1^'::= \i*,\ J Digitized by tine Internet Arciiive in 2008 witii funding from IVIicrosoft Corporation littp://www.arcliive.org/details/exposofpologamOOstenricli to EXPOSi: OF POLYGAMY IN UTAH. A LADY'S LIFE . * > > ' . * *» '' AMONG THE MORMONS. A RECORD OF PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AS ONE OF THE WIVES OF A MORMON ELDER DURING A PERIOD OF MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS. DY Mrs. T. B. H. ^TENPIOUSE, OF SALT LAKE CITY. LLUSTRATED BY II. L. STEPHENS, Tw« SECOND EDITION. l^lY^t^^^ NEW-YORK CAN NEWS COMPANY, 119 NASSAU STREET. 1S72. / 0/X ALL KIGHT OP TRANSLATION RESERVED. ^f^/? Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 18T2, by Mk8. T. B. H. STENHOUSE, in the Ofllce of the Librarian of Congress, at Waahington. 8. W. GuEKf, Printer, 16 and 18 Jacob Street, New-York, *' Have ye not read, that He which, made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife : and they twain shall be one flesh ?" — Matthew 19 : 4-5. ** There shall not any man among you have save it be one wife ; and concubines he shall have none.^^ — Book of Mormon, p. 118. ** Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.''— Book OF Covenants, p. 124. TO THE READER. Is presenting this little volume to the public, I trust I may be excused if I give utterance to a few words by way of pre- face. This I think especially needful, as very probably what I have written will fall into the hands of many who are but imperfectly acquainted with Mormon doctrines and Mor- mon practice, and who would thus he at a loss to understand much of my story. It is only right that I should explain, among other things — what may appear strange to the reader — that is, the poverty and privations which we endured for so many years. It must be fully understood that this poverty was entirely voluntary. My husband and myself were both zea- lously devoted to the faith, and when called to missionary labour, we obeyed. We were not only willing to sacrifice cheerfully all the pleasures and comforts of life for the sake of our religion, but we did so, and rejoiced that we were counted worthy to suffer. Again, I must here state that, although I am necessarily com- pelled to speak of many circumstances of a personal nature, I have studiously avoided all mention of names or details which might reasonably give the least pain to any of my former friends and acquaintances. Even in the case of Brigham Young and his family, with whom I have been on terms of the most intimate acquaintance, although I felt myself at liberty to speak more freely of him as a public man, I have in no instance betrayed the confidence which any of his wives or members of his household h.ive placed in me. This statement I am assur- ed they will willingly confirm. The following pages are simply what they pretend to be : " What I know about Polygamy ;" and in order to set the whole matter plainly before the reader, I Rave given a brief ac- 6 TO THE READER. count of my own personal experience — what I myself felt, what I saw and knew. Every statement which I make, I can prove to be strictly correct ; and if I have erred in any thing, it has teen in not giving my subjects so high a colouring, or so sensa- tional a character, as perhaps they had in their reality. The women of Utah will bear me witness that every word which I have written is true, although perhaps only a weak picture of the facts as they occurred. I do not wish to apologize for any imperfections in what I have written, although perhaps I might, as a woman, claim a little consideration. This is the first time that I have appear- ed in print, and probably it will be the last. It had been fre- quently suggested to me that I should write a short history of my own life as a Mormon, but I never seriously entertained the idea. Only two or three weeks ago, not a single word was written, or a plan even outlined for a work of any kind. Very recent and unforeseen circumstances, although they found me, in every literary sense, unprepared for such an effort, led to a resolution that I would give to the world, and especially to my sisters in Utah, whose sympathy I feel assured I possess, an account of my own trials, which have been, and in many in- stances still are, their own. At the end of the volume I give an exact copy of the " Reve- lation," that any curiosity felt respecting it may be satisfied, and that my readers may see for themselves what the Mormon women are expected to believe and obey. The few " choice" extracts which follow it are taken from the writings and dis- courses of eminent modern Apostles. They will amply corro- borate every statement which I have made, and prove to the impartial mind that in no instance have I exaggerated or de- viated from the truth — ^but rather the reverse. I have told a plain story of fads ^ and have endeavoured to present a faith- ful picture of the terrible realities of Mormon Polygamy. Whether I have succeeded or not, let the reader determine. FANNY STENHOUSE. Salt Lake City, Utah. ^^YSE-lTTl o» CONTENTS Chapter I. — ,-..-. - _ TACK Early Life and Experience of the Authoress, . . 13 Chapter II. Seeking after Truth — First Acquaintance with Mormon- ism — Favourable Impressions — I become the Wife of a Mormon Elder, 16 Chapter III. My Husband leaves for Italy — Experiences as the Wife of a Missionary — Privations and Struggles with Poverty in England— Suspicions of Polygamy — "Privilege" of *' washing the Elders' Feet"— Cheering Words in Time of Trouble, 19 Chapter IV. Our Mission to Switzerland — Introducing Mormonism — Terrible Trials of Faith — Geneva — Days without Food — The new Convert — " The Labourer worthy of his Hire" — Timely Aid, 26 Chapter V. The " Revelation" on Polygamy — How I received it — Left without Hope — The Doctrine of " plural Marriage" first taught — " Beauties" of the System — My first Con- vert to Polygamy — A Scene — Trials — How Work pro- gressed — Disaster to Swiss Emigration, . . » 3S CONTENTS. Chapter VI. We return to England— How Polygamy was taught there — The Girls happy— The Wives miserable— General Ef- fects of the Doctrine — A Runaway Wife — How she acted in Haste and repented at Leisure — A Mother leaves her Babes — A Lady is " counselled " to emigrate with- out her Husband — Follies of certain Elders — Polygamic "Poetry"! 44 Chapter VIL Mormon Life in London — " Counselled" to go to Salt Lake Valley — Sickness and Annoyances — Doubts and Fears — Faith wavering — Loneliness in the great City— The " Dear American Brethren" — Preparations for leaving England, SS Chapter VI IL We emigrate to America — New York — The Mormon — An " Apostle," two " High-Priests," and a " Seventy," and what they did — Polygamy in New York — The Elders . from Utah choose other Wives — Plans disarranged — ^We set out for " Zion" — Three Months on the Plains — First Glimpse of " the City of the Saints," . . .62 Chapter IX. Life in Salt Lake City — Polygamy in Practice — The first Wife to be "destroyed" unless she consents — Deceptive Teaching about taking a second Wife— The Mormon Plan — " Labouring" with refractory Wives — Elderly Ladies assisting in Courtship — A first Wife's Trials — Anomalies of Polygamic Life, 68 Chapter X. Shocking Effects of Polygamy — Marrying a Half-Sister — A Mother and Daughter married to one Man — Marry- ing three Sisters on one Day ! — " Covenants of Mar- CONTENTS. 9 PAGB riage"— Influence of Elders— A deluded "Sister" and her Persecutor — Mistaken Ideas of Duty — Another " Sister" betrayed — Men unhappy in Polygamy, , 'j'j Chapter XI. Illustrations of practical Polygamy— A " Sister" in deep Affliction — A Husband's Cruelty — A sad End — Various and fearful Results of Polygamy — Broken Hearts and Lunacy — Men " Sparking" in the Ball- Room — Women sitting like Wallflowers! — Painful Memories — Intro- duced to five Wives at once — " Are these all you have got ?" — Matrimonial Felicities, . . . .85 Chapter XII. Going to the " Endowment House" — ^Wives cruel to other Wives — The Story of a young second Wife — How she came to marry — How she was treated — Neglect of the Husband — Cruelty of the first Wife — Goes to the " Bishop" — How young Girls in Polygamy value the Attentions of their Husbands — The Ways of Mormon Men, .94 Chapter XIII. Fears realized — Meeting an old Friend from Switzerland — The Vicissitudes of himself and Family — How he was "counselled" to take another Wife — Brigham sends for me — My young Charge — "Not feeHng well" — My Husband seeking a second Wife — A " painful " Task ! — Striving to submit — My attempts at Friendship with his Fiancee— "M-y Heart not quite subdued, . . .104 Chapter XIV, The Sacrifice of my Life — I give another Wife to my Hus- band — The Scene in the "Endowment House" — My Day of Trial— It was all over now — Bitter Miseries of Polygamy— Rebellious Thoughts — Retrospect of that Time— The first Wife not alone unhappy — Watchful 10 CONTENTS. PAGB E3'es — A ludicrous Picture — Want of Sympathy— Seek- ing another "Jewel" for his " Corwn" — Enlarging the "Kingdom" — "Stolen Waters"— Love- Letters read in Secret — Reading the " Revelation" a second Time, . 117 Chapter XV. Trouble with the Church — Implicit Obedience demanded — Confidence in the Church Authorities declining — Cling- ing to Faith — Attempting to suppress Doubts — How Inquiry was suggested — Brigham angry — "A Prophet might be mistaken" — Day dawning at last — " Obeying Counsel," and what it cost — An Article on "Pro- gress" — A Scene — We withdraw from the Church — A brutal and scandalous Outrage upon my Husband and myself— Strange Police ! — Without redress — Popular Anger — Private Sympathy, . . . . .129 Chapter XVI. Recent Conclusions on Polygamy — Faith in the Doctrine declining — How Women in Utah feel — False Notions and Statements — Sophistries about Want of Faith — Opi- nions of the young Girls — Better Chances now — Changes operating in Utah — Brigham becomes fashionable — He abandons his own Teachings — How a Man with two Wives cleverly escaped from Utah and Polygamy — Difficulties of Husbands when they leave the Mormon Faith — Effects of the Law of 1862 — Domestic Sympa- thies — Evil Effects of Example upon Boys, . .146 Chapter XVII. An interesting Courtship — Brigham Young seeks an- other Wife — Martha Brotherton tells her Story of the Wooing — Abstract of her History — Difficulties in creat- ing Faith in Polygamy — " Tricks that are Vain" — " Are you ready to take Counsel .''" — ^Joseph Smith's little Room — "Positively no Admittance" — Joseph comes in — He assists Brigham's Courtship — The Prophet a CONTENTS. 1 1 PACB " proxy" Lover—*' A few Questions" — " Lawful and Right"—" The best Man in the World but Me"—" I will have a Kiss anyhow" — " Don't you believe in me ?" — "If you accept Brigham, you shall be blessed" — " If he turns you off, I will take you on"—" Not exactly, sir," 154 Chapter XVIII. Marriage — The Age for Marrying — Seventy and Seven- teen — Women privileged to choose their own Husbands — Some Women make a Choice — Joseph's Widows — " Serving for seven Years" — Celestial Marriages — Bap- tism and Marriage for the Dead — Saving one's Ances- tors ad htjinitutn — Marrying for " Time and for Eter- nity" — The Register at Salt Lake, from which the World shall be judged — Difficulties of "proxy" Mar- riages — " Proxies" for the Empress Josephine and Napoleon I. — " The next best Thing" — Joseph's un- productive Polygamy — Divorce — Woman's solitary Pri- vilege — Divorce for ten Dollars! — Re-Marrying — Shocking instance of self-fulfilling a " Revelation" — Perverted Heroism — " Affinity" — Brother Hyde's Ar- gument — The Woman with seven Husbands — Statisti- cal Facts, 163 Chapter XIX. Domestic Life in Polygamy — Management of Families — Separate Homes— Half-a-dozen Wives under one Roof — Internal Arrangements — The "odd Day" for the first Wife — " Generosity" — How six Wives are visited — The Misery of poor Polygamists — The greater Misery in a wealthy House — "The Kingdom" — The Tale of the Doors and Windows — Fruitless good Intentions — Illustrative Instance of the Effects of Polygamy and Monogamy — An Economical Wife and her Object — Lost for Want of a little good Cooking — Wives in va- rious Places — Utilizing the Services of Wives — A Hus- 12 CONTENTS. PAGB band's Difficulties— Brigham Young— His " Homes"— Mrs. Young : Nineteen of her ! — Wives, and "proxy" Wives — The Bee-Hive House — The Lion House — Six other Houses — Domestic Relations — Brigham's Favourite— The Prophet in the Ball-Room — His Proscenium-Box at the Theatre — Delusion of Utah Women — Can this be from God ? . . . .182 Chapter XX. Gentiles in Utah — Mormon Women not allowed to mingle with them — Restrictions and Prejudices — Women and Men kept apart in the Tabernacle and in the Theatre — Keeps a Gentile Boarding-House— Times changed — Mormon Girls marrying Gentile Husbands — Why they prefer the Gentiles — Reasons of Jealousy — The Looks of the Mormon Women — False Notions— The Railway working Changes — An Appeal to Congress — The wisest Course to be adopted — To the Women of Utah, . . 198 APPENDIX. The "Revelation" of Joseph Smith on Polygamy, . . 207 ILLUSTRATIONS. His New Wife — The "Wallflowers," . . . 89 " i could tear you to pieces !" . . . . 41 " Labouring " with a Rebellious Wife, . . .73 Mother and Daughter Wives to the same Husband, "jy " Are these all you have got ?" . . . .92 Wife at Home— Husband Abroad, . . . 112 The Wealthy Polygamist, 183 Polygamy in Poverty, 185 Brigham Young at Home, 194 Ot X^5^ |Uir!7EE:iT WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. CHAPTER I. Early Life and Experience of the Authoress. I WAS once a Mormon woman, and for over twenty years I have lived among Mormons. Their faith was once mine as truly as any words can express ; their thoughts were the same as mine ; their hopes were my hopes ; their religious opinions were in sympathy with my own. But that was in the time past. It seems long past, and yet it was, as I may say, only a little while ago — a few months, which I might almost count upon my fingers. Yet now all this is changed, and I have learned to see matters in another light. When I first listened to the preaching of the Mor- mon elders, I endeavored to judge impartially of their doctrines. I thought t/ien that they were right. To rae, at the time^ they were right. But other views, which I now believe to be purer, better, and more truthful, have dawned upon my soul, and I can, I think, fairly say that I am a free woman — free from the bondage of superstition ; and as I write this, I feel the pleasure of the captive who shakes himself free from his chains. 14 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. It has been suggested to me that I should, from my own personal experience, write the story of a Mor- mon woman living in the midst of Mormonism. I shall endeavour, in the following pages, to do so impar- tially and truthfully. But I wish to tell my story as simply as I can. Others, who are but partially in- formed, may write critically of what they have seen or heard ; but I shall give a record of what I myself have known 2^\difelt. Whatever opinion the reader may form of my life, past or present, is to me of little moment, and to him it can not be of much consequence. Personally, I have no claims to the attention and consideration of the world, nor do I desire that it should be other- wise. But as no woman's experience in Utah, who has been associated with Mormonism and seen its polygamic life, could be very different from my own, the facts set forth in this little work will enable the reader to comprehend the operation of the order of " celestial marriage." To answer the inquiry, how any woman can sub- mit to the practice of polygamy, I must of necessity give a brief history of my early life. From what I shall there state, the reader will see how I was led on, little by little, from total ignorance of that doc- trine, to a firm faith that it was a revelation from God, necessary to salvation. . However strange what I relate may appear to those who are unacquainted with life in Utah, my story is but a shadow of the truth, although my expe- rience was, probably, the same as that of nine tenths of the Mormon women. WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 1 5 My first recollections of life were in St. Helier's, Jersey, one of the islands in the English Channel, where I was born. Through the preferences of my parents, my religious education and associations were with the Baptist denomination, my own disposition and feelings making this connection very agreeable, as I had, probably, for a girl of my age, a more than ordinary interest in religious observances. When fifteen years of age, I went to Brittany, in France, and entered into a Roman Catholic school as a teacher of English. While there, I had, of course, to conform to the rules of the school, and attend church with the pupils at all times when required to do so. Much as I respected the people with whom I was associated, for their kindness, I could not con- scientiously join with them in their devotions. I always took my Bible with me, and read it during the service ; and frequently in my loneliness and anxiety for some living religious truth, I would say, " Oh ! if there were only a prophet ministering noiv on earth, that I might go to him and ask, * What shall I do to be saved V and thus receive an answer which would satisfy the craving of my soul." I remained in France six years, and then I obtained two months' vacation, for the purpose of visiting my parents, who had now removed from the island of Jersey to Southampton, (England.) CHAPTER IT. Seeking the Truth — First Acquaintance with Mormonism — Favourable Impressions — I become the Wife of a Mormon Elder. On visiting my birthplace, in the summer of 1849, I went to the house of my brother-in-law, who was an " apostate" Mormon. During my stay in his house, he spoke to me about the Mormons in not very flattering terms. At the same time, he told me that my father, mother, and, in fact, all my family, had adopted that faith. As I knew my parents, particularly my mother, to be sincere and devoted Christians, I began to think that Mormonism must be something different from what he represented it to be, or they never would have accepted it. I there- fore determined to investigate this religion, for the purpose of exposing its errors to my parents, for whom I entertained the deepest affection. I attended my first Mormon meeting at St. Helier's, Jersey. With what I heard that afternoon I could find no fault, although I was very much prejudiced against the new religion. On arriving the following week at my father's home in Southampton, I began to observe very closely every thing that was said and done, to see if I could detect any change in the life of my parents and sisters. I could see no difference in my father and mother ; but I certainly saw a change in my sisters, who now forsook all amuse- ments suitable to their age, and thought of nothing WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. IJ but going to church and making clothing for the missionaries who were to be sent out " without purse or scrip." All this interested me very much ; and, at my sis- ters* request, I went one Sunday morning to their place of worship. The sermon that I then heard per- fectly fascinated me. It was delivered by an elo- quent and enthusiastic young Mormon " Elder," who felt, or thought he felt, that he was "a servant of God," sent to preach deliverance to the people. He said that " an angel of God had appeared to Joseph Smith, and had revealed to him the everlast- ing Gospel." " There were now," he said, " living apostles ordained by the angels, the same as in days of old." At first I thought, " This is indeed glorious news ; but can it be true r The reflection then came that what the Lord had done already He could certainly do again. We were urged to be "baptized for the remission of our sins," with the promise that " we should receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, to witness unto us that we had done what the Lord had com- manded." I knew that all this was according to Scripture, and I dared not reject it. Indeed, I had no desire to do so. I received it gladly.' It was life to my soul. It was that which I had been desiring for years ; and I firmly believed that the Lord, in His mercy, had answered my prayers. I concluded to be baptized ; and I had no sooner made up my mind to do so, than I wanted it done. Two weeks after my arrival in England, I became formally a fliember of the Mormon Church. 1 8 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. I felt that I had obeyed the commands of God, and was entitled to His blessing ; indeed, I felt that I was blessed, for my heart was full of joy and grati- tude. This the elders taught me was the Spirit of God. I now believe it was simply the answer of my conscience, which every sincere person enjoys in all religions. I had been taught, and I obeyed. I felt so happy and satisfied that I was in the right path that I could not make up my mind to return to France and the isolation which I felt there. I there- fore determined to resign my position, and make my home among the " Saints." A few months later, I was married to that same young Mormon Elder ; and then, in the joint prose- cution of our missionary labours, my troubles began. Some of my friends thought I was risking a great deal by becoming the wife of a man whose life was devoted to the Mormon ministry ; while others thought that I was highly honoured in getting a husband who held such a prominent position in the church. I was, however, satisfied, and willingly en- tered upon my new sphere as a missionary's wife, feeling sure that there were no obstacles so great that I could not overcome them. How little could I imagine theii the life that was before me ! CHAPTER III. My Husband leaves for Italy — Experiences as the Wife of a Mission- ary — Privations and Struggles with Poverty in England — Suspicions of Polygamy— The " Privilege" of " Washing the Elders' Feet"— Cheerful Words in Time of Trouble. I HAD been married about four months when my husband was called to go on a mission to Italy. What terrible news this was to me, for I was to be left behind ! In my grief I exclaimed, " Ah ! why could they not have selected some one else .-*" Then I remembered how that, in my first joy and gratitude after being baptized into the church, I had said that I would do any thing that the Lord required of me ; and now I felt that He was going to put me to the test. Thus it was that, when asked by one of the " Twelve Apostles" if I were willing that my husband should go, I answered " Yes," although even at the time I thought that my very heart would break. As Mormon elders receive no salary, nor any re- muneration whatever, my husband was very much troubled about leaving me dependent on others, not being sure how I might be provided for, and knowing better than I did what want I should probably be exposed to. At his request, an old and valued friend was appointed his successor ; Mr. S. believing that in doing so I should be provided for and watched over ! In June, 1850, Mr. S. went on his mission, in com- pany with Lorenzo Snow, one of the " Twelve Apos- 20 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. ties." Though terribly grieved at his departure, I felt some pride in the fact that my husband was the first of tlie elders in Britain who was sent on a foreign mission. For the first few weeks after his departure, my friends gathered around me and provided me with all that I needed. Before long, however, most of the " Saints" with whom I had been on intimate terms began to prepare for emigration to Utah. I soon saw that I should be obliged to break up my home, and be contented with one room. This I did cheer- fully ; for, after the great trial of separating from my husband for three years — as I then thought — this was comparatively nothing. I got but little assistance from the church, and the question which now presented itself to my mind most imperatively was, " What can I do r The reply, mentally returned, was, " Nothing !" I could only teach English. But to whom could I teach English in England ? Still, I was not altogether useless or helpless. I could sew very well ; but I had as yet no confidence in myself, never having done any thing of the kind before as a matter of business. I was in the greatest trouble. I had neither food nor fire. I could not venture to write to my husband about this, for fear of unfitting him for carrying out fully his mission, which I then believed would be a sin. I then resolved that I would go round and visit some of my lady acquaintances, who had frequently invited me to come to their houses. I wished, it possible, to see whether, through their influence and introduction, I could do any thing to earn a little WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 21 money. Besides which I had another reason : I thought that possibly some one would ask me to dine with them. I was hungry enough, but I walked about the city, afraid to carry out my resolution, until I was quite worn out ; for I feared in my pride that they might suspect that I came purposely for something to eat. Of this I was perfectly ashamed. No one who has not personally passed through such an ordeal can have any idea of what my feelings were. The shame I felt was only equalled by my necessi- ties, innocent as I was of any fault which could have placed me in this position. I was utterly miserable, and did not venture to call upon any one, but turned my steps toward my dreary home — only to fast and pray. The fasting, however, was not in my pro-' gramme at that time. I had no inclination for it, although I was utterly unable to prevent it. I then earnestly prayed to the Lord to help me, and at the same time I thanked Him that I was counted worthy to suffer for His sake. The time was fast approaching when I knew that I should be compelled to have fire and other necessa- ries ; but where to get them I knew not. One evening I was asked to dine at the house of a friend where some of the elders from Salt Lake were visiting, and I accepted the invitation with a great deal of pleasure, for more than one reason. It was thought a great privilege at that time to meet with American elders. Some of these gentlemen assumed such authority tiiat they impressed the " Saints" with the idea that they were little gods. IVe had not then seen them at home I 22 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. I went to dine with these brethren, and as it is a Mormon woman's " privilege" [?] to sit and " listen" to the " lords of creation," without joining in the con- versation at all, I had then, of course, that same privi- lege of listening while dinner was preparing. I can not tell the horror of what I then heard. They were talking among themselves about Polyga- my, but in such a covert way that it was evident that they thought I could not understand what was said. Neither should I have understood it had it not been that I had heard some whisperings of this kind once, before my husband went away, though then I did not believe it. I had asked him about the new doctrine, and he had reassured me by stating that there was " no truth in it ;" that it was a slander, promulgated by some evil-tongued people to injure " the cause." I heard, however, something that day which troubled me very much, and I resolved to ask these " brethren" now present to tell me the honest truth — whether Polygamy really existed in Utah, or did not. They positively denied its existence, and though I did believe then that what they said was true, I afterwards discovered much which troubled and wor- ried me, and being constantly anxious to learn the truth, there was not much that escaped my notice. I became wretchedly suspicious. At times, I even fancied that my husband had deceived me ; and that thought was to me madness. I said — whatever other men may do, my husband will not deceive me. O dear ! no. That I could not believe. I now felt more inclined for fasting than for pray- ing. In fact, just then it would have been utterly I J -A ^ WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMYwJyQ^^ ^^ impossible for me to pray, I was so wretched. Doubts and fears had begun to creep into my mind, and it appeared to me (if I may say so) that the Lord, like a hard task-master, was exacting from me more than I had bargained to do or suffer when I embraced Mormonism. These troubled thoughts were not calcu- lated to make me feel happy in my relations with the church, and I tried to overcome my feelings, and attain to a better state of mind, trusting sincerely in God that all would yet be well. But to return to my difficulty in earning a living. After some time I finally got a little plain sewing to do. This enabled me to win my daily bread and to pay the rent of my room, as well as to make a few scanty preparations for the little stranger which I now daily expected. The reader may suppose that it was, after all, a very hard struggle. Now began the arduous task of ^endeavouring to support myself and my babe. In this dear little one- there was to me another strong incentive to exertion. But how and where I was to get work, and what I was to do — and, in fact, what I could do — I did not know. There was nothing for me as far as I could see. I was willing to do any work, if only I could get it to do — that was now the difficulty. Yet I determined not to be foiled. I managed to live ; but how } Sometimes, for two weeks together, I had nothing but dry bread. I became pale and thin, and so weak that I could scarcely walk. I now became better acquainted with Mormonism, as I was able to go .more among the Saints. But I lost confidence in the missionary brethren when I 24 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. saw how familiarly they conducted themselves with the young " sisters ;" for I knew that the elders I allude to were married men. They taught the " sisters," both married and single, that it was their 'brivilege to wash the elders' feet, and to comb their hair, and in fact to wait on them in every way imaginable. This I mean literally. There was nothing symboli- cal about it, and many of our silly girls liked nothing better. I saw even then that this was not right, and it annoyed me greatly. With the President of the London Conference and his family I was well acquainted, and I knew that this man came down from London to the Southamp- ton Conference about every two or three weeks, to court a young "sister." He supplied her with money, and otherwise acted in a way which appeared to me almost scandalous. His conduct shook the faith of some of the older Saints. In these days the elders would take young girls to the theatres and other places of amusement, while their own wives remained at home. I sincerely believe now that many of these men taught Polygamy to the girls, while they denied it to the public. I felt lonely, wretched, and disappointed in my re- ligion, though I still believed it. Yet I dared not ask my husband to abandon his mission and come home. I resolved that I would try to endure to the end. Then, too, I knew that even at the worst he would return some time, and all my troubles, I felt, would then be ended ; for I believed that he would be able to explain all to me — yes, every thing. About this time I learned that Lorenzo Snow (the WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 2$ " Apostle" in whose company Mr. S. went to Italy) was on his way to England. This intelligence made me very happy, as may be supposed. I waited anx- iously to see him. On his arrival, he came directly to my house. He seemed very much shocked to see the change in my appearance, and said that he would send for my husband to come home immediately. CHAPTER IV. Our Mission to Switzeiland — Introducing Mormonism — ^Terrible Trials of Faith— Geneva— Days without Food— The new Convert— "The Labourer worthy of his Hire" — Timely Aid. After about a year's absence, Mr. S. returned to England, and we were invited to attend a conference of the Saints, which was to be held in London, in June, 185 1. During this conference, the "Apostle" Snow expressed his great indignation at the manner in which I had been neglected, and said that I should no longer remain in connexion with the Southampton Conference. It was decided that my husband should go on a mission to Switzerland ; that I should go with him, and that we should begin our missionary labours in Geneva. One great incentive to this re- solution was, that I could speak the French language fluently. It was, therefore, thought that I should be of great service in assisting Mr. S. with his work. I was ready to do any thing that might be required ot me, if only I could be with him. Mr. S. had once more silenced my fears about Poly- gamy, and I was again happy. We started on our journey — Mr. S., myself, and our dear little Clara, who was then only six months old. How much I loved that little child, no tongue can tell ! Had she not been my sole companion througl^ so many weary days and nights of sorrow ? WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 2/ On our arrival at Geneva, we commenced our mis- sionary labours immediately ; but we made very little progress, as Mr. S. was not much acquainted with the French language, and the Genevese do not readily receive strangers. We had but a small sum of money left when we reached our destination, and we econo- mized as much as we possibly could, hoping to make what we had last until some - one should join the church, who might be able to assist the mission. We had full faith and confidence that the Lord would raise up friends to aid us in the work. But time rolled on, and we had laboured faithfully for several months with apparently little success. My whole soul was in my mission, and I was re- solved to fulfil Tt, as far as human power, aided by the grace of God, could do so. I sought every opportu- nity of introducing among the ladies the Mormon faith ; and I tried in every way to live in such a manner as to be an example to those who might be converted and join the church, or who might be in- clined to do so. We kept " The Word of Wisdom" * strictly, and never took tea, coffee, wine, or warm drinks of any kind for years. ■ Mr. S. studied early and late to acquire a knowledge of the French language, hoping soon to be able to make some impression upon the people. One day he received a letter from an " infidel," who lived in a neighbouring canton, asking him to come and see him, in order that they might talk over Mor- monism, for he had heard of us and our doctrine. We ♦ A " Revelation" of Joseph Smith, which all good Mormons observed. 28 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. were very much pleased at this invitation, for if seemed now that the Lord was about to do something. Mr. S. accordingly went to see this man. He stayed with him several days, convinced him of the truth of the new faith, and, finally, baptized him. He then returned home. Our money was now nearly gone, and I was very weak from lack of proper nourishment, and dispirited by continual anxiety. I caught a severe cold, and was confined to my bed for a time. My courage at last entirely failed me. Weak and sick as I was, not a soul came to my room. In fact, who should come .'' I had no friend there. The very knowledge that we had come to set forth a strange and unpopular reli- gion, made every one avoid me. My husband was sad and very anxious. Nor need this excite wonder when it is considered that there was nothing to make life pleasant to either of us, ex- cept the thought that we were both the servants of God, and had dedicated our lives to His service. About a month after the return of Mr. S. from the house of the gentleman whom he had baptized, we received a letter from him. As it was opened, a piece of gold fell on the table. It afterward appeared that this new convert, although he " suspected it might be useful," did not like to offer money to Mr. S. But when he had gone, he determined to send a trifle, saying, at the same time, that " the labourer is worthy of his hire." Never was a Scripture phrase more truthful and welcome in its application. We were very grateful indeed for this timely help, small as it WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 29 was, for it seemed to us like a recognition of our work. How great are trifles to the hopeful mind ! There were dark clouds on every side, and in mo- ments of despondency we almost feared that they would never clear away. Yet in all this trouble, our faith remained unshaken ; and even in the darkest hour of trial, we felt happy in the belief in the divi- nity of Mormonism. With all our faith, one question was, perforce, ever uppermost in our minds, how to obtain the necessary means of subsistence } This was an unanswerable difficulty. With the very greatest economy, the time came at last when our money was all gone. We had not a coin, or any representative of money, and we had no reason to hope for any. We were in a strange country, among strangers, and in the depth of winter, without fire and without food. What was to be done ? In the anguish of my soul, I exclaimed, with bitter tears, '* Look down, O God ! in Thy mercy, upon my innocent little one, who is now suffering from cold and hunger, while we, her parents, are devoting our lives, our all, to Thy service." * In this trying hour we were speechless. We both felt our helplessness, but neither dared to speak to the other about that which weighed so heavily upon our hearts. It was only our belief in the divinity of our mission that sustained us. Incredible as it may appear, for nearly one week all that we had to exist upon was about a pint of corn flour or maize, and that was principally reserved for our child. Up to this time, but two persons had joined the church in Geneva. They were poor men, and their 30 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. wives were very much opposed to the step which they had taken in embracing Mormonism, and thus there was very little to expect from them. We were living in a furnished room, and my little daughter was a great favourite with the family in whose house we were. I was not sorry for this ; for in the time of our greatest distress, I used often quietly to open my door at their meal times, and the child would make her way to the dining-room, and get something to eat. Humiliating as this was to me, I felt satisfied for a while, at least, that she was not suffering from hunger as much as we ourselves were. At the end of that week, when it seemed that we could not exist another day without some nourish- ment, Mr. S. went to the house of one of the newly converted brethren, whom I have mentioned, with the intention of telling him of our peculiarly distress- ing circumstances ; but when he arrived there, he really had not courage to do so, and he returned again without saying any thing of the matter. My heart sank within me, for I entered into his thoughts, al- though he did not speak. My little one was then reposing in my arms. She had cried herself to sleep, hungry and cold. I could not say any thing to my husband when he came home ; for I felt instinctively that he had been unsuccessful, and I was almost choking with emotion, which I attempted to suppress. As we sat there silently in the twilight, neither of us venturing to speak to the other, I mentally prayed to the Lord, (if it was His will,) that rather than see my darling wake up again to hunger and suffering, she might WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 3! quietly sleep her sweet young life away. As I now write, the recollection of that time comes back so vividly that my eyes fill with tears. While sitting in this fearful gloom, which afterward seemed to me the most solemn hour of my life, I heard a step in the hall, and something whispered to me, " Help is coming." A moment after, the brother whom Mr. Stenhouse had called upon entered the room with some provisions, and he slipped a five-franc piece into my hand. Mr. S. had said nothing to him ; but after he had left the house, this brother said that from my husband's manner, he felt convinced that we were suffering, as he knew that as missionaries we had no means of subsistence, and that according to the usual custom among the Mormons, we had to preach " without purse or scrip." The assistance thus received was a relief from pre- sent want, but the future seemed like a dark cloud to hang over my path. I was now in worse circum- stances than I had been at the birth of my first child ; for I was among strangers, and had absolutely no- thing but what the few brethren were kind enough to bring to us from time to time. I again found, as I had previously experienced at many other periods of my life, the truth of the old verse : " Behind a frowning providence, God hides a smiling face." The " smiling face" this time took once more the form of the " Apostle" Snow. Oh ! how glad I was to see him. He had, as I have related, brought me joy and gladness once before when I was in great 32 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. trouble, and I almost looked upon him as my good genius. After all, I was not so very much mistaken ; for he gave me a little money to provide for our pre- sent necessities, and told Mr. Stenhouse that after a while he should return to England, and raise what- ever funds might be needful to enable us to carry out our mission ; for he plainly saw that, however endur- ing faith might be, no one could live without money. In fact, the American elders, as I afterward discov- ered, did not themselves try, under similar circum- stances, to work unaided, although they had no objec- tion to the British elders doing so. After the birth of my second child, we went to Lausanne, Canton de Vaud ; for Mr. Stenhouse thought it would be better for me to remain there during his absence in England, as he had, in addition to this " infidel," whom he had baptized, m^de the acquain- tance of a very good man of very excellent family. In this gentleman's house I engaged apartments, ex- pecting to pay for them, but he never permitted me to do so ; and from that day, I never suffered in Switzer- land from want of the necessaries of life. I lived very quietly and comfortably for three months, during the absence of Mr. S. in England. I had not much, it is true ; but then a very little sufficed for my wants. I had that, and I was satisfied and happy ; for this Mr. B. and his family were very kind indeed to me, and even now, as I review the past, I can say, with all truthfulness, that from the com- mencement of my missionary life — now over twenty years ago — till I left Mormonism, that brief period in Switzerland was the only happy time I ever knew. X"- rfV 17 B .. t ALIT ih^ ,.!fil ^f!\x,., ^^, >, .,. CHAPTER V. The " Revelation" on Polygamy — How I received it — Left without Hope — ^The Doctrine first taught — "Beauties" of the System — My first Convert to Polygamy — ^A Scene — How Work progressed — Dis- aster to Swiss emigration. Mr. S.^teturned from England, and, after a while, began in conversation to introduce — gently and enig- matically, I thought— the subject of Polygamy, at the same time telling me that he ''did not know'' that it was true, but that he had heard that there had been a revelation given about it. He dreaded to tell me the truth ; but I had heard enough, and determined not to accept the doctrine. Still, at times, I tried to hide my feelings from him ; for I hoped that, after all, the intelligence might even now not prove true. Vain hope ! for very soon the " revelation" was sent from " Zion," with instructions to make no secret of it. A printed copy of the " revelation" was given to me to read. I was just about to sit down to the breakfast-table. There were present a Protestant minister, whom Mr. S. had baptized, and two Mor- mon elders. The minister knew nothing of the " re- velation ;" but my husband and the two elders looked at me, to watch the effect produced upon my mind by its perusal, with an interest and solemnity as if they were breaking to me cautiously the news of my mothers death. 34 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. I immediately left the room and sought the retire- ment of my own apartment, where, after locking the door, I began to read the document ; but before I had got through one half I threw it aside, feeling al- together rebellious against God. I now began to feel perfectly reckless, and even willing to throw aside my religion, and take " my chance of salvation," ra- ther than submit to Polygamy ; for I felt that that new doctrine was a degradation to womankind. I asked myself, " Why did the Lord wish to humiliate my sex in this manner ?" though at the same time I believed, as I was told, that the " revelation" was in- deed sent from God. Perhaps if I had kept calm, and had I read it through very carefully and allowed my own judgment to be exercised upon it, I might have detected there and then that there was no di- vinity in it, as I afterwards discovered, to my satis- faction, when I read it a second time, after the lapse of many years. After some time I began to feel a little more calm, and was able to reason with myself about Polygamy. If, said I, this " revelation" is of God, (and of course it is,) then I ought not to oppose it. It never once entered my mind that any man would dare to give a revelation to the world as coming from God except it was tpue. Then, I thought, if the Lord requires me to submit, it must be for some good purpose ; for " He doeth all things well." I must, therefore, try to sub- due this wicked and rebellious nature of mine, and submit to His divine will, and surely He will aid and bless me. After these reflections and constant prayer, I managed to subdue my disobedient heart WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 35 sufficiently to make my appearance again among the brethren in the breakfast-room. But, oh ! that was indeed a wretched day for me ; and every day after was more wretched than the previous one. Polygamy was the last thing I thought of at night, and the first thing in the morning. It was with me in my waking hours and in the dead of the night. It haunted me like a spectre. It was like a fearful blight that had fallen upon me and was withering my soul. One thought was ever present in my mind — that thought, Polygamy ! How should I be ever able to bear it ? In a mo- ment, every thing in life appeared to have lost its charm for me, except my darling children, and they seemed now to be dearer than ever ; for I felt that t/tey were indeed my own, and that no one could take them away from me. But how I mourned over my little daughter ; for I felt that she, perhaps, would some day suffer as I did. Oh! I exclaimed, may heaven forbid it ! She is to-day a polygamic wife, and the mother of two children ! I would not have my readers think that I bore all my troubles in the introduction of Polygamy meekly, like a saint. Indeed I did not ; and I firmly believe that I was a sore trial to my husband. I was wicked and rebellious at times, and said very bitter things of " the Prophet of the Lord," and all his sex, my hus- band included ; for I began to hate the very name of "man." I am afraid that Mr. S. was very much shocked indeed, for he was then a devoted Mormon. He often told me that I was a great clog to him, Jind 36 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. more than once he said he could not enjoy the Spirit of God and live with me. But I was not always so rebellious. There were days when I was full of sorrow and regret for what I deemed my wicked thoughts about " celestial mar- riage," and then I would fast and pray, and seek for- giveness from the Lord and from my husband. But even in my best moments, I could never bear to hear him speak about Polygamy ; and whenever the elders came to our house, the painful topic was sure to be discussed. As soon as I heard it, all my angry ex- citement returned, and I instantly felt a spirit of re- bellion stirring within me. I could not help it. I felt that womankind was insulted whenever the sub- ject was mentioned, and I never got over the feeling. Oh ! I thought, how shall I ever " get salvation" with such an offending heart as mine .? It was necessary, however, for me to do something ; for I was told by my husband, and the other elders who were present at the time, that it devolved on me to teach the hateful doctrine to the women of Switz- erland. That was to be my mission, and I, poor, de- luded thing that I was, believed it to be so. I con- cealed my feelings as best I could, for I was obliged to nerve myself to the task, and prepare to perform my duty, trusting in God to assist me. How fearful a task this was ! My sorrow concerning the introduction of Polygamy was not like any other grief, for it was utterly with- out hope. Had its teachings been for this life only, I could have borne it with more fortitude, and should have endeavoured to resign myself to my fate. But WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 3/ we were taught that it was to be " for time and for eternity." When I thought that some time my life must end, and that then earthly sorrows would cease, this brought me no comfort ; for the cause of my grief was still to exist beyond the grave. Polygamy was to be practised in heaven as well as on the earth. The only possible hope that remained to me was that there — in another world — I might perhaps be so changed as not to know myself or any one else ; or that my feelings might be so greatly altered from what they were in this world that I should not real- ize any pain from what we were taught were the matrimonial arrangements in heaven. Feeling, as I did, so acutely myself, how was I to break the intelligence of this new and terrible " reve- lation" to those honest, loving women with whom I was acquainted ? I shrank from the task of inflict- ing so much pain. Their own husbands had not courage to tell them, and I am sure that I had not. But I had already been instructed in the manner in which I was to endeavour to impart to them a know- ledge of the doctrine. I had also myself been taught respecting the beauties of the "system," so that I might be able to introduce it in a proper manner. It is needless to say that I failed to see those " beauties." It was soon settled which of the sisters was to be the first victim. She was one whom we all dreaded most, although for rather peculiar reasons. She was a good woman ; but, like myself, possessed the weak- ness of being too fond of her husband. She was pos- sessed also of a very high spirit, and was indeed a completely spoiled child. 38 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. \ It was told her that I had some new principle to communicate to her from " Zion," and she was sent to my apartment to hear it. " No, I have nothing to tell you," I said. " Yes, you have," she replied ; " for your husband and mine said so." " No," I answered ; " if there was any thing, I can not now remember what it might be." The truth was, my courage had all left me. I stood there, pale and trembling, even though she was my intimate friend. She noticed it, and feared that I was ill. I was ill — worse than she thought or could yet imagine. However, I presently regained composure enough to commence telling her, and she listened quietly for a while, when suddenly she sprang up, and, with great emotion, cried, " O mon Dieu ! Quelle religion des animaux ! And your husband to come to us Swiss with such a religion as that !" She perfectly scared me. She nearly annihilated me with her looks. What a commencement to my mission ! I did not attempt to stop her or get away, say what she liked, for I knew from my own experience what she suffered. I believed, however, that there was no other way for her to " obtain salvation," and my heart ached for her. After she had spent her wrath, she came and sat by me and said, " Does my husband believe this ?" " Yes," I replied, " he does." Then followed another outburst of grief and rage fearful to witness. I tried to soothe her, but it was useless. She was one of those gushing, impulsive WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 39 women, who give way to passions of grief, and I saw that it was best to leave her alone. When she be- came more calm, we talked over it and wept together, and together knelt and prayed. I was almost going to add, we swore together in the same breath ! This, of course, we did not do. It was something else ! Finally, we came to the conclusion that we would both of us fight against the doctrine, and that we would likewise teach all the sisters to do so. This was certainly a pretty state of affairs ! After she had left the room, I began to feel ashamed of myself, that I, a missionary's wife, should have thus given way. Here, I thought, is all ray work to do over again. However, she repented, and I repented ; and we now agreed to talk to the other sisters about it, and see how they would take it. I felt a little better, now that I had a companion in misery who could sympathize with me ; and we con- soled each other, neither of us believing that ^«r hus- bands would ever practically adopt the doctrine, or, at least, not for a long time to come. We taught it to the other sisters ; but it was the same sad story over and over again. Some rebelled, and some even fell sick over it. They all lost their joyous, happy looks ; and now understood why, for some time past, I had appeared so unhappy and miserable. At every council of the missionary brethren, the sisters became suspicious of their husbands and what teaching they might be listening to. It was very evident that Polygamy was not going to contribute in any way to our peace of mind or happiness. We 40 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. could not see how it was possible that any good could result from it. The missionary elders, on the con- trary, seemed deeply interested in the new doctrine, and saw " glories" and " beauties" in it that had never been dreamed of before. They could see far away into the eternal world the " exaltation" that awaited the women who would " give wives to their hus- bands." The teaching of the doctrine of plural wives, in Switzerland, was fortunately limited. The Protestant minister, of whom I before spoke, received at first the announcement of " celestial marriage" with unfeigned pleasure. He had no son to transmit his name to posterity, and he flattered himself with hope. But his wife, who was not very young, attacked him so violently that he soon abandoned not only the ideas of patriarchal marriage, but also Mormonism itself A sister of the lady to whom I had first taught the doctrine of Polygamy, as soon as she discovered that I had converted her sister, called to see me, in com- pany with another lady. She was a tall, angular woman. As she entered the room, she asked me it I were Mrs. Stenhouse. I answered affirmatively; and, before I had time to ask her to be seated, she caught hold of me by the shoulders, like a maniac, and shook me violently, quite taking away my breath. I was like a child in her hands, and could offer no re- sistance. I had not been accustomed to such vio- lence as this. She then began to declaim wildly against me, and declared that she hated me for teach- ing her sister such an abominable religion. Her passion rising again, she seized me a second time, WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 4I and, forcing me into a corner, stood nervously clutch- ing her hands and making for my face, screaming violently that she felt as if she " could tear me to pieces." All this time her friend stood by, with an amused expression on her countenance, as if she quite enjoyed the sight. But to me it was no joke ; and I do not know what the enraged woman would have done to me, had not a gentleman, who was a friend of Mr. S., happened to come in at the moment, and, hearing the uproar, hastened to my rescue. The reader may well suppose that I shall not easily for- get my experiences in introducing Polygamy among the Swiss. The first emigration from Switzerland had a sad history. The emigrants were a good people, of the class bourgeoisie, who for the Mormon faith left all that was dear to them in fatherland, and, in many cases, gave up the homesteads which had been theirs and their ancestors' for many generations. Once, when Mr. S. returned from visiting several cantons where he had been for the purpose of coun- selling the Saints to emigrate, he told me it took all the courage he could muster to tell people in such comfortable circumstances to sell all and to gather to the deserts of Utah. The thought was painful ; but faith prevailed, and those among the simple people of the Helvetian Republic who had embraced the Mor- mon faith, set out, regarding little the perils of the ocean or the privations of the prairie, believing only that every weary step they took led them nearer to the " Zion" of their hopes. 42 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. The story of that emigrant band is very sad. Faith had been the actuating principle which induced each one of the company to leave all that was dear on earth and set out for the City of the Saints. But privation and misery shook the faith of some, and in many instances banished even the shadow of hope. On their way to " Zion," some of the emigrants became dissatisfied, and separated from the general company. They were overtaken between St. Louis and the frontiers by the dreadful cholera of 1853, and almost totally perished. When the news reached Switzerland, the friends of those who were thus lost were very naturally enraged with the Mormon mis- sionary who had " led them into all their trouble and to death." This demonstration of anger was some- what unreasonable, for every emigrant must himself have known that his way to Utah was not over a path strewn with roses ; and the missionaries who advised the journey, being only human, could not possibly foresee the visitation of the cholera, which proved so fatal to the pilgrims. These facts, however, no one seemed to take into consideration ; and it was with difficulty that Mr. S. escaped from personal violence in Lausanne. Though his friends counselled his instant departure from the place, with his usual " confidence in God," he stopped over night ; but the morning's reflections suggested discretion and an early departure. Those of the Swiss pilgrims who escaped the scourge of the cholera were only spared to realize that other scourge — Polygamy. Many a time, amidst the horrors of polygamous WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 43 "Zion," have faithful wives, who passed unscathed through that terrible plague, wished that it might have been their own fate to have perished with their countrywomen on the desert wilds. We remained in Switzerland about three years and a half The mission, notwithstanding its dark be- ginning, had been very successful. Mormonism had been introduced into seven cantons ; a paper, in the French language, was published by Mr. S., in the in- terests of that faith, in Geneva, as well as books and brochures in the French, German, and Italian lan- guages, almost entirely supported at the expense of the converted Swiss. By the time that we left, there were several missionaries from Utah, and about the same number from England, labouring in Helvetia. Mr. S. requested to be released from his presidency of the Swiss and Italian missions ; and, with the means which some of the more wealthy of the emi- grating Swiss had generously furnished, we were provided with what was necessary for our journey to Utah. CHAPTER VI. We return to England — How Polygamy was taught there — ^The Girls happy — ^The Wives miserable — General Effects of the Doc- trine — A Runaway Wife — How she acted in Haste and repented at Leisure — ^A Mother leaves her Babes — ^A Lady is "counselled " to emigrate without her Husband — Follies of certain Elders — Polygamic " Poetry!" We returned to England in November, 1854, with the intention of leaving for Utah in the following spring. Until the period of emigration arrived, we went to reside in the house of the President of the London Conference, and it was at that time that I first began seriously to doubt the truth of Mormon- ism. I gradually became convinced, though I could scarcely explain how, that there was something wrongs something that I did not understand, underlying the whole system. I began to realize that there was more of frail humanity about it than of the pure and holy religion that I had believed it to be ; for the reader must remember that, however much I was opposed to Polygamy, it never once entered my thoughts to question that it was a pure and religious principle. I believed that my opposition to Polygamy in Swit- zerland was the result of my own " depraved nature," and not the fault of my religion. But soon after our arrival in London, I began to hear things about the authorities of the church in Utah that I was con- vinced could not be right. WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 45 On the continent we had only seen and heard our- selves and our own converts on the new revelation. On our arrival in England, I was somewhat anxious to learn how others had received it. The young girls were pleased with it, for it ex- tended their chances of marriage, and they were the recipients of many attentions from the elders. It was natural for them to be gratified with the assu- rance that it was their " privilege" to tell any man of their love, and that it was his duty to marry them. But during a year's residence in London, I never met a happily married woman in the Mormon Church who did not abhor it. They were submissive to its teachings, as it had no immediate results there ; but it troubled them terribly and rendered them mise- rable when they thought of going to Utah. Married women had, however, the same favourable attentions and compliments paid them as the young girls, for the Gentile marriage never stood in the way. It could at any time be broken, if the lady had only the inclination or nerve to do it. No married missionary could take another wife in Europe with- out special permission from Brigham Young; but they could, and did, teach married women that in " Zion" the " Gentile chain was broken," and that the ladies could choose for husbands, " whom they would in the Lord," when they got there, hinting, at the same time, that they, themselves, would be in the market. That teaching was not listened to by some; but it was by others, and many homes in England have been blighted by it, and broken up. Women who were ill-mated, or imagined that they 46 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. were, saw an easy way of settling their difficulties when Polygamic teaching instructed them that all marital covenants and obligations, before entering into the church, were unrecognized by the Lord. All that they had to do was to induce their husbands to take them to Utah, and if the husband refused to go, the wife could go alone. " Get away pleasantly and quietly if you can ; if you cannot — get away anyhow." This was frequently the counsel given, and not infre- quently acted upon. A pretty face or attractive person never lacked facilities for getting away. Husbands who were dissatisfied with their wives could leave them and their families, also, and go to " Zion" alone, if the wife and family refused to accom- pany them. The husband was the head of the wife, and should do his own duty, whether his wife and children did theirs or not. If his family did not follow him, he could take a young wife or wives there, and '' lay the foundation anew" for another family ; and in his experience he believed that the promise was singularly fulfilled, that " he who forsaketh wife or child for my sake shall have a hundred fold." That run-a-way husband was, of course, entitled to a hun- dred young girls, if he could only get them and keep them. Such things were not taught to ignorant men and women only, but also to people in very much better positions. I know one gentleman in Liverpool who separated from his family because of their unbelief in Mormonism, and made great sacrifices in order to go to Utah. He married an accomplished young lady in Salt Lake City, and lived long enough in Zion tg WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 47 wish that he had never been there. The last marriage was happy enough ; but the gentleman and lady outlived their faith, and concluded to separate and leave the country. The young lady returned to London, the gentleman to Liverpool — a poorer, but a wiser man. There was also an old couple with whom I was well acquainted in Portsmouth. They were engaged in business, and doing very well. The wife joined the Mormon Church, and the husband, being a good- natured old gentleman, allowed her to do just what she liked, and she was very liberal to the mission- aries. She heard so much of the glories of " Zion" that she began to tease her husband to emigrate, although he did not wish to do so. But as he dis- covered that she was growing dissatisfied and un- happy about it, he consented to let her go alone, believing that she would return again. She went to Utah provided with abundance of every thing and plenty of money. Soon after her arrival there, she was married to an old Mormon elder, who built a house with her money and otherwise made himself very comfortable. Then he took a young wife, and then another ; and among them they led the old lady such a life that she was glad to leave the house and labour for her support as best she could. She fre- quently heard from her husband in England, who had fretted until he fell sick. He had to get a nurse or housekeeper, and as he was well to do, this person contrived to get him to marry her. After a year or two, he died, leaving all his property to her ; while the poor old lady was living in Utah in pover^rp^wi^ 48 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. unhappy and bitterly repenting her folly in leaving so good a husband as he had been to her. While the old gentleman was sick, I saw the old lady in deep distress of mind, as she could not get money to take her back to England. Had she got there while the old gentleman was still alive, she would doubtless have inherited all his property ; but now she is poor and homeless. Some years later, while living in New York, I saw other illustrations of the baneful teachings in Eng- land. One of the Mormon elders, on his return from a mission to Europe, carrfe to my house accompanied by a " sister," who, he said, had just arrived with other emigrants from England. He told me that she was feeling dull, and he would like her to be with some family of the Saints where she would feel at home for about two weeks. At the end of that time, they intended to go to Salt Lake. She took one of my little ones in her arms, and seemed, for a stranger, to fondle it with great affec- tion. I soon noticed that she was in tears, and my sympathy was instantly enlisted for her. I saw she had trouble on her mind, and I tried to discover the cause of her sorrow. She told me that she had left two little children at home, and was pining to see them. I asked her why she had left them, and she told me that she had been " counselled " to leave a good husband, a good home, and two darling little ones, and go to " Zion." She was perfectly wretched. She had nothing to complain of in her husband's con- duct towards her, only he did not believe in Mor- monism, and would not allow her to attend the WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 49 meetings of the Saints. She had come off stealthily with the assurance from " the servants of God " that she should have her children soon. I told her that I did not believe she would ever see them again, nor did I think that she deserved to, unless she returned to her husband immediately and sought his forgiveness. She had been taught, she said, that it was necessary for her salvation that she should " gather with the Saints to Salt Lake." Her husband opposed her going, and as she had to leave unknown to him, she could not manage to get her children away. I used every means in my power to get her to re- turn, and tried to picture to her that once happy home now made desolate through her desertion ; but she felt that her religion required her to make the sacrifice, believing as she had been taught, that if she " sought first the kingdom of God and His righteous- ness," all other things should be added unto her. She was, after all, very much to be pitied ; for she was a victim to the teachings of the elders, and she firmly believed that whatever they told her was the revelation of heaven to her. She left me, and I feared that she would still pursue her journey in despite of all that I had said to her ; but in about two months from that time, I was one morning told that a lady wished to see me. I was agreeably surprised to find that it was the runaway mother. She told me that after our conver- sation she could not go to Salt Lake, but had re- mained in St. Louis, had written to her husband and had made every thing right with him, and she was 50 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. now on her way back again to her home in England. She was very happy, and I rejoiced with her. This circumstance is given to illustrate the power of the teachings of the elders. To all appearances it could not have been a love affair, for there was no- thing in the look of the man that could captivate any woman. To be sure, there is no accounting for taste in matters of love, and she might have seen qualities in him that every one else had failed to perceive. Another circumstance somewhat similar to this came directly under my personal notice. In this instance the lady, whom I knew, was married very happily. Her husband held a very lucrative position, but who was at times. obliged to be absent from home for several months together, on one occasion found it necessary to leave his family for nearly a year. He went ; but not wishing to be separated from his fami- ly for so long a time, he wrote to her, requesting that she would come out to him with her children, send- ing her at the same time funds necessary for that purpose. The brethren heard of this, and " coun- selled " her to go to " Zion" instead, telling her that if she did not go then she might not have another opportunity for a long time, as the country would be involved in war. She obeyed the " counsel," and without replying to her husband, left for Utah, and crossed the plains with her four little children, and arrived in " Zion" almost dead with the trials and difficulties she had had to encounter, not having a protector, and being so entirely ignorant of the na- ture of the journey. Her husband, who was a very excellent man, followed her, some time subsequent- WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 5 1 ly ; but of course he felt that he had been very badly treated, and it was with difficulty that he could be reconciled. All the missionaries, before they leave Utah, are in- structed to make no selections from the lambs of the flock ; and though many of them have no doubt hon- oured these instructions, many others have seemed to do little more than preach on Sundays, attend one or two meetings during the week, and devote the rest of their leisure to the " sisters" — taking them to theatres, public entertainments, and wherever they themselves were invited to visit. If any family invited a Utah elder to dine with them on any given day, if he was at all familiar with them, he was almost certain to bring " a sister" with him. This was frequently a great annoyance ; for instead of imparting instruction to the family, or entertaining them with information about " Zion," his chair after dinner was almost certain to travel with that of the lady visitor to the neighbourhood ot a window,, or to a quiet corner, where they could entertain each other with soft nonsense. The follies of such missionaries, (though they doubt- less preserved themselves free from immorality,) their silly talk, childish amusements, nonsense, flirting, and extravagance with girls as silly as themselves, was a great stumbling-block to many a married woman at the introduction of the principles of Polygamy in England. At the time of my sojourn in London, there was a feeling of great uncertainty among the Saints about every thing connected with domestic relations. Ig- 52 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. norant men preaching the doctrine of Polygamy to a public audience might be expected to talk a great deal of nonsense upon such a delicate subject, and that was bad enough ; but when to this was added the fanatical feeling about the glory of " Zion," and the destruction of the Gentile world within a few years, it was worse still. There was much anxiety and excitement among the Saints. It was one contin- ued stream of prediction that the world was to be devastated by wars that would destroy the greater portion of the men, and thus bring about a fulfilment of the prophecy which says that " Seven wome'n shall take hold of one man." The women were to become so urgent in their importunities for marriage, that they would gladly promise to " eat their own bread and wear their own apparel ;" and all they would ask would be the privilege of being called by some man's name, to " take away their reproach." With such preaching, Sunday after Sunday, it is not to be wondered at that the Saints became bewildered, scarcely knowing what to do. One thing alone they knew : that they were to " flee to Zion," and get all their marital relations settled in the " Endowment House," so that every woman should have a husband who could " save her," and every man have all the wives and children that he could gather round him, before the " great day of wrath, and the coming of the Lord." One of the most popular axioms of the elders at that time was, " It is better to be the mate of a ship of war than the captain of a schooner." This was well understood by the sisters to mean that it was WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 53 better to be one of the wives of a great man in " the kingdom," than to be the only wife of a little man. It was of no consequence how kind a husband might be to his wife and family ; if he was not also abound- ing with zeal, and full of talk in the meetings, he was very little esteemed. Many a silly woman has been carried away by such nonsense till she scarcely knew what she was doing or wanted to do. She probably loved' her husband, but mourned to think that he could not take his stand among the favoured of the Lord. In the course of time, her regrets would grow into discontent ; and when some raving, enthusiastic preacher came along, she was ready to form the con- clusion that she ought to hasten to Zion ; and thus, from one step to the other, she was soon on her way to Utah, with her children, if she could, or without them if she could do no better. This was the period when Polygamy was intro- duced, and that was the spirit of the times when I made my visit to London, preparatory to going to " Zion." The following are one or two of about a dozen verses of Mormon " poetry," once extremel} popular among the " Saints," and which certainl} express very truly their sentiments at the time of «vhich I speak : " The time the prophet saw is on the wing, When seven women to one man shall cling *' Not for the lack of clothing or of bread, But for a husband — a man — a head ! To obviate reproach and share his name. As to be single then will be a shame ; 54 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. •'For war will strew its victims o'er the plain, And maddened men rush heedless to be slain ; A man shall be more precious in the land Than golden wedges from the Ophir strand. **If you perchance among the worthies stand, And seven women claim your saving hand, Do not reject the six and save the one, And boast of magnanimity when -done." Doggerel, no better than this, and much of it a great deal worse, might be heard in almost every meeting of the " Saints." CHAPTER VII. Mormon Life in London — " Counselled " to go to Salt Lake Valley — Sickness and Annoyances — Doubts and Fears — Faith wavering — Loneliness in the Great City — "The dear American Brethren" — Preparations for leaving England. Mr. M., the Mormon President in London, was constantly in receipt of letters from Salt Lake during the time of our residence in his house ; and I ob- served that he acted in a very mysterious manner with them. He would read them to my husband when he thought that they were alone, and conceal them when I came into the room. This made me resolve to see these letters, if possible. I mentioned this to Mrs. M., and she volunteered to get them for me. What I discovered I have no right to reveal now, just as I had then no right (although through the kindness of this lady they had been placed in my hands) to pry into them. Suffice it, however, to say that they set me thinking, and the more I thought the worse I felt. I was bewildered and wretched, losing confidence in myself and in every thing. In fact, I had not enough experience to rely upon my own judgment, and my husband was a slave to Mor- monism ; but from what I had read in those letters about the teachings in Utah, and from my observa- tion of the conduct of the American brethren, I began to feel the greatest horror of going out to Salt Lake. I knew it was decided that we should go in 56 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. the spring, and the thought made me very melan- choly. At this time — Christmas Day, 1854 — my fourth child was born. When he was three weeks old, my second daughter was taken very ill. I mention these things for reasons which will soon be apparent to the reader. I had now another — a real and tangible trouble added to the grief caused by my previous forebodings respecting the future, which I have already described. My child was very ill indeed. Her life was even despaired of, and in my then weak state I felt this additional trial all the more. When the time arrived for us to prepare for emi- gration, it seemed to me impossible for us even to think of such a thing. The reader will understand this when I remind him that we had four little chil- dren — the youngest only a month old — and one dan- gerously ill. The Utah brethren knew my state of mind, for I had talked with them very freely about the matter. It was therefore suspected that I was not willing to emigrate, and perhaps might even re- fuse to do so. This was an entire mistake ; for I had not yet arrived at the feeling that I could reject Mormonism altogether and throw off my connexion with that faith. How often, afterwards, I wished it had been so ! Had I then been as devoted a Mormon as I was a few months previously, I know that I should have made a greater effort to go. But, although I still clung to that religion, my faith was already under- mined ; I was soulless and dispirited. WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 57 One day Mr. M. came home and said to me : — " Mrs. Stenhouse, it has been decided to * counsel ' your husband to emigrate without you if you will not immediately get ready. I thought I would let you know this much, although it is not right for me to relate what takes place in council. But," he con- tinued, " I think it is villainous with this sick child on your hands and a young babe, to require you to do so. Yet, what can be done ? Their plan is this : Your husband, if he finds you will not go, is to get ready and leave for Liverpool ; and, as soon as he is gone, I shall be instructed to tell you that I need the rooms you now occupy, and that you must leave directly. You will be puzzled in the midst of your trouble to know what to do. Then some of the brethren will be at hand to send you after your hus- band, and you will be very glad to go ; for you will have no choice, and will be ready to-do any thing to get out of your troubles." Oh! I can not tell how indignant I was when I heard this. I utterly loathed and detested every one of them ; and I walked about the room so full of contending emotions that it was some time before I could utter a word. At last I was able to speak, and I said : — " Mr. M , would you send me away .?" " If they ' counsel ' me to do so," he replied, " I shall have to do it." " Can you not, or have you not enough courage to oppose a thing you know to be wrong T I enquired. " If I did so," said he, " I should get into trouble." He knew me too well to suppose that I should repeat what he said while it could harm him ; nor 58 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. would I now have written so much had he remained a Mormon. " Now," said I, " I shall tell them that I will not go in my present condition ; nor will I ! If my hus- band wishes to take their counsel and go, he may go alone ; and they shall see that I will not follow him now or ever after." I was greatly excited as I said this. When Mr. S. returned home, I told him what had been said ; but, as he agreed with me in believing that it was impossible for me to go with our sick child, that settled it for the present. The elders visited me and talked with me until I was nearly worried to death. They made Mr. M. give us notice to leave his apartments purely on that account ; and I had to move our sick child in cold, damp weather, just as she was getting better. As might be ex- pected, she caught cold and had a relapse, and we despaired of her ever recovering. I was now so worn out with care and anxiety and watching my sick child that my health began to fail, and I grew weaker and weaker. My little one was, however, now becoming better. She had been sick for more than two months ; and I myself alone had carefully tended her during all that period, at the same time having the charge and nursing of my young babe. All the help I had was the assistance of a girl, a mere child, only twelve years of age. My husband having frequently to preach at a dis- tance, was now a great deal from home, and I led a lonely life. I was, in fact, buried alive in the vast wilderness of London ; and nothing can be more WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 59 desolate than the feeling of loneliness in the midst of a great city. Left to my own melancholy thoughts about Polygamy and the reported teachings in Utah, my confidence in the authorities of the church was most terribly shaken, and I dreaded worse than death going to Salt Lake City. This so preyed upon my mind that my health was fast failing, and I was un- able to walk across the room or hold my infant in ray arms. My physician told me that he did not know what was the matter with me ; and twice, when visiting me, he urged me to confide in him, that he might be able to benefit me. He said that I had no disease, yet I was failing fast. I could not tell him of the sorrow that was eating my life away. I never knew what he said to my husband ; but, immediately after consultation, I was sent to the West End of London with a nurse, hoping by this slight change to recruit my health, and a kind friend took charge of my chil- dren. I did not care much what was done with me, for I fully believed that I was going to die. I had not been away more than a week when Mr. S. came to tell me that he had been notified that a ship would sail from Liverpool in the course of two weeks from that time, and that it was expected that we should sail in her. I did not feel that this was possible ; but the fact of Mr. S. speaking to me about it, showed me that he particularly wished to go, and I resolved to make the attempt. We ordered a carriage and I went to my apartment, leaving my babe with the nurse. Mr. S., after taking me to the house, left me, and I began to 6o WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. pack a trunk. Before I had been busy ten minutes, I fainted ; but how long I remained in that condition I cannot tell. When Mr. S. returned and found that I was so very ill, he telegraphed to Liverpool to say that I was not well enough to make the journey. A telegram was returned : — " Bring her along, and she will get better." But Mr. S. had a little independence left, and we did not go. The summer passed very drearily, as Mr. S. was away from home nearly all the time, lecturing in dif- ferent places. My children were too young to be companions, and the Mormons rather shunned me, because of my weakness in the faith. The young sisters did not like to hear me talk about those " dear American Brethren," and therefore they stayed away. I had, however, a few particular friends, and I felt that that was sufficient. And yet it was my husband's society that I yearned for, and this fearful Mormonism always deprived me of that. I could not, therefore, feel happy; for when he was away from me, I was always imagining some dreadful thing, which afterwards proved to have had no foundation in truth. I was doubtful of every thing now. This was the beautiful result of my religion ! I fear that by this time the reader may begin to think that I must be of a very unhappy temperament. But this is not exactly the truth. Until the time when the horrors of apprehension respecting the doctrine of Polygamy began to weigh upon my mind, I had always been looked upon as a cheerful, light- hearted, and hopeful girl. But there was a canker- worm gnawing continually at my heart now. Hope WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 6 1 had died out. I felt that I was doomed for time and for eternity, and sometimes it seemed to me impos- sible that I should pray to a God who could make such unjust laws. How could I teach my little ones to love Him } How different to me were these ideas of God and of His truth, from the feelings and sentiments which were mine when a girl ! Then I could look around upon the beauties of nature and see the hand of God in every thing, while my soul would be filled with joy and gladness ; my only anxiety being to know what I should do to become acceptable in His sight. But now I saw no beauty in any thing. Nothing had power to divert me from my sad thoughts. Mormonism to me at that time was a melancholy fact. CHAPTER VIII. We emigrate to Aiiierica — New York — The Mormon — An ** Apos- tle," two " High-Priests," and a " Seventy," and what they did — Polygamy in New York — Disarrangement of Plans — We set out for " Zion" — The Utah Elders choose other Wives — ^Three Months on the Plains— First Glimpse of " The City of Saints." About the middle of November, 1855, we sailed from Liverpool, with several hundred Mormons, for New York, where we landed on the last day of the year. Before we left England, Mr. Stenhouse concluded that ten years' constant missionary service, without fee or reward, and living in the dependent condition that I have related, was all that the church had any right to. expect of him, especially as his family was growing up, and would soon demand more than daily bread. It was his purpose to seek in the New World any occupation for which he might be fitted. He regretted that the vessel we were to sail in was to land us at New York ; but in emigration, as in every thing else in Mormonism, the priesthood dic- tate ; and to have sailed in any other vessel would have been evidence of want of faith and a good spirit. He would have preferred alrnost any other seaport, as he wished to avoid the Mormon newspaper office ; for he had an idea that he might possibly be called to associate himself with it in some way, and that again WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 63 would be a renewal of missionary life. The very thing he dreaded came upon him. Our residence in New York, while Mr. S. was as- sociate editor of the Monnon, was characterized by extreme poverty. But, with all the luxuries in the world around me, my spectre — Polygamy — would have spoiled them all. There were four brethren from Utah at that time in New York — an " Apostle," two " High-Priests," and a " Seventy." The last was much like myself in faith ; and, on his- return to Utah, he settled up his affairs, and, with his family, left the country. The High-Priests picked up each a young lady, to whom they were married after they returned to the moun- tains ; but the Apostle was favoured with a special dispensation from Brigham Young, and took his sixth wife — a very amiable young lady, then living. in Con- necticut. They occupied a pleasant house in East- Brooklyn, and had all the comforts and endearments of home while on mission. The "Apostle" was well used to the polygamic business, and suffered no inconvenience on returning home with his youngest bride ; but the High-Priests realized the truth of the adage, that the course of true love does not always run smooth. The first wife of one of them kept him at a respectful distance from her " bed and board," and the first wife of the other kept her younger rival at an equally respectful distance from herself The first " High-Priest" has " gone to heaven," and the second High-Priest had, in course of time, to give a bill of divorce to his young wife. They were all three good girls, and ac- 64 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMVT. cepted their copartnership in matrimony as purely for the sake of their faith as ever women could do. What happiness they have had in it they best know ; but the young widow seems the most contented of the three. The difficulty in Utah in 1857 brought the Mor- mon to a close, and, with its expiration, my poverty vanished. Mr. S. was now at liberty to do as he pleased, and his pen found ready remuneration on the staff of the New- York Herald. The settlement of the "Utah Difficulty" in 1858 threatened another change in our life. Mr. S. was appointed by Brigham Young to preside over the Saints in the Eastern States ; but he had got a taste of freedom, and he never afterwards was wholly engaged in the propagation of Mormonism. In the following year. Elder George Q. Cannon, now the prominent Apostle in Utah, was appointed to succeed Mr. Stenhouse ; and, at the end of the emigration season of that year, we were permitted to go to " Zion." Our journey across the plains occupied three months, and we experienced the same vicissitudes of travel as other emigrants who have already told their tale. It was the month of September — the commence- ment of our beautiful Indian summer — when we emerged from the canon and caught sight of Salt Lake City. Every thing looked green and lovely ; and, in spite of all the sad forebodings whicli troubled me in crossing the plains, I involuntarily exclaimed, " Ah ! what a glorious spot !" It looked like a beautiful WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMV^. 65 garden — ^another Eden — in the midst of a desert val- ley. We had a glimpse of the Great Salt Lake, far away in the distance, stretching out like a placid sheet of molten silver, while everywhere were the lofty and lonely-looking snow-capped mountains, which entirely encircled us, like mighty prison walls. It would be impossible for me to describe my feel- ings at that time. Even while I was enchanted with the glorious prospect before me, there arose again in my mind tliat haunting spectre of my existence — Polygamy ! I remembered that this little earthly paradise would probably be to me a prison-house ; and with a mother's instinct, I dreaded what my daughters might be destined to suffer there. Lovely as the scene was, there was yet a fatal shadow over- hanging it all. If the sad forebodings of my heart were realized, I could see no prospect of ever getting away. As to having a railroad across those plains — that seemed to me utterly impossible. Even if I had ever thought for a moment that such a work could be carried out, I never should have believed that it could be accom- plished in my own lifetime. No ! there was no help for me— even if it came to the worst. I felt that my doom was sealed ; and many another woman in the company was troubled at heart with thoughts as sad as mine. What living contradictions we were ! — singing the songs of Zion night and morning in a circle, and lis- tening to prayers of thankfulness for being permitted to gather out of Babylon ; and during the day, as we trudged along over the plains, in twos and threes, we 66 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. were expressing to each other the bitterness of our thoughts. How little, sometimes, do the songs of gladness reflect the sentiments of the heart ! Have I riot heard many a woman sing, to the tune of the " Bonnie Breast-knots," the sweet though untruthful song, " Hey, the merry Mormons !" *' I never knew what joy was Till I became a Mormon !" My edition of the song was slightly changed. I sub- stituted sorrow for "joy," and then the words seemed more applicable to my own case. We were kindly received in Salt Lake City. Hav- ing been missionaries for so many years, we were known by name ; and we also had a wide circle of personal acquaintances among the chief Elders and emigrants. It was now that that fearful Polyga- my, which I so much dreaded, was to be brought be- fore my eyes in -practice. Almost all the elders with whom I had formerly become acquainted had more than one wife. Some of these brethren called on me, and kindly insisted that I should visit their families, which I, in many instances, refused, for fear that what I might see would make me feel worse, and that was not at all necessary. Shortly after our arrival, we visited President Young, who received us very graciously, and ap- pointed an early day after that for us to dine with him. On that occasion, he invited some of the apos- tles and leading elders, with their families, to meet us at his table ; and we passed an exceedingly plea- WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 6/ sant afternoon and evening, Brigham making himself very affable. His wives, I found, were all, as far as I could judge, amiable and kind-hearted ladies, mak- ing every effort to render our visit agreeable. I was much pleased with the manner and appearance of Brigham Young, and felt greatly reassured ; and I began to hope that there was no truth in the reports which I had heard of him while in London. I was thankful to feel this, for it gave me encouragement to think that, after all, things might not be so bad as I had anticipated. Brigham to-day does not seem the same man ! I have no doubt that if he were to deign to read this little work, he would say, " It is Sister Stenhouse who has changed, not me." I would give much to believe that some of the facts of Utah history were but an idle dream ! During that visit, Brigham hinted to Mr. S. some- thing about another mission ; and when we got home, Mr. S. asked me how I should feel if he were sent away again. After all that we had gone through for Mormonism, I thought that this would be exacting too much ; but Mr. S. was ready, and really began to plan how he could secure bread for us during his ab- sence — the butter I should have had to provide my- self, or go without ; but he soon became very useful with his pen, and, therefore, was not sent away. CHAPTER IX. Life in Utah — Polygamy in Practice — ^The first Wife to be "Destroy- ed," unless she "consents" — Deceptive Teaching about taking a second Wife — ^The Mormon Plan — " Labouring" with refractory Wives — Elderly Ladies assisting in Courtship — A first Wife's Trials — Anomalies of Polygamic Life. I WAS now in the chief city of" Zion" — the dwelling- place of the Prophet and the principal Saints, which every good Mormon longed so earnestly to see. I had suffered very much, as I anticipated the time when we should arrive in Utah, and my fears of the future had long banished all peace from my mind. Now I had an opportunity of learning whether the evils which I dreaded really existed, or whether I had too credulously listened to scandalous reports, and the promptings of my own womanly apprehen- sions. I had the daily and hourly cares of a young and dependent family devolving upon me, and, of course, had not much leisure for any thing else. At the same time I had abundant opportunities of observa- tion, and thus my experience of Mormonism and Polygamy in Utah is much the same as that which any woman of ordinary sense could tell, if she had the inclination and opportunity. When Polygamy was first taught in Europe and in the United States, great stress was laid upon the assertion that in no case would any man be allowed WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 69 to take a second or third wife without (as they wished it to be supposed) the entire consent and approval of the first. This statement, though false and deceptive, naturally silenced the fears of many women who would otherwise have opposed the doc- trine ; for they were deceived into thinking that, as their husbands could not take another wife without first consulting them and obtaining their permission to do so, it would always be in their power to refuse ; and thus they supposed they would not themselves be practically affected by Polygamy until their own faith prompted them to consent. I need not say how greatly they were deceived. The elders have been often accused of deception in thus explaining away the doctrine to the women. But It seems to me that, although they were not right in doing so, it is very probable that they were influenced by good and kind motives. The fact is, many of the elders were much better men than their religion taught them to be ; and when the " revelations" which they had to teach were harsh or unjust, they would try to adapt them to the weakness of their hearers, and put them in as pleasant a way as possible. Such was the case when the revelation on Polygamy was introduced. The theory of plural marriages in Utah is this : When a Mormon husband desires to take another wife, the prescribed formula requires (i) that the Lord give a revelation to Brigham Young that He approves of the proposed extension of the man's family ; next, (2) that the would-be patriarch obtain the " consent" of the first wife to take another ; then (3) he is to obtain the consent of the parents or guax» 70 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. dians of the selected damsel, so that he can address her in loving terms respecting his devotion to God, His kingdom, and herself personally ; and (4) he must secure the acquiescence of the damsel. Should " the Lord " * veto the proposition, the suit is ended. Should " the Lord " approve and the wife disapprove, no further advance can be made. Should the parents withhold consent, " the Lord " and the wife are held in check. Finally, if they are all agreed and the maiden objects, then the approval of all the other consenting parties is set aside. That is the theory. But there is no truth in all these statements — not a particle. Without the consent and approval of Brigham Young, no patriarchal marriage can be con- summated ; with his approval, that of the wife, the parents, and the girl herself can all be dispensed with. Cases are not few to sustain these assertions. Many a maiden has been married without the con- sent of her parents ; and others have " obeyed coun- sel," when they had no heart in the matter — then or ever after. The " Revelation on Polygamy" was written by the scribe of Joseph Smith, from the prophet's dictation, after he had already taken other " wives." It is worded so as to have at one moment the appearance * On one occasion, when a Mormon gentleman from Liverpool was expressing to one of the Apostles his dissatisfaction about something, he remarked, ** Surely the Lord would not sanction this !" Where- upon the Apostle, touching him on the arm, pointed to the White House, where Brigham Young resided, and emphatically remarked, "Your *Z3 14 !i 18 19 20 21 Beaver Box Elder.. Cache Davis Iron , Juab Kane Millard Morgan. Piute , Rich Rio Virgin.. Salt Lake ... San Pete..-. Sevier Summit-... , Tooele Utah Wahsatch . . . Washington . Weber lOIO 2842 4068 2232 1123 1027 776 1429 995 69 1020 250 9019 3274 19 1349 1159 6174 642 1532 4112 997 2013 4161 2227 1154 1007 m 1324 977 13 935 200 9318 3512 T^x 1018 6029 602 1532 3746 2007 485s 8229 4459 -2277 2034 1513 2753 . 1972 82 1955 450 6786 19 2512 2177 12,203 1244 3064 7858 Total. 44,121 42,665 86,786 In the above table, for which I am indebted to the Census Bureau at Washington, the reader will perceive that in polygamous Utah there arc two thousand and fifty-six more males than females I CHAPTER XIX. Domestic Life in Polygamy — Management of Families — Separate "Homes — Half a dozen Wives under one Roof — Internal Arrange- ments—The " Odd Day" for the first Wife—" Generosity"— How six Wives are visited — The Misery of poor Polygamists — The great- er Misery in a wealthy House — " The Kingdom" — The Tale of the Doors and Windows — Fruitless good Intentions — Illustrative In- stance of the Effects of Polygamy and Monogamy — An economical Wife, and her Object — Wives in various Places — Utilizing the Ser- vices of Wives — A Husband's Difficulties — Brigham Young — His ** Homes" — Mrs. Young: Nineteen of her! — ^Wives and ** proxy" Wives — The Bee-Hive House — The Lion House — Six other Houses — Domestic Relations — Brigham's Favourite — The Prophet in the Ball-Room — His Proscenium Box at the Theatre- Delusion of Utah Women — Can this be from God ? In every conversation upon Polygamy in Utah, the first question usually asked is, " How are the women managed ? do they all live together — or how ?" There is no fixed principle regulating men in the management of their families. Every one is at liber- ty to do as he thinks best ; and, with the greatest diversity of judgment and circumstances, there are scarcely two families alike. Where the husband is wealthy, separate homes are generally provided for the wives. Still, some wealthy men have all their families together under the same roof When this is the case, if the wives number half a dozen or more, the " living" arrangements are ordered with a view to economy. If there is harmony in the household, some deference may be paid to the- first wife, and ,^ oar . WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 1 83 perhaps she may be excused from part of the do- mestic duties ; but as a general thing, all the wives take week and week about in the management of the house. The work of the kitchen, the laundry, etc., is done by hired " help." In such a house there is a common dining-room, large enough to seat the wives and the eldest and youngest children. Of course the table is often not large enough for all the children, and then there is a second table for the others. In such an establish- ment privacy is unknown. Each lady, however, has her own apartment. In a very large house, with many wives, there is greater safety and peace for the husband than in a small house, with only two wives. When there are only two apartments, the husband is supposed to be in the one or in the other ; and if there is any dispo- sition to be bitter, the occupied room at once fur- nishes the object for the attack from the vacant room. In a large house, there are some advantages. The whereabouts of the husband is not so easily discover- ed, and the unhappy or jealous wife is at a loss to know on whom she should vent her ire. On this account, even men of small means prefer to have three wives instead of two, as the jealousy is then divided, and the wives do not well know which of the two others is her greatest enemy. The husband who provides separate homes for his wives has to divide his time between them. Some men go from house to house, spending a day with one wife and a day with another, and so on until he has visited them all. Then he begins again where 184 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. he first set out, and travels over the same road as before. Where the wives are not more than three in num- ber, each wife generally has the society of her lord for two days in each week ; arKl when the husband desires to show any preference to his first wife, the odd day in the seven is accorded to her, and this is rarely objected to ; but not infrequently the ex- tra day falls to the lot of the youngest and last wife — this very pious and impartial man justifying his preference by a kindly word to his wives about their all having had " their day," and that it was nothing but right that the young bride should have "her day" also. To such a delicate appeal to their generosity, and to such an exhibition of his manifest disinterest- edness, and desire to be just, these loving wives could of course make but little objection ! A house with two wings is very popular among the men with two wives. The centre door opens into the parlour, which serves for the reception of visitors to both families. Two doors are sure to be seen — one to the right, another to the left, conduct- ing to the family apartments of each wife. The hus- band spends one week on one side of the house, and the following week he goes to the other side of the house ; and in the mean time he keeps trotting from one side to the other every day, to preserve peace in his family. I have in my mind a prominent man in Salt Lake City, who is the husband of half a dozen wives ; he divides his time after this fashion : The first week, he stays with the first wife ; the next week he is with WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. -I85 the second ; then he goes back again to the first wife for another week. He then passes the fourth week with the third wife, and back he goes again to the first wife, and so on forward and backward, until he has blessed them all with his presence. By this arrangement, the first wife has the largest share of her husband's society. The truth, however, requires that I should state that the last wife in this particu- lar family was a young and very good-looking girl, and she resided with the first wife. Thus while the husband was showing his devotion to his first wife, he was rewarded by the society of his younger one. The other wives only got a week of his society in about every eleven weeks ; they have thus each about five weeks of his society in every year. When abundant wealth can supply all the wants of numerous wives and children, and furnish every accommodation that a growing family demands, much of the jealousy and ill-feeling so common to Polyga- my can in some degree be avoided. But when poor men have families growing up in some old, dilapidated house, and huddled together, it is a very painful ex- perience. Polygamy with riches is bad enough ; but Polygamy with poverty is terrible. It is said that many men in Utah have entered into polygamic life with two wives under one roof, and with but a very doubtful partitton in the bed- room. But even for this those poor people were hardly to be blamed. " Build up the kingdom ! build up the kingdom !" has been drummed into their ears till all good sense and propriety were driven out of their heads. It is very common, however, to see 1 86 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. families of two or three wives living together in one small house — the women with separate bed-rooms, but with only one kitchen to accommodate them all, and with one room that serves as dining-room and parlour — all for " the Kingdom's " sake * A row of doors and windows may be seen in every settlement in Utah, and even still in Salt Lake City they may be noticed. To each door and window there was a wife, a fire-place, a bedstead, three chairs, and a table. When the family of either wife increased and required more room, a shed would be added be- hind. This was "celestial" marriage in Utah. Yet I have known more misery to exist in a handsome residence, and more ill-feeling between two wives rolling in abundance there, than probably was ever felt in some of those mud-roofed cottages of doors and windows where half a dozen wives resided. Poverty is ill to bear in Polygamy. It is a terrible physical affliction, and develops the lowest feelings in both women and children, who are ever afraid that other wives and their children are getting more than * I have frequently mentioned in this work the word "Kingdom." To my "Gentile" readers, this expression will probably not be very clear, and it is only right that I should give a word of explanation. The Mormon doctrine is, that in the other world, a man's children and descendants will form his "Kingdom." Hence it is that they are anxious to have numerous families, as the more children a man has, the greater will be his power and glory hereafter, as their patri- arch and monarch. A knowledge of this doctrine will give the reader a better insight into much that has been written, and will explain why it is that Polygamy has taken such hold upon the minds of the Mormon people, and how natural it is that the idea of a future ** king- dom," if once beheved, should enter so deeply into their thoughts and language, and so largely influence the practice of their lives. WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 1 8/ their share of bread, potatoes, and molasses — the staples of such a home — but in the houses of the rich, with every thing in abundance at hand, it is there that the green-eyed monster — jealousy, has the fullest rein. The mind, thus unoccupied with the cares of providing for a home, is the more at liberty to count the hours of a husband's absence, to brood over the remembrance of the last kind look which he gave to the other, or to note the more delicate shade of the last silk dress, or the richer shawl, which she did not get. I have seen such women ; I have heard them confidentially tell their woes ; and I have watched them pine away to that physical weakness which makes life a burden. Possibly the other lady was innocent of ever doing any thing intentionally wrong, and quite as likely, too, the lord of the mansion was as careful as man could be to guard his tongue, to control his eyes, and to measure all his acts, and knew not why his wife should pine and always have her headaches and re- tire to her own apartment. With, or without cause, the sensitive woman is afflicted, and not infrequently she it is who suffers most who has the most attention. One kind, insinuating glance of the husband to the other wife obliterates from the afflicted one's memory the ten times greater acts of kindness that he has shown to her. All is forgotten in an instant ; the waters of Lethe pass over the tablets of her memory, and the recollections of the plcasantcst hours of her life are washed away for ever. The effects of Polygamy are singularly illustrated in the appearance and condition of two sisters (twins) 1 88 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. who reside in Salt Lake City. The contrast between the two ladies is very striking, although in many re- spects they resemble each other so strongly that it is almost impossible even for their most intimate friends to distinguish the one from the other when apart. Sometimes even their husbands have ludicrously mistaken them. One of these ladies is the wife of a liberal, kind-hearted man, but he is a Polygamist, and has three other wives besides herself. The other sister is the wife of a monogamist ; and, of course, is the sole mistress of his heart's affections. When, however, the sisters are together, a marked dissimilarity can be observed between them. The wife of the Polygamist — good-hearted man, as he is — has a touching look of care and sorrow constantly dwelling upon her features, for she has but a share in her husband's love. The wife of the mono- gamist has no such sad expression on //^r face ; for small as her husband's heart may be, she knows that she alofte rules therein — its sole queen and mistress. I knew two wives — very pleasant ladies and natu- rally kind-hearted — who tried the Polygamic life in its varied phases. They were unhappy together and they separated, and tried the experiment of living in different parts of the city. That was, however, still worse than before. When the ladies were both living together, either lady could at once see whether her husband's hat and overcoat were in the hall ; but when he had a second home, he was gone entirely, and no trace of him was left behind. When both were in one house, prudence might suggest to the husband the number of the absent hours ; but out of the UlTITL.. .17 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 1 8 liouse, he might find a thousand business excuses for a prolonged absence ; none of which the suffering one would believe implicitly. Besides, when all together, in the same house, one table served for both wives, and the husband could not, of course, " get a better dinner in one house than in the other." Women naturally seek the happiness of their hus- band, even though they may be bitter against him and Polygamy. They try to preserve his favour and make their homes as attractive as possible, so that he may always be pleased when he comes to see them. Out of their frequently poor allowances for the main- tenance of their families, and what their own labour may add thereto, some women try to be exceedingly economical while they are living by themselves, so that when it comes to "their turn" to receive the hus- band, he may be well entertained. I have one lady in view who earned her husband's flattering opinion for economy in this way, and by some unlooked for change in his family, this good opinion has been of some service to her. That is the course adopted by a woman of years and experience. Young and thoughtless wives some- times try the opposite experiment, and when their husbands come to see them they are always poor, suffering — always needy ; they never have enough of any thing. The effort at creating sympathy is not half as successful as the pleasant home and smiling welcome of more experienced ladies. Many a woman has missed her opportunity from want of a proper knowledge of human nature and good cookery. Some of the leading men have wives in different 190 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. parts of the Territory ; which is, of course, very con- venient when travelling. It is quite common to find a man with one family in the city and another a few miles in the country. The city residence is necessary in the pursuit of business, while the country wife overlooks the farm and dairy. Many of the patriarchs in the country are very judicious in their selection of wives — that is, if they have comfortable homes. I remember many years ago reading a letter in a newspaper from a " brother" in the south of Utah. He had one who was a good housewife, another who was a good weaver, another was a good seamstress ; and all his ambition then was to find another wife who could teach the children. Some men are not quite so fortunate in their patri- archal relations. They do not seem to know how to dispose of themselves and keep peace in their fami- lies. In the language of the teachers, these are " weak men, who fall in love with one wife, and are not smart enough to conceal it from the others." Perhaps something occurs in course of time to break in upon his sweet communion with the favourite, and he leaves her and goes to another wife. Then the unfortunate patriarch has the favourite's indignation added to the complaints. of the other wives, and his latter condition is worst of all. No amount of " teach- ing" in the world would make such a family happy. Women are argus-eyed, and nothing can escape their notice. No man with weaknesses should ever think of Po- lygamy. Of the privacy of Brigham Young as a man, I shall WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. I9I not write — no, not a word. His wives and children are as sacred to me as I would desire my»own family to be with the public. But as the head of a system, I have no scruples to speak of him, and of the example of "celestial marriage" which he sets before the world. He cannot consistently object, as he has re- peatedly told the people to follow him as he follows Christ ; and as he permits no one to question him, the natural conclusion is that his family is the pattern of the patriarchal order. Very extravagant statements have been published of the number of Brigham Young s wives and chil- dren. How many he has had from the time he courted Miss Martha Brotherton until now, it would be difficult to estimate. Some of his wives are dead ; others have left him, and many probably have been sealed to him who strayed away like those of Brother Heber, and he knew not whither they went. Of Brigham's present family I am personally ac- quainted with nineteen of his wives. Before he was a Mormon, he had a wife and family, but of that lady I know nothing. Two of her daughters are in Utah. His Mormon family begins with his first, legal, wife, who is still living — Mrs. Mary Ann Angel Young. She is probably about his own age, but is physically less preserved, and looks much older. She is a most excellent and amiable lady, and bears traces of having had her full share of earthly troubles. She is the mother of his three prominent sons, Joseph A. ; Brigham, Jr. ; John W., and two daughters — Alice and Luna. Each of the sons has three wives. The first daughter is the third of four wives in a 192 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. polygamic household. The other daughter is the first wife of, a young man, and has for a companion wife her father's daughter by another mother. The eldest daughter, Alice, has also her half-sister as an associate wife in her husband's household. The legal wife of Brigham is : I. Mrs. Mary Ann Angel II. III. IV. V. VI. VII. VIII. IX. X. XI. XII. XIII. XIV. XV. ;;} (sisters) , His Polygamic Wives are : Mrs. Clara Decker, Mrs. Lucy Decker, Mrs. Emeline Free Mrs. Harriet Cook Mrs. Twiss Mrs. Eliza Burgess Mrs. Susan Snively Mrs. Lucy Bigelow Mrs. Harriet Barney Seagers. Mrs. Martha Bowker , Mrs. Margaret Pierce Mrs. Amelia Folsom , Mrs. Mary Van Cott Cobb Mrs. Eliza Ann Jay Webb. . . . His " Proxy" Wives are : XVI. Mrs. Emily Partridge. XVII. Mrs. Zina D. Huntington Jacobs XVin. Miss Eliza R. Snow [These were formerly " sealed " to Joseph Smith, and are now " Proxy" wives to Brigham.] Also — XIX. Mrs. Augusta Cobb [who was " sealed " to Joseph Smith since his death.] Besides these, there may very likely be other ladies Young, WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 1 93 ** sealed " to Brigham, but I myself know personally no more than the above named. Brigham's first home in Utah was in a little cot- tage called " The White House," which every visitor to Salt Lake will notice on the hill-side, north of " The Eagle Gate." In that house Mrs. Young, the first, is domiciled. She is much loved by her chil- dren, and with their attention and affection, this good old lady probably long ago became indifferent to the additions that have been made to her husband's do- minions. She is much beloved by the people for her own worth. In the " Bee-Hive House," the official residence of Governor Young, adjoining his office on the east, there is but one lady occupant — Mrs. Lucy Decker Young. There is a privacy about this dwelling that no one invades. It is here that the Prophet has his own private bed-room, and at this house he breakfasts — when he has been at home over night. In the " Lion House" — a very long, narrow build- ing on the west of the business office — the larger num- ber of his wives reside. The basement floor is used for kitchen, dining-room, pantry, and a general re- ceptacle for the odds and ends of a large family. The first floor has a passage up the centre, where proba- bly half a dozen of the wives with small families have their rooms on the right-hand side. On the left, at the entrance, is the parlour, and the other rooms on that side are occupied by mothers with larger fami- lies, and ladies who have a little more than ordinary attention. The upper floor is divided into twenty square bed-rooms. o*- 194 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. There is no extravagance in the furniture of the homes of these wives, but they are comfortable and kept neat and clean. It is in this " Lion House" where he usually dines at three p.m. Mrs. Twiss Young is housekeeper, and excellently fitted for the duties of that position. At three punctually the bell rings, and the mothers, with their children, move down to the dining-room, and all are seated at a very long table, that has had to be lengthened by turning round at the end of the room. Each mother has her children around her. Brigham sits at the head of the table, with his fa- vourite — when in the house — vis-a-vis, or on his left, and any visitor sits on his right hand. The repast is frugal, but ample. Brigham is a sober and exceed- ingly economical man. This is the first time he sees his family. In the evening, at seven o'clock, the bell again rings, and the mothers and the children fill the sides and ends of the parlour. When they are all seated, the Patriarch enters, takes his seat by the parlour table, and chats quietly with those who may go in with him to prayers. When all the members of the family are assembled, the door is closed ; they kneel, and he prays for all — for Zion, and for the " King- dom." That is the last they see of him, unless they seek him privately. Outside of the wall that surrounds these houses he has wives occupying six other houses. One other wife is far down South, another is at the farm, and one " proxy" wife lives with her son-in-law. The wives of Brigham have all good homes, have WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 1 95 the necessaries of life, and are comfortably, respect- ably, and neatly dressed. With the exception of the one who is called his " favourite," and her growing rival, there is no indication of extravagance among them. Up to an addition of late years, the community heard nothing of his family but what was pleasant and creditable to them. His wives are kind and faithful mothers, seeking to live the religion they have been taught, and ambitious to increase the glory of their " lord." They are women who would be regarded with respect in the most moral commu- nity of any country ; and are as far from resembling the Sultanas of an Eastern harem as one thing can be different from another. Most of them are women- of devout faith. I know them all personally — some of them intimately ; and, while I have heard from some, with heavy hearts, of their difficulties in bear- ing " the cross" which all Mormon women have to carry, they have tried, I know, to be submissive, and I think it is due to them that I should make the pre- sent recognition of their goodness of disposition and purity of soul. With his family he is said to be kind ; but it is supposed to be more the awe which his position as Prophet inspires, than the love which they bear him as a man, which renders him successful in managing them. At the .same time, that sweet familiarity is destroyed which should exist between husband and wife, father and children. He aims to be looked upon more as a ruler than as the head of a family. With such a number of wives, he cannot possibly ig6 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. wait upon them in visiting, frequenting the ball-room, or places of public entertainment. With the excep- tion of his reigning favourite, whoever she may hap- pen for the time to be, no one expects his attentions. At the theatre, which is his own, a full number of seats are reserved, and his wives attend when they please or they remain at home. They sit in the body of the parquette, among the rest of the people ; but one of the two proscenium boxes is reserved for him, and beside him is a chair for the favourite Amelia. When he goes to the ball-room, the same special attention is manifest. He dances first with the fa- vourite, and, if half a dozen more of his wives have accompanied them, he will dance with each of them once in the course of the evening ; but with the fa- vourite he dances as frequently as any youth in the ball-room with his first maiden love. The Apostles and leading men of the community, who dance atten- dance upon him and desire his favour, are sure to seek the pleasure of her hand and place her in the same cotillion with Brigham, who is thus able all the evening to enjoy her company. This favouritism is ill-looked upon by the Saints, and, in their estimation, savours more of Turkey than of the " Celestial Kingdom." Were there greater devotion, or greater virtue in her, the people might find some argument for his defence ; but the cir- cumstance, whenever alluded to in society, is gene- rally answered with a smile or a shrug of the shoul- ders. Some Apostles look with pain upon this boyishness of the Prophet, and deplore it. Most of them are WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 1 9/ attached to their first wives, and have shown to them consideration and attention which has not always pleased Brigham. I have heard more than one of them express the wish that Brother Brigham's devo- tion to the fair sex had more direction toward his first wife. It is but just to the reigning favourite to state that she has not been wanting in kindness and respect to Mrs. Young. Brigham has had his favourites before ; and, if he were to live many years longer, with the privilege hitherto enjoyed by him of doing just what he pleased, he doubtless would lose his fancy for his present toy and seek another. One of his recent wives is a very handsome lady, and his attentions in that direction are already very marked. As I write, the thought comes over me, — What in- fatuated beings the women of Utah have been, with all these evidences of human weakness and passion exhibited by the " Priesthood " continually before their eyes, that they should ever believe that there is even a shadow of divinity in Polygamy ! How could they imagine for an instant that it was possible for such a doctrine to emanate from God, or from that Adorable Being who looked upon woman with the sweetest tenderness that humanity could express ! What a terrible infatuation ! It is fearful to con- template ! CHAPTER XX. Gentiles in Utah — Mormon Women not allowed to mingle with them — Restrictions and Prejudices — Women and Men kept apart in the Tabernacle and the Theatre — Keeping a Gentile Boarding- House — Times changed — Mormon Girls marrying Gentile Hus- bands — Why they prefer the Gentiles — Reasons of Jealousy — The Looks of Mormon Women — False Notions — The Railway working Changes — An Appeal to Congress — The wisest Course to be adopted — To the Women of Utah. For many years there were very few Gentiles in Utah. Most of these were merchants and their clerks, and teamsters. There were also two or three Federal officials. Although they were but few, their influence was always dreaded by the Mormon lea- ders ; and the Tabernacle and Meeting-Houses re- sounded with something disparaging to the Gentiles. Some of them doubtless commanded very little re- spect. But it mattered not how much others might be respected elsewhere, how pure and blameless their lives, it was enough that they were Gentiles, and a worse thing still to be a gentlemanly or edu- cated Gentile. The pleasant manners of a cultivated life were set down as the wiles of the Evil One to seduce the simple and trusting maidens of the flock, and rendered the gentleman an object of suspicion and distrust. The rough and uncultivated could be easily guarded against and easily exposed. No young woman could possibly accept any atten- WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 1 99 tions from a Gentile without being disgraced — it was an unpardonable sin, and she was certain to be de- nounced and abused in the Ward meetings. It was a risk of reputation for any woman to be seen talking to a Gentile. It mattered not where they might have met before — at the store, or at a friend's house, or even before they had gone to Utah — to recognize a Gentile in the street was to avow an intimacy which was associated with a suspicion of the vilest conduct. For any family to entertain gentlemen who brought letters of introduction from friends abroad was not impossible, it is true; but the less they had of this kind of thing the better. If these gentlemen were simply passing through Salt Lake City, an invitation to the theatre might be accepted by any member of the family ; but they would be very thankful when it was over, knowing well that all eyes were upon them. But if this friend hap- pened to prolong his visit, and should chance to give a second invitation for the theatre or a carriage-drive, some falsehood had to be conjured up as an excuse for declining. Some toleration was extended in the case of my husband, as he was an editor, and necessarily had many visitors whom he took pleasure in entertain- ing ; but it was considered by many pious friends that we had more of that kind of association than was beneficial. At the present time, I have little doubt that our leaving the church is attributed to this cause. I would not have permitted my daughters, had they had such a desire, to have accepted any atten- 200 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. tions from a Gentile. Not that I believed it was wrong — I knew better — but I was afraid of the bit- ter tongue of scandal, which I knew was ready to wag. A very sweet little girl who lived near us, and who had associated with my daughter while growing up, became acquainted with Gentile ladies and visit- ed them at home. There, naturally, she became ac- quainted with Gentile gentlemen ; and as she was very good-looking she received attentions which were to her agreeable, particularly in her lonely situation. Of course, the acquaintance with my daughter had to be stopped, although I believed this little girl pure and spotless. The scandal against her as she grew up became of the very vilest character, and her of- fence was simply associating with the Gentiles. Had her faith in the Mormon Church been unshaken, she would certainly not have formed such acquaintances ; but the poor girl was disgusted with the wretched phases of Polygamy constantly before her eyes — her mother could have told an awful tale of sorrow. Another very beautiful young Mormon lady, the daughter of a gentleman who, when living, was one of the highest dignitaries of the church, was once chosen for her handsome appearance to represent the goddess of liberty in a Fourth of July proces- sion. When Brigham heard it, the committee were rebuked and the young lady insulted by their after- wards refusing to accept her, although she had been specially invited — her unfitness being that she kept Gentile society. These young ladies are now married to very re- spectable Gentiles. WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMV. 201 When the United States army went to Utah in 1858, one half of the old Tabernacle was appropriat- ed to the sisters, and the other half to the brethren. The centre of the new Tabernacle is now devoted ex- clusively to the sisters — no husband or brother sits near them. When Brigham built the theatre it was also specially partitioned off. The Mormon families occupied the parquette, and the Gentiles had the first circle. Of course, the poorer classes had no souls to contaminate, were less cared for, and Gen- tiles and Mormons sat together in the second and third circles. At one time, the Saints were not permitted to keep Gentile boarders and retain good standing in the church. Some persons would persist in doing so ; but it was a source of great scandal, and they subjected themselves to attacks in the sermons. It was told them that Gentile society would bring a per- nicious influence into their families. But what a change has come over the affairs of Utah ! One of Brigham Young's own wives, the one who was once the reigning favourite, now keeps Gentile boarders. Not long ago, I made some remarks about the incon- sistency of this to a very good sister, who by-the- by was doing the same thing herself, and was also one of the persons most opposed to our receiving Gentile company. She replied that the times had changed, and that Brigham Young could not be re- sponsible for what his wives did ; they would do as they pleased. This excuse was worse than none ; for every one in Salt Lake City knows that none of Brigham Young's wives would do any such thing 202 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. without, his permission. The wife alluded to is as obedient as any he has got, and a very excellent lady with a large family. It enables her probably with her numerous children to procure many things which they might otherwise have to dispense with, and as long as " there is money in it," and his treasury is saved, Brigham will " wink at it," as he says the Lord does at certain things among the Saints. I could mention Mormons who have had a very bad name for years for keeping Gentile boarders. They will doubtless now feel better since it has become respectable and no longer renders them liable to " damnation." Notwithstanding the vigilance of the priesthood, several young ladies of highly respectable families have preferred Gentile husbands, and have left the Territory. These have invariably been traduced, and every rumour of misfortune occurring to them afterwards was a sweet morsel to be retailed with very ill-disguised gratification. For any lady to be spoken of with respect or as holding fl good posi- tion after leaving the church is particularly obnoxious to the devoted Mormons, and any evil which may befall such a person is regarded as a judgment from heaven. Kind-hearted and fraternal as the people are, the rulers seem to rejoice in nothing so much as the misery or ill-fortune of any one who has left the church. It is not strange that spirited, proper-feeling girls should find the society of Gentiles acceptable. There need be no my3tery about it. The Mormon boys and young men have heard so much of polygamic preach- ing, and have had so much of its practice before their WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. 203 eyes, that many of them never can visit the Mormon girls without speaking of it. I have frequently heard sensitive young maidens relate that boys, when visit- ing, were in the habit of speaking of their " privi- leges ;" telling what they would do when they got married ; how they thought that they would take two wives at once, to begin with ; how they would live with them afterwards, etc. Girls of the slightest feeling and intelligence are naturally shocked at this kind of talk, even though it has no practical effect on them. Polygamy is dis- agreeable enough in any form, but when made a sub- ject of boasting by silly boys and ignorant men, it is doubly offensive. In Gentile society, the girls are at least spared conversation on such subjects ; and when they are by themselves, they do not fail to re- mark it to each other. In polygamic Mormonism, woman is a convenience ; in a proper Gentile home, woman is a companion, and this comparison is really more apprehended than any immoral conduct. A polygamous wife, who is one of many, who sees her husband only occasionally, and that generally as a favour, cannot well see a Gentile lady at home with- out comparing situations. It makes them unhappy, and that in a great measure is why the Mormons have been taught to avoid Gentile society. Writers upon Utah have said that the Mormon women were extremely homely and coarse-looking. This is very unjust, for, doubtless, nowhere is there to be found — taking them as a whole — a more fresh, happy, and good-looking set of girls than among the Mormons. It is only after marriage that many of '/ 204 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. them lose their elasticity of step, their joyous, happy looks, and that animation of countenance which makes even a homely face look beautiful at times. On some of their faces may be detected a deep melancholy ; but, if they can be diverted from their sad thoughts for ever so short a time, they become animated, and even, it may be, beautiful. Add to this secret sorrow which casts a gloom upon their countenances, the little opportunity which they have of cultivating their taste for dress, and it will not be wondered at if the Mormon women are not always very beautiful to a man who is captivated by outward appearances. Many of these women are taught to be satisfied with simple clothing, and it is constantly drummed into their ears that love of dress is a sin in the sight of God. Thus this love of the beautiful, which is a part of woman's nature, has to be crushed out en- tirely, and that, too frequently, by her own husband, whose example is entirely opposed to his teaching ; for a Mormon, if he can afford it, is very scrupulous in his own dress. Those very men who are most severely economical with their wives, and who think that they should be satisfied with homespun and sun- bonnets, are they who are the soonest captivated by an elegantly-dressed and fashionable woman, and often become perfectly infatuated about her. This has been a cause of much discontent among the women of Utah ; for they very justly feel that if they had as fine feathers, they might make just as handsome birds. I remember, at one of the parties, a lady was very nicely dressed, and one of the principal authorities of iVBivi WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAM^^ - 20 the Church said to her, " Sister, don't you think that you spend too much time and thought on your dress ?" She answered, " Do you think so ? After all, a person looks a great deal better when they give a little attention to their dress. You, Brother Kim- ball, look a great deal better since you have worn a coat of broadcloth, cut in the fashionable style." He simply answered that it was not his wish to wear other clothes than what he used to, but that his wives insisted upon his doing so. Men in Utah are not guilty of following the advice of their wives, except it be in thT^'bne particular; for Brigham himself has said that " it is a disgrace in the sight of heaven for a man to follow his wife." In Utah, as well as elsewhere, there are certainly women to be found who never had any good looks to lose, or a sensitive nature to contend with ; but it is not true to assert this as a characteristic of the whole community. The women of Utah are like women of their class everywhere. The construction of the Pacific Railroad, the dis- covery of the great wealth in the mountains of Utah, and the free expression of the sentiments of thinking men who have outlived and abandoned Mormonism, have given the death-blow to Polygamy. Were there none but Mormons in the Territory, it might have lived on so long as they were willing to remain in poverty ; but with prosperity, and the changed cir- cumstances which are ever certain to follow wealth, Polygamy is a doomed institution. Whatever, in the providence of God, may be the 206 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT POLYGAMY. action of Congress toward Utah, if the word of a feeble woman can be listened to, let me respectfully ask the Honourable Senators and Representatives of the United States that, in the abolition of Polygamy, if such should be the decree of the nation, let no com- promise be made where subtilty can bind the woman now living in Polygamy to remain in that condition. Legalize, if Congress will, the marriages that have been made, and legitimatize the children born in that wedlock, if such can be done, for the women and chil- dren are innocent ; but let one proviso ever remain, that any wife living in Polygamy, at the time of the passage of that Act of Congress, shall be then and ever afterwards free to abandon that relationship when her conscience shall so dictate, without legal hindrance, and that she and her children shall be provided for as if she had been his first and legal wife whom the courts oi law had separated "for cause." I have now completed my task, and am about to lay down my pen. I shall, I know, be condemned by those hymn-singing, devotional women, who, child- less and husbandless here, dream of the glories of the world to come, while they never knew the duties, the obligations, the sweet and hallowed sympathies of the world in which they live. In their eyes, I have doubtless committed the " unpardonable sin." I have written for the suffering and sorrowing women in Polygamy. They will understand me, and to them I appeal. Before the Great Tribunal I will cheerfully meet their verdict. 1 HOME USE CIRCULATION DEPARTMENT MAIN LIBRARY This book is due on the last date stamped below. 1-month loans may be renewed by calling 642-3405. 6-month loans may be recharged by bringing books to Circulation Desk. Renewals and recharges may be made 4 days prior to due date. ALL BOOKS ARE SUBJECT TO RECALL 7 DAYS AFTER DATE CHECKED OUT. DEC !i5 19/4 2 5 INT EPV;^""^'^Y LO AN '\\\ \ UMIV. OF CALIF.. BERK. I mn>«n?f ^^ - JUl «'M UJ €B- 5 4 -trf — ©— >21— A-40m-^'74 (HSCqil)^ 3 General Library University of California Berkeley YB 3368 \ - UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY