LIBRARY OK THK University of California. GIFT OF Received i/j/XjXyT^ • l8 9% ■ Accession No. ^f^T) (? . Class No. °1^ 1 Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2007 with funding from Microsoft Corporation http://www.archive.org/details/epigrameveningOOsanfrich Epigram Evening November $th, 1888 SAN FRANCISCO THE BANCROFT COMPANY, PUBLISHERS 1888 WWo ORIGINAL An Epigram — why! what is that? — Something that's sharp and never flat ; A metrical, well-rounded bit Surcharged with fire of keenest wit, And which, like fly in amber caught, Forever lives a shining thought. — Ed. R. Taylor EPIGRAMS ORIGINAL Were Doctor Lane as good in every line As in the carving of our form divine, His epigrams, we must agree, would cope With best of those of Dryden or of Pope, And even Bierce would be compelled to yield To witty medico the conquered field. — Ed. R. Taylor ORIGINAL Here's John Hittell, so strong on facts, He nothing cares for jingling snacks, And as for making epigram, He could not turn one worth a clam. — Ed. R. Taylor EPIGRAMS ORIGINAL Here Kirkland comes, in 'ologies so strong, She knows them all as well as woman can, sir; While in philosophy her line's so long- It stretches quite from Zeno up to Spencer; And as to history, her ready tongue, I dare be sworn, could any question answer; And when it comes to epigrammatizing, Why she's beyond all calculable sizing. — Ed. R. Taylor ORIGINAL Here's Greer, whose native modesty's so shy, She scarce an epigram would dare to try; But should she thus her dormant power raise, She doubtless would compel our highest praise. Why, what is this? — her epigram, by jingo! It beats them all in thought as well as lingo. —Ed. R. Taylor EPIGRAMS ORIGINAL On Mrs. L. C. Lane 's request for a contribution to the "Epigram Evening" An Epigram's a rather dangerous thing For novice to essay to fitly sing; For where the wittiest have succeeded ill, What hope for dulness and unpractised skill ? And yet, when she whom we delight to please Commauds the task, the pen we gladly seize, For if she smiles upon our crippled verse, All careless we of critic's sneer or curse ; — She who has sweetened Sunday's cup of tea With sugared wit and honeyed pleasantry; Who always listens well and talks still better When epigrammatists and others let her ; Whether the theme the lightest ever spun, Or gathered from her favorite Emerson ; Her words e'er flowing with mellifluous tone, Bearing a charm and wisdom all their own ; EPIGRAMS Whose facile pen the heavy German turns To airy English that with meaning burns ; Who rallies us to try our leaden wings As now she does on unfamiliar things ; Who cheers and lightens his laborious life Who blesses every hour he calls her wife — A woman who, had I but Dryden's wit, Should have the brightest epigram e'er writ. — Ed. R. Taylor Sunday Evening, Nov. 4th, 1888 EPIGRAMS Selections by Ed. R. Taylor (jarriqK 09 Qoldsfiytl? " Here lies Nolly Goldsmith, for shortness called Noll, Who wrote like an angel but talk'd like poor poll." ft Qo\ds[t\\ty or) QarrieK " Here lies David Garrick, describe me who can, An abridgment of all that was pleasant in man ; As an actor, confest without rival to shine; As a wit, if not first, in the very first line ; Yet, with talents like these and an excellent heart, The man had his failings, a dupe to his art. Like an ill-judging beauty his colors he spread, And beplaster'd with rouge his own natural red. On the stage he was natural, simple, affecting; 'Twas only that when he was off he was acting. With no reason on earth to go out of his way, He turned and he varied full ten times a day ; EPIGRAMS Though secure of our hearts, yet confoundedly sick If they were not his own by finessing and trick. He cast of! his friends, as a huntsman his pack, For he knew when he pleased he could whistle them back. Of praise a mere glutton, he swallowed what came, And the puff of a dunce, he mistook it for fame, Till, his relish grown callous almost to disease, Who pepper'd the highest was surest to please. But let us be candid and speak out our mind, If dunces applauded he paid them in kind. Ye Kenricks, ye Kelleys, and Woodfalls so grave, What a commerce was yours while you got and you gave I How did Grub Street reecho the shouts that you raised, While he was be-Roscius'd and you were be-praised ! But peace to his spirit wherever it flies, To act as an angel and mix with the skies ; Those poets who owe their best fame to his skill, Shall still be his flatterers, go where he will ; Old Shakespeare receive him with praise and with love,, And Beaumonts and Beus be his Kelleys above." EPIGRAMS ORIGINAL I cannot make an epigram, I cannot pen a dithyramb ; I ne'er could build the lofty rhyme ; I will not spend my precious time (Which should be given to washing dishes,) In angling for deep-water fishes ; And so I make my grand salaam To everybody's Epigram ! — Cordelia S. Kirkland ORIGINAL In olden times, when rhymes were new, And folks had less to cram, I think it may have been some fun, To pen an epigram. But now, when every scribbling wight Can rhyme at such a rate, I own I'd rather, much, die soon Than on this theme di-late. — Cordelia S. Kirkland EPIGRAMS lO ORIGINAL EMBLEMS OF THE EPIGRAM It's like a needle — like a bee — And now some graceless wag Who tastes its sweetness — feels its point — Calls it a "jelly bag." — Cordelia S. Kirkland EPIGRAMS 11 Selections by Miss C. S. Kirkland " Men, dying, make their wills, but wives Escape a fate so sad; Why should they make what all their lives The gentle dames have had." On a painting of Beau Nash placed between busts of Sir Isaac Newton and Pope "This picture placed the busts between Adds to our thought much strength — Wisdom and Wit are little seen, But Folly at full length." EPIGRAMS 12 An original something, fair maid, yon wonld win me To write, but how shall I begin ? I fear there is nothing original in me Excepting original sin." — Coleridge, in an Album "On two days it steads not to rnn from thy grave, The appointed and the unappointed day ; For thee, on the first, no physician can save, Nor thee, on the second, the Universe slay." — From the Persian "On parent knees a naked, new-born child, Weeping thou sat while all around thee smiled; So live that, sinking in thy last long sleep, Calm thou mayst smile while all around thee weep." (N. B. The way we all felt after trying to write an epigram, — C. S. K.) EPIGRAMS 13 UNCHOSEN Still stings one bitter moment When — in that mystic land Where, waiting Fate's dread summons, The unborn spirits stand — Genius walked grand among us Her own to signify, And while I thrilled with yearning Smiled on me — but passed by I ORIGINAL A puzzled bard seeks rhyme for White, And 'twixt two spouses cannot choose aright; For Lovell the word should be quiet, For Laura much truer were riot. —John S. Hittell EPIGRAMS 14 Selections by John S. Hittell " Know ye wherefore Jeremiah Spent his life in lamentation? 'Twas that with prophetic eye he Saw himself in Pomp's translation." — Voltaire 4ft fit' " Weep o'er poor Piron's grave ; He failed in every ambition; He did not even get to be A miserable Academician." — Voltaire # " Lycns was asked the reason, it is said, His beard was so much whiter than his head. 1 The reason,' he replied, ' my friend, is plain ; I've worked my jaw much harder than my brain.' " — Anonymous EPIGRAMS 15 " Here comes Mr. Winter, surveyor of taxes, I advise you to give hiin whatever he axes, And that without any nonsense or flummery, For though his name's Winter, his actions are summary." — Theodore Hook " Sure man is naught but grass and hay, Gone to-morrow, though here to-day. Woman's a vapor, full of woes, She cuts a caper and down she goes." — Anonymous EPIGRAMS 16 ORIGINAL presidential Tis not that fairy lore may bring To yours its seal from flowery dale ; — But will my love outlast the Spring I'd gladly learn from leaf as frail." — Mrs. L. C. Lane EPIGRAMS 34 Selections {continued,) by Mrs. L. C. Lane " Said Celia to a reverend Dean, What reason can be given, Since marriage is a holy thing, That they have none in Heaven?" " They have," says he, "no women there ; " She quick returns the jest ; " Women there are, but I'm afraid They cannot find a priest." EPIGRAMS 35 Selections by Mrs. L. C. Lane " The river Rhine, it is well known, Doth wash the city of Cologne ; But tell rue, nymphs, what power divine Shall henceforth wash the river Rhine." — Coleridge $ 11 Curved the line of beauty, Straight the line of duty ; Follow this and thou shalt see The other ever follow thee." " You ask me why I have no verses sent — — For fear you should return the compliment." EPIGRAMS 36 " Arthur, they say, has wit — for what, For writing? — No, for writing not." — D. Swift " Of all wit's uses the main one Is to live well with who has none." — Emerson tffc m " He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere." — Emerson EPIGRAMS 37 A German lexicographer says that Epigrams may be divided into two classes, the one addressed to the intellect, the other to the feeling ; the former being didactic, satiric, or comic ; the latter, lyric, or elegiac ; he says there are those who err by making the witty epigram superior to the sentimental one ; but there are others who err still more by admitting one only of these into their theory, and even Lessing is not free from this fault. In his theory, Lessing keeps in view only the witty and satiric; but he is in the right in demanding for the epigram, an interesting idea, thought, or fancy, which raises expectation and then responds to it by some unexpected turn. Herder, however, has shown that this aiming at what is witty is not indispensable to the epigram ; that wit is essential to the comic and satiric epigram only. Among the Romans, wit was the point that sharpened the epigram, and although the Greek epigram is rather addressed to the sentiment, yet modern Europe took the former for her model, until Herder, by his labors in Greek Anthology EPIGRAMS 38 successfully combated this prejudiced conception of the epigram. For the Italians, Spanish, Portuguese and French, the madrigal took the place that the sentimental epigram held for the Greeks. Littre, in denning the epigram, gives us the following quotation from Sainte-Beuve : " Formerly, a short piece of verse upon any subject whatever; among the ancients, a short composition of not more than eight or ten lines, usually in hexameter or pentameter; in character it might be triumphal, votive, or descriptive ; it might be an inscription on a tomb ; it might be a pastoral too short to be called an idyl ; it might be a declaration of love ; or an amorous plaint not elaborate enough for an elegy ; raillery, too, might find place therein, but it was always subordinate, while jin the modern epigram it is the principal feature." Another says of the epigram that it is a short piece of verse terminating in a bon-mot or in a cutting witticism : " The point of an epigram, Alcandre, is with thee a passion ; but EPIGRAMS 39 thou desirest a long epigram, although, like a long inscription, it is censurable; like the arrow of the archer, it should make its breach with a single blow; hast thou ever seen a spear shot from a bow ? " Littre adds that the name may be applied to a witty rhyme of two lines only, or to any piquant remark or raillery introduced into conversation. According to Laharpe the name epigram is, to-day, applied to all verse which makes a near approach to satire, and which has in view the same aim, viz : criticism or raillery ; also to any caustic expression introduced into common conversation; and, in addition thereto, it may be made to include any thought ingeniously expressed, or even the simplest idea made the subject of a few lines of poetry. The word itself means simply an inscription, and among the Greeks, from whom we have borrowed it, it was confined to its etymological signification. The epigrams collected by Agathias, Planude, Constantine, Hierocles, and others who EPIGRAMS 40 composed the Greek Anthology, are only inscriptions for religions offerings, for tombs, statues or monuments ; they are usually extremely simple, and well adapted to their purpose ; the greater number of them merely state some fact or relate some deed. But many of them are too long, and few of them have anything in common with what we, in our day, recognize as an epigram. Voltaire, so skillful in gathering from every object its bloom, has translated the following ones, the sole examples that cor- respond to our idea of an epigram : llpoi) a ^tatu^ of J/iob^ The angry gods in fatal wrath This woman changed to stone; The sculptor, nobler than the gods, The stone to woman turned. EPIGRAMS 41 leapder apd J-tero Impelled by Love, Leander braves The angry, stormy waves ; " Let me but reach yon shore," his cry, "Then drown, and show how lovers die." Upoi) tfy{ \f<(T)US of praxiteles 'Tis true, just as you see me here, So Mars beheld, Adonis fair, And Vulcan, too, I blushing own — But Praxiteles, where saw he me! Another epigram, drawing a comparison between Mercury and Hercules, the favor of both of whom may be propitiated by gifts, and thus protection to the flocks be secured, declares EPIGRAMS 42 that, while Mercury is satisfied with a little honey and milk — Hercules demands two lambs a day; so, if the flocks are to be devoured, what matter whether it be by wolves or by Hercules. The last of these epigrams is the prettiest of all ; it represents Lais making a consecrated offering of her mirror in the Temple of Venus ; it is by Plato, and it has been rendered into English by several writers; of the following translations, the first is by B. L. Swift, the second by Prior: I, Lais, once of Greece the pride, For whom so many suitors sighed, Now aged grown, at Venus' shrine The mirror of my youth resign ; Since what I a?n I will not see, And what I was I cannot be. Venus take my votive glass ; Since I am not what I was, What from this day I shall be. Venus, let me never see. EPIGRAMS 43 Martial has sharpened the epigram among the Latins much more than was ever done among the Greeks ; seeking always to render it piquant, he is far from always succeeding. His greatest fault of all is that he has been too prolific. He has a dozen books, viz.: about twelve hundred epigrams, of which if three-fourths were lost there would be little cause for regret. He, himself, acknowledges an undue profusion ; but this acknowledgment in no measure diminishes the importance he attaches to these bagatelles. They have come down to us in the most exact order, just as he arranged them, each book, even, with its own dedication. Satisfactory as this may be, it does not recompense us for the loss of so many works of Titus Livius, of Tacitus and of Sallust, the works of all of whom Time has so much less respected than he has those of Martial. The first book is devoted entirely to the praise of Domitian. Posterity would have been better pleased with one good epigram against this tyrant. Moreover these praises constantly EPIGRAMS 44 turn around the same centre; the subject is always the spectacles which Domitian gave to the people, and Martial repeats the story in a hundred different ways, telling how much more marvelous they were than any that had ever pre- ceded them. This shows what importance the Romans attached to this kind of magnificence; and at the same time shows how easy it was to flatter the self-conceit of Domitian. In the choice of his subjects Martial is as ribald as Rousseau, but in poetic achievement he falls infinitely behind him. Rousseau has so excelled in his licentious epigrams that we could pardon him for them if what is contrary to good morals might ever be pardoned. Martial, when he becomes obscene, does not rise above his own level, and his poetry cannot absolve him ; he would have done quite as well had he respected decency. Martial says in one place that a poet ought to be pure in his conduct, but that it is not necessary that his verses be chaste ; EPIGRAMS 45 to this one might reply that they need not be licentious. Happily, there is a small number of his epigrams that can be recited anywhere, and in one of these he very wittily gives the complaint of a poor peasant who has recourse to law to recover damages for the loss of three kids, and " for nothing else," as he informs us ; the peasant reproaches his lawyer for making, on this occasion, a grand speech to the Court about the Punic War, about Hannibal and a dozen other heroes, about the Triumvirs and their fatal combats, and begs him to say one little word about his poor kids. — P. C. L. EPIGRAMS 46 Selected by Dr. L. C. Lane " Oh, my little book, if thou desirest to be approved by Attic ears, I exhort thee, I admonish thee, That thou win the learned Appollinaris ; No one is' more exact, no one more erudite, No one more candid, no one more benign than he ; If he hold thee on his lips, and receive thee in his breast, Thou needest not fear the scoffs of maligners, Nor wilt thou become a wrapping for fish ; But if he condemn thee, get thee quickly to the salt-market, And seek the venders' stalls Or, on thy reverse side, the school-boy may labor with his pot-hooks." — Translated from Martial EPIGRAMS 47 The bow is unbent, Our arrows all spent, And we lay down our pens With a smiling regret; If the white we have hit In our efforts at wit, Each one of us kens 'Twas with effort and fret; If we've quite missed the mark, Or hit only the dark, We've still had our fun From rhyme and from pun;- But hark ! — there's a note On the air still afloat — My ears are a-ringing, Soft tones are a-singing, A meaning undreamt From darts that are spent : EPIGRAMS -48 Be your bow ever bent But with kindly intent ; Let the cord be of love, And the arrow above All unworthy suspicion, Speed well on its mission, And carry its point — To Friendship's fruition. —P. C L. — THE END — ^ OK THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY BERKELEY Return to desk from which borrowed. This book is DUE on the last date stamped below. ■ f YE 01478 oDsiasivaj nivs 03 aanp=s>ioiH hh± dO A1^3dO^Id