33 \Q
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC. 
 
 IN FIVE CANTOS. 
 
 Behold thy Gods, Ifrael I 
 
 i KINGS. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Printed for M. HINX^AN, in Pater-nofter-Row. 1763. 
 [Price Two Shillings and Six- pence.]
 
 r PATRIOTISM, 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC. 
 
 CANTO Ll> cgt<k) ; eM 
 
 W AS Night; the Voice of Jollity was hulh'd, 
 Doz'd all her Vot'ries, reafbnably flufh'd ; 
 Song, Argument, Invention, Laughter, Jeft, 
 Wit, Bawdry, Criticifm, funk to reft : 
 Scandal 'had emptyM all his Tub on BUTE, 5 
 
 Abufe of Royalty itfelf was mute. 
 Sleep in his pleafmg Bands had all things ty'd, 
 All but the Eyes of diiappointed PRIDE. 
 
 876G5G A z She
 
 4 PATRIOTISM, Canto i. 
 
 She lay revolving in her anxious mind, 
 
 How Re/ignation had too much refign'd ; i o 
 
 That Places were difpens'd as others will'd, 
 
 Made vacant fbme, and Vacancies were fill'd ; 
 
 New Statefinen at the Helm ufurp'd her Trade, 
 
 And glibly laiPd the Ship without her Aid. 
 
 Seeking Repofe from Side to Side fhe flings, 15 
 
 No Change of Pofture Paule of Anguifh brings. 
 
 Each grinding Thought Alleviation fcorns, 
 
 And fharpens all the Goofe-down into Thorns. 
 
 Forth from the loathed Bed in hafte (he flew, 
 And round her weary M Limbs her Veftrnents threw. 20 
 Enwrought with Gold, in Lelac Purple dy'd, 
 The Velvet cas'd her endlefs Length of Side* 
 Two calvelels Bags of Silk then ftretch'd to fee 
 If they could reach from Heel to diftant Knee. 
 
 Next
 
 A M O C K - H E R O I G. 5 
 
 Next Splay-foot Shoes fhe to her Infteps girt, 25 
 Shoes which difclain'd, yet ftill were doom'd to Dirt ; 
 Her Thigh fuftain'd a Sword unknown to War, 
 And beam'd upon her Breaft a Silver Star, 
 Whofe Rays with magic Influence could warm 
 Almoft to Confequence the languid Form. 30 
 
 Accoutred thus, forth of her Doors fhe went, 
 And her dark Vifit was to FACTION bent; 
 Refblv'd, like Heav'n-rejefted Saul, to try 
 What Counfel t'other Party might fupply. 
 Onward fhe ftrides, impatient of Delay, 35 
 
 Flound'ring thro' ev'ry Kennel in her Way; 
 Save that at Charing-crofs fhe flack'd her Tread, 
 And thought fhe faw poor Charles without his Head. 
 Re-haft'ning on thro' the long Strand fhe came, 
 Then pafs'd the Temple, and ador'd its Name; 40 
 
 Now
 
 6 PATRIOTISM, Canto r. 
 
 Now reach'd St. Paul's, and blefs'd the Lord that there 
 Tho' He was prais'd, 'twas with unwilling Pray'r. 
 Next in a grateful Rapture ftretch'd to Bow, 
 And heard th' unmuffled Tongue of Night ftrike Two. 
 Acknowledging the Omen, fhe advanced, 45 
 
 While fudden Vigour thro' each Sinew danc'd. 
 
 High on a hundred Columns, whole dead Weight 
 Prefles the ruftic Bafe in aukward State, 
 Where hardly they fuftain, their Shafts unbent, 
 The Load of Cornice, and of Pediment r O 
 
 Which rough with Sculpture in ftrong Emblem clad, 
 Tells us, That Riches make a City mad; 
 The pondVous Manfion-houfe of FACTION fbnds, 
 Rais'd by o'er-reaching Heads and griping Hands. 
 
 Before
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 7 
 
 Before the Gate, a Giant fierce and fell, 55 
 
 Stalk'd Oppqfitiori) dreadful Centinel ! 
 And Who goes there ^ he cry A, yourfelf explain; 
 A Friend, fhe faid, to Denmark^ not the Dane. 
 Her well-known Voice he recollefted ftrait, 
 Quick every Bolt fhoots backward on the Gate, 60 
 Bolts to endure which never own'd the Pow'r, 
 But only made to ierve the prefent Hour, 
 And yet the very beft, for Strength and Size, 
 The Blackfmith's Place and Penfion could devife. 
 
 Of canker'd Brafs and rufty Ir'n each Door, 65 
 
 Stood mafTive, fpirtled thick with human Gore, 
 Which Popularity for ever draws 
 From Fools, in Patriot- Rebellion's Caufe. 
 Open they burft, with defperate Recoil, 
 The jarring Hinges fcream for want of Oil, 70 
 
 Loud
 
 8 PATRIOTISM, Canto i. 
 
 Loud and difcordant, as when Civil Rage 
 
 Incites two kindred Armies to engage. 
 
 Near Aylefbury firft caught the horrid Sound, 
 
 And echo'd all its Terrors with rebound, 
 
 Concord at diftant Stowe perceiv'd the Yell, 75 
 
 While down her ill-adapted Vizor fell ; 
 
 Extremeft Exeter rock'd to the Noife, 
 
 And aided its hoarfe Thunder with her Voice : 
 
 At once her Cyders four, and all around 
 
 Her Apple-bloffoms ftrew the blufhing Ground. 80 
 
 And now, where yawn'd the Portal rude and vaft, 
 To FACTION'S Refidence the Goddefs paft. 
 Clofe to the Door, in the firft Veftibule, 
 Sat Clamour, Riot, Infult, and Mifrule^ 
 Stern Menace, Licence grown to dang'rous fize, 8 5 
 Reproach, and an Infinitude of Lyes. 
 
 A thoufand
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC 9 
 
 A thoufand Voices bellow through the Room,, 
 A thoufand Echoes datter 'galnft the Dome ; 
 Copious, but unconnected Eloquence, 
 Words of fierce Import, but of little Senfe ; 90 
 
 Not meant to mean, and therefore to appear 
 More irritative to the vulgar Ear. 
 There might be heard, 'midft other piercing Cries, 
 Liberty ! Property ! and no Excife ! 
 Of Magna Cbarta the more dreadful Roar ; 95 
 
 Prerogative, and arbitrary Pow'r : 
 There Habeas-corpus howl'd, from Jail broke loofe, 
 Slav'ry, and Privilege, and wooden Shoes 
 Corruption, Favourites, and no Addrefi 
 And uncontroul'd the Licence of the Prels: 100 
 
 Sounds that all Senfe of Order could erafe, 
 But get the Man, who breaks thro* all, a Pla^e. 
 
 B Stun'd
 
 ,0 PATRIOTISM, Canto i. 
 
 Stun'd with the deaf ning Peal fhe pafs'd along, 
 (Yet paffing would carefs the friendly Throng) 
 Thro' vaft Saloons which fpoke Mayr-royal State, 1 05 
 Rich without Tafte, and without Grandeur, great. 
 Yet here the Chiffel and the Pencil ftrove 
 
 Beft to record the Objefts of Mob-love. 
 Tribunes, and Ephori, and Demagogues, 
 
 By Men call'd Patriots, but by Gods plain Rogues; i IQ 
 
 Such as, provided they themfelves grew great, 
 
 Had no Objection to fubvert a State. 
 
 Nor wanted here each dirty, dreadful Job, 
 
 That Faff ion perpetrates to pleafe the Mob. 
 
 To pleafe the Mob, here mighty Straffbrd bled, 1 15- 
 
 And Laud laid down his venerable head. 
 
 To pleafe the Mob, Byng ftains the blufliing Deep* 
 
 And Blakeney earns a Peerage in his Sleep. 
 
 To
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC, 1 1 
 
 To pleafe the Mob, our Fleets their Canvas ftraiii, 
 
 And Expeditions hide the wond'ring Main, 1 20 
 
 The Main more wond'ring wafts us back, alas f 
 
 Thin'd from the Wars of Rocbfort and St> Cas : 
 
 What matter ? fmce Defeat our Joy inspires* 
 
 And Cqffel loft can light a thoufand Fires. 
 
 By having pleas'd the Mob, here Cromwell flood, 125 
 
 And fliew'd how private thrives by public Good ; 
 
 And might have fhewn us Gulls, if Gulls could fee, 
 
 That Slavry tracks th' Abufe of Liberty. 
 
 Confefs'd at length the Patriot-Tyrant reign'd, 
 
 And fhapt that Freedom Charles had only ftrain'd. 130 
 
 Hampden was here, in his Eidolon here, 
 
 A would-be Tutor to the Royal Heir, 
 
 But he himfelf dwells in the Fields of Fame, 
 
 Wedded to Liberty's immortal Name. 
 
 B 2 And
 
 iz PATRIOTISM, Canto i. 
 
 And here in Tints more recent might be view'd, 135 
 
 Inftruftive Pifture of Court Gratitude ! 
 
 How round their Sov'reign his great Servants ftand, 
 
 While fierce Rebellion gores the bleeding Land; 
 
 Faith, Honour, Duty, Loyalty, the Laws, 
 
 Urge them, no doubt, to perilh in his Caufe ? 140 
 
 No, but to ferve with Granville they refufe; 
 
 So great a Crime in Monarchs 'tis, to cbufkl 
 
 A hundred other equal Deeds appear, 
 
 Nay, half the EngH/h Hiftory was here. 
 
 While, over all the reft, conspicuous fliines 145 
 
 Old Sarah's Legacy in Golden Lines. 
 
 Around in lefs Compartments were beftowtt 
 Of underling Incendiaries a Crowd,, 
 Such as employ'd the Pulpit or the Prefs,. 
 T* enforce the Doftrines of Licentioufhefs ; 1 50 
 
 Here
 
 A MQCK-HEROI C r 5 
 Here Party canoniz'd fuch Denizens, 
 Whofe Ears had paid the Forfeit of their Pens ; 
 And while in all her glaring Daub fhe paints, 
 Villains grow Heroes, Scoundrels turn to Saints. 
 
 Our Goddefs midft the reft herfelf defcry'd, 155 
 Mix'd with the Leaders of the other Side ; 
 " And, ah ! fhe faid, the very Walls can trace, 
 " How often we change Principles for Place." 
 
 ' ^1^A\ a^<ti ^'1 /ir n^flhriD o5'H'' r ' 
 
 END OF CANTO I. 
 
 P A-
 
 i 4 PATRIOTISM, Canto 2, 
 
 rj fe taklv*' 
 
 . 
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 VvCiO cfi; 
 
 A 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC. 
 
 > mbfioJ iff* rlriw fa/iM 
 CANTO II. 
 
 //b ^i oft: 1 rfs f faA ij 
 
 TN the Recefe of fomethiiig like a Tomb, 
 
 Which Architecture -, (fick of Cr/m* and /?^^^, 
 And copying what never was at all,) 
 Is pleas'd to chriften an Egyptian Hall*, 
 Our Goddefs, whom She fought, at length furvey'd, 5 
 In anti-kingly Majefty array 'd. 
 Bufy flie found Him in this folemn place, 
 At folemn Sacrifice, with folemn Face. 
 
 i He
 
 A M O C K - H E R O I C 15 
 
 He but to Commerce (corn d to pour a Pray'r, 
 
 No other Deity employ 'd his Care ; i o 
 
 A ' Q f *!* 
 
 All other Altars ftodd inconfecrate, 
 
 For her's no Offering was too pure or great. 
 
 eirf ihi.v ry<h c o[ni/T oHT 
 
 Of folid Gold, and of enormous fize, 
 Yet not fb big her Belly as her Eyes, 
 She flood; and feem'd as fhe would hide the Globe 15 
 Beneath the Drap'ry of her flowing Robe. 
 Faft by, with full Extent of Gullet grac'd, 
 Her Attribute, the Cormorant^ was plac'd. 
 K^Bffl?."oi ^bltux 
 
 The Viftims He had taken Care to cull, 
 All without Blemifh, all of blackeft Wool, 20 
 
 All newly bought, all newly flay'd alive, 
 A Decatomb, of Negro Slaves twice five,,
 
 16 PATRIOTISM, Canto 2. 
 
 He on their reeking Mufcles, red and blue, 
 
 Sharp Vinegar, with Salt and Pepper, threw ; 
 
 They writh with Pain convotv'd. As when to cram 25 
 
 Some Citizen's unfathomable Wem, 
 
 The Turtle, riven with his Mail, poor Fifli ! 
 
 Perceives himfelf begin to grow a Difh ; 
 
 Convuls'd, each undulating Fibre plays 
 
 In Waves of Agony a thouland ways. 30 
 
 So fixt the inextinguifhable Soul, 
 
 That drefs'd, perhaps he feels thy teeth, K * *. 
 
 The Goddefe, no Confufion to create, 
 Impatient as (he was, thought fit to wait : 
 Gvilities are ne'er fb duly paid 3 r 
 
 To any Folks, as when we want their Aid. 
 The Ceremony, with Obfervance meek 
 
 'tended, and when done, began to fpeak. 
 
 "Oh
 
 A M O C K-H E R O I C. 17 
 
 " O Thou ! for whom and from w r hom I was fcrm'd, 
 " Whofe Counfel moulded, and whofe Spirit warm'd, 40 
 " To whom originally 'tis I ow r e 
 " Thefe purple Honours, which around me glo\r, 
 " To Thee I come my Sorrows to impart ; 
 " Reft fhuns thefe Eyes, and Care corrodes this Heart : 
 " Do thou affift, in this Conjunction nice, 45 
 
 " Me and the Party with thy {age Advice. 
 " Thus far, indeed, Succefs has crown'd our Arms, 
 " BUTE quits; nor lhaken with our fierce Alarms, 
 " For who our Roar and Riot would regard, 
 " That in his Confcience feeks for his Reward? 50 
 " But that the honeft Fool had fix'd before 
 " To make his fav'rite Peace, and throw up Pow'r. 
 " When he like Phineas in the Gap had flood, 
 " To fave the People, and had ftaunch'd their Blood, 
 
 C "He
 
 18 PATRIOTISM, Canto 2. 
 
 " He knew how incompatible muft prove, 55 
 
 " To (erve them, yet retain their fickle Love. 
 
 " While we play'd fafe, Dupe of Benevolence! 
 
 " He ftop'd the Plague, and at his own Expence, 
 
 " For public Quiet, yielding up that Rein 
 
 " We quitted, only to refume again. 60 
 
 " But what are we the better than before ? 
 
 " Our empty Niches know us all no more; 
 
 " Still the State Truncheon flys our eager Graip, 
 
 " And Calumny is at its lateft Gafp. 
 
 " What to do next ! Inliilt can do no more, 6$ 
 
 " Higher than Forty-jive it cannot fbar, 
 
 " Where, to full Pitch of fturdy Vigour grown, 
 
 " It fairly gives the Lye home to the T e: 
 
 " Nothing remains which farther we can drive, 
 4 Or Forty -eight comes next to Forty -five. 70 
 
 " Then
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 19 
 
 } ' ' ' 
 
 " Then fhall we idly fit, hand-cuiPd and dumb, 
 " And let Truth work, and purge away the Scum 
 " We have fermented ? let the Drofs deject, 
 " Till its clear Bofom fhall all Heav'n reflect? 
 " Forbid it Fate 1 forbid it ev'ry Boaft 75 
 
 " We've made to ruin,- or to rule the Roaft I 
 
 " We muft and will have All ; but how to feize, 
 " To Ipill the Cyder, or cut down the Trees, 
 " More Suits at Law commence, more Papers write, 
 " To give more Dinners, and more Guefts invite, 80 
 <c Or the deep, fatal Train to touch with Flame, 
 <c And fire all Aylefbury and Buckingham, 
 " I come to afk ; thy Couniel be my Guide." 
 She faid, and FACTION to her thus reply 'd. 
 
 C 2 "To
 
 20 PATRIOTISM, Canto 2. 
 
 " To raife the Mob by Mafter-Strokes of Art, 85 
 " Inflame the Paffions, and miflead the Heart, 
 " Make happy Subjefts forfeit on their Eafe, 
 
 " Repine at Bleffings, and grow fick of Peace, 
 
 " To pour the Multitude which way we lift, 
 
 " And ere they're injured, let them to refift, ^o 
 
 " Halloo them on, to roar with frantic Zeal, 
 
 <{ Againft Oppreffions which no Soul can feel, 
 
 " Till they defire to ipill their delp'rate Lives, 
 
 " For Printers' 'Prentices' Prerogatives ; 
 
 " To bid a iittle River flow along ^5 
 
 " The ible Criterion to know Right from Wrong, 
 <( With ev'ry Lalh of Infamy impel 
 
 <c The farther Side, becaufe it wont rebel, 
 
 " On all who dare imply we do amifi,, 
 *' Point ready Obloquy's infulting Hifs; 100 
 
 Hold
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 21 
 
 " Hold up, in whomfbe'er we dilapprove, 
 
 " (And that means all who (hare their Mailer's Love) 
 
 " Virtue or Genius, like th' Athenian Owl, 
 
 " To the blunt Peck of ev'ry other Fowl; 
 
 " All the Humanity of BUTE to blot, 105 
 
 " And all thy Candour, MANSFIELD, fink in Scot; 
 
 " Recaft the Royal Virtues, which before 
 
 " The Nation worfhipp'd, and cry down the Ore, 
 
 " To teach the People this indulgent Reign, 
 
 " With ev'ry Charge of Tyranny to ftain, 1 10 
 
 " To (wallow any Contradiction down, 
 
 " In Antonines mild Look fear Nero's Frown, 
 
 " Wreft his Intention, and diftort each Fal, 
 
 <( And lend them Treaibn till they long to aft 
 
 " The Prince againft his Counfellors to move, 1 1 c 
 
 <4 And while we only feem to beg, reprove,
 
 22 PATRIOTISM, Canto 2. 
 
 " In Terms of Duty wrap each boift'rous Deed, 
 
 " Kneel while we ftab, and libel while we plead, 
 
 " FACTION has Pow'r; nay, has already done, 
 
 " And yet but little of our Courfe we've run, 120 
 
 " Much ftill remains ; and we muft tug and drive 
 
 u Ere the great Days of Anarchy revive : 
 
 " A watchful Eye is over all our Game, 
 
 " And while it feems to wink, but takes its Aim. 
 
 " Oh ! had but Fate to HALIFAX decreed 1 25 
 
 " His Seat of Birth on t'other Side the Tweed ! 
 " Had fbme bleak Shire, of Penury the Reign, 
 " More ftarv'd than Famine's Prophecy can feign, 
 " But giv'n him Title, in the gen'ral Ban, 
 " We with the Country, had o'erwhelm'd the Man 3 130 
 " There like Enceladus he'd lain opprefs'd, 
 " With half an Ifland bearing on his Breaft. 
 
 3 But
 
 
 
 <( 
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 23 
 
 " But now, upon fb high a Bafis plac'd, 
 " We're forc'd to leave his Merit undefac'd ; 
 " Out of our Reach, and mocking of our Aim, 135 
 
 " The perfeft Statue refts without a Maim. 
 " But could we hope his Virtues to decry, 
 
 And fhew them blighted to the People's Eye ; 
 
 Would not feme all their Bloom renew, 
 
 And call the blufhing Honours frefh in View? 140 
 " Recount, how Lenity to Prudence join'd 
 " Shone the Reflexion of his Sender's Mind; 
 " How form'd to win by ev'ry honeft Art, 
 <{ Blefs'd by each Voice, and Lord of ev'ry Heart ; 
 " Yet, when a Nation prefs'd him to receive 14^ 
 
 " All that a Nation's Gratitude could give, 
 "The ftrong Allure of Int'reft he withftood, 
 " Above Reward, and paid by, doing good ? 
 
 Here
 
 24 PATRIOTISM, Canto a. 
 
 " Here then we ftick; but ftill of Hope a Gleam 
 " Points thro 5 thedufky Thought its trembling Beam, 1 50 
 " The Deities, from Heav'n felf-exiFd, meet 
 " At a grand Council, and a grander Treat, 
 " To-morrow. Such AMBITION'S high Beheft, 
 " And FOLLY does the Honours of the Feaft. 
 " Be there, the beft Advice fure to receive, 155 
 
 " If Multitude of Couniellors can give : 
 " Till then beneath this Roof remain my Gueft, 
 " Tis Break of Day, and Time to go to reft. 
 
 So faying, her Attendants fhe bid fpread 
 For her great Vifitant the lofty Bed. 1 60 
 
 And firft the Fox's Skin began the Pile, 
 Next of the Bear was ipread the fhaggy Spoil, 
 
 And
 
 A M C K^H E R O I C. 
 
 And over that the Lion's tawny Hide 
 
 Finifh'd the whole for difappointed PRIDE. 
 There ev'ry Pore, as fhe extended laid, 
 Imbib'd Inftruftion from the myftic Bed. 
 
 END OF CANTO II, 
 
 PA-
 
 26 PATRIOTISM, Canto 3 
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 A 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC ; 
 
 CANTO III. 
 
 /~\ H for the warning Voice of Him who law 
 
 What Ruin continental Meafures draw. 
 What Time by perjurable Styx he Iwore 
 To wafte on them nor Man nor Guinea more ; 
 That yet the People, made in Time aware, r 
 
 Might haply 'Icape Seditions dangerous Snare ! 
 
 For now the rolling Hours brought on, too loon \ 
 The Day, whofe Morn as ufual rofe at Noon,, 
 
 i Wherein
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. *j 
 
 Wherein th' Arch-Enemy to Peace began 
 
 To meet in deep Confult her dark Divan : I o 
 
 The Sun conceal'd in Fogs his fallen Ray, 
 
 And dreadful Omens ufher'd in the Day. 
 
 Forth from his Gge-S / Airy upwards iprings 
 The fierce North-Briton on audacious Wbgs ; 
 Th' encumbered Air could fcarce (uftain this Fowl, 15 
 Which dares an Eagle, tho J it * looks an Owl. 
 Undazzled he beholds the tow'ring Height, 
 And to Olympus lifts his defp'rate Flight. 
 
 Next him uprofe, and of as bad Portent, 
 On Wings, ah Pity ! by the Mufes lent, lo 
 
 A Black-bird erft in fbber LivVy dreft, 
 Now Party-colour'd Plumage ftains his Breaft ^ 
 
 D 2 Paflion 
 
 *See HOGARTH.
 
 28 PATRIOTISM, Canto 3. 
 
 Paffion had chang'd his old Appearance meek, 
 And arm'd his Talons, and hook'd down his Beak : 
 His Pinion ftrong, if Dirt deprefs'd it not, 25 
 
 And fweet his Throat would it cry aught but Scot 
 Neglefted (bon we let the Parrot roar, 
 
 
 
 Whofe Dictionary knows but Rogue and Whore, 
 
 Of lower Flight, fcarce hov'ring from the Ground, 
 The Monitor his lefTer Circle wound j 
 The Vultur he, of old whom Jove fevere, 
 (That Jove who would direft this nether Sphere,) 
 Ordain'd thro' Hd\ Sides to bore his Way, 
 And on his growing Vitals weekly prey. 
 
 And thefe behind, with boding, croaking Cry, 
 The Contrqft feem'd to flutter, not to fly. 
 
 While
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 29 
 
 While hopp'd on either Side, pert, noiiy, light, ./*,<< 
 The Magpye Gazetteer, half black, half white. 
 
 ," * Jt. ' ' ' ' '*'#*" ~ ? * J -;A -' 
 
 , ' 
 
 Around, on ev'ry Part, whole Flocks arofe 
 Of Rooks and Ravens, Chronicles and Crows ; 40 
 Fann'd by innumerable Pens, the Sky 
 Of Printer's Ink affum'd the fable Dye. 
 
 Now prone from his Meridian, when the Sun 
 Had iftore than half his Evening Journey run, 
 And FOLLY'S Board, loaded almoft to break, 45 
 
 Had well nigh coold her {avVy Steam ; to fpeak 
 Thrice PRIDE eflay'd; but from her Elbow Chair 
 As oft AMBITION nodded to forbear : 
 She ftopp'd, fb wont t 1 obey. And now each Gueft 
 Perceiv'd that Nature wanted to digeft. 50 
 
 Juft
 
 3 o PATRIOTISM, Canto 3. 
 
 Juft then a hundred Servants croud the Space, 
 
 Who ne'er faw Wages but in Shape of Place, 
 
 And up they pile the vaft Defert in Air; 
 
 (The Plate of Gold by Rule of Court was there) 
 
 Where Robinfon had play'd his Mafter Part, ^r 
 
 And in one Job exhaufted all the Art. 
 
 High in the midft of the whole Fabric rais'd, 
 A Barley-fugar Minifter was plac'd, 
 His Comfit Promifes who round him throws 
 On Drefden-China Courtiers rang'd in Rows. 60 
 
 So juft the Artift did his Skill diiplay, 
 Ev'n in the Gift they feem'd to melt away. 
 
 Qofe at his Side, and wond'ring fhe w^s fweet, 
 Jujlice no longer fteVn, pbffcfi'd her Seat : 
 
 The
 
 A M O C K-H E R O I C. 3 i 
 The Mafter had her Likenefs hit fb pat, r' 65 
 
 You'd fwear fhe was the Sifter of J -e P /. 
 
 Beneath in Sugar, as in Crime, combined, 
 Were HALIFAX and EGREMONT defign'd : 
 The noble Robbers ftood in flagrant Aft, 
 A ftol'n Brafs Candleftick confefs'd the Faft. 70 
 
 And oppofite in Naples Bifcuit role, 
 Whofe Moat in Green and Silver 1 iffue flows* 
 The guilty Tow'r of Julius ; all around 
 In Orange-peel its dreadful Warders frown'd, 
 And feem'd to tread, Sight horrid and unmeet ! 75 
 A Wafer MAGNA-CHARTA ynder Feet* 
 
 There round a Chariot, thro J the parted Throng,, 
 In Bronze the threatening Bruilers mareh'd along $ 
 
 The
 
 3 z PATRIOTISM, Canto 3. 
 
 The decent Mob, fiich Fear within them dwelt, 
 Retire to Diftance, and forbear to pelt. 80 
 
 Here, in the Front, was form'd a fumptuous Feaft, 
 And feem'd both great and amiable the Gueft ; 
 Giv'n to whofe Name the outward Form appeared, 
 But the fly Honours at another leer'd. 84 
 
 Th' immenfe Pile flood compleat ; the whole to fhape, 
 Quite round the ruddy Apple mourn'd in Crape. 
 All prais'd the Hand, and the Defign admir'd, 
 Warm'd as they gaz'd, but when they tafted, fir'd. 
 
 Now Loyalty begins the facred Health, 
 On which Sedition only creeps by Stealth : 90 
 
 The Toafts, ftill as they wander from their Source, 
 Shew more evanid its diluted Force. 
 
 As
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 33 
 
 As when, all-graceful MARLBOROUGH, your Drefs 
 Tell us that Ranelagh you mean to blels, 95 
 
 While down your perfeft Form in Rainbow Rows, 
 The Liiteftring Stripe with gay Confufion flows ; 
 The Point infenfible, (the Difference feen) 
 Where Purple fteals to Yellow, or to Green : 
 We find, deluded thro' the varying Silks, pp 
 
 That what commenced with G concludes with W 
 
 I truft that Heav'n the Tbracian did deftroy* 
 Pervertor firft of Toafting, born to Joy, 
 Who mingled Int'reft with the Flow of Soul, 
 And dafh'd with Party, Friendship's finiling BowL 
 Menace and fell Revenge lurk to be quafPd 1 
 
 In the foul Bottom of the dang'rous Draught* 
 
 At
 
 34 PATRIOTISM, Canto 3. 
 
 At FOLLY'S Board no Mifchief ftalk'd behind, 
 For People out of Place are of one Mind, 
 Jointly they hunt ; but Difference and Debate 
 Come when they fhare the BearVfkin of the State, no 
 
 . And now in general Difcourie they join, 
 So tipfy with the Healths, not with the Wine, 
 That Cuftom, Reafon, Fat, are chang'd and chopped, 
 To all that Modern Patriots adopt. 
 All fpoke, and all advis'd a thoufand Things, i J 5 
 
 To buoy up Citizens and weigh down Kings ; 
 And fbme direft the Matter how to mince, 
 And mean by evil Councilors, the Prince, 
 How turn Militia to a Counter-Guard, 
 And while difbanded Valour they reward, 120 
 
 (Humanity can never be a Crime,) 
 They keep it ready till a proper Time. 
 
 Some
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 35 
 Some mourn the Injuries They groan beneath, 
 Who owe to Courts the very Air they breathe, 
 Who, one finall Boon deny'd, thofe Courts refift, 12^ 
 And but for that, that only, are diftnifs'd : 
 As to paft Favours ftaunch State- Atheifts fay, 
 Duty, the Soul, dies with its Body, Pay. 
 Some tell the ready way on Mobs t' impofe, 
 Whole Sight extends no farther than their Nofe. 130 
 To whom Convi&ion never found its Way, 
 
 They ftill believe the P y of the Day. 
 
 Others advance how Squabbles make us great, 
 
 And cutting Throats adds Sinews to a State, 
 
 What Profits burgeon from domeftic Jars, 135 
 
 And all the Bleffings fhowYd on Civil Wars : 
 
 The Song was partial, yet it took the Ear 
 
 Of all who fought their Thouland Pounds a Year. 
 
 E 2 When
 
 3 6 PATRIOTISM, Canto 3. 
 
 When FOLLY, to give Order to Debate, 
 Stood up a mighty Driveller of State, 14 
 
 Ridiculoufly grand, her Cap and Bells 
 Important Infignificance conceals. 
 A Petticoated Neftor flie appears, 
 Bending beneath un venerable Years. 
 A fhrivelPd Evidence how very finall 1 45 
 
 A Share of Reafbn goes to rule this Ball ; 
 Two Reigns fhe'd blunder'd thro' ftill uppermoft, 
 Quitted the third, nor gave the fourth for loft. 
 With Manna ftill her Tongue run o'er replete, 
 Thick, clammy, mawkifh, purgatively fweet, 150 
 
 And fell her Words like Hail in Summer Day, 
 As hard, as cold, as apt to melt away. 
 The Lingua-Franca Sediment of School, 
 Where She miis'd Science mark'd her ftill more Fool ; 
 Which, with fix Latin Shreds, conn'd o'er with Pain, 155; 
 Wove the loofe Texture of her flimfy Brain..
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 37 
 
 Now her No-meaning to exprefs fhe ftrives, 
 With all that Confidence which Nonfenfe gives. 
 
 " My Voice fhall be for open War, oh Peers ! 
 " It fuits fb well my Temper and my Years. 160 
 
 " Which unimpair'd preierve their wonted Fire, 
 " Demand Employ, and {corn the Word RETIRE j 
 " Nor from my Shoulders think their Burthen great, 
 " Years do not prefs from Number but from Weight. 
 " Oh were I but as young, high in Renown, 165 
 
 " As when one H r apparent to the C n, 
 " I at a royal Chrift'ning dar'd provoke, 
 " Deferv d his Menace, tho' I 'icap'd its Stroke ; 
 " Or when, tho' fbmewhat doubled then with Age, 
 ** The next to him I glory'd to engage ! 170 
 
 ( Witnefs ye Banks of Cam, that overthrow,. 
 
 When thy dull Stream had Doubts which Way to flow, 
 
 " Till 
 
 c.c
 
 3 8 PATRIOTISM, Canto 3. 
 
 " 'Till I triumphant won the laurell'd Day, 
 
 " And the difputed Title bore away ! 
 
 " Forgive the Boafts, Me, fince they ferve to fhew, 175 
 
 " To Infult, nor to Oppofition new. 
 
 " That glorious Monarch, (fo we call Him now, 
 " Whom when alive we treated God knows how, 
 " Whom ev'n the City now reveres, yet then 
 " Would not fb much as hear of Dettingberi) 1 80 
 
 " Saw, when his Scepter trembled in his Hand, 
 " Me foremoft in the Files of Quitters (land. 
 
 c< Nor think I fmgle lift in your Defign, 
 " The Men who laugh at me, for me refign, 
 " Themfelves from what they have in Hand feclude, 1 85 
 " While Hope of more appears like Gratitude; 
 
 " Thefe
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 39 
 
 " Thefe all increafe your Bands with ready Aid, 
 " Forces the Court againft itfelf has paid. 
 
 ' -4 vr / 
 
 " Lead on, I follow, glad to have arraign'd, 
 " Whatever Meafures my whole Life maintain'd : ipo 
 " Convi&ive Contraditions come about, 
 " Seen in the different Lights oin and out. 
 ~ "fbi oili Ik nfifb riom <v&>v\^WsO ^ n?dw JuS " 
 
 <c Did I its general Extent allow? 
 " I fee th 1 Excife in all its Horrors now. 
 " Againft the Craftfman did my Writ prevail, 191; 
 
 " And fend poor Frankly n o'er and o'er to Jail ? 
 " Now, perifh'd Liberty ! I mourn aloud, 
 " Thy Fall by Forms, which then the Law avow'd ! 
 " Made I, of Heads like mine with Numbers more, 
 " Such War and Peace as ne'er were made before ? 200 
 
 The
 
 40 PATRIOTISM, Canto 3. 
 
 " The prefent Peace with Energy I hate, 
 
 And kneel before the Word INADEQUATE. 
 
 cc Or was my Judgment formerly inclin'd, 
 
 < c To think AddrefTes {poke the People's Mind ? 
 
 " Inftru&ed, now I fee their full Import, 205 
 
 " Againft they do, but never for, a Court : 
 
 " And yet it hurts me that It is addrefs'd, 
 
 " But when by Cambridge, more than all the reft" 
 
 Th' overwhelming Thought Hie could no longer bear, 
 But fputtVing ftill to (peak, funk to her Chair. 
 
 END OF CANTO IIL
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 41 
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC 
 
 C A N T O 
 
 TN ftudy'd Dignity of Aftion flow, 
 
 Befpeaking Favour with a winning Bow, 
 AMBITION next arofe. Her pow'rful Lore, 
 Credulity preventive ftepp'd before : 
 For Eloquence ', the Cheat, had brought her up 
 To all the Slight-hand of the Ball and Cup; 
 Taught her to twift, and turn, and fhew, and hide, 
 And make the worfe appear the better Side; 
 
 F Shew'd
 
 4 z PATRIOTISM, Canto 4, 
 
 Shew'd her, to clafh how Contradictions ceas'd, 
 
 While Faft and Reafon took what Shape flie pleas'd. i o 
 
 As the bright Stream, which Nature loves to pour 
 
 
 
 Irriguous thro' the Vale, had nurs'd each Flow'r, 
 Had charm'd the Ear and Eye thro' op'ning Glades, 
 With untaught Murmurs from unforc'd Cafcades ; 
 But when comprefs'd thro' Pipes, as Whim prevails, 15 
 Squirts into Fans, and Suns, and Peacocks Taila: 
 The glitt'ring Baublea who with Wonder Ipies, 
 Receives the Spout at laft in his own Eyes. 
 
 x :p.*iQ/<! f) J b<pf? 3V:3a^7- '5 yjHt-bc ; i3 
 
 And thus llie faid : " O Thou, who doft prefide 
 <c O'er Britain's Ifle, and all her Meafures, guide, ; 20 
 1 Whofe Dodrine Heav'n's own Precept far out-goes, 
 4 Bids us love, better than ourfelves, our Foes ; 
 
 Of
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC 43 
 
 O y anus -Party ! now incline to hear 
 
 " Thy double Face and thy quadruple Ear. 
 
 " And ye, now prefent, to my Nod devote, 25 
 
 " Lords, and Lords Betters, Aldermen ! take note 
 
 " That FOLLY to my Bofbm here I bend, 
 
 " Her, my Contempt till now, but now my Friend : 
 
 11 Link'd in the common Caufe Hie fhall remain 
 
 " My firm Confed'rate, till I rule again, 30 
 
 " y Twere needlefs here to tell, what yet you fee 
 <c Draws its conceal'd, dim, Origin from me 
 " The Rage of Faction, when each Nerve it moves, 
 " He who does not difelaim, be fare approves. 
 " Behold! the Cloud, I faid, would threat the Land, 35 
 " That Cloud fhall rife in Likenefs of this Hand, 
 <( Pour all its Storms, direfted as I pleafe, 
 c< And wafli away the hateful Works of Peace : 
 
 F 2 Works
 
 44 PATRIOTISM, Canto 4 
 
 " Works, which myfelf I dar'd not bring about, 
 
 " I knew them right, but knew they'd throw me out. 
 
 " Another ventur'd, foolifh, or fecure 41 
 
 " In his own Soul, and above Luft of PowV, 
 
 " SeaFd the great Deed to which his Wifh afpir'd, 
 
 " And unrewarded, but by That, retir'd. 
 
 " And could he think, of Peace the Foe profeft 45 
 " Title and Penfion had inclin'd to Reft ? 
 " That on AMBITION'S Eye Repofe would creep, 
 " LulPd by thofe medicated Sops to deep ? 
 
 " She who twin'd Unanimity, and fhew'd 
 " The wond'ring World how firm Britannia flood, 50 
 " Can the reverted Wheel as quick incite, 
 <c Till all the fjplitting Fibres difunite. 
 
 "She
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 45 
 
 " She who fell Party's tortuous Folds could break, 
 
 " And fet her Foot upon that Dragon's Neck, ^4 
 
 " The deadly Teeth, which from thofe Jaws fhe drew, 
 
 < c Can plant, and they can pullulate anew. 
 
 <c Thofe Grains of Difcord giv'n to fertile Land 
 
 " Sprout rank, and faithful to the Sower's Hand. 
 
 " Yes, in ripe Harveft fee them nod again, 
 
 " A threatning Crop of difcontented Men; 6*0 
 
 " Which Way to wave they from my Breath expeft, 
 
 *' Blame as I point, and hate as I direft. 
 
 *< It grieves me FOLLY, nay it gives me Fears, 
 u This foul Defection of your black HufTars, 
 " Whofe wav'ring Duty, truant from its String, 6^5 
 " Transfers itfelf from C- -r to K- g. 
 ** Now by the Laurels of Bellei/le, my Boaft, 
 * And the unnumber'd Millions which they coft> 
 
 2 " Should
 
 4 6 PATRIOTISM, Canto 4. 
 
 c< Shoul'd e'er my B h for addreffing move, 
 
 " And honeft A n dare the Peace approve, 70 
 
 " In fuch Contempt the Rebels I fhould hold, 
 " I'd tofs them back their dirty Box of Gold I 
 
 " But ere th' Infeftion fpreads, hafte we to ufe 
 " The Sp'rit we've been fb happy to infufe ; 
 " The Englijh Oak-boy as you bid him crys, 75 
 
 " And to roar louder firmly fhuts his Eyes : 
 " He's yours at Pleafure clos'd while they remain 
 <c All's over if he opens them again. 
 
 Employ him while, all Enemies o'ercome, 
 He longs for new ones in his Friends at home, 80 
 The proper Catch-words Party fliall provide, 
 To range the Fools on either foolifh Side ; 
 No previous Injury need roule their Force, 
 Match but the Brougbtons,. and they hate of Courfe, 
 
 "Oh
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 47 
 " Oh, if we feize with Skill the coming Hour, 85 
 " And re-inveft us with the Robe of Pow'r, 
 Cc Rule while w r e live ! Let future Days tranfrnute 
 cc To ev'ry Merit all weVe charg'd on BUTE ; 
 " Let late Pofterity receive his Name, 
 cc And fwell its Sails with evVy Breath of Fame ; 
 <c Downward, as far as Time fhall roll his Tide, 9-0 
 " With evVy Pennant flying, let it glide, 
 " And Truth, emerging from the Clouds we raife, 
 " Gild all their Orient Colours with her Blaze. 
 " Let his lov'd Arts, attendant on his Way, ^5 
 
 " Their wanton Trophies to the Gale dilplay ; , 
 <c While each diipaflionate, each honeft Pen 
 " (Deterr'd by Clamour, nor allur'd by Gain, 
 <c Bard or Hiftorian) (hall from either Shore 99 
 
 " Hail its Approach, and its great Courfe explore ; 
 
 <c Faithfbl
 
 48 PATRIOTISM, Canto 4 
 
 " Faithful to Probity, and Virtue's Caufe, 
 
 " Purfiie its Progrefs, and diret th' Applaufe : 
 
 " Glad Gratulation fliall with Shouts approve, 
 
 " And own him worthy of his Sovereign's Love." 
 
 She had proceeded, but the mingled Sound 
 Of arguing Voices fpread the Table round, 
 Some affirm'd pofitive, ibme afk'd perplext, 
 And fbme launch'd out in Notes upon the Text ; 
 Till one more audible than all the reft, 
 With ftrong Exertion thus himfelf exprefs'd : no 
 
 < Why fit we here projecting fbme new Blow> 
 " Since FATE determins all Events below ? 
 " On that Tribunal let our Envoy wait> 
 " And who fb fit as FOLLY upon FATE ? "
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 49 
 
 Th' Advice was grateful to the gen'ral Ear, i J 5 
 All beg'd that great Commiflion fhe would bear, 
 Which, bowing low, fhe (aid fhould be atchiev'd, 
 Tho' trembling at the Honour fhe receiv'd ; 
 The Point thus fettled, from the Board they move, 
 Difpers'd as Pleafure led, or Bus'nefs drove. 120 
 
 But FOLLY fought her Library with Speed, 
 For one fhe had for Show, but not to read, 
 There jumbling in her Head what fhe thought, Thought, 
 How beft to find the tracklefs Road fhe fought, 
 She chofe t' efTay the Force of her own Prate, 125 
 Remembring to how many once 'twas Fate. 
 
 And now the myftic Gibberifh fhe tried, 
 Something that neither promis'd nor deny'd, 
 
 G But
 
 5 o PATRIOTISM, Canto 4. 
 
 But drew one on to hope, Cc it wifli'd Ib well - 
 
 " And though it doubted, yet it could not tell 130 
 
 " O ! my dear Wbafs-your-Name, of me be lure, 
 
 " I would a Member had not afk'd before 
 
 " You'll let me lee you loon, by then I'll try" 
 
 Then feem'd to Iqueeze a Hand, and faid, Good-by. 
 
 Strange Force of Charms ! By this the Iblid Ground 
 Grew mortal lick with the unmeaning Sound, 136 
 
 In ftrong Convulfions rock'd ; at length it cleft, 
 And a wide Opening tow'rds the Center left, 
 To Regions unexplor'd, which, dark and great, 
 Are the Domain of MYSTERY-OF-STATE. 140 
 
 PondVing a while Ihe flood, and wilh'd to know 
 
 
 
 The Ctf/tf/V-Paffage to thefe Realms below^ 
 Till Curiofity her Fears Oxpung'd, 
 And fhe intrepid on her Errand plung'd; 
 
 2
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 51 
 
 Now, as flie journey 5 d, faded on her Sight 14^ 
 The feeble Glimmerings of diftant Light, 
 Faint and more faint the intercepted Ray 
 Withdrew itfelf, and died upon her Way. 
 And now, thro' Darknefs, palpable, abhorr'd, 
 Her groping Hands the doubtful Path explor'd, 1 50 
 'Till nigh the Confines, where the lower Sphere 
 Joins to our World, but yet is ne'er the near, 
 Thin Streaks of budding Day falute her Eye 
 With the firft Dawnings of the nether Sky ; 
 For other Suns they have and Stars than we, i 5 cj 
 
 By which no Mortal but themfelves can fee. 
 
 Now the receding Gloom her Sight renew'd, 
 And cloath'd with Form each brightening Objeft flood. 
 The opening Scene with Wonder flie iurveys, 
 Not knowing that flie travelled her own Ways, 160 
 
 G z Here
 
 52 PATRIOTISM, Canto 4. 
 
 Here for the upper Surface fhe difcern'd, 
 
 How Flatt'ry lay to bubling Lather churn'd, 
 
 Whofe Bottom form'd a thicker Sediment 
 
 Of coarfe and clumfy Clergy Compliment. 
 
 This happy Comport with its fupple Oil 165 
 
 Invigorates and opes the fertile Soil, 
 
 Calls forth each Seed of Dirt to bud and flowV, 
 
 And trick itfelf in all the Hues of Pow'r ; 
 
 While from her Urn Partiality fupplies 
 
 The Stream, to Blood and Merit, fhe denies. 1 70 
 
 Hence blooms th' unlearn'd Divine in all the Glow 
 
 His double-petall'd Mitre can beftow, 
 
 Hence fpreads the Under Clerk his ample fKoot, 
 
 And ftrikes in the Revenue deep his Root, 
 
 Hence high his flourifh'd Head the Valet rears, 1 85 
 
 And hence Attornies blofTom into Peers. 
 
 Still
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 53 
 
 Still lower, in their different Strata fpread, 
 As Levity thought fit to range, were laid 
 Clofe in their Shells involv'd, yet innocent, 
 The unhatch'd Vermin of a Government. i 80 
 
 Here Grubs and Maggots Favour's Sua-fhine wait, 
 To get new Shapes, and wing the World in State, 
 Or more induftrious, dug, and warm as Milk, 
 Spin their {oft Nefts, and wrap themfelves in Silk. 
 Here Snails of Office thro' their (limy Tracks 185 
 Crawl off at laft with Houfes on their Backs* 
 Hence Worms and Earwigs in new Figures fport, 
 And tinge themfelves in ev'ry Dye of Court, 
 'Till pinch'd with Cold, another Form they try, 
 And dip their varying Films in LIBERTY. 190 
 
 Here yet unfang'd, wriggle the Viper Race, 
 Which fond Adminiftration broods in Place, 
 
 Till
 
 54 PATRIOTISM, Canto 4, 
 
 Till fatten'd on herfelf, and fit for Strife, 
 
 They thro' her Bowels gnaw their way to Life. 
 
 Here public Zeal, the Alligator, hides Ip5 
 
 Her felfifh Eggs, and for their Birth provides, 
 
 Of Incubation in no Need they ftand, 
 
 But hatch in Popularity's hot Sand ; 
 
 To prey with open Mouths away they fcour, 
 
 Yet ieem to mourn the Country they devour. 200 
 
 Now lower as fhe went the hoary Deep 
 Diicovers where the Seeds of Metals fleep. 
 She faw, and lik'd to fee, the plodding Head 
 Do the World's Bus'nefs, yet be only Lead ; 
 That Impudence, its Copper Birth forgot, 205 
 
 Grows Brafs, and is important on the Spot ; 
 That Talk and Pertnels ftill fucceed by Din, 
 And Ihine and tinkle in the Shape of Tin ; 
 
 That
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC 55 
 
 That Ignorance and Meannefs rais'd to Pow'r, 
 
 Their low Materials quickly filver o'er ; 210 
 
 That Whig and Tory Principles unfold 
 
 Their like Conftituence, and turn to Gold. 
 
 But Wit, the Quick-filver, efcap'd her View, 
 
 Or feeing what it was fhe little knew, 
 
 Laft law, where Party-Gems their Rays refine, 215 
 
 How Patriotifm inflames the blazing Mine. 
 
 \ 
 She now perceiv'd, from this inftruftive Sight, 
 
 A kind of Reminifcence, all was right. 
 
 The Soul is never taught, but recollects 220 
 
 The Traces of its prior Intellects, 
 Acknowleges the State fhe held before, 
 And owns the beaming Shield at Troy fhe bore* 
 
 END OF CANTO IV,
 
 5 5 .PATRIOTISM, Canto 5. 
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC 
 
 . CANTO v.^^^ 01 ^^^^ 1 
 
 S~\ F perfeft Diamond a fblid Rock, 
 
 Far from theTempeft's Beat and Earthquake'sShock, 
 Its maflive Spurs down to the Center fhoots> 
 Where endlefs Permanency binds the Roots; 
 Upon its Summit awefully elate 5 
 
 Immoveably is fix'd the Throne of FATE : 
 The wond'rous Pile no Mark of Structure (hews. 
 Unhewn, unbuilt, the living Quarry grows. 
 
 UK ' ^ : -fe';t dM'a., U P
 
 A MOCK-HERO 1C. 57 
 
 Up the fteep Height an Iron Caufeway tends, 
 And at the Footftool of the Monarch ends $ i o 
 
 Here FOLLY pafs'd, and as fhe climb'd the Mound, 
 Hollow and loud her fhuffling Steps refbund. 
 
 Rais'd on his Seat the hoary Sire appear'd, 
 And fpread profufe his ample Flow of Beard; 
 No Condelcenfion his firm Looks avow, 1 5 
 
 Inexorable Sternnefs knits his Brow. 
 Around him bawl, but clam'rous to no End, 
 The fond Addrefles wjiich we Mortals fend ; 
 He to their Purport turns a deafen'd Ear, 
 Or anfwers traverfly the wafted Pray'r j 20 
 
 To Spenthrift Sons eternal Fathers gives, 
 And Health untaintable to modern Wives j 
 The Maiden's pious Vows are ftill repaid 
 With Hufbands bad at Board, and worfe abed ; 
 
 H To
 
 58 PATRIOTISM, Canto 5. 
 
 To Britain (every Plume of Glory won) 25 
 
 Sends News-papers, and all the Work's undone : 
 Or, juft as Party thinks to crown her Pains, 
 Gives Refolution, and the Prince ftill reigns* 
 
 Before his Feet was plac'd, Slave of his Sway, 
 NECESSITY whom Men and Gods obey, 30 
 
 Her ftrong Right-hand a pondVous Hammer held, 
 Her left with Adamantine Nails was fill'd, 
 Clofe to her Side, of Steel an Anvil rofe, 
 (The founding Anvil never feels Repofe) 
 With thefe on this, as faft as FATE affents, 35: 
 
 She rivets Aftions down to their Events. 
 Millions of Second- caufer claim in vain 
 Their Seat ufurp'd, and urge their Right to reign ; 
 She holds Poffeflion ftill ; while they purfue, 
 For ever, their reje&ed Suit anew. 40, 
 
 On
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 59 
 
 On ev'ry Side, and fcatter'd ev'ry Way, 
 Her finifh'd Labours in wild Parcels lay 
 Unrang'd by their Importance, equal here 
 The Lofs of Battles, or at Whift appear ; 
 A Statefinan chang'd, or Lodging newly lett, 45 
 
 Empires transferr'd, or Fafhions out of Date. 
 The Joys, the Woes, th' Extin&ion of Man's Race 
 Serve but to make the Litter of the Place. 
 
 Here, trebly clench'd the dire Injunction lay 
 For War t' extend his yet too narrow Sway ; 50 
 
 Hunger or Luft the Conteft firft began, 
 Ambition fbon improved upon the Plan ; 
 Religion next inflam'd the fell Debate, 
 And fteel'd our Hearts, and edg'd our Swords with Hate ; 
 Laft, Commerce for an endlefs Quarrel flood, 55 
 
 And all before feem'd Penury of Blood. 
 
 H 2 There
 
 60 PATRIOTISM, Canto 5. 
 
 There, was ordain'd, Law fhould untie her Noofe, 
 And flip the Dogs of Licence and Abufe; 
 To their own Kennels' Stench familiar grown, 
 But poi^'ning ev'ry Nofe except their own ; 60 
 
 They with full Cry the dubious Scent explore, 
 And trail wherever Scandal touch'd before : 
 Still, oh the Shame ! ftill the loud Yelp proceeds, 
 And the firft Head of all the Foreft bleeds. 
 
 Here, in like Volume, the Decree of FATE 65 
 
 Forbids that Madmen fhould divide the State ; 
 They with abfiird, illib'ral, defp'rate Pufh, 
 To fhame ev'n Party, and make Faftion blulh, 
 Strive, but in vain, to alienate the Hearts 
 Of a whole People great in Arms and Arts ; 70 
 
 To us, by Nature, Reafbn, Int'reft, Blood, 
 Conjoin'd, and union'd by the circling Flood. 
 
 I Thro'
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 61 
 
 Thro' thefe as FOLLY pafs'd with tott'ring Gait, 
 
 From thinking Hurry gave an Air of State, 
 
 And tripping at the laft unlucky Law, 75 
 
 (As Witches ftumble o'er a Crofs of Straw) 
 
 She chanc'd to kick one Bundle, light it roll'd 
 
 Into Exiftence ; in it was foretold 
 
 A Mock-heroic fhould employ the Pains 
 
 Of venal Quills, and Party-heated Brains. 80 
 
 She, on her Knees, with Hands devoutly clos'd, 
 At once her MefTage and herfelf, exposed ; 
 To whom in anlwer FATE : " Thus far to come, 
 " Swell all its Rage, and lafh itfelf to foam, 
 " O'er ev'ry Mound of Decency to ride, 85 
 
 " Has been allow'd to Riot's Moon-drawn Tide; 
 " Here its proud Waves ihall flop, the boift'rous Flood 
 ^ On which ye hull'd defert you in the Mud*. 
 
 "The
 
 62 PATRIOTISM, Canto 5. 
 
 *' The Mifts that veil the Morning of this Reign, 
 " The Breath of Order fhall difperle again, 90 
 
 " Broke they fhall feud before the piercing Ray, 
 " And add new Glories to its Burft of Day. 
 
 " See the glad Profpeft fhine ! a Briton born, 
 " Whom Virtues, more than you could wifh, adorn, 
 " Gives Luftre to the Throne; whofe Deeds confefs95 
 " No Thirft of Pow'r, except the Pow'r to blefsj 
 " Who from the Sceptre no Exemption draws, 
 " And is but the firft Subjeft of the Laws ; 
 " Ev'n Monarch reckons in his moral Plan, 
 " But fecond Title to the HONEST MAN. 
 
 " Him, did the World deferve, Heav'n had defign'd 
 f< The Sov'reign, as the Friend of all Mankind, 
 
 " Plac J d
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 63 
 " Plac'd as it's gentle Delegate he'd flood, 
 " And won them by Example to be good ; 
 " Taught them the fbcial Duties how to blend, 105 
 
 " The Son, the Brother, Hufband, Father, Friend. 
 
 " Rouz'd from their Dream, the Honeft and the Wife 
 " Shall view Confufion with abhorrent Eyes ; 
 " Nay, the mifled fhall fay, while drops the Tear, 
 " How could our Love be feribbled into Fear ? " no 
 " Go, tell your Senders to revere their K g. 
 " And in your private Ear, this only thing 
 " Of which it can be capable, receive; 
 
 " 5foittS of pour 3lffc Daie neier ions to ifte." 
 
 Nor more : And FOLLY backward on her Way 1 15- 
 Sullen and filent turn'd her Steps, tow'rds Day.
 
 64 PATRIOTISM, Canto 5. 
 
 And, oh fair Decency ! to whom we owe 
 That Peace and Order are Things known below, 
 That Man was taught, with better Aim, to pulh 
 Beyond his Acorn Feaft and Bed of Rufh, 120 
 
 The rugged Cavern's Shelter to difbwn, 
 And feek Convenience in the peopled Town, 
 There to diftinguifh, in Subje&ion mild, 
 'Tween reafbnably free and ftaring wild j 
 Do thou forgive, if ftung with honeft Pain, 125 
 
 Too far o'er Satire's far too open Plain 
 I urge the fportive Steed, while I purfue 
 Through his own Paths, the blatant Beaft in view, 
 Do thou forgive, if e'er I, unexaft, 
 Of his own Dirt ibme little Specks contraft ; 130 
 
 Hard were the Tafk to thrid ib foul a Way, 
 And yet no plafliing of the Soil betray. 
 
 But
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC. 6 
 
 But if provok'd to vindicate thy Laws, 
 I-dip my Pen in Truth and Virtue's Caufe, 
 If I, when Scandal fhoots her Load of Shame, 1 3$ 
 Reftore it honeftiy to whence it came ; 
 If my fble Aim is Licence to reftrain* 
 And laugh thy Rebels home to thee again ; 
 If, undefirous of the Wreath of Bays, 
 Nor over ticklifh to the Straw of Praife, 140 
 
 Unafk'd, unpromis'd, if thefe Lines I pour, 
 Conviftion-drawn, but from my Soul abhor 
 The Name of Satirift, who to his Share 
 Needs but an Ear to rhime, and Front to dare, 
 To hide his Iplendid Bile in moral Mafk, 1 45 
 
 And fet himfelf at once about his Talk ; 
 As a rough Water-Dog, New-England's Breed, 
 Frefh plaifter'd from fbme Pond with Mud and Weed, 
 
 I Round
 
 66 PATRIOTISM. Canto 5. 
 
 Round from his Fleece the dirty Puddle (hakes 
 Rejoicing in the Spatter that he makes : 150^ 
 
 If Thefe my Motives, not alone forgive, 
 But bid this JUST RETALIATION, live ; 
 While Libels, when they've flourifh'd for a Ipirt, 
 Fall like their Brother Leaves, and rot to Dirt* 
 
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