i-7C- 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 THE 
 
 WISE MAN OF THE EAST; 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE APPARITION OF 
 
 ZOROASTER, 
 
 THE SON OF OROMASES, . 
 
 TO THE 
 
 rHEATRICAL MIDWIFE 
 
 *CF LEICESTER-FIELDS. 
 
 A SATIRICAL POEM. 
 
 Heu mihi ! qualis erat ! quantum inutata ! 
 
 How^feang'd, alas ! from her, wliofe comic page. 
 With hative humour fraught, enrich'd the ftagc : 
 Who nobly dar'd to higher hopes afpire, ^ 
 And fcfar fublimc on Fancy's Mufe of fire ! 
 Now fto6ps to fcrvile toils, and bafely deigns 
 To ihrefh the litter of another's brains ! 
 
 By THOMAS BUTTON, A.M. 
 
 AUTHOR OF THE LITERARY CENSUS, &C. 
 
 Virgil. 
 
 London : Publlihed by H. D. Symonds, 20, Pater-nofter-row ; 
 
 and T. Bellamy, King's-ftreet, Covent-Garden, 
 
 M D c c c.
 
 3-Sli 
 Z S Li 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 T 
 
 HE prefent degraded ftate of the Englifh 
 drama ; the little encouragement held out to 
 the native genius of the country nay I ought 
 rather to fay the aSiual confpiracy formed 
 againfl it by the extravagant and fenfelefs 
 patronage of German literature, to the neglet 
 of our ov^n the infatuation for the incoherent 
 rhapfodies of Kotzebue ; the mercantile nego- 
 tiation lately opened between the managers of 
 our theatres, on the one part, and that inflated 
 German play-wright, on the other, for a re- 
 gular fupply of his neweft manufcripts ; tlie 
 importatlon-contradf, duly figned, fealed, and 
 delivered on both fides of the water, for ovcr- 
 Itocking the theatrical market with foreign 
 wares ; the fanclion given to this vile mono- 
 poly by the co-operation of lome of our re- 
 fpedabic dramatic writers reipedable as to 
 their talents, but irjcrccnary in their pi-aclice ; 
 
 the
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 tlic Incapacity and venality of our periodical 
 vehicles of criticifm all thele caufes, meeting 
 and combined together, loudly demand the aid 
 of honeft fatire, and the intervention of up- 
 right, dauntlefs criticifm of criticifm, un- 
 warped by popular prejudices, and recklefs of 
 the defpotifm of a pompous name to reicuc 
 genius from the contamination or falfc tafle, 
 and the tyranny of a foreign ufurper. 
 
 Aware, that elaborate criticifm, unaccom- 
 panied with humour, aiid flript of the embcl- 
 lifliments of verfe, would, from being of too 
 grave a nature to obtain a general perulal, not 
 meet the magnitude and extent of the evil 
 complained of, the author of tlic preient pro- 
 Uudlion has had recourfe to the arhihincc of the 
 comic and iatiric Mufc ; and curvettlnn; into 
 the flowery regions of Fancy, has employed 
 tlie machinery of the poetic Vv-orld, to gi\c a 
 more ])leaiing and prepofleiliiig introdiiclion to 
 his critical remark^'. 
 
 Periiiad.d
 
 PREFACE. vii 
 
 Perfuadcd of the good fenfe and cultivated 
 underflanding of the fair writer, whofe late 
 theatrical produdioii forms the ground-work 
 of the prefent performance, the author labours 
 under no dread of giving umbrage to that in- 
 telligent lady (whofe talents no perfon can 
 hold in higher eftimation than himfelf) by the 
 harmlefs pleafantry ia which he has oc clion- 
 ally permitted his Mufe to indulge. He has 
 likewife, as the reader will perceive, made ufe 
 of that lady's agency as the vehicle of fome 
 juft fatire on the falfe tafle of feveral co- tem- 
 porary writers of reputed celebrity. Firmly 
 attached to that part of th.e literary creed, 
 which denies fe>: to genius^ he as little grants, 
 as the lady in queil:ion can ftand in need of it.^ 
 the validity of that plea, which the ingenious 
 author of the Epilogue to the New Comedy 
 advances in her favour to foften the rip^ours of 
 criticifm. H has ad:ed uprightly and from 
 principle; and he nowmakes his appea:ance 
 before the tribunal of the public, wich the calm 
 compofui : and unruffled tranquillity of a good 
 conitience.
 
 s=se 
 
 id^^i 
 
 THE 
 
 n^ISE MAN OF THE BAST', 
 
 OK 
 
 THE APPARITION OF 
 
 ROASTER, 
 
 THE SON OF OROMASES, &c 
 
 PART THE FIRST. 
 
 TRETCH'D on her downy bed of fpotlefs 
 fame, 
 In gentle flumbers lay th' obftetric dame* 
 With recent triumph fwell'd her confcious 
 
 breaft, 
 And felf- complacence lull'd her mind to reft. 
 
 B Still
 
 lO THE WISE MAN 
 
 Still crowded houfes in her dteams appear 5 
 Still thuiidVing plaudits vibrate on her ear 
 In bright fuccefHon pafs before her ken 
 The laureU'd trophies of her matchlefs pen ; 
 Novels and Dramas march in long* array. 
 Gay as the fcene that clos'd her " Wedding 
 
 Day!' 
 
 Gay, 
 
 * The following, I believe, is an accurate lift of Mrs. 
 Inchbald's literary productions : 
 
 I'll tell you What -_ ^ Comedy 
 
 Such Things are ditto 
 
 Every one has his Fault ditto 
 
 The Wedding Day ditto 
 
 Wives as they were, and Maids as they are ditto 
 
 The Mogul Tale ^ Farce 
 
 Appearance is againft them ditto 
 
 The Widow's Vow A Tranfiatioii 
 
 The Midnight Hour ditto 
 
 Animal Magnetifm ditts 
 
 The Child of Nature ditto 
 
 The Married Man ditto 
 
 Next-door Neighbours ditto 
 
 The Simple Story AlSovcL 
 
 Nature and Art ditto 
 
 Lovers' Vows 1 German Metamorphofes^ 
 
 Wife Man of the Eaft \ from Kotzcbin.
 
 OF THE EAST. II 
 
 Gay, as the *' Child of Nature" in full power; 
 Or " Lovers' Vows" rehearsM at " Midnight- 
 Hour!" 
 But chief, and bcfl-belov'd, as lateft born, 
 She fees her cunning-man the fcene adorn ; 
 In Eaftern majefty he ftruts along. 
 The gaze and wonder of the gaping throng ! 
 Th* enchanting vifion fires her eager brain, ~ 
 For female bofoms will at times feel vain; 
 And thrice, hke Philip's fon, fhe " flew 
 theflain*!" 
 
 As brooding thus the fleeping matron lies, 
 And rides on Fancy's wing th' Olympic fkies ; 
 Where, worthy found with demi-gods to rove, 
 She quaffs the ne^lar of imperial Jove ! 
 In conclave fage with ancient writers fits. 
 And '-' quizzes" all the Sanhedrim of wits ! 
 
 * The KiniT grew vain, 
 
 P'ought all his bullies o'er again, 
 AaJ thiicc h^ routed ;ill his fbes, and tl;.-ice he (lew the Haiii ' 
 
 Dr Y D F. N' 's Auwundei \ Fc-n/f. 
 
 B z A fikU
 
 12 THE WISE MAN 
 
 A fudden motion fhakes the lofty 'room, 
 A fudden flafti of light difpels the gloom ; 
 Confeft before her ftands the Indian Sire, 
 Envellop'd in a blaze of * harmlefs fire I 
 Great Zoroafter ! who in early date 
 Firfl magic fpells explored and read the book 
 of Fate ! 
 
 Rous'd by th' intruiion from her trance 
 profound, 
 The dame aftonifh'd cafts her eyes around ; 
 
 Nor 
 
 * Zoroafter, that he might the more efFeftaally dedicate 
 himfelf to cbntemplation, and the ftudy of Nature, fequef- 
 tered himfelf, in the early part of his life, from the inter- 
 courfe with mankind. On his return to fociety, a fiery 
 meteor defcended from the heavens, and envelloped him, 
 like the angel in the burning bufh, without doing him the 
 llighteft injury, as an evidence of his divine miilion. This 
 miraculous event being made known, the king of the 
 country, accompanied by the principal nobility and officers 
 of Hate, v.- cat forth to do him homage. Zoroafter repaid 
 their civilities by iiiftrucling them in the worftiipofthe 
 Godi, and fck-cicd a chofen number of difciples, whom he 
 formed into a hierarchy, under the denomination of Magi,
 
 OF THE EAST. I3 
 
 Nor yet relcasM from Fancy's ftrong control. 
 Her fleeping vifions ftill poffefs her foul. 
 Full of her new-born play, fhe deems the fage 
 The * pfeudo-necromancer of the flage. 
 Straightway her cheeks affume a deeper red ; 
 With decent care ihe tucks her limbs in bed : 
 
 Con- 
 
 * The part of the Wife Man of the Eaji, m Mrs. Inch. 
 bald's Anglo-German comedy of that name, is aiHgned to 
 Mr. MuNDEN. The error which the fair adapter of Kotze- 
 bue's ill-digefled play commits in miftaking the perfon of 
 her ghoftly vifitor for the comic reprefentative oi Ava Tho~ 
 ana^ is eafily accounted for by the deep impreffion which that 
 charadler is fuppofed to have made upon her mind ; her new 
 drama forming, agreeably to the old adage, the fubjeit both 
 of her waking and her feeping thoughts : 
 
 Tempore nocturno volvuntijr vota diurna. 
 
 Mr. Sheridan, fhortly after the produdbion of his far- 
 famed Pizarro^ ai:ed from the fame impulfe, when apolo- 
 gizing to a friend for the neglect of his promife, he added 
 mental to corporeal feceffion from his duty ; and, forgetful 
 that he was a member of the Britifh Senate, adopted the 
 country of his theatrical hero, and aftually commenced his 
 letter with ; " Dear Sir, As I am a Peruvian ! &c."
 
 14 THE WISE MAN 
 
 Conceals from gaze profane the charms that 
 
 deck 
 Her heavhig bofom and her iv'ry neck ; 
 That bofom, where the Loves and Graces fport; 
 Where Venus * Eryclna holds her court ! 
 That neck, which far exceeds in pearly fhow 
 The Parian marble, or the drifted fnow I 
 What, though wife t Ava may intend no harm? 
 Sure female modefty mufl take alarm ! 
 Such charms might even anchorites infpirf. 
 And light afrefh the flames of wild defire : 
 Might thaw the frozen breaft of palfied ^igc. 
 And hoary faints provoke to lawlefs rage. 
 
 Befides 
 
 * A title given to Venus from mount Eryx, in Sicilr, 
 Oil which formerly flood a temple confecr:ited to that 
 (joddcfs, under the name of Erycina. The women inha- 
 biting the adjacent diilricl were held in high repute for their 
 perfonal attractions ; a diftinction which travellers inform 
 us they retain over the refl; of the Sicilian ladies to the nrc- 
 ("ent day, 
 
 f Jva Thoana^ the prctcn.ded Indian Pliilofopher in the 
 new comedy, pcrfonated, as we have already ohfcr'.cd, by 
 Mr. MuNDF. N. As we fliall have fretpient occafion to 
 -<iliudc to the feveral cl-.araclers intro-luccd in the lf'i,'t: AJ.ni 
 
 -7
 
 OF THE EAST. t^ 
 
 Befides flioiild fucli a tete-a-tete be known 
 By MuNDEN caught in bed, and all alone I 
 What would not bufy fcandal buzz about ? 
 What would not prudes believe beyond a doubt? 
 For furely Munden is not beauty-proof; 
 Nor form'd by nature long to Hand aloof f 
 Perhaps, has nought of Joseph but the name ! 
 Perhaps, may dearly love a bit of game ! 
 
 If 
 
 cfthe Eajlj It may not be inexpedient, for the fake of per- 
 fpicuity, to fubjoin a lift of the Dramatis Perfana. 
 Ava Thoana^ the pretended Indian, -j 
 
 but, as it afterwards appears, the > Mr. Munden, 
 
 father of young Clarenceforth, ^ 
 Young Clarenceforth, Mr. Lewis. 
 
 Mr. Metland, Mr. Murray. 
 
 Enfign Charles Metland, Mr. H. Johnston'. 
 
 Bankwell, Mr. Davenport- 
 
 Timothy Starch, Mr. Knight. 
 
 Lawley, Mr. Waddy. 
 
 Sir Richard Chances, Mr. Claremont. 
 
 Lady Mary Diamond, Mrs. Davenport* 
 
 Mrs. Metland, Mrs. Johnson. 
 
 Ellen Metland, Mifs Murray. 
 
 Rachel Starch, Mrs. Mattocks, 
 
 Ruth Starch, Mrs. H.Johnston.
 
 l6 THE WISE MAN 
 
 If right I read his rolling eye, forfootli 
 
 The cunning rogue may have a lick'rifh tooth { 
 
 This thought with deeper blulhes dyes her 
 
 cheek, 
 And for a-while denies the power to fpeak ; 
 Till refolute at length fhe filence broke, 
 Thrice hemm'd to clear her throat, and thus 
 
 *LUCINA fpoke : 
 
 Say, daring mortal ! whom my magic pen 
 Enrojrd among the tribe of cunning-men ! 
 
 Whom 
 
 * Lucina, in the Roman Mythology, was the name 
 given to Diana in her official capacity, as the tutelary 
 Goddefs of pregnancy ; females in that fituation being more 
 immediately fubjedl to the influence of the moon, of which 
 planet Diana was the reprefentative. 
 Rite maturos aperire partus, 
 Lenis Ilithyia, tuere matres ; 
 Sive tu Lucina probas vocari, 
 Seu Genitalis, 
 
 HoR. Carmen Seculare. 
 The appropriation of the title of Lucina to Mrs. Inch- 
 bald, in reference to ihe part fne adts as ?nid"julfe to the 
 prolific Mufe of Kotzebuc, muft be acknowledged ftri^^ly 
 juft and merited.
 
 OF THE EAST* I7 
 
 Whom with a wizard's wand and garb rever'd 
 I arm'd, and added graceful length of beard ! 
 Whom from the fartheft Eaft my griffin bore, 
 And fafely landed on Old England's fhore ; 
 Tranfported from Camboyda's^fweltringhcat 
 To Covent-Garden's cool and chajie retreat : 
 There planted in a foil to virtue dear, 
 Where love perennial blooms throughout the 
 
 year ! 
 Where nymphs ^ more fair than f Houries of 
 
 the iky, 
 Sport their fair fhapes, and roll the melting 
 
 eye ! 
 
 Say, 
 
 * Ava Thoana is exprefsly introduced to young Clarence- 
 forth as a native of Cambodia. That the climate of that 
 kingdom mull: be tolerably warm, the reader will eafily in- 
 fer, when he confiders that it lies between 9 to 15 degrees 
 North latitude. 
 
 f The Houries in the Mahometan fyftem are the fair 
 damfels defigned for the companions of the faithful in Para- 
 dife. As women, according to the Koran, are not allowed 
 to be poflefled of fouls, thefe beautiful Shunamites are not 
 fuppofed to be the glorified bodies of the Sultanas with whom 
 
 C they
 
 1 3 THE WISE MAN 
 
 Say, by what fiend Impell'd with pnrpofe rude 
 Thou dar'fl upon my privacy intrude ? 
 Wliy thus abufe thy delegated power ? 
 Whv in my chamber at this lonely hour ? 
 For nought, I'm w^ell alTur'd, but magic Ikill 
 Could gain thee entrance here againfl: my will. 
 With vyife precaution (as I always do) 
 The door I double-lock'd, the bolt I drew. 
 No feciet paffages this houfe contains ; 
 No vaults where hideous fpeclres clank their 
 
 chains ; 
 No hidden ftaircafe ; no concealVl recefs, 
 Where rakes may lie in watch, whilft I un- 
 
 drefs ; 
 No ruin'd galleries, which retortive bend. 
 And lead the wanderer to ^tlic gallery's end 1 
 No fubterraneous path to aid tliy flight. 
 And fpuc tiiee up from daikncfs unto light ; 
 
 Such 
 
 th.'v cw.'ivfrfcd (Ui c:u-l!i ; but :ir'j ;.i r.cw race <u'" females, 
 fii-iiied lOr 'Jie exjjrcJs pui-pofe ol ioiacii y tiic U'uc iK-licvers 
 \;iw^ ihuij- ril;u!Ji!lim::nts, to \vhich ericct ihey Jirc cn- 
 <.!ow^u \vi'.;i t;iiJ;!' jiK'.tni bw.!::;/, aj:;: uii;;wcavii!;!, chaiins.
 
 OF THE EAST. I9 
 
 Sucii as Udolpho's myftlc v/alls may boaft, 
 Where fierce Montoni lodg'd his murd'rous 
 
 hoft ; 
 Where in a pantry, or a cellar flor'd, 
 Whole armies might encamp, and bed and 
 
 board. 
 W^here through a hundred gates, like Thebes 
 
 of yore, 
 J^mbattled fquadrons ru/li, and neighing 
 
 courfers pour ! 
 Notfuch In Leiceilcr-fields our buildings rife," 
 Where plncli'd for room, to guard againfl 
 
 furpife, y 
 
 Wc find one outer door will for one lioufe 
 
 fufflce. 
 Ilcnce plainly follows, as thou mufl perceive. 
 Thou com'fl: bv mar-Ic, and without niy leave. 
 
 Then fpcak tliy purpofe quickly let me 
 know, 
 W'lethcr zs friend thou comTc ? or coni'ft :'S 
 
 
 c 2 li;
 
 20 THE WISE MAN 
 
 If, bent on mifchief, and with foul accurft, 
 Thou feek'fl toa6t a crime, of crimes the worft 1 
 Know, though alone, without or fwordorfpear 
 I dare thy malice ; nor thy prowefs fear. 
 
 Haft thou not heard how once by man 
 purlued, 
 My* Drury-Lane aflailant I fubdued ? 
 What, though no boiling kettle near me ftand? 
 What, though no fcalding tea-pot be at hand ? 
 
 Yet 
 
 * Mrs. Inchbald, then xMifs Simpson, In her proba- 
 tion for the ftage, was introduced by the gentleman whom 
 fhe afterwards 'married, to the acquaintance and promifed 
 patronage of Mr. D , of Drury-lane, the joint proprie- 
 tor and afting manager of a country theatre. Mr. D , 
 
 ftruck with her perfon, immediately, engaged her as his 
 pupil ; and for fome time appeared very zealous and fiiiccre 
 in his offers of f-^rvice. But one evening throwing off the 
 ina'Tc, and difcovering his real intentions, our iucenfcd 
 heroine revenged the affront by difcharging a bafon of ic.l'I- 
 jng water the tca-cquipage very fortunately happening to be 
 on the table in the face and open bofom of the darii-.g of., 
 fc-nder. Before Mr. D had time to recover from hiS 
 j.a'.ifid furpri/:e, the lady \:<.\^ flown down Hairs; and rc- 
 
 pairi.-
 
 OF THE EAST. 21 
 
 Yet weapons, well I ween, may flill be found 
 
 To bring ev'n Munden's greatnefs to the 
 ground ! 
 
 Thefe hands, ilill to their loving miftrefs true, 
 
 Thefe hands fhall beat and thump thee black 
 and blue ! 
 
 Thefe nails, which fharp my fingers' ends en- 
 cafe, 
 
 Thefe nails fhall maul and fcarlfy thy face I 
 
 Shall irrefiftibly affail thy nofe. 
 
 And blood Hiall follow, as I deal my blows ! 
 
 This 
 
 pairing to Mr. Inchbald, by whom {he had been recom- 
 mended to Mr. D 's tuition, related every circumflance 
 of the tranfaclion. Mr. Inchbald was knCihly hurt at 
 the treatment {lie had received, and fuggefted other modes 
 of introduction to the {lage ; but finding her inflexible in 
 her refuf^l any longer to dance attendance on man^igers ; 
 fifter a paufe of fome length and ferious import, he told her 
 that he knew of no fituation in which her virtue could be 
 fccure, except marriage. " True, Sir, (replied the lady), 
 " but who will have me r" " I will," returned Mr. 
 Inchbald, with animation ; "but perhaps you would not 
 ^' accept of mc." " Indeed, but 1 would, Sir, (rejoined 
 
 the
 
 22 TPiE WISE MAN 
 
 This caiidleftick upon thy founding crown 
 Shall beat the warlike tune of*' Deny 'Do-'jonr' 
 Nor will my fury cool, nor anger* ccafe. 
 But blows fhall multiply, and kicks encrcafe; 
 Till full revenge of all my wrongs I take ; 
 Till ev'ry bone fhall in thy carcafe ache ; 
 Till mind and body both fatigued alike 
 My drooping arm has lofl the power to ftrikc. 
 
 Home fhalt thou go if home thou canfl: 
 regain- 
 In piteous plight, and rack'd with torturing 
 pain. 
 
 More 
 
 '' the other,) and think myfclf cternallv obhaed to \ (n;."' 
 The bargain was ijiflantlv ilruck, ana :;; Icfs tlr.n a vsccL 
 iMr. Inchbald led the bloomin;!, bl'j/iilng Janifc! to tln 
 hymencai altar. 
 
 ^ Nor will the God's awaken'd \\wv ccafe, 
 
 liut plagues fliall fprcaJ, aiul funeral fires increafc. 
 
 I I. 1 AD, I'ook 1. V. 171.
 
 OF THE EAST* 23 
 
 More bruis'cl and batter'd in each trembling 
 
 joint, 
 Thnn hadll: thou fought the Dutch at Helder- 
 
 point : 
 More gali'd thy (houlders, and more pinch'd 
 
 thv ribbs. 
 Than if tbe mob iniftook thee for Jane 
 
 GiBBS ! 
 
 Or for \he * Monster newly come to life ; 
 Or for a flogging cull that trims his wife ! 
 More filthy, nafty, foul, and black as pitch, 
 Than hadfl: thou roll'd the kennel at Fleet- 
 ditch ; 
 More wet from head to tail from neck to 
 
 rump 
 
 Than wert thou duck't at Covent-Gardcj. 
 pump ; 
 
 Or 
 
 * The public prints inform us, that this te:na.ic fi;:ar2. 
 crow, ^^n i'niic perion allumir.g his chanii^cr, i-;.;- a^-:i:n 
 made his appearance ia the ilreccs of the mcropi/'is. S.:\e- 
 ral hidics, it Icenis, have been expoied to his ii^iult^ ; r.nj 
 one lady in p;irucular had her car nearly fc/.^cJ i-i 'v.c . 
 the car.nib.'.i.
 
 24 THE WISE MAN 
 
 Or dragg'd through ev'ry horfe-pond, deep 
 
 and low, 
 From Hyde-Park-Corner to the town of 
 
 Slough ; 
 More difmal with thy woeful length of face, 
 Than vagrants pelted round the market place. 
 More fore thy ears, and, haply too, lefs found. 
 Than wert thou plUored at St. Giles's pound. 
 
 Then hold, rafh man, and timely warn'd, 
 forbear ; 
 And how ? and why ? thou hither cam'/!:, 
 declare. 
 
 PAkT
 
 TH 
 
 WISE MAN OF THE EAST-, 
 THE APPARITION OF 
 
 ZOROASTE 
 
 THE SON OF OROMASES, &c. 
 
 PART THE SECOND, 
 
 1 HE mafron ceasM, and now for want of 
 
 breath, 
 Gafping fhe lay as in the arms of death : 
 Silent her tongue, though fore againft her 
 
 will ; 
 But, even (ilent, feem'd to threaten fcilL 
 
 D Not
 
 26 THE WISE MAN 
 
 Not that the dame, for modeft merit known, 
 
 To * volubility of fpeech was prone. 
 
 But here the caufe was fuch as well might 
 
 claim 
 A louder tone, and kindle into flame. 
 A wicked foe, well-vers'd in magic-charm, 
 (So whifper'd fear) her virtue fought to harm; 
 That virtue, dearer than her life, her gold. 
 Which young fiie kept, and means to keep 
 
 when old ! 
 This gave her tongue to roll without reftraint, 
 Nor paufe allow'd, nor reft from loud com- 
 plaint ; 
 Till, nature finking with a clofing figh, 
 She ftopt, par -force, and waited for reply. 
 
 Calrh, 
 '' - - - ~ 
 
 The author is perfe6lly aware that loquacity is not to 
 be ranked among the characleriftics of his heroine. But 
 allowances muft be made for the jeopardy of the lady's fitu- 
 ation ; befides, it ought to be confidcred, that, in her pre- 
 fent extremity, fhe had no tea-pot at hand to defend her 
 virtue i as in the cafe of Mr. D , aJrqady related.
 
 OF THE EAST, 27 
 
 Calm, with the fober dignity of age, 
 And graceful ftep advanced the Indian fage. 
 His hand he motion'd ; fmooth'd his bearded 
 
 chin. 
 Nor would -till fure the dame had done 
 
 begin. 
 
 For Spirits never * interrupt a fpeech. 
 
 Nor trench upon the forms good manners 
 
 teach. 
 
 Hence, 
 
 * To judge from modern manners without the remo- 
 teft reference to August Legislative Assemblies 
 impatience of fpeech, among the polifhed fons of Europe, 
 feems to form the criterion of civilization. The Northern 
 tribes of America, and indeed moft of thofe nations v/hich 
 we ftigmatize with the epithet oi favages and barbarians^ are 
 rigidly punctilious in their obfervance of oratorial etiquette. 
 So far from interrupting a fpeaker on public occafions in his 
 harangue, no perfon rifes to reply, till his predeceflbr in 
 debate has refumed his feat, with the intervention of a filent 
 paufe of confiderable duration. But the gentlemen of the 
 Bar and Senate will no doubt be apt to attribute this deco- 
 rum lefs to the good-fenfc and good-manners of the In- 
 dians, than to a lack of eloquence and periwigs ! As to the 
 ladies, they are privileged beings in all communities. 
 
 D 2
 
 28 THE WISE MAN 
 
 Hence, though the dame might well prolix 
 
 appear. 
 He lent to all Ihe faid a patient ear : 
 And now he waited, pondering in his brain 
 Whether fhe purpos'd to harangue again. 
 
 Convinc'd at length 'twas now his turn to 
 fpeak. 
 He thus addrefsM the dame in accents meek : 
 
 Deceiv'd by faint refemblance to that 
 wight, 
 Who * apes the cunning-man by candle- 
 light 
 Such faint refemblance, as in drefs might ftrike 
 Not quite diffimilar, nor quite alike ; 
 Such as the valet for My Lord might pafs. 
 When in his mafter's clothes he fees his lafs ; 
 Such as a left-ofF robe might form between 
 A ruin'd Maid of Honour and a Queen- 
 
 Deceiv'd 
 
 * EiiRATUM. Should be als.
 
 OF THE EAST. 2^ 
 
 DecelvM by * flck-mens' dreams, and fancies 
 
 vain. 
 The crude abortion of an idiot's brain ! 
 On fuch flight views, fuch unfubftantial 
 
 ground, 
 A Magus with a Mimic you confound ! 
 Great Zoroaster! Heav'n's eternal heir! 
 With Joey Munden, merry wag, compare ! 
 
 For know, fair dame I and throw your fears 
 
 away, 
 
 No lurking ravifher here prowls for prey ; 
 
 No danger menaces your fame, or life ; 
 
 The man you dread's at home and f hugs his 
 
 wife ! 
 
 In 
 
 * velut jegri fomnia, vanas 
 
 Fingentur fpecies j ut nee pes, nee caput uni 
 Reddatur formse. 
 
 HoR. De Arte Poetica. 
 
 \ This circumftance the writer advances entirely on the 
 authority of Zoroafter : he does not pretend to vouch for the 
 fact from his own knowledge.
 
 30 THE VV^ISE MAN 
 
 In me jou fee the Arimafpiaii Sire ! 
 
 The * Stars' own progeny ! the fon of fire ! 
 
 Who vlfit heav'n or earth with equal eafe, 
 
 And die, and rife t again, whene'er I pleafe ! 
 
 As fancy diflates, from its mortal hin, 
 
 I blow my fpirit out, or fuck it in ! 
 
 This 
 
 * Zorcajler^ according to fome commentators, is a com- 
 pound-word, literally fignifying the Offspring of the Stars. 
 By the fame etymology, Zorobahel is laid to imply a perfon 
 born at Babylon. 
 
 f Suidas very gravely informs us, that Zoroafter pof- 
 fefibd the miraculous power of breathing out hie foul and 
 inhaling it again as often as he pleafcd. Among other freaks 
 and pranks, he once, it fceras, took it into his head to ex- 
 pire fuddenly in a fuller's fhop. His friends being apprized 
 of his dcccafc, came to fetch away his body ; but on their 
 arrival the dead man was no where to be found. li\ this 
 ftate of uncertainty and fufpence refpecling his fate, Zoro- 
 after kept his friends the full term of feven years ; at the 
 expiration of which he returned to his home, fhook hands 
 with his acquaintance, and wrote a kind of politico-philo- 
 fophical poem, which was publiflicd under the title of 
 Arimajpian Fcrfes,
 
 OF THE EAST. 3I 
 
 This of my perfon next I fhow, off- 
 hand, 
 
 The manner *, how the caufe, why^ here I 
 
 ftand. 
 
 Pop thro' the key-hole with my pUant form 
 I bounc'd, like lightning, or the rattling florm ; 
 My ambient flame each grofler part refin'd. 
 Nor was the fmalleft atom left behind. 
 Drawn by your fame, I hither wing'd my way 
 To fcan the merits of a German Play! 
 
 With more than magic charm this fpeech 
 addreft 
 To care maternal footh'd the matron's breaft. 
 
 What 
 
 * The precifion with which Zoroafter frames his reply, 
 in anfwer to the concluding interrogatory of Lucina's 
 fpeech in the Firft Part of this poem : 
 
 " And hoiv? and ivhy? thou hither cam'llj declait." 
 
 Is ftrictly confonant with the Oriental characler. Homei's 
 heralds and i'peakers acl exaclly on the fame principle, ad- 
 hering almoft to the very letter of the iuftructions^ with 
 which they arc charged.
 
 52 THE WISE MAN 
 
 What female heart might not fuch homage move? 
 What female heart fuch homage not approve ? 
 Still * ring the grateful accents in her ears. 
 Sweet, as the mufic of the heavenly fpheres ! 
 Sweet, as to maids the virgin-vows of love, 
 Witnefs'd by none, except the cooing dove ! 
 Sweet, as the favours Damon fues to gain, 
 No watch, fave -f* Cynthia and her ftarry train I 
 As, friends eluding, thro' the confcious grove 
 At midnight-hour the happy lovers rove ! 
 Sweet, as the kiifes which their raptures feal ; 
 Or, fweeter ftill, the hymeneal peal- 
 When, as from church returns the fimp'ring 
 bride. 
 
 The bells proclaim the deed v^hich night mufl 
 
 hide ! 
 
 Sweet, 
 
 * The angel ended, and in Adam's ear 
 So charming left his voice, that he awhile 
 Thought him Hill fpeaking ; flill flood fix'd to hear. 
 Paradife Loft, B. VIII. v. i. 
 
 f Nodlc quidcm, fed Luna v'ldctj {ci\fidera teftes 
 Intcnduiit oculos. 
 
 Juvenal. Sat. \TII. v. 149.
 
 OF THE EAST. 53 
 
 Sweet, as to widows melting with defire, 
 T\\Q fecond-rites which authorize their fire ! 
 Sweet, as to candidates for ftage renown, 
 The plaudits which the hifs of critics drown. 
 Sweet, as to thofe who write, or * drefs a play. 
 The fame and guineas which their toil repay. 
 
 Yet, though her bofom owns the pleafing 
 
 charm, 
 Nor fears of Munden's lick'rifh tooth alarm ! 
 Still, nicely delicate, her blufhing cheek. 
 And quicken'd pulfe a virtuous foul befpeak ; 
 Nor could fhe bear oh I that fhe could but 
 
 ban I 
 Ought that at fuch ajundlure look'd like man! 
 For, though a fpirit, as it new appear'd. 
 Yet 'twas a fpirit t?ialey and wore a beard ! 
 Add, that endued with necromantic power. 
 
 It wanted but the paffion to devour ! 
 
 A real 
 
 * " She begs to anfwer only for the drcjfmg." 
 
 Prolo)j-ue to "Ibe Wile Man of the E'ln. 
 
 W J J 'f
 
 34 THE WISE MAN 
 
 A real forcerer, not a juggling cheat. 
 Like AvA, fnuffling from his * boafted feat. 
 
 And 
 
 * The whole of Ava Thoana'^ conduci: and difcourfe in 
 his inr -rviews with young Clartncefzrth^ both in the firft 
 and f-jh 't quc/.t acts of The JFife Alan till his final uiidif- 
 gu:f:;meiit, iS avowedly calculated to imprefs the minds of 
 the audience with tlie forth-coming appearance of a fuper- 
 nutmaJ bew.g On his nnl introduction he exprefsly tells 
 Claiw.crfGrth.^ who holds tiie filly doctrine of fupernatural 
 agent V in merited contempt, that " wifer heads than his have 
 " believed in glioih :" and immediately adds, " Whilft 1 
 " v/as Inciting a ic^^ v.-c:ds, to fee if [(o AIunbex ipe> ks 
 the part ; but we have too high an opinion of the fair 
 author's knowledge of idiomatic propriety to fuppofe fhc 
 could be guilty cf this, and above a fcore oi gram.matical 
 errors ftill more flagrant, which occur in tl:e courfe of the 
 reprefentation of the new Comedy ilie inufl have written 
 ivhetbcr) " I remembered tlie charm ; the fpirit cf your lars 
 *' farh.;r appeared /-."/crc' mc" ^iery. Was he contemplating 
 himfeif a the time in a looking glafs -^ In a iuhfcquent 
 pafiagc, in AiSt IV. he fays, i:i reply to Clarcr.crfcrtlrs ur- 
 g;;;;': iblitication, that he \.-c;;ld make good his boall: oi 
 iiLCion;'.- ric fkill, and conjure up the gholt of his dcccafed 
 f.uir.r : '' You mufl be properly jircpared, before your i''^n- 
 *' la.x. '"cs :.-a:i fee ?\n airy fjim^ -a. departed fpirit I'' Tliis 
 'r.vai'iablv maintained a.ud encouracred throuiJ-hout 
 
 u:ca cii! 
 
 6' 
 
 ;hc whole piece, ti:c uuaicnce naturally expect to be gra- 
 
 tilled
 
 OF THE EAST. 35 
 
 And though the Magus promis'd very fair ; 
 Do none ad very foul that deeply fwear ? 
 But then his age ! he would not fure be 
 
 rude ; 
 Yet many ancient men are very lewd I 
 
 But 
 
 'tified with at leaft a few necromantic tricks ; with at leall: 
 the femblance of a ghoft ; with the refufcitation of the father 
 of Clarenceforth in the perfon of a being diflindt from the 
 pretended forcerer. But Ava Thoana^ inftead of fulfilling 
 his promife with the good faith even of a conjuror, has re- 
 courfe to Ihuffling, and by a kind of dramatic conp-dc-maln^ 
 difappoints the expe6lations of the audience, who were led 
 to look for a very different cataftrophe, by appearing in 
 propria perfon a. 
 
 Such is the denouement of a play by the far-famed Kotze- 
 bue, even after it has paffed through the grand alexipharmic 
 and mzgxc filtering -J} one of Mrs. Inchaald's brain ! Extol- 
 led, admired, and almoft deified (for he has been already bap- 
 tized in this couqtry, by the name of the German Shakfpeare)y 
 as is this felf-famc Kotzebue ; to me, I muft candidly confefs, 
 he appears to:be the General M a c K of the Drama j ajid I make 
 no doubt, when the prefent infatuation fhall have in feme 
 meafure fubfided, and this redoubted German is oppofed to 
 our native dramatic forces, under the aufpices of found fenfe 
 and good taffe, he will experience fimiiar defeat, degra- 
 dation, and dilgrace, with his /w/Z/Vrrry prototype. But mure 
 of this in the fequel. 
 
 E 2
 
 36 THE WISE MAN 
 
 But granting this the cafe why need he 
 
 roam. 
 In queft of female prey fo far from home ? 
 Do Indian climes no pretty faces boafl ? 
 No melting beauties grace the Georgian coafl? 
 No blooming damfels, happy Perfia yield ? 
 No maids, Circaffia from her * tented field ? 
 Whence Eaftern courts and Bafhaws with three 
 
 tails ! 
 Supply their Harams at the public fales : 
 Ripe in untafted charms, and youthful flame ; 
 
 Lcfs fair, lefs lovely only than the dame 1 
 
 Yet, will not oft abroad the lover range, 
 And preje?2t for a dtjlaiit good exchange ? 
 Spurn yielding beauty from his loathing arms. 
 To feaft and riot in forbidden charm? ? 
 
 Might 
 
 * The //^r^ci of Clrcafliati Tartars live chiefly in tents, 
 removing from place to place for the bcnenc of ijailurage. 
 Their females arc in hi2;h cftimation for their perfonal 
 charms : on which account the Eaftern Icraglios arc chiefly 
 fupplicd with young virgins from this and the neighbouring 
 country of Georgia.
 
 QF THE EAST. 37 
 
 Might not her virtue not that chafle renown. 
 Which forms the faireft jewel m her crown ! 
 Might this not tempt the hoary fage to fin, 
 To feize by force, what prayers could never 
 
 win ? 
 As mofl we prize what deareft we obtain. 
 And fcorn the triumph, which we cheaply 
 
 gain ! 
 
 Thus m her mind the dubious caufe fhe 
 
 weighs: 
 Nor this, now that way, wild conjedure 
 
 ftrays ; 
 Now hopes and fears alternate fall and rife ; 
 Alternate brighten and bedim her eyes ; 
 Till, faintly founding on the echoing gale, 
 The words ''^.A German Play f' decide the 
 
 fcale. 
 
 THE
 
 THE 
 
 WISE MAN OF THE EAST-, 
 
 THE APPARITION OF 
 
 ZOROASTER: 
 
 THE SON OF OROMASES, &c. 
 
 PART THE THIRD, 
 
 Collected now the matron iindifmay'd 
 Summons her native courage to her aid ; 
 Then mnidful of her foul with pious 
 
 care 
 Ejaculates a fhort, but fervent prayer; 
 
 Which
 
 OF THE EAST. 39 
 
 Which by her grandam taught, with potent 
 
 charm 
 Defends from witchcraft and from ghoflly 
 
 harm ! 
 The fame which Brothers at his * country- 
 feat 
 Fails not each morn and evening to repeat ! 
 Which f Poor -He LP hums to faints devout 
 
 that draw 
 For texts of fcripture and for crowns of flraw ! 
 
 This 
 
 * Iflijigton mad-houfe, to which place this anointed 
 prophet has very properly been fent for the benefit of the 
 
 f The afllimed appellation of another mad propliet, who 
 difpenfes ghoftly comfort in the vicinity of Bloomfbury- 
 market. It is the prailice of this fanatic to prefcnt his 
 vilitors, for a proper fee, with choice fcraps of fcripture 
 and Jeruflilem crowns made of flraw, which they dip for out 
 of a little bag, after the manner of our itinerant retailers of 
 ginger-bread-nuts at country-fairs. One of thefe precious 
 Jerufalem-crowns, I und^rftand, was beftov/ed with great 
 folemnity upon a certain illuflrious perfonage, after the 
 lofs of what the generality of my readers v/ould be apt to 
 fhinlc an infinitely more valuable confidcration.
 
 40 THE WISE MAN 
 
 This office done to Heav'n fhe leaves tlie reft. 
 And boldly thus the Indian Sire add reft : 
 
 Great fpirit of that god-like fage of yore ! 
 Whofe magic form I never faw before ; 
 Though oft thy name in thefe delighted ears 
 Has grateful founded in my infant years : 
 Has Inchbald's fame then reach'd the lofty 
 
 ikies ? 
 And is fhe deified before fhe dies : 
 Do Gods and Demi-gods on earth defcend, 
 To fee the dramas which this hand has penn'd? 
 Do bleft Immortals on their thrones perufe 
 The clafTic works of Inchbald's modcft Mufe? 
 Does Zoroaster hither wing his way, 
 To learn how I can drefs a German Play ? 
 
 * Or com'ft Thou rather from fome foreign 
 land, 
 To claim the aid of myobftetric hand ? 
 
 That 
 
 * Should ariy of my readers he apt to objeil: to the length 
 of thc-ic Ipccchcs, as liktl}' to protrad the ijitcrvicw hetween 
 
 Zoroaflcr
 
 OF THE EAST. ^1 
 
 That land, which from a ftock that never falls, 
 Supphes our own with plays and nurfery tales I 
 Has that Great Man^ behind whofe fev'n-fold 
 
 fhleld, 
 Inchbald has ivon^ nor doubts to * keep the 
 
 field! 
 Whofe Mufe with num'rous litter breeds apace, 
 Faftcr than conies, or the fwinifh race ! 
 Prolific, as the falling dews of night, 
 That bring forth ioad-Jlooh with the morning 
 
 light ! 
 Say, has his brain another bantliiig bred ? 
 Say, is his genius brought again to-bed ? 
 
 And 
 
 Zoroafter and the heroine of this poem beyond the canonical 
 hours prefcribed fdr ghoflly vifitations, I muft beg leave to 
 remind them, that the nights have now nearly rcaclicci their 
 greateft length. 
 
 * The writer of the har7nlefs prologue to T'u J-'lf: Man 
 'f the Eajl cxprcfsly tells us, that, 
 
 '* behind Great K.^tzebae's niicl'l, 
 ^' The L;!dv [.^"lii;';!, and h'^pc;^ to Avj/; x^t li.-.;-." 
 
 F ^
 
 42 THE WISE MAN 
 
 And com'fl thou my affiflance to obtain 
 To a(St the midwife to his teeming brain ? 
 To lick the cub, ill-fhapen, I confefs, 
 And bring it forward in an EngUfh drefs ? 
 To reap frefh laurels for my learned brows, 
 Fairer than thofe, which " * crown'd my lafl 
 year's Vows I" 
 
 A paufe enfued for now the matron's voice 
 Not, as before, from hoarfenefs, ftopt from 
 
 choice i 
 For, modefl to a fault ! it griev'd the dame 
 To blow herfelf the trumpet of her fame. 
 Silent fhe lay, and what may well appear 
 A wonder lefs difpos'd to talk than ^ear ! 
 
 The fage beholds her with unfeign'd fur- 
 prize, 
 And fcarce believes the witnefs of his eyes. 
 
 Thought- 
 
 * Parodied from the Proloo;ue.
 
 OF THE EAST. 4J^ 
 
 Thoughtful the fadt he ponders o'er and o'er, 
 As tho' he ne'er had feen the hke before ! 
 Till, by proof pofitive from doubt releas'd. 
 He owns, that miracles not yet have ceas'd ! 
 And now a fpeech, Icfs complimental fram'd, 
 Than bluntly honeft, thus his thoughts pro- 
 claim'd: 
 
 'Tis true, fair dame ! he cries I came 
 from far, 
 And hither came, directed by your ftar ! 
 As late the earth I travers'd, to and fro*, 
 To learn the newefl news of things below ; 
 To hear of battles fought, and warriors flain ; 
 For little elfe your public prints contain ! 
 To read of * famine, murder, plague, and pefl; 
 And what man-butcher ats his part the befl ! 
 
 (Such 
 
 * " From plague, peflilence, and famine j from battle 
 
 " and murder, and from fuddcn death ; Good Lord ! dcli- 
 
 " ver 5," 
 
 Litany of the Church of England. 
 
 F2
 
 .^4 THE WISE MAN 
 
 (Such is my wont as often np and down, 
 Invifible, I fannter through the town ) 
 As ^hus the flreets I pac'd iiifludlous thought, 
 My eye 'nquifitive your play-bill caught: 
 The title flrait my whole attention drew 
 A it7/e man in a play is fomething new ! 
 Nay more my curious wonder to engage 
 IN'Iy fellow-countryman an Eajlern Sage ! 
 And in a co7nedv to acl his part, 
 With all of Inch bald's ^'Nature, all htr /Irt I 
 What could I, Madam, under this difguife 
 What, but a libel on my ^cOi furmize ? 
 Perhaps, mvfelf, or pupil of my fchcol, 
 Exhi.iied t^ play the public fool ! 
 Perhaps, the whole artillery of your wit 
 Emulcy'd to force cm Magi to fubmit ! 
 Perhaps, iiiaili'd battVies, on a given fign, 
 Ready to open, and mow down our line ! 
 
 This 
 
 ^' AUudir.g to Nature and Jrt, tl;t Ut:e of one of Mrs. 
 Ikchb ALij's novels.
 
 OF THE EAST. 45. 
 
 This thought might well alarm, and fear 
 create. 
 Not for myfelf, but for my followers' fate. 
 'Tis true, I might with eafe, if fo difpos'd, 
 Your fchemes have baffled, and your hopes 
 
 fore-clos'd ; 
 Might, with a word, have cnus'd my fire to fall. 
 And burn up adtors, audience, houfe, and all ! 
 Not even yourfelf, my fury could withftand. 
 Had I unbar'd my dread, avenging hand ! 
 But, fcorning to employ fuch magic force, 
 I left your play to take its natural courfe. 
 
 Well, then, I faw your play, and mufl 
 declare 
 I found my fears were vain, and light as air! 
 Found, what your bills a comedy proclaim, 
 Had nothing o^ Thalia, but the name. 
 No point, no force, no humour could I trace. 
 To raile a fmile, and dimple o'er the flice. 
 Some lame attempts, indeed, at wit you tried; 
 But lame they were, and nervelefs turn'd aiide. 
 
 No
 
 46 THE WISE MAN 
 
 No whizzing arrows through the air refound ; 
 But fpeiit they fall, and * harmlcfs llrike the 
 ground ! 
 
 Your (a) ^aker-fcenes a barren wit betray. 
 And Rachel Starch had nearly damn'd your 
 play. 
 
 Even 
 
 * tclumque imbcllc fine iclu. 
 
 ViRG. ^neid, II. v. 544. 
 
 (rt) A lamer attempt at wit, coupled with ex ploded pre- 
 judices, and a fpirit of illiberality, unworthy the bodJJcd 
 iliuminatio?:, either of the author, or of the adapter of the 
 piece, I never witnefied, than the Nczv Comedy prefents 
 throughout the whole of the under-plot. With the excep- 
 tion of two or three repartees, which went off with a icind 
 of meretric'ous eclat, not on occount of their humour, hut 
 their g>'cjfnefs ; the fcveral fcenes in which the refpectablc 
 fociety of the Cankers refpe(lablc, I call them, not in re- 
 ference to their religious tenets (that confideration I wave 
 hi toto), but highly rci"pe(^table, as meritorious members of 
 civil community are pofitively dragged forth why, and 
 v/herefore, the author only knows ; and perhaps not even 
 the author ; for the intereft of the piece docs not require 
 their appearance with the exception, I repeat it, of a few 
 inddhate equivoques, diilillcd from joe Alillcr's jcfl-book, 
 
 thcfc
 
 OF THE EAST. 47 
 
 Even at that awful crifis mark the deed ! ^ 
 I flood your befl of friends a friend in need! [ 
 Clapp'd (b) with both hands, and bade the 
 
 J 
 
 play proceed. 
 
 Nor 
 
 thefe fcencs exhibit a heterogeneous mafs of the dulieft, 
 \ ileft, the moft infamous and fcandalous trafh, that ever 
 difgraccd the modern ftage. In this light they were very 
 properly regarded by the informed part of the audience, 
 vs'lio exprefl'ed their difapprobation on its firft produ<5lion, 
 in llich loudj reiterated, and prolonged murmuxs, that the 
 performance was for a confiderable time fufpended ; and but 
 for the fuccefsful ruje tie guerre of Mrs.iVlATTOCKs, who 
 immediately cut (to vSc a technical term) from the vapid 
 farrago of ribaldry file was prepared to utter, into a high- 
 Hown panegyric on the charaler of the Britifh merchant, 
 there is no doubt but tlie actors would have been fairly 
 Infled oft' the ftage. Thefe unequivocal omens of condem- 
 liation, iffued under the edict of good-fenfe and good-tafte, 
 on the part of the audience, produced, as might naturally 
 be cxpe(R:cd, coiifiderable curtailments on the fecond repre- 
 fentation. Bat, to render the improvement complete, it 
 would be neceflary to nevz-PTiOdel the whole of this incon- 
 gruous under-plot. In its prefent ftate, it poftlfTes only 
 the negative merit of not being To tediouily execrable as in 
 -.ts original form. 
 
 The confide ration of this fubject leads me to offer a fcv/ 
 remarks on the conduct of our diurnal print?, with reipecl 
 
 to
 
 48 THE WISE MAN 
 
 Nor can I, Madam, more your hero prize, 
 Your cimjiing-man I cannot call him iiolfe ! 
 
 Ill 
 
 to what they afFet to call their theatrical critiques. The 
 rapid, and uniformly (even with the regularity of fyftem) 
 progreflive decline of good tafte, found-judgment, culti- 
 vated critical acumen^ and elegance, indeed I might rather 
 fay, correcinefs of ftyle for our journals are bungled together 
 with a want of even grammatical knowledge of the lan- 
 guage in our public news-papers, difcovers itfelf every day 
 more glaringly. Nor is this, indeed, to be wondered at, 
 when v/e refle6l into what hands many of thcfe ephemeral 
 vehicles of information have fallen ! not to mention the con- 
 fequences oi finijier influence, which atiing in co-operation 
 with dullncfs, felf-defeating avarice, and low-cunning for- 
 didnefs of mind, beats up for recruits among the moft def- 
 picable refufe of the Grub-ftreet literary fquad. Some of 
 thefe 1 know, who can fcarcely lay claim to the education 
 of a common parifh-fchool ; yet are as big, withall, in their 
 own conceit, and, what is more to the purpofe, in the efti- 
 mation of their equally ftupid employers, as the moft ap- 
 proved veterans of literature : fuch is the impartial difpen- 
 fation of Providence, which kindly proportions our vanity 
 to our ignorance ! Hence they are at once as light and as 
 inflated as a blauucr: hence, totally unconfcious of fuch a 
 principle as critical integrity, thcv experience no revolting 
 lenfations of iiigenuous fhamc in the traffic of literary prolti- 
 tution : they require not even managc7:ient on the part of the 
 perfon who needs thuir affillance in the dirty for vices of vc- 
 
 nalitv.
 
 OF THE EAST. 49 
 
 111 were that name beftow'd, where whim and 
 
 freak 
 A childifh foul and idiot's brain befpeak ; 
 
 One, 
 
 jiality. Hence we fee the moft rank and fulfome encomi- 
 ums pafled in our newspaper-critiques upon the vile abor- 
 tions, particularly in the line of after-pieces, which the 
 ftage ever and anon vomits forth, and of which the prefent 
 feafon has not been deftitute. Men of real genius and ac- 
 quirements will neither condefcend to turn toad-eaters to 
 witlefs play-wrights ; nor will they be perfuaded to zGt in 
 concert with fuch difgraceful auxiliaries. 
 
 Such being the cafe, it is the lefs a matter of furprize, 
 that even the difgraceful ribaldry above animadveted upon, 
 fhould meet with advocates and i'upporters among the manu- 
 faiSturers of our public prints ; particularly in one paper, 
 equally notorious for its dulnefs and its arrogance. I muft, 
 however, do the Editors of The Triic-Briton and The 
 Morning PofI the juftice to declare, that they difplayed, in 
 their reports of the new play, an adequate fenfe of moral 
 redlitude, as well as of the refpcil due to their ov/n chan^.c- 
 ters, as public cenfors, by reprobating this vile compound 
 of dulnefs and illiberality wich the warmth and hcneft in- 
 d'gnation it fo eminently deferver. The Morning Pojf^ m 
 particular, has a rem.ark, for which 1 give the writer great 
 credit. He obferves, " that as the members of the fociery 
 " of Qi_!?Jcers are not in the habit of frequenting th^ 
 " theatres, it becomes the duty of public writers to corr.'e 
 " forward in their vindication, whenever they are wantcr.ly 
 
 G ' J/a?ced
 
 50 THE WISE MAN 
 
 One, who from mere (<:) caprice muft pafs for 
 
 dead ; 
 And leaves his injur'd friend to beg his bread! 
 
 Who 
 
 " dragged forth to public ridicule, in their abfence ; and 
 *' cowardly f as well as illiberally^ held up to public animad- 
 *' verfion, without any means of defence on their part." 
 Indeed I muft add, that in the department of theatrical 
 criticifm, the True Briton and Morning Poji maintain a de- 
 cided fuperiority over their diurnal co-tcmporarics. 
 
 As a proof, however, that the general charge oi venalit)' 
 which I have brought againft our public print'? is not vaguic 
 and iil-founded ; it defervcs to be noticed, that thefe very 
 two papers, after fo unequivocally flating their difapproba^ 
 tion of the introdudtion of this ribaldry upon the Quakers, 
 infertcd in common v/itli the 'reft of their compatriot?, 
 piijf-paragraph^ intimating, that " a very illiberal and un- 
 " jujl report had been propagated againft the author of the 
 '^ Ava' CofnCi'Iy^ as though (he had intended a fevere cenfure 
 *' on tliat refpc^tabie focicty the Qiiakers, .?cc.'"' And thi-s 
 paragraph evidently paid for by the theatre, for it was 
 verbatim the fame in all the prints, appeared in the Morning 
 Po/l and -I'ruc Btit'jn of the fame day, which contained the 
 identical report, here faid to be highly illiberal and iinjuj}. 
 So much for news-paper jufticc and confiftency ! 
 
 Krc we fiiiallv difnifs tins fubjccl:, we muft obfcrvc, that 
 I\lis. MAT'i'OCK.s, in her perfonification oi Rachel Starchy 
 is by far toj pert and fiinpaut for the uuaker-characlcr.
 
 OF THE EAST. 5I 
 
 Who nearly brings to an fdj untimely end 
 His own, and eke the offspring of his friend 1 
 
 Who 
 
 {b) feci quod et ipse benignus. 
 
 Every theatrical production, unlefs it be a downright out- 
 rage of good-manners and good-tafte, ought, in my opinion, 
 to claim a fair, candid, and perfect hearing. 
 
 (c) Nothing can be more unworthy the charaftcr of a 
 U'lje-Man, and, confidered in relation to its aclual, but ef- 
 pecially \ii probable confequences, more unjuftifiable, thaa 
 tliat part of the Elder Clarencefortk's (the pretended Ava 
 Thoana) conduft, which conftitutes the leading incident, 
 whereon hinges the entire plot of the New Comedy. His 
 houfe happening to be burnt down the very night, in the 
 evening ol which Metland puts into his hands his whole for- 
 tune amounting to isoooi. (but for which the other is too 
 bufv to give a receipt, though not too bufy to pocket the 
 moncv 1 and the old fellow narrowly efcaping with his life, 
 by means of fome under-ground communication knovn only 
 to himfelf (perhaps he got into the common-fewer!) this 
 u-ife-man, to indulge a hlly whim of running about tl;e town 
 Die c\(r pafTes a wlioie twelve-month for dead. His fon of 
 courlc, as the lawtul heir, comes into immediate poileliion 
 of his citate ; and takes upon himfelf the wliole manage- 
 mciit of liis father's mercantile concerns, which wo are given 
 to underlcand, arc of tlie molt cxteiu'ivc nature, but wliicli 
 tiic folly and dilhpated courfes of this tlionu-iitlcTs vou.ng 
 man fecm fikelv very foon to reduce to utter ruin. In tnc 
 ni'jaa time, M^luuut liaving received no vonchcrs for In. 
 
 120001
 
 ^2 THE WISE MAN 
 
 Who, like grimalkin fcenting out a moufe. 
 Dodges (/) his hopeful fon from houfe to houfe: 
 
 On 
 
 12000I. is in^'olved in the deepeft diftrefs, and obliged to 
 turn hackney-writer in his old age to keep himfelf and 
 wife from flarvation. But the profits of his penmanfhip not 
 being adequate to his fupport, the deficiency mull be made 
 good by a proportion of the pay of his fon, who is an enfign 
 in the army, and the wages of his daughter, who is waiting- 
 raaid to a lady of quality, The wise-vian al! this time is 
 well-informed of the diflrefs under which his dear friend 
 Metland labours, and which, indeed, is entirely owing to 
 his own whim of paffing tor dead, without returning his 
 friend's money, or furnifliing him with documents to fub- 
 flantiate his claim ; but he very wijely confiders, [that any 
 friendly interference of this kind would defeat his mad 
 fclieme of beinj reputed dead, and tlicrchire leaves the 
 Medands to ffruggle with poverty and wretchednefs as well 
 ;:s they Ccm. Such, I fu])pofe, is Kotzcbue"s lublime con- 
 cc])tion oi wifdom. ! 
 
 yd) On liie firft repicrcntation of the New Corned)', the 
 cataflrophe liere alluded to, was within a very ace of being 
 acconiphfhcd ; ElU-n having aciually, in confcquence of the 
 tiijdiidoned conduf-t of the wtje-77ians ft)n towards her, 
 th.c-vii herfelt into ilic Thames; wlience, in the very nick 
 ut time, Ihc is relcued by the old conjuror, 'i'hc fon, on 
 ricc:\u'ig the iiitcliiPjCnce, relolves to add fmcide to his 
 other cii;aes, ironi Nsiijcli he is only dilluadcd by the /^^;- 
 
 frcid
 
 OF THE EAST. 53 
 
 On trifling caufes, ftill renews his fearch ; 
 
 But when moil wanted leaves him in the lurch ! 
 
 Then laftly, in the very nick of time ; j 
 
 The lady (/) mad ; the fon involv'd in crime ; 
 
 The elder Metlands raving for defpair, 
 
 And enfign Charles for-^ Ruth, the quaker fair! 
 
 Cloles the farce, by throwing ofFdifguife; "I 
 
 BldsEUen, like himfelf, from (g) death arife ! I 
 
 And wedlock's Gordian-knot between two 
 
 couples ties. J 
 
 But 
 
 froid o{ Timothy Starchy who afks him, in what burying- 
 ground he means to have his carcafe interred ? (after blow- 
 ing out his brains) and who are to be his pall-bearers ? The 
 body of Ellen was on the firft night exhibited, ncvvly taken 
 out of tlic river, on a fliutter ; but the difguftfulnefs of the 
 fcene, added to the abfurdity of preaching over the poor 
 girl for nearly an hour, inllead of putting in practice the 
 mode of treatment recommended in fuch cafes by the Hu- 
 mane Soc'iety, being too glaring to pafs, even in a plav ma~ 
 nuj'aclurtd from Kotzcbuc ; this part of the farce has been 
 very properly omitted in the future reprefentations. 
 
 ye) The Wife-Man exprefsly brags that he keeps a flriO: 
 watch over his fon, and hunts himoni e\ery Avhcrc ; and yet at 
 themuft, criiical moment, when his fon takes thedifhonourable 
 Itep, which leads to all the raifery fet forth in the preceding 
 
 note ;
 
 > 
 
 54 THE WISE MAN 
 
 But whether Dad avows himfelf too late ? 
 Whether the fon reftores the fire's eflate ? 
 Or keeps it now that Dad beftows a > 
 
 bride 
 For lymgs-m and chrijlenings to provide r 
 The drama fays not nor can I decide. 
 
 Shall 
 
 note; a flep, of w!nch the father is in a great mcafurc ap- 
 prized the old zoife-acre, with his ufual unwillingnefs to 
 prevent mifchict, does not interfere in the lemotcft manner 
 to fave Ellen from his fon's bafenefs, tliough he afterwards 
 explicitly declares, that he knew of his taking her to a hcnjc 
 of ill fame! But iht great genius of Kotzebue is inadequate-: 
 to the tafk of dcpifting a fcene of cxquifite dillrefs, witlioui. 
 paving the way to it by the moll flagrant abfurditics, incon- 
 fiflencies, and contradiclions I We caniiot htjlp animad- 
 verting in this place on the incongruous blunder, (for it de- 
 I'erves no other name) which Kotzebue commits, by making 
 Ellen, after repeatedly and folemnly rctufing to tell her name 
 to Clarenceforth^ permit that young man to be her compa- 
 nion in the coach ; which, had it taken l'.ii:n to ilic place 
 whither fhe herfelf directed, mull immediately have reveal- 
 ed, not only the name, but the rcfidence and circumltaiices 
 of her family, 
 
 i^f) It having been found inconvenient in the reprcfcn- 
 tation, lor Ellen to throw hcrfelf into the water ; recourle is 
 had to a milder fubPututc ; and fhe now goes inrul^ inllead ot 
 drowning herfelf.
 
 OF THE EAST* 55 
 
 Shall fuch a man for wife and prudent pafs, 
 Becaufe a lion*s fkin bedecks the afs ! 
 Is then his folly, or his crime the lefs, 
 Becaufe the dotard wears a fage's drefs ? 
 What ! though he wield his cane with grace- 
 ful eafe ? 
 Emblem of cane Theurgick, fraught with 
 (/^) cheefe ! 
 
 (,,j) Scarcely half an hour before Ellen s trandation from a 
 fick-bed to the happv Ibte of a bride, the wife-man informs 
 us that the phyhcians have given her up; the lady being, as 
 we before remarked, mad, with refpecl: to her mind ; and 
 her bodily frame having fuftained nearly an equal fhock. 
 
 [li] Inftcad of a ftaff, the Magi carried a cane, the top o 
 which was hollo\\', for the purpofe of containing their diet, 
 confiding chiefly of herbs and cheefe. MuNDEN, who 
 generally is remarkable for dreffing his charafters well, ap- 
 pears with a large cane in his hand, the top of which comes 
 nearly to the level of his nofe : but whether it is furnilhed 
 with cheefe, wc cannot pretend to fa}-. 
 
 It is unncceffiiry to add, that none of the harmlefs plea- 
 fantry in \v'hich we have indulged in our flri61ures upon this 
 pretended Wife Man, are intended to convey the flighteft 
 farcafm on the rcfpetlable performer, who perfonates the 
 char^tfer of Ava Thouna. Mr. Munoen, in our opinion, 
 
 is
 
 56 THE WISE MAN 
 
 What ! though as rites {/) initiative require, 
 He pafs'd through burnings, and was purg'd 
 
 by fire ? 
 What ! though obfervant of prophetic lay 
 "The old wife-acre Q!) fnatch'd himfelf away ? 
 What ! though delivered from the fcorching 
 
 flame, 
 He dropt his own, and took a fIJ barbarous 
 
 name ? 
 What ! though he afterwards alive appear. 
 Like me, up-rifing from the funeral (^m) bier ? 
 
 No 
 
 is one of the moil valuable aftors the flagc can boafl. If, in 
 his delineation of the Wife Man foinc ludicrous traits occa- 
 fionally occur, we believe this to be ahnoft infeparablc from 
 the confcioufuefs ot the filly and ridiculous character he 
 iuftains. 
 
 {i) Thefe initiative rites confided of t^\'elve differf-nt de- 
 grees of mortification, amongfl which arc cxjjrcfsly men- 
 tioned, burning, blows, &c. 
 
 (Ji) This is borrowed from the Oracles of ZoroaRcr. 
 
 (/) This idea is -AjtucVeJprit upon another ot thefc oracles. 
 
 (m) Plato informs us that Zoroailer came to life again, after 
 he had been dead ten da)s, and hid out o.n his tuncral pile.
 
 OF THE EAST. ^y 
 
 No adept /6^, to pafs the central fpacc, 
 
 Where * un-zon'd Gods the fev'n-fold chain 
 embrace ! 
 
 Where fprings the fount of light, which am- 
 bient hurl'd 
 
 Pervades the upper and the lower world j 
 
 No votary he of wifdoHi's hallow 'd fchool j 
 
 To Reafon's eye he ftands confeft a fool ! 
 
 Not even his claim to cunning I admit ; 
 
 His cunning problematic as his wit. 
 
 With hellebore the moon-ftruck idiot purge ; 
 
 Give him clean flraw, flrait-waiflcoat, and 
 the fcourge ! 
 
 As little In your Rale can I admire ; 
 The hopeful fon of fuch a hopeful lire ! 
 Gay, thoughtlcfs, lavlHi that I freely pafs j 
 'Tis fafhion faOiion too, to keep a lafs. 
 
 But 
 
 * There were fwo clafTes of ilciries in t'hc CLalJuic {\L 
 tern; the un-zonrd, \-;\\o ^vereoi a f-riprii'M . ywX \\\t zoned, 
 of a fubordinatp, rank. 
 
 II
 
 5$ THE WISE MAN 
 
 But to his vices not one foil appears ; 
 He's pliing'd in bafenefs to his very ears. 
 Hard-hearted villain ! can no honour bind ? 
 No fenfc of gratitude control thy mind ? 
 Her would' fl thou ruin ? her ! who wrongs 
 
 forgave, 
 And comes, thy guardian-angcl, thee to fave! 
 Think'fl thou, Td give thee Ellen for a wife ? 
 No I let me fee thee firil: * reform thy life ! 
 
 Next for your Metlands briefly let me 
 fc an 
 Their feveral merits, and proceed by plan. 
 The mother, gentle dame ! is good enough : 
 The father much too telly, much too rough. 
 
 I can't 
 
 [o) The proccfs of rcforniaiion in our J]a;;c libertines, -o 
 qenerallv as rapid as the puritanical lyflcmot holincfs anionn- 
 religious fetls ; where repentance of (in, pardon of ditto, 
 juiliiication, fanftification, complete redemption, and CoA 
 knows what elfc---are all the work ot a nioineni. But, per- 
 haps, this is iuleparablc from tlic very nature oi dramatic 
 couipohiion.
 
 OF THE EAST, 59 
 
 I cin't approve his * language to his child - 
 Her morals blamelefs, and her temper mild ! 
 Such condu'il, as this language would pro- 
 claim, 
 Has many a girl confirm'd In gulit and fhame. 
 And then his probity's fo over-grown. 
 Poor, honeft man I he dare not claim his own. 
 
 The fon, a foldier, frank in fpeech and 
 thought. 
 Speaks nobly, as a Brltifli foldier ought. 
 
 But 
 
 * From a firm conviftion, that parental aufterity has fre- 
 quently proved the occasion of plunging a penitent female, 
 who may have been feduced into a firjl crime, into a conti- 
 nuance and perfeverance in guilt, even for life ; we cannot 
 retrain from reprobating the language which Metland, the 
 father, Iiolds out to his lovely daughter, from the mere idea 
 of the pofiibility of her falling into indifcretion : " In that 
 " cafe, (he fays) neither to her mind or perfon am I a pro- 
 " teclor ; nor is this houfc her home !'* Is this the 
 language of etiHghtencd parental alFeftion ? '"Tis what we 
 sievcr fiiould have expected from Kotzebuc.
 
 6o THE WISE MAN 
 
 But much the caufe perplex'd me: why, the 
 
 youth 
 Is fo *bewitch'd with that prim i'pw{\:erRuth? 
 Some anc:cdote3 of former days fhonld tell, 
 How firfl they met, and zv^jv in love they fell. 
 But here the authoi leaves us in the dark 
 Perhaps they ^roll'd together in the Park ; 
 Perhaps, his fcarlet-coat the dr.mfel fir'd, 
 And he the damfel's prudlfh drefs admir'd. 
 Perhaps, they found it ratlier warm above I 
 So drank 2ifAlibul\ and then made love ! 
 As to congenial hearts^ that kindly beat 
 In unifon, and fympathetic meet , 
 No proof of that, no fymptom can we trace, 
 I fear, they only know each other' s/i/^^ / 
 
 This 
 
 * We have already amply animadvciffd on the infipi- 
 dity of the under-put in this iirange comedy: we f}i.all 
 thc.efcr^;, in this place only rcM;;ark, that t.iC author leaves us 
 totally in the dark as to the balis ou which young M''land's 
 pafiion for Rulk is founded ; nor do wc receive th. Hightell 
 j.Mroiniacion how they firll came into habits of intlmacv.
 
 OF THE EAST. 6l 
 
 This finks his character ; nor does the eafe 
 With which he yields to * Rachel's meannefs 
 
 pleafe -, 
 Nor when he feeks his rival to entrap, 
 Is this, methinks, a feather in his cap. 
 
 Ellen, I own, is my peculiar care ; 
 Ellen is all that's lovely ! all that's fair ! 
 No fpot, no blen-i(h 'tis a perfel whole j; 
 Not fnow more pure, and virgin is her foul ! 
 Tender and gentle, as the voice of love ! 
 And innocf nt and guilel<:fs as the dove ! 
 Graceful in adion, and in thought refin'd; 
 She looks of heav'n 1 and heav'n adorns her 
 mind ! 
 
 Speaks, 
 
 * This alludes to the plot, into which the mother of 
 Ruth inveigles the lover of that lady, to extort a bond of 
 ^oool. from Clarenceforth, as a compenfation for a breach of 
 marriage. This difgraccful fccneis, with refpett to its prin- 
 cipal features, omitted fmce the firfl reprefentatign.
 
 ()2 THE WISE MAN 
 
 Speaks, as wliea cherubs breathe their fofteit 
 
 notes. 
 And borne on fpicy gales the mufic floats I 
 * Sweet, lovely angel ! late may kindred fkies 
 Reclaim thee back from our admiring eyes I 
 
 Your Lady Mary griev'd I am to fliy, 
 That *' fuch things are I" fupports her rank 
 by play ! 
 
 A titled- 
 
 -f- The author fpeaks in thcfe two lines. Such lapfes 
 will occafionally occur. 
 
 We would juil remark, with all due fubmifTion to the fu- 
 
 perior judgment of the other fex, whofe authority mufl be 
 acknowlcd^c^cd paraviount in cafes of this nature, that 
 Ellen s drcfs does not to us appear fufliciently falhion- 
 able for a female, who is promoted to tlie honourable 
 
 pofl of being companion to a lady of qualify Lady 
 
 Mary Diamond exprcfs'.y mcn.tions tliat fhc fufTcrs //,./? to 
 ride by her fide through the flreets; and according (rj her ov.*n 
 declaration makes ufe of her as a decoy duck to iiivcigle by 
 her attractions )'oung men of fortune to her card-particj 
 Ellen is habited too much in the fivle of a common waitimi- 
 
 *von:an.
 
 OF THE EAST/ 6^ 
 
 A titled-Sharper'y loft to virtuous fliattte, 
 Whom hone, I fear, Uut * Ken yon can re- 
 claim ! 
 But then her portrait is not ftriilly true ; 
 pier t proxy better ats, than Inchbald drew. 
 When file attempts my Elkrrw | beguile, 
 Her want of penetration bids me ftnii'e. 
 
 Thinks 
 
 * Lord Kenyan s declaration on this fubje6V, ifi the 
 conrfe of certain trials cf no very diftant date, reflel;s great 
 lionoiir on his uprightnefs. 
 
 t Mrs. Davenport. This atlrefs pofTefiei the merit 
 which in the theatrical proieflion is no CGTurzon one, ot 
 forming a right judgment of her own talents. She never 
 feeks to Hep out ot her proper fphere auid line of acting. 
 We confider her pertorniances entitled to confiderablc con>- 
 mendation. 
 
 ^ The whole of this fcene between Lady Mary Dia^ 
 moid and the lovely Ellen is vilely unnaturaL That a wo- 
 inan of il^e world, like Lady Diamond, Ihould after fuch 
 repeated proofs of ElUn's- attachment to Ciarenceforth 
 attev Ticr repeated reiufal to be an accomplice in {o infamous 
 a fchemr, of phnder, thatniy k'.Jy after all this, fnouldput iiito 
 her JiasRls the loaded dice, and the letter detailing the pir- 
 ruuccried pkiu cf her iovrr.> ruin tlds, 1 lay, is fuch a 
 t'hu-iiio; cutrag^o of nature and ol coninion Icnfe, that wc ;tre
 
 64 THE WISE MAN 
 
 Thinks fhe that //<? fvveet and lovely maid! 
 Will league with her ^her foul defigns will 
 
 aid? 
 Black as My Lady is ; her fubtle pate 
 Should better Ellen s look and heart tranflate. 
 Your Lawyer has, what Lawyers want a 
 
 heart ! 
 No wonder then he * blunders in his part. 
 But here no obloquy on you I mean -, 
 'Tis well you do not comprehend the fcene. 
 
 Banhwell 
 
 perfuaded no dramatiil but a Kotzebuc, could ever have en- 
 tertained a thought of fo mad a procedure. But this is an- 
 other inftance of the want of reflc6lion, confiflency, and inge- 
 nuity, with which Kotzebue condufts the plot of his dramas. 
 * We believeit is cuflomary on all occafions, when a 
 fcizure of goods is made, for a fecond perfon, bcfides the 
 attorney, (we believe a broker,) to aHifl at making out th^ 
 inventory. But in the Wijc Man of the Eajl, where no 
 regard is paid to cullom or propiiet) , from firft to lall, Mr, 
 Lawley, the attorney, comes to execute this office without 
 any afliilant. We arc liappy to au.nir irom this miftake, 
 that Mrs. Inchhald has never acquired am' praclical and 
 cxperiiiicntal knowledge upon this point.
 
 OF THE EAST. 6$ 
 
 Bankwell is firm and ftaunch in honour's caufe. 
 And meets, whene'er he fpeaks, fincere ap- 
 plaufe. 
 
 Thus, Madam, as becomes an honefl mind, 
 I've freely cenfur'd, and the caufe affigii'd. 
 I hope relying on your well-known fenfe 
 My rigid candour will not give offence. 
 For nothing farther from my thoughts can 
 
 fwerve. 
 Than to offend, where mofl I wifh to ferve. 
 'Tis now for you and fhould your plea fuc- 
 
 ceed 
 To prove me wrong, I'll gladly " Guilty" 
 
 plead. 
 
 THE
 
 meamaaasB 
 
 THB 
 
 n^ISE MAN OF THE EAST; 
 
 R 
 
 THE APPARITION OF 
 
 O R O A S T E R, 
 
 THE SON OF OROMASES, &c. 
 
 PART THE FOURTH, 
 
 1 HE matron half fupprefs'd a riilng figh, 
 And wip'd a trembling drop that dimm'd her 
 
 eye, 
 Then, gathering courage, nobly fcorns to 
 
 yield. 
 Nor doubts by flratagem to keep the field. 
 
 For,
 
 68 THE WISE MAN 
 
 For, as tranllator, well ihe knew the art. 
 To ihlft her ground, and play a double part ; 
 To ycev with ev*ry wind, and ride the florm, 
 Like Proteus, changing into ev'ry form. 
 The magic buckler of her German friend 
 Will ferve or to attack, or to defend ! 
 
 I own fhe cries fome faults my p/aj/ may 
 {how ; 
 it * 'Xhe fmalleft fpeck is vifible on fnow !" 
 Some little peccadillos may be feen, 
 For cro\vs to peck at, and iui dogs to glean. 
 Some hufks of bran may pifs my rapper fieve ; 
 How elfe could editors and critics live ? 
 How elfe could poets and reviewers dine. 
 Did they not feed en hufks, and mefs with 
 
 fwine ? 
 Some puckers, out of plait, may fcem to fiy: 
 'Tis but the court-drejs of a German-phiy ! 
 
 Some 
 
 * Sec Gay's Fable?.
 
 OF THE EAST. 69 
 
 Some inconfiflencies may brmg to light, 
 'Tis not fo good a play as /could write. 
 But, why at fuch remarks fhould I repine ? 
 Thefe are the author's eye-fores, and not 7mne! 
 If I have done, with my transforming quill. 
 All that was poffi'ole for mortal {kill ! 
 If I have rigg'd and who will this difpute ? 
 My German author in a birth-day fuit ! 
 Have turn'd his coat, its rufty hue to hide, 
 And, where I found a hole, a patch fupplied I 
 New-trimm'd his tarnifli'd lace with careful 
 
 hand ! 
 His hofe new-garter'd, and new-crimpt his 
 
 band I 
 Brought him to court I mean upon the ftage, 
 Myfelf his fquire-attendant, and his page ! 
 If well-receiv'd, he there in favour grows, 
 And gives the heart-ache to his rival heaux ! 
 If nightly to his levee London liocks. 
 And ladies worry Brandon for a box ! 
 Jf, through my means, the trcafury fills amaiii, 
 And Covcnt-Garden beggars Drury-Lane ! 
 
 If
 
 yO THE WISE MAN 
 
 If famM Pizarro^ to prevent defeat, 
 Muft found to arms, and bid his forces meet : 
 But, fpite of all his vap'ring, in difgrace 
 Turns tail, whene'er my hero fhows his face ! 
 Though, * not one flourifh, or of trump or 
 
 drums, 
 Tells to the gaping crowd a hero comes ! 
 If, in the tug of war, when Greek meets 
 
 Greek, 
 He ad, what modefly forbids to fpeak ! 
 What more can man require beneath the fun. 
 Where nothing's new ? yet this has Inch- 
 
 BALD done ! 
 
 She ceas'd and, fure of triumph, from her 
 eye 
 Shot confcious glances, which the fage defy. 
 
 No 
 
 * See the Prologue to the Wife Man of the Eafl.
 
 OF THE EASTv Jl 
 
 No doubt what elfe could Zoroaster do? 
 He'll *' Guilty* plead, and crave her pardoa 
 
 too. 
 So thought the dame and on her gentle 
 
 tongue 
 A flight reproof for his prefumption hung. 
 
 But, as fhe views him with intenfer gaze. 
 She fees no figns of penitent amaze. 
 Rather his looks a mind refolv'd proclaim. 
 And thus the Indian Sire harangu'd the dame. 
 
 Hop^ not, with fludicd and with artful 
 fpeech^ 
 One artful as yourfelf to over- reach. 
 Think'ft thou beneath this flimfy, thin dif- 
 
 guKe 
 To veil thy fophiftry from fearching eyes i 
 Think'ft thou I ever will the plea admit. 
 Which faults difclaims, but arrogates the wit I 
 
 Which,
 
 72 THE WISE MAN 
 
 Which, fliuffllng like your cunning man, 
 
 would own. 
 Not all the mafs, but to the gold alone ? 
 If you, for drejjing foreign plays renown'd, 
 Miftake fo: reel fame an empty found : 
 If, by the gen'ral phrenzy, you mifled, 
 Miftake an addle-pate for ^Shakfpeare s head! 
 Employ your talents on a worthlefs theme, 
 And ihut your eyes, becaufe your neighbours 
 
 dream. 
 As your's th' expe61:ed profit ; your's the fame ; 
 Be your'f the cenfure likewife, your's the 
 
 fl-tame. 
 If, or your need confulting, or your eafe. 
 You cl:Oofe to fatten on another's lees ; 
 
 Take 
 
 * I have already, in a former note, animadverted on the 
 
 X\\ of The German Shakefpeare^ beftowed with fo little 
 
 r n, by certain pretended critics of this country upon 
 
 J /.ebue, whofe chief merit, in my opinion, appears to be 
 
 ligable fecundity, and an infatiable cacotthes fcrU
 
 OK 'THE EAST. J"^ 
 
 Take fweet and four alike, nor deem it hard 
 To fhare the various fortunes of your b^rd. 
 For, be this truth to all play-mongers known. 
 Whatever you * adopt, becomes your own. 
 
 One friendly caution more, ere yet the 
 light 
 Dawns on the globe, and bids me wing my 
 
 flight ; 
 
 Poflefs'd of talents, which, with frug:\l gif. 
 Nature beftows thofe talents ufe Vvith tluif'r. 
 On foreign dulnefs fcorn your wit to waile. 
 Nor fandlion with your pen a vicious tafi;e. 
 Trull: to your native powers, and let you* 
 
 With native 'humour fraught, enrich t;ie 
 ftage ; 
 
 Leave thofe, whom Fate for fervilo toils or- 
 dains, 
 
 To threili the litter of anotlief'o braiiis. 
 
 Whilil 
 
 * This i5 a hin-1:, %x'hic!i I would be^ lca\-o -. 
 to the moil feiious iilCi;t;on uf all <>\\': -nu :l' 
 Gcrrqaa Dramai. 
 
 1\
 
 74 "TI^'E WISE MAN 
 
 Whilfl nobly you to higher hopes afpirc, 
 And foar aloft on Fancy's Mufe of fire ! 
 Prove to the world that Britain will not yield, 
 111 arms or arts, to rival force the field I 
 That Genius flill can Fafhion's fway control, 
 And vindicate the empire of the foul ! 
 
 Thus fliall your name to future times dcr 
 fcend 
 Rcv^er'd and honour'd, as the Mufe's friend ! 
 Thuslhall immort:il fame your labours crown, 
 Your works the temple of your fair renown ! 
 
 But, hark ! methinks the morning-herald 
 crows ; 
 And lo ! the fky with deeper blufiies glows. 
 Farev/ell 1 bright Phofphorus recalls the day 
 lie faid and vanifli'd into air awav. 
 
 J 
 
 F I N I s. r 
 
 [Printed by V, Griffiths, No. i. Paternoftcr-Row.]
 
 In the Pre/s, andfpeedily zviil be puhlijhed, 
 AddrefTed to the Senior-Fellows of the Two UniverfitieSj 
 
 THE PHILOSOPHER OF NAXOS; 
 
 O R 
 
 THE ART OF DRINKING. 
 J DIDACTIC POEM. 
 
 IN FOUR CANTOS. 
 
 By THOMAS DUTTON, A. M.- 
 
 Author of the Literary CoiJuSy and the Wife Man 
 of the Eafi,
 
 4- . '^'-- 
 
 
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