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 < '-y^oi-*!!* <tA- 
 
 
 Ji Ho.au. llYd.(/->o/i^ 
 
 O? THE 
 UNIVBRSITT 
 OF . 
 CALIfOa^^ 
 
FUGITIVE PIECES 
 
 I N 
 
 VERSE and PROSE. 
 
 Pereunt et imputantur. 
 
 PRINTED AT STRAWBERRY-HILL. 
 
 MDCCLVIII. 
 
To THE Honorable 
 MAJOR GENERAL 
 
 Henry Seymour Conway. 
 
 IN dedicating a few trifles to you, I 
 have nothing new to tell the world. 
 My Efteem ftill accompanies your 
 merit, on which it was founded, and to 
 which, with fuch abilities as mine, I can 
 only bear teftimony ; I mufl not pretend 
 to vindicate it. If your Virtues and your 
 Talents can be forgot, if your aftions 
 at Fontenoy and at Laffelt, in Flanders 
 and in Scotland can fade away, fhall fuch 
 writings as mine endure ? Nay, if Roch- 
 fort, which you alone [romantic as the 
 attempt was] propofed to attack, can 
 A 2 be 
 
 M63i8S0 
 
[iv ] 
 
 be thrown into the fcale againft you, my 
 panegyric might be perverted to fatire 
 too; for when real merit is obnoxious 
 to blame, empty praife can hardly be 
 incorruptible. 
 
 When I abridge myfelf of the fatis- 
 fadlion of doing juftice to your charac- 
 ter, it becomes me to be very concife 
 about myfelf : Indeed any thing I could 
 ^dd on either, would neither raife Pofte- 
 rity's idea of me, nor be ncceffary to 
 ,conhrm what it muft think of you. I 
 only defire, if I Ihould be remembered 
 for thefe idleneffes, that it may be 
 known at the fame time that you did not 
 diflike them ; and [which will do me 
 ftill more honour] that our friendship 
 was as great as our affinity, 
 
 HORACE WALPOLE. 
 
[V] 
 
 T A B L E 
 
 O F 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Page- 
 
 JjTE RSE S on King Henry the Sixth, i 
 
 ^ Epijile to Mr. JJhton^ 6 
 
 Infcription for a column at Florence, 25 
 
 The Beauties, 28 
 
 Epilogue to Tamerlane, 36 
 
 The Entail, a Fable, 40 
 
 Epigram, 43 
 
 Epitaph on Lady JValpsle, 44 
 
 Scheme for a Tax on mejfage^cards and notes, 47 
 
 Advertifement of a neiu hook, 63 
 
 The World. N^ 6. On Deferts, &c. 70 
 
 N« 8. On King Theodore, -jc) 
 
 Supplement to the foregoing, 89 
 
 The 
 
[vi j 
 
 Page. 
 The World. N^ i o. On the change of Style^ 94 
 
 N® 14. On Letter-writing J 105 
 
 ; N^28. On the love of old Women, 116 
 
 N^ 1 03. On the good-breeding of 
 
 Highwaymen^ ' 
 
 N^l6o. On the fimplicity of an- g 
 cient times f ^ 
 
 N^ 195. On Suicide^ 
 The World extraordinary^ 160 
 
 The World. ♦ * * Scheme for encouragement 
 
 of learning by dejiroying books ^ J 69 
 
 Continuation of the fame^ 1 79 
 
 Letter from Xo Ho to Lien Chi, I9I 
 
 Inquiry into the age of the Count efs of Defmond, 202 
 
 Jnfcription on a pi^ure of the late Pope^ 217 
 
,v^ *.# 
 
FUGITIVE PIECES. 
 
 VERSES 
 
 IN MEMORY OF 
 
 King HENRY the Sixth, 
 Founder of KingVCollege, Cambridge. 
 
 [JFritten February 2y 1738.] 
 
 WHILE Superflition teaches to revere 
 -The fainted Calendar and kttcr'd 
 year ; 
 While Bigots joy in canonizing Shades, 
 Fi(ftitious Martyrs, vifionary Maids ; 
 Hafte, Gratitude, and hail this better day ; 
 At Henry's fhrine prefent thy votive lay ; 
 If this peculiarly for His be known, 
 Whofe Charity made ev'ry day his own, 
 
 B But 
 
C 2 ] 
 
 But fay, what Shrine ? my eyes in * vain 
 
 require 
 Th' engraven brafs and monumental Spire. 
 
 Henry knows none of thefe above ! around ! 
 
 Behold where e'er this penfile quarry's found. 
 Or fwelling into vaulted roofs it's weight, 
 Or fhooting columns into Gothic ftate. 
 Where e'er this Fane extends it's lofty frame, 
 t Behold the Monument to Henry's name ! 
 
 When Henry bad this pompous Temple rife. 
 Nor with prefumption emulate the fkies, 
 Art and Palladio had not reached the land. 
 Nor methodiz'd the Vandal Builder's hand : 
 Wonders, unknown to rule, thefe piles difclofe ; 
 The Walls, as if by infpiration, rofe. 
 The Edifice % , continued by his care. 
 With equal pride had form'd the fumptuous 
 fquare, 
 
 * King Henry is buried ohfcurcly at Windfor. 
 
 f 7his thought is copied from the infcription over 
 Sir Chrijiopher JVren^ who is buried under the 
 Dome of St, Paid^ of which He was the Ar chit e 51, 
 t« ~fi queer as monumentu?n^ fi^fp'^^^ - " 
 
 % The original plan is extant in the library of 
 the College. 
 
 Had 
 
•1 3 1 
 
 Had not th* AfTaflin difappointed part, 
 And ftab'd the growing fabric in his heart. 
 More humble hands, but grateful to the mind 
 That firft the royal benefit defign'd. 
 Renew the labour 1| , re-aflume the ftone, 
 And George's aufpices the ftrufture crown* 
 No lifelefs pride the rifing walls contain. 
 Neat without art, and regularly plain. 
 What tho' with pomp unequal finks the pile 
 Beneath the grandeur of the Gothic ifle ; 
 What tho' the modern Matter's weaker hand 
 Unexecuted drops what Henry plann'd ; 
 This for the Sons of Men is an Abode, 
 But that the Temple of the living God/ 
 
 Afcend the Temple ! join the vocal choir. 
 Let Harmony your raptur'd fouls infpire. 
 Hark how the tuneful folemn Organs blow. 
 Awfully ftrong, elaborately flow ; 
 Now to the empyrean feats above 
 Raife meditation on the wings of love; 
 
 II The new Building was raifed at the expence of 
 the College^ and by contributions of the Minijlers^ 
 Nobility and others, 
 
 B 2 Now 
 
C 4 ] 
 
 Now falling, finking, dying to the moan 
 
 Once warbled fad by Jefle's contrite Son, 
 
 Ereathe in each note a confcience thro' the fenfe. 
 
 And call forth tears from foft-ey'd Penitence. 
 
 Sweet ftrains along the vaulted roof decay. 
 
 And liquid Hallelujahs melt away; 
 
 The floating accents lefs'ning as they flow. 
 
 Like diftant arches gradually low. 
 
 Tafte has not vitiated our purer ear. 
 
 Perverting founds to merriment of pray'r. 
 
 Here mild Devotion bends her pious knee» 
 
 Calm and unruffled as a fummer fea ; 
 
 Avoids each wild enthufiaflic tone. 
 
 Nor borrows utt'rance from a tongue unknown. 
 
 O Henry ! from thy lucid orb regard 
 How purer hands thy pious cares reward ; 
 Now Heav'n illuminates thy godlike mind 
 From Superftition's papal gloom refin'd : 
 Behold thy Sons with that religion blcft. 
 Which thou wou'dfl: own and Carouke 
 
 profefs'd 
 
 Great §, mournful Name ftruck with the well- 
 known found. 
 Their Patronefs ! the Mufes droop around, 
 
 § ^een Caroline died in the preceding No- 
 vember. Unftruns 
 
[ 5 } 
 
 Unftrung their lyres, inanimate their lays. 
 
 Forget to celebrate e'en Henry's praife 
 
 I ceafe, ye Mufes, to implore your fong ; 
 I ceafe your tunelefs filent grief to wrong ; 
 And Henry's praife refer to that great Day, 
 Which *, what He was, fhall, when it comes, 
 difplay. 
 
 * The thought of the lafl line alludes to an epitaph 
 in the Chapel of King's College^ which is mentioned 
 in the Spe^ator : " Hie fitus ejl^ N. N. ^ualis 
 *' erarny Dies ijlic cum venerit^ fcies : " Which 
 being a monkijh verfe^ Mr, Addifon has changed thi 
 loft word fcies inta indicabit. 
 
 AN 
 
C ^ J 
 
 A N 
 
 EPISTLE from FLORENCE. 
 
 21? Thomas Ashton, £/^; 
 Tutor to the Earl of Plimouth. 
 
 l^VritUn in the Year 1 740. J 
 
 WHEN flourifli'd with their ftate th* 
 Athenian name. 
 And Learning and Politenefs were the fame, 
 Philorophy with gentle arts refin'd 
 The honeft roughnefs of th' unpraflis'd mind : 
 She call'd the latent beams of Nature forth. 
 Guided their ardor and infur'd their worth. 
 She pois'd th' impetuous Warrior's vengeful jfleel, 
 Mark'd true Ambition from deftruclive Zeal, 
 Pointed what luftre on that laurel blows. 
 Which Virtue only on her fons beftows. 
 Hence clement Cimon, of unfpotted fame. 
 Hence Aristides' ever-fav'rite name; 
 Heroes, who knew to wield the righteous fpear. 
 And guard their native tow'rs from foreign fear ; 
 Or in firm bands of focial Peace to bind 
 Their Country's good, and benefit Mankind. 
 
 She 
 
C 7 ] 
 
 She trim'd the thoughtful Statefman's nightly oil. 
 Confirmed his mind beneath an empire's toil. 
 Or with him to his filent villa ftole. 
 Gilded his ev'ning hours, and harmoniz'd his fouL 
 
 Td woods and caves fhe never bade retreat. 
 Nor fix'd in cloyfter'd monkeries her feat : 
 No lonely precepts to her fons enjoin'd, 
 Nor taught them to be men, to fhun mankind. 
 Cynics there were, an uncouth felfifhrace. 
 Of manners foul, and boaftful of difgrace : 
 Brutes, whom no mufe has ever lov'd to name, 
 Whofe Ignominy is their only fame. 
 No hoftile Trophies grace their honour'd urn. 
 Around their tomb no fculptur'd Virtues mourn j 
 Nor tells the marble into emblems grav'd 
 An Art difcover'd or a City fav'd. 
 
 Be this the goal to which the Briton-Pecf 
 Exalt his hope, and prefs his young career ! 
 Be this the goal to which, my Friend, may you 
 With gentle fkill direfl: his early view ! 
 Artful the various ftudies to difpenfe. 
 And melt the fchoolman's jargon down to fenfe. 
 
 See the pedantic Teacher, winking dull. 
 The letter'd Tyrant of a trembling fchopl ; 
 
 Teaching 
 
I 8 ] 
 
 Teaching by force, and proving by a frown. 
 
 His lifted fafces ram the lefTon down. 
 
 From tortur'd ftrains of Eloquence he draws 
 
 Barbaric precepts and unmeaning laws, 
 
 By his own (tnk v/ould Tully's word expound. 
 
 And a new Vandal tramples clallic ground. 
 
 Perhaps a Bigot to the learned page, 
 No modern cuftom can his thoughts engage ; 
 His little farm by f Georgic rules he ploughs. 
 And prunes by metre the luxuriant boughs; 
 Still from Aratus' fphere or Marc's figns 
 The future calm or tempeft he divines, 
 And fears if the prognoftic Raven's found 
 * Expatiating alone along the dreary round. 
 
 What fcanty precepts ! fludles how confin'd I 
 Too mean to fill your comprehenfive mind ; 
 Unfatisfy'd with knowing when or where 
 Some Roman Bigot rais'd a Fane to Fear ; 
 On what green medal Virtue ftands exprefs'd. 
 How Concord's picftur'd, Liberty how drefs'd ; 
 
 " f This zvas Utter ally the cafe of a SchooUmaJhr of 
 Eton^ who loji a confiderahle fum by the experiment, 
 
 * Et fola in ficca fecumfpatiotur arena. V i r o . 
 
 Or 
 
C 9 } 
 
 Or with wife ken judlcioufly define. 
 When Pius marks the honorary coin 
 Of Caracalla, or of Antonine. 
 
 I 
 
 Thirfting for Knowledge, but to know the 
 right, 
 Thro' judgment's optic guide th' illufive fight. 
 To let in rays on Reafon's darkling cell, 
 And lagging miils of prejudice difpel; 
 For this you turn the Greek and Roman page, 
 Weigh the contemplative and adlive Sage, 
 And cull fome ufeful fiow'r from each hiftoric 
 Ao-e. 
 
 ! 
 
 Thence teach the Youth the neceflary art. 
 To know the Judge's from the Critic's part ; 
 Show how ignoble is the paiiion. Fear, 
 And place fome patriot Roman's model near; 
 Their bright examples to his foul inftil, 
 Who knew no Fear, but that of doing ill. 
 Tell him, 'tis all a cant, a trifle all. 
 To know the folds that from the Toga fall, 
 TheCLAVUs' breadth, the Bulla's golden round. 
 And ev'ry leaf that ev'ry Virtue crown'd ; 
 But (how how brighter in each honeft breaft. 
 Than in her fhrine, the Goddefs flood confefs'd, 
 
 C Tell 
 
•[ 10 ~] 
 
 Tell him> it is not the fantaftic Boy, 
 Elate with pow'r and fwell'd with frantic joy, 
 fTis not a flavifii Senate, fawning, bafe. 
 Can ftamp with honefl: fame a worthlefs race : 
 Tho' the falfe Coin proclaim him great and wife. 
 The tyrant's life fliall tell that Coin, it lyes. 
 
 But when your early Care fhall have defign'd 
 To plan the Soul and mould the waxen Mind ', 
 When you Ihall pour upon his tender Bread 
 Ideas that muft ftand an Age's Teft, 
 Oh ! there imprint with ftrongefl deepeft dye 
 The lovely form of Goddefs Liberty ! 
 For her in Senates be he train'd to plead. 
 For her in Battles be he taught to bleed. 
 Lead him where Dover's rugged cliiFrefounds 
 With dafhing feas, fair Freedom's honeft Bounds, 
 Point to yon azure Carr bedrop'd with gold, 
 Whofe weight the necks of Gallia's Sons uphold s 
 Where proudly fits an iron-fcepter'd Queen, 
 And fondly triumphs o'er the proftrate fcene. 
 Cry, that is Empire ! fhun her baleful path, 
 Her Words are Slavery, her Touch is Death ! 
 Thro' wounds and blood the Fury drives her way, 
 And murthers half, to make the reft her prey. 
 
 Thus 
 
[ II ] 
 
 Thus fpoke each Spartan Matron, as (he drefs'd: 
 With the bright cuirafs her young Soldier's breaft j-. 
 On the new Warrior's tender-fincw'd thigh. 
 Girt Fear of Shame and Love of Liberty. 
 
 Steel'd with fuch precepts, for a caufe fo good. 
 What fcanty Bands the Perfian Hoft withftood ! 
 Before the Sons of Greece let Afia tell 
 How fled her f Monarch, how her Millions fell ! 
 When arm'd for Liberty, a Few how brave ! 
 How weak a Multitude, where each a Slave ! 
 No welcome Falchion fill'd their fainting hand. 
 No Voice infpir'd of favourite Command : 
 No Peafant fought for wealthy lands poflefs'd. 
 No fond remembrance warm'd the Parent's breaft ; 
 They faw their lands for royal riot groan. 
 And toird in vain for banquets, not their own ^ 
 They faw their infant Race to bondage rife, 
 And frequent heard the raviih'd Virgin's cries, 
 Diflionour'd but to cool a tranfient guil: 
 Of fome luxurious Satrap's barb'rous luft, 
 
 t Xerxes, 
 
 C 2 The 
 
1 
 
 i 12 ] 
 
 The greatefl: curfes any Age has known 
 Have iflued from the Temple or the Throne ; 
 Extent of ill from Kings at firfl: begins. 
 But Priefts muft aid and confecrate their fins. 
 The tortur'd Subjeft might be heard complain. 
 When finking under a new weight of chain. 
 Or more rebellious might perhaps repine. 
 When tax'd to dow'r a titled Concubine, 
 But the Priefl: chriftens all a Right Divine, 
 
 When at the altar a new Monarch kneels. 
 What conjur'd awe upon the people fteals ! 
 The chofen He adores the precious oil. 
 Meekly receives the folemn charm, and while 
 The Priefl fome blefled nothings mutters o'er. 
 Sucks in the facred greafe at ev'ry pore : 
 He feems at once to fhed his mortal ficin, 
 And feels Divinity transfused within. 
 The trembling Vulgar dread the royal Nod, 
 And worfhip God's anointed more than God. 
 
 Such Sandion gives the Prelate to fuch Kings I 
 So Mifchief from thofe hallow'd fountains fprings^ 
 But bend your eye to yonder harrafs'd plains. 
 Where King and Prieft in one united reigns ; 
 
 See 
 
C 13 I 
 
 See fair Italia mourn her holy ftate. 
 
 And droop opprefs'd beneath a papal weight : 
 
 Where fat Celibacy ufurps the foil. 
 
 And facred Sloth confumes the peafant's toil : 
 
 The holy Drones monopolize the fky. 
 
 And plunder by a vow of Poverty. 
 
 The Chriftian Caufe their lewd profcilion taints, 
 
 Unlearn'd, unchafte, uncharitable Saints, 
 
 Oppreflion takes Religion's hallow'd name. 
 And Prieftcraft knows to play the fpecious game* 
 Behold how each enthufiaftic fool 
 Of duftile piety, becomes their tool : 
 Obferve with how much art, what fine pretence 
 They hallow Foppery and combat Senfe, 
 
 Some hoary Hypocrite, grown old in fin, 
 Whofe thoughts of heav'n with his laft hours 
 
 begin, 
 Counting a chaplet with a bigot care. 
 And mumbling fomewhat 'twixt a charm and 
 
 pray'r, 
 Hugs a dawb'd image of his injur'd Lord, 
 And fqueezes out on the dull idol-board 
 
 A fore-ey'd 
 
[ 14 ] 
 
 A fore-cy'd gum of tears ; the flannel Crew 
 With cunning joy the fond repentance view. 
 Pronounce Him blefs'd, his miracles proclaim. 
 Teach the flight croud t' adore his hallow'd name. 
 Exalt his praife above the Saints of old. 
 And coin his fmking confcience into Gold. 
 
 Or when fomc Pontiff with imperious hand 
 Sends forth his cdi6l to excife the land. 
 The tortur'd Hind unwillingly obeys. 
 And mutters curfcs as his mite he pays ! 
 The fubtle Pricfl th' invidious name forbears, 
 Alks it for holy ufe or venal pray'rs ; 
 Exhibits all their trumpery to fale, 
 A bone, a mouldy morfel, or a nail : 
 Th' idolatrous Devout adore the fhow. 
 And in full flrcams the molten oflF 'rings flow. 
 
 No pagan Objefl:, nothing too profane ; 
 To aid the Romiih zeal for Chriftian gain. 
 Each Temple with nev/ weight of idols nods. 
 And borrow'd Altars fmoke to other Gods. 
 Prometheus' VulturMATTHEw's Eagle proves^ 
 And heav'nly Cherubs fprout from heathen Loves ; 
 
 Youivz 
 
[ 15 1 
 
 Young Ganymede a winged Angel ftands 
 By holy Luke, and diftates God's commands : 
 * Apollo, tho' degraded, ftill can blefs. 
 Rewarded with a Sainthood, and an S, 
 Each convert Godhead is apoftoliz'd. 
 And Jove himfelf by f Peter's name's baptiz'd. 
 As T ARTE fhines in Jewifh A^ary's fame. 
 Still Queen of Heav'n, another and the fame. 
 
 While the proud Priefl the facred Tyrant reigns 
 Of empty cities and difpeopled plains. 
 Where fetter'd Nature is forbid to rove 
 In the free commerce of produdive Love. 
 Behold imprifon'd with her barren kind. 
 In gloomy cells the votive Maid confin'd ; 
 Faint ftreams of blood, by long ftagnation weak. 
 Scarce tinge the fading damalk of her cheek ; 
 In vain (he pines, the holy Faith withftands, 
 What Nature dicSates and what God commands ; 
 But if fome fanguine He, fome lufty Prieft 
 Of jollier morals tafte the tempting feaft, 
 
 * St. Jpollos. 
 
 t Jt St, Peter"* s an oUJlatiie of "Jupiter ts turn- 
 ed into one of St, Peter* 
 
 From 
 
r iM 
 
 From the ftrong grafp if fome poor Babe arife. 
 Unwelcome, unindear'd, it inftant dks^ 
 Or poifons blafting foon the hafty joy, 
 Th' imperfedl feeds of infant life deftroy. 
 
 Fair Modefty, thou virgin tender-ey'd, 
 From thee the Mufe the grofler afts muft hide. 
 Nor the dark cloifter's myftic rites difplay, -^ 
 Whence numerous brawny Monkhoods wafte / 
 away, i 
 
 And unprolific, tho' forfworn, decay. ^ 
 
 Britannia fmiling, views her golden plains 
 
 From mitred bondage free and papal chains ; 
 
 Her jocund Sons pafs each unburthen'd day 
 
 Securely quiet, innocently gay : 
 
 Lords of themfelves the happy Ruftics fing. 
 
 Each of his little tenement the King. 
 
 Twice did ufurping Rome extend her hand, 
 
 To re-inflave the new-del iver'd land : 
 
 Twice were her fable bands to battle warm'd. 
 
 With pardons, bulls, and texts, and murthers 
 
 arm'd : 
 
 Witli 
 
r 17 3 
 
 II With Peter's fword and Michael*s knee 
 
 were fent. 
 And whate'er ftores fupply'd the Church's arma- 
 
 menti 
 Twice did the gallant Albion race repell 
 The jefult legions to the gates of hell ; 
 Or whate'er Angel, friend to Britain, took, 
 Or William's or Eliza's guardian look. 
 
 A rife, young Peer ! fliine forth in fuch a caufe ! 
 Who draws the fword for Freedom, juftly draws. 
 Refle£t how dearly was that freedom bought ; 
 For that, how oft your anceftors have fought ; 
 Thro' the long feries of our princes down. 
 How wrench'd fome right from each too potent 
 Crown. 
 
 See abjedl JoHK, that vaflal Monarch, fee! 
 Bow down the royal neck, and crouch the fupple 
 
 knee ! 
 Oh ! proftitution of imperial State ! 
 To a vile Romifli Prieft's vile § Delegate ? 
 
 II Addit Jff Herculeos Arcus Hajiamque Minerva^ 
 ^ucquid hahent telorum armamentaria Call. J u V. 
 § The Pope's Nuncio. 
 
 D Hhn 
 
Him the bold Barons fcorning to obey, 
 
 And be the fubje^s of a fubjea: fway ; 
 
 Heroes, whofe names to lateft fame (hall fliine, 
 
 Aw'd by no vifions of a Right Divine, 
 
 That bond by eaftern Politicians wrought, 
 
 Which ours have learnt, and Rabbi Doftors 
 
 taught, 
 To ftraiter banks reftrain'd the Royal Will, 
 That great prerogative of doing ill. 
 
 To late example and experience dead. 
 See X Henry in his Father's footfteps tread. 
 Too young to govern, immature to pow'r. 
 His early follies haunt his lateft hour. 
 His Nobles injur'd, and his Realms opprefs'd, 
 No violated fenate's wrongs redrefs'd. 
 His hoary age finks in the feeble wane 
 Of an inglorious, flighted, tedious reign. 
 
 The mufe too long with idle glories fed. 
 And train'd to trumpet o'er the warlike dead. 
 The wanton fain on giddy plumes would foar 
 To Gallic Loire and Jordan's humbled fhore ; 
 
 t Henry III. 
 
 Asaia 
 
t 19 ) 
 
 Again would teach the Saracen and GauJ 
 At * Edv/ard's and at f Henry's name to fall 3 
 Romantic heroes ! prodigal of blood ; 
 What numbers ftain'd each ill difputed flood ; 
 Tools to a Clergy ! warring but to feaft 
 With fpoils of provinces each pamper'd Prieft. 
 Be dumb, fond Maid j thy facred ink nor fpill 
 On fpecious Tyrants, popularly ill : 
 Nor be thy comely locks with Rofes dight 
 Of either vidor colour, Red or White. 
 
 Foil'd the aflaflin J King, in union blow 
 The blended flowers on feventh Henry's brow. 
 Peace lights again on the forfaken ftrand. 
 And banifli'd plenty re-aflTumes the land. 
 No nodding creft the crouching infant frights. 
 No clarion rudely breaks the bride's delights ; 
 Repofmg fabres feck their ancient place 
 To briftle round a gaping |{ Gorgon's face, 
 
 * Edward L and III, 
 
 t Henry V. 
 
 t Richard III. 
 
 II Medufa's head in the armory at the Tower, 
 
 D 2 The 
 
t 20 ] 
 
 The wearied arms grotefquely deck the wall, 
 And tatter'd trophies fret the Royal * hall. 
 But Peace. in vain on the blood-fatten'd plains 
 From a redundant horn her treafures rains ; 
 She deals her gifts ; but in a ufelefs hour. 
 To glut the iron hand of griping pow'r : 
 Such Lancaster, whom harrafs'd Britain faw» 
 Mafk'd in the garb of antiquated Law ; 
 More politic than wife, more wife than great j 
 A legiflator to enflave the ftate j 
 Cooly malicious ; by defign a knave ; 
 More mean than falfe, ambitious more than brave } 
 Attached to intereft's more than honour's call 5 
 More ftri6l than juft, more covetous than all. 
 
 Not fo the Reveller profufe, his f Son, 
 His contraft courfe of tyranny begun ; 
 Robuft of limb, and flufh'd with florid grace. 
 Strength nerv'd his youth, and fquar'd his jovial 
 
 face. 
 To feats of arms and carpet-combats prone. 
 In either field the vigVous Monarch (hone : 
 
 * mjlmlnJier-Halh 
 t Henry VIIL 
 
 Mark'd 
 
t 21 J 
 
 MarkM out for riot each luxurious clay- 
 In tournaments and banquets danc'd awajr. 
 But fhift the fcene, and view what (laughters 
 
 ftain 
 Each frantic period of his barb'rous reign : 
 A Tyrant to the people whom he rul'd. 
 By ev'ry potentate he dealt with, fool'd ; 
 Sold by one f minifter, to all unjuft ; 
 Sway'd by each di6late of diftemper'd luft ; 
 Changing each worfliip that controul'd the bent 
 Of his adult'rous will, and lewd intent ; 
 Big in unwieldy majefly and pride, 
 And fmear'd with Queens and Martyrs blood. 
 
 He dy'd. 
 
 Pafs we the pious X Youth too flightly feen ; 
 The murd'rous zeal of a weak Romifh || Queen t 
 Nor with faint pencil, impotently vain. 
 Shadow the glories of Eliza's reign, 
 Who ftill too great, tho' fome few faults (he had. 
 To catalogue with all thofe Royal bad, 
 
 f Cardinal Woolfey. 
 
 X Edward VI. 
 
 11 Mary. 
 
 Arifc ! 
 
[ 22 j 
 
 Arifef great James! thy courfe of wifdom 
 run ! 
 Image of David's philofophic Son ! 
 He comes ! on either hand in feemly ftate, 
 Knowledge and Peace his fondled handmaids wait ; 
 Obfcurely learn'd, elaborately dull. 
 Of quibbling cant and grace fanatic fuU, 
 Throned in full fenates, on his pedant tongue, 
 Thefe for fix hours each weighty morning hung ; 
 For thefe each ftring of royal pow'r he ftrain*d. 
 For thefe he fold whate'er Eliza gain'd ; 
 For thefe he fquander'd ev'ry prudent ftore 
 The frugal Princefs had referv'd before. 
 On penfion'd fycophants and garter'd boys. 
 Tools of his will, and minions of his joys. 
 Tor thefe he let his beggar'd * daughter roam ; 
 Bubbled for thefe by Spanifh art at home ; 
 For thefe, to fum the bleflings of his reign, 
 Poifon'd one Son f, and t'other fent to Spain. 
 
 Retire, ftri£l mufe, and thy impartial verfc 
 In pity fparc on Charles's bleeding hcrfe j 
 
 * ^,een of Bohemia. 
 
 f Prince Henry and Charles I. 
 
 Or 
 
[ 23 ] 
 
 Or all his faults in blackeft notes tranflate 
 To tombs where rot the authors of his fate ; 
 To luftful Henrietta's Romifhfhade 
 Let all his adls of lawlefs pow'r be laid ; 
 Or to the * Prieft more Romifh flill than her ; 
 And whoe'er made his gentle virtues err. 
 
 On the next f Prince expell'd his native land 
 In vain Affliftion laid her iron hand ; 
 Fortune or fair or frowning, on his foul 
 Cou'd ftamp no virtue, and no vice controul ; 
 Honour, or morals, gratitude, or truth. 
 Nor learn'd his ripen'd age, nor knew his youth ; 
 The care of Nations left to whores or chance, 
 Plund'rer of Britain, penfioner of France j 
 Free to buffoons, to minifters deny'd. 
 He lived an atheift, and a bigot dy'd. 
 
 The reins of Empire, or refign'd or ftolc. 
 Are trufted next to James's weak controul -, 
 Him, meditating to fubvert the laws. 
 His Hero j] Son in Freedom's beauteous caufc 
 
 * Archbtjhop Laud. 
 f Charles II. 
 
 II rrilliamlll. 
 
 Rofc 
 
[ 24 ] 
 
 Rofe to chaftife : J unhappy ftill ! however 
 Poftcrity the gallant adion bear. 
 
 Thus have I try'd of Kings and Priefts to fing, 
 And all the ills that from their vices fpring ; 
 While vidor George thunders o'er either Spain, 
 Revenges Britain and afferts the Main -, 
 To II willing Indians deals our equal hv/s^ 
 And from his Country's voice afFeds applaufe ; 
 § What time fair Florence on her peaceful fhore. 
 Free from the din of war and battle's roar. 
 Has lap'd me trifler in inglorious eafe. 
 Modelling precepts that may ferve and pleafe; 
 Yours is the tafk— — --and glorious is the plan. 
 To bqild the Free, the Senfible, Good Man. 
 
 J Infelix utcumque ferent eafa^ia minor ei ! V i R G . 
 II _ Volentes 
 
 Per fopulos dot jura viamque affe^at Olympo. 
 
 VlRG» 
 § Illo VlrgtliutTn me tempore dulcis alehat 
 
 Parthemp^yjiudiis Florentem igmbilis otL Vl R G , 
 
 IN. 
 
[ 25 ] 
 
 INSCRIPTION 
 For the neglected Column 
 
 In the Place of 
 St. MARK at FLORENCE. 
 
 {TVritten in the Tear 1740.] 
 
 ESCAP'D a * Race, whofe vanity ne'er 
 rais'd 
 A Monument, but when Themfelves it prais'd. 
 Sacred to Truth O ! let this Column rife. 
 Pure from falfe Trophies and infcriptive Lies ! 
 Let no Enflavers of their Country here 
 In impudent Relievo dare appear : 
 No Pontiff by a ruin'd Nation's blood 
 Lufting to aggrandize His Baflard brood : 
 
 ^ The Family of Medici. 
 
 E Be 
 
r 26 1 
 
 Be here no f Clement, "J; Alexander feen. 
 No poys'ning 1| Cardinal, or poys'ning § Queen 2 
 No Cofmo, or the ^ bigot Duke, or * He 
 Great from the wounds of dying Liberty. 
 
 No %X Lorrainer one lying §§ Arch fuffice 
 
 To tell his Virtues and his Victories : 
 
 t Cardi?tal 'Julio de Medici^ afterwards CZf- 
 meyit VII. 
 
 X Alexander^ the firjl Duke of Florence^ killed 
 by Lorenzino de* Medici* 
 
 II Ferdinand the Great^ was frjl Cardinal and 
 
 then became Great Duke^ by poyfoning his elder 
 
 Brother Francis I. and his wife Bianca Ca- 
 pello, 
 
 § Catherine of Medici^ wife of Henry 11. King 
 cf France, 
 
 ff Cofmo III. 
 
 * Cofmo the Great enjiaved the Republics of 
 Florence and Siena, 
 
 X% Francis II. Duke of Lorrain^ which He 
 gave up to France^ ^g^i^/l the Command of his 
 Mother^ and the Petitions of all his SubjeStSj and 
 had Tufcany in Exchange. 
 
 §§ The Triumphal Arch ere^iid to Him without 
 the Porta San Galk^ 
 
 Beneath 
 
[ 27 ] 
 
 Beneath his foft'ring eye how * Commerce thriv'd. 
 Beneath his Smile how drooping Arts reviv'd : 
 Let IT relate, e'er fmce His Rule begun. 
 Not what He has, but what He fliou'd have done. 
 
 Level with Freedom, let this Pillar mourn. 
 Nor rife, before the radi'ant Blifs return ; 
 Then tow'ring boldly to the Skies proclaim 
 Whate'er (hall be the Patriot Hero's Name, 
 Who, a new Brutus, fliall his Country free. 
 And, like a GOD, ih all fay. Let there bb 
 Liberty ! 
 
 * Tivo Infcriptions over the lejfer Archer call him 
 ** Reji'itntor Commerc'ii^ and Propagator Bonarum 
 *^ Artium^'* as his Equejirlan Statue on Horjeback 
 trampling on Turksy on the fummit^ reprefents the 
 viSiories that He was deftgned to gain over that 
 People^ when He received the coinmand of the Em» 
 peror^s Armies^ but was prevented by fomc Fivers • 
 
 E % The 
 
C 28 ] 
 
 The BEAUTIES. 
 
 An Epistle to Mr. Eckardt the Paintpn 
 [Written in the Year 1 746. J 
 
 DEfponding artift, talk no more 
 Of Beauties of the days of yore. 
 Of GoddefTes renown'd in Greece, 
 And Zeuxis- compofition-piece. 
 Where every nymph that could at moft 
 Some fmgle grace or feature boaft. 
 Contributed her favorite charm 
 To perfefl: the ideal form. 
 •Twas Cynthia's brow^, 'twas Lesbians eye^ 
 'Twas Cloe's cheek's vermilion dye ; 
 RoxANA lent the noble air, 
 Difheveird flovir'd Aspasia's hair. 
 And Cupid much too fondly prefs'd 
 His mimic mother Thais' breaft. 
 
 Antiquity, how poor thy ufc ! 
 A fmgle Venus to produce / 
 
 Friend 
 
[ 29 ] 
 
 Friend Eckardt, ancient ftory quit. 
 Nor mind whatever Pliny writ j 
 Felibien and Frefnoy difclaim. 
 Who talk of Raphael's matchlefs fame. 
 Of Titian's tints, Corregio's grace. 
 And Carlo's each Madonna face. 
 As if no Beauties now were made, 
 But Nature had forgot her trade. 
 *Twas Beauty guided Raphael's line. 
 From heavenly Women ftyl'd divine ; 
 They warm'd old Titian's fancy too. 
 And what he could not tafte, he drew : 
 Think you Devotion warm'd his breaft 
 When Carlo with fuch looks exprefs'd 
 His virgins, that her votVies feel 
 Emotions not, I'm fure, of zeal ? 
 
 In Britain's ifle obferve the Fair, 
 And curious chufe your models there ; 
 Such patterns as fhall raife your name 
 To rival fweet Corregio's fame ; 
 Each fmglc piece fhall be a teft. 
 And Zeuxis' patchwork but a jeft ; 
 Who ranfack'd Greece, and cull'd the age 
 To bring one Goddefs on the ftage : 
 
 On 
 
C 30 J 
 
 On your each canvafs we'll admire 
 
 The charms of the whole heav'nly choir. 
 
 Majeftic Juno fliall be feen 
 In * Hervey's glorious awful mien. 
 Where f Fitzroy moves, refplendent Fair 5 
 So warm her bloom, fublimc her air i 
 Her ebon trefles, form'd to grace, 
 And heighten while they ftiade her face; 
 Such troops of martial youth around. 
 Who court the hand that gives the wound ^ 
 *Tis Pallas, Pallas {lands confefs'd, 
 Tho' X Stanhope's more than Paris blefs'd* 
 So II Cleveland flione in warlike pride. 
 By Lely's pencil deify'd : 
 So § Grafton, matchlefs dame, commands j. 
 The faireft work of Kneller's hands : 
 
 * Mtfs Hervey^ now Lady Lepelk Phlpps^^ 
 t Lady Caroline Fitzroy. 
 % Lord Peterjham, 
 
 H The Duchefs of Cleveland like Pallas among 
 the beauties at Ivindjor. 
 
 § The Duchefs of Grafton among thi beauties 
 
 at Hampton-Court. 
 
 The 
 
t 3» 3 
 
 The blood that warm'd each amorous court^ 
 In veins as rich ftill loves to fport : 
 And George's age beholds reftor'd. 
 What William boafted, Charles ador'd. 
 
 For Venus's the Trojan ne'er 
 Was half fo puzzled to declare : 
 Ten Queens of Beauty, fure I fee ! 
 Yet fure the true is * Emily : 
 Such majefty of youth and air. 
 Yet modeft as the village fair : 
 Attracting all, indulging none. 
 Her beauty like the glorious Sun 
 Thron'd eminently bright above. 
 Impartial warms the vi^orld to love. 
 
 In fmiling f C a pel's bounteous look 
 Rich Autumn's Goddefs is miftook : 
 With poppies and with fpiky corn, 
 Eckardt, her nut-brown curls adorn ; 
 And by her fide, in decent line. 
 Place charming J Berkeley, Proferpinc. 
 
 * Lady Emily Lenox^ now Count efs of Kildare. 
 
 t Lady Mary CapeL 
 
 J Elizabeth Drax Countefs of Berkeley^ 
 
 Mild 
 
I 
 
 Mild as a fummer fca, ferene. 
 
 In dimpled beauty next be feen 
 
 * Aylesb'ry, like hoary Neptune's Queen. 
 
 With her the light-dlfpenfing Fair, 
 Whofe beauty gilds the morning air. 
 And bright as her attendant iun. 
 The new Aurora, f Lyttleton. 
 Such J Guido's pencil beauty-tip'd. 
 And in etherial colours dip'd. 
 In meafur'd dance to tuneful fong 
 Drew the fweet Goddefs, as along 
 Heaven's azure 'neath their light feet fpread. 
 The buxom Hours fhe faireft led. 
 
 The crefcent on her brow difplay'd. 
 In curls of lovelieft brown inlaid, 
 With every charm to rule the night, 
 Like Dian, || Strafford woos the fight ; 
 
 * Caroline Campbell Coimtefs of Aylejbury. 
 
 t IvTtfs Lucy Fortefcue^ firjl wife of George now 
 Lord Lyttleton, 
 
 X Guido*s Aurora in the RofpigUoJi Palace at 
 Rome. 
 
 jl Lady Anne Ca?nphell Countefs of Strafford, 
 
 The 
 
[ 33 ] 
 
 The eafy fhape, the piercing eye^ 
 The fnowy bofom's purity. 
 The unafFedled gentle phrafe 
 Of native wit in all fhe fays ; 
 Eckardt, for thefe thy art's too faint : 
 You may admire, but cannot paint. 
 
 How Hebe fmil'd, what bloom divine 
 On the young Goddefs lov'd to fliine, 
 From t Carpenter we guefs, or fee 
 AU-bcauteous % Manners beam from thee. 
 
 How pretty Flora, wanton maid, 
 By Zephyr woo'd in noon-tide fhade, 
 With rofy hand coquetly throwing 
 Panfies, beneath her fweet touch blowing ; 
 How blithe (he look'd, let || Fanny tells 
 Let Zephyr own if half fo well. 
 
 Another § Goddefs of the year. 
 Fair Queen of fummer, fee, appear ; 
 
 f Mifs Carpenter^ ftnce Countefs of Egremonf, 
 
 % Mifs Manners^ fence married to Capt. Hall, 
 
 H Mifs Fanny Maccartney^ married to Mr* 
 Creville, 
 
 § Pomona. F Her 
 
r 34 ] 
 
 tier auburn locks with fruitage crown'd> 
 
 Her panting bofom loofely bound, 
 
 Etherial beauty in her face. 
 
 Rather the beauties of her race, 
 
 Whence ev'ry Goddefs, envy-fmit, 
 
 Mull own each Stonehoufe meets in |{ Pitt*. 
 
 Exhaufted all the heav'nly train, 
 How many Mortals yet remain, 
 Whofe eyes fhall try your pencil's art,, 
 And in my numbers claim a part ? 
 Our filler Mufes mull defcribe 
 § Chudleigh, or name her of the tribe ; 
 And J Juliana with the Nine 
 Shall aid the melancholy line, 
 To weep her dear f Refemblance gone. 
 Where all thefe beauties met in One* 
 Sad fate of beauty ! more I fee, 
 Afflidled, lovely family ! 
 
 § Mifs Atkins^ now Mrs. Pitt. Lady Jtilm, 
 her mother^ was a Stonehoufe. 
 
 II Mifs Chudleigh. 
 
 X Lady 'Juliana Farmor^ ftiice married to Mr. 
 Fen. 
 
 t Lady Sophia Farmor^ Countefs of Granville^ 
 
 Tw# 
 
C 35 1 
 
 Two beateous Nymphs here. Painter, place. 
 Lamenting o'er their * fifter Grace, 
 II One, matron-like, with fober grief. 
 Scarce gives her pious fighs relief; 
 While § t'other lovely Maid appears 
 In all the melting pow'r of tears ; 
 The fofteft form, the gentleft grace. 
 The fweeteft harmony of face ; 
 Her fnowy limbs, and artlefs move 
 Contending with the Queen of Love, 
 While bafhful beauty fhuns the prize. 
 Which Emily might yield to Evelyn's eyes, 
 
 * Mtfs Mary Evelyn. 
 
 II Mrs. Boone. 
 
 § Mifs Elizabeth Evelyn ^Jince married to Piter 
 BaihurJI, Efq^, 
 
 EPILOGUE 
 
1 36 j 
 
 EPILOGUE to TAMERLANE, 
 
 On the Suppreffion of the Rebellion. 
 
 Spoken by Mrs. Pritchard, in the Character of 
 the Comic Muse, Nov. /^y 1746. 
 
 BRITONS, once more in annual joy wc 
 meet 
 This genial night in Freedom's fay 'rite feat : 
 And o'er the || two great empires ftill I reigii 
 Of Coverit-Garden, and of Drury-Lane. 
 But ah ! what clouds o'er all our realms impended ! 
 Our ruin artlefs prodigies portended. 
 Chains, real chains, our Heroes had in view. 
 And fcenes of mimic dungeons chang'd to true. 
 An equal fate the Stage and Britain dreaded. 
 Had Rome's young miiTionary Spark fucceeded. 
 But Laws and Liberties are trifling treafures ; 
 He threaten'd that grave property, your Pleafurcs, 
 
 11 The tivo great empires of the luorld I know^ 
 This of PerUy and that of Mexico, 
 
 Indian Emperor, 
 
 For 
 
[ ir I 
 
 for me, an idle Mufe, I ne'er diffembled 
 My fears ; but e'en my tragic Sifter trembled : 
 O'er all her Sons fhe caft her mournful eyes, 
 And heav'd her breaft more than dramatic fighs ; 
 To eyes well-tutor'd in the trade of grief. 
 She rais'd a fmall and well-lac'd handkerchief; 
 
 And then with decent paufe and accent broke^ 
 
 Her bufkin'd progeny the Dame befpoke : 
 
 ** Ah ! Sons, || our dawn is over-caft, and all 
 
 *' Theatric glories nodding to their fall ; 
 
 *^ From foreign realms a bloody Chief is come, 
 
 <' Big with the work of Slav'ry and of Rome. 
 
 *' A general ruin on his fword he wears, 
 
 ** Fatal alike to Audience and to Play'rs. 
 
 ** For ah ! my fons, what freedom for the Stage, 
 
 *' When bigotry with itn^^ fhall battle wage ? 
 
 ** When monkifh Laureats only wear the bays, 
 
 <* § Inquifitors Lord Chamberlains of plays ? 
 
 II The dawn is over-cajl^ the morning lours^ 
 And heavily in clouds brings on the day^ 
 The great ^ tF important day^ big with the fate 
 Of Cato and of Rome, Cato. 
 
 § Gibber preftde Lord Chancellor of Plays. Pope. 
 
 *« Play* 
 
C 38 ] 
 
 « Plays fhall be damn'd that 'fcap'd the Critic's 
 
 rage, 
 «^ For Priefts are ftill worfe Tyrants to the Stage. 
 *' Cato, received by audiences fo gracious, 
 ** Shall find ten Csefars in one St. Ignatius : 
 •* And godlike Brutus here (hall meet again 
 *' His evil Genius in a Capuchin. 
 ** For herefy the fav'rites of the pit 
 *^ Muft burn, and excommunicated wit ; 
 *^ And at one ftake we fliall behold expire 
 *' My Anna Bullen, and the Spanifh Fryar. 
 
 *^ Ev'n II Tamerlane, whofe fainted name 
 
 appears 
 *' Red-letter'd in the calendar of play'rs, 
 *^ Oft as thefe feftal rites attend the morn 
 
 *' Of liberty reftor'd, and William born ;- 
 
 *' But at That Name what tranfports flood my 
 
 eyes ! 
 " What golden vifion's this I fee arife ! 
 
 II Tajnerlane is always aSfed on the /i^th and ^th 
 of November y the AnniverfarUs of King Williains 
 birth and landing. 
 
 « What 
 
[ Z9 3 
 
 <<What Youth is he with comelieft conquefl: 
 
 crown'd, 
 *^ His warlike brow with full-blown laurels bound ? 
 ^^ What wreaths are thefe that ViftVy dares to 
 
 join, 
 ** And blend with trophies of my fav'rite Boyne ? 
 <« Oh ! if the Mufe can happy aught prefage, 
 *^ Of new deliv'rance to the State and Stage ; 
 «' If not untaught the characters to fpell 
 «* Of all who bravely fight or conquer well ; 
 « II Thou fhalt be William like the Lafl 
 
 defign'd 
 <* The tyrant's fcourge, and blefling of mankind ; 
 *' Born civil tumult and blind zeal to quell, 
 *< That teaches happy fubjefts to rebel. 
 *' Naffau himfelf but half our vows fliall fharc, 
 *' 'Divide our incenfe and divide our pray'r ; 
 *' And oft as Tamerlane fhall lend his fame -j 
 *' To fliadow His, thy rival Star (hall claim f 
 •' § Th' ambiguous laurel and the doubtful I 
 
 name. ' 
 
 II Tu Mar cell us eris. ViRG, 
 
 § Conditor lUados cantabitur atque Maronis 
 Altifoni duhiain facientia carmina paimam. Ju v. 
 
 THE 
 
i: 40 ] 
 
 T HE 
 
 ENTAIL, 
 
 A 
 
 FABLE. 
 
 IN a fair Summer's radiant morn 
 A Butterfly, divinely born, 
 Whofe lineage dated from the mud 
 Of Noah's or Deucalion's flood, 
 Long hov'ring round a perfum'd lawn, 
 By various gufts of odours drawn. 
 At laft eftablifli'd his repofe 
 On the rich bofom of a Rofe. 
 
 * This piece was occafioned hy the author heirig 
 afked [after he had finijhed the little caJUe at Straw- 
 berry-hill and adorned it with the portraits and arms 
 cf his anceJlors'\ if he did not defign to entail it on 
 his Family ? 
 
 The 
 
[ 41 1 
 
 The palace pleas'd the lordly gueft : 
 What infe£l own'd a prouder neft ? 
 The dewy leaves luxurious fhed 
 Their balmy odours o'er his head. 
 And with their fdken tapeftry fold 
 His limbs enthroned on central gold. 
 He thinks the thorns embattled round 
 To guard his caftle's lovely mound. 
 And all the bufh's wide domain 
 Subfcrvieiit to his fancied reign. 
 
 Such ample bleflings fwell'd the Fly ! 
 Yet in his mind's capacious eye 
 He roll'd the change of mortal things, 
 The common fate of Flies and Kin2:s. 
 With grief he faw how lands and honours 
 Are apt to Aide to various owners ; 
 Where Mowbrays dwelt how Grocers dwell. 
 And how Cits buy what Barons fell. 
 '' Great Phcebus, patriarch of my line, 
 *' Avert fuch fliame from Sons of thine ! 
 " To them confirm thefe roofs," he faid ; 
 And then he fwore an oath fo dread. 
 The ftouteft Wafp that wears a fword. 
 Had trembled to have heard the word ! 
 
 G "If 
 
[ 42 J 
 
 '' If Law can rivet down entails, 
 
 '' Thefe manours ne'er fliall pafs to fnails. 
 
 '^ I fwear" and then he fmote his ermine — 
 
 '^ Thefe tow'rs were never built for vermine.'* 
 
 A Caterpillar grovelM near, 
 A fubtlc flow Conveyancer, 
 Who fummon'd, waddles with his quill 
 To draw the haughty Infeft's will. 
 None but his Heirs muft own the fpot. 
 Begotten, or to be begot : 
 Each leaf he binds, each bud he ties 
 To eggs of eggs of BaxTERFLiEs. 
 
 When lo ! how Fortune loves to teaze 
 Thofe who v/ould diftate her decrees ! 
 A wanton Boy was pafHng by ; 
 The wanton child beheld the Fly, 
 And eager ran to feize the prey ; 
 But too impetuous in his play, 
 Crufh'd the proud Tenant of an hour. 
 And fwept away the Mansion-P^low'r. 
 
 E PIGRAM 
 
[ 43 ] 
 
 EPIGRAM 
 On Admiral Ve r n o n 
 
 Prefiding oyer the Herring-Fishery, 
 MDCCL. 
 
 LON G in the Senate had brave Vernon rail'd. 
 And all mankind with bitter tongue affaird \ 
 Sick of his noife, we wearied heav'n with pray'jr 
 In his own element to place the Tar. 
 The Gods at length have yielded to our wifli, 
 A.nd bad Him rule o'er Billingfgate and Fifht 
 
 EPITAPH 
 
I 44 I 
 
 EPITAPH 
 
 On the Cenotaph of Lady Walpole, ereSled 
 in the Chapel of Henry VII. in West- 
 minster-Abbey, in July I754- 
 
 To the Memoiy 
 o F 
 
 Catherine Lady Walpole, 
 
 Eldeft Daughter of John Shorter Efq; 
 of Bybrook in Kent, 
 and 
 
 Firft Wife of Sir Robert Walpole, 
 afterwards Earl of Orford, 
 
 Horace, 
 
 Her youngeft Son, 
 Confecrates this Monument* 
 
 She 
 
I 45 1 
 
 She had beauty and wit 
 
 Without vice or vanity. 
 
 And cuhivated the arts 
 
 Without affe£tation. 
 
 She was devout. 
 
 Though without bigotry to any fed ; 
 
 And was without prejudice to any party^ 
 
 Though the Wife of a Miniiler, 
 
 Whofe power She eileemed. 
 
 But when She could employ it to benefit the miferable. 
 
 Or to reward the meritorious. 
 
 She loved a private hfe. 
 
 Though born to lliine in public ; 
 
 And was an ornament to Courts, 
 
 * Untainted by them. 
 
 She died August 20, i737' 
 
 '^" Mr. Vovzfaldy " She was untainted hy a Court.''* 
 
 A 
 
[ 47 1 
 
 A 
 
 SCHEME 
 
 FOR RAISING 
 
 A large Sum of Money for the Ufe of the 
 GOVERNMENT, 
 
 By laying a Tax on 
 
 Message-Cards and Notes. 
 
 Flrji printed in N^ IT. of the Mufeum, Aprils 1746. 
 To the Keeper of tht MUSEUM, 
 
 S I R, 
 
 AS you have opened a Mufeum for literary 
 Curiofities^ I think the following paper 
 may merit a place in your repofitory, which I 
 afk for it upon the genuine foot of a rarity. 
 The notion I have of a Mifeum^ is an hofpital 
 for every thing that is fmgular ; whether the 
 thing have acquired fingularity, from having 
 cfcaped the rage of Time ; from any natural 
 oddnefs in itfelf, or from being fo infignificant, 
 that nobody ever thought it worth their while to 
 
 produce 
 
r 4S ] 
 
 produce any more of the fame fort. Intrinfic 
 value has little or no property in the merit of 
 curiojkies. Mifers, though the moft inteiife of 
 all coUeSiors^ are never allowed to be virtuofoes^ 
 becaufe guineas, dollars, ducats, ^c. are too 
 common to deferve the title of rarities ; and 
 iinlefs one man could attain to the pofieiHon of 
 the vi^holc fpecie, he would never be faid to have 
 a fine collection of money. Neither * Sir Gilded 
 Heathen, nor the late f Princefs oi Mildenheim, 
 were ever efteemed virtuofoes, A Phyfician who 
 lives in a garret, and does not get a guinea in 
 a week, i^' more renowned for the poffefTion of 
 an illegible Caraufius^ than Dr. Mithridate, Vv^ho 
 unloads his poclcct every night of twenty or 
 thirty new Lima guineas. 
 
 To inflar.ce in two forts of thing-s, which \ 
 fiid had pretenfions to places In a Mufeum, If 
 the learned World could be fo happy as to dif- 
 cover a Romrm's old fhoe (provided that the Li- 
 terati were agreed it were a fhoe, and not a 
 leathern cafque, a drinking vQ&ly a ballotting 
 box, or an Emprefles head-attire) fuch flioc 
 
 * Sir Gilbert Heathcote. 
 
 f Duchefs of Marlborough, would 
 
f 49 1 
 
 would immediately have the entree into any col- 
 lection in Europe ; even though it appeared to 
 be the fhoe of the moft vulgar artizan in Rome, 
 and not to have belonged to any beau of Claflic- 
 memory. And the reafon is plain ; not that/ 
 there is any intrinfic value in an old fhoe, but- 
 becaufe an old Roman fhoe would be a Unique ; 
 a term which you, Sir, who have ere<Sled a Mu'-- 
 feurriy know perfectly well is a patent of Antiquity, 
 Natural oddity is another kind of merit which I 
 mentioned. Monilrous births, hermaphrodites, 
 petrifaftions, ^c, are all true members of a col- 
 leilion. A man perfeitly virtuous might be laid 
 up in a Mufeum^ not for any intrinfic worth,, 
 but for being a rarity ; and a dealer might honefl- 
 ly demand five hundred pounds for fuch a man 
 of Sir Hans Sloane or Dr. Meade. A third fort 
 (and I will not run into any more defcriptions) 
 are things become rare from their infignificance. 
 Of this fpecies was that noble collecSion of 
 foolifh trafts in the Harleian library, puritanical 
 fermons, party-pamphlets, voyages, ^r, which 
 being too flupid to be ever re-printed, grew valu- 
 able, as they grew fcarce. So modern a thing as 
 a Queen Anne's Farthing has rifen to the dignity 
 of ^ curiofity, merely becaufe there were but a 
 H few 
 
[ 50 1 
 
 few of them flruck. Some Induftrious artifts, 
 who would have the greateft fcruple of counter- 
 felting the current coin of the kingdom, have 
 been fo blinded by their love of virtUy as to imi- 
 tate thefe rare farthings, looking upon them 
 folely as curiofities. I juft mention this for the 
 fake of thofe laborious medallifts ; becaufe the 
 prefent honorable Attorney-General, though a 
 very learned man, is no Antiquarian^ and might 
 poilibly be of an opinion, that thofe admirable 
 copies would come under the penalties of the 
 ftatute againft clipping and coining. 
 
 But to come to my point. It is under this 
 laft denomination, Sir, that I apply to you for a 
 place in your Mufeu?n, A fcheme for raifing 
 money may (as I fear the age is too obftinate in 
 their luxury to fuffer their follies to be taxed) 
 be admitted into a colleSfion^ as v^^ell as fome of 
 thofe pieces which I mentioned to have filled the 
 Harleian fhelves ; efpecially as it will have a 
 double title to a rarity. Firft, from never having 
 been thought of by any other perfon ; and fe- 
 condly, as it will give pofterity fome light into 
 the cuftoms of the prefent age. It is this merit 
 that has preferved the works of the elder Pliny, 
 
 an 
 
r 51 ] 
 
 an author who in his own time, I fuppofe, was 
 upon a little better foot than the editors of the 
 Daily Advertifers^ the Vade-Mecurns^ and the 
 Magazines. We are glad to know now how 
 much a luxurious Roman laid out on a fupper, 
 a flave or a villa, a miftrcfs or a tame carp ; 
 how much Pompey expended on a public fhow ; 
 or to read the order of a procefHon. But though 
 this author now elbows Virgil and Horace, and 
 equally em ploys the fpeftacles of the Gronovius's 
 and the Harduins, I am perfuaded his works at 
 Rome were never advanced above being read in 
 the Steward's parlour. But hereafter I expeft, 
 that Mr. Salmon, Sylvanus Urban, and myfelf, 
 Ihall be as good claflics as Mr, Pope and Mr. 
 Prior. 
 
 One of the lateft and moft accepted fafhions 
 16 the fending Cards and Netes : A cuftom that 
 might perhaps efcaps the knowledge of pofterity, 
 if you and T, Sir, did not jointly tranfmit an 
 account of it down to them. No bufuiefs, that 
 is no bufmefs, is now carried on in this great 
 city, but by this expedient. How Congreve, 
 Farquhar, and the Comic writers of the laft age 
 would be chagrined, to find that half the wit of 
 H 2 their 
 
[ 5^ ] 
 
 their plays is already obfolete ! Foible and Archer 
 are grown dull charafters by the difufe of verbal 
 mefl'ages. But thank heaven ! the age has made 
 great progrefs in litterature, and all thofe fatal 
 miftakes and irreparable quarrels that formerly 
 happened in the polite world, by Ladies trufting 
 long meffages to the faithlefs memory of fervants, 
 are now reniedied by their giving themfelves the 
 trouble to tranfmit their commands to cards and 
 paper ; at once improving themfelves in fpelling, 
 and adjufting the whole ceremonial of engage- 
 ments, without the pofTibility of errors. Not 
 to mention the great encouragement given to 
 the Stationary trade, by the large demands for 
 crow-quills, paper, wafers, bfc, commodities 
 that are all the natural produce of this country, 
 
 I know a celebrated legiflator and reformer 
 of manners, who not being fo deeply read in 
 the fafliions as he is in the vices of the age, was 
 unhappily drawn into a miftake by his ignorance 
 of this cuftom. About two years ago, this 
 gentleman had thoughts of enforcing and leiiing 
 out the laws againft gaming ; and being very nice 
 and exad in his method of proceeding, he was 
 determined to lay before Parliament, a calcula- 
 tion 
 
r 53 1 
 
 tion of the numbers of gamefters, games, and 
 circulation of money played for in the cities of 
 London and Weftminfter, In order to this, he 
 lirft went to an eminent card maker, and en- 
 quired into the ebb and flow of his bufmefs ; 
 and with great fecret fatisfaftion was informed, 
 that the tradefman fold, upon a moderate com- 
 putation, twenty dozen packs of cards in a 
 week, more than he ufed to do a few years ago. 
 The honeft reformer was exceilively pleafed with 
 his difcovery ; for a real zealot is never fo happy 
 as when he finds vice grown to fo monftrous a 
 height, that every body will allow it neceflary to 
 be regulated. But he was terribly puzzled when 
 the card-maker told him, that at leaft two thirds 
 of the number were blank cardsy or cards with- 
 out pips. To fatisfy his furprize, he even ven- 
 tured himfelf into a celebrated gaming-ho ufe at 
 this end of the town ; to find out in what game 
 the libertines of this age had fo far refined upon 
 their anceftors, as to be able to pra6life with 
 piplefs cards. In fliort, it was not till fomc 
 time after, that he difcover'd that thefc blank 
 cards were on purpofe to write mefTages. He 
 then exclaimed againft the extravagance of our 
 
 women, 
 
C 54 ] 
 women, who would not condefcend to ufe their 
 old cards to write upon, but were at the expence 
 of clean ones ; but it was proved to him, that 9, 
 woman of moderate fafliion could not poiiibly 
 have cards enough ufed at her houfe to ferve her 
 for meflages, and that therefore it was cheaper to 
 purchafe blank cards, becaufe not being ftamped, 
 they pay no duty, and are confequently half in 
 half cheaper to the confumer. For example; 
 fuppofing a lady has but one ailembly a month, 
 to which fhe invites four hundred perfons ; many 
 difappointing her, fix perfons belonging to each 
 table, two or three fets playing with the fame 
 cards, and feveral not playing at all, we may 
 reckon that (he never has above ten tables, to 
 which allowing two packs, (he, at that rate, 
 can ufe but twenty packs a month j now I fhall 
 eafily make it appear, that that number cannot 
 fupply her with decent materials for meflages* 
 For inflance, 
 
 20 packs at 52 cards /)^r pack - — 1040. 
 
 Nov/ flie mufl: fend cards to invite all thefc 
 people, which will employ four hundred of the 
 thoufand and odd 3 and allowing her to fend but 
 
 . twentv 
 
[ 55 ] 
 
 twenty private meffages every morning, in 
 hov^'^dYe's, appointments, difappointments, ^c, 
 and to make but ten vifits every night before 
 fhe fettles for the evenings at each of which fhe 
 mufl: leave her name on a card, the account will 
 ftand thus : 
 
 Meflages to 400 people - - . 400 
 20 Meflages a day, will be per month - 560 
 10 Vifits a night, will be per month - 280 
 
 Total 1 240 
 
 Which, without including extraordinary occa- 
 fions, as a quarrel, with all its train of confe- 
 quences, explanations, ceflation of hoftilities, 
 renewal of civilities, ^c, makes her debtor to 
 two hundred cards more than fhe is creditor for. 
 I know it may be objected, that a good oecono- 
 mift will cut one card into three names ; but if 
 fhe lives in a good part of the town, and chufes 
 to infert the place of her abode under her name, 
 that will be impofTible. Before I quit this article 
 of leaving one's name, I mufl mention a ftory 
 of a Frenchman, from whofe nation we are 
 faid to borrow this cuflom, who being very 
 
 devout 
 
[ 56 ] 
 
 devout and very well-bred, went to hear mafs at 
 the church of a particular faint in Paris ; but 
 fome reparations being making to the church, 
 which prevented the celebration of divine fervice, 
 the Gentleman, to ftiew he had not been want- 
 ing in his duty, left his name on a card for the 
 Saint on his altar, 
 
 I fliall now proceed to acquaint you with my 
 fcheme, which is, to lay a tax on cards and 72otes ; 
 die latter of which are only a more volumnious 
 kind of cards<^ and more facred ; becaufe a foot- 
 man is allowed to read the former, but is de- 
 pended upon for never opening the latter. In- 
 deed, if the party-coloured gentry's honour 
 were not to be trufted, what fatal accidents 
 might arife to families ! for there is not a young 
 lady in London under five and twenty, who does 
 not tranfaft all her moft important concerns in 
 this way. She does not fall in love, {he does 
 not change her lover or her fan, her party or. 
 her ftaymaker, but fhe notifies it to twenty 
 particular friends by a note ; nay, fhe even in- 
 quires or trufts by note where the only good 
 lavender-water in town is to be fold. I cannot 
 
 help 
 
[ 51 ] 
 
 help mentioning to the honour of thefe fair 
 virgins, that after the fatal day of Fontenoy, 
 they all wrote their notes on Indian paper, which 
 being red, when infcribed with Japan ink, made 
 a melancholly military kind of elegy on the brave 
 youths who occafioned the fafhion, and were 
 often the honorable fubjedl of the epiftle. 
 
 I think the loweft computations make the in- 
 habitants of this great metropolis to be eight 
 hundred thoufand. I will be fo very moderate as 
 to fuppofe that not above twenty thoufand of 
 thefe are obliged to fend car ds^ becaufe I really 
 have not yet heard that this fafhion has fpread 
 much among the lower fort of people ; at leaft 
 I know, that my own Fiflimonger's wife was 
 extremely furprized laft week at receiving an in- 
 vitation to an aflembly at Billingfgate, written 
 on a very dirty queen of clubs. Therefore as it 
 is the indifpenfable duty of a legiflature to im- 
 pofe taxes where they will fall the lighteft, no 
 body will difpute the gentlenefs of this duty, 
 which I would not have exceed one penny per 
 card. I fliall recur to my former computation 
 of a lady's fending 1240 cards per moiix}^^ or 
 I 16120 
 
C 58 J 
 
 l() 120 per annum^ which multiplied by 20,000, 
 and reduced to pounds Jler ling, fixes the produce 
 of the duty at ;^. 1343333 6 j. S d, a year for 
 the cities of London and Weftminfter only. 
 But fhould this appear too enormous a fum to be 
 thrown into the fcale of minifterial influence, I 
 beg it may be confidered that for near four 
 months in the year this tax will produce little 
 or nothing, by the difperfion of the nobility 
 and gentry, and the difufe of vifits and affemblies ; 
 and I cannot think that what may be raifed by 
 this tax in all the reft of the kingdom, will re- 
 place the deficiency of one third which may fail 
 in the capital. 
 
 I have not reckoned notes, becaufe it v/ill be 
 time enough to confider them when the bill is 
 brought in, as well as to what province of the 
 great officers of the crown this duty fliall belong. 
 Whether the fum of a penny may bring it under 
 the infpe6lion of the tribunal in Lombard-ftreet, 
 or v/hether the bufinefs negotiated may not fub- 
 jedl it to the Lord Chamberlain's office : For as 
 to the Groom-Porter, the claim which I forefee 
 he will put in under the notion of tranfaftions 
 
 with 
 
[ 59 ] 
 
 with cards, I think it will be of no weight. 
 A friend of mine, to whom I communicated 
 my fcheme, was of opinion, that where -ever 
 the duty was collected, the office would be a 
 court of record, becaufe as I propofe that all 
 engagements fliould be regiftered, it would be 
 an eafy matter to compile a diary of a Lady of 
 Quality's whole life. One caveat I muft put 
 in, which is, that the tax being to be laid chiefly 
 on people of fafhion, it may not be allowed to 
 Members of either Houfe to frank their wives 
 cards^ which would almoft entirely annihilate 
 this fupply for the fervice of the government, 
 
 I propofe too, that printed cards (a late im- 
 provement) fliould be liable to the flamp duties, 
 for though this practice has not hitherto made 
 great progrefs, yet fuch induftry is ufed to evade 
 A<Ss of Parliament, that I am perfuaded we 
 fliould no longer hear of written cards, though 
 the greater part of the card muft neceffarily be 
 left blank to infert the name and quality of the 
 perfon invited, the day appointed, and the bufi- 
 nefs to be performed, 
 
 I 2 The 
 
[ 6o ] 
 
 The moft of a mejjage card that ever I have 
 feen printed, was as follows : 
 
 « Lady M. M. <7rN. NV. rto and 
 
 '^ -Jhe of' company on 
 
 I fhall add two other cards with thefe blanks 
 
 filled up, to fliew that the reft of the meflage 
 
 cannot be certain enough to be left to the 
 printer. 
 
 " Lady M. M. or N. NV humble fervlce to her 
 *' Grace the Duchefs of T. and begs the 
 " honour of her company on Monday five 
 *' weeks to drink TeaJ^ 
 
 " Lady M. M. or N. NV. company to Mrs. B. 
 *' and d fires the favour of Z^^r company 
 ** to-morrow to />/<:7y ^^ TVhiJk,''^ 
 
 I have a fecret fatisfaflion in thinking how 
 popular I {hall be with the Gentlemen of the 
 upper Gallery, who, by this eftablifhment of 
 
 ports 
 
[ 6i ] 
 
 polls for cards and notes^ will get all their morn- 
 ings to themfelves, and have time to drefs them- 
 felves for the play, or even to read the play on 
 which they are to pafs their judgment in the 
 evening. Indeed this toil of theirs has already 
 been fomewhat abridged by the indefatigable 
 care and generofity of that learned and exadl 
 lady, the Lady Northridingy who introduced the 
 ufe of vifiting maps : Every lady has now a 
 particular map of her own vifits, accurately en- 
 graved for a trifling expence, and can fend her 
 cards, or bid her coachman drive methodically 
 to all her acquaintance, who, by this invention, 
 are diftributed into fquares, pariflies, hundreds, 
 
 I do not know how far It may be neceflary to 
 licence the cards of foreign Minifters ; but as 
 thofe illuftrious perfonages pretty fteadily adhere 
 to the dignity of their character, and do not 
 frequently let themfelves down to divert the 
 natives of the country, if my poor afliftance 
 ihould be required by the legiflature in drawing 
 up the bill, I Ihould not be againft granting this 
 immunity to the reprefentatives of fo many great 
 
 Monarchs 
 
[ 62 ] 
 
 Monarchs and Princes. But I am entirely 
 againft any other exceptions, unlefs of fome fair 
 and noble Ladies,who I hear intend to give balls on 
 the approaching birth-day of the * Royal Touth^ 
 who has fo glorioufly delivered his country and 
 beauteous country women from their apprehen- 
 fions of a race of barbarous mountaineers ; and 
 who is now extirpating rebellion in the very 
 heart of thofe inhofpitable mountains, 
 
 I amy Sir J 
 
 Your humble Servant^ 
 
 DESCARTES. 
 
 * The Duke of Cumberland. 
 
 ADVER- 
 
ADVERTISEMENT*. 
 
 This Day is publijhed, in Ten Volumes in Folia, 
 
 THE 
 
 Hiftory of Good-Breeding, 
 
 FROM THE 
 
 CREATION OF THE WORLD, 
 
 TO THE 
 
 PRESENT TIMES: 
 As fet forth in 
 
 FORMS and CEREMONIES. 
 
 And appointed to be ufed in 
 Churches, Visits, Coronations, £5f^# 
 CoUedled from the beft Authors ; 
 As Baker*s Chronicle^ the Compleat Dancing-Mafiery the 
 La^ of Nations^ the Margrwv^s Monitory the Con- 
 Jiable^s Guide, PicartV Religious Ceremoniesy ^c. 
 The Whole adapted to the meaneft Capacities, 
 Whether Peeresses, Lord Chamberlains, Embassadors, 
 Bishops, Justices of the Peace, Gentlemen Usheri, 
 Barbers, or Chamber-Maids. 
 
 In this Great Print, 
 
 Pray let us. 
 
 By the Author of the fVhoIe Duty of Man, 
 
 N, B, The Eight laft Volumes which relate to Germany, may 
 be had feparate. 
 
 At her Feet he bowed. Judges, C. 5. V. 27. 
 
 DUBLIN Printed ; LONDON Re-printed ; 
 For Clement Quoteherald, at the Sign of Cham-' 
 fion Dimmock, in A've-Maria-Lane. 
 
 * Publijhed in No» V. of the Museum, May 1746, 
 
[ 65 ] 
 
 Table of the Contents. 
 
 BOOK I. 
 
 CHAP. I. 
 
 Abufe. 
 
 A\ F Good Breeding in general. Its life and 
 
 CHAR IL .r. 
 
 Of Ceremonies: Why fome are abolijhed^ and fome 
 retained* 
 
 CHAP. III. 
 Of their Origin and Antiquity, 
 
 CHAP. IV. 
 
 Of Brutality : TVhy fometimes taken for Wit* 
 Some Endeavours to prove^ that Bluntnefs and 
 Beajllinefs are no Marks of Courage, 
 
 CHAP. V. 
 
 A Critical Enquiry^ whether the Black Prince dif-^ 
 couraged all Good Breedings except when in 
 aSiual War with France. 
 
 K CHAP. 
 
[ 66 3 
 
 CHAP. VI. 
 
 Origin of Curfftes : Eve'x to her Shadow in a 
 " Fountain, 
 
 CHAP. VII. 
 
 Injlitution of Duchejfes-^ the Serpent calling Eve^ 
 Your Grace. 
 
 CHAP. VIII. 
 
 A Digrejfton on illegitimate Princes -^ and why they 
 contract all the Dignity of the Father^ and nont 
 of the Bafenefs of the Mother. 
 
 CHAP. IX. 
 
 Enquiry whether Adam called Eve, Madam, or 
 My Dear, before Company : The latter Opinion 
 condemned by the Council of NicCt 
 
 CHAR X. 
 Which went firjl out of the Door of Paradife$ 
 Adam, ^rEve. 
 
 BOOK XL 
 
 CHAP. I. 
 
 A Defcription of Noah'j living en Famille in thf 
 ArL Some Reflexions on his Wifcy for not 
 
 wafhlng 
 
{ ^7 ] 
 
 wajhing her Face and Hands^ though they had 
 fuch plenty of Water* A fever e Cenfure on mar-*^ 
 ried Folks y who break Wind before one another, 
 
 CHAP. 11. 
 
 Origin of Vijits. The ^een of Sheba*^ to Solo- 
 mon, ^arej If ever he returned it, 
 
 CHAP. III. 
 
 The Invention of Bows afcribed to Semiramis, by 
 Herodotus. 
 
 CHAP. IV. 
 
 On Duels. The Praflice defended : Highly com-' 
 mendable to take away a Maris Life for treading 
 on your Toe^ even by Accident. Challenges may 
 he refufed by Crowned Heads \ or from any Infe- 
 rior. More honorable to be beat by one that is n9 
 Gentleman^ than to fight him. 
 
 CHAP. V. 
 
 Rules when to take or give the Wall ; and when t9 
 give or take a Box on the Ear. 
 
 CHAP. Yh 
 
 Co?npUments no Lies. Whether it is lawful to he 
 denied '^ St, Auftin thinks not. Porters excom- 
 municated by Pope Pius. 
 
 CHAP. 
 
[ 68 ] 
 
 CHAP. VII. 
 
 On the Folly of being well-bred to Perfons in Want 
 or JffU^ion, 
 
 CHAP. VIII. 
 
 Nothing fo ill-bred^ as to perjijl in any thing that 
 is out of Fajhion, Tajie and Fajhion fynony- 
 mous Terms. 
 
 CHAP. IX. 
 
 Good Breeding different in different Ages : For in- 
 Jlance^ Formality and PtinSiilio the Height of 
 Good Breeding in ^een Anne's Reign ; a Dif- 
 folution of all Civility^ in King GeorgeV. 
 
 BOOK III. 
 
 CHAP. I. 
 
 The Nature and End of Dancing. The Duty of 
 it proved from the Example of King David, and 
 others. What Perfons are qualified to give Balls. 
 
 CHAP. II, III, IV, V, and VI. 
 
 Rules to be obferved at Balls ^ and in general^ at 
 all public Meetings^ 
 
 CHAP. 
 
[ % ] 
 
 CHAP. VII. 
 
 Dijfertation on School-Mijirejfes. By whom fir Jl 
 incorporated. 
 
 CHAP. VIII. 
 
 Whether Superiors^ or Inferiors^ are to how and 
 curffcy firjl. Whether a Knight's Wife may 
 take any thing ill of a Duchefs y and how imper- 
 tinent any Peerefs may be. At what Age a hand- 
 fo7ne Woman Ihould grow civil % and at what 
 Age they have been known to grow fo. 
 
 CHAP. IX. 
 
 On what Occafiom it may be civil to be rude to Wo^ 
 men : When welUhred to talk Bawdy : Whether 
 BiJJjops Jhould at Chrijienings, With many other 
 curious Particulars^ on Marriages^ Maiden- 
 heads^ Widows^ HoopSy Fans^ WigSy Snuff- 
 boxes^ Entertainments^ &lc. As alfo Dire^ions 
 for forgetting one's Friends^ &ic. 5cC. To 
 which is annexed^ a curious Sermon of B iff) op 
 Latimer againji felling Bargains, 
 
 THE 
 
[70] 
 
 The W O R L D*. 
 
 By Adam Fitz-Adam. 
 
 Numb. VI. ^hurfday^ February 8, iJSS" 
 
 To Mr. Fitz-Adam. 
 
 H Totum mundum agit hijlrio, 
 
 SIR, 
 
 AS you have chofen the whole World for 
 your province, one may reafonably fup- 
 pofe, that you will not neglect that epitome of 
 it, the Theatre. Moft of your predeceffors 
 have beftowed their favorite pains upon it : The 
 Jearned and the critics (generally two very dif- 
 
 * A periodical Paper^ undertaken hy Mr. E. 
 Moore., author of fever al plays and poems. The 
 World has been re-printed infix volumes^ i imo, 
 
 II The Play-houfe Motto reverfcd : " Totus Mun^ 
 '' dus agit Hijlriojwn^^^ 
 
 tina 
 
[ 71 ] 
 
 tin£l denominations of men) have employed 
 many hours and much paper in comparing the 
 ancient and modern ftage. I fliall not undertake 
 to decide a qucftion which feems to me (o im- 
 poflible to determined, as which have moft merit, 
 plays written in a dead language, and which we 
 can only read ; or fuch as we every day fee a<3:cd 
 inimitably, in a tongue familiar to us, and a- 
 dapted to our common ideas and cuftoms. The 
 only preference that I (hall pretend to give to the 
 modern ftage over Greece and Rome, relates to 
 the fubjedl of the prefent letter : I mean the daily 
 progrefs we make towards nature. This will 
 ftartle any bigot to Euripides, who perhaps will 
 immediately demand, whether * Juliet's nurfe 
 be a more natural goflip than Eledlra's or Me- 
 dea's. But I did not hint at the rcprefentation 
 of either perfons or characters. The improve- 
 ment of nature, which I had in view, alluded 
 to thofe excellent exhibitions of the animal or 
 inanimate parts of the creation, which are fur- 
 niftied by the worthy philofophers Rich and 
 Garrick ; the latter of whom has refined on 
 his competitor 3 and having perceived that art 
 
 * In Shakefpears Romeo and 'Juliet • 
 
 was 
 
t 72 ] 
 
 was become Co perfect that It was neceflary to 
 mimic it by nature, he has happily introduced % 
 a cafcade of real water, 
 
 I know there are perfons of a fyftematlc turn, 
 who affirm that the audience are not delighted 
 wuth this beautiful water-fall, from the reality 
 of the element, but merely becaufe they are 
 pleafed with the novelty of any thing that is 
 out of its proper place. Thus they tell you, 
 that the town is charmed with a genuine caf- 
 cade upon the ftage, and were in raptures laft 
 vear with one of Tin at Vauxhall. But this 
 is certainly prejudice: The world, Mr. Fitz- 
 Adam, though never fated with fhow, is fick 
 of fi(Stion. I forefee the time approaching, 
 when delufion will not be fuffered in any part 
 of the drama : The inimitable Serpent in Or- 
 pheus and Eurydice, and the amorous Oftrich 
 in the Sorcerer, fhall be replaced by real mon- 
 fters from Afric. It is well known that the 
 pantomime of the Genii narrowly efcaped being 
 damned on my Lady Maxim's obferving very 
 
 X In the Panio??u}ne of the Genii, 
 
 judicioufly. 
 
[ n J 
 
 judicioufly. That the hrlck-kiln zuas horridly exi^ 
 cutcd^ and did not fmell at all like one* 
 
 When this entire caftigation of improprieties 
 is brought about^ the age will do juftice to one 
 of the firft reformers of the ftage, Mr. Clbber, 
 who eflayed to introduce a tafte for real nature 
 in his Caefar in Egypt, and treated the audience 
 
 with real not fwans indeed, for that would 
 
 have been too bold an attempt in the dawn of 
 truth, but very perfonable i^^^{^, T he inven- 
 tor, like other original genius's, was treated ill 
 by a barbarous age : Yet I can venture to affirm, 
 that a ftrifter adherence to reality w^ould have 
 faved even thofe times from being fhocked by 
 abfurdities, always incidental to fidlion. I my- 
 felf remember, how, much about that aera, the 
 great Senefmo, reprefenting Alexander at the 
 fiege of Oxydracae, fo far forgot himfelf in the 
 heat of conqueft, as to ftick his fword into one 
 of the pafteboard ftones of the wall of the town, 
 and bore it in triumph before him as he entered 
 the breach ; a puerility fo renowned a Gener-al 
 could never have committed, if the ramparts 
 had been built, as in this enlightened age they 
 would be, of adlual brick and ftone. 
 
 L Will 
 
E 74 ] 
 
 Will you forgive an elderly man, Mr. Fltz- 
 Adam, if he cannot help recolleding another 
 paiTage that happened in his youth, and to the 
 fame excellent performer ? He was ftepping into 
 Armida's enchanted bark ; but treading fliort, 
 as he was more attentive to the accompany- 
 ment of the orcheftra than to the breadth of the 
 fhore, he fell proftrate, and lay for fome time in 
 great pain, with the edge of a wave running in- 
 to his fide. In the prefent ftate of things, the 
 worft that could have happened to him, would 
 have been drowning ; a fate far more becoming 
 Rinaldo, efpecially in the fight of a Britifh 
 audience ! 
 
 If you will allow me to wander a little from 
 the ftage, 1 (hall obferve that this purfuit of 
 nature is not confined to the theatre, but ope- 
 rates where one fhould leaft expefl: to meet it, 
 in our fafliions. The fair part of the creation 
 are fhedding all covering of the head, difplay 
 their unveiled charming trefles, and if I may 
 fay fo, are daily moulting the reft of their cloaths* 
 What lovely fall of (houlders, what ivory necks, 
 
 what 
 
[ 75 3 
 
 what fnowy breafts in all the pride of nature, 
 are continually divefted of art and ornament ! 
 
 In gardening, the fame love of nature pre- 
 vails. Clipt hedges, avenues, regular platforms, 
 ftrait canals have been for fome time very pro- 
 perly exploded. There is not a citizen v^^ho 
 does not take more pains to torture his acre 
 and half into irregularities, than he formerly 
 would have employed to make it as formal as 
 his cravat. Kent*, the friend of nature, was 
 the Calvin of this reformation, but like the 
 other champion of truth, after having routed 
 tinfel and trumpery, with the true zeal of a 
 founder of a fe<Sl he puflied his difcipllne to 
 the deformity of holinefs : Not content with 
 banifliing fymmetry and regularity, he imitated 
 nature ev^n in her blemifhes, and planted f ^ead 
 trees and mole-hills, in oppofition to parterrcj> 
 and quincunxes. 
 
 The laft branch of our falhions into which 
 the clofe obfervation of nature has been intro- 
 
 * JVhere Kent mid Nature vie for Pelhanis Love, 
 
 Pope. 
 t In Kenfmgton Garden^ and Carlton Garden. 
 
 L 2 duceJ, 
 
[ 76 ] 
 
 duced, is our deflerts. A fubjcft I have not 
 room now to treat at large, but which yet de- 
 mands a few words, and not improperly in 
 this paper, as I fee them a little in the light 
 of a pantomime. Jellies, bifcuits, fugar-plumbs 
 and creams have long given way to harlequins, 
 gondoliers, Turks, Chinefe, and fliepherdefles 
 pf Saxon china. But thefe, unconne£led, and 
 only feeming to wander among groves of curled 
 paper and fdk flowers, were foon difcovered to 
 be too infipid and unmeaning. By degrees 
 whole meadows of cattle, of the fame brittle 
 materials, fprcad themfelves over the whole 
 table ; cottages rofe in fugar, and temples in 
 barley-fugar j pigmy Neptun^s in cars of cockle- 
 fhells triurnphed over oceans of looking-glafs, 
 or * feas of filver tifTue ; and at length the whole 
 fyftem of Ovid's metamorphofis fucceeded to all 
 the transformations which J Chloe and other 
 
 * The French Emhaffador^ the Duke de Mire- 
 potx^ gave a Defprt in ivhich was the Jiory of Per- 
 feus and Andromeda ; the fea was fiver tiffue cover- 
 ed with barley-fugar, 
 
 X A famous French Cook^ who lived with the 
 Duke of Newcajlle, 
 
 great 
 
[ 11 ] 
 
 great profcflbrs had introduced into the fclence 
 of hierogylyphic eating. Confectioners found 
 their trade moulder away, while toymen and 
 china {hops were the only fafhionable purveyors 
 of the laft ftagc of polite entertainments. Wo- 
 men of the firfl quality came home from Chc- 
 yenix's laden with dolls and babies, not for their 
 
 children, but their houfe-keeper. At laft 
 
 even thefe puerile puppet-fhows are finking into 
 difufe, and more manly ways of concluding 
 our repafts are eftablifhed. Gigantic figures fuc- 
 cced to pigmies ; and if the prefent tafte con- 
 tinues, Ryfbrack and other neglected ftatuaries, 
 who might have adorned Grecian falons, though 
 not Grecian dcfierts, may come into vogue. It 
 is known that a celebrated * confectioner (fo 
 the architeds of our deflerts ftill humbly call 
 themfelves) complained, that after having pre- 
 pared a middle difli of gods and goddcfles eighteen 
 feet hi2:h, his lord would not caufe the cielino- of 
 his parlour to be demoJifhed to facilitate their 
 entree : '' Imagtnez vous, faid he, que mi lord 
 *' tC a pas voulu faire oter le plafond,, ^^ 
 
 I fhall mention but two inftanccs of glorious 
 
 magnificence and tafte in defTerts, in which 
 
 * Lord Albemarle's. foreigners 
 
[ 78 ] 
 
 foreigners have furpafled any thing yet perform- 
 ed in this fumptuous ifland. The former was a 
 duke of Wirtemberg, who k long ago as the 
 year thirty-four, gave a deflert in which was a 
 reprefentation of mount JEtna, which vomited 
 out real fireworks over the heads of the com- 
 pany during the whole entertainment. The 
 other was the Intendant of Gafcony, who on 
 the late birth of the Duke of Burgundy, among 
 other magnificent feftivities, treated the noblefle 
 of the province with a dinner and a deflTert, the 
 latter of which concluded with a reprefentation 
 by wax-figures moving by clock-work, of the 
 whole labour of the Dauphinefs and the happy 
 bhth of an Heir to the monarchy. 
 
 / amy Sir, 
 
 Tour humble Jlrvanfy 
 
 JULIO. 
 
 The 
 
[ 79 ] 
 
 The W O R L D. 
 
 By Adam Fitz-Adam. 
 
 Numb. VIII. ^hurfday^ February 22, 1753. 
 
 Date obolum BeUfario, 
 
 A Philosopher, as I am, who contem- 4 
 
 plates the world with fcrious refle<ftion, *-<*m^- 
 will be ftruck with nothing in it more than its I 
 
 viciiHtudes. If he has lived any time, he muft 
 have had ample opportunities of exercifmg his 
 meditation on the vanity of all fubl unary con- 
 ditions. The change of empires, the fall of 
 minifters, the exaltation of obfcure perfons, 
 are the continual incidents of human comedy, 
 I remember that one of the firft paflages in 
 hiftory which made an impreflion upon me in 
 my youth, was the fate of Dionyfius, who 
 from being monarch of Sicily, Xvas reduced to 
 
 teach 
 
[ 80 ] 
 
 teach fchool at Corinth. Though his tyranny 
 was the caufe of his ruin (if it can be called 
 ruin to be deprived of the power of oppreiTion, 
 and to be taught to know one's felf ) I could 
 not help feeling that fort of fuperftitious pity 
 which attends royalty in diftrefs. Who ever 
 perufed the ftorics of Edward the Second, 
 Richard the Second, or Charles the Firft, but 
 forgot their excefles, and fighed for their cataf- 
 trophe? In this free-fpirited ifland there are 
 not more hands ready to punifh tyrants, than 
 eyes to weep their fall. It is a common cafe : 
 We are Romans in refifting oppreilion, verv 
 women in lamenting oppreflbrs ! 
 
 If (and I think it cannot be contefted) there 
 is generofity in thefe fenfations, ought we not 
 doubly to feel fuch emotions, in cafes where 
 regal virtue is become the fport of fortune ? 
 This ifland ought to be as much the harbour 
 of aiHidled majefty, as it has been the fcourge 
 of offending majefty. And while every throne 
 of arbitrary power is an afylum for the martyrs 
 of fo bad a caufe, Britain ought to fhelter fuch 
 princes as have been viftims for liberty when- 
 ever 
 
[ 81 ] 
 
 ever fo great a curiofity is feeii, as a prince con- 
 tending on the honeft fide. 
 
 How muft I blufli then for my countrymen, 
 when I mention a monarch ! an unhappy mo- 
 narch ! now actually fufFered to languifli for 
 debt in one of the common prifons of this city ! 
 A monarch, whofe courage raifed him to a 
 throne, not by a fucceflion of ambitious bloody 
 afts, but by the voluntary eledlion of an in- 
 jured people, who had the common right of 
 mankind to freedom, and the uncommon re- 
 folution of determining to be free ! This prince 
 is Theodore King of Corfica ! A man, whofe 
 claim to royalty is as indifputable, as the moft 
 ancient titles to any monarchy can pretend to 
 be ; that is, the choice of his fubjefts : The 
 only kind of title, allowed in the excellent 
 gothic conftitutions, from whence we derive our 
 own ; the fame kind of title, which endears 
 the prefent Royal Family to Englifhmen ; and 
 the only kind of title,^againft which, perhaps, 
 no objeftion can lie. 
 
 M This 
 

 [ U ] 
 
 This prince (on whofe hiftory I fhall not at 
 prefent enlarge) after having bravely expofcd 
 his life and crown in defence of the rights of 
 his fubjefts, mifcarried, as Cato and other 
 patriot heroes did before him. For many years 
 he ftruggled w^ith fortune, and left no means 
 untried, which indefatigable policy, or folici- 
 tation of fuccours could attempt to recover 
 his crown. At laft, when he had difcharged 
 his duty to his fubje<3s and himfelf, he chofe 
 this country for his retirement, not to indulge 
 a voluptuous inglorious eafe, but to enjoy the 
 participation of thofe bleffings, which he had 
 fo vainly endeavoured to fix to his Corficans. 
 Here for fome months he bore with more phi- 
 lofophic dignity the lofs of his crown, than 
 Charles the Fifth, Cafimir of Poland, or any 
 of thofe vifionaries, who wantonly refigned 
 theirs, to partake the fluggifti indolence, and 
 at length the difquiets of a cloyfter. Theo- 
 dore, though refigned to his fortunes, had 
 none of that contemptible apathy, which almoft 
 lifted our James the Second to the fupreme 
 honour of monkifh fainthood. It is recorded 
 of that prince, that talking to his courtiers 
 
 at 
 
[ 83 ] 
 
 at St. Germain, he wiflied for a fpeedy pegce 
 between France and Great Britain, " for then," 
 faid he, " we fliall get Englifh horfes eafily.'* 
 
 The veracity of a hiftorian obliges me not 
 to difguife the bad fituation of his Corficaii 
 majefty's revenue, which has reduced him to 
 be a prifoner for debt in the King's Bench : 
 And fo cruelly has fortune exercifed her rigours 
 upon him, that lafl: feffion of parliament he 
 was examined before a committee of the houfe 
 of commons, on the hardfhips to which the 
 prifoners in that goal had been fubjedl. Yet 
 let not ill-nature make fport with thefe misfor- 
 tunes ! His majefty had nothing to blufli at, 
 nothing to palliate, in the recapitulation of his 
 diftrefles. The debts on his civil lift were owe- 
 ing to no mifapplication, no improvidence of 
 his own, no corruption of his minifters, no 
 indulgence to favorites or miftrefles. His diet 
 was philofophic, his palace humble, his robes 
 decent : Yet his butcher, his landlady, and 
 his taylor, could not continue to fupply an 
 eftablifhment, which had no demefnes to fup- 
 port it, no taxes to maintain it, no excKcSy 
 M 2 no 
 
[ 84 T 
 
 no lotteries to provide funds for its deficiencies 
 and emergencies. 
 
 A Nation fo generous, fo renowned for the 
 efforts it has always made in the common 
 caufe of liberty, can only want to be reminded 
 of this diftreffed king, to grant him it's pro- 
 tetftion and compaflion. If political reafons 
 forbid the open efpoufal of his caufe, pity 
 commands the afliftance which private fortunes 
 can lend him, I do not mean at prefent that 
 our gallant youth fliould offer themfelves as 
 volunteers in his fervice, nor do I expect: to 
 have a fmall fleet fitted out at the expence of 
 particular perfons to convey him and his hopes 
 to Corfica. The intention of this paper is 
 merely to warm the benevolence of my coun- 
 trymen in behalf of this royal captive. I can- 
 not think it would be beneath the dignity of 
 majefty to accept fuch a fupply as might be 
 offered to him by that honorary (and to this 
 country peculiar) method of raifing a free gift, 
 a benefit play. The method is worthy of the 
 Grecian age, nor would Afiatic monarchs have 
 bluflied to receive a tribute from the united 
 efforts of genius and art. Let it be faid, that 
 ir ' the 
 
t 85 1 
 
 the fame humane and polite age raifed a monu- 
 ment to Shakefpear, a fortune for Milton's * 
 grand-daughter, and a fubfidy for a captive 
 king, by dramatic performances ! I have no 
 doubt but the munificent managers of our 
 theatres will gladly contribute their parts. 
 The incomparable adtor who fo exquifitely 
 touches the palTions and diftreffes of felf-de- 
 throned Lear, (a play which from fome fimili- 
 tude of circumftances I fliould recommend for 
 the benefit) will I dare to fay, willingly exert 
 his irrefiftible talents in behalf of fallen majefty, 
 and be a competitor with Louis le grand for the 
 fame which refults from the protedion of exiled 
 kings. How glorious will it be for him to 
 have the King's Bench as renowned for Gar- 
 rick's generofity to king Theodore, as the 
 Savoy is for Edward the Third's treatment 
 of king John of France. 
 
 In the mean time, not to confine this oppor- 
 tunity of benevolence to fo narrow a fphere as 
 
 * Comus wasa5ledat Drury-lane^ April ^^ I75<^> 
 for the benefit of Mrs. Fojier^ Milt oris only furviv- 
 ing defcendent. 
 
 the 
 
[ 86 ] 
 
 the theatre, I muft acquaint my readers, that 
 a fubfcription for a fubfidy for the ufe of his 
 Corfican majefty is opened at Tally's head in 
 Pall -Mall, where all the Generous and the 
 Fair are defired to pay their contributions to. 
 Robert Dodfley, who is appointed high-trea- 
 furer and grand -librarian of the ifland of Cor- 
 
 fica for life pofts, which, give me leave 
 
 to fay, Mr. Dodfley would have difdained to 
 accept under any monarch of arbitrary prin- 
 ciples : 
 
 A hookfeller of Rorm^ while Ronie furvlv^ d^ 
 Would not have been lord-treafrer to a king. 
 
 I am under fome apprehenfions that the in- 
 tended fubfcription will not be fo univerfal as 
 for the honour of my country I wifli it. I fore- 
 fee that the partizans of indefeafible hereditary 
 ri2:ht will withhold their contributions. Tht 
 number of them is indeed fmall and inconfider- 
 able ; yet as it becomes my chara6ler, as a citizen 
 of the world, to neglect nothing for the amend- 
 ment of the principles and morals of my fellow- 
 creatures, I fliall recommend one fliort 'argu- 
 ment to their confideration j I think I may fay, 
 
 to 
 
[ 87 ] 
 
 to their conviction. Let them but confider, 
 that though Theodore had fuch a Flaw (in 
 their eftimatlon) in his title, as to have been 
 ele6led by the whole body of the people, who 
 had thrown oft t&e. yoke of their old tyrants ; 
 yet as the GentJefe had been the fovereigns of 
 Corfica, thefe gentlemen of monarchic prin- 
 ciples will be obliged, if they condemn king 
 Theodore's cjjuW/ to allow divine hereditary 
 right in a republic j a problem in politics which 
 I leave to be fo^ed by the difciples of the ex- 
 ploded * Sir R^ert Filmer. At the fame time 
 declaring by my cenforial authority all perfons 
 Jacobites, who;negle(Sl to bring in their free 
 gift for the u^ of his majefty of Corfica : And 
 I particularfy charge and command all lovers 
 of the glorious and immortal memory of king 
 William to fee my orders duly executed; 
 and I recommend to them to fet an example 
 of liberality in behalf of the popular monarch, 
 whofe caufe I have efpoufed, and whofe deliver- 
 ance, I hope, I have not attempted in vain. 
 
 * Author of the Patriarchal fcheme^ refuted by 
 Mr, Locke. 
 
 N. B. Two 
 
[ 88 ] 
 
 N. B, Two pieces of king Theodore's 
 coin*, ftruck during his reign, are in the 
 hands of the high-treafurer aforefaid, and will 
 be fhewn by the proper officer of the exche- 
 quer of Corfica, during the time the fubfcrip- 
 tion continues open at Tully's head abovemen- 
 tioned. They are very great curiofities, and 
 not to be met with in the moll celebrated col- 
 leftions of this kingdom. 
 
 * Thefe Coins are rudely executed on copper. 
 The legend round the reverfe feems to have heen^ 
 Re per il Bono Publico. The other piece 
 is the half of this. 
 
t 89 J 
 
 u^^ ^ Supplement to the foregoing Taper ^ 
 the following particulars will not ht 
 improper. 
 
 THEODORE Antony Baron Newhoff, 
 more remarkable for being the only one 
 of his profeflion [of Adventurers] who evef 
 obtained a Crown, than for acquiring that of 
 Corfica, was born at Metz about the year 1696, 
 and after a variety of intrigues, fcrapes, and 
 efcapes in many parts of Europe, and after 
 having attained and loft a Throne, returned 111 
 1748-9 to England, where He had been before 
 about the year 1737. I faw him foon after his 
 laft arrival : He was a comely middle-fized 
 Man, very referved and afFecSting much dignity, 
 which He a6led in the loweft ebb of his for- 
 tunes, and coupled with the loweft fhifts of 
 his induftry : An inftance of the former appeared 
 during his laft refidence at Florence, where 
 being reduced to extreme poverty, fome Eng- 
 lifli Gentlemen made a colledion for and car- 
 tied to Him, Being apprized of their coming, 
 N and 
 
[ 90 ] 
 
 and having only one chamber la a little mlfer- 
 able lodging. He fqueezed his bed to one fide, 
 ;ind placed a chair under the Canopy, where 
 He lat to receive the Charity. 
 
 Being involved here in former and new debts. 
 He for fome time received benefactions from the 
 Earl of Granville, the Countefs of Yarmouth, 
 and others, and after being arrefted, fome Mer- 
 chants in the City promoted a Subfcription for 
 him ; but He played fo many tricks and coun- 
 terfeited fo many bonds and debts that they 
 withdrew their money. He behaved with llttlq 
 more honour when the preceding paper was 
 publifhed for hi.> benefit. Fifty pounds were 
 raifed by it and fent to his prifon : He pretended 
 to be much difappointed at not receiving more : 
 His debts, he faid, amounted to ^.1500. He 
 font in a few days to Mr. Dodfley, the Publifher 
 of The Worlds to defire the Subfcription might be 
 opened again, which being denied, He fent 4 
 lawyer to Mr. Dodfley to threaten to profecute 
 him for the paper, which He pretended had 
 done him great hurt, and prevented leveral 
 contributions — 
 
 Prccihufquc minas Regaliter addit OviD. 
 
 In. 
 
[ 9M 
 
 In May 1756, this extraordinary event hap- 
 pened : Theodore, a man who had actually 
 reigned^ was reduced to take the henefit of the 
 Ad of Infolvency, and printed the fjllowing 
 petition in the Public Advertifer : 
 
 •< An Addrefs to the Nobility and Gentry of 
 *' Great-Britain, In the behalf of Theo- 
 '< DORE Baron de Newhoff; 
 
 «< ^ I ^ H E Baron through a long imprifon- 
 ** -*^ ment being reduced to very great ex- 
 ** tremities, his cafe is earnefHy recommended 
 ** for a contribution to be raifed, to enable Him 
 *' to return to his own Country, having obtain- 
 ** ed his liberty by the late A61 of Parliament. 
 ** In the late war in Italy the Baron gave mani- 
 *' fefl: proofs of his afFe^Slion for England, and 
 '' as the motives of his coming here are fo well 
 *' known, it is hoped all true friends to Frce- 
 " dom will be excited to aHift a Brave though 
 ^' unfortunate Man, who wiflies to have an 
 ^' opportunity of tcftifying his Gratitude to the 
 " Britifh Nation] 
 
 *' Thofc who arc picafed to contribute on 
 
 *•' this occafion, are defired to depofite their 
 
 N 2 " benefactions 
 
r 92 1 
 
 ** benefa<Slions in the hands of Sir Charles 
 '' Afgyll, Alderman, and company, bankers in 
 *^ Lombard-ftreet, or with Mellrs. Campbell 
 ** and Coutts, bankers in the Strand/* 
 
 Theodore however remained in the liber- 
 ties of the Fleet till December 1756, when 
 taking a chair, for which he had not money 
 to pay, he went to the Portuguefe Minifter's 
 in Audley-ftreet, but not finding him at home, 
 the Baron prevailed on the chair-men to carry 
 him to a Taylor's in Chapel-ftreet, Soho, who 
 having formerly known him and pitying his 
 diftrefs, harboured him in his houfe. Theq.- 
 BORE fell ill there the next day, .and dying in 
 a few days, was buried in the Church-yard of 
 St. Anne in that parifh. 
 
 A ftrong peculiarit}'' of Circumftances attended 
 him to the laft : His manner of obtaining his 
 Liberty was not fo extraordinary as what attended 
 //. Going to Guildhall to demand the benefit 
 of the Aa, He was afked, " What Effefls He 
 "had!" He anfwered, "Nothing but the 
 <^ Kingdom of Corfica." It was accordingly 
 Regiftcrtd for the benefit of hiii Creditors. 
 
 So 
 
t 93 1 
 
 So fingular a Deftiny was thought worthy of 
 a A'lemorial, that might point out the chief ad- 
 ventures and even the place of Interment of this 
 remarkable Perfonage. The Author of this 
 Memoir erected a marble iiear his grave, with 
 a Crown, taken from one of his Coins, and 
 with this infcription : 
 
 Near this Place is Interred 
 
 Theodore King of Corfica, 
 
 Who died in this Parish, December ii, 1756, 
 
 Immediately after leaving the King's-Bench-Prifcn 
 
 By the Benefit of the AS: of Infolvency ; 
 
 In Confequcnce of which He Regiftercd 
 
 His Kingdom of Corfica 
 
 For the Use of His Creditors. 
 
 The Grave, great Teatcher, to a level brings 
 Heroes and Beggars, Galley-Slaves and Kings. 
 But Theodore this Moral learned, e'er dead ; 
 Fate pour'd it's Leflbns on his /mV^Head, 
 Bcflow'd a Kingdom, and denied him Bread 
 
 
 The 
 
C 94 ]• 
 
 The W O R L D. 
 
 By Adam Fitz-Adam. 
 
 Numb. X. ^hurfday^ March 8, iJSh 
 
 THE great men, who introduced the Re- 
 formation into thefe kingdoms, were fo 
 fenfible of the neceility of maintaining devo- 
 tion in the minds of the vulgar by fome exter- 
 nal objeds, by fomewhat of ceremony and form, 
 that they refrained from entirely rippijig off all 
 ornament from the drapery of religion. When 
 they were purging the calendar of legions of 
 vifionary faints, they took due care to defend 
 the niches of real martyrs from profanation; 
 They preferred the holy feftivals, which had 
 been confecrated for many ages to the great 
 luminaries of the church, and at once paid ob- 
 fervance to the memory of the good, and fell 
 in with the popular humour, which loves to re- 
 joice, 
 
[ 95 1 
 
 joice and mourn at the difcretion of the ahna- 
 nack. 
 
 The Fanatics in the reign of Charles the 
 Flrft loudly condemned the retention of this 
 praflice, and were fuch fuccefsful preachers, as 
 to procure obedience to the doctrines they taught ; 
 that is, they infufed greater bigotry into their 
 Congregations againft rules, than the warmeft 
 enthufiafts of former times had been able to 
 propagate for the obfervation of times and fea- 
 fons. But as moft contradictions run into ex- 
 tremes, it muft be allowed that the Prelbyte- 
 rians foon grew as fuperftitious as the moft high- 
 flown zealots of the eftabliflied Church. King 
 James the Firft had endeavoured to turn Sunday 
 into a weekly wake by the book of Sports : The 
 Prefbyterians ufed it often for a Faft-day*. In 
 the court of king Charles, Chriftmas was a fea- 
 fon of mafques and revels : Under the Covenant 
 it was ftill a mafquerading time ; for devotion 
 may be as much difguifed by hypocritic forrow 
 
 * One of Dr. Calamy*s Fafl-fermom was preach" 
 ed on Chrijimas-dajy 1644, before the Houfe of 
 Lords. 
 
 and 
 
1 96 j 
 
 and fackcloth, as by painted vizors and harle- 
 quin jackets. 
 
 In fo enlightened an age as the prefent, I 
 fhall perhaps be ridiculed if I hint, as my opini- 
 on, that the obfervation of certain feftivals is 
 fomething more than a mere political inftitution. 
 I cannot however help thinking that even 
 nature itfelf concurs to confirm my fentiment. 
 Philofophers and freethinkers tell us that a gene- 
 ral fyftem was laid down at firft, and that no 
 deviations have been made to accommodate it 
 to any fubfequent events, or to favour and au- 
 thorize any human inftitutions. When the re- 
 formation of the calendar was in agitation, to 
 the great difguft of many worthy perfons who 
 urged how great the harmony was in the old 
 eftablifhment between the holidays and their 
 attributes (if I may call them fo), and what a 
 confufion would follow if Michaelmas-day, for 
 inftance, was not to be celebrated, when ftubble 
 geefe are in their highcft prefeftion ; it v/as re- 
 plied, that fuch a propriety was merely imagin- 
 ary, and would be loft of itfelf, even without 
 any alteration of the calendar by authority : For 
 if the errors in it were fuftered to go on, they 
 
 would 
 
C 97 1 
 
 would in a certain number of years produce 
 fuch a variation, that we ftiould be mourning 
 for good king Charles on a falfe thirtieth of 
 January, at a time of year when our anceftors 
 ufed to be tumbling over head and heels in 
 Greenwich park in honour of Whitfuntide ; 
 and at length be choofing king and queen for 
 Twclfth-night, when we ought to be admiring 
 the London prentice at Bartholemew fair. 
 
 Cogent as thefe reafons may feem, yet I 
 think I can confute them from the teftimony 
 of a {landing miracle, which not having fub- 
 mitted to the fallible authority of an adl of 
 parliament, may well be faid to put a fuper- 
 natural negative on the wifdom of this world. 
 My readers no doubt are already aware that I 
 have in my eye the wonderful thorn of Glafton- 
 bury*, which though hitherto regarded as a 
 trunk of popifli impofture, has notably exerted 
 itfelf as the moft proteftant plant in the univerfe. 
 
 * Avery fenfihle Sermon was puhlijhed on this 
 Gccajion^ without a name \ it having been pretended 
 that the Glajionbury-thorn blew on the old Chrijimas. 
 Several adverttfements were printed pro and con, 
 
 O It 
 
[ 98 I 
 
 It IS well known that the corre£iion of the ca-' 
 lendar was enabled by Pope Gregory the Thir- 
 teenth, and that the reformed churches have 
 with a proper fpirit of oppofition adhered to the 
 old calculation of the emperor Julius Caefar, 
 who was by no means a papift. * Near two 
 years ago the popifh calendar was brought in ; 
 (I hope by perfons well-afFe6ted !) certain it is 
 that the Glaftonbury thorn has preferved its 
 f iriflexibility^ and obferved it's old anniverfary. 
 Many thoufand fpeftators vifited it on the par- 
 liamentary Chriftmas-day Not a bud was 
 
 to be feen ! On the true nativity it was 
 
 covered with bloffoms. One muft be an infidel 
 indeed to fpurn at fuch authority. Had I been 
 c^onfulted (and mathematical ftudies have not been 
 the moft inconfiderable of my fpeculations), in- 
 ftead of turning the calendar topfy-turvy by 
 
 * TI/is hill was brought in by Lord Chejlerfield 
 and Lord Macclesfield^ the latter of vuhom pub- 
 lij})ed his Speech on that occafion. 
 
 t This alludes to a Candidate for Wejlminjier^ 
 who advertifed this year^ That he would p^rfijl 
 inflexibly in the part he had taken^ but in t%vo days 
 gave up the ek^lion^ 
 
 fantaftic 
 
[ 99 ] 
 
 fantaftic calculations, I fhould have propbfed to 
 regulate the year by the infallible Somerfetfliire 
 thorn, and to have reckoned the months from 
 Chriftmas-d:iy, vi^hich Ihould always have been 
 kept as the Glaftonbury thorn fliould blow. 
 
 Many inconveniencies, to be fure, would 
 follow from this fyftem, but as holy things ought 
 to be the firft confideration of a religious nation^ 
 the inconveniencies fliould be overlooked. The 
 thorn can never blow but on the true Chriftmas- 
 day ; and confequently the apprehenfion of the 
 year's becoming inverted by flicking to the 
 Julian account can never hold* If the courfe 
 of the fun varies, aflronomers may find out 
 fome way to adjuft that : But it is prepofterous, 
 not to fay prefumptuous, to be celebrating 
 Chriftmas-day, when the Glaftonbury thorn, 
 which certainly muft know times and feafons 
 better than an almanack-maker, declares it to 
 be herefy. 
 
 Nor is Chriftmas-Jay the only jubilee which 
 
 "will be morally difturbed by this innovation. 
 
 There is another anniverfary of no lefs celebrity 
 
 among Engliflimen, equally marked by a mar- 
 
 O 2 vellous 
 
[ 100 ] 
 
 vellous concomitance of circumftanccs, and 
 which I venture to prognofticate will not at- 
 tend the erroneous calculation of the prefent 
 fyftem. The day I mean is the firft of April. 
 The pldeft tradition affirms that fuch an infatua- 
 tion attends the firft day of that month, as no 
 forefight can efcape, no vigilance can defeat. 
 Deceit is fuccefsful on that day out of the mouths 
 of babes and fucklings. Grave citizens have 
 been bit upon it ; ufurerers have lent their 
 money on bad fecurity; experienced matrons 
 have married very difappointing young fellows ; 
 mathematicians have miffed the longitude; al- 
 chymifts the philofopher's ftonc 3 and politicians 
 preferment, on that day. 
 
 What confufion will not follow, if the great 
 body of the nation are difappointcd of their 
 peculiar holiday ! This country was formerly 
 difturbed with very fatal quarrels about the cele- 
 bration of Eafter ; and no wife man will tell me 
 that it is not as reafonable to fall out for the 
 obfervance of April-fool-day. Can any benefits 
 arifing from a regulated calendar make amends 
 for an occafion of new fefls ? How many warm 
 
 men 
 
[ lOI ] 
 
 men may refent an attempt to play them ofF on 
 a falfe firft of April, who would have fubniitted 
 to the cuftom of being made fools on the old 
 computation ? If our clergy come to be divided 
 about Folly's anniverfary, we may well expert 
 all the mifchiefs attendant on religious wars ; 
 and we fhall have reafon to wifh that the 
 Glaftonbury thorn would declare as remarkably 
 in favour of the true April-fool-day, as it has 
 in behalf of the genuine Chriftmas. 
 
 Prudentius*, was fo great a zealot for the 
 obfervation of certain feftivals, as to believe that 
 the very damned have a holiday or remiflion 
 from their torments on the anniverfary of the 
 Refurreftion. I will not fay that we ought to 
 follow their reckoning, nor fhall I defend the 
 orthodoxy of the tenet. I only mention it to 
 (how how many interefts may be afFe6led by 
 this regulation, and how impoflible it is to 
 make adequate provifions againft all the unfore- 
 feen mifchiefs that may enfue from difturbing 
 the eftabliflied computation. 
 
 * A Chrijilan poet. 
 
 There 
 
[ 102 ] 
 
 There are many other inconveniencies, which 
 I might lament very emphatically, but none of 
 weight enough to be compared with thofe I 
 have mentioned. I fhall only hint at a whole 
 fyftem overturned by this revolution in the calen- 
 dar, and no provifion, that 1 have heard of, 
 made by the legiflature to remedy it. Yet in a 
 nation which beftows fuch ample rewards on 
 new-year and birth-day odes, it is aftonifliing 
 that the late aft of parliament fliould have over- 
 looked that ufeful branch of our poetry^ which 
 confifts in couplets, faws, and proverbs, pecu- 
 liar to certain days and feafons. Why was not 
 a new fet of diilichs provided by the late re- 
 formers ? Or at leaft a claufe inferted in the 
 aft, enjoining the poet-laureat or fome bene- 
 ficed genius to prepare and new-caft the efta- 
 blifhed rhimes for public ufe ? Were our aftro- 
 nomers fo ignorant as to think that the old pro- 
 verbs would ferve for their new-fangled calendar ? 
 Could they imagine that * St. Swithin would 
 accommodate her rainy planet to the conveni- 
 
 * Thsre is a vulgar notion that if it rains on 
 Ft. Swithin' S'day^ O. S. // will rain for forty 
 Juhfequent days. 
 
 ence 
 
E 103 J 
 
 ^nce of their calculations ? Who that hears 
 the following verfes, but muft grieve for the 
 Ihepherd and hufbandman, who may have all 
 their prognoftics confounded, and be at a lofs 
 to know beforehand the fate of their markets ? 
 Ancient fages fung 
 
 *' If St. Paul be fair and clear, 
 
 <^ Then will betide a happy year, 
 
 ** But if it either fnow or rain, 
 
 *' Then will be dear all kind of grain : 
 
 *' And if the wind doth blow aloft, 
 
 *' Then wars will vex the realm full oft.'* 
 
 1 have declared againft meddling with poli- 
 tics, and therefore fhall fay nothing of the im- 
 portant hints contained in the laft lines : Yet 
 if * certain ill-boding appearances abroad fhould 
 have an ugly end, I cannot help faying that I 
 fhall afcribe their evil tendency to our having 
 been lulled afleep by refting our faith on the 
 calm weather on the pretended converfion of 
 St. Paul ; whereas it was very bluftering oil 
 that feftival, according to the good old account^ 
 as I honeftly, though vainly, endeavoured to 
 
 * Alludes to the Jioppage of the payment on the 
 Sikfian Loan. 
 
 convince 
 
[ 104 ] 
 
 convince a great minifter of flate, whom 1 do 
 not think proper to mention. 
 
 But to return to April-fool-day : I muft entreat 
 my readers and admirers to be very particular in 
 their obfervations on that holiday, both accord- 
 ing to the new and old reckoning. And I beg 
 that they will tranfmit to me or my fecrctary Mr. 
 Dodfley, a faithful and attefted account of the 
 hap that betides them or their acquaintance on 
 each of thofe days ; how often and in what man- 
 ner they make or are made fools ; how they 
 mifcarry in attempts to furprize, or baffle any 
 fnares laid for them. I do not doubt but it will 
 be found that the ballance of folly lies greatly on 
 the fide of the old firft of April ; nay, I much 
 queftion whether infatuation will have any force 
 on what I call the falfe April-fool-day. I fhould 
 take it very kind, if any of my friends who may 
 happen to be (harpers, would try their fuccefs on 
 the ficSitious feftival ; and if they make fewer 
 dupes than ordinary, I flatter myfelf that they 
 will unite their endeavours with mine in decrying 
 and exploding a reformation, which only tends 
 to difcountcnance good old pra*Slices and vener- 
 able fupcrftitions. 
 
 The 
 
The W O R L D. 
 
 By Adam Fitz-Adam. 
 
 " Numb. XIV. Thurfday^ ylpril c^^ ^753* 
 
 I Do not doubt but it is already obferved that 
 I 
 
 write fewer letters to myfelf than any 
 my predeceflbrs. It is not from being lefs ac- 
 quainted with my own merit, but I really look 
 upon myfelf as fuperior to fuch little arts of 
 fame. Compliments, which I fhould be obliged 
 to fhroud under the name of a third perfon, 
 liave very little relifti for me. If I am not con- 
 fiderable enough to pronounce ex cathedra that 
 I Adam Fitz-Adam know how to rally the 
 follies and decide upon the cuftoms of the world 
 with more wit, humour, learning and tafte 
 than any man living, I have in vain undertaken 
 the fcheme of this paper. Who would be re- 
 gulated by the judgment of a man who is not 
 P the 
 
 t ^ 
 
[ io6 ] 
 
 the moft felf-fufficient pcrfon alive ? Why did 
 all the pretty women in England, in the reign 
 of queen Anne, fubmit the gOYeruaient of their 
 Jins, hoods, hoops and patches to the Sped^a- 
 tor, but becaufe he pronounced himfelf the 
 beft critic in fafhions ? Why did half the nation 
 imbibe their politics from the Craftfman, but 
 becaufe Caleb d'Anvers affured them that he 
 underftood the maxims of government and 
 the conftitution of his country better than any 
 minifter or patriot of the time ? Throned as I 
 iam in a perfeft good opinion of my own abili- 
 ties, I fcorn to tafte the fatisfa£lion of praife 
 
 from my own pen and (to be humble for 
 
 once) I own, if there is any fpecies of writ- 
 Jhg of which I am not perfedl m after, it is the 
 epiftolary. My deficience in this particular is 
 happily common to me witli the greateft men : 
 I can even go farther, and declare that it is the 
 Fair part of the creation which excells in that 
 province. Eafe without affectation, the po- 
 iiteft expreffion, the happieft art of telling news 
 or trifles, the moft engaging turns of fentiment 
 Wpaftion, are frequently found in letters from 
 women, who have lived in a fphere at all above 
 
 the 
 
[ 107 1 
 
 the vulgar; while on the other fide, orators 
 write affe^Sledly, miniftcrs obfcurcly, poets flo- 
 ridly, learned men pedantically, and foldlcrs 
 tolerably, when they can fpcll. One would not 
 have one's daughter write like Eloifa, becaufe 
 one would not have one's daughter feel what 
 flie felt ; yet who ever wrote fo movingly^ fo 
 to the heart ? The amiable niadame de Scvigne 
 is the ftandard of eafy engaging writing : To 
 call her the pattern of eloquent writing will 
 not be thought an exaggeration, when I refer 
 my readers to her accounts of the death of mar- 
 flial Turenne: Some little fragments of her 
 letters, in the appendix to Ramfay's life of that 
 iicro, give a ftronger picture of hi;n than th^ 
 hiftorian was able to do in his voluminous work. 
 If this Fair One's epiftles are liable to any 
 cenfure, it is for a fault in which fhe is not 
 likely to be often imitated, the excefs of tender- 
 nefs for her daughter. 
 
 The Italians are as proud of a perfon of the 
 lame fex : * Lucretia Gonzaga was fo celebrated 
 
 * See her article in the gemral Dicfionary\ 
 
 P 2 for 
 
[ io8 1 
 
 for the eloquence of her letters and the purity 
 of their ftyle, that her very notes to her fer- 
 vants were colleded and publifhed. I have 
 never read the collection : One or two billets 
 that I have met with, have not entirely all the 
 delicacy of madame de Sevigne. In one to 
 her footman the fignora Gonzaga reprehends 
 him for not readily obeying dame Lucy her 
 houfekeeper ; and in another addrefled to the 
 fame Mrs. Lucy, fhe fays, " If Livia will not 
 ** be obedient, turn up her coats and whip her 
 *« till her flefh be black and blew, and the blood 
 •' run down to her heels." To be fure this 
 founds a little oddly to Englifh ears, but may 
 be very elegant, when modulated by the har- 
 mony of Italian liquids. 
 
 Several worthy perfons have laid down rules 
 for the compofition of letters, but I fear it is 
 an art v/hich only nature can teach. I remem- 
 ber in one of thofc books (it was written by a 
 German) there was a ftri£i: injunction not to 
 mention yourfelf before you had introduced the 
 perfon of your correfpondent ; that is, you 
 muft never ufe the monofyllable / before the 
 pronoun Tou. The Italians have {lated expref- 
 
 fions 
 
[ 109 ] 
 
 fions to be ufed to different ranks of men, and 
 know exa6lly when to fubfcribe themfelves the 
 devoted or the moft devoted flave of the illuf- 
 trious or moft eminent perfon to whom they 
 have the honour to write. It is true, in that 
 country they have fo clogged correfpondencc 
 with forms and civilities, that they feldom make 
 ufe of their own language, but generally write 
 to one another in French, 
 
 Among many inftances of beautiful letters 
 from ladies, and of the contrary from our 
 fex, I fliall feledl two, which are very fingular 
 in their kind. The comparifon, to be fure, is 
 not entirely fair; but when I mention fome 
 particulars of the male author, one might ex- 
 peft a little more elegance, a little better or- 
 thography, a little more decorum, and a good 
 deal lefs abfurdity, than fecm to have met ii> 
 one head, which had feen fo much of the world, 
 which pretended fo much to litterature, and 
 which had worn fo long one of the lirft crowns 
 in Europe. This perfonage was the emperor 
 Maximilian, grandfather of Charles the Fifth, 
 His reign was long, fometimes fhining, often 
 
 unprofperous. 
 
t .10] 
 
 unprofperous, very often ignominious. His 
 ficklenefs, prodigality and indigence were no- 
 torious. The Italians called him Pochi-danari, 
 or the pehnylefs 'y a quality not more habitual to 
 him than his propenfity to repair his fhattered 
 fortunes by the moft unbecoming means. He 
 ferved under our Henry the Eighth, as a com- 
 mon foldier, at the fiege of Terouenne for a 
 hundred crowns a day ; He was bribed to the 
 attempt againfl: Pifa, and bribed to give it over. 
 In fliort, no potentate ever undertook to engage 
 him in a treaty, without firft offering him 
 money. Yet this vagabond monarch, as if the 
 annals of his reign were too glorious to be de- 
 fcribed by a plebeian pen, or as if they were 
 worthy to be dcfcribed at all, took the pains to 
 write his own life in Dutch verfe. There was 
 another book of his compofition In a different 
 Svay, which does not refle<5l much more luftrc 
 *ipon his memory than his own Dutch epic ; 
 this was what he called his livre rouge^ and was 
 a regiftef of feventeen mortifications which he 
 had received from Louis the Twelfth of PVancc, 
 and which he intended to revenge on the firft 
 Opportunity. After a variety of fliifts, breach 
 
 of 
 
[Ill] 
 
 of promifes, alliances, and treaties, he almoft 
 duped his vain cotemporary Henry the Eighth, 
 with a propofal of refigning the empire to him, 
 while himfelf was meditating, what he thought^ 
 an acceilion of dignity even to the imperial 
 diadem : In fhort, in the latter part of his life 
 Maximilian took it into his head to canvas for 
 the papal Tiara. Several methods were agitated 
 to compafs this objciSl: of his ambition ; One, 
 and not the leaft ridiculous, was to pretend that 
 the patriarchal dignity was included in the im- 
 perial ; and by virtue of that definition he really 
 aflumed the title of Pontifex Maximus, copying 
 the pagan lords of Rome on his way to the fove- 
 reignty of the chriftian church. Money he 
 knew was the fureft method, but the leaft at his 
 command : It was to procure a fupply of that 
 neceffary ingredient that he wrote the follow- 
 ing letter to his daughter Margaret *, ducheft 
 
 dowager 
 
 * This Prtncefs had been efpoufed In her non-age 
 io Charles the Eighth^ but before confummation 
 was Jent back to her father. She was next contraSf- 
 ed to the Prince of Spaln^ but being in a great 
 florm at fea in her paffage to her bridegroom^ She^ 
 according to the cujlom of that age^ tied her cheif 
 
 jewels 
 
[ 112 ] 
 
 dowager of Savoy, and governefs of the Ne- 
 therlands, 
 
 cc 'T^ Res chlere & tres amee fylle, je entendu 
 *' Tavis que vous m'avez donne par Guyl- 
 
 *' lain Pingun notre garderobes, dont avons en- 
 *^ core mieux pense. Et ne trouvons point pour 
 *' nulle refun bon que nous nous dcvons fran- 
 *' chement marier, maes avons plus avant mys 
 *' notre deliberation & volonte de jamcs plus 
 *' hanter facm nue. Et envoyons demain Monfr. 
 *' de Gurce Evefque a Rome devers le pape pour 
 *' trouver fachon que nous puyfluns accorder 
 " avec ly de nous prendre pour ung coadjuteur, 
 '' affin que apres fa mort pouruns eftre aflure de 
 *' avoer le papat, & devenir prefter, & apres 
 '* eftre faint, & que yl vous fera de neceilite que 
 
 jewels to her arm^ that her body, if found, 7night 
 be known ; and with great tranquillity co?npdfed 
 and fajhned with them the following dijlich : 
 
 ^^ Cy giji Margole, noble Demoifelle, 
 *' Deuxfois marie e, ^ morte Fucdle** 
 
 However, She efcaped, and lived to have two real 
 hujbands, the Prince above-mentioned^ and the 
 Duke of Savoy, 
 
 <* apres 
 
[ "3 ] 
 
 f^ apres ma mort vous feres contraint de me 
 <^ adorer, dont je me trovere bien glorioes. Je 
 '' envoye fur ce ung pofte devers le roy d'Arogon 
 ^' pour ly prier qu'y nous voulle ayder pour a ce 
 ^' parvenir, dont il eft aufTy content, moynant 
 ^' que je refigne I'empir a noftre comun fyls 
 ^' Charles, de fela aufTy je me fuys contente. 
 *^ Je commance aufly pracftiker Ics Cardinaulx, 
 '' dont ii C. ou iii C. mylle ducats me ferunt 
 *' ung grand fervice, aveque la partialite qui eft 
 '' deja entre eos. Le roy d'Arogon a mande i 
 "-' fon ambaxadeur que yl veulent favouryfer le 
 *' papat a nous. Je vous prie, tenes cette ma- 
 " tere empu fecret, oifli bien en briefF jours je 
 ** creins que yl faut que tout le monde le fache, 
 '^ car bien mal efti poffible de pratiker ung tel 
 *^ fy grand matere fecretement, pour laquell yl 
 *' faut avoer de tant de gens & de argent, fuc- 
 *' curs & pratike, & a Diu, fact de la main de 
 *' votre bon pere Maximilianus futur pape, le 
 *' XVIII jour de fetembre* Le papa a encor 
 ^' les vyevers dubls, & ne peult longement 
 << fyvre." 
 
 This curious piece, which it is impoflible to 
 tranflate (for w^hat language can give an adequate 
 
[ "4 ] 
 
 Idea of very bad old German French ? ), is to 
 be found in the fourth volume of letters of 
 Louis the Twelfth, printed at Bruflels by Fr. 
 Foppens in 17 12. It will be fufficient to in- 
 form fuch of my readers as do not underftand 
 French, that his imperial majefty acquaints his 
 beloved daughter that he defigns never to fre- 
 quent naked women any more, but to ufe all 
 his endeavours to procure the papacy^ and then 
 to turn prieft, and at length become a faint, 
 that his dear daughter may be obliged to pray to 
 him, which he (hall reckon matter of exceed- 
 ing glory. He exprefles great want of two or 
 three hundred thoufand ducats to facilitate the 
 bufmefs, which he defires may be kept very 
 fecret, though he does not doubt but all the 
 world will know it in two or three days ; and 
 concludes with figning himfelf y///»r^ Pope. 
 
 As a contraft to this fcrap of imperial folly, 
 I (hall prefent my readers with the other letter 
 I mentioned. It was written by the lady Annc^ 
 widow of the earls of Dorfet and Pembroke 
 (the life of the former of whom flie wrotc)» 
 and heirefs of the great houfc of Clifford-- 
 Cumberland,, from which, among many noble 
 
 reverfions. 
 
[ "5 ] 
 
 reverfions, fhe enjoyed the borough of Appleby. 
 Sir Jofeph Williamfon, fecretary of ftate to 
 Charles the Second, wrote to name a candi- 
 date to her for that borough : The brave Coun- 
 tefs, with all the fpirit of her anceftors, and 
 with all the eloquence of independent Greece, 
 returned this laconic anfwer, 
 
 ** T Have been bullied by an Ufurper, I have 
 *' been neglefted by a Court, but I will not 
 *« be dilated to by a SubjecSl ; your man flia'n't 
 ^'ftand. 
 
 ANNE DORSET, 
 
 PEMBROKE, ^w^MONTQOMERY," 
 
 Th<^ 
 
[ ii6 ] 
 
 The W O R JL D. 
 
 By Adam Fitz-Adaai. 
 
 Numb. XXVIII. "Thurfday^July 12^ 1753. 
 
 Pauci dtgnofcere pojfunt 
 
 Verahona^ atque illis multum diverfa. Juv. 
 
 T T is a common obfervatlon, that though 
 -■• happinefs is every man's aim, and though 
 it is generally purfued by a gratification of the 
 predominant pafTion, yet few have acutenefs 
 enough to difcover the points which would effec- 
 tually procure the long-fought end. One can- 
 not but wonder that fuch intehfe application as 
 moft of us beftow on the cultivation of our fa- 
 vorite defires, fhould yet leave us ignorant of 
 the moft eflential objects of our ftudy. For my 
 part, I was fo early convinced of the truth of 
 what I have aflerted, that inftead of fearching 
 
 for 
 
[ "7 1 
 
 for what would contribute moft to my own* 
 happinefs, I have fpent great part of my life in 
 the fVuJy of what may extend the enjoyment of 
 others. That knowledge I flatter myfelf I have 
 difcovered, and Ihall now difclofe to the world. 
 I bes: to be attended to : I beo; mankind will 
 believe that I know better than any of them 
 what will afcertain the felicity of their lives. 
 I am not going to impart fo great (though fo 
 often revealed) a fecret, as that it is religion 
 or virtue : Few would believe me ; fewer would 
 try the recipe. In fpite of the philofophy of 
 the age, in fpite of the gravity of my charatSler, 
 and of the decency which I hope I have hitherto 
 moft fanftimonioufly obferved, I muft avow my 
 perfuafion, that the fenfual pleafure of love 
 is the great cordial of life, and the only fpecific 
 for removing the anxieties of our own paifions, 
 or for fupporting the injuries and iniquities which 
 we fufFer from thofe of other men. 
 
 ^' Well ! (fliall I be told) and is this your 
 *' admirable difcovery ? Is this the arcanum 
 '' that has efcaped the penetration of all inqui- 
 *' rcrs in all ages ? What other doftrine has 
 
 " been 
 
[ "8 ] 
 
 •* been taught by the moft fcnfiblc philofophcrs ? 
 *^ Was not this the text of the fermons of Epi- 
 •< CURUS ? Was not this the theory, and prac- 
 •* tice too, of the experienced Alcibiades ? 
 *^ What other were the tenets of the fage lord 
 ** Rochester, or of the miffionary Saint^ 
 
 "EvREMONT?" It is very true; and a 
 
 thoufand other founders of fefts, nay of reli- 
 gious orders, have taught or at leaft prac- 
 
 tifed, the fame do<9:rines. But I pretend to in- 
 troduce fuch refinements into the fyftem of 
 fenfuality, as fhall vindicate the difcovery to 
 myfeif, and throw at a diftance the minute 
 philofophcrs, who (if they were my forerunners) 
 only fer\'ed to lead the world aftray. 
 
 Hear then in one word the myfterious pre* 
 cept ! '' Taung women are not the proper ob- 
 '« jeft of fenfual love : It is the matron, the 
 *' HOARY FAIR who can give, communicate, 
 *' infure happinefs." I might enumerate a thou- 
 fand rcafons to inforce my dodlrine, as the 
 ficklenefs of youth, the caprices of beauty and 
 it's tranfient ftate, the jealoufy from rivals, the 
 diftradion from having children, the important 
 
 avocations 
 
avocations of drefs, and the infinite occupa- 
 tions of a pretty woman, which endanger or 
 divide her fentiments from being always fixed on 
 the faithful lover ; and none of which combat 
 the aiFeftions of the grateful, tender, attentive 
 MATRON. But as one example is worth a 
 thoufand reafons, I fliall recommend my plan 
 by pointing out the extreme happinefs which 
 has attended fuch difcreet heroes as are com- 
 memorated in the annals of love for having of- 
 fered up their hearts at ancient fhrines; and I 
 fhall clearly demonftrate by precedents, that 
 feveral ladies in the bloom of their wrinkles have 
 infpired more laftirig and more fervent paflions, 
 than the greateft beauties who had fcarce loft 
 fight of their teens. The fair young creatures 
 of the prefent hour will forgive a preference 
 which is the refult of deep meditation, great 
 reading, and ftri<ft impartiality, when they re- 
 fledt, that they can fcarce contrive to be young 
 above a dozen years, and may be old for fifty 
 or fixty ; and they may believe me, that after 
 forty they will value one lover more, than they 
 do twenty now; a fenfation of happinefs, 
 ^hich they will find increafe as they advance 
 
 id 
 
[ 120 ] 
 
 in years. I cannot but obfervc with pleafure 
 that * the legiflature itfelf feems to coincide 
 with my way of thinking, and has very pru- 
 dently enavfted that young ladies (hall not enter 
 fo early into the bonds of love, when they arc 
 incapable of refleftion, and of all the ferious 
 duties which belong to an union of hearts. A 
 fentiment, which indeed our laws feem always 
 to have had in view ; for unlefs there was im- 
 planted in our natures a ftrong temptation to- 
 wards the love of ELDERLY women, why 
 fhould the very firft prohibition in the table of 
 confanguinity forbid a man to marry his grand- 
 mother? 
 
 The firft heroine we read of, whofe charms 
 were proof againft the injuries of time, was 
 the accomplifhed Sarah : I think the moft 
 moderate computations make her to be ninety 
 when that wanton monarch Abimelech would 
 have undermined her virtue. But as doubtlefs 
 the obfervance of that virtue had been the great 
 
 * This alludes to the 7narrlage-aSl pajfed at the 
 conclufton of the preceding fejjion, 
 
 foundation 
 
[ 121 ] 
 
 foundation of the continuance of her beautj^, 
 and as the rigidnefs of it rather exempts her 
 from, than expofes her as an obje^l of my doc- 
 trine, I fhall fay no more of that lady : Efpe- 
 cially, as her being obliged to wear a fack to 
 hide a big-belly at a very unfeafonable age> 
 clafhes with one of my ftanding arguments for 
 the love of elderly avomen. 
 
 FIelen, the beautiful Helen, if there is any 
 truiling to claflic parifh-regifters, was fourfcore 
 when Paris ftole her; and though the war 
 lafted ten years after that on her account, mon- 
 iieur Homer, who wrote their romance, does 
 not give any hint of the gallant young prince 
 having (hewed the leaft decay of paffion or fymp- 
 torn of inconftancy : A fidelity, which in all 
 probability was at leall as much owing to the 
 experience of the dame, and to her knowledge 
 in the refinements of pleafure, as to her bright 
 eyes, unfaded complexion, or the everlafting 
 lillies and rofes of her cheeks. 
 
 I am not clear that length of years, efpe- 
 
 cially in heroic minds, does not increafe rather 
 
 than abate the fentimental flame. The great 
 
 R Eliza- 
 
[ 122 ] 
 
 Elizabeth, whofe paflion for the unfortu- 
 nate earl of Essex is juftly a favorite topic with 
 all who delight in romantic hiftory, was full 
 fixty-eight when fhe condemned her lover to 
 death for flighting her endearments. And, if 
 I might inftance in our own fex, the charming, 
 the meritorious Antony was not far from 
 feventy before he had fo much tafte as to facri- 
 fice the meaner pafiion of ambition, nay the 
 world itfelf, to love. 
 
 But it is in France, that kingdom fo ex- 
 xjuifitely judicious in the affairs of love, from 
 whence we may copy the arts of happinefs, as 
 well as their other difcoveries in pleafure. The 
 monarchs of that nation liave more than once 
 taught the world by their example, that a fine 
 woman, though pafl: her grand climadleric, 
 may be but juft touching the meridian of her 
 charms. Henry the Second, and Louis the 
 Fourteenth will be for ever memorable for 
 the paflions they fo long felt for the duchefs 
 of Valentinois, and madame de Main- 
 tenon. The former, in the heat of youth 
 and profpe6t of empire, became a flave to the 
 refpeSable attra<aions of Diana de Poitiers, 
 
 Rianj'' 
 
[ 123 1 
 
 many years after his ♦ injudicious father had 
 quitted the pofleflion of her on the filly appre- 
 ' henfion that fhe was growing old : And to the 
 laft moment of his life and reign, Henry was 
 a conflant, jealous adorer of her ftill ripening 
 charms. When the age was over-run with 
 aftrology, fuperftition, bigotry and notions of 
 necromancy, king Henry ftill idolized a wo- 
 man, who had not only married her f grand- 
 daughter, then a celebrated beauty, but who, 
 if any other prince had reigned, was ancient 
 enough to have come within the defcription 
 of forcery : So little do the vulgar diftinguifh 
 between the ideas of an old witch and a fine 
 woman. The paflion of the other monarch 
 was no lefs remarkable. That hero, who had 
 gained fo many battles by proxy, had prefided 
 in perfon at fo many tournaments, had raife4 
 fuch water-works, and flied fuch ftreams of 
 
 * Francis the Flrji : It is faid that the Father 
 cf Diana de Poitiers being condemned to deaths 
 his daughter obtained not only his pardon^ but the 
 affeSlion^ of that prince. HoiveveVy he quitted^ 
 her for the Duchejfe d' EJiampes. 
 
 f Madamoifelle de la Mark. 
 
 R 2 heretic 
 
[124] 
 
 heretic blood, and, which was ftill more glo- 
 rious, had enjoyed (o many of the fineft women 
 in Europe, was at laft captivated by an old 
 govcrnante, and fighed away whole years at 
 the feet of his venerable miftrefs as fhe worked 
 at her tent with fpeftacles. If Louis le 
 GRAND was not a judge of pleafure, who can 
 pretend to be ? If he was, in favour of what 
 age did he give the golden apple ? 
 
 I fhall clofe my catalogue of ancient miftrefles 
 with the renowned Ninon L'enclos, a lady 
 whofe life alone is fufHcient to inculcate my 
 doflrine in its utmoft force. I fhall fay nothing 
 of her numerous conquefts for the firft half of 
 Jier life : She had wit, youth and beauty, three 
 ingredients which will always attract filly ad- 
 mirers. It was not till her fifty fixth year that 
 her fuperior merit diftinguifhed itfelf; and from 
 that to her ninetieth fhe went on improving in 
 the real arts and charms of love. How un- 
 fortunate am I, that flie did not live a few year? 
 longer, that I might have had the opportunity 
 
 of wearing her chains ! It was in her fifty 
 
 fixth year that the chevalier de Villiers, a 
 natural fon whom (he had had by the comte 
 
 de 
 
[ ^25 ] 
 
 dc Gerze , arrived at Paris from the provinces, 
 where he had been educated without any know- 
 ledge of his real parents. He faw his mother ; 
 he fell in love with her. The increafe, the 
 vehemence of his paflion gave the greateft dif- 
 quiets to the afFeftionate matron. At laft, 
 when nothing but a difcovery of the truth could 
 put a flop, as {he thought, to the impetuofity 
 of his attempts, {he carried him into her bed- 
 chamber Here my readers will eafdy con- 
 ceive the tranfports of a young lover, juft on 
 the brink of happinefs with a charming miftrefs 
 of near threefcore ! As the adventurous youth* 
 would have pu{hcd his enterprizes, {he checked 
 him, and pointing to a clock, faid, " Ra{li 
 ** boy, look there ! at that hour, two and 
 ** twenty years ago, I was delivered of You 
 '^ in this very bed ! '* It is a certain faft, that 
 the unfortunate, aba{hed young man flew into 
 the garden and fell upon his fword. This cataf- 
 trophe had like to have deprived the age of the 
 moft accomplifhed miftrefs that ever adorned 
 the Cythcrean annals. It was above twenty 
 years before the afflifted mother would liften to 
 any addrefTes of a tender nature. At length 
 
 the 
 
[ "6 1 
 
 the polite Abbe de Gedoyn preflcd and obtained 
 an affignation. He came and found the en- 
 chanting Ninon lying on a couch, like the 
 grandmother of the Loves, in the moft gallant 
 difhabille ; and what was ftill more delightful, 
 difpofed to indulge his utmoft wifhes. After 
 
 the moft charming endearments, he afked her 
 
 but with the greateft refped:. Why Ihe had fo 
 long deferred the completion of his happinefs ? 
 *' Why," replied fhe, " I muft confefs it pro- 
 *^ ceeded from a remain of vanity : I did pique 
 *' myfelf upon having a lover at paft four- 
 <^ SCORE, and it was but yefterday that I was 
 " EIGHTY compleat," 
 
 The 
 
[ 127 3 
 
 The W O R L D. 
 
 By Adam Fitz-Adam. 
 Numb. CIII. Thurfday^ December 19, 1754, 
 
 I A M never better pleafed than when I can 
 vindicate the honour of my native country : 
 At the fame time, I would not endeavour to 
 defend it prepofteroufly, nor to contradict the 
 eyes, the fenfes of mankind, out of ftark good 
 patriotifm. The flucStuatlng condition of the 
 things of this world neceflarily produces a 
 change in manners and morals, as well as in 
 the face of countries and cities. Climates can- 
 not operate fo powerfully on conftitutions, as 
 to preferve the fame charafter perpetually to the 
 fame nations. I do not doubt but in fome age 
 of the world the Boeotians will be a very lively 
 whimfical people, and famous for their repartees j 
 and that our neighbour iflanders will be remark- 
 able 
 
[ 128 ] 
 
 able for the truth of their ideas, and for the 
 precifion with which they will deliver their con- 
 ceptions. Some men are fo bigotted to anti- 
 quated notions, that if they were, even in this 
 age, to write a panegyric on old England, they 
 would cram their compofition with encomiums 
 on our good-nature, our bravery, and our hof- 
 pitality. This indeed might be a panegyric on 
 OLD England, but would have very little re- 
 fcmblance to the modern charafteriftics of the 
 nation. Our good nature was neceffarily fower- 
 ed by the fpirit of party ; our courage has been 
 a little cramped by the a£l of parliament that 
 reftrained prize-fighting ; and hofpitality is 
 totally imprafticable, fince a much more laud- 
 able cuftom has been introduced, and prevailed 
 univerfally, of paying the fervants of other 
 people much more than their mailer's dinner 
 coft. Yet we (hall always have virtues fuffici- 
 ent to countenance very exalted panegyrics: 
 And if fome of our more heroic qualities are 
 grown obfelete, others of a gentler caft, and 
 better calculated for the happinefs of fociety, 
 have grown up and difFufed themfclves in their 
 room. While we were rough and bold, we 
 
 could 
 
[ 129 ] 
 could not be polite : While we feafted half a 
 dozen wapentakes with firloins of beef, and 
 fheep roaftcd whole, we could not attend to 
 the mechanifm of a plate, no bigger than a 
 crown-piece, loaded with the legs of canary 
 birds, dreiled a la Pompadour. 
 
 Let nobody ftart at my calling this a polite 
 nation. It fhall be the bufinefs of this paper 
 to prove that we are the moft polite nation in 
 Europe ; and that France muft yield to us in 
 the extreme delicacy of our refinements. I 
 might urge, as a glaring inftance in which that 
 nation has forfeited her title to politenefs, the 
 impertinent fpirit of their parliaments, which 
 though couched in very civilly- worded remon- 
 ftrances, is certainly at bottom very ill-bred. 
 They have contradi(Sled their monarch, and 
 crofled his clergy in a manner not to be de- 
 fended by a people who pique themfelves upon 
 complaifance and attentions But I abomi- 
 nate politics ; and when I am writing in defence 
 of politenefs, fhall certainly not blend fo coarfc 
 a fubje6l with fo civil a theme. 
 
 S It 
 
[ 130 ] 
 
 It is not virtue that conftltutes the poh'tenefs 
 of a nation, but the art of reducing vice to a 
 fyftem that does not Ihock fociety. ^' Polite- 
 '' NESs" (as I underftand the v^ord) "is an 
 '' univerfal defire of pleafing others (that are 
 '^ not too much below one) in trifles, for a 
 *' little time ; and of making one's intercourfe 
 *^ with them agreeable to both parties, by civili- 
 *' ty without ceremony, by eafe without bru- 
 '* taiity, by complaifance without flattery, by 
 ^' acquiefcence without fmcerity." A clergy- 
 man who puts his patron into a fweat by driv- 
 ing him round the room, till he has found the 
 cooleft place for him, is not polite. When 
 Bubbamira changes her handkerchief before you, 
 and wipes her neck, rather than leave you alone 
 while fhe Ihould perform the refrefhing office in 
 next room; I fhould think fhe is not polite. 
 When Boncceur fhivers on your dreary hill, 
 where for twenty years you have been vainly 
 endeavouring to raife reludant plantations, and 
 yet profefl^es that only fome of the trees have 
 been a little kept back by the late dry feafon ; 
 he is not polite ; he is more ; he is kind. When 
 
 Sophia 
 
. [ 13* ] 
 
 Sophia is really pleafed with the ftench of a ken- 
 nel, becaufe her hufband likes that fhe (hould 
 go and look at a favorite litter ; fhe muft not 
 pretend to politenefs ; fhe is only a good wife. 
 If this definition, and thefe inflances are allowed 
 me, it will be difficult to maintain that the 
 nations who have had the moil: extenfive re- 
 nown for politenefs, had any pretenfions to it. 
 The Greeks called all the refl of the world bar- 
 barians : The Romans went flill farther, and 
 treated them as fuch. Alexander, the befl-bred 
 hero among the former, I muft own, was polite, 
 and fhowed great attentions for Darius's 
 family ; but I queflion, if he had not extended 
 his ATTENTIONS a little farther to the princefs 
 Statira, whether he could be pronounced quite 
 -well-bred. For the Romans ; fo far from hav- 
 ing had any notion of treating foreigners w^ith re- 
 gard, there is not one clafTic author that men- 
 tions a fingle ball or mafquerade given to any 
 flranger of diflindlion. Nay, it was a common 
 pra«Slice with them to tic kings, queens, and 
 women of the firfl fafliion of other countries 
 in couples, like hounds, and drag them along 
 their via PtccadilUa in triumph, for the enter-. 
 S 2 tainmcnt 
 
[ 132 ] 
 
 tainment of their ftiopkeepers and prentices. A 
 pra£lice that we fliould look upon with horror ! 
 What would The Examiner have faid, if the 
 duke of Marlborough had hauled marfhal Tal- 
 lard to St. Paul's or the Royal Exchange behind 
 his chariot ? How defervedly would the French 
 have called us savages, if we had made mar- 
 fhall Belleifle pace along the kennel in Fleet- 
 ftreet, or up Holbourn, while fome of our 
 minifters or generals called it an ovation r 
 
 The French, who attempt to fucceed the 
 Romans in empire, and who affecl to have fuc- 
 ceeded them in politenefs, have adopted the 
 fame way of thinking, though fo contrary to 
 true good-breeding. They have no idea that 
 an Englifhman or a German ever fees a fuit 
 of cloaths till he arrives at Paris. They won- 
 der, if you talk of a coach at Vienna, or of a 
 foupe at London ; and are fo confident of hav- 
 ing monopolized all the arts of civilized life, 
 that with the greateft complaifance in the world, 
 they affirm to you. That they fuppofe your 
 dukes and duchefles live in caves, with only the 
 property of wider forefts than ordinary, and 
 
 that 
 
C Ui J 
 
 that ies mi lords Anglois^ with a great deal of 
 money, live upon raw fiefh, and ride races 
 without breeches or faddles. At their houfes, 
 they receive you with wonder that fliocks you, 
 or with indifference that mortifies you ; and if 
 they put themfelves to the torture of converfing 
 with you, after you have taken infinite pains 
 to acquire their language, it is merely to in- 
 form you, that you neither know how to drefs 
 like a fenfible man, nor to eat, drink, game, 
 or divert yourfelf like a chriftian. How dif- 
 ferent are our attentions to foreio:ners ! how 
 open our houfes to their nobility, our purfes to 
 their tradefmen ! But without drawing antithcfes 
 between our politenefs and their ill-breeding, I 
 Ihall produce an inftance in which we have 
 pufhed our refinements on the duties of fociety^ 
 beyond what the moft civilized nations ever 
 imagined. We are not only well-bred in com- 
 mon intercourfe, but our very crimes are tranf- 
 a6led with fuch a foftnefs of manners, that 
 though they may injure^ they are fure never to 
 affront our neighbour. The inftance I mean, 
 is the extreme good-breeding which has been 
 introduced into the fcience of robbery, which 
 
 (confidering 
 
[ 134] 
 
 (confidering how very frequent it is become) 
 would really grow a nufance to fociet}', if the 
 profeflbrs of it had not taken all imaginable pre- 
 cautions to make it as civil a commerce, as 
 gaming, conveyancing, toad-eating, pimping, 
 or any of the money-inveigling arts, which had 
 already got an eftabliflied footing in the world. 
 A highwayman would be reckoned a brute, 
 a MONSTER, if he had not all manner of at- 
 tention not to frighten the ladies \ and none of 
 the great Mr. Nafli's laws are more facred, than 
 that of reftoring any favorite bawble to which a 
 robbed lady has a particular partiality. Now 
 turn your eyes to France. No people upon 
 earth have lefs of the fcavoir vivre than their 
 banditti. No Tartar has lefs douceur in his man- 
 ner than a French highwayman. They take 
 yoiir money without making you a bow, and 
 your life without making you an apology. 
 This obliges their government to keep up a nu- 
 merous guet, a fevere police, racks, gibbets, 
 and twenty troublefome things, which might 
 2.11 be avoided, if they would only reckon and 
 breed up their theives to be good company. I 
 know that fome of our lateft imported young 
 
 gentlemen 
 
[ ^35 1 
 gentlemen affirm that the fieur Mandrin *, the 
 terror of the eaftern provinces, learned to dance 
 of Marfeiile himfelf, and has frequently fupped 
 with the incomparable f Jelliot. But till I hear 
 whether he dies like a gentleman^ I fhall forbear 
 to rank him with the feiit maitres of our own 
 Tyburn. How extreme is the politefle of the 
 latter ! Mrs. J Chenevix has not more infmua- 
 tion when flie fells a fnufF-box of papier mach}^ 
 or a bergamot toothpick-cafe, than a highway- 
 man when he begs to know if you have no 
 rings nor bank-bills. 
 
 An II acquaintance of mine was robbed a 
 few years agOj and very near Ihot through the 
 head by the going ofF of the piftol of the ac- 
 compliihed Mr. Mc.-Lean ; yet the whole 
 affair was conducted with the greateft good- 
 breeding on both fides. The robber, who had 
 only taken a purfe this way^ becaufe he had that 
 morning been difappointed of marrying a great 
 fortune, no fooner returned to his lodgings, 
 
 * A famous French fmuggler. 
 t A finger in the opera at Paris. 
 X A fajhionable toy-woman^ 
 , \ The Author himfelf than 
 
1 136 ] 
 
 than he feiit the gentleman two letters of ex- 
 cufes, which, with lefs wit than the epiftles 
 of Voiture, had ten times more natural and 
 eafy politenefs in the turn of their expreflion. 
 In the poftfcript, he appointed a meeting at Ty- 
 burn at twelve at night, where the gentleman 
 might purchafe again any trifles he had loft ; 
 and my friend has been blamed for not accept- 
 ing the rendezvous, as it feemed liable to be 
 conftrued by ill-natured people into a doubt of 
 the honour of a man, who had given him all the 
 fatisfadtion in his power, for having unluckily 
 been near fliooting him through the head. 
 
 The Lacedaemonians were the only people, 
 except the Englifh, who feem to have put rob- 
 bery on a right foot ; and I have wondered how 
 a nation that had delicacy enough to underftand 
 robbing on the highway, fhould at the fame 
 time have been fo barbarous, as to efteem pover- 
 ty, blackbroth, and virtue ! We had no high- 
 waymen, that were men of fafhion, till we 
 had exploded plumb-porridge. 
 
 But of all the gentlemen of the road, who 
 have confor?ned to the manners of the great 
 
 WORLD, 
 
[ iZ7 ] 
 
 WORLD, none feem to me to have carried true 
 POLITENESS fo far as a late adventurer whom I 
 beg leave to introduce to my readers under the 
 name of the visiting highwayman. This 
 refined perfon made it a rule to rob none but 
 people he vifited \ and whenever he defigned an im- 
 promptu of that kind, dreiled himfelf in a rich 
 fuit, went to the * lady's houfe, afked for her, 
 and not finding her at home, left his name with 
 her porter, after inquiring which way flie was 
 gone. He then followed, or met her, on her 
 return home ; propofed his demands, which were 
 generally for fome favourite ring or fn ufF-box 
 that he had feen her wear, and which he had a 
 mind to wear for her fake ; and then letting her 
 know that he had been to wait on her^ took his 
 leave with a cool bow, and without fcampering 
 away, as other men of faftiion do from a vifit with 
 really the appearance of having ftolen fomething. , 
 
 As I do not doubt but fuch of my fair readers, 
 as propofe being at home this winter, will be im- 
 patient to fend this charming fmugler (Charles 
 Fleming by name) a card for their afiemblies, I 
 am forry to tell them that he was hanged laft week, 
 
 * T^his happened to a lady at Thi/lleworth, 
 
 T The 
 
The W O R L D. 
 
 By Adam Fitz-Adam. 
 
 NuMB.CLX. Thurfday^ January 22^ ly ^6. 
 
 To Mr. Fitz-Adam. 
 
 I Think, Sir, more than three years are paft, 
 fince you began to beftow your labours on 
 the reformation of the follies of the age. You 
 have more than once hinted at the great fuccefe 
 that has attended your endeavours ; but furely, 
 Mr. Fitz-Adam, you deceive yourfelf. Which, 
 of your papers has efFecStuated any real amend- 
 ment ? Have fevt^er fools gone to, or returned 
 from France, fince you commenced author ? 
 Or have fewer French follies been purchafed or 
 propagated by thofe who never were in France ? 
 Do not women, drefled French, ftill iffue from 
 houfes drefled Chinefe^ to theatres drefled Ita- 
 lian, 
 
[ ^39 ] 
 
 lian, in fpite of your grave admonitions ? Do 
 the young men wear lefs claret, or the beauties 
 lefs rouge^ in obedience to your lc£tures ? Do 
 men of fafliion, who ufed to fling for a thou- 
 fand pounds a throw, now caft only for five 
 hundred ? Or if they fhould, do you impute it 
 to Your credit with Them, or to l^heir want 
 of credit ? I do not mean, Sir, to depreciate 
 the merit of your lucubrations : In point of 
 efFecS, I believe they have operated as great 
 reformation as the difcourfes of the divine So- 
 crates, or the fermons of the afFeding Tillotfon, 
 I really believe you would have corrected that 
 young Athenian marquis, Alcibiades, as foon 
 as his philofophic preceptor. What I would 
 urge is, that all the preachers in the world, 
 whether jocofe, fatiric, fevere, or damnator)'', 
 will never be able to bring about a reformation 
 of manners, by the mere charms of their elo- 
 quence or exhortation. You cannot imagine, 
 Mr. Fitz-Adam, how much edge it would give 
 to your wit to be backed by a little temporal 
 authority. We may in vain regret the fimpli- 
 city of manners of our anceftors, while there 
 are no fumptuary laws to reftrain luxury, no 
 T 2 ecclenaftic 
 
[ HO ] 
 
 ccclefiaftic ccnfures to caftigate vice. I fliall 
 ofFer to your readers an iiiftance or two, to elu- 
 cidate the monftrous difproportion between our 
 riches and extravagance, and the frugality of 
 former times ; and then produce fome of the 
 wholefome cenfures and penalties, which the 
 elders of the church were empowered to impofe 
 on perfons of the firft rank, who contravened the 
 cftablilhed rules of fobriety and decorum. 
 
 How would our progenitors have been a- 
 ftonifhed at reading the very firft article in the 
 late will of a * Grocer ! *^ Imprimis, I give to 
 ** my dear wife, one hundred thoufand pounds,^* 
 A fum exceeding a benevolence, or two fub- 
 fidies, fome ages ago. Nor wms this enormous 
 leo^acy half the perfonal eftate of the above- 
 mentioned tradefman, on whom I am far from 
 defi'ming to refleiS : He raifed his fortune honeft- 
 ly and induftrioufly : But I hope fome future 
 antiquarian, flruck with the prodigality of the 
 times, will compute how much fugar and plumbs 
 muft have been wafted weekly in one incon- 
 fiderablc parifti in London, or even in one or 
 two ftreets of that parifli, before a fingle fhop- 
 
 * One Crajleyn, . keeper 
 
C HI ] 
 
 keeper could have raifed four hundred thcufand 
 pounds by retailing thofe and fuch like commo- 
 dities. Now let us turn our eyc>s back to the 
 year 1385, and we fliall find no lefs a perfon 
 than the incomparable and virtuous lady Joan, 
 princefs dowager of Wales, by her laft will and 
 teftament bequeathing the following fimple move- 
 ables y and we may well believe they were the 
 rnofl: valuable of her poffeflions, as flie divided 
 them between her fon the king, and her other 
 children. To her fon, king Richard, fhe gave 
 her new bed of red velvet, embroidered with 
 oftrich feathers of filver, and heads of leopards 
 of gold, with boughs and leaves proceeding 
 from their mouths. Alfo to her fon Thomas, 
 earl of Kent, her bed of red camak, paled with 
 red, and rays of gold ; and to John Holland, 
 her other fon, one bed of red camak. Thefe 
 particulars are faithfully copied from Dugdale *, 
 an inftance of fimplicity and moderation in fo 
 great and illuflrious a princefs, which I fear 
 I fiiould in vain recommend to my cotempo- 
 rarics, and which is only likely to be imitated, 
 
 * vol, 2. />. 94. 
 
[ H2 1 
 
 as all her adier virtues are, by the true repre- 
 fentative of her fortune and excellence *. 
 
 I come now. Sir, to thofe proper checks 
 upon licentioufnefs, which, though calculated 
 to ferve the views of a popifh clergy, were un- 
 doubtedly great reftraints v upon immorality and 
 indecency ; and we may lament that fuch fober 
 inftitutions were abolifhed with the real abufes 
 of popery. Our ecclefiaftic fuperiors had power 
 to lay fuch fines and muldls upon wantonnefs, 
 as might raife a revenue to the church and poor, 
 and at the fame time leave the lordly tranfgref- 
 fors at liberty to enjoy their darling foibles, if 
 they would but pay for them. Adultery, for- 
 nication, drunkennefs, and the other amufe- 
 ments of people of fafhion, it would have been 
 in vain to fubjed: to corporal punifliments. To 
 ridicule thofe vices, and laugh them out of date 
 by Tatlers, Spedlators and Worlds, Vv^as not 
 the talent of monks and confeflbrs, who at beft 
 only knew how to wrap up very coarfe terms 
 in very bald latin, and jingling verfes. The 
 
 * The prefent Princefs Dowager of IFales, 
 
 clergy 
 
[ H3 ] 
 
 clergy fleered a third courfe, and aflumed a 
 province, which I could wifh, Mr. Fitz-Adam, 
 was a little connefted with your cenforial au- 
 thority. If you had power to oblige your fair 
 readers and offenders to do penance in clean 
 linen, for almoft wearing no linen at all, I be- 
 lieve it would be an excellent fupplement to your 
 paper of May the 24, 1753. The wifeft exer- 
 cife that I meet recorded of this power of in- 
 fli(3:ing penance, is mentioned by the fame 
 grave author, from whom I copied the will 
 above-mentioned ; It happened in the year 1360, 
 in the cafe of a very exalted perfonage, and 
 fliews how little the higheft birth could exempt 
 from the fevere infpedlion of thofe judges of 
 manners. The lady Elizabeth, daughter of 
 the marquifs of Juliers^ and widow of John 
 Plantaginet earl of Kent, uncle of the princefs 
 Joan before-mentioned, having on the death 
 of the earl her hufband retired to the monaftery 
 of Waverly, did (I fuppofe immediately) make 
 a vow of chaftity, and was folemnly veiled a 
 nun there by William de Edendon, bifhop of 
 Winchefter. Somehow or other it happened, 
 that about eight years afterwards, fifter Eliza- 
 beth 
 
[ 144 ] 
 
 beth of Waverly became enamoured of a goodly 
 knight, called Sir Euftace Dawbridgcourt, 
 fmitten (as tradition fays fhe affirmed) by his 
 extreme refemblance to her late lord ; though as 
 other creditable writers affirm, he was confidcr- 
 ably younger : And notwithftanding her vows 
 of continence, which could not bind her con- 
 fcience, and, in fpite of her confinement, 
 which was not ftrong enough to detain a lady 
 of her great quality, fhe was clandeftinely mar-* 
 ried to her paramour, in a certain chapel of the 
 manfion-houfc of Robert de Brome, a canon 
 of the collegiate church of Wyngham, without 
 any licence from the archbifhop of Canterbury, 
 by one Sir John Ireland, a prieft, before the 
 funrifing, upon Michaelmas-day, in the thirty- 
 fourth of Edward the Third. 
 
 Notwithftanding the great fcandal fuch an 
 indecorum muft have given, it is evident from 
 the fubfervience of two priefts to her defircs> 
 that her rank of princefs of the blood fet her 
 above all apprehenfion of punifhment for the 
 breach of her monaftic vows ; yet it is as evi^ 
 dent from the fequel of the ftory, that her dig- 
 nity 
 
[ U5 3 
 nity could not exempt her from fuch" proper cen- 
 fiires and penalties, as might deter others from 
 commiilion of the like offences ; as might daily 
 and frequently expofe the lady herfelf to blufhes 
 for her mifcarriage ; and as might draw com- 
 fort to the poor, from taxing the inordinate gra- 
 tification of the appetites of their fuperiors : A 
 fort of comfort, which, to do them juftice, 
 the poor are apt to take as kindly, as the relief 
 ,of their own wants. 
 
 My author fays *, that the lady dowager and 
 her young hufband being perfonally convented 
 before the archbifhop of Canterbury for the faid 
 tranfgreflion, at his manor houfe of Haghfeld, 
 upon the feventh ides of April, the archbifhop 
 for their penance enjoined them to find a prieft 
 to celebrate divine fervice daily for Them, the 
 faid Sir Euftace and Elizabeth, and for Him, 
 the archbifhop ; befides a large quantity of peni- 
 tential pfalms, paternoflers and aves, which 
 were to be daily repeated by the priefls and the 
 tranfgreflbrs. His grace moreover ordered the 
 lady Elizabeth, whom for fome reafons befl 
 
 * vol. 2. />. 95. 
 
 U known 
 
I 146 3 
 
 known to himfelf I fuppofe he regarded as the 
 feducer, to go once a year on foot in pilgrimage 
 to the tomb of that glorious martyr, St. Thomas 
 of Canterbury 5 and once every week during 
 her life to faft on bread and drink^ and a mefs of 
 pottage, wearing no fmock, efpecially in the 
 abfence of her hufband ; a penance that nmll: 
 appear whimfical to us, and not a little partial 
 to Sir Euftace, whom the archbifhop feems in 
 more refpevSls than one to have confidered rather 
 as difobedient to the canons, than guilty of 
 much voluptuoufnefs by his wedlock. But the 
 moft remarkable articles of the penance were 
 the two following. The archbifhop appointed 
 the faid fir Euftace and the lady Elizabeth, that 
 the next diay after any repetition of their tranf- 
 greflion had pafled between them, they fhould 
 competently relieve fix poor people, and both of 
 them that day to abftain from fome difh of flefh 
 or fifii, whereof they did moft defire to cat. 
 
 Such was the fimplicity of our anceftors. 
 Such were the wholefome feverities to which 
 the greateft dames and moft licentious young 
 lords were fiibjedl in thofc well-meaning times. 
 
 But 
 
[ H7 ] 
 
 But though I approve the morality of fuch cor- 
 redlions, and perhaps think that a degree of 
 fuch power might be fafely lodged in the hands 
 of our great and good prelates ; yet I am not 
 fo bigotted to antiquity as to approve either the 
 articles of the penance, or to think that they 
 could be reconciled to the difference of modern 
 times and cuftoms. Paternofters and aves might 
 be fupplied by prayers and litanies of a more 
 proteftant complexion. Inftead of a pilgrimage 
 on foot to Canterbury, if an inordinate matron 
 were compelled to walk to Ranelagh, I believe 
 the penance might be fevere enough for the 
 delicacy of modern conftitutions. For the ar- 
 ticle of leaving off a fhift, confidering that the 
 upper half is already laid afide, perhaps to oblige 
 a lady-offender to wear a whole fliift, might be 
 thought a fuificient punifliment ; for w^fe legi- 
 jQators will allow a latitude of interpretation to 
 their laws, to be varied according to the fludiu- 
 ating condition of times and feafons. What 
 moft offends me, as by no means proper for 
 modern imitation, is the article that prefcribes 
 charity to the poor, and a reftriciion from eat- 
 ing of a fai^ourite difli, after the performance of 
 U 2 certain 
 
[ 148 ] 
 
 certain myftcrics. If the right reverend father 
 was determined to make the lady Elizabeth a- 
 fhamed of her incontinence, in truth he lio-hted 
 upon a very adequate expedient, though not a 
 very wife one ; for as devotion and charity are 
 obfervcd to increafe with increafe of years, the 
 bifhop's injundion tended to nothing but to leiTen 
 the benefactions of the offenders as they grew 
 older, by the conditions to which he limited 
 their largefs. 
 
 One can fcarce refleit without a fmile on the 
 troops of beggars waiting ever)'- morning at fir 
 Euflace's gate, till he and his lady arofe, to 
 know whether their wants were to be relieved. 
 One muft not word, but one cannot help ima- 
 gining, the ftyle of a modern footman, when 
 ordered at breakfaft by his maftcr and lady to go 
 and fend away the beggars, for they were to 
 have nothing that morning. One might even 
 fuppofe the good lady pouting a little, as fhe 
 gave him the mcflagc. But were fuch a penance 
 really en'oined now, whsit a fund of humour and 
 wit would it open to people of fafhion, invited 
 to dine with two illuftrious penitents under this 
 circumftancc ! As^/;^/rwit is never indelicate j as 
 
 the 
 
[ H9 ] 
 
 the fubje£l Is incxhauftlble ; and as the Ideas on 
 fuch an occafion muft be a little corporeal, what 
 hons mots^ wrapped up indeed, but Hill intelli- 
 gible enough, would attend the arrival of every 
 new French difli, which fir Euftace or my lady 
 would be concluded to like, and would decline 
 to tafte !— — But I fear I have tranfgrefled the 
 bounds of a letter. You, Mr. Fitz-Adam, who 
 fway the cenforial rod with the greateft lenity, 
 and who would blufh to put your fair penitents 
 to the blufh, might be fafely trufled with the 
 powers I recommend. Human weaknefles, and 
 human follies, are very different : Continue to 
 attack the latter ; continue to pity the former. 
 An ancient lady might refift wearing pink ; a 
 matron who cannot refift the prowefs of a fir 
 Euftace Dawbridgcourt, is not a topic for fatire, 
 but compallion ; as you, who are the beft na- 
 tured writer of the age, will I am fure agree to 
 
 think, with, Sir, 
 
 Tour conjlant reader 
 
 and humble fervanty 
 THOMAS HEARNE, Jun. 
 
 The 
 
[ I5Q ] 
 
 The W O R L D. 
 
 By Adam Fit z-A dam. 
 
 *NuMB. CXCV. Thurfday^ Sept. 23, 175^. 
 
 — Gcnerofius 
 
 Perire qucerens^ nee muliehriter 
 
 Expavit enfem, HoR» 
 
 To Mr. Fitz-Adam. 
 
 SIR, 
 
 TO a wdl-difpofed mind^ there can be no 
 greater fatisfadion than the knowledge 
 that one's labours for the good of the public 
 have been crowned with fuccefs. This, Sir, 
 is remarkably the cafe of your paper of Sept. 
 the 9th, on Suicide ; a fafhionable rage, which 
 I hope you will proceed to expofe ; and I do 
 
 * This paper is a fequel to 'N^ 193, vjritten by 
 J.T. Efq; 
 
 not 
 
•[ 151 ] 
 
 not doubt but you will be as famous for rooting 
 out what, may I be allowed to call, ftngle com^ 
 bat J or the humour of fighting with one's felf, 
 as your predeceflbr The Tatler was for exploding 
 the ridiculous cuftom of duels. The pleafantry 
 of your eflay on the reigning mode of voluntary 
 deaths has preferved to a little neighbourhood 
 a very hofpitable gentleman, to the poor a good 
 friend, to a very deferving foa and daughter a 
 tender parent, and has faved the perfon himfelf 
 from a very foolifh exit. This charader. Sir, 
 which perhaps from a natural partiality I may 
 have drawn a little too amiably, I take to be my 
 own ; and not to trouble you with the hiftory 
 of a man who has nothing remarkable belong- 
 ing to him, I will only let you into what is lb 
 far neceflary, as that I am a gentleman of about 
 fifty, have a moderate eftatc in very good con- 
 dition, have {czn a great deal of the world, and 
 without being weary of it, live chiefly in the 
 country with children whom I love. You will 
 be curious to know what could drive my thoughts 
 to fo defperate a refolution, when I tell you far- 
 tlier, that I hate gaming, have buried my wife, 
 and have no one illnefs. But alas ! Sir, I am 
 
 extremely 
 
t 152 ) 
 
 extremely well-born : Pedigree 13 my dillemper | 
 and having obfei-ved how much the mode of 
 felf-murder prevails among people of rank, I 
 grew to think that there was no living without 
 killing one's felf. I refle6led how many of my 
 great anceftors had fallen in battle, by the axe, 
 or in duels, according as the turn of the feverai 
 ages in which they lived, difpofed of the no- 
 bility ; and I thought the defcendant of fo many 
 heroes muft contrive to perifli by means as vio- 
 lent and illuftrious. What a dil'grace, thouglu 
 I, for the great grandfon of Mowbrays, Veres 
 and Beauchamps to die in a good old age of a 
 fever ! I blufhed whenever I caft my eyes on our 
 
 genealogy in the little parlour 1 determined 
 
 to fhoot my felf. It is true, no man ever had 
 more reluctance to leave the world j and when 
 I went to clean my piilols, every drop of Mow- 
 bray blood in my veins ran as cold as ice. A? 
 my conftitution is good and hearty, I thought 
 it would be time enough to die fuddcnly twenty 
 or thirty years hence ; but happening about a 
 month ago to be near choaked by a fifli bone, 
 I was alarmed for the honour of my family^ and 
 have been ever fmce preparing for death. The 
 
 letter 
 
[ 153 ] 
 
 letter to be left on my table (which indeed coft 
 me fome trouble to compofe, as I had np rea- 
 fon to give for my fudden rejolution) was written 
 out fair, when I read your paper ; and from 
 that minute I have changed my mind \ and 
 though it ftiould be ever fo great a difgrace to 
 my family, I am refolved to live as long and as 
 happily as I can. 
 
 You will no doubt, good Sir, be encouraged 
 from this example to purfue the reformation of 
 this contagious crime. Even in thefmall dif- 
 tri(9: where I live, I am not the only inftance of 
 a propenfity to fiich a cataftrophe. The lord of 
 the manor, whofe fortune indeed is much fu- 
 perior to mine, though there is no comparifon 
 in the antiquity of our families, has had the 
 very fame thought. He is turned of fixty-feven, 
 and is devoured by the ftone ?nJ gout. In a 
 dreadful fit of the former, as his phyfician was 
 fitting by his bedfide, on a fudden his lordfhip 
 ceafed roaring, and commanded his relations 
 and chaplain to withdraw, with a compofure 
 unufual to him even in his beft health ; and 
 putting on the greateft appearance of philofo- 
 X phy. 
 
[ 154 ] 
 
 phy, or what, if the chaplain had ftaid, would 
 have been called refignation, he commanded the 
 do(Sor to tell him, if his cafe was really defpe- 
 rate. The phyfician, with a flow profufion of 
 latinized evafions, endeavoured to elude the 
 queftion, and to give him fome glimmerings of 
 hope, ^' That there might be a chance that the 
 '^ extremity of the pain would occafion a de^ 
 '' gree of fever, that might not be mortal in 
 ** itfelf, but which, if things did not come to a 
 *' crifis foon, might help to carry his lordfhip 
 
 c« off." " I underftand you by G-d," fays 
 
 his lordfhip, with great tranquility and a fcvf 
 
 more oaths > " Yes, d n you, you want ta 
 
 '' kill me with fomc of your confounded diftem- 
 *' pers ; but I'll tell you what, I only afked 
 " you, becaufe if I can't poflibly live, I am de- 
 ^^ termined to kill myfelf; for rot me! if it 
 '' {hall ever be faid that a man of my quality 
 *' died of a curfed natural death. There, tell 
 *^ Boman * to give you your fee, and bid him 
 *' bring me my piftols." However, the fit a* 
 bated, and the neighbourhood is ftill waiting 
 
 * The name of Lord Chalkjione^s gentleman in 
 Lethe. 
 
 with 
 
C 155 1 
 
 with great impatience to be furpr'ized with an 
 account of his lordfliip'^ having fhot himfelf. 
 
 However, Mr. Fitz-Adam, cxtenfive as the 
 fervicc is which you may render to the commu- 
 nity by abolifhing this heathenifli praftice, I 
 think in fomc refpe6ls it is to be treated with 
 tendernefs ; in ono, cafe always to be tolerated. 
 National courage is certainly not at high- water 
 mark : What if the notion of the dignity of 
 felf-murder fhould be indulged till the end of 
 the war ? A man who has refolution enough to 
 kill himfelf, will certainly never dread being 
 killed by any body elfe. It is the privilege of a 
 free-dying Englijhmariy to chufe his death : If 
 any of our high-fpirited notions are cram.ped, 
 it may leaven our whole fund of valour ; and 
 while we are likely to have occafion for all we 
 can exert, I fhould humbly be of opinion, that 
 you permitted felf-murder till the peace, upon 
 this condition, that it fhould be difhonourable 
 for any man to kill himfelf, till he had found 
 that no Frenchman was brave enough to perform 
 that fervice for him, 
 
 «X 2 Indeed 
 
[ 15^] 
 
 Indeed the very celebration of this myftery 
 has been tranfaded hitherto in a manner fome- 
 what mean, and unworthy people of fafhion. 
 No tradefman could hang himfelf more feloni- 
 oufly than our very nobles do. There is none 
 of that open defiance of the laws of their coun- 
 try, none of that contempt for what the world 
 may think of them, which they fo properly wear 
 on other occaftons. They ileal out of the 
 world from their own clofets, or before their 
 fervants are up in a morning. They leave a 
 miferable apology behind them, inftead of fit- 
 ting up all night drinking, till the morning 
 comes for difpatching themfelves : Unlike their 
 great originals, the Romans, who had reduced 
 felf-murder to a fyftem of good-breeding, and 
 ufed to fend cards to their acquaintance to notify 
 their intention. Part of the duty of the week 
 in Rome * was to leave ones name at the doors of 
 fuch as were ftaning themfelves. Particular 
 friends were let in \ and if very intimate, it was 
 even expected that they fhould ufc fome com- 
 mon-place phrafes of diffuafion, I can conceive 
 no foundation for our jfhabby way of bolting 
 into t'other world, but that obfoletc law which 
 
 * VidePlinfs epijlhs. infliib 
 
[ ^S1 1 
 
 iiifilcls a crofs-road and a ftakc on felf-exeeu- 
 tioners : A moft abfurd ftatute ; nor can 1 ima- 
 gine any penalty that would ht effe6lua]> unlefs 
 one could condemn a man who had killed him- 
 felf, to be brought to life again. Somewhere 
 indeed 1 have read of a fuccefsful law for re- 
 ftraining this crime. In fome of the Grectan 
 ftates the women of fafhion incurred the anger 
 
 of Venus 1 quite forget upon what occafion ; 
 
 perhaps for little or none : GoddeiTcs in thofe 
 days were fcarce lefs whimfical than their fair 
 
 votaries Whatever the caufe was, fhc in- 
 
 fpired them with a fury of felf-murder. The 
 legiflature of the country, it feems, thought 
 the refcntment of the deity a little arbitrary ; 
 and to put a flop to the pra(!^ice, devifed an ex- 
 pedient, which one fliould have thought would 
 have been very inadequate to the evil. They 
 ordered the beauteous bodies of the lovely de- 
 linquents to be hung up naked by one foot in 
 the public fquares. How the fair oiFenders came 
 to think this attitude unbecoming, or why they 
 imagined any pofition that discovered all their 
 charms, could be fo, is not mentioned by hif- 
 torians \ nory at this diftance of time, is it pof- 
 
 fiblc 
 
fible for us moderns to gucfs: Certain it isy 
 that the penalty put sl flop to the barbarous 
 cuflom. 
 
 But what fliall one fay to thofe countries, 
 which not only allow this crime, but encour- 
 age it even in that part of the fpecies, whofe 
 foftnefs demands all prote\Stion, and feems moft 
 ^ibhorrent from every thing fanguinary and fierce ? 
 We know there are nations, where the magif- 
 trate gravely gives permiilion to the ladies to 
 accompany their huibands into the other world, 
 and where it is reckoned the greateft profligacy 
 for a widow not to demand leave to burn her- 
 felf alive. Were this fiifhion once to fa^e here, 
 1 tremble to think what havock it would occa- 
 fion. Between the natural propenfity to fuicide, 
 and the violence of conjugal engagements, one 
 fliould not fee fuch a thing as a lozenge, or a 
 widow. Adieu, jointures ! adieu, thofe foft re- 
 fources of the brave and neceflitous ! What un- 
 fortunate relift but would prefer being buried 
 alive to the odious embraces of a fccond pallion ? 
 Indeed, Mr. Fitz-Adam, you muft keep a ftridl 
 eye on our fair country-women. I know one 
 or two, who already wear pocket piflols ; which, 
 
 confidcring 
 
f ^59 1 
 
 confidering the tendernefs of their natures, can 
 only be intended againft their own perfons. 
 And this article leads me naturally to the only 
 cafe, in which, as I hinted above, I think felf- 
 murder always to be allowed. The moft admir- 
 ed death in hiftory is that of the incomparable 
 Lucretia, the pattern of her fex, and the even- 
 tual fbundrefs of Roman liberty. As there 
 never has been a lady fmce that time, in her 
 circumftances, but what has imitated her ex- 
 ample, I think. Sir, I may pronounce the cafe 
 immutably to be excepted : And when Mr. Fitz- 
 Adam, with that fuccefs and glory which al- 
 ways has and muft attend his labours, has de- 
 cried the favage practice in vogue, I am per- 
 fuaded he will declare that fhe is not only ex- 
 cufable, but that it is impoflible any womaij 
 Ihould live after having been ravifhed. 
 
 I am. Sir, 
 
 Tour truly ohllged 
 hwnble fervant^ 
 
 and admirer^ 
 
 H. M. 
 
I i6o ] 
 A 
 
 WORLD 
 
 EXTRAORDINARY. 
 
 * The following paper having been tranf- 
 mitted to Mr. Fitz-Adam's bookfel- 
 ler on the very day of that gentleman's 
 misfortune, he takes the liberty to 
 offer it to the puUic juft as it came to 
 his hand. 
 
 To Mr. Fitz-Adam, 
 SIR, 
 
 AS the contagion of politics has been fo pre- 
 valent of late, that it has even (I won^t 
 fay, iiifccSted, but at leaft) infufed itfelf into the 
 J papers of the impartial Mr. Fitz-Adam, per- 
 
 * It was puhlijljcd after The World had ceajedy 
 on the fuppofed death of the i?nagtnary author. 
 
 X This alludes tol^^ 207, ivhich under borrowed 
 chara^4:rs defcribed a revoluticn in the Minijhy^ 
 very favourably to the D.ofN, and not at allfo to 
 Mr, F. and Mr, P. 
 
 haps 
 
C i6i ] 
 
 haps I may not make him an unacceptable pre- 
 fent in the following piece, which will humour 
 the bent of his diforder (for I muft confider po- 
 litical writings as a diftemper) and at the fame 
 time will cool, not increafe, any fharpnefs in 
 his blood. 
 
 Though the author of this little efTay is re- 
 tired from the bufier fcenes of life, he has not 
 buried himfelf in fuch indifFerence to his coun* 
 try, as to defpife, or not attend to, what is 
 pallino- even in thofe fcenes he has quitted ; and 
 having withdrawn from inclination, not from 
 difguft, he preferves the fame attachments that 
 he formerly made, though contracted even then 
 from efteem, not from intereft. He fees with 
 a feeling concern the diftreffes and diftraftions 
 of his country ; he forefees with anxiety the 
 confequences of both. He laments the difcord 
 that divides thofe * men of fuperior genius, 
 whofe union, with all their abilities, were per- 
 haps inadequate to the crifls of our affairs. He 
 does not prefume to difcufs the grounds of their 
 diflentions, which he wifhes themfelves to over- 
 look ; and he would be one of the laft men in 
 
 * Mn R and Mr. P. 
 
 Y England 
 
[ I6i J 
 
 England to foment divifion, where his intereft 
 ^s a Briton, and his private inclinations as a 
 man, bid him hope for coalition. Yet he 
 would not be a man, he might be a ftoic, if 
 even thefe inclinations were equally balanced : 
 His admiration may be fufpended, his heart will 
 be partial. From thefe fenfations he has been 
 naturally led to lament and condemn the late 
 torrent of perfonalities : He fees with grief the 
 . greateft chara\Slers treated with the greateft li- 
 centioufnefs : His friendfhip has been touched 
 at finding one of the moft refpeftable afpcrfcd 
 in the moft injurious manner. He holds That 
 perfon's fame as much fuperior to reproach, as 
 he thinks himfelf inferior to That perfon's de- 
 fence ; and yet he cannot help giving his tcfti- 
 mony to the reputation of a man, with whofe 
 friendfhip he has long been honoured. This 
 ambition, Sir, has occafioned my troubling you 
 .with the following portrait, written eight years 
 ago; defigned then as private incenfe to an 
 honoured name ; and ever fmce preferved by the 
 author only, and in the fair hands to which it 
 was originally addrefled. I will detain you no 
 longer than to fay, that if this little piece fliould 
 
 was 
 
[ ^^3 J 
 
 be accufed of flattery, let it be remembered, ^ 
 that it was written when the fubjed: of it was 
 no minifter of ftate, and that it is publifhed 
 now (and ftiould not elfe have been publifhed) 
 when he is no minifter at all. 
 / am^ Sir, 
 
 Tour humble fervant^ 
 H. M. 
 
 To THE Right Honourable 
 
 Lady Caroline Fox. 
 
 Madam, 
 
 I Have been attempting to draw a pi£l:ure of 
 one of your friends, and think I have in 
 fome degree fucceeded^ but as I fear natural 
 partiality may make me flatter myfelf, I choofe 
 to fubmit to your ladyfliip's judgment, whofe 
 prepofleflion for the perfon reprefented is likely 
 to balance what fondnefs I may have for my 
 own performances. As I believe you love the 
 perfon in queftion, as much as ever other people 
 love themfelves, the medium between the faults 
 Y 2 yoii 
 
[ i64] 
 
 you (hall find, and the juft refeniblance that I 
 fee In the following portrait, is likely to be an 
 exact image. 
 
 The gentleman I am drawing is about * three 
 and forty : As you fee all the fondnefs and deli- 
 cacy and attention of a lover in him, perhaps 
 your ladyfhip may take him to be but three 
 and twenty : But I, whofe talent is not flattery, 
 and who from his judgment and experience and 
 authority, jQiould at firft fet him down for three- 
 fcore, upon the ftridteft enquiry can only allow 
 him to be in the vigour of his age and under- 
 ilanding. His perfon decides rather on my fide, 
 for though he has all the eafe and amiablenefs 
 of youth, yet your ladyfliip mufl: allow that it 
 has a dignity, which youth might aim at in 
 Vain, and for which it will fcarce ever be ex- 
 changed. If I were like common painters, I 
 fhould give him a ruddy healthful complexion, 
 ' and light up his countenance with infipid fmiles 
 and unmeaning benignity : But this would not 
 be a faithful portrait : A florid bloom ^vould no 
 more give an idea of him, than his bended brow 
 at firil lets one into the vaft humanity of his 
 
 * This was written in the year 1748. 
 
 temper 5 
 
[ ^(>5 ] 
 
 temper ; or than an. undiftinguifhing fmile would 
 fupply the place of his manly curiofity and pene- 
 tration. To paint him with a chearful open 
 countenance would be a poor return of com- 
 pliment for the flattery that his approbation be- 
 ftows, which, by not being promifed, doubly 
 fatisfies one's felf-love. The merit of others is 
 degrading to their friends ; the gentleman I 
 mean makes his worth open upon you, by per- 
 fuading you that he difcovers fome in you. 
 
 He has that true charafteriftic of a great 
 man, that he is fuperior to others in his pri- 
 vate, focial^ unbended hours. I am far from 
 meaning by this fuperiority, that he exerts the 
 force of his genius unneceflarily : On the con- 
 trary, you only perceive his preheminence in 
 thofe moments by his being more agreabiy 
 goodnatured, and idle with more eafe, than 
 other people. He feems inquifitive, as if his 
 only bufmefs were to learn ; and is unreferved, 
 as if he were only to inform ; and is equally in- 
 capable of myftery in pretending to know what 
 he does not, or in concealing what he does. 
 
 In the houfe of commons he was for fom^ 
 lime an ungraceful and unpopular fpeak^r, the 
 
 abundance 
 
[ x66 ] 
 
 abundance of his matter overflowing his elocu- 
 tion : But the force of his reafoning has pre- 
 vailed both over his own defecSs and thofe of 
 his audience. He fpeaks with a ftrength and 
 perfpicuity of argument that commands the ad- 
 miration of an age apt to be more cheaply 
 pleafed. But his vanity cannot fatisfy itfelf on 
 the terms it could fatisfy others ; nor would he 
 thank any man for his approbation, unlefs he 
 were confcious of deferving it. But he carries 
 this delicacy ftill farther, and has been at the 
 idle labour of making himfelf fame and honours 
 by purfuing a regular and fteady plan, when art 
 and eloquence would have carried him to an 
 equal height, and made thcfe fear him, who 
 
 now only love him if a party can love a 
 
 man who they fee is only connected with them 
 by principles, not by prejudices. 
 
 In another light one may difcover another lit- 
 tlenefs in his condufl: : In the affairs of his office f 
 he is as minute and as full of application as if 
 he were always to remain in the fame poft ; and 
 as exacSl and knowing as if he always had been 
 in it. He is as attentive to the follicitation and 
 interefts of others in his province, as if he were 
 
 t Secretary of war, making 
 
1 167 ] 
 
 making their fortune, not his own ; and to the 
 great detriment of the miniftry, has turned one 
 of the beft fine cures under the government into 
 one of the moft laborious employments, at the 
 fame time imagining that the eafe with which he 
 executes it, will prevent a difcovery of the inno- 
 vation. He receives all officers who addrefs 
 to him with as little pride as if he were fecurc 
 of innate nobility 5 yet this defe6i: of illuftrious 
 birth is a blemiih, which fome of the greateft 
 men have wanted to make them compleatly great : 
 Tully had it ; had the happinefs and glory of 
 raifing himfelf from a private > condition ^ but 
 boafting of it, might as well have been noble : 
 He degraded himfelf by ufurping that preroga- 
 tive of nobility^ pride of what one can neither 
 caufe nor prevent. 
 
 I fay nothing of his integrity, bccaufe I know 
 nothing of it, but that it has never been breath- 
 ed upon even by fufpicion : It will be time enough 
 to vindicate it, when it has been impeached. He 
 is as well-bred as thofe who colour over timidity 
 with gentlenefs of manners, and as bravely fincere 
 as thofe who take, or would have brutality taken 
 for honefty 5 but though his greateft freedom is 
 
 polite, 
 
[ i68 j 
 
 polite, his greateft condefcenfion is dignified 
 with fplrit ; and he can no more court his ene- 
 mies, than relax in kindnefs to his friends. Yet 
 though he has more fpirit than almoft any man 
 living, it is never looked upon as flowing from 
 his paffions, by the intimate connection that it 
 always preferv^es with his underftanding. Yet 
 his paffions are very ftrong : He loves play, wo- 
 men more, and one woman more than all. The 
 amiabknefs of his behaviour to her, is only 
 
 equalled by hers to him But as your ladyfhip 
 
 would not know a pi£l:ure of this charming wo- 
 man, when drawn with all her proper graceful 
 virtues ; and as that engaging ignorance might 
 lead you even Into an uncertainty about the por- 
 trait of the gentleman, I (hall lay down my 
 pencil, and am, 
 
 Madam, 
 
 Your LADYSHIP'i 
 
 77ioJi obedletit 
 
 hii?nble fo'Vant^ 
 
 VANDYKK. 
 
The W O R L D^. 
 
 By Adam Fitz-Adam. 
 
 *' I can7iot hut think we Jhould have more Lectrnlng^ 
 *' if iVe had fewer books, '^ 
 
 Preface to Baker's Refleftions^ 
 
 THE lovers of Litterature, whofe pafliort 
 for books, is at leafl: as great as it is 
 laudable, lament the lofs of the Alexandrian 
 library, which is faid to have contained {^w^n 
 hundred thoufand volumes. Immeafurable as 
 this lofs was, time and induftry have prodi- 
 gioufly repaired it ; and if I might efcape being 
 thought an abfolute Goth, I fliould humbly be 
 of opinion, that the deftrudlion of that library 
 was rather a blefling than a detriment to the 
 
 * The two following papers were not puhlijhed^ 
 the plan not having been compUated, 
 
 Z Common- 
 
[ ^7o I 
 
 Common-wealth of Letters. What may we 
 fuppofe thofe io many thoufand volumes contain- 
 ed ? Were kven hundred thoufand volumes aU 
 Worth reading ? If they were, who would have 
 leifure to read them ? If they were not, at leaft 
 as many as were good for nothing, have happilv 
 met with a proper fater Thefe books, we > may 
 fuppofe, contained great treafures of Philofophy, 
 Aftronomy, Geography, Hiftory, Poetry, Ora- 
 tory, Mathematics, tafc. mighty entertaining 
 novels, and a wonderful mafs of knowledge re- 
 lating to, and explanatory of, or perhaps more 
 beautifully perplexing, the theory of Egyptian 
 divinity and hieroglyphics. One can hardly be- 
 lieve, though it contained greater quantities of 
 ancient fcience and eloquence than what have 
 reached our days, that this library was replenifli- 
 ed with authors of fuperior knowledge, or with 
 greater difcoveries, than we have received from 
 our other venerable predeceflbrs. And do we 
 wifh for more fabulous hiftory, for more fantaf- 
 tic philofophy, for more imperfect aftronomy, 
 for more blundering geography, than we already 
 poflefs under ancient names ? I fpeak not in de- 
 rogation of the-Ancients > but as their difcove^ 
 
 ries 
 
1 171 ] 
 
 Ties were very incomplete, and their traditions 
 very inaccurate, why do we wifli they were 
 multiplied ? When wc refle6l, that half our pre- 
 fent knowledge has fprung from difcovering the: 
 errors of what had formerly been called by that 
 jiame^ we may comfort ourfelves that the in- 
 veftigation of Truth is at leaft as eafy without 
 fo many falfe lights to mifguide us, as if we 
 knew how many more wrong conjectures had 
 been fHade by our forefathers. 
 
 Not to mention how enormouily this library 
 would have procreated other libraries ! What 
 tranflations, commentaries, explanations, fcbo- 
 
 liaa, various readings, paraphrafes nay, what 
 
 controverfies would have been engendered by 
 almoft every volume in this capacious repofitory? 
 Ariftotle alone, whofe works, or at leaft fuch 
 as are called his, are happily extant, was in fo 
 great repute about two centuries ago, that no 
 lefs than twelve thoufand authors are computed 
 to have commented or wiitten upon his works : 
 And though the Alexandrian authors might none 
 of them have founded fuch numerous (e6ls, yet 
 confidering the veneration paid to whatever is 
 Z 2 ancienjt 
 
[ 172 J 
 ancient, or to whatever is called Learning, 
 there can be no doubt but the exiftencc of that 
 departed library would have multiplied books to 
 a degree, which even the hardeft ftudents might 
 have beheld with regret ; as few are mafters of 
 fuch ftrength of eyes and conftitution, or of fuch 
 extended lives as to be able to fatiate their cu- 
 ribfity in fuch an ocean of litterature, let in 
 upon the already immenfe deluge of fcience. 
 Some men indeed have been fuch giants in ftudy, 
 as to conquer Greece, Rome, Arabia, Perfia, 
 and even thofe imprafticable ftrangers, the 
 Cophti : Some are renowned for reading fixteen 
 or eighteen hours a day ; and one great Hero of 
 the republic of letters boafted that he had fo en- 
 tirely exhaufted all knowledge, that he was now 
 reduced to read the hiftory of the Highwaymen. 
 But few are there now, alas, of fuch vigour ! 
 Few refemble the great AccuiTius, who boafted 
 that he had corrected (even hundred errors in 
 Claudian as he rode poft through Germany. 
 
 To fay the truth, we have not only enough 
 of ancient books, but are far overftocked with 
 both ancient and modern, confidering either 
 liov/ little is read, or how impoffible it is to read 
 
 all 
 
[ 173 ] 
 
 ill that has already been written. In the latter- 
 refpe6l, modern authors are far more excufable - 
 than modern readers. The authors write for the 
 prefent hour, becaufe they are not fure that to- . 
 morrow they fhall be read : But as to readers, 
 who are continually demanding new books, 1 • 
 Ihould humbly fuggeft, that all books, however, 
 long ago they were written, are to all intents 
 and purpofes, new books to fuch as ne\Tr read 
 them. People do not generally know what re-" 
 fervoirs of knowledge and pleafure are ailually 
 in being : There is no fubje6l, on which there 
 are not already extant books enough to employ 
 all the idle hours of thofe idle people who arc 
 in daily want of fomething new: Perhaps it 
 may not be exaggeration to fay, that the only 
 old books, are fuch as are publifhed every day. 
 The mere catalogue of the Bodleian library- 
 compofes four volumes in folio : The Vatican is 
 ftill larger. The fmgle Bangorian ccntrovcriy,- 
 at one, two fhillings, or half a crown a pamph- 
 let, coft upwards of thirty pounds : But thefe 
 pieces, with others of the like nature, have I 
 believe long ago been gathered to their fore- 
 fathers, the Alexandrians. I'he journals of 
 
 the 
 
[ ^74] 
 
 the war between the moft ferene Princefs Can-* 
 Tiingy and the Egyptian Sultana, Mary Squires, 
 make no inconfiderable figure in modern libra- 
 ries ; and the important point of the reftoration 
 of Judaifm added confiderable recruits to the 
 clafles of hiftory and polemic Divinity. One 
 Ferri wrote eleven hundred fermons on the epiftle 
 to the Hebrews. Other laborious authors have 
 been fo puzzled to find out new fubjecSs, or at 
 leaft fo determined to write new books, that 
 they have compofed catalogues of the different 
 denominations of authors, or of fuch as have 
 written under particular circumftances. Baillet 
 not only publiflied an account of " Jnti'sy that 
 is, of fuch books as were written againft others, 
 but he undertook a work, in which he propofed 
 to give a defcription of fuch books as had been 
 intended to be written. Naude collevSed a lift 
 of authors who had difguifed their names ; and 
 another of great men who had been accufcd of 
 magic* Decker compofed an account of anony- 
 mous writings : Pierius Valerianus gave one 
 catalogue of unfortunate learned men, and ano- 
 ther of phyficians who were poets : Kortkolt, 
 
 * The latcjl work of this kind is the Catalogue 
 $/ Royal and Noble Authors of 
 
 ^i 
 
[ ^15 ] 
 of bifhops who had been poets ; and Menage, 
 of ecclefiaftics who had written bawdy poems. 
 AncIIlon was ftill more curious, for he made a 
 catalogue of learned men who had written no- 
 thing at all. Hottinger, another grave trifler^ 
 has two whole pages filled only with names of 
 thofe who correfponded with him ; and fome 
 years ago there was a French * Abbe who com* 
 menced author upon a very new ftock ; by writ- 
 ing an account of fuch authors as had prefented 
 him with their writings. The greateft wonder 
 is, that none of thefe laborious compilers fhould 
 have pretended to give a relation of fuch books 
 as have long fince perifhed, though their authors 
 had, like Horace and Ovid, afTured the world 
 and themfelves that their works would be im- 
 mortal. But one need not go an hundred years 
 back to give inftances of the exceflive increafe 
 of authors : The gazettes, novels, lives, dying 
 fpeeches, magazines, diftionaries of our own 
 days, are flagrant proofs of my aflertion. In- 
 deed if the rage of publication continues in the 
 fame propotion, I do not fee but all the world 
 muft be books ; and that it will become as ne- 
 ceflary to burn a field of books, as a field of 
 * Abhi de MarolUs. furze 
 
[ I/^ ] 
 
 furze or ftubble. The very means employed to 
 leflen the abufc, is an increafe of It : I mean, 
 all fcienccs are {o over written, that the very 
 abridgments are an additional evil. 
 
 I can eafily conceive that a Chlnefe or In- 
 dian, hereafter vifiting Europe, may acquaint 
 one of his correfpondents, in the hyperbolic 
 ftyle of the Eaft, " That it is exceeding diffi- 
 *' cult to travel In thefe countries, by reafon of 
 " vaft vi^afte trads of land, v^hrch they call 
 '^ libraries^ which being very little frequented, 
 '^ and lying uncultivated, occafion a ftagnation 
 '^ of bad and unwholefome air ; that ncverthe- 
 '^ lefs, the inhabitants, fo far from dt-ftroving 
 *^ or rooting out what they fo little either life 
 •^ or efteem, are continually extending thefe 
 ** deferts ; that even fome of the natives who 
 <* have waded farther than ordinary into thefe 
 *^ forefls, are fond and proud of tranfplanting 
 *^ out of one part into another, and though they 
 '^ are fare that their own labours will be choaked 
 *^ up the next day by fome of their neighbours, 
 <* they go on in their idle toil, and flatter them- 
 •* felves with the hopes of immortality for having 
 
 " contributed 
 
[^77 1 
 
 <^ contributed to extend a wildernefs, into which 
 '^ nobody thinks it worth his while to penetrate. 
 <' There are indeed fome who for fear of lofing 
 '' their way in the vaft foreft of learning, where 
 f ' it is pretended that every tree is a tree of 
 " knowledge, have endeavoured to perAiade 
 *' their countrymen to pluck up all root and 
 *' branch, excepting one or two favorite trunks, 
 '' from which they pretend all knowledge may be 
 *' gathered, in which all arts and fciences are in- 
 f ' eluded. Indeed they do not totally agree upon 
 ** which are the authors who thus contain all 
 *' erudition. One party pretend it is their Al- 
 ^'coran; the other, an ancient poet called Ho- 
 ^' mer: The former feem to ftudy their religion 
 *' with a poetic imagination ; the latter are as 
 *' ready to fight for their opinion, as if it was a 
 
 *' religious enthufiafm."-- But not to dwell 
 
 too long in the perfon of an imaginary future 
 fatirift, I (hall revert to my firft propofition, 
 that there arc already books enough, if the 
 world is really difpofed to read ; and that both, 
 regret for old perifhed authors, which we do not 
 know whether they were good or bad, and 
 appetite for new books, which we do not care 
 A a • whether 
 
[ 178 ] 
 
 whether they are good or bad, are equally marks 
 of a falfe vitiated tafte. The former lamenta- 
 tions were agreeable to the pedantry of the laft 
 age, when provided a man did but write pure 
 claflic Latin, it mattered not how trifling and 
 ridiculous were the topics. Scaliger and Car- 
 dan, two great potentates in the empire of learn- 
 ing, had a profound difpute whether Parrots 
 were ugly creatures or not ; and both ufed in 
 great abundance thofe annoying weapons of abufe, 
 which were fo much in vogue with the litterati 
 of that age : I may perhaps have occafion in 
 another paper to give fome account of the fcur- 
 rilous wars which were formerly waged by the 
 graveft profeflbrs in moft of the univerfities and 
 fchools from Siena to Leyden. The fondnefs 
 pf the moderns for books, books, new books-, 
 puts me in mind of certain country gentlemen, 
 neighbours of Balzac, who made him a vifit, 
 and after a thoufand fpeeches, aflured him that 
 it was incredible how great a veneration they 
 had for him and Mejfteurs fes Livres. 
 
 The 
 
■[ ^79] 
 
 The WORLD. 
 
 By Adam Fitz-Adam. 
 
 IN my laft paper, I hinted at fome of the in- 
 conveniences attending the prefent innunda- 
 tion of books, and I have the fatisfadlion of 
 hearing from all hands that a reformation of 
 this abufc would be univerfally acceptable. 
 Some of the greateft devourers of books, from 
 whom I expefted moft oppofition, have exhorted 
 me to proceed in the fcheme I have conceived 
 of leflening the number, afluring me that they 
 have laid in fuch a ftock of fcience, as will en- 
 able them to furnifti the world with complete 
 bodies of all ufeful knowledge, in a far lefs com* 
 pafs than in what it lies at prefent. The illite* 
 rate part of my difciples proteft that it Is nothing 
 but the prodigious number of books which deters 
 them from fetting about to ftudy in earneft, and 
 they offer me if I will reduce all 1 literature to 
 A a 2 a few 
 
C ^8o ] 
 
 a few plays, poems and novels, to make them- 
 felves perfect matters of all the knowledge that 
 is requifite for gentlemen. I have long been 
 fenfible how great a difcouragement the very 
 fight of a large library muft be to a young be- 
 ginner. The univerfities recommend to me to 
 abolifh what is called polite learning : They ob- 
 ferve, that the Jefuits, who among many per- 
 nicious arts, have fometimes been ferviceable to 
 the world, have already as far as in them lay, 
 annihilated one Roman author, Lixan, by 
 omitting him, when they illuflrated all the other 
 claffics for the ufe of the Dauphin ; but I be- 
 lieve the objection lay not againft his poetry, 
 but his principles, the freedom of which I am 
 fure muft be very agreeable to each good Lady 
 Jlma Mater, One of them, who formerly 
 placed Mr. Lock's Eflay on Human Uiiderftand- 
 ing in her Index Expurgatorius, has very pru- 
 dently recognized the merit of that treatife 
 
 and I am perfuaded, has fuch a veneration for 
 the author, that She would highly condemn mc 
 if I was even to attempt deftroying his EiTay 
 on Government, wherein he expofes the 
 monkifli doctrine of hereditary right. 
 
 Armed 
 
[ tSi ] 
 
 Armed with dl the above-mentioned authori- 
 ties, I declare myfelf invefted with a new dig-^ 
 nity, namely, Inqutfitor of the World of Books ; 
 and in imitation of other great potentates, who 
 after eftablifning their dominion by force, have 
 endeavoured to fatisfy the world in the legality 
 of their title by fome, however far-fetched, de- 
 fcent, J declare myfelf iffued in a right line from 
 the two peculiar mpnarchs, who of all mankind 
 could derive to me the beift title to the province 
 I have undertaken of pronouncing upon all 
 books and fciences, and in conlequence af that, 
 of proceeding to burn and defl-roy fuch as I fliall 
 difapprove. The firft of thefe princes, was the 
 very patriarch of my genealogy, even Adam, 
 who as Pinedo, a very competent j udge, afTures 
 
 us, underftood all fciences, but politics -and 
 
 his deficience in this particular branch of human 
 learning, was not to be afcribed to any imper- 
 fection in the univerfality of his genius, but 
 merely becaufe in his time, there were no princes, 
 no embafladors, no Ratifbon. The other prince 
 from whom I have the honour of being defcend- 
 ed, was Chi Hoang Ti, Emperor of China, a 
 
 much 
 
much injured name, of whom Perc du Halde in 
 particular, forgetting the refpeil due to crowned 
 heads, is fo grofs as to fay that a certain ordi- 
 nance of his, which I am going to mention, 
 renditfon nom ^ fa me?noire execrable a la pojierit}* 
 The venerable decree which this impertinent 
 
 Jcfuit anathematizes, was not, as one fhould 
 
 think by his ftyle, an order like Herod's for the 
 
 murder of the innocents no, it was only a 
 
 decree for burning all the books in China. But 
 before I enter upon the difcuilion of this decree, 
 I fhall in few words re-capitulate the chief 
 events of my anceftor's reign, which will vin- 
 dicate his memory, and prove him to have been 
 as well qualified to fway a fcepter as any prince 
 that ever fat on a throne. If unavoidable mif- 
 fortunes have reduced Us to a lefs fliining, lefs 
 exalted rank. We flatter ourfelves that the pru- 
 dence and juftice of our adminiftration in the 
 univerfal monarchy which We have afTumed 
 over follies and books^ will fhow that We have 
 not degenerated from our great predeccilbr. 
 
 Chi Hoang Ti lived about two hundred 
 and thirty feven years before Chrift, and accord- 
 ing 
 
[ J83 ] 
 
 ing to the genius of that ag« committed great 
 conquefts, and rounded his dominions, at the 
 expence of his neighbours, with as much pru- 
 dence as if he had ftudied politics in a French 
 fchool. The only flip he feems to have made^ 
 was in liftening to the project of a fea-captain, 
 the Columbus of his time, who advifcd his 
 Chinefe Majefty to fend out a colony to fome 
 of the iflands of Japan, not indeed to difcover 
 new worlds, but on a more important fccnt, 
 a remedy for long life ; a noftrum treafured up 
 in one of thofe little iflands. The Emperor, 
 my Great Grand-father, had, as it appears by 
 other circumftances, a particular partiality for 
 medicines, and readily gave ear to a fcheme that 
 was at once to prolong the bleflings of his reign 
 over his fubjefts, and to add fo great a jewel to 
 his difpenfatory. He entrufted the Captain with 
 one or more fhips, and three hundred perfons 
 of each fex, with whom the Adventurer founded 
 a little kingdom in one of the iflands, and was 
 fo ungrateful as never to fend his Sovereign a 
 fingle phial of the precious elixir. The Em- 
 peror, whofc mind was always filled with great 
 projects, foon turned his thoughts to eflablifh 
 
 the 
 
[ l84 ] 
 
 the duration, If not of his reign, at leaft of his 
 empire, and with a fpirit, which has feeme4 
 prophetic, apprehending incurfions of the Tar^ 
 tars, he {iit about building that immenfe wall to 
 divide the two nations, which v/as finiflied in 
 five years, which exifts to our days, and which 
 did not however anfwer the purpofe for which 
 it was projefted. The next great action of his 
 reign was publifhing the celebrated decree for 
 burning all the books in China, excepting only 
 fuch volumes as treated of Architefture or Phyfic, 
 the two fciences, which the affair of the fea- 
 captain and the eredlion of the great wall, prove 
 to have been the predominant paflions ot his 
 Imperial Majefty. 
 
 Some malevolent hiftorians afcribe this kn- 
 tence to his jealoufy of the glory of his prede- 
 ceiTors ; a motive unworthy of the heroic virtue 
 of a prince, who had out-conquered, out-built, 
 and taken more phyfic than any of his anceftors. 
 Such petty envy may rage in litt/e fouls : We 
 read that Juftin burnt all the authors from 
 whom he compiled his hiftory ; and that Tre^ 
 bonian, the lawyer, commiflioned by Juftinian 
 
 to 
 
[ i85 ] 
 
 to reduce the civil law to a pracSicabllity, that iSj 
 to a fize capable of being ftudied by the profef- 
 fors, and underflood by the fufFerers, laid wafte 
 and demolifhed the volumes, tra6i:s, charters, 
 , decrees, pleadings, reports, &c, from whence 
 he extrafted the body of civil lavp' as it now 
 ftands. But the reafons which our great ancef- 
 tor himfelf vouchfafed to give, are, I do not 
 doubt, the trueft, as they certainly are the 
 nobleft precedent to juftify a parallel proceeding. 
 He reduces them to thefe (for it muft be obferved, 
 that the Chinefe are as laconic as the Lacedae- 
 monians themfelves) Booh, faid Chi Hoang Ti, 
 encourage idlenefs, coiije negleSf cf agriculture^ lay 
 foundations of faSiions. Thefe golden rules I 
 fhall keep in my eye to regulate my future con- 
 duel, I fhall not allow people to think they 
 are bufy becaufe they are reading ; I fliall not 
 allow that there is any merit in having read a 
 vaft number of books ; it is indifferent to me 
 whether a man's feet have travelled over fo many 
 miles of ground, or his eyes over fo many acres 
 of paper: I fliall recommend it to feveral grave 
 dignitaries to lay afide all fuch reading as was 
 never read, and to buy a plough and a team, and 
 B b cultivate 
 
[ i86 ] 
 
 cultivate a piece of land, inflead of labouring 
 fuch barren foil as their own brains, or the works 
 of obfolcte authors ; and I fhall be for entirely 
 abolifhing all books whatever that treat of any 
 kind of government ; as to be fure no nation 
 ought to know that there is any form preferable to 
 what is eftablifhed among themfelves : A Ruffian 
 that was to read Algernon Sidney, might grow 
 to fancy that there are milder fyftems than living 
 under the jurifdidlion of the Knut ! 
 
 The laft inftance I fliall produce of the Chi- 
 nefe Monarch's wifdom, was his refufmg to 
 "quarter out his dominions among his fons. He 
 died in peace, and mafter of immenfe treafures, 
 having lived to fee large crops of Ricfy from 
 vaft trails of land, which before his time had 
 born nothing but Libraries* 
 
 In the havoc I meditate, I fhall confine my- 
 felf to whole bodies of fcience, not piddle with 
 fingle authors, or feperate trcatifes. As I have 
 perufed very few books myfelf, it would be ah 
 cndlefs tafk were I to fet about the examination 
 of what trafls do or do not deferve to be con- 
 demned to the flames, and I have too little of 
 
 the 
 
[187 1 
 
 the modern critic in me, to condemn any private 
 work, becaufe I happen to diflike the name, 
 perfon, or country of the author. However, 
 not to proceed too rafhly, I fliall accept the 
 affiftance of a friend of mine, who is a prodigy 
 of erudition, not only from the quantity he has 
 read, but from his franknefs in owning that he 
 has read an infinite deal of trafli. He is a neat 
 relation by the mother of the celebrated librae 
 rian Magliabechi, who being afked to lend a 
 certain book (that muftbe namelefs) out of the 
 Great Duke's library, replied, *' That book ! 
 *' there is no fuch book in our library ; indeed! 
 *^ know of but one copy of it, and that is in- 
 *' the Grand Signior's colleftion ; it ftands the 
 *' fixth book on the fourth fhelf on the left 
 ♦^ hand near the window." 
 
 My friend's name is Christopher Poly- 
 OtOT ; a man of extreme benevolence, and 
 very ufeful to all that confult him, though to 
 fay the truth, his knowledge is of little fervice 
 to himfelf, for when he attempts to compofe any 
 work himfelf, the ideas of what he has read, 
 tranfmitted through a very faithful memory, flow 
 B b 2 in 
 
[ 1 88 1 
 
 in fo fafl: upon him, that he blends every fcicnce 
 and every language, and does not even diftin- 
 guifh in v/hat tongue he defigns to write. He 
 but tvv^o or three years ago intending to v^rite a 
 pamphlet againft the Jew bill, began in thefc 
 words, '' JosEPHUS fays^ that Oi la^cnoi eversd 
 urbe-iri^iifif^ontolent leurs l^HBD^IX," and I faw him 
 one morning extremely puzzled with not being 
 able to underftand a Greek author, whom he 
 did not perceive that he was reading backv/ards. 
 He is very fenfible of his misfortune, and fays, 
 he believes he might have made fome figure in 
 the republic of Letters, if he had never read 
 above twenty thoufand books, and underftood 
 but fix or feven languages. One great merit of 
 my friend is, that he has a thorough contempt 
 for conjedlural antiquities ; no body honours 
 more than he does, the elegance of the Greek 
 arts, the fumptuoufnefs of Rom.an buildings, 
 the valour and wifdom of our Gothic anceftors, 
 and confequently no body admires more any 
 remnant of each nation, which is entire enough 
 to difclofe their tafte, their magnificence, the 
 ftrength of their fortifications, or the folcmnity 
 of their devotion. But Mr. Polyglot defpifcs 
 
 a platform. 
 
[ i89 ] 
 
 a platform, nay a Stonehenge, if It is uncer- 
 tain whether it's pedigree be Roman, Druid or 
 Saxon ; whether in it's ftate of exiftence it was 
 an intrenchment, a temple, or a tomb. In his 
 youth he was a tormentor of Tom Hearne, and 
 before his own mind was bewildered in fcience, 
 had a pretty turn for poetry, as appeared by his 
 adding two lines to the known diftich on that 
 Antiquary, and which really gave the whole the 
 effence of an Epigram. I fhall conclude the 
 prefent paper with them, as I do not know that 
 they were ever printed. 
 
 <' Pox on't, quoth Time to Thomas Hearne, 
 *' Whatever I forget, You learn." 
 
 Anfwer hy Mr. Polyglot. 
 *' * Damn it, quoth Hearne, in furious ^rzty 
 *^ Whatever I learn. You foon forget. 
 
 * It luas written at ChriJi^Chitrchy Cambridge^ 
 hy Richard Wejl Efq ; a young gentleman of great 
 genius^ who died at the age of twenty-fix. He 
 was fan of Mr, TVeJi^ Lord Chancellor of Ireland^ 
 hy Elizabeth^ daughter of Bijhop Burnet, 
 
It '91 ] 
 
 A 
 
 LETTER 
 
 FROM 
 
 X O H O, a Chinese 
 
 Philosopher at London*, 
 To HIS Friend 
 
 LIEN CHI at PEKING. 
 
 I Have told thee, this people arc incomprc- 
 henfible ; not only they differ from us j they 
 arc unlike the reft of the weftcrn world : A 
 Frenchman has prejudices, has caprices; but 
 they are the prejudices of his nation, they are 
 
 * This piece was written May 12, jyS7^ ^^^ 
 ftnt to the prefs next day, and went through five 
 editions in a fortnight* 
 
 the 
 
[ 192 ] 
 
 the caprices of his age. A Frenchman has 
 fettled ideas, though built on falfe foundations ; 
 an Englifhman has no fixed ideas : His preju- 
 dices are not of his country, .but againft feme 
 particular parts or maxims of his country : His 
 caprices are his own; they are the eflential 
 proofs of his liberty. In France they have a 
 high notion of their Kingj they will Jiah him, 
 but they will nbt hate him. An Englifhman 
 loves or hates his King once or twice in a win- 
 ter, and -that for no reafon, but becaufe he 
 loves or hates the Miniftry in being. They do 
 not oppofe, their King from diflike of royal 
 power, but to avail themfelves of his power ; 
 they try; to level it till they cain mount upon it. 
 They are as little in earneft about liberty. To 
 have the nation free ! No body means it. To 
 have the country enflaved j they defire it not : 
 Were there vaflals, they would be the vaflals 
 of the Crown, or of the Nobles ; while all are 
 free to fell their liberty^ the richeft or crafticfl 
 may purchafe it. 
 
 I have faid, that they have no general ideas; 
 they have; pot ^ but they have general names. 
 
 Formerly 
 
[ ^93 I 
 
 Formerly they had two parties ; now they have 
 three faftions, and each of thofe fa£lior.s has * 
 fomething of the name, or fomething of the 
 principles of each of thofe parties. In my laft- 
 I told thee, that the fecond facSion in magnitude 
 had difplaced the leaft fadlion, and that a new 
 Miniftry would immediately be appointed. I 
 deceived thee ; I was deceived. I did not be- 
 lieve fo becaufe I was told fo : Here one is told 
 fomething every day ; the people demand to be 
 told fomething, no matter what : If a politi- 
 cian, a minifter, a member of their aflembly 
 was myfterious and refufed to impart fomething 
 to an enquirer, he would make an enemy : If 
 he tells a lie, it is no offence; he is communi- 
 cative ; that is fufEcient to a free people : All 
 they afk is news ; a falfehood is as much news 
 as truth. Why I believed a Miniftry would foon 
 be named, was ; I thought that in a countiy 
 where the whole real bufinefs of their general 
 Aflembly was to chufe Minifters, they could 
 never be without : I was deceived. I thought 
 that when a Prince difmifled one Minifter, he 
 would take another : I was deceived. I thought 
 when a nation was engaged in a great war with 
 C c a fuperior 
 
[ 194 ] 
 
 a fupcrior power, that they miift have council ; 
 I was deceived : Reafon in China is not reafon 
 in England. An * Officer of the Treafury may 
 be difplaced, and a Judge can execute his office, 
 t Their High-Prieft died lately ; I waited to fee 
 from what profeiTion, which had nothing to do 
 with religion, his fuccelTor would be chofen. 
 
 When a day or two had pafled, I afked when 
 a new Miniftry would be named ? I heard feveral 
 afk the fame queftion. I was told. When J the 
 enquiries were ever. I found this fatisfied every- 
 body but me. I alked what the enquiries were ? 
 By the fcanty knowledge I have of their lan- 
 guage, I concluded it fignified, an enquiry who 
 
 was fit to be Minifter No fuch things They. 
 
 never enquire before-hand. Sometimes, as in 
 the prefent cafe, they enquire whether a former 
 Minifter had been fit to be fo. Know, that 
 laft year the Englifh loft a valuable ifland : The 
 
 * On the removal of Mr. Legge^ the Chief 
 yujiice was appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer^ 
 as the hufmefs of that court requires it to be conjlant- 
 ly filled. 
 
 t Archhijhop Herring. 
 
 X Into the caufes of the lofs of Minorca. 
 
[ »95 ] 
 
 people were enraged ; they blamed tlie * Ad- 
 miral who commanded their fleet ; the f Ad- 
 miral who directed their fleet; their % chief 
 Judge, their || chief Treafurer ; their § chief 
 Secretary. The firft Admiral was imprifpned ; 
 the reft quarrelled and gave up their employ- 
 ments, ^ The chief Man of the little faction 
 was made Miniftcr, and his friends got places ; 
 yet the friends of the other two factions retained 
 theirs. An enquiry or trial of the late Minif- 
 ters was determined : The imprifoned Admiral 
 was tried, acquitted, condemned and put to 
 death. The trials of the others were delayed. 
 
 At laft they were tried Not as I expelled, 
 
 whether they were guilty, but whether they 
 ihould be Minifters again or not. If the exe- 
 cuted Admiral had lived, he too might be a 
 Minifler. Juft as this trial began, the ** new 
 head of the Admiralty forgot to make a bow to 
 
 * Adtnlral Byng. 
 
 f Lord Anfon. 
 
 X Lord Hardwlcke* || Duke of Newcajik* 
 § Mr. Fox. 
 
 H Mr. Pitt. 
 
 ** Lord Temple. 
 
 C C 2 
 
[ 196] 
 
 the King Upon which he and all his friends 
 
 were difplaced. I underftood this : As the 
 Englifli are more free than we are, 1 conceived 
 that this was a punifhment proportioned to their 
 ideas of offended Majefty, and reflected how 
 feverely one of our countrymen would be dealt 
 with, . who fhould affront the dignity of our 
 auguft Emperor. I was again deceived ; this 
 Mandarin is likely to be again a Minifter. As 
 his friends have great weight in the general Af- 
 fembly where the trials are held, I concluded 
 they would perfecute their antagonifts, and I 
 deplored the fate of thofe unhappy men who 
 would be at the mercy of their bittereft enemies. 
 There is no rule for judging of this people. 
 The third faction who were in the nature of 
 Judges, would only try fads and not perfons ; 
 and even if they could have punifhed fadls, 
 they Ihowed they were not unmerciful. I do 
 not underftand this nation. 
 
 What will furprize thee more, the chief men 
 of the Capital have bellowed * high honours on 
 
 * The freedom of the City prefented to Mr. Pitt 
 and Mr, Legge. 
 
 the 
 
I 197 3 
 
 the third fa<Sion for being difmifleJ Trom the 
 government : And the honours they have be- 
 flowed are a permiflion to exercife Tiirade^ which 
 the perfons fo diftinguiftied would think exceed- 
 ingly beneath them to follow. Doft thou com- 
 prehend this ? But the enquiries are finiflied- 
 
 Thou wilt a(k me, how ! I know not Only 
 
 I have been told that the general Aflembly affirm- 
 ed that certain things, which all the land knew 
 before, did or did not happen. Thou will attri- 
 bute this ridiculous account to my ignorance of 
 the language or manners of the country ; in 
 truth I am not matter of either ; but I know 
 the language of the French ; thefe very relations 
 that I fend thee, are tranflated into French, 
 and the Englifh fcruple not to fend them all 
 over Europe, where the French language is 
 undcrftood. 
 
 Now thou wilt fay, my friend Xo Ho, leave 
 thefe things which thou doft not under- 
 ftand, or canft not explain ; and pafs ow to fa6ls : 
 Tell me, thou wilt fay, now the trials are finifh- 
 ed, who are the new Minifters ? From which 
 fadion are they chofen?— — By Cong-fou-tfee % 
 * Confucius. thou 
 
1 198 ] 
 
 thou wilt believe as little what I (haH tell thee, 
 as what I have already delivered. Their King, 
 who dimifled a whole Miniftry, becauie one of 
 them did not humble himfelf enough before the 
 throne, is gone into the country, without know- 
 ing who are to be his Minifters How ! how ! 
 
 Thou wilt cry 5 their Monarch left his capital, 
 without appointing a Miniftry ! For what is he 
 gone into the country ? To vifit his provinces ? 
 
 To diftribute juftice ? To mufter his army ? 
 
 Alas ! alas ! dear Lien Chi ; England is not 
 
 China Hear, and I will tell thee briefly. 
 
 The Englifh have no fun, no fummer as wc 
 have, at leaft their fun does not fcorch like ours. 
 They content themfelves with names : At a cer- 
 tain time of the year they leave their capital, 
 and that makes fummer j they go out of the 
 city, and that makes the country, * Their 
 Monarch, when he goes into the country, pafTes 
 in his calafh by a row of high trees, goes along 
 s^ gravel walk, croffes one of the chief ftreeta, 
 is driven by the fide of a canal between two rows 
 of lamps, at the end of which he has a fmall 
 houfe, and then he is fuppofed to be in the coun- 
 try. I faw this ceremony yefterday ; as foon as 
 * Th^ King going to Kenjington. he 
 
[ ^99 ] 
 
 he was gone, the men put on under veftmentd 
 of white linnen, and the women left ofF thofe 
 vaft draperies, which they call hoopSj and which 
 I have defcribed to thee ; and then all the men 
 and all the women faid h was hot. If thou wilt 
 believe me, I am now writing to thee before a 
 fire. 
 
 At the top of the gravel walk, as their King 
 pafled, was * a large company of youths and 
 boys, newly clad as mariners, who are cloathed 
 by private contributions 5 for private perfons are 
 rich, the public is poor; and nothing is well 
 done, but by thefe ftarts and devices. The 
 King has given a thoufand pieces of gold to this 
 inftitution, not as King, but in his private 
 capacity ^ which here they diftinguifli. If he had 
 given them a thoufand pieces of his public 
 money, not one half would have come to the 
 youths, but would have been embezzled by the 
 officers of the revenue. Thefe youths were 
 commanded by no officer in the fea-fervice, but 
 by the J only civil Magiftrate they have ; and 
 
 * The Boys cloathed by the Marine Society, 
 X y^i/^ice Fielding. 
 
 he 
 
[ 200 ] 
 
 he is totally blind. He commands their chari-' 
 ties, inftead of being the object of them. 
 Every thing here is reverfed. 
 
 •Thou wilt be impatient to hear why the 
 King has appointed no Miniftry ; if I may be- 
 lieve a man who has always hitherto told me 
 truth, the King has no more to do with the 
 choice of his Miniftry, than thou with that 
 of our fcrenc Emperor. Thou wilt reply ; but 
 can the King of England unmake his Minifters, 
 and not make them ? Truly I know not how 
 that is. He has left the town, and^when a 
 Miniftry is formed, he is to be made acquainted 
 with it. The three factions are dealing with 
 each other to come to fome agreement, and 
 to whatever, they agree, the King mnj}. Thou 
 wilt fay ; then he is no King. I anfwer ; not 
 according to thy ideas : The Englifh think dif- 
 ferently. Well ! wilt thou fay ; but in thy 
 other letters thou haft defcribed the people of 
 England as not fo eafily fatisfied : Will they 
 fufFer three fadlions of different merits and prin- 
 ciples to lord it over both King and People ? 
 Will thofe who value royal authority, not re- 
 gret 
 
[ 201 3 
 
 aret the annihilation of it ? Will thofe who 
 think the ancient Minifters guilty, not be of- 
 fended, if they are again employed ? Will thofe 
 who rewarded the leaft faction for being dif- 
 mifled, not refent their uniting with thofe who 
 contributed to their expulfion ? My friend Lien 
 Chi, I tell thee things as they are ; I pretend 
 not to account for the conduct of Englifhmenj 
 I told thee before, they are incomprehenfible. It 
 is but lately that * a man entered into the King's 
 fervice, and vacated his feat in the general Af- 
 fembly by it : The King punifhed him for it, 
 and would not let him be re-admitted into the 
 
 general Aflembly yet the man who bowed not 
 
 to the King may be rewarded for it. Farewell. 
 
 * Dr, Hay^ ^o vacated his feat on being ap-^ 
 pointed a Lord of the Admiralty* 
 
 D d AN 
 
( 202 "1 
 
 A N 
 
 I N Q^ U I R Y 
 
 INTO THE 
 
 PERSON AND AGE 
 
 OF THE LONG-LIVED 
 
 Countess of Desmond. 
 
 HAVING a few years ago had a cii- 
 riofity to inform myfelf of the particulars 
 of the life of the very a2:ed Countefs of Dcf- 
 mond, I was much furprized to find no certain 
 account of fo extraordinary a perfon ; neither 
 exaftly how long She lived, nor even who She 
 was ; the few circumftances related of her, de- 
 pending on meer tradition. At laft I was in- 
 formed that She was buried at Sligo in Ireland, 
 and a Gentleman of that place was fo kind as 
 to procure for me the following infcriptions on 
 the monument there ^ which however foon con- 
 vinced 
 
[ 203 ] 
 
 vinced me 6f that fuppofition being a miftake, 
 as will appear by the obfervations in my letter, 
 in confequence of this which contained the 
 Epitaph. 
 
 To C. O. £/j; 
 
 Nymphsfieldy Augnjl 23, 1757. 
 Dear Sir, 
 
 T Have made I think as accurate an extra<St of 
 all the infcriptions on O'Connor's monu- 
 ment as can be, even to copy the faults of the 
 carver : I was many hours on a high ladder, and 
 it coft much time to clear the letters. The 
 loweft infcription is this ; but you are to obferve, 
 all the letters in the original are capitals, and 
 could not come in compafs to give it to you in 
 that manner, as you will perceive. 
 
 " Hie jacet famofiinmus miles Donatus * Cor- 
 " nelianus Comitatus Sligiae Dominus cum fua 
 *' Uxore illuftriflima Dna Elinora Butler Comi- 
 '^ tifFa Defmoniae que me fieri fecit A^ 1624 
 
 * Cornclianus is the defcendant of Cornelius^ 
 which in Irijh is Conagher, or -in the Jhort way^ 
 Connor. 
 
 D d 2 "poft 
 
[ 204 ] 
 
 ** port morte fui Mariti qui obiit 1 1 Aug. 
 *' A*^ 1609. Itm ejus Filia & primi Mariti vizt 
 *« Comitis Defmoniae H noie Elizabetha valdc 
 *^ virtuofiflima Dna fepulta fuit hoc in tumulo 
 *' 31*^. Novem. anno Domini 1623." 
 
 Juft above this is O'Connor in armour kneel- 
 ing and his hands raifed up and joined as at 
 prayer, his helmet on the ground behind him : 
 A tree in an efcutcheon, which is the arms of 
 O'Connor, and a trophy on one fide, and over 
 his head this infcrlption : 
 
 *' Sic praeter caelum quia nil durabile fiftit, 
 
 *' X Luccat ambobus Lux diuturna Dei. 
 
 ** Donato Connor Defmond Elinora Marito - 
 
 On the weft fide is the Countefs with a coro- 
 net and her beads, kneeling, and over her head 
 this continuation of the preceding line^, 
 
 *' H«nc fieri tumulum fecit amena fuo. 
 
 *' Cum Domino faxis Elinorae Filia cumbit, 
 
 '^ Et Comitis Defmond Elizabetha virens. 
 
 jl This ivord I can make no fenfe of^ but fie Ori- 
 glnalc. / take it to be a redundancy of the carver : 
 it feems to be a repetition of the three lajl fyllables 
 of Defnionice* 
 
 X Luceat, Between 
 
[ 205 ] 
 
 Between the two tablets, which contain the 
 infcriptions, is a boar and a coronet over it of 
 five balls, which I fuppofe belonged to Def- 
 mond. 
 
 On the fide of the Countefs is an efcutcheon 
 with the arms of Butler, and under them a book 
 open and a rofe on it, croflcd by a fpade and 
 flambeau, and an urn at bottom. 
 
 Above there is a table with this infcription 
 that runs from each end and over both the former, 
 and ornamented with an angel's head at each 
 end. It does not pay any refpe£l to the poet's 
 arrangement, as you will perceive. 
 
 *' Siccine Conatiae per quod florcbat eburna 
 
 *^ Urna tegit vivax corpora bina Decus ! 
 *' Siccine Donati tumulo conduntur in alto 
 
 '^ Ofla, que Momoniae ficcine cura jacet ! 
 *' Martia quae hello, mitis quae pace micabat, 
 
 '' Verfa eft in cineres ficcine veftra manus ! 
 
 ** Siccine Penelope faxis Elinora fepulta eft, 
 
 '' Siccine marmoreis altera cafta Judith ! 
 
 ^' Mater lerna genis humidis quae brachia tenda*, 
 
 *' Mortis ero veftris, ludibus au£la, memor." 
 
 ^tendo. Over 
 
[ 206 ] 
 
 Over this is O'Connor's arms, viz. a Tree ; 
 
 and creft, a Lion crowned. The motto is, 
 
 <^o VINCI, viNcoR. On one fide of thefe is a 
 
 figure with a key lying on the breaft, and a 
 
 fword in the left. On the other is a figure with 
 
 a fword in the right, and a book in the left 
 
 lying on the breaft ; and the whole is furmount- 
 
 cd by a crucifix. 
 
 / am Sir, 
 
 Tours^ Sec. 
 
 This Letter having been communicated to 
 me by the Gentleman who was fo obliging as 
 to make the inquiry, occafioned my fending 
 him the following ; 
 
 ^0 C. O. Efq; 
 
 Sirawhcrry-h'iU^ Sept, 17, 1757* 
 Sir, 
 
 T Should have thanked you the inftant I re- 
 ceived the honour of your obliging letter, 
 if you had not told me that you was fetting out 
 for Ireland : I am now in pain left this fhould 
 not come to your hands, as you gave me no 
 
 diredion, 
 
[ 207 ] 
 
 dire<Sion, and I fhould be extremely fbrry that 
 you fhould think me capable, Sir, of neglecting 
 to fliow my gratitude for the trouble you have 
 been fo good as to give yourfelf. I cannot think 
 of taking the liberty to give you any more, 
 though I own the infcriptions you have fent me 
 have not cleared aw^ay the difficulties relating to 
 the Countefs of Defmond. On the con- 
 trary, they make me doubt whether the Lady 
 interred at Sligo was the perfon reported to have 
 lived to fuch an immenfe age. If you will 
 excufc me, I will ftate my objedlions. 
 
 I have often heard that the aged Lady Def- 
 mond lived to one hundred and fixty two, or 
 fixty three years. In the * account of her 
 pifture at Windfor, they give her but one hun- 
 dred and fifty years. Sir William Temple J, 
 from the relation of Lord Leicefter, reduces it 
 to one hundred and forty ; adding, ** That She 
 '' had been married out of England in the reign 
 " of Edward the Fourth, and being reduced to 
 " great poverty by the ruin of the Irifh family 
 
 * See Pate's account of Windfor-cajlle^ />. 418. 
 
 • \ See his ejfay on health and long life. 
 
 "into 
 
1 208 ] 
 
 *^ into which She had married, came from Briftol 
 *^ to London towards the end of the reign of 
 '^ James the Firft to beg relief from court." 
 
 This account by no means correfponds either 
 with the monument at Sligo, or the new Irifli 
 peerage by Lodge. The great particular (be- 
 fides that of her wonderful age) which interefted 
 me iii this inquiry, was the tradition which fays, 
 that the long-lived Lady Defmond had danced 
 with Richard the Third, and always affirmed 
 that He was a very well-made Man. It is fup- 
 pofed that this was the fame Lady with whom 
 the old Lady Dacre had converfed, and from 
 whofc teftimony She gave the fame account. 
 
 In the catalogue of the ancient Earls of Def- 
 mond, inferted in the pedigree of Kildare, I can 
 find no one who married an Engl ilh woman near 
 the period in queftion : But that we will wave ; 
 it might have been a miftake of Sir William, 
 or his authority, the Earl of Leicefter, Her 
 poverty might be as erroneous, if Lodge's ac- 
 count be true*, that She left three hundred 
 pounds to the chapel at Sligo, the tomb in 
 which, as the infcription fays, She erected in 1624. 
 
 ' * W. I. />. 19. But 
 
[ 209 ] 
 But here is the greateft difficulty : If She was 
 one hundred and forty in 1636, according to 
 Lodge the aera of her death, (which by the 
 way was in King Charles's and not in King 
 James's reign) She was born in 1496. Gerald 
 Earl of Defmond, her firft hufband, died ac- 
 cording to the peerage in 1583, She was there- 
 fore eighty fty^n when She married O'Connor 
 
 of Sligo that is poffible if She lived to 
 
 one hundred and forty, She might be in the 
 vigour of her age (at leaft not diflike the vigour 
 of his) at eighty feven. The Earl of Def- 
 mond's firft wife, fays Lodge, (for our Lady 
 Eleanor was his fecond) died in 1564: If he 
 re-married the next day, his bride muft have 
 been fixty eight, and yet She had a fon and five 
 daughters by him. I fear with all her juvenile 
 powers, She muft have been paft breeding at 
 fixty eight. 
 
 Thcfe accounts tally as little with her dancing 
 with Richard the Third ; He died in 1485, and 
 by my computation She was not born till 1496. 
 If we fuppofe that She died twelve years fooner, 
 viz, in 1624, at which time the tomb was 
 E e eredled, 
 
[ 210 ] 
 
 ereSeJ, and which would coincide with Sir 
 William Temple's date of her death in the 
 reign of James ; and if we give her one hun- 
 dred and fifty years^ according to the Wind for 
 account, She would then have been born in 
 1474, and confequently was eleven years old at 
 the death of King Richard : But this fuppofition 
 labours with as many difficulties » She could 
 jiot have been married in the reign of Edward 
 the Fourth, fcarcely have danced with his Bro- 
 ther ; and it is as little probable that She had 
 much remembrance of his perfon, the point, I 
 own, in which I am moft interefted, not at all 
 crediting the accounts of his deformity, from 
 which Buck has fo well defended him, both by 
 the filence of Comines, who mentions the beau- 
 ty of King Edward, and was too fmcere to 
 have pafled over fuch remarkable uglinefs in a 
 foreigner, and from Dr. Shawns appeal to the 
 people before the ProtecSor's face, whether his 
 Highnefs was not a comely Prince and the exaft 
 image of his Father. The power that could 
 enflave them, could not have kept them from 
 laughing at fuch an apoftrophe, had the Protec- 
 tor been as ill-fliapen as the Lancaftrian hifto- 
 
 rians*; 
 
[ 211 ] 
 
 nans reprefcnt him. Lady Dermond'5 teftimony 
 adds great weight to this defence. 
 
 But the more we accomodate her age to that 
 of Richard the Third, the lefs it will fuit with 
 that of her firft hufband. If She was born in 
 1474, her having children by him (Gerald Earl 
 of Defmond) becomes vaftly more improbable. 
 
 It is very remarkable, Sir, that neither her 
 tomb, nor Lodge, fhould take notice of this 
 extraordinary perfbn's age ; and I own if I 
 knew how to confult him without trefpatTing on 
 your goodnature and civility, I fhould be very 
 glad to ftate the foregoing difficulties to him. 
 But I fear I have already taken too great free- 
 dom with your indulgence, and am, &'c. 
 
 P, S, Since I finifhed my letter, a new idea 
 has ftarted, for difcovering who this very old 
 Lady Defmond was, at leafl whofc wife She 
 was, fuppofmg the perfon buried at Sligo not to 
 be Her. Thomas the fixth Earl of Defend 
 was forced to give up the Earldom : But it is 
 E e 2 not 
 
[ 212 ] 
 
 not improbable that his defcendants might u(c 
 the title, as he certainly left iffue. His fon died, 
 fays Lodge * in 1 45 2, leaving two fons John 
 and Maurice. John being born atleaft in 1451, 
 would be above thirty at the end of Edward the 
 Fourth. If his Wife was feventeen in the laft 
 year of that King, She would have been born 
 in 1466. If therefore She died about 1625, 
 She would be one hundred and fifty nine. This 
 approaches to the common notion of her age, 
 as the ruin of the branch of the family into 
 which She married, docs to Sir William Tem- 
 ple's. A few years more or lefs in certain parts 
 of this hypothefis, would but adjuft it ftili better 
 to the accounts of Her. Her Hufband being 
 only a titular Earl folves the difficulty of the 
 filence of gcnealogifts on fo extraordinary a 
 perfon. 
 
 Still wc fliould be to learn of what family 
 She herfeif was : And I find a new evidence, 
 w^hich agreeing with Sir William '^Femple's ac- 
 count, fecms to clafh a little with my laft fup- 
 pofition. This authority is no lefs than Sir 
 Walter Raleigh's, who in the fifth chapter of 
 
 * vcl. I. /•. 14. the 
 
[ SI3 ] 
 
 the firft book of his hiftory of the World, fays 
 exprefsly, that He himfelf *' knew the old 
 *' Countefs of Defmond of Inchiquin, who 
 " lived in the year 1 589, and many years fincc, 
 *' who was married in Edward the Fourth's time, 
 '' and held her jointure from all the Earls of Def 
 *' mond fince then ; and that this is true, all the 
 *' noblemen and gentlemen of Munfter can wit- 
 ^* nefs.'* Her holding a jointure from all the 
 Earls of Defmond would imply that her Hufband 
 was not of the titular line, but of that in pof- 
 feflion : Yet that difficulty is not fo great, as no 
 fuch Lady being mentioned in the pedigree. 
 By Sir Walter's words it is probable that She 
 was dead when he wrote that account of Her. , 
 His Hiftory was firft printed in 1614; this 
 makes the aera of her death much earlier than 
 I had fuppofed, but having allowed her near 
 one hundred and fixty years, taking away ten 
 or twelve will make my hypothefis agree better 
 with Sir William Temple's account, and does 
 not at all deftroy the aflumption of her being 
 the Wife of only a titular Earl. However all 
 thcfe are conjedures, which I fliould be glad 
 to have afcertained or confuted by any curious 
 
 perfon 
 
[ 214] 
 perfon, who could produce authentic tcftimo- 
 nies of the birth, death and family, of this very 
 remarkable Lady ; and to excite or aflift which 
 was the only purpofe of this difquifition. 
 
 Having communicated thefe obfervations to 
 the Rev. Dr, Charles Lyttelton Dean of Exeter, 
 he foon afterwards found and gave me the follow- 
 ing extract from p. 36, of Smith's natural and 
 civil hiftory of the County of Corke, printed at 
 Dublin, 1750, 8vo, 
 
 <c * Thomas the thirteenth Earl of Defmond, 
 *' Brother to Maurice the eleventh Earl, died 
 .*^this year (1534) at Rathkeile, being of a 
 *' very great age, and was buried at YoughalL 
 ** He married, firft, J Ellen Daughter of Mc. 
 *' Carty of Mufkerry, by whom He had a fon, 
 
 ** Maurice, who died vita patris, The Earl's 
 
 *^ fecond Wife was Catherine Fitzgerald, Daugh- 
 *^ ter of the Fitzgeralds of the Houfe of Dru- 
 
 * His name was James ^ and he zuas the twelfth 
 Earl. 
 
 X See Lodgers peerage^ vol, i. p, 16. 
 
 *^ mana 
 
C 215 1 
 
 «« mana in the County of Waterford. This 
 '^ Catherine was the Countefs that lived fo 
 *' long, of whom Sir Walter Raleigh makes 
 '' mention in his Hiftory of the World, and 
 *' was reputed to live to one hundred and forty 
 *•' years of age." 
 
 This is the moft pofitive evidence we have ; 
 the Author quotes RufTel's MS. If She was 
 of the Fitzgeralds of Waterford, it will not 
 not in ftriilnefs agree with Sir William Tem- 
 ple's relation of her being married out of Eng- 
 land ; by which we fliould naturally fuppofc 
 
 that She was born of Englifh blood Yet 
 
 his account is fo vague, that it ought not to be 
 fet againft abfolute aflcrtion, fuppofing the Ruf- 
 fel MS. to be of good authority enough to fup- 
 port what it is quoted to fupport in 1750. 
 
 Upon the whole, and to reduce this Lady^s 
 age as low as poflible, making it at the fame time 
 coincide with the moft probable accounts, Wc 
 will fuppofe that She was married at fifteen in 
 1483, the laft year of Edward the Fourth, 
 
 and 
 
[ 2l6 ] 
 
 and that She died in 1612, two years before the 
 publication of Sir Walter Raleigh's hiftory, 
 She will then have been no lefs than * one 
 hundred and forty five years of age, a particu- 
 larity fingular enough to excite, and I hope, 
 to excufe this Inquiry. 
 
 * Lord Bacon^ fays Fuller^ computed her age to 
 be one hundred and forty at leajl ; and added ^ that 
 She three times had a new fet of teeth ; for fo J 
 underjland^ ter vices dentifle, not that She re- 
 covered them three times after, cajling ihem^ as 
 Fuller tranjlates it, which is giving her four fets 
 of teeth. 
 
 Worthies in North umb. p. 310. 
 
 INSCRIP. 
 
INSCRIPTION 
 
 ON A 
 
 PICTURE 
 
 OF THE LATE 
 
 POPE. 
 
[ 2i8 ] 
 
 Profpero Lambertini 
 
 Bishop of Rome 
 
 by the Name of Benedict XIV, 
 
 Who though an ahfolute Prince, 
 
 reigned as harmlefsly 
 
 as a Doge of Venice : 
 
 HErreftorcd the luftre of the Tiara 
 
 by thofe Arts alone, 
 
 by which alone He obtained it. 
 
 His Virtues. 
 
 Beloved by Papists, 
 
 Efteemed by Protestants : . 
 
 A Prieft, without infolence or intcreftednefij 
 
 A Prince, without Favorites ; 
 
 A Pope, without Nepotifm ; 
 An Author, without Vanity ; 
 
 In Ihort, a Man, 
 
 Whom neither Wit nor Power 
 
 could Ipoil. 
 
[ 219 ] 
 
 The Son of a favorite Minister, 
 But One who never courted a Prince, 
 
 Nor worfhipped a Churchman, 
 Offers in a free Protestant Country 
 
 This deferved Incenfe 
 To the Best of the Roman Pontifs. 
 
 M DC C LVII. 
 
 This Infcription having been fent to Sir Horace 
 Mann at Florence, and by him fliown to the 
 Abbate Niccolini, the latter tranflated and fent 
 it to Cardinal Archinto, who gkve it to the Pope, 
 The good old Man was fo pleafed with this tefti- 
 mony born to his Virtues, that He gave copies 
 to all that came near Him, and wrote it in 2 
 letter to one of his particular Friends at Bologna, 
 concluding with this expreffion of amiable hu- 
 mility ; " Noi mandiamo tutto al noftro Cano- 
 *' nico Peggi, accio conofca che fiamo come le 
 *' ftatue della facciata di San Pietro in Vaticano, 
 *' che, achi e nella piazza e cofi lontano, fanno 
 <' una bella comparfa, ma a chi poi viene vicino, 
 ♦' fanno figure di orridi Mafcheroni.'* 
 
 'O" 
 
 FINIS. 
 
OM 
 
 ^ 
 
 \^ 
 
.A./'A/x 
 
■m^^ 
 
 )^M^