I S^v ^i, ^" >t TT f : (WIT. OF CALIF. LIBRAS* , LOS AHGIU58 'C.OOD-BY, LITTLE GIRL," HE SAID. "GOOD-BY," i WHISPERED. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE BY MARGARET BELLE HOUSTON ILLUSTRATED BY F. GRAHAM COOTES New York THE H. K. FLY COMPANY Publishers Copyright. 19U, by THE H. K. FLY COMPANY Copyright. 19U, by THE McCLURE PUBLICATIONS, IK. TO ALL WHO SEEK THE GOLDEN KEY ILLUSTRATIONS "Good-by, little girl," he said. " Good-by," I whispered,. Frontispiece " I don't hate you at all " * With a swift movement of the arm he thrust my pursuer from me 68 From the conservatory floated the Mexican waltz, dreamy, tender and soft . ...... 133 The Little Straw Wife TTT was just last night! J_ I laid my bridal bouquet on the chair and sat down on it. Then I kicked my wedding slippers off. They landed under the dressing table, huddled sideways, as if afraid of what I meant to do next. I didn't know, myself. I knew, only, what I wasn't going to do, and that was leave home with that man. We were married. There wasn't any doubt of that. We had been married an hour, and it had taken a dean and a bishop to put the nice new chain around us and snap the padlock. Aunt Emmeline had given me away I could still feel her push of relinquish- ment and we had ridden home together and stood under an arch of roses and smilax, and received any amount of felicitations. The presents were ar- ranged in the library such a glitter of silver and glass and gold ! my trunks were packed and wait- 2 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE ing, and I had been sent upstairs to change my dress and make ready for the steamer which should carry me away to Italy for three months with Mr. Holt. The bride's maids were standing now at the foot of the stair, waiting for me to throw down my bouquet that the destined next-bride might catch it. But I had sat on it, instead. Suddenly I rose and, stealing across the floor in my stockinged feet, I drew the bolt of the door. Then I turned to the mirror and began to loose the veil from my hair. There were a million pins in it. Katy had fastened it to my head as securely as the bishop had fastened me to Mr. Holt. But it was coming off. And it did. I dropped it in a heap on top of the pressed bouquet, and began to tug at the gown. There was a faint tap at the door. " It's only me, Miss Ballentyne," came the voice of Katy. " Mrs. Morse says I'm to unfasten you." " Thank you ! " I called back. " I don't need any help." And I didn't, thanks to the few simple fastenings. Then I put on a quilted pink kimono everything else was packed and let down my hair. It was a heavenly relief, and I didn't feel married at all. I had just sunk into the big wing chair when there came a dreadful knock at the door. It wasn't a loud knock and it wasn't long. It was merely em- phatic, and suggested sharp firm knuckles Aunt Emmeline's knuckles. "Well?" I gasped. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 3 " I think, Zoe, that you have taken long enough. Let me in, please." " I can't let you in, Aunt Emmeline," I answered, sinking as far into the chair as possible. " I'm not dressed." The door knob turned. " Will you tell me why you have this door locked? " she enquired. I didn't answer. I left it to her imagination. " Open it at once ! " she demanded. " Mr. Holt is waiting, and I intend to see that you get dressed." Then I stood up very straight. It was the cour- age of desperation. " I am not going to open that door," I said, " until Mr. Holt is out of this house and gone." I heard something like a gasp. Then there came two or three unintelligible remarks from mingled voices. Evidently, Aunt Emmeline was not alone. " Zoe," she began sternly, yet the least bit uncer- tainly, " open this door, or I shall have Max come and force the lock." Max was the chauffeur, and he was a very forcible looking person. " If Max intrudes on my deshabille" I replied, " I shall resent it in the proper manner." I didn't know what that was, but I began to look about for an object redoubtable enough to make an impression on an im- pending chauffeur. I had just decided on the tennis racquet when Aunt Emmeline gave some instruction in a low voice and I heard the sound of retreating 4 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE footsteps. Then she said in a very soft and earnest tone, " Let me in, Zoe, I have something very im- portant to say to you." It occurred to me then that I had something very important to say to Aunt Emmeline. So I pulled on some slippers not the bridal ones and, going to the door, unlocked and opened it. Aunt Emmeline came in. She is like a needle, Aunt Emmeline, trim and slim and sharp. Her black eyes seemed to prick me for an instant, then darted about the room. But she made no comment on the evidence of cataclysm except to say, " I'll keep your wedding gown here until you come back. You won't need it." " No, Aunt Emmeline," I said. " And, wherever I go, it will not be with Mr. Holt." " Have you lost your mind ? " whispered Aunt Emmeline. And then, as I made no answer, she came very close and, with something almost threatening, yet frightened, too, in her eyes, she said, " What's the matter with you, Zoe? " And you wouldn't wonder at her amazement if you knew how meek I had always been with Aunt Emme- line, how tractable and obedient, as everyone else about her was. Indeed, if they weren't they went somewhere else very speedily. " What's got into you ? " she asked. " Aunt Emmeline, answer me this ! " I cried. JHE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 5 " Why couldn't you have played square? Why, when Mr. Holt started coming here before we had even been together alone, before he had really shown any interest at all why did you ask him his inten- tions regarding me ? " " Who says I did ? " asked Aunt Emmeline. " I heard two women discussing it just now. They were directly behind me as I stood waiting to go up- stairs. They didn't know I was there. And that's not the worst. You told him he'd compromised me by coming so often that he'd kept other men away and he hadn't. He'd hardly been here at all ! And you told him about the two years you'd given me to marry in that he had hung on until they were nearly up, and that at the end of them you meant to wash your hands of me. You told him ! You fairly thrust me into his hands. He had to marry me or feel he'd played the cad. How could you? " I stopped through actual lack of breath. Aunt Emmeline answered with dignity. " This is no time to discuss that. I had every right to know the man's intentions. I wanted no more of your toying with your opportunities and my time. I asked him frankly and he proposed for your hand. If these women wish to criticise Who were they ? " " I don't know," I fibbed. " But so far as that goes, they fully approved of your methods. They said it should be done oftener in America. But 6 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE but Oh, Aunt Emmeline, have you done this with all with all the men who have asked to marry me?" " I have not," said Aunt Emmeline. " If you had not refused all the decent offers I had contrived to get for you, I should not have been driven to it in this instance." " Then you have contrived? " " Well I do not think my maneuvers were ever suspected by them. It was your own dilatory be- havior that forced me into so blunt a measure. I had saved him until the last there were others, of course, whom I preferred to Mr. Holt but I knew that you would marry him if he ever proposed. And, so far " " You knew? " I whispered. " How? " " I am not blind as yet." "Not blind? But I have I have scarcely seen him." " You looked at him, however, when you did see him. And, as I say " A sudden horrible thought seized me. " Aunt Emmeline," I said, "did you tell Mr. Holt I loved him ? Did you use that " " Well," answered Aunt Emmeline, looking past me, " if I did Anyhow, you are married to him now. What difference " " All the difference in the world ! " I cried, charged THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 7 suddenly with the strength of ten. " I shall not go one step further. Not one." Aunt Emmeline sat down. "Not * Not But you must! What will you do ? " " I don't know. I shall decide." " But I shall be disgraced actually ! I who have held my head up always. I shall be made a laughing stock and by you ! " " I am sorry," I said. And indeed I was, for after all " But think what you'd throw away ! " She was beating her clinched fist against the arm of the chair a way she had when baffled or disturbed. " He's not old. He's not fat. You've always picked some silly flaw like that with the partis I've found for you. He's a gentleman anybody can see that He's rich not so rich as some but still And he made his money himself that is, the most of it. Look at his family, how well " I knew Mr. Holt's advantages were numerous and would take her some time to catalogue, so I began to cast about in my mind for just what I did mean to do, that I might enlighten her at the close of her inventory. The list was exhausted, however, before I had settled on anything, and she cried again, " Look ! Look what you'd throw away ! " " I know. But I can't measure up to such quali- 8 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE fications as those. Mr. Holt has everything is everything. While I am nothing, it appears, but a penalty which he has incurred by paying a few calls at your house." " What in the world those women meant " broke forth Aunt Emmeline. " If I knew who they were In the first place your reason for revolt is ridiculous absolutely. In the second place, as I said a min- ute ago, you are married to the man and any objec- tion would be too late. I intend " There was the sudden honking of an auto horn. [Aunt Emmeline started violently and rose. And now I noticed that through all the house there reigned an utter stillness. The retreating footsteps had apparently carried news of the mutiny above. " Come ! " said Aunt Emmeline, as if she had no more time to lose and expected immediate compli- ance. " Get ready at once." I looked in her eyes. " I won't," I said. It was the first time in all my life. She grasped my shoulder in her sharp hand, tear- ing the silk away. " You are married to this man," she repeated. " You will go." " If I am married to him," I answered, " then he and not you shall say what I am to do." My old fear of Aunt Emmeline was reviving, but I would take my chances with Mr. Holt. " Go ask my husband," I said, " if I am to go with him when I don't want to." THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 9 She looked at me a moment longer, then she went to the door and opened it. " Come in," she said to some one just outside. And Mr. Holt came and stood in the door. I drew the torn kimono together and looked in his eyes. No, I couldn't I couldn't. And I told him so. I think he must have heard something down- stairs, for he evinced no astonishment. " My dear child," he said, " I am sorry you didn't tell me this yesterday or last week, for that mat- ter, or the week before." " I am sorry, too," I answered. For how could I tell him that I had only just known? How could I touch on what was so new and humiliating? No doubt he thought I had known of Aunt Emmeline's " blunt measure " all the time. No doubt he sup- posed I had waited on the stair while she extracted his proposal, and had run to her afterwards, all anxious and fearful, asking what he had said ! Oh, it was sickening! He made no reply to this, and Aunt Emmeline seemed all at once to remember something in the lit- tle dressing-room off mine. When she had closed the door he came in and stood very near me. I wasn't looking at him now, but down at my veil which had fallen from the chair and was tangled all about my feet. Strange it seems, when I think of it, but never before had we been together alone. " My dear child," he said again, so softly that 10 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE even Aunt Emmeline could not have heard him, " do you hate me so much? " I looked up quickly. " I don't hate you at all," I said. Then my eyes fell before his and I covered my face. To think I had been sneaked onto his doorstep, and he couldn't even take me to an orphan asylum ! If I uncovered my resentment to him, would he not say, " But I wanted you all the time ! " As he had been gallant in deed, would he not be gallant in word? Yet I could be gallant I too ! and for my own sake as well as his. " I don't hate you," I said behind my hands. " But I cannot go with you anywhere. I cannot be your wife. You must do something. You will know best what. Only go away and leave me please." At that he laughed a short, low, sudden laugh that made me uncover my face and look at him. It was the sort of laugh one gives when a child has de- manded something quite absurd and impossible. " You wouldn't try to make me go ? " I whispered. " Heavens, no ! Only you refuse to take your wedding trip with me just as if you were declining a second extra at a dance ! " And he continued to laugh, standing there very tall and fair, looking at me with the steady look from his gray-blue eyes. " I know it's absurdly late to tell you this," I said. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 11 " I know you've passage taken, and a villa leased and Couldn't you go alone? " At that I thought he was going to laugh outright, but he changed his mind and said very gravely, " Perhaps I could. Whatever I do, you must write to me at once. You must tell me " he glanced to- ward the other room " you must tell me just what this is that has unsettled you. You must let me know your wishes and we must consult upon their wisdom and your reason for them. And please re- member, no matter what they are and no matter what they lead to, I stand ready to be your friend. You won't forget that ? " Indeed I wouldn't! He held out his hand and when I gave him mine in answer I found it enveloped in both of his. He would be kind ! I felt this knowl- edge vibrate from him to me. He would be gentle and compassionate and accept the obligation of my support as obediently as Aunt Emmeline had done, but Charity that ice from bitter waters had chilled my palate long enough, and I, who had thought myself chosen by this man chosen for his own happiness the conceit of me ! felt I should die rather than transfer myself to his care. Slowly I drew my hand away, and for a moment he stood silent. Then he turned and went quickly from the room. I heard him pass swiftly down the stair, and in another moment the honk and whir of a de- parting motor. 12 Then the dressing-room door opened and Aunt Emmeline came in. She looked at me, standing there alone, then her glance fell on the open door. And then she dropped plump in the big wing chair and be- gan to cry. Whatever cruel thing Aunt Emmeline had said or done to me in the past two years and they were not a few was thoroughly avenged in the next five minutes. Her tears were not for Mr. Holt, nor was she bemoaning, in reality, the glory of all I had thrown away. She was weeping to think of that wasted wedding and the guests departing that they might chuckle in the darkness of their tonneaux. She was thinking of the morning papers whose headlines would chron- icle this function with a prominence such as her most laboriously brilliant social offerings had not hitherto achieved. I felt very sorry for her. After all, I had been a painful burden, and she had acted for what she felt was best. I could have crept over to her as she sat doubled and shaking in the wing chair, and offered some word of comfort, but I knew the reaction from those rare tears boded no good for me, and I stole swiftly toward the adjoining room, meaning to bolt the door a second time on my safety. She surmised my intention, however, and rose in my path, her face distorted, her eyes blazing. "I DON'T HATE YOU AT ALL. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 13 " Leave the house ! " she shrieked. " Take your trunks and go ! Now ! This instant ! " Perhaps I was dazed by the enormity of her com- mand. At any rate, I answered at once, with the docility and cheerfulness I had always accorded her desires, " Yes, Aunt Emmeline. Certainly." And I went into the room whither I had started and began to do up my hair. Just as I thrust in the first hairpin I heard her pass out into the hall, clos- ing the door with a precision that showed me her wrath was concentrating as she went. I turned quickly and began to dress. II It was when I was seven that I had first seen Aunt Emmeline. Tubby and I had been playing in the garden. Tubby was the boy who lived on the other side of our brick wall. He was a nice boy with one freckle and I loved him dearly. We had constructed a top- ply house of fallen oranges with a yucca spear for a cupola. We expected to inhabit it the rest of our natural lives, and Tubby had just started bringing in wood that we might, when need arose, regale our conjugal felicity with cooked food. We had each abstracted from our respective pantries, little pill- boxes of sugar and flour, and I had a cologne bottle filled with strawberry extract. We were ready for the future. I was stacking these commodities on the rungs of a little step-ladder which Tubby had obligingly stolen from somewhere, when Black Annie came out on the porch and began calling. It was Black Annie's custom to appear at all crucial inter- vals in my life, but I associate the memory of this interruption with a feeling of especial annoyance, for she announced that company was coming and I must have my hair combed. Now the hair-brush in 14 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 15 our house was a double corrective agency, the bristly side being employed daily and with infinite pains upon tangled hair. The other side the flat side was employed otherwise, not so frequently, perhaps, but with pains equally infinite. In each instance, it was Black Annie who wielded it. Her methods were primitive, and, because of her antiquity, and her proven loyalty, she was allowed some lati- tude in relieving her emotions. But when she broached the subject of the hair-brush in either ca- pacity, I always went under the bed. It was a big bed, a queer old " four-poster," whose low-hung pro- portions refused to shelter anything larger than a very little squeezed-up girl. Black Annie's bulk was phenomenal and, although the broom sometimes investigatingly followed my in- gress, its contact was less stimulating than that of the hair-brush must inevitably be, and, sooner or later, it always retreated discomfited. To-day, however, there was no need of retiring beneath the big bed. I was in the wildest, thickest part of the garden and Black Annie was too busy to come look for me. Safe as a pirate in mid-seas, I knew myself until, indeed, Tubby, himself, should be called home, and I must return to Black Annie of my own accord. Aunt Emmeline was not a widow then, and the big, kind, cordial man beside her I had straightway loved. 16 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE They two were my first glimpse of the outer world. Before that, I had no thoughts beyond the wall that guarded our garden and the little rose-covered gate that opened into the long country road ex- cept, to be sure, of the stately, columned house next door where Tubby lived, and the memories of the city we had left, memories that grew fewer, day by day. Here in my leafy world I had conversed with toad and caterpillar, overcoming through compassion on their groveling lives what might have been terror of the unbeautiful. I knew the little pointed leaves and the big round ones. I knew the timid, prayerful ferns and the humble mosses. I lay in the grass under the magnolia trees and allowed wee flying things and blundering, creeping things to make bold with me. I had deep respect, but no fear, of centi- pedes and spotted tarantulas. I knew their inten- tions, and since they didn't know mine, I profited by my advantage and kept out of their way. I caught in my hands the white-nosed bees and allowed to the black-nosed bees their own freedom. For the white-nosed bees are as 'harmless as the honey-bells they rifle, but the black-nosed bees are warriors with ready spears! Alas! Why didn't I learn then to be a black-nosed bee? Perhaps I had not been caught and prisoned so many times ! But I learned nothing except to romp and roll in THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 17 the grass and to get burs in ray mop of hair. I learned nothing except to play under the orange trees with Tubby, and to love him dearly, and to weep with rage whenever the woman in the big house next door came looking for him through a crack in the wall and commanded him to come home. I hated the woman. She wore a gray apron, and her voice was harsh. There was a lady next door who wore white dresses and had a gold comb in her hair. I loved the lady. But the woman I planned to slay. In cold blood one day I climbed the wall and cast a green orange at the woman. Then I sat huddled on the ground all afternoon regretting that I had killed her. But Tubby came over finally and his omission to mention the funeral led me to infer that my green orange had missed its aim. I was glad. On second thought, I didn't want to destroy anything that belonged to Tubby. And then Tubby started a-building our house and a-singing his little song just where he had left off. For he was a cheerful, plodding little soul and inter- ruptions drove him to nothing so desperate as green oranges and tears and discouragement with his task. Song and work started again as blithely as if he had been a little phonograph. And the song of Tubby was the strangest, comicalest little song I ever heard. Indeed, I never did hear anything at all like it, either before or since. It wasn't a song, really, but a sort of gruff incan- 18 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE tation, half chant, half growl like the intoning of a frog, suddenly grown articulate! "Old Monza, Queen of Samarcand, She was a doughty soul! She spanked her sons with spik-ed hand, And fed them barley whole! And fed them barley whole!" That was the first verse, and the others went on to tell of the eldest prince of Samarcand, and the next, and the next, clear down to the present king. I have forgotten the words, but the princes grew every one to be brave warriors, and all ate barley whole only Tubby called it " bollyhole," and I always supposed it was some sort of doughnut, a diet that had its attractions, but I earnestly de- plored the necessity for the spik-ed hand. It sounded even worse than the hair-brush. And then, when Tubby had gone home to return no more that day, and the garden had become a desert far bleaker than before he came, there was nothing left but to go inside and let Mother get the burs out of my hair. This was the operation preceding Black Annie's brushing, but my mother's hands were slow and kind, and we had some of our most comfortable reunions while she extracted burs. My mother never left her place by the window. Always she sat there in the long, low chair, look- ing into the garden. And always, when I came in, THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 19 she turned to me and smiled. Sometimes, before she saw me, there would be a strange light in her eyes, a lingering, wistful glow, like the last sunset of sum- mer. But always she turned and smiled. And, as she sat there, she made with her fingers soft frocks for me, frocks of infinite, miraculous stitches that I keep even now, rent and stained from where I climbed the wall or sat in the trees with Tubby. And which were the whiter, the frocks or her fingers, I cannot tell. But whiter than either was her face, and burn- ing in each cheek a red, red rose. Her brown-gold eyes were full of light and their least look was a caress. There were two curls on either side her face and they brushed my cheek at night when she bent over me. They, too, had some- thing tender in their touch, something vibrant with love. Is it not good to have in the background of one's life a little walled-in garden of memories, where one may go back on rainy days and gather flowers ? But there was one who knew what her long looking into the sunshine meant. He had left his work in the far city, had my father, to come with her here where the roses and the sweet sea sunshine might help her to forget. It was only a month after Hope had gone that we came. Hope was my sister, two years younger than I, and she had flitted away with a wonder in her round eyes and a glint in her gold hair, as if already 20 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE the brightness of some heavenly dawn had found her. Lightly she had gone, and quickly, leaving in my mother's cheek the red, red rose, and in my mother's eyes the look of following. A few pupils had my father here. They had fol- lowed him from the great university and he taught them out under the magnolias in the society of my caterpillars and white-nosed bees. They said rev- erend things about Plato which cling to me even now, and rolled out Latin words like chords of music. And though I knew nothing of the meaning of the things I heard, when the wind is in the south, I some- times hear in my father's voice, blended with the smell of the magnolias and the drumming of the bees, " Vos manet, O fessi rerum, spes ultima mortis Aeternum que ferens somnum lethale papaver ! " Spes ultima! And then the student would depart with his books through the little flowered gate and he, my father, would go in to her. He would go in and take out his violin, and, tuning it a little, begin to play. Looking back listening back, I think he could not have played with the technical skill he brought to Plato and Vergil, but I know that those who listened loved him better after and that is the great test of violin playing! And I know that the lady next door, the lady with the gold comb in her hair, sitting amid her lilacs and spirea I know she told me that when the nights were still, she could THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 21 not sleep for listening to his music its sweetness broke the heart. Sometimes my mother sang as he played, sang in a voice that was like the perfume of the roses in the hedge. Its sweetness broke the heart. But there came days when she seemed too tired to sing, and the violin sent its slender cry into the night alone. Oftener and longer my father played. It was as if they two had less to talk about, or were afraid to talk, and in the silence she would signal toward the little case. Strangely enough I wished now that the violin would be still. There was some- thing in its note I could not understand. It was like her looking into the garden, day after day. And then Aunt Emmeline came. She was my mother's half sister, and they were very rich. I felt some vague aloofness in her glance about the Little House and in the rustle of her full silk dress. They had meant to tidy me before the train came in, but I had not obeyed Black Annie's call, so, hav- ing many things to do, she had let me be, and I had strolled in shortly after the arrival of the company, bringing with me an unprecedented crop of burs. My mother lay on the bed. She had been there three days, and it looked as if the roses in her cheeks were angry and meant to devour her. Her dark hair lay all about her on the pillow, and the little un- finished frock was beside her on the bed. She smiled at me. 22 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE The Big Man and my father were talking. The Big Man opened his arms. " Come here, you beauty ! " he said. " Beauties are usually tidy," remarked Aunt Em- meline. " How do you do, Zoe ? " And, turning, I saw her for the first time. Straightway I went to my father and climbed on his knee. Whereupon, he began clumsily to extract burs, and Aunt Emmeline forgot all about me. The next day a strange man with a satchel came up from the city, and the Big Man and I took a walk along the beach. Before we left the garden I intro- duced him to a horned frog, a creature he confessed to never having met before. He let the gray, knob- bly thing escape while he smoothed my hair which Annie had combed, and patted my hands as they twisted buttercups. I wound the yellow chains about his neck and he wore them home as if he scarcely knew that they were there. When we reached our gate the lady with the gold comb was coming down our walk, her fair young husband by her side. The lady's dark hair was rumpled a little and her eyes were strange. She knelt before me on the gravel and, folding me about, kissed me and held me in her arms. Her hair smelled of lilacs. I felt the soft stir of her heart. I was sorry when she let me go. But at last she rose and moved away without a word. Her husband delayed, his hand resting on my hair, then presently he kissed me too. The Big Man THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 23 went in. I looked up then to see Tubby sitting upon the wall. I caught his feet and pulled until he descended and sat beside me on the grass. " When I am grown," said Tubby, apropos of nothing, " I am going to marry you." " All right," I conceded. For it had always been my intention that he should. " I am going to build you a house out of lumber and a flower-garden and fix a clothes-line where you can hang out the washing." " All right," I agreed, moved deeply by the pros- pect of a real clothes-line. " And when you go away," continued Tubby, look- ing very fierce and swallowing hard, " I'm going to write you letters." I agreed to this, too, adding only that I didn't mean to go away ever. At which Tubby looked even fiercer and, reaching into his pocket, drew forth a fat stick of candy, and breaking it in two, pushed half into my hand. Then quickly he climbed the wall and disappeared. That night I slept in a far room and there was no one to find my nightgown. I was told only to be very quiet and not to leave my bed. Black Annie passed my door crying, and when I called to her to unbutton me she merely hugged me over and over and went away, leaving me as hopelessly fastened as before. After which I tugged myself gradually apart and put on a little rumpled petticoat in de- 24 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE fault of a nightgown. Then I went to sleep, having planned buttercup-chains for my mother and Tubby. I was wakened by my father at my bed. It was deep in the night and the rain was falling. I could not understand at first. My father's voice seemed, somehow, part of the rain. But finally I crept from the bed and he took me by the hand. I was to come and kiss my mother good night. There are flowers in my little walled-in garden that will not bear the touch. They dwell in the dim recesses of the cypress trees, and they shrink from the light. Their bloom and dew vanish at the brush- ing of a hand. One morning I passed down the little walk, cling- ing to my father's hand. Aunt Emmeline and the Big Man walked before, and Tubby sat on the wall. My father passed into the road and gave instruc- tions to the driver of the hack that should carry us into town. Tubby, at this moment, came down from the wall and pressed something into my hand. It was round and hard and swathed in paper. Labori- ously I unwrapped it. It was the other half of the stick of candy. I looked up to thank him. He was gone. I followed Aunt Emmeline through the flowered gate and climbed into the hack. I never saw the Little House again. in Let me give Aunt Emmeline her due. From the moment of our first meeting she made no pretense. All that she did for me afterward had its birth in a sense of duty, a form of philanthropy whose bounties are hard to accept, but harder still to discharge. If she had beheld in me that morning some likeness to her ideal of childhood ; if there had been in me some quality of appeal, even, that had set vibrating in her heart the longings she might have known for children of her own, then all her later gifts would have fallen ripe from her hands. Giving would have been a rite simple enough, a pleasant pastime, and not a task conscientiously and painfully performed. That the task was painful, and that she performed it conscientiously, this acknowledgment is her due. Was it her fault that I was nobody's ideal? That my hair was a mop, that my eyes were queer? " golden " someone has called them since, but, frankly, they were precisely the shade of Tubby's cat's. Later, as I ate the ginger cookies with which Black Annie had lured me from under the bed, that humiliated soul commented on my soiled dress and brown, scratched knees. 25 26 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " Ain't you got no reasonment? " asked Black An- nie. *' You been a-rippin' and a-snortin' 'round heah lak a rattle-snake! Don' you know when you does dat you ain't gwine make no impressions on comp'ny lessen you change yo' clothes? " It was merely another way of stating that old truth, mistreated of the idealists, that " Beauties are usually tidy " ! When my father, then, returned to his work in the university, the Big Man proposed that I accompany them home. Aunt Emmeline demurred. She felt, she said, that my father and I should not be sepa- rated. The Big Man replied that I might visit my father once in a while ; that I could not be left in the city with no woman to look after me. Aunt Emmeline replied that Black Annie was a woman. But the Big Man spoke slightingly of " hirelings " and said something about training and environment. He spoke so sternly that I felt sure he was angry, but he turned to me suddenly, and lifting me to his knee began to smooth my hair. Aunt Emme- line caressed her black silk lap. She said no more. Later, my father came it was night and Annie had tucked me in bed. He sat by my side in the dim light and held my hand. When I fell asleep, he was still there, my hand closed warm in his. I had prattled of many things. But my father had not said a word. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 27 The next day I went away with the Big Man and Aunt Emmeline. Their house in New York was very wonderful. The floors were as slippery as polished amber. The walls were covered with dim brocade and there were rich hangings and soft old rugs. There was one great room filled with pictures which strange people sometimes came to see. And there were queer, pre- cious, carven relics in this same room, and statues of white marble in out of the way recesses about the house, and lamps of lucent Venetian glass, and ex- quisite ornaments and rare old books. Some of these things Aunt Emmeline liked, as for instance, the strange lamps and the bric'-a-brac'. But the Big Man used to stand silent before the pic- tures, and explain the curios to callers if they seemed to care, and stroke the books with gentle, caressing hand. There came a time when we found he had be- queathed these last to my father, and thence of course they came to me. They are still with Aunt Emmeline, and I hope she will let me have them. When I finally finished school these books became my fairy-land. There were tales in Old French, hand-illuminated on parchment, yellow as jonquils; fragments of orig- inal manuscript I remember one little interlined page of Charles Dickens', treasure of treasures! and quaint first editions. Big tomes of mythology and queer old Puritan anthologies. I hope they will come to me one day, not so much for what they are 28 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE themselves, as for the ghost of the Big Man's hand- touch that dwells in every one, and for my father's faint, penciled marginals, made in the brief period that they were his. It was a treasure house, indeed, this palace of Aunt Emmeline's. Let me do her further justice and say that she suffered much when she introduced there- into so lawless a little rowdy as myself. As for me, I entered this domain of wealth and dignity with pre- cisely that attitude of mind in which I crawled into the topply orange house reared by Tubby. Per- haps I evinced more curiosity, but I showed no more reverence. I ran up and down the stairs. I skated on the slippery floors. I peeped behind all the hangings. I built a pyramid of rare, fragile books on the library rug. I sang and I called, flopping my great gypsy mane which was the despair of the French maid. I drummed on the piano and I teased the bored and elegant Persian cat. The naughtinesses which dissipate themselves harmlessly in the wide sunlight of a garden, become unendurable when confined in close and unaccustomed quarters. Aunt Emmeline was driven well-nigh distrait. Her hitherto peaceful days were given over to restraining me or attempting to into something bordering on decorum. " Lady like " was her slo- gan. I had never heard the phrase before, and it THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 29 filled me with a vague internal shrinking, the feeling one has in contemplating a height both difficult and undesirable. Through all my body I felt the ac- cumulation of energies which the staid walks in the park I wasn't allowed to run rather aggra- vated than removed. I wanted to dance, to jump, to cry aloud. Oh, to stretch my body in a quick climb up the wall with Tubby ! To leap from the top amid the soft grass and the pansies 1 One day I thought of the banisters. Others may have slid down stair- railings before me, but I had never heard of it. So far as I was concerned, it was a purely original sin. Surely, I conceived, one could trip softly up the car- peted stair, and, mounting at the top, do silent and ecstatic chutes through long, delicious hours! And if no one were disturbed, wherein lay the crime? It was some reasoning of this sort that brought about my banishment. For on my third descent > Oh, the heaven of those preceding moments! Aunt Emmeline elected to come down in a manner more approved, and, discovering my orgy at mid- height, called Minette to rescue and restrain me. Then slje retired to her room and wrote a certain let- ter to my father. Next week she received another in return and its news was broached to me. I was to go to a convent St. Ursula's and it was only a short distance from the university where my father lived. It was, therefore, next door to heaven, and a most extraordinary place, it appeared to me, to 30 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE send a little girl for her sins. The very magnitude of my joy repressed me into something like quiet for the two days I remained. Aunt Emmeline was equally rejoiced, and I think Minette, who had had charge of me, thanked her especial saint with hourly fervor. Only the Big Man was silent. The evening before I left he held me on his knees and read to me until his voice grew tired. J must have gone to sleep in his arms, for I dimly remember Minette receiving my hand from his and guiding me as I stumbled up the stair. Three years I stayed at the convent. Three brief years, crowded with the memory of other little girls, of dark-veiled women with kind eyes, of swings un- der the trees and shaded walks : of a rounded, laugh- ing priest who taught us games and dressed in queer robes for mass or vespers; of rosaries and incense and angelus bells ; of lessons in French and painting flowers ; of learning to write letters and do sums, to sew and to dance. All this was a new world, for I had never been taught anything at all, unless it was my prayers and a little German song or two. And this new world's pleasant chaos was broken rhythmically by those golden, distinct Sundays when my father came to see me and took me to the parks and to ride on the street cars. I was eleven when I left the convent and both my father and the Big Man were gone. I had no one now in all the world, except Aunt Emmeline. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 31 But I was better behaved. I had learned to say, " Yes, Aunt Emmeline," and " No, Aunt Emmeline." I could sit for an hour with my hands folded in my lap, and I could play nice little pieces on the piano, and courtesy when I was brought in to see company. Aunt Emmeline was very pleased with me, but she said it reminded her too much of Uncle Richard to have me in the house, so I was sent to Miss Trippett's School for Girls, two hours' ride from town. At Miss Trippett's I learned still other things. For example, the iniquity of unpolished nails, and of ribbons out of tone with one's frock. I learned that the absence of lace on one's petticoat, that to be shabby, and, above all, mended, removed one from all title to affiliation with " us." And yet, in spite of all, I came to love Rebecca Hardy, the housekeeper's little girl. Rebecca com- mitted daily all this list of crimes. She was shabby and mended too. Her plain frock was covered with plainer pinafores, and everybody knows that pina- fores vanished with the dinosaur. Moreover, she wore no ribbons at all, but a round-comb ! It was the only round-comb I had ever seen, and its use effected on Rebecca a peeled brow and an out-standing coiffure that were the butt of Miss Trippett's. But under the cropped, queer hair, what a sturdy, kindly comfortable little countenance ! There was a freckle on her nose like Tubby's, and she had some- 32 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE thing of Tubby's smile, and I loved her. I loved her with a deep and absorbing love, and I fought for her among the girls like a little tigress. In the presence of Miss Trippett, Rebecca's mother was as silent and weary-faced as the most approved housekeeper I ever knew, but alone with Rebecca and me, she grew loquacious and even demonstrative, slip- ping out of the storeroom as I passed, and giving me a hug and a cooky and a shower of pet names, all in the space of a breath. Rebecca didn't go to the classes at Miss Trippett's. She went to the public school in the street below. On bright days and dull days, through wind and rain and sleet, we saw her trudging through the big stone portals, her little second-hand books under her arm and her little outgrown coat buttoned tight across her chest. And when she came back in the afternoon I was waiting on the cellar steps, having sneaked out of the play-room upstairs. Rebecca didn't mind the snubs of the girls, not she ! As for going to the public school, she said one could learn more there than at Miss Trippett's. She said Miss Trippett's girls were snobs. It was a horrible word. It made me think of " lady like." But Rebecca said that I wasn't a snob, and she cried very much when we embraced for the last time upon the cellar steps. She said she would write to me. And, unlike Tubby, she kept her word. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 33 From Miss Trippett's I went to Chenevix Sem- inary. Chenevix was the blossom as Miss Trippett's had been the bud. It was a " finishing " school and if it hadn't been for the Big Man's library But the library was there, like a forest of enchanted flowers, and I had finally long days of leisure to wan- der, and gather what I could. At last I came back to Aunt Emmeline for good. " Zoe," she said then, " I have done everything for you since your father died. We promised your mother that is, Richard did that we would look after you if your father's heart failed, and we have. I tried, as you know, to keep you here from the be- ginning, but that was impossible. I intend to do my duty by you until the end, and I hope that you won't prove a failure or a disappointment. As you re- alize, perhaps, your father left you practically noth- ing something like five hundred dollars, which your Uncle Richard wasn't here to improve for you, and which, when you marry, I will give you." " Let me take it now," I said, " and go somewhere and work." For Aunt Emmeline's voice had held a note of weariness that hurt me. Though tired with dragging her burden, she had lifted it to her shoul- ders, and she seemed scarcely equal to the weight. " Work? " echoed Aunt Emmeline. " What could you do ? " What, indeed? Miss Trippett's and Chenevix do not fit girls for work. 34 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " No, Zoe. I have no patience with this modern mania of women for self-support. They invariably end with marriage, so why not aim toward it in the beginning? I have fitted you to marry into wealth and position, and I shall give you every opportunity to accomplish it. I shall place you in the hands of the best modistes and coiffeuse. I will surround you with the most brilliant eligibles in New York. I will give you setting and background, with all that means for two years. Then I shall be through." Two years ! And at the end of that time I must marry or " What shall I do if I don't marry ? " I asked. For I had never contemplated marrying anybody ex- cept Tubby. " You will marry," said Aunt Emmeline. " Leave it to me." She introduced me at a dinner. The inevitable reception had occurred that afternoon, but the din- ner was the coup de mattre. I cannot suppress a chuckle, even now, when I review that flower-brimmed board, surrounded by the richest bachelors in New York and the ugliest girls ! " One must have girls," said Aunt Emmeline. So she did her best to make me shine by contrast. She was a general in her way. And what thought she had given to my dress ! Dead white it was, the filmiest and softest, with my hair most simply done. Aunt Emmeline was for 35 placing an aigrette in my hair, but Madame Ninon, in whose ateliers all my dresses had been composed, and who had come herself to supervise my toilet * Madame Ninon held up her plump hands with hor- ror as spectacular as though Aunt Emmeline had proposed the amputation of my head. " An aigrette in that glorious dark ? But no ! " So I descended without ornament save for the ruby at my throat. I was a little frightened at first more frightened than during the afternoon but as the dinner advanced, I felt somehow, steeped in laughter. If the girls were ugly, they had their match in the eligibles. And then it was so absorb- ing to watch Aunt Emmeline! Perhaps I did look at Mr. Holt that night. Per- haps I have looked at him since. I do not know. It was all over at last, and Aunt Emmeline, paus- ing at my door, said complacently, " You're a suc- cess, Zoe. You'll be married in six months." But I wasn't. When she presented her candidates I grew ill. I knew it was an illness I couldn't afford, but the malady advanced with every proposal I received. There was the fat millionaire first of all. Aunt Em- meline had set her heart on my accepting him, and it was with a wrench that she finally transferred her hopes to the lean one. After the lean one, came a widower. He, too, had millions of dollars and al- most as many children. There was another million- 36 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE aire who was older than my grandfather might have been. He had a beautiful toupet and a very nice cane, but I didn't want him. And another with bleary eyes who tried to kiss me and acted precisely as if he were going to eat me instead. And I continued to refuse, laughingly at first, then tearfully, then half afraid for the two years were almost done and Aunt Emmeline was waxing furious with my folly. So, finally, she presented Mr. Holt, and I promised her, in a sort of panic, to marry him. It was a relief to contemplate him after the others. He was so quiet and so kind. So tall and clean and strong. And I didn't know that she had bullied him as she had bullied me. And, after all, I had been a disappointment ! Not a failure indeed, she had prevented that ! but a disappointment on the heels of triumph, an anti-climax, a disgrace! Here I stood, the tower of her success fallen about us at my touch, all her care- fully applied veneer rubbed from me in a twinkling, here I stood, the identical young rowdy who had al- ways wrought such havoc in her house ! What won- der she had risen in this final hour and ordered me away! I was dressed at last, and I adjusted my little fur hat without even looking in the glass. It was my " going away " hat, and truly I was going away ! THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 87 I lifted from their satin nest the pearls that had been Mr. Holt's marriage gift, and having inventoried them again, brooch and bracelet and ear-rings, shim- mering necklace and tiara, I replaced them, and, slip- ping off my wedding ring, laid it among them, lock- ing the velvet case and thrusting it into my satchel that Katy had packed for the steamer. I would re- turn them all as soon as Mr. Holt should come back from his solitary wedding journey. The door burst open. It was Katy and she was crying so, she had forgotten to knock. " Oh, Miss Zoe ! " she broke forth. " Is it wild the mistress has gone? Is it mad she is, a-sendin* you out into the night? " " Quiet now, Katy," I soothed. " Think of your- self, or you may get sent too. I'll be all right." " Oh, the darlin' that you are ! " cried Katy, with whom violence always took the form of poetry. " The treasure wid yure eyes like stars and yure dimples and the bonny, bonny hair! And if you don't love the mon, for why did she make you morry him? And for why should you go a-travelin' with a mon you don't want? Oh, mavourneen, you mustn't lave not like this ! " And she hugged me till I thought I should break, and kissed me on my ears and nose and anywhere she happened to alight. And I hugged her back, dear Katy, and begged her with all my might not to worry, 38 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE not to fear. At length she calmed from sheer ex- haustion, and handed me a rather crumpled envelope. Even before I opened it, I knew what was inside. It held my five hundred dollars in ten fifty-dollar bills. How punctilious Aunt Emmeline was, even to the last ! But I was glad of the money. I knew I should need it. " Katy," I said, scribbling hastily, " here is my address. Have my trunks sent there, and any mail that may come to me." Katy sobbed that she would, and added that she had not feared a lack of places for me to go to, she knew the grand friends I had bless her innocent heart ! I patted her shoulder, just as one pets a pony's when the fright is done, and asked her to call a carriage for me. Katy had not known me until after the re- formatory influences of Miss Trippett's, which per- haps accounts for her unspoiled attachment. I thanked her for all she had done and remembered to hope that the relative who was ill in Ireland Katy always has a relative ill in Ireland would recover in record breaking time. I left her shaking a hope- less head, but restored to familiar ground. Downstairs a solitary maid was gathering up the litter that follows a party. There was a close smell of dead flowers. The arch with its drooping roses, the presents piled in the library, all seemed futile shadows in some dissipated dream. I opened the great doors and passed out into the night. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 39 Of all the friends whom Katy had called mine, it was Rebecca Hardy to whom I turned in need. Her mother had left Miss Trippett's and was taking boarders. Many times I had slipped away to see them, and twice I had lunched with them down-town. But they never came to call on me never but once. On that occasion they had met Aunt Emmeline, and she had said something about the rear entrance and the maids' parlor. She knew they had come to see me and not the maids, but she knew, too, of their late position at Miss Trippett's, and of my friendship for Rebecca a thing she deplored. I had slipped them a card to my wedding and I learned afterward that Rebecca had been there not at the reception, of course, but in the church. I had felt as I moved down the long aisle that Re- becca was there back in a dark corner, perhaps but there! And I turned to her now, sure of a welcome, an astonished one, maybe, but a welcome, nevertheless ! IV And this was just Saturday night! It seems ages ago, and I think I have written of it as if I were excavating something buried and half forgotten. Yet nothing is forgotten. I recall even the glint of the pearl in Mr. Holt's tie as he stood looking down at me there in my room. I remember vaguely wondering if it were one of his mother's pearls as were those he had given me! And I remember Rebecca's face as she opened the front door. Hers was the wide look of the pro- foundly stupefied. She had supposed me on my way to Italy with Mr. Holt. She had seen the bishop in his robes and me in mine. She had heard the pad- lock when it snapped and she had seen us get into one carriage and ride away. Now here I stood, hus- bandless and shipless, between my satchels on her own front stoop! I think Rebecca was entitled to one look, at least, of stupefaction. Yet before she had closed the door it was gone, and her greeting, though a bit tremulous, was much what it had always been. " I've come to stay with you a little while," I ex- plained. 40 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 41 " Fine ! " said Rebecca. " Give me your satchels. Mamma, here's Zoe Ballentyne." *' What? " Mrs. Hardy's answer sounded like the snapping of a string. She came to the door, a large, billowing figure, taking off her glasses. " Why, for heaven's sake ! " she said, and sat down, utterly at a loss. " Have you had supper, Zoe ? " asked Rebecca. After a moment's reflection I remembered that I hadn't and she led me down to the dining-room, which is in the basement. To my great surprise I ate. I hadn't supposed I should ever want to eat again, but I did, and I felt better afterward. When we came upstairs, Mrs. Hardy had recovered sufficiently to join us, and Rebecca, lifting one of my satchels, led the way to the second floor. " Mr. Simms is away now," she said, " and you may have his room. It's all done over fresh." Then, while Rebecca turned down the bed and unpacked my bags, and Mrs. Hardy billowed herself over a rocker, I told them the whole story from be- ginning to end. Mrs. Hardy looked more bewildered than ever. " Asked him his intentions," she repeated. " But, dearie, that sounds very nice and proper to me. Well! Well!" But Rebecca, who was sitting beside me now, gazed at me with her steady eyes and said simply, " I un- derstand." That was all. But I realized suddenly 4 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE how terrible the day had been, and how sore my heart was. Rebecca's single phrase had fallen on me like a healing balm. I felt I should like to sleep. "Well! Well!" said Mrs. Hardy again, and kissing me good night, billowed perplexedly from the room. Rebecca tucked me in after her motherly fashion, and in silence her kiss fell on my face. When the light was put out I seemed to sink into the pillows as in a sea. The rattle of dishes awoke me. Mr. Simms, it appears, dwells above the dining-room. It was broad day. I stretched myself, wondering. Then suddenly I remembered everything. I was just about to bound out of bed, when the door opened and Rebecca came in bearing a tray. " How rested you look ! " she cried, and placed my breakfast on a table close to the bed. I hoped she would sit down beside me, but, after drawing down the window and opening the register, she flew out again, saying something about her table. I had no more finished my coffee than Mrs. Hardy came in. There was something almost furtive in her entrance and in the careful, noiseless way in which she closed the door. She nodded for greeting, and, seating herself on the bed, spread open a morning paper. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 43 I had known what it would be, but the actual sight of it took my breath away. Mr. Holt's picture and mine, framed in each half of a broken heart ! Little wounded loves chunking each other with money- bags! And head-lines! Head-lines! Poor Aunt Emmeline ! " You ought to hear the boarders ! " said Mrs. Hardy. " Rebecca won't let me tell them you're in the house. How interested they'd be if they knew! Is he as handsome as his picture, Zoe? " I assured her that Mr. Holt's picture did not do him justice. She held off the paper and regarded it through her glasses. " And has he done all the wonderful things the paper says he's done? Is he so rich and all that? " As far as I could, I reassured her on these points also. I hadn't read the papers and didn't intend to. " They say he's lived a lot in the West, roughing it. I had a cousin lived out West. His name was Theodore. He was a gardener there. But he turned into a cow-boy. Life is strange ! " With this ponderous reflection she rose hastily. Her escape, however, was not properly timed, for she met Rebecca in the door. Gathering the paper to- gether she thrust it behind her. But Rebecca saw. " Mother ! " she cried. And Mrs. Hardy scuttled out, looking for all the world like a naughty child. " It's all right," I said, trying to seem as if I 44 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE enjoyed all the mess I'd gotten myself into. "I'd have seen the papers sometime. Let me get through the worst of it and go on." " True enough," said Rebecca. " And the papers along with everybody else, will have forgotten the whole thing in a week's time. Where did you get the pretty book ? " She picked up the little journal in which I have been writing since I came. It lay among the dis- gorged contents of my satchel, a delicate, lavender scented thing, bound in blue and gold. Lila Faire, one of my bridesmaids, had thrust it among my things, and asked me to write in it every day. It is a Honeymoon Journal, and one is supposed to note in it all the interesting things one sees on the wed- ding trip. " Shall you write in it ? " asked Rebecca. I shook my head, laughing at the thought. Yet, strangely enough, I have written. It has helped me to think. February 14th I have been here two days and have not yet de- scended to the dining-room. Rebecca has compelled me to " lay low," lest I be recognized and subjected to some embarrassment. This is foolish, and cannot last. I must face the world. I must find something to do. I am afraid of the world. The earth, I love. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 45 When I think of the earth, I think of a shining star hung in blue space. I think of shaggy trees, and friendly lanes, and the smell of broken sod and un- folding flowers. I think of winds and rivers and the wild, singing sea. I think of God. One day I said to Hope : " Let's go to the end of the world ! " She agreed at once, and with neither purse nor scrip, we set forth through the crack in the back fence, proceeding down the alley. We met every- body's trash-pile and garbage can. We met stray cats who got out of our way with agile reverence. And presently, we met a turkey cock. His tail was spread, his chest protruded, his comb hung san- guinely. He peered neither to the right nor to the left, but with measured and terrible tread, moved straight toward us. Too horrified to cry out, I seized Hope by the hand and we turned in the apparition's very teeth and fled. Nor did we stop for breath until the familiar crack had again received us. I have never cared since to go to the end of the world. But I must set out. To-day I looked down the want ad's. Surely somebody needs a perfectly worthless young lady. " Rebecca," I said this afternoon, " I am starting out to-morrow." We sat in what Mrs. Hardy calls her " office." It has a folding bed and a desk in it. She sleeps there at night. 46 "Starting out?" said Mrs. Hardy. "Do you mean you're going to find your husband? " " No, Mother," spoke Rebecca. " Zoe means she's going to find work. There are plenty of things she can do." " Well, well ! " said Mrs. Hardy. " Now, Zoe, tell me this." She took off her glasses and turned to- ward me. " When your aunt asked the young man his intentions, did he, now 'did he say they weren't ! honorable? " " Oh, gracious, Mother ! No ! " answered Re- becca. " Then what on earth " " Simply this : Zoe is not a female of Morocco to be bought by the pound, and she's nice enough to be asked for spontaneously." "Well, well!" said Mrs. Hardy. "What girls do think about ! " I was meditating to-day on a married pair I used to know. They lived in the little pink cottage next door to Miss Trippett's. The man used to wheel himself out in his invalid chair and watch us play basket-ball. He was a very harmless man, so Miss Trippett raised no objection. In some pre-historic time a bullet had gone through his tongue, leaving him dumb. Impulsively swallowing the missile, he had done some damage to his spine, and he couldn't move thereafter, THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 47 except to wheel the chair along the side of the fence. And to smile. He smiled invariably when we grew emotional in our defeats cw unanimously pulled the umpire's hair. The man's name was Jeremiah. We knew because his wife called him that all of it. She used to run all over the neighborhood gathering news. I think she ran out of things to tell Jeremiah, for when she'd return it would be so gleefully if she'd heard any- thing, and so contritely, if she hadn't. She was a little wisp of a woman, with starched skirts and thin, red cheeks. I think now she painted her cheeks to cheer Jeremiah. We used to hear her unfolding all the tales she had gathered from parlor or basement stoop, from over fence or bargain counter, and I shouldn't wonder if sometimes she trimmed up her gleanings, just as she did her cheeks the better to cheer Jeremiah. And Jeremiah used to swallow it all just as he had the bullet and nod slowly, and smile. And she'd wheel him up and down, and look so com- pensated and relieved. It must be pleasant to tell things to such a man. One who couldn't comment or rebuke or advise. One who would simply receive your tidings and smile. This Honeymoon Journal shall be my Jeremiah. I've always wanted one. K February 15th I have met my turkey cock ! This morning before breakfast I got the paper and found where a certain lady, away over in Uni- versity Square, had advertised for a companion. " Must be quiet and refined," I read, " have a pleas- ing voice and a retiring presence." " Rebecca," I said, " what is a retiring presence? " Mrs. Hardy sat up very prim and straight. " It's lady-like," she said. I felt suddenly ill. *' No," said Rebecca, " it's self-effacement." I grew more confident. " How would you dress the part? " I asked. " Black," said Mrs. Hardy. " Let's see what you've got," said Rebecca. So we went through my trunks which had just come. " How in the world," groaned Mrs. Hardy, en- throned on a hat trunk amid the bewildering up- heaval of my trousseau, " how in the world you could turn your back on this and start to hunting down want ad's, passes me ! " .We finally settled on a little dark blue suit which 48 49 J had thought of giving to Katy, but Aunt Emmeline had said, " There are times when every lady needs to look shabby ; places, where to avoid inconvenience, she wishes her station to go unrecognized." Odd that after all I should come to wear this dress in order that my station might be fully understood! Rebecca found a hat that went with it, and care- fully removed the feather. " It's a shame ! " cried Mrs. Hardy, banging down the lid of the hat-trunk. " You're dressing Zoe like a beggar girl ! " " If I come dressed as a beggar girl," I laughed, " I am but as my fortunes are ! " " But you are still the Lady Clare ! " cried Re- becca, pulling the little hat down over my ears and kissing me on the chin. " Oh, Zoe, what a darling companion you'll make ! " "Well, the first place I'd apply for a job," said Mrs. Hardy, " would be at my husband's hotel, whichever that is." " Good-by ! " I gayly waved, and set forth. It was a soggy day, all full of murky drizzle, and there was a little crumply chill sitting in the pit of my stomach. I wish I might have chosen a bright day to start to the end of the world. The house when I reached it had a somber, old-rich look. Inside, the furnishings struck the same key. Hanging and upholstery appeared aged but unworn, as if Old Father Time, alone, had lounged upon the 50 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE sofas and leaned his staff against the tapestried wall. Two girls had come up the steps behind me, and I found three more in the hall. A pompous and at- tenuated butler admitted us. He was so old he seemed to creak as he walked. When he bade us croakingly to enter, I felt as if he were offering to row us across the Styx. A girl came suddenly out from a door at the right and Charon, beckoning, held the portiere apart for me. The crumply chill in my stomach did six revo- lutions and I arose. In the old, old drawing-room sat a gray-haired woman. She was thinner, even, than the butler, and resembled a carven figure in her great mediaeval chair, with her dense black draperies fallen in rigid lines. Her face was white as a mushroom and shriveled into a thousand wrinkles. A crutch leaned beside her like a bishop's staff. There was a chair facing her and she motioned me into it. . . " Cl-cl-cl ! " she exclaimed when I had sat down. It sounded like the rasping of a gate. Seizing her crutch, she began rapidly to tap the floor. " You advertised " I began. " Voice very good," she rasped. " Are you quiet?" I did my best to look so. " Are you quiet? " she squeaked. " I try to be," I answered. Heaven knew what I THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 51 should say when she asked me if I was refined ! But she didn't. " I don't like your dimples," she remarked. " I don't like 'em at all ! " And she tapped severely with her crutch, as much as to say, " Take 'em off ! " And, truly, I would have if I could ! " Married ? " she asked. I was utterly unprepared for this. I felt the red begin at my throat and creep up up The crutch tapped sharply. "What? What? What ?" she creaked. Yes," I said. " Very well. One more question. Do you flirt ? " She leaned forward, peering at me closely. " Oh, no ! " I answered, really indignant. " We shall see. Can you read ? " I was by no means certain, but with the question she reached into the depths of her chair and ex- tracted a gray-black, dingy book, which she gave to me. It was The History of the Dead Sea by one Doome, and the pages were gray with age. " Begin ! " she said. " Page 3." Carefully, I proceeded to obey. " Encrusted with slime and salt, bleak and desolate beneath a glaring sky" " Not there ! " she interrupted. " Further down the page." I skipped two paragraphs. 52 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE ~ (t Stagnant fumes ascend from the marshes along the shore. Natives of alien climes may not in- hale this breath and live. Eke the inhabitants of Jericho grow pale with that vapor. Wantons doth it make of women and brutes of men." The crutch began to tap. There was a fury of rebuke in the sound. I looked up. Between the portieres stood a man a young man. He had genial, blue eyes and ruddy hair. He was fresh of cheek, clean shaven and smiling. Never had I beheld anything that appeared, in contrast, so new and shining as that young man. He was like a rose fal- len in a ruin. The crutch was still tapping. " Shall I shall I continue ? " I asked, scram- bling to find my place. " Not at all ! " cried the lady. " You will not do not at all ! " And she looked from me to the young man. " I said we should see and we have seen. And yet you say you are married ! " I was completely bewildered. Were visitors not allowed to look at the young man? " Good morning," I said. She creaked an obscure and indignant answer. The young man held the portiere aside and I with- drew. To my dismay I found him in the hall beside me and he opened the front door just as Charon ad- vanced. THE LITTLE STRAW; WIFE 53 Then he followed me to the step and, taking my umbrella, raised it. His coolness was amazing. " I hope you didn't mind " he began, just as if we'd known each other a year. " I hope you didn't mind Granny? " I wanted to tell him that it was not Granny, but he, himself, who had caused my discomfiture. Really, I was wading very nicely through the slime and the salt of the Dead Sea. What right had he to come riding, like a year-after-next model, over our nice little Sodom and Gomorrah? But I merely smiled at him, just as if I'd known him a year, and said, with what I hoped was bravado, " Oh, no ! I'm used to such things." " Are you though ? " he asked, letting the rain trickle over my featherless little hat. " I shouldn't have guessed it. But Granny must be worse than the rest, isn't she ? " " Oh, no. They're all about alike." " I j oily well wish she'd take you on," he remarked. " The frumps she gets ! The last one I simply couldn't stand looking at her morning, noon, and night so I kissed her. Granny saw me, of course. She thought I didn't know she was there. I was sorry for the poor girl." " Because you kissed her? " " Yes. And because Granny, thinking her lone hopeful was becoming enamored of the lady compan- ion, fired her. It had to be, however. So to-day 54 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE I thought I'd look in on the samples, and if any of 'em were too dreadful Really, you know it gets rummy mewed up here with Granny and her taste in females." " So that's why you stared me out of counte- nance," I observed. " To keep her from " " On my life," he answered, " I hadn't meant to stare like that unless you were a fright. But when I saw you, I I stared without knowing it. I did, honest. But this is a morgue. Thank my stars, I leave in a month. Here ! I'm going to take you home. You won't mind? " He saw I didn't, and in another minute he had his little runabout, with all the curtains down, chough- ing at the steps and was helping me into it with the rain pelting us like hail. Just as we started off he said, " My name's Rufus Honeywell," and waited. " It's a nice name," I answered. He flashed a smile at me. " On the square," he said, " you just told Granny that, didn't you about being married ? " " No," I said. " It is true." And I was vaguely aware that I ought to jump out of the runabout. "Is he Might I ask, is he an invalid? Be- cause if he is " " He is not." " Well, if he had been I'm a doctor." I said nothing. " Is he here in town ? " he asked. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 55 I said I didn't know. I rather fancied, however, he was in mid-ocean. " Hmmm " said Doctor Honeywell, and that was all until he helped me out at Mrs. Hardy's front door. Anyway, it was better than coming home in the subway all alone. I felt dreadfully wabbly after my seance with the gray woman in the bishop's chair. Is she so formidable to all who answer her ad- vertisement ? Ah, Jeremiah, I have met my turkey cock. But there is no back fence to receive me. February 16th A strange thing has happened. " Rebecca," said Mrs. Hardy, " there is a man spotting this house." " Maybe he wants to buy it," said Rebecca. I went to the window I had been out all day, answering advertisements and I saw that what she said was true. A man in a gray overcoat was walk- ing along the opposite sidewalk, not as if with a view to purchasing anything, but quite casually, smoking a cigar. " I'd think he was just taking a stroll," said Mrs. Hardy, " but that he comes back so often." " There are a good many houses," Rebecca said ; " it may not be ours." But I know it's this house. I know it. 56 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE I was never so tired. I feel all full of bruises. I have applied for positions as governess, companion, amanuensis, and once for a place as sewing girl, for I learned to mend and embroider at the convent. But nobody took me. It has been raining hard all day. I was wet to the knees when I came home. February 17th I celebrated by going down to breakfast for the first time. Mrs. Hardy was in the kitchen and lost the thrilling opportunity of introducing me. As it was, the boarders accepted me merely as the young lady who has Mr. Simms' room. They passed me things and made pleasant remarks about the awful weather, but no one appeared to recognize me as the original of those heart-broken pictures. It was a supreme relief. I think I had expected them to arise, on my entrance, waving their napkins and shouting, " Hail, Lost Bride of Netherby ! " or something of that sort. Night The gray-coated man was on the subway this morning. To-night he boarded the elevated just be- hind me. He seemed not to see me at all. He looks like a gentleman. Surely, I only imagine he is fol- lowing me. February IStTi As I came out of my room this morning, wearing the dingy little suit that had been dried and brushed, I met Rebecca. Her face was flushed, and she caught me by both shoulders. " He's downstairs ! " she fairly cried in a whisper. I stopped, petrified. " He? " " Your husband ! Mr. Holt ! " I gripped the balustrade. So he felt he must stay and track me down ! He felt it his duty to shoulder me, whether I was willing or not. If he had come last night when I was so tired when the rain was falling Who knows? I might have gone with him, pickaback, or any other way! A slinky skirt and slushy shoes are bad for resolutions. But I was rested now, and dry, though dingy. Besides, it was a new day and the sun was shining! " Go down and see him, anyhow," pleaded Re- becca, as if I had said these things aloud. " Certainly I'll see him," I answered. " What else is there to do? " And I turned back into my room, dug up the casket of pearls, and went down. He stood by the piano which is all snaggle-toothed, 67 58 and he was slowly drawing off his gloves. He seemed worried, for he frowned, looking down at the rug. When I came in he wheeled quickly, and the trou- bled look passed from astonishment into something stern and almost indignant. I thought for a minute he was going to spank me, but he came forward on the instant and held out his hand. I think the dress had merely surprised him. But then I can't go trail- ing about in those gorgeous trousseau things asking for a place as governess! I sat down on the big bumpy sofa and he took the shaggy chair just oppo- site. The stern look had given place to a puzzled, uncertain expression, and he looked at roe without speaking. " I thought you were on your honeymoon," I re- marked, for a beginning had to be made. I had put the pearls behind me, for I couldn't speak of those just yet. He smiled a sudden, twinkling smile. " Don't you know," he answered, " that it takes two to make a honeymoon? " " Yes," I said. " The right two." He sobered a little at this, and then he said, " I have been looking for a letter from you in accord- ance with your promise. The night you left your aunt's, I knew. And I knew also that you were not to return." " I thought you left the house at once after our interview," I said. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 59 " I did not leave at once, no. But I left before you. Therefore I did not know where you had gone. I returned later, however, and since your aunt had left town " " So Aunt Emmeline's away ? " " Only for a little rest, I understand. Since she was away, I talked with one of the maids, and got your address. However, I continued to wait for the letter. I think you owe me an explanation, a full and frank explanation of why you refuse to live with me. That's what I am here for." During the silence that followed he looked at me steadily. " I can't give it to you," I said at last. " Do you mean," he answered, " that you have no reason at all, or none that you can formulate? If it be that you are merely uncertain " " I have a reason," I said. " A definite reason ? " " Do you think I could have created all this wreck without a definite reason? " " I can't tell. It's all so extraordinary. Tell me this. Did you go through that service will- ingly? " " Oh, yes ! It was only afterward " " Ah ! " There followed a silence in which I seemed to hear his thoughts crowding against each other. Finally he spoke again. " Was it some- thing you heard ? " 60 How had he come so close to it? I looked away. " My dear child," he said, " there are many things we hear that are not true." " I know that this is true," I answered. " Things are not necessarily true," he gave back, " because they happen to be a literal account of sur- face events. Unless we know motives and under- lying impulses, we have no right to judge actions themselves. If I were certain If you would en- lighten me further, I could, perhaps, explain " " You could probably repeat it in a more delicate manner than it came to me ... that is, you could glose it over. But the facts would remain the same." "Facts?" he repeated. "It is facts I am talk- ing about. Give them to me." " There is one fact I must give you," I answered. " One thing, in justice to myself, that you should know. I did not love you . . . even before I heard. And when I heard, I knew with that between us, I never could." His face had gone quite white. In that instant he had seen on how false a foundation our marriage had been built. In that instant I knew that in the trap Aunt Emmeline had set, this was the bait that had lured him in. Poor young thing! he had thought. She loved him ! And it was all his fault, for being so charming, so superb, so frequent at the house ! He should really have been more careful but now that the unconscious arrow had proven so THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 61 deadly, was he the one to let an enamored lady pine? Never ! Bring hither a parson ! To the kirk ! He was game. Looking at him now, I knew more than ever that he was just the man to do the square thing, the right thing as he saw it, to play fair. But now he saw ! Yet when he answered, his voice was very quiet, very kind. " Very well," he said. " And now the question is, what shall we do ? What is your desire ? " " A divorce," I answered, " would be the only log- ical thing." " Divorces," he said, " are not easily acquired in New York. You wouldn't care, I suppose, to go out to Nevada? " " No," I said, " I shouldn't care to. But if it is necessary " " If you feel it is necessary, it shall be arranged," he said. " And I want you to know, since I am in- formed your aunt makes no provision for you, I will see that " " Oh, please ! " I protested, feeling my face burn. " It is the law." " I am able to take care of myself," I said. Why should marriage hang a woman about a man's neck as the albatross was hung about the An- cient Mariner's? Does a man commit a crime when he marries that he should thereby be sentenced to penal servitude for life? 62 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE He drew the shaggy chair close to the sofa. " Child," he said, " though you don't love me, don't you think that, so long as we are married, we might go on? Come with me. Let me teach you the actual untruth of what you heard, and thereby re- move the barrier you have reared between your heart and me. God knows I shall never let you suffer with regret." He had shot the albatross and he would let it hang about his neck! But the fact remains, that if the albatross had been alive, it would have been just as uncomfortable as the Mariner. I shook my head. " Do you really desire," he asked, " to be a widow? " " A grass widow," I corrected. " I certainly don't desire that you should die. I wonder why they call them grass widows ? " " I don't know," he said. " I never thought about it. But I have still a proposition to make to you. Suppose you go your own little way, married still. Not that I want to keep you against your will, but the talk and the notoriety, and the leers of men. . . . You don't understand, and God grant you never will ! Suppose, since you cannot bear to live with me, that you let me keep still the right to protect you, and look after you, even from afar off. And if some day you feel you can " THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 63 "How about you?" I interrupted. "You may want to marry to have a real wife and a home." " When I do," he said, " I'll let you know. That will be time enough for a divorce." " Will you really and truly let me know? " " I promise. And you If ever you meet someone " He reached down, picked up my hand, and looked into the palm. " I see one love affair, already," he said. " That must have been Tubby," I answered. "Tubby?" " The boy who lived next door when I was little. And, do you know, if ever I do meet someone, as you say, I feel it will be Tubby." " Tell me about this Tubby," he said, laying down my hand. So I told him about those glad, sweet, golden days away down South. I led him through the little flow- ered gate and under the great magnolias where Tubby sat on the rose-crowned wall. I showed him my father reading a thumbed Catullus beneath the trees, and my mother looking out into the garden. At last he spoke. " You think it will be Tubby, because you knew him when you were happiest. If you will come with me, might we not learn to make a garden of our own?" I wonder if he guessed how near I came to follow- ing at those words? 64 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE Again I shook my head. " Very well," he said. " Some day perhaps." And between us, we entered into our contract. I was to be free. Free, indeed, to go where I would and when. Only, I was to consult with him when I needed a friend. He should be free, also. Free, it developed, to protect me from afar, to write to me, and, he endeavored to incorporate, to give me what I required. This last clause, however, I refused to admit. If I accepted from anyone, I said, it should be from him. And he was forced to let it go at that. Then I gave him the casket of pearls, and he looked at them as if he hardly understood. " I am afraid to keep them," I explained, and pushed them into his hands. Then, before he could say a word, Mrs. Hardy came in. She stayed until he left. Rebecca scolded her afterward, but I was thankful for the interruption. We were talked out. He is undoubtedly very game. If he drew a white elephant in a lottery, he'd get it a gold cage and feed it on mammoth chocolates. I am tired to-night. I have walked all day. Why is someone always before me, go I never so early ? February 19th There is no word from Aunt Emmeline. Can I blame her? I would ask her forgiveness, but to ask forgiveness means that one is sorry. And if one is THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 65 sorry, one is willing to repair. The facts remain the same. February 20th Rufus Honeywell called to-day. " Granny drew a prize this time," he remarked, as he sat on the bumpy sofa. " A regular Dead Sea lemon." " Why don't you kiss her? " I inquired. He shook his head. " This one's got a husband," he answered. Then significantly, " A real husband." " Did you come to inquire about rooms ? " I asked. " Because if you did " " No, I came to inquire about you. You didn't give me your name, stingy, so I didn't know who to ask for. Lucky you met me at the door." " Yes. I was just starting out to look for work. I'm still at it. So, if you've any real business to dis- patch, please let us have it." Dr. Honeywell leaned forward. The red of his cheeks had spread all over his face. He looked like a ripe pomegranate. " This is my business, Miss What-ever-your-name- is. I'm starting out West and I want you to go with me." I looked at him, astounded. " As my wife, of course," he supplemented. "I understand, certainly. But I'm married." 66 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " Then get a divorce it's easy out there. Hon- est, I couldn't believe you were married! But any fool can see he cares nothing about you. I'd die for you. Surest thing you know. I never knew a girl could bowl me over like this. Come, now. What do you say? " " I say it's ridiculous. The West doesn't appeal to me and neither do you." " Oh, well ! " he rose. " Think about it a little, will you ? I know you don't like this running around loose." He took his hat. " You say you're starting out? My car's out there. Sha'n't I drive you? " I declined this proposal also, and he received it with the same good grace, departing at once. I'm afraid I mustn't tell people I've a husband. It places him in too unjust a light. But it's nice to have a proposal that I don't owe to the maneuvers of Aunt Emmeline. VII February To-day on Second Avenue I had an adventure. By this time I am used to my gray-coated man cropping up at all sorts of unexpected corners, but this evening another loomed in my path. And this one, unlike him of the gray coat, accosted me. I have often had them stare and even smile, but my apparent blindness usually cooled their interest. However, this man, who was a very rotund individual with a polychromatic vest and a high hat, would not permit me to be blind. He thrust the greater part of his charms directly under my averted gaze, and, holding out his hat as if to catch any tears I might be moved to shed, inquired, " May I walluk weeth you, my pretty one? " Since I couldn't be blind, I elected to be deaf, and hurried on, he hopping at my side, looking for all the world like the frog who would a-wooing go. Tired as I was, I had to smile. Per- haps it was because I was so tired that I couldn't refrain. " Aha ! The deemples ! " he chuckled. " Permeet 1 me, Mees ! " And he offered me his arm. I came near saying his front leg, for the gesture was 67 68 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE purely Patrachian. I quickened step breathlessly, for it was growing dusk. " Ha, my pretty one," he panted as he jumped along. " We have revealed our deemples, and now we must betray how dark our eyes can flash! But not so fast, my pretty one ! Not so fast ! " My sense of amusement left me, my anger too. I was only very afraid. Suddenly he caught my arm, and, though I strug- gled mightily, I could not free myself. He clung hard, and, putting his face close to mine, began to hiss incoherently. I looked wildly about. Many people were about us, yet in the lamp-lit, jostling throng no one seemed to see. Suddenly in the crowd a man halted. " What are you doing? " he asked gruffly, looking from the Frog to me. The Frog spoke, drowning my appeal. " Eet ees my wife, sir. She run the street. She will not stay home." The man shrugged and passed on. I turned to cry after him. Then all at once, as if the ground had opened before us, the Gray Coat stood in the way. With a swift movement of his arm he thrust my pursuer from me, gripping his shoulder as mine had been gripped. Then he turned back the lapel of his coat, and the Frog subsided as if he had been shot. Mumbling a bit, he was released, and waddled off down the avenue. Gray-Coat signaled a cab. I THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 69 was trembling all over and climbed in, grateful for the soft cushions. Looking back, I saw my rescuer standing at the curb, lighting a cigar. All the. way home I worried about the price of the cab, for I had been walking to save car-fare. But when at the door I got out my purse, the cab-man touched his hat and said, " It is paid." I should think it was all a dream, except that my arm is bruised where the Frog seized me. Who is my Gray-Coat? And who am I, that he should watch over me? February 22nd To-day a letter came from Mr. Holt a single line. " Was it necessary to give the ring back too? " No name. Just that. To which I answered, " Not necessary, but best. For your sake as well as mine, I prefer to go as if un- married. Our contract permits that, does it not? " And then I added, by way of a postscript, " I looked up ' grass widow ' in the dictionary. It means a straw widow that is a sham widow. In other words, no widow at all. But there's nothing in a name. And a straw widow is no worse than a straw wife." And I signed my name my own name. Nothing again to-night. Only I've worn out my 70 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE shoes. Oh, I do pray that I may not grow so tired that some night I go to him even against my will! Then, indeed, would I be left on his door-step. February 23rd Good news, Jeremiah! Oh, Jeremiah, clap your hands, and smile with your eyes ! I've got a job ! I went to see the lady away last week, but she gave me no encouragement. She merely took my address and said if she decided later that I'd do, she'd tele- phone. They always say that, but they never tele- phone. When she asked my name, I told her Darnelle. It was my mother's name, and mine, too, for that mat- ter my middle name. Rebecca and I had agreed it would be best not to disclose my identity as the runaway bride at first. But I kept the " Zoe," for I don't believe I could answer to any other given name. So, this morning, just as I was starting on my rounds, the postman handed me a letter addressed to Miss Zoe Darnelle. Miss! And of her own accord. I'm glad of that. Dear Jeremiah, how happy I am ! I'm a nursery governess. It seems a lofty profession, indeed, be- side some I've tried to enter. There are two children where I'm going, and isn't it wonderful that the mother wants for them just what I can give? Sewing and music for the little WITH A SWIFT MOVEMENT OF THE ARM HE THRUST MY PURSUER FROM ME. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 71 girl, French for both, and, of course, reading and writing and figuring. I hope they don't know the multiplication table beyond the sixes. I don't. And I'm to have forty dollars a month. Oh, Jeremiah, it's affluence! I'm taking only the little steamer trunk with my simplest clothes. And I've bought a new suit, a plain black one, and a pair of stubby shoes. I shall pin three ten-dollar bills to my pillow before I go. I don't dare offer them to Mrs. Hardy. And now, Jeremiah, I must pack you. February 25th I have been talking ever since I came with Mrs. Vervaine. She is blond and spare, with protruding light blue eyes and a high forehead. There is a vein down the bridge of her nose that rises and darkens when she is interested. Her lips are thin and look as if they had never been kissed. " I am glad you have been to a convent," she said to me. " It was that which finally induced me to send for you, that and, of course, this Mrs. Hardy's letter relative to your birth and breeding." Rebecca and I had composed the letter. I dropped my eyes, blushing as I deserved to. " Miss Trippett's I know very little, but Chenevix is an ideal institution. It turns out young ladies. It is the place I shall send Elise." Elise is nine. She is gold haired with her father's 72 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE gray eyes, and a pert little chin that has a way of lifting when she receives unsolicited advice. Dicky is my love. He, too, has the gray eyes : what wise children they were when it came to choos- ing eyes ! and round, red cheeks and the bonniest strut of a walk. There is an older son, Harold, who has a tutor. Mr. Vervaine I have scarcely seen. He is a good-looking man, younger, it would appear than his wife, and passionately, though silently, de- voted to the children. To-day we walked by the river, Dicky, Elise and I. I thought of the days when I paced the park with Aunt Emmeline's French maid. I let the children run! Night A note from Mr. Holt, forwarded in an envelope addressed by Rebecca. " Dear Lady: " Our contract permits anything. It is so elastic, that, pull as you will, you cannot break it ! Only why give the wedding ring to me? Must I wear it? " And on one point we disagree. I believe any man would choose that the person he married should be his wife rather than his widow. Regarding this, however, I am willing to be convinced. But I should say that while there's wife there's hope. " Even a drowning man may have a preference in straws, you see ! " THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 73 This communication is too deep. I cannot fathom it. Therefore, I shall let it fall flat. February 26th The children are wild to-day. Uncle Don is coming from California. Fifine, Mrs. Vervaine's maid, explains that " Un- cle Don " is Mr. Vervaine's brother, a bachelor with a " sad past." To-day in the library I ran across a great book on State Laws. I spent two hours in its company. What crude things the divorce statutes are! They seem to brutalize marriage. How irrelevant to the real issues of life are the grounds on which a woman may be freed! February 28th Rebecca has telephoned. What must she say to Rufus Honeywell? He has called, and, seeing no one but her mother, may call again. " Say nothing," I answered. " Not even where I am." "And Mr. Holt?" she asked faintly. " Has he called? " " Yes." " Say nothing, except that, if he should find me again, my name is Miss Darnelle." I wish some kind Fate would lead me to another part of the world ! 74 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE How simple life would be for women if there were no men! March 1st I cannot understand what has just happened. Cora, the second maid, brought me word this aft- ernoon that a lady was " to see me." The children have gone with their father to Yonkers, where Uncle Don, newly arrived from California, is visiting the senior Vervaines. So I went down, thinking to find Rebecca, and behold Katy ! Katy, swathed in black, for the relative in Ireland has died for once ! I brought her up to the nursery where she told me by degrees that Aunt Emmeline had returned and had forbidden my name to be mentioned in her pres- ence. But the servants, said Katy, mention it to each other, and miss me every Here she fumbled for her handkerchief and cried, dear Katy! At last she rose to go. It seems she had sought me first at Mrs. Hardy's and the trip had taken up the greater part of her afternoon. In leaving, she laid a sealed envelope in my hand, saying merely, " I was told to hand you this." I supposed it was a note from Aunt Emmeline and received it gladly. Then Katy went away quickly, having promised to come and see me again. But it was not a note. It contained no written word . . . merely five clean one-hundred dollar bills ! THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 75 Has Aunt Emmeline forgotten that she gave me my money? Does she think that I am in dis- tress ? I have written her a note which I shall register, enclosing the money and reminding her that I have re- ceived my little heritage. I have told her that I have a position now and need nothing. And I have tried to express to her my gratitude. How could I have so misjudged Aunt Emmeline? Night. Dicky and Elise have returned from Yonkers with Uncle Don in their wake. They are joyous and flushed and Dicky has eaten too much ice cream. I ought to have been along, but at the last minute Mr. Vervaine bade me stay. " Take a day off," he said to me, out of the kind- ness of his heart. Mrs. Vervaine was away selecting favors for the cotillion she gives next week at the Plaza. Return- ing to find me at home, she was severely indignant, but reserved her comments for her husband. He met her gaze wearily and with understanding. They went upstairs together. Uncle Don looked after them apprehensively. Then his eye encountered mine as I gathered in my charges, and he smiled. He has a nice smile, patient and droll, as if he 76 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE found all sad things a little funny, and all funny things a little sad. March Jeremiah, I wish you could talk. I wish you could tell me what this means. And I wish you would inform me, accurately and all-see- ingly, what I should do! Here is Aunt Emmeline's note. " My dear Zoe: " I am glad you have found a place, as you call it. As to where your real place is, and what your duties lawfully are, I make no comment. " I know nothing about the money you have mailed to me, and I herewith return it. Of what you mean by my having given you your * little legacy,' I am equally ignorant. If it be your opinion that your father's five hundred dollars was not many times spent on you, then you are uninformed as to the cost of a girl's schooling and wardrobe. " In justice to my own powers of discernment I should inform you that I suspected from the start that you would reward our benefactions in some such way. Despite my objections, your uncle brought you bodily into our house. At his death his will con- tained the provision that, until your marriage, you should be cared for out of his fortune. Further, that when you married, I should enrich you from the THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 77 same source in inverse ratio to your husband's means. Had you, therefore, taken it upon yourself to marry a poor man, I should have been obliged to repair the deficit in his income ! Moreover, if you had not mar- ried at all, I should have been encumbered with you until the day of my death. " I managed to some degree to protect myself from my husband's folly, the extent of which he did not live to see. " EMMELINE DARNELLE MOBSE." So the two-year limit on my single state and the rich husband were Aunt Emmeline's measures for self -protection ! However, I pass this, to think myself threadbare over the source of the money she has returned! I got Katy on the telephone and questioned her, but all I could extract was, " I don't know, Miss Zoe. It was handed me. I was told to deliver it to you " All this in a very shaky voice, very disconnected, as if there were a gap of some sort in the wire be- tween us. " But who, Katy? Who? " And then Katy's voice seemed to subside into thin air, while I shook the 'phone and cried, " Hello ! " " Hello, Miss Zoe ! " faintly. Then silence. But I know. He sent me this. He sent me the other and I have spent some of it more than I have now, counting my salary for this month. 78 Oh, Jeremiah, of course I must return it for how can it be mine ? but I wish you would tell me what to say. I would not wound the hand that would help me. March 5th I have sent it back all but sixty dollars. I was gentle and grateful, but firm. I told him I'd send him the rest when I could. This is what came to-day. " My dear Straw Wife: " Since you will not accept the very modest allow- ance I had arranged, through Katy, I shall hire a po- liceman and a burly one to deliver weekly a sum proportionate to your obstinacy. " Ask yourself this : Have I not the right to give you money ? " To which I answered, " Have I not the right to refuse? " I wonder what he will say to that ! VIII March 9th His answer was his personal card in the hands of a footman. How thankful I am that Mrs. Vervaine was out ! It is quite possible she knows him, and, seeing him, would recall what surely she read in the papers, and then On such thin ice do I walk that I tremble all the while. I had meant, in time, to tell my em- ployer everything, but, now that I know her better, I feel sure she would consider that, having been mar- ried by both a dean and a bishop, I ought to stay with my husband. I did not see the caller. I was giving the children their lessons and could not leave. Night Uncle Don walked with us in the park to-day. He is really different from anyone I have ever known. He seems, by the path of suffering, to have reached a high point of tranquillity and content. Yet he does not talk down from his mountain-top. He reaches down. He takes your hand, as it were, and you seem to stand beside him. The view is 79 80 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE beautiful from where he is. For hours after he leaves me, I stand there still. Then, gradually, I slide down. Fifine says he had a " sad affair." The lady was not the unchanging angel he had dreamed, and " II a le coeur brise," finished Fifine with a little shrug. To-day, as we walked in the park, he said to me, " See how the spring is pushing through last year's fallen leaves. Yet the law of the heart's renewal is even more urgent, more inevitable." And he looked at me. I wonder if he thinks that I, too, have " the heart broken "? March llth It is Sunday. Mr. and Mrs. Vervaine have gone to a sacred con- cert somewhere. Dicky and Elise went early to bed, and, feeling myself alone and free, I went an hour ago, down into the drawing-room. There was upon me a rare mood for music and, without turning on the light, I opened the piano and poured upon the dusk a wandering tide of chords. Presently the sounds resolved themselves into what might have been the melody for Heine's Morgens steh ich auf und frage, and instinctively I began to sing the words, dropping them upon the music as one might drop flowers into a flowing stream. With the last note something stirred behind me. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 81 Uncle Don rose from a chair by the door and came over to the piano. " That was wonderful," he said. " Do you know Heine's Du bis wie eine Blume? " I was so frightened for a moment that I could not speak, and then I said, " I know it well. I have made my own rendering of the words. I sing them to my father's music." " Sing them, won't you? I hope I didn't disturb you, coming in. I was walking the veranda and heard you." I answered that he was welcome, and sang rather falteringly, having lost my abandon, " Oh, them, so like a flower, Beautiful, pure with dew! I gaze on thy face, and sorrow Striketh me thro' and thro' ! "Would I might lay my fingers Lightly along thy hair, Imploring our Father to keep thee Ever so pure and fair ! " Ah, the dear music as it stole out from beneath my fingers, tender, wistful, freighted in the old time with my mother's voice! Rare music, blended with the smell of orange blooms, and sweet roses, breath- ing in the dusk, linked with the shimmer of fireflies and the distant paean of the sea ; linked, indeed, with all the gladness that ever was, and never could be, for me, again! And then, as I sat there silent, 82 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE I grew conscious of the stillness that had filled the, room. I turned to see Uncle Don, sitting in the great chair, motionless as if carved in wood, his head bowed on his hand. What memories, bitter-sweet, did the song hold for him? I rose, and, stealing from the room, came softly up the stair. 'March 18th Uncle Don has gone back to Yonkers. It seems he has but come East on business, and leaves again in two days for California. Elise celebrated his departure with a series of un- maidenly shrieks. Dicky made H's all over the counterpane. " Dicky," I said suspiciously, as I put the coun- terpane in wash, " what does H stand for? " " Uncle Don," said Dicky. March 14th A letter from Mr. Holt, quite starchy with dig- nity. I wonder if he considers I strained the elastic of our contract when I refused to see him the other day? " My Dear Zoe: " I shall not come again, unless you send for me. The role of pursuing husband is one I do not care to THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 83 continue. Nor shall I insist further on giving you money. I am leaving, however, instructions with my bankers, Bernard and Littleton, to honor any draft you may make upon them. I urge that you avail yourself of this right, if on no other account, for the sake of a fellow-mortal who feels it his obli- gation " (What did I tell you, Jeremiah?) " to pro- tect and care for you. " Shortly before our marriage there was offered to me a piece of property in the West. I am leaving on Thursday to take another look at it. If it is what I think it is, I shall buy it and have it deeded to you. " Indisputably, you have the right to refuse it. " Equally you have the right to go and live on it, if ever you should feel the desire. " May I say to you, Zoe, that you did not look so well when I saw you last? The climate out there might do you good. " May I say, also, that I shall be gone, perhaps, a month, and that it might not be unbecoming in you to invite me to call before I leave? " DUDLEY." Certainly not. Pursuing husband! His obliga- tion ! I feel like making H's all over the counter- pane. March 16th He's gone. A box of roses came white ones 84 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE and in them a blank card inscribed with merely, " Good-by." It would be just like him to get himself banged up in a railroad wreck so that I'd feel remorseful for not begging him to stay. This is exasperating. I'm beginning to feel re- sponsible for him. It's those white roses. Night Jeremiah ! I set the roses in the hall just now, and the card fell from them, and turned over. It was Mr. Donald Vervaine's card. There! I feel no marital respon- sibilities whatever. However, a telegram came an hour ago, saying, " Take care of yourself. Dud- ley." It had been sent from Pittsburgh. So he's on the way. Now for peace. March 18th Uncle Don came back last night. He seems to have postponed his departure for the West. Mr. and Mrs. Vervaine were shut with him this afternoon in the library. Fifine says they had words very quiet ones, but, nevertheless, " words." I met him on the stair as he came up and thanked him for the roses. He said only, " May I see you in the library after dinner ? " " Why, yes," I answered, feeling cold all through. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 85 He knows. . . . Why should he interfere? March 19th I couldn't write last night. I came upstairs al- most too weak to stand. When finally I went to bed I couldn't sleep. Uncle Don was in the library before me, walking up and down. As I entered and stood waiting for the blow, he came forward and took my hand. And then . . . very gently, very honorably, he asked me to marry him. He said that he loved me, that he wanted me, and added quickly, " Don't an- swer me now. I know how you feel. But I can teach you to love me." " Oh, but I must answer you now," I said. And I told him. I told him everything, from the day Aunt Emmeline had said " I will give you two years," and a little bit before, down to that very hour. He stood like a man who has refused the anesthetic and submits in full consciousness to the surgeon's knife. I hated every minute of it. I hated myself for the deception that had made the interview possible. When I had finished he turned, his face white, as if the scalpel had required all his blood, and went over to the book-shelves and stood studying the back of a volume there as if he really saw it. I sat down on the chesterfield near, for I think I felt almost as ill as he did. 86 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE At last he came back and stood before me. " May I ask," he said, " what is the understand- ing between your husband and yourself, since he leaves you at Since he leaves you free ? " I know he started tc say " at large," Jeremiah, but was too kind. I answered, " He is willing that I do what I am doing." " And what is that ? Do you realize ? " " Why taking up my life where they broke the thread." " But you cannot do that not in the way you are attempting it. The world won't let you." He sat down beside me. Presently he asked, " Do you believe in divorce? " " I don't know," I answered. " You have thought about it ? " " What married person hasn't ? " " If you should ever love " " But I don't." " Give me leave," said Uncle Don, " and I will teach you." His hands folded over mine. I felt him trembling. " I don't want to be taught," I answered. " I want to know of myself." " How you would love ! " he said softly. " How you could ! " We rose together. " I am sorry ! " I broke forth. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 87 He winced. " Don't say that ! " he answered. And then he straightened himself slowly. " Good- by, little girl," he said. " Good-by," I whispered. Pressing my hand, he slowly let it fall. Then he opened the door for me, remaining in the library. Shortly after midnight I heard him come up to his room. I hope he tells Mrs. Vervaine all I told him. I hope he tells everybody. But he won't. If he doesn't I shall tell her myself. I can't go on with this another day. March 20th I had prayed for an opportunity to tell Mrs. Ver- vaine, and it came. It came, Jeremiah, and many other things have come. I was buttoning Elise into her white fur coat, for the day was cold and we were going for a ride. Dicky was struggling with his gloves and deplor- ing, as he always does, the superfluity of six of his fingers. Mrs. Vervaine came in. Her manner was very affable, and I was glad. Lately she had seemed vaguely displeased, and had found some fault with my work. " Let Fifine go with the children," she said to me. " I should like a little talk with you." 88 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE Dicky snatched off his glove and flung it on the floor. It fell at his mother's feet, like a challenge. He gulped. Elise lifted her chin. " You will do as I say," remarked her mother. The children withdrew in silence. Mrs. Vervaine sat down, motioning me to a chair opposite. " I notice a marked improvement in Elise's Eng- lish," she said. " Dicky's, too. And he doesn't dis- grace us at Sunday dinner, as he has been known to do." When I had thanked her, she paused and added, "They will miss their Uncle Don, now that he is gone." I hadn't known that he was gone, but I agreed that they no doubt would. She seemed annoyed with my answer and said, " You were sensible, Miss Darnelle, in declining his proposal. It would not have done in the least. I told him so beforehand." I braced myself. " No," I answered. " It would not have done. I am married already." The effect on her was electric. "You you when?" she stammered. "Not not here? " I think she was fearful I had seized on a footman, or, perhaps, Churchill, the butler. " Before I came," I said, thinking to relieve her mind. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 89 She paled. " Before before And you al- lowed me to think " She could not go on. Her nostrils widened. The large vein down her nose en- larged and grew dark. " How dare " She rose, gripping the chair-back. " Mrs. Vervaine," I said, as tranquilly as I could. " What possible difference could such a matter make in my work ? " " What difference? " she cried. " In every re- spect. It shows that you are treacherous and de- ceitful that there is something to hide. Where is your husband ? " This question had nothing to do with the matter in hand, but I answered that he was on his way out West. I made up my mind, however, that I would not tell her things she could not understand. " Isn't he able to take care of you? " " Yes, and very willing." " Then why don't you live with him? " In the silence that followed this question, I saw her face gradually change. " Ah ! " she cried sud- denly. " Then you are Fifine said that a man by the name of Holt called here one afternoon that the footman said he looked like the picture of That you looked like the picture in I shut her up. I told her it was impossible. But you are " She seemed unable to complete the accusation. " Yes, Mrs. Vervaine. I am that person. Fifine was right." 90 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " So so. And you have come to my house ! All this notoriety, leaving your husband because you weren't satisfied with the marriage settlement he had made ! Oh, I remember now As if that couldn't have been adjusted beforehand or quietly, at any rate! And a church wedding by a dean and a bishop " (I knew it, Jeremiah!) "And your aunt's kindness thanklessly flung aside turning yourself into a mere adventuress, running about the country, teaching your wiles to innocent children, inveigling men " She stopped as if from sheer lack of breath. My whole body had stiffened until it felt like a sword. " Mrs. Vervaine," I said, " if you will spare me your further opinions which cannot in the least con- cern me, I will consider myself discharged, and leave at once." " Certainly you are discharged ! " she shrieked. At that minute, footsteps that had been coming down the hall stopped at the nursery door. It was Mr. Vervaine, dressed for the automobile, and look- ing rather remonstrant. " My dear! Your voice ! " he ventured. Mrs. Vervaine turned. " Harold ! She is mar- ried!" " Yes, my dear," he answered after a moment. " So are you." THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 91 " She is that woman the one whose pictures we saw in all the papers leaving her husband, instead of arranging things beforehand. . . ." " Yes, my dear," he repeated, as if too weary to inquire into these allusions. " But whatever her rea- sons may have been, let us remember that they were her own." " You may go at once," she remarked to me. " I can't have such an influence around the children." My month was almost done, but to the moment of my departure she said nothing about paying me. Just before my trunk was taken out, however, Mr. Vervaine came in and laid the full check in my hand. At the door he stopped and said to me kindly, " I have no fault to find with you. Your work has been remarkably well done. But, as one much older than yourself, let me advise you, hereafter, to explain your married status. It will save difficulties and misunderstanding. Good-by, and good luck to you." The advice was fitting, but quite redundant. Hereafter I shall wear my married state like a placard. But difficulties must arise either way. When one has committed matrimony, one must do lock-step with her fellow criminal thereafter, for- ever. Unless, of course, she prefers the social electrocu- tion of a divorce. There is no reprieve. 92 I am back at Rebecca's. They received me gayly and restored me to Mr. Simms' room. The familiar rattle of crockery ascends from below. And I cannot help wondering what Dicky said when he came back from his ride Jeremiah, I'll ruin your complexion if I splash tears on you like this. March %3rd The round has begun again. But I always say " Mrs." now. I use my own name, but I put " Mrs." before it. And heaven witness my vow, if ever I have a daughter she shall face the world in the armor of some business training. Never shall she be dropped like a houseless snail into a live ant bed. March 24th Crowds crowds and bruised feet and aching head. And always Gray Coat moving before me or behind me like a shadow. Once through a strange, ill-smelling street he walked at my side, and to-day when I would have rung the bell at a house with drawn shades, I found him beside me on the step. " Not here," he said, and I saw that his hand covered the bell, so that I could not have rung it if I would. Too weary to protest, I turned away. Mrs. Hardy said to me to-night, " Why don't you make your husband love you, Zoe, if that's what's the matter? Go live with him, and win him. Then THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 93 no matter how he came to marry you, the result will be the same." " Teach you to love me," so said Uncle Don. " Make him love you," counsels Mrs. Hardy. It but remains for someone to advise, " Go out and buy love." Perhaps some people think they can, for winning and teaching in this connection, are merely other words for buying. Can one buy an honorable mind, a generous soul, purity, courage, content? Can one buy love? We rail at marriage, we who have not entered it aright we who have not entered it at all. I know now what marriage is. It is a walled garden with a great gate to which Love is the key. And those who would enter with- out opening the gate must creep beneath the wall or climb over. And all the fruit will be dust for the creepers and climbers. The flowers will wither at their touch. For them will be thorns and adders and bitter foun- tains and burning sands. Am I not right to turn away, rather than climb the wall? " And yet," says dear Rebecca, " some people marry with only friendship and are quite happy." 94 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " What does that prove," I answered, " except that friendship is love? " What is friendship, indeed, but Love with his eyes open? And he who thinks he buys friendship takes his parcel home to find inside only toleration, or gratitude, or pity never, never the shining, golden Key. And why why, when blind men and women have for pity, or gratitude or toleration, climbed into the garden, and found dust and brambles and bar- ren sands, why has the world so hung the inside wall with snags and cruelties, making the climbing out again so breaking a task so hard, indeed, that many lie where they fall, with no attempt at egress? Is it not because of this that we see hands reach- ing through the broken places in the wall, to clasp hands outside, or faces peering through the barred gate-way into faces beyond? Is it not because of this we see veiled forms crawl- ing from beneath the wall into the darkness outside, to gather in whispering pairs, and steal away into the night, returning before day with shamed faces and stumbling words ? For the wall is broken at the base, and the world does not care. IX March Rufus Honeywell called yesterday. It was a Sunday, and I had hoped to rest, but Rufus has always the knack of finding me in the hall. I was just coming upstairs, having helped Rebecca in the dining-room, and there stood Rufus, hat in hand. He appeared excited and approached me with the air of one too charged with his errand to fear a dis- missal. I suppose it was curiosity, or maybe, just surprise. I went with him into the parlor. " Miss Ballentyne," he began ; then, with some- thing like annoyance, " Oh, I know you've a married name, but I haven't heard it yet. It doesn't mat- ter" " You seem to know my other name pretty well," I observed. " Yes, and I know the terms of your contract with the man you were married to. I know everything except your present name. I could find it out by looking up old newspapers, but I tell you I don't care enough. I'm interested in the contract, that's all. 95 96 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE I want you to take advantage of its terms and marry me." " Is that what you came for? " "Yes. Will you do it?" " No," I said. " I tell you I need you bad. I'll make you love me." " You'll make me hate you." " Well, that's something. Listen. I'm leaving town in four days. I thought I could go without you, but I can't. Think a minute now. I've got money or will have when Granny But that's neither here nor there. I've good prospects. See that hand? It's a surgeon's hand. There's nothing I can't cut. With you at my side " " There's one thing I wish you'd cut," I inter- rupted, " and that's these visits to me. I thought you had something to tell me." "Well, for Haven't I told you something? Look here, Miss Ballentyne, I love you. I want you. Come on go West with me. Prove a year's resi- dence, and get a divorce. I know what's the matter. You don't believe me. You think I won't be waiting at the church, but I will." " I'd wait in a restaurant," I said. " You may get hungry." "That's final?" smiled Rufus. " Dr. Honeywell," I answered, " will you tell me, as one interested in the extraordinary, just which THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 97 of your charms you rely on as irresistible? Or is it their collected strength which gives you such confi- dence? " Rufus looked at me. " That's what I love about you, you shooting star! I love your beams and your sparkles and I love you when you burn my fingers ! But I won't argue with you not in this mood. I'm going now." He stopped, came closer, to me, and said, very softly, very slowly, " You're going to change your mind. You're coming with me." And in the same slow, careful way he told me the very day and hour and minute of his ridiculous old train. Then he went away. Night " Rebecca," I said to-night, " how in the world did Rufus Honeywell find out " " It was Mamma," said Rebecca. " I came back one evening while you were gone to find him talking with her. She hadn't told him your name, nor where you were, for I had warned her as to those, but she'd told everything else. Try to forgive her. Zoe " She stopped. "Yes?" " He told Mamma that he meant to get you if he had to carve the world in two. He's red-headed, you know." " I don't care if he's red-handed." 98 " He might make some sort of scandal, though. Mamma thinks he'll drive you to your husband. I think not, since your Aunt Emmeline failed." " Aunt Emmeline ! " I cried, sitting up I had gone to bed " She hasn't made one effort." " What else was her sending you away without any money ? " asked Rebecca. " I call that a very clever effort. She simply turned you loose on the world and trusted to its whips to drive you where you belonged. And he " she looked at me. " Ah, Zoe, he opened his arms straightway to shelter you, and since you preferred to stay out in the world, he would have wrapped you well against its blows, re- fusing the very advantage she gave." I was thinking of Aunt Emmeline. Right fair is her knowledge of human nature. Does she believe that some day in my trudging, I shall trudge wearily to him? March 27th Mrs. Hardy has what she thinks may be an open- ing for me. This cousin of hers this Theodore who used to be on a ranch has moved with his em- ployer to Acme, Texas, and has resumed his old oc- cupation of gardening. This employer wants a social secretary, and Theo- dore having told them that he has relatives in New York, was asked to see what he could do toward find- ing one here. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 99 " But to come from New York isn't all," appended Mrs. Hardy, turning over Theodore's letter rather worriedly. " You must be recommended by some- body with name one of the Four Hundred, the let- ter says for they want everything swell, now that they've left the ranch. And, mind you, Theodore says they keep up with all the doings here through the papers, and they know as much about the big folks as we do ourselves maybe more. You see they want to do in Acme just like the Four Hundred do in New York and they want a social secretary from the inside to show 'em how. You could do it, Zoe, if only Now your Aunt Emmeline's name " " Aunt Emmeline wouldn't recommend me," I has- tened to say. Yet what wouldn't I give to slip away to Acme or anywhere else at the world's edge, where the whips of life could not drive my trudging feet to Then all of a sudden I thought of Mrs. Coberton ! Her name is known wherever suffrage is discussed and she is my friend. So, after I had read Cousin Theodore's letter, and gotten some idea of what the people wanted, I went straight to see her. She was dictating a letter when I came in and motioned me brightly to a chair. Presently, dis- missing the stenographer, she said, smiling, " Have you come to help us?" Then as I hesitated, more 100 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE gravely, "You have come for help yourself. Isn't that it? " So I gave her my story. It was so different from the things she had read and heard in that connection, that I think she hardly recognized my case. " What courage, my child ! How plucky and how pathetic ! " She smiled. " I shall have to say as my mother said of such another instance this morn- ing, * It could happen only in this absurd twentieth century ! ' : "Is this century absurd?" I asked, thinking vaguely of its achievement and marveling at its won- derfulness. " To the older generation, yes. Suppose you went to sleep in your own little bed, and at daylight woke in strange quarters to the sound of unfamiliar cries. Would not reality seem a dream and all be- wildering? The marvels of the age they accept, for progress is visible when it works immediate good. But attack the institutions which our forefathers have helped unquestioningly to preserve, and hear the outcry. Create that chaos which Nietzsche tells us, gives birth to stars, and you become a center of war. If you are clad in the armor of a great creed and carry the sword of an invincible conviction, you may survive with many scars, but if " " I have only my ideals," I said. " Excalibur ! " she whispered. " -Yet even Arthur was wounded unto death." 101 " I understand," I answered. " You advise me" " Dear child," she said quickly, " I don't advise you. In a matter that concerns the growth of an- other individual, the law of another nature, who can counsel ? But I do regret " and here she smiled. " I do regret seeing one so young and lovely hurl herself against the time-grounded structure of matrimony. And so soon, too before she has en- deavored to discover if for her it might not prove a perfect shelter. But since you have " She straightened a little in her chair. " Since you have, let us see about these people who want a secretary. Where do they live ? " I told her. " I have a correspondent living in Acme," she said, " a worker in our cause. If you have not suffi- cient references I can wire inquiries of her." I told her all I had learned from Theodore's letter. " That should be enough," she said. " References from servants usually come from the ground up and are rather reliable. However, I shall wire my friend also. As for my name," with the genial flashing of her smile, " go with it as far as it will take you. Leave me the address. If the answer to my wire is satisfactory I will send a second message to the peo- ple themselves. It will save time." I rose, hesitating. One thing she appeared to have overlooked. 102 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " My qualifications," I reminded her. " You are certain of those? " She rose, also, laying a hand on my shoulder, and looking into my eyes. " Dear child," she said, " you are qualified to be anything you choose. You may ask of life what gift you will. Yet I pray that your choice will yet be to make a good man happy with heaven's own happiness." Now who would have looked for that from a suf- fragette? March 31st Jeremiah, beloved, I am going to Acme ! Mrs. Razor, herself, has telegraphed to Mrs. Co- berton and asks that I leave at once. I feel for the first time as if I had climbed up on a high place and was about to jump into what? Mrs. Hardy says this is because I am leaving old land-marks. That here I know I have friends, while there But I can make friends, perhaps. And maybe I shall meet Tubby. Tubby, that one living thread if he be still alive by which I might draw back into my life that whole golden tapes- try of happy days ! And perhaps I shall see the gulf again the beau- tiful southern sea, with its waves made of caresses and its white, white sand. Perhaps Ah, who knows what may come ? THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 103 I have been figuring. I hate it. The sight of an account book drives me ill, while by merely looking hard at the figure 8 I could go stark mad. However, I had to know something, and I ex- tracted my little book from the bottomest part of my trunk, and went to work. The result showed a most mournful deficit. That is, the expenses to Acme amounted by twenty dollars to more than I had on hand. I had just put down the pencil, feeling suddenly blank and empty, when Mrs. Hardy came in I am rooming with her now, for Mr. Simms has come back and laid three ten dollar bills right over the col- umn of crazy figures. " They are the identical same ones," she said. " You pinned 'em to your pillow, Zoe which wasn't nice." We had some words, but she kissed me and said something about my having been her guest and not enjoying my visit if I misbehaved. Poor people are good to one another, Jeremiah. Later Rebecca is to be married ! This very night ! Lit- tle did I think to connect the return of Mr. Simms with such a red-gold event as this ! Little did Re- becca, either, for that matter! For all he had done when he left was grip her hand and turn away and never a word had he said. He travels for a tea- 104 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE house and they had transferred him to some place away out in Arizona, which might as well be in the Canary Islands, and where you wouldn't suppose people ever bought tea. And they were paying him such a little, Jeremiah, hardly enough for a man to live on alone. So he just looked at Rebecca and dropped her hand, when he wanted to pull her away with him. And that's what he's going to do now, for they're sending him to San Francisco to take charge of a whole house of tea, and they're going to pay him a big salary, for he'll be a big man! And he's just come flying back to pack up his things and get Re- becca, and go flying away again. Oh, I'm so happy ! I've given Rebecca my chinchilla coat for a wed- ding present. She didn't want to take it, but I made her. And she's to be married to-night down in the par- lor. We all three leave right after. Our trains are only ten minutes apart. Night It was a beautiful wedding, Jeremiah. Just Mrs. Hardy and I and some of the boarders and, of course, the minister. Rebecca wore the gray suit she got this winter and the little chinchilla hat which goes with the coat. It's dreadfully cold for March. Mr. Simms had brought her a cluster of red meteor roses, and she had pinned these at her THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 105 breast, and her face was all full of beautiful light, as if deep inside her heart were fairly afire with love and hope. And I thought of the little pinafores she used to wear, and the round-comb and her worn books and sturdy, trudging shoes. I thought of the cellar steps where we had kissed " good-by." And all the time I was looking into the face of the strong, kind man who was being made her husband, and my heart brimmed to the breaking point with pride and thank- fulness. Oh, how beautiful marriage can be, when it is like this! I've written good-bys to Katy and Aunt Emmeline, but I didn't tell them where I'm going. I mean to hide myself. I am taking all my trunks, and I dare say it will look queer but let us hope they will suppose this the proper equipment for a New York lady secretary! And now, Jeremiah, I've only a minute to tuck you in the bag and say " good-by " to dear Mrs. Hardy, who in the field of copious weeping, is with- out a peer. She drenched Rebecca's beautiful lace jabot, and still had a sufficient shower on hand to christen the shoulder of my new black suit. It's beautiful to be wept over. I felt like a plant being watered. A letter from Dicky came to-day. I'm saving it to read on the train. 106 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE Aboard the Southbound, April 1st Rebecca's gone. They stood on the porch of the observation car and waved to me as they departed into the night. And it looked to me, standing there between my satchels, it looked to me as if around them shone a halo of holy light. God bless them! God bless them wherever they are! April 2nd Oh, my heaven ! Rufus Honeywell is on this train ! I didn't know it until I went in to breakfast. And there I saw him, sitting at a table, laid for two, the vacant chair opposite him turned on its knees, face to the table, as if praying aggressively to be left alone. I must have betrayed my astonishment at sight of him, for there came to me a wild impulse to turn back into my own coach. But Rufus' face was a study in pleasant greeting and subdued delight. He evinced not the least surprise, but, speaking to his waiter, let his eye travel significantly from mine to the vacant chair. The waiter came toward me, lifting a finger. I marched straight past him and settled myself at the far end of the car, my back to Rufus. The place was deserted except for us and an elderly couple near me who were discussing Mormons or it may have been Normals. I was dreadfully upset. They went THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 107 out presently, I gave my order to the waiter, and after a time Rufus, passing to his coach, stopped at my side, speaking softly. "Plucky little girl!" he said. "God bless you for this ! But your're right to stay apart from me till we get further along, at any rate. There might be somebody " " I don't know what " I indignantly began, but he didn't wait. " Maybe you think I wasn't glad," he whispered, " when I saw your face in the station last night. I swear I'd have turned back and gotten you if you hadn't come. I tried to go in and see you right after we started, but I couldn't. I've got a patient with me. He had a bad night. See you later " And he went out just as my waiter came in. I had kept my head turned and was looking out the window all the time he was talking, but this seemed to be pre- cisely what he had expected me to do. I'll interrupt when he sees me later. I opened Dicky's letter. It held two words, strag- gling gigantically across the page. They were,. " Come Home." Later Rufus has been in. He threw some magazines on the seat opposite^ sat down beside me, informed me that his patient was doing very well and that nobody he knew was on the 108 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE train. Then he tried to take my hand and I inter- rupted. I told him briefly and firmly that if I had known he was aboard I would have avoided this train as carefully as if it had been carrying a consignment of small-pox patients to Gehenna; that I hadn't lis- tened or cared when he told me what train he meant to take, and that if he felt it his role to annoy me any further I should speak to the porter. Rufus smiled tolerantly. " Little girl," he said, " why must you spoil what I consider downright bully and altogether fine? You've made me so happy I can't sleep, and you've shown a pluck and a courage that make me feel how unworthy I am " " I wish you did feel it ! " I bit off. " It would help you to believe me when I say I wouldn't have the pluck to go with you, and haven't displayed it. I'd get off this train right now if I hadn't my berth paid for" Rufus straightened and faced me. " Look here," he said stolidly, " I know a thing or two. I knew when I looked in your eyes that day and told you without any quibbling what train I meant to take and what you could do or not do I knew you'd come. And I know, too, that the way to handle you is not to spread honey and coax you, but to catch you by your wings and carry you off. So. That's what you like." THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 109 " It is? " I inquired. " Well, we'll see how that procedure appeals to you, when I recommend it to the porter." I turned to the bell. But I did want him to go without a scene, if I could manage it. Rufus laid what he calls his surgeon's hand over mine and spoke with what he no doubt considers his soothing surgeon's tone. " You wouldn't go that far. Besides, if you did, my patient, being one of the bosses of the road, would never let them eject his physician. And if you should push me out of the window yourself, he'd merely command a special train to pick me up and bring me back to him. I love you, didn't I tell you, even when you burn my fingers. But don't let's play in the fire all day ! When we get to New Mexico " " Just a minute," I said. A sudden inspiration had seized me. " I see I must tell you the truth. I haven't wanted to, for it's it's so very personal. But I didn't know you were on this train. I don't wonder you thought I did, but it was an accident. I am not on my way to New Mexico. I am on my way to my husband. We've made up. He may come aboard at any minute." Rufus looked at me. " What? " he said. I met his eyes squarely. Part of it was true, any- way. He rose. "I I leave you, then," he remarked, a bit breathlessly, " to your reunion." He went out. I haven't seen him since. 110 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE April 3rd I am suddenly bewildered. Not about Rufus. Rufus is gone. But about my name! What did Mrs. Coberton call me when she wired the Razors ? My trunks are all marked " Ballentyne," and my bags. Perhaps I'd better hold to that. Aye, Rufus is gone without looking back. He left us at St. Louis, supporting a man wrapped in a steamer rug, terribly thin. A nurse followed them, carrying a camp stool. Rufus looked ruddy, indeed, beside that mournful figure. Yes, I shall go back to the Ballentyne. A woman takes her husband's name, I understand, only by courtesy. But I shall hold to the Mrs. Come what may, I shall not let fall the Mrs.! April 5th Well, Jeremiah, we're here. We arrived last night. There was a lean, shuffling man with a kind face and a big limousine. He sat in the back with me and was silent after his first, " Miss Miss " " Mrs.," I corrected at once. " Mrs. " he repeated, abashed. " Ballentyne," I informed him. " Yes, ma'am," he accepted. " Razor's my name." There were a few miles of thoroughfare for Acme is bigger than I had any idea then a stretch of pruned country roadway, blossomy beneath the moon and guarded here and there by great houses, set back on rolling terraces. We passed through a great gate between softly shining mediaeval lamps, circled a fountain and halted shortly before broad stone steps. I have a confused recollection of entering a bril- liant hall and beholding straightway a large woman in a satin gown, a bright-haired girl and an old lady with an ear-trumpet. They had met me as we opened the door, and I felt their various inspections. The large lady, it turned out, was Mrs. Razor. Ill She said, " You may as well go upstairs, Miss ; Excuse me, but we never did get the name. Mrs. Coberton didn't mention it." " Ballentyne," Mr. Razor informed her at once. " Mrs. Ballentyne," I said. " All right," agreed Mrs. Razor. " Go upstairs with her, Claire." So Claire with her bright hair led the way to my room, which is just off hers, and as pink as the inside of a shell. I slept like a door mat, and this morning I was late for breakfast. The family, it appears, rise with the sun, and I should have eaten alone, had not Mrs. Razor come into the breakfast room and sat with me. The duties of a secretary, as outlined by her, are rather broad and various. First of all, I am a com- panion to Claire. In addition, I am to compose her letters, that is, the formal ones, for Claire, it seems, is addicted to bluntness in her correspondence. Moreover, I am to be for all a manual of etiquette, a shining example and a vigilant chaperon. Finally, Mrs. Razor remarked, " I wired Mrs. Coberton I would pay you what- ever salary was right. What've you been getting? " I told her. " But, honey," she said compassionately smiling, " you couldn't live on forty dollars a month ! More- over, I don't want no cheap secretary. We'll start you out at, say, seventy-five." THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 113 I humbly accepted her ruling. " I thought from what the lady wired you must be an old maid," continued Mrs. Razor, large and tightly girded, in her lacey morning jacket, her kind face beaming beneath an elaborate coiffure. " I'm surprised at your being so young. I'm glad you've been married, though. Makes you better for a chaperon. Husband dead ? " I shook my head. She laid a large warm hand over mine. " Never mind, honey," she remarked. " There lots of cases like yours, right here in Acme and everywhere else, I reckon. Some day you can tell me all about it. Finish your breakfast now. Claire's waiting to take you for a ride." True enough, she was in a long, low, vicious looking racer, her bright hair topped by a boy's leather cap. Away we sailed, into the brightest, softest April morning I have ever seen ! There is a great deal of Acme beautiful houses with flowery lawns, crowded city streets, sky- scrapers, too, and noisy whirring of the wheels of trade. And, oh, the bloom and green glory of the country ways ! But no sea ! When I asked Claire about the gulf, she laughed. " The whole State is between us and the sea ! " she said. Spring is in full tide. The sky is like an unfurled iris, the sunlight dazzling and already warm. " How beautifully you drive ! " I said, for Claire THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE had guided the long-nosed racer through the crowded traffic with an almost uncanny dexterity. She turned her eyes to mine. They were just the iris-blue of the sky, and her hair, blowing beneath her boy's cap, was like sunlight. She was a verita- ble incarnation of the April day. " I love the car," she answered. " It's all that reconciles me to the town." " Don't you like Acme ? " I asked. She turned into a country lane. "How should I like it?" she said. "We don't belong here. Mamma tries to fit us in. She sent me away first, and had me polished, as she calls it but they merely rubbed the skin off me until I feel more than ever " She stopped. " They do nothing but laugh at us here," she added bitterly. " You'll see." " But how could anybody laugh at you? " I ven- tured. " Oh, not at me, perhaps. It's Dad they laugh at, and Mamma. Only Mamma won't see. I can't do anything with her. That's why I persuaded her to send for you. You'll keep her from doing the ridiculous thing, I believe. But nobody can manage Dad and Grandma. And we all hate it so here all except Mamma. Why I'd give the whole town for one day on the ranch one day." I was brooding rather uncomfortably over this THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 115 new responsibility connected with Mrs. Razor, but I managed to say, " Still you have the car." " You ought to see Florita ! " she flashed at me. " She's better than any car. To feel her breathing and bounding beneath you, with the world stretched out before you and the wind in your face " She threw back her head, drawing a deep breath. " All the time I was at school, I lived only to get back And now " " But why don't you go back? " I asked as she stopped. She did not answer at first, then she said, " They've sold it the ranch. They think I don't know but I do. Poor Dad ! " She turned to me, laugh- ing and blinking. " You see, so long as we kept it, he'd sneak off and go back. It was in the nature of a dissipation. Mamma said he'd never grow citi- fied so long as he kept hobnobbing with cows and canyons. So she worked it. It's gone. She said very little about me, but I know I was another reason for selling it. I hope you'll get to see it. It's the prettiest ranch in the whole country. Theodore has made it famous with his dug-out. He planted a wilderness of flowers about it and flowers aren't common on ranches." I asked to meet Theodore, having many messages for him, and we entered the home grounds by way of the gardener's lodge, a quaint little bungalow, built 116 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE of the same stone as the great house proper, and nestling in a field of larkspurs. A woman opened the door as we approached, and laid a sleeping baby in its little cart. " Good morning, Bess," said Claire. " Where's Theodore?" " In the green-houses," answered the woman, lightly joggling the cart. " So Theodore's married," I said, as we rode on. " Oh, yes ! He married a nester's daughter a squatter, that is shortly after he came to us. Look!" For like a flock of startled butterflies, four cropped yellow heads rose from amid the larkspurs and dis- appeared behind the house. " Wild as rabbits," smiled Claire. " Born in the dug-out, you know. Never used to see a soul." " Theodore's babies ? " I asked. I was thinking, " Rebecca's cousins ! " " Yes," said Claire. " And all named for flowers. Rose, and Violet, and Mignonette." " Good there wasn't a boy," I said. " The oldest is a boy. Sweet William." At the green-house we met Theodore, a sturdy, strapping lad, with stubbly beard and eyes like Re- becca's. He must have married while still in kinder- garten; judging by his progeny! I gave him Mrs. Hardy's remembrances and told him about Rebecca's marriage. 117 He seemed gratified to learn of their removal to San Francisco. " I been there," he said. " How well the red plumbago looks ! " said Claire. Then, to me, " Theodore's a wizard when it comes to flowers." The boy did not disclaim this title. " Seems like they laugh," he said, " when I come 'round." He gathered a golden tulip and gave it to me. It did seem to be laughing, really ! I have written to Rebecca. How she will smile at the thought of Sweet William ! April 6th Last night I dreamed that I had climbed onto a high place and jumped. The high place was a towea builded of Dicky's blocks. It leaned with my weight like the tower of Pisa. When I jumped it sprang straight, and I landed in a big soft bed with a pink canopy! I was broad awake and Claire was humming softly in the next room. She hushed as soon as I stirred. April 7th This morning Mrs. Culpepper that's the deaf old lady, Mrs. Razor's mother came into my room, leading almost by force, a half grown boy, with a shock of light hair and a very red face. " Andy," said the old lady, " meet Mrs. Ballen- tyne." 118 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE A blundering hand-shake followed. " I told him," explained Mrs. Culpepper, " that ef he'd come up and git acquainted, he'd not be so skeered. He's been eatin' in the kitchen ever sence " Andy made a lurch toward the door. " None o' that ! " said Mrs. Culpepper, lurching with him. " It's like hosses," she explained to me. " Let 'em git a good look at what skeers 'em, and they go past all right. Now look at Mrs. Ballen- tyne, Andy. Look at her." But poor Andy gazed only at the rug, his blush exploring the very depths of his hair. I felt almost as unhappy as he. Never before had I beheld a young man so forcibly dragged to my feet. That is, if any had felt such aversion he had evinced less candor. But I managed to say, " I think we'll get on all right, Andy. Can you drive the racer? " " Naw. Claire's put a queer-ino on it." But he had lifted his eyes. They shone. " I'll fix it," I said confidently. " I want to ride with you." We were obliged to repeat these remarks into Mrs. Culpepper's trumpet, and she presently went out, leading Andy. Claire and I have been answering invitations. Eas- ter week promises to be gay. Mrs. Razor, more- over, is fermenting with prospects of a party on her THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 119 own score. " I want to give something new," she said to me. " What have you been to lately in New York?" I could think of nothing more recent than Mrs. Vervaine's cotillion, and I described that function to her, thankful that I had had an intimate fore-knowl- edge of the favors and figures. " We'll give a cotillion," said Mrs. Razor. Mr. Razor has gone to the ranch. I think his visit has something to do with the recent sale. I know only that both Claire and her father seem depressed. April 8th Said Mrs. Razor to me to-day, " The man tells me you haven't finished unpacking, so he can't take your trunks down." I explained that I had not intended entirely to unpack. " And why not ? " she asked. " Because some of them hardly seem My clothes, I mean " "Well?" She sat down. Claire was waiting, too, standing in the door that leads into her room. " Do you mean," said Mrs. Razor, " that they don't seem like the kind of things a secretary ought to wear? Well, I want it understood, here and now, you ain't no ordinary secretary. The Razors ain't 120 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE doin' things in an ordinary way, and the sooner Acme finds it out, the better." She rose. " Unpack every- thing you've got. Every smidgeon. Claire, ring for M'ree to help her. Here, M'ree, unpack this lady's trunk. I want to pick out what she's to wear Thurs- day night." She finally chose a dress of rosy silk with golden butterflies tangled in its veiling of misty lace. It is an imported thing, an actual bit of poetry. Ninon had said a princess wanted it. Mrs. Razor patted my shoulder. " We'll catch a heart-healer in that I " she said. " Now now, don't feel hurt ! There's lots of good catches in Acme. Already, that young Jordan one of the best saw you out ridin' yesterday with Claire, and asked to call." And she stalked out, beaming, while Marie hung the pink dress carefully away. April 9th We have spent this golden Sunday addressing in- vitations to the cotillion. Poor Andy has been all day in the library licking flaps ! I heard him say to Claire, " What you going to gimme for this ? " " What do you want ? " she hedged. "Lemme take Miss Ballentyne out in the racer," he answered. " You'd better say Mrs.," corrected Claire. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 121 " She'll call you down, if you don't. You'd think to hear her pronounce it, that nobody ever was a Mrs. before." "What makes you so spiteful?" asked Andy. " Maybe you'll draw that title yet." " You shall never drive the racer ! " cried Claire. " All right. I'll mail no more letters either," re- torted Andy. There was silence. April 10th Jeremiah! It began like this. Mrs. Razor came into my room, looked all about, shut both the doors and locked them. Then she sat down. " There's something I must explain, Mrs. Ballen- tyne," she said. " Claire'll be in to see you pretty soon, herself, and you mustn't let on If she senses I've spoken to you " I nodded my vow to keep the interview quite dark, and she went on more confidently. " Claire thinks I don't see, and I'm determined this thing shall end in the right way. You see Claire's blunt, just like I told you and when a girl's in love, she acts extra queer. Maybe you remember how it was, yourself. Anyhow, Claire must encourage the man more, or she'll come to grief. ... I never saw a more elegant man a real south- ern gentleman. You'll say so yourself, when you 122 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE meet him Thursday night. And, for him, the sun lit'rally rises and sets in Claire. The things he does to be close to her! Do you know he's actually bought the ranch to keep somebody from taking it away from her? / didn't know who was a-buyin' it, and neither did she. He bought it through an agent. Now the last time he was here she played the indifferent so far that the man got downright disheartened and went off and took up with a female an actress. She inveegled him into a real mar- riage, too, bless you ! But afterwards the scales fell off his sight and he got a divorce. The woman's hopped off to Asia Minor or somewhere, and back he's come here, like I say, buyin' the ranch. Out there, now, he is fixin' up the abstract with Lem- uel. It's high time for Claire to show her real feel- in's a little, don't you think? " " But perhaps she's disgusted with his " " Divorce ? Why, honey, no ! Get that nonsense out of your head. I told you didn't I ? there was lots of that sort of thing goin' on. Divorce is like marriage, child. It's necessary for purposes of honesty." " I didn't mean that. I was thinking that per- haps his fickleness has shown her that he is too easily consoled." " Not at all. I think it's opened her eyes to her own foolishness. If a man'll get married to a chorus girl to console himself, he might do some- THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 123 thing real desperate another time. Besides, you know, he wasn't consoled." There was a tap at the door. Mrs. Razor rose to open it. " Remember now," she cautioned. " She's comin' in to write him a letter and she's to show him her feelings. You'll know how much." And she went out. Claire came in, carrying her portfolio of mono- gramed paper, and sat down beside me on the win- dow seat. Her explanation was brief and tallied very lit- tle with her mother's. However, remembering my in- structions, we evolved a composition designed to place a lady's heart, delicately veiled, upon her sleeve. In a postscript the enlightened swain was urged not to forget the cotillion on next Thursday night. Claire added that herself. " I'll go now and copy it," she said finally. " Then I'll bring it to you to look over." True to her word, she presently returned, and laid the completed document in my hand. But I got no further than the envelope in which it was encased. There I stopped and I think I went white. It bore the name of Mr. Dudley Richardson Holt. XI I am going away. April 12th On second thoughts I have decided to stay. If, after all, I came between these two I, the female who has gone to Asia Minor ! was it not destined, perhaps, that I should come here and re- unite them? If he loves Claire, as her mother says, he shall have her. At least Mrs. Razor has received one pearl of truth in all the trashy account of his marriage: He was inveigled into it. But I shall not go down to-morrow night. I could not bear to meet him in all that crowd. April 13th There seems to be no way out of it. I must go down. I promised Claire I would help care for the guests, and Mrs. Razor expects me to steal out to the kitchen when the time comes, and direct the exodus of re- freshments. 124, THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 125 " I want everything carried on in New York style," she explained. And then, too, I am curious to know what his face will be like when he sees Claire again. I believe I shall know that minute if he really loves her. And for purposes of psychological ex- periment, as the science teacher used to say I should like to watch what he does when he sees me. Later A tap at my door just now and there stood Andy with a package. On a nest of white satin lay a lit- tle Juliet cap of pink sapphires. " For to-night," said the card. " From Claire." Night I cannot go down. I am all dressed I think, perhaps, I dressed too early and I am writing to keep my hands from fidgeting. He is here here m this house. Oh, I know my little tape-line would go around the earth easily ! Surely it is the very tiniest of all those stars that strew the great, dim vault out there ! An hour ago I heard his voice in the hall. It was then half-past seven, and he and Mr. Razor were coming upstairs. They had just got in. The voice said, " Which way, Mrs. Razor? " 126 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE For a minute I felt as if she had motioned him to my room where I sat at the dressing-table, brushing my hair. But after a moment a door closed down the hall, and I heard Mrs. Razor tell Marie that Mr. Holt would remain the week-end. The carriages are still arriving, automobiles of every size and sound. They come in at either of the great stone gates, pass the fountain, and disappear as they reach the steps where liveried footmen wait to receive their occupants. How beautifully these women dress! More beau- tifully and more lavishly than those in New York. My door is open and they pass now and then on their way to the dressing-room, beautifully gowned, beautifully coiffured, gracious, radiant I am wondering how, having met the women of all lands, he should have consented, even under stress, to marry me. . . . April Someone was knocking at my door. " Come in ! " I said. It was Claire. Lovely indeed, she looked, with her shimmering hair and her turquoise-colored gown. Behind her gloomed Andy, encased in his best clothes. " The music has started ! " cried Claire. "Hurry!" THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 127 Then suddenly, " Oh, Zoe ! How beautiful how beautiful you are ! " " You're a melon ! " remarked Andy. " It's the Juliet cap," I answered. And I thanked her for it, then and there. " No, it's your arms," she said. " They are adorable. Turn around one of your butterflies is loose. There ! Come now ! Hear the music ! " And that was how I went nerved by their praises, bless their kind, frank hearts ! Andy mumbled at the door. I bent my ear down. " Gimme the first extra," he repeated. I promised. The cotillion was not to begin until after supper. Andy disappeared and Claire and I passed down the grand stair, descending into the hall where the guests were gathering. And there at the foot of the stair, Tie was stand- ing, talking with a woman who laughed up into his face. Something she said caused him to turn, and he looked straight at us. I saw his face whiten and change, then quickly he smiled, nodding in answer to the woman. " Yes, very pretty," he said. " Very pretty, in- deed." And he came forward at once, receiving Claire's outstretched hand, and looking inquiringly toward me. It was the look of a man who awaits an introduction. 128 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " Mrs. Ballentyne, Mr. Holt," pronounced Claire, and we shook hands. He took some dances with Claire I couldn't see how many and then he inquired, " Are you danc- ing to-night, Mrs. . . . Ballentyne? " I decided to dance. He took the seventh a waltz. Then bowing to the correct degree of courteous gratitude, he moved away, for sundry cavaliers were beginning to surge toward the spot. It was not the way the scene would have been managed had I, and not a Fate, careless of detail, been in control. I should have gone up to him, looked into his face with a look that he alone would have understood, and taking Claire's hand, have laid it in his with a gesture of calm and complete sur- render. Then I should have explained to the won- dering Claire just who and what I was. However, I didn't think of this in time, and besides the crowded hall made such an act impossible. I might have ar- ranged for it later, but his surprising sang froid had befuddled my ideas. Other people's serenity is always upsetting to our own. I think the shock of his lack of shock was what confused me into giving him that dance. I decided straightway that I would hide in the con- servatory when the seventh waltz started. . . . " I beg your pardon ! " A nice blond boy was reaching for my programme. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 129 He had been introduced and I had consented to dance with him, all the while I was planning to escape from that seventh waltz. There were four others looking over his shoulder, and I realized that they, too, had been severally presented and were doing their duties in requesting the honor of a turn. I gave my programme to the one in the middle and let them, settle it among themselves. And Claire continued to present, and they continued to request, until it seemed to me for a while that the world was noth- ing but a succession of dress suits and white ties with an occasional gardenia. Then finally, they all got through and I walked off with a gentleman so tall that I had to lean my head at right angles to my spine to hear what he said. I chanced shortly to look at my programme and found it so scratched and clawed and x'd that I decided I'd have to trust to Providence to separate the signers into individ- uals. Nothing was legible on the whole card ex- cept the name written after the seventh dance. I was threading the mazes of the Grand March with the tall man. Claire was leading with a dark young person whom they called " Brett." Brett Jordan, I learned his name was. Mr. Holt I saw standing apart, in the company of a white-haired lady in silver brocade. The ranch has browned him, and he seems, somehow, ruggeder. As we passed, an electric look flashed between him and Claire. Claire smiled and moved on, her face 130 shining. She seemed, now, to be treading on rosy clouds, her gaze fixed on the bright open door of a star. The tall man caught me about the waist and we stepped into the heart of the dance. Then one after another, the men came for me, being able to read their own programmes. And they asked me about New York most of them know it as well as I do and how I liked it here, and had I been out to El Leona which is the name of the ranch and wouldn't I like some punch. And then we would dance some more, and chat some more, and visit the punch which was very mild, and supplemented by certain bottles which the black boy, Sam, handed over the smilax-draped table to any gentleman who even hinted a preference for the fountain undefiled. And then, after a time, came the seventh dance. I had kept an accurate account of the numbers, and I said to the young man it happened to be Mr. Brett Jordan that I had some- thing to see to in the conservatory. The musicians were hidden there, and I did actually stop at their corner and say something about playing that lovely Mexican thing again. Then I slipped behind a palm and sat down on a bench. But I was not alone. Mrs. Culpepper was there, all in lilac satin and point de Venise, with her shoes off. Her trumpet was turned toward the musicians. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 131 " Howdy, honey? " she said pleasantly. " I come in here to ketch the music. It's so bothersome watchin' 'em dance and not hearin' nothing. Ah, now ! There comes Mr. Holt ! He's what I call a handsome man." There was a door just behind us, and, having mur- mured my adieux to the trumpet, I made my exit thereby. It led into a back stairway which communicated with the main flight at the first landing. At this eminence I paused and looked down upon the scene in the hall. What I beheld turned my terror into profound amazement. I saw Mr. Holt come in, look all about, speak a hurried word to Claire, who was flitting by, then turn agreeably and proffer his arm to a lady in a twinkling pink dress. It was the lady who had laughed up into his face. They passed into the ball room. I made my way to my room and sat down. I opened you up, Jeremiah, and thought I would work off my feelings by telling you about the deco- rations. Of course what Mr. Holt had done could make no difference to me. I was merely puzzled. However, at that minute Andy came in. I had seen him sitting alone on the landing as I came up- stairs. At my invitation he sat down in the wicker rocker. 132 "What you doing here?" he asked presently, in his shy, husky voice. " I'm tired," I fibbed. " What's that book? " he inquired. I laughed. " Lamentations to Jeremiah," I said. He looked his interest. " You writin' a Bible ? " " No, Andy, really. It's supposed to be a Honey- moon Journal. But I've never been on a honey- moon." "Wouldn't he take you? Gee! He must have been a piker ! " His indignation had brought a clearer note to his voice. " Say," he said. " Jordan'll take you on a honey- moon. He said so." " That's nice of him, Andy. But I'd rather go with you." Andy's eyes fell. " Claire'll let me take you ridin' in the racer," he compromised, " if you ask her." I promised I would. Suddenly he rose. " The music's stopped," he said. " You got this next dance? " I said that I had, and began to smooth my hair at the mirror. " I think you owe me another," he remarked as we went down the stair. " But the first extra is coming," I answered. " And I haven't any more." THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 133 Andy stopped short. " This was the first extra ! " he shouted. " They're startin' the seventh ! " And there stood Mr. Holt at the foot of the stair ! In a sort of daze I went with him. We threaded our way slowly into the ball room, and he took me in his arms. . . . From the conservatory floated the Mexican waltz, dreamful, tender and soft, now suddenly crashing sweet, as if in an ecstasy of untrammeled joy, now wild and mysterious and low, a tangle of minors, all pleading and hot tears, now soaring like a tropic wind, up, up into the clouds, lost in the blue spaces beyond the stars, now returning, fraught with the wonder of heaven, yet enamored still of earth, sink- ing asleep at last amid strange sea-murmur and the fragrance of roses, with an exquisite, dying whisper of Love Love Love! I had soared and sunk with the music, from the sea-depths to the blue wild peaks; now glad, now sad, now dreamy with strange sorrow, now stabbed awake with keenest joy, wondering, wistful, unafraid until at last he released me, and we stood face to face. " Take me where it is cool ! " I whispered. They were clapping all about us, calling for an encore. Had they not heard what I heard in the music? Could they brave that delirious journey again so soon? (Ah, there is magic in that Mex- 134 lean music ! I must learn it and play it, and sing it, too, if there are words.) He led me to the veranda. A cool breeze was blowing from the elm trees. The night was all about us, and the stars. From the conservatory came the reawakened music a one-step, rolick- ing, gleeful, light of heart. " Mrs. Ballentyne? " he said to this bantering ac- companiment. " Is that what I am to under- stand? " I nodded quickly. " I came here," I said, " be- cause it was an opening all I had. I had no idea that you " " I understand," he answered. " And you wish " He waited. " They know I am married," I said, " but not to whom. Neither of us is bound. You remember that?" I spoke hurriedly, fearing an interruption. " I remember perfectly," he answered. Then the interruption came. The nice blond young man walked directly up to us in the dark and said, " No escape, Mrs. Ballentyne. I saw you when you came." So the three of us went into the hall together. Near the door a group was chatting casually. " Some party ! " one of them remarked a large, FROM THE CONSERVATORY FLOATED THE MEXICAN WALTZ, DREAMY, TENDER AND SOFT. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 135 flushed man to whom I had seen Sam passing bottles. " Well put on." " Influence of the new secretary, no doubt," said another. "Who is she?" The blond young man had trodden on my dress and I was forced to delay until the answer came. A woman gave it. " She's a little grass widow from New York." " Deuced pretty girl," said the man of the bot- tles. The blond boy's arm tightened on mine. He glared at the group, but none of them saw us. Mr. Holt closed the door behind us and remained on the piazza. (So, in spite of the " Mrs.," I am shorn of a hus- band!) I whirled through two more dances and then went out with Mrs. Razor. She had tied a checked apron over her velvet gown and, together, we superintended the machinery of supper. The caterer was in a state of some agitation and received us gratefully. Afterwards I assorted favors for the coming cotil- lion, and gave some instructions to the musicians about the order of figures. Then I went out to be alone on the east veranda. The late moon was rising, all lop-sided, as if he had been detained below by some dread encounter. 136 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE He lit up two figures sitting near the last column. They were talking, and the woman said, " If you knew what it has been since you left ! " Thd voice was Claire's, and it trembled. The man spoke after a pause. " But you promise me to wait ? " he asked. " Yes," she said. " I promise." He leaned over and took her hand, pressing it long. His face came full into the moonlight. It was Mr. Holt. I turned my eyes away. The music woke in the conservatory, and presently they rose, leaving the remnant of their supper on the rustic table, the glasses glittering beneath the moon. I shrank into the shadow and they passed in silence. At the door Claire turned and looked at her com- panion. The hall light showed me her face with a smile on her lips and the tears brimming in her eyes. The cotillion went in a slow, dizzying whirl. I found myself often in the presence of Mr. Jor- Idan and the blond young man. I did not see Mr. Holt. After a long while I was in my room, listening to the out-going motors, and the laughter of throngs dissolving in the halls. Then came stillness, lonely and profound, the stillness that follows a party. I sat in the dark and thought of the night of my THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 137 wedding. Then, gradually, I undressed and crept into bed. My windows were open and the moon was singing his way across the sky. All hammered, all lop-sided, he was, but plowing along just the same. Softly my inner door opened, and a slim figure in a long pink night-slip stole into the room. It was Claire. She drew my covers down and crept into bed with me. There, she laid her head on my shoulder and began softly, suppressedly, to sob, clinging to my arm. I laid my other arm about her. " I am so happy ! " she breathed. The broken moon sang itself out of sight. A cold wind came in at the open windows, a small, shiver- ing wind, like a little ghost creeping back from the world's edge because it is afraid. Claire stirred and sat upright. " I will go," she whispered. " You must sleep." And when she had slipped from the bed, she bent over me and left a shy, quick kiss on my cheek. Then her bare feet stole across the room and she was gone. I must have slept at last for I dreamed that I was trying hard, hard, to climb back on the tower of Dicky's blocks which had straightened and grown tall. But waves and sharp rocks were about its base and when I essayed to mount, they buffeted me and bruised my knees. My hands slipped on the wet, smooth sides and in my useless struggles I cried out, " Aunt Emmeline, why did you build so high ? " He is sleeping down the hall, two doors from me. 138 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE This little ghost of a wind is stealing in at his win- dow, is tip-toeing about his room, bringing him dreams happier ones, I hope, than it has brought to me. I hear it in Claire's room, too, the little wind, stirring the forgotten programme on the floor. " Ich weis nicht wass soil es bedeuten . . ." Is widowhood a mockery when it is life who robs us instead of death? Straw widows, you are well named ! Like grass have your hopes been trodden under- foot. Like grass have you been bowed by strange winds and scorched by bitter suns, till life was burned out of your hearts and mowing time seemed sweet ! I, who have not known the flowering, nor the com- ing of the breeze, nor sun, nor rain, I give myself, also, to the reaping. The dawn is reddening in the east . . . faintly, at first, now rosily . . . now redly, redly, like an awakening heart . . . like a heart stirring softly with life . . . throbbing, pulsing, conscious of fire. And out of the dawn comes a Voice . . . still and small ... a voice crying, " Thou Fool! " XII r AprU 15th Andy and I have been riding in the racer. We were caught in a rain storm and got soggy wet. The family met us on our return, showering poor Andy with invectives and pushing me upstairs to change my clothes. On the second floor, face to face, I met Mr. Holt. " What ever " he began. Then he stopped. " Didn't you know it was beginning to storm ? Do you realize what storms in this latitude may be? And with that boy " " The boy's not harmed," I answered, " unless the family kill him." I tried to get by. I felt dreadfully slinky and drippy. He appeared to have something to say and I broke in with a quick, " I must get out of these clothes ! " " Yes," he answered, " at once ! But I may not see you again." He glanced about as if to make sure he was not overheard. Then, " The deed to El Leona ranch has been mailed to you in New York. It will no doubt be forwarded to you here. Preserve it, please." 139 140 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " I can't accept this," I answered. " I have de- cided on a complete divorce. It is only a matter of a little time." " Even so, the ranch is yours. Indeed, I beg of you not to place me in too undeserved a light. Something, I think, is due my motives and real at- titude." I was so taken back by this point that I managed only a low, " Very well," and hurried past him to my room. So El Leona is mine! Suppose Claire knew! Later He is leaving to-morrow. They say this Mr. Brett Jordan is a lawyer. I shall consult him at once about the Texas di- vorce laws. Surely a straw widow is no sadder thing than a straw marriage ! Later He is leaving, but only to go to the ranch. Claire has been promised a house-party at El Leona as a sort of farewell. She knows now that Mr. Holt has bought the ranch, but none of them guesses that he has transferred the purchase. None of them guesses anything. When I sit with them in his presence J think, " We are mar- THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 141 ried, this man and I. Can they not see it feel it ? " They prattle on, and he never looks at me. I would give the world for his poise, his savoir faire. " No, sir ! " said Mrs. Razor at lunch to-day, when we women sat alone. " I don't go on this party. I had enough of the ranch in my time, and since Keith's gone there's no need of my watch-dog- ging the place. Mrs. Ballentyne'll chaperon you. That's what she's here for." I suppose Keith is one of those ranch villains you see in the movies. I wish he'd come back. But it does seem odd for me to chapecon Claire's party at my house! And, though I am curious to see El Leona, I wish it were under other circum- stances. I don't want to go in a crowd. I don't want him to be there. Mr. Razor has already gone. Theodore and Mr. Holt follow to-night. Their de- parture has something to do with Kaffir corn. It seems Mr. Holt thinks the prairies should be planted with food for the cattle. This, it appears, has not hitherto been the custom, the cattle being left to graze on what the gods provided. Mr. Razor thinks this amazingly resourceful of Mr. Holt. I see noth- ing clever in thinking of Kaffir corn. The tall man I met at the dance is going. His name is Graves. Likewise, a Miss Burns. Andy is to accompany us, and Mr. Brett Jordan. " I'm asking Brett for you," said Claire to me. And, indeed, I was grate- 142 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE ful for her forethought. It provides me ample op- portunity to consult with him professionally. We leave to-morrow night. Claire is singing as she packs. I think she has forgotten the ranch is sold. Later I went into a music store to-day and asked for the Mexican waltz that so charmed my soul. Not until I was well inside, and gazing into the face of the nice blond young man I had met that night, did I realize that the name of the piece was quite un- known to me. No, he didn't remember it. They hadn't played it while we were dancing, he was sure of that. And, by the way, he had called, and we were out, Miss Razor and I. Did we get his cards? . . . La Go- londrina, now or La Paloma, or Over the Waves, could it have been any of those? He spoke the Spanish words beautifully. I shook my head. Then I hummed softly the first bar of the magic melody. Ah, yes ! He remem- bered now. To think he could have forgotten! And he murmured a name like the murmur of water under the moon. " It is pretty," he said. " Shall I try it on the piano here ? " " No, thank you," I said quickly, and, taking the sheet of wonder, without permitting him to wrap it, THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 143 I hastened home. Not until an hour ago had I the chance to slip off alone and go over it. It is different, somehow. The same piece, indeed, yet not the same. There are words, Spanish words, with no translation. Soft little syllables, that it would seem one could only translate into roses. I wish I might stay here with this little song! Claire said to me just now, " Zoe, you'll like it out there. You'll have nothing to do, for positively, I'd hate anybody who tried to chaperon me on a pony, and I know you wouldn't! Besides, we'll get out of all these Easter-lily-teas and mayonnaise- melees ! You ought to be glad of that." The deed to El Leona reached me this afternoon. I tucked it in my lowest tray, among my blouses. I felt like a thief. April 18th What does it mean? I am all atingle. I cannot think. Yesterday, while I was writing here at this very table I heard a voice a man's voice singing. Not singing, indeed, but chanting, just a little flat. And the chant was, " Old Monza, Queen of Samarcand ! '* I stopped short. I got up and went to the win- dow. 144 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE "She was a brave old soul! She spanked her sons with spik-ed hand, And fed them barley whole! And fed them barley whole 1" It was Tubby's voice! Jeremiah, it was Tubby's voice! Tubby's very voice, gotten all grown up and growlly, but flat as ever, and twisting the last two words into " bolly- hole," just as he used to do, except now the note was veined with a chuckle, as if he found a kind of sport in putting his big foot into the old, old print of his baby shoe. But where was he? Oh, where was he? I wrenched open the window and flew out on the porch. The dying North wind brought another verse, but every minute growing fainter, as if the singer were moving quickly away, I couldn't tell where ! " The present King of Saraarcand, Is warrior to the soul! For he was spanked with spik-ed hand, And fed on bollyhole! And fed on " I never got the last note at all ! I raced through the room, my heart clapping time to my feet. I ran from one hall window to another. I opened Andy's door, without thinking, and searched the terrace from his casement, and then, still with- out thinking or pausing, I flung open the next door THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 145 and stopped appalled. It was Mr. Holt's room. But he was not there. " Thank heaven ! " my heart breathed. But I hadn't courage left to go across to the window, and somehow, I know it was from that point that Tubby disappeared. For I know it was Tubby ! I know ... I know! April 19th Mr. Holt has gone. I had thought I should be easier at heart with him away, but last night was utterly sleepless. Peace would come in time, if only I need not see him so soon again! I cannot be myself when he is near. All the currents of my life seem disturbed by his presence, while he remains calm. It is this farce of a bondage that looms between us like a ghost. He waits for me to dispel it, and has no fear. While I, feeling the strange duty mine, grow bewildered and unnerved. I need to be alone to do this thing. But soon I must see him again. We leave in an hour. And somewhere near here is Tubby ! Somewhere near ! And did you know, oh, little friend, that with your song all the years became for me a shining path back to our garden? And all the sleeping holly-hocks and long-shattered roses lifted their heads again, to linger a startled, golden moment, then tumble in sweet confusion of dreams about my ears! 146 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE Ah, little friend, grown big, you weren't a passer- by, coming from anywhere and departing again into the unknowable? Say that you weren't! Say that I shall hear you again, and see you ! Stay, stay, un- til I come once more ! El Leona April 21st I have beheld the sea! A sea of plains, rolling in green silence, beneath a sky limitless, and jewel- blue. No break in all that marvelous expanse, save at the horizon rim where out of a jagged mountain line, the Grey Monarch rears his white head, and, crouching beside him, clothed in green chaparral, looms El Leona, herself, for whom these bright bil- lows were named. At the feet of the royal pair is the canyon, flowing at this time with murmuring water, though dry at many seasons, and always myriad-colored, as if hewn from the heart of some titanic gem. Can this be mine, this Leona, with its eighty thou- sand acres, its grazing herds, its boundless heaven? How can it be mine? The ranch-house is roomy and queer, bright with Navajo rugs, stocked with sleepy-hollow rockers, deer heads, plenty of books and a big piano. It seems that Mr. Holt has bought most of these things him- self, intending, no doubt, that the future occupant of the place shall be content in her retirement from the world. And she will. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 147 The house-keeper is a kindly soul though I sus- pect snuff and the cow-boys, I learn, have weekly dances. There is even a church for simple-hearted souls across the canyon, while all around are the broad prairies, and horses a-plenty ! Who could be lonely? I have excavated my black riding-habit which I have not worn since the days at Chenevix, and fol- lowing Claire's advice, I have supplanted the little three-cornered hat that completes it, with a broad gray sombrero to keep off the sun. They have allotted to me black Shadow, a pony easy to the saddle, fleet-footed as the wind, soft-eyed and sleek. I love her. He is not in the house. When he stayed here recently it was at the dug-out where Theodore had dwelt with his nester wife. His trunks are there still and all the impedimenta of his travel. So there he has returned, taking Andy as room-mate and leav- ing more room for the house-party here. I have seen him once. He rode up on Chlorippe, a beautiful bad horse, and though I knew him straightway, I felt a shock at seeing him so changed. The broad hat, the boots with spurs: he was so brown and he swung with such ease from his saddle : but his laugh was the same, and he held out his hand. Mr. Razor, now A swallow-tail, I had known, was a Nessus shirt to Mr. Razor. Riding in this 148 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE morning on a brute that had " warranted to kill " written all over him, a dirt-colored sombrero shad- ing his face, a bandanna for a bib, and spurs like cir- cular saws, he suggested some odd species of Peri, newly admitted to Paradise. His manner was no longer shuffling it was masterful. I can under- stand his not suffering by the change. But that Mr. Holt should become so wholly a part of this en- vironment astounds me. He actually seems more real. It is as if the perfect glove had fallen away, disclosing all at once a hand of bronze. Miss Burns Meraud her name is and the tall Mr. Graves have just ridden out. She is a pretty little thing with soft, sad, gray eyes. Claire has gone too alone. Clad in a short skirt, her bright hair shadowed with the inevitable sombrero, mounted on her beloved Florita, she has already traversed, I think, every relinquished foot of El Leona! I dare say he is with her now, for she fol- lowed the very trail he took. Surely I owe him swift freedom for all this fair possession! I am thankful that Claire grieves less for its loss. Perhaps he has said to her, " I will buy a hundred thousand acres for you." Yet somehow I cannot fit him to the words. To-day was San Jacinto day. They raised the Texas flag above the ranch-house. Mr. Jordan arrives to-night. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 149 April 22nd Andy and I rose at dawn he had spent the night here and went for a ride on horse-back. We climbed El Leona and looked down onto the dug- out. It was only a black speck in one of the foot- hills, with all before it dapples of red that were roses, and dapples of gold that were poppies, and indis- tinct blurs of pink and white and blue. " Theodore's flowers," said Andy. The sun was just rising. It flooded hill and flow- ers in waves of rosy light. Later Perhaps this Mr. Graves knows something about law. He seems somehow easier to approach than Brett. I shall consult him. Later What is the matter with me? I asked him instead about San Jacinto day. He said it was the anniversary of Texas independence, and told me the story of the Alamo. I would ask Mr. Razor but he looks as if he doesn't know. Later I will consult Brett Jordan. I will. Night I did. Or, at least, I would have. My courage was with me, and, finding him just now, alone on the porch, I went straight up to him. 150 " I have been waiting for you," he said. And before I could speak, he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him. I could only gasp and pull away, for he had my hands tight. " Don't ! Don't ! " I cried. " Let me go ! You have spoiled everything ! " I never in all my life saw a man look so surprised. Is the whole world attempting matrimony? They don't know what it means. I have secured from Claire the name of a promi- nent Acme lawyer. I shall consult him by letter. April 24th I don't know how to consult a lawyer, especially by mail. What is the matter with everything? Lately I seem walking in a dream. Dream people are about me. I move among them, I talk with them yet often I scarcely know what I say. To-day he came. Suddenly I heard his voice, and I seemed to wake an instant with sharp, wound- ing jy- He went away, and then again the moving in a dream. April %5th He said it was nothing nothing but I know his hands are burned. It was all so quick, and he rode away again, without letting us touch him or do a thing THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 151 I know he is suffering to-night. It was like this. They were branding the cat- tle a round-up they call it and that soft-eyed little Miss Burns had just lassoed a calf and was holding him for them to bring the branding iron. I was wondering at her, for it was such a pretty calf, and she was so pretty indeed, her eyes were very much like the eyes of the animal, struggling there in the dirt when suddenly, over the calf's cries, and all the tumult of the men and cattle, rose the piercing shriek of a child. Over by the furnace where the irons were heating, I saw a little girl fly- ing from us, her skirts a circle of flame. In an instant men and cattle seemed petrified. Then a sort of stampede began, and the only defi- nite figure in it all was Dudley Holt. Leaping from his horse he seized the child in his two hands, and gripping her, struck at the fire, crying out, " That blanket, man ! " Then wrapping the little figure close, he fled with her to the canyon fifty yards away, and plunged into the stream. One of the cow- boys, her father, I think, took her home. She was not badly burned, for Dudley had taken in his hands what Fate might have held for her. Then the round-up went on as if nothing had hap- pened. Except that I came home. And to-night, it is strange, but my hands pain me, as if it were I who had felt the fire. XIII April 28th He has gone. Not to the dug-out, beyond the Grey Monarch, but out into space, somewhere- anywhere, that I may prove a year's desertion and divorce him, with no taint upon my name. And dur- ing that year I am to have a fictitious great-uncle die and leave me his money. Then I am supposed to buy El Leona, and live here. And ah, the things that are to be mine! The automobiles and the servants and the new ranch-house he showed me a sketch of that for all these, he says, are the mod- ern equipment of ranches. I think I know better, but he shall have his way. To protest now would be to raise obstacles in his path. Perhaps, too, a broken ankle leaves one meek. But I forgot you do not know about my ankle ! For four days, Jeremiah, I have told you noth- ing. You lay at the bottom of my little steamer trunk, and I could not cross the room. I should have asked someone to get you for me, but you have a way of dropping open which comes of my lay- ing my .head down on you sometimes and I was afraid you might let fall a word. 152 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 153 At dawn last Tuesday we set out on horse-back for Blue Falls Canyon, twenty miles away. Claire rode in front with the guide, for she knows more than he about roads. Then came Mr. Graves and Meraud Burns, Mr. Jordan and I. At the dug-out we were joined by Andy and Mr. Holt. That was half-way. It was broad daylight when we went on again, and almost noon when we reached the Falls. There, we had lunch beside the canyon, and we gathered ferns and took walks and sang at sunset as we made ready to return. Brett Jordan stayed close to me, and I was thank- ful, for I feared I actually feared being alone with Mr. Holt. I knew a talk was due between us soon or late, for some sort of agreement must be reached, but something inside me kept saying, " Not yet ! ", which is not like me at all. So I was grateful to Brett Jordan, and when he had tightened his saddle girth for the ride home, I did not scold him as he turned and caught my hand. I was afraid he might ride with someone else, and leave me behind with Mr. Holt. And even as Brett gripped my hand and talked hurriedly It was something about the minute he saw me, and his mother knew, and it didn't matter about the past even in that instant, I saw Dud- ley standing a little way off beside Claire, who had just leaped into her saddle. The guide was giving her the reins, and I was sure they had all three seen 154. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE us, for they had the air of people who have just looked away. Mr. Holt turned and went toward his own horse which waited across the canyon, near my own. He had to go down by a little foot-path, and Claire wheeled her mount, calling out, " See you at the house ! " Then more clearly, " All those who want to, come with us ! " It seems she and the guide were to try the new road to El Leona. I was so angry with myself, so enraged, that I did what we all do under such circumstances. I jumped on somebody else. " What do you mean ? " I cried to Mr. Jordan. " Don't come near me again! Oh, what made you? What made you? " And I stormed like a vixen to keep back the tears. For an instant he regarded me in blank reproach. Then with a chivalrous, southern bow, and a very red forehead, he turned and rode down the little foot- path, overtaking and passing Mr. Holt. It had been his intention to cross the canyon and get my mount, and I watched him now, rather con- cerned as to whether he meant still to perform this office for me. He passed on, joining Andy and Meraud Burns and Mr. Graves. They disappeared beyond the trees. Mr. Holt and I were left to follow alone. However, there was nothing to prevent my getting THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 155 my own horse and following either group. I stood at the canyon's edge and by stepping down the rocks a little way, I could reach a level not more than six feet above the blue, broken threads of water running amid the stones. This would be a short cut to where my horse was grazing, and, as everyone knows, a jump of six feet is nothing to an active girl. With a little breathless spring I made it, and in another minute I would have clambered up the other side, leaped into the saddle and gone. But, in jump- ing, one foot had sunk deep in the ooze and one had encountered the slab of rock at which both aimed. And the foot that had struck the rock had broken off clean at the ankle. At least, that's how it seemed to me, and I lay huddled in the water, which, thank heaven, was no more than a finger's depth, writhing with such pain as I had never known. It was all I could do to keep from shrieking out, but I knew there was no one to come except Mr. Holt, who was no doubt crossing the foot-path that minute, in order to take the new road with Claire. I thought I should die of keep- ing in my groans. I would have given the whole Leona ranch for the luxury of one agonized yell. But I must keep silent. I must lie quite still, then scale the rocks opposite, find my horse and ride hard, hard until I caught the others. Oh, for Brett Jordan to help me, no matter what he might do ! 156 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE And so, after an absolutely motionless, silent minute, I attempted to get up and walk. That was all. I don't remember another thing. Nothing, ex- cept that, with my face wet and my eyes blinking moisture, I was looking straight up into the face of Mr. Holt. And instead of a damp rock for a pillow, my head lay on something quite dry and woolly and soft, yet firm as Gibraltar. As soon as I grew aware that this strange object was Mr. Holt's arm, I sat up. And then Then I fell back again, and cried out in spite of myself, sick all over. He flung some more water in my face, then after a mo- ment, " Lie perfectly still," he said. " Don't try to move." Then he lifted me in his arms and made for the path. " Relax ! " he commanded. It was a whisper, for carrying a sizable girl through a canyon bed is not conducive, I imagine, to easy respiration. So I relaxed. It was the fear of an- other million-pronged stab from my ankle that had kept me stiff. Strangely enough, it hurt less when I relinquished my brace upon it. Gaining the path, he began the ascent. "Can you can you hold to me?" he asked. "That's it. Tighter so!" My arms were about his neck. I know I was heavy! It was like a symbol, my clinging to him this way, burdening, impeding him. Yet, as in reality, the burden suffered too ! We reached the spot where Brett Jordan had stood THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 157 with me only a little while before. He lowered me to the grass with marvelous, gentle care, yet even so, I could have screamed aloud. " Where are you hurt ? " he asked quickly, still kneeling beside me. " My ankle ! " I whispered through gripped teeth. He rose and, stripping off his coat, rolled it into a pillow for me. Then gently he began to unfasten my riding boot. The horror of pain was almost intolerable but at last the boot was off, and I lay back exhausted with relief. " There's no riding home with that foot," he re- marked. He turned and went down into the canyon where our two horses were standing in the shallow water. He had apparently left them there on seeing me fallen from the rock. He detached a small hamper strapped to his mount, and, returning, drew from it one of the lunch cloths we had spread beneath the trees. It was past sunset now, and dusk was falling. " The others," I said, " they will miss us soon and turn back." I had just become conscious of the real situation. Before that it had been only the choking, harrowing pain that occupied me. " I am afraid not," he answered. He was tearing the lunch cloth into strips. " I had hoped for a minute they might come back and go for a doctor. 158 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE However, they went off in separate groups. Each detachment will suppose we are with the other. We'll do our own doctoring," he added, and knelt down by the battered foot. " Just a little tight wrapping so that the ligaments won't swell." I felt I should murder him if he touched it, but I nerved myself at length, and, really, his hands were very deft and kind. Even in the dusk I could see the red marks of the fire upon them, and wondered at his seeming forgetfulness of these. " Have you studied surgery ? " I heard myself ask. He shook his head. " One learns everything in the army," he answered. " I was in Cuba, you know." " A Rough Rider? " "Yes. ... Ah! That must have hurt !" " Not a great deal," I stammered, as the bandage passed over the most tortured part. " So that's how you ride so well? " " No better than you, my lady. And now that will do until the doctor comes." He rose. It was a very professional looking bandage, but the throb- bing inside! "Are you going for the doctor, yourself?" I asked, for he had started toward the horses. He hesitated. In the west a little sliver of moon was hung. The stars were dusting the sky. " If I go," he answered, " I cannot get back before midnight. You would be here alone." THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 159 He paused. I think he was waiting for me to ex- press my wishes in the matter, but I said nothing. He went to the hamper and opened it. " There's some fried chicken left," he said. " Aren't you hun- gry? " I was debating whether I should let him stay there with me or abandon me to wild-cats and things. He spread the contents of the hamper on what was left of the lunch-cloth, as if tempting me. I ate to oblige him, and when we had finished he wrapped the rest in the cloth and laid it away. " For break- fast," he said. Then he went down into the canyon and, leading up the horses, unsaddled them for the night. " And now are you comfortable ? " he asked, re- turning. " Yes, thank you. There is almost no pain when I lie still." The yellow dusk spread deeper beneath a gray- green sky. The fine dust of stars had crystallized into single glowing gems of varying hues. High up hung a sapphire, lucent, tremulous. Yonder, where the sun had sunk, a ruby burned, with edges of gold. Close to the moon swung a globule of green flame, an emerald. He sat down beside me. There was silence. " Have you not something to say to me? " he asked. So he would make me begin it ! And yet he had 160 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE promised to tell me, frankly and honestly, if ever this situation should arise! " Yes," I answered. " I want you to know " I stopped. " I understand," he said, as if trying to help me. " It is you and Jordan." I felt again the stinging, unaccountable anger. "No! How could you think such a thing?" " It is your right," he said, " to feel toward him as you please. I do not forget our contract." " Nor I," I reminded him at once. " But it is not Jordan. I I don't want you to think so." " Forgive me if I am wrong. Have you, by any chance, found Tubby ? " How odd he should think of that ! And how easy to see that he meant to force the break on me ! He had promised to tell me if ever he should find that other one, and now he had not the heart. Very well. I would spare him. Obligingly, I would leap into the breach. But I would not lie. " Have you found Tubby ? " he asked again. " Perhaps. That, I believe, is neither here nor there. I want you to tell me how I can most quickly secure a divorce." Why is the word so hard to say? What is there in the sound that is like the severing stroke of a knife? When he spoke it was as if after he had drawn a long breath of relief. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 161 "It will not be difficult for you in this state," he said, " I will go away. It will be a case of deser- tion, and no blame, whatever, need attach to you. There must be a year's residence, however." " It is a long time to wait," I said. However, I hadn't made the laws. " I know," he answered. " When we love we grow impatient. It is hard. God knows it is hard." " I am sorry for you," I said gently. But even that, coming from me, seemed an intrusion. He turned, not looking at me, and said in a voice so hard that it seemed forged in some far iron corner of his heart : " You must not think of me." And then he told me all his plans connected with the ranch: how it would be best, in securing the di- vorce, to retire to El Leona instead of remaining at so public an environment as the Razors': how our relation should still be kept a secret for my sake, and all the rest. It was well thought out, and I demurred at noth- ing, knowing that any struggles of mine against gift or sacrifice on his part, were but obstacles in his path, and I was done with these. So when he had said all, I thanked him, and promised to obey just as I had promised before the bishop a little more than two months ago. The dusk paled like a gathered rose. The night was around us. 162 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE He broke the silence. " Is the pain gone ? " he asked. " Yes," I answered which was true, when I lay still. He rose, and bringing a horse-blanket, for the night was cool, laid it about me, tucking it into the grass, as if it had been a bed and I a child. " Is there nothing else ? " he asked when I had thanked him. " My hair," I answered. " It hurts me, and I daren't move." " You want it undone? " " Please." He knelt at the head of my grassy bed and began to draw out the long shell pins, a little uncertainly at first, as if fearful of hurting me, then more quickly, and presently I felt him loosen the coils, spreading and untwisting them with gentle clumsiness, until finally the loose mass lay about me on the pillow. He bent above me. " There is nothing else ? " " You have done a great deal. Thank you. I can sleep now." " Good night, then," he said. rt Good night little girl." The last was a murmur the wind might have made it but it held such pathos, such sorrow, and, had it been a woman's voice, I might have said, such tears, that on the instant I was impelled to answer, THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 163 as he had done, " You must not think of me." But he had risen almost with the words, and gone back to where the blankets and saddles were. Presently he called to me in a voice quite void of pity or compassion, " Sleep well ! If you need anything, I'll hear you call." And he lay down there with, I think, a saddle for a pillow. Then silence came in earnest, the silence vast and stupendous, that only the prairies know. The moon had long since melted like a taper-flame into the gray-green of the sky. The stars crowded close. And now a wind woke like a sigh from the drowsy breast of the night. The arms of the trees em- braced and trembled. The flitting garments of wood- ghosts whispered and stirred. I heard the trickling of the canyon stream as it wound among the stones, small, regular, like the ticking of a clock. I seemed to be at the very center of the still heart of Sleep. Its rhythmic beat filled me at last with peace. XIV When I awoke the dawn was red beyond the canyon. In the half light he was saddling his horse. I smelt coffee and, looking about, I saw the little granite pot smoking on a blaze of logs. He turned now and went toward the basket, and a moment later I saw him coming toward me, a plate and cup in his hands. There are things we do for which there is no ac- counting. Moreover, we've no idea of doing them until we find they're done. I think the reason I closed my eyes and pretended to be still asleep was because I didn't want him to know I had been watch- ing him. But perhaps it was because I didn't want to talk. He would ask me if my ankle hurt, and it did. Besides, I hated for him to go it was so lonesome, and the wild animals were all hunting their breakfasts, and I couldn't run. I was likely to ask him to stay. So I lay with my eyes closed, which acted as a sort of guarantee on my lips. I heard him come close, stop, then cautiously lay plate and cup on the grass beside me. There followed a silence filled with the strong odor of coffee. Presently I felt the grass stir as if he had knelt down. Then slow fingers closed about my hand. In spite of my- 164 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 165 self, I stirred, and my eyes almost opened. At once the clasp relaxed. I heard him rise and, after an- other moment, he moved away. I opened my eyes and presently saw him mounted, emerging from the canyon on the other side, darkly outlined against the glowing east. Beside me on the grass lay his pistol as startling an object at first sight as any jaguar or rattlesnake. I moved out of its way. Yet gradually it came to suggest the man himself, to seem like him in all its silent strength, its ready protectiveness. It was his fitting deputy, this big revolver, so powerful, so pol- ished, so quiet withal. I lifted it in my hand. Almost I wished that some big beast would call that I might try my hand. Al- most. However, nothing more formidable than a red-bird invaded my retreat, and I laid the pistol down, thankful for its possibilities, just the same. I drank my coffee and ate the breakfast of cold chicken and hard-boiled eggs, while the woods awoke around me, and the big red sun bubbled up from the mountains and the world ran over with light. Then all that had whispered and sighed in the night, stretched its arms and laughed aloud. ' Lying with my body close to the earth, I too, was charged with that current of renewing energy. Yet I dared not move, except to do by degrees, my fallen hair, and rest on my elbow, watching the birds flit in and out, crying joy-words and caroling. 166 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE And I wondered if that hand-clasp had been his farewell, or if he would return again with the doctor. Surely he would return, for how could he throw me into the hands of a stranger, doctor though that stranger was? Return he did, alone. The doctor had been out and he had communicated with him by telephone. He would arrive soon in a surrey which should bear me home. Horseback for me, was out of the ques- tion. " Here is your pistol," I said. " Thank you." He thrust it in his holster, smiling. " There was nothing to hurt you," he said. " But I thought you'd like companionship." " It was a little awkward at first," I answered. " Such a perfect stranger ! But we made friends." He sat beside me on the grass. " I would have in- troduced you before I left, but you were asleep," he said. " Look ! " I cried. " How wonderful the sun is over El Leona ! " For indeed, the red bubble seemed to have broken into a rain of dazzling white- ness. " There are no sunsets," he said, " more beautiful than these. And sunrise here gives one, always, the feeling that the world has been made over new." And he told me of places he had been, stranger than this far places that I hardly dreamed were on the earth. Islands, tucked away in green cor- THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 167 ners of the sea. Strange, crumbling cities, where' only dead men live. Lurid red deserts, and the black buried hearts of mines. He told me of his days in Cuba, and the big inner story of San Juan. " Why don't you write ? " I asked. " Life seems to interest you so much." " It does. That's why I couldn't sketch it. One has to sit apart to get the right focus for that. Writing is all perspective work. I want to be in the melee. I want to live it." Sudddenly there came to us from this side the canyon, the sound of approaching wheels. He spoke quickly. " It is the doctor. I shall not see you again alone. Good-by. God bless you." I had forgotten he was going away ! " Good-by ! " I whispered back. And at that in- stant the surrey appeared, and he rose to meet it. There was something familiar about the doctor's outlines, and after a moment, I could have laughed aloud as Rufus Honeywell came hurrying toward me, carrying his little bag. I braved the pain and sat up to welcome him. His face showed his astonishment. " What are you doing here ? " he asked. " Waiting for your services, it seems," I answered. " What are you doing? " He opened his satchel. " Left my patient at Roswell," he replied. " It 168 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE agreed with him, all right, but not with me." He looked at Dudley. " I see you found him ! " he observed. I hated him for that and glanced to see if Dudley had overheard, but he was delaying to fit the sur- rey for the home trip. He came over presently. Rufus knelt down. He had become professional so very professional, indeed, that I grew afraid he meant to amputate my foot in order to prove his surgeon's hand. " Good bit of work," he remarked to Dudley, hav- ing thoroughly poked my foot. I had meant to introduce them, but these professional maneuvers had knocked it out of my head. " Any bones broken ? " asked Dudley. " Just a bad wrench. Got some hot water? " So, in the course of the next hour, with the as- sistance of boiling water I know it was boiling ! and adhesive tape, ajid his surgeon's hands, Doctor Rufus avenged himself for any possible injury I may have done his heart or career. Then with my foot looking for all the world like a high-bred Chinese lady's, and feeling nicely boiled and packed for the winter, I heard him say, " She'll be all right in a few days five at best." With this good news I managed to introduce the doctor, and explain to Dudley that we'd met in New York. Dudley seemed not concerned with this par- ticularly. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 169 " Just a minute," he remarked. " I'd like to have things clear before we start. As you no doubt know, this lady is my wife." Rufus said that he suspected" it. " Then you are the only person hereabout who does. We are not discussing the fact generally for reasons of our own. When we go back to the house it is to be understood that you were with- us since last night." Rufus had a severe attack of professional manner. " For the er lady's sake I suppose." Dudley looked annoyed. " Obviously," he said. " I see. All right. I saw twins and a lusty boy on board this little star last night, but I'd just as soon have been here chaperoning you two married people, if that's what you want." " That's what I want," said Dudley. Then, while I manfully strangled sixteen yells, he lifted me in his arms, and, carrying me to the sur- rey, deposited me on a pile of blankets and pillows Rufus had brought. Then he flung his wrinkled coat across his horse, found my hat somewhere I'd for- gotten I had one tied my disgraced looking pony to the surrey, and we all started off. Such chaos we found at home ! They hadn't missed us until morning, for twice I had spent the night in Meraud Burns' room, and Claire had sup- posed I was there. Andy, in the dug-out, had slept 170 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE with the conscience of the just, so the question of Dudley's absence, like mine, had not come up until morning. The corn-planters had noticed it first. He had been directing their operations, and they waited for him until late. Then, however, there were racing and chasing on El Leona lea ! I don't know what they thought, but I gathered they had suspected an elopement. However, my ap- pearance explained itself. Dr. Honeywell was intro- duced and told his brave little lie. Dudley bade us all good-by, to leave that night, and I was put in bed, where I have been four days. I don't know why spraining one's ankle and having to stay in bed should so radically change the world. It is as if some light that burned a)t the center of things had gone out. As if life were sapped dry of flavor and beauty and joy ! Claire did a thing last night I never saw any girl do. She sat for the first half of the night, looking out into the moonlight. I don't think she moved once. Then she rose abruptly and dressed. " What's the matter? " I asked. "I simply can't sleep," she said. And, flinging open the door, she went out into the night. Time and again she would have confided in me, and I would not. Now she has grown reticent, re- mote. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 171 April 30th . Jeremiah, you will not believe it I couldn't at first, myself but it's true ! This morning Andy said to me, " Want to ride ? " "Can't," I answered. "See this crutch?" I had just hobbled out to the porch. It had seemed a lark ! " I don't mean horse-back," said Andy. " I mean in the buggy." Which was different. So with the help of my staff and Andy's good right arm, I climbed in, and off we clattered. " Where are the others ? " I inquired. " If you mean Jordan," twinkled Andy, " he's gone back to Acme." This was news to me, but I hadn't meant Jordan. The others, Andy explained, were at church not the church for simple-hearted souls across the canyon, but the colored church which was being held bap- tismally and somewhat divertingly in the canyon itself. " Over yonder," pointed Andy, " where the water's deep." " Let's go there," I suggested. " Can't. I'm bound for the dug-out. Mr. Holt wired last night that he'd left his watch. I gotter get it and send it to him by registered mail. 'N' I left a saddle there, too." " I suppose Mr. Holt couldn't wait," I suggested. 172 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " He won't know the time till the registered package reaches him." " It's not the watch," said Andy. " That's not what he's botherin' about. It's the lady's picture in the back of it." " What lady is it? " I asked presently. " Don't know her," said Andy. " You've seen it? " He nodded, shifting his eyes to me. I wondered if I looked as queer as I felt. " Used to see it every night when I stayed at the dug-out with him. He'd look at it, then he'd go to bed." " Is she pretty? " I asked. Andy nodded with fervor. We had reached the dug-out. He helped me out and we went in. It was a forlorn place of three separate rooms, the cool earthen floor dimpled here and there as if with the tread of Theodore's babies. The bunk in the corner, crudely spread, a saddle on the floor, the big boots I had seen him wear, the gray sombrero hung on a deer's horn, all wore a look of desertion, of patient waiting. On a little shelf beside a pewter water- jug, lay the watch in shining view of any thief. Andy lugged the saddle out to the buggy. I heard him storing it in the back. And then I'd no idea I would do such a thing I opened the back of the watch. With my nails I opened it it was dreadfully tight and I saw THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 173 It is really true ! I saw the Lady with the Golden Comb! At first I couldn't place her, though she smiled up at me so familiar-sweet, looking a little older, even a little gentler, if that could be, till suddenly the air seemed filled with the smell of lilacs. I felt myself standing by the little flowered gate. Soft arms stole about me. And I said, " Yes yes ! Why did I not know ? " Only it was such a tiny picture, and she had forgot the comb ! How came she there? Oh, how came she there! " You've got it, I see," said Andy, suddenly ap- pearing. " Say, if you don't mind, get that ready, will you? I want to ride over and take Keith his saddle." "Keith?" I said, "Keith?" being vaguely con- scious of having heard the name. Then I remem- bered. " Yes," said Andy. " He's back. You saw him. Bill Keith Billy." Billy, the guide who had gone with us to Blue Falls ! So he was Keith, the Keith Mrs. Razor had supposed gone! There had been nothing so for- midable about Keith. I promised I would attend to the watcfh, and un- doing my blouse, slipped it inside. We rode home together, and I have been won- dering I look at the picture and I wonder XV 'May 2nd I knew it! Here is his letter. " My dear little Wood Nymph ! " For I see you always with your face framed against a tangle of green grass and your woodsy hair fallen about your shoulders ! My dear little Wood Nymph, then I am Tubby! " Never did I dream not for the minutest part of a minute that that euphonious appellation and that cherished identity had once been mine ! " But let me tell you. " I thought so long as I must stay away from Texas for a year, I might spend part of that time in the old home, back in Louisiana. " You didn't know I had lived in Louisiana, did you ? I did and I left when I was eighteen, for wanderlust woke in me, and the big world called. " When you told me about living in that garden, you didn't mention how sleepy it was, so how could I recognize it? But perhaps you never found it sleepy. " My mother hasn't, and she is still here among her 174 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 175 magnolias and long gray moss. I don't suppose you remember my mother, but she remembers you. She spoke of you to-day as * the little Ballentyne girl with the beautiful eyes,' and asked me if I supposed you could be any relative of my wife ! " She hasn't been told of the prospective divorce. " I know something of her feeling in such matters, and have deferred breaking the news until it should come as less of a shock. She pictures you, now, waiting in connubial impatience for my return, and thinks you very generous to lend me for a little space ! She treasures the letter you wrote in answer to hers when we became engaged. Singular, is it not, that you two should have corresponded without guessing! But then she wrote from Florida, being too ill as you remember, for New York in winter. Being too ill, indeed, even for her garden. She is better now, and almost well. " So, when she asked if you could be related to my" wife, I answered that I didn't know. * But what was her name the little Ballentyne ? ' I asked. " For sometimes names run in families like beautiful eyes! My mother reflected. 'Why her name was odd, and they never called her by it. She was simply " Dimples " to every one, and it did very well. Her father was a professor of ancient lan- guages. And he played the violin. Ah, my boy, how he could play! It wrung the heart, his music! It was not long after your father's death that they 176 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE came, and sometimes his playing ' She stopped there, my dear mother, and patted my hand which had fallen on one of hers. ' He had come for his wife's health the good professor and there had been another little girl whose death had shaken them very much. But they gave up the house all too soon, for the little wife died. She was like a flower, and when ' " But I was pacing the floor, now, up and down, literally slapped out of my chair and set going by the overwhelming, paralyzing fact that Tubby was me! " ' The house is for sale,' my mother went on. * They're going to auction it. A few years ago I had thought of taking down the brick wall and add- ing the place as a garden, for the roses are wonder- ful, but now ' " * Don't say you're too old ! ' I cried. * For never were you so lovely ! ' " (And indeed, you'd say so too, if you saw her, with her hair whiter than the magnolias !) " She smiled. * Not that I'm too old, my boy but you and Zoe will be living in New York, and why build and improve if not for you? You should have brought Zoe, Dudley. You really should. My boy, do sit down ! ' " * I am thinking, Mater ! Do you know if this little girl this little Ballentyne girl ever called me " Tubby "? Now think, Mater, think! ' THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 177 " * Why, dear,' said my mother, * it's very likely. " Dudley " might easily be converted into " Tubby " by a child. Why do you ask? ' " * Because, Mother, the little Ballentyne girl, then, is Zoe! Zoe, who married me ! Think of it ! Think of it, Mater!' " My mother was not in the least overcome. But she smiled as if quite pleased and said, * How lovely she must look, then, in the family pearls ! ' " (What would she say, bless her, if she knew that the family pearls are at present adorning the ungainly body of a strong box in Manhattan !) " And I left her straightway, to write the news to you ! What do you say to it ? Come now, what is your frank opinion ? Should we allow somebody anybody to intrude between Tubby and you ? " If you conclude that Tubby should come back, send him a telegram. rn I cannot think. All my memories flit about like bats dazed by the daylight. Why could not one of us guess? Of his own desire in the matter he does not speak. He leaves it all to me j ust as he left the breaking of the tie. Can I ignore what I know of his desire? Are not conditions all the same, except that he has stumbled upon a garden back in the years, where we once 178 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE played together? A garden that he had well-nigh forgotten ? May 3rd I think I understand. He has gone back, and, seeing his mother again, has dreaded to wound her. Finding, too, that he was my Brushwood Boy, he has lacked the heart to go on. It is his pity for her and for me. These things I know, because Claire has also re- ceived a letter from him. I gave it to her myself. She tore it open, read it half through, looked strangely about her, then crumpling it into her belt, mounted and rode off toward El Leona. Is it true, as Pater holds, that the happiness of every one human being depends on the unhappiness of another? In any case I shall not buy my hap- piness at the price of theirs. I have not sent his watch yet, for, after all, he may return of his own will. May 4-th Last night in her sleep I heard Claire say, " No no ! " striking out with her arms. " I cannot bear " The last was a broken cry. " Claire ! " I called, shaking her. " Claire ! " She woke, and looking dazedly about her, sat up- right. Then, slipping from the bed, she went to the window, and stood there silently. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 179 After a moment I heard the sound of sobbing. I stole to her side and laid my arm about her. " Can I help you? " I asked. " No," she said. " I must fight it out alone." How pitiful seems that childhood claim on him! A chain of buttercups that breaks at a finger-touch ! How pitiful seems even the iron chain of marriage, in the melting fire of other love! Later To-day, as if fearing she might have hurt me last night, Claire said, " Zoe, a week ago I would have told you. But now I am glad I did not. If you knew, they would hold you responsible." What does she mean? What did he write her? Will she kill herself if he doesn't come back? Oh, why didn't I break my neck instead of my ankle ? Later Perhaps if I wire him to come, he and Claire will make it up, and everything will be all right again. I would simply say, " Come." Later I shall wire nothing. I shall not even answer the letter. I shall play square. Night I wired. XVI May 5th Zoe Ballentyne, of all the frenzied females ! He cannot feel any greater contempt for me than I feel for myself. All night I lay and wondered if telegrams could be recalled. At dawn I had decided to dispatch an- other, retracting the first, but before I could ride, into town, came his answer, " Leaving to-night ! " Then my heart felt precisely as if I'd sprained it, and began swelling and pounding, so that even Dr. Honeywell's surgeon's hands could not have strapped it down. I got on a horse, forgetting all about my ankle, and rode until I came to the dug-out. On the way I gathered blue-bonnets and pink Mexican prim- roses. I mixed them with long ferns from the can- yon and placed them in the pewter pitcher to welcome him. He'll think it was Claire. 6th What did he write to Claire? Her face haunts me. What was in his letter to deepen the blue circles beneath her eyes and plant 180 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 181 the rebellious quiver on her lip? She rides alone always alone. Lucky for her that Meraud and Mr. Graves entertain each other! At night she returns like something broken, to fling herself on the bed and fall into restless sleep. He comes to-night. May 8th I could not write yesterday. . . . He reached here at night. We were all on the porch, and he suddenly rode up, laughing outright at the general amazement. Claire, who had been home all day, rose without a word and went to her room. It was dusk and I could not see her face. Then came that strange im- pulse from without which so often seizes me in this man's presence an impulse to do a thing I had had no thought of doing, and for which I can find no reason. I saw him look about in the dark as if seek- ing someone, answering the volley of questions with apparent abstraction. Then, like Claire, I rose I don't know why and went inside. There, I sat in the dark, by the piano, and listened to the chat- ting and laughter just beyond the open window. Someone brought his supper to him on the porch. I heard the clink of the silver and glass. He was laughing at some sally as he took the tray, and still there was that absent note in his laughter. I could feel him looking about, waiting for someone. A 182 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE week ago I could have sworn it was Claire. But to- night And, still moving by that detached impulse, I went to the piano and found my fingers wandering over the keys. From chord to chord they moved, then, all at once, breathing beneath them, I felt the notes of that unforgotten Mexican waltz. And it seemed as if something in my heart, something that had awakened that night when I heard it first, stirred again, and stretched its wings, and beat stormily against my breast. It seemed as if my soul melted into strange fire and ran down into my fingers ! And the words, whose meaning I did not know even as I could not know the meaning of the melody or the fire through all my heart the words, like roses, stole to my lips, and I sang them forgetting my- self, forgetting all things, as I had forgotten all when we danced together. The night seemed to throb with melody. The laughter died on the porch. Presently a door opened and Claire came in. She came without a word and, sitting on the seat with me, listened a space, then bowed her face on the key- board with a little discordant clash. And then out of the stillness on the porch Tie came. I knew it was he so soon as his shadow shut out the moon. I knew without looking, and I could not sing, but my fingers moved on, continuing the melody. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 183 Claire lay motionless, not knowing he was there. Silently he crossed the room, and stood a moment beside me. Then his hand closed over mine. . . . Dear God Dear God ! It was then I knew. It was then I knew the meaning of the fire through all my heart ! The music stopped with a crash. Claire looked up. With a little catch of her breath she turned and went swiftly from the room. " Sing them again the words ! " he whispered, still gripping my hand. I shook my head. I could not find my voice. " Then let me say them to you in my own tongue," he said. " Thou, my beloved, Art come to me! I yield my love to thee! I yield my life to thee! Enter thou into my soul!" I trembled, hearing him speak the words I had sung, unknowing. I rose to steady myself. Still he gripped my hand. " Zoe ! " he breathed. " You meant them ! You meant the words? " Still I could not speak. To save my life, I could not speak! On the porch sounded the sliding of chairs. The others were coming in. He spoke quickly. 184 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " To-morrow. At nine o'clock. By the North Gate. Will you be there? " I nodded, withdrawing my hand. Quickly I slipped out and flew to my room. Claire was not there. Later If only he had given me some other thread to hold by, than that silly one of Tubby! How fragile a tie it was like nothing ! I met him at the North Gate. There is a stile beside it, and in the field beyond the men were plant- ing Kaffir corn. J rode up on black Shadow, but I felt like sunshine. ... As if for the first time I was really alive. Yet I had left Claire sewing by the window, the traces of tears and sleeplessness in her eyes. There was room in my mind for only one thought of Claire, and that was, " Does he love her still or is it possible ? " Had he not laid his hand over mine with her beside me? He was waiting there. He helped me from my horse and stood a moment still holding both my hands and looking down into my eyes. " My wood witch ! " he said softly. " My wife ! Was it you who put the flowers there ? " And then it seemed as if he meant to kiss me, but I drew back, striving at my hands. It was not because the men were so close, planting the com. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 185 Indeed, I scarcely saw the men. It was because I could not have borne it. The tide that surged in my heart would have drowned me. His face shadowed. " I thought perhaps " he said. " Here here is your watch," I interrupted, pro- ducing it. He took it absently. " Come ! " he said, and pointed to the trees that grew about the canyon's edge. There was only one lonely planter near the spot. I mounted my horse and he walked beside me, leading his own. Among the trees, he spread his coat on the grass and helped me down. As I touched the earth it seemed as if his supporting arms would have enfolded me, and again I drew quickly away. All about me I felt the moving of strange waves. A step further and the tide must have submerged me, a tide that seems part of eternity. " I am wondering," he said, " if I, also, may re- turn something." And he drew from his vest a little velvet box my wedding ring. " First," I whispered. For I must know more of him and Claire. Merely because he had laid his hand over mine must I forget that it was to her I had bidden him return? " Nothing first ! " he cried. " That garden was first, Zoe that little Eden ! And I am going back to it with you. Come ! " 186 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE Who coul T resist that? Bravely, I moved closer to him. Lo/ughing with wet eyes, I looked up into his face and my lips formed the old, foolish, unfor- gotten name, " Tubby ! " " Girl! " he cried. And his arms opened to me. But I had stopped. I had stopped, appalled. I drew back from his arms and stood, listening. Be- yond the trees the solitary planter was singing. Not singing, indeed, but chanting, gruffly and a little flat. "Old Monza, Queen of Samarcand!" " What is it ? " he asked quickly. I fled from him and, parting the branches, looked out. I could not believe my eyes. It was Theodore who was singing the Razors' gardener, Rebecca's cousin, the father of Violet and Sweet William, and all the rest! Dudley was at my side. "What it it?" he cried. "For they were spanked with spik-ed hand," sang Theodore. "And fed on bollyhole!" I was thinking, wondering, piecing stray facts together. At last I believed. Theodore's ready smile so easily familiar now ! The round face of Sweet William, which was a replica of Tubby's own, had I but seen ! THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 187 " I'll tell him to stop," said Dudley, locating the source of my distress. " What's the matter with the man?" " Oh, it wasn't you ! " I cried. " It wasn't you after all. You didn't sing that song the other night in Acme ! " " What song? That song? I think it's a horri- ble thing, if you want to know." " You are horrible ! " I broke forth, trembling with the reaction. "Who is this man? Where did he come from ? " " Teddy ? I sent him to the Razors myself. He's all right. What's the matter with you, Zoe ? " " Where'd you get him ? " " He was the son of our cook. Wanted a taste of ranch life, so when I came away from a visit back home, I brought him West. He settled on the Razors' ranch after a time. That's how I came to know the Razors. He married a " " Oh, I know that. I know he's married. How awful ! How absurd ! " " Well, Zoe ! Confound the whole What the fellow means by shouting out songs while he's plant- ing corn " " How old is he ? " I asked 1 . I had quieted a little, and was doing some figuring for the first time. " Ted ? He's likely twenty-three, or thereabout." " How old are you? " " My dear child, I'm so old that " 188 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " How old are you ? " I repeated sternly. " I'm thirty-two," he penitently informed me. " Well, don't you see? Can't you figure at all? " I cried exasperated. " My statistics," he answered, " may not compare favorably with Teddy's, but there are some matters in which I have a slight advantage, you must admit. For one thing, I am married to you, while he is the epouse of the nester's daughter." " But you see ! He is Tubby ! " " What? " cried Dudley. " I don't believe it." " We'll see," I replied. And, pushing through the shrubs, I led the way across the plowed furrows. " The present King of Samarcand " " Here a minute, Ted ! " called Dudley. The man turned about, checking his song. Smil- ing, his hand went to his broad hat and he drew in his mules. Why had I not seen? It was the beard he wore. It was the awful, stubby beard. " Planter working all right?" asked Dudley. w Fine, sir." " Ted, do you know this young lady ? " " Why, sure, sir. It's her we used to call * Dim- ples.' I knew her fust time I see her." " M-m-m-m ! Dimples ! " mused Dudley. " And what did she call you ? " " Me, sir? She couldn't talk any too plain then. She'll excuse my repeatin* it, sir. She called me THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 189 * Tubby.' " He laughed apologetically, glancing at me. " Yes, and a tub you were," remarked Dudley. " Well, cut along. And remember the south pas- ture, close to the fence." " Yes, sir." Theodore clucked, shaking his reins. We walked back to our horses. " Zoe," said Dudley, before I mounted, " was it on these grounds alone you wired me to come? Was it for this only ? " " No," I said, not meeting his eyes. " You bade me come, because you wanted me, did you not, Zoe ? " He leaned very close. I felt his eyes. It seemed as if they would compel my own to meet them. " No not that," I answered. " Give me the truth," he whispered. But I could not mention Claire, just then. " I wired you because I felt it was my duty." " Duty be hanged ! " he answered. Then, grip- )ing my hand, he forced me to face him. " I know >etter than that, Zoe. Have I forgotten the song TOU sang to welcome me? Did I not know the mean- ig of those words? " I laughed, softly, brokenly, from sheer excite- icnt. " Then you knew more than I. They were Greek to me." He looked at me. Slowly he let fall my hand. 190 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE I turned quickly and mounted before he had time to help me. He pierced the ring in his vest. Silently we rode back to the house. To-day I have not seen him at all. Neither him nor Claire. Night He came in this afternoon. He and Mr. Razor had a hurried talk apart. Someone said it resulted in a telegram to Mrs. Razor. Something is wrong. Claire scarcely speaks to me. I rode out alone to-day. He stood on the porch with Mr. Razor. He helped me to mount but did not follow me. May 9th This business of Tubby is like two children wrangling over a rag doll. What do I care whether he is Tubby or not ? He is my husband. Later 'Andy has brought me this note from him. " Zoe ! Let us speak the truth to each other, re- gardless of its hurt. Come to-night. Let us say at eight o'clock, by the stile." The truth! Somehow I feel the truth from him will not hurt me. When I think of his voice this morning his eyes as they forced mine to meet them somehow I know and he shall have the truth from me all the truth. XVII MidnigJitt I went. Sometimes I think we are built on iron frames, we women. All on the outside, nerves and tender flesh, with underneath, iron. And we bleed and quiver with all the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune we wince until the iron is reached, and then, though we still shrink, the danger of death is past. Some- times we, even, cease to suffer pain. I know the truth, and I live. The stile is on the road to the village, eight miles away. The moon, as I rode, was half-blown and white as a rose. Such a little pale bride-moon, with stars caught in her veil, like pearls. I took the cross-cut through the pasture, and I think I was a little early on that account. I came quickly, riding from the trees where we had stood the other time, instead of from the road. Two people were at the stile, a woman and a man. The moon fell like gold on the woman's lifted head, and I saw that it was Claire. Her horse was beside her, her hat fallen on the ground. The man was Dudley, and he was holding both her hands, as he had held mine. 191 192 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " Let me go ! " she was saying. " I shall wait no longer ! " " But you promised ! " he replied. She tore her hands away. " I am through ! " she cried brokenly. " My life is my own ! " I would not have listened, had I been able to stir. At last the nerves of motion awoke in me, and I turned, retracing my steps, unseen, I think, and un- heard by them. Among the trees, hurrying over the road I had just taken, I met Bill Keith, the guide. He looked at me keenly, his dark eyes gleaming in the moonlight. I passed in silence. He is spying on someone. Is it Dudley? Is it Claire? What does it matter? What does any- thing matter now? It is one o'clock, and Claire has not yet come in. I remember a pear tree in the convent yard. It had been covered with a white promise of blossom, but when fall came it bore but a single pear. Yet such a glorious pear, oval and perfect and of a pre- cious gold. I looked at it long, but I did not essay to climb the wall and touch it. It was not my pear. Yet once Sister Anastasia said to me, " You have been a good girl. Is there anything you would like as a reward ? " I think she thought I would ask for an extra holiday, or to be excused from my arithme- tic. But I said, " I should like the pear." And I THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 193 pointed to the tree rustling greenly at the edge of the orchard. " It is yours, my dear," said Sister Anastasia. And, leading me by the hand, she helped me herself to climb the wall. But the pear was gone. Yet the bliss of thinking it was mine, as we walked together down the path ! I have often thought of that. 'May 10th I feel all about me, outside the little whirlpool of my own affairs, the disturbed movement of some cur- rent I cannot see. Mrs. Razor comes to-day. I somehow feel a com- fort in the thought. I am a failure as a chaperon ... a secretary ... a companion . . . whatever it is I am supposed to be. I sometimes forget I am anything. Ah, if I might forget all ... ! Claire has been gone all night. Later A note from him by Andy. " I waited until almost midnight. Are you ill? " To which I answered : " It was not needful that you tell me the truth. I guessed it long ago. Please go away, and let us do as we planned. Why strive to patch a garment worthless from the beginning? " Then, like the niente I am, I wondered if he would 194 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE answer me. I sat by the window, watching the road from El Leona until almost noon. Promptly enough came Andy again, drooping a little on his tired horse. "Why indeed? Good-by." That was his answer. I might have dispensed with it. Later Chaos and worse ! Claire is married and to Bill Keith ! They ran away last night, from the very stile where Dudley waited for me. Mrs. Razor arrived at noon. Finding that Claire had been gone all night, she straightway took on the behavior of a frantic hen. She would not give up, positively no! They must be followed. Telegrams must be sent to various points ordering their arrest. If she was frantic, there was some cool streak in her brain that directed operations. The current I have felt about me has been in wild agitation all after- noon. And my own little whirlpool merged into it, for I felt in a way responsible for Claire. If it hadn't been for this same whirlpool and what business has a secretary with an independent whirlpool ? I might have been watching Claire and doing something toward averting such a catastro- phe. Yet, when I look back, I somehow feel that no one on earth could have managed Claire. Anyway, the furies seemed loosed at El Leona, THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 195 with Mrs. Razor guiding and abetting them, looking herself like a plump fury, with her dusty traveling suit that she had not taken time to change, her voice strident, her eyes aflame. It occurred to me that Dudley might be able to give them some information relative to the runaways, but he did not appear. Not a trace of them was found until toward even- ing. Then came a telegram from the border, signed " C. and B." and waving us their married farewell ! I shall never forget the thud with which Mrs. Razor sat down in the nearest chair, nor the sudden volley of rage with which she turned on her spouse, shaking the telegram in his face. " You are to blame ! " she shrieked at the close of the diatribe. " You you ! " I melted into my room. Was not I the lawful ob- ject of her wrath? " I knew it ! " whispered Andy who had followed me. He closed my door softly and sat down on Claire's deserted bed. I noticed that he held a second tele- gram, a sealed one. " I knew Claire'd do it ! " he repeated. " I never dreamed it ! " I said. " I thought she cared for " "Holt?" he suggested. "Not on your life! I got a telegram here for Mr. Holt. He's leavin* again in the mornin'." " And Claire didn't Andy, are you sure ? " 196 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " Surest thing you know. She let Mom think she liked Mr. Holt. Believe me, she fooled 'em all, Pop 'long with the rest. Pop didn't mind her likin' Keith. He can bust any broncho that ever kicked, but he's skeered of Mom. Mom fired Keith on account of Claire 'fore we left, but things got to goin' to the dogs round here and Pop got him back without her knowin' it. He's the whole thing on this ranch, and I'll bet you anything you say, that Mr. Holt turns it over to him, too. Holt's nobody's fool, believe me. Mom thought Keith was in Oregon, that's how she let Claire come here this time. Claire knew where he was. I used to mail her letters, and get 'em for her too out of the postoffice. He used to address 'em to me. Can you beat it? Keith's all right. I like him. They ain't a thing against him 'cept he ain't rich and stuck up, like some of them guys in Acme. " Mom wanted Claire to be a swell dame with a front lawn and a electric coopay, and Claire wants a prairie and a wwwtang. Claire wanted Keith and she's got him. And I'm darned glad. So's Pop. Only it's right hard for him now. Just listen ! " " But if Mr. Holt was interested, he must feel pretty beaten this morning," I prodded. " He'll get over it," encouraged Andy. " I think he knew it. When he came down to that cotillion thing he took Claire a pile of messages from Bill. Maybe she wasn't walking on air for days ! I saw it. Mom could have seen it if she looked. Why, THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 197 hasn't Claire been meetin' him every day nearly, and a-sneakin' out to him at night. Naw, sir. If Holt ever had any hope of beatin' Bill's time, I think he give up 'fore he left here the last time." So that was why he came back to me and not to her ! Not pity for his mother's breaking years, nor for me. Merely shattered hopes of winning the girl he loved. Thank heaven, I didn't let him pick me up like that! Later Yet after all, was it not the part of wisdom to take what was left? May there not be after all one coin that can buy love, namely Love itself? I would not marry, God knows, hoping to win a man. But, since I am his wife, have I not the right to try? May I not find in the crumbs that she has left suf- ficient to keep my soul alive? Later But I shall not see him again. He leaves at dawn. I may not even send a note by Andy for the boy is too tired from chasing Claire to take the telegram that came to Dudley. He says he will forward it. It lies on the living-room table. Perhaps it is Claire's farewell. Mrs. Razor is prostrated. Mr. Razor has ordered her put to bed. They have sent for Dr. Honeywell. 198 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE Later I went in the living-room and looked at the yellow envelope. Perhaps it is not from Claire. Perhaps his mother is ill. Perhaps she is coming to him here, and asks him to stay. Who knows what it may hold? Ah, if I had the courage if I had the cour- age to take it to him! Midnight I have not been asleep. Mr. Graves and Meraud Burns are engaged. They told us to-night. Far out in California Re- becca is beside the sea with love. Claire and her guide wander, star-blind, amid the Rockies. Oh, God, have pity on all who stand outside the door of love! In the dug-out beyond El Leona, he is making ready to go. Perhaps, even now, he is saddling Chlo- rippe for an early start. In the gray light he will reach the little station and be borne forth into the dawn. Then will come the long year and his free- dom. Will freedom be of much worth to him now? Or will it be but ashes in his hands, as it is in mine? . . . Good-by, my husband! Good-by, my heart! God keep you and bless you ! Good-by ! XVIII 'May Ah, Jeremiah ! I have stumbled on you as I pack my trunk! Indeed, I had forgotten you, quite which is extraordinary, considering how intimate we've been the last three months ! Three months ago this day was I married, Jeremiah, and to-day I have read again my last entry and I recall how last night though it seems aeons ago, and I feel that by now I ought to be a mummy in a winding sheet ! I recall how last night I sat here with the brim-full moon outside, and wrote all slant-wise by its light. And here is a splash on the page, and here a streak, and there a most horrible blot! J never could cry tidily. And I thought of all the lovers in antiquity, and all the present-day lovers and all the lovers who hadn't yet been born, and I felt as if the concentrated essence of all their sufferings had been injected into me! I thought of how poor Claire had sat by this same window in isolated pain. I recalled how finally she had risen and flung on her clothes and gone out into the night. With the memory I laid my face down 199 200 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE hard on you. Jeremiah, and gripped the sill with both my hands. There came to me then the certain knowledge that Claire had, indeed, never loved him. That she had perhaps toyed with his heart in her game of subter- fuge, deceiving him along with the rest of her little world. How lonely, then, must be the world to him this night ! How bitter the memory of her promises ! J forgot the dual game he had, himself, been play- ing . . . forgot how, even at the last, waiting at the stile for me, he had tried to hold her to her vows with him. I forgot, indeed, all things but the desire to go to him, to comfort him, to heal his sorrow which must be as breaking as my own. But I would not. I gripped the sill until I bruised my palms. My place was not in the dust at his feet. I could not take the crumbs. Long I knelt there, and, when at last I rose, a great peace had come to me. There is fever in victory. Triumph does not al- ways mean repose. But the defeated win strange calm. I did not struggle now. Conquered entire, of that impulse outside and beyond me, like a plant unfolding, like a star whirled through its orbit, I obeyed. As calm as one who treads a precipice in sleep, I stole from the room. On the living-room table lay still the message bearing his name. I thrust it into my belt. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 201 The world outside was warm as if with the moon- glow. There was not a breath of wind. No stir of even a bird-wing, no sound. At the stables I saddled black Shadow, and, mount- ing, sped softly across the turf to the open road. The moon was high now and white with a dazzling whiteness. The prairies shimmered in its light like a great pool. I touched the frail spur to Shadow's flank and we flew like fire. Mile after shining mile fled back of us, and at last the dug-out came in sight, dark dark, and I knew that he was gone. A moment, blank and sick, and I moved forward slowly. Then suddenly the door opened, letting out a pale light and showing Chlorippe saddled and wait- ing just outside. I drew quick rein and there came over me with the suddenness of a flood, the realization of what I had done, the strangeness of my being there. It was as if the force that had so powerfully impelled me had relaxed its hold. Instantly I would have turned and retraced my steps, had I not remembered the tele- gram in my belt and what its tidings might mean to him. So, quietly oh, as quietly as the light feet of Shadow could tread, I rode a bit further, meaning to throw the message through the open door and flee away. Shadow nickered a greeting to Chlorippe, and I halted, fearful. Inside there was such utter 202 stillness that I took heart again. Softly I slipped from the saddle and, stealing through the sleeping flowers, I gained the step. There came the sound of a trunk-hasp snapping. And then, before I could fling the message or even catch my breath, he rose in the dim room and came to the open door. Tall and silent he stood, while I tried to speak and could not. Then, " Zoe ! " he said, in a voice so low it might have been the wind among the hills. I clung to the lintel for the moonlight was swim- ming about me, and I felt at my feet the warm edge of that tide of which my soul was afraid. " Zoe ! " he whispered. " You came ! " " To bring to bring you this," I answered, and I held out the message. He flung it aside. He laughed. He swept me into his arms. I could draw away no more than the sands can draw back when the tide comes up. And with his kiss, I went down into the deep. At last he held me from him, and in the pale glow I met his eyes. "Thou, my beloved," he breathed, "Art come to me!'* And I answered, looking into his eyes, " I yield my love to thee ! I yield my life to thee ! " but I could not say the rest, and he finished it for me, THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 203 " Enter thou into my soul ! " And again he drew me into his arms, though it seemed to me I could bear no more. " You know now what the words mean, Zoe ! " he whispered. He drew me from the door to a chair and sat down beside me. " They come from your heart, now, the little words ? " It was all so new, so wonderful, sit- ting with him thus by the light of the sooty lamp, with the moon singing outside, the beautiful, mended moon ! At last I said, " They came from my heart before, though I did not know what they meant. Dudley, I will tell you the truth. I love you. I don't know how long it has been, but I know it is for always." And with that he knelt down by my chair and laid his face in my hands and my palms received his kiss. And I whispered, " Now tell the truth to me. I can bear it. For you love me a little I think." He looked up. I shall never forget his face. " A little? " he whispered. " Oh, my God ! " And he hurt my hands with his. " Dudley," I answered, loving the pain, " since when? " " Since always ! Since I saw you first at your aunt's party in your little white dress. And before that ages before that. I died loving you, in the time of Rameses, and woke up that night, and began right where I had left off." 04 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE "But, Dudley! Wasn't it true, then, what the women said the night I married? " " About La Belle Grecque ? No. But you wouldn't let me explain." " La Belle Grecque ? Who on earth was that ? " (I was positive it was a corset!) " A chorus girl, my child, who wanted to advertise. Wasn't that what you heard ? " " No. But tell me tell me about her at once ! " So quickly do we women slap the reins when they are laid in our hands! " Why, gladly, my little shrew ! She was a bit of a girl when I knew her first . . . away out in a little Colorado mining town. I bought her father's claim for a pittance, and when it made me richer, I felt I owed them something more. So when the girl came to New York I got her a position with a manager I knew, helped her in other ways, till she got her start " he stopped. " And she wanted to advertise ? " " She sued me for breach of promise." " But she got no judgment, or whatever you call it? " " I compromised. Easily I could have won the case, but the notoriety of it I was engaged to you, Zoe, at the time, and as it was, it got into all the papers. I was not surprised when you " " I seem to remember," I said vaguely, " Aunt Em- meline's hiding the paper for a while." A light THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 205 dawned on me. " Did this girl did she go off to Asia Minor then? " He smiled. " To the Riviera." " Mrs. Razor got her mixed with me ! " I cried. " I don't care about La Belle Grecque. I don't think I should have been jealous even then. Only " I cupped his face on my hands and looked into his eyes, " did Aunt Emmeline ask you your inten- tions? " " Why " he frowned, as if trying to remember. " I somehow believe Yes, she did, now I think of it. I recall it because I was so downright relieved when she did. I hadn't thought I stood a ghost of a show with Carter and all those chaps in the ring." He laughed, pulling down my hands. Then his face sobered. " Was that it? " he cried. " For God's sake! " "Wasn't that enough?" Dudley looked utterly confounded. " Enough? It was an act of charity, a blessing out of high heaven ! Glorious, angelic Aunt Emme- line ! If ever she wants a But I felt afterward she had compelled you to it, and I couldn't forgive her for deceiving me in that regard." " Did she tell you I loved you, Dudley ? " " She didn't exactly " He mopped his face. " Two solid nights I stayed awake with the wonder of it the joy! It was that knowledge alone that kept me up when I thought my poor sham wild oats 206 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE had sprung up in a hedge between us. But you bowled me over as soon as I saw you, with your prompt withdrawal of my mighty staff ! " " I couldn't bear I couldn't bear she should have worked on your sympathy in such a way. I didn't know you loved me. How could I ? " " If she'd left us alone five minutes " he began. " Never mind Aunt Emmeline," I said. " What about Claire? " He drew his brows together. "Claire?" " Dudley ! " I cried. " You didn't love Claire before you told Aunt Emmeline your intentions, and a little bit after you came back here? " "Love her? Love Claire?" Then as if that might have sounded a bit ungallant, he added, " Claire's a fine girl, but she belonged to Bill. Be- sides, they knew I was married. They didn't get a card I forgot 'em but they saw a notice in a western paper, and sent me a gold shaving set." " My dear Dudley, they thought you married La Belle Grecque and got a divorce. Mrs. Razor told me herself that you loved Claire." " Stars and Gunboats ! I'm getting muddled," said Dudley. " Claire may have believed the canard about La Belle Grecque, but she told me all her woes with regard to Bill. She promised if I'd help her, she'd take my advice and not marry without her mother's consent. She never could win this, though THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 207 she honestly tried. I don't know what kind of game she finally began to play but I do know that I lost all influence over her when I wrote her a preachy let- ter from back home. I didn't want her getting you into trouble while I was gone." " She's married, Dudley." I watched his face. " Did you know? " "Know? I am afraid, Mrs. Doubting Thomas, that I was accessory to the crime, having discovered their plans the very night of the elopement. I was waiting at the stile for you you scamp, not to show up ! when Claire came breathlessly up, say- ing, * Have you got the license, Billy ? ' When I tried to reason with her, she called me fearful names, such as ' piker,' and * interfering thing.' So I finally let them go. I'd probably have argued longer for Mrs. Razor was coming and we might have won her consent but I wanted to see you. Why didn't you come? " " I was Oh, we're telling each other the truth ! I saw you with Claire ! I have thought all along " I covered my face. " My little girl ! " he said, drawing down my hands. " You wanted the divorce for me ? " I nodded. " But I promised to tell you if ever I found any- one as if such a thing could be ! " " I thought you were too kind." " And I thought Well, I thought first it was 208 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE this red-headed young doctor whom Willard saw drive you home once. Then I thought it was that Ver- vaine chap the old bachelor who used to walk with you and the kiddies in the park. Then, down here* I didn't know but you had switched off to one of the fellows at the dance. And, after a time, I was positive it was Jordan." " Was Willard the man in the gray coat who used to" " Yes. He was there to take care of you, but of course he saw ! And you didn't care for Jordan not at all? " " No, no ! I know what you mean, but I kept him on at the Falls that day, because I was afraid if I were left alone with you, I would You would guess " " Oh, my dear ! " he cried. *' What cross-pur- poses we've been at! And you were left with me a whole night, yet you didn't betray If only you had!" " If only you had ! " "But didn't I? Didn't you say that night that you felt sorry for me? Didn't you tell me in your last note that you'd known the truth all along? Oh, little one, if you knew what it had been to hold it back! Yet what could I gain by telling you except compassion, or allegiance, perhaps, from a sense of duty? I hate that word duty never say it to me ! I could not force you as I believed your aunt had THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 209 forced you. I felt you hated me, first because of this forced union, and again because of what you had heard and believed. I thought if I might, somehow, win you, even from a long way off, by proving my own love, my loyalty, asking nothing in return nothing that some day, you might come to me of your own will ! " " And I have ! " I whispered. " But you waited well, my little Lady Lucifer ! And what you endured like an obstinate little Spar- tan ! And what you made me endure ! The fear and hatred I felt when you encountered other men ! The freedom you seemed so anxious for, and the scorn with which you rejected my lawful donations! You've been remarkably naughty for a straw wife, Zoe! And then the awful catastrophe of Tubby for I really believed I was Tubby! I didn't realize the incongruity of playing frog-houses at eighteen. I honestly didn't." " I saw you once," I said. " You came down our walk with your mother. I thought you were her hus- band. You both kissed me." "What?" he cried. "I kissed you, Zoe, and forgot it? " and he repeated the exploit to refresh his memory. Then he whispered, " You are going back with me." I nodded. " To-day," he added. I nodded again, and then he said, " Do you know 210 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE what I have done ? It was before I found out I wasn't Tubby. It was as soon as your telegram came say- ing, * Come.' I have bought the Little House. Its roses and its little gate, its big brick wall, and its sea-sounds, they are ours ours ! . . . Why, my child!" For my head had bowed on his shoulder and I was drowning him in the happiest tears I had ever shed in all my life. " I can't believe it ! " I whispered. " Look up ! " he commanded. " Open this tele- gram you brought me and see if it doesn't say the Little House is ours." It did! It did! And to think I had borne it all the way, not knowing! " They're fixing it up now, Zoe, making it into a bower as sweet as it used to be. The roses are in their first glory, and my mother is waiting by the little flowered gate to welcome you. We'll go back for a little while, shan't we? And then to Hono- lulu if you like or Heaven, Zoe. Anywhere you say." " This just this is Heaven here in the dug- out," I answered. Then I rose quickly, still prisoned in his arms. " But if we are starting to-day, I must gather up my things," I said. " Some are in Acme. They can be sent " " We've missed the early train," said Dudley, " but there's another to-night." He lifted the little lamp. " Do you know what's in that trunk? " he asked. THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE I looked and recognized it, wondering at its pres- ence there. " It's your trunk," said Dudley. " Your aunt sent it to my rooms, along with our presents, and some rare old books that she said her husband had left to you. She always believed I'd get you and keep you in spite of yourself. In fact, she wrote me that such was my full duty, and she hinted that I could more easily accomplish it if I would refrain from safe-guarding you in the matter of funds. Think of winning you in that way, my girl! But several times I thought I must take her advice with regard to seizing and keeping you by brute force ! It was after Willard had reported certain things such as little worn-out shoes " " I'd plenty of shoes, really, but they were all too fine!" " Well, and strange plump gentlemen accosting you on the street, following you frenziedly " " Only one, Dudley ! " He set the lamp down, and took me in his arms. He seemed to have forgotten all about the trunk. " The night I saw you," he said, " for the first time down here, that night at the Razors' cotillion, I had just had a letter from Willard. You had es- caped his vigilance and left town left at night. You had always stayed in the house at night, you know ! He was tracing you. He had reason to be- lieve you had left on the same train as the young 212 physician! Think of it, Zoe! The desire to seize you that night almost mastered me so glad I was to behold you safe and sound ! " " Yet you looked so calm," I said. " Calm ? I was inwardly a ravening wolf for joy, and never so amazed in all my life. Mrs. Mor- ris had casually remarked, ' What a beautiful girl ! ' and I turned " " Was Mrs. Morris the lady in the twinkling pink dress ? " " Pink, was it ? I don't know. Anyhow, I turned and there stood my own little straw " " Don't call me a straw wife any more, Dudley ! Don't!" "Never more! The straw was just packing. We've pushed it all away, and here she is my little wife safe and sound, though she's traveled so long and so far and had so many bumps." " But you were surprised, Dudley ? " " To see you that night? My heart did a plunge almost to death ! And you looked so lovely, with the little rosy stars in your hair, and your golden butter- flies, and your dear white arms, so round and and yielding, Zoe. They seemed to yield so when you danced with the other chaps." " One must yield when one dances, Dudley ! " " And then you danced with me ! I seized you at last and kept you for the space of eleven minutes, perhaps ! I wonder if you knew what that meant ? " THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE " I think I did," I said. " And that night by the canyon when I took down your hair ! Oh, my girl my girl ! " He turned abruptly to the trunk and raised the lid. There by the pale light for the lamp had flickered out and the dawn was reddening I saw the ivory gloss of my wedding gown. Folded as a man folds things, it was, but sending forth a perfume and a glimmer of light. " Every night," he said, drawing me again within his arms. Then he stopped, his face shadowing. " But even you," he said, " might laugh at that ! " " No, no ! " I cried brokenly, " tell me ! " " Every night that I was alone, I have unfolded it the dress in which you looked so lovely, Zoe, the dress in which I thought you mine, and lived the hap- piest hour I had ever known until this night. Every night I have lifted it and hung it beside the wall, dreaming that you came to me again in the glimmer of candles and the mist of your white veil. I have felt even the tremor of your hand on my arm and the wonder and thrill of your nearness as we stood together that once, alone, before God." " Don't ! " I whispered. " Don't ! " For I knew now how much more that marriage had meant to him than to me, and how unworthy I was to enter into its holiness until now. " My ring ! " I whispered. " Give me back my ring!" THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE He lifted my hand. I felt the gold circlet slip upon my finger. Slowly he drew me into his arms. And it seemed as if all the organs in the world broke into our epithalamium, and all the choirs of heaven seemed to sing! And the white sun rose up beyond El Leona and flooded the world with light. It was our bridal day. "Listen, Dudley! Listen!" I said. For the sound of chugging and purring came distinctly from the road. In another minute an automobile hove into sight, and Mr. Razor and Mrs. Razor and Meraud Burns and Mr. Graves and Rufus Honeywell and Andy began tumbling out before it had reached the door. We stood there, hand in hand, to welcome them. And we might have been a pair of three-horned buf- faloes, to judge by their faces. Finding my bed untouched, just as they had found Claire's the morning before, wonder and dismay had seized the household. No doubt my grief over the flight of Claire had unhinged my reason, and I had mounted for they missed Shadow and was wan- dering the prairies, perhaps to my death! Mrs. Razor, aroused to new frenzy, was for dispatching detachments of riders in various directions, but Rufus had quieted her to ask the whereabouts of Dudley. " Gone," said Andy. " Perhaps not," Rufus had answered. " Her trunk's here." THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 215 " Her? What do you mean ? " cried Mrs. Razor. " Nothing at all. But before tearing up the men, suppose we ride over to Mr. Holt's quarters. He might be able to help us." So, mystified, and rather doubtful and very panicky, they had followed this suggestion and there, first thing, were Shadow and Chlorippe, rubbing noses, outside the dug-out! All this we learned afterward. At the time, our visitors merely tumbled out of the auto, and regarded us with- out a word. At last Mrs. Razor, very red and pant- ing, came forward and voiced the general emotion. " Mrs. Ballentyne, what does this mean ? " " My wife," introduced Dudley, still holding my hand, and smiling at the assembly quite pleasantly. Mrs. Razor sat down flat on a rose-bush. Mr. Razor shuffled up after a moment and shook both our hands. Meraud and Mr. Graves met each other's eyes. Only Andy spoke. " Got anything to eat? " he asked. " We haven't had breakfast." " You're on ! " laughed Dudley, clapping him on the back. " Come in, everybody ! " So they all surged in, looking curiously about the dug-out, as if it had suddenly attained some mysteri- ous interest, and sitting down on trunks and bed. Rufus assisted Mrs. Razor to the only chair we learned afterwards that he had been prodding her with hypodermics all night and went out again. He said he preferred his breakfast in the automobile. 216 THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE Then I bounced around and made coffee and fried some bacon and eggs. Dudley insisted on helping until I drove him out with a stern gesture of the lit- tle granite pot. Then he sat on the edge of the bunk and related briefly and quite clearly the whole story. He even dug up our marriage certificate and showed them the wedding gown. But he didn't tell them how he'd hung it up every night! And Mrs. Razor, sit- ting limply on the only chair, said she never would have supposed, to look at me, that I was a female chorus girl. Then Dudley set her right on that, : a little more sternly, I thought, than her depressed state warranted and she mopped her brow with her green motor veil and said she'd had about all she could stand, and Mr. Razor was responsible. Then I brought her some coffee, and Dudley and Mr. Graves set the table, and everybody began to chatter and eat. " Our wedding breakfast," I whispered to Dudley. " Nectar and ambrosia ! " he whispered back, and lifted the bacon aloft. He waved a toasting fork about the dug-out. " I wonder if they know this is Mount Olympus ? " he said. Perhaps they didn't, but laughing as they ate, and pelting us with banter except Mrs. Razor, who ab- stractedly drank her coffee they seemed to have quite accustomed themselves to the situation. Solemnly they toasted us, lifting their cups, and THE LITTLE STRAW WIFE 217 Mr. Graves made a speech in which he spoke feelingly and commingllj of brides and wine and roses, gazing all the time across the oilcloth-covered table into Meraud's soft gray eyes. Then Dudley responded, standing on a soap-box, and I don't know a word of what he said, for he looked so wonderful with the sun filtering through the little window and falling on his hair, that I couldn't listen. I only know that they all cheered and waved their cups, and Mrs. Razor said, " Let's go home." Which they did, joining Rufus in the automobile, and leaving us to follow on our horses. And all this day, while I am supposed to be pack- ing though, really, there was very little here to pack, and Meraud attended to that all this day Mr. Razor has been talking with Dudley, trying to buy back the ranch for Keith and Claire. As soon as I found it out, I bade Dudley let them have it. It is their Eden. How should we shut them out? And now I have turned a page the last page of My Honeymoon Journal. Yet the real Journal is only this day begun. This day we go forth to find that Eden of our own. 'And we shall enter by the Gate. For we have the Key. THE END A 000110218 5