> 
 
 ^.' J* '.. ^ 
 
 ^^.m
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 POETICAL WORKS 
 
 O F 
 
 DR. WILLIAM KING. 
 
 IN TWO VOLUMES. 
 WITH THE LIFE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 I fing the various chances of the world, 
 Thro' which men are by Kate or Fortune hurl'd. 
 'Tis by no fchenic or method that I go. 
 But paint in verle my notions as they How} 
 Vith heat the wanton images purfuc. 
 Fond of the old, yet ftill creating new ; 
 Fancy myfelf in fome fccure retreat, 
 Refolvc to be content, and fo be great. 
 
 VOL. I. 
 
 E D I N B U R G : 
 
 I AT THE apOTTolpJCfieJ, BY THE MARTINS.
 
 Printed for Jolm Bell^ritifh Library S trand.Lotidon.Dcc T 2 2 hj8i.
 
 THE 
 
 POETICAL WORKS 
 
 O F 
 
 DR. WILLIAM KING, 
 
 VOL. f. 
 
 •CONTAINING HIS 
 
 ART OF rOOKERV, 
 INliMITATION OF 
 
 Horace's ARTOF 
 
 FOETRY, 
 
 ART OF LOVE, IM 
 
 IMITATION or 
 
 OVId's ART OF 
 LOVE, 
 
 ^c. \5^c. \^c. 
 
 Read licii i^i fofteft founds the fweeteft fatire ; 
 A pen rtipc deep in gall, a heart good nature. 
 An Englifh Ovid, from his birth he feems 
 Infpir'd alike with ftrong poetick dreams: 
 The Roman rants of heroes, gods, and Jove; 
 The Biiton purely pnints The Art of I.ove. 
 
 EDINBURG: 
 
 AT THE ^IpoHO P^efjS, BY THE MARTINS* 
 
 Avuo 1781,
 
 Pi?- 
 
 THE LIFE OP ^ Si^ 
 
 DR. WILLIAM KING.KS^ 6 /^/'^ 
 
 1 ins ingenious and humorous Poet was fonof E^e* 
 kiel King of London, in which city he was born 
 about the year 1663. He was bred with the flrid-eil 
 c?.re from his infancy, and as foon as he became fit 
 for it was put under the care of Dr. Bufby at Well- 
 minfter fchool, where being chofen King's Scholar, 
 his natural good talents received all thofe improve- 
 ments from cultivation that might be expected from 
 fo admirable a mafler. He was afterwards eledted to 
 Chrift-church College in Oxford, and admitted a ilu- 
 dent there on Michaelmas term 168 r, at the age of 
 ' ightcen years. With this fituation he was particu- 
 larly pleafed, and made ufe of tlie advantages it gave 
 him. He had a ftrong propenfity to letters, and of 
 ihofc valuable treafures he daily increafed his flock; 
 but being well defcended, and becoming early polTciT- 
 cd of an eafy fortune ', he indulged his genius and 
 
 * The author of fome Account of his Life obferves that he 
 
 v.. IS allied to the noble families of Clarendon and Rochetter ; 
 
 .Tid fcveral pailajcs of his life msiitioned in the courfe of this 
 
 Tvlcnioir confirms it. The Doctor himfelf having occalion ta 
 
 '"oeak. of fome fine pictures of Paulo Veronefe, in the pofTef- 
 
 >n afterwards of Lord Harcourt, calls hira his Coufin ; and 
 
 ■ long his Hints for making a collection of books, manufcripts, 
 
 r . . v.hich might tend to the honour of the Britilh name, he 
 
 opofes an inciuiry to be made what lives of merchants and 
 
 A iij
 
 ti LIFE OF KING. 
 
 inclination In the choice method of his ftudies, tsn^ 
 ging freely and at large through the pleafant fields of 
 polite literature; and being raviilied with the fweet 
 purfuit he profecuted it with incredible diligence and 
 afliduity. 
 
 It appeared from his loofe papers, termed by him 
 AJverfaria, that before he was eight years Handing 
 in the univerfity he had read over and made Reflec- 
 tions on twenty- two thoufand and odd hundred books 
 andmanufcripts, a few of which we Ihallgivebelowf 
 
 citizens of eminency have been wrote. " It is a pity, continues 
 he, " if none or few are found. Whether there is not a life wrote 
 *' of my grandfather La Motte : he was a merchant of note." 
 With regard to his fortune, we are informed in the Account of 
 his Life, that he enjoyed a pretty paternal eftate in Middlefex 
 and elfewhere ; and our Author himfelf occafionally mentions 
 his eltates in Northampton ajid Leicefterlhii'e. The pafTage is 
 in his Animadverfions on Lord Molefworth's Account of Den- 
 mark, wliich becaufe it will furniih no unfit fpecimen of the 
 talle and manner of that piece, wc ihall prefent our readers 
 with it as follows. In anfwcr to fomc of his Lordlhip's remarks 
 on the poor diet in Denmark he writes- thus : " Their peafant^ 
 " live as plentifully as in other countries; they have good 
 *^' fleih and fait tidi, white meats, roots, l^c. ; but what figni- 
 " lies all this (according to our Author, p. 1 1.) fince neceffa- 
 *' ry frelh filh is wanting? I could heartily condole their con- 
 *' dition if my tenants in Northampton and Leicefterlhirc: 
 *' would not take exception ; for if they found me once fo in- 
 " dulgent to the peafants of another natron, they would cer- 
 »' tainly exped a double barrel of Colchefter oyfters by the 
 *' next carrier; and without a cod's head, fmelts, or turbot, 
 *' I might even go to plough myfelf for Hodge and Sawney." 
 t Dlogtnes iJiertiK.', book i. " Thales being alked how a
 
 LIFE OF KING. VH 
 
 as a fpecimen, in order to let the reader Into the hu- 
 mour and tafte of our Author, 
 
 " man mif;ht mod eafily brook misfortunes? anfwered, " if he 
 " faw his enemies in a worfe condition." It is not agreed con- 
 •' ccrning t)ie Wife Men, or whetlier indeed they were Seven. 
 " Solon ordained that the guardians of orplians Ihould not 
 *' cohabit with tlieir mothers, and that no perfon Ihould be a 
 " guardian to tliofe whofe ellate defcended upon them at the 
 •' orplian's deceafe ; that no fealgraver ihould keep the feal 
 " of a ring that was fold ; that if any man put out the eye of 
 *' him who had but one he Ihould lofe bo^h his own ; tliat 
 " where a man never planted it Ihould be death to take 
 " away ; that it Ihould be death for a man to be taken in 
 " drink. Solon's letters, at the end of his lile in Laertius,give 
 •' us a truer idea of the man than all he has written before, 
 " and are indeed very line. Solon's to Croefus are very gen- 
 " teel ; and Pittacus's, on the other fide, as rude and philofo- 
 " phical : however, botii Ihew Croefus to luve been a very 
 " great man. — Anacharlis has an cpiitle to Croefus to thanic 
 *' him for his invitation; and Periander one to all the Wife 
 " Meato invite them to Corinth to him after their return from 
 *' LyJia. — Epimenides has an epillle to Solon to invite him 
 " to Crete under the tyranny of Pififlratus. Epimenides often 
 " pretended that he rofe from death to life. — Socrates is faid 
 " to have aihiled Euripides in his tragedies. He was a great 
 <• champion of democracy, and extols pleafure as the bell 
 " thing a man could enjoy, as Xenophon witnefTes in his Syra- 
 " pofium. — ^Xenophon was modest to excefs, and t!ie moft 
 *' lovely perfon living. — Bion ufed to fay it was more eafy to 
 " determine differences between enemies than friends; for 
 " that of two friends one would become an enemy, but of 
 •' two enemies one would become a friend. — AriiLippus was 
 " a man of a foft temper, and could comply with all perfons, 
 *' places, and feafons. He could enjoy and fcorn pleafure if 
 " too expenfivc to his way of living. He faid pleafure was no 
 " crime, but it was a crime fur a man to be a fiave to his. 
 '' pleafure. We can have no true cJuirac^er of him from his
 
 Via tlFE OF KING. 
 
 He tool: his firft degree in arts December 8th 
 1685, and thence proceeded regularly to that of Ala- 
 
 " life in Laertius, for it is certain lie was an cxaft courtier, and 
 " tlie reft of the philoibphers, tlic Grecians, were ccncraUy 
 *' averfc to him becaufe he could endure to live in the court 
 •' of Dionyfius, whereas they were all for a democracy, and 
 " could not endure to fee a Greek complaifant to a monarch, 
 ••• behig a vhing, as they thouglit, below tb.e dignity of his 
 " birth. Pioafnre was the thing he fought after; and the He- 
 " gefiaclts, his fcllow-ers, tell us there was nothing eitlier plea- 
 *' fr.nt or unp'eafant by nature; but tlut through fcarcity, 
 " novelty, and fatiety, foine things were delightful, others 
 " dilLifLcful ; that wealth and poverty had no relatitin to plea- 
 " fure, for that the pleafures of the rich and the pieafiires of 
 " the poor wercfWi the fame. They were of opinion that the 
 " tranfgrcllions of men were to be pardoned, for that no man 
 *' committed a voluntary iin but by t!ie impulfe of fomc na- 
 " tural paffion or otb.er ; that a man ought to propofe to han- 
 ♦' fe'.f, .as his chlefell end, to live a life freell from trouble and 
 *' pain, wliich happens to tlicm who arc ivot over eager in tht; 
 'f chafe and purfu it of plcafure. See in the life of Ariltippus 
 *' tiie notion of the Cyreniacks about frienJiliip, and how they 
 " ihow the pleafure that is in it. — Tlieodorus the Atheift de- 
 " nied friendihip, as neither appearing really in fools nov 
 " wife men; for in the firll as foon as the benefit ccafes tJie 
 " friendfnip dies ; and wife men truit fo much to their own 
 " abilities^iat they iland in need of none — Laertius has 
 " made vertes on mof!: of the philofophcrs which are very 
 ♦♦ dull. — The Phrygians profnfe in their tempers. — Menede- 
 " mus, v;hen a liupid fellow talked impertinently to him, 
 " faid, " Kalttliou any lands?" The fellow anfvvercd, " Yes; 
 " feveral farms." " Go, then," faid he, " and look after 
 " tliem. left thou lofe thy wealth, and come to be a poor fool." 
 " Timon, an inveterate enemy to tlieAcademick philofophcrs, 
 " lias written a fatire upon tliem all. — There is a very fine 
 *' ode of Ariftotlc's in Diogenes Laertius concerning virtue and
 
 LIFE OF KING. 1* 
 
 jfter July 6th in the year of the Revolution, and the 
 fame year commenced author. He had the happinefs- 
 of being endued with a religious turn of mind f , 
 
 " friendihip which wants to be tranflated from the Greek. — ' 
 *' Diogenes's fayings are moft of them puns. He faid oppo- 
 ** fition was the ftudy of his whole life. — Hypparcliia, a wo- 
 " man of a good birth and fortune, fell in love with Crates 
 *' the nafty Cynick, and would needs marry him, and live after 
 *' his falhion. Crates made her brother become his auditor by 
 *' letting a f — . Thefe Cynicks were nafty brutes.—The logick 
 *' of the Stoicks feems to me, as far as I can make any thing 
 " of Laertius, to be nothing but words. They held felfpre- 
 " fervation to be the firft of all defires infufed into all crea- 
 •' tures. — Erillus maintained there were things indifferent 
 *' between virtue and vice." — From thefe Obfervations on 
 Laertius the reader will be able to form a judgment of others. 
 We need not take notice that this method of making remarks 
 upon the authors he read is vei-y far from being peculiar to the 
 Doctor ; it is the general vi'ay of every ftudent ; but nothing 
 difcovers the tafte and temper of his genius more than the 
 turn and nature of his Adverfaria : it is thefe that fhew how 
 freely the Doctor ranged in the fields of polite learning, as 
 ^vell as what fort of flowers pleafed Iiis fancy moft. None of 
 the humorous kind fccm to have efcaped his notice, efpecially 
 if dreffcd up in verfe, of which the following may fervc for % 
 Tpecimen : 
 
 Mirth makes thctli not mad, 
 
 Kor fobriety fad, 
 
 For of that they are feldom in danger; 
 
 At Paris, at Rome, 
 
 At the Hague, they 're at home : 
 
 The good fellow is no where a ftranger. 
 f This was fo much his dftpofition, that he would nevcf 
 enter upon any bufinefs of tlie day till he had performed his 
 devotions, and read feveral portions of Scripture out of the 
 Pfalms, the Prophets, and the New Teftament, on which he 
 tvould often make his remarks, taking a freih piece of paper
 
 X LIFE OF KING. 
 
 which being jomed to the warmcfl regard for the ho« 
 nour of his country f, prompted him to refcue the 
 
 every morning in his hands, on which he always begun with 
 l-ov QiUj By Goifs pernvjjion ; and this paper he kept at hand 
 all day, to write down whatever occurred to his mind or 
 pleaied his fancy ; thefe he called Hints, which he could re- 
 fer to at pleafure : accordingly we find leveral of thefe upon 
 thcfubject of religion and the church, as well as virtue and 
 morality. Such, for inltance, are thefe : " The fecond of 
 " Efdras feems to me full of tautologies and childidi inftan- 
 *' CCS uf God's power and explanation of his fecret deligns. 
 " ChryioAome fpeaks exprefsly of Jefus Chriit. — SeeBartolus 
 '• x\gricpla de Advocato. H;iving taugli: the advocate to be 
 *' a good man, he proceeds tomake him a good Chriitian. — ■ 
 " Tliere is fuch an air of piety runs througTi all Hackluit's 
 " difcoveiics that makes it feem as if that alone made tiiein 
 " fuccefsful. What fignified all the Buccaneers' profpcrity 
 " witliout virtue ? to what authority did all their wars and 
 " conquefts bring them but to make one another rich and vi- 
 ** ciousi" 
 
 t In this fpirit, at the head of a very large number of his 
 Adverfaria we fmd " Criticifms and remarks in poetry, ^c. 
 " as might tend to the honour of the Britiih name and litera- 
 •' ture." 'Fo encourage a collection of this kind our Author 
 recommenclb a prodigious number of obfervatior.s on books, 
 manufcripts, and what clfe he had met with to promote the 
 f.iid v/ork. Thefe obfervations fill up above twenty pages in 
 odavo, and are moll of tlitm exceeding curious. The great 
 number of the valuable fmaller poetical pieces referred to and 
 mentioned in them are a confpicuous proof of our Autlior'* 
 judgment as well as diligence. Among other rare pieces he 
 mentions the Polemo Middiano, a Macaronick poem by Drum- 
 mond of Ilawthornden, whicli, as he intimates, was publilhed 
 by Dr. viibfon, late Bilhdp of London. He takes notice alfo of 
 the Bilhop of Litchfield's Technical verfes for Chronology as a 
 ilupendous work, comprehending that learning through many
 
 LIFE OF KING. Xt 
 
 cliaraiSler and name of Wicliffe, our firft reformer, 
 from the calumnies of Monf. Varillas : the thing had 
 been publickly requefted alfo as a proper underta- 
 king for fuch as were at leifure and would take the 
 trouble. Mr. King therefore deeming himfelf to be 
 thus called forth to the charge, readily entered the 
 lifts, and with a proper mixture of wit and learning 
 handfomcly expofed the blunders of that French 
 
 ages fo (hort, that nothing can be a greater inflance numoriam 
 in artempojfcndtrc. In the lame view liavinp; afterwards men- 
 tioned tlie technical verlcs ufually found in tlic little manuals 
 of logick, he (ays it were to be wiflied that the memorial ver- 
 les in all fciences were collected together and printed; and 
 his judgment in this particular has been conlirmed, and the 
 defign here hinted adually put into execution by the learned 
 Dr. Richard Gray, in his Mcmoria Technica, or Art of Me- 
 mory. Our Poet is particularly inquifitive after many pieces 
 of the author of Iludibras. " If that author," fays he," has 
 *' left any Latin behind him it would be the beft in that kind: 
 " his thoughts are fo juft, his imar;es fo lively, fuch a deep in- 
 «' fight into the nature of mankind, and the humour of thofe 
 *' times, that no true hiflory couid be wrote without iludy- 
 •' ing that author. It is pity," continues lie, " that the finert 
 *' of our Englilh poets, efpccially the divine Shakefpeare, had 
 *' not communicated th^ir beauties to the world fo as to be 
 *' underllood in Lutin, whereby foreigners h.ive fallained fo 
 ** great a lofs to this day, when all of them were inexcufable 
 *' hut the molt inimitable Shakelpe.we. I am fo far from be- 
 *' ing envious and defirous to keep tliofe treafures to our- 
 *' felves, that I could wiih all our molt excellent poets tranf- 
 *' lated into Latin that are not fo already." Accordingly this 
 Mnt of the Doctor's was not loft ; among other things we have 
 fince feen not only a Latin tranflation of Prior's Solomon, but 
 even of Milton's Paradife Lott, excellently performed in verfe 
 by Mr, Dobfon, Fellow of New College, Oxford,
 
 XU LIFE OF KING. 
 
 author in a piece entitled Refle6lions upon Mr. Va- 
 rillas his Hiftory of Herefy, book I. tome I. as far as 
 relates to Englilh Alatters, more efpecially thofe of 
 Wiclifre,Londoni688t. 
 
 f Mr. Varilhs had entitled his book Hijloiredcs Rii-olutious 
 (irrifces en F.urope en Matieve de Religion, Paris, 6 volumes 4to, 
 1636, and again in 1687, izmo. It begins with the year 1 374, 
 and ends in 1650. Dr. King made ufe of the Amfterdam edi^ 
 tion, not being able to procure that of Paris. At the head of 
 the lirft voknne Varillas bad put the fi)llowing advertilement: 
 *' 111 compoi'ing this work I have taken my materials indilfe- 
 ♦' rently from Catholick and Proteftant writers, citing thefe 
 *' lalt in their own words, as often as I found them ingenuous 
 *' cnougli not to fupprefs ordifguile the moft important truths; 
 *' and it is through tlieir own fault that I have been obliged 
 *' toliaverecourfe to tlie Catholicks." In like manner Mr. King 
 jirefixed an advertilement, wherein he declares " fhathewas 
 " willing to contribute his Ihare in expofing Mr. Varillas's 
 *' miitakes concerning Wiciiffe, having formerly laid together 
 " fome obfervations conducing to fuch a defign. Mr. Larroque 
 " had, it is true, gone before him in the attempt, but that in- 
 " genious gentleman was not well advifed to meddle in a 
 *' ftrange country, till time had inftruftcd him more fully in 
 *' the conftitutions and language of it. That he (Mr. King) 
 *' has given Mr. Varillas all the law imaginable, liaving made 
 " no advantage of miftakes which with any reafon could be 
 " charged upon the printer, and has contradided nothing 
 *' without exprefs proof on his fide, and in tilings highly im- 
 " probable, wliicli feem to have no foundation in hiftory : un- 
 «' iefs he can confront them with pofitive and authentick te- 
 " ftimonies he lets the author alone, and fuffers the boldnefs 
 *' of the affertion to be its own fecurity." In the Reflections 
 *' he obferves that " the enemies of the Reformation, as they 
 *' feem refolved never to leave off writing controverfies, and 
 *' being confuted by our divines, fo they are not wanting upon 
 *• occafion to turn their ftyle,andf urnilh out matter of triunn)*>
 
 I 
 
 LIFE OF KING. 31111 
 
 About this time having fixed on the Civil Lavv 
 forhisprofefiion, he entered upon tiiat hne in the 
 
 *' to our hiftorians. Saunders and CnuP.in heretofore, and of 
 " late Mr. Maimbourp; and IvIonf.Varillas, liave thought them- 
 •' felves qualified for this employment. Among the reii," con- 
 tinues he, " Mr. Varillas has ufed his pen with fuch a partial 
 *' extravagance, and with fo little regard to modclly and 
 *' truth, that he has not only provoked the learned of the re- 
 *' formed profeifion to chaitife his impudence in their publick 
 *' writings, but has alfo drawn upon him the icorn and indig- 
 *' nation of feveral gentlemen of his own communion, who, 
 *' in a fenfc of honour and common ingenuity, have taken 
 *' fome pains to lay open the fmcoth impollure. Mr. Hofier, 
 " Genealogift to the King of France, in his Epiil'.e declarca 
 •' himfelf to have difcovcrcd in him above four thoufand cr- 
 " rours. Perc Bohours in a difcourf^ of his makes it his bufi - 
 *' nefs to expofe him. Even liis old friend Mr. Uryden fcems 
 *' to have forfaken him, and gone over to his adverfary Bo- 
 " hours, from whofe original he is now tranfl^.ting the life of 
 *' St. Xavicr. To be free, there is almoft as many faults in 
 *' every lingle page of Mr. Varillas as in a printer's table of 
 " Errata : and if the Archbilhop of Paris would do his duty, 
 *' he would tind himfelf boimd to put a lioly ceafure upon 
 •* his penfioner ; and as hs was lately very forward to compel 
 *' thofe of the reformed religion to a recantation of their 
 " faith, fo he ought here to oblige Mr. Varillas to an abjura- 
 " tion of his hiltory." We muit not omit, in julticc however 
 to Varillas, to obferve, that as to the matter of this pcnfion 
 he abfoiutely denied it. It is true Le Long tvlls us that lui 
 was offered fuch by feveral French noblemen as well as fo- 
 reigners, v.-hich he ahvays refufed; and particularly the States 
 of Holland offered him one in iS6g, to engage him to writer 
 their hiftory; but he alfo refufed this by the advice of Mr. 
 Pompone; he accepted tliat only of the clergy of France,whir!< 
 Mr. de Harlai, Archbilhop of Paris, had procured for him. l>uk 
 Volume I. B
 
 XIV LIFE OF KING. 
 
 univerlity, and at the regular time took his Dodor's 
 degree therein, which qualifying him to plead in the 
 courts of the Civil and Ecclefiaftical law, he was ad- 
 mitted an x\dvocate, and refiding at Do<9:ors Com- 
 mons foon grew into confidcrahle repute, and had 
 great praitice as a Civilian. In the interim Lord 
 Molefworth publifliing his Account of Denmark in 
 1692, our Author took up his pen once more in his 
 country'^ caufe,the honour of which was thought to 
 be blemiflied by that Account. Animated with this 
 ipirit he drew up a ceufure of it, which he printed 
 under the title of Animadverfionsupon the pretended 
 Account of Dcnmarkf . Thiswaspubliflied in 1694, 
 
 Varillascontradifts this, and ia his Anfwcr to IJiihop Burnet 
 fays tliat he " never accepted the peuiion which Mr. Harlai 
 *' had obtained for him from the clergy of tmnce in 1670, nor 
 " yet that wiiich he procured of the King for hhn, charged 
 •' upon tlie Abbey of La Vidoire, hi i67i ; and that all that 
 " he received by the Archbilhop's means was a prefent from 
 " the allcmbly of t!ie clergy ia 1670, and a gratuity from the 
 *' King of two thoufand livres in 1 685." However that be, 
 our Author havinj; obferved that thefe Refiedioas on Varil- 
 las's Account of WiclifTe contain ft^me ir.einoirs of that great 
 man, who was as it were the morning ftar of the Reforma- 
 tion, proceeds thus: " It were to be wifncd," faj's he, " that 
 •' from the manyvolumes of his works (till remaining a hi- 
 ^' Itory of Religion of that time were ccmpofcd, which would 
 »' give great light into the aCairs of England." 
 
 f Our Author acquaints us that thefe Animadverfions were 
 vrote at the rcqueit of the Rev. Mr. Brink, Miniller of the 
 J3apiih church in London, a perfon whofe merit, travels, and
 
 LIFE OF KINO. X1> 
 
 and was fo much approved by Prince George, confort 
 to the Princcfs (afterwards Queen) Anne, that the 
 
 knowledge of the world, had defervedly gained him the fa- 
 vour of the then prefent King of Denmark, upon whom he was 
 an attendant at Venice ; that from him, aflifted by his Excel- 
 lency Mr. Scheel, who refided here as Envoy Extraordinary, 
 he had the memoirs whicli com.pofed thofe papers, wliich had 
 the honour not to be unacceptable to his Royal Highnefs 
 Prince George; and when fent to Denmark were by the late 
 king's Older turned into French, and read to him as fait as 
 they could be tranllated ; that he had fecn two editions of 
 them, one in Holland and anotiicr in Germany ; that he Ihould 
 be ungrateful if he did not acknowledge the great honour 
 which the univi^rfity of Copenhagen did him in a letter under 
 tlie fcal of that learned and flouriihing body ; that he took it 
 as one of his greateil happineflestliat by tJie means of liis ac- 
 quaintance with Mr. Brink he had accompanied him to his 
 Grace the Lord Archbifliop of Canterbury and the Lord 
 Bilhop of London, with letters from the Bilhop of Copenha- 
 gen, teftifying the refped he had for their Lordlhips, and his 
 juil regard and veneration for the church of England. " As 
 " to the matters of fad laid down in thefe papers," fays he, 
 *' I am no farther accountable, but believe none of them can 
 *' be contradifted." The book has a great many curious re- 
 marks upon the Danilh conftitution both in church and ftate, 
 one of which we ihall mention as follows: " It is a general 
 " miftake," he obferves, " in England, to call the notion of 
 " the Lutlieran Proteftants concerning the facrament Confuh- 
 '« ttantiation, for no fuch word is ufed amongil them. Their 
 " notion amounts to this, that they believe Itedfallly a real 
 " and true prefence of the body and blood of Chriil in the fa- 
 *' crament in a manner ineffable, which our Saviour himfelJ 
 " is bett able both to know and do ; whereas Confubftantia- 
 •' tion would implv fomething more natural and material.'* 
 
 Eij
 
 XVl LIFE OF KING. 
 
 Doclor was arpcinted Secretary to her Royal High- 
 nefs the fame year. 
 
 In 1697 attacked by Dr. Bentlcy, he took a fliare 
 with his fellow cqlicgians at Chrift-church in the 
 difpute 2f!;ainft that learned Dodlor about the ge- 
 ruincnefsofPhalaris's Greek Epillles. Hiszealforthe 
 honour of his college glows with a fingular warmth 
 in this controverfyf . 
 
 + We have two letters of our Author which flicw how he 
 came to enter into this difpute : they are addrelTed to the 
 Hon. Charles Boyle, Efq. who had applied to him for an ac- 
 count of what palled between Mr. Bennet the bookfeller and 
 Dr. Bentlcy concerning the MS. of Phalaris's Epifdes ; in an- 
 fwer to which he fays, that among other things the Dot^or 
 {declared " that if the MS. was collated it would he worth 
 ♦' nothing for the future; and that his whole difccurfe was 
 *' managed withmuchinfolcnce." This letter is dated Doctors 
 Commons, Odcber i 3th 1697, and was written in Dr. Bent- 
 ley's Dintrtation on the Epifiles of Phalaris and the Fables of 
 yKfop, then jijft puhliihed : in which piece our Author finding 
 himfelt" treated with feme contempt addreifed another letter 
 to Mr. Boyle in the following terms : " Give me L'avc, Sir, to 
 " tell you a fecret, that I have fpent a whole day upon Dr. 
 " Bentlcy'slate volume of fcandal and criticifm, for every one 
 *' mayn't judge it for hisciedit to befo employed. He thinks 
 *' meanly I find of my reading; as meanly I think of his 
 *' fenfe, his modcfty, or his manners : and yet for all that I 
 *' dare fay I have read more than any man in England befides 
 *' him and me ; for I have read his book all over. — If you have 
 *• looked into it. Sir, you have found that a perfon under the 
 ♦' pretence of criticifm may take what freedom he pleafes 
 *' with the rcni'.tation and credit of any gentleman, and that 
 " he need not have any regard to another man's charatler
 
 LIFE OF KING. XVil 
 
 The following year came out his humorous piece 
 entitled A Journey to London in the Year 1698, af- 
 
 ♦' wlio Iws once refolved to expofe his own. It was my mif- 
 *' fortune once in my life to be in tlie fame place with Dr. 
 " Bentky, and a witncfs to a great deal of his rude and fcur- 
 " rilous language, which lie was fo liberal of as to throw out 
 *' at random in a publicklhop, and is fo filiy now as to call it 
 " eavefdrnpping in me, becaufe he was fo noify and I was 
 *' fo near that I could not help hearing him. — You defired 
 " me at fomc years dittance to recollect what paiTed at that 
 " mecting,and I obeyed your commands. Sliall I reckon it ar» 
 " advantage that Dr. Bentley, wlio difputes the other tefti- 
 *' monies, falls in entirely with mine ? I would, if i were not 
 " apprehenfive, on that very account, it might be one ftep 
 *' fartlier from being credited. However, fuch is Iiis fpite to 
 *' me that he confirms the truth of all I told you ; for the only 
 *' particular I could cr.ll to mind he grants with fome flight 
 *' difference in tlic exprefllon ; and as to the general account 
 •' I gave of his rudenefs and infolence he denies it indeed, but 
 *' in fo rude and infolent a manner that there is no occafion 
 ♦' for me to juflifymyfelf on that head. I had declared, it 
 ♦' feems, that he faid " The MS. of Phalaris would be worth 
 " notliing if it were collated." He fets me right, and avers 
 " the expreflion was, that " after the various leclions were 
 " once taken and printed the MS. would be like a fqueezed 
 *' orange, and little worth for the future." The fimilitude of 
 " a fqueezed orange is indeed a confiderable circumftance 
 " which I had forgot, as I doubtlefs did feveral others : but 
 " for all that I remember the general drift and manner of his 
 " difcourfe as well as if all the particular cxpreffions were 
 •' prefent to me ; juft as I knov^ his laft book to be a difinge- 
 " nuous, vain,confufed, unmannerly,performancc, though to 
 *' my happintfs hardly any of his awkw.ird jelts or impertiaent 
 " quotations Hick by me. — I had owned it to be iny opinion 
 *' tlut " a MS. was worth at/thing unlefs it were collated." 
 
 B lij
 
 XVIU LIFE OP KING, 
 
 ter the Ingenious Method of that made by Dr. Mar- 
 tin L [Lifter] the fame year; which he de- 
 
 figned as a vindication of his country, in the view 
 of fnewing Britain as much preferable to France 
 as weahh, plenty, and liberty, are beyond tortoifc^' 
 hearts, champignons, and moroglios; or the raifino^ 
 
 ♦' The Dndor cnnningiy cliflinguifhes upon me, and fays " it 
 " is worth nothinp indeed to the reft of tlie world, but it is 
 *' better for the world if a price were to be fct upon it.'' I beg 
 *' his pardon for my miltake ; I thought we were talking of 
 " books in the way of fcholars, whereas he anfwers me like a 
 •' bookfcUer, ;uid as if he dealt in MS. inileadof reading tliem. 
 •' For my part, I meafure the value of thefe kind of t]\in;^s 
 *• from the advantage the publick may receive from theni, 
 *' and not from the profit they are likely to bring to a private 
 *' owner ; and therefore I have the fame opinion of the Alex- 
 " andrian MS. (which he fays he keeps in his lodgings) nov/ 
 *' as I iliouid have had before the editors of the Lngliih Poly- 
 " glot publilhed the collation of it, though it luay not per- 
 *' haps bc.ir up to the fame price in St. Paul's Churchyard or 
 «' an auclion : but I hope if it be fafcly kept it need never come 
 *' to the experiment. — As to the particular ref.edions he has 
 " call upon me it is no more tlian I expeded; I could neither 
 " hope ncr wilh for better treatment from one that had vifed 
 •' you iil. It is reputable both to men and books to be ill fpoken 
 " of by him, and a favourable prefumption on their fide that 
 ♦' there is fomething in both which may chance to recom- 
 •♦ mend them to the world. It is in the power of every little 
 " creature to throw dirty language, but a man muii, have 
 " feme credit him.felf in the world before tilings lie fays 
 " can IciFen the reputation of another : and if Dr. Eent'cy 
 •' m.uit be thus qualified in order to mifchief nie, I am fafc 
 " from all tlie harm his malice can do me. I ?.m, ^V.'' —
 
 LIFE OF KING. 21X 
 
 tef two millions and two hundred thoufand pounds in 
 a few hours is preferable to any coins of Zenobia, 
 Odenatus, and Vabaluthus. This was a fpecinaen of 
 that particular humour in which he excelled, and the 
 charms of which proved irrefiilible ; whence giving 
 way to that/wjfl negotii fo incident to the poetical race, 
 he pafled his days in the purfuit of the fame ravifliing 
 images, which being aprly moulded came abroad in 
 manufcript in the form of pleafant tales, and other 
 pieces in verfe, at various times as they happened to 
 be finifnedf. 
 
 Thus captivated with thcfe beauties he negleded 
 his bufinefs, and even grew by degrees, as ufual in 
 
 But our Author did not reft the matter here; in the courfe of 
 th'rs fruTious d>fpute he publilhed Dialogues of the Dend rela- 
 ting to theprefeutControverfy concerning the EpiltlesofPha- 
 laris. He tells us " thefe were written in felfdefence; and I 
 " prefume," continues he, "with rnodeity." And nothing 
 fliews he had it at heart more than the various memorandums 
 relating to that lubjed found fcattered up and down in his 
 Adverf<iria. 
 
 t He collected thefe afterwards, and publiihed them, toge- 
 ther with fome other pieces, in his Mifcellanies^ prefixing tliis 
 remark in tlic preface concerning them : " The remaining 
 " poe.ri-; wiiich are here mull leek their fate : they were 
 •' abroad m inanufcr;pt, and I hope will not have harder for- 
 " tune now they are in print than they had in the opinion 
 *' of fome friends before they were fo." That entiiled Little 
 >! vatlis had been univerfaily admired. The reader will tind it, 
 ■ cii Dr. King's whole other poenis, in tliis edition of his Poe- 
 t .r.l \Vo:ks in two volumes.
 
 XS LIFE OF KING. 
 
 fuch tempers, to dread and abhor it. Heedlefs of 
 thofe ufeful fupplies which it brought to his finances, 
 and which were in a few years fo much impaired by 
 this negleft, and by the gay courfe of life he led in 
 the company of fome of the bed wits and principal 
 gentry and nobility of the age, he gladly accepted a 
 feafonable offer made to him in 1707 by the Lord 
 Pembroke, appointed Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, 
 to attend his Lordlhip to that kingdom, where he 
 was made Judge Advocate, fole Commiflioncr of the 
 Prizes, and Keeper of the Records; and the Lord 
 Primate alfo conftituted him his Vicargeneral. 
 
 With thefe honours he was well received and 
 countenanced by perfons of the highefl rank, and 
 might have made his fortune if the change of climate 
 could have wrought a change in his difpofition ; but 
 fo ftir was he from forming any defign to heap up 
 riches, or of treafuring up any of that moijey which 
 was now thrown into his lap, that he returned to 
 England with no other treafure than a few merry 
 poems and humorous eflays; and retiring to his ftu- 
 dent's place at Chriil-church, he employed himfc4f 
 in finifliing his Art of Love, in imitation of Ovid de 
 Arte Amandi, to which he prefixed an excellent ac- 
 count of that poetf. 
 
 + TJiis is fuch an Imitation of Ovid as tlut wlierein tlic 
 imitator anU his author ftand much upon the Wmc terms a^
 
 LIFE OF KING. XXt 
 
 We have obfeived that our Author while in Ire- 
 land neglected the befl: opportunity of incrcafing his 
 fortune, ?,T;d the circumftance which occafioned it we 
 find to be this : he had contracled an intimacy, which 
 loon grew into friendfiiip, with Judge Upton, a man 
 of the fame temper with himfeif, who delighted in 
 retirement and poetical amufernent. The Judge had 
 a country villa called IVIountown near Dublin, where 
 he and Dr. King ufed to retire and fpcnd nioft of 
 their time without any regard to their publick oflices ; 
 and by thefe means negle6ting to pay court to the 
 Lord Lieutenant, they fell under his difplcafure. 
 Thefe two poetical companions indulged no other 
 thoughts but thofe of living and dying in their rural 
 retreat. Upon this occafion Dr. King wrote a pafto- 
 ral poem called rvTuliy of Mountown. MuUy v^as the 
 name of a red cow which gave him milk, and was 
 the fubjedi of his poem. As cur Author was known 
 
 Ben docs with his father in ths comedy ; " What tho'f lie be 
 " my father? I an't bound 'prentice to 'en." The Dodor's 
 virtuous difpofition is no where more remarkably diilinguhhed 
 tlian in this piece, wherein both the fubjed and the pxarnple 
 f(/ naturally and almoil unavoidably lead into fome lefs chaiie 
 images, fome loofer love, which ftands in need cfa remedy. But 
 tliere is no occafion for any remedy to Iw prefcribed for tV.e 
 love here treated of befides the fpeedy obtaining cf what it 
 defires, fmce it is all prudent, honourable, and virtuous. Itii 
 divided jn:o fourteen parts, moll of which end with fome re- 
 markable fable that carries with it fome real moral.
 
 »X11 LIFE OF KING. 
 
 to fide with the party for the church, the crjtlcks 
 among theoppofite party would haveimpofedMully 
 upon the world for a political allegory, the remotefl 
 from the Dodlor's defign of any thing they could 
 have devifed ; and he would hardly think of attempt- 
 ing to undeceive them: on the contrary, we may 
 fuppofe he was not ill pleafed to fee himfelf in fuch 
 good company as that of Mr. Pope, whofe Rape of 
 the Lock was about the fame time allegorized in the 
 fame manner by a critick, who afluming this poftu- 
 latum, that the Lock fignified the Barrier Treaty, 
 made all the reft of the allegory out very clearly and 
 unexceptionably. But to return from this digrefllon. 
 Dr. King had not been long at the college after 
 his return from Ireland when an incident fell out 
 that had power enough to draw him from his beloved 
 amufements. An adion at law had been brought 
 againft the Earl of Anglefey for feveral cruelties ufed 
 to his lady f, wherein fhe was backed by her mother 
 the Countefs of Dorchefter. Upon this occaCon his 
 Lordfliip folicited Dr. King to come to Town and un- 
 dertake his caufe, which was then before the Houfe 
 of Lords. Here the force of friendftiip prevailed o ver 
 
 f She was a natural daughter of James II. and having ob- 
 tained a divorce on this occafion from the Earl of Anglefey, 
 was afterwards married to John Sheffield Duke of Bucking- 
 hamlhire.
 
 LIFE OF KING. XXIU 
 
 all his averfion to the wrangling talk of an advocate : 
 he complied with the requeft, took abundant pains 
 for his old friend, more than ever he was known to 
 do, and made fuch a figure in the Earl's defence as 
 fhewed him to have abilities inhisprofefTion equal to 
 any octafion that might call for them ; fo that he 
 gained the reputation of an able Civilian as well as of 
 a humorous poet. 
 
 The DoAor's warm zeal for the church carried 
 him in 1709 on the fide of Dr. Sachevercll, and he 
 had a hand in fome of the political kites which flew 
 about at that time. In this indeed he did no more 
 than concur with thofe whofe friendfliip he had al- 
 ways cultivated ; and when thefe friends came into 
 favour at court, and were taken foon after into the 
 miniftry, the Do6tor was not wanting in his friendly 
 offices to them, and gave a helping hand towards the 
 fupport of the new meafures they entered into. He 
 printed fevcral papers in this view, and among others 
 one which he called The Britifli Palladium, or Wel- 
 come of Mr. St. John, (then Secretary of State, and 
 afterwards Lord Bolingbroke) from France. 
 
 Shortly after this the Gazetteer's place was oitered 
 to him in a way fo agreeable to his temper that he 
 could not refufe itf. Accordingly he entered upon 
 
 t This was done in the following manner. Dr. Swift, Dr, 
 Freindj an^ Mr, Prior, together with Ibmc of theirs and Bu-.
 
 SxiV LIFE of KING. 
 
 that office January ift 1711 ; but the extraordinary 
 trouble he met v/ith in the difcharge of it proved to 
 be more than he could endure long. Eefices, he be- 
 gan to decline in his health, and this, joined to his 
 natural indifpofition to the fatigue of any kind of 
 bufinefs, furnifned a fufucient pretence for quitting 
 the employ, which he held only till about midfum- 
 mer 17127, when he retired to a gentleman's houfff 
 
 lingbroke's friends, came to pay a vifit to our Author, and 
 brought along with them the key of the Gazetteer's Office, to- 
 gether with anuther key for the ufe of the Paper Office, which 
 at tliat time was made the repofitory for the Pope, t'le Pre- 
 tender, and the Devil, to<';ether with the elTigiesof Dr. Sache- 
 vcrell and feme other high prielts, who werefeized in a grand 
 cavalcade as the mob, called then the Low-church Mob, were 
 marching along in great iriumpli to burn them at Whitehall 
 or Charingcrofs. ""I'he day following this friendly vif-t, being 
 new-year's-day 171 1, the Dodor took poCeffion, and entered 
 upon his office, and in two or three days after dined with the 
 Secretary, and thanked him for liis kind remembrance of him 
 at a time wlien h.e had almoit forgot himfelf. The author of 
 Dr.King's Life tells us, that about half a year after Dr.Sachcve- 
 rell's trip.l Mr.King wa? applied to by Dr. Swift, Dr. Freind, and 
 Ibme others, Jo write The Examiner, and accordingly under- 
 took it, and began that paper about Oftober loth J 7 lo,wliich 
 he continued by the anillance of thofe gentlemen, and many 
 others who afterwards favoured him v.-ith their correfpcnd- 
 cnce ; but the Doctor's dl Itat'e of health obliged him to quit 
 fo fatiguing an employ in about four months, when it fell into 
 other hands. 
 
 f Tliere appear to have been more reafons than one for the 
 Coder's quitting this cmplonnent. The author of his Life, 
 jpublilhcd by Cull, has related an inftancs of. inhumanity ik 
 I
 
 LIFE OF^KING. XXV 
 
 on the Surrey fi Jc of the Thames, where he had pafled 
 a fummer or two before. Here he enjoyed his loved 
 tranquillity v/ith a friend, a bottle, and his books. 
 However he crofTed the water, and made frequent 
 vifits to his relation the Lord Clarendon at Somer- 
 fct-houfe as long as he v/as able ; but as the autumn 
 feafon advanced he drooped gradually, and then 
 neither cared to fee or be feen by any one ; and win- 
 ter drawing on, he fliut himfelf up entirely from his 
 nearefl friends, and would notfo much as fee hisnoble 
 relation, till his Lordfnip, hearing of his weak con- 
 dition, fent his fiHer to fetch him in a chair to a 
 lodging he had provided for him oppofite to Somer- 
 fet-houfe in the Strand, where next day about noon, 
 iieing Chriflmafday 1712, he yielded up his breath 
 with all the patience and refignation of a pliilofopher^ 
 and with the true devotion of a Ghriftian hero. Lord 
 
 Alderman Barber towards Dr. Kintj. This magiftrate -^-asthcti 
 primer of The Gazette, and was To cruel as to oblige the Doc- 
 tor to lit up till three or four o'clock in the morniag, upoo 
 thofe daysTlie Gazette was publiihed, to correcl the errours of 
 the prefe, which was not the bufmefs of our Autlior, but a cor- 
 redcr who is kept for that purpofe in every priuting-o£nce of 
 any confcquence. Thisflaverj' the Dodor was not able to bear, 
 and therefore quitted the office. The Alderman's fe verity was 
 the more unwarrantable, as the Doctor had been very kind in 
 obliging him by writing Examiners and fome other paiiers gra~ 
 tis, wliich were of advantage to him as a printer. Thufe wri- 
 tings at that junfture made him known to the minilh-y, who 
 afterwards employed bim ill theft^ite paper calledTh^ Gazette.
 
 iXVl LIf E OF KING. 
 
 Clarendon took care of his funeral |, and had hinis 
 decently interred in the cloillers of Weftminfier- 
 abbey, where he lies next to his mafter Dr, Knipe, 
 to whom a little before he had dedicated his Hiflori- 
 cal Account of the Heathen Gods. 
 
 In 1732 there come out in odlavo R.cmains of the 
 late learned and ijjgenious Dr. William King, fome 
 time Advocate of Dodors Commons, Vicargeneral 
 to the Archbifnop of Armagh, and Record-keeper of 
 Ireland, containing Mifcellaneous Pieces inVerfe and 
 Profe, ilfc. iffc. In this publication we have the fol- 
 lowing particulars relating to Dr. King's charadter. 
 That in his morals he was religious and virtuous; 
 modeft and chafte to that degree, that he was never 
 known to fpe^k an immodeft word or write a lewd 
 one ; that though he could not endure his hufinefs as 
 Jin Advocate, yet he made an excellent Judge in the 
 Court of Delegates, as often as he was called to that 
 
 •f He had the greateft eftccm pofTible for Lord Clarendon, 
 and coukl not be petTuaued to go to reft the night before his 
 death, or he down, till he had made fuch a will as he thought 
 was ajjreealilctohis Lordlhip's inclinations, whereby he con- 
 ilituted Eliz-abeth King, his fjftcr, his Cole executrix, and refi- 
 duar ) legatee of all his eftate or cilates real or pcrfonal, in pof- 
 feffion or revcrfion. But the writer of his Life intimates he had 
 fpent his paternal eftates, and tliat after his return from Ire- 
 land hij ftudent's place at Chrift-church was all he had left 5 
 this he retained to his death, and the profits thereof, together 
 v.-ith thebufinefs of his profeiTion , and the friendfnip of his ac- 
 tjtiaintarse, which wa^ verv large, and th^t^^f the greateft 
 qualitvj wtrc Ijis chief fubruleuce.
 
 LIFE OF KING. XXVii 
 
 Bench ; that, however, his chiefeft pleafure confifted 
 in trifles, and he was never happier than when he 
 thought he was hid from the world ; yet that he loved 
 company, provided they were fuch as tallied with his 
 humour, (for few people pleafcdhimin converfation) 
 and it was a true fign that he liked them if he could 
 be tolerably agreeable, ac which times his difcourfe 
 was cheerful, and his wit pleafant and entertaining; 
 that he was a great dilTembler of Iiis natural temper, 
 which was morofe and peevifli where he durft Ihew 
 it ; but he was of a timorous difpofition, and the leaft 
 flight or negledl would throw him into a melancholy 
 Hate of defpondency ; that he would fay a great many 
 illnatured things, but never do one ; that he was made 
 up of tendernefs and pity, and tears would fall from 
 him on the fmalleft occafion ; that he was a Civilian 
 Exquifitely well read, a fkiiful Judge, and among the 
 learned an univerfal fcholar, a critick, and an adept, 
 in all fciences and languages expert, and our Enghfli 
 Ovid among the poets; and that as an Author his 
 charader may be fummed up In the following lirtes : 
 
 Read here in fofteft founds the fweetcft fatire ; 
 A pen dipt Jeep in gall, a heart good nature. 
 An Englifli Ovid, from his birth he feems 
 Infpir'd alike with flrong pcetick dreams: 
 7 he Roman rants of heroes, gods, and Jove; 
 The biiton purely paints The Art of Love. 
 
 Thus he is reprefented by the writer of his Life, who 
 
 Cij
 
 XXVIII LIFE OF KTaGj 
 
 profefles a particular love and cfleem for him; and 
 if the piAure bear'-> a jiitl rclemblance of the original, 
 X)r. King mull have been a true humourifl. Indeed 
 he has drawn his own character excellently in the fol- 
 lowing verfes found in his pocket at his death, being 
 juil frefli written with a lead pencil : 
 
 1 Rng the various chances of the world, 
 Thro' which men ate by Fate or Fortune hurl'd. 
 »Tis by no fcheme or method that I jro, 
 But paint ill verfe my notions as they flow ; 
 "With heal the wanton images purfjc. 
 Fond of the old, yet Hill creating new ; 
 Fancy mvfelf in fome fecure retreat, 
 Refolve to be contcntj and fo be great.
 
 THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER, 
 
 It isnow-a-daysthe hard fate offuch as pretend to be 
 authors that they are not permitted to be mailers of 
 their own works; for if fuch papers (however imper- 
 fedl) as may be called a Copy of them, either by a 
 fervant or any other means, come to the hands of a 
 bookfeller, he never confiders whether it be for the 
 perfon'sreputation to come into the world, v/hether it 
 is agreeable to his fentimcnts, whether to his ftylc or 
 correilnefs, or whether he has for fome time looked 
 over it ; nor doth he care what name or characler he 
 puts to it fo he imagines he may get by it. 
 
 It was the fate of the following Poem to be fo ufed, 
 and printed with as much imperfevftion and as many 
 miftakes as a bookfeller that has common fenfe could 
 imagine ftiould pals upon the Town, elpecially in an 
 age fo polite and critical as the prefent. 
 
 Thefe following Letters and Poem were at the prefs 
 fome time before the other paper pretending to the 
 flime title was crept out; and they had elfe, as tin'; 
 learned fay, groaned under the prefs till fuch time as 
 the Iheets had, one by one, been pcrufed and corredl- 
 ed not only by the Author but his friends, whofe 
 judgment as he is fenfible he wants, fo is he proud 
 to own that they fometimes condefcend to afford him. 
 
 For many faults that at firft feem fmall yet create 
 unpardonable errours. The number of the vnfe turn? 
 
 C iij
 
 SCXX THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER. 
 
 upon the harfhnefs of a fy liable, and the laying a flrefs 
 upon improper words will make the mofl correal 
 piece ridiculous. Talfe concord, tenfes, and grammar, 
 nonfenfe, impropriety, and ccnfufion, may go down 
 with feme perfons; but it fhould not be in the power 
 of a bookfeller to lampoon an author, and tell him 
 *' You did write all this; I have get it ; and you fhall 
 *' fland to the fcandal, and 1 will have the benefit ;" 
 3;-et this h the prefent cafe, notwithftanding there are 
 above threefcore faults of this nature ; verfes tranf- 
 pofed, fome added, others altered, or rather that 
 ihould have been altered, and near forty omitted. 
 The Author does not value himfelf upon the whole ; 
 but if he fhews his efteem for Horace, and can by any 
 means provoke perfons to read fo ufeful a treatlfe ; ii 
 he Ihews his averfion to the introduction of luxury, 
 which may tend to the corruption of manners, and 
 declares his love to the old Eritifli hofpitahty, chari- 
 ty, and valour, when the arms of the family, the old 
 pikes, muflcets, and halberts, hung up in the hail over 
 the long tabic, and the marrowbones lay on the floor, 
 and Chevy Chafe andThe OldCourtierof the Queen's 
 Vv'ere placed over the carved mandepiece, and the 
 beef and brown bread were carried every day to the 
 poor, he defires little farther than that the reader 
 would for the future give all fuch bookfcllers as are 
 before fpoken of no manner of encouragement.
 
 LETTERS 
 
 TO DR. LISTER AND OTHERS. 
 
 LETTER I. TO MR. 
 
 DEAR SIR, 
 
 1 HE happincfs of hearing now and then from yoa 
 extremely delights me ; for I mull confefs mofi; of my 
 other friends are fo much taken up with politic];s or 
 fpeculations, that either their hopes or fears give them 
 little leifure to perufe fuch parts of learning as lie re- 
 mote,and are fit onlyfor the clofcts of the curious.How 
 blefl are you at London, where you have new bocks 
 of all forts ! whilfi we at a greater diflance, being de- 
 ftitute of fuch improvements, muft content ourfelves 
 with the old flore, and thumb the Ciafiicks, as if we 
 were never to get higher th^n our Tully or our Virgil. 
 
 You tantalize me only when you tell me of the 
 edition of a book by the ingenious Dr. Liiler, which 
 you fay is a treatife De Ceudmcitis et Opfuitm Vetertm^ 
 *' Of the Sauces and Soups of the Ancients," as I take 
 it. Give me leave to ufe an exprelUon which though 
 vulgar, yet upon this occafion is jufl and proper; ycu 
 have made my mouth water, but have not fent me 
 ■yvherewithal to fatisfy my appetite. 
 
 I have raifed a thoufand notions to myfelf only 
 from the title. Where could fuch a trcafure lie hid ? 
 what manufcripts have been collated \ under what
 
 ^% LETTERS. 
 
 emperour was it written ? mi| 
 the reign of Heliogabalus, who though vicious, and 
 in fome things fantaftical, yet was not incurious in 
 the grand affair of eating ? 
 
 Confider, dear Sir ! in what uncertainties we muft 
 remain at prefent. You know my neighbour Mr. 
 Greatrix is a learned antiquary. I Ihewed him your 
 letter, v,'hich threw him into fuch a dubioufnefs, and 
 indeed perplexity, of mind, that the next day he durft 
 not put any catfup in his filh fauce, nor have his be- 
 loved pepper, oil, and lemon, with his partridge, left 
 before he had feen Dr. Lifter's book he might tranf- 
 grefs in ufmg fomething not common to the Ancients. 
 
 Difpatch it therefore to us with all fpeed, for I 
 expedl wonders from it. Let me tell you I hope in 
 the firft place it will in fome meafure remove the 
 barbarity of our prefent education ; for what hopes 
 can there be of any progrefs in learning whilll our 
 gentlemen fufFer their fons at Weftminfcer, Eaton* 
 ;ind Winchefler, to eat nothing but fait with their 
 mutton, and vinegar with their roafl beef, upon holy- 
 days? What extenfivenefs can there be in their fouls, 
 efpecially when, upon their going thence to the uni- 
 verfity, their knowledge in culinary matters is feldom 
 enlarged, andtheirdietcontinuesvery much the fame, 
 and as to fauces they are in profound ignorance ? 
 
 It were to be wilhed therefore that every family 
 had a French tutor J for befides his being groom, gar-
 
 LETTERS. 2$. 
 
 clener, butler, and valet, you would fee that he is en- 
 dued with greater accomplifnments; for, according 
 to oar ancient author, ^'oi Gal/i, totidem Coqui, " As 
 *' many Frcnchnaen as you have, fo many Cooks you 
 *' may depend upon;" which is very ufeful where 
 there is a numerous iffue. And I doubt not but with 
 fuch tutors, and good houfekeepers to provide cake 
 and fweetraeats, together with the tender care of aa 
 indulgent mother to fee that the children eat and 
 drink every thing that they call for; Idoubtnot, Ifay, 
 but we may have a warlike and frugal gentry, a tem- 
 perate and aaftere clergy, and fuch perfons pf quality 
 in all llaiions as may befl undergo the fatigues of cur 
 fleet and armies. 
 
 Pardon me, vSir, if I break off abruptly, for I. am 
 gf>ing to Monf. D' Avaus, a pcrfon famous for eafing 
 the foothach by avulfioa. He has promifed to (he\v 
 mc he/ to ftrike a lancet into the jugular of a carp, 
 fo as the blood may iiTue thence with the greateft ef- 
 fiifion, and then will inftantly perform the operation 
 of Hewing it in its own blood in the prefence of my- 
 felf and fevcral more virtuofi. But let him ufe what 
 claret he will in the performance, I will fecure enough 
 to drink your health and the reft of your friends. 
 
 I remain, Sir, Isfc.
 
 34 Letters. 
 
 LETTER II. TO MR. 
 
 SIR, 
 
 I SHALL make bold to claim your promife in your 
 lall obliging letter, to obtain the happinefs of m.y cor- 
 refpcndence with Dr. Lifter, and to that end have 
 fent you the enclofed, to be communicated to him if 
 you think convenient. 
 
 LET.IILT0DR.LISTER,PRESENT. 
 
 SIR, 
 
 I AM a plain man, and therefore never ufe compli- 
 ments; but 1 muft tell you that 1 have a great ambi- 
 tion to hold a correfpondence with you, efpecially 
 that I may beg you to communicate your remarks 
 from the Ancients concerning dentifcalps, vulgarly 
 called Toothpicks. I take the ufe of them to have been 
 of great antiquity, and the original to come from the 
 inftind of Nature, which is the beft miftrefs upon all 
 occafions. The Egyptians were a people excellent iot 
 their philofophical and mathematical obfervations; 
 they fearched into all the fprings of adlion : and tho' 
 I muft condemn their fupcrftition I cannot but ap- 
 plaud their invention. This people had a vaft diftri6t 
 that worfliipped the crocodile, which is an animal 
 whofe jaws, being very oblong, give him the oppor-
 
 LETTERS. 55 
 
 tunlty of having a great many teeth; and his habita- 
 tion and bufinefs lying moll: in the water he, like our 
 modern Dutch whitfters * in Southwark, had a very 
 good £lomach,and\vasextremely voracious.lt iscertain 
 that he had the v/ater of Nile always ready, and con- 
 fequently the opportunity of wafhing his mouth after 
 meals; yet he had farther occafion for other inftru- 
 ments to cleanfe his teeth, which are ferrate, or like 
 a faw. To this end Nature has provided an animal, 
 called the Ichneumon, which performs this office, and 
 is fo maintained by the product of its own labour. 
 The Egyptians feeing fuch an ufeful fagacity in the 
 crocodile, which they fo much reverenced, foon be- 
 gan to imitate it, great examples eafily drawing the 
 multitude; fo that it became their conftant cudomto 
 pick their teeth and wafh their mouths after eating. 
 I cannot find InMariham's Dynailies, nor in the Frag- 
 ments of Manethon, what year of the moon (for I 
 hold the Egyptian years to have been lunar, that is, 
 but of a month's continuance) fo venerable an ufage 
 firft began ; for it is the fault of great philologers to 
 omit iuch things as are moll material. Whether Se- 
 follris in his large conquefts might extend the ufe of 
 them is as uncertain; for the glorious aiSlions of thofe 
 ages lie very much in the dark. It is very probable 
 that the publick ufe of them came in about the fame 
 time that the Egyptians made ufe of juries. I find, in 
 * Whofc teatergrounds are now almoft all built upon.
 
 3() LETTERS. 
 
 the Preface to the Third Part of Modern Reports, 
 that " the Chaldces had a great efteem for tiie num* 
 *' berTwelve,becaufe there were fo many f-gnsof the 
 *' zodiack; from them this number came to the E- 
 *' gypf i^-^^^j ^^^ ^o ^o Greece, where Alarshimfclf was 
 *' tried for a murder, and was acquitted." Now it 
 does not appear upon record, nor any flonc that I have 
 feen, whether the jury clubbed, or whether Mars 
 treated them at dinner, though it is mofl likely that he 
 did; for he was a quarrelfome fort of a perfon, and 
 probably though acquitted m.ight be asguilty as Count 
 Koningfmark. Nowthe cuftomof juriesdining at aij 
 eatinghoufe, and having glafTes of water brought 
 them, with toothpicks tinged with vermilion fwini- 
 ming at the top, being fciil continued , why may we nut 
 imagine that the toothpicks were as ancient as the din- 
 ner, the dinner as the juries,and the juries at Icafl as the 
 grandchildren of Mitzraim f Homer makes his he- 
 roes feed fo grof&ly, that they feem to have had m.ore 
 occafion for fkewers than goofequills. He is very te- 
 dious in defcribing a fmith's forge and an anvil ; 
 whereas he might have been mere polite in fetfcing 
 eut the toothpick cafe or painted fhulFbox of Achil- 
 les, if that age had not been fo barbarous as to want 
 them. And here I cannot but confider that Athens 
 ill the time of Pericles, when It flouriflied moll in 
 fumptuous buildings, and Rome in ito height of em- 
 Y'kc from Auguflas down to Adrian, had nothing
 
 LETTERS. 
 
 that equalled tlie Royal or New Exchange, or Pope's- 
 Head- Alley, forcuriofities andtoyfiiops; neither had 
 their Senate any thing to alleviate their debates con- 
 cerning the affairs of the univerfe like raiHing fome- 
 times at Colonel Parfons's. Although the Egyptians 
 often extended their conqucfls into Africaand Ethio- 
 pia, andthough the Cafrehlackshave very line teeth, 
 yet I cannot find that they made ufe of any fuch in- 
 llrument; nor does LudolphuS, though very exa<fl as 
 to the AbyiTmian empire, give any account of a mat- 
 ter fo important ; for which he is to hlame, as I fhall 
 fhew in my treatile of Forks and Napkins, of whicli 
 I Ihall fend you an effay with all expedition. I fhall 
 in that treatife fully illuftrate or confute this paiTagc 
 of Dr. Hcylin, in the third"book of his Cofmography, 
 where he fays of the Chinefe " that they eat their 
 *' meat with two fticks of ivory, ebony, or the like, 
 *' not touching it with their hands at all, and there- 
 * ' fore no great foulcrs of Huen . The ufe of filver forks 
 " with us, by fome of ourfpruce gallants taken up of 
 *' late, came from hence into Italy, and from thence 
 " into England." I cannot agree with this learned 
 Dodtor in many of tiiefc particulars; for, firfl., the 
 ufe of thtfe {licks is not i'o much to fave linen as out 
 of pure neceiiity, which arifes from the length cf 
 their nails, which perfons of great quality in thole 
 countries wear at a prodigious length, to prevent all 
 j-.r-rTihility of working- or being fcrvlceable to th.ni- 
 J\h.r:cL D
 
 i'elves or others; and th'-i.efore if they would thty 
 couid not ealily feed themfclves with thcfe claws: 
 and I have very good authority that in the Er.Jl. and 
 efpeciaily in Japan, the princes have the meat put in- 
 to their mouths by their attendants, Bcfidt-s, thefe 
 ilicks are of no ufe but for their fort of meat, which 
 being pilau is all boiled to rags. But what would 
 thofe fticks figrify to carveaturkeycQckor a chine of 
 beef? therefore ourforksare of quite different {Vi.ipe ; 
 the ftcel ones r.re bidenral, and the filvcr are general- 
 ly !cfeBi))iing trideni ?; which makes mc think them 
 to be as a.ncient as the Saturnian race, where the for- 
 mer is. appropriated to Plwto and the latter to Nep- 
 tune. If is certain that Pedro Delia Valle, that fa- 
 mous Itaiid.n traveller, carried his knife and fork into 
 the Eaft Indies ; and he gives a large acceunt how at 
 the court of an Indian prince he was admired for liis 
 neatnefs in that particular, and his care in wipii^iij 
 that and his knife before he returned them to their rc- 
 jpe^Live repcfue.ries. I coi.ldwifli Dr.Wotton.in the 
 next ec'lti«,n of his Modern Leariung, v/oulclfliew us 
 how niutli wc are improved Unce Dr. Heyiin's time, 
 and tcli us the oriv-inal of ivory knives, with Vihich 
 young Iicirs are fiuTered to mangle their, own pud- 
 ding, aslikewife of fiiver ard gold knives, brou;;ht 
 in with the deflert for cai virg of j.^llies and crarge- 
 bu'ler, and the iuoifpenfable ntcrjfiity of a fiiver 
 kniie at the tdcloard to nargle fctlhtds with, as is
 
 LETTERS. j9 
 
 with great learning made out in a treatifc called Ace- 
 taria, concerning drefling of fallada : a noble work! 
 but I tranfgrefs — 
 
 And yet, pardop me, good Doclor! I had almor- 
 forgot a thing that I would not have done for the 
 world, it is fo remarkable, I think I may be pofitivc 
 from this verfe of Juvenal, where he fpeaks of the 
 Egyptians, 
 
 Porrum et cepe ncfas violare, et fiangere morfa, 
 that it was facrilege to chop a leek or bite an onion : 
 nay, I b'^Heve that it amounts to a demonfcratiua 
 that Pharaoh Necho could have no true lentcn por- 
 ridge, nor any carriers* fauce to his mutton; the true 
 receipt of making which f^uce ( have from an ancient 
 MS. remaining at the Bull-inn in Biihopfgate-flreet, 
 which runstlius: 
 
 " Take feven fpoonfuls of fpring-water, llice two 
 " onions of moderate fize into a large faucer, and put 
 *' in as much fait as you can hold at thrice betwixt 
 " your forefinger and thumb, if large, and lerve it 
 *' up." Probatumejl. 
 
 HOB SON, Carrier to the Un'iverjity of Cambridge. 
 
 The effigies of that worthy perfon remains ft'Il at 
 that inn; and I dare fay not only Hobfon but old 
 Birch, and many others of that mufical and delight- 
 ful profeluon, would rather have been labourers at 
 the Pyraniids with that regale, than to have reigned 
 
 Dij
 
 40 LETTERS. 
 
 it Memphis and have been debarred of it. I break off 
 iubruptly. Believe me an admirer of yoi;r worih, and 
 a follower of your methods towards tlie increafc of 
 learning, and more efpecialiy your, 'd'c. 
 
 LETTER IV. TO MR. 
 
 3IR, 
 
 X AM now very ferioufly employed in a w^ork that I 
 hope may be ufeful to the publick, which is a poem 
 of The Art of Cookery, in Imitation of Horace's Art 
 of Poetry, inftribed to Dr. Lifler, as hoping it may 
 be in time read as a pi tliminary to his works ; but I 
 Ivave Tidt vanity enough to think it will live fo long. 
 I have in the meantime fent you an Imitation of 
 Horace's invitation of Tcrquatus to fupper, which 
 is the fifth epiflk cf his firft book. Perhaps you will 
 Ijnd fo many faults in this that you may fave me the 
 trouble of my other propofal; but, however, take it 
 as it is: 
 
 If Eellvill cah his gen'rous foul confine 
 
 '1 o a Ana',1 room, few dillies, and fome wine, 
 
 1 Ihall expect my lisppinefi at nine. 
 
 Two bottles of ftnootii Palm or Anjou white 
 
 Sliill give r. welcome and prepare deliglit : 
 
 Then for the Bourdeaux you may frcciy afk. 
 
 But the Champaigne is to cacli man his flafk. 
 
 I tell you with what force I keep the field, 
 
 And if you can exceed it fpeak; I 11 yield. 
 
 The fnow-v.hite dam.-.lk enfigns are difplay'd. 
 
 And glitt'ringfalvers on the fideboard laid. 
 
 }
 
 i 
 
 LETTERS. j^l 
 
 Tiius we '11 difj-erfc all bufy thoughts and fares, 
 Tl'e gen'ral's counfcls and the ftatefman's fe.trs : 
 Nor Ihall Sleep reign in that precedent night T 
 
 Whofe joyful hours lead on the glorious light - 
 
 Srxred to Britiih worth in Blenheim's fight. 
 ThebiefTings of good fortune fecm rcfus'd 
 Unlefs fometir.ics with gcn'rous freedom us'd» 
 ' Tis niadnefs not frugality prepares 
 A vaft excefs of wealth for fquand'ring hc'rs. 
 Muft I of neither wine nor mirth partake 
 Left the cenforious world fhould call me rake * 
 Who unacquainted with the gen'rons wine 
 E'er fpokc bold truths cr fram'd a great defign ? 
 That makes us fancy ev'ry face has charms •■, 
 That gives us courage, and tlien finds us arms; 
 Sees care difburthen'd,and each tongue employd 
 The poor grown rich, and ev'ry niih enjoy'd. 
 This I '11 perform, and promife you Ihall fee 
 A cleanlinefs from affedation free : 
 No noifc, no hurry, when the meat 's fet on, 
 Or when thcdiih is chang'd the fervants gore: 
 For all things ready, notliing more to fetch ; 
 Whatc'cr you want is in the malter's reach. 
 Then for the company I '11 fee it chofe ; 
 Their embleniatick fignal is the Rofe. 
 If you of Trccman's raillery approve. 
 Of Cotton's laugh, and Winner's talcs of love, 
 And Bellair's cl-.arming voice may be allow'd. 
 What can you hope for better from acrowil ? 
 Bi.t I Ihall not prefcrjbc. Confult your cafe ; 
 V.'ri'>;e back your men and number as you pleafe ; 
 Try your back-itairs, and let the lobby wait : 
 A .trr.tn-~';m in war is no deceit. 
 
 I am, Sir, vcui'o, ifc. 
 
 Dlij
 
 4» 
 
 LETTER V. TO MR. 
 
 I Here fend you what I promifed, A Dlfcourfe of 
 Cookery, after the method which Horace has taken 
 in his Art of Poetry, which I have all along kept in 
 my view ; for Horace certainly is an author to be imi- 
 tated in the deliveryof precepts for any art or fcience. 
 He is indeed fcvere upon our fort of learning in fome 
 of his Satires; but even there he inftrudls, as in the 
 fourth fatire of the fecond book, ver. 13. 
 
 Longa quibus facies ovis erit, ilia memento, 
 Ut fucci melioris, et ut magis alba rotund is, 
 Ponerc : namque marem cohibent callofa vitellum. 
 
 Chufe eggs oblong ; remember they '11 be found 
 Of fweeter talle and whiter than the round. 
 The firmnefs of that ihell includes the male. 
 
 I am much of his opinion, and could only wiifi that 
 the world was thoroughly informed of two other 
 truths concerning eggs. One is, how incomparably 
 better roafled eggs are than boiled; the other, never 
 to eat any butter with eggs in the fliell. You cannot 
 imagine how much moie you will have of their fla- 
 vour, and how much eafier they will {ru upon your 
 flomach. The worthy perfon who recommended it to 
 me made many profelytes; and I have the vanity to 
 think that I have not been altogether unfuccefeful. 
 
 I have in this Poem ufed a plain, enfy, familiar, ftyle, 
 as mofi fit lor precept : neither have I been too exa(5l
 
 LETTERS. 43 
 
 an imitator of Horace, as he himfelf dlrcvfls. I have 
 not confuked any of his tranflators ; neither Mr. Old- 
 ham, whofe copioufnefsrunsintoparaphrafe, nor Ben 
 Johnfon, v/ho is admirahle for his clofe following of 
 the original, nor yet the Lord Rofcommon, fo excel- 
 lent for the beauty of his language, and his penetra- 
 tion into the very defignandfoulofthatauthor. Icon- 
 fideredthatIwentuponanewundertaking,andthough 
 I do not value myfelf upon it fo much as Lucretius 
 did, yet I dare fay it is more innocent and innoffenfi ve. 
 
 Sometimes when Horace's rules come too thick 
 and fcntentious I have fo far taken liberty as to pafa 
 over feme of them ; for I confuier the nature and tem- 
 per of Cooks, v/ho are not of the moft patient difpo- 
 fition, as their underfervants too often experience. 
 I wifh I might prevail with them to moderate their 
 paflions, which will be the greater conquell feeing 
 a continual heat is added to their native fire. 
 
 Amidll the variety of dire6lions that Horace gives 
 us in his Art of Poetry, which is one of the moft ac- 
 curate pieces that he or any other author has written, 
 there is a fecret connexion in reality, though he doth 
 not exprefs it too plainly, and therefore this Imitation 
 of it has many breaks in it. If fuch as ihall condefcend 
 to read tliis Poem would at the fam.e tinie confult 
 Horace'soriginalLatin,oru)me of the aforementioned 
 tranflators, they would find at leaf! this benefit, that 
 they v/ould recollect thofe excellent inllrudlions which 
 he delivers to us In fuch elegant language.
 
 44 LETTERS. 
 
 I could Willi the ]VIailer and Wardens of the Cooks' 
 Company would order this Poem to be read with due 
 confidsration ; for it is not iightly to be run over, fee- 
 ing it contains many ufefulinllruilions for human life. 
 It is truethatfome of thefe rules may feem more prin- 
 cipally to refpecSl the fleward, clerk of the kitchen, 
 Caterer, or perhaps the butler; but the Cook being 
 the principal perfon, without whom all the reft will 
 be little regarded, they are dire6led to him ; and the 
 work being defigned for the univerfal good, it will 
 accomplifli fome part of its intent if tliofe fort of 
 people will improve by it. 
 
 It may happen in this as in all works of art, that 
 there may be fome terms not obvious to common 
 readers; but they arc not many. The reader may not 
 have a juft idea of a fwoled mutton, which is a Iheep 
 roafled in its wool, to favs the labour of fleaing. Ba- 
 con and filbert-tarts are fomething unufual ; but fince 
 fprout-tarts and Piilachio-tarts are much the fame 
 thing, and to be feen in Dr. Salmon's Family Die-* 
 tionary, thofe perfons who have a defire for them 
 may eafily find the way to make them. As for grout 
 it is an oldDanifn difli : and it is claimed as an honour 
 to the ancient family of Leigh to carry a difli of it up 
 to the coronation. A dwarf-pie was prepared forKing 
 James I. when Jcfrcry his dwarf rofc out of ontarraed 
 with a fword and buckler, and is fo recorded in hi- 
 ilory that there arc few but know it. Though man-
 
 LETTERS. 4^ 
 
 nated filli, bippocraes, and amhigues, are known to 
 all that deal in Cookery, yet terrenes are not fo ufual, 
 being a filver veffel filled with the mod coflly dain- 
 ties, after the manner of an ogHo. A furprife is like- 
 wife a diOi not fo very common, which, promifing little 
 from its firfl appearance, when open abounds with all 
 forts of variety, which I cannot better rcfemble than 
 to the fifth a<5l of one of our modern comedies. Left 
 Monteth, Vinegar, Talieflin, and Bollu, fliould be 
 taken for difhes of rarities, it may be known that 
 Monteth was a gentleman with a fcalloped coat ; that 
 Vinegar keeps the ring atLincoln's-lnn-Fields; Ta- 
 liefTin was one of the mofl: ancient bards aniongft the 
 Britons; and BofTu one of the mofl: certain indrudlers 
 in criticifm that this latter age has produced. 
 
 I hope it will not be taken ill by the wits that I call 
 my Cooks by the title of Ingenious; for I cannot 
 imagine why Cooks may not be as well read as any 
 other perfons : I am fure their apprentices of late 
 years have had very good opportunities of improve- 
 ment; and men of the lirft pretences to literature have 
 been very liberal, and fent in theircontributions very 
 hrgcly. They have been very ferviceableboth to fpit 
 and oven; and for thefc twelve months pafl: whilfl 
 Dr. Wotton with his Modern Learning was defend- 
 ing pie cruft from fcorching, his dear friend Dr. 
 Bentley with his Phalaris has been fmging of ca- 
 pons. Not that this was occalloned by any fuperfiuity
 
 46 LETTERS. 
 
 or tedloufnefs of their writings, or mutual commen- 
 dations; but it was found out by fome worthy patri- 
 ots, to make the labours of the two Do«5i:ors as far as 
 poflible to become ufeful to the publick. 
 
 Indeed Cookery h?.s an influence upon men's adions 
 even in the higheft flations of human life. The great 
 philofopher Pythagoras, in his Golden Verfes, fhews 
 himfelf to be extremely nice in eating when he makes 
 it one of his chief principles of morality to abftain 
 from beans. The nobleil foundations of honour, ju- 
 ftice, and integrity, were found to lie hid in turnips, 
 as appears in that great Didtator Cincinnatus, who 
 went from the plough to the command of the Roman 
 army, and having brought home vi»5tory retired to 
 liis cottage : for when the Samnite ambafladorscame 
 thither to him with a large bribe, and found him 
 drefung turnips for hisrepall, they immediately re- 
 turned with this fentence, " That it was impoflible 
 *' to prevail upon him that could be contented with 
 '' fiich a fupper." In ihort, there are no honorary ap- 
 pellations but what may be made ufc of to Cooks; 
 for 1 find throughout the whole race of Charlemagne 
 that the Great Cook of the palace was one of the 
 prime minifters of flate, and condui^or of armies. So 
 true is tliat maxim of Paulus ^milius, after his glo- 
 rious expedition into Greece, when he was to enter- 
 ^in the Roman people, " that there was equal fkill 
 '' required to bring an army into the field and to fet
 
 LETTERS. 47 
 
 " forth a magnincent entertainment, fince the onewas 
 " as far as polTible to annoyyour enemy, and the other 
 *' to pleafure yourfriend" In fhort, asforall perfons 
 that liave not a due regard for the learned, indu ftrious, 
 moral, upright, and warlike, profeflion of Cookery, 
 may they live aathe ancient inhabitantsofPuerte Ven- 
 tura, one of the Canary Iflands, where they being fo 
 barbarous as to make the nioft contemptible perfonto 
 be their butcher, they had likewife their meat fervcd 
 up raw, becaufe they had no fire to drefs it ; and I take 
 this to be a condition bad enough of all conference ! 
 
 As thisfmall ElTay finds acceptance I lliall be en- 
 couraged to purfue a great dcfign I have in hand of 
 ■puhliihlno; viBiblioi/jeca Culinnria, or The Cook's Com- 
 plete Library, which fhall begin with a tranflation, 
 or at leafl an epitome, of Athen;eus, who treats of all 
 things bclt)nging to a Grecian feaft. He fliall be pu- 
 blifhed with all his comments, ufeful glofles, and in- 
 dexes, of a va.l copioufnefs, with cuts of the bafting- 
 ladles, drippingpans, and drudgingboxes, is'c late- 
 ly dug up at Rome out of an old fubterranean fkul- 
 lery. I dcfign to have all authors in all languages up- 
 on thatfubjecit, therefore pray confult what oriental 
 manufcripts you have. I remember Erperius, In his 
 Notes upon Lockman's Fables, (whom I take to be the 
 fame perfcn with -'Efop) gives us an admirable re- 
 ceipt for making the four niilk, that is, the bonny- 
 clabber, of the Arabians. 1 fliould be glacj to know
 
 48 LETTERS. 
 
 how Mahomet ufed to have his ihoulcler of mutton 
 drelTcd : I have heard he was a great lover of that 
 joint ; and that a maid of an am poifoncd him with 
 one, faying, " If heisa prophcthevyilldifcover it ; if 
 *' heisanimpoftor nomatterv/hat becomes of him." 
 I fliall have occafion for the afiiilance of all my friends 
 in this great work. I fome pods ago defired a friend 
 to enquire what manufcripts Sol Harding, a famous 
 Cook, may have left behind him at Oxford. He fays 
 he finds among his executors feveral admirable bills 
 of fare for Ariftotle fuppers, and entertainments of 
 country {lranger.«, with certain prices, according to 
 their feveral fcafons. He fays fome pages have large 
 black croffea drawn over theni, but for the greater 
 part the books arc fair and legible. 
 
 £ir, I would beg you to fearch Cook's Hall what 
 manufcripts they may have in cheir archieves. See 
 what in Guildhall; what account of cuftard in the 
 Swordbearer's cflicei how many tun he, a common 
 crier, or a common hunt, may eat in their lifetime. 
 But I tranfgrefs the bounds of a letter, and have ftray- 
 ed from my fubjetSl, which ihould have been to beg 
 you to read the following lines when you are inclined 
 to be moH favourable to your friend, for elfc they 
 will never be able to eiidurc your juil cenfure. 1 rely 
 upon your good nature, and I am 
 
 Your mod obliged, Is'f. 
 4
 
 LETTERS. 49 
 
 LETTER VI. TO MR . 
 
 DEAR SIR, 
 
 1 HAVE refleded upon the difcourfe I had with you 
 the other day, and upon feriousconfideration find that 
 the true undcrflanding of the whole Art of Cookery 
 will be ufcful to all perfons that pretend to the belles 
 lettres, and efpecially to poets. 
 
 I do not find it proceeds from any enmity of the 
 Cooks, but it is rather the fault of their mailers, that 
 poets are not fo well acquainted with good eating as 
 otherwife they might be if oftener invited. How- 
 ever, even in Mr. D'Urfcy's prefence this I would be 
 bound to fay, that a good dinner is brother to a good 
 poem; only it is fomething more fubflantial, and be- 
 tween two and three o'clock more agreeable. 
 
 I have known a fupper make the moll diverting 
 part of a comedy. Mr Betterton in The Libertine* 
 has fat very gravely with the leg of a chicken ; but \ 
 have fecn Jacomo very merry, and eat very heartily 
 of peafe and buttered eggs under the table. The Hoft 
 in The Villain f , who carries tables, ilools, furniture, 
 and provifions, all about him, gives great content to 
 the fpedators when from tiie crown of his hat he 
 produces his cold capon : fo Armarillis (or rather Par- 
 
 * A tragedy by Thomas Shadwell, afted 167^. 
 t A tragedy by Thomas Porter, afted 1663. 
 Fdunie I. E
 
 JO LETTERS. 
 
 thenope, as T take it) in The Rehearfal, witli her wine 
 in her fpear and her pie in her helmet, and the Cook 
 that flobbers his beard with fackpoffet in The Man 's 
 The Mafter \, have in my opinion made the moft di- 
 verting part of the adlion. Thefe embellifhments we 
 have received from our imitation of the ancient poets. 
 Horace in his Satires makes Msscenas very merry 
 with the recolle<5lion of the unufual entertainments 
 and difiies given him by Nafidienus, and with his 
 raillery upon garlick in his third epode. The fup- 
 per of Petronius, with all its machines and contrivan- 
 ces, gives us the moft lively defcription of Nero's lu- 
 xury. Juvenal fpends a whole fatire about the price 
 and dreffing of a fingle fifh, with the judgment of 
 the Roman Senate concerning it. Thus whether fe- 
 rious or jocofe good eating is made the fubjed and 
 ingredient of poetical entertainments. 
 
 1 think all poets agree that epifodes are to be inter- 
 woven in their poems with the greateft nicety of art; 
 and fo it is the fame thing at a good table : and yet I 
 have feen a very good epifode (give me leave to call 
 it fo) made by fending out the leg of a goofe or the 
 gizzard of a turkey to be broiled ; though 1 know that 
 criticks with a good flomach have been offended that 
 the unity of a(5tion fliould be fo far broken. And yet 
 as in our plays fo at our common tables many epi- 
 fodes are allowed, as flicing of cucumbers, dreffing of 
 i A coaiet'-y by Sir William Davenant, aded l66p.
 
 LETTERS. JI 
 
 fallads, feafoning the infide of a firloin of beef, break- 
 ing lobflers' claws, flewing wild ducks, t 'fting of 
 checfe, legs of larks, and feveral others. 
 
 A poet who by proper exprefTions and pleafing 
 images is to lead us into the knowledge of necelTary 
 truth may delude his audience extremely, and indeed 
 barbarnufly, unlefs he has fome knowledge of this 
 Art of Cookery, and the progrefs of it. Would it 
 not found ridiculous to hear Alexander The Great 
 command his cannon to be mounted, and to throw 
 redhot bullets out of his mortarpieces ? or to have 
 Statira talk of tapeflry hangings, which all the learn- 
 ed know were many years after her death firft hung 
 up in the hall of King Attalus i* Should Sir John Fal- 
 flaiF complain of having dirtied his filk flockings, or 
 Anne of Boleyn call for her coach, would an audience 
 endure it, when all the world knows that Queen Eli- 
 zabeth was the firft that had her coach or wore filk 
 ftockings? Neither can a poet put hops in an Englifh- 
 man's drink before herefy came in; nor can he ferve 
 him with a dilh of carp before that time : he might 
 as well give King James I. a difh of afparagus upon 
 his firft coming to London, which were not brought 
 into England till many years after ; or make Owen 
 Tudor prefent Queen Catharine with a fugarlcaf ; 
 whereas he might as eafily have given her a diamond 
 as large, feeing the iceing of cakes at Wood ftreet 
 corner, and the refining of fugar, was but an inven* 
 
 Ei]
 
 5^ LETTERS, 
 
 tlon of two hundred years ftanding; and l)efore that 
 time cv^^^jncellors fvvtetened and garnifhed all with 
 honey, of which there are fome remains in Windfor 
 bowlsj baron bracks, and large fimnels, fcnt for pre- 
 fents from l^itchfieid. 
 
 But now, on the contrary, It would H^icw his read- 
 ing if the poet put a hen turkey upon a table in a 
 tragedy, and therefore I would advife it in Hamlet 
 inllead of their painted trifles; and 1 believe it would 
 give more fati.sfa<Sion to the a^rors. For Diodorus 
 Siculus reports how the filters of Meleager or Dio- 
 niedes, mourning for their brother, were turned into 
 hen turkeys; from whence proceed? their flatelinefs 
 of gate, rcfervednefs in converfation, and melancholy 
 in the tone of their voice and all their adions. But 
 this would be the moft improper meat in the world 
 for a comedy ; for melancholy and diftrefs require a 
 different fort of diet as well as language : and I have 
 heard of a fair lady that was pleafed to fay, " that if 
 " fhe were upon a (Irange road, and driven to great 
 •* neceffity, Ihe believed fhe might for once be able to 
 *' flip upon a fackpoffct and a fat capon." 
 
 I am fure poets as well as Cooks are for having all 
 words nicely chofen and pmperly adapted ; and there- 
 fore I believe they would fiiew the fame regret that 
 I do to hear pcrfons of fome rank and quality fay, 
 *' Pray cut up that goofe; help me to fome of that 
 " chicken, hen, or capon, or half that plover:" not
 
 LETTERS. 53 
 
 conriderlng how indifcrcetly they talk before men of 
 art, whofe proper terms are, " Break thatgoofe;"-^ 
 •* fruft that chicken;" — **fpoil that hen;" — "fauce 
 " that capon;" — " mince that plover." — If they 
 are fo much out in Common things, how much more 
 will they be with bitterns, herns, cranes, and pea- 
 cocks? But it is vain for us to complain of the faults 
 and errours of the world unlefs v/e lend our helping 
 hand to retrieve them. 
 
 To c(<nclude, our greateft author of dramatick 
 poetry, Mr Dryden, has made ufe of the myfleries of 
 this art in the prologues to two of his plays, one a 
 tragedy, the other a comedy, in which he has fliewn 
 his greateft art, and proved moil fuccef&ful. I had 
 not feen the play for fome years before I hit upon 
 almofl the fame words that he has in the following 
 prologue to All for Love : 
 
 " Fops may have leave to level all they can, 
 '* As Pigmies would be glad to top a man. 
 " Half-wits are fleas, fo little and fo light, 
 •' We fcarce could know they live but that they bite. 
 " But as tlie rich, when tir'd with daily fe ills, 
 " For change become their next poor tenant's guefls, 
 " Drink hearty draughts of ale from plain hrown bowls, 
 " And fnatch the iiomely ra:her from the coals; 
 •' So you, retiring from much better cheer, 
 •' For once may venture to do penance here r 
 " And fmce tliat plenteous autumn now is pift, 
 " Whofe grapes and peaches have indulg'd your taftc, 
 *' Take in good part from our poor poet's board 
 " Such ihrivell'd fruit as win;:r can afford." 
 ILiij
 
 54 LETTERS. 
 
 How fops and fleas fliould come together I cannot 
 eafily account for ; but I doubt not but his ale, rallicr, 
 grapes, peaches, and fhri veiled apples, might pit , box, 
 and gallery it well enough. His prologue to Sir Mar- 
 tin Marall is fuch an exquifite poem, taken from the 
 fame art, that I could wifh it tranflated into Latin 
 to be prefixed to Dr. Lifter's work. The vv hole is as 
 follows : 
 
 PROLOGUE. 
 •' Fools which each man meets in his diih each day 
 " Are yst the great regalia of a playj 
 " In wl'.ich to poets you but juft appear, 
 " To prize that higlielt which coft them fo dear. 
 " Fops in tlie Town more eafily will pafs ; 
 " One itory makes a iUtutable afg : 
 *' But fuch in plays mull be much thicker fown 
 *' Like yolks of cgpis, a dozen beat to one. 
 " Obferving poets all their walks invade, 
 " As men watch woodcocks gliding thro' a gl.ide, 
 " And when t!\cy have enough for comedy 
 " They ftow their feveral bodies in a pie : 
 *' The poet 's but the Cook to faihion it; 
 " For, Gallants ! you yourfelves have found the wit. 
 " To bid you welcome would your bounty wrong : 
 *' None welcome thofe who bring their cheer f along." 
 
 The image (which is the great perfedlion of a poet) 
 is fo extremely lively and well painted, that methinks 
 I fee the whole audience with a difli of buttered eggs 
 in one hand and a woodcock pie in the other. I 
 hope T may be excufed after fo great an example, 
 for %ieclare I have no defign but to encourage learn- 
 t Some criticks read it cbair. King.
 
 LF.TTEI^5. S5 
 
 ing, and ^m very far from any dcf-gns againfi; it: 
 and therefore I hope the worthy gentleman v/ho faid 
 that the Journey to London ought to he burnt by the 
 common hangman, as a book that if received would 
 difcourage ingenuity, would be plcafed not to make 
 his bonefire at the iipntr end of l.udgate ftreet, for 
 fear of endangering the bookfellers' fhops and the ca- 
 thedral, 
 
 I have abundance more to fay upon thefe fubjcdts; 
 but I am afraid my urfl: courfe is fo tedious that you 
 v/ill excufe me both the fecond courfe and the defiert, 
 and call for pipes and a candle. But confider the pa- 
 pers come from an old friend, and fpare them out of 
 companion to, Sir, Is'c. 
 
 LETTER VII. TO MR. 
 
 i Am no great lover of writing more ♦ihau I am for- 
 ced to, and therefore have not troubled you with my 
 letters to congratulate your good fortunejn London, 
 or to bemcTn our nnhappinefs in the lofs of you here. 
 'Ihe occafion of this is to defire your afiiflance in a 
 matter that I am f dien into by tiie advice of feme 
 friends; but unlefs they help me it will be impoflible 
 for me to get oi:t of it. I have had the misfortune to 
 — write ; but what is worfe, 1 have never comidered 
 whether any one would read. Nay, I have ceen i'o
 
 j6 1ETTEB5. 
 
 very bad as to defign to print ; But then a wicked 
 thought came acrofs me with *' Who will buy ?" for 
 if I tell you the title you will be of my mind, that 
 the very name will deftroy it ; " The Art of Cookery, 
 " in Imitation of Horace's Art of Poetry ; with fome 
 ** familiar I>etters to Dr. Lifter and others, occafioned 
 *' principally by the Title of a Book publifhed by the 
 *' Doctor concerning the Soups and Sauces of the 
 *' Ancients." To this a beau will cry *' Phough ! 
 " what have I to do with kitchenftufFr" To which I 
 anfwcr, " Buy it, and give it to your fervants :" for 
 I hope to live to fee the day when every miftrefs of a 
 family, and every fteward, ihall call up their children 
 and fervants with " Come, Mifs Betty, how much 
 " have you got of your Art of Cookery ? Where did 
 
 •' you leave off, Mifs Ifabelf" *' Mifs Kitty, are 
 
 *' you no farther than King Henry and the Miller ?" 
 ** — Yes, Madarn, I am come to 
 
 •His name ihall be enroli'd 
 
 In Ellcourt's book, wliofe gridiron 's fram'd of gold. 
 *' Pray, mother, is that our MafterEftcourt?" *'WelI, 
 " child, if you mind this you Ihall not be put to your 
 *' AflemblyCatechifm next Saturday." What a glori- 
 ous fight it will be, and ho w becoming a great family, 
 to fee the butler outlearning the fteward, and the 
 painful fcuUerymaid exerting her memory far be- 
 yond the mumping houfekeeper ! I am told that if a 
 book is any thing ufeful the printers h:iv£ a way of
 
 LETTERS. J7 
 
 pirating on one another, and printing other pcrfons' 
 copies, which is very barbarous; and then fhall I be 
 forced to come out with " The true Art of Cookery 
 " is only to be had at Mr. Pindar's, a Pattenmaker's 
 •' under St. Dunftan's-church, with the Author's Seal 
 " at the Titlepage, being Three Saucepans in a Bend 
 *' Proper, on a Cook's Apron, Argent. Beware of 
 " Counterfeits." And be forced to put out advcrtife- 
 ments with "Straps for razors, and the bed fpe<Slacks, 
 " are to be had only at the Archimedes, Isfc." 
 
 I defign propofals,whichImuftgetdchvercd tothe 
 Cooks' Company, for the making an order that every 
 apprentice fliall have The Art of Cookery when he is 
 bound, which he Taall fay by heart before he is made 
 free ; and then he fliall have Dr. Lifter's book of 
 Soups and Sauces delivered to him for his future 
 pradice. But you know better what I am co do than 
 I. For the kindnefs you may fliew me I fhall ahvays 
 endeavour to make what returns lie in my power. I 
 am your's, Is'c. 
 
 LETTER VIII. TO MR. 
 
 1 Cannot but recommend to your perufal a late 
 exquifite comedy called The Lawyer's Fortune, or 
 Love in a Hollow Tree, which piece has its peculiar 
 enibellifhmcnt?, and is a poem carefully framed ac-
 
 53 LETTERS. 
 
 cording to the nicefl rules cf The Art of Cookery; 
 for the play opens with a fcene of good houfewifery, 
 where Favourite the houlekeeper makes this com- 
 plaint to Lady Bonona : 
 
 *' Fav. The laft mutton killed was lean, Madam, 
 " Should not fome fat Iheep be bought in ? 
 
 *' BoN. What fay you, Letacre, to it ? 
 
 " Let. This is the word time oftheyearforfheep: 
 •' the frefh grafs makes them full away, and they 
 •' begin to tafte of the wool : they mufl be fpared a 
 ** while, and Favourite mufl caft to fpend fome falt- 
 " meat and fifli. I hope we fliall have fome fat calves 
 *♦ Ihortly." 
 
 What can be more agrcea])le than this to The Art 
 of Cookery, where our Autlior fays, 
 
 But tho' my edge be not too nicely fet. 
 
 Yet I anotlier'8 appetite may whet ; 
 
 May teach him when to buy ; when feafon pad 
 
 What 's (tale, what 's choice, what 's plentiful 
 
 And lead him thro' the various maze of tafte 
 
 )aft "1 
 
 I, what 's Y 
 . [wafte, J 
 
 In the fecond a(5l Valentine, Mrs. Bonona's fon, 
 the confummate character of the play, having in the 
 fird adl loft his hawk, and confequently his way, be- 
 nighted and loft, and feeing a light in adiftant houfe, 
 comes to the thrifty widow Furiofa's, (which is ex- 
 aifbly according to the rule, " A Prince who in a fo- 
 *' reft rides aflxay !") where he finds the old gentle-.
 
 LETTERS. 59 
 
 woman carding, the fair Florida her daughter vvork- 
 ing on a parchment, Avhilft the maid is fpinning. Peg 
 reaches a chair; fack is called for; and in the mean- 
 time the good old gentlewoman complains fo of 
 rogues that fhe can fcarce keep a goofe or turkey in 
 fafety for them. Then Florida enters with a httle 
 white bottle about a pint, and an oldfafhioned glafs, 
 lills, and gives her mother; fhe drinks to Valentine, 
 he to Florida, (he to him again, he to Furiofa, who 
 fcts it down on the table. After a I'mall time the old 
 lady cries, " Well, it is my bedtime; but my daugh- 
 *' ter will fliew you the way to your's, for I know you 
 *' would willingly be in it." This wasextrcmcly kind! 
 Now upon herreciremcnt, (fee the great judgment of 
 the poet!) fhe being an old gentlewoman that went 
 to bed, he fuits the following regale according to the 
 age of the perfon. Had boys been put to bed it had 
 been proper to have " laid tlie goofe to the fire;" but 
 here it is otherwife; for after fome intermediate dif- 
 courfe he is invited to a repaft, when he modeilly 
 excufes himfelf v/ith " Truly, Madam, I have no 
 " flomach to any meat but to com.ply with you. You 
 *' have, Madam, entertained me Vvith all that is de- 
 *' firable already." The lady tells him " Cold fup- 
 *' per is better than none ;" fo he fits at the table, of- 
 fers to eat, but cannot. I am furc Horace could not 
 have prepared himfelf more ex-ailly; for (according 
 to the rule, " A v»'idovv has cold pit") though Va-
 
 6o LETTERS. 
 
 ientlnc being lovcHck could not cat, yet it was hii 
 fault and not the poet's. But \Yhen Valentine is to 
 return the civility, and to invite Madam Furiofaand 
 Madam Florida, with other good company, to his 
 mother, the hofpi table l^ady Bonona's, (who by the 
 by had called for two bottles of wine for Latitat her 
 attorney) then afiluence and dainties are to appear, 
 (according to this verfe " Mangoes, potargo, cham- 
 *' pignons, caveare,") and Mrs. Favourite tiie houfe- 
 keeper makes thefe moft important enquires. 
 
 " FAV. Millrefs, fhall I put any muftirooms, raan- 
 ** goes, or baniboons, into the faliad ? 
 
 •' BON. Yes, I pr') thee, the bell thou haft. 
 
 " FAV. Shall I ufecatfup oranchoviesin the gravy? 
 
 *' BON. What you will." 
 
 But however magnificent the dinner might be, yet 
 Mrs. Bonona,asthemanncroffomeperfonsis, makes 
 her excufe for it with " Well, Gentlemen, can ye 
 *' fpare a little time to take afliort dinner .'' Ipromife 
 *' youitfiialluot belong." It is very probable, though 
 the author does not make any of the gucfts give a re- 
 lation of it, that Valentine, being a great fportfman, 
 might furnifli the table with game and wildfowl. 
 There was at Icaft one phcafant in the houfe which 
 Valentine told his mother of the morning before : 
 ** Madam, I had a good flight of a pheafant cock, 
 ** that afLcr mv hawk fcized made Ixead as if he
 
 LETTERS. Cl 
 
 ''would have fought; but my hawk plumed him 
 '* prefently." Now it is not reafonable to fuppofc 
 that Vally lying abroad that niojht, the old gentle- 
 woman under that concern would have any ftomach 
 to it for her own fupper. However, to fee the fate 
 of things! there is nothing permanent: for one Mrs. 
 Candia making (though innocently) a prefent of an 
 hawk to Valentine, Florida his miftrefs grows jealous, 
 and refolves to leave him, and run away with an odd 
 fort of fellow, one Major Sly. Valentine to appeafe 
 her fends a meiTage to her by a boy, who tells her 
 *' His mailer, to fhew the trouble he took by her mif- 
 *' apprehenfion, had fcnt her fome vifiblc tokens, the 
 *' hawk torn to pieces with his own hands;" and then 
 pulls out of the balket the wings and legs of a fowl : 
 fo we fee the poor bird demoliihed, and all hopes of 
 wildfowl deftroyed for the future : and happy were 
 it ifmisfortunes would flop here ! Butthe cruel beauty 
 refufing to be appealed, Valentine takes a fudden 
 refolution, which lie communicates to I^etacre the 
 fteward, to brulh offand quit his habitation. However 
 it was, whether I.etacre did not think his young ma- 
 fler real, and Valentine having threatened the houle- 
 keeper to kick her immediately before for being too 
 fond of him, and hisboy being raw and unexperienced 
 In travelling, it feems they made but fiender provifi- 
 on for their expedition ; for there is but one fcene in- 
 terpofed before we find dlftieiTeJ Valentine in the 
 F'J,msL F
 
 6Z LETTERS. 
 
 moft miferable condition that the joint arts of Poetry 
 and Cookery are able to reprefent him. There is a 
 fcene of the grcateft horrour, and moft moving to 
 compaffion, of anything that I have feenamongft the 
 Moderns : " Talks of no pyramids of fowl or biiks 
 " of lifli" is nothing to it : for here we fee an inno- 
 cent perfon, unlcfs punifhed for his mother's and 
 houfckeeper's extravagance, as was faid before, in 
 their niufhrooras, mangoes, bamboons, catfup, and 
 anchovies, reduced to the extremity of eating his 
 chccfe without bread, and having no other drink but 
 ■water. For he and his boy, with two faddles on his 
 back and wallet, came into a walk of confufcd trees, 
 where an owl hollows, a bear and leopard walk acrofs 
 the defcrt at a diftance, and yet they venture in; 
 where Valentine accofts his boy with thefe lines, 
 which would draw tears from any thing that is not 
 marble : 
 
 Cbe. [• 
 re weary'tl J 
 
 Hang up thy wallet on that tree. 
 
 And creep thou in thi.« hollow place wirli me : 
 
 Let 's here repofe our wcary'd limbstill they mort 
 
 BOY. There is nothing left in the wallet but one piece 
 cf cheefe. What Ihr.!! we do for bread ? 
 
 VAL. When we liave llept we will feek out 
 Son^c roots that Ihall fupply that doubt. 
 
 BOY. But no drink, Maftcr ? 
 
 VAL. Under that rock a fpring I fee 
 Which Ihall refrelh my thirft and thee. 
 
 So the aifl clofes; and it is difmal for the audience 
 to confidcr how Valentine and the poor boy, who it
 
 LETTERS. 63 
 
 fcems had a coming flomach, fhould continue there 
 all the time the mufitk was playing and longer. But 
 to eafe them of their pain, by an invention which the 
 poets call Catailrophe, Valentine, though with a long' 
 beard, and very weak witli faiang, is reconciled to 
 Florida, who embracing him fays, *' I doubt I have 
 "offended him too much ; but I will attend him 
 ** home,cheri{h him with cordials, make him broths," 
 (poor good-natured creature ! I wifh fhe had Dr. 
 Lifter's book to help her!) " anoint his limbs, and 
 " be a nurfe, a tender nurfe ! to him." Nor do blelT- 
 ings come alone ; for the good mother having re- 
 frelhed him with warm baths, and icept him tenderly 
 in the houfe, orders Favourite, with repeated injunc- 
 tions, "to get the heft entertainment {he ever yet pro- 
 *' vided, to confider what ilie has and what flie want*, 
 ' ' and to get all ready in few hours : ' ' and i'o this mofl 
 regular work is concluded with a dance and a wed- 
 ding-dinner, I cannot believe there was any thing 
 ever more of a piece than the comedy. Some perfons 
 may admire your meagre tragedies; but give me a 
 play where there is a profpecSb of good meat or good 
 wine flirring in every acl of it. 
 
 Though I am confident the author had written this 
 play and printed It long before The Art of Cookery- 
 was thought of, and I had never read it till the other 
 poem was very nearly perfected, yet it is admirable 
 to fee hoAv a true rule will be adapted toagood v.'ork, 
 
 Fij
 
 f4 LETTERS. 
 
 or a good work to a true rule. I lliould be heartily 
 glad, for the fake of the pubhck, if our poets for the fu- 
 ture would make ufe of fo good an example. I doubt 
 not but whenever you or I write comedy we fhail ob- 
 fervc it. 
 
 I have jufi; now met with a furpriCng happinefs ; a 
 friend that has feen two of Dr. Lifter's works, one 
 De Euccinis JJluviatilibus et Afarinis Bxerciiatio, An Ex- 
 ercitation of Sea and River Sheli-filh, in which he 
 fays fome of thechiefeft rarities are the pizzle and fper- 
 Diatick veiTels of a fnail delineated by a microfcope, 
 the omentum or caul of its throat, its fallopian tube, 
 and its fubcrocean tefticle, Avhich are things Hip- 
 pocrates, Galen, Celfus, Farneiius, and Hervey,were 
 never mailers of ; the other curiofity is the admi- 
 rable piece of Calius Apitius De Opfuniiset Condimentisy 
 five Arte Ccquinaria^ Libri decern^ being ten books of 
 Soups and Sauces, and The Art of Cookery, as it is 
 excellently printed for the Do(5lor, who in this fo im- 
 portant affair is not fufhciently communicative. My 
 friend fays he has a promife of leave to read it : what 
 remarks he makes I fhall not be envious of, but im- 
 part to him I love as well as his 
 
 Moll hunible fervant, l5*r.
 
 BETTER?. 65 
 
 LETTER IX. TO MR. 
 
 DEAR SIR, 
 
 I MUST communicate my happlnefs to you, becauf? 
 you are fo much my friend as to rejoice at it. I fome 
 days ago met with an old acquaintance, a curious per- 
 fon, of whom I enquired if he had feen the book con- 
 cerning Soups and Sauces i He told me he had, but 
 that he had but a very flight view of it, the perfon 
 who was mailer of it not being wilHngto part with fo 
 valuable a rarity out of his clofet. I defired him to give 
 me what account he could of it. He fays that it is a 
 very handlome cciavo, for ever fmce thedaysof Ogil- 
 by good paper, and good print, and fine cuts, make a 
 book become ingenious, and brighten up an author 
 ftrangely ; that there is a copious index, and at the 
 end a catalogue of all the Dodlor's works concerning 
 cockles, Englilh beetles, fnails, fpidersthat get up in- 
 to the air and throw us down cobv/ebs, a monfter vo- 
 mited up by a baker, and fuch like, which if careful - 
 ly perufcd would wonderfully improve us. There is 
 it feems no manufcript of it in England, nor any 
 other country that can be heard of.; fo that this im- 
 prelTion is from one of Humelbergius, who as my 
 friend fays he docs not believe contrived it himfelf, 
 becaufe the thing? are fo very much cut of the way 
 
 Fiij
 
 65 i-ETTERS, 
 
 that itis net probableanylearnedmanwouldfethim- 
 felf ferioufly to work to invent them. He tells me of 
 this ingenious remark made by the editor, " That 
 " whatever manufcripts there might have been they 
 *' muft have been extremely vicious and corrupt, as 
 *' being written outby the Cooks themfelves, orfome 
 *' of their friends or fervants, who are not always the 
 ** mofl accurate." And then as my friend obferved, 
 if the Cook had ufed it much it might be fullied, the 
 Cook perhaps not always licking his fingers when he 
 had occaiion for it. I fhould think it no improvident 
 matter for the Hate to ordcra feledifcrivener totran- 
 fcribe receipts, left ignorant women and houfekeep- 
 ers fhould impofe upon future ages by ill-fpelt and 
 uncorredl receipts for potting of lobfters or pickling 
 of turkeys. Ca;lius Apicius it fcems palTes for the 
 author of this treatife, whofe fcience, learning, and 
 difcipline, were extremely contemned, and almoft ab- 
 horred, by Seneca and the Stoicks, as introducing lu- 
 xury, and infedling the manners of the Romans ; and 
 fo lay negledled till the inferiour ages, but then were 
 introduced as being a help to phyfick, to which a 
 learned author, called Donatus, fays that '* tlie kitchen 
 '* is a handmaid." I remember in oijr days, though 
 we cannot in every refpeA come up lo the Ancients, 
 that by a very good author an old gen'leman is intro- 
 duced as making ufe of three dodtors, Dr. Diet, Dr. 
 Q»]iet, and Dr. Merryni:in. They are reported to be
 
 LETTERS. 67 
 
 <:xcellent phyficians, and if kept at a conjlant penfion 
 their fees will not be very coilly. 
 
 It feems, as my friend has learnt, there were two 
 perfcoi that bore the name of Aplcius, one under the 
 republick, the other in the time of Tiberius, who is 
 recorded by Pliny " to have had a great deal of v/it 
 *' and judgment in all affairs that related to eating," 
 and confequently has his name affixed to many forts 
 of amulets and pancakes. Nor were emperours lefs 
 contributors to fo great an undertaking, as Vitcllius, 
 Commodus, Didius Julianus, and Varius Heliogaba- 
 ]us, whofe imperial names are prefixed to manifold 
 receipts ; the lafl of which emperours had the peculiar 
 glory of firfl making faufages of fhrimps, cr'abs, oy- 
 flers, prawns, and lobllers; and thefc faufagesbeino* 
 mentioned by the author which the editor publifhes, 
 from that and many other arguments the learned 
 Dodlor irrefragably maintains that the bock, as now 
 printed, could not be tranfcribed till after the time of 
 Hcliogabalus, who gloried in the titles of Apicius 
 and Vitellius more than Antoninus, who had gained 
 his reputation by a temperate, auflere, and foHd vir- 
 tue. And it feems imder his admlniHration a perfon 
 that found out a new foup might have as great a re- 
 ward as Drake or Dampier might cxpc6l for finding 
 anew continent. MyfrienJ fays the editor tells us 
 of unheard-of dainties! how " iEfopus had a fuppcr 
 *' of tlie tong-ies of birds that could foeah;" and that
 
 68 LETTERS. 
 
 *' his daughter regaled on pearls," though he aces not 
 tell us howilie drefled them; how " Horttnfius left 
 *' ten thov.fand pipesof wine inhisccilarforliis heir's 
 ** drinking ;" how " Vedius Pollio fed his fifhponds 
 *' with man's flcfli ;" and how " Cxfar bought fix 
 ** thoufand weight of lampreys for his triumphal lup- 
 *' per." He fays the editor proves equally to a de- 
 monllration, by the proportions and quantities fet 
 down, and the naufeoufnefs of the ingredients, that 
 the dinners of the emperours were ordered by their 
 phyficians, and that the recipe was taken by the 
 Cook, as the collegiate Dodors would do their bills, 
 to a modern apothecary ; and that this cuftom was 
 taken from the Egyptians ; and that this method con- 
 tinued till the Goths and Vandals overran theWtflcra 
 Empire; and that they, byufe, cxercife, and neceflity 
 of abdinence, introduced the eating of cheefe andve- 
 nifon without thofe additional fauces which the phy- 
 ficians of old found out to reftore the depraved ap- 
 petites of fuch great men as had loft their flomachs 
 by an excefs of luxury. Out of the ruins of Erafiftra- 
 tus's book of Endive, Glaucus Lorrenfis of Cowheel, 
 Mithaecus of Hotpots, Dicnyfius of Sugarfops, Agis 
 of Pickled Broombuds, Epinetus of SackpofTet, Eu- 
 thedemusof Appledumplings, Hegefippus of Black- 
 pudding, Crito of Sowced Mackarel, Stcphanus of 
 JLemon Cream, Archites of Hog'a-harflet, Acefi.ius 
 of Quince-marmalade, Kickefius of Petted Pigeons,
 
 LETTERS. 69 
 
 Diodes of Sweetbreads, and Phlliftlon of Oat- 
 cakes, and feveral other fuch authors, the great Hu- 
 melbergius compofed his Annotations upon ApiciusJ 
 whole receipts, when part of Tully, Livy, and Ta^ 
 citus, have been negleded and loft, were preferved 
 in the utmoft parts of I'ranfylvania for the peculi- 
 ar palate of the ingenious editor. Latinusl^atinius 
 finds fault with feveral dillies of Apicius, and is plea- 
 fed to fay they are naufeous; but our editor defends 
 that great perfon by fliewlng the difference of ^ our 
 cuftoms; how Plutarch fays, *' The Ancients ufed no 
 *' pepper," whereas all or at leaft five or fix hundred 
 of Apicius's delicates were feafoned with it: for we 
 may as well admire that fome Weft Indians (hould 
 abftain from fait, asthatwe fhouldbe able to bear the 
 bitLerncfs of hops in our common drink ; and there- 
 fore wc fliould not be averfe to rue, cummin, parfiey- 
 feed, marlh-mallows, or nettles, with our common 
 meat; or to have pepper, honey, fait, vinegar, rai- 
 fins, muftard and oil, rue, maftick, and cardamunis, 
 fi.rown promifcuoufiyover our dinner when it comes 
 to table. My friend tells me of fome fhort obferva- 
 tions he made out of the Annotations which he ovv'es 
 to his memory, and therefore begs pai^don if in fome 
 things he maymiftake,becaufe it is not wilfully: *' as 
 *' thatPapiriusPetruswasthegreatpatronofcuftard; 
 " that the tetrapharmaccn, a difli much admired by 
 " t]>e Emperours Adrian and Alexander Severus, was
 
 70 LETTERS. 
 
 *' made of pheafant, peacock, a wild few's hoclc and 
 *' udder, with a bread pudding over it ; and that the 
 *' name and reafon of fo odd a difti are to be fought 
 *' for amongfl the phyficians." 
 
 The work is divided into ten books, of which the 
 firft treats of Soups and Pickles, and amongfl other 
 things fhews that faucepans were tinned before the 
 time of Pliny; that Gordian ufed a glafi of bitter in 
 a morning; that the Ancients fcalded their wine; and 
 that burnt claret, as now pradlifed v^ith fpice and 
 fugar, is pernicious; that the adulteration of wine was 
 as ancient as Cato; that brawn was a Roman difh, 
 which Apicius commends as wonderful; its fauce then 
 "was mullard and honey before the frequent ufe of 
 fugar ; nor were fouced hogs-feet, checks, and ears, 
 unknown to thofe ages; it is very probable they were 
 not fo fuperflitious as to have fo great a delicate only 
 at Chrifimas ; it were worth a differtation between 
 two learned perfons, fo it were managed with tem- 
 per and candour, to know whether the Eritons taught 
 it to the Romans, or whether Casfar introduced it in- 
 to Britain; and it is ftrange he ihould take no notice 
 of it, whereas he has recorded that they did not eat 
 hare's flefh; that the Ancients ufed to marinate their 
 fifli, by frying them in oil, and the moment they were 
 taken out pouring boiling vinegar upon them. The 
 learned annotatcr obferves, thatthebeft wavof keep-
 
 LETTERS. 71 
 
 downwards ; and by this means Apicius conveyed 
 oyfters to Tiberius when in Parchia ; a noble inven- 
 tion, fincemade ufe of at Cokhefter with moll admi- 
 rable fuccefs ! What eftates might Brawn or Locket 
 have got in thofe days ! when Apicius only for boil- 
 ing fprouts after a new fafhion dcfcrvedly came into 
 the good graces of Drufus, v/ho then commanded the 
 Roman armies! 
 
 The firft. bookhaving treated of Sauces or {landing 
 Pickles for relifh, which are ufed in mofl of the fuc- 
 ceeding receipts, the fecond has a glorious fubje(9:, of 
 Saufages both with fkins and without, which con- 
 tains matters no lefs remarkable than the former. 
 The Ancients that were delicate in their eating pre- 
 pared their own mufhrooms with an amber or at 
 leafl a filvcr knife ; where the annotator fliews ele- 
 gantly againflKardouinus, that the whole knife, and 
 not only the handle, was of amber or filver, Itfl the 
 ruflinefs of an ordinary knife might prove infec- 
 tious. This is a nicety which t hope we may in time 
 arrive to ; for the Britons, though not very forward 
 in inventions, yet are outdone by no nations in imi- 
 tation or improvements. 
 
 The third book is of fuch Edibles as are produced 
 in Gardens. The Romans ufed nitre to make their 
 herbs look green; the annotator fhewsoiirf:3iltpetre at 
 prefent to differ from the ancient nitre. Apicius had a 
 way of mincing them firfl with oil and fak, and fo
 
 71 LETTERS. 
 
 boiling them, which Pliny commends : but the pre- 
 fent receipt is to let the water boil well, throw in 
 iaic and a bit of butter, and fo not only fprouts but 
 fpinage will be green. There is a moft extraordinary 
 obfervationofthe editor's to which I cannotbut agree, 
 that it is a vulgar crrour that walnuttrees, likeRufiian 
 wives, thrive the better for being beaten ; and that 
 long poles and ftones are ufed by boys and others to 
 get the fruit down, the walnuttreebeingfovery high 
 they could not otherwife reach it, rather out of kind- 
 nefs to thenifelves than any regard to the tree that 
 bears it. As for afparagus, there is an excellent re- 
 mark that, according to Pliny, they were the great 
 care of the ancient gardeners, and that at Pvavenna 
 three weighed a pound ; but that in England it was 
 thought a rarity when a hundred of them weighed 
 thirty ; that cucumbers are apt to rife in the ftomach, 
 unlefs pared, or boiled wiih oil, vinegar, and honey ; 
 that the Egyptians would drink hard without any di- 
 fturbance, becaufe it was a rule for them to have al- 
 waysboiled cabbagefor their firftdifh at fuppcr; that 
 the bell way to roaft onions is in colewort leaves, for 
 fear of burning them ; that beets arc good for fmiths, 
 becaufe they, working at the fire, are generally cof- 
 tive ; that Petronius nas recorded a little old woman 
 who fold the agrejie olus of the Ancients; which 
 honour I take to be as much due to thofe who in ouc 
 3
 
 LETTERS* 73' 
 
 days cry nettletops, elderbuds, and cllver, in fprlng- 
 time very wholefome. 
 
 The fourth book contains the univerfal Art of 
 Cookery. As Matthseus Sylvaticus compofed the 
 Pandedts of Phyfick, and Jullinlan thofe of Law, fo 
 Apicius has done the Pandedls of his Art in this book 
 which bears that infcription.The firft chapter contains 
 the admirable receipt of a falacacaby of Apicius. Bruife 
 in a mortar parilcy-feed, dried pennyroyal, dried 
 mint, ginger, green coriander, raifuis fconed, honey» 
 vinegar, oil, and wine, put them into a cacabuluni, 
 three crufts of Pycentine bread, the fiefa of a pullet, 
 goat Hones, veftine cheefe, pine kernels, cucumbers, 
 dried onions minced fmall ; pour a foup over it, gar- 
 nilh it with fnow, and fend it up in the cacabulnm. 
 This cacabulum being an unufnal velTel, my friend 
 went to his Di<5tionary, where finding an odd inter- 
 pretation of it, he was eafily perfuaded, from the 
 whimficalncfs of the compofition, and the fantaftical- 
 nefs of fnow for its garniture, that the properefl vefl'el 
 for a phyfician to prefcribe to fend to table upon that 
 occalion might be a bedpan. There are fome admi- 
 rable remarks in the annotations to the fccond chap- 
 ter concerning the Dialogue of Afellius Sabinus, who 
 introduces-a combat between mufhrooms, chats, or 
 becaficoes, oyfters, and redwings, a work that ought 
 to be publifhed ; for the fame annotator obferves that 
 this ifland is not dclli tute of redwings, though coming 
 
 Voluvie /. G
 
 74> i£tTER?. 
 
 to us only In the hardeft weather, and therefore id- 
 dom brought fat to oar tables; that the chats come 
 to lis in April and breed, and about autumn return 
 to Africk ; that experience fhews us th.ey may be kept 
 in cages, fed with beef or wether mutton, figs, grapes, 
 and minced filberds, being dainties not unworthy the 
 care of fuch as would preferve our Britifti dillies; the 
 firft delighting in hodgepodge, gallimaufries, forced 
 meats, juiTels, and falmagundics; the latter in fpare- 
 ribs, firloins, chines and barons; and thence our 
 terms of art botli as to dreffing and carving become 
 very different ; for they lying upon a fort of couch, 
 could not have carved thofe difhes v;hich ouranceflors 
 when they fat upon forms ufed to do : but fiHce the 
 life of cuiliions and elbowehairs, and the editions of 
 good books and authors, it may be hoped in time we 
 may come up to them : for indeed hitherto we have 
 been fomething to blame ; and I believe few of us 
 havefeen a diih of capon-ftoiics at table, ( lamb-ftones ia 
 aclcnowledged by the learned anno tator that we have ) 
 for the art of making capons has long been buried in 
 oblivion. Varro, the great Roman antiquary, tells us 
 how to do it by burning off their fpurs, which occafion- 
 ing their flerilitymakesthemcaponsin effedl:, though 
 thofe parts thereby become more large and tender. 
 
 The fifth book is of Peafeporridge ; under which 
 are included, frumenty, watcrgruel, milkporridge, 
 f ice-milfc, fiummeiy, Ilirabout, and the like. The La-
 
 €m orrather Greek name Is aufprios; but my friend was 
 pleivfed to entitle it Pantagruel^ a name ufed by Rabc^ 
 lais, an eminent phyfician. There are fome very re- 
 Biarkable things in it ; as, the Emperour Julianus had 
 feldom any thing but fpoonmeat at fapper ; that the 
 herb fenugreek, with pickles, oil, and wine, was a 
 Roman dainty; upon which the annotator obferves 
 that it is not ufed in our kitchens for a certain un- 
 grattuil bitternefsthat it has ; and that it I;^ plainly a 
 phyCcal diet that wiK give a ftool; and that mixed 
 with o:its it is the beft purge for horfes: an excellent 
 invention for fr-ugality that nothing.might be loft ! for 
 wbat the le.rd did not eat he might fend to his liable. 
 
 The fixth book treats of Wildfowl, how to dref^ 
 oftridges, (the biggeft, groffeft, and moft difficult of 
 digeftion, of any bird) phenicoptors, parrots, '^ffr. 
 
 The feventh book treats of things fumptuous ami 
 jcoillv, and therefore chiefly concerning Hog-meat ; 
 ix\. which the Romans came to that excefs, that the 
 laws forbad the ufage of hogs-harilet, fweetbread'^, 
 cheeks, IfTV. at their publickfuppers; and Cato, when 
 Cenfor, fought to reftrain tht: extravagant life of 
 brawn by feveral of his orations. So much regard 
 v/as had then to The Art of Cookery, that we fee it 
 took place in the thoughts of the wifeftmen, and bore 
 a part in their moft important councils. But alas! 
 the degeneracy of our prefent age is fuch, that ! be- 
 iieve few bclidcs the annotator knovsr the excellency 
 
 Gij
 
 y6 LETTERS. 
 
 of a virgin fow, efpecially of the black kind, brought 
 from China, and how to make the moft of her liver, 
 lights, brains, and pettitoes, and to vary her into thofe 
 fifty difhes which Pliny fay? were ufually made of that 
 delicious creature. Befides, Galen tells us more of its 
 excellencies; *' That fellow that eats bacon for two 
 *' or three days before he is to box or wreflle (hall be 
 *' much flronger than if he lliould eat the beft roaft 
 *' beef or bagpudding in the parifh." 
 
 The eighth book treats of fuch dainties as four- 
 footed beads afford us; as, I. The Wild Boar, which 
 they ufed to boil with all its briflles on. 2. The Deer, 
 drefled with broth made with pepper, wioe, honey, 
 oil, and flewed damfons, Iffr. 3. The Wild Sheep, of 
 which there are " innumerable in the mountains of 
 •' Yorklhire and Weftmorland that will let nobody 
 *' handle them;" but if they are caught they are to be 
 fent up with an " elegant fauce, prefcribed after a phy- 
 *' fical manner, in form of an eleduary, made of pep- 
 *' per, rue, parfley-feed, juniper, thyme dried, mint, 
 *' pennyroyal, honey, Iffc." wirh which any apother 
 cary in that country can furnilh you. 4. Beef with 
 onion fauce, and commended by Celfus, but not much 
 approved by Hippocrates, becaufe the Greeks fcarce 
 knew how to make oxen, and powdering-tubs were 
 in very few famalies; for phyficians have been very 
 peculiar in their diet in all ages; otherwife Galen 
 would fcarce have found out that young foxes were in 
 feafon in autumn,, j. The Sucking Pig boiled in paper.
 
 I.ETTE-R5. 77 
 
 6. Tiie Hare, the chief of the Roman dainties, its 
 blood being the fweeteft of any aninial, Its natural 
 fear contributing to that excellence. Though the Em- 
 pcrcurs and nobility had parks to fatten them in, yet 
 in the time of Didianus julianus if any one had fent 
 him one, or a pig, he v.rould make it laft him three 
 days ; whereas Alexander Severushadone every meal, 
 which muft have been a great e'xpenfe, and is very re~ 
 markable. But the moft exquilite animal was referved 
 for the lafl chapter; and that was the Dormoufe, a 
 harmlefs creature, whofe innocence might at leaft 
 have defended it both from Cooks and phylicians. 
 But Apicius found out an odd fort of fate for thofc 
 poor creatures ; fome to be boned, and others to be 
 put whole, with odd ingredients, into hogs-guts, and 
 fo boiled for faufages. In ancient times people made 
 it their bufinefs to fatten them; Ariftotle rightly ob- 
 ferves that fleep fattened them ; and Martial from 
 thence too poetically tells us that lleep was their only 
 nourifliment. But the annotator has cleared that point; 
 he, good man ! has tenderly obferved one of them for 
 many years, and finds that it dees not fleep all the 
 winter as falfely reported, but wakes at meals, and 
 after its repaft then rolls itfelf up in a ball to fleep. 
 This dormoufe according to the anther did not drink 
 in three years time ; but whether other dormice do 
 fo I (iannot tell, becaufe Bamboufelberglus's treatlfe 
 5of Fattening Dormice is loil ; though very coflly they 
 
 Giij
 
 '7^ LETTERS, 
 
 became a common dilh at great entertainments. Pc- 
 tronius delivers us an odd receipt for dreffing them, 
 and ferving them up with poppies and honey, which 
 muft he a very foporiferous dainty, and as good as 
 owl-pie to fuch as want a nap after dinner. The 
 fondncfs of the Romans came to be fo excelTive to- 
 wards them that, as Pliny fays, " the Cenforian laws 
 *' and Marcus Seaurus in his confulfliip got them pro- 
 " hibited from publick entertainments." But Nero, 
 Commodus, and Htlicgabalus, would not deny the 
 liberty, and indeed property, of their fubjtds in 
 fo reafonable an enjoyment; and therefore we find 
 them long after brought to table in the times of 
 Ammianus Marcellinus, who tells us likewife that 
 ** fcales were brought to table in thofe ages to weigh 
 *' curious fiihes, birds, and dormice," to fee whether 
 they were at the ftandard of excellence and perfec- 
 tion, and fometimes I fuppofc to vie with other pre- 
 tenders to magnificence. The annotator takes hold of 
 this occafion to {hew " of how great ufe fcales would 
 *' be at the tables of our nobility," efpecially upon 
 the bringing up of a difli of wildfowl ; " for if twelve 
 *' larks (fays he) fliould weigh below twelve ounces, 
 *' they would be very lean, and fcarce tolerable; if 
 *' twelve and down-weight they would be very well; 
 *' but if thirteen they would be fat to perfedion." 
 We fee upon how nice and exadl a balance the hap- 
 pinefs of eating depends !
 
 LETTERS. 7^ 
 
 I could fcarce forbear fmiling, not to fay worfe, at 
 fuch exadnefs and fuch dainties, and told my friend 
 that thofe fcales would be of extraordinary ufe at 
 Dunftable; and that if the annotator had not pro- 
 fcribed his dormoufe I ihould upon the firft occafion 
 be glad to vifit it, if I knew its vifiting days and hours, 
 fo as not to difturb it. 
 
 My friend faid there remained but two books 
 more, one of Sea and the other of River Fifh, in the 
 account of which he would not be long, feeing his 
 memory began to fail him almofl as much as my pa- 
 tience : 
 
 'Tis true in a long work foft fiumbers creep. 
 And gently fink the artilt into fleep * ; 
 
 cfpecially when treating of dormice. 
 
 The ninth book is concerning Seafifh, where 
 amongfl other learned annotations is recorded that 
 famous voyage of Apicius, who having fpent many 
 millions, and being retired into Campania, heard that 
 there were lobflers of a vafl and unufual bignefs in 
 Africa,andthereuponimpatientlygot on Clipboard the 
 fame day, and having fuftered much at fea came at lafl 
 to the coaft. But the fame of fo great a man's coming 
 had landed before him, and all the fifhermen failed 
 out to meet him, and prefented him with their fairefs 
 
 * Art of Cookery, ver. 44?.
 
 So LETTER3. 
 
 lobfters. He alked if they had no larger ? they an- 
 fwered, " Theirfea produced nothing more excellent 
 " than what they had brought." This honefl free- 
 dom of theirs, with his difappointment., fo difguftcd 
 him that he took pet, and bad the mafter return 
 home again immediately; and fo it feems Africa loft 
 the breed of one monfter more than it had before *. 
 There are many receipts in the book to drefs cramp- 
 fifh, that numb the hands of thofe that touch them ; 
 thecuttle-fifh, whofebloodis like ink; the pourcoun- 
 trel, or many feet; the fea-urchin, or hedge-hog; 
 with feveral others, whofe fauces are agreeable to their 
 natures. But to the comfort of us Moderns the An- 
 cients often ate their oyfters alive, and fpread hard 
 eggs minced over their fprats, as we do now over our 
 fait fifh. There is one thing very curious concerning 
 herrings; it feems the Ancients were very fantaftical 
 in making one thing pafs for another ; fo at Petro- 
 nius's fupper the Cook fcnt up a fat goofe, filh, and 
 wildfowl of all forts to appearance, but flili all were 
 made out of the feveral parts of one fingle porker 
 The great Nicomedes King of Bithynia had a very 
 delightful deception of this nature put upon him by 
 his Cook : the king was extremely affeited with frelh 
 
 * Lord Lyttelton's ninetecntli Dialogue of the Dead (per- 
 haps the molt humorous in that admirable colledion) feeius 
 to have been entirely founded on tlie liints fuggefted by Dr- 
 Kiiig.
 
 tETTERS, 8l 
 
 herrings, (as indeed who is not ?) but being far up in 
 Afia from the feacoft, his whole wealth could not 
 have purchafed one ; but his Cook contrived fome fort 
 of meat which, put into a frame, fo refembled a her- 
 ring that it was extremely fatisfadlory both to this 
 prince's eyes and gufto. My friend told me that to 
 the honour of the city of London he had feen a thing 
 of this nature there, that is, a herring, or rather a fal- 
 magundi, with the head and tail fo neatly laid that 
 it furprifed him. He fays many of the fpeciesmay be 
 found at the Sugarloaf in Bell Yard, as giving an 
 excellent rehih to Burton ale, and not coding above 
 fixpence; an inconfiderable price for fo imperial a 
 dainty ! 
 
 The tenth book, as my friend tells me, is concern- 
 ing Fifh Sauces, which confift of variety of ingredients, 
 amongft which is generally a kind of frumenty : but 
 it is not to be forgotten by any perfon who would 
 boil fiih exadtly, that they threw them alive into the 
 water, which at prefent is faid to be a Dutch receipt, 
 but was derived from the Romans. It feems Seneca 
 the philofopher, (a man from whofe morofe temper 
 little good in The Art of Cookery could be expedled) 
 in his third book of Natural Queftions, correcting the 
 luxury of the times, fays the Romans werexome to 
 that daintinefs that they would not eat a fifh unlefs 
 upon the fame day it was taken, that it might tafle af
 
 Sa LETTERS. 
 
 the fea, as they exprefied it, and therefore had them 
 brought by perfons who rode poil, and made a great 
 cutcry, whereupon all other people were obliged to 
 give them the road, it was an ufual expreflion for a 
 Roman to fay, " In other matters I may confide in 
 *' you; but in a thing of this weight it is not confi- 
 *' ftent with my gravity and prudence. Iwilltrufl no- 
 ** thing but my own eyes. Br ing the fifii hither ; let me 
 ** fee him breathe his laft 1" And when the poor fiili 
 was brought to table fwimming and gafping, would 
 cry out, " Nothing is more beautiful than a dying 
 *' mullet!" My friend fays the annotator looks upon 
 thefe "as jeftsmadeby the 8toicks,and fpoken abfurdly 
 "■and beyond nature;" thou<;h the annotator at the 
 fame time tells us that it was a law at Athens that the 
 filhermen fliould not wafh their hfh, but bring them 
 as they came out of the fea. Happy were the Athe- 
 nians in good laws, and the Romans in great examples! 
 but I believe our Britons need wifh their friends no 
 longer life than till they fee I^ondon fefved with live 
 herring and gafping mackarel. It is true we are not 
 <jnlte fo barbarous but that we throw our crabs alive 
 into fcalding water, and tie our lob Iters to the fpit to 
 hear them fqueak when they are roafted : our eels ufe 
 the fame periftaltick motion upon the gridiron, when 
 thcjr fliin is off and their guts are out, as they did be- 
 fore I and our gudgeons, taking opportunity of j amp-
 
 LETTERS. Sj 
 
 ing after they are flowered, give occauon to the ad- 
 mirable remark of fome perfons' folly, when to avoid 
 the danger of the fryingpan they leap into the fire. 
 My friend faid that the mention of eels put him in 
 mind of the concluding remark of the annotator, 
 " That they who amongll the Sybarites would fill\ 
 *' for eels or fell them fhould be free from all taxes." 
 I was glad to hear of the word Conclude, and told him 
 nothing could be more acceptable to me than the men- 
 tion of the Sybarites, of whom I (hortly intend a hi- 
 flory, Ihcwing how they defcrvedly banlflied cocks 
 for waking them in a morning, and fmiths for being 
 iifeful; how one cried out bccaufe one of the rofe- 
 Icaves he lay on was rumpled ; how they taught their 
 horfes to dance ; and fo their enemies coming againft 
 them with guitars and harpucords fet them fo upon 
 their round O's and minuets, that the form of their 
 battle was broken, and three hundred thoufand of 
 them {lain, as Gouldman, Lyttelton, andfeveral other 
 good authors, affirm. I told my friend I had much 
 overflayed my hour; but if at any time he would 
 find Dick Humeibergius, Cafpar Barthius, and ano- 
 ther friend, with himfelf, I would invite him to din-* 
 ner of a few but choice diihes to cover the table at 
 once, wliich except they would think of any thing 
 better fhould be a falacacaby, a dilli of fenugreek, a 
 wild fheep's head and appurtenance, with a fuitabls
 
 t4 LETTERS. 
 
 cledluary, a ragout of capons'-fiones, and feme dor- 
 mice faufages. 
 
 If, as friends do with one another at a venifon-pafty, 
 you fhould fend for a place, you know you may com- 
 mand it ; for what is mine is your's, as being entirely 
 your, Iffc.
 
 THE ART OF COOKERY, 
 
 IN IMITATION OF 
 
 HORACE'S ART OF POETRY. 
 
 WITH SOME LETTERS TO DR* LISTER AND OTHERS, 
 
 Occaftoned principally by the. Title of a Booh pithlijbedhy the 
 Dollar, being the Works of Apicius Calius concerning 
 the Soups and Sauces of the Ancients ; tvilh an ExtraSi 
 of the great efl Curinftties contained in that Ijook *. 
 
 Humbly infcribed 
 
 TO THE HON. BEEF-STEAK CLUB. 
 
 Firfl printed in 1708. 
 
 TO DR. LISTER. 
 
 Ingenious Lifter! were a pidlure drawn 
 With Cynthia's face but with a neck like Brawn, 
 With wings of turkey and with feet of calf, 
 Tho' drawn by Kneller it would make you laugh. 
 Such is, good Sir ! the figure of a feaft 5 
 
 By fome rich farmer's wife and fifter dreft, 
 
 * Of Dr. Lifter's book only 120 copies were printed in ivo?. 
 It W4S reprinted at Amlierdim in 1 709 by Thcod. Janf. Al- 
 iTieloveen, under the title ofApicii C:Elii de Opfoiiiiset Con- 
 dimentis, five Arte Coquinaria, Libri Decern. Cum Annota- 
 tionibus Martini Lifter, e Medicis Domelticis Sereniffimse Ma- 
 jeit.itis Reginse Annie, et Notis feleclioribus, variilque Ledio- 
 nibus intcgris, Humcibcrgii, Barthii, Reinefii, A Van Der. 
 Linden, et aliorum, iit ct variarum Leclionum Libello. Edi- 
 tio Secunda. Dr. Alkew liad a copy of each edition. 
 
 I'olurr.K U H
 
 86 ART OF COOKERV. 
 
 Which were it not for plenty and for ftcam 
 Might be refembled to a fick man's dream. 
 Where all ideas huddling run fo fail, 
 That fyllabubs come iixfl and foups the lad, 
 Kot but that Cooks and poets flill were free 
 To ufe their pow'r in nice variety; 
 Hence mack'rel feem delightful to the eyes 
 Tho' drefs'd with incoherent goufcberries : 
 Crabs, falmon, lobflers, are with fennel fpread, 
 Who never touch'd that herb till they were dead: 
 Yet no man lards fait pork with orangepeel, 
 Or garnifhcs his lamb with fpitchcock'd eel. 
 
 A Cook perhaps has mighty things profcft, 
 Then f^nt up but two diflics nicely dreft : ao 
 
 What fignify Scotcht-collops to a feaft ? 
 Or you can make whipp'd cream ; pray what relief 
 Will that be to a failor who wants beef. 
 Who lately fliipwrcck'd never can have eafe 
 Till reeftablifli'd in his pork and peafc ? 25 
 
 When once begun, let induftry ne'er ccafe 
 Till it has rendcr'd all things of one piece : 
 At your dcffert bright pewter comes too late 
 When your firft courfe was all ferv'd up in plate. 
 
 Moft knowing Sir ! the greatcll: part of Cooks 3(3 
 Searching for truth are cozen'd by its looks. 
 One would have all things little, hence has try'd 
 Turkey-poults frefli from the egg in butter fry'd: 
 Others to ihew the largenefs of thtir foul 
 Prepare you muttons fwoi'd a/id oxen whole, 3S 
 
 1
 
 '" 1 
 
 fuit! J 
 
 ART OF COOKERY. tf 
 
 To vary the fame things feme think is art : 
 By larding of hogs-feet, and bacon -tart. 
 The tafte is now to that perfection brought 
 That care when wanting ikill creates the fault. 
 
 In Covent Garden did a tailor dwell 40 
 
 "Who might deferve a place in his own hell 
 Give him a fmgle coat to make he 'd do 
 A veft. or breeches fingly ; but the brute 
 Could ne'er contrive all three to make a fuit ! 
 Rather than frame a fupper like fuch clothes 45 
 
 I 'd have fine eyes and teeth without my nofe. 
 
 You that from pliant parte would fabricks raife. 
 Expecting thence to gain immortal praife, 
 Your knuckles try, and let your finews know 
 Their pow'r to knead and give the form to dough : 
 Chufe your materials right, your feas'ning fix, 5 1 
 And with your fruit refplendent fugar mix; 
 From thence of courfc the figure will arife, 
 And elegance adorn the furface of your pies. 
 
 Beauty from order fprings : the judging eye S5 
 Will tell you if one fingle plate is awry : 
 The Cook mull flill regard the prefent time ; 
 T' omit what 's juft in feafon is a crime ; 
 Your infant peafe t' afparagus prefer. 
 Which to^he liipper you may befl defer. 60 
 
 Be cautious how you change old bills of fare ; 
 Such alterations fhould at leaft be rare ; 
 Yet credit to the artifl will accrue 
 Who in known things flill makes th' appearance new.
 
 8Sl ART OF COOKERr. 
 
 Frefh dainties are by Britain's traffick known, 65 
 
 And now by conftant ufe familiar grown. 
 
 AVliat lord of old would bid his Cook prepare 
 
 Alangoes, potargo/ champignons, caveare ? 
 
 Or would our thrum- capp'd anceflors find fault 
 
 For want of fugartongs or fpoons for fait ? 70 
 
 New things produce new words, and thus Monteth 
 
 Ha3 by one veffel fav'd his name from death. 
 
 The fcafons change us all. By autumn's froft 
 
 The Ihady leaves of trees and fruit are loft ; 
 
 But then the fpring breaks forth with frefli fupplies. 
 
 And from the teeming earth new buds arife. 76 
 
 So fiubble-geefe at Michaelmas are feen 
 
 Upon the fpic ; next May produces green. 
 
 The fate of things lies always in the dark ; 
 
 What Cavalier would know St. James's Park * ^ So 
 
 For Locket's {lands where gardens once did fpring, 
 
 And wild ducks quack where grafshoppers did fing : 
 
 * In the time of King Henry VIII. the Park was a wild wet 
 field ; but that prince, on builcHng St. James's palace, enclo- 
 fcd it, laid it out in walks, and collecting the waters together 
 gave to the m-w-enclofcd ground and new-raifed building the 
 name of St. James's. It was imich enlarged by Chr.rles II. who 
 added to it Icveral fields, planted it with rows of limetree?, 
 laid out the Mali, formed the canal with a decoy and other 
 ponds for waterfgwl. Tlie limetrees or tilia, wliofe blolToms 
 are incomparably fragrant, were probably planted in confe- 
 quence of a fuggeltion of Mr. Evelyn in his Fumifugium, pu- 
 blilVicd in i6ci. — The improvements lately made feem in 
 feme meaiure to have brought it into theftate it was in before 
 the Reltoration ; at leaft the wild ducks have in their turn gi" 
 X«H way tg the gra;f$Uoppers.
 
 AIT OF COOKERY. §9 
 
 A princely palace on that fpace does rife 
 
 Where Sedley's noble Mufe found mulberries * . 
 
 Since places alter thus, what conftant thought 85 
 
 Of filling various diflies can be taught ? 
 
 For he pretends too much, or is a fool, 
 
 Who 'd fix thofe things where fafhion is a rule. 
 
 King Hardicnute midft Danes and Saxons ftout 
 Carous'd on nutbrown ale and din'd on grout, 90 
 Which diili its priftine honour ftill retains, 
 And when each prince is crown'd in fplendour reigns. 
 
 By Northern cuftom duty was espreft 
 To friends departed by their fiui'ral feaft. 
 Tho' I 've confulted Holinflied and Stow 95 
 
 I find it very diiTicult to know 
 Who, to refrefn th' attendants to a grave 
 Burnt claret firft or Naples-bifcuit gave. 
 
 Trotter from quince and apples firfl did frame 
 A pie which ftill retains his proper name : Ico. 
 
 Tho' common grown, yet with white fugar ftrow'dj 
 And butter'd right, its goodnefs is allow'd. 
 
 As wealth flow'd in, and plenty fprangfrom peace. 
 Good humour relgn'd, and pleiifures found increafe. 
 ' Fwas ufual then the banquet to prolong 105 
 
 By mufick's charm and fome delightful fong. 
 Where ev'ry youth in pleafing accents ftrove 
 To tell the llratagems and cares of love ; 
 
 t A comedy called The Mulberry Garden. 
 Hiij -
 
 ^O ART OF C00KER7. 
 
 How fome fucccfsful were, how others crofl ; 
 Then to the fparkling glafs would give his toaft, I lO 
 Whofc bloom did mod in his opinion fhine, 
 To relilh both the mufick and the wine. 
 
 Why am I ftylM a Cook if I 'm fo loth 
 To marinate my fi{h or fcafon broth, 
 Or fend up what I roaft with plcafing froth, 
 If I my mafter's gufto won't difcern. 
 But thro' my baniful folly fcorn to learn ? 
 
 When among friends good humour takes itsbirth 
 'Tis not a tedious feaft prolongs the mirth; 
 But it 's not reafon therefore you fliould fpare 
 "\\'hen as their future Burgefs you prepare 
 For a fat corporation and their mayor. 
 All things fhould find their room in proper place, 
 And what adorns this treat w'ould that difgrace. 
 Sometimes the vulgar will of mirth partake, IZ5 
 And have excefiive doings at their wake : 
 Ev'n tailcrs at their y:;arly feafts look great. 
 And all their cucumbers are turn'd to meat. 
 A prince who in a forefi: rides aflray, 
 And weary to fomc cottage finds the way, 130 
 
 Talks of no pyramids of fowl or bifks of filh, 
 But hungry fups his cream ferv'd up in earthen dlih j 
 Quenches his thirft with ale in nutbrown bowls. 
 And takes the hally raflier from the coals, 
 Pleas'd as King Henry with the Miller free, 1 35 
 Who thought himfelf as good a man as he. 
 
 », ii.J 
 
 I 2C /l
 
 ART OF CO0KER7. ^ 
 
 tJnlefs fome fwectnefs at the bottom He 
 Who cares for all the crinkling of the pie ? 
 
 If you would have me merry with your cheer 
 Be fo yourfelf, or fo at leaft appear. I40 
 
 The things we eat by various juice control 
 The narrownefs or largcneft of our foul. 
 Onions will make ev'n heirs or widows weep ; 
 The tender lettuce brings on fofter fleep; 
 Eat b'^ef or pircruft if you 'd ferious be ; I45 
 
 Your fhellfifii raifes Venus from the fca : 
 For Nature that inclines to ill or good 
 Still nouriHies our paffions by our food. 
 
 Hajypy the man that has each fortune try'd, 
 To whom file n^uch has given and much deny'd ; 
 With abftinence all delicates he fees, I5 1 
 
 Ancl can regale himfelf with toaft and cheefe. 
 
 Your betters will defpife you if they fee 
 Things that are far furpafling your degree ; 
 1'herefore beyond your fubftance never treat : I55 
 *Tis plenty in fraall fortune to be neat. 
 'Tis certain that a fteward cann't afford 
 An entertainment equal with his lord. 
 Old age is frugal, gay youth will abound 
 With heat, and fee the flowing cup go round. 1 60 
 A widow has cold pie ; nurfe gives you cake ; 
 From gen'rous merchants ham or Ilurgeon take : 
 The farmer has brown bread as frefh as day, 
 And butter fragrant as the dew of May ;
 
 , Gang rous lo cnc noie ; 
 ic'd Hippocras the wine, 175") 
 ith ancient ribands fine, ?• 
 
 >s, and turkeys with the chine. J 
 
 9a. ART OF COOKZns^. 
 
 Cornwall fquabpie, and Devon whitepot brings, ' 
 And Lei'fter beans and bacon, food of kings ! 1 66 
 
 At Chriftmas time be careful of your fame ; 
 See the old tenants' table be the fame ; 
 Then if you would fend up the brawner's head, 
 Sweet rofemary and bays around it fpread ; 1 70 
 
 Kis foaming tulks let fome large pippin grace. 
 Or niidfl thofe thund'ring fpears an oi*ange place ; 
 Sauce like himfelf, ofFenfive to its foes. 
 The roguilh muftard, dang'rous to the nofe ! 
 Sack and the well-fpic 
 Waifiail the bowl witi 
 Ponidgewith plumbs, 
 If you perhaps would try fome difh unknown. 
 Which more peculiarly you 'd make your own, 
 Like ancient failors {lill regard the ccail ; 18© 
 
 By veiit'ring out too far you may be loft. 
 By roafting that which your forefathers boil'd. 
 And boihng what they roafted, much is fpoil'd. 
 That Cook to Britilh palates is complete 
 Whofe fav'ry hand gives turns to common meat. 
 
 Tho' Cooks are often men of pregnant wit, I S6 
 Thro' nicenefs of their I"ubje<5l few have v.'rit. 
 In what an awkward found that ballad ran 
 Which with this bluft'ring paragraph began ! 
 
 ' ' There was a pr ince of Lubberland, 1 9® 
 
 *' A potentate of high command, 
 *' Ten thoufand bakers did attend him, 
 *' Ten thoufand brewers did befriend him j
 
 ART OF COOKERV. ^J 
 
 '' Thefe brought liim kliriu2;-cru{l3, and thofe 
 
 *' Brought him i'mall beer, before he rofe." 195 
 
 The author raifes mountains Teeming full, 
 But all the cry produces little wool : 
 So if you fue a beggar for a houfc, 
 And have a verdicft, what d' ye gain ? a loufe ! 
 Homer, more modell, if we fcarch his books, SCO 
 Will fhew us that his heroes all were Cooks ; 
 How lov'd Patroclus with Achilles joins 
 To quarter oat the ox and fpit the loins. 
 Oh could that poet live ! could he rehearfe 
 Thy Journey, Lifter ! in immortal verfe ! 70^ 
 
 Mufe ! fing the man tliat did to Paris go 
 That he might taile theirfoups and mufhroomsknow ! 
 
 Oh ! how would Homer praife their dancing dogs, 
 Their (linking cheefe and iricafee of frogs! 
 He 'd raife no fables, fing no flagrant lie, 210 
 
 Of boys with cuftard chok'd at Newberry; 
 By their whole courfes you 'd entirely fee 
 How all their parts from firfc to laft agree. 
 
 if you all forts of perfons would engage 
 Suit well your eatables to every age. SI5 
 
 The favorite child that jull begins to prattle. 
 And throws away his iilver bells and rattle, 
 Is very humourfome, and makes great clutter 
 Till he has windows on his bread and butter ; 
 He for repeated fupper-meat v^ill cry, IZO 
 
 But won't tell mammy what he 'd have or why.
 
 ■•I 
 
 54 ART OF COOKERY. 
 
 The fmoothfac'd youth, that has new guardians 
 From playhoufe fteps to fupper at The Rofe,[chofe, 
 Where he a main or two at random throws 
 Squandering of weahh, impatient of advice, aaj 
 His eating muft be iittie, colUy, nice. 
 
 Maturer Age, to this delight grown ftrange, 
 5ach night frequents his club behind the 'Change, 
 Expelling there frugality and health, 
 And honour, rifing from a Sheriff's wealth : 230 
 Unlefs he fome infurance dinner lacks 
 'Tis very rarely he frequents Pontack's. 
 But then old age by flill intruding years 
 Torments the feeble heart with anxious fears : 
 Morofe, perverfc in humour, diffident, 235 
 
 The more he flill abounds the lefs content ; 
 His larder and his kitchen too obferves, 
 And now left he fhould want hereafter ftarves; 
 Thinks fconi of all the prefent age can give, 
 And none thefe threefcore years knew how to live. 
 But now the Cookmuft pafs thro' all degrees, 241 ■ 
 And by his art difcordant tempers pleafe. 
 And minifler to health and to difeafe. 
 
 Far from the parlour have your kitchen plac'd ; 
 Dainties may in their working be difgrac'd. 245 
 In private draw your poultry, clean your tripe. 
 And froni your eels their flimy fubftance wipe. 
 Let cruel offices be done by night ; 
 For they who like the thing abhor the fight.
 
 I 
 
 ART OF COOKERY. g^ 
 
 Next let difcretion moderate your coft, ajo 
 
 And when you treat three courfes be the moft 
 Let never frefli machines your pailry try 
 Unlefs grandees or magidrates are by; 
 Then you may put a dwarf into a pie : 
 Or if you 'd fright an alderman and mayor, 2SS 
 
 Within a pafly lodge a living hare ; 
 Then midft their gravefl furs fhall mirth arife. 
 And all the Guild purfue with joyful cries. 
 
 Crowd not your table ; let your numbers be 
 Not more than fev'n, and never lefsthan three. 260 
 
 'Tis the delTert that graces all the feaft, 
 For an ill end difparages the reft : 
 A thoufand things well done, and one forgot, 
 Defaces obligation by that blot. 
 Make your tranfparent fwcetmeats truly nice 265 
 With Indian fugar and Arabian fpice ; 
 And let your various creams encircled be 
 With fwelling fruit juft raviih'd from the tree. 
 Let plates and difhes be from China brought, 
 With lively paint and earth tranfparent wrought. 270 
 Thq fead now done, difcourfes are renew'd, 
 And witty arguments with mirth piirfu'd. 
 The cheerful mafter midft his jovial friends 
 His glafs " To their beft wifties" recommends. 
 The grace-cup follows " To hisfov'reign's health," 
 Andtohiscountry "Plenty, peace, and wealth :"a76 
 Performing then the piety of grace 
 Each man that pleafes reaffumes his place j
 
 96> ART OF COOKERr-. 
 
 While at his gate from fivch abundant (lore 
 
 He fhow'rs his godlike bleffings on the poor. 2S0 
 
 In days of old our fathers went to war 
 Expecting fturdy blows and hardy fare : 
 Their beef they often in their murrions flew'd, 
 And in their baiket-hilts their bev'rage brew'd. 
 Some oihcer perhaps might give confent 285 
 
 To a large cover'd pipkin in his tent, 
 Where every thing that every foldier got, 
 Fowl, bacon, cabbage, mutton, and what not, 
 Was all thrown into bank, and went to pot. 
 But when our conquefls were extenfive grown, 290 
 And thro' the world our Britilli worth was known. 
 Wealth on commanders th^n flow'd in apace, 
 Their Champaigne fparkled equal with their lace ; 
 Quails, becaficoes, ortolans, were fent 
 To grace the levee of a gen'ral's tent ; 295 
 
 In their gilt plate all dtlicates were feen, 
 And what was earth before became a rich terrene. 
 
 When the young players once get to Iflington 
 They fondly think that ail the world 's their own : 
 'Prentices, parifh-clerks, and Hedors, meet ; 3c® 
 He that is drunk or buily'd pays the treat. 
 Their talk is loofe ; and o'er the bouncing ale 
 At conftablcs and juftices they rail ; 
 Not thinking cuflard fuch a ferious thing 
 That common councilmen 't will thither bring, 33J 
 Where many a man at variance with his wife 
 Wich foft'ning mead iind chcefecake ends the ftrife.
 
 ART OF COOKERV. 97 
 
 E v'n fquires come there, and with their mean difcourfe 
 Render the kitchen which they fit in worfe. 
 Aiidwives demure, and chambermaids moll gay, 3 lO 
 Foremen that pick the box and com.e to play. 
 Here find their entertainment at the height. 
 In cream and codhngs rev'lling with delight : 
 What thefc approve the great men will dillike; 
 But here is the art, if you the palate flrike 3 1^ 
 
 By management of common things fo well 
 That what was thought the meaneft fhall excel. 
 While others ftrive in vain all perfons ovt'n 
 Such difhes could be drefb'd by you alojie. 
 
 When {Iraiten'd in your time, and Servants few. 
 You '11 rightly then compofe an ambigue, 34! 
 
 Where firft and fecond courfe, and your deflert. 
 All in one fingle table have their part. 
 From fuch a vaft confufion it is delight -> 
 
 To find the jarring elements unite 325 ^ 
 
 And raife a ftrudure grateful to the fight. J 
 
 Be not too far by old example led; 
 With caution now we in their footfteps tr-»f.d. 
 The French our relifh help, and well fupply 
 The want of things too grof5 by decency. 33a 
 
 Our fathers mofl admir'd their fauces fweet. 
 And ofcen afk'd for fugar with their meat; 
 They butter'd currants on fat veal beftow'd, 
 And rumps of beef with virgin-honey llrow'd. ^^^ 
 
 f^ulime I, \ ,
 
 98 ART OF COOKERT. 
 
 Infipid tafte! old Friend, to them who Paris know, 
 Where rocambole, fhalot , and the rank garlick, grow. 
 
 Tom Bold did nrll begin the flrolling mart, 
 And drove about his turnips in a cart; 
 Sometimes his wife the citizens would pleafe, 
 And from the fame machine fell pecks of peafe : 340 
 Then pippins did in wheelbarrows abound. 
 And oranges in whimfey boards went round. 
 Befs Hoy firft found it troublcfome to bawl, 
 And therefore plac'd her cherries on a Hall; 
 Her currants thereandgoofeberriesv/erefpread, 345 
 With the enticing gold of gingerbread : 
 ]jut flounders, fprats, and cucumbers, were cry'd. 
 And ev'ry found and ev'ry voice was try'd. 
 At laft the law this hideous din fuppreft, 
 And ordcr'd that the Sunday fhould have reft, 350 
 And that no nymph her noify food Ihould leli 
 Except it were new milk or mackarel. 
 
 There is no difh but what our Cooks have made, 
 And merited a charter by their trade : 354 
 
 Not French kickfhaws or oglios brought from Spain 
 Alone have found improvement from their brain ; 
 But pudding, brawn, and whitepots, own'd to be 
 Th' effedls of native in<:;cnuity. 
 
 Our Britilh fleet, which now commands the main, 
 JV'IlpiU glorious wreaths of viiSrory obtain 360 
 
 Would tliey take time ; would they with Icifure work. 
 With care would fait their beef and cure their pork •;
 
 ART OF COOKERY. 99 
 
 Would boil their liquor well whene'er they brew r 
 Their conqueft half is to the viduallcr due. 
 
 Becaufe that thrift and abftinence are good, ^6s 
 As many things if rightly underftood, 
 Old Crofs condemns all perfons to be fops 
 That cann't regale themfelves with muttonchops : 
 He often for fluft beef to Bedlam runs. 
 And the clean Rummer as the Pefthoufe Ihuns : 370 
 Sometimes poor jack and onions are his dilli, 
 And then he faints thofe friars who flink of filh. 
 As for myfelf, I take him to abflain 
 Who has good meat with decency, tho' plain : 
 But tho' my edge be not too nicely fet, 3 ys 
 
 Yet I another's appetite may whet ; 
 May teach him when to buy, when fcafon 's pail, -^ 
 What 'sfl:ale,what'schoice,what'splentiful, what's/ 
 wafle, C 
 
 And lead him thro' the various maze of tafte. J 
 
 The fundamental principle of all 3 80 
 
 Is what ingenious Cooks The Rclilh call ; 
 For when the market fends in loads of food 
 They all are taftelefs till that makes them good. 
 Befides, it is no ignoble piece of care 
 To know for whom it is you would prepare. 385 
 You 'd plcafe a friend, or reconcile a brother, 
 A tefty father, or a haughty mother ? 
 Would moUify a judge, would cram a fquire» 
 Or dk fume fmiles from Court you may dtfirc t
 
 too ART OF COOKERY. 
 
 Or would perhaps fame hafty fupper give, 39O 
 
 M'o (hew the fplendid ftate in which you live? 
 
 I'urfuant to that int'reft you propore 
 
 JNIuft all your wine and all your meat be chofe : 
 
 Let men and manners ev'ry dilh adapt ; 
 
 Who 'd force his pepper where his guefls are clapt ? 
 
 A cauldron of fat beef and Hoop of ale 396 
 
 On the huzzaing mob fhall more prevail 
 
 Than if you give them with the niceft art 
 
 Ragouts of peacocks' brains or filbert tart. 
 
 The French by foups and hautgouts glory ralfe, 
 And their denres all terminate in praife. 40 1 
 
 The thrifty maxim of the wary Dutch 
 Is to fave all the money they can touch. 
 *' Hans," cries the father, " fee a pin lies there ; 
 *' A pin a-day will fetch a groat a-year. 405 
 
 *' To your five farthings join three farthings more, 
 *' And they if added make your halfpence four !" 
 Thus may your ftock by management increafe ; 
 Your wars Ihali gain you more than Britain's peace. 
 Where love of wealth and rully coin prevail 4 10 
 What hopes of fiigar'd cakes or butter 'd ale ? 
 
 Cooks garnlfh out fome tables, fome they fill, 
 Or in a prudent mixture fhew their Ikill. 
 Clog not your conflant meals, for diflies few 
 Increafe the appetite when choice and new. 41^ 
 Ev'n they who will extravagance profefs 
 Haveflill an inward hatred for cxccfs.
 
 ART OF COOKE 
 
 R^ lor 
 
 } 
 
 Meat forc'd too much untouch'd at table lies 
 
 Few care for carving trifles in difguife. 
 
 Or that fantaftick difli fome call Surprife. 
 
 When pleafures to the eye and palate meet 4^1 
 
 That Cook has render'd his great work complete; 
 
 His glory far, like Sirloins knighthood, flies, 
 
 Immortal made as Kitcat by his pies. 
 
 Good nature mull fome failings overlook, 425 
 Not wilfulnefs but errours of the Cook. 
 A firing won't always give the found defign'd 
 By the mufician's touch and heav'nly mind ; 
 Nor will an arrow from the Parthian bow 
 Still to the deftin'd point diredly go. 430 
 
 Perhaps no fait is thrown about the dilTi, 
 Or no fry'd parfley fcatter'd on the fifl; : 
 Shall I in paflion from my dinner fly. 
 And hopes of pardon to my Cook deny. 
 For things which carelefinefs might o verfee, 435 
 And all mankind commit as well as he ? 
 I with compaflion once may overlook 
 A fKewer fent to table by my Cook ; 
 But think not therefore tamely I '11 permit "^ 
 
 That he fhould daily the fame fault commit, 440 '- 
 For fear therafcal fend me up the fprt ! J 
 
 Poor Roger Fowler had a gen'rcus mind. 
 Nor would fubmit to have his hand confin'd, 
 But alm'd at all, yet never could excel 
 In any thingbut fluffing of his veal : 445 
 
 lilj
 
 Xej. ATsl OF COOKERro 
 
 But when that difh was in perfedlion fecn, 
 
 And that alone, would it not move your fpleen f 
 
 'Tis true in a long work foft flumbers creep, 
 
 And gently link the artift into fiecp. 
 
 Ev'n I.amb hiaifcif at the moft folemn feaft 450 
 
 Might have fome chargers not exa6lly dreft. 
 
 Tables fliould be like piftures to the fight. 
 Some difhes call in fhade, fome fpread in light ; 
 Some at a diftance brighten, fome near hand. 
 Where eafe may all their delicace command : 455 
 Some fhould be mov'd when broken ; others laft. 
 Thro' the whole treat, incentive to the tafle. 
 
 Locket, by many labours feeble grown. 
 Up from the kitchen call'd his cldell fon. 
 *' Tho' wiie thyfdf," fays he, " tho' taught by me, 
 *' Yet fix this fcntence in thy memory; 461 
 
 *' There are fome certain things that do n't excel, 
 *' And yet we fay are tolerably well : 
 ** There 's many worthy men a lawyer prize 
 *' Whom they diilinguiih as of middle fize 46^ 
 
 *' For pleading well at bar or turning books; 
 " But this is not, my Son ! the fate of Cooks, 
 *' From whofe myfterious art true pleafure fprlngs 
 ** To flail of garter and to throne of kings. 
 *' A finiple fccne, a difobliging fong, 4 70 
 
 *' Which no way to the n:iain dcfign belong, 
 *' Or were they abfent never would be niifs'd, 
 '■* Ilavc made a well-wrought comedy be hiiVd i
 
 AUT OF COOKERY, JOJ 
 
 " So in a feaft no intermediate fault 
 
 " Will be allow'd, but if not befl it is naught." 475 
 
 He that of feeble nerves and joints complains 
 From ninepins, coits, and from trapball, abftains. 
 Cudgels avoids, and Ihuns the wreltling place, 
 Left Vinegar refound his loud difgrace: 
 But ev'ry one to Cookery pretends; 48© 
 
 Nor maid nor miftrefs e'er confalt their friends. 
 But, Sir, if you would roaft a pig, be free ; 
 Why not with Brawn, with Locket, or with me ? 
 We '11 fee when 't is enough when both eyes out, 
 Or if it wants the nice concluding bout ; 485 
 
 But if it lies too long the craclding 's pali'd. 
 Not by the drudgingbox to be recall'd. 
 
 Our Cambrian fathers, fparing in their food, 
 Firft broil'd their hunted goats on bars of wood : 
 Sharp hunger was their feaf 'ning, or they took 490 
 Such fait as iffu'd from the native rock: 
 Their fallading was never far to feek, 
 The poignant watergrafs or fav'ry leek, 
 Until the Britifn bards adorn'd this iile. 
 And taught them hov/ to roaft and how to boil ; 495 
 1'hen Talieflin rofe, and fweetly ftrung 
 Kis Britilh harp, inftru(5ling whilft he fung ; 
 Taught them that honefty they ftill pofTefs, 
 Their truth, their open heart, their modcft drefs. 
 Duty to kindred, conftancy to friends, 5CO 
 
 And inward worth, which always recommends j
 
 I 
 
 104 ART OF COOKERY* 
 
 Contempt of wealth and pleafure, to appear 
 
 To all mankind with hofpitable cheer. 
 
 In afterages Arthur taught his Knights 
 
 At his Round Table to record their fight?, 505 
 
 Cities eraz'd, encampments forc'd in field, 
 
 Alonfters fubdu'd, and hideous tyrants quell'd, 
 
 Infpir'd that Cambrian foul which ne'er can yield. 
 
 Then Guy, the pride of Warwick! truly great, 
 
 To future heroes due example fet ; 5 lO 
 
 By his capacious cauldron made appear 
 
 From whence the fpirits rife and Itrength of war. 
 
 The prefent age, to gallantry inchn'd. 
 
 Is plcas'd with vafl improvements of the mind. 
 
 He that of honour, wit, and mirth, partakes, 3 15 
 
 May be a fit companion o'er beef-fteaks ; 
 
 His name may be to future times enroll'd 
 
 In Eflcourt's book *, whofe gridiron 's fram'd of gold. 
 
 .Scorn not thefe lines, defign'd to let you know 
 
 Profits that from a wellplac'd table flow. 5 20 
 
 * That is, be admitted a member of Tlie Beef-Steak Club. 
 > — Richard Elicoiirt, wlio was a player and dramatick writer, 
 is celebrated in Tl-.o Spettator as poffefied of a fprightly wit 
 and an eafy and natural politencfs. His company was much 
 coveted by the great, on account of his yualilications as a 
 boon companion. Uh.cn the famous Beef-Steak Club was firft 
 initituted he had the office of Providore aiTigned him ; ,and. 
 as a mark of diitinciion ufed to wear a fmall gridiron of gold 
 hung about his neck with a green lilk riband. He died in thx 
 year 171 3. 
 
 a -
 
 ART OF COOKERY. ^C^ 
 
 *" *TIs a fage queflion if the Art of Cooks 
 is lodg'd by Nature or attain'd by books ? 
 'I'hat man will never frame a noble treat 
 Whole whole dependance lies in fome receipt : 
 Then by pure Nature ev'ry thing is fpoil'd ; 525 
 She knows no more than ftcw'd, bak'd, roafl, and 
 When Art and Nature join, th' efFecl will be [boil'd. 
 Some nice ragout or charming fricafiee. 
 
 The lad that would his genius fo advance 
 That on the rope he might fecurely dance, 5 30 
 
 From tender years enures himfelf to pains, "\ 
 
 To fummi-r's parching heat and winter's rains, > 
 And from the lire of wine and love abftains. j 
 
 No artift can his hautboy's flops command ■ 
 Unlefs fome ficilful mafler form his hand ; ^^5 
 
 But gentry take their Cooks tho' never try'd ; 
 It feems no more to them than up and ride. 
 Preferments granted thus fhew him a fool 
 That dreads a parent's check or rods at fchool. 
 
 Oxcheek when hot, and wardens bak'd, fome cry, 
 I5ut it is with an intention men Ihould buy : 541 
 Others abound with fuch a plenteous ftore, 
 That if you '11 let them treat they '11 afk no more ; 
 And it is the vaft ambition of their foul 
 To fee their Port admir'd and table full : 545 
 
 But then amidft that cringing fawning crowd 
 Who talk fo very much and laugh fo loud, 
 Who with fuch grace his Honour's adions praifc, 
 I low well he fences, dances, lings, and plays !
 
 IC6 ART OF COOKERT. 
 
 Tell him his livery 's rich, his chariot 's fine, 55^ 
 How choice his meat and delicate his wine ! 
 Surrounded thus, how Ihould the youth defcry 
 The happinefs of friendfliip from a lie ? 
 Friends ad: with cautious temper when fincere, 
 But flatt'ring impudence is void of care : ^^^ 
 
 So at an Irilh funeral appears 
 A train of drabs with mercenary tears, 
 Who wringing oft' their hands, with hideous moan, 
 Know not liis name for v.hom they feem to groan ; 
 While real Grief with filent fteps proceeds, 5 60 
 And love unfeign'd with inward paflion bleeds. 
 Hard fate of wealth ! Were lords as butchers wife 
 They from their meat would banifh all the flies. 
 The Ferfian kings with wine and maffy bowl 
 Search'd to the dark rcceffes of the foul, 5 65 
 
 That fo laid open no one might pretend 
 Unlefs a man of worth to be their friend; 
 But now the guefts their patrons undermine, 
 And flander them for giving them their wine. 
 Great men have dearly thus companions bought : 
 Unlefs by thefe inllr u6tions they '11 be taught 5 ^ 
 Theyfpreadthenet andwillthemfelvesbecauf 
 Were Horace, that great mailer, now alive, 
 A feafl with wit and judgment he 'd contrive ; 
 As thus. — Suppofmg that you would rehearfe 5 75 
 A labour'd work, and ev'ry difli a verfe, 
 He 'd fay, " Mend this, and t' other line, and this.'* 
 If after trial it were flill amifs, 
 
 ht:n 
 
 rht.J
 
 ART OF COOKERY. JOJT 
 
 He 'd bid you give It a new turn efface, 
 Or fet feme dilh more curious in its place. 5 80 
 
 If you perfiil, he would not ftrive to move 
 Apaflion fo delightful as felfiove. 
 
 We fhould fubmit our treats to criticks' view, 
 And ev'ry prudent Cook fhould read Boffu. 
 Judgment provides the meat in feafon fit, 585 
 
 V/hich by the genius drefl its fauce is wit. 
 Good beef for men, pudding for youth and age. 
 Come up to the decorum of the flage. 
 The critick ilrikes out all that is not juft, 
 And it is ev'n fo the butler chips his cruft. 590 
 
 Poets and paftry-Cooks will be the fame, 
 Since both of them their images niufl frame: 
 Chimeras from the poet's fancies flow, 
 The Cook contrives his fhapes in real dough. 
 
 WhenTruth commands there is no man can oiFend 
 That with a modefl love corredls his friend, 596 
 Tho' it is in toafling bread or butt'ring peafe, 
 So the reproof has temper, kindnefs, eafe. 
 But why fhould we reprove when faults are fmall? 
 Becaufe it is better to have none at all. 600 
 
 There is often weight in things that feem the leaft, 
 And our mofl trifling follies raife the jefl. 
 
 'Tisby his cleanlinefs a Cook muH pleafe; 
 A kitchen will admit of no difeafe. 
 The fowler and the huntfman both may run 605 
 Amidft that dirt which he mufl nicely fhun.
 
 loS ART OF COOKER-r, 
 
 Empedocles, a fage of old, would raife 
 
 A name Immortal by unufual ways : 
 
 At laft his fancies grew fo very odd 
 
 Ke thought by roalling to be made a god. 6l© 
 
 Tho' fat, he leapt with his unwieldy fluiF 
 
 In ^Etna's flames, fo to have fire enough. 
 
 Were my Cook fat, and I a flander-by, 
 
 I 'd rather than himfelf his fiih lliould fry. 
 
 There are fome perfons fo exceflive rude 615 
 
 That to your private table they '11 intrude. 
 In vain you fly, in vain pretend to fafl; ; 
 Turn like a fox they '11 catch you at the laft. 
 You muft, fiuce barsLand doors are no defence, 
 Ev'n quij your houfe as in a peftilence. 6so 
 
 JBe quick, nay very quick, or he '11 approach, 
 And as you 're fcamp'ring ftop you in your coach. 
 Then think of all your fms, and you will fee 
 How right your guilt and punifliment agree : 
 Perhaps no tender pity could prevail, 625 
 
 But you would tlirow fonic debtor into jail : 
 Kow mark th' cffed of this prevailing curfe, 
 You are detain'd by fomething that is worfe. 
 
 Were it in my elc6lion, I ihould chufe 
 To meet a rav'nous wolf or bear got loofe. 63O 
 
 He '11 eat and talk, and talking ftill will eat : 
 No quarter from the parafite you '11 get ; 
 But like a leech well fix'd he '11 fuck what 's good, 
 And never part till fatisfy'd with blood. 6^;4
 
 THE ART OF LOVE: 
 
 IN FOURTEEN PARTS. 
 
 IN IMITATION OF 
 
 OVID DE ARTE AMANDL 
 
 TO THE LORD HERBERT*, 
 
 Eldejl Son of his Excellency the Earl of Pembroke and Mont* 
 gomeryy Bann Herbert of Caerdiff^ Rofs of Kendal, 
 Farr^ Fitz-Hugh Marmion^ St. ^uintht, and Her- 
 bert of Shiitland, Knight of the Garter^ l3'c. \cfc. 
 
 MY LORD, 
 
 1 HE following lines are written on a fubje>5l that 
 will naturally be prote6led by the goodnefs and tem- 
 per of your Lordfhip ; for as the advantages of your 
 mind and perfon mufl kindle the flames of love in the 
 coldeft brealt, fo you are of an age moft fufceptible of 
 them in your ovi'n. You have acquired all thofe ac- 
 complifhments at home which others are forced to 
 feek abroad, and have given the world affurance, by 
 fuch beginnings, that you wiiifopn be qualified to fill 
 the higheft oflices of rhe crown with the fame univer- 
 fal applaufe that has conftantly attended your illuftri- 
 ous father in the difcharge of them. For the good of 
 your poflerity may you ever be happy in the choice of 
 
 * Henry Lcrd Herbert facceedcd to lua father's ti:Ics ia 
 1732, and died In 1749. 
 
 fchime I, K
 
 JIO DEDICATIOIT. 
 
 •what you love! and though thefe Rules willLe oHmdll 
 life to you that can frame much better, yet let me 
 beg leave that by dedicating them to your fervice I 
 may have the honour of telling the world that 1 am 
 obliged to yourLordfhip, and that I am mofl entirely 
 
 Your Lordfhip's 
 
 aiofl faithful humble fervant, 
 
 WILLIAM KING,
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 It is endeavoured in the following Poems to give 
 the readers of both fexes fome ideas of The Art of 
 Love; fuch a love as is innocent and virtuous, and 
 whofe dcfires terminate in prefenthappinefsand tha^ 
 of poderity. It would be in vain to think of doing it 
 without help from the Ancients, amongft whom ncnc 
 has touched that paflionmoretcuderlyandjard}' than 
 Ovid. lie knew that he bore the maflerfliip in that 
 art ; and therefore in the fourth book Be Tr'if.lhus^ 
 when he would give fome account of himfeif to fu- 
 ture ages, he calls himfeif Tenerornm Ltifor Amontm^ 
 as if he gloried principally in the defcriptions he had 
 made of that paflion. 
 
 The prefent Imitation of him is at leaftXuch a one 
 as Mr. Dry den mentions "to be an endeavour of a 
 *' later poet to write like one who has written before 
 " him on the fame fubjedl; that is, not to tranFxate 
 " his words, or be confined to his fenfe, but only to 
 " fet him as a pattern, and to write as he fuppofes 
 " that author would have done had he iiyed in our 
 *' age and in our country. But he dares not fay that 
 " Sir John Denham * or Mr. Cowley have carried 
 " this libertine way, as the latter calls it, fo far as 
 
 "^ Mr. Drvdeii alludes to The Deilruclion of Troy, \^c, 
 K ii
 
 tJZ PREFACE. 
 
 "this definition reaches." But, alas! the prefent imi- 
 tator has come up to it, if not perhaps exceeded it. 
 Sir John Denham had V"irgil, and Air. Cowley had 
 Pindar, to deal with, who both wrote up6n lafting 
 foundations; but the prefent fubjed being Love, it 
 would be unreafonable to think of too great a confine- 
 ment to be laid on it. And though the paflion and 
 grounds of it willcontinue the fame thro' all ages, yet 
 there will be many little modes, fafliions, and graces, 
 "Waysof complaifanceandaddrefsj entertainments and 
 diverfions, which time will vary. Since the world 
 will expedl new things, and perfons will write, and 
 the Ancients have fo great a fund of learning, whom 
 can the Moderns take better to copy than fuch origi- 
 nals ? it is moft likely they may not come up to them ; 
 but it is a thoufand to one but their imitation is bet- 
 ter than any clumfy invention of their own. Whoever 
 undertakes this way of writing has as much reafon to 
 underftand the true fcope, genius, and force, of the ex- 
 preifions of his author as a Hteral tranflator; and 
 after all he lies under this misfortune, that the faults 
 are all his own ; and if there is any thing that may 
 feem pardonable, the Latin at the bottom fhews to 
 whom he is engaged for it *. An imitator and his 
 
 * In the firft editions of The Art of Cookery and of The 
 An of Love Dr. King printed the original under the refpec- 
 live pages of his tranflations.
 
 ay thor {land much upon the fame terms as Ben does 
 with his father in the comedy * : 
 
 What thof he be my father ? I an't bound 'prentice to 'en. 
 
 There were many reafons why the imitator tranfpofed 
 feveral verfes of Ovid, and has divided the whole in- 
 to fourteen Parts rather than keep it in three books. 
 Thefe may be too tedious to be recited ; but, among 
 the reft, feme were, that matters of the fame fubje6t 
 might lie more compacft ; that too iarge a heap of pre- 
 cepts together might appear too burthenfome; and 
 therefore (if fmall matters may allude to greater) as 
 Virgil in his Georgicks, fo here moft of the parts end 
 with fome remarkable fable, which carries with it 
 iome moral : yet if any perfons pleafe to take the fix 
 lirft parts as the firft book, and divide the eight lail, 
 they may make three books of them again. There 
 liave by chance fome twenty hues crept into the Poem 
 out of The Remedy of I.ove, which (as inanimate 
 things are generally the mofl: wayward and provo- 
 king) fmce they would ftay have been fuiFered to (land 
 there. But as for the Love here mentioned, it being 
 all prudent , honourable, and virtuous, there is no need 
 of any remedy to be prefcribed for it but the fpcedy 
 obtaining of what it deilrcs. Should the imitator's 
 fcyle fseni not to be fufficiently reflraincd, ihould he 
 * Congreve's Love for Love. 
 
 Kiij
 
 114 PREFACIE- 
 
 'llot have afforded pains for review cr corretSlion, let 
 it be confidered that perhaps even in that he defired 
 to imitate his author, and would not perufe them, 
 left as fome of Ovid's works were, fo thefe might be 
 committed to the flames : but he leaves that for th6 
 reader to do, if he pleaies, when he has bought thera.
 
 THE ART OF LOVE, 
 
 PARTI. 
 
 Whoever knows not what it is to love. 
 
 Let him hut read thefe verfes and improve. 
 
 Swift fhips are rul'd by a.rt, and oars, and fails ; 
 
 Skill guides our chariots ; wit o'er love prevails. 
 
 Automedon with reins let loofe could fly ; 5 
 
 Tiphys with Argo's Ihip cut waves and Iky. 
 
 In Loveaffairs 1 'm charioteer of Truth^ 
 
 And fureft pilot to incautious youth. 
 
 Love 's hot, unruly, eager to enjoy ; 
 
 But then confider he is but a boy. 10 
 
 Chiron with pleafing harp Achilles tam'd, 
 
 And his rough manhers with foft mufick fram'd : 
 
 Tho' he 'd in council ilorm, in battle rage, 
 
 He bore a fecret reverence for age. 
 
 Chiron's command with llrift obedience ties 15 
 
 The fmewy arm by which brave Hector dies. 
 
 That was his tafk, but fiercer Love is mine : 
 
 They both are boys, and fprung from race divine* 
 
 The ftiffneck'd bull does to the yoke fubmit, 
 
 And the mofl fiery ccurfer champs the bit : 20 
 
 So Love {liall yield. I own I 've been his flave. 
 
 But conquer'd where my enemy v/as brave ; 
 
 And now he darts his flames without a wound, 
 
 And all his whiUling arrows die in found.
 
 Sl6 ART OF LOVE. 
 
 Nor will I raife my fame by hidden art ; 25 
 
 In what I teach found reafon fliall have part : 
 
 For Nature's paflion cannot be deftroy'd, 
 
 But moves in virtue's path when well employ'd. 
 
 Yet ftlll it will be convenient to remove 
 
 The tyranny and plagues of vulgar love. 30 
 
 May infant Chaftity, grave matrons' pride, 
 
 A parent's wiih, and b!uf!ies of a bride, 
 
 Prote(5l this Work ' fo guard it, that no rhyme 
 
 In fyllable or thought may vent a crime ! 
 
 The foldicr that Love's armour would defy 35 
 
 Will find his greateft courage is to fly. 
 
 When Beauty's am'rous glances parley beat 
 
 The only conqucft then is to retreat; 
 
 But if the treach'rou? fair pretend to yield, 
 
 'Tis prefcnt death unlcfsycu quit the fitld. 40 
 
 AVhilfl youth and vanity would make you range. 
 
 Think on fonie beauty may prevent your change ; 
 
 But fuch by falling ikies are never caught : 
 
 No happinefs is found but what is fought. 
 
 The huntfman learns where docs trip o'er the lawn, 
 
 And where the foaming boar fccures his brawn : 46 
 
 The fov.'ler's lowbell robs the lark of fieep; 
 
 And they who hope for filh muft iearch the deep : 
 
 And he that fuel leeks for chafte dcfire 
 
 Muft fearch where virtue may that flame infpire, 50 
 
 To foreign parts there is no need to roam;
 
 ART OF T.OVE. 117 
 
 From India fome, others from neighb'ring France, 
 Bring tawny ikins and puppets that can dance. 
 The feat of Britifh empire does contain 35 
 
 Beauties that o'er the conquer'd globe will reign. 
 As fruitful fields with plenty blefs the fight, 
 And as the Milky Way adorns the night, 
 So that does with thofe graceful nymphs abound, 
 Whofe dovelike foftnefs is with rofes crown'd. 6© 
 There tend'refl. blooms inviting foftnefs fpread, 
 Whilft by their fmallefl twine the captive 's led ; 
 There youth advanc'd in majefly does fhine, 
 Fit to be a mother to a race divine. 
 No age in matrons, no decay, appears ; 65 
 
 By prudence bnly there you guefs at years. 
 
 Sometimes you '11 fee thcfe beauties feek the fhade 
 By lofty trees in royal gardens made ; 
 Or at St. James's, where a noble care 
 Makes all things pleafing like himfelf appear ; 70 
 Or Kenfington, fvveet air and bleft retreat 
 Of him that owns a fov'reign, tho' moft great * ! 
 
 Sometimes in wilder groves, by chariots drawn, 
 They view the noble flag and tripping fawn. 
 
 ♦ George Prince of Denmark, confort to the Queen, greatly 
 admired tliefe fine gardens. — They were purchafed by King 
 William from Lord Chancellor Finch, were enlarged by Queen 
 Mary, and impro%'ed by Queen Anne, who was fo pleafed with 
 the place that Ihe frequently fupped during the fummerin the 
 Greenhoufe. Queen Caroline extended the gardens t» their 
 prefent fize, three miles and a haif in compafs.
 
 ItS ART or LOX'E. 
 
 On Hyde-park's circles if you chance to gaze 75 
 The lights revolving ftrikc yon with amaze. 
 
 To Bath and Tunbridgcthey Ibmctiines retr^t, 
 With waters to difpel the parching heat : 
 But youth with reafon' there may oft' admire 
 That which may raife in him a nobler fire, 80 
 
 Till the kind fair relieves what he endures, 
 Caus'd at that water which all others cures. 
 
 Sometimes at marriage rites you may efpy 
 Their charms prote<51;e<i by a mother's eye, 
 Where to bleft mufick they in dances move, 85 
 
 With innocence and grace commanding Love. 
 Cut yearly when that folenin night returns 
 When grateful incenfe on the altar burns, 
 For clofmg the mofl glorious day e'er fcen, 
 That firft gave light to happy Britain's <^ueen, 90 
 Then is the time for noble youth to try 
 To make his choice with a judicious eye. 
 Not truth of foreign realn^.s^ not fables told 
 Of nymphs ador'd and goddcffes of old, 
 Equal thoie beauties wh<» that circle frame, gs 
 
 A fubjed fit for never-dying Fame ; 
 Whofc gold, pearl. diamonds, -cU around tlicm thrown, 
 Yet ftiil can add no luP-rc to their own. 
 
 But when their Queen does to the fenate go. 
 And they make up the grandeur of the Ihov.', ico 
 They guard your hearts, ye Makers of our laws i 
 For fear the judge be fore' d to plead his caul'c ;
 
 ig eye | 
 
 :%. 115 J 
 
 ART OF LOVE. 11^ 
 
 J.eu the fubmiiTive part Hiould fall to you. 
 And they who iDppiiancs h^lp be forc'd to fue. 
 Then may their yielding hearts compafiion take, la'j 
 And grant yv>ur wiflies for. your country's lake : 
 Eafe to their beauties'.wouiids may goodnefsgive, 
 And fmce you make all happy let you live. 
 
 Sometimes thefe beauties on Newmarket plain,?, 
 Pvuling their gentle pads with filken reins, i to 
 
 Behold the conEi^s of the generous deeds. 
 Sprung from true blood and well attefted breeds : 
 There youth may juftly with difcerning e] 
 Thro' riding Amazonian habit fpy 
 That which his fwifteft courfer cannot 
 
 It is no treach'rous or bafe piece of art 
 T' approve the fide with which the fair takes part, 
 For equal paflion equal minds will flrike 
 Either in commendation or diHIke : 
 For when two fencers ready {land to fight, I20 
 
 And we 're fpeetators of the bloody light, 
 Our nimble pallion Love has foon defign'd 
 The man to whom we muft; and will be kind. 
 We think the other is not fit to win ; 
 'i'his is our conqueror ere fight begin. 1^5 
 
 If danger dares approach hini how we flart ! 
 OurTrighted blood runs trembling to our heart 
 He takes the wounds but we endure the fmart. 
 And Nature by fuch infiances docs prove 
 That we fear moft for that which moll we love, i.ja 
 
 I
 
 ISO ART OF LOVE. 
 
 Therefore if Chance ftiould make her faddle Aide, 
 Or any thing Ihould flip or be unty'd, 
 Oh ! think it not a too officious care 
 With eagernefs to run and help the fair. 
 We offer fmall things to the pow'rs above : 135- 
 
 'Tis not our merit that obtains their love. 
 So when Eliza, whofc propitious days 
 Revolving Heav'n does feem again to raife, 
 Whofe ruling genius fliew'd a mallerftroke 
 In ev'ry thing fhe did and all ihe fpoke, 140 
 
 Was ftepping o'er a pall'age which the rain 
 Had fiU'd, andfecm'd as ftepping back again, 
 Young Raleigh fcorn'd to fee his queen retreat, 
 And threw his velvet cloak beneath her feet : 
 The queen approv'd the thought, and made hit 
 great % I4< 
 
 Alark when the queen herthanksdivinewouldgive' 
 Midft; acclamations that ihe long may live ; 
 To whom kind Heav'n the bleffing has beftow'd, 
 To let her arms fucceed for Europe's good ; 
 No tyranny throughout the triumph reigns, 150 
 Nor are the captives dragg'd with pond'rcus chains;, 
 But all declare the Britifh fubjed:*' cafe, 
 And that their war is for their neighbours' peace. 
 Then v/hilft the pomp of Majefty proceeds 
 With {lately fleps and eight well chofen fleed:^, 155 
 
 * Sir Walter Raleigli is wll known to have been indebted 
 to this littk mark of gallantry for his rife at court. 
 
 6 

 
 w\RT 0? LOVE. I2t 
 
 From every place beauties may be feen 
 
 That will acknowledge none but her for queen. 
 
 Then if kind Chance a lovely maid has thrown 
 
 Next to a youth with graces like her own, 
 
 Much fhe would learn, and many queftions aik; 160 
 
 The anfwers are the lover's pleafing taflc. 
 
 *' Is that the man who made the French to fly ? 
 
 " What place is Blenheim ? is the Danube nigh ? 
 
 *' Where was it that he with fword viAorious flood, 
 
 *' And madetheirtrembiingfquadronschufe the flood? 
 
 *' What is the gold adorns this royal ftate ? 166 
 
 •' Is it not hammer'd all from Vigo's plate ? 
 
 " Do n't it require a mofl; prodigious care 
 
 " To manage treafures in the height of war ? 
 
 *' Mud he not be of calmell: truth poffell 1 70 
 
 •' Prefides o'er councils of the royal breaft? 
 
 *' Seafights are fureiy difmal fcenes of v/ar ! 
 
 *' Pray, Sir, were ever you at Gibraltar ? 
 
 " Has not the Emp'rour got fome-envoy here ? 
 
 *' Won't Daniih, Svvediih, Pruflian, lords appear , 
 
 *' Who reprefentsthe line of Hanover? 176- 
 
 *' Do n't The States General affiil them all ? 
 
 *• Should we not be in danger if they fall ? 
 
 *' If Savoy's Duke and Prince Eugene could meet 
 
 " In this folemnity it would be complete. 1 80 
 
 " Think you that Barcelona could have ftood 
 
 '^ Without the hazard of our uoblefl blood? 
 
 :ar??
 
 I2Z ART OF LOVE. 
 
 *' At Ramllics what enfigns did you get ? 
 *' Did many towns in Flanders then fubmit ? 
 *' Was it the conq'ror'shus'nefs to deflroy, 185 
 
 *' Or was he met by all of them with joy ? 
 ** Oh ! could my wifli but fame eternal give 
 *' The laurel on thofe brows fhould ever live !" 
 The Britifh worth in nothing need defpair 
 When it has fuch afliflance from the fair. 190 
 
 As virtue merits it expe<5ls regard, 
 And Valour flies where Beauty is the reward. 
 
 PART 11. 
 
 In Loveaffairs the theatre has part, 
 That wife and mod inftrudling fcene of art, 
 Where vice is punifh'd with a jufl reward, Ipj 
 
 And virtue meets with fuitable regard; 
 Where mutual love and friendfhip find return, 
 But treach'rous infolence is hifs'd with fcorn, 
 And I-ove's unlawful wiles in torment burn. 
 This without blufhes whilft a virgin fees 
 Upon fome brave fpe6i:ator Love may feize, 
 Who till fhe fends it never can have cafe. 
 
 As things that were the bell at ilrft 
 By their corruption grow the woril, 
 The modern llage takes liberties aoj 
 
 Unften by our forefathers' eyes.
 
 ART OF LOVE. tZJ 
 
 As bees from hive, from molehill ants, 
 
 So fwarm the females and gallants. 
 
 All crowding to the comedy 
 
 For to be feen and not to fee. »ro 
 
 But tho' thefe females are to blame. 
 
 Yet ftill they halve fome native fliame : 
 
 They all are filent till they 're afk'd, 
 
 And ev'n their impudence is mafk'd; 
 
 For Nature would be modeft ftill, ai5 
 
 And there is reludtancy in will. 
 
 Sporting and plays had harmlefs been. 
 And might by any one be feen. 
 Till Romulus began to fpoil them, 
 "Who kept a palace call'd Afylum, 220 
 
 "Where baftards, pimps, and thieves, and panders, 
 Were lifted all to be commanders ; 
 But then the rafcals were fo poor 
 They could not change a rogue for whore. 
 And neighb'ring jades refolv'd to tarry 22S 
 
 Rather than with fuch fcrubs they 'd marry, 
 But for to cheat them and be wiv'd 
 They knavilhly a farce contriv'd. 
 No gilded pillars there were feen. 
 Nor was the cloth they trod on green ; a^O 
 
 No ghofts came from the cellar crying. 
 Nor angels from the garret flying : 
 The houfe was made of fticks and bullies, 
 And all the floor was ftrew'd with rufhes; 
 
 Lij
 
 114 A^^T OF LOVE. 
 
 The feats were rals'd with turf and fod?, i^^ 
 
 Whence heroes might be view'd and gods. 
 
 Paris and Helen was the play, 
 
 And how both of them ran away. 
 
 Romulus bad his varlets go 
 
 Invite the Sabines to his fhcw. 240 
 
 Unto this opera no rate is ; 
 
 They all were free to come in grath ; 
 
 And they, as girls will feldom mifs 
 
 A merry meeting, came to this. 
 
 There was much wifhing, fighing, thinking, 245 
 
 Not Vvithout whifpcring and winking. 
 
 Their pipes had then no fliaking touch ; 
 
 Their fong and dance were like the Dutch. 
 
 The whole performance was by men, 
 
 Becaufe they had no eunuchs then. ajo 
 
 Bot whilfl: the mufick brifkly play'd -^ 
 
 Romulns at his cue difplay'd ?■ 
 
 The fign for each man to his maid. -^ 
 
 *' Huzza !" they cry; then feize ; fome tremble 
 
 In real fa6l, tho' moft dillemble : 2SS 
 
 Some are attempting an efcape, 
 
 And others foftly cry, "A rape!" 
 
 Whilft fome bawl out, " That they had rather 
 
 •' Than twenty pound lofe an old father :" 
 
 Some look extremely pale, and others red : 260 -j 
 
 Some wilh they *d ne'er been born, or now were^ 
 
 And others fairly wifh themfelves a-bed : [dead ; ^
 
 ART OF LOVE. 125 
 
 Some rant, tear, run ; whilft fome fit ftlll. 
 
 To fhew they 're ravifii'd much agalnft their v, ill. 
 
 Thus Rome hegan; and now at laii, 265 
 
 After fo many ages paft, 
 
 Their rapes and lewdnefs without fhame, 
 
 Their vice and villany, is the fame 
 
 111 be their fate who would corrupt the ftage, 
 
 And fpoil the true corrector of the age ! 270 
 
 PARTIIL 
 
 Now learn thofe arts which teach you to obtain 
 Thofe beauties which you fee divinely reign. 
 
 Tho' they by Nature are tranfcendent bright, 
 And would be feen ev'n thro' the gloom ol night, 
 Yet they their greatefl luftre ftill difplay 275 
 
 In the meridian pitch of calmeft day ; 
 'Tis then we purple view and coftly gem, 
 And with more admiration gaze on them. 
 Faults fcek the dark : they who by moonlight woo 
 May find their fair one as inconflant too. 280 
 
 When modefty fupported is by truth 
 There is a boldnefs that becomes your yoirtli. 
 In gentle founds difclofe a lover's care ; 
 'Tis better than your fighing and defpaJr. 
 Birds may abhor their groves, the flocks the plain, 
 The hare grown bold may face the dogs again, z2(-: 
 
 h iij
 
 fl$ ART OF LOVE. 
 
 "When Beauty do n't in Virtue's arms rejoice, 
 
 Since harmony in Love is Nature's voice. 
 
 But harden'd impudence fometimes will try 
 
 At things which juftice cannot but deny ; 290 
 
 Then what that fays is infolence and pride 
 
 Is prudence with firm honour for its guide. 
 
 The lady's counfels often are betray'd 
 By trufting fecrets to a fervile maid, 
 The whole intrigues of whofe infidious brain ^95 
 Arc bafe, and only terminate in gain. 
 Let them take care of too difFufive mirth ; 
 .Sufpicious thence, and thence attempts, take birth. 
 Had Ilium been with gravity employ'd, 
 By Sinon's craft it had not been deflroy'd. 3C0 
 
 A vulgar air, mean fongs, and free difcourfe, 
 With fly infinuations, may prove worfe 
 To tender females than the Trojan horfe. 
 
 Take care how you from virtue flray. 
 For fcandal follows the fame way, 305 
 
 And more than truth it will devife. 
 Old poets did delight in lies, 
 "Which modern ones now call furprife. 
 Some fay that Myrrha lov'd her father, 
 That Eyblis lik'd her brother rather ; 3 10 
 
 And in fuch tales old Greece did glory,, 
 ^mongil the which pray lake this ftory. 
 
 Crete was an ifle whofe fruitful nations 
 Swarm'd with an hundred corporations, 
 
 1 
 
 I
 
 ART or LOVE. i%y 
 
 An.i there upon Mount Ida flood 3 15 
 
 A venerable fpacious wood, 
 
 Within whofe centre was a grove 
 
 Immortaliz'd by birth of Jove : 
 
 In vales below a bull was fed 
 
 Whom all the kine obey'd as head ; 320. 
 
 Betvvlxt his horns a tuft of black did grow, 
 
 But all the reft of him was driven fnow. 
 
 (Our tale to truth does not confine us.) 
 
 At the fame time one Jufiice Minos, 
 
 That liv'd hard by, was marry'd lately, 325 
 
 And that his bride might fliew more ilately, 
 
 When thro' her pedigree he run, 
 
 Found fhe was daughter to the Sun. 
 
 Her name Pafiphae was height, 
 
 And as her father fhe was bright. 330 
 
 This lady took up an odd fancy 
 
 That with this bull flie fain would dance ye. 
 
 She 'd mow him grafs, and cut down boughs. 
 
 On which his flatelinefs might browfe. 
 
 Whilft thus fhe hedges breaks, and climbs, ^IS 
 
 Sure Minos muft have happy times! 
 
 She never car'd for going fine; 
 
 She 'd rather trudge among the kine : 
 
 Then at her toilet fhe would lay, 
 
 " Methinks I look bizarre to-day; 340 
 
 '' Sure my glafs lies ; I 'm not fo fair : 
 
 '' Oh ! were this face o'ergrown v/ith hair !
 
 1 
 
 Ja8 ART OF LOVE. 
 
 *' I never was for topknots born ; 
 
 *' My favourites fhould each be horn. 
 
 *' But now I 'm liker to a fow 345 
 
 •' Tl^an what I wifh to be, a cow — 
 
 " What would I give that I could low ! 
 
 '* My buU-y cares for none of thofe 
 
 *' That are afraid to fpoil their clothes : 
 
 •' Did he but love me, he 'd not fail 350 
 
 *' To take me with my draggle-tail." 
 
 Then tears would fall ; and then fhe 'd rUn 
 As would the devil upon Dun. 
 When fhe fome handfome cow did fpy 
 She 'd fc?.n her form with jealous eye ; 25S 
 
 Say, " How fhe friflcs it o'er the plain, 
 *' Runs on, and then turns back again! 
 ** She feems a bear refolv'd to prance, 
 ** Or a fhe afs that tries to dance. 
 *' In vain fhe thinks herfelf fo fine; 360 
 
 •* She cann't pleafe bull-y, for he 's mine. 
 *' But 't is revenge alone afTuages 
 *' My envy when the paffion rages, 
 *' Here, Rafcal ! quickly yoke that cow, 
 *' And fee the fhrivell'd carrion plough. 2(>S 
 
 " But fecond counfel 's befl : fhe dies : 
 •' I '11 make immediate facrifice, 
 *' And with the vidiim feafl my eyes. 
 *' *Tis thus my rivals I '11 remove 
 *• Who iuterpofe 'twiit me and what I love. 370 
 
 I
 
 1 
 
 ART OF LOVE. 129 
 
 *' lo In Egypt is worihippVl now 
 
 ** Since Jove transforni'd her to a cow. 
 
 *' 'Twas on a bull Europa came 
 
 *' To that blell land which bears her name. 
 
 *' Who knows what fate 's ordain'd for me, 3 75 
 
 *' The languifiiing Pafiphae, 
 
 **■ Had I a bull as kind as flie!" 
 
 When madnefs rages with unufual fire 
 'Tio not in Nature's pow'r to tjuench defirc ; 
 Then vice transforms man's reafon into beaft, 
 And fo the monfler 's made the poet's jefl. 381 
 
 PART IV. 
 
 Let youth avoid the noxious heat of wine ; 
 
 Bacchus to Cupid bears an ill defign. 
 
 The grape, when fcatter'd on the wings of Love, 
 
 So clogs the down the feathers cannot move. 385 
 
 The boy, who otherwife would fleeting ftray, 
 
 Reels, tumbles, lies, and is enforc'd to ftay ; 
 
 Then courage rifes when the fpirit is fir'd, 
 
 And rages to poffefs the thing defir'd ; 
 
 Care vanifhes thro' the exalted blood, 390 
 
 And forrow paffcs in the purple flood ; 
 
 Laughter proceeds; nor can he want a foul 
 
 Whofe thoughts in fancy'd heaps of plenty roll. 
 
 Uncommon freedom lets the lips impart 
 
 Plain fimple truth from a diflembling heart ; $gs
 
 13^ ART OF LOVK. 
 
 Then to fome wanton paffion he rauft run 
 
 Which his difcrceter hours would gladly ihun. 
 
 Where he the time in thoughtlefs eafe may pafs, 
 
 -And write his lilUt-doux upon the glafs, 
 
 Whilfl; finking eyes with languifhment profefs 4c© 
 
 Follies his tongue refufes to confefs. 
 
 Then his good nature will take th' other fup 
 
 If fhe '11 firft kifs that he may kifs the cup ; 
 
 Then fomething nice and coftly he could eat, 
 
 Suppofing ftiil that fhe will carve the meat ; 40/ 
 
 But if a brotherorahufbandixby, j 
 
 Whom the illnatur'd world may call a fpy, 
 
 He thinks it not below him to pretend 
 
 The openheartednefs of a true friend, 
 
 Gives him refpedl furpafling his degree ; 410 
 
 The perfon that is meant by all is {he. 
 
 'Tis thought the fafeft way to hide a paflion, 
 
 And therefore call'd the friendfhip now in fafhion : 
 
 By fecret figns and enigmatick ftcalth 
 
 She is the toaft belongs to ev'ry health, 41^ 
 
 And all the lover's bus'nefs is to keep 
 
 His thoughts from anger and his eyes from fleep. 
 
 He '11 laugh ye, dance ye, fing ye, vault, look gay. 
 
 And ruffle all the ladies in his play; 
 
 But ftill the gentleman is extremely fine ; 420 
 
 There is nothing apiih in him but the wine. 
 
 Many a mortal has been bit 
 ^y marrying in the drunken iit>
 
 ART OP L0V8. Ijl 
 
 To lay the matter plain before ye 
 
 Pray hearken whilft I tell my (lory. 425 
 
 It happen' d about break of day 
 Gnoflis a girl had loft her way. 
 And wander'd up and down the Strand 
 Whereabouts now York Buildings Hand; 
 And half awake, Ihe roar'd as bad 430 
 
 As if (he really had been mad ; 
 Unlac'd her boddice, and her gown 
 And petticoats hung dangling down ; 
 Her fhoes were flipt, her ankles bare. 
 And all around her flew her yellow hair. 435 
 
 " Oh, cruel Thefeus! can you go 
 ** And leave your little Gnoflis fo ? 
 *' You in your fcuU did promife carriage, 
 *' And gave me proofs of future marriage, 
 ** But then laft night away did creep, 440 
 
 *' And bafely left me faft afleep." 
 Then fhe is falling in a fit, 
 But do n't grow uglier one bit; 
 The flood of tears rather fupplies 
 The native rheum about her eyes. 445 
 
 The bubbies then are beat again ; 
 Women in pafiion feel no pain. 
 " What will become of me ? oh! what 
 *• Will come of me ? oh ! tell me that.'* 
 
 Bacco was drawer at The Sun, 450 
 
 And had his belly like his tun.
 
 13» AkT OP lOVZ, 
 
 For blubber-lips, and cheeks all bloated. 
 
 And frizzled pate, the youth was noted. 
 
 He, as his cuftom was, got drank. 
 
 And then went {h-ollinor for a punk. 455 
 
 Six links and lanterns, 'caufe it was dark yet, 
 
 He prefs'd from Covent-Garden-rvIarket ; 
 
 Then his next captives were the Waits, 
 
 Who play'd left he fhould break their pates. 
 
 But asalong in ftate he paffes 460 
 
 He met a fellow driving affes; 
 
 Tor there arc fev'ral folks whofe trade is 
 
 To milk them for confumptive hdies. 
 
 Nothing would ferve but get aftride. 
 
 And the old bellman too muft ride. 465 
 
 What with their houting fhouting yell 
 
 The fcene bad fomcthing in it of hell : 
 
 And who {liould all this rabble meet 
 
 But Gnofly drabbling in the ftreet ? 
 
 The fright deftroy'd her fpeech and colour^ 47O 
 
 And all remembrance of her fculler ; 
 
 Her condud thrice bad her be flying ; 
 
 Her fears thrice hinder'd her from trying. 
 
 Like buUruflies on fide of brook. 
 
 Or afpin leaves, her joints ail lliook. 4)^5 
 
 Bacco cry'd out, " I 'm come, my Dear! 
 
 " 1 11 foon difperfe all thoughts of fear : 
 
 *' Nothing but joys fhall revel here," 
 
 Then, hugging her in brawny arm, 
 
 rrotcfted " .^.e fliould have no haim^ 4^^ 
 
 /J 
 
 1
 
 ] 
 
 ART OF LOVE." IT;^ 
 
 ** But rather would aflure her he 
 
 " Rejoic'd in opportunity 
 
 " Of meeting fuch a one as ihe; 
 
 *' And that encircled all around 
 
 *' With glafs and candles many a pound, 485 
 
 *' She fliould with bells command the bar, 
 
 *' And call her rooms Sun, Tvloon, and Star; 
 
 *' That the good company were met, 
 
 *' And fhouid not want a wedding-treat." 
 
 In fhort they marry'd, and both made ye 490 
 
 lie a free landlord, ftie a kind landlady. 
 
 The Spartan lords their villains wocld invite 
 To an cxcefs of drink in children's fight: ' 
 The parent thus their innocence would faVe, 
 And to the load of wine conderan the Have. 495 
 
 PART V. 
 
 The feafon mull be mark'd for nice addrefs; 
 
 A grant ili-tim'd will make the favour lefs. 
 
 Not the wife gard'ner more difcretion needs 
 
 To manage tender plants and hopeful feeds, [flow'rs. 
 
 To know when rain, when warmth, muft'guard his 
 
 Than lovers do to watch their mofl aufpicioushours. 
 
 As the judicious pilot views from far 5C» 
 
 Th' influences of each rifmg ilar, 
 
 V/here figns of future calms or florms appear. 
 
 When fitting to be bold, and when to fear; 505
 
 134 -ART or Lovj!:, 
 
 So Love's attendant by long art defcrks 
 
 The rife of growing paffion from the eyes. 
 
 Love has its feftival as well as faft, 
 
 Nor does its carnival for ever laft. 
 
 What was a vifit now is to intrude; 510 
 
 What is civil now to-morrow will be rude. 
 
 Small figns denote great things : the happy man 
 
 That can retrieve a glove or falling fan 
 
 With grateful joy the benefit receives, 
 
 Whilft with defponding care his rival grieves. 51^ 
 
 Whene'er it may feem proper you fliould write. 
 Let Ovid the prevailing words indite : 
 By Scropc *, by Duke, by Mulgravc, then be taught. 
 And Dryden's equal numbers tune your thought. 
 SubmilTive voice and words do befl agree 5 20 
 
 To their hard fortune who mufl fuppliants be : 
 It was by fpcech hke this great Priam won 
 Achilles' foul, and fo obtain'd his fon. 
 
 Hope is an ufeful goddefs in your cafe. 
 And will increafe your fpeed in Cupid's race : 5 25 
 Tho' in its promifes it fail fometimes, 
 Yet with frefh refolution flill it climbs: 
 
 * Sir Car Scrope, one of thofe writers in the reign of Kijig, 
 Charles II. that Mr Pope calls 
 
 " The mob of gentlemen who write with eafe." 
 He was created a Baronet Jantir.ry i6th 1666. The greater 
 part of his writings confift uf tvanflations from Ovid, Virgii, 
 and Horace, with feme love fongs and lampoons. They are 
 to be found in the volumes of Dryden's MifccHanies. He jiied 
 lomc time in the year iSSo.
 
 ART OF LOVE. Ij * 
 
 Tko' much is lofl at play, yet Hope at lafl 
 Drives on, and meets with fome fuccefsful call. 
 Why then make hafte ; on paper ting'd with gold 
 By quill of dove thy lovefick tale unfold. 531 
 
 Move fprightly, knowing it is for life you pufh ; 
 Your letter will not tho' yourfelf might biuih. 
 'Tis no ignoble maxim I would teach 
 The Britifn youth — to ftudy rules of fpeech : ^^S 
 That governs cities, that enafts our laws. 
 Gives fecret flrength to juftice in a caufe: 
 To that the crowd, the judge, the fenate, yield; 
 'Gainft that ev'n beauty cann't maintain the field. 
 Conceal your art, and let your words appear 540 
 Common, not vulgar; not too plain, tho' clear. 
 Shew not your eloquence ac the firft fight. 
 But from your fnade rife by degrees of hght. 
 Drefs thoughts as if Love's filence firft were broke. 
 And wounded heart with trembling paflion fpoke. 
 
 Suppofe that your firfl letter is fent back, 546 
 Yet flic may yield upon the next attack : 
 If not , by art a diamond rough in hue 
 Shall brighten up all-glorious to the view. 
 Soft waterdrops the marble will deftroy, 550 
 
 And ten years' fiege prove conqueror of Troy. 
 
 Suppofe Ihe has read, but then no anfwer gave; 
 Tt is fufficient ftie admits her Have. 
 Write on ; for time the freedom may obtain 
 Of having mutual love fent back again. ^^s 
 
 Mj]
 
 X36 ART or LOVE, 
 
 Perliaps fiie writes, biu it is to bid you ccafe. 
 And that your lines but difcompofe her peace. 
 This is a ftratagem of Cupid's war; 
 She 'd like a Parthian wound you from afar, 
 And by this art your conllancy would try : 5 60 
 
 She 's neareft much when feeming thus to fly. 
 Parfue the fair Difdain thro' cv'ry place 
 That with her preftnce fhe vouchfafes to grace : 
 If to the play fhe goes, be there, and fee 
 How Love rewarded makes the comedy : 5 65 
 
 Fly to the Park, if thither llic 'd retire ; 
 Perhaps fome gentle breeze may fan the fire : 
 But if to Court, then follow where you '11 find 
 ^/Iajeilick Truth with facred Hymen join'd. 
 
 It is in vain fome (ludy to profcfs 5 ; 
 
 Their inclination by too nice a drefsy 
 A? not content with manly ciranlinefs. 
 Mien, fhape, cr manner, no addition needs; 
 There is fomething carelef:^ that all art exceeds 
 Adonis from his lonely folitudes, j 75 ■ 
 
 Rough Thcfeus landing from the briny floods, 
 Hippolytus frefh hunting from the woods, 
 O'er heroines of race divine prevail'd, 
 Where powder'dwig andfnuff box might have fali'd. 
 
 No youth that is wife will to his figure truft, 3 80 
 As if fo fine to be accofted firli. 
 Diflrefs muft alk, and gratefully receive ; 
 ' ris Kcav'n and Beauty's honour they can give* 
 
 1
 
 ART OF LOVE. 137 
 
 There's fome have thought that looking pale and wan , 
 With a fubmiffion that is lefs than man, 5 ^5 
 
 Might gain their end, but funk in the attempt. 
 And found that which they merited, contempt. 
 
 Gain but admittance, half your ftory is told ; 
 There is nothing then remains but to be bold : 
 Venus and Fortune will affift your claim, 59^ 
 
 And Cupid dart the breaft at which you aim. 
 No need of fludy'd fpeech or fkilful rules ; 
 Love has an eloquence beyond the fchools, 
 Where fofteft words and accents will be found 
 All flowing in to form the charming found. 59 ' 
 Of her you love bright images you '11 raife; 
 When juft they are not flattery but praife. 
 What can be faid too much of what is good, 
 Since an immortal fame is Virtue's food ? 
 
 For nine years' fpace Egypt had fruitlefs flood 
 Without the aid of Nile's prolifick flood, 6oI 
 
 When Thrafius faid, " That blefling to regain 
 " The gods require a flranger fhould be flain." 
 *' Be thou the man," the fierce Bufiris cries; 
 *' I '11 make th' advifer his own facrifice; 605 
 
 ** Nor can he blame the voice by which he dies," 
 
 Perillus, firil and laft of 's trade, 
 For Phalaris a bLill had made; 
 With tire beneath, a.id water hot, 
 He put the brafier in the pot, 610 
 
 Miij .
 
 13^ ART OF lOVE, 
 
 And gave him, like an honeft fellow, 
 Precedence in his bull to bellow. 
 The tyrants both did right. No law more juft 
 Tlian " He that thinks^of ill fliould feel it firil." 
 Curll be their arts, unfludy'd be their trade, 615- 
 Who female truth by falfehood would invade ; 
 That can betray a friend or kinfman's names, 
 And by that covert hide unlawful flames; 
 Whofe eager paiTiou finds its fure relief 
 When terminating in another's grief! 620 
 
 Carelefs hereafter what they promife now. 
 To the jEolian'winds commit their vow, 
 Then cite th' example of the faithltfs Jove, 
 W^ho laughs they fay at perjury in iovc. 
 'They think they have a thoufand ways to pleafc, 
 Ten thouLind more to keep the mind at eafe ; 626 
 For as the earth in various birth abounds, 
 Their humour dances in fantaflick rounds; 
 Like Proteus, can be lion, river, bear, 
 A tree, or any thing that is fram'd of air. 63c 
 
 Thus they lay fnares, thus they fet oif their bai: 
 With all the fine allurements of deceit : 
 But they who thro' this courfe of mifchicf run 
 Will find that fraud is various, virtue one. 
 
 Achilles, a gigantick boy ! 6 J J 
 
 Was wanted at the fiegc of Troy : 
 His country's danger did require him, 
 And al! the gcu'ralidid defire him:
 
 ART OF LOVE, 135^ 
 
 ForDIfcord, you nvail know, had thrown 
 
 An apple where it was two to one 640 
 
 But if a ftir was made about it 
 
 Two of the three mull go without it: 
 
 And fo it was ; for Paris gave it 
 
 To Vcuus, who refolv'd to have it. 
 
 (The ftory here would be too long, 645 
 
 But you may find it in the fong. ) 
 
 Venus, altho' not over virt'ous. 
 
 Yet Hill defigning to be court'ous, 
 
 Refolved to procure the varlet 
 
 A flaming and triumphant harlot, 6 j o 
 
 Firft florn by one fhc would not ftay with, 
 
 Then marry 'd to be run away with. 
 
 Her Paris carry 'd to his mother, 
 
 And thence in Greece arofe that pother 
 
 Of which old Homer, Virgil, Dante, 655 
 
 And Chaucer, make us fuch a cant. 
 
 It was a jufl and noble caufe, 
 The breach of hofpitable lav/s : 
 Tho' done to one, yet common grief 
 Made all unite to feek relief; 66® 
 
 But when they fought the country round 
 There 's no Achilles to be found. 
 His mother was afraid t' have loft him, 
 And therefore thus fhe did accoft him : 
 *' My pretty Dear ! let me perfuade ye 66j 
 
 ^'' This once for tc become a lady :
 
 14® ART or LOVE. 
 
 " Tliis petticoat and rtiantua take, 
 
 *' And wear this nightrail for my fake. 
 
 *M 've made your knots all of the fmalleft, 
 
 " Becaufe yorur fomething of the tallefl. 670 
 
 *' I 'd liave you never go unlac'd 
 
 *' For fear of fpoiling of your waift. 
 
 " Now languifh on me — fcorn mc now — - 
 
 *' Smile — frown — run — laugh — I fet it will do. 
 
 " Yau 'd per'fe^l; all you now begin 675 
 
 *' Only for poking out your chin." 
 
 Him thus inftrudled foon (he fends f 
 
 To I.ycomede, and there pretends r 
 
 It v^'as a daughter of a friend's, 3 
 
 Who grown full large by country feeding 680 
 
 Wasfent to him to mend her breeding : 
 1 lerfelf had now no child, nor no man 
 To trufl: but him, poor lonely woman ! 
 That might reward him well hereafter 
 If he would ufe her as his daughter. 685 
 
 In choice of names, as Iris, Chloe, 
 Pfyche, and Phillis, ihe took Zoe. 
 Th' old man recciv'd her, and expreft 
 IVjuch kindnefs for his topping gueft ; 
 Shcw'd her his girls ; fald, " Whilll ihe 'd flay 690 
 *' His Zoe fhould be us'd as they." 
 At firfl there much reftrv'dntfs paft, 
 But v.'hen aci^uaintance grew at lafl,
 
 ART OF LOVE. 14! 
 
 They 'd jefl, and ev'ry one would fhew 
 
 Her works, which fhe could never do. 695 
 
 One faid her fingers were moft fitting 
 
 For the moft fiddling work of knittint^; 
 
 Therl one her wedding-bed would make, 
 
 And all mufi. help her for love's fake. 
 
 Zoe undreft in nightgown tawdry, 7CO 
 
 V/ich clumfy fift muft work eiribroid'ry; 
 
 Whilll: others try her greafy clunches 
 
 With ftoning currants in whole bunches : 
 
 But there was one cail'd Dedamy 
 
 Miftrufted fomething by the by, 705 
 
 And, fighing, thus one night (he faid, -^ 
 
 *' Why, Zoe, may n't we go to bed ?" >• 
 
 *' Soon as you pleafe, good iVliftrefs Ded !'* 3 
 
 The iieeting months foon roll about; 
 Time came when murder all mufl out. 710 
 
 Zoe for fear of the old man 
 Into the army quickly ran. 
 And fav'd the flitting of his nofe 
 By timely changing of his clothes. 
 
 Thus whilft w^e Glory's didates fliun 7 15 
 
 Into the fnares of Vice we run ; 
 And he that fhould his country fervc, 
 And beauty by his worth deferve. 
 In female foftnefs wanton ftays, 
 And what he fnould adore betrays. 720
 
 14* ART OF LOVE. 
 
 PART VI. 
 
 JbuT now, O happy Youth ! thy prize is fouiulj 
 
 And all thy wifhes with fuccefs are crown'd. 
 
 Not lo Pagans when Apollo is prais'd, 
 
 Not trophies to victorious Grecians rais'd, 
 
 Not acclamations of exalted Rome, 725 
 
 To welcome Peace with her Auguftus home. 
 
 Can more delight a brave and gen'rous mind 
 
 1'han It muft you to fee a beauty kind. 
 
 The bays to me with gratitude you '11 give, 
 
 Like Hefiod and like Homer make me live. 730 
 
 Thus Pelops on triumphant chariot brought 
 
 Hippodamy, with his life's danger bought ; 
 
 Thus profp'rous Jafon, rich with Golden Fleece, 
 
 On Argos' vocal timber fail'd for Greece. 
 
 But ftay, fond Youth ! the danger is not pafl ; 735 
 You 're not arriv'd in port nor anchor caft. 
 From you my heart may ftill more bays deferve^ 
 If what by me you gain'd by me you fliall preferve. 
 Nor than the conqucft is the glory lefs 
 To fix the throne on that which you poflefs. 740 
 Now, Erato ! di vinefl, fofteft, Mufe ! 
 Whofe name and office both do Love infufe, 
 Afiifl my great defign. If Venus' fon, 
 That vagabond ! would from his mother run,
 
 } 
 
 ART OF LOVE. I43 
 
 And then with fearing wings and body light 745 
 Thro' the vaft world's extent would take his flight. 
 By artful bonds let me fecure his flay, 
 And make his univerfal pow'r obey. 
 
 Whilft I my art would thus improve. 
 And fondly thought to flrackle Love, 750 
 
 Two neighbours that were Handing by, 
 Tormented both with jealoufy, 
 Told me it was in vain to try : 
 When one began his tale, as thus; 
 
 " Perhaps you 've heard of Dasdalus, 755 
 
 *' When Minos would have made him (lay 
 *' How thro' the clouds he found his way. 
 " He was a workman wife and good; 
 *' Building was what he underftood. 
 *' Like to the houfe where we adl plays 760 
 
 *' He made a turning winding maze, 
 *' Fitting to harbour a6ls of fin, 
 *' And put a whore and baftard in. 
 
 " I 've done your work ; and now my trufl is, 
 *' Good Sir! that you will do rne juflice. 765 
 
 ** ' Tis true I hither fled for murther ; 
 *' Let my misfortunes go no further : 
 •' Some end all punifhments ftiould have. 
 '* Birth to the wretch my country gave; 
 " Let it afford me now a grave. 7 70 
 
 •' Difmifs my fon ; at Icail, if rather 
 '' You 'd keep the boy, difmifs his father." 
 
 I
 
 144 AilT OF LOVE. 
 
 This he might fay, and more, or fo ; 
 
 But Minos would not let him go. 
 
 At this he was enrag'd, and cry'd, 775 
 
 *' It is in danger wit is try'd : 
 
 *' Minos pofielVes earth and fea, 
 
 *' The iky and air are left for me. 
 
 *' Pardon my fond attempt, great Jove ! 
 
 *' If I approach your feats above : 7 80 
 
 *' It is nccefiity that draws 
 
 *' A new-invented rule for Nature's laws." 
 
 Thus he began. Full many a feather 
 With twine of thread he ilitch'd together : 
 (Abundance more than are enough 785 
 
 To make your wife and mine a muflf. ) 
 Thus he frames wings, and nothing lacks 
 To fi:i the whole but melted wax : 
 That was the work of the young boy, 
 Pleas'd at the fancy of the toy, 79® 
 
 Not gueiTing ere he was much older 
 I le fliould have one upon each fhouldcr. 
 To whom his father ; " Here is the fiiip 
 *' By which we muft from Minos flip. 
 *' Child, follow me juft as I fly on, 795 
 
 *' And keep your eye fix'd on Orion : 
 *' I '11 be your guide ; and never fear, 
 *' Condudced by a father's care. 
 ** The Virgin and Bootes Ihun; 
 " Take heed left you approach the Sun ; 8co 
 
 5
 
 ART OF LOVE. I4J 
 
 *' His flaming; Influence will be felt, 
 
 *' And the diffufive wax will melt. 
 
 *' Thefea by rifing fogs difcovcr ; 
 
 ** O'er that be fare you never hover : 
 
 " It would be difficult to drag 2c s 
 
 ''' Your wetted pinions fhoukl they flag. 
 
 *' Between them both the fky is fair, "> 
 
 *' No winds or hurricanes are there, 5- 
 
 " But you may fan the fleeting air. j 
 
 " Thus fpeaking he with whipcord firings 8lo 
 *' Fallens and then extends the wings; 
 *' And when th' youth is comnlctely dreft, 
 ** Juft: as the eagle from her nePt, 
 *' By gentle flights her eaglet tries 
 '* To dare the fun and mount the flties, S15 
 
 *' The father fo his boy prepares, 
 ** Not without kifs and falling tears. 
 *' In a large plain a rifing height 
 " Gives fome aiTiilance to their flight. 
 *' With a quick fpring and fiutt'ring noife 820 
 
 " They in the flcy their bodies poife. 
 *' Back on his fon the father looks, 
 *' Praifing his fwift and even ftrokes. 
 *• Now dreadlefs with bold crt fupply'd 
 " Ke does on airy billows ride, 
 *' And foar with an ambitious pride. 
 *' Mortals who by the limpid flood 
 ** With patient angle long have flood, 
 
 Volume /. N 
 
 '■■']
 
 146 ART OF LOTE, 
 
 *' On the fmooth water's Ihining face- 
 
 *' See the amazing: creatures pafs, 830 
 
 *' Look up aftonifli'd whilft the reed 
 
 *' Drops from the hand, whofc fenfe is dead. 
 
 *' Roll'd by the wind's impetuous hafte 
 
 *' They Samos now and Naxr-s pafl, 
 
 *' Pares and Deles, blcft abode I 8 jj 
 
 *' And parent of the Ciarian god. 
 
 *' I.chinthus on their right-hand lies, 
 
 *' And fweet Calydne's groves arifc, 
 
 *' And fam'd Afhpala:a's fens 
 
 ** Breed fhoals of fifh in owzy dens : 840 
 
 ** When the unwary hoy, whole jrrowing years 
 
 *' Ne'er knew the worth cf cautious fears, 
 
 *' Mounts an ethereal hill, v/hence he nught fpy 
 
 *' The lofty regions of a brighter llcy : 
 
 *' Far from hi's father's call and aid 845 
 
 *' His wings in glitt'ring fire difplay'd, 
 
 " Whofe ambient heat their plume involves, 
 
 *' And all their liquid handb diiToives. 
 
 *' He fees his loofcn'd pinions drop; 
 
 ' ' On naked arms lies itll his hope. 85 O 
 
 *' From the vail concave precipice lie finds 
 
 ** A fwift deftrudtion finking with the winds. 
 
 *' Beneath him lies a gaping deep, 
 
 *' Whofe womb is equally as lleep. 
 
 *♦ Then, ** Father! father!" he 'd have cry'd ; SsS 
 
 *' Tempcfts the trembling founds divide^
 
 ART OF LOVE-. T47 
 
 *' With difmal fear contracts his breath, 
 
 *•' And the rough wave completes his death. 
 
 " My fon ! my fon !" long D:iight the father cry : 
 
 •' 1 here is no track to feek hira in the Iky. 86g 
 
 *' By fiooting wings his body found 
 
 *' Is cover'd with the ueighb'ring ground. 
 
 "" His :.rt, thq' not fuccefjuil, has its fame, 
 
 *' And the Icarian feas preferve his name.'* 
 
 If men from Mines could efcape, 865 
 
 And into birds transform their ihape, 
 And there was notliing that could hold them, 
 Provided feathers might be fold them, 
 The thought from madiicfs furely fprings 
 To fix a god that is born with wings. 870 
 
 Quoth th' other man, " Sir, if you '11 tarry 
 *' 1 '11 tell you a tale of my boy Harry 
 *' Would make a man afraid to marry. 
 *' This boy docs oft' from paper white 
 " In miniature produce a kite. 875 
 
 ** With tender.hands the wood he bends 
 " On which the body he extends; 
 ** Pafte made of flour with water mix'd 
 *' Is the cement by vuhieh it is fix'd; 
 *' Then fclfiars from tiie maid he '11 borrow, SSq 
 *' With promife of return to-morrow. 
 " With thofq he paper nicely cuts 
 " Which on the fides for wings he puts. 
 
 Ni] 
 
 }
 
 J48 ART OF LOVe* 
 
 *' The tail, that is an elTcntial part, 
 
 *' He manages with equal art, 885 
 
 ** With paper fhreds at diflance ty'd, 
 
 *' As not too near nor yet too wide, 
 
 *' Which he to fitting length extends 
 
 *' Till with a tuft the fabrick ends. 
 
 ** Next packthread of the ev'neft twine, 890 
 
 *' Or fometimes filk, he '11 to it join, "* 
 
 *' Which by the guidance of his hand 
 
 *' Its rife or dovvnfal may command, 
 
 ** Or carry meflengers to fee 
 
 *' If all above in order be : 895 
 
 *' Then wanton zephirs fan it till it rife, 
 
 ** And thro' ethereal rills ploughs up the azure Ikiea, 
 
 " Sometimes in filent (hade of night 
 *' He '11 make it fhine with wondrous light 
 *' By lantern with tranfparent folds 900 
 
 *' Which flaming wax in fafety holds. 
 *' This glitt'ring with myflerious rays 
 *' Does all the neighbourhood amaze : 
 *' Then comes the conj'rer o' th' place 
 *' With legs afquint and crooked face, 905 
 
 *' Who with his fpying pole from far 
 *' Pronounces it a blazing ftar; 
 *' That wheat fhall fall and oats be dear, 
 ** And barley fhall notfpring that year ; 
 *' That murrain fhall infed all kine, 910 
 
 *' And meafles will deftroy the fwine;
 
 ART OF LOVE« 14^ 
 
 " That fair maids' fweetheartsihall fall dead 
 
 *' Before they lofe their maidenhead ; 
 
 ** And widows Ihall be forc'd to tarry 
 
 *' A month at leaft before they marry. 91^ 
 
 ** But whilft the fool his thought enjoys 
 
 *' The whole contrivance was my boy 'a. 
 
 ** Now mark me ; it v/as from fuch iiice things 
 
 ** The poets fram'd out Cupid's v^'ings. 
 
 ** If a child's nature thus can foar, 920 
 
 ** And all this lies within his pow'r, 
 
 ^^ His mother furely can do more. 
 
 *' Pray tell me what is to be done 
 
 *' If file '11 with cuckoldmakers run ? 
 
 *' No watchful care of jealous eye 925 
 
 *' Can hinder 'd efcape Ihe '11 try : 
 
 *' I'he kite will to her carrion fly." 
 
 Where native modelly the mind fecures 
 The hufband has no need of locks and doors ; 
 'i'he fpecious comet fram'd by Jealoufy 
 Will prove delufion all, and all a lie, 93 X 
 
 PART VII. 
 
 Ps OT all the herbs by fage Medea found, 
 Not Marfan drugs, tho' mixt with magick found. 
 Not philtres iludy'd by ThelTalian art, 
 C an fix the mind and coiillancy impart. ^^S 
 
 Niij
 
 IjO ART OF LOVE, 
 
 Could tbefe prevail Jafon had felt their charms, 
 
 Ulyffes ftili had dy'd in Circe's arms. 
 
 Continue lovely if you '11 be belov'd : 
 
 Virtue from virtue's bands is ne'er remov'd. 
 
 Like Nireus beautiful, like Hylas gay, 94© 
 
 By time the blooming outfide will decay. 
 
 See Hyacinth again of form bereft, 
 
 And only thorns upon the rofetree left. 
 
 Tlien lay up (lores of learning and of wit, 
 
 Whofe fame fliallfcorn the Acherontick pit; 945 
 
 And whflft thofe fleeting fhadows> vainly fly, 
 
 Adorn the better part, which cannot die. 
 
 UlyfTes had no magick in his face, 
 But then his eloquence had charming grace, 
 Such as could force itfelf to be belie v'd, 950 
 
 And all the Wat'ry goddcffes deceiv'd ; 
 To whom Calypfo from her widow'd fhore 
 Sends him thcfe fighs, which furious tempefts bore. 
 
 *' Your paffage often I by art delay'd, 
 " Oblig'd you more the more to be betray'd. Cf^^ 
 *' Here you have often on this rolling fand 
 *' Defcrib'd your fcene of war with fiender wand: 
 *' Here is Troy, and this circumfefence its walls; 
 *' Here Simois gently in the ocean falls; 
 " Here lies my camp ; thefe are the fpacious fields 
 " Where to this fword the crafty Dolon yields; 961 
 ** This of Sithonian Rhefus is the tent. — 
 *• On Vi'Ith the pleafing tale your language went.
 
 by the fea ; "1 
 
 you pafs'd with me, > 
 enelope. 97^ J 
 
 ART OF LOVE. Ijr 
 
 *^ 'vVhen a tenth wave did with one flafh deftroy 
 ** The platform of imaginary Troy. 965 
 
 " By fear like this I would enforce your flay, 
 ** To fee what names the waters tofs'd away. 
 *' I took you. caft up helplefs by the fea ; 
 *' Thoufands of happy hours 
 *' No mention made of old Pent 
 *' On adamant our wrongs we all engrave, 
 *' But write our benefits upon the wave. 
 *' Why then be gone, the feas uncertain truft; 
 " As I found you fo may you find them jufl : 
 *' Dying Calypfo muft be left behind, 975 
 
 *' And all your vows be wafted with the wind." 
 Fond are the hopes he fhould be conflant now 
 Who to his tend'reft part had broke his vow. 
 By artful charms the niiftrefs ftrives in vain 
 The loofe inconflant wanderer to gain : 
 Shame is her entrance, and her end is pain. 
 
 PART VIII. 
 
 } 
 
 Indulgence foon takes with a noble mind: 
 
 Who can be harfli that fees another kind? 
 
 Aloft times the greatefl art is to comply 
 
 In granting that which juftice might deny. 98; 
 
 We form our tender plants by foft degrees, 
 
 And fiom a warping fteni laife (lately trees.
 
 } 
 
 I 
 
 1^% ART OF LOVE, 
 
 To cut th' oppofing waves we flrive in vain, 
 
 But if we rife with them and fall again 
 
 The wifh'd-for land with eafe we may attain. 
 
 Such compiaifance will a rough humour bend, 99 1 
 
 And yielding to one failure fave a friend. 
 
 Mildnefs and temper have a force divine 
 
 To make ev'n paiiion with their nature join. 
 
 The iiawk we hate as living ftill in arms, ^()^ 
 
 And wolves afliduous in the fliepherds' harms. 
 
 The fociahle fvvallow has no fears, 
 
 Upon our tow'rs the dove her nefl; prepares, 
 
 And both of them live free from human fnares. 
 
 Far from loud rage and echoing noife of lights loco 
 
 The fofteft I.ove in gentle found delights. 
 
 Smooth mirth, bright fmiles, calm peace, and flowing 
 
 Afc the companions of the Paphian boy ; [i'T' 
 
 Such as w^hen Hytnen firfl his mantle fpread 10C4 
 
 All o'er the facred down which made the bridal bed, 
 
 Thefe blandilbmcnts keep Love upon the wing, 
 
 Kis prefcnce frefli, and always in the fpring ; 
 
 This makes a profpcdl endlefs to the view. 
 
 With light that rifes Hill and flill is new ; 
 
 At your approach find ev'ry thing ferene, 10I0> 
 
 I^ike Paphos honnur'd by the Cyprian queen, 
 
 Who brings along her daughter Harmony, 
 
 With Mufes fprung from Jove and Graces three. 
 
 Birds fliot by you, fifh by your angle caught, 
 
 The Golden Apples from Hcfpcria brouglit, loi^
 
 ART or LOVE. 155 
 
 The tluflilng peach, the fragrant ncdlarlnes, 
 Laid in frefh beds of flow'rs and fcented greens. 
 Fair lilies ftrew'd with bloody mulberries, 
 Or grapes whofe juice made Bacchus reach the ficies, 
 Pvlay oftentimes a grateful prefent make, IC20 
 
 Not for the value but the giver's fake. 
 
 Perhaps fhe may at vacant hours perufe 
 The happy produdl of your eafy Mufe. 
 Far from intrigue and fcandal be your verfe, 
 But praife of virgin modefly rehearfe, IC25 
 
 Maufolus by his confort deify'd, 
 How for Admetus bleft Alceftis dy'd. 
 Since Overbury's Wife * no poets feem 
 T' have chafe a wifer or a nobler theme. 
 
 You 'd help a neighbour, would a friend prefer. 
 Pardon a fervant; let all come from her. 103I 
 
 Thus what you grant if fhe muft recommend 
 'Twill make a mutual gift and double friend. 
 So when pale Want is craving at the door 
 We fend our fav'rite fon to help the poor; ^O^S 
 
 Pleas'd v/ith their grateful pray'rs that he may live, 
 And find what heav'nly pleafure it is to give. 
 Praife all her a61;Ions, think her drefs is fine ; 
 Embroideries with gold, pearl, diamonds, join : 
 Your wealth doesbefl when plac'd on Beauty fhine 
 
 * This poem, fuppofed to have been written for the Earl 
 of Somerfet, is the characler of a good woman, juft the re- 
 verfe of the lady that his friend married. It is printed with 
 his CharaderSj ib'c. and had gone through fixteen editions in,
 
 fjf4 ARTOFLOVEi 
 
 If fhe in tabby v.raves encircled be, lC4t 
 
 I'hink Amphitrite rifcs from the Tea. 
 
 If by her the purpureal velvet is worn, 
 
 Think that fae rifes like the blufh of Morn : 
 
 And when her filks afar from Indus come, IO45 
 
 Wrought in Chinefe or in the PerCan loom. 
 
 Think that file then like Pallas is array'd, 
 
 By whofe myfterious art the wheel was made. 
 
 Each day admire her diff 'rent graceful air 
 
 In which Ihe winds her bright and flowing hair. 1050 
 
 With her when dancing let your genius fly; 
 
 When in her fong the note expires than die. 
 
 If in the autumn when the wafting year 
 Its plenty fhews that foon mull difappear, 
 When fwelllnggrape,and peach with lovely huQ,icj5 
 And pear and apple frelh with fragrant dew, 
 By tempting look and tafte perhaps invite 
 That which we feldohi rule, our appetite; 
 When noxious heat and fadden cold divides 
 The time o'er which bale influence prefides, Io6d 
 Her fev'riili blood Ihould pulfe unufual find, 
 Or vap'rous damps of f])lcen fhould fmk her mind, 
 Then is the time to ftiew a lover's cares; 
 Sometimes enlarge her hopes, contradl her fears; 
 Give the falubrious draughts with your own hand : 
 Periuafion has the force of a command. 1066 
 
 Watch and attend ; then your reward will prove 
 Ift^hea ftie recovers full incrcafe of Love,
 
 ARTOPLOVC. 155 
 
 Fir from tliis Love is haughty priJe, 
 Which ancient fables beft deride ; 1070 
 
 Women imperious, void of fhamc, 
 And carelcfs of their lovers' fame, 
 Who of tyrannick follies boaft, 
 Tormenting him that loves them nioft. 
 
 When Hercules by labours done ICJJ 
 
 Had provM himlelf to be Jove's fon, 
 By peace which he to earth had giv'n 
 Dtierv'd to have his refl in lieav'n, 
 Envy, that ftrives to be unjuft, 
 
 Rcfolv'd to mortify him firft, loSO 
 
 And that he rnould enamour'd be 
 Of a proud jilt call'd Omphale, 
 Who Ihould his hercihip ejpoie 
 By fpinning hemp in women's clothes ; 
 Her mind flie did vouchfafc one day IcSj 
 
 Thus to her lover to difpiay ; 
 
 *' Come, quickly, Sir! off with my Ikin ; 
 *' I'hink you I '11 let a tanner in? 
 *' If you of lions talk or boars 
 
 " You certainly turn out of doors. IC96 
 
 " Your club is abundantly too thick 
 •* For one Ihall move a fiddlellick. 
 *' What fhould you do wich all thofe arrows ? 
 " I will have nothing kill'd but fparrows. 
 *' Heccy, this day you may remember, IC(?5 
 
 " For you fiiall fee a lady's chamber.
 
 Ij6 ART or LOVE. 
 
 «' Let me be rightly underflood ; 
 . *' What 1 intend is for your good. 
 *' In boddice 1 defign to lace ye, 
 *' And fo among my maids I '11 place ye. I ICO 
 
 *' When you 're genteeler grown and thinner 
 *' May be I '11 call you up to dinner. 
 *' With arm? fo brawny, fills fo red, 
 ** You '11 fcrub the rooms or make the bed. 
 " You cann't flicic pins or frizle my hair. i loj 
 
 •' Blefs me ! you 've nothing of an air. 
 *' You '11 ne'er come up to working point; 
 *• Your fingers all feem out of joint. 
 *' Then befides, Heccy, I mull tell ye 
 *' An idle hand has empty belly; II 10 
 
 *' Therefore this morning I '11 begin 
 *' Try how your clumfuiefs will fpin. 
 *' You are my fhadow, do you fee : 
 ** Your hope, your thought, your wilh, all be 
 *' Invented and controil'd by me. 1115 
 
 ** Look up whene'er I laugh ; look down 
 '* With trembling horrour if I frown. 
 *' Say as I fay : fervants cann't lie j 
 *' Your truth is my propriety. 
 
 *' Nay, you lliould be to torture brought 1120 
 
 *' Were I but jealous you tranfgrefl in thought; 
 *' Or if from Jove your fingle wiih fhould crave 
 " The fate of not continuing ftill my Have. 
 
 I
 
 ART OF Lbve. 157 
 
 " There is no lover that is wife 
 << Pretendsto win atcardsor dite ! 1 1 25 
 
 *"Tis for his miilrefs all is throV/n ; 
 " The ill fortune hisj the goyd her own. 
 <' Melanion, whilorii lovely youth, 
 *' Fam'd for his valour and his truth, 
 •' Whom ev'ry beauty did adorn, 1 1^0 
 
 ** Frclh as Aurora's hlufliing morn, 
 " Into the horrid woods h run, 
 *' Where he ne'er fees the ray of fun, 
 ** Nor to his palace dares return, 
 " Where he iot Pfyche's love did burn, II35 
 
 " And found corredlion at her hands 
 " For difobeying juft fcommlnds, 
 " But mull his flient penance do 
 *' For once not buckling: of her fhoe : 
 *' A good exartiple. Child ! fbr you; 
 " Which fhews you v/heh vi^e have our fool 
 " We 've policy enough to rule. 
 *' I hijght have inade y6u iuch a fl'llow 
 " As ftould have carry'd my umbrella, 
 *' Or bore a flambeau by my chair, 1145 
 
 *' And bad the niob not cbme too he?.r; 
 '* Or lay the cloth, or wait at table ; 
 ** Nay, been a helper in the it:?.bl'j. 
 
 *' To my commands cbedifence pay 
 ** At dead of night or break of day. 1 1 j r 
 
 • /' Imji; I. O 
 
 II40J
 
 158 ART OF LOVE. 
 
 ** Speed Is your province : if it is I 
 
 *' Tiiat bid you run you ought to fly. 
 
 *' He that I^ove's nimble paflion feels 
 
 •' Will foon outftrip my chariot-wheels: 
 
 *' Thro' Dogilar's heat he '11 tripping go, Ilj5 
 
 " Nor leaves he print upon the fnow : 
 
 *' The wind itfelf to him is flow. 
 
 •' He that in Cupid's wars would fight 
 
 *' Grief, winter, dirty roads, and night, 
 
 *' A bed of earth midil fhow'rs of rain, I] 
 
 *' After no fupper, are his gain. 
 
 *' Bright Phccbus took Admetus' pay, 
 
 *' And in a little cottage lay : 
 
 *' All this he did for fear of Jove ; 
 
 *' And who would not do more for Love? il 
 
 •' If entrance is by locks deny'd, 
 
 *' Then thro' the roof or window Aide. 
 
 *' I.eandcr each night fwam the feas 
 
 ** That he might thereby Hero pleafe : 
 
 *' Perhaps I may be pleas'd to fee il 
 
 *' Your life in danger when for me. 
 
 " You '11 find my fervants in a row, 
 
 *' Remember then you make ytiur bow, 
 
 *' For they are your fnperiours now. 
 
 * ' No matter if you do engage 1 1 
 
 *' My porter, woman, fav'rite page, 
 
 *' My dog, my parrot, monkey, black, 
 
 *' Or any thing that dees partake 
 
 *' Of that admittance which you lack. 
 
 } 
 
 }
 
 ART OF LOVE. 1^9 
 
 *' But after al! you mayn't prevail, II 80 
 
 *' And your moft glitt'ring hopes may fail ; 
 *' For Ceres does not always yield 
 *' The crop entrufted to the field. 
 *' Fair gales may bring you to a coafl: 
 ** Where you '11 by hidden rocks be loft. II 85 
 
 *' Love is tenacious of its joys, 
 " Gives fmall reward for great employs, 
 *' But has as many griefs in ftore 
 *' As Ihells by Neptune cafe on fhore, 
 *' As Athos hares, as Hybla bees, II90 
 
 *' Olives on the Palladian trees; 
 ** And when his angry arrows fall 
 *' They 're not found ting'd with common gall. 
 " You 're told f 'm not at home, it is true : 
 " I may be there but not for j'ou, 1 1 95 
 
 *' And I may let you fee it too. 
 *' Perhaps I bid you come at night : 
 *' If the door is llmt (lay till it is light. 
 *' Perhaps my maid fliall bid you go, 
 " A thing flie knows you dare not do. 1200 
 
 ** Your rival fnall admiflion gain, 
 *' And laugh to fee his foe in pain. 
 *' All this and more you muil endure 
 " If you from me expert a cure. 
 " 'Tis fitting I fliould fearch the wound 1205 
 
 *' Left all your danger be not found." 
 
 Oij 
 
 I
 
 l6o ART OF LCVE. 
 
 When eafy fcndnefs meets witJi woman's pride, 
 Nothing Yvhich thut can ?.{k muil be deny'd. 
 He thr.t enjoy 'd the names of great and bnive 
 Is pleas'd to I'cem a female and a Have. laio 
 
 The hero nuniber'd with the gods before 
 Is fo dcbab'das to be man no more. 
 
 PART IX. 
 
 JNo r bv the fail with which you put to fea 
 C?n you where Thjerls fwells cor.dmfted be: 
 To tlie fame port you '11 diiT'rent paiTage find, I 2 15 
 -And fill your fbccts ev'n with contrarious wind. 
 Ycu nurs'd the fawn now grown flag wondrous big, 
 j\nd Hccp beneath the fli:i.de you knew a twig. 
 The bubbling fpring, ipcreasM by Hoods and rain, 
 Holls with im.pctuous ftream and foams the main : 
 So Love augments in juil degrees ; at length 1221 
 I3y nutrimental ilres it gains its ftrength. 
 Daily till midnight let kind looks or fopg, 
 Or tales of l.ove, the pleafino; hours prolong. 
 No wearlnefs upon. their bhfs attends [friends. 
 
 Whom marriage-Vows have rcnder'd more than 
 So Philoniels of oqual mates poffeft 122 7 "1 
 
 With a congenial beat and downy reft >■ 
 
 And care inceffant hover o'er their neft; J 
 
 Hence from their eggs (fmall wot Idswhcnce all things 
 Produce a race by Nature taught to fing, [Spring)
 
 ART OF LOVE. l6t 
 
 Who ne'er to this harmonious air had come 123a 
 Had their parental love itray'd far from home. 
 By a fnort abfence mutual joys increafe : 
 'Tis from the toils of war we value peace. . 1235 
 When Jove a while the fruitful iliow'r reilrains. 
 The field on his return a brighter verdure gains : 
 So let not grief too much difturb thofe hearts 
 Which for a while the war or bus'nels parts. 
 'Twas hard to let Protefilaus go, I24O 
 
 Who did his death by oracles foreknow. 
 Ulyfles made indeed a tedious ftay ; 
 His twenty winters' abfence was delay : 
 But happinefs revives with his return, 
 And Hymen's altars with frefa incenfe burn. 1 245 
 Tales of his Ihip, her web, they both recount, [mount. 
 Pleas'd that their wedlock-faith all dangers could fur- 
 
 Alake thou Ipecd back ; hade to her longing arms ; 
 She may have real or impending harms. 
 There arc no minutes in a lover's fears ; 1 25 O 
 
 They mcafure all their time by months and years. 
 
 Poets are always virtue's friends ; 
 'Tis what their Mufe IHU recommends; 
 But then the fatal track it (hows 
 V/here devious vice thro' trouble goes. '^'^55 
 
 They tell us how a hufband's care 
 Negledled leaves a wife too fair 
 In hands of a young fpark call'd Paris, 
 And how the beauteous trull roifcarries. 
 
 Oiij
 
 l6a ART OF LOVr. 
 
 "With kinduefs he receives the youth, iz6(l 
 
 AVhofc modeft looks might promife truth; 
 
 Then gives him opportunity 
 
 To throw the fpccious vizard by. 
 
 The man had things to he adjufted 
 
 With •which the wife fhould not be trufled, I265 
 
 And whilil he gave himftlf the loofe 
 
 Left her nt home to keep the houfe. 
 
 "\^'hen Helen faw his back was turn'd 
 The devil a bit the gipfy niourn'd. 
 Says flic, " ' Tis his fault to be gene; 1270 
 
 *' It Iha' n't be mine to lie alone. 
 * ' A vacant pillow is fuch a jeft, 
 •' That with it I could never refl. 
 *' He ne'er ccnndcr'd his own danger 
 *' To leave me with a handfome ftranger. 1275 
 
 *' Wolves would give good account of iheep 
 " Left to their vigilance to keen. 
 *' Pray who, except it were geefe or widgeons, 
 *' Would hire a hawk to guai d tlieir pigeons? 
 *' Suppnfing then it might be faid ia3o 
 
 *' That Tvlenelaus now were dc:\c\j 
 *' A pretty ligure I fliould make 
 ** To go in mourning for his fake ! 
 ** She that in widow's garb appears, 
 " Efpecially when at my years, laS^' 
 
 *' ?\^ay feem to be at her laft pray'rs. 
 
 "1
 
 ART OF LOVE. tCy 
 
 " But I '11 f^ill have my heart divided 
 
 *' 'Twlxt one to lofe and ona provided. 
 
 *' Ke that is gone is gone : lefs ferir 
 
 " Of wanting him that I have here." 1290 
 
 The fequei was the fire of Troy, 
 Erought to de{lru(5i:iori by this boy. 
 
 They tell us how a wife prcvok'dj 
 And to a brutifh hufband yok'd, 
 Who by diitrailing pafiion led 1295 
 
 Scorns all her charms and flies her bed, 
 When on her rival file has feiz'd 
 Seem; wijh a fecret horrcur pleaa'd: 
 They then defcrihe her like fome boar 
 Plunginghia tufic in maftiff's gute; 13CQ 
 
 Or lionels, vvhofe raviflx'd whclp 
 Roars for his mother's fn? ious help ; 
 Or baClhk when rous'd, whofe breath, - 
 Teeti;, fling, snd eyebalh, all are death : 
 Like franticko ftruck by magick 1 od I3C5 
 
 Of fome defpis'd avenging gcd. 
 Make her t'-t; 0' blood for vengeance rim, 
 I -ike Progne facrince her fon ; 
 And like Me;;ea dirt thofc fires 
 By which Creiifa's gh/'Ti expires ; I^IO 
 
 Then let her with exalted rage 
 Her grief with the fame crimes aiTuage: 
 To heighten and improve the curfc, 
 Eecaufe he is bad they make her wcrfe.
 
 1320 t 
 
 164 ART OF LOVE. 
 
 So Tynds-rlsdifTolves In tears 13^5 
 
 When firft fhe of Chryfeis hears; 
 
 But when Lyrncfiis captive is led^ 
 
 And ravilh'd to defile her bed, 
 
 Her patience lefiens by degrees ; 
 
 But when at laft fhe Priameisfees, 
 
 PvCvenge does to >Egyfthu3 fly for eafe ; 
 
 In his adult'rous arms does plots difdofe 
 
 Which fill Mycenae with flupcndous woes, 
 
 And parricide and hell around her throws. 
 
 Ye heav'nly Pow'rs! the female truth preferve, 
 And let it not from native goodnefs fwerve; 132,6 
 And let no wanton toys become the caufe 
 Why men fhould break Hymen's eternal laws ; 
 But let fuch fables and fuch crimes remain 
 Only as fiif^ions of the poet's brain, ^330 
 
 Yet marks fet up to ftiun thofe dang'rouS flaelves 
 On which deprav'd mankind might wreck themfelves. 
 
 PARTX. 
 
 At firll the flar?, the air, the earth, and deep, 
 Lay all confus'd in one unordcr'd heap, 
 Till Love eternnl did each being ft;rlke ^3jS 
 
 With voice divine to march and feck its like : 
 Then feeds of heav'ns, then air of vap'rous found, 
 Then fertile earth circled with waters round. 
 On which the bird, the beaft, the lifli, might move. 
 All centred in that univerfal Love ; 134©
 
 ART or LOVE. 165 
 
 Then m^n %vas fram'd with foul of gadlike ray, 
 And had a nobler fliare of love than tiity : 
 To him was woman, crown'd with virtue, giv'n, 
 The mcR ininiediate work and care of Heav'n. 
 
 Whilfc thus my darlin;^ thoughts in raptures fung, 
 Apollo to Ti:y fight in vificn fprur;g : 134^ 
 
 His lyre with gr.ldcn ftring? Lis touch comraands; . . 
 And wreaths of laurel ilouriih in his hands. 
 Says he, " You Bard that of Love's precepts treat, ' 
 *' Your art at Delphi you will hcit complete. 13 (;Q 
 *' There isa flicrt maxim, prais'd when uuderftood^ 
 '* Ufcfal in pracitic!!, and divinely good; 
 " Let each ma;i know himfelf; ftrive to excel : 
 *' The plcafure cf the blefl is doir.g well. 
 
 *' 'Tis wifdorn to difplay the rulinj? grace: 1355 
 ** Some nnen are happy in a charmlnjr face ; 
 *' Know it, but be not vain : fome manly fhow 
 " By the exploded gun and nerTcus bow. 
 " There htthem prove theirlkill; peihapsfome heart 
 *' May find^that ev'ry fiiot is Cupid's dart. 1363 
 
 *' The prudent lover, if his talent lies 
 *' IT).: eloquence, e'nt talkative but wjfe, 
 *' So mixes xvords delicious to the ear, 
 *' That ail niufl be perfuaded who can hear. 
 " He that caBfinglet him WTiti\pieafing- found, I365 
 " Tho' it is an air that is not rf.crtal, wound. 
 *' Lfit not ?. poet my own art refufe : 
 " I 'il come, and bring afiiilance to hii iVJufe."
 
 l66 ART OF LOVE. 
 
 But never by ill means your fortune pufh, 
 Nor raife your credit by another's blufli : 13 7© 
 
 The fecret rites of Ceres none profane. 
 Nor tell what gods in Samothracia reign. 
 'Tis virtue by grave filence to conceal 
 What talk without difcretion would reveal. 
 For fault like this now Tantalus does lie ^375 
 
 In midft of fruits and water flarv'd and dry : 
 But Cytherea's modefly requires 
 Moft care to cover all her lambent fires. 
 , Love has a pleafing turn, makes that feem beft 
 Of which our lawful wilhes are poffcft. 1 3 So 
 
 Andromeda, of Lybic hue and blood, 
 Was chain'd a prey to monflers of the flood : 
 Wing'd Perfeus faw her beauty thro' that cloud. 
 Andromache had large maieftick charms. 
 Therefore was iittefl grace to godlike Hedlor'sarms. 
 Beauties in fmaller airs bear like commands, 1386 
 And wondrous magick ads by flend'reft wands. 
 I, ike Cybele fome bear a mother's fvvay, 
 Whilft infant gods and heroines obey. 
 Son>e rule like ftars by guidance of their eyes, 1390 
 And otliers pleafe when like Minerva wife. 
 Love will from heav'n, art, nature, fancy, raifc 
 Something that may exalt its confort's praife. 
 
 There will be little jealoufies 
 By which Love's art its fubjedls tries. 1395 
 
 They think it languifhes with reft, 
 But rifes like the palm oppreft : 
 
 J
 
 ART OF LOVE, s6f 
 
 And as too much profpcrity 
 
 Often makes way for luxury, 
 
 Till we by turn of fortune taught I400 
 
 Have wifdom by experience bought; 
 
 So when the hoary afhes grow 
 
 Around Love's coals it is time to blow; 
 
 And then its craftinefs is faown 
 
 To raife your cares to hide its own, I40J 
 
 And have you by a rival crofl, 
 
 Only in hopes you may n't be loft. 
 
 Sometimes they fay that you are faulty. 
 
 And that they know where you were naughty: 
 
 And then perhaps your eyes they 'd tear, 1410 ' 
 
 Or elfe dilacerate your hair. 
 
 Not fo much for revenge as fear. 
 
 But fne perhaps too far may run, 
 
 And do what fne would have you fliun, 
 
 Of which there is a poetick ftory I415 
 
 That if you pleafe \ 'II lay before you. 
 
 Old Juno made her Jove comply 
 For fear, not alking when or why. 
 Unto a certain fort of matter, 
 
 Marrying her fon unto his daughter ; I420 
 
 And fo to bed the couple went, 
 Not with their own but friends' confent. 
 This Vulcan was a fmith they tell us 
 That firil invented tongs and bellows; 
 For breath and fingers did their works, 14^5 
 
 {Wq 'd fingers long before we 'd fcrks) 
 
 I
 
 ^6"8 'At.t Of LOVE. 
 
 Vhlch made lils hands, both hard and brawny, 
 
 When wafh'd of colour bfange-tawriy. 
 
 His whole corr;pleiion v/d=i a fallow, 
 
 Where black had not dcilroy'd the yellow. 1430 
 
 One foot was clump'di which was the ftronger, 
 
 T'other fpinyj tho' much longer; 
 
 So both to the pn^portiOh come 
 
 Of the forefinger and the thumb. 
 
 In fliort, the whole of him was nafty, 14.^5 
 
 Illnatur'd, vain, imperious, hafty. 
 
 Deformity alike took place 
 
 Ecth in his manners and his face. 
 
 Venus h.id perfed Ihape and flze. 
 
 But then Ihe was not ovtrwife; I440 
 
 For fomctimes flit her knee is crimping, 
 
 To im.itate th' old man in limping ; 
 
 Sometimes his dirty paws flie fcorns, 
 
 Whilfl her fair fingers fliew his horns. 
 
 But Mars, rhebuUy of the place, is 1445 
 
 'J'he chicfeft fpark in her good graces. 
 
 At firfl they 're fay, at laft grow bolder, 
 
 And conjugal aflccllion colder. 
 
 They car'd not what was faid or done. 
 
 Till Impudence dtfy'd the Sun. 1450 
 
 Vulcan was told of this. Quoth he, 
 *' Is there fuch roguery? 1 'il fee." 
 He then an iron net prepaf'd, 
 Which he to the bed's tcfter rear^L 
 I
 
 ART or L6V6, l6~9 
 
 Which when a pulley gaVe a fnap I45 5 
 
 Would fall and make a cuckold's trap. 
 
 All thole he plac'd in the bcft room, 
 
 Then feign'd that he muft go from home ; 
 
 For he at Lemnos forges had, 
 
 And none but he to mind the trade. I460 
 
 Love was too eager to bevvare 
 Of falling into any fnare. 
 They went to bed, and fo Were caught, 
 And then they of repentance thought. 
 The fliow being ready to begin 14 6 J 
 
 Vulcan would call his neighbours in, 
 Jove fhould be there, that does make bold 
 With Juno, that notorious fcold ; 
 Neptune, firfl bargeman on the water ; 
 .Thetis, the oyfterwoman's daughter ; 1470 
 
 Pluto, that chimney-fweeping iloven; 
 With Proferpine hot from her oven ; 
 And Mercury, that is iharp and cunning 
 In flealing cuftoms and in running ; 
 And By the midwife, tho' a virgin; 1475 
 
 And ^fcidapius the furgeon; 
 Apollo, who might be phyfician, 
 Or ferve them elfe far a mufician; 
 This piper Pan to play her up; 
 
 And Bacchus with his chirping cup; I480 
 
 And Hercules Ihould bring his club in 
 To give the ro^ue a Iwfty drubbing;
 
 ,170 ART OF LOVB, 
 
 And all the Cupids fliould be by 
 To fee their mother's infamy. 
 
 OneMomuscry'd, " You 're hugely pleas'd; I485 
 *' I hope your mind will foon be eas'd ; 
 *' For when fo publickly you find it 
 ^* People you know will little niind it : 
 *' They love to tell what no one knows, 
 ** And they themfelvcs only fuppofe. I49O 
 
 *' Not ev'ry hulband can afford 
 " To be a cuckold on record ; 
 " Nor Ihould he be a cuckold ftyl'd 
 " That once or fo has been beguil'd, 
 *' Unlefs he makes it demonftration, 1495 
 
 *' Then puts it in fome proclamation, 
 *' With gen'ral voice of all the nation." 
 
 } 
 
 And for his key in left fide-pocket gropping, 
 
 *' Cries, *' It is but op'ning of that door 15CO 
 
 * ' To prove myfelf a cuckold, her a whore." 
 
 They all defir'd his leave that they might go ; 
 They were not curious of fo vile a fliow : 
 J*erfons conccrn'd might one another fee, 
 And tliey 'd believe fince witncfles were tliree : rccj 
 And they, thus prov'd to be fuch fooliili elves, 
 flight hear, try, j udge, and e'en condemn jthcmfclves, 
 Difcretion covers that which it would blame, 
 llncil fome fecret blufh and hidden fiiame 
 Have ciu'd the fault'vvithoiit the noifc of Fame 
 
 }
 
 ART OF LOVE. 171 
 
 The work is done : and now let Ovid have I511 
 Some gratitude attending on his grave ; 
 Th' afpiring palm, the verdant laurel, flrow, 
 And fweets of myrtle wreaths around it throw. 
 In phyfick's art as Podalirius Ikill'd, I5 15 
 
 Neflor in court, Achilles in the field. 
 As Ajax had in fingle comhat force, 
 And as Automedon beft rul'd the horfe, 
 As Calchas vers'd in prophecies from Jove, 
 So Ovid has the maflerfhip of Love. 1510 
 
 The poet's honour will be much the lefs 
 Than that which by his means you may poflefs 
 In choice of Beauty's lading happinefs : 
 Eut when the Amazonian quits the field, 
 Let this be wrote on the triumphant Ihield, 
 That fhe by Ovid's Art was brought to 
 
 When Ovid's thoughts in Britilh flyle you fee, 
 Which may n't fo founding as the Roman be, 
 Yet then admittance grant : it is fame to me. 
 
 PART XL 
 
 I 
 
 u, -I 
 
 lield, 1525 > 
 3 yield. J 
 'fee,l 
 
 • 1 
 
 1 v/Ho the art of war to Danaans gave 153^ 
 
 Will make Penthefilea's force as brave. 
 That both becoming glorious to the fight 
 With equal arms may hold a dubious Tight. 
 
 I
 
 1"]% ART OF LOVE. 
 
 WhdX tho' it \^-as Vulcan fram'd Acliilles' fhield ? 
 
 My Amazonian darts fliall niake him yield. 1535 
 
 A myrtle crp\vn with viiftary attends 
 
 Thofe whq sre Cupid's and Dione's friends. 
 
 AVhep Beauty hrofo many arms in ftcre, 
 
 (Some men will fay) why ihould ycu give it more ? 
 
 Tell me who, when Penelope appears 1540 
 
 "With conftanty maintain'd for tv/enty years, 
 
 Who can t^e fair Laodamia fee . 
 
 In her lord's arms expire as well as he, 
 
 Ciin view Alceftis, who with joy removes 
 
 From earth inflead of him flie fo mucli loves, I545 
 
 Can hear of bright Hvadne, who in fires 
 
 F<?r her lov'd Capaneus prcpar'd expires. 
 
 When Virtue has:itfclf a feiuale name ? 
 
 So Truth, fo Goadnefs, Piety, and Fame, 
 
 Would head ilrong fight, and would not conquer'd he, 
 
 Or fioop tc fa mv;ch generofity. 15 5 1 
 
 'Tis np.t with fwordy cr fire, or flrcngth of bow, 
 That female warriours to their battle go : 
 They have no flratagem or fuhtle/wile ; 
 Their native innoccpc? can ne'er beguile. "i^SSS 
 
 The fox's various maze, bear's cruel den, 
 They leave to fiercencfs and the craft of men. 
 'Twas Jafon that transferr'd his broken vows 
 From kind Medea to another fpoufe : 
 Thefeus left Gnofi'is on the fands to be 15 60 
 
 Prey to the bjrds or nionflers of the fca :
 
 ART OF LOVE. 17^ 
 
 Demophoon, nine times recall'd, forbore 
 
 Return, and let his Phillis name the fliore : 
 
 ^neas wreck'd, and hofpitably us'd, 
 
 Fam'd for his piety, yet ftill refus'd ^s(>S 
 
 To Itay where lov'd, but left the dang'rous fword 
 
 By which fhe dy'd to whom he broke his word. 
 
 Piteous examples ! worthy better fate, 
 
 If my inflrudlions had not come too late ; 
 
 For then their art and prudence had retain'd 15 70 
 
 What firft vidlorioiis rays of Beauty gain'd. 
 
 Whiift thus 1 thought, not without grief to find 
 
 Defencelefs Virtue meet with fate unkind, 
 
 Bright Cytherea's facred voice did reach 
 
 My tingling ears, and thus Ihe bad me teach : 15 7.C 
 
 ' ' What had the harmlefs maid deferv'd from thee ? 
 *' Thou haft giv'n weapons to her enemy ; 
 *' Whiift in the field flie muft defencelefs ftand, 
 *' V/ith want of fkiii and more unable hand. 
 *' Stefichorus, who v;ould no fubjecl find I j 80 
 
 ** But harm to maids was by the gods ftruck blind ; 
 ^ *' But when his fong did with their glories rife 
 ** He had his ov/n reftor'd to praife their eyes. 
 " Be rul'd by mc, and arms defenfive give ; 
 *' 'Tisby the ladies' favours you muft live." I585 
 
 She then one myftick leaf with berries four 
 (Pluck'dfrom her myrtle crown) bad me withfpeed 
 devour. 
 
 PiJj
 
 J74 ART GF LOVE, 
 
 I find the pow'r infplr'd tliro' purer Iky; 
 My breath cliiToI vts in verio to xnake young lovers die* 
 Here Modcfly und Innocence fliall learn 15 9Q 
 
 Howr they may triuUi iVcw fiatt-ring fpeech difccrn. 
 But come witli fpeed ; hie not the flying day : "1 
 See haw the crowding waves rcU down av.-ay, > 
 And neither tho' at Lcvc'si command will fiay. J 
 Tliefe waves andtime we never can recall, i j 95 
 But as the minutes paf^ n:;u{l lofe them all; 
 Nor like what is pall are days focceeding good, 
 But Hide. with warmth decay'd and thicker blood. 
 Flora, althp'' a goddefs, yet does fear '599 
 
 The change that grows with the declining year; 
 "VVhilil glill'ring inakes by calling off their fein 
 rrtfli courage gain, and life renew'd begin : 
 The eagles call their bills, the itD.g its horn ; 
 But Deauty to that bleliing js not born. 
 
 Thus Nature prompts its ufe to forward Love, 
 Grac'd by examples cf the pow'rs abo^'•e. 1 6c6 
 
 Endymion picrc'd the cha{?.e Diana's heart, 
 And cool Aurora felt Love's fiery dart. 
 
 PART XII. 
 
 jA person of feme quality 
 
 Happen'd they fay in love to be 1 6 10 
 
 AVith one who held him by delay, 
 
 Would neither fay him No or Ay, 
 
 Kor would file have him jjo his way. 
 
 ]
 
 ART OF LOVE, 175 
 
 This lady thought it beft to fend 
 i'or fome expcrienc'd truily friend, 1615- 
 
 To whom flic might her rr.ind inipart, 
 T' iinchain her own and bind his heart. 
 A tirewoman by occupation, 
 A ufeful and a choice vocation, 
 She faw all, heard all, never idle, 1 620 
 
 Her fingers or her tongue would fiddle, 
 Diverting with a kind of wit, 
 y^iming at all, would fometimes hit, 
 Tho' in her fort of rambling way 
 She many a ferious truth would fay, 1 6 25 
 
 Thus in much talk among the reft 
 The oracle itfelf cxprell : 
 
 *' I 've heard fome cry, Well, I profefs 
 *' Thcreis nothing to be gain'd by drefs I 
 " They might as well fay that a field 163^ 
 
 *' Uncultivated yet would yield 
 '* As good a crop as that which fkill 
 *' With utmoft diligence ihould till : 
 *' Our vintage would be very fine 
 " If nobody faould prune their vine ! i^3S 
 
 *' Good ihape apd air, it is confefl, 
 " Is giv'n to fuch as Heav'n has bleil ; 
 *' But all folks have not the fame graces, 
 *' There is difliniSlicn in our faces : 
 " There was a time I 'd not repine 1640 
 
 " for any thing amifs in mine,
 
 1*6 ART OF LOVEi 
 
 *' Which, tho' I fay it, ftill feems fair, 
 
 *' Thanks to my art as well as care I 
 
 *' Our grandmothers they tell us wore 
 
 •' Their fai-dingale and their banqlore, 1^45 
 
 " Their pinner?, forehead cloth, and ruff, 
 
 *' Content with their own cloth and fluff, 
 
 ** V/ith hats upon their pates like hives, 
 
 " Things might become fuch foldiers' v/ives, 
 
 " Thought their ov/n faces fiill would laft them 
 
 " In the fame mould which Nature caft them : 
 
 " Dark paper buildings then flood thick, 16^2 
 
 " No palaces of flonc or brick; 
 
 *' And then, alas! were no Exchanges ; 
 
 *' But fee how time and falliion changes! 1655 
 
 " I hate old things and age. I fee, 
 
 " Thank Heav"'n ! times good enough for me. 
 
 *' Your gcldfmlths now are mighty neat; 
 
 " I love the air of Lombard Street. 
 
 *' Whate'er a fliip from India brings, l66c 
 
 " Pearls, diamonds, ulks, are pretty things : 
 
 " The cabinet, the fcreen, the fan, 
 
 " Pleafe me extrem.ely if Japan : 
 
 *' And what aficcls me fliil the more, 
 
 *' They had none of them heretofore. 1665 
 
 *' When you 're unmarry'd never load ye 
 
 ** With jev/els; they may incommode ye: 
 
 ** l!overs may n't dare approach ; but moilly 
 
 ** They '11 fear when ijaarry'd you '11 be coftly.
 
 ART or LCVE. 177 
 
 '* Fine rings and lockets befi; are try'd 1670 
 
 " When giv'n to you 35 a bride : 
 
 '.' Iq the mesfitime you fh^w your fcnfe 
 
 "By going fine at fmaliexpenfe. 
 
 *' Sometimes lay down in fav'rite curl ; 1 6 75 
 
 *' All muft thro' twenty fiddlings pafs, 
 
 ** Wbich none can teach you but your glafs : 
 
 *' vSonietimesthey mull difhevell'd lie 
 
 ** On neck of pqlifh'd ivory; 
 
 *' Sometimes with llrings of pearl they 're fix'd, 
 
 " And the united beauty mix'd ; 1681 
 
 *' Or when you won't their grace unfold, 
 
 *' Secure them' with u bar of gold. 
 
 '* Humour and f;;iliions change each day; -y 
 
 *' Not birds in foreits, fiow'rs in May, l6S3> 
 
 ** Would fooner number \i be thiin they. J 
 
 ** There is a fo.rt qf negligence 
 
 •' Which fome efleemas excellence, 
 
 *' Your art wjth fo much art to hide 
 
 *' That nothing of it be defcry'd; 1690 
 
 *' To make your garelefs trefies flow 
 
 " With fo much air that none flanuld know 
 
 *' Whether they had been comb'd or no : 
 
 *' But in this lb negleiHed.hiiir 
 
 ** Many a heart has found its fnare. 1695 
 
 *' Nature indeed has kindly fent 
 
 *< U& inznj things, more we invent ;
 
 17^ ART OF LOVE, 
 
 *' Little enough, as I may fay, 
 
 *' To keep our beauty from decay. 
 
 ** As leaves that with fierce winds engage I7CO 
 
 *' Our curling trcfles fall with age : 
 
 *' But then by German herbs we find 
 
 " Colour for locks to gray inclin'd. 
 
 ** Sometimes we purchafe hair ; and why ? 
 
 *' Is not all that our own we buy ? 1705 
 
 *' You buy it publickly, fay they : 
 
 *' Why tell us that when we do n't pay. 
 
 ** Of French pomades the Town is full . 
 
 " Praife Heav'n no want of Spanifh wool ! 
 
 *' Let them look fluftit, let them look dead, 1710 
 
 *' That cann't afford the white and red. 
 
 ** In Covent-Garden you buy pofies, 
 
 *' There we our lilies and our rofes. 
 
 *' M^'ho would a charming eyebrow lack 
 
 *' Who can get any thing that is black ? 1715 
 
 *' Let not thefe boxes open lie ; 
 
 *' Some folks are too much giv'n to pry. 
 
 *• Art not difiembl'd would difgrace 
 
 " The purchas'd beauties of our face: 
 
 * '. This if fuch perfons fliould difcover 1 7 20 
 
 " 'Twould rather lofe than gain a lover. 
 
 ** Who is there now but underflands 
 
 *' Searcloths to flea the face or hands ? 
 
 *' Tho' the idea is not fo taking, 
 
 " And the Ikin feems but odd in making, 1725
 
 ART or LOVE. 179 
 
 *' Yet when It will with frefii luftre fliine, 
 
 *' Her fpark will tell you it is divine. 
 
 *' That pidure there your eye does ftrike 
 
 *' It is the work of great Van Dyke, 
 
 *' Which by a Roman would be fainted, 1 73® 
 
 ** What was it but canvafs till it was painted ? 
 
 *• There is leveral things fhould not be known ; 
 
 *' O'er thcfe there is a curtain drawn 
 
 *' Till it is their feafon to be fhov.'n. 
 
 *' Your door on fit occafions keep 1 735 
 
 " Fall fliut : who knows but you 're aflecp ? 
 
 *' When our teeth, colour, hair, and eyes, 
 
 " And what elfe at the toilet Ues, 
 
 *' Are all put on wc 're faid to rife. 
 
 " There was a lady whom I knew, 1 740 
 
 " That mufl be namelefs 'caufe it is true, 
 *' Who had the difmalleft mifchance 
 " I 'vc heard of fince I was in France : 
 •' I do protefl the thoughts of it 
 *' Have almofl; put me in a fit. 1 745 
 
 *' Old I^ady Mean well's chamber door, 
 ** Jufl on the flairs of the firfl floor, 
 *' Stood open ; and pray who fhould come 
 *' But Knowall flouncing in the room f 
 ** No fingle hair upon her head ^75*^ 
 
 *' 1 thought file would have fell dov/n dead. 
 " At laft Ihe found a cap cf hair, 
 *' \Vhich Ihe put on with fuch an air. 
 
 } 
 
 I
 
 loO ART OF LOVE, 
 
 *' That ev'ry lock was out of place, 
 
 " And all hung dangling down her face, 1 755 
 
 " I would not mortify one fo, 
 
 " Except fome twenty that T know. 
 
 "Her carelaiTnels and iier defect 
 
 *' Were laid to Miftrefs Prue'^ negleA, 
 
 " And much illnature was betray 'd 1760 
 
 *' By noife and fcolding with the maid. 
 
 " The young look on fuch things as (luff, 
 *' Thinking their bloom has art enough. 
 *' When fmooth we matter it not at all ; 
 *• 'Tis when the ThAiiies is rough we fquall. 176^ 
 '* Eut whatever it is may be prctetldcd 
 *' No face or fliape but may be mended. 
 *' All have our faults, and mufi abide them ; 
 *' We therefore Iliould take care to hide them. 
 *' You 're Hiort ; fit (lil), you '11 taller feem ; 1 7 70 
 " Yon 're only ihorter froln the flem. 
 *' By loofcr garb your leahnefs is conceal'd; 
 " By want of flays the groiTfer fliaJJe is reveal'd. 
 " The more the blemifhea upon the feet, 
 *' The greater care the lace and Ihncs be neat, r 7 75 
 ' '• Some backs and lides are Wav'd like billows ; 
 " Thcfo holes are bell made up with pillows. 
 *' Thick fingers always fliould command 
 *' Without the ftretchin;^^ out the hand. 
 " Who has bad teeth inould never fee 1780 
 
 *' A play unkfs a ti'agedy ;
 
 ART OF I.OVE. l8l 
 
 *' For we can teach you how to fimper, 
 
 ** And when it is proper you fhould whimper. 
 
 ** Think that your grace and wit is now 
 
 *' Not in your laughing at a thing, but how. 1 7 85 
 
 *' Let room for fomethlng more than breath 
 
 ** Juft fhew the ends of milkwhite teeth. 
 
 '* There is ajV n fcai quoi is found 
 
 *' In a foft fmooth affected found; 
 
 ♦* But there is a fhrieking crying tone 1793 
 
 " Which I ne'er lik'd when all is done ; 
 
 *' And there are fome who laugh like men, 
 
 ** Ai ne'er to fhut their mouths again; 
 
 *' So very loud and mal piopos^ 
 
 *' They feem like hautboys to a fhow. ' 7 9 J 
 
 ** But now for the reverfe. 'Tis Ikill 
 
 ** To let your tears flow when you will : 
 
 " It is of ufe when people die, 
 
 *' Or elle to have the fplcen, and cry 
 
 ** Becaufe you have no reafon why. i8co 
 
 *• Now for your talk.' — Come, let me fee : 
 *' Here lofe your H, here drop your T ; 
 " Defpifc that R; your fpeech is better 
 ** Much for deftroying of one letter. 
 *' Now lifp, and have a fort of pride 18G5 
 
 *' To feem as if your tongue were ty'd; 
 *' This is fuch a becoming fault, 
 " Rather than want it fhould be taught. 
 Volmiis /. Q^ 
 
 }
 
 I 82 ART OF LOVE. 
 
 *' And now that you have learnt to talk 
 ** Pray let me fee if you can walk. ll'io 
 
 *' There is many dancingmafters treat 
 *' Of management of ladies' feet. 
 5' There, is fome their mincing gate have chofe, 
 *' Treading without their heel or toes. 
 *' She that reads TalTo or Malherhe* 1815 
 
 *' Chufes a flep that is fuperbe. 
 *' Some giddy creatures, as if Ihunning 
 *' Something diilik'd, are always running : 
 " Some praace like Frenchwomen, wlio ride, 
 *' As our lifeguard men, all aftride : 1820 
 
 ** But each of thefe have decoration 
 " According to their afFeclation. 
 *' That dance is graceful and will pleafe 
 *' Where ail the m.oticns glide with eafe. 
 • ' We to die Ikilful theatre 1 8 25 
 
 •' This fecming want of art prefer. 
 
 " 'Tis no fmall art to give direction 
 *' How .to fuit i;nots to each completion, 
 *' How fo adorn the bread and head 
 *' With blue, white, cherry, pink, or red. 1850 
 
 ** As the morn rifes, fo that day 
 *' Wear purple, iky-colour, or gray; 
 
 * By the manner in wliicli Taflb ;and MalJierbe are rrren- 
 tioned by Dr King, tliey feem not to have been the moft fa- 
 Ihionable authors of that age. Our Author has tranflated vAut 
 hi ca!!» An a'irairabl6 Ode ol'Malhcrbe.
 
 ART OF LOVE. 16^ 
 
 '' Your black at Lent, your green in May, 
 
 ■' Your filamot when leaves decay. 
 
 ■' All colours in the fummer fhine : 1 83 5 
 
 " The nymphs fliould ht like gardens fine. 
 
 " It is the farnion nowadays 
 " That alniofl ev'ry lady plays: 
 '• Baflet and piquet grow to be 
 " The fubjed of our comedy : l8^C> 
 
 " But whether we diverfion feek 
 " In thefe, in comet, or in gleek, 
 " Or ombre, where true judgment can 
 " Difclofe the fentiments of man, 
 " Let '3 have a care how we difcover, 1 845 
 
 " Efpecially beforca lover, 
 " Some paliions which we fhould co>Mceal, 
 " But heats of play too oft' i-cN-eul; 
 " For be the matter fmall or great 
 " There is like abhorrence for a cheat. l8jO 
 
 " There is nothing Ipnils a woman's graces ' 
 *' Like peevifhnefs and making faces; 
 *' Then angry words and rude difcourie 
 " You may be fure becomes them worfe. 
 " With hopes of gain when we 're bcftt 1S55 
 
 *' We do too commonly forget 
 *' Such guards as fcreen us from thoie eyes 
 " Which may obferve us and defpifc. 
 **^ I 'd burn the cards rather than know 
 " Of any of my friends did fo. 1 860
 
 1865 I 
 
 184 ARTOFXOVSo 
 
 *' I 've heard of fome fuch things, but I, 
 ** Thanks to my ftars ! was never by. 
 
 *' Thus we may pafs our time : the men 
 ** A thoufand ways divert their fpleen 
 •* Whilft: we fit j>teviflily within ; 
 *' Hunting, cockingi racing, poking, 
 ** Fuddling, fwiniming, fencing, fmoking; 
 *' And little thinking how poor we 
 *' Muft vent our fcandal o'er our tea. 
 ** I fee no reafon but we may 1 8 70 
 
 *' Be brilk, and eqsally as gay. 
 *' Whene'er our gentlemen would range 
 ^ We '11 take our chariot for the 'Change : 
 •* If they 're difpofing for the play 
 <* We '11 haften to the opera ; 18 75 
 
 ** Or when they '11 luftily caroufc 
 *• We '11 furely to the Indian Houfe ; 
 «* And at fuch coft whilH thus we roam 
 *' For cheapnefs' fake they '11 ftay at home. 
 •' Few wife men's thoughts e'er yet purfu'd 188& 
 «* That which their eyes had never view'd ; 
 *♦ And fo our never being feen 
 ** Is the fame thing as not t' have been, 
 ** Grandeur itfclf and poverty 
 
 *' Were equal if no witncfs by; l88j 
 
 *' And they who always fmg alone 
 *' Can ne'er be prais'd by more than one, 
 ♦* Had Danae been fhut up ftill 
 *' She 'd been a maid againll her will.
 
 ARTOFLOVf.. 18^ 
 
 *' And might have grown prodigious old 1890 
 
 •* And never had her ftory told. 
 
 *' 'Tis fit fair maids fhoiild run a-gadding 
 
 *' To fet the am'rous beaux a-madding. ■ 
 
 *' To many a fheep the wolf has gone 
 
 *' Ere it can neatly feizc 00 one; 1895 
 
 *' And many a partridge 'fcapes away 
 
 *' Before the hawk can pounce its prey :• 
 
 •' And fo if pretty damfcls rove 
 
 •' They Ml find out one perhaps may love, 
 
 *' If they no diligence will fnare, I9CO 
 
 *' And in their drelfing- Rill take care. 
 
 *' The filher baits his hook ail night 
 
 *' In hopes by chance fome eel may bite. 
 
 *' Each with their difF'rent grace appears, 
 
 *' Virgins with blufh, widovi's with tear=, ^9^5 
 
 *' Which gain new hulbands tender-hearted, 
 
 *' To think how fuch a couple parted. 
 
 *' But then there are fome fopnilh btaux 
 
 *' Like us in all things biu their clothes; 
 
 *' That we may feem the more rob'uft, 1910 
 
 ** And fitteft to accoll them firft, 
 
 *' With powder, paint, falfe locks, and hair, 
 
 *' They give thcirtfelves a female air; 
 
 " Who having all their tale by rot, 
 
 '* And harping ftill on the fame note, ^9^S 
 
 " Will tell us that and nothing more 
 
 '' Than wh';.t a thcufajid heard before:
 
 1 86 ART OF LOVE. 
 
 •' Tho' they all marks of Love pretend 
 
 " There is nothing which they lefs intend; 
 
 *' And 'midfl a thoiifand hideous oaths l^tO 
 
 " With jewels falfe and borrow'd clothes, 
 
 *' Our eafmefs may give belief 
 
 " To one that is an arrant thief." 
 
 The fpark was coming ; fhe undreft 
 Scuttles away as if poffeft. ^9'^S 
 
 The Governefs cries, *' Where d' ye run?** 
 *' Why, Madam, I 've but jufl begun." 
 She bawls; the other nothing hears. 
 But leaves her prattling to the chairg» 
 
 Virtue without thefe little arts ^93'^ 
 
 At firfl fubdues, then keeps our hearts; 
 And tho' more gracefully it fliows 
 When it from lovely perfons flows. 
 Yet often goodness moft prevails 
 When beauty in perfedlion fail?. '935 
 
 Tho' ev'ry feature may n't be well, 
 Yet all together may excel. 
 There is nothing but will eafy prove 
 When all the reft is made up by Love. 
 
 PART XIII. 
 
 Virgins Ihould not unlkill'd in mufick be ; I940 
 ¥or what is more like themfelvcs than harpiony ?
 
 ART OF LOVE. tZj 
 
 J.ct not vice ufe It only to betray, 
 As Sirens by their fongs enticie their prey : 
 Let it with fenfe, with voice, and beauty join, 
 Grateful to eyes and ear, and to the mind divine ; I945 
 For there is a double grace when pleafing ftring* 
 Are touch'd by her that more delightful fings. 
 Thus Orpheus did the rage of defcrts quell. 
 And charm'd the monftrous inftruments of hell : 
 Kew walls to Thebes Amphion thus began, I950 
 Whilft to the work officious marble ran: 
 Thus with his harp and voice Arion rode 
 On the mute fifh fafe thro' the rolling flood. 
 
 Nor are the eflays of the female wit 
 Lcfs charming in the verfes they have writ. 1955 
 From ancient ages Love has found the way 
 Its bafliful thoughts by letters to convey, 
 Which fometimes run in fuch engaging drain 
 That pity makes the fair write back again. 
 "What is thus intended fome fmall time delay ; 1 96*? 
 His paflion fcrengthens rather by our flay : 
 Then with a cautious wit your pen withhold, 
 Left a too free expreffion make him bold. 
 Create a mixtui-e 'twixt his hope and fear. 
 And in reproof let tendernefs appear. I96 : 
 
 As he defer ves it give him hope^ of life : 
 A cruel miftrefs makes a froward wife. 
 AiFeA not foreign words : Love will impart 
 A gentle ftylc more excellent than art.
 
 l88 ART OF LOVE. 
 
 Aftrea's * lines flow on with fo much eafe I970 
 
 That flie who writes like them muft fiirely pleafe. 
 Orinda's f works, with courtly graces llor'd, 
 True fenfe in nice txprefllons will afford ; 
 WhilltChudleigh's \ words feraphick thoughts exprefs 
 In lovely grandeur, but without excefs. 1975 
 
 Oh ! had not Beauty parts enough to wound, 
 But it muft pierce us with poetick found, 
 Whilft Phoebus fuffers female powVs to tear 
 Wreaths from his Daphne which they juftly wear ! 
 
 ♦ A name affumed by Mrs. Aphra Bchn, a lady well known 
 in the gay and poetical world in tlie licentious reign of King 
 Charles II. She was autl;orefs of feventeea plays, two volumes 
 of novels, feveral tranr.aticns, and many poems. 
 
 t The poetical name of Mrs. Catharine Philips. She was 
 the daughter of John Fowler merchant, and born in London 
 1631 ; was married to James Philips of the Priory of Cardigan, 
 Efq. about the year i647,anddiedin rieetftreet in the month 
 of June 1664. Ker poems have been feveral times printed. 
 She was alfo the writer of a volume of letters publilhed many 
 years after her death, to Sir Charko Cotterel, entitled Letters 
 from Orinda to Poliarchus, which have been admired. — Mrs. 
 Philips was as much famed for her friendlhip as for her poetry; 
 and had the good fortune to be equally efteemed by the belt 
 poet and tl'.e belt divine of her age. Dr. Jeremy Taylor ad- 
 drefied his Difcourfe on the Nature a;id Effeds of Friendlhip to 
 tliis lady ; and Mr. Cowley has celebrated her memory in aa 
 elegant ode preferved amojigll his works. . 
 
 t This lady was daughter to Rlcliard Lee ofWiiiflade, in 
 the county of Devon, Efq, She was bom in tlie year '165<5, 
 became the wife of Sir George Chudleigh of Aihton, in the 
 f.ime county, Bart, and died Dec. 15th 1 7 10. Her poems were 
 twice printed in her lifetime in one volume 8vd.; the fecond 
 edition in i7op. She alfo publilhed a volume of Effays upon 
 feveral Subjects in Profc and Verfc 1710.
 
 ART OP LOVE'i j8j 
 
 If greater things to lefTer we compare I98CJ 
 
 The fkill of Love is like the art of war. 
 The gen'ral fays, " Let him the horfe command; 
 ** You by that enfign, you that cannon, fland : 
 •* Where danger calls let th' other bring fupplies ;" 
 "With pleafure all obey in hopes to rife. ^9^5 
 
 So if you have a fervant Ikill'd in laws 
 Send him with moving fpeech to plead your caufe. 
 He that has native unaffeded voice 
 In finging what you bid him will rejoice. 
 And wealth as Beauty orders it bellow'd 1 99© 
 
 Would make ev'n mifers in expenfes proud. 
 But they o'er whom Apollo rules have hearts 
 The moft fufceptible of lovers' fmarts, 
 A.ndjike their god fo they feel Cupid's darts. 
 The gods and kings are by their labours prais'd, 
 And they again by them to honour rais'd; 199^ 
 
 For none to Heav'n or majefty expreft 
 Their duty well but in return were bleft : 
 Nor did the mighty Scipio think it fcorn 
 That Ennius, in Calabrian mountains born, 200® 
 His wars, retirements, councils, fhould attend, 
 In all diftingui^'d by the name of Friend. 
 He that for want of worlds to conquer wept 
 Without confulting Homer never flept. 
 The poet's cares ali terminate in fame ; 2005 
 
 As th^y obtain they give a lalling nam©. 
 
 }
 
 190 ART OF LOVE, 
 
 Thus from the dead Lucrece and Cynthia 'rKc, 
 And Berenice's Hair adorns the ikies. 
 The fdcred bard no treach'rous craft difplays, 
 But virtuous adlions crowns with his own bays: 2010 
 Far from ambition and wealth's fordid care, 
 In him good nature and content appear; 
 And far from courts, from ftudious parties free, 
 He fighs forth Laura's charms beneath fonie tree ; 
 Defpairing of the valu'd prize he loves 20T5 
 
 Commits his thong+its to winds and echoing groves'. 
 . F&et^ have quick dcfire and paillon ilrong ; 
 Where once it lights t^ere it continues long : 
 They know that truth is the perpetual band 
 By which the world and heav'n of Love mufl, fiand. 
 'J|he poet's art foftens their tempers fo 2C21 
 
 That manners eafy as their verfcs flow. 
 Oh ! could they but juft retribution find. 
 And as then.felves v;hatthey adore be kind ! * 
 In vain they boaft of their celeftial fire - 2025 
 
 Whilil there remains a heav'n to which rhey cann't 
 Apelles firft brought Venus to our view, [afpirc I 
 With blooming charms and graces ever new, 
 Who elfe unknown to mortals might remain ' ■ 
 Hid in the caverns of h'er native main ; • ' 4030 
 And with the painter now the poets join 
 To make the mother and her boy divine: 
 Therefore attend, and from their mufick learn 
 That which their minds infpir'd could bell difcern.
 
 ART or LOVE. 191 
 
 tittt fee how Sidney then how Cowley mov'd. 
 And with what art it was that Waller lov'd : 2036 
 Forget not Dorfet, in whcfe j^en'rous mind 
 Love, fenie, wit, honoui", ev'ry grace, combin'd : . 
 And if for me you one kind wilh would fpare, 
 Anfwer a poet to his friendly pray'r ; 2040 
 
 Take Stepney's verfe, with cendcur ever bled, 
 For I,ove will there fiill with his afnes reft : 
 There let warm fpice and fragrant odours burn, 
 And everlafting fwcets pcrfurr.e his urn. 
 
 Not that the living Muit is to be fcorn'd ; 2045 
 Britain with equal worth is ftiil adorn'd. 
 See Halifax, where fenfe and honour mixt 
 Upon tli£ nicritP juft reward have fixt ; 
 And read their works who writing in his praife 
 To their own veri'e immortal laurels n.ifc. 2050 
 
 Learn Prior's lines, for they cixii teach you more 
 Than facred Ben or Spenfer did before ; 
 And mark him well that uncouth phyfick's art 
 .Can inthe fofteft tune of wit impart. . 
 See Pafiorella o'er Florello's grave, 
 See Tamerlane make Eajazct his Have, 
 And PhiEora with her ancient vigour rave. 
 Thro''|lapin's nurferies and gardens walk, [talk. 
 And find how nymphs transform'd by am'rous colours 
 Pomona fee with Milton's grandeur rife, ac6o 
 
 Theinoft dehcious fruit of Paradife, 
 With apples might the firft-born man deceive, 
 And mere perfuafive voice tlian tempting Eve. 
 
 1
 
 19* ART OF LOVE. 
 
 Not to confine you here ; for many mors 
 Britain's luxuriant wealth has ftiil in (lore, 2o6s 
 Whom would I number up I mull outrun 
 The longeft courfe of the laborious fun. 
 
 PART XIV. 
 
 Our manners like our countenance ihould be, 
 
 They always candid, and the other free ; 
 
 But when our mind by anger is pofleft 1070 
 
 Our noble manhood is transform'd to beaft : 
 
 No feature then its wonted grace retains 
 
 When the blood blackens in the fwclling veins : 
 
 The eyeballs flioot out fiery darts would kill 
 
 Th' oppofer if the Gorgon had its will. ' 4075 
 
 When Pallas in a river faw the flute 
 
 Deform'd her cheeks fhe let the reed be mute. 
 
 Anger no more will mortify the face 
 
 Which in that paflion once confults her glafs. 
 
 Let Beauty ne'er be with this torment feiz'd, 2c8o 
 
 But ever refl fcrcne, and ever pluas'd. 
 
 A dark and fullcn brow feems to reprove 
 
 The firfl advances that arc made to Love, 
 
 To which there is nothing more averfe than pride. 
 
 Men without fpeaking often are deny'd ; 2085 
 
 And a difdainful look too oft' reveals 
 
 Thofc feeds of hatred which th^ tongue conceals^ 
 
 4 ^
 
 ART OF LOVE. I93 
 
 When eyes meet eyes, and fmiles to fmiles return, 
 'Tis then both hearts with equal ardour burn, 
 And by their mutual paiTion foon will know 2C90 
 That all are darts, and Ihot from Cupid's bow : 
 But when ibme lovely form does flrikc yonr eyes 
 Be cautious ftill how you admit furprife. 
 What you would love with quick difcretlon view ; 
 The objevft may deceive by being new : ^^95 
 
 You may fubmit to a too hafty fate, 
 And would fhake off the yoke when it is too late. 
 We often into our deftruAion fink 
 By not allowing time enough to think. 
 Rcfifi; at firft. For help in vain we pray aiCO 
 
 When ills have gain'd full ftrength by long delay. 
 Be fpeedy, left, perhaps the jrrowing hour 
 Put what is now within beyond our powV. 
 I.,ove as a fire in cities finds increafe. 
 Proceeds, and till the whole is deflroy'd won't ceafe: 
 It with allurements docs like rivers rife, aic6 
 
 From little fpring^ enlarg'd by vaft fupplies. 
 Had Myrrha kept this guard Ibe had not flood 
 A monumental crime in weeping wood. 
 Eecaufe that Love is pleafing in its pain 2IIO 
 
 We not without reluvftance health obtain. 
 Phyfick may tarry till to-morrow's fun, 
 Whilil thccixrs'd poifons thro' the vitals run. 
 The tree not to be (hook has pierc'd the ground, 
 nd death muft follow the negleded wound. 21 1 J 
 yoltime I. R
 
 194 ART OF LOVE. 
 
 O'er dilF'reftt ages Love bears difF'rent fway, 
 -'Takes various turns to make all forts obey. 
 The colt unback'd we footh with gentle trace. 
 We feed the runner deftin'd for the race ; 
 And it is with tiftie and matters we prepare 31 JO 
 The manag'd courfers rufliing to the war. 
 Ambitious youth will have fome fparks of pride. 
 And not without impatience be deny'd. 
 If to his Love a rival you afford, 
 You theft prefcnt a trial for his fword : 2125 
 
 His eager warmth difdains to be preplext, 
 And rambles to the beauty that is next. 
 Maturer years proceed with care and fenfe, 
 And as they feldom give fo feldom take offence : 
 For he that knows refiflance is in vain 2130 
 
 Knows likewife ftruggling will iucreafe his pain. 
 Like wood that i& lately cut in Paphian grove 
 Time makes him a fit facrifice for Love : 
 By flow degrees he fans the gentle fire, 
 Till perfeverance makes the flame afpire. 2135 
 
 This Love is more fure, the other is more gay ; 
 But then he roves whilft this is forc'd to ftay. 
 There are fome tempers which you muft oblige 
 Not by a quick furrender but a fiege; 
 That moft are pleas'd when driven to defpair 214© 
 By what they 're pleas'd to call a cruel fair. 
 Tney think unlefs thtir ufage has been hard 
 Their conquell loks part of its reward.
 
 ART OF LOVE, I95 
 
 *rhus fonse raife fpleen from their abounding "wealthy 
 Ami clogg'd with fweetsfrom acids feek their health : 
 And many a boat does its deftrudlion find 2146 
 
 JBy having Icanty fails too full of wind. 
 
 Is it not treachery to declare 
 The feeble parts we have in war ? 
 Is it not folly to afford SIJO 
 
 Our enemy a naked fword ? 
 Yet it is my weaknefs to confefs 
 What puts men often in diftrefs : 
 But then it is fuch beaux * as be 
 Pt^lTefs'd with fo much vanity i'^SS 
 
 To think that wherefoe'tr they turrt 
 "Whoever looks on them muft burn. 
 What they defire they think is true 
 With fmall encouragement from you. 
 They will a lingle look improve, ilCo 
 
 And take civilities for love. 
 
 * It is obvious that this word conveys, at prefent, a very 
 different idea from its original tignification, wliich was plainly 
 that of an accomplilhed gentleman. — How different are the 
 manly beaux of Faiquhar from the prefent Macaronies ! and 
 how many intermediate gradations have arifen between them? 
 The genuine beau appears tc have been corrupted by a fervile 
 imitation of that ludicrous character the petit maitrc of our 
 neighbour nation, a title affecled by fuch of that vain people 
 as had no other, in humble emulation of their grand maitre 
 Louis XIV. : from thefe came the Lord Foppingtons and Sir 
 Harry Wildairs, and from them degenerated by degrees tli6 
 Fribble and tlxe Macaroni. 
 
 Rij
 
 196 ART OF LOVe; 
 
 " Wc all CBpe^cd you at play; 
 *' Was it not a miilrel's made you flay ?" 
 The beau is fir 'd, cries, ** Now I find 
 *' I out of pity muft be kind : 2165 
 
 *' She figh'd impatient till I came." 
 Thus foaring to the lively flame 
 We fee the vain ambitious fly 
 Scorch its gay v.'ings, then unregarded die. 
 
 Both fexes have their jealoufy, 4170 
 
 And ways to gain their ends thereby, 
 But oftentimes too quick belief 
 Has giv'n a fudden vent to grief, 
 Occafion'd by fome perfons lying 
 To fet an eafy wife a-crying; SI 75 
 
 And Procris long ago, alas! 
 Experienc'd this unhappy cafe. 
 
 There is a mount, Hymettus ftyl'd, 
 Where pinks and rofemary are wild ; 
 Where Itrawberries and myrtles grow, 21 80 
 
 And violets make a purple {how ; 
 Where tlie fweet bays and laurel ihine, 
 All fliaded by the lofty pine ; 
 Where zephirs with their wanton motion 
 Have all the leaves at their devotion : 2 1 85 
 
 Here Cephalus, who hunting lov'd, 
 When dogs and men were both remov'd, 
 And all his dufty labour done, 
 In the meridian of the fun
 
 ART OF LOVEi tfjj 
 
 Into fome fecret hedge would creep, 4190 
 
 And fing and hum himfelf afleep ; 
 
 But commonly being hot and dry 
 
 He thus would for fome cooler cry : 
 
 •* O now if fome 
 
 ** Cooler would come! 21195 
 
 *• Deareft, rareil, 
 
 *' Lovelieft, faireU^ 
 
 *' Cooler ! come. 
 
 "Oh! Air, 
 
 " Frelh and rare ! 22CO 
 
 ** Deareft, rareft, 
 
 ** Lovelieft, faireft, 
 
 ** Cooler! come. Cooler ! come. Cooler! cprtie." 
 
 A woman that had heard him ling 
 Soon had her malice on the wing ; ^205 
 
 For females ufually do n't want 
 A fellow-gofiip that v/ill cant. 
 Who ftill is pleas'd with others' ails, 
 And therefore carries fpiteful tales. 
 Che thought that (he might raife fome ftrife 7,2lo 
 By telling fomething to his wife; 
 That once upon a time Ihe ftood 
 In fuch a place, in fuch a wood, 
 On fuch a day, and fuch a year. 
 There did, at leaft there did appear ZiT^ 
 
 ('Caufe for the world ftie would not lie 
 As ihe muft tell hec by the by) 
 
 Rijj
 
 ipS ART OF LOVE. 
 
 Her hufband, firft more loudly bawling. 
 
 And afterwards more foftly calling 
 
 A perfon not of the beft fame, 2220 
 
 And Miflrefs Cooler was her name. 
 
 •' No\T, Goffip, why faould fne ccme thither 
 
 *' But that they might be naught together ?" 
 
 When Cris heard all her colour turn'd, 
 And tho' her heart within her burn'd, iZZ^ 
 
 And eyeballs fent forth fudden flafnes, 
 Her cheeks and lips were pale as alhes. 
 Then, '* Wo the day that ihe was born !" 
 The nlghtrail innocent was torn ; 
 Many a thump was giv'n the breaft, aajo 
 
 **Andflie, oh! fhe fliould never refk ! 
 *J She flraight would hie her to the wood; 
 •* And he 'd repent it — that he fliou'd." 
 With eager haile away fhe moves. 
 Never regarding fcarf or gloves : , 2235 
 
 Into the grotto foon fhe creeps, 
 And into cv'ry thicket peeps, 
 And to her eyes there did appear 
 Two prints of bodies — that was clear : 
 *' And now (fhe cries) I plainly fee 2240 
 
 '* Kow time and place and all agree : 
 *' Eut here is a covert where I '11 lie, 
 ** And I IhaU have them by and by." 
 
 'Twas noon: and Cephalus, as laft time, 
 Heated and ruSed with his paftime, 2245
 
 ART OF LOVE. I99 
 
 Came to the very felffame place ' 
 
 Where he was us'd to wafh his face ; 
 
 And then he fung, and then he humm'd, 
 
 And on his knee with fingers thrumm'd. 
 
 When CrilTy found all matters fair, 2250 
 
 And that he only wanted Air, 
 
 Saw what device was took to fool her, 
 
 And no fuch one as Millrefs Cooler, 
 
 Miilrufting then no future harms 
 
 She would have rulh'd into his arms ; *255 
 
 But as the leaves began to ruftle, 
 
 He thought feme beaft had made thobuflle : 
 
 He fiiot ; then cry'd, *' I 've kill'd my deer." 
 
 *' Ay, fo you have, (fays Cris) 1 fear." — 
 
 *' Why, Criffy ! pray what made you here ?" 
 
 *' By Gofup Trot I underflood a 26 1 
 
 *' You kept a fmall girl in this wood." 
 
 Quoth Ceph, " 'Tis pity thou ftiouldll die 
 
 " For this thy foolifh jealoufy, 
 
 *' For it is a paflion that does move 226^ 
 
 " Too often from exccfs of love." 
 
 But when they fought for wound full fore 
 
 The petticoat was only tore, 
 
 And fhe had got a luily thump 
 
 Which in feme meafure bruis'd her rump : 3270 
 
 Then home mcft lovingly they went ; 
 
 Neitlicr had reafon to repent : 
 
 Their following years pafs'd in content, 
 
 1 
 
 1
 
 2CO ART OP LOVE. 
 
 And Grifly made him the befl wife 
 For the remainder of his life. i2J$ 
 
 The Mufe has done, nor will more laws obtrude, 
 Left Ihe by being tedious fhould be rude. 
 Unbrace l.ove's fwans; let them unharnefs'd ftray, 
 And eat ambrofia thro' the Milky Way : 
 Give liberty to ev'ry Paphian dove, 5tz8o 
 
 And let them freely with the Cupids rove : 
 But when the Amazonian trophies rife 
 With monuments of their paft vidories. 
 With what difcretion and what art they fought 
 l.et them record "They were by Ovid taught." 2*85
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Page 
 
 The Li Te of the Author, 5 
 
 The P'jhlillier to the Reader, 29 
 
 Letter T. To Mr . 31 
 
 !l. ToMr. . 34 
 
 . II!. To Dr. Liller, prefeot, 15. 
 
 IV. To Mr . ' 40 
 
 V. To Mr. . 4i 
 
 VI. ToMr.. 
 
 VII. To Mr. 
 
 49 
 55 
 
 Viil. ToMr . 57 
 
 IX. To xMr. . 65 
 
 The Art of Cookery, la Imitatioa of Horace's Art 
 
 of Poetry, S^ 
 
 Dedication to The A.rt of Love, 109 
 
 Preface to ditto, I H 
 
 The Art of Love. Part T . 1 15 
 
 — ir. 12a 
 
 III. Its 
 
 IV. 129 
 
 — V. .133 
 
 VI. 14a 
 
 -^VII. 149
 
 JJ^9 KUXM ICJN I 8. 
 
 The Art ofLove. Part VII L 
 
 Page 
 13 1 
 
 IX. 
 
 1 60 
 
 ^ X. 
 
 164 
 
 XI. 
 
 i:/i 
 
 ' XII. 
 
 174 
 
 XIII. 
 
 186 
 
 XIV. 
 
 I9» 
 
 tromtbe APOLI.O PRESS, 
 
 by the MARTINS, 
 
 Cftr. 0. 1781. 
 
 E^B OF VOLUME F1R«T,
 
 POETICAL WORKS 
 
 O F 
 
 DR. WILLIAM KING, 
 
 [N TWO VOLUMES.. > 
 
 WITH THE LIFE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 I fing the vai-io;js chances of the worll, 
 Thrtj'wtuch rnen are by Kateor Fortune fcurl'd, 
 ••Til by no fchenie or method that I go. 
 But paint in verfe my notions as they flow ; 
 \Vith heat the wanton imaRes purfuc. 
 Fond of the old, yet Itill creating rev.- ; 
 Fancy myfelf in utme fccure retreat, 
 Refolve to be cuntent, and fo l^c ^eat. 
 
 VOL, IL 
 
 F.DINSURG: 
 
 AT THE SpoUO l^iefjS, BY THE M A?LTXy3.
 
 TfiE 
 
 POETICAL WORKS 
 
 O F 
 
 DR. WILLIAM KING, 
 
 VOL. II. 
 
 CONTAINING HIS 
 
 MISCELLANIES, 
 
 EPISTLES, 
 
 SONGS, 
 
 EPIGRAMS, 
 IMIIATIONS,. 
 
 TRANSLAirONS, 
 
 iSfc. Iffc. ijfc. 
 
 Read here in fofteft founds the I'weeteft fatire \ 
 A pen dipt deep in gall, a heart good nature. 
 An Engliih Ovid, from his birth l\e feems 
 Infpir'd alike with ftrong poetick dreams: 
 The Ro-niQ rants of herocj, go<Is, rtad Jove; 
 TS-3 b-\-: ■:. p'.rjiy ,):,,ncs Thj ArL -f T, i.e. 
 
 ANOSYM. 
 
 E D I N B U R G : 
 
 *T THE 3pOilO P^Cfe, BY THE MARTINS. 
 
 A^/!0 1781.
 
 THE FRUMENTARY% 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 The Author of the foUowing Poemn-'ay be thought 
 to write for fame and the applaufe of the Town, but 
 he wholly difov/ns it, for he writes only for the pu-» 
 blick good, the benefit of his country, and themanu-* 
 fadure of England. It is well known that grave fe - 
 nators have often at the Palace yard refrellied them* 
 felveswith barley broth in a morning, which has had 
 a very folid influence on their counfels; it is therefore 
 hoped that other perfons niayufe it with the like fuc- 
 cefs. No man can be ignorant how of late years cof-» 
 fee and tea In a morning has prevailed; nay, cold wa- 
 ters have obtained their commendation; and wells are 
 fprung up from Adon to Illington, and crofs the wa- 
 ter to Lambeth. Thcfe liquors have feveral eminent 
 champions of all profefllons; but there have not been 
 wanting perfons in all ages that have {hewn a true 
 love for their country and the proper diet of it, as wa- 
 tergruel,milkporridge, ricemilk,and efpecially Fru- 
 menty, both with plums and without. To this end 
 feveral worthy perfons have encouraged the eatinjf 
 fuch wholefomc diet in a morning ; and that the poor 
 may be provided, they have defired feveral matrons to 
 
 * Written to pleafe a gentleman who thought nothing 
 fmooth or lofty could be written upon a mean fubject, but had 
 no intent of making any refledion upon The Difpenfary, which 
 bas defcrvcdly g.iined a lalling reputation. Kin^, 
 
 Aiij
 
 ftand at Smitlinela-bars,Leadenhall-markct,Stcckf'« 
 market, and divers other noted places in the City, 
 cfpecially at Fleet-ditch, there to dlfpenfe Frumenty 
 to labouriaj^ people and the poor at reafonable rates, 
 at three halfpence and twopence a diih, which is not 
 dear, the plums being confidered. 
 
 The places are generally ftyled Frnnlentaries, be^ 
 caiifc that food has got the general eftecm ; but that at 
 Fleet-ditch I take to be one of the moll remarkable, 
 and therefore I have ftyled it The Frumentary; and 
 could eafily have had a certificate of the ufefulnefs of 
 this Frumentary figncd by feveral eminent carmen, 
 gardeners, journeymen tailors, and bafketwomen, 
 who have promifed to contribute to the maintenance 
 of the fame in cafe the colFeehoufes fhould proceed to 
 oppofe it. 
 
 I have thought this a very proper fubje(ft for an he- 
 roick poem, and endeavoured to be asfmooth in my 
 verfe and as inoffcnfive in my charatilers as was pof- 
 fiblc. It is my cafe, with Lucretius, that 1 write upon a 
 fubjc«5l not treated of by the Ancients : but the great- 
 er labour tlic greater glory. 
 
 Virgil had a Flomer to imitate; but I ftand upon 
 my own legs, without any fupport from abroad, l 
 therefore fliall have moreoccafion for the reader's fa- 
 vour, who from the kind acceptance of this may ex- 
 pert the defcription of other Frumcntaries about this 
 City from his moft huntble fervant, 
 
 AND PER SE AKD.
 
 THE FRUMENTARY, 
 
 A VERy JNNOCENT AND HARMLESS POEM, 
 
 IN THREE CANTOS. 
 
 Firjl printed in 1 6 99. 
 
 CANTO I. 
 
 iN o fooner did the gray-cy'd Morning peep, 
 
 And yawning mortals flretch chemfelves from fleep ; 
 
 Finders of gold were now but newly paft, 
 
 And bafketwomen did to market hafle; 
 
 The watchmen were but jufL returning home 5 
 
 To give the thieves more liberty to roam, 
 
 When from a hill by growing beams of light 
 
 A {lately pile v/as offer'd to the fight ; 
 
 Three fpacious doors let pafiengers go thro', 
 
 And diftant Hones did terminate their view. lo 
 
 Juft here, as ancient poets iing, there Hood 
 
 The noble palace of the valiant Liid; 
 
 His image now appears in Portland lloue, 
 
 Each fide fupported by a godlike fon * ; 
 
 * As Dr. King's defcription of Ludgate, though familiar to 
 the prefent age, will be lefs intelligible to the rif;ng genera^ 
 tion, it may not be improper to obferve that its name, which 
 Geoffry of Monmouth has afcribed to King Lud, was with 
 greater propriety derived from iis fituation near the rivulet:
 
 k 
 
 MISCELLANIES, 
 
 1 
 
 But underneath all the three heroes lliine i j 
 
 In living colours drawn upon a fign 
 
 Which ftews the way to ale but not to wine. 
 
 Near is a place enclos'd with iron bars 
 Where many mortals curfe their cruel liars 
 When brought by ufurers into diHrcIs, 20 
 
 For having little, flili niufl live on kfs : 
 Stern Av'rice there keeps the relentlefs door, 
 And bids each wretch eternally be poor : 
 Kence Hunger rifes, difmally he ilalks, 
 And takes each fingle prif 'ner in his Walks : 25 
 
 This duty dene, the meagre monfter flares, 
 Holds up his bones, and thus begins his pray'rs : 
 
 " ThoUjgoddefs Famine ! that canfticnd us blights, 
 
 •' With parching heat by day and florm by nights, 
 
 ** Aflifl me now ; fo may ail lands be thine, 30 
 
 •' And fhoals of orphans at thy altars pine ! 
 
 " Long may thy reign continue on each fhore 
 
 *' Wherever peace and plenty reign'd before ! 
 
 Flud or Fleet, which ran near it. So early as 1373 Ludgate 
 ■was conliituted a \n\i'on tor pocr debtors who were free oftlie 
 City, and was greatly enlarged in I45'4by Sir Stephen Forfter, 
 who after luving been himfelf confined there became Lord 
 Mayor of London, and eilablilhed feveral benevolent regula- 
 tions for its government. The old gate becoming ruinous, aii 
 elegant building, as above defcribed by Dr. King, was eredetl 
 in 1586, with the ilatue of Queen Elifabtth on the weil front, 
 and thofe of the pretended King Lud and liis two fons on the 
 caft. Tliis was pulled down in i^Oo, and the ftatue of Elifa- 
 beth placed againft tlie church of St. Dunitan-in-the-Weft. 
 Since that time the City debtors iiave been confined in a pari! 
 of the London Wotklioufe in Biihopfsatcflrc-et.
 
 MISCELLANIES, <9 
 
 *' I mufl confefs that to thy gracious hand 
 
 *' I widows owe that are at my command; 35 
 
 " I joy to hear their num'rous children's cries, 
 
 *' Andblefs thy pow'r to find they 've no fupplies, 
 
 *' I thank thee for thofe martyrs who v/ould fly 
 
 ** From fuperilitious rites and tyranny 
 
 *' And find their fulnefs of reward in me. 4c 
 
 ** But it is with much humility I own 
 
 *' That gen'rous favour you have lately fliown, 
 
 ** When men that bra velyhave their country fcrv'd' 
 
 *' Receiv'd the juil reward that they deferv'd, 
 
 *' And are preferr'd to mc, and fhall be flarv'd. 
 
 *' I can, but with regret, I can dcfpife 46 
 
 ** Innumerable of the London cries, 
 
 " When peafe and mack'rel with their harflier found 
 
 " The tender organs of my ears confound ; | 
 
 *' But that wliich makes my projedls all mifcarry jo 
 
 *' Is this inhuman fatal Frumentary. 
 
 " Not far from hence, jull by the Bridge of, Fleet, 
 '^ With fpoons, and porringers, and napkin neat, 
 ** A faithlefs Siren does entice the fenfe 
 *^ By fumes of viands which flie does difpenfe S5 
 *' To mortal ftomachs for rewarding pence, 
 *' Whilft each man's earliefl thoughts would baniih 
 ^' Who have no other oracle but thee." [n"ic, 
 
 I 
 
 •v'd.T 
 I I 
 
 }
 
 J 
 
 JO MISCELLANIES* 
 
 CANTO II. 
 
 Whilst fuch like pray'rskeen Hunger would ad- 
 vance, 
 Fainting and wcakncfs threw him in a trance ; 60 
 Famine took pity on her careful flave, 
 And kindly to him this afliftance gave. 
 Sl>e took the figure of a thin parch'd maidj 
 Who many years had for a hufband ftaid, 
 And coming near to Hunger thus fhc faid : 
 
 " My darling Son ! whilft Peace and Plenty fmile, 
 ** And happinefs would overrun thisifle, 
 *' 1 joy to fee, by this thy prefent care, 
 ** I 've flill fomc friends remaining fincc tl>e war. 
 •' In fpite of us A does on ven'fon feed, 7<3 
 
 '• And bread and butter is for B decreed; 
 *' C D combines with E F's gen'rous foul 
 " To pafs their minutes with the fparkling bowl; 
 *' H I's good nature from his endlcfs ftore 
 " Is flill conferring blefiings on the poor, 73 
 
 *' For none excqit it is K regards them more ; 
 *• L M N O P QJs vainly great, 
 *' And fquandcrs half his fubftance in a treat ; 
 " Nice eating by R S is underflood ; 
 *' T'sfupper tho' but little yet is good; 80 
 
 " U's converfation is equal to his wine; 
 *' You flip with W whene'er you dine; 
 
 1
 
 MISCELLANIES. H 
 
 } 
 
 ;,| 
 
 ** X Y and Z, hating to be confin'd, 83 
 
 '^* Ramble to the next eatinghoufa they find ; 
 ** Pleafant, good-humour'd, beautiful, and gay, 
 ** Sometimeswithmufick and fometimes with play 
 *' Prolong their pleafures till th' approaching day. 
 ** And Per Se And alone, as poets ufe, 88 
 
 *• The ftarving didtates of my rules purfues; 
 *' No fwinging coachman does afore him flvne 
 *' Nor has he any conflant place to dine, 
 ** But all his notions of a meal are mine. 
 *' Halle, hafte; to him a blefBng give from me, 
 •* And bid him write fharp things on Frumenty. 
 " But I would have thee to Coffedro go, 95 
 
 *' And let Tobacco too thy bus'nefs know ; 
 *' With famous Teedrums in this cafe advife, 
 *' Rely on Sago who is always wife. 
 
 " Amidft fuch counfel banilh all defpair; 
 ** Trufl me you Ihall fucceed in this affair : lOO 
 
 ** That projedl: which they Frumentary call 
 *' Before next Ureakfaft time fhall furely fall.'* 
 
 This faid, fhe quickly vanilh'd in a wind 
 Had long within her body been confin'd. 
 Thus Hercules, when he his mlttrefs found, 
 Soon knew her by her fcent and by her found. ic6 
 
 CANTO III. 
 
 Hunger rejoic'd to hear the blefl command 
 That Frumentary fhould no longer ftand j
 
 1 
 
 JZ M^SCELLANIES. 
 
 With fpeed he to Cdifedro's manfion fiieSj 
 And bids the palefac'd mortal quickly rife. iio 
 
 '. *' Ariie, my Friend ! for upon thee do wait 
 V'DIimal events and prodigies of fate. 
 *''Tis break of day, thy footy broth prepare, 
 " And all thy other liquors for a war : 
 *' R-oufe up Tobacco, whofe delicious fight, iij 
 'tlllnn^ioated round with beams of light, 
 *'To my important mind will caufe delight. 
 'S How will he conquer nollrils that prefume 
 " To iland th' attack of his impetuous fume ! 
 *' LcthandfomeTeedrumstoobe call'dtoarms, I20 
 *' For he has courage in the midft of charms. 
 " Sago with counfei fills his wakeful brain^, 
 " But then his wifdom countervails his pains : 
 *' 'Tis h.e fhall be your guide; he fiiall efitcS: 
 '' That glorious conquefl which we all expert 125 
 ", The brave Hedtorvus fhall command this force ; 
 " He '11 meet Tubcarrio'sfoot, or,whichisworfe, 
 " OppbCe the fury of Carmanniers hoffe. 
 *' For his reward this he (hall have each day, 
 *' Drink cofl'ee, tlien fi.rut out, and never pay. "130 
 
 It was not long ere the grandees were met, 
 And ronnd newfpapers in full order fet. 
 Then Sago riung faid : '' I hope you hear 
 " Hunger's advicew'ith an obedient ear: 
 *' Our great defign admits of no delay, I35 
 
 " Famine commands, and we mull all obey. 
 
 J A ■» 
 
 ^
 
 MISCELLANIES. IJ 
 
 " That Siren which does Frumeutary keen 
 
 *' Long fince is rifen from the hands of flecp ; 
 
 " Her fpoons and porringers with art difplay'd 
 
 *' Many of Hunger's fuhje6ls have betray'd." 14^ 
 
 " To arms," He-dlorvus cry'd : '' Coffedro ftouc, 
 " Iffue forth liquor from thy fcaiding fpout !" 
 
 Great One-and-ail-^i gives the firfl alarms, 
 Then each nian fnatches up ofFenfive arnjs : 
 To Ditch of Fleet courageoufly they run, 145 
 
 Quicker than thought the battle is begun : 
 Hedorvus firft Tubcarrio does attack. 
 And by furprife foon lays him on his back ; 
 Thirflo and Drowtho tlien approaching near 
 Soon overthrow two magazines of beer. 150 
 
 The innocent Syrena little thought 
 That all thefe arms againfl herfelf were brought, 
 Nor that in her defence the drink was fpilt : 
 How could file fear that never yet knew guilt ? 
 Her fragrant juice and her delicious plums 155 
 
 She does difpenfe (with gold upon her thumbs; ) 
 Virgins pnd youths around her Hood*, flie fat 
 Environ'd with a wooden chair of ftate. 
 
 In the meantime Tobacco flrives to vex 
 A num'rous fquadron of the tender fex : 160 
 
 What with ftrong fmoke and with his flrongcrbreath 
 He funks Baflcttii and her Ton to death. 
 
 Coffedro then with Teedrums >ind the band 
 Who carry'd foalding liquors in their hand, 
 
 /W.'/.v;///. * B
 
 J4 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Throw wat'ry ammunition in their eyes, jf,* 
 
 On which Syrena's party frighten 'd flits : 
 Carmannio ftraiglit drive's up, a huhvark ftrong, 
 Arid horie oppofes to CofFedro's throng; ; 
 Coaldrivio ftand« for bright Syrena's guard, 
 And allhef rally'd forces are pfcpar'd ; 176 
 
 Carmannio then to Teedrtim's fqoadron makes, 
 And the leiii mortal by the buttons takes ; 
 Nc^ Teedrtimis' arts Carm^.'nnio could befcech, 
 Eut his rough valour throws him in the ditch. 
 Syrena, tho' furpfis'd, rcfolv'd to be ij.^ 
 
 7'he great ^-onduca of her Frumentry ; 
 Before her throne courageoufly fhe itands, 
 Managing ladle<5 full with both her hands ; 
 The num'rous plums like haiifhot flew about, 
 y\.nd'pIerityfo6n difpers'd the meagre rout. iFo 
 
 Po have I feen at fair that is nam'd from horn 
 Many a ladle's blow by 'prentice borne ; 
 lii Vain he flrivcs their paflions to afl"uage, 
 "VVitJi threats wnt.ld frighten, with foft words engage. 
 Until thro' miiky gantlet foundly beat 
 His prudent heel? fecurc a quick retreat. 186 
 
 " J.-iTnqrierjpu?- e^regi, quod nee Jovis ira, nee i^nis, 
 ♦' Ncc potcvic icnum, iiec edax .";bolcrc VvtuUai;''
 
 MULLY ot'^SqUN^'OWN ^ ^ ' 
 
 FIRST PRINTED BY THE AUTHOR IX I7O4. 
 
 3^/IouNTOwN f ! thou fweet retreat I'romDublin cares. 
 
 Be famous for thy apples and thy pears, 
 
 For turnips, carrots, lettuce, beans and peafe, 
 
 For Feggy's butter and for Peggy's cheefe. 
 
 May clouds of pigeons round about thee fly, 5 
 
 But cohdefccad fometimes to make a pie ! 
 
 May fat geefe gaggle with melodious voice. 
 
 And ne'er want goofeberries cr apple lauce ! 
 
 Ducks in thy ponds, and chicken in thy pens. 
 
 And be thy turkeys num'rous as tliy hens! ro 
 
 May thy black pigs lie warm in little fly. 
 
 And have no thought to grieve them till they die! 
 
 Mountown ! the Mules' moft; delicious theme, 
 
 Qh : may thy codlins ever fwim in cream ! 
 
 Thy rafp and llrawberries in Bourdeaux drown, 15 
 
 To add a redder tindure to their own ! 
 
 Thy whitewine, fugar, milk, together club 
 
 To make that gentle viand ullabub i ! 
 
 ♦ It was taken for a Itate poem, and to have mnny m^'fteries 
 jn it, though it was only made, as well as Orpheus and Eury- 
 *'iiGe, for coimtry divcrfion. King. 
 
 t A plealant villa to the fouth of Dublin near the fea. . 
 
 t " Peace to thy gentle Aiade, fweet fmiling Hsuniverl" — 
 would luvc been our Author's ciaculation if ho had lived ia 
 
 B i j
 
 16 MISCELLANIES/ 
 
 Thy tarts to tarts, cheefecakes to chccfecakcs join. 
 To fpoil tht rclifti of the flowing wine ! ao 
 
 But to the fading palate bring relief, 
 By thy Weftphalian ham or Eclgick beef! 
 And to complete thy bleflings in a word, 
 May flill thy foil be gciv'rous as its lord f ! 
 H. 
 Oh Peggy, Peggy ! when thou goefl to brew 25 
 Confider well what you 're about to do ; 
 Be very vtife, very fedately think 
 That what yoa 're going now to make is drink; 
 Confider who mud drink that drink ; and then 
 What it is to have the praife of honeft men ; 5^0 
 
 For furely, Pegjjy, while tliat drink does laft 
 *Tis Peggy will be toafted or difgrac'd. 
 Then if thy ale m glafs thou wouldft confine 
 To make its fparklii:jg rays in beauty fhine, 
 I,et thy clean bottle be entirely dry, ^£ 
 
 I.efl a white ftibllance to the furface fly, 
 And floating there difluJb the curious eye. 
 
 I 
 
 I775, when the admirers of this pentle viand lameiited the ir- 
 reparable Icfs of the fosiidrcfs of the Laftaricm : 
 
 " Lac mihi non iftatc novum, non frigore dcfit ;" 
 " My milk in funniicr's drougLt nor winter fails i" 
 
 ■was the matron's invitation to the pubHclt, whiMl her happy 
 cottage prefented the hvelicfl refiedicn of its benignant owner: 
 
 " Qjiam (lives pecoris nivei, quam laiflis abundans !" 
 " AVhat lufciwis milk, w hat rural florcs, are miae ;'' 
 
 f Judge Upton.
 
 MISCELI-^NIES. J67 
 
 But this great maxim mufl.be underflood, ' • 
 
 *' Be fure, nay very fure, thy cork he good :" 
 Then future ages fliall of Peggy tell, 40 
 
 That nymph that brew'd and bottled ale fo well. 
 
 III. 
 ■ How fleet is air ! how many things have breath 
 Which in a moment they refign to death, 
 Depriv'd of light and all their happicil ft:ate 
 Not by their fault but fome overruling Fate ! 45 
 
 Altho' fairflow'rs that juftly might invite 
 Arc cropt, nay torn away, for man's delight. 
 Yet fl:ill thofe flow'rs, alas ! can make no moan, 
 Nor has Narcin'us now a pow'r to groan ; 49 
 
 But all thofe things which breathe in diif 'rent frame 
 By tie of common breath man's pity claim. 
 A gentle lamb has rhctorick to plead, 
 And ^yhen ihe fees the butcher's knife decreed, 
 Her voice entreats him not to make her bleed : 
 But cruel gain and luxury of tafte SS 
 
 With pride ftili lays man's fellow-mgrtals wafte. 
 What earth and waters breed or air infpires 
 Man for his palate fits by tort'ring fires. ■ • 
 
 Muily, a cow fprung from a beauteous race, 
 ^\^ithfpreading front did Mountown'spaflures grace : 
 Giirjtle flje v.as, and with a gentle flream 6 1 
 
 Fach.rnojrn and night gave milk that equall'd cream. 
 OiTcnding none, of.none fhe ftood in dread, 
 '. 1 ucli lefs of perfons which file daily fedj 
 
 Biij 
 
 '•}
 
 l8 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 ** But innecence cannot itfelf defend [" Friend.'' 
 ** 'Gainft t'reach'rous arts veil'd with the name of 
 
 Robin of Derbyfhire, whofe temper Ihocks 67 
 The confiitution of hi? native rocks, 
 Born in a place * which, if it once he nam'd, 
 "Would make a blufhinp; modefty afham'd, 70 
 
 He with indulgence kindly did appear 
 To make poor Mully his peculiar care; 
 But inwardly this fullen churlifli thief 
 Had all his mind phc'd upon Mully's beef r 
 His fancy fed on her; and thus he 'd cry, 7J 
 
 *' Alully, asfure as I 'm alive yoii die ! 
 *' *Tis a brave cow ! O^ Sirs! when Chriftmas comes 
 *' Thefe fliins fhall make the porridge' grac'd with 
 
 plums ; 
 *' Then 'midfl our cups whilft we profufely dine 
 *' This blade fhall enter deep in Muliy's chine. 80 
 ' ' What ribs, what rumps, what bak'd, boil'd, llew'd>, 
 
 " androaft ! 
 *' There fha' n't one fingle tripe of her be loft !" 
 
 When Peggy, nymph of Mountown, heard thefe 
 Shegriev'dto hear of Mully's future wounds, [found?, 
 •' What crime," faid flie, *' has gentle Mully done ^ 
 *' Witnefs the rifing and the fetting fun, 86 
 
 *' That knows what milk fhe conftantly would give ! 
 *' Let that quench Robin's rage and Mully live." 
 
 K- The Devil's Arfe of Peak, defcribed by Hnbbes in a^pcenv 
 Sc MiraOilitus Fccci, the teit of liis poetical performances.
 
 I 
 
 MISCELLANIES. jp 
 
 t^aniel, a fprlghtly fwain, that uf 'd to flafh 
 The vig'rous ftecds that drew his lord's calafh, 90 
 To Peggy's fide inclin'd ; for it was well known 
 How well he lov'd thofe Cattle of his owA. 
 
 Then Terence fpoke, oraculous and fly ; 
 He 'd neither grant the quellion nor deny ; 
 Pleading for niiik his thoughts were on mince pi 
 But all his arguments fn dubious were 96 
 
 That Mully thence had neither hopes nor fear. 
 
 " You've fpoke," fay.-- Robin ; "butnowletmctcM 
 *' 'Tis not fair fpoken words that fifl the belly : ["ye 
 *' Pudding and beef 1 love ; and cannot floop lOO 
 ** To recommend your bonny-clabber foup. 
 *' You fay fhe is innocent ; but what of that ? 
 *' ^Tis more than crime fufficient that fhe is fat ! 
 •' And that which is prevailing in this cafe 
 *' Is, there is another cow ta fillhtr place : IC5 
 
 " And granting Mully to have milk in ftore, 
 *' Y'et flill this other cow will give us more. 
 *' She dies." — Stop here, my Mufe ! forbear the reflj 
 Ajid veil that grief which cannot be cxprcft. IC9 
 
 ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE. 
 
 FIRST PRINTED BY THE AUTHOR IN 1/04. 
 
 As poets fay, one Orpheus went 
 To hell upon an odd intent. 
 Firft tell the flory, then let 's knew 
 If any one will do fo now.
 
 aO MISCELLANIES. 
 
 This Orpheus was a jolly bov, ~ 5 
 
 Born long before the fiege of Troy; 
 His parents found the lad was fharp. 
 And taught him on the Irifh harp ; 
 And when grown nt for marriage life 
 Qave him Eurydice for wife ; 10 
 
 And they as fcon as match was made 
 Set up the ballad-finging trade. 
 
 The cunning varlet could devife 
 For country folks ten thoufand lies, 
 Affirming all thofe monflrous things 15 
 
 Were done by force of harp and ftrings ; 
 Could make a tiger in a trice 
 Tame as a cat and catch your mice ; 
 Could make a lion's courage A;x^y 
 And ftraight could animate a flag ; 20 
 
 And by the help of pleallng ditties 
 Make millftones run and build up cities. 
 Each had the ufe of fluent tongue; 
 If Dice fcolded Orpheus fung ; 
 
 And fo by difcord without ftrifc 25 
 
 Compos'd one harmony of life ; 
 And thus as all their matters ftood 
 They got an honeft livelihood. 
 
 Happy were mortals could they be 
 From any fuddcn danger free ! 30 
 
 Hapjjy were poets could their fong 
 The feeble thread of life prolong !
 
 MISCELLANIES. 21 
 
 But as thcfc two went ftrollixig on 
 I'oor Dice's fcene of life was done; 
 Away her fleeting breath muib fly» 35 
 
 Yet no one knows wherefore or why. 
 
 This caus'd the gen'ral lamentation 
 To all that knew her in her (lation 5 
 How brifk Ihe was Hill to advance 
 'I'he harper's gain and lead the dance ; 40 
 
 In ev'ry tune obferve her thrill, 
 King on, yet change the money flill. 
 
 Orpheus bcft knew what lofs he had, 
 And thinking on it fell almoft mad, 
 And in defpair to Linus ran, - 45 
 
 Who was dileem'd a cunning man ; ' '' 
 
 Gry'd, " He again mull Dice have, 
 *' Or clfe be bury'd in her grave." 
 
 Quoth Linus, " Soft ; refrain your forrow ; : ■ 
 " What fails to-day may Tpeed to-morrow : 50 
 
 " Thank you the gods for whate'er happens, 
 " But don't fall out with your fat capons. 
 ** 'Tis many an honeft man's petition 
 *' That he may be in your condition. 
 *' If fuch a bleffing might be had ^s 
 
 ** To change a living wife for dead 
 ** r d be your chapman ; nay, I 'd ds 't, 
 " Tho' I gave forty pounds to boot. 
 •' Confider iirfh you fave her diet; 
 *' Confider next you keep her quiet : 60
 
 22<. MISCELLANIES. 
 
 " For pray what was fhe all along 
 
 " Except the burthen of your fong? 
 
 " What tho' your Dice is under ground ? 
 
 " Yet many a woman may be found 
 
 '* Who in your gains if ihe may part take -65 
 
 " Trufl me will quickly make your heart ake : 
 
 *' Then refl content as widowers fliou'd — 
 
 H The gods befl know what is for our good !" 
 
 Orpheus no longer could endure 
 Such wounds where he expected cure. 
 
 *^ Is It polTihle!" cry'd he; " and can 
 *' That noble creature, marry'd man, 
 " In fuch a caufe be fo profane i 
 " I '11 fiy thee far as I would Death, - ' 
 
 *' Who from my Diceitook her breath." 75 
 
 Which faid, he foon outftript the wind, 
 Whilil pufiing Boreas lagg'd behind, 
 And to Urganda's cave he came, 
 A lady of prodigious fame, 
 
 W hofe hollow eyes and hopper breech 80 
 
 Made common people call her witch : 
 Down at her feet he proftrate lies 
 With trembling heart and blubber'd eyes. 
 
 " Tell me," faid he, *' for fure you know 
 " The pow'rs above and thofe below, 85 
 
 " Where docs Eurydice remain ? 
 " How faall 1 fetcli her back again ?" 

 
 MJISCELLANIE2. 'l^ 
 
 She fniilingly reply'd, " I '11 tell 
 *' This eafily without afpell: 
 " The wife you look for is gone to hell— 90 
 •' Nay, never flart, man ! for it is fo : 
 •** Except one ill-bred wife or two 
 " The fafliion is for all to go. 
 " Not that file will be damn'd ; neVr fear 
 ** But (he may get preferment there. gs 
 
 ** Indeed ilie might be fry'd in pi:eh 
 
 V If ihe had been a bitter hitch ; 
 •^.If ihe had leapt athwart a fwnrd, 
 
 ** And afterwards had broke her word : 
 
 *' But your Eurydice, poor foul ' • icd) 
 
 *' Was a good-natur'd harmlefs foci ; 
 
 *' Except a little caterwauling;, 
 
 '* Was always painful in her calling •, 
 
 *' And T dare truft old Pkito for 't 
 
 *' She will find favour in his court. icj; 
 
 *' But then to fetch her back that Hill 
 
 V Remains, and may be pad my ^^-iH *> 
 *' For it is too fad a thing to jell on, 
 
 *' You 're the firft man e'er aik'd the quefl'on ; 
 
 ** For hufbands are fuch felfifh elves no 
 
 •' They care for little but themfclves : 
 
 ^* And then one rogue cries to another 
 
 *' Since this wiie is gone e'en get another : 
 
 *' Tho' mofi men let fuch thoughts alone, 
 
 " And f'n ear they 've had enough of one.. i rj
 
 "I 
 
 24 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 '* Eut rmc.t you are fo kind to Dice, 
 
 *' Follow the coiirie -which I advifc ye ; 
 
 *• E'en go to hell yourfelf and try 
 
 " Th' effe6l of mufick's harniony ; 
 
 " For you will hardly find a friend 
 
 ** Whom you in fuch a cafe might fend : 
 
 *' Befides, their Proferpinc has been 
 
 *' The brifl^eft dancer on the greep, 
 
 *' Before old Pluto ravifh'd her, 
 
 *' Took her to hell — and you may fwear 
 
 *' She had but little mufick there; 
 
 *' For fince (he laft beheld the fun 
 
 *' Her merry dancino; days are done : 
 
 *' She has a colt's tooth fliU I warrant, 
 
 *' And will not difapprove your errand : 1 30 
 
 ** Then your requefl. doesrcafon feem, 
 
 '* For what is one fingle ghoft to them ? 
 
 ** Tho' thoufand phantoms Ihould invade ye 
 
 " Pafs on — Faint heart ne'er won fair lady. 
 
 *' The bold a way will find or make ; 135 
 
 *' Remember it is for Dice's fake." 
 
 Nothing pleas'd Orpheus half fo well 
 As news that he muft go to hell. 
 Th' impatient wight long'd to be going, 
 As moft. folk fcek their own undoing; I4f 
 
 Ne'er tJiought of what he left behind, 
 Never confidcr'd he fliould find
 
 MISCELLANIES. 3^ 
 
 Scarce any palFcriger befide 
 
 Himfelf, nor C0uld he hire agnicle. ^ ■' / 
 
 *' Will ralifick do it .'" cry'd he. :^**>l»fe'er heed; 
 *' My harp fiiall make the p.iarble Weed'; 146 
 
 *' My harp alLdatr^rs fnall remove, 
 " And dare alLflariiesbut thofeoFlttve." 
 
 Then kneeling "begs in terms lAoilciVil 
 Urganda'ipaffport to the deviL" brn. ■-rr: jjo" 
 
 Her pafs flie kind-fy to him gavGy 'rr :'. 
 Then bad'him'noint feimfelf- with falve, 
 Such as thofe hardy peoole ufe 
 V/ho walk on fire without their flioes, 
 Who on occafion in a dark hole ' Ij5 
 
 Can gcrniandize.on' lighted cliarcoal, 
 And drink eight quarts of flaming foel, 
 As men in flux 'do watergracl . ' ; ■ ' i^' • . . : ' '' 
 She badihi'm thd'n go to thofccavts ' 
 Where conjurers k'cep Fairy fliives/ '•■ '■ '- • 16c 
 
 Such fort of creatures as will b^ftfe^ye ■' i '* 
 
 Akitchenwench for teeing naftyi ■ '* 
 
 But if Ihe neatly Ycour her pewfgfi' " 
 Give her t"he money that is dufei* hfer. 
 
 Orpheus went d'Ovvn a narrow hole 165 
 
 That was as dark as any coal ; . , . • 
 He did at lengthffome glinim'rin'g i^y, 
 Ey which at lead he Fniglitdefcr;^ .' > 
 Ten thoufand little. Fairy elves i ' 
 Who there were foia^ing themfelves. 1 70- 
 
 Vsho.^ie II. " C
 
 2$ MISCELLANIES. 
 
 All ran about him, cry'd, *' Oh dear! 
 *' Who thought to have feen Orpheus here f 
 •' 'Tis that queen's birthday which you fee, 
 ** And you are come as luckily : 
 *' You had no ballad but we bought it, 1^5 
 
 " Paid Dice when fhe little thought it : 
 *' When you beneath the yewtree fat 
 •* We 've come and all danc'd round your hat. 
 ** But whereabouts did Dice leave ye ? 
 ** She had been welcome, Sir, believe me." l8o 
 
 *' Thefe little chits would make one fwear," 
 Quoth Orpheus, 'twixt difdain and fear. 
 *' And dare thefe urchins jeer my croffes, 
 *' And laugh at mine and Dice's loffes .'' 
 " Hands off — the monkics hold the fafter : 185 
 
 ** Sirrahs ! I 'm going to your mailer." 
 
 " Good words," quoth Oberon ; " do n't flinch; 
 '' -For ev'ry time you ftir I '11 pinch ; 
 *' But if you decently fit down 
 
 ** 1 '11 firfl. equip you with a crown, I9P 
 
 *' Then for each dance and for each fong 
 *' Our pence apiece the whole night long." 
 
 Orpheus, who found no remedy, 
 Made virtue of neceflity ; 
 
 Tho' all was out of tune, their dance 1 95 
 
 Would only hinder his advance. 
 Each note that from his fingers fell 
 5ccni'd to be Dicfe's pafling-bell ;
 
 MISCELLATJIES. 27 
 
 At laft night let him eafe his crupper, 
 
 Get on his legs to go to fupper. 2C0 
 
 Quoth Nab, " We here have flrangers feldom, 
 " But, Sir, to what we have you 're welcome." 
 *' Madam, they fcem of light digeftion : 
 •' Is it not rude to afk a queition, 
 *' What they may be, fifh, flefh, or fruit ? 205 
 
 *' For I ne'er faw things To minute." 
 
 " Sir, a roafted ant that is nicely done 
 *' By one fmall atom of the fun. 
 ** Thefe are flies' eggs in m.oonfliine poach'd-; 
 *' This a flea's thigh in coUops Scotch'd ; 2 l<t 
 
 " 'Tvvas hunted yefterday i' th' Park, 
 " 4nd lilce t' have 'fcap'd us in the dark. 
 *' This is a difti entirely new, 
 *' Butterflies' brains difi'olv'd in dew ; 
 *' Thefe lovers' vows, thefe courtiers' hopes, 215 
 *' Thiugs to be eat by microfcopes; 
 ** Thele fucking mites, a glow-worm's heart, 
 *• This a delicious rainbow tart !" 
 
 " Madam, I find they 're very nice, 
 *' And will dlgeft within a trice ; 220 
 
 *' T fee there is nothing you efteem 
 *' That is half fo grofs as our whipt cream; 
 " And f infer from all thefe meats 
 *' That fuch light fuppers keep clean ftieets." 
 
 *' But, Sir," faid ftie, " perhaps you 're dry." 2Z5 
 Then fpeaking to a Fairy by, 
 
 Cij
 
 t8 MISCE.LLANIES1 
 
 ' ' You 'vc taken pare, my dear Endia ! 
 *' All is ready for my ratiSa." 
 
 " Sir, a drop of \V-ater newly torn 
 *' Frefli from the rcfy-finger'drvlorn, «30 
 
 " A pearl of milk, that is gently preA; 
 *' From blooming Hebe's early breafl, 
 *' With half a one of Cupid's tears 
 *' When he in embryo f:rfl appears, 
 *' And honey. from ah infant bee, 2^s 
 
 ** Makes liquor for the godsj and me!" 
 
 " Mudam," faysh'C, " an 't plcafe your Grace, 
 *' I 'm going to a droughty place, 
 •* And if I an't too bold, pray charge her . • ... 
 *' The draught I have be foniewhat larger.'*' '' '— 540 
 
 " Fetch me," faid ihe, " A mighty bowl, 
 *' Like Obcron's capacious foul, 
 " And then fill up the burnifh'd gold 
 " With juice that makes, the Britons bold. 
 *' This from fev'n barleycorns 1 drew, 24s 
 
 " Its years are fev'n, and to the view 
 " 'Tis clear, and fparkles fit for you. 
 
 " But ftay 
 
 '* When 1 by Fate was lafl time hurl'd 
 
 " To aft- my pranks in th' other vt^orld, 250 
 
 *' I faw fome fparks as they were drinking 
 
 *' With mighty mirth and little thinking 
 
 " Their ]e{is wcr cf./pernaculum, 
 
 *' 1 fnatch'd the rubies from each thumb, 
 
 }
 
 MISCELLANIES, %y 
 
 " And in this ciyftal have tliem here, 255 
 
 " Perhaps you '11 like it more than beer." 
 
 Wine and late hours diflulv'd the feafl, 
 And men and fairies went to reft. 
 
 The bed where Orpheus was to lie 
 Vv''as all ftufF'd full of harmony : 2^0 
 
 Purling ftreams and am'rous rills^ 
 Dying found that never kills, , 
 
 Zephyrus breathing, Love delighting^ 
 Joy to flumber foft inviting, 
 
 Trembling founds that make no noife, aCj 
 
 And fongs to pleafe without a voice. 
 Were mixt with down that fell from Jove 
 When he became a fwan for love. 
 
 'Twas night, and Nature's felf lay dead, 
 Nodding upon a featherbed ; 2 70 
 
 The mountains feem'd to bend their tops. 
 And fhutters clos'd the mill'ners' fhops, 
 Excluding both the punks and fops : 
 No ruffled ftreams to mill do come. 
 The filent fifii were ftill more dumb ; 1 S/J 
 
 Look in the chimney not a fpark there. 
 And darknefs did itfelf grow darker. 
 
 But Orpheus could not llee;-) a wink, 
 He had too many things to think ; 
 But in the dark his harp he ftrung, J^O 
 
 And to the lift'ning Fairies fung. 
 
 Ciij 
 
 I
 
 } 
 
 30 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Prince Prim, who pity'd fo much youth, 
 Join'd with fuch conllaiicy and truth, 
 Soon gave him thus to undtrftand : 
 
 *• Sir, I laft night receiv'd command 285 
 
 " To fee you out of Fairy Land 
 *SInto the realm of Nofnotbocai; 
 *' But let not fear pr fulphur choke ye; 
 *' Fpr he is a fiend of fcnfe and -wit, 
 *' And has got many rooms to let." 296 
 
 As quick as thought, by glow-worm glimpfe 
 Out walk the fiddler and the prince : 
 They foon arrive, find Bccai brewing 
 Of claret for a vintner's ftewing. 
 
 *' I come from Oberon," quoth Prince Prim. 295 
 
 " 'Tis well," quoth Eocai : " what from him 
 
 " Why, fomething ftrange. Thishoneil man 
 " Had his wife dy'd : now if he can 
 "He fays he 'd have her back again !" 
 
 Then Piocai fmiling cry 'd," You fee, 3CO 
 
 *' Orpheus, you 'd better flay with me; 
 t.' For let mc tell you. Sir, this place, 
 " Altho' it has an ugly face, 
 *' If to its value it were fold 
 
 '' Is worth ten thoufand ton of gold, $0^ 
 
 " And very famous in all llory, 
 *' Gall'd by the name of Purgatory. 
 *' For when fome ages fhall have run, 
 *' And Truth by Falfehood be undone, 
 " Shall rife the whore of Babylon, 310 
 
 I 
 
 ]
 
 MISCEtLANlES. 31 
 
 *' Anrl tins fame whore fhall be a man, 
 
 *' Who by his lies and cheating can 
 
 *• Be fuch a trader in all evil 
 
 ** As to outdo our friend the devil; 
 
 ** He and his pimps fhall fay, that v.heu 3 15 
 
 *• A man is dying, thither then 
 
 *' The devil comes to take the foul, 
 
 " And carry him down to this hole : 
 
 *' But if a man have flore of wealth, 
 
 ** To get fome pray'rs for his foul's health, 320 
 
 *' The devil has then no more to do, 
 
 *' But muft be forc'd to let him go : 
 
 " But we are no more fools than they 
 
 ** Thus to be bubbled of our prey. 
 
 *' By thefe fame pious frauds and lies 325 
 
 *' Shall many mpnafleries rife ; 
 
 *' Friars fliall get good meat and beer 
 
 '' To prayifolks out that ne'er came here ; 
 
 " Pans, pots, and kettles, Ihall be giv'n 
 
 *' To fetch a man from hence to heav'n. 330 
 
 *' Suppofe apian has taken paries,, :■.•-•. .. ' 
 
 ^* Or flolen (heep, or cows, or horfes, 
 
 *' And chances to be hung'd, you 'd cry 
 
 *' Let him be hang'd, and fo good-by. 
 
 " Hold, fays the friar ; let me aloije, ■^3-5 
 
 " He is hut to Purgutory gone ; 
 
 " And if you 'il let our convent keep 
 
 *' Thofe purles, cows, horfes, and llieep,
 
 } 
 
 51 MISCEILANJES. 
 
 *' The fellow {hall find no more pain 
 
 " Than if he were alive again." 34d 
 
 Here Orpheus figh'd, began to take on, 
 Cry'd, " Could I find the whore you fpake on 
 *' I 'd give him my beft flitch of bacon ; 
 ** I 'd give him cake and fugar'd fack 
 •• If he would bring my Dice back : 345 
 
 " Rather than Ihe fliould longer ilay 
 '* I *d find fome lully man to pray; 
 •' And then poor Dice, let him try her, 
 ** I dare fay would requite the friar." 
 
 Great Nofnotbocai fmil'd to fee 3^0 
 
 Such goodnefs and fimplicity ; 
 Then kindly led them to a cell, 
 An outward grandry of hell, 
 A filthy place, that is feldom fwept, 
 Where feeds of villany are kept. 255 
 
 ** Orpheus," faid he, *' 1 'd have you take 
 " Some of thefe feeds here for my fake, 
 *' Which if they are difcreetly hurl'd 
 *' Thro'out the parts of th* other world, 
 *' They may oblige the fiend you fue to, $60 
 
 " And fill the palace of old Pluto. 
 *' Sow pride feed uppermoft ; then above 
 *' Envy and fcandal plant felflove : 
 *' Here take revenge, and malice wichctit caufe, 
 ** And here contempt of honefty and laws ; 365 
 
 *' This hot feed's anger, and this hotter luft, 
 *' Befl fown with breach of friendlhip and of trad :
 
 MISCELLANIES.. -^ 
 
 *' Thefe llorm, hail, plague, an^tempell i'eeds, 
 
 *' And this a quinieffence of weeds ; 
 
 *' This the worft fort of artichoke, 37© 
 
 *' A plant that Pluto has himfelf befpoke ; 
 
 *' Nouriiliitwell, itisufeful treachery; 
 
 *' This is ^ choice tho' little feed, a lie : 
 
 *' Here take fome now from thefe prodigious loads • 
 
 *' Of tender things that look like toads : 3 75 
 
 *' In future times thefe finely dreft 
 " Shall each invade a prince's breaft ; 
 
 *' 'Tis flatt'ry feed ; tho' thinly fown "> 
 
 *' It is amighty plant when grown, V 
 
 '' When rooted deep and fully blowa :- ;■ 380J 
 " Now fee thefe things like.bubble^ %,. :: 
 
 ^' Thefe are the feeds of vanity : 
 
 *' Take tyrant acorns, v.'hich will heft advance • 
 
 ** If fown in eaflern climates or in France ; 
 
 *' But thefe a^e things of nioft prodigious hopes 
 
 *' They 'te Jefuit bulbs ty'd up with rqpes, . 3H6 
 
 *' And thefe the devil's grafts fur future Popes, 
 
 " Which with fanaticifm are join'd fo clean 
 
 "" You 'd fcarce believe a knife had pafs'd between : 
 
 *' Falfewitnefs feed had almoll been forgot, 390 
 
 . *' 'Twill be your making fhould there be a plot. 
 *' And now, dear Orpheus! fcatter thefe but well, 
 *' And.you '11 dcferve the gratitude of hell." 
 
 Quoth Orpheus, " You Ihallbe obey'd 
 *' In ev'ry thing that you have faid, 395 
 
 ■" For mifchief is the poet's trade ; 
 
 ] 
 
 ]
 
 34 MISCELLANIES, 
 
 •' And whatfoever they {hall bring 
 
 *' You may affure yourfclf I '11 fmg;. 
 
 *' But pray what poets fhall we have 
 
 " At my returning from the grave ?" 4CO 
 
 ** Sad dogs!" quoth Eocai. — ** Let me fee — 
 ** But fmce what I fay cannot Ihame them 
 ** I '11 e'en refolve to never name them." 
 
 *' But now," fays Bocai, " Sir, you may 
 *' Long to be going on your way, 405 
 
 *' Unltfs you '11 drink fome arfenick claret ; 
 ** 'Tis burnt, you fee; but Sam can fpare it." 
 
 Orpheus reply'd, " Kind Sir ! it is neither 
 •• Brandy nor whets that brought me hither, 
 ** But love ; and 1 an inftance can be 4X0 
 
 ** Love is as hot as pepper'd brandy ; 
 *' Yet, gentle Sir! you may command 
 *' A tune from a departing hand ; 
 *' The llyle and paflion both are good, 
 * ' 'Tis The Three Children in the Wood." 415 
 
 He fang, and pains themfelves found cafe; 
 For griefs when well exprefs'd can pleafe. 
 When he defcrib'd the children's lofs, 
 And how the Robins cover'd them with mofs, 
 To hear the pity of thofe birds 420 
 
 Ev'nBocai'stearsfclldnwn With Orpheus' words, ^<r.
 
 MISCELLANIES. ^S 
 
 BRITAIN'S PALLADIUM, 
 
 OR, LORDBO LI NGBROKe'sWELCOME FROM FRANCE*. 
 
 " Et thure, et fiwibiis Javat 
 
 " Placare, et vituli fanguinedebito 
 
 *' Cuttodes Numidae Dens." 
 
 Uar.lib. I. Od. xxxvi. ad Vomponium Numidam, ob 
 Ciiiu! ex lllfpaiiiu rcdditiim tu-'.Uo rxultnt. 
 
 W' HAT noife is this thatinterrupts my fleep ? 
 
 What echoing ftiouts rife from the briny deep ? 
 
 Neptune a folemn feftival prepares. 
 
 And peace thro' all his flowing orb declares : 
 
 That dreadful trident which he us'd to (liake, 5 
 
 Make earth's foundaaons and Jove's palace quake, 
 
 Now by his fide on oozy couch reclin'd, 
 
 Gives a fmooth furfacc and a gentle wind : 
 
 Innumerable Tritons lead the way. 
 
 And crowds of Nereids round his chariot play : lO 
 
 The ancient fea gods with attention wait 
 
 To learn what ie now the lafl: refult of Fate; 
 
 What earthly monarch Neptune now decrees 
 
 Alone his great vicegerent of the feas. 
 
 By an aufpicious gale Britannia's fieet IJ 
 
 On Gallia's coail this Hiining triumph meet ; 
 
 * Lord Bolingbroke fet out for France (accompanied by Mr, 
 Hare, one of his Underfecretaries, Mr. Prior, and the Abbe 
 C ualtier} Aug. zd, and arrived again in London Aug. ^ 1 It 1 7 1 a.
 
 36 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Thefe pomps divine their mortal fenfefurprife. 
 Loud to the ear, and dazzling to the eyes, 
 Whilft fcaly Tritons with their (hells proclaim 
 The names that muft furvivc to future fame, 20 
 
 And nymphs their dFadcms of pearl prepare 
 For monarchs who to purchafe peace make war. 
 Then Neptune his majeftick filence broke, 
 And to thetremblingfailors mildly fpoke; . - 
 
 *' Thro'out the world Britannia's flat'; difplay ; 35 
 *' 'Tis my command \Kat SU the <j!obe obey : 
 *' Let Britifti Itreamers wave their heads on high-, 
 *' Anddread no foe beheath Jove's azute'lky. ' "• 
 
 *' The reft let Nereus tell." — ' ' 
 
 . •' If 1 have truth," lays Nereus, ** and forcfec 30 
 •' The intricate dcfigns of Deftiny, 
 *' I, that have view'd whatever fleets have rode 
 *' With fliQrpen'd-keek to cut the yielding flond, 
 *' 1, that could weigh the fates of Circece and Romei 
 ** Phoenician wealth and Carthaginian diionii 2)$ 
 " Muft: furely know what in the womb of time 
 *' Was forcordain'd for Britain's happy clime ; 
 •' How wars upon the wat'ry realms (hall ceafe, 
 " And Anna give the world a glorious peace ; 
 •< Reftorc the fpicy tfaflick of the Eaft, 40 
 
 *' And ftrerch her empire to the dillant Weft ; 
 " Her fleets defcry Aurora's purple bed, 
 " And Phttlui' ftecds after their labour^ fed ;
 
 MISCELLANIES. 37 
 
 '* The fouthem coafts, to Britain fcarcely known, 
 *' Shall grow as hofpitable as their own ; 45 
 
 * ' No monllers fhall be feign'd to guard their {lore 
 *' When Britilh trade fccures their golden ore ; 
 " The fleecy product o£ the Corfwold field 
 *' Shall equal what Peruvian mountains yield; 
 *' Iron fliail there intrinhck value fhow, 50 
 
 ** And by Vulcanian artxViore precious gr&w. 
 h *' Britannia's royal fifhery {hail be 
 **'Improv'd by a kind guardian deity ; 
 ^' That mighty tafli: to Chiucus v/c aflign, 
 ** Of more impottatice than the riche{l: mine ; SS 
 *' He fiiall direiS'tbem howto ftrikc the whale, 
 *f H6w;to avoid the danger, when prevail; 
 '1- What treafure lies upon tlVe frozen coa{l 
 "; Not yet explor'd, nor negligently lo{]:. 
 
 " In va{i Acadia's plains,' new theme for fame, 60 
 *' Towns fhall be built facredto Anna's * name ; 
 '* The filver fir and'lofty pine {liall rife 
 *' From Britain's own united Colonies, 
 ** Which to the mall Ihall canvafs wings afford, 
 " And pitch to flrengthen the unfaithful board ; 6^ 
 *' Norway may then her naval {lores withhold, 
 " And proudly {larre for want of Britifh gold. 
 
 *' O happy lile ! to fuch advantage plac'd 
 
 " That all the world is hy-thycounfels grae'd; 
 
 * Annapolis; the capital-df Nova Scotia.
 
 38 MnCELLAMEf. 
 
 *' Thy nation's genius with induftrious arts -70 
 
 " Renders thee lovely to remoteft parts. 
 
 *' Eliza firfb the fable fcene withdrew, 
 
 *' And to the ancient world difplay'd the new; 
 
 " When Burleigh at the helm of ftate wasfeen, 
 
 ** The truefl fubjcd to the greateft queen, 75 
 
 *' The Indians from the Spanifh yoke made free 
 
 " Blefs'd the efFeas of Engiifh hberty; 
 
 * ' Drake round the world hisfov'reign'shonour fpread 
 
 *' Thro' ftraits and gulfs immcnfe her fame convey'd : 
 
 ** Nor refts inquiry here ; his curious eye 80 
 
 *' Defcries new coallellations in the iky, 
 
 '* In which vaft fpace ambitious mariners 
 
 *' Might place their names on high, and chiife their 
 
 " Raleigh with hopes of new difcov'ries fir'd, [ftars. 
 
 *' And all the depths of human wit isfpir'd, 85 
 
 " Rov'd o'er the VVcftern world in fearch o.f fame, 
 
 " Adding frcfh glory to Eliza's name; 
 
 '* Subdu'd new empires, that will records be 
 
 ** Immortal of a quee/i's virginity *. 
 
 " But think not, Albion, that thy fons decay, 90 
 *' Or that thy princes have lefs pow'r to fway ; 
 *' Whatever in Eliza's reign wasfeen 
 *' With a redoubled vigour fprings again ; 
 ** Imperial Anna {hall the feas control, 
 •* And fpread her naval laws from pole to pole: 95- 
 ♦ Alluding to tlie firft fetyement of Virginia.
 
 MISCELLAN'IES. 39 
 
 *' N6T think her conclu(5l: or her counfels lefs 
 
 *' In arts o£ war or treaties for a peace, 
 
 " In thrifty management of Britain's wealth, 
 
 *' Embezzled lately, or purloin'd by ftealth. 
 
 *' No nation can fear want or dread furprife ico 
 
 " Where Oxford's prudence Burleigh's lofs fupplies: 
 
 *' On him the publick moft fecurely leans 
 
 *' To eafe the burthen of the bell of queens ; 
 
 *' On him the merchants fix their longing eyes 
 
 *' When war Ihall ceafe and Britif.i commerce rife. 
 
 " Alcides' ftrength and Atlas' firmer mind io6 
 *' To narrow flraits of Europe were confin'd : 
 *' The Britifli failors from their Royal 'Change 
 *' May find a nobler liberty to range : 
 *' Oxford fhall be their poleftar to the South, I TO 
 *' Aiid there reward the efforts of their youth, 
 " Whence thro' his conduA traffick fhall increafe 
 *' Ev'ntothofefeaswhich take their namefrom peace*, 
 
 *' Peace is the found mull glad the Britons' ears. 
 •* But fee the noble Bclingbroke appears; 115 
 
 *' Gefture compos'd and looks ferene declare 
 *' Th' approaching ilTuc of a doubtful war. 
 " Now my cerulean race hf^ in the deep 
 " Shall hear no cannons' roar dillurb their lleep, 
 *' But fmootheft tides and the mo'T: halcyon o-i.ies 
 ** Shall to their port dired Britannia's fails. 121 
 
 * The PaciP.ck occar. 
 
 Dij
 
 40 MISCELLANI'S:. 
 
 *' Ye Tritons ! fons of gods, it is my command * 
 *' That you fee Bolingbroke in fafcty land ; 
 *' Your, concave fhclls for fofteft. notes prepare, 
 * ' Whilfl, Echo fhall re}>eat the gentleft air ; 1 25 
 
 ** The river gods fliall there yoar triumphs meet, 
 *' And in old Ocean mix'd your hero greet ; " 
 
 " Thames Ihallfta'nd-wond'ringjlfis (hall rejoice," 
 " And both in tuneful numbers raife their voice; 
 " I'hc rapid Mcdway and thefertiie Trent ^30 
 
 " In fwiftcft flreams confcfs their true content; 
 *' Avon and Severn Ihallin raptures. join, 
 *' And Fame convey them to the northern Tine : 
 << Tweed then no more the Britons lliall divide, 
 '* But peace and plenty flow on either fide; 135 
 
 *' "Triumphs proclaim, and mirth and jovial feafts, 
 ** And all the world invite for welcome guefts." 
 
 Fadion, that thro' the land fo fatal fprcad. 
 No more Ihall dare to rife het Hydra's head, 
 ] Jut ail her votaries in fiience mourn I40 
 
 The happinefs of Bohngbroke's return : ' 
 
 Par from the common pitch, he fhall arife 
 With great defigns to dazzle Envy's eyes ; . 
 Search deep to know of Whiggifii plots the fource, 
 Their ever turning fchemes and reftlefs courfe. 145 
 
 Who (liail hereafter Britilh annals read 
 But will refledl with wonder on this deed ? 
 How artfully Iiis condu(?i: overcame 
 A llubborn racaand quench'd a raging flame;
 
 MlSCELLA^JiEg. 4I 
 
 Retrieved tlie Britons from unruly idte, IJO 
 
 And overthrew the Phaetons of (late ! 
 Thefe wife exploits thro' Gallia's nation ran, 
 And fir'd their fouls to fee the wondrous man : 
 The aged counfellors without furprife 
 Found wit and prudence fparkling- in his eyes ; I55 
 Wifdom that was not gain'd in courfe of years, 
 Or rev'rence owing to his hoary hairs. 
 But ftruck by force of genius, fuch as drove 
 The goddefs Pallas from the brain of Jove. 
 The youth of France with pleafure look'd to fee l6o 
 His graceful mien and beauteous fymmetry : 
 The virgins ran as to unufual (how 
 When he to Paris came and Fontainbleau, 
 Viewing the blooming minifler defir'd, 
 And ftilhthe more they gaz'd the more admir'd.165 
 Nor did the Court, that beft true grandeur knows, 
 Their fentiments by leffer facfts difclofe, 
 By common pomp or ceremonious train 
 Seen heretofore, or to be feen again; 
 But they devis'd new honours yet unknown, 17c 
 Or paid to any fubjedl: of a crown. 
 • The Gallick king, in age and counfels wife, 
 Sated with war, and weary of difguife, 
 With open armsfalutes the Britifli peer, 
 And gladly owns his prince and character. 175 
 
 As Hermes from the throne of Jove dcfccnds 
 With grateful errand to Heav'n's ch. : til friends, 
 
 Diij
 
 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 As Iris from the bed of Juno flies 
 
 To bear her queen's commands rhro' yielding fide?, 
 
 WhiLl o'er her wings frefn beams of glory flow,i8o 
 
 And blended colours paint her wondrous bow ; 
 
 So Bolingbrc^.c appears in Louis' fight 
 
 ^Vith nu'ii:r.ge heav'nly, and with equal light 
 
 Difpcls.sU clouds of doubt and fear of wars, 
 
 And in his miflrefs' name for peace; declares : 185 
 
 Accents divine! which the great king receives 
 
 With the fame grace that mighty Anna gives. 
 
 Let others boail of blood, the fpoil of foes, 
 Rapine and murder, and of endlefs woes, 
 Dstefled pomp ! and trophies gain'd from far, 190 
 With fpanglcd enfigns fti-eaniing in the air; 
 Count how they made Bavarian fubjedis feel 
 The rage of fire and edge of harden'd flcel ; 
 Fatal effe<5ts of foul infatiate pride, 
 That deal their wounds alike on either fide, 1 95 
 
 No limits fet to their ambitious ends,^ 
 For who bounds them no longer can be friends ; 
 By tilfF'rent methods Bolingbroke Ihall raife 
 His growing honours and immortal praife. 
 
 He, fir'd with glory and the publick good, 2CO 
 Ectwixt the people and their danger flood : 
 Arm'd with convincing truths he did appear, 
 And all he iaidwas fparkling, bright, and clear. 
 The lift'ning Senate with attention heard, 
 And fome admir'd while others trembling fear 'd;
 
 MISCELLANIES. 43 
 
 Not from the tropes of formal eloquence, io6 
 
 JJut Dernofthenickllrcngth and weight of fenfe, 
 Such as fond Oxford to her fon fupply'd, 
 Defign'd her own as v/ell as Britain's pride ; 
 Who, lefs beholden to the ancient ftrains, aio 
 
 Might ihew a nobler blood in Engliih vein5, 
 Outdo whatever Homer fwcetly fung 
 Of Ncflor's counfels or UlylTes' tongue. 
 
 Oh ! all ye Nymphs ! whilil; time and youth allow 
 Prepare the rofe and lily for his brow. 1 15 
 
 Much he has done, but flill has more in view, 
 To Anna's int'reft and his country true. 
 More I could prophefy, but mufl refrain : 
 Such truths would make another mortal vain. 219
 
 THE EAGLE AND THE ROBIN. 
 
 ^ri Apologue tranf.aiid from the original of JEfi.p^ ivrbi- 
 tcn tivo thoufand Tears fince, and noiv rendered infami- 
 narVerfehy H. G. L. Mag. 
 
 Good precepts and true gold are tnore valu?.bk for 
 their antiquity; and here I prcfent my good reader 
 with one delivered by the firft founder of mythology, 
 _flIfop himfelf. Maxin-.us Planudes takes notice of it 
 as a very excellent part of his produiflion ; and Pha;- 
 drus, Camerarius, and others, feem to agree that his 
 Eagle, and five others not yet tranflatcd, are equal to 
 any of his that are handed down to us. '] hough Mr. 
 Oglehy and Sir Roger L'Eftrangc had the unhappi- 
 Jiefstobe unacquainted with them, yet ! had thegcod 
 fortune to difcover them by tlie removal of my old li- 
 brary, which has made me amends for the trouble of 
 getting to where 1 now teach. They were written, 
 ordidatedatleaftjby^fopin the fifty-fourth Olym- 
 piad ; and though 1 defigned them chiefly for the ufe 
 «)fmyfchool,(thisbeingtranfiatedbyayouthdefigned 
 for a Greek profeffor) yet no man is io wife as not to 
 need inflrudtion, ay, and by the way of fable too, 
 ixncc the Holy Scriptures thtnifelves, thebeftinftruc- 
 tcrs, teach us by way of parable, fymbcl, image, and 
 figure : and David was more moved with Nathan's 
 " Thou art the man," than all the moft rigid letf^ures 
 in the world would have dene. Whoever will be ac
 
 MISCELLANIES. 4'^ 
 
 the trouble of comparing this verfion with the origi- 
 nal, let them begin at the tenth Eiie,, and they "will 
 find it metaphralncally done 'verbum-vcrLo^ as the bell 
 way of juftice to tlie author. Thofe that are mere 
 adorers of i'Xcx Koyoi v/ill not be angry that it isinthis 
 fort of metre, for which I gave leave, the lad havin* 
 a turn to this fort of meafure, which is plealant and 
 agreeable, though not lofty. For my own part, I con- 
 cur with my niafter Ariftotle that pvby.o<,- g iif-uov^azre 
 very far from being unncceffary or unpleafant. May 
 this be of ufe to thee, and it "will pleafe thine in all 
 
 gOodwifhes, '• HORAT.okAM.
 
 4<S 
 
 MISCELtANlES. 
 
 } 
 
 THE EAGLE AND THE ROBIN. 
 
 A Lady * liv'd in farmer days 
 That well deferv'd the utmoft praife, 
 For greatnefs, birth, and juftice, fam'd, 
 And ev'ry virtue could be nam'd, 
 Which made her courfe of life fo cv'n 
 That (he is a faint (if dead) in heav'n. 
 
 This lady had a little feat 
 Juft like a palace it was fo neat, 
 From aught but goodnefs her retreat. 
 
 One morning, in her giving way, lO 
 
 As was her cufloni cv'i y day. 
 To cheer the poor, the fick, and cold, 
 Or with appaicl, food, or gold, 
 There came a gazing ftranger by 
 On whom flie quickly call an eye. 15 
 
 The man admiring made a (land; 
 He had a bird upon his hand : 
 " What is that," fays fhe, " that hangs its head .' 
 ** Sinking and faint ! it is almoft dead.** 
 *• Madam, aRedbrcafl that I found, 20 
 
 ** By this wet fcafon almoft drown'd." 
 
 * Queen Anne. If the reader recollcfts the change wliich 
 flic made in her mhiift.! y in 1 709, the year in whicli tliis poetn 
 was wi itten, and loDks intd our Authors P.nfinus, or. The Fa- 
 voutJte, the j>uliticjl moral of tliis apologue will appear evi- 
 ocut.
 
 1 
 
 MISCELLANIES. 47 
 
 " O ! bring him in and keep him warm ; 
 
 *' Robins do never any harm." 
 
 1'hey foon obey'd, and chopt him meat, 
 
 Gave him whatever he would eat ; 2$ 
 
 I'he lady care herfelf did take, 
 
 And made a neft for Robin's fake: 
 
 But he perkt up into her chair, 
 
 In which he plenteoufly did fare, 
 
 AfTuming quite another air. 30 
 
 The neighbours thought when this they fpy'd 
 
 The world well mended on his fide. 
 
 With welltun'd throat he whiUled long, 
 And ev'ry body lik'd his fong. 
 
 *' At laft," faid they, " this little thing 25 
 
 *' Wai kill itfelf fo long to fing; 
 " We '11 clofet him, among the reft 
 *■' Of thofe my lady loves the beft " 
 They little thought that faw him come 
 That Robins were fo quarrelfome. 49 
 
 The door they open'd, in he pop.s, 
 And to the higheft perch he hops } 
 The party-colour'd birds he chofe. 
 The gold finches, and fuch as thofe; 
 With them he 'd peck, and bill, and feed, 4* 
 
 And very well (at times) agreed : 
 Canary birds were his delight, 
 With them he 'd tcte-a-tcte all night j
 
 ](%, MISCLLLANIES. 
 
 But the brown linnets v/ent to pot ; 
 
 He kiU'd them all upon the fpot. 3 o 
 
 The fervauts were cniploy'd each day 
 brftcad of work to part fome fray, 
 And wifh'd the awkward fellow curll 
 That brought him to niy lady firfl : 
 At laft they all rcfolv'd ujion it ; 55 
 
 S<5me way to tell my lady on it. i^doylyv u I 
 
 ' Meanwhile he 'd had a noble fwing, ■ '"'^ '' 
 
 N And rul'd jufl. like the Gallick king ; 
 Having kiU'd or wounded all 
 
 Unlcfsth^ Eagle in the hall, 60 
 
 With whom he durfl bnt only jar, C v.- i'm\ 
 
 He being the very foul of war, ,ilBl JA *"* 
 
 But hated him for his deftrt, ■•:^ i^iV/ '» 
 
 And bore him malice at his heart. • ' '^^^^ *' 
 
 This Eagle was my lady's pride, 65 
 
 The guardian fafety of her f.JJeV 
 He often brought home foreigfi prey, * -' 
 
 Which humbly at her feet lli^la'}'; . . T 
 
 For colour, pinions, and ftaturcj 
 The fairefl: workmanfhip of Nature ; 
 'Twould do one good to fee him move, 
 So full of grandeur, grace, and love ; 
 He was indeed a bird for Jove. 
 He foar'd aloft in Briicum's field, ^ 
 
 And thoufand kites and vulcures kill'd, '7^ 
 
 3 
 
 I
 
 MISCELLANIES. 49 
 
 Which made him dear to all that flew, 
 Unlefs to Rcbin and his crew. 
 
 One day poor Bob, puff 'd up with pride, 
 Thinking the combat to abide, 
 A goofeqtiill on for weapon ty'd, 80 
 
 Knowing by ufe that now and then 
 A fword lefs hurt does than a pen. 
 
 As for example — What at home 
 You 've well contriv'd to do at Rome 
 A pen blows up — before you come. Z^ 
 
 You are fuppos'd to undermine 
 The foe — -in fome immenfc delign. 
 A pen can bite you with a line ; 
 There is forty ways to give a fign. 
 
 Well — all on lire away he llalk'd, 90 
 
 Till come to — whci-e the Eagle walk'd. 
 
 Bob did not fnili-1-fliall-I go. 
 Nor faid one word of friend or foe, 
 But flirting at him made a blow, 
 As gamecocks with their gantlets do ; 95 
 
 At which the Eagle gracefully 
 Caft a difdaining fparkling eye. 
 As who fliould fay — " What is this, a fly ? 
 But no revenge at all did take ; 
 
 He fpar'd him for their lady's fake, ICO 
 
 Who ponder'd thofe thinsrs in her mind, 
 And took th' condudlcf th' Eagle kind. 
 Folume IL E 
 
 I
 
 fO MlSCELtANfiS. 
 
 Upon refledlion now — to fhow 
 
 What harm the leaft of things may da, 
 
 jVIad P-obin with.his curfed flirt loj 
 
 One of the Eagle's * eyes h:id hurt, 
 
 InflaniM it, made it red and fore, 
 
 But the affront infiam'd it more. 
 
 Oh, how the family did tear! 
 
 To fire the houfe could fcarce forbear : i lo 
 
 "With fcorn not pain the Eagle fir'd 
 
 Murmur'd difdain, and fo retir'd. 
 
 Robin to offer fome relief . 
 In words like ihcfe would heal their grief: 
 *' Should ih' Eagle die (which Heav'n iorbid!) 115 
 " We ought fome other to provide. 
 *' I do not fay that any now 
 *'• Are fit, but in .a year or two ; 
 •* And fhould this mighty warriour fall 
 '^ They fhould not want a general." 120" 
 
 As men have long obferv'd that one 
 Misfortune feldora comes alone, 
 Juft in the moment this was done 
 Ten thoufand foes in fight were come; 
 ■y ultures and kites, and birds of prey, 1 2J 
 
 In flocks fo thick — they darken'd day. 
 A long-concerted force and ftrong, 
 Vermine of all kinds made the thrang ; 
 
 * O.rSaXy©' amonga the Greeks flgiiifiti " Kcnour jl$ 
 ** tender as the eye." A/w^.
 
 MISCELLANIES. Jl 
 
 Foxes were in the fadtion jolri'd, 
 
 Who waited their approach to ground. 130 
 
 By ev'ry hand from common fame 
 The frightftd face of danger came. 
 One crie«, " What help ncv/ — -who can tell ? 
 '* I 'm glad the Eagle is here and well!" 
 Another out of breath with fear 13^ 
 
 Says " Thcufands more near fea appear ; 
 " They '11 fweep our chicken from the door; 
 ** We never were fo fet'before : 
 *' We 're glad the Eagle will forget, 
 *' And the invaders kill or beat." I40 
 
 Referv'd and great,. his noble mind, 
 Above all petty things inclin'd, 
 Abhorr'd the thoughts of any thing 
 But what his lady's- peace could bring. 
 Who blefs'd him firft, and bad him do I45 
 
 As he was wiont^ and beat the foe. 
 
 Burning and r&ftlefs-as the fun 
 Umll this willing work was done. 
 He whets his talons, ilretch'd his wings. 
 His lightening darts, and terrour flings, I5C 
 
 Tbw'rs with a flight into the fey 
 Theie million monfters to defcry, 
 Pr,epar'd to conquer or to die. 
 
 The party that fo far was come 
 Thought not tlie Eagle was at home ; 15^ 
 
 Eij 
 
 I
 
 5X MISCELLANIE?. 
 
 To fame and danger us'd in field 
 
 They knew he 'd quickly make them yield : 
 
 But on aflurance he was near, 
 
 Incumber'd, faint, and dead with fear. 
 
 They made with hurry tow'rds the lakes, l6o 
 
 And he his pinions o'er them fliakes. 
 
 They had not (with fuch hcrrour fiU'd) 
 
 The courage to let one be kill'd : 
 
 They fled, and left no foe behind 
 
 Unlefs it were the fleeting wind ; 165 
 
 Only— a man by water took 
 
 Two fine young merlins and a rook. 
 
 The family had now repofe. 
 But with the fun the Eagle rofe ; 
 Th' imperial bird purfu'd the foe, 170 
 
 More toil than rtft inur'd to know. 
 He wing'd his way to Latian land 
 Where firft was hatch'd this murd'ring band ; 
 He darted death where'er he came, 
 Some of them dying at his name. I y^ 
 
 Their mighty foe — a fatal pledge, 
 Their bowels tore thro' ev'ry hedge ; 
 They flutter, fliriek, and caw, and hifs. 
 Their ftrength decays and fears increafe, 
 But moft the chevaliers the geefe. 1 80 , 
 
 So many flaughter'd fowl there was 
 Their carcaffes block'd up the ways j 
 
 ]
 
 I 
 
 MISCELLANIES. $^ 
 
 Tlie reft he drove, half fpent, peUniell, 
 Quite to the Nvalls cf Poncifeil. 
 
 Robin at hoaie, the' mad to hear 
 He fhou'd fo cnnquer evr'ry where, 
 ■"Expoftulated thus with fear : J 
 
 *' Ungrateful I that fo have (lirr'd 
 *' Againil this gen'rous n&ble bird : , 
 
 " Waft thou not firft by him preferr'd ? 190 J 
 
 *' Let 's leave him in his gall to burn, 
 *^ v\nd back to Pontifeltreturn." 
 
 There feme to chimneytops afpire, 
 To turrets fome that couid fiy higher ; 
 Some 'bove a hundred miles were gone 155 
 
 To rooft them at Byzantium. 
 Alas ! in vain was their prfetence; 
 He broke tb.ro' all their ftrong defence-: 
 Down went their fences, wires, and all ; 
 Perches and birds together fall. 2co 
 
 None hop'd his povv-er to Withftand, 
 But gave the neft to his command ; 
 They told him of ten thoufand more 
 In Eocks along the Ganges' fhore, 
 Safe in their furrovirs, free from trouble, 205 
 
 Like partridges among the ftubble. 
 He fpreads himfelf and cuts the air, 
 And fteady flight foon brought him there. 
 JiOrd, how dcceiv'd and ve:^'d he was 
 Tu find they were but mere jackdaws ! 2I3
 
 54 MISCELLANlEji 
 
 A hundred thoufand all in flight, 
 
 They all could chatter, not one fight. 
 
 *' I '11 deal by them as is their due : 
 
 ** Shough!" cry'd the Eagle; " off they fltw :" 
 
 His fiafliing eyes their heart confounds, 21 S 
 
 The' by their flight fecure from wounds, 
 
 Which was a fignal, fatal baulk 
 
 To a late fwift Italian hawk. , 
 
 The Eagle would no reft afford 
 TiU he had fent my lady word, 0,20 
 
 Who when fhe heard the dear furprifc 
 Wonder and joy ftood in her eyes. 
 
 * ' My faithful Eagle ! haft thou then 
 *' My mortal foes deftroy'd again ? 
 ** Return, return, and on me wait ; 22_5 
 
 *• Be thou the guardian of my gate : 
 *' Thee and thy friends arc worth my care ; 
 ** Thy foes (if any fuch there are) 
 " Shall my avenging anger fhare." 
 So — ^left new ills fliou'd intervene %20 
 
 She turn'd the Robin out again. 
 , The Samians now in vaft delight 
 Blefs their good lady day and night, 
 Wifli that her life might ne'er be done^ 
 But evtrlafting as the fun, 235 
 
 1'he Eagle high again did foar, 
 The lady was difturb'd no more. 
 But all things flourifli'd as before. 238 
 
 } 
 
 I
 
 MISCELLANIES. 55 
 
 ROBIN REDBREAST, WITH THE BEASTS, 
 
 AN OLD cat's prophecy*; 
 
 7jken out of -an old Copy of Verfcs fuppofed to he ivr'it l^ 
 John Lidgate^ a Monk of Bury. 
 
 One that had in her infant ftate, 
 
 \Vhile playing at her father's gate, 
 
 Seen and was moll hugely fmitten 
 
 With young Dog and dirty Kitten, 
 
 Had took them up and lugg'd them in, 5 
 
 And made the fervants waih them cleaa. 
 
 When fhe to a fit age was grown 
 To be fole miftrefs ot her own, 
 Then to her favour and flrange truft 
 She rais'd thefe two; in rank the firfl IQ 
 
 The Dog, who with gilt collar grac'd 
 Strutted about. The Cat was plac'd 
 O'er all the houfe to domineer. 
 And kept each wight of her in fear, 
 While he o'er all the plains had pow'r, 1$ 
 
 That favage wolves might not devour 
 Her flocks. She gave him charge great care 
 To take ; but beads uncertain are! 
 
 Now fee by thefe what troubles rife 
 To thofe who in their choice unwife 10 
 
 * The rolitlcal drift of this pretended Prophecy is ftill more 
 evident than that of the preceding poem, the fatire beitigabuB' 
 duiiily more perfona.1.
 
 I 
 
 56 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Put truft; in fuch; for he foon join'd; 
 
 With beaft of prey tho Dog combin'd, 
 
 Who kill'd tlie Sheep and tore the Hind, 
 
 While he would ftand, and grin, and bark, 
 
 Concealing thus his dealings dark. 25 
 
 A Wolf or fo fometimes he 'd take, 
 
 And then O whac a noifc he 'd makt^l 
 
 But with wild beafts o'errun yet are 
 
 The plains; fome die for want of fare. 
 
 Or torn or kill'd : the ftiepherds find Z^ 
 
 Each day arc loft of ev'iy kind. 
 
 Thy filly Sheep lament in vain ; 
 Of their h,ard fate not him complain. 
 The fliepherds and the fervants all 
 /^gainft the traitor loudly bawl: 3S 
 
 But there was none that dar'd to tell 
 Their lady what to them bcfel ; 
 For Puis a Fox of wondrous art 
 Brough-t in to help andtake their part. 
 By whofe afiiftance to deceive 4^ 
 
 She made her ev'ry lie believe. 
 
 One lucky day when fhe was w^alking 
 In her woods, with fervants talking. 
 And ftopp'd to hear how very well 
 A Redbreafl fung, then him to dwell 45 
 
 With her flie call'd. He came, and took 
 His place next to a fuv'rite Rook, 
 Where Robin foon began to fing 
 wuch longs as made thg houfe to rins; ;
 
 MISCELLANIES. 57 
 
 He fung the lofs and death of Sheep 50 
 
 In notes that made the lady weep ; 
 
 How for his charge the Dog unfit 
 
 Took part with foes, and fhepherds hit ; 
 
 Ev'n from his birth he did him trace. 
 
 And fhew him cur of flaabby race ; $S 
 
 The firft by wand'ring beggars fed, 
 
 His fire advanc'd turn'd fpit for bread ; 
 
 Himfelf each trufl had ftill abus'd; 
 
 To fteal what he fliou'd guard was us'd 
 
 From puppy; known where'er he came 60 
 
 Both vile and bafe, and void of lliame. 
 
 The Cat he fung, that none could match 
 For venom'd fpite or cruel fcratch ; 
 That from a witch transform'd fhe came. 
 Who kitten'd three of equal fame : 6$ 
 
 This firft one dead, of tabby fur 
 The third furvives; much noife of her 
 Had been ; a Cat well known ; with eafe 
 On etrands dark o'er land and feas 
 She 'd journies take to cub of Bear, 70 
 
 From thefe intriguing beafts, who fwear 
 They '11 bring him to defend the wrong. 
 That they have done. Again he fung 
 How Tabby once in moonlight night 
 Trotted with letter Fox did write, 77 
 
 In which he fends his beft refpedls 
 To the fhe bear, and thus direcSts :
 
 58 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 " Madam," faid he, " your cub fafe fend, 
 
 ** None fliall his worfnip foon oifend ; 
 
 *' It is all I can at prelent do 80 
 
 *' To ferve him, as his friends well know." 
 
 At this the Eealhs grew in fuch rage 
 That none their fury cou^d afTuage ; 
 Nay, Puf» her lady would have fcratch'd, 
 And tore her eyes, but fhe was watch'd ; 85 
 
 For ihe 'd fet up her back and mew, 
 And thrice ev'n in her face fne flew. 
 The Dog, like an ungrateful fpark, 
 At her wou'd dare to fnari and bark. 
 Her tenants wond'ring flood to hear 90 
 
 That file their infolcnce wou'd bear, 
 And oller'd their affiilance to 
 Soon make them better manners know : 
 But fhe, t' avoid all farther rout, 
 Her window op'ning turn'd Bob out, 95 
 
 Hoping that then her Beafls wou'd live 
 In peace, and no diflurbance give. 
 
 Yet nothing fhe can do avails; 
 Their rage againfc her flill prevails, 
 Tho' Pufs was warn'd to fear their fate I GO 
 
 In lines (by old Prophetic Gat 
 Vv'rit before her transformation. 
 When flic was in the witch's ftation) 
 Foretelling thus ; " When Beafts are grown 
 *' To certain heights before unknown I05
 
 MISCELLANIES, S9 
 
 *' Of human race, fome fliall aloud 
 
 " Inflame and arm a dreadful crowd, 
 
 *' Who in vail numbers fliall advance, 
 
 •' And to new tunes fliall make them dance ; 
 
 •' When this begins no longer hope, I lo 
 
 *' For all remains is ax and rope." 
 
 But not deterr'd by this, they dar'd, 
 With fome who of their plunder Ihar'd, 
 T' affront their lady, and ccnfpire 
 To many with her money hire, 1 15 
 
 Contemning her, to pay undue 
 Regards unto this beftial crew ; 
 Tho' thefe refembled human fliapes, 
 They were indeed no more than Apes^ 
 Who fome in houfe, and fome yj wood, t20- 
 
 And others in high boxes ftood, 
 That chatt'ring made fuch noife and Ulr, 
 How all was due to Fox and Cur, 
 Till by their falfe deluding way 
 She found her fl.ocks begin to ftray* izj 
 
 Still Rubin does for her his care 
 And zeal exprefs ; on whoni yet are 
 His thoughts all fix'd : en her he dreams 
 Each night ; her praifes are his themes 
 In fongs all day. Now perch'd on tree, I30 
 
 Finding hinifelf fecure and free. 
 He pertly fliakes his little wings, 
 Sets vip his throat ; again he fm^s
 
 6o MISCeLLANIES. 
 
 *• That fhe had left no other way 
 
 *' To fave her flocks and end this fray 135 
 
 ** But foon to her afiiftance take 
 
 *' One who could make thefe monfters fhakej 
 
 ** A well-known huntfman, who has fkill 
 
 ** The fierceft beafts to tame or kill : 
 
 *' At her command he 'd come, and he 140 
 
 *' Would make her great and fet them free ; 
 
 *' That fhou'd thefe Beafts fome evil day 
 
 ** Bring Cub into her grounds, flie may 
 
 *' Depend that not herfelf they '11 fpare, 
 
 " Since to infult her now they dare : 145 
 
 *' All file at beft can hope for then 
 
 " Is to be fafc fhut \ip in den ; 
 
 *' Since by fure f)gn&.all thefe ingrate 
 
 *' Are known to bear her deadly hate." 
 
 He ends his fong, and pi ays to Heav'n I50 
 
 That fhe may have the wifdom giv'n 
 Before it be too late, to take 
 Such refolutions as may make 
 Her fafe, and that thefe Beafts no more 
 To ravage in the plains have pow'r. 155 
 
 %
 
 BIBLIOTHECA; A POEM; 
 
 OCC/\SIONED LY THE SIGHT OF 
 
 A MODERN LIBRARY. 
 
 W 1 > H 
 
 SOME VERY USEFUL EPISODES AND DIGRESSIONS *. 
 
 Ridicvilv.m acri 
 Fortius et melius magnas plerunque fecat res. 
 Utile dulci. 
 
 TO the mojl noble Prince Henry Duke of Beaufort, Mar- 
 quis and Earl of Worcefler, Earl of Glamorgan y Baron 
 Herbert, Lord of Chcpfloiv, Ragland, and Gotver^ and 
 the Uliflr,iousBrotheyhood\o'verivhichhis Grace prefides, 
 this Poem is humbly dedicated by their piofl obedient^ mojl 
 dutiful, and bumble fervant. 
 
 1 HE tea was fipp'd, Ocella gone 
 To regulate affairs alone, 
 
 * Tijs is afcribed to Dr. King upon conjefture only. It was 
 publiihed in 1 7 12, the winter before he died, by his bookfeller, 
 tnlcribed to his patron, and is very much in his manner : his 
 name is accordingly afiixed to the author's notes. The poem 
 is on many accounts worth prefcrving; and if it is not Dr, 
 King's, it is at loaft not by an inferiour writer. 
 
 f The Duke wasCaptain ofth.e band of GentleinenPenfioners. 
 
 Though th.e int-irtits of virtue and religion are beft fecured 
 by the feverclt re^.fon and argument, yet I hope a Icfs folenm 
 recommendation of them to the world may not be eileemed 
 a prejudice to citiier. How oft' has a ftubborn folly been fuc- 
 cefsfu'ly arraigned by a candid and eafy rebuke, which had 
 long maintained itfelf ajjainft a more powerful though a lefs 
 familiar convidion ! If we can fmilc away the follies of an ad- 
 ven'ary, fport wiih his vanities, and laugh him into a fenfe of 
 his errours, why Ihould \ye forfeit that exquiilte pleafure of 
 complacency and gOod humour which a malicious conflict 
 Volume 11^ F
 
 } 
 
 6l MISCELLANIES. 
 
 When from the marriage lumber freed 
 The Dodor with himfcif decreed 
 To nod — or, much the fame, to read. 
 He always feem'd a wondrous lover 
 Of painted leaf and Turkey cover, 
 
 •with a rival would moft certainly deprive us of? If wemif- 
 carry in an attempt of tliis nature our defeat would be 
 the lefs dilhouourable, becanfe we feeined only to play and 
 trifle with the niiiUkes of an author ; but (hould we, under 
 the mafk of a litck raillery, wit, and good humour, obtain 
 our end, it would double our fatisfadion as well as the glory 
 of our ccnqudt. Two important debates of the utmoft con- 
 fequence in religion (Eachard's Contempt of the Clergy, and 
 'Philautus and Timothy) have witli wonderful applaufc lately 
 appeared in the world ; the beauties of their authors' ftyle, the 
 purity of their uiflion, the elegant turn of thought, and above 
 all a torrent of fevere but good-natured wit, drew a thoufand 
 readers to pcrufe an hypothefis they little imagined ever to 
 efpoufc ; but they were infenfibly deluded into good principles, 
 and betrayed into a conviftion of thole very truths they came 
 on purpole to deride and ridicule : where they expeded to 
 gratify a fancy only, they found a moie real advantage in the 
 reformation of their judgment, and from admirers of the 
 authors' wit ard beauties became at lart profelytes to their 
 opinions. If in two or three inftances I have tranfgicffed my 
 own rules, the fool or the knave muft be imagined very noto- 
 rious ; and that thofe tender and merciful lalhes that w ere 
 judged fuflicient for little offenders would hardly have reached 
 the vanities of the one or tlie villanies of the other : and if I 
 am thought to have injured any perfon in his charader, or to 
 have faid as much as 1 am able, I mult beg leave to aflure the 
 ■world that it was owing to abundance cf humanity and good- 
 rature I did not fay a great deal mere ; and would rather ad- 
 vifc them to fit eafy and quiet under the innocent rebukes of 
 a fatire, than provoke others to prepare that corredion which 
 their ignorance, their impudence, or to'ch, have fo juftly de- 
 fcrvcd. Kins-
 
 MISCELLANIES. 63 
 
 While no regard at all was had 
 
 To fots in homely ruffet clad. 
 
 Concluding he mull be within 10 
 
 A calf that wore without his Ikin. 
 
 Scott * if in rags was not admir'd, 
 
 While Lacy -f leem'd as much infpir'd. 
 
 And in rich purple nicely dreft 
 
 Difcours'd as faintly as the heft. J5 
 
 Great Sherlock, Barrow, and thofe few 
 
 That teach our pafilons to fubdue, 
 
 Without gilt backs he would defpife, 
 
 Which feem'd at bed but dully wife ; 
 
 And Bunyan's Pilgrim fhew'd the way ao 
 
 To Paradife as well as they. 
 
 But tho' his thoughts were fix'd to read 
 The treatife was not yet decreed ; 
 Uncertain to devote the day 
 
 To poHticks or elfe to play, 25 
 
 What theme would befl his genius fuit, 
 Grave morals or a dull difpute ; 
 Where both contending champions boafl; 
 The vidlory which neither loft, 
 As chiefs are oft' in ftory read 30 
 
 Each to purfue when neither fled f . 
 
 * John Scott, D. D. author of The Chriftian Life, 5 vols. 
 
 + A whimUcal odd fellow, and a preacher among the Ca- 
 
 mifars. King. Lacy was one of thofe enthufiafts who fup- 
 
 ported the French prophets. 
 
 X See the battle of Muns 1709. Kins. 
 
 Fij
 
 64 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 He enters now the fliining dome 
 Where crowded authors fweat for room ; 
 So clofe a man cculd'hardly fay 
 Which were m.ore lix'd the fliclve^ or they. 35 
 
 Each with his goldt n title tells 
 It's author's name and where he dwells, 
 And to enlarge his credit more 
 Directs us to his very door, 
 
 Eoafting of wondcrsto be feen 40 
 
 15\ve have faith to look within. 
 
 To pleafe the eye the higheft fpace 
 A fet of wooden volumes grace ; 
 Pure timber authors! that contain 
 As much as feme that boaft a brain ; 45 
 
 That x\lma Mater never view'd 
 Without degrees to writers hew'd ;. 
 Yet folid thus jnfl emblem fhdw 
 Of the dull brotherhood below. 
 Smiling their rivals to furvey 50 
 
 As great and real blocks as they. 
 
 Diftinguiili'd- then in even rows 
 Here Ihines the verfe and there the profe ; 
 (For tho' Britannia fairer looks 
 United, it is not fo with books.) S5 
 
 The champions of each different art 
 Had ilations all affign'd apart. 
 Fearing the rival chiefs might be 
 For (quarrels dill, nor dead agree.
 
 MISCELLANIES, $$ 
 
 The Schoolmen firft in long array 60 
 
 Their bulky lumber round difplay, 
 
 Seem'd to lament their wretched doom^ 
 
 And heave for more convenient room, 
 
 While dodtrlne each of weight contains 
 
 To crack his fhelves as well as brains, 6s 
 
 Since all with him were thought to dream 
 
 That flagg'd before they fiU'd a rheam; 
 
 His authors wifely taught to prize 
 
 Not for their merit but their fize : 
 
 No furer method ever found 70 
 
 Than buying writers by the pound; 
 
 For Heav'n mufc needs his brcail infpire 
 
 That fcribbling fiU'd each month a quirq, 
 
 And claim'd a ftation on his fhelves 
 
 Who fcorn'd each fot who fool'd in twelves. 75 
 
 Say, Goddefi, ! thou that tak'fl delight 
 To live and lodge with folks that write, 
 What numbers jullly may defcribe 
 The orders of the learned tribe ? 
 Fierce wits chat long at variance flood, 80 
 
 And drew much ink but little blood, 
 Each others' pardon now implore, 
 The cudgel'^ drop and fnarl no more. 
 And filling now the felffame place 
 No longer combat bu*: embrace. ^5 
 
 Here vanquifh'd Bentley, dreading flill 
 The fores of Boyle's vidoricus c^uill.
 
 66 WlSCfLLANIES. 
 
 All fuppliant now dev6titly fwore 
 
 He ne'er wou'dqueftion iEfop more, 
 
 But own each page autlientick flood 90 
 
 Some centuries before the flood; 
 
 Who tho' the tyrant's bull of brafs 
 
 Did for a mighty wonder pafs, 
 
 On purpofc wrote to have it known 
 
 He made much bigger of his own. 95 
 
 Maunis * and Garth their feuds furvive, 
 And here in endlefs friendfhip live ; 
 Kindly concorJing, now impart 
 Their healing poW'r and rhyming art; 
 ■UnrivaU'd heroes both confefl 
 To clofe a life or break a jeft, 
 And both with both Apollo'sf blefV. 
 But who can mention Maurus' name 
 Without a line to crown his fame f 
 Upon w hofc brows infpiring hung I05 
 
 Large poppy wreatlis whene'er he fung, 
 Whofe kindred rhymes their nature keep, 
 Gcntlj diipofing ivYxs to flecp. 
 Tlien lay, great Mirror of our time ! 
 ( Not half I'o f am'd for cures as rljyme) I TO 
 
 Wiiy fliouldft thou other means parfue 
 To heal wiih drugs when verfe will do ? 
 Five tender diftichs from tiiofe flrains 
 Where Arthur moans and Job complains 
 
 * 5ir Riclurd Blackmore. 
 
 t The god oflucdicine and V-rie. 
 
 }
 
 M13CELLANTE3, 67 
 
 Shall ever boafl a pow'r to deep 1 15 
 
 The wakefuirfl^eyes in downy fleep. 
 
 When flrongefl opiates nought avail 
 
 Prefcribe thy Mufe ; it v.'ill never fail : 
 
 Ke'er trouble phyfick with a cure ; 
 
 Each page of thine will work as fure : I?0 
 
 With whatfoever ills opprefl: 
 
 'Tis fure to give thy patient reft. 
 
 See next the Maiituan bard appears, 
 And in his hand th'^SLncid bears; 
 Ten thoufand laurels round him fpread 123 
 
 Bloom ready to adorn his head, 
 Their greens too labguid to beftow 
 That fame which to his verfe w^e owe. 
 Such magick fills each heav'nly line, 
 We read, and reading grow divine ! 130 
 
 Confcious we feel the ecftafy, 
 And feem infpir'd as well as he ; 
 With him we fearing gain the ikies. 
 Yet know not whence or how we rife. 
 But fee what clouds of fulleh wo 135 
 
 tJadly obfcure his laurell'd brow! 
 While the bright glory that furrounds 
 His facred head his forrow drowns 
 In vain the weeping Mufe effays 
 To eafe his grief with profier'd bays ; I40 
 
 'I'ho' fam'd beyond the ftarry fky 
 She vow'd th'^neid ne'er ihou'd die !
 
 <8 MISCELLANIES^ 
 
 But while we thus his grief explore, 
 
 Oh ! view the caufc, nor wonder more : 
 
 See clofely fix'd on either hand I4 jf 
 
 His two traufiators* near him {land, 
 
 Oblig'd to hear them both rehearfe 
 
 His wondrous fong in doggrel verfe. 
 
 Thus doom'd to all fucceeding times 
 
 To gingle in dull Britilh rhymes. J50 
 
 •' He never thought, great Bard ! to fee 
 
 *' His Roman ladies fipping tea, 
 
 *' Divine Lavmia taking fnufF, 
 
 ' ' Or grave j3ineas charge in buff, 
 
 •' Againft his Latian foes advance I55 
 
 *' With mulket now inftead of lance, 
 
 " While mighty Turnus owes his fall 
 
 * ' Not to a jav'iin but a ball, 
 
 ** Shot thro' the belly in the fray, 
 
 *' Expiring a genteeler way." 160 
 
 Had Withers, Shirley, or the good 
 Laureate of Cambridge near him flood, 
 No wrinkle had been fcen ; nay more, 
 
 Ev'n R ll's fclf he could have bore, 
 
 (Where Nature taking wondrous pains 1 65 
 
 To furnifh guts ne'er thought of brains) 
 But doom'd to perifh by a foe. 
 Yet hug the arm that gave the blow ; 
 A fate was look'd en too fevere 
 For Heav'n to fix or him to bear. I J9 
 
 * Oglsby and Lauderdale. Kins.
 
 MISCELLANIES. 6^ 
 
 So much unlike appear'd their flrains 
 
 To thnfe he fung on Latian plains, 
 
 (Bcggin!^ their readers to diTpenfe 
 
 With pretty cuts inftead of fenfe) 
 
 That from tliofe lines their pencil dravc" 175 
 
 Scarce hi.=: own felf great Maro knew. 
 
 Till honcll Loggan *• 1st him fee 
 
 la copperplates it mull be he; 
 
 No longer then he' could refufe, 
 
 But from the cuts confefb'd the Mufe. iSo 
 
 Oh ! who can view without a tear 
 Great Pindar's Mufe and D'Urfey near ? 
 Whofe foaring wit ne'er higher flew 
 Than to endite for Barthol'mew, 
 Setting for fots at country fairs 1 85 
 
 Dull bav.'dy fongs to Purceli's airs; 
 But here howfweetly they combine, 
 Their fancies club and numbers join ! 
 While the bold Grecian nobly finga 
 Of gods, of heroes, and of kings, I90 
 
 And fomething more than mortal Sre 
 Exalts his voice and w^rms his lyre, 
 'Phat fir'd with each tranfportirig page 
 Wc feel his heat and catch his rage; 
 \^''hile each immortal warriour'a name Ip5 
 
 His Mufe tranfmits to deathlefs fame. 
 Green wreaths upon their hearfe bellows, 
 And ev'ry wound immortal grows ! 
 
 * An engraver of fmgular eminence.
 
 ] 
 
 I 
 
 70 MISCELLANIES, 
 
 But much, ch ! very much below 
 
 Our meek Pindaricks gently flow, 200 
 
 In foft and eafy metre creep, 
 
 And juft oblige us not to fleep 
 
 While lovers ftorm and heroes weep. 
 
 Let thy dull Pegafus no more 
 
 To Lyrick fong attempt to foar, 205 
 
 Nor with thy weight prefume to rife 
 
 With rival ftrength above the fkies. 
 
 Which trots much better than he flies. 
 
 Let Pindar's Mufe record the flames 
 
 Of heav'nly nymphs, celeflial dames ; aio 
 
 Be thou content to whine, and tell 
 
 How Strephon charm'd and Phyllis fell; 
 
 Or with that willow grace thy fong 
 
 Where late defpairing Chloe hung. 
 
 While the fad tree the llory owns, 215 
 
 Sprouting each May with fighs and groans, 
 
 Which fann'd with zephirs never fail 
 
 To waft abroad the doleful tale. 
 
 And fliall to future limes remain 
 
 Sacred to Love and Chloe flain. »ao 
 
 Bright heroes in thy lift fhall ftand 
 
 In modern brunts that held command, 
 
 Whofe bold adventures fhall outfhine 
 
 The heroes all of Caefar's line. 
 
 Brave Arthur and his daring crew 225 
 
 Shall kill each mother's fon they view,
 
 MISCELLANIES. 71 
 
 And great Pendragon's fatal blade 
 
 Convert each foe into a fhade; 
 
 Guy for Alcides fhall command, 
 
 And Highgate for Olympus Hand. 230 
 
 See next, in purple feated high, 
 A dazzling wit * attradls the eye, 
 Inviting with his radiant hue 
 If not to read at leaft to view; 
 
 Tho' his dark low'ring afpe<5l Ihows 2^^ 
 
 That Nature meant the fool for profe, 
 To wafle his little fenfe and time 
 In broaching any thing but rhyme. 
 Yet by degrees the wretch arofe 
 To trade in verfe from vending hofef , 240 
 
 And ftill in Nature's fpite thinks meet 
 Tho' not in focks to deal in feet. 
 The toothlefs fatire that he writes 
 No other but its author bites, 
 
 (Like thofe miilaken curs of yore 245 
 
 That for the fcag their mailer tore) 
 Where harmlefs Pun and witty Clinch 
 Bilumble fometimes but never pinch. 
 And aiming at a wound are fure 
 To give us fmiles and work our cure. ajo 
 
 Hadft thou no other damning crime 
 Jullice might fairly urge thy rhyme : 
 
 * De Foe : he wrote a duU fcandalous libel on all the En- 
 gljlh nobility, called The trueborn Engliihmaa. Kin^. 
 t De Foe's tirft profcCion.
 
 ya .MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Heav'n's votaries have (kill pretence 
 
 To piety, at leaft to fenfe ; 
 
 But villains dull as well as rude 2J5 
 
 A double juflice muft exclude. 
 
 If e'er thy fins thou doft rchearfe 
 
 Be fure in tears clap in thy verfe; • 
 
 Pardon for that with fighs implore, 
 
 Confefs thy guilt and write no more ; 260 
 
 Content to match thy fame with thofe 
 
 That live and afics die in profc ; 
 
 But if no coTUifel can reclaim 
 
 Thy daring pen, and fancy tame. 
 
 That engine view *, where lately hung; 26^ 
 
 Thy Mufe and thee exalted fung : 
 
 Let that at leaft engage thy fears, 
 
 And drop thy pen to fave thy ears. 
 
 Oh, of what flrange and pow'rfv.l ufe 
 
 Are plU'ries to infpire a Mufe ! 170 
 
 Hark, in what hymns and grateful lays 
 
 The pendent bard refounds their praife ! 
 
 From rotten eggs that round him ilew 
 
 His happy infpirations drew, 
 
 Whofe balmy fcent infpir'd his vein . 275 
 
 To fend them back in verfe again. 
 
 Oh, help, Apollo! now is the time 
 
 To fave thy fon for future rhyme ! 
 
 * He wrote an infamous libel called The Shorteft "Way, for 
 •which he was apprehended and ftood m ths ptlLry, to which 
 afterwards he wrote i. Hymn. Kjjis.
 
 I 
 
 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 See on his wooden throne difmay'd 
 
 He peeping thro* implores ihy aid, %Zq 
 
 The only time he ever pray'd ; 
 
 And begs thee to relieve iiis wants 
 
 In Helicon or kinder Nantz, 
 
 A liquor of as fov'reign ufq 
 
 As Aganippe's noble juice 285 
 
 To raife and cheer his drooping Mufe ! 
 
 See round his venerable head 
 
 Bright turnip greens for laurel fpread ! 
 
 The luftre that his temples crown'd 
 
 In fable Hiow'rs of ordure drown'd ! 2^0 
 
 Yet, Phoebus ! let this wretch furvive ; 
 
 Revenge thyfelf and let him live ! 
 
 ( Ador'd by thofe his laucy Mufe 
 
 In fcoundrel fatire durfl: abufe, 
 
 Where oft' the flarving villain fed, 295 
 
 Cring'd for a groat, and fawn'd for bread) 
 
 Atoning thus for each offence 
 
 Committed againft thee and fenfe. 
 
 Till all the fluff the idiot wrote 
 
 Will fcarce gain credit for a groat, 300 
 
 Till, flarv'd and rotting in a jail, 
 
 He trucks his poetry for ale ; 
 
 (Too richly paid if his three parts 
 
 Will fetch him in as many quarts) 
 
 And fhould his boafled labours bring 305 
 
 I3ut pence befide to buy a firing,
 
 74 MrscELLANrrs. 
 
 Let him th' experiment to try 
 Swing his own Shortcft Way and die ! 
 Chaucer, the chief of all the throng 
 That whilom dealt in ancient fong 3 1 
 
 (Whofe laurell'd fame fhall never ceafe 
 While wit can charm or humour pleafe) 
 JLies all in tatters on the ground, 
 With duft inffead of laurels crown'd, 
 Teaching mankind that poets have 315 
 
 AVith vulgar wits one common grave ; 
 That all their boafted labours muft 
 Like other folks fubmit to duft, 
 Partake their fate the common way, 
 AvA verfe itfelf be turn'd to clay ; 320 
 
 That none fhall tell while mix'd we lie 
 Which mighty Spenfer was, which T, 
 ^Mr, in one common dungeon thruft, 
 John Dryden'sfrom John Buny^n's duft : 
 Lmpty alike both fkuUs we view, 325 
 
 Of the fame thicknefs, form, and hue, 
 Unknowing now which pate contains 
 The greater ilock of fenfe or brains; 
 While Bunyan here is ev'ry whit 
 As bright, and looks as like a wit ; 330 
 
 Por the grim jaw of hungry Time 
 Has no regard at all for rhyme, 
 But bluntly down together mows 
 A\'its fc.ni'd for vcrlc as well a? profc.
 
 MISCELLANIES. 75 
 
 Commanding oft' the felffame hearfe 335 
 
 To hide the poet and the verfe, 
 
 While fweetly in one common fire 
 
 The labour and the b^rd expire. 
 
 This Tutchin found, whofe works a while 
 
 With melting foftnefs charm'd our ifle, 340 
 
 But when their dying lord withdrew 
 
 They took the hint and vanilh'd too : 
 
 Thus Job * and thus the Britifn Prince * 
 
 Were once, but never heard of fince. 
 
 The Mufe that in immortal lays 345 
 
 So nobly fung Eliza's praife, 
 (Extoll'd beneath a fancy'd name. 
 No Fairy but a Britifli dame) 
 With all his boafted pow'r to fave 
 
 All other laurels from the grave, ' 25^ 
 
 In a dark corner rudely thrown 
 
 Now wants a pow'r to fave his own : 
 
 Tho' Heav'n itfelf his bofoni fir'd, 
 
 And all the god his breaft infpir'd, 
 
 That Phcebus felf from Spenfer's Mufe 3S5 
 
 Might fofter ftrains and numbers chufe, 
 
 Make Daphne liften to his lay, 
 
 And force the flying nymph to ftay, 
 
 With all his wit deferves no more 
 
 Than a poor fhelf behind the door; 360 
 
 * Two poems by Sir Richard Blackmora. King. 
 Gij
 
 76 MiscELrANiEs;: 
 
 His heroes in each warlike page ' 
 
 In hotter feuds rnuft now engage, 
 
 And foes more dreadful here withftand 
 
 Than all they drubb'd in Fairy Land. 
 
 Regardlefs now of raviih'd dame ^6^ 
 
 Each guards a cuilard from the fiame, 
 
 Tho' whilom they difdain'd to lie 
 
 Beneath fo weak an enemy. 
 
 Brave Gyon and SirBn'tomart 
 
 Inflcad of nymphs proted a tart; 379 
 
 The' once averfe to warm defire 
 
 Are deftin'd now to fall by lire ; 
 
 All his brave chiefs in order fry, 
 
 And ev'ry warriour faves a pie. 
 
 Melodious Wither by himfelf 3 75 
 
 In learned tatters bends a fhelf. 
 The' none fc bafe as to difpute 
 His title to a better fuit; . 
 Hefadly moans, expoBxitoarr, 
 His cover thin andliv'ry bar^,* > 380 
 
 <3l-inniiig with envy to behold " 
 His meaner rivals fhinc in gold; 
 'i'hy dying Mufe when ufg'd by Fate 
 ISlight fure have elaim'd to lie in ftate ; 
 Tho' living fcornM, and never read, ^^S 
 
 Like other things ndmir'd when dead ; 
 But fee ! fhe hardly is allow'd, 
 IMingled among the common crowd, 
 The wretched honours of a Ihroud, 
 
 I
 
 MISCELLANIES. 77 
 
 But both together muft decay, 59° 
 
 Kindly confume and turn to clay : 
 No curious eye (hall e'er prefume 
 To alter her appointed doom. 
 Her peaceful labours to moleft, 
 But feal them up in endlefs reft, 395 
 
 That fleep allow her in the grave 
 Which fhe to all when living gave ! 
 Clofe by the door, if not behind, 
 Poor Ovid had a place affign'd, 
 And in a mufly corner pent 4C0 
 
 Begg'd for a fecond banifhment ; 
 With all his wit clofe ramm'd between 
 Two rival bards of Aberdeen, 
 The firft of all the northern clime 
 That turn'd adventurers in rhyme, 405 
 
 To teach mankind and let them fee 
 How zeal and verfe may wtU agree, 
 And that fuch pious folks as they 
 Can rhyme fometimes as v/ell as pray. 
 Inftead of Aganippe's flood 410 
 
 Fiom Britifh dreams each drank as good. 
 And boalled hills as high as that 
 Where Phoebus and his Mufes fat, 
 With this fmali difference alone, 
 That had two heads and our's but one ! 4 rj 
 
 Tho' no foft Tiber rolls along 
 To aid their verfe and raife their fong, 
 
 G iij
 
 7? MISCELLANIES". 
 
 Great Plumber's flream and Solway's tide 
 As full of infpiraticn glide ; 
 
 With fancies fraught fiheir waters flow, 420 
 
 And roll with raptures as they go! 
 Inftead of Virgil's facred page 
 That us'd his wonder to engage, 
 Hc-now attends the rigid fights 
 Of doughty heroes, hardy knights, 425 
 
 One leg iopp'd oif, that urg'd her foe 
 As fierce as when they fought on two ! 
 For Turnus great x-^rgyle commands, 
 Anc^Dougias for iEneas flands. 
 Tho' Kincardine appear too long 430 
 
 To rhyme in vcrfe and Britifh fong, 
 What hero in tlic Latian Mufe 
 E'er founded half fo big as Bruce ! 
 Entaii'd more glory on his race 
 Than his bold fword in Chevy Chafe ! 455 
 
 Where doughty chiefs renown^Sfor fight 
 Obfcur'dthe Roman valour quire, 
 Whofe filly arms upon record- 
 Were only vulgar pike and fwbrd. 
 While thcfe with gun and piitol found • 44O 
 
 A nearer way their foes to wound. 
 
 Behold the bard whofe daring pen 
 The fquabbles drew 'twixt gdds and men 
 Alone upon a dufly flielf ■■' ' ■ 
 
 Pcfcribc their combats by himfeif : 445
 
 MI3CELLANJE3. /? 
 
 For ages pafl no mortal fight 
 
 Kad once beheld the fario'us fight ; 
 
 None knowing if the champions ftout 
 
 Engag'd in armour or without ; 
 
 Whether the foe attacVd the wail 450 
 
 Vv'ith batt'ring ram or iron ball; 
 
 Irlow the fam'd Troy at length was won 
 
 With horfe of timber or of bone. 
 
 The v/ecping queen of Beauty found 
 
 No reader to lament her wound ; 45 5 
 
 i\nd not a foul for years had read 
 
 V/hofe troops purfu'd, whofe legions fled ; 
 
 While Heav'n's kind aid both fides invoke 
 
 How Jove himfeii received afrroke. 
 
 And no cckilial med'cine found 460 
 
 Toc»k up with balfam for his wound ; 
 
 Biit binding on his plafler, fwore 
 
 He ne'er wou'd leave Olympus more, 
 
 Or peep from heav'n's fecurcr'fhades 
 
 To view again fuch fighting blades, 465 
 
 Who v^arring for fo fair a prize 
 
 Had no regard for deities : 
 
 How Paris free from hoftile jars 
 
 Engag'd at home in fofter wars, 
 
 Bad rival hcrociilrive for fame, 4^0 
 
 In deathlefs annals write their name. 
 
 While blefs'd wit'n Helen's lovely eyes 
 
 They iliar'd the Mows and he the prize !
 
 8q MISCELLANIES. 
 
 In Beauty's caufe his youth employ 'd^ 
 
 And as they conquer'd he enjoy 'd. 475 
 
 Oh ! vho can thus unmov'd defcry 
 I'he great Ma^onian poorly lie 
 Entomb'd in duft, nor on his hearfe 
 Kindly bellevv one grateful vcrfe ? 
 Shall flates contend his birthright's fame, 480 
 
 And we not tremble at his name, 
 Our great arrears of duty pay 
 And gratitude as well as they ? 
 \Vlthout a tear his heroes view. 
 New labours urge, new toils purfue, 485 
 
 More fatal far than all they bore 
 On fam'd Scaniander's bleeding fhore ? 
 Great Priam in a kite afcends, 
 And Hedor'sfelf a cafement mends; 
 New trials for their valour find 4 90 
 
 Inftcad of men to combat wind; 
 The fturdy Greek, whofe hardy hide 
 Could ftrokes of oak or fleel abide, 
 And, worn inftead of hardeft bulf, 
 V/as deem'd both fword and cudgel proof, 495 
 
 Is ftrangely now furpris'd to feel 
 More places mortal than his heel : 
 But heroes well fiich flights may be?.r 
 When gods themfelves no better fare. 
 Hermts, accuftom'd to the ikies, 5CO 
 
 Aloft in fiery rockets flies,
 
 Ml?CEtLANfES. Si 
 
 Swifter than when from Jove he flew 
 
 1 o ^ear fome am'rous billct<!ous, 
 
 And warn the uhexned^ing dame 
 
 To drefs befort-his Highnefs came. 505' 
 
 Phoebus with all his luflre bright 
 
 Is trimni'd to deck a Chrifcmas light, 
 
 (All other ..lights' exceeding far, 
 
 As he hiinfelf outlhiPxCS a liar) 
 
 Till the bright -god tlwt all things burns 510 
 
 Flaming himfelf to alhes turns. 
 
 The mighty Mari, for all he looks 
 
 rierce both in battles and in books, 
 
 Sfript of Jiis armour, on the fidor 
 
 All peaceful lies and itruts no more I 5 15 
 
 With Juno's wondrous witty fpeech 
 
 Occlia fairly wip'd her breech; 
 
 Hcf birth and godhead noi'ght avail, 
 
 Prcferr'd to iakes from Madam's tail. 
 
 Gailus *, wbcfe niamhers oft' have charm'd 5 20 
 The coyeft nymph and coldcft warm'd, 
 (Doubly oblig'd to fee and hear 
 The. verft fo fweet and he fo fair) 
 Is doom'd by top fevere a fate 
 
 To fing within an inch of Tate! S'^5 
 
 While both beneath the felffame leatlier. 
 Tike fair and foul in April weather, 
 Kindly concord and rhyme together. 
 
 * John Sheffield Ditke of Euckingliamniiie 
 
 I
 
 Si MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Thus have I often at a play 
 
 Survey 'd a nymph profufely gay, 535! 
 
 With all the charms of nature grac'd, 
 
 Clofe by fome wrinkled beldam plac'd, 
 
 Oblig'd to hear the dowdy thing 
 
 Her triumphs boaft and conquefi. fing, 
 
 Whofe breath the want of charms fupplies, S35 
 
 And kills more certain than her eyes^ 
 
 Oh ! quickly, beauteous queen of I.ove, 
 Thy fuif'ring fav'ritc hence remove ; 
 With thy own hand thy darling bring 
 Where Addifon and Congreve fmg, 540 
 
 (By whofe harmonious art and care 
 Thy matchlefs beauties fiiine more fair) 
 To Prior join his rival bays, 
 Or, lift'ning to foft Cowley's lays, 
 Let him intent on Waller's lyre 545. 
 
 To reach his daring flights afpire. 
 To Heav'n the wondrous Mufe purfue - 
 With equal flrength and foftnefs too. 
 
 Hark, how thy Ifis' weeping fliore 
 Begins thy abfence to deplore ! 550 
 
 And all her penfive nymphs in vain 
 Recall thee to her banks again ; 
 No more their drooping heads they rear 
 Above their waves thy fong to hear. 
 While in their breafl a double fire SS5 
 
 Thy mufick and thy charms infpire,
 
 MISCELLANIES. S3 
 
 Then gently fall beneath the tide 
 
 Their blufhes and thy pow'r to hide. 
 
 See how her fwans their pride forego, 
 
 In murm'ring fighs confefs their wo ; 5 60 
 
 Stretch'd on their wat'ry beds they lie. 
 
 And all their oozy paflure fly ; 
 
 No more with filver wings divide 
 
 And downy breafts the parting tide, • 
 
 As when with eager hafte they flew 5 65 
 
 l"hy diftant mufick to purfue, 
 
 And by thy voice inllruifted, try 
 
 To charm more foftly as they die ! 
 
 But while great Beaufort's ads infpire 
 
 Demand his voice and claim his lyre, 5 70 
 
 Bright to recoid the patriot's name 
 
 In verfe as iafling as his fame, 
 
 Thy fniiling Thames forgets his wo, 
 
 Rcfjgns the Mufe, and bids her go 
 
 Nobly to fing in deathlefs lays^ 5 75 
 
 Her own beneath the hero's praife. 
 
 Immortal Camden * there complains, 
 Curfmg a critick's ufelefs pains; 
 In modern charms exnos'd to view 
 He fcarce his own Britannia knew ; 5 8© 
 
 Adorn'd with wonders which his eye, 
 A lover's tho', could never fpy : 
 Here he beholds huge forefts rife 
 From Danilh blood and meet the ikies, 
 
 ^ Se: Dr, Gibfon's edition of Camden. Kins,
 
 84 MISCELLANIES, 
 
 "While each complaining tree records 5 8 J 
 
 The fate of their unhappy lords : 
 
 There elder weeps from bleeding vein 
 
 Great Sueno's fall and Canute ilain; 
 
 While winter ilow'rs each rolling year 
 
 Gay on their verdant ilalks appear, 590 
 
 Bloom from the celebrated thorn*", 
 
 MIncepies and windovirs to adorn, 
 
 Which fome imagin'd, tho' untruly. 
 
 Not in December born but July. 
 
 See, drawn by his enchanting hand, 595 
 
 Britannia feems a Fairy Land; 
 
 Druids and Bards frequent each grove, 
 
 And nymphs in ev'ry thicket move ; 
 
 To ilreams and cooling fnades retire. 
 
 Kindly to blefs fome gentle Iquire, 600 
 
 Unwilling yet too far to flray 
 
 For fear of Satyrs in the way : 
 
 Spenfcr, who fent his chiefs fo far 
 
 To purchafe fame in feats cf war. 
 
 Might here, not forc'd abicad to roam, toj 
 
 Have met v.^ith giants nearer honie, 
 
 Kis heroes trembling to defy 
 
 Fierce Tudor or victorious Guy. 
 
 'Twas pity Sidney's f fam'<i defign 
 
 So long, great Sage ! preceded thine ; 6 10 
 
 * See Caniclen's Britannia. Kin^;. 
 f The Arcadia. Kin^, 
 
 I
 
 MISCELLANIES. % 
 
 Pliiloclea elfe the crown had v/orn, 
 And Mufidorus here ])een born ; 
 Cloie by her vanquiih'd lover's fide 
 The fair Parthenia too had dy'd. 
 Thy ev'ry page prcfcnts our fight 615 
 
 "With chiefs as brave and dames as bright 
 As in her fam'd Arcadian plain 
 R.omantick Greece could ever feign, 
 And for the time to come Ihall flore us 
 With warriours great as Mvifidorus, 6iO 
 
 And ev'ry grove oblige our fight 
 With virgins as Pamela bright, 
 Th&t furnifii'd with fair rural dames, 
 Protedling fquires and lovers' fiames. 
 We ne'er fhail want a chief for fight 625 
 
 While thou and great Cervantes write. 
 One day the Do61:r)r quite o'ercome 
 With lufcious talcs of Greece and Rome, 
 Infi:ead of taking tea or air 
 
 Does to the female world repair 630 
 
 To pleafe himfelf among the fair, 
 (Where if no fenfe was to be found 
 He is fure to be oblig'd with found.) 
 Sappho had foftnefs, but her fong 
 Was jargon all in fuch a tongue, 6j j 
 
 Requiring too much pains to feck 
 And labour fo^ her v.'it in Greek, 
 
 Fofi.'^^e J I. H 
 
 }
 
 g6 MISCELLANIES, 
 
 Which would have edify 'd as much 
 
 Recorded in Chinefe or Dutch. 
 
 Dacier, tho' penn'd with fo much eafe, 64O 
 
 Too much a critick feem'd to pleafe ; 
 
 But being courtly and wellbred, 
 
 And pleas'd with that he never read, 
 
 Smiling on ev'ry page flie writ 
 
 Takes her on truft to be a wit. 645 
 
 Italian dames his ears furprife 
 
 Witli harmony of O'sand I's : 
 
 So foft the tender vowels chime 
 
 No harflier fenfe e'er marr'd the rhyme ; 
 
 Of ftrength depriv'd more gently flow, 6 j O 
 
 And warble mufically low : 
 
 But when his fcarching iudgment found 
 
 Kcgle6linii; fenl'e they Itudy'd found, 
 
 To Eritifii dames he next apply'd 
 
 Por that which Greece and Rome deny'd, 6^^ 
 
 And fought amidft our tuneful fair 
 
 A fong more grateful to his ear, 
 
 "S^^'here harmony with ftrength confpir' d 
 
 To m.ake the verfe and nymphs admir'd. 
 
 \Vh — n * thc^ coidcft breafl might move 660 
 
 But that Ihe talk'd too much of love,. 
 
 * Probably the firlV wife of the Marquis of Wharton, who 
 Kr. Walpole fays was a poetefs, and has an article in The C e- 
 ncral Didionary.
 
 MISCELLANIES 
 
 Of burning flames and hot defire, 
 That ev'ry line was red with fire. 
 
 Sir.ger*, by name and nature made 
 For mufick and the rhyming trade, 665 
 
 For her weak genius foar'd too high, 
 And loft her Mufe above the fky : 
 A flaming fun, a radiant hght, 
 In ev'ry verfc diflratft our fight, 
 DiiTafe their dazzling beams from far, ^ 70 
 
 And not one line without a ftar ! 
 Thro' ftreams of light we feem to rove 
 And tread on fliining orbs above. 
 
 Orindaf next demands his view. 
 For titles fam'd and rhyming too ; 6 75 
 
 And had been read, but that her fong 
 To be admir'd was quite too long. 
 Their miftrefs' want of pride tofncv,'' 
 Her numbers glide but v/ondrous low ; 
 Inftead of rapture give us fleep, 6S0 
 
 And ftriving to be humble creep. 
 Philips in verfe her paffion told, 
 Intreats the youth to be lefs cold, 
 Begs him while Nature charms denies 
 To mind her v.it and not her eyes ; €85 
 
 InftrucS;s the novice how to woo. 
 And (hews what little art will do 
 
 * Afterwards the celebrated Mrs. Rowe. 
 •f Mi B.Philips. 
 
 Hij
 
 8^ MiSCtLLANt£S, 
 
 A virgin's yielding heart to move, 
 
 And melt a breaft inclln'd to love ! 
 
 Sottnefs her v^-ant of fenfe fupplies, 6(>'o 
 
 She faints in ev'ry line and dies j 
 
 Again refumes her tender ftrain. 
 
 And only lives to die again. 
 
 Unhappy Maid! correct thy Mufe, 
 
 Some nearer way to wedlock chufe ; C^j 
 
 She V arble? with fo ill a grace 
 
 Thy airs are coarfer than tky face, 
 
 And will be found (believe n)C; flill 
 
 To frightin ten for one they kill. 
 
 Dear Phyllis ! then leave off in time, 7CO 
 
 Lovers are ne'er trcpann'd by rhyme ; 
 
 'I'hy bobbins or thy needle take, 
 
 Lach vvill as deep impreiTions make; 
 
 And to enjoy the youth's embrace 
 
 Cafliier thy Mufe and flick to lace. jos 
 
 A crowd of other females pafl 
 Whofe fame for verfe (hall ever laft 
 While artlefs founds our foul difarm 
 And mufick void of fenfe can charm. 
 Inmiortal Beh« * at laft he fpy'd ; yiO 
 
 ** Hail, beauteous Nymph !" the lover cry 'd; 
 *' Sec at your feet I proftrate bow, 
 *' Negleding ev'ry fair for you; 
 
 * Mrs. Aphora Behn.
 
 MISCELLANIES. Zj 
 
 ** Their worthlefs labours tumbling o'er 
 
 ** In hafle your beauties to adore, 7 15 
 
 *' With your bright features or your quill 
 
 *' Arm'd with a double pow'r tq kill!" 
 
 But as no mortal thing below 
 Can long furvive v/ithout a foe, 
 Here he beholds in triumph fit ^ZO 
 
 The bane* of beauty, fenfe, and wit; 
 Demolifli'd diflichs round his head, 
 Half lines and fliatter'd ilanras fpread, 
 While the infultingcorni'ror climbs 
 O'er mighty heaps of ruin'd rhymes, 725 
 
 And proudly mounted views from high 
 Beneath th' harmonious fragments lie, 
 Boafting himfelf from foes fecur'd 
 In ftanzaslodg'd, in verfe immur'd: 
 Furious the lover filence broke, 73O 
 
 And thus redhot with vengeance fpoke : 
 
 *' And could thy fqueamiih ftomach chufe 
 *' To feafl on nothing but a Mufe ? 
 *' Nought elfe thy courtly palate hit 
 *' But virgin fenf^ and female v^it ? 735 
 
 *' My fav'rite nymph to nib and wafte 
 '-' To pleafure thy luxurious tafle ? 
 " Seldom content to fup or dine 
 *' Without a diftich or a line ? 
 
 * A Meth. Kins. 
 
 Hiij
 
 ()0 MTSCEI.LANIE.'r, 
 
 *' Making thdfe rhymes thy hunger fed 74:5 
 
 ** Each day thy food, each night thy hed ? 
 
 *' Proudly afpiring thus to lie 
 
 *' In flieets of down v poetry ? 
 
 ** On twenty more dcfign'd to be 
 
 *' Fit nouriftiment for fuch as thee 74'j 
 
 *' Thou mightft have fed or made a feat in, 
 
 *' Publifh'd alons b-Jt to be eaten, 
 
 *' Volumes fit only for a neft 
 
 ** Where vermine fuch as thou fliould reft. 
 
 *' Hadfl thou chofe rather to be pent in 750 
 
 *^ The councils Lateran or Tridentine, 
 
 " (As many an honeft infe(5l feeds 
 
 ** On canons and outlandifh creeds) 
 
 *' Meanly to no one difh confin'd, 
 
 ** Thou mightfl have great as C^efar din'd; 75 J 
 
 *' Gloy'd with infipid verfc have thofe 
 
 *' To diet on more fav'ry profe; 
 
 *' In mighty folios lodg'd been able 
 
 ** Greatly each day to fhift thy table, 
 
 " And found materials to affuage 760 
 
 •■' Thy hunger in each fruitful page : 
 
 • ' Or if decrees and councils Ihew'd 
 
 *' For courtly tafl.es too mean a food, 
 
 *' On wars and battles, feldom read, 
 
 •' Thou mightfl without offence have fed; 76J 
 
 *' Thy rage the warriours' fhculd outdo, 
 
 *' Eating up fig-hts and heroes too,
 
 MISCELLANIES'. ^ 
 
 '^' in fpitc of all their guns and fteel 
 ** Devour a champion at each meal ; 
 *' Philippi but one feaft wou'd yield-, 77# 
 
 *' And fcarce fo much Pharfalia's field ; 
 'i Great Amnion's fon muil here fubmit 
 *' To be demolifli'd at a bit ; 
 *' All others conq'ring doom'd to be 
 *' Subdu'd at lailby puny theel 775 
 
 *' But fay, while fifty more as good, 
 " If not for fenfe at lead for food, 
 *' Crowded on ev'ry flielf appear, 
 ** Why, envious Vermine ! only here ? 
 *' See, from their fair apartment drove, 78^ 
 
 *' Here fprawls a Cupid there a Love ; 
 *' Unarm'd the young immortals fiiow 
 " This wants a fhaft and that a bow, 
 " And tears in mighty ftreams diilil, 
 " Robb'd of their tools to wound and kill. 785 
 
 " Fair Venus in a penfive mood 
 *' Sadly laments her mumbkd hood, 
 *' That nought befide a veil of lawri 
 *' Was o'er her radiant Taoulders draw^rt^ 
 ** While two meals more without my care 79O 
 
 " Had flripp'd the blufliing goddefs bare. 
 *' Nor does fair Beauty's wounded queen 
 *' Confefs alone thy little fpleen; 
 " The Mufe whom brighter charms adorn' 
 ' ' Laments herfelf in pieces torn. 79':? 
 
 4.
 
 pa MISCELLANIES. 
 
 *' See, fcatter'd round thy dark abode, 
 
 " Here lies a fatire there an ode 
 
 *' Ceafing thro' thy malignant fpite 
 
 " Or this to praife or that to bite : 
 
 " And Elegy, but now too late, 8co 
 
 " Laments her own untimely fate, 
 
 " Thofe tears defign'd for lovers' moan 
 
 *' Sadly applying to her own ; 
 
 " A limping line there wants a foot, 
 
 " The rhyme nibb'd off and fenfe to boot, 805 
 
 " And mangled now without a clofe 
 
 " Degen'rates into rumbling profe ; 
 
 *' A folitary verfe alone, 
 
 " His partner quite devoured and gone, 
 
 '• There weeps he can no longer cliime 8ie 
 
 " And warble with iiis fellow-rhyme; 
 
 *' With the fad difmal lofs perplex'd 
 
 " He ftrives to gingle with the next, 
 
 " His ftrength the fame and foftnefs too, 
 
 *' But wanting found it mull not do. 815 
 
 " Say then, before this murd'ring thumb 
 *' Relentlef? feals thy certain doom, 
 ** What art or cunning can repair 
 •' The ruins of the injur'dfair, 
 *' Patch up her mufick, and rellore 820 
 
 " The nymph harmonious as before ? 
 
 *' But fee, too proud to make amends, 
 V (As filenoe ftill on guilt attends)
 
 MISGELLANir.?. ^J 
 
 ** 9peechlefs the vermine turnR away 
 
 *• With not one fingle word to fay, 825 
 
 " Confefling thus the bloody crime 
 
 *' Of wounding wit and murd'ring rhyme. 
 
 " Take then a hfe, propitious Maid! 
 ** Sent to atone thy wand'ring fhade ; 
 *' Tho' vile the gift, it is yet the moll Zt,*^ 
 
 *' I now can give thy injur'd ghoft : 
 *' But let one foe thus nobly flain 
 ** Thy reeking altar ferve to llairi, 
 *' Till thoufands more before tliy eye 
 *' To pleafe thy glutted vengeance die, 83^ 
 
 *' Thy foul thus giving by their doom 
 *' Thro* cndlefs fcenes of blifs to roam.'* 
 
 Diverted from the doleful fong 
 He ftill feem'd eager to prolong, 
 Horace in fad and mournful llrains S4O 
 
 To lift'ning Phcebu's thus complains : 
 
 " Patron of Verfe, and god of Days ! 
 
 ** Infpirer of our voice and lays, 
 
 *' Permit me in fome difmal cell 
 
 '* With Goths or Leydcn bards to dwell, 845 
 
 " Or to confume my wretched time 
 
 ** ' Twixt Dublin verfe and Glafgow rhyme ; 
 
 *' Nay, to augment my laft defpair, 
 
 *' Place Ayloffe's* felf and Marvell-j there, 
 
 ♦ Captain Ayloffe, author of Manxirs Gholt. 
 ■J- The Tathe on Marvell is v.ondcrfully mifplac^ds
 
 94 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 *' (A fam'd dull pair, that purely wrote 850 
 
 " To raife our fpleen and die forgot) 
 
 *' If fuff 'ring thus my works may be 
 
 " From criticks and tranfiators free; 
 
 " Or in one wifh, to fum up all 
 
 *' The plagues that can a wretch befall, 853- 
 
 *' May it be doom'd my harder fate 
 
 *' To read v/hatever they tranflate, 
 
 *' And hear for great Augullus' name 
 
 " In dull heroicks Arthur's fame, 
 
 '* His fire in modern flory pafs 8 60 
 
 *' For what my lov'd Msecenas was; 
 
 *' Let theirs exceed my hero's praife 
 
 " To fave my Mufe from Creech and bays!" 
 
 A Proteus* wit almoft efcapes 
 That writes and fools in fifty fhapes, 865 
 
 To'pleafe in ev'ry art prepar'd, 
 An Atheifl now, and now a bard, 
 Phyfician (Iraight, another time 
 Projedling tools to work in rhyme, 
 Or forging odd receipts to make 870 
 
 Verfe duller than his Worfnip's take. 
 Horace, mofl courtly grown and kind, 
 Exadlly fpeaks the poet's mind. 
 Stands fponfor by his v/orth and fame 
 To guard his infant Mufe from ftiame ; 875 
 
 * See Tlie Mortality of the Soul, and Licentia Poetica dif- 
 cuffed, written by Dr. Coward. Kins.
 
 MISCELLANIES. 95 
 
 Whiiil he In mighty feciets deals, 
 
 And beauties long obfcur'd reveals. 
 
 Does from his own prefcriptions fall, 
 
 Gives fifty rules, and breaks them all; 
 
 Tho' he that fartheft from them ftrays 880 
 
 Bids fairell much to win the bays. 
 
 From verfe he haftens to difpute 
 
 Himfelf into a nobler brutej 
 
 Greatly refolv'd his murd'ring quill 
 
 Shoidd certain as his phyfick kill, 885 
 
 Kc needs would have mankind control 
 
 The univerfe without a foul ; 
 
 That matter nicely wrought and fpun 
 
 Might all thofe mighty feats have done 
 
 Which ancient dotards were inclin'd 890 
 
 To attribute to Thought and Mind, 
 
 Thus as the threads are drawn it hits, 
 
 The coarfe are fools, the fine ones wits, 
 
 While others of a middle fize 
 
 Prove harmlefs things, not dull nor wife ; 895 
 
 And hence it plainly comes to pafs 
 
 'J'hat Coward is now what Sternhold was, 
 
 Becaufe in Nature's forming lifl 
 
 His threads were of a clumfy twift. 
 
 And Chance had fo contriv'd his doom 9c® 
 
 To draw him from a hobbling loom. 
 
 A proof within himfelf he feels 
 
 That all mankind is mov'd by wheelsj
 
 9>5 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 That chains, and penduhims, andfprings, 
 
 With twenty other curious things, 905 
 
 Vv'"ere firft by artful Nature made 
 
 Ere clocks and watches form'd a trade. 
 
 Ilxchange, great Sir ! a word or two. 
 
 And your fam'd thefis flill may do : 
 
 *' Thou art thyfelf complete and whole, 91.O 
 
 *' Thy verfes only want a foul, 
 
 " While both a dsff'rent fate fliall try, 
 
 V Thou half and they entirely die, 
 
 ** Condemn'd by thee not partial Fate 
 
 *' E'er to behold a future ftate '" 9T5 
 
 Behold a modefl bard * refiife 
 The laurels waiting on liis Mufe ! 
 Pity firft taught her how to fing, 
 To try her voice and prune her wing ; 
 Touch'd with a tender Chriftian wo 9*0 
 
 In Wallia's rcahiis to meet a foe, 
 That lawlefs long and unreflrain'd 
 Had in her milky dainties reign'd, 
 And ev'ry year triumphant won 
 A dow'ry for a yeoman's fon. ' 925 
 
 Virgil, that taught thy Mufc to fing, 
 A nobler verfe could hardly bring, 
 Qr on a theme [o mean and low 
 More thought and niajefly beftow ; 
 
 * Mr. Edward Holufworth, author ofTlie Mufcipubjapocm 
 which is efteemed ayfjaitcr^-iiece in its kind.
 
 ] 
 
 MISCELLANIES, 97 
 
 Henceforth his frailing ghofl fhall move 930 ' 
 
 More joyous thro' her laureate grove 
 
 To hear thy tuneful voice above. 
 
 Take then a gift I trembling bring, 
 
 Inflrudled near thy Mufe to fing, 
 
 Which prun'd her pinions in that Ihade 95 5 
 
 Whence mine her earliefl flights effay'd. 
 
 Both fipping to infpire our themes 
 
 Oxeyes * for clear Caftaiian ftreams ; 
 
 Oh, may thy fame for ever run 
 
 A glorious rival to the fun 940 
 
 *' Till mice in pantries ceafe to dwell, 
 
 *' Or brimftone at Glamorgan fell, 
 
 " Till mites no more in Chedder breed, 
 
 ** Nor goats on craggy Penmaur feed, 
 
 *' Till leeks and onions fmeli amifs, 945 
 
 " Till fcrubbing feems no more a blifs, 
 
 ** Till great Phnlimmon leaves the Ikies, 
 
 " Till thy immortal labour diesf !" 
 
 While Dennis aids the Mufe to fing. 
 Or gives her plumes or clips her wing, 950 
 
 Dlredts her cautious how to fly 
 Unbeaten tracks along the flcy. 
 With fafety v^re fubiimely fl:ray, 
 And foaring gain the realms of day, 
 
 * Places in Oxfprd fo called. Kb:i. 
 
 t Various have been the Englifn imitations of The MufcL". 
 pvila, but no one happier than Ciunceilor Hoadlcy's. 
 Volume II. I
 
 1 
 
 98 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Till tremltling fi oni thofe heights above, 95 
 
 And dazzling orbs o'er which we move. 
 We gently fink in humbler llrains 
 To vales beneath and rural plains. 
 
 Great Toland, with his name below, 
 Bought purely to make out the fhow, 960 
 
 Adorns at once and fills a row 
 (Tho' fome aver it ftrongly ftiU 
 That cmptinefs cduld never fill.) 
 Hadll thou been wife or dull by rule 
 Thy filence might have flireen'd the fool ; 965 
 
 But thus to cant and own it too 
 No mortal fure but thee would do. 
 The twilight owl and ferious afs 
 Would needs for modern criticks pafs 
 Till both their want of fcnfe betray'd, 970 
 
 One hooting while the other bray'd. 
 
 Near Blackal | his fanv J rival lay, 
 But frowning lean'd another way. 
 His forehead into wrinkles drawn 
 f q lit within the fmel! of lawn, 975 
 
 3iit clofc as to his elm the vine 
 Round piou.-. Baxter feems to twine, 
 Adores thv f ,1, nt on bended knees 
 That taug'ir him firft to cant and pleafe, 
 AncJ ro tho wond'ring world reveal 9^® 
 
 Good C!i i:i;-n methods to rvbel. 
 t Bilhop of Lxster from 1707 to 17 16.
 
 MISCELLAMES. ^9 
 
 While Milton's foaflng fancy flies, 
 And fings of feuds above the ficies, 
 Dreadfully tills the heav'niy plain 
 With vanquilh'd pow'rs and cherubs ilain, 9F5 
 
 Surpris'd and trembling fxom afar 
 We fcarce behold th' immortal war; 
 Their falchions formidably bright, 
 Their fwords compos'd of beaten light, 
 And beamy arriis with dreadful blaze 990 
 
 From each contending van amaze, 
 With dread we view th' apoftate foe 
 Plung'd in the deep abyfs below. 
 
 See Rag * on Philips flill attends, 
 In life, in death, harmonious friends, 995 
 
 Pleas'd his lov'd Ifis to forego 
 To meet the darling fhade below, 
 Who in th' Elyfian fragrant bow'rs 
 Beguile each day the fmiling hours 
 With more delight than wine or love ICOO 
 
 E'er gave the bards in realms above, 
 Edch here tranfported to behold 
 Rich branches bloom with radiant gold 
 (Strangely furpris'd to view an ore 
 They ne'er on earth once touch'd before. ) 1005 
 
 No more refulgent to their eyes 
 The Splendid Shillin^'sf charms furprife, 
 
 * The n?me which Edmund Smith went by. 
 
 t Avery famous burlclque poem in imitation of Milton, 
 
 I ij Kins-
 
 lOO MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Once the fole blifs of Hcav'n implor'd. 
 For chat alone by each ador'd, 
 
 That ale or oyfi ers could command, lOI O 
 
 The noblefl. boons of iea or land. 
 And bid them to enjoy a friend 
 From lonely garret oft' defcend : 
 No longer to their cells rtftrain'd, 
 Where want and difmal darknefs reign'd, I015 
 
 With harmlefs pun and clinches gay * 
 They now repeat each fmiling day, 
 Nor dreadful reck'ning trembling fear, 
 As if kind Herbert too was there ; 
 For vile mundung and fumy ale 1020 
 
 Incenfe and odours now exhale, 
 And Tipping nedar from each ftream 
 No more of Tiff and Viner's f dream, 
 Convinc'd their Ifis coidd bellow 
 No cups fo foft as thofe below : 1 025 
 
 No longer now the modifh gown 
 In ropy fhreds hangs quiv'ring down, 
 Tuck'd clofe but gently round the fide 
 Some difmal breach beneath to hide, 
 Or elfe protcding from the air TO30 
 
 Some parts as Nature form'd them bare. 
 See next the Mufe | that fill'd the ficies 
 With fleepy lolling deities, 
 
 * See the Deift's notions of a future ftate, taken from their 
 orthodox fcripture of Virgil's iixth ^neicl. A'.'nf. 
 t A very celebrated univcrfity alelioufe. Kiiigi 
 ' i Lucretius. Kins.
 
 MISCELLANIES. ICI 
 
 Carelefs and unconcern'd to know 
 
 What mortals acled here below, 1^35 
 
 Gives us receipts of wondrous fame 
 
 New worlds to raile and beings frame 
 
 Which Burnet f by experience knew 
 
 In every tittle to be true. 
 
 After a long eternal round, 1 04 O 
 
 No flage to eafe their labour found, ' 
 
 The weary'd atoms all combine 
 
 In diff'rent forms themfelves to join ; 
 
 Thefe fuik beneath, thofe upwards fly 
 
 To deck and to adorn the ilcy, IC45 
 
 In radiant planets Ihine from far. 
 
 Or lofc their brightnefs in a ftar. 
 
 Millions for heav'nly forms unfit 
 
 To meaner fates below fubmit, 
 
 While long the Uttle fportive train 105® 
 
 A thpufand tricks attempt in vain 
 
 Before they can fit natures chufe 
 
 And their light empty beings iofe ! 
 
 The brill?:, the nimble, and the lights 
 
 To frame the female virorld unite, IC55 
 
 And while the beauteous kind they fill 
 
 Seem to preferve their nature flill : 
 
 The giddy into order range. 
 
 But fcarcely undergo a change. 
 
 t Theory of the Earth. IC'r-i- 
 
 liij
 
 ICa MISCELLANIES, 
 
 Siill ^S. as in their ancieiit Iphere, lc6o 
 
 Whirling in mad proje6lors here. 
 
 Or elfe their roving pow'r&reftrain 
 
 Beneath fomc madder poet's hrain : 
 
 Thofe of a rough and knotty make 
 
 Their flations all in criticks take, I065 
 
 Which maices it har'^cr much to gain 
 
 Their fenfe than his they would explain, 
 
 And much more fkill rcquir'd to find 
 
 The critick's than the author's mind : 
 
 Thofe of a tall and flender fize IC 70 
 
 In monuments and fttcples rife, 
 
 For flrudures, like our elm and yew, 
 
 At Nature's birth fpontaneous grew, 
 
 Inflrudlcd upwards how to climb 
 
 Without the help of brick or lime : I075 
 
 The dull, the empty, and the gay, 
 
 Confent to take a difF'rent way; 
 
 Thefe ming;ling form coquettes, and thofe 
 
 Unite in ailes and in beaux! 
 
 Defcending from a iinifh'd flar I080 
 
 Some leave the fkies to grace the fair, 
 
 While thofe to heav'n their light confine, 
 
 And thefe in Lumley's beauties fhinc : 
 
 In Beaufort's air they ail unite 
 
 Their fofteft beams, their fairefl light ; IC85 
 
 In March's lovely form furprife, 
 
 Or fmile confefs'd in Eifliop's eyes ;
 
 MISCELLANIES. ICJ 
 
 While honefl Tlndal thou and I 
 
 Were form'd of lumps that downwards 3y, 
 
 And daily give fome wretched proof IC90 
 
 Of our defcending weighty fluff. 
 
 Which makes whate'er we write or fay 
 
 Thus favour of our kindred clay. 
 
 And ev'ry fair and juil dcfign 
 
 With fuch a native force decline, IC95 
 
 That while we ftrive fublime to foar 
 
 We fink and founder fo much lower; 
 
 Hence it is our labours come to nought ; 
 
 Each beauteous produdl which we thought 
 
 Of fprightly wit and reafon full IICO 
 
 Is llrangely leaven'd with the dull : 
 
 But let us learn true wifdom hence. 
 
 Not whine like fools for want of fenfe; 
 
 Rather accufe our partial Fate 
 
 AlTigning each fo dull a pate, II05 
 
 Purely by Nature form'd in fpite 
 
 To plague mankind in print and write. 
 
 Bcntley immortal honour gets 
 By changing ques for nobler el's f . 
 From Cam to Ifis fee him roam J I lo 
 
 To fetch ftray'd interjections home, 
 
 t " Horatius Emendatus, invitis omnibus criticis,Tic efie le- 
 *' gendum pronimcio." Mcdeft Br. Bentley! King. 
 " It is true on words is ftill our whole debate; 
 *' Difputcs Qlmi or te., olaut or at," Pope, Dune, IV. 2i<?,
 
 IC4 MISCELLANIEP, 
 
 While the glad fhores with joy rebound 
 
 For periods and loll commas found ; 
 
 Poor adverbs, that had long deplor'd 
 
 Their injur'd rights by him reflor'd, III5 
 
 Smii'd to furvey a rivil's doom 
 
 While they poffefs'd the envy'd room, 
 
 And hifhng froni their rcfcu'd throne 
 
 Th' ururper's fate applaud their own. 
 
 The Roman nymphs, for wane of notes 1120 
 
 More tender, flrain'd their little throats, 
 
 Till Bentley to relieve their woes 
 
 Gave them a fet of Ah's and Oh's, 
 
 More mufically to complain 
 
 And warble forth their gentle pain. II25 
 
 The fuff'ring fair no more repine 
 
 For vowels now to fob and whine. 
 
 In fofteft air their paflion try. 
 
 And without fpoiiing metre die; 
 
 With interjedtionsof his own II30 
 
 He helps them now to weep and groan, 
 
 That reading him no lover fears 
 
 Soft vehicles for fighs and tears. 
 
 Inflru6ted by his learned code 
 
 What makes a jig or forms an ode, 1 135 
 
 We view what various beauties meet 
 
 To leave each fragrant line fo fvveet ; 
 
 How Horace's lines our paflions keep 
 
 A"vvake, and Bentley's lull afleep.
 
 MISCELLANIES. I<3lf 
 
 No verfe can moan a limping foot 1140 
 
 But he applies his plafter to 't ; 
 
 With pious care binds up the fore, 
 
 And kindly bids it hop no morel 
 
 While v/ich his helping comments nigh, 
 
 Inftead of crutches to apply II45 
 
 To crazy verfe, (which envious Time 
 
 Had weakened both in fenfe and rhyme) 
 
 For a lame Mufe's furgeon meet, 
 
 Inftead of legs fets broken feet. 
 
 Tho' no one fmgie charm can fly II50 
 
 The fearch of his fagacious eye, 
 
 (That Horace* but in vain pretends 
 
 To own a line which Bentley mends) 
 
 The rcv'rend critick hardly knows 
 
 If David wrote in verfe or profe, I J55 
 
 While ev'ry ftring and founding wire 
 
 That erft compos'd the Roman lyre 
 
 Were to the fage as fully known 
 
 As if the harp had been his own ! 
 
 Couldil thou, great Bard ! without a qualm I160 
 
 But hear rehears'd one pious pfalm, 
 
 To flighted David lend an ear, 
 
 Not fwooning what he fung to hear. 
 
 We then might view thy learn'd abodes 
 
 With hymns adorn'd inftead of odes, 1 1 65 
 
 * See Horatius Emendatus, and Dr. Bentlej^'s Dedication 
 of Horace to the Earl of Oxford, dcHi^i-ed for the late treafu- 
 rer if he had continued in his poll till laft Cluiftnias. Kin^.
 
 Ic6 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 And thou thyfelf perhaps content 
 To con him o'er at leall in Lent ; 
 To mortify the jewifh chufc 
 Regaling on the Latian Mule. 
 
 Clofe by where wits in purple pride Iiyoi 
 
 And all their glory dreft prefide, 
 Beneath a dark and gloomy cell 
 A lazy goddefs chofe to dwell, 
 ■\Vell pleas'd to flumber out her time 
 'Twixt fleepy profe and drowfy rhyme, 1 1 75 
 
 Dating from books her empire's fame ; 
 Oblivion was her dreaded name : 
 On verfe and laudanum fhe feeds. 
 Now takes a dofe, now poems reads j 
 Each of expericnc'd pow'r to clofe I180 
 
 Hef finking eyes in foft repofe ; 
 "While Bentley, of more fov'reign ufe 
 Than rhyme itfelf or poppy juice. 
 The goddefs trembles to explore 
 For fear of never waking more. II 85 
 
 Each weeping wall bedew'd appears 
 With Chloe's fighs and Strephon's tears ; 
 Sad dirges, breathing lovers' pain, 
 And foft complaints of virgins flain ; 
 While Females' Sonnets, Poets' Themes, II90 
 
 Beaux' Stratagems, Projedlors' Dreams, 
 Around the lonely ^Irudure fly, 
 Sliamber a while, and gently die.
 
 MISCELLANIES. JO^ 
 
 A thoufand wretched things, above 
 The joys of wine the fweets of love, II95 
 
 That kindly promib'd dcathlefs fame 
 And glories to their author's name. 
 Here in one mouth for reft retire, 
 Defcend, and decently expire; 
 
 Scatter'd delightful to her eye J200 
 
 Reams of Reviews and Medleys lie, 
 Wide to extend her empire's fway, 
 Keeping their fires above in pay; 
 Soft tranfport gliding thro' her breaft, 
 Of Tutchin's works entire pofleft, laoj 
 
 Who to augment the goddefs' pow'r 
 Was feldom known to flip an hour 
 That did not gratefully produce 
 Whole pages for his fov'rcign's ufe ; 
 While now and then a mitred friend I2IO 
 
 Is gracioufly inclin'd to fend 
 His tributes, and a gift beftows 
 Among her Bunyans and De Foes. 
 O'ercome with rapture to furvey 
 Melodious nonfenfe round her lay, 1*15 
 
 (While here each fruitful lab'ring prefs 
 Groan'd with feraphick emptinefs. 
 Which ev'ry hour fpontaneous came, 
 Kind to enrol its author's name) 
 While the great patriots of her reign IZie 
 
 That with her pens her fame fullain,
 
 IC8 MISCELLANIES, 
 
 Wits, crltlcks, politicians, beaux, 
 
 In aieafure nod, and fleep in rows, 
 
 Soft tranfport does her thoughts employ 
 
 While thus fbe fpeaks her riCng joy : 1 225 
 
 " Hail, mighty Names! to whom I ov/e 
 *' My empire's fpreading fame below, 
 " By whofe kind labours I outdo 
 *' The Vatican and Bodley too, 
 *' Who flighted fame above difdain 1 230 
 
 *' With me in filent night to reign : 
 ** What rival pow'r did e'er furvey 
 " A nobler hoft adorn his fway ! 
 *• You, blefl: Affociates! bed can tell 
 ** What numbers at my altars fell ^^25 
 
 *' When you approach'd, and only flay 
 *' Above to own my fov'reign fway. 
 •' 'Twas I infpir'd great Whiflon's theme *, 
 ** And nobly taught him to bkfpheme : 
 *' By me inftruifted he withdrew 1240 
 
 *' To head a young apoftate crew, 
 •* Who proud of luch a leader grown 
 •' With his flale nonfenfe mix their own : 
 *' Lifping their trade they firft begin, 
 ** By flow degrees advance in fin, I245 
 
 ** Till ripen'd by improving time 
 *' To thy gi ay hoary fame they climb, 
 * A vvhimlical thsorift, and a Ute apoftate to Socinianifm,
 
 MISCELLANIES. fOp 
 
 ** And claim thofe laurels as their due 
 
 *' Juftice before affign'd to you. 
 
 *' The Grecian fages* too decree I250 
 
 *''The fame of all they write to me : 
 
 *' Beneath my influence kindly bred, 
 
 *' Proud to blafpheme before they read, 
 
 *' In the dull trade improve fo v,'eH, 
 
 *' Firfl; fwear, and after learn to fpeli, 1255 
 
 *' And oft' a deathlefs name complete 
 
 *' Ere perfect in their alphabet. 
 
 *' Oh! would they oft' in print appear, 
 
 *' What reams of ftufFeach fruitful year 
 
 *' Would downward fink to fwell my fame, 1260 
 
 " Dully confelFing whence they came, 
 
 " The hateful realms of lieht forego 
 
 ' * To hang in empty ftioals below, 
 
 " Whnfe labours, like a glimm'ring fire, 
 
 " Kindly as foon as born expire, izCs 
 
 "Scarce th' age of one (hort day furvive, 
 
 *' Stone dead ere breathing well alive ! 
 
 ** ■ Twas I alone that hither drew 
 
 *' From Tiber's bank f the v/arbHng crew 
 
 *' That charm, our wond'ring theatres 1 2 70 
 
 *' With witty lions f, bulls, and bears, 
 
 * A fcandalous atheiitlcal club at the Grecian CofTeeliovifc. 
 King. 
 
 t The Italian fiilgers. K:ng. 
 
 + See Hydafpes, act third, a hero drubbing a lion. Kiiii. 
 Volume II. K
 
 IIG WISCELLANlE.v, 
 
 ** Defign'd (if Fame fays true) this fpring 
 
 *' To learn their gamut too and ling, 
 
 " Whofe gay harmonious nonfenfe drovvn'd 
 
 *' Beneath foft airs and helping found 
 
 *' Paffes with criticks of the pit 
 
 " For flerling fenfc and Fnglilh wit. 
 
 •' Each valet now niufl blow his fire 
 
 <' la notes as foft as Alamire, 
 
 *' Nor dare perfume his mafttr's hair 
 
 *' Or rub his boots without an air; 
 
 " Hear him in fuftefl; muficlc tell 
 
 *' His lordiliip's running nag is well ; 
 
 ' * Oblig'd a bolder note to ufe, 
 
 *' Informing when he loil his flioes ; 
 
 *' Still rifing to a nobler ftrain, 
 
 " To paint him fcouring o'er the plain : 
 
 *' The rival waitingmaid, to find 
 
 *' Her fpark to mufick thus inclin'd, 
 
 *• Tells madam, finging. That Ihe fpoils 
 
 *• Her tea to drink it ere it boils; 
 
 •* While notes more penfive far relate 
 
 *' Her hpdog's unexpected fate: 
 
 •i' The hero burning to engage 
 
 *' Mofi fvveetly murmurs out his rage, 
 
 " Defers to fliew his wrath too foon, 
 
 *' Or kill his foe to fpoil his tune ; 
 
 <♦ Tho' both are warm'd with equal fire, 
 
 •>' They cann't without one forg expire j
 
 MISCELLANIES. Ill 
 
 " In doleful dirges, but too late, J3CO 
 
 " Hear how they figh each other's fate ; 
 *' For notes thro' all the gamut try 
 '* To fall more tunefully and die. 
 
 *' See how my crowded region fills 
 " With colonies entire from Will's * ; 13<^5 
 
 '* Slumb'ring in rival ranks they fnore, 
 *' And meditate ftiarp clinch no more ; 
 *' Their merit by their dulnefs prove, 
 *' Outdreaniing thofe they left above ! 
 
 *' It was I, my empire to enlarge, 1310 
 
 " Gave Hoadley firft my royal charge 
 ** To preach rebellion, and in fpitc 
 *' Of duty, oaths, and fenfe, to write : 
 *' It is I that by my influence llill 
 " Direcft great Toknd's f facred quill; 1315 
 
 *' And lately by my foothing pow'r 
 *' Seduc'd myfterious Dodwell I o'er, 
 ** Who to his bright immortal fame 
 " Was never known fix weeks the fame ! 
 *' While Fate thus makes a fmall amends 13 20 
 
 *' For what I lofl in lander friends, 
 
 * A celebrated acr.der>.-.y in Covent Garden obliged by its 
 charter to furuilh out a doi^^n of Englilh wits every year. Ki7ig. 
 X An infolent audacioih; Deift and republican, Kiig. 
 % See The Natural Mortality of tiie Soul, by Mr. Dodwell. 
 
 King, 
 
 Kij
 
 Ill MISCELLANIES. 
 
 " (As when it forc'd me to bewail 
 
 *' Great Hcbbes's death flill left me Bayle *) 
 
 '* Filling that fpace that was delign'd 
 
 " For Sarum's | labours ftiil behind. 1325 
 
 " See how tiiat wall is fadly hung 
 " With doleful verfe by ladies fung, 
 " And penfive airs by lovers try'd 
 *' Jril as they kindly kifs'd and dy'd : 
 *' With dreams and fighs the next is blurr'd, 133® 
 " With Dolben's eloquence a third ; 
 " While to the wicked Baxter's Call 
 *' Quite covers and obfcures them all. 
 •' Swifb lumber fmks to our abodes 
 *'• Not poorly by the quire but loads; ^335 
 
 " While J.eydeii rhymes fubmiiiive ccme, 
 " And croaking fupplicate for room. 
 *' Scotch creeds \ and articles explain'd 
 " Clofe by in fllence fiumb'ring reign'd, 
 *' With myftick comments fo perplex'd 1 340 
 
 *' The notes are darker than the text. 
 " Fam'd theorifis by dozens rot (|, 
 " Jull as the worlds they fram'd forgot, 
 
 * Two intimate friends, an Englifli Athcift and a Dutch 80- 
 cinlan. Kini. 
 
 t Gilbert Burnet, Bilhop of Sarum. 
 
 $ Tlie Solemn League, much preferable to the Apoftles* 
 creed about Fdiiib-jrpjh. Kin^, 
 
 W See The Mofaic.il Hiftory, correded and confuted by 
 Whifton, Woodward, Burnet, Cartefiusj and Ovid's Metamor- 
 phofcs. A7;'J-
 
 MISCELLANIES, 113 
 
 ** And in thofc very atoms fall 
 
 *' They vainly forg'd to raile this ball, 1345 
 
 *' Which prov'd their thefis partly true, 
 
 *' Fate ne'er could build but might undo, 
 
 " And that dull bocks might fooner dance 
 
 " Than planets Into form by chance. 
 
 " Would fmiling Fate but once infpire ^35*^ 
 
 *' Hibernian bards to touch the lyre, 
 
 " Gently in Dublin airs to fing, 
 
 *' And their fam'd Harp's * long filcnt firing, 
 
 ** Now w^anting room I mull implore 
 
 *' Kind Hcav'n with ardent vows for more : 1355 
 
 *' Where fhali I place my future friends 
 
 *' If Collins monthly tribute fends? 
 
 *' If Clarke and Hare to choke me quite 
 
 *' Without remorfe or pity v/ritc ? 
 
 " Ye envious niggard Pow'rs! whoe'er 13^0 
 
 *' Allot each god his empire's fhare', 
 
 " To all fuch fpacious realms affign'd 
 
 '* Why am I only thus confin'd ? 
 
 •* From theirs how diflf'rent is my doom ! 
 
 *' They grieve for fubjedls 1 for room. ^3^5 
 
 " Extend my realms below, great Jove ! 
 
 " Or {lop great Boyer's pen above : 
 
 " Gods! in what fable liquid faow'rs 
 
 " And inky deluges he pours 
 
 * The arms of Ireland. Kiftg. 
 
 nj
 
 114 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 *' Each year his fickly nonfenfc down ! ^S'O 
 
 *' Ten fuch would half my empire drown, 
 
 ** And force me to preferve my breath 
 
 ** To quit my ftifling cell beneath. 
 
 *' Whatever theme his Mufe has got 
 
 ** She flill maintainsher fav'rite trot; 1375 
 
 ** Still one dull pace demurely jogs 
 
 *' O'er rivers, meadows, lawns, and bogs; 
 
 *' While drefl with equal charms are feen 
 
 *' A milkmaid here and there a queen, 
 
 ** And {trains as mournful fill the Iky 1380 
 
 *' When porters as when monarchsdie!" 
 
 Still to proceed the goddefs try'd 
 Till Steele's immortal works efpy'd, 
 Trembling her dreaded foe to view 
 She funk and filently withdrew, 1 3 85 
 
 While Sarum's labours round her fprcad 
 Suftain and prop her drowfy head. 
 
 Hail, mighty Name ! of all thy pen 
 Has dropt to charm both gods and men 
 Time nor oblivion e'er flial! boaft 1390 
 
 One line or fingle peried loft ! 
 Improving youth and hoary age 
 Are better'd by thy matchlefs page ; 
 And, what no mortal could devife, 
 Women by reading thee grow wife ; ^395 
 
 Divines had taught and hufbands rav'd, 
 Kow threatcn'd, then as poorly crav'd,
 
 MISCELLANIES. II5 
 
 But fpite of all the ftubborn dame 
 
 Remain'd our curfe, and flill the fame; 
 
 Modifli and flippant as before 14CO 
 
 The fmoothing paint and patch are wore ; 
 
 Two hours each morning fpent to drefs, 
 
 And not one ounce of tea the lefs, 
 
 While the provoking idiot vovv's 
 
 Her lover fairer much than fpoufe. f-A^S 
 
 Great Socrates but vainly try'd 
 To footh the paflions of his bride ; 
 Her female empire flill ilie holds, 
 And as he preaches peace fhe fcolds. 
 In vain he talks, in vain he writes, I410 
 
 One ki fling while the other bites. 
 Precepts with her and moral rules 
 Are only ginns to hamper fools ; 
 And preach and didate what he will 
 Madam perfifts Xantippe flill. 1 4 15 
 
 But wedlock by thy art is got 
 To be a foft and eafy knot, 
 Which fmiling fpoufe and kinder bride 
 Now feldom wilh fliould be unty'd, 
 Think parting now the greateft fm, 14 20 
 
 And flrive more clofe to draw the ginn. 
 Taught by thcfe rules thy pen infcils 
 Nobly to conquer human ills, 
 The female fuff 'rer nov/ fuftains 
 Each mournful iofs vvith kffcn'd pains : 1425
 
 Xl6 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 A week is now enough to pine 
 
 "When puking lapdog cannot dine; 
 
 While grief as real fwells her eyes 
 
 When Ipoufe as when her parrot dies. 
 
 The fop no longer fl^iall believe 1430 
 
 Senfe ty'd to ev'ry modilh fleeve, 
 
 Nor, confcious of his wants, prcl'ume 
 
 To meafure merit by perfume; 
 
 That courage in Pulvilio dwells, 
 
 The boldefl he who flrongefl fmclls : I435 
 
 To prove his fenfe no longer bring 
 
 The doughty proofs of box and ring, 
 
 Strongly profefllng ne'er to know 
 
 An afs conceal'd beneath a beau. 
 
 Each taught by thee fliall hence confcfs I440 
 
 Virtue has no regard for drefs ; 
 
 That the bright nymph as olten dwells 
 
 In homely bays as rural colls. 
 
 And in a ruflf as fairly fnin'd 
 
 As now to modern peak confin'd ; I445f 
 
 Blafliing thus half expos'd to view 
 
 Both herfelf and miftrefs too. 
 
 The widow pining for her dear 
 Shall curfe no more the tedious year, 
 In fighs confume each penfive day, 1450 
 
 Nor think it long from June to May. 
 See how the penfive relict lies 
 Opprtfs'd with fpoufe's fate and dies !
 
 MISCELLANIES. llj 
 
 That Betty with her drops in vain 
 Recalls her flying foul again. 1455 
 
 No colour now fo fair appears 
 As is the fable veil llie wears, 
 To be her only garment vow'd, 
 Till death exchange it for a Ihroud, 
 -And her cold aflies kindly place 1460 
 
 Once more within her lord's embrace ! 
 The ladies pleas'd with thee to dwell 
 Afpire to write corred and fpell : 
 Wc fcarce behold, tho' writ in hafle, 
 Five letters in a fcore mifplac'd ; I465 
 
 Marfhall'd in rank they all appear 
 With no front vowels in the rear. 
 Nor any out of Ihame or dread 
 Sculking behind that Ihould have led. 
 In ev'ry line they now demur; I470 
 
 'Tis now no longer Wurthee Surr ! 
 With half our ufual fweat and pain 
 We both unravel and explain, 
 Nor call in foreign aid to find 
 
 In myfiick terms the fair one's mind. 1475 
 
 Maintain, great Sage ! thy deathlefs name ; 
 Thou canfl no wider ftretch thy fame 
 Till gliding from her native fkies 
 Virtue once more delighted flies, 
 By each adoring patriot own'd, 
 And boaiis herfelf by thee enthron'd. 1481
 
 1 
 
 Il8 JftlSCELLANIES. 
 
 THE LAST BILLET. 
 
 September and November now were paft 
 When men in bonfires did their firing wafle, 
 Yet flill my moni;mcntal Log did laft : 
 To begging boys it was not made a prey 
 On the king's birth or coronation day. 5 
 
 Why with thofe Oaks, under whofe facred fhade 
 Charles was preferv'd, fhould any fire be made ? 
 At laft a froft, a difmal froft ! there came 
 lAke that which made a market upon Thame : 
 Unruly company v/ould then have made lo 
 
 Fire with this Log, whilft thus its owner pray'd : 
 *' Thou that art worfliipp'd in Dodona's grove 
 *' From all thy lacrcd Trees fierce flames remove ; 
 ** Prelerve this groaning Branch : O hear my pray'r ! 
 *' Spare me this one, this one poor Billet fpare, 15 
 *' That having many fires and flames withflood 
 *' Its ancient tefl.imonial may laft good 
 *' In future times to prove 1 once had Wooc 
 
 THE MAD LOVER. 
 
 I'll from my breaft tear fond dtfire 
 Since I^aura is not mine ; 
 I '11 ftrive to cure the am'rousfire, 
 And quench the flame with wine. 
 
 hftood -J 
 iod!"i8 J
 
 MISCELLANIES. IlJJt 
 
 Perhaps in groves and cooling fliade 
 
 Soft flumbers I may find ; 
 
 There all the vows to Laura made 
 
 Shall vanifh with the wind. % 
 
 The fpeaking firings and charming fong 
 
 My pafiion may remove : 
 
 Oh! mufick will the pain prolong, 
 
 And is the food of Love. i% 
 
 I 'llfearch heav'n, earth, hell, feas, and air. 
 
 And that fliall fet me free : 
 
 Oh ! liaura's image will be there 
 
 Where Laura will not be. l6 
 
 My foul muft ftill endure the pain 
 
 And with frefh torment rave ; 
 
 For none can ever break the chain 
 
 That once was Laura's Aave. ao 
 
 THE SOLDIER'S WEDDING, 
 
 A SOLILOQUY BY NAN. T IIRASH ER WELL, 
 
 Being part of a Play called The Neiu Troop. 
 
 O My dear Thraflierwell! you 're gone to fea. 
 
 And happinefs muih ever banifli'd be 
 
 Froiji our llock-bed, our garret, and from me 
 
 :-|
 
 120 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Perhaps he Is on land at Portfmouth now 
 
 In the embraces of feme Hamplhire fow, 5 
 
 Who with a wanton pat cries, " Now, my Dear! 
 
 ** You 're wifliing for fome Wapping doxy here."— 
 
 *' Pox on them all ! but moil on bouncing Nan, 
 
 *' With whom the torments of my life began : 
 
 ** She Is a bitter one !" — You lie, you Rogue ! 10 
 
 You are a trcach'rous, falfe, ungrateful, dog. 
 
 Did not I take you up without a fhirt .'' 
 
 Wo worth the hand that fcrubb'd off all your dirt ! 
 
 Did not my int'reft lift you in the Guard f 
 
 And had not you ten {hillings? my reward. 15 
 
 Did I not then before the Sergeant's face 
 
 Treat Jack, Tom, Will, and Martin, with difgrace, 
 
 And Thralherwell before all others chufe, 
 
 When I had the whole regiment to loofe f 
 
 Curs'd be the day when you produc'd your fword, 20 
 
 The jufl revenger of your injur'd word ! 
 
 The martial youth round in a circle flood, 
 
 With envious looks of love and itching blood : 
 
 You with fome oaths that flgnify'd confent 
 
 Cry'd," Tom is Nan's !" and o'er the fword you went: 
 
 Then I with fome more modefty would ftep; 26 
 
 The Enfign thumb'd my bum and made me leap : 
 
 I leap'd Indeed; and you prevailing men 
 
 Leave us no pow'r of leaping back again. 29
 
 MISCELLANIES. 131 
 
 THE OLD CHEESE. 
 
 Young Slouch the farmer had a jolly wife 
 
 That knew all the conveniencies of life, 
 
 Whofe diligence and cleanlinefs fupply'd 
 
 The wit which Nature had to him deny'd, 
 
 But then Ihe had a tongue that would be heard', 5 
 
 And make a better man than Slouch afeard : 
 
 This made cenforious perfons of the town 
 
 Say Slouch could hardly call his foul his own ; 
 
 For if he went abroad too much, {he 'd ufe-- ' 
 
 To give him flippers and lock up his fhocs. lo 
 
 Talking he lov'd; and ne'er was more afHiAed 
 
 Than when he was difturb'd or contradi'dted ; 
 
 Yet ftill into his ftory fhe would break 
 
 ■\\'ith " 'Tis not fo — Pray give me leave to fpcak," 
 
 His friends thought this was a tyrannick rule, 15 
 
 Not diff'ring much from calling of him fool. 
 
 Told him he muft exert himfelf, and be 
 
 In fdCl the mafter of his family. 
 
 He faid "That the next Tuefdaynoon would fhow 
 " WHicthcr he were the lord at home or no, 20 
 
 *' When their good company he would entreat 
 *' To w^ell-brew'd ale and clean if homely meat." 
 With aking heart home to his wife he goes, 
 And on his knees does his rafn a6t difclofe. 
 And prays dear Sukey that one day at leafl: 25 
 
 He might appear as mailer of the fcaft. 
 
 Volume II. Ij
 
 *' 1 '11 grant your "wifh," cries fhe, ** that you may fee 
 *' 'Twere wifdom to be goverri'd flill by me." 
 
 The gaefl.3 upon the day appomted came, 
 Each bowfy farmer with his fimp'ring dame. 30 
 *' Ho, Su!" cries Slouch, " whydoft not thou appear? 
 *' Are thefe thy manners when aunt Snap is here V 
 ** I pardon aik," fays Su ; " 1 'd not oifend 
 ** Any my dear inntes, much lefs his friend." 
 
 Slouch by his kinfman GrufTy had been taught 2S 
 To entertain his friends with finding fault, 
 And make the main ingredient of his treat 
 His faying " There was nothing fit to eat : 
 *' The boil'd pork ftinks, the roail beef is not enough, 
 *' The bacon is rufly, and the hens are tough ; 40 
 *' The veal is all rags, the butter is turn'd to oil, 
 ** And thus 1 buy good meat for fluts to fpoii. 
 *' 'Tis we are the fii-fl Slouches ever fat 
 *' Down to a pudding without plums or fat. 
 *» What teeth or ftomach is ftrong enough tp feed 45 
 *' Upon a goofe my grannum kept to breed ? 
 ** Why mufl bid pigeons, and they ftalc, be dreft, 
 *' When there is fo many fquab ones in the nefl ? 
 " This beer is four, this mufty thick and dale, 
 *' And worfc than any thing except the ale." 
 
 Su all this while many excufes made ; 
 Some things fhe own'd ; at other times : 
 The fault on chance, but oft'ntr on the maid. 
 
 fl-ie laid C 
 : maid. J
 
 MrSCELLAN.I«S. -1^3 
 
 T-hen Gheefewas brought. SaysSlouch,** This e'en 
 
 " fhallrall; 
 *' I *m fure it is hard enou^ to make a bowl ; 55 
 •' This is ikimmilk, and therefore it fhall go ; 
 *' And this becaufe it is Suffolk follow too." 
 ^ut now Su's patience did begin to wafle. 
 Nor longer could diffimiilation laft, 
 *' Pray let me rife," fays Sti, " my Dear ! I'll find 
 *' A Gheefe perhaps may be to Lovy's mind." 61 
 Then in an entry ftanding clofe, where he 
 Alone and none of all his friends might ffee, 
 And brandilhing a cudgel he had felt, 
 And far enough on this occafion fmelt, 6^ 
 
 " I '11 try, my Joy !" flie cry'd, " if I can pleafe 
 ** My deareft with a tafle of his Old Cheefe !" 
 
 Slouch turn'd hishead, faw hi? wife's vig'rous hand 
 Wielding her oaken fapling o,f command; 
 ICnewwelltlie twang. "is'ttheOldCheefemyDear!' 
 *' No need, no need of Cheefe," cries Slouch 
 
 " fwear 
 '* I think I 've din'd as well as mv Lord 
 
 d; 
 
 'emyDear!"! 
 
 uch;"I'll( 
 
 Mayor!" J 
 
 THE SKILLET. 
 
 1 wo neighbours, Clod apd Jolt, would marry'd be. 
 But did not in their choice of wives agree. 
 Clod thought a cuckold was a monflrous beaft, 
 With tvfo huge glaring eyes and fpreading creft, 
 
 Lij
 
 IZ4 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Therefore refolving never to be fuch, 5 
 
 Marry'd a wife none but himfelf could touch. 
 Jolt thinking marriage was decreed by Fate, 
 Which fliews us whom to love and whom to hate, 
 To a young handfome jolly lafs made court, 
 And gave his friends convincing reafonsfor 't, lo 
 That fmce in life fuch mifchief mufl be had 
 Beauty had fomething flill that was not bad. 
 Within tv/o months Fortune was pleas'd to fend 
 A tinker to Clod's houfe with *' Erafs to mend." 
 The good old wife furvey'd the brawny fpark, i^ 
 And found his chine was large tho' count'nance dark. 
 Firll file appears in all her airs, then tries 
 The iquinting efforts of her am'rous eyes. 
 Much time was fpent and much defire exprefl ; 
 At laft the tinker cry'd, " Few words arc bell : 20 
 *' Give me that Skillet then ; and if I 'm true 
 ** I dearly earn it for the work I do." 
 They 'greed; they parted. On the tinker goes 
 With the fame llroke of pan and twang of nofe. 
 Till he at Jolt's beheld a fprightly dame 25 
 
 That fct his native vigour all on flame. 
 He looks, fighs, faints, at laft begins to cry, 
 *' And can you then let a young tinker die ?" 
 Says fhc, " Give me your Skillet then and try. 
 *' My Skillet ! both my heart and Skillet take; 
 *' 1 wilh it were a copper for your fake." 
 
 1
 
 MISCELLANIES. t%S 
 
 After all this not many days did pafs 
 Clod fitting at Jolt's houfe furvey'd the brafs 
 And glitt'ring pewter {landing on the Ihelf, 
 Then after fome gruff mutt'ring with himfelf ^s 
 Cry'd, " Pr'ythee, Jolt, how came that Skillet thine!" 
 *' Vouknow as well as 1," quoth Jolt; '' it'en'tmine; 
 *' But I'll afk Nan." 'Twas done: Nan told the matter 
 In truth asitwas ; then cry'd, " You've got the better: 
 *' For tell me, Deareft ! whether you would chufe 40 
 *' To be a gainer by me or to lofe? 
 ** As for our neighbour Clod, this I dare fay, 
 ** We 've Beauty and a Skillet more than they." 43 
 
 THE FISHERMAN. 
 
 1 OM Banks by native induflry was taught 
 The various arts how iiflies might be caught. 
 Sometimes with trembling reed and fmgle hair. 
 And bait conceal'd, he 'd for their death prepare, 
 With melancholy thoughts and downcafl eyes 5 
 Expecting till deceit had gain'd its prize. 
 Sometimes in riy'lct quick and water clear 
 They 'd meet a fate more gen'roas from his fpear. 
 To bafket oft' he 'd pliant oficrs turn, 
 Where they might entrance find but no return. 10 
 His net well pois'd with lead he 'd fometimes throw," 
 Encircling thus his captives all below : 
 
 L iij
 
 :^a.6 MISCELLANIES, 
 
 But when he would a quick dcftrti^illcn make, 
 
 And from afar much larger booty take, 
 
 He 'd thro' the ftream where moll defcending fct 
 
 From fide to fide his ftrong capacious net, 1 6 
 
 And then his ruftick crew with mighty poles 
 
 Would drive his prey out from their oozy holes. 
 
 And fo purfuc thtm down the rolling flood 
 
 ( jafping for breath, and almofl chok'd with mud, 2Q 
 
 Till they of farther paffage quite bereft 
 
 Were in themafh with gills entangled left. 
 
 Trot, who liv'd down the ftream, ne'er thought his 
 "Was good unlefs he had his water clear. [bceF 
 
 He goes to Banks, and thus begins hi' tale : 25 
 
 *' Lord ! if you knew but how the people i ail ! 
 ** They cannot boil, norwafli, nurrinfe, they fay, 
 *' With water fometimcs ink and fometimes whey, 
 *' According as you meet with niud or clay, 
 *' Befides, my wife thefe fix months could not brew, 
 " And now the blame of this all is laid on you ; 31 
 *' For it will be a difmal thing to think 
 *' How we old Trots mufl live and have no drink ; 
 *' Tlierefore I pray fome other method take 
 *' Of filhing, were it only for our fake.'* j/ 
 
 Says Eanks, *' I 'm forry it fnould be my lot 
 *' Ever to difoblige my goflip Trot : 
 ** Yet it 'en't my fault ; butfo it is Fortune tries one 
 *• To make his meat become his neighbour's yoifci; : 
 
 1
 
 AlISCELLANIES. 127 
 
 ** And fo we pray for winds upon this coaft 40 
 
 *' By which on th' other navies may be loft ; 
 
 *' Therefore in patience reft tho' I proceed ; 
 
 *' There is no illnature in the cafe but need. 
 
 *• Tho' for your ufe this water will not ferve, 
 
 *' I 'drather you fhould choke than Ifhouldftarve. "45 
 
 1 
 
 THE CONSTABLE. 
 
 vJne night a fellow wand'ring without fear. 
 As void of money as he was of care, 
 Confid'ring both were walh'd away with beer, 
 With Strap the Conftable by fortune meets, 
 Whofe lanterns glare in the moft filent ftreets. 5 
 Refty, impatient any one ftiould be 
 So bold as to be drunk that night but he, [late ? 
 
 *' Stand; who goes there," cries Strap, *' at hours fo 
 ** Anfwer. Your name j or elfehave at your pate." — ^ 
 *' I wo'ntftand,'caufclcami't. Why muft you know 
 '* From whence it is T come or where I go i"' 1 1 
 
 *' See here my ftaff," cries Strap; " trembling be- 
 *' Its radiant paint and ornamental gold : [hold 
 
 *' Wooden authority when thus I wield 
 " Perfons of ail degrees obedience yield. 15 
 
 *' Then be you the heft man in all the City, 
 *' Mark me, I to The Counter will commit ye." 
 
 " You ! kifs, and fo forth. For that ne'er fpare :■ 
 *' If that be all commit me if you dare ;
 
 lit MlSCELLANlF.S. 
 
 *' No perfon yet either thro' fear or ftiams id 
 
 *' Durft commit me that once had heard my name. 
 " Pray then what isit?"—" My name is Adultery; 
 '* And faith your future life would pleafant 
 *' Did your wife know you once committed me. "24- 
 
 iltery; ~\ 
 be f 
 
 THE BEGGAR WOMAN. 
 
 A GENTi.EMyVN in hunting rodc aftray 
 
 More out of choice than that he loft his way; 
 
 He let his company the hare purfne, ■'- 
 
 For he himfcif had other game in view; 
 
 A Beggar by her trade, yet not fo mean 5 
 
 JBut that her cheeks were frefh and linen clean. 
 
 *' Miftrefs," quoth he, " and what if we two fhou'd 
 
 *' Retire a little way into the wood ?" 
 
 She needed not much courtfliip to be kind; 
 He ambles on before, fhe trots behind ; 10 
 
 For little Bobby to her fhoulders bound 
 Hinders the gentle dame from ridding ground. 
 He often alk'd her to expofe, but flie 
 Still fcar'd the coming of his company. 
 Fays file, " I know an unfrequented place 
 ** To the left hand where we our time may pafs 
 " And the meanwhile your horfe may find fome 
 
 "grafs." 
 Thither they come, and both the horfe fecure; 
 'I'hcn thinks the fquire I haye the m.Wcr furc. 
 
 q
 
 ] 
 
 MISCEI-LANIE.S. I29 
 
 She Is afk'd to fit ; but then excufe is made ; zo 
 
 " Sitting," fays flie, " i^s not ufual in my trade : 
 
 *' Should you be rude jand then fliouldthrow me down, 
 
 *' I mig^lit perhaps break more backs than my own." 
 
 He fmiling cries, " Come, I '11 the knot untie, 
 
 " Andif you mean the child's we '11 lay it by." 25 
 
 Says fhe," That cann't be done, for then it will cry. 
 
 " 1 'd not have us, but chiefly for your fake, 
 
 *' Difcover'd by the hideous noife it would make. ' 
 
 *' Ufe is another nature, and it would lack 
 
 *' More than the breall its cullom to the back." 30 
 
 ** Then," fays the gentleman, " I fiiould be loth 
 
 " To come fo far and difoblige you both : 
 
 *' Were the child ty'd to me d' ye think it would do?" 
 
 ** Mighty well. Sir! oh Lord! if ty'd to you." 
 
 With fpeed incredible to work Ihe goes, 35 
 
 And.from her fhouldersfoon the burthen throws ; 
 Then mounts the infant with a gentle tofs 
 Upon her gen'rous friend, and like a crofs 
 The fheet flie with a dext'rous m.otion winds, 
 Till a firm knot the wand'ring fabrick binds. 40 
 
 The gentleman had fcarce got time to know 
 What file was doing : Ihe about to go 
 Cries, " Sir, good by'e ! be n't angry that we part ; 
 *' I truft the child to you with all my heart ; 
 *' But ere you get another it 'en't amifs 
 *' To try a year or two how you '11 keep this." 46
 
 tlO MISCELLANIES/ 
 
 THE VESTRY. 
 
 aV iTiiiN the (hire of Nottingham there liet 
 A parlfh fam'd, becaufcthe men were wife : 
 Of their own drain they had a teacher fought 
 Who all his life was better fed than taught. 
 It was about a quarter of a year 5 
 
 Since he had fnor'd, and ate, and fatten'd there, 
 When he the houfekeepers their wives and all ' ' 
 Did to a fort of pari(h meeting call, 
 Promifing fomething which well iindcrftcod 
 In little time would turn to all their good. 10 
 
 When met he thus harangues: " Neighbours, I find 
 *' That in ypur principles you 're well inclin'd, 
 *' But then you 're all felicitous for Sunday; 
 *' None fceni to have a due regard for Monday : 
 •' Mod people then their dinners have to feek, t^ 
 •* As if it were not the firft day of the week ; 
 •* But when you have hafh'd meat and nothing mor6 
 •• You only curfe the day that went before. 
 •' On Tuclday all folks dine by one confent, "y 
 
 *' And Wcdnefday is only faft by parliament ; ±0 r 
 *' But fading lure by Nature ne'er was meant. ' 
 *' The market will for Thurfday find a difli, 
 *' And Friday is a proper day for fifh : 
 ** After fifli Saturday requires fome meat ; 
 *' On Sunday you *re oblig'd by law to treat j 2^
 
 MISCELLANIES. IF^J 
 
 " And the fame law ordains a pudding then, 
 •'- To children grateful, nor unfit for men. 
 *' Take hens, geefe, turkeys, t-hen, or fomething light J 
 ** Becaufe their legs if hroil'd will ferve at night ; 
 *• And fince I frnd that roafl beef makes youfleep, j* 
 *' Corn if a little more and fo it will keep. 
 *' Roaft it on Monday; pity it IhouM be fpoil'd : 
 *• On Tuefday mutton either roail or boil'd : 
 •' On Vv'ediTefday fhould be fome variety, 
 *' A loin or breaft of veal and pigeon pre : ^§- 
 
 *' On Thurfday each man of his dilh make choice ; 
 *- 'Tisfit on market-days we all rejoice j 
 ** And then on Friday, as I faid before, 
 •' We '11 have a difli of filh and one difh more : 
 ** On Saturday flew'd beef with fomething nice, 40 
 -** Provided quick and tofs'd up in a trice, 
 " Becaufe that in the afternoon yau know 
 *' By cuftom we muft to the alehoufe go; 
 *' For elfe how fhould our houfes ere be clean 
 " Except we gave fome time to do it then ? 45 
 
 ** From whence, unlefs we value not our lives, 
 *' None part without rememb'ring firfl our wives. 
 " But thefe are {landing rules for ev'ry day, 
 •' And very good ones, as I fo may fay. 
 ** After each meat let us take a hearty cup ; jsj 
 
 *• And where we dine it is fitting that we fup. 
 
 " Now for the application and the ufe. 
 *' I fuund your care for Sunday an abufe j
 
 t^i MIStELLANlES. ■ 
 
 *' All would be aficing', Pray, Sir, where d' you dlneT 
 
 " I have roaft beef, choice ven'fon, turkey, chine. "55 
 
 '* Ev'ry one is bawling me. Then fay poor I 
 
 " It is a bitter bus'nefs to deny. 
 
 " But who is it cares for fourteen meals a-day ^ 
 
 '* As for my own part I had rather flay 
 
 ' ' And take them now and then — and here and there, 
 
 ** According to my prefent bill of fare. 61 
 
 *' You kuow I 'm fingle : if you all agree 
 
 ** To treat by turns each will be fure of me." 
 
 .The Veftry all applauded with ahum, ■ 'V "'' 
 And the fcv'n wifeft of them bad him comfe**-' '^'65 
 
 THE MONARCH. 
 
 \Vhen the young people ride the fkimmington . ' 
 There is a gcn'ral trembling in a town : 
 Not only he for whom the perfon rides 
 Suffers, but they fweep other doors befides; 
 And by that hieroglyphick does appear 5 
 
 That the good woman is the niafler there. 
 At Jenny's door the barb'rous Heathens fwept, 
 And his poor wife fcolded until fhe wept; 
 The mob fwept on, whilfl fhe feat forth in vain 
 Her vocal thunder and her briny rain. 10 
 
 Some few days after two young fparks came there, 
 And whilil Ihe does her coffee frefla prepare 
 One for difcourfe of news the mailer calls, 
 Th' other on this ungrateful fubjcd falls.
 
 WlSCELLANlfr«. 133 
 
 *' Pray, Mrs. Jenny *, whence came this report, 15 
 
 " for i believe there is no great rea'fon for 't, 
 
 *' As if the folks th' other day fwept your door, 
 
 " And half a dozen of your neighbours more ?" 
 
 *♦ There is nothing in it," faysjenny*; "thatlsdonc 
 
 *' Where the wife rules, but here I rule alone; 20 
 
 ** And Gentlemen, you 'd much miftaken be 
 
 ** If any one fhould not think that of me. 
 
 *• Within thefe walls my fuppliart vafTals know 
 
 *' What due obedience to their prince they owe, 
 
 *' And kifs thefhadow of my papal toe.- 
 
 *' My word is a law : when I tny pow'r advance 
 
 ** There is not a greater Mona-rch ev'n in France. 
 
 " Not the Mogul or Czar of Mufcovy, 
 
 " Not Prcfter John or Cham of Tartary, 
 
 '* Are in their houfes Monarch more than I. 30 
 
 ** My houfe my caftle is, and here I 'm king; 
 
 ** I 'm pope,.! *m cmp'ror, Monarch, ev'ry thing. 
 
 ** What tho' my wife be partner ofniy bed? 
 
 ** The Monarch's crown fits only on this head." 
 
 His wife hadplaguy ears as v/ell as tongue, 35 
 And hearing all thought his difcourfe too long : 
 Her confcience faid he fhould not tell fuch lies, 
 And to her knowledge fuch ; ihe therefore cries, 
 *' D' ye hear — you — Sirrah — Monarch — there .^— 
 *' Come down '■''-■^•■■' 39 
 
 ** And grind the coffee — or I 'H c^^Vour crown." 
 ' * So in the copy from \i-hicli we print, tlttroghit is evidsntlt 
 the Monarch him'.elf who fpeaks, 
 
 r^Lm^ IL M 
 
 
 ]
 
 134 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 THE GARDEN PLOT, 1709. 
 
 VV II EN Nubolh's Vineyard look'd fo fine 
 'I'he king cry'd out " Would this were uuue I" 
 And ytt uo rcafoii could prevail 
 To bring the ovvncrsi to a ialc. 
 
 Jczcbcl law with haughty pride 5 
 
 How Aliab gricv'dip be dcny'd, 
 And thua accoftcd him witJi fcorn ; 
 *^Sl^all Naboth malte a monarch moqrn ? 
 ** A king and Vfcc^i !, Jhc ground is your own ; 
 *• I '11 veil tiic Gardcu in the crown." lO 
 
 With that fht l,k;itch'ti a Plot, and made 
 Poor Naboth ^nlvycr with his head; ' 
 And when hii h^rmlcis blood was fpilt 
 The ground became the forfeit of his guilt. 
 
 Poor Hall, rtncwxi'dfor comely hair, 15 
 
 Whole hand* perhaps were not lo fair. 
 Yet had a Jezd)tl a» near. 
 Hall, of fmall tipripturc copvcrfation; 
 Yet howe'er Hungcrford'siiuotation, 
 Uy Ionic flrangCAiicttknt hid got, 20 
 
 The ilory of t|hisOardcn Plot, 
 Wifely forcfaw he might have rcafan 
 To dread a modern l)ill of treafon, 
 If Jc,zebel flioukl pleafe to want 
 lUs I'mall addition to her grant, 25 
 
 }
 
 MI3CEr.I,ANtE3< 135 
 
 Therefore refolv'd in humble fort 
 
 To begin fiiR and make his court; 
 
 And feeing npthintr tlfe would do 
 
 Gave a third part tp fave th' other two. 29 
 
 THEART OF MAKING PUDDINGS. 
 
 1. nASTVrUDDING. 
 
 I SING of food by Britifii nurfc dcfign'd 
 
 To make the ftripling brave and maiden kind ; 
 
 Delay not, Mufe ! in numbers to rehearfe 
 
 The pleafures of our life and finews of our verfe ; 
 
 Let Pudding's difli moll wholcfome be thy theme, 5 
 
 And dip thy fwcUing plumes in fragrant cream. 
 
 Sing then that Dilh fo fitting to improve 
 A tender modtfty and trembling love, 
 Swimming in butter of a golden hue, 
 Garnifh'd with drops of rofe's fpicy dew. 10 
 
 Sometimes tlu: frugal matron feems in hallc, 
 Nor cares to beat her Pudding into paftc ; 
 Yet milk in proper fkillct Ihc will place, 
 And gently fpice it Vv^ith a blade of mace. 
 Then fet fomc careful damfel to look to 't, 15 
 
 And dill to ftir away the bifliop's foot ; 
 For if burnt milk fliould to the bottom flick. 
 Like over-heated zeal it would make folks fick. 
 Into the milk her flour fhe gently throws, 
 As valets now \Y0uld powder tender beaux ; ao 
 
 Mij
 
 TJ$ MIlSCtLtAKTEi. 
 
 The liquid forms in Hafty Mafs unite, 
 
 Forms equally delicious as they 're white. 
 
 In fhining difh the Hafty Mafs is thrown, 
 
 Alid fcems to want no graces but its own ; 
 
 Yet ftill the houfewife brings in frefh fupplies 25 
 
 To gratify the taftc and pleafc the eyesj 
 
 She on the furface lumps of butter lays. 
 
 Which melting with the heat its beams difplays. 
 
 From whence it caufes, wondrous to behold, 
 
 A filvcr foil bedeck'd with ftreams of gold ! 30 
 
 II. A HEDGE-HOG AFTER A (QUAKING PUDDING. 
 
 As Neptune when the three-tongu'd fork he takes 
 With ftrength divine the globe terreftrial fhakes, 
 The higheft hills, Nature's ftupendous piles. 
 Break with the force and quiver into ifles, 
 Yet on the ruins grow the lofty pines, 35 
 
 And fnow unmelted in the vallics Ihines : 
 
 Thus when the dame her Hedge-hog Pudding 
 Her fork indents irreparable ftrcaks, [breaks. 
 
 The trembling lump with butier all around 
 Seems to perceive its fall and then be drown'd j 46 
 And yet the tops appear, whilft almonds thick 
 With bright loaf fugar on the furface ftick. 
 
 III. PUDDINGS OK VARIOUS COLOURS IN A DISH. 
 
 You, painter-like, now variegate the fhadc, 
 
 Apd thus from Puddings there is a landfcape made ;
 
 MISCELLANIES. I37 
 
 And Wife and I^ondon *, when they would difpofe 
 Their evergreens into wellorder'd rows, 46 
 
 So mix their Colours that each difF'rent plant 
 Gives light and fliadow as the others want, 
 
 JV. MAKING OF A GOOD PUDDING GETS A GOOD 
 HUSBAND. 
 
 Ye Virgins! as thefe lines you kindly take 
 
 So may you ftill fuch glorious Pudding make, 50 
 
 That crowds of youth may ever be at ftrife 
 
 To gain the fweet compofcr for his wife. 
 
 V. SACK AND SUGAR TO QUAKING PUDDING. 
 
 '* Oh, delicious!" 
 But where mufl our confeflion firft begin 
 If Sack and Sugar once be thought a fin ? 
 
 VI. BROILED PODDING. 
 
 Hid in the dark we mortals feldom know 5 jf 
 
 From whence the fource of happinefs may flow : 
 Who to Broii'd Pudding v/ould their thougVits l^ave 
 From bright Pewteria's loveGck difcontent ? [bent 
 Yet fo it was ; Pcwteria felt love's heat 
 In fiercer flames than thofe which roaft her meat. 60 
 No Pudding is loft but may with frefli delight 
 Be either fry'd next day or broii'd at night. 
 
 * The two royal gardeners King. 
 Miij
 
 XjS MISCELLANIES. 
 
 VII. MUTTON PUDDING. 
 
 But Mutton ! thou mofl nourifhing of meat! 
 Whofe fingle joint f may conftitute a treat, 
 When made a Pudding you excel the reft 
 As much as that of other food is befl. 66 
 
 RECEIPT TO MAKE AN OATMEAL PUDDING. 
 
 Oe Oats decorticated take two pound, 
 
 And of new milk enough the fame to drown J 
 
 Of raifms of the fun, fton'd, ounces eight, 
 
 Of currants cleanly pick'd an equal weight ; 70 
 
 Of fuet finely flic'd an ounce at ieaft, 
 
 And fix eggs newly taken from the nefl : 
 
 Seafon this mixture well with fait and fpice 
 
 Twill make a Pudding far exceeding rice ; 
 
 And you may fafely feed on it like farmers. 
 
 For the receipt is learned Dr. Harmer's. 76 
 
 RECEIPT TO MAKE A SACKPOSSET. 
 
 From far Barbadocs on the weftern main 
 Fetch fugar half a pound ; fetch fack from Spain 
 A pint; then fetch from India's fertile coall 
 Nutmeg, the glory of the Britifh toaft. 80 
 
 f A loin. Ki~i.
 
 tilISCEI,LANI£3. fj^ 
 
 APPLEPIEf. 
 
 Or all the dellcates which Britons try- 
 To pleafe the palate or delight the eye, 
 Of all the fev'ral kinds of fumptuous fare, 
 There is none that can with Applcpie compare 
 For coftly flavour or fubftantial paile, 5 
 
 For outward beauty or for inward tafte. 
 
 When firft this infant difh in fafhion came 
 Th' ingredients were but coarfe and rude the frame; 
 As yet unpolifti'd in the modern arts 
 Our fathers ate brown bread inftead of tarts ; XO 
 
 Pies were but indigefted lumps of dough 
 Till time and juft expenfe improv'd them fo. 
 
 King Cole (as ancient Britifh annals tell) 
 Renown'd for fiddling and for eating well. 
 Pippins in honiely cakes with honey flew'd ; 15 
 
 *' Juft as he bak'd," the proverb fays, " he brew'd." 
 Their greater art fucceeding princes fhow'd, 
 And modell'd pafte into a neater mode ; 
 Invention now grew lively, palate nice. 
 And fugar pointed out the way to fpice. 20 
 
 But here for ages unimprov'd we ftopd, 
 And Applepie was ftill but homely food, 
 
 t This poem hath been claimed as Mr, Welfted's in The 
 WeekiyOracleAugufti6th I7 35,witharemarkthat" Dr.King 
 *' theCivilian,a gentleman of no mean reputation in the world 
 " of letters, let it pafs fome years without coiltradidion as ht5 
 " own." It is in Dr. King's manner.
 
 t^Q MiSCELLANlESi 
 
 When godlike Edgar of the Saxon line, 
 Polite of tafte and fludious to refine, 
 In the defr:;rt perfuming Quinces caft, 25 
 
 And perfeiled with cream the rich repad ; 
 Hence we proceed the outward parts to trim. 
 With crin]:umcranks adorn the polifti'd brim. 
 And er.cii frefh Pie the pleas'd fpe6tator greets 
 Wiih virgin fancies and with new conceits. 3a 
 
 Dear Nelly ! learn with care the paftry art, 
 And mind the eafy precepts I impart : 
 Draw out your dough elaborately thin, 
 And ccafe not to fatigue your rollingpin: 
 Of eggs and butter fee you mix enough, ^^ 
 
 For then the pafle will fwell into a puff, 
 Which will in crumpling founds your pralfe report. 
 And eat, as houfuwivcs fpeak, exceeding fhort. 
 Rnr.g'd in thick order let your Quinces lie, 
 They give a cliarming reiifii to the Pie. 40 
 
 If you are wife you '11 not brown fugar flight, 
 Tlie browner (if I form my judgment right) 
 A deep vermilion tindture will difpenfe» 
 And make your Pippin redder than the Quince. 
 
 When this is doue there will be wanting flill 45 
 The juil rcferve of cloves and candy'd peel ; 
 Nor can I blame you if a drop you take 
 Of orangewatcr for perfuming fake. 
 But here the nicety of art is fuch 
 There mufl not be too little nor too mych : 50
 
 MISCELLANXE?, J4I 
 
 Jf With difcretion you thefe cofls employ 
 They quicken appetite, if not they cloy. 
 
 Next in your mind this maxim firmly root, 
 f ' Never o'ercharge your Pie with coftly fruit," 
 Oft' let your bodkin thro' the lid be fent ^^ 
 
 To give the kind imprifon'd treafure vent, 
 Left the fermenting liquor, clofely preft, 
 Infcnfibly by conflant fretting wafte, 
 And o'erinform your tenement of pafte. 
 
 To chufe your baker think and think again, 6o 
 (You '11 fcarce one honeft baker find in ten : ) 
 Adufl: and bruls'd I 've often feen a Pie 
 In rich difguife and coftly ruin lie, 
 While penfive crufl beheld its form o'erthrown, 
 Exhaufted Apples grie v'd their moiflure flown , 65 
 And fir up from the fides ran trickling down. 
 
 O be not, be not tempted, lovely Nell! 
 While the hot-piping odours ftrongly fmell, 
 While the delicious fume creates a guft, 
 To lick the o'erflowing juice or bite the cruft. 70 
 You '11 rather (lay (if my advice may rule) 
 Until the hot is correded by the cool; 
 Till you 've infus'd the lufcious (lore of cream. 
 And chang'd the purple for a filver (Iream ; 
 Till that fmooth viand its mild force produce, 75 
 And give a foftnefs to the tarter juice. 
 '' Then (halt thou pleas'd the noble fabrick view, 
 And have a dice into the bargain tooj 
 
 } 
 
 1
 
 T4ft MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Hononr and fame alike we will partake. 
 
 So well I '11 eat what you fo richly make. SO 
 
 UPON A GIANT'S ANGLING. 
 
 ITiis Angle-rod made of a fturdy oak. 
 
 His Line a cable which in ftorms ne'er broke, 
 
 His Hook he baited with a dragon's tail, 
 
 And fat upon a rock and bobb'd for whale. 4 
 
 UPON THE 
 
 DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH'S 
 
 HOUSE AT WOODSTOCK. 
 
 Atria Inline palcnt; fed nee ccenaiitihus uTquin, 
 
 Ncc roiniio locus eft ; quam bene non habites >. MART. Epig. 
 
 o E E , Sir, fee here is the grand approach ; 
 
 This way is for his Grace's coach : 
 
 There lies the bridge, and here is the clock; 
 
 Obfcrve the lion and the cock, 
 
 The fpacious court, the colonade, 5 
 
 And mark how wide the hall is made. 
 
 The chimaics are fo well defign'd 
 
 They never fmokc in any wind. 
 
 This gallVy is contriv'd for walking, 
 
 The windows to retire and calk in ; 10 
 
 The council chamber for debate. 
 
 And all the reft are rooms of ftate.
 
 MISCELLANIES. 143^ 
 
 Thanks, Sir, cry'd I ; it is very fine ; 
 But where d' ye lleep, or where d' ye dine ? 
 I iind by all you have been telling 
 That it is a houfe but not a dwelling. 1 6 
 
 A CASE OF CONSCIENCE. 
 
 Old Paddy Scot, with none of the bed faces. 
 
 Had a moft knotty pate at folving cafes; 
 
 In any point could tell you to a hair 
 
 When was a grain of honefty to fpare. 
 
 Tt happen'd after pray' rs one certain night 5 
 
 At home he had occaiion for a light 
 
 To turn Socinus, Lefiius, Efcobar, 
 
 Pam'd Govarruvlas, and the great Navarre; 
 
 And therefore as he from the chapel came 
 
 Extinguifhing a yellow taper's flame, • 10' 
 
 By which juft now he had devoutly pray'd. 
 
 The ufeful remnant to his flee ve con vey'd. 
 
 There happen'd a phyfician to be by 
 
 Who thither came but only as a fpy 
 
 To find out others' faults, but let alone 15 
 
 Repentance for die crimes that were his own. 
 
 This dodor foliow'd Paddy ; faid " He lack'd 
 *' To know what made ^ facrilegious fact." ' 
 
 Paddy with-ftudious gravity replies,- 
 *' That is as the place or as the matter lies. ao 
 
 *' If from a place unfacred you fiiould take 
 *' A facred things this iacriiege would make 5
 
 1:44^ ' MISCELLANIES. 
 
 ** Or an unfacred thing from facred place, 
 
 *' There would be nothing diff 'rent in the cafe; 
 
 *' But if both thing and place fhould facred be 2$ 
 
 •' 'Twere height of facrilege, as dodors all agree." 
 
 *' Then," fays the Dodor, " for more light in thi», 
 *' To put a fpecial cafe were not amifs. 
 ** Suppofe a man fhould take a Common Pray'r 
 *' Out of a chapel where there is feme to fpare?" 30 
 
 " A CommonPray'r!" fays Paddy; "that would be 
 " A facrilcge of an intenfe degree." 
 
 " Suppofe that one fhould in thefe holydays 
 *' Take thence a bunch of rofemary or bays V* 
 
 " 1 'd not be too cenforious in that cafe, 3S 
 
 " But 't would be facrilege flill from the place." 
 
 '* What if a man fhould from the chapel take 
 *' A taper's end? Ihould he a fcruple make, 
 *• If homeward to his chambers he fhould go, 
 *' Whether it were theft or facrilege or no ?" 40 
 
 The fly infkiuation was perceiv'd : 
 Says Paddy, " Dodor, you may be deceir'd 
 •* Unlefs in cafes you diltinguifh right ; 
 *' But this may he refolv'd at the firit fight. 
 •• As to the taper it could be no theft, 45 
 
 *' For it had done its duty and was left; 
 •' And facrilege in having it is none, 
 ** Becaufe that in my fleeve I now have one." 48
 
 1 
 
 MISCELLANIES. ^45 
 
 LITTLE MOUTHS. 
 
 From Londdli Paul the carrier coming down 
 To Wantage meets a beauty of the Town : 
 't'hey both accoflwith falutation pretty, 
 As, " How doft, Paul ?" — *' Thank you ; and how 
 
 "doft, Betty r" 
 *' Didft fee our Jack nor fifler ? No ; you 've feen 5 
 *' I warrant none but thofe who faw the queen." 
 
 *'Many\vordsfpokeinjefl,"faysPaul, "are true 
 *' I came from "Windfor * ; and if fome folks knew 
 *' As much as I it might be well for you." 
 ** Lord, Paul! what is it ?" — *' Why, give mefome- 
 '* thing for 't; lo 
 
 *' This kifs, and this. The matter then is fliort : 
 *' The Parliament have made a proclamation, 
 ** Which will this week be fent all round the nation, 
 *' That maids with Little Mouths do all prepare -j 
 **'On Sunday next to come before the Mayor, I j > 
 '• And that all bachelors be like wife there ; J 
 
 *' For maids with Little Mouths fhall if they pleafe 
 ** From out of thefe young men chufe two apiece," 
 
 Betty with bridled chin extends her face, • 
 A^d then contrads her lips with fimp'ring grace; ^6 
 Cries " Hem ! pray what muft all the huge ones do 
 *' For hufbands when we Little Mouths have twof" 
 
 * WTiere Queen Anne atid her court rrequently refided.
 
 146 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 " Hold, not fo faft," cries he: "pray pardon me j 
 " Maids with huge gaping wide mouths mud have 
 three." 
 
 Betty diftortsherface withhideousfquall, aj"! 
 And mouth of a foot wide begins to bawl, > 
 
 *' Oh ho ! is it fo ? The cafe is altcr'd, Paul. J 
 
 ** lath^tthe poi^t.^I wilh thejthrce were ten ; 
 ** I warrant I find Mouth if they '11 find men." 7<) 
 
 HOLD FAST BELOW. 
 
 i HERE was a lad, th' unluckieft of hiscrcw, 
 Was flili contriving fonicthing bad but new : 
 His comrades all obedience to him paid 
 In executing what defigns he laid : 
 ' I'was they fliould rob the orchard he 'd retire ; 5 
 His foot was fafe whilft theirs was in the fire. 
 He kept them in the dark to that degree 
 None fhould prcfume to be fo wife as he; 
 l^utbcin^ at the top of all affairs , 
 'f'he profit was his own, the mifchief theirs. 10 
 
 'there fellfome words made him begin to doubt 
 The rogue? would grow fo v.ife to fmd him out : 
 He w^s not pleas'd with this,, and fo next day 
 He cries to them, as going jufl to^pliiy, [ . . .,•.•; 
 *' What -a rare jackdaw's neft is there ! look up, 15 
 *' You fee itisalmofl at theileepk'stop." 
 " Ah,!"f^ys'another, "-we caw have no hope 
 *' Ci"^ct,tingthithcr.tD it.witboutniQpc'* , , ,, 
 i^ays then thp fleering fpr.rk, with courtcoys gJ'iu; 
 13y which he drew hi^ infant cullies in, 20
 
 ^ I 
 
 MISCELLANIES. I47 
 
 ^' 'Nothing more eafy ! did you never fee 
 
 " How in a fwarm bees hanging bee by bee 
 
 " Make a long fort of rope below the tree 
 
 *' Why may n't we do the fame, good Mr. John ? 
 
 *' For that contrivance pray let me alone. ~ 25 
 
 ♦' Tom fhall hold Will, you Will, and I 'II hold you, 
 
 *' And then I warrant you the thing will do': 
 
 '* But if there is any does not care to try, 
 
 " Let us have no jackdaws, and what care I !" 
 
 That touch'd the quick, and fo they foon comply'd;"^ 
 No argument like that was e'er deny'd, 3 i ^ 
 
 And therefore inftantly the thing was try'd. \ 
 
 They hanging down on ftrength above depend, 
 Then to himfelf mutters their trufty friend ; 
 " The dogs are almoft ufelefs grown to me ; 35 
 
 ** I ne'er fhall have fuch opportunity 
 " To part with them, and fo e'en let them go. 
 Then cries aloud, *' So ho ! my Lads ! fo ho ! 
 *' You 're gone unlefs ye all Hold Faft Below. 
 *' They 'veferv'dmyturn,foitisfit time to drop 'em: 
 *' The devil if he wants them let liim flop 'em." 41 
 
 JUST AS YOU PLEASE, 
 
 OR, THE INCURIOUS. 
 
 A VIRTUOSO had a mind to fee 
 
 One that would never difcontented be, 
 
 But in a carelefs Way to all agree. 
 
 Nij
 
 liffht. J 
 
 148 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 He had a fervatit much of -ffifop's kind, 
 
 Of perfonage uncouth but fprightly mind. 
 
 •* Humpus," fays he, *' I order that you find 
 
 *' Out.fuch a man, with fuch a charader 
 
 ** As in this paper now I give you here, 
 
 ** Or I will lug your ears or crack your pate, 
 
 *' Or rather you (hall meet with a worfe fate, 
 
 *' For I will break your back and fet you ftraight 
 
 *' Bring him to dinner." Humpus foon withdrew. 
 
 Was fafe as having fuch a one in view 
 
 At Covent Garden Dial, whom he found 
 
 Sitting with thoughtlefs air and look profound, I J 
 
 ^^'ho folitary gaping without care 
 
 Seem'dto fay, " Who is it f wilt go anywhere?" 
 
 Says Humpus, " Sir, my mafterbad me pray 
 *' Your company to dine with him to-day." 
 He fnuiFs, then follows. Up the flairs he goes, 20 
 Never pulls off his hat nor cleans his fhoes, 
 But looking round him faw a handfome room. 
 And did not much repent that he was come. 
 Clofe to the fire he draws an elbowchair, 
 And lolling eafy doth for llecp prepare. as 
 
 In comes thjR family, but he fits ftill, 
 Thinks, " Let them take the other chairs that will.** 
 
 The mafter thus accofls him : ** Sir, you 're wet, 
 *' Pray have a culhion underneath your feet." 
 Thinks he, " If I do fpoil it need I care i 30 
 
 '♦ I fee he has eleven more to fparc.'"
 
 ] 
 
 ItflSCELLANlES. I49 
 
 Dinner is brought up ; the wife is bid retreat, 
 And at the upper end mufi; be his feat. 
 ** This is not very ufual," thinks the clown ; 
 ** But is not all the family his own ? 3S 
 
 *' And why fliould I for contradidion's fake 
 *' Lofe a good dinner which he bids me take ? 
 ** If from his table flie difcarded be 
 " What need I care ? there is the more for me. 
 
 After a while the daughter is bid to ftand, 40 
 And bring him whatfoever he '11 command. 
 I'hinks he, " The better from the fairer hand !" 
 
 Young mafter next mufl rife to fill him wine. 
 And flarve himfelf to fee the booby dine. 
 He does. The father alks, " What have you there ? 
 ** How dare you give a ilranger vinegar j"' 46 
 
 ** Sir, it was Champaigne I gave him."- -*' Sir, indeed! 
 *' Take him and fcourge him till the rafcal bleed; 
 ** Do n't fpare him for his tears or age : I '11 try 
 ** If cat o' nine tails can excufe a lie." 50 
 
 Thinks the clown, " That it was wine I do believe, 
 ** But fuch young rogues are apteft to deceive : 
 ♦' He is none of mine, but his own fiefh and blood, 
 "And how know I but itmay be forhis good ?" 
 
 When the delTert came on, and jellies brought, ^^ 
 Then was the difmal fcene of finding fault : 
 They were fuch hideous, filthy, pois'nous, ftufT, 
 Could not b"e rail'd at nor reveng'd enough. 
 
 Niij' ■•
 
 IJQ MlSCELtANlES. 
 
 Humpus was a&'d who made them ? Trembling he 
 Said, '• Sir, it was my lady gave them me."»— 6o 
 " No more fuch poifon fhall fhe ever give ; 
 ** I '11 burn the witch; it 'en't fitting fhe fhouldlivc. 
 ** Set faggots in the court ; I '11 make her fry; 
 *' And pray, good Sir ! may it pleafe you to be by ?" 
 Then, fmiling, fays the clown, " Upon my life 6s 
 •' A pretty fancy this to burn one's wife! 
 •* And fince I find it is really your defign, 
 '* Praylctme juflflep home and fetch you mine." 68 
 
 ULYSSES AND TIRESIAS. 
 
 ULYSSES. 
 
 1 ELL me, old Prophet, tell me how 
 Eftatc when funk and pocket low, 
 Whatfubtle arts, what fecret ways. 
 May the defponding fortune raife ? 
 You laugh : thus mifery is fcorn'd. $ 
 
 TIRES. Sure it is enough you are retum'd 
 Home by your wit, and view again 
 Your farm of Ithac and wife Pen. 
 
 uLYss. Sage Friend ! whofe word is a law to mc. 
 My want and nakednefs you fee. 10 
 
 The fparks who made my wife fuch offers 
 Have left me nothing in my coifers ; 
 They 've kill'd my oxen, Iheep, and geefc. 
 Eat up my bacon and my cheefe.
 
 MISCELLANIES. I5f 
 
 Lineage and virtue at this pufh 15 
 
 Without the gelt is not worth a rufii. 
 
 TIRES. Why, not to mince the matter more, 
 You are averfe to being poor, 
 Therefore find out fome rich old cuff 
 That never thinks he has enough. 30 
 
 Have you a fwan, a turkey pie, 
 With woodcocks, thither let them fly; 
 The firft fruits of your early fpring 
 Not to the gods but to him bring. 
 Tho' he a foundling baftard be, ftjf 
 
 Convidl of frequent perjury. 
 His hands with brother's blood imbru'd. 
 By juftice for that crime purfu'd, 
 Never the wall when alk'd refufe. 
 Nor lofe your friend to fave your flioes. 3d 
 
 uLvss. 'Twixt Damas and the kennel go ! 
 Which is the filthieft of the two ? 
 Before Troy town it was not fo : 
 There with the beft I us'd to llrive. 
 
 TIRES. Why, by that means you '11 never thrive. 
 
 u L Y s s . It w ill be very hard, that is ti ue ; 
 Yet I '11 my gen'rous mind fubdue. 3 7 
 
 THAME AND ISIS. 
 
 bo the god Thame, as thro' fome pond he glides,. 
 Into the arms of wand'ring His Hides ; 
 
 3^
 
 Ijl MISCELLANIES. 
 
 I lis (Irength, lier foftnefs, in one bed combine, 
 And both with bands inextricable join : 4 
 
 Now no cerulean nymph or fca god knows 
 \^'here Ifis or where Thame dillindtly fiows, 
 But with a lafting charm they blend their ftreani, 
 Producing one imperial Rivei^ — Thame. 8 
 
 NERO, A SATIRE- 
 
 VV E know liow ruin once did reign 
 When Rome was fir'd and Senate llain : 
 The prince with brother's gore imbru'd 
 His tender mother's life purfu'd; 
 How he the carcafs as it lay 5 
 
 Did without tear or blufli lurvCy, 
 And cenfure each majeftick orace 
 That llill adorn'd that breathlefs face ; 
 Yet he with fword could domineer 
 Where dawning- light does fir ft appear 10 
 
 Trom rays of Phttbus ; and command 
 I'hro' his whole courfc, ev'n to that flrand 
 Where he abhorring fuch a fight 
 Sinks in the wat'ry gloom of night ; 
 Yet he could death and ten our throw I5 
 
 Y'here Thulc uarvcs in northern fnuw, 
 V\'l}ere fouthcrn heats do fiercely pafs 
 O'er burning finds that mtk tcgiiif:-. 
 6
 
 MISCELLANIES, fjj 
 
 Fond hopes! could height of pow'r alfuage 
 The mad excefs of Nero's rage ? ao 
 
 Hard is the fate when fuhjed:s find 
 The fword unjufl to poifon joln'd ! 2S 
 
 INDIAN ODE, 
 
 DARCO. 
 
 Ci^sAR, polTefs'd of Egypt's queen. 
 
 And conq'ror of her charms. 
 
 Would envy had he Darco feen 
 
 When lock'd in Zabra's arms. 4 
 
 ZABRA. Should Memnonthat fam'd blackrevive, 
 Aurora's darling fon. 
 For Zabra's heart in vain he 'd ftrive, 
 Where Darco reigns alone. $ 
 
 D ARco, Frefh mulberries new prefs'd difclofc 
 A blood of purple hue, 
 And Zabra's hps like crimfon rofe 
 Swell with a fragrant dew. X2 
 
 ZABRA, The am'rous Sun has kifs'd his face, 
 And now thofe beams are fet. 
 A lovely night aflumes the place 
 And tinges all with jet. l6 
 
 DARCO. Darknefs is myftick prieft to Love, 
 And does its rites conceal : 
 O'erfpread with clouds fuch joys wc '11 prove 
 As Day fliall ne'er reveal. 2&
 
 154 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 ZABRA. In gloom of night when Darco's eyes 
 Are guides what heart can ftray ? 
 Whoever views his teeth defcries 
 The bright and Milky Way. 34 
 
 DARCo. Tho' born to rule fierce Libya's fands 
 That with gold's li;flre (bine, . 
 ^^'ith eafe I quit thofe high commands 
 Whilft Zabra thus is mine. 28 
 
 ZABRA. Should I to that,blefl world repair 
 Where whites no portion have, 
 I 'd foon if Darco were not there 
 Fjy back and be a flave. ■ ^ 3Z 
 
 ADVICE TO HORACE 
 
 TO TAKE HIS LEAVE OF TRINIT. COL. CAMBRIDGE. 
 
 tloRACE, you now have long enough 
 
 At Cambridge play'd the fool. 
 
 Take back your criticifing fluff 
 
 To Ej^icurus' fchool. 4 
 
 But in excufe of this you '11 fay 
 
 You 're fo unwieldy grown . 
 
 'I'hat if amongfl that herd you lay 
 
 You fcarcely Ihouid be known. 8
 
 MISCELLANIES, IJJ 
 
 How many butter'd crufta you 've toll 
 
 Into your weem fo big, 
 
 That you 're more like (at College coll) 
 
 A porpoife thauapig. , Ij, 
 
 But you from head to foot are brawn, 
 
 And fo from fide to fide : 
 
 You meafure (were a circle drawn) 
 
 No longer than you 're wide. x6 
 
 Then blefs me ! Sir, how many craggs 
 
 You 've drunk of potent ale ! 
 
 No wonder if the belly fwaggs 
 
 That is rival to a whale. 20 
 
 Ji'en let the Fellows take the reft. 
 
 They *ve had a jolly taller; 
 
 But no great likelihood to feaft 
 
 ■Twixt Horace and the mailer ! ^a
 
 JJ.6 .MISCELLANIES. 
 
 OF DREAMS. 
 
 For a Dream comcth thro the multitude of bufiiiefs." 
 
 ECCLES. V. 4. 
 Somnia, qua ludunt mente volitaritibus umbris, 
 Non delubra deurn nee ab sthere numina mittunt, 
 Sed fibi cuifque facit," (sTc. I'ETRONTUS. 
 
 1 HE flitting Dreams that play before the wind 
 Are not by Hcav'n for prophecies defign'd, 
 Mor by ethereal beings fent us down, 
 But each man is creator of his own; 4 
 
 For when their weary limbs are funk in eafe ,^ 
 
 The fouls effay to wander where they pleafe, ' . 
 ^he fcatter'd images have fpace to play, 
 And night repeats the labours of the day. 8 
 
 / ivaled fpeaiing thffe out of a Dream in the Morning, 
 
 In ATURE a thoufand ways complains, 
 
 Athoufand words cxprefs her pains. 
 
 But for her laughter has but three, 
 
 And very fmall ones, Ha ! ha ! he ! 4 
 
 TO THK 
 
 DUKE OF BEAUFORT. 
 
 A Parapbrafd onNaudaui sAddrefi to Cardinal deBagni* , 
 
 I UK time will come (if Fate fhall pleafe to give 
 
 rhis feeble thread of mine more fpace to live) 
 
 * Dr. King dedicated his Erglith verfion of tb-^t work to t'le 
 ■Juke of >T?.riboroiigh.
 
 } 
 
 MISCELLANIES. 15? 
 
 When 1 fliall you and all your acls rehearfe 
 
 In a much loftier and more fluent verfe : 
 
 To Ganges' banks and China farther eaft, 
 
 To Carolina and the diftant weft, 
 
 Your name fliall fly, and ev'ry where be bled ; 
 
 Thro' Spain and tracks of Libyan fands fliall go 
 
 To RulTian limits and to Zembla's fnow : 
 
 Then lb all my eager Mufe expand her wing, lo 
 
 Your love of juilice and your goodnefs fing, 
 
 Your greatnefs equal to the ftate you hold, 
 
 In counfel wife, in execution bold; 
 
 How there appears in all that you difpenfe 
 
 Beauty, good nature, and the ilrength of fenfe. 15 
 
 Thefe let the world admire. — From you a fmile 
 
 Is more thr.n a xeward of all my toil. 17 
 
 VERSES 
 
 FOUND IN 1 HE author's POCKET. 
 
 1 SING the various chances of the world. 
 
 Thro' which men are by Fate or Fortune hurl'd. 
 
 'Tis by no fchcme or method that I go, 
 
 But paint in verfe my notions as they flaw ; 4 
 
 With heat the wanton images purfue, 
 
 Fond of the old, yet flill creating new ; 
 
 Fancy myfelf in fome fecure retreat, 
 
 Jilefolve to be content, and fo be great. 8 
 
 Volume 11. O
 
 EPISTLES, 
 
 TO THE RIGHT HON. 
 
 THE LATE EARL OF-^ *, 
 
 Upoti his dlfpuiing publkkly at Chrijl Church , Oxford. 
 
 JViusE ! to thy mafter's lodgings quickly flv. 
 
 Entrance to thee his goodnefs won't deny; 
 
 With due fiibmiflion tell him you are mine, 
 
 And that you trouble him with this defign, 
 
 Exadly to inform his noble youth 5 
 
 Of what you heard jull now from vanquifl'.'d Truth : 
 
 " Conquer'd, undone, 't is ftrange that there Ihould be 
 
 *' In this confefiion pleafnre ev'n to me. 
 
 *' With well wrought terms myhold Iftronglybarr'd, 
 
 *' And rough dillindlions were my furly guard. 10 
 
 •' Whilil 1 lure of my caufe this ftrength puffcfs 
 
 *' A noble youth, advancing with addrefs, 
 
 *' Led glitt'ring Falfehood on with fo much art 
 
 *' That I foon felt fad omen? in my heart. 14 
 
 " Words with that gr?.ce," faid I, "mull needs per- 
 
 *' I find myfelf inlenfibly betray'd. [fuade j 
 
 *' Whilfl he purfues his c.onqucfl I retreat, 
 
 *' And by that name would palliate my defeat. 
 
 *' But here methinks I do the profped fee 
 «" Of ail thofe triumphs he prepares for me; 20 
 
 * Probably James the third Earl of Arglcfea.
 
 EPISTLEJ. 15^ 
 
 ^' When Virtue or when Innocence oppred 
 
 *' Fly for fi^re re/uge to his gen'rous breaft, 
 
 *' When with a noble mien hisyojith appears, 
 
 *' And gentle voice perfuades the lifl'ning peei*s, 
 
 *' Judges Ihall wonder when he clears the laws, 2^ 
 
 *' Difpelling mifls which long have hid their eauf^i ; 
 
 ** Then by his aid, aid that can never fail, 
 
 *' Ev'n I tho' conquer'd now ihall fure prevail ; 
 
 ** Thoufands of wreaths to me he Ihall repay 
 
 " For that one laurel Frrcur wears to-day." 30 
 
 TO MR. CARTER, 
 
 STEWARD TO THE LORD CARTERET. 
 
 Accept of health from one who writing this 
 Wifhes you in the fame that now he is : 
 Tho' to your pcrfon he may be unknown 
 His wifhes are as hearty as your own ; 
 For Carter's drink when in his matter's hand 5 
 
 Has pleafure and good nature at command. 
 What tho' his lordlhip's lauds are in your truft? 
 'Tis greater to his brewing to be jull : 
 As to that matter no one can find fault 
 If. you fupply him ftill with well dry'd malt. ' I© 
 Still be a Icrvant conllant to afford 
 A liquor fitting for your gen'rous lord; 
 Liquor like him, from feeds cf worth in light 
 With fparkllng atoms flill afccnding bright. 
 
 Oij
 
 i60 EPIE-TLE5. 
 
 May your accounts fo with your lord ftand clear, J5 
 And have your reputation like your beerJ 
 The main perfedtion of your life purfue; 
 In March, Q»51ober, ev'ry monrh, flill brev,"-. 
 And ;^et the charaftcr of Who but von ? 
 
 J 
 
 EPISTLE TO MR. GODDARD, 
 
 WRI n EN BY DR. KING 
 hi the Charwfitr of The Reviciu. 
 1 p Windfor Canon, his wellchofen friend^ 
 The juft Review docs kindcft greeting fend. 
 I 've fcr.nd the man by Nature's gift defign'd 
 To pleafe my car and captivate my mind. 
 By fympathy the eager paffions move, 5 
 
 And flrike my foul with wonder and with love ! 
 Happy that place where much lefs care is had 
 To fave the virtuous than protedl the bad. 
 Where paftors mufl their Rubborn flock obey,' 
 Or that be thought a fcandal' which they fay ; 10 
 I'or fliould a fin by fonie grand foulbelov'd 
 Chance with an awkward zeal to be reprov'd, 
 And tender confcience meet the fatal curfe 
 Of hard'ning by reproof and growing worfe. 
 When things to fuch extremities are brought 15 
 ' ris not the finner's but the teacher's fault. 
 With great men's wickednefs then reft content, 
 And give them their own leifure to repent, [them, 
 Whiift their own headftrong will alone muft curb 
 And nothing; vex or venture to dif^urb them, ao
 
 } 
 
 EPISTLES. X6j 
 
 Left they fliould lofe their favour in the Court, 
 
 And no one but themfelvesbc forry for 't. 
 
 Were I in panegyrick vers'd hke you 
 
 I 'd bring whole oft'rings to your merit due. 
 
 You 've gain'd tiae conqueil, and I freely own 2$ 
 
 DilTenters may by churchmen be outdone. 
 
 Tho"' once we feemMto he at fuch a diftance, 
 
 Yet both concentre in divine refiilance ; 
 
 Both teach what kings muft do when fubjccils fight. 
 
 And both difclaim hereditary right. 
 
 By Jove's command two eagles took their flight 
 
 One from the eait, the fource of infant light, 
 
 The other from the weft, that bed of night: 
 
 The birds of Thunder both at Delphi meet. 
 
 The centre of the world, and Wifdom's feat : 2S 
 
 So by a pow'x not decent here to name 
 
 To one fixt point our various notions came; 
 
 Your thoughts from Oxford and from Windfor flew, 
 
 WhililShopandMeetiiig-houfebroughtforthReview: 
 
 Your brains fierce elotjuence and logick try'd, 40 
 
 My humbler ftrain choice focks and ftockings cry'd j 
 
 Yet in our common principles we meet, 
 
 You finking from the head, I rifing from the feet. 
 
 Pardon a hafty Mufe, ambitious growm 
 T' extol a merit far beyond his own ; 45 
 
 For tho' a mod'rate painter cann't command 
 The ftroke of Titian's or of Raphacrs hand. 
 Yet their tranfccndent works his faiicy raile, . . , . 
 And ther c is fomc &ill in knowing wha^ to praifc; 49
 
 tOz EFisTLrrs". 
 
 AD AMICUM. 
 
 X RiMus ab Angliacis, Carolinae Tyntus * in oras, 
 
 Palladias artes fecum, Cytharamque fonantem 
 
 Attulit ; aft illi comitcs ParnaiUdo una 
 
 Adveniuntj autorque viae confultus Apollo : 
 
 Ille ideiTT fparfos longc latC'3iie colonos 5 
 
 Legibus in catussquis, atqiie oppida cogit; 
 
 Hinc hominum molliri animos, hinc mercibus optis 
 
 Crefcere divitias et furgere teda deorum. 
 
 Talibusaufpiciis dojBs; conduntur Athene, 
 
 Sic byrfa ingentem Didonis crevil in urbem 10 
 
 Carthago rcguni domitrix; fic aurea Roma 
 
 Orbe triumpliato nitidum caput intuiit aftris. is 
 
 ATTEMPTED IN ENGLISH. 
 
 1 YNTE was the man who frrft from Britilli IhorL' 
 
 Palladian arts to Carolina bore ; 
 
 His tuneful harp attending Mafes fining, 
 
 And Phflcbus' fkill infpir'd the lays he fung ; 
 
 Strong tow'rs and palaces their rife began,' 
 
 And lifl'ning ftoncs to facred fabricksran ; 6 
 
 Juft laws were taught and curious arts of peace, 
 
 And trade's brilk current flow'd with wealth's in- 
 
 ©■n fuch foundations learned Athens rofe, [creafo. 
 
 5o Dido-'s thong did Carthage firft enclofe, 
 
 So Rome was taught old empires to fubdue, 
 
 As Tynte creates and g-overns now the new. 12 
 
 • * Mgjor.^Jynr^, Governor of Carolina.
 
 rpisTtES, i6j 
 
 A GENTLEMAN TO HIS WIFE. 
 
 sV HEN your kind wilhes firft I fought 
 '^Twas in the dawn of youth ; 
 I toafted you, for you I fought, 
 But never thought of truth. 4 
 
 You faw how ftill my fire increas'd, 
 I griev'd to be deny'd; 
 You faid, " Till I to wander ceasM 
 " You 'd guard your heart with pride." 8 
 
 I that once fcign'd too many lies 
 In height of paffion fwore 
 By you and other deifies 
 That I would range no more. li 
 
 I 've fworn, and therefore now am Sx'd, 
 No longer falfe and vain ; 
 My painon is \Vith honour mix'd, 
 And both fiiall ever reign. 16 
 
 A LETTER 
 
 Sent by sir john suckling from France, 
 Deploring his fad EJiate and Flight ; ivith a Difcovery of 
 
 the Plot and Corfpiracy intended Ly him and his Adherents 
 
 againfl England. 
 VTo, doleful Sheet! to ev'ry ftreet 
 Of London round about-a, 
 And tell 'tm all thy rnafter's fall 
 That lived bravely mcuglit-a, 4 
 
 4
 
 164 EPISTLES. 
 
 Sir John in fight as brave a wight 
 As the knight of the Sun-a, 
 Is forc'dto go away with wo, 
 And from his country run-a, 8 
 
 Unhappy ftars to breed fuch jars, 
 That England's chief Sucldin-a 
 Should prove of late the fcorn of Fate 
 And Fortune's unlucklin-a. 14 
 
 But ye may fee inconftancy 
 In all things under heav'n-a. 
 When god withdraws his gracious laws 
 We run at fix and fev'n-a. 1 6 
 
 Alas, alas! how things do pafs! 
 What boots a handfome face-a, 
 A pretty wit, and legs to it. 
 Not feafon'd well with grace-a ? 20 
 
 I that in court have made fuch fport 
 As never yet was found-a, 
 And tickled all both great and fmall 
 The maids of honour round-a : 24 
 
 I that did play both night and day 
 And revell'd here and there-a. 
 Had change of fults, made lays tb lutes, 
 And blufier'd ev'ry where -a : aS 
 
 I that could write and well endite 
 As 't Is to ladies knoAvn-a, 
 And bore the praife for fongs and plays 
 Far more than were mine own-a ; ^i
 
 EPISTLES. t6$ 
 
 t that dill knd and yearly fpend 
 Thoufands out of my purfc-a, 
 And gave the king, a wondrous thing ! 
 At once a hundred horfe-a, 36 
 
 Bleft providence that kq)t my fenfe 
 So -vvell, chat I fond elf-a 
 Should chance to hit to have the wit 
 To keep one for myfelf-a. 40 
 
 I tliat marth'd forth into the North, 
 And went up hills amain-a 
 With fword and lance like king of France, 
 And fo came down again-a : 44 
 
 I that have done fuch things the fun 
 And moon did never fee-a, 
 Yet now poor John, a pox upon 
 The Fates, is fain to fiee-'s. 48 
 
 And for the brave ( us'd to have 
 In all I wore or ate-a, 
 Accurfed Chance to fpoil the dance, 
 I fcarce have clothes or meat-a. 5X 
 
 Could not the plot by which I got 
 Such credit in the play-a, 
 Aglaura bright, that Perfian wight, 
 ]Viy roving fancy ilay-a ? j6 
 
 But I mull fly at things fo high. 
 Above me not allow'd-a, 
 And I Sir John like Ixion 
 For Juno kifs a cloud-a, 6^
 
 l66 EPISTLES. 
 
 Would I had bui-nM it when I turn'd It 
 Cut of a comedy-a; 
 There was an omen in the nomen 
 I fear of Tragedy-a ; 64. 
 
 Which is at laft upon me call, 
 And I proclaim'd a fot-a, 
 For thinking to with Engliili do 
 As with a Perfian plot-a. 68 
 
 But now I find with grief of mind 
 What will not me avail-a, 
 That plots in jefl are ever beft 
 When plotb in earned fail-a. JZ 
 
 Why could not 1 in time efpy 
 My crrour ? hut what is worfe-a, 
 Unhappy vermine niuft bring in jermin 
 The Mafter of the Horfe-a. 76 
 
 The valiant Percy, god have mercy 
 Upon his noble foul-a ! 
 Tho' he be wife by my advice 
 Was in the plot mofl foul-a. 80 
 
 The vi'itty poet, (let all know it) 
 D' Avenant by name-a, 
 In this defi^n that I call rplne 
 luttcrly difclaim-a. 84 
 
 Tho' he can WTite he cannot fight 
 And bravely take a fort-a, 
 Nor can he fmell a project well. 
 His nofe it is too faort-a. 88
 
 EPISTLES. 167 
 
 'Tis true we met in council fet. 
 And plotted here in profe-a, 
 And what he wanted it is granted 
 A bridge made of his nofe-a. c^ft 
 
 But to impart it to his art 
 We had made pretty (luft-a : 
 No, for the plot that we had got 
 One poet was enough- a ; 96 
 
 Which had not Fate and prying State 
 Crufii'd in the very womh-a, 
 Wc had e'er long by power ftrong 
 Made England but one tomb-a. ica 
 
 Oh what a fright had bred that fight 
 When Ireland, Scotland, France-a, 
 Within the wall of London all 
 In fev'ral troops fhould prance-a ! I04 
 
 Wiien men quartcr'd, women flaughter'd, 
 In heaps every where-a 
 So thick fhould die the enemy 
 The very fight foould fcarc-a; ic8 
 
 That they afraid of what they made, 
 A ftream of blood fo high-a, 
 For fafecy fled, fliould mount the dead, 
 And unto heav'n get nigh-a. Ii^ 
 
 The fcarlet gov/n and bed i' th' Town 
 Each other would bewail a, 
 That their fhut purfe had brought this curfe 
 
 lil-a. 1X6
 
 l68 EPISTLES. 
 
 Each alderman in his own chain 
 Being hang'd up hke a dog-a. 
 And all the City without pity 
 Made but one bloody bog-a. I2« 
 
 The Irifli kern in battle flern 
 For all their faults fo foul-a. 
 Pride, ufe, ill-gain, and want of brain, 
 Teaching them how to howl-a. 1 24 
 
 No longer then the fine women 
 The Scots would praiic and truft-a, 
 The wanton danits being burnt in flames 
 Far hotter than their luft-a : 12? 
 
 But too too late lament their fate, 
 And mifery deplore- a, 
 By the French knocks have got a pox 
 Worfe than they had before-a. 1 32 
 
 Infants unborn Ihould 'fcape the horn 
 By being murder'd then -a, 
 Which they were furc if life endure 
 To have when they were nien-a. 13^ 
 
 The precifc fry that now mounts high 
 Full low we call their lot-a. 
 And all that think it fin to drink 
 We doom'd unto the pot~a. I40 
 
 The Parliament is fully bent 
 To root up bilhops clean-a ; 
 To raife their fort and fpoil their fpcrt 
 We did intend and mean-a. 144
 
 EPISTLES. 169 
 
 With many things confufion brings 
 To kingdoms in an hour-a, 
 To burn up tillage, fack and pillage, 
 And handfome maids defiour-a. I48 
 
 But Argus' eye didfoon efpy 
 What we fo much did trull -a, 
 And to our fhame and lofs of fame 
 Our plot laid in the duft-a. 15 a 
 
 And had we ftaid I am afraid 
 That their Briarean hand-a 
 Had flruck us dead, (who now are fled) 
 Andfeized all ourland-a. Ij6 
 
 But thanks to Heav'n three of the fev'n 
 • That were the plotters chief-a 
 Have led to France their wits a dance 
 To find out a relief-a. 160 
 
 But D' Avenant * ihakes and buttons makes 
 A"< ilrongly with his breech-a 
 As he ere long did with his tongue 
 Make many a bombaft fpeech-a. 1 64 
 
 But yet we hope he '11 'fcape the rope 
 That now him fo doth fright-a, 
 The Parliament being content 
 That he his id£t lliould wrice-a. 168 
 
 * Sir William D' Avenant the dramatick poet, and author 
 Qf Gondihert, (jfc. 
 
 T^ol,:r;!e II. P
 
 SONGS. 
 
 SONG. 
 
 1 ou fay you love ; repeat agairi^ 
 Repeat th' amazing found ; 
 Repeat the eafe of all my pain. 
 The cure of ev'ry wound. 4 
 
 What you to thoufands have deny'd 
 
 To me you freely give ; 
 
 Whilfl I in humble filencc dy'd 
 
 your mercy bids me live. $ 
 
 So upon Latmos' top each night 
 
 Endymion fighing lay, 
 
 Caz'd on the moon's tranfcendent light, 
 
 Dtfpair'd and durll not pray. IZ 
 
 But divine Cynthia faw his grief 
 
 Th' effedt of conq'nng charms; 
 
 Unalk'd the goadefs brings relief, 
 
 ^nd falls into his arms. 1 6
 
 171 
 
 SONG. TO C^LIA. 
 
 The cruel Cajli.i loves and burns 
 
 In flames fhe cannot hide ; 
 
 Make her, dear Thyrfis! cold returns, 
 
 Treat her with fcorn and pride. ^ 
 
 You know the captives flie has made 
 
 The torment of her chain ; 
 
 Let her, let her, be once betray'd. 
 
 Or rack her with difdain. % 
 
 See tears flow from her piercing eyes ; 
 
 She bends her knee divine : 
 
 Her tears for Damon's fake defpife; 
 
 Let her kneel flill for mine. 13 
 
 Purfue thy conqueft, charming Youth ! 
 Htr haughty beauty vex, 
 
 Tilltrembhng virgins learn this truth 
 
 Men caiu-cvenge their fex. 1 6 
 
 Pij
 
 EPIGRAMS. 
 
 EPIGRAM. 
 
 W no could believe that a fine needle's fmart 
 Should from a finger pierce a virgin's heart. 
 That from an orifice fo very fmall 
 The fpirits and the vital blood (hould fall ? 
 Strephon and Phaon, I '11 be judg'd by you 
 If more than this has not been fouiid too true. 
 From fmailer darts much greater wounds arife 
 When fliot by Cynthia's or by Laura's eyes. 
 
 EPIGRAM. 
 
 Sam Wills had view'd Kate Bets, a fmiling lafs, 
 And for her pretty mouth admir'd her face : 
 Kate had lik'd Sam for nofe of Roman fize. 
 Not minding his complexion or his eyes. 
 They met — Says Sam, " Alas! to fay the truth 
 '* I find myfelf deceiv'd by that fmall month." 
 *' Alas!" cries Kate, " could any one fuppofe 
 *' I could be fo deceiv'd by fuch a nofe? 
 *' But I henceforth fhall hold this maxim jnft, 
 *' To have experience firft, and then to truft."
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 RUFINUS, 
 
 OR, THE FAVOURITE ♦. 
 
 IltllTATED FROM CLAUDIAN. 
 
 Oft' as I wond'ring ftand afecret doubt 
 Puzzles my I'tPifon and difturbs my thought. 
 Whether this lower world by chance does moi'e, 
 Or guided by the guardian hand of Jove. 
 
 When I furvey the world's harmonious frame, J 
 How Nature lives immutably the fame, 
 How Hated bounds and ambient Ihores re{lra:in 
 The rolling furges of the briny main, 
 How confrant Time revolves the circling year, 
 How day and night alternately appear, 10 
 
 Then am I well convinc'd fome Secret Soul, 
 Some Firfl Informing Pow'r, diredls the whole, 
 Some Great Intelligence, who turns the fpheres, 
 Who rules the fleady motion of the ftars, 
 Who deckswithborrow'd light the waning moon, 15 
 And fills with native light th' unchanging fun, 
 
 ♦ The efiay to which this poem was originally annexed was 
 written in 17 11, as a harfli f.»tire on the Buke of Marlbo- 
 rough, didated perhaps rather l>y party rage tiian truth. It 
 is printed in Dr. King's Works, vyl. II, p. ^3o. 
 
 Piij
 
 174 IMITATIONS. 
 
 Who hangs the earth amidil furrounding fkies, 
 And bids her various fruits in various feafons rife. 
 
 But foon as I refiedt on human fiate, 
 How blind, how unproportion'd, is our fate, 20 
 
 How ill men crown'd with bleflings fmoothly pafs 
 A golden circle of delightful days, 
 How good men bear the rugged paths df life, 
 Condemn'd to endlefs cares, to endlcfs ilrife, 
 Then am I lofl again ; religion fails; 45 
 
 Then Epicurus' bolder fcheme prevails, 
 Which thro' the void makes wand'ring atoms dance, 
 And calls the medley world the work of Chance, 
 Which God's eternal providence denies, 
 And feigns him nodding in the difiant fkies. 30 
 
 At length Rufinus' fate my doubt removes. 
 And God's exiftcnce and hisjuftice proves: 
 Nor do I longer undeccivM complain 
 The wicked flourifh and triumpliant reign, 
 Since they to fortune's heights are rais'd alone 25 
 To rufh with greater ruin headlong down. 
 
 But here infirudl: thy bard, Pierian dame ! 
 Whence and of whom the dire contagion came. 
 
 Aledo's bread with rage and envy glows 
 To fee the world poffcfs'd of fweet repofe ; 40 
 
 Down to the dreary realms below Ihe bends. 
 There fummons a cabal of filler fiends ; 
 Thither unnumber'd plagues dired their flight, 
 The curfed progeny of Hell and Night,
 
 ath: 
 orn; 1 
 Durn; > 
 r, 5lS 
 
 IMITATION'S. 1/5 
 
 Flrfl, Dlfcora rears her head, the nurfe of Vv ar ; 45 
 NextFamine fiercely ftalks with haughty air; [breath, 
 Then Age fcarce drags her hmbs, fcarce draws her 
 But tott'ring on approaches neighb'nng Death : 
 Here grows Difeafe, with inbred tortures woi 
 There Envy fnarl;, and others' good does mourn : 
 There Sorrow fighs, her robe to tatters torn; 
 Fear fculks behind, and trembling hides lier face, 
 But Rafnnefs headlong thrufts her front of br-afs ; 
 Then Luxury, wealth's bane, profufely fhincs, 
 Whilil Wsnt attending in a cloud repines ; 35 
 
 A train of fleeplefs felf tormenting cares. 
 Daughters of meagre Avarice, appears *, 
 Who as around her wither'dneck they cling 
 Confefs the parent hag from whence they ipring : 
 Here ills of each malignant kind rcfort ; 60 
 
 A thoiifand mongers guard the dreadful court. 
 
 AmidO th' infernal crowd AleCto fcands. 
 And a deep filence awfully command?. 
 Then in tumultuous terms like chefe exprelT: 
 A paflion long had fwell'd within her breafl : 6$ 
 
 " Shall we fupine permit rhtfe peaceful days 
 *' So fmooth, fo gay, fo undilturb'd, to pafs f 
 " Shall pity meit, (ball clemency control, 
 ** A Fui '/'? fierce and unrelenting foul ? 
 
 * This ^s an inltance in which Dr. King in common with 
 fpme greatf r poets has facrificed grammar to (even a very 
 indiiierent} rhyme.
 
 tj6 IMITATIONS* 
 
 •* What do our Iron whips, our brands, avail, 70 
 
 •• What all the horrid implements of hell, 
 
 *' Since mighty Jove debars us of his Ikies, 
 
 " Since Theodofius too his earth denies ? 
 
 *• Such were the days, and fo their tenour ran, 
 
 *' When the firll happy Golden Age began : JS 
 
 *' Virtue and Concord with their heav'nly train, 
 
 •' With Piety and Faith, fecurcly reign ; 
 
 " Nay Jufbice in imperial pomp array'd 
 
 * ' Boldly explores this everlafting fhade ; 
 
 " Me fhe infiiking menaces and awes, 8d 
 
 *' Reform.^ the world, and vindicates her laws. 
 
 *' And fhall we then, negle«fled and forlorn, 
 
 *' From cv'ry region banifh'd, idly mourn ? 
 
 ** AlTert yourfelves, know what and whence you 
 
 are, 
 " Attempt fome glorious mifchief worth your 
 *' Involve the univerfe in endlefs war. [care, 
 
 •' Oh! that I could in Stygian vapours rife, 55/ 
 
 " Darken the fun, pollute the bahiiy Hcics, 
 *' Let loofe the rivers, deluge ev'ry plain, 
 ** Break down the barriers of the roaring main, 90 ] 
 •' Andfhatter Nature into Chaos once again !' 
 
 So rag'd the fiend, and tofs'd her vipers round, 
 Which hiffing pour'd their poifon on the ground. 
 A murmur thro' the jarring audience rung, 
 DifF'rent refolves from difF'rent reafons iprung. 95 
 So when the fury of the llorm is part, 
 When the rcugh v.'inds in fofter murmurs wafte, 
 
 :l
 
 IMITATIONS. 177 
 
 So founds, fo fiuduates, the troubled fea 
 As the expiring tcnipefl; ploughs its way. 
 
 Megara rifing then addrefs'd the throng, ico 
 To whom fcdition, tumult, rage, belong, 
 Whole food is entrails of the giiiltlefs dead, 
 Whofe drink is children's blood by parents (bed. 
 She fcorch'd Alcides with a frantick flame. 
 She broke che bow the favage world did tame ; 105 
 She nerv'd the arm, fhe flung the deadly dart, 
 When i\.thamas transfix'd Learjchus' heart ; 
 She prompted Agamemnon's monftrous wife 
 To take her injur'd lord's devoted life ; 
 She breath'd revenge and rage into the fon, 1 10 
 So did the mother's blood the fire's atone; 
 She blinded Gedipus with kindred charms, 
 Forc'd him inceft'ous to a mother's arms ; 
 She ftung Thyeftes, and his fury fed, 
 She taught him to pollute a daughter's bed. II5 
 Such was her dreadful fpeech : 
 
 *' Your fchemes not pra<5lical nor lawful are 
 "With Heav'n and Jove to wage unequal waf; 
 *' But if the peace of man you would invade, 
 ** If o'er the ravag'd earth deftrudlion fpread, 1 2© 
 *' Then &all Rufinus, fram'd for ev'ry ill, 
 *• With your own vengeance execute your will; 
 ** A prodigy from favage parents fprung, 
 *' Impetuous as atigrefs new with young.
 
 178 IMITATIONS. 
 
 *' Fierce as the Hydra, fickle as the flccd, 1 2$ 
 
 *' And keen as meagre Harpies for their food. 
 
 *' Soon as the infant drew the vital air 
 *' I firft receiv'd him to my nurfing care, 
 *' And often he, when tender yet and young, 
 *' Cry'd for the teat, and en my bofom hung, 13(3 
 *' Whilfl my hcrn'd fcrpents round his vifage play'd, 
 *' His features form'd, and there their venom Ihed,- 
 *' Whilft I infufing brcath'd into hih heart 
 " Deceit, and craft, and ev'ry hurtful art, 
 *' Taught him t' involve his foul in fecret clouds, 135 
 ♦' With falfe diffembling fmiles to veil his frauds. 
 
 " Not dying patriots' tortures can afluagc 
 *' His inborn cruelty, his native rage; 
 *' Not Tagus' yellow torrent can fuSice 
 *' His boundlefs and unfated avarice; I4« 
 
 *' Nor all the metal of Padolus' ftreams, 
 *' Nor Hermus, glitt'ring as the folar beams. 
 
 *' If you the ftratagem propos'd approve, 
 *' Let us to Court this bane of crowns remove; 
 *' There fliall he foon with his intriguing art 14^ 
 *' Guide uncontroll'd the willing prince's heart : 
 *' Not Numa's wifdom fhall thac heart defend 
 *' When the falfe Fav'riteads the faithful Friend." 
 
 Soon as fhe ended the furrounding crowd 
 With peals of joy the black defign applaud. Ij» 
 
 Now with an adamant her hair Ihe bound, 
 Witii a blue ferpent girt her veli around,
 
 IMITATIONS. 179 
 
 Then haftes to Phlegeton's impetuous flream, 
 Whofe pitchy waves are flakes of rolling flame, 154 
 There lights a torch, and fliraight witli wings dif-* 
 Shootsfwiftlythro' the dun Tartarean glade, [play'd. 
 
 A place on Gallia's utmoft verge there lies 
 Extended to the fea and fouthcrn Ikies, 
 Where once Ulyffes, as old fables tell, 
 Invok'd and rais'd th' inhabitants of hell, 1 60 
 
 Where oft' with daring eyes the trembling hind 
 Sees airy phantoms flcim before the wind, 
 Kence fprings the Fury into upper Ikies, 
 Infedling all the region as flie ilies; 
 She roars, and fhakes the atmofphere around, 165 
 And earth and fea rebellow to the found ; 
 Then flraight transform'd her fnakes to filvcr hairs. 
 And like an old deciepit fage appears; 
 Slowly Ibe creeps along with trembling gait, '' 
 Scarce can her languid limbs fuftain her weight: 170 
 At length arriving at Rufinus' cell, 
 Which from his monftrous birth (lie knew fo well, 
 She mildly thus hell's darling hope addrcfl, 
 Sooth'd his ambition and inflam'd his breaft : 
 
 *' Can floth diflblve Rufinus ? canft thou pafs 1 75 
 *' Thy fprightly youth in foft inglorious eafe f 
 *' Know that thy better fate, thy kinder fl;ar, 
 *' Does more exalted paths for thee prepare. 
 *' If thou an old man's counfel canft obey 1 79 
 
 *• The fubjed world fhall own thy fov'reign fvvay ;
 
 l80 IMITATIONS. 
 
 " For my enlighten'd foul, my confcious brcaft, 
 
 *' Of magick's fecret fcience, is poffeft. 
 
 *' Oft' have I forc'd with my (tick midnight fpells 
 
 •' Pale fpevftres from their fubterran can cells: 
 
 *' Old Hecate attends my powerful fang, 185 
 
 ** Pow'rful to hafttn fate or to prolong ; 
 
 *' Pow'rful the rooted ftubborn oak to move, 
 
 ** To flop the thunder burfting from above, 
 
 *' To make the rapid flood's defcending llream 
 
 *' Flow backward to the fountain whence it came. T90 
 
 *' Nor doubt my truth — behold with juft furprife 
 
 *' An effort of my art — a palace rife." 
 
 She faid, and lo ! a palace tow'ring feems 
 With Parian pillars and metallick beams : 
 Rufinus ravilh'd with the vaft delight 195 
 
 Gorges liis avarice and gluts his fight. 
 Such was his tranfport, fuch his fudden pride, 
 When Midas firft his golden wifh enjoy'd. 
 But ashis ftiff 'ning food to metal turn'd 
 He found his rafhncfs, and his ruin inourn'd. 200 
 
 " Be thou or man or god," Rufinus faul, 
 " 1 follow whcrtfoc'er thy diAates lead." 
 
 Then from his hut he flies, aflumes the Hate 
 propounded by the fiend, prepar'd by Fate. 
 Ambition foon began to lift her head, 20 =■ 
 
 Soaring (he mounts with reitltfs pinions fpread } 
 But Juillce confcious (buns the poifon'd air 
 Where only proftituted tools repair.
 
 IMITATIONS. Z8l 
 
 Where Stiiico and- virtue not avail, 
 
 Where royal favours (land expos'd to fale, 
 
 Where now Rufinus, fcandaloufly great, 2lo 
 
 Loads lab'ring nations with opprelTive weight. 
 
 Keeps the obl'equious world depending ftiii 
 
 On the proud didates of his lawlefs will. 
 
 Advances thofe whofe fierce and fad:ious zeal 215 
 
 Prompts ever to refill and to rebel, 
 
 But thofe impeaches who their prince commend. 
 
 Who dauntlefs dare his facred rights defend. 
 
 Expounds fmall riots into higheft crimes-, 
 
 Brands loyalty as treafon to the times 4 izo 
 
 An haughty minion, mad with empire grown, 
 
 Enflaves the fubjeils and infults th-e throne. 
 
 A thoufand difemboguing rivers pay 
 Their everlafling homage to the fea ; 224 
 
 The Nile, the Rhine, the Danube, and the Thames, 
 Pour conflant down their tributary flrcams ; 
 But yet the fea confelTes no increafe, •, 
 For all is fwallow'd in the deep abyfs. 
 
 In craving ftill Rufinus' foul remains, 229 
 
 Tho' fed with Ihow'rs of gold and floods of gains; 
 For he defpoils and ravages the land; 
 No ftate is free from his rapacious hand : 
 Treafures immenfe he hoards, ere<fts a tow'r 
 To lodge the plunder'd world's collect 
 Unmeafur'd ishisweakh, unbounded is nispc 
 
 Oh! whither wouldfl thou rove, miflaken Manf 
 Vain are thy hopes, thy accjuifiticns vain ; 
 
 VqIuki^: II. C^ 
 
 a tow'r 'i'Z7>'\ 
 ■led {lore : > 
 ishispow'r. J
 
 t8.^ imitations. 
 
 For now fuppofe thy avarice poffeft 
 
 Of all the fplendour of the glitt'ring Eaft, 
 
 Qf Croefus' mafs of wealth, of Cyrus' crown, 24a 
 
 t:!uppofe the ocean's treafure all thy own, 
 
 Still would thy Ibul repine, fliil alk for more, 
 
 "Unblefl with plenty, with abundance poor. 
 
 Fabriciusin himfflf. in virtu*;, great, 
 Difdain'd a monarch's bribe, defpis'd his ftate; 245 
 SerraiiUS as he gTac'd the Conful's chair 
 So could he guide the plough's laborious fhare ; 
 The fam'd, the warlike, Curii deign'd to dwell 
 In a poor lonely cot and humble cell : 
 Such a retreat to me is more glorious far 250 
 
 'J'han all thy pomp than all thy triumphs are. 
 Give me my folitary native home, 
 Take thou tliy rifing tow'r, thy lofty dome : 
 Tho' there thy furniture of radiant die 
 Abftracts and raviflies the curious eye, 2SS 
 
 Tho' each apartment, ev'ry fpacious roomi, 
 Shines with tiie glories of the Tyrian loom, 
 Yet here I view a more delightful fcene: 
 "Where Nature's frefhefl bloom and beauties reign, 
 "Where the warm zcphir's genial balmy wing 260 
 Playing difFufes an eternal fpring : 
 Tho* there thy lewd lafcivious limbs are laid 
 On a rich downy couch or golden bed. 
 Yet here extended on the flow'ry grafs 
 More free from care my guiltlefs hours 1 pafs; i6s
 
 IMITATIONS. 1S3 
 
 Tho' there thy fycophants, a fervile race ! 
 Cringe at thy levees and refound thy praiTe, 
 Yet here a murm'ring flream or warbling bird 
 To me does fvveeter harmony afford. 
 
 Nature on all the pow'r of bills beftovvs, 1 JO 
 
 Which from her bounteous fource perpetual flows, 
 E'j.t he alone with happinefs is hleft 
 Who knows to ufe it rightly when poiTeft; 
 A dodlrine if well poiz'd in Reafon's fcale 
 Nor luxury nor want would thus prevail, 275' 
 
 Nor would our fleets fo frequent plough the main, 
 Nor our embattled armies llrew the p?ain. 
 
 But oh ! Rufinus is to reafcn blind ; 
 A ftrange hydropick third inilames his mind: 
 No bribes his growing appetite can fate, 280 
 
 For new poffeflions new defires create. 
 No fenfe of (hame, no modefty, reilrains 
 Where avarice or where ambition reigns. 
 When with ftriA oaths his profer'd faith he binds 
 Falfe are his vows and treach'rous his deugns. 285 
 
 Now fhould a patriot rife, his pow'r oppofe, 
 Should he affert a finking nation's caufe, 
 He ftirs a vengeance nothing can control. 
 Such is the rancour of his haughty foul ; 
 Fell as a lionefs in Libya's plain 290 
 
 "When tortur'd with the jav'lin's pointed pain, 
 Or a fpurn'd ferpent as flie Ihoots along, 
 With lightning in her eyes and poilon in her tongue, 
 
 QJj
 
 384 IMITATIONS. 
 
 Nor will thofe families eras'd fufiice, 
 
 But provinces and cities he deftroys ; 295 
 
 Urg*d on with blind revenge and fettled hate 
 
 He labours the confufion of the ftatc, 
 
 Subverts the nation's oldeftablifh'd frame. 
 
 Explodes her laws and tramples on her fame. 
 
 If e'er in mercy he pretends to fave 300 
 
 A man purfu'd by failion from the grave. 
 Then he invents new punilhments, new pains. 
 Condemns to filence, and from truth reftrains * ; 
 7 hen racks and pillories, and bonds and bars. 
 Then ruin and impeachments, he prepares. 2^S 
 
 O dreadful mercy ! more than death fevcre ! 
 That doubly tortures whom it feems to fpare ! 
 
 All feem enflav'd, all bow to him alone, 
 Nor dare their hate their jufl; rcfentments own, 
 But inward grieve, their fighs and pangs confin'd. 
 Which with convulfive forrow tear the mind. 31! 
 Envy is mute — it is treafon to difclofe 
 The baneful fource of their eternal woes. 
 
 But Stilico's fuperiour foul appears 
 Unftiock'd, unmov'd, by bafe ignoble fears. 315 
 He is the polar ftar direds the ftate 
 When parties rage and publick tempefts beat; 
 He is the fafe retreat, the fweet repofe, 
 Can footh and calm aifiided Virtue's woes; 
 
 * Alluding to the fentcnce then recently pafTed on Dr. Sa- 
 <^hcveicU, for whom our Author was a profeffed advocate.
 
 IMITATIONS. 185 
 
 He is the folid, firm, unlhaken, force 320 
 
 That only knows to ftem th' invader's courfe. 
 So when a river fwell'd with winter's rains 
 The limits of its wonted fhore difdains, 
 Bridges, and ftones, and trees, in vain oppofe, 
 With unrefuled rage the torrent flows, ^2$ 
 
 But as it rolling meets a mighty rock 
 Whofe fix'd foundations can repel the ihockj 
 Elided furges roar in eddies round, 
 The rock unmov'd reverberates the found. 329 
 
 THE STUMELINGBLOCK, 
 
 FROM CLAUDIAN's RUFINUS *. 
 
 Twenty conundrums have of late 
 Eeen buzzing in my addle pate, 
 If earthly things are rul'd by Heav'n, 
 Or matters go at fix and fcv'n, 
 The coach without a coachman driv'n ? 
 A pilot at the helm to guide. 
 Or the fnip left to wind and tide ? 
 A great Firfl Caufe to be ador'd, 
 Or whether all is a lott'ry board ? 
 For when in viewing Nature's face 
 1 fpy fo regular a grace, 
 So jufl a fymmetry of features 
 From flern to ftem in all her creatures, 
 * See a ferious tranflation above. 
 
 Qjij 
 
 }
 
 l86 IMITAT10:C5. 
 
 When on tl^e boifl'rous fea I think 
 
 Kov/ It is coiifin'd like any fink, I5 
 
 How funimer, -winter, fpring, and fall. 
 
 Dance round in io exaft a hawl, 
 
 How like a chequer day and night 
 
 One is mark'd with black and one with white. 
 
 (>Moth I, I ken it well from hence 20 
 
 There is a Prefiding Influence 
 Which won't permit the rambling liars 
 To fall together by the ears, 
 Which orders flill the proper feafon 
 
 For hay and oats, and beans and peafen, 25 
 
 Which trims the fun with its own beams, 
 
 Whilfl the moon ticks for her's it feem§, 
 
 And, as afham'd of the difgrace, 
 
 TJnmaflcs but feldom all her face, 
 
 Which bounds the ocean within banks 30 
 
 To hinder all its madcap pranks, 
 
 "W^hich does the globe to an axle fit, 
 
 Like wheel to nave or joint to fpit. 
 But then again, how can it be 
 
 Whilft fuch vail tracks of earth we fee 
 
 O'errun by barb'rous tyranny ? 
 
 Vile fycopiiants in clover bltft 
 
 Whilfl: patriots with Duke Humphry feall, 
 
 Browbeaten, bully 'd, and opprtll ? 
 
 Pimps rais'd to honour, riches, rule, 40 
 
 Whilft he who feems to be a tool 
 
 Is the pricfl's knave, the placeman's feci I
 
 IMITATIONS. 187 
 
 This whimfical phenomenon 
 Confounding all ray pro and coh 
 Bamboozles the account again, 45 
 
 And draws me nolau volens in, 
 Like a prefs'd foldier to efpoufe 
 The fceptick's hypothetick caufe, 
 Who Kent will to a codling lay us 
 That Crofs-or-pile refin'd the Chaos, 50 
 
 That jovial atoms once did dance, 
 And form'd this merry orb by chance, 
 No art or feill were taken up, 
 But all fell out as round as hoop! 
 A vacuum is another maxim $$ 
 
 Where he brags experience backs him, 
 Defying that all fpace is full 
 From »nfide of a Tory's fcull : 
 As to a dv^ity, his tenet 
 
 •Swears by It there is nothing In it, 60 
 
 Elfe it is too bufy or too idle 
 With our poor bagatelles to meddle. 
 
 Anna is a curb to lawlefs Louis, 
 Which as illullrious as true is ; 
 Her vidories o'er defpotick right, 65 
 
 That paSive nonrefifting bite, 
 Have brought this myftery to light. 
 Have fairly made the riddle out. 
 And anfwer'd all the fqueamifa doubt, 
 Have clear'd the regency on high 7^ 
 
 From every prefumpt'ous why. 
 
 1
 
 iSS IMITATIONS. 
 
 No more I boggle as before, 
 But with full confidence adore, 
 Plain as nofe on face expounding 
 All this intricate dumb-founding, 75 
 
 Which to the meaneft conception is 
 As foUoweth hereunder, -viz. 
 " Tyrants mount but like a meteor, 
 *' To make their headlong fall the greater." 79 
 
 TO LAURA. 
 
 IN IMITATION OF TE FRARCH. 
 
 At fight of murder'd Pompey'shead 
 
 Csefar forgets his fex and flate. 
 
 And vvhilft his gcn'rous tears are Ihed 
 
 Wilhes he had at leaft a milller fate. 4 
 
 At Abfalom's untimely fall 
 
 David with grief his conquoft views, 
 
 Nay weeps for unrelenting Saul, 
 
 And in foft verfe the mournful theme purfues. 8 
 
 The rhightier Laura, from Love's darts fecure, 
 
 IBchoIdsthe thoufand deaths that I endure, 
 
 Each death made horrid with mod cruel pain, 
 
 Yet no frail pity in her looks appears, 
 
 Her eyes betray no carelefs tears, 
 
 But perfecute me ftiil with anger and difdain. 1 4
 
 IRANSLATIOi 
 
 NO. 
 
 AN INCOMTARABLE 
 
 ODE OF MALHERBE'S *, 
 
 Wrilten by him ivhen the Marriage ivas on foot beiiveen the 
 King of France f an J Anne of Anjlria. 
 
 Tranf ated by a great Admirer of the eafinefsof French Poetry, 
 
 Cette Annefi belle^ This Anna fo fair, 
 
 ^jfon 'vanteftfort^ So talk'd of by Fame, 
 
 Fourquoy ne itientelle? Why do n't flie appear ? 
 
 Vrayment elk a tort. 4 Indeed fhe 's to blame. 4 
 
 Son Louis foupire Lewis fighs for the fake 
 
 Apresfes appas. Of her charms, as the^fay 
 
 ^e -veut elle dire What excufc can fhe make 
 
 ^u^e elle ne vient pas ? 8 For not coming away \ 8 
 
 Si il ne lapojf-de If he does not poffefs 
 
 11 s\vi va mourir: He dies v.'ith defpair : 
 
 Donnons y reir^ede. Let 's give him redrefs, 
 
 Allans la querir. 12 And go find out the fair. la 
 
 * The tranflator propofed to turn this ode with all imagi- 
 nable exadnefs, and iie hopes he has beer pretty juft to Mal- 
 herbe ; only in the fixth line he has made a ftr.all edition of 
 thefe three words, as tbeyfay, which he thinks is excufable, if 
 we confider the French poet there talks a little too lamiliarly 
 of the kinjr's paflion, as if the king himfelf had owned it to him. 
 The tianllator thinks it more mannerly and refpedfulin iVlal- 
 herbe to pretend tohave the account of it only by hearfay. A'n:^- 
 
 t Lewis XIV.
 
 190 TRANSLATIONS. 
 
 TRANSLATION FROM TASSO. 
 
 CANTO III. ST. 3. 
 
 00 when bold mariners, whom hopes of ore 
 Have urg'd to feck fome unfrequented Ihore, 
 The fea grown high and pole unknown, do find 
 Hovv' falfe iscv'iy wave and treach'rous ev'ry wind, 4 
 If wlfli'dfor land fome happier fight defcries, 
 Diftant huzzas, fainting clamours, rife, 
 Each drives to fliew his mate th' approaching bay, 
 Forgets pafl danger and the tedious way. S 
 
 FROM HESIOD. 
 
 VV HEN Saturn reign'd in heav'n his fubjecls here 
 Array'd with godly virtues did appear; 
 Care, Pain, Old Age, and Grief, were banifli'd far, 
 With all the dread of laws and doubtful war ; 
 But cheerful friendfiiip, mix'd with innocence, 
 Feufted their underftanding and their fenfe ; 6 
 
 Nature abounded with unenvy'd flore, 
 Till their difcreeteft wits could aik no more; 
 And when by Fate they came to breathe their lafl 
 DiflblvM in flcep their flitting vicals paft. 
 Then to much happier manfions they remov'd, 
 There prai'^'d their Gnd, and were by him bclov'd. 12
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Page 
 
 MISCELLANIES. 
 
 
 Preface to The Fnimentary, 
 
 5 
 
 The Friimentary, in Three Cantos, 
 
 7—14 
 
 MuUy of Mountown, 
 
 ^S 
 
 Orpheus and Eurydice, 
 
 19 
 
 Britain's Palladium, 
 
 35 
 
 Preface to The Eagle and the Robin, 
 
 44 
 
 The Eagle and the^Rohin, 
 
 46 
 
 Robin Redbrealt, with the Beafts, 
 
 55 
 
 Bibliotheca, 
 
 61 
 
 The Latt Billet, 
 
 118 
 
 The Mad Tover, 
 
 ik. 
 
 The Soldier's Wedding, 
 
 119 
 
 The Old Cheefe, 
 
 121 
 
 The Skillet, 
 
 123 
 
 The Fifherman, 
 
 12 J 
 
 11-ie Conrtable, 
 
 127 
 
 The Beggar Woman, 
 
 128 
 
 The Veftry, 
 
 130 
 
 The Monarch, 
 
 13^ 
 
 The Garden Plot, 
 
 134 
 
 The Art of making Puddlngs» 
 
 ""H 
 
 Receipt to make SackpofTet, 
 
 138 
 
 Applepie, 
 
 139 
 
 Upon a Giant's angling. 
 
 142 
 
 Upon Marlborough ficufc at Woodllock, 
 
 il/. 
 
 A Gale of Confcience, 
 
 143 
 
 Little Mouths, 
 
 145 
 
 Hold Faft Below, 
 
 14^ 
 
 Juflasycu Pleafe, 
 
 147 
 
 Ulyffcs and Tirefias, 
 
 15a 
 
 ' Thame and Ifis, 
 
 lil
 
 19a CONTENTS. 
 
 'Page 
 
 Nero, a Satire, 15 a 
 
 Indian Ode, 153 
 
 Advice to Horace, 154 
 
 Of Dreams, I56 
 
 I waked Speaking, lifr. ib. 
 
 To the Duke of Beaufort, ib. 
 
 Verfcs found in the Author's Pocket, 15 7 
 
 EPISTLES. 
 
 To the late Earl of . 158 
 
 'J'o Mr. Carter, I59 
 
 To Mr. Goddaid, 160 
 
 Ad Amicum, l6z 
 
 The fame attempted in Englifli, ib. 
 
 A Gentleman to his Wife, 163 
 
 A Letter from France, ib. 
 
 SONGS. 
 
 Song, " You fay you love," Iffc. 170 
 
 Song. To Cxlia, 1 7 1 
 
 EPIGRAMS. 
 
 Epigram, " MHio could believe," life. ijz 
 
 Ditto, " Sam Wills," l^c ib. 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 Rulinus, or, The Favourite, from Claudian, 173 
 
 The Stumblingblock, from Rufinus, 1 85 
 
 To Laura, from Petrarch, loS 
 
 TRANSLATIONS. 
 
 An incomparable Ode of Malherbe's, 1 89 
 
 Ti-andation from Taflo, 1I90 
 
 Ditto from H^fjod, ib. 
 
 Fu-ni the APOLLO PRESS, 
 
 Uv thcMAl'/ilNS, 
 
 Oftr. 13. i;«i. 
 
 THE END.
 
 This book is DUE on the last 
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 MAY 11 1979
 
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