, as he rose from the table, " I am too 
 well pleased with my princely entertainment to leave you without 
 a word of advice, of which you seem to stand in much need. From 
 this time forward be on your guard against extravagant praise. Do 
 not trust men till you know them. You may meet with many 
 another man who, like me, may amuse himself at your expense, 
 and perhaps carry the joke a little further. But do not you be 
 taken in a second time, to believe yourself, on the word of such 
 fellows, the eighth wonder of the world." With this sting in the 
 tail of his farewell speech, he very coolly took his leave. 
 
 I was as much alive to so ridiculous a circumstance as I have 
 ever been in after-life to the most severe mortifications. I did not 
 know how to reconcile myself to the idea of having been so egregi- 
 ously taken in, or, in fact, to- lowering of my pride. " So, so !" quoth 
 I, "this rascal has been putting his tricks upon travellers, has he? 
 Then he only wanted to pump my landlord ! or more likely they 
 were both in the story. Ah ! my poor Gil Bias, thou hadst better 
 hide thy silly head ! To have suffered such knaves as these to turn 
 thee into ridicule ! A pretty story they will make of this ! It is 
 sure to travel back to Oviedo, and will give our friends a hopeful 
 prospect of thy success in life. The family will be quite delighted 
 to think what a blessed harvest all their pious advice has produced. 
 There was no occasion to preach up morals to thee ; for verily thou 
 hast more of the dupe than the sharper in thy composition." Keady 
 to tear my eyes out or bite my fingers off from spite and vexation, I 
 locked myself up in my chamber and went to bed, but not to sleep, 
 of which I had not got a wink when the muleteer came to tell me 
 that he only waited for me to set out on his journey. I got up as 
 expeditiously as I could ; and while I was dressing, Corcuelo put in 
 his appearance, with a little bill in his hand a slight memorandum
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 25 
 
 of the trout ! But paying through the nose was not the worst of 
 it ; for I had the vexation to perceive that while I was counting 
 over the cost, this hang-dog was chuckling at the recollection of the 
 night before. Having been fleeced most shamefully for a supper, 
 which stuck in my stomach though I had scarcely come in for a 
 morsel of it, I joined the muleteer with my baggage, giving to as 
 many devils as there are saints in the calendar the parasite, the 
 landlord, and the inn. 
 
 CHAPTEE III. 
 
 THE MULETEER'S TEMPTATION ON THE KOAD ; ITS CONSEQUENCES, AND 
 THE SITUATION OF GIL BLAS BETWEEN SCYLLA AND CHAEYBDIS. 
 
 I WAS not the only passenger. There were two young gentle- 
 men of Pegnaflor a little chorister of Mondognedo, who was 
 travelling about the country, and a young tradesman of Astorga, 
 returning home from Verco with his new-married wife. We soon 
 got acquainted, and exchanged the usual confidence of travellers, 
 telling one another whence we came and whither we were going. 
 The bride was young enough, but so dark-complexioned, with so 
 little of what a man likes to look at in a woman, that I did not 
 think her worth the trouble. But she had youth and a good plump 
 person on her side, and the muleteer, being rather less nice in his 
 taste, was resolved to try if he could not get into her good graces. 
 This pretty project occupied his ingenuity during the whole day'; 
 but he deferred the execution till we should get to Cacabelos, the 
 last place we were to stop at on the road. We alighted at an inn in 
 the outskirts of the town, a quiet, convenient place, with a landlord 
 who never troubled himself about other people's concerns. We 
 were ushered into a private room, and got our supper snugly ; but 
 just as the cloth was taken away, in comes our carrier in a furious 
 passion : " Death and the devil ! I have been robbed. Here had I 
 a hundred pistoles in my purse ! But I will have them back again. 
 I am going for a magistrate ; and those gentry will not take a joke 
 upon such serious subjects. You will all be put to the rack unless 
 you confess, and give back the money." The fellow played his part 
 very naturally, and burst out of the room, leaving us in a terrible 
 fright. 
 
 We had none of us the least suspicion of the trick, and, being all 
 strangers, were afraid of one another. I looked askance at the little
 
 26 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 chorister, and he perhaps had no better opinion of me. Besides, 
 we were all a pack of greenhorns, and were quite unacquainted with 
 the routine of business on these occasions. We were fools enough 
 to believe that the torture would be the very first stage of our 
 examination. With this dread upon our spirits, we all made for 
 the door. Some effected their escape into the street, others into 
 the garden ; but the whole party preferred the discretion of run- 
 ning away to the valor of standing their ground. The young trades- 
 man of Astorga had as great an objection to bone-twisting as the 
 rest of us, so he did as ^Eneas and many another good husband has 
 done before him ran away and left his wife behind. At that 
 critical moment the muleteer, as I was told afterwards, who had not 
 half so much sense of decency as his own mules, delighted at the 
 success of his stratagem, began making advances to the citizen's 
 wife ; but this Lucrece of the Asturias, borrowing the chastity of a 
 saint from the ugliness of the devil who tempted her, defended her 
 sweet person tooth and nail, and showed she was in earnest about 
 it by the noise she made. The patrol, who happened to be passing 
 by the inn at the time, and knew that the neighborhood required a 
 little looking after, took the liberty of just asking the cause of the 
 disturbance. The landlord, who was trying if he could not sing 
 in the kitchen louder than she could scream in the parlor, and 
 swore he heard no music but his own, was at 'last obliged to intro- 
 duce the myrmidons of the police to the distressed lady, just in time 
 to rescue her from the necessity of a surrender at discretion. The 
 head officer a coarse fellow, without an atom of feeling for the 
 tender passion no sooner saw the game that was playing, than he 
 gave the amorous muleteer five or six blows with the butt end of 
 his halberd, representing to him the indecency of his conduct in 
 terms quite as offensive to modesty as the naughty propensity which 
 had called forth his virtuous indignation. Neither did he stop here, 
 but laid hold of the culprit, and carried plaintiff and defendant be- 
 fore the magistrate. The former, with her charms all heightened 
 by the discomposure of her dress, went eagerly to try their effect in 
 obtaining justice for the outrage they had sustained. His worship 
 heard at least one party ; and after solemn deliberation, pronounced 
 the offence to be of the most heinous nature. He ordered him to be 
 stripped, and to receive a competent number of lashes in his pres- 
 ence. The conclusion of the sentence was, that if the Endymion of 
 Asturian Diana was not forthcoming the next day, a couple of 
 guards should escort the disconsolate goddess to the town of Astorga, 
 at the expense of this mule-driving Acteon. 
 
 For my part, being probably more terrified than the rest of the 
 party, I got into the fields, scampering over hedge and ditch,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL It LAS. 27 
 
 through enclosures and across commons, till I found myself hard 
 by a forest. I was just going for concealment to ensconce myself in 
 the very heart of the thicket, when two men on horseback rode 
 across me, crying, " Who goes there ?" As my alarm prevented me 
 from giving them an immediate answer, they came to close quarters, 
 and holding each of them a pistol to my throat, required me to give 
 an account of myself; who I was, whence I came, what business I 
 had in that forest, and above all, not to tell a lie about it. Their 
 rough interrogatives were, according to my notion, little better than 
 the rack with which our friend the muleteer had offered to treat us. 
 I represented myself, however, as a young man on my way from 
 Oviedo to Salamanca ; told the story of our late fright, and faith- 
 fully attributed my running away in such a hurry to the dread of 
 a worse exercise under the torture. They burst into an immoderate 
 fit of laughter at my simplicity, and one of them said : " Take heart, 
 my little friend ; come along with us, and do not be afraid ; we will 
 put you in a place where the devil shall not find you." At these 
 words he took me up behind him, and we darted into the forest. 
 
 I did not know what to think of this odd meeting ; yet, on the 
 whole, I could not well be worse off than before. " If these gentry," 
 thought I to myself, " had been thieves, they would have robbed and 
 perhaps murdered me. Depend on it, they are a couple of good 
 honest country gentlemen in this neighborhood, who seeing me 
 frightened, have taken compassion on me, and mean to carry me 
 home with them and make me comfortable." But these visions did 
 not last long. After turning and winding backward and forward in 
 deep silence, we found ourselves at the foot of a hill, where we dis- 
 mounted. " This is our abode," said one of these sequestered gentle- 
 men. I looked about in all directions, but the deuce a bit of either 
 house or cottage, nor a vestige of human habitation I The two men 
 in the meantime raised a great wooden trap, covered with earth and 
 briers, to conceal the entrance of a long shelving passage under 
 ground, to which from habit the poor beasts took very kindly of 
 their own accord. Their masters kept tight hold of me, and let the 
 trap down after them. Thus was the worthy nephew of my uncle 
 Perez caught, just for all the world as you would catch a rat.
 
 28 ADVENTURES OF GIL HLAS. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 DESCRIPTION OF THE SUBTERRANEOUS DWELLING AND ITS CONTENTS. 
 
 I NOW knew into what company I had fallen ; and I leave it to 
 any one to judge whether the discovery must not have rid me 
 'of my former fear. A dread more mighty and more just now 
 /seized my faculties. Money and life, all given up for lost! With 
 the air of a victim on his passage to the altar, did I walk, more 
 dead than alive, between my two conductors, who finding that I 
 trembled, frightened me so much the more by telling me not to be 
 afraid. When we had gone two hundred paces, winding down a 
 declivity all the way, we got into a stable lighted by two large iron 
 lamps suspended from the vault above. There was a good store of 
 straw, and several casks of hay and corn, with room enough for 
 twenty horses ; but at that time there were only the two which came 
 with us. An old negro, who seemed for his years in pretty good 
 case, was tying them to the rack where they were to feed. 
 
 We went out of the stable. By the melancholy light of some 
 other lamps, which only served to dress up horror in its native 
 colors, we arrived at a kitchen where an old harridan was broiling 
 some steaks on the coals, and getting supper ready. The kitchen 
 furniture was better than might be expected, and the pantry pro- 
 vided in a very plentiful manner. The lady of the larder's picture 
 ia worth drawing. Considerably on the wrong side of sixty ! In 
 her youth her hair had been of a fiery red, though she would have 
 called it auburn. Time had indeed given it the fairer tint of gray ; 
 but a lock of more youthful hue, interspersed at intervals, produced 
 all the variegated effect of the admired autumnal shades. To say 
 nothing of an olive complexion, she had an enormous chin turning 
 up, an immense nose turning down, with a mouth in the middle, 
 modestly retiring inwards, to make room for its encroaching neigh- 
 bors. Red eyes are no beauty in any animal but a ferret hers were 
 purple. 
 
 " Here, Dame Leonarda," said one of the horsemen, as he presented 
 me to this angelic imp of darkness, " we have brought you a young 
 lad." Then looking round, and observing me to be miserably pale, 
 " Pluck up your spirits, my friend ; you shall come vo no harm. We 
 want a scullion, and have met with you. You are a lucky dog ! 
 We had a boy who died about a fortnight ago ; you shall succeed to 
 the preferment. He was rather too delicate for his place. You 
 seem a good stout fellow, and may live a week or two longer. We 
 find you in bed and board, coal and candle ; but as for daylight, you
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 29 
 
 shall never see that again. Your leisure hours will pass off very 
 agreeably with Leonarda, who is really a very good creature, and 
 tolerably tender-hearted; you will have all your little comforts 
 about you. I flatter myself you have not got among beggars." At 
 this moment the thief seized a flambeau ; and as I feared, " with 
 zeal to destroy ;" for he ordered me to follow him. 
 
 He took me into a cellar, where I saw a great number of bottles 
 and earthen pots full of excellent wine. He then made me cross 
 several rooms. In some were pieces of cloth piled up ; in others, 
 stuffs and silks. As we passed through, I could not help casting a 
 sheep's eye at the gold and silver plate peeping out of the different 
 cupboards. After that, I followed him into a great hall illuminated 
 by three copper lustres, and serving as a gallery between the other 
 rooms. Here he put fresh questions to me, asking my name, why 
 I left Oviedo. When I had satisfied his curiosity : " Well, Gil Bias," 
 said he, " since your only motive for quitting your native place was 
 to get into something snug and eligible, to be sure you must have 
 been born to good luck, or you would not have fallen into our 
 hands. I tell you once for all, you will live here on the fat of the 
 land, and may souse over head and ears in ready money. Besides, 
 you are in a place of perfect safety. The officers of the holy 
 brotherhood might pass through the forest a hundred times without 
 discovering our subterraneous abode. The entrance is only known 
 to myself and my comrades. You may perhaps ask how it came to 
 be contrived, without being perceived by the inhabitants in the 
 neighborhood. But you are to understand, my friend, that it was 
 made long ago, and is no work of ours. After the Moors had made 
 themselves masters of Granada, of Arragon, and nearly the whole of 
 Spain, the Christians, rather than submit to the tyranny of infidels, 
 betook themselves to flight, and lay concealed in this country, in 
 Biscay, and in the Asturias, whither the brave Don Pelagio had 
 withdrawn himself. They lived in a state of exile, on the moun- 
 tains, or in the woods dispersed in little knots. Some took up their 
 residences in natural caves, others in artificial dwellings under 
 ground, like this we are in. In process of time, when by the bless- 
 ing of Providence they had driven their enemies out of Spain, they 
 returned to the towns. From that time forth their retreats have 
 served as a rendezvous for the gentlemen of our profession. It is 
 true that several of them have been discovered and destroyed by 
 the holy brotherhood, but there are some yet remaining: and, by 
 great good luck, I have tenanted this without paying any rent for it 
 almost these fifteen years. Captain Rolando, at your service! I 
 am the leader of the band, and the man you saw with me was ono 
 of my troopers."
 
 30 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 ARRIVAL OF THE BANDITTI IN THE SUBTERRANEOUS RETREAT, WITH 
 AN ACCOUNT OF THEIR PLEASANT CONVERSATION. 
 
 "TUST as Captain Rolando had finished his speech, six new faces 
 fj made their appearance in the hall the lieutenant and five 
 privates, returning home with their booty. They were hauling in 
 two great baskets full of sugar, cinnamon, pepper, figs, almonds, 
 and raisins. The lieutenant gave an account of their proceedings 
 to the captain, and told him they had taken these articles, as well 
 as the sumpter-mule, from a grocer of Benavento. An official report 
 having thus been made to the prime-minister, the grocer's contribu- 
 tion was carried to account ; and the next step was to regale after 
 their labors. A large table was set out in the hall. They sent me 
 back to the kitchen, where Dame Leonarda told me what I had to 
 do. I made the best of a bad bargain, finding the luck ran against 
 me; and, swallowing my grievances, set myself to wait on my noble 
 masters. 
 
 I cleaned my plate, set out my sideboard, and brought up my 
 wine. As soon as I announced dinner to be on table, consisting of 
 two good 'black-peppery ragouts for the first course, this high and 
 mighty company took their seats. They fell to most voraciously. 
 My place was to wait ; and I handed about the glasses with so butler- 
 like an air, as to be not a little complimented on my dexterity. The 
 chief entertained them with a short sketch of my story, and praised 
 my parts. But I had recovered from my mania by this time, and 
 could listen to my own panegyric with the humility of an anchorite 
 or the contempt of a philosopher. They all seemed to take a liking 
 to me, and to think I had dropped from the clouds on purpose to be 
 their cup-bearer. My predecessor was a fool to me. Since his 
 death, the illustrious Leonarda had the honor of presenting nectar 
 to these gods of the lower regions. But she was now degraded, and 
 I had the felicity of being installed in her office. Thus, old Hebe 
 being a little worse for wear, young Ganymede tripped up her 
 heels. 
 
 A substantial joint of meat after the ragouts at length blunted the 
 edge of their appetites. Eating and drinking went together ; so 
 that they soon got into a merry pin, and made a roaring noise. 
 Well done, my lads I All talkers and no listeners. One begins a 
 long story, another cuts a joke ; here a fellow bawls, there a fellow 
 sings ; and they all seem to be at cross-purposes. At last Rolando, 
 tired of a concert in which he could hardly hear the sound of his
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 31 
 
 own voice, let. them know that he was the maestro di capella, and 
 brought them into better tune. " Gentlemen," said he, " I have a ques- 
 tion to put. Instead of stunning one another with this infernal din, 
 had we not better enjoy a little rational conversation ? A thought 
 is just come into my head. Since the happy day that united us, we 
 have never had the curiosity to inquire into each other's pedigrees, 
 or by what chain of circumstances \ve were each of us led to embrace 
 our present way of life. There would be no harm in knowing who 
 and who are together. Let us exchange confidence ; we may find 
 some amusement in it." The lieutenant and the rest, like true heroes 
 of romance, accepted the challenge with the utmost courtesy, and 
 the captain told the first story to the following effect : 
 
 " Gentlemen, you are to know that I am the only son of a rich 
 citizen of Madrid. The day of my birth was celebrated in the 
 family by rejoicings without end. My father no chicken thought 
 it a considerable feat to have got an heir, and my mother was kind 
 enough to suckle me herself. My maternal grandfather was still 
 living a good old man, who did not trouble himself about other 
 people's concerns, but said his prayers, and fought his campaigns 
 over and over again ; for he had been in the army. Of course I was 
 idolized by these three persons : never out of their arms. My early 
 years were passed in the most childish amusements, for fear of hurt- 
 ing my health by application. ' It will not do,' said my father, ' to 
 hammer too much learning into children till time has ripened their 
 understanding.' While he waited for this ripening, the season went 
 by. I could neither read nor write, but I made up for that in other 
 ways. My father taught me a thousand different games. I became 
 perfectly acquainted with cards, was no stranger to dice, and my 
 grandfather set me the example of drawing the long bow, while he 
 entertained me with his military exploits. He sung the same songs 
 repeatedly, one after another every day, so that when, after saying 
 ten or twelve lines after him for three months together, I got to 
 boggle through them without missing, the whole family were in 
 raptures at my memory. Neither was my wit thought to be at all 
 less extraordinary ; for I was suffered to talk at random, and took 
 care to put in my oar in the most impertinent manner possible. 
 ' O, the pretty little dear !' exclaimed my father, as if he had been 
 fascinated. My mother made it up with kisses, and my grandfather's 
 old eyes overflowed. I played all sorts of dirty and indecent tricks 
 before them with impunity ; everything was excusable in so fine a 
 boy ; an angel could not do wrong. Going on in this manner, I was 
 already in my twelfth year without ever having a master. It was 
 high time ; but then he was to teach me by fair means ; he might 
 threaten, but must not flog me. This arrangement did me little
 
 32 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 good, for sometimes I laughed when my tutor scolded ; at others, I 
 ran with tears in my eyes to my mother or my grandfather, and com- 
 plained that he used me ill. The poor devil got nothing by denying 
 it. My word was always taken before his, and he came off with the 
 character of a cruel rascal. One day I scratched myself with my 
 own nails, and set up a howl as if I had been flogged. My mother 
 ran and turned the master out of doors, though he vowed and pro- 
 tested he had never lifted a finger against me. 
 
 " Thus did I get rid of all my tutors, till at last I met with one to 
 my mind. He was a bachelor of Alcala. This was the master for a 
 young man of fashion. Women, wine, and gaming were his prin- 
 cipal amusements. It was impossible to be in better hands. He 
 hit the right nail on the head, for he let me do what I pleased, and 
 thus got into the good graces of the family, who abandoned me to 
 his conduct. They had no reason to repent. He perfected me 
 betimes in the knowledge of the world. By dint of taking me about 
 to all his haunts, he gave such a finish to my education, that, barring 
 literature and science, I became a universal scholar. As soon as he 
 saw that I could go alone in the high road to ruin, he went to 
 qualify others for the same journey. 
 
 " During my childhood I had lived at home just as I liked, and did 
 not sufficiently consider that now I was beginning to be responsible 
 for my own actions. My father and mother were a standing jest. 
 Yet they were themselves thrown into convulsions at my sallies ; 
 and the more ridiculous they were made by them, the more waggish 
 they thought me. In the meantime I got into all manner of scrapes 
 with some young fellows of my own kidney ; and, as our relations 
 kept us rather too short of cash for the exigencies of so loose a life, 
 we each of us made free with whatever we could lay our hands on 
 in our own families. Finding this would not raise the supplies, we 
 began to pick pockets in the streets at night. As ill luck would 
 have it, our exploits came to the knowledge of the police. A war- 
 rant was out against us ; but some good-natured friend, thinking it 
 a pity we should be nipped in the bud, gave us a caution. We took 
 to our heels, and rose in our vocation to the rank of highwaymen. 
 From that time forth, gentlemen, with a blessing on my endeavors, 
 I have gone on till I am almost the father of the profession, in spite 
 of the dangers to which it is exposed." 
 
 Here the captain ended, and it came to the turn of the lieutenant. 
 "Gentlemen, extremes are said to meet; and so it will appear from 
 a comparison of our commander's education and mine. My father 
 was a butcher at Toledo. He passed, with reason, for the greatest 
 brute in the town, and my mother's sweet disposition was not mended 
 by the example. In my childhood they whipped me in emulation of
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS. 33 
 
 one another; I came in for a thousand lashes of a day! The 
 slightest fault was followed up by the severest punishment. In vain 
 did I beg for mercy, with tears in my eyes, and protest that I was 
 sorry for what I had done. They never excused me, and nine times 
 out of ten flogged me for nothing. When I was under my father's 
 lash, my mother, not thinking his arm stout enough, lent her assist- 
 ance, instead of begging me off. The favors I received at their 
 hands gave me such a disgust, that I quitted their house before I 
 had completed my fourteenth year, took the Arragon road, and 
 begged my way to Saragossa. There I associated with vagrants, 
 who led a merry enough life. They taught me to counterfeit blind- 
 ness and lameness, to dress up an artificial wound in each of my 
 legs, and to adopt many other methods of imposing on the credulity 
 of the charitable and humane. In the morning, like actors at 
 rehearsal, we cast our characters, and settled the business of the 
 comedy. We had each our exits and our entrances, till in the even- 
 ing the curtain dropped, and we regaled at the expense of the dupes 
 we had deluded in the day. Wearied, however, with the company 
 of these wretches, and wishing to live in more worshipful society, I 
 entered into partnership with a gang of sharpers. These fellows 
 taught me some good tricks ; but Saragossa soon became too hot to 
 hold us, after we had fallen out with a limb of the law, who had 
 hitherto taken us under his protection. We each of us provided for 
 ourselves, and left the devil to take the hindmost. For my part, I 
 enlisted in a brave and veteran regiment, which had seen abundance 
 of service on the king's highway ; and I found myself so comfortable 
 in their quarters, that I had no desire to change my berth. So 
 that you see, gentlemen, I was very much obliged to my relations 
 for their bad behavior; for if they had treated me a little more 
 kindly, I might have been a blackguard butcher at this moment, 
 instead of having the honor to be your lieutenant." 
 
 "Gentlemen," interrupted a hopeful young freebooter, who sat 
 between the captain and the lieutenant, " the stories we have just 
 heard are neither so complicated nor so curious as mine. I peeped 
 into existence by means of a country-woman in the neighborhood 
 of Seville.' Three weeks after she had set me down in this system, 
 a nurse-child was offered her. You are to understand she was yet 
 in her prime, comely in her person, and,had a good breast of milk. 
 The young suckling had noble blood in him, and was an only son. 
 My mother accepted the proposal with all her heart, and went to 
 fetch the child. It was entrusted to her care. She had no sooner 
 brought it home, than, fancying a resemblance, she conceived the 
 idea of substituting me for the brat of high birth, in the hope of 
 drawing a handsome commission at some future time for this
 
 34 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 motherly office in behalf of her infant. My father, whose morals 
 were on a level with those of clodhoppers in general, lent himself 
 very willingly to the cheat, so that, with only a change of clouts, 
 the son of Don Rodrigo de Herrera was packed off in my name to 
 another nurse, and my mother suckled her own and her master's 
 child at once in my little person. 
 
 " They may say what they will of instinct and force of blood ! The 
 little gentleman's parents were very easily taken in. They had not 
 the slightest suspicion of the trick, and were eternally dandling me 
 till I was seven years old. As it was their intention to make me a 
 finished gentleman, they gave me masters of all kinds ; but I had 
 very little taste for their lessons, and above all, I detested the 
 sciences. I would at any time rather play with the servants or the 
 stable boys, and was a complete kitchen genius. But tossing up for 
 heads or tails was not my ruling passion. Before seventeen I had 
 an itch for getting drunk. I played the devil among the chamber^ 
 maids; but my prime favorite was a kitchen-girl, who had infinity 
 merit in my eyes. She was a great, bloated horse-godmother, whos< 
 good case and easy morals suited me exactly. I made love to hei 
 with so little circumspection that Don Rodrigo took notice of it. 
 He took me to task pretty sharply, twitted me with my low taste, 
 and, for fear the presence of my charmer should counteract his sage 
 counsels, showed the goddess of my devotions the outside of the 
 door. 
 
 " This proceeding was rather offensive, and I determined to be even 
 with him. I stole his wife's jewels ; and ravishing my Helen from 
 a laundress of her acquaintance, went off with her in open day, that 
 the transaction might lose nothing in point of notoriety. But this 
 was not all. I carried her among her relations, where I married 
 her according to the rites of the church, as much from the personal 
 motive 'of mortifying Herrera, as from the patriotic enthusiasm of 
 encouraging our young nobility to mend the breed. Three months 
 after marriage, I heard that Don Rodrigo had gone the way of all 
 flesh. The intelligence was not lost upon me. I was at Seville in 
 a twinkling, to administer in due form and order to his effects ; but 
 the tables were turned. My mother had paid the debt of nature, 
 and in her last agonies had been so much off her guard as to confess 
 the whole affair to the curate of the village and other competent 
 witnesses. Don Rodrigo's son had already taken my place, or 
 rather his own, and his popularity was increased by the deficiency 
 of mine ; so that as the trumps were all out in that hand, and I had 
 no particular wish for the present my wife was likely to make me, 
 I joined issue with some desperate blades, with whom I began my 
 trading ventures."
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 35 
 
 The young cut-purse having finished his story, another told us 
 that he was the son of a merchant at Burgos ; that, in his youth, 
 prompted more by piety than wit, he had taken the religious habit, 
 and professed in a very strict order, and that a few years afterwards 
 he had apostatized. In short, the eight robbers told their tale one 
 after another, and when I had heard them all, I did not wonder 
 that the destinies had brought them together. The conversation 
 now took -a different turn. They brought several schemes upon the 
 carpet for the next campaign ; and after having laid down their 
 plan of operations, rose from table and went to bed. They lighted 
 their night candles, and withdrew to their apartments. I attended 
 Captain Eolando to his. While 1 was fiddling about him as he un- 
 dressed : " Well, Gil Bias," said he, " you see how we live ! We are 
 always merry ; hatred and envy have no footing here ; we have not 
 the least difference, but hang together just like monks. You are 
 sure, my good lad, to lead a pleasant life here ; for I do not think 
 you are fool enough to make any bones about consorting with gen- 
 tlemen of the road. In what does ours differ from many a more 
 reputable trade? Depend on it, my friend, all men love two hands 
 in their neighbor's purse, though only one in their own. Men's 
 principles are all alike; the only difference lies in the mode of 
 carrying them into effect. Conquerors, for instance, make free with 
 the territories of their neighbors. People of fashion borrow, and 
 do not pay. Bankers, treasurers, brokers, clerks, and traders of all 
 kinds, wholesale and retail, give ample liberty to their wants to 
 overdraw on their conscience. J shall not mention the hangers-on 
 of the law ; we all know how it goes with them. At the same time 
 it must be allowed that they have more humanity than we have ; 
 for as it is often our vocation to take away the life of the innocent 
 for plunder, it is sometimes theirs for fee and reward to save the 
 guilty." 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 THE ATTEMPT OF GIL BLAS TO ESCAPE, AND ITS STTCCESS. 
 
 A FTER the captain of the banditti had thus apologized for 
 JL\. adopting such a line of life, he went to bed. For my part, I 
 returned to the hall, where I cleared the table, and set every- 
 thing to rights. Then I went to the kitchen, where Domingo, the 
 old negro, and Dame Leonarda had been expecting me at supper.
 
 36 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 Though entirely without appetite, I had the good manners to sit 
 down with them. Not a morsel could I eat ; and as I scarcely felt 
 more miserable than I looked, this pair, so justly formed to meet by 
 nature, undertook to give me a little comfort. "Why do you take 
 on so, my good lad?" said the old dowager: "'you ought rather 
 to bless your stars for your good luck. You are youn#, and 
 seem a little soft; you would have made a fine kettle of fish of it 
 in the busy world. You might have fallen into bad h-ands, and 
 then your morals would have been corrupted ; whereas here your 
 innocence is insured to its full value." " Dame Leonarda is in the 
 right," put in the old negro, gravely ; " the world is but a troublesome 
 place. Be thankful, my friend, for being so early relieved from 
 the dangers, the difficulties, and the afflictions of this miserable 
 life." 
 
 I bore this prosing very quietly, because I should have got no 
 good by putting myself in a passion about it. At length Domingo, 
 after plying a good knife and fork, and getting gloriously muddled, 
 took himself off to the stable. Leonarda, by the glimmering of a 
 lamp, showed me the way to a vault which served as a last home to 
 those of the corps who died a natural death. Here I stumbled upon 
 something more like a grave than a bed. " This is your room," said 
 she. " Your predecessor lay here as long as he was among us, and 
 here he lies to this day. He suffered himself to be hurried out of 
 life in his prime : do not you be so foolish as to follow his example." 
 With this kind advice, she left me with the lamp for my companion 
 and returned to the kitchen. I threw myself on the little bed, not so 
 much for rest as meditation. " O Heaven 1" exclaimed I, " was there 
 ever a fate so dreadful as mine ! It is determined, then, that I am 
 to take my leave of daylight ! Besides this, as if it was not enough 
 to be buried alive at eighteen, my misery is to be aggravated by 
 being in the service of a banditti ; by passing the day with high- 
 waymen, and the night in a charnel-house." These reflections, which 
 seemed to me very dismal, and were indeed no better than they 
 seemed, set me crying most bitterly. I could not conceive what 
 cursed maggot my uncle had got into his head to send me to Sala- 
 manca; repented running away from Cacabelos, and would have 
 compounded for the torture. But, considering how vain it was to 
 shut the door when the steed was stolen, I determined, instead of 
 lamenting the past, to hit upon some expedient for making my 
 escape. " What!" thought I, " is it impossible to get off? The cut- 
 throats are asleep ; cooky and the black will be snoring ere long. 
 Why cannot I, by the help of this lamp, find the passage by which 
 I descended into these infernal regions? I am afraid, indeed, my 
 strength is not equal to lifting the trap at the entrance. However,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 37 
 
 let us see. Faint heart never won fair lady. Despair will lend me 
 new force, and who knows but I may succeed ?" 
 
 Thus was the train laid for a grand attempt. I got up as soon 
 as Leonarda and Domingo were likely to be asleep. With the lamp 
 in my hand, I stole out of the vault, putting up my prayers to all 
 the spirits in paradise, and ten miles round. It was with no small 
 difficulty that I threaded all the windings of this new labyrinth. 
 At length I found myself at the stable door, and perceived the 
 passage which was the object of my search. Pushing on, I made 
 my way towards the trap with a light pair of heels and a beating 
 heart ; but, alas I in the middle of my career I ran against a cursed 
 iron grate locked fast, with bars so close as not to admit a hand 
 between them. I looked rather foolish at the occurrence of this 
 new difficulty, which I had not been aware of at my entrance, be- 
 cause the grate was then open. However, I tried what I could do 
 by fumbling at the bars. Then for a peep at the lock ; or whether it 
 could not be forced ! When all at once my poor shoulders were 
 saluted with five or six good strokes of a cowhide. I set up such 
 a shrill alarm that the den of Cacus rang with it; when looking 
 round, who should it be but the old negro in his shirt, holding a 
 dark lantern in one hand and the instrument of my punishment in 
 the other. " 0, !" quoth he, " my merry little fellow, you will run 
 away, will you? No, no! you must not think to set your wits 
 against mine.. I heard you all the while. You thought you should 
 find the grate open, did you not ? You may take it for granted, my 
 friend, that henceforth it will always be shut. When we keep any 
 one here against his will, he must be a cleverer fellow than you to 
 make his escape." 
 
 In the meantime, at the howl I had set up, two or three of the 
 robbers waked suddenly ; and not knowing but the -holy brother- 
 hood might be falling upon them, they got up and called their com- 
 rades. Without the loss of a moment, all were on the alert. SAVords 
 and carbines were put in requisition, and the whole posse advanced 
 forward almost in a state of nature to the place where I was parley- 
 ing with Domingo. But as soon as they learned the cause of the 
 uproar, their alarm resolved itself into a peal of laughter. " How 
 now, Gil Bias," said the apostate son of the church, "you have not 
 been a good six hours with us, and are you tired of our company 
 already ? You must have a great objection to retirement. Why, 
 what would you do if you were a Carthusian friar ! Get along with 
 you, and go to bed. This time you shall get off with Domingo's 
 discipline ; but if you are ever caught in a second attempt of the 
 same kind, by Saint Bartholomew ! we will flay you alive." With 
 this hint he retired, and the rest of the party went back to their
 
 38 ADVENTURES OF OIL DLAS. 
 
 rooms. The old negro, taking credit to himself for his vigilance, 
 returned to the stable, and I found my way back to my charnel- 
 house, where I passed the remainder of the night in weeping and 
 wailing. 
 
 CHAPTEE VII. 
 
 GIL BLAS, NOT BEING ABLE TO DO WHAT HE LIKES, DOES WHAT 
 HE CAN. 
 
 FOR the first few days, I thought I should have given up the 
 ghost for very spite and vexation. The lingering life I led 
 was nearly akin to death itself; but in the end my good geniua 
 whispered me to play the hypocrite. I aimed at looking a little 
 more cheerful ; began to laugh and sing, though it was sometimes 
 on the wrong side of my mouth in a word, I put so good a 
 face on the matter, that Leonarda and Domingo were completely 
 taken in. They thought the bird was reconciled to his cage. The 
 robbers entertained the same notion. I looked as brisk as the 
 beverage I poured out, and put in my oar whenever I thought I 
 could say a good thing. My freedom, far from offending, was taken 
 in good part. " Gil Bias," quoth the captain one evening, while I was 
 playing the buffoon, " you have done well, my friend, to banish melan- 
 choly. I am delighted with your wit and humor. Some people 
 wear a mask at first acquaintance ; I had no notion what a jovial 
 fellow you were." 
 
 My praises now seemed to run from mouth to mouth. They were 
 all so partial to me, that, not to miss my opportunity, " Gentlemen," 
 quoth I, " allow me to tell you a piece of my mind. Since I have been 
 your guest, a new light breaks in upon me. I have bid adieu to 
 vulgar prejudices, and caught a ray at the fountain of your illumi- 
 nation. I feel that I was born to be your knight companion. I 
 languish to make one among you, and will stand my chance of a^ 
 halter with the best." All the company cried " Hear !" I was con- 
 sidered as a promising member of the senate. It was then deter- 
 mined unanimously to give me a trial in some inferior department ; 
 afterwards to bespeak me a good desperate encounter in which I 
 might show my prowess, and if I answered expectation, to give me 
 a high and responsible employment in the commonwealth. 
 
 It was necessary, therefore, to go on exhibiting a copy of my coun- 
 tenance, and doing my best in my office of cup-bearer. I was im-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 39 
 
 patient beyond measure ; for I only aspired after the honors of the 
 sitting, to obtain the liberty of going abroad with the rest, and I 
 was in hopes that by running the risk of getting my neck into one 
 noose I might get it out of another. This was my only chance. 
 The time, nevertheless, seemed long to wait, and I kept my eye on 
 Domingo, with the hope of outwitting him ; but the thing was not 
 feasible : he was always on the watch. Orpheus as leader of the 
 band, with a complete orchestra of performers as good as himself, 
 could not have soothed the savage breast of this Cerberus. The 
 truth is, by the by, that for fear of exciting his suspicion, I did not 
 set my wits against him so much as I might have done. He was 
 on the lookout, and I was obliged to play the prude, or my virtue 
 might have come into disgrace. I therefore stopped proceedings till 
 the time of my probation should expire ; to this I impatiently looked 
 forward, just as if I was waiting for a place under government. 
 
 Heaven be praised, in about six months I gained my end. The 
 commandant Rolando, addressing his regiment, said : " Comrades, we 
 must stand upon honor with Gil Bias. I have no bad opinion of 
 our young candidate; we shall make something of him. If you 
 will take my advice, let him go and reap his first harvest with us 
 to-morrow on the king's highway. We will lead him on in the path 
 of honor." The robbers applauded the sentiments of the captain 
 with a thunder of acclamation ; and to show me how much I was 
 considered as one of the gang, from that moment they dispensed 
 with my attendance at the sideboard. Dame Leonarda was re- 
 instated in the office from which she had been discharged to make 
 room for me. They made me change my dress, which consisted of 
 a plain short cassock, a good deal the worse for wear, and tricked 
 me out in the spoils of a gentleman lately robbed. After this in- 
 auguration, I made my arrangements for my first campaign. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 OIL BLAS GOES OtTT WITH THE GANG, AND PERFORMS AN EXPLOIT ON 
 THE HIGHWAY. 
 
 IT was past midnight, in the month of September, when I issued 
 from the subterraneous abode as one of the fraternity. I was 
 armed, like them, with a carbine, two pistols, a sword and a 
 bayonet, and was mounted on a very good horse, the property of
 
 40 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS. 
 
 the gentleman in whose costume I appeared. I had lived so long 
 like a mole under ground, that the daybreak could not fail to dazzle 
 me ; but my eyes got reconciled to it by degrees. 
 
 We passed close by Pontterrada, and were determined to lie in 
 ambush behind a small wood skirting the road to Leon. There we 
 were waiting for whatever fortune might please to throw in our 
 way, when we espied a Dominican friar, mounted, contrary to the 
 rubric of those pious fathers, on a shabby mule. " God be praised !" 
 exclaimed the captain, with a sneer ; " this is a noble beginning for 
 Gil Bias. Let him go and trounce that monk; we will bear witness 
 to his qualifications." The connoisseurs were all of opinion that this 
 commission suited my talents to a hair, and exhorted me to do my 
 best. " Gentlemen," quoth I, " you shall have no reason to complain. 
 I will strip this holy father to his birthday suit, and give you com- 
 plete right and title to his mule." " No, no," said Rolando, " the beast 
 would not be worth its fodder ; only bring us our reverend pastor's 
 purse, that is all we require." Hereupon I issued from the wood 
 and pushed up to the man of God, doing penance all the time in my 
 own breast for the sin I was committing. I could have liked to 
 have turned my back upon my fellows at that moment, but most of 
 them had the advantage of better horses than mine ; had they seen me 
 making off, they would have been at my heels, and would soon have 
 caught me, or perhaps would have fired a volley ,jpr which I was not 
 sufficiently case-hardened. I could not, therefore, venture on so peril- 
 ous an alternative ; so that claiming acquaintance with the reverend 
 father, I asked to look at his purse, and just put out the end of a 
 pistol. He stopped short to gaze upon me, and, without seeming 
 much frightened, said, " My child, you are veiy young ; this is an 
 early apprenticeship to a bad trade." " Father," replied I, " bad as it 
 is, I wish I had begun it sooner." " What ! my son," rejoined the good 
 friar, who did not understand the real meaning of what I said, " how 
 say you? What blindness! give me leave to place before your eyes 
 the unhappy condition." " Come, come, father !" interrupted I with 
 impatience, " a truce to your morality, if you please. My business 
 on the high road is not to hear sermons. Money makes my mare 
 go." " Money I" said he, with a look of surprise ; " you have a poor 
 opinion of Spanish charity, if you think that people of my stamp 
 have any occasion for such trash upon their travels. Let me un- 
 deceive you. We are made welcome wherever we go ? and pay for 
 our board and lodgings by our prayers. In short, we carry no cash 
 with us on the road, but draw drafts upon Providence." " That is all 
 very well," replied I ; " yet for fear your drafts should be dishonored, 
 you take care to keep about you a little supply for present need. 
 But come, father, let us make an end ; my comrades in the wood are
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 41 
 
 in a hurry, so your money or your life." At these words, which I 
 pronounced with a determined air, the friar began to think the 
 business grew serious. " Since needs must," said he, " there is where- 
 withal to satisfy your craving. A word and a blow is the only 
 rhetoric with you gentlemen." As he said this, he drew a large 
 leathern purse from under his gown, and threw it on the ground. 
 I then told him he might make the best of his way, and he did not 
 wait for a second bidding, but stuck his heels into the mule, which, 
 giving the lie to my opinion for I thought it on a par with my 
 uncle's set off at & good round pace. While he was riding for his 
 life, I dismounted. The purse was none, of the lightest. I mounted 
 again, and got back to the wood, where those nice observers were 
 waiting with impatience to congratulate me on my success. I 
 could hardly get my foot out of the stirrup, so eager were they 
 to shake hands with me. "Courage, Gil Bias," said Rolando ; "you 
 have done wonders. I have had my eyes on you during your 
 whole performance, and have watched your countenance. I have 
 no hesitation in predicting that you will become in time a very 
 accomplished highwayman." The lieutenant and the rest chimed in 
 with the prophecy, and assured me that I could not fail of fulfill- 
 ing it hereafter. I thanked them for the elevated idea they hud 
 formed of my talents, and promised to do all in my power not to 
 discredit their penetration. 
 
 After they had lavished praises, the effect rather of their candor 
 than of my merit, they took it into their heads to examine the 
 booty I had brought under my convoy, " Let us see," said they, 
 "how a friar's purse is lined." "It should be fat and flourishing," 
 continued one of them, " for these good fathers do not mortify the 
 flesh when they travel." The captain untied the purse, opened it, 
 and took out two or three handfuls of little copper coins, an Agnus 
 Dei here and there, and some scapularies. At sight of so novel a 
 prize, all the privates burst into an immoderate fit of laughter. 
 "God be praised 1" cried the lieutenant, "we are very much obliged to 
 Gil Bias ; his first attack has produced a supply very seasonable to 
 our fraternity." One joke brought on another. These rascals, espe- 
 cially the fellow who had retired from the church to our subterra- 
 neous hermitage, began, to make themselves merry on the subject. 
 They said a thousand good things, such as showed at once the sharp- 
 ness of their wits and the profligacy of their morals. They were all 
 on the broad grin except myself. It was impossible to be butt and 
 marksman too. Each of them shot their bolt at me, and the cap- 
 tain said : " Faith, Gil Bias, I would advise you not to set your wit a 
 second time against the church ; the biter may be bit, for you must 
 live some time longer among us before you are a match for them."
 
 42 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A MORE SERIOUS INCIDENT. 
 
 WE lounged about the wood for the greater part of the day 
 without lighting on any traveller to pay toll for the friar. 
 At length we were beginning to wear our homeward way, as if 
 confining the feats of the day to this laughable adventure, which 
 furnished a plentiful fund for conversation, when we got intelli- 
 gence of a carriage on the road, drawn by four mules. They were 
 coming at a hard gallop, with three outriders, who seemed to 
 be well armed. Eolando ordered the troop to halt, and hold a 
 council, the result of whose deliberations was to attack the enemy. 
 We were regularly drawn up in battle array, and marched to meet 
 the caravan. In spite of the applause I had gained in the wood, 
 I felt an oozing sort of a tremor come over me, with a chill in 
 my veins and a chattering in my teeth that seemed to bode me 
 no good. As it never rains but it pours, I was in the front of the 
 battle, hemmed in between the captain and the lieutenant, who had 
 given me that post of honor, that I might lose no time in learning 
 to stand fire. Rolando, observing the low ebb of my animal spirits, 
 looked askew at me, and muttered in a tone more resolute than 
 courtly : " Hark ye ! Gil Bias, look sharp about you ! I give you fair 
 notice, that if you play the recreant, I shall lodge a couple of 
 bullets in your brain." I believed him as firmly as my catechism, 
 and thought it high time not to neglect the hint ; so that I was 
 obliged to lay an embargo on the expression of my fears, and to 
 think only of recommending my soul to God in silence. 
 
 While all this was going on, the carriage and horsemen drew 
 near. They suspected what sort of gentry we were, and guessing 
 our trade by our badge, stopped within gun-shot. They had car- 
 bines and pistols as well as ourselves. While they were preparing 
 to give us a brisk reception, there jumped out of the coach a well- 
 looking gentleman, richly dressed. He mounted a led horse, and 
 put himself at the head of his party. Though they were but four 
 against nine, for the coachman kept his seat on the box, they 
 advanced towards us with a confidence calculated to redouble my 
 terror. Yet I did not forget, though trembling in every joint, to 
 hold myself in readiness for a shot; but to give a candid relation of 
 the affair, I blinked and looked the other way in letting off my 
 piece, so that from the harmlessness of my fire, I was sure not to 
 have murder to answer for in another world. 
 
 I shall not give the particulars of the engagement ; though present,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 48 
 
 I was no eye-witness ; and my fear, while it laid hold of my imagi- 
 nation, drew a veil over the anticipated horror of the sight. All I 
 know about the matter is, that after a grand discharge of musketry, 
 I heard my companions hallooing " Victory ! Victory 1" as if their 
 lungs were made of leather. At this shout the terror which had 
 made a forcible entry on my senses was ejected, and I beheld the 
 four horsemen stretched lifeless on the field of battle. On our side, 
 we had only one man killed. This was the renegade parson, who 
 had now filled the measure of his apostasy, and paid for jesting with 
 scapularies and such sacred things. The lieutenant received a 
 slight wound in the arm, but the bullet did little more than graze 
 the skin. 
 
 Master Rolando was the first at the coach-door. Within was a 
 lady of from four to five-and-twenty, beautiful as an angel in his 
 eyes, in spite of her sad condition. She had fainted during the 
 conflict, and her swoon still continued. While he was fixed like a 
 statue on her charms, the rest of us were in profound meditation on 
 the plunder. We began by securing the horses of the defunct ; for 
 these animals, frightened at the report of our pieces, had got to a 
 little distance, after the loss of their riders. For the mules, they 
 had not wagged a hair, though the coachman had jumped from his 
 box during the engagement to make his escape. We dismounted 
 for the purpose of unharnessing, and loading them with some trunks 
 tied before and behind the carriage. This settled, the captain 
 ordered the lady, who had not yet recovered her faculties, to be set 
 on horseback before the best mounted of the robbers ; then, leaving 
 the carriage and the uncased carcasses by the roadside, we carried 
 off with us the lady, the mules, and the horses. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE LADY'S TREATMENT FROM THE ROBBERS. THE RESULT OF THE 
 GREAT DESIGN CONCEIVED BY GIL BLAS. 
 
 E night had another hour to run, when we arrived at our 
 1 subterraneous mansion. The first thing we did was to lead 
 our cavalry to the stable, where we were obliged to groom them 
 ourselves, as the old negro had been confined to his bed for three 
 days, with a violent fit of the gout, and a universal rheumatism. 
 He had no member supple but his tongue, and that he employed
 
 44 A j) vi-: \rniES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 in testifying his indignation by the most horrible impieties. 
 Leaving this wretch tc curse and swear by himself, we went to the 
 kitchen to look after the lady. So successful were our attentions, 
 that we succeeded in recovering her from her fit. But when she 
 had once more the use of her senses, and saw herself encompassed 
 t rangers, she knew the extent of her misfortune, and shuddered 
 at the thought. All that grief and despair together could present 
 of images the most distressing, appeared depicted in her eyes, which 
 she lifted up to Heaven, as if in reproach for the indignities she 
 was threatened with. Then, giving way at once to these dreadful 
 apprehensions, she fell again into a swoon, her eyelids closed once 
 more, and the robbers thought that death was going to snatch from 
 them their prey. The captain, therefore, judging it more to the 
 purpose to leave her to herself than to torment her with any more 
 of their assistance, ordered her to be laid on Leonarda's bed, and at 
 all events to let nature take its course. 
 
 We went into the hall, where one of the robbers, who had been 
 bred a surgeon, looked at the lieutenant's arm and put a plaster to 
 it. After this scientific operation, it was thought expedient to ex- 
 amine the baggage. Some of the trunks were filled with laces and 
 linen, others with various articles of wearing apparel ; but the last 
 contained some bags of coin a circumstance highly approved by the 
 receivers-general of the estate. After this investigation, the cook 
 set out the sideboard, laid the cloth, and served up supper. Our 
 conversation ran first on the great victory we had achieved. " On 
 this subject," said Kolando, directing himself to me, " confess the 
 truth, Gil Bias : you cannot deny that you were devilishly frightened." 
 I candidly admitted the fact, but promised to fight like a crusader, 
 after my second or third campaign. Hereupon all the company 
 took my part, alleging the sharpness of the action in my excuse, 
 and that it was very well for a novice, not yet accustomed to the 
 smell of powder. 
 
 We next talked of the mules and horses just added to our sub- 
 terraceous stud. It was determined to set off the next morning 
 before daybreak, and sell them at Mansilla, before there was any 
 chance of our expedition having got wind. This resolution taken, 
 we finished our supper, and returned to the kitchen to pay our re- 
 spects to the lady. We found her in the same condition. Never- 
 theless, though the dregs of life seemed almost exhausted, some of 
 these poachers could not help casting a wicked leer at her, .and 
 giving visible signs of a motion within them, which would have 
 broken out into overt act, had not Eolando put a spoke in their 
 wheel, by representing that they ought at least to wait till the lady 
 had got rid of her terrors and squeamishness, and could come in for
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 45 
 
 her share of the amusement. Their respect for the captain operated 
 as a check to the incontinence of their passions. Nothing else could 
 have saved the lady ; nor would death itself probably have secured 
 her from violation. 
 
 Again therefore did we leave this unhappy female to her melan- 
 choly fate. Rolando contented himself with charging Leonarda to 
 take care of her, and we all separated for the night. For my part, 
 when I went to bed, instead of courting sleep, my thoughts were 
 wholly taken up with the lady's misfortunes. I had no doubt of 
 her being a woman of quality, and thought her lot on that account 
 so much the more piteous. I could not paint to myself, without 
 shuddering, the horrors which awaited her , and felt myself as sen- 
 sibly aifected by them, as if united to her by the ties of blood or 
 friendship. At length, after having sufficiently bewailed her destiny, 
 I mused on the means of preserving her honor from its present 
 danger, and myself from a longer abode in this dungeon. I con- 
 sidered that the old negro could not stir, and recollected that since 
 his illness the cook had the key of the grate. That thought warmed 
 my fancy, and gave birth to a project not to be hazarded lightly : 
 the stages of its execution were the following : 
 
 I pretended to have the colic. A lad in the colic cannot help whin 
 ing and groaning ; but I went further, and cried out lustily, as loud 
 as my lungs would let me. This roused my gentle friends, and 
 brought them about me, to know what the deuce was the matter. I 
 informed them that I had a swinging fit of the gripes, and to humor 
 the idea, gnashed my teeth, made all manner of wry faces till I 
 looked like a bedlamite, and twisted my limbs as if I had been going 
 to be delivered of a heathen oracle. Then I became calm all at once, 
 as if my pains had abated. The next minute, I flounced up and 
 down upon my bed, and threw my arms about at random. In a 
 word, I played my part so well, that these more experienced per- 
 formers, knowing as they were, suffered themselves to be thrown 
 off their guard, and to believe that my malady was real. All at 
 once did they busy themselves for my relief. One brought me a 
 bottle of brandy, and forced me to gulp down half of it ; another, in 
 spite of my remonstrances, applied oil of sweet almonds in a very 
 offensive manner: a third went and made a napkin burning hot, to 
 be clapped upon my stomach. In vain did I cry mercy ; they at- 
 tributed my noise to the violence of my disorder, and went on in- 
 flictjng positive evil by way of remedy for that which was artificial. 
 At last, able to bear it no longer, I was obliged to swear that I was 
 better, and entreat them to give me quarter. They left off killing 
 me with kindness, and I took care not to complain any more, for 
 fear of experiencing their tender attentions a second time...
 
 46 ADVENTURES OF UIL HLAS. 
 
 This scene lasted nearly three hours; after which the robbers, 
 calculating it to be near daybreak, prepared for their journey to 
 Mansilla. I was for getting up, as if I had set my heart on being 
 of the party ; but that they would not allow. " No, no, Gil Bias," said 
 Signer Rolando, " stay here, my lad : your colic may return. You 
 shall go with us another time ; to-day you are not in travelling con- 
 dition." I did not think it prudent to urge my attendance too much, 
 for fear of being taken at my word ; but only affected great dis- 
 appointment, with so natural an air, that they all went off without 
 the slightest misgiving of my design. After their departure, for 
 which I had prayed most fervently, 1 said to myself: " Now is your 
 time, Gil Bias, to be firm and resolved. Arm yourself with courage 
 to go through with an enterprise so propitiously begun. Domingo 
 is tied by the leg, and Leonarda may show her teeth, but she cannot 
 bite. Pounce down upon opportunity while it offers; you may 
 wait long enough for another." Thus did I spirit myself up in 
 soliloquy Having got out of bed, I laid hold of my sword and 
 pistols, and away I went to the kitchen. But before I made my 
 appearance, I stopped to hear what Leonarda was talking about to 
 the fair incognita who was come to her senses, and on a view of her 
 misfortune in its extremity, took on most desperately. "That is 
 right, my girl," said the old hag, " cry your eyes but, sob away plenti- 
 fully, you know the good effect of woman's tears. The sudden 
 shock was too much for you : but the danger is over, now the en- 
 gines can play. Your grief will abate by little aud little, and you 
 will get reconciled to living with our gentlemen, who are very good 
 sort of people. You will be better off than a princess. You do not 
 know how fond they will be of you. Not a day will pass without 
 your being obliged to some of them. Many a woman would give 
 one of her eyes to be in your place." 
 
 I did not allow Leonarda time to go on any longer with this bab- 
 bling. In I went, and putting a pistol to her breast, insisted with 
 a menacing air on her delivering up the key of the grate. She did 
 not know what to make of my behavior ; and though almost in the 
 last stage of life, had such a propensity to linger on the road, as not 
 to venture on a refusal. With the key in my hand, I directed the 
 following speech to the distressed object of my compassion : "Madam, 
 Heaven sends you a deliverer in me ; follow, and I will see you safe 
 whithersoever you wish to be conducted." The lady was not deaf to 
 my proposal, which made such an impression on her grateful heart, 
 that she jumped up with all the strength she had left, threw herself 
 at my feet, and conjured me to save her honor. I raised her from 
 the ground, and assured her she might rely on me. I then took 
 some ropes which were opportunely in the kitchen, and with her
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 47 
 
 assistance tied Leonarda to the legs of a large table, protesting that 
 I would kill her if she only breathed a murmur. After that, light- 
 ing a candle, I went with the incognita to the treasury, where I 
 filled my pockets with pistoles, single and double, as full as they 
 could hold. To encourage the lady not to be scrupulous, I begged 
 she would think herself at home, and make free with her own. 
 With our finances thus recruited, we went towards the stable, where 
 I marched in with my pistols cocked. I was of opinion that the 
 old blackamoor, for all his gout and rheumatism, would not let me 
 saddle and bridle my horse peaceably, and my resolution was to put 
 the finishing hand to all his ailments, if he took it into his head to 
 play the churl ; but, by good luck, he was at that moment in such 
 pain, that I stole the steed without his perceiving that the door was 
 open. The lady in the meantime was waiting for me. We were 
 not long in threading the passage leading to the outlet, but reached 
 the grate, opened it, and at last got to the trap. Much ado there 
 was to lift it, which we could not have done but for the new strength 
 we borrowed from the hopes of our escape. 
 
 Day was beginning to dawn when we emerged from that abyss. 
 Our first object was to get as far from it as possible. I jumped into 
 the saddle ; the lady got up behind me, and taking the first path 
 that offered, we soon galloped out of the forest. Coming to some 
 cross-roads, we took our chance. I trembled for fear of its leading 
 to Mansilla, and our encountering Rolando and his comrades. 
 Luckily my apprehensions were unfounded. We got to Astorga by 
 two o'clock in the afternoon. The people looked at us as if they 
 had never seen such a sight before as a woman riding behind a 
 man. We alighted at the first inn, I immediately ordered a part- 
 ridge and a young rabbit to the spit. While my orders were in a 
 train of execution, the lady was shown to a room, where we began 
 to scrape acquaintance with one another, which we had not done 
 on the road, on account of the speed we made. She expressed a 
 high sense of my services, and told me that after so gentlemanly a 
 conduct, she could not allow herself to think me one of the gang 
 from whom I had rescued her. I told her my story, to confirm her 
 good opinion. By these means, I entitled myself to her confidence, 
 and to the knowledge of her misfortunes, which she recounted to the 
 following effect.
 
 48 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 \ 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 THE HISTORY OF DONNA MENCIA DE MOSQtJERA. 
 
 u T WAS born at Valladolid, and am called Donna Mencia de 
 I Mosquera. My father, Don Martin, after spending most of 
 liiri family estate in the service, was killed in Portugal at the head 
 of his regiment. He left me so little property, that I was a bad 
 match, though an only daughter. I was not, however, without my 
 admirers, notwithstanding the mediocrity of my fortune. Several 
 of the most considerable cavaliers in Spain sought me in marriage. 
 My favorite was Don Alvar de Mello. It is true he had a prettier 
 person than his rivals ; but more solid qualities determined me in 
 his favor. He had wit, discretion, valor, probity ; and in addition 
 to all these, an air of fashion. Was an entertainment to be given, 
 his taste was sure to be displayed. If he appeared in the lists, he 
 always fixed the eyes of the beholders on his strength and dexterity. 
 I singled him out from among all the rest, and married him. 
 
 " A few days after our nuptials, he met Don Andrew de Baesa, who 
 had been his rival, in a private place. They attacked one another 
 sword in hand, and Don Andrew fell. As he was nephew to the 
 corregidor of Valladolid, a turbulent man, violently incensed against 
 the house of Mello, Don Alvar thought he could not soon enough 
 make his escape. He returned home speedily, and told me what 
 had happened while his horse was getting ready. ' My dear Mencia,' 
 said he at length, ' we must part. You know the corregidor ; let 
 us not flatter ourselves : he will hunt me even to death. You are 
 unacquainted with his influence ; this empire will be too hot to hold 
 me.' He was so penetrated by his own grief and mine, as not to be 
 able to articulate further. I made him take some cash and jewels ; 
 then he folded me in his arms, and we did nothing but mingle our 
 sighs and tears for a quarter of an hour. In a short time the horse 
 was at the door. He tore himself from me, and left me in a condi- 
 tion not easily to be expressed. It had been well if the excess of 
 my affliction had destroyed me ! How much pain and trouble 
 might I have escaped by death ! Some hours after Don Alvar had 
 gone, the corregidor became acquainted with his flight. He set up 
 a hue and cry after him, sparing no pains to get him into his power. 
 My husband, however, eluded his pursuit, and got into safe quar- 
 ters; so that the judge, finding himself reduced to confine his 
 vengeance to the poor satisfaction of confiscating, where he meant 
 to execute, labored to good purpose in his vocation. Don Alvar'g 
 little property all went to the hammer.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 49 
 
 "I remained in a very comfortless situation, with scarcely the 
 means of subsistence. A retired life was best suited to my circum- 
 stances, with a single female servant. I passed my hours in lament- 
 ing, not an indigence, which I bore patiently, but the absence of a 
 beloved husband, of whom I received no accounts. He had indeed 
 pledged himself, in the melancholy moments of our parting, to be 
 punctual in acquainting me with his destiny, to whatever part of 
 the world his evil star might conduct him. And yet seven years 
 rolled on without my hearing of him. My suspense respecting his 
 fate afflicted me most deeply. At last I heard of his falling in 
 battle, under the Portuguese banner, in the kingdom of Fez. A 
 man newly returned from Africa brought me the account, with the 
 assurance that he had been well acquainted with Don Alvar de 
 Mello, had served with him in the army, and had seen him drop in 
 the action. To this narrative of facts he added several collateral 
 circumstances, which left me no room to doubt of my husband's 
 premature death. 
 
 " About this time, Don Ambrosio Mesia Carrillo, Marquis de la 
 Guardia, arrived at Valladolid. He was one of those elderly noble- 
 men, who, with that good breeding acquired by long experience in 
 courts, throw their years into the background, and retain the faculty 
 of making themselves agreeable to our sex. One day, he happened 
 by accident to hear the story of Don Alvar ; and from the part I 
 bore in it and the description of my person, there arose a desire of 
 being better acquainted. To satisfy his curiosity, he made interest 
 with one of my relations to invite me to her house. The gentleman 
 was one of the party. This first interview made not the less im- 
 pression on his heart for the traces of sorrow which were too obvious 
 on my countenance. He was touched by its melancholy and lan- 
 guishing expression, which gave him a favorable forecast of my 
 constancy. Respect, rather than any warmer sentiment, might 
 perhaps be the inspirer of his wishes ; for he told me more than 
 once what a miracle of good faith he considered me, and my 
 husband's fate as enviable in this respect, however lamentable in 
 others. In a word, he was struck with me at first sight, and did not 
 wait for a review of my pretensions, but at once took the resolution 
 of making me his wife. 
 
 " The intervention of my kinswoman was adopted as the means of 
 inducing me to accept his proposal. She paid me a visit ; and in 
 the course of conversation, pleaded, that as my husband had sub- 
 mitted to the decree of Providence in the kingdom of Fez, according 
 to very credible accounts, it was no longer rational to coop up my 
 charms. I had shed tears enough over the man to whom I had been 
 united but for a few moments, as it were, and I ought to avail myself 
 4
 
 50 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 of the present offer, and had nothing to do but to step into happiness 
 at once. In furtherance of these arguments, she set forth the old 
 marquis's pedigree, his wealth, and high character; but in vain did 
 her eloquence expatiate on his endowments, for I was not to be 
 moved. Not that my mind misgave me respecting Don Alvar's 
 death, nor that the apprehension of his sudden and unwelcome 
 appearance hereafter checked my inclinations. My little liking, 
 or rather my extreme repugnance to a second marriage, after the 
 sad issue of the first, was the sole obstacle opposed to my relation's 
 urgency. Neither was she disheartened ; on the contrary, her zeal 
 for Don Ambrosio resorted to endless stratagems. All my family 
 were pressed into the old lord's service. So beneficial a match was 
 not to be trifled with ! They were eternally besetting, dunning, and 
 tormenting me. In fact, my despondency, which increased from 
 day to day, contributed not a little to my yielding. 
 
 " As there was no getting rid of him, I gave way to their eager 
 suit, and was wedded to the Marquis de la Guardia. The day after 
 the nuptials, we went to a very fine castle of his near Burgos, between 
 Grajal and Bodillas. He conceived a violent love for me ; the 
 desire of pleasing was visible in all his actions, the anticipation of 
 my slenderest wishes was his earliest and latest study. No husband 
 ever regarded his wife more tenderly, no lover could pour forth 
 more devotion to his mistress. Nor would it have been possible 
 for me to steel my heart against a return of passion, though our 
 ages were so disproportioned, had not every soft sentiment been 
 buried in Don Alvar's grave. But the avenues of a constant heart 
 are barred against a second inmate. The memory of my first 
 husband threw a damp on all the kind efforts of the second. Mere 
 gratitude was a cold retribution for such tenderness; but it was all 
 I had to give. 
 
 " Such was my temper of mind, when, taking the air one day at a 
 window in my apartment, I perceived a peasant-looking man in the 
 garden, viewing me with fixed attention. He appeared to be a 
 common laborer. The circumstance soon passed out of my thoughts, 
 but the next day, having again taken my station at the window, I 
 saw him on the self-same spot, and again found myself the objectof his 
 eager gaze. This seemed strange ! I looked at him in my turn, and, 
 after an attentive scrutiny, thought I could trace the features of the 
 unhappy Don Alvar. This seeming visit from the tomb roused all 
 the dormant agony of my soul, and extorted from me a piercing 
 scream. Happily, I was then alone with Ins, who of all my 
 women engaged the largest share of my confidence. I told her 
 what surmise had so agitated my spirits. She only -laughed at the 
 idea, and took it for granted that a slight resemblance had imposed on
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 51 
 
 my fancy. ' Take courage, madam,' said she, ' and do not be afraid 
 of seeing your first husband. What likelihood is there of his being 
 here in the disguise of a peasant? Is it even within the reach of 
 credibility that he is still alive ? However, I v/ill go down into the 
 garden and talk with this rustic. I will answer for finding out who 
 he is, and will return in all possible haste with my intelligence.' 
 Ines ran on her errand like a lapwing; she soon returned 'to my 
 apartment with a face of mingled astonishment and emotion. 
 ' Madam/ exclaimed she, ' your conjecture is but too well grounded ; 
 it is indeed Don Alvar whom you have seen ; he made himself 
 known at once, and pleads for a private interview.' 
 
 " As I had the means of admitting Don Alvar instantaneously, by 
 the absence of the Marquis at Burgos, I commissioned my waiting- 
 maid to introduce him into my closet by a private staircase. Well 
 may you imagine the hurry and agitation of my spirits. How 
 could I support the presence of a man who was entitled to over- 
 whelm me with reproaches? I fainted at his very footfall as he 
 entered. They were about me in a moment he as well as Ines ; 
 and when they had recovered me from my swoon, Don Alvar said : 
 ' Madam, for Heaven's sake compose yourself. My presence shall 
 never be the cause of pain to you ; nor would I for the world expose 
 you to the slightest anxiety. I am no savage husband, come to 
 account with you for a sacred pledge ; nor do I impute to criminal 
 motives the second contract you have formed. I am well aware 
 that it was owing to the importunity of your friends ; your persecu- 
 tions from that quarter are not unknown to me. Besides, the report 
 of my death waa current in Valladolid ; and you had so much the 
 more reason to give it credit, as no letter from me gave you any 
 assurance to the contrary. In short, I am no stranger to your 
 habits of life since our cruel separation, and know that necessity, 
 not lightness of heart, has thrown you into the arms' . . . ' Ah ! sir/ 
 interrupted I with sobs, ' why will you make excuses for your un- 
 worthy wife? She is guilty, since you survive. Why am I not still 
 in the forlorn state in which I languished before my marriage with 
 Don Ambrosio? Fatal nuptials! Alas! but for these, I should 
 at least have had the consolation in my wretchedness of seeing the 
 object of my first vows again without a blush.' 
 
 " ' My dear Mencia/ replied Don Alvar, with a look which marked 
 how deeply he was penetrated by my contrition, ' I make no com- 
 plaint of you ; and far from upbraiding you with your present pros- 
 perity, as Heaven is my witness, I return it thanks for the favors it 
 has showered on you. Since the sad day of my departure from 
 Valladolid, my own fate has ever been adverse. My life has been 
 but a tissue of misfortunes, and, as a surcharge of evil destiny, I had
 
 62 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 no means of letting you hear from me. Too secure in your affec- 
 tion, I could neither think nor dream but of the condition to which 
 my fatal love might have reduced you. Donna Mencia in tears 
 was the lovely, but killing spectre that haunted me; of all my 
 miseries, yor dear idea was the most acute. Sometimes, I own, I 
 felt remorse for the transporting crime of having pleased you. I 
 wished you had lent an ear to the suit of some happier rival, since 
 the preference with which you had honored me was to fall so 
 cruelly on your own head. To cut short my melancholy tale, after 
 seven years of suffering, more enamored than ever, I determined to 
 see you once again. The impulse was not to be resisted ; and the 
 expiration of a long slavery having furnished me with the power 
 of giving way to it, I have been at Valladolid under this disguise 
 at the hazard of a discovery. There, I learned the whole story. I 
 then came to this castle, and found the means of admission into the 
 gardener's service, who has engaged me as a laborer. Such was my 
 stratagem to obtain this private interview. But do not suppose me 
 capable of blasting, by my continuance here, the happiness of your 
 future days. I love you better than my own life ; I have no con- 
 sideration but for your repose; and it is my purpose, after thus 
 unburdening my heart, to finish in exile the sacrifice of an existence 
 which has lost its value, since no longer to be devoted to your ser- 
 vice.' 
 
 " ' No, Don Alvar, no,' exclaimed I at these words ; ' you shall never 
 quit me a second time. I will be the companion of your wander- 
 ings; and death only shall divide us from this hour.' 'Take my 
 advice,' replied he, ' live with Don Ambrosio ; unite not yourself with 
 my miseries, but leave me to stand under their undivided weight.' 
 These and other such entreaties he used ; but the more willing he 
 seemed to sacrifice himself to my welfare, the less did I feel disposed 
 to take advantage of his generosity. When he saw me resolute in 
 my determination to follow him, he all at once changed his tone, 
 and assuming an aspect of more satisfaction, ' Madam,' said he, ' since 
 you love Don Alvar well enough to prefer adversity with him before 
 your present ease and affluence, let us then take up our abode at 
 B6t:mcos, in the interior of Galicia. There I have a safe retreat. 
 Though my misfortunes may have stripped me of all my effects, 
 they have not alienated all my friends ; some are yet faithful, and 
 have furnished me with the means of carrying you off. With their 
 help I have hired a carriage at Zamora ; have bought mules and 
 horses, and am accompanied by perhaps the three boldest of the 
 Galicians. They are armed with carbines and pistols, waiting my 
 orders et the village of Eodillas. Let us avail ourselves of Don 
 Ambrosio'a absence. I will send the carriage to the castle gate, and
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL JBLAS. 53 
 
 we will set out without loss of time.' I consented. Don Alvar flew 
 towards Rodillas, and shortly returned with his escort. My women, 
 from the midst of whom I was carried off, not knowing what to 
 think of this violent proceeding, made their escape in great terror. 
 Ines only was in the secret ; but she would not link her fate with 
 mine, on account of a love affair with Don Ambrosio's favorite man. 
 " I got into the carriage, therefore, with Don Alvar, taking nothing 
 with me but my clothes and some jewels of my own before my 
 second marriage ; for I could not think of appropriating any pre- 
 sents of the Marquis. We travelled in the direction of Galicia, 
 without knowing if we should be lucky enough to reach it. We 
 had reason to fear Don Ambrosio's pursuit on his return, and that 
 we should be overtaken by superior numbers. We went forward 
 for two days without any alarm, and in the hope of being equally 
 fortunate the third, had got into a very quiet conversation. Don 
 Alvar was relating the melancholy adventure which had occasioned 
 the rumor of his death, and how he recovered his freedom, after five 
 years of slavery, when yesterday we met upon the Leon road the 
 banditti you were with. He it is whom they killed, with all his 
 attendants, and it is for him the tears flow which, you see me 
 shedding at this moment." 
 
 CHAPTEE XII. 
 
 A DISAGREEABLE INTERRUPTION. 
 
 DONNA MENCIA melted into tears as she finished this 
 recital. I allowed her to give a free passage to her sighs ; 
 I even wept myself for company, so natural is it to be interested 
 for the afflicted, and especially for a lovely female in distress. 
 I was just going to ask her what she meant to do in the present 
 conjuncture, and possibly she was going to consult me on the 
 same subject, if our conversation had not been interrupted ; but 
 we heard a great noise in the inn, which drew our attention whether 
 we would or no. It was no less than the arrival of the corregidor, 
 attended by two alguazils and their marshalmen. They came into 
 the room where we were. A young gentleman in their train came 
 first up to me, and began taking to pieces the different articles of 
 my dress. He had no occasion to examine them long. " By St. 
 James," exclaimed he, " this is my identical doublet I It is the very
 
 64 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 thing, and as safely challenged as my horse. You may commit 
 this spark on my recognizance ; he is one of the gang who have an 
 undiscovered retreat in this country." 
 
 At this discourse, which gave me to understand my accuser to be 
 the gentleman robbed, whose spoils, to my confusion, were exclusively 
 my own, I was without a word to say for myself, looking one way 
 and the other, and not knowing where to fix my eyes. The corre- 
 gidor, whose office was suspicion, set me down for the culprit ; and 
 presuming on the lady for an accomplice, ordered us into separate 
 custody. This magistrate was none of your stern gallows-preaching 
 fellows: he had a jocular, epigrammatic sort of countenance. God 
 knows if his heart lay in the right place for all that 1 As soon as I 
 was committed, in came he with his pack. They knew their trade, 
 and began by searching me. What a forfeit to these lords of the 
 manor ! At every handful of pistoles, what little eyes did I see 
 them make I The corregidor was absolutely out of his wits ! It 
 was the best stroke within the memory of justice ! " My pretty lad," 
 said his worship, with a softened tone, %we only do our duty, but do 
 not you tremble for your bones before the time ; you will not be 
 broken on the wheel if you do not deserve it." These blood-suckers 
 were emptying my pockets all the time with their cursed palaver, 
 and took from me what their betters of the shades below had the 
 decency to leave my uncle's forty ducats. They stuck at nothing. 
 Their stanch fingers, with slow but certain scent, routed me out 
 from top to toe ; they whisked me round and round, and stripped 
 me even to the shame of modesty, for fear some sneaking portrait of 
 the king should slink between my shirt and skin. When they 
 could sift me no further, the corregidor thought it time to begin his 
 examination. I told a plain tale. My deposition was taken down ; 
 and the sequel was, that he carried in his train his bloodhounds, 
 and my little property, leaving me to toss without a rag upon a 
 beggarly wisp of straw. 
 
 " Oh, the miseries of human life !" groaned I, when I found myself 
 in this merciless and solitary condition. Our adventures here are 
 whimsical, and out of all time and tune. From my first outset 
 from Oviedo, I had got into a pleasant round of difficulties ; hardly 
 had I worked myself out of one danger, before I soused into another. 
 Coming into town here, how could I expect the honor of the corre- 
 gidor's acquaintance? While thus communing with my own 
 thoughts, I got once more into the cursed doublet and the rest of 
 the paraphernalia which had got me into such a scrape; then pluck- 
 ing up a little courage, " Never mind, Gil Bias," thought I, " do not be 
 chicken-hearted. What is a prison above ground, after so brimstone 
 a snuffle as thou hast had of the regions below? But, alas 1 1 halloo
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 55 
 
 before I am out of the wood ! I am in more experienced hands 
 than those of Leonarda and Domingo. My key will not open this 
 grate I I might as well say so, for a prisoner without money is like 
 a bird with its wings clipped ; one must be in full feather to nutter 
 out of distance of these jail-birds." 
 
 But we left a partridge and a young rabbit on the spit I How 
 they got off I know not; but my supper was a bit of sallow- 
 complexioned bread, with a pitcher of water to render it amenable 
 to mastication I and thus was I destined to bite the bridle in my 
 dungeon. A fortnight was pretty well without seeing a soul but 
 my keeper, who had orders that I should want for nothing in the 
 bread and water way ! Whenever he made his appearance, I was 
 inclined to be sociable, and to parfey a little to get rid of the blue 
 devils ; but this majestic minister was above reply, he was mum I he 
 scarcely trusted his eyes but to see that I did not slip by him. On 
 the sixteenth day, the corregidor strutted in to this tune, " You are a 
 lucky fellow ! I have news for you. The lady is packed off for 
 Burgos. She came 'under my examination before her departure, 
 and her answers went to your exculpation. You will be at large 
 this very day if your carrier from Pegnaflor to Cacabelos agrees in the 
 same tale. He is now in Astorga. I have sent for him, and expect 
 him here ; if he confirms the story of the torture, you are your own 
 master." 
 
 At these words I was ready to jump out of my skin for joy. The 
 business was settled I I thanked the magistrate for the abridgment 
 of justice with which he had deigned to favor me, and was getting 
 to the fag end of my compliment, when the muleteer arrived, with 
 an attendant before and behind. I knew the fellow's face ; but he, 
 having as a matter of course sold my cloak-bag with the contents, 
 from a deep-rooted affection to the money which the sale had 
 brought, swore lustily that he had no acquaintance with me, and 
 had never seen me in the whole course of his life. "Oh, you 
 villain !" exclaimed I, " go down on your knees and own that you have 
 sold my clothes. Prythee, have some regard to truth t Look in my 
 face; am not I one of those shallow young fellows whom you had the 
 wit to threaten with the rack in the corporate town of Cacabelos?" 
 The muleteer turned upon his toe, and protested he had not the 
 honor of my acquaintance. As he persisted in his disavowal, I was 
 recommitted for further examination. Patience once more! It 
 was only reducing feasts and fasts to the level of bread and water, 
 and regaling the only sense I had the means of using with the sight 
 of my tongue-tied warden. But when I reflected how little inno- 
 cence would avail to extricate me from the clutches of the law, the 
 thought was death ; I panted for my subterraneous paradise. " Take it
 
 56 ADVENTURES OF GIL PL AS. 
 
 for all in all," said I, "there were fewer grievances than in this 
 (lunircon. I was hail fellow well met with the banditti ! I bandied 
 about my jokes with the best of them, and lived on the sweet hope 
 of an escape, whereas my innocence here will only be a passport to 
 the galleys." 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 THE LUCKY MEANS BY WHICH GIL BLAS ESCAPED FEOM PRISON, AND 
 HIS TRAVELS AFTERWARDS. 
 
 WHILE I passed the hours in tickling my fancy with my own 
 gay thoughts, my adventures, word for word, as I had set 
 my hand to them, were current about the town. The people wanted 
 to make a show of me! One after another, there they came, 
 peeping in at a little window of my prison, not too capacious of 
 daylight; and when they had looked about them, off they went! 
 This raree-show was a novelty. Since my commitment, there had 
 not been a living creature at that window, which looked into a court 
 where silence and horror kept guard. This gave me to understand 
 that I was become the town-talk, and I knew not whether to divine 
 good or evil from the omen. 
 
 One of my first visitors was the little chorister of Mondognedo, 
 who had a fellow-feeling with me for the rack, and an equally light 
 pair of heels. I knew him at once, and he had no qualms about 
 acknowledging me as an acquaintance. We exchanged a kind 
 greeting, then compared notes since our separation. I was obliged 
 to relate my adventures in due form and order. The chorister, on 
 his part, told me what had happened in the inn at Cacabelos, be- 
 tween the muleteer and the bride, after we had taken to our heels in 
 a panic. Then, with a friendly assurance at parting, he promised me 
 to leave no stone unturned for my release. His companions, of 
 mere curiosity, testified their pity for my misfortune, assuring me 
 that they would lend a helping hand to the little chorister, and do 
 their utmost to procure my freedom. 
 
 They were no worse than their word. The corregidor was applied 
 to in my favor, who, no longer doubtful of my innocence, above all 
 when he had heard the chorister's story, came three weeks after- 
 wards into my cell 1 " Gil Bias," said he, " I never stand shilly-shally- 
 iiiv : begone; you are free ; you may take yourself off whenever you 
 please. But, tell me, if you were carried into the forest, could you
 
 ADVENTUEES OF GIL BIAS. 57 
 
 not discover the subterraneous retreat ?" " No, sir," replied I : " as I 
 only entered in the night, and made my escape before daybreak, it 
 would be impossible to fix upon the spot." Thereupon the magis- 
 trate withdrew, assuring me that the jailer should be ordered to 
 give me free egress. In fact, the very next moment the turnkey 
 came into my dungeon, followed by one of his outriding establish- 
 ment, with a bundle of clothes under his arm. They both of them 
 stripped me with the utmost solemnity, and without uttering a 
 single syllable, of my doublet and breeches, which had the honor to 
 be made of a bettermost cloth almost new ; then, having rigged me 
 in an old frock, they shoved me out of their hospitable mansion by 
 the shoulders. 
 
 The state I was in to see myself so ill equipped, acted as a cooler 
 to the usual transport of prisoners at recovering their liberty. I 
 was tempted to escape from the town without delay, that I might 
 withdraw from the gaze of the people, whose prying eyes I could 
 not encounter but with pain. My gratitude, however, got the better 
 of my diffidence. I went to thank the little chorister, to whom I 
 was so much obliged. He could not help chuckling when he saw 
 me. " That is your trim, is it ?" said he. " As far as I see, you cannot 
 complain that your case has not been sifted to the bottom." " I have 
 nothing to say against the laws of my country," replied I ; "they are 
 as just as need be. I only wish their officers would take after them. 
 They might have spared me my suit of clothes ! I have paid for 
 them over and over again." " I am quite of your mind,' 1 ' rejoined he ; 
 "but they would tell you that these are little formalities of old 
 standing, which cannot be dispensed with. What 1 are you foolish 
 enough to suppose, for instance, that your horse has been restored 
 to its right owner ? Not a word of it, if you please : the beast is at 
 this present in the stables of the register, where it has been im- 
 pounded as a witness to be brought into court; if the poor gentle- 
 man comes off with the crupper, he will be so much in pocket. 
 But let us change the subject. What is your plan? What do you 
 mean to do with yourself?" " I have an inclination," said I, " to take 
 the road for Burgos. I may light on my rescued lady; she will give 
 me a little ready cash. I shall then buy a new short cassock, and 
 betake myself to Salamanca, where I shall see what I can make of 
 my Latin. All my trouble is, how to get to Burgos : one must live 
 on the road." " I understand you," replied he. " Take my purse : it is 
 rather thinly lined, to be sure ;-but you know a chorister's dividends 
 are not like a bishop's." At the same time he drew it from his pouch, 
 and inserted it between my hands with so good a grace, that I could 
 not do otherwise than accept it, for want of a better. I thanked 
 him as though he had made me a present of a gold mine, and ten-
 
 68 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 dered him a thousand promises of recompense, to be duly honored 
 and punctually paid at doomsday. With this I left him, and 
 skulked out of town, not paying my respects to my other benefac- 
 tors ; but giving them a thousand blessings from my heart. 
 
 The little chorister had reason for speaking modestly of his purse ; 
 it was not orthodox. By good luck, I had been used for these two 
 months to a very slender diet, and had still a little small change 
 left when I reached Ponte de Mula, not far from Burgos. I halted 
 there to inquire after Donna Mencia. The hostess of the inn I put 
 up at was a little withered, spiteful, emaciated bit of mortality. I 
 saw at a glance, by the mouths she made at me aside, that my frock 
 did not hit her fancy ; and I thought it a proof of her taste. So I 
 sat myself down at a table, ate bread and cheese, and drank a few 
 glasses of execrable wine, such as innkeepers technically call casse- 
 coquin. During this meal, which was of a piece with the outward 
 appearance of the guest, I did my utmost to come to closer quarters 
 with my landlady. Did she know the Marquis de la Guardia? 
 Was hia castle far out of town ? Above all, what was become of my 
 lady marchioness ? " You ask many questions in a breath," replied 
 she, bridling with disdain. But I got out of her, though by hard 
 pumping, that Don Ambrosio's castle was but a short league from 
 Ponte de Mula. 
 
 After I had done eating and drinking, as it was night, I thought 
 it natural to go to bed, and asked for my room. " A room for you !" 
 shrieked my landlady, darting at me a glance of contempt and 
 pride ; " I have no rooms for fellows who make their supper on a bit 
 of cheese. All my beds are bespoke. There are people of fashion 
 expected, and our accommodations are all kept for them. But I 
 will not be unchristian : you may lie in my barn ; I suppose your 
 soft skin will not be incommoded by the feel of straw." She spoke 
 truth without knowing it. I took it all in silence, and slunk to my 
 roosting-place, where I fell asleep like a man the excess of whose 
 labors are his ready passport to the blessings of repose.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 59 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 DONNA MENCIA'S RECEPTION OF HIM AT BURGOS. 
 
 I WAS no sluggard, but got up the next morning betimes. I 
 paid my bill to the landlady, who was already stirring, and 
 seemed a little less lofty and in better humor than the evening 
 before a circumstance I attributed to the endeavors of three kind 
 guardsmen belonging to the holy brotherhood. These gentlemen 
 had slept in the inn : they were evidently on a very intimate foot- 
 ing with the hostess, and doubtless it was for guests of such note 
 that all the beds were bespoke. 
 
 I inquired in the town my way to the castle where I wanted to 
 present myself. By accident I made up to a man not unlike my 
 landlord at Pegnaflor. He was not satisfied with answering my 
 question to the point, but informed me that Don Ambrosio had 
 been dead three weeks, and the marchioness his lady had taken the 
 resolution of retiring to a convent at Burgos, which he named. I 
 proceeded immediately towards that town, instead of taking the 
 road to the castle, as I had at first meant to do, and flew at once to 
 the place of Donna Mencia's retreat. I besought the attendant at 
 the turning-box to tell that lady that a young man just discharged 
 from prison at Astorga wanted to speak with her. The nun went 
 on the message immediately. On her return, she showed me into a 
 parlor, where I did not wait long before Don Ambrosio's widow ap- 
 peared at the grate in deep mourning. 
 
 " You are welcome," said the lady. " Four days ago I wrote to a 
 person at Astorga, to pay you a visit as from me, and to tell you to 
 come and see me the moment you were released from prison. I had 
 no doubt of your being discharged shortly : what I told the corre- 
 gidor in your exculpation was enough for that. An answer was 
 brought that you had been set at liberty, but that no one knew what 
 was become of you. I was afraid of not seeing you any more, and 
 losing the pleasure of expressing rny gratitude. Never mind," added 
 she, observing my confusion at making my appearance in so 
 wretched a garb ; " your dress is of very little consequence. After 
 the important services you have rendered me, I should be the most 
 ungrateful of my sex if I were to do nothing for you in return. I 
 undertake, therefore, to better your condition : it is my duty, and 
 the means are in my power. My fortune ia large enough to pay my 
 debt of obligation to you, without inconvenience to myself. 
 
 " You know," continued she, " my story up to the time when we both 
 were committed to prison. I will now tell you what has happened
 
 60 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS. 
 
 to me since. When the corregidor at Astorga had sent me to 
 Burgos, after having heard from my own lips a faithful recital of 
 my adventures, I presented myself at the castle of Ambrosio. My 
 return thither excited extreme surprise : but they told me that it 
 was too late ; the marquis, as if he had been thunderstruck at my 
 flight, fell sick; and the physicians despaired of his recovery. 
 Here was a new incident in the melancholy tragedy of my fate, 
 Yet I ordered my arrival to be announced. The next moment I 
 ran into his chamber, and threw myself on my knees by his bedside, 
 with a face running down with tears and a heart oppressed with 
 the most lively sorrow. ' Who sent for you hither?' said he as soon 
 as he saw me; 'are you come to contemplate your own contrivance? 
 Was it not enough to have deprived me of life ? But was it neces- 
 sary to satisfy your heart's desire to be an eye-witness of my death ?' 
 'My lord,' replied I, 'Ines must have told you that I fled with my 
 first husband ; and, had it not been for the sad accident which has 
 taken him from me forever, you never would have seen me more.' 
 At the same time I acquainted him that Don Alvar had been killed 
 by banditti, whose captive I had consequently been in a subter- 
 raneous dungeon. After relating the particulars of my story to the 
 end, Don Ambrosio held out to me his hand. ' It is enough,' said he, 
 affectionately : ' I will make no more complaints. Alas ! Have I 
 in fact any right to reproach you? You were thrown once more in 
 the way of a beloved husband, and gave me up to follow his for- 
 tunes; can I blame such an instance of your affection? No, 
 madam, it would have been vain to resist the will of fate. For 
 that reason I gave orders not to pursue you. In my rival himself 
 I could not but respect the sacred rights with which he was invested, 
 and even the impulse of your flight seemed to have been communi- 
 cated by some superior power. To close all with an act of justice, 
 and in the spirit of reconciliation, your return hither has reestab- 
 lished you completely in my affection. Yes, my dear Mencia, your 
 presence fills me with joy ; but, alas ! I shall not long be sensible to 
 it. I feel my last hour to be at hand. No sooner are you restored 
 to me, than I must bid you an eternal farewell.' At these touching 
 expressions, my tears flowed in torrents. I felt and expressed as 
 much affliction as the human heart is capable of containing. I 
 question whether Don Alvar's death, doting on him as I did, had 
 cost me more bitter lamentations. Don Ambrosio had given way 
 to no mistaken presage of his death, which happened on the follow- 
 ing day ; and I remained mistress of a considerable jointure, settled 
 on me at our marriage. But I shall take care to make no unworthy 
 use of it. The world shall not see me, young as I still am, wanton- 
 ing in the arms of a third husband. Besides that such levity seems
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 61 
 
 irreconcilable with the feelings of any but the profligate of our sex, 
 I will frankly own the relish of life to be extinct in me ; so that I 
 mean to end my days in this convent, and to become a benefactress 
 to it." 
 
 Such was Donna Mencia's discourse about her future plans. She 
 then drew a purse from beneath her robe, and put it into my hands, 
 with this address : " Here are a hundred ducats simply to furnish out 
 your wardrobe. That done, come and see me again. I mean not 
 to confine my gratitude within such narrow bounds." I returned 
 her a thousand thanks, and promised solemnly not to quit Burgos 
 without taking leave of her. Having given this pledge, which I 
 had every inclination to redeem, I went to look out for some house 
 of entertainment. Entering the first I met with, I asked for a room. 
 To parry the ill opinion my frock might convey of my finances, I 
 told the landlord that, however appearances might be against me, 
 I could pay for my night's lodging as well as a better dressed 
 gentleman. At this speech, the landlord, whose name was Majuelo, 
 a great banterer in a coarse way, running over me with his eyes 
 from top to toe, answered, with a cool, sarcastic grin, that there was 
 no need of any such assurance ; it was evident I should pay my way 
 liberally, for he discovered something of nobility through my dis- 
 guise, and had no doubt but I was a gentleman in very easy circum- 
 stances. I saw plainly that the rascal was laughing at me; and to 
 stop his humor before it became too convulsive, gave him a little 
 insight into the state of my purse. I went so far as to count over 
 my ducats on a table before him, and perceived my coin to have 
 inclined him to a more respectful judgment. I begged the favor of 
 him to send for a tailor. " A broker would be better," said he ; " he 
 will bring all sorts of apparel, and you will be dressed up out of 
 hand." I approved of this advice, and determined to follow it ; but, 
 as the day was on the point of closing, I put off my purchase till the 
 morrow, and thought only of getting a good supper, to make me 
 amends for the miserable fare I had taken up with since my escape 
 from the forest.
 
 62 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 CHAPTEE XV. 
 
 GIL BLAS DRESSES HIMSELF TO MORE ADVANTAGE, AND RECEIVES A 
 SECOND PRESENT FROM THE LADY. HIS EQUIPAGE ON SETTING OUT 
 FROM BCRGOS. 
 
 served me up a plentiful fricassee of sheep's trotters, 
 almost the whole of which I demolished. My drinking kept 
 pace with my eating; and when I could stuff no longer, I went 
 to bed. I lay comfortably enough, and was in hopes that a 
 sound sleep would have the kindness without delay to commit a 
 friendly invasion on my senses. But I could not close an eye, for 
 ruminating on the dress I should choose. " What shall I do," thought 
 I ? " Shall I follow my first plan ? Shall I buy a short cassock, and 
 go to Salamanca to set up for a tutor? Why should I adopt the 
 costume of a licentiate? For the purpose of going into orders? 
 Do I feel an inward call ? No. If I have any call, it is quite the 
 contrary way. I had rather wear a sword than an apron, and push 
 my fortune in this world before I think of the next." 
 
 I made up my mind to take on myself the appearance of a gentle- 
 man. Waiting for the day with the greatest impatience, its first 
 dawn no sooner greeted my eyes, than I got up. I- made such an 
 uproar in the inn, as to wake the most inveterate sleeper, and called 
 the servants out of bed, who returned my salute with a volley of 
 curses. But they found themselves under a necessity of stirring, 
 and I let them have no rest till they had sent for a broker. The 
 gentleman soon made his appearance, followed by two lads, each 
 lugging in a great bundle of green cloth. He accosted me very 
 civilly, to the following effect : " Honored sir, you are a happy man 
 to have been recommended to me rather than any one else. I do 
 not mean to give my brethren an ill word ; God forbid I should 
 offer the slightest injury to their reputation I They have none to 
 spare. But, between ourselves, there is not one of them that has 
 any bowels ; they are more extortionate than the Israelites. There 
 is not a broker but myself that has any moral sense. I keep within 
 the bounds of a reasonable profit. I am satisfied with a pound in 
 the penny ; no, no ! that is wrong with a penny in the pound. 
 Thanks to Heaven, I get forward fairly and softly in the world." 
 
 The broker, after this preface, which I, like a fool, took for 
 chapter and verse, told his journeymen to undo their bundles. 
 They showed me suits of every color in the rainbow, and exposed to 
 sale a great choice of plain cloths. These I threw aside with con- 
 tempt, as thinking them too undressed ; but they made me try on
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 63 
 
 one which fitted me as well as if I had been measured for it, and 
 just hit my fancy, though it was a little the worse for wear. It was 
 a doublet with slashed sleeves, with breeches and a cloak, the whole 
 of blue velvet with gold embroidery. I felt a little hankering after 
 this particular article, and attempted to beat down the price. The 
 broker, who saw my inclination, told me I had a very correct taste. 
 " By all that is sacred !" exclaimed he, " it is plain you are no younker. 
 Take this with you 1 That dress was made for one of the first 
 nobility in the kingdom, and has not been on his back three times. 
 Look at the velvet ; feel it ; nothing can be richer or of a better 
 color ; and for the embroidery, come, now ! tell truth ; did -you ever 
 see better workmanship ?" " What is the price of it ?" said I. " Only 
 sixty ducats," replied he. " I have refused the money, or else I am a 
 liar." The alternative could not fail in one proposition or the 
 other. I bid five-and-forty ; two or three-and-twenty would have 
 been nearer the mark. " My worthy master," said the broker, coolly, 
 " I never ask too much. I have but one price. But here," added he, 
 holding up the suits I had thrown aside ; " take these ; I can afford to 
 sell them a better bargain." All this only inflamed my eagerness to 
 buy what I was cheapening; and as I had no idea that he would 
 have made any abatement, I paid him down sixty ducats. When 
 he saw how easily a fool and his money are parted, I verily believe 
 that, in spite of the moral sense, he heartily repented not having 
 taken a hint from the extortionate Israelite. But reconciling him- 
 self as well as he could to the small profit, to which he professed to 
 confine himself, of a pound upon a penny, he retreated with his 
 journeymen. I was not suffered to forget that they muat have 
 something for their trouble. 
 
 I had now a cloak, a doublet, and a very decent pair of breeches. 
 The rest of my wardrobe was to be thought off, and this took up the 
 whole morning. I bought some linen, a hat, silk stockings, shoes, 
 and a sword ; and concluded by putting on my purchases. What 
 pleasure was it to see myself so well accoutred! My eyes were 
 never cloyed, as it were, with the richness of my attire. Never did 
 peacock look at his own plumage with less philosophy. On that 
 very day, I paid a second visit to Donna Mencia, who received me 
 with her usual affability. She thanked me over again for the service 
 I had rendered her. On that subject rapid was the interchange of 
 compliments. Then, wishing every kind of success, she bade me 
 farewell, and withdrew, without giving me anything but a ring 
 worth thirty pistoles, which she begged me to keep as a remem- 
 brance, 
 
 I looked very foolish with my ring ! I had reckoned on a much 
 more considerable present. Thus, little satisfied with the lady's
 
 64 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 bounty, I measured back my steps in a very musing attitude ; but 
 as I entered the inn door, a man overtook me, and throwing oft' his 
 wrapping do:ik, discovered a large bag under his arm. At the 
 vision of the bag, apparently full of current coin, I stood gaping, as 
 did most of the company present. The voice of angel or archangel 
 could not have been sweeter than when this messenger of earthly 
 dross, laying the bag upon the table, said : " Signor Gil Bias, the 
 lady marchioness desires her compliments." I bowed the bearer 
 out, with an accumulation of fine speeches; as soon as his back 
 was turned, I pounced upon the bag, like a hawk upon its quarry, 
 and bore it between my talons to my chamber. I untied it without 
 loss of time, and the contents were a thousand ducats ! The land- 
 lord, who had overheard the bearer, came in, just as I had done 
 counting them, to know what was in the bag. The sight of my 
 riches displayed upon a table struck him in a very forcible manner. 
 " What the devil 1 here is a sum of money I So, so ! you are the man !" 
 pursued he, with a waggish sort of leer ; " you know how to tickle 
 the fancies of the ladies ! Four-and-twenty hours only have you 
 been in Burgos, and marchionesses, I warrant you, have surrendered 
 at the first summons I" 
 
 This discourse was not so much amiss. I was half inclined to 
 leave Majuelo in his error, for it flattered my vanity. I do not 
 wonder young fellows are fond of passing for men of gallantry. 
 But as yet the purity of my morals was proof against the sugges- 
 tions of my pride. I undeceived my landlord, by telling him Donna 
 Mencia's story, to which he listened very attentively. Afterwards 
 I let him into the state of my affairs, and, as he seemed to take an 
 interest in them, besought him to assist me with his advice. He 
 ruminated for some time ; then said, with a serious air: "Master Gil 
 Bias, I have taken a liking to you; and since you are candid 
 enough to open your heart to me, I will tell you sincerely what I 
 think would suit you best. You were evidently born for a court 
 life ; I recommend you to go thither, and to get about the person of 
 some considerable nobleman. But make a point either of getting 
 at his secrets or administering to his pleasures ; unless you do that, 
 it will be all lost time in his family. I know the great; they 
 reckon nothing upon the zeal and attachment of a real friend, but 
 only care for pimping sycophants. You have, besides, another 
 string to your bow. You are young, with an attractive person ; 
 parts out of the question, for they are not at all times necessary, it 
 is hard if you cannot turn the head of some rich widow, or hand- 
 some wife with a broomstick for her husband. Love may ruin men 
 of fortune, but it makes amends by feathering the nests of those 
 who have none. My vote, therefore, is for Madrid ; but you must
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL JiLAS. 65 
 
 not make your appearance there without an establishment. There, 
 as elsewhere, people judge by the outside ; and you will only be 
 respected according to the figure you make. I will find you a 
 servant, a tried domestic, a prudent lad ; in a word, a fellow of my 
 own creation. Buy a couple of mules ; one for yourself, the other 
 for him, and set off as fast as you can." 
 
 This counsel was too palatable to be refused. On the day follow- 
 ing, I purchased two fine mules, and bargained with my new 
 servant. He was a young man of thirty, of a very simple and godly 
 appearance. He told me he was a native of Galicia, by name Am- 
 brose de Lamela. Other servants are selfish, and think they can 
 never have wages enough. This fellow assured me he was a man of 
 few wants, and should be contented with whatever I had the good- 
 ness to give him. I bought a pair of boots, with a portmanteau to 
 lock up my linen and my money. Having settled with my landlord, 
 I set out from Burgos the next morning before sunrise, on my way 
 to Madrid. 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 SHOWING THAT PEOSPERITY WILL SLIP THROUGH A MAN'S FINGERS. 
 
 WE slept at Duengnas the first night, and reached Valladolid 
 on the following day, about four o'clock in the afternoon. 
 We alighted at the inn of the most respectable appearance in 
 the town. I left the care of the mules to my fellow, and went 
 up to a room, whither I ordered my portmanteau to be carried by a 
 waiter. As I felt a little weary, I threw myself on a couch in my 
 boots, and fell asleep involuntarily. It was almost night when I 
 awoke. I called for Ambrose. He was not to be found in the 
 house, but made his appearance in a short time. I asked him 
 where he had been ; he answered in his godly way that he was just 
 come from church, whither he went for the purpose of thanksgiving, 
 by reason that we had been graciously preserved from all perils and 
 dangers between Burgos and Valladolid. I commended his piety, 
 and ordered a chicken to be roasted for supper. 
 
 At the moment when I was giving this order, my landlord came 
 into my room with a light in his hand. That cursed candle served 
 to introduce a lady, handsome but not young, and very richly at- 
 tired. She leaned upon an usher, none of the youngest, and a little 
 blackamoor was her train-bearer. I was under no small surprise 
 5
 
 66 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 when this fair incognita, with a profound obeisance, begged to know 
 if my name might happen to be Signer Gil Bias of Santillane? I 
 had no sooner blundered out yes, than she released her sweet hand 
 from the custody of theushcr, and embraced me with a transport of joy, 
 of which I knew less and less what to make. " Heaven be praised," 
 cried she, " for all its mercies ! You are he, noble sir, the very man 
 of whom I was in quest." By this introduction, I was reminded of 
 my friend the parasite at Pegnaflor, and was on the point of suspect- 
 ing the lady to be no better than an honest woman should be : but 
 her finale gave me a much higher opinion of her. " I am," continued 
 she, " first cousin to Donna Mencia de Mosquera, whom you have so 
 greatly befriended. It was but this morning I received a letter 
 from her. She writes me word that having learned your intention 
 of going to Madrid, she wished me to receive you hospitably on 
 your journey, if you went this way. For these two hours have I 
 been parading the town. From inn to inn have I gone to inform 
 myself what strangers were in the house; and I gathered from the 
 landlord's description that you were most likely to have been my 
 cousin's deliverer. Since, then, I have found you out, you shall 
 know by experience my gratitude to the friends of my family, and 
 especially to my dear cousin's hero. You will take up your abode, 
 if you please, at my house. Your accommodations will be better." 
 I wished to excuse myself, and told the lady that I could not be so 
 troublesome ; but her importunities were more than a match for my 
 modesty. A carriage was waiting at the door of the inn to convey 
 us. She saw my portmanteau taken care of with her own eyes, be- 
 cause, as she justly observed, there were a great many light-fingered 
 gentry about Valladolid to be sure there were a great many light- 
 fingered gentry about Valladolid, as she justly observed ! In short, 
 I got into the carriage with her and the old usher, and suffered my- 
 self to be carried off bodily from the inn, to the great annoyance of 
 the landlord, who saw himself thus weaned from all the little per- 
 quisites he had reckoned on from my abode under his roof. 
 
 Our carriage, having rolled on some distance, stopped. We 
 alighted at the door of a handsome house, and went up stairs into 
 a well-furnished apartment, illuminated by twenty or thirty wax 
 candles. Several servants were in waiting, of whom the lady in- 
 quired whether Don Raphael was come. They answered, no. She 
 then addressed herself to me : " Signer Gil Bias, I am waiting for my 
 brother's return from a country seat of ours, about two leagues dis- 
 tant. What an agreeable surprise will it be to him to find a man 
 under his roof to whom our family is so much indebted!" At the 
 very moment she had finished this pretty speech, we heard a noise, 
 and were informed at the same time that it was occasioned by the
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 67 
 
 arrival of Don Raphael. This spark soon made his appearance. 
 He was a young man of portly figure and genteel manners. " I am 
 in ecstasy to see you back again, brother," said the lady ; " you will 
 assist me in doing the honors to Signer Gil Bias of Santillane. We 
 can never do enough to show our sense of his kindness to our kins- 
 woman, Donna Mencia. Here, read this letter I have just received." 
 Don Raphael opened the envelope, and read aloud as follows : 
 
 "My DEAR CAMILLA : Signor Gil Bias of Santillane, the 
 saviour of my honor and my life, has just set out for court. He 
 will of course pass through Valladolid. I conjure you by our family 
 connection, and still more by our indissoluble friendship, to give 
 him a hospitable reception, and to detain him for some time as your 
 guest. I natter myself that you will so far oblige me, and that my 
 deliverer will receive every kind of polite attention from yourself, 
 and my cousin Don Raphael. 
 
 " Your affectionate cousin, 
 
 "Burgos"- " DONNA MENCIA. 
 
 " What !" cried Don Raphael, casting his eyes again over the letter, 
 " is it to this gentleman my kinswoman owes her honor and her life ? 
 Then Heaven be praised for this happy meeting." With this sort of 
 language, he advanced towards me; and squeezing me tightly in 
 his arms : " What joy to me is it," added he, " to have the honor of see- 
 ing Signor Gil Bias of Santillane? My cousin the marchioness had 
 no need to press the hospitality. Had she only told us simply that 
 you were passing through Valladolid, that would have been enough. 
 My sister Camilla and I shall be at no loss how to conduct ourselves 
 towards a young gentleman who has conferred an obligation, not 
 to be repaid, on her of all our family most tenderly beloved by us." 
 (I made the best answer I could to these speeches, which were fol- 
 lowed by many others of the same kind, and interlarded with a 
 thousand bows and scrapes.) " But Lord bless me, he has his boots 
 on !" The servants were ordered in to take them off. 
 
 We next went into another room, where the cloth was laid. 
 Down we sat at table, the brother, sister, and myself. They paid 
 me a hundred compliments during the supper. Not a word escaped 
 me, but they magnified it into an admirable hit ! It was impossible 
 not to observe the assiduity with which they both helped me out of 
 every dish. Don Raphael often pledged me to Donna Mencia's 
 health. I could not refuse the challenge ; and it looked a little as 
 if Camilla, who was a very good companion, ogled at me with no 
 questionable meaning. I even thought I could perceive that she 
 watched her opportunity, as if she was afraid of being detected by
 
 68 ADVKKTVHES OF GIL If LAS. 
 
 her brother. An oracle could not have convinced me more firmly 
 that the lady was caught ; and I looked forward to a little delicate 
 amusement from the discovery, during the short time I was to stay 
 at Valladolid. That hope was my tempter to comply with the re- 
 quest they made me, of condescending to pass a few days with 
 them. They thanked me kindly for indulging them with my com- 
 pany; and Camilla's restrained but visible transport confirmed me 
 in the opinion that I was not altogether disagreeable in her eyes. 
 
 Don Eaphael, finding I had made up my mind to be his guest for 
 a few days, proposed to take me to his country house. The descrip- 
 tion of it was magnificent, and the round of amusements he medi- 
 tated for me was not to be described. " At one time," said he, " we 
 will take the diversion of the chase, at another that of fishing; and 
 whenever you have a mind for a saunter, we have charming woods 
 and gardens. In addition, we shall have agreeable society. I flatter 
 myself you will not find the time hang heavy on your hands." I 
 accepted the invitation, and it was agreed that we should go to this 
 fine country house the following day. We rose from table with this 
 pleasant scheme in our mouths. Don Raphael seemed in ecstasy. 
 " Signor Gil Bias," said he, embracing me, " I leave you with my 
 sister. I am going presently to give the necessary orders, and send 
 invitations round to the families I wish to be of the party." With 
 these words he sallied forth from the room where we were sitting. I 
 went on chatting with the lady, whose topics of discourse did not 
 belie the glances of her expressive eyes. She took me by the hand, 
 and, playing with my ring, " You have a mighty pretty brilliant 
 there," said she, "but it is small. Are you a judge of jewelry?" I 
 answered, no ! "I am sorry for that," resumed she, " because I was 
 in hopes you could have told me what this is worth." As she uttered 
 these words, she showed me a large ruby on her finger ; while I was 
 looking at it, she said, " An uncle of mine, who was governor of the 
 Spanish settlements in the Philippine Isles, gave me this ruby. The 
 jewellers at Valladolid value it at three hundred pistoles." " It cannot 
 be worth less," said I, "for it is evidently a very fine stone." "Why, 
 then, since you have taken a fancy to it," replied she, "an exchange 
 is no robbery." In a twinkling she whisked off my ring, and placed 
 her own on my little finger. After this exchange, a genteel way of 
 making a present, Camilla pressed my hand and gazed at me with 
 expressive tenderness ; then, all at once breaking off the conversa- 
 tion, wished me good-night, and retired to hide her blushes, as if she 
 had been ready to sink at the indiscreet avowal of her sentiments. 
 
 No one hitherto had trod less in the paths cf gallantry than my- 
 self! Yet I could not shut my eyes to the vision opened to me 
 by this precipitate retreat. Under these circumstances, a country
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 69 
 
 excursion might have its charms. Full of this flattering idea, and 
 intoxicated with the prosperous condition of my affairs, I locked 
 myself into my bed-room, after having told my servant to call me 
 betimes in the morning. Instead of going to sleep, I gave myself 
 up to the agreeable reflections which my portmanteau, snug upon 
 the table, and my ruby excited in my breast. " Heaven be praised I" 
 thought I, "though misfortunes have been my lot, I am unfortunate 
 no longer. A thousand ducats here, a ring of three hundred pistoles 
 value there ! I am in cash for a considerable time. Indeed Majuelo 
 was no flatterer, I see clearly. The ladies of Madrid will take fire 
 like touchwood, since the green sticks of Valladolid are so inflam- 
 mable." Then the kind regards of the generous Camilla arrayed 
 themselves in all their charms, and I tasted by anticipation the 
 amusements Don Raphael was preparing for me at his villa. In 
 the meanwhile, amid so many images of pleasure, Sleep was on the 
 watch to strew his poppies on my couch. As soon as I felt myself 
 drowsy, I undressed and went to bed. 
 
 The next morning, when I awoke, I found it rather late. It was 
 odd enough that my servant did not make his appearance, after 
 such particular orders. Ambrose, thought I to myself, my devout 
 Ambrose, is either at church, or abominably lazy this morning. 
 But I soon let go this opinion of him to take up a worse ; for getting 
 out of bed, and seeing no portmanteau, I suspected him to have 
 stolen it during the night. To clear up my suspicions, I opened 
 my chamber door, and called the religious rascal over and over again. 
 An old man answered, saying, "What is your pleasure, sir? All 
 your folks left my house before daybreak." " Your house ! How 
 now I" exclaimed I ; " am I not under Don Raphael's roof?" " I do 
 not know the gentleman," said he. "You are in a ready-furnished 
 lodging, and I am the landlord. Yesterday evening, an hour before 
 your arrival, the lady who supped with you came hither, and engaged 
 this suite of apartments for a nobleman of high rank, travelling 
 incognito, as she called it. She paid me beforehand." I was now in 
 the secret. It was plain enough what sort of people Camilla and 
 Don Raphael were; and I conjectured that my servant, having 
 wormed himself into a complete knowledge of my concerns, had be- 
 trayed me to these impostors. Instead of blaming myself for this 
 sad accident, and considering that it could never have happened 
 but for my indiscretion in so unnecessarily betraying my confidence 
 to Majuelo, I uttered bad language to the poor harmless Dame For- 
 tune, and cursed my ill star in a hundred different formularies. 
 The master of the ready-furnished lodging, to whom I related the 
 adventure, which perhaps was as much his as mine, showed somo 
 little outward sensibility to my affliction. He lamented over me,
 
 TO ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 and protested he was deeply mortified that such a play should have 
 been acted in his house ; but I verily believe, notwithstanding his 
 fine words, that he had an equal share in the cheat with mine host 
 at Burgos, to whom I have never denied the merit of so ingenious 
 an invention. 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 THE MEASURES GIL BLAS TOOK AFTER THE ADVENTURE OF THE READY- 
 FURNISHED LODGING. 
 
 A FTER the first transports of my grief were over, I began 
 JLJL to consider that, instead of giving way to remorse, I ought 
 rather to bear up against my ill fate. I summoned back my 
 resolution, and by way of comfort, said to myself as I was dressing, 
 " I am still in luck that the knaves have not carried off my clothes, 
 and what little money I had in my pocket." I gave them some 
 credit for being so considerate. They had even been generous 
 enough to leave me my boots, which I parted with to the landlord 
 for a third of their cost. At last I sallied out of the ready-furnished 
 lodging, unencumbered, Heaven be praised, with baggage or at- 
 tendance. The first thing I did was to go and see if my mules were 
 still at the inn, where we alighted the evening before. It was not 
 to be supposed that Ambrose would have neglected a due attention 
 to them ; and it would have been well for me if I had always taken 
 such exact measure of his character. I learned that he had not 
 waited for the morning, but had been careful to fetch them off over- 
 night. Under these circumstances, satisfied I should never see 
 them again, any more than my portmanteau, I walked sulkily along 
 the streets, musing on the future plans I should adopt. I was 
 tempted to go back to Burgos, and once more have recourse to 
 Donna Mencia ; but, regarding this as an abuse of that lady's good- 
 ness, and being aware, moreover, what a fool I should look like, 
 I thought it best to forego that idea. I made a vow, too, for the 
 future to be on my guard against women. I could have sent the 
 chaste Susanna to the house of correction. From time to time my 
 ring caught my eye ; it was a present from Camilla, and I was 
 ready to burst with anguish. " Alas !" thought I, " I am no judge of 
 jewelry, but I shall be, by experience of these hucksters who ex- 
 change without a robbery. I need not go to a jeweller to be told 
 I am an ass I I can see my own face in my ruby."
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 71 
 
 Yet I did not neglect to know the truth respecting the value of 
 my ring, and showed it to a lapidary, who rated it at three ducats. 
 At such an estimate, though as much as I expected, I made a 
 formal surrender to the devil of the Philippine Islands, the gover- 
 nor and his niece ; or rather, I only restored his own subjects to 
 their lawful sovereign. As I was going out of the lapidary's shop, a 
 young fellow brushed by me, and on looking round, made a full 
 stop. I could not recollect his name at first, though his features 
 were perfectly familiar to me. " How now, Gil Bias," said he, " are 
 you ashamed of an old acquaintance? or have two years so altered the 
 son of Nunez the barber that you do not know him ? Do not you 
 recollect Fabricio, your townsman and schoolfellow? How often 
 have we argued, before Doctor Godinez, upon universals and meta- 
 physics !" 
 
 These words did not flow so fast as my recollection, and we em- 
 braced with mutual good will. " Well, my friend," resumed he, " I 
 am overjoyed to meet with you. Words fall short. . . . But how is 
 this? Why, you look like as Heaven is my judge, you are dressed 
 like a grandee! A gentleman's sword, silk stockings, a velvet 
 doublet and cloak, embroidered with silver I Plague take it ! this 
 is getting on in the world with a vengeance. I will lay a wager you 
 are in with some old moneyed harridan." " You reckon without your 
 host," said I ; " my affairs are not so prosperous as you imagine." 
 " That will not do for me," replied he, " I know better things ; but you 
 have a mind to be close. And that fine ruby on your finger, master 
 Gil Bias, whence comes that, if I may be so bold?" "It comes," 
 quoth I, " from an infernal jade. Fabricio, my dear Fabricio, far 
 from being point, quint, and quatorze with the ladies of Valladolid, 
 you are to know, my friend, that I am their complete bubble." 
 
 I uttered these last words so ruefully, that Fabricio saw plainly 
 that some trick had been played upon me. He was anxious to 
 learn why I was out of humor with the lovely sex. I had no diffi- 
 culty in satisfying his curiosity ; but as the story was a long one, 
 and, besides, we had no mind to part in a hurry, we went into a 
 coffee-house to be a little more at ease. There I recounted to him, 
 during breakfast, all that had happened to me since my departure 
 from Oviedo. My adventures he thought whimsical enough, 
 and testifying his sympathy in my present uneasy circumstances, 
 added, "We must make the best, my good lad, in all our misfortunes 
 in this life. Is a man of parts in distress? he waits patiently for 
 better luck. Such a one, as Cicero truly observes, never suffers 
 himself to be humbled so low as to forget that he is a man. For 
 my own part, that is just my character ; in or out of favor, there ia 
 no sinking me ; I always float on the surface of ill luck. For ex-
 
 72 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 ample, I was in love with a girl of some family at Oviedo, and was 
 beloved by her in return. I asked her of her lather in marriage; he 
 refused. Many a young fellow would have died of grief; but no ! 
 mark my spirit : I carried off the little baggage. She was lively, 
 heedless, and coquettish ; pleasure consequently was always upper- 
 most, to the prejudice of duty. I took her with me for six months 
 backward and forward about Galicia ; thence, adopting my taste 
 for travelling, she had a mind to go to Portugal, but in other com- 
 pany more food for despair. Yet I did not give in under the 
 weight of this new affliction ; but, improving on Menelaus, thought 
 myself much obliged to the Paris who had whispered in the ear of 
 my Helen, for ridding me of a bad bargain ; I therefore determined 
 to keep the peace. After that, not finding it convenient to return 
 to the Asturias and balance accounts with justice, I went forward 
 into the kingdom of Leon, spending between one town and another 
 all the loose cash remaining from the rape of my Indian princess ; 
 for we had both of us bird-limed our fingers at our departure from 
 Oviedo. I got to Palencia with a solitary ducat, out of which I 
 was obliged to buy a pair of shoes. The remainder would not go 
 far. My situation became rather perplexing. I began already to 
 be reduced to short allowance; something must be done. I resolved 
 to go out to service. My first place was with a woollen-draper in a 
 large way, whose son was a lad of wit and fashion ; here was a com- 
 plete antidote to fasting, but there was a little awkwardness. The 
 father ordered me to clog the son, the son begged my assistance in 
 imposing on the father ; it was necessary to take one side or other. 
 Entreaties sound more musical than commands, and my taste for 
 music got me turned out of doors. The next service I entered into 
 was with an old painter, who undertook, as a matter of favor, to 
 teach me the principles of his art; but he was so busy in feeding me 
 with knowledge, that he forgot to give me any meat. This neglect 
 of substance for shadow disgusted me with my abode at Palencia. 
 I came to Valladolid, where, by the greatest good luck in the 
 world, I was hired by a governor of the hospital ; I am with him 
 still, and delighted with my quarters. My master, Signer Manuel 
 Ordonnez, is a man of profound piety. He always walks with his 
 eyes cast downwards, and a large rosary in his hand. They say 
 that from his early youth, having been a close inspector of the 
 poor, he has interested himself in their affairs with unwearied zeal. 
 Charity draws down a blessing on the charitable ; everything has 
 prospered with him. What a favorite of Heaven ! The more he 
 does for the poor, the richer he grows." 
 
 As Fabricio was going on in this manner, I interrupted him. " It 
 is well you are satisfied with your lot ; but between ourselves, surely
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 73 
 
 you might play your part better in the world." " Do not believe it, 
 Gil Bias," replied he ; " be assured that for a man of my temper a 
 more agreeable situation could not possibly be devised. The trade 
 of a lackey is toilsome, to be sure, for a poor creature ; but for a lad 
 of spirit, it is all enchantment. A superior genius, when he gets a 
 service, does not go about like a lumpish simpleton. He enters 
 into a family as viceroy over the master, not as an inferior minis- 
 ter. He begins by measuring the length of his employer's foot ; by 
 lending himself to his weaknesses, he gains his confidence, and 
 ends with leading him by the nose. Such has been my plan of 
 operation at the governor's. I knew the pilgrim at once by his 
 staff; his wish was for an earthly canonization. I pretended to 
 believe him to be the saint he wished to be taken for ; hypocrisy 
 costs nothing. Nay, I went further, for I took pattern by him ; and 
 playing the same part before him which he played before others, I 
 out-cozened the cozener, and by degrees got to be major domo. I am 
 in hopes some day or other, under his wing, to have the fingering 
 of the poor's-box. It may bring a blessing upon me as well as upon 
 another ; for I have caught the flame from him, and already feel 
 deeply for the interests of charity." 
 
 " These are fine hopes, my dear Fabricio," replied I ; " and I con- 
 gratulate you upon them. For my part, I am determined on my 
 first plan. I shall straightway convert my embroidered suit into a 
 cassock, repair to Salamanca, and there, enlisting under the banner 
 of the university, fulfill the sacred duties of a tutor." " A fine 
 scheme!" exclaimed Fabricio, " a pleasant conceit I What madness,' 
 at your age to turn pedant. Are you aware, you stupid fellow, what 
 you take upon yourself by that choice ? As soon as you are settled, 
 all the house will be upon the watch ; your most trivial actions will 
 be minutely sifted. You will lead a life of incessant constraint ; 
 you must set yourself off with a counterfeit outside, and affect to 
 entertain a double set of the cardinal virtues in your bosom. You 
 will not have a moment to bestow on pleasure. The everlasting 
 censor of your pupil, your days will pass in teaching grammar and 
 administering saintly reprehension, when he shall savor do any- 
 thing against decorum. After so much labor and confinement, 
 what will be your reward ? If the little gentleman is in a pickle, 
 they will lay all the blame on your bad management, and you will 
 be kicked out of the family, it may be, without your stipend. Do 
 not tell me, then, of a tutor's employment ; it is worse than a cure of 
 souls. But talk as much as you will about a lackey's occupation, 
 that is a sinecure, and pledges you to nothing. Suppose one's 
 master not to be immaculate? A servant of superior genius will 
 flatter his vices, and not unfrequently turn them to account. A
 
 74 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 footman lives at his ease in a good family. After having ate and 
 drunk his fill, he goes to bed peaceably, without troubling himself 
 who pays the bills. 
 
 " I should never have done, my dear fellow," pursued he, " were I 
 to enumerate all the advantages of service. Trust me, Gil Bias; dis- 
 card forever your foolish wish of being a tutor, and follow my ex- 
 ample." " So be it ; but,Fabricio," replied I, "governors like yours 
 are not to be met with every day ; and if resolved to go to service, I 
 should like at least to get a good situation." " Oh ! you are in the 
 right," said he, " and that shall be my concern. I will get you a 
 comfortable place, if it was only to snatch a fine fellow from the 
 jaws of the university." 
 
 The near approach of poverty with which I was threatened, and 
 Fabricio's apparent good case, having more weight with me than 
 his arguments, I determined to wear a livery. On which we sallied 
 forth from the tavern, and my townsman said : " I am going to intro- 
 duce you to a man to whom most of the servants resort when they 
 are on the ramble ; he has eavesdroppers about him to pick up all 
 that passes in families. He knows at once when the servants are 
 going away, and keeps a correct register, not only of vacant places, 
 but of vacant masters, with their good and bad properties. The 
 fellow has been a friar in some convent or other. In short, he it 
 was who got me my place." 
 
 While we were conversing about so singular an office of intelli- 
 gence, the son of Nunez the barber took me into a street which had 
 no thoroughfare. We went into a mean house, where we found a 
 man about fifty writing at a table. We wished him good-day, with 
 quite as much humility as became us ; but, whether it was from 
 natural pride, or that, from a habit of seeing none but lackeys and 
 coachmen, he had got a trick of receiving his company with an easy 
 freedom, without rising from his seat, he just gave a slight nod. 
 He seemed surprised that a young man in embroidered velvet should 
 want a place ; he had rather expected me to have wanted a servant. 
 However, he was not long kept in doubt, since Fabricio said at 
 once : " Signer Arias de Londona, give me leave to introduce one of 
 my best friends. He is a youth of good connections, whom adverse 
 circumstances have reduced to the necessity of going to service. 
 Have the goodness to provide for him handsomely, and you may 
 trust to his gratitude." " Gentlemen," replied Arias, coolly, "this is 
 the way with you all ; before you are settled, you make the finest pro- 
 mises in the world ; but afterwards, Lord help us ! your memories 
 are very short." " The deuce !" replied Fabricio, " why, you do not 
 complain of me? Have I not done the thing genteelly?" "You 
 ought to have done it much better," rejoined Arias : "your place is
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 75 
 
 / 
 
 better than a clerk in a public office, and you paid me as if I had 
 quartered you upon a poor author." Here I interfered, and told 
 Master Arias that, to convince him I was not a shabby fellow, I 
 would make my acknowledgment beforehand ; at the same time 
 taking out two ducats, with an assurance of not stopping there if 
 he got me into a good berth. 
 
 He seemed to like my mode of dealing. " There are," said he, " some 
 very good places vacant. I will give you a list of them, and you 
 shall take your choice." With these words, he put on his spectacles, 
 opened a register on the table, turned over a few of the leaves, and 
 began reading to this effect : " Captain Torbellino wants a footman ; 
 a hasty, hairb rained, humorsome chap; scolds incessantly, swears, 
 kicks his servants, and very often cripples them." " Go on to the 
 next," cried I at this picture ; "such a captain will never do for me." 
 My sprightliness made Arias smile, and he went on with his cata- 
 logue thus : " Donna Menuela de Sandoval, a superannuated dowa- 
 ger, peevish and fantastical, is in want at this very time ; she keeps 
 but one, and him never for four-and-twenty hours. There has been 
 a livery in the house for these ten years, which fits every new 
 comer, whether tall or short. They only just try it on ; so that it 
 is as good as new, though it has had two thousand owners. Doctor 
 Alvar Fanez wants a journeyman ; an eminent member of the 
 faculty ! He boards his family very handsomely, has everything 
 comfortable about him, and gives very high wages ; but he is a 
 little too fond of experiments. When he gets a parcel of bad drugs, 
 which happens very often, there is a pretty quick succession of new 
 servants." 
 
 " Oh ! I do not in the least doubt it," interrupted Fabricio with a 
 horse-laugh. " Upon my word you give a fine character of your cus- 
 tomers." '' Patience," said Arias de Londona ; " we have not yet got 
 to the end : there is variety enough." Thereupon he continued to read 
 on : " Donna Alfonsa de Solis, an old devotee, who lives two-thirds 
 of her time at church, and always keeps her servant at her apron 
 string, has been in want for these three weeks. The Licentiate 
 SSdillo, an old prebendary of the chapter here, turned away hia 
 servant yesterday evening." ..." Halt there, Signor Arias de 
 Londona," cried Fabricio at that passage ; " we will stick to the 
 church. The Licentiate Sedillo is one of my master's friends, and 
 I am very well acquainted with him. I know he has for his house- 
 keeper an old hypocrite, called Dame Jacintha, who is complete 
 mistress of the family. It is one- of the best houses in Valladolid. 
 A very idle life, and plenty of excellent meat and drink. Besides, 
 his reverence is an old, gouty, infirm man, likely soon to make his 
 will ; there is a legacy to be looked after. That is a delightful
 
 76 
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 prospect for one of our cloth ! Gil Bias," added he, turning round 
 to me, " let us lose no time, my friend, but go immediately to the 
 licentiate's house. I will introduce you myself, and give you a 
 character." At these words, for fear of missing such an opportunity, 
 we took a hasty leave of Signor Arias, who assured me, for my 
 money, that if I failed here, he would do something as good for me 
 elsewhere.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 77 
 
 BOOK II. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 FABEICIO INTRODUCES GIL BLAS TO THE LICENTIATE SEDILLO, AND 
 PROCURES HIM A RECEPTION. THE DOMESTIC ECONOMY OF THAT 
 CLERGYMAN. PICTURE OF HIS HOUSEKEEPER. 
 
 WE were so dreadfully afraid of offending against the regular 
 houts of the old licentiate, that we made but a hop, skip, 
 and jump from the street with but one outlet to the prebendal 
 residence. The gates were barred: but we ventured to announce 
 our arrival. A girl of ten years old, the housekeeper's professed 
 niece, and slander could not gainsay the relationship, opened 
 the door to us. As we asked to speak with his reverence, Dame 
 Jacintha made her appearance. She was a lady of ripe person 
 and parts, but by no means past her prime; and I was particu- 
 larly attracted by the clearness of her complexion. She wore a 
 long woollen gown of the most ordinary quality, with a large 
 leathern girdle, whence hung suspended a bunch of keys on one 
 side, and on the other a tremendous string of beads. As soon aa 
 we got a glimpse of her, we made our obeisances with all possible 
 reverence. She returned our salutation with similar good breeding, 
 but with an air of modesty, and eyes communing with the ground. 
 
 " I have been told," said my fellow-servant, " that the reverend the 
 Licentiate Sedillo wants an honest lad, and I have one at his ser- 
 vice with whom he will be well satisfied." The superintendent of 
 the household turned up her eyes at these words, with a significant 
 side glance at me ; and, finding it difficult to reconcile my laced 
 jacket with Fabricio's exordium, asked if it was this fine gentleman 
 who was come after the place. " Yes," said the son of Nunez, " it is 
 this interesting and engaging youth. Just as you see him, the ups 
 and downs of this transitory life have compelled him to wear an 
 epaulet ; but fate will have made him ample amends," added he, with 
 an affected languish, " if he is so happy as to be an inmate here, and 
 to profit by the society of the virtuous Jacintha. The patriarch of 
 the Indies might have sighed for the virtuous Jacintha at the head 
 of his establishment." At these words, this withered branch of piety 
 withdrew her penetrating regards from me, to contemplate this cour- 
 teous spokesman. Struck with certain lines which were not new to 
 her in his face, " I have some floating idea of having seen you before,"
 
 78 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 said she; " but my memory wants a lift." "Holy Jacintha," replied 
 Fabricio, " it is enough for me to have been blessed with your pious 
 notice. Twice have I been under this venerable roof with my 
 master, Signor Manuel Ordonnez, governor of the hospital." " Ah ! 
 just so," answered the lady chamberlain, " I recollect ! You are an 
 old acquaintance. Welladay now ! Your very belonging to Signor 
 Ordonnez is enough to prove you a youth of merit and strict pro- 
 priety. A servant is known by his place, and this lad could not 
 have a better sponsor. Come along with me; I will introduce you 
 to Signor S6dillo. I am sure he will be glad to engage a lad at 
 your recommendation." 
 
 We followed Dame Jacintha. The canon lived in the lower part 
 of the house, in a comfortable suite of wainscoted apartments. 
 She begged us to wait a moment in the ante-chamber, white she 
 went into the licentiate's room. After some private parley with 
 him, merely that he might know what he was about, she came to 
 tell us we might walk in. We kenned the old cripple, immersed in 
 an elbow chair, with a pillow under his head, cushions under his 
 arnu-t, and his legs supported on a large stool, stuffed with down. 
 We were no niggards of our bows as we advanced ; and Fabricio, 
 still taking the lead, not only repeated over again what he had said 
 to the housekeeper, but set about extolling my merit, and expatiated 
 in an especial manner on the honors I had gained in the schools 
 under Doctor Godinez on all metaphysical questions : as if it was 
 necessary for a prebendary's footman to be as learned as his master. 
 However that might be, it served as a tub to the whale. Besides, 
 Dame Jacintha did not look forbidding, and my surety received the 
 following answer: "Friend, I receive into my service the lad you 
 recommend. I like him well enough ; and as for his morals, they 
 cannot be much amiss, since he presents himself under the wing of 
 a domestic belonging to Signor Ordonnez." 
 
 As soon as Fabricio saw me safe landed, he made a low bow to 
 the prebendary, a still lower to the lady, and withdrew in high good 
 humor, whispering in my ear that we should meet again, and that I 
 had only to make good my footing. As soon as he had left the 
 room, the licentiate inquired my name, why I had left my native 
 place; and gradually drew me on by his questions to relate my 
 adventures before Dame Jacintha. They were both highly amused, 
 above all by my last rencounter. Camilla and Don Eaphael gave 
 such play to their risible muscles, that I thought old chalkstone 
 would have burst: for, as he laughed with all his might, so violent 
 a cough laid hold of him, as went very near to have carried him off. 
 His will was not made. What an alarm for the housekeeper! 
 Trembling, distracted, off she flew to the good man's succor, and just
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 79 
 
 like a nurse with a puking child, paddled about his forehead and 
 tapped him on the back. Luckily it was a false alarm ; the old 
 gentleman left off coughing, and the housekeeper tormenting him. 
 When it was over, I was for going on with my narrative ; but Dame 
 Jacintha, in awe of a second fit, set herself against it. She there- 
 fore took me with her out of the room to a wardrobe, where among 
 several suits was that of my predecessor. This I was to take> and 
 leave my own in its room, which I was not sorry to see laid up safe, 
 iu the hope it might be of further use. After this we went together 
 to get dinner ready. 
 
 I knew what I was about in the art of dressing meat. Dame 
 Leonarda, with whom I had served my time, might have passed for 
 a very decent plain cook, but a mere turnspit to Dame Jacintha. 
 The latter might almost have borne away the bell from the arch- 
 bishop of Toledo's man. She was mistress of everything ; gravy 
 soups, of the most delicious texture and relish, and, for made 
 dishes, she could season them up or soften them down to the most 
 delicate or voluptuous palate. At dinner-time we returned to his 
 reverence's apartments. While I was arranging the grand concern 
 close by his arm-chair, the lady of all work crammed a napkin 
 under the old boy's chin, and pinned it behind his back. Without 
 losing a moment, in marched I with a stew fit to be set before the 
 first gourmand in Madrid, and two courses to have tickled the gills 
 of a viceroy, only that Dame Jacintha had touched the spice-box 
 with discretion, for fear of exasperating the gout. At the first 
 glimpse of this goodly mess, my old master, whom I conceived to 
 have lost the use of his limbs, made me to understand that his arms 
 were exempted from the interdict. He availed himself of their 
 assistance to get clear of his pillow and cushions, and proceeded 
 gayly to the attack. His hand shook, to be sure, but somehow or 
 other it contrived to do its duty. He sent it backward and for- 
 ward fast enough ; though it brought but half its cargo to the 
 landing-place at a lading ; the table-cloth and napkin took toll. I 
 carried off the soup when he had done, and brought in a partridge 
 flanked by two roast quails, which Dame Jacintha cut up for him. 
 She took care to make him take a good draught of wine, a little 
 lowered at proper intervals, out of a large, deep silver cup, which 
 she held to his mouth, as if he had been an infant. He winged the 
 partridge, and came down slap-dash upon all the rest of the dishes. 
 When he had done cramming, that saint of the saucepan unpinned 
 his napkin, reinstated his pillow and cushions, then, leaving him 
 composed in his arm-chair to the enjoyment of his usual nap after 
 dinner, we took away and demolished the remainder with appetites 
 worthy of our master.
 
 80 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 The dinner of to-day was the ordinary bill of fare. Our canon 
 played the best knife and fork in the chapter. But the supper was 
 a mere bauble : seldom more than a chicken and a little confec- 
 tionery. I larded my inside in this house, and led a good easy 
 life. There was but one awkward circumstance, and that was 
 sitting up with my master, to save the expense of a nurse. Besides 
 a strangury, which kept him on the fidget ten times the hour, he 
 was very much given to perspire, and in that event, I shifted him. 
 " Gil Bias," said he, on the second night, " you are an active, clever 
 fellow ; I foresee that we shall jog on very well together. I only 
 just give you a hint to keep in with Dame Jacintha ; the girl 
 has been about me for these fifteen years, and manages all my little 
 matters ; she comforts my outward man, and I cannot do too much 
 for her. For that reason, you are to know that she is more to me 
 than all my family. There is my nephew, my own sister's son, why, 
 I have turned him out of doors, only to please her. He had no 
 regard for the poor lass, and so far from giving her credit for all 
 her little assiduities, the saucy rascal swore she did not care a 
 farthing for me ! But nowadays, young people think virtue and 
 gratitude all a farce. Heaven be praised, I am rid of the varlet. 
 What claim has blood in comparison with unquestionable attach- 
 ment? I am influenced by a give-and-take principle in my connec- 
 tions." "You are right, sir," replied I; "gratitude ought to be the 
 first thing, and natural affection the last." " Ay I" resumed he ; " and 
 my will shall be a comment on that text. My housekeeper shall be 
 residuary legatee ; and you shall have a corner in a codicil, if you 
 go on as well as you have begun. The footman I turned off yesterday 
 has lost a good legacy, by not knowing where to hit the right nail 
 on the head. If the blockhead had not obliged me, by his ill 
 behavior, to send him packing, I would have made a man of him ; 
 but the beggar on horseback gave himself airs to Dame Jacintha. 
 Then master lazy-bones did not like sitting up ! I might pass the 
 night as I could, provided he had no trouble with me." " Oh, the 
 unfeeling scoundrel !" exclaimed I, in the true spirit of Fabricio, 
 " he was not a man to be about so good a master. The lad for your 
 money should be a humble but confidential friend : he should not 
 make a toil of what ought to be a pleasure, but think nothing of 
 going through fire and water for your ease." 
 
 These professions were not lost upon the licentiate. Neither 
 were my assurances of due submission to Dame Jacintha's 
 authority less acceptable. Puffing myself off for a servant who 
 was not afraid of work, I got through my business as cheerfully as 
 I could. I never complained of my nursery though to be sure it 
 was irksome enough ; and if the legacy had not settled my stomach,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 81 
 
 I should have sickened at the nature of my employment. It is true 
 I got some hours' rest during the day. The housekeeper, to do her 
 justice, was kind enough to me, owing to the insinuating manner 
 in which I wormed myself into her good graces. Suppose me at 
 table, with her and her niece Inesilla! I changed their plates, 
 filled their glasses, never thought of my own dinner before they had 
 everything they wanted. This was the way to thrive in their 
 esteem. One day when Dame Jacintha was gone to market, find- 
 ing myself alone with Inesilla, I began to make myself agreeable. 
 "Were her father and mother alive?" "0! no," answered she; 
 " they have been dead this long time ; for my good aunt says they 
 have, and I have never seen them." I religiously believed the little 
 innocent, though her answer was not of the clearest ; and she got 
 into such a humor of talking, as to tell me more than I wanted to 
 know. She informed me, or rather I inferred it from her artless 
 simplicity, that her good aunt had a' good friend, who lived likewise 
 with an old canon. The temporalities of the church were under his 
 administration ? and these lucky domestics reckoned upon entwining 
 the spoils of their masters round the pillars of the hymeneal temple, 
 into whose sanctuary they had penetrated by anticipation. Dame 
 Jacintha, as I have said before, though a little stricken in years, 
 had still some bloom. To be sure, she spared no pains to cherish 
 it ; besides daily evacuations, she took plentiful doses of all-powerful 
 jelly. She got her sleep in the night too, while I sat up with my 
 master. But what perhaps contributed most to the freshness of this 
 everlasting flower, was an issue in each leg, of which I should have 
 never known but for that blab Inesilla. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE CANON'S ILLNESS; HIS TREATMENT; THE CONSEQUENCE; THE 
 LEGACY TO GIL BLAS. 
 
 I STAYED three months- with the Licentiate Sedillo, without 
 complaining of bad nights. At the end of that time he fell sick. 
 The distemper was a fever, and it inflamed the gout. For the 
 first time in his life, which had been long, he called in a phyiscian. 
 Doctor Sangrado was sent for the Hippocrates of Valladolid. 
 Dame Jacintha was for sending for the lawyer first, and touched 
 that string ; but the patient thought it was time enough, and had 
 6
 
 82 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 a little will of his own upon some points. Away I went after 
 Doctor Sangrado, and brought him with me. A tall, withered, wan 
 executioner of the sisters three, who had done all their justice for 
 at least these forty years, this learned forerunner of the under- 
 taker had an aspect suited to his office ; his words were weighed to 
 a scruple, and his jargon sounded grand in the ears of the un- 
 initiated. His arguments were mathematical demonstrations, and 
 his opinions had the merit of originality. 
 
 After studying my master's symptoms, he began with medical 
 solemnity. " The question here is, to remedy an^pbstructed perspira- 
 tion. Ordinary practitioners, in this case, would follow the old 
 routine of salines, diuretics, volatile salts, sulphur, and mercury ; 
 but purges and sudorifics are a deadly practice. Chemical prepara- 
 tions are edged tools in the hands of the ignorant. My methods are 
 more simple and more efficacious. What is your usual diet?" " I live 
 pretty much upon soups," replied the canon, " and eat my meat with 
 a good deal of gravy." " Soups and gravy !" exclaimed the petrified 
 doctor. " Upon my word, it is no wonder you are ill. High living 
 is a poisoned bait a trap set by sensuality to cut short the days of 
 wretched man. We must have done with pampering our appetites ; 
 the more insipid, the more wholesome. The human blood is not a 
 gravy ! Why, then, you must give it such a nourishment as will 
 assimilate with the particle of which it is composed. You drink 
 wine, I warrant you?" "Yes," said the licentiate, "butdiluted." "O! 
 finely diluted, I daresay," rejoined the physician. " This is licentious- 
 ness with a vengeance ! A frightful course of feeding ! Why, you 
 ought to have died years ago. How old are you ?" " I am in my 
 sixty-ninth year," replied the canon. " So I thought," quoth the prac- 
 titioner ; " a premature old age is always the consequence of intem- 
 perance. If you had only drunk clear water all your life, and had 
 been contented with plain food, boiled apples, for instance, you 
 would not have been a martyr to the gout, and your limbs would 
 have performed their functions with lubricity. But I do not 
 despair of setting you on your legs again, provided you give your- 
 self up to my management." The licentiate promised to be upon his 
 good behavior. 
 
 Sangrado then sent me for a surgeon of his own choosing, and 
 took from him six good porringers of blood, by way of a beginning, 
 to remedy this obstinate obstruction. He then said to the surgeon : 
 " Master Martin Onez, you will take as much more three hou'rs hence, 
 and to-morrow you will repeat the operation. It is a mere vulgar 
 error that the blood is of any use to the system ; the faster you draw 
 it off", the better. A patient has nothing to do but to keep himself 
 quiet ; with him, to live is merely not to die ; he has no more occa-
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 83 
 
 sion for blood than a man in a trance ; in both cases, life consists 
 exclusively in pulsation and respiration." When the doctor had 
 ordered these frequent and copious bleedings, he added a drench of 
 warm water at very short intervals, maintaining that water in suffi- 
 cient quantities was the grand secret of materia medica. He then 
 took his leave, telling Dame Jacintha and me, with an air of con- 
 fidence, that he would answer for the patient's life if his system was 
 fairly pursued. The housekeeper, though protesting secretly against 
 this new practice, bowed to his superior authority. In fact, we set 
 on the kettles in a hurry; and, as the physician had desired us 
 above all things to give him enough, we began with pouring down 
 two or three pints at as many gulps. An hour after, we beset him 
 again ; then, returning to the attack time after time, we fairly 
 poured a deluge into his poor stomach. The surgeon, on the other 
 hand, taking out the blood as we poured in the water, we reduced 
 the old canon to death's door in less than two days. 
 
 This venerable ecclesiastic, able to hold it out no longer, as I 
 pledged him in a large glass of his new cordial, said to me in a faint 
 voice : " Hold, Gil Bias, do not give me any more, my friend. It is 
 plain Death will come when he will come, in spite of water; and 
 though I have hardly a drop of blood in my veins, I am no better 
 for getting rid of the enemy. The ablest physician in the world can 
 do nothing for us when our time is expired. Fetch a notary; I 
 will make my will." At these last words, pleasing enough to my 
 fancy, I affected to appear unhappy ; and concealing my impatience 
 to be gone : " Sir," said I, " you are not reduced so low, thank God, 
 but you may yet recover." " No, no," interrupted he, " my good 
 fellow, it is all over. I feel the gout shifting, and the hand of death 
 is upon me. Make haste, and go where I told you." I saw, sure 
 enough, that he changed every moment, and the case was so urgent, 
 that I ran as fast as I could, leaving him in Dame Jacintha's care, 
 who was more afraid than myself of his dying without a will. I 
 laid hold of the first notary I could find. "Sir," said I, "tha Licen- 
 tiate Sedillo, my master, is drawing near his end ; he wants to settle 
 his affairs ; there is not a moment to be lost." The notary was a 
 dapper little fellow, who loved his joke, and inquired who was our 
 physician. At the name of Doctor Sangrado, hurrying on his 
 cloak and hat : " For mercy's sake," cried he, " let us set off with all 
 possible speed ; for this doctor despatches business so fast, that oui 
 fraternity cannot keep pace with him. That fellow spoils half my 
 jobs." 
 
 With this sarcasm, he set forward in good earnest, and, as we 
 pushed on, to get the start of the grim tyrant, I said to him : "Sir, you 
 are aware that a dying testator's memory is sometimes a little short j
 
 84 ADVENTURES OF GIL JiLAS. 
 
 should my master chance to forget me, be so good as to put in a 
 word in my favor." " That I will, my lad," replied the little proc- 
 tor ; " you may rely on it. I will urge something handsome, if I 
 have an opportunity." The licentiate, on our arrival, had still all 
 his faculties about him. Dame Jacintha was by his bedside, laying 
 in her tears by wholesale. She had played her game, and bespoken 
 a handsome remembrance. We left the notary alone with my 
 master, and went together into the ante-chamber, where we met the 
 surgeon, sent by the physician for another and last experiment. 
 We laid hold of him. "Stop, Master Martin," said the housekeeper, 
 " you cannot go into Signer S6dillo's room just now. He is giving 
 his last orders ; but you may bleed away when the will is made." 
 
 We were terribly afraid, this pious gentlewoman and I, lest the 
 licentiate should go off with his will half finished ; but by good luck, 
 the important deed was executed. We saw the proctor come out, who 
 finding me on the watch, slapped me on the shoulder, and said with 
 a simper, "Gil Bias is not forgotten." At these words I felt the 
 most lively joy; and was so well pleased with my master for his 
 kind notice, that I promised myself the pleasure of praying for his 
 soul after deajh, which event happened anon ; for the surgeon 
 having bled him once more, the poor old man, quite exhausted, 
 gave up the ghost under the lancet. Just as he was breathing his 
 last, the physician made his appearance, and looked a little foolish, 
 notwithstanding the universality of his deathbed experience. Yet, 
 far from imputing the accident to the new practice, he walked off, 
 affirming with intrepidity that it was owing to their having been 
 too lenient with the lancet, and too chary of their warm water. 
 The medical executioner, I mean the surgeon, seeing that his 
 functions also were at an end, followed Doctor Sangrado. 
 
 As soon as he saw the breath out of our patron's body, Dame 
 Jacintha, InSsilla, and myself joined in a decent chorus of funeral 
 lamentation, loud enough to produce a proper effect in the neigh- 
 borhood. The emblem of a life to come, though she had more 
 reason than any of us to rejoice, took the soprano part, and 
 screamed out her afflictions in a most pathetic manner. The room 
 in an instant was crowded with people, attracted less by compassion 
 than curiosity. The relations of the deceased no sooner got wind of 
 his departure, than they pounced down upon the premises and 
 sealed up everything. From the housekeeper's distress, they 
 thought there was no will; but they soon found their mistake, and 
 that there was one without a flaw. When it was opened, and they 
 learned the disposition of the testator's principal property, in favor 
 of Dame Jacintha and the little girl, they pronounced his funeral 
 oration in terms not a little disparaging to his memory. They gave
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 85 
 
 a broad apostrophe at the same time to the godly legatee, and a 
 few blessings to me in my turn. It must be owned I had earned 
 them. The licentiate, Heaven reward him for it, to secure my 
 remembrances through life, expressed himself thus in a paragraph 
 of his will : " Item, as Gil Bias has already some little smattering 
 of literature, to encourage his studious habits, I give and bequeath 
 to him my library, all my books and my manuscripts, without any 
 drawback or exception." 
 
 I could not conceive where this said library might be; I had 
 never seen any. I only knew of some papers, with five or six 
 bound books, on two little deal shelves in my master's closet ; and 
 that was my legacy. The books could be of no great use to me; the 
 title of one was, The Complete Man Cook ; another, A Treatise on 
 Indigestion, with the Methods of Cure ; the rest were the four parts 
 of the breviary, half eaten up by worms. In the article of manu- 
 scripts, the most curious consisted of documents relating to a lawsuit 
 in which the prebendary was once engaged for his stall. After 
 having examined my legacy with more minuteness than it deserved, 
 I made over my right and title to these invidious relations. I even 
 renounced my livery, and took back my own suit, claiming my 
 wages as my only reward. I then went to look out for another 
 place. As for Dame Jacintha, besides her residue under the will, 
 she had .some snug little articles, which by the help of her good 
 friend she had appropriated to her own use during the last illness 
 of the licentiate. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 GIL BLAS ENTEBS INTO DOCTOR SANGBADO'S SEBVICE, AND BECOMES A 
 FAMOUS PRACTITIONER. 
 
 T DETERMINED to throw myself in the way of Signer Arias de 
 JL Londona, and to look out for a new berth in his register ; but as 
 I was on my way to No Thoroughfare, who should come across me 
 but Doctor Sangrado, whom I had not seen since the day of my 
 master's death. I took the liberty of touching my hat. He recog- 
 nized me in a twinkling, though I had changed my dress ; and with 
 as much warmth as his temperament would allow him : " Heyday !" 
 said he, " the very lad I wanted to see ; you have never been out of 
 my thoughts. I have occasion for a clever fellow about me, and 
 pitched upon you as the very thing, if you can read and write."
 
 86 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 "Sir," replied I, "if that is all you require, I am your man." "In 
 that case," rejoined he, " we need look no further. Come home 
 with me; it will be all comfort; I shall behave to you like a brother. 
 You will have no wages, but everything will be found you. You 
 shall eat and drink according to the true faith, and be taught to 
 cure all diseases. In a word, you shall rather be my young San- 
 grado than my footman." 
 
 I closed in with the doctor's proposal, in the hope of becoming an 
 Esculapius under so inspired a master. He carried me home on 
 the spur of the occasion, to install me in my honorable employ- 
 ment, which honorable employment consisted in writing down the 
 name and residence of the patients who sent for him in his absence. 
 There had indeed been a register for this purpose, kept by an old 
 domestic; but she had not the gift of spelling accurately, and wrote 
 a most perplexing hand. This account I was to keep. It might 
 truly be called a bill of mortality, for my members all went from 
 bad to worse during the short time they continued in this system. 
 I was a sort of bookkeeper for the other world, to take places in the 
 stage, and to see that the first come were the first served. My pen 
 was always in my hand, for Doctor Sangrado had more practice 
 than any physician of his time in Valladolid. He had got into 
 reputation with the public by a certain professional slang, humored 
 by a medical face, and some extraordinary cases, more honored by 
 implicit faith than scrupulous investigation. 
 
 He was in no want of patients, nor consequently of property. He 
 did not keep the best house in the world ; we lived with some little 
 attention to economy. The usual bill of fare consisted of peas, 
 beans, boiled apples or cheese. He considered this food as best 
 suited to the human stomach, that is to say, as most amenable to 
 the grinders, whence it was to encounter the process of digestion. 
 Nevertheless, easy as was their passage, he was not for stopping the 
 way with too much of them ; and, to be sure, he was in the right. 
 But though he cautioned the maid and me against repletion in 
 respect of solids, it was made up by free permission to drink as 
 much water as we liked. Far from prescribing us any limits there, 
 he would tell us sometimes : " Drink, my children ; health consists 
 in the pliability and moisture of the parts. Drink water by pail- 
 fuls it is a universal dissolvent ; water liquefies all the salts. Is the 
 course of the blood a little sluggish? this grand principle sets it 
 forward; too rapid? its career is checked." Our doctor was so 
 orthodox on this head, that he drank nothing himself but water, 
 though advanced in years. He defined old age to be a natural con- 
 sumption which dries us up and wastes us away ; on this principle, 
 he deplored the ignorance of those who call wine old men's milk.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 87 
 
 He maintained that wine wears them out and corrodes them, and 
 pleaded with all the force of eloquence against that liquor, fatal in 
 common both to the young and old, that friend with a serpent in its 
 bosom, that pleasure with a dagger under its girdle. 
 
 In spite of these fine arguments, at the end of a week, a looseness 
 ensued, with some twinges, which I was blasphemous enough to 
 saddle on the universal dissolvent and the new-fashioned diet. I 
 stated my symptoms to my master, in the hope he would relax the 
 rigor of his regimen, and qualify my meals with a little wine ; but 
 his hostility to that liquor was inflexible. " If you have not philos- 
 ophy enough," said he, " for pure water, there are innocent infusions 
 to strengthen the stomach against the nausea of aqueous quaflings. 
 Sage, for example, has a very pretty flavor; and if you wish to 
 heighten it into a debauch, it is only mixing rosemary, wild poppy, 
 and other simples, but no compounds." 
 
 In vain did he crack off his water, and teach me the secret of 
 composing delicious messes. I was so abstemious, that, remarking 
 my moderation, he said : " In good sooth, Gil Bias, I marvel not 
 that you are no better than you are ; you do not drink enough, my 
 friend. Water taken in a small quantity serves only to separate 
 the particles of bile and set them in action ; but our practice is to 
 drown them in a copious drench. Fear not, my good lad, lest a 
 superabundance of liquid should either weaken or chill your 
 stomach ; far from thy better judgment be that silly fear of un- 
 adulterated drink. I will insure you against all consequences ; and 
 if my authority will not serve your turn, read Celsus. That oracle 
 of the ancients makes an admirable panegyric on water ; in short, 
 he says in plain terms that those who plead an inconstant stomach 
 in favor of wine, publish a libel on their own bowels, and make their 
 organization a pretence for their sensuality." 
 
 As it would have been ungenteel in me to have run riot on my 
 entrance in the career of practice, I affected thorough conviction, 
 indeed I thought there was something in it. I therefore went on 
 drinking water on the authority of Celsus, or, to speak in scientific 
 terms, I began to drown the bile in copious drenches of that un- 
 adulterated li.quor ; and though I felt myself more out of order from 
 day to day, prejudice won the cause against experience. It is 
 evident, therefore, that I was in the right road to the practice of 
 physic. Yet I could not always be insensible to the qualms which 
 increased in my frame, to that degree, as to determine me on 
 quitting Doctor Sangrado. But he invested me with a new office 
 which changed my tone. "Hark you, my child," said he to me 
 one day, " I am not one of those hard and ungrateful masters who 
 leave their household to grow gray in service without a suitable
 
 88 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 reward. I am well pleased with you, I have a regard for you, and 
 without waiting till you have served your time, I will make your 
 fortune. Without more ado, I will initiate you in the healing art, 
 of which I have for so many years been at the head. Other physi- 
 cians make the science to consist of various unintelligible branches ; 
 but I will shorten the road for you, and dispense with the drudgery 
 of studying natural philosophy, pharmacy, botany, and anatomy. 
 Remember, my friend, that bleeding and drinking warm water are 
 the two grand principles the true secret of curing all the distempers 
 incident to humanity. Yes, this marvellous secret which I reveal 
 to you, and which Nature, beyond the reach of my colleagues, has 
 failed in rescuing from my pen, is comprehended in these two 
 articles, namely, bleeding and drenching. Here you have the sum 
 total of my philosophy ; you are thoroughly bottomed in medicine, 
 .and may raise yourself to the summit of fame on the shoulders of 
 my long experience. You may enter into partnership at once, by 
 keeping the books in the morning, and going out to visit patients 
 in the afternoon. While I dose the nobility and clergy, you shall 
 labor in your vocation among the lower orders; and when you 
 have felt your ground a little, I will get you admitted into our 
 body. You are a philosopher, Gil Bias, though you have never 
 graduated ; the common herd of them, though they have graduated 
 in due form and order, are likely to run out the length of their 
 tether without knowing their right hand from their left." 
 
 I thanked the doctor for having so speedily enabled me to serve 
 as his deputy; and by way of acknowledging his goodness, pro- 
 mised to follow his system to the end of my career, with a mag- 
 nanimous indifference about the aphorisms of Hippocrates. But that 
 engagement was not to be taken to the letter. This tender attach- 
 ment to water went against the grain, and I had a scheme for drinking 
 wine every day snugly among the patients. I left off wearing my 
 own suit a second time, to take up one of my master's, and look 
 like an inveterate practitioner; after which I brought my medical 
 theories into play, leaving them to look to the event whom it might 
 concern. I began on an alguazil in a pleurisy ; he was condemned 
 to be bled with the utmost rigor of the law, at the same time that 
 the system was to be replenished copiously with water. Next I 
 made a lodgment in the veins of a gouty pastry-cook, who roared 
 like a lion by reason of gouty spasms. I stood on no more ceremony 
 with his blood than with that of the alguazil, and laid no restric- 
 tion on his taste for simple liquids. My prescriptions brought me 
 in twelve rials, an incident so auspicious in my professional career, 
 that I only wished for the plagues of Egypt on all the hale subjects 
 of Valladolid. As I was coming out of the pastry-cook's, whom
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 89 
 
 should I meet but Fabricio, a total stranger since the death of the 
 licentiate Sedillo ! He looked at me with astonishment for some 
 seconds ; then set up a laugh with all his might, and held his sides. 
 He had no reason to be gr'ave, for I had a cloak trailing on the 
 ground, with a doublet and breeches of four times my natural 
 dimensions. I was certainly a complete original. I suffered him 
 to make merry as long as he liked, and could scarcely help joining 
 in the ridicule ; but I kept a guard on my muscles to preserve a 
 becoming dignity in public, and the better to enact the physician, 
 whose part in society is not that of a buffoon. If the absurdity of 
 my appearance excited Fabricio's merriment, my affected gravity 
 added zest to it ; and when he had nearly exhausted his lungs, " By 
 all the powers, Gil Bias," quoth he, " thou art in complete mas- 
 querade. Who the devil has dressed you up in this manner?" 
 " Fairly and softly, my friend," replied I, " fairly and softly ; be a 
 little on your good behavior with a modern Hippocrates. Under- 
 stand me to be the substitute of Doctor Sangrado, the most eminent 
 physician in Valladolid. I have lived with him these three weeks. 
 He has bottomed me thoroughly in medicine ; and as he cannot 
 perform the obsequies of all the patients who send for him, I visit a 
 part of them to take the burden off his conscience. He does execu- 
 tion in great families, I among the vulgar." " Vastly well," replied 
 Fabricio ; " that is to say. he grants you a lease on the blood of the 
 commonalty, but keeps to himself the fee-simple of the fashionable 
 world. I wish you joy of your lot ; it is a pleasanter line of prac- 
 tice among the populace than among great folk. Long live a snug 
 connection in the suburbs ! A man's mistakes are easily buried, and 
 his murders elude all but God's revenge. Yes, my brave boy, your 
 destiny is truly enviable ; in the language of Alexander, were I 
 not Fabricio, I could wish to be Gil Bias." 
 
 To show the son of Nunez, the barber, that he was not much out 
 in his reckoning on my present happiness, I chinked the fees of the 
 alguazil and the pastry-cook ; and this was followed by an adjourn- 
 ment to a tavern, to drink to their perfect recovery. The wine was 
 very fair, and my impatience for the well-known smack made me 
 think it better than it was. I took some good long draughts, and 
 without gainsaying the Latin oracle, in proportion as I poured it 
 into its natural reservoir, I felt my accommodating entrails to owe 
 me no grudge for the hard service into which I pressed them. As 
 for Fabricio and myself, we sat some time in the tavern, making 
 merry at the expense of our masters, as servants are too much ac- 
 customed to do. At last, seeing the night approach, we parted, after 
 engaging to meet at the same place on the following day after 
 dinner.
 
 90 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 GIL BLAS GOES ON PRACTICING PHYSIC WITH EQUAL SUCCESS AND 
 ABILITY. ADVENTURE OF THE RECOVERED RING. 
 
 I WAS no sooner at home than Doctor Sangrado came in. 1 
 talked to him about the patients I had seen, and paid into his 
 hands eight remaining rials of the twelve I had received for my 
 prescriptions. "Eight rials!" said he, as he counted them; "mighty 
 little for two visits I But we must take things as we find them." 
 In the spirit of taking things as he found them, he laid violent 
 hands on six, giving me the other two. "Here, Gil Bias," continued 
 he, " see what a foundation to build upon. I make over to you the 
 fourth of all you may bring me. You will soon feather your nest, 
 my friend ; for, by the blessing of Providence, there will be a great 
 deal of ill health this year." 
 
 I had reason to be content with my dividend, since, having de- 
 termined to keep back the third part of what I received in my 
 rounds, and afterwards touching another fourth of the remainder, 
 half of the whole, if the arithmetic is anything more than a decep- 
 tion, would become my perquisite. This inspired me with new ze?l 
 for my profession. The next day, as soon as I had dined, I resumed 
 my medical paraphernalia, and took the field once more. I visited 
 several patients on the list, and treated their several complaints in 
 one invariable routine. Hitherto things went on under the rose, and 
 no individual, thank Heaven, had risen up in rebellion against my 
 prescriptions. But let a physician's cures be as extraordinary as 
 they will, some quack or other is always ready to rip up his reputa- 
 tion. I was called in to a grocer's son in a dropsy. Whom should 
 I find there before me but a little black-looking physician, by name 
 Doctor Cuchillo, introduced by a relation of the family. I bowed 
 round most profoundly, but dipped lowest to the personage whom I 
 took to have been invited to a consultation with me. He returned 
 my compliment with a distant air ; then, having stared me in the 
 face for a few seconds, "Signer Doctor," said he, "I beg pardon 
 for being inquisitive ; I thought I had been acquainted with all my 
 brethren in Valladolid, but I confess your physiognomy is altogether 
 new. You must have been settled but a short time in town." I 
 avowed myself a young practitioner, acting as yet under the direc- 
 tion of Doctor Sangrado. " I wish you joy," replied he, politely ; 
 " you are studying under a great man. You must doubtless have 
 seen a vast deal of sound practice, young as you appear to be." He 
 spoke this with so easy an assurance, that I was at a loss whether
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 91 
 
 he meant it seriously, or was laughing at me. While I was conning 
 over my reply, the grocer, seizing on the opportunity, said, " Gen- 
 tlemen, I am persuaded of your both being perfectly competent in 
 your art ; have the goodness without ado to take the case in hand, 
 and devise some effectual means for the restoration of my son's 
 health." 
 
 Thereupon the little pulse-counter set himself about reviewing 
 the patient's situation ; and after having dilated to me on all the 
 symptoms, asked me what I thought the fittest method of treatment. 
 " I am of opinion," replied I, " that he should be bled once a day, 
 and drink as much warm water as he can swallow." At these 
 words, our diminittive doctor said to me, with a malicious simper, 
 "And so you think such a course will save the patient?" "Never 
 doubt it," exclaimed I, in a confident tone; "it must produce that 
 effect, because it is a certain method of cure for all distempers. 
 Ask Signor Sangrado." " At that rate," retorted he, " Celsus is 
 altogether in the wrong, for he contends that the readiest way to 
 cure a dropsical subject is to let him almost die of hunger and 
 thirst." " Oh 1 as for Celsus," interrupted I, " he is no oracle of 
 mine as fallible as the meanest of us ; I often have occasion to bless 
 myself for going contrary to his dogmas." "I discover by your 
 language," said Cuchillo, "the safe and sure method of practice 
 Doctor Saugrado instills into his pupils. Bleeding and drenching 
 are the extent of his resources. No wonder so many .worthy people 
 are cut off under his direction." . . . "No defamation !" inter- 
 rupted I, with some acrimony ; ; ' a member of the faculty had better 
 not begin throwing stones." " Come, come, my learned doctor, 
 patients can get to the other world without bleeding and warm 
 water; and I question whether the most deadly of us has ever 
 signed more passports than yourself." " If you have any crow to 
 pluck with Signor Sangrado, write against him,' he will answer you, 
 and we shall soon see who will have the best of the battle." " By 
 all the saints in the calendar !" swore he, in a transport of passion, 
 " you little know whom you are talking to. I have a tongue and a 
 fist, my friend, and am not afraid of Sangrado, who, with all his 
 arrogance and affectation, is but a ninny." The size of the little 
 death-dealer made me hold his anger cheap. I gave him a sharp 
 retort ; he sent back as good as I brought, till at last we came to 
 cuffs. We had pulled a few handfuls of hair from each other's 
 heads before the grocer and his kinsman could part us. When 
 they had brought this about, they paid me for my attendance, and 
 retained my antagonist, whom they thought the more skillful of the 
 two. 
 
 Another adventure succeeded close on the heels of this. I went to
 
 92 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 see a huge chanter in a fever. As soon as he heard me talk of warm 
 water, he showed himself so averse to this specific, as to fall into a 
 fit of swearing. He abused me in all possible shapes, and threatened 
 to throw me out at the window. I was in a greater hurry to get out of 
 his house than to get in. I did not choose to see any more patients 
 that day, and repaired to the inn where I had agreed to meet Fab- 
 ricio. He was there first. As we found ourselves in a tippling 
 humor, we drank hard, and returned to our employers in a pretty 
 pickle,' that is to say, so-so in the upper story. Signer Sangrado 
 was not aware of my being drunk, because he took the lively ges- 
 tures which accompanied the relation of my quarrel with the little 
 doctor for an effect of the agitation not yet subsided after the 
 battle. Besides, he came in for his share in my report ; and feeling 
 himself nettled by Cuchillo, " You have done well, Gil Bias," said 
 he, " to defend the character of our practice against this little abor- 
 tion of the faculty. So he takes upon him to set his face against 
 watery drenches in dropsical cases ? An ignorant fellow ! I main- 
 tain, I do, in my own person, that the use of them may be re- 
 conciled to the best theories. Yes, water is a cure for all sorts of 
 dropsies, just as it is good for rheumatism and the green sickness. 
 It is excellent, too, in those fevers where the effect is at once to 
 parch and to chill, and even miraculous in those disorders ascribed 
 to cold, thin, phlegmatic, and pituitous humors. This opinion may 
 appear strange to young practitioners like Cuchillo, but it is right 
 orthodox in the best and soundest systems: so that if persons of 
 that description were capable of taking a philosophical view, instead 
 of crying me down, they would become my most zealous advocates." 
 
 In his rage, he never suspected me of drinking : for, to exasperate 
 him still more against the little doctor, I had thrown into my recital 
 some circumstances of my own addition. Yet, engrossed as he was 
 by what I had told him, he could not help taking notice that I drank 
 more water than usual that evening. 
 
 In fact, the wine had made me very thirsty. Any one but San- 
 grado would have distrusted my being so very dry as to swallow 
 down glass after glass ; but as for him, he took it for granted, in the 
 simplicity of his heart, that I began to acquire a relish for aqueous 
 potations. " Apparently, Gil Bias," said he, with a gracious smile, 
 "you have no longer such a dislike to water. As Heaven is my 
 judge ! you quaff it off like nectar. It is no wonder, my friend ; I 
 was certain you would take a liking to that liquor." " Sir," replied 
 I, "there is a tide in the affairs of men : with my present lights, I 
 would give all the wine in Valladolid for a pint of water." This 
 answer delighted the doctor, who would not lose so fine an opportu- 
 nity of expatiating on the excellence of water. He undertook to
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 93 
 
 ring the changes once more in its praise, not like a hireling pleader, 
 but as an enthusiast in the cause. " A thousand times," exclaimed 
 he, " a thousand and a thousand times of greater value, as being 
 more innocent than our modern taverns, were those baths of ages 
 past, whither the people went, not shamefully to squander their 
 fortunes and expose their lives by swilling themselves with wine, but 
 assembled there for the decent and economical amusement of drink- 
 ing warm water. It is difficult to admire the patriotic forecast 
 of those ancient politicians, who established places of public resort, 
 where water was dealt out gratis to all comers, and who confined wine 
 to the shops of the apothecaries, that its use might be prohibited, 
 but under the direction of physicians. What a stroke of wisdom 1 
 It is -doubtless to preserve the seeds of that antique frugality, em- 
 blematic of the golden age, that persons are found to this day, like 
 you and me, who drink nothing but water, and are persuaded they 
 possess a prevention or a cure for every ailment, provided our warm 
 water has never boiled ; for I have observed that water when it has 
 boiled is heavier, and sits less easily on the stomach." 
 
 .While he was holding forth thus eloquently, I was in danger 
 more than once of splitting my sides with laughing. But I con- 
 trived to keep my countenance : nay, more, to chime in with the 
 doctor's theory. I found fault with the use of wine, and pitied 
 mankind for having contracted an untoward relish for so pernicious 
 a beverage. Then, finding my thirst not sufficiently allayed, I filled 
 a large goblet with water, and after having swilled it like a horse : 
 "Come, sir," said I to my master, "let us drink plentifully of this 
 beneficial liquor. Let us make those early establishments of dilu- 
 tion you so much regret to live again in your house." He clapped 
 his hands in ecstasy at these words, and preached to me for a whole 
 hour about suffering no liquid but water to pass my lips. To con- 
 firm the habit, I promised to drink a large quantity every evening ; 
 and to keep my word with less violence to my private inclinations, 
 I went to bed with a determined purpose of going to the tavern 
 every day. 
 
 The trouble I had got into at the grocer's did not discourage me 
 from phlebotomizing and prescribing warm water in the usual 
 course. Coming out of a house where I had been visiting a poet in 
 a frenzy, I was accosted in the street by an old woman, who came 
 up and asked me if I was a physician. I said " Yes." " As, that is 
 the case, I entreat you with all humility to go along with me. My 
 niece has been ill since yesterday, and I cannot conceive what is the 
 matter with her." I followed the old lady to her house, where I 
 was shown into a very decent room, occupied by a female who kept 
 her bed. I went near, to consider her case. Her features struck me
 
 94 ADVENTURES OF Oil EL AS. 
 
 from the first, and I discovered, beyond the possibility of a mistake, 
 afu-r having looked at her some little time, the she-adventurer who 
 had played the part of Camilla so adroitly. For her part, she did 
 not seem to recollect me at all, whether from the oppression of her 
 disorder, or from my dress as a physician rendering me not easy to 
 be known again. I took her by the hand, to feel her pulse, and saw 
 my ring upon her finger. I was all in a twitter at the discovery of 
 a valuable on which I had a claim, both in law and equity. Great 
 was my longing to make a snatch at it ; but considering that these 
 fair ones would set up a great scream, and that Don Raphael, or 
 some other defender of injured innocence, might rush in to their 
 rescue, I laid an embargo on my privateering. I thought it best to 
 come by my own in an honest way, and to consult Fabricio about 
 the means. To this last course I stuck. In the meantime the old 
 wotnan urged me to inform her with what disease her niece was 
 troubled. I was not fool enough to own my ignorance ; on the con- 
 trary, I took upon myself as a man of science, and, after my master's 
 example, pronounced solemnly that the disorder accrued to the 
 patient from the defect of natural perspiration ; that consequently 
 she must lose blood as soon as possible, because if we could not 
 open one pore, we always opened another ; and I finished my pre- 
 scription with warm water, to do the thing methodically. 
 
 I shortened my visit as much as possible, and ran to the son of 
 Nunez, whom I met just as he was going out on an errand for his 
 master. I told him my new adventure, and asked his advice about 
 laying an information against Camilla. " Pooh ! Nonsense !" re- 
 plied he; "that would not be the way to get your ring again. Those 
 gentry think restitution double trouble. Call to mind your im- 
 prisonment at Astorga ; your horse, your money, your very clothes, 
 did they not all centre in the hands of justice? We must rather set 
 our wits to work for the recovery of your diamond. I take on myself 
 the charge of inventing some stratagem for that purpose. I will 
 deliberate on it on my way to the hospital, where I have but to say 
 two words from my master to the purveyor. Do you wait for me 
 at our house of call, and do not be on the fret. I will be with you 
 shortly." 
 
 I had waited, however, more than three hours at the appointed 
 place when he arrived. I did not know him again at first. Besides 
 that he had changed his dress and platted his hair, a pair of false 
 whiskers covered half his face. He wore an immense sword, with a 
 hilt of at least three feet in circumference, and marched at the head 
 of five men of as swaggering an air as himself, with bushy whiskers 
 and long rapiers. " Good-day to you ! Signor Gil Bias," said he by 
 way of salutation ; " behold an alguazil upon a new construction, and
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 95 
 
 marshalmen of like materials in these brave fellows my companions. 
 We have only to be shown where the woman lodges who purloined 
 the diamond, and we will obtain restitution, take my word for it." I 
 hugged Fabricio at this discourse, which let me into the plot, and tes- 
 tified loudly my approval of the expedient. I paid my respects also to 
 the masquerading marshalmen. They were three servants and two 
 journeymen barbers of his acquaintance, whom he had engaged to 
 act this farce. I ordered wine to be served round to the detach- 
 ment, and we all went together at nightfall to Camilla's residence. 
 The door was shut, and we knocked. The old woman, taking my 
 companions to be on the scent of justice, and knowing that they 
 would not come into that neighborhood for nothing, was terribly 
 frightened. " Cheer up again, good mother," said Fabricio ; " we are 
 only come here upon a little business, which will soon be settled." 
 At these words we made our entry, and found our way to the sick- 
 chamber, under the guidance of the old dowager, who walked before 
 us, and by favor of a wax taper which she carried in a silver can- 
 dlestick. I took the light, went to the bedside, and, making 
 Camilla take particular notice of my features, " Traitress," said I, 
 " call to mind the too credulous Gil Bias whom you have deceived. 
 Ah ! thou wickedness personified, at last I have caught thee. The 
 corregidor has taken down my deposition, and ordered this alguazil 
 to arrest you. Come, officer," said I to Fabricio, " do your duty." 
 " There is no need," replied he, swelling his voice, " to inflame my 
 severity. The face of that wretch is not new to me : she has long 
 been marked with red letters in my pocket-book. Get up, my prin- 
 cess ; dress your royal person with all possible despatch. I will 
 be your squire, and lodge you in durance vile, if you have no 
 objection." 
 
 At these words Camilla, ill as she was, observing two marshalmen 
 with large whiskers ready to drag her out of bed by main force, sat 
 up of herself, clasped her hands in an attitude of supplication, and, 
 looking at tae ruefully, said, " Signor Gil Bias, have compassion on 
 me ; I call as a witness to my entreaties the chaste mother whose 
 virtues you inherit. Guilty as I am, my misfortunes are greater 
 than my crimes. I will give you back your diamond, so do not be 
 my ruin." Speaking to this effect, she drew my ring from her 
 finger, and gave it me back. But I told her my diamond was not 
 enough, and that she must refund the thousand ducats they had 
 embezzled in the ready-furnished lodging. " Oh ! as for your 
 ducats," replied she, " ask me not about them. That false-hearted 
 deceiver, Don Eaphael, whom I have not seen from that time to 
 this, carried them off the very same night." "O, ho! my little 
 darling," said Fabricio, in his turn, " that will not do ; you had a
 
 96 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 hand in the robbery, whether you went snacks in the profit or no. 
 You will not come off so cheaply. Your having been accessory to 
 Don Raphael's manoeuvres is enough to render you liable to an 
 examination. Your past life is very equivocal, and you must have 
 a good deal upon your conscience. You will have the goodness, if 
 you please, just to step into the town jail, and there unburden your- 
 self by a general confession. This good old lady shall keep you 
 company ; it is strange if she cannot tell a world of curious stories, 
 such as Mr. Corregidor will be delighted to hear." 
 
 At these words the two women brought every engine of pity into 
 play to soften us. They filled the air with cries, complaints, and 
 lamentations. While the old woman on her knees, sometimes 
 to the alguazil and sometimes to his attendants, endeavored to melt 
 their stubborn hearts, Camilla implored me, in the most touching 
 terms, to save her from the hands of justice. I pretended to relent. 
 " Officer," said I to the son of Nunez, "since I have got my diamond, 
 I do not care much about anything else. It would be no pleasure to 
 me to be the means of pain to that poor woman ; I want not the death 
 of a sinner." "Out upon you!" answered he; "you set up for 
 humanity ! You would make a bad tipstaff. I must do my errand. 
 My positive orders are to arrest these virgins of the sun ; his honor 
 the corregidor means to make an example of them." " Nay, for 
 mercy's sake," replied I, " pay some little deference to my wishes, 
 and slacken a little of your severity, on the ground of the present 
 these ladies are on the point of offering to your acceptance." " Oh ! 
 that is another matter," rejoined he ; " that is what you may call a 
 figure of rhetoric suited to all capacities and all occasions. Well, 
 then, let us see : what have they to give me ?" " I have a pearl 
 necklace," said Camilla, "and drop ear-rings of considerable value." 
 "Yes ; but," interrupted he roughly, " if these articles are the pro- 
 duce of the Philippine Isles, I will have none of them." "You 
 may take them in perfect safety," replied she: "I warrant them 
 real." At the same time she made the old woman bring a little 
 box, whence she took out the necklace and ear-rings, which she put 
 within the grasp of this incorruptible minister. Though he was 
 much such a judge of jewelry as myself, he had no. doubt of the 
 drops being real, as well as the pearls. " These trinkets," said he, 
 after having looked at them minutely, " seem to be of good quality 
 and fashion ; and if the silver candlestick is thrown into the bar- 
 gain, I would not answer to my own honesty." " You had better 
 not," said I in my turn to Camilla, "for a trifle reject so moderate 
 and fair a composition." While uttering these words, I returned the 
 taper to the old woman, and handed the candlestick over to Fabricio, 
 who, stopping there because perhaps he espied nothing else that was
 
 AD VENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 97 
 
 portable in the room, said to the two women : " Farewell, my dainty 
 misses : set your hearts at rest ; I will report you to his worship the 
 corregidor as purer than unsmutched snow. We can turn him round 
 our finger, and never tell him the truth except when we are not 
 paid for our lies." 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 SEQUEL OP THE FOREGOING ADVENTURE. GIL BLAS RETIRES FROM 
 PRACTICE, AND FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF VALLADOLID. 
 
 A FTER having thus carried Fabricio's plan into effect, we took 
 JLJL. our leave of Camilla's lodging, hugging ourselves on a suc- 
 cess beyond our expectation : for we had only reckoned on the ring. 
 We carried off without ceremony all we could get besides. Far from 
 making it a point of conscience not to steal from a description of 
 ladies whose names are commonly associated with rogues, we 
 thought to cover some scores of other sins by so meritorious an 
 action. " Gentlemen," said Fabricio, when we were in the street, 
 " my counsel is for returning to our tavern, and devoting the night to 
 a regale. To-morrow we will sell the candlestick, the necklace, the 
 drop ear-rings, and then share the prize-money like brother adven- 
 turers, after which every man shall tramp home again, and make 
 the best excuse he can to his master." His worship the alguazil's 
 idea seemed equally bright and judicious. We returned rank and 
 file to the tavern, some in the pious hope of finding a plausible 
 excuse for having slept .abroad, others in a desperate indifference 
 about being turned out of doors without a character. 
 
 We ordered a good supper to be got ready, and sat down to the 
 table with our physical and mental powers in full vigor. The relish 
 was heightened by a thousand pleasant anecdotes. Fabricio, of all 
 men in the world, having the happy knack of a chairman in a com- 
 pany of jovial spirits, kept the table in a roar. There escaped from 
 him I know not how many charges of true Castilian wit, worth 
 more either in the schools of philosophy or the exchange of com- 
 'merce than the drug of Attic salt. While we were in a full peal of 
 laughter, we were made to laugh on the other side of our mouths by 
 an unforeseen occurrence. There appeared at table a man of no 
 contemptible prowess, followed by two other as ill-looking dogs as 
 ever existed. After these specimens we had three others, and reck- 
 oned up to a dozen, marching in by triplets. They were armed 
 7
 
 98 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS. 
 
 with carbines, swords and bayonets. We could not mistake their 
 office, and were at no loss to guess their business. At first we had a 
 mind to be refractory; but they beset us in an instant, and kept us 
 under, as much by their numbers as by their weapons. " Gentle- 
 men," said the captain commandant, in a jeering strain, " I have 
 been informed by what ingenious artifice you have recovered a ring 
 from the custody of a lady no better than she should be. Undoubt- 
 edly the device was admirable, and well deserves a civic crown ; 
 the patriotism of our police will not be found wanting. Justice, 
 with her lodgings to let for gentry of your description, will not be 
 deficient in her acknowledgments for so brilliant a display of 
 genius." The company to whom this introductory address was 
 directed looked a little sheepish on the occasion. Our countenances 
 fell ; and Camilla had her full revenge. Fabricio, however, though 
 pale and puzzled, made an attempt at a defence. "Sir," said he, 
 " we did it in the innocence of our hearts, and of course we shall be 
 forgiven this not immoral fraud ?" " What the devil !" replied the 
 commandant, in a rage; "do you call this not immoral fraud? 
 Moral or immoral, it may bring you to the gallows. Besides that the 
 power of restitution is too sacred to be assumed by the individual, 
 you have made away with a candlestick, a necklace, and a pair of 
 drop ear-rings : and what is worse, you have committed your ras- 
 calities in the livery of the law. Scoundrels dressing themselves 
 up like the pillars of morality to undermine its very foundation ! 
 I shall wish you much joy if you are condemned to nothing worse 
 than mowing the salt marsh." When we had impressed it on our 
 convictions that the affair was even more serious than our first fears, 
 we threw ourselves on his mercy, and implored him to have pity on 
 our tender years ; but his stubborn heart was relentless. Moreover, 
 he rejected the proposal of relinquishing the necklace, ear-rings, and. 
 candlestick; nay, he was deaf to the rhetoric of my ring: perhaps 
 because I offered it before too many witnesses , in short, he was the 
 most obdurate dog of his kennel. He ordered my companions to be 
 handcuffed, and sent us in a body to the public prison. As we were 
 on our way, one of the marshalmen acquainted me that Camilla's 
 old vixen, suspecting us not to be licensed scouts of justice, had 
 dogged us to the tavern, and having satisfied her doubts, in revenge 
 informed against us to the patrol. 
 
 We were searched in the first instance. Away went the necklace, 
 the ear-rings, and the candlestick. They picked my pocket of my 
 ring, and my ruby of the Philippine Isles, without even sparing the 
 few fees I had received in the forenoon for my prescriptions ; so 
 that it was plain that trade was carried on by the same firm at 
 Valladolid aa at Astorga, and that all these reformers held the same
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 99 
 
 creed. While they rifled me of my trinkets and money, the lord in 
 waiting of the patrol made known our adventure to the inferior 
 agents of legal rapine. The trespass appeared so audacious that the 
 majority voted it capital. A few kind souls were of opinion that we 
 might come off for two hunderd lashes apiece, with a few years on 
 board the galleys. Waiting his worship's sentence, we were locked 
 up in a cell, where we lay upon straw, spread over our stable like a 
 litter for horses. There might we have foddered for an age, and at 
 last have been turned out to grass in the galleys, if on the morrow 
 Signer Manuel Ordonnez had not got wind of our affair, and deter- 
 mined to release Fabricio, which he could not do without making a 
 general jail delivery. He was a man of the first credit in the town ; 
 his interest was exerted for us, and partly by his own influence, and 
 partly by that of his friends, he obtained our enlargement at the end 
 of three days. But the period of delivery is always moulting time 
 with jail birds;, the candlestick, the necklace, the ear-rings, my 
 ring, and the ruby all were left behind. One could not help re- 
 peating those excellent lines of Virgil beginning with Sic vos non 
 vobis. 
 
 As soon as we were at liberty, we returned to our masters. Doctor 
 Sangrado received me kindly. " My poor Gil Bias," said he, " it was 
 but this morning I was acquainted with thy misfortune. I was just 
 setting about an active canvass for thee. We must derive comfort 
 from adversity, my friend, and attach ourselves more than ever to 
 the practice of physic." I affirmed that to be my intention ; and, in 
 truth, I laid about me. Far from wanting employment, it happened 
 by a kind providence, as my master had foretold, to be a very sickly 
 season. The smallpox and a very malignant fever took alternate 
 possession of the town and suburbs. All the physicians in Valla- 
 dolid had their share of business, and we not the least. We saw 
 eight or ten patients a day, so that the kettle was kept on the sim- 
 mer, and the blood in the action of transpiring. But things will 
 happen cross ; they died to a man, either by our fault or their own. 
 If their case was hopeless, we were not to blame ; and if it was not 
 hopeless, they were. Three visits to a patient was the length of our 
 tether. About the second, we sometimes ran foul of the undertaker; 
 or when we had been more fortunate than usual, the patient had 
 got no further than the point of death. As I was but a young phy- 
 sician, not yet hardened to the trade of an assassin, I grieved over 
 the melancholy issue of my own theory and practice. " Sir," said 
 I one evening to Dr. Sangrado, " I call Heaven to witness on the spot 
 that I have never strayed from your. infallible method; and yet I 
 have never saved a patient : one would think that they died out of 
 spite, and were on the other side of the great medical question. This
 
 100 ADVENTURES OF GIL JiLAS. 
 
 very day I came across two of them, going into the country to be 
 buried." " My good lad," replied he, " my experience comes nearly 
 to the same point. It is but seldom I have the pleasure of curing 
 my kind and partial friends. If I had less confidence in my prin- 
 ciples, I should think my prescriptions had set their faces against 
 the work they were intended to perform." " If you will take a hint, 
 sir," replied I, " we had better vary our system. Let us give, by 
 way of experiment, chemical preparations to our patients : the worst 
 they can do is to tread in the steps of our pure dilutions and our 
 phlebotomizing evacuations." "I would willingly give it a trial," re- 
 joined he, " if it were a matter of indifference, but I have published 
 on the practice of bleeding and the use of drenches ; would you have 
 me cut the throat of my own fame as an author?" " Oh, you are in 
 the right," resumed I ; " our enemies must not gain this triumph 
 over us ; they would say that you were out of conceit with your own 
 systems, and would ruin your reputation by inconsistency. Perish 
 the people perish rather our nobility and clergy ! but let us go on 
 in the old path. After all, our brethren of the faculty, with all 
 their tenderness about bleeding, have no patent for longevity any 
 more than ourselves, and we may set off their drugs against our 
 specifics." 
 
 We went on working double tides, and did so much execution, 
 that in less than six weeks we made as many widows and orphans 
 as the siege of Troy. The plague must have got into Valladolid, by 
 the number of funerals. Day after day came some father or other 
 to know what was become of his son, who was last seen in our 
 hands ; or else a stupid fellow of an uncle, who had a foolish han- 
 kering after a deceased nephew. With respect to the nephews and 
 sons, on whose uncles and fathers we had equalized our system of 
 destruction, they thought that least said was soonest mended. Hus- 
 bands were altogether on their good behavior they would not 
 split a hair about the loss of a wife or two. The real sufferers to 
 whose reproaches we were exposed were sometimes quite savage in 
 their grief; without being mealy-mouthed in their expressions, they 
 called us blockheads and assassins. I was concerned at their bad 
 language; but my master, who was up to every circumstance, 
 listened to their abuse with the utmost indifference. Yet I might 
 have grown as callous as himself to popular reproach if Heaven, 
 interposing its shield between the invalids of Valladolid and one of 
 their scourges, had not providentially raised up an incident to dis- 
 gust me with medicine, which from the outset had been disgusted 
 with me. 
 
 The idle fellows about town assembled every day in our neighbor- 
 hood for a game at tennis. Among the number was one of those
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 101 
 
 professed bullies who set up for great dons, and are the complete 
 cocks of the tennis-court. He was a Biscayan, and assumed the title 
 of Don Roderic de Mondragon. His age might be about thirty. His 
 size was somewhat above the common, but he was lean and bony. 
 Besides two sparkling little eyes rolling about in his head, and 
 throwing out defiance against all bystanders, a very broad nose 
 came in between a pair of red whiskers, which turned up like a 
 hook as high as the temples. His phraseology was so rough and 
 uncouth, that the very sound of his voice would throw a quiet man 
 into an ague. This tyrant over both the rackets and the game was 
 lord paramount in all disputes between the players ; and there was 
 no appeal from his decisions, but at the risk of receiving a chal- 
 lenge the next day. Precisely as I have drawn Signor Don Roderic 
 whom the Don in the foreground of his titles could never make a 
 gentleman he was sweet upon the mistress of the tennis-court. She 
 was a woman of forty, in good circumstances, as charming as forty 
 can well be, just entering on the second year of her widowhood. I 
 know not how he made himself agreeable; certainly not by his 
 exterior recommendations, but probably by that within which pass- 
 eth show. However that might be, she took a fancy to him, and 
 began to turn her thoughts towards the holy state of matrimony ; 
 but while that great event was in agitation, for the punishment of 
 her sins she was taken with a malignant fever, and with me for a 
 physician. Had the disorder been ever so slight, my practice would 
 have made a serious job of it. At the expiration of four days, there 
 was not a dry eye in the tennis-court. The mistress joined the out- 
 ward-bound colony of my patients, and her family administered to 
 her effects. Don Roderic, distracted at the loss of his mistress, or 
 rather disappointed of a good establishment, was not satisfied with 
 fretting and fuming at me, but swore he would run me through the 
 body, or even frown me into a nonentity. A good-natured neighbor 
 apprised me of this vow, with a caution to keep at home, for fear of 
 coming across this devil of a fellow. This warning, though taken 
 in good part, was a source of anxiety and apprehension. I was 
 eternally fancying the enraged Biscayan laying siege to the out- 
 works of my citadel. There was no getting a moment's respite from 
 alarm. This circumstance weaned me from the practice of medi- 
 cine, and I thought of nothing but deliverance from my horrors. 
 On went my embroidered suit once more. Taking leave of my 
 master, who did all he could to detain me, I got out of town with 
 the dawn, not heedless of that terrible Don Roderic, who might 
 waylay me on the road.
 
 102 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 HIS ROUTE FROM VALLADOLID, WITH A DESCRIPTION OF HIS 
 FELLOW-TRAVELLER. 
 
 I TRUDGED on at a great rate, and looked behind from time to 
 time, to see if that dreadful Biscayan was not following me. 
 My imagination was so engrossed by the fellow, that he haunted me 
 in every tree and bush; my heart was in my mouth for fear at 
 every footfall. But I took courage again at the distance of about a 
 league, and went on more gently towards Madrid, whither I pro- 
 posed directing my steps. I had no attachmeut to Valladolid. All 
 my regret was at tearing myself from Fabricio, my dear Pylades, of 
 whom I had not so much as taken my leave. It was no grievance to 
 give up physic; on the contrary, I prayed to Heaven to forgive me 
 for having tampered with it. Yet I did not count over the contents 
 of my purse with less pleasure because they were the wages of mur- 
 der. In this I took after those ladies who retire with a fortune to 
 lead pious lives, and think it hard if they may not fatten religiously 
 on the hard earnings of their libertine profession. I had in rials 
 somewhere about the value of five ducats, and this was the sum 
 total of my property. With these I designed repairing to Madrid, 
 where I had no doubt of finding a good service. Besides, I wished 
 above all things to be in that magnificent city, the boasted epitome 
 of the world and all its wonders. 
 
 When I was recollecting what I had heard of it, and enjoying 
 beforehand the pleasures it affords, I heard the voice of a man 
 coming after me, and singing till he had scraped his throat. He had 
 a wallet on his back, a guitar suspended from his neck, and a long 
 sword by his side. He got on at such a rate as soon to overtake me. 
 Who should it be but one of the two journeymen barbers with whom 
 I had been in jail for the adventure of the ring. We knew one 
 another at once, though we had shifted our dresses, and were in a 
 thousand marvels at meeting so unexpectedly on the highway. If I 
 testified my delight at having such a fellow-traveller, he seemed on 
 his side to feel an excess of rapture at the renewal of our acquaint- 
 ance. I told him why I .had left Valladolid, and he trusted his own 
 secret to me in return, by stating that he had had a little brush with 
 his master, on which they had taken an everlasting leave of each 
 other. "Had it been my pleasure," continued he, "to have taken 
 up my abode longer in Valladolid, ten shops would have taken me 
 in for one that would have turned me out, since, vanity apart, I may 
 safely say there is not a barber in all Spain better qualified to shave
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 103 
 
 all sorts of beards, with the grain or against the grain, and to curl a 
 pair of whiskers. But I could no longer fight against a hankering 
 after my native place, whence I departed full ten years since. I wish 
 to inhale a little of my own country air, and to learn the present 
 situation of my family. I shall be among them the day after to- 
 morrow, at a place called Olm6do, a populous village on this side of 
 Segovia." 
 
 I resolved on accompanying this barber home, and going to 
 Segovia for the chance of a cast to Madrid. We began enter- 
 taining one another with indifferent subjects as we went along. 
 The young fellow was perfectly good-humored, with a ready wit. 
 After an hour's conversation, he asked me if I was hungry. I re- 
 ferred him to the first house of call for my answer. " To stop dilapi- 
 dations till we get there," said he, " we may renew our term by a 
 little breakfast from my wallet. When I am on a journey, I am 
 always my own caterer. None of your woollen-drapery, nor linen- 
 drapery, nor any of your frippery or trumpery. I hate ostentation. 
 My wallet contains nothing but a little exercise for my grinders, my 
 razors, and a wash-ball." I extolled his discretion, and agreed with 
 all my heart to the bargain he proposed. My appetite was keen and 
 sharp-set for a comfortable meal ; after what he had said, I could 
 expect no less. We drew aside a little from the high road, and sat 
 down upon the grass. There my little journeyman barber laid out 
 his provisions, consisting of five or six onions, with some scraps of 
 bread and cheese; but the best lot in the auction was a little 
 leathern bottle, full, as he said, of choice, delicate wine. Though 
 the solids were not very relishing, the calls of hunger did not allow 
 either of us to be dainty; and we emptied the bottle too, containing 
 about two pints of a wine one could not recommend without some 
 remorse of conscience. We then rose from table, and set out again 
 on the tramp in high glee. The barber, who had heard some little 
 snatches of my story from Fabricio, entreated me to furnish him 
 with the whole from the best authority. It was impossible to refuse 
 so munificent an host; I therefore gave him the satisfaction he 
 required. In my turn I called on him, as an acknowledgment of my 
 frankness, to communicate the leading circumstances of his terres- 
 trial peregrinations. " Oh I as for my adventures," exclaimed he, 
 "they are scarcely worth recording, a mere catalogue of common 
 occurrences. Nevertheless, since we have nothing else to do, I will 
 run over the narrative, such as it is." At the same time he entered 
 on the recital nearly in the following terms.
 
 104 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 THE JOURNEYMAN BARBER'S STORY. 
 
 " T TAKE up my tale from the origin of things. My grandfather, 
 JL Ferdinand Perez de la Fuenta, barber-general to the village 
 of Olmedo for fifty years, died, leaving four sons. The eldest, 
 Nicholas, succeeded to the shop, and lathered himself into the good 
 graces of the customers. Bertrand, the next, having taken a fancy 
 to trade, set up for a mercer; Thomas, who was the third, turned 
 schoolmaster. As for the fourth, by name Pedro, feeling within 
 himself the high destinies of learning, he sold a dirty acre or two 
 which fell to his share, and went to settle at Madrid, where he 
 hoped one day to distinguish himself by his genius and erudition. 
 The other three brothers would not part ; they fixed their quarters 
 at Olmedo, marrying peasants' daughters, who brought their hus- 
 bands very little dowry, except an annual present of a chopping 
 young rustic. They had a most public-spirited emulation in child- 
 bearing. My mother, the barber's wife, favored the world with a 
 contribution of six within the first five years of her marriage. I was 
 among the number. My father initiated me betimes in the myste- 
 ries of shaving; and when he saw me grown up to the age of fifteen, 
 laid this wallet across my shoulders, presented me with a long 
 sword, and said, ' Go, Diego, you are now qualified to gain your own 
 livelihood ; go and travel about. You want a little acquaintance 
 with the world to give you a polish, and improve you in your art. 
 Off with you ! and do not return to Olmedo till you have made the 
 tour of Spain, nor let me hear of you till that is accomplished.' 1 
 Finishing with this injunction, he embraced me with fatherly affec- 
 tion, and shoved me out of doors by the shoulders. 
 
 " Such were the parting benedictions of my sire. As for my 
 mother, who had more the touch of nature in her manners, she 
 seemed to feel somewhat at my departure. She dropped a few tears, 
 and even slipped a ducat by stealth into my hand. Thus was I sent 
 from Olmedo into the wide world, and took the road of Segovia. I 
 did not go two hundred yards without stopping to examine my bag. 
 I had a mind to view its contents, and to know the precise amount 
 of my possessions. There I found a case with two razors, which 
 must have travelled post over the chins of ten generations, by the 
 evidence of their wear and tear, with a strap to set them, and a bit 
 of soap. In addition to this, a coarse shirt, quite new, a pair of my 
 father's shoes, quite old, and, what rejoiced me more than all the 
 rest, a rouleau of twenty rials in a linen bag. Behold the sum total
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 105 
 
 of my personals. You may conclude master Nicholas, the barber, 
 to have reckoned a good deal on my ingenuity, by his turning me 
 adrift with so slender a provision. Yet a ducat and twenty rials, 
 by way of fortune, was enough to turn the head of a young man 
 unaccustomed to money concerns. I fancied my stock of cash inex- 
 haustible, and pursued my journey in the sunshine of brilliant 
 anticipation, looking from time to time at the hilt of my rapier, 
 while the blade was striking against the calf of my leg at every step, 
 or tripping up my heels. 
 
 " In the evening I reached the village of Ataquin6s with a very 
 catholic stomach. I put up at the inn ; and, as if I meant to spend 
 freely, asked, in a lofty tone, what there was for supper. The land- 
 lord examined my pretensions with his eye, and finding according 
 to what cloth my coat was cut, said, with a true publican's civility, 
 ' Yes, yes, my worthy master, you shall have no reason to com- 
 plain ; we will treat you like a lord.' With this assurance, he 
 showed me into a little room, whither he brought me, a quarter of 
 an hour afterwards, a ragout made of a great he cat, on which I 
 feasted with as famous an appetite as if it had been hare or rabbit. 
 This excellent dish was washed down by so choice a wine, that the 
 king had no better in his cellars. I found out, however, that it was 
 pricked ; but that was no hindrance to my doing it as much honor 
 as I did the he cat. The last article in this entertainment for a lord 
 was a bed better adapted to drive sleep away than to invite it. 
 Figure it to yourself about the width of a coffin, and so short that I 
 could not stretch my legs, though none of the longest. Besides, 
 there was neither mattress nor feather bed, but merely a little straw 
 sewed up in a sheet folded double, which was laid down clean for 
 every hundredth traveller, and served the other ninety-nine, one 
 after another, without washing. Nevertheless, in such a bed, with 
 a stomach which was distended to a surfeit by fricasseed cat, and 
 then raked by sour wine, thanks to youth and a good constitu- 
 tion, I slept soundly, and passed the night without being in any 
 way disturbed. 
 
 "On the following day, when I had breakfasted, and paid the 
 reckoning, as I had been treated like a lord, I made but one stage 
 to Segovia. On my arrival, I had the good fortune to find a shop, 
 where they took me in for my board and lodging ; but I stayed 
 there only six months; a journeyman barber with whom I got 
 acquainted was going to Madrid, and drew me in to set off with 
 him. I had no difficulty in procuring a situation on the same foot- 
 ing as at Segovia. I got into a shop of the very best custom. It is 
 true, it was near the Church of the Holy Cross, and that the neigh- 
 borhood of the Prince's Theatre brought a great deal of business.
 
 106 ADVENTURES OF GIL DLAS. 
 
 My master, two stirring fellows, and myself, could scarcely lather 
 the chins of the people who came to be shaved. They were of all 
 trades and conditions, among the rest, players and authors. One 
 day, two persons of the last description happened to meet. They 
 began conversing about the poets and pieces in vogue, when one of 
 them mentioned my uncle's name a circumstance which drew my 
 attention more particularly to their discourse. ' Don Juan de Zava- 
 leta,' said one, ' will never do any good as an author. A man of a 
 cold genius, without a spark of fancy, he has written himself down 
 at a terrible rate by his last publication.' 'And Louis Velez de 
 Guevara,' said the other, 'what has he done? A fine work to bring 
 before the public! Was there ever anything so wretched?' They 
 mentioned I know not how many poets besides, whose names I have 
 forgotten : I only recollect that they said no good of them. As for 
 my uncle, they made a more honorable mention of him, agreeing 
 that he was a personage of merit. ' Yes,' said one, ' Don Pedro de la 
 Fuenta is an excellent author ; there is a sly humoc; in his works, 
 blended with solid sense, which communicates an Attic poignancy 
 to their general effect. I am not surprised at his popularity, both 
 in court and city, nor at the pensions settled on him by the great.' 
 ' For many years past,' said the other, ' he has enjoyed a very large 
 income. He lives at the Duke de Medina Celi's table, and has an 
 apartment in his house, so that he is at no expense; he must be 
 well-to-do in the world.' 
 
 " I lost not a syllable of what these poets were saying about my 
 uncle. We had learned in the family that he made a noise in 
 Madrid by his works ; some travellers, passing through Olmedo, had 
 told us so ; but as he took no notice of us, and seemed to have 
 weaned himself from all natural ties, we on our side lived in a state of 
 perfect indifference about him. Yet nature will prevail ; as soon as I 
 had heard that he was in a fair way, and had learned where he lived, 
 I was tempted to call upon him. One thing staggered me a little; 
 the literati had styled him Don Pedro. This don was an awkward 
 circumstance: I had my doubts whether he might not be some 
 other poet of the name, and not my uncle. Yet that apprehension 
 did not damp my ardor. I thought he might have been ennobled 
 for his wit, and determined to pay him a visit. For this purpose, 
 with my master's leave, I tricked myself out one morning as well as 
 I could, and sallied from our shop, a little proud of being nephew to 
 a man who had gained so high a character by his genius. Barbers 
 are not the most diffident people in the world. I began to conceive 
 no mean.opinion of myself; and riding the high horse with all the 
 arrogance of greatness, inquired my way to the Duke de Medina 
 Celi's palace. I rang at the gate, and said I wanted to speak with
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 107 
 
 Signer Don Pedro de la Fuenta. The porter pointed with his finger 
 to a narrow staircase at the fag end off the court, and answered, 
 ' Go up there, then knock at the first door on your right.' I did as 
 he directed me, and knocked at a door. It was opened by a young 
 man, whom I asked if those were the apartments of Signer Don 
 Pedro de la Fuenta. ' Yes,' answered he, ' but you cannot speak to 
 him at present.' ' I should he very glad,' said I, 'just to say, How 
 are you ? I bring him news of his family.' 'And if you brought 
 him news of the pope,' replied he, ' I could not introduce you just 
 now. He is writing, and while his wits are at work, he must not be 
 disturbed. He will not be able to receive company till noon ; take 
 a turn, and come back about that time.' 
 
 "I departed, and walked about town all the morning, incessantly 
 meditating on the reception my uncle would give me. ' I think,' said 
 I within myself, ' he will be overjoyed to see me.' I measured his 
 feelings by my own, and prepared myself for a very affecting dis- 
 covery. I returned punctually at the appointed hour. ' You are 
 just in time,' said the servant; 'my master was going out. Wait 
 here a moment : I will announce you.' With these words, he left 
 me in the ante-chamber. He returned almost immediately, and 
 showed me into his master's room. The face struck me all at once 
 as a family likeness. To be sure he was the very image of my uncle 
 Thomas ; they might have been taken for twins. I bowed down to 
 the ground, and introduced myself as the son of Master Nicholas de 
 la Fuenta, the barber of Olm6do. I likewise informed him that I 
 had been working at my father's trade in Madrid, for these three 
 weeks, as a journeyman, and intended making the tour of Spain to 
 complete my education. While I was speaking, my uncle was evi- 
 dently in a brown study. He seemed to doubt whether he should 
 disown me at once or get rid of me with some little sacrifice to 
 decency. The latter course he adopted. Affecting the affable, he 
 said, 'Well, my good kinsman, how are your father and your uncles? 
 Do they get on in the world ?' I began thereupon by laying before 
 him the family knack at propagation. All the children, male and 
 female, I called over by their names, with their godfathers and god- 
 mothers included in the list! He took no extravagant interest in 
 the particulars of my tale; but, leading- to his own purposes, 
 ' Diego,' replied he, ' I am quite of your mind. You should go 
 from place to. place, and see a variety of practice. I would not have 
 you tarry. longer at Madrid: it is a very dangerous residence for 
 youth ; you may get into bad habits, my sweet fellow. Other towns 
 will suit you better; the state of society in the provinces is more 
 patriarchal and philosophical. Determine on emigration; and 
 when your departure is fixed, come and take your leave. I will con-
 
 IA ADVENTURES OF 0-IL 11LAS. 
 
 tribute a pistole to the tour of Spain.' With this kind assurance, 
 he handed me out of the room, and sent me packing. 
 
 " I had not worldly wisdom enough to find out that he wanted to 
 get quit of me. I went back to our shop, and gave my master an 
 account of the visit I had paid. He looked no deeper than myself 
 into Signor Don Pedro's motives, and observed : ' I cannot help dif- 
 fering from your worthy uncle ; so far from advising you to travel 
 the provinces, the real thing would be, in my opinion, to give you a 
 comfortable settlement in this city. He is hand-and-glove with the 
 first people ; it is an easy matter for him to establish you in a great 
 family ; and that ia a fortune at once.' Struck with this lucky dis- 
 covery, which seemed to settle the point without difficulty, I called 
 on my uncle again two days afterwards, and made a modest pro- 
 posal to him for a situation about some leading character at court. 
 But the hint was not taken kindly. A proud man, living at free 
 quarters among the great, and dining with them in a family party, 
 did not exactly wish that, while he was sitting at my lord's table, 
 his nephew should be a guest in the servants' hall. Little Diego 
 might bring a scandal on Signor Don Pedro. He had no hesitation, 
 therefore, in fairly turning me out of doors, and that with a flea in 
 my ear. ' What, you little rascal !' said he, in a fit of extravagance, 
 ' do you mean to relinquish your calling ? Begone ; I consign you 
 to the reptile whose pernicious counsels will be your ruin. Take 
 your leave of these premises, and never set your foot on them again, 
 or you shall have the reception you deserve!' I was absolutely 
 stunned at this language, and still more at the peremptory tone my 
 uncle assumed. With tears in my eyes I withdrew, quite overcome 
 by his severity. Yet, as I had always been lively and confident in 
 my temper, I soon wiped away my tears. My grief was even turned 
 into resentment, and I determined to take no further notice of this 
 unnatural relative, whose kind offices I had hitherto been contented 
 to want. 
 
 " My attention was henceforth directed to the cultivation of my 
 professional talent; I was quite a plodding fellow at my trade. I 
 scraped away all day; and in the evening, by way of relief to my 
 scraping, I twanged the guitar. My master on that instrument was 
 an old Senor Escudero whom I shaved. Hr taught me music in 
 return ; and he was an adept. To be sure, he had formerly been a 
 chorister in a cathedral. His name was Marcos de Obregon. He 
 was a man of the world, with good natural parts and acquired 
 
 :nowledge, which jointly induced him to fix on me as an adopted 
 He was engaged as an attendant on a physician's lady, resi- 
 
 lent within thirty yards of our house. I went to him in the even- 
 ing, when shop was shut, and we two, sitting on the threshold of the
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 109 
 
 door, made up a little concert not displeasing to the neighborhood. 
 It was not that our voices were very fine ; but in thrumming on the 
 catgut, we made a pretty regular accompaniment to our duet, and 
 filled up the harmony sufficiently for the gratification of our hearers. 
 Our music was particularly agreeable to Donna Mergelina, the phy- 
 sician's wife ; she came into the passage to hear us, and sometimes 
 encored us in her favorite airs. Her husband did not interfere with 
 her amusement. Though a Spaniard, and in years, he was not pos- 
 sessed with jealousy ; besides, his profession took up all his time ; 
 and as he came home in the evening, worn out with his numerous 
 visits, he went to bed at an early hour, without troubling himself 
 about his wife or our concerts. Possibly, if he thought about them 
 at all, he might consider them as little likely to produce dangerous 
 consequences. He had an additional security in his wife. Merge- 
 lina was young and handsome with a witness, but of so fierce a 
 modesty, that she started at the very shadow of a man. How could 
 he take umbrage at an amusement of so harmless and decorous a 
 nature? He gave us leave to sing our hearts out. 
 
 " One evening, as I came to the physician's door, intending to 
 take my usual recreation, I found the old squire waiting for me. 
 He took me by the hand, saying that he wished to take a little walk 
 with me before we struck up our little concert. At the same time 
 he drew me aside into a by-street, where, finding an opportunity of 
 opening his mind : * Diego, my good lad,' said he, with a melancholy 
 air, ' I want to give you a hint in private. I much fear, my good 
 and amiable youth, that we shall both have reason to repent of be- 
 guiling our evenings with little musical parties at my master's door. 
 Rely on my sincere friendship : I do not grudge your lessons in 
 singing and on the guitar ; but if I could have foreseen the storm 
 now brewing, in the name of charity, I would have selected some 
 other spot to communicate my instructions !' This address alarmed 
 me. I entreated the gentle squire to be more explicit, and to tell 
 me what we had to fear ; for I was no Hector, and the tour of Spain 
 was not yet finished. '^ will relate to you,', replied he, 'what it 
 concerns you to know, that you may take proper measure of our 
 present danger. 
 
 " ' When I got into the service of the physician, about a year ago, 
 he said one morning, after having introduced me to his wife : " There, 
 Marcos, you see your mistress ; that is the lady you are to accom- 
 pany in all her peregrinations." I was smitten with Donna Merge- 
 lina: she was lovely in the extreme, a model for an artist, and her 
 principal attraction was the pleasantness of her deportment. " Hon- 
 ored sir," replied I to the physician, " it is too great a happiness to 
 be in the train of so charming a lady." My answer was taken amiss
 
 no 
 
 by Mergelina, who said, rather crustily, " A pleasant gentleman this 1 
 He is perfectly free and easy. Believe me, his fine speeches may go 
 a begging for me !" These words, dropped from such lovely lips, 
 M-rim'd rather inconsistent the manners and ideas of bumpkins and 
 dairy-maids coupled with all the graces of the most lovely woman 
 in the world ! As for her husband, he was used to her ways ; and, 
 hugging himself on the unrivalled character of his rib, " Marcos," 
 said he, " my wife is a miracle of chastity." Then, observing her 
 put on her veil, and make herself ready to go to mass, he told me to 
 attend on her at church. We were no sooner in the street than we 
 met and it was no wonder blades who, struck with Donna Mer- 
 gelina's genteel carriage, told her a thousand flattering tales as they 
 passed by. She was not backward in her answers ; these were silly 
 aud ill-timed, beyond what you can conceive. They were all in 
 amaze, and could not imagine how a woman should take it amiss to 
 be complimented. " Why, really ! madam," said I to her at first, 
 " you had better be silent, or shut your ears to their addresses, than 
 reply with asperity." " No, no," replied she ; " I will teach these 
 coxcombs that I am not a woman to put up with impertinence." In 
 short, her absurdity went so far, that I could not help telling her my 
 mind, at the hazard of her displeasure. I gave her to understand, 
 yet with the greatest possible caution, that she was unjust to nature, 
 whose handiwork she marred by her preposterous ferocity ; that a 
 woman of mild and polished manners might inspire love without 
 the aid of beauty ; whereas the loveliest of the sex, divested of 
 female softness, was in danger of becoming the public scorn. To 
 this ratiocination I added collateral arguments, always directed to 
 the amendment of her manners. After having moralized to no 
 purpose, I was afraid my freedom might exasperate my mistress, and 
 draw upon me some taunting repartee. Nevertheless, she did not 
 mutiny against my advice, but silently rendered it of no avail; and 
 thus we went on from day to day. 
 
 ' ' I was weary of pointing out her errors to no purpose, and gave 
 her up to the ferocious temperament of her nature. Yet, could you 
 think it ? the savage humor of that proud woman is entirely changed 
 within these two months. She has a kind word for all the world, 
 and manners the most accommodating. It is no longer the same 
 Mergelina who gave such homely answers to the compliments of her 
 swains ; she is become assailable by flattery ; loves to be told she is 
 handsome that a man cannot look at her without paying for it ; 
 her ears itch for fine speeches, and she is become a very woman. 
 Such a change is almost inconceivable : and the best of the joke is, 
 that you are the worker of this unparalleled miracle. Yes, my dear 
 Diego, it is you who have transformed Donna Mergelina : you have
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. Ill 
 
 softened down the tigress into a domestic animal ; in a word, you 
 have made her feel. I have observed it more than once ; and never 
 trust my knowledge of the sex, if she is not desperately in love 
 with you. Such, my dear boy, is the melancholy news I have to 
 communicate the awkward predicament in which we stand.' 
 
 " ' I do not see,' said I in my turn to the old man, ' that there is 
 anything so melancholy in this accident, or any peculiar -awkward- 
 ness in being the object of a pretty woman's partiality.' 'Ah ! Diego,' 
 replied he, ' you argue like a young man : you only see the bait, 
 without guarding against the hook ; pleasure is your lure, while my 
 thoughts are directed to the unpleasant circumstances attending it. 
 Murder will out. If you go on singing at our door, you will pro- 
 voke Mergelina's passion ; and she, probably, losing all command 
 over herself, will betray her weakness to her husband, Dr. Oloroso, 
 That wretched husband, so complying now that he thinks there is 
 no ground for jealousy, will run wild, take signal vengeance upon 
 her, and perhaps play some dog's trick or other to you and me.' 
 ' Well, then !' rejoined I, ' your reasons shall be conclusive with me, 
 and your sage counsels my rule. Lay down the line of conduct I 
 am to adopt for the prevention of any left-handed catastrophe.' 
 ' We will have no more concerts,' Was his peremptory decree. ' Do 
 not show yourself any more to my mistress : when the sight of you 
 does not inflame her, she will recover her composure. Stay within 
 doors : I will call in upon you, and we will torture the guitar with 
 impunity.' 'With all my heart,' said I, 'and I will never set my 
 foot again in your premises.' In good truth, I was determined to 
 serenade no longer before the physician's door, but henceforth to 
 keep within the precincts of my shop, since my attractions as a man 
 were so formidable. 
 
 " In the meantime, good Squire Marcos, with all his prudence, 
 experienced in the course of a few days that the plan he had de- 
 vised to quench Donna Mergelina's flame produced a directly oppo- 
 site effect. The lady on the second night not hearing me sing, asked 
 why we had discontinued our concerts, and the reason of my absence. 
 He told her I was so busy as not to have a moment to spare for 
 relaxation. She seemed satisfied with that excuse, and for three 
 days longer bore the disappointment of all her hopes like a heroine ; 
 but at the end of that period, my martyr to the tender passion lost 
 all patience, and said to her conductor, ' You are playing false with 
 me, Marcos ; Diego has not discontinued his visits without a cause. 
 This mystery must be unravelled. Speak, I command you; conceal 
 nothing from me !' ' Madam,' answered he, making use of another 
 subterfuge, ' since the truth must be told, it has often happened to him 
 to find the cloth taken away at home after the concert; he cannot run
 
 112 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 the risk any longer of going to bed without his supper.' ' What, 
 without his supper I' exclaimed she in an agony, ' why did not you 
 tell me so sooner? Go to bed without his supper! Oh, the poor 
 little sufferer ! Go to him this instant, and let him come again this 
 evening ; he shall not go home starving any more, there shall 
 always be a luncheon for him.' 
 
 " ' What do I hear?' said the squire, affecting astonishment at this 
 language. '0, Heaven, what a reverse! Is this you, madam, and 
 are these your sentiments? Well-a-day ! Since when are you so 
 compassionate and tender-hearted?' 'Since,' replied she signifi- 
 cantly, ' since you have lived in this house, or rather since you dis- 
 approved my disdainful manners, and have labored to soften the 
 acrimony of my temper. But, alas !' added she, in a melting mood, 
 ' I have gone from one extreme to the other. Proud and insensible 
 as I was, I am become too susceptible too tender. I am enamored 
 of your young friend Diego, and I cannot help myself; his absence, 
 far from allaying my ardor, only adds fuel to the fire.' ' Is it possi- 
 ble/ resumed the old man, 'that a young fellow with neither face 
 nor person should have inspired so strong a passion ? I could 
 make allowance for your feelings, if they had been set afloat by 
 some nobleman of distinguished merit.' . . . ' Ah I Marcos,' inter- 
 rupted Mergelina, ' I am not like the rest of my sex ; or, rather, 
 spite of your long experience, your penetration is but shallow if 
 you fancy merit to have much share in our choice. Judging by 
 myself, we all leap before we look. Love is a mental derangement, 
 forcibly drawing all our views and attachments into one vortex a 
 species of hydrophobia. Have done, then, with your hints that 
 Diego is not worthy of my tenderness ; that he has it is enough to 
 invest him with a thousand perfections too ethereal for your gross 
 sight, and perhaps too unsubstantial for any but a lover's percep- 
 tion. In vain you disparage his features or his stature ; in my eyes 
 he was created to undo, and encircled by the hand of Nature with 
 the glories of the opening day. Nay, more, there is a thrilling 
 sweetness in his voice ; his touch on the guitar has the taste of an 
 amateur and the execution of a professor.' 'But, madam,' sub- 
 joined Marcos, ' do you consider who Diego is ? The meanness of 
 his station.' . . . 'My own is very little better,' interrupted she 
 again ; ' though were I of noble birth, it would make no difference 
 in my sensations.' 
 
 "The result of that conference was that the squire, concluding he 
 should make no impression on the mind of his mistress, gave over 
 struggling with her obstinacy, as a skillful pilot runs before the 
 etorm, though it carries him out to sea from his intended port. He 
 did more: to satisfy his patroness, he paid me a visit, took me
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 113 
 
 aside, and, after having related what passed between them, said, 
 ' You see, Diego, that we cannot dispense with the performance of 
 our concerts at Mergelina's door. Absolutely, my friend, that lady 
 must see you again, otherwise she may commit some act of despera- 
 tion fatal to her good name.' I was not inexorable, but answered 
 Marcos that I would attend with my guitar early in the evening, 
 and despatched him to his mistress with the happy tidings. He 
 executed his office, and the impassioned dame was out of her wits 
 with joy in the delicious prospect of hearing and seeing me in a few 
 hours. 
 
 " A most disagreeable circumstance, however, was very near dis- 
 appointing her in that hope. I could not leave home before night, 
 and, for my sins, it was dark as pitch. I went groping along the 
 street, and had got maybe half way, when down from a window 
 came upon my head the contents of a perfuming-pan, which did not 
 tickle my olfactory nerves very pleasantly. I may say that not a 
 whiff was wasted, so exactly had the giver taken measure of the 
 receiver. In this situation I was at a loss on what to resolve. To 
 go back by the way I came, what an exhibition before my com- 
 rades ! It was surrendering myself to all their nasty witticisms. 
 Then, again, go to Mergelina in such a glorious trim, that hurt my 
 feelings on the other side. I determined at length to get on towards 
 the physician's. The old usher was waiting for me at the door. He 
 said that Doctor Oloroso had gone to bed, and we might amuse 
 ourselves as we liked. I answered that the first thing was to purify 
 my drapery, at the same time relating my misfortune. He seemed 
 to feel for me, and showed me. into a hall where his mistress was 
 sitting. As soon as the lady got wind of my adventure, and had 
 confirmed the testimony of her nose by the evidence of her eyes, 
 she mourned over me as grievously as if my miseries had been mor- 
 tal ; then, apostrophizing the absent cause of my foul array, she 
 uttered a thousand imprecations. 'Well, but, madam,' said Marcos, 
 'do moderate this ecstasy of grief, consider that such casualties will 
 happen ; there is no occasion to take on so bitterly.' ' Why !' ex- 
 claimed she, with vehemence, ' why would you debar me from the 
 privilege of weeping over the injuries of this tender lamb, this dove 
 without gall, who does not so much as murmur at the affront he has 
 sustained? Alas I why am I not a man at this moment, to avenge 
 him!' 
 
 " She uttered numberless soothing expressions besides, to mark 
 distinctly the excess of her devotion, and her actions corresponded 
 with her words ; for while Marcos was employed in wiping me down 
 with a towel, she ran into her chamber and brought out a box fur- 
 nished with every variety of perfume. She burned sweet-smelling 
 8
 
 114 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 drugs, and perfumed my clothes with them, after which she 
 drenched me in a deluge of essences. The fumigation ,and aspersion 
 ended, this bountiful lady went herself and fetched from the kitchen 
 bread, wine, and some good slices of roast mutton, set by on pur- 
 pose for me. She forced me to eat, and, taking a pleasure in wait- 
 ing on me, sometimes carved for me, and sometimes filled my glass, 
 in spite of all that Marcos and myself could do to anticipate her 
 condescension. When I had done supper, the gentlemen of the 
 orchestra struck the key-note, and tuned their sweet voices to the 
 pitch of their guitars. We played and sang to the heart's delight 
 of Mergelina. To be sure we took care to carol none but amorous 
 ditties ; and as we sang, I every now and then leered at her with 
 such a roguish meaning, as to throw oil upon the fire, for the game 
 began to be interesting. The concert, though the acts were long, 
 was not tedious. As for the lady, to whom hours seemed to fly like 
 seconds, she could have been content to exhaust the night in listen- 
 ing, if the old squire, with whom the seconds seemed to lag like 
 hours, had not hinted how late it was. She gave him the trouble of 
 enforcing his moral on the lapse of time by at least ten repetitions. 
 But she was in the hands of a man not to be turned aside from his 
 purpose; he let her have no rest till I was gone. Sensible and pro- 
 vident as he was, seeing his mistress given up to a mad passion, he 
 dreaded lest our harmony should be resolved by some discord. His 
 fears were ominous. The physician, whether his mind misgave him 
 of some foul play, or the spirit of jealousy, hitherto on its good 
 behavior, had a mind to harass him gratuitously, bethought himself 
 of quarrelling with our concerts. He did more he put a broad 
 negative upon them, and without assigning his reasons for acting in 
 this violent way, declared that he would suffer no more strangers to 
 come about his premises. 
 
 " Marcos acquainted me with this mortifying declaration, particu- 
 larly levelled against my rising hopes. I had begun bobbing at this 
 dainty cherry, and did not like to lose my game. Nevertheless, to 
 act the part of a faithful reporter and true historian, I must own my 
 impatience did not affect my health or spirits. Not so with Merge- 
 lina : her feelings were more alive than ever. ' My dear Marcos,' 
 said she to her usher, ' it is only from you that I look for succor. 
 Contrive, I beseech you, that I may see Diego in private.' ' What 
 do you require ?' asked the old man, with a reproachful accent. ' I 
 have been but too indulgent to you. I am not a person to crown 
 your wanton wishes at the expense of my master's honor, your good 
 fame, and my own eternal infamy the infamy of a man whose past 
 life has been one continued series of faithful service and exemplary 
 conduct. I would rather leave the family than stay in it on such
 
 ADVENTUEES OF GIL BIAS. 115 
 
 scandalous conditions.' 'Alas! Marcos,' interrupted the lady, 
 frightened out of her wits at these last words, ' you wring my heart 
 by talking in this manner. Obdurate man ! Can you bear the 
 thought of sacrificing her who lays all her present agony to your 
 account ? Give me back my former pride, and that savage soul you 
 have taken from me. Why am I no longer happy in my very im- 
 perfections ? I might now have been at peace, but your rash coun- 
 sels have robbed me of the repose I then enjoyed. You, the corrector 
 of my manners, have tampered with my morals. . . . But why do I 
 rave, unhappy wretch that I am? why upbraid you thus wrong- 
 fully ? No, my guardian angel, you are not the fatal source of all 
 my miseries ; my evil destiny had decreed these tortures to await 
 me. Lay not to heart, I conjure you on my knees, these transports of 
 a disordered imagination. Oh, mercy ! my passion drives me mad ; 
 have compassion on my weakness; you are my sole support and 
 stay ; if, then, my life is not indifferent to you, deny me not your aid.' 
 " At these words her tears flowed in fresh torrents, and stifled her 
 lugubrious accents. She took out her handkerchief, and throwing 
 it over her face, fell into a chair like a person overcome by her 
 affliction. Old Marcos, who was perhaps one of the most tractable 
 go-betweens in the world, could no longer steel his heart against so 
 touching a spectacle. Pierced to the quick, he even mingled his 
 tears with those of his mistress, and spoke to her in a softened tone : 
 'Ah, madam, why are you thus bewitching? I cannot hold out 
 against your sorrowful complaints ; my virtue yields under the 
 pressure of my pity. I promise you all the relief in my power. No 
 longer do I marvel at the oblivious influence of passion over duty, 
 since mere sympathy can mislead my footsteps from its thorny 
 paths.' Thus did this pander, whose past life has been one con- 
 tinued series of faithful service and exemplary conduct, sell himself 
 to the devil to feed Mergelina's illicit flame. One morning he came 
 and talked over the whole business with me, saying at his departure 
 that he had a scheme in his head to bring about a private interview 
 between us. At the thought, my hopes were all rekindled ; but they 
 glimmered tremblingly in the socket at a piece of news I heard two 
 hours afterwards. A journeyman apothecary in the neighborhood, 
 one of our customers, came in^to be shaved. While I was making 
 ready to trim his bushy honors, he said, ' Master Diego, do you 
 know anything about your friend the old usher, Marcos de Obre- 
 gon ? Is he not going to leave Dr. Oloroso ?' I said ' No.' ' But 
 he is, though,' replied he ; ' he will get his dismission this very day. 
 His master and mine were talking about it just now in my hearing, 
 and their conversation was to the following effect: "Signer Apun- 
 tador," said the physician, " I have a favor to beg of you. I am not
 
 116 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 easy about an old usher of mine, and should like to place my wife 
 under the eye of a trusty, strict, and vigilant duenna." " I under- 
 stand you," interrupted my master. " You want Dame Melancia, 
 my wife's directress, and indeed mine for the last six weeks, since I 
 have been a widower. Though she would be very useful to me in 
 housewifery, I give her up to you, from a paramount regard to your 
 honor. You may rely upon her for the security of your brow; she 
 is the phoenix of the duenna tribe a spring-gun and a man-trap 
 set in the purlieus of female chastity. During twelve whole years 
 that she was about my wife, whose youth and beauty, you know, 
 were not without their attractions, I never saw the least semblance 
 of manhood within my doors. No, no I By all the powers I that 
 game was not so easily played. And yet I must let you know that 
 the departed saint Heaven rest her soul ! had in the outset a 
 great hankering after the delights of the flesh ; but Dame Melancia 
 cast her in a new mould, and regenerated her to virtue and self- 
 denial. In short, such a guardian of the weaker sex is a treasure, 
 and you will never have done thanking me for my precious gift." 
 Hereupon the doctor expressed his rapture at the issue of the con- 
 ference, and they agreed (Signer Apuntador and he) on the duenna's 
 succeeding the old usher on this very day.' 
 
 " This news, which I thought probable, and turned out to be true, 
 disturbed the pleasurable ideas just now beginning to flow afresh, 
 and renovate my soul. After dinner, Marcos completed the convul- 
 sion, by confirming the young drug-pounder's story: 'My dear 
 Diego,' said the good squire, ' I am heartily glad that Doctor Olo- 
 roso has turned me off; it spares me a world of trouble. Besides 
 that it hurt my feelings to be invested with the office of a spy, end- 
 less must have been the shifts and subterfuges to bring you and 
 Mergelina together in private. We should have been rarely gra- 
 velled ! Thanks to Heaven, I am set free from all such perplexing 
 cares, to say nothing of their attendant danger. On your part, my 
 dear boy, you ought to be comforted for the loss of a few soft 
 moments, which must have been dogged at the heels by a thousand 
 fears and vexations.' I relished Marcos' sermon well enough, be- 
 cause my hopes were at an end the game was lost. I was not, it 
 must be confessed, among the number of those stubborn lovers who 
 bear up against every impediment ; but though I had been so, Dame 
 Melancia would have made me let go my hold. The established 
 character of that duenna would have daunted the adventurous spirit 
 of a knight-errant. Yet, in whatever colors this phoenix of the 
 duenna tribe might have been painted, I had reason to know, two 
 or three days afterwards, that the physician's lady had unset the 
 man-trap and spring-gun, and given a stop to this watch-dog of
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 117 
 
 lubricity. As I was going out to shave one of our neighbors, a civil 
 old gentlewoman stopped rne in the street, and asked me if my 
 name was Diego de la Fuenta. I said ' Yes.' ' That being the 
 case,' replied she, ' I have a little business with you. Place yourself 
 this evening at Donna Mergeliua's door ; and when you are there, 
 give a signal, and you shall be let in.' ' Vastly well !' said I ; ' what 
 must the signal be ? I can take off a cat to the life. Suppose I was 
 to mew a certain number of times.' ' The very thing,' replied this 
 Iris of intrigue ; ' I will carry back your answer. Your most obe- 
 dient, Signer Diego ! Heaven protect the sweet youth ! Ah, you 
 are a pretty one 1 By St. Agnes, I wish I was but sweet fifteen : I 
 would not go to market for other folks I' With this hint, the old 
 procuress waddled out of sight. 
 
 "You may be sure this message put me in no small flutter. 
 Where now was the morality of Marcos? I waited for night with 
 impatience, and, calculating the time of Dr. Oloroso's going to 
 bed, took my station at his door. There I set up my caterwauling, 
 till you might hear me ever so far off, to the eternal honor of the 
 master who instructed me in that imitative art. A moment after, 
 Mergelina opened the door softly with her own dear hands, and shut 
 it again with me on the inside. We went into the hall, where our 
 last concert had been performed. It was dimly lighted by a small 
 lamp, which twinkled in the chimney. We sat down side by side, 
 and began our tender parley, each of us overcome by our emotions, 
 but with this difference, that hers were all inspired by pleasure, 
 while mine were somewhat tainted by fear. In vain did the divinity 
 of my adorations assure me that we had nothing to fear from her 
 husband. I felt the access of an ague, which unmanned my vigor. 
 'Madam,' said I, 'how have you eluded the vigilance of your direct- 
 ress? After what I have heard of Dame Melancia, I could not 
 hare conceived it possible for you to contrive the means of sending 
 me any intelligence, much less of seeing me in private.' Donna 
 Mergelina smiled at this remark, and answered : ' You will no longer 
 be surprised at our being together to-night when I tell you what has 
 passed between my duenna and me. As soon as she came to her 
 place, my husband paid her a thousand compliments, and said to 
 me : " Mergelina, I consign you to the guidance of this wary lady, 
 herself an abstract of all the virtues : in this glass you may look 
 without a blush, and array yourself in habits of wisdom. This 
 extraordinary personage has for these twelve years been a light to 
 the ways of an apothecary's wife of my acquaintance ; but how has 
 she been a light to them ? . . . why, as ways never were enlightened 
 before: she turned a very slippery piece of mortal flesh into a 
 downright nun."
 
 118 ADVENTUBES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 " ' This panegyric, not belied by the austere mien of Dame Mel- 
 ancia, cost me a flood of tears, and reduced me to despair. I fan- 
 cied the din of eternal lectures from morning till night, and daily 
 rebukes too harsh to be endured. In short, I laid my account in a 
 life of wretchedness beyond the patience of a woman. Keeping no 
 measures in the expectation of such cruel sufferings, I said bluntly 
 to the duenna, the moment I was alone with her : " You mean, no 
 doubt, to exercise your tyranny most wantonly on my poor person ; 
 but I cannot bear much severity, I warn you beforehand. I give 
 you, moreover, fair notice, that I shall be as savage as you can be. 
 My heart cherishes a passion which not all your remonstrances shall 
 tear from it : so you may act accordingly. Watch me as closely as 
 you please ; it is hard if I cannot outwit such an old thing as you." 
 At these taunting words, I thought this saracen in petticoats was 
 going to give me a specimen of her discipline. But, so far from it, 
 she smoothed her brow, relaxed her surly features, and primming 
 up her mouth into a smile, promulgated this comfortable doctrine: 
 " Your temper charms me, and your frankness calls for a return. 
 We must have been made -for one another. Ah ! lovely Mergelina, 
 little do you fathom my character, to be deceived by the fine com- 
 pliments of your husband the Doctor, or by my Tartar contour ! 
 There was never a creature more fortified against moral prejudices ! 
 My inducement for getting into the service of jealous husbands 4s to 
 lend myself to the enjoyments of their pretty wives. Long have I 
 trodden the stage of life in masquerade; and I may call myself 
 doubly happy, in the spiritual rewards of virtue, and the temporal 
 indulgences of the opposite side. Between ourselves, mine is the 
 system of all mankind in the long run. Real virtue is a very expen- 
 sive article: plated goods look just as well, and are within the reach 
 of all purchasers. 
 
 " ' Put yourself under my direction. We will make Doctor Oloroso 
 pay the piper to our dancing, or I am no duenna. By my troth, he 
 shall go the way of Signor Apuntador and all mankind. There is 
 no reason why the forehead of a physician should be smoother than 
 the brow of an apothecary. Poor dear Apuntador I What fun 
 have we had with him, his wife and I ! A charming woman, that 
 wife of his ! A dear little creature, open to all mankind, and pre- 
 judiced by none ! Well I she is at peace, and has not left her fellow 
 behind her ! Take my word, short as her time was, she made the 
 most of it. Let me see how many rampant chaps have been 
 brought to their bearings in that house, without the dear, deluded 
 husband being waked out of his evening's nap! Now, madam, 
 you may see me in my true light; and assure yourself, whatever 
 might be the abilities of your old usher, you will not fare the
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 119 
 
 worse for going further. If he was a benefit to you, I shall be a 
 blessing." 
 
 " ' You may judge for yourself, Diego,' continued Mergelina, 'how 
 well I took it of the duenna, that she laid herself open so frankly. 
 I had taken her virtue to be of the impenetrable cast. Look you, 
 now, how much women are liable to be scandalized. But her char- 
 acter of plain dealing won my heart at once. I threw my arms 
 about her neck in a rapture, which bespoke my warm and tender 
 feelings at the thought of such a mother-abbess. I gave her carte 
 blanche of all my private thoughts, and put in for a speedy tete-d- 
 tte with your own dear self. She met me on my own ground. This 
 very morning she engaged the old woman who spoke to you to take 
 the field : she is an old stager a veteran in the service of the apoth- 
 ecary's wife. But the best of the joke in this comedy,' added she, 
 in a paroxysm of laughter, ' is that Melancia, on my assurance that 
 my husband's habit is to pass the night without stirring, is gone to 
 bed by his side, and drones out my useless office at this moment.' 
 'So much the worse, madam,' said I then to Mergelina; 'your de- 
 vice is more plausible than profitable. Your husband is very likely 
 to wake, and discover the fraud.' ' He will not discover anything 
 about it,' replied she, with no little urgency ; ' set your heart at rest 
 about that, and let not an empty fear poison the fountains of a 
 pleasure which ought to drown every vulgar and earthly considera- 
 tion in the arms of a young lady who is yours forever.' 
 
 " The old doctor's helpmate, finding that her assurances had little 
 effect upon my courage, left no stone unturned to put me in heart 
 again ; and she had so many encouraging ways with her, that a very 
 coward must have plucked up a little. My thoughts were all with 
 Jupiter and Alcmena; but at the very moment that the urchin 
 Cupid, with his train of smiles and antics, was weaving a garland 
 to compliment the crisis of our endeavors, we were stopped in our 
 career by an importunate knocking at the street door. In a mo- 
 ment, away flew love, and all his covey, like game at the report of a 
 fowling-piece. Mergelina popped me, like an article of household 
 furniture, under the hall table, blew out the lamp, and, by previous 
 agreement with her governess, in the event of so unlucky an acci- 
 dent, placed herself at the door of her husband's bedchamber. In 
 the meantime, the knocking continued with reiterated violence, till 
 the whole house resounded. The physician awoke suddenly, and 
 called Melancia. The duenna flung herself out of bed, though the 
 doctor, taking her for his wife, begged of her not to disturb herself. 
 She ran to her mistress, who, catching hold of her in the dark, 
 began calling Melancia ! and told her to go and see who was at the 
 door. ' Madam,' answered the directress, ' here I am at your ser-
 
 120 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 vice ; go to bed again, if you please ; we shall soon know who it is. 1 
 During this parley, Mergelina, having undressed, got into bed to 
 the doctor, who had not the least suspicion of the farce that was 
 playing. To be sure the stage was darkened, and the actresses had 
 very little occasion for a prompter ; one of them was familiar with 
 the boards, and the other only wanted a rehearsal or two to be per- 
 fect in her part. 
 
 " The duenna, in her night-gown, made her appearance soon after, 
 with a candle in her hand. ' Good doctor,' said she to her master, 
 ' have the goodness to get up. Our neighbor Fernandez de Buendia, 
 the bookseller, is in an apoplectic fit : you are sent for ; time presses.' 
 The physician got on his clothes as fast as he could, and went out. 
 His wife, in her bed-gown, came into the hall with the duenna. 
 They dragged me from under the table more dead than alive. ' You 
 have nothing to fear, Diego,' said Mergelina ; ' put yourself in proper 
 order.' At the same time she told me how things were in two words. 
 She had half a mind to renew our amorous intercourse; but the di- 
 rectress knew better. ' Madam,' said she, ' your husband may possibly 
 be too late to help the bookseller to the other world, and then he 
 will return immediately. Besides,' added she, observing me be- 
 numbed with fright, ' it would be all lost labor upon this poor youth I 
 He is not in a condition to answer your demands. You had better 
 send him home, and defer the debate till to-morrow evening.' Donna 
 Mergelina was sorry for the delay, as well knowing that a bird in 
 hand is worth two in the bush ; and I flatter myself that she was 
 disappointed at not putting a cuckold's nightcap on the doctor's 
 head. 
 
 "As for me, less grieved at having drawn a blank in the lottery of 
 love than rejoiced at getting my neck out of an halter, I returned to 
 my master's, where I passed the remainder of the night in moral- 
 izing on the scene I had left. For some time I was in doubt whether 
 to keep my appointment on the following evening. I thought it 
 was a foolish business from first to last ; but the devil, who is always 
 lurking for his prey, or rather taking possession of us as his lawful 
 property, whispered in my ear that I should be a great fool to pack 
 up my all when the prize was falling into my hands. Mergelina, 
 too, with opening and unfathomable charms! The exquisite pleas- 
 ure that awaited me ! I determined to stick to my text ; and pro- 
 mising myself a larger share of self-possession, took my station the 
 next evening at the doctor's door, between eleven and twelve, in a 
 most spirit-stirring humor. The heavens were completely dar- 
 kened not a star to prate of my whereabouts. I mewed twice or 
 thrice to give warning of my being in the street; and, as no one 
 answered my signal, I was not satisfied with, going over the old
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 121 
 
 ground, but ran up and down the cat's gamut from bass to treble, 
 and from treble to bass, just as I used to sol-fa with a shepherd of 
 Olmedo. I tuned my fundamental bass so musically, that a neigh- 
 bor on his return home, taking me for one of those animals whose 
 mewiiigs I counterfeited, picked up an unlucky flint lying at his 
 feet, and threw it at me with all his force, saying, ' The devil fetch 
 that cat !' I received the blow on my head, and was so stunned for 
 the moment, that I was very near falling backward. I found the 
 skin was broken. This was enough in all conscience, to give me a 
 surfeit of gallantry ; so that, my passion oozing out with my blood, 
 I made the best of my way homewards^ where I rendered night 
 hideous by my howling, and knocked all the family up. My mas- 
 ter probed my wound, and played the true surgeon on it ; he pro- 
 nounced the consequences to be uncertain. He did all he could to 
 make them certain ; but flesh will heal in spite of the faculty ; and 
 there was not a scar remaining in three weeks. During all this 
 time, I heard not a word from Mergelina. The probability is that 
 Dame Melancia, to wean her impure thoughts from me, engaged 
 her in some better sport. However, I did not concern myself about 
 the matter, but left Madrid, to continue my tour of Spain, as soon 
 as I found myself perfectly recovered." 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 THE MEETING OP GIL BLAS AND HIS COMPANION WITH A MAN SOAK- 
 ING CRUSTS OF BREAD AT A SPRING, AND THE PARTICULARS OP 
 THEIR CONVERSATION. 
 
 SIGNOR DIEGO DE LA FTTENTA related some other adventures 
 which had since happened to him, but they were so little wor- 
 thy of preservation, that I shall pass them by in silence. Yet there 
 was no getting rid of the recital, which was tedious enough : it 
 lasted as far as Ponte de Duero. We halted in that town the re- 
 mainder of the day. Our commons at the inn consisted of a vege- 
 table soup and a roast hare, whose genus and species we took 
 especial pains to verify. At daybreak on the following morning we 
 resumed our journey, after having replenished our flask with some 
 very tolerable wine, and our wallet with some pieces of bread, and 
 half the hare we had left from supper. When we had gone about 
 two leagues, we waxed hungry, and espying, about two hundred
 
 122 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 yards from the high road, some spreading trees which threw an 
 agreeable shade over the plain, we made up to the spot, and rested 
 on our arms. There we met with a man, from seven to eight-and- 
 twenty, who was dipping crusts of bread into a spring. He had a long 
 sword lying by him on the grass, with a soldier's knapsack, of which 
 he had eased his shoulders. We thought his air and person better 
 than his attire. We accosted him with civility, and he returned our 
 salutation. He then offered us his crusts, and asked, with a smile, 
 if we would take pot-luck with him. We answered in the affirma- 
 tive, provided he had no objection to our clubbing our own break- 
 fast, by way of making the meal more substantial. He agreed to it 
 with the utmost readiness, and we immediately produced our pro- 
 visions, which were not unacceptable to the stranger. "What is all 
 this, gentlemen," exclaimed he, in a transport of joy; "here is 
 ammunition for an army! By your forecast, you must be commis- 
 saries or quartermasters. I do not travel with so much contrivance, 
 for my part, but depend a good deal on the chances of the road. At 
 the same time, though appearances may be against me, I can say, 
 without vanity, that I sometimes make a very brilliant figure in the 
 world. Would you believe that princely honors are commonly be- 
 stowed on me, and that I have guards in attendance ?" " I compre- 
 hend you," said Diego ; " you mean to tell us you are a player." 
 "You guess right," replied the other; "I have been an actor for 
 these fifteen years at least. From my very infancy I was sent on 
 the boards in children's parts." "To deal freely," rejoined the 
 barber, shaking his head, " I do not believe a word of it. I know 
 the players ; those gentry do not travel on foot, like you, nor do 
 they mess with St. Anthony. I doubt whether you are anything 
 better than a candle-snuffer." " You may," quoth the son of Thes- 
 pis, ''think of me as you please; but my parts, for all that, are in 
 the first line : I play the lovers." " If that be the case," said my 
 companion, " I wish you much joy, and am delighted that Signor 
 Gil Bias and myself have the honor of breakfasting with so eminent 
 a character." 
 
 We then began to pick up our crumbs, and to gnaw the precious 
 relics of the hare, bestowing such hearty smacks upon the bottle as 
 to empty it very shortly. We were all three so deeply engaged in 
 the great affair of eating, that we said very little till we had 
 finished, when we resumed our conversation. " I wonder," said the 
 barber to the player, " that you should be so much out at elbows. 
 For a theatrical hero, you have but a needy exterior ! I beg pardon 
 if I speak rather freely." "Bather freely!" exclaimed the actor; 
 " ah ! by my troth, you are not yet acquainted with Melchior Zapata. 
 Heaven be praised ! I have no mind to see things in a wrong light.
 
 THE POOR ACTOR. 
 
 p. 122.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 123 
 
 You do me a pleasure by speaking so confidently, for I love to un- 
 bosom myself without reserve. I honestly own I am not rich. 
 Here," pursued he, showing us his doublet lined with playbills, 
 " this is the common stuff which serves me for linings ; and if you 
 are curious to see my wardrobe, you shall not be disappointed." At 
 the same time he took out of his knapsack a dress, laced with tar- 
 nished frippery ; a shabby head-dress for a hero, with an old plume 
 of feathers ; silk stockings, full of holes, and red morocco shoes, a 
 great deal the worse for wear. " You see," said he again, " that I 
 am very little better than a beggar." " That is astonishing," re- 
 plied Diego; "then you have neither wife nor daughter?" "I 
 have a very handsome young wife," rejoined Zapata, " and yet I 
 might just as well be without her. Look with awe on the lowering 
 aspect of my horoscope. I married a personable actress, in the 
 hope that she would not let me die of hunger ; and, to my cost, she 
 is cursed with incorruptible chastity. Who the devil would not 
 have been taken in as well as myself? There was but one virtuous 
 princess in a whole strolling company, and she, plague take her ! 
 fell into my hands." " It was throwing with bad luck most un- 
 doubtedly," said the barber. " But then, why did not you look out 
 for an actress in the regular theatre at Madrid ? You would have 
 been sure of your mark." " You are perfectly in the right," re- 
 plied the stroller ; " but the mischief is, we underlings dare not 
 raise our thoughts to those illustrious heroines. It is as much as an 
 actor of the prince's company can venture on ; nay, some of them 
 are obliged to match with citizens' daughters. Happily for our fra- 
 ternity, citizens' daughters, nowadays, contract theatrical notions ; 
 and you may often meet with characters among them to the full as 
 eccentric as any bona roba of the green-room." 
 
 " Well, but have you never thought," said my fellow-traveller, 
 "of getting an engagement in that company? Is it necessary to be 
 a Eoscius for that purpose ?" " That is very well of you !" replied 
 Melchior, " you are a wag with your Roscius I There are twenty 
 performers. Ask the town what it thinks of them, and you will 
 hear a pretty character of their acting. More than half of them 
 deserve to carry a porter's knot. Yet, for all that, it is no easy 
 matter to get upon, the boards. Bribery or interest must make up 
 for the defect o/ talent. I ought to know what I say, since my 
 dtbut at Madrid, where I was hissed and cat-called as if the devil 
 had got among the grimalkins, though I ought to have been re- 
 ceived with thunders of applause ; for I whined, ranted, and offered 
 all sorts of violence to nature's modesty ; nay, I went so far as to 
 clench my fist at the heroine of the piece ; in a word, I adopted the 
 conceptions of all the great performers ; and yet that same audience
 
 124 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 condemned, by bell, book, and candle, in me, what was thought to 
 be the first style of playing in them. Such is the force of prejudice! 
 So that, being no favorite with the pit, and not Having wherewithal 
 to insinuate myself into the good graces of the manager, I am on 
 my return to Zamora. There we shall all huddle together again, 
 my wife and my fellow-comedians, who are making but little of the 
 business. I wish we may not be obliged to beg our way out of 
 town a catastrophe of too frequent occurrence 1" 
 
 At these words, up rose the stage-struck hero, slung across him 
 his knapsack and his sword, and made his exit with due theatrical 
 pomp : " Farewell, gentlemen ; may all the gods shower all their 
 bounties on your heads I" "And you," answered Diego with cor- 
 responding emphasis, " may you find your wife at Zamora, softened 
 down in her relentless virtue, and in comfortable keeping." No 
 sooner had Signer Zapata turned upon his heel, than he began ges- 
 ticulating and spouting as he went along. The barber and myself 
 immediately began hissing, to remind him of his first appearance at 
 Madrid. The goose grated harsh upon his tympanum ; he took it 
 for a repetition of signals from his old friends. But, looking behind 
 him, and seeing we were diverting ourselves at his expense, far from 
 taking offence at this merry conceit of ours, he joined with good 
 humor in the joke, and went his way, laughing as hard as he could. 
 On our part, we returned the compliment in kind. After this, we 
 got again into the high road, and pursued our journey. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 THE MEETING OF DIEGO WITH HIS FAMILY; THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES IK 
 LIFE ; GREAT REJOICINGS ON THE OCCASION ; THE PARTING SCENE 
 BETWEEN HIM AND GIL BLA8. 
 
 WE stopped for the night at a little village between Moyados 
 and Valpuesta I have forgotten the name and the next 
 morning, about eleven, we reached the plain of Olmedo. "Signor 
 Gil Bias," said my companion, " behold my native place. So natural 
 are these local attachments, that I can hardly contain myself at the 
 sight of it." "Signor Diego," answered I, "a man of so patriotic 
 a soul as you profess to be, might, methinks, have been a little more 
 florid in his descriptions. Olmedo looks like a city at this distance, 
 and you called it a village ; it cannot be anything less than a cor-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 125 
 
 porate town." " I beg its township's pardon," replied the barber ; 
 " but you are to know that after Madrid, Toledo, Saragossa, and all 
 the other large cities I have passed through in my tour of Spain, 
 these little ones are mere villages to me." As we got further on the 
 plain, there appeared to be a great concourse of people about Ol- 
 m6do ; so that, when we were near enough to distinguish objects, 
 we were in no want of food for speculation. 
 
 There were three tents pitched at some distance from each other ; 
 and, hard-by, a bevy of cooks and scullions preparing an entertain- 
 ment. Here, a party was laying covers on long tables set out under 
 the tents ; there, a detachment was crowning the pitchers of Tellus 
 with the gifts of Bacchus. The right wing was making the pots 
 boil, the left was turning the spits and basting the meat. But what 
 caught my attention more than all the rest, was a temporary stage 
 of respectable dimensions. It was furnished with pasteboard scenes, 
 painted in a tawdry style, and the proscenium was decorated with 
 Greek and Latin mottoes. No sooner did the barber spy out these 
 inscriptions, than he said to me: "All these Greek words smell 
 strongly of my uncle Thomas's lamp. I would lay a wager he has 
 a hand in them, for, between ourselves, he is a man of parts and 
 learning. He knows all the classics by heart. If he would keep 
 them to himself it would be very well, but he is always quoting them 
 in company, and that people do not like. But then, to be sure, he 
 has a right, because this uncle of mine has translated ever so many 
 of the Latin poets and hard Greek authors with his own hand and 
 pen. He has got all antiquity at his fingers' ends, as you may know 
 by his ingenious and profound criticisms. If it had not been for 
 him, we might never have learned that the Athenian schoolboys 
 cried when they were flogged; we owe that fact in the history of 
 education to his fundamental knowledge of the subject." 
 
 After my fellow-traveller and myself had looked about us, we had 
 a mind to inquire what these preparations were for. Going about 
 on the hunt, Diego recognized in the manager, Signer Thomas de la 
 Fuenta, to whom we made up with great eagerness. The school- 
 master did not recollect the young barber at first, such a difference 
 had ten years made. But when convinced of his being his own 
 flesh and blood, he gave him a cordial embrace, and said, with much 
 appearance of kindness, " Ah I here you are Diego, my dear nephew, 
 here you are, restored after your wanderings to your native land. 
 You come to revisit your household gods, your Penates ; and heaven 
 delivers you back, safe and sound, into the bosom of your family. 
 O, happy day ! happy in all the proportions of arithmetic ! a day 
 worthy to be marked with a white stone, and inserted among the 
 Fasti ! We have annals in abundance for you, my friend ; your
 
 126 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 uncle Pedro, the poetaster, has fallen a sacrifice at the shrine of 
 Pluto : to speak to the comprehension of the vulgar, he has been 
 dead these three mouths. That miser, in his lifetime, was afraid of 
 wanting necessaries Argenti pallebat amore. Though the great 
 were heaping wealth upon his head, his annual expenditure did not 
 amount to ten pistoles. He had but one miserable attendant, and 
 him he starved. This crazy fellow, more wrong-headed than Gre- 
 cian Aristippus, who ordered his slaves to leave all their costly bag- 
 gage in the heart of Lybia, as an incumbrance on their marck, 
 heaped up all the gold and silver he could scrape together. And to 
 what end ? for those very heirs whom he refused to acknowledge. 
 He died worth thirty thousand ducats, shared between your father, 
 your uncle Bertrand, and myself. We shall be able to do very well 
 for our children. My brother Nicholas has already married off your 
 sister Theresa to the son of a magistrate in this place Connubio 
 junxit stabili propriamque dicavit. These very hymeneals, greeted 
 auspiciously by all the nuptial powers, have we been celebrating for 
 these two days with all this pomp and luxury. These tents in the 
 plain are of our pitching. Pedro's three heirs have each a booth of 
 his own, and we defray the expenses of the day alternately. I wish 
 you had come sooner, you might have seen the whole progress of 
 our festivities. The day before yesterday the wedding-day your 
 father gave his treat. It was a superb entertainment, succeeded by 
 running at the ring. Your uncle, the mercer, regaled us, yesterday, 
 with a fSte champetre, and paid the piper handsomely. There were 
 ten of the best grown boys, and ten young girls, dressed out in pas- 
 toral weeds ; all the frippery in his shop was brought out to prank 
 them up. This assemblage of Ganymedes and Houris ran through 
 all the mazes of the dance, and warbled forth a thousand tender and 
 spirit-stirring lays. And yet, though nothing was ever more genteel, 
 the effect was not thought striking; but that must be owing to the 
 bad taste of the spectators the simplicity of pastoral is lost upon 
 the present age. 
 
 " To-day, the wheels are greased by your humble servant, and I 
 mean to present the burgesses of OlmSdo with a pageant of my own 
 invention Finis coronalit opus. I have got a stage erected, on which, 
 God willing, shall be represented by my scholars, a piece of my own 
 composing, entitled and called, The Amusements of Muley Bugentuf, 
 King of Morocco. It will be played to perfection, for my pupils de- 
 claim like the players of Madrid. They are lads of family at 
 Penafiel and Segovia, boarders with me. They know how to touch 
 the passions I To be sure they have rehearsed under my tuition ; 
 their emphasis will seem as if struck in the mint of their master ut 
 ita dicam. With respect to the piece I shall not say a word about
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 127 
 
 it you shall be taken by surprise. I shall simply state that it 
 must produce a deep impression on the audience. It is one of those 
 tragic subjects which harrow up the soul, by images of death pre- 
 sented to the senses in all their fearful forms. I am of Aristotle's 
 mind, terror is a principal engine. O ! if I had written for the stage, 
 I would have introduced none but bloody tyrants, and death-dis- 
 pensing heroes. Not all the perfumes of Arabia should have sweet- 
 ened this blood-polluted hand ; I would have been up to my elbows 
 in gore. There would have been tragedy with a vengeance ; prin- 
 cipal characters ! ay, guards and attendants should all have been 
 sprawling together. I would have butchered every man of them, 
 and the prompter into the bargain. In a word, I refine upon A/is- 
 totle, and border on the horrible that is my taste. These plays to 
 tear a cat in, are the only things for popularity ; the actors live 
 merrily on their own dying speeches, and the authors roll in luxury 
 on the devastation of mankind." 
 
 Just as this harangue was over, we saw a great crowd of both 
 sexes coming out of town into the plain. Who should it be, but 
 the new-married couple, attended by their families and friends, with 
 ten or twelve musicians in the van, producing a most obstreperous 
 din of harmony. We went up to them, and Diego introduced him- 
 self. Peals of congratulation were immediately rung through the 
 assembly, and every one was eager to shake him by the hand. He 
 haa enough upon his shoulders to receive all their fraternal em- 
 braces. Relations and strangers, all were for having a pull at him. 
 At length his father said : "You are welcome, Diego. You find your 
 kinsmen living upon the fat of the land, my friend. I shall say no 
 more at present : a nod is as good as a wink." Meanwhile the com- 
 pany went forward upon the plain, took their stations under the 
 tents, and sat down to table. I kept close to my companion, and we 
 both dined with the happy couple, who appeared to be suitably 
 matched. The meal was not soon over, for the schoolmaster had 
 the vanity to give three courses, for the purpose of cutting out 
 his brothers, who had not been so magnificent in their hospital- 
 ities. 
 
 After the banquet, all the guests expressed their longings to see 
 Signor Thomas's play, not doubting but the performance of so ex- 
 traordinary a genius would deserve all their ears. We came in front 
 of the stage; the musicians had taken possession of the orchestra, 
 for the overture and act-tunes. While every one was waiting in 
 profound silence for the rising of the curtain, the actors appeared on 
 the boards; and the author, with the piece in his hand, sat down at 
 the wing, in the prompter's place. Well might he call it a tragedy; 
 for, in the first act, the King of Morocco, by way of diversion, shot
 
 128 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 an hundred Moorish slaves with arrows ; in the second, he beheaded 
 thirty Portuguese officers, taken prisoners by one of his captains; in 
 the third and last, this monarch, surfeited with long-indulged liber- 
 tinism, set fire with his own hands to the seraglio where his wives 
 were confined, and reduced it to ashes with its inhabitants. The 
 Moorish slaves, as well as the Portuguese officers, were puppets on 
 a very curious construction ; and the palace, built of pasteboard, 
 looked very naturally in flames by means of an artificial firework. 
 This conflagration, accompanied by a thousand piercing cries, 
 issuing from the ruins, concluded the piece, and the curtain dropped 
 upon this amiable entertainment. The whole plain resounded with 
 the applause of this fine tragedy, which spoke for the good taste of 
 the poet, and proved that he knew where to look out for a subject. 
 
 I did not suppose there was anything more to be seen after The 
 Amusements of Mvley Bugentuf ; but I was mistaken. Kettle-drums 
 and trumpets announced a new exhibition the distribution of 
 prizes for Thomas de la Fuenta, to give additional solemnity to 
 his Olympics, had made all his boys, as well as day-scholars and 
 boarders, write exercises ; and on this occasion he was to give to 
 those who had succeeded best, books bought at Segovia out of 
 his own pocket. All at once were brought upon the stage two long 
 forms out of the school, with a press, full of old, worm-eaten books, 
 in fine, new bindings. At this signal, all the actors returned upon 
 the stage, and took their places round Signer Thomas, who looked 
 as big as the haad of a college. He had a sheet of paper in his 
 hand, with the names of the successful candidates. This he gave 
 to the King of Morocco, who began calling over the list with an 
 authoritative voice. Each scholar, answering to his name, went 
 humbly to receive a book from the hands of the bum-jerker ; after 
 this, he was crowned with laurel, and seated on one of the two 
 benches, to be exposed to the gaze of the admiring company. Yet, 
 desirous as the schoolmaster might be to send the spectators away 
 in good humcr, he brought his eggs to a bad market ; for, having 
 distributed almost all the prizes to the boarders, according to the 
 usual etiquette of pedagogues, that those who pay most must neces- 
 sarily be the cleverest fellows, the mammas of certain day-scholars 
 caught fire at this instance of partiality, and fell foul of the discip- 
 linarian thereupon : so that the festival, hitherto so much to the 
 glory of the donor, seemed likely to have ended to the same tune aa 
 the carousal of the Lapithae.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 129 
 
 BOOK III. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 THE ARRIVAL OF GIL BLAS AT MADRID. HIS FIRST PLACE THERE. 
 
 I MADE some stay with the young barber. At my departure, I 
 met with a traveller of Segovia, passing through Ohnedo. He 
 was returning with four mules from a trading expedition to Vallado- 
 Hd, and took me by way of back carriage. We got acquainted on the 
 road, and he took such a fancy to me, that nothing would serve him 
 but I must be his guest at Segovia. He gave me free quarters for two 
 days, and when he found me determined to leave him for Madrid 
 under convoy of a muleteer, he gave me a letter, begging me to de- 
 liver it in person according to the superscription, not hinting that 
 it was a letter of recommendation. I was punctual in calling on 
 Signer Matheo Melendez. He was a woollen-draper, living at the gate 
 of the Sun, at the corner of Trunkmaker street. No sooner had he 
 broken the cover and read the contents, than he said, with an air of 
 complacency, " Signer Gil Bias, my correspondent, Pedro Palacio, 
 has written me so pressingly in your favor, that I cannot do other- 
 wise than offer you a bed at my house ; moreover, he desires me to 
 find you a good master, and I undertake the commission with plea- 
 sure. I have no doubt of suiting you to a hair." 
 
 I embraced the offer of Melendez the more gratefully because my 
 funds were getting much below par ; but I was not long a burden 
 on his hospitality. At the week's end he told me that he had men- 
 tioned my name to a gentleman of his acquaintance, who wanted a 
 valet-de-chambre, and, according to present appearances, the place 
 would not be long vacant. In fact, this gentleman happened to 
 make his appearance in the very nick. "Sir," said Melendez, push- 
 ing me forward, "you see before you the young man as by former 
 advice. He is a pupil of honor and integrity. I can answer for 
 him as if he was one of my own family." The gentleman looked at 
 me with attention, said that my face was in my favor, and hired me 
 at once. "He has nothing to do but to follow me," added he; "I 
 will put him into the routine of his employment." At these words 
 he wished the tradesman good-morning, and took me into the 
 High street, directly over against St. Philip's Church. We went 
 into a very handsome house, of which he occupied one wing ; then, 
 going up five or six steps, he took me into a room secured by strong
 
 130 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 double doors, with an iron grate between. From this room we went 
 into another, with a bed and other furniture, rather neat than 
 gaudy. 
 
 If my new master had examined me closely, I had all my wits 
 about me as well as he. He was a man on the wrong side of fifty, 
 with a saturnine and serious air. His temper seemed to be even, 
 and I thought no harm of him. He asked me several questions 
 about my family, and, liking my answers, " Gil Bias," said he, " I 
 take you to be a very sensible lad, and am well pleased to have you 
 in my service. On your part, you shall have no reason to complain. 
 I will give you six rials a day board wages, besides vails. Then I 
 require no great attendance, for I keep no table, but always dine 
 out. You will only have to brush my clothes, and be your own 
 master for the rest of the day. Only take care to be at home early 
 in the evening, and to be in waiting at the door that is your chief 
 duty." After this lecture, he took six rials out of his purse, and 
 gave them to me as an earnest. We then went out ; he locked the 
 doors after him, and, taking care of the keys, " My friend," said he, 
 " you need not go with me : follow the devices of your own heart ; 
 but on my return this evening, let me find you on that staircase." 
 With this injunction, he left me to dispose of myself as seemed best 
 in my own eyes. 
 
 "In good sooth, Gil Bias," said I in a soliloquy, "you have got 
 a jewel of a master. What ! fall in with an employer to give you 
 six rials a day for wiping off the dust from his clothes, and putting 
 his room to rights in the morning, with the liberty of walking 
 about and taking your pleasure like a schoolboy in the holidays ! 
 By my troth ! it is a place of ten thousand. No wonder I was in a 
 hurry to get to Madrid ; it was doubtless some mysterious boding of 
 good fortune prepared for me." I spent the day in the streets, 
 diverting myself with gaping at novelties a busy occupation. In 
 the evening, after supping at an ordinary not far from our house, I 
 squatted myself down in the corner pointed out by my master. He 
 came three quarters of an hour after me, and seemed pleased with 
 my punctuality. "Very well," said he; "this is right: I like 
 attentive servants." At these words he opened the doors of his apart- 
 ment, and closed them upon us again as soon as we got in. As we 
 had no candle, he took his tinder-box and struck a light. I then 
 helped him to undress. When he was in bed, I lighted, by his 
 order, a lamp in his chimney, and carried the wax-light into the 
 ante-chamber, where I lay in a press-bed without curtains. He got 
 up the next day between nine and ten o'clock. I brushed his 
 clothes. He paid me my six rials, and sent me packing till the 
 evening. My mysterious master went out himself, too, not without
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 131 
 
 great caution in fastening the doors, and we parted for the remain- 
 der of the day. 
 
 Such was the course of life, very agreeable to me. The best 
 of the joke was, that I did not know my master's name. Melendez 
 did not know it himself. The gentleman came to his shop now and 
 then, and bought a piece of cloth. My neighbors were as much at 
 a loss as myself ; they all assured me that my master was a perfect 
 stranger, though he had lived two years in the ward. He visited no 
 soul in the neighborhood, and some of them, a little given to scan- 
 dal, concluded him to be no better than he should be. Suspicions 
 got to be more rife ; he was suspected of being a spy of Portugal, 
 and it was thought but fair play to give a hint for my own good. 
 This intimation troubled me. Thought I to myself, should this 
 turn out to be a fact, I stand a chance for seeing the inside of a 
 prison at Madrid. My innocence will be no security ; my past ill- 
 usage makes me look on justice with antipathy. Twice have I ex- 
 perienced that if the innocent are not condemned in a lump with 
 the guilty, at least the rights of hospitality are too little regarded in 
 their persons to make it pleasant to pass a summer in the purlieus 
 of the law. 
 
 1 consulted Melendez in so delicate a conjecture. He was at a 
 loss how to advise me. Though he could not bring himself to be- 
 lieve that my master was a spy, he had no reason to be confident on 
 the other side of the question. 1 determined to watch my employer, 
 and to leave him if he turned out to be an enemy of the state; but 
 then prudence and personal comfort required me to be certain of my 
 fact. 1 began, therefore, to pry into his actions ; and, to sound him, 
 " Sir," said 1 one evening while he was undressing, " I do not know 
 how one ought to live so as to be secure from reflections. The world 
 is very scurrilous I We, among others, have neighbors not worth a 
 curse. Sad dogs ! You have no notion how they talk of us." " Do 
 they indeed, Gil Bias ?" quoth he. " Be it so 1 but what can they 
 say of us, my friend ?" "Ah 1 truly," replied I, " evil tongues never 
 want a whet. Virtue herself furnishes weapons for her own mar- 
 tyrdom. Our neighbors say that we are dangerous people, that we 
 ought to be looked after by government ; in a word, you are taken 
 for a spy of Portugal." In throwing out this hint, I looked hard at 
 my master, just as Alexander squinted at his physician, and pursed 
 up all my penetration to remark upon the effect of my intelligence. 
 There seemed to be a hitch in the muscles of my mysterious lord, 
 altogether in unison with the suspicions of the neighborhood, and he 
 fell into a brown study, which bore no very auspicious interpretation. 
 However, he put a better face on the matter, and said, with sufficient 
 composure: "Gil Bias, leave our neighbors to discourse as thej
 
 132 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 please, but let not our repose depend on their judgments. Never 
 mind what they think of us, provided our own consciences do not 
 wince." 
 
 Hereupon he went to bed, and 1 did the like, without knowing 
 what course to take. The next day, just as we were on the point of 
 going out in the morning, we heard a violent knocking at the outer 
 door on the staircase. My master opened the inner, and looked 
 through the grate. A well-dressed man said to him : " Please your 
 honor, I am an alguazil, come to inform you that Mr. Corregidor 
 wishes to speak a word with you." " What does he want?" answered 
 my pattern of secresy. "That is more than I know, sir," replied 
 the alguazil ; "but you have only to go and wait on him ; you will 
 soon be informed." "I am his most obedient,'' quoth my master; 
 " 1 have no business with him." At the tale of this speech, he 
 banged the inner door ; then, after walking up and down a little 
 while, like one who pondered on the discourse of the alguazil, he 
 put my six rials into my hand, and said : " Gil Bias, you may go 
 out, my friend ; for my part, I shall stay at home a little longer, but 
 have no occasion for you." He made an impression on my mind, by 
 these words, that he was afraid of being taken up, and was, there- 
 fore, obliged to remain in his apartments. I left him there ; and, 
 to see how far my suspicions were founded, hid myself in a place 
 whence I could see if he went out. I should have had patience to 
 have staid there all the morning, if he had not saved me the trouble. 
 But an hour after, I saw him walk the street with an ease and con- 
 fidence which dumbfounded my sagacity. Yet far from yielding to 
 these appearances, I mistrusted them ; for my verdict went to con- 
 demnation. I considered his easy carriage as put on, and his staying 
 at home as a finesse to secure his gold and jewels, when probably he 
 was going to consult his safety by speedy flight. I had no idea of 
 seeing him again, and doubted whether I should attend at his door 
 in the evening ; so persuaded was 1, that the day would see him on 
 the outside of the city, as his only refuge from impending danger. 
 Yet I kept my appointment; when, to my extreme surprise, my 
 master returned as usual. He went to bed without betraying the 
 least uneasiness, and got up the next morning with the same com- 
 posure. 
 
 Just as he had finished dressing, another knock at the door ! My 
 master looked through the grate. His friend the alguazil was there 
 again, and he asked him what he wanted. "Open the door," an- 
 swered the alguazil ; " here is Mr. Corregidor." At this dreadful 
 name, my blood froze in my veins. I had a devilish loathing of 
 those gentry since I had passed through their hands, and could have 
 wished myself at that moment an hundred leagues from Madrid.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 133 
 
 As for my employer, less startled than myself, he opened the door, 
 and received the magistrate respectfully. " You see," said the cor- 
 regidor, " that I do not break in upon you with a whole posse : my 
 maxim is to do business in a quiet way. In spite of the ugly reports 
 circulated about you in the city, I think you deserve some little 
 attention. What is your name, and business at Madrid ?" " Sir," 
 answered my master, " I am from New Castile, and my title is Don 
 Bernard de Castil Blazo. With respect to my way of life, I lounge 
 about, frequent public places, and take my daily pleasure in a select 
 circle of polite company." " Of course you have a handsome for- 
 tune!" replied the judge. " No, sir," interrupted my Mecenas; "I 
 have neither annuities, nor lands, nor houses." " How do you live, 
 then ?" rejoined the corregidor. " I will show you,-" replied Don 
 Bernard. At the same time he lifted up a part of the hangings, 
 before a door J had not observed, opened that and one beyond, then 
 took the magistrate into a closet containing a large chest chuck-full 
 of gold. 
 
 " Sir," said he, again, " you know that the Spaniards are prover- 
 bially indolent ; yet, whatever may be their general dislike to labor, 
 I may compliment myself on bettering the example. I have a stock 
 of laziness, which disqualifies me for all exertion. If I had a mind 
 to puff my vices into virtues, I might call this sloth of mine a philo- 
 sophical indifference, the work of a mind weaned from all that 
 worldlings court with so much ardor; but I will frankly own myself 
 constitutionally lazy, and so lazy, that, rather than work for my 
 subsistence, I would lay myself down and starve. Therefore, to lead 
 a life befitting my fancy, not to have the trouble of looking after my 
 affairs, and, above all, to do without a steward, I have converted all 
 my patrimony, consisting of several considerable estates, into ready 
 money. In this chest there are fifty thousand ducats ; more than 
 enough for the remainder of my days, should I live to be an hun- 
 dred ! For I do not spend a thousand a year, and am already more 
 than fifty years old. I have no fears, therefore, for futurity, since I 
 am not addicted, Heaven be praised I to any one of the three things 
 which usually ruin men. I care little for the pleasures of the table; 
 I only play for my amusement ; and I have given up women. There 
 is no chance of my being reckoned in my old age among those libi- 
 dinous gray birds to whom jilts sell their favors by troy weight." 
 
 " You are a happy man !" said the corregidor. " They are in the 
 wrong to suspect you of being a spy ; that office is quite out of char- 
 acter for a man like you. Take your own course, Don Bernard ; 
 continue to live as you like. Far from disturbing your peace, I de- 
 clare myself your protector; I request your friendship, and pledge 
 my own." "Ah! sir," exclaimed my master, thrilled with these
 
 134 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 kind expressions, " I accept, with equal joy and gratitude, your pre- 
 cious offer. In giving me your friendship, you augment my wealth, 
 and carry my happiness to its height." After this conversation, 
 which the alguazil and myself heard from the closet-door, the cor- 
 regidor took his leave of Don Bernard, who could not do enough to 
 express his sense of the obligation. On my part, mimicking my 
 master in doing the honors of the house, I overburdened the algu- 
 azil with civilities. I made him a thousand low bows, though I 
 felt for him in my sleeve the contempt and hatred which every 
 honest man naturally entertains for an alguazil. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE ASTONISHMENT OF GIL BLAS AT MEETING CAPTAIN ROLANDO IN 
 MADRID, AND THAT ROBBER'S CURIOUS NARRATIVE. 
 
 DON BERNARD DE CASTIL BLAZO, having attended the 
 corregidor to the street, returned in a hurry to fasten his 
 strong box, and all the doors which secured it. We then went out, 
 both of us well satisfied ; he at having acquired a friend in power, 
 and myself at finding my six rials a day secured to me. The desire 
 of relating this adventure to Melendez made me bend my steps 
 towards his house ; but, near my journey's end, whom should I meet 
 but Captain Rolando ! My surprise was extreme, and I could not 
 help quaking at the sight of him. He recollected me at once, 
 accosted me gravely, and, still keeping up his tone of superiority, 
 ordered me to follow him. I tremblingly obeyed, saying inwardly, 
 "Alas ! he means, doubtless, to make me pay my debts ! Whither 
 will he lead me? There may perhaps be some subterraneous retreat 
 in this city. Hague take it ! If I thought so, I would soon show 
 him that I have not got the gout." I walked therefore behind 
 him, carefully looking out where he might stop, with the pious de- 
 sign of putting my best leg foremost, if there was anything in the 
 shape of a trap-door. 
 
 Rolando soon dispersed my alarms. He went into a well-fre- 
 quented tavern; I followed him. He called for the best wine, and 
 ordered dinner. While it was getting ready, we went into a private 
 room, where the captain addressed me as follows: "You may well 
 be astonished, Gil Bias, to renew your acquaintance with your old 
 commander; and you will be still more so when you have heard my
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 135 
 
 tale. The day I left you in the cave, and went with my troop to 
 Mansilla, for the purpose of selling the mules and horses we had 
 taken the evening before, we met the son of the corregidor of Leon, 
 attended by four men on horseback, well armed, following his car- 
 riage. Two of his people we made to bite the dust, and the other 
 two ran away. On this, the coachman, alarmed for his master, cried 
 out to us in a tone of supplication, ' Alas ! my dear gentlemen, in 
 God's name, do not kill the only son of his worship, the corregidor 
 of Leon.' These words were far from softening my comrades ; on 
 the contrary, their fury knew no bounds. ' Good folks/ said one of 
 them, ' let not the son of a mortal enemy to men like us escape our 
 vengeance. How many ornaments of our profession has his father 
 cut off in their prime ! Let us repay his cruelty with interest, and 
 sacrifice this victim to their offended ghosts.' The whole troop ap- 
 plauded the fineness of this feeling, and my lieutenant himself was 
 preparing to act as high priest at this unhallowed altar, when I in- 
 terdicted the rites. ' Stop !' said I ; ' why shed blood without occa- 
 sion ? Let us rest contented with the youth's purse. As he makes 
 no resistance, it would be against the laws of war to cut his throat. 
 Besides, he is not answerable for his father's misdeeds; nay, his 
 father only does his duty in condemning us to death, as we do ours 
 in rifling travellers.' 
 
 " Thus did I plead for the corregidor's son, and my intercession 
 was not unavailing. We only took every farthing of his money, 
 and carried off with us the horses of the two men whom we had 
 slain. These we sold with the rest at Mansilla. Thence we re- 
 turned to the cavern, where we arrived the following morning, a 
 little before daybreak. We were not a little surprised to find the 
 trap open, and still more so, when we found Leonarda handcuffed in 
 the kitchen. She unravelled the mystery in two words. We won- 
 dered how you could have overreached us ; no one could have 
 thought you capable of serving us such a trick, and we forgave the 
 effect for the merit of the invention. As soon as we had released 
 our kitchen wench, I gave orders for a good luncheon. In the 
 meantime we went to look after our horses in the stable, where the 
 old negro, who had been left to himself for four and twenty hours, 
 was at the last gasp. We did all we could for his relief, but he 
 was too far gone; indeed, so much reduced, that, in spite of our 
 endeavors, we left the poor devil on the threshold of another 
 world. It was very sad; but it did not spoil our appetites; and, 
 after an abundant breakfast, we retired to our chambers, and 
 slept away the whole day. On our awaking, Leonarda apprised 
 us that Domingo had paid the debt of nature. We carried him to 
 the charnel-house, where you may recollect to have lodged, and
 
 136 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 there performed his obsequies, just as if he had been one of our 
 own order. 
 
 " Five or six days afterwards, it fell out that, one morning on a 
 sally, we encountered three companies of the holy brotherhood, on 
 the outskirts of the wood. They seemed waiting to attack us. We 
 perceived but one troop at first. These we despised, though supe- 
 rior in number to our party, and rushed forward to the onset. 
 But, while we were at loggerheads with the first, the two others in 
 ambuscade came thundering down upon us; so that our valor was 
 of no use. There was no withstanding such a host of enemies. Our 
 lieutenant and two of our gang gave up the ghost on this occasion. 
 As for the two others and myself, we were so closely pressed and 
 hemmed in, as to be taken prisoners; and, while two detachments 
 convoyed us to Leon, the third went to destroy our retreat. How it 
 was discovered, I will briefly tell you. A peasant of Luceno, cross- 
 ing the forest, on his way home, by chance espied the trap-door of 
 our subterraneous residence, which a certain young runaway had 
 not shut down after him, for it was precisely the day when you took 
 yourself off with the lady. He had a violent suspicion of its being 
 our abode, without having the courage to go in. It was enough to 
 mark the adjacent parts, by lightly peeling, with his knife, bark 
 from the nearest trees, and so on from distance to distance, till he 
 was quite out of the wood. He then betook himself to Leon, with 
 this grand discovery for the corregidor, who was so much the better 
 pleased, as his son had been robbed by our gang. This magistrate 
 collected together three companies, to lay hold of us, and the peas- 
 ant showed them the way. 
 
 " My arrival in the town of Leon was as good as that of a wild 
 beast to the inhabitants. Even though I had been a Portuguese 
 general, made prisoner of war, the people could not have been more 
 anxious to see me. 'There he goes!' was the cry: 'that is he, the 
 famous captain, the terror of these parts J It would serve him right 
 to tear him, piecemeal, with pincers, and make his comrades join in 
 the chorus. To the corregidor!' was the universal cry; and his 
 worship began insulting me. ' So, so !' said he, ' scoundrel as you 
 are, the powers of justice, worn to a thread with your past irregular- 
 ities, hand over the task of punishment to me, as their delegate.' 
 'Sir,' answered I, 'great as my crimes may have been, at least, the 
 death of your only son is not to be laid at my door. His life was 
 s>aved by me; you owe me some acknowledgment on that score.' 
 'Oh! wretch,' exclaimed he, 'there are no measures to be kept with 
 people of your description. And, though it were my wish to save 
 you, my sacred office would not allow me to indulge my feelings.' 
 Having spoken to this effect, he committed us to a dungeon, where
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 187 
 
 my companions had no time to lament their hard fate. They got 
 out of confinement, at the end of three days, to expatiate, with tragic 
 energy, at the place of execution. For my part, I took up my 
 quarters in limbo, for three complete weeks. My punishment, seem- 
 ingly, was deferred, only to render it more terrible; and I was look- 
 ing out for some refinement on the ordinary course of criminal jus- 
 tice, when the corregido'r, having summoned me before him, said, 
 'Give ear to your sentence. You are free. Had it not been for you, my 
 only son would have been assassinated on the highway. As a 
 father, my gratitude was due for this service ; but not being compe- 
 tent to acquit you in my capacity of a magistrate, I have written up 
 to court in your favor ; have solicited your pardon, and have 
 obtained it. Go, then, whithersoever it may seem good to you. But 
 take my advice ; profit by this lucky escape. Look to your paths, 
 and give up the trade of a highwayman for good and all.' 
 
 "I was deeply impressed by this advice, and took my departure 
 for Madrid, in the firm determination of mending my ways, and 
 living quietly in that city. There I found my father and mother 
 dead, and what they left behind them in the hands of an old kins- 
 man, who administered duly and truly, as all trustees of course do. 
 I saved three thousand ducats out of the fire scarcely a quarter of 
 what I was entitled to. But where was the remedy ? There was no 
 standing to the quirks and evasions of the law. Just to be doing 
 something, I have purchased an alguazil's place. My colleagues 
 would have set their faces against my admission, for the honor of 
 the cloth, had they known my history. Luckily they did not, or at 
 least affected not to know it, which was just as good as the reality ; 
 for, in that illustrious body, it is the bounden duty and interest of 
 every member to wear a mask. The pot cannot call the kettle hard 
 names, thank heaven. The devil would have no great catch in the 
 best of us. And yet, my friend, I could willingly unbosom myself 
 to you without disguise. My present occupation is much against 
 the grain ; it requires too circumspect and too mysterious a conduct; 
 there is nothing to be done but by underhand dealings, gravity, and 
 cunning. O ! for my first trade ! The new one is safer, to be sure ; 
 but there is more fun in the other, and liberty is my motto. I feel 
 disposed to get rid of my office, and to set out, some sunshiny morn- 
 ing, for the mountains at the source of the Tagus. I know of a 
 retreat thereabouts, inhabited by a numereus gang, composed chiefly 
 of Catalonians; when I have said that, I need say no more. If you 
 will go along with me, we will swell the number of those heroes. I 
 shall be second in command. To make your footing respectable at 
 once, I will swear that you have fought ten times by my side. Your 
 valor shall mount to the very skies. I will tell more good of you
 
 138 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 than a. commander-in-chief of a favorite officer. I will not say a 
 word about the runaway trick ; that would render you suspected of 
 turning nose therefore, mum is the word. What say you to it? 
 Are you ready to set off? I am impatient to know your mind." 
 
 " Every one to his own fancy," said I, then, to Rolando ; " you were 
 born 1'or bold exploits, and your friend for a serene and quiet life." 
 " I understand you," interrupted he ; " the lady whom love induced 
 you to carry off, still preserves her influence over your heart, and 
 you doubtless lead with her that serene life of which you are enam- 
 ored. Own the truth, Master Gil Bias ; she is become a thing of 
 your own, and you are both living on the pistoles carried off from 
 the subterraneous retreat." I told him he was mistaken ; and, to 
 set him right, related the lady's adventures and my own, while we 
 sat at dinner. When our meal was finished, he led back to the sub- 
 ject of the Catalonians, and attempted once more to engage me in 
 his project. But rinding me inflexible, he looked at me with a ter- 
 rific frown, and said seriously, "Since you are dastard enough to 
 prefer your servile condition to the honor of enlisting in a troop of 
 brave fellows, I turn you adrift to your own grovelling inclinations. 
 But mark me well ; a lapse may be fatal. Forget our meeting of to- 
 day, and never prate about me to any living t>oul ; for if I catch you 
 bandying about my name in your idle talk .... you know my 
 ways, I need say no more." With these words, he called for the 
 landlord, paid the reckoning, and we rose from the table to go away. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 GIL BLAS IS DISMISSED BY DON BERNARD DE CASTIL BLAZO, AND 
 ENTERS INTO THE SERVICE OF A BEAU. 
 
 ~T~UST as we were coming out of the tavern, and taking our leave, 
 *J my master was passing along the street. He saw me, and I 
 observed him look more than once at the captain. I had no doubt 
 but he was surprised at meeting me in such company. It is certain 
 that Rolando's physiognomy and air were not much in favor of 
 moral qualities. He was a gigantic fellow, with a long face, a 
 parrot's beak, and a very rascally contour, without being absolutely 
 
 ugly. 
 
 I was not mistaken in my guess. In the evening, I found Don 
 Bernard harping on the captain's figure, and charmingly disposed to
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 139 
 
 believe all the fine things I could have said of him, if my tongue 
 had not been tied. " Gil Bias," said he, " who is that great shark I 
 saw with you awhile ago?" I told him it was an alguazil, and 
 thought to have got off with that answer ; but he returned to the 
 charge ; and observing my confusion, from the remembrance of the 
 threats used by Rolando, broke off the conversation abruptly and 
 went to bed. The next morning, when I had performed my ordi- 
 nary duties, he counted me over six ducats instead of six rials, and 
 said, " Here, my friend, that is what I give you for your services up 
 to this day. Go and look out for another place. A servant keeping 
 such high company is too much for me." I bethought myself of 
 saying, in my own defence, that I had known that alguazil, by hav- 
 ing prescribed for him at Valladolid, while I was practicing medi- 
 cine. " Very good," replied my master ; " the shift is ingenious 
 enough ; you might have thought of it last night, and not have 
 looked so foolish." "Sir," rejoined I, "in good truth, prudence 
 kept me silent, and gave to my reserve the aspect of guilt." " Un- 
 doubtedly," resumed he, tapping me softly on the shoulder, " it was 
 carrying prudence very far, even to the confines of cunning. Go, 
 lad ; I have no further occasion for your services." 
 
 I went immediately to acquaint Melendez with the bad news, who 
 told me, for my comfort, that he would engage to procure me a bet- 
 ter berth. Indeed, some days after, he said, " Gil Bias, my friend, 
 you have no notion of the good luck in store for you. You will 
 have the most agreeable post in the world. I am going to settle 
 you with Don Matthias de Silva. He is a man of the first fashion 
 one of those young noblemen commonly distinguished by the ap- 
 pellation of beaus. I have the honor of his custom. He takes up 
 goods of me, on tick, indeed ; but these great men are good pay in 
 the long run : they often marry rich heiresses, and then old scores 
 are wiped off; or, should that fail, a tradesman who understands his 
 business, puts such a price upon his articles, that if three fourths of 
 his debts are bad, he is no loser. Don Matthias's steward is my 
 intimate friend. Let us go and look for him. It will be for him 
 to present you to his master ; and you may rely upon it, that, for 
 my sake, he will treat you with high consideration." 
 
 As we were on our way to Don Matthias's house, this honest 
 shopkeeper said, " It is fit, methinks, that you should be let into 
 the steward's character. His name is Gregorio Rodriguez. Between 
 ourselves, he is a man of low birth, with a talent for intrigue, in 
 which vocation he has labored, till a stewardship in two distressed 
 families completed their ruin and made his fortune. I give you 
 notice, that his vanity is excessive; he loves to see the under-ser- 
 vants creeping and crawling at his feet. It is with him they must
 
 MO ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 make interest, if they have any favor to beg of their master ; for, 
 should they happen to obtain it without his interference, he has 
 always some shift or other at hand to get the boon revoked, or, at 
 least, render it of no avail. Kegulate your conduct on this hint, 
 Gil Bias ; pay court to Signor Rodriguez in preference to your mas- 
 ter himself, and leave no stone unturned to get into his good graces. 
 His friendship will be of material service to you. He will pay 
 your wages to the day ; and, if you have management enough to 
 worm yourself into his confidence, you may chance to pick up some 
 of the fragments which fall from his table There are enough for a 
 hungrier dog than you ! Don Matthias is a young nobleman, with 
 no thought to throw away but on his pleasures, nor the slightest 
 suspicion how his own affairs are going on. What a house for a 
 steward who knows how to be a steward !" 
 
 When we got to our journey's end, we asked to speak with Signor 
 Eodriguez. We were told that we should find him in his own 
 apartment. There he was, sure ejnough, and with him a clownish 
 sort of fellow, holding a blue bag, full of money. The steward, 
 looking more wan and yellow than a girl in a hurry for a husband, 
 ran up to Melendez with open arms ; the draper was not behind- 
 hand with him, and they each hugged the other, with a show of 
 friendship, at least, as much indebted to art as to nature for its 
 plausible effect. After this, the next question was about me. 
 Rodriguez examined me from top to toe, saying very civilly, at the 
 same time, that I was just such an one as Don Matthias wanted, 
 and that he would with pleasure take upon himself to present me to 
 that nobleman. Thereupon Melendez gave him to understand how 
 deeply he was interested in my behalf. He begged the steward to 
 take me under his protection ; and, leaving me with him, after 
 plenty of compliments, withdrew, As soon as he was gone out, 
 Rodriguez said, " I will introduce you to my master the moment I 
 have despatched this honest husbandman." He called the country- 
 man to him forthwith, and, taking his bag, " Talego," said he, " let 
 us see if the five hundred pistoles are all right." He counted over 
 the money himself. As the sum was found to be exact, the country- 
 man took a receipt, and went away. The cash was put back again 
 into the bag. It was my turn next to be attended to. " We may 
 now," said my new patron, "go to my master's levee. He usually 
 gets up about noon ; it is now near one o'clock, and must be day- 
 light in his apartment." 
 
 Don Matthias had, indeed, just risen. He was still in his morn- 
 ing-gown, kicking his heels in a great chair, with a leg tossed over 
 one of the elbows, swinging backward and forward, and manufac- 
 turing his own snuff. His conversation was addressed to a footman.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 141 
 
 in waiting, who officiated as a temporary valet de chambre. "My 
 lord," said the steward, " here is a young man whom I take the 
 liberty of presenting to your lordship, in the place of him you dis- 
 charged the day before yesterday. Your draper, Melendez, has 
 given him a character ; he undertakes for his qualifications, and I 
 believe you will be very well pleased with him." " That is enough," 
 answered the young nobleman, " since he has your recommendation. 
 I adopt him blindfold into my own retinue. He is my valet de 
 chambre at once ; that business is settled. Let. us talk of other 
 matters, Rodriguez. You are come just in time. I was going to 
 send for you. I have a budget of bad news, my dear Rodriguez I 
 played with ill luck last night : an hundred pistoles in my pocket 
 lost, and two hundred more on credit. You know how indispensable 
 it is for persons of high rank to pay their debts of honor. As for 
 any other, it is no matter when they are paid. Punctuality is all 
 very well between one tradesman and another, but they cannot ex- 
 pect it from one of us. These two hundred pistoles must be raised 
 forthwith, and sent to the Countess de Pedrosa." " Sir," quoth the 
 steward, " that is sooner said than done. Where, prythee, am I 
 to get such a sum ? Threaten as I will, I never touch a maravedi 
 from your tenants. And yet your establishment is to be kept up in 
 style, and I am wearing myself to a thread in furnishing the ways 
 and means. It is true that hitherto, Heaven be praised J we have 
 rubbed on ; but what witch to conjure for a wind now, I know not ; 
 the case is desperate." " All this prosing is extremely impertinent," 
 interrupted Don Matthias ; " this counting-house talk makes me 
 hideously nervous. So, then, Rodriguez, you really think to under- 
 take my reform, and metamorphose me into a plodding manager of 
 my own estate ? A very elegant sort of pastime for a man in my 
 station of life a man of rank and fashion !" " Grant me patience," 
 replied the steward ; " at the rate we are driving now, it is easily cal- 
 culated how soon you will be released from all those cares/' " You 
 are a very great bore," resumed the young nobleman, rather peev- 
 ishly; " this brutal importunity is downright murder to one's feelings. 
 I hate loud music ; be so good as to let me be ruined pianissimo. I 
 tell you I want two hundred pistoles, and I must have them." 
 " Why, then," said Rodriguez, " we must have recourse to the old 
 rascal who has lent you so much already on usurious terms." 
 " Have recourse to the devil, if he will do you any good," answered 
 Don Matthias; "only let me have" two hundred pistoles, and it is 
 the same thing to me how you manage to get them." 
 
 While he was uttering these words in a hasty and fretful tone, the 
 steward went out, and Don Antonio Centelles, a young man of qua- 
 lity, came in. " What is the matter, my friend ?" said this last to
 
 H2 ADVEi\TURES OF GIL Bf.Af!. 
 
 my master; "your atmosphere is overcast; I trace passion in the 
 lines of your countenance. Who can have ruffled that sweet tem- 
 per ? I would lay a wager it was that booby just gone out." ' ; Yes," 
 answered Don Matthias, ''he is my steward. Every time he comes 
 to speak to me I am in agony for a quarter of an hour or twenty 
 minutes. He rings the changes on the state of my affairs, and tells 
 me that I am spending principal and interest. ... A beast ! He 
 will say next that I have ruined him into the bargain I" " My dear 
 fellow \" replied Don Antonio, " I am exactly in the same situation. 
 My man of business is just such another scarecrow as ycur steward. 
 When the sneaking scoundrel, after repeated demands, brings me 
 some niggardly supply, it is just as if he was lending me his own. 
 He expostulates most barbarously. ' Sir,' says he, ' you are going 
 to rack and ruin ; there is an execution out against you.' I am 
 obliged to cut him short, and beg him to remonstrate in epitome." 
 " The worst of it is," said Don Matthias, " that there is no doing 
 without these fellows ; they are the penance attached to our elegant 
 indiscretions." "Just so," replied Centelles. . . . "But listen," 
 pursued he, bursting into a fit of laughter ; "a pleasant idea has just 
 struck me. Nothing was ever more farcically fancied. We may 
 introduce a bujfo caricato into our serious opera, and relieve the 
 knell of our departed goods and chattels with a humorous divertise- 
 ment. The plot is thus : Let me try to borrow from your steward 
 whatever you want. You shall do the same with my man of busi- 
 ness. Then let them both preach as they please ; we shall hearken 
 with the utmost composure. Your steward will come and open his 
 case to me; my man of business will plead the poverty of the land 
 to you. I shall hear of nothing but your extravagance, and you 
 will see your own in mine as in & glass. It will be vastly enter- 
 taining." 
 
 A thousand brilliant conceits followed this flight of genius, and 
 'put the young patricians into high spirits, so that they kept up the 
 ball with vivacity, if not with wit. Their conversation was interrupted 
 by Gregorio Rodriguez, who brought back with him a little old bald- 
 headed man. Don Antonio was for moving off. " Farewell, Don Mat- 
 thias," said he ; " we shall meet again anon. I leave you with these 
 gentlemen ; you have, doubtless, some state affairs to discuss in coun- 
 cil." " Oh, no, no," answered my master, " you had better stop ; you 
 will not interrupt us. This warm old gentleman has the moderation 
 to lend me money at twenty per Cent." " What, at twenty per cent. 1" 
 exclaimed Centelles, in a tone of astonishment. " In good truth, I 
 wish you joy on being in such hands. I do not come off so cheaply, 
 for my part: I pay through the nose for every farthing I get. My 
 loans are generally raised at double that per cent." "There is
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 143 
 
 usury," said the father of the usurious tribes; "unconscionable 
 dogs! Where do they expect to go when they die? I do not wonder 
 there is so strong a prejudice against money-lenders. It is the ex- 
 orbitant profit which some of them derive from their discounts, 
 that brings reproach and ill-will upon us all. If all my brethren of 
 the blue balls were like me, we should not be treated so scurvily ; 
 for my part, I only lend, to do my duty towards my neighbor. Ah ! 
 if times were as good now as in my early days, my purse should be 
 at your service as a friend ; and even now, in the present distress of 
 the money-market, it goes against the grain to take a poor twenty 
 per cent. But one would think the money was all gone back to the 
 mines whence it came : there is no such thing to be had, and the 
 scarcity compels me to depart a little from the disinterested severity 
 of my benevolence. How much do you want ?" pursued he, address- 
 ing my master. " Two hundred pistoles," answered Don Matthias. 
 "I have four hundred here in a bag," replied the usurer; "it is only 
 to give you half of them." At the same time he drew from under- 
 neath his cloak a blue bag, looking just like that in which farmer 
 Talego had left five hundred pistoles with Eodriguez. I was not 
 long in forming my judgment of the matter, and saw plainly that 
 Melendez had not bragged, without reason, of the steward's aptness 
 in the ways of the world. The old man emptied the bag, displayed 
 the cash on a table, and set about counting it. The sight set all my 
 master's extravagant passions in a flame; the sum total proved very 
 striking to his comprehension. " Signer Descomulgado," said he to 
 the usurer, " I have just made a very sensible reflection ; I am a 
 great fool. I only borrow enough to redeem my credit, without 
 thinking of my empty pockets. I should be obliged to give you the 
 trouble of coming again to-morrow. I think, therefore, it will be 
 best to spare your age and infirmities, and ease you of the four hun- 
 dred at once." " My lord," answered the old man, " I had destined 
 half of this money to a good licentiate, who lays out the income of 
 his large preferments in those pious and charitable uses for which 
 they were originally given to the clergy, as stewards of the poor, 
 and guides to the young and unwary. In pursuance of this end, it 
 is his great delight to wean young girls from the seductions of a 
 wicked world, and place them in a snug, well-furnished little box of 
 his own, where they may be obnoxious to his ghostly admonitions 
 by day and by night. But, since you have occasion for the whole 
 sum, it is at your disposal. Something by way of security." . . . 
 " Oh I as for security," interrupted Eodriguez, taking a paper out of 
 his pocket, " you shall have as good as the bank. Here is a note 
 which Signor Don Matthias has only just to sign. He makes over 
 five hundred pistoles, due from one of his tenants, Talego, a wealthy
 
 144 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 yeoman of Mondejar." "That is enough," replied the usurer, "I 
 never split hairs, but deal upon the square." The steward insinu- 
 ated a pen between his master's fingers, who signed his name at the 
 bottom of the note, without reading it ; and whistled as he signed, 
 for want of thought. 
 
 That business settled, the old man took his leave of my noble em- 
 ployer, who shook him cordially by the hand, saying: " Till I have 
 the pleasure of seeing you again, good master pounds, shillings, and 
 pence, I am your most devoted, humble servant. I do not know 
 why you should all be lumped together for aet of blood-suckers; 
 you seem to me a necessary link in the chain of well-ordered society. 
 You are as good as a physician to us pecuniary invalids of qualitjj 
 and keep us alive by artificial restoratives in the last stage of a con- 
 sumptive purse." " You are in the right," exclaimed Centelles. 
 " Usurers are a very gentlemanly order in society, and I must not 
 be denied the privilege of paying my compliments to this illustrious 
 epecimen, for the sake of his twenty per cent." With this banter, 
 he came up and threw his arms about the old man's neck: and 
 these two overgrown children, for their amusement, began sending 
 him backward and forward between them like a shuttlecock. After 
 they had tossed him about from pillar to post ? they suffered him to 
 depart with the steward, who ought to have come in for his share of 
 the game, and for something a little more serious. 
 
 When Rodriguez and his stalking-horse had left the room, Don 
 Matthias sent, by the lackey in waiting, half his pistoles to the 
 Countess de Pedrosa, and deposited the other half in a long purse 
 worked with gold and silk, which he usually wore in his pocket. 
 Very well pleased to find himself in cash, he said to Don Antonio, 
 with an air of gayety : " What shall we do with ourselves to-day ? 
 Let us call a council." " That is talking like a statesman," answered 
 Centelles : " I am your man ; let us ponder gravely." While they 
 were collecting their deliberative wisdom on the course they were to 
 pursue for the day, two other noblemen came in : Don Alexo Segiar 
 and Don Ferdinand de Gamboa ; both nearly about my master's 
 age, that is, from eight and twenty to thirty. These four jolly 
 blades began with such hearty salutations, as if they had not met 
 for these ten years. After that, Don Ferdinand, a professed baccha- 
 nalian, made his proposals to Don Matthias and Don Antonio : 
 " Gentlemen," said he, " where do you dine to-day ? If you are not 
 engaged, I will take you to a tavern where you shall quaff celestial 
 liquor I supped there last night, and did not come away till 
 between five and six this morning.' : " Would to Heaven," ex- 
 claimed my master, " I had done the same ! I should not have lost 
 miy money."
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. ~ 145 
 
 " For my part," said Centelles, " I treated myself yesterday even- 
 ing with a new amusement, for variety has always its charms for 
 me. Nothing but a change of pleasure can make the dull round of 
 human life supportable. One of my friends introduced me, neck 
 and heels, to one of those gentry yclept tax-gatherers, who do the 
 government business and their own at the same time. There was no 
 want of magnificence, good taste, or a well-designed set out table, 
 but I found, in the family itself, a highly seasoned relish of absurdity. 
 The farmer of the revenues, though the most meanly extracted of 
 the whole party, must set up for a great man ; and his wife, though 
 hideously ugly, was a goddess in her own estimation, and made a 
 thousand silly speeches, the zest of which was heightened by a Bis- 
 cayan accent. Add to this, that there were four or five children 
 with their tutor at table. Judge if it must not have been an amus- 
 ing family party." 
 
 "As for me, gentlemen," said Don Alexo Segiar, *' I supped with 
 Arsenia the actress. We were six at table ; Arsenia, Florimonde, a 
 coquette of her acquaintance, the Marquis de Zenette, Don Juan de 
 Moncade, and your humble servant. We passed the night in drink- 
 ing and talking bawdy. What a flow of soul! To be sure, Arsenia 
 and Florimonde are not strong in their upper works ; but then they 
 have a facility in their vocation which is more than all the wit in 
 the world. They are the dearest madcaps, gay, romping, and ram- 
 pant : they are a hundred times better than your modest women of 
 sense and discretion." 
 
 CHAPTEE IV. 
 
 GIL BLAB GETS INTO COMPANY WITH HIS FELLOWS; THEY SHOW HIM 
 A HEADY EOAD TO THE REPUTATION OF WIT, AND IMPOSE ON HIM 
 A SINGULAK OATH. 
 
 noblemen pursued this strain of conversation, till Don 
 1 Matthias, about whose person I was fiddling all the while, was 
 ready to go out. He then told me to follow him ; and this bevy of 
 fashionables set sail together for the tavern, whither Don Ferdinand 
 de Gamboa proposed to conduct them. I began my march in the 
 rear rank with three other valets ; for each of the gentlemen had 
 his own. I remarked, with astonishment, that these three servants 
 copied their masters, and assumed the same follies. I introduced 
 myself as a new comer. They returned my salute in form ; and ono 
 10
 
 146 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 of them, after having taken measure of me very accurately, said : 
 " Brother, I perceive by your gait that you have never yet lived with 
 a young nobleman." "Alas ! no," answered I, " neither have I been 
 long in Madrid." " So it appears," replied he, " you smell strong of 
 the country. You seem timid and embarrassed ; there is a hitch in 
 your deportment. But no matter, we will soon wear off all stiffness, 
 take my word for it." "Perhaps you think better of me than 1 
 deserve," said I. " No," resumed he, " no ; there is no such cub as 
 we cannot lick into shape ; assure yourself of that." 
 
 This specimen was enough to convince me that I had hearty fel- 
 lows for my comrades, and that I could not be in better hands to 
 initiate me into high life below stairs. On our arrival at the tavern, 
 we found an entertainment ready, which Signer Don Ferdinand had 
 been so provident as to order in the morning. Our masters sat down 
 to table, and we arranged ourselves behind their chairs. The con- 
 versation was spirited and lively. My ears tingled to hear them. 
 Their humor, their way of thinking, their mode of expression di- 
 verted me. What fire ! what sallies of imagination ! They appeared 
 like a new order of beings. With the dessert, we sat before them a 
 great choice of the best wines in Spain, and left the room, to go to 
 dinner in a little parlor, where our cloth was laid. 
 
 I was not long in discovering that the combatants in our lists had 
 more to recommend them than appeared at first sight. They were 
 not satisfied with aping the manners of their masters, but even 
 copied their phrases ; and these varlets gave such a fac-simile, that, 
 bating a little vulgarity, they might have passed themselves off very 
 well. I admired their free-and-easy carriage; still more was I 
 charmed with their wit, but despaired of ever coming up to them in 
 my own person, Don Ferdinand's servant, on the score of his mas- 
 ter treating ours, did the honors; and, determined to do the thing 
 genteelly, he called the landlord, and said to him: "Master tapster, 
 give us ten bottles of your very best wine ; and as you have a happy 
 knack of doing, make the gentlemen up stairs believe that they 
 have drank them." "With all my heart," answered the landlord; 
 " but, Master Gaspard, you know that Signor Don Ferdinand owes 
 me for a good many dinners already. If through your kind inter- 
 vention I could get some little matter on account." . . . "Oh!" 
 interrupted the valet, " do not be at all uneasy about your debt : I 
 will take it upon myself ; put it down to me. It is true, that some 
 unmannerly creditors have preferred legal measures to a reliance on 
 our honor ; but we shall take the first opportunity of obtaining a 
 replevy, and will pay you without looking at your bill. To have my 
 master on your books is like so many ingots of gold." The land- 
 lord brought us the wine, in spite ol unmannerly creditors ; and we
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 147 
 
 drank to a speedy replevy. It was as good as a comedy to see us 
 drinking each other's healths every minute, under our masters' titles. 
 Don Antonio's servant called Don Ferdinand's plain Gamboa, and 
 Don Ferdinand's servant called Don Antonio's Centelles : they dub- 
 bed me Silva ; and we kept pace in drunkenness, under these bor- 
 rowed names, with the noblemen to whom they properly belonged. 
 
 Though my wit was less conspicuous than that of the other guests, 
 they lost no opportunity of testifying their pleasure in my acquaint- 
 ance. " Silva," said one of our merriest soakers, " we shall make 
 something of you, my friend. I perceive that you have wit at will, 
 if you did but know how to draw upon it. 'The fear of talking 
 absurdly prevents you from throwing out at all ; and yet it is only 
 by a bold push that a thousand people nowadays set themselves up 
 for good companions. Do you wish to be bright? You have only 
 to give the reins to your loquacity, and to venture indiscriminately 
 on whatever comes uppermost : your blunders will pass for the 
 eccentricities of genius. Though you should utter a hundred extra- 
 vagances, let but a single good joke be packed up in the bundle, the 
 nonsense shall all be forgotten, the witticism bandied about, and 
 your talent be puffed into high repute. This is the happy method our 
 masters have devised, and it ought to be adopted by all new candi- 
 dates." Besides that I had but too strong a wish to pass for a clever 
 fellow, the trick they taught me appeared so easy in the perform- 
 ance, that it ought not to be buried in obscurity. I tried it at once, 
 and the fumes of the wine contributed to my success ; that is to say, 
 I talked at random, and had the good luck to strike out of much 
 absurdity some flashes of merriment very acceptable to my audience. 
 This first essay inspired me with confidence. I redoubled my 
 sprightliness, to sparkle in repartee ; and chance gave a successful 
 issue to my endeavors. 
 
 " Well done !" said my fellow-servant who had addressed me on 
 the street; ''do not you begin to shake off your rustic manners? 
 You have not been two hours in our company, and you are quite 
 another creature : your improvement will be visible every day. This 
 it is to wait on people of quality. It causes an elevation which the 
 mind can never attain under a plebeian roof." " Doubtless," I 
 answered, " and for that reason I shall henceforth dedicate my little 
 talents to the nobility." " That is bravely said," roared out Don 
 Ferdinand's servant, half seas over; "commoners are not entitled 
 to possess such a fund of superior genius as exists in us. Come, 
 gentlemen, let us make a vow never to colleague with any such beg- 
 garly fellows ; let us swear to that by Styx." We laughed heartily 
 at Gaspard's conceit ; the proposal was received with applause, and 
 we took this mock oath with our glasses in our hands.
 
 148 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 Thus sat we at .table till our masters were pleased M get lip from 
 it. This was at midnight an outrageous instance of sobriety, in the 
 opinion of my colleagues. To be sure, these noble lords left the 
 tavern so early only to visit a celebrated wanton, lodging in the 
 purlieus of the court, and keeping open house night and day for the 
 votaries of pleasure. She was a woman from five-and-thirty to 
 forty, still in the height of her charms, entertaining in her dis- 
 course, and so perfect a mistress in the art of pleasure, that she sold 
 the waste and refuse of her beauty at a higher price than the first 
 sample of the unadulterated article. She had always two or three 
 pieces of damaged goods in the house, who contributed not a little 
 to the great concourse of nobility resorting thi'ther. The afternoon 
 was spent in play ; then supper, and the night passed in drink- 
 ing and making merry. Our masters stayed till morning, and so 
 did we, without thinking the time long; for while they were toying 
 with the mistresses, we attacked the maids. At length we all parted 
 when daylight peeped in on our festivities, and went tt> bed each of 
 us at our separate homes. 
 
 My master getting up at his usual time, about noon, dressed him- 
 self. He went out. I followed him, and we paid a visit to Don 
 Antonio Centelles, with whom we found one Don Alvaro de Acuna. 
 He was an old gentleman, who gave lectures on the science of de- 
 bauchery. The rising generation, if they wanted to qualify them- 
 selves for fine gentlemen, put themselves under his tuition. He 
 moulded their ductile habits to pleasure, taught them to make a dis- 
 tinguished figure in the world, and to squander their substance ; he 
 bad no qualms as to running out his own, for the deed was done. 
 After these three blades had exchanged the compliments of the 
 morning, Centelles said to my master, " In good faith, Don Matthias, 
 you could not have come at a more lucky time. Don Alvaro is come 
 to take me with him to a dinner, given by a citizen to the Marquis 
 de Zenette and. Don Juan de Moncade, and you shall be of the 
 party." "And what is the citizen's name?" said Don Matthias. 
 " Gregorio de Noriega," said Don Alvaro, " and I will describe the 
 young man in two words. His father, a rich jeweller, is gone 
 abroad to attend the foreign markets, and left his son, at his depart- 
 ure, in the enjoyment of a large income. Gregorio is a blockhead, 
 with a turn for every sort of extravagance, and an awkward hanker- 
 ing after the reputation of wit and fashion, in despite of nature. He 
 has begged of me to give him a few instructions. I manage him 
 completely, and can assure you, gentlemen, that I lead him a rare 
 dance. His estate is rather deeply dipped already." " I do not 
 doubt it," exclaimed Centelles ; " I see the vulgar dog in an alms- 
 house. Come, Don Matthias, let us honor the fellow with our
 
 AD VENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 149 
 
 acquaintance, and be in at the death of him." "Willingly," 
 answered my master, " for I delight in seeing the fortune of these 
 plebeian upstarts kicked over when they affect to mix among us. 
 Nothing, for instance, ever entertained me so much as the downfall 
 of the toll-gatherer's son, whom play, and the vanity of figuring 
 among the great, have stripped, till he has not a house over his 
 head." " Oh, as for that," replied Don Alvaro, " he deserves no 
 pity ; he is as great a coxcomb in his poverty as he was in his pros- 
 perity." 
 
 Centelles and my master accompanied Don Alvaro to Gregorio de 
 Noriega's party. We went there also, that is Mogicon and myself, 
 both in ecstasy at having an opportunity of sponging on a citizen, 
 and pleasing ourselves with the thoughts of being in at the death of 
 him. At our entrance, we observed several men employed in pre- 
 paring dinner ; and there issued from the ragouts they were taking 
 up, a vapor which conciliated the palate through the medium of the 
 nostrils. The Marquis de Zenette and Don Juan de Moncade were 
 just come. The founder of the feast seemed a great simpleton. He 
 aped the man of fashion with a most clumsy grace ; a wretched copy 
 of admirable originals, or, more properly, an idiot in the chair of 
 wisdom and taste. Figure to yourself a man of this character in 
 the centre of five bantering fellows, all intent on making a jest of 
 him, and drawing him into ridiculous expenses. " Gentlemen," 
 said Don Alvaro, after the first interchange of civilities, "give me 
 leave to introduce you to Signer Gregorio de Noriega, a most bril- 
 liant star in the hemisphere of fashion. He owns a thousand amiable 
 qualities. Do you know that he has a highly-cultivated understand- 
 ing? Choose your own subject, he is equally at home in every 
 branch, from the subtility and closeness of logic, to the elementary 
 science of the criss-cross-row." " Oh, this is really too flattering," 
 interrupted the scot-and-lot gentleman, with a very uncouth laugh. 
 " I might, Signer Alvaro, put you to the blush as you have put me; 
 for you may truly be termed a reservoir, as it were, a common sewer- 
 of erudition." " I had no intention," replied Don Alvaro, " to draw 
 upon myself so savory an encomium ; but truly, gentlemen, Signor 
 Gregorio cannot fail of establishing a name in the world." "As for 
 me," said Don Antonio, " what is so delightful in my eyes, far above 
 the honors of logic or the criss-cross-row, is the tasteful selection of 
 his company. Instead of demeaning himself to the level of trades- 
 men, he associates only with the young nobility, and sets the expense 
 at nought. There is an elevation of sentiment in this conduct which 
 enchants me : and this is what you may truly call disbursing with 
 taste and judgment." 
 
 These ironical speeches were only the preludes to a continual
 
 150 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 strain of banter. Poor Gregorio was attacked on all hands. The 
 wits *hot their bolts by turns, but they made no impression on the 
 fool ; on the contrary, he took all they said literally, and seemed 
 highly pleased with his guests, as if they did him a favor by making 
 him their laughing-stock. In short, he served them for a butt while 
 they sat at table, which they did not quit during the afternoon, nor 
 till late at night. We, as well as our masters, drank as we liked, so 
 that the servants' hall and the dining-room were in equally high 
 order when we took our leave of the young jeweller. 
 
 CHAPTER V 
 
 GIL BLAS BECOMES THE DARLING OF THE FAIR SEX, AND MAKES AN 
 INTERESTING ACQUAINTANCE. 
 
 AFTER some hours' sleep, I got up in fine spirits ; and calling 
 the advice of Melendez to mind, went, till my master was 
 stirring, to pay my court to our steward, whose vanity was rather 
 flattered by this attention. He received me with a gracious air, and 
 inquired how I was reconciled to the habits and manners of the 
 young nobility. I answered, that they were strange to me as yet, 
 but that use and good example might work wonders in the end. 
 
 Use and good example did work wonders, and that right soon. 
 My temper and conduct were quite altered. From a discreet, sober 
 lad, I got to be a lively, heedless merry-andrew. Don Antonio's 
 servant paid me a compliment on my transformation, and told me 
 that there wanted nothing but a tender interest in the lovely part of 
 creation to shine like a new star dropped from the heavens. He 
 pointed out to me that it was an indispensable requisite in the char- 
 acter of a pretty fellow, that all our set were well with some fine 
 woman or other; and that he himself, to his own share, engrossed 
 the favors of two beauties in high life. I was of opinion that the 
 rascal lied. "Master Mogicon," said I, "you are doubtless a very 
 dapper, lively little fellow, with a modest assurance ; but still I do 
 not comprehend how women of quality, not having your sweet per- 
 son in their own private establishments, should run the risk of 
 being detected in an intrigue with a footman out of doors." " Oh, 
 as for that," answered he, " they do not know my condition. To my 
 master's wardrobe, and even to his name, I am indebted for these 
 conquests. I will tell you how it is. I dress myself up as a young
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS. 151 
 
 nobleman, and assume the manners of one. I go to public places, 
 and tip the wink first to one woman and then to another, till I meet 
 with one who returns the signal. Her I follow, and find means to 
 speak with her. I take the name of Don Antonio Centelles. I plead 
 for an assignation, the lady is squeamish about it ; I am pressing, 
 she is kind, &c. Thus it is, my fine fellow, that I contrive to carry 
 on my intrigues, and I would have you profit by the hint." 
 
 I was too ambitious of shining like a new star dropped from the 
 heavens to turn a deaf ear to such counsel ; besides, there was about 
 me no aversion to an amour. I therefore laid a plan to disguise 
 myself as a young nobleman, and look out for adventures of gal- 
 lantry. There was a risk in assuming my masquerade dress at 
 home, lest it might be observed. I took a complete suit from my 
 master's wardrobe, and made it up into a bundle, which I carried to 
 a barber's, where I thought I could dress and undress conveniently. 
 There I tricked myself out to the best advantage. The barber, too, 
 lent a helping hand to my attire. When we thought it adjusted to 
 a nicety, I sauntered towards Saint Jerome's meadow, whence I felt 
 morally certain that I should not return without making an impres- 
 sion. But I could not even get thither, without a proof of my own 
 attractions. 
 
 As I was crossing a by-street, a lady of genteel figure, elegantly 
 dressed, came out of a small house, and got into a hired carriage 
 standing at the door. I stopped short to look at her, and bowed 
 significantly, so as to convey an intimation that my heart was not 
 insensible. On her part, to show me that her face was not less 
 lovely than her person, she lifted up her veil for a moment. In the 
 meantime the coach set off, and I stood stock s.till in the street, not 
 a little stiffened at this vision. "A vastly pretty woman !" said I 
 to myself; "bless us ! this is just what is wanting to make me per- 
 fectly accomplished. If the two ladies who share Mogicon between 
 them are equally handsome, the scoundrel is in luck ! I should be 
 delighted with her for a mistress." Euminating on these things, I 
 looked, by chance, towards the house whence that lovely creature 
 had glided, and saw, at a window on the ground floor, an old woman 
 beckoning me to come in. 
 
 I flew like lightning into the house, and found, in a very neat par- 
 lor, this venerable, and wary matron, who, taking me for a marquis 
 at least, dropped a low courtesy, and said : " I doubt not, my lord, 
 but you must have a bad opinion of a woman who, without the 
 slightest acquaintance, beckons you out of the street ; but you will 
 perhaps judge more favorably of me when you shall know that I do 
 not pay that compliment promiscuously. You look like a man of 
 fashion !" " You are perfectly in the right, my old girl," inter-
 
 152 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 rupted I, stretching out my right leg, and throwing the weight of 
 my body on my left hip ; " mine is, vanity apart, one of the best 
 families in Spain." " It must be so by your looks," replied she, 
 '' and I will fairly own that I delight in doing a kindness to people 
 of quality that is my weak side. I watched you through my win- 
 dow. You looked very earnestly at a lady who has just left me. 
 Perhaps you may have taken a fancy to her ? Tell me so plainly." 
 " By the honor of my house," answered I, " she has shot me through 
 the heart. I never saw anything so tempting; a most divine crea- 
 ture; do bring us acquainted, my dear, and rely on my gratitude. 
 It is worth while to do these little offices for us of the beau monde; 
 they are better paid than our bills." 
 
 " I have told you once for all," replied the old woman, " I am 
 entirely devoted to people of condition ; it is my passion to be useful 
 to them : I receive here, for example, a certain class of ladies, whom 
 appearances prevent from seeing their favorites at home. I lend 
 them my house, and thus the warmth of their constitutions is in- 
 dulged without risk to their characters." " Vastly well," quoth I, 
 " and you have just done that kindness to the lady in question ?" 
 "No," answered she, " this is a young widow of quality, in want of 
 an admirer; but so difficult in her choice, that I do not know 
 whether you will do for her, however great your requisites may be. 
 I have already introduced to her three well-furnished gallants, but 
 she turned up her nose at them." " Oh ! egad, my life," exclaimed 
 I confidently, " you have only to stick me in her skirts, I will give 
 you a good account of her, take my word for it. I long to have a 
 grapple with a beauty of such peremptory demands ; they have not 
 yet fallen in my way." "Well, then," said the old woman, "you 
 have only to come Hither to-morrow at the same v hour : your curi- 
 osity shall be satisfied." " I will not fail," rejoined I ; "we shall 
 see whether a young nobleman can miss a conquest." 
 
 I returned to the little barber's without looking for other adven- 
 tures, but deeply interested in the event of this. Therefore, on the 
 following day, I went in splendid attire to the old woman's an hour 
 sooner than the time. " My lord," said she, " you are punctual, and 
 I take it kindly. To be sure the game is worth the chase. I have 
 seen our young widow, and we have had a good deal of talk about 
 you. Not a word was to be said ; but I have taken such a liking to 
 you that I cannot hold my tongue. You have made yourself agree- 
 able, and will soon be a happy man. Between ourselves, the lady is 
 a relishing morsel; her husband did not live long with her;' he 
 glided away like a shadow : she has all the merit of an absolute 
 girl." The good old lady no doubt meant one of those clever girls 
 who contrive not to live single, though they live unmarried.
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 153 
 
 The heroine of the assignation soon came in a hired carriage, as on 
 the day before, dressed very magnificently. As soon as she came 
 into the room, I led off with five or six coxcombical bows, accom- 
 panied by the most fashionable grimaces. After this, I went up to 
 her with a very familiar air, and said : " My adored angel, you 
 behold a gentleman of no mean rank, whom your charms have 
 undone. Your image, since yesterday, has taken complete posses- 
 sion of my fancy ; you have turned a duchess neck and heels out of 
 my heart, who was beginning to establish a footing there." " The 
 triumph is too glorious for me," answered she, throwing off her veil, 
 " but still my transports are not without alloy. Young men of 
 fashion love variety, and their hearts are, they say, bandied about 
 from one to the other like a piece of base money." " Ah ! my sov- 
 ereign mistress," replied I, " let us leave the future to shift for itself, 
 and think only of the present. You are lovely: I am in .love. If 
 my passion is not hateful to you, let it take its course at random. 
 We will embark like true sailors, set the storms and shipwreck of a 
 long voyage at defiance, and only take the fair weather of the time 
 present into the account." 
 
 In finishing this speech, I threw myself in raptures at the feet of 
 my nymph ; and the better to hit off my assumed character, pressed 
 her with some little peevishness not to delay my bliss. She seemed 
 a little touched by my remonstances, but thought it too soon to 
 yield, and, giving me a gentle rebuff: "Hold," said she, "you are 
 too importunate ; this is like a rake. I fear you are but a loose 
 young fellow." " For shame, madam !" exclaimed I ; " can you set 
 your face against what women of the first state and condition en- 
 courage? A prejudice against what is vulgarly called vice may be 
 all very well for citizens' wives." " That is decisive," replied she ; 
 "there is no resisting so forcible a plea, I see plainly that with 
 men of your order dissimulation is to no purpose ; a woman must 
 meet you half way. Learn, then, your victory," added she, with an 
 appearance of disorder, as if her modesty suffered by the avowal ; "you 
 have inspired me with sentiments such as are new to my heart, and 
 I only wait to know who you are, that I may take you for my 
 acknowledged lover. I believe you a young lord and a gentleman, 
 yet there is no trusting to appearances; and, however prepossessed 
 I may be in your favor, I would not give away my affections to a 
 stranger." 
 
 I recollected at the moment how Don Antonio's servant had got 
 out of a similar perplexity, and determining, after his example, to 
 pass for my master: " Madam," said I, to my dainty widow, "I will 
 not excuse myself from telling you my name ; it is one that will not 
 disparage its owner. Have you ever heard of Don Matthias d
 
 154 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 Silva ?" " Yes," replied she ; " indeed I have seen him with a lady 
 of my acquaintance." Though considerably improved in impudence, 
 I was a little troubled by this discovery. Yet I rallied my forces in 
 an instant, and extricated myself with a happy presence of mind. 
 " Well, then, my fair one," retorted I, " the lady of your acquaint- 
 ance . . . knows a lord ... of my acquaintance . . . and I am of 
 his acquaintance ; of his own family, since you must know it. His 
 grandfather married the sister-in-law of my father's uncle. You see 
 we are very near relations. My name is Don Caesar. I am the only 
 son of the great Don Ferdinand de Ribera, slain fifteen years ago, 
 in a battle on the frontiers of Portugal. I could give you all the 
 particulars of the action ; it was a devilish sharp one . . . but to 
 fight it over again would be losing the precious moments of mutual 
 love." 
 
 After this discourse I got to be importunate and impassioned, but 
 without bringing matters at all forward, The favors which my god- 
 dess winked at my snatching, tended only to make me languish for 
 those she was more chary of. The tyrant got back to her coach, 
 which was waiting at the door. Nevertheless, I withdrew, well 
 enough pleased with my success, though it still fell short of the only 
 perfect issue. " If," said I to myself, " I have obtained indulgences 
 but by halves, it is because this lady, forsooth, is a high-born dame, 
 and thinks it beneath her quality to play the very woman at the 
 first interview. The pride of pedigree stands in the way of my 
 advancement just now, but in a few days we shall be better 
 acquainted." To be sure, it did once come into my head that she 
 might be one of those cunning gypsies always on the catch. Yet I 
 liked better to look at things on the right side than on the wrong, 
 and thus maintained a favorable opinion of my widow. We had 
 agreed at parting to meet again on the day after the morrow ; and 
 the hope of arriving at the summit of my wishes gave me a fore- 
 taste of the pleasures with which I tickled my fancy. 
 
 With my brain full of joyous traces, I returned to my barber. 
 Having changed my dress, I went to attend my master at the tennis- 
 court. I found him at play, and saw that he won ; for he was not 
 one of those impenetrable gamesters-who make or mar a fortune 
 without moving a muscle. In prosperity he was flippant and over- 
 bearing, but quite peevish on the losing side. He left the tennis- 
 court in high spirits, and went to the Prince's Theatre. I followed 
 him to the box-door, then, putting a ducat into my hand, " Here, 
 Gil Bias," said he, " as I have been a winner to-day, you shall not 
 be the worse for it ; go, divert yourself with your friends, and come 
 to me about midnight at Arsenia's, where I am to sup with Don 
 Alexo Segiar." He then went in, and I stood debating with whom
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 155 
 
 I should disburse my ducat, according to the pious will of the 
 founder. I did not muse long. Clarin, Don Alexo's servant, just 
 then came in my way. I took him to the next tavern, and we 
 amused ourselves there till midnight. Thence we repaired to 
 Arsenia's house, where Clarin had orders to attend. A little footboy 
 opened the door, and showed us into a room down stairs, where 
 Arsenia's waiting-woman, and the lady who held the same office 
 about Florimonde, were laughing ready to split their sides, while 
 their mistresses were above stairs with our masters. 
 
 The addition of two jolly fellows just come from a good supper 
 could not be unwelcome to abigails, and to the abigails of actresses 
 too ; but what was my astonishment when in one of these lowly 
 ladies I discovered my widow my adorable widow whom I took 
 for a countess or a marchioness ! She appeared equally amazed to 
 see her dear Don Caesar de Eibera metamorphosed into the valet of 
 a beau. However, we looked at one another without being put out 
 of countenance ; indeed, such a tingling sensation of laughter came 
 over us both, as we could not help indulging in. After this Laura- 
 for that was her name drawing me aside while Clarin was speak- 
 ing to her fellow-servant, held out her hand to me very kindly, and 
 said in a low voice, " Accept this pledge, Signor Don Csesar ; mutual 
 congratulations are more to the purpose than mutual reproaches, 
 my friend. You topped your part to perfection, and I was not quite 
 contemptible in mine. What say you ? Confess now, did not you 
 take me for one of those precious peeresses who are fond of a little 
 smuggled amusement?" "It is even so," answered I, "but who- 
 ever you are, my empress, I have not changed my sentiments with 
 my paraphernalia. Accept my services in good part, and let the 
 valet de chambre of Don Matthias consummate what Don Caesar has 
 so happily begun." "Get you gone." replied she; "I like you 
 ten times better in your natural than in your artificial character. 
 You are as a man what I am as a woman, and that is the greatest 
 compliment I can pay you. You are admitted into the number of 
 my adorers. You have no longer any need of the old woman as a 
 blind ; you may come and see me whenever you like. We theatrical 
 ladies are no slaves to form, but live higgledy-piggledy with the 
 men. I allow that the effects are sometimes visible, but the public 
 wink hard at our irregularities; the drama's patrons, as you well 
 know, give the drama's laws, and absolve us from all others." 
 
 We went no further, because there were bystanders. The conver- 
 sation became general, lively, jovial, inclining to loose jokes, not 
 very carefully wrapped up. We all of us bore a bob. Arsenia's 
 attendant, above all, my amiable Laura, was very conspicuous, but 
 her wit was so extremely nimble, that her virtue could never over-
 
 156 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 take it. Our masters and the actresses on the floor above raised 
 incessant peals of laughter, which reached us in the regions below ; 
 and probably the entertainment was much alike with the celestials 
 and the infernals. If all the knowing remarks had been written 
 down which escaped from the philosophers that night assembled at 
 Arsenia's, I really think it would have been a manual for the rising 
 generation. Yet we could not arrest the chaste moon in her pro- 
 gress; the rising of that blab, the sun, parted us. Clarin followed 
 the heels of Don Alexo, and I went home with Don Matthias. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 THE PRINCE'S COMPANY OF COMEDIANS. 
 
 MY master getting up the next day, received a note from Don 
 Alexo Segiar, desiring his company immediately. We went, 
 and found there the Marquis de Zenette, and another young noble- 
 man of prepossessing manners, whom I had never seen. "Don 
 Matthias," said Segiar to my protector, introducing the stranger, 
 " give me leave to present Don Pompeyo de Castro, a relation of 
 mine. He has been at the court of Portugal almost from his child- 
 hood. He reached Madrid last night, and returns to Lisbon to-mor- 
 row. He can allow me only one day. I wish to make the most of the' 
 precious moments, and thought of asking you and the Marquis de 
 Zenette to make out the time agreeably." Thereupon my master 
 and Don Alexo's relation embraced heartily, and complimented one 
 another in the most extravagant manner. I was much pleased with 
 Don Pompeyo's conversation : it showed both acuteness and solidity. 
 They dined with Segiar ; and the gentlemen, after the dessert, 
 amused themselves at play till the theatre opened. Then they went 
 all together to the Prince's House, to see a new tragedy called "The 
 Queen of Carthage." At the end of the piece they returned to 
 supper, and their conversation ran first on the composition, then upon 
 the actors. " As for the work," cried Don Matthias, " I think very 
 lightly of it. JEneas is a more pious blockhead there than in 
 the yEneid. But it must be owned that the piece was played 
 divinely. What does Signor Don Pompeyo think of it? He does 
 not seem to agree with me." "Gentlemen," said the illustrious 
 etranger, with a smile, "you are so enraptured with your actors, and 
 still more with your actresses, that I scarcely dare avow my dis-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 157 
 
 sent." "That is very prudent," interrupted Don Alexo, with a 
 sneer ; " your criticisms would be ill received. You should be ten- 
 der of our actresses before the trumpeters of their fame. We carouse 
 with them every day ; we warrant them sound in their conceptions ; 
 we would give vouchers for the justness of their expression, if it 
 were necessary." "No doubt of it," answered his kinsman ; "you 
 would do the same kind office by their lives and their manners from 
 the same motives of companionable feeling." 
 
 " Your ladies of the sock and buskin at Lisbon," said the Marquis 
 de Zenette, " are doubtless far superior ?" " They certainly are," 
 replied Don Pompeyo. " They are some of them at least perfect in 
 their cast." "And these," resumed the marquis, "would be war- 
 ranted by you in their conceptions and expressions ?" " I have no 
 personal acquaintance with them," rejoined Don Pompeyo. " I am 
 not of their revels, and can judge of their merits without partiality. 
 Do you, in good earnest, think your company first-rate?" "No, 
 really," said the marquis, " I think no such thing, and only plead 
 the cause of a few individuals. I give up all the rest. Will you 
 not allow extraordinary powers to the actress who played Dido ? 
 Did she not personate that queen with the dignity, and at the same 
 time with all the bewitching charms, calculated to realize our idea 
 of the character? Could you help admiring the skill with which 
 she seizes on the passions of the spectator, and harmonizes their 
 tone to the vibrations she purposes to produce? She may be called 
 perfect in the exquisite art of declaiming." " I agree with you," 
 said Don Pompeyo, " that she can touch the string either of terror 
 or of pity : never did any actress come closer to the heart, and the 
 performance is altogether fine ; but still she is not without her de- 
 fects. Two or three things disgusted me in her playing. Would 
 she denote surprise ? she glances her eyes to and fro in a most ex- 
 travagant manner, altogether unbecoming her supposed majesty as 
 a princess. Add to this, that in swelling her voice, which is of 
 itself sound and mellifluous, she goes out of her natural key, and 
 assumes a harsh, ranting tone. Besides, it should seem as if she 
 might be suspected, in more than one passage, of not very clearly 
 comprehending her author. Yet I would in candor rather suppose 
 her wanting in diligence than capacity." 
 
 "As far as I see," said Don Matthias to the critic, "you will 
 never write complimentary odes to our actresses!" "Pardon me," 
 answered Don Pompeyo. " I can discover high talent through all 
 their imperfections. I must say that I was enchanted with the 
 chambermaid in the interlude. What fine natural parts! With 
 what grace she treads the stage! Has she anything pointed to de- 
 liver? she heightens it by an arch smile, with a keen glance and
 
 158 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 sarcastic emphasis, which convey more to the understanding than 
 the words to the ear. It might be objected that she sometimes gives 
 too much scope to her animal spirits, and exceeds the limits of 
 allowable freedom, but that would be hypercritical. There is one 
 bad habit I should strongly advise her to correct. Sometimes in 
 the very crisis of the action, and in an affecting passage, she bursts 
 in all at once upon the interest with some misplaced jest, to curry 
 favor with the mob of barren spectators. The pit, you will say, is 
 caught by her artifice ; that may be well for her popularity, but not 
 for their taste." 
 
 "And what do you think of the men?" interrupted the marquis; 
 " you must give them no quarter, since you have handled the women 
 so roughly." " Not so," said Don Pompeyo. " There are some 
 promising young actors, and I am particularly well pleased with 
 that corpulent performer who played the part of Dido's prime min- 
 ister. His recitation is unaffected, and he declaims just as they do 
 in Portugal." " If you can bear such a fellow as that," said Segiar, 
 " you must be charmed with the representative of ^Eneas. Did not 
 you think him a great, an original performer?" " Very original, 
 indeed," answered the critic; "his inflections are quite his own,, 
 they are as shrill as a hautboy. Almost always out of nature, he 
 rattles the impressive words of the sentence off his tongue, while he 
 labors and lingers on the expletives; the poor conjunctions are 
 frightened at their own report as they go off. He entertained me 
 excessively, and especially when he was expressing in confidence 
 his distress at abandoning the princess: never was grief more ludic- 
 rously depicted." " Fair and softly, cousin," replied Don Alexo ; 
 "you will make us believe at last that good taste is not greatly 
 cultivated at the court of Portugal. Do you know that the actor 
 of whom we are speaking is esteemed a phenomenon ? Did you not 
 observe what thunders of applause he called down? He cannot 
 therefore be contemptible." "That therefore does not prove the 
 proposition," replied Don Pompeyo. " But, gentlemen, let us lay 
 aside, I beseech you, the injudicious suffrages of the pit; they are 
 often given to performers very unseasonably. Indeed, their boister- 
 ous tokens of approbation are more frequently bestowed on paltry 
 copies than on original merit, as Phedrus teaches us by an ingenious 
 fable. Allow me to repeat it as follows : The whole population of 
 a city was assembled in a large square to see a pantomime played. 
 Among the performers there was one whose feats were applauded 
 every instant. This buffoon, at the end of the entertainment, wished 
 to close the scene with-a new device. He came alone upon the 
 stage, stooping down, covering his head with his mantle, and began 
 counterfeiting the squeak of a pig. He acquitted himself so natu-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 159 
 
 rally as to be suspected of having the animal itself concealed within 
 the folds of his drapery. He stripped, but there was no pig. The 
 assembly rang with more furious applause than ever. A peasant, 
 among the spectators, was disgusted at this misplaced admiration. 
 ' Gentlemen,' exclaimed he, ' you are in the wrong to be so delighted 
 with this buffoon ; he is not so good a mimic as you take him for. 
 I can enact the pig better ; if you doubt it, only attend here this 
 time to-morrow.* The people, prejudiced in the cause of their favor- 
 ite, collected in greater numbers on the next day, rather to hiss the 
 countryman than to see what he could do. The rivals appeared on 
 the stage. The buffoon began, and was more applauded than the 
 day before. Then the farmer, stooping down in his turn, with his 
 head wrapped up in his cloak, pulled the ear of a real pig under his 
 arm, and made it squeal most horribly. Yet this enlightened audi- 
 ence persisted in giving the preference to their favorite, and hooted 
 the countryman off the boards, who, producing the pig before he 
 went, said, 'Gentlemen, you are not hissing me, but the original 
 pig. So much for your judgment.' " 
 
 ''Cousin," said Don Alexo, "your fable is rather satirical. Never- 
 theless, in spite of your pig, we will not bate an inch of our opinion. 
 But let us change the subject, this is grown threadbare. Then you 
 set off to-morrow, do what we can to keep you with us longer?" 
 " I should like," answered his kinsman, " to protract my stay with 
 you, but it is not in my power. I have told you already that I am 
 come to the court of Spain on an affair of state. Yesterday, on my 
 arrival, I had a conference with the prime minister; I am to see 
 him to-morrow morning, and shall set out immediately afterwards 
 on my return to Lisbon." " You are become quite a Portuguese," 
 observed Segiar, " and to all appearance, we shall lose you entirely 
 from Madrid." " I think otherwise," replied Don Pompeyo, " I 
 have the honor to stand well with the King of Portugal, and have 
 many motives of attachment to that court; yet with all the kind- 
 ness that sovereign has testified towards me, would you believe that 
 I have been on the point of quitting his dominions forever." 
 " Indeed 1 by what strange accident?" said the marquis. " Give us 
 the history, I beseech you." " Very readily," answered Don Pom- 
 peyo, " and at the same time my own, for it is closely interwoven 
 with the recital for which you have called."
 
 160 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 CHAPTEE VII. 
 
 HISTORY OF DON POMPEYO DE CASTRO. 
 
 u ~r~\ON ALEXO knows that from my boyish days, my passion 
 I ) was for a military life. Our own country being at peace, 
 I went into Portugal ; thence to Africa with the Duke of Braganza, 
 who gave me a commission. I was a younger brother, with as slen- 
 der a provision as most in Spain ; so that my only chance was in 
 attracting the notice of the commander-in-chief by my bravery. I 
 was so far from deficient in my duty, that the duke promoted me, 
 step by step, to one of the most honorable posts in the service. 
 After a long war, of which you all know the issue, I devoted myself 
 to the court; and the king, on strong testimonials from the general 
 officers, rewarded me with a considerable pension. Alive to that 
 sovereign's generosity, I lost no opportunity of proving my gratitude 
 by my diligence. I was in attendance as often as etiquette would 
 allow me to offer myself to his notice. By this conduct I gained 
 insensibly the love of that prince, and received new favors from hia 
 hands. 
 
 ' One day, when I distinguished myself in running at the ring, 
 and in a bull-fight preceding it, all the court extolled my strength 
 and dexterity. On my return home, with my honors thick upon 
 me, I found there a note, informing me that a lady, my conquest 
 over whom ought to flatter me more than all the glory I had gained 
 that day, wished to have the pleasure of my company : and that I 
 had only to attend in the evening, at a place marked out in the let- 
 ter. This was more than all my public triumphs, and I concluded 
 the writer to be a woman of the first quality. You may guess that 
 I did not loiter by the way. An old woman in waiting, as my 
 guide, conducted me by a little garden-gate into a large house, and 
 left me in an elegant closet, saying, ' Stay here, I will acquaint my 
 mistress with your arrival.' I observed a great many articles of 
 value in the closet, which was magnificently illuminated ; but this 
 splendor only caught my attention as confirming me in my previous 
 opinion of the lady's high rank. If appearances strengthened that 
 conjecture, her noble and majestic air on her entrance left no doubt 
 on my mind. Yet I was a little out in my calculation. 
 
 "Noble sir,' said she, ' after the step I have taken in your favor, 
 it were impertinent to disown my partiality. Your brilliant actions 
 of to-day, in presence of the court, were not the inspirers of my sen- 
 timents; they only urge forward this avowal. I have seen you 
 more than once, have inquired into your character, and the result
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 161 
 
 has determined me to follow the impulse of my heart. But do not 
 suppose that you are well with a duchess. I am but the widow 
 of a captain in the King's Guards ; yet there is something to 
 throw a radiance round your victory .... the preference you 
 have gained over one of the first noblemen in the kingdom. 
 The Duke d'Almeyda loves me, and presses his suit with ardor, 
 yet without success. My vanity only induces me to bear his impor- 
 tunities.' 
 
 " Though I saw plainly, by this address, that I had got in with a 
 coquette, my presiding star was not a whit out of my good graces 
 for involving me in this adventure. Donna Hortensia, for that was 
 the lady's name, was just in the ripeness and luxuriance of youth 
 and dazzling beauty. Nay, more, she had refused the possession of 
 her heart to the earnest entreaties of a duke, and offered it unso- 
 licited to me. What a feather in the cap of a Spanish cavalier I I 
 prostrated myself at Hortensia's feet, to thank her for her favors. 
 I talked just as a man of gallantry always does talk, and she had 
 reason to be satisfied with the extravagance of my acknowledgments. 
 Thus we parted the best friends in the world, on the terms of meet- 
 ing every evening when the Duke d'Almeyda was prevented from 
 coming ; and she promised to give me due notice of his absence. 
 The bargain was exactly fulfilled, and I was turned into the Adonis 
 of this new Venus. 
 
 " But the pleasures of this life are transitory. With all the lady's 
 precautions to conceal our private treaty of commerce from my rival 
 he found means of gaining a knowledge, of which it concerned us 
 greatly to keep him ignorant: a disloyal chamber-maid divulged the 
 state secret. This nobleman, naturally generous, but proud, self- 
 sufficient, and violent, was exasperated at my presumption. Anger 
 and jealousy set him beside himself. Taking counsel only with his 
 rage, he resolved on an infamous revenge. One night when I was 
 with Hortensia, he waylaid me at the little garden gate, with all his 
 servants provided with cudgels. As soon as I came out, he ordered 
 me to be seized, and beat to death by these wretches. ' Lay on,' 
 said he ; ' let the rash intruder give up the ghost under your chas- 
 tisement; thus shall his insolence be punished.' No sooner had he 
 finished these words, than his myrmidons assaulted me in a body, 
 and gave me such a beating, as to stretch me senseless on the 
 ground: after which they hurried off with their master, to whom this 
 butchery had been a delicious pastime. I lay the remainder of the 
 night just as they had left me. At daybreak, some people passed by, 
 who, finding that life was still in me, had the humanity to carry me 
 to a surgeon. Fortunately my wounds were not mortal; and, falling 
 into skillful hands, I was perfectly cured in two months. At the 
 11
 
 162 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 end of that period I made my appearance again at court, and re- 
 sumed my former way of life, except that I steered clear of Hor- 
 teusia, who on her part made no further attempt to renew the 
 acquaintance, because the duke on that condition, had pardoned 
 her infidelity. 
 
 " As my adventure was the town talk, and I ws known to be no 
 coward, people were astonished to see me as quiet as if I had re- 
 ceived no affront; for I kept my thoughts to myself, and seemed to 
 have no quarrel with any man living. No one knew what to think 
 of my counterfeited insensibility. Some imagined that, in spite of 
 my courage, the rank of the aggressor overawed me, and occasioned 
 my tacit submission. Others, with more reason, mistrusted my 
 silence, and considered my inoffensive demeanor as a cover to my re- 
 venge. The king was of opinion with these last, that I was not a 
 man to put up with an insult, and that I should not be wanting to 
 myself at a convenient opportunity. To discover my real intentions, 
 he sent for me one day into his closet, where he said : ' Don Pom- 
 peyo, I know what accident has befallen you, and am surprised, I 
 own, at your forbearance. You are certainly acting a part.' ' Sire,' 
 answered I, ' how can I know whom to challenge ? I was attacked 
 in the night by persons unknown : it is a misfortune of which I must 
 make the best.' ' No, no,' replied the king, ' I am not to be duped 
 by these evasive answers. The whole story has reached my ears. 
 The Duke d'Almeyda has touched your honor to the quick. You 
 are nobly born, and a Castilian : I know what that double character 
 requires. You cherish hostile designs. Admit me a party to your 
 purposes ; it must be so. Never fear the consequences of making 
 me your confidant.' 
 
 " ' Since your majesty commands it,' resumed I, ' my sentiments 
 shall be laid open without reserve. Yes, sir, I meditate a severe re- 
 tribution. Every man, wearing such a name as mine, must account 
 for its untarnished lustre with his family. You know the unworthy 
 treatment I have experienced ; and I purpose assassinating the Duke 
 d'Almeyda, as a mode of revenge corresponding to the injury. I 
 shall plunge a dagger in his bosom, or shoot him through the head, 
 and escape, if I can, into Spain. This is my design.' 
 
 "'It is violent,' said the king: 'and yet I have little to say 
 against it, after the provocation which the Duke d'Almeyda has 
 given you. He is worthy of the punishment you destine for him. 
 But do not be in a hurry with your project. Leave me to devise a 
 method of bringing you together again as friends.' ' Oh, sir,' ex- 
 claimed I, with vexation, ' why did you extort my secret from me ? 
 What expedient can.' . . . ' If mine is not to your satisfaction,' in- 
 terrupted he, ' you may execute your first intention. I do not mean
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 163 
 
 to abuse your confidence. I shall not implicate your honor; so rest 
 contented on that head.' 
 
 " I was greatly puzzled to guess by what means the king designed 
 to terminate this affair amicably : but thus it was. He sent to speak 
 with the Duke d'Almeyda in private. ' Duke/ said he, ' you have 
 insulted Don Pompeyo de Castro. You are not ignorant that he is a 
 man of noble birth, a soldier who has served with credit, and stands 
 high in my favor. You owe him reparation.' ' I am not of a temper 
 to refuse it,' answered the duke. ' If he complains of my outrageous 
 behavior, I am ready to justify it by the law of arms.' ' Something 
 very different must be done,' replied the king : ' a Spanish gentle- 
 man understands the. point of honor too well to fight on equal terms 
 with a cowardly assassin. I can use no milder term ; and you can 
 only atone for the heinousness of your conduct by presenting a cane 
 in person to your antagonist, and offering to submit yourself to its 
 discipline.' ' Ob, heavens !' exclaimed the duke : ' what ! sir, would 
 you have a man of my rank degrade, debase himself before a simple 
 gentleman, and submit to be caned !' ' No,' replied the monarch, ' I 
 will oblige Don Pompeyo to promise not to touch you Only offer 
 him the cane, and ask his pardon : that is all I require from you.' 
 'And that is too much, sir,' interrupted the Duke d'Almeyda 
 warmly : ' I had rather remain exposed to all the secret machina- 
 tion of his resentment.' 'Your life is dear to me,' said the king; 
 ' and I should wish this affair to have no bad consequences. To ter- 
 minate it with less disgust to yourself, I will be the only witness of 
 the satisfaction which I order you to offer to the Spaniard.' 
 
 " The king was obliged to stretch his influence over the duke to 
 the utmost, before he could induce him to take so mortifying a step. 
 However, the peremptory monarch effected his purpose, and then 
 sent for me. He related the particulars of his conversation with 
 my enemy, and inquired if I should be content with the stipulated 
 reparation. I answered 'Yes,' and gave my word that, far from 
 striking the offender, I would not even accept the cane when he pre- 
 sented it. With this understanding the duke and myself at a cer- 
 tain hour attended the king, who took us into his closet. ' Come,' 
 said he to the duke, ' acknowledge your fault, and deserve to be for- 
 given by the humility of your contrition.' Then my antagonist 
 made his apology, and offered me the cane in his hand. ' Don Pom- 
 peyo,' said the monarch unexpectedly, 'take the cane, and let not 
 my presence prevent you from doing justice to your outraged honor. 
 I release you from your promise not to strike the duke.' ' No, sir/ 
 answered I, ' it is enough that he has submitted to the indignity of 
 the offer : an offended Spaniard asks no more.' ' Well, then/ re- 
 plied the king, 'since you are content with this satisfaction, you
 
 164 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 may both of you at once assume the privilege of a gentlemanly 
 quarrel. Measure your swords, and discuss the question honorably.' 
 ' It is what 1 most ardently desire,' exclaimed the Duke d'Almeyda, 
 in a menacing tone, ' for that ia only competent to make me amends 
 for the disgraceful step 1 have taken.' 
 
 " With these words he went away, full of rage and shame, and 
 sent to tell me two hours after that he was waiting for me in a re- 
 tired place. I kept the appointment, and found this nobleman 
 ready to fight lustily. He was not five-and-forty, deficient neither 
 in courage nor in skill, so that the match was fair and equal. 
 ' Come on, Don Pompeyo !' said he ; ' let us terminate our difference 
 here. Our hostility ought to be reciprocally mortal ; yours for my 
 aggression, and mine for having asked your pardon.' These words 
 were no sooner out of his mouth, than he drew upon me so suddenly 
 that I had no time to reply. He pressed very closely upon me at 
 first, but I had the good fortune to put by all his thrusts. I acted 
 on the offensive in my turn ; the encounter was evidently with a 
 man equally skilled in defence or in attack, and there is no knowing 
 what might have been the issue, if he had not made a false step 
 in retiring, and fallen backwards. I stood still immediately, and 
 said to the duke, ' Recover yourself.' ' Why give me any quarter?' 
 he answered. ' Your forbearance only aggravates my disgrace.' ' I 
 will not take advantage of an accident,' replied I; 'it would only 
 tarnish my glory. Once more recover yourself, and let us fight it 
 out.' 
 
 ' ' Don Pompeyo,' said he, rising, ' after this act of generosity, 
 honor allows me not to renew the attack upon you. What would 
 the world say of me were I to wound you mortally ? I should be 
 branded as a coward for having murdered a man at whose mercy I 
 had just lain prostrate. I cannot, therefore, again lift my arm 
 against your life, and I feel my resentful passions subsiding into the 
 sweet emotions of gratitude. Don Pompeyo, let us mutually lay 
 aside our hatred. Let us go still further : let us be friends.' ' Ah,' 
 my lord, exclaimed I, ' so nattering a proposal I joyfully accept. I 
 proffer you my sincere friendship, and, as an earnest, promise never 
 more to approach Donna Hortensia, though she herself should in- 
 vite me.' ' It is my duty,' said he, ' to yield that lady to you. Jus- 
 tice requires me to give her up, since her affections are yours 
 already.' 'No, no,' interrupted I; 'you love her. Her partiality 
 in my favor would give you uneasiness ; I sacrifice my own pleasure 
 to your peace.' 'Ah! too generous Castilian,' replied the duke, 
 embracing me, ' your sentiments are truly noble. With what re- 
 morse do they strike me ! Grieved and ashamed, I look back on the 
 outrage you have sustained. The reparation in the king's chamber
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 165 
 
 seems now too trifling. A better recompense awaits you. To 
 obliterate all remembrance of your shame, take one of my nieces, 
 whose hand is at my disposal. She is a rich heiress, not fifteen, 
 with beauty beyond the attractions of mere youth.' 
 
 " I made my acknowledgments to the duke in terms such as the 
 high honor of his alliance might suggest, and married his niece a 
 few days afterwards. All the court complimented this nobleman on 
 having made such generous amends to an insulted rival, and my 
 friends took part in my joy at the happy issue of an adventure 
 which might have led to the most melancholy consequences. From 
 this time, gentlemen, I have lived happily at Lisbon. I am the idol 
 of my wife, and have not sunk the lover in the husband. The Duke 
 d'Almeyda gives me new proofs of friendship every day, and I may 
 venture to boast of standing high in the King of Portugal's good 
 graces. The importance of my errand hither sufficiently assures me 
 of his confidence." 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 AN ACCIDENT, IN CONSEQUENCE OF WHICH GIL BLAS WAS OBLIGED 
 TO LOOK OUT FOR ANOTHER PLACE. 
 
 SUCH was Don Pompeyo's story, which Don Alexo's servant and 
 myself overheard, though we were prudently sent away before 
 he began his recital. Instead of withdrawing, we skulked behind 
 the door, which he had left half open, and from that station we did 
 not miss a word. After this, the company went on drinking; but 
 they did not prolong their carousals till the morning, because Don 
 Pompeyo, who was to speak with the prime minister, wished for a 
 little rest beforehand. The Marquis de Zenette and my master took 
 a cordial leave of the stranger, and left him with his kinsman. 
 
 We went to bed, for once, before daybreak ; and Don Matthias, 
 when he awoke, invested me with a new office. " Gil Bias," said 
 he, " take pen, ink, and paper, and write two or three letters, as I 
 shall dictate : you shall henceforth be my secretary." " Well and 
 good !" said I to myself" a plurality of functions. As footman, I 
 follow my master's heels ; as valet-de-chambre, I help him to dress ; 
 and write for him, as his secretary. Heaven be praised, for my 
 apotheosis 1 Like the triple Hecate of the Pantheon, I am to enact 
 three different characters at the same time." " Can you guess my 
 intention?" continued he. "Thus it is: but take care what you
 
 166 ADVENTURES OF GIL PL AS. 
 
 are about ; your life may depend on it. As I am continually meet- 
 ing with fellows who boast of their success among the women, I 
 mean, by way of getting the upper hand, to fill my pockets with 
 fictitious love-letters, and read them in company. It will be amusing 
 enough. Happier than my competitors, who make conquests only 
 for the pleasure of the boast, I shall take the credit of intrigue, and 
 spare myself the labor. But vary your writing, so that the manu- 
 facture may not be detected by the sameness of the hand." 
 
 I then sat down, to comply with the command of Don Matthias, 
 who first dictated a tender epistle to this tune : " You did not keep 
 your promise to-night. Ah 1 Don Matthias, how will you exculpate 
 yourself? My error was a cruel one! But you punish me de- 
 servedly for my vanity, in fancying that business and amusement 
 were all to give way before the pleasure of seeing Donna Clara de 
 Mendoza !" After this pretty note, he made me write another, as 
 if from a lady, who sacrificed a prince to him ; and then a third, 
 whose fair writer offered, if she could rely on his discretion, to em- 
 bark with him for the shores of Oytherean enchantment. It was 
 not enough to dictate these love-sick strains ; he forced me to sub- 
 scribe them, with the most high-flying names in Madrid. I could 
 not forbear hinting at some little hazard in all this, but he begged 
 me to keep my sage counsels, till they were called for. I was 
 obliged to hold my tongue, and dispatch his orders out of hand. 
 That done, he got up and dressed, with my assistance. The letters 
 were put into his pockets, and out he went. I followed him to din- 
 ner, with Don Juan de Moncade, who entertained five or six gentle- 
 men of his acquaintance that day. 
 
 There was a grand set-out, and mirth, the best relish, was not 
 wanting to the banquet. All the guests contributed to enliven the 
 conversation, some by wit and humor, others by anecdotes, of which 
 the relators were the heroes. My master would not lose so fine an 
 opportunity of bringing our joint performances to bear. He read 
 them audibly, and with so much assurance, that probably the whole 
 party, with the exception of his secretary, was taken in by the de- 
 vice. Among the company, before whom this trick was impudently 
 played off, there was one person, by name Don Lope de Velasco. 
 This person, a very grave don, instead of making himself merry, 
 like the rest, with the fictitious triumphs of the reader, asked him 
 coolly if the conquest of Donna Clara had been achieved with any 
 great difficulty? "Less than the least," answered Don Matthias; 
 "the advances were all on her side. She saw me in public, and 
 took a fancy to my person. A scout was commissioned to follow 
 me, and thus she got at my name and condition. She wrote to me, 
 and gave me an appointment, at an hour of the night when the
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 167 
 
 house was sure to be quiet. I was true as the needle to the pole ; 
 her bed-chamber was the place. . . . But prudence and delicacy 
 forbid my describing what passed there." 
 
 At this instance of tender regard for the lady's character, Signer 
 de Velasco betrayed some very passionate workings in his counte- 
 nance. It was easy to see the interest he took in the subject. "All 
 these letters," said he to my master, looking at him with an eye of 
 indignation and contempt, " are infamous forgeries ; and, above all, 
 that which you boast of having received from Donna Clara de Men- 
 doza. There is not, in all Spain, a more modest young creature 
 than herself. For these two years, a gentleman, at least your equal 
 in birth and personal merit, has been trying every method of in- 
 sinuating himself into her heart. Scarcely have his assiduities ex- 
 torted the slightest encouragement ; but yet he may flatter himself 
 that, if anything beyond common civility had been granted at all, 
 it would have been to him only." " Well, who says to the con- 
 trary ?" interrupted Don Matthias, in a bantering way. " I agree 
 with you, that the lady is a very pretty-behaved young lady. On 
 my part, I am a very pretty-behaved young gentleman. Ergo, you 
 may rest assured that nothing took place between us but what was 
 pretty and well-behaved." " Indeed ! This is too much," inter- 
 rupted Don Lope, in his turn ; " let us lay aside this unseasonable 
 jesting. You are an impostor. Donna Clara never gave you an 
 appointment by night. Her reputation shall not be blackened by 
 your ribaldry. But prudence and delicacy forbid my describing 
 what must pass between you and me." With this retort on his lips, 
 he looked contemptuously round, and withdrew with a menacing 
 aspect, which anticipated serious consequences, to my judgment. My 
 master, whose courage was better than his cause, held the threats of 
 Don Lope in derision. "A blockhead!" exclaimed he, bursting 
 into a loud laugh. " Our knights-errant used to tilt for the beauty of 
 their mistresses; this fellow would engage in the lists for the forlorn ' 
 hope of virtue in his ; he is more ridiculous than his prototypes." 
 
 Velasco's retiring, in vain opposed by Moncade, occasioned no 
 interruption to the merriment. The party, without thinking further 
 about it, kept the ball up briskly, and did not part till they had 
 made free with the next day. We went to bed that is, my master 
 and myself about five o'clock in the morning. Sleep sat heavy on 
 my eyelids, and, as I thought, was taking permanent possession 
 thereof; but I reckoned without my host, or rather without our por- 
 ter, who came and waked me in an hour, to say that there was a lad 
 inquiring for me at the door. " Oh, thou infernal porter !" muttered 
 I, indistinctly, through the interstices of a long yawn; "do you 
 consider that I have but now got to bed ? Tell the little rascal that
 
 168 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 I am just asleep ; he must come again, by-and-by." " He insists," 
 replied Cerberus, "on speaking with you instantly; his business 
 cannot wait." As that was the case, I got up, put on nothing but 
 in y Invivhi's and doublet, and went down stairs, swearing and gaping. 
 " My friend," said I, " be so good as to let me know what urgent 
 ntl'air procures me the honor of seeing you so early?" "I have a 
 K'tti-r," answered he, "to deliver personally into the hands of Signer 
 Don Matthias, to be read by him without loss of time; it is of the 
 last consequence to him ; pray, show me into his room." As I 
 thought the matter looked serious, I took the liberty of disturbing 
 my master. " Excuse me," said I, " for waking you, but the press- 
 ing nature." ... " What do you want?" interrupted he, just in 
 ray style with the porter. ".Sir," said the lad, who was at my elbow, 
 " here is a letter from Don Lope de Velasco." Don Matthias looked 
 at the cover, broke it, and, after reading the contents, said to the 
 messenger of Don Lope, " My good fellow, I never get up before 
 noon, let the party be ever so agreeable; judge whether I can be 
 expected to be stirring by six in the morning for a small-sword re- 
 creation. You may tell your master that, if he chooses to kick his 
 heels at the spot till half-past twelve, we will come and see how he 
 looks there ; carry him that answer." With this flippant speech, he 
 plunged down snugly under the bed-clothes, and fell fast asleep 
 again, as if nothing had happened. 
 
 Between eleven and twelve, he got up and dressed himself, with 
 the utmost composure, and went out, telling me that there was no 
 occasion for my attendance ; but I was too much on the tenterhooks 
 about the result to mind his orders. I sneaked after him, to Saint 
 Jerome's meadow, where I .saw Don Lope de Velasco waiting for 
 him. I took my station to watch them ; and was an eye-witness to 
 all the circumstances of their encounter. They saluted, and began 
 their fierce debate without delay. The engagement lasted long. 
 They exchanged thrusts alternately, with equal skill and mettle. 
 The victory, however, was on the side of Don Lope ; he ran my 
 master through, laid him helpless on the ground, and made his 
 escape, with apparent satisfaction at the severe reprisal. I ran up 
 to the unfortunate Don Matthias, and found him in a most desper- 
 ate situation. The sight melted me. I could not help weeping at 
 a catastrophe to which I had been an involuntary contributor. 
 Nevertheless, with all sympathy, I had still my little wits about me. 
 Home went I, in a hurry, without saying a word. I made up a bun- 
 dle of my own goods and chattels, inadvertently slipping in some 
 odd articles belonging to my master; and when I had deposited 
 tlii> with the barber, where my dress, as a fine gentleman, was still 
 lodged, I published the news of the fatal accident. Any gaper
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 169 
 
 might have it for the trouble of listening; and, above all, I took 
 care to make Rodriguez acquainted with it. He would have been 
 extremely afflicted, but that his own proceedings in this delicate 
 case required all his attention. He called the servants together, 
 ordered them to follow him, and we all repaired to Saint Jerome's 
 meadow. Don Matthias was taken up alive, but he died three hours 
 after he was brought home. Thus ended the life of Signor Don 
 Matthias de Silva, only for having taken a fancy to reading supposi- 
 titious love-letters unseasonably. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A NEW SERVICE AFTER THE DEATH OF DON MATTHIAS DE SILVA. 
 
 SOME days after the .funeral, the establishment was paid up and 
 discharged. I fixed my headquarters with the little barber, in 
 a very close connection with whom I began to live. It seemed to 
 promise more pleasure than with Melendez. As I was in no want 
 of money, it was time enough to think of another place; besides, I 
 had got to be rather nice on that head. I would not go into service 
 any more, but in families above the vulgar. In short, I was deter- 
 mined to inquire, very strictly, into the character of a new place. 
 The best would not be too good; such high pretensions did the late 
 valet of a young nobleman think himself entitled to assume above 
 the common herd of servants. 
 
 Waiting till fortune should throw a situation in my way, worthy 
 to be honored by my acceptance, I thought I could not do better 
 than to devote my leisure to my charming Laura, whom I had not 
 seen since the pleasant occurrence of our double discovery. I could 
 not venture on dressing as Don Caesar de Ribera; it would have 
 been an act of madness to have assumed that style but as a dis- 
 guise. Besides that, my own suit was not much out of condition ; 
 all smaller articles had propagated miraculously in the aforesaid 
 bundle. I made myself up, therefore, with the barber's aid, as a 
 sort of middle man between Don Caesar and Gil Bias. In this 
 demi-character, I knocked at Arsenia's door. Laura was alone in 
 the parlor where we had met last. " Ah ! is it you ?" cried she, as 
 soon as she saw me ; " I thought you were lost. You have had leave 
 to come and see me for this week ; but it seems you are modest, and 
 do not presume too much on your license."
 
 170 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 I made my apology on the score of my master's death, with my 
 own engagements consequent thereupon ; and I added, in the spirit 
 of gallantry, that in my greatest perplexities my lovely Laura had 
 always been foremost in my thoughts. " That being so," said she, 
 " I have no more reproaches to make, and I will frankly own that I 
 have thought of you. As soon as I was acquainted with the un- 
 timely end of Don Matthias, a plan occurred to me, probably not 
 quite displeasing to you. I heard my mistress say, some time ago, 
 that she wanted a sort of man of business a good arithmetician 
 to keep an exact account of our outgoings. I fixed my affections on 
 your lordship ; you seem exactly calculated for such an office." " I 
 feel myself," answered I, " a steward by inspiration. I have read 
 all that Aristotle has written on finance ; and as for reducing it to 
 the modern system of book-keeping. . . . But, my dear girl, 
 there is one impediment in the way." " What impediment ?" said 
 Laura. "I have sworn," replied I, "never again to live with a 
 commoner ; I have sworn by Styx, or something else as binding. If 
 Jupiter could not burst the links of such an oath, judge whether a 
 poor servant ought not to be bound by it." " What do you mean by 
 a commoner?" rejoined the impetuous abigail; "for what do you 
 take us actresses ? Do you take us for the ribs of the limbs of the 
 law ! for attorneys' wives ? I would have you to know, my friend, 
 that actresses rank with the first nobility, being, only common to 
 the uncommon, and, therefore, though common, uncommonly illus- 
 trious." " On that footing, my uncommon commoner," said I, "the 
 post you have destined for me is mine ; I shall not lower my dig- 
 nity by accepting it." "No, to be sure," said she ; "backward and 
 forward between a puppy of fashion and a she-wolf of the stage ; 
 why, it is exactly preserving an equilibrium of rank in the creation. 
 We are sympathetic animals, just on a level with the people of qua- 
 lity. We have our equipages in the same style ; we give our little 
 suppers on the same scale ; and, on the broad ground, we are just of 
 as much use in civil society. In fact, to draw a parallel between a 
 marquis and a player through the space of four-and-twenty hours, 
 they are just on a par. The marquis, for three-fourths of the time, 
 ranks above the player by political courtesy and sufferance ; the 
 player, during his hour on the stage, overtops the marquis in the 
 part of an emperor or a king, which he better knows how to enact. 
 Thus, there seems to be a balance between natural and political 
 nobility, which places us at least on a level with the live lumber of 
 the court." "Yes, truly," replied I, "you are a match for one 
 another : there is no gainsaying it. Bless their dear hearts ! the 
 players are not men of straw, as I foolishly believed, and you have 
 made my mouth water to serve such a worshipful fraternity."
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 171 
 
 " Well, then," resumed she, " you have only to come back again in 
 two days. That time will be sufficient to incline my mistress in 
 your favor ; I will speak up for you. She is a little under my influ- 
 ence ; I do not fear bringing you under this roof." 
 
 I thanked Laura for her good dispositions. My gratitude took 
 the readiest way to prove itself to her comprehension, and my ten- 
 der thrillings expressed more than words. We had a pretty long 
 conversation together, and it might have lasted till this time, if a 
 skipping little fellow had not come to tell my nymph of the side 
 scenes that Arsenia was inquiring for her. We parted. I left the 
 house, in the sweet hope of soon living there scot-free. My face was 
 shown up again at the door in two days. " I was looking out for 
 you," said my accomplished scout, " to assure you that you are a 
 messmate at this house. Come, follow me ; I will introduce you to 
 my mistress." At these words she led me into a suite of five or six 
 rooms on a floor, in a regular gradation of costly furniture and 
 tasteful equipment. 
 
 What luxury ! What magnificence ! I thought myself in pre- 
 sence of a vice-queen, or, to mend the poverty of the comparison, 
 in a fairy palace, where all the riches of the earth were collected. 
 In fact, there were the productions of many people and of many 
 countries, so that one might describe this residence as the temple of 
 a goddess, whither every traveller brought some rare product of his 
 native land as a votive offering. The divinity was reclining on a 
 luxurious satin sofa ; she was lovely in my eyes, and pampered with 
 the fumes of daily sacrifices. She was in a tempting dishabille, and 
 her polished hands were busy about an elegant new head-dress for 
 her appearance that evening. " Madam," said the abigail, " here is 
 that said steward ; take my word for it, you will never get one more 
 to your liking." Arsenia looked at me very inquisitively, and did 
 not find me disagreeable. " Why, this is something, Laura 1" cried 
 she ; " a very smart youth, truly ; I foresee that we shall do very well 
 together." Then, directing her discourse to me, "Young man," 
 added she, " you suit me to a hair, and I have only one observation 
 to make : you will be pleased with me if I am so with you." I an- 
 swered that I should do my utmost to serve her to her heart's con- 
 tent. As I found that the bargain was struck, I went immediately 
 to fetch in my own little accommodations, and returned to take 
 formal possession.
 
 172 ADVENTUliES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 MUCH SUCH ANOTHER AS THE FOREGOING. 
 
 IT was near the time of the doors opening. My mistress told me 
 to attend her to the theatre with Laura. We went into her 
 dressing-room, where she threw off her ordinary attire, and assumed 
 a more splendid costume for the stage. When the performance 
 began, Laura showed me the way, and seated herself' by my side, 
 where I could see and hear the actors to advantage. They disgusted 
 me for the most part, doubtless because Don Pompeyo had preju- 
 diced me against them. Several of them were loudly applauded, but 
 the fable of the pig would now and then come across my mind. 
 
 Laura told me the names of the actors and actresses as they made 
 their entrances. Nor did she stop there, for the hussy gave some 
 highly-seasoned anecdotes into the bargain. Her characters were, 
 crack-brain for this, impertinent fellow for that. " That delicate 
 sample of sin, who depends on her wantonness for her attractions, 
 goes by the name of Rosarda : a bad speculation for the company I 
 She ought to be sent with the next cargo to New Spain, she may 
 answer the purpose of a viceroy. Take particular notice of that 
 brilliant star now coming forward; that magnificent setting sun, 
 increasing in bulk as its fires become less livid. That is Casilda. 
 If from that distant day when she first laid herself open to her lovers 
 she had required of each of them a brick to build a pyramid, like 
 an ancient Egyptian princess, the edifice by this time would have 
 mounted to the third heaven." In short, Laura tore all characters 
 to pieces by her scandal. Heaven forgive her wicked tongue ! She 
 blasphemed her own mistress. 
 
 And yet I must own my weakness. I was in love with the wench, 
 though her morals were not strictly pure. She scandalized with so 
 winning a malignity that one liked her the better for it. Off went 
 the jill-flirt between the acts, to see if Arsenia wanted her; but 
 instead of coming straight back to her place, she amused herself 
 behind the scenes, in laying herself out for the little flatteries of 
 all the wheedling fellows. I dogged her once, and found that she 
 had a very large acquaintance. No less than three players did I 
 reckon up, who stopped to chat with her one after the other, and 
 they seemed to be on a very improvable footing. This was not 
 quite so well ; and, for the first time in my life, I felt what jealousy 
 was. I returned to my seat so absent and out of spirits, that Laura 
 remarked it as soon as she came back to me. " What is the matter, 
 Gil Bias?" said she with astonishment; "what blue devil has
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 173 
 
 perched upon your~shoulder in my absence ? You look gloomy and 
 out of temper." " My fairy queen," answered I, " it is not without 
 reason ; you have an ugly kick in your gallop. I have observed 
 you with the players." ..." So, so ! An admirable subject for a 
 long face," interrupted she with a laugh. " What ! That is your 
 trouble, is it ? Why, really ! you are a very silly swain ; but you 
 will get better notions among us. You will fall by degrees into our 
 easy manners. No jealousy, my dear creature; you will be com- 
 pletely laughed out of it in the theatrical world. The passion is 
 scarcely known there. Fathers, husbands, brothers, uncles, and 
 cousins, are all upon a liberal plan of community, and often make 
 a strange jumble of relationships." 
 
 After having warned me to take no umbrage, but to Took at every- 
 thing like a philosophical spectator, she vowed that I was the happy 
 mortal who had found the way to her heart. She then declared 
 that she should love me always, and only me. On this assurance, 
 which a man might have doubted without criminal scepticism, I 
 promised her not to be alarmed any more, and kept my word. I 
 saw her, on that very evening,, whisper and giggle with more men 
 than one. At the end of the play we returned home with our mis- 
 tress, whither Florimonde came soon after to supper, with three old 
 noblemen and a player. Besides Laura and myself, the establish- 
 ment consisted of a cook-maid, a coachman, and a little footboy. 
 We all labored in our respective vocations. The lady of the frying- 
 pan, no less an adept than dame Jacintha, was assisted in her 
 cookery by the coachman. The waiting-woman and the little foot- 
 boy laid the cloth, and I set out the sideboard, magnificently fur- 
 nished with plate, offered up at the shrine of our green-room goddess. 
 There was every variety of wines, and I played the cup-bearer, to 
 show my mistress the versatilityof my talents. I sweated at the 
 impudence of the actresses during supper ; they gave themselves 
 quality airs, and affected the tone of high life. Far from giving 
 their guests all their style and titles, they did not even vouchsafe a 
 simple " Your lordship," but called them familiarly by their proper 
 names. To be sure, the old fools encouraged their vanity by for- 
 getting their own distance. The player, for his part, in the habits 
 of the heroic cast, lived on equal terms with them ; he challenged 
 them to drink, and in every respect took the upper hand. " In good 
 truth," said I to myself, " while Laura was demonstrating the 
 equality of the marquis and the comedian during the day, she might 
 have drawn a still stronger inference for the night, since they pass 
 it so merrily in drinking together." 
 
 Arsenia and Florimonde were naturally frolicsome. A thousand 
 broad hints escaped them, intermingled with small favors, and then
 
 174 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 a coquettish revolt at their own freedom, which were all seasoned 
 exactly to the taste of these old sinners. While my mistress was 
 entertaining one of them with a little harmless toying, her friend, 
 between the other elders, had not taken the cue of Susanna. While 
 I was contemplating this picture, which had but too many attractions 
 for a knowing youth like me, the dessert was brought in. Then I 
 set the bottles and glasses on the table, and made my escape to sup 
 with Laura, who was waiting for me. " How now, Gil Bias," said 
 she, " what do you think of those noblemen above stairs ?" " Doubt- 
 less," answered I, " they are deeply smitten with Arsenia and Flor- 
 imonde." " No," replied she, " they are old sensualists, who hang 
 about our sex without any particular attachment. All they ask is 
 some little frivolous compliance, and they are generous enough to 
 pay well for the least trifle of amorous endearment. Heaven be 
 praised I Florimonde and my mistress are at present without any 
 serious engagements ; I mean that they have no husband-like lovers, 
 who expect to engross all the pleasures of a house, because they 
 stand to the expenses. I am very glad of it: a sensible woman 
 of the world ought to refuse all such monopolies. Why take a 
 master? It is better to support an establishment by retail trade, 
 than to confine one's self to chamber practice on such terms." 
 
 When Laura's tongue was wound up and it was seldom down 
 words seemed to cost her nothing. What a glorious volubility I She 
 told a thousand stories of the actresses belonging to the prince's 
 company; and I gathered from her whole drift that I could not be 
 better situated to take a scientific view of the cardinal vices. -Un- 
 fortunately, I was at an age when they inspire but little horror; and 
 this abigail had the art of coloring her corruptions so lusciously as 
 to hide their deformities, and heighten their meretricious lure. She 
 had not time to open the tenth part of her theatrical budget, for she 
 did not talk more than three hours. The senators and the player 
 went away with Florimonde, whom they saw safe home. 
 
 When they were gone, my mistress said to me: " Here, Gil Bias, 
 are ten pistoles to go to market to-morrow. Five or six of our gen- 
 tlemen and ladies are to dine here; take care that we are well 
 served." " Madam," answered I, " with this sum there shall be a 
 banquet for the whole troop." "My friend," replied Arsenia, " cor- 
 rect your phraseology; you must say company, not troop. A troop 
 of robbers, a troop of beggars, a troop of authors; but a company of 
 comedians, especially when you have to mention the actors of 
 Madrid." I begged my mistress's pardon for having used so disre- 
 spectful a term, and entreated her to excuse my ignorance. I pro- 
 tested that henceforward, when I spoke collectively of so august a 
 body, I would always say the " company."
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 175 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 A THEATRICAL LIFE AND AN AUTHOR'S LIFE. 
 
 I TOOK the field the next morning, to open my campaign as 
 steward. It was a fish day, for which reason I bought some good 
 fat chickens, rabbits, partridges, and every variety of game. As the 
 gentlemen of the sock and buskin are not on the best possible terms 
 with the church, they are not over scrupulous in their observance of 
 the rubric. I brought home provisions more than enough for a 
 dozen portly gentlemen to have fasted on during a whole Lent. The 
 cook had a good morning's work. While she was getting dinner 
 ready, Arsenia got up and spent the early part of the day at her 
 toilet. At noon came two of the players, Signer Rosimiro and 
 Signer Eicardo. Afterwards, two actresses, Constance and Celi- 
 naura; then entered Florimonde, attended by a man who had all 
 the appearance of a most spruce cavalier. He had his hair dressed 
 in the most elegant manner, his hat set off with a fashionable plume, 
 very tight breeches, and a shirt with a laced frill. His gloves and 
 his handkerchief were in the hilt of his sword, and he wore his cloak 
 with a grace altogether peculiar to himelf. 
 
 With a prepossessing physiognomy, and a good person, there was 
 something extraordinary in the first blush of him. " This gentle- 
 man," said I to myself, " must be an original." I was not mis- 
 taken; his singularities were striking. On his entrance, he ran, 
 with open arms, and embraced the company, male and female, one 
 after another. His grimaces were more extravagant than any I had 
 yet seen in this region of foppery. My prediction was not falsified 
 by his discourse. He dwelt with fondness on every syllable he 
 uttered, and pronounced his words in an emphatic tone, with ges- 
 tures and glances artfully adapted to the subject. I had the curiosity 
 to ask Lnura who this strange figure might be. " I forgive you," 
 said she, " this instance of an inquisitive disposition. It is impossible 
 to see and to hear Signer Carlos Alonso de la Ventoleria for the first 
 time without having such a natural longing. I will paint him to the 
 life. In the first place, he was originally a player. He left the 
 stage through caprice, and has since repented in sober sadness of the 
 step. Did you notice his dark hair ? Every thread of it is pencilled, 
 as well as his eyebrows and his whiskers. He was born in the 
 reign of Saturn's father in the age before the golden ; but as there 
 were no parish registers at that time, he avails himself of the primi- 
 tive barbarism, and dates at least twenty centuries below the true 
 epoch. Moreover, his self-sufficiency keeps pace with his antiquity.
 
 176 ADVENTURXS OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 He passed the olympiads of his youth in the grossest ignorance ; but 
 taking a fancy to become learned about the Christian era, he en- 
 gaged a private tutor, who taught him to spell in Greek and Latin. 
 Nay, more, he knows by heart an infinite nuaiber of good stories, 
 which he has given so often as genuine, that he actually begins to 
 believe them himself. They are eternally pressed into the service, 
 and it may truly be said that his wit shines at the expense of his 
 memory. He is thought to be a great actor. I am willing to believe 
 it implicitly, but I must own he is not to my taste. He declaims 
 here sometimes ; and I have observed, among other defects, an affec- 
 tation in his delivery, with a tremulousness of voice bordering on 
 the antiquated and ridiculous." 
 
 Such was the portrait drawn by my abigail of this honorary 
 spouter; and never was mortal of a more stately carriage. He 
 prided himself, too, on being an agreeable companion. He never 
 was at a loss for a commodity of trite remarks, which he delivered 
 with an air of authority. On the other hand, the Thespian frater- 
 nity were not much addicted to silence. They began canvassing 
 their absent colleagues in a manner little consistent with charity, it 
 must be owned ; but this is a failing pardonable in players as well 
 as in authors. The fire grew brisk and the satire personal. " You 
 have not heard, ladies," said Rosimiro, " a new stroke of our dear 
 brother Cesarino. This very morning he bought silk stockings, rib- 
 bons, and laces, and sent them to rehearsal by a little page, as a 
 present from a countess." " What a knavish trick !" said Signer de 
 la Ventoleria, with a smile made up of fatuity and conceit. " In my 
 time there was more honesty : we never thought of descending to 
 such impositions. To be sure, women of fashion were tender to our 
 inventive faculties, nor did they leave such purchases to be made 
 out of our own pockets; it was their whim." " By the honor of our 
 house," said Eicardo, in the same strain, "that whim of theirs is 
 lasting, and if it were allowable to kiss and tell. . . . But one must 
 be secret on these occasions; above all when persons of a certain 
 rank are concerned." 
 
 "Gentlemen," interrupted Florimonde, "a truce, if you please, 
 with your conquests and successes, they are known over the whole 
 earth. Apropos of Ismene. It is said that the nobleman who has 
 fooled away so much money upon her has at length recovered his 
 senses." "Yes indeed," exclaimed Constance; "and I can tell you 
 besides that she has lost, by the same stroke, a snug little hero of 
 the counting-house, whose ruin would otherwise have been signed 
 and sealed. I have the thing from the first hand. Her Mercury 
 made an unfortunate mistake, for he carried a tender invitation to 
 each, and delivered them wrong." "These were great losses, my
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL ULAS. 177 
 
 darling," quoth Florimonde. " Oh, as for that of the lord," replied 
 Constance, "it is a very trifling matter. The man of blood had 
 almost run through his estate, but the little fellow with the pen 
 behind his ear was but just coming into play. He had never been 
 fleeced before, it is a pity he should have escaped so easily." 
 
 Such was the tenor of the conversation before dinner, and it was 
 not much mended in its morality at table. As I should never have 
 done with the recital of all their ribaldry and nonsense, the reader 
 will excuse the omission, and pass on to the entrance of a poor 
 devil, yclept an author, who called just before the cloth was taken 
 away. 
 
 Our little footboy came, and said to my mistress in an audible 
 voice, " Madam, a man in a dirty shirt, splashed up to his middle, 
 with very much the look of a poet, saving your presence, wants to 
 speak to you." "Let him walk up," answered Arsenia. "Keep 
 your seats, gentlemen, it is only an author." To be sure so it was, 
 one whose tragedy had been accepted, and he was bringing my mis- 
 tress her part. His name was Pedro de Moya. On coming into the 
 room he made five or six low bows to the company, who neither 
 rose nor took the least notice of him. Arsenia just returned his 
 superabundant civilities with a slight inclination of the head. He 
 came forward with tremor and embarrassment. He dropped hi 
 gloves and let his hat fall. He ventured to pick them up again, 
 then advanced towards my mistress, and presenting to her a paper 
 with more ceremony than a defendant an affidavit to the judge of 
 the court : " Madam," said he, " have the goodness to receive under 
 your protection the part I take the liberty of offering you." She 
 stretched out her hand for it with cold and contemptuous indiffer- 
 ence ; nor did she condescend even to notice the compliment by a 
 look. 
 
 But our author was not disheartened. Seizing this opportunity 
 to distribute the cast, he gave one character to Rosimiro and another 
 to Florimonde, who treated him just as genteelly as Arsenia had 
 done. On the contrary, the low comedian, a very pleasant fellow, 
 as those gentlemen for the most part affect to be, insulted him with 
 the most cutting sarcasms. Pedro de Moya was not made of stone. 
 Yet he dared not take up the aggressor, lest his piece should suffer 
 for it. He withdrew without saying a word, but stung to the quick, 
 as it seemed to me, by his reception. He could not fail, in the 
 transports of his anger, mentally to apostrophize the players as 
 they deserved : and the players, when he was gone, began to talk 
 of authors in return with infinite deference and kindness. "It 
 should seem," said Florimonde, "as if Signer de Moya did not go 
 away very well pleased." " Well ! madam," cried Bosimiro, " and 
 12
 
 178 ADVENTUKES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 why should you trouble yourself about that? Are we to study the 
 feelings of authors ? If we were to admit them upon equal terms, 
 it would only be the way to spoil them. I know that contemptible 
 squad ; I know them of old : they would soon forget their distance. 
 There is no dealing with them but as slaves; and as for tiring their 
 patience, never fear that. Though they may take themselves off in 
 a pet sometimes, the itch of writing brings them back again ; and 
 they are raised to the third heaven, if we will but condescend to 
 support their pieces." " You are right," said Arsenia ; " we never 
 lose an author till we have made his fortune. When that is done, 
 as soon as we have provided for the ungrateful devils, they get to 
 be in good case, and then they run restive. Luckily, the manager 
 does not break his heart after them, and one is just as good as 
 another to the public." 
 
 These liberal and sagacious remarks met with their full share of 
 approbation. It was carried unanimously that authors, though 
 treated rather too scurvily behind the scenes, were on the whole the 
 obliged persons. These fretters of an hour upon the stage ranked 
 the inhabitant of Parnassus below themselves; and malice could 
 not degrade him lower. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 GIL BLAS ACQUIRES A RELISH FOR THE THEATRE, AND TAKES A FULL 
 SWING OP ITS PLEASURES, BUT SOON BECOMES DISGUSTED. 
 
 THE party sat at the table till it was time to go to the theatre. 
 I went after them, and saw the play again that evening. I 
 took such delight in it, that I was for attending every day. I never 
 missed, and by degrees got accustomed to the actors. Such is the 
 force of habit. I was particularly delighted with those who were 
 most artificial and unnatural ; nor was I singular in my taste. The 
 beauties of composition affected me much on the same principle as 
 the excellence of representation. There were some pieces with 
 which I was enraptured. I liked, among others, those which 
 brought all the cardinals or the twelve peers of France upon the 
 stage. I got hold of striking passages in these incomparable per- 
 formances. I recollect that in two days I learned by heart a whole 
 play, called "The Queen of Flowers." The Eose, who was the 
 queen, had the Violet for her maid of honor, and the Jessamine for 
 her prime minister. I could conceive nothing more elegant or re-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 179 
 
 fined : such productions seemed to be the triumph of our Spanish 
 wit and invention. 
 
 I was not content to store my memory and discipline my mind 
 with the choicest selections from these dramatic masterpieces ; but 
 I was bent on polishing my taste to the highest perfection, To 
 secure this grand object, I listened with greedy ears to every word 
 which fell from the lips of the players. If they commended a piece, 
 I was ravished by it : but suppose they pronounced it bad ? why 
 then I maintained that it was infernal stuff. I conceived that they 
 must determine the merits of a play, as a jeweller the water of a 
 diamond. And yet the tragedy by Pedro de Moya was eminently 
 successful, though they had predicted its entire miscarriage. This, 
 however, was no disparagement of their critical skill in my estima- 
 tion ; and I had rather believe the audience to be divested of com- 
 mon sense_, than doubt the infallibility of the company. But they 
 assured me on all hands, that their judgments were usually con- 
 firmed by the rule of contraries. It seemed to be a maxim with 
 them, to set their faces point-blank against the taste of the public ; 
 and as a proof of this, there were a thousand cases in point of unex- 
 pected successes and failures. All these testimonies were scarcely 
 sufficient to undeceive me. 
 
 I shall never forget what happened one day at the first represen- 
 tation of a new comedy. The performers had pronounced it unin- 
 teresting and tedious ; they had even prophesied that it would not 
 be heard to the end. Under this impression, they got through the 
 first act, which was loudly applauded. This was very astonishing ! 
 They played the second act ; the audience liked it still better than 
 the first. The actors were confounded. "What the devil," said 
 Rosimiro, " this comedy succeeds !" At last they went on in the 
 third act, which rose as a third act ought to rise. " I am quite 
 thrown upon my back," said Ricardo ; " we thought this piece would 
 not be relished ; and all the world are mad after it." " Gentle- 
 men," said one of the players archly, " it is because we happened 
 accidentally to overlook all the wit." 
 
 From this time I held my opinion no longer of the players as 
 competent judges, and began to appreciate their merit more truly 
 than they had estimated that of the authors. All the lampoons 
 which were current about them were fully justified. The actors 
 and actresses ran riot on the applause of the town, and stood so 
 high in their own conceit, as to think that they conferred a favor by 
 appearing on the boards. I was shocked at their public miscon- 
 duct; but unfortunately reconciled myself too easily to their private 
 manners, and plunged into debauchery. How could I do otherwise? 
 Every word they uttered was poison in the ears of youth, and every
 
 180 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 scene that was presented, an alluring picture of corruption. Had I 
 been a stranger to what passed with Casilda, with Constance, and 
 with the other actresses, Arsenia's house alone would have been 
 sufficient for my ruin. Besides the old noblemen of whom I have 
 spoken, there came thither young debauchees of fashion, who fore- 
 stalled their inheritances by the disinterested mediation of money- 
 lenders ; and sometimes we had officers under government, who 
 were so far from receiving fees, as at their public boards, that they 
 paid most exorbitant ones for the privilege of mixing with such 
 worshipful society. 
 
 Florimonde, who lived next door, dined and supped with Arsenia 
 every day. Their long intimacy surprised every one. Coquettes 
 were not thought usually to maintain so good an understanding with 
 each other. It was concluded that they would quarrel, sooner or 
 later, about some paramour ; but such reasoners could not see into 
 the hearts of these exemplary friends. They were united in the 
 bonds of indissoluble love. Instead of harboring jealousy, like 
 other women, they had everything in common. They had rather 
 divide the plunder of mankind, than childishly fall out, and con- 
 tend for trumpery, as hearts and affections. 
 
 Laura, after the example of these two illustrious partners, turned 
 the fresh season of youth to the best advantage. She had told me 
 that I should see strange doings. And yet I did not take up the 
 jealous part. I had promised to adopt the principles of the com- 
 pany on tha.t score. For some days I kept my thoughts to myself. 
 I only just took the liberty of asking her the names of the men 
 whom she favored with her private ear. She always told me that they 
 were uncles or cousins. From what a prolific family was she sprung I 
 King Priam had no luck in propagation, compared with her ances- 
 tors. Nor did this precious abigail confine herself to her uncles and 
 cousins : she went now and then to lay a trap for unwary aliens, and 
 personate the widow of quality under the auspices of the discreet 
 old dowager above mentioned. In short, Laura, to hit off her char- 
 acter exactly, was just as young, just as pretty, and just as loose as 
 her mistress, who had no other advantage over her than that of 
 figuring in a more public capacity. 
 
 I was borne down by the torrent for three weeks, and ran the 
 career of dissipation in my turn. But I must at the same time say 
 for myself, that in the midst of pleasure I frequently felt the still 
 small voice of conscience, arising from the impression of a serious 
 education, which mixed gall in the Circean cup. Riot could not 
 altogether get the better of remorse : on the contrary, the pangs of 
 the last grew keener with the more shameless indulgence of the first; 
 and, by a happy effect of my temperament, the disorders of a theat-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 181 
 
 rical life began to make me shudder. " Ah I wretch," said I to 
 myself, "is it thus that you make good the hopes of your family? 
 Is it not enough to have thwarted their pious intentions, by not fol- 
 lowing your destined course of life as an instructor of youth? Need 
 your condition of a servant hinder you from living decently and 
 soberly ? Are such monsters of iniquity fit companions for you ? 
 Envy, hatred, and avarice are predominant here ; intemperance and 
 idleness have purchased the fee-simple there ; the pride of some is 
 aggravated into the most barefaced impudence, and modesty is 
 turned out of doors, by the common consent of all. The business 
 is settled : I will not live any longer with the seven deadly sins."
 
 182 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 BOOK IV 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 GIL BLAS, NOT BEING ABLE TO' RECONCILE HIMSELF TO THE MORALS 
 OF THE ACTBESSES, QUITS ARSENIA, AND GETS INTO A MORE RE- 
 PUTABLE SERVICE. 
 
 A SURVIVING spark of honor and of religion, in the midst of 
 so general depravity, made me resolve not only to leave Ar- 
 senia, but even to abjure all commerce with Laura, whom yet I 
 could not cease to love, though I was well aware of her daily incon- 
 stancy. Happy the man who can thus profit by those appeals which 
 occasionally interrupt the headlong course of his pleasures ! One 
 fine morning, I made up my bundle, and, without reckoning with 
 Arseuia, who indeed owed me next to nothing, without taking leave 
 of my dear Laura, I burst from that mansion, which smelt of brim- 
 stone and fire reserved for the wicked. I had no sooner taken so 
 virtuous a step, than providence interfered in my behalf. I met the 
 steward of my late master, Don Matthias, and greeted him ; he knew 
 me again at once, and stopped to inquire where I lived. I answered 
 that I had just left my place ; that after staying near a month with 
 Arsenia, whose manners did not at all suit me, I was come away by 
 a sudden impulse of virtue, to save my innocence. The steward, 
 just as if he had been himself of a religious cast, commended my 
 scruples, and offered me a place much to my advantage, since I was 
 so chaste and honest a youth. He kept his word, and introduced 
 me, on that very day, into the family of Don Vincent de Gusman, 
 with whose agent he was acquainted. 
 
 I could not have got into a better service ; nor did I repent in the 
 sequel of having accepted the situation. Don Vincent was a very 
 rich old nobleman, who had lived many years unincumbered with 
 lawsuits or with a wife. The physicians had removed the last plague 
 out of the way, in their attempts to rid her of a cough, which might 
 have lasted a great while longer, if the remedies had not been more 
 fatal than the disease. Far from thinking of the holy state a second 
 time, he gave himself up entirely to the education of his only 
 daughter Aurora, who was then entering her twenty-sixth year, and 
 might pass for an accomplished person. With beauty above the 
 common, she had an excellent and highly-cultivated understanding. 
 Her father was a poor creature as to intellect, but he possessed the
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 183 
 
 happy talent of looking well after his affairs. One fault he had, of 
 a kind excusable in old men : he was an incessant talker, especially 
 about war and fighting. If that string was unfortunately touched in 
 his presence, in a moment he blew his heroic trumpet, and his hear* 
 ers might think themselves lucky if they compounded for a gazette 
 extraordinary of two sieges and three battles. As he had spent two- 
 thirds of his life in the service, his memory was an inexhaustible 
 depot of various facts ; but the patience of the listeners did not always 
 keep pace with the perseverance of the relater. The stories, suffi- 
 ciently prolix themselves, were still further spun out by stuttering, 
 so that the manner was still less happy than the matter. In all other 
 respects, I never met with a nobleman of a more amiable character j 
 his temper was even ; he was neither obstinate nor capricious ; the 
 general alternative of men in the higher ranks of life. Though a 
 good economist, he lived like a gentleman. His establishment was 
 composed of several men servants, and three women in waiting on 
 Aurora. I soon discovered that the steward of Don Matthias had 
 procured me a good post, and my only anxiety was to establish my- 
 self firmly in it. I took all possible pains to feel the ground under 
 my feet, and to study the characters of the whole household : then 
 regulating my conduct by my discoveries, I was not long in ingrati- 
 ating myself with my master and all the servants. 
 
 I had been with Don Vincent above a month, when it struck me 
 that his daughter yvas very particular in her notice of me above all 
 the servants in the family. Whenever her eyes happened accident- 
 ally to meet mine, they seemed to be suffused with a certain partial 
 complacency, which did not enter into her silent communications 
 with the vulgar. Had it not been for my haunts among the cox- 
 combs of the theatrical tribe and their hangers-on, it would never 
 have entered into my head that Aurora should throw away a thought 
 on me ; but my brain had been a little turned among those gentry, 
 from whose libertine suspicions ladies of the noblest birth are not 
 always held sacred. "If," said I, "those chronicles of the. age are 
 to be believed, fancy and high^blood lead women of quality a dance, 
 in which they sometimes join hands with unequal partners: how do 
 I know but my young mistress may caper to a tune of my piping? 
 But no ; it cannot be so, neither. This is not one of your Messalinas, 
 who, derogating from the loftiness of ancestry, unworthily let down 
 their regards to the dust, and sully their pure honor without a blush ; 
 but rather one of those virtuously apprehensive, yet tender-hearted 
 girls, who encircle their softness within the insurmountable pale of 
 delicacy ; yet think it no tampering with chastity, to inspire and 
 cherish a sentimental flame, interesting to the heart without being 
 dangerous to the morals."
 
 184 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 Such were my ideas of my mistress, without knowing exactly 
 whether they were right or wrong. And yet, when we met, she was 
 continually caught with a smile of satisfaction on her countenance. 
 Without passing for a fop, a man might give in to such flattering 
 appearances ; and a philosophical apathy was not to be expected 
 from me. I conceived Aurora to have been deeply smitten with my 
 irresistible attractions, and looked on myself henceforth in the light 
 of a favored attendant, whose servitude was to be sweetened by the 
 balmy infusion of love. To appear in some measure less unworthy 
 of the blessings which propitious fortune had kept in store for me, 
 I began to take better care of my person than I had done heretofore. 
 I laid out my slender stock of money in linen, pomatums, and 
 essences. The first thing in the morning was to prank up and per- 
 fume myself, so as not to be in an undress in case of being sent for 
 into the presence of my mistress. With these attentions to personal 
 elegance and other dexterous strokes in the art of pleasing, I flat- 
 tered myself that the moment of my bliss was not very distant. 
 
 Among Aurora's women there was one who went by the name of 
 Ortiz. This was an old dowager, who had been a fixture in Don 
 Vincent's family for more than twenty years. She had been about 
 his daughter from her childhood, and still held the office of duenna ; 
 but she no longer performed the invidious part of the duty. On the 
 contrary, instead of blazoning, as formerly, Aurora's little indiscre- 
 tions, her skill was now employed in throwing them into shade. 
 One evening, Dame Ortiz, having watched her opportunity of speak- 
 ing to me without observation, said, in a low voice, that if. 1 was 
 close and trustworthy, I had only to be in the garden at midnight, 
 when a scene would be laid open in which I should not be sorry to 
 be an actor. I answered the duenna, pressing her hand signifi- 
 cantly, that 1 would not fail, and we parted in a hurry for fear of 
 surprise. How the hours lagged from this moment till supper time, 
 though we supped very early! Then again, from supper to my 
 master's bed-time I It seemed as if the march of the whole family 
 was timed to a largo movement. By way of helping forward the 
 fidgets, when Don Vincent withdrew to his chamber, the army was 
 put on the war establishment, and we were obliged to fight the cam- 
 paigns in Portugal over again, though my ears had not recovered 
 from the din of the last cannonade. But a favor from which I had 
 hitherto made my escape was reserved for this eventful evening. 
 He repeated the army list from beginning to end, with copious 
 digressions on the exploits of those officers who had distinguished 
 themselves in his time. O, my poor tympanum ! It was almost 
 cracked before we got to the end. Time, however, will wear out 
 even an old man's story, and he went to bed. I immediately went
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 185 
 
 to my own little chamber, whence there was a way into the garden 
 by a private staircase. I depended on my purchase of perfumery 
 for overcoming the effluvia of the day's drudgery, and put on a 
 clean shirt highly" scented. When every invention had been pressed 
 into the service to render my person worthy of its destiny, and 
 cherish the fondness of my mistress, I went to the appointment. 
 
 Ortiz was not there. I concluded that, tired of waiting for me, 
 she had gone back to her chamber, and that the happy moment of 
 philandering was over. I laid all the blame on Don Vincent ; but 
 just as I was singing Te Deum backwards for his campaigns, I heard 
 the clock strike ten. To be sure it must be wrong ! It could not 
 be less than one o'clock. Yet I was so egregiously out in my reck- 
 oning, that full a quarter of an hour afterwards, I counted ten upon 
 my fingers by the clock at next door. " Vastly well," thought I to 
 myself, " I have only two complete hours to ventilate my passion 
 here al fresco. At least they shall not complain of me for want of 
 punctuality. What shall I do with myself till twelve? Suppose I 
 take a turn about tlys garden and settle our cues in the delicious 
 drama just going to be brought on the stage ; it is my first appear- 
 ance in so principal a character. I am not yet sufficiently well read 
 in the crotchets of your quality dames. I know how to tickle a girl 
 in a stuff gown, or an actress : you swagger up to them with an 
 easy, impudent assurance, and pop the question without making 
 any bones of it. But one must take a female of condition on a very 
 different tack. It seems to me that in this case the happy swain 
 must be well bred, attentive, tender, respectful, without degener- 
 ating into bashfulness. Instead of taking his happiness by storm, 
 he must plant his amorous desires in ambuscade, and wait till the 
 garrison is asleep, and the outworks defenceless." 
 
 Thus it was that I argued, and such were the preconcerted plans 
 of my campaign with Aurora. After a few tedious minutes, accord- 
 ing to my calculation, I was to experience the ecstasy of finding 
 myself at the feet of that lovely creature, and pouring forth a tor- 
 rent of impassioned nonsense. I scraped together in my memory 
 all the clap-traps in our stock-plays which were most successful 
 with the audience, and might best set off my pretensions to spirit 
 and gallantry. I trusted to my own adroitness for the application, 
 and hoped, after the example of some players in the list of my ac> 
 quaintance, bringing only a stock of memory into the trade, to deal 
 upon credit for my wit. While my imagination was engrossed by 
 these thoughts, which kept my impatience at bay much more suc- 
 cessfully than the commentaries of my modern Caesar, I heard the 
 clock strike eleven. This was some encouragement, and I fell back 
 to my meditations, sometimes sauntering carelessly about, and some-
 
 186 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 times throwing myself at my length on the turf, in a bower at the 
 bottom of the garden. At length it struck twelve, the long-expected 
 hour, big with my high destiny. Some seconds after, Ortiz, as 
 punctual as myself, though less impatient, made her appearance. 
 " Signer Gil Bias," said she accosting me, " how long have you been 
 here ?" " Two hours," answered I. " Indeed ! Truly," replied she, 
 laughing, "you are very exact; there is a pleasure in making noc- 
 turnal assignations with you. Yet you may assure yourself," con- 
 tinued she, more gravely, " that you cannot pay too dear for such 
 good fortune as that of which I am the messenger. My mistress 
 wants to have some private talk with you. I shall not anticipate 
 what may be the subject : that is a secret which you must learn from 
 no lips but her own. Follow me ; I will show you into her cham- 
 ber." With these words the duenna took me by the hand, and led 
 me mysteriously into her lady's apartment through a little door, of 
 which she had the key. 
 
 CHAPTEE II. 
 
 ATTRORA'S RECEPTION OF GIL BLAS. THEIR CONVERSATION. 
 
 I FOUND Aurora in an undress. I saluted her in the most re- 
 spectful manner, and threw as much elegance into my attitude 
 as I had to throw. She received me with the most winning affability, 
 made me sit down by her, against all my remonstrances, and told 
 her ambassador to go into another room. After this opening, which 
 seemed highly encouraging to my cause, she entered upon the busi- 
 ness. " Gil Bias," said she, " you must have perceived how favor- 
 ably I have regarded and distinguished you from all the rest of my 
 father's servants ; and, though my looks had not betrayed my partial 
 dispositions towards you, my proceeding of this night would leave 
 you no room to doubt them." 
 
 I did not give her time to say a word more. It struck me that, 
 as a man of feeling, I ought to spare her trembling diffidence the 
 cruel necessity of explaining her sentiments in more direct terms. 
 I rose from my chair in a transport, and, throwing myself at Aurora's 
 feet, like a tragedy hero of the Grecian stage, when he supplicates 
 the heroine "by her knees," exclaimed in a declamatory tone, "Ah! 
 madam, could it be possible that Gil Bias, hitherto the whirligig of 
 fortune, and football of embattled nature, should have called down
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 187 
 
 upon his head the exquisite felicity of inspiring sentiments." . . . 
 " Do not speak so loud," interrupted my mistress with a laugh of 
 mingled apprehension and ridicule, " you will wake my women who 
 sleep in the adjoining chamber. Get up, take your seat, and hear 
 me out without putting in a word. Yes, Gil Bias," pursued she, 
 resuming her gravity, " you have my best wishes ; and to show you 
 how deep you are in my good graces, I will confide to you a secret 
 on which depends the repose of my life. I am in love with a young 
 gentleman, possessing every charm of person and face, and noble by 
 birth. His name is Don Lewis Pacheco. I have seen him occa- 
 sionally in the public walks and at the theatre, but I have never 
 conversed with him. I do not even know what his private character 
 may be, or what bad qualities he may have. It is on this subject 
 that I wish to be informed. I stand in need of a person to inquire 
 diligently into his morals, and give me a true and particular account. 
 I make choice of you. Surely I run no risk in entrusting you with 
 this commission. I hope that you will acquit youcself with dex- 
 terity and prudence, and that I shall never repent of giving you 
 my confidence." . 
 
 My mistress concluded thus, and waited for my answer to her 
 proposal. I had been disconcerted in the first instance at so dis- 
 agreeable a mistake ; but I soon recovered my scattered senses, and 
 surmounting the confusion which rashness always occasions when it 
 is unlucky, I exposed to sale such a cargo of zeal for the lady's 
 interests, I devoted myself with so martyr-like an enthusiasm to her 
 service, that if she did not absolutely forget my silly vanity in the 
 thought of having pleased her, at least she had reason to believe 
 that I knew how to make amends for a piece of folly. I asked only 
 two days to bring her a satisfactory account of Don Lewis. After 
 this, Dame Ortiz, answering the bell, showed me the way back into 
 the garden, and said, on taking leave, " Good-night, Gil Bias. I 
 need not caution you to be in time at the next appointment. I 
 have sufficient experience of your punctuality on these occasions." 
 
 I returned to my chamber, not without some little mortification 
 at finding my voluptuous anticipations all divested of even their 
 ideal sweetness. I was nevertheless sufficiently in my senses to 
 reflect soberly that it was more in my element to be the trusty scout 
 of my mistress than her lover I even thought that this adventure 
 might lead to something further ; that the middle men in the trade 
 of love usually pocket a tolerable per centage ; and went to bed with 
 the resolution of doing whatever Aurora required of me. For this 
 purpose I went abroad the next morning. The residence of so dis- 
 tinguished a personage as Don Lewis was not difficult to find out. 
 I made my inquiries about him in the neighborhood, but the people
 
 188 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 who came in my way could not satisfy my curiosity to the full, so 
 that it was necessary to resume my search diligently on the follow- 
 ing day. I was in better luck. I met a lad of my acquaintance by 
 chance in the street ; we stopped for a little gossip. There passed by 
 in the very nick one of his friends, who came up and told him that 
 he was just turned away from the family of Don Joseph Pacheco, 
 Don Lewis's father, about a paltry remnant of wine, which he had 
 been accused of drinking. I would not lose so fair an occasion of 
 learning all I wanted to know, and plied my questions so success- 
 fully as to go home with much self-complacency at my punctual 
 performance of my engagements with my mistress. It was on the 
 coming night that I was to see her again at the same hour, and in 
 the same manner as the first time. I was not in such a confounded 
 hurry this evening. Far from writhing with impatience under the 
 prolixity of my old commander, I led him on to the charge. I 
 waited for midnight with the greatest indifference in the world, and 
 it was not till all the clocks within ear-shot had struck that I crept 
 down into the garden, without any nonsense of pomatum and per- 
 fumery. That foppery was completely cured. 
 
 At the place of meeting I found the very faithful duenna, who 
 sneeringly reproached me with a defalcation in my zeal. I made 
 her no answer, but suffered myself to be conducted into Aurora's 
 chamber. She asked me, as soon as I made my appearance, whether 
 I had gained any intelligence of Don Lewis. " Yes, madam," said 
 I, " and you shall have the sum total in two words. I must first 
 tell you, that he will soon set out for Salamanca, to finish his 
 studies. The young gentleman is brimful of honor and probity. 
 As for the valor, he cannot be deficient there, since he is a man of 
 birth and a Castilian. Besides this, he has an infinite deal of wit, 
 and is very agreeable in his manners ; but there is one thing which 
 can scarcely be to your liking. He is pretty much in the fashion 
 of our young nobility here at court exemplarily catholic in his de- 
 votions to the fair. Have you not heard that at his age he has 
 already been tenant-at-will to two actresses ?" " What is it you 
 tell me?" replied Aurora. "What shocking conduct! But do you 
 know for certain, Gil Bias, that he leads so dissolute a life ?" " O ! 
 there is no doubt of it, madam," rejoined I. "A servant, turned 
 off this morning, told me so, and servants are very plain dealers 
 when the failings of their masters are the topic. Besides, he keeps 
 company with Don Alexo Segiar, Don Antonio Centclles, and Don 
 Fernando de Gamboa ; that single circumstance proves his liber- 
 tinism with all the force of demonstration." " It is enough, Gil 
 Bias," said my mistress with a sigh ; " on your report I am deter- 
 mined to struggle with my unworthy passion. Though it has
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 189 
 
 already struck deep root in my heart, I do not despair of tearing 
 it forcibly from its bed. Go," added she, putting into my hands a 
 small purse, none of the lightest, " take this for your pains. Be- 
 ware of betraying my secret. Consider it as entrusted to your 
 silence." 
 
 I assured my mistress that she might be perfectly easy on that 
 score, for I was the Harpocrates of confidential servants. After 
 this compliment to myself,.! withdrew with no small eagerness to 
 investigate the contents of the purse. There were twenty pistoles. 
 It struck me all at once that Aurora would surely have given me 
 more had I been the bearer of pleasant tidings, since she paid so 
 handsomely for a blank in the lottery. I was sorry not to have 
 adopted the policy of the pleaders in the courts, who sometimes 
 paint the cheek of truth when her natural complexion is inclined 
 to be cadaverous. It was a pity to have stifled an amour in the 
 birth which might in its growth have been so profitable. Yet I had 
 the comfort of finding myself reimbursed the expense so unseason- 
 ably incurred in perfumery and washes. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 A GREAT CHANGE AT DON VINCENT'S. AURORA'S STRANGE RESO- 
 LUTION. 
 
 IT happened soon after this adventure that Signor Don Vincent 
 fell sick. Independent of his very advanced age, the symptoms 
 of his disorder appeared in so formidable a shape that a fatal termi- 
 nation was but too probable. From the beginning of his illness he 
 was attended by two of the most eminent physicians in Madrid. 
 One was Doctor Andros, and the other Doctor Oquetos. They con- 
 sidered the case with due solemnity ; and both agreed, after a strict 
 investigation, that the humors were in a state of mutiny, but this 
 was the only thing about which they did agree. The proper prac- 
 tice, said Andros, is to purge the humors, though raw, with all 
 possible expedition, while they are in a violent agitation of flux 
 and reflux, for fear of their fixing upon some noble part. Oquetos 
 maintained, on the contrary, that we must wait till the humors were 
 ripened before it would be safe to go upon purgatives. " But your 
 method," replied the first speaker, " is directly in the teeth of the 
 rules laid down by the prince of medicine. Hippocrates recom-
 
 190 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 mends purging in the most burning fever from the very first attack, 
 and says in plain terms that no time is to be lost in purging when 
 the humors are in opyaafios, that is to say, in a state of fermenta- 
 tion." "Ay! there is your mistake," replied Oquetos. "Hippo- 
 crates by the word opyac/wf does not mean the fermentation, he 
 means rather the concoction of the humors." 
 
 Thereupon our doctors got heated. One quotes the Greek text, 
 and cites all the authors who have explained it in his sense ; the 
 other, trusting to a Latin translation, takes up the controversy in a 
 still more positive tone. Which of the two to believe? Don Vin- 
 cent was not the man to decide that question. In the meantime, 
 finding himself obliged to choose, he gave his confidence to the 
 party who had despatched the greatest number of patients I mean 
 the elder of the two. Andros, the younger, immediately withdrew, 
 not without flinging out a few satirical taunts at his senior on the 
 opyaaftof. Here, then, was Oquetos triumphant. As he was a pro- 
 fessor of the Sangrado school, he began by bleeding copiously, 
 waiting till the humors were ripened before he went upon purga- 
 tives. But death, fearing, no doubt, lest this reserve of purgatives 
 should turn the fortunes of the day, got the start of the concoction, 
 and secured his victory over my master by a coup de main. Such 
 was the final close of Signor Don Vincent, who lost his life because 
 his physician did not know Greek. 
 
 Aurora, having buried her father with a pomp suited to the dig- 
 nity of his birth, administered to his effects. Having the whole ar- 
 rangement of everything in her own breast, she discharged some of 
 the servants with rewards proportioned to their services, and soon 
 retired to her castle on the Tagus, between Sacedon and Buendia. 
 I was among the number of those whom she kept, and who made 
 part of her country establishment. I had even the good fortune to 
 become a principal agent in the plot. In spite of my faithful report 
 on the subject of Don Lewis, she still harbored a partiality for that 
 bewitching young fellow; or rather, for want of spirit to combat her 
 passion in the first instance, she surrendered at discretion. There 
 was no longer any need of taking precautions to speak with me in 
 private. " Gil Bias," said she with a sigh, " I can never forget Don 
 Lewis. Let me make what effort I will to banish him from my 
 thoughts, he is present to them without intermission, not as you 
 have described him, plunged in every variety of licentious riot, but 
 just what my fancy would paint him, tender, loving, constant." 
 She betrayed considerable emotion in uttering these words, and 
 could not help shedding tears. My fountains were very near play- 
 ing from mere sympathy. There was no better way of paying my 
 court than by appearing sensibly touched at her distress. "My
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 191 
 
 friend," continued she, after having wiped her loving eyes, " your 
 nature is evidently cast in a benevolent mould ; and I am so well 
 satisfied with your zeal that it shall not go unrewarded. Your assist- 
 ance, my dear Gil Bias, is more necessary to me than ever. You 
 must be made acquainted with a plan which engrosses all my 
 thoughts, though it will appear strangely eccentric. You are to 
 know that I mean to set out for Salamanca as soon as possible. 
 There, my design is to assume the disguise of a fashionable young 
 fellow, and to make acquaintance with Pacheco under the name of 
 Don Felix. I shall endeavor to gain his confidence and friendship, 
 and lead the conversation incidentally to the subject of Aurora de 
 Guzman, for whose cousin I shall pass. He may perhaps express a 
 wish to see her, and there is the point on which I expect the interest 
 to turn. We will have two apartments in Salamanca. In one I 
 shall be Don Felix, in the other, Aurora ; and I flatter myself that 
 by presenting my person before Don Lewis, sometimes 'under 
 the semblance of a man, sometimes in all the natural and artificial 
 attractions of my own sex, I may bring him by little and little to 
 the proposed end of my stratagem. I am perfectly aware that my 
 project is extravagant in the highest degree, but my passion drives 
 me headlong ; and the innocence of my intentions renders me insen- 
 sible to all compunctious feelings of virgin apprehension respecting 
 so hazardous a step." 
 
 I was exactly in the same mind with Aurora respecting the ex- 
 travagance of her scheme. Yet, unreasonable as it might seem to 
 reflecting persons like myself, there was no occasion for me to play 
 the schoolmaster. On the contrary, I began to practice all the arts 
 of a thorough-bred special pleader, and undertook to magnify this 
 hair-brained pursuit into a piece of incomparable wit and spirit, 
 without the least tincture of imprudence. This was highly gratify- 
 ing to my mistress. Lovers like to have their rampant fancies 
 tickled. We no longer considered this rash enterprise in any other 
 light than as a play, of which the characters were to be properly 
 cast, and the business dramatically arranged. The actors were 
 chosen out of our own domestic establishment, and the parts dis- 
 tributed without secret jealousy or open rupture, but then we were 
 not players by profession. It was determined that Dame Ortiz should 
 personate Aurora's aunt under the name of Donna Kimena de Guz- 
 man, with a valet and waiting-maid by way of attendance ; and that 
 Aurora, with the swashing outside of a gay spark, was to take me 
 for her valet-de-chambre, with one of her women disguised as a 
 page, to be more immediately about her person. The drama thus 
 filled up, we returned to Madrid, where we understood Don Lewis 
 still to be, though it was not likely to be long till his departure for
 
 192 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 Salamanca. We got up with all possible haste the dresses and de- 
 corations of our wild comedy. When they were in complete order, 
 my mistress had them packed up carefully, that they might come 
 out in all their gloss and newness on the rising of the curtain. 
 Then, leaving the care of her family to her steward, she began her 
 journey in a coach drawn by four mules, and travelled towards the 
 kingdom of Leon with those of her household who had some part to 
 play in the piece. 
 
 We had already crossed Old Castile, when the axletree of the 
 coach gave way. The accident happened between Avila and Villa- 
 flor, at the distance of three or four hundred yards from a castle 
 near the foot of a mountain. Night was coming on, and the measure 
 of our troubles seemed to be heaped up and overflowing. But there 
 passed accidentally by us a countryman, by whose assistance we were 
 relieved from our difficulties. He acquainted us that the castle yon- 
 der belonged to Donna Elvira, widow of Don Pedro de Penares ; at 
 the same time giving so favorable a character of that lady, that my 
 mistress sent me to the castle with a request of a night's lodging. 
 Elvira did not disgrace the good word of the countryman. She re- 
 ceived me with an air of hospitality, and returned such an answer to 
 my compliment as I wished to carry back. We all went to the 
 castle, whither the mules dragged the carriage with considerable 
 difficulty. At the gate we met the widow of Don Pedro, who came 
 out to meet my mistress. I shall pass over in silence the reciprocal 
 civilities which were exchanged on this occasion, in compliance 
 with the usage of the polite world. I shall only say th#t Elvira was 
 a lady rather advanced in years, but remarkably well-bred, with an 
 address superior to that of most women in doing the honors of her 
 house. She led Aurora into a sumptuous apartment, where, leaving 
 her to rest herself for a short time, she looked after everything her- 
 self, and left nothing undone which could in the least contribute to 
 our comfort. Afterwards, when supper was ready, she ordered it to 
 be served up in Aurora's chamber, where they sat down to table 
 together. Don Pedro's widow was not of a description to cast a slur 
 on her own hospitalities, by assuming an air of abstraction or sullen- 
 ness. Her temper was gay, and her conversation lively without 
 levity; for her ideas were dignified, and her expressions select. 
 Nothing could exceed her wit, accompanied by a peculiarly fine turn 
 of thought. Aurora appeared as much to be delighted as myself. 
 They became sworn friends, and mutually engaged in a regular cor- 
 respondence. As our carriage could not be repaired till the follow- 
 ing day, and we should have encountered some perils by setting out 
 late at night, it was determined that we should take up our abode 
 at the castle till the damage was made good. All the arrangements
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 193 
 
 were in the first style of elegance, and our lodgings were corres- 
 pondent to the magnificence of the establishment in other respects. 
 
 The day after, my mistress discovered new charms in Elvira's 
 conversation. They dined in a large hall, where there were several 
 pictures. One among the rest was distinguished for its admirable 
 execution, but the subject was highly tragic. A principal figure 
 was a man of superior mien, lying lifeless on his back, and bathed 
 in his own blood ; yet in the very embraces of death he wore a 
 menacing aspect. At a little distance from him you might see a 
 young lady in different posture, though stretched likewise on the 
 ground. She had a sword plunged in her bosom, and was giving 
 up her last sighs, at the same time casting her dying glances at a 
 young mart who seemed to suffer a mortal pang at losing her. The 
 painter had besides charged his picture with a figure which did not 
 escape my notice. It was an old man of a venerable physiognomy, 
 sensibly touched with the objects which struck his sight, and equally 
 alive with the young man to the impressions of the melancholy 
 scene. It might be said that these images of blood and desolation 
 affected both the spectators with the same astonishment and grief, 
 but that the outward demonstrations of their inward sentiments 
 were different. The old man, sunk in a profound melancholy, 
 looked as if he was bowed down to the ground ; while the youth 
 mingled something like the extravagance of despair with the tears 
 of affliction. All these circumstances were depicted with touches 
 so characteristic and affecting, that we could not take our eyes off 
 the performance. My mistress desired to know the subject of the 
 piece. "Madam," said Elvira, "it is a faithful delineation of the 
 misfortunes sustained by my family." This answer excited Aurora's 
 curiosity, and she testified so strong a desire to learn the particulars, 
 that the widow of Don Pedro could do no otherwise than promise 
 her the satisfaction she desired. This promise, made before Ortiz, 
 her two fellow-servants, and myself, rooted us to the spot on which 
 we were listening to their former conversation. My mistress would 
 have sent us away ; but Elvira, who saw plainly that we were dying 
 with eagerness to be present at the explanation of the picture, had 
 the goodness to desire us to stay, alleging at the same time that the 
 story she had to relate was not of a nature to enjoin secrecy. 
 After a moment's reflection, she began her recital to the following 
 effect. 
 
 13
 
 194 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 THE FATAL MARKIAGE! A NOVEL. 
 
 " ~I~) OGER, king of Sicily, had a brother and sister. His brother, 
 _L\ by name Mainfroi, rebelled against him, and kindled a war 
 in the kingdom, bloody in its immediate effects, and portentous in 
 its future consequences. But it was his fate to lose two battles, and 
 to fall into the king's hands. The punishment of his revolt ex- 
 tended no farther than the loss of liberty. This act of clemency 
 served only to make Roger pass for a barbarian in the estimation of 
 the disaffected party among his subjects. They contended that he 
 had saved his brother's life only to wreak his vengeance on him by 
 tortures the more merciless because protracted. People in general, 
 on better grounds, transferred the blame of Mainfroi's harsh treat- 
 ment while in prison to his sister Matilda. That princess had, in 
 fact, cherished a long-rooted hatred against this prince, and was 
 indefatigable in her persecutions during his whole life. She died 
 in a very short time after him, and her premature fate was consid- 
 ered as the retribution of a just providence, for her disregard of 
 those sentiments implanted by nature for the best purposes. 
 
 "Mainfroi left behind him two sons. They were yet in their 
 childhood. Roger had a kind of lurking desire to get rid of them, 
 under the apprehension lest, when arrived at a more advanced age, 
 the wish of avenging their father might hurry them to the revival 
 of a faction which was not so entirely overthrown as to be incapa- 
 ble of originating new intrigues in the state. He communicated 
 his purpose to the senator Leontio Siffredi, his minister, who di- 
 verted him from his bloody thoughts by undertaking the education 
 of Prince Enriquex, the eldest, and recommending the care of the 
 younger, by name Don Pedro, to the constable of Sicily, as a trusty 
 counsellor and loyal servant, Roger, assured that his nephews 
 would be trained up by these two men in principles of .due submis- 
 sion to the royal authority, gave up the reins of guardianship to 
 their control, and himself took charge of his nieoe Constance. She 
 was of the same age with Enriquez, and only daughter of the 
 princess Matilda. He allowed her an establishment of female 
 attendants, and of masters in every branch of the politer studies, 
 so that nothing was wanting, either to her instruction or her state. 
 " Leontio Siffredi had a castle at the distance of less than two 
 leagues from Palermo, in a spot named Belmonte. There it was 
 that this minister exerted all his talents and diligence to render 
 Enriquez worthy of one day ascending the throne of Sicily. From
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 195 
 
 the first, he discovered dispositions so amiable in that prince, that 
 his attachment became as strong as if he had no child of his own. 
 He had, however, two daughters. Blanche, the first-born, one year 
 younger than the prince, was armed at all points with the weapons 
 of a most perfect beauty. Her sister Portia was still in her cradle. 
 The mother had died in child-bed of this youngest. Blanche and 
 Prince Enriquez conceived a reciprocal affection as soon as they 
 were 1 alive to the influence of love ; but they were not allowed to 
 improve their acquaintance into familiar intercourse. The prince, 
 nevertheless, found the means of occasionally eluding the prudential 
 vigilance of his guardian. He knew sufficiently well how to avail 
 himself of those precious moments, and prevailed so far with Siff- 
 redi's daughter, as to gain her consent to the execution of a project 
 which he meditated. It happened precisely at this time that 
 Leontio was obliged by the king's order to take a journey into one 
 of the most remote provinces in the island. During his absence, 
 Enriquez got an opening made in the wall of his apartment, which 
 led into Blanche's chamber. This opening was concealed by a 
 sliding shutter, so exactly corresponding with the wainscot, and so 
 closely fitting in with the ceiling and the floor, that the most suspi- 
 cious eye could not have detected the contrivance. A skillful work- 
 man, whom the prince had gained over to his interests, helped him 
 to this private communication with equal speed and secrecy. 
 
 "The enamored Enriquez having obtained this inlet into his 
 mistress's chamber, sometimes availed himself of his privilege ; but 
 he never took advantage of her partiality. Imprudent as it may 
 well be thought, to admit of a secret entrance into her apartment, it 
 was only on the express and reiterated assurance that none but the 
 most innocent favors should be requested at her hands. One night 
 he found her in a state of unusual perturbation. She had been in- 
 formed that Roger was drawing near his end, and had sent for 
 Siffredi as lord high chancellor of the kingdom, and the legal de- 
 positary of his last will and testament. Already did she figure to 
 herself her dear Enriquez elevated to royal honors. She was afraid 
 of losing her lover in her sovereign, and that fear had strangely 
 affected her spirits. The tears were standing in her eyes, when 
 the unconscious cause of them appeared before her. ' You weep, 
 madam,' said he; 'what am I to think of this overwhelming grief?' 
 ' My lord,' answered Blanche, ' it were vain for me to hide my ap- 
 prehensions. The king, your uncle, is at the point of death, and 
 you will soon be called to supply his place. When I measure the 
 distance placed between us by your approaching greatness, I will 
 own to you that my mind misgives me. The monarch and the lover 
 estimate objects through a far different medium. What constituted
 
 196 ADVENTURES OF GIL $LAS. 
 
 the fondest wish of the individual, while his aspiring thoughts were 
 checked by the control of a superior, fades into insignificance before 
 the tumultuous cares or brilliant destinies of royalty. Be it the 
 misgiving of an anxious heart, or the whisper of a well-founded 
 opinion, I feel distracting emotions succeed one another in my 
 breast, which not all my just confidence in your goodness can allay. 
 The source of my mistrust is not in the suspected steadiness of your 
 attachment, but in a diffidence of my own happy fate.' ' Lovely 
 and beloved Blanche,' replied the prince, ' your fears but bind me 
 the more firmly in your fetters, and warrant my devotion to your 
 charms. Yet this excessive indulgence of a fond jealousy borders 
 on disloyalty to love, and, if I may venture to say so, trenches on 
 the esteem to which my constancy has hitherto entitled me. No, 
 no, never entertain a doubt that my destiny can ever be sundered 
 from yoilrs, but rather indulge the pleasing anticipation, that you, 
 and you alone, will be the arbitress of my fate, and the source of 
 all my bliss. Away then with these vain alarms. Why must they 
 disturb an intercourse so charming?' 'Ah! my lord,' rejoined the 
 daughter of Leontio, 'your subjects, when they place the crown 
 upon your head, may ask of you a princess-queen, descended from 
 a long line of kings, whose glittering alliance shall join new realms 
 to your hereditary estates. Perhaps, alas I you will meet their am- 
 bitious aims, even at the expense of your softest vows.' ' Nay, why,' 
 resumed Enriquez, with rising passion, ' why, too ready a self-tor- 
 mentor, do you raise up so afflicting a phantom of futurity ? Should 
 heaven take the king, my uncle, to itself, and place Sicily under my 
 dominion, I swear to unite myself to you at Palermo, in presence of 
 my whole court. To this I call to witness all which is held sacred 
 and inviolable among men.' 
 
 "The protestations of Enriquez removed the fears of Siffredi's 
 daughter. The rest of their discourse turned on the king's illness. 
 Enriquez displayed the goodness of his natural disposition, for he 
 pitied his uncle's lot, though he had no reason to be greatly affected 
 by it ; but the force of blood extorted from him sentiments of regret 
 for a prince whose death held out an immediate prospect of the 
 crown. Blanche did not yet know all the misfortunes which hung 
 over her. The constable of Sicily, who had met her coming out of 
 her father's apartment one day when he was at the castle of Belmonte 
 on some business of importance, was struck with admiration. The 
 very next day, he made proposals to Siffredi, who entertained his 
 offer favorably ; but the illness of Koger taking place unexpectedly 
 about that time, the marriage was put off for the present, and the 
 subject had not been hinted at in the most distant manner to 
 Blanche.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 197 
 
 "One morning, as Enriquez had just finished dressing, he was 
 surprised to see Leontio enter his apartment, followed by Blanche. 
 'Sir,' said this minister, ' the news I have to announce will in some 
 degree afflict your excellent heart, but it is counteracted by consol- 
 ing circumstances which ought to moderate your grief. The king, 
 your uncle, has departed this life, and by his death, left you the 
 heir of his sceptre. Sicily is at your feet. The nobility of the 
 kingdom' wait your orders at Palermo. They have commissioned 
 me to receive them in person, and I come, my liege, with my daugh- 
 ter, to pay you the earliest and sincerest homage of your new sub- 
 jects.' The prince, who was well aware that Eoger had been for 
 two months sinking under a complaint gradual in its progress, but 
 fatal in its nature, was not astonished at this news. And yet, struck 
 with his sudden exaltation, he felt a thousand confused emotions 
 rising up by turns in his heart. He mused for some time, then 
 breaking silence, addressed these words to Leontio: ' Wise Siffredi, 
 I have always considered you as my father. I shall make it my 
 glory to be governed by your counsels, and you shall reign in Sicily 
 with a sway paramount to my own.' With these words, advancing 
 to the standish and taking a blank sheet of paper, he wrote his 
 name at the bottom. 'What are you doing, sir?' said Siffredi. 
 ' Proving my gratitude and my esteem,' answered Enriquez. Then 
 the prince presented the paper to Blanche, and said : 'Accept, 
 madam, this pledge of my faith, and of the empire with which I 
 invest you over my thoughts and actions.' Blanche received it with 
 a blush, and made this answer to the prince : ' J acknowledge, with 
 all humility, the condescensions of my sovereign, but my destiny is 
 in the hands of a father, and you must not consider me as ungrate- 
 ful if I deposit this flattering token in his custody, to be used ac- 
 cording to the dictates of his sage discretion.' 
 
 " In compliance with these sentiments of filial duty, she gave the 
 sign manual of Enriquez to her father. Then Siffredi saw at once 
 what, till that moment, had eluded his penetration. He entered 
 clearly into the prince's sentiments, and said : ' Your majesty shall 
 have no reproaches to make me. I shall not act unworthily of the 
 confidence.' . . . 'My dear Leontio,' interrupted Enriquez, 'you 
 and unworthiness never can be allied. Make what use you please 
 of my signature. I shall confirm your determination. But go, 
 return to Palermo, prescribe the ceremonies for my coronation there, 
 and tell my subjects that I shall follow you in person immediately, 
 to receive their oaths of allegiance, and assure them of my protec- 
 tion in return.' The minister obeyed the commands of his new 
 master, and set out for Palermo with his daughter. 
 
 " Some hours after their departure, the prince also left Belmonte,
 
 198 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 with his thoughts more intent on his passion, than on the high rank 
 to which he was called. Immediately on his arrival in the city, 
 the air was rent with a thousand cries of joy. He made his entry 
 into the palace amid the acclamations of the people, and everything 
 was ready for the august formalities. The Princess Constance was 
 waiting to receive him, in a magnificent mourning dress. She ap- 
 peared deeply affected by Roger's death. The customs of society 
 required from them a reciprocal compliment of condolence on the 
 late event, and they each of them acquitted themselves with good 
 breeding and propriety. But there was somewhat more coldness on 
 the part of Enriquez than on that of Constance, who could not enter 
 into family quarrels, and resolved on hating the young prince. He 
 placed himself on the throne, and the princess sat beside him in a 
 chair of state a little less elevated. The great officers of the realm 
 fell into their places, each according to his rank. The ceremony 
 began ; and Leontio, as lord high chancellor of the kingdom, hold- 
 ing in his possession the will of the late king, opened it, and read 
 the contents aloud. This instrument contained in substance that 
 Roger, in default of issue, nominated the eldest son of Mainfroi his 
 successor, on condition of his marrying the Princess Constance; and 
 in the event of his refusing her hand, the crown of Sicily was to 
 devolve, to his exclusion, on the head of the infant Don Pedro, his 
 brother, on the like condition. 
 
 "These words were a thunderstroke to Enriquez. His senses 
 were all bewildered even to distraction, and his agonies became 
 still more acute when Leontio, having finished the reading of the 
 will, addressed the assembly at large to the following effect : ' My 
 lords, the last injunction of the late king having been made known 
 to our new monarch, that pious and excellent prince consents to 
 honor his cousin, the Princess Constance, with his hand.' At these 
 words Enriquez interrupted the chancellor. 'Leontio,' said he, 
 ' remember the writing ; Blanche.' . . . ' Sire,' interrupted Siffredi 
 in his turn with precipitation, 'lest the prince should find an oppor- 
 tunity of making himself understood, here it is. The nobility of 
 the kingdom,' added he, exhibiting the blank paper to the assem- 
 bly, ' will see by your majesty's august subscription, the esteem in 
 which you hold the princess, and your implicit deference to the last 
 will of the late king your uncle.' 
 
 " Having finished these words, he forthwith began reading the 
 instrument in such terms as he had himself inserted. According to 
 the contente, the new king gave a promise to his people, with for- 
 malities the most binding and authentic, that he would marry Con- 
 stance, in conformity with the intention of Roger. The hall 
 reechoed with pealing shouts of satisfaction. ' Long live our high
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL RLAS. 199 
 
 and mighty King Enriquez I' exclaimed all those who were present. 
 As the marked aversion of the prince for the princess had never 
 been any secret, it was apprehended, not without reason, that he 
 might revolt against the condition of the will, and light up the 
 flame of civil discord in the kingdom ; but the public enunciation 
 of this solemn act, quieting the fears of the nobility and the people 
 on that head, excited these universal applauses, which went to the 
 monarch's heart like the stab of an assassin. Constance, who had 
 a nearer interest than any human being in the result, from the 
 double motive of glory and personal affection, laid hold of this op- 
 portunity for expressing her gratitude. The prince had much ado 
 to keep his feelings within bounds. He received the compliment of 
 the princess with so constrained an air, and evinced so unusual a 
 disorder in his behavior, as scarcely to reply in a manner suited to 
 the common forms of good breeding. At last, no longer master of 
 his violent passions, he went up to Siffredi, whom the formalities of 
 his office detained near the royal person, and said to him in a low 
 tone of voice, ' What is the meaning of all this, Leontio ? The sig- 
 nature which I deposited in your daughter's hands was not meant 
 for such a use as this. You are guilty of.' . . . 
 
 " ' My liege,' interrupted Siffredi again with a tone of firmness, 
 ' look to your own glory. If you refuse to comply with the injunc- 
 tions of the king your uncle, you lose the crown of Sicily.' No sooner 
 had he thrown in this salutary hint, than he got away from the king, 
 to prevent all possibility of a reply. Enriquez was left in a most 
 embarrassing situation. A thousand opposite emotions agitated him 
 at once. He was exasperated against Siffredi. To give up Blanche 
 was more than he could endure : so that, balancing his private feel- 
 ings and the calls of public honor, he was doubtful to which side he 
 should incline. At length his doubts were resolved, under the idea 
 of having found the means to secure Siffredi's daughter, without 
 giving up his claim to the throne. He affected, therefore, an entire 
 submission to the will of Roger, in the hope, while a dispensation 
 from his marriage with his cousin was soliciting at Rome, of gaining 
 the leading nobility by his largesses, and thus establishing his power 
 so firmly, as not to be under the necessity of fulfilling the conditions 
 of the obnoxious instrument. 
 
 " After forming this design, he got to be more composed ; and 
 turning towards Constance, confirmed to her what the lord high 
 chancellor had read in presence of the whole assembly. But at the 
 very moment when he had so far betrayed himself as to pledge his 
 faith, Blanche arrived in the hall of council. She came thither, by 
 her father's command, to pay her duty to the princess ; and her ears, 
 on entering, were startled at the expressions of Enriquez. In ad-
 
 200 'ADVENTl'llES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 dition to this shock, Leontio, determined not to leave her in doubt 
 of her misfortune, accompanied her presentation to Constance with 
 these words : ' Daughter, make your homage acceptable to your 
 queen ; call down upon her the blessings of a prosperous reign and a 
 happy marriage.' This terrible blow overwhelmed the unfortunate 
 Blanche. Vain were all her attempts to suppress her anguish ; her 
 countenance changed successively from the deepest blush to a deadly 
 paleness, and she trembled from head to foot. And yet the princess 
 had no suspicion how the matter really stood ; but attributed the 
 confused style of her compliment to the awkwardness of a young 
 person brought up in a state of rustication, and totally unacquainted 
 with the manners of a court. But the young king was more in the 
 secret. The sight of Blanche put him out of countenance ; and the 
 despair, too legible in her eyes, was enough to drive him out of his 
 senses. Her feelings were not to be misunderstood ; and they pointed 
 at him as the most faithless of men. Could he have spoken to her, 
 it might have tranquillized his agitation : but how to lay hold of the 
 happy moment, when all Sicily, at least the illustrious part of it, was 
 fixed in anxious expectation on his proceedings ? Besides, the stern 
 and inflexible Siffredi extinguished at once every ray of hope. This 
 minister, who was at no loss to decipher the hearts of the two lovers, 
 and was firmly resolved, if possible, to prevent the evil consequences 
 impending over the state from the violence of this imprudent at- 
 tachment, got his daughter out of the assembly with the dexterity of 
 a practised courtier, and regained the road to Belmonte with her in 
 his possession, determined, for more reasons than one, to marry her 
 as soon as possible. 
 
 " When they reached home, he gave her to understand all the 
 horror of her destiny, by announcing his promise to the constable. 
 ' Just Heaven !' exclaimed she, transported into a paroxysm of de- 
 spair, which her father's presence could not restrain; 'what unparal- 
 leled suffering have you the cruelty to lay up in store for the ill-fated 
 Blanche?' Her agony went to such a degree of violence, as to sus- 
 pend every power of her soul. Her limbs seemed as if stiffened 
 under the icy grasp of death. Cold and pale, she fell senseless into 
 her father's arms. Neither was he insensible to her melancholy con- 
 dition. Yet, feeling as he did all the alarm and anxiety of a parent, 
 the stern inflexibility of the statesman remained unshaken. Blanche, 
 after a time, was recalled to life and feeling, rather by the keenness 
 of her mental pangs than hy the means which Siffredi used for her 
 recovery. Languishingly did she raise her scarcely conscious eyes : 
 when, glancing on the author of her misery, as he was anxiously 
 employed about her person: 'My lord,' said she, with inarticulate 
 and convulsive accents, ' I am ashamed to let you see my weakness :
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS. 201 
 
 but death, which cannot be long in finishing my torments, will soon 
 rid you of a wretched daughter, who has ventured to dispose of her 
 heart without consulting you.' ' No, my dear Blanche,' answered 
 Leontio, ' your death would be too dear a sacrifice : Virtue will re- 
 sume her empire over your actions. The constable's proposals do 
 you honor ; it is one of the most considerable alliances in the state.' 
 .... 'I esteem his person and am sensible of his merit,' inter- 
 rupted Blanche ; ' but, my lord, the king had given me encourage- 
 ment to indulge.' . . . ' Daughter,' vociferated Siffredi, breaking in 
 upon her discourse, ' I anticipated all you have to say on that sub- 
 ject. Your partiality for the prince is no secret to me, nor would it 
 meet my disapprobation under other circumstances. You should 
 even see me active and ardent to secure for you the hand of Enri- 
 quez, if the cause of glory and the welfare of the realm demanded it 
 not indispensably for Constance. It is on the sole condition of 
 marrying that princess, that the late king has nominated him his 
 successor. Would you have him prefer you to the crown of Sicily? 
 Believe me, my heart bleeds at the mortal blow which impends over 
 you. Yet, since we cannot contend with the fates, make a magnani- 
 mous effort. Your fame is concerned, not to let the whole nation 
 see that you have nursed up a delusive hope. Your sensibility 
 towards the person of the king might even give birth to ignominious 
 rumors. The only method of preserving yourself from their poison 
 is to marry the constable. In short, Blanche, there is no time left 
 for irresolution. The king has decided between a throne and the 
 possession of your charms. He has fixed his choice on Constance. 
 The constable holds my word in pledge : enable me to redeem it, I 
 beseech you. Or, if nothing but a paramount necessity can fix your 
 wavering resolution, I must make an unwilling use of my parental 
 authority ; know then, I command you.' 
 
 " Ending with this threat, he left her to make her own reflections 
 on what had passed. He was in hopes that after having weighed 
 the reasons he had urged to support her virtue against the bias of 
 her feelings, she would determine of herself to admit the constable's 
 addresses. He was not mistaken in his conjecture : but at what an 
 expense did the wretched Blanche rise to this height of virtuous 
 resolution ! Her condition was that in the whole world the most 
 deserving of pity. The affliction of finding her fears realized, respect- 
 ing the infidelity of Enriquez, and of being compelled, besides losing 
 the man of her choice, to sacrifice herself to another whom she could 
 never love, occasioned her such storms of passion and alternate toss- 
 ings of frantic desperation, as to bring with each successive moment 
 a variety of vindictive torture. ' If my sad fate is fixed,' exclaimed 
 she, ' how can I triumph over it but by death ? Merciless powers,
 
 202 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 who preside over our wayward fortunes, why feed and tantalize me 
 with the most flattering hopes, only to plunge me headlong into a 
 gulf of miseries? And thou too, perfidious lover! to rush into the 
 arms of another, when all those vows of eternal fidelity were mine. 
 So soon then is that plighted faith void and forgotten ? To punish 
 thee for so cruel a deception, may it please Heaven in its retribution 
 to make the conscious couch of conjugal endearment, polluted as it 
 must be by perjury, less the scene of pleasure than the dungeon of re- 
 morse 1 May the fond caresses of Constance distill poison through 
 thy faithless heart! Let us rival one another in the horrors of our 
 nuptials ! Yes, traitor, I mean to wed the constable, though shrink- 
 ing from his ardent touch, to avenge me on myself! to be my own 
 scourge and tormentor, for having selected so fatally the object of 
 my frantic passion. Since deep-rooted obedience to the will of God 
 forbids to entertain the thought of a premature death, whatever days 
 may be allotted me to drag on shall be but a lengthened chain of 
 heaviness and torment. If a sentiment of love lurks about your 
 heart, it will be revenge enough for me to cast myself into your 
 presence, the devoted bride or victim of another: but if you have 
 thrown off my remembrance with your own vows, Sicily at least shall 
 glory in the distinction of reckoning among its natives a woman who 
 knew how to punish herself for having disposed of her heart too 
 lightly.' 
 
 " In such a state of mind did this wretched martyr to love and 
 duty pass the night preceding her marriage with the constable. 
 Siffredi, finding her the next morning ready to comply with his 
 wishes, hastened to avail himself of this favorable disposition. He 
 sent for the constable to Belmonte on that very day, and the mar- 
 riage ceremony was performed privately in the chapel of the castle. 
 What a crisis for Blanche ! It was not enough to renounce a crown, 
 to lose a lover endeared to her by every tie, and to yield herself up 
 to the object of her hatred; in addition to all this she must put a 
 constraint on her sentiments before a husloand naturally jealous, and 
 long occupied with the most ardent admiration of her charms. The 
 bridegroom, delighted in the possession of her, was all day long in 
 her presence. He did not leave her to the miserable consolation of 
 pouring out her sorrows in secret. When night arrived, Leontio's 
 daughter felt all her disgust and terror redoubled. But what seemed 
 likely to become of her when her women, after having undressed 
 her, left her alone with the constable ? He inquired respectfully 
 into the cause of her apparent faintness and discomposure. The 
 question was sufficiently embarrassing to Blanche, who affected to be 
 ill. Her husband was at first deceived by her pretences ; but he did 
 nut long remain in such an error. Being, as he was, sincerely cou-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 203 
 
 cerned at the condition in which he saw her, but still pressing her 
 to go to bed, his urgent solicitations, falsely construed by her, offered 
 to her wounded mind an image so cruel and indelicate, that she 
 could no longer dissemble what was passing within, but gave a free 
 course to her sighs and tears. What a discovery for a man who 
 thought himself at the summit of his wishes ! He no longetdoubted 
 but the distressed state of his wife was fraught with some sinister 
 omen to his love. And yet, though this knowledge reduced him to 
 a situation almost as deplorable as that of Blanche, he had sufficient 
 command over himself to keep his suspicions within his own breast. 
 He redoubled his assiduities, and went on pressing his bride to lay 
 herself down, assuring her that the repose of which she stood in 
 need should be undisturbed by his interruption. He offered of hia 
 own accord even to call her women, if she was of opinion that their 
 attendance could afford any relief to her indisposition. Blanche, 
 reviving at that proposal, told him that sleep was the best 
 remedy for the debility under which she labored. He affected to 
 think so too. They accordingly partook of the same bed, but with 
 a conduct altogether different from what the laws of love, sanctioned 
 by the rites of marriage, might authorize in a pair mutually delighted 
 and delighting. 
 
 " While Siffredi's daughter was giving way to her grief, the con- 
 stable was hunting in his own mind for the causes which might ren- 
 der the nuptial office so contemptible a sinecure in his hands. He 
 could not be long in conjecturing that he had a rival, but when he 
 attempted to discover him he was lost in the labyrinth of his own 
 ideas. All he knew with certainty was the peculiar severity of his 
 own fate. He had already passed two-thirds of the night in this 
 perplexity of thought, when an undistinguishable noise grew gradu- 
 ally on his sense of hearing Great was his surprise when a foot- 
 step 1 seemed audibly to pace about the room. He fancied himself 
 mistaken, for he recollected shutting the door himself after Blanche's 
 women had retired He drew back the curtain to satisfy his senses 
 on the occasion of this extraordinary noise. But the light in the 
 chimney corner had gone out, and he soon heard a feeble and mel- 
 ancholy voice calling Blanche with anxious and importunate repe- 
 titions. Then did the suggestions of his jealousy transport him 
 into rage. His insulted honor obliged him to rush firom the bed to 
 which he had so long aspired, and either to prevent a meditated 
 injury or take vengeance for its perpetration, he caught up his 
 sword and flew forward in the direction whence the voice seemed to 
 proceed. He felt a naked blade opposed to his own. As he 
 advanced, his antagonist retired. The pursuit became more eager, 
 the retreat more precipitate. His search was vigilant, and every
 
 204 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.. 
 
 corner of the room seemed to contain its object but that which he 
 momentarily occupied. The darkness, however, favored the un- 
 known invader, and he was nowhere to be found. The pursuer 
 halted. He listened but heard no sound. It seemed like enchant- 
 ment ! He made for the door, under the idea that this was the out- 
 let to the secret assassin of his honor, yet the bolt was shut as fast 
 as before. Unable to comprehend this strange occurrence, he called 
 those of his retinue who were most within reach of his voice. As 
 he opened the door for this purpose, he placed himself so as to pre- 
 vent all egress, and stood upon his guard, lest the devoted victim of 
 his search should escape. 
 
 " At his redoubled cries, some servants ran with lights. He laid 
 hold of a taper and renewed his search in the chamber with his 
 sword still drawn. Yet he found no one there, nor any apparent 
 sign of any person having been in the room. He was not aware of 
 any private door, nor could he discover any practicable mode of 
 escape; yet, for all this, he could not shut his eyes against the 
 nature and circumstance of his misfortune. His thoughts were all 
 thrown into inextricable confusion. To ask any questions of 
 Blanche was in vain, for she had too deep an interest in perplexing 
 the truth, to furnish any clew whatever to its discovery. He there- 
 fore adopted the measure of unbosoming his griefs to Leontio ; but 
 previously sent away his attendants with the excuse that he thought 
 he had heard some noise in the room, but was mistaken. His father- 
 in-law, having left his chamber in consequence of this strange dis- 
 turbance, met him, and heard from his lips the particulars of this 
 unaccountable adventure. The narrative was accompanied with 
 every indication of extreme agony, produced by deep and tender 
 feeling, as well as by a sense of insulted honor. 
 
 "Siffredi was surprised at the occurrence. Though it did not 
 appear to him at all probable, that was no reason for being easy 
 about its reality. The king's passion might accomplish anything ; 
 and that idea alone justified the most cruel apprehensions. But it 
 could do no good to foster either the natural jealousy of his son-in- 
 law, or his particular suspicions arising out of circumstances. He, 
 therefore, endeavored to persuade him, with an air of confidence, 
 that this imaginary voice, and airy sword opposed to his substantial 
 one, were, and could possibly be but the gratuitous creations of a 
 fancy, under the influence of amorous distrust. It was morally 
 impossible that any person should have ma<le his way into his 
 daughter's chamber. With regard to the melancholy so visible in 
 his wife's deportment, it might very naturally be attributed to pre- 
 carious health and delicacy of constitution. The honor of a husband 
 need not be so tremblingly alive to all the qualms of maiden fear
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 205 
 
 and inexperience. Change of condition in the case of a girl habitu- 
 ated to live almost without human society, and abruptly consigned 
 to the embraces of a man in whom love and previous acquaintance 
 had not inspired confidence, might innocently be the cause of these 
 tears, of these sighs, and of this lively affliction so irksome to his 
 feelings. But it was to be considered that tenderness, especially in 
 the hearts of young ladies, fortified by the pride of blood against 
 the excesses of love-sick abandonment, was only to be cherished 
 into a flame by time and assiduity. He, therefore, exhorted him to 
 tranquillize his disturbed mind ; to be ardently officious in redoub- 
 ling every instance of affection ; to create a soft and seducing interest 
 in the sensibility of Blanche. In short, he besought him earnestly 
 to return to her apartment, and labored to persuade him that his 
 distrust and confusion would only set her on an unconjugal and 
 litigious defence of her insulted virtue. 
 
 " The constable returned no answer to the argument of his father- 
 in-law, whether because he began to think in good earnest that his 
 senses were imposed on by the disorder of his mind, or because he 
 thought it more to the purpose to dissemble than to undertake 
 ineffectually to convince the old man of an intent so devoid of all 
 likelihood. He returned to his wife's chamber, laid himself down 
 by her side, and endeavored to obtain from sleep some relief from 
 his extreme uneasiness. Blanche, on her part, the unhappy Blanche, 
 was not a whit more at her ease. Her ears had been but too open 
 to the same alarming sounds which had assailed her husband's 
 peace ; nor could she construe into illusion an adventure of which 
 she well knew the secret and the motive. She was surprised that 
 Enriquez should attempt to find his way into her apartment, after 
 having pledged his faith so solemnly to the Princess Constance. 
 Instead of feeding her soul with vanity, or deriving any fluttering 
 omens from a proceeding fraught with personal tenderness, but 
 destructive to self-approbation, she considered it as a new insult, and 
 her heart was only so much the more exasperated with resentment 
 against the author. 
 
 " While Siffredi's daughter, with all her prejudices excited against 
 the young king, believed him the most guilty of men, that unhappy 
 prince, more than ever ensnared by Blanche, was anxious for an 
 interview, to satisfy her mind on a subject which seemed to make 
 so much against him. For that purpose he would have visited Bel- 
 monte sooner, but for a press of business too urgent to be neglected ; 
 nor could he withdraw himself from the court before that night. 
 He was perfectly at home in all the turnings of a place where he 
 had been brought up, and, therefore, was at no loss to slip into the 
 castle of Siffredi. Nay, he was still in possession of the key to a 
 
 t
 
 206 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 secret door communicating with the gardens. By this inlet did he 
 gain his former apartment, and there found his way into Blanche's 
 chamber. Only conceive what must have been the astonishment of 
 that prince to find a man in possession, and to feel a sword opposed 
 to his guard ! He was just on the point of betraying all, and of 
 punishing the rebel on the very spot, whose sacrilegious hand had 
 dared to lift itself against the person of its lawful sovereign. But 
 then the delicacy due to the daughter of Leontio held his indig- 
 nation in check. He retreated in the same direction as he had 
 advanced, and regained the Palermo road, in more distress and per- 
 plexity than ever. Getting home some little time before daybreak, 
 his apartment afforded him the most quiet retreat. But his thoughts 
 were all on the road back to Belmonte, the resting-place of his affec- 
 tions. A sense of honor ; in a word, love with all its pretensions 
 and surmises, would never allow him to delay an explanation, 
 involving all the circumstances of so strange and melancholy an 
 adventure. 
 
 " As soon as it was daylight he gave out that he was going on a 
 hunting expedition Under cover of sporting, his huntsmen and a 
 chosen party of his courtiers penetrated into the forest of Belmonte 
 under his direction. The chase was followed for some time, as a 
 blind to his real design. When he saw the whole party eagerly 
 driving on, and wholly engrossed by the sport, he galloped off in a 
 difforent direction, and struck, without any attendants, into the 
 road towards Leontio's castle. The various tracks of the forest 
 were too well known to him to admit of his losing his way. His 
 impatience, too, would not allow him to take any thought of his 
 horse, so that the moments scarcely flitted faster than his expedition 
 in leaving" behind him the distance which separated him from the 
 object of his love. His very soul was on the rack for some plausible 
 excuse to plead for a private interview with Siffredi's daughter, 
 when, crossing a narrow path just at the park gate, he observed two 
 women sitting close by him, in earnest conversation, under the 
 shelter of a tree. It might well be supposed that these females 
 belonged to the castle ; and even that probability was sufficient to 
 rouse an interest in him. But his emotion was heightened into a 
 feeling beyond his reason to control, for these ladies happened to 
 look round on hearing the trot of a horse advancing in that direc- 
 tion, when at once he recognized his dear Blanche. The fact was, 
 she had made her escape from the castle with Nisa, the person of 
 all others among her women most in her confidence, that she might 
 at least have the satisfaction of weeping over her misfortunes with- 
 out intrusion or restraint. 
 
 " He flew, and seemed rather to throw himself headlong than to
 
 ADVENTUEES OF OIL BLAS. 207 
 
 fall at her feet. But when he beheld in the expression of her 
 countenance every mark of the deepest affliction, his heart was 
 softened. ' Lovely Blanche,' said he, ' do not, let me entreat you, 
 give way to the emotions of your grief. Appearances, I own, must 
 represent me as guilty in your eyes, but when you shall be made 
 acquainted with my project in your behalf, what you consider as a 
 crime will be transformed in your thoughts into a proof of my inno- 
 cence, and an evidence of my unparalleled affection.' These words, 
 calculated, according to the views of Enriquez, to allay the grief of 
 Blanche, served only to redouble her affliction. Fain would she 
 have answered, but her sobs stifled her "Utterance. The prince, 
 thunderstruck at the death-like agitation of her frame, addressed 
 her thus : ' What, madam, is there no possibility of tranquillizing 
 your agitation? By what sad mischance have I lost your confi- 
 dence, at the very moment when my crown and even my life are 
 at stake, in consequence of my resolution to hold myself engaged 
 to you ?' At this suggestion the daughter of Leontio, doing violence 
 to her own feelings, but thinking it necessary to explain herself, 
 said to him : ' My liege, your assurances are no longer admissible. 
 My destiny and yours are henceforward as far asunder as the poles.' 
 'Ah! Blanche,' interrupted Enriquez with impatience, 'what cut- 
 ting words are these, too painful for my sense of hearing? Who 
 dares step in between our loves? Who would venture to stand 
 forward against the headlong rage of a king who would kindle all 
 Sicily into a conflagration, rather than suffer you to be ravished 
 from his long-cherished hopes?' 'All your power, my liege, great 
 as it is,' replied the daughter of Siffredi in a tone of melancholy, 
 ' becomes inefficient against the obstacles in the way of our union. 
 I know not how to tell it you, but ... I am married to the con- 
 stable.' 
 
 " ' Married to the constable !' exclaimed the prince, starting back 
 to some distance from her. He could proceed no further in his 
 discourse, so completely was he thunderstruck at the intelligence. 
 Overwhelmed by this unexpected blow, he felt his strength forsake 
 him. His unconscious limbs laid themselves without his guidance 
 against a trunk of a tree just behind him. His countenance was 
 pallid, his whole frame in a tremor, his mind bewildered, and his 
 spirits depressed. With no sense or faculty at liberty but that of 
 gazing, and there every power of his soul was suspended on Blanche, 
 he made her feel most poignantly how he himself was agonized by 
 the fatal event she had announced. The expression of countenance 
 on her part was such as to show him that her emotions were not 
 uncongenial with his own. Thus did these two distressed lovBrs 
 for a time preserve a silence towards each other, which portended
 
 208 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS. 
 
 something of terror in its calmness. At length the prince, recover- 
 ing a little 'from his disorder by an effort of courage, resumed the 
 discourse, and said to Blanche with a sigh, 'Madam, what have you 
 done? You have destroyed me, and involved yourself in the same 
 ruin by your credulity.' 
 
 " Blanche was offended at the seeming reproaches of the king, 
 when the strongest grounds of complaint were apparently on her 
 side. ' What I my lord,' answered she, ' do you add dissimulation 
 to infidelity ? Would you have me reject the evidence of my own 
 eyes and ears, so as to believe you innocent in spite of their report? 
 No, my lord, I will own* to you such an effort of abstraction is not 
 in my power.' ' And yet, madam,' replied the king, ' these witnesses 
 by whose testimony you have been so fully convinced are but im- 
 postors. They have been in a conspiracy to betray you. It is no 
 less the fact that I am innocent and faithful than it is true that you 
 are married to the constable.' ' What is it you say, my lord ?' re- 
 plied she. ' Did I not overhear you confirming the pledge of your 
 hand and heart to Constance ? Have you not bound yourself to the 
 nobility of the realm, and undertaken to comply with the will of 
 the late king? Has not the princess received the homage of your 
 new subjects as their queen, and in quality of bride to Prince Enri- 
 quez? Were my eyes then fascinated? Tell me, tell me rather, 
 traitor, that Blanche was weighed as dust in the balance of your 
 heart, when compared with the attractions of a throne ! Without 
 lowering yourself so far as to assume what you no longer feel, and 
 what perhaps you never felt, own at once that th crown of Sicily 
 appeared a more tenable possession with Constance than with the 
 daughter of Leontio. You are in the right, my lord. My title to 
 an illustrious throne, and to the heart of a prince like you, stands 
 on an equally precarious footing. It was vanity in the extreme to 
 prefer a claim to either ; but you ought not to have drawn me on 
 into error. You will recollect what alarms were my portion at the 
 very thought of losing you, of which I had almost a supernatural 
 foreboding. Why did you lull my apprehensions to sleep? To 
 what purpose was that delusive mockery ? I might else have accused 
 Fate rather than yourself, and you would at least have retained an 
 interest in my heart, though unaccompanied by a hand which no 
 other suitor could ever have obtained. As we are now circum- 
 stanced, your justification is out of season. I am married to the 
 constable. To relieve me from the continuance of an interview 
 which casts a shade over my purity, hitherto unsullied, permit me, 
 my lord, without failing in due respect, to withdraw from the pres- 
 ence of a prince to whose addresses I am even no longer at liberty 
 to listen.'
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 209 
 
 " With these words she darted away from Enriquez in as hurried 
 a step as the agitation of her spirits would allow. ' Stop; madam,' 
 exclaimed he ; ' drive not to despair a prince inclined to overturn a 
 throne which you reproach him for having preferred to yourself, 
 rather than yield to the importunities of his new subjects.' ' That 
 sacrifice is under present circumstances superfluous,' rejoined 
 Blanche. ' The bond must be broken between the constable and 
 me, before any effect can be produced by these generous transports. 
 Since I am not my own mistress, little would it avail that Sicily 
 should be embroiled, nor does it concern me to whom you give your 
 hand. If I had betrayed my own weakness, and suffered my heart 
 to be surprised, at least shall I muster fortitude enough to suppress 
 every soft emotion, and prove to the new king of Sicily, that the 
 wife of the constable is no longer the mistress of Prince Enriquez.' 
 While this conversation was passing, they reached the park gate. 
 With a sudden spring she and Nisa got within the walls. As they 
 took care to fasten the wicket after them, the prince was left in a 
 state of melancholy and stupefaction. He could not recover from 
 the stunning sensation occasioned by the intelligence of Blanche's 
 marriage. ' Unjust may I well call you !' exclaimed he. ' You have 
 buried all remembrance of our solemn engagement ! Spite of my 
 protestations and your own, our fates are rent asunder ! The long- 
 cherished hope of possessing those charms was an empty phantom 1 
 Ah ! cruel as you are, how dearly have I purchased the distinction 
 of compelling you to acknowledge the constancy of my love !' 
 
 "At that moment his rival's happiness, heightened by the coloring 
 of jealousy, presented itself to his mind in all the horrors of that 
 frantic passion. So arbitrary was its sway over him for some mo- 
 ments, that he was on the point of sacrificing the constable, and 
 even Siffredi, to his blind vengeance. Reason, however, calmed by 
 little and little the violence of his transports. And yet the obvious 
 impossibility of effacing from the mind of Blanche her natural con- 
 viction of his infidelity, reduced him to despair. He flattered him- 
 self with weaning her from her prejudices, could he but converse 
 with her secure from interruption. To attain this end, it seemed 
 the most feasible plan to get rid of the constable. He, therefore, 
 determined to have him arrested, as a person suspected of treason- 
 able designs in the then unsettled state of public affairs. The com- 
 mission was given to the captain of his guard, who went immediately 
 to Belmonte, secured the person of his prisoner just as the evening 
 was closing in, and carried him to the castle of Palermo. 
 
 " This occurrence spread an alarm at Belmonte. Siffredi took his 
 departure forthwith, to offer his own responsibility to the king for 
 the innocence of his son-in-law, and to represent in their true colors 
 14
 
 210 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 the unpleasant consequences attending such arbitrary exertions of 
 power. The prince, who had anticipated such a proceeding on the 
 part of his minister, and was determined at least to secure himself 
 a free interview with Blanche before the release of the constable, 
 had expressly forbidden any one to address him till the next day. 
 But Leontio, setting this prohibition at defiance, contrived so well 
 as to make his way into the king's chamber. ' My Uege,' said he, 
 with an air of humility tempered with firmness, ' if it is allowable 
 for a subject full of respect and loyalty to complain of his master, 
 I have to arraign you before the tribunal of your own conscience. 
 What crime has my son-in-law committed? Has your majesty 
 sufficiently reflected what an everlasting reproach is entailed on my 
 family? Are the consequences of an imprisonment calculated to 
 disgust all the most important officers of the state with the service, 
 a matter of indifference ?' ' I have undoubted information,' answered 
 the king, ' that the constable holds a criminal correspondence with 
 the Infant Don Pedro.' ' A criminal correspondence 1' interrupted 
 Leontio, with surprise. ' Ah ! my liege, give no ear to the surmise. 
 Your majesty is played upon. Treason never gained a footing in 
 the family of Siffredi. It is sufficient security for the constable 
 that he is my son-in-law, to place him above all suspicion. The 
 constable is innocent ; but private motives have been the occasion 
 of your arresting him.' 
 
 " ' Since you speak-to me so openly,' replied the king, ' I will adopt 
 the same sincerity with you. You complain of the constable's im- 
 prisonment ! Be it so. And have I no reason to complain of your 
 cruelty ? It is you, barbarous Siffredi, who have wrested my tran- 
 quillity from me, and reduced your sovereign, by your officious cares, 
 to envy the lowliest of the human race. For do not so far deceive 
 yourself as to believe that I shall ever enter into your views. My 
 marriage with Constance is quite out of the question.' . . . . ' What, 
 my liege,' interrupted Leontio, with an expression of horror, ' is 
 there any doubt about your marrying the princess, after having flat- 
 tered her with that hope in the face of your whole people ?' ' If their 
 wishes are disappointed,' replied the king, ' take the credit to your- 
 self. Wherefore did you reduce me to the necessity of giving them 
 a promise my heart would not allow me to make good? Where was 
 the occasion to fill up with the name of Constance an instrument de- 
 signed for the elevation of your own daughter ? You could not be 
 a stranger to my design ; need you have completed your tyranny by 
 devoting Blanche to the arms of a man to whom she could not give 
 her heart? And what authority have you over mine to dispose of 
 it in favor of a princess whom I detest? Have you forgotten that 
 she is the daughter of that cruel Matilda, who, trampling the rights
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 211 
 
 of consanguinity and human nature under foot, caused my father to 
 breathe his last under all the rigors of a hard captivity ? And should 
 I marry her ! No, Siffredi, throw away that hope. Before the lurid 
 torch of such an hymeneal shall be kindled in your presence, you 
 shall behold all Sicily in flames, and the expiring embers quenched 
 in blood.' 
 
 " ' Do not my ears deceive me ?' exclaimed Leontio. ' Ah I Sover- 
 eign, what a scene do you present rne with ! Who can hear such 
 menaces without shuddering ? But I am too forward to take alarm,' 
 continued he, in an altered voice. ' You are in too close a union 
 with your subjects to be the Instrument of a catastrophe so melan- 
 choly. You will not suffer passion to triumph over your reason. 
 Virtues like yours shall never lose their lustre by the tarnish of 
 human and ordinary weakness. If I had given my daughter into 
 the arms of the constable, it was with the design, my liege, of secur- 
 ing to your majesty a powerful subject, able by his own valor, and 
 the army under his command, to maintain your party against that 
 of the Prince Don Pedro. It appeared to me that by connecting 
 him with my family in so close a bond' . . . . ' Yes, yes ! This bond/ 
 exclaimed Prince Enriquez, ' this fatal bond has been my ruin; Un- 
 feeling friend, to aim a wound at my vital part 1 What commission 
 had you to take care of my interests at the expense of my affections? 
 Why did you not leave me to support my pretensions by my own 
 arm? Was there any question about my courage, that I should be 
 thought incompetent to reduce my rebellious subjects to their obedi- 
 ence ? Means might have been found to punish the constable had 
 he dared to have fallen off from his allegiance ! I am well aware of 
 the difference between a lawful king and an arbitrary tyrant. The 
 happiness of our people is our first duty. But are we, on the other 
 hand, to be the slaves of our subjects ? From the moment when we 
 are selected by Heaven for our high office, do we lose the common 
 privilege of nature, the birthright of the human race, to dispose of 
 our affections in whatsoever current they flow ? Well, then ! If we 
 are less our own masters than the lowest of the human race, take 
 back, Siffredi, that sovereign authority you affect to have secured to 
 me by the wreck of my personal happiness.' 
 
 "'You cannot but be acquainted, my liege/ replied the minister, 
 ' that it was on your marriage with the princess, the late king, your 
 uncle, made the succession of the crown to depend.' ' And-by what 
 right/ rejoined Enriquez, ' did even he assume to himself so arbitrary 
 a disposition ? Was it on such unworthy terms that he succeeded 
 his brother, King Charles? How came you yourself to be so besot- 
 ted as to allow of a stipulation so unjust? For a high chancellor, 
 you are not too well versed in our laws and constitutions. To cut
 
 212 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 the matter short, though I have promised my hand to Constance, the 
 engagement was not voluntary. I do not, therefore, think myself 
 bound to keep my word ; and if Don Pedro founds on my refusal any 
 hope of succeeding to the throne without involving the nation in a 
 bloody and destructive contest, his error will be too soon visible. The 
 sword shall decide between us to whom the prize of empire may 
 more worthily fall.' Leontio could not venture to press him further, 
 and confined himself to supplicating on his knees for the liberty of 
 his son-in-law. That boon he obtained. ' Go,' said the king to him, 
 ' return to Belrnonte, the constable shall follow you thither without 
 delay.' The minister departed, and made the best of his way to Bel- 
 monte, under the persuasion that his son-in-law would overtake him 
 on the road. In this he was mistaken. Enriquez was determined 
 to visit Blanche that night, and with such views he deferred the en- 
 largement of her husband till the next morning. 
 
 " During this time the feelings of the constable were of the most 
 agonizing nature. His imprisonment had opened his eyes to the 
 real cause of his misfortune. He gave himself up to jealousy with- 
 out restraint or remorse, and belieing the good faith which had 
 hitherto rendered his character so valuable, his thoughts were all 
 bent on his revenge. As he conjectured rightly that the king would 
 not fail to reconnoitre Blanche's apartment during the night, it was 
 his object to surprise them together. He, therefore, besought the gov- 
 ernor of the castle at Palermo to allow of his absence from the 
 prison, on the assurance of his return before daybreak. The gover- 
 nor, who was devoted to his interest, gave his permission so much 
 the more easily, as being already advertised that Siffredi had pro- 
 cured his liberty. Indeed he even went so far as to supply him 
 with a horse for his journey to Belmonte. The constable on his 
 arrival there fastened his horse to a tree. He then got into the park 
 by a little gate of which he had the key, and was lucky enough to 
 slip into the castle without being recognized by any one. On 
 reaching his wife's apartment, he concealed himself in the ante- 
 chamber, behind a screen placed as if expressly for his use. Hia 
 intention was to observe narrowly what was going forward, and to 
 present himself on the sudden in Blanche's chamber at the sound of 
 any footstep he should hear. The first object he beheld was Nisa, 
 taking leave of her mistress for the night, and withdrawing to a 
 closet where she slept. 
 
 " Siffredi's daughter, who had been at no loss to fathom the mean- 
 ing of her husband's imprisonment, was fully convinced that he 
 would not return to Belmonte that night, although she had heard 
 from her father of the king's assurance that the constable should set 
 out immediately after him. As little could she doubt but Enriquez
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 213 
 
 would avail himself of the interval to see and converse with her at 
 his pleasure. With this expectation she awaited the prince's arri- 
 val, to reproach him for a line of conduct so pregnant with fatal 
 consequences to herself. As she had anticipated, a very short time 
 after Nisa had retired, the sliding panel opened, and the king threw 
 himself at the feet of his beloved. 'Madam,' said he, 'condemn me 
 not without a hearing. It is true I have occasioned the constable's 
 imprisonment, but then consider that it was the only method left 
 me for my justification. Attribute, therefore, that desperate strata- 
 gem to yourself alone. Why did you refuse to listen to my expla- 
 nation this morning? Alas I to-morrow your husband will be 
 liberated, and I shall no longer have an opportunity of addressing 
 you. Hearken to me then for the last time. If the loss of you has 
 embittered the remainder of my days, vouchsafe me at least the mel- 
 ancholy satisfaction of convincing you that I have not called down 
 this misfortune on myself by my own inconstancy. I did indeed 
 confirm the pledge of my hand to Constance, but then it was un- 
 avoidable in the situation to which your father's policy had reduced 
 us. It was necessary to put this imposition on the princess for your 
 interest and for my own ; to secure to you your crown, and with it 
 the hand and heart of your devoted lover. I had flattered myself 
 with the prospect of success. Measures were already taken to super- 
 sede that engagement, but you have destroyed the bright illusions 
 of my fancy ; and, by disposing of yourself too precipitately, have 
 antedated an eternity of torment for two hearts, whom a mutual and 
 perfect love might have conducted to perpetual bliss.' 
 
 " He concluded this explanation with such evident marks of un- 
 feigned agony, that Blanche was affected by his words. She had no 
 longer any hesitation about his innocence. At first her joy was 
 unbounded at the conviction ; but then again a sense of their cruel 
 circumstances gained the ascendency over her mind. 'Ah I my 
 honored lord,' said she to the prince, ' after such a determination of 
 our destinies, you only inflict a new pang by informing me that you 
 were not to blame. What have I done, wretched as I am ! My keen 
 resentment has betrayed me into error. I fancied myself cast off; 
 and in the moment of my anger, accepted the hand of the constable, 
 whose addresses my father promoted. But the crime is all my own, 
 though the woes are mutual. Alas ! In the very conjuncture when I 
 accused you of deceiving me, it was my own act, too credulously 
 impassioned as I was, that the ties were broken, which I had sworn 
 forever to make indissoluble. Take your revenge, my lord, in your 
 turn. Indulge your hatred against the ungrateful Blanche. . . . 
 Forget.' . . . 'What! and is it in my power then, madam?' inter- 
 rupted Enriquez with a dejected air : ' how is it possible to tear a
 
 214 ADVENTUItES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 passion from my heart, which even your injustice had not the power 
 of extinguishing?' 'Yet it becomes necessary for you to make that 
 effort, my liege,' replied the daughter of Siffredi, with a deep sigh. 
 . . . ' And shall you be equal to that effort yourself?' replied the 
 king. ' I am not confident with myself for my success,' answered 
 she : ' but I shall spare no pains in the attainment of my object.' 
 ' Ah I unfeeling fair one,' said the prince, ' you will easily banish 
 Enriquez from your remembrance, since you can contemplate such 
 a purpose so steadfastly.' ' Whither, then, does your imagination 
 lead?' said Blanche, in a more decided tone. ' Do you natter your- 
 self that I can permit the continuance of your tender assiduities ? 
 No, my lord ; banish that hope forever from your thoughts. If I 
 was not born for royalty, neither has Heaven formed me to be de- 
 graded by illicit addresses. My husband, like yourself, my liege, is 
 allied to the noble house of Anjou. Though the call of duty were 
 less peremptory, in opposing an insurmountable obstacle to your 
 insidious proposals, a sense of pride would hinder me from admit- 
 ting them. I conjure you to withdraw ; we must meet no more.' 
 ' What a barbarous sentence!' exclaimed the king. 'Ah ! Blanche, 
 is it possible that you should treat me with so much severity ? Is it 
 not enough, then, to weigh me down, that the constable should be 
 in possession of your charms ? And yet you would cut me off from 
 the bare sight of you, the only comfort which remains to me I' 
 'For that very reason avoid my presence,' answered Siffredi's 
 daughter, not without some tears of tenderness. ' The contempla- 
 tion of what we have dearly loved is no longer a blessing, when we 
 have lost all hope of the possession. Adieu, my lord ! Shun my 
 very image. You owe that exertion to your own honor and to my 
 good name. I claim it also for my own peace of mind : for to deal 
 sincerely, though my virtue should be steady enough to combat 
 with the suggestions of my heart, the very remembrance of yout 
 affection stirs up so cruel a conflict, that it is almost too much for 
 my frail nature to support the shock.' 
 
 " Her utterance of these words was attended with so energetic an 
 action, as to overset the light placed on a table behind her, and its 
 fall left the room in darkness. Blanche picked it up. She then 
 opened the door of the ante-chamber, and went to Nisa's closet, 
 who was not yet gone to bed, for the purpose of lighting it again. 
 She was now returning, after having accomplished her errand. The 
 king, who was waiting for her impatiently, no sooner saw her ap- 
 proach, than he resumed his ardent plea with her, to allow of his 
 attentions. At the prince's voice, the constable rushed impetuously, 
 sword in hand, into the room, almost at the same moment with his 
 bride. Advancing up to Enriquez with all the indignation which
 
 .- .-.- ". 
 
 DON RAPHAEL. 
 
 p. 215.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 215 
 
 his fury kindled within him : ' This is too much, tyrant !' cried he ; 
 'flatter not yourself that I am cowardly enough to bear this affront 
 which you have offered to my honor.' ' Ay ! traitor,' answered the 
 king, standing on his guard, ' lay aside the vain imagination of being 
 able to compass your purpose with impunity.' With these mutual 
 taunts, they entered on a conflict, too violent to be long undecided. 
 The constable, fearing lest Siffredi and his attendants should be roused 
 too soon by the piercing shrieks of Blanche, and should interpose 
 between him and his revenge, took no care of himself. His frenzy 
 robbed him of all skill. He fenced so heedlessly, as to run headlong 
 on his adversary's sword. The weapon entered his body up to the 
 hilt. He fell ; and the king instantaneously checked his hand. 
 
 " The daughter of Leontio, touched at her husband's condition, and 
 rising superior to her natural repugnance, threw herself on the 
 ground, and was anxious to afford him every assistance. But that 
 ill-fated bridegroom was too deeply prejudiced against her, to allow 
 himself to be softened by the evidences she gave of her sorrow and 
 her pity. Death, whose hand he felt upon him, could not trifle the 
 transports of his jealousy. In these his last moments, no image 
 presented itself to his mind but his rival's success. So insufferable 
 was that idea to him, that, collecting together the little strength he 
 had left, he raised his sword, which he still grasped convulsively, 
 and plunged it deep in Blanche's bosom. ' Die,' said he, as he in- 
 flicted the fatal wound ; ' die, faithless bride, since the ties of wed- 
 lock were not strong enough to preserve to me the vow which you 
 had sworn, upon the altar ! And as for you, Enriquez,' pursued he, 
 ' triumph not too loudly on your destinies. You are prevented from 
 taking advantage of my froward fortune; and I die content.' 
 Scarcely did these words quiver on his lips, when he breathed his 
 last. His countenance, overcast as it was with the shades of death, 
 had still something in it of fierceness and of terror. That of Blanche 
 presented a quite different aspect. The wound which she had re- 
 ceived was mortal. She fell on the scarcely breathing body of her 
 husband ; and the blood of the innocent victim flowed in the same 
 stream with that of her murderer, who had executed his cruel purpose 
 so suddenly that the king could not prevent it from taking effect. 
 
 " This ill-fated prince uttered a cry at the sight of Blanche as she 
 fell. Pierced deeper than herself by the stab which deprived her 
 of life, he did his utmost to afford the same relief to her as she had 
 offered, though at so fatal an expense, to one who might have re- 
 warded her better. But she addressed him in these words, while 
 the last breath quivered on her lips : ' My lord, your assiduities are 
 fruitless ; I am the victim. Merciless Fate demands me, and I re- 
 sign myself to death. May the anger of Heaven be appeased'by
 
 216 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 the sacrifice, and the prosperity of your reign be confirmed.' K?, 
 she was with difficulty uttering these last words, Leontio, drawn 
 thither by the reverberation of her shrieks, came into the room, 
 and, thunderstruck at the dreadful scene before him, remained fixed 
 to the spot where he stood. Blanche, without noticing his presence, 
 went on addressing herself to the king. ' Farewell, prince,' said 
 she ; ' cherish my memory with the tenderness it deserves. My 
 affection and my misfortunes entitle me at least to that. Harbor 
 no aversion to my father: he is innocent. Be a comfort to his re- 
 maining days; assuage his grief ; acknowledge his fidelity. Above 
 all, convince him of my spotless virtue. With this I charge you, 
 before every other consideration. Farewell, my dear Enriquez. . . . 
 I am dying. . . . Receive my last sigh.' 
 
 " Here her words were interrupted by the approach of death. For 
 some time, the king maintained a sullen silence. At length he said 
 to Siffredi, whose senses seemed to be locked up in a mortal trance : 
 ' Behold, Leontio ; feed on the contemplation of your own work. In 
 this tragical event, you may ruminate on the issues of your officious 
 cares, and your overweening zeal for my service.' The old man 
 returned no answer, so deeply was he penetrated by his affliction. 
 But wherefore dwell on the description of circumstances, when the 
 powers of language must sink under the weight of such a catas- 
 trophe? Suffice it to say, that they mutually poured forth their 
 sorrows in the most affecting terms, as soon as their grief allowed 
 them to give vent to its effusions in speech. 
 
 " Through the whole course of his life, the king cherished a ten- 
 der recollection of his mistress. He could not bring himself to marry 
 Constance. The Infant Don Pedro combined with that princess, 
 and, by their joint efforts, an obstinate attempt was made to carry 
 the will of Roger into execution ; but they were compelled in the 
 end to give way to Prince Enriquez, who gained the ascendency 
 over all his enemies. As for Siffredi, the melancholy he contracted 
 from having been the cause of destruction to his dearest friends 
 gave him a disgust to the world, and made a longer abode in his 
 native country insupportable. He turned his back on Sicily for 
 ever ; and, coming over into Spain with Portia, his surviving daugh- 
 ter, purchased this mansion. He lived nearly fifteen years after the 
 death of Blanche, and had the consolation, before his own death, of 
 establishing Portia in the world. She married Don Jerome de 
 Silva, and I am the only issue of that marriage. Such," pursued 
 the widow of Don Pedro de Pinares, " is the story of my family a 
 faithful recital of the melancholy events represented in that picture, 
 which was painted by order of my grandfather, Leontio, as a record 
 to his posterity of the fatal adventure I have related."
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS, 217 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE BEHAVIOR OF AURORA DE GUZMAN ON HER ARRIVAL AT 
 SALAMANCA. 
 
 OETIZ, her companions, and myself, after having heard this 
 tale, withdrew together from the hall, where we left Aurora 
 with Elvira. There they lengthened out the remainder of the day 
 in a mutual intercourse of confidence. They were not likely to be 
 weary of each other, -and on the following morning, when we took 
 our leave, there was as much to do to part them, as if they had 
 been two friends brought up in the closest habits of confidence and 
 aifection. 
 
 In due time we .reached Salamanca without any impediment. 
 There we immediately engaged a ready-furnished house, and Dame 
 Ortiz, as it had been before agreed, assumed the name of Donna 
 Kimena de Guzman. She had played the part of a duenna too 
 long not to be able to shift her character according to circum- 
 stances. One .morning she went out with Aurora, a waiting-maid, 
 and a man-servant, and betook herself to a lodging-house, where 
 we had been informed that Pacheco most commonly took up his 
 abode. She asked if there was any lodging to be let there. The 
 answer was in the affirmative, and they showed her into a room in 
 very neat condition, which she hired. She paid down earnest to 
 the landlady, telling her that it was for one of her nephews who 
 was coming from Toledo to finish his studies at Salamanca, and 
 might be expected on that very day. 
 
 The duenna and my mistress, after having made sure of this 
 apartment, went back the way they came, and the lovely Aurora, 
 without the loss of time, metamorphosed herself into a spruce young 
 spark. She concealed her black ringlets under a braid of light- 
 colored hair, the better to disguise herself ; . . . manufactured her 
 eyebrows to correspond, and dressed herself up in such a costume 
 as to look for all the world as if her sex were of a piece with her 
 appearance. Her deportment was free and easy ; so that, with the 
 exception of her face, which was somewhat more delicate than be- 
 came the manly character, there was nothing to lead to a discovery 
 of her masquerading. The waiting-woman who was to officiate as 
 page got into her paraphernalia at the same time, and we had no 
 apprehension respecting her competency to perform her part. There 
 was no danger of her beauty telling any tales ; and, besides, she 
 could put on as brazen-faced a swagger as the most impudent dog 
 in town. After dinner, our two actresses, finding themselves in cue
 
 218 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 to make their first appearance on the stage, where the scene was 
 laid in the ready-furnished lodging, took me along with them. We 
 all three placed ourselves in the coach, and carried with us all the 
 baggage we were likely to have occasion for. 
 
 The landlady, Bernarda Ramirez by name, welcomed us with 
 great civility, and led the way to our room, where we began to 
 make our arrangements with her. We concluded a bargain for our 
 board by the month, which she undertook should be suitable to our 
 condition. Then we asked if she had her complement of boarders. 
 "I have none at all at present," answered she. "Not that there 
 would be any want of enough, if I was of the mind to take in all 
 sorts of people ; but young men of fashion are the thing for me. I 
 expect one of that description this morning : he is coming hither 
 from Madrid to complete his education. Don Lewis Pacheco I But 
 you must have heard of him before now." " No," said Aurora, " I 
 have no acquaintance whatever with the gentleman ; and since we 
 are to be inmates together, you will do me a kindness by letting me 
 a little into his character." " Please your honor," replied the land- 
 lady, leering at this outside of a man, " his figure is as taking as 
 your own ; just the same sort of make, and about the same size. O ! 
 how well you will do together ! By St. James, though I say it who 
 should not say it, I shall have about me two of the prettiest young 
 fellows in all Spain." " Well, but about Don Lewis !" for my mis- 
 tress was in a fidget to ask the grand question. " Of course ; . . . 
 he is well with the ladies in your parts ! Enough of ... of love 
 affairs ... on his hands !" " O ! do not you be afraid of that," 
 rejoined the old lady ; " it is a forward sprig of gallantry, take my 
 word for it. He has but to show himself before the works, and the 
 citadel sends to capitulate. Among the number of his conquests, 
 he has got into the good graces of a lady, with as much youth and 
 beauty as he will know what to do with. Her name is Isabella. 
 Her father is an old doctor of laws. She is over head and ears in 
 love with him ; absolutely out of her wits !" " Well, but do tell 
 me now, my dear little woman," interrupted Aurora, as if she was 
 ready to burst, " is he out of his wits too ?" " He used to be very 
 fond of her," answered Bernarda Ramirez, " before'he went last to 
 Madrid, but whether he holds in the same mind still, I will not 
 venture to say ; because on these points he is not altogether to be 
 trusted. He is apt to flirt, first with one woman, and then with 
 another, just as all you young deceivers take pleasure in doing. 
 You are all alike !" 
 
 The good widow had scarcely got to the end of her harangue 
 before we heard a noise in the court. On looking out at the win- 
 dow, behold ! there appeared two young men dismounting from
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 219 
 
 their steeds. Whom should it be but the identical Don Lewis Pa- 
 checo, just arrived from Madrid, with a servant behind him. The 
 old lady brushed off to go and usher him in ; while my mistress was 
 putting herself in order, not without some palpitation of heart, to 
 enact Don Felix to the best of her conceptions. , Without waiting 
 for any formalities, in marched Don Lewis to our apartment in his 
 travelling dress. " I have just been informed," said he, paying his 
 respects to Aurora, " that a young nobleman of Toledo takes up his 
 abode in this house. May I take the liberty of expressing my joy 
 in the circumstance, and hoping that we maybe better acquainted?" 
 During my mistress's reply to this compliment, it seemed to me as 
 if Pacheco did not know what to make of so smock-faced a young 
 spark. Indeed he could not refrain from declaring a more than 
 ordinary admiration of an air and figure so attractive. After abun- 
 dance of discourse, with every demonstration of reciprocal good 
 breeding, Don Lewis withdrew to the apartment provided for him. 
 
 While he was getting his boots off, and changing his dress and 
 linen, a sort of a page, on the look-out after him to deliver a letter, 
 met Aurora by chance on the staircase. Her he mistook for Don 
 Lewis. Thinking he had found the right owner for this tender 
 message, of which he was the Mercury, " Softly ! my honored lord 
 and master," said he, " though I have not the honor of knowing 
 Signor Pacheco, there can be no occasion for asking whether you 
 are the man. It is impossible to be mistaken in the guess." "No, 
 my friend," answered my mistress with a most happy presence of 
 mind, " surely you are not mistaken. You acquit yourself of your 
 embassies to a marvel. I am Don Lewis Pacheco. You may retire ! 
 I will find an opportunity of sending an answer." The page van- 
 ished, and Aurora, shutting herself up with her waiting-maid and 
 me, opened the letter, and read to us follows : " I have just heard 
 of your being at Salamanca. With what joy did I receive the 
 news ! I thought I should have gone out of my senses. But do 
 you love Isabella as well as ever ? Lose no time in assuring her 
 that you are still the same. In good truth, she will almost expire 
 with pleasure when once she is assured of your constancy." 
 
 "This is a mighty passionate epistle," said Aurora. " The heart 
 that indited it has been caught in a trap. This lady is a rival of 
 no mean capacity. No pains must be spared to wean Don Lewis 
 from her, and even to prevent any future interview. The under- 
 taking is difficult, I acknowledge, and yet there seems no reason to 
 despair of the result." My mistress, taking her own hint, fell into 
 a fit of musing ; from which, having recovered as soon as she fell 
 into it, she added : " I will lay a wager they are at daggers drawn 
 in less than twenty-four hours." It so happened that Pacheco, after
 
 220 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 a short repose in his apartment, came to look after us in ours, and 
 entered once more into conversation with Aurora before supper. 
 " My dapper little knight," said he with a rakish air, " I fancy the 
 poor devils of husbands and lovers will have no reason to hug them- 
 selves on your arrival at Salamanca. You will make their hearts 
 ache for them. As for myself, I tremble for all my snug arrange- 
 ments." "I tell you what," answered my mistress with congenial 
 ~l>irit, "your fears are not without their foundation. Don Felix de 
 M'-ndoza is rather formidable, so take care what you are about. This 
 is not my first visit in this country ; the ladies hereabout, to my 
 knowledge, are made of penetrable materials. About a month ago 
 my way happened to lie through this city. I halted for eight days, 
 and you are to know . . . but you must not mention it ... that I 
 set fire to the daughter of an old doctor of laws." 
 
 It was evident enough that Don Lewis was disturbed by this de- 
 claration. " Might one without impropriety," replied he, "just ask 
 the lady's name?" "What do you mean by impropriety?" ex- 
 claimed the pretended Don Felix. " Why make any secret about 
 such a matter as that? Do you think me more of a Joseph than 
 other young noblemen of my standing? Have a better opinion of my 
 spirit. Besides, the object, between ourselves, is unworthy of any 
 great reserve, she is but a little mushroom of the lower ranks. A 
 man of fashion never quarrels with his conscience about such 
 obscure gallantries, and even thinks it an honor conferred on a 
 tradesman's wife or daughter when he leaves her without any. I' 
 shall, therefore, acquaint you in plain terms, that the name of the 
 doctor's daughter is Isabella." "And the doctor himself," inter- 
 rupted Pacheco impatiently ... "he possibly may be Signer 
 Murcia de la Liana ?" " Precisely so," replied my mistress. " Here 
 is a letter sent, me just now. Head it, and then you will see how 
 deeply your humble servant has dipped into her good graces." Don 
 Lewis just cast his eye upon the note, and recognizing the hand- 
 writing, was struck dumb with astonishment and vexation. " What 
 is the matter ?" cried Aurora, with an air of surprise, keeping up 
 the spirit of her assumed character. " You change color ! God 
 forgive me, but you are a party concerned in this young lady. Ah ! 
 plague take my officious tongue for having opened my affairs to you 
 with so much frankness." 
 
 " I am very much obliged to you for it, for my own part," said Don 
 Lewis, in a transport made up of spite and rage. " Traitress ! Jilt ! 
 My dear Don Felix, how shall I ever requite you ! You have re- 
 stored me to my senses when they were just on the wing for an 
 eternal flight. I was tickling myself into a fool's paradise of cred- 
 ulous love. But love is too cold a term to express my extravagances,
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 221 
 
 I fancied myself adored by Isabella. The creature had wormed 
 herself into my heart by feigning to give me her own. But now I 
 know her clearly for a coquette, and as such despise her as she 
 deserves. " " Your feelings on the occasion do you infinite credit," 
 said Aurora, testifying a friendly sympathy in his resentment. " A 
 plodding pettifogger's worthless brood might have gorged to surfeit 
 on the love of a young nobleman so captivating as yourself. Her 
 fickleness is inexcusable. So far from taking her sacrifice of you in 
 good part, it is my determination to punish her by the keenest con- 
 tempt." "As for me," rejoined Pacheco, " I shall never set eyes on 
 her again ; and if that is not revenge, the devil is in it." " You are 
 in the right," exclaimed our masquerading Mendoza. "At the same 
 time, that she may fully understand how ineffably we both disdain 
 her, I vote for sitting down, each of us, and writing her a sarcastic 
 farewell. They shall be enclosed in one cover, and serve as an 
 answer to her own letter. But do not let us proceed to this ex- 
 tremity till you have examined your heart. It may be you will 
 repent hereafter having broken off with Isabella." " No, no," inter- 
 rupted Don Lewis : " I am not such a fool as that comes to ; let it 
 be a bargain, and we will mortify the ungrateful wretch as you 
 propose." 
 
 I immediately sent for pen, ink, and paper, when they sat them- 
 selves down at opposite corners of the table, and drew up a most 
 tender bill of indictment against Dr. Murcia de la Liana's daughter. 
 Pacheco, in particular, was at a loss for language forcible enough to 
 convey his sentiments in all their acrimony ; away went exordium 
 after exordium, to the tearing and maiming of five or six fair 
 sheets, before the words looked crooked enough to please his jealous 
 eyes. At length, however, he produced an epistle which came up 
 with his most tragical conceptions. It ran thus : " Self-knowledge 
 is a leading branch of wisdom, my little philosopher. As a candi- 
 date for a professor's chair, lay aside the vanity of fancying yourself 
 amiable. It requires merit of a far different compass to fix my 
 affections. You have not enough of the woman about you to afford 
 me even a temporary amusement. Yet do not despair ; you have a 
 sphere of your own ; the beggarly servitors in our university have a 
 keen appetite, but no very distinguishing palate." So much for this 
 elegant epistle ! When Aurora had finished hers, which rang the 
 changes on similar topics, she sealed them, wrapped them up 
 together, and giving me the packet, " There, Gil Bias," said she, 
 " take care that comes to Isabella's hands this very evening. You 
 comprehend me ?" added she, with a glance from the corner of her 
 eye which admitted of no doubtful construction. "Yes, my lord," 
 answered I, " your commands shall be executed to a tittle."
 
 222 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 I lost no time in taking my departure. I was no sooner in the 
 street than I said to myself, " So ho ! Master Gil Bias, your part, 
 then, is that of the intriguing footman in this comedy. Well, so be 
 it, my friend ; show that you have wit and sense enough to top it 
 over the favorite actor of the day. Signer Don Felix thinks a wink 
 as good as a nod a high compliment to the quickness of your appre- 
 hension ! Is he, then, in an error? No. His hint is as clear as day- 
 light. Don Lewis's letter is to drop its companion by the way. A 
 lucid exposition of a dark hieroglyphic, enough to shame the dullness 
 of the commentators." The sacredness of a seal could never stand 
 against this bright discovery. Out came the single letter of Pa- 
 checo, and away went I to hunt after Doctor Murcia's abode. At 
 the very threshold, whom should I meet but the little page who had 
 been at our lodging. " Comrade," said I, " do not you happen to 
 live with the great lawyer's daughter?" His answer was in the 
 affirmative. " I see by your countenance," resumed I, " that you 
 know the ways of the world. May I beg the favor of you to slip 
 this little memorandum into your mistress's hand ?" 
 
 The little page asked me on whose behalf I was a messenger. The 
 name of Don Lewis Pacheco had no sooner escaped my lips than he 
 said to me, " Since that is the case, follow me ; I have orders to 
 show you up ; Isabella wants to confer with you." I was introduced 
 at once into a private apartment, where it was not long before the 
 lady herself made her appearance. The beauty of her face was in- 
 expressibly striking; I do not recollect to have seen more lovely 
 features. Her manner was somewhat mincing and infantine, and 
 yet for all that it had been thirty good years, at least, since she had 
 mewled and puked in her nurse's arms. " My friend," said she, 
 with an encouraging smile, " are you on Don Lewis Pacheco's estab- 
 lishment?" I told her I had been in office for three weeks. With 
 this I fired off my paper popgun against her peace. She read it over 
 two or three times, but if she had rubbed her eyes till doomsday, she 
 would have seen no clearer. In point of fact, nothing could be more 
 unexpected than so cavalier an answer. Up went her eyes towards 
 the heavens, appealing to their rival luminaries. The ivory fences 
 of her pretty mouth committed alternate trespass on her soft and 
 suffering lips, and her whole physiognomy bore witness to the pangs 
 of her distressed and disappointed heart. Then, coming to herself 
 a little, and recovering her speech, " My friend," said she, " has Don 
 Lewis taken leave of his senses? Tell me, if you can, his motive for 
 so heroic an epistle. If he is tired of me, well and good, but he 
 might have taken his leave like a gentleman." 
 
 " Madam," said I, " my master most assuredly has not acted as I 
 should have Ucted in his place. But he has in some sort been com-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS, 223 
 
 pelled to do as he has done. If you would give me your word to 
 keep the secret, I could unravel the whole mystery." " You have 
 it at once," interrupted she with eagerness ; " depend on it you 
 shall be brought into no scrape by me ; therefore, explain yourself 
 without reserve." " Well, then," replied I, " the fact is, without 
 paraphrase, circumlocution, loss of time, or perplexity of under- 
 standing, as I shall distinctly state in two short words. Not half a 
 minute after the receipt of your letter, there came into our house a 
 lady, under a veil as impenetrable as the purpose was dark. She 
 inquired for Signer Pacheco, and talked with him in private for 
 some time. At the close of the conversation, I overheard her saying 
 'You swear to me never to see her more; but we must not stop 
 there : to set my heart completely at rest, you must instantly write 
 her a farewell letter of my dictating. You know my terms.' Don 
 Lewis did as she desired ; then, giving the result into my custody, 
 'Acquaint yourself,' said he, 'where Doctor Murcia de la Liana 
 lives, and try to administer this love potion to his daughter 
 Isabella.' 
 
 " You see plainly, madam," pursued I, " that this uncivil epistle 
 is a rival's handiwork, and that, consequently, my master is not so 
 much to blame as he appears." " Oh, heaven !" exclaimed she, " he 
 is more so than I was aware of. His words might have been the 
 error of his hand, but his infidelity is the offence of his heart. 
 Faithless man ! Now he is held by other ties. . . . But," added she, 
 assuming an air of disdain, "let him devote himself unconstrained 
 to his new passion ; I shall never cross him. Tell him, however, 
 that he need not have insulted me. I should have left the course 
 open to my rival, without his warning me from the field ; for so 
 fickle a lover has not soul enough about him to pay for the degrada- 
 tion of soliciting his return." With this sentiment she gave me 
 my dismissal, and retired in a whirlwind of passion against Don 
 Lewis. 
 
 My exit was conducted entirely to my own satisfaction, for I con- 
 ceived that with due cultivation of my talent I might in time 
 become a consummate hypocrite and most successful cheat. I re- 
 turned home on the strength of it, where I found my worthy master 
 Mendoza and Pacheco supping together, and rattling away as if 
 they had been playfellows from their cradles. Aurora saw at once, 
 by my self-sufficient air, that her commission had not boen neglected 
 in my hands. "Here you are again, then, Gil Bias," said she; 
 "give us an account of your embassy." Wit and invention was all 
 I had to trust to, so I told them I had delivered the packet into 
 Isabella's own hands, who, after having glanced over the contents 
 of the two letters, so far from seeming disconcerted, burst into a fit
 
 224 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 of laughter, as if she had been mad, and said, " Upon my word, our 
 young men of fashion write in a pretty style. It must be owned 
 they are much more entertaining than scribes of plebeian rank." 
 " It was a very good way of getting out of the scrape," exclaimed 
 my mistress ; " she must be an arrant coquette." " For my part," 
 said Don Lewis, " I cannot trace a feature of Isabella in this con- 
 duct. Her character must have been completely metamorphosed in 
 my absence." "She struck me, too, in a very different light," 
 replied Aurora. " It must be allowed some women can assume all 
 modes and fashions at will. I was once in love with one of that 
 description, and a fine dance she led me. Gil Bias, can you tell the 
 whole story ? She had an air of propriety about her which might 
 have imposed upon a whole synod of old maids." " It is true," said 
 I, putting in my oar ; " it was a face to play the devil with a sworn 
 bachelor : I could scarcely have been proof against it myself." 
 
 The personated Mendoza and Pacheco shouted with laughter at 
 my manner of expressing myself; the one for the false witness I 
 bore against a culprit of my own creation ; the other laughed simply 
 at the phrase in which my anathema was couched. We went on 
 talking about the versatility of women ; and the verdict, after hear- 
 ing the evidence, all on one side, was given against Isabella a 
 convicted coquette ! and sentence passed on her accordingly. Don 
 Lewis made a fresh vow never to see her more, and Don Felix, after 
 his example, swore to hold her in eternal abhorrence. By dint of 
 these mutual protestations, a sort of friendship was established on 
 the spur of the occasion, and they promised on both sides to keep 
 no secrets from each other. The time after supper passed in ingra- 
 tiating intercourse, and the time seemed short till they retired to 
 their separate apartments. I followed Aurora to hers, where I gave 
 her a faithful account of my conversation with the doctor's daughter, 
 not forgetting the most trivial circumstance. She had much ado to 
 help kissing me for joy. " My dear Gil Bias," said she, " I am 
 delighted with your spirit. When one has the misfortune to be en- 
 gaged in a passion not to be gratified but by stratagems, what an 
 advantage is it to secure on the right side a lad of so enterprising a 
 genius as yourslf. Courage, my friend ! we have thrown a rival into 
 the back ground, whose presence in the scene might have marred 
 our comedy. So far, all is well. But as lovers are subject to strange 
 vagaries, it seems to me that we must make short work of it, and 
 bring Aurora de Guzman on the stage to-morrow." The idea met 
 with my entire approbation ; so, leaving Signor Don Felix with his 
 page, I withdrew to bed in an adjoining closet.
 
 THE SUPPER. 
 
 p. 224.

 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAH. 225 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 ATTOORA'S DEVICES TO SECURE DON LEWIS PACHECO'S AFFECTIONS. 
 
 THE two new friends met as soon as they came down in the 
 morning. The ceremonies of the day began with reciprocal em- 
 braces, about which it was impossible for Aurora to be squeamish, 
 for then Don Felix must have dropped the mask altogether. They 
 went out and walked about town arm in arm, attended by Chilin- 
 dron, Don Lewis's footman, and myself. We loitered about the gates 
 of the university, looking at some posting-bills and advertisements 
 of new publications. There were a good many people amusing 
 themselves, like us, with reading over the contents of these placards. 
 Among the rest, my eye was caught by a little fellow who was 
 giving his opinion very learnedly on the works exposed for sale. 
 I observed him to be heard with profound attention, and could not 
 help remarking how amply he deserved it in his -own opinion. He 
 was evidently a complete coxcomb, of an arrogant and dictatorial 
 stamp, the common curse of your gentry under size. " This new 
 translation of Horace," said he, " announced here to the public in 
 letters of a yard long, is a prose work, executed by an old college 
 author. The students have taken a great fancy to the book, so as 
 to carry off four editions ; but not a copy has been bought by any 
 man of taste !" His criticisms were scarcely more candid on any of 
 the other books : he mauled them every one without mercy. It was 
 easy enough to see he was an author I I should not have been sorry 
 to have staid out his harangue, but Don Lewis and Don Felix were 
 not to be left in the lurch. Now, they took as little pleasure in this 
 gentleman's remarks as they felt interest in the books which he 
 was Scaligerizing, so that they took a quiet leave of him and the 
 university. 
 
 We returned home at dinner-time. My mistress sat down at 
 table with Pacheco, and dexterously turned the conversation on 
 her private concerns. " My father," said she, " is a younger branch 
 of the Mendoza family, settled at Toledo, and my mother is own 
 sister to Donna Kimena de Guzman, who came to Salamanca so'me 
 days ago on an affair of business, with her niece Aurora, only 
 daughter of Don Vincent de Guzman, whom possibly you might 
 be acquainted with." " No," answered Don Lewis ; " but I have 
 often heard of him, as well as of your cousin Aurora. Is it true 
 what they say of her? Her wit and beauty are reported to be un- 
 rivalled." "As for wit," replied Don Felix, "she certainly is not 
 wanting, for she has taken great pains to cultivate her mind ; but 
 15
 
 226 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 her beauty is by no means to be boasted of indeed we are thought 
 to be very much alike." " If that is the case," exclaimed Pacheco, 
 " she cannot be behindhand with her reputation. Your features are 
 regular, your complexion almost too fine for a man : your cousin 
 must be an absolute enchantress. I should like to see and converse 
 with her." " That you shall, if I have any interest in the family, 
 and this very day, too," replied the little Proteus of a Mendoza. 
 " We will go and see my aunt after dinner." 
 
 My mistress took the first opportunity of changing the topic and 
 conversing on indifferent subjects. In the afternoon, while the two 
 friends were getting ready to go and call on Donna Kimena, I 
 played the scout, and ran before to prepare the duenna for her visit- 
 ors. But there was no time to be lost on my return, for Don Felix 
 was waiting for me to attend Don Lewis and him on their way to 
 his aunt's. No sooner had they stepped over the threshold than 
 they were encountered by the adroit old lady, making signs to them 
 to walk as softly as possible. " Hush ! hush !" said she, in a low 
 voice ; " you will waken my niece. Ever since yesterday she has 
 had a dreadful headache, but is just now a little better ; and the 
 poor girl has been taking a little sleep for the last quarter of an 
 hour." " I am sorry for this unlucky accident," said Mendoza ; " I 
 was in hopes we should have seen our cousin ; besides, I meant to 
 have introduced my friend Pacheco." "There is no such great 
 hurry on that account," answered Ortiz, with a significant smile; 
 " and if that is all, you may defer it till to-morrow." The gentle- 
 men did not trouble the old lady with a long visit, but took their 
 leave as soon as they decently could. 
 
 Don Lewis took us to see a young gentleman of his acquaintance, 
 by name Don Gabriel de Pedros. There we staid the remainder of 
 the day, and took our suppers. About two o'clock in the morning 
 we sallied forth on our return home. We had got about half way, 
 when we stumbled against something on the ground, and discovered 
 two men stretched at their length in the street. We concluded they 
 had fallen under the knife of the assassin, and stopped to assist 
 them, if yet within reach of assistance. As we were looking about 
 to inform ourselves of their condition as nearly as the darkness of 
 the 1 night would allow, the patrol came up. The officer took us at 
 first for the murderers, and ordered his people to surround us ; but 
 he mended his opinion of us on the sound of our voices, and by 
 favor of a dark lantern held up to the face of Mendoza and Pacheco. 
 His myrmidons, by his direction, examined the two men, whom our 
 fancies had painted as in the agonies of death ; but it turned out to 
 be a fat licentiate with his servant, both of them overtaken in their 
 cups, and not dead, but dead drunk. " Gentlemen," exclaimed one
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 227 
 
 of the posse, " this jolly fellow is an acquaintance of mine. What ! 
 do you not know Signer Guyomer the licentiate, head of our uni- 
 versity ? With all his imperfections he is a great character a man 
 of superior genius. He is as staunch as a hound at a philosophical 
 dispute, and his words flow like a gutter after a hailstorm. He has 
 but three foibles in which he indulges : intoxication, litigation, and 
 fornication. He is now returning from supper at his Isabella's, 
 whence, the more is the pity, the drunk was leading the drunk, and 
 they both fell into the kennel. Before the good licentiate came to 
 the headship this happened continually. Though manners make 
 the man, honors, you perceive, do not always mend the manners." 
 We left these drunkards in custody of the patrol, who carried them 
 safe home, and betook ourselves to our lodging and our beds. 
 
 Don Felix and Don Lewis were stirring about mid-day. Aurora 
 de Guzman was the first topic of their conversation. " Gil Bias," 
 said my mistress to me, " run to my aunt, Donna Kimena, and ask 
 if there is any admission for Signor Pacheco and me to-day, we 
 want to see my cousin." Off I went to acquit myself of this com- 
 mission, or rather to concert the plan of the campaign with the 
 duenna. We had no sooner laid our heads together to the purpose 
 intended, than I was once more at the elbow of the false Mendoza. 
 "Sir," quoth I, "your cousin Aurora has got about wonderfully. 
 She enjoined me from her own lips to acquaint you that your visit 
 could not be otherwise than highly acceptable, and Donna Kimena 
 desired me to assure Signor Pacheco that any friend of yours would 
 always meet with a hospitable reception." 
 
 These last words evidently tickled Don Lewis's fancy. My mis- 
 tress saw that the bait was swallowed, and prepared herself to haul 
 the prey to shore. Just before dinner, a servant made his appear- 
 ance from Signora Kimena, and said to Don Felix, " My lord, a man 
 from Toledo has been inquiring after you, and has left this note at 
 your aunt's house." The pretended Mendoza opened it, and read 
 the contents aloud to the following effect: "If your father and 
 family still live in your remembrance, and you wish to hear of 
 their concerns, do not fail, on the receipt of this, to call at the 
 Black Horse, near the university." " I am too much interested," 
 said he, " in these proffered communications, not to satisfy my curi- 
 osity at once. Without ceremony, Pacheco, you must excuse me for 
 the present ; if I am not back again here within two hours, you may 
 find your way by yourself to my aunt's ; I will join the party in the 
 evening. You recollect Gil Bias' message from Donna Kimena; 
 the visit is no more than what will be expected from you." After 
 having thrown out this hint, he left the room, and ordered me to 
 follow him.
 
 228 ADVENTURES OF GIL DLAS. 
 
 It can scarcely be necessary to apprise the reader, that instead of 
 marching down to the Black Horse, we filed off to our other quar- 
 ters. The moment that we got within doors, Aurora tore off her 
 artificial hair, washed the charcoal from her eyebrows, resumed her 
 female attire, and shone in all her natural charms, a lovely, dark- 
 complexioned girl. So complete, indeed, had been her disguise that 
 Aurora and Don Felix could never have been suspected of identity. 
 The lady seemed to have the advantage of the gentleman even in 
 stature, thanks tcf a good pair of high heels, to which she was not a 
 little indebted. It was her first business to heighten her personal 
 graces with all the embellishments of art; after which she looked 
 out for Don Lewis, in a state of agitation, compounded of fear and 
 hope. One instant she felt confident in her wit and beauty ; the 
 next, she anticipated the failure of her attempt. Ortiz, on her part, 
 set her best foot foremost, and was determined to play up to my 
 mistress. As for me, Pacheco was not to see my knave's face till 
 the last act of the farce, for which the great actors are always re- 
 served, to unravel the intricacy of the plot.; so I went out immedi- 
 ately after dinner. 
 
 In short, the puppet-show was all adjusted against Don Lewis's 
 arrival. He experienced a very gracious reception from the old 
 lady, in amends for whose tediousness he was blessed with two or 
 three hours of Aurora's delightful conversation. When they had 
 been together long enough, in popped I, with a message to the 
 enamored spark. . " My lord, my master Don Felix begs you ten 
 thousand pardons, but he cannot have the pleasure of waiting on 
 you here this evening. He is with three men of Toledo, from whom 
 he cannot possibly get away." " Oh, the wicked little rogue," ex- 
 claimed Donna Kimena ; " as sure as a gun, then, he is going to 
 make a night of it." " No, madam," replied I, " they are deeply 
 engaged in very serious business. He is really distressed that he 
 cannot pay his respects, and commissioned me to say everything 
 proper to your ladyship and Donna Aurora." " Oh ! I will have 
 none of his excuses," pouted out my mistress ; " he knows very well 
 that I have been indisposed, and might show some slight degree of 
 feeling for so near a relation. As a punishment, he shall not come 
 near me for this fortnight." " Nay, madam," interposed Don Lewis, 
 "such a sentence is too severe. Don Felix's fate is but too pitiable, 
 in having been deprived of your society this evening." 
 
 They bandied about their fine speeches on these little topics of 
 gallantry for some time, and then Pacheco withdrew. The lovely 
 Aurora metamorphosed herself in a twinkling, and resumed her 
 swashing outside. The grass did not grow under her feet while she 
 was running to the other lodging. " I have a million apologies to
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 229 
 
 make, my dear friend," said she to Don Lewis, " for not giving you 
 the meeting at my aunt's ; but there was no getting rid of the tire- 
 some people I was with. However, there is one comfort, you have 
 had so much the more leisure to look about you and criticise my 
 cousin's beauty. Well, and how do you like her?" "She is a 
 most lovely creature," answered Pacheco. " You were in {he right 
 to claim a resemblance to her. I never saw more correspondent 
 features : the very same cast of countenance, the eyes exactly alike, 
 the mouth evidently a family feature, and the tone of voice scarcely 
 to be distinguished. The likeness, however, goes no further, for 
 Aurora is taller than you, she is brown and you are fair, you are a 
 jolly fellow, she has a little touch of the demure ; so that you are 
 not altogether the male and female Sosias. As for good sense," 
 continued he, " if an angel from heaven were to whisper wisdom 
 in one ear, and your cousin her mortal chit-chat in the other, I am 
 afraid the angel might whistle for an audience. In a word, Aurora 
 is all-accomplished." 
 
 Signor Pacheco uttered these last words with so earnest an ex- 
 pression, that Don Felix said with a smile : " My friend, I advise 
 you to stay away from Donna Kimena's ; it will be more for your 
 peace of mind. Aurora de Guzman may set your wits a wandering, 
 and inspire a passion." . . . 
 
 " I have no need of seeing her again," interrupted he, " to become 
 distractedly enamored of her." " I am sorry for you," replied the 
 pretended Mendoza, " for you are not a man to be seriously caught, 
 and my cousin is not to be made a fool of, take my word for it. She 
 would never encourage a lover whose designs were otherwise than 
 honorable." "Otherwise than honorable!" retorted Don Lewis; 
 " who could have the audacity to form such on a lady of her rank 
 and character ? As for me, I should esteem myself the happiest of 
 mankind, could she be prevailed on to favor my addresses, and link 
 her fate with mine." 
 
 "Since those are your sentiments," rejoined Don Felix, "you 
 may command my services. Yes, I will go heart and hand with 
 you in the business. All my interests in Aurora shall be yours, 
 and by to-morrow morning I will commence an attack on my aunt, 
 whose good word has more influence than you may think." Pacheco 
 returned his thanks with the best air possible to this young go- 
 between, and we were all agog at the promising appearance of our 
 stratagem. On the following day we found the means of heighten- 
 ing the dramatic effect by entangling the plot a little more. My 
 mistress, after having waited on Donna Kimena, as if to speak a 
 good word in favor of the suitor, came back with the result of the 
 interview. " I have spoken to my aunt," said she, " but it was a
 
 230 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 much as I could do to make her hear your proposal with patience. 
 She was primed and loaded against you. Some good-natured friend 
 in the dark has painted you out for a reprobate ; but I took your 
 part with some little quickness, and at length succeeded in vin- 
 dicating your moral character from the attack it had sustained. 
 This is not all," continued Aurora. " You had better enter on the 
 subject with my aunt in my presence; we shall be able to make 
 something of her between us." Pacheco was all impatience to in- 
 sinuate himself into the good graces of Donna Kimena ; nor was the 
 opportunity deferred beyond the next morning. Our amphibious 
 Mendoza escorted him into the presence of Dame Ortiz, where such 
 a conversation passed between the trio as put fire and tow to the 
 combustible heart of Don Lewis. Kimena, a veteran performer, 
 took the cue of sympathy at every expression of tenderness, and 
 promised the enamored youth that it should not be her fault if 
 his plea with her niece was urged in vain. Pacheco threw himself 
 at the feet of so good an aunt, and thanked her for all her favors. 
 In this stage of the business Don Felix asked if his cousin was up. 
 " No," replied the duenna, " she is still in bed, and is not likely to 
 be down stairs while you stay ; but call again after dinner, and you 
 shall have a tele-d-tete with her to your heart's content." It is easy 
 to imagine that so coming on a proposal from the dragon which was 
 to guard this inaccessible treasure, produced its full complement of 
 joy in the heart of Don Lewis. The remainder of the long morning 
 had nothing to do but to be sworn at ! He went back to his own 
 lodging with Mendoza, who was not a little enraptured to observe, 
 with the scrutinizing eye of a mistress under the disguise of a friend, 
 all the symptoms of an incurable amorous infirmity. 
 
 Their tongues ran on no earthly subject but Aurora. When they 
 had done dinner, Don Felix said to Pacheco: "A thought has just 
 struck me. It would not be amiss for me to go to my aunt's a few 
 minutes before you; I will get to speak to my cousin in private, 
 and pry, if it be possible, into every fold and winding of her heart, 
 as far as your interests are concerned." Don Lewis just chimed in 
 with this idea, so that he suffered his friend to set out first, and did 
 not follow him till an hour afterwards. My mistress availed hersel' 
 so diligently of the interval, that she was tricked out as a lady from 
 heel to point before the arrival of her lover. " I beg pardon," said 
 the poor abused inamorato, after having paid his compliments to 
 Aurora and the duenna, " I took it for granted Don Felix would be 
 here." "You will see him in a few seconds," answered Donna 
 Kimena; "he is writing in my closet." Pacheco was easily put off 
 with the excuse, and found his time pass cheerfully in conversation 
 with the ladies. And yet, notwithstanding the presence of all his
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 231 
 
 soul held dear, it seemed very strange that hour after hour glided 
 away but 110 Mendoza stepped forth from the closet ! He could not 
 help remarking, that the gentleman's correspondence must be un- 
 usually voluminous, when Aurora's features all at once assumed the 
 broader contour of a laugh, with a delightfully provoking question 
 to Don Lewis : " Is it possible that love can be so blind as not to 
 detect the glaring imposition by which it has been deluded ? Has 
 my real self made so faint an impression on your senses, that a 
 flaxen peruke and a pencilled eyebrow could carry the farce to such 
 a height as this? But the masquerade is over now, Pacheco," con- 
 tinued she, resuming an air of gravity ; "you are to learn that Don 
 Felix de Mendoza and Aurora de Guzman are but one and the same 
 person." 
 
 It was not enough to discover to him all the springs and contri- 
 vances by which he had been duped ; she confessed the motives of 
 tender partiality that led her to the attempt, and detailed the pro- 
 gress of the plot to the winding up of the catastrophe. Don Lewis 
 scarcely knew whether to be most astonished or delighted at the 
 recital ; at my mistress's feet he thus uttered the transports of hia 
 fond applause: "Ah! lovely Aurora, can I believe myself indeed 
 the happy mortal on whom your favors have been so lavished? 
 What can I do to make you amends for them? My affection, were 
 this life eternal, could scarcely pay the price." These pretty 
 speeches were followed by a thousand others of the same quality 
 and texture; after which, the lovers descended a little nearer to 
 common sense, and began planning the rational and human means 
 of arriving at the accomplishment of their wishes. It was resolved 
 that we should set out without loss of time for Madrid, where mar- 
 riage was to drop the curtain on the last act of our comedy. This 
 purpose was executed in the spirit of impatience which conceived 
 it, so that Don Lewis was united to my mistress in a fortnight, and 
 the nuptial ceremonies were graced with the usual accompaniments 
 of music, feasting, balls, and rejoicings, without either end or respite.
 
 232 A D VENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 GIL BLAS LEAVES HIS PLACE AND GOES INTO THE SERVICE OF DON 
 GONZALES PACHECO. 
 
 f I THREE weeks after marriage, my mistress bethought herself of 
 JL. -rewarding the services I had rendered her. She made me a 
 present of a hundred pistoles, saying to me at the same time: "Gil 
 Bias, my good fellow, it is not that I mean to turn you away, for 
 you have my free leave to stay here as long as you please ; but my 
 husband has an uncle, Don Gonzales Pacheco, who wants you very 
 much for a valet de chambre. I have given you so excellent a 
 character, that he would let me have no peace until I consented to 
 part with you. He is a very worthy old nobleman, so that you will 
 be quite in your element in his family." 
 
 I thanked Aurora for all her kindness, and, as my occupation was 
 over about her, I so much the more readily accepted the post that 
 offered, as it was merely a transfer from one branch of the Pachecoa 
 to another. One morning, therefore, I called on the illustrious Don 
 Gonzales with a message from the bride. He ought at least to have 
 overslept himself, for he was in bed at near noon. When I went 
 into his chamber, a page had just brought him a basin of soup, 
 which he was taking. The dotard cherished his whiskers, or rather 
 tortured them with curling-papers ; though his eyes were sunk in 
 their sockets, his complexion pale, and his visage emaciated. This 
 was one of those old codgers who have been a little whimsical or so 
 in their youth, and have made poor amends for their freedoms by 
 the discretion of their riper age. His reception of me was affable 
 enough, with an assurance that if my attachment to him kept pace 
 with my fidelity to his niece, my condition should not be worse than 
 that of my fellows. I promised to place him in my late mistress's 
 shoes, and became the working partner in a new firm. 
 
 A new firm it undoubtedly was, and heaven knows we had a 
 strange head of the house. The resurrection of Lazarus was an 
 ordinary event compared to his getting up. Imagine to yourself a 
 long bag of dry bones, a mere skeleton, a dissection, an anatomy of 
 a man, a study in osteology ! AS for the legs, three or four pairs of 
 stockings, one over the other, had no room to make any figure upon 
 them. In addition to the foregoing, this mummy before death was 
 asthmatic, and therefore obliged to divide the little breath he had 
 between his cough and his loquacity. He breakfasted on chocolate. 
 On the strength of that refreshment, he ventured to call for pen, ink, 
 and paper, and to write a short note, which he sealed and sent to its
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 233 
 
 address by the page who had administered the broth. " But this 
 henceforth will be your office, my good lad," said he aa he turned 
 his haggard eyes upon me ; " all my little concerns will be in your 
 hands, and especially those in which Donna Euphrasia takes an 
 interest. That lady is an enchanting young creature, with whom I 
 am distractedly in love, and by whom, though I say it, who should 
 not say it, I am met with all the mutual ardor of inextinguishable 
 and unutterable passion." 
 
 "Heaven defend us!" thought I, within myself: "good now! if 
 this old antidote to rapture can fancy himself an object on which 
 the fair should waste their sweets, is it any wonder that among our 
 young folks each fancies himself the Adonis, for whom every Venus 
 pines ?" " Gil Bias," pursued he, with a chuckle, " this very day will 
 I take you to this abode of pleasure : it is my house of call almost 
 every evening for a bit of supper. You will be quite petrified at her 
 modest appearance, and the rigid propriety of her behavior. Far 
 from taking after those little wanton vagrants, who are hey-go mad 
 after striplings, and give themselves up to the fascinations of ex- 
 terior appearance, she has a proper insight into things, staid, ripe, 
 and judicious : what she wants is the bond fide spirit and discretion 
 of a man ; a lover who has served an apprenticeship to his trade, in 
 preference to all the flashy fellows of the modern school." This is 
 but an epitome of the panegyric which the noble duke Don Gon- 
 zales pronounced upon his mistress. He burdened himself with the 
 task of proving her a compendium of all human perfection ; but the 
 lecture was little calculated for the conviction of the hearer. I had 
 attended an experimental course among the actresses ; and had 
 always found that the elderly candidates had been plucked in their 
 amours. Yet, as a matter of courtesy, it was impossible not to put 
 on the semblance of giving implicit credit to my master's veracity ; 
 I even added chivalry to courtesy, and threw down my glove on 
 Euphrasia's penetration and the correctness of her taste. My im- 
 pudence went the length of asserting, that it was impossible for her 
 to have selected a better provided crony. The grown-up simpleton 
 was not aware that I was fumigating his nostrils at the expense of 
 his addled brain ; on the contrary, he bristled at my praises ; so true 
 ia it, that a flatterer may play what game he likes against the 
 pigeons of high life ! They let you look over their hand, and then 
 wonder that you beat them 
 
 The old crawler, having scribbled through his billet-doux, re- 
 strained the luxuriance of a straggling hair or two with his tweezers ; 
 then bathed his eyes in the nostrum of some perfumer to give them 
 a brilliancy which their natural gum would have eclipsed. His ears 
 were to be picked and washed, and his hands to be cleansed from
 
 234 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 the effects of his other ablutions ; and the labors of the toilet wore 
 to be closed by pencilling every remaining hair in the disforested 
 domain of his whiskers, pericranium, and eyebrows. No old dow- 
 ager, with a purse to buy a second husband, ever took more pains 
 to assure herself, by the cultivation of her charms, that the person, 
 and not the fortune^ should be the object of attraction. The assassin 
 stab of time was parried by the quart and tierce of art. Just as he 
 had done making himself up, in came another old fogram of his 
 acquaintance, by name the Count of Asumar. This genius made 
 no secret of his gray locks ; leaned upon a stick, and seemed to 
 plume himself on his venerable age, instead of wishing to appear in 
 the heydey of his prime. " Signer Pacheco," said he as he came 
 in, "I am come to take pot-luck with you to-day." "You are 
 always welcome, count," rejoined my master. No sooner said than 
 done! they embraced with a thousand grimaces, took their seats 
 opposite to one another, and began chatting till dinner was served. 
 
 Their conversation turned at first upon a bull-feast which had 
 taken place a few days before. They talked about the cavaliers, and 
 who among them had displayed most dexterity and vigor ; where- 
 upon the old count, like another Nestor, whom present events fur- 
 nished with a topic of expatiating on the past, said, with a deep- 
 drawn sigh : "Alas! where will you meet with men, nowadays, fit to 
 hold a candle to my contemporaries? The public diversions are a 
 mere bauble to what they were when I was a young man." I could 
 not help chuckling in my sleeve at my good lord of Asumar's whim ; 
 for he did not stop at the handiwork of human invention. Would 
 you believe it? At table, when the fruit was brought in, at the 
 sight of some very fine peaches^ this ungrateful consumer of the 
 earth's produce exclaimed : " In my time, the peaches were of a 
 much larger size than they are now ; but nature sinks lower and 
 lower from day to day." " If that is the case," said Don Gonzales 
 with a sneer, "Adam's hot-house fruit must have been of a most 
 unwieldy circumference." 
 
 The count of Asumar stayed till quite evening with my master, 
 who had no sooner got rid of him, than he sallied forth with me in 
 his train. We went to Euphrasia's, who lived within a stone's 
 throw of our house, and found her lodged in a style of the first 
 elegance. She was tastefully dressed, and for the youthfulness of 
 her air might have been taken to be in her teens, though thirty 
 bonny summers at least had poured their harvests in her lap. She 
 had often been reckoned pretty, and her wit was exquisite. Neither 
 was she one of your brazen-faced jilts, with nothing but flimsy bal- 
 derdash in their talk, and a libertine forwardness in their manners : 
 here was modesty of carriage as well as propriety of discourse; and
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 235 
 
 ehe threw out her little sallies in the most exquisite manner, with- 
 out seeming to aspire beyond natural good sense. " Oh ! heaven I" 
 said I, "is it possible that a creature of so virtuous a stamp by 
 nature should have abandoned herself to vicious courses for a live- 
 lihood ?" I had taken it for granted, that all women of light char- 
 acter carried the mark of the beast upon their foreheads. It was a 
 surprise therefore to see such apparent rectitude of conduct ; neither 
 did it occur to me that these hacks for all customers could go at any 
 pace, and assume the polish of well-bred society, to impose upon 
 their cullies of the higher ranks. What if a lively petulance should 
 be the order of the day? they are lively and petulant. Should 
 modesty take its turn in the round of fashion, nothing can exceed 
 their outward show of prudent and delicate reserve. They play 
 the comedy of love in many masks ; and are the prude, the co- 
 quette, or the virago, as they fall in with the quiz, the coxcomb, or 
 the bully. 
 
 Don Gonzales was a gentleman and a man of taste ; he could not 
 stomach those beauties who call a spade, a spade. Such were not 
 for his market ; the rites of Venus must be consummated in the 
 temple of Vesta. Euphrasia had got up her part accordingly, and 
 proved by her performance that there is no comedy like that of 
 real life. I left my master, like another Numa with his Egeria, and 
 went down into a hall, where whom should fortune throw in my 
 way but an old abigail whom I had formerly known as maid-of-all- 
 work to an actress. The recognition was mutual. " So 1 well met 
 once more, Signer Gil Bias," said she. " Then you have turned off 
 Arsenia, just as I have parted with Constance." "Yes, truly," 
 answered I, " it is a long while ago since I went away, and ex- 
 changed her service for that of a very different lady. Neither the 
 theatre nor the people about it are to my taste. I gave myself my 
 own discharge, without condescending to the slightest explanation 
 with Arsenia." " You were perfectly in the right," replied the 
 new-found abigail, called Beatrice. " That was pretty much my 
 method of proceeding with Constance. One morning early, I gave 
 in my accounts with a very sulky air ; she took them from me in 
 moody silence, and we parted in a sort of well-bred dudgeon." 
 
 " I am quite delighted," said I, " that we have met again, where 
 we need not be ashamed of our employers. Donna Euphrasia looks 
 for all the world like a woman of fashion, and I am much deceived 
 if she has not reputation too." " You are too clear-sighted to be 
 deceived," answered the old appendage to sin. ''She is of a good 
 family; and as for her temper, I can assure you it is unparalleled 
 for evenness and sweetness. None of your termagant mistresses, 
 never to be pleased, but always grumbling and scolding about
 
 236 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 everything, making the house ring with their clack, and fretting 
 poor servants to a thread, whose places, in short, are a hell upon 
 earth I I have not in all this time heard her raise her voice on any 
 occasion whatever. When things happen not to be done exactly in 
 her way, she sets them to rights without any anger, nor does any of 
 that bad language escape her lips, of which some high-spirited ladies 
 are so liberal." "My master, too," rejoined I, "is very mild in his 
 disposition ; the very milk of human kindm ss ; and in this respect 
 we are, between ourselves, much better off than when we lived 
 among the actresses." "A thousand times better," replied Beatrice; 
 " my life used to be all bustle and distraction ; but this place is an 
 actual hermitage. Not a creature darkens our doors but this excel- 
 lent Don Gonzales. You will be my only helpmate in my solitude, 
 and my lot is but too greatly blessed. For this long time have I 
 cherished an affection for you ; and many a time and oft have I be- 
 grudged that Laura the felicity of engrossing you for her sweetheart; 
 but in the end I hope to be even with her. If I cannot boast of 
 youth and beauty like hers, to balance the account, I detest co- 
 quetry, and have all the constancy as well as affection of a turtle- 
 dove." 
 
 As honest Beatrice was one of those ladies who are obliged to 
 hawk their wares, and cheapen themselves for want of cheapeners 
 in the market, I was happily shielded from any temptation to break 
 the commandments. Nevertheless, it might not have been prudent 
 to let her see in what contempt her charms were held : for which 
 reason I forced my natural politeness so far, as to talk to her in a 
 style not to cut off all hope of my more serious advances. I flattered 
 myself then that I had found favor in the eyes of an old dresser to 
 the stage ; but pride was destined to have a fall, even on so humble 
 an occasion. The domestic trickster did not sharpen her allure- 
 ments from any longing for my pretty person ; her design in subdu- 
 ing me to the little soft god was to enlist me for the purposes of her 
 mistress, to whom she had sworn so passive an obedience, that she 
 would have sold her eternal self to the old chapman who first set up 
 the trade of sin rather than have disappointed her slightest wishes. 
 My vain conceit was sufficiently evident on the very next morning, 
 when I carried an Ovidian letter from my master to Euphrasia. 
 The lady gave me an affable reception, and made a thousand pretty 
 speeches, echoed from the practiced lips of her chambermaid. The 
 expression of my countenance was peculiarly interesting to the one, 
 but that within which passeth show was the flattering theme of the 
 other. According to their account, the fortunate Don Gonzales had 
 picked up a treasure. In short, my praises ran so high, that I began 
 to think worse of myself than I had ever done in the whole course
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 237 
 
 of my life. Their motive was sufficiently obvious ; but I was deter- 
 mined to play at diamond cut diamond. The simper of a simpleton 
 is no bad countermine to the attack of a sharper. These ladies 
 under favor were of the latter description, and they soon began to 
 open their batteries. 
 
 " Hark you, Gil Bias !" said Euphrasia; " fortune declares in your 
 favor if you do not balk her. Let us put our heads together, my 
 good friend. Don Gonzales is old, and a good deal shaken in con- 
 stitution ; so that a very little fever, in the hands of a very great 
 doctor, would carry him to a better place. Let us take time by the 
 forelock, and ply our arts so busily as to secure to me the largest 
 slice of his effects. If I prosper, you shall not starve, I promise you, 
 and my bare word is a better security than all the deeds and convey- 
 ances of all the lawyers in Madrid." "Madam," answered I, "you 
 have but to command me. Give me my commission on your muster- 
 roll, and you shall have no reason to complain either of my cowardice 
 or contumacy." " So be it, then," replied she. " You must watch 
 your master, and bring me an account of all his comings and goings. 
 When you are chatting together in his more familiar moments, 
 never fail to lead the conversation on the subject of our sex, and 
 then, by an artful but seemingly natural transition, take occasion to 
 say all the good you can invent of me. Ring Euphrasia in his ears 
 till all the house reechoes. I would counsel you, besides, to keep a 
 wary eye on all that passes in the Pacheco family. If you catch 
 any relation of Don Gonzales sneaking about him, with a design on 
 the inheritance, bring me word instantly ; that is all you have to 
 do, and trust me for sinking, burning, and destroying him in less 
 than no time. I have ferreted out the weak side of all your master's 
 relations long ago ; they are each of them to be made ridiculous in 
 some shape or other, so that the nephews and cousins, after sitting 
 to me for their portraits, are already turned with their faces to the 
 wall." 
 
 It was evident by these instructions, with many more to the same 
 time and tune, that Euphrasia was one of those ladies whose par- 
 tialities all lean to the side of elderly inamoratos, with more money 
 than wit. Not long before, Don Gonzales, who could refuse nothing 
 to the tender passion, had sold an estate, and she pocketed the cash. 
 Not a day passed but she got some little personal remembrance out 
 of him; and besides all this, a corner of his will was the ultimate 
 object of her speculation. I affected to engage hand over head in 
 their infamous plot; and if I must confess all without mental reser- 
 vation, it was almost a moot point, on my return home, on which 
 side of the cause I should take a brief. There was on either a pro- 
 fitable alternative, whether to join in fleecing my master,, or to
 
 238 ADVENTURES OF GIL DLAS. 
 
 merit his gratitude by rescuing him from the plunderers. Con- 
 science, however, seemed to have some little concern in the determi- 
 nation ; it was quite ridiculous to choose the by-path to villany 
 when there was a better toll to be taken on the highway of honesty. 
 Besides, Euphrasia had dealt too much in generals ; an arithmeti- 
 cal definition of so much for so much has more meaning in it than 
 " all the wealth of the Indies ;" and to this shrewd reflection, per- 
 haps, was owing my uncorrupted probity. Thus did I resolve to 
 signalize my zeal in the service of Don Gonzales, in the persuasion 
 that if I was lucky enough to disgust the worshipper by befouling 
 his idol, it would turn to very good account. On a statement of 
 debtor and creditor between the right and the wrong side of the 
 action, the money balance was visibly in favor of virtue, not to 
 mention the delights of a fair and irreproachable character. 
 
 If vice so often assumes the semblance of its opposite, why should 
 not hypocrisy now and then change sides for Variety ? I held my- 
 self up to Euphrasia for a thorough swindler. She was dupe 
 enough to believe that I was incessantly talking of her to my 
 master ; and thereupon I wove a tissue of frippery and falsehood, 
 which imposed on her for sterling truth. She had so completely 
 given herself up to my insinuations, as to believe me her convert, 
 her disciple, her confederate. The better still to carry on this fraud 
 upon fraud, I affected to languish for Beatrice ; and she, in ecstasy 
 at her age to see a young fellow at her skirts, did not much trouble 
 herself about my sincerity, if I did but play my part with vigor and 
 address. When we were in the presence of our princesses, my 
 master in the parlor and myself in the kitchen, the effect was that 
 of two different pictures, but of the same school. Don Gonzales, 
 dry as touchwood, with all its inflammability, and nothing but its 
 smother, seemed a fitter subject for extreme unction than for amor- 
 ous parley ; while my little pet, in proportion to the violence of my 
 flame, niggled, nudged, toyed, and romped, like a school-girl in 
 vacation ; and no wonder she knew her lesson so pat, for the old 
 coquette had been upwards of forty years in the form. She had 
 finished her studies under certain professors of gallantry, whose art 
 of pleasing becomes the more critical by practice; till they die 
 under the accumulated experience of two or three generations. 
 
 It was not enough for me to go every evening with my master to 
 Euphrasia's: it was sometimes my lounge even in daytime. But 
 let me pop my head in at what hour I would, that forbidden crea- 
 ture man was never there, nor even a woman of any description 
 that might not be just as easily expressed as understood. There 
 was not the least loop-hole for a paramour ! a circumstance not a 
 little perplexing to one who could not readily believe that so pretty
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 239 
 
 a bale of goods could submit to a strict monopoly by such a dealer 
 as Don Gonzales. This opinion undoubtedly was formed on a near 
 acquaintance with female nature, as will be apparent in the sequel ; 
 for the fair Euphrasia, while waiting for my master's translation, 
 fortified herself with patience in the arms of a lover, with some little 
 fellow-feeling for the frailties of her age. 
 
 One morning I was carrying, according to custom, a note to this 
 peerless pattern of perfection. There certainly were, or I was not 
 standing in the room, the feet of a man ensconced behind the tapes- 
 try. Out slunk I, just as if I had no eyes in my head ; yet, though 
 such a discovery was nothing but what might be expected, neither 
 was the piper to be paid out of my pocket ; my feelings were a good 
 deal staggered at the breach of faith. "Ah, traitress!" exclaimed 
 I, with virtuous indignation, " abandoned Euphrasia ! Not satisfied 
 to humbug a silly old gentleman with a tale of love, you share his 
 property in your person with another, and add profligacy to dis- 
 simulation I" But to be sure, on afterthoughts, I was but a green- 
 horn when I took on so for such a trivial occurrence ! It was rather 
 a subject for mirth than for moral reflection, and perfectly justified 
 by the way of the world ; the languid, embargoed commerce of my 
 master's amorous moments had need be filliped by a trade in some 
 more merchantable wares. At all events it would have been better 
 to have held my tongue, than to have laid hold on such an oppor- 
 tunity of playing the faithful servant. But instead of tempering 
 my zeal with discretion, nothing would serve the turn but taking 
 up the wrongs of Don Gonzales in the spirit of chivalry. On this 
 high principle, I made a circumstantial report of what I had seen, 
 with the addition of the attempt made by Euphrasia to seduce me 
 from my good faith. I gave it in her own words without the least 
 reserve, and put him in the way of knowing all that was to be 
 known of his mistress. He was struck all in a heap by my intelli- 
 gence, and a faint flash of indignation on his faded cheek seemed to 
 give security that the lady's infidelity would not go uripunished. 
 "Enough, Gil Bias," said he; "I am infinitely obliged by your 
 attachment to my service, and your probity is very acceptable to 
 me. I will go to Euphrasia this very moment. I will overwhelm 
 her with reproaches, and break at once with the ungrateful crea- 
 ture." With these words, he actually bent his way to the subject 
 of his anger, and dispensed with my attendance, from the kind 
 motive of sparing me the awkwardness which my presence during 
 their explanation would have occasioned to my feelings. 
 
 I longed for my master's return with all the impatience of an 
 interested person. There could not be a doubt but that with his 
 strong grounds of complaint, he would return completely disen-
 
 240 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 tangled from the snares of his nymph. In this thought I extolled 
 and magnified myself for my good deed. What could be more 
 flattering than the thanks of the kindred who were naturally to 
 inherit after Don Gonzales, when they should be informed that 
 their relative was no longer the puppet of a figure-dance so hostile 
 to their interests ? It was not to be supposed but that such a friend 
 would be remembered, and that my merits would at last be distin- 
 guished from those of other serving-men, who are usually more 
 disposed to encourage their masters in licentiousness, than to draw 
 them off to habits of decency. I was always of an aspiring temper, 
 and thought to have passed for the Joseph or the Scipio of the 
 servants' hall ; but so fascinating an idea was only to be indulged 
 for an hour or two. The founder of my fortunes came home. " My 
 friend," said he, " I have had a very sharp brush with Euphrasia. 
 She insists on it that you have trumped up a cock-and-bull story. 
 If their word is to be taken, you are no better than an impostor, a 
 hireling in the pay of my nephews, for whose sake you have set all 
 your wits at work to bring about a quarrel between her and me. I 
 have seen the real tears, made of water, run down in floods from 
 her poor dear eyes. She has vowed to me as solemnly as if I had 
 been her confessor, that she never made any overtures to you in 
 her life, and that she does not know what man is. Beatrice, who 
 seems a simple, innocent sort of girl, is exactly in the same story, 
 so that I could not but believe them and be pacified, whether I 
 would or no." 
 
 "How then, sir?" interrupted I, in accents of undissembled sor- 
 row, " do you question my sincerity ? Do you distrust." ..." No, 
 my good lad," interrupted he again in his turn ; " I will do you 
 ample justice. I do not suspect you of being in league with my 
 nephews. I am satisfied that all you have done has been for my 
 good, and own myself much obliged to you for it ; but appearances 
 are apt to mislead, so that perhaps you did not see in reality what 
 you took Tt into your head that you saw ; and in that case, only con- 
 sider yourself how offensive your charge must be to Euphrasia. 
 Yet, let that be as it will, she is a creature whom I cannot help 
 loving in spite of my senses ; so that the sacrifice she demands must 
 be made, and that sacrifice is no less than your dismission. I lament 
 it very much, my poor dear Gil Bias, and if that will be any satis- 
 faction to you, my consent was wrung from me most unwillingly; 
 but there was no saying nay. With one thing, however, you may 
 comfort yourself, you shall not be sent away with empty pockets. 
 Nay, more, I mean to turn you over to a lady of my acquaintance, 
 where you will live to your liking." 
 
 I was not a little mortified to find all my noble acts and motives
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 241 
 
 end in my own confusion. I gave a left-handed blessing to Euphra- 
 sia, and wept over the weakness of Don Gonzales, to be so foolishly 
 infatuated by her. The kind-hearted old gentleman felt within him- 
 self that in turning me adrift at the peremptory demand of his mis- 
 tress, he was not performing the most manly action of his life. For 
 this reason, as a set-off against his hen-pecked cowardice, and that 
 I might the more easily swallow this bitter dose, he gave me fifty 
 ducats, and took me with him next morning to the Marchioness of 
 Chaves, telling that lady before my face, that I was a young man of 
 unexceptionably good character, and very high in his good graces, 
 but that as certain family reasons prevented him from continuing 
 me on his own establishment, he should esteem it as a favor if she 
 would take me on hers. After such an introduction, I was retained 
 at once as her appendage, and found myself, I scarcely know how, 
 established in another household. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 THE MARCHIONESS OF CHAVES; HER CHARACTER AND THAT OF HEK 
 
 COMPANY. 
 
 E Marchioness of Chaves was a widow of five and thirty, tall, 
 _l_ handsome, and well-proportioned. She enjoyed an income of 
 ten thousand ducats, without the encumbrance of a nursery. I never 
 met with a lady of fewer words, nor one of a more solemn aspect. 
 Yet this exterior did not prevent her from being set up as the clev- 
 erest woman in all Madrid. Her great assemblies, attended by 
 people of the first quality, and by men of letters who made a coffee- 
 house of her apartments, contributed perhaps more than anything 
 she said to give her the reputation she had acquired. But this is a 
 point on which it is not my province to decide. I have only to 
 relate as her historian, that her name carried with it the idea of 
 superior genius, and that her house was called, to distinguish it 
 from the ordinary societies in town, The Fashionable Institution for 
 Literature, Taste and Science. 
 
 In point of fact, not a day passed but there were readings there, 
 sometimes of dramatic pieces, and sometimes in other branches of 
 poetry. But the subjects were always selected from the graver 
 muses ; wit and humor were held in the most sovereign contempt. 
 Comedy, however spirited ; a novel, however pointed in its satire 
 16
 
 242 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 or ingenious in its fable, such light productions as these were treated 
 as weak efforts of the brain, without the slightest claim to patron- 
 age ; whereas, on the contrary, the most microscopical work in the 
 serious style, whether ode, pastoral, or sonnet, was trumpeted to the 
 skies as the most illustrious effort of a learned and poetical age. It 
 not unfrequently fell out, that the public reversed the decrees of 
 this chancery for genius ; nay, they had sometimes the gross ill- 
 breeding to hiss the very pieces which had been sanctioned by this 
 court of criticism. 
 
 I was chief manager of the establishment, and my office consisted 
 in getting the drawing-room ready to receive the company, in set- 
 ting the chairs in order for the gentlemen, and the sofas for the 
 ladies ; after which, I took my station on the landing-place to bawl 
 out the names of the visitors as they came up stairs, and usher them 
 into the circle. The first day, an old piece of family furniture, who 
 was stationed by my side in the ante-chamber, gave me their de- 
 scription with some humor, after I had shown them into the room. 
 His name was Andrew Molina. He had a good deal of mother's 
 wit, with a flowing vein of satire, much gravity of sarcasm, and a 
 happy knack at hitting off characters. The first coiner was a bishop. 
 I roared out his lordship's name, and as soon as he was gone in, my 
 nomenclator told me " That prelate is a very curious gentleman. 
 He has some little influence at court, but wants to persuade the 
 world that he has a great deal. He presses his service on every soul 
 he comes near, and then leaves them completely in the lurch. One 
 day he met with a gentleman in the presence chamber who bowed 
 to him. He laid hold of him, and squeezing his hand, assured him, 
 with an inundation of civilities, that he was altogether devoted to 
 his lordship. ' For goodness' sake, do not spare me ; I shall not die 
 in my bed without having first found an opportunity of making you 
 my debtor.' The gentleman returned his thanks with all becoming 
 expressions of gratitude, and when they were at some distance from 
 one another, the obsequious churchman said to one of his attendants 
 in waiting, ' I ought to know that man ,- I have some floating, indis- 
 tinct idea of having seen him somewhere.' " 
 
 Next after the bishop came the son of a grandee. When I had 
 introduced him into my lady's room, " This nobleman," said Molina, 
 " is also an original in his way. You are to take notice that he 
 often pays a visit for the express purpose of talking over some 
 urgent business with the friend on whom he calls, and goes away 
 again without once thinking on the topic he came solely to discuss. 
 But," added my showman on the sight of two ladies", "here are 
 Donna Angela de Penafiel and Donna Margaretta de Montalvan. 
 This pair have not a feature of resemblance to each other. Donna
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL EL AS. 243 
 
 Margaretta prides herself on her philosophical acquirements ; she 
 will hold her head as high as the most learned head among the doc- 
 tors of Salamanca, nor will the wisdom of her conceit ever give up 
 the point to the best reasons they can render. As for Donna Angela, 
 she does not affect the learned lady, though she has taken no unsuc- 
 cessful pains in the improvement of her mind. Her manner of 
 talking is rational and proper, her ideas are novel and ingenious, 
 expressed in polite, significant, and natural terms." "This latter 
 portrait is delightful," said I to Molina ; " but the other, in my 
 opinion, is scarcely to be tolerated in the softer sex." " Not even 
 bearable indeed I" replied he with a sneer : " even in men it does 
 but expose them to the lash of satire. The good marchioness her- 
 self, our honored lady," continued he, " she too has a sort of philoso- 
 phical looseness. There will be fine chopping of logic there to-day I 
 God grant the mysteries of religion may not be invaded by these 
 disputants." 
 
 As he was finishing this last sentence, in came a withered bit of 
 mortality, with a grave and crabbed look. My companion showed 
 him no mercy. " This fellow," said he^ " is one of those pompous, 
 unbending spirits, who think to pass for men of profound genius, 
 under favor of a few commonplaces extracted out of Seneca; yet 
 they are but shallow coxcombs when one comes to examine them 
 narrowly." Then followed in the train a spruce figure, with toler- 
 able person and address, to say nothing of a troubled air and man- 
 ner, which always supposes a plentiful stock of self-sufficiency. I 
 inquired who this was. "A dramatic poet!" said Molina. "He 
 has manufactured a hundred thousand verses in his time, which 
 never brought him in the value of a groat ; but as a set-off against 
 his metrical failure, he has feathered his nest very warmly by six 
 lines of humble prose: you will wonder by what magic touch a 
 fortune could be made." . . . 
 
 And so I did; but a confounded noise upon the staircase put 
 verse and prose completely out of my head. " Good again I" ex- 
 claimed my informer ; " here is the licentiate Campanario. He ia 
 his own harbinger before ever he makes his appearance. He seta 
 out from the very street door in a continued volley of conversation, 
 and you hear how the alarm is kept up till he makes his retreat." 
 In good sooth, the vaulted roof reechoed with the organ of the 
 thundering licentiate, who at length exhibited the case in which 
 the pipes were contained. He brought a bachelor of his acquaint- 
 ance by way of accompaniment, and there was not a sotto voce passage 
 during the whole visit. " Signor Campanario," said I to Molina, 
 " is to all appearance a man of very fine conversation." " Yes," 
 replied my sage instructor, " the gentleman has his lucky hits, and
 
 244 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 a sort of quaintness that might pass for humor ; he does very well 
 in a mixed company. But the worst -of it is, that incessant talking 
 is one of his most pardonable errors. He is a little too apt to bor- 
 row from himself; and as those who are behind the scenes are not 
 to be dazzled by the tinsel of the property-man, so we know how to 
 separate a certain volubility and buffoonery of manner from sterling 
 wit and sense. The greater part of his good things would be thought 
 Very bad ones, if submitted, without their concomitant grimaces, to 
 the ordeal of a jest book." 
 
 Other groups passed before us, and Molina touched them with his 
 wand. The marchioness, too, came in for a magic rap over the 
 knuckles. " Our lady patroness," said he, " is better than might 
 be expected for a female philosopher. She is not dainty in her 
 likings ; and bating a whim or two, it is no hard matter to give her 
 satisfaction. Wits and women of quality seldom approach so near 
 the atmosphere of good sense ; and for passion, she scarcely knows 
 what it is. Play and gallantry are equally in her black books : dear 
 conversation is her first and sole delight. To lead such a life would 
 be little better than penance to the common run of ladies." Molina's 
 character of my mistress established her at once in my good graces. 
 And yet, in the course of a few days, I could not help suspecting 
 that, though not dainty in her likings, she knew what passion was, 
 and that a foul copy of gallantry delighted her more than the fairest 
 conversation. 
 
 One morning, during the mysteries of the toilet, there presented 
 himself to my notice a little fellow of forty, forbidding in his aspect, 
 more filthy if possible than Pedro de Moya the book-worm, and 
 verging in no marketable measure towards deformity. He told me 
 he wanted to speak with my lady marchioness. " On whose busi- 
 ness ?" quoth I. " On my own," quoth he, somewhat snappishly. 
 " Tell her I am the gentleman ; . . . she will understand you ; . . . 
 about whom she was talking yesterday with Donna Anna de Ve- 
 lasco." I went before him into my lady's apartment, and gave in 
 his name. The marchioness all at once shrieked out her satisfac- 
 tion, and ordered me to show him in. It was not courtesy enough 
 to point to a chair, and bid him to sit down: but the attendants, 
 forsooth, her own maids about her person, were to withdraw, so 
 that the little hunchback, with better luck than falls to the lot of 
 many a taller man, had the field entirely to himself, as lord para- 
 mount. As for the girls and myself, we could not help tittering a 
 little at this uncouthly concerted duet, which lasted nearly an hour : 
 when my patroness dismissed his little lordship, with such a pro- 
 fusion of farewells and God-be-with-you's, as sufficiently evinced 
 her thankfulness for the entertainments she had received.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 245 
 
 The conversation had, in fact, been so edifying, that in the after- 
 noon she seized a private opportunity of whispering in my ear, "Gil 
 Bias, when the short gentleman comes again, you may show him up 
 the back stairs ; there is no need of parading him along a line of 
 staring servants." I did as I was ordered. When this epitome of 
 humanity knocked at the door, and that hour was no farther off than 
 the next morning, we threaded all the by-passages to the place cf 
 assignation. I played the same modest part two or three times in 
 the very innocence of my soul, without the most distant guess that 
 the material system could form any part of their philosophy. But 
 that hour.d-like snuff at an ill construction, with which the devil has 
 armed the noses of the most charitable, put me on the scent of a 
 very whimsical game, and I concluded either that the marchioness 
 had an odd taste, or that crookback courted her as proxy to a better 
 man. 
 
 " Faith and troth," thought I, with all the impertinence of a hasty 
 opinion, " if my mistress really likes a handsome fellow behind the 
 curtain, all is well ; I forgive her sins : but if she is stark mad for 
 such a monkey as this,.to say the truth, there will be little mercy for 
 her on male or female tongues." But how foully did I defame my 
 honored patroness 1 The genius of magic had perched herself upon 
 the little conjurer's protuberant shoulder ; and his skill having been 
 puffed off to the marchioness, who was just the right food for such 
 jugglers and their tricks, she held private conferences with him. 
 Under his tuition she was to command wealth and treasure, to build 
 castles in the air, to remove from place to place in an instant, to re- 
 veal future events, to tell what is done in far countries, to call the 
 dead out of their graves, and terrify the world with many miracles. 
 Seriously, and to give him his deserts, the scoundrel lived on the 
 folly of the public ; and it has been confidently asserted, that ladies 
 of fashion have not in all ages and countries been exempt from the 
 credulity of their inferiors.
 
 246 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 AN INCIDENT THAT PARTED GIL BLAS AND THE MARCHIONESS OF 
 CHAVES. THE SUBSEQUENT DESTINATION OF THE FORMER. 
 
 FOR six months I lived with the Marchioness of Chaves, and, as 
 it must be admitted, on the fat of the land. But fate, who 
 thrusts footmen as well as heroes into the world, with herself tied 
 about their necks, gave me a jog to be gone, and swore that I 
 should stay no longer in that family or in Madrid. The adventure 
 by which this decree was announced shall be the subject of the en- 
 suing narrative. 
 
 In my mistress's female squad there was a nymph named Portia. 
 To say nothing of her youth and beauty, it was her meek demeanor 
 and good repute that captivated me, who had yet to learn that none 
 but the brave deserve the fair. The marchioness's secretary, as proud 
 as a prime minister, and as jealous as the Grand Turk, Avas caught 
 in the same trap as myself. No sooner did he cast an unlucky 
 squint at my advances, than, without waiting to see how Portia 
 might chance to fancy them, he determined pell-mell to have a tilt 
 with me. To forward this ghostly enterprise, he gave me an ap- 
 pointment one morning in a place sadly impervious to all seasona- 
 ble interruption. Yet as he was a little go-by-the-ground, scarcely 
 up to my shoulders, and apparently of feeble frame, he did not look 
 like a very dangerous antagonist ; so away I went with some little 
 courage to the appointed spot. Thinking to come off with flying 
 colors, I anticipated the effect of my bravery on the heart of Portia; 
 but as it turned out, I was gathering my laurels before they had 
 budded. The little secretary, who had been practicing for two or 
 three years at the fencing-school, disarmed me like a very baby, and 
 holding the point of his sword up to my throat, " Prepare thyself," 
 said he, " to balance thine accounts with this world, and open a cor- 
 respondence with the next, or give me thy rascally word to leave the 
 Marchioness of Chaves this very day, and never more to think of my 
 Portia." I gave him my rascally word, and was honest enough not 
 to think of breaking it. There was an awkwardness in showing my 
 face before the servants of the family, after having been worsted ; 
 and especially before the high and mighty princess who had been 
 the theme of our tournament. I only returned home to get together 
 my baggage and wages, and on that very day set off towards Toledo, 
 with a purse pretty well lined, and a knapsack at my back with my 
 wardrobe and movables. Though my rascally word was not given 
 to abandon the purlieus of Madrid, I considered it as a matter of
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 247 
 
 delicacy to disappear, at least for a few seasons. My resolution was 
 to make the tour of Spain, and to halt first at one town and then at 
 another. "My ready money," thought I, "will carry me a good 
 way : I shall not call about me very prodigally. When my stock is 
 exhausted, I can but go into service again. A lad of my versatility 
 will find places in plenty, whenever it may be convenient to look 
 out for them." 
 
 It was particularly my wish to see Toledo : and I got thither after 
 three days' journey. My quarters were at a respectable house ot 
 entertainment, where I was taken for a gentleman of some figure, 
 under favor of my best clothes, in which I did not fail to bedizen 
 myself. With the pick-tooth carelessness of a lounger, the affecta- 
 tion of a puppy, and the pertness of a wit, it remained with me to 
 dictate the terms of an arrangement with some very pretty women 
 who infested the neighborhood ; but, as a hint had been given me 
 that the pocket was the high road to their good graces, my amorous 
 enthusiasm was a little nattered, and, as it was no part of my plan 
 to domesticate myself in any one place, after having seen all the 
 lions at Toledo, I started one morning with the dawn, and took the 
 road to Cueiiqa, intending to go to Arragon. On the second day I 
 went into an inn which stood open to receive me by the road side. 
 Just as I was beginning to recruit the carnal department of my 
 nature, in came a party belonging to the Holy Brotherhood. These 
 gentlemen called for wine, and set in for a drinking bout. Over 
 their cups they were conning the description of a young man, whom 
 they had orders to arrest. " The spark," said one of them, " is not 
 above three and twenty ; he has long black hair, is well grown, with 
 an aquiline nose, and rides a bay horse." 
 
 I heard their talk without seeming to be a listener ; and, in fact, 
 did not trouble my head much about it. They remained in their 
 quarters, and I pursued my journey. Scarcely had I gone a quarter 
 of a mile, before I met a young gentleman on horseback, as person- 
 able as need be, and mounted as described by the officers. " Faith 
 and troth," thought I within myself, "this is the very identical 
 man. Black hair and an aquiline nose ! One cannot help doing a 
 good office when it comes in one's way." " Sir," said I, " give me 
 leave to ask you whether you have not some disagreeable business 
 on your hands ?" The young man, without returning any answer, 
 looked at me from head to foot, and seemed startled at my question. 
 I assured him it was not wanton curiosity that induced me to ad- 
 dress him. He was satisfied of that when I related all I had heard 
 at the inn. " My unknown benefactor," said he, " I will not deny 
 to you that I have reason to believe myself actually the person of 
 whom the officers are in quest ; therefore I shall take another road
 
 248 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 to avoid them." " In my opinion," answered I, " it would be better 
 to look out for a spot where you may be in safety, and under shelter 
 from a storm which is brewing, and will soon pour down upon our 
 heads." Without loss of time we discovered and made for a row of 
 trees, forming a natural avenue, which led us to the foot of a moun- 
 tain, where we found a hermitage. 
 
 There was a large and deep grotto which time had worn away 
 into the heart of the rock ; and the hand of man had added a rude 
 front built of pebbles and shell-work, oovered all over with turf. 
 The adjacent grounds were strewed with a thousand sorts of flowers, 
 which scattered their perfume ; and one was pleased to see, hard by 
 the grotto, a small fissure in the mountain, whence a spring rippled 
 with a tinkling noise, and poured its pellucid stream along the 
 meadow. At the entrance of this solitary abode stood a venerable 
 hermit, seemingly weighed down with years. He supported himself 
 with one hand upon a staff, and held a rosary of large beads with 
 the other, composed of at least twenty rows. His head was almost 
 lost in a brown woollen cap with long ears ; and his beard, whiter 
 than snow, swept down in aged majesty to his waist. We advanced 
 towards him. " Father," said I, "is it your pleasure to allow us 
 shelter from the threatening storm?" " Come in, my sons," replied 
 the hermit, after examining me attentively ; " this hermitage is r.c 
 your service, to occupy it during pleasure. As for your horse/'" 
 added he, pointing to the court-yard of his mansion, " he will be 
 very well off there." My companion disposed of the animal accord- 
 ingly, and we followed the old man into the grotto. 
 
 No sooner had we got in than a heavy rain fell, with a terrific 
 storm of thunder and lightning. The hermit threw himself upon 
 his knees, before a consecrated image, fastened to the wall, and we 
 followed the example of our host. Our devotions ceased with the 
 subsiding of the storm ; but as the rain continued, though with 
 diminished violence, and night was not far distant, the old man 
 said to us, " My sons, you had better not pursue your journey in 
 such weather, unless your affairs are pressing." We answered with 
 one consent that we had nothing to hinder us from staying there 
 but the fear of incommoding him ; but that if there was room fot- 
 us in the hermitage, we would thank him for a night's lodging. 
 " You may have it without inconvenience," answered the hermit, 
 "at least the inconvenience will be all your own. Your accommo- 
 dation will be rough, and your meal such as a recluse has to offer." 
 
 With this cordial welcome to a homely board, the holy personage 
 seated us at a little table, and set before us a few vegetables, a crust 
 of bread, and a pitcher of water. " My sons," resumed he, " you 
 behold my ordinary fare, but to-day I will make a feast in hospi-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 249 
 
 tality towards you." So saying, he fetched a little cheese and some 
 nuts, which he threw down upon the table. The young man, whose 
 appetite was not keen, felt but little tempted by his entertainment. 
 " I perceive," said the hermit to him, "that you are accustomed to 
 better tables than mine, or rather that sensuality has vitiated your 
 natural relish. I have been in the world like you. The utmost 
 ingenuity of the culinary art, whether to stimulate or soothe the 
 palate, was exerted by turns for my gratification. But since I have 
 lived in solitude, my taste has recovered its simplicity. Now, vege- 
 tables, fruit and milk are my greatest dainties ; in a word, I keep 
 an antediluvian table." 
 
 While he was haranguing after this fashion, the young man fell 
 into a deep musing. The hermit was aware of his inattention. 
 " My son," said he, " something weighs upon your spirits. May we 
 not be informed what disturbs you? Open your heart to me. Curi- 
 osity is not my motive for questioning you, but charity, and a desire 
 to be of service. I am at a time of life to give advice, and you 
 perhaps are under circumstances to stand in need of it." "Yes, 
 father," replied the gentleman with a sigh, " I doubtless do stand 
 in need of it, and will follow yours, since you are so good as to offer 
 it ; I cannot suppose there is any risk in unbosoming myself to a 
 man like you." "No, my son," said the old man, "you have 
 nothing to fear, it is under more stately roofs that confidences ara 
 betrayed." On this assurance the cavalier began his story t 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE HISTORY OF DON ALPHONSO AND THE FAIR SERAPH1NA. 
 
 " T WILL attempt no disguise from you, my venerable friend, 
 I nor from this gentleman who completes my audience. After 
 the generosity of his conduct towards me, I should be in the wrong 
 to distrust him. You shall know my misfortunes from their begin- 
 ning. I am a native of Madrid, and came into the world mysteri- 
 ously. An officer of the German guard, Baron Steinbach by name, 
 returning home one evening, espied a bundle of fair linen at the 
 foot of his staircase. He took it up and carried it to his wife's 
 apartment, where it turned out to be a new-born infant wrapped up 
 in very handsome swaddling-clothes, with a note containing an 
 assurance that it belonged to persona of condition, who would come
 
 250 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 forward and own it at some future period ; and the further inform- 
 ation that it had been baptized by the name of Alphonso. I was 
 that unfortunate stranger in the world, and this is all that I know 
 about myself. Whether honor or profligacy was the motive of the 
 exposure, the helpless child was equally the victim ; whether my 
 unhappy mother wanted to get rid of me, to conceal an habitual 
 course of scandalous amours, or whether she had made a single de- 
 viation from the path of virtue with a faithless lover, and had been 
 obliged to protect her fame at the expense of nature and the maternal 
 feelings. 
 
 " However this might be, the baron and his wife were touched by 
 my destitute condition, and resolved, as they had no children of 
 their own, to bring me up under the name of Don Alphonso. As 
 I grew in years and stature, their attachment to me strengthened. 
 My manners, genteel before strangers and affectionate towards them, 
 were the theme of their fondest panegyric. In short, they loved me 
 as if I had been their own. Masters of every description were pro- 
 vided for me. My education became their leading object; and far 
 from waiting impatiently till my parents should come forward, they 
 seemed, on the contrary, ta wish that my birth might always re- 
 main a mystery. As soon as the baron thought me old enough to 
 bear arms, he sent me into the service. With my ensign's commis- 
 sion, a genteel and suitable equipment was provided for me ; and, 
 the more effectually to animate me in the career of glory, my patron 
 pointed out that the path of honor was open to every adventurer, 
 and that the renown of a warrior would be so much the more credit- 
 able to me, as I should owe it to none but myself. At the same 
 time he laid open to me the circumstances of my birth, which he 
 had hitherto concealed. As I had passed for his son in Madrid, and 
 had actually thought myself so, it must be owned that this commu- 
 nication gave me some uneasiness. I could not then, nor can I even 
 now, think of it without a sense of shame. In proportion as the in- 
 nate feelings of a gentleman bear testimony to the birth of one, am 
 I mortified at being rejected and renounced by the unnatural 
 authors of my being. 
 
 " I went to serve in the Low Countries, but peace was concluded 
 in a short time; and Spain finding herself without assailants, though 
 not without assassins, I returned to Madrid, where I received fresh 
 marks of affection from the baron and his wife. Rather more than 
 two months after my return, a little page came into my room one 
 morning, and presented me with a note couched nearly in the 
 following terms: 'I am 'neither ugly nor crooked, and yet you 
 often see me at my window without the tribute of a glance. This 
 conduct is little in unison with the spirit of your physiognomy,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 251 
 
 and so far stings me to revenge that I will make you love me if 
 possible.' 
 
 " On the perusal of this epistle, there could be no doubt but it 
 came from a widow, by name Leonora, who lived opposite our house, 
 and had the character of a very great coquette. Hereupon I ex- 
 amined my little messenger, who had a mind to be on the reserve at 
 first, but a ducat in hand opened the floodgates of his intelligence. 
 He even took charge of an answer to his mistress, confessing my 
 guilt, and intimating that its punishment was far advanced. 
 
 " I was not insensible to a conquest even of this kind. For the 
 rest of the day, home and my window-seat were the grand attrac- 
 tion ; and the lady seemed to have fallen in love with her window- 
 seat too. I made signals. She returned them ; and on the very 
 next day sent me word by her little Mercury, that if I would be in 
 the street on the following night between eleven and twelve, I 
 might converse with her at a window on the ground floor. Though 
 I did not feel myself very much captivated by so coming on a kind 
 of widow, it was impossible not to send such an answer as if I was ; 
 and a sort of amorous curiosity made me as impatient as if I had 
 really been in love. In the dusk of the evening, I went sauntering 
 up and down the Prado till the hour of assignation. Before I could 
 get to my appointment, a man mounted on a fine horse alighted 
 near me, and coming up with a peremptory air, ' Sir,' said he, ' are 
 not you the son of Baron Steinbach ?' I answered in the affirmative. 
 'You are the person then,' resumed he, ' who were to meet Leonora 
 at her window to-night? I have seen her letters and your answers; 
 her page has. put them into my hands, and I have followed you this 
 evening from your own house hither, to let you know you have a 
 rival whose pride is not a little wounded at a competition with your- 
 self in an affair of the heart. It would be unnecessary to say more. 
 We are in a retired place ; let us therefore draw, unless, to avoid 
 the chastisement in store for you, you will give me your word to 
 break off all connection with Leonora. Sacrifice in my favor all 
 your hopes and interest, or your life must be the forfeit.' ' It had 
 been better,' said I, ' to have insured my generosity by good manners, 
 than to extort my compliance by menaces. I might have granted 
 to your request what I must refuse to this insolent demand.' 
 
 " ' Well then,' resumed he, tying up his horse and preparing for 
 the encounter, ' let us settle our dispute like men. Little could a 
 person of my condition have stomached the debasement of a request 
 to a man of your quality. Nine out of ten in my rank would, under 
 such circumstances, have taken their revenge on terms of less honor 
 but more safety.' I felt myself exasperated at this last insinuation, 
 so that, seeing he had already drawn his sword, mine did not linger
 
 252 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS. 
 
 in the scabbard. We fell on one another with so much fury, that 
 the engagement did not last long. Whether his attack was made 
 with too much heat, or my skill in fencing was superior, he soon 
 received a mortal wound. He staggered, and dropped dead upon 
 the spot. In such a situation, having no alternative but an imme- 
 diate escape, I mounted the horse of my antagonist, and went off in 
 the direction of Toledo. There was no venturing to return to Baron 
 Steinbach's, since, besides the danger of the attempt, the narrative 
 of my adventure from my own mouth would only afflict him the 
 more, so that nothing was so eligible as an immediate decampment 
 from Madrid. 
 
 "Chewing the cud of my own melancholy reflection, I travelled 
 onwards the remainder of the night and all the next morning. But 
 about noon it became necessary to stop, both for the sake of my 
 horse and to avoid the insupportable fierceness of the mid-day heat. 
 I staid in a village till sunset, and then, intending to reach Toledo 
 without drawing bit, went on my way. I had already got two 
 leagues beyond Illescas, when, about midnight, a storm like that of 
 to-day overtook me as I was jogging along* the road. There was a 
 garden wall at some little distance, and I rode up to it. For want 
 of any more commodious shelter, my horse's station and my own 
 were arranged, as comfortably as circumstances would admit, near 
 the door of a summer-house at the end of the wall, with a balcony 
 over it. Leaning against the door, I discovered it to be open, owing, 
 as I thought, to the negligence of the servants. Having dismounted, 
 less from curiosity than for the sake of a better standing, as the rain 
 had been very troublesome under the balcony, I went into the 
 lower part of the summer-house, leading my horse by the bridle. 
 
 " My amusement during the storm was in reconnoitering my 
 quarters ; and though I had nothing to form an opinion by, but the 
 lurid gleams of the lightning, it was very evident that such a house 
 must belong to some family above the common. I was waiting 
 anxiously till the rain abated, to set forward again on my journey ; 
 but a great light at a distance made me change my purpose. Leav- 
 ing my horse in the summer-house, with the precaution of fastening 
 the door, I made for the light, in the assurance that they were not 
 all gone to bed in the house, and with the intention of requesting a 
 lodging for the night. After crossing several walks, I came to a 
 saloon, and here, too, the door was left open. On my entrance, from 
 the magnificence so handsomely displayed by the light of a fine 
 crystal lustre, it was easy to conclude that this must be the resi- 
 dence of some illustrious nobleman. The pavement was of marble, 
 the wainscot richly carved and gilt, the proportions of architecture 
 tastefully preserved, and the ceiling evidently adorned by- the mas-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 253 
 
 terpieces of the first artists in fresco. But what particularly engaged 
 my attention, was a great number of busts, and those of Spanish 
 heroes, supported on jasper pedestals, and ranged round the saloon. 
 There was opportunity enough for examining all this splendor, since 
 there was not even a foot-fall, nor the shadow of any one gliding 
 along the passage, though my ears and eyes were incessantly on the 
 watch for some inhabitant of this fairy desert. 
 
 " On one side of the saloon there was a door ajar ; by pushing it 
 a little wider open, I discovered a range of apartments, with a light 
 only in the farthest. What is to be done now? thought I within 
 myself. Shall I go back, or take the liberty of marching forward, 
 even to that chamber ? To be sure, it was obvious that the most 
 prudent step would be to make good my retreat ; but curiosity was 
 not to be repelled, or rather, to speak more truly, my star was in its 
 ascendant. Advancing boldly from room to room, at length I 
 reached that where the light was. It was a wax taper on a marble 
 slab, in a magnificent candlestick. The first object that caught my 
 eye was the gay furniture of this summer abode ; but soon after- 
 wards, casting a look towards a bed, of which the curtains were half 
 undrawn on account of the heat, an object arrested my attention, 
 which engrossed it with the deepest interest. A young lady, in 
 spite of the thunderclaps which had been pealing round her, was 
 sleeping there, motionless and undisturbed. I approached her very 
 gently, and by the light of the taper I had seized, a complexion and 
 features the most dazzing were submitted to my gaze. My spirits 
 were all afloat at the discovery. A sensation of transport and de- 
 light came over me ; but however my feelings might harass my own 
 heart, my conviction of her high birth checked every presumptuous 
 hope, and awe obtained a complete victory over desire. While I 
 was drinking in floods of adoration at the shrine of her beauty, the 
 goddess of my homage awoke. 
 
 " You may well suppose her consternation, at seeing a man, an 
 utter stranger, in her bed-chamber, and at midnight. She was ter- 
 rified at this strange appearance, and uttered a loud shriek. I did 
 my best to restore her composure, and throwing myself on my kneea 
 in the humblest posture, ' Madam/ said I, ' fear nothing. My busi- 
 ness here is not to hurt you.' I was going on, but her alarm was so 
 great that she was incapable of hearing my excuses. She called her 
 women with a most vehement importunity, and as she could get no 
 answer, she threw over her a thin night-gown at the foot of the bed, 
 rushed rapidly out of the room, and darted into the apartmenis I 
 had crossed, still calling her female establishment about her, as well 
 as a younger sister whom she had under her care. I looked for 
 nothing less than a posse of strapping footmen who were likely,
 
 254 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 without hearing my defence, to execute summary justice on so 
 audacious a culprit ; but by good luck, at least for me, her cries 
 were to no purpose ; they only roused an old domestic, who would 
 have been but a sorry knight had any ravisher or magician invaded 
 her repose. Nevertheless, assuming somewhat of courage from his 
 presence, she asked me haughtily who I was, by what inlet and to 
 what purpose I had presumptuously gained admission into her 
 house. I then began to enter on my exculpation, and had no sooner 
 declared that the open door of the summer-house in the garden had 
 invited my entrance, than she exclaimed, as if thunderstruck, ' Just 
 heaven 1 what an idea darts across my mind 1' 
 
 "As she uttered these words, she caught at the wax light on the 
 table ; then ran through all the apartments one after another, with- 
 out finding either her attendants or her sister. She remarked, too, 
 that all her personals and wardrobe were carried off. With such a 
 comment on her hasty suspicions, she came up to me, and said, in 
 the hurried accent of suspense and perturbation, ' Traitor ! add not 
 hypocrisy to your other crimes. Chance has not brought you hither. 
 You are in the train of Don Ferdinand de Leyva, and are an accom- 
 plice in his guilt. But hope not to escape ; there are still people 
 enough about me to secure you.' ' Madam,' said I, ' do not confound 
 me with your enemies. Don Ferdinand de Leyva is a stranger to 
 me ; I do not even know who you are. You see before you an out- 
 cast, whom an affair of honor has compelled to fly from Madrid ; 
 and I swear by whatever is most sacred among men, that had not a 
 storm overtaken me, I should never have set my foot over your 
 threshold. Entertain, then, a more favorable opinion of me. So 
 far from suspecting me for an accomplice in any plot against you, 
 believe me ready to enlist in your defence, and to revenge your 
 wrongs.' These last words, and still more the sincere tone in which 
 they were delivered, convinced the lady of my innocence, and she 
 seemed no longer to look on me as her enemy ; but if her anger 
 abated, it was only that her grief might sway more absolutely. She 
 began weeping most bitterly. Her tears called forth my sympathy, 
 and my affliction was scarcely less poignant than her own, though 
 the cause of this contagious sorrow was still to be ascertained. Yet 
 it was not enough to mingle my tears with hers ; in my impatience 
 to become her defender and avenger, an impulse of terrific fury 
 came over me. 'Madam,' exclaimed I, 'what outrage have you 
 sustained ? Let me know it, and your injuries are mine. Would 
 you have me hunt out Don Ferdinand, and stab him to the heart? 
 Only tell me on whom your justice would fall, and they shall suffer. 
 You have only to give the word. Whatever dangers, whatever cer- 
 tain evils may be attendant on the execution of your orders, the
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS. 255 
 
 unknown, whom you thought to be in league with your enemies, 
 will brave them all in your cause. 
 
 " This enraptured devotion surprised the lady, and stopped the 
 flowing of her tears. 'Ah ! sir,' said she, ' forgive this suspicion, 
 and attribute it to the blindness of my cruel fate. A nobility of 
 sentiment like this speaks at once to the heart of Seraphina ; and 
 while it undeceives, makes me the less repine at a stranger being 
 witness of an affront offered to my family. Yes, I own my error, 
 and revolt not, unknown as you are, from your proffered aid. But 
 the death of Don Ferdinand is not what I require.' ' Well, then, 
 madam/ resumed I, ' of what nature are the services you would 
 enjoin me?' ' Sir,' replied Seraphina, ' the ground of my complaint 
 is this. Don Ferdinand de Leyva is enamored of my sister Julia, 
 whom he met with by accident at Toledo, where we for the most part 
 reside. Three months since, he asked her in marriage of the Count 
 de Polan, my father, who refused his consent on account of an old 
 grudge subsisting between the families. My sister is not yet fifteen ; 
 she must have been indiscreet enough to follow the evil counsels of my 
 woman, whom Don Ferdinand has doubtless bribed: and this daring 
 ruffian, advertised of our being alone at our country-house, has taken 
 the opportunity of carrying off Julia. At least I should like to 
 know what hiding-place he has chosen to deposit her in, that my 
 father and my brother, who have been these two months at Madrid, 
 may take their measures accordingly. For heaven's sake,' added 
 she, 'give yourself the trouble of examining the neighborhood of 
 Toledo ; an act so heinous cannot escape detection, and my family 
 will owe you a debt of everlasting gratitude.' 
 
 "The lady was little aware how unseasonable an employment she 
 was thrusting upon me. My escape from Castile could not be too 
 soon effected ; and yet how should such a reflection ever enter into 
 her head, when it was completely superseded in mine by a more 
 powerful suggestion ? Delighted at finding myself important to the 
 most lovely creature in the universe, I caught at the commission 
 with eagerness, and promised to acquit myself of it with equal zeal 
 and industry. In fact, I did not wait for daybreak, to go about ful- 
 filling my engagement. A hasty leave of Seraphina gave me occa- 
 sion to beg her pardon for the alarm I had caused her, and to assure 
 her that she should speedily hear somewhat of my adventure. I 
 went out as I came in, but so wrapped up in admiration of the lady, 
 that it was palpable I was completely caught. My sense of this 
 truth was the more confirmed by the eagerness with which I em- 
 barked in her cause, and by the romantic, gayly-colored bubbles 
 which passion blew. It struck my fancy that Seraphina, though en- 
 grossed by her affliction, had remarked the hasty birth of my love,
 
 256 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 without being displeased at the discovery. I even flattered myself 
 that if I could furnish her with any certain intelligence of her sister, 
 and the business should terminate in any degree to her satisfaction, 
 my part in it would be remembered to my advantage." 
 
 Don Alphonso broke the thread of his discourse at this passage, 
 and said to our aged host, " I beg your pardon, father, if the fullness 
 of my passion should lead me to dilate too long upon particulars, 
 wearisome and uninteresting to a stranger." " No, my son," replied 
 the hermit, " such particulars are not wearisome : I am interested to 
 know the state and progress of your passion for the young lady you 
 are speaking of; my counsels will be influenced by the minute de- 
 tail you are giving me." 
 
 " With my fancy heated by these seductive images," resumed the 
 young man, " I was two days hunting after Julia's ravisher : but in 
 vain were all the inquiries that could be made ; by no means I could 
 devise was the least trace of him to be discovered. Deeply mortified 
 at the unsuccessful issue of my search, I bent my steps back to Ser- 
 aphina, whom I pictured to myself as overwhelmed with uneasiness. 
 Yet she was in better spirits than might have been expected. She 
 informed me that her success had been better than mine ; for she 
 had learned how her sister was disposed of. She had received a letter 
 from Don Ferdinand himself, importing that after being privately 
 married to Julia, he had placed her in a convent at Toledo. ' I have 
 sent this letter to my father,' pursued Seraphina. ' I hope the affair 
 may be adjusted amicably, and that a solemn marriage will soon 
 extinguish the feuds which have so long kept our respective families 
 at variance.' 
 
 " When the lady had thus informed me of her sister's fate, she 
 began making an apology for the trouble she had given me, as well 
 as the danger into which she might imprudently have thtown me, 
 by engaging my services in pursuit of a ravisher, without recollect- 
 ing what I had told her, that an affair of honor had been the occa- 
 sion of my flight. Her excuses were couched in such flattering terms, 
 as to convert her very oversight into an obligation. As rest was de- 
 sirable for me after my journey, she conducted me into the saloon, 
 where we sat down together. She wore an undress gown of white 
 taffety with black stripes, and a little hat of the same materials with 
 black feathers ; which gave me reason to suppose that she might be 
 a widow. But she looked so young, that I scarcely knew what to 
 think of it. 
 
 " If I was all impatient to get at her history, she was not less so to 
 know who I was. She besought me to acquaint her with my name, 
 not doubting, as she kindly expressed it, by my noble air, and still 
 more by the generous pity which had made me enter so warmly into
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 257 
 
 her interests, that I belonged to some considerable family. The 
 question was not a little perplexing. My color came and went, my 
 agitation was extreme : and I must own that, with less repugnance 
 to the meanness of a falsehood than to the acknowledgment of a dis- 
 graceful truth, I answered that I was the son of Baron Steinbach, an 
 officer of the German guard. ' Tell me, likewise,' resumed the lady, 
 ' why you left Madrid. Before you answer my question, I will insure 
 you all my father's credit, as well as that of my brother Don Gas- 
 pard. It is the least mark of gratitude I can bestow on a gentleman 
 who, for my service, has neglected the preservation even of his own 
 life.' Without further hesitation, I acquainted her with all the cir- 
 cumstances of my rencounter: she laid the whole blame on my 
 deceased antagonist, and engaged to interest all her family in my 
 favor. 
 
 " When I had satisfied her curiosity, it seemed not unreasonable 
 to plead in favor of my own. I inquired whether she was maid, wife, 
 or widow. ' It is three years,' answered she, ' since my father made 
 me marry Don Diego de Lara ; and I have been a widow these fif- 
 teen months.' ' Madam/ said I, ' by what misfortune were your 
 wedded joys so soon interrupted?' 'I am going to inform you, sir,' 
 resumed the lady, ' in return for the confidence you have reposed in 
 me. 
 
 ' ' Don Diego de Lara was a very elegant and accomplished gen- 
 tleman : but, though his affection for me was extreme, and every day 
 was witness to some attempt at giving me pleasure, such as the most 
 impassioned and most tender lover puts in practice to win the smile 
 of her he loves ; though he had a thousand estimable qualities, my 
 heart was untouched by all his merit. Love is not always the off- 
 spring either of assiduity or desert. Alas ! we are often captivated 
 at first sight by we know not whom, nor why, nor how. To love, 
 then, was not in my power. More disconcerted than gratified by 
 his repeated offices of tenderness, which I received with a forced 
 courtesy, but without real pleasure, if I accused myself in secret of 
 ingratitude, I still thought myself an object as much of pity as of 
 censure. To his unhappiness and my own, his delicacy more than 
 kept pace with his affection. Not an action or a speech of mine, 
 but he unravelled all its hidden motives, and fathomed all my 
 thoughts, almost before they arose. The inmost recesses of my heart 
 were laid open to his penetration. He complained without ceasing 
 of my indifference ; and esteemed himself only so m'uch the more 
 unfortunate in not being able to please me, as he was well assured 
 that no rival stood in his way ; for I was scarcely sixteen years old ; 
 and, before he paid his addresses to me, he had tampered with my 
 woman, who had assured him that no one had hitherto attracted my 
 17
 
 258 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 attention. " Yes, Seraphina," he would often say, " I could have 
 been contented that you had preferred some other to myself, and that 
 there were no more fatal cause of your insensibility. My attentions 
 and your own principles would get the better of such a juvenile 
 prepossession ; but I despair of triumphing over your coldness, since 
 your heart is impenetrable to all the love I have lavished on you." 
 Wearied with the repetition of the same strain, I told him that in- 
 stead of disturbing his repose and mine by this excess of delicacy, 
 he would do better in trusting to the effects of time. In fact, at my 
 age, I could not be expected to enter into the refinements of so sen- 
 timental a passion ; and Don Diego should have waited, as I warned 
 him, for a riper period and more staid reflection. But, finding that 
 a whole year had elapsed, and that he was no further advanced in 
 my favor than on the first day, he lost all patience, or rather, his 
 brain became distracted. Affecting to have important business at 
 court, he took his leave, and went to serve as a volunteer in the Low 
 Countries ; where he soon found in the chances of war what he went 
 to seek, the termination of his sufferings and of his life.' 
 
 " After the lady had finished her recital, her husband's uncommon 
 character became the topic of our discourse. We were interrupted 
 by the arrival of a courier, charged with a letter for Seraphina from 
 the Count de Polan. She begged my permission to read it; and as 
 she went on, I observed her to grow pale, and to become dreadfully 
 agitated. When she had finished, she raised her eyes upward, 
 heaved a long sigh, and her face was in a moment bathed with her 
 tears. Her sorrow sat heavily on my feelings. My spirits were 
 greatly disturbed ; and, as if it were a forewarning of the blow in> 
 pending over my head, a death-like shudder crept through my frame, 
 and my faculties were all benumbed. ' Madam,' said I, in accents 
 half choked with apprehension, ' may I ask of what dire events that 
 letter brings the tidings ?' ' Take it, sir,' answered Seraphina most 
 dolefully, while she held out the letter to me. ' Bead for yourself 
 what my father has written. Alas! you are but too deeply concerned 
 in the contents.' 
 
 "At these words, which made my blood run cold, I took the letter 
 with a trembling hand, and found in it the following intelligence: 
 ' Your brother, Don Gaspard, fought yesterday at the Prado. He 
 received a small sword wound, of which he died this day ; and de- 
 clared before he breathed his last that his antagonist was the son of 
 Baron Steinbach, an officer of the German guard. As misfortunes 
 never come alone, the murderer has eluded my vengeance by flight ; 
 but wherever he may have concealed himself, no pains shall be 
 spared to hunt him out. I am going to write to the magistrates all 
 round the country ? wl^q wil} not fail \o. take him into custody, if he
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 259 
 
 passes through any of the towns in their jurisdiction, and by the 
 notices I am going to circulate, I hope to cut off his retreat in the 
 country or at the seaports. THE COUNT DE POLAN.' 
 
 " Conceive into what a ferment this letter threw all my thoughts. 
 I remained for some moments motionless and without the power of 
 speech. ' In the midst of my confusion, I too plainly saw the de- 
 structive bearing of Don Gaspard's death on the passion I had im- 
 bibed. My despair was unbounded at the thought. I threw myself 
 at Seraphina's feet, and offering her my naked sword, ' Madam,' said 
 I, ' spare the Count de Polan the necessity of seeking farther for a 
 man who might possibly withdraw himself from his resentment. 
 Be yourself the avenger of your brother : offer up his murderer as 
 the victim of your own hand : now, strike the blow. Let this very 
 weapon, which terminated his life, cut short the sad remnant of his 
 adversary's days.' ' Sir,' answered Seraphina, a little softened by 
 my behavior, ' I loved Don Gaspard, so that though you killed him 
 in fair and manly hostility, and though he brought his death upon 
 himself, you may rest assured that I take up my father's quarrel. 
 Yes, Don Alphonso, I am your decided enemy, and will do against 
 you all that the ties of blood and friendship require at my hands. 
 But I will not take advantage of your evil star : in vain has it de- 
 livered you into my grasp : if honor arms me against you, the same 
 sentiment forbids to pursue a cowardly revenge. The rights of hos- 
 pitality must be inviolable, and I will not repay such service as you 
 have rendered me with the treachery of an assassin. Fly ! make 
 your escape, if you can, from our pursuit and from the rigor of the 
 laws, and save your forfeit life from the dangers that beset it.' 
 
 " ' What then, madam,' returned I, ' when vengeance is in your 
 own hands, do you turn it over to the laws, which may, perhaps, be 
 too slow for your impatience ? Nay ! rather stab a wretch who is 
 not worthy of your forbearance. No, madam, maintain not so noble 
 and so generous a proceeding with one like me. Do you know who 
 I am ? All Madrid takes me for Baron Steinbach's son ; yet am I 
 nothing better than a foundling, whom he brought up from charity. 
 I know not even who were guilty of my existence.' ' No matter,' 
 interrupted Seraphina, with precipitation, as if my last words had 
 given her new uneasiness, ' though you were the lowest of mankind 
 I would do what honor bids.' ' Well, madam,' said I, ' since a 
 brother's death is insufficient to excite your thirst after my blood, I 
 will exasperate your hatred still further by a new offence, of which 
 I trust you will never pardon the boldness. I dote on you : I could 
 not behold your charms without being dazzled by them : and, in 
 spite of the cloud in which my destiny was enveloped, I had cher- 
 ished the hope of being united to you. I was so infatuated by my
 
 260 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 passion, or rather by my pride, as to flatter myself that Heaven, 
 which perhaps conceals from me my birth in mercy, might discover 
 it one day, and enable me without a blush to acquaint you with my 
 real name. After this injurious avowal, can you hesitate a moment 
 about punishing me?' 
 
 " ' This rash declaration,' replied the lady, ' would doubtless prove 
 offensive at any other season ; but I forgive it in consideration of 
 the trouble which bewilders you. Besides, my own condition so 
 engrosses me, as to render me deaf to any strange ideas that may 
 escape you. Once more, Don Alphonso,' added she, shedding tears, 
 ' begone far from a house which you have cast into mourning ; every 
 moment of your longer stay adds pungency to my distress.' ' I no 
 longer oppose your will, madam,' returned I, preparing to take my 
 leave : ' absence from you must then be my portion ; but do not 
 suppose that, anxious for the preservation of a life which is become 
 hateful to you, I go to seek an asylum where I may be sheltered 
 from your search. No, no ; I bare my breast to your resentment. 
 I shall wait with impatience at Toledo for the fate which you design 
 me ; and by surrendering at once to my pursuers, shall myself for- 
 ward the completion of my miseries.' 
 
 "At the conclusion of this speech I withdrew. My horse was 
 returned to me, and I went to Toledo, where I abode eight days, 
 and really with so little care to conceal myself, that I know not 
 how or why I have escaped an. arrest ; for I cannot suppose that the 
 Count de Polan, whose whole soul is set on cutting off my retreat, 
 should not have been aware that I was likely to pass through 
 Toledo. Yesterday I left that town, where it should seem as if I 
 was tired of my liberty, and without betaking myself to any fixed 
 course of travelling, I came to this hermitage, like a man who had 
 no reason to be ashamed of showing himself. Such, father, was the 
 cause of my absence and distraction. I beseech you to assist me 
 with your counsels." 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 THE OLD HERMIT TURNS OUT AN EXTRAORDINARY GENIUS, AND GIL 
 BLAS FINDS HIMSELF AMONG HIS FORMER ACQUAINTANCE. 
 
 WHEN Don Alphonso had concluded the melancholy recital 
 of his misfortunes, the old hermit said to him, " My son, you 
 have been excessively rash in tarrying so long at Toledo. I consider
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 261 
 
 what you have told me of your story in a very different light from 
 that you affect to place it in, and your love for Seraphina seems to 
 me to be sheer madness. Take my word for it, you will do well to 
 cancel that young lady from your remembrance; she never can be 
 of your communion. Retreat like a skillful general, when you can- 
 not act with effect on the offensive ; and pursue your fortune on 
 another field, where success may smile on your endeavors. You 
 will be terribly out of luck to kill the brother of the next young 
 lady who may chance to succeed this only possible object of your 
 affection." 
 
 He was going to add many other inducements to resignation, in 
 such a case as Don Alphonso's, when we saw another hermit enter 
 our retreat, with a well-stuffed wallet slung across his shoulders. He 
 was on his return, with the charitable contributions of all the good 
 folks in the town of Cuen<ja ; and the gathering did credit to the re- 
 ligion of the age. He looked younger than his companion, in spite 
 of his thick, foxy beard. " Welcome home 1 brother Antony," said 
 the elder of the two recluses ; " what news do you bring us from 
 town ?" " Bad enough," answered the carroty friar, putting into 
 his hands a paper, folded in the form of a letter ; " this little instru- 
 ment will inform you." The hoary sage opened it, and after read- 
 ing on with an increased attention, as the contents seemed to grow 
 more interesting exclaimed, "Heaven's will be done! Since the 
 combustion is anticipated, we have only to fall in with the humor of 
 our fate. Let us change our dialect, Signor Don Alphonsol" pur- 
 sued he, addressing his discourse to my young companion : " you 
 behold in me a man, like yourself, who has been a broad mark for 
 the wantonness of fortune to take aim at. Word is sent me from 
 Cuenca, a town at the distance of a league hence, that some back- 
 biter has been blackening my fair fame in the esteem of justice ; who 
 is coming with her hue and cry to disturb the repose of these rural 
 scenes, and to lay her paw upon my person. But an old fox is too 
 cunning to be caught in a trap. This is not the first time that I 
 have cut and run before the bloodhounds of the law. But, thanks 
 to myself for having my wits about me, I have always ended the 
 chase in a whole skin, and held myself in readiness for another. It 
 is now time to assume another form ; for, whether you like me best in 
 my old skin or my new, I cast my hermit's decrepit slough, to bask 
 in the sunshine of youth and vigor." 
 
 To suit the action to the word, he threw off the encumbrance of 
 his ecclesiastical petticoat, and stood forth to view in a doublet of 
 black serge with slashed sleeves. Then off went his cap, and snap 
 went a string which supported the hoary honors of a beard, and our 
 anchorite was at once transformed to a brawny ruffian of cight-and-
 
 262 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 twenty or thirty. Brother Antony, following a good example, dis- 
 carded the outward show of religion, treated his fiery beard as the 
 snowy one had been handled just before, and pulled out of an old 
 worm-eaten trunk a sorry rag of a cassock, with which he invested 
 his person. But what words can express my surprise, when Signer 
 Don Eaphael presented himself to my view, like a phoenix from the 
 ashes of the old bead-counter ! To complete the trick of the panto- 
 mime, brother Antony was turned into my faithful vassal and trusty 
 squire, Ambrose de Lamela. " Here are miracles I" exclaimed I, in 
 a quandary ; " as far as I can perceive, we are all hail fellow, well 
 met!" "You never were more lucky in your life, Signor Gil Bias,'' 
 said Don Raphael, with a brazen-faced good humor : " you have 
 fallen among old friends when you least expected it. It must 
 be owned you have a crow to pluck with us ; but let the past be 
 buried in oblivion, and thank Heaven, here we are together again. 
 Ambrose and I will serve under your banner ; and let me tell you, 
 you will have subalterns of no contemptible prowess. You may 
 object to our morals : but they are better in the main than many a 
 hypocrite's pretensions. We never assassinate, and rarely maltreat, 
 and that in pure self-defence. The only liberty we take with society 
 is to live at free quarters ; and though robbery may be considered 
 as containing some little spice of injustice, the necessity we labor 
 under of committing it restores its equilibrium to the scale. Even 
 join your fortune with ours; you will lead a life of hazard, but of 
 variety. Our predatory peregrinations have every pastoral beauty 
 except innocence, and the want of that is more than counterpoised by 
 subtlety and stratagem. Not but, with all our forecast, a certain 
 mechanical concatenation df second causes sometimes frustrates our 
 best concerted projects, and drags our philosophy through the mire. 
 But a ducking now and then only makes us swim the better. The 
 seasons must all be taken in their turns : the blanks as well as the 
 prizes must be drawn in the cheating lottery of life." 
 
 " Courteous stranger," pursued the pretended hermit, speaking to 
 Don Alphonso, "we extend the proposal of partnership to you, and 
 it may be a question whether you will better yourself by rejecting it, 
 in the lamentable condition of your affairs ; for, to say nothing of 
 the chance medley for which you are at hide and seek, your fortune 
 is probably a little out at elbows." " Most lamentably so," said 
 Don Alphonso ; " and hence, since the truth must out, are my fore- 
 bodings more dark than even my present evils." " That is the very 
 thing !" replied Don Raphael. ' " You were sent by our better genius 
 to join the party. You will find no such good berth in the honest 
 part of the world. Your wants will all be supplied, and you may 
 laugh at the vigilance of your pursuers. There is not a corner in
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 263 
 
 all Spain which we have not ferreted out ; those who are always on 
 the scamper see a great deal of the country. We are perfect con- 
 noisseurs- in landscape, and affect Salvator Eosa's rugged scenery. 
 There we graze in peace and' freedom, secure from the brutality of 
 justice." Don Alphonso expressed himself very much obliged to 
 them for their kind invitation ; and finding neither money in his 
 purse nor contrivance to procure it in his pericranium, made up his 
 mind at once not to stand upon a punctilio with morality. I too 
 was led into a looser course than agreed with my rigid principles, by 
 a growing friendship for this young man, whom I could not find in 
 my heart to abandon in so perilous an enterprise. 
 
 We all four agreed to set off in a body, and never to part com- 
 pany. The question was put whether we should sound a retreat on 
 the instant, or first give a peremptory summons to a flagon of excel- 
 lent wine, which brother Antony had invested by regular approaches 
 at Cuenc,a the day before ; but Raphael, a more experienced general 
 than any of us, represented that the first thing to be done was to 
 render our own camp impregnable, for which purpose he proposed 
 that we should march all night, to gain a very thick wood between 
 Villardesa and Almodabar, where we should halt, as in a friendly 
 country, and recruit after the fatigues of the campaign. These gen- 
 eral orders were approved of in council. Our lay hermits then went 
 about packing up their baggage and provisions, which were swung 
 in two bundles across the back of Don Alphonso's horse. We were 
 not long in our preparations, after which we sheered off from the 
 hermitage, leaving a rich booty to legal rapine in the saintly para- 
 phernalia of the two hermits ; including a white beard and a red 
 one, two rickety bedsteads, a table without a leg, a chest without 
 a bottom, two chairs without any seats, and an unmutilated image 
 of St. Pacomo. 
 
 Our march was continued the whole night, and we began to chafe 
 and feel other inconveniences, when at daybreak we hailed the 
 wood where our toils were to end. Sailors after a long voyage work 
 the ship with double alacrity at the sight of their native land. So 
 it was with us; we pushed forward, and got to our journey's end by 
 sunrise. Dashing into the thickest of the wood, we pitched upon a 
 retired and pleasant spot, where the turf was circled in by tall and 
 branching oaks, whose gigantic limbs, interwoven over our heads, 
 formed a natural vault, not to be penetrated even by noon-day heat. 
 We took the bridle off the horse to let him feed after he was un- 
 loaded. Then down we sat, pulling out of brother Antony's wallet 
 some large pieces of bread and good substantial slices of roast meat, 
 at which we began pegging with all possible pertinacity. Never- 
 theless, let our appetites be as obstinate as they might, we every now
 
 264 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 and then suspended the fray to spar a little with the flagon, which 
 returned our blows till it made us reel again. 
 
 About the end of the conflict, Don Raphael said to Don Alphonso, 
 "My brave comrade, after the confidence you have reposed in me, it 
 is but fair that in my turn I should recount the history of my life to 
 you with the same sincerity." *' You will do me a great favor," an- 
 swered the youjig man. "And an equal one to me," chimed in I. 
 " My curiosity is all alive to know your adventures, for doubtless 
 they must aiford much matter of useful speculation." " You may 
 rest assured of that," replied Don Raphael ; " and I mean to leave 
 behind me a history of my own times. The composition shall be 
 the amusement of my old age, for I am as yet in the prime of life, 
 and mean to furnish in propria persona many new hints for my com- 
 mon-place book. But we are all weary ; let us recruit with some 
 hours of sleep. While we three lie down, Ambrose shall keep watch 
 for fear of a surprise, and shall then take a nap in his turn. For 
 though, to all appearance, we are here in perfect safety, it is always 
 good to keep a sentry at the outposts." After this precaution he 
 stretched himself along upon the grass. Don Alphonso did the 
 same. I followed their example, and Lamela performed the office 
 of a scout. 
 
 Don Alphonso, so far from getting any rest, was incessantly 
 brooding over his misfortunes, and I could not get a wink of sleep. 
 As for Don Raphael, he snored most sonorously. But he awoke in 
 little more than an hour, when, finding us in a listening mood, he 
 said to Lamela, " My friend Ambrose, you may now yield to the 
 gentle influence of Morpheus." " No. no," answered Lamela, " my 
 sleepy fit is over ; and though I know all the passages of your life 
 by rote, they are so instructive to the practitioners of our art and 
 mystery, that I do not care how often I hear the tale over again." 
 Without further preface, Don Raphael began the narrative of his 
 adventures in these terms.
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 265 
 
 BOOK V. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 HISTORY OF DON RAPHAEL. 
 
 " T MADE my entrance on the stage of life at Madrid, where my 
 JL mother was an actress, famous for her dramatic and infamous 
 for her intriguing talents. Her name was Lucinda. As for my 
 father, every man must have one ; but my arithmetic is too scanty to 
 determine the number of mine. It might indeed be a matter of his- 
 tory, that such or such a man of fashion was dangling after my 
 mother at the epoch of my arrival in this system ; but then, that mere 
 fact would by no means warrant a deduction that any individual 
 gallant of the mother must therefore be the father of the child. A 
 lady so eminent as she was in so notorious and wholesale a profes- 
 sion, must have many strings to her bow ; where her blandishments 
 are most publicly lavished, her favors are most sparingly bestowed : 
 there is a show article or two for public exhibition, but her every- 
 day wares are cheap, and hackneyed to the meanest purchaser. 
 
 " There is nothing like taking scandal by the beard, and treating 
 the opinion of the world with heroic indifference. Lucinda, instead 
 of cooping me up in a garret at home, made no scruple about own- 
 ing her little bastard, but took me in her hand to the theatre with a 
 modest assurance, regardless how the tongue of rumor might babble 
 at her expense, or how the laugh of malice might peal at my unlucky 
 appearance. In short, I was her pet, and came in for the caresses 
 of all the men who frequented the house. One would have sworn 
 that nature pleaded in my favor, and inspired each of them with a 
 father's pride in the brat they had clubbed for. The twelve first 
 years of my life were suffered to waste away in all kinds of frivolous 
 amusements. Scarcely did they teach me to read and write. Still 
 less was it thought of any consequence to initiate me in the princi- 
 ples of my religion. To dance, to sing, to play on the guitar, was 
 the sum total of my early attainments. With these gifts and graces 
 for my only acquisitions, the Marquis of Leganez asked for me to be 
 about his only son, who was nearly of my own age. Lucinda gave 
 her consent without reluctance, and it was then that I began to mind 
 a little what I was about. Young Leganez could not reproach me 
 with my ignorance ; his little lordship was not cast in a scientific 
 mould, for he scarcely knew a letter of his alphabet, though he had
 
 266 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 been under private tuition for fifteen months. None of his masters 
 could make anything of him ; patience was never formed to engage 
 in so unequal a match. To be sure, they were expressly forbid to 
 exercise any severity on his noble carcass ; their orders were to teach, 
 not to torture him ; and this tender precaution, acting on a subject 
 of insufferably untoward dispositions, was the means of throwing to 
 the dogs all the mental physic they poured in ; he would none of it. 
 
 " But the verb-grinder engendered in his noddle a most ingenious 
 device, by which to keep this troublesome young lordling in awe, 
 without trenching on his foolish father's injunctions. The scheme 
 was no other than to flog me whenever that scapegrace Legauez had 
 incurred the penalty of the rod, and this vicarious execution was 
 inflicted with the utmost rigor. My consent to the transfer had never 
 been asked, and there was nothing in the act itself to recommend it; 
 so that my only chance was to run away, and appeal to my mother 
 against so arbitrary a discipline. However her maternal feelings 
 might inwardly revolt, no trace of woman's weakness could be de- 
 tected in her manner of receiving my complaint. The Leganez con- 
 nection was too important to be lost for a few whippings ; and away 
 went she, dragging her culprit into the presence of his tormentor, 
 who, by this act of hers, became master of broom field. Experience 
 had convinced him that the success of his invention corresponded 
 with its felicity. He therefore went on improving the mind and 
 manners of the little grandee at the expense of my skin. Kemorse 
 for his delinquencies was to be excited only by sympathy ; so that 
 whenever it became necessary to make a bloody example, my seat of 
 vengeance was firked most unmercifully. The running account be- 
 tween young Leganez and me was all on one side, and scarcely a day 
 passed but he sinned on tick and suffered by attorney. By the near- 
 est calculation of whole numbers, there went somewhere about a 
 hundred cuts to teach him each single letter of the alphabet; so that 
 if you multiply 100 by 24 for stupidity, and add a to the amount 
 for moral offences, you will have the sum total of the belaboring that 
 his education cost me. 
 
 " This thick and threefold companionship with birch was not the 
 only rub ; my path through this family was more beset with thorns 
 than sweetened by flowers. As my birth and connections were no 
 secret, the whole of the establishment, to the very refuse of the 
 household, the stable boys and scullions, twitted me with my shame- 
 ful origin. This stuck so terribly in my throat that I made my es- 
 cape once more, but not without borrowing my tutor's ready money, 
 amounting to upwards of a hundred and fifty ducats, for an indefi- 
 nite period, and without interest. Thus was the account settled 
 between us; since he had made a property of my hide for a scare-
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 267 
 
 crow, it was but fair that I should have a finger in the earnings of 
 his arm. For a first attempt at thieving both the plan and execu- 
 tion were hopeful. A hue and cry were raised for two days ; it was 
 hot while it lasted, but I lay snug, and they missed me. Madrid 
 was no longer a fit hiding-place ; so I took to cover in Toledo, and 
 the hounds were thrown out. 
 
 " I was just then entering into my fifteenth year. What a happy 
 fellow, at such an early age, to shape my own conduct and be in a 
 condition of forming a set of morals for myself! I soon scraped 
 acquaintance with some pleasant youths, who rescued me from the 
 dominion of prejudice, and shared liberally with me in the sin of 
 spending what was not my own. By degrees I rose in society, and 
 leagued myself with a set of professional sharpers, who found me so 
 fine a subject to work upon, that a short time, with plenty of prac- 
 tice, put me in possession of all the most desperate jobs. At the 
 expiration of five years, an itch for travelling laid hold of me. I 
 therefore took leave of my comrades, and got as far as Alcantara, 
 wishing to commence my peregrinations with the province of Estre- 
 naadura. In this my first excursion, an opportunity of keeping in 
 my hand occurred ; and I was too diligent a practitioner to let it 
 escape. As I was on foot, and loaded moreover with a pretty heavy 
 knapsack, I halted from time to time to avail myself of the shade, 
 and recruit a little under the trees which lined the highway. At 
 one of these halts I picked up two young gentlemen, who were chat- 
 ting at their ease upon the grass, and inhaling the freshness of the 
 breeze. My mode of accosting them was suited to the occasion ; 
 nor did its familiarity seem to be taken in ill part. The eldest 
 could not be more than fifteen a couple of as practicable green- 
 horns as ever fell into the hands of a man of genius. ' Courteous 
 stranger,' said the youngest, ' we are the sons of two rich citizens at 
 Placentia. Longing extremely to see the kingdom of Portugal, we 
 have each of us begged a hundred pistoles from our friends, and are 
 setting out to satisfy our curiosity. Travelling on foot as we do, we 
 shall be able to get a good way with that supply, shall we not? 
 What do you think of it ?' ' If I had as much,' answered I, ' they 
 might take me who could catch me. I would scour over the four 
 known quarters of the globe, and then set out on new discoveries. 
 Fire and fury ! Two hundred pistoles ! Why, it is an entail for a 
 dukedom ! You ought to lay by out of the interest. If it is agree- 
 able to you, gentlemen, I will club with you as far as Almeria, 
 whither I am going to take possession of an estate left me by an 
 uncle who was settled there for twenty years or upwards.' 
 
 " My young cockneys testified at once the pleasure they should 
 derive from my company. Whereupon, when we were all three a
 
 268 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 little refreshed, we trudged on towards Alcantara, where we arrived 
 early in the afternoon. No inn but the best was fit to hold such 
 guests. We asked for a room, and were shown into one where there 
 was a press with a good strong lock upon it. Supper was ordered 
 without delay ; but as some time was required to get it ready, I pro- 
 posed to my travelling companions a gentle saunter about the town. 
 The party seemed perfectly agreeable. We locked up our knapsacks 
 in the press, the key of which one of the citizens put in his pocket, 
 and out sallied we from the inn. The churches were the best lions 
 we met with in our way ; and while we were gaping about the prin- 
 cipal, I pretended to have recollected on a sudden some very urgent 
 business. ' Gentlemen,' said I to my companions, ' it has just come 
 across me that a good man of Toledo gave me a commission to say 
 two words on his behalf to a merchant who lives hard by this church. 
 Have the goodness to wait for me here ; I will be back in a moment.' 
 With this excuse, I went off like a shot in the direction of our inn. 
 The press was my point of attack I forced the lock, ransacked the 
 baggage of my young citizens, and laid a sacrilegious hand on their 
 pistoles. Poor youths ! How they were to pay their reckoning, it 
 was not for me to presume even to guess, for most assuredly I 
 stripped them of all the natural means. After this feat, I decamped 
 as expeditiously as my legs could carry me from the town, and took 
 the direction of Merida, without caring a curse what became of the 
 young brood I had plucked. 
 
 " Such a windfall as this placed me in a condition of travelling 
 merrily. Though in the very blush of youth, a certain forecast was 
 not wanting to carry me discreetly through the world, and keep my 
 head above water. It must be admitted without question, that I 
 was a youth of forward parts for my age, and unfettered by the pre- 
 judices of innocence. I determined to buy a mule, and cheapened 
 one at the first market town. My knapsack was metamorphosed 
 into a portmanteau, and by degrees I began to put on the man of 
 consequence. On the third day a man came across me singing 
 vespers, with lungs like a pair of bellows on the highway. By his 
 air, he seemed to be a musician of the church establishment, and I 
 accosted him accordingly. 'Well done, my holy howler of the 
 hallelujahs! You sing your penitential ditties at a good jovial 
 pitch. To all appearance you sol-fa with your whole heart and 
 soul.' 'Good sir,' replied he, 'I belong with your good leave, to 
 the musical department of the catholic church.; and it is my com- 
 mon practice to keep my devotion and my wind in play by the re- 
 hearsal of an anthem or two as I travel along the road.' 
 
 "With this disposition to be sociable, we soon got into conversa- 
 tion. It was clear to me that I had fallen in with a character not
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS. 269 
 
 to be despised in point of shrewdness, nor indisposed to society and 
 merriment. He was four or five-and-twenty. My companion being 
 on foot, I slackened my pace, for the pleasure of chatting with him. 
 Among other things, we talked about Toledo. 'I am perfectly 
 well acquainted-with that city,' said the brazen-lunged torturer of 
 anthems. ' It was my residence for a considerable time, and my 
 connections there are not altogether contemptible.' ' And in what 
 part of the town,' interrupted I, 'did you reside?' 'In the New 
 Street,' was his answer. ' I was hand in glove with Don Vincent 
 de Buena Garra, Don Matthias de Cordello, and two or three other 
 gentlemen of very considerable fashion. We lived together, took 
 our meals at the same mess, and, in short, were scarcely ever asunder. 
 It was a charming society !' This avowal Avas no small surprise to 
 me, for it is to be understood that the gentlemen whose names he 
 cited with so pompous an air were the very sharpers with whom I 
 had been affiliated at Toledo. ' Why, thou degenerate vicar choral !' 
 exclaimed I, ' these fine blades of whom thou hast been boasting 
 are among the number of my acquaintance also, for I too have 
 lived with them in the New Street; we were hand in glove, took our 
 meals at the same mess, and, in short, were scarcely ever asunder.' 
 ' You are a wag !' replied he, with a knowing wink ; ' that is to say, 
 you got into the gang three years ago, when I left it.' ' My motive 
 for quitting such a worshipful fraternity,' resumed I, ' was an itch 
 for travelling. I mean to make the tour of Spain. A little more 
 knowledge of the world will make me quite another thing.' ' Doubt- 
 less,' said he, ' there is no possible way but travelling to rub off the 
 rust, or to bring wit, talent, and address to perfection. It is for the 
 self-same reason that I too turned my back upon Toledo, though 
 the time glided away there very agreeably. But thanks to a kind 
 providence, which has yoked me with a laborer in my own vine- 
 yard, when I least expected it. Let us join our forces, let us travel 
 the same road, let us make a joint stock of our neighbors' purses, 
 let us rob, let us cheat, let us avail ourselves of every opportunity 
 that may offer of exemplifying our theory, and improving our prac- 
 tice, in the noble art on which our skill is employed.' 
 
 " The proposal was made in so candid a spirit, so like a citizen of 
 the world, untainted with the selfishness of your honest men, that 
 I closed in with it at once. My confidence was surrendered at the 
 first summons to the frankness with which he volunteered his own. 
 We spoke our free hearts each to the other. I dilated all my pil- 
 grimage, and he spake of most disastrous chances, of moving acci- 
 dents through which he had passed even from his boyish days to 
 this very moment of his ripe and rampant roguery. It appeared 
 that he was on his way from Portalegre, whence he had been obliged
 
 270 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 to decamp with the utmost expedition on account of a little swind- 
 ling transaction in which his luck happened not to keep pace with 
 his ingenuity. The habit he wore was sacrilegiously adopted as a 
 cloak to his person and real character, since he thought it safest to 
 be near the church, however far from God. Thus did we two share 
 all our counsel, and pledge our brother's vows, till we grew together 
 like a double cherry, and determined, with two seeming bodies but 
 one heart, to incorporate our voices and minds in some master-stroke 
 at Merida. If it took, well and good ; if not, we had only to cut 
 and run. From this moment, community of goods, that pure and 
 simple feature of patriarchal life, was enacted as a law between us. 
 Moralez, it is true, for that was my fellow-traveller's name, did 
 not find himself in the most splendid condition possible. His funds 
 were limited to five or six ducats, with a few little articles in a bag. 
 I therefore was the moneyed man of the firm ; but then there was 
 brass in his forehead for an inexhaustible coinage, and the seeming 
 of a saint when he played the devil most. So on we journeyed 
 on the ride and tie principle, and arrived in humble cavalcade at 
 Merida. 
 
 " We put up at an inn near the skirts of the town, where my 
 comrade changed his dress. When he had rigged himself in lay- 
 man's attire, we took a turn up and down to reconnoitre the ground, 
 and see if we could pick out some opportunity of laboring in our 
 vocation. Had it been our good fortune to have lived before Homer, 
 that old apologist for sharping by wholesale would have dignified 
 our excursion with a simile. 
 
 ' Not half so keen, fierce vultures of the chase 
 Stoop from the mountains on the feathered race,' &c. 
 
 To descend into plain prose, we were ruminating on the chapter of 
 accidents, and hammering out some theme for the employment of 
 our industry, when we espied a gray-headed old gentleman in the 
 street, sword in hand, defending himself against three men who 
 were thrusting at him with all their might and main. The unfair- 
 ness of the match was what stuck in my throat ; so that flying, with 
 the spirit of a prize-fighter, to see fair play, I made common cause 
 with the old man. Moralez followed up my blows. We proved 
 ourselves a match for the three assailants, and put them completely 
 to the rout. 
 
 " Our rescued friend was profuse in his acknowledgments. ' We 
 are in rapture,' said I, ' at our good luck in being here so seasonably 
 for your assistance ; but let us at least know to whom we have been 
 so fortunate as to be serviceable ; and what inducement those three 
 men could possibly have for their murderous attempt.' 'Gentle-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 271 
 
 men,' replied he, ' my obligations are too great to hesitate about 
 satisfying your curiosity ; my name is Jerome de Moyadas, a gen- 
 tleman of this town, living on my means. One of these cut-throat 
 rascals, from whom you have rescued me, professes to be in love 
 with my daughter. He asked her of me in marriage within these 
 few days ; and for want of gaining my consent in a quiet way, has 
 just attempted to force himself into my daughter's good graces by 
 sending me into the other world.' 'And may we take the liberty,' 
 rejoined I, ' of inquiring further, why you were so obdurate to the 
 proposals of this enamored swain ?' ' I will explain the whole to 
 . you at once,' said he. ' I had a brother, a merchant in this town ; 
 his name was Austin. Two months ago he happened to be at Cala- 
 trava, and took up his abode with his correspondent, Juan Velez de 
 la Membrilla. They got to be as loving as turtles ; and my brother, 
 to clinch the connection, engaged my daughter Florence to his good 
 friend's son, not doubting but he had influence enough with me to 
 redeem his pledge when he returned to Merida. Accordingly, he no 
 sooner opened himself on the subject than I consented out of pure 
 fraternal affection. He sent Florence's picture to Calatrava ; but, 
 alas ! he did not live to put the finishing hand to his own work. We 
 laid him with his forefathers three weeks ago ! On his death-bed, 
 he besought me not to dispose of my girl but in favor of his corres- 
 pondent's son. I satisfied his mind on that point; and this is the 
 reason why I have refused Florence to the suitor by whom I was 
 assaulted, though the match would have been a very desirable one. 
 But my word is my idol ; and we are in daily expectation of Juan 
 Velez de la Membrilla's heir, who is to be my son-in-law, though I 
 know no more of him, nor of his father, than if they were just 
 imported from an undiscovered island. But I beg pardon ; this 
 is an old man's garrulity. Yet you yourselves led me into the 
 scrape.' 
 
 " This tale did I swallow with a greedy ear ; and pouncing at once 
 upon a part to play, which my fruitful imagination suggested, I put 
 on an air of inordinate surprise, and ventured at all hazards to lift 
 my eyes upward to a purer region. Then turning to my father-in- 
 law, with an expression of feeling which nothing but hypocrisy could 
 personate, ' Ah ! Signer de Moyadas, is it possible that, on my arri- 
 val at Merida, I should enjoy the heartfelt triumph of rescuing from 
 foul assassination the honored parent of my peerless love ?' This 
 exclamation produced all the astonishment it was levelled to excite 
 in the old citizen. Even Moralez himself stared like an honest man, 
 and showed by his face that there was a degree of impudence to 
 which his conceptions had not hitherto risen. 'What! do not my 
 ears deceive me ?' exclaimed the old gentleman. * And are you really
 
 272 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 the son of my brother's correspondent?' ' Really and truly, Signer 
 Jerome de Moyadas,' rejoined I, with impregnable effrontery, and a 
 hug round his neck that had nearly sent him after his brother. 
 ' Behold the selected mortal of his species, to whose arms the ador- 
 able Florence is devoted I But these nuptial anticipations, trans- 
 porting as they are, must yield to the anguish of my soul for the 
 demise of their founder. Poor Austin ! He is gone, and we must 
 all follow ! I should be ingratitude personified, if my heart was not 
 lacerated and rent by the death of a man to whom I owe all my 
 hopes of bliss.' At the term of this period, I squeezed good Jerome's 
 weasand once more, and drew the back of my hand across my eyes, . 
 to wipe away the tears it had not been convenient to shed. Moralez, 
 who by this time had conned over the pretty pickings to be made 
 out of this juggle, was not wanting to play his underpart. He passed 
 himself off for my servant, and improved upon his master in lamen- 
 tation for the untimely death of Signer Austin. ' My honored mas- 
 ter Jerome !' exclaimed he, ' what a loss have you sustained, since 
 your brother is no more ! He was such an honest man I Honest 
 men are not to be met with every day. A superfine sample of com- 
 merce ! A dealer in friendship without percentage ! A dealer in 
 merchandise without an underhand advantage ! A dealer who dealt 
 as dealers very seldom do deal.' 
 
 " We had our hands to play against a man who was a novice at 
 the game. Simple and gullible, so far from smelling out the rat, he 
 took his stink for a nosegay. ' And why,' said he, ' did you not come 
 straight to my house ? It was not friendly to put up at an inn. On 
 the footing we are likely to be upon, there should be none of those 
 punctilios.' ' Sir,' said Moralez, helping me out of the scrape, ' my 
 master is a little too much given to stand upon ceremony. Though 
 to be sure, in the present instance, he is in some degree excusable 
 for declining to appear before you in this uncouth trim. We have 
 been robbed upon the road, and have lost all our travelling equip- 
 age.' ' My lad,' interrupted I, ' has lei the cat out of the bag, Signor 
 de Moyadas. This unlucky accident has prevented me from paying 
 my respects sooner. True love is diffident ; nor could I venture in 
 this garb into the presence of a mistress who was unacquainted with 
 my person. I was therefore waiting the return of a servant whom I 
 have sent to Calatrava.' 'Such a trifle,' rejoined the old man, 'must 
 not deprive us of your company ; and I insist upon it, that you make 
 my house your home fjom this very moment.' 
 
 " With such sort of hnportunity, he forced me into his family : but 
 as we were on our way, the pretended robbery was a natural topic of 
 conversation ; and I should have made light of my baggage, though 
 the loss was very considerable, had not Florence's picture unluckily
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 273 
 
 formed a part of the booty ! The old codger chuckled at that, and ob- 
 served, that such a loss was easily repaired : the original was worth 
 five hundred per cent, more than the copy. To make me amends, as 
 soon as we got home, he called his daughter, a girl of not more than 
 sixteen, with a person to have reclaimed a libertine, if beauty ever 
 possessed that power except in romance. 'You behold,' said he, 
 ' the bale of goods my late brother has consigned to you.' ' 0, my 
 good sir !' exclaimed I, in an impassioned tone, ' words are not want- 
 ing to assure me that this must be the lovely Florence : those be- 
 witching features are engraven on my memory, their impression is 
 indelible on my heart. If the portrait I have lost, the mere outline 
 of these embodied charms, could kindle passion by its cold and life- 
 less likeness, judge what must be my agitation, my transport at this 
 moment.' ' Such language is too flattering to be sincere,' said Flor- 
 ence ; ' oor am I so weak and vain as to be persuaded that my merits 
 warrant it.' 'That is right; interchange your fine speeches, my 
 children I' This was a good-natured encouragement from the father, 
 who at once left me alone with his daughter, and taking Moralez 
 aside, said to him, ' My friend, those who made so free with your 
 baggage, doubtless did not stand upon any ceremony with your 
 money.' ' Very true, sir,' answered my colleague ; ' an overpowering 
 band of robbers poured down upon us near Castil-Blazo, and left us 
 not a rag but what we carry on our backs ; but we are in momentary 
 expectation of receiving bills of exchange, and then we shall appear 
 once more like ourselves.' 
 
 " ' While you are waiting for your bills of exchange,' replied the 
 old man, taking a purse out of his pocket, ' here are a hundred pis- 
 toles with which you may do as you please.' 'O, sir!' rejoined 
 Moralez, as if he were shocked, ' my master will never take them. 
 You do not know him. Heaven and earth! he is a man of the nicest 
 scruples in money matters. Not one of your shabby fellows, always 
 sponging upon his friends, and ready to take up money wherever he 
 can get it ! Running in debt is ratsbane to him. If he is to beg his 
 bread or go into a hospital, why, there is an end of it ! but as for 
 borrowing, he will never be reduced to that.' 'So much the 
 better,' said the good burgess : ' I value him the more for his in- 
 dependence. Running in debt is a mean thing; it ought to be 
 ratsbane to him and everybody else. Your people of quality, to be 
 sure, may plead prescription in their favor ; there is a sort of privi- 
 leged swindling, not incompatible with high honor, in high life. If 
 tradesmen were to be paid, they would be too nearly on a level with 
 their employers. But as your master has such upright principles, 
 heaven forbid they should be violated in this house! Since any 
 offer of pecuniary assistance would hurt his feelings, we must say 
 18
 
 274 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 no more about it.' As the point seemed to be settled, the purse 
 was for steering its course back into the pocket ; but my provident 
 partner laid hold of Signor de Moyadas by the arm, and delayed the 
 convoy. ' Stay, sir,' said he : ' whatever aversion my master may 
 have to borrowing on a general principle, and considered as borrow- 
 ing, yet there is a light in which, with good management, he may 
 he brought to look kindly on your hundred pistoles. In fact, it is 
 only in a mercantile point of view, as an affair of debtor and 
 creditor between strangers, that he holds this formal doctrine ; but 
 he is free and easy enough where he is on a family footing. Why, 
 there is his own father ! It is only ask and have ; and he does ask 
 and have accordingly. Now you are going to be a second father to 
 him, and are fairly entitled to be put on the same confidential foot- 
 ing. He is a young man of nice discrimination, and will doubtless 
 think you entitled to the compliment.' 
 
 " By thus shifting his ground, Moralez got possession of the old 
 gentleman's purse. As for the girl and myself, we were engaged in 
 a little agreeable flirting; but were soon joined by our honored 
 parent, who interrupted our tete-a-tete. He told Florence how much 
 he was obliged to me, and expressed his gratitude to myself, in 
 terms which left no doubt of our being a very happy family. I 
 made the most of so favorable a disposition, by telling the good 
 man, that if he would bestow on me an acknowledgment the near- 
 est to my heart, he must hasten my marriage with his daughter. 
 My eagerness was not taken amiss. He assured me that in three 
 days at latest I should be a happy bridegroom, and that instead of 
 six thousand ducats, the fortune he had promised to give my wife, 
 he would make it up ten, as a substantial proof how deeply he felt 
 himself indebted to me for the service I had rendered him. 
 
 "Here we were, therefore, quite at home with our good friend 
 Jerome de Moyadas, sumptuously entertained, and catching every 
 now and then a vista vision of ten thousand ducats, with which we 
 proposed to march off abruptly from Merida. Our transports, how- 
 ever, were not without their alloy. It was by no means improbable 
 that within three days the bond fide son of Juan Velez de la Mem- 
 brilla might come and interrupt our sport. This fear had for its 
 toundation more than the weakness of our nerves. On the very 
 next morning, a sort of clodpole, with a portmanteau across his 
 shoulders, knocked at the door of Florence's father. I was not at 
 home at the time, but my colleague had to bear the brunt of it. 
 ' Sir,' said the rustic to our sagacious friend, ' I belong to the young 
 gentleman at Calatrava who is to be your son-in-law to Signor de 
 la Membrilla. We have both just come off our journey : he will be 
 here in an instant, and sent me forward to prepare you for his
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 275 
 
 arrival.' Hardly had these unaccountable tidings been announced, 
 when the master appeared in person; which stretched the old 
 fellow's blinkers into a stare, and put Moralez a little to the blush. 
 
 "Young Pedro was what we call a tall fellow of his inches. He 
 began at once paying his compliments to the master of the house ; 
 but the good man did not give him time to finish his speech, and 
 turning towards my partner in iniquity, asked what was the mean- 
 ing of all this. Hereupon Moralez, whose power of face was not to 
 be exceeded by any human impudence, boldly asserted our identity, 
 and said to the old gentleman, ' Sir, these two men here before you 
 belong to the gang which pillaged us on the highway. I have a 
 perfect recollection of their features ; and in particular could swear 
 to him who has the effrontery to call himself the son of Signer Juan 
 Velez de la Membrilla.' The old citizen gulped down the lies of 
 Moralez, like nectar, and told the intruders, on the supposition 
 of their being the impostors, ' Gentlemen, you are come the day 
 after the fair : the trick was a very good one, but it will not pass ; 
 the enemy has taken the ground before you. Pedro de la Mem- 
 brilla has been under this roof since yesterday.' ' Have all your wits 
 about you,' answered the young man from Calatrava ; ' you are 
 nursing a viper in your bosom. Be assured that Juan Velez de la 
 Membrilla has neither chick nor child but myself.' 'And what 
 relation is the hangman to you ?' replied the old dupe : ' you are 
 better known than liked in this house. Can you* look this young 
 man in the face ? or can you deny that you robbed his master ?' ' If 
 I were anywhere but under your roof,' rejoined Pedro, in a rage, ' I 
 would punish the insolence of this scoundrel who fancies to pass rne 
 off for a highwayman. He is indebted for his safety to your presence, 
 which puts a curb upon my choler. Good sir,' pursued he, ' you 
 are grossly imposed on. I am the favored youth to whom your 
 brother Austin has promised your daughter. Is it your pleasure for 
 me to produce the whole correspondence with my father on the sub- 
 ject of the impending match ? Will you be satisfied with Florence's 
 picture, sent me by him as a present a little while before his death?' 
 ' ' No,' put in the old burgess crustily ; ' the picture will work just 
 as strongly on my conviction as the letters. I am perfectly aware 
 by what chance they all fell into your hands ; and if you will take 
 a stupid fellow's advice, Merida will soon be rid of such rubbish. 
 A quick march may save you a trouncing.' ' This is beyond all 
 bearing/ screamed out the young roister, with an overwhelming 
 vehemence. ' My name shall never be stolen from me, and assumed 
 by a common cheat with impunity ; neither shall my person be con- 
 founded with that of a freebooter. There are those in this town 
 who can identify me ; they are forthcoming, and shall expose the
 
 276 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 fallacy by which you are prejudiced against me.' With this assu- 
 rance he withdrew, attended by his servant, and Moralez kept posses- 
 sion of the field. The adventure had even the effect of determining 
 Jerome de Moyadas to fix the wedding for the very time being. 
 Accordingly he went his way, for the purpose of giving the neces- 
 sary orders for the celebration. 
 
 " Though my colleague in knavery was well enough pleased to 
 see Florence's father in a humor so pat for our purposes, he was 
 not without certain scruples of conscience about our safety. It was 
 to be feared lest the probable proceedings of Pedro might be fol- 
 lowed up by awkward consequences ; so that he waited impatiently 
 for my arrival to make me acquainted with what had occurred. I 
 found him over head and ears in a brown study. 'What is the 
 matter, my friend?' said I; 'seemingly there is something upon 
 your mind.' ' Indeed there is, and something that will be minded,' 
 answered he. At the same time he let me into the affair. ' Now 
 you may judge,' added he after a pause, ' whether we have not some 
 food for reflection. It is your ill star, rash contriver, which has 
 thrown us into this perplexity. The idea, it must be confessed, was 
 full of fire and ingenuity ; had it answered in the application, your 
 renown would have been emblazoned in the chronicles of our frater- 
 nity ; but according to present appearances, the run of luck is against 
 us, and my counsels incline to a prudent avoidance of all explana- 
 tions, by quietly sneaking off with the market-penny we have made 
 of the silly old fellow's credulity.' 
 
 " ' Master Moralez,' replied I to this desponding speech, ' you give 
 way to difficulties with more haste than good speed. Such pusilla- 
 nimity does but little honor to Don Matthias de Cordel, and the 
 other gallant blades with whom you were affiliated at Toledo. After 
 serving a campaign under such experienced generals, it is not sol- 
 dierly to shrink from the perils of the field. For my part, I am 
 resolved to fight the battles of these heroes over again, or, in more 
 vulgar phrase, to prove myself a chip from the old blocks. The 
 precipice which makes your head turn giddy only stiffens my sinews 
 to surmount the toils of the way, and push forward to the end of 
 our career. 'If you arrive at your journey's end in a whole skin,' 
 said my companion, 'I will myself be your biographer, and set your 
 fame far above all the parallels of Plutarch.' 
 
 "Just as Moralez was finishing this learned allusion, Jerome de 
 Moyadas came in. 'You shall be my son-in-law this very evening,' 
 said he. 'Your servant must have given you an account of what 
 has just passed. What say you to the impudence of the scoundrel 
 who wanted to make me believe that he was the son of my brother's 
 correspondent?' ' Honored sir,' answered I, with a melancholy air.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 277 
 
 and in a tone of voice the most insinuating that ever cajoled the 
 easy faith of a dotard, ' I feel within me that it is not in my nature 
 to carry on an imposition without betraying it in my countenance. 
 It now becomes necessary to make you a sincere confession. I am 
 not the son of Juan Velez de la Membrilla.' ' What is it you tell 
 me ?' interrupted the old man, out of breath with surprise, and out 
 of his wits with apprehension. ' So, then, you are not the young 
 man to whom my brother.' . . . ' For pity's sake, sir,' interrupted 
 I in my turn, 'condescend to give me a hearing patiently to the 
 end of my story. For these eight days have I doted to distraction 
 on your daughter ; and this dotage, this distraction, has riveted me 
 to Merida. Yesterday, after having rescued you from your danger, 
 I was making up my mind to ask her of you in marriage ; but you 
 gave a check to my passion, and put a tie upon my tongue, by the 
 intelligence thatf she was destined for another. You told me that 
 your brother, on his death-bed, enjoined you to give her to Pedro 
 de la Membrilla; that your word was pledged, and that you were 
 the sworn vassal and bondman of your veracity. These circum- 
 stances, it must be owned, were overwhelming in the extreme ; and 
 my romantic passion, at the last gasp of its despair, gained breath 
 by the stratagem with which the god of love inspired me. I must 
 at the same time declare, that a trick is at the best but a mean 
 thing, and, however sanctified by the motive, my conscience recoiled 
 at the delusion. Yet I could not but think that my pardon would 
 be granted on the discovery, when it should come out that I was an 
 Italian prince, travelling through this country as a private gentle- 
 man. My father reigns supreme over a nest of inaccessible valleys, 
 lying between Switzerland, the Milanese, and Savoy. It could not 
 but occur to me that you would be agreeably surprised when I 
 should unfold to you my birth, and having married Florence under 
 my fictitious character, should announce to her the rank she had 
 attained, with all the rapture of an enamored husband, and all the 
 stage effect of a hero in tragedy or romance. But heaven,' pursued 
 I, with a hypocritical softening down of my accent, ' has visited my 
 sins by cutting me off from such a perennial stream of joy. Pedro 
 de la Membrilla was introduced upon the scene ; he must have his 
 name back again, whatever the restitution may cost me. Your pro- 
 mise binds you hand and foot to fix upon him for your son-in-law ; 
 it is your duty to give him the preference, without taking my rank 
 and station into the account ; without mercy on the forlorn condi- 
 tion to which you are going to reduce me. To be sure, it might be 
 said but then I should say it, who ought not to say it that your 
 brother had only the authority of an uncle over your daughter, that 
 you are her father, and that there is more right and reason in dis-
 
 278 ADVENTURES OF GIL RLAS. 
 
 charging an actual debt of gratitude towards your preserver, than 
 in being mealy-mouthed about a verbal promise, which would press 
 but lightly on the conscience of the most scrupulous casuist.' 
 
 " ' Yes, without doubt, that argument is indisputable,' exclaimed 
 Jerome de Moyadas ; ' and on that ground there can no longer be 
 any question between you and Pedro de la Membrilla. If my 
 brother Austin were still living, he would not think it bad morality 
 to give the preference to a man who has saved my life, nor a bad 
 speculation to close the bargain with a prince who has not disdained 
 to court our alliance. It were an absolute suicide on the part of all 
 my opening prospects, the frantic desperation of an acknowledged 
 incurable, not to dispose of my daughter "so illustriously, not to 
 solicit your highness's acceptance of her hand.' 'And yet, sir,' re- 
 sumed I, ' these things are not to be determined without due delib- 
 eration ; look at your own interests and safety with a microscopic 
 eye ; for though the illustrious channel through which my blood has 
 flowed for ages.' . . . 'You are scarcely serious,' interrupted he, 'in 
 supposing that I can hesitate for a moment. No, may it please 
 your highness ; it is my most humble and earnest request that you 
 will deign, on this very evening, to honor the happy Florence with 
 your hand.' ' Well, then,' said I, ' be it so ; go yourself and be the 
 bearer of the unlooked-for tidings ; announce to her the brilliant 
 career of her exalted destiny.' 
 
 " While the good citizen was putting his best foot foremost, to 
 instill into his daughter that she had made the conquest of a prince, 
 Moralez, who had taken in the whole conversation with greedy ear, 
 threw himself upon his knees before me, and did homage in these 
 bantering terms : ' Most potent, grave, and august Italian prince, 
 son of a sovereign supreme over a nest of inaccessible valleys, lying 
 between Switzerland, the Milanese, and Savoy, permit me to 
 humble myself at your highness's feet, in humble acknowledgment 
 of the ecstasy into which you have thrown me. By the honor of a 
 swindler, you are one of the wonders of our world. I always thought 
 myself the first man in the line; but in good truth I doff my bonnet 
 before you, whose genius seems to supersede the lessons of experi- 
 ence.' ' Then you are no longer uneasy about the result,' said I, to 
 my colleague in iniquity. ' O ! as to that, not in the least,' answered 
 he. ' I no longer care a fig for Master Pedro ; let him come as soon 
 as he pleases, we are a match for him.' Here we are, then, Moralez 
 and myself, safe seated on the saddle, and rising in our stirrups. 
 We even went so far as to begin settling the course we should pursue 
 with the fortune, on which we reckoned so securely, that if it had 
 already been in our pockets, we could not have chuckled more tri- 
 umphantly over the proverb of ' a bird in the hand.' Yet we were
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 279 
 
 not in actual possession, which is more than legal right ; and the 
 sequel of the adventure proved to us, that many things fall out 
 between the cup and the lip. 
 
 " We very soon saw the young man of Calatrava returning. He 
 was accompanied by two citizens and by an alguazil, whose dignity 
 was as much supported by his whiskers, and by the lowering over- 
 cast of his swarthy aspect, as by the weight of his official character. 
 Florence's father was of the party. 'Signer de Moyadas,' said 
 Pedro to him, ' here are three honest people come to answer for me ; 
 they are acquainted with my person, and can tell you who I am.' 
 ' Yes, undoubtedly,' exclaimed the alguazil, ' I can depose to the 
 fact. I certify to all those whom it may concern, that you are 
 known to me ; your name is Pedro, and you are the only son of 
 Juan Velez de la Membrilla : whosoever dares to maintain the con- 
 trary is an impostor.' ' I believe you implicitly, master alguazil,' 
 said the good creature Jerome de'Moyadas, rather dryly. ' Your evi- 
 dence is gospel to me, as well as that of these fair and honest trades- 
 men you have brought with you. I am fully satisfied that the young 
 gentleman on whose behalf you come is the only son of my brother's 
 correspondent. But what is that to me ? I am no longer in the 
 humor to give him my daughter; so there is an end of that.' 
 
 " ' Oh ! then it is quite another matter,' said the alguazil. ' I 
 only come to your house for the purpose of assuring you that this 
 young man is no impostor. You have the authority of a parent 
 over your child, and no one has any right to dictate to you how you 
 are to marry her, and whether you will or no.' ' Neither do I on 
 my part,' interrupted Pedro, ' pretend to lay any force on the incli- 
 nations of Signer de Moyadas ; but he will perhaps allow me to ask 
 him why he has so suddenly changed his resolution. Has he any 
 reason to be dissatisfied with me ? Alas ! let me at least understand 
 that, in losing the sweet hope of becoming his son-in-law, my pro- 
 mised bliss has not been wrested from me by any misconduct of my 
 own.' ' I have no complaint to make of you,' answered the old man ; 
 ' nay, I will even tell you more ; it is with sincere sorrow that I find 
 myself under the necessity of breaking my word with you, and I 
 heartily beseech you to forgive me for having done so. I am per- 
 suaded that you are too generous to bear me any ill-will for having 
 thrown the balance into the scale of a rival, who has saved my life. ' 
 You see him here,' pursued he, introducing my noble self; 'this is 
 the illustrious personage who threw round me the shield of his pro- 
 tection in my great peril: and, the better still to apologize for my 
 seemingly harsh treatment of yourself, you are to know that he is 
 an Italian prince.' 
 
 " At these last words, Pedro was dumfounded, and looked as if
 
 280 AD VENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 he could not help it. The two tradesmen opened their eyes as wide 
 as they could stare, with surprise at finding themselves for the first 
 time in princely society. But the alguazil, in the habit of looking 
 at things with the cross eye of suspicion, divined most perspicuously 
 that this marvellous adventure must be a complete humbug ; and 
 the verification of the prophecy was calculated to put money into 
 the pocket of the prophet. He therefore conned over my counte- 
 nance with a very inquisitive regard ; but as my features, which 
 were new to justice, threw him out most cruelly from hunting 
 down the game he was in chase of, he had no alternative but to try 
 his luck on my companion. Unfortunately for my highness of the 
 inaccessible valleys, he knew again the hang-dog features of Mor- 
 alez ; and recollecting to have seen him within the purlieus of a 
 jail, 'Ay, ay 1' exclaimed he, ' this is one of my established custom- 
 ers. This gentleman is a particular acquaintance of mine, and you 
 may take his character from me for* one of the rankest rascals within 
 the kingdoms and principalities of Spain.' ' Softly ! look before 
 you leap, most adventurous alguazil,' .said Jerome de Moyadas ; 
 ' this lad, of whom you draw so unfavorable a picture, is in the 
 travelling retinue of a prince.' ' So much the better,' retorted the 
 alguazil ; ' a man would not desire clearer evidence on which to 
 bring in his verdict. If we can but hang the servant, we shall soon 
 send the master to the devil. The case is as undeniable as a feed 
 counsel's plea ; these pleasant sparks are a couple of fortune-hunt- 
 ers, who have laid their heads together to take you in. I am an 
 old hound upon this scent; so that, by way of proof presumptive 
 that these merry vagabonds are within the contemplation of the 
 law in that case provided, I shall lodge them where they will be 
 well taken care of. They will have plenty of time for meditation 
 under the chastising philosophy of a turnkey ; or should confine- 
 ment fail to mend their morals, we have a sort of tangible discip- 
 line, which insinuates reformation by the inlet of a smarting hide.' 
 ' Stop there, and bethink you in good time, master officer,' rejoined 
 the old gentleman : ' we must not draw the cord tighter than it will 
 bear. You never make any bones, you hangers-on of the law, about 
 hurting the feelings of better men than yourselves. May not this 
 servant be a common cheat, without his master being a swindler ? 
 Princes are persons of honor as a matter of course; yet the retainers 
 to a court are inordinate rascals; it requires no conjurer to find 
 that out.' 'Are you playing into the hands of your deluders, with 
 your princes ?' interrupted the alguazil. ' This new manufacturer of 
 false pretences is a proficient, take my word for it ; but I shall 
 quench his zeal in the service, and gravel the ingenuity of his part- 
 ner, with a whereas and a commitment in due form. The scouts of
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 281 
 
 justice are all round the door, who will worry their game every inch 
 of the chase, if they do not suffer themselves to be taken quietly on 
 their form. So come along, may it please your serene highness ; let 
 us proceed to our destination.' 
 
 " This upshot of the business was a death-blow to me, as well as 
 to Moralez ; and our confusion did but infuse doubts into the mind 
 of Jerome de Moyadas, or rather burned, sunk, and destroyed us in 
 his esteem. He began rather to think, not without reason, that we 
 had some little design to impose on his credulity. Nevertheless he 
 acted on this occasion in the spirit of a man of honor and a gentle- 
 man. ' My good friend and protector,' said he to the alguazil, ' your 
 conjectures may be without foundation ; on the other hand, they 
 may turn out to have too much truth in them. Whichever of these 
 alternatives may be the fact, let us not look too curiously into their 
 characters. They are both young, and have time enough for 
 amendment if they want it ; let them go their ways, and withdraw 
 whithersoever it may best please them. Make no opposition, I be- 
 seech you, to their safe egress ; it is a favor which you may consider 
 as done to me, and my motive for asking it is to acquit myself of my 
 debt to them.' ' If my heart was not too soft for my profession,' 
 answered the alguazil, ' I should lodge these pretty gentlemen in 
 limbo, in defiance of all your pleadings in their favor ; but your 
 eloquence and my susceptibility have relax.ed the stern demeanor of 
 justice for this evening. Let them, however, leave town on the spur 
 of the occasion ; for if I come across them to-morrow, and there is 
 any faith in an alguazil, they shall see such sport as will be no sport 
 for them.' 
 
 " When it was signified to Moralez and me, culprits as we were, 
 that we were to be let off scot free, we polished up the brass upon 
 our foreheads a little. It was time now to bounce and swagger, and 
 to maintain that we were men of undeniable respectability ; but the 
 alguazil looked askew at us, and muttered that least said was 
 soonest mended. I do not know how, but those gentry have a 
 strange knack of curbing our genius; they are complete lords of 
 the ascendant. Florence and her dowry, therefore, were lost to 
 Pedro de la Membrilla by a turn of the dice, and we may conclude 
 that he was received as the son-in-law of Jerome de Moyadas. I 
 took to my heels with my companion. We blundered on the road 
 to Truxillo, with the consolation at our hearts of having at least 
 pocketed a hundred pistoles by our frolic. An hour before night- 
 fall we passed through a little village, with the intention of putting 
 up for the evening at the next stage. An inn of very tolerable ap- 
 pearance for the place attracted our notice. The landlord and 
 landlady were sitting at the door, on a long bench such as usually
 
 282 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 graces a pot-house porch. Our host, a tall man, withered, and with 
 one foot in the grave, was tinkling on a cracked guitar to the un- 
 bounded emolument of his wife, whose faculties seemed to hang in 
 rapture on the performance. 'Gentlemen,' cried out the intrepid 
 tavern-keeper, when he found that we were not upon the halt, ' you 
 will do well to stop here ; you will fare worse farther off. There is 
 a devil of a three leagues to the nearest village, and you will find 
 nothing to make you amends for what you leave behind ; you may 
 assure yourselves of that. Take a word of advice, know when you 
 are well used ; I will treat you with the fat of the land, and charge 
 you at the lowest rate.' There was no resisting such a plea. We 
 came up to our courteous entertainers, paid them the compliments 
 of course, and sitting down by their side, the conversation was sup- 
 ported by all four on the different topics of the day. Our host an- 
 nounced himself as an officer of the Holy Brotherhood, and his rib 
 was a fat, laughing squab of a woman, with outward good nature, 
 but with an eye to make the most of her commodities. 
 
 " Our discourse was broken in upon by the arrival of from twelve 
 to fifteen riders, some mounted on mules, others on horseback, 
 followed by about thirty sumpter-mules laden with packages. ' Ah, 
 what a princely retinue !' exclaimed the landlord at the sight of so 
 much company ; ' where can I put them all ?' In an instant the 
 village was crammed full of men and beasts. As luck would have 
 it, there was near the inn an immense barn, where the sumpter- 
 mules and their packages were secured ; the saddle-mules and horses 
 were taken care of in other places. As for their masters, they 
 thought less about bespeaking beds than about calling for the bill 
 of fare, and ordering a good supper. The host and hostess, with a 
 servant girl whom they kept, were all upon the alert to make things 
 agreeable. They laid a heavy hand upon all the fowls in the 
 poultry-yard. These precious roasts, with some undisguised rabbits, 
 cats in the masquerade of a fricassee, and a deluging tureen of soup, 
 stinking of cabbage and greasy with mutton fat, were enough to 
 have given a sickener to the inveterate stomachs of a regiment. 
 
 " As for Moralez and myself, we cast a scrutinizing eye on these 
 troopers ; nor were they behindhand in passing their secret judg- 
 ments upon us. At last we came together in conversation, and it 
 was proposed on our part, if they had no objection, that we should 
 all sup together. They assured us that they should be extremely 
 happy in our company. Here we are, then, all seated round the 
 table. There was one among them who seemed to take the lead ; 
 and for whom the rest, though in the main they were on the most 
 intimate terms with him, thought it necessary on some occasions to 
 testify their deference. In case of a dispute, this high gentleman
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 283 
 
 assumed the umpire; he talked in a tone above the common pitch, 
 going so far sometimes as to contradict in no very courtly phrase 
 the sentiments of others, who, far from giving him back his own, 
 were ready to swear to his assertions and crouch under his rebuke. 
 By accident the discourse turned on Andalusia. Moralez happening 
 to launch out into the praise of Seville, the man about whom I have 
 been talking said to him, ' My good fellow-traveller, you are ringing 
 the chimes on the city which gave birth to me ; at least I am a 
 native of the neighborhood, since the little town of Mayrena is 
 answerable for my appearance in the world.' ' I have the same 
 story to tell you,' answered my companion. ' I am also of Mayrena, 
 .and it is scarcely possible but that our families should be acquainted. 
 Whose son are you?' 'An honest notary's/ replied the stranger, 
 ' by name Martin Moralez.' ' As fate will have it,' exclaimed my 
 comrade with emotion, 'the adventure is very remarkable! You 
 are, then, my eldest brother, Manuel Moralez.' ' Exactly so,' said 
 the other ; ' and if my senses do not deceive me, you your very self 
 are my little brother Lewis, whom I left in the cradle when I turned 
 my back upon my father's house?' ' You are right in your conjec- 
 tures,' answered my honest colleague. At this discovery, they both 
 got up from table, and almost hugged the breath out of each other's 
 bodies. At last Signor Manuel said to the company, ' Gentlemen, 
 this circumstance is altogether marvellous. By mere chance, I 
 have met with a brother, and have been challenged by him, whom 
 I have not seen for more than twenty years : allow me to introduce 
 him.' At once all the travellers, who had risen from their seats 
 out of curiosity and good manners, paid their compliments to the 
 younger Moralez, and made him run the gauntlet through their 
 salutations. When these were over, the party returned to the 
 table ; nor did they think any more of an adjournment. Bedtime 
 never entered into their heads. The two brothers sat next to one 
 another, and talked in a whisper about their family affairs; the 
 other guests plied the bottle, and made merry in a louder key. 
 
 " Lewis had a long conference with Manuel, and afterwards 
 taking me aside, said to me, 'All these troopers belong to the 
 household of the Count de Montanos, whom the king has very lately 
 appointed to the vice-regal government of Majorca. They are con- 
 voying the equipage of the viceroy to Alicant, where they are to 
 embark. My brother, who has risen to be steward to that noble- 
 man, proposes to take me along with him ; and on the difficulty I 
 started about leaving you, he told me that if you would be of the 
 party, he would procure you a good berth. My dear friend,' 
 pursued he, ' I advise you not to stand out against this proposal. 
 Let us take flight together for the island of Majorca. If we find
 
 284 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 our quarters pleasant, we will fix there ; and if they are otherwise, 
 we have nothing to do but to return into Spain.' 
 
 " I accepted the proposal with the best grace possible. What a 
 reenforcement, in the person of young Moralez and myself, to the 
 household of the count ! We took our departure in a body from the 
 inn, before daybreak. We got to the city of Alicant by long stages, 
 and there I bought a guitar, and arranged my dress in a manner 
 suited to my new destination before we embarked. Nothing ran in 
 my head but the island of Majorca, and Lewis Moralez was a new 
 man as well as myself. It should seem as though we had bid fare- 
 well to the rogueries of this wicked world. Yet, not to play the 
 liar in the ear of so rigorous a confessor as my own conscience, we 
 had a mind not to pass for villains incarnate, now that we had got 
 into company that had some pretensions to decency : and that was 
 the sum total of our honesty. The natural bent of our genius 
 remained much the same ; we were still men of business, but just 
 now keeping a vacation. In short, we went on board gallantly and 
 gayly in this lucid interval of innocence, and had no idea but of 
 landing at Majorca under the especial care of Neptune and ^)olus. 
 Hardly, however, had we cleared the gulf of Alicant, when a sudden 
 and violent storm arose, enough to have frightened better men. 
 Now is my opportunity, or never, to speak of moving accidents by 
 flood ; to set the atmosphere on fire, and give a louder explosion to 
 the thunder-cloud ; to compare the whistling of the winds to the 
 factions of a populace, and the rolling of the waves to the shock of 
 conflicting hosts; with other such old-fashioned phraseologies as 
 have been heirlooms of Parnassus from time immemorial. But it is 
 useless to be poetical without invention. Suffice it therefore to 
 say, in slang metaphor, that the storm was a devil of a storm, and 
 obliged us to stand in for the point of Cabrera. This is a desert 
 island, with a small fort, at that time garrisoned by an officer and 
 five or six soldiers. Our reception was hospitable and cordial. 
 
 " As it was necessary for us to stay there some days, for the pur- 
 pose of refitting our sails and rigging, we devised various kinds of 
 amusements to keep off the foul fiend melancholy. Every one did 
 as seemed good in his own eyes : some played at cards, others di- 
 verted themselves in other ways ; but as for me, I went about ex- 
 ploring the island, with such of our gentry as had either a curiosity 
 or a taste for the picturesque. We were frequently obliged to clam- 
 ber from rock to rock ; for the face of the country is rugged, and the 
 soil scanty, presenting a scene difficult of access, but interesting from 
 its wildness. One day, while we were speculating on these dry and 
 barren prospects, and extracting a moral from the vagaries of nature, 
 who can swell into the fruitful mother and the copious nurse, or
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 285 
 
 shrink into the lean and loathsome skeleton, as she pleases, our sense 
 was all at once regaled with a most delicious fragrance. We turned 
 as with a common impulse towards the east, whence the scent gale 
 seemed to come. To our utter astonishment, we discovered among 
 the rocks a green plat of considerable dimensions, gay with honey- 
 suckles more luxuriant and more odorous than even those which 
 thrive so greatly in the climate of Andalusia. We were not sorry to 
 approach nearer these delicious shrubs, which were wasting their 
 sweetness in such unchecked profusion, when it turned out that they 
 lined the entrance to a very deep cavern. The opening was wide, 
 and the recess in consequence partially illuminated. We were de- 
 termined to explore ; and descended by some stone steps overgrown 
 with flowers on each side, so that it was difficult to say whether the 
 approach was formed by art or nature. When we had got down, we 
 saw several little streams winding over a sand, the yellow lustre of 
 which outrivalled gold. These drew their sources from the contin- 
 ual distillation of the rock within, and lost themselves again in the 
 hollows of the ground. The water looked so clear, that we were 
 tempted to drink of it; and such was its freshness, that we made a 
 party to return the next day, with some bottles of generous wine, 
 which we were persuaded would acquire new zest from the retreat 
 where they were to be quaffed. 
 
 " It was not without regret that we left so agreeable a place ; nor 
 did we omit, on our return to the fort, boasting among our comrades 
 of so interesting a discovery. The commander of the fortress, how- 
 ever, with the warmest professions of friendship, warned us against 
 going any more to the cavern, with which we were so much de- 
 lighted. 'And why so ?' said I ; ' is there anything to be afraid of?' 
 'Most undoubtedly,' answered he. 'The corsairs of Algiers and 
 Tripoli sometimes land upon this island, for the purpose of watering 
 at that spring. One day they surprised two soldiers of my garrison 
 there, whom they carried into slavery.' It was in vain that the offi- 
 cer assumed a tone of kind dissuasion : nothing could prevent us 
 from going. We fancied that he meant to play upon our fears ; and 
 the day following I returned to the cavern with three adventurous 
 blades of our establishment. We were even foolhardy enough to 
 leave our firearms behind as a sort of bravado. Young Moralez de- 
 clined being of the party : the fort and the gaming-table had more 
 charms for him, as well as for his brother. 
 
 " We went down to the bottom of the cave as on the preceding 
 day, and set some bottles of the wine we had brought with us to cool 
 in the rivulets. While we were enjoying them in all the luxury of 
 elegant conviviality, our wits set in motion by the novelty of the 
 scene, and the echo reverberating to the music of our guitars, we es-
 
 286 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 pied at the mouth of the cavern several abominable faces overgrown 
 with whiskers ; neither did their turbans and Turkish dresses render 
 them a whit more amiable in our conceits. We nevertheless took it 
 into our heads that it was a frolic of our own party, set on by the 
 commanding officer of the fort, and that they had disguised them- 
 selves for the purpose of playing us a trick. With this impression 
 on our minds, we set up a horse-laugh, and allowed a quiet entrance 
 to about ten, without thinking of making any resistance. In a few 
 moments our eyes were opened to that fatal error, and we were con- 
 vinced, in sober sadness, that it was a corsair at the head of his crew, 
 come to carry us away. ' Surrender, you Christian dogs,' cried he, in 
 most outlandish Castilian, ' or prepare for instant death.' At the same 
 time the men who accompanied him levelled their pieces at us, and 
 our ribs would have been well lined with the contents if we had re- 
 sisted in the least. Slavery seemed the better alternative than death, 
 so that we delivered our swords to the pirate. He ordered us to be 
 handcuffed and carried on board his vessel, which was moored not 
 far off; then, setting sail, he steered with a fair wind towards 
 Algiers. 
 
 "Thus were we punished for having neglected the warning given 
 us by the officer of the garrison. The first thing that the corsair did 
 was to put his hand into our pockets and make free with our money. 
 No bad windfall for him ! The two hundred pistoles from the green- 
 horns at Placentia ; the hundred which Moralez had received from 
 Jerome de Moyadas, and which, as ill luck would have it, were in 
 my custody ; all this was swept away without a single qualm of con- 
 science. My companions, too, had their purses well lined ; and it 
 was all fish that came to the net. The pirate seemed to chuckle at 
 so successful a drag ; and the scoundrel, not contented with chousing 
 us of our cash, insulted us with his infernal Moorish witticisms : but 
 the edge of his satire was not half so keen as the dire necessity which 
 made us the subject of it. After a thousand clumsy sarcasms, he 
 called for the bottles which we had set to cool in the fountain ; those 
 irreligious Mohammedans not having scrupled to load their consci- 
 ences with the conveyance of the unholy fermentation. The master 
 and his man pledged one another in many a Christian bumper, and 
 drank to our better acquaintance with a most provoking mockery. 
 
 " While this farce was acting, my comrades wore a hanging look, 
 which testified how pleasantly their thoughts were employed. They 
 were so much the more out of conceit with their captivity, as they 
 thought they had drawn a prize in the lottery of human life. The 
 island of Majorca, with all its luxuries and delights, was a melan- 
 choly contrast with their present situation. For my part, I had the 
 good sense to take things as I found them. Less put out of my way
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 287 
 
 by my misfortune than the rest, I joined in conversation with this 
 transmarine joker, and showed him that wit was the common lan- 
 guage of Africa and of Europe. He was pleased with my accom- 
 modating spirit. ' Young man,' said he, ' instead of groaning and 
 sighing, you do well to arm yourself with patience, and to fall in 
 with the current of your destiny. Play us a little air,' continued 
 he, observing that I had a guitar by my side ; ' let us have a speci- 
 men of your skill.' I complied with his command, as soon at> my 
 arms were loosened from their confinement, and began to thrum 
 away in a style that drew down the applauses of my discerning 
 audience. It is true that I had been taught by the best master in 
 Madrid, and that I played very tolerably for an amateur upon that 
 instrument. A song was then called for, and my voice gave equal 
 satisfaction. All the Turks on board testified by gestures of admi- 
 ration the delight with which my performance inspired them ; from 
 which circumstance it was but modest to conclude, that vocal music 
 had made no very extraordinary progress in their part of the world. 
 The pirate whispered in my ear, that my slavery should be no dis- 
 advantage to me ; and that with my talents I might reckon upon an 
 employment, by which my lot would be rendered not only support- 
 able, but happy. 
 
 " I felt somewhat encouraged by these assurances ; but, flattering 
 as they were, I was not without my uneasiness as to the employ- 
 ment, which the corsair held out as a nameless but invaluable boon. 
 When we arrived in the port of Algiers, a great number of persons 
 were collected to receive us ; and we had not yet disembarked, when 
 they uttered a thousand shouts of joy. Add to this, that the air re- 
 echoed with a confused sound of trumpets, of Moorish flutes, and 
 of other instruments, the fashion of that country, forming a sym- 
 phony of deafening clangor, but very doubtful harmony. The 
 occasion of these rejoicings proceeded from a false report, which 
 had been current about the town. It had been the general talk 
 that the renegade Mahomet, meaning our amiable pirate, had 
 lost his life in the attack of a large Genoese vessel; so that all his 
 friends, informed of his return, were eager to hail him with these 
 thundering demonstrations of attachment. 
 
 " We had no sooner set foot on shore, than my companions and 
 myself were conducted to the palace of the bashaw Soliman, where 
 a Christian secretary, questioning us individually one after another, 
 inquired into our names, our ages, our country, our religion, and our 
 qualifications. Then Mahomet, presenting me to the bashaw, paid 
 my voice more compliments than it deserved, and told him that I 
 played on the guitar with a most ravishing expression. This was 
 enough to influence Soliman in his choice of me for hia own irame-
 
 288 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 diate service. I took up my abode therefore in his seraglio. The 
 other captives were led into the public market, and sold there at the 
 usual rate of Christian cattle. What Mahomet had foretold to .me 
 on shipboard was completely verified ; my condition was exactly to 
 my mind. I was not consigned to the stronghold of a prison, nor 
 kept to any works of oppressive labor. My indulgent master sta- 
 tioned me in a particular quarter, with five or six slaves of superior 
 rank, who were in momentary expectation of being ransomed, and 
 were therefore favored in the distribution of our tasks. The care of 
 watering the orange-trees and flowers in the gardens was allotted as 
 my portion. There could not be a more agreeable or less fatiguing 
 employment. 
 
 " Soliman was a man of about forty years of age, well made as to 
 figure, tolerably accomplished as to his mind, and as much of a 
 lady's man as could be expected from a Turk. His favorite was a 
 Cashmirian, whose wit and beauty had acquired an absolute do- 
 minion over his affections. He loved her even to idolatry. Not a 
 day but he paid his court to her by some elegant entertainment ; at 
 one time a concert of vocal and instrumental music, at another, a 
 dramatic performance after the fashion of the Turks, which fashion 
 implies a loose sort of comedy, where moral and modesty enter 
 about as much into the contemplation of the contriver as do Aris- 
 totle and his unities. The favorite, whose name was Farrukhnaz, 
 was passionately enamored of these exhibitions ; she sometimes 
 even got up among her own women some Arabian melodramas to 
 be performed before her admirer. She took some of the parts her- 
 self, and charmed the spectators by the abundant grace and viva- 
 city of her action. One day, when I was among the musicians at 
 one of these representations, Soliman ordered me to play on the 
 guitar, and to sing a solo between the acts of the piece. I had the 
 good fortune to give satisfaction, and was received with applause. 
 The favorite herself, if my vanity did not mislead me, cast glances 
 towards me of no unfavorable interpretation. 
 
 " On the next day, as I was watering the orange-trees in the gar- 
 dens, there passed close by me a eunuch, who, without stopping or 
 saying a word, threw down a note at my feet. I picked it up with 
 an emotion strangely compounded of pleasure and alarm. I crouched 
 upon the ground, for fear of being observed from the windows of 
 the seraglio ; and, concealing myself behind the boxes in which the 
 orange-trees were planted, opened this unexpected enclosure. There 
 I found a diamond of very considerable value, and these words, in 
 genuine Castilian: 'Young Christian, return thanks to Heaven for 
 your captivity. Love and fortune will render it the harbinger of 
 your bliss : love, if you are alive to the attractions of a fine person,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 289 
 
 and fortune, if you have the hardihood to confront danger in every 
 direction.' 
 
 " I could not for a moment doubt that the letter was written by 
 the favorite sultana : the style and the diamond were more than 
 presumptive evidence against her. Besides that nature did not cast 
 me in the mould of a coward, the vanity of keeping up a good 
 understanding with the mistress of a scoundrelly Mohammedan in 
 office, and, more than all the temptations of vanity or inclination, 
 the hope of cajoling her out of four times as much as the curmud- 
 geon her master would demand for my ransom, put me into conceit 
 with the intention of trying my luck at a venture, whatever risk 
 might be incurred in the experiment. I went on with my garden- 
 ing, but always harping on the means of getting into the apartment 
 of Farrukhnaz, or rather waiting till she opened a door of commu- 
 nication ; for I was clearly of opinion that she would not stop upon 
 the threshold, but meet me half way in the career of love and 
 danger. My conjecture was not altogether without foundation. The 
 same eunuch who had led me into this amorous reverie passed the 
 same way an hour afterwards, and said to me, ' Christian, have you 
 communed with your own determinations, and will you win a fair 
 lady by abjuring a faint heart?' I answered in the affirmative. 
 ' Well then,' rejoined he, ' heaven sprinkle its dew upon your reso- 
 lutions ! You shall see me betimes to-morrow morning.' With 
 this comfortable assurance, he withdrew. The following day, I 
 actually saw him make his appearance about eight o'clock in the 
 morning. He made a signal for me to go along with him : I obeyed 
 the summons ; and he conducted me into a kail where was a large 
 wrapper of canvas, which he and another eunuch had just brought 
 thither, with the design of carrying it to the sultana's apartment, 
 for the purpose of furnishing a scene for an Arabian pantomime, in 
 preparation for the amusement of the bashaw. 
 
 " The two eunuchs unrolled the cloth, and laid me at my length 
 on the proscenium ; then, at the risk of turning the farce into a 
 tragedy by stifling me, they rolled it up again, with its palpitating 
 contents. In the next place, taking hold of it at each end, they 
 conveyed me with impunity by this device into the chamber devoted 
 to the repose of the beautiful Cashmirian, She was alone with an 
 old slave devoted to her wishes. They helped each other to unroll 
 their precious bale of goods; and Farrukhnaz, at the sight of her 
 consignment, set up such an alarm of delight, as exhibited the 
 woman of the East, without forgetting her prurient propensities. 
 With all my natural bias towards adventure, I could not recognize 
 myself as at once transported into the private apartment of the 
 women, without something like an inauspicious damp upon my joy. 
 19
 
 290 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 The lady was aware of my feelings, and anxious to dissipate the un- 
 pleasant part of them. ' Young man,' said she, ' you have nothing 
 tc fear Soliman is just gone to his country-house: he is safely 
 lodged for the day ; so that we shall be able to entertain one another 
 here at our ease.' 
 
 " Hints like these rallied my scattered spirits, and gave a cast to 
 my countenance which confirmed the speculation of the favorite. 
 ' You have won my heart,' pursued she, ' and it is in my contempla- 
 tion tc soften the severity of your bondage. You seem to be worthy 
 of the sentiments which I have conceived for you. Though dis- 
 guised under the garb of a slave, your air is noble, and your physi- 
 ognomy of a character to recommend you to the good graces of a 
 lady. Such an exterior must belong to one above the common. 
 Unbosom yourself to me in confidence; tell me who you are. I 
 know that captives of superior condition and family disguise their 
 real circumstances, to be redeemed at a lower rate : but you have 
 no inducement to practice such a deception on me ; and it would 
 even be a precaution revolting to my designs in your favor, since I 
 here pledge myself for your liberty. Deal with sincerity therefore, 
 and own to me at once that you are a youth of illustrious rank.' 
 'In good earnest then, madam,' answered I, 'it would ill become 
 me tc repay your generous partiality with dissimulation. You are 
 absolutely bent upon it, that 1 should intrust you with the secret of 
 my quality, and commands like yours are not to be questioned or 
 resisted. I am the son of a Spanish grandee.' And so it might 
 actually have been, for anything that I know to the contrary ; at 
 all events, the sultana gave me credit for it, so that with consider- 
 able self-congratulation at having fixed her regard on a gentleman 
 of some little figure in the world, she assured me that it only de- 
 pended on herself whether or no we should meet pretty often in 
 private. In fact, we were no niggards of our mutual good will at 
 the very first approaches. I never met with a woman who was more 
 what a man wishes her to be. She was, besides, an expert linguist, 
 above all in Castilian, which she spoke with fluency and purity. 
 When she conceived it to be time for us to part, I got by her order 
 into a large osier basket, with an embroidered silk covering of her 
 own manufacture ; then the two slaves who had brought me in 
 were called, to carry me out as a present from the favorite to her 
 deluded lord ; for under this pretence it is easy to screen any amor- 
 ous exports from the inspection of the officers intrusted with the 
 superintendence of the women. 
 
 "As for Farrukhnaz and myself, we were not slack in other de- 
 vices to bring us together ; and that lovely captive inspired me by 
 degrees with as much love as she herself entertained for me. Our
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 291 
 
 good understanding was kept a profound secret for full two months, 
 notwithstanding the extreme difficulty in a seraglio of veiling the 
 mysteries of love for any length of time from those uninitiated, 
 whose eyes are jaundiced by their own disqualification. Neither 
 was the discovery made at last by the means of envious spies. An 
 unlucky chance disconcerted all our little arrangements, and the 
 features of my fortune were at once aggravated into a frown. One 
 day, when I had been introduced into the presence of the sultana, 
 in the body of an artificial dragon, invented as a machine for a 
 spectacle, while we were parleying most amicablv together, Soli- 
 man, to whom we had given credit for having gone out of town, 
 made his unwelcome appearance. .He entered so abruptly into his 
 favorite's apartment, as scarcely to leave time for the old slave to 
 give us notice of his approach. Still less was there any opportunity 
 to conceal me. Thus therefore, with all my enormities on my head, 
 was I the first object which presented itself to the astonished eyes 
 of the bashaw. 
 
 "He seemed considerably startled at the sight; and his coun- 
 tenance flashed with indignation on the instant. I considered my- 
 self as a wretch, just hovering on the brink of the grave; and death 
 seemed arrayed in all the paraphernalia of torture. As for Far- 
 rukhnaz, it was very evident, .in ^good truth, that she was miserably 
 frightened ; but instead of owning her crime and imploring pardon, 
 she said to Soliman, * My lord, before you pronounce my sentence, 
 be pleased to hear my defence. Appearances, doubtless, condemn 
 me; and it must strike you that I have committed an act of treason 
 worthy the most dreadful punishments. It is true, I have brought 
 this young captive hither ; it is true that I have introduced him into 
 my apartment, with just such artifices as I should have used if I 
 had entertained a violent passion for him. And yet, I call our 
 great prophet to witness, in spite of these seeming irregularities, I 
 am not faithless to you. It was my wish to converse with this 
 Christian slave, for the purpose of disengaging him from his own 
 sect, and proselyting him to that of the true believers. But I have 
 found in him a principle of resistance for which I was not well 
 prepared. I have, however, conquered his prejudices; and he 
 came to give me an assurance that he would embrace Mohammed- 
 anism.' 
 
 " I do not mean to deny that it was an act of duty to have con- 
 tradicted the favorite flatly, without paying the least attention to 
 the dangerous predicament in which I stood ; but my spirits were 
 taken by surprise; the beloved partner of my imprudence was 
 hovering on the brink of perdition ; and my own fate was involved 
 with hers. How could I do otherwise than give a silent and per-
 
 292 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 turbed assent to her impious fiction? My tongue, indeed, refused 
 to ratify it ; but the bashaw, persuaded by my acquiescence that his 
 mistress had told him the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, 
 suffered his angry spirit to be tranquillized. ' Madam,' answered 
 he, ' I am willing to believe that you have committed no infidelity 
 towards me ; and that the desire of doing a thing agreeable to the 
 prophet has been the means of leading you on to risk so hazardous 
 and delicate a proceeding. I forgive, therefore, your imprudence, 
 on condition that this captive assumes the turban on the spot.' He 
 sent immediately for a priest* to initiate me. My dress was changed 
 with all due ceremony into the Turkish. They did just what they 
 pleased with me ; nor had I the courage to object; or, to do myself 
 more justice, I knew not what was becoming of me, in so dreadful 
 a disorder of all my faculties and feelings. There are other- good 
 Christians in the world, who have been guilty of apostatizing on 
 less imminent emergencies 1 
 
 "After the ceremony, I took my leave of the seraglio, to go and 
 possess myself, under the name of Sidy Hali, of an inferior office 
 which Soliman had given me. I never saw the sultana more; but 
 a eunuch of hers came one day to look after me. He brought with 
 him, as a present from his mistress, jewels to a very considerable 
 amount, accompanied with a letter, in which the lady assured me 
 she should never forget my generous compliance, in turning Moham- 
 medan to save her life. In point of fact, besides these rich gifts, 
 lavished upon me by Farrukhnaz, I obtained through her interest a 
 more considerable employment than my first, and in the course of 
 six or seven years became one of the richest renegadoes in the town 
 of Algiers. 
 
 " You must be perfectly aware, that if I assisted at the prayers 
 put up by the Mussulmans in their mosques, or fulfilled the other 
 observances of their religion, it was all a mere copy of my coun- 
 tenance. My inclination was always uniform and determined as to 
 returning before my death into the bosom of our holy church , and 
 with this view I looked forward to withdrawing some time or other 
 into Spain or Italy with the riches I should have accumulated. 
 But there seemed no reason whatever against enjoying life in the 
 interval. I was established in a magnificent mansion, with gar- 
 dens of extent and beauty, a numerous train of slaves, and a well- 
 appointed equipage of pretty girls in my seraglio. Though the 
 Mohammedans are forbidden the use of wine in that country, they are 
 not backward for the most part in their stolen libations. As for 
 
 * These wandering priests are at present known in Africa by the name of Marabut. 
 The first gymnosophists of Ethiopia most probably were nothing more. TRANS- 
 
 LATOB.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 293 
 
 me, my orgies were without either a mask or a blush, after the man- 
 ner of my brother renegadoes. I remember in particular two of my 
 bottle companions, with whom I often drank down the night before 
 we rose from the table. One was a Jew, and the other an Arabian. 
 I took them to be good sort of people ; and, with that impression, 
 lived in unconstrained familiarity with them. One evening I in- 
 vited them to sup at my house. On that very day a dog of mine 
 died it was a pet ; we performed our pious oblations on his lifeless 
 clay, and buried him with all the solemn obsequies attendant on a 
 Mohammedan funeral. This act of ours was not designed to turn the 
 religion we outwardly professed into ridicule : it was only to fur- 
 nish ourselves with amusement, and give loose to a ridiculous whim 
 which struck us in the moment of iollity, that of paying the last 
 offices of humanity to my dog. 
 
 " This action was, however, very near laying me by the heels. On 
 the following day there came a fellow to my house, saying, ' Master 
 Sidy Hali, it is no laughing matter that induces me to pay you this 
 visit. My employer, the cadi, wants to have a word in your ear ; be 
 so good, if you please, as just to step to his office, without loss of 
 time. An Arabian merchant, who supped with you last night, has 
 laid an information respecting a certain act of irreverence perpe- 
 trated by you, on occasion of a dog which you buried. It is on that 
 charge that I summon you to appear this day before the judge ; in 
 case of failure, you are hereby warned that you will be the subject of 
 a criminal prosecution.' Away went he, leaving me to digest his dis- 
 course ; but the citation stuck in my throat, and took away my appe- 
 tite. The Arabian had no reason whatever to set his face against me ; 
 and I could not comprehend the meaning of the dog's trick the 
 scoundrel had played me. The circumstances, at all events, de- 
 manded my prompt attention. I knew the cadi's character a saint 
 on the outside, but a sinner jn his heart. Away went I, therefore, 
 to wait on this judge, but not with empty pockets. He sent for me 
 into his private room, and began upon me in all the vehemence of 
 pious indignation : ' You are a fellow rejected out of paradise ! a 
 blasphemer of our holy law ! a man loathsome and abominable to 
 look upon ! You have performed the funeral service of a Mussul- 
 man over a dog. What an act of sacrilege ! Is it thus, then, that 
 you reverence our most holy ceremonies ? Have you only turned 
 Mohammedan to laugh at our devotions and our rites ?' ' My honored 
 master,' answered I, 'the Arabian who has told you such a cock and 
 bull story is a wolf in sheep's clothing ; and, more than that, he is 
 even an accomplice in my crime, if it is one to grant such rest as to 
 peace-parted souls to a faithful household servant, to an animal with 
 more good qualities than half the two-legged Mohammedans out of
 
 294 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 Christendom. Hig attachment, besides, to people of merit and con- 
 sideration in the world was at once moral and sensible ; and at his 
 death he left several little tokens of remembrance to his friends. By 
 his last will and testament, he bequeathed his effects in the manner 
 therein mentioned, and did me the honor to name me for his ex- 
 ecutor. This old crony came in for twenty crowns, that for thirty, 
 and another for a cool hundred; but your worship is interested 
 deeply in this instrument,' pursued I, drawing out my purse ; ' he 
 has left you residuary legatee, and here is the amount of the be- 
 quest.' The cadi's gravity eould not but relax, after the posthumous 
 kindness of his deceased friend ; and he laughed outright in the face 
 of the mock executor. As we -were alone, there was no occasion to 
 make wry mouths at the purse, and my acquittal was pronounced in 
 these words : ' Go, Master Sidy Hali , it was a very pious act of 
 yours, to enlarge the obsequies of a dog, who had so manly a fellow- 
 feeling for honest folks.' 
 
 " By this device I got out of the scrape ; and if the hint did not 
 increase my religion, it doubled my circumspection. I was deter- 
 mined no longer to open either my cellar or my soul in presence of 
 Arabian or Jew. My bottle companion henceforth was a young 
 gentleman from Leghorn, who had the happiness of being my slave. 
 His name was Azarini. I was of another kidney from renegadoeain 
 general, who impose greater hardships on their Christian slaves than 
 do the Turks themselves. All my captives waited for the period of 
 their ransom, without any impatient hankering after home. My 
 behavior to them was, in truth, so gentle and fatherly, that many of 
 them assured me they were more afraid of changing their master 
 than anxious after their liberty ; whatever magic that word may 
 have to the ears of those who have felt what it is to be deprived 
 of it. 
 
 " One day the bashaw's corsairs came into port with considerable 
 prizes. Their cargo amounted to more than a hundred slaves of 
 either sex, carried off from the Spanish coast. Soliman retained 
 but a very small number, and all the rest were sold. I happened to 
 go to market, and bought a Spanish girl ten or twelve years old. 
 She cried as if her heart would break, and looked the picture of de- 
 spair. It seemed strange that at her age slavery should make such 
 an impression on her. I told her, in Castilian, to combat with her 
 terrors ; and assured her that she was fallen into the hands of a 
 master who had not put off humanity when he took up the turban. 
 The little mourner, not initiated in the trade of grief, pursued the 
 subject of her lamentations without listening to me. Her whole 
 soul seemed to be breathed in her sighs ; she descanted on her 
 wretched fate, and exclaimed from time to time, in softened accents,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 295 
 
 ' O my mother, why were we ever parted ? I could bear my lot with 
 patience, might we share it together.' With these lamentations on 
 her lips, she turned round towards a woman of from five-and-forty 
 to fifty, standing at the distance of several paces, and waiting, with 
 her eyes fixed to the ground, in a determined, sullen silence, till she 
 met with a purchaser. I asked my young bargain if the lady she 
 was looking at was her mother. ' Alas ! she is, indeed, sir/ replied 
 the girl ; ' for the love of God, do not let me be parted from her.' 
 ' Well, then, my distressed little damsel,' said I, 'if it will give you 
 any pleasure, there is no more to do than to settle you -both in the 
 same quarters, and then you will give over your mourning.' On the 
 very moment I went up to the mother, with the intention of cheap- 
 ening her ; but no sooner did I cast my eyes on her face, than I 
 knew again, with what emotion you may guess ! the very form and 
 pressure of Lucinda. ' Just heaven !' said I within myself, ' this is 
 my mother ! Nature whispers it in my ear, and can I doubt her 
 evidence?' On her part, whether a keen resentment of her woes 
 pointed out an enemy in every object on which she glanced, or else 
 it might be my dress that disfigured me ; ... or else I might have 
 grown a little older in about a dozen years since she had seen me ; 
 . . , but, however historians may account for it, she did not know 
 me. But I knew her, and bought her : the pair were sent home to 
 my. house. 
 
 " When they were safely lodged, I wished to surprise them with 
 the pleasure of ascertaining who I was. ' Madam,' said I to 
 Lucinda, ' is it possible that my features should not strike you ? 'Tis 
 true, I wear whiskers and a turban : but is Raphael less your son 
 for that?' My mother thrilled through all her frame at these words, 
 looked at me with an eager gaze, my whole self rushed into her re- 
 collection, and into each other's arms we affectionately flew. I then 
 caressed, in moderated ecstasies, her daughter, who perhaps knew as 
 much about having a brother as I did about having a sister. ' Tell 
 the truth,' said I to my mother ; ' in all your theatrical discoveries, 
 did you ever meet with one so truly natural and dramatic as this?' 
 { My dear son,' answered she, in an accent of sorrow, 'the first sight 
 of you after so long a separation overwhelmed me with joy ; but the 
 revulsion was only the more deeply distressing. In what condition, 
 alas ! do I again behold you ? My own slavery is a thousand times 
 less revolting to my feelings than the disgraceful habiliments.' . . . 
 'Heyday ! By all the powers, madam,' interrupted I with a hearty 
 laugh, ' I am quite delighted with your newly-acquired morality : 
 this is excellent in an actress. Well ! well ! as Heaven is my judge, 
 my honored mamma, you are mightily improved in your principles, 
 if my transformation astounds your religious eyesight. So far from
 
 296 AD VENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 quarrelling with my turban, consider me rather as an actor, play- 
 ing a Turkish character on the stage of the world. Though a con- 
 formist, I am just as much a Mussulman as when I was in Spain ; 
 nay, in the bottom of my heart, I never was a more firm believer in 
 our Christian creed than at the present moment. When you shall 
 become acquainted with all my hair-breadth escapes, since I have 
 been domesticated in this country, you will not be rigorous in your 
 censure. Love has been the cause of my apostasy, and he who wor- 
 ships at that shrine may be absolved from all other infidelities. I 
 have a little of my mother in me, take my word for it. Another 
 reason, besides, ought to moderate your disgust at seeing me under 
 my present circumstances. You were expecting to experience a 
 harsh captivity in Algiers, but you find in your protector a son, with 
 all the tenderness and reverence befitting his relation to you, and 
 rich enough to maintain you here in plenty and comfort, till a favor- 
 able opportunity offers of returning with safety into Spain. Admit, 
 therefore, the force of the proverb, which says that evil itself is good 
 for something.' 
 
 " ' My dear son,' said Lucinda, ' since you fully intend one clay to 
 go back into your own country, and to throw off the mantle of 
 Mohammed, my scruples are all satisfied. Thanks to Heaven,' con- 
 tinued she, 'I shall be able to carry back your sister Beatrice safe and 
 sound into Castile.' ' Yes, madam,' exclaimed I, ' so you may. We 
 will all three, as soon as the season may serve, go and throw our- 
 selves into the bosom of our family : for I make no matter of doubt 
 but you have still in Spain other indisputable evidences of your pro- 
 lific powers.' ' No,' said my mother, ' I have only you two, the off- 
 spring of my body ; and you are to know that Beatrice is the fruit 
 of a marriage manufactured in as workmanlike a manner as any 
 within the pale of the church.' ' And pray, for what reason,' replied 
 I, ' might not my little sister have been just as contraband as my- 
 self? How did you ever work yourself up to the formidable resolu- 
 tion of marrying ? I have heard you say a hundred times, in my 
 childhood, that there was no benefit of clergy for a pretty woman 
 who could commit such an offence as to take up with a husband.' 
 ' Times and seasons ebb and flow, my son,' rejoined she. ' Men of 
 the most resolute character may be shaken in their purposes : and 
 do you require that a woman should be inflexible in hers ? But I 
 will now relate to you the story of my life since your departure from 
 Madrid.' She then began the following recital, which will never be 
 obliterated from my memory. I will not withhold from you so 
 curious a narrative. 
 
 " ' It is nearly thirteen years, if you recollect,' said my mother, 
 'since you left young Leganez. Just at that time, the Duke
 
 ALVENTUKES OF GIL BIAS. 297 
 
 of Medina Cell told me that he had a mind to sup with me one even- 
 ing in private. The day was fixed. I made preparations for his re- 
 ception : he came, and I pleased him. He required from me the 
 sacrifice of all his rivals, past, present, and to come. I came into 
 his terms, in the hope of being well paid for my complaisance. 
 There was no deficiency on that score. On the very next morning, 
 I received presents from him, which were followed up by a long 
 train of kindred attentions. I was afraid of not being able to hold 
 in my chains a man of his exalted rank : and this apprehension was 
 the better founded, because it was a matter of notoriety that he had 
 escaped from the clutches of several celebrated beauties, whose 
 chains he had worn only for the purpose of breaking. But for all 
 that, so far from surfeiting on the relish of my kindness, his appe- 
 tite grew by what it fed on. In short, I found out the secret of en- 
 tertaining him, and impounding his heart, naturally roving, so that 
 it should not go astray according to its usual volatility. 
 
 " ' He had now been my admirer for three months, and I had 
 every reason to natter myself that the arrangement would be lasting, 
 when a lady of my acquaintance and myself happened to go to an 
 assembly, where the duchess, his wife, was of the party. We were 
 invited to a concert of vocal and instrumental music. We accident- 
 ally seated ourselves too near the duchess, who took it into her head 
 to be affronted that I should exhibit my person in a place where she 
 was. She sent me word, by one of her women, that she should take 
 it as a favor if I would quit the room immediately. I sent back an 
 answer just as saucy as the message. The duchess, irritated to fury, 
 laid her wrongs before her husband, who came to me in person, and 
 said, " Retire, Lucinda. Though noblemen of the first rank attach 
 themselves to pretty playthings like yourself, it is highly unbecom- 
 ing in you to forget your proper distance. If we love you better 
 than our wives, we honor our wives more than you : whenever, 
 therefore, your insolence shall go so far as to set yourselves up for 
 their rivals under their very noses, you will always be mortified, and 
 made to know your places"." 
 
 '"Fortunately the duke held his cruel language to me in so low a 
 tone of voice as not to have been overheard by the people about us. 
 I withdrew in deep confusion, and cried with vexation at having 
 incurred such an affront. At once to crown my shame and aggra- 
 vate my chastisement, the actors and actresses got hold of the story 
 on the very same evening. To do them justice, these gentry must 
 contrive to entertain a familiar spirit, whose business is to fly about 
 and whisper in the ear of one whatever falls out amiss to the other. 
 Suppose, for instance, that an actor gets drunk and makes a fool of 
 himself, or an actress gets hold of a rich cully and makes a fool of
 
 298 ADVENTURES OF GIL RLAS. 
 
 him 1 The green-room is sure to ring with all the particulars, and 
 a few more than are true. All my kindred of the sock and buskin 
 were informed at once of what had happened at the concert, and a 
 blessed life they led me with their quips and quiddities. Never was 
 there charity like theirs. Without beginning at home, heaven only 
 knows where it ends 1 But I held myself too high to be affected by 
 their jibes and jeers : nor did even the loss of the Duke de Medina 
 Celi hang heavy on my spirits ; for true it was, I never saw him 
 more at my toilet, but learned, a very short time after, that he had 
 got into the trammels of a little warbler. 
 
 " ' When a theatrical lady has the good luck to be in fashion, she 
 may change her lover as often as her petticoat ; and one noble fool, 
 should he even recover his wits at the end of three days, serves ex- 
 cellently well for a decoy to his successor. No sooner was it 
 buzzed about Madrid that the duke had raised the siege, than a 
 new host of would-be conquerors appeared before the trenches. 
 The very rivals whom I had sacrificed to his wishes, looking at my 
 charms through the magnifying medium of delay and disappoint- 
 ment, came back agai-n in crowds to encounter new caprices ; to say 
 nothing of a thousand fresh hearts, ready to bargain on the mere 
 report of my being to let. I had never been so exclusively the 
 mode. Of all the men who put in for being cajoled by me, a portly 
 German, belonging to the Duke of Ossuna's household, seemed to 
 bid highest. Not that his personal attractions were by any means 
 the most catching ; but then there were a thousand amiable pistoles 
 on the list of candidates, scraped together by perquisites in his 
 master's service, and turned adrift with the prodigality of a prince, 
 in the hope of becoming my favored lover. This fat pigeon to be 
 plucked was by name Brutandorf. As long as his pockets were 
 lined, his reception was warm : empty purses meet with fastened 
 doors. The principles on which my friendship rested were not 
 altogether to his taste. He came to the play to look after me 
 during the performance. I was behind the scenes. It was his 
 humor to load me with reproaches ; it was mine to laugh in his 
 face. This provoked his boorish wrath, and he gave me a box on 
 the ear, like a clumsy-fisted German as he was. I set up a loud 
 scream ; the business of the stage was suspended. I came forward 
 to the front, and, addressing the Duke of Ossuna, who was at the 
 play on that occasion with his lady duchess, begged his protection 
 from the German gallantry of his establishment. The duke gave 
 orders for our proceeding with the piece, and intimated that he 
 would hear the parties after the curtain had dropped. At the con- 
 clusion of the play I presented myself in all the dreary pomp of 
 tragedy before the duke, and laid open my griefs in all the majesty
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 299 
 
 of woe. As for my German pugilist, his defence was on a level 
 with his provocation : so far from being sorry for what he had done, 
 his fingers itched to give me another dressing. The cause being 
 heard pro and con, the Duke of Ossuna said to his Scandinavian 
 savage, " Brutandorf, I dismiss you from my service, and beg never 
 to see anything more of you, not because you have given a box on 
 the ear to an actress, but for your failure in respect to your master 
 and mistress, in having presumed to interrupt the progress of the 
 play in their presence." 
 
 " ' This decision was a bitter pill for me to swallow. It was high 
 treason against my histrionic majesty, that the German was not 
 turned off on the ground of having insulted me. It seemed difficult 
 to conceive the possibility of a greater crime than that of insulting 
 a principal actress : and where crimes are parallel, punishments 
 should tally. The retribution in this case would have been ex- 
 emplary ; and I expected no less^. This unpleasant occurrence un- 
 deceived me, and proved, to my mortification, that the public 
 distinguished between the actors and the personages they may 
 chance to enact. On this conviction, my pride revolted at the 
 theatre : I resolved to give up my engagements, to go and live at a 
 distance from Madrid. I fixed on the city of Valencia for the 
 place of my retreat, and went thither under a feigned character, 
 with a property of twenty thousand ducats in money and jewels a 
 sum in my mind more than sufficient to maintain me for the re- 
 mainder of my days, since it was my purpose to lead a retired life. 
 I rented a small house at Valencia, and limited my establishment 
 to a female servant and a page, who were as ignorant of my birth, 
 parentage and education as the rest of the town. I gave myself out 
 for the widow of an officer belonging to the king's household, and 
 intimated that I had made choice of Valencia for my residence, on 
 the report that it was one of the most agreeable neighborhoods in 
 Spain. I saw very little company, and maintained so reserved a 
 deportment that there never was the slightest suspicion of my 
 having been an actress. Yet, notwithstanding all the pains I took 
 to hide myself from the garish eye of day, I had worse success 
 against the piercing ken of a gentleman who had a country seat 
 near Paterna. He was of an ancient family, in person genteel and 
 manly, from five-and-thirty to forty years of age, nobly connected, 
 but scandalously in debt a contradiction in the vocabulary of 
 honor, neither more unaccountable nor uncommon in the kingdom 
 of Valencia, than what takes place every day in other parts of the 
 civilized world. 
 
 " ' This gentleman of a generation or two before the present, find- 
 ing my person to his liking, was desirous of knowing if in other
 
 300 ALVENTUKES OF GIL ULAS. 
 
 respects I was a commodity for his market. He set every engine at 
 work to inquire into the most minute particulars, and had the pleas- 
 ure to learn from general report, that I was a warm widow with a 
 comfortable jointure, and a person little, if anything, the worse for 
 wear. It struck him that this was just the match ; so that in a very 
 short time an old lady came to my house, telling me from him that, 
 with equal admiration of my virtue and my charms, he laid himself 
 and his fortune at my feet, and was ready to lead me to the altar, if 
 I could condescend so far as to hecome his wife. I required three 
 days to make up my mind on the subject. In this interval, I made 
 inquiries about the gentleman ; and hearing a good character of him, 
 notwithstanding the deranged state of his finances, it was my deter- 
 mination to marry him without more ado, so that the preliminaries 
 were soon ratified by a definitive treaty. 
 
 " ' Don Manuel de Xerica for that was my husband's name 
 took me immediately after the ceremony to his castle, which had an 
 air of antiquity highly flattering to his family pride. He told a 
 story about one of his ancestors who built it in days of yore, and 
 because it was not founded the day before yesterday, jumped to a 
 conclusion that there was not a more ancient house in Spain than 
 that of Xerica. But nobility, like perishable merchandise, will run 
 to decay ; the castle, shored up on this side and on that, was in the 
 very agony of tumbling to pieces : what a buttress for Don Manuel 
 and for his old walls was his marriage with me ! More than half 
 my savings were laid out on repairs ; and the residue was wanted to 
 set us going in a genteel style among our country neighbors. Behold 
 me then, you who can believe it, landed on a new planet, trans- 
 formed into the presiding genius of a castle, the Lady Bountiful of 
 my parish : our stage machinery could never have furnished such a 
 change ! I was too good an actress not to have supported my new 
 rank and dignity with appropriate grace. I assumed high airs, the- 
 atrical grandeurs, a most dignified strut and demeanor ; all which 
 made the bumpkins conceive a wonderful idea of my exalted origin. 
 How would they not have tickled their fancies at my expense, had 
 they known the real truth of the case ! The gentry of the neigh- 
 borhood would have scoffed at me most unmercifully, and the 
 country people would have been much more chary of the respect 
 they showed me. 
 
 " ' It was now near six years that I had lived very happily with 
 Don Manuel, when he ended ways, means, and life together. My 
 legacy consisted of a broken fortune to splice, and your sister Bea- 
 trice, then more than four years old, to maintain. The castle, which 
 was our only tangible resource, was unfortunately mortgaged to 
 several creditors, the principal of whom was one Bernard Astuto.
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 301 
 
 Cunning by name, and cunning by nature! He practiced as an 
 attorney at Valencia, and bore his faculties in all the infamy of 
 pettifogging ; law and equity conspired in his person to push the 
 trade of cozening and swindling to the utmost extremity. To think 
 of falling into the clutches of such a creditor ! A gentleman's pro- 
 perty, under the gripe of such a claw as this attorney's, affords much 
 the* same sport as a lamb to a wolf, or a dove to a kite. Nearly after 
 the fashion of these beasts and birds of prey did Signer Astuto, 
 when informed of my husband's death, hover over his victim, con- 
 cealing his fell purpose under the ambush of the law. The whole 
 estate would have been swallowed up in pleadings, affidavits, de- 
 murrers, and rejoinders, but for the light thrown upon the proceed- 
 ings by my lucky star ; under whose influence the plaintiff was 
 turned at once into defendant, and was left without a reply to the 
 arguments of these all-powerful eyes. I got to the blind side of 
 him in an interview, which I contrived during the progress of our 
 litigation. Nothing was wanting on my part I own it frankly 
 to fill him brimful of the tender passion ; an ardent longing to save 
 my goods, chattels, and domain, made me practice upon him, to my 
 own disgust, that system of coquettish tactics and flirtation which 
 had drawn so many former fools into an ambuscade. Yet, with all 
 the resources of a veteran, I was very near letting the attorney 
 escape. He was so barricaded by mouldy parchments, so immured 
 in actions and informations, as scarcely to seem susceptible of any 
 love but the love of law. The truth, however, was, that this moping 
 pettifogger, this porer over ponderous abridgments, this scrawler of 
 acts and deeds, had more young blood in him than I was aware of, 
 and a trick of looking at me out of the corner of his eye. He pro- 
 fessed to be a novice in the art of courtship. " My whole heart and 
 soul, madam," said he, " have been wedded to my profession ; and 
 the consequence has been, that the uses and customs of gallantry 
 have seemed weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable to me. But though 
 not a man of outward show, I am well furnished with the stock in 
 trade of love. To come to the point at once, if you can resolve in 
 your mind to marry me, we will make a grand bonfire of the whole 
 lawsuit ; and I will give the go-by to those rascally creditors who 
 have joined issue with me in our attack upon your estate. You shall 
 have the life interest, and your daughter the reversion." So good 
 a bargain for Beatrice and myself would not allow of any waver- 
 ing: I closed without delay on the conditions. The attorney 
 kept his word most miraculously: he turned short round upon 
 the other creditors, defeated them with the very weapons himself 
 had furnished for their joint campaign, and secured me in the 
 possession of my house and lands. It was probably the first time
 
 302 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 in his life that he had taken up the cause of the widow and the 
 orphan. 
 
 "'Thus did I become the honored wife of an attorney, without 
 losing my rank as the lady of the manor. But this incongruous 
 marriage ruined me in the esteem of the gentry about Valencia. 
 The women of quality looked upon me as a person who had lowered 
 herself, and refused any longer to visit me. This inevitably threw 
 me on the acquaintance of the tradespeople ; a circumstance which 
 could not do otherwise than hurt my feelings a little at first, because 
 I had been accustomed, for the last six years, to associate only with 
 ladies of the higher classes. But it was in vain to fret about it; 
 and I soon found my level. I got most intimately acquainted with 
 the wives of my husband's brethren of the quill and brief. Their 
 characters were not a little entertaining. There was an absurdity 
 in their manners which tickled me to the very soul. These trum- 
 pery fine ladies held themselves up for something far above the 
 common run. " Well-a-day !" said I to myself, every now and then, 
 when they forgot the blue bag : " this is the way of the world I 
 Every one fancies himself to be something vastly superior to his 
 neighbor. I thought we actresses only did not know our places ; 
 women at the lower end of private life, as far as I see, are just as 
 absurd in their pretensions. I should like, by way of check upon 
 their presumption, to propose a law, that family pictures and pedi- 
 grees should be hung up iu every house. Were the situation left 
 to the choice of the owner, the deuce is in it if these legal gentiy 
 would not cram their scrivening ancestors either into the cellar or 
 the garret." 
 
 "'After four years passed in the holy state of wedlock, Signor 
 Bernardo d'Astuto fell sick, and went the way of all flesh. We had 
 no family. Between my settlement and what I was worth before, I 
 found myself a well-endowed widow. I had too the reputation of 
 being so ; and on this report, a Sicilian gentleman, by name Colifi- 
 chini, determined to stick in my skirts, and either ruin or marry 
 me. The alternative was kindly left to my own choice. He was 
 come from Palermo to see Spain, and, after having satisfied his 
 curiosity, was waiting, as he said, at Valencia for an opportunity of 
 taking his passage back to Sicily. The spark was not quite five- 
 and-twenty ; of an elegant though diminutive person ; ... in 
 short, his figure absolutely haunted me. He found the means of 
 getting to the speech of me in private; and, I will own it to you 
 frankly, I fell distractedly in love with him from the moment of 
 our very first interview. On his part, the little knave flounced over 
 head and ears in admiration of my charms. I do really think God 
 forgive me for it- that we should have been married out of hand,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS, 303 
 
 if the death of the attorney, whose funeral baked meats were scarcely 
 cold enough to have furnished forth the marriage tables, would have 
 allowed me to contract a new engagement at so short a warning. 
 But, since I had got into the matrimonial line, it was necessary that 
 where the church makes the feast, the devil should not send cooks; 
 I therefore took care always to season my nuptials to the palate of 
 the world at large. 
 
 " ' Thus did we agree to delay our coming together for a time, out 
 of a tender regard to appearances. Colifichini, in the meantime, 
 devoted all his attentions to me : his passion, far from languishing, 
 seemed to become more a part of himself from day to day. The 
 poor lad was not too flush of ready money. This struck my obser- 
 vation ; and he was no longer at a loss for his little pocket expenses. 
 Besides being very nearly twice his age, I recollected having laid 
 the men under contribution in my younger days ; so that I looked 
 upon what I was then lavishing as a sort of restitution, which bal- 
 anced my debtor and creditor account, and made me quits with my 
 conscience. We Avaited, as patiently as our frailty would allow, for 
 the period when widows may in decency so far surmount their grief 
 as to try their luck again. When the happy morning rose, we pre- 
 sented ourselves before the altar, where we plighted our faith 
 to each other by oaths the most solemn and binding. We then 
 retired to my castle, where I may truly say that we lived for two 
 years, less as husband and wife than as tender and unfettered 
 lovers. But alas ! such a union, so happy and sentimental, was 
 not long to be the lot of humanity : a pleurisy carried off my dear 
 Colifichini.' 
 
 "At this passage in her history, I interrupted my mother. ' Hey- 
 day ! madam, your third husband despatched already ? You must 
 be a most deadly taking.' ' What do you mean ?' answered she : ' is 
 it for me to dispute the will of Heaven, and lengthen the days par- 
 celled out to every son of earth ? If I have lost three husbands, it 
 was none of my fault. Two of them cost me many a salt tear. If 
 I buried any with dry eyes, it was the attorney. As that was merely 
 a match of interest, I was easily reconciled to the loss of him. But 
 to return to Colifichini : I was going to tell you, that some month* 
 after his death, I had a mind to go and take possession of a country 
 house near Palermo, which he had settled on me as a jointure, by 
 our marriage contract. I took my passage for Sicily with my 
 daughter ; but we were taken on the voyage by Algerine corsairs. 
 This city was our destination. Happily for us, you happened to be 
 at the market where we were put up for sale. Had it been other- 
 wise, we must have fallen into the hands of some barbarian pur- 
 chaser, who would have used us ill ; and we probably might have
 
 804 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 passed our whole life in slavery, nor would you ever have heard 
 of us.' 
 
 " Such was my mother's story. To return to my own, gentlemen, 
 I gave her the best apartment in my house, with the liberty of living 
 after her own fashion ; which was a circumstance very agreeable to 
 her taste. She had a confirmed habit of loving, brought to such a 
 system by so many repeated experiments, that it was impossible for 
 her to do without either a gallant or a husband. At first she looked 
 with favor upon some of my slaves ; but Hali Pegelin, a Greek rene- 
 gado, who sometimes came and called upon us, soon drew all her 
 glances on himself. She conceived a stronger passion for him than 
 she had ever done for Colifichini ; and such was her aptitude for 
 pleasing the men, that she found the way to wind herself about the 
 heart of this man also. I seemed as if unconscious of their good 
 understanding; being then intent only on my return into Spain. 
 The bashaw had already given me leave to fit out a vessel, for the 
 purpose of sweeping the sea and committing acts of piracy. This 
 armament was my sole object. Just a week before it was completed, 
 I said to Lucinda, ' Madam, we shall take our leave of Algiers almost 
 immediately ; so that you will bid a long farewell to an abode which 
 you cannot but detest.' 
 
 " My mother turned pale at these words, and stood silent and 
 motionless. My surprise was extreme. ' What do I see?' said I to 
 her: 'whence comes it that you present such an image of terror and 
 despair ? My design was to fill you with transport ; but the effect of 
 my intelligence seems only to overwhelm you with affliction. I 
 thought to have been thanked for my welcome news ; and hastened 
 with eagerness to tell you that all is ready for our departure. Are 
 you no longer in the mind to go back into Spain ?' ' No, my son ; 
 Spain no longer has any charms for me,' answered my mother. ' It 
 has been the scene of all my sorrows, and I have turned my back 
 on it forever.' ' What do I hear ?' exclaimed I, in an agony : ' ah I 
 tell me rather that it is a fatal passion which alienates you from 
 your native country. Just Heaven ! what a change ! When you 
 landed here, every object that met your eyes was hateful to them, 
 but Hali Pegelin has given another color to your fancy.' ' I do not 
 deny it,' replied Lucinda : ' I love that renegado, and mean to take 
 him for my fourth husband.' ' What an idea !' interrupted I, with 
 horror : ' you to marry a Mussulman ! You forget yourself to be a 
 Christian, or rather have hitherto been one only in name, and not in 
 heart. Ah ! my dear mother, what a futurity do you present to my 
 imagination ! You are running headlong to your eternal ruin. You 
 are going to do voluntarily, and from impure motives, what I have 
 only done under the pressure of necessity.'
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 305 
 
 " I urged many other arguments, in the same strain, to turn her 
 aside from her purpose, but all my eloquence was wasted ; she had 
 made up her mind to her future destiny. Not satisfied with follow- 
 ing the bent of her base inclinations, and leaving her son to go and 
 live with this renegado, she had even formed a design to settle Bea- 
 trice in her own family. This I opposed with all my might and 
 main. ' Ah ! wretched Lucinda,' said I, ' if nothing is capable of 
 keeping you within the limits of your duty, at least rush on per- 
 dition alone ; confine within yourself the fury which possesses you ; 
 cast not a young innocent headlong over a precipice, though you 
 yourself may venture on the leap.' Lucinda quitted my presence in 
 moody silence. It struck me that a remnant of reason still enlight- 
 ened her, and that she would not obstinately persevere in' requiring 
 her daughter to be given up to her. How little did I know of my 
 mother! One of my slaves said to me two days afterwards, 'Sir, 
 take care of yourself. A captive belonging to Pegelin has just let 
 me into a secret, of which you cannot too soon avail yourself. Your 
 mother has changed her religion ; and as a punishment upon you for 
 having refused Beatrice to her wishes, it is her purpose to acquaint 
 the bashaw with your flight.' I could not'for a moment doubt but 
 what Lucinda was the woman to do just what my slave had said she 
 would. The lady had given me manifold opportunities of studying 
 her character ; and it was sufficiently evident that, by dint of play- 
 ing bloody parts in tragedy, she had familiarized herself with the 
 guilty scenes of real life. It would not in the least have gone 
 against her nature to have got me burned alive; nor, probably, 
 would she have been more affected by my exit after that fashion, 
 than by the winding up of a dramatic tale. 
 
 "The warning of my slave, therefore, was not to be neglected. 
 My embarkation was hastened on. I took some Turks on board, 
 according to the practice of the Algerine corsairs when going on a 
 piratical expedition ; but I engaged no more than was necessary to 
 blind the eyes of jealousy, and weighed anchor from the port as soon 
 as possible, with all my slaves and my sister Beatrice. You will do 
 right to suppose that I did not forget, in that moment of anxiety, to 
 pack up my whole stock of money and jewels, amounting probably 
 to the worth of six thousand ducats. When we were fairly out at 
 sea, we began by securing the Turks. They were easily mastered, 
 as my slaves outnumbered them. We had so favorable a wind, that 
 we made the coast of Italy in a very short time. Without let or 
 hindrance, we got into the harbor of Leghorn, where I thought the 
 whole city must have come out to see us land. The fether of my 
 slave Azarini, either accidentally or from curiosity, happened to be 
 among the gazers. He looked with all his eyes at my captives, as 
 20
 
 306 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 they came ashore ; but, though his object was to discover his lost son 
 among the number, it was with little hope of so fortunate a result. 
 But how powerful is the plea of nature ! What transports, expressed 
 by mutual embraces, followed the recognition of a tie so close, but 
 so painfully interrupted for a time ! 
 
 " As soon as Azarini had acquainted his father who I was, and 
 what had brought me to Leghorn, the old man obliged me, as well 
 as Beatrice, to accept jof an apartment in his house. I shall pass 
 over in silence the description of a thousand ceremonies, necessary 
 to be gone through, in order to my return into the bosom of the 
 church ; suffice it to say, that I forswore Mohammedanism with much 
 more sincerity than I had pledged myself to it. After having en- 
 tirely purged myself from my Algerine leaven, I sold my ship, and 
 set all my slaves at liberty. As for the Turks, they were committed 
 to prison at Leghorn, to be exchanged against Christians. I received 
 kind attention in abundance from the Azarini family ; indeed, the 
 young man married my sister Beatrice, who, to speak the truth, was 
 ho bad match for him, being a gentleman's daughter, and inheriting 
 the castle of Xerica, which my mother had taken care to let out to 
 a rich farmer of Paterna, when she resolved upon her voyage to 
 Sicily. 
 
 " From Leghorn, after having stayed there some time, I departed 
 for Florence, a town I had a strong desire to see. I did not go 
 thither without letters of recommendation. Azarini, the father, had 
 connections at the grand duke's court, and introduced me to them 
 as a Spanish gentleman related to his family. I tacked don to my 
 name, in honest rivalry of impudence with other low Spaniards, 
 who take up that travelling title of honor without compunction 
 when far enough from home to set detection at defiance. Boldly, 
 then, did I dub myself Don Kaphael. and appeared at court with 
 suitable splendor, on the strength of what I had brought from 
 Algiers, to keep my nobility from starving. The high personages 
 to whom old Azarini had written in my favor gave out in their 
 circle that I was a person of quality, so that with this testimony, 
 and a natural knack I had of giving myself airs, the deuce must 
 have been in it if I could not have passed muster for a man of some 
 consequence. I soon got to be hand in glove with the principal 
 nobility, and they presented me to the grand duke. I had the good 
 fortune to make myself agreeable. It then became an object with 
 me to pay court to that prince, and to study his humor. I sucked 
 in with greedy ear all that his most experienced courtiers said about 
 him, and by their conversation fathomed ell his peculiarities. 
 Among other things, he encouraged a play of wit ; was fond of good 
 stories and lively repartees. On this hint I formed myself. Every
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 307 
 
 morning I wrote down in my pocket-book such anecdotes as I meant 
 to rack off in the course of the day. My stock was somewhat ex- 
 tensive, so that I was a walking budget of balderdash. Yet even 
 my estate in nonsense required economy, and I began to get out at 
 elbows, so as to be reduced to borrow from myself, and mortgage my 
 resources twenty times over ; but when the shallow current of my 
 wit and wisdom was nearly at its summer drought, a torrent of 
 matter-of-fact lies gave new force to the exhausted stream of 
 quibble. Intrigues which had never been intrigued, and practical 
 jokes which had never been played off, were the tools I worked 
 with, and exactly to the level of the grand duke ; nay, what often 
 happens to dull dealers in inextinguishable vivacity, the mornings 
 were spent in financiering those funds of conversation which were 
 to be drawn upon after dinner, as if from a perennial spring of pre- 
 ternatural wealth. 
 
 " I had even the impudence to set up for a poet, and made my 
 broken-winded muse trot to the praises of the prince. I allow can- 
 didly that the verses were execrable ; but then they were quite good 
 enough for their readers ; and it remains a doubt whether if they 
 had been better the grand duke would not have thrown them into 
 the fire. They seemed to be just what he would have written upon 
 himself. In short, it was impossible to miss the proper style on such 
 a subject. But whatever might be my merit as a poet, the prince, 
 by little and little, took such a liking to my person, as gave occa- 
 sion of jealousy to his courtiers. They tried to find out who I was. 
 This, however, was beyond their compass. All they could learn was 
 that I had been a renegado. This was whispered forthwith in the 
 prince's ear, in the hopes of hurting me. Not that it succeeded : on 
 the contrary, the grand duke one day commanded me to give him 
 a faithful account of my adventures at Algiers. I obeyed, and the 
 recital, without reserve on my part, contributed more than any other 
 of my stories to his entertainment. 
 
 " ' Don Raphael/ said he. after I had ended my narrative, ^ I have 
 a real regard for you, and mean to give you a proof of it which will 
 place my sincerity beyond a doubt. Henceforth you are admitted 
 into my most private confidence, as the first fruits of which you are 
 to know that one of my ministers has a wife with whom I am in 
 love. She is the most enchanting creature at court, but at the same 
 time the most impregnable. Shut up in her own household, exclu- 
 sively attached to a husband who idolizes her, she seems to be igno- 
 rant of the combustion her charms have kindled in Florence. You 
 will easily conceive the difficulty of such a conquest. And yet this 
 epitome of loveliness, so deaf to all the whispers of common seduc- 
 tion, has sometimes listened to my sighs. I have found the means
 
 808 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 of speaking to her without witnesses. She is .not unacquainted 
 with my sentiments. I do not flatter myself with having warmed 
 her into love ; she has given me no reason to form so sweet a con- 
 jecture. Yet I will not despair of pleasing her by my constancy, 
 and by the cautious conduct, even to mystery, which I take care to 
 observe. 
 
 " 'My passion for this lady/ continued he, ' is known only to her- 
 self. Instead of pursuing my game wantonly, and overleaping the 
 rights of my subjects, like a true sovereign, I conceal from all the 
 world the knowledge of my love. This delicacy seems due to Mas- 
 carini, the husband of my beloved mistress. His zeal and attach- 
 ment to me, his services and honesty, oblige me to act in this 
 business with the closest secrecy and circumspection. I will not 
 plunge a dagger into the bosom of this ill-starred husband by de- 
 claring myself a suitor to his wife. Would he might forever be 
 insensible, were it within possibility, to the secret flame which 
 devours me, for I am persuaded that he would die of grief were he 
 to know the circumstances I have just now confided to you. 1 there- 
 fore veil my pursuit in impenetrable darkness, and have determined 
 to make use of you for the purpose of conveying to Lucretia the 
 merit of the sacrifices my delicacy imposes on my feelings. Of these 
 you shall be the interpreter. I doubt not but you will acquit your- 
 self to a marvel of your commission. Contrive to be intimate with 
 Mascarini ; make a point of worming yourself into his friendship. 
 Then an introduction to his family will be easy ; and you will secure 
 to yourself the liberty of conversing freely with his wife. This is 
 what I require from you, and what I feel assured you will execute 
 with all the dexterity and discretion necessary to so delicate an 
 undertaking.' 
 
 " I promised the grand duke to do my utmost in furtherance of 
 his good opinion, and in aid of his success with the object of his 
 desires. I kept my word without loss of time. No pains were 
 spared to get into Mascarini's good graces : and the design was not 
 difficult to accomplish. Delighted to find his friendship sought by 
 a man possessing the affections of the prince, he advanced half way 
 to meet my overtures. His house was always open to me ; my inter- 
 course with his lady was unrestrained ; and 1 have no hesitation in 
 affirming my measures to have been taken so well as to have pre- 
 cluded the slightest suspicion of the embassy entrusted to my man- 
 agement. It is true, he had but a small share of the Italian jealousy, 
 relying as he did on the virtue of his Lucretia ; so that he often 
 shut himself up in his closet, and left me alone with her. I entered 
 at once into the pith and marrow of my subject. The grand duke's 
 passion was my topic with the lady ; and I told her that the motive
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 309 
 
 of my visits was only to plead for that prince. She did not seem td 
 be over head and ears in love with him ; and yet, methought, vanitj 
 forbade her to frown decisively on his addresses. She took a pleas- 
 ure in listening to his sighs, without sighing in concert. A certain 
 propriety of heart she had ; but then she was a woman, and it was 
 obvious that her rigor was giving way insensibly to the triumphant 
 image of a sovereign bound in the fetters of her resistless charms. 
 In short, the prince had good reason to flatter himself that he might 
 dispense with the ill-breeding of a Tarquin, and yet bend Lucretia 
 to a compliance with his longings. An incident, however, the most 
 unexpected in the annals of romance, blasted his flattering pros- 
 pects ; in what manner you shall hear. 
 
 " I am naturally free and easy with the women. This constitu- 
 tional assurance, whether a blessing or a curse, was ripened into in- 
 veterate habit among the Turks. Lucretia was a pretty woman. I 
 forgot that I was courting by proxy, and assumed the tone of a prin- 
 cipal. Nothing could exceed the warmth and gallantry with which 
 I offered my services to the lady. Far from appearing offended at 
 my boldness, or silencing me by a resentful answer, she only said, 
 with a sarcastic smile, ' Own the truth, Don Raphael ; the grand 
 duke has pitched upon a very faithful and zealous agent. You serve 
 him with an integrity not sufficiently to be commended.' 'Madam,' 
 said I in the same strain, ' let us not examine things with too much 
 nicety. A truce, I beseech you, with moral discussions ; they are 
 not of my element: good honest passion tallies better with our 
 natures. I do not believe myself, after all, the first prince's con- 
 fidant who has ousted his master in an affair of gallantry; your 
 great lords have often dangerous rivals in more humble messengers 
 than myself.' 'That may be,' replied Lucretia; 'but a haughty 
 temper stands with me in the place of virtue, and no one under the 
 degree of a prince shall ever sully these charms. Regulate your 
 behavior accordingly,' added she in a tone of serious severity, ' and 
 let us change the subject. I willingly bury your presumption in 
 oblivion, provided you never hold similar discourse to me again : if 
 you do, you may repent of it.' 
 
 " Though this was a comment of some importance on my text, and 
 ought to have been needfully conned over, it was no bar to my still 
 entertaining Mascarini's wife with my passion. I even pressed 
 her, with more importunity than heretofore, for a kind consent to 
 my tender entreaties ; and was rash enough to feel my ground by 
 some little personal freedoms. The lady then, offended at my words, 
 and still more at my Mohammedan quips and cranks, gave a complete 
 set down to my assurance. She threatened to acquaint the grand 
 duke with my impertinence ; and declared she would make a point
 
 310 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 of his punishing me as I deserved. These menaces bristled up my 
 spirit in return. My love turned at once into hatred, and deter- 
 mined me to revenge myself for the contempt with which Lucretia 
 had treated me. I went in quest of her husband ; and after having 
 bound him by oath not to betray me, I informed him of his wife's 
 correspondence with the prince, and failed not to represent her as 
 distractedly enamored of him, by way of heightening the interest 
 of the scene. The minister, lest the plot should become too intri- 
 cately entangled, shut his wife up, without any law but his own will, 
 in a secret apartment, where he placed her under the strict guard 
 of confidential persons. While she was thus kept at bay by the 
 watch-dogs of jealousy, who prevented her from acquainting the 
 grand duke with her situation, I announced to that prince, with a 
 melancholy air, that he must think no longer of Lucretia. I told 
 him that Mascarini had doubtless discovered all, since he had taken 
 it into his head to keep a guard over his wife ; that I could not con- 
 ceive what had induced him to suspect me, as I flattered myself 
 with having always behaved according to the most approved rules 
 of discretion in such cases. The lady might, I suggested, have been 
 beforehand, and owned all to her husband ; and had, perhaps, in 
 concert with him, suffered herself to be immured, in order to lie 
 hid from a pursuit so dangerous to her virtue. The prince appeared 
 deeply afflicted at my relation. I was not unmoved by his distress, 
 and repented more than once of what I had done ; but it was too 
 late to retract. Besides, I must acknowledge, a spiteful joy tingled 
 in my veins, when I meditated on the distressed condition of the 
 disdainful fair who had spurned my vows. 
 
 "I was feeding with impunity on the pleasure of revenge, so 
 palatable to all the world, but most of all to Spaniards, when one 
 day the grand duke, chatting with five or six nobles of his court and 
 myself, said to us, ' In what manner would you judge it fitting for a 
 man to be punished who should have abused the confidence of his 
 prince, and designed to step in between him and his mistress?' 
 ' The best way,' said one of the courtiers, 'would be to have him 
 torn to pieces by four horses.' Another gave it as his verdict that 
 he should be soundly beaten till he died under the blows of the 
 executioner. The most tender-hearted and merciful of these Italians, 
 with comparative lenity towards the culprit, wished only just to 
 admonish him of his fault, by throwing him from the top of a tower 
 to the bottom. 'And Don Eaphael,' resumed the grand duke after 
 a pause, ' what is his opinion ? The Spaniards, in all likelihood, 
 would improve upon our Italian severity, in a case of such aggra- 
 vated treachery.' 
 
 " I fully understood, as you may well suppose, that Mascarini
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 311 
 
 had not kept his oath, or that his wife had devised the means of 
 acquainting the prince with what had passed between her and me. 
 My countenance sufficiently betokened my inward agitation. But 
 for all that, suppressing as well as I could my rising emotion and 
 alarm, I replied to the grand duke in a steady tone of voice, ' My 
 lord, the Spaniards are more generous ; under such circumstances 
 they would pardon the unworthy betrayer of his trust, and by that 
 act of unmerited goodness would kindle in his soul an everlasting 
 abhorrence of his own villainy.' ' Yes, truly/ said the prince, ' and 
 I feel in my own breast a similar spirit of forbearance. Let the 
 traitor then be pardoned.; since I have myself only to blame for 
 having given my confidence to a man of whom I had no knowledge, 
 but, on the contrary, much ground of suspicion, according to the 
 current of common report. Don Raphael,' added he, ' my revenge 
 shall be confined to this single interdict. Quit my dominions 
 immediately, and never appear again in my presence.' I withdrew 
 in all haste, less hurt at my disgrace than delighted to have got off 
 so cheaply. The very next day I embarked in a Barcelona ship, 
 just setting sail from the port of Leghorn on its return." 
 
 At this period of his history I interrupted Don Eaphael to the 
 following effect : " For a man of shrewdness, methinks you were not 
 a little off your guard in trusting yourself at Florence for even so 
 short a time, after having discovered the prince's love of Lucretia 
 to Mascarini. You might well have foreboded that the grand duke 
 would not be long in getting to the knowledge of your duplicity." 
 " Your observation is very just," answered the well-matched son of 
 so eccentric a mother as Lucinda ; " and for that reason, not trust- 
 ing to the minister's promise of screening me from his master's in- 
 dignation, it had been my intention to disappear without taking 
 leave. 
 
 " I got safe to Barcelona," continued he, " with the remnant of 
 the wealth I had brought from Algiers ; but the greater part had 
 been squandered at Florence in enacting the Spanish gentleman. 
 I did not stay long in Catalonia. Madrid was the dear place of my 
 nativity, and I had a longing desire to see it again, which I satisfied 
 as soon as possible ; for mine was not a temper to stand parleying 
 with its own inclinations. On my arrival in town, I chanced to 
 take up my abode in a ready-furnished lodging, where dwelt a lady ' 
 by name Camilla. Though at some distance from her teens, she 
 was a very spirit-stirring creature, as Signor Gil Bias will bear me 
 out in saying; for he fell in love with her at Valladolid nearly 
 about the same time. Her parts were still more extraordinary 
 than her beauty ; and never had a lady with a character to let a 
 happier talent of inveigling fools to their ruin. But she .vas not
 
 312 ADVENTURES OF GIL SLAS. 
 
 like those selfish jilts who put out the gullibility of their lovers to 
 usury. The pillage of the plodding merchant, or the grave family 
 man, was squandered upon the first gambler or prize-fighter who 
 happened to find his way into her frolicsome fancy. 
 
 " We loved one another from the first moment, and the con- 
 formity of our tempers bound us so closely together, that we soon 
 lived on the footing of joint property. The amount, in sober sad- 
 ness, was little better than a cipher, and a few good dinners more 
 reduced it to that ignoble negative of number. We were each of 
 us thinking, as the deuce would have it, of our mutual pleasures, 
 without profiting in the least by those happy dispositions of ours 
 for living at the expense of other folks. Want at last gave a keener 
 edge to our wits, which indulgence had blunted. ' My dear 
 Raphael,' said Camilla, 'let us carry the war into the enemy's 
 quarters, if you love me ; for while we are as faithful as turtles, we 
 are as foolish, and fall into our own snare, instead of laying it for 
 the unwary. You may get into the head and heart of a rich widow ; 
 I may conjure myself into the good graces of some old nobleman : 
 but as for this ridiculous fidelity, it brings no grist to the mill.' 
 'Excellent Camilla,' answered I, 'you are beforehand with me. I 
 was going to make the very same proposal. It exactly meets my 
 ideas, thou paragon of morality. Yes ; the better to maintain our 
 mutual fire, let us forage for substantial fuel. As good may always 
 be extracted out of evil, those infidelities which are the bane of 
 other loves shall be the triumph of ours.' 
 
 " On the basis of this treaty we took the field. At first there was 
 much cry, but little wool ; for we had no luck at finding cullies. 
 Camilla met with nothing but pretty fellows, with vanity in their 
 hearts, tinsel on their backs, and not a maravedi in their pockets ; 
 my ladies were all of a kidney to levy rather than to pay contribu- 
 tions. As love left us in the lurch, we paid our devotions at the 
 shrine of knavery. With the zeal of martyrs to a new religion did 
 we encounter the frowns of the civil power, whose myrmidons, as 
 like the devil in their nature as their office, were ordered on the 
 lookout after us ; but the alguazil, with all the good qualities of 
 which the corregidor inherited the contraries, gave us time to make 
 our escape out of Madrid, for the good of the trade and a small sum 
 of money. We took the road to Valladolid, meaning to set up in 
 that town. I rented a house for myself and Camilla, who passed 
 for my sister to avoid evil tongues. At first we kept a tight rein 
 over our speculative talents, and began by reconnoitring the 
 ground before we determined on our plan of operations. 
 
 " One day a man accosted me in the street, with a very civil salu- 
 tation, to this effect: 'Signor Don Eaphael, do you recollect my
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 313 
 
 face?' I answered in the negative. 'Then I have the advantage 
 of you,' replied he, ' for yours is perfectly familiar to me. I have 
 seen you at the court of Tuscany, where I was then in the grand 
 duke's guards. It is some months since I quitted- that prince's 
 service. I came into Spain with an Italian, who will not discredit 
 the politics of his country : we have been at Valladolid these three 
 weeks. Our residence is with a Castilian and a Galician, who are, 
 without dispute, two of the best creatures in the world. We live 
 together by the sweat of our brows and the labor of our hands. Our 
 fare is not abstemious, nor have we made any vow against the temp- 
 tations of a life about the court. If you will make one of our party, 
 my brethren will be glad of your company ; for you always seemed 
 to me a man of spirit, above all vulgar prejudices, in short, a monk 
 of our order.' 
 
 " Such frankness from this arch scoundrel was met half way by 
 mine. ' Since you talk to me with so winning a candor,' said I, 
 ' you deserve that I should be equally explicit with you. In good 
 truth I am no novice in your ritual ; and if my modesty would allow 
 me to be the hero of my own tale, you would be convinced that 
 your compliments were not lavished on an unworthy subject. But 
 enough of my own commendations ; proceed we to the point in ques- 
 tion. With all possible desire to become a member 'of your body, 
 I shall neglect no opportunity of proving my title to that distinc- 
 tion.' I had no sooner told this sharper at all points that I would 
 agree to swell the number of his gang, than he conducted me to 
 their place of meeting, and introduced me in proper form. It was 
 on this occasion that I first saw the renowned Ambrose de Lamela. 
 These gentlemen catechised me in the religion of coveting my neigh- 
 bor's goods, and doing as I would not be done by. They wanted to 
 discern whether I played the villain on. principle, or had only some 
 little practical dexterity ; but I showed them tricks which they did 
 not know to be on the cards, and yet acknowledged to be better than 
 their own. They were still deeper lost in admiration, when, in cool 
 disdain of manual artifice, as an every-day effort of ingenuity, I 
 maintained my prowess in such combinations of roguery as require 
 an inventive brain and a solid judgment to support them. In 
 proof of these pretensions, I related the adventure of Jerome de 
 Moyadas ; and on this single specimen of my parts, they conceived 
 my genius of so high an order, as to elect me by common con- 
 sent for their leader. Their choice was fully justified by a host 
 of slippery devices of which I was the master-wheel, the corner- 
 stone, or according to whatever other metaphor in mechanics you 
 may best express the soul of a conspiracy. When we had occasion 
 for a female performer to heighten the interest, Camilla was sent
 
 314 ADVENTUKES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 upon the stage, and played up to admiration in the parts she had 
 to perform. 
 
 " Just at that period, our friend and brother Ambrose was seized 
 with a longing to see his native country once more. He started for 
 Galicia, with an assurance that we might reckon on his return. The 
 visit cured his patriotic sickness. As he was on the road back, 
 having halted at Burgos to strike some strike of business, an inn- 
 keeper of his acquaintance introduced him into the service of Signer 
 Gil Bias de Santillane, not forgetting to instruct him thoroughly in 
 the state of that gentleman's affairs. Signor Gil Bias," pursued 
 Don Raphael, addressing his discourse to me, " you know in what 
 manner we eased you of your movables in a ready- furnished lodging 
 at Valladolid ; and you must doubtless have suspected Ambrose to 
 have been the principal contriver of that exploit, and not without 
 reason. On his coming into town, he ran himself out of breath to 
 find us, and laid open every particular of your situation, so that the 
 associated swindlers had nothing to do but to build on his founda- 
 tion. But you are unacquainted with the consequences of that ad- 
 venture; you shall therefore have them on my authority. Your 
 portmanteau was made free with by Ambrose and myself. We also 
 took the liberty of riding your mules in the direction of Madrid, not 
 dropping the least hint to Camilla nor to our partners in iniquity, 
 who must have partaken in some measure of your feelings in the 
 morning, at finding their glory shorn of two such beams. 
 
 " On the second day we changed our purpose. Instead of going 
 to Madrid, whence I had not sallied forth without an urgent motive, 
 we passed by Zebreros, and continued our journey as far as Toledo. 
 Our first care, in that town, was to dress ourselves in the genteelest 
 style ; then, assuming the character of two brothers from Galicia on 
 our travels of mere curiosity, we soon got acquainted in the most 
 respectable circles. I was so much in the habit of acting the man of 
 fashion, as not easily to be detected ; and as the generality of people 
 are blinded by a free expenditure, we threw dust into the eyes of all 
 the world, by the elegant entertainments to which we invited the 
 ladies. Among the women who frequented our parties, there was 
 one not indifferent to me. She appeared more beautiful than Cam- 
 illa, and certainly much younger. I inquired who she was ; and 
 learned that her name was Violante, and that she was married to an 
 ungrateful spark, who soon grew weary of her chaste caresses, and 
 was running after those of a prostitute, with whom he .was in love. 
 There was no need to say any more to determine me on enthroning 
 Violante the sovereign lady and mistress of my thoughts and affec- 
 tions. 
 
 " She was not long in coming to the knowledge of her conquest. I
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 315 , 
 
 began by following her about from place to place, and playing a 
 hundred monkey tricks to instill into her comprehension that nothing 
 would please me better than the office of making her amends for the 
 ill usage of her husband. The pretty creature ruminated on my 
 proffered kindness, and to such purpose as to let me know in the 
 end that my labor was not wasted on an ungrateful soil. I received 
 a note from her in answer to several I had transmitted by one of 
 those convenient old dowagers in such high request throughout 
 Spain and Italy. The lady sent me word that her husband supped 
 with his mistress every evening, and did not return home till very 
 late. It was impossible to mistake the meaning of this. On that 
 very night I planted. myself under Violante's windows, and engaged 
 her in a most tender conversation. At the moment of parting, it was 
 settled between us that every evening, at the same hour, we should 
 meet and converse on the same everlasting topic, without gainsaying 
 any such other acts of gallantry as might safely be submitted to the 
 peering eye of day. 
 
 " Hitherto Don Balthazar, as Violante's husband was called, had 
 had no reason to complain of his forehead ; but I was a natural phi- 
 losopher, and little satisfied with metaphysical endearments. ' One 
 evening, therefore, I repaired under my lady's windows, with the 
 design of telling her that there was an end of life and everything if 
 we could not come together on more accommodating terms than from 
 the balcony to the street ; for I had never yet been able to get into 
 the house. Just as I got thither, a man came within sight, appa- 
 rently with the view of dogging me. In fact, it was the husband 
 returning earlier than usual from his precious bit of amusement; 
 but observing a male nuisance near his nunnery, instead of coming 
 straight home, he walked backwards and forwards in the street. It 
 was almost a moot" point with me what I ought to do. At last, I 
 resolved on accosting Don Balthazar, though neither of us had the 
 slightest knowledge of the other. ' Noble gentleman,' said I, ' you 
 would do me a most particular favor by leaving the street vacant to 
 me for this one night ; I would do as much for you another time.' 
 ' Sir,' answered he, ' I was just going to make the same request to 
 you. I am on the lookout after a girl, over whom a confounded 
 fellow of a brother keeps watch and ward like a jailer ; and she lives 
 not twenty yards from this place. I could wish to carry on my pro- 
 ject without a witness.' 'We have the means,' replied I, 'of attain- 
 ing both our ends without clashing; for the lady of my desires lives 
 there,' added I, pointing to his own house. ' We had better even 
 help one another, in case of being attacked. 7 ' With all my heart,' 
 resumed he ; ' I will go to my appointment, and we will make com- 
 mon cause, if need be.' Under this pretence he went away, but
 
 316 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 only to observe me the more narrowly; and the darkness of the 
 night favored his doing so without detection. 
 
 " As for me, I made up to Violante's balcony in the simplicity of 
 my heart. She soon heard my signal, and we began our usual 
 parley. I was not remiss in pressing the idol of my worship to 
 grant me a private interview in some safe and practicable place. 
 She was rather coy to my entreaties, as favors hardly earned are 
 the higher valued : at length she took a letter out of her pocket, 
 and flung it down to me. ' There,' said she, ' you will find in that 
 scrap of paper the pjomise of what you have teased me so long 
 about.' She then withdrew, as the hour approached when her hus- 
 band usually came home. I put the note up carefully, and went 
 towards the place where Don Balthazar had told me that his busi- 
 ness lay. But that stanch husband, with the sagacity of an old 
 sportsman where his own wife was the game, came more than half 
 way to meet me, with this question : ' Well, good sir, are you satis- 
 fied with your happy fortunes ?' ' I have reason to be so,' answered 
 I. 'And as for yourself, what have you done? Has the blind god 
 befriended you?' 'Alas! quite the contrary,' replied he; 'that im- 
 pertinent brother, who takes such liberties with my beauty, thought 
 fit to come back from his country house, whence we hugged our- 
 selves as sure that he would not return till to-morrow. This 
 infernal chance has put all my soft and soothing pleasures out of 
 tune.' 
 
 "Nothing could exceed the mutual pledges of lasting friendship 
 which were exchanged between Don Balthazar and me. To draw 
 the cords the closer, we made an appointment for the next morning 
 in the great square. This plotting gentleman, after we had parted, 
 betook himself to his own house, without giving Violante at all to 
 understand that he knew more about her than she'wished him to. On 
 the following day he was punctual in the great square, and I was 
 not five minutes after him. We exchanged greetings with all the 
 warmth of old friendship ; but it was a vapor to mislead on his part, 
 though a spark of heavenly flame on mine. In the course of con- 
 versation, this hypocritical Don Balthazar palmed upon me a ficti- 
 tious confidence, respecting his intrigue with the lady about whom 
 he had been speaking the night before. He put together a long 
 story he had been manufacturing on that subject, and all this to 
 hook me in to tell him, in return, by what means 1 had got ac- 
 quainted with Violante. The snare was too subtle for me to escape ; 
 I owned all with the innocence of a new-born babe. I did not even 
 stick at showing the note I had received from her, and read the 
 contents, to the following purport : ' I am going to-morrow to dine 
 with Donna Inez. You know where she lives. It is in the house
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 317 
 
 of that confidential friend that I mean to pass some happy moments 
 along with you. It is impossible longer to refuse a boon your 
 patience has so well merited.' 
 
 " ' Here indeed,' said Don Balthazar, 'is an epistle which promises 
 to crown all your wishes at once. I congratulate you beforehand 
 on your approaching happiness.' He could not help fidgeting and 
 wriggling a little while he talked in these terms of his own house- 
 hold ; but all his hitches and wry faces passed off, and my eyes were 
 as fast sealed as ever. I was so full of anticipating titillations, as 
 not to think of noticing my new friend, who was obliged to get off 
 as fast as he could, for fear of betraying his agitation in my presence. 
 He ran to acquaint his brother-in-law with this strange occurrence. 
 I know not now what passed between them : it is only certain that 
 Don Balthazar happened to knock at Donna Inez's door just when 
 I was at that lady's house with Violante. We were warned who it 
 was, and I escaped by a back door exactly as he went in at the front. 
 As soon as I had got safe off, the women, whom the unexpected 
 visit of this troublesome husband had disconcerted a little, recovered 
 their presence of mind, and with it so large a stock of assurance, as 
 to stand the brunt of his attack, and put him to a nonplus in ascer- 
 taining whether they had hid me or smuggled me out. I cannot 
 exactly tell you what he said to Donna Inez and his wife ; nor do 
 I believe that history will ever furnish any authentic particulars of 
 the squabble. 
 
 " In the meantime, without suspecting yet how completely I was 
 gulled by Don Balthazar, I sallied forth with curses in my mouth, 
 and returned to the great square, where I had appointed Lamela to 
 meet me. But no Lamela was there. He also had his little snug 
 parties, and the scoundrel fared better than his comrade. As I was 
 waiting for him, I caught a glimpse of my treacherous associate, 
 with a knowing smile upon his countenance. He made up to me, 
 and inquired, with a hearty laugh, what news of my assignation 
 with my nymph, under the convenient roof of Donna Inez. ' I can- 
 not conceive,' said I, ' what evil spirit, jealous of my joys, takes 
 delight to nip them in their blossom : but after we had embraced, 
 kissed, protested, and, as it were, spoken the prologue of our comedy, 
 comes the peaking cornuto of a husband (the Furies fly away with 
 him !), and knocks at the door in the instant of our encounter. There 
 was nothing to be done but to secure my retreat as fast as possible. 
 So I got out at a back door, sending to all the inhabitants of hell 
 and its suburbs the jealous knave who was so uncivil as to search 
 another lady's house for his own horns.' ' I am sorry you sped so 
 ill-favoredly,' exclaimed Don Balthazar, who was chuckling with 
 inward satisfaction at my disappointment. 'What a mechanical
 
 318 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 rogue of a husband I I would advise you to show no mercy to the 
 wittol.' ' Oh, you need not teach me how to predominate over such 
 a peasant,' replied I. ' Take my word for it, a new quarter shall be 
 added to his coat of arms this very night. His wife, when I went 
 away, told me not to be faint-hearted for such a trifle, but to place 
 myself without fail under her windows at an earlier hour than 
 usual, for she was resolved to let me into the house ; and, as" a pre- 
 caution against all accidents, she begged me to bring two or three 
 friends in my train, for fear of a surprise.' ' What a discreet and in- 
 ventive lady!' said he. 'I should have no objection to being of 
 your party.' ' Ah I my dear friend,' exclaimed I, out of wits with 
 joy, and throwing my arms about Don Balthazar's neck, ' how infi- 
 nitely you will oblige me !' ' I will do more,' resumed he ; ' I know a 
 young man, armed like another Caesar, for either field of love or 
 war ; he shall be of our number, and you may then rely boldly on 
 the sufficiency of your escort.' 
 
 " I knew not in what words to thanks this seeming friend, so that 
 my gratitude might be equivalent to his zeal. To make short of 
 the matter, I accepted his proffered aid. Our meeting was fixed 
 under Violante's balcony early in the evening, and we parted. He 
 went in quest of his brother-in-law, who was the hero in question. 
 As for me, I walked about all day with Lamela, who had no more 
 misgivings than myself, though somewhat astonished at the warmth 
 with which Don Balthazar engaged in my interests. We slipped 
 our own necks completely into the noose. I own this was mere in- 
 fatuation on our parts, whose natural instinct ought to have warned 
 us of a halter. When I thought it proper time to present myself 
 under Violante's windows, Ambrose and I took care to be armed 
 with small-swords. There we found the husband of my fair dame 
 and another man, waiting for us with a very determined air. Don 
 Balthazar accosted me, and introducing his brother-in-law, said, 
 'Sir, this is the brave officer whose prowess I have extolled so 
 highly to you. Make the best of your way into your mistress's 
 house, and let no fear of the consequences be any bar to the enjoy- 
 ment of the most rapturous human bliss.' 
 
 After a mutual interchange of compliments, I knocked at Vio- 
 lante's door. It was opened by a kind of duenna. In I went, and 
 without looking back after what was passing behind me, made the 
 best of my way to the lady's room. While I was paying her my 
 preliminary civilities, the two cutthroats who had followed me into 
 the house, and had banged the door after them so violently that 
 Ambrose was left in the street, made their appearance. You may 
 well suppose that then was the appeal to arms. They both fell upon 
 me at the same time ; but I showed them some play. I kept them
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 319 
 
 engaged on either side so fiercely, that they were sorry, perhaps, not 
 to have taken a safer road to their revenge. The husband was run 
 through the body. His brother-in-law, seeing him on his travels to 
 the shades below, made the best of his way to the door, which the 
 duenna and Violante had opened, to make their escape while we 
 were fighting. I ran after him into the street, where I met with 
 Lamela once more, who, by dint of not being able to get a word 
 out of the women, running as they did for their very lives, did not 
 know exactly what he was to divine from the infernal noise he had 
 just heard. We got back to our inn. After packing up what was 
 best worth taking with us, we mounted our mules, and got out of 
 town, without waiting for daybreak or fear of robbers. 
 
 " It was sufficiently clear that this business was not likely to be 
 without its consequences, and that a hue and cry would be set up in 
 Toledo, which we should act like wise men to anticipate by a retreat. 
 We staid the night at Villarubia. At the inn where we put up, 
 some time after our arrival, there alighted a tradesman of Toledo 
 on his way to Segorba. We clubbed our suppers. He related to us 
 the tragical catastrophe of Violante's husband , and so far was he 
 from suspecting us of being parties concerned, that we inquired into 
 particulars with the curious indifference of common newsmongers. 
 ' Gentlemen,' said he, 'just as I was setting out this morning, the 
 report of this melancholy event was handed about. Every one was 
 on the hunt after Violante ; and they say that the corregidor, a rela- 
 tion of Don Balthazar, is determined on sparing no pains to discover 
 the perpetrators of this murder. So much for my knowledge of the 
 business.' 
 
 "The corregidor of Toledo and his police gave me very little 
 uneasiness. But, for fear of the worst, I determined to precipitate 
 my retreat from New Castile. It occurred to me that Violante, 
 when hunted out of her hiding-place, would turn informer, and in 
 that case she might give such a description of my person to the 
 clerks in office as might enable them to put their scouts upon a 
 right scent. For this reason, on the following day we struck out of 
 the high road, as a measure of safety. Fortunately Lamela was 
 acquainted with three-fourths of Spain, and knew by what cross- 
 paths we could get securely into Arragon. Instead of going straight 
 to Cuenca, we threaded the defiles of the mountains overhanging 
 that town, and arrived, by ways with which my guide was well 
 acquainted, at a grotto looking very much like a hermitage. In fact, 
 it was the very place whither you came yesterday evening to petition 
 me for an asylum. 
 
 " While I was reconnoitring the neighborhood, which presented a 
 moat delicious landscape to my view, my companion said to me, ' It
 
 520 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 is six years since I travelled this way. At that time the grotto 
 before us afforded a retreat to an old hermit who entertained me 
 charitably. He made me fare as he did. I remember that he was 
 a holy man, and talked in such a strain as almost to wean me from 
 the vices and follies of this nether world. He may possibly be still 
 living ; I will ascertain whether it be so or not.' With these words 
 in his mouth, Ambrose, under the influence of natural curiosity, 
 alighted from his mule, and went into the hermitage. He remained 
 there some minutes, and then returned, calling after me, and say- 
 ing, ' Come hither, Don Raphael, and bear witness to a most affect- 
 ing event.' I at once dismounted. We tied our mules to a tree, and 
 I followed Lamela into the grotto, where I descried an old anchoret 
 stretched at his length upon a couch, pale and at the point of death. 
 A white beard, very thick, hung down to his middle, and he held a 
 large" rosary, most piously ornamented, in his clasped hands. At the 
 noise which we made in coming near him, he opened his eyes, upon 
 which death had already begun to lay his leaden hand, and alter 
 having looked at us for a moment, said, ' Whosoever you are, my 
 brethren, profit by the spectacle which presents itself to your obser- 
 vation. I have seen out forty years in the world, and sixty in this 
 solitude. But mark ! At this eternal crisis, the time I have devoted 
 to my pleasures seems an age, and that, on the contrary, which has 
 been sacred to repentance, but a minute ! Alas ! I fear lest the 
 austerities of brother Juan should be found light in the balance with 
 the sins of the licentiate Don Juan de Solis.' 
 
 " No sooner were these words out of his mouth than he breathed 
 his last. We were struck by the solemn scene. Objects of this kind 
 always make some impression even on the greatest libertines ; but 
 our serious thoughts were of no long duration. We soon forgot 
 what he had been saying to us, and began making an inventory of 
 what the hermitage contained an employment which was not very 
 laborious, since the household furniture extended no further than 
 what you remarked in the grotto. Brother Juan was not only in ill- 
 furnished lodgings: his kitchen, too, was in a very rustic plight. 
 All the store laid in consisted of some small nuts and some pieces of 
 crusty barley bread as hard as flint, which had all the appearance of 
 having been impregnable to the gums of the venerable man. I spe- 
 cify his gums, because we looked for his teeth, and found they had 
 all dropped out. The whole arrangement of this solitary abode, 
 every object that met our eyes, made us look upon this good ancho- 
 ret as a pattern of sanctity. One thing only staggered us in our 
 opinion. We opened a paper folded in the form of a letter, and 
 lying upon the table, wherein he besought the person who should 
 read the contents to carry his rosary and sandals to the bishop of
 
 ADVENTUEEX OF GIL BIAS. 321 
 
 Cuen<ja. We could not make out in what spirit this modern recluse 
 of the desert could aim at making such a present to his bishop. It 
 seemed to us to tread somewhat on the heels of his humility, and to 
 savor of one who was a candidate for a niche in the calendar. 
 Though indeed it might be that there was nothing in it but a simple 
 supposition that the bishop was such as- himself; but whether his 
 ignorance was really so extreme, I shall not pretend to decide. 
 
 "In talking over this subject, a very pleasant idea occurred to 
 Lamela. ' Let us take up our abode,' said he, ' in this holy retreat. 
 The disguise of hermits will become us. Brother Juan must be laid 
 quietly in the earth. You shall personate him ; and for myself, in 
 the character of brother Anthony, I will go and see what is to be 
 done in the neighboring towns and villages. Besides that we shall 
 be too cunningly ensconced for the prying curiosity of the corregi- 
 dor, since it is not to be supposed that he will think of coming 
 hither to look for us, I have some good connections at Cuencja, 
 which may be of essential service to us.' I fell in with this odd 
 whim, not so much for the reasons given me by Ambrose, as in 
 compliance with the humor of the thing, and as it were to play a 
 part in a dramatic piece. We made an excavation in the ground at 
 about thirty or forty yards from the grotto, and buried the old 
 anchoret there, without any pompous rites, after having stripped 
 him of his wardrobe, which consisted of a single gown tied round 
 the middle with a leathern girdle. We likewise despoiled him of his 
 beard, to make me an artificial one, and finally, after his interment, 
 we took possession of the hermitage. 
 
 " The first day our table was but meanly served ; the provisions 
 of the deceased were all we had to feed on ; but on the following 
 morning, before sunrise, Lamela set off to sell the two mules at 
 Toralva, and returned in the evening laden with provisions and 
 other articles which he had purchased. He brought everything 
 necessary to metamorphose us completely. For himself he had 
 provided a gown of coarse dark cloth, and a little red horse-hair 
 beard, so ingeniously appended to his ears that one would have 
 sworn that it was natural. There is not a cleverer fellow in the 
 universe for a frolic. Brother Juan's beard was also new-modelled, 
 and adapted to the plumpness of my face. My brown woollen cap 
 completed the masquerade. In fact, nothing was wanting to make 
 us pass for what we were not. Our equipage was so ludicrously 
 out of character, that we could not look at one another without 
 laughing, under a garb so diametrically at variance with our gene- 
 ral complexion. With brother Juan's mantle, I caught and kept his 
 rosary and sandals, taking the liberty of borrowing them for the 
 time being from the bishop of Cuenqa. 
 21
 
 322 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 " We had already been three days in the hermitage, without hav- 
 ing been interrupted by a living soul; but on the fourth, two 
 countrymen came into the grotto. They brought bread, cheese, 
 and onions, for the deceased, whom they supposed to be still living. 
 I threw myself on our miserable couch as soon as they made their 
 appearance ; and it was not difficult to impose on them. Besides 
 that it was too dark to distinguish my features accurately, I imitated 
 the voice of brother Juan, whose last words I had heard, to the best 
 of my ability. They had no suspicion of the trick, though a good 
 deal surprised at finding another hermit there. Lamela, taking ad- 
 vantage of their stupid wonder, said, in a canting tone, ' My breth- 
 ren, be not astonished at seeiqg me in this solitude. I have quitted 
 a hermitage of my own in Arragon, to come hither and be a com- 
 panion to the venerable and edifying brother Juan, who, at his ad- 
 vanced age, wants a yoke-fellow to administer to his necessities.' 
 The rustics lavished their clumsy panegyrics on the charity of Am- 
 brose, and congratulated themselves that they might triumph over 
 their neighbors, and boast of two holy personages residing in their 
 country. 
 
 " Lamela, laden with a large wallet which he had not forgotten 
 among the number of his purchases, went for the first time to recon- 
 noitre the town of Cuenc.a, which is but a very short distance from 
 the hermitage. With a mortified exterior, by which nature had 
 dubbed him for a cheat, and the art of making that natural decep- 
 tion go as far as possible by a most hypocritical and factitious array 
 of features, he could not fail to play upon the feelings of the char- 
 itable and humane, and those whom Heaven has blessed with 
 affluence. His knapsack bore testimony to the extravagance of 
 their pious liberalities. 'Master Ambrose,' said I on his return, 'I 
 congratulate you on your happy knack at softening the souls of all 
 good Christians. As we hope to be saved, one would suppose you 
 had been a mendicant friar among the Capuchins.' ' I have done 
 something else besides bringing in food for the convent,' answered 
 he. ' You must know that I have ferreted out a certain lass called 
 Barbara, with whom I used to flirt formerly. She is as much altered 
 as any of us ; for she also has addicted herself to a godly life. She 
 forms a coterie with two or three other sanctified dames, who are an 
 ^xample to the faithful in public, and flounce over head and ears 
 in every sort of private vice. She did not know me again at first. 
 "What, then, Mistress Barbara," said I, "is it possible that you 
 should have discharged one of your oldest friends from your remem- 
 brance, your servant Ambrose?" "As I am a true Christian, Signer 
 de Lamela," exclaimed she, " I never thought to have turned you up 
 in such a garb as that. By what transformation are you become a
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 323 
 
 hermit?" " That is more than I can tell you just now," rejoined I. 
 " The particulars are rather long ; but I will come to-morrow evening 
 and satisfy your curiosity. Nay, more ; I will bring brother Juan, 
 my companion, along with me." " Brother Juan," interrupted she, 
 " the venerable hermit who has taken up his saintly residence near 
 this town ? You do not know what you are saying ; he is supposed 
 to be more than a hundred years old." "It is very true," said I, 
 " that he was of that age some little while ago ; but time, in defer- 
 ence to his sanctity, has gone backward with him ; and he is grown 
 considerably younger within these few days. He is at present just 
 about my turn of life." " Say you so ! Then let us have him too," 
 replied Barbara. " I perceive there is something more in this mys- 
 tery than the church will be able to explain." ' 
 
 " We did not miss our appointment with these whited sepulchres 
 on the following night. To make our reception the more agreeable, 
 they had laid out a sumptuous entertainment. Off went our beards 
 and cowls, and vestments of mortification ; and without any squeam- 
 ishness we confessed our birth, education, and real character, to 
 these sisters in hypocrisy. On their part, for fear of being behind- 
 hand with us in freedom from prejudice, they fairly let us see of 
 what pretended religionists are capable, when they drop the veil of 
 the sanctuary, and exhibit their unmanufactured faces. We spent 
 almost the whole night at table, and got back to our grotto but a 
 moment before daybreak. We were not long in repeating our visit; 
 or, if the truth must be told, it was nightly for three months ; till 
 we ate up more than two thirds of our ways and means in the com- 
 pany of these delicate creatures. But an unsuccessful candidate for 
 their favor got wind of our proceedings, and prated of our where- 
 abouts in the ear of justice, which was to have been in motion 
 towards the hermitage this very day, to lay hold of our persons. 
 Yesterday Ambrose, while picking up eleemosynaries at Cuenc.a, 
 stumbled upon one of our whining sisterhood, who gave him a note, 
 with this caution : ' A female friend of mine has written me this 
 letter, which I was going to send to you by a man on purpose. Show 
 it to brother Juan, and regulate your proceedings accordingly.' It 
 was this very note, gentlemen, that Lamela gave me in your pres- 
 ence, which occasioned us to take so abrupt a leave of our solitary 
 dwelling."
 
 324 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 DON RAPHAEL'S CONSULTATION WITH HIS COMPANY ; THEIR ADVENTURES 
 AS THEY WERE PREPARING TO LEAVE THE WOOD. 
 
 WHEN Don Raphael had finished the narrative of hia adven- 
 turous life, which, with all the other qualities of romance, 
 had the tediousness, Don Alphonso, according to the laws of good 
 breeding, swore himself black in the face that he had been pro- 
 digiously entertained. After the usual exchange of compliments, 
 Signer Ambrose put in his oar, with an admonitory hint to the 
 partner of his exploits and peregrinations. " Consider, Don Raphael, 
 that the sun is setting. It would not be amiss, methinks, to take 
 counsel on what we are to do." " You are in the right," answered 
 his comrade ; " we must determine on the place of our destina- 
 tion." " For my own part," replied Lamela, " I am of opinion that 
 we should get upon the road again without loss of time, reach 
 Requena to-night, and enter upon the territory of Valencia 
 to-morrow, where we will go to work full tilt at our old trade. 1 
 have some prognosticating twitches, which tell me that we shall 
 strike some gpod strokes in that quarter." His colleague, from 
 ample experience of his infallibility in such prophecies, voted on 
 his side of the question. As for Don Alphonso and myself, having 
 nothing to do but to follow the lead of these two worthy gentlemen, 
 we waited in silent acquiescence the issue of this momentous 
 debate. 
 
 Thus it was determined that we should take the direction of 
 Requena ; and all hands were piped to make the necessary arrange- 
 ments. We made our meal after the same fashion as in the 
 morning, and the horse was laden with the bottle, and with the 
 remnant of our provisions. After a time, the approach of night 
 seemed to promise us that darkness so friendly, and even so neces- 
 sary to the safety of our retreat ; and we were beginning our march 
 through the wood; but before we had gone a hundred paces, a 
 light among the trees gave us a subject of anxious speculation. 
 " What can be the meaning of that ?" said Don Raphael ; " these 
 surely must be bloodhounds of the police from Cuenga, uncoupled 
 and eager for the sport, with a fresh scent of us in this forest, and 
 in full cry after their game." " I am of a very different opinion," 
 said Ambrose; "they are more likely to be benighted travellers 
 taking shelter in the thicket till daybreak. But there is no trusting 
 to conjecture : I will examine into the real truth. Stay you here, 
 all three of you ; I will be back again instantly." No sooner said
 
 ADVENTUKES OF GIL BLAS. 325 
 
 than done ; he stole, just as if he had been used to it, towards the 
 light, which was not far off; no brute or human thief of forest or 
 city could have done it better. With a gentle removal of the 
 leaves and branches which obstructed his passage, the whole scene 
 was laid open to his silent contemplation ; and it afforded sufficient 
 food. On the grass, round about a lighted candle with a clod for 
 its candlestick, were seated four men, just finishing a meat pie, and 
 hugging a pretty large bottle, which was at its last gasp, after 
 having sustained their alternate embraces for successive rounds. 
 At some paces from these gentry, he espied a lady and gentleman 
 tied to the trees, and, a little farther off, a carriage with two mules 
 richly caparisoned. He determined at once in his own mind that 
 the fellows carousing on the ground were banditti ; and the tenor 
 of their talk assured him that he had not belied their trade by his 
 conjecture. The four cutthroats all avowed a like desire of possess- 
 ing the female who had fallen into their hands ; and they were propos- 
 ing to draw lots for her. Lamela, having made himself master of the 
 business, came back to us, and gave an exact account of all he had 
 seen and heard. 
 
 " My friends," said. Don Alphonso, on his recital, " that lady and 
 gentleman, whom the robbers have tied to trees, are probably 
 persons of the first condition. Shall we suffer scoundrels like these 
 to triumph over their honor and take away their lives ? Put your- 
 selves under my direction : let us assail the desperate outlaws, and 
 they will perish under our attack." " With all my heart," said 
 Don Raphael. " It is all one to me. I had just as soon engage on 
 the right side as on the wrong." Ambrose, for his part, protested 
 that he wished for nothing better than to lend a hand in so moral 
 an enterprise, as it promised to combine much profit with some, 
 share of honor. And indeed, if a man may speak a good word for 
 himself, danger stood better recommended than usual to my com- 
 prehension ; all the boiling courage of knighthood, pledged up to 
 the knuckles or the chin on the behalf of female innocence, was 
 oozing out at every pore of this chivalrous person. But, if we are 
 to state facts in the spirit of history rather than of romance, the 
 danger was more in imagination than in reality. Lamela having 
 brought us word that the arms of the robbers were all piled up at 
 the distance of ten or twelve paces out of their reach, there was no 
 difficulty in securing the mastery of the field. We tied our horses 
 to a tree, and drew near, as softly as possible, to the spot where the 
 robbers were seated. They were debating with some impetuosity, 
 and their vociferous argument was all in favor of our covert 
 attack. We got possession of their arms before they had any 
 suspicion of us. But the enemy was nearer than they imagined
 
 326 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 too near to miss aim ; and they were all stretched lifeless on the 
 ground. 
 
 During the conflict the candle went out, so that we proceeded in 
 our business by guess-work. We were not remiss, however, in 
 unbinding the prisoners, of whom fear had got such complete posses- 
 sion, that they had not their wits enough about them to thank us for 
 what we had done for them. It must be allowed that they could 
 not at first distinguish whether they were to consider us as their 
 deliverers, or as a fresh gang who had taken them out of one furnace 
 to cast them hissing into another. But we recovered their spirits 
 by the assurance that we should lodge them safely in a public-house 
 which Ambrose mentioned as not being more than half a mile off, 
 whence they might take all necessary measures to pursue their 
 journey in whatever direction they thought proper. After these 
 words of comfort, which seemed to sink deep, we placed them in 
 their carriage, and conducted them out of the wood, holding their 
 mules by the bridle. Our clerical friends instituted a ghostly visi- 
 tation to the pockets of the vanquished banditti. Our next step 
 was to recover Don Alphonso's horse. We also took to ourselves 
 the steeds of the roBbers, waiting, as they were, to be released from 
 the trees to which they were tied near the field of battle. With this 
 extensive calvacade we followed brother Antony, mounted on one 
 of the mules, and conducting the carriage to the inn, whither we did 
 not arrive in less than two hours, though he had pledged his credit 
 that the distance from the wood was very short. 
 
 We knocked roughly at the door. Every living creature was 
 napping, except the fleas. The landlord and landlady got on their 
 clothes in a hurry, and were not at all annoyed at finding their rest 
 disturbed by the arrival of an equipage which promised to do more 
 for the good of the house than it eventually did. The whole inn 
 was lighted up in an instant. Don Alphonso and the stage-bred 
 son of Lucinda lent their assistance to the gentleman and lady in 
 alighting from the carriage, and acted as their ushers in leading the 
 way to the room prepared for them by the landlord. Compliments 
 flew backwards and forwards like shuttlecocks ; but we were not a 
 
 ttle astonished at discovering the Count de Polan himself and his 
 daughter Seraphina in the persons we had just rescued. It would 
 be difficult to represent by words the surprise of that lady, as well 
 as of Don Alphonso, when they recognized each other's features. 
 The count took no notice of it, his attention being engrossed by 
 other matters. He set about relating to us in what manner the 
 
 >bbers had attacked him, and how they secured his daughter and 
 himself, after having killed his postilion, a page, and a valet-de- 
 chambre. He ended with declaring how deeply he felt his obliga-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 327 
 
 tion, and that, if we would call upon him at Toledo, where he should 
 be in a month, we should judge for ourselves whether he felt as a 
 grateful heart ought to feel. 
 
 His lordship's daughter was not backward in her acknowledg- 
 ments for her timely rescue ; and as we were of opinion that is, 
 Eaphael and myself that we should do a good turn to Don Al- 
 phonso by giving him an opportunity of a minute's private parley 
 with the young widow, we contrived to keep the Count de Polan in 
 play. " Lovely Seraphina," said Don Alphonso to the lady, in a 
 low voice, " I no longer lament over the lot which obliges me to 
 live like a man banished from civil society, since I have been so 
 fortunate as to assist in the important service just rendered you." 
 " What, then," answered she, with a sigh, " it is you who have saved 
 my life and honor ? Is it to you that we are so indebted, myself 
 equally with my father ? Ah ! Don Alphonso, why were you the 
 instrument of my brother's death?" She said no more upon the 
 subject; but he conceived clearly by these words, and by the tone 
 in which they were pronounced, that if he was over head and ears 
 in love with Seraphina, she was equally out of her depth in the 
 same passion.
 
 328 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 BOOK VI. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 THE FATE OF GIL BLAS AND HIS COMPANIONS AFTER THEY TOOK 
 LEAVE OF THE COUNT DE POLAN. 
 
 r I 1HE Count de Polan, after having exhausted half the night in 
 _1_ thanking us, and protesting that we might reckon upon his 
 substantial acknowledgments, sent for the landlord, to consult him 
 on the best method of getting 'safely to Turis, whither it was his 
 intention to go. We had nothing to do with this nobleman's further 
 progress, and therefore left him to take his own measures. Our 
 departure from the inn was now resolved on ; and we followed La- 
 mela like sheep after the bell-wether. 
 
 After two hours' travelling, the day overtook us near Campillo. 
 We made as expeditiously as possible for the mountains between 
 that hamlet and Eequena. There we wore out the day in taking 
 our rest and reckoning up our stock, which the spoil of the robbers 
 had considerably replenished, to the amount of more than three 
 hundred pistoles, the lawful ravage of their pockets. We began 
 our march again with the setting in of the night, and on the follow- 
 ing morning reached the frontier of Valencia in safety. We got 
 quietly into the first wood that offered as a shelter. The inmost 
 recesses of it were best suited to our purpose, and led us on by 
 winding paths to a spot where a rivulet of transparent water was 
 meandering in its slow and silent course, to incorporate with the 
 waters of Gaudalaviar. The refreshing shade afforded by the foli- 
 age, and the rich pasturage in which our toil-worn beasts so much 
 delighted, would have fixed this for the place of our halting, if our 
 resolution had not been previously taken to that effect. 
 
 We therefore alighted, and were preparing to pass the day very 
 pleasantly ; but a good breakfast was amongst the foremost of our 
 intended pleasures, and we found that there was very little ammu- 
 nition left. Bread was beginning to be a nonentity ; and our bottle 
 was becoming an evidence of the material system, mere carnal 
 leather without a vivifying soul. "Gentlemen," said Ambrose, 
 "scenery and the picturesque have but hungry charms for me, 
 unless Bacchus and Ceres preside over the landscape. Our pro- 
 visions must be lengthened out. For this purpose, away post I to 
 Xelva. It is a very pretty town, not more than two leagues off. I
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 329 
 
 shall soon make this little excursion." Speaking after this manner, 
 he slung the bottle and a wallet over a horse's back, leaped merrily 
 into his seat, and shot out of the wood with a rapidity which seemed 
 to bid fair for a speedy return. 
 
 He did not, however, come back quite as soon as he had given us 
 reason to expect. More than half the day had elapsed; nay, night 
 herself was already pranking up her dun and gloomy wings, to over- 
 shadow the thicket with a denser horror, when we saw our purveyor 
 once again, whose long stay was beginning to give us some uneasi- 
 ness. Our extreme wishes were lame and impotent compared with 
 the abundance of his stores. He not only produced the bottle, 
 filled with some excellent wine, and the wallet stuffed with game 
 and poultry ready dressed, to say nothing of bread, the horse was 
 laden besides with a large bundle of stuffs, of which we could make 
 neither head nor tail. He took notice of our wonder, and said with 
 a smile, " I will lay a wager neither Don Eaphael nor all the col- 
 leges of soothsayers upon earth can guess why I have bought these 
 articles." With this fling at our dullness, he untied the bundle, and 
 lectured on the intrinsic value of what we had been considering 
 only as an empty pageant. In the inventory was a cloak and a 
 black gown of trailing dimensions ; doublets, breeches, and hose to 
 correspond ; an inkstand and writing paper such as a secretary of 
 state need not be ashamed of; a key such as a treasurer might 
 carry ; a great seal and green wax such as a chancellor might affix 
 to his decrees. When he had at length exhausted the display of his 
 bargains, Don Raphael observed in a bantering tone, " Faith and 
 troth, Master Ambrose, it must be confessed that you have made a 
 good, sensible speculation. But pray, how do you mean to turn the 
 penny on your purchase ?" " Let me alone for that," answered 
 Lamela. "All these things cost me only ten pistoles, and it shall 
 go hard but they bring us in above five hundred. The tens in five 
 hundred are fifty ; a good improvement of money, my masters 1 I 
 am not a man to burden myself with a trumpery pedler's pack; and 
 to prove to you that I have not been making ducks and drakes of 
 our joint stock, I will let you into the secret of a plan which has 
 just taken birth in my pericranium. 
 
 "After having laid in my stock of bread, I went into a cook's shop, 
 where I ordered a range of partridges, chickens, and young rabbits, 
 half a dozen of each, to be put instantly on the spit. While these 
 relishing little articles were roasting, in came a man in a violent 
 passion, open-mouthed against the coarse conduct of a tradesman 
 to hia consequential self. This fagot of fury observed to the lord 
 paramount of the dripping-pan, ' By St. James I Samuel Simon is 
 the most wrong-headed retail dealer in the town of Xelva. He has
 
 830 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 just insulted me in his own shop before his customers. The skin- 
 flint would not trust me for six ells of cloth, though he knows very 
 well that my credit is as good as the bank, and that no one could 
 say he ever lost anything by me. Are not you delighted with the 
 outlandish monster? He has no objection to getting people of 
 fashion on his books. He had rather toss up heads or tails with 
 them than oblige a plain citizen in an honest way, and be paid in 
 full at the time appointed. What a strange whim ! But he is an 
 infernal Jew. He will be taken in some day or other ! All the 
 merchants on the Exchange are lying in wait to catch him upon the 
 hip ; and his disgrace or ruin will be nuts to me.' 
 
 " While this reptile of the warehouse was thus spitting his spite 
 and blurting out many other ill-natured innuendoes, there came 
 over me a sort of astrological anticipation that I should be lord of 
 the ascendant over this Samuel Simon. ' My friend,' said I to the 
 man who was complaining against that hawker of damaged goods, 
 ' of what character is the strange fellow you are talking about ?' 
 'Of a confoundedly bad character,' answered he in a pet. 'De- 
 pend on it, he is one of the most extortionate usurers in existence, 
 though with the affectation of not letting his left hand know what 
 his right gives away in charity. He was a Jew, and has turned 
 Catholic ; but rip your way into his heart, if he has any, and you 
 will find him still as inveterate a Jew as ever Pilate was. As for 
 his conversion, it was all in the way of trade.' 
 
 " I took in with a greedy ear the whole invective of the shop-keep- 
 ing declaimant, and failed not, on coming out of the eating-house, to 
 inquire for Samuel Simon's residence. A person directed me to the 
 part of the town, and there was no difficulty in finding out the 
 house. It was not enough to skim my eye cursorily over his shop. 
 I peered into every hole and corner of it; and my imagination, 
 always on the alert when any profit is to be picked up, has already 
 engendered a rogue's trick, which only waits the period of gestation, 
 when it may turn out a bantling not unworthy to be fathered by 
 the sanctimonious servant of Signer Gil Bias. Straightway went I 
 to the ready-made warehouse, where I bought these dresses, into 
 which we may stuff an inquisitor, a notary, and an alguazil, and 
 play the parts in the spirit of the solemn offices they represent." 
 
 " Ah I my dear Ambrose," interrupted Don Eaphael, transported 
 with rapture at the suggestion, " what a wonderful idea I a glorious 
 scheme indeed ! I am quite jealous of the contrivance. Willingly 
 would I blot out the proudest quarter from my escutcheon to have 
 owned an effort of genius so transcendent. Yes, Lamela, I see, my 
 friend, all the rich invention of the design, and you need be at no 
 loss for instruments to carry it into effect. You want two good
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 331 
 
 actors to play up to you ; and you have not far to look for them. 
 You have yourself a face that can look sanctified, magisterial, or 
 bloodthirsty at will, and may do very well to represent the Inquisi- 
 tion. My character shall be that of the notary; and Signer Gil Bias, 
 if he pleases, may enact the alguazil. Thus are the persons of the 
 drama distributed : to-morrow we will play the piece, and I will 
 pledge myself for its success, bating one of those unlucky chance 
 medleys which turn awry the currents of the most pithy and mo- 
 mentous enterprises." 
 
 As yet Don Raphael's masterpiece of roguery had made but a 
 clumsy impression on my plodding brain ; but the argument of the 
 fable was developed at supper-time, and the hinge upon which it 
 was turned was, to my mind, of an ingenious contrivance^ After 
 having despatched part of our game, and bled our bottle to the last 
 stage of evacuation, we stretched our length upon the grass, and 
 soon fell fast asleep. " Up with you I up with you 1" was the alarum 
 of Signer Ambrose, as the day began to dawn. " People who have a 
 great enterprise on hand ought not to indulge themselves in indo- 
 lence." " A plague upon you, master inquisitor," said Don Eaphael, 
 rubbing his eyes ; " you are confounded early on the move ! It is 
 as good as an order for execution to Master Samuel Simon." " Many 
 a true word is spoken in jest," replied Lamela. " Nay, you shall 
 know more," added he, with a sarcastic grin. "I dreamt last 
 night that I was plucking the hairs out of his beard." "Was not 
 that a left-handed dream for him, master secretary ?" These pleas- 
 ant hits were followed by a thousand others, which called forth new 
 bursts of merriment. Our breakfast passed off with the utmost 
 gayety ; and when it was over, we made our arrangements for the 
 pageant we had got up. Ambrose arrayed himself in sables, as be- 
 fitted so ghostly an instrument for the suppression of vice. We also 
 took to our official habits ; nor has the dignity of magistracy been 
 often more gravely represented than by Don Eaphael and myself. 
 The making up of our persons was rather a tedious operation ; for it. 
 was later than two o'clock in the afternoon when we sallied from the 
 wood to attend our call at Xelva. It is true, there was no hurry, 
 since the play was not to begin till the setting in of the evening. 
 That being the case, we jogged on leisurely, and stopped at the gates 
 of the town till the day was closed. 
 
 At that eventful hour, we left our horses where they were, to 
 the care of Don Alphonso, who was very well satisfied to have 
 so humble a cast allotted to him in the distribution. As for Don 
 Raphael, Ambrose and myself, our first visit was not to Samuel 
 Simon in person, but to a tavern-keeper who lived very near 
 him. His reverence the inquisitor walked foremost. In went
 
 332 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 he to the bar, and said gravely to the landlord, " Master, I want 
 to speak a word with you in private." The obsequious publican 
 showed us into a room, where Lamela, now that we had got him to 
 ourselves, said, " I have the honor to be an unworthy member of 
 the holy office, and am come here on a business of very great im- 
 portance." At this intimation, the man of liquor turned pale, and 
 answered in a tremulous tone that he was not conscious of having 
 given any umbrage to the holy Inquisition. " True," replied Am- 
 brose, with encouraging affability; "neither do we meditate any 
 harm against you. Heaven forbid that that august tribunal, too 
 hasty ufits punishments, should make no distinction between guilt 
 and innocence. It is unrelenting, but always just, to become ob- 
 noxious to its vengeance, you must have earned its displeasure by 
 wickedness or contumacy. Be satisfied, therefore, that it is not you 
 who bring me to Xelva, but a certain dealer and chapman, by name 
 Samuel Simon. A very ugly story about him has come round to us. 
 He is still a Jew in his heart, they say, and has only embraced 
 Christianity frpm sordid and secular motives. I command you, in 
 the name of the tremendous court I represent, to tell me 'all you 
 know about that man. Beware how you are induced bv good neigh- 
 borhood, or possibly by close friendship, to gloss over and palliate 
 his errors ; for I warn you authoritatively, if I detect the slightest 
 prevarication in your evidence, you are yourself even as one of the 
 abandoned and accursed. Where ia my secretary?" pursued he, 
 turning towards Don Eaphael. " Sit down and do your duty." 
 
 Mr. Secretary, with his paper already in his hand and. his pen 
 behind his ear, took his seat most pompously, and made ready to 
 take down the landlord's deposition ; who promised solemnly on his 
 part not to suppress one tittle of the real fact. " So far, so good !" 
 said the worshipful commissioner ; " we have only to proceed in our 
 examination. You will only just answer my questions; but do not 
 interlard your replies with any comments of your own. Do you 
 often see Samuel Simon at church?" "I never thought of looking 
 for him," said the drawer of corks ; "but I do not know that I ever 
 saw him there in my life." " Very good !" cried the inquisitor 
 " Write down that the defendant never goes to church." " I do not 
 say so, your worship," answered the landlord, " I only say that I 
 never happened to see him there. We may have been at church 
 together, and yet not have come across each other." "My good 
 friend," replied Lamela, " you forget that you are deposing to facts, 
 and not arguing. Remember what I told you ; contempt of court is 
 a heinous offence. You are to give a sound and discreet evidence ; 
 every iota of what makes against him, and not a word in his favor, 
 if you knew volumes." " If that is your practice, O upright and
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 333 
 
 impartial judge," resumed our host, " my testimony will scarcely be 
 worth the trouble of taking. I know" nothing about the tradesman 
 you are inquiring after, and therefore can tell neither good nor harm 
 of him ; but if you wish to examine into the history of his private 
 life, I will run and call Gaspard, his apprentice, whom you may 
 question as much as you please. The lad comes and takes his glass 
 here sometimes with his friends. Bless us, what a tongue! He 
 will rip up all the minutest actions of his master's life, and find 
 employment for your secretary till his wrist aches, take my word 
 for it." 
 
 " I like your open dealing," said Ambrose, with a nod of approba- 
 tion. "To point out a man so capable of speaking to the bad 
 morals of Simon, is an instance of Christian charity as well as of 
 religious zeal. I shall report you very favorably to the Inquisition. 
 Make haste, therefore , go and fetch this Gaspard of whom you 
 speak ; but do the thing cautiously, so that his master may have no 
 suspicion of what is going forward." The multiplier of scores 
 acquitted himself of his commission with due diligence and laudable 
 privacy. Our little shopman came along with him. The youth had 
 a tongue with a tang, and was just the sort of fellow that we wanted. 
 " Welcome, my good young man !" said Lamela. " You behold in 
 me an inquisitor, appointed by that venerable body to collect infor- 
 mations against Samuel Simon, on an accusation of still adhering to 
 Judaism in his secret devotions. You are an inmate of his family ; 
 consequently you must be an eye-witness to many of his most pri- 
 vate transactions. It probably may be unnecessary to warn you 
 that you are obliged in conscience, and by fear of punishment, to 
 declare all you know about him, notwithstanding any promise to 
 the contrary, when I order you so to do on the part of the holy 
 Inquisition." "May it please your reverence," answered the plod- 
 ding little rascal, "I am quite ready to satisfy your heart's desire on 
 that head, without being commanded thereto in the name of the 
 holy office. If ever my acquittal was to depend on my master's 
 character of me, I am persuaded that my chance would be a sorry 
 one, and for that reason I shall serve him as he would serve me. 
 And I may tell you, in the first place, that he is a fly-by-night whose 
 proceedings it is no easy matter to take measure of a man who 
 puts on all the starch formalities of an inveterate religionist, but 
 at bottom has not a spark of principle in his composition. He 
 goes every evening dangling after a little girl no better than she 
 should be." ... "I am vastly glad indeed to find that," inter- 
 rupted Ambrose, "because I plainly perceive, by all you have been 
 telling me, that he is a man of corrupt morals and licentious prac- 
 tices. But answer point by point the questions I shall put to you.
 
 334 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 It is above all on the subject of religion that I am commissioned to 
 inquire into his sentiments anfl conduct. Pray tell me, do you eat 
 much pork at your house?" "I do not think," answered Gaspard, 
 " that we have seen it at table twice in the year that I have lived 
 with him." " Better and better !" replied the paragon of inquisi- 
 tors ; " write down in legible characters that they never eat pork in 
 Samuel Simon's family. But as a set-off against that, doubtless a 
 joint of lamb is served up every now and then ?" " Yes, every now 
 and then," rejoined the apprentice ; " we killed one for our own con- 
 sumption about last Easter." " The season is pat and to the pur- 
 pose," cried the ecclesiastical commissioner. " Come, write down 
 that Simon keeps the passover. This goes on merrily to a complete 
 conviction ; and it seems we have got a good serviceable informa- 
 tion here. 
 
 "Tell me again, my friend," pursued Lamela, "whether you have 
 not often seen your master fondle young children." " A thousand 
 times," answered Gaspard. " When he sees the little urchins play- 
 ing about before the shop, if they happen to be pretty, he calls them 
 in and makes much of them." " Write that down be sure and 
 write that down," interrupted the inquisitor. "Samuel Simon is 
 very grievously suspected of lying in wait for Christian children, 
 and enticing them into his den to circumcise them. Vastly well ! 
 vastly well, indeed, Master Simon! You will have an account to 
 settle with the society for the suppression of Judaism take my 
 word for it. Do not take it into your savage head that such bloody 
 sacrifices are to be perpetrated with impunity. A pretty use you 
 make of baptism and shaving ! Cheer up, religious Gaspard, thou 
 foremost of elect apprentices ! Make a full confession of all thy 
 master's sins ; complete thine honest testimony by telling us how 
 this simular of a Catholic is more than ever wedded to his Jewish 
 customs and ceremonies. Is it not a fact that one day in the week 
 he sits with his hands before him, and will not even perform the 
 most necessary offices for himself?" " No," answered Gaspard, " I 
 have not exactly observed that. What comes nearest to it is, that 
 on some days he shuts himself up in his closet, and stays there a 
 long time." " Ay, now we have it !" exclaimed the commissary. 
 " He keeps the Sabbath, or I am not an inquisitor. Note that par- 
 ticularly, officer note that he observes the fast of the Sabbath most 
 superstitiously. Out upon him ! What a shocking fellow ! One 
 question more, and his business is done. Is he not always parleying 
 about Jerusalem?" "Pretty often indeed," replied our informer. 
 " He knows the Old Testament by heart, and tells us how the temple 
 of Jerusalem was destroyed." " The very thing I" resumed Ambrose. 
 " Secretary, be sure you do not neglect that feature of the case.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 335 
 
 Write, in letters of an inch long, that Samuel Simon has contracted 
 with the devil for the rebuilding of the temple, and that he is plot- 
 ting day and night for the reestablishment of his nation. That is 
 all I want to know, and it is labor in vain to pursue the examina- 
 tion any further. What Gaspard, in the spirit of truth and charity, 
 has deposed, would be sufficient to make a bonfire of all Jewry." 
 
 When the august mouthpiece of the holy tribunal had sifted the 
 little scoundrelly apprentice after this manner, he told him he 
 might go about his business, at the same time commanding him, 
 under the severest penalties of the Inquisition, not to say a word to 
 his master about what was going forward. Gaspard promised im- 
 plicit obedience, and marched off. We were not long in coming 
 after him ; our procession from the inn was as grave and solemn as 
 our pilgrimage thereunto, till we knocked at Samuel Simon's door. 
 He opened it in person. Three figures such as ours might have 
 dumfounded a better man ; but his face was as long as a lawsuit, 
 when Lamela, our spokesman, said to him in a tone of authority, 
 " Master Samuel, I command you in the name of the holy Inquisi- 
 tion, whose delegate I have the honor to be, to give me the key of 
 your closet without murmur or delay. I want to see if I cannot find 
 wherewithal to corroborate certain hints which have been communi- 
 cated to us respecting you." 
 
 The son of commerce, aghast at these sounds of melancholy im- 
 port, reeled two steps backward, just as if some one had given him 
 a blow in the bread-basket. Far from smelling a rat in this pleasant 
 trick of ours, he fancied in good earnest that some secret enemy had 
 made him an object of suspicion to the holy hue-and-cry ; and it 
 might possibly have happened that, from being rather clumsy at 
 his new duties as a Christian, he might be conscious of having laid 
 himself open to serious animadversion. However that might be, I 
 never saw a man look more foolish. He did as he was ordered 
 without saying nay, and opened all his lock-up places with the 
 sheepish acquiescence of a man who stood in awe of an ecclesias- 
 tical rap on the knuckles. "At least," said Ambrose, as he went 
 in, " at least you are not a contumacious oppugner of our resistless 
 mandates. But withdraw into another room, and leave me to fulfill 
 the duties of my station without profane observers." Samuel did 
 not set his face against this command any more than against the 
 first, but kept himself quiet in his shop, while we went all three of 
 us into his closet, where, without loss of time, we laid an embargo 
 on his cash. It was no difficult matter to find it, for it lay in an 
 open coffer, and in much larger quantity than we could carry away. 
 There were a great many bags heaped up, but all in silver. Gold 
 would have been more to our mind ; but, as robbers must not b
 
 336 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 choosers any more than beggars, we were obliged to yield to the 
 necessity of the case. Not only did we line our pockets with ducats, 
 but the most unsearchable parts of our dress were made the recepta- 
 cles of our filchings. Yet was there no outward show of the heavy 
 burden under which we tottered ; thanks to the cunning contrivance 
 of Ambrose and Don Raphael, who proved that tfjere is nothing 
 like being master of one's trade. 
 
 We marched out of the closet, after having feathered our nests 
 pretty warmly ; and then, for a reason which the reader will have 
 no great difficulty in guessing, the worshipful inquisitor produced 
 his padlock, and fixed it on the door with his own hands, he 
 affixed moreover his own seal, and then said to Simon, " Master 
 Samuel, I forbid you, in the name of the holy Inquisition, to touch 
 either this padlock or this seal, which it is your bounden duty to 
 hold sacred, since it is the authentic seal of our holy office. I shall 
 return hither this time to-morrow, then and here to open my com- 
 mission, and provisionally to take off the interdict." With this 
 injunction, he ordered the street door to be opened, and we made 
 our escape after the processional manner, out of our wits with joy. 
 As soon as we had marched about fifty yards, we began to mend 
 our pace into such a quick step, aggravated by degrees into a leap 
 and a bound, that we were almost like vaulters and tumblers, in 
 spite of the weight we carried. We were soon out of town, and 
 mounting our horses once more, pushed forward towards Segorba, 
 with many a pious ejaculation to the god Mercury, on the happy 
 issue of so bold an attempt. 
 
 CHAPTEE II. 
 
 THE DETERMINATION OF DON ALPHONSO AND GIL BLAS AFTER THIS 
 ADVENTURE. 
 
 WE travelled all night, according to our modest and unobtru- 
 sive custom, so that we found ourselves, at sunrise, near a 
 little village two leagues from Segorba. As we were all tired to 
 death, it was agreed, unanimously, to strike out of the highway, 
 and rest under the shade of some willows, which we saw at the foot 
 of a little hill, about ten or twelve hundred yards from the village, 
 where it did not seem expedient for us to halt. These willows fur- 
 nished us with an agreeable retreat, by the side of a little brook
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 337 
 
 which bubbled as it washed their roots. The place struck our fancy, 
 and we resolved to pass the day there. We unbridled our horses, 
 and turned them out to grass, stretching our own gentle limbs on the 
 soft sod. There we courted the drowsy god of innocent repose for 
 a while, and then rummaged to the bottom of our wallet and our 
 wine-skin. After an ecclesiastical breakfast, we counted up our ten 
 tithes of Samuel Simon's money, and it amounted to a round three 
 thousand ducats. So that, with such a sum and what we had before, 
 it might be said without boasting that we knew how to make both 
 ends meet. 
 
 As it was necessary to go to market, Ambrose and Don Eaphael, 
 throwing off their dresses now the play was over, said that they 
 would take that office conjointly on themselves : the adventure at 
 Xelva had only sharpened their wit, and they had a mind to look 
 about Segorba, just to make the experiment whether any opportu- 
 nity might offer of striking another stroke. " You have nothing to 
 do," added the heir of Lucinda's wit and wisdom, " but to wait for 
 us under these willows ; we shall not be long before we are with 
 you again." "Signor Don Raphael." exclaimed I with a horse- 
 laugh, "tell us rather to wait for you under a more substantial 
 tree the gallows. If you once leave us, we are in a month's mind 
 that we shall not see you again till the day after the fair." " This 
 suspicion of our honor goes against the grain," replied Signor Am- 
 brose ; " but we deserve that our characters should suffer in your 
 esteem. It is but reason that you should distrust our purity, after 
 the affair at Valladolid, and should fancy that we shall make it no 
 more a matter of conscience to play at the devil take the hindmost 
 with you, than with the party that we left in the lurch in that 
 town. Yet you deceive yourselves egregiously. The gang upon 
 whom we turned the tables were people of a very bad character, 
 and their company began to be disreputable to us. Thus far justice 
 must be done to the members of our profession, that there is no 
 bond in all civilized life less liable to be broken by personal and 
 private interest ; but when there are no feelings in common, our 
 good understanding will be the worse for wear, as it happens among 
 other descriptions of men. Wherefore, Signor Gil Bias, I entreat 
 you, and Signor Don Alphonso as well as you, to be somewhat more 
 liberal in your construction of us, and to set your hearts at ease re- 
 specting Don Raphael's and my whim about going to Segorba." 
 
 "It is the easiest thing in the world," observed Lucinda's hope- 
 ful brat, " to quash all subject of uneasiness on that score ; they 
 have only to remain treasurers of the exchequer, and they will have 
 a sufficient pledge in their hands for our return. You see, Signor 
 Gil Bias, that we are all fair and above board. You shall both 
 22
 
 338 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 hold security for our reappearance, and you may rest assured that 
 for Ambrose and myself, we shall set off without the slightest mis- 
 giving of your taking to your heels with so valuable a deposit. 
 After so substantial a proof of our good faith, will you not place 
 implicit confidence in us?" "Yes, gentlemen," said I, "and you 
 may do at once whatever seems good in your own eyes." They 
 took their departure immediately, carrying the bottle and the 
 wallet along with them, and left me under the willows with Don 
 Alphonso, who said to me, after they were out of sight, "Now is 
 the time, Signer Gil Bias, to open my heart to you. I am angry 
 with myself for having been so easily prevailed on to herd thus far 
 with these two knaves. You have no idea how many times I have 
 quarrelled with myself on that score. Yesterday evening, while I 
 was watching the horses, a thousand mortifying reflections rushed 
 upon my mind. I thought it did not become a young man of 
 honorable principles to live among such scurvy fellows as Don 
 Eaphael and Lamela ; that if by ill luck, some day or other, and 
 many a more unlikely thing has happened, the success of our. 
 swindling tricks should throw us into the hands of justice, I might 
 sustain the shame of being tried with them as a reputed thief, and 
 undergoing the disgraceful sentence of the law. These frightful 
 thoughts present themselves incessantly to my imagination, and I will 
 own to you that I have determined, as the only means of escape from 
 the contamination of their bad actions, to part from them forever. I 
 can scarcely suppose that you will disapprove of my design." "No, 
 I promise you," answered I ; " though you have seen me perform the 
 part of the alguazil in Samuel Simon's comedy, do not fancy that 
 such pieces as those are got up to my taste. I take heaven to 
 witness that while acting in so witty a scene, I said to myself, 
 ' Faith and troth, Master Gil Bias, if justice should come and lay 
 hold of you by the weasand at this moment, you would well deserve 
 the penitential wages of your iniquity.' I feel therefore no more 
 disposed than yourself, Don Alphonso, to tarry longer in such bad 
 company ; and if you think well of it, I will bear you company. 
 When these gentlemen come back, we will demand a balancing of 
 the accounts, and to-morrow morning, or even to-night before 
 to-morrow, we will make our bow to them." 
 
 The lovely Seraphina's lover approved my proposal. " Let us 
 get to Valencia," said he, " and we will embark for Italy, where we 
 shall be able to enter into the service of the Venetian republic. 
 Will it not be far better to take up the profession of arms, than to 
 lead such a dastardly and disreputable life as we are now engaged 
 in? We shall even be in a condition to make a very handsome figure 
 with the money that will be coming to us. Not that I appropriate to
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 339 
 
 myself without remorse a fund so unfairly established ; Init besides 
 that necessity obliges me to it, if ever I acquire any property in my 
 campaigns, I make a vow to indemnify Samuel Simon." I gave 
 Don Alphonso to understand that my sentiments coincided with 
 his own, and we resolved at once to separate ourselves from our 
 companions on the following morning before daybreak. We were 
 above the temptation of profiting by their absence, that is, of 
 marching off in a hurry with the sum total of the finances ; the con- 
 fidence they had reposed in leaving us masters of the whole revenue 
 did not permit such a thought so much as to pass through our 
 minds.. 
 
 Ambrose and Don Raphael returned from Segorba just at the 
 close of day. The first thing they told us was, that their journey 
 had been propitious, for they had laid the corner-stone of a rascality 
 which, to all appearance, would turn out still better than that of 
 the evening before. And thereupon the son of Lucinda was going 
 to put us in possession of the details ; but Don Alphonso cut him 
 short in his explanation, and declared at once his intention of part- 
 ing company. I announced my own wish to do the same. To no 
 purpose did they employ all their rhetoric to prove to us the pro- 
 priety of our accompanying them in their professional travels; we. 
 took leave of them the next morning, after having made an equal ' 
 division of our cash, and pushed on towards Valencia. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 AN UNFORTUNATE OCCURRENCE, WHICH TERMINATED TO THE HIGH 
 DELIGHT OF DON ALPHONSO. 
 
 WE galloped on gayly as far as Bunol, where, as ill luck would 
 have it, we were obliged to stop. Don Alphonso was taken 
 ill. His disorder was a high fever, with such an excess of alarming 
 symptoms as put me in fear for his life. By the greatest mercy in 
 the world, the place was not beset by a single physician, and I got 
 clear off without any harm but my fright. He was quite out of 
 danger at the end of three days, and with my nursing, his recovery 
 was rapid and without relapse. He seemed to be very grateful for 
 my attentions, and as we really and truly felt a liking for each 
 other, we swore an eternal friendship. 
 At length we got on our journey again, in the constant determi-
 
 840 ADVENTUJtES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 nation, when we arrived at Valencia, of profiting by the first oppor- 
 tunity which might offer to go over into Italy. But Heaven dis- 
 posed of us differently. We saw at the gate of a fine castle some 
 country people of both sexes making merry and dancing in a ring. 
 We went near to be spectators of their revels ; and Don Alphonso 
 was never less prepared than for the surprise which all at once came 
 over his senses. He found it was Baron Steinbach, who was as 
 little backward in recognizing him, but ran up to him with open 
 arms, and exclaimed, in accents of unbridled joy, "Ah, Don 
 Alphonso ! is it you ? What a delightful meeting 1 While search 
 was being made for you in every direction, chance presents you to 
 my view." 
 
 My fellow-traveller dismounted immediately, and ran to embrace 
 the baron, whose joy seemed to be of an extravagant nature. 
 "Come, my long-lost son," said the good old man ; "you shall now 
 be informed of your own birth, and know the happy destiny that 
 awaits you." As he uttered these words, he conducted him into the 
 castle. I went in along with them, for while they were exchanging 
 salutations, I had alighted and tied our horses to a tree. The lord 
 of the castle was the first person whom we met. He was about the 
 .age of fifty, and a very well-looking man. " Sir," said Baron Stein- 
 'bach, as he introduced Don Alphonso, " behold your son." At these 
 words, Don Csesar de Leyva for by that title the lord of the castle 
 was called threw his arms round Don Alphonso's neck, and weep- 
 ing with joy, muttered indistinctly, " My dear son, know in me the 
 author of your being. If I have for so long left you in ignorance of 
 your birth and family, rest assured that the self-denial was mine in 
 the most painful degree. I have a thousand times been ready to 
 burst with anxiety, but it was impossible to act otherwise. I had 
 married your mother from sheer attachment, for her origin was very 
 inferior to mine. I lived under the control of an austere father, 
 whose severity rendered it necessary to keep secret a marriage con- 
 tracted without his sanction. Baron Steinbach, and he alone, was 
 in my confidence ; he brought you up at my request, and under my 
 directions. At length my father is laid with his ancestors, and I 
 can own you for my son and heir. This is not all ; I can give you 
 for a bride a young lady whose rank is on a level with my own." 
 " Sir," interrupted Don Alphonso, " make me not pay too dear for 
 the happiness you have just been throwing in my lap. May I not 
 be told that I have the honor of being your son without being in- 
 formed at the same time that you are determined to make me mise- 
 rable ? Ah, sir, be not more cruel than your own father. If he did 
 not consent to the indulgence of your passion, at least he never 
 compelled you to take another wife." "My son," replied Don
 
 ADVENTURES OF GTL BIAS. 341 
 
 Caesar, " I have no wish to exercise a tyranny over your inclinations 
 which I spurned at in my own case. But have the good manners 
 just to see the lady I design for you ; that is all I require from your 
 filial duty. Though a lovely creature, and a very advantageous 
 match, I promise never to force you into marriage. She is now in 
 this castle. Follow me; you will be obliged to acknowledge that 
 you have rarely seen a more attractive object." So saying, he led 
 Don Alphonso into a room where I made made myself one of the 
 party with Baron Steinbach. 
 
 There was the Count de Polan, with his two daughters, Seraphina 
 and Julia, and Don Ferdinand de Leyva, his son-in-law, who was 
 Don Caesar's nephew. Don Ferdinand, as was mentioned before, 
 had eloped with Julia, and it was on the occasion of the marriage 
 between these two lovers that the peasantry of the neighborhood 
 were collected on this day to congratulate the bride and bride- 
 groom. As soon as Don Alphonso made his appearance, and his 
 father had introduced him to the company, the Count de Polan rose 
 from his chair and ran to embrace him, saying, " Welcome, my de- 
 liverer ! Don Alphonso," added he, addressing his discourse to 
 him, " observe the power of virtue over generous minds. Though 
 you have killed my son, you saved my life. I lay aside my resent- 
 ment forever, and give you that very Seraphina whose honor you 
 protected from invasion. In so doing, my debt to you is paid." 
 Don Caesar's son was not wanting in acknowledgments to the Count 
 de Polan, nor could he be otherwise than deeply affected by his 
 goodness ; and it may be doubted whether the discovery of his 
 birth and parentage touched his felicity more nearly than the intel- 
 ligence that he was the destined husband of Seraphina. This mar- 
 riage was actually solemnized some days afterwards, to the entire 
 satisfaction of all concerned. 
 
 As I was one of the Count de Polan's deliverers, this nobleman, 
 who knew me again immediately, said that he would take upon 
 himself the care of making my fortune. I thanked him for his libe- 
 rality, but would not leave Don Alphonso, who made me steward of 
 his household, and honored me with his confidence. A few days 
 after his marriage, still harping upon the trick which had been 
 played to Samuel Simon, he sent me to return to that cozened shop- 
 keeper all the money which had been filched from him. I went, 
 therefore, to make restitution. This was setting up the trade of a 
 steward, but beginning at the wrong end : they ought all of them 
 to end with restitution ; but nine hundred and ninety-nine out of 
 a thousand think it double trouble, and excuse themselves.
 
 342 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 BOOK VII. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 THE TENDER ATTACHMENT BETWEEN GIL BLAS AND DAME LOEENZA 
 SEPHOKA. 
 
 WITH three thousand ducats under my charge, as an equiva- 
 lent to Samuel Simon for the amount of his loss, away went 
 I to Xelva. I will have the honesty to own that my fingers itched, 
 as I jogged along, to transfer these funds to my own account, and 
 begin my stewardship in character, since everything in this life 
 depends upon setting out well. There was no risk in preferring 
 instinct to principle, because it was only to ride about the country 
 for five or six days, and come home upon a brisk trot, as if I had 
 done my business and made the best of my way. Don Alphonso 
 and his father would never have believed me capable of a breach of 
 trust. Yet, strange to tell, I was proof against so tempting a sug- 
 gestion ; it would scarcely be too much to say, that honor, not the 
 fear of being found out, was the spring of so praiseworthy a deci- 
 sions and as times go, that is saying a great deal for a lad whose 
 conscience had been pretty well seasoned by keeping company with 
 a long succession of scoundrels. Many people who have not that 
 excuse, but frequent worshipful society, will wonder how such 
 squeamishness should have prevailed over my good sense: treas- 
 urers of charities in particular ; persons who have the wills of rela- 
 tions in their custody, and do not exactly like the contents; in 
 short, all those whose characters stand higher than their principles, 
 will find food for reflection in my overstrained scrupulosity. 
 
 After having made restitution to the merchant, who little thought 
 ever to have seen one farthing of his property again, I returned to 
 the castle of Leyva. The Count de Polan had taken his departure, 
 and was far on his journey to Toledo with Julia and Don Ferdi- 
 nand. I found my new master more wrapped up than ever in Sera- 
 phina ; his Seraphina equally wrapped up in my master, and Don 
 Caesar just as much wrapped up as either in the contemplation of 
 the happy couple. My object was to gain the good will of this 
 affectionate father, and I succeeded to my wish. The whole house 
 was placed implicitly under my superintendence nothing was done 
 without my special direction ; the tenants paid their rents into my 
 hands ; the disbursements of the family were all under my revision ;
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 343 
 
 and the subordinate situations in the household were at my disposal 
 without appeal ; and yet the power of tyrannizing did not give me 
 the inclination, as it has always hitherto done to my equals and 
 superiors. I neither turned away the male servants because I did 
 not like the cut of their beards, nor the female ones because they 
 happened not to like the cut of mine. If they made up to Don 
 Caesar or his son at once, without currying my favor as the channel 
 of all good graces, far from taking umbrage at them on that account, 
 I spoke out officiously in their behalf. In other respects, too, the 
 marks of confidence my two masters were incessantly lavishing on 
 me inspired me with a substantial zeal for their service. Their 
 interest was my real object ; there was no sleight of hand in my 
 ministry ; I was such a caterer for the general good as you rarely 
 meet with in private families or in political societies. 
 
 While I was hugging myself on the well-earned prosperity of my 
 condition, love, jealous of my dealings with fortune, was bent on 
 sharing my gratitude by the addition of a higher zest. He planted, 
 watered, and ripened in the heart of Dame Lorenza Sephora, Sera- 
 phina's confidential woman, an abundant crop of liking for the 
 happy steward. My Helen, not to sink the fidelity of the historian 
 in the vanity of the man, could not be many months short of her 
 fiftieth year. But for all that, a look of wholesomeness, a face none 
 of the ugliest, and two good-looking eyes, of which she knew the 
 efficient use, might make her still pass for a decent bit of amuse- 
 ment in a summer evening. I could only just have been thankful 
 for a little more relief to her complexion, since it was precisely the 
 color of chalk ; but that I attributed to maiden concealments, which 
 had eaten away all the damask of her cheek. 
 
 The lady ogled me for a long time with eyes that savored more of 
 passion than of chastity ; but instead of communing in the language 
 of the eyes, I made pretence at first not to be sensible of my own 
 happiness. Thus did my gallantry appear as if arrayed in its first 
 blushes ; a circumstance which was rather tempting than repulsive 
 to her feelings. Taking it into her head, therefore, that there was 
 no standing upon dumb eloquence with a young man who looked 
 more like a novice than he was, at our very first interview she 
 declared her sentiments in broad, unequivocal terms, that I might 
 have no plea for misinterpretation. She played her part like an 
 old stager ; affected to be overwhelmed with confusion while she 
 was speaking to me ; and after having said all she wanted to say 
 in a good audible voice, put her hand before her face, to hide the 
 shame which was not there, and make me believe that she was in- 
 commoded by the delicacy of her own feelings. There was no 
 standing such an attack ; and though vanity had a larger share in
 
 344 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 my surrender than the tender passion, I did not receive her over- 
 tures ungraciously. Nay, more, I presumed to overlook decorum 
 in my vivacity, and acted the impatient lover so naturally as to call 
 down a modest rebuke upon my freedoms. Lorenza chid my fond- 
 ness, but with so much fondness in her chidings, that while she 
 prescribed to me the coldness of an anchoret, it was very evident 
 she would have been miserably disappointed if I had taken her pre- 
 scription. I should have pressed the affair at once to the natural 
 termination of all such affairs, if the lovely object of my ardent 
 wishes had not been afraid of giving me a left-handed opinion of 
 her virtue, by abandoning the works before the siege was regularly 
 formed. This being so, we parted, but with a promise to meet 
 again ; Sephora in the full persuasion that her reluctant resistance 
 would stamp her for a vestal in my esteem, and myself full of the 
 sweet hope that the torments of Tantalus would soon be succeeded 
 by an elysium of enjoyment. 
 
 My affairs were in this happy train, when one of Don Csesar's 
 under-servants brought me such a piece of news as gave an ague 
 to my raptures. This lad was one of those inquisitive inmates who 
 apply either an ear or an eye to every keyhole in a house. As he 
 paid his court constantly to me, and served up some fresh piece of 
 scandal every day, he came to tell me one morning that he had 
 made a pleasant discovery, and that he had no objection to letting 
 me into the fun, on condition that I would not blab ; because Dame 
 Lorenza Sephora was the theme of the joke, and he was afraid of 
 becoming obnoxious to her resentment and revenge. I was too 
 much interested in coming at the story he had to tell, not to swear 
 myself into discretion through thick and thin ; but it was necessary 
 that my motive should seem curiosity, and not personal concern, so 
 that I asked him, with an air of as much indifference as I could put 
 on, what was this mighty discovery about which he made such a 
 piece of work. " Lorenza," whispered he, " smuggles the surgeon 
 of the village every evening into her apartment: he is a tight ves- 
 sel, well armed and manned ; and the pirate generally stays pretty 
 long upon his cruise. I do not mean to say," added he, with super- 
 cilious candor, " but all this may be perfectly innocent on both sides ; 
 but you cannot help admitting that where a young man does in- 
 sinuate himself slyly into a. girl's bed-chamber, he takes better care 
 of his own pleasure than of her reputation." 
 
 Though this tale gave me as much uneasiness as if I had been 
 verily and romantically in love, I had too much sense to let him 
 know it ; but so far stifled my feelings as to laugh heartily at a story 
 which struck at the very life of all my hopes. But when no wit- 
 nesses were by, I made myself full amends for having gulped down
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 345 
 
 my rising indignation. I blustered and stormed, muttered blessings 
 on them the wrong way, and swore outright ; but all this without 
 coming nearer to a decision on my own conduct. At one time, holding 
 Lorenza in utter contempt, it was my good pleasure to give her up, 
 altogether, without condescending so far as to come to any explana-> 
 tion with the coquette. At another time, laying it down as a prin-> 
 ciple that my honor was concerned in making the surgeon an ex? 
 ample to all intriguers, I spirited up my courage to call him out. 
 Thus dangerous valor prevailed over safe indifference. At the 
 approach of evening I placed myself in ambuscade ; and sure 
 enough, the gentleman did slink into the temple of my Vesta, with 
 a fear of being found out that spoke rather unfavorably for the 
 purity of his designs. Nothing short of this could have kept my 
 rage alive against the chilliness of the night air. I immediately 
 quitted the precincts of the castle, and posted myself on the high 
 road, where the gay deceiver was sure to be intercepted on his re- 
 turn. I waited for him with my fighting spirits on the full boil; 
 my impatience increased with the lapse of time, till Mars and Bel- 
 lona seemed to inhabit my frame, and enlarge it beyond human 
 dimensions. At length my antagonist came in sight. I took a few 
 strides, such as bully Mars or Bellona might have taken ; but I do 
 not know how the devil it came to pass, my courage went farther off 
 as my body came nearer ; my frame was contracted within some- 
 what less than its human dimensions, and my heart felt exactly like 
 the heart of a coward. The hearts of Homer's heroes felt exactly 
 the same, when the dastardly dogs were not backed by a supernatural 
 Drawcansir! In short, I was just as much out of my element as 
 ever Paris was when he pitted himself against Menelaus in single 
 combat. I began taking measure of this operator in love, war and 
 anatomy. He appeared to be large limbed and well knit, with a 
 sword by his side of a most abominable length. All this made me 
 consider that the better part of valor is discretion : nevertheless, 
 whether from the superiority of mind over the nervous system in a 
 case of honor, or from whatever other cause, though the danger 
 grew bigger as the distance diminished, and in spite of nature, 
 which pleaded obstinately that honor is a mere scutcheon, and can 
 neither set a leg nor take away the grief of a wound, I mustered 
 up boldness enough to march forward towards the surgeon sword in 
 hand. 
 
 My proceeding seemed to him to be of the drollest. " What is 
 the matter, Signor Gil Bias?" exclaimed he. "Why all this fire 
 and fury? You are in a bantering mood, to all appearance." 
 "No, good master shaver," answered I, "no such thing; there 
 never was anything more serious since Cain killed Abel. I am
 
 346 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 determined to try the experiment whether as little preparation 
 serves your turn in the field of battle as in a lady's chamber. Hope 
 not that you will be suffered to possess without a rival -that heaven 
 of bliss in which you have been indulging but this moment at the 
 castle." "By all the martyrdoms we phlebotomizers have ever 
 suffered or inflicted," replied the surgeon, setting up a shout of 
 laughter, " this is a most whimsical adventure. As heaven is my 
 judge, appearances are very little to be trusted." At this put-off', 
 fancying that he had no keener stomach for cold iron than myself, 
 I got to be ten times more overbearing. " Teach your parrot to 
 speak better Spanish, my friend," interrupted I ; "do you think we 
 do not know a hawk from a hernshaw? Imagine not that the 
 simple denial of the fact will settle the business." " I see plainly," 
 replied he, " that I shall be obliged to speak out, or some mischief 
 must happen either to you or me. I shall therefore disclose a 
 secret to you, though men in our profession cannot be too much on 
 the reserve. If Dame Lorenza sends for me into her apartment 
 under suspicious circumstances, it is only to conceal from the ser- 
 vants the knowledge of her malady. She has an incurable ulcer in 
 her back, which I come every evening to dress. This is the real 
 occasion of those visits. which disturb your peace. Henceforward, 
 rest assured that you have her all to yourself. But if you are not 
 satisfied with this explanation, and are absolutely bent on a fencing 
 match, you have only to say so ; I am not a man to turn my back 
 upon a game at sword-play." With these words in his mouth, he 
 drew his long rapier, which made my heart jump into my throat, 
 and stood upon his guard. "It is enough," said I, putting my 
 sword up again in its scabbard ; " I am not a wild beast, to turn a 
 deaf ear to reason : after what you have told me, there is no cause 
 of enmity between us. Let us shake hands." At this proposal, by 
 which he found out that I was not such a devil of a fellow as he 
 had taken me for, he returned his weapon with a laugh, met my 
 advances to be reconciled, and we parted the best friends in the 
 world. 
 
 From that time forward Sephora never came into my thoughts 
 but with the most disgusting associations. I shunned all the 
 opportunities she gave me of entertaining her in private, and this 
 with so obvious a study, almost bordering on rudeness, that she 
 could not but notice it. Astonished at so sudden a reverse, she 
 was dying to know the cause, and at length, finding the means of 
 'pinning me down to a tete-d-tete, " Good Mr. Steward," said she, 
 "tell me, if so please you, why you avoid the very sight of me? 
 It is true that I made the first advances ; but then you fed the con- 
 suming fire. Recall to memory, if it is not too great a favor, the
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 347 
 
 private interview we had together. Then you were a magazine of 
 combustibles, now you are as frozen as the north sea. What is the 
 meaning of all this?" The question was not a little difficult of 
 solution, for a man unaccustomed to the violence of amorous inter- 
 rogatories. The consequence was, that it puzzled me most con- 
 foundedly. I do not precisely recollect the identical lie I told the 
 lady, but I recollect perfectly that nothing but the truth could have 
 affronted her more highly. Sephora, though by her mincing air 
 and modest outside one might have taken her for a lamb, was a 
 tigress when the savage was roused in her nature. " I did think," 
 said she, darting a glance at me full of malice and hideousness, " I 
 did think to have conferred such honor as was never conferred 
 before, on a little scoundrel like you, by betraying sentiments which 
 the first nobility in the country would make it their boast to excite. 
 Fitly indeed am I punished for having preposterously lowered 
 myself to the level of a dirty, snivelling adventurer." 
 
 That was pretty well ; but she did not stop there : I should have 
 come off too cheaply on such terms. Her fury taking a long lease 
 of her tongue, that brawling instrument of discord rung a bob-major 
 of invective, each strain more clamorous and confounding than the 
 former. It certainly was my duty to have received it all with cool 
 indifference, and to have considered candidly that in triumphing 
 over female reserve, and then not taking possession of the conquest, 
 I had committed that sin against the sex which would have trans- 
 formed the most feminine of them into a Sephora. But I was too 
 irritable to bear abuse, at which a man of sense in my place would 
 only have laughed ; and my patience was at length exhausted. 
 "Madam," said I, " let us not rake into each other's personal mis- 
 fortunes. If the first nobility in the country had only looked at 
 your back, they would have forgotten all your other charms, and 
 would have boasted but little of the sentiments they had excited 
 you to betray." I had no sooner laid in this home stroke, than the 
 enraged duenna visited me with the hardest box on the ear that 
 ever yet proceeded from the delicate fingers of a woman scorned. 
 Such favors might pall on repetition ; so I did not wait for a second, 
 but took shelter in the nimblenesa of my legs from the clatter of 
 castigation she was going to shower down on me. 
 
 I returned thanks to the protecting powers for having brought 
 me clear off from this unequal encounter, and fancied that I had 
 nothing further to apprehend, since the lady had taken corporal 
 vengeance. It was likely, too, that she would be wise and hold her 
 tongue, for the honor of her own back ; and, in point of fact, a full 
 fortnight had elapsed without my hearing a word upon the subject. 
 The very tingling in my own cheek began to abate, when I was
 
 348 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 told that Sephora was taken ill. With that forgiveness of injuries 
 so natural to me, I was sincerely afflicted at the news. I really felt 
 for the poor lady. I concluded that, unable to contend with a 
 passion so ill repaid, that hapless victim of her own tenderness was 
 giving up the ghost. It was with exquisite pain that I turned this 
 subject in my thoughts. I was the cruel cause that her heart was 
 breaking; and my pity, at least, was the duenna's, though love is 
 too wayward to be controlled by advice. But I was miserably mis- 
 taken in her nature. Her tenderness had all curdled into acri- 
 monious hatred ; and at that very moment was she plotting to be 
 my bane. 
 
 One morning, while I was with Don Alphonso, that amiable 
 young master of mine seemed absent, moody, and out of spirits. I 
 inquired respectfully what was the matter. " I am vexed to the 
 soul," said he, " to find Seraphina weak, unjust, ungrateful. You 
 are not a little surprised at this," added he, remarking the expres- 
 sion of astonishment with which I heard him; "yet nothing is 
 more strictly and lamentably true. I know not what reason you 
 have given Dame Lorenza to be at variance with you ; but true it 
 is, you are become so unbearably hateful to her, that if you do not 
 get out of this castle as soon as possible, her death, she says, must 
 be the sure consequence. You cannot but suppose that Seraphina, 
 who knows your value, used all her influence at first against a pre- 
 judice to which she could not administer without injustice and in- 
 gratitude. But though the best of women, she is still a woman. 
 Sephora brought her up, and she loves her like a mother. Should 
 her old nurse die shortly, she would fancy she had her death to 
 answer for, had she refused herself to any of her whims. For my 
 own part, with all my affection towards Seraphina, and it is none 
 of the weakest, I will never be guilty of so mean a compliance as 
 to side with her on this question. Perish our duennas ! perish the 
 whole system of our Spanish vigilance ! but never let me consent to 
 the banishment of a young man whom I look upon rather as a 
 brother than a servant !" 
 
 When Don Alphonso had thus expressed his sentiments, I said to 
 him, "My good sir, I am born to be the mere whipping-top of For- 
 tune. It had been my hope that she would leave off persecuting me 
 when under your roof, where everything held out to me happy days 
 and an unruffled life. Now, the part for honor to take is to tear 
 myself away, whatever hankering I may feel after my continuance." 
 " No, no," exclaimed the generous son of Don Caesar. " Leave me 
 to bring Seraphina to a proper view of things. It shall never be 
 said that you are sacrificed to the caprices of a duenna, who, on 
 every occasion, has but too much influence over the family." " All
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 349 
 
 you will get by it, sir," replied I, " will only be to put Seraphina in 
 an ill humor by opposing her wishes. I had much rather withdraw 
 than run the risk, by a longer abode here, of sowing division between 
 a married pair, who are a model of conjugal felicity. Such a con- 
 sequence of my unhappy quarrel would make me miserable for the 
 remainder of my days." 
 
 Don Alphonso absolutely forbade me to take any hasty step ; and 
 I found him so determined in the intention of standing by me, that 
 Lorenza must infallibly have been thrown into the background if I 
 had chosen to have stood an election against her. There were mo- 
 ments when, exasperated against the duenna, I was tempted to keep 
 no measures with her ; but when I came to consider that to unravel 
 this surgical mystery would be to plunge a dagger into the heartjof 
 a poor creature, whose curse had been my fastidious prejudice 
 against an ulcerated back, and whom a physical and mental misfor- 
 tune were conjointly handing down to the grave, I lost all feeling 
 but that of compassion towards her. It was evident, since I was so 
 portentous a phenomenon, that it was my imperious duty to reestab- 
 lish the tranquillity of the castle by my absence; and that duty I 
 performed the next morning before daybreak, without taking any 
 leave of my two masters, for fear they should oppose my departure 
 from a misplaced partiality towards me. My only notice was to 
 leave behind in my chamber a memorial containing an exact ac- 
 count of my receipts and disbursements during the time of my 
 stewardship. 
 
 CHAPTEE II. 
 
 WHAT HAPPENED TO GIL BLAS AFTER HIS RETREAT FROM THE CASTLE 
 
 OF LEYVA. 
 
 I WAS mounted on a good horse, my own property, and was the 
 bearer of two hundred pistoles, the greater part of which arose 
 from the plunder of the vanquished banditti, and the forfeiture of 
 Samuel Simon by the Inquisition ; for Don Alphonso, without re- 
 quiring me to account for any part of the said forfeiture, had made 
 restitution of the entire sum out of his own funds. Thus, consider- 
 ing my effects, however obtained, as converted into lawful property 
 by a sort of vicarious sponsorship, I took them into my good graces 
 without any remorse of conscience. An estate like this rendered 
 it absurd to throw away any thought about the future ; and a cer-
 
 850 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 tain likelihood of doing well, which always hangs about a young 
 man at my age, held out an additional security against the caprices 
 of fortune. Besides, Toledo offered me a retreat exactly to my mind. 
 There could not be a doubt but the Count de Polan would take a 
 pleasure in giving a kind reception to one of his deliverers, and 
 would insist on his accepting an apartment in his own house. But 
 I only looked upon this nobleman as a very distant resource ; and 
 determined, before laying any tax on his grateful recollection, to 
 spend part of my ready cash in travelling over the provinces of 
 Murcia and Granada, which I had a very particular inclination to 
 see. With this intention I took the Almanza road, and afterwards, 
 following the route chalked out, travelled from town to town as far 
 as. the city of Granada, without stumbling on any sinister occur- 
 rence. It should seem as if Fortune, wearied out with the school- 
 girl's tricks she had been playing me, was contented at last to leave 
 me as she found me. But she still had her skittish designs upon me, 
 as will be seen in the sequel. 
 
 One of the first persons I met in the streets of Granada was Signer 
 Don Ferdinand de Leyva, son-in-law, as well as Don Alphonso, of 
 the Count de Polan. We were both of us equally surprised at meet- 
 ing so far from home. "How is this, Gil Bias?" exclaimed he 
 "to find you in this city! What the devil brings you hither?" 
 "Sir," said I, "if you are astonished at seeing me in this country, 
 you will be ten times more so when you shall know why I have 
 quitted the service of Signor Don Ca3sar and his son." Then I re- 
 counted to him all that had passed between Sephora and myself, 
 without garbling the facts in any particular. He laughed heartily 
 at the recital ; then, recovering his gravity, " My friend," said he, 
 " my mediation is at your service in this affair. I will write to my 
 sister-in-law." ..." No, no, sir," interrupted I, " do not write upon 
 the subject, I beseech you. I did not quit the castle of Leyva to go 
 back again. You may, if you please, make another use of the kind- 
 ness you have expressed for me. If any of your friends should be 
 looking out for a secretary or a steward, I should be much obliged 
 to you to speak a good word in my favor. I will take upon me to 
 assure you that you will never be reproached with recommending 
 an improper object." " You have only to command me," answered 
 he ; "I will do whatever you desire. My business at Granada is to 
 visit an old aunt in an ill state of health. I shall be here three 
 weeks longer, after which I shall set out on my return to my castle 
 of Lorqui, where I liave left Julia. That is my lodging," added he, 
 showing me a house about a hundred yards from us. "Call upon 
 me in a few days ; probably I may by that time have hit upon some 
 eligible appointment."
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 351 
 
 And, in fact, so it was; for the very first time that we came 
 together again, he said to me, " My Lord Archbishop of Granada, 
 my relation and friend, is in want of a young man with some little 
 tinge of literature, who can write a good hand and make fair copies 
 of his manuscripts, for he is a great author. He has composed I 
 know not how many homilies, and still goes on composing more 
 every day, which he delivers to the high edification of his audience. 
 As you seem to be just the thing for him, I have mentioned your 
 name, and he has promised to take you. Go, and make your bow 
 to him as from me ; you will judge, by his reception of you, whether 
 my recommendation has been couched in handsome terms." 
 
 The situation was, to all appearance, exactly what I should have 
 picked out for myself. That being the case, with such an arrange- 
 ment of my air and person as seemed most likely to square with the 
 ideas of a reverend prelate, I presented myself one morning before 
 the archbishop. If this were a gorgeous romance, and not a grave 
 history, here might we introduce a pompous description of the epis- 
 copal palace, with architectural digressions on the structure of the 
 building ; here would be the place to expatiate on the costliness of 
 the furniture like an upholsterer, to criticise the statues and pictures 
 like a connoisseur ; and the pictures themselves would be nothing 
 to the uninformed reader without the stories they represent, till uni- 
 versal history, fabulous and authentic, sacred and profane, should 
 be pressed into the service. But I shall content myself with mod- 
 estly stating that the royal palace itself is scarcely superior in 
 magnificence. 
 
 Throughout the suite of apartments, there was a complete mob of 
 ecclesiastics and other officers, consisting of chaplains, ushers, upper 
 and menial servants. Those of them who were laymen were most 
 superbly attired ; one would sooner have taken them for temporal 
 nobility than for spiritual under-strappers. They were as proud as 
 the devil, and gave themselves intolerably consequential airs. I 
 could not help laughing in my sleeve, when I considered who and 
 what they were, and how they behaved. " Set a beggar on horse- 
 back !" said I. " These gentry are in luck to carry a pack without 
 feeling the drag of it, for surely if they knew they were beasts of 
 burden, they would not jingle their bells with so high a toss of the 
 head." I ventured just to speak to a grave and portly personage 
 who stood sentinel at the door of the archbishop's closet, to turn it 
 upon its hinges as occasion might require. I asked him civilly if 
 there was no possibility of speaking with my lord archbishop. 
 " Stop a little," said he, with a supercilious demeanor and repulsive 
 tone ; " his grace will shortly come forth, to go and hear mass ; you 
 may snatch an audience for a moment as he passes on." I answered
 
 352 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 not a single syllable. Patience was all I had for it ; and it even 
 seemed advisable to try and enter into conversation with some of 
 the jacks in office; but they began conning me over from the sole of 
 my foot to the crown of my head, without condescending to favor me 
 with a single interjection ; after which they winked at one another, 
 whispered, ami looked out at the corners of their eyes, in derision 
 of the liberty I had assumed, by intruding upon their select society. 
 
 I felt more fool that I did so quite out of countenance at such 
 cavalier treatment from a knot of state footmen. My confusion was 
 but beginning to subside, when the closet door opened. The arch- 
 bishop made his appearance. A profound silence immediately en- 
 sued among his officers, who quitted at once their insolent behavior, 
 to adopt a more respectful style before their master. That prelate 
 was in his sixty-ninth year, formed nearly on the model of my 
 uncle, Gil Perez, the canon, which is as much as to say, as broad 
 as he was long. But the highest dignitaries should always be the 
 most amply gifted ; accordingly his legs bowed inwards to the very 
 extremity of the graceful curve, and his bald head retained but a 
 single lock behind, so that he was obliged to ensconce his pericra- 
 nium in a fine woollen cap with long ears. In spite of all this, I 
 espied the man of quality in his deportment, doubtless because I 
 knew that he actually happened to be one. We common fellows, 
 the fungous growth of the human dunghill, look up to great lords 
 with a facility of being overawed, which often furnishes them with 
 a Benjamin's mess of importance when nature has denied even the 
 most scanty and trivial gifts. 
 
 The archbishop moved towards me in a minuet step, and kindly 
 inquired what I wanted. I told him I was the young man about whom 
 Signor Don Ferdinand de Leyva had spoken to him. He did not 
 give me a moment to go on with my story. " Ah ! is it you?" ex- 
 claimed he; " is it you of whom so fine a character has been given 
 me? I take you into my service at once; you are a mine of lite- 
 rary utility to me. You have only to take up your abode here." 
 Talking thus condescendingly, he supported himself between two 
 ushers, and moved onwards, after having given audience to some 
 of his clergy, who had ecclesiastical business to communicate. He 
 was scarcely out of the room when the same officers who had turned 
 upon their heel were now cap in hand to court my conversation. 
 Here the rascals are pressing round me, currying favor, and express- 
 ing their sincere joy at seeing me become as it were an heirloom of 
 the archbishopric. They had heard what their master had said, 
 and were dying with anxiety to know on what footing I was to be 
 about him ; but I had the ill nature not to satisfy their curiosity, in 
 revenge for their contempt.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 358 
 
 My lord archbishop was not long before he returned. He took me 
 with him into his closet for a little private conference. I could not 
 but suppose that he meant to fathom the depth of my understand- 
 ing. I was accordingly on my guard, and prepared to measure out 
 my words most methodically. He questioned me first in the 
 classics. My answers were not amiss ; he was convinced that I had 
 more than a schoolboy's acquaintance with the Greek and Latin 
 writers; he examined me next in logic; nor could I but suppose 
 that he would examine me in logic. He found me strong enough 
 there. " Your education," said he, with some degree of surprise, 
 " has not been neglected. Now let me see your handwriting." I 
 took a blank piece of paper out of my pocket, which I had brought 
 for the purpose. My ghostly father was not displeased with my 
 performance. " I am very well satisfied with the mechanical part 
 of your qualifications," exclaimed he, " and still more so with the 
 powers of your mind. I shall thank my nephew, Don Ferdinand, 
 most heartily for having sent me so fine a lad ; it is absolutely a gift 
 from above." 
 
 We were interrupted by some of the neighboring gentry, who 
 were come to dine with the archbishop. I left them together, and 
 withdrew to the second table, where the whole household, with one 
 consent, insisted on giving me the upper hand. Dinner is a busy 
 time at an episcopal ordinary ; and yet we snatched a moment to 
 make our observations on each other. What a mortified propriety 
 was painted on the outside of the clergy ! They had all the look of 
 a deputation from a better world. Strange to think how place and 
 circumstance impose on the deluded sense of men ! It never once 
 came into my thoughts that all this sanctity might possibly be a 
 false coin, just as if there could be nothing but what appertained 
 to the kingdom above among the successors of the apostles on 
 earth. 
 
 I was seated by the side of an old valet-de-chambre, by name 
 Melchior de la Eonda. He took care to help me to all the nice 
 bits. His attentions were not lost upon me, and my good manners 
 quite enraptured him. " My worthy sir," said he, in a low voice, 
 " after dinner I should like to have a little- private talk with you." 
 At the same time he led the way to a part of the palace where we 
 could not be overheard, and there addressed me as follows : " My 
 son, from the very first instant that I saw you, I felt a certain pre- 
 possession in your favor. Of this I will give you a certain proof, by 
 communicating in confidence what will be of great service to you. 
 You are here in a family where true believers and painted hypocrites 
 are playing at cross purposes against each other. It would take an 
 antediluvian age to feel the ground under your feet. I will spare 
 23
 
 854 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 you so long and so disgusting a study by letting you into the char- 
 acters on both sides. After this, if you do not play your cards, it 
 is your own fault. 
 
 " I shall begin with his grace. He is a very pious prelate, em- 
 ployed without ceasing in the instruction of the people, whom he 
 brings back to virtue, like sheep gone astray, by sermons full of 
 excellent morality, and written by himself. He has retired from 
 court these twenty years, to watch over his flock with the zeal of an 
 affectionate pastor. He is a very learned person, and a very im- 
 pressive declaimer ; his whole delight is in preaching, and his con- 
 gregation take care he should know that their whole delight is in 
 hearing him. There may possibly be some little leaven of vanity 
 in all this heavenly-mindedness ; but, besides that it is not for 
 human fallibility to search the heart, it would ill become me to 
 rake into the faults of a person whose bread I eat. Were it decent 
 to lay my finger on anything unbecoming in my master, I should 
 discommend his starchness. Instead of exercising forbearance 
 towards frail churchmen, he visits every peccadillo as if it were a 
 heinous offence. Above all, he prosecutes those with the utmost 
 rigor of the spiritual court who, wrapping themselves up in their 
 innocence, appeal to the canons for their justification, in bar of his 
 despotic authority. There is, besides, another awkward trait in his 
 character, common to him, with many other people of high rank. 
 Though he is very fond of the people about him, he pays not the 
 least attention to their services, but lets them sink into years with- 
 out a moment's thought about securing them any provision. If at 
 any time he makes them any little presents, they may thank the 
 goodness of some one who shall have spoken up in their behalf: he 
 would never have his wits enough about him to do the slightest 
 thing for them as a volunteer." 
 
 This is just what the old valet-de-chambre told me of his master. 
 Next, he let me into what he thought of the clergymen with whom 
 we had dined. His portraits might be likenesses; but they were 
 ^too hard-featured to be owned by the originals. It must be admitted, 
 however, that he did not represent them as honest men, but only as 
 very scandalous priests. Nevertheless, he made some exceptions, 
 and was as loud in their praises as in his censure of the others. I 
 was no longer at any loss how to play my part so as to put myself 
 on an equal footing with these gentry. That very evening, at sup- 
 per, I took a leaf out of their book, and arrayed myself in the con- 
 venient vesture of a wise and prudent outside. A clothing of hu- 
 mility and sanctification costs nothing. Indeed it offers such a 
 premium to the wearer, that we are not to wonder if this world 
 abounds in a description of people called hypocrites.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 355 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 GIL BLAS BECOMES THE ARCHBISHOP'S FAVORITE, AND THE CHANNEL 
 OF ALL HIS FAVORS. 
 
 I HAD been after dinner to get together my baggage, and take 
 my horse from the inn where I had put up, and afterwards re- 
 turned to supper at the archbishop's palace, where a neatly-furnished 
 room was got ready for me, and such a bed as was more likely to 
 pamper than to mortify the flesh. The day following, his grace 
 sent for me quite as soon as I was ready to go to him. It was to 
 give me a homily to transcribe. He made a point of having it 
 copied with all possible accuracy. It was done to please him ; for 
 I omitted neither accent, nor comma, nor the minutest tittle of all 
 he had marked down. His satisfaction at observing this was height- 
 ened by its being unexpected. " Eternal Father !" exclaimed he in 
 a holy rapture, when he had glanced his eye over all the folios of 
 my copy, " was ever anything seen so correct? You are too good a 
 transcriber not to have some little smattering of the grammarian. 
 Now tell me with the freedom of a friend : in writing it over, have 
 you been struck with nothing that grated upon your feelings ? Some 
 little careless idiom, or some word used in an improper sense?" 
 " ! may it please your grace," answered I with a modest air, " it 
 is not for me, with my confined education and coarse taste, to aim 
 at making critical remarks. And though ever so well qualified, I 
 am satisfied that your grace's works would come out pure from the 
 essay." The successor of the apostles smiled at my answer. He 
 made no observation on it ; but it was very easy to perceive, not- 
 withstanding all his professions of piety, that he was an arrant 
 author at the bottom: there is something in that dye that not 
 Heaven itself can wash out. 
 
 I seemed to have purchased the fee-simple of his good graces by 
 my flattery. Day after day did I get a step farther in his esteem ; 
 and Don Ferdinand, who came to see him very often, told me my 
 footing was so firm, that there could not be a doubt but my fortune 
 was made. Of this my master himself gave me a proof some little 
 time afterwards ; and the occasion was as follows : one evening in 
 his closet he rehearsed before me, with appropriate emphasis and 
 action, a homily which he was to deliver the next day in the cathe- 
 dral. He did not content himself with asking what I thought of it 
 in the gross, but insisted on my telling him what passages struck 
 me most. I had the good fortune to pick out those which were 
 nearest to his own taste, his favorite commonplaces. Thus, as luck
 
 356 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 would have it, I passed in his estimation for a man who had a quick 
 and natural relish of the real and less obvious beauties in a work. 
 "This, indeed," exclaimed he, "is what you may call having dis- 
 cernment and feeling in perfection ! Well, well, my friend! it can- 
 not be said of you, 
 
 ' Boeotum in crasso jurares aere natum.' 
 
 In a word he was so highly pleased with me, as to add, in a tone of 
 extraordinary emotion, " Never mind, Gil Bias ! henceforward take 
 no care about hereafter : I shall make it my business to place you 
 among the favored children of my bounty. You have my best 
 wishes ; and to prove to you that you have them, I shall take you 
 into my inmost confidence." 
 
 These words were no sooner out of his mouth, than I fell at his 
 grace's feet, quite overwhelmed with gratitude. I embraced his 
 elliptical legs with almost pagan idolatry, and considered myself as 
 a man on the high road to a very handsome fortune. " Yes, my 
 child," resumed the archbishop, whose speech had been cut short by 
 the rapidity of my prostration, " I mean to make you the receiver- 
 general of all my inmost ruminations. Hearken attentively to what 
 I am going to say. I have a great pleasure in preaching. The 
 Lord sheds a blessing on my homilies ; they sink deep into the 
 hearts of sinners ; set up a glass in which vice sees its own image, 
 and bring back many from the paths of error into the high road of 
 repentance. What a heavenly sight, when a miser, scared at the 
 hideous picture drawn by my eloquence of Tiis avarice, opens his 
 coffers to the poor and needy, and dispenses the accumulated store 
 with a liberal hand I The voluptuary, too, is snatched from the 
 pleasures of the table ; ambition flies at my command to the whole- 
 some discipline of the monastic cell ; while female frailty, tottering 
 on the brink of ruin, with one ear open to the siren voice of the 
 seducer, and the other to my saintly correctives, is restored to do- 
 mestic happiness and the approving smile of Heaven, by the timely 
 warnings of the pulpit. These miraculous conversions, which hap- 
 pen almost every Sunday, ought of themselves to goad me on in the 
 career of saving souls. Nevertheless, to conceal no part of my weak- 
 ness from my monitor, there is another reward on which my heart 
 
 intent, a reward which the seraphic scrupulousness of my virtue 
 ttle purpose condemns as too carnal a literary reputation for a 
 
 bhme and elegant style. The honor of being handed down to 
 posterity as a perfect pulpit orator has its irresistible attractions. 
 My compositions are generally thought to be equally powerful and 
 persuasive; but I could wish of all things to steer clear of the rock 
 on which good authora split, who are too long before the public,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 357 
 
 and to retire from professional life with my reputation in undi- 
 miiiished lustre. 
 
 " To this end, my dear Gil Bias," continued the prelate, " there 
 is one thing requisite from your zeal and friendship. Whenever it 
 shall strike you that my pen begins to contract, as it were, the ossi- 
 fication of old age, whenever you see my genius in its climacteric, 
 do not fail to give me a hint. There is no trusting to one's self in 
 such a case ; pride and conceit were the original sin of man. The 
 probe of criticism must be intrusted to an impartial stander-by, of 
 fine talents and unshaken probity. Both those requisites centre in 
 you ; you are my choice, and I give myself up to your direction." 
 " Heaven be praised, my lord," said I, " there is no need to trouble 
 yourself with any such thoughts yet. Besides, an understanding of 
 your grace's mould and calibre will last out double the time of a 
 common genius ; or, to speak with more certainty and truth, it will 
 never be the worse for wear, if you live to the age of Methuselah. 
 I consider you as a second Cardinal Ximenes, whose powers, superior 
 to decay, instead of flagging with years, seem to derive new vigor 
 from their approximation with the heavenly regions." " No flattery, 
 my friend I" interrupted he. " I know myself to be in danger of 
 failing all at once. At my age one begins to be sensible of in- 
 firmities, and those of the body communicate with the mind. I 
 repeat it to you, Gil Bias, as soon as you shall be of opinion that 
 my head is not so clear as usual, give me warning of it instantly. 
 Do not be afraid of offending by frankness and sincerity : to put me 
 in mind of my own frailty will be the strongest proof of your affec- 
 tion for me. Besides, your very interest is concerned in it, for if it 
 should, by any spite of chance towards you, come to my ears that 
 the people say in town, ' His grace's sermons produce no longer 
 their accustomed impression ; it is time for him to abandon his 
 pulpit to younger candidates,' I d<* assure you, most seriously and 
 solemnly, you will lose not only my friendship, but the provision 
 for life that I have promised you. Such will be the result of your 
 silly tampering with truth." 
 
 Here my patron left off to wait for my answer, which was an 
 echo of his speech, and a promise of ooeying him in all things. 
 From that moment there were no secrets from me ; I became the 
 prime favorite. All the household, except Melchior de la Eonda, 
 looked at me with an eye of envy. It was curious to observe the 
 manner in which the whole establishment, from the highest to the 
 lowest, thought it necessary to demean themselves towards his 
 grace's confidential secretary ; there was no meanness to which they 
 would not stoop to curry favor with me ; I could scarcely believe 
 they were Spaniards. I left no stone unturned to be of service to
 
 358 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 them, without being taken in by their interested assiduities. My 
 lord archbishop, at my entreaty, took them by the hand. He got 
 a company for one, and fitted him out so as to make a handsome 
 figure in the army. Another he sent to Mexico, with a consider- 
 able appointment which he procured him ; and I obtained a good 
 slice of his bounty for my friend Melchior. It was evident, from 
 these facts, that if the prelate was not particularly active in good 
 works, at least he rarely gave a churlish refusal, when any one had 
 the courage to importune him for his benevolence. 
 
 But what I did for a priest seems to deserve being noticed more 
 at large. One day a certain licentiate, by name Lewis Garcias, a 
 well-looking man still in the prime of life, was presented to me by 
 our steward, who said, " Signer Gil Bias, in this honest ecclesiastic 
 you behold one of my best friends. He was formerly chaplain to a 
 nunnery. Scandal has taken a few liberties with his chastity. 
 Malicious stories have been trumped up to hurt him in my lord 
 archbishop's opinion, who has suspended him, and unfortunately is 
 so strongly prejudiced by his enemies, as to be deaf to any petition 
 in his favor. In vain have we interested the first people in Granada 
 to get him reestablished ; our master will not hear of it." 
 
 " These first people in Granada," said I, " have gone the wrong 
 way to work. It would have been much better if no interest at all 
 had been made for the reverend licentiate. People have only done 
 him a mischief by endeavoring to serve him. I know my lord 
 archbishop thoroughly ; entreaties and importunate recommenda- 
 tions do but aggravate the ill condition of a clergyman who lies 
 under his displeasure ; it is but a very short time ago since I heard 
 him mutter the following sentiment to himself, 'The more persons 
 a priest, who has been guilty of any misconduct, engages to speak 
 to me in his behalf, the more widely is the scandal of the church 
 disseminated, and the more sevef e is my treatment of the offender.' " 
 "That is very unlucky," replied the steward; "and my friend 
 would be put to his last shifts if he did not write a good hand. But, 
 happily, he has the pen of a ready scribe, and keeps his head above 
 water by the exercise of that talent." I was curious to see whether 
 this boasted handwriting was so much better than my own. The 
 licentiate, who had a specimen in his pocket, showed me a sheet 
 which I admired very much; it had all the regularity of a writing- 
 master's copy. In looking over this model of penmanship, an idea 
 occurred to me. I begged Gracias to leave this paper in my hands, 
 saying that I might be able to do something with it which should 
 turn out to his advantage ; that I could not explain myself at that 
 moment, but would tell him more the next day. The licentiate, to 
 whom the steward had evidently talked big about my capacity to
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 359 
 
 serve him, withdrew in as good spirits as if he had already been 
 restored to his functions. 
 
 I was in earnest in my endeavor that he should be so, and lost 
 no time in setting to work. Happening to be alone with the arch- 
 bishop, I produced the specimen. My patron was delighted with it. 
 Seizing on this favorable opportunity, " May it please your grace," 
 said I, " since you are determined not to put your homilies to the 
 press, I should very much like them to be transcribed in this 
 masterly manner." 
 
 " I am very well satisfied with your performance," answered the 
 prelate ; " but yet I own that it would be a pleasant thing to have a 
 copy of my works in that hand." " Your grace," replied I, " has 
 only to signify your wishes. The man who copies so well is a 
 licentiate erf my acquaintance. It will give him so much the more 
 pleasure to gratify you, as it may be the means of interesting your 
 goodness to extricate him from the melancholy situation to which 
 he has the misfortune at present to be reduced." 
 
 The prelate could not do otherwise than inquire the name of this 
 licentiate. I told him it was Lewis Garcias. " He is in despair at 
 having drawn down your censure upon him." "That Garcias," 
 interrupted he, " if I am not mistaken, was chaplain in a convent 
 of nuns, and has been brought into the ecclesiastical court as a de- 
 linquent. I recollect some very heavy charges which have been 
 sent me against him. His morals are not the most exemplary." 
 " May it please your grace," interrupted I in my turn, " it is not for 
 me to justify him in all points ; but I know that he has enemies. 
 He maintains that the authors of the informations you have re- 
 ceived are more bent on doing him an ill office than on vindicating 
 the purity of religion." " That very possibly may be the case," 
 replied the archbishop ; " there are a great many firebrands in the 
 world. Besides, though we should take it for granted that his con- 
 duct has not always been above suspicion, he may have repented 
 of his sins ; in short, the mercies of Heaven are infinite, however 
 heinous our transgressions. Bring that licentiate before me ; I take 
 off his suspension." 
 
 Thus it is that men of the most austere character descend from 
 their altitudes when interest or a favorite whim reduces them to the 
 level of the frail. The archbishop granted, without a struggle, to 
 the empty vanity of having his works well copied, what he had re- 
 fused to the most respectable applications. I carried the news with 
 all possible expedition to the steward, who communicated it to his 
 friend Garcias. That licentiate, on the following day, came to re- 
 turn me thanks commensurate with the favor obtained. I presented 
 him to my master, who contented himself with giving him a slight
 
 360 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 reprimand, and put the homilies into his hand, to copy them out 
 fair. Garcias performed the task so satisfactorily, that he was rein- 
 stated in the cure of souls, and was afterwards preferred to the living 
 of Gabia, a large market town in the neighborhood of Granada. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 THE ARCHBISHOP IS STRUCK WITH APOPLEXY. HOW GIL BLAS GETS 
 INTO A DILEMMA, AND HOW HE GETS OUT. 
 
 WHILE I was thus rendering myself a blessing first to one 
 and then to the other, Don Ferdinand de Leyva was making 
 his arrangements for leaving Granada. I called on that nobleman 
 before his departure, to thank him once more for the advantageous 
 post he had procured me. My expressions of satisfaction were so 
 lively, that he said, " My dear Gil Bias, I am delighted to find you 
 in such good humor with my uncle the archbishop." " I am abso- 
 lutely in love with him," answered I. " His goodness to me has 
 been such as I can never sufficiently acknowledge. Less than my 
 present happiness could never have made me amends for being at 
 so great a distance from Don Caesar and his son." "I am per- 
 suaded," replied he, " that they are both of them equally chagrined 
 at having lost you. But possibly you are not separated forever; 
 fortune may some day bring you together again." I could not hear 
 such an idea started without being moved by it. My sighs would 
 find vent ; and I felt at that moment so strong an affection for Don 
 Alphonso, that I could willingly have turned my back on the arch- 
 bishop and all the fine prospects that were opening to me, and have 
 gone back to the castle of Leyva, had but a mortification taken place 
 in the back of the scarecrow which had frightened me away. Don 
 Ferdinand was not insensible to the emotions that agitated me, and 
 felt himself so much obliged by them, that he took his leave with 
 the assurance of the whole family always taking an anxious interest 
 in my fate. 
 
 Two months after this worthy gentleman had left us, in the luxu- 
 riant harvest of my highest favor, a lowering storm came suddenly 
 over the episcopal palace ; the archbishop had a stroke of apoplexy. 
 By dint of immediate applications and good nursing, in a few days 
 there was no bodily appearance of disease remaining. But his 
 reverend intellects did not so easily recover from their lethargy. I
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 361 
 
 could not help observing it to myself in the very first discourse that 
 he composed. Yet there was not such a wide gap between the 
 merits of the present and the former ones as to warrant the infer- 
 ence that the sun of oratory was many degrees advanced in its post- 
 meridian course. A second homily was worth waiting for, because 
 that would clearly determine the line of my conduct. Alas, and 
 well-a-day I when that second homily came, it was a knock-down 
 argument. Sometimes the good prelate moved forward, and some-' 
 times he moved backward ; sometimes he mounted up into the 
 garret, and sometimes dipped down into the cellar. It was a com- 
 position of more sound than meaning, something like a superannu- 
 ated schoolmaster's theme, when he attempts to give his boys more 
 sense than he possesses of his own, or like a capuchin's sermon, 
 which only scatters a few artificial flowers of paltry rhetoric over a 
 barren desert of doctrine. 
 
 I was not the only person whom the alteration struck. The audi- 
 ence at large, when he delivered it, as if they too had been pledged 
 to watch the advances of dotage, said to one another in a whisper 
 all around the church, "Here is a sermon with symptoms of apo- 
 plexy in every paragraph." "Come, my good Coryphaeus of the 
 public taste in homilies," said I then, to myself, " prepare to do 
 your office. You see that my lord archbishop is going very fast 
 you ought to warn him of it, not only as his bosom friend, on whose 
 sincerity he relies, but lest some blunt fellow should anticipate you, 
 and bolt out the truth in an offensive manner ; in that case you 
 know the consequence ; you would be struck out of his will, where, 
 no doubt, you have a more convertible bequest than the licentiate 
 Sedillo's library." 
 
 But as reason, like Janus, looks at things with two faces, I began 
 to consider the other side of the question ; the hint seemed difficult 
 to wrap up so as to make it palatable. Authors in general are stark 
 mad on the subject of their own works, and such an author might be 
 more testy than the common herd of the irritable race ; but that 
 suspicion seemed illiberal on my part, for it was impossible that my 
 freedom should be taken amiss when it had been forced upon me by 
 so positive an injunction. Add to this, that I reckoned upon hand- 
 ling the subject skillfully, and cramming discretion down his throat 
 like a high-seasoned epicurean dish. After all my pro and con, 
 finding that I risked more by keeping silence than by breaking it, I 
 determined to venture on the delicate duty of speaking my mind. 
 
 Now there was but one difficulty a difficulty indeed! how to open 
 the business. Luckily the orator himself extricated me from that 
 embarrassment, by asking what they said of him in the world at 
 large, and whether people were tolerably well pleased with his last
 
 362 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 discourse. I answered that there could be but one opinion about 
 his homilies ; but that it should seem as if the last had not quite 
 struck home to the hearts of the audience, like those which had 
 gone before. " Do you really mean what you say, my friend?" re- 
 plied he, with a sort of wriggling surprise. "Then my congregation 
 are more in the temper of Aristarchus than of Longinus !" " No, 
 may it please your grace," rejoined I, "quite the contrary. Per- 
 formances of that order are above the reach of vulgar criticism : 
 there is not a soul but expects to be saved by their influence. 
 Nevertheless, since you have made it my duty to be sincere and un- 
 reserved, I shall take the liberty of just stating that your last dis- 
 course is not written with quite the overpowering eloquence and 
 conclusive argument of your former ones. Does not your grace feel 
 just as I do on the subject?" 
 
 This ignorant and stupid frankness of mine completely blanched 
 my master's cheek ; but he forced a fretful smile, and said, " Then, 
 good Master Gil Bias, that piece does not exactly hit your fancy ?" 
 "I did not mean to say that, your grace," interrupted I, looking very 
 foolish. " It is very far superior to what any one else could produce, 
 though a little below par with respect to your own works in gen- 
 eral." " I know what you mean," replied he. " You think I am 
 going down hill, do you not? Out with it at once. It is your 
 opinion that it is time for me to think of retiring?" "I should 
 never have had the presumption," said I, " to deliver myself with so 
 little reserve, if it had not been your grace's express command. I 
 act in entire obedience to your grace's orders ; and I most obsequi- 
 ously implore your grace not to take offence at my boldness." " I 
 were unfit to live in a Christian land," interrupted -he, with stam- 
 mering impatience, " I were unfit to live in a Christian land if I 
 liked you the less for such a Christian virtue as sincerity. A man 
 who does not love sincerity sets his face against the distinguishing 
 mark between a friend and a flatterer. I should have given you infi- 
 nite credit for speaking what you thought, if you had thought any- 
 thing that deserved to be spoken. I have been finely taken in by 
 your outside show of cleverness, without any solid- foundation of 
 sober judgment." 
 
 Though completely unhorsed, and at the enemy's mercy, I wanted 
 to make terms of decent capitulation, and to go unmolested intc 
 winter quarters ; but let those who think to appease an exasperated 
 author, and especially an author whose ear has been long attuned 
 to the music of his own praises, take warning by my fate. " Let us 
 talk no more on the subject, my very young friend," said he. " You 
 are as yet scarcely in the rudiments of good taste, and utterly in- 
 competent to distinguish between gold and tinsel. You are yet to
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 363 
 
 learn that I never in all iny life composed a finer homily than that 
 unfortunate one which had not the honor of your approbation. The 
 immortal part of me, by the blessing of Heaven on me and my con- 
 gregation, is less weighed down by human infirmity than when the 
 flesh was stronger. We all grow wiser as we grow older, and I shall 
 in future select the people about me with more caution, nor submit 
 the castigation of my works but to a much abler critic than yourself. 
 Get about your business !" pursued he, giving me an angry shove by 
 the shoulders out of his closet ; " go and tell my treasurer to pay 
 you a hundred ducats, and take my priestly blessing in addition to 
 that sum. God speed you, good Master Gil Bias! I heartily pray 
 that you may do well in the world ! There is nothing to stand in 
 you* way but the want of a little better taste." 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE COTTESE WHICH GIL BLAS TOOK AFTER LEAVING THE ARCHBISHOP. 
 HIS ACCIDENTAL MEETING WITH THE LICENTIATE. 
 
 T MADE the best of my way out of the closet, cursing the caprice, 
 1 or more properly the dotage, of the archbishop, and more in 
 dudgeon at his absurdity, than cast down at the loss of his good 
 graces. For some time it was a moot point whether I should go and 
 lay claim to my hundred ducats ; but after having weighed the 
 matter dispassionately, I was not such a fool as to quarrel with my 
 bread and butter. There was no reason why that money, fairly 
 earned, should deprive me of my natural right to make a joke of 
 this ridiculous prelate ; in which good deed I promised myself not 
 to be wanting, as often as himself or his homilies were brought upon 
 the carpet in my hearing. 
 
 I went, therefore, and asked the treasurer for a hundred ducats, 
 without telling a word about the literary warfare between his mas- 
 ter and me. Afterwards I called on Melchior de la Eonda, to take 
 a long leave of him. He was too much my friend not to sympa- 
 thize with my misfortune. While I was telling my story, vexation 
 was strongly imprinted on his countenance. In spite of all his 
 respect for the archbishop, he could not help blaming him ; but 
 when, in the fever of my resentment, I threatened to be a match for 
 the prelate, and to entertain the whole city at his expense, the pru- 
 dent Melchior gave me a salutary caution : " Take my advice, my
 
 864 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 dear Gil Bias, and rather pocket the affront. Men of a lower sphere 
 in life should always be cap in hand to people of quality, whatever 
 may be therr grounds of complaint. It must be admitted that there 
 are same very coarse specimens of greatness, which in themselves 
 are scarcely deserving of the least respect or attention ; but even 
 such animals have their weapons of annoyance, and it is best to 
 keep out of their way." 
 
 I thanked the old valet-de-chambre for the. good counsel he had 
 given me, and promised to be guided by it. Pleased with my defer- 
 ence to his opinion, he said to me, " If you go to Madrid, be sure 
 you call upon my nephew, Joseph Navarro. He is factotum in the 
 family of Signor Don Balthazar de Zunigua, and I can venture to 
 recommend him as a lad in every respect worthy of your friend- 
 ship. He is just as nature made him, with all the vivacity of youth, 
 courteous in his manners, and forward to oblige ; I could wish you 
 to get acquainted with him." I answered that I would not fail to 
 go and see this Joseph Navarro as soon as I should get to Madrid, 
 whither I meant to return in due time. Then did I turn my back 
 on the episcopal palace, never to grace it with my presence again. 
 If I had kept my horse, I should perhaps have set out for Toledo 
 immediately ; but I had sold it during the period of my administra- 
 tion, supposing that I was in office for life, and should not hence- 
 forward be migratory. My final resolution was to hire a ready-fur- 
 nished lodging, as I had made up my mind to stay another month 
 in Granada, and then to pay the Count de Polan a visit. 
 
 As dinner-hour was drawing nigh, I asked my landlady if there 
 was any eating-house in the neighborhood. She answered that 
 there was a very good one within a few yards of her house, 
 where the accommodations were excellent, and the company select 
 and numerous. I made her show me where it was, and went thither 
 sharp set. I was shown into a large room, resembling the hall of a 
 monastery in everything but good cheer. There were ten or a dozen 
 men sitting at a long table, with a cloth spread over it that fretted 
 in its own grease; but they, with unoffended nostrils, were engaged 
 in general conversation, though they dined individually, each hav- 
 ing a miserable scrap for his portion. The people of the house 
 brought me my allowance, which at another time would have turned 
 my stomach, and have made me sigh after the luxuries of the table 
 I had just lost. But at this moment I was so indignant against the 
 archbishop, that the homely fare of a paltry eating-house seemed 
 more palatable than the dainties of his sumptuous board. It was a 
 burning shame to see such a waste of provisions served up in soups 
 and sauces to pamper the appetite. Arguing like a deep examiner 
 in the economy of tiie human frame, and reasoning medically as well
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 365 
 
 as philosophically on the disproportion between the simple wants 
 of nature and the complexity of luxurious indulgence, " Cursed be 
 they," said I, " who invented those pernicious dinners and suppers, 
 where one must sit on the tenterhooks of self-denial, for fear of 
 overloading the storehouse and shop of the whole body ! Man wants 
 but little here below, and provided he can keep but body and soul 
 together, the less he eats, the better." Thus did I, in my surly 
 vein, give utterance to wise saws, which, however just in theory, had 
 hitherto been little recommended by my practice. 
 
 While I was despatching my commons, without any danger of a 
 surfeit from repletion, the licentiate Lewis Garcias, who had got the 
 living of Gabia in the manner before mentioned, came into the 
 room. The moment he recognized me, he ran into my arms with 
 all the cordiality of friendship, or rather with the extravagant joy 
 of a lover after a long exile from his mistress. He folded me 
 repeatedly within his sincere embrace, and I was compelled to stand 
 the brunt of a long-winded compliment on the unparalleled disin- 
 terestedness of my conduct towards him. Gratitude is a fine virtue, 
 yet it is wearisome when carried beyond the bounds. He took his 
 seat next me, saying, "Well, a parson must not swear; though, by 
 the mass, my dear patron, since my good fortune has thrown me in 
 your way, we will not part without a jovial glass. But as there is 
 no good wine in this shabby inn, I will take you, if you please, after 
 our make-shift dinner, to a place where I will treat you with a 
 couple of bottles, rich, genuine, and old, in comparison of which the 
 Falernian of Horace was all a farce. The church will give us abso- 
 lution, in the cause of gratitude! If I could but get you for a few 
 days down at my parsonage of Gabia ! Maecenas was never more 
 welcome to the poet's Sabine farm than the author of all my ease 
 and comfort to the choicest produce of a glebe which is mine only 
 by your benevolence." 
 
 While he was holding this high-flown language, his little slice of 
 dinner was set before him. He fell to without the fear of indiges- 
 tion before his eyes, still heightening the luxury of the repast, at 
 intervals, by fine speeches addressed to me in the most fulsome 
 style of flattery. I took the opportunity, when his mouth was filled 
 with something more substantial, to edge in a word or two amidst 
 the torrent ; and as he had not forgotten to ask after his friend the 
 steward, I made no bones about acknowledging that I was no longer 
 a hanger-on of the church. , I even went so far as to particularize 
 the most trivial circumstances attending my resignation, to all of 
 which he listened with an attentive ear. After all his fine profes- 
 sions, who would not have expected to see him moved even to tears 
 with the throes of resentful gratitude, to hear him thunder bulls and
 
 366 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 interdicts against the superannuated archbishop? The devil a bit! 
 he did neither the one thing nor the other. But his countenance 
 fell, and his whole air was that of an absent man ; the rest of his 
 dinner was bolted down without the garnish of intermediate talk 
 about Maecenas ; as soon as he had done, he hurried from table 
 without minding grace or gratitude, wished me good day with a 
 cold and distant air, and got off as fast as possible. The unfeeling 
 scoundrel, perceiving that I was no longer in a situation for him to 
 pump anything out of me, would not even take the trouble to draw 
 a decent veil over his dirty principles. But such a blackguard could 
 excite no other sensation than contempt and laughter. Looking at 
 him with derision, the fittest chastisement for fellows like these, I 
 called after him, loud enough to be heard by the whole room, 
 " Stop there, you nun's priest I Go and put those two bottles in ice 
 against Maecenas comes to the Sabine farm ! Be sure they are rich, 
 genuine, and old, or they will be a farce to Falernian." 
 
 CHAPTEE VI. 
 
 GIL BLAS GOES TO THE PLAY AT GRANADA. HIS SURPRISE AT SEEING 
 ONE OF THE ACTRESSES, AND WHAT HAPPENED THEREUPON. 
 
 sooner had Garcias rid the room of his presence, than two 
 gentlemen came in, extremely well dressed, and took their 
 seats close by me. They began talking about the players of the 
 Granada company, and about a new piece which just then had a 
 great run. According to their account, it was quite the town talk. 
 Nothing would do for me but to go and see it that very day. I had 
 never been at the play since my residence at Granada. As I had 
 lived nearly the whole time in the archbishop's palace, where all 
 such profane shows were condemned as uncanonical, I had been cut 
 off from every recreation of that sort. All my knowledge of men 
 and manners was drawn from homilies ! 
 
 I repaired, therefore, to the theatre at the appointed hour, and 
 found a very full house. All around me, discussions were going on 
 about the piece before the curtain drew up ; and there was not a 
 soul in the numerous assembly but had some remark to make upon 
 it. One liked it, another could not bear it. "Do not you think the 
 dialogue is particularly happy?" said a candid critic on my right. 
 " Was there ever such miserable stuff!" cried a snarling critic on
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 367 
 
 my left. In good truth, if bad authors abound, it must be admitted 
 that the public are at variance about what is good and what is bad : 
 but the bad judges have a right to be pleased for their money ; and 
 as they far outnumber the good ones, their favorite writers can never 
 want employment. When one only considers through what an 
 ordeal dramatic poets have to pass, it is a matter of wonder that any 
 should be found hardy enough at once to contend against the ignor- 
 ance of the multitude and the random shot of those self-created 
 guides in matters of taste, who always pretend to lead the blind- 
 ness of the public judgment, and too frequently push it into the 
 mire of absurdity. 
 
 At length the buffoon of the piece came forward by way of pro- 
 logue. As soon as his grotesque countenance was visible, there was 
 a general clapping of hands ; a sure indication of his being one of 
 those spoiled actors who are allowed to take any liberties with the 
 pit, and to be applauded through thick and thin. In fact, this 
 player neither opened his lips, nor moved a muscle, without excit- 
 ing the most extravagant raptures. He would have performed 
 better had he been less conscious what a favorite he was. But he 
 presumed on that circumstance most abominably. I observed that 
 he sometimes forgot what was set down for him, and took the license 
 of adding to his part out of his own free fancy a common cause of 
 complaint against low comedians, which, though it make the un- 
 skillful laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve. Would the 
 audience but receive such mirth with hisses, instead of crying 
 bravo, they might restrain the absurd practice, and purge the stage 
 .from barbarism. 
 
 Some of the other performers were greeted with the usual tokens 
 on their entrance, and particularly an actress who played the 
 chambermaid. There was something about her which more than 
 usually attracted my attention ; and language must sink under the 
 labor of expressing my astonishment at tracing the features of 
 Laura, that fair, that chaste, that inexpressible she, whom I sup- 
 posed to be still at Madrid, warbling in one key, with hands, sides, 
 voice, and mind incorporate with Arsenia. But there could be no 
 doubt of her identity. The kick in her gallop, the leer in her eye, 
 and the tripping pertness of her tongue, all conspired in evidence 
 that there could be no mistake. Yet, as if I had refused belief to 
 the affidavit of my own eyes and ears, I asked her name of a gentle- 
 man who was sitting beside me. "What the'deuce! Why, where 
 do you come from ?" said he. "You must unquestionably be a new 
 importation, not to have seen or heard of the divine Estella." 
 
 The likeness was too perfect for me to be mistaken. It was easy 
 to comprehend why Laura, changing her sphere of action, changed
 
 368 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 her name also , wherefore, from curiosity to know how matters stood 
 with her, since the public always pry into the most private concerns 
 of theatrical persons, I inquired of the same man whether this 
 Estella had any particular affair of gallantry on her hands. He in- 
 formed me that for the last two months there had been a great 
 Portuguese nobleman at Granada, his name was the Marquis de 
 Marialva, who had laid out a great deal of money upon her. He 
 might have told me more, if I had not been afraid of becoming 
 troublesome with my questions. I was better employed in musing on 
 the information this good gentleman had given me than in attending 
 to the play ; and if any one had asked me what it was all about, when 
 the piece was over, I should have been puzzled for an answer. I 
 could do nothing but decline Laura and Estella through all cases 
 and numbers, till at length I boldly made up my mind to call at 
 her house the next day. Not but there was some risk as to the 
 reception she might give me : it might be suspected, without excess 
 of modesty, that my appearance would give her no great pleasure 
 in the high tide of her affairs ; nor was it at all improbable that so 
 good an actress, to revenge herself on a man with whom certainly 
 she had an account to settle, might look strange, and swear she had 
 never seen his face before. Yet did none of these apprehensions 
 deter me from my venture. After a light supper, for all the meals 
 at my eating-house were regulated on principles of economy and. 
 temperance, I withdrew to my chamber with an anxious longing 
 for the next day. 
 
 My sleep was short and interrupted, so that I got up by daybreak. 
 But as it was to be recollected that a mistress in high keep was not . 
 likely to be visible early in the morning, I passed three or four 
 hours in dressing, shaving, powdering, and perfuming. It was my 
 business to present myself before her in a trim not to put her to the 
 blush at acknowledging my acquaintance. I sallied forth about 
 ten o'clock, and knocked at her door, after having inquired her 
 address at the theatre. She was living on the first floor of a large 
 and elegant house. I told a chambermaid, who opened the door to 
 me, that a young man wanted to speak with her lady. The cham- 
 bermaid went in to give my message, when all at once I heard her 
 mistress call out, not in the best-tempered tone in the world, "Who 
 is the young man ? What does he want ? Show him up stairs." 
 
 This was a hint to me that my time was ill chosen ; that probably 
 her Portuguese lover was at her toilet, and that she spoke so loud 
 with the laudable design of convincing him that she was not a sort 
 of girl to allow of any impertinent intruders. This conjecture of 
 mine turned out to be the fact ; the Marquis de Marialva lounged 
 away almost every morning with her ; I had made up my mind to be
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 369 
 
 kicked down stairs by way of welcome ; but that admirable actress, 
 never forgetting her cue, ran forward with open arms at the sight 
 of me, exclaiming, " Ah ! my dear brother, is it you that I behold?" 
 On the strength of so near a kindred, she was no niggard of her 
 embraces, but recollected herself so far as to say, turning round to 
 the Portuguese, " My lord, you must excuse me if nature will put in 
 her claim, and trench upon good breeding. Afte*r three years of 
 absence, I cannot see a brother once again, whom I love so tenderly, 
 without expressing my feelings in all their warmth. Come, _my 
 dear Gil Bias," continued she, addressing me afresh, "tell me 
 some news of the family: in what circumstances did you leave it?" 
 
 This whimsical scene disconcerted me at first, but I was not long 
 in seeing through Laura's intention, and playing up to her with a 
 spirit scarcely less than her own, answered, according to the plot, 
 " Heaven be praised, sister, all our good folks are in perfect health, 
 and well in the world." " I make no doubt," resumed she, " but 
 you must be very much surprised to find me an actress in Granada; 
 but hear me first, and blame me afterwards. It is three years, as 
 you may recollect, since my father thought to have established me 
 advantageously in marriage with Don Antonio Ccello, an officer in 
 the service, who took me from the Asturias to Madrid, his native 
 place. Six months after our arrival, he got into an affair of honor 
 in consequence of his violent temper. Some attentions incautiously 
 paid to me were the cause of the affray, and his antagonist was 
 killed. This gentleman was of a family high in rank and interest. 
 My husband, who, though well born, had very few connections, 
 made his escape into Catalonia with everything he could get 
 together in jewels and ready money. He embarked at Barcelona, 
 went over into Italy, enlisted in the Venetian service, and finally 
 lost his life in the Morea, fighting against the Turks. In the mean- 
 time, a landed estate which constituted our whole revenue was 
 confiscated, and I was left a widow with very little for my support. 
 What was to be done in so pressing an emergency? There was 
 nothing left to pay my travelling expenses back into the Asturias. 
 And then what should I have done there? I should have got 
 nothing from my family but a long string of condolences, which 
 would have furnished me neither with food nor with raiment. On 
 the other hand, I had been too well brought up to fall into those 
 courses into which too many poor young women are betrayed for the 
 sake of a scandalous subsistence. There was but one thing remain- 
 ing for me to determine on. I turned actress to preserve my morals." 
 
 So tingling a sense of ridicule came over me when Laura wound 
 up her romance with this pious motive for turning actress, that I 
 could scarcely refrain from relieving myself by a fit of laughter. 
 24
 
 370 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 But gravity was of too much consequence to be dispensed with, and 
 I said to her with an air the counterpart of her own, " My dear 
 sister, I entirely approve of your conduct, and am heartily glad to 
 meet with you at Granada, and moreover settled on so respectable 
 a footing." 
 
 The Marquis de Marialva, who had not lost a word of all these 
 fine speeches, swallowed down blindfold whatever Don Antonio's 
 widow thought fit to drench his credulity with. He took part in 
 the conversation too, and asked me whether I had any fixed em- 
 ployment in Granada or elsewhere. I paused for a moment to 
 consider whether and after what mariner I should lie ; but as there 
 seemed no need in this case to draw on my invention, I told the 
 truth by way of variety. In a plain, matter-of-fact manner did I 
 rehearse my introduction to the archbishop's palace, and ray dis- 
 charge therefrom, to the infinite amusement of his Portuguese 
 lordship. To be sure, in telling the truth, I did not keep my word, 
 for I could not help launching out a little at the archbishop's ex- 
 pense, in spite of my solemn promise given to Melchior. But the 
 best of the joke was, that Laura, taking my story for a fiction in- 
 vented after her example, burst out into peals of laughter ; whereas 
 the whimsicality of the circumstances would have raised a soberer 
 mirth, had she known it to have been alloyed with the base ingre- 
 dient of veracity. 
 
 After having come to the end of my tale, which closed with just 
 mentioning the lodging I had taken, dinner was announced. I 
 instantly motioned to withdraw, as if intending to take that frugal 
 meal at home; but Laura would not hear of it. " Do you mean to 
 affront me, brother ?" said she. " You must dine here. Indeed I 
 cannot think of your staying any longer at a paltry inn. You must 
 positively board and lodge in my house. Send your trunks hither 
 this very evening ; there is a spare bed for you." 
 
 His Portuguese lordship, possibly not altogether relishing this 
 excess of hospitality even to a brother, then interfered between us, 
 and said to Laura, " No, Estella, you have not sufficient accommo- 
 dation to give him a bed without inconvenience. Your brother 
 seems to be a clever young fellow, and the circumstance of his being 
 so nearly related to you gives him a strong claim on my kindness. 
 He shall be put at once upon my establishment. I am in want of 
 a secretary, and shall delight in giving him the appointment ; he 
 shall be my right-hand man. Let him be sure to come and sleep 
 at my house this very night j I will order a room to be got ready for 
 him. I will fix his regular salary at four hundred ducats ; and if, 
 on better acquaintance, I have reason, as I trust I shall, to be sat- 
 isfied with him, I will place him in a situation to laugh at the con-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 371 
 
 sequences of having been a little too plain-spoken with his patron 
 the archbishop." 
 
 My acknowledgments to the marquis for his high honor were fol- 
 lowed by those of Laura, who far exceeded me in powers of pane- 
 gyric. " Let us drop the subject," interrupted he ; " it is a settled 
 point." Settled as it was, he confirmed the contract on the lips of 
 his green-room Dulcinea, and went his way. She immediately 
 pulled me by the arm into a closet, where, secure from interruption} 
 she cried out, " Cut my laces ! I shall burst if I do not give way at 
 once to the fit of laughter that is coming over me." And so she 
 probably would ; for she threw herself into an arm-chair, and hold- 
 ing both her sides, shouted out her convulsive peal of mirth like 
 a mad woman. It was impossible for me to refrain from following 
 her example. When we had exhausted our risible propensities, 
 " Own, Gil Bias," said she, " that we have just been acting a very 
 humorous farce. But I did not look for the concluding scene. My 
 only thought was to secure you board and lodging under my own 
 roof; and there was no other possibility of making the proposition 
 in a modest way but by passing you off for my brother. But I am 
 heartily glad that the chapter of accidents has opened with so good 
 a berth for you. The Marquis de Marialva is a nobleman of liberal 
 and honorable sentiments, who will be better than his word in what 
 he does for you. But confess now ! There is scarcely a woman in 
 existence except myself would have given so coming-on a reception 
 to a fellow who shirks his friends without saying with your leave 
 or by your leave. I, however, am one of those simple-hearted girls 
 who are glad to receive back again the base man they have once 
 loved, though he should have offended and repented seven, or even 
 seven thousand times." 
 
 The best way for me was to acknowledge the extreme ill-breed- 
 ing of which I had been guilty, to blush and beg pardon once for 
 all. After this explanation, she led the way to a very handsome 
 dining-room. We placed ourselves at table, where, having a cham- 
 bermaid and footboy for eye-witnesses, we kept within the bounds of 
 brother and sister When we had done dinner, we went back again 
 into the same closet where we had been conversing before. Having 
 our time to ourselves, my paragon of a Laura, giving herself up to 
 her natural love of merriment, and to her no less natural curiosity, 
 required from me a faithful and true narrative of all my pros and 
 cons, my ins and outs, since that unmannerly separation of ours. I 
 gave her a full and particular account, nothing extenuating on my 
 own behalf, nor setting down aught in malice on the other side. 
 When I had quenched her thirst after a story, she slaked mine by 
 communicating the following particulars of her eventful life.
 
 372 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 LAURA'S STORY. 
 
 11 T SHALL just run over to you, as briefly as possible, the cir- 
 _L cumstances which led me to embrace the theatrical profes- 
 sion. After you took French leave, so much to your credit, great 
 events happened. My mistress, Arsenia, more surfeited with a glut 
 of pleasures than scandalized at their immorality, renounced the 
 stage, and took me with her to a fine estate which she had just pur- 
 chased in the neighborhood of Zenora with the wages of her sinful 
 life. We soon got acquainted in the town. Our visits there were 
 very frequent, and sometimes for a day or two together. With the 
 exception of these little excursions, we were as closely domesticated 
 as probationers in a nunnery, and almost as piously employed. 
 
 " On one of our high days and holidays, Don Felix Maldonado, 
 the corregidor's only son, saw me by chance, and took a liking to 
 me. He soon found an opportunity of speaking with me in private, 
 and as it is in vain to affect modesty before one who knows me so 
 well, there was some little contrivance of my own to bring the inter- 
 view about. The young gentleman was not twenty years of age ; 
 the very picture of Venus's sweetheart, or Venus's sweetheart the 
 very picture of him, with a form for a sculptor to work from ; with 
 an address so elegant, and with sentiments so generous, as to throw 
 even his personal graces into the background. There was such a 
 winning way with him, so pressing an earnestness to prevail, when 
 he took a large diamond from his own finger and slid it upon 
 mine, that it would have been quite brutal not to have let it stay 
 there. It was really something like sentiment that I began to enter- 
 tain towards a swain of so interesting a character. But what an 
 absurd thing it is for wenches of" a certain sort to hook themselves 
 upon young men of family when their surly fathers hold official 
 situations ! The corregidor, who had scarcely his equal in the whole 
 tribe of corregidors, got wind of our correspondence, and determined 
 to close it in a summary manner. He sent a host of alguazils to 
 take me into custody, who dragged me away, in spite of my cries 
 and tears, to the house of correction for female penitents. 
 
 "There, without bill of indictment or form of trial, the lady 
 abbess ordered me to be stripped of my ring and my clothes, and to 
 be dressed in the habit of the institution, a long gown of gray 
 serge, tied about the middle with a strap of black leather, whence 
 depended a rosary with large beads swinging down to my heels. 
 After this pleasant reception, they took me into a hall, where there
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 373 
 
 was an old monk, the deuce knows of what order, who set to work 
 preaching up repentance and resignation, pretty much in the same 
 strain as Dame Leonarda, when she exhorted you to patience in 
 the subterranean cavern. He told me that I was excessively obliged 
 indeed to those good people who had so kindly shut me up, and 
 could never thank them sufficiently for their good deed in rescuing 
 me from the harpy talons of the world, the flesh, and the devil. But 
 I must frankly own that all my other sins were pressed down and 
 heaped high with ingratitude. Far from overflowing with the milk 
 of human kindness towards those who had conferred such a favor 
 upon me, I abused them in terms that would have put any diction- 
 ary to the blush. 
 
 "Eight days thus passed in this wilderness of desolation, but on 
 the ninth for I had notched the hours and even the minutes on a 
 stick my fate seemed beginning to take another turn. Crossing a 
 little court, I met the house steward, a personage whose will was abso- 
 lute ; yes, the lady abbess herself was obedient to his will. He ren- 
 dered an account of his stewardship to none but the corregidor, on 
 whom alone he was dependent, and whose confidence in him was 
 unbounded. His name was Pedro Zendono, and the town of Salse- 
 don, in Biscay, laid claim to the honor of his birth. Figure to 
 yourself a tall man, with the complexion of a mummy and the bare 
 anatomy of a dealer in mortification ; he might have sat for the 
 penitent thief in a picture of the crucifixion. He scarcely ever cast 
 a carnal glance towards us Magdalens. You never saw such a face 
 of rank hypocrisy in all your life, though you have spent some part 
 of it under the same roof with the archbishop, and are not unac- 
 quainted with the clergy of his diocese. 
 
 " But to return from this digression ; . . . I met this Signor Zen- 
 dono, who said to me slyly as he passed, ' Take comfort, my girl ; I 
 am sensibly affected with your wretched case.' He said no more, 
 and went on his way, leaving me to make my own comments on so 
 concise and general a text. As he looked like a good man, and 
 there was no positive evidence to set against his looks, I was sim- 
 pleton enough to fancy that he had taken the trouble of inquiring 
 why I was shut up, and meant, not finding me so atrocious a culprit 
 as to deserve such shameful insults, to take my part with the cor- 
 regidor. But I was not up to the tricks of the Biscayan ; he had a 
 much longer head. He was turning over in his mind the scheme of 
 an elopement, and made the proposal to me in profound privacy 
 some days afterwards. ' My dear Laura,' said he, ' your sufferings 
 have taken such deep possession of my mind that I have determined 
 to end them. I am perfectly aware that my own ruin is involved 
 in the measure, but have no choice when the tender passion drives.
 
 374 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 To-morrow morning do I intend to take you out of prison, and con- 
 duct you in person to Madrid. No sacrifice is too great for the 
 pleasure of being your deliverer.' 
 
 " I was very near fainting with surprise and joy at this promise 
 of Zeiidcno, who, concluding from my acknowledgments that my 
 very life depended on my rescue, had the effrontery to carry me off 
 next day in the face of the whole town, by the following device: 
 He told the lady abbess that he had orders to take me before the 
 corregidor, who was at his country box a few miles off; and, with- 
 out betraying himself by a single change of countenance, packed 
 me off with him for my companion, in a post-chaise drawn by two 
 good mules, which he had bought for the occasion. Our only 
 attendant was the driver, a servant of his own, and entirely devoted 
 to the steward by stronger ties than those of gratitude. We began 
 bowling away, not in the direction of Madrid, as I had taken for 
 granted, but towards the frontiers of Portugal, whither we got in 
 less time than it took the corregidor of Zamora to receive the depo- 
 sition of our flight, and uncouple his pack or set them barking at 
 our heels. 
 
 "Before we entered Braganza, the Biscayan made me put on 
 man's clothes, with which he had taken the precaution of providing 
 himself Reckoning on me as being fairly launched in the same 
 boat with him, he said to me in the inn where we put up, ' Lovely 
 Laura, do not take it unkindly of me to have brought you into 
 Portugal The corregidor of Zamora will make our own country 
 too hot to hold us, for in his eyes we are two criminals, under the 
 weight of whose enormities it is not for Spain to groan. But we 
 may set his malice at defiance in this distant realm, though at the 
 present conjuncture under the dominion of the Spanish monarchy. 
 At least we shall stand a better chance for safety here than at home. 
 League your fortunes with those of a man who would follow you in 
 prosperity or in adversity through the world. Let us fix our resi- 
 dence at Coimbra. There I will get employed as a spy for the 
 Inquisition ; under the cover of that formidable tribunal a refresh- 
 ing shade for us, but Cimmerian darkness to its victims our days 
 will glide smoothly on in ease and pleasure, and we shall fatten on 
 the spoil of religious delinquency.' 
 
 "A proposal so much to the point gave me to understand that I 
 had to do with a knight who had other motives for officiating as the 
 guardian of distressed damsels besides the honor of chivalry. I saw 
 at once that he reckoned much on my gratitude, and still more on 
 my distress. Nevertheless, though these two pleas were almost 
 equally eloquent in his favor, I rejected his addresses with disdain. 
 The reason was that there were two advocates still more eloquent on
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 375 
 
 the side of a refusal a certainty that he was disagreeable, and a 
 strong suspicion that he was poor. But when he returned to the 
 charge, and offered to say the grace of matrimony before he fell to, 
 proving to me at the same time, by the undeniable evidence of cash 
 in hand, that his stewardship had enabled him to live in clover for 
 a long time to come, the truth must come out in spite of blushes ; 
 my heart was softened, and my ears unstopped. I was dazzled by 
 the gold and jewels which he laid out in burning row before me, and 
 became a living monument, in my own person, that miraculous 
 transformations are effected by the power of pelf as well as by the 
 wand of love. My Biscayan became, by little and little, quite 
 another sort of man in my eyes. His tall body and bare bones were 
 plumped up into a shapely and commanding figure ; his cadaverous 
 complexion was improved into a manly brown ; even that look, as 
 if butter would not melt in his mouth, was no longer hypocrisy, but 
 a staid and decent respect. Having made these discoveries, I ac- 
 cepted his hand without any material abhorrence, and he plighted 
 the usual vows in all due form. After this, like a good wife, I kept 
 the spirit of contradiction as much as possible under the hatches. 
 We resumed our journey, and Coimbra soon received a new family 
 within its walls. 
 
 " My husband stocked my wardrobe as became my sex and station, 
 making me a present of several diamonds, among which I fixed my 
 eye on that of Don Felix Maldonado. There were no further docu- 
 ments wanting to give a shrewd guess whence came all the precious 
 stones I had seen, and to be morally certain that I had not married 
 a troublesomely nice observer of the eighth article in the decalogue. 
 Yet considering myself as the mainspring of all his little deviations 
 from the strict law of propriety, it was not for me to judge harshly 
 on that point. A woman can always find a palliation for the mis- 
 deeds which are set in motion by the power of her own beauty. But 
 for that, he certainly would have ranked no higher than one of the 
 wicked in my estimation. 
 
 " I had no great reason to complain of him for two or three 
 months. His attentions were always polite and kind, amounting 
 apparently to a sincere and tender affection. But no such thing ! 
 These proofs of wedded love, this worshipping with the body, and 
 endowing with the worldly goods, were all but a copy of his coun- 
 tenance ; for the cheating fellow meant, as men serve a cucumber, 
 to throw me away on the first opportunity. One morning, at my 
 return from mass, I found nothing at home but the bare walls ; the 
 movables, not excepting my own apparel, every stick and every 
 thread had been carried off. Zendono and his faithful servant had 
 taken their measures so adroitly, that in less than an hour the house
 
 376 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 had been completely gutted ; so that with nothing but the gown 
 upon my back, and Don Felix's ring, as good luck would have it, 
 on my finger, here stood I, like another Ariadne, abandoned by the 
 ungrateful rifler of my effects as well as of my charms. But you 
 may take my word for it, I did not beguile the sense of my misfor- 
 tune in tragedy, elegy, scene individable, or poem unlimited. I rather 
 fell upon my knees, and blessed my guardian angel for having de- 
 livered me from a rascal who must sooner or, later fall into the hands 
 of justice. The time we had passed together I considered in the 
 light of a dead loss, and my spirits were all on the alert to make up 
 for it. If I had been inclined to stay in Portugal, as a hanger-on 
 to some woman of fashion, I should have found no difficulty in 
 suiting myself; but whether it was patriotism, or some astrological 
 conjunction, preparing a better fortune for me under the influence 
 of the planets, my whole heart was bent on getting back into Spain. 
 I applied to a jeweller, who valued my diamond and gave me cash 
 for it, and then took my departure with an old Spanish lady who was 
 going to Seville in a post-chaise. 
 
 " This lady, whose name was Dorothea, had been to see a relation 
 settled at Coimbra, and was on her return to Seville, where she 
 lived. There was such a sympathy between us as made us fast 
 friends on the very first day of our acquaintance ; and the attach- 
 ment grew so close while we travelled together, that the lady in- 
 sisted, at our journey's end, on my making her house my home. I 
 had no reason to repent having formed such a connection. Never 
 was there a woman of a more charming character. One might still 
 conclude, from the turn of her countenance, and from the spirit not 
 yet quenched in her eyes, that in her youth the catgut of many a 
 guitar must have been fretted under her window. As a proof of 
 this, she had had many trials what a state of widowhood was; her 
 husbands had all been of noble birth, and her finances were flourish- 
 ing on the accumulation of her several jointures. 
 
 "Among other admirable qualities, she had that of not visiting 
 severely the frailties of her own sex. When I let her into the 
 secret of mine, she entered so warmly into my interests as to speak 
 of Zendono with more sincerity than good manners. ' What grace- 
 less fellows these men are !' said she, in a tone from which one might 
 infer that she had met with some light-fingered steward in the pass- 
 ing of her accounts. ' They would not be worth picking off a dung- 
 hill, if one could do without them ! There is a large fraternity of 
 sorry scoundrels in the world, who make it their sport to gain the 
 hearts of women, and then desert them. There is, however, one 
 consoling circumstance, my dear child. According to your account, 
 you are by no means bound fast to that faithless Biscayan. If your
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 377 
 
 marriage with him was sufficiently formal to save your credit with 
 the world, oil the other hand, it was contracted loosely enough to 
 admit of your trying your luck at a better match, whenever an op- 
 portunity may fall in your way.' 
 
 "I went out every day with Dorothea, either to church or to 
 visit among her friends ; both likely occasions of picking up an ad- 
 venture ; so that I attracted the notice of several gentlemen. There 
 were some of them who had a mind to feel how the land lay. They 
 made their proposals to my venerable protectress ; but these had not 
 wherewithal to defray the expenses of an establishment, and those 
 were mere unfledged boys under age an insuperable objection, 
 which left me very little merit in turning a deaf ear to them. 
 One day a whim seized Dorothea and me to go and see a play at 
 Seville. The bills announced a favorite and standard piece: El 
 Embaxador de Si-mismo, written by Lope de Vega. 
 
 " Among the actresses who came upon the stage, I discovered one 
 of my old cronies. It was impossible to have forgotten Phenicia, 
 that bouncing, good-humored girl whom you have seen as Flori- 
 monde's waiting-maid, and have supped with more than once at 
 Arsenia's. I was aware that Phenicia had left Madrid about two 
 years ago, but had never heard of her turning actress. I longed so 
 earnestly to embrace her, that the piece appeared quite tedious. 
 Perhaps, too, there might be some fault in those who played it, as 
 being neither good enough nor bad enough to afford me entertain- 
 ment. For as to my own temper, which is that of seeking diversion 
 wherever I can find it, I must confess that an actor supremely 
 ridiculous answers my purpose just as well as the most finished 
 performer of the age. 
 
 "At last, the moment I had been waiting for being arrived, 
 namely, the dropping of the curtain on this favorite and standard 
 piece, we went for my widow would go with me behind the 
 scenes, where we caught a glimpse of Phenicia, who was playing off 
 the amiable and unaffected simpleton, and listening with all the 
 primness of studied simplicity to the sott chirping of a young stage- 
 finch, who had evidently suffered himself to be caught in the 
 birdlime of her professional or meretricious talents. No sooner did 
 her eye meet mine than she quitted him with a genteel apology, 
 ran up to me with open arms, and lavished upon me all the demon- 
 strations of strong attachment imaginable. Our expressions of joy 
 at this unexpected meeting were indeed reciprocal ; but neither time 
 nor place admitting of any very copious indulgence in the privilege 
 of asking questions, we adjourned till the following day, with a 
 promise of renewing our mutual inquiries thick and threefold, 
 under the shelter of her friendly roof.
 
 378 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 "The pleasure of talking is the inextinguishable passion of 
 woman, coeval with the act of breathing. I could not get a wink 
 of sleep all night for the burning desire of having a grapple with 
 Phenicia, and closing in upon her in the conflict of curiosity. 
 Witness, all the powers who preside over tattling, whether the love 
 of lying in bed another passion of woman prevented me from 
 getting up and flying to my appointment as early as good manners 
 would allow. She lived with the rest of the company in a large 
 ready-furnished lodging. A female attendant who met me at 
 entrance, on being requested to show me Phenicia's apartment, led 
 the way up stairs to a gallery, along which were ranged ten or 
 twelve small rooms, divided only by partitions of deal boards, and 
 inhabited by this merry band. My conductress knocked at a door, 
 which Phenicia opened ; for her tongue was cruelly on the fidget to 
 be let loose, as well as my own. We allowed ourselves no time for 
 the impertinent ceremonies which, usually usher in a visit, but 
 plunged at once into a most furious career of loquacity. It seemed 
 as if we should have a tight bout together. There were so many 
 interrogatories to be bandied backwards and forwards, that question 
 and answer rebounded like tennis-balls, only with tenfold velocity. 
 
 " After having related our adventures each to other, and inquired 
 into the actual condition of affairs, Phenicia asked me how I meant 
 to provide for myself. My reply was, that I purposed, while wait- 
 ing for something better, to get a situation with some young lady 
 of quality. 'For shame!' exclaimed my other self; 'you shall not 
 think of such a thing. Is it possible, my darling, that you should 
 not yet be disgusted with menial service? Are you not heartily 
 sick of knocking under to the good or ill pleasure of others, of being 
 cap-in-hand to all their caprices, and after all to be entertained 
 with that unchangeable tune called a scolding in a woW, to be a 
 downright slave ? Why do not you follow my example, and turn 
 your thoughts towards the stage ? Nothing can be better suited to 
 people of parts, when they happen not to be equally favored in the 
 articles of wealth and birth. It is a sphere of life which holds a 
 middle rank between the nobility and mere tradespeople a profes- 
 sion exempted from all troublesome restraint, and raised far above the 
 common prejudices of humble and decent society. The public are 
 our bankers, and we draw upon them at sight. We live in a con- 
 tinual round of ecstasy, and spend our money to the full as fast as 
 we earn it. 
 
 "The theatre' for she went on at a great rate 'is favorable 
 above all to women. When I lived with Florimonde, it is a 
 misery to think of it, I was reduced to take up with the super- 
 numeraries of the prince's company ; not a single man of fashion
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 379 
 
 paid the least attention to my figure. How came that about? 
 Because they never got a glimpse of it. The finest picture 
 in the world may escape the admiration of the connoisseurs, if it is 
 not placed in a proper light. But since I have been suitably 
 framed and varnished, which could only happen in consequence of 
 a theatrical finish, what a revolution ! The finest young fellows of 
 all the towns we pass through are shuffling at my heels. An 
 actress, therefore, has all her little comforts about her, without 
 deviating from the line of her duty. If she is discreet, by which 
 we mean that she should not admit more than one lover into her 
 good graces at a time, her exemplary conduct is cried up as 
 without a parallel. She is called a very Niobe for her coldness ; 
 and when she changes her favorite, she is reprimanded as slightly 
 by the world as a lawful widow who marries a" few weeks too soon 
 after the death of her first husband. If, however, the widow should 
 look for luck in odd numbers, and take to herself a third, the con- 
 tempt of all mankind is poured down on her devoted head ; she is 
 considered as a monster of indelicacy ; whereas we happier women 
 are so much the more in vogue, as we add to the list of our favor- 
 ites. After having been served up to a hundred different lovers, 
 some battered nobleman finds us a dainty dish for himself 
 
 " ' Do you mean that by way of news ?' interrupted I, as she uttered 
 the last sentiment. ' Do you imagine me to be ignorant of these 
 advantages? I have often conned them over in my mind, and they 
 are but too alluring to a girl of my character. The attractions of 
 the stage would be irresistible, were inclination all. But some little 
 talent is indispensable, and I have not a spark. I have sometimes 
 attempted to rehearse passages from plays before Arsenia. She was 
 never satisfied with my performance, and that disgusted me with the 
 profession.' 'You are easily put out of conceit with yourself,' re- 
 plied Phenicia. ' Do not you know that these great actresses are 
 very apt to be jealous ? With all their vanity, they are afraid lest 
 some newer face should put them out of countenance. In short, I 
 would not be guided by Arsenia on that subject ; she did not give 
 her real opinion. In my judgment, and without meaning to flatter 
 you, the theatre is your natural element. You have admirable 
 powers, free and graceful action, a fine-toned voice, volubility of 
 declamation, and such a turn of countenance ! Ah, you little 
 rogue ! you will bring all the young fellows behind the scenes, if 
 once you take to the boards !' 
 
 "She plied me with many flattering compliments besides, and 
 made me recite some lines, only by way of enabling me to form my 
 own judgment as to my theatrical genius. Now that she was my 
 censor, it seemed quite another thing. She praised me up to the
 
 380 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 skies, and held all the actresses in Madrid as mere makeweights in 
 the scale. After such a testimony, it would have been inexcusable 
 to hesitate about my own merit. Arsenia stood attainted, nay, con- 
 victed of jealousy and treachery. There could be no question about 
 my being everything that was delightful. Two players happened 
 to drop in by accident, and Phenicia prevailed on me to repeat the 
 lines I had already spouted; they fell into a sort of enthusiastic 
 trance, whence they were roused only to launch out fervently in 
 admiration of me. Literally, had they all three been flattering me 
 up for a wager, they could not have adopted a more extravagant 
 scale of panegyric. My modesty was not proof against such praise 
 from those who were themselves praised. I began to think myself 
 really worthy of something ; and now was my whole heart and soul 
 turned towards a theatrical life, 
 
 " ' Since this is the case,' said I to Phenicia, ' the affair is deter- 
 mined. I will follow your advice, and engage in your company, if 
 they will accept me.' My friend, transported with joy at this pro- 
 posal, clasped me in her arms ; and her two companions seemed no 
 less delighted than herself at finding me in that humor. It was 
 settled that I should attend the theatre on the following day, in the 
 morning, and exhibit before the collected body the same sample of 
 my talent as I had just displayed. If I had bought golden opinions 
 from Phenicia and her friends, the actors in general were still more 
 complimentary in, their judgment after I had recited but twenty 
 lines before them. They gave me an engagement with the utmost 
 willingness. Then there was nothing thought of but my first ap- 
 pearance. To make it as striking as possible, I laid out all the 
 money remaining from the sale of my ring; and though my funds 
 would not allow of being splendid in my dress, I discovered the art 
 of substituting taste for glitter, and converting my poverty into a 
 new grace. 
 
 "At length I came out. What clapping of hands ! what general 
 admiration ! It would .be speaking faintly, my friend, to tell you 
 downright that the spectators were all in an ecstasy. You must 
 have heard with your own ears what a noise I made at Seville, to 
 believe it. The whole talk of the town was about me, and the house 
 was crowded for three weeks successively ; so that this novelty re- 
 stored the theatre to its popularity, when it was evidently beginning 
 to decline. Thus did I come upon the stage, and step into public 
 favor at once. But to come upon the stage with such distinction is 
 generally a prelude to coming upon the town ; or at least to putting 
 one's self up at auction to the best bidder. Twenty sparks of all 
 ages, from seventeen to seventy, were on the list of candidates, and 
 would have worn me in my newest gloss. Had I followed my own
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 881 
 
 inclination, I should have chosen the youngest, and the most of a 
 lady's man ; but in our profession, interest and ambition must bear 
 the sway, till we have feathered our nest ; that is as invariable a 
 rule as any in the prompt-book. On this principle, Don Ambrosio 
 de Nisana, a man in whom age and ugliness had done their worst, 
 but rich, generous, and one of the most powerful noblemen in Anda- 
 lusia, had the refusal of the bargain. It is true that he paid hand- 
 somely for it. He took a fine house for me, furnished it in the 
 extreme of magnificence, allowed me a man cook of the first emi- 
 nence, two footmen, a lady's maid, and a thousand ducats a month 
 for my personal expenses. Add to all this a rich wardrobe, and an 
 elegant assortment of jewels. 
 
 " What a revolution in my affairs ! My poor brain was completely 
 turned. I could not believe myself to be the same person. No 
 wonder if girls soon forget the meanness and misery whence some 
 man of quality has rescued them in a fit of caprice. My confession 
 shall be without reserve : public applause, flattering speeches, buzzed 
 about on every side, and Don Ambrosio's passion kindled such a 
 flame of self-conceit as kept me in a continual ferment of extrava- 
 gance. I considered my talents as a patent of nobility. I put on 
 the woman of fashion, and becoming as chary as I had hitherto been 
 lavish of my amorous challengers, determined to look no lower than 
 dukes, counts, or marquises. 
 
 " My lord of Nisana brought some of his friends to sup with me 
 every evening. It was my care to invite the best companions 
 among our actresses, and we wore away a good part of the night in 
 laughing and drinking. I fell in very kindly with so delicious a 
 life ; but it lasted only six months. Men of rank are apt to be 
 whimsical : but for that fault, they would be too heavenly. Don 
 Ambrosio deserted me for a young coquette from Granada, who had 
 just brought a pretty person to the Seville market, and knew how to 
 set off her wares to the best advantage. But I did not fret after him 
 more than four-and-twenty hours. His place was supplied by a 
 young fellow of two-and-twenty, Don Lewis d'Alcacer, with whom 
 few Spaniards could vie in point of face and figure. 
 
 " You will ask me, doubtless, and it is natural to do so, why I 
 selected so green a sprig of nobility for my paramour, when my own 
 experience so strongly dissuaded from such a choice. But, besides 
 that Don Lewis had neither father nor mother, and was already in 
 possession of his fortune, you are to know that there are no disa- 
 greeable consequences attaching to any but girls in a servile condi- 
 tion of life, or those unfortunate loose fish who are game for every 
 sportsman. Ladies of our profession are privileged persons ; we let 
 off our charms like a rocket, and are not answerable for the damage
 
 382 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS, 
 
 where they fall, so much the worse for those families whose heirs 
 we set in a blaze. 
 
 " As for Alcacer and myself, we were so strongly attached to one 
 another, that I verily believe Love never yet did such execution as 
 when he took aim at us^ two. Our passion was of such a violent 
 nature that we seemed to be under the influence of some spell. 
 Those who knew how well we were together, thought us the happi- 
 est pair in the world ; but we, who knew best, found ourselves the 
 most miserable. Though Don Lewis had as fine an outside as ever 
 fell to the lot of man, he was at the same time so jealous that there 
 was no living for vexation at his unfounded surmises. It was ot 
 no use, knowing his weakness and humoring it, to lay an embargo 
 on my looks, if ever a male creature peeped into harbor ; his suspi- 
 cious temper, seldom at a loss for some crime to impute, rendered 
 my armed neutrality of no avail. Our most tender moments had 
 always a spice of wrangling ; there was no standing the brunt of it. 
 Patience could hold out no longer on either side, and we quarrelled 
 more peaceably than we had loved. Could you believe that the last 
 day of our being together was the happiest? Both being equally, 
 wearied out by the perpetual recurrence of unpleasant circum- 
 stances, we gave a loose to our transports when we embraced for the 
 last time. We were like two wretched captives, breathing the fresh 
 air of liberty after all the horrors of our prison-house. 
 
 "Since that adventure, I have worn a breastplate against the 
 little archer. No more amorous nonsense for me, at least to a 
 troublesome excess ! It is quite out of our line to sigh and 
 complain like Arcadian shepherdesses. Those should never give 
 way to a passion in private who hold it up to ridicule before the 
 public. 
 
 " While these events were passing in my domestic establishment, 
 Fame had not hung her trumpet breathless on the willows; she 
 spread it about universally that I was an inimitable actress. That 
 celestial tattler, though bankrupt times out of number, contrives to 
 revive her credit; the comedians of Granada therefore wrote to offer 
 me an engagement in their company ; and by way of evidence that 
 the proposal was not to be scorned, they sent me a statement of 
 their daily receipts and disbursements, with their terms, which 
 seemed to be advantageous. That being the case, I closed, though 
 grieved in my heart to part with Phenicia and Dorothea, whom I 
 loved as well as woman is capable of loving woman. I left the first 
 laudably employed in melting the plate of a little haggling gold- 
 smith, whose vanity so far got the better of his avarice, that he must 
 needs have a theatrical heroine for his mistress. I forgot to tell you 
 that on my translation to the stage, from mere whim I changed the
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 383 
 
 name of Laura to that of Estella, and it was under the latter name 
 that I took this engagement at Granada. 
 
 " My first appearance was no less successful here than at Seville, 
 and I soon felt myself wafted along by the sighs of my admirers. 
 But resolving not to favor any except on honorable terms, I kept a 
 guard of modesty in my intercourse with them, which threw dust in 
 their eyes. Nevertheless, not to be the dupe of virtues which pay 
 very indifferently, and were not exactly at home in their new man- 
 sion, I was balancing whether or not to take up with a young fellow 
 of mean extraction, who had a place under government, and 
 assumed the style of a gentleman in virtue of his office, with a good 
 table and handsome equipage, when I saw the Marquis de Marialva 
 for the first time. This Portuguese nobleman, travelling over Spain 
 from mere curiosity, stopped at Granada as he passed through it. 
 He came to the play. I did not perform that evening. His exami- 
 nation of the actresses was very particular, and he found one to his 
 liking. Their acquaintance commenced on the very next day, and 
 the definitive treaty was very nearly concluded when I appeared 
 upon the stage. What with some personal graces, and no little 
 affectation in setting them off, the weathercock veered about all on 
 a sudden ; my Portuguese was mine, and mine only, till death do us 
 part. Yet, since the truth must be told, I knew perfectly that my 
 sister of the sock and buskin had entrapped this nobleman, and 
 spared no pains to chouse her out of her prize ; to my success you 
 are yourself a witness. She bears me no small grudge on that 
 account ; but the thing could not be avoided. She ought to reflect 
 that it is the way of all female flesh that the dearest friends play 
 off the same trick upon one another, and put a good face upon it 
 into the bargain." 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 RECEPTION OP GIL BLAS AMONG THE PLAYERS AT GRANADA ; ANOTHER 
 OLD ACQUAINTANCE UP IN THE GREEN-ROOM. 
 
 JfST as Laura was finishing her story, there came in an old 
 actress who lived in her neighborhood, and was come to take her 
 to the theatre as she passed by. This venerable tutelary of the stage 
 was admirably fitted to play some superannuated strumpet among 
 the heathen goddesses in a pantomime. My sister was not in the 
 least remisa in introducing her brother to that stale old harridan,
 
 384 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 whereupon a profusion of compliments was bandied about on both 
 sides. 
 
 I left them together, telling the steward's relict that I would join 
 her again at the playhouse, as. soon as I had sent my baggage to the 
 Marquis de Marialva's, to whose residence she directed me. First I 
 went to the room I had hired, whence, after having settled with my 
 landlady, I repaired with a porter who carried myluggage to a large 
 ready-furnished house, where my new master was quartered. At 
 the door I met his steward, who asked me if I was not the lady 
 Estella's brother. I answered, in the affirmative. " Then you are 
 welcome, Signor Cavalier," replied he. " The Marquis de Marialva, 
 whose steward I have the honor to be, has commissioned me to re- 
 ceive you properly. There is a room got ready for you ; I will show 
 you the way to it, if you please, that you may be quite at home." 
 He took me up to the top of the house, and thrust me into so small 
 a room, that a very narrow bed, a chest of drawers, and two chairs 
 completely filled it This was my apartment. " You will not have 
 much spare room," said my conductor, " but, as a set-off, I promise 
 you that you shall be superbly lodged at Lisbon." I locked up my 
 portmantua in the wardrobe, and put the key in my pocket, asking 
 at the same time what was the hour of supper. The answer 
 was, that his lordship seldom supped at home, but allowed each 
 servant a monthly sum for board wages. I put several other ques- 
 tions, and learned that the marquis's people were a happy set of 
 idle fellows. After a conversation short and sweet, I left the 
 steward to go and look for Laura, reflecting, much to my own 
 satisfaction, on the happy omens I drew from the opening of my 
 new situation. 
 
 As soon as I got to the playhouse door, and mentioned my name 
 as Estella's brother, there was free admission at once. You might 
 have observed the forwardness of the guards to make way for me, 
 just as if I had been one of the most considerable noblemen in 
 Granada. All the supernumeraries, doorkeepers, and receivers of 
 checks whom I encountered in my progress made me their very best 
 bows. But what I should like best to give the reader an idea of is 
 the serious reception which the merry vagrants gave me in the 
 green-room, where I found the whole dramatis personse read\ 
 dressed, and on the point of drawing up the curtain. The actors 
 and actresses, to whom Laura introduced me, fell upon me without 
 mercy. The men were quite troublesome with their greetings ; and 
 the women, not to be outdone, laid their plastered faces alongside of 
 mine, till they covered it with a villainous compound of red and 
 white. No one choosing to be the last in making me welcome, they 
 all paid their compliments in a breath. JEolus himself, answering
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 385 
 
 from all the points of the compass at once, would not have been a 
 match for them but my sister was ; for the loan of her tongue was 
 always at the service of a friend, and she brought me completely 
 out of debt. 
 
 But I did not get clear off with the squeezes of the principal per- 
 formers. The civilities of the scene-painters, the band, the prompter, 
 the candle-snuffer, and the call-boy were to be endured with pa- 
 tience ; all the understrappers in the theatre came to see me run the 
 gantlet. One would have supposed one's self in a foundling hos- 
 pital, and that they had none of them ever known what sort of 
 animals brothers and sisters were. 
 
 In the meantime the play began. Some gentlemen, who were 
 behind the scenes, then ran to get seats in the front of the house : 
 for my part, feeling myself quite at home, I continued in conversa- 
 tion with those of the actors who were waiting to go on. Among 
 the number there was one whom they called Melchior. The name 
 struck me. I looked hard at the person who answered to it, and 
 thought I had seen him somewhere. At last I recollected that it 
 was Melchior Zapata, a poor strolling player, who has been de- 
 scribed, in the first part of this true history, as soaking his crusts 
 in the pure element. 
 
 I immediately took him aside, and said, " I am much mistaken if 
 you are not that Signer Melchior with whom I had the honor of 
 breakfasting one day by the margin of & clear fountain, between 
 Valladolid and Segovia. I was with a journeyman barber. We had 
 some provisions with us which we clubbed with yours, and all three 
 partook of a little rural feast, to which wit and anecdote gave addi- 
 tional relish." Zapata. bethought him for a minute or two, and then . 
 answered, "You tell me of a circumstance which often since, came 
 across my mind. I had then just been trying my fortune at Madrid, 
 and was returning to Zamora. I recollect perfectly that my affairs 
 were a little out at elbows." " I recollect it too," replied I, " by the 
 token of a doublet which you wore, lined with play-bills. Neither 
 have I forgotten that you complained of having a wife cursed with 
 incorruptible chastity." " O ! that misfortune has found its remedy 
 long ago," said Zapata, shaking his ears. " By all the powers of 
 womanhood, the jade has effectually reformed that virtue and given 
 me a warmer lining to my doublet." 
 
 I was going to congratulate him on his wife's having shown so 
 much sense, when he was obliged to leave me and go on the stage. 
 Being curious to know what sort of an animal his wife was, I went 
 up to an actor and desired him to point her out. He did so, saying 
 at the same time, "There she is; it is Narcissa the prettiest of all 
 our women except your sister." I concluded that this must be the 
 25
 
 386 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 uettvss in whose favor the Marquis de Marialva had declared before 
 meeting with his Estella ; and my conjecture was but too correct. 
 After the play, I attended Laura home, where I saw several cooks 
 preparing a handsome entertainment. "You may sup here," said 
 she. " I will do no such thing," answered I : " the marquis perhaps 
 will like to be alone with you." " Not at all," replied she ; " he is 
 coming with two of his own friends and one of our gentlemen ; 
 vou will just make the sixth. You know that in our free and easy 
 way there is no impropriety in secretaries sitting down at table with 
 their masters." "Very true," said I; "but it is rather to soon to 
 assume the privilege of a favorite. I must first get employed in 
 some confidential commission, and then lay in my claim to that 
 honorable distinction." Judging it to be so best, I went out of 
 Laura's house, and got back to my inn, whither I reckoned on 
 repairing every day, since my master had no regular establish- 
 ment. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 AN EXTRAORDINARY COMPANION AT SUPPER ; AND AN ACCOUNT OP 
 THEIR CONVERSATION. 
 
 I REMARKED in the coffee-room a sort of an old monk, hab- 
 ited in coarse gray cloth, at supper, quite alone in a corner. I 
 went and sat opposite to him, out of curiosity ; we exchanged a 
 civil bow, and he showed himself to be quite as well bred as I was, 
 notwithstanding my lay education. My commons were brought me, 
 and I fell to it with a very catholic appetite. While I was eating, 
 my tongue was mute, but my eyes glanced by snatches towards this 
 singular character, and always caught his at the same employment. 
 Liking better to stare than be stared at, I addressed my speech to 
 him thus : " Pray, father, have we ever by any chance met anywhere 
 but here ? You peer at me as if you scarcely knew whether I was 
 an acquaintance or a stranger." He answered gravely, " If I look 
 at you with fixed attention, it is only to admire the prodigious 
 variety of adventures which are chronicled in the features of your 
 face." "It should seem," said I, in a joking tone, "as if your rev- 
 erence were something of a physiognomist." "Far more deeply 
 imbued in science than a mere physiognomist," answered the~monk, 
 " I found prophecies on my observations which have never been 
 belied by the event. My skill in palmistry is no less, and I will
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 387 
 
 set my oracles against the surest of antiquity, after comparing the 
 inspection of the hand with that of the face." 
 
 Though this old man had all the appearance of profound wisdom, 
 his talk was so like that of a madman, that I could not help laugh- 
 ing at him outright. So far from being offended at my want of man- 
 ners, he smiled at it, and went on to the following effect, after run- 
 ning his eye round the coffee-room, to be assured that there were no 
 listeners : " I am not surprised at finding you so prejudiced against 
 two sciences which pass at this time of day for mere frivolity ; the 
 long and painful study they require disheartens the learned, who 
 turn their backs upon them, and then swear that they are fables, 
 out of disgust at having missed their attainment. For my part, I am 
 not to be frightened by the darkness which envelops them, any more 
 than by the difficulties which are perpetual stumbling-blocks in the 
 pursuit of chemical discoveries, and in the marvellous art of trans- 
 muting baser metals into gold. 
 
 " But I do flatter myself," pursued he, looking steadfastly at me, 
 " that I am addressing a young gentleman of good sense, to whom 
 my systems will not appear altogether in the light of idle dreams. 
 A sample of my skill will dispose you better than the most subtile 
 arguments to pass a favorable judgment on my pretensions." After 
 talking in this manner he drew from his pocket a vial full of a 
 lively-looking red liquor, on which he expatiated thus : " Here is 
 an elixir which I have distilled this morning from the juices of cer- 
 tain plants ; for I have employed almost my whole life, like Derao- 
 critus, in finding out the properties of simples and minerals. You 
 shall make trial of its virtue. The wine we are drinking with our 
 supper is very bad ; henceforth it will become excellent." At the 
 same time he put two drops of his elixir into my bottle, which 
 made my wine more delicious than the choicest vintage of Spain. 
 
 The marvellous strikes the imagination ; and when once that 
 faculty is enlisted, judgment is turned adrift. Delighted with so 
 glorious a secret, and persuaded that he must have outdeviled the 
 devil before he could have got at it, I cried out in a paroxysm of 
 admiration, "O reverend father! prithee forgive your servant if he 
 took you at first for an old blockhead. I now abjure my error. 
 There is no need to look further to be assured that it depends only 
 on your own will to turn an iron bar into a wedge of gold in the 
 twinkling of an eye. How happy should I be were I master of 
 that admirable science !" " Heaven preserve you from ever acquiring 
 it," interrupted the old man, with a deep sigh. " You know not, 
 my son, what a fatal possession you covet. Instead of envying, 
 rather pity me, for having taken such infinite pains to be made un- 
 happy. I am always disturbed in my mind. I fear a discovery ;
 
 388 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 and then perpetual imprisonment would be the reward of all my 
 labors. In this apprehension I lead a vagabond life, sometimes dis- 
 guised as a priest or monk, sometimes as a gentleman or a peasant. 
 Where is the benefit of knowing how to manufacture gold on such 
 terms ? Are not the goods of this world downright misery to those 
 who cannot enjoy them in tranquillity?" 
 
 " What you say appears to me very sensible," said I to the philo- 
 sopher. " There is nothing like living at one's ease. You have 
 rid me of all hankering after the philosopher's stone. I will rest 
 satisfied with learning from you my future destiny." " With all my 
 heart, my good lad," answered he. " I have already made my 
 remarks upon your features; now let me see your hand." I gave it 
 him with a confidence which will do my penetration but little 
 credit in the esteem of some readers. He examined it very atten- 
 tively, and then pronounced, as in a rapture of inspiration, " Ah 1 
 what transitions from pain to pleasure, and from pleasure to pain ! 
 What a whimsical alternation of good and evil chances ! But you 
 have already experienced the largest share of your allotted reverses. 
 You have but few more tides of misfortune to stem, and then a 
 great lord will contrive for you an eligible fate, which shall not be 
 subject to change." 
 
 After having assured me that I might depend on his prediction, 
 he bade me farewell, and went out of the inn, leaving me in deep 
 meditation on the things I had just heard. There could be no 
 doubt of the Marquis de Marialva being the great lord in question ; 
 and consequently nothing appeared more within the verge of possi- 
 bility than the accomplishing of the oracle. But though these had 
 not been the slightest likelihood, that would have been no hinderance 
 to giving the impostor monk unbounded credit, since his elixir had 
 transmuted my sour incredulity into the most tractable digestion of 
 his falsehoods. That nothing might be wanting on my side to play 
 into the hands of my foreboded luck, I determined to attach myself 
 more closely to the marquis than I had ever done to any of my 
 masters. Having taken this resolution, I went home in unusually 
 high spirits: never did foolish woman descend in better humor 
 from the garret of another foolish woman who had told her fortune.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 389 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE MARQUIS DE MARIALVA GIVES A COMMISSION TO GIL BLAS. 
 THAT FAITHFUL SECRETARY ACQUITS HIMSELF OF IT. 
 
 THE marquis was not yet returned from his theatrical party, 
 and I found his upper servants playing at cards in his apart- 
 ments while they were waiting for his arrival. I got to be sociable 
 with them, and we amused ourselves with jocular conversation till 
 two o'clock in the morning, when our master arrived. He was a 
 little surprised at seeing me, and said, with an air of kindness, 
 which made me conclude that he came home very well satisfied 
 with his evening, " How is this, Gil Bias ? Are you not gone to 
 bed yet?" I answered that I wished to know first whether he had 
 any commands for me. " Probably," replied he, " I may have a 
 commission to give you to-morrow morning; but it will be time 
 enough then to acquaint you with my wishes. Go to your own 
 room, and henceforward remember that I dispense with your at- 
 tendance at bed-time; my other servants are sufficient for that 
 occasion." 
 
 After this hint, which was much to my satisfaction in the main, 
 since it spared me a slavery which I should have felt very un- 
 pleasantly at times, I left the marquis in his apartment, and 
 withdrew to my garret. I went to bed. Not being able to sleep, it 
 seemed good to follow the counsel of Pythagoras, and to examine 
 all the actions of the day by the test of reason; to reprimand 
 severely what had been done amiss, and if anything had been done 
 well, to rejoice in it. 
 
 On looking into the day-book of my conscience, the balance was 
 not sufficiently in my favor to keep me in good humor with myself. 
 I felt remorse at having lent myself to Laura's imposition. It was 
 in vain to urge, in self-defence, that I could not, with any decency, 
 give the lie to a girl who had no object in view but to do me a 
 pleasure, and that I was in some sort under the necessity of 
 becoming an accomplice in the fraud. This was a paltry excuse in 
 the darkness of the night, for I pleaded against myself that at all 
 events the matter should be pushed no farther, and that it was the 
 summit of impudence to remain upon the establishment of a noble- 
 man whose confidence I so ill repaid. In short, after a severe trial, 
 it was agreed in my own breast that I was very little short of an 
 arrant knave. 
 
 But to have done with the morality of the act, and pass on to the 
 probable issue, it was evidently playing a desperate game, to cozen
 
 390 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 a man of consequence, who might be enabled, as an instrument for 
 the visitation of my sins perhaps, to detect the imposture in its 
 very infancy. A reflection at once so prudent and so virtuous acted 
 as a refrigerator on my spirits ; but visions of pleasure and of in- 
 terest soon raised them again above the freezing point. Besides, 
 the prophecy of the man with the elixir would have been enough to 
 put me in heart once more. I therefore gave myself up to the 
 indulgence of the most agreeable fancies. All the rules of arith- 
 metic, from simple addition to compound interest, were set in array, 
 to cast up what sum my salary would amount to at the end of ten 
 years' service. Then there was a large allowance for presents and 
 gratuities from my master, whose liberal disposition according 
 admirably with my liberal desires, my imagination grew quite 
 fantastical, and extended the landmarks of my fortune over in- 
 numerable acres of unsubstantial territory. Sleep overtook me in 
 the calculation, and raised a magnificent aerial mansion on the 
 estate, where a new race of grandees was to originate. I got up the 
 next morning about eight o'clock to go and receive T ny patron's 
 orders j but as I was opening my door to go out, what was my sur- 
 prise at meeting him in his wrapping-gown and night-cap ! He 
 was quite alone. " Gil Bias," said he, " on parting with your sister 
 last night, I promised to pass this morning with her ; but an affair 
 of consequence will not admit of my keeping my word. Go and 
 assure her from me that I am deeply mortified at the disappoint- 
 ment, but that I shall certainly sup with her to-night. That is not 
 all," added he, putting a purse into my hands and a little shagreen 
 case set round with diamonds ; " carry her my portrait, and keep 
 this purse of fifty pistoles, which I give you as a mark of my early- 
 conceived friendship." I took the picture in one hand, and in the 
 other the purse to which I was so little entitled. I put my best leg 
 foremost in my way to Laura, muttering to myself, in the transports 
 of excessive joy, "Good! the prophecy is accomplished in the 
 twinkling of an eye. What a windfall, to be the brother of a girl 
 so full of beauty and attraction ! It is a pity the credit attached to 
 the relationship is not commensurate with the lucre and the com- 
 fort," 
 
 Laura, unlike most women in her profession, had a habit of early 
 rising. I caught her at her toilet, where, while waiting for her 
 illustrious foreigner, she was engrafting on her natural beauty all 
 the adventitious charms which the cosmetic art could supply. 
 " Lovely Estella !" said I, on accosting her, "thou absolute load- 
 stone of the tremontanes, I may now sit down at table with my 
 master, since he has honored me with a commission which gives me 
 that prerogative, and which I have just come to fulfill. He cannot
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 391 
 
 have the pleasure of waiting on you this morning, as he had pur- 
 posed, but to make you amends for the disappointment, he will sup 
 here this evening, and sends you his picture, which, to all appear- 
 ance, is enclosed in something more valuable than itself." 
 
 I put the box into her hand at once, and the lively sparkling of 
 the brilliants which encompassed it made her eyes sparkle and her 
 mouth water. She opened it out of mere curiosity, looked carelessly 
 at the painting, as people perform a duty for which they have little 
 relish, then shut it, and once more fell greedily on the jewelry. 
 Their beauty made her eloquent, and she said to me, with the smile 
 of a satirist, " These are copies which those mercenary things called 
 actresses value much more highly than originals." 
 
 I next acquainted her that the generous Portuguese, when giving 
 me charge of the portrait, recommended it to my care by a purse of 
 fifty pistoles. " I beg you will accept of my congratulations," said 
 she ; "this nobleman begins where it is even uncommon for others 
 to leave off." "It is to you, my divine creature," answered I, " that 
 this present is owing; the marquis only made it on the score of 
 natural affection." " I could be well pleased," replied she, " that he 
 were to make you a score such presents every day. I cannot express 
 in what extravagance you are dear to me. From the first moment 
 of our meeting, I became attached to you by so strong a tie as time 
 has not been able to dissolve. When I lost you at Madrid, I did not 
 despair of finding you again ; and yesterday, on your appearance, I 
 received you like a deodand. In a word, my friend, Heaven has 
 created us for one another, Yoiu shall be my husband; but we 
 must get plenty of money in the first instance. I shall just lend 
 myself out to three or four silly fellows more, and then you may 
 live like a gentleman on your means." 
 
 I thanked her in the most appropriate terms for such an instance 
 of extreme condescension on my behalf, and we got insensibly into 
 a conversation which lasted till noon. At that hour I withdrew, to 
 go and give my master an account of the manner in which his pre- 
 sent was received. Though Laura had given me no instructions 
 thereupon, I was not remiss in composing a fine compliment on my 
 way, with which I meant to launch out on her part; but it was just 
 so much flash in the pan. For When I got home, the marquis \v;;s 
 gone out, and the Fates had decreed that I should never see him 
 more, for reasons which will be methodically stated in the succeed- 
 ing chapter.
 
 392 AUYEXTl'liES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 A THUNDERBOLT TO GIL BLAS. 
 
 T REPAIRED to my inn, where, meeting with two men of com- 
 I panionable talents, I dined and sat at table with them till the 
 play began. We parted; they as their business and desire pointed 
 them, and, for my own part, my bent was towards the theatre. It 
 may be proper to observe, by the way, that I bad all possible reason 
 to be in a good humor. The conversation with my chance com- 
 panions had been joyous in the extreme ; the color of my fortune 
 was gay and animating; yet for all that, I could not help giving 
 way to melancholy, without either knowing why or being able to 
 reason myself out of it. It was. doubtless a prophetic warning of 
 the misfortune which threatened me. 
 
 As I entered the green-room, Melchior Zapata came up, and told 
 me in a low voice to follow him. He led me to an unfrequented 
 part of the house, and opened his business thus: "Worthy sir, I 
 make it a point of conscience to give you a very serious warning. 
 You are aware that the Marquis de Marialva had at first taken a 
 fancy to Narcissa, my wife ; he had even gone so far as to fix a day 
 for trying the relish of my rib, when that cockatrice Estella con- 
 trived to flyblow the bill of fare, and transfer the banquet to her 
 own untainted charms. Judge, then, whether an actress can be 
 gulled instead of gulling, and preserve the sweetness of her temper. 
 My wife had taken it deeply to heart, and there is no species of 
 revenge to which she would not have recourse. A fine opportunity 
 has offered. Yesterday, if you recollect, all our supernumeraries 
 were crowding together to see you. The deputy candle-snuffer told 
 some of the inferior comedians that he recollected you perfectly 
 well, and that you might be anything but Estella's brother. 
 
 " This report," added Melchior, " came to Narcissa's ears to-day. 
 She lost no time in questioning the author, and that grub of the 
 interior stood to the whole story. He says that he knew you as 
 Arsenia's servant, when Estella waited on her at Madrid under the 
 name of Laura. My wife, full of.glee at this discovery, means to 
 acquaint the Marquis de Marialva with it when he comes to the 
 play this evening, so take your measures accordingly. If you are 
 not Estella's brother in good earnest, I would advise you as a friend, 
 and on the score of old acquaintance, to make your escape while 
 your skin is whole. Narcissa, satisfied in her tender mercy with 
 only one victim, and that of her own sex, has allowed me to give 
 you this notice, that you may outrun your ill luck."
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 393 
 
 It would have been waste of words to press the subject farther. I 
 returned thanks for the caution to this fretter of his hour, who saw 
 by my terrified aspect that I was not the man to give the deputy 
 candle-snuffer the lie. I did not feel the least temptation to carry 
 my dangerous valor such a length. I had not even the heart to go 
 and bid farewell to Laura, for fear she should insist on my keeping 
 up the farce. I could easily conceive that so excellent an actress 
 might get out of the scrape with flying colors ; but there seemed to 
 be nothing for me short of a swingeing castigation ; and I was not 
 so far gone in love as to stand by my sweetheart at the risk of my 
 own person. I thought of nothing but a precipitate retreat with 
 my household gods, or rather goods, if such a trumpery collection 
 of individual property might be called so. I disappeared from the 
 play-house in the twinkling of an eye; and, in less time than it 
 would have taken to confess my sins, was my portmanteau carried 
 off and safely lodged with a muleteer who was to set out for Toledo 
 at three o'clock next morning. I could have wished myself already 
 with the Count de Polan, whose hospitable roof seemed my only 
 safe asylum. But I was not there yet ; and it was impossible to 
 think without dread of the time remaining to be passed in a town 
 where I was afraid they would hunt me out without giving me a 
 night's law. 
 
 The smell of supper drew me to my inn notwithstanding; though 
 I was as uneasy as a debtor who knows that a writ is out against 
 him. My stomach, I believe, was not sufficiently well knit that 
 evening for my supper to play its part as it should do. The miser- 
 able sport of fear, I watched all the people who came into the 
 coffee-room, and whenever by chance they carried a gallows in their 
 physiognomy, which is no uncommon ensign in such places of re- 
 sort, I shuddered with horrid forebodings. After having supped 
 the supper of the damned, I got up from table and returned to my 
 carrier's house, where I threw myself on some clean straw till it was 
 time to set out. 
 
 My patience was well tried during that interval ; for a thousand 
 unpleasant thoughts attacked me in all directions. If I dozed now 
 and then, the enraged marquis stood before me, pounding Laura's 
 fair face to a jelly with his fist, and turning her whole house out at 
 window ; or, to come nearer home, I heard him giving directions 
 for my death under the operation of a cudgel. At such a vision I 
 started out of my sleep, and waking, which is usually so pleasant 
 after a frightful dream, inspired me with more horror than even the 
 fictions of my entranced fancy. 
 
 Happily the muleteer delivered me from so dire a purgatory, by 
 coming to acquaint me that his mules were ready. I was immedi-
 
 394 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 ately on my legs, and set out radically cured, for which Heaven has 
 my best thanks, of Laura and the occult sciences. As we got far- 
 ther from Granada, my mind recovered its tone. I began chatting 
 with the muleteer, laughed at his droll stories, and insensibly lost 
 all my apprehensions. I slept undisturbed at Ubeda, where we lay 
 the first night, and on the fourth day we got to Toledo. My first 
 care was to inform myself of the Count de Polan's residence, 
 whither I repaired under the full persuasion that he would not 
 suffer me to lodge elsewhere. But I reckoned without my host. 
 There was no one at home but a person to take care of the house, 
 who told me that his master was just gone to the castle of Leyva, 
 having been sent for on account of Seraphina's dangerous illness. 
 
 The count's absence was altogether unexpected : here was no 
 longer any inducement to stay at Toledo, and all my plans were 
 changed at once. Finding myself so near Madrid, I resolved to go 
 thither. It came into my head that I might make my way at court, 
 where talents of the first order, as I had heard, were not absolutely 
 necessary to fill situations of the first consequence. On the very 
 next morning I took advantage of back carriage, to be set down in 
 the renowned capital of Spain. Fortune took me kindly by the 
 hand, and introduced me to a higher cast of parts than those ! had 
 hitherto filled. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 GIL BLAS TAKES LODGINGS IN A READY-FURNISHED HOUSE. HE GETS 
 ACQUAINTED WITH CAPTAIN CHINCHILLA. 
 
 ON my first arrival at Madrid, I fixed my headquarters in a 
 lodging-house, where resided, among other persons, an old 
 captain, who was come from the distant part of New Castille, to 
 solicit a pension at court, and he thought his claims but too well 
 founded. His name was Don Annibal de Chinchilla. It was not 
 without much staring that I saw him for the first time. He was a 
 man of about sixty, of gigantic stature, and of anatomical leanness. 
 His whiskers were like brushwood, fencing off the two sides of his 
 face as high as his temples. Besides that, he was short in his reck- 
 oning by an arm and a leg ; there was a vacancy for an eye, which 
 Polypheme would have supplied as he did, had patches of green silk 
 been then in the fashion ; and his features were hacked sufficiently 
 to illustrate a treatise of geometry. With these exceptions, his con-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 395 
 
 figuration was much like that of another man. As to his mental 
 qualities, he was not altogether without understanding ; and what 
 he wanted in quickness he made up by gravity. His principles 
 were rigid in the extreme ; and it was his particular boast to be 
 delicate on the point of honor. 
 
 After two or three interviews, he distinguished me by his confi- 
 dence. I soon got into all his personal history : he related on what 
 occasions he had left an eye at Naples, an arm in Lombardy, and a 
 leg in the Low Countries. The most admirable circumstance in all 
 his narratives of battles and sieges was, that not a single feature of 
 the swaggerer peeped out ; not a word escaped him to his own honor 
 and glory ; though one could readily have forgiven him for making 
 some little display of the half which was still extant of himself, as 
 a set-off against the dilapidations which had deducted so largely 
 from the usual contexture of a man. Officers who return from their 
 campaigns without a scratch upon their skins, or a love-lock out of 
 place, are not always so humble in their pretensions. 
 
 But he told me that what gave him most uneasiness was the 
 having wasted a considerable portion of his private fortune on 
 military objects, so that he had not more than a hundred ducats a 
 year left a poor establishment for such a pair of whiskers, a gentle- 
 man's lodging, and an amanuensis to multiply memorials by whole- 
 sale. " For, in point of fact, my worthy friend," added he, shrugging 
 his shoulders, " I present one, with a blessing on my endeavors, every 
 day, and the last meets with the same attention as the first. You 
 would say that it was an even bet between the prime minister and 
 me, which of us two shall be tired first, the memorialist or the re- 
 ceiver of the memorials. I have often had the honor, % too, of ad- 
 dressing the king on the same subject ; but the rector and his curate 
 say grace in the same key; and in the meantime my castle of Chin- 
 chilla is falling to ruin for want of necessary repairs." 
 
 " Faint heart never won fair lady," said I, most wisely, to the 
 captain ; " you are perhaps on the eve of finding all your marches 
 and countermarches repaid with usury." " I must not flatter myself 
 with that pleasing expectation," answered Don Annibal. " It is but 
 three days since I spoke to one of the minister's secretaries ; and if 
 I am to trust his representations, I have only to hold up my head 
 and look big." " What, then, did he say to you ?" replied I. " Had 
 those poor dumb mouths, your wounds, no eloquence to wring a 
 hireling pittance for their profuse expense of blood?" "You shall 
 judge for yourself," resumed Chinchilla. "This secretary told me 
 in good plain terms, ' My honest friend, you need not boast so much 
 of your zeal and your fidelity ; you have only done your duty in ex- 
 posing yourself to danger for your country. Naked glory is the
 
 396 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 true and honorable recompense of gallant actions, and as such is 
 the prize at which a Spaniard aims. You therefore argue on false 
 principles, if you consider the bounty you solicit as a debt. In case 
 it should be granted, you will owe that favor exclusively to the royal 
 goodness, which, in its extreme condescension, requites those of its 
 subjects who have served the state valiantly.' Thus you see," pur- 
 sued the captain, " that if I had a hundred lives, they are all pledged, 
 and that I am likely to go back as hungry as I came." 
 
 A brave man in distress is the most touching object in this world. 
 I exhorted him to stick close, and offered to write his memorials out 
 fair for nothing. I even went so far as to open my purse to him, 
 and to beg it as a favor that he would draw upon me for whatever 
 he wanted. But he was not one of those folks who never wait to be 
 asked twice on such occasions. So much the reverse, that with a 
 commendable delicacy on the subject, he thanked me for my kind- 
 ness, but refused it peremptorily. He afterwards told me that, for 
 fear of sponging upon any one, he had accustomed himself, by little 
 and little, to live with such sobriety, that the smallest quantity of 
 food was sufficient for his subsistence ; which was but too true. His 
 daily fare was confined to vegetables, by dint whereof his component 
 parts were confined to skin and bone. That he might have no wit- 
 nesses how ill he dined, he usually shut himself up in his chamber 
 at that meal. I prevailed so far with him, however, by repeated 
 entreaties, as to obtain that we should dine and sup together; then, 
 undermining his pride by little indirect artifices of compassion, I 
 ordered more provision and wine than I could consume to my own 
 share. I pressed him to eat and drink. At first he made difficulties 
 about it; but in the end there was no resisting my hospitality. 
 After a time, his modesty becoming fainter as his diet was more 
 flush, he helped me off with my dinner and lightened my bottle 
 almost without asking. 
 
 One day, after four or five glasses, when his stomach had renewed 
 its intimacy with a more generous system of feeding, he said to me 
 with an air of gayety, " Upon my word, Signor Gil Bias, you have 
 very winning ways with you; you make me do just whatever you 
 please. There is something so hearty in your welcome as to relieve 
 me from all fear of trespassing on your generous temper." My 
 captain seemed at that moment so entirely to have got rid of his 
 bashfulness, that if I had been in the humor to have seized the 
 lucky moment, and to have pressed my purse once more on his 
 acceptance, I am much mistaken if he would have refused it. I 
 did not put him to the trial, but rested satisfied with having made 
 him my messmate, and taken the trouble not only to copy out his 
 memorials, but to assist him in their composition. By dint of having
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 397 
 
 written homilies out fair, I had learned the knack of phraseology, 
 and was become a sort of. author. The old officer, on his side, had 
 some little vanity about writing well. Both of us thus contending 
 for the prize, the bursts of eloquence would have done honor to the 
 most celebrated professors of Salamanca. But it was in vain that 
 we sat on opposite sides of the table, and drained our genius to the 
 very dregs, to nourish the flowers of rhetoric in these memorials ; 
 you might as well have planted an orange-grove on the sea-beach. 
 In whatever new light we placed Don Annibal's services, it was all 
 the same at court ; the connoisseurs were decided about their merit ; 
 so that the battered veteran had no reason to sing the praises of that 
 spirit which leads officers on to spend their family estates in the 
 service. In the virulence of his spleen he cursed the planet under 
 which he was born, and sent Naples, Lombardy, and the Low Coun- 
 tries to the devil. 
 
 That his mortification might be pressed down and running over, 
 it happened to his face. one day that a poet, introduced by the Duke 
 of Alva, having recited a sonnet before the king on the birth of an 
 infanta, was gratified with a pension of five hundred ducats. I 
 believe the lop-limbed captain would have gone raving mad at it, if 
 I had not taken some pains to recompense his spirit. " What is the 
 matter with you?" said I, seeing him quite beside himself. "There 
 is nothing in all this which ought to go so terribly against the 
 grain. Ever since Mount Parnassus swelled above the subject 
 plain, have not poets pleaded the privilege of laying princes under 
 contribution to their muse ? There is not a crowned head in Chris- 
 tendom that has not substituted a pensioned laureate for the house- 
 hold fool of less refined times. And between ourselves, this species 
 of patronage, for the most part, galloping down full drive to poster- 
 ity on the saddle of Pegasus, raises a hue and cry in honor of royal 
 munificence; but bounty to persons who are lost in a crowd, however 
 deserving, adds nothing to the bulk or stature of posthumous renown. 
 Augustus must have drained his treasury by gratuities, and yet how 
 few of the names on his pension list have come down to us ! But 
 distant ages shall be informed, as we are, in all the hyperbole of 
 poetic diction, that his benefits descended on Virgil like the rain 
 from heaven, whose drops arithmetic has no combination to count, 
 no principles by which to reason on their number." 
 
 But let me talk ever so classically to Don Annibal, there was a 
 confounded acidity in that sonnet which curdled all the milky in- 
 gredients of his moral composition ; it was impossible to chew, 
 swallow, and digest such food with human organs; and he was fully 
 determined to give the matter up at once. It seemed right, never- 
 theless, by way of playing for his last stake, to present one more
 
 398 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 memorial to the Duke of Lerma, and if that failed there was an end 
 of the game. For this purpose went together to the prime minister's. 
 There we met a young man, who, after saluting the captain, said to 
 him in a tone of affection, " My old and dear master, is it your own 
 self that I see? What business brings you to this mart of favor? 
 If you have occasion for any one to speak a good word for you, do 
 not spare my lungs ; they are entirely at your service." " How is 
 this, Pedrillo?" answered the officer; "to hear you talk, it should 
 seem as if you held some important post in this house." " At least," 
 replied the young man, " I have influence enough here to put an 
 honest rustic like you into the right train." " That being the case," 
 resumed the captain, with a smile, " I place myself under your pro- 
 tection." "I accept the pledge," rejoined Pedrillo. "You have 
 only to acquaint me with your particular taste, and I engage to give 
 you a savory slice out of the ministerial pasty." 
 
 We had no sooner opened our minds to this young fellow, so full 
 of kind assurances, than he inquired where Don Annibal resided ; 
 then, promising that we should hear from him on the following day, 
 he vanished without informing us what he meant to do, or even 
 telling us whether he belonged to the Duke of Lerma's household. 
 I was curious to know what this Pedrillo was, whose turn of mind 
 appeared to be so brisk and active. " He is a brave lad," said the 
 captain, " who waited on me some years ago, but finding me out at 
 elbows, went away in search of a better service. There was no 
 offence to me in all that; it is very natural to change when one can- 
 not be worse off. The creature is pleasant enough, not deficient in 
 parts, and happy in a spirit of intrigue which would wheedle with 
 the devil. But notwithstanding all his fine pretence, I am not san- 
 guine in my reckoning on the zeal he has just testified for me." 
 " Perhaps," said I, " there may be some plausibility in his designs. 
 Should he be a retainer, for example, to any of the duke's principal 
 officers, it will be in his power to serve you. You have lived too 
 long in the world not to know that in great houses everything is 
 done by party and cabal ; that the masters are governed by two or 
 three upper servants about their persons, who in their turn are gov- 
 erned by that multitude of menials attendant upon them." 
 
 On the next morning we saw Pedrillo at our breakfast-table. 
 '' Gentlemen," said he, " if I did not explain myself yesterday as to 
 my means of serving Captain Chinchilla, it was because we were not 
 in a place where such a communication could be made with safety. 
 Besides, I was disposed to ascertain whether the thing was feasible 
 before you were made parties in it. Understand, then, that I am 
 the confidential servant of Signer Don Rodrigo de Calderona, the 
 Duke of Lerma's first secretary. My master, who is much addicted
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 399 
 
 to women, goes almost every evening to sup with a little Arragonian 
 nightingale, whom he keeps in a cage near the purlieus of the court. 
 She is quite a young girl from Albarazin, a most lovely creature. 
 She has some wit as well as beauty, and sings enchantingly ; they 
 call her the Spanish Siren. I am the bearer of some tender inquiries 
 every morning, and am just come from her. I have proposed to her 
 to pass off Signer Don Annibal for her uncle, and the object of the 
 forgery is to engage her lover in his interests. She is very willing 
 to lend her aid in the business. Besides some little commission to 
 which she looks forward on the profits, it will tickle her vanity to be 
 taken for the niece of a military man." 
 
 Signer de Chinchilla looked very grim at this suggestion. He 
 declared his extreme abhorrence of becoming a party concerned in 
 a mere swindling trick, and still more of adopting a female adven- 
 turer, no better than she should be, into his family, and thus cast- 
 ing a stain upon its immaculate purity. It was not only for himself 
 that he felt all this soreness ; there was a recoil of ignominy on his 
 ancestors, which would lay their honors level with the dust. This 
 morbid delicacy seemed out of season to Pedrillo, who could not 
 help expressing his contempt of it thus : " You must surely be out of 
 your wits to take the matter up on that footing. A fine market you 
 bring your morals to, you dictators from the plough, with your ridi- 
 culous squeamishness ! Now you seem a good sensible man," appeal- 
 ing to me as he spoke these last words. " Can you believe your ears 
 when you hear such scruples advanced ? Heaven defend us ! At 
 court, of all the places in the world, to look at morals through a 
 microscope ! Let Fortune come under what haggard form she may, 
 they hug her in their arms, and swear she is a beauty." 
 
 My way of thinking was precisely with Pedrillo, and we dinned 
 it so stoutly into both the captain's ears, as to make him the Spanish 
 Siren's uncle against nature and inclination. When we had so far 
 prevailed over his pride, we all three set about drawing up a new 
 memorial for the minister, which was revised, with a copious inter- 
 lacing of additions and corrections. I then wrote it out fair, and 
 Pedrillo carried, it to the Arragonian chantress, who that very 
 evening put it into the hands of Signer Don Eodrigo, telling her 
 story so artlessly that the secretary, really supposing her the cap- 
 tain's niece, promised to take up his case. A few days afterwards 
 we reaped the fruits of our little project. Pedrillo came back to 
 our house with the lofty air of a benefactor. " Good news," said he 
 to Chinchilla. " The king is going to make a new grant of officers, 
 places, and pensions ; nor will your name be forgotten in the list. 
 But I am specially commissioned to inquire what present you 
 purpose making to the Spanish Siren, for the piper must be paid.
 
 400 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 As to myself, I vow and protest that I will not take a farthing ; the 
 pleasure of having contributed to patch up my old master's broken 
 fortunes is more to me than all the ingots of the Indies. But it is 
 not precisely so with our nymph of Albarazin ; she has a little 
 Jewish blood to plead when the Christian precept of loving her 
 neighbor as herself is preached up to her. She would pick her 
 own natural father's pocket ; so judge you whether she would be 
 above making a bargain with a travelling uncle." 
 
 " She has only to name her own terms," answered Don Annibal. 
 " Whatever my pension may be, she shall have the third of it 
 annually if she pleases ; I will pledge my word for it : and that 
 proportion ought to satisfy her craving, if his Catholic Majesty had 
 settled his whole exchequer on me." " I would as soon take your 
 word as your bond, for my own part," replied the nimble-footed 
 messenger of Don Eodrigo ; " I know that it will stand the assay ; 
 but you have to deal with a little creature who knows herself, and 
 naturally supposes that she knows all the rest of the world by the 
 same token. Besides, she would like better to take it in the lump ; 
 two-thirds to be paid down in ready money." " Why, how the 
 devil does she mean that I should get the wherewithal?" bawled 
 the captain, in a quandary. " Does she take me for an auditor of 
 public accounts, or treasurer to a charity ? You cannot have made 
 her acquainted with my circumstances." " Yes, but I have," 
 replied Pedrillo ; " she knows very well that you are poorer than 
 Job ; after what she has heard from me she could think no other- 
 wise. But do not make yourself uneasy ; my brain is never at a 
 loss for an expedient. I know an old scoundrel of a usurer, who 
 will take ten per cent, if he can get no more. You must assign 
 your first year's pension to him, in acknowledgment for a like 
 valuable consideration from him, which you will in point of fact 
 receive, only deducting the above-mentioned interest. As to 
 security, the lenSer will take your castle at Chinchilla, for want of 
 better ; there will be no dispute about that." 
 
 The captain declared his readiness to accept the terms, in case 
 of his being so fortunate as to possess any beneficial interest in the 
 good things to be given away the next morning. It happened 
 accordingly. He got a government with a pension of three hundred 
 pistoles. As soon as the news came, he signed and sealed as 
 required, settling his little concerns in town, and went off again for 
 New Castille with a balance of some few pistoles in his favor. 

 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 401 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 GIL BLAS COMES ACROSS HIS DEAR FRIEND FABRICIO AT COURT. 
 GREAT ECSTASY ON BOTH SIDES. 
 
 I HAD contracted a habit of going to the royal palace every 
 morning, where I lounged away two or three good hours in 
 seeing the good people pass to and fro ; but their aspect was less 
 imposing there than in other places, as the lesser stars turn pale in 
 the presence of the sun. 
 
 One day, as I was walking back and fore, and strutting about the 
 apartments, making about as wise a figure there as my neighbors, I 
 spied out Fabricio, whom I had left at Valladolid in the service of a 
 hospital director. It surprised me not a little that he was chatting 
 familiarly with the Duke of Medina Sidonia and the Marquis of 
 Santa Cruz. Those two noblemen, if my senses did not deceive 
 me, were listening with admiration to his prattle. To crown the 
 whole, he was as handsomely dressed as a grandee. 
 
 Surely I must be mistaken ! thought I. Can this possibly be the 
 son of Nunez the barber? More likely it is some young courtier 
 who bears a strong resemblance to him. But my suspense was of no 
 long duration. The party broke up, and I accosted Fabricio. He 
 knew me at once ; took me by the hand, and after pressing through 
 the crowd to get out of the precincts, said, with a hearty greeting, 
 " My dear Gil Bias, I am delighted to see you again. What are 
 you doing at Madrid? Are you still at service? Some place 
 about the court, perhaps ? How do matters stand with you ? Let 
 me into the history of all that has happened to you since your 
 precipitate flight from Valladolid." " You ask a great many ques- 
 tions in a breath," replied I ; " and we are not in a fit place for 
 story -telling." " You are in the right," answered "he ; " we shall be 
 better at home. Come, I will show you the way ; it is not far hence. 
 I am quite my own master, with all my comforts about me; per- 
 fectly easy as to the main chance, with a light heart and a happy 
 temper; because I am determined to see everything on the bright 
 side." 
 
 I accepted the proposal, and Fabricio escorted me. We stopped 
 at a house of magnificent appearance, where he told me that he 
 lived. There was a court to cross ; on one side it had a grand stair- 
 case leading to a suite of state apartments, and on the other a small 
 flight, dark and narrow, whither we betook ourselves to a residence 
 elevated in a different sense from what he had boasted. It consisted 
 of a single room, which my contriving friend had divided into four 
 26
 
 402 ADVENTURES OF GU BIAS. 
 
 by deal partitions. The first served as an antechamber to the 
 second, where he lay ; of the third he made his closet, of the last his 
 kitchen. The chamber and antechamber were papered with maps, 
 and many a sheet of philosophical discussion; nor was the furniture 
 by any means unsuitable to the hangings. There was a large 
 brocade bed, much the worse for wear; tawdry old chairs, with 
 coarse yellow coverings, fringed with Granada silk of the same 
 color ; a table with gilt feet, and a cloth over it that once aspired to 
 be red, bordered with tinsel and embroidery, tarnished by that old 
 corroder Time ; also an ebony cabinet, ornamented with figures in 
 a clumsy taste of sculpture. Instead of a convenient desk,, he had a 
 small table in his closet, and his library was made up with some 
 few books, and a great many bundles of paper arranged on shelves, 
 one above the other, the whole length of the wall. His kitchen, too 
 modest to put the rest of the establishment out of countenance, 
 exhibited a frugal assortment of earthenware and other necessary 
 implements of cookery. 
 
 Fabricio, when he had allowed me leisure to philosophize on his 
 domestic arrangements, begged to know my opinion of his apart- 
 ments and his housekeeping, and whether I was not enchanted with 
 them. " Yes, beyond all manner of doubt," answered I, with a 
 roguish smile. " You must have applied your wits to a good pur- 
 pose at Madrid, to have got so well accoutred. Of course you have 
 some post." " Heaven preserve me from anything of the sort 1" re- 
 plied he. "My line of life is far above all political situations. A 
 man of rank, to whom this house belongs, has given me a room in 
 it, whence I have contrived to piece out a suite of four, fitted up in 
 such taste as you may see. I devote my time only to employments 
 that are suited to my fancy, and never feel what it is to want." 
 " Explain yourself more intelligibly," said I, interrupting him. 
 "You set me all agog to be let into your little arrangements." 
 " Well, then," said he, " I will rid you of that devil curiosity at 
 once. I have commenced author, have plunged headlong into the 
 ocean of literature ; verse and prose run equally glib ; in short, I am 
 a Jack of all trades to the Muses." 
 
 " What ! you bound in solemn league and covenant to Apollo ?" 
 exclaimed I, with most intolerable laughter. "Nothing under a 
 prophet could ever have anticipated this. I should have been less 
 surprised at any other transformation. What possible delights have 
 you had the ingenuity to detect in the rugged landscape of Par- 
 nassus ? It would seem as if the laborers there have a very poor 
 taking in civil life, and feed on a coarse diet without sauce." "Out 
 upon you !" cried he, in dudgeon at the hint. " You are talking of 
 those paltry authors whose works and even their persons are under
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 403 
 
 the thumb of booksellers and players. Is it any wonder that writers 
 under such circumstances should be held cheap? But the good 
 ones, my friend, are on a better footing in the world, and I think it 
 may be affirmed, vanity apart, that my name is to be found iu their 
 list." " Undoubtedly," said I, "talents like, yours are convertible 
 to every purpose ; compositions from such a pen are not likely to be 
 insipid. But I am on the rack to know how this rage for fencing 
 with inky weapons could have seized you." 
 
 " Your wonder and alarm has mind in it," replied Nunez. " I 
 was so well pleased with my situation in the service of Signor 
 Emanuel Ordonnez, that I had no hankering after any other. But 
 my genius, like that of Plautus, being too high-minded to contract 
 itself wibhin the sphere of menial occupations, I wrote a play, and 
 got it acted by a company then performing at Valladolid. Though 
 it was not worth the paper it was scrawled upon, it had more suc- 
 cess than many better pieces. Hence I concluded that the public 
 was a silly bird, and would hatch any eggs that were put under it. 
 That modest discovery, with the consequent madness of incessant 
 composition, alienated my aifections from the hospital. The love 
 of poetry being stronger than the desire of accumulation, I deter- 
 mined on repairing to Madrid, as the centre of everything distin- 
 guished, to form my taste in that school. The first thing was to 
 give the governor warning, who parted with me to his own great 
 sorrow, from a sort of affection, the result of similar propensities. 
 'Fabricio,' said he, 'what possible ground can you have for dis- 
 content ?' ' None at all, sir,' I replied ; ' you are the best of all 
 possible masters, and I am deeply impressed with your kind treat- 
 ment ; but you know one must follow whithersoever the stars 
 ordain. I feel the sacred fire within me, on whose aspiring element 
 my name is to be wafted to posterity.' ' What confounded non- 
 sense !' rejoined the old fellow, whose ideas were all pecuniary. 
 ' You are already become a fixture in the hospital, and are made of 
 a metal which may be easily manufactured into a steward, or, by 
 good luck, even into a governor. You are going to give up the 
 great object of life, and to flutter about its frippery. So much the 
 worse for you, honest friend !' 
 
 " The governor, seeing how fruitless it was to struggle with my 
 fixed resolve, paid me my wages, and made me a present of fifty 
 ducats as an acknowledgment of my services. Thus, between this 
 supply and what I had been able to scrape together out of some 
 little commissions which were assigned to me from an opinion of 
 disinterestedness, I was in circumstances to make a very pretty 
 appearance on my arrival at Madrid, which I was not negligent iu 
 doing, though the literary tribe in our country are not over-puncti-
 
 404 ADYEXTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 lious about decency or cleanliness. I soon got acquainted with Lope 
 de Vega, Cervantes, and the whole set of them ; but though they 
 ^yere fine fellows, and thought so by the public, I chose for my 
 model, in preference, Don Lewis de Gongora, the incomparable, a 
 young bachelor of Cordova, decidedly the first genius that ever 
 Spain produced. He will not suffer his works to be printed during 
 his lifetime, but confines himself to a- private communication among 
 his friends. What is very remarkable, nature has gifted him with 
 the uncommon talent of succeeding in every department of poetry. 
 His principal excellence is in satire; there he outshines himself. He 
 does not resemble, like Lucilius, a muddy stream with a slimy 
 bottom, but is rather like the Tagus, rolling its transparent waters 
 over a golden sand." 
 
 " You give a fine description of this bachelor," said I to Fabricio ; 
 " and undoubtedly a character of such merit must have attracted an 
 infinite deal of envy." " The whole gang of authors," answered he, 
 "good and bad equally, are open-mouthed against him. 'He deals 
 in bombast,' says one ; ' aims at double meaning, luxuriates in meta- 
 phor, and affects transposition.' ' His verses,' says another, * have 
 all the obscurity of those which the Salian priests used to chant- in 
 their processions, and which nobody was the wiser for hearing.' 
 There are others who impute it to him as a fault to have exercised 
 his genius at one time in sonnets or ballads, at another in play- 
 writing, in heroic stanzas, and in minor efforts of wit alternately, as 
 if he had madly taken upon himself to eclipse the best writers each 
 in their own favorite walk. But all these thrusts of jealousy are 
 successfully parried, where the muse, which is their mark, becomes 
 the idol of the great and of the multitude at once. 
 
 " Under so able a master did I serve my apprenticeship ; and, 
 vanity apart, the preceptor was reflected in the disciple. So happily 
 did I catch his spirit, that by this time he would not be ashamed to 
 own some of my detached pieces. After his example, I carry my 
 goods to market at great houses, where the bidding is eager, and the 
 sagacity of the bidders not difficult to match. It is true that I have 
 a very insinuating talent at recitation, which places my compositions 
 in no disadvantageous light. In short, I am the dear delight of the 
 nobility, and live in the most particular intimacy with the Duke of 
 Medina Sidonia, just as Horace used to live with his jolly compan- 
 ion Maecenas. By such conjuration and mighty magic have I won 
 the name of author. You see the method lies within a narrow com- 
 pass. Now, Gil Bias, it is your turn to deliver a round unvarnished 
 tale of your exploits." 
 
 On this hint I spake ; and, unlike most narrators, gave all the im- 
 portant particulars, passing lightly over minute and tiresome cir-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 405 
 
 cumstances. The action of talking, long continued, puts one in 
 mind of dining. His ebony cabinet, which served for larder, pantry, 
 and all possible uses, was ransacked for napkins, bread, a shoulder 
 of mutton far gone in a decline, with its last and best contents, a 
 bottle of excellent wine ; so that we sat down to table in high spirits, 
 as friends are wont to do after a long separation. "You observe," 
 said he, " this free and independent manner of life. I might find a 
 plate laid for me every day, if I chose it, in the very first houses ; 
 but, besides that the muse often pays me a visit and detains me 
 within doors, I have a little of Aristippus in my nature. I can pass 
 with equal relish from the great and busy world to my retreat, from 
 all the resources of luxury to the simplicity of my own frugal 
 board.." 
 
 The wine was so good that we encroached upon a second bottle. 
 As a relish to our fruit and cheese, I begged to be favored with the 
 sight of something, the offspring of his inspired moments. He im- 
 mediately rummaged among his papers, and read me a sonnet with 
 much energy of tone. Yet, with all the advantage of accent and 
 expression, there was something so uncouth in the arrangement as 
 to baffle all conjecture about the meaning. He saw how it puzzled 
 me. *' This sonnet then," said he, "is not quite level to your com- 
 prehension ! Is not that the fact?" I owned that I should have 
 preferred a construction somewhat less forced. He began laughing 
 at my rusticity. " Well then," replied he, " we will say that this 
 sonnet would confuse clearer heads than thine ; it is all the better 
 for that. Sonnets, odes, in short, all compositions which partake of 
 the sublime, are of course the reverse of the simple and natural ; 
 they are enveloped in clouds, and their darkness constitutes their 
 grandeur. Let the poet only fancy that he understands himself, no 
 matter whether his readers understand him or not." " You are 
 laughing at me, my friend," said I, interrupting him. " Let poetry 
 be of what species it may, good sense and intelligible diction are 
 essential to its powers of pleasing. If your peerless Gongora is not 
 a little more lucid than yourself, I protest that his merit will never 
 pass current with me. Such poets may entrap their own age into 
 applause, but will never live beyond it. " Now let me have a taste of 
 vour prose." 
 
 Nunez showed me a preface which he meant to prefix to a dra- 
 matic miscellany then in the press. He insisted on having my 
 opinion. " I like not your prose one atom better than your verse," 
 said I. " Your sonnet is a roaring deluge of emptiness ; and as for 
 your preface, it is disfigured by a phraseology stolen from languages 
 yet in embryo, by words not stamped in the mint of general use, by 
 all the perplexity of a style that does not know what to make of
 
 406 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 itself. In a word, the composition is altogether a thing of your own. 
 Our classical and standard books are written in a very different 
 manner.'' " Poor tasteless wretch I" exclaimed Fabricio. " You 
 are not aware that every prose writer who aspires to the reputation 
 of sentiment and delicacy in these days, affects this style of his own, 
 these perplexities and innovations which are a stumbling-block to 
 you. There are five or six of us, determined reformers of our lan- 
 guage, who have undertaken to turn the Spanish idiom topsy-turvy ; 
 and with a blessing on our endeavors, we will pull it down and build 
 it up again, in defiance of Lope de Vega, Cervantes, and all the 
 host of wits who cavil at our new modes of speech. Our party is 
 strongly supported in the fashionable world, and we have laid 
 violent hands upon the pulpit. 
 
 "After all," continued he, "our project is commendable; for, to 
 speak without prejudice, we have ten times the merit of those nat- 
 ural writers, who express themselves just like the mob. I cannot 
 conceive why so many sensible men are taken with them. It was 
 all very well at Athens and at Rome, in a wild and undistinguishing 
 democracy ; and on that principle only could Socrates tell Alci- 
 biades that the last appeal was to the people in all disputes about 
 language. But at Madrid there is a polite and a vulgar usage, so 
 that our courtiers talk in a different tongue from their tradesmen. 
 You may assure yourself that it is so ; in fine, this newly-invented 
 style is carrying everything before it, and turning old nature out of 
 doors. Now I will explain to you by a single instance the difference 
 between the elegance of our diction and the flatness of theirs. They 
 would say, for example, in plain terms, ' Ballets incidental to the 
 piece are an ornament to a play ;' but in our mode of expression, we 
 say more exquisitely, ' Ballets incidental to the piece are the very 
 life and soul of the play.' Now observe that phrase, life and soul. 
 Are you sensible how glowing it is, at the same time how descrip- 
 tive, setting before you all the motions of the dancers, as on an in- 
 tellectual stage?" 
 
 I broke in upon my reformer of language with a burst of laugh- 
 ter. " Get along with you, Fabricio," said I ; " you are a coxcomb 
 of your own manufacture,' with your affected finery of phrase." 
 "And you," answered he, " you are a blockhead of nature's clumsy 
 moulding, with your starch simplicity." He then went on taunting 
 me with the Archbishop of Granada's angry banter on my dismis- 
 sion : " Get about your business ! Go and tell my treasurer to pay 
 you a hundred ducats, and take my blessing in addition to that sum. 
 God speed you, good master Gil Bias ! I heartily pray that you may 
 do well in the world ! There is nothing to stand in your way but a 
 little better taste." I roared out in a still louder explosion of
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 407 
 
 laughter at this lucky hit ; and Fabricio, easily appeased on the 
 score of impiety, as manifested in the opinion expressed concerning 
 his writings, lost nothing of his pleasant and propitious temper. 
 We got to the bottom of our second bottle, and then rose from the 
 table in fine order for an adventure. Our first intention was to see 
 what was to be seen upon the Prado ; but passing in front of a 
 liquor-shop, it came into our heads that we might as well go in. 
 
 The company was in general tolerably select at this house of call. 
 There were two distinct apartments, and the pastime in each was 
 of a very opposite nature. One was devoted to games of chance or 
 skill, the other to literary and scientific discussions; and there were 
 at that moment two clever men by profession handling an argument 
 most pertinaciously, before ten or twelve auditors deeply interested 
 in the discussion. There was no occasion to join the circle, because 
 the metaphysical thunder of their logic made itself heard at a more 
 respectful distance : the heat and passion with which this abstract 
 controversy was managed made the two philosophers look little bet- 
 ter than madmen A certain Eleazar used to cast out devils by tying 
 a ring to the nose of the possessed : had these learned swine been 
 ringed in the same manner, how many little imps would have taken 
 wing out of their nostrils ! "Angels and ministers of grace defend 
 us," said I to my companion ; " what contortions of gesture, what 
 extravagance of elocution ! One might as well argue with the town 
 crier. How little do we know our natural calling in society!" 
 " Very true indeed," answered he ; " you have read of Novius, the 
 Roman pawnbroker, whose lungs went as far beyond the rattle of 
 chariot wheels as his conscience beyond the rate of legal interest; 
 the Novii must certainly have been transplanted into Spain, and 
 these fellows are lineal descendants. But the hopeless part of the 
 case is, that though our organs of sense are deafened, our under- 
 standings are not invigorated at their expense." We thought it best 
 to make our escape from these braying metaphysicians, and by that 
 prudent motion to avoid a headache which was just beginning to 
 annoy us. We went and seated ourselves in a corner of the other 
 room, whence, as we sipped our refreshing beverage, all comers and 
 goers were obnoxious to our criticism. Nunez was acquainted with 
 almost the whole set. "Heaven and earth!" exclaimed he, "the 
 clash of philosophy is as yet but in its beginning ; fresh reinforce- 
 ments are coming in on both sides. Those three men, just on the 
 threshold, mean to let slip the dogs of war. But do you see those 
 two queer fellows going out? That little swarthy, leather-com- 
 plexioned Adonis, with long, lank hair, parted in the middle with 
 mathematical exactness, is Don Juliano de Villanuno. He is a 
 young barrister, with more of the prig than the lawyer about him.
 
 408 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 A party of us went to dine with him the other day. The occupation 
 we caught him in was singular enough. He was amusing himself 
 in his office with making a tall greyhound fetch and carry the briefs 
 in the causes which were so unfortunate as to have him retained ; 
 and of course the canine amicus curies set his fangs indifferently into 
 the flesh of plaintiff or defendant, tearing law, equity, precedent, 
 and principle into shreds. That licentiate at his elbow, with jolly, 
 pimple-spangled nose and cheeks, goes by the name of Don Cheru- 
 bino Tonto. He is a canon of Toledo, and the greatest fool that was 
 ever suffered to walk the earth without, a keeper. And yet he arrays 
 his features in that sort of not quite unmeaning smile, that you 
 would give him credit for good sense as well as good humor. His 
 eye has the look of cunning if not of wisdom, and his laugh too 
 much of sarcasm for an absolute idiot. One would conclude that he 
 had a turn for mischief, but kept it down from principle and feeling. 
 If you wish to take his opinion upon a work of genius, he will hear 
 it read with so grave and rapt a silence, as nothing but deep thought 
 and acute mental criticism could justify ; but the truth is, that he 
 comprehends not one word, and therefore can have nothing to say. 
 He was of the barrister party. There were a thousand good things 
 said, as there always must be in a professional company. Don Cher- 
 ubino added nothing to the mass of merriment, but looked such 
 perfect approbation at those who did, was so tractable and compli- 
 mentary a listener, that every man at table placed him second in 
 the comparative estimate of merit." 
 
 "Do you know," said I to Nunez, "who those two fellows are, 
 with dirty clothes and matted hair, their elbows on that table in the 
 corner, and their cheeks upon their hands, whining foul breath into 
 each other's nostrils as they lay their heads together?" He told 
 me that by their faces they were strangers to him ; but that by 
 physical and moral tokens they could only be coffee-house politi- 
 cians, venting their spleen against the measures of government. 
 " But do look at that spruce spark, whistling as he paces up and 
 down the other room, and balancing himself alternately on one toe 
 and on the other. That is Don Augustino Moreto, a young poet 
 sufficiently of nature's mint and coinage to pass current, if flatterers 
 and sciolists had not debased him into a mere coxcomb by their 
 misplaced admiration. The man to whom he is going up with that 
 familiar shake by the hand, is one of the set who write verses and 
 then call themselves poets ; who claim a speaking acquaintance with 
 the muses, but never were of their private parties." 
 
 "Authors upon authors, nothing but authors!" exclaimed he, 
 pointing out two dashing blades. "One would think they had 
 made an appointment on purpose to pass in review before you.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 409 
 
 Don Bernardo Deslenguado and Don Sebastian of Villa Viciosa ! 
 The first is a vinegar-flavored vintage of Parnassus, a satirist by 
 trade and company ; he hates all the world, and is not liked the 
 better for his taste. As for Don Sebastian, he is the milk and 
 honey of criticism ; he would not have the guilt of ill-nature on 
 his conscience for the universe. He has just brought out a comedy 
 without a single idea, which has succeeded with an audience of 
 tantamount ideas ; and he has just now published it to vindicate hia 
 innocence." 
 
 Gongora's candid pupil was running on in his career of benevo- 
 lent explanation, when one of the Duke de Medina Sidonia's house- 
 hold came up and said, " Signer Don Fabricio, my lord duke wishes 
 to speak with you. ' You will find him at home." Nunez, who 
 knew that the wishes of a great lord could not be too soon gratified, 
 left me without ceremony ; but he left me in the utmost consterna- 
 tion, to hear him called Don, and thus ennobled, in spite of Master 
 Chrysostom the barber's escutcheon, who had the honor to call him 
 father. 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 FABRICIO FINDS A SITUATION FOR GIL BLAS IN THE ESTABLISHMENT 
 OF COUNT GALIANO, A SICILIAN NOBLEMAN. 
 
 T WAS too happy in Fabricio's society not to hunt him out again 
 _L early the next morning. " Good-day to you, Signer Don Fab- 
 ricio," said I on my first approach ; " it seems you are the picked 
 and chosen flower, or rather, saving your presence, the nondescript' 
 excrescence of the Asturian nobility." This sarcasm had no other 
 effect than to set him laughing heartily. " Then the title of Don 
 was not lost upon you!" exclaimed he. "No, indeed, my noble 
 lord," answered I ; " and you will give me leave to tell you that 
 when you were recounting your transformations to me yesterday, 
 you forgot the most extraordinary." "Exactly so," replied he; 
 "but to speak sincerely, if I have taken up that prefix of dignity, 
 it is less to tickle my own vanity, than in tenderness to that of 
 others. You know what stuff the Spaniards are made of; an honest 
 man is no honest man to them, if his honor is not bolstered up with 
 escutcheons, pedigree, and patrimony. I may tell you, moreover, 
 that there are so many gentry, and very queer sort of gentry too, 
 dubbed Don Francisco, Don Pedro, Don What-do-you-call-him, or
 
 410 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 Don Devil, that if they owe their coats-of-arms to any herald but 
 their own impudence, modern nobility is a mere drug in the market, 
 so that a plebeian of nature's ennobling confers infinite honor on 
 the upstarts of an artificial creation, by herding with their order. 
 
 " But let us change the subject," added he. " Last night, supping 
 at the Duke de Medina Sidonia's, where, among other company, we 
 had Count Galiano, a great Sicilian nobleman, the conversation 
 turned upon the ridiculous effects of self-love. Delighted at having 
 a case in point by way of illustration, I treated them with the story 
 of the homilies. You may well suppose that there was a hearty 
 laugh, and that the archbishop's dignity was not saved in the con- 
 cussion ; but the effect was not amiss for you, since the company 
 felt for your situation ; and Count Galiano, after a long string of 
 questions, which of course I answered to your advantage, commis- 
 sioned me to introduce you. I was just now going to look after you 
 for that purpose. In all probability he means to offer you a situ- 
 ation as one of his secretaries. I advise you not to hang back. The 
 count is rich, and lives away at Madrid, on the scale of an ambas- 
 sador. He is said to have come to court on a negotiation with the 
 Duke of Lerma, respecting some crown lands which that minister 
 thinks of alienating in Sicily. In one word, Count Galiano, though 
 a Sicilian, has every feature of generosity, fuir dealing, and gentle- 
 manly conduct. You cannot do better than get upon that noble- 
 man's establishment. In all probability the flattering prophecy 
 respecting you at Granada is to be fulfilled in his person." 
 
 " It was my full determination," said I to Nunez, " to take my 
 swing about town and look at men and manners a little, before the 
 harness was buckled on my back again ; but you paint your Sicilian 
 nobleman in colors which fascinate my imagination and change my 
 purpose. I should like to close with him at once." " You will do 
 so very soon," replied he, " or I am much deceived." We sallied 
 forth together immediately, and went to the count's, who resided in 
 the house of his friend, Don Sancho d'Avila, the latter being then 
 in the country. 
 
 The court-yard was overrun with pages and footmen in rich and 
 elegant liveries, while the antechamber was blockaded by esquires, 
 gentlemen, and various officers of the household. They were all as 
 fine as possible, but with so whimsical an assortment of features, 
 that you might have taken them for a cluster of monkeys dressed up 
 to satirize the Spanish fashions. Do what you will, there is a 
 certain class of men and women in nature, whom no art can trick 
 out into anything human. 
 
 At the very name of Don Fabricio, a lane was formed for my 
 patron, and I followed in the rear. The count was in his dressing-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. " 411 
 
 gown, sitting on a sofa and taking his chocolate. We made our 
 obeisance in the most respectful manner; while an inclination of 
 the head on his part, accompanied with a condescending smile, won 
 my heart at once. It is very wonderful, and yet very common, how 
 the most trifling notice from the great penetrates the very soul of 
 those who are not accustomed to it I They must'have behaved like 
 fiends before their behavior will be complained of. 
 
 After taking his chocolate, he recreated himself with the humors 
 of a large ape, which underwent the name of Cupid : why the ape 
 was made a god, or the god likened to an ape, the parties concerned 
 can best answer ; the only point of resemblance seemed to be mis- 
 chief. At all events, this hairy brat of the sylvan Venus had so 
 gambolled himself into his master's good graces, had established 
 such a character for wit and humor, that the life of society was ex- 
 tinguished in his absence. As for Nunez and myself, though we 
 had a better turn for drollery, we were cunning enough to chime in 
 with the prevailing taste. The Sicilian was highly delighted with 
 this, and tore himself away for a mcment from his favorite pastime, 
 just to tell me, "My friend, you have only to say whether you 
 choose to be one of my secretaries. If the situation suits you, the 
 salary is two hundred pistoles a year. If Don Fabricio gives you 
 a character, that is enough." " Yes, my lord," cried Nunez, " I am 
 not such a cowardly fellow as Plato, who introduced one of his 
 friends to Dionysius the tyrant, and then was afraid to back his 
 own recommendation. But I have no anxiety about being re- 
 proached on that head." 
 
 I thanked the poet of the Asturias with a low bow, for having so 
 much better an opinion of me than Plato had of his friend. Then 
 addressing my patron, I assured him of my zeal and fidelity. No 
 sooner did this good nobleman perceive his proposal to be accept- 
 able, than he rang for his steward, and after talking to him apart, 
 said to me, " Gil Bias, I will explain the nature of your post here- 
 after. Meanwhile, you have only to follow that right hand man of 
 mine; he has his orders how to bestow you." I immediately 
 retreated, leaving Fabricio behind with the count and Cupid. 
 
 The steward, who came from Messina, and proved by all his 
 actions that he came thence, led the way to his own room, over- 
 whelming me all the while with the kindness of his reception. He 
 sent for the tailor who lived upon the skirts of the household, and 
 ordered him to make me out of hand a suit of equal magnificence 
 with those of the principal officers. The tailor took my measure 
 and withdrew. "As to lodging," said the native of Messina. "I 
 know a room which will just suit you. But stay ! Have you 
 breakfasted?" I answered in the negative. "0, poor shamefaced
 
 412 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 youth," replied he, "why did not you say so? Come this way: I 
 will introduce you where, thank Heaven, you have only to ask and 
 have." 
 
 So saying, he led me down into the buttery, where we found the 
 clerk of the kitchen, who was a Neapolitan, and of course a com- 
 plete match for his neighbor on the other side of the water. It 
 might be said of this pair that they were formed to meet by nature. 
 This honest clerk of the kitchen was doing justice to his trade by 
 cramming himself and five or six hangers-on with ham, tongue, 
 sausages, and other savory compositions, which, besides their own 
 relish, possess the merit of engendering thirst. We made common 
 cause with these jolly fellows, and helped them to toss of some of 
 my lord the count's best wines. While these things were going on 
 in the buttery, kindred exploits were performing in the kitchen. 
 The cook, too, was regaling three or four tradesmen of his ac- 
 quaintance, who liked good wine as well as ourselves, nor disdained 
 to stuff their craws with meat pasties and game : the very scullions 
 were at free quarters, and filched whatever they pleased. I fancied 
 myself in a house given up to plunder ; and yet what I saw was 
 comparatively fair and honest. These little festivities were laugh- 
 ing matters ; but the private transactions of the family were very 
 serious. 
 
 CHAPTEE XV. 
 
 THE EMPLOYMENT OP GIL BLAS IN DON GALIANO'S HOUSEHOLD. 
 
 I WENT away to fetch my movables to my new residence. On 
 my return, the count was at table with several noblemen and 
 the poet Nunez, who called about him as if perfectly at home, and 
 took a principai share in the conversation. Indeed, he never 
 opened his lips without applause. So much for wit ! With that 
 commodity at market, a man may pay his way in any company. 
 
 It was my lot to dine with the gentlemen of the household, who 
 were served nearly as well as their employer. After meal-time I 
 withdrew to ruminate on my lot. "So far so good, Gil Bias," said 
 I to myself; "here you are in the family of a Sicilian count, of 
 whose character you know nothing. To judge by appearances, you 
 will be as much in your element as a duck upon the water. But do 
 not make too sure ! You ought to look askew at your horoscope, 
 whose unkindly position you have too often experienced with a ven-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 413 
 
 geance. Independent of that, it is not easy to conjecture what he 
 means you to do. There are secretaries and a steward already: 
 where can your post be? In all likelihood you are intended to 
 manage his little private affairs. Well and good ! There is no 
 better luck about the house of a great nobleman, if you would travel 
 post haste to make your fortune. In the performance of more hon- 
 orable services, a man gets on only step by step, and even at that 
 pace often sticks by the way." 
 
 While these philosophical reflections were revolving in my mind, 
 a servant came to tell me that all the company was gone home, and 
 that my lord the count was inquiring for me. I flew immediately 
 to his apartment, where I found him lolling on the sofa, ready to 
 take his afternoon's nap, with his monkey by his side. 
 
 " Come nearer, Gil Bias," said he ; " take a chair, and hear me 
 attentively." I placed myself in an attitude gf profound listening, 
 when he addressed me as follows: " Don Fabricio has informed me 
 that, among other good qualities, you have that of sincere attach- 
 ment to your masters, and incorruptible integrity. These are my 
 inducements for proposing to take you into my service. I stand in 
 need of a friend in a domestic, to espouse my interests and apply 
 his whole heart and soul to the reform of my establishment. My 
 fortune is large, it must be confessed, but my expenditure far ex- 
 ceeds my income every year. And how happens that? Because 
 they rob, ransack, and devour me. I might as well be in a forest 
 infested by banditti, as an inhabitant of my own house. I suspect 
 the clerk of the kitchen and my steward of playing into one another's 
 hands ; and unless my thoughts are unjust as well as uncharitable, 
 they are pushing forward as fast as they can to ruin me beyond re- 
 demption. You will ask me what I have to do but send them pack- 
 ing if I think them scoundrels. But, then, where are others to be 
 got of a better breed ? It will be sufficient to place them under the 
 eye of a man who shall be invested with the right of control over 
 their conduct ; and you have I chosen to execute this commission. 
 If you discharge it well, be assured that your services will not be re- 
 paid with ingratitude. I shall take care to provide you with a very 
 comfortable settlement in Sicily." 
 
 With this he dismissed me, and that very evening, in the presence 
 of the whole household, I was proclaimed principal manager and 
 surveyor-general of the family. Our gentlemen of Messina and 
 Naples expressed no particular chagrin at first, because they consid- 
 ered me as a spark of mettle like their own, and took it for granted, 
 that though the loaf was to be shared with a third, there would 
 always be cut and come again for the triumvirate. But they looked 
 inexpressibly foolish the next day, when I declared myself in serious
 
 414 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 terms a decided enemy to all peculation and underhand dealing. 
 From the clerk of the kitchen I required the buttery accounts with- 
 out varnish or concealment. I went down into the cellar. The fur- 
 niture of the butler's pantry underwent a strict examination, par- 
 ticularly in the articles of plate and linen. Next I read them a 
 serious lecture on the duty of acting for their employer as they 
 would for themselves; exhorted them to adopt a system of economy in 
 their expenditure; and wound up my harangue with a protestation 
 that his lordship should be acquainted with the very first instance of 
 any unfair tricks that I should discover in the exercise of my office. 
 
 But I had not yet got to the length of my tether. There was still 
 wanting a scout to ascertain whether they had any private under- 
 standing. I fixed upon a scullion, who, won over by my promises, 
 told me that I could not have applied to a better person to be in- 
 formed of all that was passing in the family ; that the clerk of the 
 kitchen and the steward were one as good as the other, and 
 had agreed between them to burn the candle at both ends; that 
 half the provisions bought for the table were made perquisites by 
 these gentlemen ; that the Neapolitan kept a lady who lived opposite 
 St. Thomas's College, and his colleague, not to be outdone, provided 
 for another next door to the Sungate ; that these two nymphs had 
 their larder regularly supplied every morning, while the cook, fol- 
 lowing a good example, sent a few little nice things to a widow of 
 his acquaintance in the neighborhood ; but as he winked at the 
 table arrangements of his dear and confidential friends, it was but 
 fair that he should draw whenever he pleased upon the wine-cellar ; 
 in short, by the practice of these three blood-suckers, a most horrible 
 system of extravagance had found its way into my lord the count's 
 establishment. " If you doubt my veracity," added the scullion, 
 " only take the trouble of going to-morrow morning, about seven 
 o'clock, into the neighborhood of St. Thomas's College, and you 
 will see me with a load upon my back which will convert your sus- 
 picions into certainty." " Then you," said I, " are in the confi- 
 dence of these honest purveyors?" " I am factor to the clerk of 
 the kitchen," answered he; "and one of my comrades runs on 
 errands for the steward." 
 
 I had the curiosity the next day to loiter about St. Thomas's Col- 
 lege at the appointed hour. My informer was punctual to time and 
 place. He brought with him a large tray full of butcher's meat, 
 poultry, and game. I took an account of every article, and drew 
 out the bill of fare in my memorandum book, for the purpose of 
 showing it to my master, at the same time telling my little turnspit 
 to execute his commission as usual. 
 
 His Sicilian lordship, naturally warm in his temper, would have
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 415 
 
 turned his countryman and the Italian out of doors together, in the 
 first fury of his anger ; but after cooling upon it, he got rid of the 
 former only, and gave me his vacant place. Thus my office of super- 
 visor was suppressed very shortly after its creation ; nor did I re- 
 linquish it with any reluctance. To define it strictly and properly, 
 it was nothing better than that of a spy with a sounding title; there 
 was nothing substantial in the nature of the appointment : whereas, 
 to the stewardship was tied the key of the strong box, and with that 
 goes the mystery of the whole family. There are so many little per- 
 quisites, and so much patronage attached to that department of ad- 
 ministration, that a man must inevitably get rich, almost in spite of 
 his own honesty. 
 
 But our Neapolitan was not so easily to be driven from his strong- 
 holds. Observing to what a pitch of savage zeal I carried my in- 
 .tegrity, and that I was up every morning time enough to enter in 
 my books the exact quantity of meat that came from market, he 
 abandoned the practice of sending it off by wholesale ; yet the 
 plunderer did not therefore contract the scale of his demands on 
 the animal creation. He was cunning enough to make it as broad 
 as it was long, by arranging the services with so much the more 
 profusion. Thus, what was sent down again untouched being his 
 property by culinary common law, he had nothing to do but to pam- 
 per up his pet with victuals ready dressed, instead of giving her the 
 trouble of cooking for herself. The devil will levy his due out of 
 every transaction, so that the count was very little the better for his 
 paragon of a steward. The unbounded prodigality in our style of 
 setting out a table, even to a surfeiting degree, was a plain hint to 
 me of what was going forward : I therefore took upon myself to 
 retrench the superfluities of every course. This, however, was done 
 with so judicious a hand, that there was nothing like parsimony to 
 be discovered. No one would ever have missed what was taken 
 away; and yet the expense was reduced very considerably by a 
 well-regulated economy. That was just what my employer wanted 
 good housewifery, but a magnificent establishment. There was a 
 love of saving at the bottom, but a taste for grandeur was the osten- 
 sible passion. 
 
 Abuses seldom exist alone. The wine flowed too freely. If, for 
 instance, there were a dozen gentlemen at his lordship's table, the 
 consumption was seldom less than fifty bottles, sometimes sixty. 
 This was strange, and looked as if there was more in it than met the 
 lips of the guests. Hereupon I consulted my oracle of the scullery, 
 whence I derived most of my wisdom ; for he brought me a faithful 
 account of all that was said and done in the kitchen, where they had 
 not the least suspicion of him. It seemed that the havoc of which
 
 416 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 I complained proceeded from a new confederacy between the clerk 
 of the kitchen, the cook, and the under butler. The latter carried 
 off the bottles half full, and shared their contents with his allies. 
 I spoke to him on the subject, threatening to turn him and all the 
 footmen under him out of doors at a minute's warning, if ever they 
 did the like again. The hint was understood, and the evil remedied. 
 I took especial care lest the slightest of my services should be lost 
 upon my master, who overwhelmed me with commendations, and 
 took a greater liking to me every day. On my part, as a reward 
 to the scullion, he was promoted to the situation next under the 
 cook. 
 
 The Neapolitan was furious at encountering me in every direction. 
 The most aggravating circumstance of the whole was the overhaul- 
 ing of his accounts; for, to pare his nails the closer, I had gone into 
 the market, and informed myself of the prices. I followed him 
 through all his doublings, and always took off the market peony 
 which he wanted to add. He must have cursed me a hundred times 
 a day ; but the curses of the wicked fall in blessings on the good. 
 I wondered how he could stay in his place under such discipline ; 
 but probably something still stuck by the fingers. 
 
 Fabricio, whom I saw occasionally, rather blamed my conduct 
 than otherwise. " Heaven grant," said he, one day, " that all this 
 virtue may meet with its reward ! But between ourselves, you might 
 as well be a little more practicable with the clerk of the kitchen." 
 " What !" answered I, " shall this freebooter put a bold face upon 
 the matter, and charge a fish at ten pistoles in his bill which cost 
 only four ? and would you have me pass the articles in my accounts?" 
 " Why not?" replied he coolly. " He has only to let you go snacks 
 in the commission, and the books will be balanced in your favor by 
 the customary rule of stewardship arithmetic. Upon my word, my 
 friend, you are enough to overturn all regular systems of housekeep- 
 ing; and you are likely to end your days in a livery, if you let the 
 eel slip through your fingers without skinning it. You are to learn 
 that Fortune is a very woman, ready and eager to surrender, but ex- 
 pecting the formality of a summons." 
 
 I only laughed at this doctrine, and Nunez laughed at it too, 
 when he found that bad advice was thrown away upon an incorri- 
 gibly honest subject. He then wished to make me believe it was all 
 a mere joke. At all events, nothing could shake my resolution to 
 act for my employer as for myself. Indeed, my actions corre- 
 sponded with my words on that subject ; for I may venture to say 
 that in four months my master saved at least three thousand ducats 
 by my thrift.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 417 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 AN ACCIDENT HAPPENS TO THE COUNT DE GALIANO'S MONKEY. THE 
 ILLNESS OF GIL BLAS, AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. 
 
 AT the expiration of the before-mentioned time, the repose of 
 the family was marvellously troubled by an accident which 
 will appear but a trifle to the reader, and yet it was a very serious 
 matter to the household, especially to me. Cupid, the monkey of 
 whom I was speaking, that animal so much the idol of our lord and 
 master, attempting to leap from one window to another, performed 
 so ill as to fall into the court and put his leg out of joint. No sooner 
 were the fatal tidings carried to the count, than he sung a dirge 
 which pealed through all the neighborhood. In the extremity of 
 his sufferings, every inmate without exception was taken to task, and 
 we were all within an inch of being packed off about our business. 
 But the storm only rumbled, without falling ; he gave us and our 
 negligence to the devil, without being by any means select in the 
 terms of the bequest. The most notorious of the faculty in the line 
 of fractures and dislocations were sent for. They examined the poor 
 dear leg, set, and bound it up. But though they all gave it as their 
 opinion that there was no danger, my master could not be satisfied 
 without retaining the most eminent about the person of the animal, 
 till he could be pronounced to be in a state of convalescence. 
 
 It would be a manifest injustice to the family affections of his 
 Sicilian lordship not to commemorate all the agonizing sensations 
 of his soul during this period of painful suspense. Would it be 
 thought possible that this tender nurse did not stir from his 
 darling Cupid's bedside all the livelong day ? The bandages were 
 never altered or adjusted but in his presence, and he got up two or 
 three times in the night to inquire after his patient. The most pro- 
 voking part of the business was, that all the servants, and myself in 
 particular, were required to be eternally on the alert, to anticipate 
 the slightest wishes of this ridiculous baboon. In short, there was 
 no peace in the house till the cursed beast, having recovered from 
 the effects of its fall, got back again to his old tricks and whirli- 
 gigs. After this, shall we be mealy-mouthed about believing Sueto- 
 nius when he tells us that Caligula cared more for his horse than for 
 all the world besides, that he gave him more than the establishment 
 and attendance of a senator, and that he even wanted to make him 
 consul ? Our wise master stopped little short of the emperor in his 
 partiality to the monkey, and had serious thoughts of purchasing 
 for him the place of corregidor. 
 27
 
 418 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLA8. 
 
 Mine was the worst luck of any in the family, for I had so topped 
 my part above all the other servants, by way of paying my court to 
 his lordship, and had nursed poor dear Cupid with such assiduity, 
 as to throw myself into a fit of illness. A violent fever seized me, 
 so that I was almost at death's door. They did what they pleased 
 with me for a whole fortnight, without my consciousness ; for the 
 physicians and the fates were both conspiring against me. But my 
 youth was more than a match for the fever and the prescriptions 
 united. When I recovered my senses, the first use I made of them 
 was to observe myself removed to another room. I wanted to know 
 why, and asked an old woman who nursed me ; but she told me 
 that I must not talk, as the physician had expressly forbidden it. 
 When we are well, we turn up our noses at the doctors ; but when 
 we are sick, we are as much like old women as themselves. 
 
 It therefore seemed best to keep silence, though I had an invete- 
 rate longing to hold converse with my attendant. I was debating 
 the point in my own mind, when there came in two foppish-looking 
 fellows, dressed in the very extreme of fashion. Nothing less than 
 velvet would serve their turn, with linen and lace to correspond. 
 They looked like men of rank, and'l could have sworn that they 
 were some of my master's friends come to see me out of regard for 
 him. Under that impression, I attempted to sit up, and flung away 
 my nightcap to look genteel ; but the nurse forced me under the 
 bedclothes again, and tucked me up, at fhe same time announcing 
 these gentlemen as my physician and apothecary. 
 
 The doctor came up to my bedside, felt my pulse, looked in my 
 face, and discovering undeniable symptoms of approaching conva- 
 lescence, assumed an air of triumph, as if it was all his handiwork, 
 and said there was nothing wanting but to keep the bowels open, 
 and then he flattered himself he might boast of having performed 
 an extraordinary cure. Speaking after this manner, he dictated a 
 prescription to the apothecary, looking in the glass all the time, 
 adjusting the dress of his hair, and twisting his visage into shapes 
 which set me laughing in spite of my debility. At length he took 
 his leave, with a slight inclination of the head, and went his way, 
 more taken with the contemplation of his own pretty person than 
 anxious about the success of his remedies. 
 
 After his departure, the apothecary, not to have the trouble of a 
 visit for nothing, made ready to proceed as it is prescribed in cer- 
 tain cases. Whether he was afraid that the old woman's skill was 
 not equal to the exigency, or whether he meant to enhance his own 
 services by assiduity, he chose to operate in person ; but in spite of 
 practice and experience, accidents will happen. Haste to return 
 benefits, is ainpng the most amiable propensities of our nature; and 

 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 419 
 
 such was my eagerness not to be behindhand with my benefactor, 
 that his velvet dress bore immediate testimony to the profuseness of 
 my gratitude. This he considered merely as one of those little 
 occurrences which checker the fortunes of the pharmaceutical pro- 
 fession. A napkin is a resource for everything in a sick-room, and 
 least said was soonest mended ; so he wiped himself quietly, vowing 
 indemnity and vengeance to himself for the necessity under which 
 he unquestionably labored of sending his clothes to the scourer. 
 
 On the following morning he returned to the attack more 
 modestly equipped, though there was then no risk of my springing 
 a countermine, as he had only to administer the potion which the 
 doctor had prescribed the evening before. Besides that I felt my- 
 self getting better every moment, I had taken such a dislike since 
 the day before to the pill-dispensing tribe, as to curse the very 
 universities where these graduated cutthroats kept their exercises 
 in the faculty of slaying. In this temper of mind I declared, with a 
 round oath, that I would not accept of health through such a 
 medium, but would willingly make over Hippocrates and his myr- 
 midons to the devil. The apothecary, who did not care a doit what 
 became of his compound, if it was but paid for, left the vial on the 
 table, and stalked away in Telamonian silence. 
 
 I immediately ordered that bitch of a. medicine to be thrown out 
 of the window, having set myself so doggedly against it, that I 
 would as soon have swallowed arsenic. Having once drawn the 
 sword, I threw away the scabbard ; and erecting my tongue into an 
 independent potentate, told my nurse in a determined tone that 
 she must absolutely inform me what had become of my master. The 
 old lady, fearing lest the development of the mystery might com- 
 pletely overset me, or thinking possibly that her prey might escape 
 out of her clutches for want of a little irritating contradiction, was 
 most provokingly mute ; but I was so pressing in my demand to be 
 obeyed, that she at length gave me a decisive answer: "Worthy sir, 
 you have no longer any master but your own will. Count Galiano 
 is gone back into Sicily." 
 
 I could not believe my ears ; and yet it was fatally the fact. That 
 nobleman, on the second day of my indisposition, being afraid of 
 harboring death under the same roof with him, had the benevolence 
 to send me packing with my little effects to a ready-furnished room, 
 where providence was left to cure or a nurse to kill me, as it hap- 
 pened. While the alternative was tottering on the balance, he was 
 ordered back into Sicily, and in the headlong haste of his obedience, 
 never thought about me; whether it was that he numbered me 
 already among the dead, or that great lords, like great wits, have 
 short memories.
 
 420 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 My nurse gave me these particulars, and informed me that it was 
 she who had called in a physician and an apothecary, that I might 
 not die without professional honors. I fell into profound musing 
 at this fine story. Farewell niy brilliant establishment in Sicily ! 
 Farewell my budding hopes and blushing honors 1 "When any 
 great misfortune shall have befallen you," says a certain pope, 
 " look well to your own conduct, and yoil will find that there is 
 always something wrong at the bottom of it." With all reverent 
 submission to his holiness, I cannot help thinking myself in this 
 instance an exception to the infallibility of his maxim. How the 
 deuce was I to blame for being visited by a fever? There was more 
 reason for remorse in the monkey or his master than in me. 
 
 When I beheld the flattering chimeras with which my head was 
 filled all vanishing into air, into thin air, the first thing that wor- 
 ried my poor brain was my portmanteau, which I ordered to be laid 
 upon my bed to examine it. I groaned heavily on discovering that 
 it had been opened. "Alas! my dear portmanteau," exclaimed I, 
 " my only hope, consolation, and refuge ! You have been, to all 
 appearance, a prisoner in an enemy's country." " No, no, Signer 
 Gil Bias," said the old woman ; " make yourself easy on that head ; 
 you have not fallen among thieves. Your baggage is as immaculate 
 as my honor." 
 
 I found the dress I had on at my first entrance into the count's 
 service ; but it was in vain to look for that which my friend from 
 Messina had ordered for me as a member of the household. My 
 master had not thought fit to leave me in possession of it, or else 
 some one had made free with it. All my other little matters were 
 safe, and even a large leather purse with my coin in it, which I 
 counted over twice, not being able to believe at first that there 
 could be only fifty pistoles remaining out of two hundred and sixty, 
 which was the balance of the account before my illness. " What is 
 the meaning of all this, my good lady?" said I to the nurse. "Here 
 is a leak in the vessel." " No living soul but myself has touched a 
 farthing," answered the old woman, " and I have been as good an 
 economist for you as possible. But illness is very expensive ; one 
 must always have one's money in one's hand. Here !" added this 
 excellent economist, taking a bundle of papers out of her pocket, 
 " this is a statement of debtor and creditor, as exact as a banker's 
 book, and you will see that I have not laid out the veriest trifle in 
 need-note." 
 
 I ran over the account with a hasty glance ; for it extended to 
 fifteen or twenty pages. Mercy on us ! The poulterers' shops must 
 have been exhausted, while I was in too weak a state to take suste- 
 nance ! There must have been at least twelve pistoles stewed down
 
 ADVENTUJKES OF GIL BIAS. 421 
 
 into broths. Other articles were much to the same tune. It was 
 incredible what a sum had been lavished in firing, candles, water, 
 brooms, and innumerable articles of housekeeping and house-clean- 
 ing. After all, extortionate as the bill was, the utmost ingenuity 
 could not raise it above thirty pistoles, and consequently there was 
 a deficiency of a hundred and eighty to make the account even. I 
 just ventured to point that out; but the old woman, with a show 
 of simplicity and candor, put all the saints in the calendar into 
 requisition to attest that there were no more than eighty pistoles in 
 the purse when the count's steward gave her charge of the wallet. 
 " What say you, my good woman ?" interrupted I with precipita- 
 tion : " was it the steward who placed my effects in your hands ?" 
 " To be sure it was," answered she ; " the very man ; and with this 
 piece of advice: 'Here, good mother; when Gil Bias shall be num- 
 bered with the dead, do not fail to treat him with a handsome 
 funeral : there is in this wallet wherewithal to defray the expenses.' " 
 
 " Ah ! most pestiferous Neapolitan !" exclaimed I in the bitter- 
 ness of my heart. " I am no longer at a loss to conjecture what is 
 become of the deficiency. You have swept it off as an indemnity 
 for a part of the plunder which I have prevented you from making 
 free with." After relieving my mind by exclamations, I returned 
 thanks to Heaven that the scoundrel had been so modest as not to 
 take the whole. Yet whatever reason I had for believing the action 
 to be perfectly in character for the person to whom it was imputed, 
 the nurse had not altogether cleared herself from my suspicions. 
 They hovered sometimes over one and sometimes over the other ; 
 but let them light where they would, it was all the same to me. I 
 said nothing about the matter to the old woman ; not even so much 
 as to haggle about the items of her fine bill. I should not have 
 been an atom the richer for doing so ; and we must all live by our 
 trades. The utmost of my malice was to pay her and send her 
 packing three days afterwards. 
 
 I am inclined to think that at her departure she gave the apothe- 
 cary notice of her quitting the premises, and having left me 
 sufficiently in possession of myself to take French leave without 
 acknowledging my obligations to him ; for she had not been gone 
 many minutes before he came in puffing and blowing, with his bill 
 in his hand. There, under names which had escaped my conscrip- 
 tion, though as arrant a physician as the worst of them, he had set 
 down all the hypothetical remedies which he insisted that I had 
 taken during the time when I could take nothing. This bill might 
 truly be called the epitome of an apothecary's conscience. Such 
 being the case, we had a bustle about the payment. I pleaded for 
 an abatement of one half He swore that he would not take a doit
 
 422 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 less than his just demand. He kept his oath, and yet relaxed; for 
 considering that he had to do with a young man who might run 
 away from Madrid within four-and-twenty hours, he preferred my 
 offer of three hundred per eent. on the prime cost of his drugs, 
 though a pitiful profit for an apothecary, to the risk of losing all. 
 I counted out the money with an aching heart, and he withdrew, 
 chuckling over his revenge for the scurvy trick I had played him 
 on the day of evacuation. 
 
 The physician made his appearance next ; for beasts of prey in- 
 habit the same latitudes. I paid him for his visits, which had been 
 quite as frequent as necessary, and his object was answered. But he 
 would not leave me without proving how hardly he had earned his 
 money, for that he had not only expelled the enemy from the in- 
 terior, but had defended the frontiers from the attack of all the dis- 
 orders on the army list of the materia medica. He talked very 
 learnedly, with good emphasis and discretion ; so much so, that 1 
 did not comprehend one word he said. When I had got rid of him, 
 I flattered myself that the destinies had now done their worst. But 
 I was mistaken ; for there came a surgeon whose face I had never 
 seen in the whole course of my life. He accosted me very politely, 
 and congratulated me on the imminent danger from which I had 
 escaped, attributing the happy issue of my complaints to those 
 which he had himself cut, with the profuse application of bleeding, 
 cupping, blistering, and all sorts of torments, consequent and in- 
 consequent Another feather out of my poor wing ! I was obliged 
 to pay toll to the surgeon also. After so many purgatives, my 
 purse was brought to such a state of debility that it might be 
 considered as dead and gone a mere skeleton, drained of all ita 
 vital juices 
 
 My spirits began to flag on the contemplation of my wretched 
 case. In the service of my last two masters I had wedded myself 
 to the pomps and vanities of this wicked world, and could no 
 longer, as heretofore, look poverty in the face with the sternness of 
 a cynic. It must be owned, however, that I was in the wrong to 
 give way to melancholy, after experiencing so often that fortune 
 had never cast me down but for the purpose of raising me up 
 again ; so that my pitiful plight at the present moment, if rightly 
 considered, was only to be hailed as the harbinger of approaching 
 prosperity.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 423 
 
 BOOK VIII. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 *IL BLAS SCRAPES AN ACQUAINTANCE OF SOME VALUE. DON YALERIO 
 DE LUNA'S STORY. 
 
 ~T~T seemed so strange to have heard not a syllable from Nunez 
 I during this long interval, that I concluded he must be in the 
 country. I went to look after him as soon as I could walk, and 
 found the fact to be that he had gone into Andalusia three weeks 
 ago, with the Duke of Medina Sidonia. 
 
 One morning, when rubbing my eyes after a sound sleep, Mel- 
 chior de la Konda started into my recollection ; and that bringing 
 to mind my promise, at Granada, of going to see his nephew, if ever 
 I should return to Madrid, it seemed advisable not to defer fulfilling 
 my promise for a single day. I inquired where Don Balthazar de 
 Zunigna lived, and went thither straightway. On asking if Signer 
 Joseph Navarro was at home, he made his appearance immediately. 
 We exchanged bows with a well-bred coolness on his part, though 
 I had taken care to announce my name audibly. There was no re- 
 conciling such a frosty reception with the glowing portrait ascribed 
 to this paragon of the buttery. I was just going to withdraw in the 
 full determination of not coming again, when, assuming all at once 
 an open and smiling aspect, he said, with considerable earnestness, 
 "Ah I Signer Gil Bias de Santillane, pray forgive the formality of 
 your welcome. My memory ill seconded the warmth of my dispo- 
 sition towards you. Your name had escaped me, and was not at 
 the moment identified with the gentleman of whom mention was 
 made in a letter from Granada more than four months ago. 
 
 " How happy I am to see you !" added he, shaking hands with 
 :me most cordially. " My uncle Melchior, whom I love and honor 
 like my natural father, charges me, if by chance I should have the 
 honor of seeing you, to entertain you as his own son, and in case of 
 need, to stretch my own credit and that of my friends to the utmost 
 in your behalf. He extols the qualities of your heart and mind in 
 terms sufficient of themselves to engage me in your service, though 
 his recommendation had not been added to the other motives. Con- 
 sider me, therefore, I entreat you, as participating in all my uncle's 
 sentiments. You may depend on my friendship ; let me hope for 
 an equal share in yours."
 
 424 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 I replied to Joseph's polite assurances in suitable terms of ac- 
 knowledgment ; so that, being both of us warm-hearted and sincere, 
 a close intimacy sprung up without waiting for common forms. I 
 felt no embarrassment about laying open the state of my affairs. 
 This I had no sooner done than he said, " I take upon myself the 
 care of finding you a situation ; meanwhile, there is a knife and 
 fork for you here every day. You will live rather better than at an 
 ordinary." This offer was sure to be well relished by an invalid just 
 recovering, with a fastidious palate and an empty pocket. It could 
 not but be accepted ; and I picked up my crumbs so fast that at the 
 end of a fortnight I began to look like a rosy-gilled son of the 
 church. It struck me that Melchior's nephew larded his lean sides 
 to some purpose. But how could it be otherwise? he had three 
 strings to his bow, as holding the undermentioned pluralities: the 
 butler's place, the clerkship of the kitchen, and the stewardship. 
 Furthermore, without meaning to question my friend's honesty, they 
 do say that the comptroller of the household and he- looked over 
 each other's hands. 
 
 My recovery was entirely confirmed, when my friend Joseph, on 
 my coming in to dinner as usual one day, said, with an air of con- 
 gratulation, "j3iguor Gil Bias, I have a very tolerable situation ill 
 view for you. You must know that the Duke of Lerma, first min- 
 ister of the crown of Spain, giving himself up entirely to state 
 affairs, throws the burden of his own on two confidential persons. 
 Don Diego de Monteser takes the charge of collecting his rents, and 
 Don Rodrigo de Calderona superintends the finances of his house- 
 hold^ These two officers are paramount in their departments, hav- 
 ing nothing to do with one another. Don Diego has generally two 
 deputies to transact the business ; and finding just now that one of 
 them had been discharged, I have been canvassing for you. Signer 
 Monteser, having the greatest possible regard for me, granted my 
 request at once, on the strength of my testimony to your morals and 
 capacity. We will pay our respects to him after dinner." 
 
 We did not miss our appointment. I was received with every 
 mark of favor, and promoted in the room of the dismissed deputy. 
 My business consisted in visiting the farms, in giving orders for the 
 necessary repairs, in dunning the farmers, and keeping them to time 
 in their payments ; in a word, the tenants were all under my thumb, 
 and Don Diego checked my accounts every month with a minuteness 
 which few receivers could have borne. But this was exactly what I 
 wanted. Though my uprightness had been so ill requited by my 
 late master, it was my only inheritance, and I was determined not 
 to sell the reversion. 
 
 One ' n ay news came that the castle of Lerma had taken fire, and
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 425 
 
 was more than half burned down. I immediately went thither to 
 estimate the loss. Informing myself to a nicety, and on the spot, 
 respecting all the particulars of the unlucky accident, I drew up a 
 detailed narrative, which Monteser showed to the Duke of Lerma. 
 That minister, though vexed at the circumstance, was sfruck with 
 the memorial, and inquired who was the author. Don Diego thought 
 it not enough to answer the question, but spoke of me in such high 
 terms that his excellency recollected it six months afterwards, on 
 occasion of an incident I shall now relate, had it not been for 
 which I might never, perhaps, have been employed at court. It 
 was as follows : 
 
 There lived at that time, in Princes street, an elderly lady, by 
 name Inesilla de Cantarilla. Her birth was a matter of mystery. 
 Some said she -was the daughter of a musical instrument maker, 
 and others gave her a high military extraction. However that 
 might be, she was a very extraordinary personage. Nature had 
 gifted her with the singular talent of winning men's hearts, in defi- 
 ance of time, and in contradiction to her own laws; for she was 
 now entering upon the fourth quarter of her century. She had been 
 the reigning toast of the old court, and levied tribute on the pas- 
 sions of the new. Age, though at daggers drawn with beauty, was 
 completely foiled in its assault upon her charms ; they might be 
 somewhat faded, but the touch of sympathy they excited in their 
 decline was more pleasing than the vivid glow of their meridian 
 lustre. An air of dignity, a transporting wit and humor, an unbor- 
 rowed grace in her deportment, perpetuated the reign of passion, 
 and silenced the suggestions of reason. 
 
 Don Valerio de Luna, one of the Duke of Lerma's secretaries, a 
 young fellow of five-and-twenty, meeting with Inesilla, fell violently 
 in love with her. He made his sentiments known, enacted all the 
 mummery of despair, and followed up the usual catastrophe of 
 every amorous drama so much according to the unities and rules 
 that it was difficult, in the torrent and whirlwind of his passion, to 
 beget a temperance that might give it smoothness. The lady, who 
 had her reason for not choosing to fall in with his humor, was at 
 a loss how to get out of the difficulty. One day she was in hopes to 
 have found the means by calling the young man into her closet, and 
 there pointing to a clock upon the table. " Mark the precise hour," 
 said she ; "just seventy-five years ago was I brought upon the stage 
 of this fantastical world. In good earnest, would it sit well upon my 
 time of life to be engaged in affairs of gallantry? Betake yourself 
 to reflection, my good child ; stifle sentiments so unsuitable to your 
 own circumstances and mine." Sensible as this language was, the 
 spark, no longer bowing to the authority of reason, answered the
 
 426 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 lady with all the impetuosity of a man racked by the most excruci- 
 ating torments. " Cruel Inesilla," said he, " why have you recourse 
 to such frivolous remonstrances? Do you think you can change 
 your charms, or my desires ? Delude not yourself with so false a 
 hope. As long as your loveliness or my delusion lasts, I shall never 
 cease to adore you." " Well, then," rejoined she, " since you are 
 obstinate enough to persist in the resolution of wearying me with 
 your importunities, my doors shall henceforth be shut against you. 
 You are banished, and I beg to be no longer troubled with your 
 company." 
 
 It may be supposed, perhaps, that after this Don Valerio, baffled, 
 made good his retreat, like a prudent general. Quite the reverse ! 
 He became more troublesome than ever. Love is to lovers just what 
 wine is to drunkards. The swain entreated, sighed, looked, and 
 sighed again, when all at once, changing his note from childish 
 treble to the big, manly voice of bluster and ravishment, he swore 
 that he would have by foul means what he could not obtain by fair. 
 But the lady, repulsing him courageously, said, with a piercing 
 look of strong resentment, " Hold, imprudent wretch ! I shall put a 
 curb on your mad career. Learn that you are my own son." 
 
 Don Valerio was thunderstruck with these words ; the tempest of 
 his rage subsided. But, conjecturing that Inesilla had only started 
 this device to rid herself of his solicitations, he answered, " That is 
 a mere romance of the moment to steal away from my ardent de- 
 sires." " No, no," said she, interrupting him ; " I disclose a mys- 
 tery which should have been forever buried, had you not reduced 
 me to so painful a necessity. It is six-and-twenty years since I was 
 in love with your father, Don Pedro de Luna, then governor of 
 Segovia ; you were the fruit of our mutual passion ; he owned you, 
 brought you up with care and tenderness, and having no children 
 born in wedlock, he had nothing to hinder him from distinguishing 
 your good qualities by the gifts of fortune. On my part, I have not 
 forsaken you. As soon as you were of an age to be introduced into 
 the world, I drew you into the circle of my acquaintance, to form 
 your manners to that polish of good company so necessary for a 
 gentleman, which is only to be gained in female society. I have done 
 more : I have employed all my credit to introduce you to the prime 
 minister. In short, I have interested myself for you as I should 
 have done for my own son. After this confession, take your meas- 
 ures accordingly. If you can purge your affections from their dross, 
 and look on me as a mother, you are not banished from my pres- 
 ence, and I shall treat you with my accustomed tenderness. But if 
 you are not equal to an effort which nature and reason demand from 
 you, fly instantly, and release me from the horror of beholding you."
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 427 
 
 Inesilla spoke to this effect. Meanwhile Don Valerio preserved a 
 sullen silence;, it might have been interpreted into a virtuous 
 struggle a conquest over the weakness of his heart. But his pur^ 
 poses were far different ; he had another scene to act before his 
 mother. Unable to withstand the total overthrow of all his wild 
 projects, he basely yielded to despair. Drawing his sword, he 
 plunged it in his own bosom. His fate resembled that of CEdipus, 
 with this distinction, that the Theban put out his own eyes from 
 remorse for the crime he had perpetrated, while the Castilian, on 
 the contrary, committed suicide from disappointment at the frustra- 
 tion of his purposes. 
 
 The unhappy Don Valerio was not released from his sufferings 
 immediately. He had leisure left for recollection, and for making 
 his peace with Heaven, before he rusBed into the presence of his 
 Maker. As his death vacated one of the secretaryships on the Duke 
 of Lerma's establishment, that minister, not having forgotten my 
 memoir on the subject of the fire, nor the high character he had 
 heard of me, nominated me to succeed to the post in question. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 V 
 
 GIL BLAS IS INTRODUCED TO THE DUKE OF LEEMA, WHO ADMITS HIM 
 AMONG THE NUMBER OF HIS SECRETARIES. 
 
 "A yf^ONTESER was the person to inform me of this agreeable 
 iVl circumstance, which he did in the following terms : " My 
 friend Gil Bias, though I do not lose you without regret, I am too 
 much your well-wisher not to be delighted at your promotion in the 
 room of Don Valerio. You cannot fail to make a princely fortune, 
 provided you act upon two hints which I have to give you; the 
 first, to affect so total a devotion to his excellency's good pleasure 
 as to leave no room to conceive it possible that you have any other 
 object or interest in life ; the second, to pay your court assiduously 
 to Signer Don Rodrigo de Calderona, for that personage models and 
 remodels, fashions and touches upon the mind of his master, just as 
 if it was clay under the hands of the designer. If you are fortunate 
 enough to chime in with that favorite secretary, you will travel post 
 to wealth and honor, and find relays upon the road." 
 
 " Sir," said I to Don Diego, returning him thanks at the same time 
 for his good advice, " be pleased to give some little opening to Don
 
 428 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 Rodrigo's character. I have heard a few anecdotes of him. One 
 would suppose him, from some accounts, not to be the best creature 
 in the world ; but the people at large are inveterate caricaturists 
 when they draw courtiers at fuil length ; though, after all, the like- 
 ness will strike, in spite of the aggravation. Tell me therefore, I 
 beseech you, what is your own sincere opinion of Signor Calderona." 
 "That is rather an awkward question," answered my principal, with 
 an ironical smile. " I should tell any one but yourself, without 
 flinching, that he was a gentleman of the strictest honor; upon whose 
 fair fame the breath of calumny had never dared to blow ; but I 
 really cannot put off such a copy of my countenance upon you. Re- 
 lying as I do on your discretion, it becomes a duty to deal candidly 
 in the delineation of Don Rodrigo ; for without that, it would be 
 playing fast and loose with you to recommend the cultivation of his 
 good will. 
 
 " You are to know, then, that when his excellency was no more 
 than plain Don Francisco de Sandoval, this man had the humility 
 to serve him as his lackey ; since which time he has risen by degrees 
 to the post of principal secretary. A prouder excrescence of the dung- 
 hill never sprung into vegetation on a summer's day. He considers 
 himself as the Duke of Lerma's colleague , and in point of fact, he 
 may truly be said to parcel out the loaves and fishes of administra- 
 tion, since he gives away offices and governments at the suggestions 
 of his own caprice. The public grumbles and growls upon occasion ; 
 but who cares for the grumbling and growling of the public ? Let 
 him steal a pair of gloves from the prostitution of political honor, 
 and the bronze upon his forehead will be proof against the peltings 
 of scandal. What I have said will decide your dealings toward so 
 supercilious a compound of dust and ashes." " Yes, to be sure," said 
 I ; " leave me alone for that. It will be strange indeed if I cannot 
 wriggle myself into his good graces. If one can but get on the blind 
 side of a man who is to be made a property, it must be want of skill 
 in the player if the game is lost." " Exactly so," replied Monteser ; 
 " and now I will introduce you to the Duke of Lerma." 
 
 We went at once to the minister, whom we found in his audience- 
 chamber. His levee was more crowded than the king's. There were 
 commanders and knights of St. James and of Calatrava, making 
 interest for governments and viceroyalties ; bishops, who, laboring 
 under oppression of the breath and tightness of the chest in their 
 own dioceses, had been recommended the air of an archbishopric by 
 their physicians, while the sounder lungs of lower dignitaries were 
 strong enough to inhale the Theban atmosphere of a suffragan see. 
 I observed, besides, some reduced officers dancing attendance to 
 Captain Chinchilla's tune, and catching cold in fishing for a pension
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 429 
 
 which was never likely to pay the doctor for their cure. If the duke 
 did not satisfy their wants, he put a pleasant face upon their impor- 
 tunities ; and it struck me that he returned a civil answer to all ap- 
 plicants. 
 
 We waited patiently till the routine of ceremony was despatched. 
 Then said Don Diego, " My lord, this is Gil Bias de Santillane, the 
 young man appointed by your excellency to succeed Don Valeric." 
 The duke now took more particular notice of me, saying obligingly, 
 that I had already earned my promotion by my services. He then 
 took me to a private conference in his closet, or rather to an exami- 
 nation. My birth, parentage, and course of life-were the objects of 
 his inquiry ; nor would he be satisfied without the particulars, and 
 those in the spirit of sincerity. What a career to run over before a 
 patron ! Yet it was impossible to lie in the presence of a prime min- 
 ister. On the other hand, my vanity was concerned in suppressing 
 so many circumstances, that there was no venturing on an unquali- 
 fied confession. What cunning scene had Eoscius then to act ! A 
 little painting and tattooing might decently be employed, to dis- 
 guise the nakedness of Truth, and spare her unsophisticated blushes. 
 But he had studied her complexion, as well as the beauties of her 
 natural form. "Monsieur de Santillane," said he with a smile on 
 the close of my narrative, " I perceive that hitherto you have had 
 your principles to choose." " My lord," answered I, coloring up 
 to the eyes, " your excellency enjoined me to deal sincerely, and 
 I have complied with your orders." " I take your doing so in good 
 part," replied he. " It is all very well, my good fellow : you have 
 escaped from the snares of this wicked world more by luck than 
 management : it is wonderful that bad example should not have cor- 
 rupted you irreparably. There are many men of strict virtue and 
 exemplary piety who would have turned out the greatest rogues in 
 existence if their destinies had exposed them to but half your 
 trials. 
 
 " Friend Santillane," continued the minister, " ponder no longer 
 on the past ; consider yourself, as to the very bone and marrow, the 
 king's ; live henceforth but for his service. Come this way ; I will 
 instruct you in the nature of your business." He carried me into a 
 little closet adjoining his own, which contained a score of thick folio 
 registers. " This is your workshop," said he. "All these registers 
 compose an alphabetical peerage, giving the heraldry and history 
 of all the nobility and gentry in the several kingdoms and princi- 
 palities of the Spanish monarchy. In these volumes are recorded 
 the services rendered to the state by the present possessors and their 
 ancestors, descending even to the personal animosities and ren- 
 counters of the individuals and their houses. Their fortunes, their
 
 430 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 manners, in a word, all the pros and cons of their character, are set 
 down according to the letter of ministerial scrutiny, so that they no 
 sooner enter on the list of court candidates, than my eye catches up 
 the very chapter and verse of their pretensions. To furnish this 
 necessary information, I have pensioned scouts 'every where on the 
 lookout, who send me private notices of their discoveries ; but as 
 these documents are for the most part drawn up in a gossiping and 
 provincial style, they require to be translated into gentlemanly lan- 
 guage, or the king would not be able to support the perusal of 
 the registers. The task demands the pen of a polite and perspic- 
 uous writer; I doubt not but you will justify your claim to the 
 appointment." 
 
 After this introduction, he put a memorial into my hand, taken 
 from a large portfolio full of papers, and then withdrew from my 
 closet, that my first specimen might be manufactured in all the 
 freedom of solitude. I read the memorial, which was not only 
 stuffed with a most uncouth jargon, but breathed a brimstone spirit 
 of rancor and personal revenge. This was most foul, strange, and 
 unnatural ! for the homily was written by a monk. He hacked and 
 hewed a Catalan family of some note most unmercifully ; with what 
 reason or truth, it must be reserved for a more penetrating inquirer 
 to decide. It read, for all the world, like an infamous libel, and I 
 had some scruples about becoming the publisher of the calumny ; 
 nevertheless, young as I was at court, I plunged headforemost, at 
 the risk of sinking and destroying his reverence's soul. The wick- 
 edness, if there was any, would be put down to his running account 
 with the recording angel ; I therefore had nothing to do but to vil- 
 ify, in the present Spanish phraseology, some two or three genera- 
 tions of honest men and loyal subjects. 
 
 I had already blackened four or five pages, when the duke, impa- 
 tient to know how I got on, came back and said, " Santillane, show 
 me what you have done ; I am curious to see it." At the same time, 
 casting his eye over the transcript, he read the beginning with much 
 attention. It seemed to please him ; strange that he could be so 
 pleased ! " Prepossessed as I have been in your favor," observed 
 he, " I must own that you have surpassed my expectations. It is 
 not merely the elegance and distinctness of the handwriting : there 
 is something animated and glowing in the composition. You will 
 do ample credit to my choice, and fully make up for the loss of your 
 predecessor." He would not have cut my panegyric so short, if his 
 nephew, the Count de Lemos, had not interrupted him in the middle 
 of it. By the warmth and frequency of his excellency's welcome, it 
 was evident that they were the best friends in the world. They were 
 immediately closeted together on some family business, of which I
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 431 
 
 shall speak in the sequel. The king's affairs at this time were 
 obliged to play second to those of the minister. 
 
 While they were caballing it struck twelve. As I knew that the 
 secretaries and their clerks quitted office at that hour to go and dine 
 wherever their business and desire should point them, I left my 
 prize performance behind me, and went to the gayest tavern at the 
 court end of the town, for I had nothing further to do with Mon- 
 teser, who had paid my salary and taken his leave of me. But a 
 common eating-house would have been a very improper place for 
 me to be seen in. " Consider yourself, as to the very bone and 
 marrow, the king's." This metaphorical expression of the duke 
 had given birth to a real and tangible ambition in my soul, which 
 put forth shoots like a plantation in a fat and unvexed soil. 
 
 CHAPTEE III. 
 
 ALL 18 NOT GOLD THAT GLITTERS. SOME UNEASINESS EESTJLTING FROM 
 THE DISCOVERY OF THAT PRINCIPLE IN PHILOSOPHY. 
 
 I TOOK especial care, on my first entrance, to instill into the 
 tavern-keeper's conception that I was secretary to the prime 
 minister ; nor was it easy, in that view of my rank and consequence, 
 to order anything sufficiently sumptuous for dinner. To have 
 selected from the bill of fare might have looked as if I descended 
 to the meanness of calculation ; I therefore told him to send up the 
 best the house afforded. My orders were punctually obeyed ; and 
 the anxious assiduity of the attendants pampered my fancy as much 
 as the dishes did my palate. As to the bill, I had nothing to do 
 with it but to pay it. Down went a pistole upon the table, and the 
 waiters pocketed the difference, which was somewhat more than a 
 quarter. After this display of grandeur I strutted out, practicing 
 those obstreperous clearings of the throat which announce, by empty 
 sound, the approach of a substantial coxcomb. 
 
 There was at the distance of twenty yards a large house with 
 lodgings to let, principally frequented by foreign nobility. I rented 
 at once a suite of apartments, consisting of five or six rooms 
 elegantly furnished. From my style of living, any one would have 
 thought I had two or three thousand ducats of yearly income. The 
 first month was paid in advance. Afterwards I returned to busi- 
 ness, and employed the whole afternoon in going on with what I
 
 432 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 had begun in the morning. In a closet adjoining mine there were 
 two other secretaries ; but their office was only to copy out fair. I 
 got acquainted with them as we were shutting up for the evening, 
 and, by way of smoothing the first overtures towards friendship, 
 invited them home with me to my tavern, where I ordered the 
 choicest delicacies of the season, with a profusion of the most ex- 
 quisite wines. 
 
 We sat down to table, and began bandying about more merriment 
 than wit ; for with all due deference to my guests, it was but too 
 visible that they owed their official situations to any circumstance 
 rather than to their abilities. They were adepts, it must be con- 
 fessed, in all the history and mystery of scrivening and clerkship ; 
 but as for polite literature and university education, there was not 
 even a suspicion of it in all their talk. 
 
 To make amends for that defect, they had a keen eye to the main 
 chance; and though sensible how high an honor it was to be on the 
 prime minister's establishment, there were some dashes of acid in 
 the cup of good fortune. " It is now full five months," said one of 
 them, "that we have been serving at our own cost. We do not 
 touch one farthing of salary; and, what is worst of all, our very 
 board wages are shamefully in arrear. There is no knowing what 
 footing we are upon." " As for me," said the other, " I would will- 
 ingly be tied up to the halbert, and receive a percentage in lashes, 
 for the liberty of changing my berth ; but I dare not either take 
 myself off or petition for my discharge, after having transcribed 
 such state secrets as have passed under my inspection. I might 
 chance to become too well acquainted with the tower of Segovia or 
 the castle of Alicaut." 
 
 "How do you manage for a subsistence, then ?" said I. "You 
 must of course have means of your own." These they represented 
 as very slender ; but that, fortunately for them, they lodged with a 
 kind-hearted widow, who boarded them on tick, at the rate of a 
 hundred pistoles a year- for each. These anecdotes of a court life, 
 not one of which escaped me, completely ventilated all the rising 
 fumes of pride. It could not be supposed that more consideration 
 would be shown to me than to others, and consequently there was 
 nothing to be so puffed up with in my post ; there seemed to be 
 much cry and little wool a discovery which rendered it expedient 
 to husband my finances with a narrower economy. A picture like 
 this was enough to cure my taste for treating. I repented not 
 having left these secretaries to find their own supper, for they 
 played a most cruel knife and fork at mine ; and, when the bill was 
 brought, I squabbled with the landlord about the charges. 
 
 We parted at midnight ; and the early breaking up was to be laid
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 433 
 
 at my door ; for I did not propose another bottle. They went home 
 to their widow, and I withdrew to my magnificent lodgings, which 
 I was now mad with myself for having taken, and was fully deter- 
 mined to give up at the month's end. My bed of down was now 
 converted into a couch of thorns ; Sleep had abandoned his narcotic 
 tenement, and sold the fee-simple of my repose to the demon of 
 eternal wakefulness. The remainder of the night was passed in 
 contriving not to serve the state too patriotically. For that pur- 
 pose I bethought me of Monteser's good counsel. I got up with 
 the intention of making my bow to Don Eodrigo de Calderona. 
 My present temper was just pat to the purpose of ingratiating my- 
 self with so high and mighty a gentleman, whose patronage was 
 indispensable to my existence. I therefore presented my person in 
 that secretary's antechamber. 
 
 His apartments communicated with the duke's, and rivalled them 
 in the lustre of their decorations. The field officer could scarcely 
 be distinguished from the subaltern by any outward distinction in 
 his paraphernalia. I sent in my name as Don Valerie's successor ; 
 but that did not hinder me from being kept kicking my heels for a 
 good hour. " Trusty but novice officer of the king," said I, while 
 ruminating on court manners, " learn a lesson of patience, if so 
 please you. You must begin with showing paces yourself, and 
 afterwards make others bite the bridle." 
 
 At length the door of the inner room opened. I went in, and 
 advanced towards Don Rodrigo, who had just been writing an 
 amorous epistle to his charming Siren, and was giving it to Pedrillo 
 at that very moment. I had never manufactured my face and air 
 into such a counterfeit of reverence before the Archbishop of 
 Granada, nor on my introduction to the Count de Galiano, nor 
 even in presence of the prime minister himself: the crisis of my 
 fawning was reserved for Signor de Calderona. I paid my respects 
 to him with my body bent down to the very ground, as if crouching 
 under the ken of a superior intelligence, and solicited his protection 
 in strains of humble hypocrisy, at which my cheek now burns with 
 shame, to think that man can so debase himself before his fellow- 
 man. My servility would have recoiled to my own undoing, had 
 it been practiced towards a compound of any manly and independ- 
 ent ingredients. As for this fellow, he swallowed flattery by the 
 lump without mastication, and assured me, just as if he meant 
 what he said, that he would leave no stone unturned to do me 
 service. 
 
 Hereupon, thanking him with unlimited expressions of attach- 
 ment for his kind and generous sentiments, I sold my very soul, 
 and all my little stock of conscience, to his free disposal. But as 
 28
 
 434 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 this farce might be tiresome if prolonged, I took my leave, apolo- 
 gizing for having broken in upon his more serious avocations. As 
 soon as I had finished this abominable scene, I slunk back to my 
 desk, where I finished my prescribed task. The duke was at my 
 elbow the next morning. The end of my performance was not less 
 to his mind than the beginning ; and he praised it accordingly : 
 "This is extremely well indeed! Copy this abridgment in your 
 best hand into the register of Catalonia. You shall not want em- 
 ployment of this kind." I had a very long conversation with his 
 excellency, and was delighted at his mild and familiar deportment. 
 What a contrast to Calderona ! They might have sat to a painter 
 for Pan and Apollo. 
 
 To-day I dined at a cheap ordinary, and sunk the secretary upon 
 my messmates, till I should ascertain what solid profit might accrue 
 from all my bows and scrapes I had funds for three months, or 
 thereabouts. That interval I allowed myself for casting my bread 
 upon the waters. But as the shortest speculations are the safest, if 
 my salary was not paid by that time, a long farewell to the court, its 
 frippery, and its falsehood ! Thus were my plans arranged. For 
 two months I labored hard and fast to stand well with Calderona ; 
 but his senses were so callous to all my assiduity, that it seemed 
 labor in vain to build on so hopeless a foundation. This idea pro- 
 duced a change in my conduct. I left some greener fool to fumigate 
 the nostrils of this idol, and placed all my own dependence on 
 making my ground sure with the duke, by the benefit of our frequent 
 conferences. 
 
 CHAPTEE IV. 
 
 OIL BLAS BECOMES A FAVORITE WITH THE DUKE OF LERMA, AND THE 
 CONFIDANT OF AN IMPORTANT SECEET. 
 
 f I CHOUGH his grace's interviews with me were short as the fleet- 
 _L ing visions of supernatural communication, my turn and char- 
 acter won its way gradually into his excellency's good liking. One 
 day after dinner, he said, " Attend to me, Gil Bias. I really like you 
 very much. You are a zealous, confidential lad, full of understand- 
 ing and discretion. My trust cannot be misplaced in such hands." 
 I threw myself at his feet at these words, and kissing his hand, 
 answered thus : " Is it possible that your excellency can think so 
 favorably of your servant ? What a host of enemies will such a pre-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 43ft 
 
 ference conjure up against me ! But Don Eodrigo is the only man 
 whose privy grudge is formidable enough to alarm me." 
 
 " You have nothing to fear from that quarter," replied the duke. 
 " I know Calderona. He has loved me from his cradle. Every 
 movement of his heart is in unison with mine. He cherishes what- 
 ever I love, and hates in exact proportion to my dislike. So far 
 fram being alarmed at his ill will, you ought, on the contrary, to 
 hug yourself on his peculiar partiality." This let me at once into 
 the abysses of Don Rodrigo's character. He shuffled and cut the 
 cards to his own deal, and paid his debts of honor out of his excel- 
 lency's pool. One could not be too wary with this gentleman. 
 
 " To begin," pursued the duke, " with a proof of my thorough re- 
 liance on your faith, I will open to you a long-projected design. It 
 is necessary for you to be informed of it, to qualify you for the com- 
 missions with which I shall hereafter have occasion to intrust you. 
 For a great length of time have I beheld my authority universally re- 
 spected, my decisions implicitly adopted, places, pensions, govern- 
 ments, viceroyalties, and church preferments, all awaiting my dis- 
 posal. Without umbrage to my royal master, I may be said to be 
 absolute in Spain. My individual fortunes can be pushed no higher. 
 But I would willingly fix firm the structure I have raised, for the 
 storms are already beginning to beat about the citadel of my peace. 
 My only safety must consist in nominating my nephew, the Count 
 de Lemos, as my successor in the ministry." 
 
 This profound courtier, observing my astonishment, went on thus : 
 "I see plainly, Santillane, I see plainly what surprises you. It 
 seems strange and unaccountable that I should prefer my nephew to 
 my own son, the Duke d'Uzeda. But you are to learn that this last 
 has too narrow a genius to fill up my place in politics ; and there 
 are other reasons why I set my face against him. He has found out 
 the secret of making himself agreeable to the king, who wants him 
 for his interior cabinet; and back stairs influence is what I cannot 
 bear. Eoyal favor is a sort of political mistress ; exclusive posses- 
 sion is its only charm. The very existence of the passion is identi- 
 fied with inextinguishable jealousy ; nor can we the better endure 
 to share the bliss because our rival has been nursed in our own 
 bosom. 
 
 "Thus do I lay bare the very recesses of my soul. I have already 
 tried to ruin the Duke d'Uzeda with the king ; but having failed, 
 am pointing my artillery towards another object. I am determined 
 that the Count de Lemos shall stand first with the Prince of Spain. 
 Being gentleman of his bed-chamber, he has opportunities of talking 
 with him continually; and, besides that he has a winning manner 
 with him, I know a sure method of enabling him to succeed in his
 
 436 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 enterprise. By this device my nephew will be pitted against my 
 son. The cousins, harboring unfavorable suspicions of each other, 
 will both be forced to place themselves under my protection ; and 
 the necessity of the case will render them submissive to my will. 
 This is my project ; nor will your assistance be of slender avail to 
 its success. It is you whom I shall make the private channel of 
 communication between the Count de Lemos and myself." 
 
 After this confidence, which sounded, for all the world, like the 
 clink of current coin, my mind was easy about the future. " At 
 length," said I, " behold me taking shelter under Plutus' gutter ; 
 the golden shower may drench me to the skin before I shall cry, 
 Hold, enough 1 It is impossible that the bosom friend of a man by 
 whom the whole music of the political machine is tempered should 
 be left to thrum upon the discord of poverty." Full of these har- 
 monious visions, my fifths and octaves were but little untuned by 
 the sensible declension of my purse. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE JOYS, THE HONOES, AND THE MISERIES OF A COTTKT LIFE, IN 
 THE PERSON OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 r I THE minister's growing partiality towards me was soon noticed. 
 _L He displayed it ostentatiously, by committing his portfolio to 
 my custody, which it was his habit to carry in his own hand when 
 he went to council. This novelty causing me to be looked upon as 
 a rising favorite, excited the envy of certain persons, so that I was 
 preciously sprinkled with the hellish dew of court malevolence. My 
 two neighbors the secretaries were not the last to compliment me on 
 my budding honors, and invited me to supper at the widow's, not so 
 much by way of returning my hospitality, as with an eye to business 
 in the cultivation of my acquaintance. Parties were made for me 
 everywhere. Even the haughty Don Rodrigo was cap-in-hand to 
 me. He now called me nothing less than Signer de Santillane, 
 though the moon had scarcely changed her face since he thee'd and 
 thou'd me, without ever bethinking him that he was talking to 
 something above a pauper. He heaped me up and pressed me down 
 with civilities, especially within eyeshot of our common patron. 
 But the fool was wiser than to be caught with chaff. The good- 
 breeding of my returns was nicely proportioned to my thorough
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 437 
 
 detestation of my humble servant ; a rascal who had lived in court 
 all his life could not have played the rascal better than I did. 
 
 I likewise accompanied my lord duke when he had an audience 
 of the king, which was usually three times a day. In the morning 
 he went into his majesty's chamber as soon as he was awake. There 
 he dropped down on his marrow-bones by the bedside, talked over 
 what was to be done in the course of the day, and put into the royal 
 mouth the speeches the royal tongue was to make. He then with- 
 drew. After dinner he came back again, not for state affairs, but 
 for what, what? and a little gossip. He was well instructed in all 
 the tittle-tattle of Madrid, which was sold to him at the earliest of 
 the season. Lastly, in the evening he saw the king again for the 
 third time, put whatever color he pleased on the transactions of the 
 day, and, as a matter of course, requested his instructions for the 
 morrow. While he was with the king, I kept in the antechamber, 
 where people of the first quality, sinking that they might rise, threw 
 themselves in the way of my observation, and thought the day not 
 lost if I had deigned to exchange a few words of common civility 
 with them. Was it to be wondered at if my self-importance fattened 
 upon such food ? There are many folks at court who stalk about on 
 stilts of much frailer materials. 
 
 One day my vanity was still more highly pampered. The king, 
 to whom the duke had puffed off my style, was curious to see a sam- 
 ple of it. His excellency made me bring the register of Catalonia 
 and myself into the royal presence, telling me to read the first 
 memorial I had digested. If so catholic a critic overpowered my 
 modesty at first, the minister's encouragement recalled my scattered 
 spirits, and I read with good tone and emphasis what his majesty 
 deigned to hear with some symptoms of approbation. He spoke 
 handsomely of my performance, and recommended my fortunes to 
 the especial care of his minister. My humility was not the greater 
 for the augmentation of my consequence, and a particular conversa- 
 tion some days afterwards with the Count de Lemos swelled high 
 the springtide of all my ambitious anticipations. 
 
 I waited on that nobleman from his uncle at the Prince of Spain's 
 court, and presented credentials from the duke, directing him to 
 deal unreservedly with me, as with a man who was embarked in 
 their design, and selected by himself exclusively as their go- 
 between. The count then took me to a room, where he locked the 
 door, and then spoke as follows : " Since you are confidential with 
 the Duke of Lerma, I doubt not you deserve to be so, and shall un- 
 bosom myself to you without hesitation. You are to know that 
 matters go on just as we could wish. The Prince of Spain distin- 
 guishes me above the most assiduous of his courtiers. I had a pri-
 
 438 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 vate conversation with him this morning, wherein he expressed 
 Borne disgust at being restrained by the king's avarice from follow- 
 ing the inclinations of his liberal heart, and living on a scale befit- 
 ting his august rank. On this head I chimed in with his regrets, 
 and, taking advantage of the opportunity, promised to carry him a 
 thousand pistoles early to-morrow morning, as an earnest of larger 
 sums with which I have engaged to feed his necessities forthwith. 
 He was in ecstasy at my promises, and I am certain of securing hi 
 grace and favor in tail, if I can but fulfill my engagement. Acquaint 
 my uncle with these particulars, and come back in the evening with 
 hie sentiments on the subject." 
 
 I left the Count de Lemos with the last words still quivering on 
 his lips, and went back to the Duke of Lerma, who, on my report, 
 sent to ask Calderona for a thousand pistoles, which he charged me 
 to carry to the count in the evening. Away went I on my errand, 
 muttering to myself, " So, so, now I have discovered the minister's 
 infallible receipt for the cure of all evils. Faith and troth, he is in 
 the right, and to all appearance he may draw as copiously as he 
 pleases from the spring, without exhausting the source. I can easily 
 guess what bag these pistoles come from ; but, after all, is it not the 
 order of nature that the parent should nurture and maintain the 
 child ?" The Count de Lemos, at our parting, said to me, in a low 
 voice, " Farewell, my good and worthy friend. The Prince of Spain 
 has a little hankering after the women ; we must have a little con- 
 rersation on that subject one of these days ; I foresee that your 
 agency will be very applicable on that head." I returned with my 
 head full of this last hint, which it was impossible to misinterpret. 
 Neither did I wish to do so, for it suited my talents to a nicety. 
 " What the devil is to happen next?" said I. "Behold me on the 
 point of becoming pimp to the heir of the monarchy." Whether 
 pimping was a virtue or a vice, I did not stop to inquire ; the 
 coarse surtout of morality would have worn but shabbily while the 
 passions of so exalted a gallant were in the glare and glow of all 
 their newest gloss. What a promotion for me, to be the provider of 
 pleasure to a great prince ! " Fair and softly, Master Gil Bias," 
 some one may say ; " after all, you will be but second minister." 
 May be so ; but at the bottom the honor of both these posts is 
 equal ; the difference lies in the profit only. 
 
 While executing these honorable commissions, and getting for- 
 ward daily in the good graces of the prime minister, what a happy 
 being should I have been, if statesmen were born with a set of in- 
 testines to turn the chameleon's diet into chyle ! It was more than 
 two months since I had got rid of my grand lodging, and had taken 
 up my quarters in a little room scarcely good enough for a banker's
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 439 
 
 clerk. Though this was not quite as it should be, yet since I went 
 out betimes in the morning, and never returned at night before bed- 
 time, there was not much to quarrel about on that score. All day I 
 was the hero of my own stage, or rather of the duke's. It was a prin- 
 cipal part that I was playing. But when I retired from this brilliant 
 theatre to my own cockloft, the great lord vanished, and poor Gil 
 Bias was left behind, without a royal image in his pocket, and, what 
 was worse, without the means of conjuring up his glorious resem- 
 blance. Besides that it would have wounded my pride to have 
 divulged my necessities, there was not a creature of my acquaint- 
 ance who could have assisted me but Navarro ; and him I had too 
 palpably neglected, since my introduction at court, to venture on 
 soliciting his benevolence. I had been obliged to sell my wardrobe 
 article by article. There was nothing more left than was absolutely 
 necessary to make a decent appearance. I no longer went to the 
 ordinary, because I had no longer wherewithal to pay my score. 
 How, then, did I make shift to keep body and soul together ? There 
 was every morning, in our offices, a scanty breakfast set out, con- 
 sisting of a little bread and wine ; this was the whole of our com- 
 mons on the minister's establishment. I never knew what it was to 
 exceed this stint during the day, and at night I most frequently went 
 supperless to bed. 
 
 Such was the fare of a man who made a splendid figure at court ; 
 but his illustrious fortunes, like those of other courtiers, were more 
 a subject of pity than of grudge. I could no longer resist the pres- 
 sure of my circumstances, and ultimately resolved on their disclosure 
 at a seasonable opportunity. By good luck such an occasion offered 
 at the Escurial, whither the king and the Prince of Spain re- 
 moved some days afterwards. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 GIL BLAS GIVES THE DUKE OF LEBMA A HINT OF HIS CONDITION. 
 THAT MINISTER DEALS WITH HIM ACCOEDINGLY. 
 
 WHEN the king kept his court at the Escurial, all the world 
 was at free quarters: under such easy circumstances I did 
 not feel where the saddle galled. My bed was in a wardrobe near 
 the duke's chamber. One morning that minister, having got up, 
 according to his cursed custom, at daybreak, made me take my
 
 440 AD VENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 writing apparatus and follow him into the palace gardens. We 
 went and sat down under an avenue of trees ; myself, as he would 
 have it, in the posture of a man writing on the crown of his hat; his 
 attitude was with a paper in his hand, and any one would have 
 supposed he hah heen reading. At some distance, we must have 
 looked as if the scale of Europe was to turn upon our decision ; 
 but between ourselves, who partook of it, the talk was miserably 
 
 trifling. 
 
 For more than an hour had I been tickling his excellency's fancy 
 with all the conceits engendered by a merry nature and an eccentric 
 course of life, when two magpies perched on the trees above us. 
 Their clack and clatter was so obstreperous as to force our atten- 
 tion, whether we would or no. *' These birds," said the duke, " seem 
 to be in dudgeon with one another. I should like to learn the cause 
 of their quarrel." " My lord," said I, " your curiosity reminds me 
 of an Indian story in Pilpay, or some other fabulist." The min- 
 ister insisted on the particulars, and I related them in the following 
 terms : 
 
 There reigned in Persia a good monarch, who, not being blessed 
 with capacities of sufficient compass to govern his dominions in hia 
 own person, left the care of them to his grand vizier. That minister, 
 whose name was Atalmuc, was possessed of first-rate talents. He 
 supported the weight of that unwieldy monarchy without sinking 
 under the burden. He preserved it in profound peace. His art 
 consisted in uniting the love of the royal authority with the rever- 
 ence of it ; while the people at large looked up to the vizier as to an 
 affectionate father, though a devoted servant of his prince. Atalmuc 
 had a young Cachemirian among his secretaries, by name Zeangir, 
 to whom he was particularly attached. He took pleasure in his con- 
 versation, invited him frequently to the chase, and opened to him 
 his most secret thoughts. One day. as they were hunting together 
 in a wood, the vizier, at the croaking of two ravens on a tree, said to 
 his secretary, " I should like to know what those birds are talking 
 about in their jargon." " My lord," answered the Cachemirian, 
 " your wishes may be fulfilled." " Indeed ! How so?" replied Atal- 
 muc. "Because," rejoined Zeangir, "a dervis, read in many mys- 
 teries, has taught me the language of birds. If you wish it, I will 
 lay my ear close to these, and will repeat to you, word for word, 
 whatever they may happen to say." 
 
 The vizier agreed to the proposal. The Cachemirian got near the 
 ravens, and affected to suck in their discourse. Then, returning to 
 his master, "My lord," said he, "would you believe it? We are 
 ourselves the topic of their talk." " Impossible !" exclaimed the 
 Persian minister. " Prithee now, what do they say of us ?" " One
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 441 
 
 of the two," replied the secretary, " spoke thus : ' Here he is, the 
 very man ; the grand vizier, Atalmuc, the guardian eagle of Persia, 
 hovering over her like the parent bird over its nest, watching with- 
 out intermission for the safety of its brood. For the purpose of 
 unbending from his wearisome toils, he is hunting in this wood with 
 his faithful Zeangir. How happy must that secretary be to serve 
 so partial and indulgent a master !' ' Fair and softly,' observed the 
 other raven shrewdly, ' fair and softly ! Make not too much parade 
 about that Cachemirian's happiness. Atalmuc, it is true, talks and 
 jokes familiarly with him, honors him with his confidence, and may 
 very possibly intend to signalize his friendship by a lucrative post ; 
 but between the cup and the lip Zeangir may perish with thirst. 
 The poor devil lodges in a ready-furnished apartment, where there 
 is not an article of furniture for his use. In a word, he leads a 
 starving life, with all the paraphernalia of a plump-fed courtier. 
 The grand vizier never troubles his head about inquiring into the 
 right or wrong of his affairs, but, satisfied with empty good wishes 
 towards him, leaves his favorite within the ruthless gripe of pov- 
 erty.' " 
 
 I stopped here to see how the Duke of Lerma would take it ; and 
 he asked me, with a smile, what effect the fable had produced on 
 the mind of Atalmuc, and whether the grand vizier had not felt a 
 little offended at his secretary's presumption. " No, my noble lord," 
 answered I, with some little embarrassment at the question ; " his- 
 torians say that his ingenuity was amply rewarded." "He was more 
 lucky than discreet," replied the duke, with a serious air ; " there 
 are some ministers who would esteem it no joke to be lectured at 
 that rate. But the king will not be long before he is getting up ; 
 my duty demands my attendance." After this hint he walked off 
 with hasty strides towards the palace, without throwing away a 
 word more upon me, and to all appearance in high dudgeon at my 
 Indian parable. 
 
 I followed him up to the very door of his majesty's chamber, and 
 went thence to arrange my papers in the places whence they had 
 been taken. Then I entered a closet where our two copying secre- 
 taries were at work ; for they also were of the migratory party. 
 " What is the matter with you, Signor de Santillane ?" said they at 
 the sight of me. " You are quite down in the mouth ! Has any- 
 thing untoward happened ?" 
 
 I was too much mortified at the ill success of my narrative to be 
 cautious in the expression of my grief. On the recital of what had 
 passed with the duke, they sympathized in my disappointment. 
 "You have some reason- to fret," said one of them. "Heaven grant 
 that you may be better treated than a secretary of Cardinal Spinosa.
 
 442 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 The unlucky secretary, tired of working for fifteen months without 
 pay, took the liberty of representing his necessities to his eminence 
 one afternoon, and of asking for a little money towards his subsist- 
 ence. ' It is very proper,' said the minister, ' that you should be 
 paid. Here,' pursued he, putting into his hands an order on the 
 royal treasury for a thousand ducats ; ' go and receive that sum ; 
 but take notice at the same time that it balances accounts between 
 us.' The secretary would have pocketed his thousand ducats with- 
 out remorse had the thousand ducats been tangible, and the liberty 
 of changing service secure ; but just as he stepped down from the 
 cardinal's threshold, he was tapped on the shoulder by an alguazil, 
 and carried away to the tower of Segovia, where he has been a pris- 
 oner for a length of time." 
 
 This little historical anecdote set my teeth chattering. All was 
 lost and gone I There was no comfort from within nor from with- 
 out ! My own impatience had been my ruin ! just as if I had not 
 borne starving till patience could avail no longer. "Alas !" said I, 
 "wherefore must I have blurted out that ill-starred fable, which 
 went so much against the grain of the minister ? He might have 
 been just on the point of extricating me from all my miseries ; it 
 might have been the moment of that tide in the affairs of men which 
 sets in for sudden and enormous elevation. What wealth, what 
 honors have slipped through the fingers by my blunder ! I ought 
 to have been aware that great folks do not love to be forestalled, 
 but require the common privileges of elementary subsistence to be 
 received as favors at their hands. It would have been more prudent 
 to have kept my lenten entertainment longer without bothering the 
 duke about it, and even to have died with hunger, that he might be 
 blamed for letting me." 
 
 Supposing any hope to have remained, my master, when I saw 
 him after dinner, put an extinguisher over it at once. He was very 
 serious with me, contrary to his usual custom, and spoke scarcely at 
 all an omen of dire dismay for the remainder of the evening. The 
 night did not pass more tranquilly ; the chagrin of seeing my 
 agreeable illusions vanish, and the fear of swelling the calendar of 
 state prisoners, left no room but for sighs and lamentations. 
 
 The following was the critical day. The duke sent for me in the 
 morning. I went into his chamber, with the ague fit of a criminal 
 before his judge. " Santillane," said he, showing me a paper in his 
 hand, " take this order." ... I shuddered at the word order, and 
 said within myself, " O heaven ! here is the Cardinal Spinosa over 
 again ; the carriage is ordered out for Segovia." Such was my 
 alarm at this moment, that I interrupted the minister, and throwing 
 myself at his feet, " May it please your lordship," said I, bathed in
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 443 
 
 tears, " I most humbly beseech your excellency to forgive me for my 
 boldness; necessity alone impelled me to acquaint you with my 
 wretched circumstances." 
 
 The duke could not help laughing at my distress. " Be comforted, 
 Gil Bias," answered he, " and hearken attentively. Though by be- 
 traying your necessities a reproach lights upon me for not having 
 prevented them, I do not take it ill, my friend. I rather ought to 
 be angry with myself for not having inquired how you were going 
 on. But to begin making amends for my want of attention, there 
 is an order on the royal treasury for fifteen hundred ducats, payable 
 at sight. This is not all ; I promise you the same sum annually ; 
 and moreover, when people of rank and substance shall solicit 
 your interest, I have no objection to your addressing me on their 
 behalf." 
 
 In the excess of joy occasioned by such tidings, I kissed the feet 
 of the minister, who, having commanded me to rise, continued in 
 familiar conversation. I endeavored to rally my free and easy 
 humor ; but the transition from sorrow to rapture was too instanta- 
 neous to be natural. I felt as comical as a culprit, with a pardon 
 singing in his ears, just when he was on the point of being launched 
 into eternity. My master attributed all my flurry to the sole dread 
 of having offended him ; though the fear of perpetual imprisonment 
 had its share of influence on my nerves. He owned that he had 
 affected to look cool, to see whether I should be hurt at the altera- 
 tion ; that thereby he formed his opinion with respect to the liveli- 
 ness of my attachment to his person, and that his own regard for 
 me would always be proportionate. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 A GOOD USE MADE OF THE FIFTEEN HUNDRED DTTCAT8. FIRST INTRO- 
 DUCTION TO THE TRADE OF OFFICE. 
 
 E king, as if on purpose to play into the hands of my impa- 
 _L tience, returned to Madrid the very next day. I flew like a 
 harpy to the royal treasury, where they paid me down upon the 
 nail the sum drawn for in my order. Ambition and vanity now 
 obtained complete empire over my soul. My paltry lodging was 
 fit only for secretaries of an inferior cast, unpracticed in the myste- 
 rious language of birds ; for which reason, my grand suite of apart-
 
 444 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 ments fortunately being vacant, I engaged them for the second 
 time. My next business was to send for an eminent tailor, who 
 arrayed the pretty persons of all the fine gentlemen in town. He 
 took my measure, and then introduced me to a draper, who sold me 
 five ells of cloth, the exact quantity, as he said, to make a suit for 
 a man of my size. Five ells for a light Spanish dress ! Whither 
 did this draper and tailor expect to go? . . . But we must not be 
 uncharitable. Tailors who have a reputation to support require 
 more materials for the exercise of their genius than the vulgar 
 snippers of the shopboard. I then bought some linen, of which I 
 was very bare, an assortment of silk stockings, and a laced hat. 
 
 With such an equipage, there was no doing without a footman; 
 so that I desired Vincent Ferrero, my landlord, to look out for one. 
 Most of the foreigners who were recommended to his lodgings, on 
 their arrival at Madrid, were wont to hire Spanish servanst ; and 
 this was the means of turning his house into a register office. The 
 first who offered was a lad of so mortified and devotional an aspect 
 that I would have nothing to say to him ; he put me in mind of 
 Ambrose de Lamela. " I am quite out of conceit," said I to Fer- 
 rero, " with these pious coat-brushers ; I have been taken in by 
 them already." 
 
 I had scarcely turned virtue in a livery out of doors, when another 
 came up stairs. This seemed to be a good sprightly fellow, with as 
 little mock modesty as if he had been bred at court, and a certain 
 something about him which indicated that he did not carry, prin- 
 ciple to any dangerous excess. He was just to my mind. His 
 answers to my questions were pat and to the purpose : he evinced a 
 talent for intrigue beyond my most sanguine hopes. This was ex- 
 actly the subject for my purpose ; so I fixed him at once. Neither 
 had I any reason to repent of my bargain ; for it was very soon evi- 
 dent that farther off I must have fared worse. As the duke had 
 allowed me to solicit on behalf of my friends, and it was my design 
 to push that permission to the utmost, a stanch hound* was neces- 
 sary to put up the game ; or, in phrase familiar to dull capacities, 
 an active chap, with a turn for routing out and bringing to my 
 market all palm-tickling petitioners for the loaves and fishes of the 
 prime minister. This was just where Scipio shone most (for my 
 servant's name was Scipio). He had lived last with Donna Anna 
 de Guevara, the Prince of Spain's nurse, where he had ample scope 
 for the exercise of that accomplishment. 
 
 As soon as he became acquainted with my credit at court, and the 
 use to which I meant to put it, he took the field like his great ances- 
 tors, and began the campaign without the loss of a day. " Master," 
 said he, " a young gentleman of Granada is just come to Madrid ;
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 445 
 
 his name is Don Roger de Rada. He has been engaged in an affair 
 of honor which compels him to throw himself on the Duke of 
 Lerma's protection, and he is well disposed to come down hand- 
 somely for any grace and favor he may obtain. I have talked with 
 him on the subject. He had a mind to have made friends with Don 
 Rodrigo de Calderona, whose influence had been represented to him 
 in magnificent terms ; but I dissuaded him, by pointing out that 
 secretary's method of selling his good offices for more than their 
 weight in gold ; whereas, on the contrary, you would be satisfied 
 with any decent expression of gratitude for yours, and would even 
 do the business for the mere pleasure of doing it, if you were in 
 circumstances to follow the bent of your own generous and disin- 
 terested temper. In short, I talked to him in such a strain, that 
 you will see the gentleman early to-morrow morning." " How is 
 all this, Master Scipio?" said I. "You must have transacted a 
 great deal of business in a short time. You are no novice in back- 
 stairs influence. It is very strange that you have not feathered 
 your own nest." " That ought not to surprise you at all," answered 
 he. " I love to make money circulate, not to hoard it up." 
 
 Don Roger de Rada came according to his appointment. I re- 
 ceived him with a mixture of courtly plausibility and ministerial 
 pride. " My worthy sir," said I, " before I engage in your interests, 
 I wish to know the nature of the affair which brings you to court ; 
 because it may be such as to preclude me from speaking to the min- 
 ister in your favor. Give me, therefore, if you please, the particulars 
 faithfully, and rest assured that I shall enter warmly into your in- 
 terest, if they are proper to be espoused by a man who moves in my 
 sphere." My young client promised to be sincere in his representa- 
 tion, and began his narrative in the following words. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 HISTORY OF DON ROGER DE RADA. 
 
 u "T^vON ANASTASIO DE RADA, a gentleman of Granada, was 
 I J living happily in the town of Antequera, with Donna Este- 
 phania his wife, who united every charm of person and mind with 
 the most unquestionable virtue. If her affection was lively towards 
 her husband, his love for her was violent beyond all bounds. He 
 was naturally prone to jealousy ; and though wantonness could
 
 446 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 never assume such a semblance as his wife's, his thoughts were not 
 quite at rest upon the subject. He was apprehensive lest some 
 secret enemy to his repose might make some attempt upon his 
 honor. His eye was turned askance upon all his friends, except 
 Don Huberto de Hordales, who frequented the house without suspi- 
 cion in quality of Estephania's cousin, and was the only man in 
 whom he ought not to have confided. 
 
 " Don Huberto did actually fall in love with his cousin, and ven- 
 tured to make his sentiments known, in contempt of consanguinity 
 and the ties of friendship. The lady, who was considerate, instead 
 of making an outcry which might have led to fatal consequences, 
 reproved her kinsman gently, represented to him the extreme crim- 
 inality of attempting to seduce her and dishonor her husband, and 
 told him very seriously that he must not flatter himself with the 
 most distant hope. 
 
 " This moderation only inflamed the seducer's appetite the more. 
 Taking it for granted that, as a woman who had been accustomed 
 to save appearances, she only wanted to be more strongly urged, he 
 began to adopt little freedoms of more warmth than delicacy, and had 
 the assurance one day to put the question home to her. She re- 
 pulsed him with unbridled indignation, and threatened to refer the 
 punishment of his offence to Don Anastasio. Her suitor, alarmed 
 at such an intimation, promised to drop the subject; and Este- 
 phania, in the candor of her soul, forgave him for the past. 
 
 " Don Huberto, a man totally devoid of principle, could not feel 
 his passion to be foiled without entertaining a mean spirit of re- 
 venge. He knew the weak side of Don Anastasio's temper. This 
 was enough to engender the blackest design that ever scoundrel 
 plotted. One evening, as he was walking alone with this misguided 
 husband, he said, with an air of extreme uneasiness, 'My dear 
 friend, I can no longer live without unburdening my mind ; and yet 
 I would be forever silent but that you value honor far above a 
 treacherous repose. Your acute feelings and my own, on points 
 which concern domestic injuries, forbid me to conceal what is pass- 
 ing in your family. Prepare to hear what will occasion you as 
 much grief as astonishment. I am going to wound you in the ten- 
 derest part.' 
 
 ' * I know what you mean,' interrupted Don Anastasio, in the 
 first burst of agony; 'your cousin is unfaithful.' 'I no longer 
 acknowledge her for my cousin,' replied Hordales, with impassioned 
 vehemence ; ' I disown her, as unworthy to share my friend's em- 
 braces.' ' This is keeping me too long upon the rack,' exclaimed 
 Don Anastasio: 'say on; what has Estephania done?' 'She has 
 betrayed you,' replied Don Huberto. ' You have a rival to whom
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 447 
 
 she listens in private, but I cannot give you his name, for the adul- 
 terer, under favor of impenetrable darkness, has escaped the ken of 
 those who watched him. All I know is that you are duped : of that 
 fact I am well assured. My own share in the disgrace is a sufficient 
 pledge of my veracity. Her infidelity must be palpable indeed 
 when I turn Estephania's accuser. 
 
 " ' It is to no purpose,' continued he, watching the successful im- 
 pression of his discourse, ' it is to no purpose to discuss the subject 
 further. I perceive your indignation at the treacherous requital of 
 your love, and your thoughts all aiming at a just revenge. Take 
 your own course. Heed not in what relation to you your victim 
 may stand, but convince the whole city that there is no earthly 
 being whom you would not sacrifice to your honor.' 
 
 " Thus did the traitor exasperate a too credulous husband against 
 an innocent wife, depicting in such glowing colors the infamy in 
 which he would be plunged, if he left the insult unpunished, as to 
 heighten his anger into madness. Behold Don Anastasio with his 
 mind completely overturned, as if goaded by the Furies. He re- 
 turned homewards with the frantic design of murdering his ill-fated 
 wife. She was just going to bed when he came in. He kept his 
 passion under for a time, and waited till the attendants had with- 
 drawn. Then, unrestrained by the fear of vengeance from above, 
 by the vulgar scorn which must recoil upon an honorable family, 
 by natural affection for his unborn child, since his wife was near 
 her time, he approached his victim, and said to her, in a furious 
 tone of voice, 'Now is your hour to die, wretch as you are! One 
 moment only is your own, which my relenting pity leaves you to 
 make your peace with Heaven. I would not that your soul should 
 perish eternally, though your earthly honor is forever lost/ 
 
 '' At these words he drew his dagger. Estephania, almost speech- 
 less with terror, throwing herself at his feet, besought him, with 
 uplifted hands and inarticulate agony, to tell her why he raised his 
 arm against her life. If he suspected her fidelity, she called Heaven 
 to attest her innocence. 
 
 "'In vain, in vain,' replied the infuriated murderer; 'your 
 treason is but too well proved. My information is not to be con- 
 tradicted. Don Huberto' . . . 'Ah! my lord,' interrupted she 
 with eager haste, 'you must hold your trust aloof from Don 
 Huberto. He is less your friend than you imagine. If he has said 
 aught against my virtue, believe him not.' ' Restrain that infamous 
 tongue,' replied Don Anastasio. ' By appealing against Hordales, 
 you condemn yourself. You would ruin your relation in my esteem, 
 because he is acquainted with your misconduct. You would invali- 
 date his evidence against you ; but the artifice ia palpable, and only
 
 448 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 whets my appetite for vengeance.' ' My dear husband,' rejoined the 
 innocent Estephania, while her tears flowed in torrents, ' beware of 
 this blind rage. If you follow its instigation, you will perpetrate a 
 deed for which you will hate yourself, when convinced of its in- 
 justice. In the name of Heaven, compose your disordered spirits. 
 At least give me time to clear up your suspicions ; you will then 
 deal candidly by a wife who has nothing to reproach herself with.' 
 
 " Any other than Don Anastasio would have been touched by her 
 pleadings, and still more by her agonizing affliction ; but the bar- 
 barian, far from being softened, ordered the lady once again to re- 
 commend herself briefly to mercy, and lifted his arm to strike the 
 blow. ' Hold, inhuman as you are !' cried she. ' If your love for 
 me is as if it had never been, if my lavish fondness in return is all 
 blotted from your memory, if my tears have no eloquence to disarm 
 your hellish purpose, have some pity on your own blood. Launch 
 not your frantic hand against an innocent who has not yet breathed 
 this vital air. You cannot be its executioner without the curse of 
 Heaven and earth. As for myself, I can forgive my murderer ; but 
 the butcher of his own child think deeply of it ! must pay the 
 dreadful forfeit of so detestable a deed.' 
 
 " Determined as Don Anastasio was to pay no attention to any- 
 thing Estephania could say, he could not help being affected by the 
 frightful images these last words presented to his soul. Wherefore, 
 as if apprehensive lest nature should play the traitress to revenge, 
 he hastened to make sure of his staggering resolves, and plunged his 
 dagger into her bosom. She fell motionless on the ground. He 
 thought her dead, and on that supposition left his house imme- 
 diately, to be no more seen at Antequera. 
 
 " In the meantime, the unhappy victim of groundless suspicion 
 was so stunned with the blow she had received as to remain for a 
 short interval on the ground without any signs of life. Afterwards, 
 coming to herself, she brought an old female servant to her assist- 
 ance by her plaints and lamentations. That good old woman, behold- 
 ing her mistress in so deplorable a state, waked the whole household, 
 and even the neighborhood, by her cries. The room was soon filled 
 with spectators. Surgical assistance was sent for. The wound was 
 probed, and pronounced not to be mortal. Their opinion turned out 
 to be correct, for Estephania soon recovered, and was in due time 
 delivered of a son, notwithstanding the cruel circumstances in which 
 she had been placed. That son, Signer Gil Bias, you behold in me ; 
 I am the fruit of that dreadful pregnancy. 
 
 " Women, when chaste as ice, when pure as snow, seldom escape 
 calumny : this plague, however, though virtue's dowry, did not 
 alight upon my mother. The bloody scene passed, in common fame,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 449 
 
 for the transport of a jealous husband. My father, it is true, bore 
 the character of a passionate man, prone to kindle into fury on the 
 slightest occasion. Hordales could not but suppose that his kins- 
 woman must suspect him of having sown wild fancies in the mind 
 of Don Anastasio, so that he satisfied himself with this imperfect 
 relish of revenge, and ceased to importune her. But, not to be 
 tedious, I shall pass over the detail of my education. Suffice it to 
 say, that my principal exercise was fencing, which I practiced rcg' 
 ularly in the most famous schools of Granada and Seville. My 
 mother waited with impatience till I was of age to measure swords 
 with Don Huberto, that she might instruct me in the grounds of 
 her complaint against him. In my eighteenth year, she submitted 
 her cause to my arbitrament, not without floods of tears, and every 
 symptom of the deepest anguish. What must not a son feel, if he 
 has the spirit and the heart of a son, at the sight of a mother in 
 such distressing circumstances ? I went immediately and called out 
 Hordales ; our place of meeting was private, as it should be ; we 
 fought long and furiously ; three of my thrusts took effect, and I 
 threw him to the ground, like a dead dog despised. 
 
 " Don Huberto, feeling his wound to be mortal, fixed his last 
 looks upon me, and declared that he met his death at my hands as 
 a just punishment for his treason against my mother's honor. He 
 owned that in revenge for the pangs of despised love he had re- 
 solved on her ruin. Thus did he breathe his last, imploring pardon 
 from Heaven, from Don Anastasio, from Estephania, and from my- 
 self. I deemed it imprudent to return home and acquaint my 
 mother of the issue ; fame was sure to perform that office for me. 
 I passed the mountains, and repaired to Malaga, where I embarked 
 on board a privateer. My outside not altogether indicating cow- 
 ardice, the captain consented at once to enroll me among his crew. 
 
 " We were not long before we went into action. Near the island 
 of Alboutan, a corsair of Millila fell in with us, on his return 
 towards the African coast with a Spanish vessel richly laden, taken 
 off Carthagena. We attacked the African briskly, and made our- 
 selves masters of both ships, with eighty Christians on board, going 
 as slaves to Barbary. Afterwards, availing ourselves of a wind 
 direct for the coast of Granada, we shortly arrived at Punta de 
 Helena. 
 
 " While we were inquiring into the birthplace and condition of 
 our rescued captives, a man about fifty, of prepossessing aspect, fell 
 under my examination. He stated himself, with a sigh, to belong to 
 Antequera. My heart palpitated, without my knowing why ; and my 
 emotion, too strong to pass unnoticed, excited a visible sympathy in 
 him. I avowed myself his townsman, and asked his family name. 
 29
 
 450 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 'Alas!' answered he, 'your curiosity makes my sorrow flow afresh. 
 Eighteen years ago did I leave my home, where my remembrance is 
 coupled with scenes of blood and horror. You must yourself have 
 heard but too much of my story. My name is Don Anastasio de 
 Kada.' 'Merciful heaven!' exclaimed I; 'may I believe my 
 senses ? And can this be Don Anastasio ? Father !' ' What is 
 it you say, young man ?' exclaimed he, in his turn, with surprise 
 and agitation equal to my own. 'Are you that ill-fated infant still 
 in its mother's womb when I sacrificed her to my fury ?' ' Yes,' 
 said I ; ' none other did the virtuous Estephania bring into the 
 world, after the fatal night when you left her weltering in her own 
 blood.' 
 
 " Don Anastasio stifled my words in his embraces. For a quarter 
 of an hour we could only mingle our inarticulate sighs and exclam- 
 ations. After exhausting our tender recollections, and indulging in 
 the wild expression of our feelings, my father lifted his eyes to 
 heaven, in gratitude for Estephania saved ; but the next moment, 
 as if doubtful of his bliss, he demanded by what evidence his wife's 
 innocence had been cleared. ' Sir,' answered I, ' none but yourself 
 ever doubted it. Her conduct has been uniformly spotless. You 
 must be undeceived. Know that Don Huberto was a traitor.' In 
 proof of this I unfolded all his perfidy, the vengeance I had taken, 
 and his own confession before he expired. 
 
 " My father was less delighted at his liberty restored than at these 
 happy tidings. In the forgetfulness of ecstasy, he repeated all his 
 former transports. His approbation of me was ardent and entire. 
 ' Come, my son,' said he, ' let us set out for Antequera. I burn with 
 impatience to throw myself at the feet of a wife whom I have treated 
 so unworthily. Since you have brought me acquainted with my own 
 injustice, my heart has been torn by remorse.' 
 
 " I was too eager to bring together a couple so near and dear to 
 me, not to expedite our journey as much as possible. I quitted the 
 privateer, and with my share of prize money bought two mules at 
 Adra, my father not choosing again to incur the hazard of a voyage. 
 He found leisure on the road to relate his adventures, which I in- 
 clined to hear as seriously as did the Prince of Ithaca the various 
 recitals of the king his father. At length, after several days, we 
 halted at the foot of a mountain near Antequera. Wishing to reach 
 home privately, we went not into the town till midnight. 
 
 " You may guess my mother's astonishment at beholding a hus- 
 band whom she had thought forever lost ; and the almost miraculous 
 circumstances of his restoration were a second source of wonder. 
 He entreated forgiveness for his barbarity with marks of repentance 
 so lively that she could not but be moved. Instead of looking on
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 451 
 
 him as a murderer, she only saw the man to whose will high Heaven 
 had subjected her ; such religion is there in the name of husband 
 to a virtuous wife ! Estephania had been so alarmed about me that 
 my return filled her with rapture. But her joy on this account was 
 not without alleviation. A sister of Hordales had instituted a crim- 
 inal prosecution against her brother's antagonist. The search for 
 me was hot, so that my mother, considering home as insecure, was 
 painfully anxious about me. It was therefore necessary to set out 
 that very night for court, whither I come to solicit my pardon, and 
 hope to obtain it by your generous intercession with the prime 
 minister." 
 
 The gallant son of Don Anastasio thus closed his narrative ; after 
 which I observed, with a self-sufficient physiognomy, " It is well, 
 Signer Don Roger ; the offence seems to me to be venial. I will 
 undertake to lay the case before his excellency, and may venture to 
 promise you his protection." The thanks my client lavished would 
 have passed in at one ear and out at the other, if they had not been 
 backed by assurances of more substantial gratitude. But when once 
 that string was touched, every nerve and fibre of my frame vibrated 
 in unison. On the very same day did I relate the whole story to 
 the duke, who allowed me to present the gentleman, and addressed 
 him thus : " Don Roger, I have been informed of the duel which 
 has brought you to court : Santillane has laid all the particulars 
 before me. Make yourself perfectly easy ; you have done nothing 
 but what the circumstances of the case might almost warrant ; and 
 it is especially on the ground of wounded honor that his majesty is 
 best pleased to extend his grace and favor. You must be committed 
 for mere form's sake ; but you may depend on it your confinement 
 shall be of short duration. In Santillane you have a zealous friend, 
 who will watch over your interests and hasten your release." 
 
 Don Roger paid his respectful acknowledgments to the minister, 
 on whose pledge he went and surrendered himself. His pardon was 
 soon made out, owing to my activity. In less than ten days I sent 
 this modern Telemachus home, to say, " How do you do ?" to his 
 Ulysses and Penelope. Had he stood upon the merits of his case 
 without a protector, he might have whined out a year's imprison- 
 ment, and scarcely have got off at last. My commission was but a 
 poor hundred pistoles. It was no very magnificent haul ; but I was 
 not as yet a Calderona, to turn up my nose at the small fry.
 
 452 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 CHAPTEE IX. 
 
 Gil BLAS MAKES A LARGE FORTUNE IN A SHORT TIME, AND BEHAVES 
 LIKE OTHER WEALTHY UPSTARTS. 
 
 r I ^HIS affair gave me a relish for my trade; and ten pistoles to 
 I Scipio, by way of brokerage, whetted his eagerness to start 
 more game of the same sort I have already done justice to his 
 talents that way ; he might as modestly have appended " the great" 
 to the tail of his name as the most noted scoundrel of antiquity. 
 The second customer he brought me was a printer, who manufac- 
 tured books of chivalry, and had made his fortune by waging war 
 against common sense. This printer had pirated a work belonging 
 to a brother printer, and his edition had been seized. For three 
 hundred ducats I rescued his copies out of jeopardy, and saved him 
 from a heavy fine Though this was a transaction beneath the 
 prime minister's notice, his excellency condescended, at my request, 
 to interpose his authority After the printer, a merchant passed 
 through my hands ; the occasion was thus r A Portuguese vessel 
 had been taken by a Barbary corsair, and retaken by a privateer 
 from Cadiz. Two-thirds of the cargo belonged to a merchant at 
 Lisbon, who, having claimed his due to no purpose, came to the court 
 of Spain in search of a protector, with sufficient credit to procure 
 him restitution. I took up his cause, and he recovered his property, 
 deducting the sum of four hundred pistoles, paid to me in consider- 
 ation of my disinterested zeal for justice 
 
 And now most surely the reader will call out to me at this place, 
 " Well said, good master Santillane ! Make hay while the sun 
 shines. You are on the high road to fortune ; push forward, and 
 outstrip your rivals." " O ! let me alone for that. I spy, or my eyes 
 deceive me, my servant coming in with a new gull that he has just 
 caught Even so ! It is my very Scipio. Let us hear what he has 
 to say." "Sir," quoth he, "give me leave to introduce this eminent 
 practitioner. He wants a license to sell his drugs, during the term 
 often years, in all the towns of the Spanish monarchy, to the exclu- 
 sion of all other quacks ; in short, a monopoly of poisons. In grati- 
 tude for this patent to thin mankind, he will present the donor with 
 a gratuity of two hundred pistoles." I looked superciliously, like a 
 patron, at the mountebank, and told him that his business should 
 be done. As lameness and leprosy would have it, in the course of a 
 few days, I sent him on his progress through Spain, invested with 
 full powers to make the world his oyster, and leave nothing but the 
 shell to his unpatented competitors.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 453 
 
 Besides that my avarice outran my accumulating wealth, I had 
 obtained the four boons just specified so easily from his grace, as not 
 to be mealy-mouthed about asking for a fifth. The town of Vera, 
 on the coast of Granada, wanted a governor ; and a knight of Cala- 
 trava wanted the government, for which he was willing to pay me 
 one thousand pistoles. The minister was ready to burst with laugh- 
 ing to see me so eager after the scot. " By all the powers, my friend 
 Gil Bias," said he, " you go to work tooth and nail 1 You have a 
 most inveterate itch to do as you would be done by. But mark me! 
 When mere trifles stand between us, I shall not stand upon trifles; 
 but when governments or other places of real value are in question, 
 you will have the modesty to be content with half the fee for your- 
 self, and will account to me for the other half. It is inconceivable at 
 what expense I stand, and how it presses on my finances to support 
 the dignity of my station ; for though disinterestedness looks vastly 
 well in the eyes of the world, you are to understand, between our- 
 selves, that I have made a solemn vow against dipping into my 
 private fortune. On this hint, arrange your future plans." 
 
 My master, by this discourse relieving me from the fear of being 
 troublesome, or rather egging me on to run at the ring for every 
 prize, made me still more worldly-minded than ever I had been 
 before. I should not have objected to circulating handbills, with 
 an invitation to all candidates for places to apply on certain terms 
 at the secretary's office. My functions were here, Scipio's were 
 there ; and we met at the receipt of custom. My client got the 
 government of Vera for his thousand pistoles ; and as our price was 
 fixed, a knight of St. James met his brother of Calatrava in the 
 market on an equal footing. But mere governors were paltry fish 
 to fry ; I distributed orders of knighthood, and converted some good 
 stupid burgesses into most insufferable gentry by one stroke of the 
 pen, and a lacing across the shoulders with a broadsword. The 
 clergy, too, were not forgotten in my charities. Lesser preferments 
 were in my gift; everything up to prebendal stalls and collegiate 
 dignities. With regard to bishoprics and archbishoprics, Don Rod- 
 rigo de Calderona had the charge of our holy religion. As church 
 and state must always go together, supreme magistracies, command- 
 cries, and viceroyalties were all in his gift ; whence the reader will 
 naturally infer, that the upper offices were little better tenanted 
 than the lower ones ; since the subjects on whom our election fell, 
 establishing their pretensions on a certain palpable criterion, were 
 not necessarily and unavoidably either the cleverest or the best- 
 principled people in the world. We knew very well that the wits 
 and lampooners of Madrid made themselves merry at our expense ; 
 but we borrowed our philosophy from misers, who hug themselves
 
 454 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 under the hootings of the people, when they count over the accu- 
 mulation of their pelf. 
 
 Isocrates was in the right to insinuate, in his elegant Greek ex- 
 pression, that what is got over the devil's hack is spent under his 
 belly. When I saw myself master of thirty thousand ducats, and 
 in a fair way to gain perhaps ten times as much, it seemed to be a 
 necessity of office to make such a figure as became the right hand 
 of a prime minister. I took a house to myself, and furnished it in 
 the prevailing style. I bought an attorney's carriage at second 
 hand ; he had set it up at the suggestion of vanity, and laid it down 
 at the suggestion of his banker. I hired a coachman and three 
 footmen. Justice demands that old and faithful servants should 
 be promoted ; I therefore invested Scipio with the threefold honor 
 of valet-de-chambre, private secretary, and steward. But the min- 
 ister raised my pride to its highest pitch, for he was pleased to allow 
 my people to wear his livery. My poor little wits were now com- 
 pletely turned. I was little more in my senses than the disciples of 
 Porcius Latro, who, by dint of drinking cumin, having made them- 
 selves as pale as their master, thought themselves every whit as 
 learned ; so I could scarcely refrain from fancying myself next of 
 kin and presumptive heir to the Duke of Lerma himself. The popu- 
 lace might take me for his cousin, and people who knew better, for 
 one of his bastards, a suspicion most flattering to my pride of blood. 
 
 Add to this, that after the example of his excellency, who kept 
 a public table, I determined to give parties of my own. Pursuant 
 thereunto, I commissioned Scipio to find me out a professed cook ; 
 and he stumbled upon one who might have dished up a dinner for 
 Nomentanus, of dripping-pan notoriety. My cellar was well stored 
 with the choicest wines. My establishment being now complete, I 
 gave my house-warming. Every evening some of the clerks in the 
 public offices came to sup with me, and affected a sort of political 
 high life below stairs. I did the honors hospitably, and always 
 sent them home half seas over. Like master like man ! Scipio, 
 too, had his parties in the servants' hall, where he treated all his 
 chums at my expense. But besides that I felt a real kindness for 
 that lad, he contributed to grease the wheels of my establishment, 
 and was entitled to have a finger in the dissipation. As a young 
 man, some little license was allowable ; and the ruinous conse- 
 quences did not strike me at the time. Another reason, too, pre- 
 vented me from taking notice of it; incessant vacancies, ecclesiastical 
 and secular, paid me amply in meal and in malt. My surplus was 
 increasing every day. Fortune's curricle seemed to have driven to 
 my door, there to have broken down, and the driver to have taken 
 shelter with me.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 455 
 
 One thing more was wanting to my complete intoxication that 
 Fabricio might be witness to my pomp. He was, most probably, 
 come back from Andalusia. For the fun of surprising him, I sent 
 an anonymous note, importing that a Sicilian nobleman of his ac- 
 quaintance would be glad of his company to supper, with the day, 
 hour, and place of appointment, which was at my house. Nunez 
 came, and was most inordinately astonished to recognize me in the 
 Sicilian nobleman. " Yes, my friend," said I, " behold the master 
 of this family. I have a retinue, a good table, and a strong box 
 besides." "Is it possible," exclaimed he with vivacity, "that all 
 this opulence should be yours? It was well done in me to have 
 placed you with Count Galiano. I told you beforehand that he was 
 a generous nobleman, and would not be long before he set you at 
 your ease. Of course you followed my wise advice, in giving the 
 rein a little more freely to your servants ; you find the benefit of it. 
 It is only by a little mutual accommodation that the principal 
 officers in great houses feather their nests so comfortably." 
 
 I suffered Fabricio to go on as long as* he liked, complimenting 
 himself for having introduced me to Count Galiano. When he had 
 done, to chastise his ecstasies at having procured me so good a post, 
 I stated at full length the returns of gratitude with which that noble- 
 man had recompensed my services. But, perceiving how ready my 
 poet was to string his lyre to satire at my recital, I said to him, 
 " The Sicilian's contemptible conduct I readily forgive. Between 
 ourselves, it is more a subject of congratulation than of regret. If 
 the count had dealt honorably by me, I should have followed him 
 into Sicily, where I should still be in a subordinate capacity, wait- 
 ing for dead men's shoes. In a word, I should not now have been 
 hand in glove with the Duke of Lerma." 
 
 Nunez felt so strange a sensation at these last words, that he was 
 tongue-tied for some seconds. Then gulping up his stammering 
 accents like harlequin, " Did I hear aright?" said he. "What I you 
 hand in glove with the prime minister ?" " I on one side, and Don 
 Bodrigo de Calderona on the other," answered I ; " and according to 
 all appearance, my fortunes will move higher." " Truly," replied 
 he, " this is admirable. You are cut out for every occasion. What 
 a universal genius ! To borrow an expression from the tennis-court, 
 you have a racket for every ball ; nothing comes amiss to you. At 
 all events, my lord, I am sincerely rejoiced at your lordship's pros- 
 perity." "The deuce and all, Master Nunez!" interrupted I; "good 
 now, dispense with your lords and lordships. Let us banish such 
 formalities, and live on equal terms together." "You are in the 
 right," replied he ; " altered circumstances should not make strange 
 faces. I will own my weakness ; when you announced your eleva-
 
 456 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 tion, you took away my breath ; but the chill and the shudder are 
 over, and I see only my old friend Gil Bias." 
 
 Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of four or five 
 clerks. " Gentlemen," said I, introducing Nunez, " you are to sup 
 with Signer Don Fabricio, who writes verses of impenetrable 
 sublimity, and such prose as would not know itself in the glass." 
 Unluckily I was talking to gentry who would have had more fellow- 
 feeling with an orang-outang than with a poet. They scarcely con- 
 descended to look at him. In vain did he pun, parody, rally, or rail 
 to hit their fancies, for they had none. He was so nettled at their 
 indifference, that he assumed the poetic license, and made his es- 
 cape. Our clerks never missed him, but forgot at once that he had 
 been there. 
 
 Just as I was going out the next morning, the poet of the Asturias 
 came into my room. " I beg pardon," said he, " for having cut your 
 clerks so abruptly last night ; but, to deal freely, I was so much out 
 of my element, that I should soon have played old chaos with them. 
 Proud puppies, with their starch and self-important air ! I cannot 
 conceive how a clever fellow like you can sit it out with such lout- 
 ish guests. To-day I will bring you some of more life and spirit." 
 "I shall be very much obliged to you," answered I: "your intro- 
 duction is sufficient." " Exactly so," replied he. " You shall have 
 the feast of reason and the flow of soul. I will go forthwith and 
 invite them, for fear they should engage themselves elsewhere ; for 
 happy man be his dole who can get fhem to dinner or supper, they 
 are such excellent company !" 
 
 Away went he ; and in the evening, at supper-time, returned with 
 six authors in his train, whom he presented one after another with 
 a set speech in their praise. According to his account, the wits of 
 Greece and Italy were nothing in comparison of these, whose works 
 ought to be printed in letters of gold. I received this deputation 
 from the tuneful sisters very politely. My behavior was even in the 
 extravagance of good breeding; for the republic of authors is a little 
 monarchical in its demands upon our flattery. Though I had given 
 Scipio no express direction respecting the number of covers at this 
 entertainment, yet knowing what a hungry and voluptuous race were 
 to be crammed, he had mustered the courses in more than their full 
 complement. 
 
 At length supper was announced, and we fell to merrily. My 
 poets began talking of their poems and themselves. One fellow, 
 with the most lyrical assurance, numbered up whole hosts of first- 
 rate nobility and high-flying dames, who were quite enraptured with 
 his muse. Another, though it was not for him to arraign the choice 
 which a learned society had lately made of two new members, could
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 457 
 
 not help saying that it was strange they should not have elected him. 
 All the rest were much in the same story. Amid the clatter of knives 
 and forks, my ears were discordantly dinned with verses and har- 
 angues. They each took it by turns to give me a specimen of their 
 composition. One languishes out a sonnet ; another mouths a scene 
 in a tragedy ; and a third reads a melancholy criticism on the prov- 
 ince of comedy. The next in turn spouts an ode of Anacreon, 
 translated into most un-anacreontic Spanish verse. One of his breth- 
 ren interrupts him, to point out the unclassical use of a particular 
 phrase. The author of the version by no means acquiesces in the 
 remark ; hence arises an argument, in which all the literati take one 
 side or the other. Opinions are nearly balanced ; the disputants are 
 nearly in a passion ; as argument weakens, invective grows stronger ; 
 they get from bad to worse ; over goes the table, and up jump they 
 to fisticuffs. Fabricio, Scipio, my coachman, my footman, and my- 
 self have scarcely lungs or strength to bring them to their senses. 
 The moment the battle was over, off scampered they as if my house 
 had been a tavern, without the slightest apology for their ill be- 
 havior. 
 
 Nunez, on whose word I had anticipated a vejy pleasant party, 
 looked rather blue at this conclusion. "Well, my friend," said I, 
 " what do you think of your literary acquaintance now ? As sure as 
 Apollo is on Parnassus, you brought me a most blackguard set. I 
 will stick to my clerks ; so talk no more to me about authors." " I 
 shall take care," answered he, " not to invite any one of them to a 
 gentleman's house again ; for these are the most select and well- 
 mannered of the tribe." 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE MORALS OF GIL BLAS BECOME AT COURT MUCH AS IP THEY HAD 
 NEVER BEEN AT AI^L. 
 
 WHEN once my name was up for a man after the Duke of 
 Lerma's own heart, I had very soon my court about me. 
 Every morning was my antechamber crowded with company, and 
 my levees were all the fashion. Two sorts of customers came to my 
 shop ; one set, to engage my interposition with the minister, on fair 
 commercial principles ; the other set, to excite my compassion by 
 pathetic statements of their cases, and give me a lift to heaven on
 
 458 ADVENTURES OF GIL HLAS. 
 
 the packhorse of charity. The first were sure of being heard patiently 
 and served diligently ; with regard to the second order, I got rid of 
 them at once by plausible evasions, or kept them dangling till they 
 wore their patience threadbare, and went off in a huff. Before I 
 was about the court, my nature was compassionate and charitable ; 
 but tenderness of heart is an unfashionable frailty there, and mine be- 
 came harder than any flint. Here was an admirable school to correct 
 the romantic sensibilities of friendship : nor was my philosophy any 
 longer assailable in that quarter. My manner of dealing with Joseph 
 Navarro, under the following circumstances, will prove more than 
 volumes on that head. 
 
 This Navarro, the founder of my fortune, to whom my obligations 
 were thick and threefold, paid me a visit one day. With the warm- 
 est expressions of regard, such as he was in the habit of lavishing, 
 he begged me to ask the Duke of Lerma for a certain situation for 
 one of his friends, a young man of excellent qualities and undoubted 
 merit, but encumbered with an inability of getting on in the world. 
 " I am well assured," added Joseph, " that, with your good and 
 obliging disposition, you will be enraptured to confer a favor on a 
 worthy man with a very slender purse; I am sure you will feel 
 obliged to me for giving you an opportunity of carrying your bene- 
 volent inclinations into effect." This was just as good as telling me 
 that the business was to be done for nothing. Though such doctrine 
 was not quite level to my capacity, I still affected a wish to do as he 
 desired. " It gives me infinite pleasure," answered I to Navarro, 
 " to have it in my power to evince my lively sense of all you* for- 
 mer kindness to me It is enough for you to take any man living 
 by the hand , from that moment he becomes the object of my un- 
 wearied care. Your friend shall have the situation you want for 
 him ; nay, he has it already. It is no longer any concern of yours ; 
 leave it entirely to me." 
 
 On this assurance Joseph went away in high glee ; nevertheless, 
 the person he recommended did not get the post in question. It was 
 given to another man, and my strong box was stronger by a thou- 
 sand ducats. This sum was infinitely preferable to all the thanks in 
 the world, so that I looked pitifully blank when next we met, saying, 
 " Ah, my dear Navarro ! you should have thought of speaking to 
 me sooner. That Calderona got the start of me ; he has given away 
 a certain thing that shall be nameless. I am vexed to the soul not 
 to meet you with better tidings." 
 
 Joseph was fool enough to give me credit, and we parted better 
 friends than ever; but I suspect that he soon found out the truth, 
 for he never came near me again. This was just what I wanted. 
 Besides that the memory of benefits received grated harshly, it
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 459 
 
 would not have been at all the thing for a person in my then sphere 
 to keep company with a certain description of people. 
 
 The Count de Lemos has been long in the background ; let us 
 make him a little more prominent on the canvas. We met occasion- 
 ally. I had carried him a thousand pistoles, as the reader will 
 recollect; and I now carried him a thousand more, by order of his 
 uncle the duke, out of his excellency's funds lying in my hands. 
 On this occasion the Count de Lemos honored me with a long con- 
 ference. He informed me that at length he had completely gained 
 his end, and was in unrivalled possession of the Prince of Spain's good 
 graces, whose sole confidant he was. His next concern was to invest 
 me with a right honorable commission, of which he had already 
 given me a hint. " Friend Santillane," said he, " now is the time 
 to strike while the iron is hot. Spare no pains to find out some 
 young beauty worthy to while away the prince's amorous hours. 
 You have your wits about you, and a word to the wise is sufficient. 
 Go, run about the town ; pry into every hole and corner ; and when 
 you have pounced upon anything likely to suit, you will come and 
 let me know." I promised the count to leave no stone unturned in 
 the due discharge of my employment, which seemed to require no 
 great force of genius, since the professors of the science are so 
 numerous. 
 
 I had not hitherto been much practiced in such delicate investi- 
 gations, but it was more than probable that Scipio had, and that his 
 talent lay peculiarly that way. On my return home I called him 
 in, and spoke thus to him in private : " My good fellow, I have a 
 very important secret to impart. Do you know that in the midst 
 of fortune's favors there is something still wanting to crown all my 
 wishes ?" " I can easily guess what that is," interrupted he, with- 
 out giving me time to finish what I was going to say ; " you want a 
 little snug bit of contraband amusement, to .keep you awake of 
 evenings, and rub off the rust of business. And, in fact, it is a mar- 
 vellous thing that you should have played the Joseph in the heyday 
 of your blood, when so many graybeards around you are playing 
 the elder." " I admire the quickness of your apprehension," replied 
 I with a smile. " Yes, my friend, a mistress is that something still 
 wanting, and you will choose for me. But I forewarn you that I am 
 nice hungry, and must have a pretty person, with more than pass- 
 able manners." "The sort of thing that you require," returned 
 Scipio, " is not always to be met with' in the market. Yet, as luck 
 will have it, we are in a town where everything is to be got for 
 money, and I am in hopes that your commission will not hang long 
 on hand." 
 
 Accordingly, within three days he pulled me by the sleeve, say-
 
 460 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 ing, " I have discovered a treasure I A young lady whose name ia 
 Catalina, of good family and matchless beauty, living with her aunt 
 in a small house, where they make both ends meet by clubbing 
 their little matters, and set the slanderous world at defiance. Their 
 waiting-maid, a girl of my acquaintance, has given me to understand 
 that their door, though barred against all impertinent intruders, 
 would turn upon its hinges to a rich and generous suitor, if he would 
 only consent, for fear of prying neighbors, not to pay his visits till 
 after nightfall, and then in the most private manner possible. 
 Hereupon I magnified you as the properest gentleman in the world, 
 and entreated piety in pattens to offer your humble services to the 
 ladies. She promised to do so, and to bring me back my answer 
 to-morrow morning at an appointed place." " That is all very well," 
 answered I ; " but I am afraid your goddess of bed-making has been 
 running her rig upon you." " No, no," replied he ; " old birds are 
 not to be caught with chaff. I have already made inquiry in the 
 neighborhood, and by the general report of her, Signora Catalina 
 is a second Danae, on whom you will have the happiness of coming 
 down 
 
 'Like Jove descending from his tower, 
 To court her in a silver shower.' " 
 
 Out of conceit as I was with the intrinsic value of ladies' favors, 
 this was not to be scoffed at ; and as our Mercury in petticoats came 
 the next day to tell Scipio that it only depended on me to be intro- 
 duced that very evening, I dropped in between eleven and twelve 
 o'clock. The knowing one received me without bringing a candle, 
 and led me by the hand into a very neat apartment, where the two 
 ladies were sitting on a satin sofa, dressed in the most elegant taste. 
 As soon as they saw me enter, they got up and welcomed me in a 
 style of such superior breeding as would not have disgraced the 
 highest rank. The aunt, whose name was Signora Mencia, though 
 with the remains of beauty, had no attractions for me. But the 
 niece had a million, for she was a goddess in mortal form. And 
 yet, to examine her critically, she could not have been admitted for 
 a perfect beauty ; but then there was a charm above all rules of 
 symmetry, with a tingling and luxurious warmth about her, that 
 seized on men's hearts through their eyes, and prevented their brains 
 from being too busy. 
 
 Neither were my senses proof against so dazzling a display. I 
 forgot my errand as proxy, and spoke on my own private individual 
 account, with the enthusiasm of a raw recruit in the tender passion. 
 The dear little creature, whose wit sounded in my ears with three 
 times its actual acuteness, under favor of her natural endowments, 
 made a complete conquest of me by her prattle. I began to launch
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 461 
 
 out into foolish raptures, when the aunt, to bring me to my bearings, 
 thus led the conversation to the point in hand : " Signor de San- 
 tillane, I shall deal very explicitly with you. On the high enco- 
 miums I have heard of your character, you have been admitted here 
 without the affectation of making much ado about trifles : but do 
 not imagine that your views are the nearer their termination for 
 that Hitherto I have brought my niece up in retirement, and you 
 are, as it were, the very first male creature on whom she has ever 
 set eyes. If you deem her worthy of being your wife, I shall feel 
 myself highly honored by the alliance ; it is for you to consider 
 whether those terms suit you ; but you cannot have her on cheaper." 
 
 This was proceeding to business with a vengeance! It put little 
 Cupid to flight at once : or else he was just going to try one of his 
 sharpest arrows upon me. But a truce with the Pantheon I A 
 marriage so bluntly proposed dispelled the fairy vision : I sunk 
 back at once into the count's plodding agent, and changing my tone, 
 answered Signora Mencia thus : " Madam, your frankness delights 
 me, and I will meet it half way. Whatever rank I may hold at 
 court, lower than the highest is too low for the peerless Catalina. 
 A far more brilliant offer waits her acceptance; the Prince of Spain 
 shall be thrown into her toils." " Surely it was enough to have 
 refused my niece," replied the aunt, sarcastically ; " such compli- 
 ments are sufficiently unpleasing to our sex ; it could not be neces- 
 sary to make us your unfeeling sport." "I really am not in so 
 merry a mood, madam," exclaimed I; "it is a plain matter of fact; 
 I am commissioned to look out for a young lady of merit sufficient 
 to engage the prince's heart, and receive his private visits; the 
 object of my search is in your house, and here his royal highness 
 shall fix his quarters." 
 
 Signora Mencia could scarcely believe her ears ; neither were they 
 grievously offended. Nevertheless, thinking it decent to be startled 
 at the immorality of the proceeding, she replied to the following 
 effect: "Though I should give implicit credit to what you tell me, 
 you must understand that I am not of a character to take pleasure 
 in the infamous distinction of seeing my niece a prince's concubine. 
 Every feeling of virtue and of honor revolts at the idea." .... 
 " What a simpleton you are with your virtue and honor!" inter- 
 rupted I. " You have not a notion above the level of a tradesman's 
 wife. Was there ever anything so stupid as to consider affairs of 
 this kind with a view to their moral tendency ? It is stripping 
 them of all their beauty and excellence. In the magic lantern of 
 plenty, pleasure, and preferment, they appear with all their brightest 
 gloss. Figure to yourself the heir to the monarchy at the happy 
 Catalina's feet; fancy him all rapture and lavish bounty; nor doubt
 
 462 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 but that from her shall spring a hero, who shall immortalize his 
 mother's name, by enrolling his own in the imperishable records of 
 eternal fame." 
 
 Though the aunt desired no better sport than to take me at my 
 word, she affected not to know what she had best do ; and Catalina, 
 who longed to have a grapple with the Prince of Spain, affected not 
 to care about the matter, which made it necessary for me to press 
 the siege closer, till at length Signora Mencia, finding me chopfallen 
 and ready to withdraw my forces, sounded a parley, and agreed to 
 a convention, containing the two following articles : "Imprimis, if 
 the Prince of Spain, on the fame of Cataliua's charms, should take 
 fire, and determine to pay her a nightly visit, it should be my care 
 to let the ladies know when they might expect him. Secondo, that 
 the prince should be introduced to the said ladies as a private gen- 
 tleman, accompanied only by himself and his principal purveyor." 
 
 After this capitulation, the aunt and niece were upon the best 
 terms possible with me ; they behaved as if we had known one 
 another from our cradles ; on the strength of which I ventured ou 
 some little familiarities, which were not taken at all unkindly ; and 
 when we parted, they embraced me of their own accord, and slab- 
 bered me over with inexpressible fondness. It is marvellous to 
 think with what facility a tender connection is formed between per- 
 sons in the same line of trade, but of opposite sexes. It might have 
 been suspected by an eye-witness of my departure, in all the pleni- 
 tude of warm and repeated salutation, that my visit had been more 
 successful than it was. 
 
 The Count de Lemos was highly delighted when I announced the 
 long-expected discovery. I spoke of Catalina in terms which made 
 him long to see her. The following night I took him to her house, 
 and he owned that I had beat the bush to some purpose. He told 
 the ladies he had no doubt but the Prince of Spain would be fully 
 satisfied with my choice of a mistress, who, on her part, would have 
 reason to be well pleased with such a lover ; that the young prince 
 was generous, good-tempered, and amiable ; in short, he promised in 
 a few days to bring him in the mode they enjoined, without retinue 
 or publicity. That nobleman then* took leave of them, and I with- 
 drew with him. We got into his carriage, in which we had both 
 driven thither, and which was waiting at the end of the street. He 
 set me down at my own door, with a special charge to inform his 
 uncle next day of the new game started, not forgetting to impress 
 strongly how conducive a good bag of pistoles would be to the suc- 
 cessful accomplishment of the adventure. 
 
 I did not fail on the following morning to go and give the Duke 
 of Lerma an exact account of all that had passed. There was but
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 463 
 
 one thing kept back. I did not mention Scipio's name, but took 
 credit to myself for the discovery of Catalina. One makes a merit 
 of any dirty work in the service of the great. 
 
 Abundant were the compliments paid me on this occasion. "My 
 good friend Gil Bias," said the minister with a bantering air, " I am 
 delighted that, with all your talents, you have that besides of dis- 
 covering kind-hearted beauties ; whenever I have occasion for such 
 an article, you will have the goodness to supply me." " My lord," 
 answered I, with mock gravity like his own, " you are very obliging 
 to give me the preference ; but it may not be unseasonable to observe 
 that there would be an indelicacy in my administering to your ex- 
 cellency's pleasures of this description. Signer Don Eodrigo has 
 been so long in possession of that post about your person, that it 
 would be manifest injustice to rob him of it." The duke smiled at 
 my answer, and then changing the subject, asked whether his nephew 
 did not want money for this new speculation. " Excuse my negli- 
 gence !" said I; " he will thank you to send him a thousand pistoles." 
 
 "Well and good!" replied the minister; "you will furnish him 
 accordingly, with my strict injunction not to be niggardly, but to 
 encourage the prince in whatever pleasurable expense his heart 
 may prompt him to indulge." 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 THE PRINCE OF SPAIN'S SECRET VISIT, AND PRESENTS TO CATALINA. 
 
 I WENT to the Count de Lemos on the spur of the occasion, with 
 five hundred double pistoles in my hand. " You could not have 
 come at a better time," said that nobleman. "I have been talking 
 with the prince ; he has taken the bait, and burns with impatience 
 to see Catalina. This very night he intends to slip privately out of 
 the palace, and pay her a visit ; it is a measure determined on, and 
 our arrangements are already made. Give notice to the ladies, 
 through the medium of the cash you have just brought; it is proper 
 to let them know they have no ordinary lover to receive, and a mat- 
 ter of course that generosity in princes should be the herald of their 
 partialities. As you will be of our party, take care to be in the way 
 at bed-time ; and as your carriage will be wanted, let it wait near 
 the palace about midnight." 
 
 I immediately repaired to the ladies. Catalina was not visible,
 
 464 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 having just gone to lie down. I could only speak with Signora 
 Mencia. " Madam," said I, " forgive my appearance here in the 
 daytime, but there was no avoiding it; you must know that the 
 Prince of Spain will be with you to-night; and here," added I, put- 
 ting my pecuniary credentials into her hand, " here is an offering 
 which he lays on the Cytherean shrine, to propitiate the divinities 
 of the temple. You may perceive, I have not entangled you in a 
 sleeveless concern." " You have been excessively kind indeed," 
 answered she ; " but tell me, Signer de Santillane, does the prince 
 love music ?" " To distraction," replied I. " There is nothing he so 
 much delights in as a fine voice, with a delicate lute accompani- 
 ment." " So much the' better," exclaimed she in a transport of joy ; 
 " you give me great pleasure by saying so, for my niece has the pipe 
 of a nightingale, and plays exquisitely on the lute : then her dancing 
 is in the finest style !" " Heavens and earth !" exclaimed I in my 
 turn, " here are accomplishments by wholesale, aunt ; more than 
 enough to make any girl's fortune ! Any one of those talents would 
 have been a sufficient dowry." 
 
 Having thus smoothed his reception, I waited for the prince's bed- 
 time. When it was near at hand, I gave my coachman his orders, 
 and went to the Count de Lemos, who told me that the prince, the 
 sooner to get rid of the people about him, meant to feign a slight in- 
 disposition, and even to go to bed, the better to cajole his attendants; 
 but that he would get up an hour afterwards, and go through a pri- 
 vate door to a back staircase leading into the court-yard. 
 
 Conformably with their previous arrangements, he fixed my sta- 
 tion. There had I to beat the hoof so long, that I began to suspect 
 our forward sprig of royalty had gone another way, or else had 
 changed his mind about Catalina ; just as if princes ever began to 
 be fickle till the goad of novelty and curiosity began to be blunted. 
 In short, I thought they had forgotten me. when two men came up. 
 Finding them to be my party, I led the way to my carriage, into 
 which they both got, and I upon the coach-box to direct the driver, 
 whom I stopped fifty yards from the house, whither we walked. 
 The door opened at our approach, and shut again as soon as we 
 got in. 
 
 At first we were in absolute darkness, as on my former visit, 
 though a small lamp was fixed to the wall on the present occasion. 
 But the light which it shed was so faint as only to render itself 
 visible without assisting us. All this served only to heighten the 
 romance in the fancy of its hero, fixed as he was in steadfast gaze 
 at the sight of the ladies as they received him in a saloon whose 
 brilliant illumination was more dazzling when contrasted with the 
 gloom of the avenue. The aunt and niece were in a tempting un-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 465 
 
 dress, where the science of coquetry was displayed in all its luxury 
 and absolute sway. Our prince could have been happy with Signora 
 Mencia, had the dear charmer Catalina been away; but as there was 
 a choice, the younger, according to the rules of precedency in the 
 court of Cupid, had the preference. 
 
 " Well, prince," said the Count de Lemos, " could you have de- 
 sired a better specimen of beauty ?" "They are both enchanting," 
 answered the prince, " and my heart may as well surrender at once ; 
 for the aunt would arrest it in its flight, if it attempted to sound a 
 retreat from the niece's all-subduing charms." 
 
 After such compliments as do not fall by wholesale to the share 
 of aunts, he addressed his choicest terms of flattery to Catalina, who 
 answered him in kind. As convenient personages of my stamp are 
 allowed to mingle in the conversation of lovers, for the purpose of 
 making fire hotter, I introduced the subject of singing and playing 
 on the lute. This was the signal of fresh rapture ; and the nymph, 
 the muse, the anything but mortal, was supplicated to outtune the 
 jingle of the spheres. She complied like a good-humored goddess ; 
 played some tender airs, and sung so deliciously, that the prince 
 flopped down on his knees in a tumult of love and pleasure. But 
 scenes like these are vapid in description: suffice it to say that 
 hours glided away like moments in this sweet delirium, till the 
 approach of day warned the sober plotters of the lunacy to provide 
 for their patient's safety and their own. When the parties were all 
 snugly housed, we gave ourselves as much credit for the negotiation 
 as if we had patched up a marriage with a princess. 
 
 The next morning the Duke of Lerma desired to know all the 
 particulars. Just as I had finished relating them, the Count de 
 Lemos came in, and said, "The Prince of Spain is so engrossed by 
 Catalina, he has taken so decided a fancy to her, that he actually 
 proposes to be constant. He wanted to have sent her jewels to the 
 amount of two thousand pistoles to-day, but his finances were 
 aground. 'My dear Lemos,' said he, addressing himself to me, 
 'you must absolutely get me that sum. I know it is very incon- 
 venient; you have pawned your credit for me already; but my 
 heart owns itself your debtor, and if ever I have the means of re- 
 turning your kindness by more than empty words, your fortunes 
 shall not suffer by your complaisance.' In answer, I assured him 
 that I had friends and credit, and promised to bring him what he 
 wanted." 
 
 " There is no difficulty about that," said the duke to his nephew. 
 
 " Santillane will bring you the money ; or, to save trouble, he may 
 
 purchase the jewels, for he is an admirable judge, especially of 
 
 rubies. Are you not, Gil Bias?" This stroke of satire was of 
 
 30
 
 466 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 course designed to entertain the count at my expense ; and it was 
 successful, for his curiosity could not but be excited to know the 
 meaning Of the mystery. " No mystery at all," replied his uncle, 
 with a broad laugh. " Only Santillane took it into his head one 
 day to exchange a diamond for a ruby, and the barter operated 
 equally to the advantage of his pocket and his penetration." 
 
 Had the minister stopped there I should have come off cheaply ; 
 but he took the trouble of dressing out in aggravated colors the 
 trick that Camilla and Don Raphael played me, with a most pro- 
 voking enlargement of the circumstances most to the disadvantage 
 of my sagacity. His excellency, having enjoyed his joke, ordered 
 me to attend the Count de Lemos to a jeweller's, where we selected 
 trinkets for the Prince of Spain's inspection, and they were en- 
 trusted to my care, to be delivered to Catalina. 
 
 There can be little doubt of my kind reception on the following 
 night, when I displayed a fine pair of drop ear-rings, as the presents 
 of my embassy. The two ladies, out of their wits at these costly 
 tokens of the prince's love, suffered their tongues to run into a gos- 
 siping strain, while they were thanking me for introducing them 
 into such worshipful society. In the excess of their joy, they forgot 
 themselves a little. There escaped now and then certain peculiar 
 idioms of speech, which made me suspect that the party in question 
 was no such dainty morsel for royalty to feed upon. To ascertain 
 precisely what degree of obligation I had conferred on the heir- 
 apparent, I took my leave with the intention of coming to a right 
 understanding with Scipio. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 CATALINA'S REAL CONDITION A WORRY AND ALARM TO GIL BLAS. HIS 
 
 PRECAUTIONS FOR HIS OWN EASE AND QUIET. 
 
 ON coming home, I heard a devil of a noise, and inquired what 
 was the meaning of it. They told me that Scipio was giving 
 a supper to half-a-dozen of his friends. They were singing as loud 
 as their lungs could roar, and threatening the stability of the house 
 with their protracted peals of laughter. This meal was not in all 
 respects the banquet of the seven wise men. 
 
 The founder of the feast, informed of my arrival, said to his com- 
 pany, " Sit still, gentlemen ; it is only the master of the house come
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 467 
 
 home; but that need not disturb you. Go on with your merry- 
 making ; I will just whisper a word in his ear, and be back again in 
 a moment." He came to me accordingly. " What an infernal din !" 
 said I. " What sort of company do you keep below ? Have you, 
 too, got in among the poets ?" " Thank you for nothing 1" answered 
 he. " Your wine is too good to be given to such gentry ; I turn it 
 to better account There is a young man of large property in my 
 party, who wishes to lay out your credit and his own money in the 
 purchase of a place. This little festivity is all for him. For every 
 glass he fills, I put on ten pistoles in addition to the regular fee. He 
 shall drink till he is under the table." " If that is the case," replied 
 I, " go to your presidentship, and do not spare the cellar." 
 
 Then was no proper time to talk about Catalina ; but the next 
 morning I opened the business thus : " Friend Scipio, the terms 
 we are upon entitle me to fair dealing. I have treated you more 
 like an equal than a servant, consequently you would be much to 
 blame to cheat me on the footing of a master. Let us, therefore, 
 have no secrets towards each other. I am going to tell you what 
 will surprise you ; and you, on your part, shall give me your sincere 
 opinion about the two women with whom you have brought me 
 acquainted. Between ourselves, I suspect them to be no better than 
 they should be, with so much the more of the knave in their com- 
 position because they affect the simpleton. If my conjecture be 
 right, the Prince of Spain has no great reason to be delighted with 
 my activity, for I will own to you frankly that it was for him I 
 spoke to you about a mistress. I brought him to see Catalina, and 
 he is over head and ears in love with her." " Sir," answered Scipio, 
 "you have dealt so handsomely by me, that I shall act upon the 
 square with you. I had yesterday a private interview with the 
 abigail, and she gave me a most entertaining history of the family. 
 You shall have it briefly, though it did not come briefly to me. 
 
 " Catalina was daughter to a sort of gentleman in Arragon. An 
 orphan at fifteen, with no fortune but a pretty face, she lent a com- 
 plying ear to an officer, who carried her off to Toledo, where he died 
 in six months, having been more like a father than a husband to 
 her. She collected his effects together, consisting of their joint ward- 
 robe and three hundred pistoles in ready money, and then went to 
 housekeeping with Signora Mencia, who was still in fashion, though 
 a little on the wane. These sisters, every way but in blood, began 
 to attract the attention of the police. The ladies took umbrage at 
 this, and decamped in dudgeon for Madrid, where they have been 
 living for these two years, without making any acquaintance in the 
 neighborhood. But now comes the best of the joke : they have 
 taken two small houses adjoining each other, with a passage of
 
 468 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 communication through the cellars. Signora Mencia lives with a 
 servant girl in one of these houses, and the officer's widow inhabits 
 the other, with an old duenna, whom she passes off for her grand- 
 mother, so that her versatile child of nature is sometimes a niece 
 brought up by her aunt, and sometimes an orphan under her 
 grandam's fostering wing. When she enacts the niece, her name is 
 Catalina, and when ske personates the granddaughter, she calls her- 
 self Sirena." 
 
 At the grating sound of Sirena I turned pale, and interrupted 
 Scipio, saying, " What do you tell me ? Alas ! it must be so. This 
 cursed imp of Arragon is Calderona's charming Siren." " To be 
 sure she is," answered he, " the very same. I \hought you would 
 be delighted at the news." " Quite the reverse," replied I. " It 
 portends more sorrow than laughter; do not you anticipate the 
 consequences?" "None of any ill omen," rejoined Scipio. "What 
 is there to be afraid of?* It is not certain that Don Rodrigo will 
 rub his forehead ; and in case any good-natured friend should show 
 it him in the glass, you had better let the minister into the secret 
 beforehand. Tell him all the circumstances straightforward as they 
 happened ; he will see that there has been no trick on your part ; 
 and if, after that, Calderona should attempt to do you an ill office 
 with his excellency, it will be as clear as daylight that he is only 
 actuated by a spirit of revenge." 
 
 Scipio removed all my apprehensions by this advice, which I fol- 
 lowed in acquainting the Duke of Lerma at once with this unlucky 
 discovery. My aspect, while telling my tale, was sorrowful and my 
 tone faltering, in evidence of my contrition for having unadvisedly 
 brought the Prince and Don Rodrigo into such close quarters; but 
 the minister was more disposed to roast his favorite than to pity 
 him. Indeed, he ordered me to let the matter take its own course, 
 considering it as a feather in Calderona's cap to dispute the empire 
 of love with so illustrious a rival, and not to be worse used than his 
 lawful prince. The Count de Lemos, too, was informed how things 
 stood, and promised me his protection if the first secretary should 
 come at the knowledge of the intrigue, and attempt to undermine 
 me with the duke. 
 
 Trusting to have secured the frail bark of my fortunes by this 
 notable contrivance from the rocks and quicksands that threatened 
 it, my mind was once more at rest. I continued attending the 
 prince on his visits to Catalina, siren-like in nature as in nick- 
 name, who was fertile in quaint devices to keep Don Rodrigo away 
 from next door, whenever the course of business required her to 
 devote her nights to his royal competitor.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 469 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 GIL BLAS GOBS ON PERSONATING THE GREAT MAN. HE HEARS NEWS 
 OF .HIS FAMILY. A GRAND QUARREL WITH FABRICIO. 
 
 I MENTIONED some time ago that in the morning there was 
 usually a crowd of people in my antechamber, coming to nego- 
 tiate little private concerns in the way of politics ; but I would 
 never suffer them to open their business by word of mouth ; but 
 adopting court precedent, or rather giving myself the airs of a Jack 
 in office, my language to every suitor was, " Send in a memorial on 
 the subject." My tongue ran so glibly to that tune, that one day I 
 gave my landlord the official answer, when he came to put me In 
 mind of a twelvemonth's rent in arrear. As for my butcher and 
 baker, they spared me the trouble of asking for their memorials, by 
 never giving me time to run up a bill. Scipio, who mimicked me 
 so exactly that only those behind the scenes could distinguish the 
 double from the principal performer, held his head just as high with 
 the poor devils who curried favor with him, as a step of the ladder 
 to my ministerial patronage. 
 
 There was another foolish trick of mine, of which I do not by any 
 means pretend to make a merit ; neither more nor less than the ex- 
 treme assurance of talking about the first nobility just as if I had 
 been one of their kidney. Suppose, for example, the Duke of Alva, 
 the Duke of Ossuna, or the Duke of Medina Sidonia were mentioned 
 in conversation ; I called them, without ceremony, my friend Alva, 
 that good-natured fellow Ossuna, or that comical dog Medina 
 Sidonia. In a word, my pride and vanity had swelled to such a 
 height, that my father and mother were no longer among the num- 
 ber of my honored relatives. Alas ! poor understrappers, I never 
 thought of asking whether you had sunk or were swimming in the 
 Asturias. A thought about you never came into my head. The court 
 has all the soporific virtues of Lethe in the case of poor relations. 
 
 My family was completely obliterated from the tablets of my 
 memory, when one morning a young man knocked at my door, and 
 begged to speak with me for a moment in private. He was shown 
 into my closet, where without asking him to take a chair, as he 
 seemed to be quite a common fellow, I desired to know abruptly 
 what he wanted. " How ! Signer Gil Bias," said he, " do you not 
 remember me?" It was in vain that I perused the lines of his face 
 over and over again ; I was obliged to tell him fairly that he had 
 the advantage of me. " Why, I am one of your old schoolfellows," 
 replied he, " bred and born in Oviedo : Bertrand Muscada, the
 
 470 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 grocer's son, next door neighbor to your uncle the canon. I recol- 
 lect you as well as if it was but yesterday. We have played a thou- 
 sand times together at blind man's buff and prison bars." 
 
 " My youthful recollections," answered I, " are very transient and 
 confused. Blind man's buff and prison bars are but childish amuse- 
 ment 1 The burden of state affairs leaves me little time to ruminate 
 on the trifles of my younger days." " I am come to Madrid," said 
 he, "to settle accounts with my father's correspondent. I heard 
 talk of you. Folks say that you have a good berth at court, and are 
 already almost as well off as a Jew broker. I thought I would just 
 call in and say, how d'ye do ? On my return into the country, your 
 family will jump out of their skins for joy, when they hear how 
 famously you are getting on." 
 
 It was impossible in decency to avoid asking how my father, my 
 mother, and my uncle stood in the world ; but that duty was per- 
 formed in so gingerly a manner as to leave the grocer little room to 
 compliment dame Nature on her liberal provision of instinct. He 
 seemed quite shocked at my indifference for such near kindred, and 
 told me bluntly, with his coarse shopman's familiarity, " Methinks 
 you might have shown more heartiness and natural feeling for your 
 kinsfolk! Why, you ask after them just as if they were vermin ! 
 Your father and mother are still at service ; take that in your dish ! 
 And the good canon, Gil Perez, eaten up with gout, rheumatism, 
 and old age, has one foot in the grave. People should feel as people 
 ought; and seeing that you are in a berth to be a blessing to your 
 poor parents, take a friend's advice, and allow them two hundred 
 pistoles a year. That will be doing a handsome thing, and making 
 them comfortable ; and then you may spend the rest upon yourself 
 ivith a good conscience." Instead of being softened by this family 
 picture, I only resented the ofliciousness of unasked advice. A more 
 delicate and covert remonstrance might perhaps have made its im- 
 pression, but so bold a rebuke only hardened my heart. My sulky 
 silence was not lost upon him, so that while he moralized himself 
 out of charity into downright abuse, my choler began to overflow. 
 " Nay, then 1 this is too much," answered I, in a devil of a passion. 
 " Get about your business, Master. Muscada, and mind your own 
 shop. You are a pretty fellow to preach to me ! As if I were to be 
 taught my duty by you !" Without further parley I handed the 
 grocer out of my closet by the shoulder, and sent him off to weigh 
 figs and nutmegs at Oviedo. 
 
 The home-strokes he had laid on were not lost to my sober recol- 
 lection. My neglect of filial piety struck home to my heart, and 
 melted me into tears. When I recollected how much my childhood 
 was indebted to my parents, what pain? they had taken in my edu-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 471 
 
 cation, these affecting thoughts gave language for the moment to the 
 still small voice of nature and gratitude ; but the language was never 
 translated into solid sense and service. An habitual callousness 
 succeeded this transient sensation, and peremptorily cancelled every 
 obligation of humanity. There are many fathers besides mine who 
 will acknowledge this portrait of their sons. 
 
 Avarice and ambition, dividing me between them, annihilated 
 every trace of my former temper. I lost all my gayety, became 
 absent and moping ; in short, a most unsociable animal. Fabricio, 
 seeing me so furiously bent on accumulation, and so perfectly indif- 
 ferent to him, very rarely came to see me. He could not help say- 
 ing one day, " In truth, Gil Bias, you are quite an altered man. 
 Before you were about the court, you were always pleasant and 
 easy. Now you are all agitation and turmoil. You form project 
 after project to make a fortune, and the more you realize, the wider 
 your views of aggrandizement extend. But this is not the worst ! 
 You have no longer that expansion of heart, those open manners, 
 which form the charm of friendship. On the contrary, you wrap 
 yourself round, and shut the avenues of your heart even to me. In 
 your very civilities I detect the violence you impose upon your- 
 self. In short, Gil Bias is no longer the same Gil Bias whom I once 
 knew." 
 
 " You really have a most happy talent for bantering," answered 
 I, with repulsive jocularity. " But this metamorphose into the shag 
 of a savage is not perceptible to myself." "Your own eyes," replied 
 he, " are insensible to the change, because they are fascinated. But 
 the fact remains the same. Now, my friend, tell me fairly and 
 honestly, shall we live together as heretofore? When I used to 
 knock at your door in the morning, you came and opened it your- 
 self, between asleep and awake, and I walked in without ceremony. 
 Now, what a difference ! You have an establishment of servants. 
 They keep me cooling my heels in your antechamber ; my name 
 must be sent in before I can speak to you. When this is got over, 
 what is my reception? A cold inclination of the head, and the in- 
 solent strut of office. Any one would suppose that my visits were 
 growing troublesome ! Can you suppose this to be treatment for a 
 man who was once on equal terms with you? No, Santillane, it can 
 never be, nor will I bear it longer. Farewell. Let us part without 
 ill blood. We shall both be better asunder ; you will get rid of a 
 troublesome censor, and I of a purse-proud upstart who does not 
 know himself." 
 
 I felt myself more exasperated than reformed by his reproaches, 
 and suffered him to take his departure without the slightest effort 
 to overcome his resolution. In the present temper of my mind, the
 
 472 
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 friendship of a poet did not seem a catch of sufficient importance 
 to break one's heart about its loss. I found ample amends in the 
 intimacy of some subaltern attendants upon the king's person, with 
 whom a similarity of humor had lately connected me closely. These 
 new acquaintances of mine were for the most part men from no one 
 knows where, pushed up to their appointments more by luck than 
 merit. They had all got into warm berths,, and, wretches as they 
 were, measuring their own consequence by the excess of royal 
 bounty, forgot their origin as scandalously as I forgot mine. We 
 gave ourselves infinite credit for what told so much and bitterly to 
 our disgrace. O Fortune ! what a jade you are, to distribute your 
 favors at hap-hazard as you do! Epictetus was perfectly in the 
 right when he likened you to a jilt of fashion, prowling about in 
 masquerade, and tipping the wink to every blackguard who parades 
 the street
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 473 
 
 BOOK IX. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 SCIPIO'S SCHEME OF MARRIAGE FOR GIL BLAS. THE MATCH, A RICH 
 GOLDSMITH'S DAUGHTER. 
 
 ONE evening, on the departure of my supper company, finding 
 myself alone with Scipio, I asked him what he had been 
 doing that day. " Striking a master-stroke," answered he. " I 
 intend that you shall marry. A goldsmith of my acquaintance 
 has an only daughter, and I mean to make up a match between 
 you." 
 
 "A goldsmith's daughter !" exclaimed I, with a disdainful air ; 
 " are you out of your senses ? Can you think of tying me up to a 
 trinket-maker? People of a certain character in society, and on a 
 certain footing at court, ought to have much higher views of things." 
 " Pardon me, sir," rejoined Scipio ; " do not take the subject up in 
 that light. Recollect that nobility accrues by the male side, and do 
 not ride a higher horse than a thousand jockeys of quality whom I 
 could name. Do you know that the heiress in question will bring 
 a hundred thousand ducats in her pocket ? Is not that a pretty 
 little sprig of jewelry?" To the resounding echo of so large a sum 
 my ears were instantly symphonious. " The day is your own," said 
 I to the secretary ; " the fortune determines the case in the lady's 
 favor. When do you mean to put me in possession ?" " Fair and 
 softly, sir," answered he; "the more haste, the worse speed It will 
 be necessary for me first to communicate the affair to the father, and 
 instill the advantage of it into his capacity." " Good !" rejoined I, 
 with a burst of laughter; "is it thereabouts you are? The match 
 is far advanced in its progress towards consummation." " Much 
 nearer than you suppose," replied he. " But one hour's conversa- 
 tion with the goldsmith, and I pledge myself for his consent. But, 
 before we go any farther, let us come to an agreement, if you please. 
 Supposing that I should transfer a hundred thousand ducats to you, 
 what would my commission be ?" " Twenty thousand I" was my 
 answer. " Heaven be praised -therefor," said he. " I guessed your 
 gratitude at ten thousand ; so that it doubles mine in a similar 
 case. Come on then ! I will set this negotiation on foot to-morrow 
 morning ; and you may count upon its success, or I am little better 
 than one of the foolish ones."
 
 474 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 Two days afterwards he said to me, " I have spoken to Signer 
 Gabriel Salero, my friend the goldsmith. On the loud report of 
 your high desert and credit, he has lent a favorable ear to my offer 
 of you for a son-in-law. You are to have his daughter with a hun- 
 dred thousand ducats, provided you can make it appear clearly that 
 you are in possession of the minister's good graces." " Since that is 
 the case," said I confidently to Scipio, " I shall soon be married. 
 But, not entirely to forget the girl, have you seen her? Is she 
 pretty ?" " Not quite so pretty as her fortune," answered he. " Be- 
 tween ourselves, this heiress's looks are as hard as her cash. Luckily, 
 you are perfectly indifferent about that." " Stone blind, by the light 
 of the sun, my good fellow !" replied I. "As for us whimsical fel- 
 lows about court, we marry merely for the sake of marrying. When 
 we want beauty, we look for it in our friends' wives ; and if, by fates 
 and destinies, the sweets are wasted on our own, their flavor is so 
 mawkish to our palate, that there is some merit in their not carrying 
 the commodity to a foreign market." 
 
 "This is not all," resumed Scipio: "Signer Gabriel hopes for the 
 pleasure of your company to supper this evening. By agreement, 
 there is to be no mention of marriage. He has invited several of 
 his mercantile friends to this entertainment, where you will take 
 your chance with the rest, and to-morrow he means to sup with you 
 on the same terms. By this you will perceive his drift of looking 
 before he leaps. You will do well to be a little on your guard be- 
 fore him." " O, for the matter of that," interrupted I, with an air 
 of confidence, " let him scrutinize me as closely as he pleases, the 
 result cannot fail to be in my favor." 
 
 All this happened as it was foretold. I was introduced at the 
 goldsmith's, who received me with the familiarity of an old ac- 
 quaintance. A vulgar dog, but warm ; and as troublesome with his 
 civility as a prude with her virtue. He presented me to Signora 
 Eugenia his wife, and the youthful Gabriela his daughter. I opened 
 wide my budget of compliments, without infringing the treaty, 
 and prattled soft nothings to them, in all the vacuity of courtly 
 dialogue. 
 
 Gabriela, with submission to my secretary's better taste, was not 
 altogether so repulsive, whether by dint of being outrageously be- 
 dizened, or because I looked at her in the raree-show box of her for- 
 tune. A charming house this of Signor Gabriel ! There is less 
 silver, I verily believe, in the Peruvian mines, than under his roof. 
 That metal presented itself to the view in all directions, under a 
 thousand different forms. Every room, and especially that where we 
 were entertained, was a fairy palace. What a bird's-eye view for a 
 son-in-law ! The old codger, to do the thing genteelly, had collected
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 475 
 
 five or six merchants about him, all plodding, spirit-wearing person- 
 ages. Their tongues could only talk of what their hearts were set 
 upon : it was high change all supper-time ; but unfortunately wit 
 was at a discount. 
 
 Next night it was my turn to treat the goldsmith. Not being able 
 to dazzle him with my sideboard, I had recourse to another artifice. 
 I invited to supper such of my friends as made the finest figure at 
 court; hangers-on of state, noted for the unwieldiness of their am- 
 bition. These fellows could not talk on common topics : the brilliant 
 and lucrative posts at which they aimed were all canvassed in de- 
 tail ; this too made its way. Poor counting-house Gabriel, in amaze- 
 ment at the loftiness of their ideas, shrunk into insignificance, in 
 spite of all his hoards, on a comparison with these wonderful men. 
 As for me, in all the plausibility of moderation, I professed to wish 
 for nothing more than a comfortable fortune ; a snug box and a com- 
 petence : whereupon these gluttons of the loaves and fishes cried out 
 with one voice that I was wrong, absolutely criminal ; for the prime 
 minister would do anything upon earth for me, and it was an act of 
 duty to anoint my fingers with bird-lime. My honored papa lost 
 not a word of all this, and seemed, at going away, to take his leave 
 with some complacency. 
 
 Scipio went, of course, the next morning, to ask him how he liked 
 me. " Extremely well indeed," answered the knight of the ledger ; 
 " the lad has won my very heart. But, good master Scipio, I con- 
 jure you by our long acquaintance to deal with me as a true friend. 
 We have all our weak side, as you well know. Tell me where Sig- 
 nor de Santillane is fallible. Is he fond of play ? Does he wench ? 
 On what lay are his snug little vices? Do not fight shy, I beseech 
 you." " It is very unkind, Signer Gabriel, to put such a question," 
 retorted the go-between. " Your interest is more to me than my 
 master's. If he has any slippery propensities, likely to make your 
 daughter unhappy, would I ever have proposed him as a son-in-law ? 
 The deuce a bit ! I am too much at your service. But, between 
 ourselves, he has but one fault that of being faultless. He is too 
 wise for a young man." "So much the better," replied the gold- 
 smith ; " he is the more like me. You may go, my friend, and tell 
 him he shall have my daughter, and should have her though he 
 knew no more of the minister than I do." 
 
 As soon as my secretary had reported this conversation, I flew to 
 thank Salero for his partiality. He had already told his mind to 
 his wife and daughter, who gave me to understand, by their recep- 
 tion, that they yielded without disgust. I carried my father-in-law 
 to the Duke of Lerma, whom I had informed the evening before, 
 and presented him with due ceremony. His excellency gave him a
 
 476 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 most gracious reception, and congratulated him on having chosen a 
 man for his son-in-law for whom he himself had so great a regard, 
 and meant to do such great things. Then did he expatiate on my 
 good qualities, and, in fact, said so much to my honor, that honest 
 Gabriel thought he had met with the best match in Spain. His joy 
 oozed out at his eyes. On parting, he pressed me in his arms, and 
 said, "My son, I am so impatient to see you Gabriela's husband, 
 that the affair shall be finally settled within a week at latest." 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 GIL BLAS REMEMBERS DON ALPHONSO DE LEYVA, AND BENDERS HIM 
 A SERVICE FROM MOTIVES OF VANITY. 
 
 T ET us leave my marriage to take care of itself for a season. 
 I J The order of events requires me to recount a service rendered 
 tc my old master Don Alphonso. I had entirely forgotten that 
 gentleman's existence ; but a circumstance recalled it to my recol- 
 lection. 
 
 The government of Valencia became vacant at this time, and put 
 me in mind of Don Alphonso de Leyva. I considered within myself 
 that the employment would suit him to a nicety, and determined to 
 apply for it on his behalf, not so much out of friendship as ostenta- 
 tion. If I could but procure it for him, it would do me infinite 
 honor. I told the Duke of Lerma that I had been steward to Don 
 Caesar de Leyva and his son, and that, having every reason in the 
 world to feel myself obliged to them, I should take it as a favor if 
 he would give the government of Valencia to one or other of them. 
 The minister answered, " Most willingly, Gil Bias. I love to see 
 you grateful and generous. Besides, the family stands very high 
 in my esteem. The Leyvas are loyal subjects ; so that the place 
 cannot be better bestowed. You may take it as a wedding present, 
 and do what you like with it." 
 
 Delighted at the success of my application, I went to Calderona 
 in a prodigious hurry, to get the patent made out for Don Alphonso. 
 There was a great crowd waiting in respectful silence till Don Eod- 
 rigo should come and give audience. I made my way through, and 
 the closet door opened as if by sympathy. There were no one knows 
 how many military and civil officers, with other people of conse- 
 quence, among whom Calderona was dividing his attentions. His
 
 ADVENTU11ES OF GIL BIAS. 477 
 
 different reception of different people was curious. A slight incli- 
 nation of the head was enough for some ; others he honored with 
 a profusion of courtly grimace, and bowed them out of the closet. 
 The proportions of civility were weighed to a scruple. On the other 
 hand, there were some suitors who, shocked at his cold indifference, 
 cursed in their secret soul the necessity for their cringing before 
 such a monkey of an idol. Others, on the contrary, were laughing 
 in their sleeve at his gross and self-sufficient air. But the scene 
 was thrown away upon me ; nor was I likely to profit by such a 
 lesson. It was exactly the counterpart of my own behavior ; and 
 I never thought of ascertaining whether my deportment was popular 
 or offensive, so long as there was no violation of outward respect. 
 
 Don Rodrigo, accidentally casting a look towards me, left a gentle- 
 man, to whom he was speaking, without ceremony, and came to pay 
 his respects with the most unaccountable tokens of high consider- 
 ation. " Ah, my dear colleague !" exclaimed he, " what occasion 
 procures me the pleasure of seeing you here? Is there anything 
 we can do for you ?" I told him my business ; whereupon he assured 
 me, in the most obliging terms, that the affair should be expedited 
 within four-and-tweuty hours. Not satisfied with these overwhelm- 
 ing condescensions, he conducted me to the door of his antechamber, 
 whither he never attended any but the nobility of first rank. His 
 farewell was as flattering as his reception. 
 
 "What is the meaning of all this palaver?" said I, while retreat- 
 ing ; " has any raven croaked my entrance, and prophesied promo- 
 tion to Calderona by my overthrow? Does he really languish for 
 my friendship? or does he feel the ground giving way under his 
 feet, and wish to save himself by clinging to the branches of my 
 favor and protection ?" It seemed a moot point which of these con- 
 jectures might be the right. The following day, on my return, his 
 behavior was of the same stamp ; caresses and civilities poured in 
 upon me in torrents. It is true that other people, who attempted 
 to speak to him, were rumped in exact proportion with the blandish- 
 ments of his face towards me. He snarled at some, petrified others, 
 and made the whole circle run the gantlet of his displeasure. But 
 they were all amply avenged by an occurrence, the relation of which 
 may give a gentle hint to all the clerks and secretaries on the list of 
 my readers. 
 
 A man very plainly dressed, and certainly not looking at all like 
 what he was, came up to Calderona, and spoke to him about a 
 memorial stated to have been presented by himself to the Duke of 
 Lerma. Don Rodrigo, without looking from his clothes up to his 
 face, said in a sharp, ungracious tone, " Who may you happen to 
 be, honest man ?" " They called me Francillo in my childhood,"
 
 478 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 answered the stranger, unabashed; "my next style and title was 
 that of Don Francillo de Zuniga ; and my present name is the Count 
 de Pedrosa." Calderona was all in a twitter at this discovery, and 
 attempted to stammer out an excuse, when he found that he had to 
 do with a man of the first quality. " Sir," said he to the count, " I 
 have to beg you ten thousand pardons ; but not knowing whom I 
 had the honor to " ..." I want none of your apologies," inter- 
 rupted Francillo, with proud indignation ; " they are as nauseous 
 as your rudeness was unbecoming. Recollect henceforth that a 
 minister's secretary ought to receive all descriptions of people with 
 good manners. You may be vain enough to affect the representative 
 of your master, but the public know you for his menial servant." 
 
 The haughty Don Rodrigo blushed blue at this rebuke. Yet it 
 did not mend his manners one whit. On me it made a salutary 
 impression. I determined to take care and ascertain the rank of 
 my petitioners before I gave a loose to the insolence of office, and 
 to inflict torture only upon mutes. As Don Alphonso's patent was 
 made out, I sent it by a special messenger, with a letter from the 
 Duke of Lerma, announcing the royal favor. But I took no notice 
 of my own share in the appointment, nor even accompanied it with 
 a line, in the fond hope of announcing it by word of mouth, and 
 surprising him agreeably, when he came to court on occasion of 
 taking the customary oaths. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 PBEPABATIONS FOE THE MARRIAGE OF GIL BLAS. A SPOKE IN THE 
 WHEEL OF HYMEN. 
 
 AND now once more for my lovely Gabriela ! We were to be 
 married in a week. Preparations were making on both sides 
 for the ceremony. Salero ordered a rich wardrobe for the bride, 
 and I hired a waiting- woman for her, a footman, and a gentleman 
 usher of decent aspect and advanced years. The whole establish- 
 ment was provided by Scipio, who longed more ardently than my- 
 self for the hour when we were to be fingering the fortune. 
 
 On the evening before the happy day, I was supping with my 
 father-in-law, the rest of the company being made up of uncles, 
 aunts, and cousins, of either sex and every degree. The part of a 
 Bupple-visaged son-in-law sat upon me to perfection. Nothing
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 479 
 
 could exceed my profound respect for the goldsmith and his wife, 
 or the transports of my passion at Gabriela's feet, while I smoothed 
 my way into the graces of the family, by listening with impregnable 
 patience to their witless repartees and irrational ratiocinations. 
 Thus did I gain the great end of all my forbearance the pleasure 
 of pleasing my new relations. Every individual of the clan felt 
 himself a foot taller for the honor of my alliance. 
 
 The repast ended, the company moved into a large room, where 
 we were entertained with a concert of vocal and instrumental music, 
 not the worst that was ever heard, though the performers were not 
 selected from the choicest bands of Madrid. Some lively airs put 
 us in mind of dancing. Heaven knows what sort of performers we 
 must have been, when they took me for the coryphaeus of the opera, 
 though I never had but two or three lessons from a petty dancing- 
 master, who taught the pages on the establishment of the Mar- 
 chioness de Chaves. After we had tired our tendons, it was time to 
 think of going home. There was no end of my bows and God bless 
 you's. " Farewell, my dear son-in-law !" said Salero, as he squeezed 
 my hand ; " I shall be at your house in the morning with the por- 
 tion in ready money." " You will be welcome, come when you 
 list, my dear father-in-law," answered I. Afterwards, wishing the 
 family good-night, I jumped into my carriage, and ordered it to 
 drive home. 
 
 Scarcely had I got two hundred yards from Signor Gabriel's 
 house, when fifteen or twenty men, some on foot and some on 
 horseback, all with swords and firearms, surrounded and stopped 
 the coach, crying out, "In the name of our .sovereign lord the 
 king !" They dragged me out by main force, and thrust me into a 
 hack-chaise, when the leader of the party got in with me, and 
 ordered the driver to go for Segovia. There comld be no doubt but 
 the honest gentleman by my side was an alguazil. I wanted to know 
 something about the cause of my arrest ; but he answered in the 
 language of those gentry, which is very bad language, that he had 
 other things to do than to satisfy my impertinent curiosity. I 
 suggested that he might have mistaken his man. " No, no," re- 
 torted he : " the fool is wiser than that. You are Signor de Santil- 
 lane, and in that case you are to go along with me." Not being able 
 to deny that fact, it became an act of prudence to hold my tongue. 
 For the remainder of the night we traversed Mancanarez in sulky 
 silence, changed horses at Colmenar, and arrived the next evening 
 at Segovia, where the lodging provided for me was in the tower.
 
 480 ADVENTURES OF GIL JJLAS. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 THE TREATMENT OF GIL BLAS IN THE TOWER OF SEGOVIA. THE 
 CAUSE OF HIS IMPRISONMENT. 
 
 THEIR first favor was to clap me in a cell, where they left me 
 on the straw like a criminal, whose only earthly portion was 
 to con over his dying speech in solitude. I passed the night, not in 
 bewailing my fate, for it had not yet presented itself in all its 
 aggravation, but in endeavoring to divine its cause. Doubtless it 
 must have been Calderona's handiwork. And yet, though his 
 branching honors might have pressed thick upon his senses, I could 
 not conceive how the Duke of Lerma could have been induced to 
 treat me so inhumanly Sometimes I apprehended my arrest to 
 have been without his excellency's knowledge; at other times I 
 thought him the contriver of it, for some political reasons, such as 
 weigh with ministers when they sacrifice their accomplices at the 
 shrine of state policy. 
 
 My mind was vibrating to and fro with these various conjectures, 
 when the dawn, peeping in at my little grated window, presented to 
 my sight all the horror of the place where I was confined. Then 
 did I vent my sorrows without ceasing, and my eyes became two 
 springs of tears, flowing inexhaustibly at the remembrance of my 
 prosperous state. Pending this paroxysm of grief, a turnkey brought 
 me my day's allowance of bread and water. He looked at me, and 
 on the contemplation of my tear-besprinkled visage, jailer as he 
 was, there came over him a sentiment of pity : " Do not despair," 
 said he. " This life is full of crosses, but mind them not, You are 
 young ; after these days, you will live to see better. In the mean- 
 time, eat at the king's mess with what appetite you may." 
 
 My comforter withdrew with this quaint invitation, answered by 
 my groans and tears. The rest of the day was spent in cursing my 
 wayward destiny, without thinking of my empty stomach. As for 
 the royal morsel, it seemed more like the message of wrath than 
 the boon of benevolence ; the tantalizing protraction of pain, rather 
 than the solace of affliction. 
 
 Night came, and with it the rattle of a key in my keyhole. My 
 dungeon door opened, and in came a man with a wax-light in his 
 hand. He advanced towards me, saying, "Signer Gil Bias, behold 
 in me one of your old friends. I am Don Andrew de Tordesillas, 
 in the Archbishop of Granada's service while you enjoyed that pre- 
 late's favor. You may recollect engaging his interest in my behalf, 
 and thereby procuring me a post in Mexico ; but instead of em-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 481 
 
 barking for the Indies, I stopped in the town of Alicant. There I 
 married the governor's daughter, and by a series of adventures of 
 which you shall hereafter have the particulars, I am now warden of 
 this tower. It is expressly forbidden me to let you speak to any 
 living soul, to give you any better bed than straw, or any other sus- 
 tenance than bread and water. But besides that your misfortunes 
 interest my humanity, you have done me service, and gratitude 
 countervails the harshness of my orders. They think to make me 
 the instrument of their cruelty, but it is my better purpose to soften 
 the rigor of your captivity, Get up and follow me." 
 
 Though my humane keeper was entitled to some acknowledgment, 
 my spirits were so affected as to interdict my speech. All I could 
 do was to attend him. We crossed a court, and mounted a narrow 
 staircase to a little room at the top of the tower. It was no small 
 surprise, on entering, to find a table, with lights on it, neatly set out 
 with covers for two, " They will serve up immediately," said Tor- 
 desillas. " We are going to sup together. This snug retreat is ap- 
 pointed for your lodging , it will agree better with you than your 
 cell. From your window you will look down on the flowery banks 
 of the Erema, and the delicious vale of Coca, bounded by the moun- 
 tains which divide the two Castilles. At first you will care little for 
 the prospects , but when time shall have softened your keener sen- 
 sations into a composed melancholy, it will be a pleasure to feast 
 your eyes on such engaging scenes. Then, as for linen and other 
 necessaries befitting a man accustomed to the comforts of life, they 
 shall be always a your service. Your bed and board shall be such 
 as you could wish, with a plentiful supply of books. In a word, 
 you shall have everything but your liberty ." 
 
 My spirits were a little tranquillized by these obliging offers. I 
 took courage, and returned my best thanks, assuring him that his 
 generous conduct restored me to life, and that I hoped at some time 
 or other to find an opportunity of testifying my gratitude. " To be 
 sure; and why should you not?" answered he. "Did you fancy 
 yourself a prisoner for life ? Nothing less likely ! and I would lay 
 a wager that you will be released in a very few months." " What 
 say you, Signor Don Andrew?" exclaimed I. "Then surely you 
 are acquainted with the occasion of my misfortune." " You guess 
 rightly," replied he. " The alguazil who brought you hither told me 
 the whole story in confidence. The king, hearing that the Count de 
 Lemos and you were in the habit of escorting the Prince of Spain 
 by night to a house of a suspicious character, as a punishment for 
 your loose morals has banished the count, and sent you hither, to 
 be treated in the style of which you have had a specimen." "And 
 how," said I, "did that circumstance come to the king's knowledge? 
 31
 
 482 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 That is what I am most curious to ascertain." " And that," an- 
 swered he, " is precisely what the alguazil did not tell, apparently 
 because he did not know." 
 
 At this epoch of our conversation, the servants brought in supper. 
 When everything was set in order, Tordesillas sent away the attend- 
 ants, not wishing our conversation to be overheard. He shut the 
 door, and we took our seats opposite to each other. "Let us say 
 grace, and fall to," said he. " Your appetite ought to be good after 
 two days of fasting." Under this impression he loaded my plate 
 as if he had been cramming the craw of a starveling. In fact, 
 nothing was more likely than that I should play the devil among 
 the ragouts; but what is likely does, not always happen. Though 
 my intestines were yearning for support, their staple stuck in my 
 throat, for my heart loathed all pleasurable indulgence in the pre- 
 sent state of my affairs. In vain did my warden, to drive away the 
 blue devils, pledge me continually, and expatiate on the excellence 
 of his wine ; imperishable nectar would have been pricked, accord- 
 ing to the fastidious report of my palate. This being the case, he 
 went another way to work, and told me the story of his marriage, 
 with as much humor as such a subject would admit. Here he was 
 still less successful. So wandering was my attention, that before the 
 end, I had forgotten the beginning and the middle. At length he 
 was convinced that there was no diverting my gloomy thoughts for 
 that evening. After finishing his solitary supper, he rose from table, 
 saying, " Signor de Santillane, I shall leave you to your repose, or 
 rather to the free indulgence of your own reveries. But, take my 
 word for it, your misfortune will not be of long continuance. The 
 king is naturally good. When his anger shall have passed away, 
 and your deplorable estate shall occur to his milder thoughts, your 
 punishment will appear sufficient in his eyes." With these words, 
 my kind-hearted jailer went down stairs, and sent the servants to 
 take away. Not even the brass candlesticks were left behind ; and 
 I went to bed by the palpable darkness of a glimmering lamp sus- 
 pended against the wall.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 483 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 HIS REFLECTIONS BEFORE HE WENT TO SLEEP THAT NIGHT, AND THE 
 NOISE THAT WAKED HIM. 
 
 TWO hours at least were my thoughts employed on what Tor- 
 desillas had told me. " Here then am I, for having lent myself 
 to the pleasures of the heir-apparent ! It was certainly not having 
 my wits about me, to pander for so young a prince. Therein con- 
 sists my crime : had he been arrived at a more knowing age, the 
 king perhaps might only have laughed at what has now made him 
 so angry. But who can have given such counsel to the monarch, 
 without dreading the prince's resentment or the Duke of Lerma's ? 
 That minister will doubtless take ample vengeance for his nephew 
 the Count de Lemos. How can the king have made the discovery ? 
 That is above my comprehension." 
 
 This last was the eternal burden of my song. But the idea most 
 afflictive to my mind, what drove me to despair, and laid fiend-like 
 hold upon my fancy, was the unquestioned plunder of my effects. 
 " My strong box," exclaimed I, " my dear wealth, what is become of 
 you ? Into what hands have you fallen ? Alas ! you are lost in less 
 time than you were gained.!" The ruinous confusion of my house- 
 hold was the perpetual death's-head of my imagination. Yet this 
 wilderness of melancholy ideas sheltered me from absolute distrac- 
 tion ; sleep, which, had shunned my wretched straw, now paid his 
 readier visit to my soft and gentlemanly couch. Watching and 
 wine, too, imparted -a .strong narcotic to his poppies. My slumbers 
 were profound ; and to all appearance, the day might have peeped 
 in upon my repose, if I had not been awakened all at once by such 
 sounds as rarely perforate a prison wall. I heard the thrum of a 
 guitar, accompanying a man's voice. My whole attention was ab- 
 sorbed ; but the invisible musician paused, and left the fleeting im- 
 pression of a dream. An instant afterwards, my ear was soothed 
 with the sound of the same instrument, and the same voice. 
 
 Wisely the ant against poor winter hoards 
 The stock which summer's wealth affords ; 
 In gfasshoppers, that must at autumn die, 
 How vain were such an industry I 
 
 Of love or fortune the deceitful light 
 Might half excuse our cheated sight, 
 If it of life the whole small time would stay, 
 And be our sunshine all the day.* 
 
 * To have substituted, with a slight variation, these two stanzas from Cowley for a 
 translation of the commonplace couplet in the original, will not be thought to require
 
 484 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 These verses, which sounded as if they had been sung e-xpressly 
 for the dirge of my departed happiness, were only an aggravation of 
 my feelings. " The truth of the sentiment," said I, " is but too well 
 exemplified in me. The meteor of court favor has but plunged me 
 in substantial darkness , the summer sunshine of ambition is 
 quenched in these autumnal glooms." Now did I sink again into 
 cold and comfortless meditation ; my miseries began to flow afresh, 
 as if they fed and grew upon their own vital stream. Yet my wail- 
 ings ended with the night; and the first rays which played upon my 
 chamber wall amused my mind into composure. I got up to open 
 my window, and let the vivid air of morning into my room. Then 
 I glanced over the country, so attractively depicted in the descrip- 
 tion of my keeper. It did not seem to justify this panegyric. The 
 ErSma, a second Tagus in my magnifying fancy, was little better 
 than a brook. Its flowery banks were fringed with nettles, and 
 arrayed in all the majesty of thistles ; the delicious vale in this fairy 
 prospect was a barren wilderness, untamed by human labor. It 
 therefore was very evident that my keener sensations were not yet 
 softened into such a composed melancholy as could give any but a 
 jaundiced coloring to the landscape. 
 
 I began dressing, and had already half finished my toilet, when 
 Tordesillas ushered in an old chambermaid, laden with shirts and 
 towels. " Signer Gil Bias," said he, ' here is your linen. Do not 
 be saving of it ; there shall always be as many changes as you can 
 possibly want. Well now ! and how have you passed the night ? 
 Has the drowsy god administered his anodyne?" "I could have 
 slept till this time," answered I, " if I had not been awakened by a 
 voice singing to a guitar." " The cavalier who has disturbed your 
 repose," resumed he, " is a state prisoner ; and his chamber is con- 
 tiguous to yours. He is a knight of the military order of Calatrava, 
 and is a very accomplished person. His name is Don Gaston de 
 Cogollos. You may meet as often as you like, and take your meals 
 together. It will afford reciprocal consolation to compare your for- 
 tunes. There can be no doubt of your being agreeable to one 
 another." I assured Don Andrew how sensible I was of his indul- 
 gence in allowing me to blend my sorrows with those of my fellow- 
 sufferer ; and, as I betrayed some impatience to be acquainted with 
 him, our accommodating warden met my wishes on the very same 
 day. He fixed me to dine with Don Gaston, whose prepossessing 
 physiognomy and symmetry of feature struck me sensibly. Judge 
 what it must have been to make so strong an impression on eyes ac- 
 customed to encounter the dazzling exterior of the court. Figure to 
 
 any apology. They necessarily involve a change in the consequent reflections of our 
 hero. TBAXSLATOB.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 485 
 
 yourself a man fashioned in the mould of pleasure ; one of those 
 heroes in romance, who has only to show his face, and banish sweet 
 sleep from the eyelids of princesses. Add to this, that nature, 
 who is generally bountiful with one hand and niggardly with the- 
 other, had crowned the perfections of Cogollos with wit and valor. 
 He was a man whose like, take him for all in all, we might not soon 
 look upon again. 
 
 If this fine fellow was mightily to my taste, it was my good luck 
 not to be altogether offensive to him. He no longer sang at night 
 for fear of annoying me, though I begged him by no means to re- 
 strain his inclinations on my account. A bond of union is soon 
 formed between brethren in misfortune. A close friendship suc- 
 ceeded to mere acquaintance, and strengthened from day to day. 
 The liberty of uninterrupted intercourse contributed greatly to our 
 mutual support ; our burden became lighter by division. 
 
 One day after dinner I went into his room, just as he was tuning 
 his guitar. To hear him more at my ease, I sat down on the only 
 stool ; while he, reclining on his bed, played a pathetic air, and sang 
 to it a ditty expressing the despair of a lover and the cruelty of his 
 mistress. When he had finished, I said to him with a smile, " Sir 
 knight, such strains as these could never be applicable to your own 
 successes with the fair. You were not made to cope with female re- 
 pulse." ".You think too well of me," answered he. "The verses 
 you have just heard were composed to fit my own case to soften a 
 heart of adamant. You must hear my story, and in my story, my 
 distresses." 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 HISTORY OF DON GA8TON DE COGOLLOS AND DONNA HELENA DE 
 GALISTEO. 
 
 a T~T w jn b e ver y soon f our years since I left Madrid to go and see 
 I my aunt Donna Eleonora de Laxarilla at Coria : she is one of 
 the richest dowagers in Old Castille, with myself for her only heir. 
 Scarcely had I got within her doors, when love invaded my repose. 
 The windows of my room faced the lattice of a lady living opposite; 
 but the street was narrow, and her blinds pervious to the eye. It 
 was an opportunity too delicious to be lost, and I found my neigh- 
 bor so lovely that my heart was captivated. The subject of my 
 sentry-watch could not be mistaken. She marked it well ; but she
 
 486 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 was not a girl to glory in the detection, still less to encourage my 
 fooleries. 
 
 " It was natural to inquire the name of this mighty conqueror. 
 I learned it to be Donna Helena, only daughter of Don George de 
 Galisteo, lord of a large domain near Coria. She had innumerable 
 offers of marriage ; but her father repulsed them all, because he 
 meant to bestow her hand on his nephew, Don Austin de Olighera, 
 who had uninterrupted access to his cousin while the settlements 
 were preparing. This was no bar to my hopes : on the contrary, it 
 whetted my eagerness, and the insolent pleasure of supplanting a 
 favored rival was, perhaps, at bottom equally my motive with a more 
 noble passion. My visual artillery was obstinately planted against 
 my unyielding fair. Her attendant Felicia was not without any in- 
 cense of a glance, to soften her rigid constancy in my favor, while 
 nods and becks stood for the current coin of language. But all 
 these efforts of gallantry were in vain the maid was impregnable 
 like her mistress never was there such a pair of cold and cruel 
 ones. 
 
 " The commerce of the eyes being so unthrifty, I had recourse to 
 different agents. My scouts were on the watch to hunt out what 
 acquaintance Felicia might have in town. They discovered an old 
 lady, by name Theodora, to be -her most intimate friend, and that 
 they often met. Delighted at the intelligence, I went pint blank 
 to Theodora, and engaged her by presents in my interest. She took 
 my cause up heartily, promised to contrive an interview for me with 
 her friend, and kept her engagement the very next day. 
 
 " ' I am no longer the wretch of yesterday,' said I to Felicia, 
 ' since my sufferings have melted you to pity. How deep is my 
 debt to your friend for her kind interference in my behalf!' 'Sir,' 
 answered she, ' Theodora can do what she pleases with me. She has 
 brought me over to your side of the question ; and if I can do you a 
 kindness, you shall soon be at the summit of your wishes ; but, with 
 all my partiality in your favor, I know not how far my efforts may 
 be successful. It would be cruel to mislead you ; the prize will not 
 be gained without a severe conflict. The object of your passion is 
 betrothed to another gentleman, and her character most inauspi- 
 cious to your designs. Such is her pride, and so closely locked are 
 her secrets within her own breast, that if, by constancy and assid- 
 uities, you could extort from her a few sighs, fancy not that her 
 haughty spirit would indulge your ears with their music.' ' Ah ! 
 my dear Felicia,' exclaimed I, in an agony, ' why will you thus 
 magnify the obstacles in my way ? To set them in array will kill 
 me. Lead me on with false hopes,.if you will, but do not drive me 
 to despair.' With these words I took one of her hands, pressed it
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 487 
 
 between *mine, and slid a diamond on her finger, value three hun- 
 dred pistoles, with such a moving compliment as made her weep 
 again. 
 
 "Such speeches and corresponding actions deserved some scanty 
 comfort. She smoothed a little the rugged path of love. ' Sir,' said 
 she, ' what I have just been telling you need not quite quench your 
 hope. Your rival, it is true, is in possession of the ground. He 
 comes back and fore as he pleases. He toys with her as often as he 
 likes ; but all that is in your favor. The habit of constant inter- 
 course sheds a languor over their meetings. They part without 
 pain, and come together without emotion. One would take them 
 for man and wife. In a word, my mistress has no marks of violent 
 love for Don Austin. Besides, in point of person, there is such a 
 difference between you and him as cannot fail to catch the eye of a 
 nice observer like Donna Helena. Therefore do not be cast down. 
 Continue your particular attentions. You shall have a second in 
 me. I shall let no opportunity escape of pointing out to my mis- 
 tress the merit of all your exertions to please her. In vain shall she 
 intrench herself behind reserve. In spite of guard and garrison, I 
 will ransack the muster-roll of her sentiments.' 
 
 " Now were my open attacks and secret ambuscades more fiercely 
 pointed against the daughter of Don George. Among the rest, I 
 entertained her with a serenade. After the concert, Felicia, to sound 
 her mistress, begged to know how she had been entertained. ' The 
 singer has a good voice,' said Donna Helena. 'But how did you 
 like the words ?' replied the abigail. 'I scarcely noted them,' re- 
 turned the lady ; ' the music engrossed my whole attention. The 
 poetry excited as little curiosity as its author.' ' If that is the case,' 
 exclaimed the chambermaid, ' poor Don Gaston de Cogollos is reck- 
 oning without his host ; and a miserable spendthrift of his glances, 
 to be always ogling at our lattice-work.' 'Perhaps it may not be 
 he,' said the mistress, with petrifying indifference, ' but some other 
 spark, announcing his passion by this concert.' ' Excuse me,' an- 
 swered Felicia, 'it is Don Gaston himself, who accosted me this 
 morning in the street, and implored me to assure you how he adored 
 you, in defiance of your rigorous repulses, but that he should esteem 
 himself the most blest of mortals if you would allow him to soothe 
 his desponding thoughts by all the most delicate and impassioned 
 attentions. Judge now if I can be mistaken, after so open an 
 avowal.' 
 
 "Don George's daughter changed countenance at once, and said 
 to her servant, with a severe frown, ' You might well have dispensed 
 with the relation of this impertinent discourse. Bring me no more 
 such idle tales ; and tell this young madman, when next he accosts
 
 488 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 you, to play off his shallow artifices on some more accommodating 
 fool ; but, at all events, let him choose a more gentlemanly recrea- 
 tion than that of lounging all day at his window, and prying into 
 the privacy of my apartment.' 
 
 " This message was faithfully delivered at my next interview with 
 Felicia, who assured me that her mistress's modes of speech were 
 not to be taken in their literal construction, but that my affairs were 
 in the best possible train. For my part, being little read in the 
 science of coquetry, and finding no favorable sense on the face of 
 the author's original words, I was half out of humor with the wire- 
 drawn comments of the critic. She laughed at my misgivings, and 
 asked her friend for pen, ink, and paper, saying, ' Sir knight of the 
 doleful countenance, write immediately to Donna Helena as dole- 
 fully as you look. Make echo ring with your sufferings ; outsigh 
 the river's murmur ; and, above all, let rocks and woods resound 
 with the prohibition of appearing at your window. Then pawn 
 your existence on obeying her, though without the possibility ever 
 to redeem the pledge Turn all that nonsense into pretty sentences, 
 as you gay deceivers so well know how to do, and leave the rest to 
 me. The event, I natter myself, will redound more than you are 
 aware to the honor of my penetration.' 
 
 " He must have been a strange lover who would not have profited 
 by so opportune an occasion of writing to his mistress. My letter 
 was couched in the most pathetic terms. Felicia smiled at its 
 contents, and said that if the women knew the art of infatuating 
 men, the men, in return, had borrowed their influence over women 
 from the arch wheedler himself. My privy counsellor took the note, 
 and went back to Don George's, with a special injunction that my 
 windows should be fast shut for some days. 
 
 " ' Madam,' said she, going up to Donna Helena, 'I met Don Gas- 
 ton. He must needs endeavor to come round me with his nattering 
 speeches. In tremulous accents, like a culprit pleading against his 
 sentence, he begged to know whether I had spoken to you on his 
 behalf. Then, in prompt and faithful compliance with your orders, 
 I snapped up the words out of his mouth. To be sure, my tongue 
 did run at a fine rate against him. I called him all manner of 
 names, and left him in the street like a stock, staring at my ter- 
 magant loquacity.' ' I am delighted,' answered Donna Helena, 'that 
 you have disengaged me from that troublesome person. But there 
 was'Bo occasion to have snubbed him so unmercifully. A creature 
 of your degree should always keep a good tongue in its mouth.' 
 ' Madam,' replied the domestic, ' one cannot get rid of a determined 
 lover by mincing one's words, though it comes to much the same 
 thing when one flies into a passion. Don Gaston, for instance, was
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 489 
 
 not to be bullied out of his senses. After having given it him on 
 both sides of his ears, as I told you, I went on that errand of yours 
 to the house of your relation. The lady, as ill luck would have it, 
 kept me longer than she ought. I say longer than she ought, be- 
 cause my plague and torment met me on my return. Who the 
 deuce would have thought of seeing him ? It put me all in a 
 flutter ; but then my tongue, which at other times is apt to be in a 
 twitter, stuck motionless in my mouth. While in this condition, 
 what did he do ? He slid a paper into -my hand without giving me 
 time to consider whether I should take it or no, and made off in a 
 moment.' 
 
 "After this introduction, she drew my letter from under her 
 stays, and gave it with half a banter to her mistress, who affected to 
 read it in humorous scorn, but digested the contents most greedily, 
 and then put on the starch, offended prude. 'In good earnest, 
 Felicia,' said she, with all the gravity she could assume, ' you were 
 extremely off your guard, quite bewildered and fascinated, to have 
 taken the charge of such an epistle. What construction would Don 
 Gaston put upon it? What must I think of it myself? You give 
 me reason, by this strange behavior, to mistrust your fidelity, while 
 he must suspect me of encouraging his odious suit. Alas ! he may, 
 perhaps, lay that flattering unction to his soul, that my love is legi- 
 ble in these characters, and not his trespass. Only consider how 
 you lay my towering pride.' ' Oh ! quite the reverse, madam,' an- 
 swered the petticoated pleader ; ' it is impossible for him to think 
 that ; and if he did, he would soon be convinced with a flea in his ear. 
 I shall tell him, when next we meet, that I have delivered his letter, 
 that you glanced at the superscription with petrifying indifference, 
 and then, without reading a word, tore it into ten thousand pieces.' 
 'You may swear that I did not read it with a safe conscience,' re- 
 plied Donna Helena. ' I should be puzzled to retrace a single sen- 
 timent.' Don George's daughter, not contented with these words, 
 suited the action to them, tore my letter, and imposed silence on my 
 advocate. 
 
 "As I had promised no longer to play the lover at my window, 
 the farce of obedience was kept up for several days. Ogling being 
 interdicted, my courtship was doomed to enter in at my Helena's 
 obdurate ears. One night I attended under her balcony with musi- 
 cians ; the first bars of the serenade were already playing, when a 
 swaggering blade, sword in hand, rushed in upon our harmony, 
 laying about him to the right and left, to the utter discomfiture of 
 the troop. Such mad warfare fired my tilting propensities to equal 
 fury. The affray became serious. Donna Helena and her maid 
 were disturbed by the clash of swords. They looked out at their
 
 490 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 lattice, and saw two men engaged. Their cries roused Don George 
 and his servants. The whole neighborhood was assembled to part 
 the combatants. But they came too late: on the field of battle, 
 bathed in its own blood and almost lifeless, lay my unfortunate 
 body. They carried me to my aunt's, and sent for the best surgical 
 assistance in the place. 
 
 "All the world was merciful, and wished me well, especially 
 Donna Helena, whose heart was now unmasked. Her forced 
 severity yielded to her natural feelings. Would you believe it? 
 The cold, relentless, insensible, was kindled into the warmest of 
 love's votaries. She wore out the remainder of the night in weep- 
 ing with her faithful confidante, and giving her cousin, Don Austin 
 de Olighera, to perdition ; for him they taxed with the plotted mas- 
 sacre, and the bill was a true one. He could hide his heart as well 
 as his cousin ; he therefore watched my motions, without seeming 
 to suspect them , and fancying them not to be without a corre- 
 sponding impulse, he resolved not to be sacrificed with impunity. 
 The accident was an awkward one to me, but it ended in over- 
 powering rapture. Dangerous as my wound was, the surgeon soon 
 brought me about. I was still confined to my chamber, when my 
 aunt, Donna Eleonora, went over to Don George, and made pro- 
 posals for Donna Helena. He consented the more readily to the 
 marriage, as he never expected to see Don Austin again. The good 
 old man was afraid of his daughter's not liking me, because cousin 
 Olighera had kept her company ; but she was so tractable to the 
 parental behest as to furnish grounds for believing that in Spain, 
 as in other countries, the species, not the individual, is the object 
 with the sex. 
 
 "Felicia, at our first private meeting, communicated the emo- 
 tions of her mistress on my misfortune. Now, like another Paris, 
 I thought Troy well lost for my Helen, and blessed the happy conse- 
 quences of my wound. Don George allowed me to speak with his 
 daughter in presence of her attendant. What a heavenly interview ! 
 I begged and prayed the lady so earnestly to tell me whether her 
 sufferance of my vows was forced upon her by her father, that she 
 at length confessed her obedience to be in unison with her inclina- 
 tions. After so delicious a declaration, my whole soul was given 
 up to love and pleasurable gratifications. Our nuptials were to be 
 graced by a magnificent procession of al.' the principal people in 
 Coria and the neighborhood. 
 
 " I gave a splendid party at my aunt's country-house, in the 
 suburbs on the side of Mannfi. Don George, his daughter, the 
 family, and friends on both sides, were present. There was a con- 
 cert of vocal and instrumental music, with a company of strolling
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 491 
 
 players, to represent a comedy. In the middle of the festivities, 
 some one whispered me that a man wanted to speak with me in the 
 hall I got up from table to go and see who it was. The stranger 
 looked like a gentleman's servant. He put a letter into my hand, 
 containing these words : 
 
 "'If you have any sense of honor, as a knight of your order 
 ought to have, you will not fail to attend to-morrow morning in 
 the plain of Manroi There you will find an antagonist ready to 
 give you your revenge for his former attack upon your person, or, 
 what he rather hopes and meditates, to spoil your connubial trans- 
 ports with Donna Helena 
 
 'Dosr AUSTIN DE OLIGHERA.' 
 
 If love is a Spanish passion, revenge is the Spanish lunacy. Such 
 a note as this was not to be read with composure. At the mere 
 subscription of Don Austin, there kindled in my veins a fire which 
 almost made me forget the claims of hospitality. I was tempted to 
 steal away from my company, and seek my antagonist on the in- 
 stant For fear of disturbing the merriment, hqwever, I bridled in 
 my rage, and said to the messenger, ' My friend, you may tell your 
 employer that I shall meet him on the appointed spot at sunrise, 
 and resume the contest with obstinacy equal to his own.' 
 
 "After sending this answer, I resumed my seat at table with so 
 composed a mien that no creature had the least suspicion of what 
 had occurred. During the rest of the day I gave myself up to the 
 pleasures of the festival, which ended not till midnight The guests 
 then returned to town ; but I stayed behind, under pretext of taking 
 the air on the following morning. Instead of going to bed, I watched 
 for the dawn with maddening impatience. With the first ray I got 
 on horseback, and rode alone towards Manroi. On the plain was a 
 horseman, riding up to me at full speed. I pushed forward, and we 
 met half way. It was my rival. ' Knight,' said he, superciliously, 
 ' it is against my will that I meet you a second time on the same 
 occasion ; but you have brought your fate on yourself. After the 
 adventure of the serenade, you ought to have waived your preten- 
 sions to Don George's daughter, or at least to have been assured 
 that the support of them must cost you dearer than a single en- 
 counter.' ' You are too much elated.' answered I, ' with an advan- 
 tage which is less owing, perhaps, to your superior skill than to the 
 darkness of the night. Remember that victory is of the same blind 
 family with fortune.' ' It shall be my lot to teach you,' replied he, 
 with insulting scorn, 'that I have unsealed the eyes of both.' 
 
 " At this proud defiance, we both dismounted, tied our horses to a 
 tree, and engaged with equal fury. I must candidly acknowledge
 
 492 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 the prowess of my antagonist, who was a consummate master of 
 fencing. My life was exposed to the greatest possible danger. 
 Nevertheless, as the strong is often vanquished by the weak, my 
 rival, in spite of all his science, received a thrust through the heart, 
 and fell a lifeless corpse. 
 
 " I immediately returned, and told a confidential servant what 
 had happened, K^aesting him to take horse and acquaint my aunt, 
 before the officers of justice could get intelligence of the event. He 
 was also to obtain from her a supply of money and jewels, and then 
 join me at the first inn as you enter Plazencia. 
 
 " All this was performed within three hours. Donna Eleonora 
 rather triumphed than mourned over a catastrophe which restored 
 my injured honor, and sent me large remittances for my travels 
 abroad till the affair had blown over. 
 
 " Not to dwell on different circumstances, suffice it to say, that I 
 embarked for Italy, and equipped myself so as to make a respectable 
 figure at the several courts. 
 
 " While I was endeavoring to beguile the weary hours of absence, 
 Helena was weeping at home from the same cause. Instead of 
 joining in the family resentment, her heart was panting for a com- 
 promise, and for my speedy return. Six months had already elapsed, 
 and I firmly believe that her constancy would have been proof 
 against the track of time, had time been seconded by no more pow- 
 erful ally. Don Bias de Combados, a gentleman from the western 
 coast of Galicia, came to Coria, to take possession of a rich inherit- 
 ance unsuccessfully contested by a near relation. He liked that 
 country so much better than his own, that he made it his principal 
 residence. Combados was a personable man. His manners were 
 gentle and well bred, his conversation most insinuating. With such 
 a passport, he soon got into the best company, and knew all the 
 family concerns of the place. 
 
 " It was not long before he heard of Don George's daughter, and 
 of her extraordinary beauty. This at once touched his curiosity ; 
 he was eager to behold so formidable a lady. For this purpose, he 
 endeavored to worm himself into the good graces of her father, and 
 succeeded so well, that the old gentleman, already looking on him 
 as a son-in-law, gave him free admission to the house, and the liberty 
 of conversing with Donna Helena in his presence. The Galician 
 soon became deeply enamored of her; indeed, it was the common 
 fate of all who had ever beheld her charms. He opened his heart 
 to Don George, who consented to his paying his addresses, but told 
 him that so far from offering violence to her inclination, he should 
 never interfere in her choice. Hereupon Don Bias pressed every 
 device that impassioned ingenuity could suggest into his service,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 493 
 
 to melt and warm the icicles of reserve ; but the lady was impene- 
 trable to his arts, fast bound in the fetters of an earlier love. 
 Felicia, however, was in the new suitor's interest, convinced of his 
 merit by the universal argument. All the faculties of her soul were 
 called forth in his cause. On the other hand, the father urged his 
 wishes and entreaties. Thus was Donna Helena tormented for a 
 whole year with their importunities, and yet her faith continued 
 unshaken. 
 
 "Combados, finding that Don George and Felicia took up his 
 cause with very little success, proposed an expedient for conquering 
 prejudice, to the following effect. We will suppose a merchant of 
 Coria to have received a letter from his Italian correspondent, in 
 which, among the news of the day, there shall be the following para- 
 graph : ' A Spanish gentleman, Don Gaston de Cogollos, has lately 
 arrived at the court of Parma. He is said to be nephew and sole 
 heir to a rich widow of Coria. He is paying his addresses to a 
 nobleman's daughter ; but the family wishes to ascertain the validity 
 of his pretensions. Send me word, therefore, whether you know 
 this Don Gaston, together with the amount of his aunt's fortune. On 
 your answer the marriage will depend. Parma, . . . day of, &c.' 
 
 " The old gentleman considered this trick as a mere ebullition of 
 humor, a lawful stratagem of amorous warfare ; and the jade of a go- 
 between, with conscience still more callous than her master's, was 
 delighted with the probability of the manoeuvre. It seemed to be so 
 much the more happily imagined, as they knew Helena to be a proud 
 girl, capable of taking decisive measures in the moment of surprise 
 and indignation. Don George undertook to be the herald of my 
 fickleness, and by way of coloring the contrivance more naturally, 
 to confront the pretended correspondent with her. This project was 
 executed as soon as formed. The father, with counterfeit emotions 
 of displeasure, said to Donna Helena, ' Daughter, it is not enough 
 now to tell you that our relations inveigh against an alliance with 
 Don Austin's murderer ; a still stronger reason henceforward presses 
 to detach you from Don Gaston. It may overwhelm you with shame 
 to have been his dupe so long. Here is an undeniable proof of his 
 inconstancy. Only read this letter, just received by a merchant of 
 Coria from Italy.' The trembling Helena caught at this forged 
 paper, glanced over the writing, then weighed every expression, and 
 stood aghast at the import of the whole. A keen pang of disappoint- 
 ment wrung from her a few reluctant tears; but pride came to her 
 assistance ; she wiped away the falling drops of weakness, and said 
 to her father, in a determined tone, 'Sir, you have just been witness 
 of my folly ; now bear testimony to my triumph over myself. The 
 delusion is past ; Don Gaston is the object of my utter contempt. I
 
 494 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 am ready to meet Don Bias at the altar, and be beforehand with the 
 traitor in the pledge of our transferred affections.' Don George, 
 transported with joy at this change, embraced his daughter, extolled 
 her spirit to the skies, and hastened the necessary preparation with 
 all the self-complacency of a successful plotter. 
 
 " Thus was Donna Helena snatched from me. She threw herself 
 into the arms of Combados in a pet, not listening to the secret 
 whispers of love within her breast, nor suspecting a story which 
 ought to have seemed so improbable in the annals of true passion. 
 The haughty are always the victims of their own rash conclusions. 
 Resentment of insulted beauty triumphed wholly over the sugges- 
 tions of tenderness. And yet a few days after marriage there came 
 over her some feelings of remorse for her precipitation ; it struck 
 her that the letter might have been a forgery, and the very possi- 
 bility disturbed her peace. But the enamored Don Bias left his 
 wife no time to nurse up thoughts injurious to their new-found 
 joys ; a succession of gayety and pleasure kept her in a thought- 
 less whirl, and shielded her from the pangs of unavailing repent- 
 ance. 
 
 " She appeared to be in high good humor with so spirit-stirring 
 a husband, so that they were living together in perfect unanimity, 
 when my aunt adjusted my affair with Don Austin's relations. Of 
 this she wrote me word to Italy. I returned on the wings of love. 
 Donna Eleonora, not having announced the marriage, informed me 
 of it on my arrival, and remarking what pain it gave me, said, 
 ' You are in the wrong, nephew, to show so much feeling for a 
 faithless fair. Banish from your memory a person so unworthy to 
 share its tender recollections.' 
 
 " As my aunt did not know how Donna Helena had been played 
 upon, she had reason to talk as she did ; nor could she have given 
 me better advice. To affect indifference, if not to conquer my pas- 
 sion, was my bounden duty. Yet there could be no harm in just 
 inquiring by what means this union had been brought about. To 
 get at the truth, I determined on applying to Felicia's friend, Theo- 
 dora. There I met with Felicia herself, who was confounded at my 
 unwelcome presence, and would have escaped from the necessity of 
 explanation. But I stopped her. ' Why do you avoid me ?' said I. 
 ' Has your perjured mistress forbidden you to give ear to my com- 
 plaints? or would you make a merit with the ungrateful woman of 
 your voluntary refusal?' 
 
 " ' Sir,' answered the plotting abigail, ' I confess my fault, and 
 throw myself on your mercy. Your appearance here has filled me 
 with remorse. My mistress has been betrayed, and, unhappily, in 
 part by my agency.' The particulars of this infernal device followed
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS, ' 495 
 
 this avowal, with an endeavor to make me amends for its lamentable 
 consequence. To this effect she offered me her services with her 
 mistress, and promised to undeceive her; in a word, to work night 
 and day that she might soften the rigor of my sufferings, and open 
 the career of hope. 
 
 " I pass over the numberless contradictions she experienced be- 
 fore she could accomplish the projected interview. It was at length 
 arranged to admit me privately, while Don Bias was at his hunting- 
 seat. The plot did not linger. The husband went into the country, 
 and they sent for me to his lady's apartment. 
 
 " My onset was reproachful in the extreme, but my mouth was 
 soon shut upon the subject. ' It is useless to look back upon the 
 past,' said the lady. ' It can be no part of our present intention to 
 work upon each other's feelings, and you are grievously mistaken if 
 you fancy me inclined to flatter your aspiring hopes. My sole in- 
 ducement for receiving you here was to tell you personally that you 
 have only henceforth to forget me. Perhaps I might have been 
 better satisfied with my lot had it been united with yours ; but 
 since Heaven has ordered it otherwise, we must submit to its de- 
 crees.' 
 
 " ' What, madam P answered I, ' is it not enough to have lost 
 you, to see my successful rival in quiet possession of all my soul 
 holds dear, but I must also banish you from my thoughts ? You 
 would tear from me even my passion, my only remaining blessing ! 
 And think you that a man whom you have once enchanted can re- 
 cover his self-possession ? Know yourself better, and cease to enforce 
 impracticable behests.' ' Well, then, if so,' rejoined she with hurried 
 importunity, ' do you cease to flatter yourself with interesting my 
 gratitude or my pity. In one short word, the wife of Don Bias shall 
 never be the mistress of Don Gaston. Let us at once end a conver- 
 sation at which delicacy revolts in spite of virtue, and peremptorily 
 forbids its longer continuance.' 
 
 " I now threw myself at the lady's feet in despair. All the powers 
 of language and of tears were called forth to soften her. But even 
 this served only to excite some inbred sentiments of compassion, 
 stifled as soon as born, and sacrificed at the shrine of duty. After 
 having fruitlessly exhausted all my stores of tender persuasion, rage 
 took possession of my breast. I drew my sword, and would have 
 fallen on its point before the inexorable Helena ; but she saw my 
 design, and prevented it. 'Stay your rash hand, Cogollos,' said 
 she. 'Is it thus that you consult my reputation ? In dying thus, 
 and here, you will brand me with dishonor, and my husband with 
 the imputation of murder.' 
 
 " In the agony of my despair, far from yielding to these sugges-
 
 496 ' ADVENTUKES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 tions, I only struggled against the preventive efforts of the two 
 women, and should have struggled too successfully, if Don Bias had 
 not appeared to second them. He had been apprised of our assig- 
 nation, and instead of going into the country, had concealed himself 
 behind the hangings, to overhear our conference. ' Don Gaston,' 
 cried he, as he arrested my uplifted arm, ' recall your scattered 
 senses, and no longer indulge in these mad transports.' 
 
 "Here I could hold no longer. 'Is it for you,' said I, 'to turn 
 me from my resolution ? You ought rather to plunge a dagger in 
 my bosom. My love, with all its train of miseries, is an insult to 
 you. Have you not surprised me in your wife's apartment at this 
 unseasonable hour? What greater provocation can you want for 
 your revenge ? Stab me, and rid yourself of a man who can only 
 give up the adoration of Donna Helena with his life.' ' It is in 
 vain,' answered Don Bias, ' that you endeavor to interest my honor 
 in your destruction. You are sufficiently punished for your rash- 
 ness, and my wife's imprudence, in giving you this opportunity of 
 indulging it, is sanctified by the purity of her sentiments. Take my 
 advice, Cogollos : shrink not effeminately from your wayward des- 
 tiny, but bear up against it with the patient courage of a hero.' 
 
 "The prudent Galician, by such language, gradually composed 
 the ferment of my mind, and waked me once more to virtue. I 
 withdrew in the determination of removing far from the scene of 
 my folly, and left for Madrid two days afterwards. There, pursuing 
 the career of fortune and preferment, I appeared at court, and laid 
 myself out for connections. But it was my ill luck to attach myself 
 particularly to the Marquis of Villareal, a Portuguese grandee, who, 
 lying under a suspicion of intending to emancipate his country from 
 the Spanish yoke, is now in the castle of Alicant. As the Duke of 
 Lerma knew me to be closely connected with this nobleman, he gave 
 orders for my arrest and detention here. That minister thought me 
 capable of engaging in such a project he could not have offered a 
 more outrageous affront to a man of noble birth and a Castilian." 
 
 Don Gaston thus ended his story. By way of consolation I said 
 to him, " Illustrious sir-, your honor can receive no taint from this 
 temporary detainer, and your interest will probably be promoted 
 by it in the end. When the Duke of Lerma shall be convinced of 
 your innocence, he will not fail to give you a considerable post, 
 and thus retrieve the character of a gentleman unjustly accused of 
 treason."
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 497 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 SCIPIO FINDS GIL BLAS OUT IN THE TOWER OF SEGOVIA, AND BRINGS 
 HIM A BUDGET OF NEWS. 
 
 OUE conversation was interrupted by Tordesillas, who came 
 into the room, and addressed me thus: "Signer Gil Bias, I 
 have just been speaking with a young man at the prison gate. He 
 inquired if you were not here, and looked much mortified at my 
 refusal to satisfy his curiosity. ' Noble governor,' said he, with 
 tears in his eyes, ' do not reject my most humble petition. I am 
 Signer de Santillane's principal domestic, and you will do an act 
 of charity by allowing me to see him. You pass for a kind-hearted 
 gentleman in Segovia ; I hope you will not deny me the favor of 
 conversing for a few minutes with my dear master, who is unfortu- 
 nate rather than criminal.' In short," continued Don Andrew, 
 " the lad was so importunate that I promised to comply with his 
 wishes this evening." 
 
 I assured Tordesillas that he could not have pleased me better 
 than by bringing this young man to me, who could probably com- 
 municate tidings of the greatest importance. I waited with impa- 
 tience for the entrance of my faithful Scipio, since I could not doubt 
 him to be the man ; nor was I mistaken in my conjecture. He was 
 introduced at the time appointed, and his joy, which only mine 
 could equal, broke forth into the most whimsical demonstrations. 
 On my side, in the ecstasy of delight, I stretched out my arms to 
 him, and he rushed into them with no courtly, measured embrace. 
 All distinctions of master and dependent were levelled in the sym- 
 pathetic rapture of our meeting. 
 
 When our transports had subsided a little, I inquired into the 
 state of my house-hold. " You have neither household nor house," 
 answered he : " to spare you a long string of questions, I will sum 
 up your worldly concerns in two words. Your property has been 
 pillaged at both ends, both by the banditti of the law and by your 
 own retainers, who, regarding you as a ruined man, paid themselves 
 their own wages out of whatever they found was portable. Luckily 
 for you, I had the dexterity to save from their harpy clutches two 
 large bags of double pistoles. Salero, in whose custody I deposited 
 them, will make restitution on your release, which cannot be far 
 distant, as you were put upon his majesty's pension list of prisoners 
 without the Duke of Lerma's knowledge or consent." 
 
 I asked Scipio how he knew his excellency to have had no share 
 in my arrest. " You may depend on it," answered he, " my infor- 
 32
 
 498 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 mation is undeniable. One of my friends in the Duke of Uzeda's 
 confidence acquainted me with all the circumstances of your im- 
 prisonment. Calderona, having discovered by a spy that Signora 
 Sirena, with the handle of an alias to her name, was receiving night 
 visits from the Prince of Spain, and that the Count de Lemos man- 
 aged that intrigue by the panderism of Signer de Santillane, deter- 
 mined to be revenged on the whole knot. To this end, he waited 
 on the Duke of Uzeda, and discovered the whole affair. The duke, 
 overjoyed at such a fine opportunity of ruining his enemy, did not 
 fail to bestir himself. He laid his information before the king, and 
 painted the prince's danger in the most lively colors. His majesty 
 was much angered, and showed that he was so by sending Sirena to 
 the nunnery provided for such frail sisters, banishing the Count de 
 Lemos, and condemning Gil Bias to perpetual imprisonment. 
 
 " This," pursued Scipio, " is what'my friend told me. Hence you 
 gather your misfortune to be the Duke of Uzeda's handiwork, or 
 rather Calderona's." 
 
 Thus it seemed probable that my affairs might be reinstated in 
 time ; that the Duke of Lerma, chagrined at his nephew's banish- 
 ment, would move heaven and earth for that nobleman's recall ; 
 and it might not be too much to expect that his excellency would 
 not forget me. What a delicate gypsy is Hope ! She wheedled me 
 out of all anxiety about my shattered fortunes, and made me as 
 light-hearted as if I had good reason to be so. My prison looked 
 not like the dungeon of perpetual misery, but like the vestibule to 
 a more distinguished station. For thus ran the train of my reason- 
 ing : Don Fernando Borgia, Father Jerome of Florence, and more 
 than all, Friar Louis of Aliaga, who may thank him for his place 
 about the king's person, are the prime minister's partisans. With 
 the aid of such powerful friends, his excellency will bear down all 
 opposition, even supposing no change to take place in the political 
 barometer. But his majesty's health is very precarious. The first 
 act of a new reign would be to recall the Count de Lemos ; he would 
 not feel himself at home in the young monarch's presence till he 
 had introduced me at court ; and the young monarch would not sit 
 easy on his throne till he had showered benefits on my head. Thus, 
 feasting by anticipation on the pleasures of futurity, I became cal- 
 lous to existing evils. The two bags, snug in the goldsmith's cus- 
 tody, were no bad doubles to the part which Hope acted in this 
 shifting pantomime. 
 
 It was impossible not to express my gratitude to Scipio for his 
 zeal and honesty. I offered him half the salvage ; but he rejected 
 it. " I expect," said he, " a very different acknowledgment." 
 Astonished as much at his mysterious claim as at his refusal, I
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 499 
 
 asked what more I could do for him. " Let us never part," answered 
 he. "Allow me to link my fate with yours. I feel for you what I never 
 felt for any other master." "And on my part, my good fellow," 
 said I, " you may rest assured that your attachment is not thrown 
 away. You caught my fancy at first sight. We must have been 
 born under Libra or Gemini, where friendship is lord of the ascend- 
 ant. I willingly accept your proifered partnership, and I will com- 
 mence business by- prevailing with the warden to immure you along 
 with me in this 1 tower." " That is the very thing," exclaimed he. 
 " You were beforehand with me, for I was just going to beg that 
 favor. Your company is dearer to me than liberty itself. I shall 
 only just go to Madrid now and then, to snuff the gale of the min- 
 isterial atmosphere, and try whether any scent lies which may be 
 favorable for your pursuit. Thus will you combine in me a bosom 
 friend, a trusty messenger, and an unsuspected spy." 
 
 These advantages were too important for me to forego them. I 
 therefore kept so useful a person about me, with leave of the oblig- 
 ing warden, who would not stand in the way of so soothing a relief 
 to the weariness of solitude. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 SCIPIO'S FIEST JOURNEY TO MADRID: ITS OBJECT AND SUCCESS. GIL 
 BLAS FALLS SICK. THE CONSEQUENCE OF HIS ILLNESS. 
 
 IF it is a common proverb that our direst enemies are those of 
 our own household, the converse ought equally to be admitted 
 among the saws of a more candid experience. After such in- 
 contestable proof of Scipio's zeal, he became to me like another 
 self. All distinction of place was confounded between Gil Bias 
 and his secretary ; all insolence was dropped on the one hand, all 
 cringing on the other. Their lodging, bed, and board, were in 
 common. 
 
 Scipio's conversation was of a very lively turn ; he might have 
 been dubbed the Spanish Momus, without any derogation to the 
 Punch of the Pantheon. But he had a long head, as well as a fan- 
 ciful brain, combining the characters of counsellor and jester. 
 " My friend," said I, one day, " what do you think of writing to the 
 Duke of Lerma ? It could, methinks, do no harm." " Why, as to 
 that," answered he, " the great are such chameleons, that there is
 
 500 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 no knowing where to have them. At all events, you may risk it ; 
 though I would not lay the postage of your letter on its success. 
 The minister loves you, it is true ; but then political love lacks 
 memory as much as personal love lacks visual discrimination. 
 Out of sight, out of mind ! is at once the motto and the stigma of 
 these gentry." 
 
 " True as this may be in the general," replied I, " my patron is a 
 glorious exception. His kindness lives in my recollection. I am 
 persuaded that he suffers for my sufferings, and that they are inces- 
 santly preying on his spirits. We must give him credit for only 
 waiting till the king's anger shall pass away." " Be it so," resumed 
 he ; "I wish you may not reckon without your host. Assail his 
 excellency, then, with an epistle to stir the waters. I will engage 
 to deliver it into his own hands." Pen, ink, and paper being 
 brought, I composed a specimen of eloquence which Scipio declared 
 to be a paragon of pathos, and Tordesillas preferred, for the cant of 
 sermonizing prolixity, to the old archbishop's homilies. 
 
 I flattered myself that there would be tears in the Duke of Lerma's 
 eyes, and distraction in his aspect, at the detail of miseries which 
 existed only on paper. In that assurance, I despatched my messen- 
 ger, who no sooner got to Madrid, than he went to the minister's. 
 Meeting with an old domestic of my acquaintance, he had no diffi- 
 culty in gaining access to the duke. " My lord," said Scipio to his 
 excellency, as he delivered the packet, " one of your most devoted 
 servants, lying at his length on straw, in a damp and dreary dun- 
 geon at Segovia, most humbly supplicates for the perusal of this 
 letter, which a tender-hearted turnkey has furnished him with the 
 means of writing." The minister opened the letter, and glanced 
 over the contents. But though he found there a motive and a cue 
 for passion enough to amaze all his faculties at once, far from drown- 
 ing the floor with briny secretions, he cleaved the ear of his house- 
 hold and smote the heart of my courier with horrid speech : 
 " Friend, tell Santillane that he has a great deal of impudence to 
 address me, after so rank an offence, worthily confronted by the 
 severe sentence of the king. Under that sentence let the wretch 
 drag out his days, nor look to my mediation for a respite." 
 
 Scipio, though neither dull nor muddy-mettled, began to be un- 
 pregnant of this defeated cause. Yet he was not so pigeon-livered 
 as to retire without an effort in my favor. "My lord," replied he, 
 " this poor prisoner will give up the ghost with grief at the recital 
 of your excellency's displeasure." The duke answered like a prime 
 minister, with a supercilious corrugation of features, and a decisive 
 revolution of his front to some more prosperous suitor. This he 
 did to cover his own share in the shame of pimping; and such
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 501 
 
 treatment must all those hireling scavengers expect who rake in 
 the filth and ordure of rotten statesmen, courtiers, and politicians. 
 
 My secretary came back to Segovia, and delivered the result of 
 Iiis mission. And now behold me, sunk deeper than on the first 
 day of my imprisonment in the gulf of affliction and despair! The 
 Duke of Lerma's turning king's evidence gave a hanging posture to 
 my affairs. My courage was run out; and though they did all they 
 could to keep up my spirits, the agitation and distress of my mind 
 threw me into a fever. 
 
 The warden, who took a lively interest in my recovery, fancying 
 in his unmedical head that physicians cured fevers, brought me a 
 double dose of death in two of that doleful deity's most practiced 
 executioners. "Signer Gil Bias," said he, as he ushered in their 
 grisly forms, " here are two godsons of Hippocrates, who are come 
 to feel your pulse, and to augment the number of their trophies in 
 your person." I was so prejudiced against the whole faculty, that I 
 should certainly have given them a very discouraging reception, had 
 life retained its usual charms in my estimation ; but being bent on 
 my departure from this vale of tears, I felt obliged to Tordesillas 
 for hastening my journey by a safer conveyance than the crime of 
 suicide. 
 
 " My good sir," said one of the pair, " your recovery will, under 
 Providence, depend on your entire confidence in our skill." " Im- 
 plicit confidence I" answered I : " with your assistance, I am fully 
 persuaded that a few days will place me beyond the reach of fever, 
 and all the shocks that flesh is heir to." " Yes ! with the blessing 
 of Heaven," rejoined he, " it is a consummation devoutly to be 
 wished, and easily to be effected. At all events, our best endeavors 
 shall not be wanting." And indeed it was no joke ; for they got me 
 into such fine training for the other world, that few of my material 
 particles were left in this. Already had Don Andrew, observing me 
 fumble with the sheets, and smile upon my fingers' ends, and think- 
 ing there was but one way, sent for a Franciscan to show it me : 
 already had the good father, having mumbled over the salvation of 
 my soul, retired to the refection of his own body : and my own opinion 
 leaned to the immediate necessity of making a good end. I beckoned 
 Scipio to my bedside. " My dear friend," said I, in the faint accents 
 of a tortured and evacuated patient, " I give and bequeath to you 
 one of the bags in Gabriel's possession ; the other you must carry to 
 my father and mother in the Asturias, who, if still living, must be 
 in narrow circumstances. But, alas ! I fear they have not been able 
 to bear up against my ingratitude. Muscada's report of my un- 
 natural behavior must have brought their gray hairs with sorrow to 
 the grave. Should Heaven have fortified their tender hearts against
 
 502 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 my indifference, you will give them the bag of doubloons, with as- 
 surances of my dying remorse ; and if they are no more, I charge 
 you to lay out the money in masses for the repose of their souls and 
 of mine." Then did I stretch out my hand, which he bathed in 
 silent tears. It is not always true that the mourning of an heir is 
 mirth in masquerade. 
 
 For some hours I fancied myself outward-bound, and on the point 
 of sailing; but the wind changed. My pilots having quitted the 
 helm, and left the vessel to the steerage of nature, the danger of 
 shipwreck disappeared. The fever mutinying against its command- 
 ing officers, gave all their prognostics the lie, and acted contrary to 
 general orders. I got better by degrees, in mind as well as in body. 
 My consolation was all derived from within. I looked at wealth 
 and honors with the eye of a dying anchoret, and blessed the malady 
 which restored my soul. I abjured courts, politics, and the Duke of 
 Lerma. If ever my prison doors were opened, it was my fixed 
 resolve to buy a cottage, and live like a philosopher. 
 
 My bosom friend applauded my design, and to further its execu- 
 tion, undertook a second journey to solicit my release, by the inter- 
 vention of a clever girl about the person of the prince's nurse. He 
 contended that a prison was a prison still, in spite of kind indul- 
 gence and good cheer. In this I agreed, and gave him leave .to 
 depart, with a fervent prayer to Heaven that we might soon take 
 possession of our hermitage. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 SCIPIO'S SECOND JOT/RNEY TO MADRID. GIL BLAS IS SET AT LIBERTY 
 ON CERTAIN CONDITIONS. 
 
 WHILE waiting for Scipio's return from Madrid, I began a 
 course of study. Tordesillas furnished me with more books 
 than I wanted. He borrowed them from an old officer who could 
 not read, but had fitted up a magnificent library, that he might pass 
 for a man of learning. Above all, I delighted in moral essays and 
 treatises, because they abounded in commonplaces, according with 
 my antipathy to courts and philosophic relish of solitude. 
 
 Three weeks elapsed before I heard a syllable from my negotiator, 
 who returned at length with a cheerful countenance, and news to 
 the following effect : " By the intercession of a hundred pistoles with
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 503 
 
 the chambermaid, and her intercession with her mistress, the Prince 
 of Spain has been prevailed with to plead for your enlargement with 
 his royal father. I hastened hither to announce these happy tidings, 
 and must return immediately to put the last hand to my work." 
 With these words he left me, and went back to court. 
 
 At the week's end my expeditious agent returned, with the intel- 
 ligence that the prince had procured my liberty, not without some 
 difficulty. On the same day my generous keeper confirmed the 
 assurance in person, with the kindest congratulations and the fol- 
 lowing notice : " Your prison doors are open, but on two conditions, 
 which I am sorry that my duty obliges me to announce, because 
 they will probably be disagreeable to you. His majesty expressly 
 forbids you to show your face at court, or to be found within the 
 limits of the two Castilles on this day month. I am extremely sorry 
 that you are interdicted from court." " And I am delighted at it," 
 answered I. " Witness all the powers above ! I asked the king for 
 only only one favor ; he has granted me two." 
 
 With my liberty thus confirmed, I hired a couple of mules, on 
 which we mounted the next day, after taking leave of Cogollos, and 
 thanking Tordesillas a thousand times for all his instances of 
 friendship. We set forward cheerfully on the road to Madrid, to 
 draw our deposit out of Signor Gabriel's hands, amounting to a 
 thousand doubloons. On the road my fellow-traveller observed, 
 " If we are not rich enough to purchase a splendid property, we can 
 at least secure ease and competency to ourselves." " A cabin," 
 answered I, " would be large enough for my most ambitious 
 thoughts. Though scarcely at the middle period of life, the world 
 has lost its charms for me ; its hopes, its fears, its cares, its duties, 
 are all absorbed in the selfishness of philosophical retirement. 
 Independently of these principles, I can assure you I have painted 
 for myself a rural landscape, with a foreground of innocent pleas- 
 ures, and pastoral simplicity in the perspective. Already does the 
 enamel of the meadows glitter under my eyes; already does the 
 river's murmur accord with the winged chorus of the grove ; hunt- 
 ing exasperates the manly virtues, and fishing preaches patience. 
 Only figure to yourself, my friend, what a continual round of 
 amusement solitude may furnish, and you will pant to be admitted 
 of her crew. Then, for the economy of our table, the simplest will 
 be the cheapest, and of course the best. Unadulterated Ceres shall 
 be our official caterer ; when hunger shall have tamed our fastidious 
 appetites into sobriety, a mumbled crust will relish like an ortolan. 
 The supreme delight of eating is not in the thing eaten, but in the 
 palate of him who eats a proposition in culinary philosophy 
 proved by the frequent loathing of my own stomach, through a long
 
 504 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 series of ministerial dinners. Abstemiousness is a luxury of the 
 most exquisite refinement, and the best recipe in the materia 
 medica." 
 
 " With your good leave, Signer Gil Bias," interrupted my secre- 
 tary, " I am not altogether of your mind respecting the luscious 
 treat of abstemiousness. Why should we mess like the bankrupt 
 sages of antiquity? Surely we may indulge the carnal man a little, 
 without any reasonable offence to the spiritual. Since we have, by 
 the blessing of Providence and my forecast, wherewithal to keep the 
 spit and the spigot in exercise, do not let us take up our abode with 
 famine and wretchedness. As soon as we get settled, we must stock 
 our cellar, and establish a respectable larder, like people who know 
 what is what, and do not separate themselves from the vulgar 
 crowd to renounce the good things of this life, but to taste them 
 with a more exquisite relish. As Hesiod says, 
 
 ' Enjoy thy riches with a liberal soul ; 
 Plenteous the feast, and smiling be the bowl.' 
 
 And again, 
 
 ' To stint the wine a frugal husband shows, 
 When from the middle of the cask it flows.' " 
 
 " What the devil, Master Scipio," interrupted I in my turn, "you 
 can cap verses out of the Greek poets ! And pray where did you 
 get acquainted with Hesiod ?" " In very learned company," he 
 answered. " I lived some tim'e with a walking dictionary at Sala- 
 manca, a fellow up to the elbows in quotation and commentary. He 
 could put a large volume together like a house of cards. His 
 library furnished him with a hodge-podge of Hebrew, Greek, and 
 Latin commonplaces, which he translated into buckram Castilian. 
 As I was his transcriber, some tags of verses, stings of epigrams, and 
 sage truisms, stuck by the way." " With such an apparatus," re- 
 plied I, " your memory must be philosophically stocked. But, not 
 to lose sight of our future prospects, whereabouts in Spain had we 
 best fix our Socratic abode?" " My voice is for Arragon," resumed 
 my counsellor. " We shall there enjoy all the beauties of nature, 
 and lead the life of Paradise." "Well, then, for Arragon," said 
 I. " May it teem with all the dear delights that youthful poets 
 fancy when they dream !"
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 505 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 THEIR DOINGS AT MADRID. THE RENCOUNTER OF GIL BLAS IN THE 
 STREET, AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. 
 
 ON our arrival in Madrid, we alighted at a little public-house 
 where Scipio had been accustomed to put up, whence our first 
 visit was to my banker, Salero. He received us very cordially, and 
 expressed the highest satisfaction at my release. " Indeed," added 
 he, "your untoward fate touched me so nearly as to change my 
 views of a political alliance. The fortunes of courtiers are like 
 castles in the air, so I have married my daughter Gabriela to a 
 wealthy trader." " You have acted very wisely," answered I, " for 
 besides that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, when a 
 plodding citizen aspires to the honor of bringing a man of fashion 
 into his family, he very often has an impertinent puppy for his 
 son-in-law." 
 
 Then changing the topic, and coming to the point, I said, "Signer 
 Gabriel, we came to talk a little about the two thousand pistoles 
 which" ..." Your money is all ready," said the goldsmith, inter- 
 rupting me. He then took us into his closet, and delivered the two 
 bags, carefully labelled with my name on them. 
 
 I thanked Salero for his exactness, and Heaven in my sleeve for 
 my escape from his daughter. At our inn we counted over the 
 money, and found it right, deducting fifty doubloons for the ex- 
 penses of my enlargement. Our thoughts were now wholly bent 
 upon Arragon. My secretary undertook to buy a carriage and two 
 mules. It was my office to provide household and body linen. 
 During my peregrinations for that purppse, I met Baron Steinbach, 
 the officer in the German Guards with whom Don Alphonso had 
 been brought up. 
 
 I touched my hat to him', he knew me again, and returned my 
 greeting warmly. " My joy is extreme, v said I, " at seeing your 
 lordship in such fine health, to say nothing of my wish, to inquire 
 after Don Caesar and Don Alphonso de Ley va." " They are both 
 in Madrid," answered he, " and staying at my house. They came 
 to town about three months ago, to be presented on occasion of Don 
 Alphonso's promotion. He has been appointed Governor of Va- 
 lencia, on the score of old family claims, without having in any 
 shape pushed his interest at court. Nothing could be more grateful 
 to his feelings, or prove more strongly our royal master's goodness, 
 who delights to recognize the merits of ancestry in the persons of 
 their descendants."
 
 506 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 Though I knew more of this matter than Steinbach, I kept my 
 knowledge in the background. Yet so lively was my impatience to 
 hail my old masters, that he would not damp my ardor by delay. 
 I had a mind to try Don Alphonso, whether he still retained his 
 regard for me. He was playing at chess with Baroness Steinbach. 
 On my entrance, he started up from his game, ran towards me, and 
 squeezing me tight in his embrace, " Santillane," said he, with de- 
 monstrations of the sincerest joy, " at length, then, you are restored 
 to my heart. I am delighted at it ! It was not my fault that we 
 ever parted. You may remember how strongly I urged you not to 
 withdraw from the Castle of Ley va. You were deaf to my entreaties. 
 But I must not chide your obstinacy, because its motive was the 
 peace of the family. Yet you ought to have let me hear from you, 
 and to have spared my fruitless inquiries at Granada, where my 
 brother-in-law, Don Ferdinand, sent me word that you were. 
 
 " And now tell me what you are doing at Madrid. Of course you 
 have some situation here. Be assured that I shall always take a 
 lively interest in your concerns." "Sir," answered I, " it is but four 
 months since I occupied a considerable post at court. I had the 
 honor of being the Duke of Lerma's confidential secretary." " Can 
 it be possible?" exclaimed Don Alphonso, as if he could scarcely 
 believe his ears. " What, were you so near the person of the prime 
 minister?" I then related how I had gained and lost his favor, and 
 ended with avowing my determination to buy a cottage and garden 
 with the wreck of my shattered fortunes. 
 
 The son of Don Caesar heard me attentively, and made this answer: 
 " My dear Gil Bias, you know how I have always loved you ; nor shall 
 you longer be Fortune's puppet. I will set you above her vagaries, 
 by securing you an independence. Since you declare for a country 
 life, a little estate of ours near Lirias, about four leagues from Va- 
 lencia, shall be settled on you. You are acquainted with the spot. 
 Such a present we can make without putting ourselves to the least 
 inconvenience. I can answer for my father's joining in the act, and 
 for Seraphina's entire approbation." 
 
 I threw myself at Don Alphonso's feet, who raised me immedi- 
 ately. More penetrated by his affection than by his bounty, I pressed 
 his hand and said, " Sir, your conduct charms me. Your noble gift 
 is the more welcome as it precedes the knowledge of a service it has 
 been in my power to render you ; and T had rather owe it to your 
 generosity than to your gratitude." This governor of my making 
 did not know what to understand by the hint, and pressed for an 
 explanation. I gave it in full, to his utter astonishment. Neither 
 he nor Baron Steinbach could ever have the slightest suspicion that 
 the government of Valencia was owing to my interest at court. Yet,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 507 
 
 having no reason to doubt the fact, my friend proposed to grant me 
 an annuity of two thousand ducats, in addition to the little farm at 
 Lirias. 
 
 " Hold your hand, Signor Don Alphonso," exclaimed I, at this 
 offer. " You must not set my. avarice afloat again. I am myself a 
 living witness that Fortune may give superfluities to her favorites, 
 hut has no competence to bestow. With pleasure will I accept of 
 the estate at Lirias, where my present property will be sufficient for 
 all my wants. Rather than increase my cares with my possessions, 
 I would build a hospital out of my existing funds. Riches are a 
 burden ; and it must be a foolish animal that would bear fardels in 
 the manger or the field." 
 
 While we were talking after this fashion, Don Caesar came in. 
 His joy was not less than his son's at the sight of me; and being in- 
 formed of the family obligations, he again pressed me to accept of 
 the annuity, which I again refused. When the writings were drawn 
 the father and son made the assignment their joint act and deed, 
 transferring to me the fee simple, and putting me in immediate pos- 
 session. My secretary half stared the eyes out of his head when I 
 told him we had a landed estate of our own, and how we came by 
 it. "What is the value of this 'little freehold?" says he. "Five 
 hundred ducats per annum," answered I ; " and the farm in high 
 cultivation, within a ring fence. I have often been there during my 
 stewardship. There is a small house on the banks of the Guadala- 
 viar, in a little hamlet surrounded by a charming country." 
 
 "What pleases me better than all," cried Scipio, "is that we shall 
 have plenty of sporting, rare living, and excellent wine. Come, 
 master, let us leave this crowded city, and hasten to our hermitage." 
 "I long to be there as much as you can do," answered I ; "but I 
 must first go to the Asturias. My father and mother are not in 
 comfortable circumstances. They shall therefore end their days 
 with me at Lirias. Heaven, perhaps, has thrown this windfall in 
 my way to try my filial duty, and would punish me for the neglect 
 of it." Scipio approved my purpose, and urged its speedy execu- 
 tion. " Yes, my friend," said I, " we will set out as soon as possible. 
 I shall consider it as my dear delight to share the gifts of fortune 
 with the authors of my existence. We shall soon be settled in our 
 country retreat ; and then will I write these two Latin verses over 
 the door of my farm-house, in letters of gold, for the pious edifica- 
 tion of my rustic neighbors : 
 
 ' Inveni portum. Spes et fortuna, valete. 
 Sat me lusistis ; Indite nunc alios.' "
 
 508 ADVENTUEES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 BOOK X. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 6IL BLAS SETS OUT FOE THE ASTtJKIAS, AND PASSES THROUGH VALLA- 
 DOLID. HE GOES TO SEE DOCTOR SANGRADO. 
 
 JUST as I was arranging matters to take my departure from 
 Madrid, and go with Scipio to the Asturias, Paul V. gave the 
 Duke of Lerma a cardinal's hat. This pope, wishing to establish 
 the Inquisition in the kingdom of Naples, invested the minister 
 with the purple, and by that means hoped to bring King Philip 
 over to so pious and praiseworthy a design. Those who were best 
 acquainted with this new member of the sacred college thought, 
 much like myself, that the church was in a fair way for apostolical 
 purity, after so ghostly an acquisition. 
 
 Scipio, who would have liked better to see me once more blazing 
 at court, than either cloistered or rusticated, advised me to show 
 my face at the cardinal's audience. " Perhaps," said he, " his 
 eminence, finding you at large by the king's order, may think it 
 unnecessary to affect any further displeasure against you, and may 
 even reinstate you in his service." " My good friend Scipio," an- 
 swered I, " you seem to forget that my liberty was granted only on 
 condition of making myself scarce in the two Castilles. Besides, 
 can you suppose me so soon inclined to become an absentee from 
 my domain of Lirias ? I have told you before, and I tell it you 
 once again, though the Duke of Lerma should restore me to his 
 good graces, though he should even offer me Don Rodrigo de Cal- 
 derona's place, I would refuse it. My resolution is taken : I mean 
 to go and find out my parents at Oviedo, and carry them with me to 
 Valencia. As for you, my good fellow, if you repent of having 
 linked your fate with mine, you have only to say so ; I am ready 
 to give you half of my ready money, and you may stay at Madrid, 
 where Fortune puts on her kindest smiles to those who woo her 
 lustily." 
 
 " What, then," replied my secretary, a little affected by these 
 words, " can you suspect me of any unwillingness to follow you into 
 your retreat? The very idea is an injury to my zeal and my attach- 
 ment. What, Scipio ! that faithful appendage, who would willingly 
 have passed the remnant of his days with you in the tower of Se- 
 govia rather than abandon you to your wretched fate, can he feel
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 509 
 
 sorrowful at the prospect of an abode where a thousand rural delights 
 are waiting to smile on his arrival ? No, no, I have not a wish to 
 turn you aside from your resolution. Nor can I refrain from own- 
 ing my malicious drift ; when I advised you to show your face at 
 the Duke of Lerma's audience, it was for the purpose of ascertain- 
 ing whether any seedlings of ambition were scattered among the 
 fallows of your philosophy. Since that point is settled, and you 
 are mortified to all the pomps and vanities of the world, let us 
 make the best of our way from court, to go and suck in with 
 Zephyrus and Flora the innocent, delicious pleasures so luxuriant 
 in the nursery of our imaginations." 
 
 In fact, we soon afterwards took our departure together, in a 
 chaise drawn by two good mules, driven by a postilion whom I had 
 added to my establishment. We stopped the first day at Alcala de 
 Henares, and the second at Segovia, whence, without stopping to 
 see our generous warden, Tordesillas, we went forward to Penafiel 
 on the Duero, and the next day to Valladolid. At sight of this 
 large town, I could not help fetching a deep sigh. My companion, 
 surprised at that conscientious ventilation, inquired the reason of 
 it. " My good fellow," said I,. "it is because I practiced medicine 
 here for a long time. It gives me the horrors, even now, to think 
 of my unexpiated murders. The whole list of killed and wounded 
 are mustered in battle array yonder : the tomb and the hospital 
 yawn with their disgorged inhabitants, who are rushing on to tear 
 me piecemeal, and exact the vengeance due to the drenched crew." 
 " What a dreadful fancy !" said my secretary. " In truth, Signer de 
 Santillane, your nature is too tender. Why should you be shocked 
 at the common course of exchange in your branch of trade? Look 
 at all the oldest physicians : their withers are unwrung. What can 
 exceed the self-complacency with which they view the exits of pa- 
 tients and the entrances of diseases ? Natural constitution bears 
 the brunt of all their failures, and medical infallibility takes the 
 credit of lucky accidents." 
 
 " It is very true," replied I, " that Doctor Sangrado, on whose 
 practice I formed myself, was like the rest of old physicians in point 
 of self-complacency. It was to little purpose that twenty people in 
 a day yielded to his prowess ; he was so persuaded that bleeding in 
 the arm and copious libations of warm water were specifics for every 
 case, that instead of doubting whether the death of his patient might 
 not possibly invalidate the efficacy of his prescriptions, he ascribed 
 the result to a vacillating compliance with his system." " By all 
 the powers 1" cried Scipio with a burst of laughter, " you open to me 
 an incomparable character." " If you have any curiosity to be 
 better acquainted with him," said I, " it may be gratified to-morrow,
 
 510 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 should Sangrado be still living, and resident at Valladolid : but it is 
 highly improbable ; for he had one foot in the grave when I left him 
 several years ago." Our first care, on putting up at the inn, was to 
 inquire after this doctor. We were told that he was not dead ; but, 
 being incapacitated by age from paying visits or any other vigorous 
 exertions, he had been superseded by three or four other doctors 
 who had risen into repute by a new practice, accomplishing the same 
 end by different means. We determined on lying by for a day at 
 Valladolid, as well to rest our mules as to call on Signor Sangrado. 
 About ten o'clock next morning we knocked at his door, and found 
 him sitting in his elbow-chair, with a book in his hand. He rose 
 on our entrance, advanced to meet us with a firm step for a man of 
 seventy, and begged to know our business. " My worthy and ap- 
 proved good master," said I, " have you lost all recollection of an 
 old pupil ? There was formerly one Gil Bias, as you may remem- 
 ber, a boarder in your house, and for some time your deputy." 
 " What I is it you, Santillane ?" answered he, with a cordial embrace. 
 " I should not have known you again. It, however, gives me great 
 pleasure to see you once more. What have you been doing since we 
 parted ? Doubtless you have made medicine your profession." " It 
 was very strongly my inclination so to do," replied I ; " but im- 
 perious circumstances made me reluctantly abandon so illustrious a 
 calling." 
 
 " So much the worse," rejoined Sangrado : " with the principles 
 you sucked in under my tuition, you would have become a physician 
 of the first skill and eminence, with the guiding influence of Heaven 
 to defend you from the dangerous allurements of chemistry. Ah, 
 my son !" pursued he with a mournful air, " what a change in prac- 
 tice within these few years ! The whole honor and dignity of the art is 
 compromised. That mystery by whose inscrutable decrees the lives 
 of men have in all ages been determined, is now laid open to the 
 rude, untutored gaze of blockheads, novices, and mountebanks. 
 Facts are stubborn things ; and ere long the very stones will cry 
 aloud against the rascality of these new practitioners : lapides clama- 
 bunll Why, sir, there are fellows in this town, calling themselves 
 physicians, who drag their degraded persons at the currus triumphalis 
 antimonii, or, as it should properly be translated, the cart's tail of an- 
 timony. Apostates from the faith of Paracelsus, idolaters of filthy 
 kermes, healers at haphazard, who make all the science of medicine 
 to consist in the preparation and prescription of drugs ! What a 
 change have I to announce to you ! There is not one stone left upon 
 another in the whole structure which our great predecessors had 
 raised. Bleeding in the feet, for example, so rarely practiced in 
 better times, is- now among the fashionable follies of the day. That
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 511 
 
 gentle, civilized system of evacuation, which prevailed under my 
 auspices, is subverted by the reign of anarchy and emetics, of quack- 
 ery and poison. In short, chaos has come again ! Every pne orders 
 what seems good in his own eyes; there is no deference to the 
 authority of ancient wisdom ; our masters are laid upon the shelf, 
 and their axioms not one tittle the more regarded for being deliv- 
 ered in languages as defunct as the subjects of their application." 
 
 However desirable it might seem to laugh at so whimsical a de- 
 clamation, I had the good manners to resist the impulse ; and not 
 only that, but to inveigh bitterly against kermes, without knowing 
 whether it was a vegetable or an animal, and to pour forth a com- 
 mination of curses against the authors and inventors of so diabolical 
 an engine. Scipio, observing my by-play in this scene, had a mind 
 to come in for his share in the banter. " Most venerable prop of the 
 true practice," said he to .Sangrado, " as I am descended in the third 
 generation from a physician of the old school, give me leave to join 
 you in your philippic against chemical conspiracies. My late illus- 
 trious progenitor Heaven forgive him all his sins ! was so warm a 
 partisan of Hippocrates, that he often came to blows with ignorant 
 pretenders, who vomited forth blasphemies against that high priest 
 of the faculty. What is bred in the bone will not come out of the 
 flesh : I could willingly inflict tortures and death with my own hands 
 on those rash innovators whose daring enormities you have charac- 
 terized with such accuracy of discrimination and such force of lan- 
 guage. When wretches like these gain an ascendency in civilized 
 society, can we wonder at the disjointed condition of the world ?" 
 
 " The times are even more out of joint than you are aware of," 
 said the doctor. " My book against the vanities and delusions of the 
 new practice might as well have fallen still-born from the press ; it 
 seems, if anything, to have acted by contraries, and to have exaspe- 
 rated heresy. The apothecaries, like the Titans of old, heaping 
 potion upon pill, and invading the Olympus of medicine, think 
 themselves fully qualified to usurp and maintain the throne, now 
 that it is only thought necessary to set open the doors, and to drive 
 the enemy out at the portal or the postern by main force. They go 
 to the length of infusing their deadly drugs into apozerns and cor- 
 dials, and then set themselves up against the most eminent of the 
 fraternity. This contagion has spread its influence even among the 
 cloisters. There are monks in our convents who unite surgery and 
 pharmacy to the labors of the confessional. These medical baboons 
 are always dipping their paws into chemistry, and inventing compo- 
 sitions strong enough to lay a scene of ecclesiastical mortality in the 
 temperate abodes of peace and religion. Now, there are in Valla- 
 dolid above sixty religious houses for both sexes : judge what ravage
 
 512 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 must have been made there by unmerciful pumping and the lancet 
 misapplied." " Signer Sangrado," said I, " you are perfectly in he 
 right to give these poisoners no quarter. I utter groan for groan 
 with you, and heave the philanthropic sigh over the invaded lives 
 of our fellow-creatures, sinking under the fell attack of so heterodox 
 a practice. It fills me with horror to think what a dead weight 
 chemistry may one day be to medicine, just as adulterated coin 
 operates on national credit. Far be that evil day from this gene- 
 ration I" 
 
 Just at this climax of our discourse, in came an old female ser- 
 vant, with a salver for the doctor, on which were a little light roll 
 and a glass with two decanters, the one filled with water and the 
 other with wine. After he had eaten a slice, he washed it down 
 with a diluted beverage, two parts water to one of wine; but this 
 temperate use of the good creature did- not at all save him from the 
 acrimony of my ridicule. "So so, good master doctor," said I, 
 "you are fairly caught in the fact. You a wine-bibber? you, who 
 have entered the lists like a knight-errant against that unauthenti- 
 cated fermentation? you, who reached your grand climacteric on 
 the strength of the pure element? How long have you been so at 
 odds with yourself? Your time of life can be no excuse for the 
 alteration : since, in one passage of your writings, you define old 
 age to be a natural consumption, which withers and attenuates the 
 system ; and as an inference from that position, you reprobate the 
 ignorance of those writers who dignify wine with the appellation 
 of old men's milk. What can you say, therefore, in your own de- 
 fence?" 
 
 " You belabor me most unjustly," answered the old physician. 
 " If I drank neat wine, you would have a right to treat me as a 
 deserter from my own standard ; but your eyes may convince you 
 that my wine is well mixed." " Another heresy, my dear apostle 
 of the wells and fountains !" replied I. " Recollect how you rated 
 the canon Sedillo for drinking wine, though plentifully dashed with 
 the salubrious fluid. Own modestly and candidly that your theory 
 was unfounded and fanciful, and that wine is not a poisonous 
 liquor, as you have so falsely and scandalously libelled it in your 
 works, any further than, like any other of nature's bounties, it may 
 be abused to excess." 
 
 This lecture sat rather uneasily on our doctor's feelings as a can- 
 didate for consistency. He could not deny his inveteracy against 
 the use of wine in all his publications ; but pride and vanity not 
 allowing him to acknowledge the justice of my attack on his apos- 
 tasy, he was left without a word to say for himself. Not wishing to 
 push my sarcasm beyond the bounds of good humor, I changed the
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 513 
 
 subject ; and after a few minutes' longer stay, took my leave, gravely 
 extorting him to maintain his ground against the new practitioners. 
 " Courage, Signor Sangrado !" said I , " never be weary of setting 
 your wits against kermes ; and deafen the health-dispensing tribe 
 with your thunders against the use of bleeding in the feet. If, spite 
 of all your zeal and affection for medical orthodoxy, this empiric 
 generation should succeed in supplanting true and legitimate prac- 
 tice, it would be at least your consolation to have exhausted your 
 best endeavors in the support of truth and reason." 
 
 As my secretary and myself were walking to the inn, making our 
 observations in high glee on the doctor's entertaining and original 
 character, a man from fifty-five to sixty years of age happened to 
 pass near us in the street, walking with his eyes fixed on the ground, 
 and a large rosary in his hand. I conned over the distinctive cut 
 of his appearance most cunningly, and was rewarded in the recog- 
 nition of Signor Manuel Ordonnez, that faithful trustee for the 
 affairs of the hospital, of whom so honorable mention is made in 
 the first volume of these true -and instructive memoirs. Accosting 
 him- with the most profound and unquestionable tokens of respect, 
 I paid my compliments in due form and order to the venerable and 
 trustworthy Signor Manuel Ordonnez, "the man of all the world 
 in whose hands the interests of the poor and needy are most safely 
 and beneficially placed." At these words he looked me steadfastly 
 in the face, and answered that my features were not altogether 
 strange to him, but that he could not recollect where he had seen 
 me. "I used to go backwards and forwards to your house," replied 
 I, " when one of my friends, by name Fabricio Nunez, was in your 
 service." "Ah! I recollect the circumstance at once," rejoined the 
 worthy director, with a cunning leer, " and have good reason to do 
 so ; for you were a brace of pleasant lads, and were by no means 
 backward in the little scapegrace tricks of youth and inexperience. 
 Well ! and what is become of poor Fabricio? Whenever he comes 
 across my thoughts, I cannot help feeling a little uneasy about his 
 temporal and eternal welfare." 
 
 " It was to relieve your mind upon that subject," said I to Signor 
 Manuel, "that I have taken the liberty of stopping you in the 
 street. Fabricio is settled at Madrid, where he employs himself 
 in publishing miscellanies and collections." " What do you mean 
 by miscellanies and collections?" replied he. "I mean," resumed 
 I, "that he writes in verse and prose, from epic poems and the 
 highest branches of philosophy, down to plays, novels, epigrams, 
 and riddles. In short, he is a lad of universal genius, and most 
 exemplary benevolence; sometimes modestly taking to himself the 
 credit of his own compositions, and sometimes lending out his 
 33
 
 514 ADVENTURES OF OIL EL AS. 
 
 talents to the literary ambition of those noblemen who write for 
 their own amusement, but wish their names to be concealed, except 
 from a chosen circle. By traffic like this, he sits at the very first 
 tables." " But how does he sit at his own ?" said the director ; 
 "upon what terms does he live with his baker?" "Not quite so 
 confidentially as with people of fashion," answered I ; " for, between 
 ourselves, I take him to be quite as much out at elbows as ever Job 
 was." " More bonds and judgments against him than ever Job had, 
 take my word for it !" replied Ordonnez. " Let him lick the spittle 
 of his titled friends and patrons, till his stomach heaves at the 
 nauseating saliva; his printed dedications and his oral flattery, in 
 spite of all the cringing and all the toad-eating which constitute 
 the stock in trade of his profession, with all the profits of his works, 
 whether by subscription or ordinary publication, will not bring grist 
 enough to his mill to keep hunger from the door Mind if what 
 I say does not turn out to be true ! He will come to the dogs at 
 last." 
 
 "Nothing more likely," replied I, "for he cohabits with the 
 muses already, and many a plain man has found to his cost that 
 there is no keeping company with the sisters without being worried 
 by their bullying brethren. My friend Fabricio would have done 
 much better by remaining quietly with your lordship ; he would 
 now have been lying on a bed of roses, and everything he had 
 touched would have turned to gold." " He would at least have 
 been in a very snug berth," said Manuel. " He was a great favorite 
 of mine, and I meant, by a regular gradation from subaltern to 
 principal situations, to have established him in ease and affluence 
 on the basis of public charity ; but the foolish fellow took it into 
 his head to set up for a wit. He wrote a play, and brought it out 
 at the theatre in this town. The piece went off tolerably well, and 
 nothing thenceforth would serve his turn but commencing author 
 by profession. Lope de Vega, in his estimation, was but a type of 
 him ; preferring, therefore, the intoxicating vapor of public ap- 
 plause to the plain roast and boiled of this substantial ordinary, he 
 came to me for his discharge. It was to no purpose for me to argue 
 the point, or to prove to him what a silly cur he was to drop 
 the bone and run after the shadow; the mad blockhead was so 
 suffocated by the smother of authorship, that the instinctive dread 
 of fire could not rouse his alacrity to escape burning. In short, he 
 was miserably unconscious of his own interest, as his successor can 
 testify, for he, possessing practical good sense, though without hall 
 Fabricio's quickness and versatility, makes it his whole study and 
 delight to go through his business in a workmanlike manner, and to 
 fell in with all my little ways. In return for such good conduct, I
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 515 
 
 pushed him forward in a manner corresponding with his deserts ; 
 and he unites in his own person, even at this time of day, two 
 offices in the hospital, the least lucrative of which would be more 
 than sufficient to place any honest man at his ease, though encum- 
 bered with a yearly teeming wife." 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 GIL BLAS CONTINUES HIS JOURNEY, AND ARRIVES AT OVIEDO. THE 
 CONDITION OF HIS FAMILY. HIS FATHER'S DEATH. 
 
 TT^ROM Valladolid we got to Oviedo in four days, without any 
 r* untoward accident on the road, in spite of the proverb which 
 says that robbers lay their ears to the ground when pilgrims are 
 going with rich offerings and traders are riding with fat purses. It 
 would have been a feasible as well as a tempting speculation. Two 
 tenants of a subterranean abode might have presented an aspect to 
 have frightened our doubloons into a surrender, for courage was not 
 one of the qualities I had imbibed at court, and Bertrand, my mule- 
 driver, seemed not to be of a temper to get his brains blown out in 
 defending a purse into which he had no free ingress. Scipio was the 
 only one of the party who was anything of a bully. 
 
 . It was night when we came into town. Our lodgings were at an 
 inn near my uncle, Gil Perez, the canon. I was very desirous of 
 ascertaining the circumstances of my parents before my first inter- 
 view with them, and in order to gain that information, it was im- 
 possible to make my inquiries in a better channel than through my 
 landlord and landlady, into the lines of whose faces you could not 
 look without being satisfied that they knew every tittle of their 
 neighbors' concerns. As it turned out, the landlord recognized me, 
 after a diligent perusal of my features, and cried out, " By Saint 
 Antony of Padua, this is the son of the honest usher Bias of Santil- 
 lane !" " Ay, indeed !" said the hostess, " and so it is, without a 
 single muscle altered, just for all the world that same little strip- 
 ling Gil Bias, of whom we used to say that he was as saucy as he 
 was high. It brings old times to my memory, when he used to 
 come hither with his bottle under his arm, to- fetch wine for his 
 uncle's supper." 
 
 "Madam," said I, "you have a most inveterate memory ; but for 
 goodness' sake change the subject, and tell me the modern news of
 
 516 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 my family. My father and mother are doubtless in no very envi- 
 able situation." " In good truth, you may say that," answered the 
 lady ; " you may rack your brains as long as you like, but you will 
 never think of anything half so miserable as what they are suffering 
 at this present moment. Gil Perez, good soul ! is defunct all down 
 one side by a stroke of the palsy, and the other half of him is little 
 better than a corpse ; we cannot expect him to last long. Then 
 your father, who went to live with his reverence a little while ago, 
 is troubled with an inflammation of the lungs, and is standing, as a 
 body may say, quavery-mavery between life and death, while your 
 mother, who is not over and above hale and hearty herself, is 
 obliged to nurse them both." 
 
 On this intelligence, which made me feel some compunctious 
 yearnings of nature, I left Bertrand with my stud and baggage at 
 the inn ; thefl, with my secretary at my heels, who would not desert 
 me in my time of need, I repaired to my uncle's house. The mo- 
 ment I came within my mother's reach, a natural emotion of 
 maternal instinct unfolded to her who I was, before her eyes could 
 possibly have run over the traces of my countenance. "Son," said 
 she, with a melancholy expression, after having embraced me, 
 " come and be present at your father's death ; your visit is just in 
 time to take in all the piteous circumstances of so deplorable an 
 event." With this heartrending reception, she led me by the hand 
 into a chamber where the wretched Bias of Santillane, stretched on 
 a comfortless bed, in cold and dismal accord with the thinness of 
 his fortunes, was just entering on the last great act of human nature. 
 Though surrounded by the shades of death, he was not quite uncon- 
 scious of what was passing about him. " My dearest friend," said 
 my mother, " here is your son Gil Bias, who entreats your forgive- 
 ness for all his undutiful behavior, and is come to ask your blessing 
 before you die." At these tidings my father opened his eyes, which 
 were on the point of closing forever : he fixed them upon me, and 
 reading in my countenance, notwithstanding the awful brink on 
 which he stood, that I was a sincere mourner for his loss, his feel- 
 ings were recalled to sympathy by my sorrow. He even made an 
 attempt to speak, but his strength was too much exhausted. I took 
 one of his hands in mine, and while I bathed it with my tears, in 
 speechless agony of soul, he breathed his last, as if he had only 
 waited my arrival to pay the debt of nature, and wing his way to 
 scenes of untried being. 
 
 This event had been too long present to my mother's mind to 
 overwhelm her with any unparalleled affliction. Perhaps it sat 
 more heavily on me than on her, though my father had never in his 
 life given me reason to feel for him as a father. But besides that
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 517 
 
 mere filial instinct would have made me weep over his cold re- 
 mains, I reproached myself with not having contributed to the com- 
 fort of his latter days ; thn, when I considered what a hard-hearted 
 villain I had been, I seemed to myself like a monster of ingratitude, 
 or rather like an impious parricide. My uncle, whom I afterwards 
 saw lying at his length on another wretched couch, and in a most 
 lamentable pickle, made me experience fresh agonies of upbraiding 
 conscience. " Unnatural son !" said I, communing with my own 
 uneasy thoughts, " behold the chastisement of Heaven upon thy 
 sins in the disconsolate condition of thy nearest relations. Hadst 
 thou but thrown to them the superflux of that abundance in which 
 before thy imprisonment thou rolledst, thou mightest have pro- 
 cured for them those little comforts which thy uncle's ecclesiastical 
 pittance was too scanty to furnish, and perhaps have lengthened out 
 the term of thy father's life." 
 
 Gil Perez had fallen into a state of second childhood, and was, 
 though numerically upon the list of the living, in every individual 
 organ a mere corpse. His memory, nay, his very senses had retired 
 from their allotted stations in his system. Bootless was it for me to 
 strain him in my pious arms, and lavish outward tokens of affection 
 on him : they might as well have been wasted on the desert air. To 
 as little purpose did my mother ring in his unnerved ear that I was 
 his nephew Gil Bias ; he gazed at me with a vacant, stupid stare, 
 and gave neither sign nor answer. Had the ties of consanguinity 
 and gratitude been all too weak to awaken my tender sympathy for 
 an uncle to whom I owed the means of my first launch into the 
 world, the impression of helpless dotage on my senses must have 
 softened me into something like the counterfeit of virtuous emotion. 
 
 While this scene was passing, Scipio preserved a melancholy 
 silence, sharing in all my sorrows, and mingling his sighs with 
 mine in the chastised luxury of friendship. But concluding that 
 my mother, after so long an absence, might wish to have some such 
 conversation with me as the presence of a stranger must rather re- 
 press than promote, I drew him aside, saying, " Go, my good fellow, 
 sit down quietly at the inn, and leave me here with my only sur- 
 viving parent, who might consider your company as an intrusion, 
 while talking over family affairs." Scipio withdrew, for fear of 
 being a clog upon our confidence, and I sat down with my mother 
 to an interchange of communication which lasted all night. We 
 reciprocally gave a faithful account of all that had happened to 
 each of us since my first sally from Oviedo. She related in full 
 measure and running over all the petty insults, disappointments, 
 and mortifications which she had undergone in her pilgrimage from 
 house to house as a duenna. A great number of these little anec-
 
 518 ADVENTURES OF GIL DLA8. 
 
 dotes it would have hurt my pride that my secretary should have 
 noted down in his biographical budget, though I had never con- 
 cealed from him the ups and downs in Jhe lottery of my own life. 
 With all the respect I owe to my mother's sainted memory, the good 
 lady had not the knack of going the shortest road to the end of a 
 story ; had she but pruned her own memoirs of all luxuriant circum- 
 stances, there would not have been materials for more than a tithe 
 of her narrative. 
 
 At length she got to the end of her tether, and I began my career. 
 With respect to my general adventures, I passed them over lightly ; 
 but when I came to speak of the visit which the son of Bertrand 
 Muscada, the grocer of Oviedo, had paid me at Madrid, I enlarged 
 with decent compunction on that dark article in the history of my 
 life. " I must frankly own," said I to my mother, " that I gave that 
 young fellow a very bad reception ; and he, doubtless, in revenge, 
 must have drawn a hideous outline of my moral features." " He 
 did you more than justice, I trust," answered she ; " for he told us 
 that he found you so puffed and swollen with the good fortune 
 thrust upon you by the prime minister, as scarcely to acknowledge 
 him among your former acquaintance ; and, when he gave you a 
 moving description of our miseries, you listened as if you had no 
 interest in the tale, or knowledge of the parties. But as fathers and 
 mothers can always find some clew for palliation in the conduct of 
 their graceless children, we were loath to believe that you had so 
 bad a heart. Your arrival at Oviedo justifies our favorable inter- 
 pretation, and those tears which are now flowing down your cheeks 
 are so many pledges either of your innocence or your reformation." 
 " Your constructions were too partial," replied I ; " there was a 
 great deal of truth in young Muscada's report. When he came to 
 see me, all my faculties were engrossed by vanity and mammon ; 
 ambition, the prevailing devil which possessed me, left not a thought 
 to throw away on the desolate condition of my parents. It, there- 
 fore, could be no wonder if, in such a disposition of mind, I gave 
 rather a freezing reception to a man who, accosting me in a per- 
 emptory style, took upon him to say, without mincing the matter, 
 that it was well known I was as rich as a Jew, and therefore he ad- 
 vised me to send you a good round sum, seeing that you were very 
 much put to your shifts ; nay, he went so far as to reproach me, in 
 phrase of more sincerity than good manners, with my unfeeling neg- 
 ligence of my family. His confounded personality stuck in my 
 throat; so that, losing my little stock of patience, I shoved him 
 fairly by the shoulders out of my closet. It must be confessed that 
 I took the administration of justice a little too much into my own 
 hands, being judge and party in the same cause ; neither was it
 
 ADVENTUltES OF GIL BLAS. 519 
 
 proper that you should bear the brunt, because the grocer was a 
 little anti-saccharine in his phraseology ; nor was his advice the less 
 pertinent or just, though couched in homely terms, or urged with 
 plodding vulgarity. 
 
 " All this came plump in the teeth of my conscience the moment 
 I had turned Muscada out of doors. The voice of natural instinct 
 contrived to make its way ; my duty to my parents brought the 
 blood into my face; but it was the blush of shame for its neglect,. 
 and not the glow of triumph at its performance. Yet even my re- 
 morse can give me little credit in your eyes, since it was soon stifled 
 in the fumes of avarice and ambition. But some time afterwards, 
 having been safely lodged in the tower of Segovia by royal mandate, 
 I fell dangerously ill there; and that timely remembrancer was the 
 cause of bringing back your son to you. So true is it that sickness 
 and imprisonment were my best moral tutors; for they enabled 
 Nature to resume her rights, and weaned me effectually from the 
 court. Henceforth, all my dear delight is in solitude ; and my only 
 business in the Asturias is to entreat that you would share with me 
 in the mild pleasures of a retired life. If you reject not my earnest 
 petition, I will attend you to an estate of mine in the kingdom of 
 Valencia, and we will live there together very comfortably. You 
 are, of course, aware that I intended to take my father thither also ; 
 but since Heaven has ordained it otherwise, let me at least have the 
 satisfaction of affording an asylum to my mother, and making amends 
 by all the attentions in my power, for the fallow seasons in the 
 former harvest of my filial duty." 
 
 " I accept your kind intentions in very good part," said my mother, 
 " and would take the journey without hesitation if I saw no obstacles 
 in the way. But to desert your uncle in his present condition would 
 be unpardonable ; and I am too much accustomed to this part of 
 the country to like living elsewhere : nevertheless, as the proposal 
 deserves to be maturely weighed, I will consider further of it at my 
 leisure. At present your father's funeral requires to be ordered and 
 arranged." "As for that," said I, "we will leave it to the care of 
 the young man whom you saw with me ; he is my secretary, with 
 as clever a head and as good a heart as you have often been ac- 
 quainted with ; let the business rest with him ; it cannot be in 
 better hands." 
 
 Hardly had I pronounced these words when Scipio came back ; 
 for it was already broad day. He inquired whether he could be of 
 any service in our present distresses. I answered that he was come 
 just in time to receive some very important directions. As soon as 
 he was made acquainted with tho business in hand, " A word to the 
 wise," said he : " the whole procession, with its appropriate heraldry,
 
 520 ADVENTUJtEti OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 is already marshalled in this head of mine ; you may trust me for a 
 very pretty funeral." " Have a care," said my mother, "to make it 
 plain and decent, without anything like pomp or parade. It can 
 scarcely be too humble for my husband, whom all the town knows 
 to have been low in rank and indigent in circumstances." " Madam," 
 replied Scipio, " though he had been the meanest and most destitute 
 of the human race, I would not bate one button in the array of his 
 posthumous honors. My master's credit is at stake in the proper 
 conduct of the ceremony ; he has been in an ostensible situation 
 under the Duke of Lerma, and his father ought to be buried with 
 all the forms of state and nobility." 
 
 I thought exactly as my secretary did upon the subject, and even 
 so far as to bid him spare no expense on the occasion. A little 
 ieaven of vanity still fermented in the mass of my philosophy, and 
 rose in my bosom with all the effervescence of its original lightness. 
 I nattered myself that by lavishing posthumous honors on a father 
 who had blessed the day of his decease by no lucrative bequest, I 
 should instill into the conceptions of the bystanders a high sense of 
 my generous nature. My mother, on her part, whatever airs of 
 humility she might put on, had no dislike to seeing her husband 
 carried out with due observance of funeral pomp and ceremony. We 
 therefore left Scipio to do just as he pleased ; and he, without a mo- 
 ment's delay, adopted all the necessary measures for the display of 
 the undertaker's liveliest fancy. 
 
 The genius of that artist was called forth but too successfully. 
 His emblems, devices, and draperies were so ostentatious as to disgust 
 the natives : every individual, whether of the town or the suburbs, 
 whether high or low, rich or poor, felt shocked and insulted by this 
 after-thought parade. " This ministerial beggar on horseback," said 
 one, " can put his hand into his pocket for his father's funeral baked 
 meats, but never found in his heart wherewithal to furnish his living 
 table with common necessaries." " It would have been much more to 
 the purpose," said another, " to have made the old gentleman's latter 
 days comfortable, than to have wasted such thriftless sums on a 
 post-obit act of filial munificence." In short, quips of the brain and 
 peltings of the tongue pattered round our execrated heads. It would 
 have been well had the storm been only a whirlwind of passion or 
 hurricane of words; but we were all, Scipio, Bertrand, and myself, 
 corporally admonished of our misdeeds on our coming nut of church ; 
 they abused us like pickpockets, made mouths and odious noises as 
 we passed, and followed Bertrand at his heels to the inn with a copious 
 volley of stones and mud. To disperse the mob which hf><! collected 
 before my uncle's house, my mother was obliged to show herself at 
 the window, and to declare publicly that she was thoroughly satisfied
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 521 
 
 with my proceedings. Another detachment had filed off to the 
 stable-yard where my carriage stood, in the full determination of 
 breaking it to pieces ; and this they would inevitably have done, if 
 the landlord and landlady had not found some means of quieting 
 their perturbed spirits, and turning them aside from their outrageous 
 purpose. 
 
 All these affronts, so revolting to my dignity, the effect of the 
 tales which the young grocer had been spreading about town, in- 
 spired me with such a thorough hatred for my native place that I 
 determined on quitting Oviedo almost immediately, though but for 
 this bustle I might have made it my residence for some time. I an- 
 nounced my intention, with the reasons of it, to my mother, who, 
 considering my uncouth reception as no very flattering compliment 
 to herself, did not urge my longer stay among people so little in- 
 clined to treat me civilly. The only point remaining npwto be dis- 
 cussed was her future destiny and provision. " My dear mother," 
 said I, " since my uncle stands so much in need of your attendance, 
 I will no longer urge you to go along with me ;.but, as his days seem 
 likely to be very few on earth, you must promise to come and take 
 up your abode with me at my farm as soon as the last duties are per- 
 formed to his honored remains." 
 
 " I shall make no such promise," answered my mother, " for I 
 mean to pass the remnant of my days in the Asturias, and in a state of 
 perfect independence." " Will you not on all occasions," replied I, 
 " be absolute mistress in my household?" " May be so, and may be 
 not," rejoined she : "you have only to fall in love with some flirt of 
 a girl, and then you will marry : then she will be my daughter-in- 
 law, and I shall be her step-mother ; and then we shall live together 
 as step-mothers and daughters-in-law usually do." " Your prog- 
 nostics," said I, " are fetched from a great distance. I have not at 
 present the most remote intention of entering into the happy state ; 
 but even though such a whim should take possession of my brain, I 
 will pledge myself for instructing my wife betimes in an implicit 
 submission to your will and pleasure." " That is giving security 
 without the means of making good your contract," replied my 
 mother ; " you would scarcely be able to justify bail. I would, not 
 even swear that, in our sparring matches, you might not take your 
 wife's part in preference to mine, however ill she might behave, or 
 however unreasonably she might argue." 
 
 " You talk very excellent sense, madam," cried my secretary, 
 coming in for a share of the conversation; "I think just as you 
 do, that docility is about as much the virtue of a donkey as of a 
 daughter-in-law. As the matter stands, that there may be no differ- 
 ence of opinion between my master and you, since you are absolutely
 
 622 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 determined to live asunder, you in the Asturias, and he in the king- 
 dom of Valencia, he must allow you an annuity of a hundred pis- 
 toles, and send me hither every year for the payment. By thus 
 arranging matters, mother and son will be very good friends, with 
 an interval of two hundred leagues between them." The parties 
 concerned fell in at once with the proposal. I paid the first year in 
 advance, and stole out of Oviedo the ne*xt morning before dawn, for 
 fear of vying with Saint Stephen in popular favor. Such were the 
 charms of my return to my native place. An admirable lesson this, 
 for those successful upstarts who, having gone abroad to make their 
 fortunes, come home to be the purse-proud tyrants of their birth- 
 place. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 GIL- BLAS SETS OUT FOR VALENCIA, AND ARRIVES AT LIRIAS. DE- 
 SCRIPTION OF HIS SEAT. PARTICULARS OF HIS RECEPTION. 
 
 WE took the road for Leon, afterwards that of Valencia ; and, 
 continuing our journey by short stages, arrived on the even- 
 ing' of the tenth day at the town of Segorba, whence early on the 
 morrow we repaired to my seat, at the distance of very little more 
 than three leagues. In proportion as we approached nearer, it was 
 amusing to see with what a longing eye my secretary looked at all 
 the estates which lay in our way, to the right and left of the road. 
 Whenever he caught a glimpse of any which bespoke the rank and 
 opulence of its owner, he never missed pointing at it with his finger, 
 and wishing that were the place of our retreat. 
 
 "I know not, my good friend," said I, "what idea you have formed 
 of our habitation ; but if you have taken it into your head that ours 
 is a magnificent house, with the domain of a great landed proprietor, 
 I warn you in time that you are laying much too flattering an unction 
 to your vanity. If you have no mind to be the dupe of a warm im- 
 agination, figure to yourself the little ornamented cottage which 
 Horace fitted up near Tibur, in the country of the Sabines, on a 
 small farm, the fee-simple of which was given him by Maecenas. Don 
 Alphonso has made me just such another present, more as a token 
 of affection than for the value of the thing." "Then I must expect 
 to see nothing but a dirty hovel!" exclaimed Scipio. "Bear in 
 mind," replied I, "that I have always given you quite an unvar- 
 nished description of my place ; and now, even at this moment, you
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 523 
 
 may judge for yourself whether I have not stuck to truth and nature 
 in my representations. Just carry your eye along the course of the 
 Guadalaviar, and observe at a little distance from the further bank, 
 near that hamlet, consisting of nine or ten tenements, a house with 
 four small turrets : that is my mansion." 
 
 " The deuce and all !" stammered out my secretary, short-breathed 
 with sudden admiration : " why, that house is one of the prettiest 
 things in nature. Besides the castellated air which those turrets 
 give it, all the beauties of situation and architecture, fertility of 
 soil, and perfection of landscape, combine to rival or excel the im- 
 mediate neighborhood of Seville, complimented as it is for its pic- 
 turesque attractions by the appellation of an earthly paradise. Had 
 we chosen the place of our settlement for ourselves, it could not 
 have been more to my taste : a river meanders through the grounds, 
 distilling plenty and verdure from its fertilizing bosom ; the leafy 
 honors of an umbrageous wood invite the mid-day walk, and qualify 
 the temperature of the seasons. What a heavenly abode of solitude 
 and contemplation ! Ah ! my dear master, we shall act very fool- 
 ishly if we are in a hurry to run away from our happiness." " I 
 am delighted," answered I, " that you are so well satisfied with the 
 retreat provided for us, though yet acquainted with only a small 
 part of its attractions." 
 
 As we were chatting in this strain, we got nearer and' nearer to 
 the house, where the door opened as by magic, the moment Scipio 
 announced Signer Gil Bias de Santillane, who was coming to take 
 possession of his estate. At the mention of this name, received with 
 reverential homage by the people who had been instructed in the 
 transfer of their obedience, my carriage was admitted into a large 
 court, where I alighted ; then, leaning with all my weight upon 
 Scipio, as if walking were a derogation from my dignity, and putting 
 on the great man after the most consequential models, I reached the 
 hall, where, on my entrance, seven or eight servants made their 
 obeisances. They told me they were come to welcome their new 
 master with their best loves and duties ; that Don Caesar and Don 
 Alphonso de Leyva had chosen them to form my establishment, 
 one in quality of cook, another as under-cbok, a third as scullion, a 
 fourth as porter, and the rest as footmen ; with an express injunc- 
 tion to receive no wages or perquisites, as those two noblemen meant 
 to defray all the expenses of my household. The cook, Master 
 Joachim by name, was commander-in-chief of this battalion, and 
 announced to me the whole array of the campaign ; he declared 
 that he had laid in a large stock of the choicest wines in Spain, and 
 insinuated that for the solid supply of the table, he flattered him- 
 self a person of his education and experience, who had been six
 
 524 ADVENTURES OF <HL IS LAS. 
 
 years at the head of my Lord Archbishop of Valencia's kitchen, 
 must know how to dish up a dinner so as to meet the ideas of the 
 most fastidious layman in Christendom. " But the proof of the 
 pudding is in the eating," added he ; " so I will just go an.d give 
 you a specimen of my talent. You had better take a walk, my lord, 
 while dinner is getting ready; look about the premises, and see 
 whether you find them in tenantable condition for a person of your 
 lordship's dignity." 
 
 The reader may guess whether I did not stir my stumps; and 
 Scipio, still more eager than myself to take a bird's-eye inventory 
 of our goods and chattels, dragged me back and fore from room to 
 room. There was not a corner of the house that we did not peep 
 into, from the garret to the cellar ; not a closet or a cranny, at least 
 as we supposed, could escape our prying curiosity ; and in every 
 fresh room we went into, I had occasion to admire the kindness of 
 Don Csesar and his son towards me. I was struck, among other 
 things, with two apartments, which were as elegantly furnished as 
 they could be without misplaced magnificence. One of them was 
 hung with tapestry, the celebrated manufacture of the Low Coun- 
 tries ; the velvet bed and chairs were still very handsome, though 
 in the fashion of the time when the Moors possessed the kingdom 
 of Valencia. The furniture of the other room was in the same taste : 
 to wit, an old suit of hangings, made of yellow Genoa damask, with 
 a bed and arm-chairs to match, fringed with blue silk. All these 
 effects, which would have furnished but a sorry display in an up- 
 holsterer's shop, made no contemptible appearance in their present 
 situation. 
 
 After having rummaged over every article of the paraphernalia, 
 my secretary and myself returned to the dining-room, where the 
 cloth was laid for two ; we sat down, and in an instant they served 
 up so delicious an olla podrida, that we could not help revolving 
 on the various turns of the fate below, which had parted the good 
 Archbishop of Valencia from his cook. We had in truth a most 
 catholic and ravenous appetite a circumstance which added new 
 zest to our praises and enjoyments. Between every succeeding help, 
 my servants, with all the "alacrity of fresh and holiday service, filled 
 our large glasses to the brim with wine, the choicest vintage of La 
 Mancha. Scipio, not thinking it genteel to express aloud the in- 
 ward chucklings of his heart at our dainty fare, winked and nodded 
 his delight, and spoke by signs, which I returned with the like 
 dumb eloquence of overflowing satisfaction. The remove was a 
 dish of roast quails, flanking a little leveret in high order, just kept 
 long enough ; for this we left our hash, good as it was, and gorged 
 ourselves to a surfeit on the game. When we had eaten as if we
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS, 525 
 
 had never eaten before, and pledged one another in due proportion, 
 we rose from table, and went into the garden to look out for some 
 cool, pleasant spot, and take our afternoon's nap voluptuously. 
 
 If hitherto my secretary had goggled satisfaction at what he had 
 seen, he stared wider and grinned broader at this vista vision of the 
 garden. He scarcely allowed the comparison to be in favor of the 
 Escurial. The reason of its extreme niceness was, that Don Csesar, 
 who came backwards and forwards to Lirias, took pleasure in im- 
 proving and ornamenting it. All the walks well gravelled and lined 
 with orange trees, a large reservoir of white marble, with a lion in 
 bronze spouting water like a dolphin's deputy in the middle, the 
 beauty of the flower borders, the profusion and variety of the fruit 
 trees, such pretty particulars as these made Scipio smack his lips, 
 and snuff the air ; but his raptures reached their summit at the 
 gradual descent of a long walk, leading to the bailiff's cottage, and 
 overarched by the interwoven boughs of the trees planted on each 
 side* While eulogizing a place so well adapted for a refuge from 
 the intenseness of the heat, we made a halt, and sat down at the 
 foot of an elm, where sleep required very little cunning to entangle 
 two high-fed, half- tipsy blades, just risen from so voluptuous and 
 voracious a repast. 
 
 In about two hours we were startled out of our sleep by the report 
 of musketry, popping so near the headquarters of our repose that 
 we apprehended the camp to be attacked. On the alert ! was the 
 first idea that invaded our dozing minds. That we might procure 
 the most authentic intelligence in what direction the enemy was 
 approaching, we directed our march towards the bailiff's tenement. 
 There were collected eight or ten clodhoppers, all friends and 
 neighbors, assembled on the green for the purpose of honoring my 
 arrival, just communicated to the dull senses of the said clodhoppers 
 by a discharge of firearms, whose barrels and furniture might thank 
 me for the unusual favor of a thorough cleaning. The greater part 
 of them were acquainted with my person, having seen me more than 
 once at the castle, while engaged in the business of my stewardship. 
 No sooner did they set eyes on me than they all shouted in unison, 
 "Long life to our new lord and master! Welcome to Lirias!" 
 Then they loaded once again, and fired another volley in honor of 
 the occasion. My habits and manners were softened down to the 
 most condescending urbanity, though with a decorous infusion of 
 distance, lest any degrading constructions might be put upon too 
 unlimited a freedom of address. With respect to my protection, I 
 promised it according to the customary charter of newly-installed 
 possessors, and went so far as to throw them a purse of twenty pis- 
 toles ; and this, in my opinion, was the point of all others in my
 
 526 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 conduct which touched their hearts most nearly. After this bene- 
 faction, I left them at liberty to waste as much powder as they 
 pleased, and withdrew with my secretary into the wood, where we 
 walked to and fro till nightfall, without being at all tired of our 
 rural prospect, so many charms had the view of a landscape, height- 
 ened by the substantial beauties of ownership in fee-simple, to our 
 elevated and delighted imaginations I 
 
 The cook, the under-cook, and the scullion were not resting upon 
 their oars all this time ; they were working hard to fit up for us an 
 artifice of belly timber more magnificent than what we had already 
 demolished, so that we were over head and ears in amazement, 
 when, on our return to the room where we had dined, we saw on the 
 table a dish of four roast partridges, with a smothered rabbit on one 
 side and a fricasseed capon on the other. The second course con- 
 sisted of pigs' ears, jugged game, and chocolate cream. We drank 
 deeply of the most delicious wines, and began to think of going to 
 bed when it became a matter of doubt whether we could sit up any 
 longer. Then my people, with lighted candles before me, led the 
 way to the best bedroom, where they were all most officious in assist- 
 ing to undress me ; but when they had tende/ed me my gown and 
 nightcap, I dismissed them with an authoritative undulation of my 
 hand, signifying that their services were dispensed with for the re- 
 mainder of that night. 
 
 Thus I sent them all about their business, keeping Scipio for a 
 little private conference between ourselves ; and I led to it by ask- 
 ing him what he thought of my reception, as arranged by order of 
 my noble patrons. " Indeed and indeed," answered he, " the human 
 heart could not devise anything more delicious ; I only wish we may 
 go on as we have begun." " I have no wish of the kind," replied I: 
 " it is contrary to my principles to allow that my benefactors should 
 put themselves to so much expense on my account ; it would be a 
 downright fraud upon their benevolence. Besides, I could never 
 feel myself at home with servants in the pay of other people ; it is 
 just like living in a lodging or an inn. Then it is to be remembered 
 that I did not come hither to live upon so expensive a scale. What 
 occasion have we for so large an establishment of servants ? Our 
 utmost want, with Bertrand, is a ,cook, a scullion, and a footman." 
 Though my secretary would not have been at all sorry to table for a 
 continuance at the governor of Valencia's expense, he did not 
 oppose his own luxurious taste to my moral delicacy, but con- 
 formed at once to my sentiments, and approved the reduction I was 
 meditating to introduce. That point being decided, he left my 
 chamber, and betook himself to his pillow in his own.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 527 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 JOURNEY TO VALENCIA, AND A VISIT TO THE LORDS OF LEYVA. 
 CONVERSATION OF THE GENTLEMEN. 
 
 I GOT my clothes off as soon as possible, and went to bed, where, 
 finding no great inclination to sleep, I communed with my own 
 thoughts. The mutual attachment between the lords of Leyva and 
 myself was uppermost in the various topics of my contemplation. 
 With my heart full of their late kindness, I determined on setting 
 out for their residence the next day, and quenching my impatience 
 to thank them for their favors. Neither was it a slender gratifica- 
 tion to anticipate another interview with Seraphina, though there 
 was somewhat of alloy in that pleasure ; it was impossible to reflect 
 without shuddering that I should at the same time have to encoun- 
 ter the glances of Dame Lorenzo Sephora, who might not be 
 greatly delighted at the renewal of our acquaintance, should her 
 memory happen to stumble upon the circumstances connected with 
 a certain box on the ear. With my mind exhausted by all these 
 different suggestions, my eyelids at length closed, and the sun had 
 peeped in at my window long before they had turned on their 
 hinges. 
 
 I was soon out of bed, and dressed myself with all possible expe- 
 dition, in the. earnest desire of prosecuting my intended journey. 
 Just as I had finished my hasty operations, my secretary came into 
 the room. " Scipio," said .1, " you behold a man on the point of 
 setting out for Valencia. I ought to lose no time in paying my 
 respects to those noblemen to whom I am indebted for my little 
 independence. Every moment of delay in the performance of this 
 duty throws a new weight of ingratitude on my conscience. As for 
 you, my friend, there is no necessity for your attendance ; stay here 
 during my absence ; I shall come back to you within the space of a 
 week." " Heaven speed you, sir !" answered he ; " be sure you do 
 not slight Don Alphonso and his father : they seem to me to thrill 
 with the kindly vibrations of friendship, and to be unbounded in 
 their acknowledgment of obligation ; gratitude and benevolence are 
 so uncommon in people of rank, that they deserve to be made the 
 most of where found." I sent a message to Bertrand, to hold him- 
 self in readiness for setting out, and took my chocolate while he was 
 'harnessing the mules. When all was prepared, I got into my car- 
 riage, after having directed my people to consider my secretary as 
 master of the house in my absence, and to obey his orders as if they 
 were my own.
 
 528 ADVKXTmEf! OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 I got to Valencia in less than four hours, and drove at once to 
 the governor's stables, where I alighted and left my equipage. On 
 going to the house, I was informed that Don Caesar and his son were 
 together. I did not wait for an introduction, but went in without 
 ceremony ; and addressing myself to both of them, " Servants," said 
 I, "never send in their names to their masters; here is an old piece 
 of family furniture, not ornamental indeed, but of a fashion when 
 gratitude was neither out of date nor out of countenance." These 
 words were accompanied with an effort to throw myself on my 
 knees; but they anticipated my purpose, and embraced me one 
 after the other with all possible evidence of sincere affection. " Well, 
 then, my dear Santillane," said Don Alphonso, " you have been at 
 Lirias to take possession of your little property." " Yes, my lord," 
 answered I ; " and my next request is, that you would be pleased to 
 take it back again." " What is your reason for that ?" replied he. 
 " Is there anything about it at all offensive to your taste?" "Not 
 in the place itself," rejoined I ; "on the contrary, that is everything 
 that my heart can wish ; the only fault I have to find with it is that 
 the kitchen smells too strongly of the hierarchy ; a lay Christian 
 should not live like an archbishop; besides that, there are three 
 times as many servants as are necessary, and consequently you are 
 put to an expense at once enormous and useless." 
 
 " Had you accepted the annuity of two thousand ducats, which 
 we offered you at Madrid," said Don Caesar, "we should have 
 thought it enough to give you the mansion furnished as it is; but 
 you know you refused it ; and we felt it but right to do what we 
 have done as an equivalent." " Your bounty has been too lavish," 
 answered I ; " the gift of the estate was the utmost limit to which it 
 should have been extended, and that was more than sufficient to 
 crown my largest wishes. But to say nothing about what it has 
 cost you to keep up so great and expensive an establishment, I de- 
 clare to you most solemnly that these people stand in my way, and 
 are a great annoyance. In one word, gentlemen, either take back 
 your boon, or give me leave to enjoy it in my own way." I pro- 
 nounced these last words so much as if I were in earnest, that the 
 father and son, not meaning to lay me under any unpleasant re- 
 straint, at length gave me their permission to manage my household 
 as it should seem expedient to my better judgment. 
 
 I was thanking them very kindly for having granted me that 
 privilege, without which a dukedom would have been but splendid 
 slavery, when Don Alphonso interrupted me by saying, "My dear 
 Gil Bias, I will introduce you to a lady who will be extremely 
 happy to see you." Thus preparing me for the interview, he took 
 me by the hand and led the way to Seraphina's apartment, who set
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 529 
 
 up a scream of joy on recognizing me. " Madam," said the gov- 
 ernor, " I flatter myself that the visit of our friend Santillane at 
 Valencia is not less acceptable to you than myself." "On that 
 head," answered she, " he may rest confidently assured ; time has 
 not obliterated the remembrance of the service which he once ren- 
 dered me ; and to that must be added a new debt of gratitude in- 
 curred on the score of your obligations." I told the governor's lady 
 that I was already too well requited for the danger which I had 
 shared in common with her deliverers in exposing my life for her 
 sake : compliments to the like effect were bandied about for some 
 time on both sides, when Don Alphonso motioned to quit Sera- 
 phina's room. We then went back to Don Caesar, whom we 
 found in the saloon with a fashionable party, who were come to 
 dinner. 
 
 All these gentlemen were introduced, and paid their compliments 
 to me in the politest manner ; nor did their attentions relax in as- 
 siduity when Don Caesar told them that I had been one of the Duke 
 of Lerma's principal secretaries. In all likelihood several of them 
 might not be unacquainted that Don Alphonso had been promoted 
 to the government of Valencia by my interest, for political secrets 
 are seldom kept. However that might be, while we were at table, 
 the conversation principally turned on the new cardinal. Some of 
 the company either were or affected to be his unqualified admirers, 
 while others allowed his merit upon the whole, but thought it had 
 been rather overrated. I plainly saw through their design of draw- 
 ing me on to enlarge on the subject of his eminence, and to gratify 
 their taste for scandal with court anecdotes at his expense. I could 
 have been well enough pleased to have delivered rny real sentiment's 
 on his character, but I kept my tongue within my teeth, and thereby 
 passed, in the estimation of the guests, for a close, confidential, 
 politic, trustworthy young statesman. 
 
 The party respectively retired home after dinner to take their 
 usual nap, when Don Csesar and his son, yielding to a similar in- 
 clination, shut themselves up in their apartments. 
 
 For my own part, full of impatience to see a town which I had so 
 often heard extolled for its beauty, I went out of the governor's 
 palace with the intention of walking through the streets. At the 
 gate a man accosted me with the following address : " Will Signer 
 de Santillane allow me to take the liberty of paying my respects to 
 him ?" I asked him who and what he was. " I am Don Caesar's 
 valet-de-chambre," answered he, " but was one of his ordinary foot- 
 men during your stewardship ; I used to make my court to you every 
 morning, and you used to take a great deal of notice of me. I regu- 
 larly gave you intelligence of what was passing in the house. Do 
 34
 
 530 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 you recollect my .apprising you one day that the village surgeon of 
 Loyvu was privately admitted into Dame Lorenza Sephora's bed- 
 rlmmber?" "It is a circumstance which I have by no means for- 
 gotten," replied I. " But now that we are talking of that formid- 
 able duenna, what is become of her?" "Alas!" resumed he, "the 
 poor creature moped and dwindled after your departure, and at 
 length gave up the ghost, more to the grief of Seraphina than of 
 Don Alphonso, who seemed to consider her death as no great evil." 
 
 Don Caesar's valet-de-chambre, having thus acquainted me with 
 Sephora's melancholy end, made a humble apology for having pre- 
 sumed to stop my walk, and then left me to continue my progress. 
 I could not help paying the tribute of a sigh to the memory of that 
 ill-fated duenna ; and her decease affected me the more because I 
 taxed myself with that melancholy catastrophe, though a moment's 
 reflection would have convinced me that the grave owed ifs precious 
 prey to the inroads of her cancer, rather than to the cruel charms of 
 my person. 
 
 I looked with an eye of pleasure upon everything worth notice in 
 the town. The archbishop's marble palace feasted my eyes with all 
 the magnificence of architecture , nor were the piazzas which sur- 
 rounded the exchange much inferior in commercial grandeur ; but a 
 large building at a distance, with a great crowd standing before the 
 doors, attracted all my attention. I went nearer, to ascertain the 
 reason why so great a concourse of both sexes was collected, and 
 was soon let into the secret by reading the following inscription in 
 letters of gold on a tablet of black marble over the door : La Posada 
 de los Representantes. The play-bills announced for that day a new 
 tragedy, never performed, and gave the name of Don Gabriel Tria- 
 quero as the author. 
 
 CHAPTEE V. 
 
 GIL BLAS GOES TO THE PLAY, AND SEES A NEW TRAGEDY. SUCCESS OF 
 THE PIECE. THE PUBLIC TASTE AT VALENCIA. 
 
 I STOPPED for some minutes before the door, to make my re- 
 marks on the people who were going in. They were of all sorts 
 and sizes. Here was a knot of genteel-looking fellows, whose tailors 
 at least had done justice to their fashionable pretensions ; there, a 
 mob of ill-favored and ill-mannered mortals, in a garb to identify 
 vulgarity. To the right was a bevy of noble ladies, alighted from
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 531 
 
 their carriages to take possession of their private boxes ; to the left, 
 a tribe of female traders in lubricity, who came to sell their wares iu 
 the lobby. This mixed concourse of spectators, as various in their 
 minds as in their faces, gave me an itching inclination to increase 
 their number. Just as I was taking my check, the governor and 
 his lady drove up. They spied me out in the crowd, and having sent 
 for me, took me with them to their box, where I placed myself behind 
 them, in such a position as to converse at my ease with either. 
 
 The theatre was filled with spectators from the ceiling downwards, 
 the pit thronged almost to suffocation, and the stage crowded with 
 knights of the three military orders. " Here is a full house," said I 
 to Don Alphonso. " You are not to consider that as anything ex- 
 traordinary," answered he ; " the tragedy now about to be produced 
 is from the pen of Don Gabriel Triaquero, the most fashionable 
 dramatic writer of his day. Whenever the play-bill announces any 
 novelty from this favorite author, the whole town of Valencia is in 
 a bustle. The men as well as the women talk incessantly on the 
 subject of the piece; all the boxes are taken ; and on the first night 
 of performance there is a risk of broken limbs in getting in, though 
 the price of admission is doubled, with the exception of the pit, 
 which is too authoritative a part of the house for the proprietors to 
 tamper with its patience." " What a paroxysm of partiality !" said 
 I to the governor. " This eager curiosity of the public, this hot- 
 headed impatience to be present at the first representation of Don 
 Gabriel's pieces, gives me a magnificent idea of that poet's genius." 
 
 At this period of our conversation the curtain rose. We imme- 
 diately left off talking, to fix our whole attention fin the stage. The 
 applauses were rapturous even at the prologue: as the performance 
 advanced, every sentiment and situation, nay, almost every line of 
 the piece, called forth a burst of acclamation ; and at the end of 
 each act the clapping of hands was so loud and incessant as almost 
 to bring the building about our ears. After the dropping of the cur- 
 tain, the author was pointed out to me, going about from box to 
 box, and with all the modesty of a successful poet, submitting his 
 head to the imposition of those laurels which the genteeler and 
 especially the fairer part of the audience had prepared for his 
 coronation. 
 
 We returned to the governor's palace, where we were met by a 
 party of three or four gentlemen. Besides these mere amateurs, 
 there were two veteran authors of considerable eminence in their 
 line, and a gentleman of Madrid with tolerably fair claims to criti- 
 cal authority and judgment. They had all been at the play. The 
 new piece was the only topic of conversation during supper-time. 
 " Gentlemen," said a knight of St. James, " what do you think of
 
 632 ADVENTURES OF GIL PL AS. 
 
 this tragedy ? Has it not every claim to the character of a finished 
 work? Thoughts that breathe and words that burn, a hand to 
 touch the true chords of pity and sweep the lyre of poetry requi- 
 sites how rarely and yet how admirably united ! In a word, -it is 
 the performance of a person mixjng in the higher circles of society." 
 "There can\be no possible difference of opinion on that subject," 
 said a knight of Alcantara. " The piece is full of strokes which 
 Apollo himself might have aimed, and of perplexities contrived 
 so that none but the author himself could have unravelled them. 
 I appeal to that acute and ingenious stranger," added he, addressing 
 the Castilian gentleman; "he looks to me like a good judge, and 
 I will lay a wager that he is on my side of the question." "Take 
 care how you stake on an uncertainty, my worthy knight," replied 
 the gentleman, with a sarcastic smile. "I am not of your provin- 
 cial school ; we do not pass our judgment so hastily at Madrid. Far 
 from sentencing a piece on its first representation, we are jealous of 
 its apparent merit while aided by scenic deception ; our fancies and 
 our feelings may be carried away for the moment, but our serious 
 decision is suspended till we have read the work ; and the most 
 common result of its appeal to the press is a defalcation from its 
 powers of pleasing on the stage. 
 
 "Thus you perceive," pursued he, "that it is our practice to 
 examine a work of genius closely before we stamp on it the mark of 
 a stock piece ; its author's fame, let it ring as loudly as it may, can 
 never confound our exactness of discrimination. When Lope de 
 Vega himself or Calderon ventured on the boards, they encoun- 
 tered rigid critics, though in an audience which doted on them 
 critics who would not sign their passport to the regions of immor- 
 tality till they had sifted their claims to be admitted there." 
 
 " That is a little too much," interrupted the knight of St. James. 
 " We are not quite so cautious as you. It is not our custom to wait 
 for the printing of a piece in order to decide on its reputation. By 
 the very first performance it sinks or swims. It does not even 
 seem necessary to be inconveniently attentive to the business of the 
 stage. It is sufficient that we know it for a production of Don 
 Gabriel, to be persuaded that it combines every excellence. The 
 works of that poet may justly be considered as commencing a new 
 era, and fixing the criterion of good taste. The school of Lope and 
 Calderon was the mere cart of Thespis, compared with the polished 
 scenes of this great dramatic master." The gentleman who looked 
 up to Lope and Calderon as the Sophocles and Euripides of the 
 Spaniards could not easily be brought to acknowledge such wild 
 canons of criticism. " This is a dramatic heresy with a vengeance !" 
 exclaimed he. " Since you compel me, gentlemen, to decide like
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 533 
 
 you on the fallacious evidence of a first night, I must tell you that 
 I am not at all satisfied with this new tragedy of your Don Gabriel. 
 As a poem, it abounds more with glittering conceits than with pas- 
 sages of pathos or delineations of nature. The verses, three out of 
 four, are defective either in measure or rhyme; the characters 
 clumsily imagined or incongruously supported; and the thoughts 
 have often the obscurity of a riddlej without its ingenuity." 
 
 The two authors at table, who, with a prudence equally com- 
 mendable and unusual, had said nothing, for fear of lying under 
 the imputation of jealousy, could not help assenting to the last 
 speaker's opinions, by their looks, which warranted me in conclud- 
 ing that their silence was less owing to the perfection of the work 
 than to the dictates of personal policy. As for the military critics, 
 they got to their old topic of ringing the changes on Don Gabriel, 
 and exalted him to a level with the under tenants of Olympus. This 
 extravagant association with the demigods, this blind and stiff- 
 necked idolatry, divorced the Castilian from his little stock of 
 patience, so that, raising his hands to heaven, he broke out abruptly 
 into a volley of enthusiasm : " O divine Lope de Vega, sublime and 
 unrivalled genius, who hast left an immeasurable space between 
 thee and all the Gabriels who would light their tapers from thy 
 bright effulgence! and thou, mellow, soft-voiced Calderon, whose 
 elegance and sweetness, rejecting buskined rant and tragic swell, 
 reign with undisputed sway over the affections, fear not, either of 
 you, lest your altars should be overturned by this tongue-tied 
 nursling of the muses 1 It will be the utmost of his renown if pos- 
 terity, before whose eyes your works shall live in daily view, and 
 form their dear delight, shall enroll his name, as matter of history 
 and curious record, on the list of obsolete authors." 
 
 This animated apostrophe, for which the company was not at 
 all prepared, raised a hearty laugh, after which we all rose from 
 table and withdrew. An apartment had been got ready for me by 
 Don Alphonso's order, where I found a good bed ; and my lordship, 
 lying down in luxurious weariness, went to sleep upon the tag of 
 the Castilian gentleman's impassioned vindication, and dreamed 
 most crustily of the injustice done to Lope and Calderon by igno- 
 rant pretenders.
 
 634 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 GIL BLAS, WALKING ABOUT THE STREETS OF VALENCIA, MEETS WITH A 
 MAN OF SANCTITY, WHOM HE THINKS HE KNOWS. 
 
 ^VTOT having been able to complete ray view of the city on the 
 i\l preceding day, I got up betimes in the morning with the in- 
 tention of taking another walk. In the street I remarked a Car- 
 thusian friar, who doubtless was thus early in motion to promote the 
 interests of his order. He walked with his eyes fixed on the ground, 
 and a gait so holy and contemplative as to inspire every passenger 
 with religious awe. His path was in the same direction as mine. I 
 looked at him with more than ordinary curiosity, and could not help 
 fancying it was Don Raphael, that man of shifts and expedients, 
 who has already secured so honorable a niche in the temple 6f 
 fame. 
 
 I was so utterly astonished, so thrown off my balance by this 
 meeting, that, instead of accosting the monk, I remained motionless 
 for some seconds, which gave him time to get the start of me. " Just 
 Heaven 1" said I, "were there ever two faces more exactly alike? I 
 do not know what to make of it ! It seems incredible that Raphael 
 should turn up in such a guise ! And yet how is it possible to be 
 any one else ?" I felt too great a curiosity to get at the truth not to 
 pursue the inquiry. Having ascertained the way to the monastery 
 of the Carthusians, I repaired thither immediately, in the hope of 
 coming across the object of my search on his return, aud with the 
 full intent of stopping and^parleying with him. But it was quite 
 unnecessary to wait for his arrival to enlighten my mind on the 
 subject ; on reaching the convent gate, another physiognomy, such 
 as few persons had read without paying for their lesson, resolved 
 all my doubts into certainty ; for the friar who served in the capacity 
 of porter was unquestionably my old and godly-visaged servant, 
 Ambrose de Lamela. 
 
 Our surprise was equal on both sides at meeting again in such a 
 place. "Is not this a play upon the senses?" said I, paying my 
 compliments to him. " Is it actually one of my friends who presents 
 himself to my astonished sight?" He did not know me again at 
 first, or probably might pretend not to do so ; but, reflecting within 
 himself that it was in vain to deny his own identity, he assumed the 
 start of a man who all at once hits upon a circumstance which had 
 hitherto escaped his recollection. " Ah, Signor Gil Bias," exclaimed 
 he, " excuse my not recognizing your person immediately. Since I 
 have lived in this holy place, every faculty of my soul has been ab-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 535 
 
 sorbed in the performance of the duties prescribed by our rules, so 
 that by degrees I lose the remembrance of all worldly objects and 
 events." 
 
 " After a separation of ten years," said I, " it gives me much pleas- 
 ure to find you again in so venerable a garb." " For my part," 
 answered he, " it fills me with shame and confusion to appear in it 
 before a man who has been an eye-witness of my guilty courses. 
 These ghostly weeds are at once the charm of my present life and 
 the condemnation of my former. Alas !'' added he, heaving a right- 
 eous sigh, " to be worthy of wearing it, my earlier years should have 
 been passed in primitive innocence." " By this discourse, so rational 
 and edifying," replied I, " it is plain, my dear brother, that the finger 
 of the Lord has been upon you, that you are marked out for a vessel 
 of sanctification. I tell you once again, I am delighted at it, and 
 would give the world to know in what miraculous manner you and 
 Raphael were led into the path of righteousness ; for I am persuaded 
 that it was his own self whom I met in the town, habited as a Car- 
 thusian. I was extremely sorry, afterwards, not to have stopped 
 and spoken to him in the street, and I am waiting here to apologize 
 for my neglect on his return." 
 
 "You were not mistaken," said Lamela; "it was Don Raphael 
 himself whom you saw ; and as for the particulars of our conversion, 
 they are as follows : After parting with you near Segorba, we struck 
 into the Valencia road, with the design of bettering our trade by 
 some new speculation. Chance or destiny one day led our steps into 
 the church of the Carthusians, while service was performing in the 
 choir. The demeanor of the brethren attracted our notice, and we 
 experienced in our own persons the involuntary homage which vice 
 pays to virtue. We admired the fervor with which they poured 
 forth their devotions, their looks of pious mortification, their dead- 
 ness to the pleasures of the world and the flesh, and in the settled 
 composure of their countenances, the outward sign of an approving 
 conscience within. 
 
 "While making these observations, we fell into a train of thought 
 which became like manna to the hungry and thirsty soul ; we com- 
 pared our habits of life with the employments of these holy men, 
 and the wide difference between our spiritual conditions filled us 
 with confusion and affright. 'Lamela,' said Don Raphael, as we 
 went out of the church, ' how do you stand affected by what we have 
 just seen ? For my part, there is no disguising the trutli ; my mind 
 is ill at ease. Emotions new and indescribable are rushing upon 
 my mind ; and, for the first time in my life, I reproach myself with 
 the wickedness of my past actions.' ' I am just in the same temper of 
 soul,' answered I ; 'my iniquities are all drawn up in array against
 
 536 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 me; they beset me, they stare me in the face; my heart, hitherto 
 proof against all the arrows of remorse, is at this moment shot 
 through and through, torn and disfigured, tormented and destroyed.' 
 ' Ah I my dear Ambrose,' resumed my partner, ' we are two stray 
 sheep, whom our heavenly Father, in mercy, would lead back gently 
 to the fold. It is he himself, my child, it is he who warns and 
 guides us. Let us not be deaf to the call of his voice ; let us abandon 
 all our wicked courses ; let us begin from this day to work out our 
 salvation with diligence and in the spirit of repentance: we had 
 better spend the remainder of our days in this convent, and conse- 
 crate them to penitence and devotion.' 
 
 " I applauded Raphael's sentiment," continued brother Ambrose, 
 " and we formed the glorious resolution of becoming Carthusians. 
 To carry it into effect, we applied to the venerable prior, who was 
 no sooner made acquainted with our purpose, than, to ascertain 
 whether our call was from the world above or the world beneath, he 
 appointed us to cells, and all the strictness of monkish discipline, 
 for a whole year. We acted up to the rules with equal regularity 
 and fortitude, and, by way of reward, were admitted among the 
 novices. Our condition was so much what we wished it, and our 
 hearts were so full of religious zeal, that we underwent the toils of 
 our novitiate with unflinching courage. When that was over, we 
 professed; after which, Don Raphael, appearing admirably well 
 qualified, both by natural talent and various experience, for the 
 management of secular concerns, was chosen assistant to an old friar 
 who was at that time proctor. The son of Lucinda would infinitely 
 have preferred dedicating every remaining moment of his existence 
 to prayer ; but he found it necessary to sacrifice his taste for devo- 
 tion, in furtherance of the general prosperity. He entered with so 
 much zeal and knowledge into the interests of the house, that he 
 was considered as the most eligible person to succeed the old proc- 
 tor, who died three years afterwards. Don Eaphael accordingly fills 
 that office at present ; and it may be truly said that he discharges 
 his duty to the entire satisfaction of all our fathers, who praise in 
 the highest terms his conduct in the administration of our tempor- 
 alities. What is most of all miraculous, and shows the hand of 
 Heaven in his conversion, is that, with such an accumulation of 
 business rushing in upon him in his bursarial department, his re- 
 gards are inalienably fixed on the world to come. When business 
 leaves him but a moment to recruit nature, instead of lavishing the 
 *hort period in indulgence, his thoughts wing their way into the 
 regions of devout and holy meditation. In short, he is the most 
 exemplary member of this body." 
 
 At this period of our conversation I interrupted Lamela by an
 
 ADVENTUEES OF GIL BLAS. 537 
 
 ebullition of joy to which I gave vent at the sight of Raphael coming 
 in. " Here he is I" exclaimed I ; " behold that righteous bursar for 
 whom I have been so patiently waiting." With a leap and a bound 
 did I run to meet and embrace him. He submitted to the hug with 
 his newly-acquired resignation ; and, without betraying the slightest 
 shock at meeting with an old companion of his profaner hours, hia 
 words were dictated by the spirit of gentleness and humility : " The 
 powers above be praised, Signor de Santillane, the powers be 
 praised for this kind providence whereby we meet again." " In good 
 truth, my dear Raphael," replied I, "your happy destiny pleases 
 me as much as if it had been my own good luck ; brother Ambrose 
 has told me the whole story of your conversion, and the tale almost 
 moved me to a similar change. What a glorious lot for you two, my 
 friends, when you have reason to natter yourselves with being among 
 that picked number of the elect who have eternal happiness thrust 
 upon them whether they will or no 1" 
 
 " Two miserable sinners like ourselves," resumed the son of Lu- 
 cinda, with an air which marked the extreme of sanctified morality, 
 " must not hope that our own merits are of weight enough to save 
 our souls ; but even the wicked one who repenteth findeth grace 
 with the Father of mercies. And you, Signor Gil Bias," added he, 
 " is it not time to lay in a claim for pardon of the offences which 
 you have committed ? What is your business here in Valencia ? 
 Are you not hankering after some office of devil's deputy, and 
 making shipwreck of your voyage to another world ?" " Not so, by 
 the blessing of Heaven," answered I ; " since I turned my back on 
 the court, I have led a very moral sort of life sometimes enjoy- 
 ing rural recreations on an estate of mine at a few leagues' distance 
 from this town, and sometimes coming hither to pass my time 
 with my friend the governor, whom you must both know perfectly 
 well." 
 
 On this cue I related to them the story of Don Alphonso de 
 Leyva. They heard the particulars with attention ; and on my 
 telling them that I had carried to Samuel Simon, on the part of 
 that nobleman, the three thousand ducats of which we had robbed 
 him, Lamela interrupted the thread of my narrative, and addressing 
 his discourse to Raphael, said, " Father Hilary, if this be true, the 
 honest vender of wares has no reason to quarrel with a robbery 
 which has paid him fifty per cent. ; and our consciences, as far as 
 that indictment goes, may bask in the sunshine of acquitted inno- 
 cence." " Brother Ambrose and I," said the bursar, "did actually, 
 on the assumption of the habit, send Samuel Simon fifteen hundred 
 ducats privately, by a pious ecclesiastic who made a pilgrimage to 
 Xelva for the sole purpose of accomplishing this restitution ; but it
 
 538 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 will go hard with Samuel at the general reckoning, if he for filthy 
 lucre could soil his fingers with that sum, after having been reim- 
 bursed in full by Signor de Santillane." "But," said I, "how do 
 you know that your fifteen hundred ducats were faithfully paid into 
 his hands?" "Unquestionably they were!" exclaimed Don Ra- 
 phael; "I would answer for the disinterested purity of that ecclesi- 
 astic as soon as for my own." "I would be your collateral security," 
 said Lamela ; " he is a priest of the strictest sanctity, a sort of 
 universal almoner ; and though many times cited for sums of money 
 deposited with him for charitable uses, he has always nonsuited the 
 plain tiffs, and gone out of court with an augmentation of alms- 
 giving notoriety." 
 
 Our conversation continued for some time longer : at length we 
 parted, with many a pious exhortation on their side always to have 
 the fear of the Lord before my eyes, and with many an earnest 
 entreaty on mine that they would remember me constantly in their 
 prayers. Don Alphonso was now the first object of my search. 
 " You will never guess," said I, " with whom I have just had a long 
 conference. I am but now come from two venerable Carthusians of 
 your acquaintance ; the name of the one is Father Hilary, that of 
 the other, brother Ambrose." " You are mistaken," answered Don 
 Alphonso ; " I am not acquainted with a single Carthusian." " Par- 
 don me," replied I ; " you have seen brother Ambrose at Xelva in 
 the capacity of commissary, and Father Hilary as register to the 
 Inquisition." "Oh, heavens !" exclaimed the governor with sur- 
 prise, " can it be within the bounds of possibility that Eaphael and 
 Lamela should have turned Carthusians ?" " It is even so," an- 
 swered I ; " they professed several years ago. The former is bursar 
 and proctor to the convent, the latter, porter." 
 
 The son of Don Csesar rubbed his forehead twice or thrice, then 
 shaking his head, " These worshipful officers of the Inquisition," 
 said he, " most assuredly purpose playing over the old farce on a 
 new stage here." " You judge of them by prejudice," answered I, 
 " from the impression of their characters as men of sin : but had 
 you been edified by their lectures as I have been, you would think 
 more favorably of their holiness. To be sure, it is not for mortal 
 men to fathom the depth of other men's hearts ; but to all appear- 
 ance they are two prodigals returned home." " It possibly may be 
 BO," replied Don Alphonso : " there are many instances of libertines, 
 who hide their heads in cloisters, after having scandalized human 
 nature by their obliquities, expiating their offences by a severe 
 penance. I heartily wish that our two monks may be such libertines 
 restored." 
 
 "Well ! and why not?" said I. "They have embraced the mon-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 539 
 
 astic life of their own accord, and have squared their conduct for a 
 length of time according to the maxims of their order." " You may 
 say what you please," retorted the governor ; " but I do not like the 
 convent's rents being received by this Father Hilary, of whom I 
 cannot help entertaining a very untoward opinion. When the fine 
 story he told us of his adventures comes across my mind, I tremble 
 for the reverend brotherhood. I am willing to believe with you, 
 that he has taken the vow with the pious intention of keeping it; 
 but the blaze of gold may be too much for the weakness of his re- 
 generated eyesight. It is bad policy to lock up a reformed drunkard 
 in a wine cellar." 
 
 In the course of a few days Don Alphonso's misgivings were fully 
 justified; these two official props and stays of the establishment 
 ran away with the year's revenue. This news, which was immedi- 
 ately noised about the town, could not do otherwise than set the 
 tongues of the wits in motion ; for they always make themselves 
 merry, at the crosses and losses of the well-endowed religious orders, 
 As for the governor and myself, we condoled with the Carthusians, 
 but kept our acquaintance with the apostate pilferers in the back- 
 ground. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 GIL BLAS RETURNS TO HIS SEAT AT LIRIAS. SCIPIO'S AGREEABLE IN- 
 TELLIGENCE. REFORM IN THE DOMESTIC ARRANGEMENTS. 
 
 I PASSED a week at Valencia in the first company, living on 
 equal terms with the best of the nobility. Plays, balls, con- 
 certs, grand dinners, ladies' parties, all things that heart could wish 
 or vanity grow tall upon, were provided for me by the governor and 
 his lady, to whom I paid my court so dexterously, that they were 
 heartily sorry to see me set out on my return to Lirias. They even 
 obliged me, before they would let me go, to engage for a division of 
 time between them and my hermitage. It was determined that I 
 should spend the winter in Valencia, and the summer at my seat. 
 After this bargain, my benefactors left me at liberty to tear myself 
 from them, and go where their kindness would be always staring 
 me in the face. 
 
 Scipio, who was waiting impatiently for my return, was ready to 
 jump out of his skin for joy at the sight of me; and his ecstasies 
 were doubled at my circumstantial account of the journey. "And
 
 540 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 now for your history, my friend," said I, taking breath : " to what 
 moral uses have you turned the solitary period of my absence? Has 
 the time passed agreeably ?" " As well," answered he, " as it could 
 with a servant to whom nothing is so dear as the presence of his 
 master. I have walked over our little domain, circuitously and 
 diagonally : sometimes, seated on the margin of a fountain in our 
 wood, I have taken pleasure in beholding the transparency of its 
 waters, which are as pellucid as those of the sacred spring, whose 
 projection from the rock made the vast forest of Albunea to resound 
 with the roar of the cascade : sometimes, lying at the foot of a tree, 
 I have listened to the song of the linnet or the nightingale. At 
 other times I have hunted or fished ; and, what has given me more 
 rational delight than all these pastimes, I have whiled away many 
 a profitable hour in the improvement of my mind." 
 
 I interrupted my secretary in a tone of eager inquiry, to ask where 
 he had procured books. "I found them," said he, "in an elegant 
 library here in the house, whither Master Joachim took t me." 
 "Heyday! in what corner," resumed I, "can this said library be? 
 Did we not go over the. whole building on the day of our arrival?" 
 " You fancied so," rejoined he ; " but you are to know that we only 
 explored three sides of the square, and forgot the fourth. It was 
 there that Don Csesar, when he came to Lirias, employed part of 
 his time in reading. There are in this library some very good books, 
 left as a never-failing phylactery against the blue devils, when our 
 gardens, despoiled of Flora's treasure, and our woods of their leafy 
 honors, shall no longer challenge those miscreant invaders to com- 
 bat in the forest or the bower. The lords of Leyva have not done 
 things by halves, but have catered for the mind as well as for the 
 body." 
 
 This intelligence filled me with sincere rapture. I was shown to 
 the fourth side of the square, and feasted with an intellectual ban- 
 quet. Don Caesar's room I immediately determined to make my 
 own. That nobleman's bed was still there, with correspondent fur- 
 niture, consisting of historical tapestry, representing the rape of the 
 Sabine women by the Romans. From the bedchamber I went into 
 a closet fitted up with low bookcases, well filled, and over them the 
 portraits of the Spanish kings. Near a window which commanded 
 a prospect of a most bewitching country, there was an ebony 
 writing-desk and a large sofa, covered with black morocco. But I 
 gave my attention principally to the library. It was composed of 
 philosophers, poets, historians, and abounded in romances. Don 
 Csesar seemed to give the preference to that light reading, if one 
 might judge by the profusion of supply. I must own, to my shame, 
 that my taste was not at all above the level of those productions,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 541 
 
 notwithstanding the extravagances they delight in stringing to- 
 gether ; whether it was owing to my not being a very critical reader 
 at that time, or because the Spaniards are naturally addicted to the 
 marvellous. I must nevertheless plead, in my own justification, that 
 I was alive to the charms of a sprightly and popular morality, and 
 that Lucian, Horace, and Erasmus became my favorite and stand- 
 ard authors. 
 
 " My friend," said I to Scipio, when my eyes had coursed over 
 my library, " here is wherewithal to feed and pamper our minds ; 
 but our present business is to reform our household." " On that 
 subject I can spare you a great deal of trouble," answered he. 
 " During your absence I have sifted your people thoroughly, and 
 flatter myself it is no empty boast to say that I know them. Let us 
 begin with Master Joachim : I take him to be as great a scoundrel as 
 ever breathed, and have no doubt but he was turned away from the 
 archbishop's for errors which were too great to be excepted in the 
 passing of his accounts. Yet we must keep him for two reasons : 
 the first, because he is a good cook ; and the second, because I shall 
 always have an eye over him ; I shall peep into his actions like a 
 jackdaw into a marrowbone, and he must be a more cunning fellow 
 than I take him for to evade my vigilance. I have already told him 
 that you intended discharging three-fourths of your establishment. 
 This declaration stuck in his stomach ; and he assured me that, owing 
 to his extreme desire of living with you, he would be satisfied with 
 half his present wages rather than be turned off, which made me 
 suspect that he was tied to the string of some petticoat in the ham- 
 let, and did not like to break up his Quarters. As for the under- 
 cook, he is a drunkard, and the porter a foul-mouthed Cerberus, of 
 whose guardianship our gates are in no want ; neither is the game- 
 keeper a necessary evil. I shall take the latter office myself, as you 
 may see to-morrow, when we have got our fowling-pieces in order, 
 and are provided with powder and shot. With regard to the foot- 
 men, one of them is an Arragonese, and to my mind a very good 
 sort of fellow. We will keep him ; but all the rest are such rapscal- 
 lions that I would not advise you to harbor one of them, if you 
 wanted an army of attendants." 
 
 After having fully debated the point, we resolved to keep well 
 with the cook, the scullion, the Arragonese, and to get rid of the re- 
 mainder as decently as we could ; all which was planned and exe- 
 cuted on the same day, mollifying the bitter dose by the application 
 of a few pistoles, which Scipio took from our strong box, and dis- 
 tributed among them as from me. When we had carried this reform 
 into effect, order was soon established in our mansion ; we divided the 
 business fairly among our remaining people, and began to look into
 
 542 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 our expenses. I could willingly have been contented with very 
 frugal commons ; but my secretary, loving high dishes and relishing 
 bits, was not a man who would suffer Master Joachim to hold his 
 place as a sinecure. He kept his talents in such constant play, 
 working double tides at dinner and at supper, that any one would 
 have thought we had been converted by Father Hilary, and were 
 working out the term of our probation. 
 
 CHAPTEE VIII. 
 
 THE LOVES OF GIL BLAS AND THE FAIR ANTONIA. 
 
 TWO days after my return from Valencia to Lirias, clodpole 
 Basil, my farming man, came at my dressing-time to beg the 
 favor of introducing his daughter Antonia, who was very desirous, 
 as he said, to have the honor of paying her respects to her new mas- 
 ter. I answered that it was very proper, and would be well received. 
 He withdrew, and in a few minutes returned with his peerless An- 
 tonia. That epithet, though bold, will not be thought extravagant 
 in the case of a girl from sixteen to eighteen years of age, uniting to 
 regular features the finest complexion and the brightest eyes in the 
 world. She was dressed in nothing better than a stuff gown ; but a 
 stature somewhat above the female standard, a dignified deportment, 
 and such graces as soared higher than the mere freshness and glow 
 of youth, communicated to her rustic attire the simplicity of classi- 
 cal costume. She had no cap on her head ; her hair was fastened 
 behind with a knot of flowers, according to the chaste severity of the 
 Spartan fashionables. 
 
 When she illumined my chamber with her presence, I was struck 
 as much on a heap by her beauty as ever were the princes, knights, 
 nobles, and strangers, assembled at the solemn feast and tournament 
 of Charlemain, by the personal charms of Angelica. Instead of re- 
 ceiving Antonia with modish indifference, and paying her compli- 
 ments of course, instead of ringing the changes on her father's 
 happiness in possessing so lovely a daughter, I stood stock still, 
 staring, gaping, stammering: I could not have uttered an articulate 
 sound for the universal world. Scipio, who saw clearly what was 
 the matter with me, took the words out of my mouth, and accepted 
 those bills of admiration which my affairs were in too much disorder 
 to admit of my duly honoring. For her part, my figure being
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 545 
 
 shrouded by a dressing-gown and nightcap, like the orb of day by a 
 winter fog, she accosted me without being shamefaced, and paid her 
 duty in terms which fired all the combustibles in my composition, 
 though her words were but the holiday expressions of commonplace 
 salutation. In the meantime, while my secretary, Basil, and his 
 daughter, were engaged in reciprocal exchange of civility, I found 
 my senses again ; and passed from one extreme of absurdity to an- 
 other, just as if I had thought that a hare-brained loquacity would 
 be a set-off against the idiotic silence of my first encounter. I ex- 
 hausted all my stock of well-bred rodomontade, and expressed myself 
 with so unguarded a freedom as to make Basil look about him ; so 
 that he, with his eye upon me as a man who would set every engine 
 at work to seduce Antonia, was in a hurry to get her safely out of 
 my apartment, with a resolved purpose, probably; of withdrawing 
 her forever from my pursuit. 
 
 Scipio, finding himself alone with me, said with a smile, " Here 
 is another defence for you against the blue devils 1 I did not know 
 that your farming man had so pretty a daughter ; for I had never 
 seen her before, though I have been twice at his house. He must 
 have taken infinite pains to keep her out of the way, and it is 
 impossible to be angry at him for it. What the plague! here is a 
 morsel for a lickerish palate I But there seems to be no necessity 
 for blazoning her perfections to you ; their very first glance dazzled 
 you out of countenance." " I do not deny it," answered I. " Ah, 
 my beloved friend, I have surely seen an inhabitant of the realms 
 above ; the electrical spark now thrills through all my frame ; it 
 scorches like lightning, yet tingles like the vivifying fluid at my 
 heart." 
 
 "You delight me beyond measure," replied my secretary, "by 
 giving me to understand that you have at length fallen in love. 
 Nothing but a mistress was wanting to complete your rural estab- 
 lishment at all points. Thanks to Heaven, you are now likely to 
 be accommodated in every way. I am well aware that we shall 
 have a hard matter to elude Basil's vigilance ; but leave that to me, 
 and I will undertake before the end of three days to manage a pri- 
 vate meeting for you with Antonia." " Master Scipio," said I, " it 
 is not so sure that you will be able to keep your word ; but, at all 
 events, I have not the least desire to make the experiment. I will 
 have nothing to do with the ruin of that girl, for she is an angel, and 
 does not deserve to be numbered among the fallen ones. Therefore, 
 instead of laying the guilt upon your soul of assisting me in her 
 dishonor, I have made up my mind to marry her, with your kind 
 help, supposing her heart not to be preoccupied by a prior attach- 
 ment." " I had no idea," said he, " of your directly plunging head-
 
 544 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 long into the cold bath of matrimony. The generality of landlords 
 in your place would stand upon the ancient tenure of manorial 
 rights ; they would not deal with Antonia upon the square of 
 modern law and gospel, till after failure in the establishment of 
 their feudal privileges. But though this may be the way of the 
 world, do not suppose that I am by any means against your honor- 
 able passion, or at all wish to dissuade you from your purpose. 
 Your bailiff's daughter deserves the distinction you design for her, 
 if she can give you the first fruits of her heart, an offering of sensi- 
 bility and gratitude ; that is what I shall ascertain this very day, by 
 talking with her father, and possibly with her." 
 
 My agent was a man to transact his business according to the 
 letter. He went to see Basil privately, and in the evening came to 
 me in my closet, where I waited for him with impatience, somewhat 
 exasperated by apprehension. There was a slyness in his counte- 
 nance, whence my prognostic inclined to the brighter side. "Judg- 
 ing," said I, " by that look of suppressed merriment, you are come 
 to acquaint me that I shall soon be at the summit of human bliss." 
 "Yes, my dear master," answered he; "the heavens smile upon 
 your vows. I have talked the matter over with Basil and his 
 daughter, declaring your intentions without reserve. The father is 
 delighted at the idea of your asking his blessing as a son-in-law ; 
 and you may set your heart at rest about Antonia's taste in a hus- 
 band." " Darts and flames !" cried I, in an ecstasy of amorous 
 transport. "What! am I so happy as to have made myself agree- 
 able to that lovely creature ?" " Never question it," replied he ; 
 " she loves you already. It is true she has not owned so much by 
 word of mouth; but my assurance rests on the tale-telling sparkle 
 of her eye when your proposals were made known to her. And yet 
 you have a rival." " A rival !" exclaimed I, with a faltering voice 
 and a cheek blanched with fear. " Do not let that give you the 
 least uneasiness," said he ; " your competitor cannot bid very high, 
 for he is no other than Master Joachim, your cook." " Ah 1 the 
 hangdog 1" said I, with an involuntary shout of laughter; "this is 
 the reason, then, why he had so great an objection to being turned 
 out of my service." "Exactly so," answered Scipio; "within these 
 few days he made proposals of marriage to Antonia, who politely 
 declined them." " With submission to your better judgment," re- 
 plied I, " it would be expedient at least so it strikes me to get rid 
 of that strange fellow before he is informed of my intended match 
 with Basil's daughter ; a cook, as you are aware, is a dangerous 
 rival." " You are perfectly in the right," rejoined my trusty coun- 
 sellor ; " we must clear the premises of him, he shall receive his 
 discharge from me to-morrow morning, before he puts a finger in
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 546 
 
 the fricandeaus ; thus you will have nothing more to fear either 
 from his poisonous sauces or bewitching tongue. Yet it goes 
 rather against the grain with me to part with so good a cook ; but I 
 sacrifice the interests of my own belly to the preservation of your 
 precious person." "You need not," said I, "take on so for his 
 loss ; he had no exclusive patent ; and I will send to Valencia for a 
 cook who shall outcook all his fine cookery." According to my pro- 
 mise, I wrote immediately to Don Alphonso, to let him know that 
 our kitchen wanted a prime minister, and on the following day he 
 filled up the vacancy in so worthy a manner as reconciled Scipio at 
 once to the change in culinary politics. 
 
 Though my adroit and active secretary had assured me of An- 
 tonia's secret self-congratulation on the conquest of her landlord's 
 heart, I could not venture to rely solely on his report. I was fearful 
 lest he should have been entrapped by false appearances. To be 
 more certain of my bliss, I determined on speaking in person to the 
 fair Antonia. I therefore went to Basil's house, and confirmed to 
 him what my ambassador had announced. This honest peasant, of 
 patriarchal simplicity and golden-aged frankness, after having heard 
 me through, did not hesitate to own that it would be the greatest 
 happiness of his life to give me his daughter ; " but," added he, 
 " you are by no means to suppose that it is because you are lord of 
 the manor. Were you still steward to Don Caesar and Don Al- 
 phonso, I should prefer you to all other suitors who might apply : I 
 have always felt a sort of kindness towards you ; and nothing vexes 
 me but that Antonia has not a thumping fortune to bring with her." 
 " I want not the vile dross," said I ; " her person is the only dowry 
 that I covet." " Your humble servant for that," cried he ; " but you 
 will not settle accounts with me after that fashion ; I am not a beg- 
 gar, to marry my daughter upon charity. Basil de Buenotrigo is in 
 circumstances, by the blessing of Providence, to portion her off de- 
 cently ; and I mean that she should set out a little supper, if you 
 are to be at the expense of dinners. In a word, the rental of this 
 estate is only five hundred ducats: I shall raise it to a thousand, 
 on the strength of this marriage." 
 
 "Just as you please, my dear Basil," replied I ; "we are not likely 
 to have any dispute about money matters. We are both of a mind ; 
 all that remains is to get your daughter's consent." " You have 
 mine," said he, " and that is enough." " Not altogether so," an- 
 swered I ; " though yours may be absolutely necessary, no business 
 can be done without hers." " Hers follows mine of course," replied 
 he; "I should like to catch her murmuring against my sovereign 
 commands!" "Antonia," rejoined I, "with dutiful submission to 
 paternal authority, is ready, without question, to obey your will 
 35
 
 546 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 implicitly in all things ; but I know not whether in the present in- 
 stance she would do so without violence to her own feelings ; and, 
 should that be the case, I could never forgive myself for being .the 
 occasion of unhappiness to her ; in short, it is not enough that I 
 obtain her hand from you, if her heart is to heave a sigh at the 
 decision of her destiny." " 0, blessed virgin 1" said Basil ; " all 
 these fine doctrines of philosophy are far above my reach ; speak to 
 Antonia your own self, and you will find, or I am very much mis- 
 taken, that she wishes for nothing better than to be your wife." 
 These words were no sooner out of his mouth, than he called his 
 daughter, and left me with her for a few short minutes. 
 
 Not to trifle with so precious an opportunity, I broke my mind to 
 her at once. " Lovely Antonia," said I, " it remains with you to fix 
 the color of my future days. Though I have your father's consent, 
 do not think so meanly of me as to suppose that I would avail my- 
 self of it to violate the sacred freedom of your choice. Kapturous 
 as must be the possession of your charms, I waive my pretensions if 
 you but tell me that your duty, and not your will, complies." " It 
 would be affectation to put on such a repugnance," answered she ; 
 " the honor of your addresses is too flattering to excite any other 
 than agreeable sensations, and I am thankful for my father's tender 
 care of me, instead of demurring to his will. I am not sure whether 
 such an acknowledgment may not be contrary to the rules of female 
 reserve in the polite world ; but if you were disagreeable to me, I 
 should be plain-spoken enough to tell you so ; why, then, should I 
 not be equally free in owning the kind feelings of my heart?" 
 
 At sounds like these, which I could not hear without being enrap- 
 tured, I dropped on my knees before Antonia, and in the excess of 
 my tender emotions, taking one of her fair hands, kissed it with an 
 affectionate and impassioned action. " My dear Antonia," said I, 
 " your frankness enchants me : go on ; let nothing induce you to 
 depart from it ; you are conversing with your future husband ; let 
 your soul expand itself, and reveal all its inmost emotions in his 
 presence. Thus, then, may I entertain the flattering hope that you 
 will not frown on the union of our destinies !" The coming in of 
 Basil at this moment prevented me from giving further vent to the 
 delightful sensations which thrilled through me. Impatient to know 
 how his daughter had behaved, and ready primed for scolding in 
 case she had been perverse or coy, he made up to me immediately. 
 " Well, now," said he, " are you satisfied with Antonia ?" " So much 
 so," answered I, " that I am going this very moment to set forward 
 the preparations for our marriage." So saying, I left the father 
 and daughter, for the purpose of taking counsel with my secretary 
 thereupon.
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 547 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 NTTPTIALS OF GIL BLAS WITH THE FAIR ANTONIA : THE STYLE AND 
 MANNER OF THE CEREMONY. 
 
 f" I CHOUGH there was no occasion to consult with the lords of 
 _L Leyva about my marriage, yet Scipio and myself were of opinion 
 that I could not 'decently do otherwise than communicate to them 
 my purpose of connecting myself with Basil's daughter, and just 
 pay them the compliment of asking their advice, after the act was 
 finally determined on. 
 
 I immediately went off to Valencia, where my visit was a matter 
 of surprise, and still more the purport of it. Don Caesar and Don 
 Alphonso, who were acquainted with Antonia, having seen her more 
 than once, wished me joy on my good fortune in a wife. Don 
 Caesar, in particular, made his speech upon the occasion with so 
 much youthful fire, that if there had not been reason to suppose his 
 lordship weaned, by that icy moralist, time, from certain naughty 
 propensities, I should have suspected him of going to Lirias now 
 and then, not so much to look after his concerns there, as after his 
 little empress of the dairy. Seraphina, too, with the kindest assur- 
 ances of a lively interest in whatever might befall me, said that she 
 had heard a very favorable character of Antonia; "but," added 
 she, with a malicious fling, as if to taunt me with my supercilious 
 reception of Sephora's amorous advances, " even though her beauty 
 had not been so much the talk of the country, I could have de- 
 pended on your taste, from former experience of its delicacy and 
 fastidiousness." 
 
 Don Caesar and his son did not stop at cold approbation of my 
 marriage, but declared that they would defray all the expenses of it. 
 " Measure back your steps," said they, " to Lirias, and stay quietly 
 there till you hear further from us. Make no preparation for your 
 nuptials, for we shall make that our concern." To meet their kind 
 intentions with becoming gratitude, I returned to my mansion, and 
 acquainted Basil and his daughter with the projected kindness of 
 our patrons. We determined to wait their pleasure with as much 
 patience as falls to the lot of poor human nature under such cir- 
 cumstances. Eight long days dragged out their tedious measure, 
 and brought no tidings of our bliss. But the rewards of self-control 
 are not the less assured for being slow : on the ninth, a coach drawn 
 by four mules drove up, with a cargo of mantua-makers for the bride, 
 and an assortment of rich silks on which to exercise their art. 
 Several livery servants, mounted on mules, accompanied the caval-
 
 548 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 cade. One of them brought me a letter from Don Alphonso. That 
 nobleman sent me word that he would be at Lirias next day with 
 his father and his wife, and that the marriage ceremony should be 
 performed on the day after that, by the vicar-general of Valencia. 
 And just so it came to pass : Don Caesar, his son, and Seraphina, 
 with that venerable dignitary, were punctual to their appointment, 
 all four of them in a coach and six, none of your mules, like the 
 mantua-makers, preceded by another coach and four, with Sera- 
 phina's women ; and the rear was brought up by -a. company of the 
 governor's guards. 
 
 The governor's lady had hardly entered the house before she tes- 
 tified an ardent longing to see Antonia, who, on her part, no sooner 
 knew that Seraphina was arrived, than she ran forward to bid her 
 welcome, with a respectful kiss upon her hand, so gracefully and 
 modestly impressed, that all the company were enchanted at the 
 action. " And now, madam," said Don Caesar to his daughter-in- 
 law, " what do you think of Antonia? Could Santillane have made 
 a better choice ?" " No," answered Seraphina, " they are worthy 
 each of the other ; there can be no doubt but their union will be 
 most happy." In short^ every one was lavish in the praise of my 
 intended ; and if they felt her beams so powerfully under the eclipse 
 of stuff gown, what must they not have endured from her brightness 
 in the meridian sunshine of her wedding finery ? One would have 
 fancied she had been clothed in silks, jewels, and fine linen from 
 her cradle, by the dignity of her air and the ease of her deportment. 
 
 The happy moment which was to unite two fond lovers in the 
 bands of Hymen being arrived, Don Alphonso took me by the hand 
 and led me to the altar, while Seraphina conferred the like honor 
 on the bride elect. Our procession had marched in fit and decent 
 order through the hamlet to the chapel, where the vicar-general was 
 waiting to go through the service ; and the ceremony was performed 
 amidst the heartfelt congratulations of the inhabitants, and of all 
 the wealthy farmers in the neighborhood, whom Basil had invited 
 to Antonia's wedding. Their daughters, too, came in their train, 
 tricked out in ribbons and in flowers, and dancing to the music of 
 their own tambourines. We returned to the mansion under the 
 same escort ; and there by the provident attentions of Scipio, who 
 officiated as high steward and master of the ceremonies, we found 
 three tables set out ; one for the principals of the party, another for 
 their household, and the third, which was by far the largest, for all 
 invited guests promiscuously. Antonia was at the first, the gov- 
 ernor's lady having made a point of.it; I did the honors of the 
 second ; and Basil was placed at the head of that where the country 
 people dined. As for Scipio, he never sat down, but was here, there
 
 ADVENTUEES OF GIL BLAS. 549 
 
 and everywhere, fetching and carrying, changing plates and filling 
 bumpers, urging the company to call freely for what they wanted, 
 and egging them on to mirth and jollity. 
 
 The entertainment had been prepared by the governor's cooks ; 
 and that is as much as to say that there were all the delicacies im- 
 aginable, in season or out of season. The good wines laid in for me 
 by Master Joachim were set running at a furious rate; the guests 
 were beginning to feel their jovial influence, pleasantry and repartee 
 gave a zest to conviviality, when on a sudden our harmony was in- 
 terrupted by an alarming occurrence. My secretary, being in the 
 hall where I was dining with Don Alphonso's principal officers and 
 Seraphina's women, suddenly fainted. I started up and ran to his 
 assistance ; and, while I was employed in bringing him about, one 
 of the women was taken ill also. It was evident to the whole com- 
 pany that this sympathetic malady must involve some mysterious 
 incident, as in effect it turned out, almost immediately, that thereby 
 hung a tale ; for Scipio soon recovered, and said to me in a low 
 voice, " Why must one man's meat be another man's poison, and 
 the most auspicious of your days the curse of mine ? But every 
 man bears the bundle of his sins upon his back, and my pack- 
 saddle is once more thrown across my shoulders in the person of 
 my wife." 
 
 " Powers of mercy !" exclaimed I, " this can never be ! It is all a 
 romance. What ! you the husband of that lady whose nerves were 
 so affected by the disturbance ?" " Yes, sir," answered he, " I am 
 her husband ; and fortune, if you will take the word of a sinner, 
 could not have done me a dirtier office than by conjuring up such 
 a grievance as this." " I know not, my friend," replied I, " what 
 reasons you may have for thus belaboring your rib with wordy 
 buffets ; but however she may be to blame, in mercy keep a bridle 
 on your tongue ; if you have any regard for me, do not displace the 
 mirth and spoil the pleasure of this nuptial meeting by ominous 
 disorder or enraged questions of past injuries." "You shall have 
 no reason to complain on that score," rejoined Scipio, "but shall 
 see presently whether I am not a very apt dissembler." 
 
 With this assurance he went forward to his wife, whom her com- 
 panions had also brought back to life and recollection, and, em- 
 bracing her with as much apparent fervor as if his raptures had 
 been real, "Ah, my dear Beatrice," said he, "Heaven has at length 
 united us again after ten years of cruel separation I But this blissful 
 moment is well purchased by whole ages of torturing suspense !" 
 " I know not," answered his spouse, " whether you really are at all 
 the happier for having recovered a part of yourself: but of this at 
 least I am fully certain, that you never had any reason to run away
 
 550 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. \ 
 
 from me as you did. A fine story indeed I You found me one night 
 with Signor Don Ferdinand de Leyva, who was in love with my 
 mistress Julia, and consulted me on the subject of his passion ; and 
 only for that, you must take it into your stupid head that I was 
 caballing with him against your honor and my own: thereupon 
 that poor brain of yours was turned with jealousy; you quitted 
 Toledo in a huff, and ran away from your own flesh and blood as 
 you would from a monster of the deserts, without leaving word why 
 or wherefore. Now, which of us two, be so good as to tell me, has 
 most reason to take on and be pettish ?" " Your own dear self, 
 beyond all question," replied Scipio. " Beyond all question," re- 
 echoed she, " my own ill-used self. Don Ferdinand, very shortly 
 after you had taken yourself off from Toledo, married Julia, with 
 whom I continued as long as she lived ; and, after he had lost her 
 by sudden death, I came into my lady her sister's service, who, as 
 well as all her maids, and I would do as much for them, will 
 give me a good character ; honest and sober, and a very termagant 
 among the impertinent fellows." 
 
 My secretary, having nothing to allege against such a character 
 from my lady and her maids, was determined to make the best of a 
 bad bargain. " Once for all," said he to his spouse, " I acknowl- 
 edge my bad behavior, and beg pardon for it before this honorable 
 assembly." It was now time for me to act the mediator, and to 
 move Beatrice for an act of amnesty, assuring her that her husband 
 from this time forward would make it the great object of his life to 
 play the husband to her satisfaction. She began to see that there 
 was reason in roasting of eggs, and all present were loud in their 
 congratulations on the triumph of suffering virtue, and the reno- 
 vated pledge of broken vows. To bind the contract firmer, and 
 make it memorable, they were seated next to one another at table ; 
 their healths were drank according to the laws of toasting : " Wish 
 you joy !" " Many returns of this happy day !" rang round on every 
 side: one would have sworn that the dinner was given for their 
 reconciliation, and not on account of my marriage. 
 
 The third table was the first to be cleared. The young villagers 
 jumped up in a body ; the lads took out their blooming partners ; 
 the tambourines struck up a merry beat ; spectators flocked from 
 the other tables, and caught the enlivening spirit from the gay 
 bustle of the scene. Every limb and muscle of every individual 
 was in motion : the household of the governor and his lady formed 
 a set, apart from the rustics of the company, while their superiors 
 did not disdain to mingle with the homelier dancers. Don Alphonso 
 danced a sarabar.d with Seraphina, and Don Caesar another with 
 Antonia, who afterwards took me for her partner. She did not per-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 551 
 
 form much amiss, considering that she never got much further than 
 the five positions, in learning which she had had her ankles kicked to 
 pieces by a provincial dancing-master at Albarazin, while on a visit 
 to a tradesman's wife, one of her relations. As for me, who, as I 
 have already said, had taken lessons at the Marchioness de Chaves's, 
 I figured away as the principal man in this rural ballet. With re- 
 gard to Beatrice and Scipio, they preferred a little private conver- 
 sation to dancing, that they might compare notes on the subject ofi 
 wear and tear during the painful period of separation ; but their 
 billing and cooing was interrupted by Seraphina, who, having been 
 informed of this dramatic discovery, sent for them to pay the cus- 
 tomary compliments of congratulation. "My good people," said 
 she, " on this day of general joy, it gives me additional pleasure to 
 see you two restored to one another. My friend Scipio, I return 
 you your wife under a firm belief that she has always conducted 
 herself as became a woman ; take up your abode with her here, and 
 be a good husband to her. And you, Beatrice, attach yourself to 
 Antonia, and let her be as much the object of your devoted service 
 as Signer de Santillane is that of your husband." Scipio, who could 
 not possibly, after this, think of Penelope as fit to hold a candle to 
 his own wife, promised to treat her with all the deference due to 
 such a paragon of conjugal fidelity. 
 
 The country people, having kept up the dance till late, withdrew 
 to their own homes ; but the rejoicings were prolonged by the com- 
 pany in the house. There was a grand supper, and at bed-time the 
 vicar-general pronounced the blessing of consummation. Seraphina 
 undressed the bride, and the lords of Leyva did me the same honor. 
 The ridiculous part of the business was, that Don Alphonso's officers 
 and his lady's attendants took it into their heads, by way of divert- 
 ing themselves, to perform the same ceremony : they also undressed 
 Beatrice and Scipio, who, to render the scene supremely farcical, 
 gravely allowed themselves to be untrussed and put to bed with all 
 nuptial pomp and state.
 
 552 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE HONEYMOON (A VERY DULL TIME FOR THE READER), ENLIVENED 
 BY THE COMMENCEMENT OF SCIPIO'S STORY. 
 
 " "Tis heaven itself, 'tis ecstasy of bliss, 
 Uninterrupted joy, untired excess ; 
 Mirth following mirth, the moments dance away ; 
 Love claims the night, and friendship rules the day." 
 
 ON the day after the wedding, the lords of Leyva returned to 
 Valencia, after having lavished on me a thousand marks of 
 friendship. There was such a general clearance, that my secretary 
 and myself, with our respective wives, and our usual establishment, 
 were left in uadisturbed possession of our own home. 
 
 The efforts which we both made to please our ladies were not 
 thrown away : I breathed by degrees into the partner of my joys and 
 sorrows as much love for me as I entertained for her; and Scipio 
 made his better part forget the woes and privations he had occa- 
 sioned her. Beatrice, who had very winning ways with her, and was 
 all things to all women, had no difficulty about worming herself into 
 the good graces of her new mistress, and gaining her complete con- 
 fidence. In short, we all four agreed admirably well together, and 
 began to enjoy a bliss above the common lot of humanity. Every 
 day rolled along more delightfully than the last. Antonia was 
 pensive and demure ; but Beatrice and myself were enlisted in the 
 crew of mirth ; and even though we had been constitutionally sedate, 
 Scipio was among us, and he was of himself a pill to purge melan- 
 choly. The best creature in the world for a snug little party ! one 
 of those merry drolls who have only to show their comical faces, and 
 set the table in a roar of inextinguishable laughter. 
 
 One day, when we had taken a fancy to go after dinnes and doze 
 away the usual interval in the most sequestered spot about the 
 grounds, my secretary got into such exuberant spirits as to chase 
 away the drowsy god by his exhilarating sallies. " Do hold your 
 tongue, my loquacious friend," said I ; " or else, if you are determined 
 to wage war against this lazy custom of our afternoons, at least tell 
 us something which we shall be the wiser for hearing." " With all 
 my heart and soul, sir," answered he. " Would you have me go 
 through all fabulous histories of wandering knights, distressed dam- 
 sels, giants, enchanted castles, and the whole train of legendary ad- 
 ventures ?" " I would much rather hear your own true history," 
 replied I ; " but that is a pleasure which you have not thought fit to 
 give me so long as we have lived together, and I seem likely to go
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 553 
 
 without it to the end of the chapter." " How happens that ?" said 
 he. " If I have not told you my own story, it is because you never 
 expressed the slightest wish to be troubled with the recital ; there- 
 fore it is not my fault if you are in the dark about my past life ; but 
 if you are really at all curious to be let into the secret, my loquacity 
 is very much at your service on the occasion." Antonia, Beatrice, 
 and myself unanimously took him at his word, and arranged our- 
 selves for listening like an attentive audience. The speculation was 
 a safe one on our parts ; for the tale was sure to answer, either as a 
 stimulant or a soporific. 
 
 " I certainly ought to have been descended," said Scipio, " from 
 some family of the highest rank and earliest antiquity ; or, in default 
 of such parentage, from the most distinguished orders of personal 
 merit, such as that of St. James of Alcantara, if a man may be per- 
 mitted to decide on the fittest circumstances for his ojvn birth: but 
 as it is not among the privileges of human nature to elect one's own 
 father, you are to know that mine, by name Torribio Scipio, was a 
 subaltern myrmidon of the Holy Brotherhood. As he was going back 
 and fore on the king's highway, and looking after business in his 
 own line, he met, once on a time, between Cuen<ja and Toledo, with 
 a young Bohemian babe of chance, who appeared very pretty in his 
 eyes. She was alone, on foot, and carried her whole patrimony at 
 her back in a kind of knapsack. ' Whither are you going, my little 
 darling ?' said he, in a philandering tone of voice, unlike the natural 
 hoarseness of his accents. ' Good worthy gentleman,' answered she, 
 ' I am going to Toledo, where I hope to gain an honest livelihood by 
 hook or by crook.' ' Your intentions are highly commendable,' re- 
 torted he ; ' and I doubt not but you have many a hook and many a 
 crook among the implements of your trade.' ' Yes, with a blessing 
 on my endeavors,' rejoined she : ' I have several little ways of doing 
 for myself: I know how to make washes and creams for the ladies' 
 faces, perfumes for their noses and their chambers ; then I can tell 
 fortunes, can search for things lost with a sieve and shears, and erect 
 figures for the taking in of shadows with a glass.' 
 
 " Torribio, concluding that so well-provided a girl would be a very- 
 advantageous match for a man like himself, who could scarcely 
 scrape wherewithal to support life by his own profession, though he 
 was as good a thief-taker as the best of them, made her an offer of 
 marriage, and she was nothing loath, nor prudishly coy. They flew 
 on the wings of inclination and convenience to Toledo, where they 
 were joined together ; and you behold in me the happy pledge of 
 holy and lawful matrimony. They fixed themselves in a shop on 
 the outskirts of the town, where my mother commenced her career 
 by selling the said washes, creams, tapes, laces, silk, thread, toys.
 
 554 ADVENTURES OF GIL ISLAS. 
 
 and peddler's ware ; but trade not being brisk enough to live com- 
 fortably by it, she turned fortune-teller. This drew her customers, 
 got her countenance, credit, crowns, and pistoles : a thousand dupes 
 of either sex soon trumpeted up the reputation of Cosclina for so 
 my gypsy mamma had the honor to be named. Some one or other 
 came every day to bargain for the exercise of her skill in the black 
 art ; at one time a nephew at his wit's and purse's end, wanting to 
 know how soon his uncle was to set off post for the other world, and 
 leave behind him wherewithal to piece his worn-out fortunes; at 
 another, some yielding, lovesick girl, to inquire whether the swain 
 who kept her company, and had promised to marry her, would keep 
 his word or be false-hearted. 
 
 " You will take notice, if you please, that my mother always sold 
 good luck for good money ; if the accomplishment trod on the heels 
 of the prediction, well and good; if it was fulfilled according to the 
 rule of contraries, she was always cool, though the parties were ever 
 so violently in a passion, and told them plainly that it was her 
 familiar's fault, not hers, for though she paid him the highest 
 wages, and bound him by potent spells to stir up the caldron of 
 of futurity from the bottom, like earthly cooks, he would some- 
 times be careless or out of humor, and apportion the ingredients 
 wrongly. 
 
 " When my mother thought the conjuncture momentous enough 
 to raise the devil without cheapening him in the eyes of the vulgar, 
 Torribio Scipio enacted his infernal majesty, and played the part 
 just as if he had been born to it, humoring the hideous features of 
 the character by a very small aggravation of his own natural face, 
 and practicing the pandemonian note of elocution in the lower 
 octave of his voice. A person in the slightest degree superstitious 
 would be scared out of his senses at my father's figure. But one 
 day, as his satanic prototype would have it, there came a savage 
 rascal of a captain, who asked to see the devil, for no earthly pur- 
 pose but to run him clean through the body. The Inquisition, hav- 
 ing received notice of the devil's death, sent to take charge of his 
 widow, and administered to his effects ; as for poor little me, just 
 seven years old at the time, I was sent to the foundling hospital. 
 There were some charitable ecclesiastics on that establishment, who, 
 bv<5ing liberally paid for the education of the poor orphans, were so 
 zealous in their office as to teach them reading and writing. They 
 fancied there was something particularly promising about me, which 
 made them pick me out from all the rest, and send me on their 
 errands. I was letter-carrier, messenger, and chapel-clerk. As a 
 token of their gratitude, they undertook to teach me Latin ; but 
 their mode of tuition was so harsh, and their discipline so severe,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 555 
 
 though I was a sort of pet with them, that, not being able to stand 
 it longer, I ran away one morning while out on an errand, and, so 
 far from returning to the hospital, got out of Toledo through the 
 suburbs on the Seville side. 
 
 " Though I had not then completed my ninth year, I already felt 
 the pleasure of being free, and master of my own actions. I was 
 without money and without food. No matter ! I had no lessons to 
 say by heart, no themes to hammer out. After having pushed on 
 for two hours, my little legs began to refuse their office. I had 
 never before made so long a trip. It became necessary to stop and 
 take some rest. I sat myself down at the foot of a tree close by the 
 highway ; there, by way of amusement, I took my grammar out of 
 my pocket, and began conning it over by way of a joke ; but at 
 length, coming to recollect the raps on the knuckles and the casti- 
 gations on the more classical seat of punishment which it had cost 
 me, I tore it leaf by leaf with an apostrophe of angry import. 'Ah ! 
 you odious thing of a book ! you shall never make me shed tears 
 any more.' While I was assuaging my vindictive spirit by strewing 
 the ground about me with declensions and conjugations, there 
 passed that way a hermit with a white beard, with a large pair of 
 spectacles on his nose, and altogether an outside of much sanctity. 
 He came up to me, and if I was an object of speculation to him, he 
 was no less so to me. ' My little man,' said he, with a smile, ' it 
 should seem as if we had both taken a sudden liking to each other, 
 and in that case we cannot do better than to live together in my 
 hermitage, which is not two hundred yards distant.' ' Your most 
 obedient for that,' answered I, pertly enough ; ' I have not the least 
 desire to turn hermit.' At this answer the good old man set up a 
 roar of laughter, and said, with a kind embrace, ' You must not be 
 frightened at my dress ; if it is not becoming, it is useful ; it gives 
 me my title to a charming retreat, and to the good will of the 
 neighboring villages, whose inhabitants love, or rather idolize me. 
 Come this way,, and I will clothe you in a jacket of the same stuff 
 as mine. If you think well of it, you shall share with me the 
 pleasures of the life I lead ; and if it does not hit your fancy, you 
 shall not only be at liberty to leave me, but you may depend on it 
 that in the event of our parting, I shall not fail to do something 
 handsome by you.' 
 
 " I suffered myself to be persuaded, and followed the old hermit, 
 who put several questions to me, which I answered with a truth- 
 telling simplicity not always to be found in a more advanced stage 
 of morality. On our arrival at the hermitage, he set some fruit 
 before me, which I devoured, having eaten nothing all day but a 
 slice of dry bread, on which I had breakfasted at the hospital in the
 
 556 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS, 
 
 morning. The recluse, seeing me play so good a part with my jaws, 
 said, ' Courage, my good boy ! do not spare my fruit ; there is plenty 
 of it, Heaven be praised ! I have not brought you hither to starve 
 you.' And indeed that was true enough, for an hour after our 
 coming in, he kindled a fire, put a leg of mutton down to roast, and, 
 while I turned the spit, laid a small table for himself and me, with 
 a very dirty napkin upon it. 
 
 " When the meat was done enough, he took it up, and cut some 
 slices for our supper, which was no dry bargain, since we quaffed a 
 delicious wine, of which he had laid in ample store. ' Well, my 
 chicken,' said he, as he rose from the table, ' are you satisfied with 
 my style of living ? You see how we shall fare every day, if you fix 
 your quarters here. Then, with respect to liberty, you shall do just 
 as you please in this hermitage. All I require of you is to accom- 
 pany me whenever I go begging to the neighboring villages ; you 
 will be of use in driving an ass laden with two panniers, which the 
 charitable peasants usually fill with eggs, bread, meat, and fish. I 
 ask no more than that.' ' I will do,' said I, ' whatever you desire, 
 provided you will not oblige me to learn Latin.' Friar Chrysos- 
 tom for that was the old hermit's name could not help smiling at 
 my schoolboy frowardness, and assured me once more that he 
 should not pretend to interfere either with my studies or my inclin- 
 ations. 
 
 " On the very next day we went on a foraging party with the don- 
 key, which I led Tty the halter. We made a profitable gleaning ; 
 for all the farmers took a pleasure in throwing somewhat into our 
 panniers. One chucked in an uncut loaf, another a large piece of 
 bacon ; here a goose, there a pair of giblets, and a partridge to 
 crown the whole. But without entering further into particulars, we 
 carried home provender enough for a week ; and hence you may 
 infer the esteem and friendship in which the country people held 
 the holy man. It is true that he was a great blessing to the neigh- 
 borhood : his advice was always at their service when they came to 
 consult him : he restored peace where discord had reigned in fam- 
 ilies, and made up matches for the daughters ; he had a nostrum 
 for almost any disease you could mention, with an assortment of 
 pious rituals to avert the curse of barrenness. 
 
 " Hence you perceive that I was in no danger of starving in my 
 hermitage. My lodging, too, was none of the worst ; stretched on 
 good fresh straw, with a cushion of ratteen under my head, and a 
 coverlet over me of the same stuff, I made but one nap of it all 
 night. Brother Chrysostom, who had promised me a hermit's 
 dress, made up an old gown of his own for me, and called me little 
 brother Scipio. No sooner did I appear in my religious uniform
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 557 
 
 than the ass's back suffered for my genteel appearance in the eyes 
 of the villagers. It was who should give most to the little brother! 
 so much were they delighted with his spruce figure. 
 
 " The easy, slothful life I led with the old hermit could not be 
 very revolting to a boy of my age. On the contrary, it suited my 
 taste so exactly, that I should have continued it to this time, but 
 that the fates and destinies were weaving a more complicated tissue 
 for my future years. It was cast in the figure of my nativity, 
 early to rouse myself from the effeminacy of a religious life, and to 
 take leave of brother Chrysostom after the following manner. 
 
 " I often observed the old man at work upon his pillow, unsewing 
 and sewing it up again ; and one day, I saw him put in some money. 
 This circumstance excited a tingling curiosity, which I promised 
 myself to satisfy the first time he went to Toledo, as he generally 
 did once a week. I waited impatiently for the day, but as yet, 
 without any other motive than the mere desire of prying. At last 
 the good man went his way, and I unpicked his pillow, where I 
 found, among the stuffing, the amount of about fifty crowns in all 
 sorts of coin. 
 
 " This treasure must have accumulated from the gratitude of the 
 peasantry, whom the hermit had cured by his nostrums, and of their 
 wives, who had become pregnant by virtue of his spiritual inter- 
 ference. But however it got there, I no sooner set my eyes on the 
 money, which might be mine without any one near me to say nay, 
 than the gypsy voice of nature and pedigree spoke within me. An 
 inextinguishable itch of pilfering tingled in my veins, and proved 
 that we come into the world with the mark of our descent, and with 
 our characters about us. I yielded to the temptation, without a 
 struggle, tied up my booty in a canvas bag where we kept our 
 combs and night-caps; then, having laid aside the hermit's and 
 resumed my foundling's dress, got clear off from the hermitage, and 
 hugged my bag as though it had contained the boundless treasure 
 of the Indies. 
 
 " You have heard my first exploit," continued Scipio, " and I doubt 
 not but you will expect a succession of similar practices. Your an- 
 ticipations will not be disappointed , for there are many such 
 evidences of genius behind, before I come to those of my actions 
 which prove me good as well as clever ; but I shall come to them, 
 and you will be convinced by the sequel, that a scoundrel born 
 may be licked into virtue, as the cub of a bear into shape. 
 
 " Child as I was, I knew better than to take the Toledo road ; it 
 would have been exposing myself to the hazard of meeting friar 
 Chrysostom, who would have balanced accounts with me on a very 
 thriftless principle. I therefore travelled in another direction, lead-
 
 558 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 ing to the village of Galves, where I stopped at an inn kept by a 
 landlady who was a widow of forty, and hung out the bunch of 
 grapes to a very good purpose. This good woman no sooner saw 
 me, than, judging by my dress that I must be a truant from the 
 orphan school, she asked who I was and whither I was going. I 
 answered that, having lost my father and mother, I was looking for 
 a place. ' Can you read, my dear ?' said she. I assured her that I 
 could read, and write, too, with the best of them. In point of fact, 
 I could just form my letters, and join them so as to look a little 
 like writing ; and that was clerkship enough for a village pothouse. 
 ' Then I will take you into my service,' replied the hostess. 'You 
 may earn your board easily enough by scoring up the customers and 
 keeping my ledger. I shall give you no wages, because this inn is 
 frequented by very genteel company, who never forget the waiters. 
 You may reckon upon very considerable perquisites.' 
 
 " I clinched the bargain, reserving to myself, as you may suppose, 
 the right of emigration whenever my abode at Galves should cease 
 to be pleasant. No sooner was I settled in my place, than a weight 
 lay heavy on my mind. I did not wish it to be known that I had 
 money ; and it was no easy matter to devise where it could be hid- 
 den, so as that what was sauce for the goose should not be sauce for 
 the gander. I was not yet well enough acquainted with the house 
 to trust the places obviously most proper for such a deposit. What 
 a source of embarrassment is great wealth 1 I determined, however, 
 on a corner of our granary under some straw ; and, believing it to 
 be safer there than anywhere else, made myself as easy about it as I 
 well could. 
 
 " The household consisted of three servants a lubberly hostler, 
 a young Galician chambermaid, and myself. Each of us sponged 
 what we could upon travellers, whether on foot or on horseback. I 
 always came in for some small change, when the bill was paid. 
 Then the equestrians gave something to the hostler, for taking care 
 of their beasts ; but as for our female fellow-servant, the muleteers 
 who passed that way chucked her under the chin, and gave her 
 more crowns than we got farthings. I had no sooner realized a 
 penny, than away it went to the granary, and slept with its pre- 
 cursors ; so that the higher rose my heap, the more greedy did my 
 little heart become. Sometimes would I kiss the hallowed images 
 of my idolatry, and look at them with a devotional glow which few 
 worshippers feel but those whose religion is their gold. 
 
 " This inordinate passion sent me back and fore to gratify it at 
 least thirty times a day. I often met the landlady on the staircase. 
 She, being naturally of a suspicious temper, had a mind to find out 
 one day what could carry me every minute to the corn loft. She
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 559 
 
 therefore went up, and began rummaging about everywhere, sup- 
 posing perhaps that it was my receptacle for articles purloined in 
 the house. Of course she did not forget to pull the straw about ; 
 and behold, there was my bag 1 Two hands in a dish and one in a 
 purse, was not one of her proverbs ; so that, finding the contents in 
 crowns and pistoles, she thought, or seemed to think, that the money 
 was lawfully and honestly hers. At least she had possession, and 
 that is nine points of the law, though scarcely one of honesty. But 
 to do the thing decently, after calling me little wretch, little rascal, 
 and so forth, she ordered the hostler, a fellow without any will but 
 hers, to give me a hearty flogging ; and then turned me out of doors, 
 with this salt eel for my breakfast, and a lady-like oath that no 
 light-fingered gentry should ever darken her doors. In vain did I 
 protest and vow that I had never wronged my mistress : she aflBrmed 
 the direct contrary, and her word would go further than mine at 
 any time. Thus were friar Chrysostom's savings transferred from 
 one thief to a greater thief in the thief-taker. 
 
 "I wept over the loss of my money as a father over the death of 
 his only son ; and though my tears could not bring back what I 
 had lost, they at least answered the purpose of exciting pity in some 
 people, who saw how bitterly they flowed, and among others in the 
 parson, who was accidentally going by. He seemed affected by my 
 sad plight, and took me home with him. There, to gain my confi- 
 dence, or rather to pump me, he began soothing my sorrows. ' How 
 much this poor child is to be pitied !' said he. ' Is it any wonder if, 
 thrown upon the wide world at so tender an age, he has committed 
 .a bad action ? Grown up men are not always proof against the flesh 
 or the devil.' Then, addressing me, ' Child, from what part of Spain 
 do you come, and who are your parents ? You have the look of 
 family about you. Open your heart to me confidentially, and de- 
 pend upon it, I never will desert you.' 
 
 " His reverence, by this kind and insinuating language, engaged 
 me by degrees to tell him all my history, without falsification or 
 reserve. I owned everything ; and thus he moralized on the leading 
 article of my confession : ' My little friend, though hermits ought 
 to lay up such treasures as neither force nor fraud can wrest from 
 them, that was no excuse for your taking the measure of punish- 
 ment into your own hands : by robbing brother Chrysostom, you 
 nevertheless sinned against that article of the decalogue which tells 
 you not to steal ; but I will engage to make the hostess return the 
 money, and will punctually remit it to the reverend friar at his 
 hermitage : you may therefore make your conscience perfectly easy 
 on that score.' Now, between ourselves, my conscience was per- 
 fectly callous to everything like compunction with respect to the
 
 560 ADVEXTUHES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 crime in question. The parson, who had his own ends to answer, 
 had not done with me yet. ' My lad,' pursued he, ' I mean to take 
 you by the hand, and find a good berth for you. I shall send you 
 to-morrow morning, by tke carrier, to my nephew, a canon of 
 Toledo. He will not refuse, at my request, to admit you upon his 
 establishment, where they live like so many sons of the church, 
 rosily, merrily, and fatly, upon the rents of his prebendal stall : you 
 will be perfectly comfortable there, take my word for it.' 
 
 " Patronage like this gave me so much encouragement that I did 
 not throw away another thought either upon my bag or my whip- 
 ping. My mind was wholly occupied with the idea of living rosily, 
 merrily, and fatly, like a son of the church. The following day, at 
 breakfast time, there came, according to orders, a muleteer to the 
 parsonage, with two mules saddled and bridled. They helped me 
 to mount one, the muleteer flung his leg over the other, and we 
 trotted for Toledo. My fellow-traveller was a good, pleasant com- 
 panion, and desired nothing better than to indulge his humor at 
 the expense of his neighbor. 'My little volunteer,' said he, 'you 
 .have a good friend in his reverence, the minister of Galves. He 
 could not give you a better proof of his kindness than by placing 
 you with his nephew the canon, whom I have the honor of knowing, 
 far beyond all question of comparison, to be the cock of the chapter ; 
 and a hearty one he is. None of your lantern-jawed saints, with 
 Lent in his face, a cat-of-nine-tails on his back, and a cholera 
 morbus in his belly. No such thing ! Our doctor is rubicund in 
 the jowl, efflorescent on the nose, with a wicked eye at a bumper or 
 a girl ; militant against no earthly pleasure, but most addicted to 
 the good things of the table. You will be as snug there as a bug in 
 a blanket.' 
 
 "This hangman of a muleteer, perceiving with what exquisite 
 satisfaction I took in all this, went on tantalizing me with the joys 
 of an ecclesiastical life. He never dropped the subject. till we got 
 to the village of Obisa, and stopped there to refresh our mules. 
 Then, while bustling about the inn, he accidentally dropped a paper 
 from his pocket, which I was cunning enough to pick up without 
 his seeing me, and took an opportunity of reading while he was in 
 the stable. It was a letter addressed to the governors and superin- 
 tendents of the orphan school, conceived in these terms : 
 
 ' ' Gentlemen : I consider it as an act at once of charity and of 
 duty to send you back a little truant; he seems a shrewd lad 
 enough, and may do very well with good looking after. By dint of 
 hard and frequent chastisement, I doubt not but you will ultimately 
 bring him to a sense of his own unworthiness and your benevolence.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 561 
 
 May a blessing be vouchsafed on your pious and charitable labors 
 for the early extirpation of sin and wickedness. 
 
 'THE MINISTER OF GALVES.' 
 
 " When I had finished reading this pleasant letter, which let me 
 into the good intentions of his reverence the rector, it required little 
 deliberation to determine what I was to do ; from the inn to the 
 banks of the Tagus, a space of three good miles, was but a hop, 
 step, and jump. Fear lent me wings to escape from the governors 
 of the foundling hospital, whither 1 was absolutely resolved never to 
 return, having formed principles of taste diametrically opposite to 
 their method of teaching the classics. I went into Toledo with as 
 light a heart as if I had known where to get my daily bread. To be 
 sure, it is a town of ways and means, where a man who can live by 
 his wits need never die of hunger. Scarcely had I reached the high 
 street when a well-dressed gentleman, by whom I brushed, caught 
 me by the arm, saying, ' My little fellow, do you want a place ? You 
 are just such a smart lad as I was looking for.' 'And you are just 
 the master for my money,' answered I. 'Since that is the case/ 
 rejoined he, ' you are mine from this moment, and have only to fol- 
 low me,' which I did without asking any more questions. 
 
 " This spark, about the age of thirty, and bearing the name of 
 Don Abel, lodged in very handsome ready-furnished apartments. 
 He was by profession a blackleg, and the following was the nature 
 of our engagement. In the morning I got him as much tobacco as 
 would fill five or six pipes ; brushed his clothes, and ran for a bar- 
 ber to shave him and trim his whiskers ; after which he made the 
 circle of the tennis-courts, whence he never returned home till 
 eleven or twelve at night. But every morning, at going out, he 
 gave me three reals for the expenses of the day, leaving me master 
 of my own time till ten o'clock in the evening, and provided I was 
 within doors by his return, all was well. He gave me a livery be- 
 sides, in which I looked like a little lackey of illicit love. I took 
 very kindly to my condition, and certainly could not have met with 
 any more congenial with my temper. 
 
 " Such and so happy had been my way of life for nearly a month, 
 when my employer inquired whether I liked his service, and on my 
 answering in the affirmative, ' Well, then,' resumed he, ' to-morrow 
 we shall set out for Seville, whither my concerns call me. You will 
 not be sorry to see the capital of Andalusia. " He that hath not 
 Seville seen," says the proverb, " Is no traveller, I ween." ' I engaged 
 at once to follow him all over the world. On that very day, the 
 Seville carrier fetched away a large trunk with my master's ward- 
 robe, and on the next morning we were on the road for Andalusia. 
 36
 
 562 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 " Signor Don Abel was so lucky at play that he never lost but 
 when it was convenient ; but then it was seldom convenient to stay 
 long in a place, because those who are losers always find out at last 
 that though chance is a dangerous antagonist, certainly it is a des- 
 perate one, and that accounted for our journey. On our arrival at 
 Seville, we took lodgings near the Cordova gate, and resumed the 
 same mode of life as at Toledo. But my master found some differ- 
 ence between the two towns. The Seville tennis-courts could pro- 
 duce players equally in fortune's good graces with himself, so that 
 he sometimes came home a good deal out of humor. One morning, 
 when he was biting the bridle for the loss of a hundred pistoles the 
 day before, he asked why I had not carried his linen to the laun- 
 dress. I pleaded forgetfulness. Thereupon, flying into a passion, 
 he gave me half a dozen boxes on the ear, in such a style as to kindle 
 an illumination in my blinking eyes to which the glories of Solo- 
 mon's temple were no more to be compared than the torches in a 
 Candlemas procession to a rushlight. ' There is for you, you little 
 scoundrel !' said he ; ' take that, and learn to mind your business. 
 Must I be eternally at your heels to remind you of what you are to 
 do? Are your brains in your belly, and all your wits in your 
 grinders ? You are not a downright idiot. Then why not prevent 
 my wants and anticipate my orders ?' After this experimental lec- 
 ture, he went out for the day, leaving me in high dudgeon at a 
 reprimand so much in the manner of my friend the hostler, for such 
 a trifle as not getting up his things for the wash. 
 
 " I could never learn what happened to him a short time after at 
 a tennis-court, but one evening he came home in a terrible heat. 
 ' Scipio,' said he, ' I am bent on going to Italy, and must embark the 
 day after to-morrow on board a vessel bound for Genoa. I have my 
 reasons for making this little excursion ; of course you will be glad 
 to attend me, and to profit by so fine an opportunity of seeing the 
 loveliest country on the face of the earth.' My tongue gave con- 
 sent, but with a salvo in my heart, and a bargain with my revenge, 
 to give him the slip just at the moment of embarkation. This was 
 so delightful a scheme, that I could not help imparting it to a bully 
 by profession, whom I met in the street. During my abode in 
 Seville, I had picked up some awkward acquaintance, and this was 
 one of the most ungainly. I told him how and why my ears had 
 been boxed, and then communicated my project of running away 
 from Don Abel just before the ship was to sail, begging to know 
 what he thought of the plan. 
 
 " My bluff adviser puckered his eyebrows while he listened, and 
 fiddled with his fingers about his whiskers ; then, blaming my mas- 
 ter very seriously, ' My little hero,' said he, ' you are eternally dis-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 563 
 
 graced, and can never show your face again, if you sit down quietly 
 with so paltry a satisfaction as what you propose. To let Don Abel 
 go off by himself would be a poor revenge for wrongs like yours ; 
 the punishment should be proportioned to his crime. Let us fine 
 him to the full amount of his purse and effects, which we will share 
 like brothers after he is gone.' Now, it is to be noted that though 
 thieving fell in very naturally with the bent of my genius, the pro- 
 posal rather startled me, as the robbery was upon a large scale for 
 so young an apprentice. 
 
 " And yet the arch deceiver of my innocence found the means of 
 working me up to the perpetration, so that the result of our enter- 
 prise was as follows : This glorious ruffian, a tall, brawny fellow, 
 came in the evening about twilight to our lodging. I showed my 
 master's travelling trunk ready packed, and asked him whether he 
 could carry so heavy a load upon his shoulders. ' So heavy as that,' 
 said he : ' show me where a transfer of property is to be made in my 
 favor, and I could run with Noah's ark to the top of Mount Ararat.' 
 To prove his words, he felt the trunk, flung it carelessly over his 
 back, and scampered down stairs. I followed nimbly; and we had 
 just got to the street door, when Don Abel, brought home in the nick 
 of time by the ascendency of his lucky stars, stood like an apparition, 
 to appall our guilty souls. 
 
 " ' Whither are you going with that trunk ?' said he. I was so 
 taken by surprise, that my assurance failed me ; and broad-shoulders, 
 finding that he had drawn a blank in the lottery, threw down his 
 booty, and took to his heels, rather than be troubled for an explana- 
 tion. ' Once more, whither are you going with that trunk ?' said 
 my master. ' Sir,' answered I, with all the honest simplicity of a 
 criminal pleading in arrest of judgment, ' I was going to put it on 
 board the vessel, that we might have the less to do to-morrow before 
 we embark ourselves.' ' Indeed ! Then you know,' retorted he, ' in 
 what ship 1 have taken my passage?' ' No, sir,' replied I ; ' but 
 those who can talk Latin may always find their way to Rome: I 
 should have inquired at the port, and somebody would have informed 
 me.' At this explanation, which left his opinion where it found it, 
 he darted a furious glance at me. I thought, for all the world, he 
 was going to cuff me again about the head. ' Who ordered you,' 
 cried he, ' to take my trunk out of this house ?' ' You, your own 
 self,' said I. ' Can you possibly have forgotten how you rated me 
 but a few days ago? Did not you tell me, with a flea in my ear, 
 that you would have me prevent your wants, and do beforehand 
 from my own head whatever your service might require? Now, not 
 to be thrashed a second time for want of forethought, I was seeing 
 your trunk safe and soon enough on board.' On this the gamester,
 
 564 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS. 
 
 finding that I had cut my teeth of wisdom sooner than suited his 
 purpose, turned me off very coolly, saying, ' Go about your business, 
 Master Scipio, and speed as you may deserve. I do not like to play 
 with folks who are in the habit of revoking. Get out of my sight, or 
 I shall set your solfeggio in a crying key.' 
 
 " I spared him the trouble of twice telling me to go. Off I shot 
 like an arrow, for fear he should unfledge me by taking away my 
 livery. When distant enough to slacken my pace, I walked along the 
 streets, musing whither I might betake myself for a night's lodging, 
 with only two reals in my pocket. The gate at the archbishop's 
 palace at length stared me in the face ; and, as his grace's supper 
 was then dressing, a savory odor exhaled from the kitchens, impreg- 
 nating the gale with soup and sauce for a mile round. ' Ods hari- 
 cots and cutlets !' thought I ; ' it would be no hard matter for me to 
 dispense with one of those little side dishes, which will be of no use 
 to the archbishop but to make out the figure of his table : nay, I 
 would be contented only just to dip in my four fingers and thumb, 
 and then to sup like a bear upon suckings. But how to accomplish 
 it ! Is there no way of bringing these choice morsels to a better test 
 than that of smell? And why not? Hunger, they say, will break 
 through stone walls.' On this idea did I set my wits to work ; and 
 by dint of conning over the subject, a stratagem struck me which set 
 my lungs as well as appetite in motion, just as the old carpenter kept 
 bawling, ' I have found it,' like a madman, when he had hit the right 
 nail of his proposition on the head. I ran into the court of the palace, 
 and made the best of my way to the kitchens, calling out with all my 
 might, 'Help! help !' as if some assassin had been at my heels. 
 
 "At my reiterated cries, Master Diego, the archbishop's cook, ran 
 with three or four kitchen drudges to learn what was the matter; 
 and seeing only me, asked why I roared so loud. ' Ah, good sir,' 
 answered I, with every token of exquisite distress, ' for mercy's sake 
 and for St. Polycarp's, save me, I beseech you, from the fury of a 
 blusterer, who swears he will kill me.' ' But where is this disturber 
 of the public peace ?' cried Diego. ' You have no one to quarrel 
 with but yourself; for I do not see so much as a cat to spit at you. 
 Go your ways, my little man, and do not be afraid ; it is evidently 
 some wag who has been playing upon your cowardice for his diver- 
 sipn : but he knew better than to follow you within these walls, for 
 we would have cut his ears off at the least.' ' No, no,' said I, ' it 
 was for no laughing matter that he ran after me. He is a noted foot- 
 pad, and meant to rob me ; I am certain that he is now waiting for 
 me at the corner of the street.' ' Then he may wait long enough,' 
 replied the knight of the iron spit; 'for you shall stay here till to- 
 morrow. You shall sup with us, and we will give you a bed.'
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 565 
 
 " I was out of my little wits with joy at the mention of these last 
 tidings ; and it was like the turnpike road to paradise after crossing 
 an Arabian desert, when, being led by Master Diego through the 
 kitchens, I there saw my lord archbishop's supper, and the stew- 
 pans in the last throes of parturition. There were fifteen account- 
 able souls for I reckoned them up in attendance on the labor; 
 but the litter of dishes far outnumbered the fecundity of Nature in 
 her most prolific mood : so much more gracious and bountiful is 
 Providence to the heads of the church in the indulgence of their 
 appetites than mindful of the worthless brute creation in the propa- 
 gation of its kind. Here it was, at the fountain head of prelacy, 
 inhaling an' atmosphere of gravy, instead of just snuffing the scent 
 as it lay upon the breeze, that I first shook hands with sensuality. I 
 had the honor of supping with the scullions, and of sleeping in their 
 room an initiation of friendship so sincere and strong, that on the 
 following day, when I went to thank Master Diego for his goodness 
 in vouchsafing me a refuge, be said, ' Our kitchen lads have been 
 with me in a body, to declare how excessively delighted they are 
 with your manners, and to propose having you among them as a 
 fellow-servant. How should you, on your part, like to make one of 
 the society?' I answered that with such a feather in my cap, I 
 should be the vainest and the happiest of mortals. ' Then so be it, 
 my friend,' replied he ; ' consider yourself henceforth as a buttress 
 of the hierarchy.' With this invitation, he introduced me to the 
 major-domo, who thought he saw talent enough in me for a 
 turnspit. 
 
 " No sooner was I in possession of so honorable an office than 
 Master Diego, following the practice of cooks in great houses, who 
 pamper up their pretty dears in private with all sorts of good things, 
 selected me to supply a lady in the neighborhood with a regular 
 table of butcher's meat, poultry, and game. This good friend of 
 his was a widow on the right side of thirty, very pretty, very lively, 
 and to all appearance contenting herself with cupboard love for her 
 cook. His generous passion was not confined to furnishing her 
 with bread, meat, and garnish ; she drank her wine too, and the 
 archbishop was her wine-merchant. 
 
 " The improvement of my parts kept pace with that of my carnal 
 condition in his grace's palace, where I gave a specimen of rising 
 genius still ringing on the trump of fame at Seville. The pages 
 and some others of the household had a mind to get up a play on 
 my lord archbishop's birthday. They chose a popular Spanish 
 tragedy, and wanting a boy about my age to personate the young 
 King of Leon, cast me for the part. The major-domo, a great 
 spouter, undertook to train me for the stage, and, after a few lessons,
 
 506 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 pronounced that I should not be the worst actor of the company. 
 His grace not wishing to starve so handsome a compliment to him- 
 self, no expense was spared in getting it up magnificently. The 
 largest hall in the palace was fitted up as a theatre, with appropri- 
 ate decorations. At the side scene there was a bed of turf, on which 
 I was to be discovered asleep, when the Moors were to rush in and 
 take me prisoner. When we had got so forward with our rehearsals 
 as to be sure of being ready by the time fixed, the archbishop sent 
 out cards of invitation to all the principal families in the city. 
 
 " At length the great, the important day arrived ; and each per- 
 former was big with the contrivance and adjustment of his dress. 
 Mine was brought by a tailor, accompanied by our major-domo, 
 who, after taking the trouble of drilling me at rehearsal, wished to 
 see justice done to my outward appearance. The tailor put on me 
 a rich robe of blue velvet, with hanging sleeves, gold lace, fringe, 
 and buttons: the major-domo himself crowned me with a paste- 
 board crown, studded with false diamonds and real pearls. More- 
 over, they gave me a sash of pink silk worked in silver; so that 
 every new ornament was like a quill-feather in the wing of a bird. 
 At last, about dusk, the play begun. The curtain drew up for my 
 soliloquy, the purport of which was to express, in a roundabout, 
 poetical way, that not being able to defend myself from the influ- 
 ence of sleep, I was going to lie down and take it as it came. To 
 suit the action to the word, I sidled off to the corner between the 
 flat and the wings, and squatted down on my bed of turf; but 
 instead of going to sleep, according to promise, I was hammering 
 upon the means of getting into the street, and running away with 
 my coronation finery. A little private staircase, leading under the 
 theatre into the lower saloon, seemed to furnish the probability of 
 success. I slid away slyly, while the audience were considering 
 some necessary question of the play, and ran down the staircase, 
 through the saloon to the door, calling out, ' Make way ! make way ! 
 I must change my dress, and run up again in a moment !' They all 
 made a lane, for fear of hindering me ; so that in less than two 
 minutes I got clear out of the palace, under cover of the darkness, 
 and scampered to the house of my friend who saw gentlemen's 
 trunks safe on board. 
 
 " He stared like a stuck pig at my equipment ! But when I let 
 him into the why and the wherefore, he laughed ready to split his 
 sides. Then, shaking hands in the sincerity of his heart, because 
 he flattered himself with the hope of a pension on the King of 
 Leon's civil list, he wished me joy of so successful a first appear- 
 ance, and joined issue with the major-domo in the prognostic, that 
 with encouragement and practice I should turn out a first-rate actor,
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 567 
 
 and make no little noise in the world. After we had diverted our- 
 selves for some time at the expense of my manager and audience, 
 I said to the bully, ' What shall we do with this magnificent dress ?' 
 ' Do not make yourself uneasy about that,' answered he. ' I know 
 an honest broker, without an atom of curiosity in his composition, 
 who will buy or sell anything with any person, provided that he 
 gets the turn of the market upon the transaction. I will fetch him 
 to you to-morrow morning.' The knowing fellow was as good as 
 his word ; for he went out early the next day, leaving me in bed, 
 and returned two hours afterwards with the broker, carrying a yellow 
 bundle under his arm. 'My friend,' said he, 'give me leave to 
 introduce Signer Ybagnez of Segovia, who, in spite of the bad 
 example set him by the trade in general, trusts to fair dealing and 
 .small profits for a moderate pittance and an unblemished character. 
 He will tell you to a fraction what the dress you want to part with 
 is really worth, and you may take his calculation as the balance of 
 justice between man and man.' ' Oh, yes ! to a nicety,' said the 
 broker. ' Else wherefore live I in a Christian land, but to appraise 
 for my neighbor as for myself? To take a mean advantage never 
 was, thank heaven ! and at these years never shall be, imputed to 
 Ybagnez of Segovia. Let us look a little at those articles t You 
 are the seller ; I am the buyer I We have only to agree upon an 
 equitable price.' ' Here they are,' said the bully, pulling them out: 
 ' now own the truth was there ever anything more magnificent? 
 You do not often see such velvet: and then the trimming !' 'You 
 cannot say too much for it,' answered the salesman, examining the 
 suit with the prying eye of a dealer: 'it is of the very first quality.' 
 'And what think you of the pearls upon this crown ?' resumed my 
 friend. 'A little rounder,' observed Ybagnez, ' and there would be 
 no setting a price upon them! However, take them as they are, it 
 is a very fine set, and I do not want to find fault about trifles. Now, 
 your common run of appraisers, under my circumstances, would 
 affect to disparage the goods for the sake of getting them cheaper ; 
 one of those fellows would have the conscience to offer twenty 
 pistoles; but there is nothing like bargaining with an upright, 
 downright man ! I will give forty at a word ; take them or leave 
 them.' 
 
 " Had Ybagnez ventured up to a hundred, he would not have 
 burned his fingers; for the pearls alone would have fetched two 
 hundred anywhere. The bully, who went snacks, then said, ' Now 
 only look ! What a mercy it is to fall into the hands of a.man not 
 of this world ! Signor Ybagnez estimates money as dross, in com- 
 parison of his principles and his soul. He may die to-night, and 
 yet not be taken unprepared !' ' This is too much ! You make
 
 568 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 me blush,' said the salesman of principle and soul ; ' but so far is 
 true, that my price is always fixed. Well, now, is it a bargain ? 
 The money down upon the nail, too !' ' Stop a moment,' answered 
 the bully ; ' my little friend must first try on the clothes you have 
 bought for him by my order . 1 am very much mistaken if they will 
 not just fit him.' The salesman then, untying his bundle, showed 
 me a second-hand suit of dark cloth with silver buttons. I got up, 
 and got into it ; too big for me every way ! but these gentlemen 
 could have sworn it had been made to my measure. Ybagnez put 
 it at ten pistoles ; and as he was an upright, downright man, of 
 fixed principle and soul, estimating money as dross in comparison 
 of integrity, his first price was of course his last. He therefore took 
 out his purse, and counted down thirty pistoles upon a table ; after 
 which he packed up the King of Leon's regalia, and went his- 
 way, 
 
 " When he was gone, the bully said, ' I am very well satisfied 
 with that broker.' And so he well might be ; for I am certain he 
 must have received at least a hundred pistoles as hush-money. But 
 there was no reason why the broker's benevolence should pay the 
 debts of my gratitude : so he took half the money on the table, 
 without saying with your leave or by your leave, and suffered me to 
 pocket the remainder, with the following advice ,* ' My dear Scipio, 
 with that balance of fifteen pistoles, I would have you get out of 
 this town as fast as you can ; for you may suppose that my lord 
 archbishop will ferret you out if you are above ground It would 
 grieve me to the heart if, after having risen so superior to the pre- 
 judice of honesty, you had the weakness to fall foul of what alone 
 keeps it afloat the house of correction.' I answered that it was my 
 fixed purpose to make myself scarce at Seville, and accordingly, 
 after buying a hat and some shirts, I travelled through vineyards 
 and olive groves to the ancient city of Carmona ; and in three days 
 afterwards arrived at Cordova. 
 
 " I put up at an inn close by the market-place, giving myself out 
 for the heir of a good family at Toledo, travelling for his pleasure. 
 My appearance did not belie the story, and a few pistoles, which I 
 contrived carelessly to chink within the landlord's hearing, pinned 
 his faith upon my veracity. Probably my unfledged youth might 
 lead him to take me for some graceless little truant who had robbed 
 his parents and run away. But that was no concern of his : he 
 took the thing just a.s I gave it him, for fear lest his curiosity should 
 clash with my continuance at his house. For six reals a day one 
 could live like a gentleman at this inn, where there was generally 
 a considerable concourse of company. About a dozen people sat 
 down at supper. It was whimsical enough ; but the whole party
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 569 
 
 plied their knives and forks without speaking a word, except one 
 man, who talked incessantly, right or wrong, and made up for the 
 silence of the rest by his eternal babble. He affected to be a wit, 
 to tell a good story, and took great pains to make the good folks 
 merry by his puns ; and accordingly they did laugh most inex- 
 tinguishably ; but it was at him, not with him. 
 
 " For my part I paid so little attention to the talk of this rattle, 
 that I should have got up from table without knowing what it was 
 all about, if he had not brought it home to my business and my 
 bosom. 'Gentlemen,' cried he, just as supper was over, 'I have 
 kept my best story for the last ; a very droll thing happened within 
 these few days at the archbishop of Seville's palace. I had it from 
 a young fellow of my acquaintance, who assures me that he was 
 present at the time.' These words made my heart jump up into my 
 throat, for I had no doubt of this being my exploit; and so it 
 turned out. This pleasant gentleman related the facts as they 
 actually happened, and even carried the adventure to its conclusion, 
 of which I was as yet ignorant; but now you shall be made as wise 
 as myself. 
 
 " No sooner had I absconded, than the Moors, who were, accord- 
 ing to the progress of the fable and the rising of the interest, to lay 
 violent hands on me, appeared upon the stage, for the fell purpose 
 of surprising me on my bed of turf, where the author had given 
 them reason to expect me fast asleep ; but when they thought they 
 were just going to capot the King of Leon, they found, to their 
 surprise, that both the king and the knave made a trick against 
 them. Here was a hole in the ballad ! The actors all lost their 
 cue ; some of them called me by name, others ran to look for me : 
 here is a fellow bawling as though his bellows would burst, there 
 stands another muttering to himself about the devil, just as if that 
 reptile could stand upright in such a presence ! The archbishop, 
 perceiving trouble and confusion to lord it behind the scenes, asked 
 what was the matter. At the sound of the prelate's voice, a page, 
 who was the fiddle of the piece, came to the front and spoke thus : 
 ' My lord archbishop, ladies, and gentlemen ! We are extremely 
 sorry to inform you, as players, but extremely glad, as men and 
 Christians, that the King of Leon is at present in no danger what- 
 ever of being taken prisoner by the Moors : he has adopted effectual 
 measures for the security of his royal person ; and to the royal 
 person, as liberty avails little without property, he has irrevocably 
 attached the crown, insignia, and robes.' 'And a happy deliverance 
 for himself and Christendom !' exclaimed the archbishop. ' He has 
 done perfectly right to escape from the enemies of our religion, and 
 to burst from the bonds in which their malice would have laid him.
 
 570 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 By this time he has probably reached the confines of his kingdom,, 
 or may have entered the capital. May no unlucky accident have 
 retarded him on his journey! And that the sin of none such may 
 lie heavy on my conscience, I beg leave very positively to make my 
 pleasure known that he may proceed unmolested by any interrup- 
 tion from this quarter; I should be highly mortified, indeed, if his 
 majesty's pious endeavors were to be frustrated by the slightest in- 
 dignity from the ministers of that religion in whose cause he labors 
 and suffers.' The prelate, having thus declared his acquiescence in 
 the motives of my flight, ordered my part to be read, and the play 
 to be resumed. 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 CONTINUATION OF SCIPIO'S STOKY. 
 
 44 OIO long as I had money in my purse, my landlord was cap in 
 |O hand ; but the moment he began to suspect that the funds 
 were low, he became high and mighty, picked a German quarrel 
 with me, and one morning, before breakfast, begged it as a favor of 
 me to march out of his house. I followed his counsel as proudly as 
 you please, and betook me to a church belonging to the fathers of 
 St. Dominic, where, while mass was performing, an old beggar 
 accosted me on the usual topic of alms. I dropped some small 
 change into his hat, which was truly the orphan's mite, saying, at 
 the same time, ' My friend, remember in your prayers to mention a 
 situation for me ; if your petition is heard with favor, it shall be 
 all the better for you ; hearty thanks and a handsome poundage !' 
 
 "At these words, the beggar surveyed me up and down, from 
 head to foot, and answered, in a grave tone, ' What place would 
 you wish to have?' 'I should like,' replied I, 'to be a footman in 
 some family where I should do well.' He inquired whether the 
 matter pressed. 'With all possible importunity,' said I; 'for un- 
 less I have the good luck to get settled very soon, the alternative 
 will be horrible ; death by the gripe of absolute famine, or a liveli- 
 hood in the ranks of your fraternity.' ' If the latter were, after all, 
 to be your lot,' resumed he, ' it certainly would be rather hard upon 
 you, who have not been brought up to our habits of life ; but, with 
 a little use and practice, you would prefer our condition to service, 
 which, partiality apart, is far less respectable than the beggar'*
 
 ADVENTURES OP GIL BIAS. 571 
 
 vocation. Nevertheless, since you like a menial occupation better 
 than leading a free and independent life like me, you shall have a 
 berth without more ado. Mean as my appearance is, you must not 
 measure my power by it. Meet me here at the same hour to- 
 morrow.' 
 
 " I took care to keep the appointment. Though at the spot before 
 the time, I had not long to wait before the beggar joined me, and 
 told me to follow him. I did so. He led me to a cellar not far 
 from the church, where he resided. We went in together, and 
 sitting down on a long bench, at least a hundred years the worse 
 for wear, the conversation took this turn on his part: 'A good 
 action,' as the proverb says, ' always meets with its reward ; you 
 gave me alms yesterday, and that has determined me to get you a 
 place, which shall be soon done, with a blessing on my endeavors. 
 I know an old Dominican, by name Father Alexis, a holy monk, a 
 ghostly confessor. I have the honor to do all his little odd jobs, 
 performing my task with so much discretion and good faith, that 
 he always lends his interest to me and my friends. I have spoken 
 to him about you, and in such terms as to prepossess him in your 
 favor. You may be introduced to his reverence whenever you 
 please.' 
 
 "'There is not a moment to be lost,' said I to the old beggar; 
 ' let us go to the good monk immediately.' The mendicant agreed, 
 and led me by the arm to Father Alexis, whom he found in his 
 room, hard at work, writing spiritual letters. He broke off to talk 
 with me. As it was the wish of the mendicant, he would do all in 
 his power to serve me. ' Having learned,' pursued he, ' that Signor 
 Balthasar Velasquez is in want of a footboy, I wrote to him this 
 morning on your behalf, and he just sent me for answer, that he 
 would take you without further inquiry on my recommendation. 
 This very day you may call on him from me ; he is one of my flock, 
 and my very good friend.' Thereupon the monk preached to me 
 for three-quarters of an hour on my moral and religious duties, and 
 how to fulfill them in conscience and honor. He enlarged princi- 
 pally on the obligation of serving Velasquez with diligence and 
 devotion, and then assured me that he would take care and keep 
 me in my place, provided my master had no very material fault to 
 find with me. 
 
 "After having thanked the holy person for his goodness towards 
 me, I left the convent with the beggar, who told me that Signor 
 Balthasar Velasquez was an old woollen-draper, but with much 
 simplicity and good nature in his character. ' I doubt not,' added 
 he, ' but you will be perfectly comfortable in his house.' I begged 
 to know his place of residence, and repaired thither immediately,
 
 572 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 after promising to make my gratitude manifest as soon as I had 
 taken root in my new soil. I went into a large shop, where two 
 fashionable young apprentices were walking up and down, prac- 
 ticing new grimaces against the entrance of the next customer. I 
 inquired whether their master was at home, saying that I wanted 
 to speak with him from Father Alexis. At that venerable name 
 they showed me into the counting-house, where their principal was 
 turning over the ledger. I made a low bow, and coming up to him, 
 ' Sir,' said I, ' Father Alexis ordered me to call here and offer my- 
 self as a servant to your honor.' ' Ah ! my smart lad,' answered he, 
 'you are heartily welcome. It is enough that the holy man sent 
 you ; and I shall take you in preference to three or four others who 
 have been recommended. It is a clear case ; your wages begin from 
 this day.' 
 
 "A very short time in the family* convinced me that the head of 
 it was just such a man as he had been described. In point of sim- 
 plicity he was everything that could be wished ; so exquisite a 
 subject for imposition, that it seemed next to an impossibility not 
 to exercise my craft upon such a handle. He had been a widower 
 four years, and had two children, a son of five-and-twenty and a 
 daughter in her eleventh year. The girl, brought up by a severe 
 duenna, under the spiritual conduct of Father Alexis, walked in the 
 high road of virtue ; but her brother, Gaspard Velasquez, though no 
 pains had been spared to make a good man of him, picked out for 
 himself all the vices of a young profligate. Sometimes he staid 
 away from home two or three days together ; and if, on his return, 
 his father ventured to remonstrate in the least against his proceed- 
 ings, Gaspard shut his mouth at once, with a haughty toss of the 
 head and an impertinent answer. 
 
 " ' Scipio,' said the old man one day, ' my son is the plague of my 
 life. He is over head and ears in all kinds of debauchery : and yet 
 there is no accounting for it, since his education was by no means 
 neglected. I have given him the. very best masters , and my friend 
 Father Alexis has done his utmost to train him up in the way he 
 should go ; but there was no breaking him in ; Master Gaspard ran 
 restive, and bolted into downright libertinism. You may perhaps 
 tell me that I spared the rod and spoiled the child. Quite other- 
 wise ! he was punished whenever the occasion seemed to demand 
 it; for, though good-tempered at bottom, I am not to be played 
 upon. I have even gone so far as to lock him up ; but that only 
 made him more headstrong than before. In short, he is one of 
 those impracticable beings on whom good example, good advice, 
 and a good horsewhip, are equally thrown away. If ever he 
 makes any figure in the world, it must be by a miracle from heaven.'
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 573 
 
 " Though' my heart was not grievously wrung by the sorrows of 
 this unhappy father, sympathy was expected from me, and I con- 
 doled with him accordingly. ' How much to be pitied you are, sir!' 
 said I. ' Virtues like yours deserve to have been handed down in 
 your progeny.' ' The event is quite the reverse, my good lad,' an- 
 swered he. 'Heaven heard my prayer, and gave me a son, but 
 converted the blessing into an affliction. Among other grounds of 
 complaint against Gaspard, I may tell you, in confidence, there is 
 one which gives me a great deal of uneasiness a vast longing to rob 
 his old father, which he too often finds the means of satisfying, in 
 spite of all my caution. Your predecessor played into his hands, 
 and was turned away in consequence. As for you, I flatter myself 
 that my son will never be able to tamper with your honesty. You 
 will take my side of the question ; for doubtless Father Alexis has 
 given you your lesson on that head.' ' You may rest assured of 
 that,' said I : ' for a good long hour did his reverence lecture me 
 on doing your will and pleasure without let or hinderance ; but I 
 can assure you there was no need of his saying anything about the 
 matter. I feel within myself a sort of call to serve you faithfully, 
 and I promise to do it with a zeal beyond all the temptations of the 
 world to shake or lessen.' 
 
 " He who only hears one side is in danger of deciding partially. 
 Young Velasquez, a mixture of the fribble and the braggart, con- 
 cluding from the cut of my countenance that I was made up of 
 mortal frailty, like my predecessor, drew me aside to a snug corner, 
 and there talked to me after this fashion : ' Now, mind what is said 
 to you, my dear fellow ; you may think I do not know that you are 
 set as a spy upon me by my father; but take especial care how you 
 proceed, for I can assure you most sincerely that the office is not 
 without very considerable inconvenience to those who undertake it. 
 If ever I find that you tell tales out of school, I will give you such 
 a basting as you never had in your life ; but if you will make com- 
 mon cause with me, and a fool of my father, you may buy golden 
 returns of gratitude from your humble servant. Do you wish me to 
 deal with you upon the nail ? You shall go snacks in all that we 
 can squeeze out of the old fellow. You have only to take your 
 choice ; fall at once into the ranks of either father or son ; for 
 neutrals will come worst off, where the contending parties fight for 
 their existence.' 
 
 "'Sir,' answered I, 'you make the shoe pinch very tight ; it is 
 self-evident that there is nothing for me to do but to enlist under 
 your banners, though in my conscience it seems like a crying sin to 
 betray Signer Velasquez.' ' That is no concern of yours,' rejoined 
 Gaspard; 'he is an old hunks, who wants to keep me under hia
 
 574 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 thumb ; a curmudgeon, who refuses me the rights of nature, in re- 
 fusing to stand to the expenses and repairs of my pleasures for 
 pleasures are the necessaries of life at five-and- twenty. It is in 
 this point of view that you must form your opinion of my father.' 
 ' If that is the case, so be it, sir/ said I ; ' there is no standing 
 against so just a subject of complaint. I am quite at your service 
 to play second fiddle in all your laudable enterprises ; but let us 
 take especial care to conceal our good understanding, for fear your 
 faithful, humble servant should be kicked out of doors. It will not 
 be amiss, in my poor opinion, for you to affect an extreme antipathy 
 against me : some good round of abuse would have a very pretty 
 effect ; you need not be nice ; all the blackguard terms in the dic- 
 tionary will come at your call. Nay, a box on the ear now and 
 then, or a kick in the breech, will break no squares; on the con- 
 trary, the more you express your thorough dislike, the more Signor 
 Balthasar will pin his faith upon my sleeve. My cue will be, ap- 
 parently, to avoid speaking to you if possible. In waiting at table, 
 I shall perform my little attentions to you at arm's length ; and 
 whenever your honor may happen to be called over the coals by 
 the shopmen, you must not take it amiss if I abuse you worse than 
 a pickpocket.' 
 
 " ' As plain as chalk from cheese !' cried young Velasquez, at this 
 last hint ; ' this is admirable, my friend ; at your early age it is uncom- 
 mon to meet with such a talent for intrigue; I consider it as a most 
 happy omen for my purpose. With such a performer to play up to 
 me, I flatter myself the old codger will be pinched to the bone and 
 left penniless.' ' You really carry your good opinion of me beyond 
 what my merit will justify,' said I ; 'some industry may fall to my 
 share, but not such exalted genius. But I shall do my utmost, and 
 if my honest endeavors fail, your candor must find excuses for my 
 imbecility.' 
 
 " It was not long before Gaspard had proof positive that I was to 
 a hair's-breadth the very man he wanted ; and the following was 
 precisely the first trick I played into his hand. Balthasar's strong 
 box was in the good man's chamber, by his bedside, a sort of oratory, 
 with a prayer-book always lying upon it. Every time I looked that 
 way, my eyes glistened with hope and pleasure ; my heart chuckled 
 over the very idea of what might happen. ' Fair, sweet, cruel box, 
 will you forever be coy to my addresses ? May I never experience 
 the heartfelt delight of possessing all your charms for better, for 
 worse ?' As I went into the room at pleasure, and only Gaspard 
 was warned off the premises, it happened one day that I watched 
 his father. The old gentleman, fancying himself unobserved of 
 human eye, after having opened his treasury and closed it fast
 
 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 575 
 
 again, hid the key behind the hangings. I took an accurate obser- 
 vation of the place, and communicated the discovery to my young 
 master, who said, with an improving hug, 'Ah, my dear Scipio, 
 what glorious news you bring ! Our fortune is made, my dear fel- 
 low. I will furnish you with wax ; you shall take the impression of 
 the key, and then our business is done. There will be no difficulty 
 in finding a benevolent locksmith in Cordova, where, to do the 
 place justice, there are as many rogues as in any part of Spain.' 
 
 " ' Well, but why,' said I to Gaspard, ' do you want a false key ? 
 We may find our account in the proper one.' ' Yes,' answered he ; 
 ' but I am afraid lest my father, through mistrust or whim, should 
 take a fancy to hiding it elsewhere, and the safest way is to have 
 one of our own.' I commended his precaution, and falling in with, 
 all his principles, got ready for taking the impression of the key ; 
 this was effected one morning early, while my old master was pay- 
 ing a visit to Father Alexis, with whom he for the most part held 
 very long conferences. I did not stop here, but availed myself of 
 the key to open the strong box, wherein an ample range of large and 
 small bags threw me into the most delightful perplexity imaginable. 
 I did not know which to choose, there was such a family likeness 
 among them ; nevertheless, as the fear of being caught did not 
 allow of any long deliberation, I laid hands hap-hazard on the 
 largest. Then, locking the box carefully, and putting the key back 
 again behind the hangings, I got away out of the chamber with my 
 booty, and hid it under my bed, in a small closet where I lay. 
 
 "Having performed this exploit so successfully, I ran back as 
 fast as my legs would carry me to young Velasquez, who was wait- 
 ing at a house where he had given me notice to meet him, and his 
 delight was extreme at the recital of what I had just done. He was 
 so fully satisfied with me as to lavish caresses without number, and 
 to offer me thrice, in the fullness of his heart, half the contents of 
 the bag, which I did thrice refuse. 'No, no, sir,' said I ; 'this first 
 bag is yours, and yours only ; apply it to your own uses and occa- 
 sions. I shall return forthwith to the strong box, where, as our 
 lucky stars have contrived it, there is money enough for both of us.' 
 Accordingly, three days afterwards I carried off a second bag, con- 
 taining, like the first, five hundred crowns, of which I would only 
 handle the fourth part, let Gaspard be as pressing as he pleased to 
 force upon me a brotherly division, share and share alike. 
 
 " As soon as this young man found himself so flush of money, 
 and consequently in a condition to gratify his hankering after 
 women and play, he gave himself up entirely to the devices of his 
 own imagination ; nay, his evil genius pursued him so far as to 
 make him fall desperately in love with one of those female harpies
 
 576 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 who devour without remorse or intermission, and swallow up the 
 largest fortunes. His disbursements at her instigation were fright- 
 ful, and thus it became necessary for me to pay so many visits to the 
 strong box that old Velasquez at length found out that he had been 
 robbed. ' Scipio,' said he one morning, ' I must give you a piece of 
 information ; some one robs me, my friend ; my strong box has been 
 opened ; several bags have been taken put : that is a certain fact. 
 Whom ought I to accuse of this theft? or, rather, who else but my 
 son can have committed it ? Gaspard must have got by stealth into 
 my chamber, or else you yourself must have played booty with him, 
 for I am tempted to believe that you are in league with him, though 
 to outward appearance you do not set up your horses together. And 
 yet I am unwilling to harbor that suspicion, because Father Alexis 
 undertook to answer for your honesty.' I gave him to understand 
 that, by the blessing of Heaven on a good natural disposition, my 
 neighbors' goods had no temptation in my sight ; and I so happily 
 suited the action to the lie, and the lie to the action, that my judge 
 pronounced a verdict of acquittal on the evidence of grimace and 
 hypocrisy. 
 
 " Accordingly the old man dropped the subject ; but for all that, 
 there was a general misgiving jn his breast, and it would sometimes 
 light upon me. Taking precautions, therefore, against our further 
 attacks, he had a new lock put to his strong box, and always carried 
 the key in his pocket. By these, means, an embargo being laid on 
 our traffic with the bags, we looked excessively foolish, especially 
 Gaspard, who, being unable any longer to keep his nymph in her 
 usual style, knew very well that he was likely to be tossed out of 
 her window. He had, however, invention enough to devise an ex- 
 pedient for keeping his head above water a few days longer, and 
 that was neither more nor less than to get into his clutchas, in the 
 form of a loan, my dividend on the joint stock of the strong box. I 
 refunded to the last farthing ; and this restitution, it is to be hoped, 
 may be set off as an anticipated act of justice to the old draper, in 
 the person of his heir. 
 
 "The young man, having exhausted this scanty supply, and 
 desperate of any other, fell into a deep melancholy, and into ulti- 
 mate derangement. He no longer looked on his father in any 
 other light than as the bane of his life. His frenzy broke out into 
 the most dreadful projects ; so that, without listening to the voice 
 of consanguinity or nature, the wretch conceived the impious design 
 of poisoning him. He was not content with making me privy to 
 the atrocious design, but even proposed to render me the instru- 
 ment of parricide. At the very thought, my blood ran cold within 
 me. ' Sir/ said I, ' is it possible that you are so rejected of Heaven
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 577 
 
 as to have formed this horrid plot? What! is it in your nature to 
 murder the author of your existence? Shall Spain, the favored 
 abode of the Christian faith, bear witness to the commission of a 
 crime at the first blush of which transatlantic savages would recoil 
 with horror? No, my dear master/ added I, throwing myself on 
 my knees, ' np, you will not be guilty of an action which would 
 raise the hand of all mankind against you, and be overtaken by an 
 infamous punishment.' 
 
 "I pressed many arguments beside on Gaspard, to dissuade him 
 from so fearful an enterprise. How the deuce I came by all the 
 moral and religious topics which I brought to act against the 
 fortress of his despair, is more than I can account for ; but it is 
 certain that I preached like a doctor of Salamanca, though a mere 
 stripling, born of a gypsy fortune-teller. And yet it was to no 
 purpose that I suggested the duty of communing with his own 
 better resolutions, and stoutly wrestling with the fiend who was 
 lying in wait for his immortal soul ; my pious eloquence was dissi- 
 pated into air. His head hung sullenly on his bosom, and his 
 tongue uttered no sound, in answer to all my mollifying exhorta- 
 tions, so that there was every reason to conclude that he would not 
 swerve from his purpose. 
 
 "Hereupon, taking my own measures, I requested a private 
 interview with my old master; and being closeted with him, 'Sir,' 
 said I, 'allow me to throw myself at your feet, and to implore your 
 pity.' In pathetic accord with my moving accents, I prostrated 
 myself before him, with my face all bathed in tears. The merchant, 
 surprised at what he saw and heard, asked the cause of my distress. 
 ' Remorse of conscience and repentance,' answered I ; ' but neither 
 repentance nor remorse can ever wash out my guilt. I have been 
 weak enough to give ear to your son, and to be his accomplice 
 in robbing you.' To this confession I added a sincere acknowl- 
 edgment of all that had happened, with the particulars of my late 
 conversation with Gaspard, whose design I laid open without the 
 least reserve. 
 
 " Bad as was the opinion which old Velasquez entertained of his 
 on, he could scarcely believe his ears. Nevertheless, finding no 
 good reason to distrust the truth of my account, ' Scipio,' said he, 
 raising me from the ground, where I had till now been prostrate at 
 his feet, ' I forgive you in consideration of the important notice you 
 have communicated. Gaspard !' pursued he, raising his voice up 
 to the loudness of anguish, 'does Gaspard aim a blow at my life? 
 Ah! ungrateful son, unnatural monster! better thou hadst never 
 been born, or stifled at thy birth, than to have been reared for the 
 destruction of thy father ! What plea, what object, what palliation 
 37
 
 578 ADVENTURES OF GIL VLAS. 
 
 of the atrocious deed ? I furnished thee annually with a reason- 
 able allowance for thy pleasures, and what wouldst thou have 
 more? Must I have drained my fortune to the dregs to support 
 thee in thy extravagance?' Having vented his feelings in this 
 bitter apostrophe, he enjoined secrecy on me, and told me to leave 
 him alone, while he considered how to act in so delicate a con- 
 juncture. 
 
 " I was very anxious to know what resolution this unhappy 
 father would take, when on that very day he sent for Gaspard, and 
 addressed him thus, without betraying the inward emotions of his 
 heart : ' My son, I have received a letter from Merida, purporting 
 that if you are disposed to marry, you may make a match with a 
 very fine girl of fifteen, with a handsome fortune in her pocket. If 
 you have not forsworn that happy and holy estate, we will set out 
 to-morrow morning by daybreak for Merida . you will see the lady 
 in question, and if she hits your fancy, the business may soon be 
 settled.' Gaspard, pricking up his ears at a handsome fortune, and 
 already fingering the cash by anticipation, answered unhesitatingly 
 that he was ready to undertake the journey ; and accordingly they 
 departed the following day at sunrise, without attendants, mounted 
 on good mules. 
 
 " Having reached the mountains of Fesira, in a delightful spot 
 for the operations of banditti, but terror-stirring to the timid souls 
 of travellers, Balthasar dismounted, and desired his son to do like- 
 wise. The young man obeyed, but expressed his surprise at such 
 a requisition in so lonely a place. 'I will tell you the reason 
 presently,' answered the old man, darting at him a look of mingled 
 grief and anger : ' we are not going to Merida ; and the alleged 
 courtship was only an invention of mine, for the purpose of drawing 
 you hither. I am not ignorant, ungrateful and unnatural son, I am 
 not uninformed of your meditated crime. I am aware that a poison, 
 prepared by your hands, was to have been administered to me ; but 
 mad as you are, could it enter into your contemplation that my life 
 could have been invaded with impunity by such means? How 
 fatally mistaken ! Your crime would soon have been detected, and 
 you would have perished under the hands of the executioner.- 
 There is a safer way of glutting your fell malice without exposing 
 yourself to an ignominious death ; we are here without witnesses, 
 and in a place where daily murders are perpetrated ; since you are 
 so thirsty after my blood, plunge your dagger into my bosom : the 
 assassination will naturally be laid at the door of some banditti.' 
 After these words, Balthasar, laying his breast bare, and pointing 
 to his heart, ended with this challenge: 'Here, Gaspard, strike 
 deep enough, strike home ; make me pay that forfeit for having en-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 579 
 
 gendered such a disgrace to human nature, and no more than what 
 is due to so monstrous a production.' 
 
 " Young Velasquez, struck by his reproach as by a thunderbolt, 
 far from pleading in his own justification, fell instantly lifeless at 
 his father's feet. The good old man, hailing the germ of repentance 
 in this unfeigned testimony of shame, could not help yielding to 
 paternal weakness ; he made all possible haste to give his assist- 
 ance ; but Gaspard had no sooner recovered the use of his senses, 
 than, unable to stand in the presence of a father so justly oifended, 
 he made an effort to raise himself from the ground, then sprang 
 upon his mule, and galloped out of sight without saying one word. 
 Balthasar suffered him to take his own course, and returned to Cor- 
 dova, little doubting but conscience would play its part in revenging 
 his wrongs. Six months afterwards it appeared that the culprit 
 had thrown himself into the Carthusian convent at Seville, there to 
 pass the remnant of his days in penance. 
 
 CHAPTEE 
 
 CONCLUSION OF SCIPIO'S STORY. 
 
 " ~T) AD example sometimes produces the converse of itself. The 
 JL_) behavior of young Velasquez made me think seriously of 
 my own predicament. I began to wrestle with my thievish propen- 
 sities, and to live like one of the better sort. A confirmed habit of 
 pouncing upon money wherever I could get it had been contracted 
 by such a long succession of individual acts that it was no easy 
 matter to say where it should stop. And yet I was in hopes to 
 accomplish my own reformation, under the idea that to become 
 virtuous, a man had nothing to do but to contract the desire of 
 being so. I therefore undertook this great work, and Heaven 
 seemed to smile upon my efforts. I left off eyeing the old draper's 
 strong box with the carnal regard of avaricious longing: nay, I 
 verily believe that, if it had depended on my own will and pleasure 
 to have turned over the contents to my own use, I should have 
 abstained from the crime of picking and stealing. It must, how- 
 ever, be admitted that it would have been an unadvisable measure 
 to tempt my new-born integrity with meats too strong for its sto- 
 mach ; and Velasquez was nurse enough to keep me on a proper 
 diet.
 
 580 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 " Don Manriquez de Medrano, a young gentleman, knight of 
 Alcantara, was in the habit of coming backwards and forwards to 
 our house. He was a customer, one of our principal in point of 
 rank, if not punctual in point of pay. I had the happiness to find 
 favor with this knight, who never met me without that sort of 
 notice which encouraged conversation, and with that conversation 
 he appeared always to be very much pleased. 'Scipio,' said ho, 
 one day, ' if I had a footman of your kidney, it would be as good 
 as a fortune to me ; and if you were not in the service of a man 
 who stands so high in my regards, I should make no scruple about 
 enticing you away.' ' Sir,' answered I, ' you would have very little 
 trouble in succeeding ; for I am distractedly partial to people of 
 fashion ; it is my weak side ; their free and easy manners fascinate 
 me to the extreme of folly.' ' That being the case,' replied Don 
 Manriquez, ' I will at once beg Signor Balthasar to turn you over 
 from his household to mine : he will scarcely refuse me such a re- 
 quest.' Accordingly Velasquez was kind and complying, with so 
 much the less violence to his own private feelings, as there seemed 
 no reason to think that if a man parted with one knavish servant, 
 he might not easily get another in his place. To me the change 
 was all for the better, since a tradesman's service appeared but a 
 beggarly condition in comparison with the office of own man to a 
 knight of Alcantara. 
 
 " To draw a faithful likeness of my new master, I must describe 
 him as a gentleman possessing every requisite of person, figure, 
 manners, and disposition. Nor was that all ; for his courage and 
 honor were equal to his other qualities : the goods of fortune were 
 the only good things he wanted ; but being the younger son of a 
 family more distinguished by descent than opulence, he was obliged 
 to draw for his expenses on an old aunt living at Toledo, who loved 
 him as her own child, and administered to his occasions with affec- 
 tionate liberality. He was always well dressed, and everywhere 
 well received. He visited the principal ladies in the city, and 
 among others the Marchioness of Almenara. She was a widow of 
 seventy-two, but the centre of attraction to all the fashionable 
 society of Cordova, by the elegance of her manners and the spright- 
 liness of her conversation : men as well as women laid themselves 
 out for an introduction, because her parties conferred at once on 
 the frequenters the patent of good company. 
 
 "My master was one of that lady's most assiduous courtiers. 
 After leaving her one evening, his apirits seemed to be more ele- 
 vated than was natural to him. 'Sir,' said I, 'you are evidently in 
 a good deal of agitation ; may your faithful servant ask on what 
 account ? Has anything happened out of the common way ?' The
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 581 
 
 young gallant smiled at so home a question, and owned candidly 
 that he had just been engaged in a serious conversation with the 
 Marchioness of Almenara. ' I will lay a wager/ said I, laughing 
 outright, ' that this moppet of threescore and ten, this girl in her 
 second childhood, has been unfolding to you all the secret move- 
 ments of a tender, susceptible heart.' ' Do not make a jest of it,' 
 answered he ; ' for the fact is, my friend, that the marchioness is 
 seriously in love with me. She told me that the narrowness of my 
 circumstances was as well known to her as the nobility of my birth ; 
 that she had taken a liking to me, and was determined to place me 
 at my ease by marriage, since she could not decently lay her fortune 
 at my feet on any other terms. That this marriage would expose 
 her to public ridicule, she professed to have considered ; that scandal 
 would be busy at her expense ; in short, that she should pass for an 
 old fool with an ambitious eye and a lickerish constitution. No 
 matter for that ! She was not to be awed from the career of her 
 humor by quips and sentences : her only alarm was, lest I should 
 either make sport of her intentions, or torment her more grievously 
 by my aversion. 
 
 " ' Such,' continued the knight, ' was the substance of the mar- 
 chioness's declaration, and I am the more astonished at it because 
 she is the most prudent and sensible woman in Cordova ; wherefore 
 I answered by expressing my surprise at her honoring me with the 
 offer of her hand, since she had hitherto persisted in her resolution of 
 remaining in a state of widowhood. To this she replied that, having 
 a considerable fortune, it would give her pleasure to share it in her 
 lifetime with a man of honor to whom she was attached.' ' To all 
 appearance, then,' rejoined I, ' you have made up your mind to take 
 a lover's leap.' 'Can you doubt about that?' answered he. 'The 
 marchioness is immensely rich, with excellent qualities both of 
 head and heart. It would be the extreme of folly and fastidious- 
 ness to let so advantageous a settlement slip through my fingers.' 
 
 "I entirely approved my master's purpose of profiting by so fine 
 an opportunity to make his fortune, and even advised him to bring 
 the matter to a short issue, for fear of a change in the wind. Hap- 
 pily the lady had the business more at heart than myself; her 
 orders were given so effectually that the necessary forms and cere- 
 monies were soon got over. When it became known in Cordova 
 that the old Marchioness of Almenara was getting herself ready to 
 be the bride of young Don Manriquez de Medrano, the wits began 
 breaking their odd quirks and remnants in derision of the widow ; 
 but though she heard her own detractions, she did not put them to 
 mending; the town might talk as they pleased; for when she said 
 she would die a widow, she did not think to live till she were mar-
 
 582 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 ried. The wedding was solemnized with a publicity and splendor 
 which furnished fresh food for evil tongues. ' The bride,' said they, 
 ' might at least have had the modesty to dispense with noise and 
 ostentation, so unbecoming in an old widow who marries a young 
 husband.' 
 
 "The marchioness, far enough from yielding to the suggestions of 
 shame at her own inconsistency, or the disparity of their ages, 
 yielded herself up without constraint to the expression of the most 
 lively joy. She gave a grand concert and supper, with a ball after- 
 wards, and invited all the principal families in Cordova. Just 
 before the close of the ball, the new-married couple disappeared, 
 and were shown to an apartment, where, with no other witnesses 
 but her own maid and myself, she spoke to my master in these 
 terms : ' Don Manriquez, this is your apartment ; mine is in another 
 part of the house : we will pass the night in separate rooms, and 
 will live together by day like mother and son.' At first the knight 
 did not know what to make of this ; he thought that the lady was 
 only trying his temper, as if her coldness must be wooed to kindness, 
 and her love, like her pardon, not unsought, be won. Imagining, 
 therefore, that good manners required, at least, the show of passion, 
 he made his advances, and offered, according to the laws of amorous 
 suit enacted in such cases, to assist in the disencumbering duties of 
 her toilet ; but, so far from allowing him to interfere with the pro- 
 vince of her servant, she pushed him back with a serious air, saying, 
 'Hold, Don Manriquez; if you take me "for one of those sweet- 
 toothed old women who marry a second time from mere incontinence 
 you do me a manifest injustice : my proposals were not fraught with 
 conditions of hard service as the tenure of our nuptial contract ; the 
 gift of my heart was unmixed with sensual dross, and your gratitude 
 is only drawn upon for returns of pure and platonic friendship.' 
 After this explanation, she left my master and me in our apartment 
 and withdrew to her own with her attendant, forbidding the bride- 
 groom, in the most positive manner, to attempt retiring with her. 
 
 " After her departure, it was some time before we recovered from 
 our surprise at what we had just heard. ' Scipio,' said my master, 
 ' could you ever have believed that the marchioness would have 
 talked in such a strain ? What think you of so philosophic a bride?' 
 'I think, sir,' answered I, 'that she is a phoenix among the brood of 
 hymen. It is for all the world like a good living without parochial 
 duties.' ' For my part,' replied Don Manriquez, ' there is nothing 
 so much to my taste as a wife of modest pretensions ; and I mean to 
 make her amends for the trophy she has raised to unadulterated 
 esteem by all the delicate attentions in my power to pay.' We kept 
 up the subject of the lady's moderation till it was full time to sepa-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 583 
 
 rate. My quarters were fixed in an ante-room with a bookcase bed- 
 stead ; my master's in an elegant bed-chamber with every appurte- 
 nance except one : but however necessary it might be to play the 
 disappointed bridegroom, I am much mistaken if in the bottom of 
 his soul he was half so much afraid of,sleeping by himself as of being 
 encumbered with a bedfellow. 
 
 "The rejoicings began again on the following day, and the bride 
 was so jocund on the occasion that the bolts of the fools among her 
 visitors were not soon shot. She was the first to laugh at all their 
 pointless jokes ; nay, she even set the little wits to work, by giving 
 them an example of pleasantry, which they were very little able to 
 follow. The happy man, on his part, seemed to be little less happy 
 than his partner ; and one would have sworn, judging by the glance 
 of satisfaction which accompanied his language and deportment, 
 that he liked mutton better than lamb. This well-matched pair 
 had a second conversation in the evening ; and then it was decided 
 that, without interfering in the least with one another, they should 
 live together just on the same footing as they had lived before mar- 
 riage. At all events, much credit must be given to Don Manriquez 
 on one account : he did, from delicate consideration towards his 
 wife, what few husbands would have done under his circumstances, 
 for he discarded a little seamstress of whom he was very fond, and 
 who was very fond of him, because he did not choose to keep up a 
 connection insulting to the feelings of a lady so studious of his. 
 
 " While he was furnishing such unusual testimonies of gratitude 
 to his elderly benefactress, she overpaid and doubly paid her debt 
 of obligation, even without diving into its nature or extent. She 
 gave him the master key of her strong box, which was better pro- 
 vided than that of Velasquez. Though she had reduced her estab- 
 lishment during widowhood, it was now replaced upon the same 
 footing as in the lifetime of her first husband ; the complement of 
 household servants was enlarged ; the stud and equipages were in 
 the very first style ; in a word, by her generosity and kindness, the 
 most beggarly knight belonging to the order of Alcantara became 
 the most moneyed member of the fraternity. You may perhaps be 
 disposed to ask me how much I was in pocket by all that ; and my 
 answer is, fifty pistoles from my mistress, and a hundred from my 
 master, who, moreover, appointed me his secretary, with a salary of 
 four hundred crowns ; nay, his confidence was so unbounded, that I 
 was fixed on to fill the office of treasurer." 
 
 " Treasurer I" cried I, interrupting Scipio at the very idea, and 
 bursting into an immoderate fit of laughter. " Yes, sir," replied he, 
 with a cool, unflinching seriousness; "you are perfectly right 
 treasurer was the word ; and I may venture to say that the duties
 
 584 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 of the office were executed without the slightest occasion for a com- 
 mittee of inquiry. True it is that the balance may be somewhat 
 against me, for I was always in the habit of overdrawing my wages; 
 and as the firm was dissolved somewhat suddenly, it is by no means 
 impossible that the balance of my cash account might be on the 
 wrong side ; but, at all events, it was my last slip ; and since that 
 time my ways have been ways of uprightness and honesty. 
 
 "Thus was I," continued this son of a gypsy, "secretary and 
 treasurer to Don Manriquez, who, to all appearance, was as happy 
 in me as I in him, when he received a letter from Toledo, announc- 
 ing that his aunt, Donna Theodora Moscoso, was on her last legs. 
 He was so much affected by the news as to set out instantly and pay 
 his duty to that lady, who had been more than a mother to him for 
 several years. I attended him on the journey with only two under- 
 servants ; we were all mounted on the best horses in the stable, and 
 reached Toledo without loss of time, where we found Donna Theo- 
 dora in a state to warrant our hopes that she would not at present 
 weigh anchor on her outward-bound voyage; and, in fact, our judg- 
 ment on her case, though point blank in contradiction to that of an 
 old physician who attended her, proved by the event that we knew 
 at least as much of the matter as he did. 
 
 " While the health of our venerable relative was improving from 
 day to day, less, perhaps, from the effect of the prescriptions than in 
 consequence of her dear nephew's presence, your worthy friend the 
 treasurer passed his time in the pleasantest manner possible, with 
 some young people whose acquaintance was admirably calculated 
 to ventilate the confined cash in his pocket. Sometimes they en- 
 ticed me to the tennis-court, and took me in for a game : on those 
 occasions, not being quite so steady a player as my master Don Abel, 
 I lost much oftener than I won. By degrees play became a passion 
 with me; and if the taste had been suffered to gain complete pos- 
 session, it would doubtless have laid me under the necessity of 
 drawing bills of accommodation on the family bank ; but happily 
 love stepped in, and saved the credit both of the bank and my prin- 
 ciples. One day, passing along near the church of the Epiphany, I 
 espied, through a lattice with the drapery drawn up, a young girl, 
 who might well be called a thing divine, for nothing natural was 
 ever seen so lovely. I would lay on my compliment still thicker, 
 if words were not wanting to express the effect of her first appear- 
 ance upon my mind. I set my wits to work, and by dint of diligent 
 inquiry, learned that her name was Beatrice, and that she was 
 waiting-maid to Donna Julia, younger daughter of the Count de 
 Polan." 
 
 Beatrice broke in upon the thread of Scipio's story by laughing
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 585 
 
 immoderately ; then, directing her speech to my wife, " Charming 
 Antonia," said she, "do but just look at me, I beseech you, and then 
 say truly whether I could be likened to a thing divine." " You 
 might at that time, to my enamored sight," said Scipio ; " and, since 
 your conjugal faith is no longer under a cloud, my visual appetite 
 increases by what it feeds on." It was a pretty compliment; 
 and my secretary, having fired it off, pursued his narrative as fol- 
 lows : 
 
 " This intelligence kindled the flame of passion within me; but 
 not, it must be confessed, a flame which could be acknowledged 
 without a blush. I took it for granted that my triumph over her 
 scruples would be easy, if my biddings were high enough to com- 
 mand the ordinary market of female chastity ; but Beatrice was a 
 pearl beyond price. In vain did I solicit her, through the channel 
 of some intriguing gossips, with the offer of my purse and of my 
 most tender attentions ; she rejected all my proposals with disdain. 
 I had recourse to the lover's last remedy, and offered her my hand, 
 which she deigned to accept on the strength of my being secretary 
 and treasurer to Don Manriquez. As it seemed expedient to keep 
 our marriage secret for some time, the ceremony was performed 
 privately, in presence of Dame Lorenza Sephora, Seraphina's gov- 
 erness, and before some others of the Count de Polan's household. 
 After our happy union, Beatrice contrived the means of our meeting 
 by day, and passing some part of every night together in the gar- 
 den, whither I repaired through a little gate of which she gave me 
 a key. Never were man and wife better pleased with each other 
 than Beatrice and myself: with equal impatience did we watch for 
 the hour of our appointment ; with congenial emotions of eager 
 sensibility did we hasten to the spot, and the moments which we 
 passed together, though countless from their number in the calendar 
 of cold indifference, to us were few and fleeting, in comparison with 
 that eternity of mutual bliss for which we panted. 
 
 " One night a night which should be expunged from the alma- 
 nac a night of darkness and despair, contrasted with the bright- 
 ness of all our former nights, I was surprised on approaching the 
 garden to find the little gate open. This unusual circumstance 
 alarmed me, for it seemed to augur something inauspicious to my 
 happiness. I turned pale and trembled, as if with a foreknowledge 
 of what was going to happen. Advancing in the dark towards a 
 bower where our private meetings had usually taken place, I heard 
 a man's voice. I stopped on the instant to listen, when the follow- 
 ing words struck like the sound of death upon my ear: 'Do not 
 keep me languishing in suspense, my dear Beatrice ; make my hap- 
 piness complete, and consider that your own fortunes are closely
 
 686 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 connected with mine.' Instead of having patience to hear further, 
 it seemed as if more had been said than blood could expiate ; that 
 devil jealousy took possession of my soul ; I drew my sword, and, 
 breathing vengeance, rushed into the bower. ' Ah, base seducer !' 
 cried I, ' whoever you are, you shall tear this heart from out my 
 breast rather than touch my honor on its tenderest point.' With these 
 words on my lips, I attacked the gentleman who was talking with 
 Beatrice. He stood upon his guard without more ado, like a man 
 much better acquainted with the science of arms than myself, who 
 had only received a few lessons from a fencing-master at Cordova. 
 And yet, strong as his sword-arm was, I made a thrust which he 
 could not parry, or what is more likely, his foot slipped. I saw him 
 fall, and, fancying that I had wounded him mortally, ran away as 
 hard as my legs would carry me, without deigning to answer Bea- 
 trice, who would have called me back." 
 
 "Yes, indeed 1" said Scipio's wife, resolved to have her share in 
 the development of the story ; " I called out for the purpose of 
 undeceiving him. The gentleman conversing with me in the arbor 
 was Don Ferdinand de Leyva. This nobleman, who was in love 
 with my mistress, Julia, had laid a plan for running away with her, 
 from despair of being able to obtain her hand by any other means, 
 and I had myself made this assignation with him in the garden, to 
 concert measures for the elopement, and with his fortune he assured 
 me that my own was closely linked ; but it was in vain that I 
 screamed after my husband : he darted from me as if my very touch 
 were contamination." 
 
 " In such a state of mind," resumed Scipio, " I was incapable of 
 anything. Those who know by experience what jealousy is, into 
 what extravagance it drives the best regulated spirits, will be at no 
 loss to conceive the disorder it must have produced in my weak 
 brain. I passed in a moment from one extreme to another : emo- 
 tions of hatred succeeded instantaneously to all my former senti- 
 ments of affection for my wife. I took an oath never to see her 
 more, and to banish her forever from my memory. Besides, the 
 supposed death of a man lay upon my conscience, and, under that 
 idea, I was afraid of falling into the hands of justice ; so that every 
 torment which could be accumulated on the head of guilt and misery, 
 by the fury of despair and the demon of remorse, was the remedi- 
 less companion of my wretched flight. In this dreadful situation, 
 thinking only of my escape, I returned home no more, but imme- 
 diately quitted Toledo, with no other provision for my journey but 
 the clothes on my back. It is true I had about sixty pistoles in my 
 pocket a tolerable supply for a young man whose views in life 
 pointed no higher than a good service.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 587 
 
 " I walked forward all night, or rather ran, for the phantom of an 
 alguazil always dogging me at the heels made me perform wonderc 
 of pedestrian activity. The dawn overtook me between Rodillas 
 and Maqueda. When I was at the latter town, finding myself a 
 little weary, I went into the church which was just opened, and 
 having put up a short prayer, eat down on a bench to rest. I began 
 musing on the state of my affairs, which were sufficiently out at 
 elbows to require all my skill in patchwork ; but the time for reflec- 
 tion, as well as for repentance, was cut short. The church echoed 
 on a sudden with three or four smacks of a whip, which made me 
 conclude that some carrier was on the foad. I immediately got up 
 to go and see whether I was right, or wrong. At the door I found a 
 man mounted on a mule, leading two others by the halter. 'Stop, 
 my friend,' said I ; ' whither are those two mules going ?' ' TQ 
 Madrid,' answered he. ' I came. farther with two good Dominicans, 
 and am now setting out on my return.' 
 
 " Such an opportunity of going to Madrid ga.ve me an itching 
 desire for the expedition. I made my bargain with the muleteer, 
 jumped upon one of his mules, and away we scampered towards 
 Illescas, where we were to put up for the night. Scarcely were we 
 out of Maqueda, before the muleteer, a man from five-and-thirty to 
 forty, began chanting the church serv,ice with a most collegiate 
 twang. This trial of his lungs began with matins, in the drowsy 
 tone of a canon between asleep and awake ; then he roared out the 
 Belief, alternately in contralto, tenor, and bass, in all the harmoni- 
 ous confusion of high mass ; and not content with that, he rang the 
 bell for vespers, without sparing me a single petition, or so much as 
 a bar of the Magnificat. Though the scoundrel almost cracked the 
 drum of my ear, I could not help laughing heartily, and even egged 
 him on to make the welkin reverberate with his hallelujahs, when 
 the anthem was suspended a few rests, for the necessary purpose of 
 supplying wind to the organ. ' Courage, my friend !' said I ; ' go 
 on and prosper. If Heaven has given you a good capacious throat, 
 you are neither a niggard nor a perverter of its precious boon.' 
 'O ! certainly not, for the matter of that,' cried he: 'happily for my 
 immortal soul, I am not like carriers in general, who sing nothing 
 but profane songs about love or drinking: I do not even defile my 
 lips with ballads on our wars against the Moors ; such subjects are 
 at least light and unedifying, if not licentious and impure.' 'You 
 have,' replied I, ' an evangelical purity of heart which belongs only 
 to the elect among muleteers. With this excessive squeamishness 
 of yours about the choice of your music, have you also taken a vow 
 of continence, wherever there is a young bar-maid to be picked up 
 at an inn?' ' Assuredly,' rejoined he; 'chastity is also a virtue by
 
 588 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 which it is my pride to ward off the temptations of the road, where 
 my only business is to look after my mules.' I was in no small 
 degree astonished at such pious sentiments from this prodigy of 
 psalm-singing mule-drivers ; so that, looking upon him as a man 
 above the vanities and corruptions of this nether world, I fell 
 into chat with him after he had gone the length of his tether in 
 singing. 
 
 " We got to Illescas late in the day. On entering the inn-yard, 
 I left the care of the mules to my companion, and went into the 
 kitchen, where I ordered the landlord to get us a good supper, 
 which he promised to perform so much to my satisfaction as to make 
 me remember all the days of my life what usage travellers met 
 with at his house. 'As,' added he, ' now only ask your carrier what 
 sort of a man I am. By all the powers of seasoning ! I would defy 
 the best cook in Madrid or Toledo to make an olio at all to be 
 compared to mine. I shall treat you this evening with some stewed 
 rabbit after a receipt of my own ; you will then see whether it i? 
 any boast to say that I know how to send up a supper.' There- 
 upon, showing me a stewpan with a young rabbit, as he said, cut 
 up into pieces, ' There,' continued he, ' is what I mean to favor you . 
 with. When I shall have thrown in a little pepper, some salt, 
 wine, a handful of sweet herbs, and a few other ingredients which I 
 keep for my own sauces, you may depend on sitting down to such a 
 dish as would not disgrace the table of a chancellor or an arch- 
 bishop.' 
 
 " The landlord, having thus done justice to his own merits, began 
 to work upon the materials he had prepared. While he was labor- 
 ing in his vocation, I went into a room, where, lying down on a 
 sort of couch, I fell fast asleep through fatigue, having taken no 
 rest the night before. In the space of about two hours, the mule- 
 teer came and awakened me, with the information that supper was 
 ready, and a pressing request to take my place at table. The cloth 
 was laid for two, and we sat down to the hashed rabbit. I played 
 my knife and fork most manfully, finding the flavor delicious, 
 whether from the force of hunger in communicating a candid mode 
 of interpretation to my palate, or from the natural effect of the 
 ingredients compounded by the cook. A joint of roast mutton was 
 next served up. It was remarkable that the carrier only paid his 
 respects to this last article ; and I asked him why he had not taken 
 his share of'the other. He answered, with a suppressed smile, that 
 he was not fond of made dishes. This reason, or rather the turn of 
 countenance with which it was alleged, seemed to imply more than 
 was expressed. 'You have not told me,' said I, 'the real meaning 
 of your not eating the fricassee; do have the goodness to explain
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 589 
 
 it at once.' 'Since you are so curious to be made acquainted with 
 it,' replied he, ' I must own that I have an insuperable aversion to 
 cramming my stomach with meats in masquerade, since one evening 
 at an inn on the road between Toledo and Cuenqa, they served me 
 up, instead of a wild rabbit, a hash of tame cat enough, of all con- 
 science, ever after to set my intestines in battle array against all 
 minces, stews, and force-meats.' 
 
 " No sooner had the muleteer let me into this secret than, in spite 
 of the hunger which raged within me, my appetite left me com- 
 pletely in the lurch. I conceived, in all the horrors of extreme 
 loathing, that I had been eating a cat dressed up as the double of 
 a rabbit; and the fricassee had no longer any power over my 
 senses, except by producing a strong inclination to retch. My 
 companion did not lessen my tendency that way by telling me that 
 the innkeepers in Spain, as well as the pastry-cooks, were very much 
 in the habit of making that substitution. The drift of the conver- 
 sation was, as you may perceive, very much in the nature of a 
 lenitive: so much so that I had no mind to meddle any more 
 with the dish of undefinables, nor even to make an attack upon the 
 roast meat, for fear the mutton should have performed its duty by 
 deputy as well as the rabbit. I jumped up from table, cursing the 
 cookery, the cook, and the whole establishment ; then, throwing 
 myself down upon the sofa, I passed the night with less nausea 
 than might reasonably have been expected. The day following, 
 with the dawn, after having paid the reckoning with as princely an 
 air as if we had been treated like princes, away went I from Illescas, 
 bearing my faculties so strongly impregnated with fricassee that I 
 took every animal which crossed the road, of whatever species or 
 dimensions, for a cat. 
 
 " We got to Madrid betimes, where I had no sooner settled with 
 my carrier than I hired a ready-furnished lodging near the Sun- 
 gate. My eyes, though accustomed to the great world, were, 
 nevertheless, dazzled by the concourse of nobility which was ordi- 
 narily seen in the quarter of the court. I admired the prodigious 
 number of carriages, and the countless list of gentlemen, pages, 
 gentlemen's gentlemen, and plain, downright footmen, in the train 
 of the grandees. My admiration exceeded all bounds on going to 
 the king's levee, and beholding the monarch in the midst of his 
 court. The effect of the scene was enchanting, and I said to 
 myself, ' It is no wonder they should say that one must see the 
 court of Madrid to form an adequate idea of its magnificence : I am 
 delighted to have directed my course hither, and feel a sort of 
 prescience within me that I shall not come away without taking 
 fortune by surprise.' I caught nothing napping, however, but my
 
 590 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 own prudence, in making some thriftless, expensive acquaintance. 
 My money oozed away in the rapid thaw of my propriety and 
 better judgment, so that it became a measure of expedient degrada- 
 tion to throw away my transcendent merit on a pedagogue of 
 Salamanca, whom some family lawsuit or other concern had brought 
 to Madrid, where he was born, and where chance, more whimsical 
 than wise, thrust me within the horizon of his knowledge. I 
 became his right hand, his prime, principal agent, and dogged him 
 at the heels to the university when he returned thither. 
 
 " My new employer went by the name of Don Ignacio de Ipigna. 
 He furnished himself with the handle of don, inasmuch as he had 
 been tutor to a nobleman of the first rank, who had recompensed 
 his early services with an annuity for life : he likewise derived a 
 snug little salary from his professorship in the university ; and, in 
 addition to all this, laid the public under a yearly contribution of 
 two or three hundred pistoles for books of uninstructive morality, 
 which he protruded from the press periodically by weight and 
 measure. The manner in which he worked up the shreds and 
 patches of his composition deserves a notice somewhat more than 
 cursory. The heavy hours of the forenoon were spent in muzzing 
 over Hebrew, Greek, and Latin authors, and in writing down upon 
 little squares of card every pithy sentence or striking thought which 
 occurred in the morning's reading. According to the progress of 
 this literary Pan in winning tricks from the ancients, he employed 
 me to score up his honors in the form of an Apollo's wreath : these 
 metaphysical garlands were strung upon wire, and each garland 
 made a pocket volume. What an execrable hash of wholesome 
 viands did we cook up! The commandments set at loggerheads 
 with an utter confusion of tables; epicurean conclusions grafted on 
 stoical premises ! Tully quoting Epictetus, and Seneca supporting 
 his antitheses on the authority of monkish rhyme ! Scarcely a 
 month elapsed without our putting forth at least two volumes, so 
 that the press was kept continually groaning under the weight of 
 our transgressions. What seemed most extraordinary of all was, 
 that these literary larcenies were palmed upon the purchasers for 
 spick and span new wares, and if, by any strange and improbable 
 chance, a thick-headed critic should stumble with his noddle smack 
 against some palpable plagiarism, the author would plead guilty 
 to the indictment, and make a merit of serving up at second- 
 hand 
 
 ' What Gellius or Stobseus hashed before, 
 Though chewed by blind old scholiasts o'er and o'er.' 
 
 He was also a great commentator, and filled his notes chuck full of 
 BO much erudition as to multiply whole pages of discussion upon
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 591 
 
 what homely common-sense would have consigned to the brief alter- 
 native of a query : 
 
 1 Disputes of Me or Te, or Aut or At, 
 To sound or sink in cano or A, 
 Or give up Cicero to C or K..' 
 
 " As almost every author, ethical and didactic, from Hesiod down 
 to himself, took his turn to dangle on some one or other of our manu- 
 script garlands, it was impossible for me"not to suck in somewhat of 
 sage nurture from so copious a stream of philosophy : it would be 
 rank ingratitude to shift off' my obligation. My handwriting also 
 became strictly and decidedly legible, by dint of continual transcrip- 
 tion ; my estate was more that of a pupil than of a servant, and my 
 morals were not neglected, while my mind was polished, and my 
 faculties raised above their former level. ' Scipio,' he used to say, 
 when he chanced to hear of any serving lad with more cunning than 
 honesty in his dealings, ' beware, my good boy, how you take after 
 the evil example of that graceless villain. " The honor of a servant 
 is his fidelity ; his highest virtues are submission and obedience. Be 
 studious of thy master's interests; be diligent in his affairs, and 
 faithful to the trust which he reposeth in thee. Thy time and thy 
 labor belong unto him. Defraud him not thereof, for he payeth thee 
 for them." ' To sum up all, Don Ignacio lost no opportunity of 
 leading me on in the path of virtue, and his prudent counsels sank 
 so deep into my heart as to keep under anything like even the 
 slightest wish of playing him a rogue's trick during the fifteen 
 months which I spent in his service. 
 
 " I have already mentioned that Doctor de Ipigna was a native of 
 Madrid. He had a relation there, by name Catalina, waiting-maid 
 to the lady who officiated as nurse to the heir-apparent. This abi- 
 gail, the same through whose intervention I got Signor de Santillane 
 released from the tower of Segovia, intent on rendering a service to 
 Don Ignacio, prevailed with her mistress to petition the Duke of 
 Lerma for some preferment. The minister named him for the arch- 
 deaconry of Granada, which, as a conquered country, ia in the king's 
 gift. We repaired immediately to Madrid on receiving the intelli- 
 gence, as the doctor wished to thank his patronesses before he took 
 possession of his benefice. I had more than one opportunity of see- 
 ing Catalina, and conversing with her. The cheerful turn of my 
 temper and a certain easy air of good company were altogether to 
 her taste; for my part, I found her so much to my liking, that I 
 could not help saying yes to the little advances of partiality which 
 she made in my favor : in short, we got to feel very kindly towards 
 each other. You must not write a comment with your nails, my 
 dear Beatrice, on this episode in the romance of my amours, because
 
 B99 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 I was firmly persuaded of your inconstancy, and you will allow that 
 heresy, though impious, being also blind, my penance may reason- 
 ably be remitted on sincere conversion. 
 
 " In the meantime, Doctor Ignacio was making ready to set out 
 for Granada. His relation and myself, out of our wits at the im- 
 pending separation, had recourse to an expedient which rescued us 
 from its horrors : I shammed illness, complained of my head, com- 
 plained of my chest, and made a characteristic wry face for every 
 pain and ache in the catalogue of human infirmities. My master 
 called in a physician, who told me with a grave face, after putting 
 his questions in the usual course, that my complaint was of a much 
 more serious nature than it might appear to unprofessional observa- 
 tion, and that, according to all present likelihood, I should keep my 
 chamber a long time. The doctor, impatient to take possession of 
 his preferment, did not think it quite so well to delay his departure, 
 but chose rather to hire another boy ; he therefore contented himself 
 with handing me over to the care of a nurse, with whom he left a 
 sum of money to bury me if I should die, or to remunerate me for 
 my services if I should recover. 
 
 "As soon as I knew Don Ignacio to be safe on the road for 
 Granada, I was cured of all my maladies. I got up, made my final 
 bow to the physician who had evinced so thorough a knowledge of 
 my case, and fairly turned my nurse out of doors, who made her 
 retreat good with baggage and ammunition to the amount of more 
 than half the sum for which she ought to have accounted with me. 
 While I was enacting the sick man, Catalina was playing another 
 part about the person of her mistress, Donna Anna de GuSvra, into 
 whose conception having, by dint of many a wordy process, inserted 
 the notion that I was the man of all others ready cut and dry for 
 an intrigue, she induced her to choose me for one of her agents. 
 The royal and most catholic nurse, whose genius for great under- 
 takings was either produced or exasperated by the love of great 
 possessions, having occasion for suitable ministers, received me 
 among her hangers-on, and lost no opportunity of ascertaining how 
 far I was for her purpose. She confided some commissions to my 
 care, which, vanity apart, called for no little address, and what they 
 called for was ready at hand : accordingly she gave me all possible 
 credit for the diligent execution of my office, while my discontent 
 swelled high against her for fobbing me off with the cold recom- 
 pense of approbation. The good lady was so abominably avaricious 
 as not to give me a working partner's share in the profits of my 
 industry, nor to allow for the wear and tear of my conscience. She 
 seemed inclined to consider that by paying me my wages all the 
 requisitions of Christian charity were made good between us.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 593 
 
 This excess of illiberal economy would soon have parted us had 
 it not been for the fascination of Catalina's gentle virtues, who be- 
 came more desperately in love with me from day to day, and com- 
 pleted the paroxysm by a formal proposal of marriage. 
 
 " ' Fair and softly, my pretty friend,' said I ; ' we must look before 
 we leap into that bottomless gulf: the first point to be settled is to 
 ascertain the death of a young woman who obtained the refusal 
 before you, and made me supremely happy for no other purpose 
 but to anticipate the purgatory of an intermediate state in the 
 present.' 'All a mere sham, a put-oftT answered Cataliua: 'you 
 swear you are married only by way of throwing a genteel veil over 
 your abhorrence of my person and manners.' In vain did I call all 
 the powers to witness that what I said was solemnly true : my sin- 
 cere avowal was considered as a mere copy of my countenance ; the 
 lady was grievously offended, and changed her whole behavior in 
 regard to me. There was no downright quarrel ; but our tender 
 intercourse became visibly more rigid and unaccommodating, so that 
 nothing further took place between us but cold formality and com- 
 monplace attentions. 
 
 " Just at the nick of time, I heard that Signor Gil Bias de San- 
 tillane, secretary to the prime minister of the Spanish monarchy, 
 wanted a servant ; and the situation was the more flattering, as it 
 bore the bell among all the vacancies of the court register office. 
 Signor de Santillane, they told me, was one of the first men, high 
 in favor with the Duke of Lerma, and consequently in the direct 
 road to fortune ; his heart, too, was cast in the mould of generosity; 
 by doing his business, you most assuredly did your own. The 
 opportunity was too good to be neglected : I went and offered my- 
 self to Signor Gil Bias, to whom I felt my heart grow from the first ; 
 for my sentiments were fixed by the turn of his physiognomy. 
 There could be no question about leaving the royal and most cath- 
 olic nurse for him ; and it is to be hoped I shall never have any 
 other master." 
 
 Here ended Scipio's story. But he continued speaking, and ad- 
 dressed himself to me. "Signor de Santillane, do me the favor 
 to assure these ladies that you have always known me for a 
 faithful and zealous servant. Your testimony will stand me in 
 good stead, and vouch for a sincere reformation in the son of Cos- 
 clina." 
 
 " Yes, ladies," said I, " it is even so. Though Scipio in his child- 
 hood was a very scapegrace, he has been born anew, and is now the 
 exact model of a trusty domestic. Far from having any complaints 
 to make against him, my debt is infinite. On the fatal night when 
 I was carried off to the tower of Segovia, he saved my effects from 
 38
 
 594 
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 pillage, and refunded what he might have taken to himself with 
 impunity : not contented with rescuing my worldly pelf, he caine 
 out of pure friendship and shut himself up with me in my prison, 
 preferring the melancholy sympathies of adverse fortune to all the 
 charms of lusty, buoyant liberty."
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 595 
 
 BOOK XL 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 CONTAINING THE SUBJECT OF THE GREATEST JOY THAT GIL BLAS EVER 
 FELT, FOLLOWED BY THE MOST MELANCHOLY EVENT OF HIS LIFE. 
 
 I HAVE observed already that Antonia and Beatrice understood 
 one another perfectly well, the latter falling meekly and mod- 
 estly into the trammels of a humble attendant on her lady, and the 
 former taking very kindly to the rank of a mistress and superior. 
 Scipio and myself were husbands too rich in nature's gifts and in 
 the affections of our spouses not very soon to have the satisfaction 
 of becoming fathers : our wives were as women wish to be who love 
 their lords, almost at the same moment. Beatrice's time was up 
 first: she was safely delivered of a daughter; and in a few days 
 afterwards Antonia completed the general joy by presenting me 
 with a son. I sent my secretary to Valencia with the welcome 
 tidings: the governor came to Lirias with Seraphina and the 
 Marchioness de Pliego, to be present at the baptismal ceremony; 
 for he made it his pleasure to add this testimony of affection to all 
 his former kindnesses. As that nobleman stood godfather and the 
 marchioness godmother to my son, he was named Alphonso ; and 
 the governor's lady, wishing to draw the bonds of sponsorship still 
 closer in this friendly party, stood for Scipio's daughter, to whom 
 we gave the name of Seraphina. 
 
 The rejoicings at the birth of my son were not confined to the 
 mansion-house : the villagers of Lirias celebrated the event by fes- 
 tivities, which were meant as a grateful token, to prove how much 
 the little neighborhood partook in all the satisfactions of their land- 
 lord. But, alas ! our carousals were of short continuance ; or, to 
 speak more suitably to the subject, they were turned into weeping, 
 wailing, and lamentation, by a catastrophe which more than twenty 
 years have not been sufficient to blot from my memory ; nor will 
 future time, however distant, make me think of it but with the 
 bitterest retrospect. My son died; and his mother, though per- 
 fectly recovered from her confinement, very soon followed him : a 
 violent fever carried off my dear wife after we had been married 
 fourteen months. Let the reader conceive, if he is equal to the 
 task, the grief with which I was overwhelmed : I fell into a stupid 
 insensibility, and felt my loss so severely as to seem not to feel it
 
 596 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 at all. I remained in this condition for five or six days, in an 
 obstinate determination to take no nourishment; and I verily be- 
 lieve that, had it not been for Scipio, I should either have starved 
 myself, or my heart would have burst; but my secretary, well 
 knowing how to accommodate himself to the turnings and windings 
 of the human heart, contrived to cheat my sorrows by falling in 
 with their tone and tenor: he was artful enough to reconcile me to 
 the duty of taking food, by serving up soups and lighter fare with 
 so disconsolate an arrangement of features that it looked as if he 
 urged me to the revolting employment, not so much to preserve my 
 life as to perpetuate and render immortal my affliction. 
 
 This affectionate servant wrote to Don Alphonso to let him know 
 of the misfortune which had happened to me, and my lamentable 
 condition in consequence. That tender-hearted and compassionate 
 nobleman, that generous friend, very soon repaired to Lirias. I 
 cannot recall the moment when he first presented himself to my 
 view, without even now being sensibly affected. " My dear Santil- 
 lane," said he, embracing me, " I am not come to offer you imperti- 
 nent consolation, but to weep over Antonia with you, as you would 
 have wept with me over Seraphina, had the hand of death snatched 
 her from me." In good truth, his tears bore testimony to his sin- 
 cerity, and his sighs were blended with mine in the most friendly 
 sympathy. Though overwhelmed with my affliction, I felt in the 
 most lively manner the kindness of Don Alphonso. 
 
 The governor had a long conversation with Scipio respecting the 
 measures to be taken for overcoming my despair. They judged it 
 best to remove me for some time from Lirias, where every object 
 incessantly brought back to my mind the image of Antonia. On 
 this account the son of Don Caesar proposed carrying me back with 
 him to Valencia ; and my secretary seconded the plan with so many 
 unanswerable arguments that I made no further opposition. I left 
 Scipio and his wife on my estate, where my longer stay could have 
 produced no other effect than that of aggravating and enhancing all 
 my sorrows, and took my own departure with the governor. On 
 my arrival at Valencia, Don Csesar and his daughter-in-law spared 
 no exertions to divert my sorrows from perpetual brooding; they 
 plied me alternately with every sort of amusement, the most proper 
 to turn the current of my thoughts to passing objects; but, in spite 
 of all their pains, I remained plunged in melancholy, whence they 
 were incompetent to draw me out. Nor was it for want of Scipio's 
 kind attentions that my peace of mind was still so hopeless : he was 
 continually going back and forth between Lirias and Valencia to 
 inquire after me; and his journey home was cheerful or gloomy in 
 proportion as he found more or less disposition in me to listen t
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 597 
 
 the words of comfort, and to reward the affectionate solicitude of 
 my friends. 
 
 He came one morning into my room. "Sir," said he, with a 
 great deal of agitation in his manner, " a report is current about 
 town, in which the whole monarchy is deeply interested : it is said 
 that Philip the Third has departed this life, and that the prince, his 
 son, is actually seated on the throne. To this it is added that the 
 cardinal Duke of Lerma has lost the premiership, that he is even 
 forbidden to appear at court, and that Don Gaspard de Guzman, 
 Count of Olivarez, is actually at the head of the administration." I 
 felt a little agitated by this sudden change, without knowing why. 
 Scipio caught at this manifestation, and asked whether the veering 
 of the wind in the political horizon might not blow me some good. 
 "How is that possible? What good can it blow me, my worthy 
 friend?" answered I. "The court and I have shaken hands once 
 for all : the revolutions which may take place there are all alike 
 indifferent to me." 
 
 " For a man at your time of life," replied that cunning son of a 
 diviner, "you are uncommonly mortified to all the uses of this 
 world. Under your circumstances my curiosity would be all alive ; 
 I should go to Madrid and show my face to the young monarch, just 
 to see whether he would recollect it, merely for the amusement of 
 the thing." " I understand you," said I ; "you would have me re- 
 turn to court and try my fortune again, or rather you would plunge 
 me back into the gulf of avarice and ambition." " Why should 
 such baleful passions any more take possession of your breast?" 
 rejoined Scipio. " Do not so much play the calumniator on your 
 own virtue. I will answer for your firmness to yourself. The sound 
 moral reflections which your disgrace has occasioned you to make 
 on the vanities of a court life are a sufficient security against all the 
 dangers to be feared from that quarter. Embark boldly once again 
 upon an ocean where you are acquainted with every shoal and rock 
 in the dangerous navigation." " Hold your tongue, you flatterer," 
 said I with a smile of no very positive discouragement ; " are you 
 weary of seeing me lead a retired and tranquil life? I thought my 
 repose had been more dear to you." 
 
 Just at this period of our conversation, Don Caesar and his son 
 came in. They confirmed the news of the king's death, as well as 
 the Duke of Lerma's misfortune. It appeared, moreover, that this 
 minister, having requested permission to retire to Rome, had not 
 been able to obtain it, but was ordered to confine himself to his 
 marquisate at Denia. On this, as if they had been in league with 
 my secretary, they advised me to go to Madrid and offer my con-* 
 gratulations to the new king, as one of his former acquaintances,
 
 598 ADVExrriiES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 with the merit of having rendered him even such services as the 
 great are apt to reward more willingly than some which are per- 
 formed with cleaner hands. " For my part," said Don Alphonso, 
 " I have no doubt but they will be liberally acknowledged ; Philip 
 the Fourth is bound in honor to pay the Prince of Spain's debts." 
 " I consider the affair just in the same light as you do," said Don 
 Caesar, "and Santillane's visit to court will doubtless prove the occa- 
 sion of his arriving at the very first employments." 
 
 " In good truth, my noble friends," exclaimed I, " you do not 
 consider what you are talking about. It should seem, were one to 
 give ear to the soothing words of you both, as if I had nothing to 
 do but to show my face at Madrid, and receive the key of office, or 
 some foreign government, for my pains ; but you are egregiously 
 mistaken. I am, on the contrary, well persuaded that the king 
 would pass me over as a stranger were I to throw myself in his way. 
 I will make the experiment if you wish it, merely for the sake of 
 undeceiving you." The lords of Ley va took me at my word, so that 
 I could not help promising them to set out without loss of time for 
 Madrid. No sooner did my secretary perceive my mind fully made 
 up to the prosecution of this journey than his ecstasies were wound 
 up to the highest pitch ; he was satisfied within himself that if I did 
 but present my excellent person before the new monarch, he would 
 immediately single me out from the crowd of political candidates, 
 and weigh me down under a load of dignities and emoluments. On 
 the strength of these conjectures, puffing himself out and amusing 
 his fancy with the most splendid extravagances of device, he raised 
 me up to the first office of the state, and pushed forward his own 
 preferment in the path of my exaltation. 
 
 I therefore made my arrangements for returning to court,, without 
 the most distant intention of again sacrificing at the shrine of for- 
 tune, but merely to convince Don Caesar and his son of their error 
 in imagining that I was at all likely to ingratiate myself with the 
 sovereign. It is true that there was some little lurking vanity at 
 the bottom of all my philosophy, sprouting up in the shape of a 
 desire to ascertain whether my royal master would throw away a 
 thought on me now in the spring-time of his new and blushing 
 honors. Led into that course solely by that tempter curiosity, 
 without a dream of hope, or any practical contrivance for turning 
 the new reign to my own individual advantage, I set out for Madrid 
 with Scipio, consigning the management of my household to Bea- 
 trice, who was well skilled in all the arts of domestic economy.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 599 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 GIL BLAS ARRIVES IN MADRID. HE APPEARS AT COURT. THE KING 
 RECOMMENDS HIM TO THE NOTICE OP HIS PRIME MINISTER. 
 
 WE got to Madrid in less than eight days, Don Alphonso hav 
 ing given us two of his best horses, that we might lose no 
 time on the road. We alighted at a ready-furnished lodging, where 
 I had lived formerly, kept by Vincent Ferrero, my old landlord, 
 who was uncommonly glad to see me again. 
 
 As this man prided himself on being in the secret of whatever 
 was going forward either in court or city, I asked him after the best 
 news. " There is plenty of it, whether best or worst," answered he. 
 "Since the death of Philip the Third, the friends and partisans of the 
 cardinal Duke of Lerma have been moving heaven and earth to 
 support his eminence on the pinnacle of ministerial authority ; but 
 their efforts have been ineffectual. The Count of Olivarez has car- 
 ried the day, in spite of all their industry. It is alleged that Spain 
 will be no loser by the exchange, and that the present premier is 
 possessed of a genius so extensive, a mind so capacious, that he 
 would be competent to wield the machine of universal government. 
 New brooms, they say, sweep clean. But, at all events, you may 
 take this for certain, that the public is fully impressed with a very 
 favorable opinion of his capacity ; we shall see by-and-by whether 
 the Duke of Lerma's situation is well or ill filled up.' Ferrero, hav- 
 ing got his tongue into the right train for wagging, gave me all the 
 particulars of all the changes which had taken place at court 
 since the Count of Olivarez had taken his seat at the helm of the 
 state vessel. 
 
 Two days after my arrival at Madrid I repaired to the royal 
 palace, after my dinner, and threw myself in the king's way as he 
 was crossing the lobby to his closet; but his notice was not at all 
 attracted by my appearance. Next day I returned to the same 
 place, but with no better success. On the third day he looked me 
 full in the face as he passed by ; but the stare was perfectly vacant, 
 as far as my interest or my vanity was concerned. This being the 
 case, I resolved in my own mind what was proper to be done. " You 
 see," said I to Scipio, who accompanied me, "that the king is 
 grown out of my recollection ; or if his memory is not become 
 more frail with the elevation of his circumstances, he has some pri- 
 vate reasons for not choosing to renew the acquaintance. I think 
 we cannot do better than make our way back as fast as possible for 
 Valencia." "Let us not be in too great a hurry for that, air,"
 
 600 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 answered my secretary ; "you know better than myself, having 
 served a long apprenticeship, that there is no getting on at court 
 without patience and perseverance. Be indefatigable in exhibiting 
 your person to the prince's regards : by dint of forcing yourself on 
 his observation, you will oblige him to ask himself the question who 
 this assiduous frequenter of his haunts can possibly be, when mem- 
 ory must come to his aid, and trace the features of his cheapener in 
 the purchase of the lovely Catalina's good graces." 
 
 That Scipio might have nothing to reproach me with, I so far 
 lent myself to his wishes as to continue the same proceeding for the 
 space of three weeks ; when at length it happened one day that the 
 monarch, noticing the frequency of my appearance, sent for me into 
 his presence. I went into the closet, not without some perturbation 
 of mind at the idea of a private interview with my sovereign, " Who 
 are you?" said he; " your features are not altogether strange to me. 
 Where have I seen you ?" " Please your majesty," answered I, 
 trembling, " I had the honor of escorting you one night with the 
 Count of Lemos to the house of" . . . "Ah! I recollect it per- 
 fectly," cried the prince, as jf a sudden light had broke in upon him; 
 "you were the Duke of Lerma's secretary; and if I am not mistaken, 
 your name is Santillane. I have not forgotten that on the occasion 
 alluded to you served me with a most commendable zeal, but re- 
 ceived a left-handed recompense for your exertions. Did you not 
 get into prison at the conclusion of the adventure?" "Yes, please 
 your majesty," replied I ; " my confinement in the tower of Segovia 
 lasted six months ; but your goodness was exercised in procuring 
 my release." " That," replied he, " does not cancel my debt to 
 my faithful servant Santillane : it is not enough to have restored 
 him to liberty; for I ought to make him ample amends for the 
 evils which he has suffered on the score of his alacrity in my 
 concerns." 
 
 Just as the prince was uttering these words, the Count of Olivarez 
 came into the closet. The nerves of favorites are shaken by every 
 breath, their irritability excited by every trifle ; he was as much 
 astonished as any favorite need be at the sight of a stranger in that 
 place, and the king redoubled his wondering propensities by the fol- 
 lowing recommendation : " Count, I consign this young man to your 
 care ; employ him, and let me find that you provide for his advance- 
 ment." The minister affected to receive this order with the most 
 gracious acquiescence, but looked me over from head to foot, with a 
 glance from the corner of his eye, and was on tenter-hooks to find 
 out who had been so strangely saddled upon him. " Go, my friend," 
 added the sovereign, addressing himself to me, and waving his hand 
 for me to withdraw ; " the count will not fail to avail himself of
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 601 
 
 your services in a manner the most conducive to the interests of my 
 government and the establishment of your own fortunes." 
 
 I immediately went out of the closet, and made the best of my 
 way to the son of Cosclina, who, being overrun with impatience to 
 inquire what the king had been talking about, fumbled at his 
 fingers' ends, and was all over in an agitation. His first question 
 was whether we were to return to Valencia or become a part of the 
 3ourt. " You shall form your own conclusions," answered I, at the 
 same time delighting him with an account, word for word, of the 
 little conversation I had just held with the monarch. "My dear 
 master," said Scipio, at once, in the excess of his joy, " will you take 
 me for your almanac-maker another time ? You must acknowledge 
 that we were not in the wrong : the lords of Leyva and myself have 
 our eye-teeth about us ' A journey to Madrid was the only measure 
 to be adopted in such a case. Already I anticipate your appoint- 
 ment to an eminent post : you will turn out to be sometime or other 
 a Calderona to the Count of Olivarez." " That is by no means the 
 object of my ambition," observed I, in return ; " the employment is 
 placed on too rugged an eminence to excite any longings in my mind. 
 I could wish for a good situation, where there could be no induce- 
 ment to do what might go against my conscience, and where the 
 favors of my prince are not likely to be bartered away for filthy lucre. 
 Having experienced my own unfitness for the possession of patron- 
 age, I cannot be sufficiently on my guard against the inroads of 
 avarice and ambition." " Never think about that, sir," replied my 
 secretary ; " the minister will give you some handsome appointment, 
 which you may fill without any impeachment of your integrity or 
 independence." 
 
 Induced more by Sdpio's importunity than my own curiosity, 
 I repaired the following day, before sunrise, to the residence of 
 the Count d'Olivarez, having been informed that every morning, 
 whether in summer or winter, he gave audience by candlelight to 
 all comers. I ensconced myself modestly in a corner of the saloon, 
 and from my lurking-place took especial notice of the count when 
 he made his appearance, for I had marked his person but cursorily 
 in the king's closet. He was above the middle stature, and might 
 pass for fat in a country where it is a rarity to see any but lean 
 subjects. His shoulders were so high as to look exactly as if he 
 was humpbacked ; but appearances were slanderous ; for his blade- 
 bones, though inelegant, were a pair; his head, which was large 
 enough to be capacious, dropped down upon his chest by the un- 
 wieldiness of its own weight ; his hair was black and unconscious of 
 a curl, his face lengthened, his complexion olive-colored, his mouth 
 retiring inwards, with the sharp-pointed, turn-up chin of a pantaloon.
 
 602 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 This whole arrangement of structure and symmetry did not 
 exactly make up the complete model of a nobleman according to 
 the ideas of ancient art ; nevertheless, as I believed him to be in a 
 temper of mind favorable to the gratification of my wishes, I looked 
 at his defects with an indulgent eye, and found him a man very 
 much to my satisfaction. One of the best points about him was, 
 that he received the public at large with the utmost affability and 
 complacency, holding out his hand for petitions with as much good 
 humor as if he were the person to be obliged ; and this was a suffi- 
 cient set-off against anything untoward in the expression of his 
 countenance. In the meantime, when, in my turn, I came forward 
 to pay my respects and make myself known to him, he darted at 
 me a glance of rude dislike and frightful menace; then, turning 
 his back, without condescending to give me audience, retired into 
 his closet. Then it was that the ugliness of this nobleman's 
 features appeared in all the extravagance of caricature, so that I 
 made the best of my way out of the saloon, thunderstruck at so 
 savage a reception, and quite at a loss how to conjecture what mjght 
 be the occasion. 
 
 Having got back to Scipio, who was waiting for me at the door, 
 " Can you guess at all," said I, " what sort of a greeting mine was?" 
 "No," answered he, "not as to the minute particulars; but with 
 respect to the substance, easily enough : the minister, ready upon 
 all occasions to fall in with the fancies of his royal master, must of 
 course have made you a handsome offer of an ostensible and lucra- 
 tive situation." " That is all you know about the matter," replied 
 I, and then went on to acquaint him circumstantially with all that 
 passed. He listened to me with serious attention, and then said, 
 " The count could not have recollected your person ; or rather, he 
 must have been deceived by a fortuitous resemblance between you 
 and some impertinent suitor. I would advise you to try another 
 interview ; I will lay a wager he will look on you more kindly." 
 I adopted my secretary's suggestion, and stood for the second time in 
 the presence of the minister ; but he, behaving to me still worse than 
 at first, puckered up his features the moment my unlucky coun- 
 tenance came within his ken, just as if it was connected with some 
 lodged hate and certain loathing, which of force swayed him to 
 offend, himself being offended ; after this significant demonstration, 
 he turned away his glaring eyeballs, and withdrew without uttering 
 a word. 
 
 I was stung to the quick by so hostile a treatment, and in a 
 humor to set out immediately on my return to Valencia ; but to 
 that project Scipio uniformly opposed his steady objections, not 
 knowing how for the life of him to part with those flattering hopes
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 603 
 
 which fancy had engendered in his brain. "Do you not see 
 plainly," said I, "that the count, wishes to drive me away from 
 court ? The monarch has testified in his presence some sort of favor- 
 able intention towards me, and is not that enough to draw down 
 upon' me the thorough hate of the monarch's favorite? Let us 
 drive before the wind, my good comrade ; let us make up our minds 
 to put quietly into port, and leave the open sea and the honors of 
 the flag in the possession of an enemy with whom we are too feeble 
 to contend." " Sir," answered he, in high resentment against the 
 Count of Olivarez, " I would not strike so easily. I would go and 
 complain to the king of the contempt in which his minister held 
 his recommendation." " Bad advice, indeed, my friend," said I ; 
 " to take so imprudent a step as that would soon bring bitter repent- 
 ance in the train of its consequences. I do not even know whether 
 it is safe for me to remain any longer in this town." 
 
 At this hint, my secretary communed a little with his own 
 thoughts ; and, considering that in point of fact we bad to do with 
 a man who kept the key of the tower of Segovia in his pocket, my 
 fears became naturalized in his breast. He no longer opposed my 
 earnest desire of leaving Madrid, and I determined to take my 
 measures accordingly on the very next day. 
 
 CHAPTER III.. 
 
 THE PROJECT OP RETIREMENT IS PREVENTED. JOSEPH NAVARRO 
 BROUGHT UPON THE STAGE AGAIN. 
 
 ON my way home to my lodgings I met Joseph Navarro, whom 
 the reader will recollect as on the establishment of Don 
 Balthasar de Zuniga, and one of my old friends. I made my bow 
 first at a distance, then went up to him, and asked whether he knew 
 me again, and if he would still be so good as to speak to a wretch 
 who had repaid his friendship with ingratitude. " You acknowl- 
 edge then," said he, "that you have not behaved very handsomely 
 by me ?" " Yes," answered I ; " and you are fully justified in laying 
 on your reproaches thick and threefold : I deserve them all, unless, 
 indeed, my guilt may be thought to have been atoned by the 
 remorse of conscience attendant on it." " Since you have repented 
 of your misconduct," replied Navarro, embracing me, " I ought no 
 longer to hold it in remembrance." For my part, I knew not bow
 
 604 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 to hug Joseph close enough in my arms ; and we both of us resumed 
 our original kind feelings towards one another. 
 
 He had heard of my imprisonment and the derangement of my 
 affairs ; but of what followed he was totally ignorant. I informed 
 him of it; relating, -word for word, my conversation with the king, 
 without suppressing the minister's late ungracious reception of me, 
 any more than my present purpose of retiring into my favorite 
 obscurity. " Beware of removing from the scene of action," said 
 he, "since the sovereign has shown a disposition to befriend you: 
 there are always uses to be made of such a circumstance. Between 
 ourselves, the Count of Olivarez has something rather unaccount- 
 able in his character: he is a very good sort of nobleman, but rather 
 whimsical withal ; sometimes, as on the present occasion, he acts in 
 a most offensive manner, and none but himself can furnish a clue 
 to disentangle the intricate thread of his motives and their results. 
 But however this may be, or whatever reasons might have swayed 
 him to give you eo scurvy a reception, keep your footing here, and 
 do not budge ; he will not be able to hinder you from thriving under 
 the royal shelter and protection : take my word for that ! I will just 
 give a hint upon the subject this evening to Signer Don Balthasar 
 de Zuniga, my master; he is uncle to the Count of Olivarez, and 
 shares with him in the toils and cares of office." Navarro, having 
 given me this assurance, inquired where I lived, and then we parted. 
 
 It was not long before we met again ; for he came to call on me 
 the very next day. "Signor de Santillane," said he, "you are not 
 without a protector; my master will lend you his powerful support: 
 on the strength of the good character which I have given your lord- 
 ship, he has promised to speak to his nephew, the Count of Olivarez, 
 in your behalf; and I doubt not but he will effectually prepossess 
 him in your favor." My friend Navarro, not meaning to serve me 
 by halves, introduced me two days afterwards to Don Balthasar, 
 who said, with a gracious air, " Signor de Santillane, your friend 
 Joseph has pronounced your panegyric in terms which have won 
 me over completely to your interest." I made a low obeisance to 
 Signor de Zuniga, and answered that to the latest period of my life 
 I should entertain the most lively sense of my obligation to Navarro 
 for having secured to me the protection of a minister who was con- 
 sidered, and that for the best reasons possible, as the presiding 
 genius, the greater luminary, or, as it were, the eye and mind of the 
 ministerial council." Don Balthasar, at this unexpected stroke of 
 flattery, clapped me on the shoulder with an approving chuckle, and 
 returned my compliment by a more significant intimation : " You 
 may call on the Count of Olivarez again to-morrow, and then you 
 will have more reason to be pleased with him."
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 605 
 
 For the third time, therefore, did I make my appearance before 
 the prime minister, who, picking me out from among the mob of 
 suitors, cast upon me a look conveying with it a simper of welcome, 
 from which I ventured to draw a good omen. " This is all as it 
 should be," said I to myself; "the uncle has brought the nephew to 
 his proper bearings." I no longer anticipated any other than a 
 favorable reception, and my confidence was fully justified. The 
 count, after having given audience to the promiscuous crowd, took 
 me with him into his closet, and said with a familiar address, "My 
 friend Sanfrllane, you must excuse the little disquietude I have 
 occasioned you merely for my own amusement ; it was done in 
 sport, though it was death to you, for th sole purpose of practicing 
 on your discretion, and observing to what measures your disgust and 
 disappointment would incite you. Doubtless you must have con-' 
 eluded that your services were displeasing to me ; but on the con- 
 trary, my good fellow, I must confess frankly, that, as far as appears 
 at present, you are perfectly to my mind. Though the king, my 
 master, had not enjoined me to take charge of your fortunes, I 
 should have done so of my own free choice. Besides, my uncle, 
 Don Balthasar de Zuniga, to whom I can refuse nothing, has re- 
 quested me to consider you as a man for whom he particularly inter- 
 ests himself; that alone would be enough to fix my confidence in 
 you, and make me most sincerely your friend." 
 
 This outset of my career produced so lively an impression on my 
 feelings that they became unintelligibly tumultuous. I threw my- 
 self at the minister's feet, who insisted on my rising immediately, 
 and then went on to the following effect: "Return hither to-day 
 after dinner, and ask for my steward ; he will acquaint you with the 
 orders which I shall have given him." With these words his excel- 
 lency broke up the conference to hear mass, according to his con- 
 stant custom every day after giving audience ; he then attended the 
 king's levee. 
 
 CHAPTEE IV. 
 
 GIL BLAS INGRATIATES HIMSELF WITH THE COUNT OF OLIVAEEZ. 
 
 I DID not fail returning after dinner to the prime minister's 
 house, and asking for his steward, whose name was Don Ray- 
 mond Caporis. No sooner had I made myself known than, paying 
 his civilities to me in the most respectful manner, "Sir," said he,
 
 606 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 " follow me, if you please ; I am to do myself the honor of showing 
 you the way to the apartment which is ordered for you in this 
 family." Having spoken thus, he led me up a narrow staircase to 
 a gallery communicating with five or six rooms, which composed 
 the second story belonging to one wing of the house, and were fur- 
 nished neatly, but without ostentation. " You behold," resumed 
 he, " the lodging assigned you by his lordship, where you will always 
 have a table of six persons, kept at his expense. You will be 
 waited on by his own servants ; and there will always be a carriage 
 at your command. But that is not all : his excellency insisted on 
 it, in the most pointed manner, that you should be treated in every 
 respect with the same attention as if you belonged to the house of 
 Guzman." 
 
 " What the devil is the meaning of all this ?" said I within myself. 
 " What construction ought I to put upon all these honors ? Is there 
 not some humorous prank at the bottom of it? and must it not be 
 more in the way of diversion than anything else that the minister 
 is flattering me up with so imposing an establishment?" While I 
 was ruminating in this uncertainty, fluctuating between hope and 
 fear, a page came to let me know that the count was asking for me. 
 I waited instantly on his lordship, .who was quite alone in his closet. 
 " Well ! Santillane," said he, " are you satisfied with your rooms, and 
 with my orders to Don Raymond?" "Your excellency's liberality," 
 answered I, "seems out of all proportion with its object; so that I 
 receive it with fear and trembling." " Why so ?" replied he. "Can 
 I be too lavish of distinction to a man whom the king has committed 
 to my care, and for whose interests he especially commanded me to 
 provide ? No : that is impossible ; and I do no more than my duty 
 in placing you on a footing of respectability and consequence. No 
 longer, therefore, let what I do for you be a subject of surprise ; but 
 rely on it that splendor in the eye of the world, and the solid ad- 
 vantages of accumulating wealth, are equally within your grasp, if 
 you do but attach yourself as faithfully to me as you did to the Duke 
 of Lerma. 
 
 " But now that we are on the subject of that nobleman," continued 
 he, " it is said that you lived on terms of personal intimacy with 
 him. I have a strong curiosity to learn the circumstances which led 
 to your first acquaintance, as well as in what department you acted 
 under him. Do not disguise or gloss over the slightest particular, 
 for I shall not be satisfied without a full, true, and circumstantial 
 recital." Then it was that I recollected in what an embarrassing 
 predicament I stood with the Duke of Lerma on a similar occasion, 
 and by what line of conduct I extricated myself: that same course I 
 adopted once again with the happiest success ; whereby the reader
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 607 
 
 is to understand that throughout my narrative I softened down the 
 passages likely to give umbrage to my patron, and glanced with a 
 superficial delicacy over transactions which would have reflected 
 but little lustre on my own character. I likewise manifested a con- 
 siderate tenderness for the Duke of Lerma ; though, by giving that 
 fallen favorite no quarter, I should better have consulted the taste of 
 him whom I wished to please. As for Don Rodrigo de Calderoua, 
 there I laid about me with the religious fury of a bishop in a battle. 
 I brought together, and displayed in the most glaring colors, all the 
 anecdotes I had been able to pick up respecting his corrupt prac- 
 tices -and underhand dealing in the sale of promotions, military, ec- 
 clesiastical and civil. 
 
 "What you have told me about Calduona," cried the minister 
 with eagerness, " exactly squares with certain memorials which have 
 been presented to me, containing the heads of charges still more 
 seriously affecting his character. He will very soon be put upon his 
 trial, and if you have any wish to glut your revenge by his ruin, I 
 am of opinion that the object of your desire is near at hand." " I 
 am far from thirsting after his blood," said I, " though had it de- 
 pended on him, mine might have been shed in the tower of Segovia, 
 where he was the occasion of my taking lodgings for a pretty long 
 term." "What!" inquired his excellency, "was it Don Rodrigo 
 who procured you that sudden journey ? This is a part of the story 
 of which I was not aware before. Don Balthasar, to whom Navarro 
 gave a summary of your adventures, told me, indeed, that the late 
 king gave orders for your commitment, as a mark of his indignation 
 against you for having led the Prince of Spain astray, and taken 
 him to a house of suspicious character in the night ; but that is all 
 I know of the matter, and cannot, for the life of me, conjecture what 
 part Calderona could possibly have had to play in that tragi- 
 comedy." " A principal part, whether on the stage or in real life," 
 answered I ; " that of a jealous lover, taking vengeance for an injury 
 sustained in the tenderest point." At the same time I related 
 minutely all the facts with which the reader is already acquainted, 
 and touched his risible propensities, difficult as they were of access, 
 so exactly in the right place, that he could not help wagging bis 
 under-jaw in a paroxysm of humor-stricken Ecstasy, and laughing 
 till he cried again. Catalina's double cast in the drama delighted 
 him exceedingly ; her sometimes playing the niece and sometimes 
 personating the granddaughter seemed to tickle his fancy more than 
 anything; nor was he altogether inattentive to the appearance 
 which the Duke of Lerma made in this undignified farce of state. 
 
 When I had finished my story, the count gave me leave to depart, 
 with an assurance that on the next day he would not fail to make
 
 608 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 trial of my talents for business. I ran immediately to the family 
 hotel of Zuniga, to thank Don Balthasar for his good offices, and to 
 acquaint my friend Joseph with the favorable dispositions of the 
 prime minister, and my brilliant prospects in consequence. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE PRIVATE CONVERSATION OF GIL BLAS WITH NAVARRO. HIS FIRST 
 EMPLOYMENT IN THE SERVICE OF THE COUNT D'OLIVAREZ. 
 
 WITH much trepidation of spirits, I told Joseph, as soon as I 
 encountered him, what a world of topics I had to deposit 
 in his private ear. He took me where we might be alone, when I 
 asked him, after having communicated a key to the whole transac- 
 tion up to the present time, what he thought of the business as it 
 stood. " I think," answered he, " that you are in a fair way to make 
 an enormous fortune. Everything turns out according to your 
 wishes : you have made yourself acceptable to the prime minister ; 
 and what must be taken for something in the account, I can render 
 you the same service as my uncle Melchior de la Eonda, when you 
 attached yourself to the archiepiscopal establishment of Granada. 
 He spared you the trouble of finding out the weak side of that pre- 
 late and his principal officers, by discovering their different charac- 
 ters to you ; and it is my purpose, after his example, to bring you 
 perfectly acquainted with the count, his lady countess, and their 
 only daughter, Donna Maria de Guzman. 
 
 " The minister's parts are quick, his judgment penetrating, and 
 his talents altogether calculated for the formation of extensive pro- 
 jects. He affects the credit of universal genius, on the strength of 
 a showy smattering in general science ; so that there is no subject, 
 in his own opinion, too difficult to be decided on his mere authority. 
 He sets himself up for a practical lawyer, a complete general, and a 
 politician of thorough-paced sagacity. Add to all this, that he is 
 so obstinately wedded to his own opinions as unchangeably to per- 
 severe in the path of his own chalking out, to the absolute contempt 
 ot better advice, for fear of seeming to be influenced by any good 
 sense or intelligence but what he would be thought to engross in 
 the resources of his own mind. Between ourselves, this blot in his 
 character may produce strange consequences, which it may be well 
 for the monarchy should indulgent Heaven for the defect of human
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 609 
 
 means avert ! As for his talents in council, he shines in debate by 
 the force of natural eloquence, and would write as well as he speaks 
 if he did not injudiciously affect a certain dignity of style, which 
 degenerates into affectation, quaintness, and obscurity. His modes 
 of thinking are peculiar to himself; he is capricious in conduct and 
 visionary in design. Here you have the picture of his mind, the 
 light and shade of his intellectual merits : the qualities of his heart 
 and disposition remain to be delineated. He is generous and warm 
 in his friendships. It is said that he is revengeful; but would he 
 be a Spaniard if he were otherwise ? In addition to this, he has 
 been accused of ingratitude, for having driven the Duke of Uzeda 
 and Friar Lewis Aliaga into banishment, though he owed them, 
 according to common report, obligations of the most binding nature ; 
 and yet even this must not be looked into so narrowly under his 
 circumstances : there are few breasts capacious enough to afford 
 houseroom for two such opposite inmates as political ambition and 
 gratitude. 
 
 " Donna Agnes de Zuniga 6 Velasco, Countess of Olivarez," c6n- 
 tinued Joseph, " is a lady to whom it is impossible to impute more 
 than one fault, but that is a huge one ; for it consists in making a 
 market, and a market the most exorbitant in its terms, of her 
 natural influence over the mind of her husband. As for Donna 
 Maria de Guzman, who beyond all dispute is at this moment the 
 very first match in Spain, she is a lady of first-rate accomplish- 
 ments, and absolutely idolized by her father. Regulate your con- 
 duct upon these hints : make your court with art and plausibility 
 to these two ladies, and let it appear as if you were more devoted to 
 the Count of Olivarez than ever you were to the Duke of Lerma 
 before your forced excursion to Segovia ; you will become a leading 
 and powerful member of the administration. 
 
 " I should advise you, moreover," added he, " to see my master, 
 Don Balthasar, from time to time; for though you have no longer 
 any occasion for his interest to push you forward, it will not be 
 amiss to waste a little incense upon him. You stand very high in 
 his good opinion ; preserve your footing there, and cultivate his 
 friendship ; it may stand you in some stead on any emergency." I 
 could not help observing that, as the uncle and nephew were in a 
 certain sort partners in the government of the state, there might 
 possibly be some little symptom of jealousy between brothers near 
 the throne. "On the contrary," answered he, "they are united by 
 the most confidential ties. Had it not been for Don Balthasar, the 
 Count of Olivarez might probably never have been prime minister; 
 for you are to know that after Philip the Third had paid the debt 
 of nature, all the adherents and partisans belonging to the house of 
 39
 
 610 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 Sandoval made a great stir, some in favor of the cardinal, and 
 others on his son's behalf; but my master, a greater adept in court 
 intrigue than any of them, and the count, who is nearly as great an 
 adept as himsel-f, disconcerted all their measures, and took their 
 own so judiciously for the purpose of stepping into the vacant place 
 that their rivals had no chance against them. The Count of Oliva- 
 rez, being appointed prime minister, divided the duties with his 
 uncle, Don Balthasar; leaving foreign affairs to him, and taking 
 the home department to himself: the consequence is, that the bonds 
 of family friendship are drawn closer between these two noblemen 
 than if political influence had no share in their mutual interests :' 
 they are perfectly independent in their respective lines of business, 
 and live together on terms of good understanding which no intrigue 
 can possibly affect or alter." 
 
 Such was the substance of my conversation with Joseph, and the 
 advantage to be derived from it was my own to make the most of: 
 at all events, it was my duty to thank Signer de Zuniga for all the 
 influence he had the goodness to exert in my favor. He assured 
 me with infinite good-breeding that he should avail himself of every 
 opportunity as it arose to promote my wishes, and that he was very 
 glad his nephew had behaved so as to meet my ideas, because he 
 meant to refresh his memory in my behalf, being determined, as he 
 was pleased to say, to place it beyond all manner of doubt how far 
 he himself participated in all my views, and to make it evident 
 that, instead of one fast friend, I had two. In terms like these did 
 Don Balthasar, through mere friendship for Navarro, take the 
 moulding of my fortunes on himself. 
 
 On that same evening did I leave my paltry lodging to take up 
 my abode at the prime minister's, where I sat down to supper with 
 Scipio in my own suite of apartments. There were we both waited 
 on by the servants belonging to the household, who, as they stood 
 behind our chairs, while we were affecting the pomp and circum- 
 stance of political elevation, were more likely than not to be laugh- 
 ing in their sleeves at the pantomime they had been ordered by 
 their manager to play in our presence. When they had taken away 
 and left us to ourselves, my secretary, being no longer under re- 
 straint, gave vent to a thousand wild imaginations which his 
 sprightly temper and inventive hopes engendered in his fancy. On 
 my part, though by no means cold or insensible to the brilliant 
 prospects which were opening on my view, I did not as yet yield 
 in the least degree to the weakness of being thrust aside from the 
 right line of my philosophy by temporal allurements. So much 
 otherwise, that on going to bed I fell into a sound sleep, without 
 being haunted in my dreams by those phantoms of flattering delu-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 611 
 
 sion which might have gained admittance with no severe question 
 from a corruptible door-keeper. The ambitious Scipio, on the con- 
 trary, tossed and tumbled all night in the agitation of wretched 
 contrivance. Whenever he dozed a little imp took possession of 
 his brain, with a pen behind its ear, working out by all the rules 
 of arithmetic the bulky sum total of his daughter Seraphina's mar- 
 riage portion. 
 
 No sooner had I got my clothes on the next morning than a 
 message came from his lordship. I flew like lightning at the sum- 
 mons, when his excellency said, " Now, then, Santillane, suppose 
 you give us a specimen of your talents for business. You say that 
 the Duke of Lerma used to give you state papers to bring into 
 official form ; and I have one, by way of experiment, on which you 
 shall try your skill. The subject you will easily comprehend : it 
 turns upon an exposition of public affairs, such as to throw an 
 artificial light on the first appearance of the new ministry, and to 
 prejudice the public in its favor. I have already whispered it about 
 by my emissaries that every department of the state was completely 
 disorganized, that the talents which preceded us were no talents at 
 all ; and the object at present is to impress both court and city, by 
 a formal declaration, with the idea that our aid is absolutely neces- 
 sary to save the monarchy itself from sinking. On this theme you 
 may expatiate till the populace become lockjawed with astonish- 
 ment, and the sober part of the public are gravely argued out of all 
 prepossession in favor of the discarded party. By way of contrast, 
 you will talk of the dignus vindice nodus, taking care to translate it 
 into Spanish ; and boast of the measures adopted, under the new 
 order of things, to secure the permanent glory of the king's reign, 
 to give perpetual prosperity to his dominions, and to confer per- 
 fect, unchangeable happiness on his good people." 
 
 His lordship, having given out the general subject of my thesis, 
 left me with a paper containing the heads of charges, whether just 
 or unjust, against the late administration ; and I remember perfectly 
 well that there were ten articles, whose lightest word, even of the 
 lightest article, would harrow up the soul of a true Spaniard, and 
 make his knotted and combined locks to part. That the current of 
 my fancy might experience no interruption, he shut me into a little 
 closet near his own, where the spirit of poetry might possess me in 
 all its freedom and independence. My best faculties were called 
 forth to compose a statement of affairs commensurate with my own 
 concern in the sweeping of the new brooms. My first object was to 
 lay open the nakedness and abandonment of the kingdom; the 
 finances in a state of bankruptcy, the civil list and immediate re- 
 sources of the crown pawned _fifty times over, the navy unpaid, dis-
 
 612 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 mantled, and iu mutiny. All this hideous delineation was referred 
 for its justice and accuracy to the wrongheadeduess and stupidity 
 of government at the close of the last reign, and the doctrine most 
 strongly enforced that unexampled wisdom and patriotism only 
 could ward off the fatal consequences. In short, the monarchy 
 could only be sustained on the shoulders of our political sufficiency 
 and reforming prudence. The ex-ministry were so cruelly bela- 
 bored that the Duke of Lerma's ruin, according to the terms of my 
 syllogism, was the salvation of Spain. To own the truth, though 
 my professions were in the spirit of Christian charity towards that 
 nobleman, I was not sorry to give him a sly rub in the exercise of 
 my function. man ! man! what a compound of candor-breathing 
 satire and splenetic impartiality art thou ! 
 
 Towards the conclusion, having finished my frightful portraiture 
 of overhanging evils, I endeavored to allay the storm my art had 
 raised, by making futurity as bright as the past had been gloomy. 
 The Count of Olivarez was brought in at the close, like the tutelary 
 deity of an ancient commonwealth in the crisis of its fate. I prom- 
 ised more than paganism ever feigned, or chivalry fancied in the 
 wildest of its crusading projects. In a word, I so exactly executed 
 what the new minister meant that he seemed not to know his own 
 hints again, when drawn out in my emphatic and appropriate lan- 
 guage. " Santillane," said he, " do you know that this is more 
 like the composition one might expect from a secretary of state than 
 like that of a private secretary ? I can no longer be surprised that 
 the Duke of Lerma was fond of calling your talents into action. 
 Your style is concise, and by no means inelegant ; but it creeps 
 rather too much in the level paths of nature." At the same time 
 pointing out the passages which did not hit his fancy, he corrected 
 them ; and I gathered from the touches he threw in that Navarro 
 was right in saying he affected sententious wit, but mistook for it 
 quaint and stale conceits. Nevertheless, though he preferred the 
 stately, or rather the grotesque, in writing, he suffered two-thirds of 
 my performance to stand without alteration, and by way of proving 
 how entirely he was satisfied, sent me three hundred pistoles by 
 Don Raymond after dinner.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 613 
 
 CHAPTEE VI. 
 
 THE APPLICATION OF THE THREE HUNDRED PISTOLES, AND SCIPIO'S 
 COMMISSION CONNECTED WITH THEM. 
 
 THIS handsome present of the minister furnished Scipio with a 
 new subject of congratulation, by reason of our second appear- 
 ance at court. " You may remark," said he, " that fortune is pre- 
 paring a load of aggrandizement to lay on your lordship's shoulders. 
 Are you still sorry for having turned your back on solitude ? May 
 the Count of Olivarez live forever ! He is a very different sort of a 
 master from his predecessor. The Duke of Lerma, with all your 
 devotion to his service, left you to live upon suction for months, 
 without a pistole to bless yourself with ; and the count has already 
 made you a present which you could have had no reason to expect 
 but after a course of long service. 
 
 "I should very much like," added he, "that the lords of Leyva 
 should be witnesses of your great success, or at least that they 
 should be informed of it." " It is high time, indeed," answered I, 
 " and I meant to speak with you on that subject. They must doubt- 
 less be impatient to hear of my proceedings ; but I waited till my 
 fate was fixed, and till I could decide for certain whether I should 
 stay at court or not. Now that I am sure of my destination, you 
 have only to set out for Valencia whenever you please, and to 
 acquaint those noblemen with my present situation, which I con- 
 sider as their doing, since it is evident that but for them I should 
 never have resolved on my journey to Madrid." " My dear master," 
 cried the son of Bohemian accident, " what joy shall I communicate 
 by relating what has happened to you 1 Why am I not already at 
 the gates of Valencia? But I shall be there forthwith. Don 
 Alphonso's two horses are ready in the stable. I shall take one of 
 my lord's livery servants with me. Besides that company is pleas- 
 ant on the road, you know very well the effect of official parade in 
 making impression on the natives of a provincial town." 
 
 I could not help laughing at my secretary's foolish vanity; and 
 yet, with vanity perhaps more than equal to his own, I left him to 
 do as he pleased. "Go about your business," said I, "and make 
 the best of your way back, for I have another commission to give 
 you. I mean to send you to the Asturias with some money for my 
 mother. Through neglect, I have suffered the time to elapse when 
 I promised to remit her a hundred pistoles, and pledged you to 
 make the payment in person. Such engagements ought to be held 
 sacred by a son ; and I reproach myself with inaccuracy in the
 
 614 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 observance of mine." "Sir," answered Scipio, " within six weeks 
 I shall bring you an account of both your commissions, having 
 opened my budget to the lords of Leyva, looked in at your country- 
 house, and taken a peep at the town of Oviedo, the recollection of 
 which I cannot admit into my mind without turning over three- 
 fourths of the inhabitants, and one-half of the remaining quarter, to 
 the corrective discipline of that infernal executioner who is sup- 
 posed to be kept on foot for the purpose of castigating sinners." I 
 then counted down one hundred pistoles to that same son of a wan- 
 dering mother for my honored parent's annuity, and another hun- 
 dred for himself, meaning that he should perform his long journey 
 without grumbling on my account by the way. 
 
 Some days after his departure, his lordship sent our memorial to 
 press, and it was no sooner published than it became the topic of 
 conversation in every circle throughout Madrid. The people, 
 enamored of novelty, took up this well-written statement of their 
 own wretchedness with fond partiality ; the derangement and ex- 
 haustion of the finances, painted with a mixture of truth and 
 poetry, excited a strong feeling of popular indignation against the 
 Duke of Lerma; and if these paper bullets of the brain, cast in the 
 political armory of a rival, failed to carry victory with them in the 
 opinions of all mankind, they were, at all events, hailed with tri- 
 umph by the most clamorous of our own partisans. As for the 
 magnificent promises which the Count of Olivarez threw in, and 
 among others that of keeping the machine of state in motion by a 
 system of economy, without adding to the public burdens, they were 
 caught at with avidity by the citizens at large, and considered as 
 pledges of an enlightened and patriotic policy, so that the whole 
 city resounded with the acclamation of panegyric and congratula- 
 tion on the opening of new prospects. 
 
 The minister, delighted to have attained his end so easily, which 
 in that publication had only been to draw popularity upon himself, 
 was now determined to seize the substance as well as catch at the 
 shadow, by an act of unquestionable credit with the subject, and 
 high utility to the king's service. For that purpose he had recourse 
 to the Emperor Galba's contrivance, consisting in a forced regurgi- 
 tation of ill-gotten spoils from individuals who had made large for- 
 tunes hell and their own consciences best knew how in the 
 superintendence of the royal expenditure. When he had squeezed 
 these sponges till they were dry again, and had filled the king's cof- 
 fers with the drainings, he undertook to render the reform perma- 
 nent by abolishing all pensions, not excepting his own, and curtail- 
 ing the gratuities too frequently bestowed on favorites out of the 
 prince's privy purse. To succeed in this design, which he could not
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 615 
 
 carry into effect without changing the face of the government, he 
 charged me with the composition of a new state paper, furnishing 
 the substance and the form from his own idea. He then advised me 
 to raise my style as much as possible above the level of the ordinary 
 simplicity, and to give an air of more eloquence to my phraseology. 
 "A hint is sufficient, my lord," said I; "your excellency wishes t" 
 unite sublimity with illumination, and it shall be so." I shut im 
 self up in the same closet where I had already worked so succes i 
 fully, and sat down stiffly to my task, first calling to my aid tin., 
 lofty and clear perceptions, the noble and sonorous expressions of 
 my old instructor, the Archbishop of Granada. 
 
 I began by laying it down as a first maxim of political philosophy 
 that the vital functions, the respiration, as it were, of all monarchy, 
 depended on the strict administration of the finances ; that in our 
 particular case, that duty became imperiously urgent, irresistibly 
 impressing on our consciences ; and that the revenue should be con- 
 sidered as the nerves and sinews of Spain, to hold her rivals in check 
 and keep her enemies in awe. After this general declaration, I 
 pointed out to the sovereign for to him the memorial was ad- 
 dressed that by cutting down all pensions and perquisites depend- 
 ent on the ordinary income, he would not thereby deprive himself 
 of that truly royal pleasure, a princely munificence towards those of 
 his subjects who had established a fair claim to his favors ; because, 
 without drawing upon his treasury, he had the means of distributing, 
 more acceptable rewards ; that for one branch of service, there were 
 viceroyalties, lieutenancies, orders of merit, and all sorts of military 
 commissions ; for another, high judicial situations with salaries an- 
 nexed, civil offices of magistracy with sounding titles to give them 
 consequence ; and though last, not least, all the temporal possessions 
 of the church to animate the piety of its spiritual pastors. 
 
 This memorial, which was much longer than the first, occupied 
 me nearly three days ; but as luck would have it, my performance 
 was exactly to my master's mind, who, finding it written with sen- 
 tentious cogency, and bristled up with metaphors in the declamatory 
 oarts, complimented me in the highest terms. "That is vastly well 
 expressed indeed," said he, laying- his finger on a passage here and 
 there, and picking out all the most inflated sentences he could find : 
 " that language bears the stamp of fine composition, and might pass 
 for the production of a classic. Courage, my friend ! I foresee that 
 your services will be worth their weight in gold." And yet, not- 
 withstanding the applauses he lavished on my classical composition, 
 a few of his own heightening touches, he thought, would make it 
 read still better. He put a good deal of his own stuff into it, and 
 the medley was manufactured into a piece of eloquence which wan
 
 616 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 considered as unanswerable by the king and all the court. The 
 whole city joined in opinion with the higher orders, deriving the 
 most flattering hopes of the future from these grand promises, and 
 concluding that the monarchy must recover its pristine splendor 
 during the ministry of so illustrious a character. His excellency, 
 finding that iny sermon on economy was fraught with practical in- 
 ferences of utility to him, was kind enough to wish that I should 
 profit by the exercise of my own talents. In conformity therefore 
 with his new system of patronage, he gave me an annuity of five 
 hundred crowns on the commandery of Castille ; and the acceptance 
 of it was so much the more palatable, as no dirty work had been done 
 for it, but it was honestly though cheaply earned. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 GIL BLAS MEETS WITH HIS FRIEND FABRICIO ONCE MORE. THE CIR- 
 CUMSTANCES DESCRIBED. 
 
 ~~V1~OTHING gave his lordship greater pleasure than to hear the 
 1 \l general decision of Madrid on the conduct of his administra- 
 tion. Not a day passed but he inquired what they were saying of 
 him in the political world. He kept spies in pay, to bring him an 
 exact account of what was going on in the city. They particularized 
 the most trivial discourses which they overheard ; and their orders 
 being to suppress nothing, his self-love was grazed now and then, 
 for the people have a way of ^bolting out home truths, without any 
 nice calculation where they may glance. 
 
 Finding that the count loved political small talk, I made it my 
 business to frequent places of public resort after dinner, and to chime 
 in with the conversation of genteel people whenever opportunity 
 offered. Should the measures of government happen to be canvassed 
 among them, I pricked up my ears, and greedily took in their dis- 
 course ; if anything worth repeating was said, his excellency was 
 sure to hear of it. It can scarcely be necessary to hint that I 
 never carried home anything which was not likely to pay for the 
 porterage. 
 
 One day, returning from one of these little conversational parties, 
 my road lay in front of a hospital. It occurred to me to go in. I 
 walked through two or three wards filled with diseased patients, and 
 examined their beds to see that they were properly taken care of.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 617 
 
 Among these unhappy wretches, whom I could not look at without 
 the most painful feelings, I observed one whose features struck me: 
 it surely could be no other than Fabricio, my countryman and 
 chum ! To look at him more closely, I drew near his bedside, and 
 rinding, beyond a possibility of doubt, that it was the poet Nunez, I 
 stopped to look at him for a few seconds without saying a word. He 
 also fixed his regards on me. At length breaking silence, " Do not 
 my eyes deceive me?" said I. "Is it indeed Fabricio, and here?'' 
 " It is indeed," answered he, coldly, " and you need not wonder at 
 it. Since we parted, I have been working indefatigably at the trade 
 of an author : I have writteji novels, plays, and works of genius in 
 every department. My brain is fairly spun out, and here I am." 
 
 I could not help laughing at such a sketch of literary biography, 
 and still more at the serious air of the accompanying action. 
 " What !" cried I, " has your muse at length brought you to this 
 pass ? Has she played you such a jade's trick as this ?" " Even 
 as you witness," answered he ; " this establishment is a sort of half 
 pay receptacle for invalids on the muster-roll of disabled wit. You 
 have acted discreetly, my good friend, to lay yourself out for promo- 
 tion in a different line. But they tell me you are no longer a cour- 
 tier, and that your prospects in political life were all blasted ; nay, 
 they went so far as to affirm that you were committed to close custody 
 by the king's order." " They told you no more than the truth," 
 replied I ; " the delightful vision of political eminence wherein you 
 left me last soon shifted the scene of my incoherent dreams to a 
 prison and complete destitution. But for all that, my friend, here 
 you behold me again in a better plight than ever." " That is quite 
 out of the question," said Nunez : " your deportment is discreet and 
 decent ; you have not that supercilious and devil-take-the-hindmost 
 sort of aspect which good keep communicates to the human face." 
 " The reverses of this checkered life," replied I, " have brought me 
 down to the level of the more modest virtues ; I have taken a lesson 
 in the school of adversity, to enjoy the possession of a good stud 
 without riding the great horse." 
 
 " Tell me then candidly," cried Fabricio, raising his head upon 
 his hand with his elbow upon the pillow, "what your present occu- 
 pation can possibly be. A steward perhaps to some nobleman out 
 at elbows, or man of business to some rich widow !" " Something 
 better than either the one or the other," rejoined I; "but excuse 
 me from saying more at present: another time your curiosity shall 
 be satisfied. It is enough at present to assure you that iny means 
 are equal to my inclination, and that you may command indepen- 
 dence through me; but then you must submit to an embargo on 
 your wit, and a non-intercourse act between you and the faculty of
 
 618 ADVENTURES OF GIL PL AS. 
 
 writing, whether in verse or prose. Can you make this sacrifice to 
 my friendship ?" " I have already made it to the powers above," 
 said he, " in my last critical sickness. A Dominican made me 
 forswear poetry, as an amusement bordering on criminality, but at 
 all events beside the turnpike-road of good sense." " I wish you 
 joy, my dear Nunez," replied I ; " but beware of a revoke." "There 
 is not the least danger on that head," rejoined he : " the Muses and 
 I have agreed on terms of separation : just as you came in at that 
 door, I was conning over a farewell ode." " Good Master Fabricio," 
 said I, with a wise swagging to and fro of my head, " it is a doubt- 
 ful question whether your vow of abjuration ought to pass current 
 with the Dominican and myself: you seem over head and ears in 
 love with those virgins incarnate." "No, no," contended he, 
 peevishly; "I have cut. the connection asunder. Nay, more, I 
 have quarrelled with their keepers, the public. The readers of 
 these days do not deserve an author of more genius than them- 
 selves : I should be sorry to write down to their comprehension. 
 You are not to suppose that this is the language of disgust ; it is my 
 sincere and well-weighed opinion. Applause and hisses are just the 
 same to me. It is a toss-up who fails and who succeeds: the wit 
 of to-day is the blockhead of to-morrow. What cursed fools our 
 dramatists must be, to care for anything but their poundage when 
 their plays happen to be received I It is all very well for a few 
 nights ! But only fancy a revival at the end of twenty years, and 
 what a figure they will cat then! The audiences of the present 
 day turn up their noses at the stock pieces of the last age, and it is 
 a question whether their taste will fare better with their more 
 critical descendants. If that conjecture be probable, the inventors 
 of clap-traps now wijl be the butt of cat-calls hereafter. It is just 
 the same with novel writers, and all other manufacturers of un- 
 necessary literature ; they strut and fret for an hour, and then are 
 no more seen or heard of. The glories of successful authorship are 
 the mere vapors of a murky atmosphere, meteors of a marsh, foul 
 coruscations of a dunghill, cathedral tapers to put out the galaxy, 
 blue flames of coarse paper held over a candle." 
 
 Though these caricatures of rival renown were the mere creations 
 of jealousy in the poet of the Asturias, it was not my business to 
 correct his ill temper. "I am delighted," said I,. "that wit and 
 you have had so serious a quarrel, and that the diarrhosa of your in- 
 ventive faculties has been cured by an astringent. You may depend 
 on it, I will put you in the way of a good livelihood, without draw- 
 ing deep upon your intellectual credit." "So much the better," 
 cried he; "wit smells like carrion in my nostrils, or rather like a 
 pungent and deleterious perfume ; fragrant to the sense, but corro-
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 619 
 
 sive to the vitals." "I heartily wish, my dear Fabricio," resumed 
 I, "that you may always keep in that mind. Only wash your 
 hands completely of poetry, and, you may depend on it, I will 
 enable you to keep your head above water without picking or 
 stealing. In the meanwhile," added I, slipping a purse of sixty pis- 
 toles into his hand, " accept this as a slight instance of my regard." 
 " O friend like the friends in days of yore," cried the son of the 
 barber Nunez, out of his wits with joy and gratitude, "it was 
 Heaven itself which sent you into this hospital, whence your good- 
 ness is now discharging me!" Before we parted, I gave him my 
 address, and invited him to come and see me as soon as his health 
 would permit. He opened his eyes as an oyster does its shell, when 
 I told him that I lodged under the minister's roof. "O illustrious 
 Gil Bias !" said he, " great as Pompey and fortunate as Sylla, whose 
 lot it is to be hand in glove with the dictators of modern times! I 
 rejoice most disinterestedly in your good fortune, because it is so 
 very evident what a noble use you make of it." 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 BLAS PROGRESSES IN HIS MASTER'S AFFECTIONS. SCIPIO'S RETURN 
 TO MADRID; AN ACCOUNT OF HIS JOURNEY. 
 
 E Count of Olivarez, whom I shall henceforth call my lord 
 JL duke, because the king was pleased to confer that dignity on 
 him about this time, was affected with a weakness which I did not 
 suffer to pass without taking toll ; it was a furious desire of being 
 beloved. The moment he fancied that any one really liked him, 
 his heart was caught in a trap. This was not lost upon my keen 
 sense of character. It was not enough to do precisely as he ordered ; 
 I superadded a zeal in the execution which made him mine. I laid 
 myself out .to his liking in everything, and provided beforehand for 
 his most eccentric wishes. 
 
 By conduct like this, which almost always answers, I became by 
 degrees my master's favorite ; and he, on the other hand, as if he 
 had got round to my blind side also, wormed himself into my affec- 
 tions by giving me his own. So forward did I get into his good 
 graces as to halve his confidence with Signer Carnero, his principal 
 secretary. 
 
 Carnero had played my game, and that so successfully as to be
 
 620 ADVENTURES OF dlL JiLAS. 
 
 entrusted with the greater mysteries. We two, therefore, were the 
 keepers of the prime minister's conscience, and held the keys of all 
 his secrets ; with this difference, that Carnero was consulted on state 
 affairs, myself about his private concerns, dividing the business into 
 two separate departments; and we were each of us equally pleased 
 with our own. We lived together without jealousy, and certainly 
 without attachment. I had every reason to be satisfied with my 
 quarters, where continual intercourse gave me an opportunity of 
 p'rying into the duke's inmost soul, which was a masked battery to 
 all mankind besides, but plain as a pike-staff to me, when he no 
 longer questioned the sincerity of my attachment to him. 
 
 " Santillane," said he one day, "you were witness to the Duke of 
 Lerma's possession of an authority more like that of an absolute 
 monarch than a favorite minister ; and yet I am still happier than 
 he was at the very summit of his good fortune. He had two formi- 
 dable enemies in his own son, the Duke of Uzeda, and in the con- 
 fessor of Philip the Third ; but there is no one now about the king 
 who has credit enough to stand in my way, or even, as I am aware, 
 the slightest inclination to do me mischief. 
 
 " It is true," continued he, " that on my accession to the ministry, 
 it was my first care to remove all hangers-on from about the prince 
 but those of my own family or connections. By means of vice- 
 royalties or embassies I got rid of all the nobility who, by their 
 personal merit, could have interfered with me in the good graces of 
 the sovereign, whom I mean to engross entirely to myself; so that 
 I may say at the present moment, no statesman of the time holds 
 me in check by the ascendency of his personal influence. You see, 
 Gil Bias, I open my mind to you. As I have reason to think that 
 you are mine, heart and soul, I have chosen to put you in possession 
 of everything. You are a clever youth, with reflection, penetration, 
 and discretion ; in short, you are just the very creature to acquit 
 yourself of all possible little offices in all possible directions ; you 
 are also a young fellow of very promising parts, and must, in the 
 nature of things, be in my interests." 
 
 There was no standing the attack which these flattering represen- 
 tations were calculated to make upon the weakly-defended fortress 
 of my philosophy. Unauthorized whims of avarice and ambition 
 mounted suddenly into my head, and brought forward certain senti- 
 ments of political speculation which were supposed to have been in 
 abeyance. I gave the minister an assurance that I should fulfill his 
 intentions to the utmost of my power, and held myself in readiness 
 to execute, without examination or interference, all the orders it 
 might be his pleasure to give me. 
 
 While I was thus disposed to take Fortune in her affable fit, Scipio
 
 ADVENTUKES OF GIL BLAS. 621 
 
 returned from his peregrination. " I have no long story for you," 
 said he. "The lords of Leyva were delighted at your reception 
 from the king, and at the manner in which the Count of Olivarez 
 and you came to understand one another." 
 
 " My friend," said I, " you would have delighted them still more 
 had you been able to tell them on what a footing I am now with 
 my lord. My advances since your departure have been prodigious." 
 "Happy man be his dole, my dear master," answered he: "my 
 mind forebodes that we shall cut a figure." 
 
 " Let us change the subject," said I, " and talk of Oviedo. You 
 have been in the Asturias. How did you leave my mother?" "Ah, 
 sir I" replied he, with an undertaker's decency of countenance, " I 
 have a melancholy tale to tell you from that quarter." " Oh, 
 heaven !" exclaimed I, " my mother, then, is dead !" " Six months 
 since," said my secretary, " did the good lady pay the debt of nature, 
 and your uncle, Signor Gil Perez, about the same period." 
 
 My mother's death preyed upon my susceptible nature, though in 
 my childhood I had not received from her those little fondling indi- 
 cations of maternal love so necessary to amalgamate with the more 
 serious convictions of filial duty. The good canon, too, came in for 
 his share in bringing me up according to the rules of godliness and 
 honesty. My serious grief was not lasting ; but I never lost sight 
 of a certain tender recollection, whenever the Idea of my dear rela- 
 tions shot across my mind. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 HOW MY LORD DUKE MARRIED HIS ONLY DAUGHTER, AND TO WHOM. 
 THE BITTER CONSEQUENCES OK THAT MARRIAGE. 
 
 YERY shortly after the son of Cosclina's return, my lord duke 
 fell into a brown study, and it lasted a complete week. I 
 conceived, of course, that he was brooding over some great measure 
 of government ; but family concerns were the object of his musings. 
 " Gil Bias," said he one day after dinner, " you may perceive that 
 my mind is a good deal distracted. Yes, my good friend, I am pon- 
 dering over an affair of the utmost consequence to my feelings. You 
 shall know all about it. 
 
 " My daughter, Donna Maria," pursued he, " is marriageable, and 
 of course beset with suitors. The Count de Niebles, eldest son of
 
 622 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 the Duke de Medina Sidonia, head of the Guzman family, and Don 
 Lewis de Haro, eldest son of the Marquis de Carpio and my eldest 
 sister, are the two most likely competitors. The latter, in particular, 
 is superior in point of merit to all his rivals, so that the whole court 
 has fixed on him for my son-in-law. Nevertheless, without entering 
 into private motives for treating him, as well as the Count de Nie- 
 bles, with a refusal, my present views are fixed upon Don Ramires 
 Nunez de Guzman, Marquis of Toral, head of the Guzmans d'Abra- 
 dos, another branch of the family. To that nobleman and his pro- 
 geny, by my daughter, I mean to leave all my property, and to 
 entail on them the title of Count d'Olivarez, with the additional 
 dignity of grandee ; so that my grandchildren and their descendants, 
 issue of the Abrados and Olivarez branch, will be considered as 
 taking precedence in the house of Guzman. 
 
 " Tell me now, Santillane," added he, " do you not like my pro- 
 ject?" " Excuse me, my lord," pleaded I, with a shrug; "the de- 
 sign is worthy of the genius which gave birth to it : my only fear is 
 lest the Duke of Medina Sidonia should think fit to be out of humor 
 at it." " Let him take it as he list," resumed the minister; "I give 
 myself very little concern about that. His branch is no favorite 
 with me : they have choused that of Abrados out of their precedence 
 and many of their privileges. I shall be far less affected by his ill 
 humors than by the 'disappointment of my sister, the Marchioness 
 de Carpio, when she sees my daughter slip through her son's fingers. 
 But let that be as it may, I am determined to please myself, and Don 
 Ramires shall be the man ; it is a settled point." 
 
 My lord duke having announced this firm resolve, did not carry it 
 into effect without giving a new proof of his singular policy. He 
 presented a memorial to the king, entreating him and the queen, in 
 concert, to do him the honor of taking the choice of a husband for 
 his daughter on themselves, at the same time acquainting them with 
 the pretensions of the suitors, and professing to abide by their elec- 
 tion ; but he took care, when naming the Marquis de Toral, to 
 evince clearly whither his own wishes pointed. The king, there- 
 fore, with a blind deference for his minister, answered thus : 
 
 " I think that Don Ramires Nunez deserves Donna Maria ; but 
 determine for yourself. The match of your own choosing will be 
 most agreeable to me. 
 
 "THE KING." 
 
 The minister made a point of showing this answer everywhere ; 
 and affecting to consider it as a royal mandate, hastened his daugh- 
 ter's marriage with the Marquis de Toral ; a death-blow to the
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 623 
 
 hopes of the Marchioness de Carpio and the rest of the Guzmans 
 who had been speculating on an alliance with Donna Maria. These 
 rival players of a losing game, not being able to break off the match, 
 put the best face they could upon it, and made the fashionable 
 world resound with their costly celebrations of the event. A super- 
 ficial observer might have fancied that the whole family was de- 
 lighted with the arrangement ; but the pouters and ill-wishers were 
 soon revenged most cruelly at my lord duke's expense. Donna 
 Maria was brought to bed of a daughter at the end of ten months ; 
 the infant was still-born, and the mother died a few days afterwards. 
 What a loss for a father who had no eyes, as one may say, but for 
 his daughter, and in her loss felt the miscarriage of his design to 
 quash the right of precedence in the branch of Medina Sidonia 1 
 Stung to the quick by his misfortune, he shut himself up for several 
 days, and was visible to no one but myself a sincere sympathizer, 
 from the recollection of my own experience in his sorrow. The occa- 
 sion drew forth fresh tears to Antonia's memory. The death of the 
 Marchioness de Toral, under circumstances so similar, tore open a 
 wound imperfectly skinned over, and so exasperated my affliction, 
 that the minister, though he had enough to do with his own suffer- 
 ings, could not help taking notice of mine. It seemed unaccount- 
 able how exactly his feelings were echoed. " Gil Bias," said he, 
 one day, when my tears seemed to feed upon indulgence, "my 
 greatest consolation consists in having a bosom friend so much alive 
 to all my distresses." " Ah ! my lord," answered I, giving him the 
 full credit of my amiable tenderness, " I must be ungrateful and de- 
 generate in my nature if I did not lament as for myself. Can I be 
 aware that you mourn over a daughter of accomplished merit, whom 
 you loved so tenderly, without shedding tears of fellow-feeling? No, 
 my lord, I am too much naturalized to you on the side of obligation 
 not to take a permanent interest in all your pleasures and disap- 
 pointments." 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 GIL BLAS MEETS WITH THE POET NUNEZ BY ACCIDENT, AND LEARNS 
 THAT HE HAS WRITTEN A TRAGEDY. 
 
 ri "1HE minister began to pick up his crumbs, and myself conse- 
 JL quently to get into feather again, when one evening I went out 
 alone in the carriage to take an airing. On the road I met the poet
 
 C24 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 of the Asturias, who had been lost to my knowledge ever since his 
 discharge from the hospital. He was very decently dressed. I called 
 him up, gave him a seat in my carriage, and we drove together to 
 St. Jerome's meadow. 
 
 "Master Nunez," said I, "it is lucky for me to have met you acci- 
 dentally; for otherwise I should not have had the pleasure." . . . 
 "No severe speeches, Santillane," interrupted he with considerable 
 eagerness; "I must own frankly that I did not mean to keep up 
 your acquaintance, and I will tell you the reason. You promised 
 me a good situation provided I abjured poetry; but I have found a 
 very excellent one on condition of keeping my talents in constant 
 play. I accepted the latter alternative, as squaring best with my 
 own humor. A friend of mine got me an employment under Don 
 Bertrand Gomez del Eibero, treasurer of the king's galleys. This 
 Don Bertrand, wanting to have a wit in his pay, and finding my 
 turn for poetical composition very much in unison with his own 
 sense of what is excellent, has chosen me in preference to five or six 
 authors who offered themselves as candidates for the place of his 
 private secretary." 
 
 " I am delighted at the news, my dear Fabricio," said I, " for this 
 Don Bertrand must be very rich." " Eich indeed !" answered he ; 
 " they say that he does not know himself how much he is worth. 
 However that may be, my business under him is as follows : He 
 prides himself on his turn for gallantry, at the same time wishing 
 to pass for a man of genius ; he therefore keeps up an epistolary 
 intercourse of wit with several ladies who have an infinite deal, and 
 borrows my brain to indite such letters as may amplify the opinion 
 of his sprightliness and elegance. I write to one for him in verse, 
 to another in prose, and sometimes carry the letters myself, to 
 prove the agility of my heels as well as the ingenuity of my 
 head." 
 
 " But you do not tell me," said I, " what I most want to know. 
 Are you well paid for your epigrammatic cards of compliment ?" 
 " Yes, most plentifully," answered he. " Eich men are not always 
 open-handed ; and I know some who are downright curmudgeons ; 
 but Don Bertrand has behaved in the most handsome manner. 
 Besides a salary of two hundred pistoles, I receive some little occa- 
 sional perquisites from him, sufficient to set me above the world, 
 and enable me to live on an equal footing with some choice spirits 
 of the literary circles, who are willing, like myself, to set care at 
 defiance." " But then," resumed I, " has your treasurer critical 
 skill enough to distinguish the beauties of a performance from its 
 blemishes ?" " The least likely man in the world," answered Nunez ; 
 "a flippant-tongued smatterer, with a miserable assortment of
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 625 
 
 materials for judging. Yet he gives himself out for chief justice 
 and lord president of Apollo's tribunal. His decisions are advent- 
 urous, if not always lucky ; while his opinions are maintained in 
 so high a tone and with so bullying a challenge of infallibility, that 
 nine times out of ten the issue of an argument is silence, though 
 not conviction, on the part of the opponent, as a measure of pre- 
 caution against the gathering storm of foul language and contempt- 
 uous sneers. 
 
 " You may readily suppose," continued he, " that I take especial 
 care never to contradict him, though it almost exceeds human pa- 
 tience to forbear ; for, to say nothing of the unpalatable phrases 
 that might be hailed down on my defenceless head, I should stand 
 a very good chance of being shoved by the shoulders out of doors. 
 I therefore am discreet enough to approve what he praises, and to 
 condemn without mitigation or appeal whatever he is pleased to find 
 fault with. By this easy compliance for poets are compelled to 
 acquire a knack of knocking under to those by whom they live, not 
 even excepting their booksellers I have gained the esteem and 
 friendship of my patron. He has employed me to write a tragedy 
 on a plot of his own. I have executed it under his inspection ; and 
 if the piece succeeds, a percentage of the laud and honor must 
 accrue to him." 
 
 I asked our poet what was the title of his tragedy. He informed 
 me that it was " The Count of Saldagna," and that it would come 
 out in two or three days. I told him that I wished it all possible 
 success, and thought so favorably of his genius as to entertain con- 
 siderable hopes. " So do I," said he ; " but hope never tells a more 
 flattering tale than in the ear of a dramatic author. You might as 
 well attempt to fix the wind by nailing the weathercock as specu- 
 late on the reception of a new piece with an audience." 
 
 At length the day of performance arrived. I could not go to the 
 play, being prevented by official business. The only thing to be 
 done was to send Scipio, that he might bring me back word how it 
 went off, for I was sincerely interested in the event. After waiting 
 impatiently for his return, in he came with a long face, which boded 
 no good. " Well," said I, " how was ' The Count of Saldagna' wel- 
 comed by the critics?" "Very roughly," answered he; "never 
 was there a play more brutally handled ; I left the house in high 
 anger at the injustice and insolence of the pit." " It serves him 
 right," rejoined I. "Nunez is no better than a madman, to be 
 always running his head against the stone walls of a theatre. If 
 he was in his senses, could he have preferred the hisses and catcalls 
 of an unfeeling mob to the ease and dignity he might have com- 
 manded under my patronage?" Thus did I inveigh with friendly 
 40
 
 626 . ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 vehemence against the poet of the Asturias, and disturb the even 
 tenor of my mind for an event which the sufferer hailed with joy, 
 and inserted among the well-omened particulars of his journal. 
 
 He came to see me within two days, and appeared in high spirits. 
 "Santillane," cried he, " I am come to receive your congratulations. 
 My fortune is made, my friend, though my play is marred. You 
 know what a mistake they made on the first and last night of ' The 
 Count of Saldagna ;' hissed instead of applauding ! You would 
 have thought all the wild beasts of the forest had been let loose, 
 with their ears fortified against the softening power of poetry ; but 
 the more they bellowed, the better I fared, and they have roared me 
 into a provision for life." 
 
 There was no knowing what to make of this incident in the 
 drama of our poet's adventures. "What is all this, Fabricio?" 
 said I ; " how can theatrical damnation have conjured up such 
 Elysian ecstasy?" "It is exactly so," answered he; "I told you 
 before that Don Bertrand had thrown in some of the circumstances ; 
 and he was fully convinced that there was no defect but in the 
 taste of the spectators. They might be very good judges ; but if 
 they were, he was no judge at all ! ' Nunez,' said he this morning, 
 
 ' " Victrix causa Diis placuit, sed victa Catoni."* 
 
 Your piece has been ill received by the public ; but against that 
 you may place my entire approbation, and thus you ought to set 
 your heart at rest. By way of something to balance the bad taste 
 of the age, I shall settle an annuity of two thousand crowns on you : 
 go to my solicitor, and let him draw the deed.' We have been about 
 it : the treasurer has signed and sealed ; my first quarter is paid in 
 advance." ... 
 
 I wished Fabricio joy on the unhappy fate of "The Count of 
 Saldagna ;" and probably most authors would have envied his failure 
 more than all the successes that ever succeeded. "You are in the 
 right," continued he, " to prefer my fortune to my fame. What a 
 lucky peal of disapprobation in double choir ! If the public had 
 chosen to ring the changes on my merits rather than my misdeeds, 
 what would they have done for my pocket? A mere paltry nothing. 
 The common pay of the theatre might have kept me from starving ; 
 but the wind of popular malice has blown me a comfortable pen- 
 sion, engrossed on safe and legal parchment." 
 
 * Members of Parliament, and the ladles, will probably expect a translation of these 
 hard words; but I refer the former to their dictionaries, to which they bade a long 
 farewell on leaving Eton or Harrow, and the latter to an extended paraphrase of five 
 acts in the tragedy of Cato. Those of the softer sex who may think the Stoic phil- 
 osophy rude and uncouth will feel their nerves vibrate in unison with the love scenes. 
 TBAHSLATOR.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 627 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 SANTILLANE GIVES SCIPIO A SITUATION; THE LATTER SETS OUT FOR 
 NEW SPAIN. 
 
 MY secretary could not look at the unexpected good luck of 
 Nunez the poet without envy ; he talked of nothing else for 
 a week. "The whims of that baggage Fortune," said -he, "are 
 most unaccountable : she delights to turn her lottery wheel into the 
 lap of a sorry author, while she deals out her disappointments like 
 a stepmother to the race of good ones. I should have no objection, 
 though, if she would throw me up a prize in one of her vertical pro- 
 gresses." " That is likely enough to happen," said I, " and sooner 
 than you imagine. Here you are in her temple ; for it is scarcely 
 too presumptuous to call the house of a prime minister the temple 
 of Fortune, where favors are conferred by wholesale, and votaries 
 grow fat on the spoils of her altar." " That is very true, sir," 
 answered he ; " but we must have patience, and wait till the happy 
 moment comes." "Take my advice while it is worth having, 
 Scipio," replied I, " and make your mind easy ; perhaps you are on 
 the eve of some good appointment." And' so it turned out; for 
 within a few days an opportunity offered of employing him ad- 
 vantageously in my lord duke's service ; and I did not suffer the 
 happy moment to pass by. 
 
 I was engaged in chat one morning with Don Raymond Caporis, 
 the prime minister's steward, and our conversation turned on the 
 sources of his excellency's income. "My lord," said he, "enjoys 
 the commanderies of all the military orders, yielding a revenue of 
 forty thousand crowns a year; and he is only obliged to wear the 
 cross of Alcantara. Moreover, his three offices of great chamber- 
 lain, master of the horse, and high chancellor of the Indies, bring 
 him in an income of two hundred thousand crowns ; and yet all 
 this is nothing in comparison of the immense sums which he 
 receives through other transatlantic channels; but you will be 
 puzzled to guess how. When vessels clear out from Seville or 
 Lisbon for those parts of the world, he ships wine, oil, grain, and 
 other articles, the produce of his own estate; and his consignments 
 are duty free. With that perquisite in his pocket, he sells his mer- 
 chandise for four times its current price in Spain, and then lays out 
 the money in spices, coloring materials, and other things which 
 cost next to nothing in the new world, and are sold dear in Europe. 
 Already has he realized some millions by this traffic, without 
 detracting from the dues of his royal master.
 
 628 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 " You will easily account for it," continued he, " that the people 
 concerned in carrying on this trade return with great fortunes in 
 their pockets ; for my lord thinks it but reasonable that they should 
 divide their diligence between his business and their own." 
 
 That shrewd son of chance and opportunity, of whom we are 
 speaking, overheard our conversation, and could not help interrupt- 
 ing Don Raymond to the following purport : " Upon my word, 
 Signor Caporis, I should like to be one of those people ; for I am 
 fond of travelling, and have long wished to see Mexico." " Your 
 inclinations as a tourist shall soon be gratified," said the steward, 
 " if Signor de Santillane will not stand in the way of your wishes. 
 However particular I may think it my duty to be about the persona 
 whom I send to the West Indies in that capacity, and they are all 
 of my appointment, you shall be placed on the list at all adven- 
 tures, if your master wishes it." " You will confer on me a 
 particular favor," said I to Don Eaymond ; " be so good as to do it 
 in kindness to me. Scipio is a young fellow much in my good 
 graces, very capable in business, and will be found irreproachable 
 in his conduct. In a word, I would as soon answer for him as 
 myself." 
 
 " That being the case," replied Caporis, " he has only to ^repair 
 immediately to Seville : the ships are to sail for South America in 
 a month. I shall give him a letter at his departure for a man who 
 will put him in the way of making a fortune, without the slightest 
 interference in his excellency's dues and profits, which ought to be 
 held sacred by him." 
 
 Scipio, delighted with his berth, was in haste to set out for 
 Seville, with a thousand crowns, with which I furnished him, to 
 make purchases of wine and oil in Andalusia, and enable him to 
 trade on his own bottom in the West Indies. And yet, overjoyed 
 as he was to make a voyage, and as he hoped his fortune there- 
 withal, he could not part from me without tears ; and the separation 
 raised the waters even from my dry fountains.
 
 ADVENTUItES OF GIL BLAS. 629 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 DON ALPHONSO DE LEYVA COMES TO MADRID; THE MOTIVE OF HIS 
 JOURNEY A SEVERE AFFLICTION TO GIL BLAS. 
 
 sooner had I parted with Scipio than one of the minister's 
 pages brought me a note conceived in the following terms : 
 " If Signer de Santillane will take the trouble of calling at the sign 
 of Saint Gabriel, in the street of Toledo, he will there see a friend 
 who is not indifferent to him." 
 
 "Who can this nameless friend possibly be?" said I to myself. 
 " What can be the meaning of all this mystery ? Obviously to occa- 
 sion me the pleasure of a surprise." I attended the summons imme- 
 diately, and on rny arrival at the place appointed, was not a little 
 astonished to find Don Alphonso de Ley va there. " Is it possible !" 
 exclaimed I: "you here, my lord?" "Yes, my dear Gil Bias, 
 answered he, with a close compression of my hand in his, " it is Don 
 Alphonso himself." " Well ! but what brings you to Madrid ?" said 
 I. " You will be not a little startled," rejoined he, " and no less 
 vexed, at the occasion of my journey. They have taken my govern- 
 ment of Valencia from me, and the prime minister has sent for me 
 to give an account of ray conduct." For a whole quarter of an hour 
 I was like a man stupefied ; then, recovering the powers of speech, 
 " Of what," said I, " are you accused ?" " I know nothing at all about 
 it," answered he ; " but my disgrace is probably owing to a visit paid 
 about three weeks ago to the Cardinal Duke of Lerma, who was 
 banished about a month since to his seat at Denia." 
 
 " Yes, indeed !" cried I in a pet, " you may well attribute your 
 misfortune to that imprudent visit: there is no occasion to look out 
 for causes and effects elsewhere ; but give me leave to say that you 
 have not acted with your usual good sense, in claiming acquaintance 
 with that favorite out of favor." " The leap is taken, and the neck 
 broken," said he ; " and I have nothing to do but to make the best 
 of a bad bargain : I shall retire with my family to our paternal 
 estate at Leyva, where the remnant of my days will glide away in 
 peace and obscurity. What taunts and teases me is the requisition 
 of appearing before a haughty minister, who may receive me with 
 all the insolence of office. How humiliating to the pride of a Span- 
 iard ! And yet it is a measure of necessity ; but before the degrading 
 ceremony took place, I wan tod to talk it over with you." "Sir," 
 said I, "do not announce your arrival to the minister till I have 
 ascertained the nature of the reports to your discredit, for there are 
 few evils without a remedy. Whatever may be your alloged crimes,
 
 630 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 you will give me leave, if you please, to act in the affair as gratitude 
 and friendship shall dictate." With this assurance, I left him at his 
 iun, and promised to let him hear from me soon. 
 
 As I had taken no active part in state affairs since the -two me- 
 morials, in which my eloquence was so signally displayed, I went to 
 look for Carnero, with a view to inquire whether Don Alphonso's 
 government was really taken from him. He answered in the affir- 
 mative, but professed not to know the reason. Finding how things 
 stood, I determined to apply at headquarters, and to learn the 
 grounds of grievance from his lordship's own mouth. 
 
 My spirits were really harassed, so that there was no need of put- 
 ting on the trapping and the suits of woe to attract my lord duke's 
 notice. " What is the matter, Santillane ?" said he as soon as he saw 
 me. " I perceive a marked unhappiness on your countenance, and 
 tears just ready to trickle down your checks. Has any one behaved 
 ill to you? Tell me, and you shall have your revenge." " My lord," 
 answered I in a melancholy tone, " even though my grief would seek 
 to hide itself, it must have vent : my depair is past endurance. The 
 report goes that Don Alphonso is no longer governor of Valencia ; 
 a severer stroke could not have been inflicted on me." " What say 
 you, Gil Bias ?" replied the minister in astonishment : " what interest 
 can you take in this Don Alphonso and his government ?" On this 
 question, I detailed at length my obligations to the lords of Leyva, 
 and modestly stated my own interference with the Duke of Lerma, 
 to obtain the appointment for my friend. 
 
 When his excellency had heard me through with the most polite 
 and kind attention, he spoke thus : " Make yourself easy, Gil Bias. 
 Besides my entire ignorance of what you have just told me, I must 
 own that I considered Don Alphonso as the cardinal's creature. 
 Only put yourself in my place : was not the visit to his eminence a 
 most suspicious circumstance? Yet I am willing to believe that, 
 owing his preferment to that minister, he might have remembered 
 him in his adversity from a motive of pure gratitude. I am sorry 
 for having displaced a man who owed his elevation to you ; but if I 
 have pulled down your handiwork I can build it up again. I mean 
 to do still more than the Duke of Lerma for you. Your friend Don 
 Alphonso was only governor of Valencia ; I appoint him viceroy of 
 Arragon : you may send him word so yourself, and order him hither 
 to take the oaths." 
 
 At these words, my feelings changed from extreme grief to an 
 excess of joy, which completely caricatured the mediocrity of com- 
 mon sense, and made me utter an incoherent rhapsody of thanks: 
 but the want of method in the madness of my discourse was not 
 taken amiss ; and on my hinting that Don Alphonso was already at
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 631 
 
 Madrid, he told me that I might present him this very day. I ran 
 to the sign of Saint Gabriel, and communicated my own raptures to 
 Don Caesar's son, by informing him of his new appointment. He 
 could not believe what I told him, but found it a hard matter to 
 persuade himself that the prime minister, though likely enough to 
 be very well disposed towards me, should extend his friendship so 
 far as to dispose of viceroyalties at my instance. I carried him with 
 me to my lord duke, who received him very affably, complimented 
 him on his uniform good conduct in his government of Valencia, and 
 finished by saying that the king, considering him as qualified for a 
 higher station, had named him for the viceroyalty of Arragon. " Be- 
 sides," added he, " your family is of a rank not to disparage the 
 dignity of the office, so that the Arragonese nobility will have no 
 plea for excepting against the choice of the court." 
 
 His excellency made no mention of me, and the public was kept 
 in the dark as to my share in the business ; indeed this prudent 
 silence was lucky both, for Don Alphonso and the minister, since 
 the tongues of defamers would have been busy in taking to pieces 
 the pretensions of a viceroy who owed his preferment to my 
 patronage. 
 
 As soon as Don Caesar's son could speak with certainty of his 
 new honors, he sent off an express for Valencia with the informa- 
 tion to his father and Seraphina, who soon arrived in Madrid. 
 Their first object was to find me out, and ply me thick and three- 
 fold with acknowledgments. What a proud and affecting sight for 
 me to behold the three persons in the world nearest my heart vying 
 with each other in their testimonies of affection and gratitude ! The 
 pleasure my zeal seemed personally to give them was equal to the 
 dignity conferred on their house by the post of viceroy. They even 
 talked with me on a footing of equality, and scarcely remembered 
 my original distance or servitude in the fervor of their present feel- 
 ings. But not to dwell on unnecessary topics, D.on Alphonso hav- 
 ing taken the oaths and returned thanks, left Madrid with his 
 family to take up his abode at Saragossa. He made his public 
 entry with appropriate magnificence, and the Arragonese caused it 
 to appear, by their cordial reception, that I had a very pretty 
 knack at picking out a viceroy.
 
 632 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 GIL BLAS MEETS DON GASTON DE COGOLLOS AND DON ANDREW DE 
 TOKDESILLAS AT THE DKA WING-ROOM. 
 
 I WAS up to the hilt in joy at having so marvellously metamor- 
 phosed an ex-governor into a viceroy ; the lords of Leyva them- 
 selves were not primed and loaded so near to bursting. But very 
 soon I had another opportunity of employing my credit in the 
 beaten track of friendship ; and there is the more occasion to quote 
 these instances, that my readers may clearly discern with how dif- 
 ferent a man they are in company from that graceless Gil Bias who, 
 under the former ministry, carried on a shameless traffic in the 
 honors and emoluments of the state. 
 
 One day I was waiting in the king's antechamber, in conversation 
 with some noblemen, who, knowing me to stand well with the 
 prime minister, were not ashamed of taking me by the hand. In 
 the crowd was Don Gaston de Cogollos, whom I had left a prisoner in 
 the tower of Segovia. He was with Don Andrew de Tordesillas, the 
 warden. I readily quitted my company to go and renew my 
 acquaintance with my two friends. If they were astonished at the 
 sight of me, I was no less so to find them here. After mutual 
 greetings, Don Gaston said, " Signer de Santillane, we have many 
 inquiries to make of each other, and this place affords little oppor- 
 tunity for private intercourse ; allow me to request your company 
 where we may open our hearts freely." I made no objection. We 
 pushed our way through the crowd, and left the palace. Don Gas- 
 ton's carriage was ready waiting in the street ; we all three got into 
 it, and drove to the great market-place, where the bull-fights are 
 exhibited. There Cogollos lived in a very handsome house. 
 
 " Signor Gil Bias," said Don Andrew on our entrance, " at your 
 departure from Segovia you seemed to have conceived a thorough 
 hatred against the court, and to have formed a settled purpose of 
 abandoning it forever." " Such was, in fact, my design," answered 
 I ; " nor were my sentiments at all changed during the lifetime of 
 the late king ; but when the prince his son came to the throne, I 
 had a mind to see whether the new monarch would know me again. 
 He did so, and received me favorably, with a strong recommenda- 
 tion to the prime minister, who admitted me to his friendship, and 
 took me more into his confidence than ever did the Duke of Lerma. 
 This, Signor Don Andrew, is my story. And now tell me whether 
 you still bold your office in the tower of Segovia." "No, indeed," 
 answered he ; " my lord duke has removed me, and put another in
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 633 
 
 my room. He probably considered me as entirely devoted to his 
 predecessor." " And I," said Don Gaston, " was set at liberty for 
 the contrary reason. The prime minister was no sooner informed 
 that my imprisonment was by the Duke of Lerma's order, than he 
 ordered me to be released. The present business, Signor Gil Bias, is 
 to relate the subsequent particulars of my adventures. 
 
 " The first thing I did," continued he, " after thanking Don 
 Andrew for his kind attentions during my confinement, was to re- 
 pair to Madrid. I presented myself before the Count Duke of Oli- 
 varez, who said, ' You need not be apprehensive of any blemish on 
 your character in consequence of your late misfortune ; you are 
 honorably acquitted : nay, your innocence is so much the more 
 satisfactorily established, as the Marquis of Villareal, with whom 
 you were supposed to be implicated, was not guilty. Though a 
 Portuguese, and related to the Duke of Braganza, he is less in his 
 interests than in those of the king my master. That connection, 
 therefore, ought not to have been imputed to you as a crime; but to 
 repair your wrongs, the king has given you a lieutenant's commission 
 in the Spanish guards.' This I accepted, begging as a favor of his 
 excellency to allow me, before I joined ray regiment, to go and see 
 my aunt, Donna Eleonora de Laxarilla, at Coria. The minister 
 gave me leave of absence for a month, and I departed with only one 
 servant. 
 
 " We had got beyond Colmenar, and were threading a narrow 
 pass between two mountains, when we came within sight of a 
 gentleman defending himself bravely against three men, who all 
 fell upon him together. I did not hesitate about going to his aid, 
 but hastened forward and planted myself by his side. I remarked, 
 while we were fighting, that our enemies were masked, and that we 
 had to do with expert swordsmen. But we triumphed over the 
 united advantages of their skill and disparity. I ran one of the 
 three through the body ; he fell from his horse, and the two others 
 immediately betook themselves to flight. The victory indeed was 
 scarcely less fatal to us than to the wretch whom I had killed, for 
 we were both dangerously wounded. But conceive my surprise, 
 when I discovered the gentleman to be Combados, the husband of 
 Donna Helena. He was no less astonished at recognizing me as 
 his defender. 'Ah, Don Gaston !' exclaimed he, ' was it you, then, 
 who came to my assistance ? When you took my part so generously, 
 you little thought it was the person who had snatched your mistress 
 from you.' ' I really did not know it,' answered I ; 'but though I 
 had, do you think I could have wavered about doing as I have 
 done? Can you entertain so ill an opinion of me as to believe my 
 soul so sordid ?' ' No, no,' replied he ; ' I think better of you ; and
 
 634 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 should I die of my wounds, it will be my prayer that yours may 
 not disable you from profiting by my death.' ' Combados,' said I, 
 ' though I have not yet forgotten Donna Helena, know that I do 
 not pant after the possession of her charms at the expense of your 
 life ; so i'ar from it, that I congratulate myself on having contributed 
 to your rescue from assassination, since by so doing I have per- 
 formed an acceptable service to your wife.' 
 
 " While we were communing together, my servant dismounted, 
 and drawing near to the gentleman stretched at his length, took off 
 his mask, when Combados, with sensations of gratitude for his de- 
 liverance, distinctly traced the features. ' It is Caprara,' exclaimed 
 he ; ' that treacherous cousin, who, in mere disgust at having missed 
 a rich inheritance which he had unjustly disputed with me, has 
 long since cherished a murderous design against my life, and fixed 
 on this day to put it in execution ; but Heaven has turned him over 
 to its determined vengeance, and made him the victim of his own 
 attempt.' 
 
 " While this conversation was going on, our blood was flowing at 
 the same rate, and we were becoming more exhausted every minute. 
 Nevertheless, disabled as we were, we had strength enough to reach 
 the town of Villarejo, which lies within a gunshot or two from the 
 field of battle. At the very first house of call we sent for surgeons. 
 The most expert came at our summons. He examined our wounds, 
 and reported them as dangerous. After taking off the bandages 
 and dressing them a second time, he pronounced those of Don Bias 
 to be mortal. Of mine he thought more favorably, and the event 
 corresponded with his prognostic. 
 
 " Combados, finding himself consigned to the grave, thought only 
 of due preparation for a most serious event. He sent an express to 
 his wife, with an account of what had happened, particularizing his 
 present sad condition. Donna Helena soon arrived at Villarejo. 
 Her mind was drawn different ways by two opposite occasions of 
 distress the hazard of her husband's life, and the fear of feeling 
 the revival of a half extinguished flame at the sight of me. This 
 sight occasioned her to experience a terrible agitation. ' Madam,' 
 said Don Bias when she appeared in his presence, ' you are come 
 just in time to receive my farewell. I am at the point of death, and 
 I consider my fate as a punishment from Heaven for having taken 
 you from Don Gaston by a feint ; far from murmuring at it, I exhort 
 you with my last breath to restore to him a heart which I had stolen 
 from him.' Donna Helena answered him only by her tears ; and 
 indeed it was the best answer she could make ; for she had neither 
 forgotten her first love nor the artifices whereby she had been in- 
 fluenced to renounce her plighted faith.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL SLAS. 635 
 
 " It happened, as the surgeon had anticipated, that in less than 
 three days Combados died of his wounds, while mine, on the contrary, 
 wore the appearance of convalescence. The young widow, whom 
 no earthly considerations could detach from the care of transporting 
 her late husband's remains to Coria, that they might be deposited 
 with due honors in the family vault, left Villarejo on her return, 
 after inquiring, merely as a matter of course, how I was going on. 
 As soon as I was well enough to be removed, I bent my course to 
 Coria, where my recovery was soon ascertained. My aunt, Donna 
 Eleonora, and Don George de Galisteo, were determined that my 
 marriage with Helena should take place forthwith, lest some new 
 caprice of fortune should part us once more. The ceremony was 
 privately performed, on account of the late melancholy event, and 
 within a few days I returned to Madrid with Donna Helena. As 
 my leave of absence had expired, I was afraid lest the minister 
 should have superseded me in my lieutenancy ; but he had not filled 
 up the vacancy, and received my apologies very graciously. 
 
 "Thus am I," continued Gogollos, "lieutenant of the Spanish 
 guards, and my situation is exactly to my mind. The circle of my 
 friends is respectable and pleasant, and I live at my ease among 
 them." " Would I could say .'as much I" exclaimed Don Andrew ; 
 "but I am very far from being satisfied with my lot: I have lost 
 my appointment, which was not without its advantages, and have 
 no friends of sufficient interest to procure me a better berth." " Ex- 
 cuse me, Signer Don Andrew," cried I, with a sort of upbraiding 
 smile, " you have a friend in me who may chance to be better than 
 no friend at all. I have told you already that I am a greater 
 favorite with my lord duke than with the Duke o*f Lerma; and 
 will you tell me to my /ace that you have no interest at court? 
 Have you not already experienced the contrary ? Recollect that, 
 through the Archbishop of Granada's powerful recommendation, I 
 procured you a nomination for Mexico, where you would have made 
 your fortune, if love had not stepped in and marred it at Alicant. 
 My means are now more extensive, since I have the ear of the prime 
 minister." " I give myself up to you, then," replied Tordesillas ; 
 " but do not send me into New Spain, though the first appointment 
 in the colonies were at your disposal." 
 
 Here we were interrupted by Donna Helena, who came into the 
 room, and improved even upon the visions of my fancy by the 
 reality of her charms. Cogollos introduced me as the companion 
 who had solaced the tedious hours of his imprisonment. " Yea, 
 madam," said I to Donna Helena, "my conversation did indeed 
 soothe his sorrows, for it turned on you." The compliment was 
 not thrown away, and I took my leave with repeated congratula-
 
 636 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 tions. With respect to Tordesillas, I assured him that within 
 a week he should know IIOAV far my power, as well as my will, 
 extended. 
 
 Nor were these mere words. On the very next day the opportu- 
 nity occurred. " Santillane," said his excellency, "the place of 
 governor in the royal prison of Valladolid is vacant : it is worth 
 more than three hundred pistoles a year, and is yours if you will 
 accept of it." "Not if it were worth ten thousand ducats," an- 
 swered I, " for it would carry me away from your lordship." 
 "But," replied the minister, "you may fill it by deputy, and only 
 visit the prison occasionally." "That is as it may be," rejoined I; 
 " but I shall only accept it on condition of resigning in favor of 
 Don Andrew de Tordesillas, a brave and loyal gentleman ; I should 
 like to give him this place in acknowledgment of his kindness to 
 me in the tower of Segovia." 
 
 This plea made the minister laugh heartily, and say, " As far as 
 I see, Gil Bias, you mean to make yourself a general patron. Even 
 so be it, my friend ; the vacancy is yours for Tordesillas ; but tell 
 me unfeignedly what fellow-feeling you have in the business, for 
 you are not such a fool as to throw away your interest for nothing." 
 " My lord," answered I, " Don Andrew charged me nothing for all 
 his acts of friendship ; and should not a man repay his obligations?" 
 " You are become highly moral and self-mortified," replied his ex- 
 cellency ; " rather more so than under the last administration." 
 " Precisely so," rejoined I ; " then evil communication corrupted my 
 principles ; bargain and sale were the order of the day, and I con- 
 formed to the established practice; now, all preferment is allotted 
 on the footing of a meritorious free gift, and my integrity shall 
 not be the last to fall in with the fashion." 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 SANTILLANE'S VISIT TO POET NUNEZ; THE COMPANY AND CONVER- 
 SATION. 
 
 ONE day, after dinner, a fancy seized me to go and see the poet 
 of the Asturias, feeling a sort of curiosity to know on what 
 floor he lodged. I repaired to the house of Signor Don Bertrand 
 Gomez del Ribero, and asked for Nunez. " He does not live here 
 now," said the porter, " but over the way, in apartments at the
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 687 
 
 back of the house." I went thither, and, crossing a small court, 
 entered an unfurnished parlor, where my friend Fabricio was 
 sitting at table, doing the honors to five or six guests from the 
 hamlet and liberty of Parnassus. 
 
 They were at the latter end of a feast, and of course at the 
 beginning of an affray ; but as soon as they perceived me, a dead 
 eilence succeeded to their obstreperous argumentation. Nunez rose 
 from his seat with much pomp and circumstance of politeness to 
 receive me, saying, "Gentlemen, Signor de Santillane! He does 
 me the honor to visit me under this humble roof; as the favorite 
 of the prime minister, you will all join with me in tendering your 
 humble services." At this introduction, the worshipful company 
 got up and made their best bows ; for my rank could not fail of pro- 
 curing me respect from the manufacturers of dedications. Though 
 I was neither hungry nor thirsty, it was impossible not to sit down 
 and drink a toast in such society. 
 
 My presence appearing to be a restraint, " Gentlemen," said I, 
 "it should seem that I have interrupted your conversation : resume 
 it, or you drive me away." " My learned friends," said Fabricio, 
 "were discussing the 'Iphigenia' of .Euripides." The bachelor, 
 Melchior de Villegas, a clever man of the first rank in the republic 
 of letters, resumed the topic by asking Don Jacinto de Romerate 
 which was the point of interest in that tragedy. Don Jacinto 
 ascribed it to the imminent danger of Iphigenia. The bachelor 
 contended, offering to prove his proposition by all the evidence ad- 
 missible at the bar of logic or criticism, that the danger of a 
 trumpery girl had nothing to do with the real sympathy of that 
 affecting piece. "What has to do with it then?" bawled the old 
 licentiate Gabriel of Leon, indignantly. " It turns with the wind," 
 replied the bachelor. 
 
 The whole company burst into a shout of laughter at this asser- 
 tion, which they were far from considering as serious ; and I myself 
 thought that Melchior had only launched it by way of adding the 
 zest of wit to the severity of critical discussion. But I was out in 
 my calculation respecting the character of that eminent scholar: he 
 had not a grain of sprightliness or pleasantry in his whole composi- 
 tion. " Laugh as you please, gentlemen," replied he, very coolly ; 
 " I maintain that there is no circumstance but the wind, unless it be 
 the weathercock, to interest, to strike, to rouse the passions of the 
 spectator. Figure to yourself a multitudinous army assembled for 
 the purpose of laying siege to Troy ; take into the account the eager 
 haste of the officers and common men to carry their enterprise into 
 execution, that they may return with their best legs foremost into 
 Greece, where they have left everything most dear to them their
 
 638 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 household gods, their wives and their children : all this while a mis- 
 chievous wind from the wrong quarter keeps them port-bound at 
 Aulis, and, as it were, drives a nail into the very head of the 
 expedition ; so that, till better weather, it was impossible to go and 
 lay siege to Priam's town. Wind and weather, therefore, make up 
 the interest of this tragedy. My good wishes are with the Greeks ; 
 my whole faculties are wrapped up in the success of their design ; 
 the sailing of their fleet is with me the only hinge of the fable, and 
 I look at the danger of Iphigenia with somewhat of a self-interested 
 complacency, because by her death the winding up of the story into 
 a brisk and favorable gale was likely to be accelerated." 
 
 As soon as Villegas had finished his criticism, the laugh burst out 
 more than ever at his expense. Nunez was sly enough to side with 
 him, that a fairer scope and broader mark might be presented to the 
 shafts of malicious wit which were let fly from all quarters in the 
 shipman's card at this poster of the sea and land. But the bachelor, 
 eyeing them all with sublime indifference and supreme contempt, 
 gave them to understand how low in the list of the ignorant and 
 vulgar they ranked in his estimation. Every moment did I expect 
 to see these vaporing spirits kindle into a blaze, and wage war 
 against the hairy honors of each other's brainless skulls ; but the 
 joke was not carried to that length: they confined their hostilities to 
 opprobrious epithets, and ook their leave when they had eaten and 
 drunk as much as they could get. 
 
 After their departure, I asked Fabricio why he had separated him- 
 self from his treasurer, and whether they had quarrelled. " Quar- 
 relled !" answered he : " Heaven defend me from such a misfortune ! 
 I am on better terms than ever with Signer Don Bertrand, who gave 
 his consent to my living apart from him : here, therefore, I receive 
 my friends, and take my pleasure with them unmolested. You 
 know very well that I am not of a temper to lay up treasures for 
 those who are to come after me ; and as it happens luckily, I am 
 now in circumstances to give, my little classical -entertainments 
 every day." " I am delighted at it, my dear Nunez," replied I, " and 
 once more wish you joy on the success of your last tragedy : the 
 great Lope, by his eight hundred dramatic pieces, never made a 
 quarter of the money which you have got by the damnation of your 
 ' Count de Saldagna.' "
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 639 
 
 BOOK XII. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 GIL BLAS SENT TO TOLEDO BY THE MINISTEB. THE PTJBPOSE OF HIS 
 JOTJBNEY AND ITS SUCCESS. 
 
 nearly a month his excellency had been saying to me every 
 _IJ ' day, " Santillane, the time is approaching when I shall call 
 your choicest powers of address into action." But the time that was 
 coming never came. It is a long lane, however, where there is no 
 turning ; and his excellency at length spoke to me nearly as follows : 
 " They say that there is in the company of comedians at Toledo a 
 young actress of much note for her personal and professional fasci- 
 nations ; it is affirmed that she dances and sings like all the Muses 
 and Graces put together, and that the whole theatre rings with ap- 
 plause at her performance ; to these perfections is added matchless 
 and irresistible beauty. Such a star should only shine within the 
 circle of a court. The king has a taste for the stage, for music, and 
 for dancing ; nor must he be debarred from the pleasure of seeing 
 and hearing such a prodigy. I have determined on sending you to 
 Toledo, that you may judge for yourself whether she really is so ex- 
 traordinary an actress ; on your opinion of her merit my measures 
 shall be taken ; for I have unlimited confidence in your discern- 
 ment." 
 
 I undertook to bring his lordship a good account of this business, 
 and made my arrangements for setting out with one servant, but not 
 in the minister's livery, by way of conducting matters more warily ; 
 and that precaution relished well with his excellency. On my 
 arrival at Toledo, I had scarcely alighted at the inn when the land- 
 lord, taking me for some country gentleman, said, "Please, your 
 honor, you are probably come to be present at the august ceremony 
 of an auto da f6 to-morrow." I answered in the affirmative, the more 
 completely to mislead him and keep my own counsel. " You will 
 see," replied he, " one of the prettiest processions you ever saw in 
 your life : there are said to be more than a hundred prisoners, and 
 ten of them are to be roasted." 
 
 In good truth, next morning, before sunrise, I heard all the bells 
 in the town peal merrily ; and the design of their bob-majors was to 
 acquaint the people that the pastime was about to begin. Curious 
 to see what sort of a recreation it was, I dressed in a hurry, and
 
 640 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 posted to the scene of action. All about that quarter, and along the 
 streets where the procession was to pass, were scaffolds, on one of 
 which I purchased a standing. The Dominicans walked first, pre- 
 ceded by the banner of the Inquisition. These Christian fathers 
 were immediately followed by the hapless victims of the holy office 
 selected for this day's burnt-offering. These devoted wretches walked 
 one by one, with their head and feet bare, each of them with a tapei 
 in his hand, and a fiery, not baptismal godfather by his side. Some 
 had large yellow scapularies, worked with crosses of St. Andrew in 
 red ; others wore sugar-loaf caps of paper, illustrated with flames and 
 diabolical figures of all sorts, by way of emblem. 
 
 As I looked narrowly at these objects of religious gaze, with a 
 compassion in my heart which might have been construed criminal 
 had it run over from my eyes, I fancied that the reverend Father 
 Hilary and his companion brother Ambrose were among those who 
 figured in the sugar-loaf caps. They passed too near for me to be de- 
 ceived. " What do I see ?" thought I inwardly. " Heaven, wearied 
 out with the wicked lives of these two scoundrels, has given them up 
 to the justice of the Inquisition !" My whole frame trembled at the 
 thought, and my spirits were scarcely equal to support me from faint- 
 ing. My connection with these knaves, the adventure at Xelva, all 
 our pranks in partnership, rushed upon my memory, and I did not 
 know how sufficiently to thank God for having preserved me from 
 St. Andrew's crosses and the painted devils on the paper caps. 
 
 When the ceremony was over, I returned to the inn with my heart 
 sickening at the dreadful sight ; but painful impressions soon wear 
 away, and I thought only of my commission and its due accom- 
 plishment. I waited with impatience for play-time, as the moment 
 and scene of my commencing operations. On the opening of the 
 doors I repaired to the theatre, and took my seat next to a knight 
 of Alcantara. We soon got into chat. " Sir," said I, " the players 
 here have been represented to me in very favorable terms : may I 
 give credit to general report ?" " The company is not contemptible," 
 replied the knight ; " they have some first-rate performers ; among 
 the rest, the peerless Lucretia, an actress of fourteen, who will 
 astonish you ; and she plays one of her best parts to-night." 
 
 On the drawing up of the curtain, two actresses came on, with 
 every advantage of dress and stage effect ; but neither of them could 
 possibly be the object of my search. At length Lucretia made her 
 appearance at the back of the scene, and walked forward amidst a 
 thunder of applause. "Ah ! this is she, indeed," thought I ; " and 
 a delicate specimen of loveliness, as I am a sinner !" In her very 
 first speech she proved herself a child of nature, with energy and 
 conception far above her years ; and the approbation of a provincial
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 641 
 
 audience was confirmed by my metropolitan judgment. The knight 
 was happy to find I liked her, and assured me that if I had heard 
 her sing, my ears might have rejoiced to the sorrow of my heart. 
 Her dancing, too, he represented as not less formidable to the free 
 will of lordly man. I inquired what youth, blessed as the immortal 
 gods, had the exquisite happiness of bringing himself to beggary 
 for so sweet a girl. " She is under no avowed protection," said he ; 
 " and scandal has not coupled her name with private license ; but 
 Lucretia must take care of herself, for she is under the wing of 
 her aunt Estella ; and there is not an actress in the company so 
 warmly fledged for hatching the tender passions into life." 
 
 At the name of Estella, I inquired with some eagerness who she 
 was. " One of our best performers," said my informant. " She 
 does not play to-night, to our great loss, for her cast is that of 
 abigails, and she humors them to perfection. A little too broad, 
 perhaps, but that is a fault on the right side." From the features 
 of the description, there could be no doubt but this must be 
 Laura that lady so notorious in these memoirs, whom I left at 
 Granada. 
 
 To make assurance doubly sure, I went behind the scenes after 
 the play. There she was, in the green-room, flirting with some men 
 of fashion, who probably endured the aunt for the sake of the niece. 
 I came up to pay my devotions ; but whim, or perhaps revenge for 
 my cutting and running from Granada, determined her to put on the 
 stranger, and receive my compliments with so discouraging a cold- 
 ness as to throw me into some little confusion. Instead of laughing 
 it off, I was fool enough to be angry, and withdrew in a choleric 
 determination to return next day. " Laura shall smart for this !" 
 said I ; " her niece shall not appear at court ; I will tell the min- 
 ister that she dances like a she bear, has formed her bravura be- 
 tween the scream of a pea-hen and the cackle of a goose, acts like 
 a puppet, and comprehends like an idiot." 
 
 Such was my scheme of revenge, but it proved abortive. Just as 
 I was going out of town, a foot-boy brought me the following note : 
 " Forget and forgive, and follow the bearer." I obeyed, and found 
 Laura at her dressing-table in very elegant apartments near the 
 theatre. 
 
 She rose to welcome me, saying, "Signor Gil Bias, you have every 
 reason to be offended at your reception behind the scenes, which 
 was out of character between such olf 1 friends ; but I really was 
 most abominably disconcerted. Just as you came up, one of our 
 gentlemen had brought me some scandalous stories about my niece, 
 whose honor has always been dearer to me than my own. On 
 coming to myself, I immediately sent my servant to find you out, 
 41
 
 642 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 with the intention of making you amends to-day." " You have 
 done so already, my dear Laura," said I ; " let us therefore talk 
 over old times. You may remember that I left you in a very tick- 
 lish predicament, when conscience and the fear of punishment 
 drove me so precipitately from Granada. How did you get off with 
 your Portuguese lover?" "Easily enough," answered Laura; " do 
 not you know that in those cases men are mere fools, and acquit us 
 women without even calling for our defence ? 
 
 " I faced the Marquis of Marialva out that you were my very 
 brother, and drew upon my impudence for the support of my credit. 
 ' Do you not see,' said I to my Portuguese dupe, ' that this is all the 
 contrivance of jealousy and rage? My rival, Narcissa, infuriated 
 at my possession of a heart which she had vainly attempted to gain, 
 has bribed the candle-snuffer to assert that he has seen me as Ar- 
 senia's waiting-woman at Madrid. It is an abominable falsehood ; 
 the widow of Don Antonio Coello has always been too high in her 
 notions to be the hanger-on of a theatrical mistress. Besides, what 
 completely disproves the whole allegation is my brother's precipitate 
 retreat ; if he were here, it would be a subject of evidence ; but 
 Narcissa must have devised some stratagem to get him out of the 
 way.' 
 
 " These reasons," continued Laura, " were not the most con- 
 vincing in the world, but they did very well for the marquis, and 
 that good, easy nobleman continued his confidence till his return to 
 Portugal. This happened soon after your departure, and Zapata's 
 wife had the pleasure of seeing me lose what she could not win. 
 After this I stayed some years longer at Granada, till the company 
 was broken up in consequence of some squabbles, which will take 
 place in mimic as well as in real life. Some went to Seville, others 
 to Cordova, and I came to Toledo, where I have been for these ten 
 years with my niece Lucretia, whose performance you must have 
 seen last night." 
 
 This was too much to be taken gravely. Laura inquired why I 
 laughed. "Can that be a question ?" said I. "You have neither 
 brother nor sister, one or other of which is a necessary ingredient in 
 an aunt. Besides, when I calculate in my mind the lapse of time 
 since our last separation, and compare that period with the age of 
 your niece, it is more than possible that your relationship may be 
 in a nearer degree of kin." 
 
 " I understand you," replied Don Antonio's widow, with some- 
 thing like a moral tinge of red in her cheek. " You are an accurate 
 chronologist ! There is no garbling facts in defiance of your mem- 
 ory. Well, then, Lucretia is my daughter by the Marquis of Mari- 
 alva ; it was extremely wrong, but I cannot conceal it from you."
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 643 
 
 " The confession must indeed be a shock to your modesty," said I, 
 " after telling me yourself what pranks you played with the hospital 
 steward at Zamora. I must tell you, moreover, that Lucretia is an 
 article of so superior a quality as to render you a public benefactor 
 by having thrown her into the market. It were to be wished that 
 the stolen embraces of all your fraternity might be blessed with 
 fruit-fulness, if they could secure to themselves a pattern for breed- 
 ing after your sample." 
 
 Should any sarcastic reader, comparing this passage with some 
 circumstances related while I was the marquis's secretary, suspect 
 me of being entitled to dispute the honors of paternity with that 
 nobleman, I blush to say that my claims are entirely out of the 
 question. 
 
 I laid open my principal adventures to Laura in my turn, as well 
 as the present state of my affairs. She listened with interest, and 
 said, " Friend Santillane, you seem to play a principal part on the 
 stage of the world, and I congratulate you most heartily. Should 
 Lucretia be engaged at Madrid, I flatter myself she will find a 
 powerful protector in Signor de Santillane." " Doubt it not," 
 answered I ; " your daughter may have her engagement whenever 
 you please ; I can promise you that, without presuming too much 
 on my interest." " I will take you at your word," replied Laura, 
 " and would set out to-morrow were I not under articles to this 
 company." " An order from court will cut the knot of any articles," 
 rejoined I ; "and that I take upon myself: you will have it within a 
 week. It is an act of chivalry to rescue Lucretia from Toledo: 
 such a pretty little actress belongs to the royal court, as parcel of 
 the manor." 
 
 Lucretia came into the room just as I was talking of her. The 
 goddess Hebe herself never looked better in her best days ; it was 
 nature in the bud, exhaling the sweets of her earliest bloom, but 
 promising a more luxuriant waste of treasure. She was just up, and 
 her natural beauty, without the aid of art, communicated the most 
 rapturous sensations. " Come, niece," said her mother, " thank the 
 gentleman for all his kindness to us ; he is an old friend of mine, 
 who ranks high at court, and undertakes to get us both an engage- 
 ment at the theatre royal." The little girl seemed to be much 
 pleased, and made me a low curtsy, saying, with an enchanting 
 smile, " I most humbly thank you for your obliging intention ; but 
 by taking me from a partial audience, are you certain that I shall 
 not be looked down upon by that of Madrid ? I may but lose by the 
 exchange. I remember hearing my aunt say that she has seen 
 players most favorably received in one town and hissed off the stage 
 in another. This absolutely frightens me; beware, therefore, of
 
 644 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 exposing me to the derision of the court, and yourself to its re- 
 proaches." "Lovely Lucretia," answered I, " we have neither of us 
 anything to fear ; I am rather apprehensive lest, by the havoc you 
 will make among hearts, you should excite rivalships and kindle 
 discord among the courtiers." " My niece's fears," said Laura, " are 
 better founded than yours, but I hope they will both prove vain ; 
 however feeble may be Lucretia's charms of person, her talents as 
 an actress are at least above mediocrity." 
 
 We continued the conversation for some time, and I could gather 
 from Lucretia's share in it that she was a girl of superior talents. 
 On taking my leave, I assured them that they should immediately 
 receive a summons to Madrid. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 BAXTILLANE MAKES HIS REPORT TO THE MINISTER, WHO COMMISSIONS 
 HIM TO SEND FOR LUCRETIA. 
 
 ON my return I found my lord duke impatient to be informed 
 of my success. " Have you seen her ?" said he ; " is she worth 
 transplanting?" "My lord," answered I, "fame, which generally 
 runs beyond all discretion in its report of beauty, has erred on the 
 side of parsimony in its estimate of the matchless young Lucretia ; 
 she is all that youthful poets fancy when they feign, for personal 
 attractions, and all that veteran managers seek when they sign 
 articles, in scenic qualifications." 
 
 "Is it possible?" exclaimed the minister, with a satisfaction 
 which involuntarily peeped out at his eyes, and made me think he 
 had some selfish hankerings after the article of my marketing at 
 Toledo; " is it possible? and is she really so charming a creature?" 
 "When you see her," replied I, "you will own that any verbal pic- 
 ture of her perfections must be altogether inadequate to their due 
 description." His excellency then requiring a minute account of 
 my journey, I gave him all the particulars, not excepting Laura's 
 story and Lucretia's parentage. His lordship was delighted at the 
 latter circumstance, and enjoined me, with a cordial compliment on 
 my skill in such delicate negotiations, to finish as auspiciously as I 
 had begun my undertakings. 
 
 I went to look for Carnero, and told him that it was his excel- 
 lency's pleasure he should make out an order for the admission of
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 645 
 
 Estella and Lucretia, actresses from the Toledo theatre, into his 
 majesty's company. " Say you so, Signer de Santillane ?" answered 
 Carnero with a sarcastic leer ; " you shall not be kept long in sus- 
 pense, since you take so marked an interest in the fortunes of these 
 two ladies." He expedited the order in my presence, and within a 
 week the mother and daughter sent me notice of their arrival. I 
 immediately hastened to their lodging near the theatre, and after an 
 interchange of thanks on their part, and assurances of continued 
 support on mine, left them with my best wishes for a brilliant career 
 of success. 
 
 Their names were announced in the bills as two new actresses, 
 engaged by the special mandate of the court. They made their first 
 appearance in a play which they had been accustomed to perform in 
 at Toledo, with loud and unanimous applause. 
 
 Novelty is the very life and soul of theatrical entertainments. 
 The house was uncommonly crowded, and I, of course, was among 
 the audience. I was rather frightened before the curtain drew up. 
 Prejudiced as I was in favor of the candidates, my alarm was in 
 proportion to my interest. But when once they were fairly on the 
 boards, the din of welcome quieted all my apprehensions. Estella 
 was considered as a first-rate actress in comic parts, and Lucretia as 
 a female Roscius in heroines and love-sick damsels. But the love 
 which she feigned herself she really kindled in the hearts of the 
 spectators. Some admired the beauty of her eyes, others were 
 touched with the plaintive sweetness of her voice, and all, bowing 
 to the triumph of youth, vivacity, and elegance, went away in rap- 
 tures with her person. 
 
 My lord duke, who took an uncommon interest in this theatrical 
 event, was at the play that evening. I saw him leave his box at the 
 end of the piece with evident approbation of our new performers. 
 Curious to know whether they equalled his expectations, I followed 
 him home, and into his closet, saying, " Well, my lord, is your ex- 
 cellency well pleased with little Marialva?" "My excellency," 
 answered he with a sly smile, " must be very difficult to be pleased 
 not to confirm the public voice ; yes, indeed, my good friend, I am 
 enraptured with your Lucretia, and firmly believe that the king will 
 not see her without emotion '"
 
 646 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 LUCRETIA'S POPULARITY; HER APPEARANCE BEFORE THE KING; HIS 
 PASSION, AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. 
 
 REAT was the noise about the court on this double acquisition 
 to the theatre ; it became the topic of conversation next day 
 at the king's levee. The young Lucretia was most in the mouths 
 of the nobility, who described her in such an enthusiastic manner 
 that his majesty could not but imbibe the impression, though he 
 was too polite to express the interest he felt either in words or by 
 looks. 
 
 To make amends for that restraint, he questioned the minister as 
 soon as he was alone with him, who stated the success of a young 
 actress from Toledo on the evening before. " Her name," added he, 
 " is Lucretia; and it is really a pity that ladies of her profession 
 should ever have been christened by any less chaste appellative. 
 She is an acquaintance of Santillane, who spoke so highly of her 
 that I thought it right to engage her for your majesty's company." 
 The king smiled at the mention of my name, recollecting, perhaps, 
 through what channel he became acquainted with Catalina, and 
 foreboding a like assistance on the present occasion. " Count," said 
 he to the minister, " I mean to see this Lucretia act to-morrow, and 
 will thank you to let her know it." 
 
 I was, of course, sent with this intelligence to the two actresses. 
 " Great news 1" said I to Laura, whom I saw first : " you will have 
 the sovereign of the Spanish monarchy among your audience to- 
 morrow, as the minister has desired me to inform you. I cannot 
 doubt but you will both of you do your best to prove yourselves 
 worthy of a royal command ; but I would advise you to choose a 
 piece with music and dancing, that all Lucretia's accomplishments 
 may be displayed at one view." "We will take your counsel," 
 answered Laura, " and it shall not be our faults if his majesty is 
 disappointed." " That can scarcely happen," said I, seeing Lucre- 
 tia come into the room in an undress, which showed her person to 
 more advantage than all the wardrobe of the theatre; "he will be 
 the more delighted with your lovely niece, because dancing and 
 music are his principal pleasures : he may even be tempted to throw 
 her the handkerchief." " I do not at all wish," replied Laura, " that 
 he should be that way inclined ; all-powerful monarch as he is, he 
 might not find the accomplishment of his desires so easy. Lucretia, 
 though brought up behind the scenes, is not without virtuous prin- 
 ciples ; whatever pleasure she may take in applause and professional
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 647 
 
 reputation, she had much rather preserve the character of a good 
 girl than establish that of a great actress." 
 
 " Aunt," said little Marialva, joining in the conversation, " why 
 conjure up monsters only to lay them again? I shall never be at a 
 loss to repel the king's advances, because his taste is too refined to 
 stoop so low." " But, charming Lucretia," said I, " if such a thing 
 should happen, would you be cruel enough to let him languish like 
 a common lover ?" " Why not ?" answered she. " Setting virtue 
 aside, my vanity would be more flattered by my own resistance than 
 by the tribute of his affection." I was not a little surprised to 
 hear a pupil of Laura's school talk so properly, and to find that 
 with so free an education she imbibed such unusual principles of 
 morality. 
 
 The king, impatient to see Lucretia, went to the play next even- 
 ing. The piece was got up with music and dancing, to show our 
 young actress off to the best advantage. My eyes were fixed on his 
 majesty ; but he completely eluded my penetration by an obstinate 
 gravity. On the following day, the minister said, "Santillane, I 
 have just been with the king, who has been talking about Lucretia 
 with so much animation that I doubt not but he is smitten ; and, 
 as I told him that you had sent for her from Toledo, he expressed a 
 wish to confer with you in private on the subject: orders are given 
 for your admittance ; run, and bring me back an account of what 
 passes." 
 
 I flew to the palace, and found the king alone. He was walking 
 up and down, in much apparent perplexity. He. put several ques- 
 tions to me about Lucretia, made me relate her history, and then 
 asked whether the little jade had not been tampering with chastity 
 already. I boldly assured him to the contrary, though such pledges 
 were somewhat hazardous in general ; but mine was taken, and gave 
 the prince much pleasure. " If so," replied he, " I select you for 
 my agent with Lucretia; let her become acquainted with her 
 triumph from your lips." He then put a box of jewels into my 
 hand, worth fifty thousand crowns, with a message begging her 
 acceptance of them, and promising more substantial proofs of his 
 affection. 
 
 Before I went on this errand, I reported progress to my lord duke. 
 That minister I thought would be more vexed than rejoiced at it; 
 supposing that he had his own views of gallantry towards Lucretia, 
 and would learn with regret the rivalship of his master ; but I was 
 mistaken. Far from appearing chagrined, his joy was so excessive 
 that it would ooze out at his tongue in words which were not quite 
 lost on the hearer. " Indeed, friend Philip ! then I have you in my 
 clutches : while your pleasures lead you, your business must be left
 
 648 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 to me !" This side speech explained to me the plot an amorous 
 prince, and a long-headed minister! My orders were to execute 
 my commission as speedily as possible, with the assurance that the 
 first lord in the laud would be proud to stand in my shoes. Besides, 
 there was no pimp of rank, as in the former case, to seize the profit 
 and leave the infamy with me ; the honor and emolument were now 
 exclusively my own. 
 
 Thus did his excellency relish the ingredients of panderism to my 
 palate ; and I tasted them with the greediness, but not without the 
 qualms, of an epicure; for since my imprisonment I had become 
 regenerate, and did not take pride in dirty work, because my em- 
 ployer washed his hands in perfumed water. But though con- 
 science was awake, interest was not asleep. I was no longer a 
 villain for the fun of it ; but my compliance would confirm my foot- 
 ing with the minister, and him it was my duty, at all events, to 
 please. 
 
 My first appeal was to Laura in private. I opened the negotia- 
 tion delicately, and presented my credentials in the form of the 
 jewel-box. The lady was thrown off her guard by the display. 
 " Signor Gil Bias," cried she, " you are one of my oldest friends, 
 and I must not play the hypocrite ; straight-laced morals are incon- 
 sistent with the discipline of my sect. Nothing can be more 
 delightful to me than a conquest which* throws such game into our 
 hands. But, between ourselves, I am afraid Lucretia is not so 
 enlightened as we are ; though a daughter of Thalia, she has taken 
 the better-behaved goddesses for her schoolmistresses, and given 
 a rebuff to two young noblemen of amiable manners and large 
 fortunes. They were not kings, you will say ; and truly we may 
 hope that Lucretia's virtue will be too undisciplined to stand a 
 royal siege ; but you must remember the event is hazardous, and I 
 shall not interpose my authority to compel her. If, far from think- 
 ing herself honored by the fleeting passion of the king, she should 
 revolt from his advances with disdain, let not our illustrious 
 sovereign be offended at her reserve. But do you come back 
 hither to-morrow, and carry back either the jewels or a return of 
 affection." 
 
 I had no doubt but Laura would tutor Lucretia in the school of 
 time-serving morality, and depended much on her instruction. It 
 was therefore no small surprise to find that Laura worked as much 
 against wind and tide to launch her daughter into the trade-wind 
 of evil as other maternal pilots to set the sails of theirs in the con- 
 trary monsoon of good ; and what is still more unaccountable, 
 Lucretia, after tasting of royal delights, was so completely surfeited 
 with the banquet as to throw herself at once into the arms of the
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 649 
 
 church, where she professed, fell sick, and died of grief. Laura, 
 disconsolate for the loss of her daughter, and the part she herself 
 had acted in the tragedy, retired into a convent of female penitents, 
 and did penance for the unhallowed pleasures of her former life. 
 The king was affected by his sudden loss, but soon found comfort in 
 some other pursuit. The premier talked little on the subject, but 
 thought so much the more, as the reader will easily believe. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 SANTIIXANE IN A NEW OFFICE. 
 
 MY feelings were all alive to Lucretia's ill fate, and my own 
 infamy in having contributed to it. The royal wants of the 
 lover were no excuse for my taking the post of cheapener, and I 
 determined to resign the staff of office in that department, entreat- 
 ing the minister to employ me in some other. He was charmed 
 with my nice sense of honor, and promised to comply with my 
 scruples, laying open his inmost heart in the following speech: 
 
 " Some years before I was in office, chance threw me across a lady 
 of such shape and beauty as induced me to trace her home. I 
 learned that she was a Genoese, by name Donna Margarita Spinola, 
 supporting herself at Madrid on the income arising from her beauty. 
 It was reported that Don Francisco de Val6asar, an officer about 
 the court, a rich man, an old man, and a married man, laid out his 
 money very freely on this hazardous speculation. These rumors 
 ought to have deterred me ; but they only whetted my desires to 
 share with ValSasar. To gain my end, I had recourse to a female 
 broker of tenderness, who adjusted the terms of a private interview 
 with the Genoese ; and the price current being settled, the traffic 
 was frequently repeated ; it was an open market for my rival and 
 me, or possibly for many other bidders. 
 
 " Let that be as it may, a choice boy was in the fulness of time 
 produced to the club, and the mother complimented every member 
 individually in private with the credit; but we were each of us too 
 modest to acknowledge a bantling which had ao probable a claim 
 upon a better father ; BO that the Genoese was compelled to main- 
 tain him on the profits of her profession : this sho.did for eighteen 
 years, and dying at the end of that period, left her son without a 
 farthing, and, what is worse, without an idea or an accomplishment
 
 650 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 "Such," continued his lordship, "is the confidence I meant to 
 repose in you, and I shall now lay open the great design I have 
 formed to draw this unfortunate child from his obscurity, reverse 
 the color of his fate, raise him to the highest honors, and acknowl- 
 edge him as my son." 
 
 At so extravagant a project it was impossible not to be open- 
 mouthed. " What, sir," exclaimed I, " can your excellency have 
 adopted so strange a resolution ? Excuse my freedom ; but my zeal 
 cannot restrain itself." " You will be of my mind," replied he with 
 eagerness, " when I shall have explained to you my motives. I 
 have no mind that my estates should descend in the collateral line. 
 You will tell me that I am not so old as to despair of having chil- 
 dren by Madame d'Olivarez. But every one is best judge of his 
 own condition : know therefore that there is not a receipt in the 
 whole extent of chemistry which I have not tried, but without 
 effect, to appear once again in the character of a father. Where- 
 fore, since fortune, stepping in to cover the defects of nature, pre- 
 sents me with a child whose parent, after all, I may actually be, he 
 is mine by adoption ; that is a settled point." 
 
 When I found the minister determined, I no longer argued against 
 his resolution, as knowing him to be a man who would rather do a 
 foolish act of his own than adopt a wise suggestion of another. " It 
 only remains now," added he, "to educate Don Henry Philip de 
 Guzman for by that name I intend him to be known in the world 
 till the time arrives when he may aspire to higher dignities. You, 
 my dear Santillane, I have chosen to superintend his conduct. I 
 have full confidence in your talents and friendship, to regulate his 
 household, direct his studies, and make him an accomplished gentle- 
 man." I would willingly have declined the office, as never having 
 exercised the craft of a pedagogue, which required much more 
 genius and solidity than mine ; but he shut my mouth by saying it 
 was his absolute determination that I should be tutor to this adopted 
 son, whom he designed for the first offices of the monarchy. As a 
 bribe for my compliance, his lordship increased my little income 
 with a pension of a thousand crowns on the commandery of Membra.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 651 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE SON OF THE GENOESE IS ACKNOWLEDGED BY A LEGAL INSTKU- 
 MENT, AND NAMED DON HENRY PHILIP DE GUZMAN. 
 
 THE act of adoption was soon legalized with the king's consent 
 and good pleasure. Don Henry Philip de Guzman, as this 
 descendant from a committee of fathers was named, became ac- 
 knowledged successor to the earldom of Olivarez and the duchy of 
 San Lucar. The minister, to give the act all possible publicity, 
 communicated it through Carnero to the ambassadors and grandees 
 of Spain, who were somewhat startled. The jokers of Madrid were 
 not insensible to the ridicule, and the satirical poets made their 
 harvest of so fine a subject for their pen. 
 
 I asked my lord duke where my pupil was. " Here in town," 
 answered he, " with an aunt from whom I shall remove him as soon 
 as you have got a house ready." This I did immediately, and fur- 
 nished it magnificently. When my establishment was complete in 
 servants and officers, his excellency sent for this equivocal produc- 
 tion, this spurious offset from the renowned stock of the Guzmans. 
 The lad was tall and personable. " Don Henry," said his lordship, 
 pointing to me, " this gentleman is to be your tutor, and introduce 
 you into the world ; he has my entire confidence, and an unlimited 
 authority over you." After much good advice, and many com- 
 pliments to me, the minister retired, and I took Don Henry 
 home. 
 
 As soon as we got thither, I introduced him to his household, and 
 explained the nature of each individual's employment. He did not 
 seem at all disconcerted at the change of circumstances, but received 
 the obeisances of his dependents as if he had been a lord by nature, 
 and not by chance. He was not without mother-wit, but ignoraut 
 in a deplorable degree ; he could scarcely read and write. I gave 
 him masters for the Latin grammar, geography, history, and fencing. 
 A dancing-master of course was not forgotten ; but in an affair of 
 the first consequence, selection was difficult, for there were more 
 eminent professors of that art in Madrid than of all the languages 
 and sciences put together. 
 
 While I was pondering on this difficulty, a man gaudily dressed 
 came into the court-yard and inquired for me. I went down, sup- 
 posing him to be at least a knight of some military or privileged 
 order. " Signer de Santillane," said he, with a profusion of bows 
 which anticipated his line in life, " I am come to offer you my ser- 
 vices as Don Henry's governor. My name is Martin Ligero, and I
 
 652 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 have, thank Heaven, some reputation in the world. I have no 
 occasion to canvass for scholars ; that is all very well for petty 
 dancing-masters ! My custom is to wait till I am sent for ; but 
 being a sort of appendage to the house of Guzman, and having 
 taught its various branches for a long period, I thought it a point of 
 respect to wait on you first." " I perceive," answered I, " that you 
 are just the man we want. What are your terms?" " Four double 
 pistoles a month," answered he, " and I give but two lessons a 
 week." " Four doubloons a month !" cried I ; " that is an exorbi- 
 tant price." " Exorbitant 1" rejoined he with astonishment; "why, 
 it is not more than eight times as much as you would give to a 
 mathematical master or a Greek professor." 
 
 There was no resisting so ludicrous a comparison of merit; I 
 laughed outright, and asked Signer Ligero whether he really thought 
 his talents worth more than those of the first proficients in learning 
 and science. " Most assuredly," said he ; " at least, if you measure 
 our pretensions by their respective utility. What sort of machines 
 may those be which are fashioned under their hands ? Jointless 
 puppets, unlicked cubs, open-mouthed and impenetrable shell-fish ; 
 but our lessons supple and render pliant the intractable stiffness of 
 their component parts, and bring them insensibly into shape : in 
 short, we communicate to them a graceful motion, a polite address, 
 the carriage of good company, and the outward marks of elevated 
 rank." 
 
 I could not but give way to such cogent arguments in favor of the 
 dancing-master's occupation, and engaged him about Don Henry's 
 person, without haggling as to terms, since those specified were only 
 at the rate established by the leading professors of the art. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 SCIPIO'S RETURN FROM NEW BPAIN. GIL BLAS PLACES HIM ABOTTT 
 DON HENRY'S PERSON. 
 
 I HAD not yet half arranged Don Henry's household, when 
 Scipio returned from Mexico. He brought with him three 
 thousand ducats in cash, and merchandise to double the amount. 
 " I wish you joy," said I ; "the foundation of your fortune is laid; 
 and if you prefer a snug berth at Madrid to the risk of going back, 
 you have only to tell me so." " There is no question about that,"
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 653 
 
 said the son of Cosclina : " a genteel situation at home is far prefer- 
 able to a second voyage." 
 
 After relating the birth and adventures of the little adopted Guz- 
 man, and my own appointment as tutor, I offered him the situation 
 of upper servant to this babe of chance : Scipio, who could have 
 devised nothing better for himself, readily accepted the office, and 
 within the small space of three or four days got the length of his 
 new master's foot. 
 
 I had taken it for granted that the verb-grinders and concord- 
 manufacturers to whom I had given the plant of this Genoese bas- 
 tard would lose stock and block, under the idea that he was of an 
 intractable and profitless age ; but my forebodings were completely 
 reversed. He not only comprehended, but easily retained the les- 
 sons of his masters, and they were very well satisfied with him. I 
 was in an enormous hurry to greet the ears of my lord duke with 
 this intelligence, and he received it with abundant joy. "Santil- 
 lane," -exclaimed he with delight, " you give me new life by the 
 assurance of Don Henry's capacity and application : it runs in the 
 blood of the Guzmans ; and I am the more confirmed in his being 
 unquestionably my own, because I am just as fond of him as if 
 Madame d'Olivarez herself had lain in of the brat in due form 
 under this very roof. The voice of nature, you perceive, will make 
 itself heard." I thought it unnecessary to give his lordship any 
 opinion on that subject; but with a delicate deference to his 
 credulity, left him to enjoy his fancied paternity in peace, whether 
 well or ill founded. 
 
 Though all the Guzmans held this clod of newly turned-up 
 nobility in utter corn, they were politic enough to smooth over the 
 corrugations of their contempt ; nay, some of them even affected to 
 languish for his good opinion ; the ambassadors and principal no- 
 bility then at Madrid waited on him with all the ceremony apper- 
 taining to the rank of a legitimate son. The minister, intoxicated 
 with the fumes of incense offered to his idol, began to build. a temple 
 worthy of the worship. The cross of Alcantara was the foundation, 
 with a commandery of ten thousand crowns. The next step was to 
 a high office in the royal household, and the completion of the whole 
 was matrimony. Wishing to connect him with a family of the 
 first rank, he picked out Donna Johanna de Velasco, daughter 
 to the Duke of Castille, and had influence enough to accomplish 
 the alliance, though against the will of the duke and of all his 
 kindred. 
 
 Some days before the nuptial ceremony, his lordship put some 
 papers into my hand, saying, " Here, Gil Bias, is a patent of nobility 
 which I have procured as a reward of your services." " My lord,"
 
 654 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 
 
 answered I, in much astonishment, "your excellency.knows very 
 well that I am the son of an usher and a duenna : it would be cari- 
 caturing the peerage to confer it on me; and besides, of all the 
 boons in his majesty's power to bestow, it is that which I deserve 
 and desire the least." " Your birth," replied the minister, " is a 
 slight objection. You have been employed on affairs of state under 
 the Duke of Lerma's administration and under mine: besides," added 
 he with a smile, " have you not rendered some things to Caesar which 
 Caesar is bound, on the honor of a prince, to render back in another 
 shape ? To deal candidly, Santillane, you will make just as good a 
 lord as the best of them ; nay, more than that, your high office 
 about my son is incompatible with plebeian rank, and therefore 
 have I procured you to be created." " Since your excellency will 
 have it so," replied I, " there is no more to be said." So, saying 
 no more, I put my new-blown honors in my pocket, and walked off. 
 "Now can I make any Joan a lady !" said I to myself when I had 
 got into the street: "but it was not the handiwork of my parents 
 that made me a gentleman. I may add a foot of honor to my name 
 whenever I please ; and if any of my acquaintance should snuff or 
 snigger when they call me Don, I may suck my teeth, lean upon my 
 elbow, and draw out my credentials of heraldry. But let us see what 
 they contain, and how the corporeal particles, which have accrued 
 during my artificial contact with the court, are distinguished by 
 genealogical metaphysics from the native clay of my original extrac- 
 tion." The instrument ran thus in substance: That the king, in 
 acknowledgment of my zeal in more than one instance for his service 
 and the good of the state, had been graciously pleased to confer this 
 mark of distinction on me. I may safely say that the recollection of 
 the act for which I was promoted effectually kept down my pride. 
 Neither did the bashfulness of low birth ever forsake me, so that 
 nobility to me was like a hair shirt to a penitent : I determined 
 therefore to lock up the evidences of my shame in a private drawer, 
 instead of blazoning them to dazzle the eyes of the foolish and 
 corrupt.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 655 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 AN ACCIDENTAL MEETING BETWEEN GIL BLAS AND FABEICIO. THEIR 
 LAST CONVERSATION TOGETHER. 
 
 E poet of the Asturias, as the reader, if he thought of him, 
 J_ may have remarked, was very negligent in his intercourse with 
 me. It was not to be expected that my employments would leave 
 me time to go and look after him. I had not seen him since the 
 critical discussion touching the Iphigenia of Euripides, when chance 
 threw me across him, as he came out of a printing-house. I accosted 
 him, saying, "So! so! Master Nunez, you have got among the 
 printers : this looks as if we were threatened with some new pro- 
 duction." 
 
 " You may indeed prepare yourselves for such an event," answered 
 he : "I have a pamphlet just ready for publication which is likely 
 to make some noise in the literary world." " There can be no ques- 
 tion about its merit," replied I ; " but I cannot conceive why you 
 waste your time in writing pamphlets : it should seem as if such 
 squibs and rockets were scarcely worth the powder expended in 
 their manufacture." " It is very true," rejoined Fabricio : " and I 
 am well aware that none but the most vulgar gazers are caught by 
 such holiday fireworks ; however, this single one has escaped me, 
 and I must own that it is a child of necessity. Hunger, as you know, 
 will bring the wolf out of the forest." 
 
 "What!" exclaimed I, "is it the author of the 'Count of Sal- 
 dagna' who holds this language ? A man with an annuity of two 
 thousand crowns ?" " Gently, my friend," interrupted Nunez : " I 
 am no longer a pensioned poet. The affairs of the treasurer Don 
 Bertrand are all at sixes and sevens : he has been at the gaming- 
 table, and played with the public money : an extent has issued, and 
 my rent-charge is gone post haste to the devil." " That is a sad 
 affair," said I ; " but may not matters come round again in that quar- 
 ter ?' " No chance of it," answered he : " Signor Gomez del Eibero, 
 in plight as destitute as that of his poor bard, is sunk forever ; nor 
 can he, as they say, by any possible contrivance be set afloat again." 
 
 " In that case, my good friend," replied I, " we must look out for 
 some post which may make you amends for the loss of your an- 
 nuity." "I will ease your conscience on that score," said he: 
 " though you should offer me the wealth of the Indies as a salary in 
 one of your offices, I would reject the boon : clerkships are no object 
 to a partner in the firm of the Muses ; a literary berth or absolute 
 starvation for your humble servant ! If you must have it plump, I
 
 656 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 was born to live and die a poet, and the man whose destiny is hang- 
 ing will never be drowned. 
 
 " But do not suppose," continued he, "that we are altogether forlorn 
 and destitute : besides that we accommodate the requisites of inde- 
 pendence to our finances, we do not look far beyond .our noses in 
 calculating the average of our fortunes. It is insinuated that we 
 often dine with the most abstemious orders of the religious; but our 
 sanctity in this particular is too credulously imputed. There is not 
 one of my brother wits, without excepting the calculators of almanacs, 
 who has not a plate laid for him at some substantial table : for my 
 own part, I have the run of two good houses. To the master of one 
 I have dedicated a romance ; and he is the first commissioner of taxes 
 who was ever associated with the Muses : the other is a rich trades- 
 man in Madrid, whose lust is to get wits about him ; he is not nice 
 in his choice, and this town furnishes abundance to those who value 
 wit more by quantity than quality." 
 
 " Then I no longer feel for you," said I to the poet of the Asturias, 
 " since you are satisfied in your condition. But be that as it may, I 
 assure you once more that you have a friend in Gil Bias, however 
 you may slight him ; if you want my purse, come and take it ; it will 
 not fail you at a pinch ; and you must not stand between me and my 
 sincere friendship." 
 
 "By that burst of sentiment," exclaimed Nunez, "I know and 
 thank my friend Santillane : in return, let me give you a salutary 
 caution. While my lord duke is in his meridian, and you are all in 
 all with him, reap, bind, and gather in your harvest : when the sun 
 sets, the gleaners are sent home." I asked Fabricio whether his sus- 
 picions were surely founded, and he returned me this answer: "My 
 information comes from an old knight of Calatrava, who pokes his 
 nose into secrets of all sorts ; his authority passes current at Madrid, 
 much as that of the Pythian news-mongers did through Greece ; and 
 thus his oracle was pronounced in my hearing : My lord duke has a 
 host of enemies in battle array against him ; he reckons too securely 
 upon his influence with the king ; for his majesty, as the report goes, 
 begins to take in hostile representations with patience." I thanked 
 Nunez for his friendly warning, but without much faith in his pre- 
 diction : my master's authority seemed rooted in the court, like the 
 tempest-scoffing firmness of an oak in the native soil of the forest.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 657 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 GIL BLAS FINDS THAT FABRICIO'S HINT WAS NOT WITHOUT FOUNDA- 
 TION. THE KING'S JOURNEY TO SARAGOSSA. 
 
 poet of the Asturias was no bad politician. There was a 
 _ court plot against the duke, with the queen at the bottom ; but 
 their plans were too deeply laid to bubble at the surface. During 
 the space of a whole year, my simplicity was insensible to the brew- 
 ing of the tempest. 
 
 The revolt of the Catalans, with France at their back, and the ill 
 success of the war for their suppression, excited the murmurs of the 
 people, and whetted their tongues against government. A council 
 was held in the royal presence, and the Marquis de Grana, the em- 
 peror's ambassador, was specially requested to assist. The subject in 
 debate was whether the king should remain in Castille, or go and 
 take the command of his troops in Arragon. The minister spoke 
 first, and gave it as his opinion that his majesty should not quit the 
 seat of government. All the members supported his arguments, 
 with the exception of the Marquis de Grana, whose whole heart was 
 with the house of Austria, and the sentiments of his soul on the tip 
 of his tongue, after the homely honesty of his nation. He argued so 
 forcibly against the minister that the king embraced his opinion 
 from conviction, though contrary to the vote of council, and fixed 
 the day when he would set out for the army. 
 
 This was the first time that ever the sovereign had differed from 
 his favorite, and the latter considered it as an inexpiable affront. 
 Just as the minister was withdrawing to his closet, there to bite 
 upon the bridle, he espied me, called me in, and told me with much 
 discomposure what had passed' in debate. "Yes, Santillane," 
 observed he, " the king, who for the last twenty years has spoken 
 only through my mouth and seen with my eyes, is now to be 
 wheedled over by Grana ; and that on the score of zeal for the house 
 of Austria, as if that German had a more Austrian soul in his body 
 than myself. 
 
 " Hence it is easy to perceive," continued the minister, " that there 
 is a strong party against me, with the queen at the head." " Heaven 
 forbid it I" said I. " Has not the queen for upwards of twelve years 
 been accustomed to your paramount authority, and have you not 
 taught the king the knack of not consulting her? The desire of 
 making a campaign may for once have enlisted his majesty on the 
 side of the Marquis de Grana." " Say rather that the king," argued 
 my lord duke, " will be surrounded by his principal officers when in 
 42
 
 658 AD VEX TV RES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 camp ; and then the disaffected will find their opportunity for poi- 
 soning him against my administration. But they overreach them- 
 selves ; for I shall completely insulate the prince from all their ap- 
 proaches ;" and so he did, in a manner which, for example, deserves 
 not to be passed over. 
 
 The day of the king's departure having arrived, the monarch, 
 leaving the queen regent, proceeded for Saragossa by way of Aran- 
 juez a delightful residence, where he whiled away three weeks. 
 Cuenqa was the next stage, where the minister detained him still 
 longer by a succession of amusements. A hunting party was 
 contrived at Molina in Arragon, and hence there was no choice 
 of road but to Saragossa. The army was near at hand, and 
 the king was preparing to review it; but his keeper sickened 
 him of the project by making him believe that he would be taken 
 by the French, who were in force in the neighborhood, so that 
 he was cowed by a groundless apprehension, and consented to 
 be a prisoner in his own court. The minister, from an affec- 
 tionate regard to his safety, secluded him from all approach ; so 
 that the principal nobility, who had equipped themselves at enor- 
 mous charges to be about his person, could not even procure an 
 occasional audience. Philip, weary of bad lodgings and worse re- 
 creation at Saragossa, and perhaps feeling himself scarcely his own 
 master, soon returned to Madrid. Thus ended the royal campaign, 
 and the care of maintaining the honor of the Spanish colors was left 
 to the Marquis de los Velez, commander-in-chief. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 THE REVOLUTION OF PORTUGAL, AND DISGRACE OF THE PRIME 
 MINISTER. 
 
 A FEW days after the king's return, an alarming report pre- 
 vailed at Madrid, that the Portuguese, considering the Cata- 
 lan revolt asan opportunity offered them by fortune for throwing 
 off the Spanish yoke, had taken arms, and chosen the Duke of Bra- 
 ganza for their king, with a full determination of supporting him on 
 the throne. In this they conceived that they did not reckon with- 
 out their host, because Spain was then embroiled in Germany, Italy, 
 Flanders, and Catalonia. They could not, in fact, have hit upon 
 a crisis more favorable for their deliverance from so galling a yoke.
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 659 
 
 It was a strange circumstance that, while both court and city were 
 struck with consternation at the news, my lord duke attempted to 
 joke with the king, and make the Duke of Braganza his butt : Philip, 
 however, far from falling in with this ill-timed pleasantry, assumed 
 a serious air, of ill omen to the minister, who felt his seat to totter 
 under him. The queen was now his declared enemy, and openly 
 accused him of having caused the revolt of Portugal by his miscon- 
 duct. The nobility in general, and especially those who had been 
 at Saragossa, when they saw a cloud gathering about the minister, 
 joined the queen's party ;* but the decisive blow was the return of 
 the duchess dowager of Mantua from her government of Portugal to 
 Madrid, for she proved clearly to the king's conviction that the 
 counsels of his own cabinet produced the revolution. 
 
 His majesty, deeply impressed with what he had heard, was now 
 completely recovered from every symptom of partiality towards his 
 favorite. The minister, finding that his enemies were in possession 
 of the royal ear, wrote for permission to resign his employments 
 and retire from court, since all the political mischances of the time 
 were placed to his account. He expected this letter to produce a 
 wonderful effect, reckoning upon the prince's private friendship, 
 which could scarcely brook a. separation ; but his majesty's answer 
 undeceived him, by complying with his ostensible wish to withdraw. 
 
 Such a sentence of banishment in the king's own handwriting 
 came like a thunder-storm in harvest ; but though destruction to his 
 long-cherished hopes, he affected the serene look of constancy, and 
 asked me what I would do in his circumstances. " I would drive 
 before the wind," said I ; " renounce the ungrateful court, and pass 
 the remainder of my days in peace on my own estate." "You 
 counsel wisely," replied my master, " and I shall set out for 
 Loeches, there to finish my career, after one more interview with 
 his majesty, for I could wish just to convince him that I have done 
 what man can do to support the heavy load of state upon my 
 shoulders, and that it was not within the compass of possibility to 
 prevent the unfortunate events which are imputed to me as a crime. 
 It were equally reasonable to charge the pilot with the wrecking 
 fury of the storm, and make him answerable for the uncontrolled 
 power of the elements." Thus did the minister inwardly flatter 
 himself that he could set things to rights again, and once more fix 
 firm the seat which was shaking under him ; but he could not pro- 
 cure an audience, and was even commanded to resign his key of 
 private admission into his majesty's closet. 
 
 * " At length his sovereign frowns the train of state 
 Mark the keen glance, and watch the sign to hate." 
 
 Johnson' i Imitation ofJvvenafi Tenth Satin.
 
 660 ADVEXTUKES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 This last requisition convinced him that there was no hope, and 
 he now made up his mind in earnest for retirement. He looked 
 over his papers, and had the prudence to burn a good number ; he 
 then selected a small household for his retreat, and publicly 
 announced his departure for the next day. Apprehending insult 
 from the mob, if the time and manner of his setting out were pub- 
 lic, he escaped early in the- morning through the kitchens out at the 
 back door, got into a shabby, hired carriage, with his confessor and 
 me, and reached in safety the road leading to Loeches, a village on 
 his own estate, where his countess had founded a magnificent con- 
 vent of Dominican nuns. 
 
 CHAPTEE X. 
 
 A* DIFFICULT BUT SUCCESSFUL WEANING FEOM THE WORLD. THE 
 MINISTER'S EMPLOYMENTS IN HIS RETREAT. 
 
 MADAME D'OLIVAEEZ staid behind her husband some 
 few days, with the intention of trying what her tears and 
 entreaties might do towards his recall ; but in vain did she pros- 
 trate herself before their majesties; the king paid not the least 
 attention to her . pleadings and remonstrances, though artfully 
 adapted for effect, and the queen, who hated her mortally, took a 
 savage pleasure in her tears. The minister's lady, however, was not 
 easily discouraged ; she stooped so low as to solicit their good offices 
 from the ladies of the bed-chamber ; but the fruit of all this mean- 
 ness was only the sad conviction that it excited more contempt than 
 pity. Heart-broken at having degraded herself by supplications so 
 humiliating and yet so unavailing, she departed to her husband, 
 and mourned with him the loss of a situation which, under a reign 
 like that of Philip the Fourth, was little short of sovereign power. 
 
 The accounts her ladyship brought from Madrid were wormwood 
 to the duke. " Your enemies," said she, sobbing, " with the Duke of 
 Medina Celi at their head, are loud in the king's praises for your 
 removal, and the people triumph in your disgrace with an insolent 
 joy, as if the cloud of adversity were to be dispelled by the breath 
 which dissolved your administration." " Madam," said my master, 
 " follow my example ; suppress your discontent ; we must drive 
 before the storm when we cannot weather it. I did think, indeed, 
 that my favor would only be eclipsed with the lamp of life a com- 
 mon illusion of ministers and favorites, who forget that they
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 661 
 
 breathe but at the good pleasure of their sovereign. Was not the 
 Duke of Lerma as much mistaken as myself, though fondly relying 
 on his purple as a pledge for the lasting tenure of his authority ?" 
 
 Thus did my lord duke preach patience to the partner of his 
 cares, while his own bosom heaved under the direct pressure of 
 anxiety. The frequent despatches from Don Henry, who was stay- 
 ing about the court to pick up information, kept him continually on 
 the fret. Scipio was the messenger, for he was still about the per- 
 son of that young nobleman, though I had relinquished my post on 
 his marriage. Sometimes we heard of changes in the inferior de- 
 partments of office, solely for the purpose of wreaking vengeance on 
 his creatures, and filling up the vacancies with his enemies. Then 
 Don Lewis de Haro was represented as advancing in favor, and 
 likely to be made prime minister. But the most mortifying circum- 
 stance of all was the change in the viceroyalty of Naples, which was 
 taken from his friend the Duke de Medina de las Torres, and be- 
 stowed on the High Admiral of Castille, who was his bitterest 
 enemy. For this there was no other motive than the pleasure of 
 giving pain to a fallen favorite. 
 
 For the first three months, his lordship gave himself up in hia 
 solitude a prey to disappointment and regret; but his confessor, a 
 holy and pious Dominican, supporting his religious zeal with manly 
 eloquence, succeeded in pouring the balm of consolation into his 
 soul. By continually representing to him, with apostolic energy, 
 that his eternal salvation was now the only object worth his care, 
 he weaned him gradually from the uses of this world. His excel- 
 lency was no longer panting for news from Madrid, but learning a 
 new and important lesson, how to die. Madame d'Olivarez, too, 
 making a virtue of necessity, sought refuge for herself in the mater- 
 nal guardianship of her convent, where Providence had reared up, 
 for her edification in faith and good works, a sisterhood of holy 
 maidens, whose spiritual discourses fed her soul, as if with manna 
 in the wilderness. My master's peace within his own bosom ad- 
 vanced as he gradually withdrew from sublunary things. The em- 
 ployment of his day was thus laid out almost the whole morning 
 was devoted to religious duties till dinner-time, and after dinner, 
 for about two hours, he played at different games with me and some 
 of his confidential domestics ; he then generally retired alone into 
 his closet till sunset, when he walked round his garden, or rode out 
 into the neighborhood either with his confessor or me. 
 
 One day when I was alone with him, and was particularly struck 
 with his apparent self-complacency, I took the liberty of congratu- 
 lating his lordship on his complete reconciliation to retirement. 
 "Use, however late acquired, is second nature," answered he; "for
 
 662 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 
 
 though I have all my life been accustomed to the bustle of business, 
 I assure you that I become every day more and more attached to 
 this calm and peaceful mode of life." 
 
 CHAPTEE XI. 
 
 A CHANGE IN HIS LORDSHIP FOR THE WORSE. THE MARVELLOUS CAUSE 
 AND MELANCHOLY CONSEQUENCES OF HIS DEJECTION. 
 
 HIS excellency sometimes amused himself with gardening, by 
 way of variety. One day, as I was watching his progress, he 
 said, jokingly, "You see, Santillane, a fallen minister can turn 
 gardener at last." "Nature will prevail, my lord," answered I. 
 " You plant and water something useful at Loeches, while Diony- 
 sius of Syracuse whipped school-boys at Corinth " My master was 
 not displeased either with the comparison or the compliment. 
 
 We were all delighted at the castle to see our protector, rising 
 above the cloud of adversity, take pleasure in so novel a mode of 
 life; but we soon perceived an alarming change He became 
 gloomy, thoughtful, and melancholy. Our parties at play were all 
 given up, and no efforts could succeed to divert his mind. From 
 dinner-time till evening he never left .his closet. We thought the 
 dreams of vanished greatness had returned to break his rest ; and 
 in this opinion the reverend Dominican gave the rein to his elo- 
 quence ; but it could not outstrip the course of that hypochondriac 
 malady, which triumphed over all opposition 
 
 It seemed to me there was some deeper cause, which it behooved 
 a sincere friend to fathom. Taking advantage of our being alone 
 together, " My lord," said I, in a tone of mingled respect and affec- 
 tion, " whence is it that you are no longer so cheerful as heretofore ? 
 Has your philosophy lost ground ? or has the world recovered its 
 allurements? Surely you would not plunge again into that gulf 
 where your virtue must inevitably be shipwrecked I" " No, Heaven 
 be praised !" replied the minister ; " my part at court has long faded 
 from my memory, and its trappings from my eyes." "Indeed ! why, 
 then," resumed I, " since you have strength enough to banish false 
 regrets, are you so weak as to indulge a melancholy which alarms 
 us all? What is the matter with you, my dear master?" continued 
 I, falling at his knees ; " some secret sorrow preys upon you ; can 
 you hide it from Santillane, whose zeal, discretion, and fidelity you
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 663 
 
 have so often experienced ? Why am I so unhappy as to have lost 
 your confidence ?" 
 
 " You still possess it," said his lordship ; " but I must own, it is 
 reluctantly that I shall reveal the subject of my distress ; yet the 
 importunities of such a friend are irresistible. To no one else could 
 I impart so singular a confidence. Yes, I am the prey of a morbid 
 melancholy which eats inwardly into my vitals : a spectre haunts 
 me every moment, arrayed in the most terrific form of preternatural 
 horror. In vain have I argued with myself that it is a vision of 
 the brain, an unreal mockery: its continual presentments blast my 
 sight, and unseat my reason. Though my understanding teaches 
 me that in looking on this spectre I stare at vacancy, my spirits are 
 too weak to derive comfort from the conviction. Thus much have 
 you extorted from me , now judge whether the cause of my melan- 
 choly is fit to be divulged." 
 
 With equal grief and astonishment did I listen to the strange 
 confession, which implied a total derangement of the nervous sys- 
 tem. " This, my lord," said I, " must proceed from injudicious absti- 
 nence." "So I thought at first," answered he; "and to try the 
 experiment, I have been eating more than usual for some days past ; 
 but it is all to no purpose , the phantom takes his stand as usual." 
 " It will vanish," said I, " if your excellency will only divert your 
 mind by your accustomed relaxations with your household. Com- 
 pany and gentle occupation are the best remedies for these affections 
 of the spirits " 
 
 In a short time after this conversation, his lordship became 
 seriously indisposed, and sent for two notaries from Madrid to make 
 his will. Three capital physicians followed in their track, who had 
 the reputation of curing their patients now and then. As soon as it 
 was noised about the castle that these last undertakers were arrived, 
 the case was given up for lost ; weeping and gnashing of teeth took 
 place universally, and the family mourning was ordered. They 
 brought with them their usual understrappers, an apothecary and 
 a surgeon. 
 
 Behind him sneaks 
 Another mortal, not unlike himself, 
 Of jargon full, with terms obscure o'ercharged, 
 Apothecary called, whose fetid hands 
 With power mechanic, and with charms arcane, 
 Apollo, god of medicine, has endued. 
 
 BRAMSTON. 
 
 The notaries were suffered to earn their fee first, after which, 
 death's notaries prepared to take a bond of the patient. They 
 practiced in the school of Sangrado, and from their very first con- 
 sultation, ordered bleeding so frequently and freely that in six days
 
 664 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 
 
 they brought his lordship to the point of death, and on the seventh 
 delivered him from the terror of his sprite. 
 
 After the minister's decease, a lively and sincere sorrow reigned 
 in the castle of Loeches. The whole household wept bitterly. Far 
 from deriving consolation from the certainty of being remembered 
 in his will, there was not a dependent who would not willingly 
 have saved his life by the sacrifice of the legacy. As for me, whom 
 he most delighted in, attached to him as I was from disinterested 
 friendship, my grief was more acute than that of the rest. I ques- 
 tion whether Antonia cost me more tears. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 PROCEEDINGS AT THE CASTLE OF LOECHES AFTER HIS LORDSHIP'S DEATH. 
 THE COURSE WHICH SANTILLANE ADOPTED. 
 
 THE minister, according to his last injunctions, was buried, 
 without pomp and without procession in the convent, with a 
 dirge of our lamentations. After the funeral, Madame d'Olivarez 
 called us together to hear the will read, with which the household 
 had good reason to be satisfied. Every one had a legacy propor- 
 tioned to his claim, and none less than two thousand crowns -. 
 mine was the largest, amounting to ten thousand pistoles, as a 
 mark of his singular regard, The hospitals were not forgotten, 
 and provision was made for annual commemoration in several 
 convents. 
 
 Madame d'Olivarez sent all the household to Madrid to receive 
 their legacies from Don Raymond Caporis, who had orders to pay 
 them but I could not be of the party, in consequence of a violent 
 fever from distress of mind, which confined me to the castle for 
 more than a week. During that time, the reverend Dominican paid 
 me all possible attention. He had conceived a friendship for me, 
 which was not confined to my worldly interests, and was anxious to 
 know how I meant to dispose of myself on my recovery. I answered 
 that I had not yet made up my mind upon the subject: there were 
 moments when my feelings strongly prompted towards a religious 
 vow. " Precious moments!" exclaimed the Dominican; "you will 
 do well to profit by them. I advise you as a friend to retire to our 
 convent at Madrid, for example, there to become a pious benefactor 
 by the free gift of your whole fortune, and to die in the livery of
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 665 
 
 St. Dominic. Many very questionable Christians have made amends 
 for a life of sin by so holy an end." 
 
 In the actual disposition of my mind, this advice was not un- 
 palatable ; and I promised to reflect upon it. But on consulting 
 Scipio, who came to see me immediately after the monk, he treated 
 the very notion as the phantom of a distempered brain. "For 
 shame !" said he ; " does not your estate at Lirias offer a more 
 eligible seclusion? If you were delighted with it formerly, the 
 charm will be increased tenfold, now that the lapse of years has 
 moderated your sense of pleasure, and softened down your taste to 
 the simple beauties of nature." 
 
 It was no difficult matter to operate a change in my inclinations. 
 " My friend," said I, " you carry it decidedly against the advocate 
 of St. Dominic. We will go back to Lirias as soon as I am well enough 
 to travel." This happened shortly ; for as the fever subsided, I soon 
 felt myself sufficiently strong to put my design in execution. We 
 went first to Madrid. The sight of that city gave me far other sen- 
 sations than heretofore. As I knew that almost its whole population 
 held in horror the memory of a minister of whom I cherished the 
 most affectionate remembrance, 1 could not feel at my ease within 
 its precincts. My stay was therefore limited to five or six days, 
 while Scipio was making the necessary arrangements for our rusti- 
 cation. In the meantime, 1 waited on Caporis, and received my 
 legacy in ready money. I likewise made my arrangements with 
 the receivers for the regular remittance of my pensions, and settled 
 all my affairs in due order. 
 
 The evening before our departure, I asked the son of Cosclina 
 whether he had received his farewell from Don Henry. " Yes," 
 answered he, " we took leave of each other this morning with 
 mutual civility : he went so far as to express his regret that I should 
 quit him ; but however well satisfied he might be with me, I am by 
 no means so with him. Mutual content is like a river, which must 
 have its banks on either side. Besides, Don Henry makes but a 
 pitiful figure at court now; he has fallen into utter contempt; 
 people point at him with their finger in the streets, and call him a 
 Genoese bastard. Judge, then, for yourself, whether it is consistent 
 with my character to keep up the connection." 
 
 We left Madrid one morning at sunrise, and went for Cuen<ja. 
 The following was the order of our equipment : we two in a chaise 
 and pair, three mules, laden with baggage and money, led by two 
 grooms and two stout footmen, well armed, in the rear ; the grooms 
 wore sabres, and the postilion had a pair of pistols in his holsters. 
 As we were seven men in all, and six of us determined fellows, I took 
 the road gayly, without trembling for my legacy. In the villages
 
 6G6 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 through which we passed, our mules chimed their bells merrily, and 
 the peasants ran to their doors to see us pass, supposing it to be at 
 least the parade of some nobleman going to take possession of some 
 viceroyalty. 
 
 CHAPTER XLII. 
 
 THE RETURN OF GIL BLAS TO HIS SEAT. HIS JOY AT FINDING HIS 
 GODDAUGHTER 8EEAPHINA MARRIAGEABLE. 
 
 WE were a fortnight on our journey to.Lirias, having no occa- 
 sion to make rapid stages. The sight of my own domain 
 brought melancholy thoughts into my mind, with the image of my 
 lost Antonia ; but better topics of reflection came to my aid, with a 
 full purpose to look at things on the brighter side, and the lapse of 
 two-and-twenty years, which had gradually impaired the force of 
 tender regret. 
 
 As soon as I entered the castle, Beatrice and her daughter greeted 
 me most cordially, while the family scene was interesting in the 
 extreme. When their mutual transports were over, I looked earn- 
 estly at my goddaughter, saying, " Can this be the Seraphina whom 
 I left in her cradle ? How tall and pretty ! We must make a good 
 match for her." "What! my dear godfather," cried my little girl, 
 with an enchanting blush, " you have but just seen me, and do you 
 want to get rid of me at once ?" " No, my lovely child," replied I, 
 " we hope not to lose you by marriage, but to find a husband for you 
 in the neighborhood." 
 
 " There is one ready to your hands," said Beatrice. " Seraphina 
 made a conquest one day at mass. Her suitor has declared his pas- 
 sion, and asked my consent. I told him that his acceptance de- 
 pended on her father and her godfather ; and here you are to deter- 
 mine for yourselves." 
 
 " What is the character of this village lordling ?" said Scipio. " Is 
 he not, like his fellows, the little tyrant of the soil, and insolent to 
 those who have no pedigree to boast ?" " The furthest from it in 
 the world," answered Beatrice; "the young man is gentle in his 
 temper and polished in his manners; handsome withal, and some- 
 what under thirty." "You paint him in flattering colors," said I 
 to Beatrice; "what is his name?" "Don Juan deJutella," replied 
 Scipio's wife ; " it is not long since he came to his inheritance ; he 
 lives on his own estate, about a mile off, with a younger sister, of
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 667 
 
 whom he takes care." " I once knew something of his family," 
 observed I ; "it is one of the best in Valencia." " I care less for 
 lineage," cried Scipio, " than for the qualities of the heart and 
 mind ; this Don Juan will exactly suit us, if he is a good sort of 
 man." " He is belied else," said Seraphina, with a blushing interest 
 in our conversation ; " the inhabitants of Lirias, who know him 
 well, say all the good of him you can conceive." I smiled at this ; 
 and her father, not less quick-sighted, saw plainly that her heart 
 had a share in the testimony of her tongue. 
 
 The gentleman soon heard of our arrival, and paid his respects to 
 us within two days. His address was pleasing and manly, so as to 
 prepossess us in his favor. He affected merely to welcome us home 
 as a neighbor. Our reception was such as not to discourage the 
 repetition of his visit; but not a word of Seraphina! When he 
 was gone, Beatrice asked us how we liked him. We could have no 
 objection to make, and gave it as our opinion that Seraphina could 
 not dispose of herself better. 
 
 The next day, Scipio and I returned the visit. We took a guide, 
 and luckily ; for otherwise it might have puzzled us to find the 
 place. It was not till our actual arrival that it was visible ; for the 
 mansion was situated at the foot of a mountain, in the middle of a 
 wood, whose lofty trees hid it from our view. There was an antique 
 and ruinous appearance about it, which spoke more for the descent 
 than the wealth of its proprietor. On our entrance, however, the 
 elegance of the interior arrangement made amends for the dilapi- 
 dated grandeur of the outer walls. 
 
 Don Juan received us in a handsome room, where he introduced 
 his sister Dorothea, a lady between nineteen and twenty years of 
 age. She was a good deal tricked out, as if she had primed and 
 loaded herself for conquest, in expectation of our visit. Thus pre- 
 senting all her charms in full force, she did by me much as Antonia 
 had done before ; but I managed my raptures so discreetly that even 
 Scipio had no suspicion. Our conversation turned, as on the pre- 
 ceding day, on the mutual pleasure of good neighborhood. Still he 
 did not open on the subject of Seraphina, nor did we attempt to 
 draw him out. During our interview, I often cast a side glance at 
 Dorothea, though with all the reserve of delicate apprehension; 
 whenever our eyes met, the citadel of my heart was ready to sur- 
 render. To describe the obj.ect of my love justly, as well as feel- 
 ingly, her beauty was not of the most perfect kind ; her skin was 
 of a dazzling whiteness, and her lips united the color with the 
 fragrance of the rose; but her features were not so regular and well 
 proportioned as might have been wished ; yet, altogether, she won 
 my heart.
 
 668 ADVENTURES OF GIL XL AS. 
 
 In short, I left the mansion of Jutella a different man from what 
 I was on entering it ; so that, returning to Lirias with my whole 
 soul absorbed in Dorothea, I saw and spoke only of her. " How is 
 this, master?" said Scipio with a look of astonishment; " you seem 
 to be very much taken with Don Juan's sister ! Can you be in love 
 with her?" "Yes, my friend," answered I; "to my shame be it 
 spoken. Since the death of Antonia, how many lovely females 
 have passed in review before me with indifference ! and must my 
 passions be irresistibly kindled at this time of life?" "Indeed, 
 sir," replied the son of Cosclina, " you may bless your stars, instead 
 of squabbling with yourself: you are not so old as to make your 
 sacrifice at the shrine of love a by-word ; and time has not yet 
 ploughed such furrows on your brow as to render hopeless the desire 
 of pleasing. When you see Don Juan next, ask him boldly for his 
 sister : he cannot refuse her to you ; and besides, if his views in 
 her settlement are ambitious, how can he do better? You have a 
 patent of nobility in your pocket, and upon that your posterity may 
 ride easy ; after five generations, when pedigree herself shall be lost 
 in the confusion of her materials, it may exercise the diligence of 
 learned inquiry to trace the family of the Santillanes to the begin- 
 ning of its archives, and consecrate the fame of its founder by the 
 indistinctness of his story." 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 A DOUBLE MARRIAGE. CONCLUSION OF THE HISTORY. 
 
 BY this discourse, Scipio encouraged me to declare myself, with- 
 out considering how he exposed me to the danger of a refusal. 
 My own resolution was taken with fear and trembling. Though I 
 carried my years well, and might have sunk at least ten, it did not 
 seem unlikely that a young beauty might turn up her nose at the 
 disparity. I determined, however, to bolt the question the first time 
 I saw her brother, who was not without his trepidations on the sub- 
 ject of my goddaughter. 
 
 He returned my call the next morning, just as I had done dress- 
 ing. " Signor de Santillane," said he, " I wish to speak with you on 
 some serious business." I took him into my closet, where entering 
 on the subject at once, "I imagine," continued he, "that you are 
 not unacquainted with the purpose of my visit. I love Seraphina;
 
 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 669 
 
 you are all in all with her father ; I must request you, therefore, to 
 intercede and procure for me the accomplishment of my heart's de- 
 sire ; then shall I have to thank you for the prime bliss of my ex- 
 istence." " Signor Don Juan," answered I, " as you come to the 
 point at once, you can have no objection to my following your ex- 
 ample: My good offices are fully at your service, and I shall hope 
 for yours with your sister in return." 
 
 Don Juan was agreeably surprised. "Can it be possible," ex- 
 claimed he, " that Dorothea should have made a conquest of your 
 heart since yesterday?" " It is even so," said I, " and it would make 
 me the happiest of men if the proposal should meet with your joint 
 approbation." " You may rely on that," replied he ; " though with 
 some pretensions to family pride, yours is not an alliance to be de- 
 spised." " You flatter me highly," rejoined I ; " that you are not 
 mealy-mouthed about receiving a commoner into your pedigree is a 
 mark of good sense ; but even if nobility had been a necessary in- 
 gredient in your sister's requisites for a husband, we should not have 
 quarrelled on that account. I have worked out twenty years in the 
 trammels of office ; and the king, as a reward of my long labors, has 
 granted me a patent of nobility." This high-minded gentleman read 
 my credentials over with extreme satisfaction, and returning them, 
 told me that Dorothea was mine. " And Beraphina yours," ex- 
 claimed I. 
 
 Thus were the two marriages agreed on between us. The consent 
 of the intended brides was all that remained ; for we neither of us 
 presumed to control the inclinations of our wards. My friend there- 
 fore carried home my proposal to his sister, and I called Scipio, 
 Beatrice, and my goddaughter together, for the purpose of laying 
 open a similar project. Beatrice voted loudly for immediate accept- 
 ance, and Seraphina silently. The father did not say much against 
 it, but boggled a little at the fortune he must give to a gentleman 
 whose seat required such immediate and extensive repairs. I stopped 
 Scipio's mouth by telling him that was my concern, and that I 
 should contribute four thousand pistoles to the architect's estimate. 
 
 In the evening, Don Juan came again. "Your business is going 
 swimmingly," said I ; " pray Heaven mine may promise as fairly." 
 " Better it cannot," answered he ; " my influence was quite unneces- 
 sary to prevail with Dorothea ; your person had made its impression, 
 and your manners pleased her. You were afraid she might not like 
 you ; while she, with more reason, having nothing to offer you but 
 her heart and hand." . . . "What would she offer more?" inter- 
 rupted I, out of my wits with joy. " Since the lovely Dorothea can 
 think of me without repugnance, I ask no more : my fortune is 
 ample, and the possession of her is the only dowry I should value."
 
 670 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 
 
 Don Juan and myself, highly delighted at having brought our 
 views to bear so soon, were for hastening our nuptials, and cutting 
 off all superfluous ceremonies. I closeted the gentleman with Sera- 
 phina's parents ; the settlements were soon agreed on, and he took 
 his leave, promising to return next day with Dorothea. My eager 
 desire of appearing agreeable in that lady's eyes occasioned me to 
 spend three hours at least in adjusting my dress, and communicating 
 the air of a lover to my person ; but I could not do it so much to my 
 mind as in my younger days. The preparations for courtship are a 
 pleasure to a young man, but a serious business and hazardous 
 speculation to one who is beginning to be oldish. And yet it turned 
 out better than my hopes or deserts ; for Don Juan's sister received 
 me so graciously as to put me in good humor with myself. I was 
 charmed with the turn of her mind, and foreboded that, with dis- 
 creet management and much deference, I might really get her to like 
 me as well as anybody else. Full of this sweet hope, I sent for the 
 lawyers to draw up the two contracts, and for the clergyman of 
 Paterna to bring us better acquainted with our mistresses. 
 
 Thus did I light the torch of Hymen for the second time, and it 
 did not burn blue with the brimstone of repentance. Dorothea, like 
 a virtuous wife, made a pleasure of her duty ; in gratitude for the 
 pains I took to anticipate all her wishes, she soon loved me as well 
 as if I had been younger. Don Juan and my goddaughter were most 
 enthusiastic in their mutual ardor ; and what was most unprece- 
 dented of all, the two sisters-in-law loved one another sincerely. Don 
 Juan was a man in whom all good qualities met; my esteem for him 
 increased daily, and he did not repay it with ingratitude. In short, 
 we were a happy and united family : we could scarcely bear the in- 
 terval of separation between evening and morning. Our time was 
 divided between Lirias and Jutella. His excellency's pistoles made 
 the old battlements to raise their heads again, and the castle to re- 
 sume its lordly port. 
 
 For these three years, reader, I have led a life of unmixed bliss 
 in this beloved society. To perfect my satisfaction, Heaven has 
 deigned to send me two smiling babes, whose education will be the 
 amusement of my declining years ; and if ever husband might ven- 
 ture to hazard so bold an hypothesis, I devoutly believe myself their 
 father.
 
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