THE 
 
 WITCHES OF NEW YORK. 
 
THE 
 
 WITCHES OF NEW YORK, 
 
 AS ENCOUNTERED BY 
 
 Q. K. PHILANDER DOESTICKS, P. B. 
 
 NEW YORK : 
 
 RUDD & CARLETON, 310 BROADWAY. 
 M D C C C L I X . 
 
 K 
 
 OF 
 
 
 L 
 

 TT 
 
 Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1858, by 
 
 RUDD & CAELETOX, 
 
 In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the Southern 
 District of New York. 
 
 E. CRAlGHEAfc, 
 
 liter, Stereotyper, and Electrotype^ 
 
 Carton JJmRimg, 
 
 81, S3, and 83 Centre Street* 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 WHAT the Witches of New York City personally told me, 
 Doesticks, you will find written in this volume, without the 
 slightest exaggeration or perversion. I set out now with no 
 intention of misrepresenting anything that came under my 
 observation in collecting the material for this book, but with 
 an honest desire to tell the simple truth about the people I 
 encountered, and the prophecies I paid for. 
 
 So far from desiring to do any injustice to the Fortune Tel- 
 lers of the Metropolis, I sincerely hope that my labors may 
 avail something towards making their true deservings more 
 widely appreciated, and their fitting reward more full and 
 speedy. I am satisfied that so soon as their character is better 
 understood, and certain peculiar features of their business 
 more thoroughly comprehended by the public, they will meet 
 with more attention from the dignitaries of the land than has 
 ever before been vouchsafed them. 
 
 I thank the public for the flattering consideration paid to 
 what I have heretofore written, and respectfully submit that 
 if they would increase the obligation, perhaps the readiest way 
 is to buy and read the present volume. 
 
 THE AUTHOR. 
 
 Sept. 20&, 1858. 
 
 17 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. ia simply Explanatory so far as regards the 
 book, but in it the author takes occasion to pay himself 
 several merited compliments on the score of honesty, ability, 
 &c., &c., &c 15 
 
 CHAPTER II. is devoted to the glorification of Madame Prew- 
 ster, of No. 373 Bowery, the Pioneer Witch of New York. 
 The "Individual" also herein bears his testimony that she 
 is oily and water-proof. 27 
 
 CHAPTER III. wherein are related divers strange things of 
 Madame Bruce, the " Mysterious Veiled Lady," o^No. 513 
 Broome Street 61 
 
 CHAPTER IV. Relates the marvellous performances of Madame 
 Widger, of No. 3 First Avenue, and how she looks into the 
 future through a paving stone 73 
 
 CHAPTER Y. Discourses of Mrs. Pugh, of No. 102 South First 
 Street, Williamsburgh, and tells what that Nursing Sorceress 
 communicated to the Cash Customer.. . 99 
 
xii Contents. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. in which are narrated the wonderful workings 
 of Madame Morrow, the " Astonisher," of No. 76 Broome 
 Street, and how by a Crinolinic Stratagem the " Individual" 
 got a sight of his " Future Husband." 123 
 
 CHAPTER VII. contains a full account of the interview of the 
 Cash Customer with Doctor Wilson, the Astrologer, of No. 
 172 Delancey Street. The Fates decree that he shall 
 " pizon his first wife." HOORAY ! 147 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. gives a history of how Mrs Hayes, the Clair- 
 voyant, of No. 176 Grand Street, does the Conjuring Trick. 169 
 
 CHAPTER IX. tells all about Mrs. Seymour, the Clairvoyant, 
 
 of No. 110 Spring Street, and what she had to say 195 
 
 CHAPTER X. describes Madame Carzo, the li Brazilian A stro- 
 logist," and gives all the romantic adventures of the "Indi- 
 vidual" with the gay South American Maid 215 
 
 CHAPTER XL In which is set down the prophecy of Madame 
 Leander Lent, of No. 163 Mulberry Street; and how she 
 promised her customer numerous wives and children 239 
 
 CHAPTER XII. Wherein are described all the particulars of a 
 visit to the " Gipsey Girl," of No. 207 Third Avenue ; with 
 an allusion to Gin, and other luxuries dear to the heart of 
 that beautiful Rover 261 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. contains a true account of the Magic Esta- 
 blishment of Mrs. Fleury, of No. 263 Broome Street ; and 
 also shows the exact amount of Witchcraft that snuffy 
 parsonage can afford for one dollar 281 
 
Contents. xiii 
 
 CHAPTER XIY. describes an interview with the 4i Cullud" 
 Seer Mr. Grommer, of No. 34 North Second Street, Williams- 
 burgh, and what that respectable Whitewasher and Prophet 
 told his visitor. 305 
 
 CHAPTER XV. How the Individual called on Madame Clifton 
 of No. 185 Orchard Street, and how that amiable and gifted 
 "Seventh daughter of a Seventh daughter," prophesied his 
 speedy death and destruction together with all about the 
 " Chinese Ruling Planet Charm." 327 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. details the particulars of a morning call on 
 Madame Harris, and how she covered up her beautiful head 
 in a black bag 353 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. Treats of the peculiarities of Several Witches 
 
 in a single batch 371 
 
 CHA PTER XVIII. Conclusion 395 
 
 \ 
 
CHAPTER I. 
 
 Which is simply explanatory, so far as regards the book, but 
 in which the author takes occasion to pay him- 
 self several merited compliments, on the 
 score of honesty, ability, etc. 
 
CHAPTER I. 
 
 WHICH IS MERELY EXPLANATORY. 
 
 THE first undertaking of the author of these pages 
 will be to convince his readers that he has not set 
 about making a merely funny book, and that the 
 subject of which he writes is one that challenges 
 their serious and earnest attention. Whatever of 
 humorous description may be found in the succeeding 
 chapters, is that which grows legitimately out of 
 certain features of the theme ; for there has been no 
 overstrained effort to make fun where none naturally 
 existed. 
 
 The Witches of New York exert an influence too 
 powerful and too wide-spread to be treated with such 
 light regard as has been too long manifested by the 
 community they have swindled for so many years ; 
 
18 The Witches of New York. 
 
 and it is to be desired that the day may come when 
 they will be no longer classed with harmless mounte- 
 banks, but with dangerous criminals. 
 
 People, curious in advertisements, have often read 
 the "Astrological" announcements of the news- 
 papers, and have turned up their critical noses at the 
 ungrammatical style thereof, and indulged the while 
 in a sort of innocent wonder as to whether these 
 transparent nets ever catch any gulls. These matter- 
 of-fact individuals have no doubt often queried in a 
 vague, purposeless way, if there really can be in 
 enlightened New York any considerable number of 
 persons who have faith in charms and love-powders, 
 and who put their trust in the prophetic infallibility 
 .of a pack of greasy playing-cards. It may open the 
 eyes of these innocent querists to the popularity of 
 modern witchcraft to learn that the nineteen she-pro- 
 phets who advertise in the daily journals of this city are 
 visited every week by an average of sixteen hundred 
 people, or at the rate of more than a dozen customers 
 a day for each one ; and of this immense number 
 
Explanatory Chapter. 19 
 
 probably two-thirds place implicit confidence in the 
 miserable stuff they hear and pay for. 
 
 It is also true that although a part of these visitors 
 are ignorant servants, unfortunate girls of the town, 
 or uneducated overgrown boys, still there are among 
 them not a few men engaged in respectable and 
 influential professions, and many merchants of good 
 credit and repute, who periodically consult these 
 women, and are actually governed by their advice in 
 business affairs of great moment. 
 
 Carriages, attended by liveried servants, not unfre- 
 quently stop at the nearest respectable corner adjoin- 
 ing the abode of a notorious Fortune-Teller, while 
 some richly-dressed but closely-veiled woman stealth- 
 ily glides into the habitation of the "Witch. Many 
 ladies of wealth and social position, led by curiosity, 
 or other motives, enter these places for the purpose 
 of hearing their "fortunes told." When these ladies 
 are informed of the true character of the houses they 
 have thus entered, and the real business of many of 
 these women whose fortune-telling is but a screen to 
 
 OF THE 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
20 The Witches of New York. 
 
 intercept the public gaze from it, it is not likely that 
 any one of them will ever compromise her reputation 
 by another visit. 
 
 People who do not know anything about the sub- 
 ject will perhaps be surprised to hear that most of 
 these humbug sorceresses are now, or have been in 
 more youthful and attractive days, women of the 
 town, and that several of their present dens are vile 
 assignation houses ; and that a number of them are 
 professed abortionists, who do as much perhaps in 
 the way of child-murder as others whose names have 
 been more prominently before the world ; and they 
 will be astonished to learn that these chaste sibyls 
 have an understood partnership with the keepers of 
 houses of prostitution, and that the opportunities for 
 a lucrative playing into each other's hands are con- 
 stantly occurring. 
 
 The most terrible truth connected with this whole 
 subject is the fact that the greater number of these 
 female fortune-tellers are but doing their allotted part 
 in a scheme by which, in this city, the wholesale 
 
Explanatory Chapter. 21 
 
 seduction of ignorant, simple-hearted girls, in the 
 lower walks of life, has been thoroughly systematized. 
 The fortune-teller is the only one of the organization 
 whose operations may be known to the public ; the 
 other workers the masculine go-betweens who lead 
 the victims over the space intervening between her 
 house and those of deeper shame are kept out of 
 sight and are unheard of. There is a straight path 
 between these two points which is travelled every 
 year by hundreds of betrayed young girls, who, but 
 for the superstitious snares of the one, would never 
 know the horrible realities of the other. The exact 
 mode of proceeding adopted by these conspirators 
 against virtue, the details of their plans, the various 
 stratagems by which their victims are snared and led 
 on to certain ruin, are not fit subjects for the present 
 chapter ; but any individual who is disposed to pro- 
 secute the inquiry for himself will find in the various 
 police records much matter for his serious cogitation, 
 and may there discover the exact direction in which 
 to continue his investigations with the certainty of 
 
22 The Witches of New York. 
 
 demonstrating these facts to his perfect satisfac- 
 tion. 
 
 A few months ago, at the suggestion of the editor 
 of one of the leading daily newspapers of America, 
 a series of articles was written about the fortune- 
 tellers of New York city, and these articles were in due 
 time published in that journal, and attracted no little 
 attention from its readers. These chapters, with such 
 alterations as were requisite, and with many addi- 
 tions, form the bulk of this present volume. 
 
 The work has been conscientiously done. Every 
 one of the fortune-tellers described herein was per- 
 sonally visited by the " Individual," and the predic- 
 tions were carefully noted down at the time, word for 
 word ; the descriptions of the necromantic ladies and 
 their surroundings are accurate, and can be corrobo- 
 rated by the hundreds who have gone over the same 
 ground before and since. They were treated in the 
 most fair and frank manner ; the same data as to time 
 and date of birth, age, nationality, etc., were given in 
 all cases, and the same questions were put to all, so 
 
Explanatory Chapter. 23 
 
 that the absurd differences in their statements and pre- 
 dictions result from the unmitigated humbug of their 
 pretended art, and from no misinformation or mis- 
 representation on the part of the seeker after mystic 
 knowledge. 
 
 This latter person was perfectly unknown to the 
 worthy ladies of the black art profession ; he was to 
 them simply an individual, one of the many-headed 
 public, a cash customer, who paid liberally for all he 
 required, and who, by reason of the dollars he dis- 
 bursed, was entitled to the very best witchcraft in the 
 market. 
 
 And he got it. 
 
 He undertook a few short journeys in search of the 
 marvellous ; he went on a couple of dozen voyages 
 of discovery without going out of sight of home ; he 
 penetrated to the out-of-the-way regions, where the 
 two-and-sixpenny witches of our own time grow. He 
 got his fill of the cheap prophecy of the day, and pro- 
 cured of the oracles in person their oracularest say- 
 ings, at the very highest market price. For the busi- 
 
24 The Witches of New York. 
 
 ness-like seers of this age are easily moved to prophesy 
 by the sight of current moneys of the land, no matter 
 who presents the same ; whereas the oracles of the 
 olden time dealt only with kings and princes, and 
 nothing less than the affairs of an entire nation, or a 
 whole territory, served to get their slow prophetic 
 apparatus into working trim. To the necromancers 
 of early days the anxieties of private individuals were 
 as naught, and from the shekels of humble life they 
 turned them contemptuously away. 
 
 It is probably a thorough conviction of the neces- 
 sity of eating and drinking, and a constant contem- 
 plation from a Penitentiary point of view of the con- 
 sequences of so doing without paying therefor, that 
 induces our modern witches to charge a specific sum 
 for the exercise of their art, and to demand the 
 inevitable dollar in advance. 
 
 Whatever there is of Sorcery, Astrology, Necro- 
 mancy, Prophecy, Fortune-telling, and the Black Art 
 generally, practised at this time by the professional 
 Witches of New York, is here honestly set down. 
 
Explanatory Chapter. 25 
 
 Should any other individual become particularly 
 interested in the subject, and desire to go back of the 
 present record and make his exploration personally 
 among the Fortune-tellers, he will find their present 
 addresses in the newspapers of the day, and can easily 
 verify what is herein written. 
 
 With these remarks as to the intention of this book, 
 the reader is referred by the Cash Customer to the 
 succeeding chapters for further information. And the 
 public will find in the advertisements, appended to the 
 name and number of each mysteriously gifted lady, the 
 pleasing assurance that she will be happy to see, not 
 only the Cash Customer of the present writing, but 
 also any and all other customers, equally cash, who 
 are willing to pay the customary cash tribute. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 Is devoted to the glorification of Madame Prewster of No. 
 
 373 Bowery, the Pioneer Witch of New York. 
 
 The " Individual" also herein bears his 
 
 testimony that she is oily and 
 
 waterproof. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 MADAME PREWSTER, No. 373 BOWERY. 
 
 THIS woman is one of the most dangerous of all 
 those in the city who are engaged in the swindling 
 trade of Fortune Telling, and has been professionally 
 known to the police and the public of New York for 
 about fourteen years. The amount of evil she has 
 accomplished in that time is incalculable, for she has 
 been by no means idle, nor has she confined her atten- 
 tion even to what mischief she could work by the 
 exercise of her pretended magic, but if the authenticity 
 of the records may be relied on, she has borne a 
 principal part in other illicit transactions of a much 
 more criminal nature. She has been engaged in the 
 " Witch" business in this city for more years than 
 has any other one whose name is now advertised 
 to the public. 
 
30 The Witches of New York. 
 
 If the history of her past life could be published, 
 it would astound even this community, which is not 
 wont to be startled out of its propriety by criminal 
 development, for if justice were done, Madame Prew- 
 ster would be at this time serving the State in the 
 Penitentiary for her past misdoings ; but, in some of 
 these affairs of hers, men of so much respectability 
 and political influence have been implicated, that, 
 having sure reliance on their counsel and assistance, 
 the Madame may be regarded as secure from punish- 
 ment, even should any of her many victims choose 
 to bring her into court. 
 
 The quality of her Witchcraft, by which she osten- 
 sibly lives, and the amount of faith to be reposed 
 in her mystic predictions, may be seen from the 
 history of a visit to her domicile, which is hereunto 
 appended in the very words of the "Individual" who 
 made it. 
 
Madame Prewster, No. 373 Bowery. 31 
 
 The " Cash Customer" makes his first Voyage in a Shower, 
 but encounters an Oily and Waterproof Witch at the 
 end of his Journey. 
 
 It rained, and it meant to rain, and it set about it 
 with a will. 
 
 It was as if some "Union Thunderstorm Com- 
 pany" was just then paying its consolidated atten- 
 tion to the city and county of New York; or, 
 as if some enterprising Yankee of hydraulic tenden- 
 cies, had contracted for a second deluge and was 
 hurrying up the job to get his money ; or, as if the 
 clouds were working by the job ; or, as if the earth 
 was receiving its rations of rain for the year in a 
 solid lump ; or, as if the world had made a half-turn, 
 leaving in the clouds the ocean and rivers, and 
 those auxiliaries to navigation were scampering back 
 1 to their beds as fast as possible ; or, as if there had 
 been a scrub-race to the earth between a score or 
 more full-grown rain storms, and they were all com- 
 ing in together, neck-and-neck, at full speed. 
 
32 The Witches of New York. 
 
 Despite the juiciness of these opening sentences, 
 the "Individual" does not propose to accompany 
 the account of his heroical setting-forth on his first 
 witch-journey with any inventory of natural scenery 
 and phenomena, or with any interesting remarks on 
 the wind and weather. Those who have a taste for 
 that sort of thing will find in a modern circulating 
 library, elaborate accounts of enough " dew-spangled 
 grass" to make hay for an army of Nebuchadnezzars 
 and a hundred troops of horse-^-of "bright-eyed 
 daisies " and " modest violets," enough to fence all 
 creation with a parti-colored hedge of " early larks " 
 and "sweet-singing nightingales," enough to make 
 musical pot-pies and harmonious stews for twenty 
 generations of Heliogabaluses ; to say nothing of the 
 amount of twaddle we find in American sensation 
 books about "hawthorn hedges" and " heather bells," 
 and similar transatlantic luxuries that don't grow in 
 America, and never did. 
 
 And then the sunrises we're treated to, and the 
 sunsets we're crammed with, and the " golden clouds," 
 
Madame Prewster, No. 373 Bowery. 33 
 
 the "grand old woods," the "distant dim blue moun- 
 tains," the "crystal lakes," the "limpid purling 
 brooks," the "green-carpeted meadows," and the 
 whole similar lot of affected bosh, is enough to shake 
 the faith of a practical man in nature as a natural 
 institution, and to make him vote her an artificial 
 humbug. 
 
 So the voyager in pursuit of the marvellous, 
 declines to state how high the thermometer rose or 
 fell in the sun or in the shade, or whether the wind 
 was east-by-north, or sou'-sou'-west by a little sou'. 
 
 The " dew on the grass " was not shining, for there 
 was in his vicinity no dew and no grass, nor anything 
 resembling those rural luxuries. Nor was it by any 
 means at " early dawn ;" on the contrary, if there be 
 such a commodity in a city as "dawn," either early 
 or late, that article had been all disposed of several 
 " hours in advance of the period at which this chapter 
 begins. 
 
 But at midday he set forth alone to visit that pro- 
 phetess of renown, Madame Prewster. He was fully 
 
 2* 
 
34 The Witches of New York. 
 
 prepared to encounter whatever of the diabolical 
 machinery of the black art might be put in operation 
 to appal his unaccustomed soul. 
 
 But as he set forth from the respectable domicile 
 where he takes his nightly roost, it rained, as afore- 
 mentioned. The driving drops had nearly drowned 
 the sunshine, and through the sickly light that still 
 survived, everything looked dim and spectral. Un- 
 earthly cars, drawn by ghostly horses, glided swiftly 
 through the mist, the intangible apparitions which 
 occupied the drivers' usual stands hailing passengers 
 with hollow voices, and proffering, with impish finger 
 and goblin wink, silent invitations to ride. Fantastic 
 dogs sneaked out of sight round distant corners, or 
 skulked miserably under phantom carts for an imagi- 
 nary shelter. The rain enveloped everything with a 
 grey veil, making all look unsubstantial and unreal ; 
 the human unfortunates who were out in the storm 
 appeared cloudy and unsolid, as if each man had sent 
 his shadow out to do his work and kept his substance 
 safe at home. 
 
Madame Prewster, No. 373 Bowery. 35 
 
 The "Individual" travelled on foot, disdaining 
 the miserable compromise of an hour's stew in a steam- 
 ing car, or a prolonged shower-bath in a leaky omni- 
 bus. Being of burly figure and determined spirit, he 
 walked, knowing that his "too-solid flesh" would 
 not be likely "to melt, thaw, and resolve itself into 
 a dew," and firmly believing that he was not born to 
 be drowned. 
 
 He carried no umbrella, preferring to stand up and 
 fight it out with the storm face to face, and because he 
 detested a contemptible sneaking subterfuge of an 
 umbrella, pretending to keep him dry, and all the 
 time surreptitiously leaking small streams down the 
 back of his neck, and filling his pockets with indigo 
 colored puddles; and because, also, an umbrella 
 would no more have protected a man against that 
 storm, than a gun-cotton overcoat would have availed 
 against the storm of fire that scorched old Sodom. 
 
 He placed his trust in a huge pair of water-proof 
 boots, and a felt hat that shed water like a duck. He 
 thrust his arms up to his elbows into the capacious 
 
36 The Witches of New York. 
 
 pockets of his coat, drew his head down into the 
 turned-up collar of that said garment, like a boy- 
 bothered mud-turtle, and marched on. 
 
 "With bowed head, set teeth, and sturdy step, the 
 cash customer tramped along, astonishing the few 
 pedestrians in the street by the energy and emphasis 
 of his remarks in cases of collision, and attracting 
 people to the windows to look at him as he splashed 
 his way up the street. He minded them no more than 
 he did the gentleman in the moon, but drove forward 
 at his best speed, now breaking his shins over a dry- 
 goods box, then knocking his head against a lamp- 
 post ; now getting a great punch in the stomach from 
 an unexpected umbrella, then involuntarily gauging 
 the depth of some unseen puddle, and then getting 
 out of soundings altogether in a muddy inland sea ; 
 now swept almost off his feet by a sudden torrent of 
 sufficient power to run a saw-mill, and only recover- 
 ing himself to find that he was wrecked on the curb- 
 stone of some side street that he didn't want to go to. 
 At length, after a host of mishaps, including some 
 
Madame Prewster, No. 373 Bowery. 37 
 
 interesting but unpleasant submarine explorations in 
 an unusually large mud-hole into which he fell full- 
 length, he arrived, soaked and savage, at the house of 
 Madame Prewster. 
 
 This elderly and interesting lady has long been an 
 oily pilgrim in this vale of tears. The oldest inha- 
 bitant cannot remember the exact period when this 
 truly great prophetess became a fixture in Gotham, 
 and began to earn her bread and butter by fortune- 
 telling and kindred occupations. Her unctuous coun- 
 tenance and pinguid form are known to hundreds on 
 whose visiting lists her name does not conspicuously 
 appear, and to whom, in the way of business, she has 
 made revelations which would astonish the unsuspect- 
 ing and unbelieving world. She is neither exclusive 
 nor select in her visitors. Whoever is willing to pay 
 the price, in good money a point on which her regu- 
 lations are stringent may have the benefit of her 
 skill, as may be seen by her advertisement : 
 
 <; CARD. Madame PREWSTER returns thanks to her friends and 
 
38 The Witches of New York. 
 
 patrons, and begs to say that, after the thousands, both in this 
 city and Philadelphia, who have consulted her with entire satis- 
 faction, she feels confident that in the questions of astrology, 
 love, and law matters, and books or oracles, as relied on con- 
 stantly by Napoleon, she has no equal. She will tell the name 
 of the future husband, and also the name of her visitors. No. 
 373 Bowery, between Fourth and Fifth streets." 
 
 The undaunted seeker after mystic lore rang a peal 
 on the astonished door-bell that created an instanta- 
 neous confusion of the startled inmates. There was a 
 good deal of hustling about, and running hither, thi- 
 ther, and to the other place, before any one appeared ; 
 meantime, the dainty fingers of the damp customer 
 performed other little solos on the daubed and sticky 
 bell-pull, and he also amused himself with inspection 
 of, and comments on, the German-silver plate on the 
 narrow panel, which bore the name of the illustrious 
 female who occupied these domains. 
 
 At last the door was opened by a greasy girl, 
 and the visitor was admitted to the hall, where he 
 stood for a minute, like a fresh- water merman, "all 
 dripping from the recent flood." 
 
Madame Prewster, No. 373 Bowery. 39 
 
 The juvenile female who had admitted him thus 
 far, evidently took him for a disreputable charac- 
 ter, and stood prepared to prevent depredations. 
 She planted herself firmly before him in the narrow 
 hall in an attitude of self-defence, and squaring off 
 scientifically, demanded his business. Astrology was 
 mentioned, whereupon the threatening fists were low- 
 ered, the saucy under-jaw was retracted, and the 
 general air of pugnacity was subdued into a very 
 suspicious demeanor, as if she thought he hadn't any 
 money, and wanted to storm the castle under false 
 pretences. She informed him that before matters 
 went any further, he must buy tickets, which she 
 was prepared to furnish, on receipt of a dollar and a 
 half; he paid the money, which transaction seemed 
 to raise him in her estimation to the level of a man 
 who might safely be trusted where there was nothing 
 he could steal. One fist she still kept loaded, ready 
 to instantly repel any attack which might be sud- 
 denly made by her designing enemy, the other hand 
 cautiously departed petticoatward, and after groping 
 
4O The Witches of New York. 
 
 
 
 about some time in a concealed pocket, produced 
 from the mysterious depth a card, too dirty for 
 description, on which these words were dimly 
 visible : 
 
 -S MADAME PREWSTER 
 <o 
 
 411 GRAND STREET. 
 
 The belligerent girl then led the way through a 
 narrow hall, up two flights of stairs into a cold room, 
 where she desired her visitor to be seated. She then 
 carefully locked one or two doors leading into adjoin- 
 ing rooms, put the keys in her pocket, and departed. 
 Before her exit she made a sly demonstration with 
 her fists and feet, as if she was disposed to break 
 the truce, commence hostilities, and punch his unpro- 
 tected head, without regard to the laws of honorable 
 warfare. She departed, however, at last, without vio- 
 lence, though the voyager could hear her pause on 
 each landing, probably debating whether it wasn't 
 
Madame Prewster, No. 373 Bowery. 41 
 
 best after all to go back and thrash him before the 
 opportunity was lost for ever. 
 
 This grand reception-room was an apartment about 
 six feet by eight; it was uncarpeted, and was lux- 
 uriously furnished with six wooden chairs, one stove, 
 with no spark of fire, one feeble table, one spittoon, 
 and two coal-scuttles. 
 
 The view from the window was picturesque to 
 a degree, being made up of cats, clothes-lines, chim- 
 neys, and crockery, and occasionally, when the storm 
 lifted, a low roof near by suggested stables. The 
 odor which filled the air had at least the merit of 
 being powerful, and those to whose noses it was 
 grateful, could not complain that they did not get 
 enough of it. Description must necessarily fall far 
 short of the reality, but if the reader will endeavor to 
 imagine a couple of oil-mills, a Peck-slip ferry-boat, a 
 soap-and-candle manufactory, and three or four bone- 
 boiling establishments being simmered together over 
 a slow fire in his immediate vicinity, he may possibly 
 arrive at a faint and distant notion of the greasy fra- 
 
42 The Witches of New York. 
 
 grance in which the ahode of Madame Prewster is 
 immersed. 
 
 For an hour and a half by the watch of the Cash 
 Customer (which being a cheap article, and being alike 
 insensible to the voice of reason and the persuasions 
 of the watchmaker, would take its own time to do its 
 work, and the long hands of which generally suc- 
 ceeded in getting once round the dial in about eighty 
 minutes) was .this too damp individual incarcerated 
 in the room by the order of the implacable Madame 
 Prewster. 
 
 He would long before the end of that time have 
 forfeited his dollar and a half and beaten an inglorious 
 retreat, but that he feared an ambuscade and a 
 pitching-into at the fair hands of the warlike servant. 
 
 Finally, this last-named individual came to the 
 rescue, and conducted him by a circuitous route, and 
 with half-suppressed demonstrations of animosity, to 
 the basement. This room was evidently the kitchen, 
 and was fitted up with the customary iron and 
 brazen apparatus. 
 
Madame Prewster, No. 373 Bowery. 43 
 
 A feeble child, just old enough to run alone, had 
 constructed a child's paradise in the lee of the cook- 
 ing-stove, and was seated on a dinner-pot, with one 
 foot in a saucepan; it had been playing on the 
 wash-boiler like a drum, but was now engaged in 
 decorating some loaves of unbaked bread with bits 
 of charcoal and splinters from the broom. 
 
 The fighting servant retreated to the far end of the 
 apartment, where she began to wash dishes with vin- 
 dictive earnestness, stopping at short intervals to wave 
 her dishcloth savagely as a challenge to instant single 
 combat. There was nothing visible that savored of 
 astrology or magic, unless some tin candlesticks with 
 battered rims could be cabalistically construed. 
 
 Madame Prewster, the renowned, sat majestically 
 in a Windsor rocking-chair, extra size, with a large 
 pillow comfortably tucked in behind her illustrious 
 and rheumatic back. Her prophetic feet rested on a 
 wooden stool; her oracular neck was bound with a 
 bright-colored shawl; her necromantic locomotive 
 apparatus was incased in a great number of predic- 
 
44 The Witches of New York. 
 
 tive petticoats, and her whole aspect was portentous. 
 She is a woman- who may be of any age from 45 to 
 120, for her face is so oily that wrinkles won't stay 
 in it ; they slip out and leave no trace. She is an 
 unctuous woman, with plenty of material in her 
 enough, in fact, for two or three. She is adipose 
 to a degree that makes her circumference problema- 
 tical, and her weight a mere matter of conjecture. 
 Moreover, one instantly feels that she is thoroughly 
 water-proof, and is certain that if she could be 
 induced to shed tears, she would weep lard oil. 
 
 Grim, grizzled, and stony-eyed, is this juicy old 
 Sibyl ; and she glared fearfully on the hero with her 
 fishy optics, until he wished he hadn't done anything. 
 
 She was evidently just out of bed, although it was 
 long past noon, and when she yawned, which she did 
 seven times a minute on a low average, the effect was 
 gloomy and cavernous, and the timid delegate in 
 search of the mysterious trembled in his boots. 
 
 At last, he with uncovered head and timid 
 demeanor presented his card entitling him to twelve 
 
Madame Prewster, No. 373 Bowery. 45 
 
 shillings' worth of witchcraft, and made an humble 
 request to have it honored. He had previously, 
 while pretending to warm himself at the stove, been 
 occupied in making horrible grimaces at the baby, 
 and then sketching it in his hat as it disfigured its 
 own face by frantic screams; and he also took a 
 quiet revenge on the pugnacious servant by making 
 a picture of her in a fighting attitude, with one eye 
 bunged and her jaw knocked round to her left ear. 
 
 When the ponderous Witch had got all ready for 
 business, and had taken a very long greasy stare at 
 her customer, as if she was making up her mind 
 what sort of a customer on the whole he might be, 
 she determined to begin her mighty magic. So she 
 took up the cards, which were almost as greasy as 
 she herself, and prepared for business, previously 
 giving one most tremendous yawn, which opened 
 her sacred jaws so wide that only a very narrow 
 isthmus of hair behind her ears connected the top 
 of her respected head with the back of her venerated 
 neck. 
 
46 The Witches of New York. 
 
 She then presented the cards for her customer to 
 cut, and when he had accomplished that feat, which 
 he did in some perturbation, she ran them carelessly 
 over between her fingers, and began to speak very 
 slowly, and without much thought of what she was 
 about, as if it was a lesson she had learned by heart. 
 
 Each word slipped smoothly out from her fat lips 
 as if it had been anointed with some patent lubrica- 
 tor, and her speech was as follows : 
 
 "You have seen much trouble, some of it in busi- 
 ness, and some of it in love, but there are brighter 
 days in store for you before long you face up a let- 
 ter you face up love you face up marriage you 
 face up a light-haired woman, with dark eyes, you 
 think a great deal of her, and she thinks a great deal 
 of you ; but then she faces up a dark complexioned 
 man, which is bad for you you must take care and 
 look out for him, for he is trying to injure you she 
 likes you the best, but you must look out for the 
 man you face up better luck in business, you face a 
 change in your business, but be careful, or it will not 
 
I UNIV 
 
 
 Madame Prewster, No. 373 Bowery. 47 
 
 bring you much money you do not face up a great 
 deal of money." 
 
 (Here followed a huge yawn which again nearly 
 left the top of her head an island.) Then she re 
 sumed, " If you will tell me the number of letters in 
 the lady's name, I will tell you what her name is." 
 
 This demand was unexpected, but her cool and 
 collected customer replied at random, " Four." The 
 she-Falstaff then referred to a book wherein was 
 written a long list of names, of varying lengths from 
 one syllable to six, and selecting the names with four 
 letters, began to ask. 
 
 "Is it Emma?" "No." "Anna?" "No." "Ella?" 
 "No?" "Jane?" "No." "Etta?" "No." "Lucy?" 
 "No." "Cora?" "No." At last, finding that she 
 would run through all the four-letter names in the 
 language, and that he must eventually say some- 
 thing, he agreed to let his "true love's" name be 
 Mary. Then she continued her remarks : " You face 
 up Mary, you love Mary ; Mary is a good girl. You 
 will marry Mary at last ; but Mary is not now here 
 
48 The Witches of New York. 
 
 Mary is far away ; but do not fear, for you shall 
 have Mary." 
 
 Then she proposed to tell the name of our reporter 
 in the same mysterious manner, and on being told 
 that it contains eight letters, the first of which is "M," 
 she turned to her register and again began to read. 
 It so happens that the proper names answering to the 
 description are very few, and the right one did not 
 happen to be on her list; so in a short time the 
 greasy prophetess became confused, and slipped off 
 the track entirely, and after asking about two hun- 
 dred names of various dimensions, from Mark to 
 Melchisedek, she gave it up in despair and glared 
 on her twelve-shilling patron as if she thought he was 
 trifling with her, and she would like to eat him up 
 alive for his presumption. 
 
 Then she suddenly changed her mode of operation 
 and made the fearful remark : " ISTow you may wish 
 three wishes, and I will tell whether you will get 
 them or not." 
 
 She then laid out the cards into three piles, and 
 
Madame Prewster, No. 373 Bowery. 49 
 
 her visitor stated his wishes aloud, and received the 
 gratifying information in three instalments, that he 
 would live to be rich, to marry the light-haired 
 maiden, and to effectually smash the dark-complex- 
 ioned man. 
 
 Then she said : " You may now wish one wish in 
 secret, and I will tell you whether you will get it." 
 Our avaricious hero instantly wished for an enor- 
 mous amount of ready money, which she kindly 
 promised, but which he has not yet seen the color of. 
 
 He asked about his prospective wives and children, 
 with unsatisfactory results. One wife and four chil- 
 dren was, she said, the outside limit. At this juncture 
 she began to wriggle uneasily in her chair, and her 
 considerate patron respected her "rheumatics" and 
 took his leave. This conference, although the re- 
 sults may be read by a glib-tongued person in five 
 minutes, occupied more than three-quarters of an 
 hour Madame Prewster's diction being slow and 
 ponderous in proportion to her size. 
 
 He now prepared to depart, and with a parting 
 
50 The Witches of New York. 
 
 contortion of his countenance, of terrible malignity, 
 at the unfortunate baby, which caused that weird brat 
 to fling itself flat on its back and scream in agony of 
 fear, he informed the Madame with mock deference 
 that he would not wait any longer. He was then 
 attended to the door by the bellicose maiden, who 
 seemed to have fathomed his deep dealings with the 
 infuriate infant, and to be desirous of giving him 
 bloody battle in the hall, but as he had remarked that 
 she had a rolling-pin hidden under her apron, and 
 as he was somewhat awed by the sanguinary look of 
 her dish-cloth, he choked down his blood-thirstiness 
 and ingloriously retreated. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 Wherein are related divers strange things of Madame Bruce, 
 
 the " Mysterious Veiled Lady," of No. 
 
 513 Broome Street. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 MADAME BRUCE, "THE MYSTERIOUS VEILED 
 LADY," NO. 513 BROOME STREET. 
 
 THE woman who assumes the title of " The Myste- 
 rious Yelled Lady," is much younger in the Black 
 Art trade than Madame Prewster, and has only been 
 publicly known as a "Fortune-Teller" for about six 
 years. The mysterious veil is assumed partly for the 
 very mystery's sake, and partly to hide a countenance 
 which some of her visitors might desire to identify on 
 after occasions. She confines herself more exclusively 
 to telling fortunes than do many of the others, and 
 has never yet made her appearance in a Police Court 
 to answer to an accusation of a grave crime. She 
 has many customers, and might have a respectable 
 account at the bank if she were disposed to commit 
 
54 The Witches of New York. 
 
 her moneys to the care of those careful institu- 
 tions. 
 
 It may be mentioned here, however, as a curious 
 fact, that although all the " witches " profess to be able 
 to "tell lucky numbers," and will at any time give a 
 paying customer the exact figures which they are wil- 
 ling to prophesy will draw the capital prize in any 
 given lottery, their skill invariably fails them when 
 they undertake to do anything in the wheel-of-for- 
 tune way on their own individual behalf. No one of 
 the professional fortune-tellers was ever known to 
 draw a rich prize in a lottery, or to make a particu- 
 larly lucky " hit " on a policy number, notwithstand- 
 ing the fact that most of them make large investments 
 in those uncertain financial speculations. Madame 
 Bruce is no exception to this general rule, and the 
 propinquity of the " lottery agency " and the " policy- 
 shop," just round the corner, must be accepted in 
 explanation of the fact that this gifted lady has no 
 balance in her favor at the banker's. 
 
 The quality of her magic and other interesting facts 
 
Madame Bruce. 55 
 
 about her are best set forth in the words of the 
 anxious seeker after hidden lore, who paid her a visit 
 one pleasant afternoon in August. 
 
 The " Individual" visits Madame Bruce and has a Confer- 
 ence with that Mysterious Veiled Personage. 
 
 A man of strong nerves can recover from the 
 effects of a professional interview with the ponderous 
 Prewster in about a week ; delicately organized per- 
 sons, particularly susceptible to supernatural influ- 
 ences, might be so overpowered by the manifestations 
 oT her cabalistic lore as to affect their appetites for a 
 whole lunar month, and have bad dreams till the 
 moon changed ; but the daring traveller of this vera- 
 cious history was convalescent in ten days. It is true, 
 that, even after that time, he, in his dreams, would 
 imagine himself engaged in protracted single combats 
 with the heroine of the rolling-pin, and once or twice 
 awoke in an agony of fear, under the impression that he 
 had been worsted in the fight, and that the conquering 
 fair one was about to cook him in a steamer, or stew 
 
56 The Witches of New York. 
 
 him into charity soup, and season him strong with red 
 pepper ; or broil him on a gridiron and serve him up 
 on toast to Madame Prewster, like a huge woodcock. 
 In one gastronomic nightmare of a dream he even 
 fancied that the triumphant maiden had tied him, hand 
 and foot, with links of sausages, then tapped his head 
 with an auger, screwed a brass faucet into his help- 
 less skull, and was preparing to draw off his brains in 
 small quantities to suit cannibalic retail customers. 
 
 But he eventually recovered his equanimity, his 
 nocturnal visions of the warlike servant became less 
 terrible, and he gradually ceased to think of her, ex- 
 cept with a dim sort of half-way remembrance, as of 
 some fearful danger, from which many years before 
 he had been miraculously preserved. 
 
 "When he had reached this state of mind, he was 
 ready to proceed with his inquiries into the mysteries 
 of the cheap and nasty necromancy of the day, and 
 to encounter the rest of the fifty-cent Sj^bils with an 
 unperturbed spirit. Accordingly, he girded up his 
 loins, and prepared the necessary amount of one dol- 
 
Madame Bruce. 57 
 
 lar bills ; for, with a most politic and necessary care- 
 fulness, he always made his own change. 
 
 [Note of caution to the future observer of these 
 Modern Witches: Never let one of them "break" a 
 large bank-bill for you, and give you small notes in 
 exchange, lest the small bills be much more badly 
 broken than the large one. Not that the witches' 
 money, like the fairies' gold, will be likely to turn 
 into chips and pebbles in your pocket, but all these 
 fortune-tellers are expert passers of counterfeit and 
 broken bank-notes and bogus coin ; and they never 
 lose an opportunity thus to victimize a customer.] 
 
 Fortified with dinner, dessert, and cigars, the cash 
 customer departed on his voyage of discovery in 
 search of " MADAME BRUCE, THE MYSTERIOUS VEILED 
 LADY," who carries on all the business she can get by 
 the subjoined advertisement : 
 
 " ASTONISHING TO ALL. Madame BRUCE, the Mysterious Yelled 
 Lady, can be consulted on all events of life, at No. 513 Broome 
 st., one door from Thompson. She is a second-sight seer, and 
 was born with a natural gift." 
 
58 The Witches of New York. 
 
 The " Individual," modestly speaking of himself in 
 the third person, admits that, being then a single man 
 of some respectability, he was at that very period 
 looking out for a profitable partner of his bosom, sor- 
 rows, joys, and expenses. He naturally preferred one 
 who could do something towards taking a share of the 
 expensive responsibility of a family off his hands, 
 and was not disposed to object to one who was even 
 afflicted with money ; next to that woman, whom he 
 had not yet discovered, a lady with a " natural gift " 
 for money-making was evidently the most eligible of 
 matrimonial speculations. Whether he really cher- 
 ished an humble hope that the veil of Madame Bruce 
 might be of semi-transparent stuff, and that she might 
 discover and be smitten by his manly.charms, and ask 
 his hand in marriage, and eventually bear him away, 
 a blushing husband, to the altar, or whatever might be 
 hastily substituted for that connubial convenience, 
 will never be officially known to the world. Certain 
 it is that he expected great results of some sort to 
 eventuate from his visit to this obnubilated prophetess, 
 
Madame Bruce. 59 
 
 and that he paid extraordinary attention to the deco- 
 ration of the external homo, and to the administration 
 of encouraging stimuli to the inner individual, proba- 
 bly with a view to submerge, for the time, his charac- 
 teristic bashfulness, before he set out to visit the fair 
 inscrutable of Broome-street. 
 
 The nature of his secret cogitations, as he walked 
 along, was somewhat as follows, though he himself 
 has never before revealed the same to mortal man. 
 
 He was of course uncertain as to her personal 
 attractiveness ; owing to that mysterious veil there 
 was a doubt as to her surpassing beauty. At any 
 rate he did not regret the time spent on his toilet. 
 
 Madame Bruce might be a lady of the most trans- 
 cendent loveliness, or she might possess a coun- 
 tenance after the style of Mokanna, the Yeiled Pro- 
 phet ; in either case, a clean shirt collar and a little 
 extra polish on the boots would be a touching tribute 
 of respect He thought over the stories of the Ori- 
 ental ladies, so charmingly and complexly described 
 in the " Arabian Nights' Entertainments," and in 
 
60 The Witches of New York. 
 
 some strange way he connected Madame Bruce with 
 Eastern associations ; he remembered that in Asiatic 
 countries the arts of enchantment are the staple of 
 fashionable female education ; that the women imbibe 
 the elements of magic from their wet nurses, and that 
 their power of charming is gradually and surely de- 
 veloped by years and competent instructors, until 
 they are able to go forth into the world, and raise the 
 devil on their own hook. 
 
 In this case the veil was of the East, Eastern ; and 
 what was more probable than that the " Mysterious 
 Yeiled Lady" was that fascinating Oriental young 
 woman whose attainments in magic made her the dire 
 terror of her enemies, most of whom she changed into 
 pigs, and oxen, and monkeys, and other useful domes- 
 tic animals ; who had transformed her unruly grand- 
 father into a cat of the species called Tom ; had meta- 
 morphosed her vicious aunt into a screech-owl, and 
 had turned an ungentlemanly second-cousin into a 
 one-eyed donkey. 
 
 What a treasure, thought the " Individual," would 
 
Madame Bruce- 61 
 
 such an accomplished wife be in republican America, 
 how exceedingly useful in the case of her hus- 
 band's rivals for Custom-house honors, and how in- 
 valuable when creditors become clamorous. "What a 
 perfect treasure would a wife be who could turn a 
 clamorous butcher into spring lamb, and his brown 
 apron and leather breeches into the indispensable peas 
 and mint-sauce to eat him with ; who could make the 
 rascally baker instantly become a green parrot with 
 only power to say, " Pretty Polly wants a cracker ;" 
 who could transform the dunning tailor into a greater 
 goose than any in his own shop ; who could go to 
 Stewart's, buy a couple of thousands of dollars' worth 
 of goods, and then turn the clerks into cockroaches, 
 and scrunch them with her little gaiter if they inter- 
 fered with her walking off with the plunder ; or who, 
 in the event of a scarcity of money, could invite a 
 select party of fifty or sixty friends to a nice little 
 dinner, and then change the whole lot into lions, 
 tigers, giraffes, elephants, and ostriches, and sell the 
 entire batch to Yan Amburgh & Co. at a high pre- 
 
62 The Witches of New York. 
 
 mium, as a freshly imported menagerie, all very fat 
 and valuable. 
 
 Then he came down from this rather elevated flight 
 of fancy, and filled away on another tack. Before he 
 reached the house he had fully made up his mind 
 that Madame Bruce, the Mysterious Veiled Lady, 
 must be a stray Oriental Princess in reduced circum- 
 stances, cruelly thrust from the paternal mansion by 
 the infuriated proprietor, her father, and compelled to 
 seek her fortune in a strange land. He had never 
 seen a princess, and he resolved to treat this one with 
 all respect and loyal veneration ; to do this, if possi- 
 ble, without compromising his conscience as a repub- 
 lican and a voter in the tenth ward, but to do it at 
 all hazards. 
 
 The immense fortune which would undoubtedly be 
 hers in the event of the relenting of her brutal though 
 opulent father, suggested the feasibility of a future 
 elopement, and a legal marriage, according to the 
 forms of any country that she preferred he couldn't 
 bethink him of a Persian justice of the peace, but he 
 
Madame Bruce. 63 
 
 did not despair of being able to manage it to her 
 entire and perfect satisfaction. 
 
 Her undoubted great misfortunes had touched his 
 tender heart. He would see this suffering Princess 
 he would tender his sympathy and offer his hand and 
 the fortune he hoped she would be able to make for 
 him. If this was haughtily declined there would 
 still remain the poor privilege of buying a dose of 
 magic, paying the price in current money, and letting 
 her make her own change. 
 
 Having matured this disinterested resolve, he pro- 
 ceeded calmly on his journey, wondering as he walked 
 along, whether, in the event of a gracious reception 
 by his Princess, it would be more courtly and correct 
 to kneel on both knees, or to make an Oriental cushion 
 of his overcoat and sit down cross-legged on the floor. 
 
 This knotty point was not settled to his entire 
 satisfaction when he reached that lovely portion of 
 fairy-land near the angle of Broome and Thompson 
 streets. The Princess had taken up her temporary 
 residence in the tenant-house No. 513 Broome, 
 
64 The Witches of New York. 
 
 which elegant mansion affords a refuge to about 
 seventeen other families, mostly Hibernian, without 
 very high pretensions to aristocracy. 
 
 His ring at the door of the noble mansion was 
 answered by a grizzly woman speaking French very 
 badly broken, in fact irreparably fractured. This 
 grizzly Gaul let him into the house, heard his request 
 to see Madame Bruce, and then she called to a shock- 
 headed boy who was looking over the bannisters, to 
 come and take the visitor in charge. 
 
 Two minutes' observation convinced the distin- 
 guished caller that the servants of the Princess were 
 not particular in the matter of dirt. 
 
 The walls were stained, discolored, and bedaubed, 
 and the floor had a sufficient thickness of soil for a 
 vegetable garden ; at one end of the hall, indeed, an 
 Irish woman was on her knees, making experimental 
 excavations, possibly with a view to planting early 
 lettuce and peppergrass. 
 
 A glance at the shock-headed boy showed a 
 peculiarity in his visual organs; his eyes, which 
 
Madame Bruce. 65 
 
 were black naturally, had evidently suffered in some 
 kind of a fisticuff demonstration, and one of them 
 still showed the marks ; it was twice black, naturally 
 and artificially ; it had a dual nigritude, and might, 
 perhaps, be called a double-barrelled black eye. This 
 pleasant young man conducted his visitor to the top 
 of the first flight of stairs, where he said, " Please 
 stop here a minute," and disappeared into the Prin- 
 cess's room, leaving her devoted slave alone in the 
 hall with two aged wash-tubs and a battered broom. 
 There ensued an immediate flurry in the rooms of 
 the Princess, and the customer thought of the forty 
 black slaves, with jars of jewels on their heads, who, 
 in Oriental countries, are in the habit of receiving 
 princesses' visitors with all the honors. He hardly 
 thought to see the forty black slaves, with the jars of 
 gems, but rather expected the shock-headed youth 
 to presently reappear, with a mug of rubies, or a 
 kettle of sapphires and emeralds, and invite him in 
 courtly language to help himself to a few or, that 
 that active young man would presently come out with 
 
66 The Witches of New York. 
 
 an amethyst snuff-box full of diamond-dust and ask 
 him to take a pinch, and then present him with that 
 expensive article as a slight token of respect from 
 the Princess. 
 
 " Not so, not so, my child." 
 
 The great shuffling and pitching about of things 
 continued, as if the furniture had been indulging in an 
 extemporaneous jig, and couldn't stop on so short a 
 notice, or else objected to any interruption of the 
 festivities. 
 
 Finally the rattling of chairs and tables subsided 
 into a calm, and the boy reappeared. He came, how- 
 ever, without the tea-kettle full of valuables, and 
 minus even the snuff-box ; he merely remarked, with 
 an insinuating wink of the lightest-colored eye, 
 " Please to walk this way." 
 
 It did please his auditor to walk in the designated 
 direction, and he entered the room, when the eye 
 spoke again to a very low accompaniment of the 
 voice, as if he was afraid he might damage that organ 
 by playing on it too loudly. 
 
Madame Bruce. 67 
 
 The anxious visitor looked for the Princess, but 
 not seeing her, or the slaves with the pots of jewels, - 
 and observing, also, that the chairs were not too luxu- 
 riously gorgeous for people to sit on, he sat down. 
 
 A single glance convinced him that the Princess 
 could have had no opportunity to carry off her jewels 
 from her eastern home, or that she must have spent 
 the proceeds before she furnished her present domi- 
 cile. An iron bedstead, a small cooking-stove, four 
 chairs, and a table, on which the breakfast crockery 
 stood unwashed, was the amount of the furniture. A 
 dirty slatternly young woman of about twenty-three 
 years, with filthy hands and uncombed hair, and whose 
 clothes looked as if they had been tossed on with a 
 pitchfork, seated herself in one of the chairs and com- 
 menced conversation not in Persian. It was one 
 o'clock, P.M., but she attempted an apology for the 
 unmade bed, the unswept room, the unwashed break- 
 fast dishes, and the untidy appearance of everything. 
 Before she had concluded her fruitless explanation, 
 the boy with the variegated eye suddenly came from 
 
68 The Witches of New York. 
 
 a closet which the customer had not noticed and was 
 unprepared for, and said, in winning tones, " Please 
 to walk in this room," which was done, with some 
 fear and no little trembling, whereupon the optical 
 youth incontinently vanished. 
 
 At last, then, the imaginative visitor stood in the 
 presence of royalty, and beheld the wronged Princess 
 of his heart. He was about to drop on his bended 
 knees to pay his premeditated homage, but a hurried 
 glance at the floor showed that such a course of pro- 
 ceeding would result in the ineffaceable soiling of his 
 best pantaloons ; so he stood sturdily erect. 
 
 Before he suffered his eyes to rest upon the peerless 
 beauty who, he was convinced, stood before him, he 
 took a survey of the regal apartment. 
 
 An unpainted pine table stood in the corner, a gau- 
 dily colored shade was at the window, and an iron 
 single bedstead upon which the clothes had been has- 
 tily " spread up," and two chairs, on one of which sat 
 the enchantress, completed the list. 
 
 The Princess was attired in deep black, and a thick 
 
Madame Bruce. 69 
 
 black veil, reaching from lier head to her waist, en- 
 ijrely concealed her features from the beholders who 
 still devoutly believed in her royal birth and cruel 
 misfortunes nor was this belief dissipated until she 
 spoke; but when she called "Pete" to the double- 
 barrelled youth with the eye, and gave him a " blow- 
 ing up" in the most emphatic kind of English for not 
 bringing her pocket-handkerchief, then the beautiful 
 Princess of his imagination vanished into the thin- 
 nest kind of air, and there remained only the unro- 
 mantic reality of a very vulgar woman, in a very dirty 
 dress, and who had a very bad cold in her head. 
 There was still a hope that she might be pretty, and 
 her would-be admirer fervently trusted that she might 
 be compelled to lift her veil to blow her nose, but she 
 didn't do it. Then he offered her his hand, not in 
 marriage, but for her to read his fortune in, and stood, 
 no longer trembling with expectation, but with stony 
 indifference, for as he approached her, a strong odor 
 of an onion-laden breath from beneath the veil, gave 
 the death-blow to the fair creature of his imagination, 
 
70 The Witches of New York. 
 
 and convinced him that he had got the wrong 
 Princess by the fist. She looked at him closely for a 
 couple of minutes, and then spoke these words the 
 peculiar pronunciation being probably induced by the 
 cold in her head. 
 
 " You are a badd who has saw a great beddy chad- 
 ges add it seebs here as if you was goidg to be bore 
 settled in the future it seebs here like as if you had 
 sobetibes in your life beed very buch cast dowd, but 
 it seebs here like as if you had always got up agaid. 
 It seebs here like as if you had saw id your past life 
 sobe lady what you liked very buch add had* beed 
 disappointed it seebs here like as if there was two 
 barriages for you, wud id a very short tibe wud lady 
 seebs here to stadd very dear to you, add you two bay 
 be barried or you bay dot if you are dot already 
 barried you will be very sood it seebs here as if you 
 woulddt have a very large fabily five childred will 
 be all that you will have you will have a good deal 
 of buddy (money) id your life sobe of your relatives 
 what you dever have saw will sood die add leave you 
 
Madame Bruce. 71 
 
 sobe property but you will dot be expectidg it add 
 ituseebs here as if you would have trouble id getting 
 it, for there will sobe wud else try to get it away frob 
 you it seebs as if the lady you will barry will dot be 
 too dark cobplexiod, dor yet too light dot too tall, 
 dor yet very short, dot too large, dor too thid she 
 thidks a great deal of you, bore thad you do of her, 
 you have already saw her id the course of your life, 
 and she loves you very buch. There are people about 
 you id your busidess who are dot so buch your friends 
 as they preted to be you are goidg to bake sub 
 chadge* id your busidess, it will be a good thidg for 
 you add will cub out buch better thad you expect." 
 
 Here she stopped and intimated that she would an- 
 swer any questions that her customer desired to ask, 
 and in reply to his interrogatories the following im- 
 portant information was elicited : 
 
 " You will be lodg lived, add you will have two 
 wives, add will live beddy years with your first wife." 
 
 The " Individual" proclaimed himself satisfied, and 
 paid his money, whereupon Madame Bruce instantly 
 
72 The Witches of New York. 
 
 jelled "Pete," when the Eye-Boy reappeared to show 
 the door, and the Cash Customer departed, leaving the 
 Mysterious Veiled Lady shivering on her stool, and 
 exceedingly desirous of an opportunity to use her 
 pocket-handkerchief. 
 
 And this is all there was of the Persian Princess. 
 As the seeker after wisdom went away he made one 
 single audible remark by way of consoling himself for 
 his crushed hopes and blighted anonymous love. It 
 was to this effect. " I believe she squints, and I know 
 she's got bad teeth." 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Relates the marvellous performances of" Madame Widger, 
 
 of No. 3, First Avenue, and how she looks 
 
 into the future through a Paving-Stone. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 MADAME WIDGER, No. 3 FIRST AVENUE. 
 
 MADAME WIDGER came from Albany to this city 
 about four years ago, and at once set up as an "As- 
 trologer." She has been a " witch" for a great many 
 years, and has, directly and indirectly, done about as 
 much mischief as it is possible for one person to accom- 
 plish in the same length of time. She was a woman 
 of great repute in and about Albany, as a fortune- 
 teller, and was supposed to be conversant with prac- 
 tices more criminal. She at last became so well 
 known as a bad woman, that she found it advisable to 
 leave Albany, after she had settled certain law-suits in 
 which she had become entangled. 
 
 Among other speculations of hers, in that place, 
 she once sued the city to recover indemnifying mo- 
 
76 The Witches of New York. 
 
 neys for certain imaginary damages, alleged to have 
 been done to her property by the unbidden entrance 
 of the river into her private apartments, during one 
 of the periodical inundations with which Albany is 
 favored. By the shrewd management of certain of 
 her lawyer friends with whom she had business deal- 
 ings, she at last got a judgment against the city, but, 
 owing to some other awkward law complications, it 
 became expedient to change her place of residence 
 before she had collected her money, and the amount 
 remains unpaid to this day. 
 
 She then came to this city, and set up in the Sorce- 
 ress way, and, by dint of advertising, she soon got a 
 good many customers. She now has as much to do 
 as she can easily manage to get along with, is making 
 a good deal of money by "Astrology," and by other 
 more unscrupulous means ; and she is probably worth 
 some considerable property. She is a bold, brazen, 
 ignorant, unscrupulous, dangerous woman. She has 
 some peculiar ways of her own in telling the fortunes 
 of her visitors, and is the only person in the city who 
 
Madame Widger. 77 
 
 professes to read the future through a magic stone, or 
 "second-sight pebble." Her manner of using this 
 wonderful geological specimen is fully described here- 
 after. 
 
 The "Individual" Visits a Grim Witch, who reads his Future 
 through a Moderate-Sized Paving Stone. 
 
 Disappointed in his fond hope of discovering, in the 
 person of Madame Bruce, an eligible partner, who 
 should bridal him and lead him coyly to the altar, 
 that bourne from which no bachelor returns, the Cash 
 Customer was for many days downcast in his demeanor 
 and neglectful of his person. When he eventually 
 recovered from his strong attack of Madame Bruce, 
 he was not by any means cured of his romantic 
 desire to procure a witch wife. He had carefully 
 figured up the conveniences of such an article, and 
 the sum total was an irresistible argument. 
 
 If he could win a witch of the right sort, perhaps 
 she could teach him the secret of the Philosopher's 
 Stone, and the Elixir of Life, and show him the 
 
78 The Witches of New York. 
 
 locality of the Fountain of Youth, so that he could 
 take the wrinkles out of himself and his friends, at 
 the cost of only a short journey, by railroad. A bar- 
 rel or so of that wonderful water, peddled out by the 
 bottle, would meet a readier sale and pay a larger 
 profit than any Paphian Lotion that was ever adver- 
 tised on the rocks of Jersey. All this, to say nothing 
 of a family of young wizards and sorcerers, who could, 
 by virtue of the maternal magic, swallow swords from 
 the day of their birth, do mighty feats of legerdemain, 
 such as cutting off the heads of innumerable pigs and 
 chickens, and producing the decapitated animals alive 
 again from the coat-tails of the bystanders, to the 
 astonishment of the crowd and the great emolument 
 of their proud dad. Even if these profitable babies 
 should not be natural necromancers, with the power 
 of second sight, and any quantity of " natural gifts," 
 they must surely be spirit-rappers of the most lucra- 
 tive "sphere," capable of organizing " circles," and 
 instructing "mediums," and otherwise bringing into 
 the family fund large piles of that circulating me- 
 
Madame Widger. 79 
 
 dium so much to be desired. Or, even failing this 
 popular gift, they must all be born with some strong 
 instincts of money-making vagabondism. If the girls 
 failed in fortune-telling they would certainly have a 
 genius for the tight-rope, or a decided talent for the 
 female circus and negro-minstrel business; and the 
 boys would be brought into the world with the power 
 of throwing a miraculous number of consecutive flip- 
 flaps of putting cocked hats on their juvenile heads 
 while turning somersets over long rows of Arab 
 steeds of the desert of poising their infant bodies on 
 pyramids of bottles, and drinking glasses of molasses 
 and water, under the contemptible subterfuge of wine, 
 to the health of the terror-stricken beholders or of 
 climbing to the tops of very tall poles without soiling 
 their spangled dresses, and there displaying their 
 anatomy for the admiration of the gazing multitude, 
 in divers attitudes, for the most part extraordinarily 
 wrong side up with very particular care or, at least, 
 they would be born with the astounding gift of tying 
 their young legs in double bow-knots across the backs 
 
8o The Witches of New York. 
 
 of their adolescent necks, and while in that graceful 
 position kissing their little fingers to the bewildered 
 audience. 
 
 Under the constant influence of such comfortable 
 and ennobling thoughts, it is not in the elastic nature 
 of the human mind to remain long dejected. In the 
 contemplation of the future glories of his might-be 
 wife and possible family, the "Individual" recovered 
 somewhat of his former gaiety. Remembering that 
 "Care killed a cat," he resolved that he would not be 
 chronicled as a second victim, so he kicked Care out 
 of doors, so to speak, and warned Despair and Dis- 
 couragement off the premises. 
 
 He attired him in his best, and appeared once 
 more before the world in the joyful garb of a man 
 with Hope in his heart and money in his pantaloons. 
 In fact, so radiant did he appear, that he might have 
 been set down for a person who had just had a new 
 main of joy laid on in his heart, and had turned the 
 cocks of all the pipes, and let on the full head just 
 to see how the new apparatus worked. Or, as if 
 
Madame Widger. 81 
 
 he'd been in a shower-bath of good-nature, and 
 come out dripping. 
 
 He also took kindly to that innocuous beverage, 
 lager bier, which was a good sign in itself, inas- 
 much as he had, for a few days, been drinking as 
 many varieties of strong drinks, as if he'd been 
 brought up on Professor Anderson's Inexhaustible 
 Bottle, and had never overcome the influences of his 
 infant education. 
 
 Seeking out a friend to whom he confided his 
 hopes of a lucrative wife and a profitable progeny, 
 the Cash Customer suggested that they proceed im- 
 mediately in search of the fair enchantress who was 
 to be his comfort and consolation, for the rest of his 
 respectable life. 
 
 Being somewhat disgusted with the result of his 
 visit to the witch with the romantic designation of 
 the " Mysterious Veiled Lady," he had determined 
 to seek out one on this occasion with the most com- 
 mon-place and e very-day cognomen, in the whole 
 
 list. There being a Madame Widger in that delight- 
 
 4* 
 
82 The Witches, of New York. 
 
 ful catalogue, of course Widger was the one selected. 
 It is true, she sometimes advertised herself as the 
 "Mysterious Spanish Lady," but in the judgment of 
 the Individual, the Widger was too much for the 
 Spanish and the mystery. 
 
 So Madame "Widger was resolved on. Her mo- 
 dest advertisement is given, that the impartial reader 
 may be brought to acknowledge that the induce- 
 ments to wed the Widger were not of the common 
 order. 
 
 "MADAME WIDGER, the Natural-Gifted Astrologist, Second- 
 Sight Seer and Doctress, tells past, present, and future events ; 
 love, courtship, marriage, absent friends, sickness; prescribes 
 medicines for all diseases, property lost or stolen, at No. 3 First- 
 av., near Houston-st" 
 
 The slight lack of perspicuity in this announce- 
 ment seems to be a mysterious peculiarity, common 
 to all the Fortune Tellers, as if they were all imbued 
 with the same commendable contempt for all the 
 rules of English grammar. 
 
Madame Widger. 83 
 
 The voyager being attired in a captivating costume, 
 and being also provided with pencils and paper to 
 make a life-sketch, with a view to an expansive portrait 
 of his enslaver, whose beauty was with him a foregone 
 conclusion, set out with his faithful friend for the de- 
 lightful locality mentioned in the advertisement, where 
 the charming Circe, Widger, held her magic court. 
 
 He was not aware, at that time, that his intended 
 bride was not a- blushing blooming maiden, but an 
 ancient dame, whose very wrinkles date back into 
 the eighteenth century. But of that hereafter. 
 
 Tic was determined to have her tell his "love, 
 courtship, or marriage, absent friends, or sickness," 
 and to insist that she should "prescribe medicines 
 for property lost or stolen," according to the exact 
 wording of the advertisement. 
 
 The doughty "Individual" trembled somewhat, 
 with an undefined sensation of awe, as though some 
 fearful ordeal was before him to use his own elegant 
 and forcible language, he felt as though he was going 
 to encounter an earthquake with volcano trimmings. 
 
84 The Witches of New York. 
 
 " It is the fluttering of new-born love in your manly 
 bosom," remarked his companion. 
 
 " Well," was the reply, " if a baby love kicks so 
 very like a horse of vicious propensities, a full-grown 
 Cupid would be so unmanageable as to defy the very 
 Karey and all his works." 
 
 Without any noteworthy adventure they kept on 
 their way to the First Avenue, and in due time stood, 
 awe-struck, before the mansion of the enchantress. 
 
 After the first impression had worn off, the scene 
 was somewhat stripped of its mysteriousness, and 
 assumed an aspect commonplace, not to say seedy. 
 As soon as the sense of bewilderment with which they 
 at first gazed upon the domicile of the mysterious 
 damsel so favored of the fates, had passed away, they 
 found themselves in a condition to make the obser- 
 vations of the place and its surroundings that are 
 detailed below. 
 
 The house, a three-story brick, seemed to have that 
 architectural disease which is a perpetual epidemic 
 among the tenant-houses of the city, and which makes 
 
Madame Widger. 85 
 
 them look as if they had all been dipped in a strong 
 solution of something that had taken the skin off. 
 The paint was blistered and peeling off in flakes ; the 
 blinds were hanging cornerwise by solitary hinges ; the 
 shingles were starting from their places with a strange 
 air of disquietude, as if some mighty hand had stroked 
 them the wrong way ; the door-steps were shaky and 
 crazy in the knees ; the door itself had a curious air 
 of debility and emaciation, and the bell-knob was too 
 weak to return to its place after it had feebly done its 
 brazen duty. There was no door-plate, but on a bat- 
 tered tin sign was blazoned, in fat letters, the mystic 
 word " Widger." The Cash Customer rang the bell, 
 not once merely, or twice, but continuously, in pur- 
 suance of a dogma which he laid down as follows : 
 
 " It is a mistake to ever stop ringing till somebody 
 comes. The feebler you ring, the more the servants 
 think you're a dun, and therefore the more they don't 
 come to let you in but if you keep it up regularly 
 they'll think you're a rich relation and will rush to the 
 
 rescue." 
 
86 The Witches of New York. 
 
 So lie kept on, and the voice of the bell sharply 
 clattered through the dismal old house, making as 
 much noise as if it suddenly wakened a thousand 
 echoes that had been locked up there for many years 
 without the power to speak till now. If a timid ring 
 denotes a dun, and a boisterous one a rich relation, 
 then must the inhabitants of that cleanly suburb have 
 been convinced that the present performer on the bell 
 not only had no claims as a creditor on the people of 
 the house, but was a rich California uncle, come to give 
 each adult member of that happy family a gold mine 
 or so, and to distribute a cart-load of diamonds among 
 the children. 
 
 The door at last was opened by an uncertain old 
 man with very weak eyes, who appeared to have, in 
 a milder form, the same malady which afflicted the 
 house ; perhaps he was a twin, and suffered from bro- 
 therly sympathy at any rate the dilapidating disease 
 had touched him sorely ; its ravages were particularly 
 noticeable, in the toes of his boots and the elbows of 
 his coat. Violent remedies had evidently been ap- 
 
Madame Widger. 87 
 
 plied in the latter case, but the patches were of differ- 
 ent colors, and suggestive of the rag-bag; the boots 
 were past hope of convalescence ; his shirt-collar was 
 sunk under a greasy billow of a neckcloth, and only 
 one slender string was visible to show where it had 
 gone down ; the nether garment was a ragged wreck, 
 that set a hundred tattered sails to every breeze, but 
 was anchored fast at the shoulder with a single dis- 
 reputable suspender. 
 
 Guided by this equivocal individual the two visitors 
 entered a small shabbily furnished room, and be- 
 stowed themselves in a couple of treacherous chairs, 
 in pursuance of an imbecile invitation from the bat- 
 tered old gentleman. 
 
 The anticipations of the enthusiastic lover again 
 began to fall, and in five minutes his heart, which so 
 lately was "burning with high hope," was so cold as 
 to be uncomfortable. 
 
 On a seven-by-nine cooking-stove, which three pints 
 of coal would have driven blazing crazy, stood a 
 diminutive iron kettle, in which something was noisily 
 
88 The Witches of New York. 
 
 stewing; the something may have been a decoction 
 of magic herbs, or it may have been Madame 
 Widger's dinner. A tumble-down trunk in a corner 
 of the room did precarious duty for a chair ; a faded 
 carpet hid the floor ; a cheap rocking-chair in the act 
 of moulting its upholstery spread its luxurious arms 
 invitingly near the dim window; and a table, on 
 which a pack of German playing cards was coyly half 
 concealed by a newspaper, a coal-hod, and a poker, 
 completed the necessary furnishing of the apartment. 
 
 The ornaments are soon inventoried ; a certificate 
 of membership of the New York State Agricultural 
 Society, given at Albany to Mr. M. Gr. Bivins, hung 
 in a cheap frame over the table. The other decora- 
 tions were a few prints of high-colored saints, an 
 engraving of a purple Virgin Mary with a pea-green 
 child, and a picture of a blue Joseph being sold by 
 yellow brethren to a crowd of scarlet merchants who 
 were paying for him with money that looked like 
 peppermint lozenges. 
 
 Madame Widger, the " Mysterious Spanish Lady," 
 
Madame Widger. 89 
 
 was not at first visible to the naked eye, but a loud, 
 shrill, vicious voice, which made itself heard through 
 the partition dividing the reception-room from some 
 apartment as yet unexplored by them, directed the 
 attention of her visitors to her exact locality. 
 
 She was "engaged" with another gentleman, said 
 the knight of the ragged inexpressibles. 
 
 Had not what he had already seen of the mansion 
 decidedly cooled the passion of the love-lorn cus- 
 tomer, this intelligence would have been likely to 
 rouse his ire against the interloping swain, and make 
 him pant for vengeance and fistic damages to the 
 other party ; but in his present confused state of mind 
 he received this blow with philosophic indifference. 
 
 The old man subsided into a chair, and in a weak 
 sort of way began to talk, evidently with some insane 
 idea of pleasingly filling up the time until the pro- 
 phetess should be disengaged. His conversation 
 seemed to run to disasters, with a particular partiality 
 to shipwrecks. He accordingly detailed, with won- 
 derful exactness, the perils encountered by a certain 
 
90 The Witches of New York. 
 
 canal-boat of his, " loaded principally with butter and 
 cheese,' 7 during a dangerous voyage from Albany to 
 New York, and which was finally brought safely to 
 a secure harbor by the power of the Widger, which 
 circumstance had made him her slave for life. 
 
 The shrill voice then ceased, and the person to 
 whom it had been addressed came forth. The lime 
 on his blue jean garments, and the cloudy appearance 
 of his boots, declared him to be something in the 
 mason line. He deported himself with becoming 
 reverence, and departed in apparent awe. He did not 
 look like a dangerous rival, and he was not mo- 
 lested. 
 
 A discreditable and disordered head now thrust 
 itself out of the mysterious closet, opened its mouth, 
 and the vicious voice said : "I will see you now, sir." 
 The sighing swain, with a fluttering heart and 
 unsteady steps, summoned his courage and entered 
 the place, to him as mysterious as was Bluebeard's 
 golden-keyed closet to his ninth wife. The first 
 glance at Madame Widger at once scattered again all 
 
Madame Widger. gi 
 
 liis dreams of love and of happiness with that potent 
 and fearful female. 
 
 He encountered a cadaverous bony -looking woman, 
 very tall, very old, though with hair still black ; with 
 grey eyes, and false gleaming teeth. She was attired 
 in calico; quality, ten cents a yard; appearance, 
 dirty. Hardly was the door closed, when the vicious 
 voice spitefully remarked, "Sit down, sir;" and a 
 skinny finger pointed to a cane-bottomed chair. 
 While seating himself and taking off his gloves, he 
 took an observation. 
 
 The apartment was not large ; in an unfurnished 
 state, a moderately -hooped belle might have stood in 
 it without serious damage to her outskirts, but there 
 would be little extra room for any enterprising 
 adventurer to circumnavigate her. In one corner 
 was a small pine light-stand, on which was a sceptical 
 looking Bible, with a very black brass key tied in it ; 
 a volume of Cowper bound in full calf; a little lamp 
 with a single lighted wick, and a pile of the Madame's 
 business handbills. 
 
92 The Witches of New York. 
 
 She at once showed her experience of human nature 
 and her distrust of her present visitor by her practical 
 and matter-of-fact conduct. 
 
 She sat uncomfortably down on the very edge of 
 an angular chair, folded her hands, shut herself half 
 up like a jack-knife, and the vicious voice mentioned 
 this fearful fact : " My terms are a dollar for gentle- 
 men;" and the grey eyes stonily stared until the 
 dollar aforesaid was produced. 
 
 The voice then prepared for business by sun- 
 dry "Ahems!" and when fairly in working order 
 it proceeded: "Give me your hand your left 
 hand." 
 
 The Widger took the extended palm in her shri- 
 velled fingers andmade four rapid dabs in the middle of 
 it with the forefinger of her other hand, as if she were 
 scornfully pointing out defects in its workmanship ; 
 then she opened the drawer of the little stand with a 
 spiteful jerk, and withdrew thence something which 
 she put to her sinister optic, and began rapidly screw- 
 ing it round v/ith both hands, as if she had got water 
 
Madame Widger. 93 
 
 on the brain and was trying to tap herself in 
 the eye. 
 
 Then the vicious voice began, in a loud mechanical 
 manner, to speak with the greatest volubility, running 
 the sentences together, and not thinking of a comma 
 or a period till her breath was exhausted, in a man- 
 ner that would have fairly distanced Susan Nipper 
 herself, even if that rapid young lady had twenty 
 seconds the start. 
 
 " I see by looking in this stone that you was born 
 under two planets one is the planet Mars you will die 
 under the planet Jupiter but it won't be this year or 
 next you have seen a great deal of trouble and misfor- 
 tune in your past life but better days are surely in store 
 for you you have passed through many things which 
 if written in a book would make a most interesting 
 volume I see by looking more closely in the stone that 
 you are about to receive two letters one a business 
 letter the other a let " 
 
 Here her breath failed, and as soon as it came back 
 the voice continued 
 
94 The Witches of New York. 
 
 " ter from a friend it is written very closely and 
 is crossed I see by looking more closely in the stone 
 that one of the letters will contain news which will 
 distress you exceedingly for a little while but you 
 need not be troubled for it will all be for your good 
 you are soon to have an interview with a man of 
 light hair and blue eyes who will profess great 
 interest in you but he will get the advantage of you 
 if he can you must beware of him I see by kok'ng 
 more closely in the stone that you will live to be 
 68 years old but you will die before you are 70." 
 Here was another station where the locomotive voice 
 stopped to take in air, and then instantly dashed 
 ahead at a greater speed than ever. "I see by 
 looking more closely in the stone that good luck 
 will befall you a near friend will die and leave you 
 a fortune I see by looking more closely in the 
 stone that this will happen to you when you are 
 between 32 and 34 years old that is all I see in this 
 stone." 
 
 Another grab brought from the little drawer 
 
Madame Widger. 95 
 
 another pebble, which the Madame placed at her 
 eye, the boring operation was recommenced, and 
 the vicious voice once more got up steam. 
 
 " I see by looking closely in this stone that you will 
 have two wives one will be blue-eyed and the other 
 will be black-eyed with the first one you will not live 
 long but with the last one you will be happy many 
 years I see by looking more closely in the stone that 
 you will have six children which will be very com- 
 fortable the lady who is to be your first wife is at 
 this moment thinking of you I see by looking more 
 closely in the stone that a man with light hair and 
 blue eyes is trying to get her away from you but she 
 scorns him and turns away I see by looking more 
 closely in the stone that she has a strong feeling for 
 you you need not fear the man with light hair and 
 blue eyes for you will get her you and you only will 
 possess her heart I see by looking more closely in the 
 stone that she is good gentle kind loving affectionate 
 true-hearted and pleasant 
 
 (The vicious voice resented each one of these good- 
 
96 The Witches of New York. 
 
 natured adjectives, as if it had been a gross personal 
 insult to the Widger, and spit them spitefully at her 
 trembling customer, as if they tasted badly in her 
 mouth.) 
 
 " and will make you a good wife ; you will be rich 
 and happy you will be successful in business you 
 will be hereafter always lucky you will be distin- 
 guished you will be eminent you will be good you 
 will be respected you will be beloved honored che- 
 rished and will reach a good old age I see by looking 
 in this stone that is all I see by looking in this 
 stone." 
 
 Here she ceased, and choking down her indig- 
 nation, which had risen to a fearful pitch dur- 
 ing the complimentary peroration, she said, taking 
 up the equivocal Bible with the key tied in it, 
 "Take hold of the key with your finger, I will 
 give you one wish, if the book turns round you 
 will have your wish." The guest took the key in 
 the required manner, and the "Widger closed her eyes 
 and muttered something which may have been either 
 
Madame Widger. 97 
 
 a prayer or a recipe for pickling red cabbage, for lie 
 was unable to satisfy himself with any degree of 
 certainty what it was; at the appointed time the 
 book turned and the wish was therefore graciously 
 granted. 
 
 Her hearer smiled his grimmest smile, and ventured 
 to inquire if his unknown rival was making any pro- 
 gress in securing the affections of the lady in dispute, 
 and received the satisfying answer, "She scorns him 
 and turns away." Reassured by this, the susceptible 
 individual mentally and fiercely defied the blue-eyed 
 intruder to do his worst, and with a reverential obei- 
 sance left the presence. As he departed, the skinny 
 hand presented him with a handbill, but the vicious 
 voice was silent. 
 
 Carefully conning the handbill as they slowly 
 departed from the august realm of the Madame, the 
 seekers of magic for the lowest cash price read the 
 following particulars : 
 
 " Madame Widger was born with this wonderful gift of 
 revealing the destinies of man, and she has revealed mysteries 
 
98 The Witches of New York. 
 
 that no mortal knew. She states that she advertises nothing 
 but what she can do with entire satisfaction to all who wish to 
 consult her. 
 
 " Also, she will scan aright, 
 Dreams and visions of the night." 
 
 The tender inquirer went away in a desponding 
 mood. The Widger was out of the question as a 
 bride, "for she was old enough," he said, "to have 
 been grandmother to his father's uncle." 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 Discourses of Mrs. Pugh, of No. 102 South First Street, 
 
 Williamsburgh, and tells all that Nursing Sorceress 
 
 communicated to her Cash Customer. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 MRS. PUGH, No. 102 SOUTH FIRST STREET, 
 WILLIAMSBURGH. 
 
 IT is travelling a little away from home to go to 
 Williamsburgh in search of a witch, but there are 
 some peculiar circumstances about the present case, 
 that give it more than common interest. Mrs. Pugh 
 is not an advertising sorceress, but practises all her 
 magic slily, and generally under a promise of se- 
 cresy, which is exacted lest the fame of her fortune- 
 telling should come to the ears of certain respectable 
 families, who employ her as a nurse. She is much 
 resorted to by a number of young persons of both 
 sexes, and has considerable notoriety among the low 
 and ignorant classes as a practiser of the black art. 
 She is by no means the only "nurse" who is given 
 
1 02 The Witches of New York. 
 
 to this reprehensible practice, hut very many of the 
 old women who officiate as professional nurses are 
 proficients in telling fortunes with cards, and with 
 the Bible and key, and are always glad of an oppor- 
 tunity to exhibit their pretended skill. Being at 
 times received into families where there are daugh- 
 ters, not grown up, they become most dangerous 
 persons if they are encouraged or permitted to 
 thus practise on the credulity of these young 
 girls. 
 
 The mere encouragement of hurtful superstitious 
 notions is a great ill in itself, but is by no means the 
 extent of the evil done by some of these persons. 
 They not unfrequently take an active part in bringing 
 about meetings between unsuspecting girls and evil- 
 disposed men, thus paving the way to the wretched- 
 ness and ruin of the former. More than one instance 
 is known, where the going astray of a loved daugh- 
 ter can be traced directly to the mischievous teach- 
 ings of a fortune -telling nurse. 
 
 These are the reasons that give the case of Mrs. 
 
Mrs. Pugh. 103 
 
 Pugh an importance greater than attaches to many 
 others. 
 
 It is right that people should know that a certain 
 degree of circumspection ought to be used, with 
 regard to moral character, as well as other quali- 
 fications, in the selection of a nurse, lest a person 
 be employed who will work irreparable mischief 
 among the younger members of the family. 
 
 The Individual calls on a Nursing Sorceress. 
 
 Who shall say that broom-stick locomotion is a 
 lost art, and that steam has superseded magic in the 
 matter of travelling? Because no one of us has ever 
 encountered a witch on her basswood steed, shall we 
 presume to assert that witches no longer bestride bass- 
 wood steeds and make their nocturnal excursions to 
 blasted heaths, there to meet the devil in the social 
 midnight orgie, and kick up their withered heels in 
 the gay diabolical dance with other ancient females 
 of like kidney with themselves ? Because no one of 
 us has ever beheld with his own personal optics, an 
 
104 The Witches of New York. 
 
 old woman change herself into a black cat, shall we 
 therefore assert that the ancient dames of our own 
 day are unable to accomplish that feline transforma- 
 tion? "Not by no manner of means whatsomdever," 
 as Mr. Weller would remark. 
 
 Let us not then be found without charity for the 
 peculiar and persistent faith of the hero of this book, 
 who, though thrice bitterly disappointed in his matri- 
 monial speculations among the witches, still clung 
 to the fond belief that a bride with supernatural 
 powers of doing things would be a splendid specula- 
 tion, and that such a spouse could be found if he, her 
 ardent lover, did not give up the chase too soon. 
 Spite of his disappointment with Madame Bruce, and 
 his crushing discomfiture with Madame Widger, 
 Hope still sprang eternal in the "Individual's" 
 breast, and he felt, like the immortal Mr. Brown 
 of classic verse, that it would " never do to give it 
 up so." 
 
 He had something of a natural turn for mechanics, 
 and having been of late engaged in some entertaining 
 
Mrs. Pugh. 105 
 
 speculations on steam engines, he came not unnatu- 
 rally to think of the wonderful advantage the magi- 
 cally-endowed people of old had over the present age 
 in the matter of locomotion. He thought of that 
 wonderful carpet on which a jolly little party had but 
 to seat themselves and wish to be transported to any 
 far-off spot, and presto! change! there they were 
 instanter. No collisions to be feared; no running 
 off the track at a speed of ever-so-many unaccounta- 
 ble miles an hour; no cast-iron-voiced conductor at 
 short intervals demanding tickets; no old women 
 with sour babies; no obtrusive boys with double- 
 priced books and magazines; no other boys with 
 peanuts, apples, and pop-corn ; nothing, in fact, save 
 one's own social circle but a civil genie, not of Irish 
 extraction, to fly alongside to mix the juleps and 
 carry the morning paper. 
 
 It was very natural to consider whether there 
 wasn't a yard or two left somewhere of that valuable 
 carpet, and to regret that on the whole probably the 
 
 original owners had occasion to use the entire piece. 
 
 5* 
 
io6 The Witches of New York. 
 
 Then the thought was very naturally suggested of 
 the marvellous wooden horse with the pegs in his 
 neck, who soared with his riders a great deal higher 
 than does Mr. Wise in his clumsy balloon, and 
 always came down a great deal easier than ever 
 Mr. Wise did yet. Of course the Cash Customer was 
 from the start perfectly convinced that that breed of 
 horses is long since extinct, so long ago that no 
 record of them is now to be found in either the 
 " American Kacing Calendar," or the "English Stud 
 Book." 
 
 Then very naturally came thoughts of the broom- 
 stick changes of the more modern witches. Perhaps, 
 he thought, these are the colts of the wooden horse, 
 degenerate, it is true, and lacking in the grace and 
 symmetry of their extraordinary sire, but still per- 
 haps not inferior in speed or in safety of carriage. 
 
 The thought was a brilliant one, and it was really 
 worth while to inquire into the matter and pursue 
 this phantom steed until he was fairly hunted down 
 and bridled ready for use. 
 
Mrs. Pugh. 107 
 
 It needed no long cogitation or extended argument 
 to convince Johannes, the "Individual," the Cash 
 Customer, of the immense practical value of such a 
 steed, to say nothing of his costing nothing to keep, 
 and of its therefore being utterly impossible for him 
 to a eat his own head off," and of his never growing 
 old, and of his never having any of the multitudinous 
 diseases that afflict ordinary horses without any inter- 
 mixture of magic blood, and therefore of it being out 
 of the question for anybody to cheat his owner in a 
 horse-trade. 
 
 Why, only think of his value for livery purposes 
 in case his happy proprietor was disposed to let 
 other folks use him for a proper compensation. He 
 could of course be trained to carry double, and no 
 doubt Mr. Rarey, or some other person potent in 
 horse education, could easily break him to go in 
 harness. 
 
 It wasn't likely, Johannes cogitated, that the 
 judges would allow him to enter his ligneous racer 
 at the Fashion Course, so that he'd not get a chance 
 
io8 The Witches of New York. 
 
 to win any money from Lancet and Flora Temple, 
 still there was a hope, even on that point. 
 
 So, in search of the witch wife, whose dower 
 should be the broomstick horse, that should set the 
 fond couple up in business, started the sanguine 
 lover. 
 
 Having had some experience of New York for- 
 tune-tellers and others in the magic line, and not 
 thinking they were of the sort likely to have so 
 great a treasure, he started for the suburbs, and 
 crossed the ferry to Williamsburgh, in order to pay a 
 visit of inquiry, and if possible to take the initiatory 
 step in courting Mrs. Pugh, of No. 102 South First 
 Street, in that city. 
 
 He designed, of course, to buy a "fortune" at a 
 liberal price, for the purpose of setting the lady in 
 good-humor as a necessary preliminary step. He 
 really had hopes that she would prove to be of a 
 slightly different style from some of the New York 
 fortune-tellers, who seem to have mistaken their 
 profession and to be hardly up to reading the stars 
 
Mrs. Pugh. 109 
 
 with success, although they might be fully equal to 
 all the financial exigencies of an apple and peanut 
 stand, or might win an honorable distinction crying 
 "radishes and lettuce" in the early morning hours; 
 or upon trial, might, perhaps, evince a decided genius 
 for the rag-picking business, or preside over the for- 
 tunes of a soap-fat cart with distinguished ability. 
 
 Threading the winding ways of Williamsburgh is 
 by no means an easy task for one unaccustomed, and 
 it was only by incessantly stopping the passers-by and 
 making the most minute inquiries that this lady was 
 ever achieved at all. 
 
 This constant questioning of the public revealed, 
 however, the fact that Mrs. Pugh does not by any 
 means depend upon her fortune-telling for her bread- 
 and-butter; she is a nurse, as many a Williamsburgh 
 baby could testify if it could command its emotions 
 long enough to speak/' What will be the influence 
 of her supernaturalism and witchcraft upon the chil- 
 dren intrusted to her fostering care whether they 
 will in after life prove to be devils, demi-gods, heroes, 
 
1 1 o The Witches of New York. 
 
 or mere ordinary "humans," time alone can show. 
 This illustrious lady does not advertise in the news- 
 papers ; in fact, her fortune-telling is done on the sly, 
 as if she were yet an apprentice, and a little ashamed 
 of her bungling jobs, for which, by the way, she only 
 charges half price. She is in a very undecided state, 
 and evidently undetermined whether her proper 
 vocation is tending babies or revealing the decrees 
 of the fates at twenty-five cents a head, and when 
 her visitors made their appearance she was puzzled to 
 know whether their business was baby or black art. 
 
 Her exertions in either profession have not as yet 
 gained her a very large fortune, judging from the 
 surroundings of her eligible residence. 
 
 The domicile of this chrysalis enchantress is a low 
 frame house of two stories, standing back from the 
 street, directly in the rear of another row of more 
 pretentious mansions, as if it had been sent into the 
 back yard in disgrace and never permitted to show 
 itself in good society again. It seems conscious of 
 its humiliation, and wears an air of architectural 
 
Mrs. Pugh. 1 1 1 
 
 dejection that is quite touching. A troop of dirty- 
 faced children was in the yard, and in the corner 
 was a pile of other household incumbrances, consist- 
 ing principally of mops and washtubs. 
 
 Johannes critically examined this interesting col- 
 lection, but the wished-for broomstick was not there. 
 A modest rap brought to the door a large ill-favored 
 man with a red nose and a ponderous pair of boots, 
 whose speciality seemed to be drinking whatever 
 spirituous liquors were consumed about the esta- 
 blishment. 
 
 Having passed this shirt-sleeved sentinel without 
 damage, though not without fear, the Cash Customer 
 sat down to take an observation. 
 
 The wooden courser was not to be seen at first 
 glance. The room was a small irregularly -shaped 
 one, with an intrusive chimney jutting out into the 
 floor from one side, as if it were a sturdy brick-and- 
 mortar poor relation of the premises come a visiting 
 and not to be got rid of at any price. A small cook- 
 ing stove was in the fireplace, with an attendant on 
 
1 1 2 The Witches of New York. 
 
 either side in the shape of a battered coal-scuttle, and 
 a small saucepan full of charcoal ; the floor was co- 
 vered with a dirty rag carpet that had long since out- 
 lived its beauty and its usefulness, and was now in 
 the last extremity of a tattered old age ; half-a-dozen 
 chairs of different patterns, all much shattered in 
 health and enfeebled by long years of labor, and a 
 decrepit lounge in the last stages of a decline, were 
 the seats reserved for visitors ; the other furniture of 
 the room was an antique chest of drawers of a most 
 curious and complicated pattern it seemed as if the 
 mechanic had been uncertain whether he was to con- 
 struct a bureau or a cow-shed, and had accordingly 
 satisfied his conscience by making half-a-dozen 
 drawers and building a sloping roof over them ; the 
 joints were warped apart, and through the chinks 
 could be seen fragments of clean shirt, and ends of 
 lace, and bits of flannel, suggesting babies. At a 
 wink from the female, the male with the ponderous 
 boots retired from the presence. 
 
 Mrs. Pugh is a woman of medium height and size, 
 
Mrs. Pugh. 113 
 
 with a clear grey eye, and light hair, and wearing 
 that sycophantic smile peculiar to people who have 
 much to do with ugly babies whose beauty must be 
 constantly praised to the doting parents. She was 
 attired in a neat calico dress, constructed for family 
 use, and for the particular accommodation of the 
 younger members of the household. 
 
 Johannes, who had been taking a sly look, had 
 made up his mind that she would not be quite so 
 objectionable for a wife as he had feared, and he had 
 fully resolved to woo and wed her off-hand, provided 
 she had the broomstick of his hopes. 
 
 So, by way of a beginning, he announced that he 
 would like her to exercise her magic powers in his 
 behalf. 
 
 Mrs. Pugh had evidently previously regarded him 
 as an enthusiastic young father with a pair of trouble- 
 some twins, who had come to seek her ministrations, 
 and she undoubtedly had high wages, innumerable 
 presents, and exorbitant perquisites in her mind's eye 
 at that instant. 
 
114 The Witches of New York. 
 
 "When, however, she learned that her visitor merely 
 wished to know what the fates had resolved to do 
 about his particular case, she was slightly disappointed, 
 for the babies are more profitable than the planets. 
 However, she soon reconciled herself to her fate, and 
 produced from some cranny immediately under the 
 eaves of the cow-shed bureau, a pack of cards 
 wrapped up in an old newspaper. She then carefully 
 locked the door to keep out the children, and drew 
 down the curtains lest their inquiring minds should 
 lead them to observe her mysterious operations 
 through the window. Then taking the wonder-work- 
 ing pieces of pasteboard in her hands, and seating 
 herself opposite her visitor, she announced her 
 gracious will, thus : " You shall have six wishes." 
 
 Then, without asking him what he wished for, or 
 whether he wished for anything, she shuffled the 
 cards a few seconds, and read off their mysterious 
 significance as follows, her curious and anxious cus- 
 tomer looking furtively around, meanwhile, to spy 
 out the hiding-place of the wooden courser: 
 
Mrs. Pugh. 115 
 
 " 'Pears to me you will have good luck in futur, 
 though it seems to me that you have had a great deal 
 of bad luck and misfortune in your life ; but you will 
 certainly do better in your futur days than you have 
 done yet in your life, at least, so it seems to me. 
 Tears to me your good luck will commence right 
 away, pretty soon, immediate, in a very few days ; 
 you will have some great good luck befal you within 
 a 9. I designate time by days, and weeks, and months, 
 and sometimes years, so this good luck of which I 
 told you, you will certainly have within 9 days, or 
 9 weeks, or 9 months, or possibly 9 years 9 days I 
 think ; yes, I am sure ; within 9 days, at least so it 
 'pears to me. You are going to make a change in 
 your business, so it seems to me you are going to 
 leave your present business, and make a change ; 
 you will make this change within a 7, which may be 
 7 days or weeks ; weeks I think, yes certainly within 
 7 weeks, at least so it 'pears to me this change in 
 your business which will take place in 7 days, or 
 weeks, I think, yes weeks I'm sure, will be a change 
 
116 The Witches of New York. 
 
 for the better, and you will profit by it much, at least 
 so it seems to me and it will come to pass within a 
 7 ; as I said before, within a 7, months or days it may 
 be, but weeks I think; yes, now I look again, within 
 a 7, weeks I'm certain, at least, so it 'pears to me 
 you will receive a letter within a 3 ; years, perhaps, 
 months, it may be, but still it looks like days ; yes, 
 days I'm sure, days it must be ; within a 3, and days 
 they are ; you will receive a letter within 3 days, I'm 
 positively sure, or so it 'pears to me. You have 
 friends across water, from whom you will hear 
 speedily and soon, within a 5, which may be months, 
 although I think not, for it looks like years ; did I 
 say years ? no, days ; yes, days it is again ; within a 
 5, and days they are ; this letter you will have within 
 5 days; it will contain excellent news, which will 
 please you much ; money, the news will be, and you 
 will get the letter within a 5, which may be months 
 or years, but days it looks like, and first-rate news it 
 is, of money ; I am positively certain that it is within 
 a 5, at least it seems so to me. You face up good 
 
Mrs. Pugh. 117 
 
 luck and prosperity, and you will be very rich before 
 you die, though I do not see how you are to get your 
 money, whether by business or legacy ; but you will 
 be very rich, or so it seems to me. You will receive 
 some money within a 4 ; it will be in three parcels, 
 and there will be considerable of it. You will get 
 it in three parcels within a 4, not hours, nor years, 
 nor yet months, but weeks ; money in three parcels 
 within a 4, and weeks they are, I'm certain. The 
 money will be in three parcels three parcels; in 
 three parcels you will get money within a 4, which, 
 now I look again, it may be years, but still I think 
 not. No, it is weeks; I'm certain, at least, so it 
 'pears to me. There is a lady that has a good heart 
 for you. She is a light-complexioned lady, with 
 black eyes ; she has a good heart for you, and I do 
 not see any trouble between you, which means that 
 there is no opposition to your match, and that you 
 will certainly marry her within a 2, at least so it 
 'pears to me. Within a 2 you will marry this light- 
 complexioned lady, within a 2, which is not hours, 
 
ii8 The Witches of New York. 
 
 nor yet days, I think it is months. I'll look again ; 
 no, it is not months, but years ; within a 2 and years 
 they are, yes, 2 years ; before a 2, and years they are, 
 this lady will be your wife at least, so it seems to 
 me. 'Pears to me you will get money with her, I do 
 not know how much, bat you will certainly get 
 money in three parcels, as I once remarked before, 
 within a 4, which I'm sure is weeks. You will be 
 married twice ; once within a 2, once again within a 
 5 or 7 after your first wife dies. I think it is a 5, 
 though it may be a 7; and months it looks like, 
 though it may be weeks or days. You will live with 
 your first wife a 10 ; days it can't be, though it looks 
 like days a 10, you'll live with her a 10, can it be 
 hours, no, years it is, it must be, because you will 
 have five children by your first wife, which makes 
 it years 10 years it is, I know, at least so it 'pears 
 to me. You will have five children by your first 
 wife, but you will not raise them all. All will die 
 but two, and then your wife will die within a 1, 
 which is a month, or so it seems to me." 
 
Mrs. Pugh. 119 
 
 The inquirer was charmed with the lively prospect 
 of so many funerals, and mentally resolved to buy 
 a couple of acres in Greenwood for the accommoda- 
 tion of his future family. His meditations were 
 interrupted by the lady, who thus continued: 
 
 4 'You will marry a second wife, but you will 
 have trouble about her; there is a dark-complex- 
 ioned man who interferes, and who will trouble you 
 for an 8, which may be years, although I think not, 
 nor hours, nor days, but months; I'm sure it is 
 yes, the dark-complexioned man will trouble you 
 for an 8, which I am sure is months, yes, months 
 it is, an 8 I say, and months they are, I am certain, 
 at least so it 'pears to me. By your second wife 
 you will have three children, who will all live I 
 see a funeral here within a 6 ; it does not look like 
 a friend or a relative, but it is some acquaintance, 
 or the friend of some acquaintance, or the acquaint- 
 ance of some friend the funeral is within a 6, but 
 it does not come very near to you you will go to 
 a wedding within a 3, and you will receive a present 
 
1 2o The Witches of New York. 
 
 of a ring within a 2, which may be days you will 
 after this be very prosperous and happy, you will 
 be very long-lived you will get a letter and a 
 present from the light-complexioned lady within a 
 9, which, as I said before, it may be hours, which 
 I think it is, though weeks it may be, or months, 
 or even years; though certainly within a 9, which, 
 now I look again, is days, yes, I am sure, certain, 
 within a 9, a letter and a present from the light- 
 complexioned lady, a 9 it is and days, within a 9, 
 and days they are, at least, so it 'pears to me." 
 
 Here ended the communication, and, on inquiring 
 the price, Johannes was astonished to learn that he 
 had received but twenty-five cents' worth. Eegret- 
 ting that he had not invested a dollar in a com- 
 modity so "cheap and very filling at the price" 
 for future consumption, he departed, first taking a 
 long lingering look to find, if possible, the lurking- 
 place of the magic broomstick charger. He didn't 
 see it, and gave it up, and came away declaring 
 that such a woman was not qualified to take the 
 
Mrs. Pugh. 121 
 
 social position his wife must assume. He did not, 
 however, wish to discourage her; he thought that 
 the water-melon trade might be comprehended by a 
 lady of her abilities, or that she could perhaps tho- 
 roughly master the pop-corn and molasses candy 
 business, and make it lucrative. 
 
 6 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 In which are narrated the Wonderful Workings of Madame 
 
 Morrow, the " Astonisher," of No. 76. Broome 
 
 Street; and how, by a Crinolinic Stratagem, 
 
 the "Individual" got a Sight of 
 
 his "Future Husband." 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 MADAME MORROW, THE ASTONISHER, No. 76 
 BROOME STREET. 
 
 MADAME MORROW is the only one of the fortune- 
 telling fraternity in New York who refuses to 
 dispense her astrological favors' to both sexes. She 
 positively declines receiving any visits from "gen- 
 tlemen," and confines her business attention exclu- 
 sively to "ladies," of whom many are her regular 
 customers. One reason for this course of conduct 
 is, that she imagines her own sex to be the more 
 credulous, and more readily disposed to put faith 
 in her claims to supernatural knowledge, and she 
 naturally prefers to deal with believers rather than 
 with sceptics. Her " lady " customers are more 
 tractable and easily managed than men, and are not 
 
1 26 The Witches of New York. 
 
 so apt to ask puzzling and impertinent questions; 
 and as the Madame can manage more of them in 
 a day, of course the pecuniary return is larger than 
 if she exercised her art in behalf of curious mas- 
 culinity as well. 
 
 Of her history before she engaged in her present 
 business, not much is known to those who have 
 met her only of late years, for with regard to her 
 early life she chooses to exercise a politic reticence. 
 The whole " style " of the woman, however, her 
 dress, manner, and conversation, are strong indica- 
 tions that her younger and more attractive days 
 were not passed in a nunnery, but more probably 
 in establishments where "Free Love" is more than 
 a theory. The character of the greater part of her 
 " lady " visitors is of a grade that goes to corrobo- 
 rate this supposition, and leads to the belief that 
 among women of doubtful virtue "old acquaintance" 
 is not easily " forgot." By far the greater number of 
 Madame Morrow's customers are girls of the town, 
 and women of even more disreputable character. 
 
Madame Morrow. 127 
 
 The fact that a visit to this renowned sorceress 
 must be paid in a feminine disguise, made the 
 attempt to secure an interview of more than ordinary 
 interest. How this difficulty was mastered, and how 
 an entrance was finally effected into the citadel 
 from which all mankind is rigorously excluded, is 
 best told in the words of the "Individual" who 
 accomplished that curious feat. 
 
 How the Cash Customer visited the "Astonisher" How 
 he was Astonished and How he saw his Future Husband. 
 
 The Cash Customer in pursuit of a wife had been 
 rebuffed, but was not disheartened. He had, so to 
 speak, fought a number of very severe hymeneal 
 rounds and got the worst of them all ; but he had 
 taken his punishment like a man, and had still 
 wind and pluck to come up bravely to the matri- 
 monial scratch when "time" was called, and as 
 yet showed no signs of giving in. His backers, if 
 he'd had any, would have still been tolerably sure 
 
128 The Witches of New York. 
 
 of their money, and not painfully anxious to hedge. 
 The bets would have been about even that he'd 
 win the fight yet, and come out of the battle a 
 triumphant husband, instead of being knocked out 
 of the field a disconsolate and discomfited bachelor. 
 But, although his ardor had not cooled, and 
 though his strength and determination still held 
 out, he had grown slightly cautious, and had con- 
 ceived a plan for going like a spy into the camp 
 of the enemy, and there thoroughly reconnoitring 
 the positions that he had to storm, and at the same 
 time making himself master of the wiles and strata- 
 gems that were the peculiar weapons of the female 
 foe, and so learn some infallible way to capture a 
 first-quality wife. At any rate, he would give 
 himself the benefit of the doubt and make the 
 experiment. He would a-wooing go, not apparelled 
 in conquering broadcloth, in subjugating marseilles, 
 or overpowering doeskin, but carrying the unaccus- 
 tomed, but not less potent weapons of laces, moire- 
 antique, crinoline, and gaiters. 
 
Madame Morrow. 129 
 
 In fact, there was also a stern necessity in the case, 
 for the lady on whom he had now set his young 
 affections was particular as to her customers, and did 
 not admit the shirt-collar gender to the honor of 
 her confidence. 
 
 But was this to stop him? If the lady shut out 
 the whole masculine world from the inevitable 
 fascinations of her superabundant charms, was it 
 not for sweet charity's sake, that a whole community 
 might not go into ecstatic frenzies over her peerless 
 beauty, and all men, being stricken in love of the 
 same woman, go to cutting each other's throats 
 with bowie-knives and other modern improvements I 
 
 It was easy to see that Madame Morrow did not 
 want to become another Helen, to be abducted to 
 some modern Troy, and have a ten years' row, and 
 any quantity of habeas corpuses, and innumerable 
 contempts of interminable courts, after the modern 
 fashion of conducting a strife about a runaway 
 maiden. 
 
 Such a considerate beauty, veiling her undoubted 
 6* 
 
130 The Witches of New York. 
 
 fascinations from the rude gaze of man, from purely 
 prudential reasons, must be a prize of rare value, 
 and well worth the winning. 
 
 Her qualifications in magic, too, seemed to be of 
 the very first order, to judge from her notification to 
 the wonder-seeking world. 
 
 "ASTONISHING TO ALL. Madame MORROW claims to be the 
 most wonderful astrologist in the world, or that has ever been 
 known, as I am the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter, 
 who was also a great astrologist I have a natural gift to 
 tell past, present, and future events of life. I have astonished 
 thousands during my travels in Europe. I will tell how many 
 times you are to be married, how, soon, and will show you 
 the likeness of your future husband, and will cause you to 
 be speedily married, and you will enjoy the greatest happiness 
 of matrimonial bliss and good luck through your whole life. I 
 will also show the likeness of absent friends and relations, and I 
 will tell so true all the concerns of life that you cannot help 
 being astonished. No charge, if not satisfied. Gentlemen not 
 admitted. No. 76 Broome street, near Columbia." 
 
 There was but one thing in this that troubled the 
 
Madame Morrow. 131 
 
 " Individual " with any particularly sharp pangs. He 
 intended to marry the Astonisher, but he was a 
 little bothered what to do with the seven daughters, 
 for of course the Madame would not fail to follow 
 the excellent example of her revered mother, and 
 would never stop short of the mystic number. 
 
 He finally concluded that all his duties as a father 
 would be faithfully performed if he taught them to 
 read, write, and play on the piano, and then gave 
 them each a sewing-machine to begin the world with. 
 He did think of bringing them up for the ballet, but 
 their success in that profession being somewhat de- 
 pendent'' on the size and symmetry of their dancing 
 implements, he felt it would be improper to positively 
 determine on that line of business before he had been 
 favored with a sight of the young ladies. Eeserving, 
 therefore, his decision on this knotty point until time 
 should further develop the subject, he prepared for 
 the unsexing which was indicated as an inevitable 
 preliminary to a visit to Madame Morrow, by the 
 sentence " Grentlemen not admitted." 
 
132 The Witches of New York. 
 
 He proposed to get himself up in a way that would 
 slightly astonish the Madame herself, although she 
 had faithfully promised in her advertisement to asto- 
 nish him. He would have been willing to wager a 
 small sum that with all her witchcraft she would be 
 unable to keep that promise, for in the regular course 
 of his business, he had become so accustomed to mar- 
 vels, wonders, and miracles, that the upheaval of a 
 volcano in the Park wouldn't discompose him unless 
 it singed his whiskers. He had a strong desire, how- 
 ever, to realize the old sensation of astonishment, and 
 he was of the opinion that the " likeness of his future 
 husband " would accomplish that feat if anything 
 could. 
 
 Heroic was Johannes, and withal ingenious, and 
 this then was his wonderful plan. 
 
 He would visit this Madame Morrow, not by proxy, 
 but in his own proper person ; if not as a man, then 
 as a woman; yes, he would petticoat himself up to the 
 required dimensions, if it took a week to tie on the 
 machinery. Off with the pantaloons; on with the 
 
Madame Morrow. 133 
 
 skirts ; down with the broadcloth ; hurrah for the cotton 
 and hej for victory, and a look at his future husband. 
 
 To an inventor of theatrical costumes hied he 
 with this fell design in his heart. 
 
 The requisite paraphernalia were bargained for and 
 sent home to the ambitious voyager, who, at the sight 
 thereof, was "astonished" in advance, and stricken 
 aghast by the complicated mysteries of laces, ribbons, 
 strings, bones, buttons, pins, capes, collars, and other 
 inexplicable articles that met his gaze. 
 
 The question instantly occurred, "Could he get 
 into these things ?" 
 
 Not a bit of it ; he would sooner undertake to re- 
 port in short-hand the speech of a thunder-cloud, 
 and with much better prospects of success. He felt 
 his own insignificance, and as he looked out at the 
 window, he regarded a passing female with awe. He 
 felt that he was fast becoming imbecile, not to say 
 idiotic, when he bethought him of his friends. Two 
 discreet married men, who knew the ropes, were 
 called to the rescue, and began the work ; they piled 
 
134 The Witches of New York. 
 
 on layer after layer of the material, and in the course 
 of four or five hours had built him into a pyramid 
 of the proper size, when they gave him their solemn 
 assurance that he was " all right." He has since dis- 
 covered that they had tied his under-sleeves round his 
 ankles, and that the things he wore on his arms must 
 have belonged somewhere else. There was trouble 
 about the hair, and it required the combined ingenu- 
 ity and wisdom of the masculine trio to keep the 
 bonnet on, and this difficulty was only overcome at 
 last by tying strings from the inside of the crown of 
 that invention to the ears of the sufferer. 
 
 Then, and not till then, had anybody thought 
 of the whiskers. They must be sacrificed; and 
 though the miserable victim to his own ambition 
 consented to the disfigurement, how was it to be 
 accomplished? The luckless Johannes could no 
 more sit down in a barber's chair than the City 
 Hall could get into an omnibus. At last he knelt 
 down, which was the nearest approach he could 
 make to a sitting position, and Jenkins, mounted on 
 
Madame Morrow. 135 
 
 the bed, shaved him as well as he could at arm's 
 length. 
 
 When the operation was concluded, his head 
 looked as if it had been parboiled and the skin 
 taken off. He didn't dare to curse Jenkins for 
 his clumsiness, knowing that if he relieved his mind 
 in that desirable manner, Jenkins would refuse to 
 help him undress when he wanted to get out of the 
 innumerable manacles that now confined every joint. 
 He was as helpless as a turtle that the unkind hand 
 of ruthless man has rolled over on his back. 
 
 However, the disguise was complete ; he looked in 
 the glass and thought he was his own landlady ; his 
 best friends wouldn't have known him, and the 
 teller of the bank would have pronounced him a 
 forgery and refused to certify him; he felt like a 
 full-rigged clipper ship, and got under sail as soon 
 as possible and bore down upon Madame Morrow's 
 residence. He nearly capsized as he stepped into 
 the street, but he righted after a heavy lurch to the 
 north-east, and kept his course without further serious 
 
136 The Witches of New York. 
 
 disaster. He made a speedy run to Broome street, 
 the voyage being accomplished in less than the 
 expected time, although a heavy sea, in the shape 
 of a boy with a wheelbarrow, struck him amidships, 
 on the corner of Sheriff street, doing some damage 
 to his lower works and carrying away a yard or 
 so of lace from his main skirt. He finally came 
 up to the house in splendid style, and cast anchor 
 on the opposite sidewalk to take an observation. 
 
 The anchorage was good, and he rode securely for 
 a short time until he could repair damages, he having 
 carried away some of his upper rigging; in other 
 words, he had caught his veil on a meat-hook and had 
 been unable to rescue it. He rigged a sort of jury- 
 veil with the end of his shawl, so that he could hide 
 his blushing countenance in case of too close scrutiny. 
 
 Madame Morrow lives, as he now discovered, in a 
 low, three-story brick house, which cannot be called 
 dirty, simply because that mild word expresses an 
 approximation towards cleanliness which no house in 
 this locality has known for years. City readers can 
 
Madame Morrow. 137 
 
 get an idea of its condition by understanding that it 
 is in the worst part of " The Hook ;" to readers in 
 the country, who have luckily never seen anything 
 filthier than a barn yard, no information can be 
 given which would meet the case. Sunshine is the 
 only protection for a well-dressed man against the 
 population of this part of the town. In the twilight 
 or darkness he would be robbed, if not garroted and 
 murdered. The boldest and most desperate burglars, 
 and others of that stamp, have their homes about 
 here fathers who teach their children the thief's 
 profession, and mothers who carry pickpockets at the 
 
 breast. In the midst of this nest of crime the 
 
 ~ 
 
 fortune-teller has her home, and here she thrives. 
 
 The daring man, protected by his false colors, 
 there being no officious authority in that neighbor- 
 hood to exercise the right of search, came alongside 
 the house and prepared, metaphorically, to board; 
 that is, he rang the bell. 
 
 He was admitted by an Irish girl, whose in- 
 crusted face showed that the same deposit of dirt 
 
138 The Witches of New York. 
 
 had probably held possession undisturbed for weeks. 
 They had just entered the hall door when two 
 small children, who were contending for their 
 vested rights with a big yellow dog that had 
 interfered with their dinner, commenced an un- 
 earthly squalling, which, for the instant, made the 
 millinery delegate fairly believe that Tophet was 
 out for noon. The Hibernian maiden, with great 
 presence of mind, immediately attempted to quiet 
 the storm by administering to each inverted brat 
 a sound correction, in the manner usually adopted 
 by mothers. 
 
 Particulars are omitted. 
 
 Then she resumed her attentions to the stranger, 
 and convoyed him into port in the parlor. Securely 
 harbored in this safe retreat, Johannes took another 
 observation. 
 
 The room was small, and what few things were 
 in it looked shabby and dirty of course. The prin- 
 cipal article of furniture was a huge basketful of 
 soiled linen, which had probably been "taken in" 
 
Madame Morrow. 139 
 
 to wash, and from a respectable family, for every 
 single article looked ashamed to be caught in such 
 company, and tried to burrow down out of sight. 
 Disconsolate shirts elbowed humiliated socks, which 
 in turn kicked against mortified flannels, or hid 
 themselves beneath disconcerted sheets; abashed 
 shirt-collars and humbled dickies tried to shrink out 
 of sight in very shame beneath a dishonored table- 
 cloth, the wine-stains on which showed it to belong in 
 better society. A dejected and cast-down woman 
 was assorting the despairing contents of the basket 
 with a look of desolation. 
 
 The girl, who had disappeared, now returned, and 
 with an air of mystery slipped into the hand of her 
 visitor a red card, on which was inscribed : 
 
 No Person allowed to remain in the Establish- 
 ment without a ticket. Please present this on 
 entering Madame Morrow's room. Fee in full, $1. 
 
 For an hour and a half after the receipt of this 
 
140 The Witches of New York. 
 
 card and the payment of $1 therefor, did Johannes 
 quietly wait in the room with the big basket, being 
 entertained meanwhile by the two women who con- 
 versed with each other upon the relative merits of 
 engines No. 18 and 27, and with a long discussion as 
 to the comparative personal beauty of "Tom" and 
 "Dick," who, it seemed, belonged respectively to 
 those two mechanical constituents of our Fire Depart- 
 ment. 
 
 At the end of that time the Irish girl, who had 
 succeeded in establishing "Dick's" claim to her 
 satisfaction, arose and invited the stranger to the 
 room of Madame Morrow. 
 
 He passed up a narrow flight of stairs, the condi- 
 tion of which, as to dirt, was concealed by no friendly 
 carpet ; then he sailed into a front parlor which was 
 furnished elegantly, and perhaps gorgeously, with 
 carpets, mirrors, sofas, and all the usual requirements 
 of a lady's apartment. 
 
 Madame herself appeared at the door. She is a 
 tall, sallow-looking woman, with a complexion the 
 
Madame Morrow. 141 
 
 color of old parchment : with light brown eyes and 
 light hair ; being attired in a handsome delaine dress 
 of half-mourning, and decorated with a costly cameo 
 pin and ear-drops, she looked not unlike a servant 
 out for a holiday, making a sensation in her mistress's 
 finery. 
 
 She led her lovely visitor into a little closet-like 
 room, in which were a bureau, two chairs, a table, 
 and a small stand, covered with a number of her 
 business hand-bills and a pack of cards. She asked 
 first : " What month was you born ?" On receiving 
 the answer, the Astonisher took a book from the 
 bureau and read as follows: "A person born in 
 this month is of an amiable and frank disposition, 
 benevolent, and an amiable and desirable partner in 
 the marriage relation. Your lucky days are Tues- 
 days and Thursdays, on which days you may enter 
 on any undertaking, or attempt any enterprise with 
 a good prospect of success." Then she took up the 
 cards again, and after the usual shuffling and cutting, 
 the Astonisher fired away as follows. 
 
142 The Witches of New York. 
 
 " You face luck, you face prosperity, you face true 
 love and disinterested affection, you face a speedy mar- 
 riage, you face a letter which will come in three days 
 and will contain pleasant news you face a ring, you 
 face a present of jewelry done up in a small package ; 
 the latter will come within two hours, two days, two 
 weeks, or two months you face an agreeable sur- 
 prise, you face the death of a friend, you face the 
 seven of clubs which is the luckiest card in the pack 
 you face two gentlemen with a view to matrimony, 
 one of whom has brown hair and brown eyes, and 
 the other has lighter hair and blue eyes they are 
 both thinking of you at the present time, but the 
 nearest one you face is the one with light eyes your 
 marriage runs within six or nine months." 
 
 There was very much more to the same effect, but as 
 Johannes was pining all this time for a look at his 
 future husband, he did not pay the strictest attention 
 to it. Finally, when she had finished talking, she 
 said, "Step this way and see your future hus- 
 band." 
 
Madame Morrow. 143 
 
 This was the eventful moment. 
 
 The disguised one went to the table and there beheld 
 a pine box, about the size of an ordinary candle-box, 
 though shallower; it was unpainted, and decidedly 
 unornamental as an article of furniture. In one end 
 of it was an aperture about the size of the eye-hole of 
 a telescope ; this was carefully covered with a small 
 black curtain. This mystic contrivance was placed 
 upon a table so low that the husband-seeker was 
 compelled to go on his knees to get his eye down 
 low enough to see through. He accomplished this 
 feat without grumbling, although his knees were 
 scarified by the whalebones which surrounded him. 
 The Astonisher then drew aside the little curtain 
 with a grand flourish, and her customer beheld an 
 indistinct figure of a bloated face with a mustache, 
 with black eyes and black hair ; it was a hang-dog, 
 thief-like face, and one that he would not have passed 
 in the street without involuntarily putting his hands 
 on his pockets to assure himself that all was right. 
 
144 The Witches of New York. 
 
 But lie felt tha^ lie had no hope of a future husband 
 if he did not accept this one, and he made up his 
 mind to be reconciled to the match. 
 
 This contrivance for showing the "future hus- 
 band " is sometimes called the Magic Mirror, and may 
 be procured at any optician's for a dollar and a 
 quarter. The "future husband" may of course be 
 varied to suit circumstances, by merely shifting the 
 pictures at one end of the instrument ; or a horse or a 
 dog might be substituted with equal propriety and 
 probability. 
 
 Disappointed, and sick at heart and stomach, the 
 Cash Customer bore away for home, and accomplished 
 the return voyage without disaster. He didn't so 
 much mind the unexpected difference in the personal 
 attractions of Madame Morrow from what he had 
 hoped, for he had been rather accustomed to disap- 
 pointments of that sort of late, but he couldn't see 
 that his admission to the camp of the enemy had 
 enabled him to spy out anything of particular advan- 
 
Madame Morrow. 145 
 
 tage to him in future operations. So he cogitated 
 and mournfully whistled slow tunes, as he cut 
 himself out of his unaccustomed harness by the help 
 
 of a pen-knife with a file-blade. 
 
 7 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Contains a full account of the interview of the Cash 
 
 Customer with Doctor Wilson, the Astrologer, of 
 
 No. 172 Delancey Street. The Fates 
 
 decree that he shall " pizon his 
 
 first Wife." HOORAY!! 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 DR. WILSON, No. 172 DELANCEY STREET. 
 
 THIS ignorant, half-imbecile old man is the only 
 wizard in New York whose fame has become public. 
 There are several other men who sometimes, as a 
 matter of favor to a curious friend, exercise their 
 astrological skill, but they do not profess witchcraft 
 as a means of living; they do not advertise their 
 gifts, but only dabble in necromancy in an amateur 
 way, more as a means of amusement than for any 
 other purpose. On the other hand Dr. Wilson freely 
 uses the newspapers to announce to the public his 
 star-reading ability, and his willingness, for a con- 
 sideration, to tell all events, past and future, of a 
 paying customer's life. He professes to do all his 
 fortune-telling in a "strictly scientific" manner, and 
 
150 The Witches of New York. 
 
 it is but justice to him to say, that he alone, of all the 
 witches of New York, drew a horoscope, consulted 
 books of magic, made intricate mathematical calcula- 
 tions, and made a show of being scientific. In his 
 case only was any attempt made to convince the 
 seeker after hidden wisdom, that modern fortune- 
 telling is aught else than very lame and shabby guess- 
 work. The old Doctor has by no means so many 
 customers as many of his female rivals; he is old 
 and unprepossessing were he young and handsome 
 the case might be otherwise. 
 
 He has been a pretended " botanic physician," or 
 what country people term a "root doctor;" but 
 failing to earn a living by the practice of medicine, 
 he took up "Demonology and Witchcraft" to aid 
 him to eke out a scanty subsistence. He does but 
 little in either branch of his business, the pub- 
 lic appearing to have slight faith in his ability 
 either to cure their maladies or foretell their 
 future. 
 
 The character of his surroundings is noted in the 
 
Dr. Wilson. 151 
 
 following description, and his oracular communica- 
 tion is given, word for word. 
 
 An Hour with a Wizard. The Cash Customer is to 
 " Pizon " his First Wife, and then get Another. Hooray ! 
 
 " I am like a vagabond pig with no family ties, who 
 has no lady pig to welcome him home o'nights, and 
 with no tender sucklings to call him * papa,' in that 
 prattling porcine language that must fall so sweetly 
 on the ears of all parents of innocent porklings. 
 Like Othello, I have no wife, and really I can see 
 little hope in the future." 
 
 Thus moralized the "Individual;" the morning 
 after his experiment with the women's gear, and his 
 failure to learn, at a single lesson, the whole art of 
 catching a wife. Then he bethought him that per- 
 haps the art could not be learned without a master ; 
 and then came the other thought that no one could 
 tell so well how to win a witch- wife as one who had 
 himself been successful in that risky experiment. 
 
 To find a man with a fortune-telling wife is no 
 
152 The Witches of New York. 
 
 easy matter, for most of the marriages contracted by 
 these ladies are by no means of a permanent 
 character, and the male parties to the temporary 
 partnerships are always kept in the background. 
 But if he could discover up a wizard, a masculine 
 master of the Black Art, there were strong proba- 
 bilities that such an individual could put him in the 
 way of winning a miracle-working spouse, at the 
 very least possible trouble and expense. He would 
 seek that man as a preliminary to winning that 
 woman. The daily newspapers showed him that in 
 the person of a learned doctor, surnamed Wilson, 
 he would probably find the man he wanted. He 
 searched out that wonderful man, and the result?. 
 of his visit are given in this identical chapter. 
 
 Old dreamy Sol Gills, of coffee-colored memory, 
 has been admiringly recommended to the good 
 opinion of the world by his friend, Capt. Ed'ard 
 Cuttle, mariner of England, as a man "chock full 
 of science." From the same eminent authority we 
 also learn that Jack Bunsby was an individual of 
 
Dr. Wilson. 153 
 
 learning so vast, and experience so varied and com- 
 prehensive, that he never opened his oracular mouth 
 but out fell " solid chunks of wisdom." That the 
 person now dwells in our city who combines the 
 scientific attainments of Gills with the intuitive 
 wisdom of Bunsby, we have the solemn word of 
 Johannes. The science is a trifle more dreamy and 
 misty even than of old, and the wisdom is solider 
 and chunkier, but both are as undeniable, as con- 
 vincing, as " stunning," as in the best days of the 
 Little Wooden Midshipman. The fortunate possessor 
 of this inestimable wealth of knowledge secludes 
 himself from the curious public in the basement of 
 the house No. 172 Delancey street, like an under- 
 ground hermit. However, this unselfish and gene- 
 rous sage, not wishing to hide entirely the light of 
 his great learning from a benighted world, kindly 
 condescends, in the advertisement herewith given, 
 to retail his wisdom to anxious inquirers at a dollar 
 a chunk: 
 
 "ASTROLOGY. Dr. Wilson, 172 Delancey street, gives the 
 
154 The Witches of New York. 
 
 most scientific and reliable information to be found on all 
 concerns of life, past, present, and future. Terms ladies, 50 
 cents; gentlemen, $1. Birth required." 
 
 The last sentence is slightly obscure, and it was 
 not quite clear to Johannes that he would not have 
 to be " born again " on the premises. But at all 
 events there was something refreshing in the novelty 
 of consulting a " learned pundit " in pantaloons, after 
 all the tough conjurers of the other sex that he had 
 undergone of late. 
 
 So he repaired to Delancey street in a joyous 
 mood, nothing daunted by the requirements of the 
 advertisement. 
 
 Delancey street is not Paradise, quite the contrary. 
 In fact it may be set down as unsavory, not to say 
 dirty in the extreme. The man that can walk 
 through the east end of this delicious thoroughfare 
 without a constant sensation of sea-sickness, has a 
 stomach that would be true to him in a dissecting- 
 room. The individual that can explore with his 
 unwilling boots its slimy depths without a feeling of 
 
Dr. Wilson. 155 
 
 the most intense disgust for everything in the city 
 and of the city, ought to live in Delancey street and 
 buy his provisions at the corner grocery. He never 
 ought to see the country, or even to smell the breath 
 of a country cow. He should be exiled to the city ; 
 be banished to perpetual bricks and mortar ; be con- 
 demned to a never-ending series of omnibus rides, 
 and to innumerable varieties of short change. 
 
 The delegate picked his way gingerly enough, 
 thinking all the while that if Leander had been com- 
 pelled to wade through Delancey street, instead of 
 taking a clean swim across the sea, Hero might have 
 died a respectable old maid for all Leander. And 
 yet Johannes says he doesn't believe that History 
 will give him any credit for his valorous navigation 
 of the said street. 
 
 He at last reached the designated spot, sound as to 
 body, though wofully soiled as to garments, and 
 approached the semi-subterranean abode of the great 
 prophet, and immediately after his modest rap at the 
 basement door, was met by the venerable sage in 
 
156 The Witches of New York. 
 
 person. He walked in, and then proceeded to take 
 an observation of the cabalistic instruments and 
 mysterious surroundings of the great philosopher. 
 The room was a small, low apartment, about ten 
 
 x 
 
 feet by twelve, the floor uncarpeted and uneven ; the 
 walls were damp, and the whole place was like a 
 vault. The furniture was very scanty, and all had 
 an unwholesome moisture about it, and a curious 
 odor, as if it gathered unhealthy dews by being kept 
 underground. Three feeble chairs were all the seats, 
 and a table which leaned against the wall was too ill 
 and rickety to do its intended duty; many of the 
 books which had once probably covered it, were now 
 thrown in a promiscuous heap on the floor, where 
 they slowly mildewed and gave out a graveyard smell. 
 A miniature stove in the middle of the room, sweated 
 and sweltered, and in its struggles to warm the 
 unhealthy atmosphere had succeeded in suffusing 
 itself with a clammy perspiration ; it was in the last 
 stages of debility; old age and abuse had used it 
 sadly, and it now stood helplessly upon its crippled 
 
Dr. Wilson. 157 
 
 legs, and supported its nerveless elbow upon a sturdy 
 whitewash brush. There were a few symptoms of 
 medical pretensions in the shape of some vials, and 
 bottles of drugs, and colored liquids on the mantel- 
 piece ; a great attempt at a display of scientific appa- 
 ratus began and ended with an insulating stool, and 
 an old-fashioned " cylinder and cushion " electrical 
 machine; a number of highly -colored prints of 
 animals pasted on the wall, having evidently been 
 scissored from the show-bill of a menagerie, had a 
 look towards natural history, and a jar or two of 
 acids suggested chemical researches. The books 
 that still remained on the enervated table were an 
 odd volume of Braithwaite's Retrospect, a treatise 
 on Human Physiology, and another on Materia 
 Medica; a number of bound volumes of Zadkiel's 
 Astronomical Ephemeris, Raphael's Prophetic Alma- 
 nac, Raphael's Prophetic Messenger, and a file of 
 Robert White's Celestial Atlas, running back to 
 1808. 
 The appearance of the venerable sage of Delancey 
 
158 The Witches of New York. 
 
 street was not so imposing as to strike a stranger 
 with awe quite the contrary. He partook of the 
 character of the room, and was a fitting occupant of 
 such a place ; he seemed some kind of unwholesome 
 vegetable that had found that noisome atmosphere 
 congenial, and had sprung indigenously from the 
 slimy soil. One looked instinctively at his feet to see 
 what kind of roots he had, and then glanced back at 
 his head as if it were a huge bud, and about to blos- 
 som into some unhealthy flower. The traces of its 
 earthy origin were plainly visible about this mouldy 
 old plant ; quantities of the rank soil still adhered to 
 the face, filled up the wrinkles of the cheeks, found 
 ample lodging in the ears and on the neck, and 
 crowding under the horny and distorted nails, made 
 them still more ugly ; and streaks and ridges of dirt 
 clung to every portion of the garments, which 
 answered to the bark or rind of this perspiring herb. 
 To drop this botanic figure of speech, Dr. Wilson 
 is a man of about fifty-eight years of age, rather stout 
 and thick-set, with grey eyes, and hair which was 
 
Dr. Wilson. 159 
 
 once brown, but is now grey, and with thin brown 
 whiskers ; the top of his head is nearly bald, except 
 a few thin, furzy, short hairs, which made his skull 
 look as if it had been kept in that damp room until 
 mould had gathered on it. He was in his shirt sleeves, 
 and was attired, for the most part, in a pair of sheep's 
 grey pantaloons, which were made to cover that frac- 
 tion of his body between his ankles and his armpits ; 
 the little patch of shirt that was visible above the 
 waistband of that garment, was streaked with irregu- 
 lar lines of dirty black, as if it had gone into half 
 mourning for the scarcity of water. 
 
 The man of science made a musty remark or two 
 about the weather and the walking, and then, after 
 carefully seating himself at the decrepit table, he 
 said : "I suppose your business is of a fortun'-tellin 7 
 
 natur ; if so, my terms is one dollar." The affirma- 
 
 
 tive answer to the question and the payment of the 
 
 dollar put new energy into the mouldy old man, and 
 he prepared to astonish the beholder. 
 
 He demanded the age of his visitor, and then 
 
160 The Witches of New York. 
 
 desired to be informed of the date of his birth, with 
 particular reference to the exact time of day 
 Johannes drummed up his youthful recollections of 
 that interesting event, and gave the day, the hour, 
 and the minute, with his accustomed accuracy. The 
 sage made an exact minute of these wet-nurse items 
 on a cheap slate with a stub of a pencil ; then taking 
 another cheap slate, he proceeded to draw a horoscope 
 thereon, pausing a little over the signs of the zodiac, 
 as if he was a little out in his astronomy, and wasn't 
 exactly certain whether there should be twelve or 
 twenty. He settled this little matter by filling one 
 half the slate as full as it would hold, and then car- 
 rying some to the other side, so as to have a few on 
 hand in case of any emergency. 
 
 When the figure was drawn, and all the mysterious 
 signs completed, the shirt-sleeve prophet became 
 absorbed in an intricate calculation of such mysteri- 
 ous import that all his customer's mathematical 
 proficiency was unable to make out what it was all 
 about. First he set down a long row of figures, 
 
Dr. Wilson. 161 
 
 which he added together with much difficulty, and 
 then seemed to instantly conceive the most unrelent- 
 ing hostility to the sum total. The mathematical 
 tortures to which he put that unhappy amount ; the 
 arithmetical abuse which he heaped upon it, and 
 the algebraic contumely with which he overwhelmed 
 it, almost defy description. He first belabored 
 it with the four simple rules ; he stretched it 
 with Addition ; he cut it in two with Subtrac- 
 tion; he made it top-heavy with Multiplication, 
 and tore it to pieces with Division then he ex- 
 tracted its square root; then extracted the cube 
 root of that, which left nothing of the unfortunate 
 sum total but a small fraction, which he then divided 
 by abj and made " equal to " an infinitesimal part of 
 some unknown x. Having thus wreaked his ven- 
 geance on the unhappy number, he laid away the 
 surviving fraction in a cold corner of the slate, where 
 he left it, first, however, giving a parting token of 
 his bitter malignity by writing the minus sign before 
 it, which made it perpetually % worse than nothing, 
 
1&2 The Witches of New York. 
 
 and reduced it to a state of irredeemable algebraic 
 bankruptcy. This praiseworthy object being finally 
 achieved, he proceeded to translate into intelligible 
 English the result of his calculations, which he 
 announced in the terms following : 
 
 " The testimonial is not the most sanguine. If the 
 tune of birth is given correct there is reason to 
 apprehend that something of an affective nature 
 occurred at about eight years and ten months at 
 16x10 I think I may say, if the time of birth is 
 given correct, there is from the figures reason to 
 expect that there is a probability of a similar sitiwa- 
 tion of events. At 24 there was a favorable sitiwa- 
 tion of events, if there was not somebody or somethin' 
 afflictive on the contrary, the which I am disposed 
 to think might be possible. At 25, if the time of 
 birth is given correct, there is reason to expect great 
 likelihoods of some success in life ; I may, it is true, 
 be mistaken in my calculations, but as the significa- 
 tors are angular, I think there is indications that such 
 will be the sitiwatioii of events. At 30, if the time 
 
Dr. Wilson. * 163 
 
 of birth, is given correct, I think you are an individ- 
 dyal as may look for some species of misfortin 
 there will be some rather singular circumstances 
 occur, which might denote loss of friends, or the 
 fallin 7 to you of a fortin, or great travellin' by water 
 or land, or losin' money at cards, or breakin' your 
 leg, or makin 7 a great discovery, or inventin' some- 
 thin 7 , or gettin' put into prison on suspicion of 
 sorcery and witchcraft. You will see that there are 
 indications to denote that you will certainly be 
 accused of sorcery and witchcraft by some individ- 
 dyals who are not your friends the indications 
 denote great likelihoods that this will make you 
 uneasy in your mind, but I think there is nothin 7 
 of a very serious natur 7 to be feared at that time of 
 life, if the time of birth is given correct. When any 
 misfortin 7 is comin 7 upon you there is no doubt 
 (though 'I am not goin 7 to state positively that such 
 will be the case, still there is strong likelihoods that 
 the indications give such a probability) that it will 
 give you warnin 7 of its approach. At 36, if the time 
 
164 The Witches of New York. 
 
 of birth is given correct, there is indications of a 
 likelihood that you will fall upon some other misfor- 
 tin' ; I am not prepared to state positively that such 
 will be the case, but I think you will have a mis- 
 fortin 7 , though I don't think it would be of a very 
 afflictive natur 7 . There is at that time a circumstance 
 of an unfriendly natur 7 , though it may not happen 
 to yourself; it might denote that your brother will 
 get sick. There is another evil condition about this 
 time which I will examine still furder. I see that 
 there is indications of a likelihood that there is a 
 probability of your having somethin 7 amiss by a 
 partner, if somethin 7 of a favorable natur 7 does 
 not interpose, which is not unlikely, though I may 
 be mistaken and will not say positively. You will 
 be lucky, however, after that, and many of your evils 
 will gradually begin to recline, as it were. There is 
 reason to believe that the significators denote that in 
 the course of your futur 7 life you will sometimes be 
 thrown in with men who you will think is your 
 friends, but who will prove to be your enemy. This 
 
Dr. Wilson. 165 
 
 I will not say positively, for I may be mistaken, 
 which I think I am not, but if the time of birth is 
 correct, you are an individdyal as gives likelihoods 
 that such might be the case." 
 
 For more than an hour had the Inquirer been 
 edified and instructed by these " solid chunks of 
 wisdom," which, it will be remembered, were not 
 delivered off-hand, but were carefully ciphered out 
 by elaborate calculations on the slate aforesaid. 
 Lucid and elegant as was the language, and inte- 
 resting as was the matter of these oracular communi- 
 cations, he felt it to be his duty to interrupt them 
 for a time and change the subject to a theme in 
 which he felt a nearer interest ; accordingly he asked 
 the musty Seer about his prospects of future wedded 
 bliss. This was a subject of so great importance 
 that all the other calculations had to be erased from 
 the slate this little operation was accomplished in 
 the manner of the schoolboys who haint got any 
 sponge, and the dirty hand plied briskly for a minute 
 between the juicy mouth and the dingy slate, and 
 
166 The Witches of New York. 
 
 became a shade grimier by this cleanly process. 
 Then a new horoscope was drawn with more signs of 
 the zodiac than ever, and in due time the result was 
 thus announced: 
 
 "I shall now endeavor to give you a description 
 of the sort of person you might be most likeliest to 
 marry. There is indications that your wife might be 
 respectable. The significators do not denote that 
 there is a likelihood that you might marry a very 
 old woman. She would be as likely to have fair hair 
 and blue eyes as anything else; nor would she be 
 likely to be very much too tall, and I don't imagine 
 you are an individdyal that might be likely to marry 
 a woman who was very short. She may not be very 
 old, but I do not think that the indications point her 
 out as being likely to be a child ; in fact, I think it 
 possible that she may be of the ordinary age, though 
 I do not wish to be understood as being positive on 
 all these points, for I may be mistaken, though I 
 think you will find that there is a likelihood that 
 these things may be so. You will be married twice, 
 
Dr. Wilson. 167 
 
 and I think you are an individdyal that would be 
 likely to have children six children I think there is 
 indications that you may be likely to have. The 
 significators point out one very evil condition, and I 
 think I may say that I'm quite sure. I'm positive 
 that you will separate from your first wife. No, I 
 will not say that yours is a quarrelsome natur', but 
 the significators look bad. Things is worse, in fact, 
 than I told you of, and now I look again and am 
 sure you are prepared, I will say that there cannot 
 be a doubt that you will pizon your first wife. It can- 
 not be any other way ; there is no mistake ; it is so ; 
 it must be true; the fact is this, and thus I tell you, 
 you ivill pizon your first wife. And, my young friend, 
 I will advise you, in case your married futur' is 
 unhappy, and you do find it necessary to give pizon 
 to your consort, do not tell anybody of your inten- 
 tions ; do not let it be known ; and you must do it in 
 
 v 
 such a way as not to be suspected, or people will 
 
 think hard of you, and there may be trouble." 
 
 This was a touch of wisdom for which Johannes 
 
168 The Witches of New York. 
 
 was not prepared ; so lie snatched his hat and hastily 
 left the sepulchral premises, conscious of his inability 
 to receive another such a " chunk" without being 
 completely floored. 
 
 He now expresses the opinion that Dr. Wilson 
 wanted to get the job of " pizoning " that first wife, 
 and that he would have done it with pleasure at less 
 than the market price. 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 Gives a history of how Mrs. Hayes, the Clairvoyant, of 
 No. 176 Grand Street, does the Conjuring Trick. 
 
 8 
 
 Or TKE 
 
 NIVERSJTY 
 
 Of 
 fF 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 MRS. HAYES, A CLAIRVOYANT, No. 176 GRAND 
 STREET. 
 
 THERE are a dozen or more of these "Clairvoyants" 
 in the city who profess to cure diseases, and to work 
 other wonders by the aid of their so-called wonderful 
 power. As their mode of proceeding is very much 
 the same in all cases, a description of one or two will 
 give an idea of the whole. Their principal business 
 is to prescribe for bodily ills, and did they confine 
 themselves to this alone, they would not be legitimate 
 subjects of mention in this book. But in addition to 
 their medical practice they also tell about "absent 
 friends;" tell whether projected business undertakings 
 will fall out well or ill; whether contemplated mar- 
 riages will be prosperous or otherwise : whether a 
 
172 The Witches of New York. 
 
 person will be "lucky" in life, whether his children 
 will be happy, and, in short, they do pretty much the 
 regular fortune-telling routine, whenever the questions 
 of the customer lead that way. 
 
 The theory as given by them, of a Clairvoyant 
 diagnosis of a malady, is this : that the Clairvoyant, 
 when thrown by mesmeric influence into the " trance" 
 state, is enabled to see into Hie body of tfie patient and 
 discern what organs, if any, are deranged, and in what 
 manner ; or to ascertain precisely the nature of the 
 morbific condition of the body, and having thus 
 discovered what part of the vital mechanism is out of 
 order, they are able, they argue, to prescribe the best 
 means for restoring the apparatus to a normal state. 
 
 There are many thousands of persons who believe 
 this stuff, and endanger their lives and health by 
 trusting to these empirics. Several of the most popular 
 of them have as many patients as they can attend to, 
 and are rapidly amassing fortunes. Most of them have 
 a superficial knowledge of Medicine, and are thus 
 enabled to do, with a certain amount of impunity, 
 
Mrs. Hayes. 173 
 
 many dark deeds. It is reported of more than one of 
 these women that she has done as many deeds of child- 
 murder as did even the notorious Madame Restell. 
 
 In this regard, they are among the most dangerous 
 and criminal of all the Witches. 
 
 The " Individual " visited Mrs. Hayes, who is one 
 of the most ignorant of the whole lot, and Mrs. Sey- 
 mour, who is one of the most intelligent of all. He 
 sets down the particulars of his visit to the former, in 
 the words following : 
 
 How the "Individual" sees a Clairvoyant How he pays a 
 Dollar, and what he gets for his money. 
 
 "Not all the sorcery of all the sorcerers ; not all the 
 necromancy of all the necromancers ; not all the con- 
 jurations of all masculine conjurers ; not all the magic 
 of all male magicians ; not all the charming of all the 
 charmers, charm they never so wisely, could have 
 induced Johannes to ever more place the slightest trust 
 in a wizard, or repose in any wonderworker of the 
 bearded sex the merest trifle of faith, even the most 
 
174 The Witches of New York. 
 
 infinitesimal trituration of the homoeopathicest grain. 
 The single dose he had received from the renowned 
 Doctor Wilson was quite enough, and had satisfied all 
 his longings for wisdom of that sort. 
 
 Besides, his coming events cast such peculiar and 
 very unpleasant shadows before, that he preferred to 
 keep out of the grim presence of such shady men, 
 and for all after time to bask him only in the sunshine 
 of smiling women. 
 
 " Pizon his first wife" would he? Well, he could 
 have taken that "pizon" with tolerable composure 
 from the lips of lovely woman, but to receive it 
 from the mumbling mouth of a skinny old man, was 
 too much to accept without divers rebellious grins. 
 
 A peach-cheeked witch, a cherry -lipped conjuress 
 a Circe, with only enough charms to make a respecta- 
 ble photograph, might with impunity have called him 
 a counterfeiter, or a horse-thief, or even a thimble- 
 rigger ; or might have told him that he would, upon 
 opportunity, garotte his grandmother for the small 
 price of seventy cents and her snuff-box ; or that he 
 
Mrs. Hayes. 175 
 
 was in the habit of attending funerals to pick the 
 pockets of the mourners, and of going to church that 
 he might steal the pennies from the poor-box, all this 
 would he have borne uncomplainingly from a woman ; 
 but these unpalatable statements from one of the mas- 
 culine gender would be " most tolerable and not to be 
 endured." 
 
 He felt that if he had not rushed incontinently 
 from the presence of that underground star-gazer Dr. 
 Wilson, he must either have punched that respected 
 person's venerated head, or have laughed in his 
 honored face. In either case he would, of course, 
 have roused the extensive ire of that potent worthy, 
 and have been at once exposed to a fire of super- 
 natural influences that would have been probably 
 unpleasant, to say the least. 
 
 The unmusical Johannes looks upon accordeons as 
 cruel instruments of refined torture, and detests them 
 as the vilest of all created or invented things, and he 
 had been very careful to offend none of the magic 
 community, lest he should, by some high-pressure 
 
176 The Witches of New York. 
 
 power of their enchanted spells, be transformed into 
 an accordeon, and he condemned to eternally have 
 shrieking music pulled out of his bowels by unrelent- 
 ing boys. 
 
 Having this terrible possible doom continually 
 before his mind's optics, he felt that it would be only 
 the part of prudence to avoid the company of those 
 black art professors in whose presence he could not 
 keep all his feelings well in hand. So, no more 
 wizards would he visit, but the witches should hence- 
 forth have his entire attention. 
 
 It is a fortunate circumstance that there are no other 
 men than the aforesaid Doctor Wilson, in the witch 
 business in New York, so that there would be no 
 temptation to break this resolve, and he probably 
 would not be troubled to keep it. 
 
 There is one breed of the modern witch that pre- 
 tends to a sort of superiority in blood and manners, 
 and those who practise this peculiar branch of the 
 business put on certain aristocratic airs and utterly 
 refuse to consort with those of another stamp. They 
 
Mrs. Hayes. 177 
 
 disdain the title of "Astrologers," or " Astrologists," 
 as most of them phrase it, and in their advertisements 
 utterly repudiate the idea that they are "Fortune 
 Tellers." 
 
 These are the " Clairvoyants," who do business by 
 means of certain select mummeries of their own, and 
 who make a great deal of money in their trade. 
 There are a great number of these in the city, so many 
 indeed that the business is over-done, and the price 
 of retail clairvoyance has come materially down. 
 The same dose of this article that formerly cost five 
 dollars, may now be had for fifty cents, and the 
 quality is not deteriorated, but is quite as good now 
 as it ever was. 
 
 To one of these supernatural women did the hero 
 resolve to pay his next visit, and he selected the abode 
 of Mrs. Hayes, of 176 Grand Street, for his initiatory 
 consultation. 
 
 With the mysterious psychological phenomena de- 
 nominated by those who profess to know them best, 
 
 "clairvoyant manifestations," Johannes had nothing 
 
 8* 
 
] 78 The Witches of New York. 
 
 to do, and%ras content, as every one of the uninitiated 
 must perforce be, to accept the say-so of the spiritual- 
 istic journals that there are such phenomena and that 
 they are unexplained and mysterious. No outside 
 unbelievers in Spiritualism and the kindred arts may 
 ever know anything of clairvoyant developments and 
 demonstrations, save such one-sided varnished state- 
 ments as the journals that deal in that sort of 
 commodities choose to lay before the world. Every 
 man must be spiritually wound up to concert pitch 
 before he is in a condition to receive the highest 
 revelations of the clairvoyant speculators. So that, 
 whether the clairvoyance that is sold for money be a 
 spurious or a superfine article few can tell. Certain it 
 is that it is the same sort of stuff that has ever been 
 retailed to the public under the name of clairvoyance, 
 ever since the discovery of that remunerative humbug. 
 It is more than likely that the twaddle of Mrs. Hayes, 
 Mrs. Seymour, and the rest of the fortune-telling 
 crew, would be repudiated by Andrew Jackson Davis 
 and the rest of the spiritualistic firstchoppers, but it 
 
Mrs. Hayes. 179 
 
 is none the less true that these gifted women sell their 
 pretended knowledge of spirits and spiritual persons 
 and things, with as much pretentiousness to unerring 
 truth, as that veritable seer himself, and at a much 
 lower price. 
 
 The clairvoyant department of modern witchcraft is 
 necessarily carried on by a partnership, and one which 
 is not identical with the legendary league with the 
 devil. Two visible persons constitute the firm, for it 
 takes a double team to do the work, and if the amiable 
 gentleman just referred to makes a third in the concern, 
 he is a silent partner who merely furnishes capital, 
 while his name is not known in the business. The 
 whole theory of clairvoyance as applied to fortune- 
 telling and other branches of cheap necromancy, seems 
 to be somewhat like this. 
 
 A strong-minded person, generally a man with a 
 physique like a Centre-Market butcher boy, obtains by 
 some means possession of an extra soul or two, or spirit, 
 or whatever else that intangible thing may be called. 
 These spirits are always second-rate articles, not good 
 
1 80 The Witches of New York. 
 
 enough to be put into vigorous and strong bodies, and 
 which have been therefore hastily cased up in an 
 inferior kind of human frame as a sort of make-shift 
 for men and women. 
 
 Your professional clairvoyant is always, both as to 
 soul and body, a botched-up job that nature ought to 
 be ashamed of, and probably is, if she'd own up. 
 
 The senior partner of the clairvoyant fortune-telling 
 firm, the strong-minded one, according to their pro- 
 fessions, has the arbitrary control of the cast-off souls 
 that animate these refuse bodies. By what spiritual 
 hocus-pocus this is managed is not known to those 
 outside the trade. He uses their half-baked spirits 
 at his will, and makes his living by farming them out 
 to do dirty jobs for the paying public. He discon- 
 nects them from their mortal vehicles, and sends them 
 on errands in the spirit-land in behalf of his cus- 
 tomers, looking up their " absent friends," both in and 
 out of the body telling of their health and prosperity 
 if they are still alive, and picking up little bits of scan- 
 dal about their angels if they are dead. The senior 
 
Mrs. Hayes. 181 
 
 partner also sends his abject two-and-sixpenny souls 
 to explore the bodies of his sick customers and 
 examine their internal machinery, point out any little 
 defects or disarrangements, and suggest the proper 
 remedies therefor, and in short, to do whatever other 
 dirty work the customer may choose to pay for. 
 
 The senior partner of course pockets all the money, 
 merely keeping the mortal tenement in which the 
 working partner dwells in a good state of repair, in 
 consideration of services rendered. 
 
 Such a partnership is the one of Mr. and Mrs. 
 Hayes, whose place of business is advertised every 
 day in the morning papers in the words following : 
 
 " CLAIRVOYANCE. Astonishing cures and great discoveries 
 daily made by MRS. HAYES, that superior and wonderful clair- 
 voyant. All diseases discovered and cured (if curable). Uner- 
 ring advice given respecting persons in business, absent friends, 
 &c. Satisfactory examinations given in all cases, or no charge 
 made. Residence, 176 Grand St. N. Y." 
 
 Johannes, whose general health was excellent, and 
 
182 The Witches of New York. 
 
 whose internal apparatus was all right so far as heard 
 from, had therefore no occasion to be astonishingly 
 cured, or to have any great discoveries made in him 
 by Mrs. Hayes ; still he was desirous of a little " uner- 
 ring advice about absent friends," etc., from "that 
 superior and wonderful clairvoyant." 
 
 Besides, it was barely possible that in the person 
 of the superior and wonderful Mrs. Hayes, he might 
 find the bride for whom he pined. With hope slightly 
 renewed within his speculative breast, he set off joy- 
 fully for the designated domicile, which he achieved 
 in the due course of travel. 
 
 The house No. 176 Grand Street is a brick two- 
 story dwelling, of a dingy drab color, as though it had 
 been steeped in a Quaker atmosphere and had there 
 imbibed its color, which had since been overlaid with 
 " world's people's" dirt. 
 
 The door was opened by Mrs. Hayes in person, her 
 body on this occasion being sent with her spirit to 
 do a bit of drudgery. 
 
 She is a woman of the most abject and cringing 
 
Mrs. Hayes. 183 
 
 manner imaginable; a female counterpart of Uriah 
 Heep, with an unknown multiplication of that vermi- 
 cular gentleman's writhings ; she wore no hoops, she 
 would have squirmed herself out of them in an instant ; 
 her dress was fastened securely on with numerous 
 visible hooks and eyes, and pins, and strings, in spite 
 of which precautions her visitor expected to see her 
 worm out of it before she got up stairs, and would 
 scarcely have been astonished to see her jerk her 
 skeleton out of her skin, and complete her errand in 
 her bones. 
 
 "With a propitiating bow, whose intense servility 
 would have become Mr. Sampson Brass in the day of 
 his discomfiture, she asked her customer into the 
 house, cringingly preceded him up stairs, deferentially 
 placed a chair, and abjectly departed into an inner 
 room, pausing at the door to execute an obsequious 
 wriggle, and to once more humble herself in the dust 
 (of which there was plenty) before her astonished 
 visitor. 
 
 The reception-room to which she led him, is an 
 
184 The Witches of New York. 
 
 apartment of moderate size, from the front windows 
 of which the beholder may regale his eyes with a com- 
 prehensive view of Centre Market and its charming 
 surroundings ; Mott and Mulberry Streets lie just 
 beyond, and the Tombs are visible in the dim distance. 
 The room was furnished with a superfluity of gaudy 
 furniture; and sofas, tables, chairs and pictures, 
 crowded and elbowed each other, showing plainly 
 that the upholstery of a couple, at least, of parlors had 
 been there compressed into a bedroom 
 
 From the inner room came a great sound, made up 
 of so many household ingredients as to defy accurate 
 analysis but the crying of babies, the frizzling of 
 cooking meat, the scraping of saucepans, and a sound 
 of somebody scolding everybody else, predominated. 
 
 The voyager was unprepared for any Mister Hayes, 
 having taken it for granted that the Mrs. of the supe- 
 rior and wonderful clairvoyant did not imply a hus- 
 band, but was merely assumed because it looks more 
 dignified in the advertisement. But there was a Mr. 
 Hayes, and presently the door opened and that wor- 
 
Mrs. Hayes. 185 
 
 thy appeared ; he was surrounded by an atmosphere 
 of fried onions, and the fragrant and greasy perspira- 
 tion in his face seemed to have been distilled from 
 that favorite vegetable. 
 
 Mr. Hayes is a tall, fierce, sharp-spoken man, of 
 manners so very rough and bearish that his wife and 
 children quailed when he spoke as if they expected an 
 instant blow. We don't know that it ever will be 
 possible for a man to garrote his guardian angel for 
 the sake of her golden crown, but the idea occurred 
 to Johannes that if that amiable feat is ever accom- 
 plished, it will be by such another man as this. He 
 seemed as unable to speak a kind or gentle word as to 
 pull his boots off over his ears. He is an Englishman, 
 and speaks with the most intolerable cockney accent. 
 Moderating his harsh tones until they were almost as 
 pleasant as the threatenings of an ill-natured bull-dog, 
 and addressing his auditor, he growled out the follow 
 ing specimen of delectable English : 
 
 " There is lots of folks goin' round town pretendin' 
 to do clairvoyance, and to cure sick folks, and to tell 
 
i86 The Witches of New York. 
 
 fortunes, and business, and journeys, and stole pro* 
 pertj ; but we ain't none of them people. We only 
 do this for the sake of doin' good, and we don't want 
 to do nothin' that will make any trouble. We used 
 to tell things about stole property, and about family 
 troubles, and so we sometimes used to get folks into 
 musses, but we don't do nothin' of that kind now. 
 If your business is about any kind of muss and trouble 
 in your family we don't want nothin' to do with it. 
 Sometimes folks that has quarrelled their wives away 
 come to us and wants us to get them back again, but 
 we don't do nothing of that sort. We can tell 'em if 
 their wives are well, or if they're sick and all about 
 what ails 'em, and so we can about any people that is 
 gone off anywhere, and them's what we call ' absent 
 friends.' So if you've got any trouble with your wife 
 we can't do nothin.' for you." 
 
 The love-lorn visitor had no wives, a fact known to 
 the reader already, and when he does accumulate a 
 help-meet, he sincerely trusts she may not be so unruly 
 as to require the interference of outsiders to preserve 
 
Mrs. Hayes. 187 
 
 harmony in the family. He expressed himself to that 
 effect, and added that his business was to find out 
 about the well-being of some friends in Minnesota, and 
 to ascertain particulars about some other trifles neces- 
 sary to his peace of mind. 
 
 Hereupon Mr. Hayes, with a growl like a sulky 
 rhinoceros, opened the door which cut off the pot-and- 
 kettle Babel of the other room, and commanded his 
 wife to come, and that estimable lady, who is evidently 
 in a state of excellent subordination, instantly writhed 
 herself into the room. She sat down in an armchair, 
 and began to evolve a most remarkable series of 
 inane smiles, each one of which began somewhere 
 down her throat, rose to her mouth by jerks, and 
 finally faded away at the top of her head and the tips 
 of her ears. It was a purely spasmodic thing of dis- 
 agreeable habit, without a particle of geniality or 
 feeling about it. 
 
 While this curious process was going on, the Doc- 
 tor had drawn down the window-shades, thus darken- 
 ing the room, and now approached for the purpose of 
 
i88 The Witches of New York. 
 
 unhooking from its earthly tabernacle the soul that 
 was to step up to Minnesota and bring back word to 
 his customer " how all the folks got along." This he 
 accomplished by a few mysterious mesmeric passes, 
 and when the trance was induced, and the spirit had, 
 so to speak, tucked its breeches into its boots ready 
 for the muddy journey, he placed in the hand of 
 Johannes that of the corpus which still remained in 
 the armchair, and said to the disembodied spirit : 
 
 " Now, I want you to go with this gentleman to 
 Brooklyn and take a fair start from there, and then go 
 where he tells you to, and tell him what things there 
 is there that you see." 
 
 Having delivered this injunction in a tone so in- 
 describably savage that he had better a thousand times 
 have struck her in the face, this amiable animal 
 retired to the Babel, taking with him the fried-onion 
 atmosphere. 
 
 Then the woman in the chair began to speak, in a 
 style the most disagreeable and affected that anybody 
 ever listened to. It was more like that sickening gib- 
 
Mrs. Hayes. 189 
 
 berish that nurses call "baby-talk" than anything 
 else in the world. She spoke with a detestable whine, 
 and pronounced each syllable of every word separately, 
 as if she feared a two-syllable word might choke 
 her. Sick at the stomach as was her visitor at the 
 whole babyish performance, he so far controlled his 
 qualms as to note down the words hereunder written. 
 
 Whoever has heard this woman in a profes- 
 sional way can testify to the verbatim truth of this 
 sketch. 
 
 " There is wa-ter that we must cross, we must go 
 in a boat musn't we ? Now we're in the boat, and 
 I see so many put-ty things, men, and dogs, and ships 
 and things going up and down ; such beau-ti-ful things 
 I have never seened before. Now we are a-cross the 
 riv-er, and now we must get on the car, musn't we ? 
 What car must we get on ? 01 see it now, the yel- 
 low car. Now we are going a-long and I can see 
 what a pret-ty dress in that store. what real nice 
 can-dy that is. I wish I had some don't you ? Now 
 we're at the house. Is it the one on the cor-ner, or 
 
1 90 The Witches of New York. 
 
 the next one to it, or is it the brick house with the 
 green blinds ? No, the wood one with green blinds ; 
 so it is, but I didn't be here be-fore ev-er in my life. 
 Now we will go in-to the house ; I see a car-pet there 
 and some chairs and some what a pret-ty pic-ture, 
 and what a nice fire. I see a la-dy of ver-y pret-ty 
 ap-pear-ance. She is a young la-dy ; she has got blue 
 eyes, she is stand-ing sideways so I can't see noth-ing 
 of her but one side of her face. There is al-so an 
 el-der-ly la-dy, but I can't see much of her. They ap- 
 pear to be go-ing on a jour-ney, shall I go with them ? 
 Yes, well I will. Now we are on the wa-ter and 
 what a pret-ty boat now we are get-ting off of the 
 boat I didn't nev-er be here be-fore. Now we 
 are on a rail-road, I nev-er seened this rail-road 
 be-fore but what a pret-ty ba-by. Now we 
 go along, along, along, along, and now we are at the 
 de-pot. I didn't ev-er be here ei-ther there is a 
 riv-er here, and a mill and a what a pret-ty cow 
 some-body is go-ing to milk the cow. There is a town 
 here it seems as if I did be here before yes I am 
 
Mrs. Hayes. 191 
 
 sure what a pret-ty lit-tle car-riage, and what a 
 pret-ty dog. Yes I am sure I seened this town be-fore, 
 but these rail-roads didn't be here then." 
 
 By this time the travellers were supposed to have 
 reached St. Paul, and the reliable clairvoyant then 
 proceeded to describe that interesting young city ; and 
 in the course of her speech made more improvements 
 there than will be accomplished in reality in less than 
 a year or two certainly. 
 
 Among other things, Mrs. Hayes described as at 
 present existing in St. Paul, two Colleges, a City Hall 
 built of white marble, a locomotive factory, and a 
 place where they were building seven ocean steamers. 
 
 She then, when she arrived at the house, in the 
 course of her mesmeric journey, where the people 
 concerning whom Johannes had inquired were sup- 
 posed to be at that present domiciled, proceeded to 
 give descriptions of those whom she saw there, of the 
 looks of the country and of the house. 
 
 And such descriptions, as much like the truth as a 
 ton of " T" rail is like a boiled custard. 
 
192 The Witches of New York. 
 
 By asking leading questions the seeker after clair- 
 voyant knowledge got some very original information. 
 He only began this course after he found that she, 
 if left to herself, could describe nothing, and could 
 utter no speech more coherent or sensible than that 
 already set down as coming from her illustrious lips. 
 
 In fact, the policy of the clairvoyant- witch in every 
 case, is to wait for leading questions from the anxious 
 inquirer, so that the answers may be framed to suit the 
 exigencies of the case. Johannes was not slow to 
 perceive this, and by way of testing the science, or 
 rather, art of clairvoyance, he put a series of questions 
 which established the following interesting facts, all 
 of which were positively averred to be true by Mrs. 
 Hayes, "that superior and wonderful clairvoyant." 
 
 Minnesota Territory is a small town situated 911 
 miles south-east of the mouth of the Mississippi River 
 its officers are a chief cook and 23 high privates, 
 besides the younger brother of Shakspeare, who is the 
 Mayor of the Territory, and whose principal business it 
 is to keep the American flag at half-mast, upside down. 
 
Mrs. Hayes. 193 
 
 When this last important information had been eli- 
 cited, Johannes, who thought he had got the worth 
 of his money, recalled Dr. Hayes, who re-appeared, 
 surrounded by the same old atmosphere of the same 
 old onions ; to him the customer resigned the hand 
 of the twaddling adult baby who had held his hand 
 for an hour and a half, paid his dollar, and then pre- 
 pared to depart. 
 
 The soul of the woman then returned from its long 
 journey, and was locked up in its squirmy body by 
 the Doctor, ready to serve future customers at one 
 dollar a head. 
 
 She didn't seem glad to get her soul back again, 
 there probably not being enough to give her any great 
 joy, after she had got it. 
 
 Johannes turned moodily away, feeling that the 
 conjuress, his future bride, the renovator of his broken 
 fortunes, and the ready relief to his present necessities, 
 was as far distant as ever. 
 
CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Tells all about Mrs. Seymour, the Clairvoyant, of No. 
 110 Spring Street, and what she had to say. 
 
CHAPTER IX. 
 
 MRS. SEYMOUR, CLAIRVOYANT, No. no SPRING 
 STREET. 
 
 THIS woman is at the same time one of the most 
 pretentious and most clever of the clairvoyants, and 
 she does a very large business. Most of her customers 
 come for medical advice, although, in accordance with 
 her printed announcement, she is willing to talk about 
 " absent friends," and whatever other business the 
 client may choose to pay for. 
 
 One branch of the clairvoyant trade which formerly 
 brought as much money to their pockets as any other 
 department of their business, was the finding lost or 
 stolen property, and giving directions for the detection 
 of the thieves. This specialty has however been pretty 
 much abandoned of late by nearly all of them, in con- 
 
198 The Witches of New York. 
 
 sequence of law-proceedings against certain ones of 
 the sisterhood, which have in three or four instances 
 been commenced by parties who have been wrongfully 
 accused of theft, through the agency of the clairvoyant 
 impostors. Several suits have been instituted against 
 them for defamation of character, and they have been 
 made to smart so severely that they are now all very 
 careful about accusing persons of crimes, 
 
 As an evidence of the implicit faith put in these 
 people by their dupes, it may be mentioned that many 
 applications have been made to Judge "Welsh, of this 
 city, and to the other judges, for warrants of arrest 
 against respectable persons, for theft, the only grounds 
 of suspicion against them being, that some clairvoy- 
 ant had said that the property had been stolen by a 
 person of such and such a height, with hair and eyes 
 of this or that color, and that the suspected person 
 happened to answer the description. Of course, all 
 such applications for legal process have been refused 
 by the magistrates, and the applicants dismissed with 
 a severe rebuke. 
 
Mrs. Seymour. 199 
 
 Mrs. Seymour was an intimate friend of Mrs. Cun- 
 ningham, of the Burdell-murder notoriety, and was a 
 witness in that memorable trial. 
 
 The Cash Customer had an interview with this 
 woman, which he thus describes: 
 
 Another Clairvoyant, who is not much in particular. 
 
 If a man be desirous 'of knowing what sort of a 
 moral character he bears in the spirit-world, and 
 what style of society his disembodied soul will circu- 
 late in, or if he desires to know the particulars of the 
 after-death behavior of any of his acquaintances, of 
 course he will find it to his interest to marry a 
 " medium " of average respectability, and in good 
 practice, and so save the expense of frequent consul- 
 tations. The "rapping" and "table-tipping" com- 
 munications from the spirit- world are hardly satisfac- 
 tory. It is, very likely, pleasant for a man to be on 
 speaking terms with his bedroom furniture, to spend 
 an agreeable hour occasionally in conversation with 
 
2oo The Witches of New York. 
 
 his washhand-stand, to enjoy a spirited argument 
 with his bedstead and rocking-chair, or to receive 
 now and then a confidential communication from his 
 bootjack, but on the whole, these upholstery dialogues 
 do not satisfy the " yearnings of the soul after the 
 infinite," The powers of speech of a washhand-stand 
 are circumscribed, bedsteads and rocking-chairs are 
 seldom equal to a sustained conversation, and the 
 most talkative bootjack has not a sufficient command 
 of language to make itself agreeable for any great 
 length of time. The logic of a poker may sometimes 
 be convincing, but it is not generally agreeable ; and 
 the rhetoric of uneducated coal-scuttles is hardly 
 elegant enough to pass the criticism of a refined taste. 
 It is therefore much more satisfactory as well as econo- 
 mical, for a person who desires to enjoy his daily chat 
 with the Spirits, to get a " speaking medium " to 
 translate the eloquence of all parties and make the 
 thing pleasant. Even then, confidential communica- 
 tions must be very guarded, and on this account the 
 person who invents some means by which every man 
 
Mrs. Seymour. 201 
 
 can be his own medium, will win an equal immor- 
 tality with the author of that invaluable book, " Every 
 Man his own Washerwoman." 
 
 Johannes had been thinking over the spiritual sub- 
 ject, of course with a view to profitable matrimony, for 
 he thought he could manage to turn an intimacy with 
 the spirits to good pecuniary account, and inveigle 
 those incorporeal gentlemen into doing something for 
 those of their friends who are yet bothered with bodies. 
 
 He knew that there are in New York, plenty of 
 spiritualists in such constant communication with their 
 acquaintances on the " other side of Jordan," that 
 they know the bill of fare with which those seventh- 
 heaveners are served every day, and whenever their 
 jolly ghostships sit down to a pleasant game of whist, 
 they send word to their earthly relatives by "medium" 
 every fresh deal, what the new trump is, who hold the 
 honors, and how the game stands generally. 
 
 So close a familiarity with superior beings as this, 
 could be easily turned to practical account and made 
 
 to pay handsomely, by a Spiritualist with a utilitarian 
 
 0* 
 
202 The Witches of New York. 
 
 turn of mind. If he could but get his spirits into 
 proper subjection how useful would they not be in 
 the patent medicine business, in the way of inventing 
 new remedies ; how invaluable would they be to an 
 editor ; in fact, how particularly useful in almost any 
 kind of business. 
 
 But his great plan was to train a- corps of light-footed 
 .and gentle ghosts to carry news ; they would of course 
 beat locomotives, carrier pigeons, and electric tele- 
 graphs out of sight ; seas, mountains, and such trifling 
 obstacles would be no hindrance to them, and the 
 Associated Press, to say nothing of the Board of 
 Brokers, would pay handsomely for their services. 
 Of course a ghost with any pretensions to speed would 
 bring us detailed news from London in half-an-hour 
 or so, without putting himself out of breath in the 
 least, thus beating the telegraph by a length. And 
 so Johannes, fully determined on this promising 
 scheme, began to cast about him for a medium who 
 was acquainted in the spirit sphere, to introduce him 
 to some of the eligible ghosts. 
 
Mrs. Seymour. 203 
 
 He knew that most of the clairvoyant women are 
 " mediums," and thought very naturally that women 
 who already earned their living by clairvoyance, 
 would be the very ones to enter heart and soul with 
 him into his spiritualistic scheme. 
 
 Yes, he would marry a medium, and if she was a 
 professional clairvoyant, so much the better, his bow 
 would have another string. 
 
 In his search for a witch- wife he would not have 
 been justified in interfering at all with the clairvoyants 
 had it not been for the fact that they mix a little witch- 
 craft with their regular business. Their ostensible trade 
 is to diagnose and prescribe for different varieties of 
 internal disease, and so this particular branch of hum- 
 bug would not have come within the scope of the 
 voyager's investigations, were it not that several of 
 these practitioners advertise to "tell the past, present, 
 and future, describe the future husband or wife, mark 
 out correctly the exact course of future life, give 
 unerring advice about business, absent friends, etc." 
 
 All this had too strong a savor. of witchcraft to be 
 
204 The Witches of New York. 
 
 ignored, and accordingly Johannes set forth on his 
 journey to visit another of these mysteriously clear- 
 sighted persons, keeping in view all the time the 
 probabilities of her being an A 1 spiritual medium, 
 and the very person whose aid would be invaluable 
 in his new journalistic enterprise. 
 
 Mrs. Seymour, of No. 110 Spring Street, was the 
 person towards whose house the Cash Customer bent 
 his steps, after reading the subjoined advertisement 
 of her powers and capabilities. 
 
 " CLAIRVOYANCE. Mrs. SEYMOUR, 110 Spring Street, a few 
 doors west of Broadway, the most successful medical and business 
 Clairvoyant in America. All diseases discovered and cured, if 
 curable; unerring advice on business, absent friends, &c., and 
 satisfaction in all cases, or no charge made." 
 
 The clairvoyant branch of the fortune-telling busi- 
 ness seems to require a certain amount of respec- 
 tability in its practices, and they sneer at the 
 grosser deceptions of the more vulgar of the necro- 
 mantic trade. They keep aloof from the greasier 
 sisters of the profession, and they feel it due to the 
 
Mrs. Seymour. 205 
 
 dignity of their station to reject the cards, the magic 
 mirrors, the Bibles and keys, the mysterious pebbles 
 and the other tricks which do well enough for twenty- 
 five cent customers ; to sojourn in reputable streets, 
 in respectable houses, and to have clean faces when 
 visitors come in. There are, it is true, clairvoyants 
 in the city who live wretchedly in miserable cellars, 
 whose garments and very hair are populated with 
 various specimens of animated nature, and whose 
 bodies are so filthy that the beholder wonders why 
 the spirits, which are so often disconnected from them 
 and sent on far-off missions, do not avail themselves 
 of the leave of absence to desert for ever such unsa- 
 vory corporeal habitations. But the majority of these 
 persons prefer parlors to basements, and make up the 
 difference in expenses by double-charging their cus- 
 tomers. Many of them, as before stated, combine a lit- 
 tle spiritualism of the other sort with the clairvoy- 
 ance, and they can all go into a trance on short notice 
 and rhapsodize with all the fervor if not the eloquence 
 of Mrs. Cora Hatch ; they can all do the table-tipping 
 
206 The Witches of New York. 
 
 trick, and are up to more rappings than the Eochester 
 Fox girls ever thought of. For these several reasons 
 therefore Mrs. Seymour would be a wife worth 
 having, or at least so thought Johannes as he pon- 
 dered these truths, and arranged in his mind his plan 
 of attack on the affections of that susceptible lady. 
 
 The house No. 110 Spring Street, occupied by Mrs. 
 Seymour for business purposes, is not more seedy in 
 appearance than the majority of half-way decent 
 tenant houses, which all have a decrepit look after 
 they are four or five years old, as though youthful dis- 
 sipations had made them weak in the joints. From 
 appearances, Mrs. Seymour's house had been more 
 than commonly rakish in its juvenility, but it still 
 had that look of better days departed, which, in the 
 human kind, is peculiar to decayed ministers of the 
 gospel. It is a house where a man on a small salary 
 would apply for cheap board. Hither the inquirer 
 repaired, and shamefacedly knocked at the door, and 
 was admitted by a frowzy, coarse, plump, semi-respect- 
 able girl, who would have been the better for a wash- 
 
Mrs. Seymour. 207 
 
 ing. She opened the door and the customer entered 
 the reception-room, and had ample time before the 
 appearance of the mistress to take an observation. 
 
 The parlor was neatly, though rather scantily fur- 
 nished, with a rigid economy in the article of chairs. 
 The apartment communicated by folding-doors with 
 another room, whence could be heard an iron noise as 
 of some one scraping a saucepan with a kitchen-spoon. 
 The frowzy girl disappeared into this retired spot, and 
 in about the space of time that would be occupied by 
 an enterprising woman in rolling down her sleeves, 
 taking off her apron, and washing her hands, the 
 door opened, and Mrs. Seymour presented herself. 
 
 She was a frigid-looking woman, of about 35 years 
 of age, with dark hair and eyes, projecting lips and 
 heavy chin, and was of medium height and size. Her 
 appearance was perhaps lady-like, her movements 
 slow and well considered. She was perfectly self- 
 possessed and calculating, and appeared to cherish no 
 dissatisfaction with herself. Her demeanor, on the 
 whole, was repelling and chilly, and impressed her 
 
208 The Witches of New York. 
 
 visitor very much as if some one had slipped a lump 
 of ice down his back and made him sit on it till it 
 melted. 
 
 She regarded him with a look of professional sus- 
 picion, cast her eye round the room with a quick 
 glance, which instantly inventoried everything therein 
 contained, as though to assure herself of the safety of 
 any small articles which might be scattered about, 
 and then seated herself with an air of preparedness, 
 as if she was perfectly on guard and not to be taken 
 by surprise by anything that might occur. She 
 volunteered a frozen remark or two about the state 
 of the weather, and then subsided into silence, evi- 
 dently waiting to hear the object of the visit. 
 
 Her appearance and demeanor had instantly frozen 
 out of the voyager's mind all thoughts of marriage ; 
 he would as soon have wedded an iceberg, or have 
 taken to his heart of hearts a thermometer with its 
 mercury frozen solid. All he could do was to buy a 
 dollar's worth of her clairvoya&ce and then get out. 
 
 As soon therefore as the first chill had passed off, 
 
Mrs. Seymour. 209 
 
 and he had thawed out a few words for immediate use 
 he asked for a little of that commodity. 
 
 When as he announced that he desired to know 
 about the present well or ill of some absent friends, 
 and that clairvoyance was the branch of her business 
 which would on this occasion be called into requisi- 
 tion, she rose from her seat, walked to the door, never 
 taking her eyes from the hands and pockets of her 
 customer, and called to some one to come in. In 
 obedience to the summons, the frowzy girl entered ; 
 this latter individual, since her first appearance, had 
 taken off her apron and pinned some kind of a collar 
 around her neck, but had not yet found time to comb 
 her hair, which was exceedingly demonstrative, and 
 forced itself upon attention. 
 
 Mrs. Seymour seated herself in a rocking-chair and 
 closed her eyes ; the plump girl stood behind her and 
 pressed her thumbs firmly upon the temples of Mrs. 
 S. for about two minutes, during which time this lat- 
 ter lady lost every instant something of life and ani- 
 mation, until at last she froze up entirely. Then the 
 
21D The Witches of New York. 
 
 frowzy girl made one or two mysterious mesmeric 
 passes over the sleeping beauty from her head to her 
 feet, to fix her in the iceberg state ; then placing the 
 hand of Mrs. S. in the palm of the customer, she 
 left the room. 
 
 The worst of it was that Mrs. Seymour's hand is 
 not an agreeable one to hold ; it is cold and flabby, and 
 not suggestive of vitality. Her face, too, had become 
 pallid and corpse-like, and her thin blue lips were not 
 pleasant to regard. Johannes was puzzled ; he didn't 
 know what to do with the flabby hand, and how he 
 was to get any information about absent friends from 
 a fast-asleep woman he did not, as yet, exactly com- 
 prehend. At this juncture, the lips asked, " Where 
 am I to go to ?" The sitter suppressed a sulphurous 
 reply, and substituted, " To Minnesota." Thereupon, 
 without any more definite direction as to what part 
 of that rather extensive territory she was expected to 
 visit, she sent her spirit off, and immediately uttered 
 these words : 
 
 " I see two old people, two very old people one is 
 
Mrs. Seymour. 2 1 1 
 
 a man and one is a woman ; one of them has been 
 very sick of bilious fever, but is now better, and will 
 soon be quite well again. I can't tell exactly how 
 these people look except that they are very old and 
 both are very grey. They may be husband and wife. 
 I think they are. They are both sitting down now. 
 I also see two young people one of them is a male 
 and the other a female. The- male I do not perceive 
 very plainly, and I cannot make out much about him ; 
 he seems to be standing up and looking very sad, but 
 I can't tell you a great deal about him. The female 
 I can see much better, and can make out more about. 
 She is tall, and has dark hair. She appears to be 
 connected in some way to the old people, but I do not 
 think she is related to the young man, though I can- 
 not exactly make out. She is a very agreeable-look- 
 ing female, rather pretty, I should say, if not posi- 
 tively handsome. She has straight hair and does not 
 wear curls. She is standing up now, and appears to 
 be talking to the young man, who has his back partly 
 turned toward her. I don't quite make out what they 
 
212 The Witches of New York. 
 
 are saying. She has had a very severe attack of sick- 
 ness, but has nearly or quite recovered. She is not, 
 however, what I should call a healthy female, and she 
 will soon have another fit of sickness, which will be 
 worse than the first, and will bring her very low indeed 
 very near to death. But she will not die then, though 
 she is not what I should call a long-lived person. 
 She will certainly die in six or eight years. What 
 disease she will die of I can't just make out, but it 
 will not be of a lingering character : it will carry her 
 off suddenly. These people are all very anxious 
 about you, as if you was one of their family. They 
 have not heard from you lately, and are looking daily 
 for intelligence from you. They have written to you 
 twice within three months. One of the letters got to 
 this city a man took it out of the mail. I don't 
 know where he took it out, and I can't exactly 
 describe the man, but a man took it out of the mail. 
 These people are not satisfied to live where they are 
 now; they are discontented with the country, and 
 will return here in the Spring. They are talking 
 
Mrs. Seymour. 213 
 
 about it now. They would like to come back this 
 Winter, but circumstances are so that they cannot. 
 You may be sure, however, that you will see them 
 here in the Spring. There is no doubt of it ; they 
 will come here in the Spring. The other letter that I 
 told you of that they had written has got here safe, 
 and is now in the Post-Office. You will find it there 
 if you inquire ; you will be sure to get it as soon as 
 you go down to the office." 
 
 This was delivered in a very jerky manner, with 
 occasional twitchings of the face and violent claspings 
 of the hand, which her visitor retained, although it 
 gave him a cold sweat to do it. Johannes, who has 
 friends in Minnesota, 'and whose questions were there- 
 fore all in good faith, tried to get the sleeping female 
 to descend a little more to particulars, to describe indi- 
 viduals or localities minutely enough to be recognised 
 if the descriptions approached the truth; but Mrs. 
 Seymour was not to be caught in this manner. She 
 invariably dodged the question, and dealt only in the 
 most vague and uncertain generalities giving no 
 
214 The Witches of New York. 
 
 description of persons or things that might not have 
 applied with equal accuracy to a hundred other per- 
 sons or things in that or any other locality. Her 
 assertions concerning the persons supposed to be her 
 customer's friends did not approach the truth in any 
 one particular ; nor was there the slightest shadow of 
 even probability in any single statement she uttered. 
 She is not, however, a . woman to lack customers, so 
 long as there remain in the world fools of either sex. 
 When the inquirer had concluded his questioning, 
 he was somewhat at a loss how to awake the woman 
 from her trance, but she solved that little difficulty 
 herself by opening her eyes (as if she had been wide 
 awake all the time) and calling for the beauteous 
 maiden of the snarly hair, who accordingly appeared 
 and made a few mysterious mesmeric passes length- 
 wise of her sleeping mistress, and awoke her to the 
 necessity of dunning her visitor, which she did 
 instantly and with a relish. He paid the demanded 
 dollar and departed. 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 Describes Madame Carzo, the Brazilian Astrologist, of No. 
 
 1 5 1 Bowery, and gives all the romantic adventures 
 
 of the " Individual " with that gay 
 
 South American Naiad. 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 MADAME CARZO, THE BRAZILIAN ASTROLO- 
 GIST, No. 151 BOWERY, 
 
 THE illustrious lady who is the subject of the present 
 chapter, came to the city of New York in 1856, and at 
 once took lodgings and began business in the fortune- 
 telling way. She did well, pecuniarily speaking, for 
 a time, but the details of a visit to her having been 
 published at length in one of the daily journals, she 
 at once retired from the business, and subsided into 
 private life. She is not now extant as a witch, and it 
 is not impossible that she is earning an honester living 
 in other ways. 
 
 The newspaper article that convinced her of the 
 error of her ways, and induced her to give up fortune- 
 telling, is the subjoined chapter by the "Individual :" 
 
 10 
 
21 8 The Witches of New York. 
 
 He meets a Yankee-Brazilian. She is not ill-looking, etc. 
 
 Whether the budding beauties of maidenhood are- 
 inconsistent with the orgies of witchcraft; whether 
 there be an irreconcilable antagonism between youth 
 and loveliness, and the unknown mysteries of the black 
 art, is a vexed question of some interest. Can't a 
 woman be supposed to indulge in a little devilment 
 before her hair turns grey, and her teeth fall out? and 
 is it impossible for her to have reliable and trustworthy 
 dealings with Old Scratch until she is wrinkled and 
 withered ? 
 
 That's what I want to know. 
 
 And I am very naturally urged to the inquiry by the 
 observation that every professional witch in New York 
 calls herself a " Madame." There is not a "Miss" or a 
 " Mademoiselle," in the whole batch. They all make 
 a pretence of being widows, or wives at the very least, 
 as if a certain amount of matrimonial tribulation was 
 indispensable to their accomplishment in the arts of 
 sorcery and magic. The only exception to this rule is 
 
Madame Carzo. 219 
 
 found in the person of a female calling herself " The 
 Gipsy Girl," who is otherwheres mentioned, and in 
 her case the several agencies of nature, rum, and small- 
 pox have made her so strikingly ugly that old age 
 could not add a single other trait of repulsiveness to 
 her excruciating features. 
 
 Now this is all a sad mistake. Let some young and 
 undeniably pretty girl go into the business, and she'd 
 soon get a run of exclusive customers who would stand 
 any price and pay without grumbling. If the original 
 Satan should refuse to recognise her eligibility, and 
 should decline to furnish her with the requisite quantity 
 of diabolic knowledge to set her up in business, she 
 could easily find an opposition devil who would provide 
 her stock in trade, and possibly at something less than 
 the usual rates. I'll be bound that Lucifer doesn't 
 monopolize the whole trade in witchcraft, and pocket 
 all the profits himself; Tor if some of the numerous 
 clerks in his employ haven't yet learned the trick of 
 stealing the stock and selling it at a reduced price, 
 then the young gentlemen of our earthly mercantile 
 
22O The Witches of New York. 
 
 houses are a good deal up-to-smiffer than the virtuous 
 demons of Mr. Satan's establishment. This last-named 
 dealer generally demands the soul of the contracting 
 party in return for the powers and privileges conferred ; 
 and in very many cases he must get decidedly the worst 
 of the bargain, for some of his precious adopted children 
 never had souU enough to pay for the ink to sign it 
 away with; but there is no doubt, in case a brisk 
 competition should arise for customers, that some of 
 his cashiers and head-clerks would contrive to under- 
 sell him even at this price. 
 
 The person who is so very anxious to effect this 
 desirable consummation, and to bring on a crop of 
 young and pretty witches to supersede the grizzled 
 ones of this present generation was Johannes, who had 
 of late been getting rather sick of the "Madames," and 
 would prefer, if possible, to have the rest of his fortunes 
 told by ladies of tenderer agefand greater inexperience 
 in the ways of the world. 
 
 However, he was not the man to be deterred, in his 
 pursuit of wisdom, by the age and ugliness, grey hairs, 
 
Madame Carzo. 221 
 
 wrinkles, false teeth, no teeth, dirt, ignorance, and 
 imbecility lie had encountered, and he was determined 
 to go on to the very end and see if these are the sum 
 total of modern witchcraft. 
 
 And then duns came o'er the spirit of his dream, 
 and fond visions of sundry small debts, paid by magic 
 and a wife, as soon as he should succeed in finding the 
 wife who had the magic, floated across his hard-up 
 brain, and encouraged him to perseverance in his 
 matrimonial quest. And when he had won that 
 invaluable lady, he would stuff his mattress with 
 receipted bills, and cram his pillow with cancelled 
 notes, lie down to pleasant dreams, and awake to 
 ready cash. 
 
 Sweet thought ! 
 
 So he made ready to visit the humble abode of 
 MADAME CARZO, THE BRAZILIAN ASTROLOGIST, 
 No. 151 Bowery. 
 
 To say that he discovered, in this lady, the ideal of 
 his search, that he found her handsome, intelligent, 
 learned in the stars and thoroughly posted in the other 
 
222 The Witches of New York. 
 
 branches of her trade, would be to anticipate. Suffice 
 to say that boa-constrictors, half-naked savages, dye- 
 woods, Jesuit's bark, cockatoos, scorpions and ring- 
 tailed monkeys, are not, as he had hitherto supposed, 
 the only contributions to the happiness of mankind 
 afforded by South America, for the Province of 
 Brazil grows fortune-tellers of a very superior quality 
 as to respectability and neatness of appearance. A 
 Brazilian witch was something new, and without 
 stopping to inquire how she had strayed so far away 
 from home, he immediately argued that that single 
 fact was decidedly in her favor. Thus ran the logic : 
 
 If there be any diabolism in mo4ern witchcraft, the 
 practisers thereof who have received their education 
 in tropical latitudes ought to be the most worthy of 
 credence and belief, inasmuch as the temperature of 
 their places of residence seems to afford a supposition 
 that they live nearer head-quarters, and are, therefore, 
 most likely to receive information by the shortest 
 routes. 
 
 By the time he arrived at the spot where the great 
 
Madame Carzo. 223 
 
 astrologist condescended to abide, he had, by this 
 course of reasoning, convinced himself that he ought 
 to place implicit confidence in any revelations of the 
 future made by the mysterious woman who adver- 
 tised herself and her calling, daily in the papers as 
 follows : 
 
 "MADAME CARZO, the gifted Brazilian Astrologist, tells the 
 fate of every person who visits her with wonderful accuracy, 
 about love, marriage, business, property, losses, things stolen, 
 luck in lotteries, absent friends, at No. 151 Bowery, corner of 
 Broome." 
 
 The South American lady had located her myste- 
 rious self in a fragrant spot. 
 
 The corner of Bowery and Broome Street and 
 vicinity seems to have some kind of a constitutional 
 disorder, and it relieves itself by a cutaneous eruption 
 of low rum shops and pustulous beer saloons, which 
 always look as if they ought to be squeezed and 
 rubbed with ointment of red lead. To an observing 
 person it appears as if the city wanted to scratch itself 
 
224 The Witches of New York. 
 
 in that particular part to relieve the local irritation, 
 and then ought, for the sake of its general health, to 
 take a large dose of brimstone immediately afterward. 
 The liquors sold at these places are those pure and 
 healthful beverages, " warranted to kill at forty rods," 
 and are the very drinks with which a convivial, but 
 revengeful man, would wish to regale his friend 
 against whom he held a secret grudge. Why 
 Madame Carzo had chosen this particular locality, 
 does not appear ; perhaps because the liquor was 
 cheap and the rent low. Certain it is that there she 
 sat, at a window overlooking the Bowery, in full 
 view of all the pedestrians in the street and the pas- 
 sengers in the 4th Avenue Railroad. 
 
 Madame Carzo was, doubtless, deeply attached to 
 her old Brazilian home, and loved to surround 
 herself with circumstances and things that would 
 constantly and vividly recall pleasant memories of her 
 southern country. Cherishing, probably, kindly and 
 regretful remembrances of the harmless reptiles of 
 her own Brazilian forests, she had taken up her abode 
 
Madame Carzo. 225 
 
 in the very thick of the Bowery bar-rooms, as the 
 only things afforded by our frigid climate, at all 
 approaching in life-destroying malignity the speedier 
 venoms to which she had been accustomed in her 
 delightful southern home. First-rate facilities for 
 drugging a man into a state of crazy madness are 
 offered at the bar across the way ; he may swill him- 
 self into a condition of beastly stupidity with lager 
 beer from next door below ; he may be pleasantly 
 poisoned by degrees with the drugged alcohol, in 
 various forms, which is sold next door above ; or he 
 may be more speedily disposed of with a couple of 
 doses of " doctored " whiskey from the festering den 
 just round the corner. Lucrezia Borgia was a 
 novice, a mere babe in toxicology. New York 
 wholesale liquor dealers could teach her the alphabet 
 in the fine art of slow poisoning. She would no 
 longer need the subtle chemistry of the Borgias ; she 
 could learn of them to poison wholesale and to do the 
 work by labor-saving machinery. 
 
 Johannes, resolved that if he should marry the 
 
226 The Witches of New York. 
 
 astrologist he would move out of the neighborhood, 
 and take a house in a cleaner part of the city, 
 for he felt that if he had to do even the courting here, 
 he would have to fumigate himself after every visit 
 to his lady-love as though he had just come out of a 
 yellow-fever ship. He knew that if he should chance 
 to meet the Health Officer in the street after a two 
 hours' stay in that locality, that trusty official would, 
 from the unhealthy smell of his coat, quarantine him 
 for forty days, and put him up to his neck in a barrel 
 of chloride of lime every morning. 
 
 But a full-fledged Cupid is a plucky animal, and 
 not easily killed by anything no more tangible than 
 smell, and the particular Cupid that had possession 
 of the voyager's heart came of a long-suffering breed, 
 and was equal to almost any emergency. So as 
 Johannes did not feel his ardent passion die, or even 
 turn sick at the stomach, he thought he could ma- 
 nage to get through. If he couldn't get along any 
 other way, he could fill his pockets with brimstone 
 matches, and his boots full of blue vitriol. Or he 
 
Madame Carzo. 227 
 
 could carry a bunch of Chinese fire-crackers in his 
 hat, and touch them off on the sly whenever he felt 
 himself in need of a healthy smell. Then he could 
 wash himself all over in lime-water, and drink a quart 
 or so of some liquid disinfectant every time he came 
 away. So he went ahead. 
 
 Madame Carzo, the Brazilian interpreter of Yankee 
 fate and fortunes, lives in the third story of the house 
 No. 151 Bowery, with her sister, a girl of about 
 fifteen years of age. The wo occupy themselves 
 with plain sewing, except when the Madame is over- 
 hauling the future and taking a look at the hereafter 
 of some anxious inquirer, who pays her as much for 
 the reliable information she imparts in three minutes, 
 as she would charge him for making three shirts. 
 The inquirer gave his customary modest ring at the 
 door, and was admitted with as little question as if he 
 had been the taxes, the Croton water, or the gas. Up 
 the two flights of stairs walked the gentleman in the 
 pursuit of witchcraft, gave a bashful knock at the 
 door, at the side of which was painted, on a small bit 
 
228 The Witches of New York. 
 
 of pasteboard, " Madame Carzo " repented of his 
 temerity before the echo of the knock had died away, 
 but was admitted into the room before his repentance 
 had time to develop itself into running away. 
 
 A shabby -looking girl, with her hair in as much 
 confusion as if the city had contracted to keep it 
 straight, with one ear-ring in her ear, and the other 
 on the table, with her shoes down at the heel, her 
 dress unhooked behind, and her breast-pin wrong side 
 up, was the model yoijng woman who had answered 
 the knock. She had evidently been engaged in an 
 animated single combat with another young woman, 
 of about the same quality and age, who was seated on 
 a low stool in the corner, for she instantly renewed 
 hostilities by stabbing her antagonist in the arm with 
 a needle, tapping her on the head with a thimble, and 
 kicking her pin-cushion under the table, so she could 
 not recover it without crawling on her hands and 
 knees. 
 
 On a small sofa or lounge at the side of the room 
 was a quantity of what ladies call " work," thrown 
 
Madame Carzo. 229 
 
 down in a great hurry, with the needle yet sticking in 
 it, and the scissors, and the beeswax, and the measur- 
 ing tape, and the bodkin half-concealed inside, as if 
 the knock at the door had startled the needle- woman, 
 and she had flown to parts unknown. It was 
 undoubtedly Madame Carzo herself who had so uncere- 
 moniously deserted her colors and her weapons, and 
 Johannes looked at the needle with veneration, 
 viewed the thimble with respect, and regarded the 
 beeswax and the bodkin with concentrated awe. 
 
 A small cooking-stove was in the side of the room, 
 and immediately over it was a picture of St. Andrew 
 in such a position that he could smell all the dinners ; 
 a number of other pictures of Koman Catholic sub- 
 jects were neatly framed and hanging against the 
 wall. St. Somebody taking his ease on an X-shaped 
 cross, St. Somebody Else comfortably cooking on a 
 gridiron, and St. Somebody, different from either of 
 these, impaled on a spear like a bug in an Entomolo- 
 gical Museum. There was also an atrocious colored 
 print labelled " Millard Fillmore," which, if it at all 
 
230 The Witches of New York. 
 
 resembled that venerated gentleman, must have been 
 taken when he had the measles, complicated with 
 the mumps and toothache, and was attired in a sky- 
 blue coat, a red cravat, yellow vest, and butternut- 
 colored pantaloons. 
 
 The room was neatly furnished with carpet, table, 
 chairs, cheap mirror, and a lounge. While the visitor 
 was taking this observation, the two young ladies 
 before mentioned had continued to spar after a femi- 
 nine fashion, and had finished about three rounds; 
 the model, who had answered the bell, had got the 
 other one, who was black-haired and vicious, under 
 the table, and was following up her advantage by 
 sticking a bodkin into the tender places on her feet 
 and ancles. When the model had at length thoroughly 
 subjugated and subdued the black-haired one, and 
 reduced her to a state of passive misery, she turned to 
 her visitor with an amiable smile, and asked him if 
 he desired to see the Madame. Keceiving an affirma- 
 tive reply, she gave a sly kick to her fallen foe, step- 
 ped on her toes under pretence of moving away a 
 
Madame Carzo. 231 
 
 chair, and then disappeared into another room to 
 inform Madame Carzo that visitors and dollars were 
 awaiting her respectful consideration in the ante- 
 room. 
 
 The "gifted Brazilian astrologist" regarded the 
 suggestion with a favorable eye, for the model soon 
 re-appeared and showed the searcher after hidden 
 knowledge into a bedroom nearly dark, wherein 
 were several dresses hanging on the wall, a bed, two 
 chairs, a table, and Madame Carzo. The light was so 
 arranged as to fall directly in the face of the stranger, 
 while the countenance of the Madame was, to a cer- 
 tain extent, hidden in shadow. 
 
 Johannes, nevertheless, in spite of this disadvan- 
 tage, by careful observation, is enabled to give a 
 tolerably accurate description of Madame Carzo, as 
 follows : She is a tall, comely-looking woman, with 
 unusually large black eyes, clear complexion, dark 
 hair worn d la Jenny Lind, a small hand, clean, and 
 with the nails trimmed, and she has a low sweet 
 voice. Her dress was lady-like, being a neat half- 
 
232 The Witches of New York. 
 
 mourning plaid, with a plain linen collar at the neck, 
 turned smoothly over ; altogether, Madame Carzo, 
 the Brazilian astrologist, who speaks without a 
 symptom of foreign accent, impressed her customer as 
 / being a transplanted Yankee school ma'am, with 
 shrewdness enough to see that while civilization and 
 enlightenment would only pay her twenty dollars a 
 month, and superstition and ignorance would give her 
 twice that sum in a week, she couldn't, of course, 
 afford to live in a civilized and enlightened neighbor- 
 hood, and depend exclusively on civilization and 
 enlightenment for a living. 
 
 And Johannes was smitten, he had found her, and 
 if his fortune was propitious he would yet win and 
 wed the Brazilian astrologist, and she should have 
 the honor of paying his debt, and earning his bread 
 and butter. But he would make no advances yet for 
 fear of accidents ; he would not commit himself until 
 he ha*d called upon the rest of the witches on his list, 
 to see, if perchance, he might not find one more 
 eligible. If not, then by all means Madame Carzo 
 
Madame Carzo. 233 
 
 should be the chosen one. The first thing evi- 
 dently was to ascertain her proficiency in the magic 
 arts. 
 
 The sorceress and the anxious inquirer seated 
 themselves face to face, and the following dialogue 
 ensued : " Do you wish to consult me, Sir ?" " Yes." 
 " My terms are a dollar for gentlemen." 
 The expected dollar was handed over, when the 
 'cute Yarikeeism of the Brazilian lady blazed out 
 brilliantly, for she instantly produced a " Thompson's 
 Bank-note Detector " from under a pillow, and a one 
 dollar note, issued by the President and Directors of 
 the " Quinnipiack Bank " of Connecticut, underwent 
 a severe scrutiny. At last the genuineness of the bill 
 and the solvency of the bank were certified to the 
 Madame's satisfaction, in his oracular pamphlet, 
 by Thompson with a " p," and Madame Carzo was 
 evidently satisfied that her customer didn't mean to 
 swindle her, but was good for small debts not exceed- 
 ing one dollar each. Accordingly she took his left 
 hand, regarded it for some time, apparently delighted 
 
234 Tke Witches of New York. 
 
 with its model symmetry, but at last so far conquered 
 her silent admiration as to speak and say : 
 
 -" You were born under two planets, Moon and 
 Mars, Moon brings you a great deal of trouble in the 
 early part of your life. Moon has occasioned a great 
 deal of anxiety to your parents on your account. 
 Moon made you liable to accidents and misfortunes 
 while you was a boy, and Moon will give you great 
 trouble until you arrive at middle age. You were 
 born, I should say, across the water, and you will die 
 across the water in a city, but not a great city. You 
 are, I should say, now far away from that city, and 
 from your home, and parents, and friends, who are, I 
 should say, all now far across the water. You will 
 be sure, however, I should say, for to see them all 
 before you die, and to die in the city that I told you 
 of. Your line of life runs to 60 ; you will, I should 
 say, live to be 60, but not much after. Moon will 
 cause you much trouble for many years, but you will 
 be certain for to succeed well in the end, I should 
 say. You will be certain for to have final success 
 
Madame Carzo. 235 
 
 and to conquer every obstacle, in spite of Moon, I 
 should say." 
 
 Incensed as was Johannes at Moon for thus unjus- 
 tifiably interfering with his prospects and meddling 
 with his private affairs, he still admired the more the 
 profitable science of the wonderful lady whose 
 acquirements in magic had given her so intimate an 
 acquaintance with Moon, as to enable her to tell so 
 exactly the plans and intentions of that unruly and 
 adverse planet. 
 
 He mastered his indignation and listened attentively 
 to the sequel. 
 
 On the small stand were two packs of cards of 
 different sizes, and a volume of Byron. Madame 
 Carzo took up one pack of the cards, presented them 
 to the young man, waited for them to be cut three 
 times, after which she said : 
 
 " You face up a good fortune I should say, you 
 have had trouble but can now, I should say, see the 
 end of it you face up money, which is coming to you 
 from over the water, I should say, and you will be 
 
236 The Witches of New York. 
 
 sure for to get it before a great while. You will 
 never have much money from relations or friends, 
 though you will, I should say, perhaps have some 
 but though you will handle a great deal of money in 
 your lifetime you will make the most of it yourself, 
 I should say you will not, however, I should say, 
 ever be able for to become very rich, for you will 
 never be able for to keep money, although you will 
 have the handling of a great deal in your life. No, I 
 
 am certain that you will never be rich." 
 
 QI 
 
 Here Johannes remembered the malicious influence 
 of Moon upon his fortunes, and as he clinched his 
 fists, felt as if he would like to get at the man who 
 resides in that ill-conditioned planet, and have a back- 
 hold wrestle with him on stony ground. 
 
 But the astrologist continued thus : " You face up 
 a letter ; you also face up good news which is to come 
 speedily I should say ; you don't face up a sick bed, 
 or a coffin, or a funeral, or any kind of immediate bad 
 luck that I am able to see. You face up two men, 
 one dark and one light complexioned. You must 
 
Madame Carzo. 237 
 
 beware of the dark-complexioned man, for I should say 
 he will do you an injury if you allow him for to have 
 a chance. You like to study : the kind of business 
 you would do best in is doctor. You face up a liglit- 
 complexioned lady ; you will, I should say, be able 
 to marry this lady, though a dark-complexioned man 
 stands in the way. You must, I should say, be par- 
 ticularly careful to beware of the dark-complexioned 
 man. You will be married twice; your first wife 
 will die, but your last wife, I should say, will be 
 likely for to outlive you. You will have three 
 children, which will be all, I should say, that you will 
 be likely for to have." 
 
 And this was all for the present, except that she 
 told her visitor that he might draw thirteen cards, 
 and make a wish, which he did, and she, on carefully 
 examining the cards, told him that he would certainly 
 have his wish. 
 
 Cheered by this last grateful promise, and bidding 
 a mental defiance to Moon, the traveller left the room. 
 In the reception chamber he found the model and the 
 
238 The Witches of New York. 
 
 black-eyed one just coming to time for what lie should 
 judge was the twenty-seventh round, both much 
 damaged in the hair, but plucky to the last. 
 
 Johannes walked briskly away, feeling that his 
 matrimonial prospects were brighter now than for 
 many a day, and fully determined that if, on going 
 further he fared worse, he would certainly retrace his 
 steps and wed Madame Carzo off-hand. 
 
CHAPTER XI. 
 
 In tfhich is set down the prophecy of Madame Leander 
 
 Lent, of No. 163 Mulberry Street; and how she 
 
 promised her Customer numerous Wives 
 
 and Children. 
 
CHAPTER XL 
 
 MADAME LEANDER LENT, No. 163 MULBERRY 
 STREET. 
 
 I HAYE before suggested, in as plain terms as the 
 peculiar nature of the subject will allow, that these 
 fortune-telling women, having most of them been 
 prostitutes in their younger days, in their withered 
 age become professional procuresses, and make a 
 trade of the betrayal of innocence into the power 
 of Lust and Lechery. This assertion is so eminently 
 probable that few will be inclined to dispute it, 
 but I wish to be understood that this is no matter 
 of mere surmise with me it is a proven fact. And 
 the evidences of its truth have been gathered, not 
 alone from the formal and hurried records of the 
 police courts, but from the lips of certain inmates 
 
 of various Magdalen Asylums who have been 
 
 11 
 
242 The Witches of New York. 
 
 reclaimed from their former homes of shame ; and from 
 the mouths of other repentant women, who, under cir- 
 cumstances where there was no object to deceive, and 
 at times when their hearts were full of grateful love 
 for those who had interposed to save them from utter 
 despair, have in all simple truthfulness and honor, 
 related their life-histories. It is impossible to give 
 even a plausible guess at the aggregate number 
 of young women, in this great city, who compro- 
 mise their honorable reputations in the course of a 
 single year ; but of those whose shame becomes pub- 
 licly known, and especially of those who eventually 
 enter houses of ill-repute, the percentage whose fall 
 was accomplished through the instrumentality, more 
 or less direct, of the professional fortune-tellers, is 
 astounding. And a curious fact connected with this 
 subject is, that of these unfortunates who thus wander 
 astray, not one in ten but has ever after the most 
 superstitious and implicit faith in the supernatural 
 powers of the witch. Each one sees in her own case 
 certain things that have been foretold to her by the 
 
Madame Leander Lent. 243 
 
 fortune-teller with such, circumstantiality of time 
 and place, and which have afterward? "come to 
 pass," so exactly in accordance with the prophecy, 
 that she can only account for it by ascribing super- 
 natural prescience to the prophetess. 
 
 The true solution of the matter is, of course, that 
 the wonderful fulfilments are achieved by means of 
 confederacy and collusion with parties with whom the 
 dupe is never brought in contact ; a common modus 
 operandi of this sort is elsewhere described. 
 
 Nor are the fortune-tellers and the brothel- 
 keepers by any means content with playing into each 
 other's hands in a general sort of way ; there are, in 
 New York, several firms, consisting each of a fortune- 
 teller and a mistress of a bawdy-hoxise, who have 
 entered into a perfectly organized business partner- 
 ship, and who ply their fearful trade with as much 
 zeal and enthusiasm as is ever exhibited in the active 
 competition between rival commercial houses engaged 
 in legitimate trade. 
 
 Although this fact is one that cannot be substan- 
 
244 The Witches of New York. 
 
 tiated by the production of any sworn documents, it 
 is as well proven by the observations of keen-eyed 
 detectives attached to the police department, and to 
 some of the charitable institutions of this city, as though 
 attested articles of co-partnership could be exhibited 
 with the signatures of the contracting parties attached 
 thereto. A gentleman of this city, in whose word I 
 have the most perfect confidence, tells me that he 
 once, by a curious accident, overheard a business con- 
 sultation between the two members of such a firm ; 
 and that such partnerships do exist, and that by their 
 means hundreds of ignorant young women, of the 
 lower classes, are every year betrayed to their moral 
 ruin, I no more doubt than I doubt the rotundity of 
 the earth. 
 
 If the illustrious woman who is the subject of the 
 present chapter should ever surmise that the foregoing 
 observations are intended to have a personal applica- 
 tion to herself, the author will give her much more 
 credit for sagacity and discernment than he did for 
 supernatural wisdom. 
 
Madame Leander Lent. 245 
 
 Madame Leander Lent is one of the most shrewd, 
 unscrupulous, and dirty of all the goodly sisterhood 
 of New York witches. She has so great a run of 
 customers that her doors are often besieged by 
 anxious inquirers as early as eight o'clock in the 
 morning, and the servant is frequently puzzled to find 
 room and chairs to accommodate the shame-faced 
 throng, till her ladyship sees fit to get out of bed and 
 begin the labors of the day. She is then impartial 
 in the distribution of her favors ; the audiences are 
 governed by barber-shop rules, and the visitors are 
 admitted to the presence in the order of their coming, 
 and any one going out forfeits his or her " turn " and 
 on returning must take position at the tail end of the 
 queue. 
 
 The Fates show no favoritism. 
 
 The quarter in which Madame Lent has domiciled 
 herself and her familiars, is by no means in the most 
 aristocratic part of the city. "Mulberry," is the 
 pomological name of the street, and it has never been 
 celebrated for its cleanliness or for its eligibility as a 
 
246 The Witches of New York. 
 
 site for princely mansions. In fact it has been, on the 
 whole, rather neglected by that class of society who 
 generally indulge in palatial luxuries. 
 
 Hercules, in his capacity of an amateur scavenger, 
 once attempted the cleaning of the Augean stables, or 
 some such trifle, and his success was trumpeted 
 throughout the neighborhood as a triumph of inge- 
 nuity and perseverance. If Hercules would come to 
 Gotham and try his hand at the purgation of Mul- 
 berry Street, our word for it, he would, in less than a 
 week, knock out his brains with his own club in utter 
 despair. 
 
 There never yet were swine with stomachs strong 
 enough to feed upon the garbage of its gutters, 
 or with instincts so perverted as to wallow in its filth. 
 Dogs, lean and wild-eyed, the outcasts of the canine 
 world, sometimes, driven by sore stress of hunger, 
 sneak here with drooping tails and shame-faced looks, 
 to search for bones, and then, wounded in their self- 
 respect by the very act, they drag their osseous pro- 
 vender to a distance, and upon some sunny mud-heap, 
 
Madame Leander Lent. 247 
 
 dine in dainty neatness. The very pavement is 
 broken into countless hillocks and ruts like waves, as 
 if, in utter disgust at the place and its associations, 
 the street was trying to roll itself away in stony bil- 
 lows. The shattered wrecks of worn-out drays and 
 carts stand forsaken in the street, keeping each other 
 dismal company, while an occasional shackly wheel- 
 barrow makes the place look as though, after some 
 monstrous fashion, it were a lying-in hospital for 
 poverty-stricken vehicles, and the wheelbarrows were 
 the new-born children, decrepit even in their baby- 
 hood. The houses in this pleasant vale have a dis- 
 heartened tumble-down look, and give the impression 
 of having been originally built by apprentices out of 
 second-hand material. They lean maliciously over 
 the narrow sidewalks, and keep up a constant 
 threatening of a sudden collapse and a general smash 
 of passers-by. If the houses are not dirtier than the 
 street, it is only because every possible element of filth 
 enters into the latter ; if they are not dirtier inside than 
 outside, it is because superlatives have no superlative. 
 
248 The Witches of New York. 
 
 Pawnbrokers' shops are plentiful, kept always by 
 sharp-featured restless Jews, who watch for unwary 
 passers-by like unclean beasts crouching in noisome, 
 dangerous lairs; while bar-rooms yawn in frequent 
 cellars to devour bodily the victims the Jews only rob. 
 
 In this, one of the dirtiest streets in this dirty 
 metropolis, directly opposite the English Lutheran 
 Church of St. James, in one of the dirtiest tenant- 
 houses in the street, abideth Madame Leander Lent, 
 the prophetess. Why the mysterious powers didn't 
 select an earthly representative with a more reputa- 
 ble dwelling-place is a mystery ; but there seems to 
 be an inseparable congeniality between prophetic 
 knowledge and concentrated nastiness, utterly beyond 
 all power of explanation. The Madame advises the 
 public of her business in the terms following : 
 
 " ASTROLOGY. Madame LEANDER LENT can be consulted about 
 love, marriage, and absent friends ; she tells all the events of life 
 at No. 169 Mulberry-st., first floor, back room. Ladies 25 
 cents ; gents 50 cents. She causes speedy marriage. Charge 
 extra." 
 
Madame Leander Lent. 249 
 
 Her customers are much more addicted to love 
 than marriage, so that the wedlock clause cannot 
 be relied on to bring many fish to the net, but it is 
 supposed to give an air of respectability to the ad- 
 vertisement. 
 
 The Cash Customer was, perhaps, an exception to 
 this general rule, and feeling that he would on the 
 whole rather like a " speedy marriage," and wouldn't 
 so much mind the " extra charge," he went, in cold 
 blood, with this matrimonial intent to the street, found 
 the number, and heroically entered the house in the 
 very face of a threatened unclean baptism from the 
 upper windows. 
 
 His timid knock at the door of the room was 
 answered by a sturdy "Come in," from the inside; 
 hat defe entially in hand he modestly entered, and 
 was received by a fat woman with a bust of propor- 
 tions exceeding those of Mrs. Merdle in "Little 
 Dorrit," and who was attired in a dress which may 
 have b^n clean in the earlier years of its history, 
 
 though the supposition is exceedingly apocryphal. 
 
 11* 
 
250 The Witches of New York. 
 
 This lady pointed to a chair, and then composedly 
 seated herself and resumed her explorations with a 
 comb, in the hair of a vicious boy of about three 
 years old, the eldest scion of Madame Leander. 
 
 Her enthusiasm in the cause of entomological 
 science was too ardent to be quenched by the mere 
 presence of an observer, and she continued to hunt 
 her insect prey with all the ardor of a she-Nimrod, 
 and with a zeal that was rewarded by a brilliant suc- 
 cess. The youth, over whose fertile head the game 
 seemed to rove and range in countless numbers, was 
 somewhat restless under the operation, and oftentimes 
 disturbed the eager sportswoman by manifesting a 
 desire to run into the street and carry the hunting- 
 ground with him, and was as often recalled to a sense 
 of the proprieties by a few judicious slaps, which he 
 stoically endured without a whimper, being evidently 
 used to it. 
 
 This feminine lover of the chase, this Diana of the 
 fiery scalp, looked up from her occupations long 
 enough to say to her visitor that Madame Lent would 
 
Madame Leander Lent. 251 
 
 soon be disengaged. Meantime, he made a careful 
 survey of the premises. 
 
 Two chairs, an old lounge with its dingy red cover 
 fastened on with pins, and a trunk covered with an 
 old bit of carpet, were the accommodations for seat- 
 ing visitors. A cooking-stove, and a suspicious-look- 
 ing wash-bowl which stood in the corner of the room, 
 without a pitcher, were probably for the accommoda- 
 tion of the Madame and the lady with the comb. 
 On the shabby lounge sat a stolid-looking Irish girl, 
 who was waiting her turn to have her fortune told. 
 Having fully comprehended the room and everything 
 in it, the visitor turned his attention to literary pur- 
 suits, and thoroughly perused an odd copy of a news- 
 paper that lay invitingly on the table. 
 
 Visitors kept dropping in, mostly servant-appearing 
 girls, though there were three women attired in silk 
 and laces, who would have appeared respectable had 
 their faces been hidden and their conversation been 
 suppressed. The lady with the comb and the boy 
 presently departed to some unknown region, and 
 
252 The Witches of New York. 
 
 soon returned with a reinforcement of chairs and 
 stools. The number of visitors increased, until, 
 besides the original stranger, nine were waiting. 
 Among others, there came, in a friendly way, but 
 still with a sharp eye to business, a tall woman, 
 attired in a red dress and a purple bonnet, who is the 
 keeper of a well-known house in Sullivan street, and 
 whose name is not strange to the police. An unre- 
 strained business conversation ensued between her 
 and the heroine of the comb, which must have been 
 interesting to the female listeners. 
 
 One hour and eleven minutes did the Cash Cus- 
 tomer patiently wait before he was admitted to the 
 mysterious conference with the queen of magic. At 
 last, after the man who was at first closeted with her 
 had concluded his inquiries, and the stolid Irish girl 
 had been disposed of, the woman with the suggestive 
 bust beckoned the long-suffering and patient man to 
 follow, and he fearfully entered the sanctum. 
 
 The room of conjuration was a closet, dark and 
 dirty, and was lighted by one tallow candle, stuck in 
 
Madame Leander Lent. 253 
 
 a Scotch ale bottle. A number of shabby dresses, 
 bony petticoats, and other mysterious articles of 
 women's gear, hung upon the walls; two weak- 
 kneed chairs, a tattered bit of carpet upon about two 
 feet square of the floor, and a little table covered with 
 a greasy oilcloth, composed the furniture of the 
 mystic cell. The cabalistic paraphernalia was limit- 
 ed, there being nothing but a dirty pack of double- 
 headed cards, a small pasteboard box with some 
 scraps of paper in it, and two kinds of powder in 
 little bottles, like hair-oil pots. 
 
 Madame Lent is a woman of medium height, about 
 thirty -five years of age, with light-grey eyes, false 
 teeth, a head nearly bald, and hair, what there is of 
 it, of a bright red. Her manner is hurried and con- 
 fused, and she has a trick of drawing her upper lip 
 disagreeably up under the end of her nose, which 
 labial distortion she doubtless intends for a smile. 
 
 She was robed in a bright-colored plaid dress, a 
 dirty lace collar, and a coarse woollen shawl over her 
 shoulders. Motioning her visitor to one chair, she 
 
254 The Witches of New York. 
 
 instantly seated herself in the other, and, without 
 demanding pay in advance, commenced operations. 
 She handed the cards to be cut, and then laying them 
 out in their piles, uttered the following sentences : 
 
 "I see that your fortune has been and is quite a 
 curious one. Your cards run rather mixed up, you 
 have been very much worried in your head, you were 
 born under two planets, which means that you have 
 seen a great deal of trouble in your younger days, 
 but you are now getting over it and your cards run 
 to better luck, but it is rather mixed up, your cards 
 run to a lady, she is light-haired and blue-eyed, but 
 she is jealous of you, for sometimes you treat her 
 more kinder and sometimes more harsher, and just 
 now she is in trouble and very much mixed up about 
 you. There is a man of black hair and eyes, a dark- 
 complected man who pretends to be your friend and 
 is very fair to your face, but you must beware of him, 
 for he is your secret enemy and will do you an injury 
 if he can ; he is trying to get the lady, but I don't 
 think he'll do it, though I don't know, for the thing 
 
Madame Leander Lent. 255 
 
 is so much mixed up he has deceived you, and the 
 lady has deceived you, they have both deceived you, 
 but now they have got mixed up, and she turns from 
 him with scorn, and seems to like you the best I 
 don't exactly see how it all is, for it seems rather 
 mixed up like you must persevere, you must coax 
 her more ; you can coax her to do anything, but you 
 can't drive her any more than you can drive that wall 
 always treat her more kinder and never more 
 harsher, and she will soon be yours entirely beware / 
 of the dark-complected man ; you must not talk so 
 much and be so open in your mind, and above all 
 don't talk so much to the dark-complected man, for 
 he seems to worry you, and your affairs and his are 
 all mixed up like." 
 
 Here her auditor expressed a desire to know some- 
 thing definite and certain about his future wife, 
 whereupon the red-haired prophetess shuffled the 
 cards again with the following result : 
 
 " You will have but one more wife. She will be 
 good and true, and will not be mixed up with any 
 
256 The Witches of New York. 
 
 dark-complected man. She will be rich and you will 
 be rich, for your business cards run very smooth, but 
 your marriage cards do not run very close to you, 
 and you will not be married for six or eight months ; 
 you will have three children ; you will see your future 
 wife within nine hours, nine days, or nine weeks ; do 
 not blame me if it runs into the tens, but I tell you 
 it will fall within the nines. Another man is trying 
 to get her away from you, he is a light- complected 
 man, he has had some influence over her, but she 
 now turns from him with disdain, and she will be 
 yours and yours only things are a little worried and 
 mixed up now, but she will be yours and yours only, 
 the light-complected man can't hurt you. I have 
 something that I can give you that will make her 
 love you tender and true ; it will force her to do it 
 and she won't have no power to help herself, but you 
 can do with her just what you please ; I charge extra 
 for that." 
 
 Here was a chance to procure a love-philtre at a 
 reasonable rate, and unless the dark woman kept that 
 
Madame Leander Lent. 257 
 
 article ready made and done up in packages to suit 
 customers, he could observe the terrible ceremonies 
 with which it was .prepared, listen to the spells and 
 incantations with an attent eye, and take mental notes 
 of all the mighty magic. The opportunity was too 
 good to be lost, and he at once signified his desire to 
 try a little of the extra witchcraft, and his willingness 
 to draw on his purse for the requisite amount of 
 ready cash to purchase this gratification of a laudable 
 curiosity. 
 
 Madame Lent now assumed an air of the most 
 intense gravity, and shook into a very dirty bit of 
 paper a little white powder from one of the pomatum 
 pots, and a corresponding quantity of grayish powder 
 from pot No. 2, and stirred them carefully together 
 with the tip of her finger. When she had mixed 
 them to her liking she folded the diabolical com- 
 pound in a small paper. Then she prepared another 
 mixture in the same manner, and made a pretence of 
 adding another ingredient from a little pasteboard 
 box, Vhich probably hadn't had anything in it for a 
 
258 The Witches of New York. 
 
 month. Folding this also in a paper she presented 
 them both to her interested guest, with these direc- 
 tions : . 
 
 " You must shake some of the first powder on your 
 true-love's head, or neck, or arms, if you can, but if 
 you can't manage this, put it on her dress the other 
 powder you must sprinkle about your room when 
 you go to bed to-night this will draw her to you, and 
 she will love you and you alone and can't help herself; 
 this will surely operate, if it don't, come and tell me." 
 
 One more cabalistic performance and the hocus- 
 pocus was ended. She desired her customer to give 
 her the first letter of his true love's name. He, un- 
 abashed by the unexpected demand, with great pre- 
 sence of mind promptly invented a sweetheart on the 
 spot, and extemporized a name for her before the 
 question was repeated. Then the mysterious Madame 
 required his own initial, which, being obtained, she 
 wrote the two on slips of paper with some mystic 
 figures appended, in manner following. E., 17 ; M., 
 24. Then she shiveringly whispered : ** 
 
Madame Leander Lent. 259 
 
 "You must do as I told you with the powders 
 before eleven o'clock to-night, for between the hours 
 of eleven and twelve I shall boil your name and hers 
 in herbs which will draw her to you, and she can't 
 help herself but will be tender and true, and will be 
 yours and yours only. When she is drawed to you 
 then you must marry her." 
 
 The anxious inquirer promised obedience, and 
 agreed to give the powders as per prescription, before 
 the midnight cookery should commence, paid his dol- 
 lar (fifty cents for the consultation and a like sum for 
 the love-powders), and made his exit with a compre- 
 hensive bow, which included the Madame, the bony 
 petticoats, the beer-bottle, and the fast-vanishing re- 
 mains of the single tallow-candle in one reverential 
 farewell. 
 
CHAPTER XII 
 
 Wherein are inscribed all the particulars of a ' visit to the 
 
 " Gipsy Girl," of No. 207, Third Avenue, 
 
 with an allusion to Gin, and other luxuries 
 
 dear to the heart of that beautiful 
 
 Rover. 
 
CHAPTER XII. 
 
 THE GIPSY GIRL. 
 
 THERE is much, less affectation of high-flown and 
 lofty-sounding names among the ladies of the black- 
 art mysteries, than might very naturally be expected. 
 Most of them are content with plain "Madame" 
 Smith, or unadorned " Mrs." Jones, and " The Gipsy 
 Girl " is almost the only exception to this rule that is 
 to be encountered among all the fortune-tellers of the 
 city. 
 
 This arises from no poverty of invention on their 
 part, but from a sound conviction that in this case, 
 simplicity is an element of sound policy. There has 
 been no lack of "mysteriously gifted prophetesses," 
 and of " astonishing star readers ;" there have been, I 
 believe, within the last few years, a "Daughter of 
 
264 The Witches of New York. 
 
 Saturn," and a " Sorceress of the Silver Girdle ;" and 
 once the " Queen of the Seven Mysteries " conde- 
 scended to sojourn in Gotham for five weeks, but on 
 the whole it has been found that a more modest title 
 pays better. To be sure, the " Daughter of Saturn " 
 was tried for conspiring with two other persons to 
 swindle an old and wealthy gentleman out of seven- 
 teen hundred dollars, and the " Queen of the Seven 
 Mysteries " was dispossessed by a constable for non- 
 payment of rent ; and these untoward circumstances 
 may have acted as a "modest quencher " on the then 
 growing disposition to indulge in fantastic and roman- 
 tic appellations. 
 
 At this present time " The Gipsy Girl " enjoys 
 almost a monopoly of this sort of thing, and she is by 
 no means constant to one name, but sometimes 
 announces herself as " The Gipsy "Woman," " The 
 Gipsj Palmist," and "The Gipsy Wonder," as her 
 whim changes. 
 
 This woman has not been in New York years 
 enough to become complicated in as many rascalities 
 
The Gipsy Girl. 265 
 
 as some of her elder sisters in the mystic arts, but her 
 surroundings are of a nature to indicate that she has 
 not been backward in her American education on these 
 points. She has not been remarkably successful in 
 making money, as a witch ; not having been educated 
 among the strumpets and gamblers of the city she 
 lacked that extensive acquaintance on going into busi- 
 ness, that had secured for her rivals in trade such 
 immediate success. Her fondness for gin has also 
 proved a serious bar to her rapid advancement, and 
 has given not a few of her customers the idea that she 
 is not so eminently trustworthy as one having the 
 control of the destinies of others should be. In fact, 
 she loves her enemy, the bottle, to that extent, that 
 she has many times permitted her devotion to it to 
 interfere seriously with her business, leading her to 
 disappoint customers. The quality of her sober pre- 
 dictions is about the same as that of others in the 
 same profession, but her intoxicated foretellings are 
 deserving of a chapter to themselves, and they shall 
 
 have it, for from force of peculiar circumstances, which 
 
 12 
 
266 The Witches of New York. 
 
 will be explained Hereafter, the Cash Customer made 
 three visits to this celebrated woman. Her first 
 address was 207 3d Avenue, between Eighteenth and 
 Nineteenth Streets. 
 
 The Gipsy Girl ! How romantically suggestive was 
 this feminine phrase to the fancy of an enthusiastic re- 
 porter. Was it then, indeed, permitted that he should 
 know Meg Merrilees in private life ? His heart danced 
 at the poetic possibility, and his heels would have ex- 
 temporized a vigorous hornpipe but that his saltatory 
 ardor was quenched by the depressing sturdiness of 
 cow-hide boots. "With the most pleasing anticipations 
 he perused the subjoined advertisement again and 
 again, and looked to the happy future with a joyful hope. 
 
 " A Wonder The Gipsy Girl. If you wish to know all the 
 secrets of your past and future life, the knowledge of which 
 may save you years of sorrow and care, don't fail to consult the 
 above-named palmist. Charge 50 cents. The Gipsy has also 
 on hand a secret which will enable any lady or gentleman to 
 win or obtain the affections of the opposite sex. Charge extra. 
 No. 207 3d av., between 18th and 19th sts." 
 
 
The Gipsy Girl. 267 
 
 How the knowledge of all the secrets of his past 
 life was to save him years of sorrow and care at this 
 late day he could not exactly comprehend, and was 
 willing to pay fifty cents for the information. And 
 then wasn't it worth half a dollar to see a live gipsy ? 
 Of course it was. 
 
 Kettles, camp-fires, white tents under green trees, 
 indigenous brown babies and exotic white ones, with 
 a panorama of empty cradles and mourning mothers 
 in the distance, moonlight nights, midnight foraging 
 excursions, expeditions against impertinent game- 
 keepers, demonstrations against hen-roosts successful 
 by masterly generalship and pure strategic science 
 and the midnight forest cookery of contraband game, 
 surreptitious pigs and clandestine chickens were 
 among the romantic ideas of a delightful vagabond 
 gipsy life that at once suggested themselves to the 
 mind of the Cash Customer. He did not really expect 
 to find the Third- Avenue gipsy camped out under a 
 bed-quilt tent in the lee of the house, or cooking her 
 dinner in an iron pot over an out-door fire in the 
 
268 The Witches of New York. 
 
 back yard, but lie had a vague undefined hope that 
 there would be some visible indications of gipsy life, 
 if it was nothing more than the pawn-tickets for 
 stolen spoons. 
 
 He thought to find at least one or two beautiful 
 babies knocking about, decorated with coral neck- 
 laces and golden clasps, suggestive of rich parents 
 and better days, and had firmly resolved to send the 
 little innocents to the alms-house by way of improv- 
 ing their condition. Full of these romantic notions, 
 the reporter started on his philanthropic mission, 
 taking the preliminary precaution of leaving at home 
 his watch and pocket-book, and carrying with him 
 only small change enough to pay the advertised 
 charges. 
 
 In one of those three-story brick houses so abound- 
 ing in this city, which seem to have been built by the 
 mile and cut off in slices to suit purchasers, in the 
 Third Avenue above Eighteenth Street, dwelt at that 
 time the gay Bohemian. The building in which she 
 lived, though three stories in height, is very short 
 
The Gipsy Girl. 269 
 
 between joints, which style of architecture makes all 
 the rooms low and squat, as if somebody had shut the 
 house into itself like a telescope, and had never pulled 
 it out again. 
 
 Out of the chimney, which was the little end of the 
 telescope, issued a sickly smoke ; and through a door 
 in the lower story, which was the big end thereof, 
 was the stranger admitted by a little girl. This girl 
 was, probably, a pure article of gipsy herself origin- 
 ally, but had been so much adulterated by partial 
 civilization that she combed her hair daily and sub- 
 mitted to shoes and stockings without a murmur. 
 Kagged indeed was this reclaimed wanderer ; saucy 
 and dirty-faced was this sprouting young maiden, but 
 she was sharp-witted, and scented money as quickly 
 as if she had been the oldest hag of her tribe ; so she 
 asked her customer to walk up stairs, which he did. 
 She herself went up stairs with a skip and a whirl, 
 showed her visitor into the grand reception room 
 with a gyrating flourish, and disappeared in a " cour- 
 tesy" of so many complex and dizzy rotations that 
 
270 The Witches of New York. 
 
 she seemed to the eyes of the bewildered traveller to 
 evaporate in a red flannel mist. As soon as she had 
 spun herself out of sight he recovered his presence of 
 mind and looked about him. 
 
 The romantic gipsy who sojourned here had tried 
 to furnish her rooms like civilized people, doubtless 
 out of respect to her many patrons. A thread-bare 
 carpet was under foot; a little parlor stove with a 
 little fire in it was standing on a little piece of zinc, 
 and did its little utmost to heat the room ; an uncom- 
 fortable looking sofa covered with shabby and faded 
 red damask graced one side of the apartment, and a 
 lounge, of curtailed dimensions, partially covered 
 with shreds of turkey red calico, adorned another 
 side. 
 
 This latter article of furniture, with its tattered 
 cover, through which suspicious bits of curled hair 
 peeped out, and wide crevices in its rickety frame 
 were plainly visible, looked much too suggestive of 
 cockroaches and other insect delicacies of the season 
 to be an inviting place of repose. 
 
The Gipsy Girl. 271 
 
 Three chairs were dispersed throughout the room, 
 on one of which the reporter bestowed himself, and 
 the rest of the furniture consisted of a table, so 
 exceedingly shaky and sensitive in the joints that 
 it might have been the grim skeleton of some former 
 table, loosely hung together with unseen wires ; and 
 a cheap looking-glass that had suffered so serious a 
 comminuted fracture as to be past all surgery this 
 was all except some little plaster images of saints, 
 strangers to the Cash Customer, and a black rosary, 
 which article would seem to show that efforts had 
 been put forth to Christianize this nut-brown gipsy 
 maid. 
 
 A clinking of glasses was heard in the adjoining 
 apartment, then the door was opened with an inde- 
 pendent flirt, and the gay Bohemian appeared on the 
 scene. 
 
 If it were desired to fancy visions of enchanting 
 loveliness it would be necessary to insert therein other 
 ingredients than the gipsy girl of the Third Avenue ; 
 alone she would be insufficient ; too much would be 
 
272 The Witches of New York. 
 
 left to tne imagination ; and in any event the illusion 
 would be too great to last long. 
 
 She is of medium height, her eyes are brown and 
 bright, and her hands are very large and red. She 
 has no hair, but wears a scratch red wig, which gives 
 her head a utilitarian character. Her face is deeply 
 pitted with the small-pox, more than pitted gullied, 
 scarred, and seamed, as though some jealous rival 
 had been trying to plough her complexion under; 
 little short light hairs are thinly scattered on her 
 cheek bones and upper lip, and in the shadows of 
 the little ridges that disease had left, irresistibly com- 
 pelling the mind to make an absurd comparison of 
 her face with a sterile field, and imagine that at some 
 past day it had been spaded up to plant a beard, 
 which had only grown in scanty patches, here and 
 there. Her nails were horny and ill-shaped, and 
 underneath them and at their roots were large de- 
 posits of dirt and other fertilizing compounds, under 
 the stimulating influence of which they had grown 
 lank and long. Her attire was a sort of cross between 
 
The Gipsy Girl. 273 
 
 the picturesque wildness of the gipsy, and the more 
 civilized and unbecoming dress of Third Avenue 
 Christians. 
 
 She was apparelled, principally, in a red flannel 
 jacket, and a check handkerchief, which was passed 
 under her chin and tied on the top of her wig, where 
 the knot looked like a blue butterfly. There was a 
 gown, but a series of subsoiling experiments would 
 have been necessary to determine the material and 
 texture ; the surface was palpably dirt. Accompany- 
 ing her there was a strong smeUiof gin, and from the 
 odor of the liquor the visitor judged that it was a 
 very poor article. 
 
 This gay old gipsy drew a chair to the table, and 
 sat down, not in a graceful and composed manner, 
 but more as if she had been dumped from a cart. 
 She soon partially recovered herself, and straightened 
 up slightly from the heap into which she had col- 
 lapsed, and, turning her head away from her customer, 
 she elaborately remarked : " Fifty cents and your left 
 'and." 
 
274 The Witches of New York. 
 
 The Individual made a careful search for his small 
 change, and fished out the exact amount which he 
 promptly paid over. 
 
 This delightful gipsy then took his left hand and 
 looked at it for a minute in an imbecile kind of way, 
 as if she didn't know exactly what to do with it, and 
 was undecided whether it was to be made into soup, 
 or she was to drink it immediately with warm water 
 and a little sugar. This last impression evidently 
 prevailed, for she tried to pour it into her apron, and 
 only recovered fron*her delusion when the fingers 
 tangled themselves up in the strings. Then a glim- 
 mering of the true state of the case seemed to dawn 
 upon her, and she began to have a dim idea that she 
 was expected to say something. 
 
 Now the roving gipsy was not by any means in- 
 toxicated at this time ; that is to say, she may have 
 been partaking of gin, or gin and water, or may have 
 been sucking su'gar that had gin on it, or she may 
 have been taking a little gin and peppermint for a 
 stomach-ache, or she may have been bathing her 
 
The Gipsy Girl. 275 
 
 head in gin, or have been otherwise making use 
 of that potent remedy as a medicine, but she was by 
 no means a subject for official interference in case she 
 had wandered into the street, but she was, to tell the 
 truth, not in her most clear-headed condition ; although 
 probably she did not see more than one Cash Customer 
 sitting solemnly before her, still that one was quite as 
 many as she could well manage at that time. 
 
 After the signal failure of her little demonstration 
 on the hand of her guest, she, by a strong effort, 
 seemed to concentrate her faculties, and after several 
 trials she roused herself and spoke as follows, empha- 
 sizing the short words with spiteful vindictiveness, 
 and paying the most particular attention to the im- 
 proper aspiration of the h's. 
 
 " You are a person as has seen a great deal ofdif " 
 The gay Bohemian here evidently desired to say 
 " difficulty," but the word was a sad stumbling-block, 
 a four-syllable rock ahead which was too much for 
 her powers in her then exhausted state of mind ; she 
 charged on the unfortunate word boldly, however, 
 
276 The Witches of New York. 
 
 and tried to carry it by storm, but each time was 
 repulsed with great loss of breath " a great deal of 
 dif dif dif diffle" it was no use, so she tried back 
 and began again. 
 
 "You are a man as has seen a great deal of difflecu- 
 lency" was what she said, but it didn't seem to satisfy 
 her, so she tried again, and after a number of trials she 
 hit a happy medium between "dif" and " diffleculency" 
 and compromised on " difflety" which useful addition 
 to the language she took occasion to repeat as often as 
 possible with an air of decided triumph. 
 
 " You are a man as has seen a great deal of difflety 
 and trouble I would not go to say you 'ave been 
 through too much difflety and trouble, still you 'ave 
 seen difflety and trouble. If you had been a luckier 
 man in your past life you would not 'ave seen so much 
 difflety and trouble, still you ''ave seen difflety and 
 trouble I 'ope you will not see so much difflety and 
 trouble in the future Life : you will live long ; you 
 will live to be 69 years of hage and ivill die of a linger- 
 ing disease you will be sick for a long time, and will 
 
The Gipsy Girl. 277 
 
 not suffer much difflety and trouble sixty-nine years 
 of Jiage you will live to be Death : don't think of 
 death ; that is too far hoff a you to think of but you 
 will die when you are 69 years of hage, and you may 
 'ope to go right hup to 'eaven, for you will 'ave no 
 more difflety and trouble then Money : you will 'ave 
 money, and you will 'ave plenty of money, but you 
 must not look for money until you 'ave reached your 
 middle hage a distant Hinglish relative of yours will 
 leave you money, but you will 'ave difflety and trouble 
 in getting it ; do not hexpect to get this money without 
 difflety, no do not cherish such a 'ope hit will be in the 
 7 ands of a man who wont hanswer your letters nor take 
 notice of your happlications, you will 'ave to cross the 
 hocean yourself; this money will be a good deal of 
 money and will make you 'appy for the rest of your 
 days Business : you will thrive in business, you will 
 never be hunfortunate in business, you will 'ave luck 
 in business, you will always do a good business, may 
 hexpect to make money by large speculations in busi- 
 ness; difflety and trouble in business you will not 
 
278 The Witches of New York. 
 
 know Great Troubles : you need not hexpect to 'ave 
 many great troubles for you will not ; you 'ave 'ad 
 your great troubles in your nearly days Sickness: 
 you will never see no sickness, 'ave no fear of sickness 
 for you will not see none ; sickness, do not care for it 
 and make your mind heasy Friends : you 'ave got 
 many friends, both 'ere and helsewhere, your friends 
 will be 'appy and you will be 'appy, there will be no 
 difflety and trouble between you, you 'ave 'ad trouble 
 with your friends, but you face brighter days, be 
 'appy Wives : you will 'ave but one wife ; in the 
 third month from now you will 'ear from 'er, you will 
 get a letter from 'er, and in the fourth month you will 
 be married she is not particularly 'andsome, nor she 
 is not specially hugly, she 'as got blue heyes and 
 brown 'air, is partickler fond of 'ome and is now 
 heighteen years of hage 'Appiness : you will be the 
 'appiest people in all the land, you can't himagine the 
 'appiness you will 'ave Children: you will 'ave three 
 children, after you are married you will see no more 
 difflety and trouble; you will die in a foreign land 
 
The Gipsy Girl. 279 
 
 across the hocean but you will die 'appy. 'Ope for 
 'appiness and 'ave no huneasiness." 
 
 Thus prophesied the gay Bohemian, the nut-brown 
 maid, the dark-eyed oracle, the wise charmer, the 
 female seer, the beautiful sibyl, the lovely enchantress, 
 the romantic "gipsy girl" of the Third Avenue. 
 
 Komance and poesy were effectually demolished by 
 the overpowering realities of dirt, vulgarity, cockney- 
 ism, ignorance, scratch-wigs, bad English, and bad gin. 
 Sadly the Individual walked down stairs behind the 
 gyrating girl, who reappeared with an agile pirouette, 
 twirled down on her toes, and opened the door with a 
 dizzy revolution that made her look as if her head and 
 shoulders had got into a whirlpool of petticoats, and 
 were past all hope of mortal rescue. The little chink, 
 as of a bottle and glass, came faintly from the apart- 
 ment which is the home of the gipsy, and the indivi- 
 dual fancied that the gay Bohemian had returned to 
 her devotions. 
 
CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 Contains a true account of the Magic Establishment of Mrs, 
 
 Fleury, of No. 263 Broome Street, and also shows 
 
 the exact quantity of Witchcraft that snuffy 
 
 personage can afford for one 
 
 Dollar. 
 
CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 MADAME FLEURY, No. 263 BROOME STREET. 
 
 FROM what the reader has already perused of the pre- 
 dictions and prophecies of these modern dealers in 
 magic, he will hardly think them of a character to 
 inspire any great degree of confidence in the minds of 
 people of ordinary common sense. Still less will he 
 be disposed to believe that merchants of " credit and 
 renown;" business men, engaged in occupations, the 
 operations of which are presumed to be governed by 
 the nicest mathematical calculations, are ever so far 
 influenced by the miserable jargon of these "fortune- 
 tellers," as to seriously consult them in business mat- 
 ters of great importance. 
 
 Such, however, is the humiliating truth. 
 
 There are in New York city a number of mer- 
 
284 The Witches of New York. 
 
 chants, bankers, brokers, and other persons eminent 
 in the business world, and respectable in all social 
 relations, who never make an important business 
 move in any direction, until after consultation with 
 one or another of the Witches of New York. 
 
 There are many who are regular periodical cus- 
 tomers, and who visit the shrine of the oracle once a 
 month, or once in six weeks, as regularly as they 
 make out their balance-sheets, or take an account of 
 stock, and who guide their future investments and 
 business ventures as much by the written fifty-cent 
 prophecy as by either of the other documents. 
 
 Many country merchants have also learned this 
 trick, and some of them are in constant correspon- 
 dence with the cheap sybils of Grand Street ; and 
 others, when they come to the city for their stock of 
 goods for the next half year, visit their chosen fortune- 
 teller and get full and explicit directions how to con- 
 duct their business for the coming six months. Of 
 course, these proceedings are conducted with the great- 
 est possible secrecy, and the attention of the writer 
 
Madame Fleury. 285 
 
 was first awakened to this fact by the indiscreet boast- 
 ings of certain ones of the witches themselves, who 
 are not a little proud of their influence, and after 
 observations afforded ample proof and corroboration 
 of all he had been told. 
 
 . Great money enterprises have without doubt been 
 seriously affected by the yea or nay of the Bible and 
 key, and perhaps the Atlantic Cable Company would 
 have received more hearty assistance, and its stock 
 more extensive subscriptions in Wall Street, if certain 
 ones of the fortune-tellers had possessed more faith in 
 its success, and had so advised their patrons. 
 
 Incredible as these statements may seem, they are 
 nevertheless true, and this fact is another proof that 
 gross superstition is not confined to the low and filthy 
 parts of the city, where rags and dirt are the universal 
 rule, but that it has likewise a thrifty growth in quar- 
 ters of the town where stand the palaces of the " mer- 
 chant princes," and in avenues where rags are 
 almost unknown, and broadcloth, and gold, and fine- 
 t wined linen are the common wear. 
 
286 The Witches of New York. 
 
 It is said that certain counsel eminent in the learned 
 profession of the law, and that certain even of the 
 j udges of the bench, have been known to consult the 
 female practicers of the Black Art, but the author has 
 never been personally cognizant of a case of this kind, 
 and has no means of knowing whether the consulta- 
 tion was intended to benefit the lawyer or the witch ; 
 whether the former desired enlightenment as to the 
 management of some knotty professional point, or 
 whether the latter wanted legal advice as to some of 
 the side branches of her business. 
 
 Mrs. Fkury, whose domicile and mode of procedure 
 are described in this present chapter, has a large run 
 of this sort of what may be termed respectable custom, 
 and she does not fail to profit by it to the utmost. 
 She came to New York, from France, about six or 
 seven years ago, and at once established herself in the 
 witch business, which she could advertise extensively 
 in the papers, although the other branches of her pro- 
 fession, by which she probably makes more money 
 than by telling fortunes, would by no means bear 
 
Madame Fleury. 287 
 
 newspaper publicity. What these other branches 
 are, is more explicitly stated in other chapters of 
 this book, and, in fact, needs to be but hinted at, to 
 be at once understood by nearly all who read. 
 
 Madame Fleury advertised the world of her arrival 
 in America, and of her supernatural powers, and in a 
 short time customers began to flock in. It is now her 
 boast that she has as "respectable a connexion" as 
 any one in the trade, and that she has as great a 
 number of "regular, reliable customers," as any 
 conjuress in America. She says that most of her 
 "regular customers" visit her once in six weeks, six 
 being with her a favorite number, and she not under- 
 taking to guarantee her business predictions for a 
 greater length of time. 
 
 Whether she makes any discount from her ordinary 
 prices to these regular traders, she did not state, but pro- 
 bably witchcraft is governed by the same rule as other 
 commodities, and comes cheaper to wholesale dealers. 
 
 Duly armed and equipped with staff and scrip, and 
 duly fortified within by such stimulants as the exigen- 
 
288 The Witches of New York. 
 
 cies of the case seemed to demand, the Cash Customer 
 set out for 263 Broome Street, and after strict trial and 
 due examination of the premises and the people, he 
 made the following report. 
 
 It was a favorite remark of a learned though mis- 
 taken philosopher of the olden time, that "you can't 
 make a whistle of a pig's tail." The philosopher died, 
 but his saying was accepted by the world as an axiom 
 a bit of incontrovertible truth, eternal, Godlike, 
 fully up to par, worth a hundred per cent., with no 
 possibility of discount. Time, however, which often 
 demonstrates the fallibility of human wisdom, has not 
 spared even this oft-quoted adage ; and now there is 
 not a collection of curiosities in the land which lacks 
 a pig-tail whistle to proclaim in the shrillest tones the 
 falsity of the wise man's proposition, and the triumph 
 of Yankee ingenuity. Had this same philosopher 
 been interrogated on the subject, he would undoubt- 
 edly have announced, and with an equal show of 
 probability on his side of the argument, that " you 
 can't make a star-reading prophetess out of a snuffy 
 
Madame Fleury. 289 
 
 old woman ;" but had he lived to the present day, 
 the Cash Customer would have taken great pleasure 
 in exhibiting to him these two apparently irreconci- 
 lable characters combined in a single person, and that 
 person Mrs. Fleury, who pays for the daily insertion 
 of the following advertisement in the newspapers. 
 
 " ASTROLOGY. MRS. FLEURY, from Paris, is the most cele- 
 brated lady of the present age, in telling future events, true and 
 certain. She answers questions on business, marriage, absent 
 friends, &c., by magnetism. Office No. 263 Broome-st." 
 
 There is not so much of promise in this paragraph, 
 as there is in some of the more grandiloquent an- 
 nouncements of the other witches not probably, that 
 Madame Fleury is any less pretentious than they, but 
 her knowledge of the English language is not perfect 
 enough to enable her to give her ideas their full effect. 
 
 The Cash Customer resolved to visit this "most 
 celebrated lady of the age," who had come all the 
 way from Paris, to tell his " future events true and 
 
 certain," nothing daunted by the circumstance that 
 
 13 
 
; o The Witches of New York. 
 
 she lives in the filthiest part of Brocftne Street, which 
 has never been swept clean since it was a very new 
 Broome indeed. 
 
 If our fancy farmers, who expend so much money 
 upon the various foreign manures and fertilizing com- 
 pounds, would but turn their eyes in the direction of 
 Broome Street, a single glance would convince them 
 of the inexhaustible resources of their own country, 
 while guano would instantly depreciate in value, and 
 the island of Ichaboe not be worth a quarrel. This 
 prolific and valuable deposit that covers Broome Street 
 bears perennial crops : in the spring and summer, 
 dirty -faced children and mean-looking dogs seem to 
 spring from it spontaneously; they are succeeded 
 during the colder weather by a crop of tumble-down 
 barrels, and cast-away broken carts ; while the humbler 
 and more insignificant things, the uncared for weeds, 
 so to speak, of the abundant harvest, such as potato 
 parings, and fish heads, and shreds of ragged dish- 
 cloths, and bits of broken crockery, and old bones, 
 are in season all the year round. 
 
Madame Fleury. 291 
 
 In the midst of this filth, with policy-shops adjacent, 
 and pawnbrokers' offices close at hand, and rum shops 
 convenient in the neighborhood where the reeking 
 streets and stagnant gutters, and the heaps of decom- 
 posing garbage, send up a stench so thick and heavy 
 that it beslimes everything it touches, and makes a 
 man feel as if he were far past the saving powers of 
 soap and soft water, and was fast dissolving into rancid 
 lard oil in this congenial atmosphere flourishes the 
 prophetess, and here is found the mansion of Mrs. 
 Fleury, " the most celebrated lady of the age in tell- 
 ing future events." Her mansion is not one that would 
 be selected as a permanent residence by any one with 
 a superabundance of cash capital, nor did it seem 
 quite suited to the deservings of the " most celebrated 
 lady of the present age ;" the house, a three-story 
 brick, originally intended to be something above the 
 common, has been for so many years misused and 
 badly treated by reckless tenants, that it has com- 
 pletely lost its good temper, as well as its good looks, 
 and is now in a perpetual state of aggravated sulki- 
 
292 The Witches of New York. 
 
 ness. It resents the presence of a stranger as ^an 
 impertinent intrusion, and avenges the personality in 
 various disagreeable ways. It twitches its rickety 
 stairways impatiently under his feet, as if to shake 
 him off and damage him by the fall it viciously 
 attempts to pinch and jam his fingers with moody 
 dogged doors, which hold back as long as they can, 
 and then close with a sudden snap, exceedingly 
 dangerous to the unwary it tears his clothes with 
 ambushed rusty nails, and unsuspected hooks, and 
 sharp and jagged splinters it creaks its floors under 
 his tread with a doleful whine, and complains of his 
 cruel treatment in sharp-pointed, many-cornered tears 
 of plaster, which it drops from the ceiling upon his 
 head the instant he takes his hat off it yawns its 
 wide cellar doors open like a greedy mouth, evidently 
 hoping that an unlucky step will pitch him headlong 
 down and it conducts itself in a thousand ill-natured 
 ways like a sulky child that has been waked up too 
 early in the morning, and not properly whipped into 
 good behavior. The Individual, however, entered 
 
Madame Fleury. 293 
 
 the doors, unabashed by the malignant scowl which 
 was visible all over the face of the unamiable mansion, 
 and stumbled through a narrow, dirty hall, up two 
 flights of groaning stairs, before he discovered any 
 sign of the whereabouts of Madame. She evidently 
 did not occupy the entire of this sulky edifice, or he 
 would have seen some of the servants or retainers, who 
 would have been only too happy to direct him to the 
 head-quarters of the sorceress. But the few people he 
 saw about the place seemed to be each one occupied 
 with his or her own private affairs, and to be too much 
 taken up therewith to pay the slightest attention to 
 the new-comer. Their attentions to each other were 
 confined to reproaches, uncomplimentary assertions, 
 and sundry maledictory remarks, accompanied, in 
 case of the younger members of the various tribes, 
 with pinches, pokes, punches, and small but frequent 
 showers of brickbats. 
 
 The Individual disregarded these evidences of 
 good feeling, not considering himself called upon to 
 reply to any which were not addressed to him indivi- 
 
294 The Witches of New York. 
 
 dually, and plodded on till his roving eye rested on 
 a tin sign, on which was inscribed, " Madame Fleury, 
 Room No. 4." There were no mysterious emblems 
 or cabalistic flourishes accompanying this simple 
 announcement. 
 
 He pulled the knob and the door was instantly 
 opened by the lady herself, so quickly that the bell 
 had no time to ring until all necessity for it was over 
 she had evidently heard the advancing footsteps of 
 her customer, and had stood ready to pounce upon 
 him. She ushered hinl into the apartment, where 
 he soon recovered his self-possession, and took an 
 observation. 
 
 The room was a small square one, shabbily fur- 
 nished with very few articles of furniture, and these 
 were dimly visible through the snuffy mist which filled 
 the apartment ; there was snuff" everywhere ; there 
 was a snuffy dust on the chairs ; there was a precipi- 
 tate of snuff on the floor, and, if snuff was capable of 
 crystallization, there would undoubtedly have been 
 stalactitic formations of snuff depending from the ceil- 
 
Madame Fleury. 295 
 
 ing ; the Madame herself was snuff-colored, as if she 
 had been boiled in a decoction of tobacco. 
 
 She is a Frenchwoman, and has had about half a 
 century's experience of her present fleshly tabernacle, 
 which is somewhat the worse for wear, although from 
 the fossil remains of bygone beauty, still visible in her 
 ancient countenance, her customer inclined to the 
 belief that in some remote age she was comely and 
 pleasant to the eye. He founded this hypothesis 
 upon the brown hair and hazel eyes which time has 
 spared. 
 
 In respect to personal cleanliness, the Individual 
 regrets to say that the Madame was not in every 
 respect what a critical observer would wish to see ; 
 her hands and arms were in a condition which would 
 naturally lead to the belief that the Croton Corpora- 
 tion had cut off the water; and under each of her 
 finger-nails was a dark-colored deposit, which may 
 have been snuff, but looked like something dirtier. 
 She was dressed in a light striped calico dress, over 
 which was a black velvet mantle trimmed with fur, 
 
296 The Witches of New York. 
 
 and on her head was a portentous head-dress which 
 was fearfully and wonderfully made of shabby black 
 lace ; her face was in the same condition as her hands 
 and arms, as was also her neck, which was only visi- 
 ble to the upper edge of the collar-bone further 
 deponent saith not. 
 
 She more nearly approached the Cash Customer's 
 notion of the Witch of Endor, than any other lady 
 he had ever heard mentioned in polite society. She 
 at once prepared for business. 
 
 She seated herself behind a small stand, dusty with 
 snuff, on which were a number of little books on 
 astrology, written in French and German, and as 
 dirty and as fragrant as if they had been some kind 
 of clumsy vegetable which had been grown in a 
 tobacco plantation. 
 
 She asked her visitor if he spoke French or Ger- 
 man, to which he replied that, had he been conversant 
 with all the languages invented at the Babel smash-up, 
 he would on this occasion, for particular reasons, pre- 
 fer to confine himself to English. He also ventured 
 
Madame Fleury. 297 
 
 an inquiry as to terms, upon which she produced a 
 card containing a list of her charges, printed in Eng- 
 lish, French, and German. He learned from this 
 dingy document that the prices of telling fortunes by 
 lines of the hand, by cards, and by the stars, varied in 
 amount from one to five dollars. The Individual con- 
 cluded that one dollar's worth would suffice, and, 
 approaching the little table, he announced the result 
 of his cogitations. The enchantress, who was so 
 saturated with snuff and tobacco that every tune her 
 customer looked her in the face he sneezed, then 
 brought a pack of very filthy cards, which were 
 covered over with mysterious hieroglyphics done in 
 black paint. She asked her visitor to "cut" them, 
 which he reverently though daintily did, whereupon 
 she laid them on the table before her in four rows, 
 and spoke, having previously explained that she used 
 no witchcraft but did all her wonders by the signs of 
 the zodiac. The Individual concentrated his atten- 
 tion, and listened with all his ears while the witch of 
 Broome Street spoke thus : 
 
298 The Witches of New York. 
 
 " I will tell you first what these cards indicate, then 
 I will look at the lines of your hand, and then I will 
 answer three questions." 
 
 Here she paused, while her agitated listener sneezed 
 a couple of times ; then she resumed, speaking with a 
 strong foreign accent : 
 
 "You are good disposition have excellent me- 
 mory, you don't have many enemy, but what you do 
 is of your own sex you are very frank person and 
 you was born in the sign of the Crab. You have 
 some lucky days which are Mondays, Thursdays, and 
 Fridays, whatever you do on these .days is well, but 
 you shall not wash your hair on Thursdays, if so, you 
 will wash all your luck away. You must be very 
 careful of fire and water, you will be in great danger 
 of fire and water and you must be very careful. You 
 may die by fire or water, I cannot say but you must 
 certain be very careful of fire and water. You must 
 also be very careful of dogs, very careful of dogs, 
 you may die by a dog, but you must certain be very 
 careful of dogs." 
 
Madame Fleury. 299 
 
 Here she paused again, and while her visitor was 
 meditating on the full force of what he had heard, 
 and was inwardly resolving to go immediately home, 
 shoot Juno, and drown her as-yet-unoffending-but-in- 
 after-days-dangerous-to-his-peace-of-mind-and-the-hap- 
 piness-of-his-life pups, she prepared for the second 
 portion of her discourse. 
 
 Taking the Individual's hand in hers, a proceeding 
 which made him feel as if he had put his fingers into 
 a bladder of Maccoboy, she made the following pre- 
 diction : " You will be the father of five children, two 
 of them will be boysj who will be a great comfort to 
 you when you grow old." 
 
 She spoke no good of the girls, and the customer 
 foresaw feminine trouble in his household with those 
 same young ladies. Having a few moments to him- 
 self before she resumed, he worked himself into a 
 great passion with the ungrateful hussies who were 
 about to treat their kind old father in so scandalous a 
 manner ; but presently recollecting that they were as 
 yet in the condition of " your sister, Betsey Trotwood. 
 
300 The Witches of New York. 
 
 who never was born," he felt that he was slightly 
 premature in his wrath, so he cooled down and 
 resolved to make the best of it with his comfortable 
 boys. 
 
 The yellow sorceress continued: "Your line of 
 life is long, and you will live to a good old age. You 
 have had much trouble in love affairs, and now your 
 first love is entirely lost to you. You can never 
 reclaim her, and you must never venture anything in 
 lotteries." 
 
 Whether Madame Fleury supposed that her visitor 
 intended to spend his salary in lottery tickets, in the 
 hope of winning back his early love, or whether she 
 supposed that the woman then exhibiting herself as 
 " Perham's Grift Lady," was the person, is not in evi- 
 dence ; but, from the peculiar construction of her last 
 remark, something of the kind must have been in her 
 thoughts. She had now reached the third part of her 
 discourse, and come to the " three questions." She 
 produced an old French Bible, dingy with age and 
 snuff, and which she informed the observer had been 
 
Madame Fleury. 301 
 
 in her family for three hundred years ; an old iron 
 key was tied between the leaves, with the ring and 
 part of the shank of the key projecting, and the 
 Bible was tightly bound round with many folds of 
 black ribbon. Making her visitor hold one side of 
 the ring of the key, while she held the other, she said : 
 "Ask your three questions, and if they are to be 
 answered in the affirmative the book will turn." 
 
 The Individual, who had been much impressed by 
 her canine observation of a few minutes before, and 
 whose thoughts were still running upon his pet Juno, 
 and her six innocent offspring, in a fit of absence of 
 mind propounded this interrogatory : 
 
 "Shall I marry the person of whom I am now 
 thinking?" The potent enchantress repeated the 
 question aloud in French, and then, with pale lips 
 and trembling voice, she addressed the book and key 
 thus : 
 
 " Holy Bible, I ask you, in the name of the Father, 
 the Son, and the Holy Ghost, will this man marry the 
 person now in his mind ?" then she closed her eyes 
 
302 The Witches of New York. 
 
 for a moment, placed one hand over her heart, and 
 rapidly muttered something in so low a tone that it 
 was inaudible to her listener. Immediately the Bihle 
 commenced to turn slowly towards her, and soon had 
 made a complete revolution, thus expressing a very 
 decided affirmative. 
 
 Having started a matrimonial subject with so satis- 
 factory a result, her customer thought he could do no 
 better than to follow it up, and accordingly asked 
 question No. 2 : 
 
 "If I marry this person, will the marriage be a 
 happy one?" The same answer was given, in the 
 same manner. Being now satisfied as to his own 
 matrimonial prospects, he concluded to ascertain those 
 of his children, and question No. 3 was asked, as fol- 
 lows: 
 
 " Shall I live to see my children happily married?" 
 
 There was a long delay, which was undoubtedly 
 occasioned by the "difficulty of properly providing for 
 those refractory girls, but at last there came a reluc- 
 tant "Yes," 
 
.RSiTY 
 
 OF 
 'F* 
 
 Madame Fleury. 503 
 
 Having now got all that his dollar entitled him 
 to, the customer prepared to depart. The Madame 
 informed him that in a few days she would have her 
 " Magic Mirror " from Paris, with which she could do 
 new wonders, and she hoped that he would soon call 
 again, adding, " If I was ten year younger I would 
 not admit gentlemen, but now I am old and I must." 
 
CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 Describes an interview with the " Cullud" Seer, Mr. Grommer, 
 
 of No. 34 North Second Street, Williamsburgh, 
 
 and what that respectable Whitewasher and 
 
 Prophet told his Visitor. 
 
CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 A BLACK PROPHET, MR. GROMMER, No. 34 
 NORTH SECOND STREET, WILLIAMSBURGH. 
 
 BESIDES those who advertise in the daily journals, 
 there are many other witches in and about the city 
 who do not deign so to inform the world of their 
 miraculous powers. Either they have not full faith 
 in their own supernatural gifts, or they distrust the 
 policy of advertising ; at any rate they are only 
 known to the inquiring stranger by accidental rumors, 
 and mysterious side- whisperings emanating from those 
 credulous ones who have had ocular proof of the mira- 
 cle-working facility of these veiled prophets. 
 
 In certain of the older States of the Union, there 
 cannot probably be found any country village that 
 does not boast its old crones of fortune-telling cele- 
 
308 The Witches of New York. 
 
 brity women who are not named by the awe-struck 
 youngsters of the town, but with low breath and a 
 startled sort of look thrown backward over the 
 shoulder every minute as if in half-fear that the evil 
 eye is even there upon them. And in almost every 
 neighborhood in any part of the country, there 
 will be one or more old women who delight in mysti- 
 fying the young folks by telling fortunes in tea-cups, 
 by means of the ominous settling of the " grounds ;" 
 or who, sometimes, even "run the cards," or aspire to 
 read the fates by the portentous turning of the Bible 
 and key. All these conjurations are given without 
 money and without price in the rural districts, but 
 they sometimes work no little mischief. 
 
 There people do not advertise their willingness to 
 read the fates, and only exercise their gifts in that 
 direction as a matter of friendship to certain favored 
 ones. The city and the suburbs are full of people of 
 this kind, who profess to know the gift of prophecy 
 and of miracles, but who do not make their whole 
 living by the exercise of their supernatural powers, 
 
Mr. Grommer. 309 
 
 depending in part on some popular branch of indus- 
 try. They differ, however, from their sisters of the 
 country in this regard; whenever they do consent 
 to do a little magic for the accommodation of an 
 anxious inquirer, they are very careful to charge him 
 a round price for it. Many of them combine fortune- 
 telling with hard work, and do their full day's work 
 of faithful toil at some legitimate employment, and in 
 the evening amuse themselves with witchcraft. 
 
 These are chrysalis witches ; prophets in embryo ; 
 magicians in a state of apprenticeship ; they are learn- 
 ing the trade, and as soon as they feel competent to 
 do journey-work, they drop their hard labor, and at 
 once set up for full-fledged witches or conjurors. 
 
 Mr. Grommer, the Black Sage of Williamsburgh, 
 and his solid and amiable wife, were in this half-way 
 state when they were visited by the Cash Customer. 
 Their fame had reached his ears by the means of some 
 kind friends who were cognisant of his peculiar inves- 
 tigations at that time, and who told him of the super- 
 natural gifts of this amiable old couple. 
 
310 The Witches of New York. 
 
 Accordingly the Individual, having made exact 
 inquiries as to their local habitation, one fine morn- 
 ing set out in pursuit, and in due time made up the 
 following report. Since that tune it is reported that 
 this worthy pair have followed the law of progression 
 hereinbefore hinted at, and having arrived at the 
 fulness of all magical knowledge, have laid aside 
 the whitewash pail and discarded the scrubbing- 
 brush, and given their time entirely to the practice of 
 the Black Art. 
 
 The Individual beginneth his discourse thus: 
 
 It is an old saying, that "The Devil is never so 
 black as he is painted." What may be the precise 
 shade of the complexion of his amiable majesty the 
 Cash Customer has no means of ascertaining to an 
 exact nicety at this present time of writing ; but he 
 makes the positive assertion, that some of the Satanic 
 human employees are so black as to need no painting 
 of any description. 
 
 Whether or not the ancient " wise men from the 
 East " were swarthy skinned he is not competent to 
 
Mr. Grommer. 311 
 
 decide; but he is able to prove, by ocular demon- 
 stration, to an unbelieving sceptic, that some of the 
 modern " wise men " are particularly " dark-com- 
 plected." 
 
 Mrs. Grommer, of No. 34 North Second Street, in 
 the suburb of Williamsburgh, is a case in point. 
 The fame of this illustrious ebony lady had gone 
 abroad through the land, and her skill in prophecy 
 had been vouched for by those who professed to have 
 personal knowledge of the truthfulness of her predic- 
 tions. But an air of mystery surrounded the sable 
 sorceress, and it was declared to be impossible to 
 obtain a knowledge of her exact whereabouts, except 
 by a preliminary visit to a certain mysterious " cave," 
 the locality of which was accurately described. 
 
 A cave! this promised well; no other witches 
 encountered by the Cash Customer, had he found 
 in a cave, or in anything resembling that hollow 
 luxury. 
 
 A cave ! the very word smacked of diabolism, and 
 had the true flavor of genuine witchcraft. Our over- 
 
31 2 The Witches of New York. 
 
 joyed hero thought of the Witch of Vesuvius in 
 her mountain cavern of her lank, grey, dead hair ; 
 her livid, corpse-like skin ; her stony eye ; her 
 shrivelled, blue lips; her hollow voice, and her 
 threatening arm, and skinny, menacing forefinger 
 of the red-eyed fox at her side, the crested serpent at 
 her feet, the mystic lamp above her head, and the 
 statue in the background, triple-headed with skulls 
 of dog, and horse, and boar. Something of this kind 
 he hoped to witness in the present instance, for 
 he argued that any sorceress who lived in a cave 
 must surely be supplied with some more cabalistic 
 instruments with which to work her spells than 
 greasy playing-cards or rusty brass door-keys. At 
 last, then, he had discovered something in modern 
 witchcraft worthy the ancient romance of the name. 
 Triumphant and overjoyed, he prepared for the visit, 
 confident in his ability to witness any spectacle, 
 however terrible, without flinching, and in his cou- 
 rage to pass any ordeal, however fearful. He swal- 
 lowed no countercharms or protective potions, and 
 
Mr. Grommer. 313 
 
 did not even take the precaution to sew a horse-shoe 
 in the seat of his pantaloons. 
 
 It is true he was rash, but much must be forgiven 
 to youthful curiosity, especially when conjoined with 
 professional ambition. The carelessness, in respect 
 to his own safety, was productive of no ill effects, for 
 he returned from this perilous excursion in every 
 regard as good as he went. He had by this time 
 entirely recovered from his matrimonial aspirations, 
 and had given up all hope of a witch wife. Still, he 
 hoped to find in the cave, something more worthy the 
 ancient and honorable name of witchcraft than any- 
 thing he had yet seen. 
 
 Alas ! for the uncertainty of mortal hopes. All is 
 vanity, bosh, and botheration. 
 
 On arriving at the enchanted spot, it soon became 
 evident to the senses of our astonished friend that 
 the " Cave " was not a cavern, fit for the habitation 
 of a powerful sorceress, but was merely a mystifying 
 cognomen applied to a drinking saloon with a billiard 
 
 room attached, which had accommodations, also, for 
 
 14 
 
314 The Witches of New York. 
 
 persons who wished to participate in other profane 
 games. 
 
 On entering the " Cave," your deluded customer 
 saw no toothless hag with the expected witch-like 
 surroundings, but observed only a company of men, 
 seemingly respectable, indulging in plentiful pota- 
 tions of beer and certain other liquids, which 
 appeared, at the distance from which he observed 
 them, to be the popular compounds designated in the 
 vulgar tongue as " whiskey toddies." Addressing the 
 nearest bystander, the gulled Individual ascertained 
 the habitation of Mrs. Grommer, and immediately 
 departed in search of that interesting female. 
 
 The way was crooked, as all Williamsburgh ways 
 are, but after an irregular, curvilinear journey of 
 half an hour, the anxious inquirer stood in front of 
 the looked-for mansion. 
 
 The grading of the street has left at this point a 
 gravel bank some six or eight feet high, on the sum- 
 mit of which is perched the house of Mrs. Grommer, 
 like a contented mud-turtle on a sunny stump. It is 
 
Mr. Grommer. 
 
 a one-story affair, with several irregular wings or 
 additions sprouting out of it at unexpected angles, 
 and, on the whole, it looks as if it had been origi- 
 nally built tall and slim like a tallow candle, but 
 had melted and run down into its present indescrib- 
 able shape. The architect neglected to provide this 
 beautiful edifice with a front door, and the inquirer 
 was compelled to ascend the bank by a flight of rheu- 
 matic steps, and make a grand detour through cur- 
 rant bushes, chickens, washtubs, rain-barrels, and 
 colored children, irregular as to size, and variegated 
 as to hue, to the back, and only door. Here his 
 modest rap was unanswered, and he composedly 
 walked in, unasked, through the kitchen, and took a 
 seat in the parlor, where he was presently discovered 
 by the lady of the house, but not until he had time to 
 take an accurate observation. 
 
 Mrs. Grommer had, up to this time, been engaged 
 in making a public example of certain ones of her 
 grandchildren, who had been trespassing on the cur- 
 rant bushes of a neighbor, and had been caught in 
 
31 6 The Witches of New York. 
 
 the act. Their indulgent grandmother, being scandal- 
 ized by this exhibition of youthful depravity, with a 
 regard for the demands of strict justice that did her 
 infinite credit, had inflicted on several of the delin- 
 quents that mild punishment known as " spanking." 
 The novelty of the sight had drawn together quite a 
 collection of the neighbors, who signified their 
 approval of the deed by encouraging cheers. 
 
 Meantime the Individual had ample time to 
 contemplate the inside beauties of the mansion of the 
 sable prophet. Mrs. Grommer soon finished her 
 athletic exercise out-doors, and came into the house 
 to rearrange her dress and receive her company. 
 
 The reception-room was about 10 by 12, and so low 
 that a tall man could not yawn in it without rapping 
 his head against the ceiling. In places the plaster 
 had been displaced and the bare lath showed through, 
 reminding one of skeletons. The floor was dingily 
 carpeted ; a double bed occupied one side of the room, 
 a small cooking-stove stood in the middle of the floor 
 and had a disproportionately slim pipe issuing out of 
 
Mr. Grommer. 317 
 
 the corner, like a straw in a mint-julep ; seven chairs 
 of varied patterns, a small round table, on which lay 
 a pack of cards covered with a cloth, and a tumble- 
 down chest of drawers completed the necessary furni 
 ture of the apartment. The ornaments are quickly 
 enumerated. A black wooden cross hung by the 
 windows, a few cheap and gaudy Scriptural prints 
 were fastened against the wall, a chemist's bottle, of 
 large dimensions, and filled with a blue liquid, reposed 
 on the chest of drawers, side by side with a few minia- 
 ture casts of lambs and dogs ; and on a little shelf 
 stood a quarter-size plaster bust of some unknown 
 worthy, of which the head had been knocked off and 
 its place significantly supplied with a goose-egg. 
 
 In a short time Mrs. Grommer emerged from an 
 unlooked-for apartment and entered the room. She 
 is a negress and a grandmother her age is 65, and a 
 brood of children, together with a swarm of the afore- 
 said grandchildren, reside near at hand and keep the 
 old lady's mansion constantly besieged. 
 
 As to size she is large, apparently solid, and 
 
31 8 The Witches of New York. 
 
 would struggle severely with a 200 pound weight 
 before she would acknowledge herself conquered. 
 She was neatly attired, and, in fact, a most grateful 
 air of cleanliness pervaded the entire establishment, 
 and it was a refreshing contrast to most of the dens 
 of the fairer-skinned witches heretofore encountered 
 by the cash delegate. 
 
 The sable one entered into conversation, and a few 
 minutes were passed in cheerful chat, in the course of 
 which she thus referred to the scapegrace husband of 
 one of her numerous daughters : " They think Anson 
 is dead, but I can't station him dead. I think he's at 
 sea somewhere, or in a foreign land, but I can't station 
 him dead. He might as well be under ground for all 
 the good he is, for he i ssuch a poor, mis'able, drinkin' 
 feller that he aint no use, but, after all, I can't run 
 him dead." 
 
 At last, the object of the visit was mentioned, and, 
 to the individual's great surprise, Mrs. Grommer posi- 
 tively and peremptorily refused to give him the 
 benefit of her prophetic powers. 
 
Mr. Grommer. 319 
 
 She said : "It aint no use ; I never does for gentle- 
 men. I does sometimes for ladies, but I can't do it 
 for gentlemen." Eemonstrance and entreaty were 
 alike useless ; she was immovable. At last, she said 
 she would call her " old man," who could tell fortunes 
 as well as she could, but she added, with a determined 
 shake of the head : " He'll do it, but he will charge 
 you a dollar, and he wont do it under, neither." 
 When her hearer expressed his willingness to learn 
 his future fate by the masculine medium, she 
 addressed him thus: "You station there, in that 
 chair, and I'll send him." The disappointed one 
 " stationed " in the designated chair, and awaited the 
 coming of the "old man." He soon appeared and 
 seated himself, ready to begin. 
 
 " Old Man " Grommer is a professor of the white- 
 washing branch of decorative art. He occasionally 
 relaxes his noble mind from the arduous mental labor 
 attendant upon the successful carrying on of his regu- 
 lar business, and condescends to earn an easy dollar 
 by fortune-telling. He is a shrewd-looking old man, 
 
320 The Witches of New York. 
 
 with a dash of white blood in his composition; his 
 hair curls tightly all over his head, but is elaborated 
 on each side of his face into a single hard-twisted ring- 
 let ; short crisped whiskers, streaked with grey, encir- 
 cle his face, and an imperial completes his hirsute 
 attractions ; his cheeks and forehead are marked with 
 the small-pox. 
 
 He was attired in a grey and striped dress, the 
 peculiarity of which was that the coat and vest were 
 bound with wide stripes of black velvet. He speaks 
 with but little of the peculiar negro dialect, except when 
 he forgets himself for an instant, and unguardedly 
 relapses into the old habits, which he has evidently 
 carefully endeavored to overcome. He looked at his 
 visitor very sharply for a minute or two, while he pre- 
 tended to be abstractedly shuffling the cards; and 
 collecting his valuable thoughts, at last he remarked : 
 
 " I s'pose you want me to run the cards for you ?" 
 The reply was in the affirmative, and the colored 
 prophet concentrated his mind and began. Slowly he 
 dealt the cards, and spake as follows : 
 
Mr. Grommer. 321 
 
 " You don't believe in fortunes, my son I see that. 
 Must tell you what I see here can't help it if I see 
 it in the cards, must tell you. You've had great deal 
 trouble, my son ; more comin'. Can't help it ; mus' 
 tell you. I see trouble in de cards ; I see razackly 
 what it is." 
 
 Here he suddenly stopped, and resuming his 
 guarded manner, continued : " You've lost something, 
 my son ; something that you think a great deal of. 
 Now I don't like to tell about lost things ; I'se 'fraid 
 I'll get myself into a snare ; I'd rather not say nothing 
 about it ; fear I'll get myself into trouble." His audi- 
 tor here gave him the most positive assurances that he 
 should never be called into court to identify the thief 
 of the missing article, and that he should be held free 
 from all harm ; whereupon he consented to impart 
 the following information : 
 
 "Dis thing you lost is something that hangs up on 
 a nail something bright and round you thinks a 
 great deal of it, my son when it went away it had on 
 
 a bright guard hasn't got a bright guard on now ; 
 
 14* 
 
322 The Witches of New York. 
 
 got a black guard you see I knows all about de 
 article, my son, and I can tell you razackly where de 
 article is but I'se rather not tell you 'bout it, my son ; 
 'fraid I'll run myself into a snare ; dat's the truth, my 
 son, rather no say nothin' 'bout de article." 
 
 Being again assured of safety, he went on r "Well, 
 my son, I'll tell you 'bout this yer thing. Has you 
 got any boys in yer employ ? No. Got two girls 
 have you ? One of dem girls is light-haired and de 
 other is dark the light one is de one who comes in 
 your room in your boarding-house every morning 
 when you'se gone away 'cause you lives in a boardin' 
 house, I sees that can see it in the cards, can always 
 tell razackly. If you make a fuss about dat article 
 you make your landlady feel bad. You has accused 
 somebody of taking that article, but you 'cused de 
 wrong person. The light-haired girl is who's got that 
 article. Can't help it, my son, must tell you de 
 light-haired girl is de person. Mebbe she's put it 
 back, my son, I'll see." 
 
 Here he cut the cards carefully, and continued : 
 
Mr. Grommer. 323 
 
 "There's trouble 'bout dat article, my son, can't 
 help it, must tell you but you'll get the article, but 
 you'll have disappointment. Whenever you see dat 
 card you may know there's disappointment comin' 
 dat card is always disappointment can't help it, my 
 son, must tell you." Here he exhibited the nine of 
 spades, to the malignant influence of which he attri- 
 buted the future woes of his hearer. 
 
 " When you go home look in your bed between 
 the mattresses and see if the article is there, for 
 mebbe she'll put it back if it aint there you must 
 go to her and 'cuse her of it, 'cause it's in the house 
 and she's got it can't help it, my son, must tell 
 you." 
 
 It is perhaps needless to say that the customer had 
 met with no loss of property, and that all this was 
 entirely gratuitous on the part of Mr. Grommer. 
 Having, however, settled the matter to his satisfac- 
 tion, that gentleman turned his attention to other 
 things, and in the intervals of repeated shufflings and 
 cuttings of the cards he said : 
 
324 The Witches of New York. 
 
 u Dere is a journey for you soon and dis journey 
 is going to be the best thing that ever happened to 
 yon but dere is a little disappointment first can't 
 help it, my son, must tell here you can see for your- 
 self," and out came the malicious nine of spades again. 
 " You will get money from beyond sea, my son lots 
 of money, lots of money, my son here it is, you can 
 see for yourself," and he exhibited the cheerful faces 
 of the eight, nine, and ten of diamonds. " You will 
 have disappointment before you get this money," and 
 up came the hateful visage of the nine of spades once 
 more. " You was born under a good star, my son 
 under a morning star you was born under the planet 
 Jupiter, my son, at 28 minutes past four in the morn- 
 ing lucky star, my son, very lucky star. You are 
 going to make a great change in your business, my 
 son, which will be good ; you will always be success- 
 ful in business, but I think there is a little disappoint- 
 ment first ; can't help it, must tell you." Here the 
 listener looked for the nine of spades again, but it 
 didn't come, "After a little while you turns your 
 
Mr. Grommer, 325 
 
 back on trouble ; here, you can see for yourself see, 
 this is you." 
 
 The king of clubs was the Individual at that instant, 
 and the troubles upon which he turned his back are, 
 as nearly as he can remember, the knave of clubs, the 
 nine of spades, and the deuce of diamonds. 
 
 The sage went on. " I'm comin' now to your mar- 
 riage. You'se goin' to be married, but you'll have 
 some disappointment first can't help it, my son, must 
 tell you. You see, here is a dark-complected lady 
 that you like, and she has a heart for you, but her 
 father don't like you he prefers a young man of 
 lighter complexion see, here you all are, my son. 
 This is you," and he showed the king of clubs " and 
 this is her." The "her" of whom he spoke so irreve- 
 rently, was the queen of clubs. " This is the heart she 
 has for you," and he exhibited the seven of that 
 amorous suit. "This is her father" the obstinate 
 and cruel "parient" here displayed, was the king 
 of spades " and dis yer is de young man her father 
 likes," and he placed before the eyes of the customer 
 
326 The Witches of New York. 
 
 a hated rival in the shape of the knave of diamonds. 
 " You see how it is, my son, dere is trouble between 
 you can't help it. You may possibly marry de 
 dark-complected lady yet, but don't you do it, my 
 son, don't you do it now mind I tell you, don't you 
 do it she is not the lady for you can't help it, 
 must tell you ; if you marry dat lady you will be 
 sorry dat you ever tie de knot. "See, here is the 
 knot," and he showed the ace of diamonds. " See, this 
 is the lady you ought to marry," and he produced 
 the queen of diamonds; "and she will be your second 
 wife if you do marry de dark-complected lady, but 
 you'd better marry her first if you can get her, and 
 let de dark-complected lady go for ebber; dat's so, my 
 son, now mind I tell you." 
 
 He condescended no more, and the Cash Customer 
 disbursed his dollar and departed, all the grandchil- 
 dren gathering on the bank to give him three cheers 
 as a parting salute. 
 
CHAPTER XV. 
 
 How the "Individual" calls on Madame Clifton, of No. 185 
 Orchard Street, and how that amiable and gifted 
 " Seventh daughter of a seventh daughter," pro- 
 phesies his speedy death and destruction, 
 together with all about the " Chinese 
 Ruling Planet Charm/' 
 
CHAPTER XV. 
 
 MADAME CLIFTON, 185 ORCHARD STREET. 
 
 PERHAPS there is no class of men brought constantly 
 and prominently before the public eye, that is so 
 great a puzzle to that public, as the class popularly 
 denominated " sporting men." There is not a corner 
 on Broadway where they do not congregate ; there is 
 not a theatre where they do not abound, and there is 
 not a concert-room that docs not overrun with them. 
 There is a uniformity in their appearance that makes 
 them easily recognised, for they all affect the ultra 
 stylish in costume, even to the extreme of light kid 
 gloves in the street ; they all have the crisp mous- 
 tache, the smooth-shaven cheeks, and the same keen, 
 ever-watchful eye, constantly on the look-out for a 
 " customer," that respectable word meaning, in their 
 
330 The Witches of New York. 
 
 slang, a person to be victimized and swindled. Every 
 lady who walks the street has to run the gauntlet of 
 their insolent glances, and not unfrequently to hear 
 their vulgar and offensive criticisms on her personal 
 appearance ; and every gentleman whose business 
 calls him into Broadway of a pleasant day, has seen 
 these persons grouped on the corner leisurely survey- 
 ing the passers-by, or gathered into a little knot 
 before some favorite rum-shop, discussing what is, to 
 them, the absorbing topic of the day probably the 
 "good strike" Blobbsby made, " fighting the tiger," 
 the night before; the "heavy run" a favorite billiard- 
 player made on a certain occasion, or the respective 
 chances of success of the two distinguished gentlemen 
 who may chance at that time to be in training with 
 a view of battering each other's heads until one con- 
 cedes his claim to the brutal "honors" of the prize 
 ring. 
 
 No gentlemen of fashion and fortune are more 
 expensively dressed than these men ; no class of peo- 
 ple wear more finely stitched and embroidered linen, 
 
Madame Clifton. 331 
 
 more costly broadcloth, more showy golden orna- 
 ments, or more brilliant diamonds; but for all, the 
 man is yet to be found who has ever seen one of them 
 put his hand or his brain to one single hour's honest 
 work. Unsophisticated persons are often puzzled to 
 account for the apparently irreconcilable circumstances 
 of no work, and plenty of money, and in their en- 
 deavors to invent a plausible hypothesis on the basis 
 of honesty, must ever be bewildered. The city man 
 knows them at a glance to be " sporting men." 
 
 This phrase is a particularly comprehensive one ; 
 the " sporting man" is a gambler by profession, and 
 therefore a swindler by necessity, for an " honest 
 gambler" would fill a niche in the scale of created 
 beings that has never yet been occupied ; in addition 
 to this, nearly every sporting man is a thief whenevei 
 opportunity offers. They probably would not pick a 
 sober man's pocket, or knock him down at night and 
 take his watch and money, for the risk of detection 
 would be too great ; but they are kept from down- 
 right stealing by no excess of virtue. 
 
332 The Witches of New York. 
 
 These remarks apply to the " sporting men," by 
 profession to those plausible gallows-birds who have 
 no other ostensible means of getting a living. There 
 are many men who sometimes spend an hour or two 
 at a faro table, or who occasionally pass an evening 
 in gambling at some other game, who do all fairly, 
 and are above all suspicion of foul play ; these 
 persons are of course plundered by sharpers who 
 surround them, and are called " good fellows " 
 because they submit to their losses without grum- 
 bling. 
 
 The " sporting men " all have mistresses, on whom 
 they sometimes rely for funds whenever an " unlucky 
 hit," or a "bad streak of luck," has run their own 
 purses low. 
 
 It is not part of the present purpose of this book to 
 give particulars as to who and what their mistresses 
 are, further than to state that at least one or two of 
 the "Witches" described herein, officiate in that 
 capacity. It is true, that the most of them are not of 
 a style to tempt the lust of any man, but there are 
 
Madame Clifton. 333 
 
 certain exceptions to the general rule, and in one or 
 two instances the " Individual " found the fortune- 
 teller to be comely and pleasant to the eye. As these 
 women generally have plenty of money, they are very 
 eligible partners for gamblers, who are liable to as 
 many reverses as ever Mr. Micawber encountered, and 
 who, when once down, might remain perpetually 
 floored, did not some kind friend set them on their 
 financial feet again. 
 
 And this is one of the duties of the monied mistress. 
 When the " sporting man " is in funds, no one more 
 recklessly extravagant than he, and no one cuts a 
 greater dash than his " ladye-love," if he chooses so to 
 do ; but when the cards run cross, and the purse is 
 empty, it devolves upon her to furnish the capital to 
 start in the world again. 
 
 The fact is well known to those who have taken 
 the trouble to inquire into the subject, that several of 
 the more fashionable fortune-tellers of the city sus- 
 tain this sort of illicit relation to certain "sporting 
 men," whose faces a man may see, perhaps, half a 
 
334 The Witches of New York. 
 
 dozen times in the course of a lounge up and down 
 Broadway of a pleasant afternoon. 
 
 Madame Clifton is, on the whole, a comely woman, 
 and does a good business, but of course no sane per- 
 son will think of applying these remarks personally 
 to that respected matron. 
 
 The " Individual " paid a lengthened visit to 
 Madame Clifton, and his remarks are recorded below. 
 Because he met a sleek, close-shaved, finely mous- 
 tached gentleman coming away from the door, he was 
 of course not justified in believing that the said gen- 
 tleman belonged to the establishment. Of course 
 not. 
 
 The female professors of the black art hitherto 
 visited by the Cash Customer, had not impressed him 
 with a profound belief in their supernatural powers ; 
 he was " anxious," and was " awakened to inquiry," 
 but he still had doubts, and there was great danger 
 of his backsliding if there wasn't something imme- 
 diately done for him. 
 
 He had been greatly disappointed by the absence 
 
Madame Clifton. 335 
 
 from the domiciles of these good ladies of all the tradi- 
 tional necromantic implements and tools. His dispo- 
 sition to adhere to the modern witch-faith would have 
 been greatly strengthened by the sight of a skull and 
 cross-bones ; a tame snake, or a little devil in a bottle, 
 would have fixed his wavering belief; and his con- 
 version would have been thoroughly assured by the 
 timely exhibition of a broom-stick on which he could 
 see the saddle-marks. 
 
 None of these things had as yet been forthcoming, 
 and the anxious inquirer, mourning the departure of 
 all the romance of the art of witchcraft, was fast sink- 
 ing into a state of incurable scepticism on the subject 
 of even its utility, in the degenerate hands of modern 
 practitioners. Hope had not, however, entirely de- 
 serted his heart, but still retained her fabled position 
 in the bottom of his chest, near that important viscus, 
 and he, therefore, courageously continued his pursuit 
 of witchcraft under difficulties. 
 
 His next visit was to Orchard street, and he was 
 induced to expect favorable results by the encouraging 
 
336 The Witches of New York. 
 
 and positive assertion which concludes the subjoined 
 advertisement, that " Madame Clifton is no humbug:' 7 
 
 " AN ASTROLOGIST THAT BEATS THE WORLD, and $5,000 reward 
 is offered to pay any person who can surpass her in giving cor- 
 rect statements on past, present, and future events, particularly 
 absent friends, losses, lawsuits, &c. She also gives lucky num- 
 bers. She surpasses any person that has ever visited our city. 
 She is also making great cures. All persons who are afflicted 
 with consumption, liver complaint, scrofula, rheumatism, or any 
 other lingering disease, would do well to call and see this won- 
 derful and natural gifted lady, and you will not go away dissatis- 
 fied. N.B. Madame Clifton is no humbug. Call and satisfy 
 yourselves. Residence No. 185 Orchard-st, between Houston 
 and Stanton." 
 
 Although Orchard Street is by no means so objec- 
 tionable a thoroughfare as human ingenuity might 
 make it, still, in spite of its pleasant-sounding name, it 
 is not altogether a vernal paradise. If there ever was 
 any fitness in the name it must have been many years 
 ago, and the ancient orchard bears now no fruit, but 
 
Madame Clifton. 337 
 
 low brick houses of assorted sizes and colors, seedy, 
 and, in appearance, semi-respectable. Occasionally a 
 blacksmith's shop, a paint room, or a livery stable, 
 lower or meaner and more contracted than their neigh- 
 bors, look as if they never got ripe, but had shrivelled 
 and dropped off before their time. 
 
 The street is in a state of perennial bloom with 
 half-built dwellings like gaudy scarlet blossoms, which 
 are ripened into tenements by the fostering care of 
 masons and carpenters with the most industrious 
 forcing ; and buds of buildings are scattered in every 
 direction, in the shape of mortar-beds and piles of 
 brick and lumber, waiting the due time for their 
 architectural sprouting. 
 
 The house of Madame Clifton is of moderate 
 growth, being but two stories high ; it has a red brick 
 front and green window-blinds, and is so ingeniously 
 grafted to its nearest neighbor that some little care is 
 necessary to determine which is the parent stock. It 
 presents a fair outside, is but little damaged by age or 
 
 weather, and is seemingly in a state of good repair. 
 
 15 
 
338 The Witches of New York. 
 
 A neat-looking colored girl answered the bell, and, 
 showing our reporter into the parlor, asked his busi- 
 ness, and if he " knew Madame Clifton's terms ?" 
 
 Now when it is understood that fortune-telling .is 
 by no means the only, or the most lucrative part of 
 Madame Clifton's business, it will be perceived that 
 this inquiry had a peculiar significance. Having the 
 fear of libel suits before his eyes, the Individual cannot 
 state in precise and plain terms the exact nature of 
 the business which the colored girl evidently thought 
 had brought him there ; he will content himself with 
 delicately insinuating, that if his errand had been of 
 the nature insinuated by that female delegate from 
 Africa, there would have been a " lady in the case." 
 
 Fortunately the Cash Customer had erred not thus, 
 but he made known to the colored lady his simple 
 business. 
 
 Learning that he only wanted to have his fortune 
 told by the Madame, and had no occasion to test her skill 
 in the more expensive departments of her profession, 
 the girl appeared to be satisfied of the responsibility 
 
Madame Clifton. 339 
 
 of her visitor for that limited amount, and departed 
 to inform her mistress. 
 
 The customer took an observation. 
 
 The room was a neatly-furnished parlor, a little 
 flashy perhaps in the article of mirrors, but the sofas, 
 chairs, carpet, &c., were plain and not offensive to 
 good taste. A piano was in the room, but it was 
 closed, and its tone and quality are unknown. One 
 curious article, for a parlor ornament, stood in the cor- 
 ner of the room ; it was the huge sign-board of a per- 
 fumery store, and bore in large letters the name of 
 a dealer in sweet-scented merchandise, blazoned 
 thereon in all the finery of Dutch metal and bronze. 
 This conspicuous article, though mysterious and 
 unaccountable, was not cabalistic, and savored not of 
 witchcraft. 
 
 Presently the quiet colored girl returned, and in a 
 low voice, and with a subdued well-trained manner, 
 invited her visitor to follow her ; meekly obeying, he 
 was led up two flights of respectable stairs into a 
 room wherein there was nothing mysterious, nor was 
 
340 The Witches of New York. 
 
 there anything particularly suggestive except a large 
 glass case filled with a stock of perfumery. "What 
 was the propriety of so very many bottles filled with 
 perfumes and medicines did not at first appear ; but 
 the assortment of imprisoned odors, and liquid drugs, 
 and the store-sign down stairs, and Madame Clifton, 
 and a certain perfumery store in Broadway, and the 
 proprietor thereof, so tangled themselves together in 
 the brain of the inquirer that he has never since that 
 time been able to disconnect one from the other. 
 
 Upon a small stand were two packs of cards the 
 one an ordinary playing pack, and the other what are 
 known sometimes as fortune-telling cards. The 
 devices on these latter differed materially from those 
 in ordinary use; there were no plain cards; every 
 one was ornamented with some kind of a significant 
 design; there were pictures of women, of men, of 
 ships and raging seas, of hearses, and sickbeds, and 
 shrouds, and coffins, and corpses, and graves, and 
 tombstones, and similar cheerful objects; then there 
 were squares, and circles, and hands with scales, and 
 
Madame Clifton. 341 
 
 hands with daggers, and hands sticking through 
 clouds, and purses of money, and carriages, and 
 moons, and suns, and serpents, and hearts, and Cupids, 
 and eyes, and rays of light coming from nowhere, and 
 shining on nothing, and Herculeses with big clubs, and 
 big arms, bigger than the clubs, and big legs, bigger 
 than both together, and swords, and spears, and sun- 
 dials, and many other designs equally intelligible and 
 portentous. 
 
 Soon the Madame appeared, and the attention of 
 the Individual was immediately diverted from sur- 
 rounding objects and riveted on the incomprehensible 
 woman who was " no humbug," and who, according 
 to her own opinion of herself, would have exactly 
 realized Mr. Edmund Sparkler's idea of a "dem'dfine 
 woman, with nobigodnonsense about her." 
 
 On the first glance, Madame Clifton is what would 
 be called "fine-looking," but she does not analyse 
 well. She is of medium height, aged about thirty-five 
 years, with very light, piercing blue eyes, and very 
 black hair, one little lock of which is precisely twisted 
 
342 The Witches of New York. 
 
 into a very elaborate little curl, which rests in the 
 middle of her forehead between her eyes, as if to keep 
 those quarrelsome orbs apart. Her eyebrows are 
 unusually heavy, so much so as to give a curious 
 menacing look to the upper part of her face, which 
 disagreeable expression is intensified by the extreme 
 paleness of her countenance. 
 
 Her dress was unassuming, neat, and tasteful, save 
 in the one article of jewelry, of which she wore as 
 much as if the stock in trade at the Broadway per- 
 fumery store had been pearls, and gold, and diamonds, 
 instead of perfumes and essences. Her deportment 
 was self-possessed and lady -like, that is, if an expres- 
 sion of tireless watchfulness and unsleeping suspicion 
 are consistent with refined and easy manners. She 
 never took her steel-blue eyes from her visitor's face ; 
 she did not for an instant relax her confident smile ; 
 she did not speak but in the lowest softest tones; but 
 her auditor felt every instant more convinced that 
 the voice was the falsest voice he ever heard, the 
 smile the falsest smile he ever saw, and that the 
 
Madame Clifton. 343 
 
 cold piercing eye alone was true, and that was only 
 true because no art could conceal its calculating 
 glitter. 
 
 If one could imagine a smiling cat, Madame Clifton 
 would resemble that cat more than any one thing in 
 the world. Neat and precise in her outward appear- 
 ance ; not a fold of her garments, not a thread of lace 
 or ribbon, not a hair of her head, but was exactly 
 smooth and orderly, and in its exact place ; not a 
 glance of her eye that was not watchful and suspi- 
 cious ; not a tone or word that was not treacherous 
 in sound ; not a movement of body or of limb that 
 was not soft and stealthy ; her feline resemblances 
 developed themselves more and more every instant, 
 until at last the Individual came to regard her as 
 some kind of dangerous animal in a state of tempo- 
 rary and perfidious repose. And this impression 
 deepened every instant, so much so, that when the 
 small soft hand was laid in his, he almost expected 
 to see the sharp claws unsheathe themselves from the 
 velvet finger-tips and fasten in his flesh. 
 
344 The Witches of New York. 
 
 The language she used, when freed from the tech- 
 nical phrases of her trade, was good enough for every 
 day, and she did not distinguish herself by any spe- 
 cialty of bad English. 
 
 She asked her customer, with her most insinuating 
 smile, if he would have her " run the cards for him," 
 and on receiving an affirmative answer she took the 
 pack of playing cards into her velvet hands, pawed 
 them dexterously over a few times to shuffle them, 
 laid them in three rows with the faces upward, and 
 softly purred the following words : 
 
 " I am uncertain whether to run you a club or a 
 diamond, for I do not exactly see how it is ; but I 
 will run you a club first, and if you find that it does 
 not tell your past history, please to mention the fact 
 to me, and I will then run you a diamond." 
 
 She then proceeded to mention a number of ficti- 
 tious events which she asserted had happened in the 
 past life of her listener, but that individual, who did 
 not find that her revelations agreed with his own 
 knowledge of his former history, tremblingly in- 
 
Madame Clifton. 345 
 
 formed her of that fact; and she then, with a most 
 vicious contraction of the overhanging eyebrows, 
 broke short the thread of her fanciful story, and 
 proceeded to "run him a diamond." 
 
 She evidently was determined to make the diamond 
 come nearer the truth to which end she dexterously 
 strove by a series of very sharp cross-questionings to 
 elicit some circumstance of his early history, on which 
 she might enlarge, or to get some clue to his present 
 circumstances, and hopes, and aspirations, that she 
 might find some peg on which to hang a prediction with 
 an appearance of probability. The Individual with 
 humiliation he confesses it was a bachelor. His heart 
 had proved unsusceptible, and Cupid had hitherto failed 
 to hit him. On this occasion he proved characteris- 
 tically unimpressible ; and the insinuating smile, the 
 inquiring look, and the winning manner, all failed of 
 effect, and he remained pertinaciously non-committal. 
 
 Finding this to be the case, the feline Madame 
 changed her tactics, and, as if to spite her intractable 
 
 customer, began to prophesy innumerable ills and 
 
 15* 
 
346 The Witches of New York. 
 
 evils for him. She apparently strove to mitigate, in 
 some degree, the sting of her predictions by an in- 
 creased softness of manner, which was only a more 
 cat-like demeanor than ever. She spoke as follows 
 the cold eye growing more cruel, and the wicked 
 smile more treacherous every instant. First, however, 
 came this guileful question, which was but a declara- 
 tion of war under a flag of truce : 
 
 "You do not want me to flatter you, do you? 
 You want me to tell you exactly what I see in the 
 cards, do you not ?" The customer stated that he was 
 able to bear at least the recital of his future adversity, 
 even if, when the reality came, he should be utterly 
 smashed ; whereupon she proceeded : 
 
 " I see here a great disappointment ; you will be 
 disappointed in business, and the disappointment will 
 be very bitter and hard to bear but that is not all, 
 nor the worst, by any means. I see a burial it may 
 be only a death of one of your dearest friends, or 
 some near relative, such as your sister, but I see that 
 you yourself are weak in the chest and lungs ; you 
 
Madame Clifton. 347 
 
 are impulsive, proud, ambitious, and quick-tempered, 
 which last quality tends much to aggravate any dis- 
 eases of the chest, and I fear that the burial may be 
 your own. Your disease is serious, you cannot live 
 long, I think I do not think you will live a year 
 in fact, there is the strongest probability that you will 
 die before nine months. I think you will certainly 
 die before nine months, but if you survive, it will 
 only be after a most severe and painful illness, in the 
 course of which you will undergo the extreme of 
 human suffering. I see that you love a light-com- 
 plexioned lady, but her friends object to her marriage 
 with you, and are doing all they can to prevent it. 
 A dark-complexioned man is trying to get her away 
 from you ; you must beware of him or he will do you 
 great injury, for he has both the will and the power ; 
 he has already deceived and injured you, and will do 
 so again even more deeply than he has yet. I see a 
 journey, trouble, and misfortune, grief, sorrow, heavy 
 loss, and heaviness of heart. I again tell you that 
 you will die before nine months ; but if you chance 
 
348 The Witches of New York. 
 
 to survive, it will only be to encounter perpetual 
 crosses and misfortunes. I might, if I was disposed 
 to flatter you and give you false hopes, tell you that 
 you will be lucky, fortunate in business, that you will 
 get the lady, and I might promise you all sorts of 
 good luck, but I don't want to flatter you ; it would 
 be much more agreeable to me to tell yon a good life, 
 for it sometimes pains me more than I can tell you to 
 read bad lives to people, and I feel it very deeply ; 
 but I assure you that I never saw anybody's cards 
 run as badly as do yours I never saw so many losses 
 and crosses, and so much trouble and misfortune in 
 anybody's cards in my whole life even if you outlive 
 the nine months you will have the greatest trouble in 
 getting the lady, and will always have bad luck." 
 
 She then tried by means of the cards to spell out 
 the Inquirer's name, but failed utterly, not getting a 
 single letter right ; then she recommenced and threat- 
 ened him with so much bad luck that he began almost 
 to fear that he would break his leg before he rose 
 from his chair, or would instantly fall down in a fit 
 
Madame Clifton. 349 
 
 and be carried off to die at the Hospital. She told 
 him that his lucky days were the 1st, 5th, 17th, 27th, 
 and 29th of every month. Then perceiving that his 
 feelings were deeply moved by the intractability of 
 the "cruel parients" of the light-complexioned lady, 
 and the black look of things generally, she slightly 
 relented, and went on to say : 
 
 " If you will put your trust in me, and take my 
 advice as a friend, I can sell you something that will 
 surely secure you the lady, and thwart all your ene- 
 mies it is not for my interest that I tell you this, for 
 upon my honor I make only five shillings upon fifty 
 dollars' worth it is no trick, but it is a charm which 
 you must wear about you, and which you must wish 
 over about the girl at stated times, and it will be sure 
 to have the desired effect." 
 
 The customer asked the price of this wonderful 
 charm. 
 
 " It is from five to fifty dollars, but as you are so 
 extraordinarily unlucky I would advise you to take 
 the full charm. It is the Chinese Ruling Planet 
 Charm, and I import it from China at great expense. 
 
35 The Witches of New York. 
 
 You must wear it about you, and every time you use 
 it you must do it in the name of Grod ; so you see 
 there can be no demon about it. By means of this 
 charm I have brought together husbands and wives 
 who have been apart for three years, and I say a wo- 
 man who can do that is doing good, and there is no 
 demon about her. While you wear it you will not 
 die or meet with bad luck, but it will change the 
 whole current of your life." 
 
 She then told her unlucky hearer to make a wish 
 and she would tell him by the cards whether he could 
 have it or not. The answer was in the negative, and 
 it was evident that nothing but the Chinese Ruling 
 Planet Charm would save him, and no less than $50 
 worth of that. So the smiling Madame returned to 
 the charge. " If you will take my advice as a friend, 
 take the charm ; it is for your sake only that I say 
 this, for I make nothing by it but I feel an interest 
 in you, and I wish you would buy the charm for my 
 sake as well as your own, for I want to see its effect 
 on a fortune so bad as yours. If you don't buy it, 
 and all kinds of ill-fortune befalls you, don't say I 
 
Madame Clifton. 351 
 
 didn't warn you, and don't call Madame Clifton a 
 humbug ; but if you do buy it, you may be sure that 
 you will ever bless the day you saw Madame Clifton." 
 
 It is, perhaps, needless to state that the Indivi- 
 dual didn't have with him the fifty dollars to pay 
 for the charm, but intimated that he would call 
 again, after he got his year's salary. 
 
 She then said : "If you happen to call when I am 
 engaged, tell the girl to say that you want to see me 
 about medicine, and I will see you, for I never put 
 off anybody who wants medicine, no matter who is 
 
 with me, say medicine, and I will see you instantly." 
 
 * 
 
 Here she softly showed her visitor to the door, and 
 smiled on him until he stood on the outside steps. 
 He then departed, secretly wondering what kind of 
 " medicine " she was prepared to furnish in case any 
 unlocked for occasion should suggest a second call. 
 Her last remark suggested that Madame Clifton 
 derives a larger profit from the peculiar kinds of 
 "medicine" she deals in, than from all her other 
 witchery. 
 
CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 Details the particulars of a morning call on Madame Harris, 
 of No. 80 West 1 9th Street, and how she covered 
 up her beautiful head in a black bag. 
 

 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 MADAME HARRIS, No. 80 WEST 19 STREET, 
 NEAR SIXTH AVENUE. 
 
 MADAME HARRIS is one of the most ignorant and 
 filthy of all the witches of New York. She does not 
 depend entirely on her " astrology " for her subsist- 
 ence, but relies on it merely to bring in a few dollars 
 in the spare hours not occupied in the practice of the 
 other dirty trades by which she picks up a dishonest 
 living. She has a good many customers, and in one 
 way and another she contrives to get a good deal of 
 money from the gullible public. She has been 
 engaged in business a number of years, and has 
 thriven much better than she probably would, had 
 she been employed in an honester avocation. 
 
 The " Individual " paid her a visit, and carefully 
 
3J6 The Witches of New York. 
 
 noted down all her valuable communications ; he has 
 told the whole story in the words following : 
 
 We all believe in Aladdin, and have as much 
 faith in his uncle as in our own ; but we don't know 
 the pattern of his lamp, we have no photograph of 
 the genii that obeyed it, and we can make no correct 
 computation of the market value of the two hundred 
 slaves with jars of jewels on their heads. The 
 customer, who is determined that posterity shall be 
 able to make no such complaint of him or of his 
 history, here solemnly undertakes, upon the faith 
 of his salary, to relate the unadorned truth, and to 
 indulge in no ad libitum variations imagining, while 
 he writes, that he sees in the distance the critical 
 public, like a many-headed Gradgrind, singing out 
 lustily for " Facts, sir, facts." 
 
 The next fact, then, to be investigated and sworn 
 to, is this Madame Harris, a very dirty female fact 
 indeed, residing in the upper part of the city, and 
 advertising as follows : 
 
 " MADAME HARRIS. This mysterious Lady is a wonder to 
 
Madame Harris. 357 
 
 all her predictions are so true. She can tell all the events 
 of life. Office, No. 80 West 19th-st, near 6th-av. Hours 
 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Ladies 25 cts. ; Gentlemen 50 cts. She 
 causes speedy marriages ; charge extra." 
 
 Wearily the inquirer plodded his way on foot to 
 West 19th Street, fearing to trust himself to a stage 
 or car, lest the careless conversation of the unthink- 
 ing, and the reprehensible jocularity of the little boys 
 who hang about the corners of the streets which 
 intersect the Sixth Avenue, and pelt unwary passen- 
 gers with paving-stones, should divert his mind from 
 the importance and great moral responsibility of his 
 mission. 
 
 After encountering a large assortment of the dan- 
 gers and discomforts incident to pedestrianism in 
 New York in muddy weather, he achieved West 
 19th street, and stood in sight of the mysterious 
 domicile of Madame Harris. 
 
 It is a tenement house, shabby-genteel even in its 
 first pretentious newness ; but it has now lost its for- 
 mer appearance even of semi-respectability, and has 
 
358 The Witches of New York. 
 
 degenerated to a state of dirt only conceivable by 
 those unhappy families who live two in a house, and 
 are in a constant state of pot-and-kettle war, and of 
 mutual refusing to clean out the common hall. 
 
 A little mountain of potato skins, and bones, and 
 other kitchen refuse, round which he was forced to 
 make a detour, plainly said to the traveller that the 
 population of the house No. 80 were in the habit of 
 depositing garbage in the gutters, under cover of the 
 night, and in violation of the city ordinance. A 
 highly-perfumed atmosphere surrounds this delightful 
 abode, for the first floor thereof is occupied as a 
 livery stable, which constantly exhales those sweet 
 and pungent odors peculiar to equine habitations. 
 
 Pulling the sticky bell-handle with as dainty a 
 touch as possible, the Individual was admitted by a 
 slatternly weak-eyed girl of about eighteen, with her 
 hair and dress as tumbled as though she had just 
 been run through a corn-shelling machine, and who 
 
 was so unnecessarily dirty that even her face had not 
 
 i 
 
 been washed. She was further distinguished by a 
 
Madame Harris. 359 
 
 wart on her nose of such shape and dimensions that 
 it gave her face the appearance of being fortified by a 
 many-sided fort, which commanded the whole coun- 
 tenance. 
 
 This interesting young female welcomed her visitor 
 with a clammy " Come in," and led the way up stairs, 
 he following, in due dread of being for ever extin- 
 guished by an avalanche of unwashed keelers and 
 kettles, which were unsteadily piled up on the land- 
 ing, and which an incautious touch would have top- 
 pled over, and deluged the stairs with unknown sweet- 
 smelling compounds, whose legitimate destination 
 was the sewer. On the second floor, directly, judg- 
 ing from the noise, over the stall of the balkiest 
 horse in the stable below, is the room of the 
 Madame. 
 
 The customer took an observation : 
 
 The furnishings of the apartment showed an 
 attempt to keep up a show, which was by far too 
 miserably transparent to hide the slovenliness which 
 peeped out everywhere through the tawdry gilding. 
 
360 The Witches of New York. 
 
 There were so many oil paintings on the walls, in 
 such gaudy frames, that it seemed as if the room had 
 been dipped into a bath of cheap auction pictures, and 
 hadn't been wiped dry, or had been out in a shower 
 of them, and hadn't come in until it had got very 
 wet. A broad gilt window cornice stood leaning in 
 the corner of the room, instead of being in its legiti- 
 mate place ; a pair of lace curtains were wadded up 
 and thrown in a chair, while the windows were 
 covered with the commonest painted muslin shades ; 
 a piano-stool stood in the middle of the room, but 
 there was no piano. 
 
 These were the indications of " better days ;" these 
 were the shallow traps set to inveigle the beholder 
 into a belief in the opulence of the occupants of this 
 charming residence. 
 
 But the little cooking stove, on which two smooth- 
 ing irons were heating, the scraps of different pat- 
 terned carpets which hid the floor, and made it 
 appear as if covered with some kind of variegated 
 woollen chowder, the second-hand, conciliating please- 
 
. Madame Harris. 361 
 
 buj-me look of the three chairs, and the dirt and 
 greasy grime which gave a character to the place, 
 told at once the true state of facts. 
 
 On one side of the room was a little door, evidently 
 communicating with a closet or small bed-room ; on 
 this door was a slip of tin, on which was painted 
 
 Office. Madam Harris, Astrologist. 
 
 and into this " office" the weak-eyed girl disappeared, 
 with a shame-faced look, as if she had tried to steal 
 her visitor's pocket-book, and hadn't succeeded. Pre- 
 sently there came from the closet a sound of half- 
 suppressed merriment, -as if a constant succession of 
 laughs were born there, full grown and boisterous, 
 but were instantly garroted by some unknown power, 
 until each one expired in a kind of choky giggle. 
 There was also a noise of the making of a bed, the 
 hustling of chairs, the putting away of toilet articles 
 
 out of sight, and over all was heard the chiding voice 
 
 16 
 
362 The Witches of New York. 
 
 of Madame Harris, who was evidently dressing her- 
 self, superintending these other various operations, 
 and scolding the weak-eyed maiden all at once. 
 
 At last this latter individual got so far the better 
 of her jocularity that she was able to deport herself 
 with outward seriousness when she emerged from the 
 mysterious closet, and said to the Individual, " Walk 
 in." At this time she was under so great a head of 
 laugh that she would inevitably have exploded, had 
 she not, the instant her visitor turned his back, let go 
 her safety-valve, and relieved herself by a guffaw 
 which would have been an honor and a credit to any 
 one of the horses on the first floor. 
 
 The room in which Madame Harris was waiting to 
 receive her customer was so dark that he stumbled 
 over a chair, and fell across a bed before he could see 
 where he was. Then he recovered himself, and took 
 an observation. 
 
 The room was a very small one so diminutive, 
 indeed, that the bed, which occupied one side of it, 
 reduced the available space more than two-thirds. 
 
Madame Harris. 363 
 
 It was partitioned off from the rest of the room by 
 a dirty patch- work bed-quilt, with more holes than 
 patches. The walls were scrawled over with pencil- 
 marks, evidently drawings made by young children, 
 who had the usual childish notions of proportion and 
 perspective ; and on one side of the wall, near the 
 head of the bed, a bit of pasteboard persisted in this 
 startling announcement 
 
 CasH 
 
 A narrow strip of rag carpet was on the floor; a 
 small stand and a chair completed the furnishing of 
 the room, and a single smoky pewter lamp exhausted 
 itself in a dismal combat with the gloom, which 
 constantly got the better of it. 
 
 When the Cash Inquirer stumbled, and took an 
 involuntary leap into the middle of the bed, an awful 
 voice came out of the dreariness, saying, " There is a 
 chair right there behind you." This information 
 proved to be correct, and the discomfited delegate 
 
364 The Witches of New York. 
 
 subsided into it, and gazed stolidly at the Madame. 
 If Madame Harris were worth as much by the pound 
 as beef, her market-price would be about twenty -five 
 dollars. She was attired in a loose morning-gown, 
 of an exceedingly flashy pattern, open before, disclos- 
 ing a skirt meant to be white, but whose cleanliness 
 was merely traditional. Of her countenance her 
 visitor cannot speak, for it was carefully hidden from 
 his inquiring gaze, and its unknown beauties are left 
 to the imagination of the reader. Perched mysteri- 
 ously on the back of her head, where it was retained 
 by some feminine hocuspocus, which has ever been a 
 sealed mystery to wa/ikind, was a little black bonnet, 
 marvellous in pattern and design ; from this depended 
 a long black veil, covering her countenance, and dis- 
 guising her as effectually as if she had washed her 
 face and put on a clean dress. 
 
 She proceeded at once to business, and opened con- 
 versation with this appropriate remark: "My terms 
 is fifty cents for gentlemen, and the pay is always in 
 advance." 
 
Madame Harris. 365 
 
 Here followed a disbursement on the part of the 
 anxious seeker after knowledge, and an approving 
 chuckle was heard under the veiL 
 
 Taking up a pack of cards so overlaid with dirt 
 that it was a work of time and study to tell a queen 
 from a nine spot, or distinguish the knaves from the 
 aces, she presented them with the imperative remark : 
 " Cut them once." 
 
 Then ensued the following wonderful predictions 
 uttered by a dubious and uncertain voice under the 
 veil which voice seemed one minute to come from 
 the mouth, then it issued from the throat, then it 
 sprawled out of the stomach, then it was heard from 
 the back of the head under the bonnet, and in the 
 course of a few minutes it came from so many places, 
 that the puzzled hearer was dubious as to its exact 
 whereabouts these curious effects being, doubtless, 
 attributable to the thick covering over the face. But 
 its various communications, when gathered together, 
 were found to sum up as follows : 
 
 " You face back misfortune and trouble, of which 
 
366 The Witches of New York. 
 
 you have had much, but they are now behind you, 
 and you have no more to fear. You will henceforth 
 be successful in business, you will have a great deal 
 of money. Your affection card faces up a young 
 woman with dark eyes and dark hair, about twenty- 
 three years old ; she is older than she has led you to 
 believe ; there is a dark-complexioned man whom you 
 will see in two days, who is your enemy ; you may 
 not know it, but you had better beware of him, for 
 he will do you an injury, if he can ; you will see him 
 and speak with him the night of day-after-to-morrow. 
 Your marriage card faces up. this dark woman, as I 
 said before. I don't see a great deal of money layin' 
 round her, but there is plenty of money layin' round 
 you in the future. Somebody will die and leave you 
 money within nine weeks, not counting this week. 
 You was born under the planet Mars, which gives 
 you two lucky d&js in every week Mondays and 
 Thursdays ; anything you begin on those days will 
 surely succeed." 
 
 Here she handed the cards to be cut again, which 
 
Madame Harris. 567 
 
 operation disclosed a new feature in the Individual's 
 matrimonial future, for she went on to say : 
 
 " There is another woman who faces your love- 
 card, who has light hair and light eyes ; she favors 
 your love-card and will be your first wife ; you will 
 have five children four girls and one boy ; look out 
 for the dark-complexioned man, for he favors your 
 first wife, and, though she does not favor him very 
 much, he will try to get her away from you. Your 
 line of life is long ; you will live to be sixty-eight 
 years old, but you will die very suddenly, for your 
 line of death crosses your line of life very suddenly, 
 which always brings sudden death." 
 
 Having given this cheering promise, she again held 
 out the cards to be cut, and said, " Cut them again 
 now, and make a wish at the same time, and I will 
 tell you if you will have your wish." 
 
 When the required ceremony had been solemnly 
 performed, she continued : " You will have your 
 wish, but not right away ; don't expect to get it before 
 week after next, but then you will be sure to have it, 
 
368 The Witches of New York. 
 
 for there is no disappointment in the cards for you." 
 She then informed her customer that she always 
 answered unerringly two questions, which he was now 
 at liberty to propound. He made a couple of inqui- 
 ries relative to his future business prospects, and 
 received in reply the promise of most gratifying results. 
 
 Having then, as he supposed, got his money's 
 worth, he was about to take his leave, when she inter- 
 rupted him thus : 
 
 " I have a charm for securing good luck to whoever 
 wears it; you can wear it, and your most intimate 
 friend would never suspect it ; my charge is one dol- 
 lar for gentlemen ; a great many have bought it of 
 me ; many merchants who were on the point of failing 
 have come to me and possessed this charm, and been 
 saved ; you had better possess it, for it will be sure to 
 bring you good luck; if you possess it, you will 
 always be successful in business ; Mr. Lynch of Mott 
 Street possessed it, and has been very lucky ever 
 since, besides a great number I could name ; my 
 advice to you is, possess the charm." 
 
Madame Harris. 369 
 
 She then put her elbows on her knees after the 
 manner of a Fulton Market apple-pedler, in which 
 classic attitude she awaited an answer. The decision 
 was not favorable to her hopes ; for the economical 
 customer concluded not to invest in the charm, 
 although it had brought such excellent fortune to Mr. 
 Lynch of Mott Street. He departed, encountering 
 again in his progress the weak-eyed one, who met him 
 with a smile, escorted him to the door with a great 
 laugh, and dismissed him with a joyous grin. 
 
 16* 
 
CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 Treats of the peculiarities of several Witches in a single batch. 
 
 
CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 A BATCH OF WITCHES. 
 
 THE fortune-tellers so elaborately described in the 
 foregoing chapters are by no means the only ones in 
 New York, engaged in that lucrative occupation; 
 there are several others who were visited by the 
 Individual, but who in their surroundings approach 
 so nearly to those already set down, that a detailed 
 description of each would necessarily be a somewhat 
 monotonous repetition. So the prophecy only of each 
 one is here writ down, with a few words suggestive 
 of the character of the immediate neighborhood, 
 leaving the imaginative reader to fill up the blank 
 himself, or to turn back to some foregoing chapter for 
 a picture of a similar locality, if he prefers it ready- 
 made to his hands. 
 
374 The Witches of New York. 
 
 MADAME DE BELLINI, No. 159 FORSYTH STREET. 
 
 For the benefit of those not familiar with the 
 streets of New York, it is perhaps well to mention 
 that Forsjth Street is a dirty thoroughfare, two 
 streets east of the Bowery, and that it is filled for the 
 most part with small groceries, junk shops, swill milk 
 dispensaries, and stalls for the sale of diseased vege- 
 tables and decaying fruit, and that the inhabitants are 
 mostly delegates from Africa, and from the Green 
 Isle of the Sea. 
 
 Immediately adjoining the domicil of Madame de 
 Bellini is a filthy little vegetable store, and on the 
 opposite corner is an equally filthy Irish grocery, 
 where are dispensed swill milk and poisoned whiskey. 
 The residence of the Madame is a low two-story 
 brick house, of rather better appearance than many 
 of its neighbors, which are principally wooden build- 
 ings with those old-fashioned peculiar roofs, with little 
 windows close under the cornice, which make a house 
 look as if it had had its hat knocked over its eyes. 
 
A Batch of Witches. 375 
 
 Madame de Bellini is a Dutchwoman of very large 
 dimensions, being a two-hundred-and-fifty-pounder at 
 the lowest estimate. Like most fat women, she is 
 good-natured and smiling. She is apparently 35 
 years old, of pleasant manners, somewhat embar- 
 rassed by the difficulty she has in communicating her 
 ideas in English, and is much neater in person and 
 dress than the majority of ladies in the same line of 
 business. She would be a popular bar-maid at a 
 lager-bier saloon, and would preside over the fortunes 
 of the sausage and Swiss cheese table, with eminent 
 success, and satisfaction to the public. 
 
 She welcomed the Cash Customer in a jolly 
 sort of way, introduced him to her private apart- 
 ment, and seated him on a chair at one side of a 
 little table, while she bestowed herself on a stool 
 opposite. 
 
 Having ascertained that he did not speak jjrerman 
 with sufficient fluency to carry on an animated con- 
 versation in that tongue, or to comprehend a rapidly 
 spoken discourse delivered therein, she was compelled 
 
 OF THE 
 
376 The Witches of New York. 
 
 to ventilate her English, which she did, beginning as 
 follows : 
 
 "I speak not vera mooch goot English I speak 
 German and French, but no goot English." 
 
 The Individual, with his usual caution, inquired 
 how much she proposed to charge for her services. 
 She responded thus : 
 
 {i I tell your fortoon fier ein tollar, or I can tell your 
 fortoon fier ein half-tollar." 
 
 Fifty cents' worth was enough to begin with, so she 
 took his left hand in her huge fist, and as a prelimi- 
 nary operation squeezed it till he gave it up for lost, 
 and in the intervals of his suffering hastily ran over 
 in his mind the various ways in which one-handed 
 people get a living ; then she relented and did not 
 deprive him of that useful member, but said : 
 
 "You have goot hand, vera goot hand your hand 
 gifs you goot fortoon. You was born under goot 
 blanet, vera nice blanet, you have vera nice fortoon. 
 You have mooch rich, vera great monish ; you haf 
 seen drubbles, (trouble) vera mooch drubbles more 
 
A Batch of Witches. 377 
 
 drabbles you haf seen, as you will see some more 
 dat is, you shall not have so many drub'bles py and py 
 as you haf had long ago, for you haf goot Dianet. 
 You will journeys make mooch in footoor (future) 
 years. You will have two wifes and mooch kindes 
 (children) in der footoor years, and you will be vera 
 mooch happy und bleasant mit der wife vot you shall 
 have der first dime, but not so mooch happy und 
 bleasant mit der wife vot you shall have der two time, 
 but you shall vera mooch monish have in der fortoor 
 years." 
 
 She then released the hand of her visitor, who was 
 very glad to get it back again, and took up a pack of 
 cards, which she manipulated in the customary style, 
 and then said : 
 
 " Your carts run vera nice; you have goot carts ; 
 here is a shentleman's as ish vera goot to you, he is 
 great friends mit you : here is a letter vot you shall 
 be come to you right avays vera soon it ish goot 
 news to you ; you must do joost vot das letter says. 
 Here ish a brown girls vot lofs (loves) you vera 
 
378 The Witches of New York. 
 
 mooch, but you do not lofs dat girls, so much as das 
 girls lofs you you will not be der vife of das girl, 
 for there is anunther girls vot you lofs bretty bad und 
 you will marry her ; she is bretty goot girls und you 
 will be happy, you will hof lots of kindes mit das 
 girls. Das girls haf a man now vos lof her vera 
 mooch he is was you call das soldier ; he lofs her 
 mooch but he shall not hof her, you shall hof das 
 girls. Here is great man was will be good friend to 
 you ; he ish vera great man, a big king ; not vas you 
 call der konig, but your big mans, your, vos is 
 das, your bresident de bresident bees goot friends 
 mit you here is dark mans, he ish no goot friend 
 mit you, und you must keep away from das dark 
 
 mans." 
 
 This was all the information she appeared to derive 
 from this pack, which were ordinary playing cards, so 
 she laid them aside and took up the regular fortune- 
 telling cards, which are covered with various mysteri- 
 ous devices. These did not seem to communicate 
 anything of very special importance in addition to 
 
A Batch of Witches. 379 
 
 what she had already said, for she examined them 
 closely and then merely summed up as follows : 
 
 " Goot fortoon, goot blanet, goot vifes, blenty 
 monish, mooch kindes, not more troubles in der 
 footoor years, big friends, bresident mooch friends 
 mit you, lif long, ninety-nine years before you die, 
 leave fortoon to vife und two kindes." 
 
 The Individual was curious to inquire wherein 
 the fifty -cent dose he had received, differed from the 
 fortunes for which she charged " ein tollar," and he 
 received the following information : 
 
 " For ein tollar I gifs you a charm as you vears on 
 your necks, und it gifs you goot luck for ever, und 
 you never gets drownded, und you lifs long viles, 
 und you bees rich und vera mooch happy." 
 
 The Madame was also good-natured enough to ex- 
 hibit one of these powerful charms to her customer. 
 It was a piece of parchment, originally about four 
 inches square, but which had been scalloped on the 
 edges, and otherwise cut and carved ; on it were in- 
 scribed in German, several cabalistic words ; this 
 
380 The Witches of New York. 
 
 potent document was to be always worn next the 
 heart. 
 
 Madame de Bellini has been in New York but a 
 year or two ; she speaks French and German, and is 
 taking lessons in English from an American lady. 
 She has many customers, mostly German, and, as in 
 the case of all the other witches, the greatest majority 
 of her visitors are women. 
 
 MADAME LEBOND, No. 175 HUDSON STREET. 
 
 The house in which this woman was sojourning at 
 the time of the visit hereinafter described, is a board- 
 ing-house, and the room of the Madame is the back 
 parlor on the second floor. 
 
 The Individual was received at the door by a 
 short, greasy, dirty man, about forty years of age, 
 who invited him into the front parlor, to wait until 
 the Madame was disengaged. This man, who is an 
 ignorant, half-imbecile person, passes for the husband 
 of the fortune teller, and is known as Doctor Lebond. 
 He is a man of peculiar appearance ; the top of his 
 
A Batch of Witches. 381 
 
 head is perfectly bald, and the fringe of hair about 
 the lower part of it, is twisted into long corkscrew 
 ringlets, that fall low down on his shoulders. 
 
 He informed the customer that the Madame was 
 then engaged, but he seemed undecided about the 
 exact nature of her present employment. He first 
 said she was " tellin' the futur for a young gal ;" then 
 she was "engaged with a literary man;" then "a dry- 
 goods merchant wanted to find out if his head clerk 
 didn't drink ;" but finally he said that " Madame L. 
 is a eatin' of her dinner." After some ingenious 
 drawing-out, the Doctor vouchsafed the subjoined 
 statement of his business prospects. 
 
 " We seen the time when we hadn't fifteen minutes 
 a day, on account of young gals a comin' for to have 
 their fortune told ; we used to be busy from mornin 7 
 till ten and 'levin o'clock at night a-tellin' fortunes 
 an' a doctorin' but now, we don't do so much 'cause 
 the young gals don't like to come to a boardin' -house 
 where young men can see 'em, 'specially in the even- 
 in'. We's too public here ; the young men a-boardin' 
 
382 The Witches of New York. 
 
 here likes for to have the young gals come, they likes 
 for to see 'em in the parlor, but the young gals won't 
 come so much, 'cause we's too public. We'll have for 
 to get another house on account of business. 
 
 " I don't get so much doctorin' to do as I used to, 
 'cause we's too public. I have doctored lots of folks, 
 principally young' fellers and young gals, and I can 
 do it right. If you ever get into any trouble you'll 
 find me and my wife all right ; you can come to us 
 we mean to be all right, and to give everybody the 
 worth of their money, and we is all right." 
 
 By this time, Madame Lebond had finished her din- 
 ner, and was waiting in the back parlor. She is a 
 fat, slovenly -looking woman, forty years old or more, 
 having no teeth, and taking prodigious quantities of 
 snuff, which gives her enunciation some peculiar cha- 
 racteristics. 
 
 When the Individual first beheld her, she was 
 standing in the middle of the floor, picking her teeth. 
 She requested her visitor to take a seat, and to pay 
 her half-a-dollar, with both of which requests he com- 
 
A Batch of Witches. 383 
 
 plied. She then put into his hand the end of a brass 
 tube about an inch in diameter and a foot long, and said: 
 " Give be the tibe of your birth as dear as possible." 
 
 This was done, and the following brief dialogue 
 ensued : 
 
 " Was you bord id the bording ?" 
 
 " I really don't remember." 
 
 " Do you have beddy dreabs?" 
 
 " I do not dream much." 
 
 " Thed you dod't have bad dreabs ?" 
 
 "No." 
 
 "Thed you was bord id the bording," by which 
 mysterious word she probably meant, "morning." 
 She then continued : 
 
 " You are a pretty keed sbart chap sharp id busi- 
 dess, but dot good id speculatiods, ad you should 
 codfide your attedtiods to busidess. If you keep od 
 as you are goidg dow, ad works hard, ad dod't bix id 
 bad cobpady, ad is hodest, ad dod't spend your buddy, 
 you will be rich. You will travel buch you have 
 travelled buch, but your travels is hardly begud; 
 
384 The Witches of New York. 
 
 there is a lodg jourdey at sea dow before you, ad you 
 will start od this jourdey host udexpectedly ; you 
 will always be lucky, ad will be very rich. I dod't 
 say dothin' to flatter do wud ; lots of fellers ad gals 
 cub here ad I tell theb all jest what I see ; if I see 
 bad luck I tell theb so ; but yours is all good luck, 
 ad I see lots of it for you. You have had bad luck 
 lately, but you will get over your bad luck for you 
 are a pretty sbardt chap, ad have got a good deal of 
 abbitiod, ad you go ahead pretty well. You will 
 barry a gal a gal as you have seed but dod't know. 
 Very well, she is a youdg gal, ad a rich gal, ad a good- 
 lookidg gal; you will dot barry her for sobe tibe, 
 but you will barry her at last. She has a beau ad 
 you will likely have sobe trouble with hib, but you 
 will get the gal at last. The gal has light hair ad 
 blue eyes, ad I cad show her to you if you would 
 like to see her." 
 
 Of course the visitor liked to see her ; so he 
 was directed to clasp the brass tube in his right 
 hand, and place his hand over the top. Then she 
 
A Batch of Witches. 385 
 
 stepped behind his chair and began to go through 
 with some extraordinary manual exercises on his 
 head. She felt of the bumps, she squeezed his head, 
 punched it, jerked it from side to side, and twisted 
 it about in every possible direction. "What was the 
 object and intention of this performance she did not 
 disclose, but when she had kneaded his unfortunate 
 skull to her satisfaction, she bade him step to the 
 window and look into the tube. 
 
 This he did, and he saw a very dingy-looking 
 daguerreotype of a fair-haired damsel with blue eyes, 
 who bore, of course, not the most distant resemblance 
 to any lady of his acquaintance. 
 
 Then the fat Madame had a charm to sell, to be 
 worn about the neck, and never taken off, in which case 
 it would secure for the wearer " good luck " for ever. 
 
 The Individual declined to purchase and de- 
 parted, meeting at the door the curly Doctor, who 
 once again offered his medical services in case the 
 stranger ever got into " trouble," and who once again 
 
 assured that person with an air of mystery that " me 
 
 17 
 
386 The Witches of New York. 
 
 and my wife is all right yes, you may depend, we 
 is all right, we is." 
 
 MADAME MAR, AND MADAME DE GORE, No. 176 
 VARICK STREET. 
 
 These two eminent sorceresses are in partnership, 
 and drive a tolerably fair trade. They advertise in 
 the papers, one week the heading being " Madame 
 Mar, assisted by Madame de Gore," and the next week, 
 it will be " Madame de Gore, assisted by Madame 
 Mar," and the profits of the business are shared in the 
 same impartial manner. 
 
 The house, No. 176, is in the worst part of Yarick 
 Street, and the room occupied by the pair of witches 
 is over a boot and shoe store, and a pawnbroker's 
 shop is directly opposite. 
 
 The room is a small parlor, neatly though plainly 
 furnished, and with no professional implements visible. 
 When the inquirer made his call, Madame de Gore 
 was engaged in the kitchen, in her various household 
 
A Batch of Witches. 387 
 
 duties, and Madame Mar attended to his call. She is 
 a tall and rather pleasing woman, neatly dressed and 
 of quiet manners. 
 
 She secured a dollar in advance, and then led her 
 customer into a little closet-like room, furnished only 
 with a small table and two chairs. She then 
 announced that she is a " phrenologist," and exhibited 
 a plaster bust with the " bumps " scientifically marked 
 out, and also some phrenological charts and other 
 publications. She proceeded to give the character of 
 her visitor in the usual mode of phrenological exami- 
 nations, after which she prophesied as follows : 
 
 " You were born between Jupiter and Mars, with 
 such stars you can never be unlucky, for although you 
 have seen trouble, it is past. Your luck runs in 
 threes and fives that is, you are unlucky three years 
 in succession, and lucky the five years following. 
 You are never very unlucky, but you do not do so 
 well in your third house as in your fifth house. You 
 could not be unlucky in your fifth house if you tried. 
 You have now two months to run in your third 
 
388 The Witches of New York. 
 
 house, then comes on your fifth house. Just now 
 your life seems to be under a cloud, but after two 
 months you will come out bright and will enjoy five 
 years of clear sunshine, and you will then be very 
 wealthy. You will have more money then than you 
 ever will again, though you will always have plenty. 
 Your wealth runs 14 at the end of five years ; after 
 that runs 13 , which is very wealthy. You will 
 marry a young girl, wealthy and beautiful. You will 
 raise two daughters, but you will never have a large 
 iamily. You will be the father of many children, but 
 your family will never be more than two children. 
 You will go in business with a very wealthy Southern 
 man, his wealth runs 14 he has two sons and a 
 daughter. You will marry the daughter, though you 
 will be opposed by the father and one son, but the 
 other son will stick by you. You will live with that 
 wife twenty-five years, then she will die and you will 
 travel with your two daughters. You will go to 
 Europe. In England you will marry a French 
 widow. Your two daughters will marry well, and at 
 
A Batch of Witches. 389 
 
 72 or 73 years old you will die, leaving a widow, two 
 daughters, and a large fortune." 
 
 Madame de Gore did not make her appearance at 
 all, and after Madame Mar had failed to induce her 
 visitor to pay her an extra dollar for a phrenological 
 chart, she politely showed him out. 
 
 MADAME LANE, No. 159 MULBERRY STREET. 
 
 This distinguished lady lives in a dirty, dilapidated 
 mansion, at the corner of Grand and Mulberry Streets. 
 The Cash Customer was admitted by the Madame 
 herself, who desired him to be seated for a few 
 minutes, until she had concluded her business with a 
 boy of about 17 years old, who had called to find out 
 what would be the winning numbers in the next 
 Georgia lottery. Two dirty -faced children were play- 
 ing about the room, making a great noise. 
 
 One corner of the room was fenced off with rough 
 boards, forming a narrow closet, in which two people 
 could, with some difficulty, sit down. This was the 
 
39 The Witches of New York. 
 
 astrological chamber ; the mystic room into which 
 visitors were conducted to have their fortunes told. 
 
 Madame Lane is of the Irish breed ; is red-haired, 
 freckled, and dirty to a degree. Her dress was 
 ragged, showing a soiled, dingy petticoat through 
 the rents. 
 
 She seated her customer in the little room, pro- 
 duced a pack of cards, and proceeded to tell his 
 future, at times shouting out threats and words of 
 warning to the noisy brats outside. Then she said, 
 
 " You are a man as has seen a great deal of trouble 
 in the past." 
 
 It will be noticed that this is almost a universal 
 remark with the witches, probably because it is a 
 perfectly safe thing to assert of any person in the 
 world. 
 
 " Yes, you have seen trouble in the past, not real 
 trouble, such as sickness, or losses in business, but 
 still, trouble, and your mind has been going this way 
 and that way and t'other way, but now all your 
 trouble and disappointment is past, and your mind 
 
A Batch of Witches. 391 
 
 wont go this way and that way any more. Stop that 
 noise you brats or I'll beat you." (This to the chil- 
 dren.) 
 
 " Your cards run lucky, 'cause you were born under 
 Jupiter, and folks as is borned under Jupiter will 
 always be lucky in business, in love, and in every- 
 thing they undertake. If your business sometimes 
 goes this way, and that way, and t'other way, it will 
 all come out right, for when a man is borned under 
 Jupiter he must be all right in his business, and in 
 his love, and in his marriage, and in his children. 
 Young ones stop that noise or I'll beat you black and 
 blue. You have had sickness lately and your mind 
 has been going this way, and that way, and t'other 
 way, but you need not worry for it will be all right 
 soon. Children stop that row or clear right out to 
 the kitchen. Now mind. I tell you. I see a girl 
 here that loves you very much, but you don't love 
 her and won't marry her, but you will marry another 
 girl with black whiskers ; no, I mean the feller that 
 is coortin' her has got black whiskers, and I fear you 
 
392 The Witches of New York. 
 
 will have trouble with black whiskers if you are not 
 careful the girl has got black hair and is miserable 
 because you don't write to her. I'm coming after 
 you, young ones there, with a raw hide and I'll cut 
 the skin off your backs. You will marry this gal 
 and you will be very happy, and will have three 
 children, which will be joys to you. Children, I'll 
 come and kill you in two minutes. And you will 
 always be prosperous in your business, and you will 
 be very rich, and you will live to be eighty-five 
 years old. Now you can cut the cards and make a 
 wish and I will tell you if it will come true. Yes, 
 your wish will come true, because you have cut the 
 knave, and queen, and king if you'd like a speedy 
 marriage with the gal I told you of, I'll fix it for you 
 for fifty cents extra ; children if you don't shut up 
 I'll come and beat you blind." 
 
 The Individual invested a half-dollar as requested, 
 and received in return a white powder with these 
 instructions ; 
 
 " You will burn that powder just before you get 
 
 ' 
 
A Batch of Witches. 393 
 
 into bed, and if you see the gal to-nigkt you won't 
 see no change in her, but she will be changed to-mor- 
 row. She is kinder down on you now, but she 
 loves you though her mind is kinder this way and 
 that way, but she will be changed toward you to- 
 night by what I will do after you are gone." 
 
 The customer departed, leaving this fond mother 
 engaged in an active skirmish with the two children, 
 both of whom finally escaped into the street with 
 great howlings. 
 
 Madame Lane does a good business. She says 
 that in pleasant weather she has from twenty-five to 
 fifty calls a-day, mostly women ; but in bad weather 
 not more than fifteen or twenty, and these of the other 
 sex. Many of these come only to learn lucky numbers 
 for lottery gambling, and policy playing. 
 
 17* 
 
CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 Conclusion. 
 
CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 IT lias been already mentioned that there are a num- 
 ber of persons in the city who do more or less in the 
 fortune-telling way, who never advertise for custom- 
 ers. These we must leave to their own seclusion ; 
 as our business has been with those who make a 
 business of this species of swindling, and who use all 
 manner of arts to entice the curious, or the credulous, 
 into their dens, there not only robbing them of their 
 money, bat often putting them in the way to be in- 
 jured much more deeply. This, of course, is espe- 
 cially the case with young girls. 
 
 In carder to give the readers of this book an idea of 
 the part taken by these fortune-telling women in 
 many of the terrible dramas of crime constantly enact- 
 
398 The Witches of New York. 
 
 ing in city life, an extract showing the modus ope- 
 randi is here inserted. It is from one of a series of 
 very useful little books published in this city, and 
 entitled, " Tricks and Traps of New York." 
 
 Speaking of New York fortune-tellers, the author 
 says, having previously indulged in some severe re- 
 marks about " yellow-covered" novels : 
 
 " To see how the fortune-teller performs her part, 
 let us suppose a case : 
 
 " A young, credulous girl, whose mind has been 
 poisoned by the class of fictions above referred to, is 
 induced to visit a modern witch, for the purpose of 
 having her ' fortune told. 7 The woman is very 
 shrewd, and perceives, in a moment, the kind of cus- 
 tomer she has to deal with. Understanding her busi- 
 ness well, she is perfectly aware that love and mar- 
 riage courtship, lovers, and wedded bliss are the 
 subjects which are most agreeable. 
 
 " She begins by complimenting her customer : ' such 
 beautiful eyes, such elegant hair, such a charming 
 
Conclusion. 399 
 
 form, and graceful manners, are altogether too fine 
 for a servant or working girl.' She must surely be 
 intended for a higher station in life, and she will cer- 
 tainly attain it. She will rise in the world, by mar- 
 riage, and will one day be one of the finest ladies in 
 the land. Her husband will be the handsomest man 
 she has ever seen, and her children will be the most 
 beautiful in the world. Fortune-tellers always foretell 
 many children to their female customers ; for the in- 
 stinct of maternity, the yearning desire for offspring, 
 is one of the strongest feelings of human nature. 
 
 " Much more of this sort is said ; and if the witch 
 finds her talk eagerly listened to, she knows exactly 
 how to proceed. She appoints days for other visits ; 
 for she desires to get as many half-dollars out of her 
 dupe as she can. Meantime, the girl has been think- 
 ing of what she has heard, has pictured to herself a 
 brilliant future a rich husband every luxury and 
 enjoyment and, upon the whole, has built so many 
 castles in the air, that her brain is half-bewildered. 
 Even though she may not believe a tittle of what is 
 
400 The Witches of New York. 
 
 
 
 said to her, feminine curiosity will generally lead her 
 to make a second visit ; and when the fortune-teller 
 sees her come upon a like errand a second time, she 
 sets down her prey as tolerably sure and lays her 
 plans accordingly. 
 
 " She goes on to state to the girl, in her usual rigma- 
 role style, that she will, in a few weeks, meet with a 
 lover ; and perhaps she may receive a present of 
 jewelry; and by that she will know that the 'hand- 
 some young man ' has seen, and been smitten by her 
 many charms. 
 
 "When the half-believing girl has gone, the schem- 
 ing sorceress calls to her aid her confederate in the 
 game the party who is to personate ' the handsome 
 young man.' This is usually a spruce-looking fel- 
 low, who makes this particular kind of work his 
 regular business ; or it may be some rich debauchee, 
 who is seeking another victim, will come and lie in 
 wait, either behind the curtain or in the next room, 
 where, through some well-contrived crevice, he can 
 see and hear all that is going on. One or the other 
 
Conclusion. 401 
 
 of these men it is that is to assist the witch in fulfil- 
 ling her prophecies ; who is, at the proper time, to 
 be in the way to personate the ( young beau,' or 
 ' rich southerner,' and to induce her to visit a house 
 of assignation, or, in some way, accomplish her ruin. 
 " Persons who have been puzzled to know how 
 many of the young fellows get their living who are 
 seen about town, always well dressed, and with 
 plenty of cash, and yet having no apparently respect- 
 able means of living, will find a future solution 
 of their questions in this explanation. Many of 
 these men are 'kept' by their mistresses, or by 
 the proprietors of houses of ill-fame ; in the latter 
 case, to make acquaintance with strangers, and to 
 bring business to those houses. They are often very 
 fine-looking and well-appearing men, and possessed 
 of good natural abilities ; but, from laziness or crime, 
 or some other cause, adopt the meanest possible busi- 
 ness a man can stoop to. Humiliating as this may 
 seem, and degrading as it is to poor human nature, 
 what we state is, nevertheless, the literal truth. 
 
402 The Witches 6*f New York. 
 
 " But, to come back to our supposed case. A few 
 days after her visit to the witch, the girl actually 
 does, perhaps, receive a present, as the witch pre- 
 dicted ; this not only pleases her vanity and love of 
 admiration, but disposes her to put confidence in the 
 powers of the fortune-teller to read coming events. 
 Straightway the deluded girl goes again to the witch, 
 to tell how things have fallen out, as she foretold, 
 and to seek further light upon the subject. It is now 
 the cue of the prophetess to describe the young man. 
 This she does in glowing terms; never failing to 
 endow him with a large fortune ; and the poor girl 
 goes away with her head more turned than ever." 
 
 ######## 
 
 " Enraptured with a description, or sight of the 
 picture of her fond love, the deluded girl is now all 
 anxiety to see him in person. The witch accordingly 
 gives her some magical powder (price one dollar), 
 which she is to put under her pillow every night for 
 seven nights, or wear next her heart for nine days, or 
 some other nonsense of that kind, at the end of 
 
Conclusion. 403 
 
 which, time, she is told to take the ferry-boat to 
 Hoboken or some such place, at a certain hour in the 
 afternoon, and somewhere on her route she will have 
 a sight of the gentleman she is almost crazed to see. 
 The result is plain, the ' gentleman ' is there as 
 foretold, an acquaintance is commenced, and the girl 
 is ultimately ruined. 
 
 "We have been thus particular to give, step by 
 step, the details of the mode of management pursued 
 in these cases. There are, of course, many varieties, 
 dictated by the circumstances of each case, but the 
 general features and the result, are the same. 
 
 " The incidents above given are the outlines of a 
 real case in which the end of the conspirators was 
 accomplished ; the girl, however, was rescued by the 
 Managers of the Magdalen Asylum, and is now lead- 
 ing a blameless life." 
 
 The " Individual " has now concluded his labors, 
 and he hopes not without profit to the community at 
 large. 
 
 He has heard it urged that this book will merely 
 
404 The Witches of New York. 
 
 advertise the fortune-tellers, and that they will go on 
 driving a more flourishing trade than ever. He can- 
 not think that this will be the case ; he cannot believe 
 that any persons who read in this book the candid 
 exposition of the style of necromancy dealt out by 
 the modern Circes, will be willing to pay money for 
 any personal experience of them, and he respectfully 
 submits that although they have heretofore been con- 
 sulted by many ladies of respectability, from motives 
 of mere curiosity, those ladies will risk no further 
 visits when they learn that they may with as much 
 propriety visit any other assignation house, as a 
 fortune-teller's den. 
 
 A recapitulation of the various prophecies made to 
 the Cash Customer would show that he has been 
 promised thirty-three wives, and something over 
 ninety children that he was brought into the world 
 on various occasions between 1820 and 1833 that 
 he was born under nearly all the planets known to 
 astronomers that he has more birth-places than he 
 has fingers and toes that he has passed through so 
 
Conclusion. 405 
 
 many scenes of unexpected happiness and complicated 
 misfortune in his past life, that he must have lived 
 fifty hours to the day and been wide awake all the 
 time and he has so many future fortunes marked 
 out for him that at three hundred and fifty years old 
 his work will not be half done, and when at last all 
 is finally accomplished, a minute dissection of his 
 aged corpus will be necessary, that his earthly 
 remains may be buried in all the places set down 
 for him by these prophets. 
 
 But aside from a humorous contemplation of the 
 subjects, he trusts he has done his work well ; he is 
 sure he has done it faithfully, and he honestly hopes 
 that some good may. come of his labors to write 
 down here honestly the ignorance and imbecility of 
 The Witches of New York. 
 
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