IVERSITY 
 OF 
 
THE 
 
 IMPOSTOR DETECTED, 
 
 OR 
 
 A REVIEW 
 
 OF 
 
 SOME OF THE WRITINGS 
 
 OF 
 
 PETER PORCUPINE." 
 
 BY TiMOTffr TlCKLETOBT. 
 
 " He is a Monfter of fuch horrid ^en 
 " As to be hated, needs but to be icen." 
 
 POPE, 
 
 To WHICH IS ANNEXED 
 
 A REFRESHMENT FOR THE MEMORY o* 
 William Cobbett, 
 
 BY 
 
 SAMUEL F. BRADFORD. 
 
 Second Edition. 
 PHILADELPHIA : 
 
 FROM THE FREE AND INDEPENDENT 
 
 POLITICAL b* LITER ART 
 
 PRESS OF 
 
 THOMAS BRADFORD, 
 
 PPJNTER, BOOKSELLER &f STATIONER, 
 No. 8, South Front Street. 
 
 MOMBM 
 1796, 
 
TO THE READER. 
 
 II 
 
 i 3B7 
 
 I 
 
 HAVE entered into a review of fome 
 of the writings of " Peter Porcupine," with 
 confiderable reluctance Neither my engage- 
 ments nor my inclinations favoured an underta- 
 king, where nothing was to be acquired from a 
 victory over fuch a defpicable opponent. Indeed 
 I felt and could have exclaimed with the poet 
 
 t( Now by my foul it makes me blufli to know, 
 " My fpirit could defcend to fuch a foe." 
 
 Some of my friends, however that I always feel 
 difpofed to gratify, prompted me to the tafk, by 
 an aflurance, that contemptible as was Peter 
 Porcupine, he was fupported by a Britifo faction 
 in the United States, and that it would not be an 
 ufelefs undertaking to pourtray the man who was 
 thus fuftnined; indeedithaslongbeenmy opinion, 
 that this pamphleteer was madeufe ofbya/0ra 
 
 
ir TO THE READER, 
 
 agent among us, and from his own vindication 
 of himfelf this opinion has been ftrengthened 
 into conviction ; but his being iu foreign pay 
 was not a reafon fufficient for me to analize him, 
 had I not been perfuaded that he received a 
 countenance from men filling themfelves Ame- 
 ricansThQ extracts which have appeared, in 
 certain Gazettes in the United States, from his 
 writings, carry a prefumption, that he is not 
 foftered by a foreign agent alone, that even citi- 
 zens of America are found proflituted enough 
 to make ufe of him The Editor of the Gazette 
 of the United States has even extracted and 
 publiflied from one of his pamphlets, a low and 
 fcurrilous attack upon Thomas Paine a man 
 to whom the United States are much indebted 
 for his exertions during the late Revolution-- 
 It was acknowledged then, and cannot be deni- 
 ed now, that the author of Common fenfe, the 
 Crifes, &c. was worth an army to the United 
 States, and yet in the twentieth year of Ameri- 
 
TO THE READER. V 
 
 can Independence, a man, \vho has rendered, 
 fuch fervices to his country, is moft grofsly a- 
 bufed by a Brttijh Corporal, and this abufe is in- 
 ferted in a paper which profelles ftfelf to be a 
 friend to the American government, to the in- 
 dependence of the United States, and to the 
 caufe of Republic anifm ! ! 
 
 In theCentinel, a paper publifhed in Bofton, 
 Peter Porcupine is actually pauegyrifed, as will 
 apDear from the following extracts from it 
 " Mr. Ruffd? The public of the United 
 States has for fome months pad been inftructed 
 by and entertained with the writings of JMr. 
 William Cobbett of Philadelphia, bearing the 
 fignature of PETER PORCUPINE -Thefe wri- 
 tmgs have been generally read ; and the feveri- 
 ty of their fatire, their lucid argument, and 
 pungent wit, have greatly chaffed the diforga- 
 
 nizlng faction of our country OF - canrfe 
 
 champions of that faclion have re for ted to their 
 darling weapon fcurrility, falfhood and Billinf- 
 
vi TO THE READER. 
 
 gate abufe againfl him Finding thefe could 
 have no effect in deterring the PORCUPINE from 
 ufmg his quills, or warding off their barbs, 
 they have been reduced to the pitiful fhift of an 
 incendiary and threatening letter This mea- 
 fure has produced a pamphlet from MR. COB- 
 BETT, which a correfpondent has enclofed me, 
 in the lad mail, and as none of them have yet 
 reached this town, I fend you an analyfis of part 
 of it, and extracts from the other 'part, for the 
 amufemerit of your readers." 
 
 u PETER PORCUPINE again. 
 " MR.- RUSSELL," 
 
 My object is to give currency to the 
 writings of MR. COBBETT ; as he has flood for- 
 ward the Champion of our laws and conftitutedau* 
 thorlties ; and notwithstanding his frequent at- 
 tacks on the perfecuted PRIESTLEY, and fevere 
 remarks on the ruling powers of the French na- 
 tion fome of which partake too much of the 
 
TO THE READER, VI! 
 
 gall of bitternefs, thofe wrhings have clone 
 much fervice to the caufe of federalifm, good 
 order and tranquility I fhall now conclude the 
 extracts, which are as follows. 3 ' 
 
 From thefe extracts it will appear, that Peter 
 Porcupine is confidered as the champisn of our 
 laws and conflituted authorities ; and altho' 
 he has malicioufly and indecently abufed " the 
 ferfecuied Prieftley" and altho' he has publifh- 
 ed every vile, fcandalous and falfe thing againit 
 our allies, (till tie is a good federaiifl and a 
 friend to good order and tranquility ! We fhall 
 from this be enabled to form lorae idea of what: 
 is meant by federal jfiii y good order and tranqitUit'j. 
 The man who will ufe his utmofl endeavours 
 to embroil this Country with France who will 
 propagate the fouled falfhoods and utter the vi- 
 left imprecations againfl her, to accomplifh a 
 mifunderftanding with her, is a good federalifi, 
 is a friend to good order and tranquility." He 
 whofe profefTed object is to extol a nation even 
 
Vm TO THE READER. 
 
 to the third Heaven, that has outraged humanity 
 and the laws of nations a nation that has difre- 
 garded our fovereignty, that has robbed us of 
 our property and made flaves of our citizens- 
 fuch a man is the champion of our laws and our 
 conftituted authorities fuch a man is zgoodfe- 
 deralil and a friend to order and tranquillty ! / 
 Here we have the cloven foot of a Britifh faction, 
 and here we difcover the aflbciation with a fo- 
 reign agent to fuftain an incendiary fcribbler. 
 The" lucid argument' 9 which this Centiriel 
 babbler feels fuch a reverence for, brings to 
 my mind the lines of the poet on a loin of veal 
 in a date of incipient putrefaction, and as itisfo 
 analagous, the reader will pardon me forinfert- 
 ing it. 
 
 " So have I feen in larder dark, 
 Of veal a/wr/Wloin, 
 Replete with many a lucid fpark 
 As wife philofophers remark, 
 At once both fink 
 
TO THE READER. IX 
 
 With refpect to the feverity of the fatire and 
 the pungency of the wit, I will offer no opinion 
 left it might be conftrued into prejudice ; but 
 I will give better authority, the opinion of Pe- 
 ter's own countrymen, the monthly reviewers 
 In the London Monthly review for 1795, we 
 find the following remarks on the " Obferva- 
 tions on the emigration of Dr. J. Prieftley, and 
 on the feveral addreues delivered to him on his 
 arrival in New York, 5 * 
 
 " Frequently as we have differed in opinion 
 from Dr. Prieftley, we fnould think it an ad 
 of injuftice to his merit, not to fay that the nu- 
 merous and important fervices which he has ren- 
 dered to fcience, and the unequivocal proofs 
 which he has given of, at lead, honefl inten- 
 tions towards the caufe of religion and chridia- 
 nity, ought to have protected him from fuch 
 grofs mfults as are poured on him in this pam- 
 phlet. Of the author's literary talents, we Jhall fay 
 
 but little the phrafes " fetting down to count 
 
 B 
 
XT TO THE READER. 
 
 the coft'' the righfs of man the greatefl bore in 
 future'' and the appellation of rigmarole ramble 
 given to a correct fentence of Dr. Prieftley, 
 which the author attempts to criticife may few e 
 as fpecimens of his language. 9 ' 
 
 " The pitiful attempt at wit in his vulgar rab- 
 ble of the pitcher harranguing the pans andj'^r- 
 dans, will gain him little credit with readers of an 
 elegant tajle No cenfure however, can be too 
 fevere for a writer who fuffers the rancour of 
 party fpirit to carry him fo far beyond the bounds 
 ofju/lice, truth , and decency , as to fpeak of Dr. 
 Prieftley as a man who is an admirer of the maf- 
 facres of France, and who would have wifhed 
 to fee the town of Birmingham, like that of Ly- 
 ons, razed, and all its induflrious and loyal in- 
 habitants butchered : as a man whofe conduct 
 proves that he has either an underflanding lit- 
 tle fuperior to that of an idiot, or the heart of 
 a MARAT, in fhort, as a man who fled into ba- 
 nimment covered with the univerfal deteftation 
 
TO THE READER. 
 
 of his countrymen The fpirit which could diffate 
 fuch OUTRAGEOUS ABUSE, mil ft dif grace any in-, 
 dividual and any party-." 
 
 The opinions of the monthly reviewers are 
 corroborated by fome " Remarks printed in 
 London in 1795" " The fame badfpirit" fays 
 the writer, " which perfecuted Dr. Prieftley at 
 home, produced an infamous and formal attack 
 upon him from the prefs, after his retreat to 
 America ; the title of which was " Obferva- 
 tions on the Emigration of Dr. Jofeph Prieftley, 
 and on the feveral addreffes delivered to him 
 on his arrival in New York" In this piece the 
 writer reprefents Dr. Prieftley as a fire brand, 
 an open and avowed enemy to the conftitutiori 
 of his country, &c. 1 fhall not enter into the 
 quePcion, whether the pamphlet was firil con- 
 ceived and originated in America or England 
 From whatever quarter it ifTued, it is the \vork 
 of a man, who flieweth himfelf void of truth and 
 of every moral principle , if he were an Englijh- 
 
Xil TO THE READER. 
 
 man (and Peter confefies that he is an Englifh- 
 man) and if an American, a grofs and ignorant 
 calumniator" (Thus does the American charac- 
 ter fuffer by the irajh imported from the Queen 
 pflfles). 
 
 " But this libellous pamphlet , which was deftgn- 
 ed to calumniate, did really recommend him, more 
 than a laboured panegyric on his character could 
 have done. (What honed man that would not 
 think himfelf honored by the abufe of Peter 
 Porcupine) For the Americans were not wholly 
 ignorant (what civilized country in the world 
 is ignorant) of his writings, and of his being 
 one of the firfl philofophers of the age, and an 
 eminent defender of the true religion." 
 
 There cannot be a doubt that there exifts a 
 difpofitiori in certain characters in the United 
 States to aflimilate our government to that of 
 Great Britain Monarchy is the idol of thefe 
 men, and republicanifm of courfe, their abhor- 
 
TO THE READER. Xlll 
 
 rence and hence the feveral attempts to eftab- 
 lifh a monarchy inftead of a republic, and hence 
 the propagation of every circumftance with infi- 
 nite induflry, which will add a luftre to mo- 
 narchy and cad a fhade over republicanifm 
 The writings of Peter Porcupine, as far as his 
 capacity extends, go to this point, and hence 
 the patronage which he has received from cer- 
 tain characters in our Country, fuch for exam- 
 ple as his miferable flatterer in the Centine! 
 To alienate this country from the Republic 
 of France is the firfl flep towards this their fa- 
 vourite object, and hence the dark picture 
 which has been held up of the men and the 
 meafures of the Revolution; hence the alTertion 
 that the treaty with France is no longer binding. 
 To facilitate their views k is neceffary that 
 fome of the worthiefl and bed men in the U. S. 
 Ihould be rendered obnoxious, that their popu- 
 larity mould be deftroyed, hence the i r curriiity 
 agaiatl ferns of the leading republican charge- 
 
TO THE READER. 
 
 
 
 ters All however will not be fecure until the 
 late Revolution which gave independence and 
 republican! fm to our country can be brought 
 into difgrace, until funfhine patriots, old to- 
 ries, and profcribed traitors (hall have fuperfe- 
 ded the patriots of 76 ; hence the traduclion of 
 Dr. Franklin, Mr. Paine and others If the a- 
 gents of the Revolution can be covered with op- 
 probrium, the Revolution itfelf will be implica- 
 ted ; for when the props are knocked away the 
 fabric mutt fall This is an epitome of the de- 
 figns of a Britifh faction among us. 
 
 It is incumbent on the people to keep a look 
 out. " There is nothing," faid Doctor Price, 
 " that requires more to be watched than pow- 
 er ; there is nothing that ought to be oppofed 
 with more determined refolution than its en- 
 croachments." " Sleep in a ftate," faid Mon- 
 tefquieu, " is always followed by flavery," 
 We fliall not be the fir ft nation that has been 
 undone by fupinenefs, and by the idea that there 
 
TO THE READER. XV 
 
 is no danger When fuch men as Peter Porcu- 
 pine are patronized among us, who will fay 
 there is no caufe for fufpicion ? Let the reader 
 examine his works and make his own ccnclu- 
 fions For my own part, I am as folemrily irn- 
 prefled with the belief, that there is a deliberate 
 defign to filch the people of this country of 
 their liberties, as I am of the exigence of a dei- 
 ty Would to God I were miftaken ! but cir- 
 cumftances, imperious circuinftances carry to 
 my mind " conviction ftrong as proofs of holy 
 writ" My feelings are tremblingly alive for 
 my Country's happinefs, and altho' I had but a 
 final! fhare in the achievement of our indepen- 
 dence, my own and the liberties of my country 
 are dear very dear to me and I feel and could 
 exclaim with the poet, 
 
 " Is there not fome chofen curfe, 
 
 " Some hidden thunder in the (tores of Heav'n, 
 P.ed with uncommon wrath, to blaft the men 
 Who owe their greatnefs to their country's ruin r" 
 
 The reader will believe me, I truft, when I 
 allure him, that the following remarks were 
 
XVI TO THE READER* 
 
 written in great hade that no attention was 
 paid to flile, and if any inaccuracies occur, this 
 may ferve as an apology My object is not like 
 that of Peter Porcupine, to deceive I do not 
 write pourfaim, and therefore I mall be entitled 
 to" more credit. 
 
 I have never felt the "vinegar mixed with gall" 
 of Peter Porcupine, or perhaps I fhould have 
 purfued a different mode from fome gentlemen 
 with whom he has taken unpardonable liberties- 
 I mean not to influence Mr. Swanwick, or to 
 fubftitute my opinion to his ; but I folemnly a- 
 ver, that had fuch indecent and unjuftifiable 
 freedoms been taken with me, I would have 
 anfwered them as the French gentleman did 
 the abufe of h'is nation, with a horfe whip 
 It would be a degradation of any man of honor 
 to apply this argument himfelf ; but if there 
 was a negroe or fcavcngcr to be had at the ex- 
 pence of half my fortune, it mould have been 
 ufed Men accuftomed to have their bare backs 
 
TO THE READER, XVli 
 
 tickled with a cat o'nine tails, would not, per- 
 haps, whine much at the application of a horfe 
 whip ; but mufhroom importance poffeffes at 
 times a diflempered fenfibility which makes it 
 alive to circumftances, that would previoufly 
 have been difregarded When a villain tranf- 
 greffes the laws, he is punifhed Argument to 
 him of his crime, would be like blowing againft 
 a North Weft wind Society has ordered this 
 matter better, punifhment is the argument and 
 it fpeaks with conviction It would be equally^ 
 ufelefs to reafon with a man without a fenfe of 
 decency j being analogous in his feelings with 
 a rogue, no argument fo fuitable and fo much 
 ad hominem as the argumentum bacculinum. 
 
 THE AUTHOR. 
 
 PHILADELPHIA, Allgllft 2.6, 1796. 
 
T H 
 
 IMPOSTOR DETECTED, 
 
 T. 
 HE Scare Crow commences with a letter 
 faid to be written to John Olden, the landlord of 
 this man This letter bears the genuine like- 
 nefs of Peter Let any one compare it with his 
 tifual ftile, his delicacy and his elegance and 
 chaftity of manner, and it will fatisfy him that 
 the parent is the fame The orthography, it will 
 be feen, was ftudioufly rendered bad, the more 
 readily to conceal the author; but there is no one 
 of ordinary judgment who will not at a glance 
 difcover that the writer of the letter was not 
 ignorant of common orthography, whatever 
 might be his moral deficiencies, or his inability 
 in chafte and correct compofition The trick 
 was too palpable to deceive any but the moft 
 credulous and the weakeft of the weak It 
 may be afked what object the creature could 
 have in view in forging fuch a letter ? This is 
 pretty obvious It was nothing lefs than to 
 make himfelf appear of confequence to his 
 employer and to the fa&ion who countenanced 
 
him and to fqueeze a little more juice out of the 
 orange If he could perfuade them that he was 
 menaced and in danger, their exertions would 
 be increafed in his favour, and thus the flream 
 would receive more fupplies The violence of 
 the letter is another lirong evidence of the 
 truth of my affertion No man is fo loud as a 
 coward no one declaims in favour of ho- 
 nefty more than a rogue and no man fo out- 
 rageous as the one who wifhes to mafque his 
 defigns. The more virulent, therefore, the letter 
 the greater the chance of concealment, and the 
 greater the prefumption of extracting the need- 
 ful We have no evidence againft this belief 
 but his own aflertion, and this of all evidences 
 is the worft, taking it even upon the common 
 credibility of teitimony as received in a court of 
 juftice No man is to be admitted an evidence 
 in his own caufe, and furely this man would not 
 expect, that his name would ftamp a value up- 
 on his ulTertions, when made in his own behalf. 
 Zanga fays, " guilt begun rnuft fly to guilt 
 confummate to be faved/' now as there is iome 
 ilmiiitude of character, and as Peter has fabri- 
 cated a letter, he rnufl tell a lie to fave himfelf. 
 This indeed is not very difficult for him ; for 
 he can with as much eafefay that he is not the 
 author of that letter, as he could aifert that he 
 had attended Chrift Church for thirty years, or 
 that he owed no taxes Falfhood is his fort, 
 and in this he is rather more dextrous than he 
 was in his nofturnal peregrinations. 
 
 To obviate the imputation of his being the 
 author of the " cut throat letter" he paries- 
 bis word that he was not the writer Convinc- 
 ing teftimony this indeed ! The reafons he ad- 
 duces why be could not be the author are a* 
 
t 21 J 
 
 frivolous as could be adduced, and fubftantiate 
 his being the author, as conclufively as any cir- 
 cumftantial evidence could do He talks of the 
 rifque he would run of detection at this time ? 
 Why at this time? Has he not been " congra- 
 tulated on his triumph over the once towering 
 but fallen and defpicable faction?" Surely then he 
 had nothing to apprehend from a fallen faction ! 
 What rifque ? Has he any reputation to lofe ? 
 This he certainly muft have left flicking to the 
 poft Did he dread the vengeance of the citi- 
 zens of Philadelphia ? A people who have (hewn 
 fo much forbearance in permitting the refufe of 
 Old England to mangle the men of the revolu- 
 tion at his pleafure, would not have been ex- 
 cited to violence, by finding fuch a fellow to be 
 a forger of letters as well as a fugitive from juf- 
 tice and a liar Had he written it himfelf " there 
 would have been his hand writing againfl him" 
 -A wife reafon this truly \ As if a man who 
 could forge letters^ and do other flight cf hand 
 tricks, could no.t counterfeit a hand writing for 
 the purpofe " Had he employed another 
 he might have betrayed him" His old friend 
 Beelzebub furely muft have left him in the 
 lurch, or he never would have advanced rea- 
 fons fo fuperlatively awkward as thefe Pray- 
 how long was he the writer of Peter Porcupine 
 without being known ? He muft have found 
 congenial fouls, or the fecret would not have 
 b^en referved for himfelfto difclofe Could 'not 
 the foreign agent who employs him, or a number 
 of others of the fiime political ftamp, have fur- 
 nifhed an ainanuenfis for him ? Verily Peter thy 
 friend old nick is withdrawing his craft from 
 thee ! ! ! He defies any one to produce an in- 
 fiance of his traduction of the people of the U. S. 
 
A liar as well as a rogue ought to have a 
 good memory -Peter boarts of the goodnefs of 
 his ; but on certain occafions it is very treache- 
 rous In his "Little Plain Englifh" we find the 
 following delicate opinion of the people of this 
 Country " When once the lower orders of the 
 people, thofe who have nothing, begin to give 
 law to thofe who have fomething, a ftate of an- 
 archy is at no great diftance" Did this ruffian 
 ever read the Conflitution of the U. S. ? He 
 certainly did not, or he never would have clafT- 
 ed the freemen of the U. S. into orders Where 
 are the lower orders of the people among us ? Is it 
 not traducing the people to lligmatize any of 
 them as lower orders ? Is it not a libel upon our 
 Conftitution to defignate any citizens as a lower 
 order ? If we have lower orders among us, 
 this fugitive is certainly one of them ; for he 
 confeffes himfelf that he has nothing, or that 
 he "had nothing about the time he wrote that 
 pamphlet How dare he who has nothing, ac- 
 cording to his own confeflion, meddle in our 
 political controverfies ? If money is to be the 
 flandard of merit or of citizenfhip, Peter will 
 have very little claim to either, unlefs indeed his 
 fubfidy is more liberal, than his grade or talents 
 entitle him to. 
 
 He tells us that he has " received letters 
 of thanks and congratulation from every quar- 
 ter of the Union, even. from Richmond in Vir- 
 ginia." Where is the evidence of this? Peter's 
 word ! ! ! Would any man of common probity 
 take his word after his detection in falfhood, 
 and when he knows, that his " works" as he 
 ludieroufly enough ftiles his belchings, are a 
 continued drain of rancourous abufe of the al- 
 lies of the United States, the Republicans of 
 
C 23 ] 
 
 France ? If he has received letters of thanks at 
 all (which is almoft too queflionable to make 
 an if about) they mud have come from Briiiih 
 emiflaries, or enemies to _pur, re volution ; for 
 no friend to the revolution would thank him. 
 for vilifying thofe who were inftru mental in 
 its profperous iffue -This aiTertion carries falf- 
 hood upon the face of it How could he receive' 
 letters of thanks when he was unknown ? It is a 
 well known faft, that till he took a confpicu- 
 ous ftand as a bookfeiler, the people of this 
 City, much lefs.thofe at diftance, knew not 
 v/hether he was an highwayman, or a burglar, an 
 aurang-outang, or an Hottentot He tells us 
 himfelf that the difcovery of the author of Pe- 
 ter Porcupine was refer ved for the month of 
 June 1796. To whom then were the letters of 
 thanks directed ? To an anonymous writer ? A 
 man unknown This is too fanciful to be be- 
 lieved now the days of chivalry are paft. To 
 thofe who know the perfonal feelings of the man 
 it will appear the .extremeft hyperbole ; for till 
 very lately he was agonized at the idea of being 
 difcovered His fears have not yet forfaken 
 him, altho' he had demonitration enough, that 
 " the dregs of mankind" " the populace" feel 
 too much contempt for him to make him keep 
 clofe houfe He tells us further that he has " re- 
 ceived offers of fervice from perfons of the fir ft 
 confequence in divers towns and countries, per- 
 fons whom he never faw or heard of previous 
 to their communications" We have not heard 
 lately of any gangs in the United States, and 
 we Ihould be indebted to Peter Porcupine to 
 make the communications public, that the per- 
 fons and property of the citizens might be fe- 
 cured Secret communications of this fort are 
 
E 24 ] 
 
 no doubt made from men of the fame complex- 
 ion to each other, and thus far credit may be gi- 
 ven to his ^precious confejfions" A BAGSHOT 
 may be wanting to encourage timid fpirits, and 
 a Britifh Corporal, therefore, might be fuppofed 
 to poflefs qualities to entitle him to " offers of 
 
 fervice"-**'What a pity his confcience does riot 
 prick him, that he might turn State evidence ! 
 '< " Let any fawning fcribbier en liberty and 
 equality produce fuch tcjlimony if he can" It is to 
 their honor indeed that they cannot, 
 
 <c Again the cut throat fays I have grofsly 
 abufed our allies the French This is falfe 5y 
 the 'Treaty made between this country and the 
 King of "France, the French nation is, in my opinion 
 no more the ally of the U. S. than the Chinefe are" 
 Here is an opinion that founds well in the 
 inouth of a Brttijh Corporal, and a friend to the 
 
 federal government and the Prefident of the U. S. 
 The government has declared that treaty to be 
 binding upon the U. S. but Peter Porcupine 
 fays the French nation is no more the ally of the 
 U. S. than the Chinefe ate ! Here we mud be 
 at a lofs which to be aftortifhed at mod, his ex- 
 treme impudence, or his extreme profligacy, 
 
 . This fellow has abufed the citizens of the Unit- 
 ed States for their oppofitlon to the meafures of 
 the adminiftration, and yet he has the audacity 
 to come forward and libel this adminiftration 
 himfelf, by giving a direct He to their decifion ; 
 Where was Peter during the American revolu- 
 tion ? Perhaps in the Britifli army fighting 
 againfl America and her allies Is it to be won- 
 dered at then, that he could declare an inftru- 
 ment invalid, made with a nation, who aided 
 us in fupporting our Independence ? He would 
 no doubt exterminate that nation as well as the 
 
C *s ] 
 
 Treaty, -for having embarked in the caufe oi 
 -American Independence. This is the rub 
 -His object appears to be to write down all thofe 
 men who aided in rendering us independent, 
 not at prefent in the views of the Britim Court, 
 and to bring the Revolution itfeH into difgrace. 
 Hence his abufe of Franklin and of Paine y and 
 hence his inveteracy againft the Republicans of 
 France. It is very obvious, from this declara- 
 tion, that he would involve us in a war with 
 France, to morrow, if he could, and yet he 
 vaunts of his attachment to our Country and 
 ,to our Constitution ! 
 
 Who authorized a Brltijh Corporal to pro- 
 nounce upon our national compacts ? Is this 
 effrontery grateful to Americans ? Whatever 
 may be the political mode of thinking of an 
 American, can he relifh fuch prefumption ? Has 
 the Prefiuent authorized him to judge of our na- 
 tional engagements in his abfcnce, that he is 
 thus tree in his decifions ? Let this King-bird 
 cackle the praifes of Louis and his "calumniat- 
 ed Antoinette" till he is out of breath, it would 
 be belittleing an American citizen to inteifere 
 in his induigencies ; but let his cacklmgs be 
 confined to the eulogies of kings and queens, 
 and not extend to American treaties. I am 
 willing the perfidies of Louis, and the debau- 
 cheries of Antoinette ihould be buried with 
 them, and it illy becomes a Br itifh foldier, who 
 woufd have exterminated them both before the 
 Revolution, now to come forward as their cham- 
 pion Nothing, however, is too abject and - o 
 abfurd for Peter Porcupine. Of his " calumniated 
 Antoinette, the queen of France," Belfham in 
 his reign, of George the third gives the follow- 
 D 
 
L 26 ] 
 
 ing charatfer," " Diffblule in her manners, un- 
 principled in h:r morals', faithlefs in her promifcs 9 
 this Prineeis wanted only the talents of her pre- 
 deceffor Catherine of Medicis, to be as illu-ftri- 
 ouilv diflliiguifhcd for guilt." Who \vill not he 
 extol and who will not he abufe next ! I ihould 
 not be furprized to find an eulogium upon 
 BLACKBEARD, the celebrated pi-rate, iffuing 
 from the prefs of Peter Porcupine. 
 
 PETER fays that " his works are almofl the only 
 works in the United States ;" what a blefled ef- 
 fect of our penal code! Since the reformation 
 cf our penal laws Peter Porcupine's works have 
 become the only works in the United States ! 
 It is unneceffary to travel to the dominions of 
 Tufcany for evidence of the good effects of the 
 mildnefs but certainty of punifhment ; for 
 Pennfylvania affords an illuflrious example 
 Here none but the works of Peter Porcupine are 
 to be found ! It is to be hoped, that ere long, 
 even his labours will be transferred along fi>Je of 
 others of a like defcription within the peniten- 
 tiary enclofure It appears that even in his be- 
 loved Mother Country, his works turned out 
 to as little account as his firft fale of Peter Por- 
 cupine, unlefs indeed the vis a tergo could be 
 viewed as an advantage In France his evil ge- 
 nius again purfued him ; for even in that land 
 of " cut-throats" the works of Peter produced 
 cacfe for repentance. 
 
 The abufive and contemptuous manner in 
 which this reptile fpeaks of Doctor Franklin 
 ought certainly to excite attention It is a key 
 \vhich will unlock the whole fecret of his em- 
 ployment ic Poor Richard and old light nin* rod" 
 thcfe are the epithets applied by a Britifh 
 EmiiTary to the parent of American liberty I ! 
 
C =7' ]. 
 
 Even his ftatne does not efcape him ; for he 
 fays he i; deferves to be tumbled from his nich," 
 and this too for the warm tcflimony which he 
 has left behind him in favour of GEORGE 
 WASHINGTON!! It has already been re- 
 marked by a writer, that Peter would vilify the 
 Prudent, as much as he does Doctor Franklin, 
 did not prudential motives reflrain him, and 
 this oblique faroafm on thePrefident is as much 
 a proof of this difpofitionas hedifcovered, when 
 hefpoke of his official letters, written durirrgjthe 
 war On being afked by a gentleman, for tlte. 
 official letters of General Wamington he hand- 
 ed him a fcurvy edition of them The perfon 
 who wifhed to make the purchafe remarked, 
 that the binding of the books was bad He 
 replied with an air of fovereign contempt, that 
 // was like ibc matter it contained ! Let the peo- 
 ple judge from this fample what the fellow would 
 do, if he were not retrained by confiderations 
 of another kind than refpecl. If the people of 
 the United States can tolerate the abufe of a 
 Britijh Corporal, lavifhed upon one of their fir ft 
 and tried patriots, who ferved them long -.md 
 faithfully, their revolutionary virtues mult be 
 in the wane If they can countenance fuch a 
 man, as he anerts they do, we need no further 
 leftirnony that they are weary of their Indepen- 
 dence, ancl confider their Republicanifm as a 
 curfe He fcruples not to direct his little r.; 
 againft the revolution and againft republican 
 and the man who can countenance fuch ei~. 
 mud be a foe to both. The Congrefs of the 
 United States decreed honors to Frank! in by 
 wearing njourhiug for him after his death the 
 National Allenibiy of France, in the time of 
 rater's beloved Louis, mourned for the Icfs of 
 
C i* 3 
 
 this philofopher and patriot, and conveyed their 
 fympathy in a letter of condolence to Congiefs ; 
 the American Philofophical Society paid a tri- 
 bute to his memory by appointing one of their 
 Members, Doctor Smith, to pronounce an eu- 
 logium upon him even Mr. BINGHAM, who 
 Peter himfelf ftiles " one of the worthieft men 
 in the country," erected a flatue to him, and 
 yet this is the character, whom he has fele&ed 
 for his Billingfgate abufe ! ! This is " Poor 
 Richard that angels are carrying God knows 
 where" This is "Old Lightning Rod"!! 
 This is the ' whore 1 matter, hypocrite and in- 
 fidel" This is the man who " cl eated the poor 
 during his life, and mocked them in his death*' ! 
 His virulence againft Doctor Prieftley is eafily 
 to be accounted for Doctor Prieftley is .the 
 friend of a free government, and this is enough 
 to make him an object of Peter's abufe The 
 Doctor's character is irreproachable, and his 
 literary reputation equal to any philofopher's of 
 thj prefent day. A man who would find fault 
 with him would find fpots in the fun, and yet 
 Doctor Prieftley has had the honor of receiving 
 the mo ft filthy abufe from Peter Porcupine 
 and why ? becaufe he is not the devofed tool 
 of the Britifh Government ; becaufe he dared 
 to tn ink as a Republican ; becaufe he is a man 
 of icience and liberality who has embarked in 
 favour of the rights of man ; becaufe he pof- 
 fefles an enlightened and benevolent mind, de- 
 vote.1 to the caufe of human nature. Thefe are 
 ample reafons for the "vinegar and gall" oi a 
 Brilijh Corporal. 
 
 The aflertion which Peter made ; that he ow- 
 ed "neither the State nor the people of the 
 State a farthing" is an errant falfhood ; for 
 
C *9 ] 
 
 proof can be made, that at the time be trade the 
 declaration^ he owed the county of Philadelphia 
 two dollars and ten cents taxes 1 he col It dor, 
 CAPTAIN WcnLPi-K/r, demanded pay mentor* 
 that time, and not daring now to refufe, he 
 paid his taxes [,er him dciiy this if he dare 
 Callous and abandoned as he may be, his ef- 
 frontery is not equal to it, and why ? Becr.ufe 
 he knows the proof is not on the other fide the 
 Atlantic. 
 
 The life and adventures of Peter Porcupine, 
 begin \vith his hiitory as publifbed in the Au- 
 rora, by a wiiter who {tiled himfelf "Paul 
 hog' r lhis relation he flatly denies, and 
 endeavours to fupport the denial by an epitcins 
 of his life, written by bimfdf, a certificate from 
 Edward Fitzgerald, and a copy of the orders 
 iifued in the garrifon of Portfmouth, on the 
 cay of his difcharge. As ro his own afiertions 
 in his own favour, it has been already (hewn 
 how much credit is due to them A man, con- 
 victed of a lie, as he has been, can expect little 
 charity afterwards, and a forger of letters 
 can eafily turn forger of certificates of recom- 
 mendation. The account of him given by 
 * ; PAUL HEDGEHOG," has the appearance of 
 truth about it, and is corroborated by Peter's 
 own account of himfelf: He tells us thai his fa- 
 ther, and grandfather were poor men ; fuch 
 was the poverty of his parents, that they could 
 not ailbrd to give him a common education. 
 He ran away from his father and enlilted as a 
 common foldier in the 54th regiment of foot, 
 when, after ferving a number of years, he v/as 
 difcharged Some time after his difcharge he 
 embarked for France : Where did he get mo- 
 ney to pay his pafiage ? It will be remembered 
 
C 3 3 
 
 that by his own account he was advanced no 
 higher than a Corporal in the Britifh army. 
 This promotion took place before he embarked 
 for America where he remained till September 
 1791 " but a Corporal" In September the regi- 
 ment to which he belonged was fent home ; 
 he landed at Portfmouth on the third of No- 
 vember, and on the nineteenth of December he 
 obtained his difcharge After his difcharge it 
 feems he was made a Sergeant Major, for he 
 Cells us nothing about this promotion, till he is 
 about introducing the certificate of Edward 
 Fitzgerald While he was in " this new world 
 he was but a corporal" and from the time of his 
 arrival in England to the day of his difcharge, 
 forty-fix days only elapfed. Is it prefumeable that 
 during fo ihort a time he was advanced from a 
 Corporal to a Sergeant Major ? Rapid promo- 
 tions fometimes take place during a war ; but 
 in time of peace the Britifli army is not known 
 for the rapidity of promotion, particularly when 
 there is nothing but poverty as the recommen- 
 dation. He does not tell us where, and at what 
 lime, he was promoted to a Sergeant Major ; 
 nay, he does not even breathe that he ever was 
 made a Sergeant, and it is not very common to 
 make Corporals Sergeant Majors over the heads 
 of Sergeants. The ftory and the certificate, from 
 his own narration, muft be fuppofed a fabrica- 
 tion, a little like the letter fent to John Oldden, 
 and a little like the ilory of the taxes. As the 
 emoluments of a Corporal in the Britifh Army 
 -are not very great, and as he confeffes that 
 fome of his wages were appropriated towards 
 obtaining books from a circulating library, 
 whence did he derive money to pay his pafTage 
 to France ? Where did he get money to pay 
 
"[ 3 
 
 his board during the fix months he remained in 
 France ? He does not inform us how he main- 
 tained bimfelf in France, and it is prefumeable 
 that his earnings in the Britifh Army were not 
 fufficient ; how then can \ve ditcredit the rela- 
 tion of Paul Hedgehog ? From what fund did 
 he draw his paifage money for coming to Ame- 
 rica ? We cannot fuppofe that he obtained a 
 pafiage to this country gratis ; from whence 
 then was this money derived ? There is ibme- 
 thing very dark about all this Peter, which ar- 
 gues very ftrongly in favour of Paul Hedgehog. 
 A man could not live three months in En- 
 gland, the period of time between his difcharge 
 and departure, go from thence to France, tra- 
 vel many miles in that country, live there fix 
 months, and finally come over to America, up- 
 on nothing And yet Peter did all this, and con- 
 fefles he was poor, and nothing more than a 
 Corporal in the Britifn army. Tales like thefe 
 may pafs down fuch throats as Johnny Bull's, 
 but Americans have not fo large a fwallow 
 they are not like Shakefpear's black fmith, open 
 mouthed and ready " to devour a Corporal's 
 news." 
 
 Peter tells us a cock and a bull ftory about his 
 father's penchant for the American Revolution, 
 from which I fuppofe he means to derive credit 
 to himfelf ; but this llory is hit own, and has not 
 fufficient marks of authenticity to prove that he 
 was not nurfed in the lap of ariftocracy. "A liar is 
 not to be believed though he fpeaks the truth" is 
 an old adage, andasPeterhaseftablifned a reputa- 
 tion which will bear the application of the adage, 
 he mult not c; drench me with vinegar mixed 
 with gall" if I cttfcredit him indeed I am en- 
 "titled to his forgivenefs \ for he fays himfelf, 
 
[ V 3 
 
 that v * as to politics, we were like the red of the 
 country people in England ; that is to fay, we 
 neither knew nor thought any thing about the mat- 
 ter" and yet he tells us his father was ci fo 
 Haunch an American, that he would not have 
 fuffered" his belt friends to drink fuccefs to the 
 king's arms at his table" ! ! ! This. to be fure is a 
 good one, but this is nothing for Peter. His 
 father mud have been as much interefied in the 
 American Revolution as Peter is in the caufe of 
 Republicanifm ; as his father " neither knew nor 
 thought any thing about 1 ' the one, he neither 
 knows nor thinks any thing about the other, and 
 thus far he may be fuid to be a chip of the old 
 block. It fhall not be my talk to rake up the 
 afhes of his " honoured and beloved parent," 
 that he ran away from, and treated with the 
 -groffeft difobedience and difrefpecl. "De mortuis 
 nil nifi bonum" (hall be my maxim, although he, 
 with the malignity of an aflaffin, defcends into 
 the conftcrated tomb, and feeds upon the dead 
 with the voracity of a tiger. 
 
 Peter " hopes, that he may prefume his cha- 
 racter will be looked upon as good down to the 
 date of his difcharge. This is preemption, in- 
 deed, after what has pafled. If he had inferted 
 Corporal, inftead of Sergeant Major in the certifi- 
 cate and the orders, and if he had given an ac- 
 count how he maintained himfelf in Eng'anl 
 and France after his difcharge, there would have 
 been a better foundation for his prefumption ; 
 but, at prefent, it (lands upon very flippery 
 ground. His travels and voyages without money ', 
 and his promotion to the rank of a Sergeant Ma- 
 jor after he was difcharged, may make the world 
 prefume that Paul Hedgehog 'ha* looked ir-on 
 him with an accurate eye, lie thinks it " not 
 
[ 33 ] 
 
 neccffan to fay how the three months were employed" 
 in England, after hi. difcharge, we are, there- 
 fore, at full liberty to draw our own conciu- 
 iions, as he is either afraid or afhamed to give 
 an account of himfelf. He will not fpeak for 
 himfelf, and therefore, Paul Hedgehog mud 
 fpeak for him 
 
 " Peter (land forth, T dare thee to be tried, 
 
 *' In that great court where confidence mull prefide." 
 
 Infpeaking of PAINF, the author of Common 
 Senfe, the Crifes, the letters to Howe, &c, writ- 
 ten during the American Revolution, hefpeaks 
 of a " Run-away^ a Ihief^ a Tom Paine," Why 
 fuch impotent and fcavenger like abufe cf Mr. 
 Paine? There is nothing in his hl'lory or cha- 
 racter which renders him a fit object of fuch 
 miferable fcurrility. Whence then this "vi- 
 negar mixed with gall" as Peter terms it ; but 
 which I fhould term Switie's Jwfit mixed v/ith 
 jlujk. Paine diftinguiihed himfelf during the 
 American Revolution. Such was his acknow- 
 ledged indrumentality in accomplishing our In- 
 dependence, that feveral of the States compli- 
 mented him with tracts of "land. His zeal was 
 great and he was able and indefatigable in his 
 means. To have been an American Patriot is 
 fufficient to draw down the ire of a Britifh Cor- 
 poral. But this is not all. Paine wrote the 
 Rights of Man, a work of great merit. This 
 work was read with an avidity in England, that 
 made old defpotifm tremble. The miniftry 
 thought the author ought to be filenced, and 
 commenced a profecution againft him. Now 
 the iecret is out. Peter dare not eat the bread 
 of idlenefs. He mud give fatisfaction to his 
 employers, and if he can difcredit Paine, it will 
 
 E 
 
[ 34 ] 
 
 anfwer a better purpofe than a profecution. He 
 may then write, but nobody will read, and the 
 miniflry will be revenged. Is not this true, Pe- 
 ter ? You may boali: of your Republicanifm as 
 you do of your honeily ; but it won't do, the 
 people can fee your long ears peeping out of the 
 lion's (kin. 
 
 Peter fojourned fix months in France, and 
 he acknowledges, that he " met every where 
 with civility, and even hofpitality in a degree 
 that he had never been accuflomed to." Un- 
 grateful wretch ! To iligmatize a nation as 
 " cut throats and robbers*' that treated you fo 
 kindly ! What muft the citizens of the United 
 States fuppofe of this man after fuch a confef- 
 Hon ! The principles and feelings which actuate 
 him are no longer concealed ; like JUDAS he 
 would betray his mafler for thirty pieces ofji/ver.. 
 He denies that he ever fpoke difrefpedfully of 
 the people of the United States ^ but who will- 
 believe this aflertion, or indeed any a-lTertion he 
 could make, after his abandoned tradudion of 
 the French People, who every where treated 
 him with civility and hofpitality in a degree 
 that he had never been accuftomed to ? As a 
 reward for their civility and hofpitality, Peter 
 ferves up this fame people with the mofl rancor- 
 ous abufe, the mofl contumelious epithets, 
 and exerts the talents and proftitution of a Ju- 
 das to cover them with opprobrium and guilt ! 
 Such a wretch would " thrufl his faviour from 
 the wall." What may not the people of Ame- 
 rica expedt when he again returns to his native 
 Ihore ! 
 
 Peter infmuates that he " had imbibed prin- 
 ciples of Republicanifm" and that thefe princi- 
 
r 35 3 
 
 pies drove him to America. Shakefpeare fays 
 <c the Devil himfelf can cite fcripture for his 
 purpofes," and may not Peter profefs Republi- 
 canifm for his ? Let us examine into his repub- 
 lican principles, and \ve mail find, that like 
 his integrity, they are vox et preterea nihil. 
 In fpeaking of the people of France, he kC ven- 
 tures to predict, that fooner or later, ibty will re- 
 turn to that form of Government undsr which they 
 *were happy, and under which alone they can ever 
 fafoagain" What a republican fentiment ! The 
 people of France can be happy only under a ctef- 
 potifm ! Peter no doubt thinks the people of 
 this Country can be happy only under that form 
 of Government from which they revolted ; 
 but as he is in America, and has certain pur- 
 pofes to anfwer, he has not yet blundered out 
 this opinion. But what kind of a Republican 
 mud he be, who is of opinion, that a nation 
 can only be happy under a defpotifm under a 
 government of Baftiles and lettres de cachets ? 
 Peter has annexed fonie new definition to the 
 term, which we do not underftand here; to 
 comprehend his meaning, therefore, we muft 
 refort to the context of his- works, and then we 
 ihall difcover, that his principles of Republican- 
 ifm will fuit Algiers, or Morocco, Rufiia, or 
 Turkey. What a let of accommodating princi- 
 ples for a fpy ! What a comfortable Gullibility 
 for a diplomatic fcavenger ! His uniform fneers 
 at the " fovereign people" as he in derifion terms 
 them; the courteous terms of " dregs, mob, 
 lower orders, &c. which he in lavifh bounty be- 
 ftows upon the citizens of the United States, 
 fpeak loudly in favour of his having "imbibed 
 Republican principles" ! ! ! 
 
C 36 ] 
 
 Peter fays he " never was at Paris, as be can 
 prove by the receipts for his board and lodg- 
 ing." This is admirable proof indeed! His own 
 word that he was not there, and if his own word 
 will not do, he can produce receipts ready cut 
 and dry for the.purpofe. Peter can prove that 
 jhe was kmbafiavlQr to the grand Signior by the 
 fame ;: ! ie; for as he has the nack of manufac- 
 turing; proofs, he never can be at a lofs. He 
 hire^ a coach to go there, and pray where did 
 ht get the money frorn to pay for it? His pay as 
 a Corporal in the Britifh army certainly did not 
 furnifh him with the means to hire coaches. 
 He is very in lulgent to his readers; for he leaves 
 them to fupply the chafms which dire neceffity 
 obliged him to make in the hiftory of his life and 
 ad-ventures. This is very kind in him ; for they 
 may have an occasional confutation with Peter's 
 acquaintance Paul Hedgehog, who feems f ally 
 competent to fill the niches. 
 
 And now for the letter from Mr. Jefferfon, 
 and what does this prove? That his benevo- 
 lence would have led him to take a viper into 
 his boforn, which, when warmed by his heat, 
 would have flung him to death. 1 congratulate 
 Mr. JeiFerfon on his fortunate efcape. His pro- 
 perty and perlbn have both had an efcape. The 
 man who would difgorge fuch venom againft a 
 people, who "treated him with civility andhof- 
 pitatity in a degree that he had never been ac- 
 cudomed to," would have ftuck his fangs into 
 Mr. j fferfon the moment opportunity oifered ; 
 with fuch a man honor is but a name, and honefty 
 n bubble. An American conful has lately been 
 bufily employed in giving parTports for France 
 to Brltijh emiffaries^ and is it inconceivable that 
 an American agent might have been found in 
 
C 37 3 
 
 Holland equally in the Britifh intereft, I will not 
 arraign Mr. SHORT'S motives. I could wilh, 
 however, the man he recommended did not ren- 
 der them fufpicious. 
 
 Peter has now brought himfelf to the United 
 States, and here let us attend him, it will be rare 
 iport; for on the threshold he mows his cloven 
 foot. Dr.Prieftley is again his mark " His land- 
 ing was nothing to me, fays Peter, nor to any 
 body elfe ; but the fulfome, confequential ad- 
 dreiTes, fent him by the pretended patriots, and 
 his canting replies, at ance calculated to flatter the 
 people here, and to degrade his country and mine, 
 was fomething to me." It has been remarked 
 before that Peter is not the friend of " the people 
 here" and here is proof pofitive of it If he 
 " was ambitious to become a citizen of a free 
 flare," what were his objections that the free 
 citizens of that ilate, which he fought as an afy- 
 lurn, mould be flattered ? He thought " that 
 men enjoyed a greater degree of liberty here 
 than in England," why then did he ftill con- 
 fid er England as his country after his arrival 
 here, and after he had made this country his 
 choice ? If the people here were in a preferable 
 ftate, they were entitled to commendation , and 
 it mows a malignity of difpolition to envy it 
 them. If he had forfaken England to take up 
 his refidence here, this was his country, and to 
 call another country his, manifefts his fecret 
 averfion from ours, and proves, that in a collifion 
 between the two, he would a^ain mount his 
 moulder knot in the fervice of ^his king. His 
 gall overflows whenever the people of this coun- 
 try are fpoken of with refpecl, and although he 
 fpmeiKftes affech to diftinguifh between them, it 
 is too obvious that he lumps them together in a 
 
C 38 3 
 
 mafs, as fit objects for his fpleen. To flatter 
 the people here at the expence of John Bull, 
 was treafon in the eftimation of this high prieii: 
 of Moioch, and he would ftretch Dr. Prieftley 
 upon a bed of torture to revenge himfelf for 
 it. This is one among other reafcns that I have 
 already enumerated for his extreme defire t be 
 the executioner of this great and good philofo- 
 pher. Had the people of this country ftill con- 
 tinued under the deipotifm of his mother coun- 
 try Dr. Prieftley would have efcaped his malig- 
 nity for flattering them. 
 
 What had a Britim Corporal to do with ad- 
 drefies to Dr. Prieftley ? Surely he does not 
 mean to fet himfelf up as inquifitor general of the 
 United States, as he has already created him- 
 felf interpreter general of treaties ! If he means to 
 thruft the Prefident out of his duties, he ought 
 in mercy to fpare the people, and at leaft: allow 
 them the privilege of thinking and acting for 
 themfelves in the trifling affair of an addrefs. 
 He talks of the aflumption of Democratic So- 
 cieties ; but really, granting all he fays of them, 
 they have many fteps td.aicend before they 
 reach his height of arrogance and infolence. . 
 
 He feems to feel more againfl Mr. Carey than 
 he dare exprefs. "My lad" cankers his new 
 born confequence ; and if he could get Mr. Carey 
 in a dark and fly corner, I would not anfwer for 
 the confequences. Was Mr. Carey to blame for 
 his contemptuous treatment of him ? Let any 
 man of common difcernment furvey his " red 
 head) his lower ing brow, his /cowling countenance, 
 his brawny figure" and by what other term than 
 " my lad'' could he accofl a wretch who looked 
 like 'jack Ketch? It was a proof of Mr. Carey's 
 penetration, and he deferves credit for it. 
 
I 39 ] 
 
 Becaufe he was called "my lad" " he ivifted for 
 another yellow fever toftrike the City ! ! Gracious 
 God 1 did nature ever produce fuch another 
 Monfter! I have heard of cannibals, gorgons, 
 furies, devils ; but excepting NERO, who fet 
 Rome on fire, and fiddled during the conflpgra- 
 tion, I never met with a character befo/e of (uch 
 coniummate depravity. He lufoed for anotbcr 
 yellow fever io Jlrikc lie City!! Citizens of 
 Philadelphia, Citizens of America lend an at- 
 tentive ear ! This is the man, wibQk philanthropy 
 has brought him forward as a champion of your 
 administration and your Conftitution ! What 
 mud be that adminiftration, or that Conftitution 
 which needs fuch an advocate ! This man, like 
 Eroftratus who fet the temple of Ephefus on fire 
 to give himfelf a name, is determined to become 
 famous for his infamies. He feems to be the 
 very focus of corruption. 
 
 As to his infinuations againft Mr. Bradford, 
 they are merited. When a man will have in- 
 terccurfe with fuch a being as Peter Porcupine, 
 he deferves all that he chufes to fay of him. 
 That Mr. Bradford put a coat en his back cannot 
 admit of a doubt. Peter proves it, and therefore 
 it mufl be true ; and for this coat put upon his 
 back he has endeavoured to put a bliftering 
 plaifter upon Mr. Bradford's. This is his ufual 
 way of requiting his friends. That a whig which 
 Mr. Bradford no doubt was, mould have given 
 countenance to fuch a ruffian, has more than 
 once excited aftonifhment, and now he is reward- 
 ed for his apoftacy,* as well as for the coat he put 
 
 * // is an odd idea^ that fome people poffefs , that a Printer 
 cannot publi/Jj a book or pamphlet, but ke nuift be of thai' 
 feet, party erf act ion and adopt all the different notions pn- 
 
[ 40 1 
 
 on his back, and the bread which he put in his 
 mouth, before the fubfidy commenced. He 
 would have died in a ditch had he not received 
 Mr. Bradford's fupport, or have become charge- 
 able to the parifh. 
 
 mulcted therein, be they ever fo abfurd ; andifanyofthefe 
 "Wife acres fupp&fe (as our author pretends to do) that 
 this fame printer was once of a contrary opinion, though all 
 the proof thsy may have of the C.-'snge, is, that he has 
 printed a book cf a complcxkn, different to the 'dens they 
 would make him entertain, they think they have a right to 
 brand him with the title 0fApoftate, Hater of Britain, 
 or any other epithet their ill nature might dictate Alas / 
 poor printers, hsw often are ye vilified by thefe men of 
 Wifdom ! 
 
 As our author has granted me the liberty of this page, far 
 a note, I ivould beg leave to tell him and his antagonijl Peter, 
 that though I print both their Lucubrations, I flail 
 not be guided by either and that I approve of neither cf their 
 political principles, though could I make them contribute to 
 the good of my Country , or without injury to that, to the 
 emolument ofmyjt'lf, no one would blame me for fo doing 
 That I have made life of the Britijh Corporal Oh! I ajk 
 pardo?i, Sergeant Major -for a good purpofe I have little 
 doubt Dirty Water luill quench fire 
 
 1 cannot omit this opportunity, as perhaps it is the only 
 one I may ever think worth embracing, of thanking our 
 Britifh Corporal for his intended blifler plajfter by his tarly 
 difcovcry to the World, that cf all the Americans he had 
 ever converfed with, ( I fear then Peter thott haft converfed 
 but with few real Americans,) I feem to entertain the 
 greateji degree of rancour againft Great Britain. If Mr. 
 Peter will allow me to foften his acrimonious exprejfion y 
 find fay, thai he hat not met with an American, who more 
 keenly feels the wounds his country has received from Britain, 
 or that is more fenfible of the injuries fte is continually 
 endeavouring to heap on it ; I will agree with him. Though 
 I may not be chrijlian enough to love my enemies, yet I may 
 pray for them, that they may fee the error of their ways, 
 and turn) before it is lev late 
 
[ 41 3 
 
 Let us now examine Peter's account of the 
 products of his work. The whole amount re- 
 ceived from Mr. Bradford was four hundred and 
 three dollars and twenty one cents, and upon this he 
 was to fubfift himfelf and maintain his family 
 from the year 1794, to the year 1796, accord- 
 ing to his own account. Out of this fum he 
 no doubt paid theyz* hundred dollars which he 
 advanced to his prefent ^landlord towards the 
 firft year's rent, furnifhed a book (lore, and 
 certain other etceteras ! ! ! When the profits 
 of his works were fo immenfe, who would fup- 
 pofe him to be a Brittfh Spy, in the pay of a 
 royal matter ? Peter mud excufe me for cate- 
 chifing him a little here. I mufc do it in fpite 
 of his vinegar mixed with gall. Pray out of 
 what fund did you draw the money to pay 
 
 Were my ideas of Englifhmen to be formed from my little 
 acquaintance with this Britiflj Corporal, this Hefted f ample 
 of gratitude, honor , catholicifm, good humour and extreme 
 modejiy, 1 Jhould have little reafon to take any of them to 
 my bofom ; but, thank Providence, among the many Emi- 
 grants he hasfent among us, I have reafon to believe inert 
 are few ofworfe hearts. 
 
 Led any of thefe abufers may Jlill go on with their epi-* 
 thets agfiinjl the Printer of this effay, I would wifh fy 
 mention to them, once for all, and whifpcr it (as you know 
 we mutt befecret) in the ears oj Peter and timothy , that 
 whatever may be their opinion orfarcafras, that as a Citi^ 
 zen, I have a right, and will enjoy my own opinion y and 
 that as A PRINTER I fuall endeavour to maintain the 
 Liberty of the Prefs and thro it the Liberty of my Country, 
 to do which has been the aim and glory of m\felf and prede- 
 cejffbrs for upwards of one hundred years ; and that the Li- 
 berty of the United States of America mavfindasftrenucus 
 advocates in my pofterity, for a thoufand years to csme t is 
 the prayer of the publics well wijher, 
 
 T. BRADFORD. 
 F 
 
r 4* i 
 
 your landlord? Who was your banker whan 
 you furnifhed a booldlore ? You lived in En- 
 gland three months without any acknowledged 
 employment, you paffed over to France, hired 
 coaches in that country, lived there fix months, 
 came over to America, lived here feveral years, 
 paid fix hundred dollars in advance for houfe 
 rent, furnifhed a bookftore, and the only ac- 
 count you give us of your funds for all this, is 
 four hundred and three dollars and twenty one 
 cents ! Riium teneatis amici ! ! .! No ! no ! 
 Peter you never can be in Britifh pay. With 
 fuch refources as yours, it would be abfurd to 
 fuppofe it. 
 
 Peter fays he never faw any Agent of the Bri- 
 tifh Government, excepting Mr. Bond, and 
 him he only faw three times in his life, and 
 then he had bufmefs with him as an interpreter. 
 Thofe who choofe may interpret this as he did 
 the French Treaty. Were the fubject ferioufly 
 at ifTue, I could produce as creditable a citizen 
 as any in Philadelphia to prove that a foreign 
 Agent was feen frequently goiag into his houfe 
 \vhen he lived in Callowhiil Street. What 
 his bufmfs was with him, 1 will leave to him 
 to explain. It would be indecorous to fay, that 
 he had affifted Peter with the fix hundred dol- 
 lars which he advanced towards his rent, and 
 had furnifhed him with the philofopher's ftone 
 to fupply his bookftore, after his pofitive denial 
 that he is not the journeyman of any of his 
 Majefty's Agents. Perhaps it may be the ufual 
 etiquette for his Britannic Majefty's Agents to 
 pay vifits to Corporals, and the vifits which he 
 received may have been only thofe of ceremony. 
 If this be fo, Peter mud admit that it fmells 
 
C 43 3 
 
 ftrongly of equality andfans-cidottifm, indeed too 
 much ib for a man of bis cut to fuhmit to. 
 
 Peter plays the back fword at Mr. Bond \ve 
 imclerftand hiiri, and they, no doubt, under- 
 ftand each other * * * * * 
 
 Ci When a foreign government hires a wri- 
 ter, it takes care that his labours fhall be diftri- 
 buted." Very true Peter, and God knows 
 care enough has been taken to diflribute your 
 labours. My word for it, your labours would 
 not have paiTed beyond the purvieu of a prin- 
 ter's devil, or fome pardoned traitor, or lome 
 hireling of the defender of the faith, or fome 
 temple confecrated to fecret fer vices, if his Ma- 
 jefty's agent had been unmindful of them. 
 
 " Had the Minifter of Great Britain employ- 
 ed me to write," continues Peter, ci can it be 
 fuppofed that he would not furnifh me with the 
 means of living well, without being the retailer 
 of my own works ? Very true Very true ; 
 twelve hundred dollars a year for a houfe, a 
 large book (lore that ftarted up like a mufhroom 
 in a night, a good coat to your back and now 
 and then a gown by way of change, are paltry 
 things indeed. A man of fuch fortune, influ- 
 ence and talents ought to have the Minh'ter's 
 privy purfe at lead at his command. Peter is 
 no fubordinate fellow he would not ferve the 
 King, unlefs he was decorated with all the 
 pomp and fplendor which attended one of his 
 Majefty's Ministers in a late million to China. 
 He poflefies too much military pride, and alrho* 
 he ferved as a Corporal in his Magefty's fervice, 
 it does not follow that he is always to ferve him 
 pour 1'amour du roi What ! Peter Porcupine 
 in the fervice of fo good and ib wife a King, and 
 yet ftand " behind a counter to fell a penknife, 
 
[ 44 1 
 
 or a quire of paper" ! ! ! Why his Majefty 
 would think himfelf difgraced by this ; for he 
 makes it a point to pay all his agents alike, 
 from a minifter plenipotentiary down to a fpy 
 and a fcribbler of pamphlets. There are no grades 
 in his fervice he has no fc&vengerj, and like 
 Minifter's Plenipotentiary, they are all furnifh- 
 cd with the means of living well. Peter's rank 
 in life, his fortune and his importance all 
 prove that he cannot be in Britifh pay, and 
 when to thefe are added his felling a penknife 
 and a quire of paper behind a counter, the thing 
 mud appear impoffible. How could he fell pen- 
 knives and write pamphlets ! How could he fell 
 quires of paper and fcribble on them himfelf! 
 
 Befides his being an Englishmen would pre- 
 vent his being ufeful. This " would operate 
 mightily again ft whatever he might advance, feeing 
 the unconquerable prejudices exi/ling in this Country 
 againft Englifhmen." Surely then he cannot be 
 in Britifh pay. In looking over the Scare Crow 
 we find thefe words <e and becaufe I am wik 
 ling to let flip no opportunity of declaring my 
 refpecl for a public, from whom*thofe perform- 
 ances have ever, from the publication of my 
 fir ft effay to the prefent moment ', met with the mojl 
 liberal encouragement" Again. " I have re- 
 ceived letters of thanks and congratulation from 
 every quarter of the Union, even from Richmond in 
 Virginia^ and not from c Britifh Agents/' but 
 from Native Americans, real lovers of their 
 Country, I have received offers of fervice 
 from perfons of the fir ft confequence in their divers 
 towns and countries, perfons whom I never faw or 
 heard of previous to their communications" 
 And yet Peter avowed himfelf to be an En glifl* 
 man. In his preface to " A Little Plain Ln* 
 
L 45 J 
 
 glifh," we have his own word for his being an 
 Englifhrnan. Let him fpeak for himfeif 
 " I dare fay, the reader has already concluded 
 that the author of Plain Englifh can be no other 
 than an Englifhman ; and I can affure him, the 
 further he advances , the mere will he be confirmed 
 in his opinion. It would be ufelefs io deny the fact. 
 The Democrats have loaded me with every name 
 which they imagine to be opprobrious (but of 
 which I am very proud) fuch for example, as 
 .Ariflocrat. Kingfman, Loyalift, Royalift, Cler- 
 gyman, Englifhman &c. it is, therefore, no more 
 than fair play for me to choofe from amongft 
 them that which fuits me bejl Ertglijbm&n is the 
 one I have preferred on the prefect occafion" It 
 is not my bufinefs to reconcile fuch incongrui- 
 ties. Peter avowed himfeif to be an Engliflman ; 
 he declares that he met with the greatefi encou- 
 ragement from the people of this Country, and 
 yet he adduces as an argument that he is not in 
 Britiih pay, becaufe he is known to be an En- 
 glifhman, and c: the unconquerable prejudices ex- 
 ifting in this country would ope rate weightily agahift 
 whatever he might advance." There is this to 
 be faid in extenuation of this mod palpable con- 
 tradiction, that the two pamphlets were written 
 at different periods, and that however good his 
 memory may be, it cannot retain every thing i ! 
 How true is the old adage that a liar ought to 
 have a good memory. One of two corro- 
 laries flows inevitably from his own Abatement. 
 Either that he aflerted a faifhood with refpectto 
 the encouragement and patronage he received, 
 .or that his works have been folded into the 
 world thro* foine fecret agency, and that he is, 
 by means of the fame agency, enabled to pay 
 twelve hundred dollars a year for a houfe, and 
 
[ 46 ] 
 
 to furnifh a book-ftore. Peter may take his 
 choice of the two iniquities. 
 
 Peter fays his " writings have had no other 
 object than that of keeping alive an attachment 
 to the Confutation of the United States., and 
 the ineftimahle man who is at the head of the 
 government." If the people of this country 
 can read this fentence with the fame compofure 
 with which I have written it, it will be well for 
 them. A Britifh Corporal keeping alive an 
 attachment to our Conftitution is really a good 
 one! ! ! A man who came to this Country penny - 
 lefs and unknown, without a fingle evidence 
 of attachment to our country, a mere adventu- 
 rer and perhaps a fugitive from juftice, keeping 
 alive an attachment to our Conftituiion, is one 
 of the mod unheard of infults ever offered to 
 an enlightened and free people. The Conftitu- 
 tion of the United States was the will of the 
 people and of the people only ; who told Peter 
 then, that it wanted extraneous aid to keep an 
 attachment to it alive ? Did he adventure to this 
 Country for the purpofe of interpreting our 
 Conftitution as well as our treaties ? If any 
 thing could bring our conftitution into queftion 
 it would be fuch an advocate ; for the man who 
 could panegyriie the Britifh Government with 
 ail its mighty mafs of iniquity and corruption, 
 would biaii the reputation of our Conftitution 
 the moment his peftiferous breath came into 
 .contact with it. Did Peter find an analogy 
 between the two in principle, influence and cor- 
 ruption, that he has turned out the champion 
 of both? The one is a Republic, the other a 
 Monarchy, how could he, then be a friend to 
 both ? If he is the friend of a Republic how 
 could he trumpet the praifes of a Monarchy ? 
 
C 47 3 
 
 If he is the friend of a Monarchy, how could he 
 turn the panegyrifl of a Republic ? The more 
 this faid Peter is analized, the more ahfurd, 
 the more proffiigate does he appear. Principle 
 can have nothing to do with fuch a man who is 
 every moment at war with himfelf. The decla- 
 ration he made when he was charged with in- 
 juring the caufe he had efpoufed by his writings, 
 fhows the extent of his principles. His reply 
 was " that he did not care that he intended to 
 change fides foon^ he had come over here to make 
 money out of us, and he did not care how he accom- 
 plifoedit" Left this fine fpeech might be fup- 
 pofed a fabrication, it has been publicly aflert- 
 ed, that a gentleman of the City, who had 
 been lately a director of the Bank of the United 
 States and a man of unqueftionable honor and 
 veracity was an authority for it. This fpeech 
 carries probability upon the face of it ; for the 
 triumphs of the French Republic in Italy and 
 on the Rhine, have converted many a member 
 of the Britiih Faction. Peter has laboured hard 
 in the caufe of Mammon without effect. Victo- 
 ry has ftill been the order of the day, notwith- 
 (tanding his pamphlets and his prayers ; and 
 now he thinks it time to change fides to fave 
 his bacon ! ! ! Alas ! Poor Peter ! 
 
 When he was called upon by the tax-gatherer 
 for his taxes during his refidence in Callow hill 
 Street, he did not then fpeakof " theineiiimable 
 man who is at the head of the government" 
 He reviled every man in the government from 
 the Prefident to the Conftabie, and declared that 
 the people in Great Britain poiTeiTed more free- 
 dom than we do This has been aflerted in the 
 public prints, and altho' he chofe to deny that 
 
C 48 J 
 
 he owed taxes he did not dare to deny the 6- 
 ther part of the (lory. His filence then muft 
 be taken as a coafefiloa of the charge. How 
 ineftimable the Prefideat mult be in his eyes, 
 appears alfo from the contemptuous manner in 
 which he fpoke of his official letters. This al- 
 fo has been made public, and among his deni- 
 als this has not been included. What an inef- 
 timable man is he who is at the head of the 
 Government, in the eftimation of Peter Porcu- 
 pine ! 
 
 It is a hardfliip upon Peter, and he complains 
 of it bitterly, that he fbould be confidered as a 
 foreigner, not entitled to all the privileges of an 
 American -When he was difcharging his " vi- 
 negar mixed with gall" againft Mr. Gallatin, 
 he feemed to have lefs companion upon foreign- 
 ers. In this cafe it was a crime to be a foreign- 
 er, and his little phial of vengeance was pour- 
 ed upon the devoted head of Mr. Gallatin, for 
 having been born in Geneva. 
 
 It feems from this that he is determined no 
 fo r e';y.'v.T but himfelf, or an Engliflimaa (hall 
 be privileged to give an opinion, unlefs indeed 
 he fhould be a fycophant or an hireling of 
 Great Britain. A man who avows himfelf a 
 foreigner has certainly no right to meddle in our 
 politics, and as Peter (till claims Great Britain 
 as his country, it is the height of impertinence 
 to dare to offer his opinions on the men and 
 meafures of our Country. Hear him, my rea- 
 ders, and judge for yourfelves. " And if I have 
 give way to my indignation when a hypocriti- 
 cal political divine (fpeaking of Doctor Prieft- 
 ley) attempted to degrade MY COUNTRY, or 
 when its vile calumniators called it " an infu- 
 lar Baftilc," what have I done more than eve- 
 
ry good man In my place would have done? 
 For a mm in place under a government, as Pe- 
 ter here cqnfeiTes he is, to advocate that gov- 
 ernment may not be confidered as exceptiona- 
 ble ; but the impertinence, lies in his interfe- 
 rence in our government. It will be remem- 
 bered, that at the time his gall overflowed in his 
 obfervations againfl Doclor Prieflley, his belo- 
 ved countrymen were combined with the fava- 
 ges on our frontiers to aid in cutting our 
 throats ; that they were bufily employed in rob- 
 bing us on the high feas ; that they had fuc- 
 ceeded in their endeavours to let locfe the Alge- 
 rine pirates againfl us ; and that they were con- 
 cerned in many other a&s of humanity and good 
 will towards the United States and at this ve- 
 ry moment his indignation was excited on hear- 
 ing his Country (not America where he lived and 
 enjoyed protection) fpoken irreverently of! 
 
 He afks whether he has done more than his 
 * 6 duty" in doing this ? It is certainly the duly 
 of a man in his place to ferve his employers ; but 
 was it a part of his duty to meddle in our poli- 
 tics, and throw his {link pots at the patriots of 
 the Revolution, and the Republicans in Con- 
 grefs ? If this conflituted a part of his duty 
 he has given us the information in feafon. We 
 are now apprized of his place, his duty and his 
 Country. 
 
 This faid Peter Porcupine is made up of 
 blunders. He blunders upon the Editor of the 
 Aurora as the grandfon of Dr. Franklin, to 
 whom Voltaire gave his blefling. The facl is 
 that it was TEMPLE FRANKLIN, another of his 
 grandfons. Let us contraft the account CON- 
 ', in his life of Voltaire, gives of the in- 
 G 
 
t 50 J 
 
 tervjew between Dr. Frankin and Voltaire, with 
 that which Peter has extracted from a Britijh 
 Magazine. It will be at ieafl amufmg to fee the 
 difference of opinion. 
 
 " At this fame time, Paris boafted, alfo, 
 the prefence of the celebrated Franklin, who, 
 in another hemifphere, had been the apoftle of 
 philofophy and toleration. Like Voltaire, he 
 had often employed the weapon of humour 
 which corrects the abfurdities of men, and had 
 difplayed their perverfenefs as a folly-more fatal, 
 but alfo worthy of pity. He had joined to the 
 fcience of metaphyfics the genius of practical 
 philofophy; as Voltaire, that of poetry. Frank" 
 II n bad delivered the waft countries of America from 
 the yoke' of Europe; (this is the rub eh! Peter) 
 and Voltaire had freed Europe from the yoke of 
 the ancient theocracy of Afia. Franklin was eager 
 to fee a man whofe reputation had long been, 
 ipread over both worlds: Voltaire, although he 
 had loft the habit of fpeaking Englifli, endea- 
 voured to fupport the converfation in that 
 language ; and afterwards refuming the French, 
 he laid " Je n'ai pu rcfifter au defir de parlerua 
 moment la langue de M. Franklin.'* " I could 
 not refill the defire of fpeaking the language of 
 Mr. Franklin for a moment." 
 
 " The American philofopher prefented his 
 grandfon to Voltaire, with a requeft that he would 
 give him his benediction. " God and liberty !" 
 faid Voltaire: " it is the only benediction 
 which can be given to the grandfon of Franklin." 
 They went together to a public affemby of the 
 academy of fciences, and the public at the fame 
 time beheld with emotion thefe two men, born 
 in different quarters of the globe, refpectable by 
 their years, their glory, the employment of their 
 
C 5' 3 
 
 lives, and both enjoying the influence which they 
 had exercifed over the age in which they lived. 
 They embraced each other in the midil of public 
 acclamations, and it was faid to be Solon who 
 embraced Sophocles. But the French Sophocles 
 had trampled on error and advanced the reign 
 of reafon ; and the Solon of Philadelphia, hav- 
 ing placed rhe conftitution of his country on 
 the immoveable foundation of the rights of 
 man, had no fear of feeing his uncertain laws, 
 even during his own life time, open the way to 
 tyranny and prepare fetters for his country." 
 
 This is the Dr. Franklin that Peter Porcupine 
 ftiles " old lightning rod," and " poor Ri- 
 chard." This is the fame Franklin to whom 
 he applies every fcurvy epithet, whofe philofo- 
 phy he fneers at in the following manner. " He 
 never made a lightning rod nor bottled up a Jingle 
 quart offunjhine in the whole courfe of his life. He 
 was no almanac maker ^ nor quack ^ nor chimney 
 doftor, nor foap boiler, nor ambqffador, nor print- 
 er* "s devil" Mankind have united in their teftimo- 
 ny of approbation of Dr. Franklin's philofophy, 
 and yet Peter, whohas neither philofophy, patrio- 
 tifm, veracity, nor principle, has raifed his pig- 
 my voice againft millions. Perhaps it would 
 be treating this fubjeft as it deferves, by difinif- 
 ing it wi'ch the words of the Poet, and concluding 
 with him, that 
 
 " A villain's cenfure is extort edpraife" 
 
 COPY RIGHT SECURED ACCORDING TO LAW. 
 
REFRESHMENT 
 
 FOR THE MEMORT 
 
 OB 
 
 WILLIAM COB BET T. 
 
 BT 
 
 SAMUEL F. BRADFORD. 
 
A REFRESHMENT, 6-c. 
 
 " The gods take pleafure oft, when haughty mortals 
 " On their own pride erect a mighty fabric, 
 " Byfigfafl nisans^ to lay their towering fchemes 
 " Low in the duft, to teach them they are nothing.' 1 
 
 THOMSON. 
 
 j[ OU will, doubtlefs, be furprifed on finding who 
 it is that now addrefles you 5 but, your furprife will be 
 of fhort duration, when you recollel, that it is one, 
 whofe father's tranfa&ions with you, all your {lore of 
 lies and mifreprefentation have been expended to pre- 
 fent in falfe coloring. I was at New-York when a 
 gentleman firft informed me that the ferpenf we had 
 faved from perilhing had endeavoured to fling us. A- 
 mazement rivetted me to the fpot where I flood I 
 could not believe it was poflible that Cobbett would 
 be guilty of fuch bafenefs ; that the man, whom I 
 (like an imprudent and unfufpec~ling youth) took to my 
 bofom as a friend, and treated with every mark of at- 
 tention and politenefs a ilranger could expect., would 
 thus reward me ; but, however, I found it 'was poflible, 
 and do, here, render you my moil fin cere thanks for 
 the valuable lefTon of prudence which you have taught 
 me. 
 
C 4 ] 
 
 I muft confefs that I admired your private character 
 for a long time j but, is it any wonder that a young 
 man, unfkilled in the ways cf the world, fhould be de- 
 ceived by fo artful a creature and fo confurnmate an 
 hypocrite as yourfelf. It is beneath the dignity of a 
 man of honor, or of virtue, to be a traitor to his fellow 
 man at all ; but, this turpitude receives additional ag- 
 gravation, when praftifed on an unfufpedting and un- 
 hackneyed youth However, as you confefs yourfelf, 
 in your letter to Mr. Bache, that you " aimed your 
 poifonous darts at an innocent woman" (Mrs. Rowfon) 
 it ought not to aftonifh me if you fhould even attempt 
 the murder of infancy itfelf ! 
 
 Your public writings, it is well known, I approved 
 fo far as they refpeted our juftly celebrated conftitu- 
 tion, and the Great Man whom the unanimous voice 
 of the people of America has appointed their Chief 
 Magiflrate ; but, as to your principles, you yourfelf mutt. 
 acknowledge that I detefted them as much, and even 
 more, than I did thofe of the party againft whom your 
 public attacks were made. What repeated, what num- 
 berlefs arguments have we not had on the fubjecl: of 
 Republican and Monarchical governments Abfolute 
 Defpotifni) and nothing lefs, accorded with your pri- 
 vate fentiments : even the Britift Government was not 
 despotic enough it favoured too ftrongly of Republicanifm. 
 
 You well know how warmly I defended tlue caufe of 
 Republicanifm j and with what ardor I juflified the 
 laws and conftittition under which you noiv live, and 
 which you have to frequently abufed and vilified in my 
 
[ 5 ] 
 
 prefence : but, all my arguments were in vain you 
 were " nurfed in the lap of Ariftocracy." Even the 
 very people, who now treat you with fo much atten- 
 tion on account, of fome of your public writings, have 
 been, in private, groily abufed by you. Our mod ref- 
 pectable characters were (according to your account) 
 a fet of Speculators, Land-jobbers, &c. fceking to en- 
 trap and deceive every foreigner who landed on our 
 fhores ; our induftrious mechanics, nothing but a vile 
 moby ct factious herd, &c. The courtly ftile of Burke was 
 ever in your mouth. 
 
 Call to mind the expreffion of MD'D (meaning the 
 citizens of Philadelphia) which you wifhed to intro- 
 duce into the title page of your Plain Englifh, and 
 which my father, with indignation, erafed. Deny 
 this, if you dare : even your friend Beelzebub will 
 dare with amazement if you attempt it. 
 
 How groily did you frequently abufe the People 
 of America, by repeatedly afTerting that they were, 
 for the greater part, good AriftocralSy good Royalifts 
 in their hearts, and only wore the mafk of hypocrify 
 to anfwer their own purpofes. You even had the va- 
 nity to fay, you had (( converted many ivho f werejlaunch 
 Republicans" and that you wiftied your arguments 
 could have the fame effect on me ; but, that you fear- 
 ed I was too much a Saris-culotte (meaning a friend 
 of liberty I fuppofe) at heart ever to be reformed by 
 you. This you intended as a difparagement to me ; 
 but, I confidered it as the higheft of compliments ; 
 
 for, remember your own words> " Men of integrity 
 H 
 
C 6 3 
 
 arc generally pretty chftinate in adhering to an opinion once* 
 adoptcdy 1 This maxim, however, my confcience will 
 not permit me to apply to you ; for, though " ftiff 
 in opinion-, always in the wrong," I will not offer fuch 
 an infult to virtue as to call your obftinacy the offspring 
 of integrity ; befides, your reafons were, like fome of 
 your writings, mere froth ; for, although you can de- 
 claim and fcandalize with the greateft hero of Billingf- 
 gate, yet, in fober argument, and chaitity of manner, 
 you are, as far as my judgment goes, the mereft nicom- 
 poop of the whole group of the defenders of Ariftocra- 
 cy and Royalty and, in all our numerous converfa- 
 tions, your argumentative powers have proved infufB- 
 cient to convince me that-" to be a citizen of America 
 was to be a Slave, and to be afubjeft to the king of Great 
 Britain, in comparifon^ a Freeman" 
 
 There is one circumftance that I give you credit 
 for ; that is, the love you bore Old England, and e- 
 very man muft allow the amor patria3 to be commen- 
 dable. There was no affectation then (as now) of 
 love for America * and a Republican form of govern- 
 ment, I mean in private ; for hunger (fmce you have 
 now forced me to tell the fecret) made you write in a 
 different ftyle from- what you fpoke. You knew 
 there was a party here who were charged with an in- 
 tention to fubvert the government, and who were faid 
 to be enemies to it ; you were then teaching a few 
 frenchmen, in this city, to parler Anglois ; (you think 
 proper to make no mentioij of this in your life ; but if 
 
 * No ivo?ider the Jlripes on her Jlag bore too great an 
 analogy to a certain part of you 
 
c 7 : 
 
 you have impudence enough to deny it> remember 
 witnelTes are at hand) but, finding yourfelf too dog- 
 matical for a teacher, not of Boys over whom you could 
 exercife ycur tyranny, but of Men who would not 
 brook your imperious manner, and fearing to flarve, 
 you thought of 'becoming an author. My father, when 
 you offered him your firft productions, faw in them 
 fome marks of a ready writer, and hoping^ (vain hope 
 indeed !) as you were then extremely anxious for con- 
 cealment, to make you ferviceable to his Country and 
 himfelf, printed them j but, too much of the colour- 
 ing of your private fentiments would, frequently, ap- 
 pear in your public writings, in fpite of the many al- 
 terations and amendments we made. 
 
 You fay in your life that you were " never of an 
 accommodating difpofiticn," in order to prove that 
 we made no alterations in your writings. Your me- 
 mory is, really very bad " my Lad" or you would 
 not affert falflioods with fuch unblufhing effrontery. 
 Remember what you wiftied inferted in the New- 
 Year's Gift ; remember what was erafed from the 
 Congrefs Gallery, and remember, too, the many al- 
 terations I made, independently of my father I would 
 infertfome of the erafed paffages here, but they arc 
 too blackguard, too low, and too infulting to Ameri- 
 cans, for my pen to write. Yes, Billy, you may 
 thank me for refufmg feveral things which you wifhed 
 inferted, and efpecially the piece I made you erafe 
 from the manufcript of the New Year's Gift the mo- 
 ment I faw it, and on account of which, if it had been 
 
C 8 3 
 
 publifhed you would now be, where many a Britifh 
 Corporal has been before you. 
 
 Excufe my refrefhing your memory with thefe cir- 
 cumftances j but, I find it is, really, grown fo trea- 
 cherous (notwithftanding your own aflertion to the 
 contrary) that I could not avoid it. You have already 
 f tny Lad" proved yourfelf a Liar and I can prove 
 you to be a poor pitiful Coward ! 
 
 I well know, that you never expected to receive an 
 anfwer, or you would riot have written what you did. 
 You endeavoured to vilify my father, and, except, in 
 one iriftance, {leered clear of me. You knew my fa- 
 ther You knew he never would floop to anfwer the 
 lies of a Britifh Corporal You knew his character 
 was too well eftablifhed, and, therefore, you expect- 
 ed your bafe infinuatioas would not be refuted. You 
 avoided faying any thing to difcrcdit me 5 and, every 
 one, who knows your knack at lying, cannot but be- 
 lieve, your fertile brain could have engendered fome 
 {lory or other to injure me, had you not been witheld 
 by cowardly motives ; yes, I fay cowardly motives ; for, 
 ' you were confcious 
 
 <( I could a tale unfold 
 
 " Whofe lighted woes would harrow up the fouls" of 
 the freemen of our country. 
 
 You, alfo, knew I was a young man, who had a 
 character to eftablifh in the world that I was jealous 
 of that character, and, that the leafl afperfion from 
 you, would produce an anfwer on my part. This was 
 what you dreaded j and, by faying (as you thought) 
 
L 9 3 
 
 nothing to affect me, you expected to fave " your ba- 
 con" But you are miftaken. Remember, my Lady* 
 I am not the heart-breaking rafcal to my parents, that 
 you have been to yours. I love my parents Say you 
 loved yours, if you dare, when you caufed them fo 
 many hours of anguifli. You thought I could read 
 your lies, concerning my father, unmoved, provided 
 I did not come in for a mare myfelf. You did not 
 know me ; but, remember, from this time, that eve- 
 ry afperfion on his character, I confider as a detraction 
 from my own. Were you to write ten thoufand lies, 
 concerning me, I could eafier forgive you, than for 
 one concerning him. Let fly your whole ftore of enve- 
 nomed Quills againft me I am prepared Armed 
 with the fhield of truth, I fear you not. Methinks I 
 now behold you, fwearing vengeance on my head, and 
 biting your under lip 'till the blood almoft hTues from it. 
 Yes, methinks I fee all this ; for, though you pretend 
 tc have no feeling, I muft confefs, that when (in our 
 ftore) you read the Rub from Snub, poorly written as 
 it was, you knit your eye brows, ihrugged up your 
 moulders, and " grind d horribly a ghaftly fmile " but, 
 recollecting yourfelf, you threw it down, and, with 
 an affected laugh of contempt, faid " He's a poorfcur~ 
 rilcus dog) dud not worth minding." Yet, fpare me for 
 this time, Billy, and keep your temper a little longer 
 for I have more in ftore for you If you dojiaver a 
 little, only be careful that it does not come in contact 
 with any of your neighbours ! ! ! 
 
 If any perfon ft ill doubts your being a Coward, he 
 may have further proof in the manner of your attack- 
 
[io 3 
 
 ing Mr. Carey and my father. In order to avoid Mr. 
 Carey's anger, you endeavour to make up with him, 
 by commending his fecrecy. My father, you well 
 knew, gloried fo much in the name of Whig (or Re- 
 bel, as you generally fliled him) that you thought to 
 curry favour with him, and make him forgive and for- 
 get your abufe by laying open his principles to the 
 public. He has forgiven you j and, has difdained (as 
 you, naturally, fuppofed would be the cafe) to anfwer 
 your infinuations. Nor mould I (a boy) have honor- 
 ed you fo much had it not been for the opportunity 
 which the preceeding pamphlet offered me of annex- 
 ing a refreihment for your excellent memory. I (hall 
 content myfelf, at prefent, with making fome remarks 
 on your half-told life and your mifreprefentations and 
 reticence of your tranfations with my father. 
 
 But, to your life " Set a beggar on horfeback and 
 he will ride to the Devil." Here we fee you, Mr. 
 Corporal, mounted on your prickly beaft, cutting and 
 fiafliing as you go ; friend or foe, it is all one to you, 
 fo that you can belch forth your acrimony and dif- 
 charge your rancour. 
 
 Whether you were drummed out of your regiment 
 or regularly difcharged (though, by the bye, it is not 
 common to difcharge a good foldier, as you would 
 make us believe) or whether you arrived at New York 
 or Wilmington ; whether you remained, in obfcurity, 
 teaching a few Frenchmen toparler Anglois in the lat- 
 ter place and afterwards here, or whether you were 
 ikulking in our fuburbs, 'till you fuppofed it was time 
 
C 3 
 
 to flam upon the aftonifhed world, and difplay your 
 fuperior abilities, by telling us, that William Cobbett 
 *was the writer of certain pieces under the title of Peter 
 Porcupine, I fay, thefe things are matters of little con- 
 fequence to me. Your miinuations, mifreprefenta- 
 tions and reticences are what concern me. 
 
 Whether the exprefTipn " that my father found you 
 a coat," was really told to you, or whether it was your 
 own confcioufnefs, I will not pretend to fay. But 
 this much I will declare, that neither he, or any of 
 the family, ever did make uie of the expreffion ; how- 
 ever, on recollection and perufal of your Hfe, the view 
 of your regimentals, which, no doubt, were the befl 
 in your wardrobe when you attempted to difpofe of 
 your writings, when I view thefe things, the change 
 in your drefs, the addition to your houmold furniture 
 your living down flairs inftead of the Garret you were 
 firfi found in, I make no doubt he contributed to put 
 better cloaths on your back, and better furniture in 
 your houfe. 
 
 Had not my father rifked his property in order to 
 print your eflays and convince you that his prefs was 
 free, you might, ere now, have enlifted as a foldier, 
 indulged your love of rambling, or have been maintained 
 at the public expencf. 
 
 You wifli to infmuate, page 38, that my father's 
 prefs is not a free prefs. This is fo falfe as not to me- 
 rit an anfwer. You and your eflays prove the contra- 
 ry, and the people of America well know, that he r at 
 well as his father and great grandfather, have all hswi 
 
t: '* 3 
 
 the honor of being profecuted for maintaining its liber- 
 ty in fpite of the frowns and menaces of a Britiih Min- 
 iftry. And, while I am its condu&cr, it (hall be open 
 and free to any and every party, whether in politics or 
 literature ; it {hall roll as a free and independent (not 
 licentious) prefs ought to, in fpite of the clamours of 
 faffhriy the Jlander of hirelings, or the frowns of Pow- 
 er. Nay, were the Prefident of the United States, 
 that firfl, that greateft of men, to make an attack on 
 its freedom, it mould repel him with its native ener- 
 gy- 
 Apropos, Billy ; I faw at the end of your Scare 
 Crow, " From the Free Prefs of William Gobbett" 
 What ! you have fet up a Free Prefs, have you ? - 
 A Free Prefs of your own too, I fuppofe ! ! Pray, how 
 long is it fince you bought a prefs ? You have been ve- 
 ry fecret about the bufinefs, indeed : you never let a 
 fingle brother Typo know a word about it, 'till you 
 flamed upon us with " From the Free Prefs y &c." None 
 of the prefs-makers, here, had even the lead know- 
 ledge of it, no not one. But, I fuppofe you imported 
 it ; and your workmen too, eh ! for, I have never yet 
 heard of any American journeyman having worked in 
 Billy Cobbett's printing office. At the end of your 
 " Life and Adventures" I do not fee any more men- 
 tion of the Free Prefs ; the plain imprint " Printed for 
 find fold by William Cobbett" is fufficient now! What! 
 fold it already ! Shame on you Billy. Sell a Free Prefs 
 a month after its eftablifhment ! Oh tempora ! Oh me- 
 res ! But, to be ferious, as I fee you have repented, 
 if you will promife to continue your good behaviour, I 
 
C '3 3 
 
 not tell your friends how you employed ariothe> 
 printer, and, plagiarift like, called his prefs your own; 
 but, mind, this is on condition that I fee nothing more 
 of " WILLIAM COBBETT'S FREE PRESS." 
 
 You fay, page 40, your pamphlets* were not " ho- 
 nored with the bookfeller's name." I fee you will be 
 at your old trade of lying ftill. The books, as they novr 
 Hand in the ftore will give you the lie. The imprint 
 of " La Nomenclature Angloiff* fays " Imp rime c/jea 
 Thomas Bradford" but, you forget to place this book 
 in your very occur att account; you forget that you ever 
 wrote it, and got paid for it. However, that is no. 
 great matter of furprize ; it was written for the ufe of 
 Frenchmen, and you know, that a man, who cannot 
 remember having been a teacher de la langue AngUife 
 might, eafily, forget receiving payment for a Nomen- 
 clature, purpofely written to facilitate its acquirement. 
 He might alfo, with the fame eafe, forget that he ever 
 
 wrote a grammar, entitled Le Tuteur Anglois 
 
 Imprime chez Thomas Bradford," and that he receiv- 
 ed a confiderable fum of money for it, together with 
 two hundred copies of the work, which he gave his 
 word never to difpofe of here (as he had an intention 
 to leave this " damned country" and feek his fortune 
 clfewhere) but, which he did difpofe of to his fcholars, 
 and others, at an under price, and thereby injured our 
 fale fo much that the chief part of the edition is now on 
 hand, and, if he chufes to purchafe, will be fold to hmt 
 again for half its value. 
 I 
 
C 3 
 
 are both, nearly, of the fame fize. It is true the firft 
 fold better than the fecond ; but, he did not know, at 
 the time of making the bargain, this would be the cafe : 
 the prefumption was, that the fecond would have a 
 much quicker fale than the firft, becaufe the writings 
 were more generally circulated and known. Your 
 confcience muft tell you what the 125 Dollars were 
 given for, and, if you have the leaft fpark of honor re- 
 maining, you will undeceive a public, already, too 
 much duped by your artifices. 
 
 Through your dealings with my father, you cannot 
 lay but that he paid the price you afked for your eflays 
 and fomc other works which he hired you to do; and, 
 perhaps, it might be made to appear you got fomething 
 more ; but, the principle bufinefs^ your confcience 
 (if you have any) told you, mould be accounted for 
 was that of the Congrefs Gallery. This, in converfa- 
 tion was ftarted by you or my father it matters not 
 which -, but, on conclufion, he aiked you what you 
 would have for the work. Your anfwer was, one quar- 
 ter of a dollar per page. This he agreed to give you, 
 and, accordingly, iflued propofals for fubfcription, as 
 it was intended to be a large work, and continued 
 through the feflion 5 but, B Davis, the Boekfeller, 
 who came frequently to our (lore, one day, by popping 
 in, as your were mentioning the Bloody Buoy, dif- 
 covered you ; and, my father not being over-anxious 
 to publifh it he contracted with you for it. While 
 writing this, you were feveral times applied to for 
 the fecond number of the Congrefs Gallery you made 
 various excufes to put it off; but, my fether, finding 
 
L 17 J 
 
 y<Mi meant to publifh the work under another title, 
 called on you, and aflted you for the work ; you denied 
 writing, tho' it was, then, nearly ready for the prefs, 
 and, being prefled, you faid, that if you did write, no 
 other than he mould have it. 
 
 My father had> as far as1:he word of a man could go 
 purchafed the copy-right of the ProfpcEl> and had enter- 
 ed the fame; but you, like an artful villain, finding it 
 had a ready fale, forfeited all ties of contract (fup- 
 pofing you an honed man he had taken no more than 
 your word) and continued the work under another 
 title, as if that would fcreen your villainy. Had ths 
 propofals, iflued by him, by and with your concur- 
 rence, been filled, the lofs to him muft "have been very 
 confiderable ; and when the arrangements, made by 
 him, are taken into view, perhaps, had he purfued his 
 ideas (which I am now forry I difluaded him from) 
 when he wrote the note, dated the 22d of March, 1 796, 
 a jury might have given a few pounds damages, to con- 
 vince a Briti/h Corporal that he ought to keep his word, 
 with an u American Rebel" as well as with any other 
 man ! 
 
 In page 48, I fee the following fentcnce " Mr. 
 Bradford once told tne, that Mr. Allcn> the father-in-law 
 of Mr. Hammond, faid he ivas acquainted with me" Do 
 you really mean that my father told you fo ? If you do, 
 the following exact ftatement will prove either your 
 admirable talent of mifreprefentation, or the excellency 
 of your very excellent memory. My brother, William 
 Bradford, cue day, told you, that Andrew Allen, jljc 
 
C 18 ] 
 
 fonof Mr. Allen, die father-in-law of Mr. Hammond, 
 had, as they were walking together, pointed you out 
 as Peter Porcupine. My father never mentioned the 
 circumftance to you at all ; he did not even know it. 
 
 I will now proceed to the aflertion you make con- 
 cerning myfelf. You mention that Mr. Bradford's 
 fon (you forgot I fuppofe he has three) offered you a 
 hundred dollars a number for the Profpecl:, in place 
 of eighteen, and that he obferved, that their cuftomers 
 would be much difappointed, for, that his father had 
 promifed a continuation, and that it Jhould lie made very 
 mterejllng. The firft part of this, for a wonder, is 
 ftri6tly true : I did offer you one hundred dollars, and 
 my father did prcmife a continuation in the propofals ; 
 for, as he had your word of honor ! for the fulfillment 
 of the contract, he fully expected it would be conti- 
 nued during the feffion ; but with regard to the expref- 
 lion that it J/jould be made very interefling, you have 
 fallen into your old failing. I never did make ufe of it, 
 cither to you or any other man, and it is only a fabrica- 
 tion of your own in order to account for your rafcally 
 behaviour. 
 
 What a pity it is, Cobbett, that you did not entrap 
 me in the Geneva affair. Perhaps you don't recollect 
 this either. I will refrefh your memory. Remember 
 that you came acrofs a copy of the hiftory of the late 
 revolution in Geneva, written in French, and that hav- 
 ing propofed tranflating it you wifhed me to appear as 
 the tranilator by inferting in the title-page, u TranJIatcd 
 from the French by Samuel F. Bradford." Remember 
 too, that you mentioned to ms that you defignecl, alfo, 
 
C 19 1 
 
 to write a preface, which was to appear as if coming 
 from me : your intention in fo doing, yon hinted, was 
 to make the public (who would compare your ftyle of 
 writing with the preface) take me for the author, and 
 this you fuppofed I would be proud of. Your real in- 
 tention was to perplex the public opinion and -avoid 
 being difcovered ; for you were at that time excepavely 
 frightened at the bare idea of fuch a thing. This \vas 
 the time I began to fee your cloven foot. Do you 
 think you a&ed as a man of virtue, honor, or principle 
 in endeavouring to draw an inexperienced young man 
 into an affair of fuch a nature ? Suppofe, for a mo- 
 ment, I had confented, what fweet nuts you would 
 
 have had to crack ! Tiianks to my pride I did not con- 
 
 f * 
 
 fent. Yes, to my pride, I fay ; for it was wounded 
 by fuch an offer. If I had wifhed to become known as 
 a tranflatorof the French language or fome other modern 
 ones, I need only to have affixed my nair. I pub- 
 
 limed thofe works and mifcellaneous piece? which 
 hitherto employed my leifure hours. .Perhaps, even 
 now, you do not remember, why you dropt the publi-^ 
 cation I will again refrefh your, memory : You be- 
 gan the tranflation and intended to publifh it in another 
 name ; but, a few days after, you found it was printed 
 by Mr. Fenno, and accordingly gave it up. 
 
 I muft now difmifs the fubjecl:, confident I have 
 treated it more fully than it deferved. The time I 
 have been writing the foregoing I confider as loft in-r 
 deed; but, I could not behold fo many abominable 
 falmoods with indifference. " My lad, " you miy 
 mow write againft me till your red head" turns black- 
 
I here throw you the gauntlet take it up., and however, 
 poorly writen this firfl public anfwer of mine may be, 
 however devoid of all the beauties of ftyle, and the 
 graces of compofition the whole of this- Refrefhment 
 may appear} yet, you will feel, on reading it, that it 
 contains more ftingmg truths than a cat o* nine tails. 
 
 You may, perhaps, fuppofe, that being a boy, I might 
 forget myfelfanddefcend fo far, as to honor you with 
 a criticifm upon your works. No, I difdain it ; your 
 blunders are fo great that it would be an Herculean la- 
 bour to enumerate them ; your writings are made up 
 of blackguardifms and grammatical outrages. But, 
 were I to defcend to criticifm, I might tell you that 
 the very page which lays before me (49) and which is 
 next to the one from which I but a little Awhile ago 
 made an extract, contains the following elegant and 
 grammatical fentence. " This we daily fee verified 
 in the diftribution of certain blafphemous gazettes^ 
 which, though kicked from the door with df&uh,jr*/ 
 in at the window." Had I, while at fchool, written 
 fuch a fentence, my fchool-mates would have hifled 
 me from my clafs. Gazettes fies ! ! I Oh ! Billy, Billy ! ! 
 I will conclude by giving the public your own fen- 
 timents of your own works, which I have in your own 
 hand writing. If you have forgotten this alfo, come 
 and refrefh your memory, or if you are ajbamed to come 
 nigh our houfe, get fome of your friends to look whe- 
 ther or no it is not your own hand-writing. It mail 
 be open for the infpeclion of the public. Here it is 
 rad and " grin horribly a ghaftly fmile^ 
 
C 21 3 
 
 Mr. Bache, 
 
 " A pamphlet has lately made its appearance among us 
 " entitled A Second part of a Bcne to Gnaiu y jor the De~ 
 " mocratsy which is at once perhaps the mod impudent 
 and infolent performance that ever difgraced a free 
 <c prefs. I do not cenfure this piece for its being 
 " written againft the Democrats j for I am certain that 
 " every careful perufer will fee that its true object is, 
 " not to combat thofe focieties, but to vilify all Ame- 
 <c rica, and its allies, its faithful allies, and raife the 
 " interefts of Great Britain on their ruins. The writer 
 " has feized die opportunity of a pamphlet containing 
 " the proceedings of the United Iriihmeri (which 
 u the editor had certainly as great a right to publiih as 
 (i he lias to publifh his traih \ to introduce to the unwa- 
 ic ry public a trait in the French revolution, which, 
 " though it mufl give pain to every humane mind, is 
 < not lefs excufable than other excefies to which every 
 nation is inevitably impelled by its rev6iutionary 
 " motion. He has introduced th ; s trait, however, 
 *' with all the exaggerated circumftances that can be 
 " conceived, and while he fets out with telling his 
 " reaa'er that his genius is not adapted to the tragic, 
 e he is preparing to " harrow up his foul" with hor- 
 < ror. But what had the feige of Lyons to do with 
 " the Democrats in this country or with the United 
 Irifhmen? There was not the leaft fhadow of a necef- 
 ' fity for introducing it, and it could be done only to 
 <f vilify the French and all other republican governments. 
 Obferve where the author fays p 42. " when France 
 was a monarchy the common hangman at Lyons en- 
 " tertained a higher fenfe cf honour than has yet been 
 c expreiled by any one of the' convention." la net 
 <c this infinuating that it is impoffible for repuL, 
 <f to poflefs any fenfe of honour ? This (hallow v 
 " has perhaps never heard of the BniLufcs and Gates- 
 < and of many republicans of modern times' that might 
 vie with them. 
 
C ^ ] 
 
 " The condufion of this piece b TTS the fhmp of 
 its origin ; it rmifhes with endeavouring to perfuade 
 the citizens of this country, that they ought to pre- 
 fer ccmiecxmis with Great Britain to thofe v, r ith 
 France. But this author does not feel as an Ameri- 
 raw ,- the injuries that Great Britain has heaped on 
 this country are not imprinted on bis heart as they 
 are on ours. This reaibning from the prefent fitua- 
 tion of France is falacious whatever may be her rao- 
 mentary diflreffes, (he cannot fail in the end to raiife 
 herfelf iuperior to all her enemies, and to put to the 
 blulh all thofe who are now rejoicing in imaginary 
 profpecls of her deftruttion. 
 
 This writer takes particular delight in vilifying thofe 
 charters whom Americans have been long accuf- 
 tomed to admire the piece would not be his, if it 
 did not contain fome farcafm en the venerable Doc- 
 tors Franklin and Priejlley-^-m this laft production he 
 feems to have gone a little further than ufual, he 
 has placed one of them in hell and given us to un- 
 derltand that the other will focn follow him. 
 " His low attempt at wit on this fubjecl: can only 
 daw a fmile of contempt from a man of fenfe. The 
 two great men he has thought proper to treat thus, 
 are fo far above the reach of his malice, that it 
 would be ufelefs for me to attempt their j unification. 
 The dead have ever been looked upon as exempted 
 from reproach, but this pamphleteer difregards de- 
 corum , it is not afloniming he who has been bafc 
 enough to aim his poifonous darts at an innocent 
 \/ oman, fnould not look upon the grave ^s a Ihelter 
 from his malice. 
 
 " I fliall make but one obfervation on tlie flile of this 
 pamphlet, it is this ; that, if pcflible, it is fome- 
 thing worfe than any thing this author has before 
 given us, and th.it if this is the way he improves, 
 we may expect him to arrive very foon at that per- 
 felion of infipidity which v/ill enfure him the title 
 of Jerry Snake. I would advife him to ildift let 
 him leave off while he is well whatever he may 
 imagine, he was never formed tot- make converts in 
 
C =3 1 
 
 Arr.erics^-his would-be wit never ceafes to nwnkca 
 difguft, Zkw *o Gnaw r.nd Grub-flrt'et, will fccn be 
 fynonymous. 
 
 -^ Ccrrefpcndent 
 BURLINGTON, June 2, 1795, 
 
 c * Have ccficd ills lev i Kg cpiftlc, word for 
 ivcrd and letter for letter , preferring ibe falfe 
 orthography ;" it was written by William Cob- 
 bett for publication. He requeued me to tranf- 
 cribe it, ?nd fend it to Mr. Bache, which I did ; 
 but, whether Mr. Bache's difcernment led him 
 to fufpedthe author, whowifhed by any means, 
 however font, to bring himfelf into notice, or 
 whether he confldered Peter Porcupine as too 
 contemptible to merit public animadverfion, I 
 will net pretend to fay; certain it is, however, 
 that he did not publifli it. The original re- 
 mained in my hands, and may now be feen by 
 any perfcn who wi flies to behold a fpecimen of 
 very accurate ivniir^! 
 
 SAMUEL F, BRADFORD.