THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS
 
 Countess Zanardi Landi and her Children 
 Elisabeth-Marie- Christine and Antony- Francis
 
 THE SECRET 
 OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 BY 
 
 THE COUNTESS ZANARDI LANDI 
 
 WITH ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 BOSTON AND NEW YORK 
 HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY
 
 COPYRIGHT, 1914, BY JEAN WICK 
 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
 
 PREFACE 
 
 Two questions have often been asked me by people who 
 have known part only of my life-story; and it seems to 
 me that before I begin to tell the whole of that story I 
 should do well to answer them. The first question is. 
 Why did the Empress Elisabeth wish to bring me up as 
 she did, away from the Court? The second is. Why does 
 the Emperor Francis- Joseph refuse me recognition? 
 
 Why, then, did the Empress bring me up as she did? 
 It is, I suppose, fairly well known that the Court of 
 Vienna is still under the rule of a code of etiquette which 
 dates from the sixteenth century. But I doubt whether 
 more than a very few outside the Court itself realise how 
 crushing the code is. I shall have occasion later to refer 
 to it in some detail, and shall here speak only of that por- 
 tion of it which concerns the Empress's position. In Aus- 
 tria the sovereign's wife is a person standing entirely by 
 herself. The Emperor himself is above her, and she is 
 not permitted to go to see him as she wishes. There are 
 always the ceremonies of asking permission before a meet- 
 ing, and of announcing the approach. All the rest of 
 the Court is below the Empress, and not one of her rela- 
 tives even may see her without obtaining leave some time 
 beforehand, through the Grand Mistress or her deputy. 
 
 This may not be considered a great hardship so far as 
 ordinary relatives are concerned, nor indeed anything out 
 of the way in a high rank of society. But, in so far as 
 the rule applies to the intercourse of mother and child, it 
 becomes tragic in its cruelty. Mere archdukes and arch-
 
 vi PREFACE 
 
 duchesses may associate freely with their children, who are 
 of the same status as themselves. The Emperor and Em- 
 press, on the other hand, are hedged round with restric- 
 tions. This is not the case, so far as I am aware, in any 
 other comitry than Austria, other empresses and queens 
 having their children's apartments close to their own and 
 spending hours with them daily. 
 
 The Empress of Austria is constantly on a pedestal 
 above the rest of the world, and her children are drilled 
 to look upon her in that way. If she should wish to be 
 present at their lessons, there is no such thing for her as 
 going straight to the schoolroom. Her visit must be an- 
 nounced twenty-four hours in advance, teacher and pupils 
 are dressed for the occasion, questions and answers are 
 prepared, and at the end of the visit her Imperial Majesty 
 graciously expresses her satisfaction to the teacher. 
 
 The Empress may not even select the persons who are 
 to be about her children, nor the subjects which they are 
 to be taught. She may never have a simple, informal 
 meal with them nor indulge in a ramble with them out of 
 doors. At all times they must remember that they are in 
 the presence of the almost sacred person of the Empress. 
 The inevitable result is that they are really hardly her 
 children at all ; neither has the natural affection of a child 
 for its mother any opportunity for development. 
 
 Maternal love being the deepest and most unselfish feel- 
 ing in the world, the imposition of such restraints as these 
 is a cruel outrage. There are some natures which can 
 seek consolation in a frivolous and trivial life; others to 
 which the mere dignity of rank is a solace ; and yet others 
 (as is shown in the history of many a hapless Empress of 
 Austria) which can bow down and accept what appears to 
 be a necessity.
 
 PREFACE vii 
 
 My mother, the Empress Elisabeth, belonged to none 
 of these classes. She had an individuality in the fullest 
 sense of the word. She wished to live her life in perfec- 
 tion. The imnatiu*al was as poison to her, the incomplete 
 like a physical defect. In the artificiality of the existence 
 forced upon her, and the impossibility of her accomplish- 
 ing what she set her hand to, lay the whole tragedy of 
 her soul. 
 
 When she would have surrounded her children with her 
 care and interest, they were torn away from her, one to 
 be made wretched and finally destroyed, the others to be 
 reduced to mediocrity. At last, finding how she had been 
 deceived in her hopes about her fourth-born child, Marie- 
 Valerie, she resolved that for once she would have her own 
 way, and that at any rate one of her family should be as 
 she had wished them all to be. 
 
 That is why I was brought up as I was, away from the 
 Court. 
 
 There remains the other question: Why does the Em- 
 peror Francis- Joseph refuse to recognise me? 
 
 All I can say is that I do not believe that it is the Em- 
 peror himself who refuses. It is the Court of Vienna 
 which looks upon me as dangerous. Having been brought 
 up by my mother in the free and broad-minded ideas of 
 modern education, I must, I suppose, be regarded as a 
 menace to the traditions of the Imperial House, and there- 
 fore recognition must be absolutely denied me. 
 
 The Emperor, I must point out, is by no means a free 
 agent ; and least of all is he free to give scope to the kind- 
 ness of heart which by nature he possesses. Since the 
 days of his youth, when he was ruled by his mother, the 
 Archduchess Sophia, he has been compelled to yield to 
 the wishes or, I should rather say, the will of others, and
 
 viii PREFACE 
 
 has thereby more than once been robbed of his chances of 
 happiness in hfe. 
 
 To-day the Emperor Francis-Joseph is the saddest and 
 most to be pitied figure in modem history through the 
 tragedies which have befallen him. The hapless INIaxi- 
 milian of Mexico was the first victim, immolated by those 
 who wished him away from his Imperial brother's side. 
 The Crown Prince Rudolf was a second victim, under cir- 
 cumstances I shall relate in the course of this book. My 
 mother the Empress was a third victim, martyred because 
 of the freedom of her ideas and her great love of Hun- 
 gary. Of the recently murdered Archduke Franz-Ferdi- 
 nand ^ and his consort, it is too early yet to speak with 
 certainty; but the events connected with their burial are 
 sufficient alone to give rise to suspicion of the most seri- 
 ous kind. 
 
 And all the time the most unfortunate victim of all has 
 been the Emperor Francis-Joseph, who has lived while 
 others have died. 
 
 Only quite recently I have been told that the Emperor 
 shed tears when he learnt that he was not allowed to meet 
 me and my two children. Of children he is very fond, and 
 this in itself is a proof of a kind heart. As for myself, 
 I can but wonder if it is my fate never to meet him. Who 
 can tell? 
 
 So my mother's determination to mould the character 
 of at least one of her children involved that I should be 
 born in obscurity. But that very obscurity was light to 
 me. She taught me to realise the beauty of life, and that 
 
 1 The death of the Archduke Franz-Ferdinand, I may say, has changed the 
 situation somewhat for me as well as for the others. Will those members 
 of the family who are faithfully trying to help me succeed now in their en- 
 deavours?
 
 PREFACE ix 
 
 there is in life nothing so sorrowful, nothing so unfortu- 
 nate that I should not be able to see the beautiful side of 
 it. All such things are but incentives for us to strive to- 
 ward perfection. The effect of her teaching upon me has 
 been enduring. More and more every day I feel that in 
 the extraordinary existence which has been mine there 
 must be some definite purpose. The experiences through 
 which I have gone, in the comparatively short space of 
 thirty-two years, experiences sufficient for three lives of 
 many people, must have been imposed upon me to enable 
 me to accomplish a mission. And to open the way for my 
 fulfilment of that mission I have now written this book.
 
 CONTEXTS 
 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 I My Birth . 1 
 
 II Some Early Impressions , 6 
 
 III A Home op My Own ,12 
 
 IV My Mother Is the Empress ,17 
 
 V Elisabeth op Austria 28 
 
 VI Frau von Friese ,46 
 
 VII Summer Holidays .61 
 
 VIII I Go to School ,70 
 
 IX An Accident; and a Visit to the Riviera ... 77 
 
 X How A Holiday Was Spoilt 90 
 
 XI Professor Kraus 101 
 
 XII Some Happy Times; and the Professor's Diary . .112 
 
 XIII Confidences 132 
 
 XIV Ludwig of Bavaria 140 
 
 XV My "Military Year"; and First Love . . . .156 
 
 XVI Plans for My Future 168 
 
 XVII The Course of Love 178 
 
 XVIII A Tyrolese Holiday 196 
 
 XIX A Thunderbolt 201 
 
 XX Mayerling 207 
 
 XXI After Mayerling 236 
 
 XXII I Go Under Fire 249 
 
 XXIII The End of Love's Young Dream 261 
 
 XXIV Our Last Days Together 273 
 
 XXV The Hand of Fate 281 
 
 XXVI Alone in the World 290 
 
 Epilogue 296
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 Countess Zanardi Landi and heb Children, Elisabeth- 
 Marie-Christine AND Antony-Francis . .Frontispiece, 
 
 {From a photograph by Vari Dyck, Ltd., London.) 
 
 Countess Zanardi Landi when a Child 12 
 
 Her Birthplace, ChAteau d' Sassetot 12 
 
 Empress Elisabeth of Austria 36 
 
 King Ludwig II, op Bavaria 142 
 
 Baroness Marie Vetsera 208 
 
 Crown Prince Rudolf 208 
 
 {From a water-color miniature.) 
 
 Mayerling 208 
 
 Crown Prince Rudolf 230 
 
 Crown Prince Rudolf and his Fiancee, Princess Steph- 
 anie OF Belgium 230 
 
 Emperor Francis-Joseph 230 
 
 {From aphotograph by Stanley ^ Co., London.) 
 
 Archduchess Isabella, Archduchess Marie-Josepha, 
 Archduchess Marie- Valerie, and Archduke Ferdi- 
 nand-Karl 244 
 
 {From a photograph by Stanley Sf Co., London.) 
 
 Archduke Karl-Franz-Joseph and the Archduchess 
 Zita 246 
 
 Archduke Franz-Ferdinand and Family .... 246 
 
 {From aphotograph by Stanley ^ Co., London,)
 
 THE 
 SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 CHAPTER I 
 
 MY BIRTH 
 
 I WAS born in 1882, at the chateau of Sassetot, near 
 Petites-Dalles, in the department of Seine-Inferieure, 
 Normandy. I have never seen the place again since my 
 earliest days, and can give no description of it. With 
 regard to the circumstances of my birth, naturally, the 
 little that I kn6w is learnt from others. I therefore give 
 the details with all reserve, though I have endeavoured as 
 far as possible to test their accuracy by comparison and 
 inquiry. 
 
 Semi-officially it was given out that my mother, the 
 Empress of Austria, had met with an accident while out 
 riding. The Emperor Francis-Joseph came secretly to 
 see her, his presence in Normandy at the time being known 
 at the Elysee but concealed carefully in all other quarters. 
 My mother herself had been living at Petites-Dalles un- 
 der her incognita of the Countess Hohenembs. What 
 passed between her and the Emperor now will never be 
 revealed. A few weeks later, when my mother was re- 
 stored to health, I had to undertake a long journey — the 
 first of the many long journeys which have been mine in 
 this life. I travelled from Normandy to Vienna. 
 
 Foremost in the party was Professor Karl Braim von 
 Fernwald, my mother's physician, a stout friendly man, 
 who had not only assisted to bring me into this world of
 
 2 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 sorrow, but had also undertaken the responsibiHty for all 
 arrangements during the opening years of my life. Then 
 there were the Countess Goess, one of my mother's most 
 intimate women-friends; Alois Pirker, who was to be for 
 so many years to come my faithful head-servant; and 
 finally, Theresa Schedivi, my nurse, a Bohemian by race. 
 
 The first thing necessary for me in Vienna was a home. 
 As it was my mother's intention to bring me up in perfect 
 secrecy, but not to train me for a life of obscurity when 
 I should be grown up, the task was no easy one. She had 
 particularly expressed her objection to putting me into 
 some aristocratic family in Vienna having a footing at 
 Court, for it would be impossible for such people to keep 
 the secret to themselves. Moreover, the control of the 
 clergy in those circles is complete, and it was her fixed in- 
 tention that I should not be exposed to undue clerical in- 
 fluence. Prominent Austrian families outside Vienna 
 were also considered unsafe. The instructions given to 
 Professor Braun had been short and unmistakable. I 
 was to be placed with strangers in some well-educated, 
 cultured, and refined family of standing in the place from 
 which they came, but unknown in Vienna. 
 
 So it came about that I was taken to the house of Mr. 
 and Mrs. Kaiser, both great friends of Professor Braun, 
 and especially the wife. The Kaisers moved in good cir- 
 cles in Berlin, where the husband had been manager of the 
 Deutsche Bank. But they were not known in Vienna 
 when they arrived, and therefore answered my mother's 
 requirements excellently well. It has occurred to me in 
 later years that the name of Kaiser was in itself a lucky 
 coincidence, for even did I overhear as a child such expres- 
 sions as " Kaiserliche Mutter, Kaiserliches Kind" (Im- 
 perial mother. Imperial child), they were nothing more to
 
 MY BIRTH 3 
 
 me, before I reached years of sufficient discretion to share 
 the secret with her, than plays upon words, and gave no 
 hint of my mother's exalted rank. 
 
 It cannot have been an easy task to introduce my infant 
 person into the Kaiser household, and quite a comedy 
 seems to have been played for the purpose. After due 
 preparations, Mrs. Kaiser was suddenly taken ill. Her 
 children had already been sent out with their French 
 bonne. The servants were now all hurriedly despatched 
 on various missions — one to fetch the midwife, who lived 
 at a distance, another for Professor Braim, and yet an- 
 other for Mr. Kaiser, who " very unfortunately " hap- 
 pened to be out at the time. Imagine the amazement of 
 the whole household, when at length they retm*ned, to hear 
 that in the meanwhile poor Mrs. Kaiser had given birth to 
 a little girl, only the nurse, that clever Theresa Schedivi, 
 having been present at the important moment I 
 
 In this way was I bom a second time. 
 
 My earliest recollections of childhood are bright and 
 fair. I lived with my foster-parents in a fine suite of 
 rooms at No. 5, Opemring, near the Imperial Opera 
 House. On the first floor was the business of Frau Caro- 
 line Brayer, my mother's dressmaker. The suite above 
 had been expressly taken to enable my mother to come to 
 see me without difficulty or suspicion. It was at the time 
 one of the finest suites of its kind in Vienna. To those 
 unacquainted with the city it may appear strange that 
 fine rooms like these should be located over a dressmaker's 
 establishment, but Vienna is an exceptional place in this 
 respect. It has no particular residential quarter, no par- 
 ticular business centre, no special characteristics in its dif- 
 ferent parts. One wealthy man, for instance, might live
 
 4 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 in Section No. 3, and his equally wealthy friend in Section 
 No. 18, at the other end of the city; and a foreigner com- 
 ing to Vienna on business might have three addresses at 
 which to call, one in the third, another in the sixth, and 
 another in the eleventh section, so that he would have to 
 take half a day over what in London or New York would 
 take him half an hour. 
 
 Everybody in the home in the Opemring was kind and 
 good to me, and I was surrounded by all that the heart 
 of a child could desire. Certainly no child living could 
 have had a larger and pleasanter nursery than I had, nor 
 more beautiful dolls and amusing toys. And if I broke 
 my toys or ill-treated my dolls, no one grumbled at me for 
 doing so. Nor yet was I elaborately dressed or annoyed 
 with a multiplicity of frills and ribbons, such as vex the 
 souls and bodies of some little unfortunates and put them 
 in perpetual terror of " spoiling their clothes." There 
 was nothing to be spoilt about my plain little white frocks. 
 
 Sometimes, however, I was dressed up in more than 
 usual splendour. Then I always knew that I was going 
 to see that day a beautiful, tall lady. I was very shy in 
 the presence of this lady, although she kissed and caressed 
 me again and again when she paid her visits to us. 
 
 Although Mrs. Kaiser was tall and elegant, the visitor 
 appeared even more so, probably because she was slimmer. 
 Her voice was low and melodious, giving to me at 
 least the impression that she could never be cross or angry 
 or unkind. Somehow this only made me the more timid. 
 The lady also seemed rather embarrassed, as though she 
 were at a loss what to say to the child whom she only saw 
 at infrequent intervals. Another thing which contributed 
 to my feeling of awe was the very profound bow with 
 which Mrs. Kaiser always received the lady, for she was
 
 MY BIRTH 5 
 
 not one wHo usually put herself out, and at all other times 
 was herself the person who received the most respect in 
 the whole household. 
 
 All that I have told hitherto concerning my personal 
 recollections is hazy and indefinite in my mind. I move in 
 memory like a traveller making his way through a dark 
 and heavy night. I have to rack my brain to seize upon 
 anything vivid enough to be put into words. But now 
 events begin to grow more distinct. My road lies before 
 me with increasing clearness to the end — to that sad end 
 of another's life, which brought such sorrow upon mine and 
 left me to face the world all alone.
 
 CHAPTER II 
 
 SOME EARLY IMPRESSIONS 
 
 In the autumn of 1888, when I was six years of age, I 
 lived awhile (for the first time since my birth as far as 
 I know) under the same roof as my mother. Although I 
 was unaware of it at the time, the place in which we stayed 
 was the chateau of Lainz, originally a hunting-box in the 
 neighbourhood of Vienna, which she had bought from its 
 owner and transformed into a beautiful home for herself. 
 On my arrival here my mother said to me: " Weiberl,^ 
 now you are going to stay with mother for a time. You 
 will love me very much, won't you, darling? '* 
 
 I did not understand, for up to then I had always 
 called her Tante Elly (" Aunt EUy "), so I looked at her 
 without speaking, my heart beating fast, and began to cry. 
 My childish mind could not grasp the idea of having an- 
 other mother besides Mrs. Kaiser, to whom I was then 
 very attached, although she spent but little of her time 
 with me or her own children. Perhaps, in a way, this 
 was only an additional reason for my fondness. Anyhow, 
 she often brought home boxes of sweets for us, and that, 
 of course, is a ready road to a child's sympathy. 
 
 My real mother, however, as now I learnt her to be, 
 knew so well how to win my heart that I soon lost my 
 shyness, and before many days had passed every other per- 
 son was put quite in the background. And didn't I have 
 
 1 " Little woman." This is an affectionate diminutive used in Austria, and 
 was my mother's most usual fonn of address to me. I have for that reason 
 kept it imtranslated in this book. 
 
 6
 
 SOME EARLY IMPRESSIONS 7, 
 
 a splendid time with her! Just imagine for a moment 
 how delightful it was to sit on her lap every morning, while 
 another lady, dressed in black silk and a white apron, stood 
 for hours brushing and combing her beautiful hair. All 
 the time she would enthral my soul with stories of Cin- 
 derella, Little Red Riding-hood, and the like. Still bet- 
 ter did I love her singing, and how often would I beg, 
 " Mummy, dear, sing me * Wenn I komm, wenn I komm ' 
 (* When I come ') I " And when she had sung that twice 
 or more, she must go on to something else, generally Schu- 
 bert's " Lindenbaum," every shade and emotion of which 
 was so faultlessly rendered that even I, small child as I 
 was, was deeply moved. 
 
 But so quick to change is the mind of children that, 
 I remember, some article upon the dressing-table would 
 suddenly attract my attention and grow infinitely desira- 
 ble in my eyes — a small crystal bottle, it might be, a little 
 silver box, some exquisite toilet-tray; or perhaps only a 
 flower in one of the ever-filled vases, a few violets or some 
 rare mountain blossom. Then, without the slightest apol- 
 ogy or excuse, I would slip off her knees and straightway 
 go towards the object of my desire, sometimes so impa- 
 tient that I would not wait till the song was finished. But 
 my loving mother had nothing but smiles for this ill be- 
 haviour, and would call me back and cover me with kisses. 
 Neither did she become cross when one morning I spilled 
 almost the entire contents of one of her perfume bottles, 
 intending to put some on myself. And it was her favour- 
 ite scent, too — expressly made up for her — a mixture 
 of roses, violets, and amber. 
 
 Every day we went out for a walk in the park. At that 
 time I used to turn in my toes — a habit which was a 
 source of much annoyance to my mother, who was a re-
 
 8 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 markable walker and famous for her elegant carriage. 
 She would always be saying to me, " Come now; walk like 
 a soldier! One, two; one, two." 
 
 During this visit she also tried to teach me dancing, in 
 the learning of which I displayed considerable aptitude, 
 as I had not only a good ear for music but also took de- 
 light in exercise. By her special order, when I returned 
 to my foster-parents' home I received regular lessons from 
 a Madame Crombe. 
 
 In the winter after this visit an event took place which 
 was the means of turning my growing love for my mother 
 almost to veneration. It was a grey, foggy day in Jan- 
 uary, 1889, about two o'clock in the afternoon. I had 
 just finished dinner and was in the nursery with the nurse 
 and Laura, my little foster-sister, who was the nearest in 
 age to me of the Kaiser children. Probably we were 
 dressing to go out; I do not remember distinctly. Sud- 
 denly Mrs. Kaiser's maid rushed into the room. 
 
 "The Crown Prince has been shot . . . killed!" she 
 cried in a terrified voice. 
 
 " Not killed," said the nurse incredulously. " You 
 must mean wounded." 
 
 The Crown Prince was so extremely popular, so be- 
 loved by his subjects, that she could hardly credit the news 
 of his death. 
 
 " No, no; dead — quite dead," persisted the maid. 
 
 These words impressed me as they would have done any 
 other child. How could I have foreseen what in after 
 years this would mean to me? After this, nothing more 
 was said upon the subject to me for days. Had I not 
 seen the black flags in the streets and the general mourn- 
 ing, I should have forgotten all about it at once.
 
 SOME EARLY IMPRESSIONS 9 
 
 But this was merely the preface to what was to come; 
 and that I recall more clearly than anji;hing else in child- 
 hood. Several days afterwards my nm-se dressed me in 
 a white frock with a black cashmere sash. This struck me 
 as a strange proceeding. The black sash oppressed and 
 bewildered me, for I had never worn black before. In 
 reply to my question why I must wear this I received the 
 answer, " Don't you know everybody is in mourning for 
 the Crown Prince? " 
 
 When all were ready, I drove with my nurse and Pirker 
 in a carriage to a great palace, which I afterwards learnt 
 to be the Hofburg. Here we got out, and my nurse and 
 I passed through a long white vestibule, carpeted with red 
 velvet; then up a big marble staircase, through several 
 large rooms, all richly furnished, coming finally to a draw- 
 ing-room, where my nurse pushed me gently forward 
 through the door. I thought her behind me still, but on 
 turning my head found that I was alone and that the door 
 had closed. I was dismayed at my loneliness in the 
 strange room, but on recovering from the agitation of the 
 first moments I perceived a dark figure lying on a sofa. 
 How it startled me! Was this my mother, all in black 
 clothes and looking as pale as wax? Her figure seemed 
 shrimken to half its size, a shadow of her former self, al- 
 most ghostlike. Never afterwards did I see her looking 
 like that. She did not rise to greet me, as she ordinarily 
 would have done, but held out her arms weakly and feebly 
 to me. I felt that something terrible must have hap- 
 pened, and in spite of my fright ran towards her, clasping 
 my arms around her neck. What followed made an in- 
 effaceable impression upon my mind. My poor mother hid 
 her face upon my little shoulder, while for a moment her
 
 10 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 whole body quivered with heart-breaking sobs. They 
 pierced my very soul, and caused me to remain perfectly 
 silent, trembling with emotion. 
 
 When at last she could control her voice, she begged 
 me not to let anyone know, not to tell even the Kaisers, 
 about her weeping hke this. I did my best to comfort her, 
 and she cried, in words that I remember so well, " Oh, you 
 darling little woman, if I could only have you with me, it 
 would be so much easier to bear! " 
 
 Could I not come very often to see her? I asked. But 
 she said she must go away again, for she was obliged to 
 travel to Budapest. 
 
 I would have loved to say, " Take me with you, mother," 
 but I did not dare. 
 
 A few days after this she came to see me at my guar- 
 dians' home. She was still very pale and sad, but did not 
 cry, and, young as I was, I could feel that her heart would 
 have ached less if she only could have done so. 
 
 Still another impression of this period remains in my 
 mind. One night, about twelve o'clock, I was awakened 
 by the sound of horse-hoofs in the street and an unusual 
 stir in our house. I jumped out of bed and rushed to the 
 window, where, spellbound, I watched mounted soldiers 
 filing like phantoms before the house — their long black 
 cloaks shrouding the horses and leaving little of the ani- 
 mals visible but their feet. The gas-lamps in the streets 
 had all had their tops removed, and with their torch-like 
 flames illuminated in a most impressive, and really quite 
 ghostly, way the sombre cavalcade. It was the escort 
 bearing the body of the Crown Prince from Mayerling to 
 Vienna. This apparition passed with extreme rapidity, 
 and but for the vividness with which it was imprinted upon 
 my memory, might have seemed but a dream of the night.
 
 SOME EARLY IMPRESSIONS 11 
 
 For a long time after this I could not recover my child- 
 ish cheerfulness. Although I told no one, at night I re- 
 mained with wide-open eyes, staring into the darkness, 
 while cold drops of perspiration covered my forehead. 
 These strange events completely confused my mind. The 
 ghastly cavalcade haunted me. Why did mamma wear so 
 much deeper mourning than " Mimeli " (this was the 
 name I now called my foster-mother), who also wore 
 black, like the rest of the people? Why was she so deeply 
 grieved, while "Mimeli" was quite cheerful again? I 
 could not fathom the mystery; yet, strange to say, I was 
 perfectly convinced that my mother's sorrow could spring 
 from no other source than the death of the Crown Prince. 
 Of this I shall have more to say later. 
 
 N
 
 CHAPTER III 
 
 A HOME OF MY OWN 
 
 In the year whose early weeks witnessed the events de- 
 scribed in the last chapter, a change was made in my sur- 
 roundings, and my little household (if I may call it by 
 such a name) was increased in size. First came the in- 
 stallation of an English nurse. Miss Ives, who was also 
 entrusted with the care of Laura Kaiser. Soon after the 
 appointment, however, trouble arose. Miss Ives had oc- 
 casion once to punish Laura for stamping her foot, which 
 she did by striking the offender across the legs with a 
 strap. Upon this Laura rebelled, biting Miss Ives se- 
 verely on the hand. The English governess at once ten- 
 dered her resignation. This was not accepted, for she 
 was in possession of my mother's secret, and was, more- 
 over, much trusted by her. Unfortunately for myself, 
 as will be seen, I was of much less warlike a nature than 
 my foster-sister, and so Miss Ives was prevailed upon to 
 continue in charge of me, provided that Laura's nursery 
 and mine were entirely separated. This gave my mother 
 a long-desired opportunity of making an alteration in my 
 place of residence, so as to bring me nearer to her. In the 
 course of a few weeks I was taken away from the Kaisers' 
 house and installed in a home of my own, with me going 
 Miss Ives, a French governess called Mademoiselle Pidon, 
 who had been engaged by Mrs. Kaiser to superintend my 
 education, Alois Pirker, and some women-servants. 
 My new home was at Lainz, not then, as it is now, a 
 
 12
 
 Countess Zanardi Landi when a Child 
 
 Her Birthplace^ Chateau d^Sassetot
 
 A HOME OF MY OWN 18 
 
 suburb of Vienna. Here I had been before. But this 
 time it was not in my mother's chateau that I lived. A 
 house near by had been taken for me, a two-story building 
 in the middle of a fine park, within whose bounds I took 
 my walks. On the ground floor was the hall, a big sitting- 
 room, a dining-room, a study for me, and a small draw- 
 ing-room for my governess. On the first floor were the 
 bedrooms of my governess, my nurse, and Pirker ; and my 
 own bedroom, which, to my great vexation, was called the 
 nursery. This was a huge, bright room, decorated en- 
 tirely in white, the furniture as well as the walls, while over 
 the floor extended a dark blue carpet. The atmosphere 
 of the whole house was peculiar, arising partly, no doubt, 
 from the absence of an affectionate personal presence in 
 control, and partly from the fact that it was wholly a 
 child's establishment. All provisions for comfort — nay, 
 for luxury — were there ; but everything was subordinated 
 to the ideas of discipline and instruction. In fact, it was 
 a superior educational institution, not a home. The ac- 
 tual mistress of all was Miss Ives, in spite of Mademoiselle 
 Pidon, in spite of old Pirker. Mademoiselle willingly let 
 Miss Ives have the reins of the whole household, for it 
 meant to her relief from certain responsibilities and the 
 lessening of a restraint which she was unwilling to endure. 
 Pirker, the valet, on the other hand, gave a grudging con- 
 sent, being sufficiently philosophical to know that a woman 
 always has the last word. 
 
 Under Miss Ives's rule I was forced to arise at 6.30 in 
 the morning, winter or summer. She would come to the 
 bed in which I slept, and, tearing off the coverings, would 
 cry in her abrupt manner, " It 's half -past six — get up! " 
 at the same time shaking me by the arm and giving me no 
 opportunity to go to sleep again. Only half awake, I
 
 14 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 would creep to my prie-dieu, and, kneeling mechanically 
 before it, murmur my morning prayers. Her regime was 
 probably designed for my good, but I certainly did not 
 appreciate it then. Her method of punishment showed 
 to my childish mind a refinement of cruelty. I was com- 
 pelled to be present at the selection and purchase of the 
 whips which were afterwards to be used on me. I can see 
 now that it was not intentional cruelty, but she had been 
 trained in a school where implicit obedience was exacted, 
 and where the slightest lapse was severely punished. 
 Hence she could never see that a rule might sometimes be 
 relaxed with advantage. So I lived in daily fear. Never 
 did I dare to tell anyone of my sufferings, being afraid of 
 further punishment, and thinking, in my childish foolish- 
 ness, that my mother both knew and approved of the meth- 
 ods employed. Far from intervening. Mademoiselle fre- 
 quently seconded Miss Ives. Thus my share of coiTection 
 was doubled. I was punished not only when Miss Ives 
 found me in fault, but also when Mademoiselle reported 
 to her some childish misdemeanour. In fact, my French 
 governess was by far the more culpable, being lazy as well 
 as deceitful. While in the absence of my mother and 
 foster-parents she had not a kind word for me, in their 
 presence she would show the utmost solicitude for my wel- 
 fare. This, coupled with the natural deference and re- 
 serve of Miss Ives, combined to give those who were pri- 
 marily interested in my training, and especially my 
 mother, a totally wrong impression of the discipline to 
 which I was subjected. The servants, including Pirker, 
 dared not lift a voice in my favour, Miss Ives being all- 
 powerful. 
 
 My mother had expressed tHe desire that my education 
 should be both comprehensive and systematic. To this
 
 A HOME OF MY OWN 15 
 
 end I was placed under the care of Herr Hans Hold, 
 Laura's tutor. As it was considered inadvisable that he 
 should visit me in my own establishment, I drove three 
 times a week in my carriage, accompanied by Pirker, to 
 the home of the Kaisers. Here I was supposed to spend 
 two hours receiving lessons in the elementary subjects. 
 But my actual instruction under this otherwise estimable 
 teacher failed utterly to meet my mother's orders. Herr 
 Hold gave me long exercises without bestowing much 
 attention to their explanation. Many subjects were en- 
 tirely neglected. For example, he taught me arithmetic 
 for months and months, until suddenly it dawned upon 
 him that grammar had not been touched, when he entirely 
 abandoned arithmetic and devoted his time to grammar. 
 This is typical of his educational methods. Laura Kais- 
 er's presence, too, was a considerable handicap. She 
 often failed to prepare her lessons. On such occasions 
 she would say to her mother, " Oh, mother, do bring in 
 something nice for Herr Hold to-day, so that he will not 
 scold me for not doing my work! " And the indulgent 
 Mrs. Kaiser would always enter the room, soon after the 
 tutor's arrival, with a silver tray of cakes and liqueurs, and 
 would stay chatting with him for a time, so that Laura 
 might escape the penalty of her neglect of work. 
 
 In addition to Herr Hold as a tutor, I had Father Lam- 
 bertus, a Jesuit, for religious instruction, and for the 
 piano Frau Louise Hoffmann, professor at the Vienna 
 Conservatorium. 
 
 On the whole, my life at this period was monotonous 
 and lonely. I never met any children besides Laura, ex- 
 cept sometimes in the spring, when I went with her and 
 her governess to the Volksgarten and played there for 
 a few hours with other little girls. It happened that we
 
 16 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 met there several times Julie and Marie, the daughters 
 of Prince Montenuovo/ who were about our own age. 
 As soon as my mother heard of this new acquaintance, 
 however, she put an end to it, forbidding all further inter- 
 course for fear of gossip. 
 
 My summers still continued, after the setting-up of my 
 establishment at Lainz, to be spent in the company of my 
 foster-parents. My nurse and governess were then away 
 on their holidays, and in consequence life was much pleas- 
 anter for me, 
 
 1 Alfred, Prince of Montenuovo, now Chief Grand Chamberlain of Ihe Im- 
 perial Court. He is the grandson of the Archduchess Marie-Louise by Adam, 
 Count Neipperg. Their son, William-Adalbert, was created Prince of Monte- 
 nuovo in 1864 and married a daughter of Count Batthyany. The Neippergs 
 do not recognise the Montenuovos as a branch of ftheir family, not being 
 proud of the connection between Count Adam and Marie-Louise during the 
 life of the Emperor Napoleon.
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 
 > 
 
 MY MOTHER IS THE EMPEESS 
 
 It was when I was about nine years of age that the 
 strangeness of my position began to impress itself upon 
 me with an insistency that was not far from a pain. The 
 problems that presented themselves to my undeveloped 
 mind were terribly baffling — the fact that I had two 
 mothers and two homes, the long absences of her whom I 
 knew to be my real mother, the secrecy of her comings 
 and goings, the deference shown to her by Mrs. Kaiser, 
 the profound respect of all my household for her, my own 
 secluded life. What did all these things mean? 
 
 Again, why must I not tell people that my beautiful, 
 adorable mother was really my mother? Why must I 
 always say that *' Mimeli " was my mother? Certainly 
 I was very fond of " Mimeli," but it was with an affection 
 that was being rapidly obscured by the ever-growing love 
 — or rather worship — for the real mother whom now I 
 saw so seldom. These questions haunted my waking 
 hours with increasing persistence, and resulted eventually 
 in a chronic state of mental unrest for me. " Whom can 
 I ask to explain things to me? " I was always demanding 
 of myself. I did not dare to ask any of the members 
 of the little household at Lainz, and besides these, who was 
 there who could inform me? Not Laura, for she knew 
 no more than myself. Not her mother, who would cer- 
 tainly have evaded the question or prevaricated. 
 
 There was my beloved mother, my own real mother, 
 
 17
 
 18 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 to whom I longed to unburden my heart. She was the 
 one who must be able to set all my doubts at rest. How 
 I thirsted to ask her to explain everything to me — to tell 
 me why I could not always be at her side. But the fear 
 of making her sad tied my tongue whenever I was near 
 her. During her absence I fully made up my mind to 
 question her; as soon as she came back it was always the 
 same — I dared not speak. Even on her return from 
 Egypt, in the latter part of November, 1891, after an 
 unusually prolonged absence, I could not find courage to 
 put questions to her. So the golden opportunity passed 
 once more, and my problems were still unsolved. But 
 now, soon after this, a train of incidents occurred which 
 braced up my resolution and determined me to beg for 
 the truth from my mother, even at the expense of her 
 feelings. 
 
 I had always been accustomed to spend my Christmas 
 holidays at the home of my foster-parents, and to receive 
 my presents there. In this year 1891, however, for the 
 first time in my life, mother had a Christmas tree for me 
 in my own home; but on the twenty-third, not on the 
 twenty-fourth, as is customary in Austria. At the light- 
 ing up of the tree only Laura and myself were present 
 with my mother. TsTeedless to say, our gifts were very 
 splendid. In spite of this, the celebration troubled my 
 mind and increased my suspicions. Why had our Christ- 
 mas been celebrated a day in advance instead of on the 
 twenty- fourth, like all other people's? The fact that only 
 Laura and myself were present, instead of the whole 
 household, did not tend to allay my curiosity. My final 
 feeling was one of disappointment. 
 
 Of course, it is quite clear, really, why my mother 
 moved the festival forward one day. It would have been
 
 MY MOTHER IS THE EMPRESS 19 
 
 impossible for her to absent herself from the Court on 
 this evening of universal celebration, v^^hen the kindred 
 of the Emperor, consisting of my sister Marie-Valerie 
 and her husband the Archduke Francis- Salvator, the 
 widow of the Crown Prince and his little daughter Elisa- 
 beth, and other members of the Imperial Family assem- 
 bled at Schonbrunn, the summer castle of the Emperor. 
 Moreover, it was my mother's own birthday, which natur- 
 ally made her the central figure of the festivities. 
 
 Mother's long-continued absence after the Christmas 
 tree at Lainz, coupled with my intense desire to speak to 
 her, made me keep asking the time of her return. I knew 
 she was in Vienna, for otherwise she would not have 
 failed to bid me good-bye. My unceasing requests finally 
 led Mademoiselle to tell me that she was ill, and could not 
 come to see me. Then, of course, I wanted to go to her. 
 Upon this Mademoiselle only scolded, telling me not to 
 make such a silly and impossible request. On my de- 
 manding to know why it was impossible, she ordered me 
 not to worry her. Naturally I was desperate, but 
 through fear of punishment I kept silence thereafter. I 
 learned in later years that what had happened was this. 
 First, mother herself was ill and was confined to her bed 
 for nearly a month. Then my sister Marie- Valerie, al- 
 most immediately after the birth of her first child, had a 
 bad attack of pnemnonia. As soon as mother was able 
 to go out again she came to see me, but owing to her 
 anxiety about my sister her visits were very short ones. 
 What little time she had to spare was not, as usually 
 before, spent alone with me but in the presence of my 
 nurse and governess, so that private conversation was 
 impossible. The whole month of February passed in this 
 unsatisfactory fashion. On March 1st mother set out in
 
 20 iTHE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 her yacht for Corfu; and I, none the wiser, was again left 
 alone. 
 
 For a while my mind was more than ever in a state of 
 confusion and perplexity. Then the unexpected hap- 
 pened. The thoughtless words of a couple of servants, 
 overheard by accident, revealed the mystery to me with 
 startling clearness. Does chance actually help us some- 
 times when we are in distress, or is it we who seek chance? 
 The latter is more probable, for we take notice of inci- 
 dents which before escaped our observation. Perhaps 
 rather by instinct than of set intention, I listened more to 
 what was spoken around me. Now it happened that my 
 photograph had been taken a short time previously, and a 
 copy of it stood on my governess's writing-table, in the 
 drawing-room adjoining my study. I was sitting as 
 usual one morning, when a few words from the other room 
 caught my ear — and all of a sudden my attention was 
 enchained. The voices were those of my nurse. Miss Ives, 
 and of an old servant Pepi, who was sweeping out the 
 room. As the door was ajar, I could hear every word 
 distinctly. 
 
 " Oh, miss, isn't it a nice photo of our little Princess? " 
 
 "Princess! What Princess? What do you mean by 
 using such a title? " 
 
 " Now, miss," replied the old servant's slow, drawling 
 voice, " do you take me for a fool? Do you think I don't 
 know that she has a right to it? She is a ' Kaiser liches 
 •Kind' (Imperial child), and I consider it a cruel shame 
 to keep anyone's rights away from them." 
 
 It really must have been a great effort for Miss Ives 
 to refrain from raising her voice to the pitch customary 
 with her in moments of extreme agitation or excitement. 
 But she simply said: " Sh — sh! stop that nonsense I It
 
 MY MOTHER IS THE EMPRESS 21 
 
 is none of your business. You will bring trouble and 
 disgrace upon us all." 
 
 The old woman, however, was obstinate and garrulous. 
 She would not hold her tongue. She was neither a fool, 
 she protested, nor one of those interested people who were 
 always in terror of losing a good job. But she had too 
 much love and veneration for the good Empress to wish 
 to bring harm upon her. 
 
 " Be quiet — I insist upon it I " cried Miss Ives sud- 
 denly; and, without giving the other a chance of further 
 words, she hurried out of the room. 
 
 My brain was in a perfect whirl. There was a roaring 
 in my ears like the pounding of the surf upon the shore. 
 Incredulity, amazement, and a realisation of the truth 
 succeeded one another in my mind in great waves, as the 
 full force of what I had overheard burst upon me. Then 
 came a feeling of pure, intense joy, such as I have never 
 experienced before or since. Now I understood every- 
 thing — or, at least, at that moment I thought I un- 
 derstood everything. A thousand impressions passed 
 through my mind. So then, really, my beloved mother 
 was the Empress, and I was her child. And, of course, 
 if my mother was the Empress, my father must be the 
 Emperor. Why had I never seen him? What was the 
 meaning of all this secrecy? If my parents were the Em- 
 peror and the Empress, I must be a princess. How 
 funny — la princess I I had imagined a princess to be a 
 very different kind of a person from what I was. 
 
 Day after day passed after this without my being able 
 to answer satisfactorily the accumulating questions. I 
 always returned finally to the same conclusion : that to my 
 mother, and to her alone, must I talk about this. But she 
 was still in Corfu, and I was obliged to wait patiently for
 
 22 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 her return. But, as everything comes to one who waits, 
 so at last the long-looked-for day arrived in May, 1892. 
 
 She seemed to me, if possible, even lovelier than before. 
 I did what I had never ventured to do hitherto, and 
 threw both my arms spontaneously about her neck, as if 
 to assure myself that I really had the right to this privi- 
 lege. On her side it seemed to make her happy that I had 
 at last overcome all my shyness in her presence. After 
 our first tender greetings, she seated herself in an arm- 
 chair in the large drawing-room, while I took a footstool 
 at her feet. Full of anxious questioning, I looked deep 
 into her eyes, while my heart beat so hard that it seemed 
 almost to suffocate me. I did not know how to begin. 
 At last, with a great effort, I forced out a few words — 
 something like, " Oh, mamma dear, I do love you so much!" 
 
 She did not fail to notice my extraordinary embar- 
 rassment, and grew alarmed. " Weiberl, darling," she 
 asked, " what is the matter? Why are you trembling like 
 this?" 
 
 The excitement was too much for me. I forgot all the 
 resolutions I had made to keep calm, and burst into tears, 
 though I could have given no reason for those tears. 
 In a few moments I regained my self-control and raised 
 my head. Only then did I notice how deathly pale my 
 mother was, and how vainly she tried to conceal her agita- 
 tion with a smile. She urged me that she, my mother, was 
 the last person in the world of whom I ought to feel afraid ; 
 and as she spoke her sweet voice had a magical effect upon 
 me. Slowly I began to tell her how I had been tortured 
 by doubts for months past, and how, as my perplexity in- 
 creased, I became more and more convinced that the only 
 way was to talk to her. 
 
 Here, I suppose, I hesitated; but my mother divined
 
 MY MOTHER IS THE EMPRESS 23 
 
 the rest. She knew that I had found out who she was. 
 So without further difficulty I was able to tell her how 
 unexpectedly the truth had been revealed. But unfor- 
 tunately her time was so limited that all too soon she rose 
 to go. Bidding me an even more affectionate good-bye 
 than usual, she departed, promising to come again to see 
 me the following week. 
 
 As she went out, it is probable that she rebuked my 
 governess and nurse for having failed to gain my confi- 
 dence; for about half an hour after her departure both 
 rushed into the study. " Ah! petite miserable! " screamed 
 Mademoiselle, stepping towards me, " we will teach you 
 to listen at the doors and gossip afterwards ! " 
 
 Too much astonished to move, I stood staring at them, 
 knowing mj'^self innocent of having done them any harm. 
 But before I could recover from my amazement, both 
 women threw themselves on me like two furies, and 
 punished me unmercifully. They were two grown-ups 
 against one child, and for the time being I could do noth- 
 ing but submit. 
 
 To the great surprise of myself and the household, on 
 the following day mother came again quite unexpectedly. 
 This had been made possible by the postponement for a 
 week of a proposed visit from my sister Gisela, with her 
 two daughters from Munich. Immediately upon her ar- 
 rival she rushed into my study, instead of waiting, as had 
 hitherto been her custom, for me to come to her in the 
 drawing-room. The result of my punishment on the 
 previous day was that I certainly could not walk with the 
 ordinary ease and activity of a child. She noticed at once, 
 and cried in alarm, " Whatever is the matter with you? " 
 
 My answer was to kiss her hands, and seeing now that 
 I was going to be avenged on my tormentors, I smiled,
 
 24 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 in spite of my pain. I told her of the cruelties which my 
 nurse and governess had inflicted upon me, and how I 
 foolishly had thought until now that she would not be 
 angry with them about it. She listened indignantly, say- 
 ing that now she understood why I had always been so 
 reserved and nervous in her presence. She made me de- 
 scribe to her everything, and as she heard the details of my 
 misery, physical and mental, during the past years, she 
 hid her face in her hands. " Oh, what did I intend to 
 do," she moaned, " and what have I succeeded in doing up 
 to now? " 
 
 Of the conversation which followed I cannot, of course, 
 assert that I am able to give the exact words. But it was 
 the longest and most impressive conversation which up 
 to this time I had ever had with my mother, and much of 
 it seems even now fixed in my memory. It gave a direc- 
 tion to my steps, a mould to my character, so that I have 
 indeed reason to remember it. With the infinite gentle- 
 ness and sweetness that were all her own, my mother 
 gave me to understand that from now onwards she wished 
 us to work hand in hand. Her desire was to make a cap- 
 able woman of me, a person who could accomplish some- 
 thing, not a mere useless doll. She aroused, as she spoke, 
 the thoughts which up to then had only hazily crossed 
 and recrossed my brain. Suddenly I realised why I had 
 felt so much pleasure in learning that I was the daughter 
 of an Empress : that it was not out of idle vanity, but be- 
 cause I saw that my exalted position would help me to 
 do good in the world. The offer to work hand in hand 
 with me made me truly proud and happy. The melan- 
 choly life which I had been forced to lead had matured my 
 mind out of due season. Thus the words with which I 
 answered were perfectly sincere, which is doubtless the
 
 MY MOTHER IS THE EMPRESS 25 
 
 reason why they have not faded from my recollection. 
 
 " You will lead me, mamma, won't you? I will follow 
 you, as if blindfolded, every step of the way. If some- 
 times I fail, spur me on by reminding me of the promise 
 which I have given you to-day." 
 
 At these words my mother's face lighted up with joy. 
 " You have given me to-day," she said, " the first real 
 pleasure I have felt for many years, and now I believe 
 that some Power above must have suggested my course 
 of action to me." 
 
 I did not understand, and my eyes looked a mute 
 inquiry. 
 
 " Are you not curious to know why I keep you here all 
 alone? " she asked. 
 
 I was to learn so much that I wanted to learn, and the 
 thought gave me courage indeed. I broke out into eager 
 questionings. Why was there all this secrecy? Had I 
 any brothers and sisters? Why was I not with them? 
 Why was I brought up in this solitary fashion? 
 
 At this flood of queries my mother grew first red and 
 then pale. She answered somewhat sadly: *' That, 
 darling, is a sad story which at present you are almost too 
 young to hear. But I will tell you as much of it as I 
 can now." And then she explained to me for the first 
 time why she had kept me hidden away from nearly all 
 the world. She had married when she was very young — 
 only a little more than sixteen years old. When her first 
 little baby was born they had taken it away from her, say- 
 ing that she was not old enough to take care of it herself. 
 This was my eldest sister, Sophie, who died when she was 
 only two years old. Another little girl, Gisela, was bom, 
 and then a little boy. These two children they also took 
 away from her.
 
 26 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 Many years passed, and then there came yet another girl, 
 Valerie. This time, perhaps because she was now older, 
 they had given her permission to take the child's education 
 into her own hands, and she felt very happy. Valerie 
 was a dear, intelligent little creature, and she conceived 
 great hopes about her. But gradually the realisation 
 dawned upon her that her independence in the matter of 
 even this child's education was only a pretended one. She 
 had not really the right of choosing those whom she wished 
 to have about Valerie, but was restricted to a selection 
 from among the names on a list submitted to her. 
 
 Even this might have been endured, had she not been 
 forced to come to the conclusion that any girl brought 
 up in the uniform, systematic manner of the arch- 
 duchesses of the Imperial family could never become any 
 other than a common, everyday princess, with no experi- 
 ence of real life, no breadth of views, no deep feelings, and 
 with a more or less selfish heart. Once more she was bit- 
 terly disappointed. " Then other years passed," she said, 
 " and you came." 
 
 She remained silent for some moments. Then in the 
 quick, impatient manner so characteristic of her, she con- 
 tinued: " This time I did not intend to be made their 
 dupe ! " She drew me towards her and whispered eagerly : 
 " You were to be my vengeance for all the wrongs which 
 they had inflicted upon me. I wanted you entirely for 
 my own, not with a selfish mother's love, but that I might 
 preserve you from the useless and dangerous life of 
 Courts, because I did not wish you to be an empty-headed, 
 empty-hearted princess. Never forget this, that I want 
 one day to show the world through you that to be born a 
 princess does not only bring with it the privilege of being 
 flattered by a vain crowd of courtiers, but brings, too, the
 
 MY MOTHER IS THE EMPRESS 27 
 
 necessity of carrying a heavy burden and the ability to 
 carry it." 
 
 With these words she rose from her seat, and so did I. 
 Putting her arm around my shoulders, she made me take 
 a few turns up and down the room. Suddenly she 
 stopped, and in a very serious voice begged me to keep all 
 that we had discussed together a secret between ourselves 
 alone. And whatever we might talk of together in the 
 future I must always remember to keep to myself, unless 
 I had special permission from her to mention it to others. 
 If I forgot this, I might inflict upon her the most cruel 
 sufferings. 
 
 Our conversation had lasted for a long time, during 
 which I had entirely forgotten my surroundings. My 
 mother called me back to the world by saying : — 
 
 " Now we must finish the business here. You are a 
 clever girl, so you can drive alone with Pirker to the Kais- 
 ers. And you will tell Mrs. Kaiser that Mademoiselle 
 and your nurse beat you so cruelly last night that 
 you are still suffering from the effects. Tell her that yes- 
 terday we had talked together longer than usual, and that 
 they suspected you had at last told me all about their ill- 
 treatment of you; that to-day my unexpected visit was 
 the real cause of my learning all about it. Tell her that 
 they are to keep you until further orders from me. 
 Neither Mademoiselle nor Miss Ives are to be admitted 
 to their house. I will send them full instructions, at latest 
 by to-morrow night." 
 
 As soon as my mother had left me — which was almost 
 immediately — the maid put a few things in a valise for 
 me, and together with Pirker we drove to my guardians* 
 house. What happened to my two tormentors I do not 
 know. I never saw either of them again.
 
 CHAPTER V 
 
 ELISABETH OF AUSTRIA 
 
 At this point in my story it seems a fitting opportunity 
 to turn aside from the direct narrative and devote a few 
 pages to that sweet and gracious woman to whom I owe 
 my birth, my upbringing, and most of the happiest mem- 
 ories of my life. Much has been written about the Em- 
 press Ehsabeth of Austria since the fatal day in Septem- 
 ber, 1898, when the assassin's hand struck her down — 
 much that is foolish, much that is malicious, and more still 
 that is false. For the most part the inventions of the 
 various writers have gone without challenge; or if they 
 have been challenged the world has been as careless as it 
 usually is in such matters, and falsehood has continued 
 to spread its poison nevertheless. I wish in this book, to 
 the best of my poor ability, to vindicate my mother's name 
 from the charges which malice or ignorance, or the two 
 combined, have brought against her. If I can do so, I 
 shall, I know, discharge but a minute portion of the debt 
 which I owe her. But even that small payment will be a 
 satisfaction to me. 
 
 Elisabeth-Amalia-Eugenie was the second daughter 
 and third child of Maximilian, Duke of Bavaria, and the 
 Princess Ludovica, second daughter of King Maximilian 
 (Joseph) I of Bavaria.^ By this marriage, the Royal 
 and ducal lines of the Wittelsbachs in Bavaria were re- 
 united, having separated in the seventeenth century — the 
 
 iThe children of Duke Maximilian and his wife Ludovica were eight in 
 
 28
 
 ELISABETH OF AUSTRIA 29 
 
 Royal house springing from Christian II, Count Pala- 
 tine, and the ducal house from his younger brother, Jo- 
 hann-Karl, Count Palatine. As is probably well known, 
 the Wittelsbachs are a noble family of great antiquity. 
 They trace themselves back to an ancestor in the tenth 
 century, though the royalty of their senior branch dates 
 only from the time of Napoleon, who rewarded his ally 
 Duke Maximilian-Joseph by making him King Maximil- 
 ian I of Bavaria. 
 
 Much has been written about the Wittelsbach family, 
 their degeneracy and eccentricity, and the story of their 
 later representatives has been used to point a moral as to 
 the evil of consanguineous marriages. But it seems to me 
 that the talk about " inbreeding " is a very great exag- 
 geration; for a study of the family tree does not bear it 
 out in the Royal House, and the ducal line, which shows 
 a certain amount of inbreeding (if we include a reunion of 
 blood after two centuries) , is not that which is open to the 
 charge of insanity. As for the madness upon the throne, 
 what warrant at all is there for the statement that Maxi- 
 milian II, father of Ludwig and Otto, and uncle of the 
 present King, showed symptoms of a mental breakdown 
 at the end of his life? On the contrary, he died in full 
 possession of his faculties, and left behind the reputation 
 of a good and kind ruler. Concerning Ludwig II my 
 
 number: (1) Ludwig (born 1831), who renounced his rights to the succession 
 in March, 1859, and two months later married morganatically the actress 
 Henrietta Mendel, created Baroness Wallersee, by whom he was the father 
 of the present Countess Marie Larisch; (2) H^lfene (born 1834), who mar- 
 ried the Prince of Thum and Taxis; (3) Elisabeth (1837); (4) Karl-Theo- 
 dor (1839), who married the Infanta Marie-Jos6 of Portugal, and was suc- 
 ceeded on his death in 1909 by his son Ludwig-Wilhelm, the present head 
 of the ducal line in Bavaria; (5) Marie-Sophia (1841), who married Fran- 
 cis, Duke of Calabria, later King Francis II of Naples and Sicily; (6) 
 Mathilde (1843), who married Louis, Prince of Bourbon-Sicily, Count of 
 Trani; (7) Sophie-Charlotte (1847), who married the Duke of Alen^on; 
 and (8) Maximilian-Emmanuel (1849), who married the Princess Amelie of 
 Saxe-Coburg-Gotha and left at his death in 1893 three sons, all still living.
 
 30 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 readers will hear in a later chapter my mother's firm con- 
 viction of his sanity, so that I will say no more here. 
 There remains the unhappy Otto, whose nominal reign 
 was brought to an end last year, but who still drags on a 
 hopeless existence at Schloss Fiirstenried, near Munich. 
 About him there is something that must be said, however 
 painful it may be to say it. 
 
 Queen Marie, the wife of Maximilian II, was brother's 
 daughter to King Friedrich-Wilhelm III of Prussia. 
 She was therefore a HohenzoUern. Now it cannot be 
 denied that there was a taint of madness in the Hohen- 
 zoUern family. Friedrich-Wilhelm himself, husband of 
 the celebrated Queen Louisa, was more than merely weak- 
 minded, as the charitable have represented him to be. One 
 of his sons, Friedrich-Wilhelm IV, elder brother of the 
 old Emperor William I, was undoubtedly mad. If in- 
 sanity were transmitted to either of the offspring of Max- 
 imiUan II and Marie, it came through the mother — not 
 the father. Moreover, though the former Princess of 
 Prussia figures in history as a Queen of Sorrows, she can- 
 not be exonerated from being the cause of many of the 
 sorrows, both to herself and to others. Her treatment of 
 her sons was not good. In the case of Otto, born prema- 
 turely at a time of great anxiety in Bavaria as elsewhere 
 in Europe and for long not expected to live, brutality is 
 not too strong a word to use of her conduct. She would 
 punish him by striking him on the head, and it is said that 
 one of the doctors who examined him later stated that he 
 bore traces of a serious injury to his head in childhood. 
 Be this as it may, she was not at all the kind of mother to 
 look after such nervous, highly strung boys as her sons 
 were. 
 
 It was not on the Wittelsbach side of the family that
 
 ELISABETH OF AUSTRIA 31 
 
 insanity came, I affirm. Among all the Royal houses of 
 Europe the Wittelsbachs were pre-eminent for charm, 
 kindliness of heart, and simplicity. They were affable 
 and friendly to the humblest of their subjects. Now this 
 is a trait which in rulers seems always to be regarded as a 
 sign of weak-mindedness — by envious courtiers who see 
 others of far inferior rank preferred to themselves. Talk 
 is always spread of a taste for low society, and the virtue 
 of simplicity is degraded into a vice. No better example 
 of this can be found than in the history of the Wittels- 
 bachs. The few voices which have been uplifted in their 
 defence have, I fear, failed to reach far, drowned by the 
 chorus of those whom self-interest, servility, or mere mal- 
 ice has inspired to slander and belittle them. 
 
 My mother would often talk to me about my grand- 
 parents on her side. The Duke Maximilian was a good- 
 looking, easy-going, and broad-minded man. He was not 
 deficient in artistic tastes, for he loved music, and could 
 play the zither well. But perhaps it may be said of him, 
 without injustice, that he was somewhat lacking in refine- 
 ment. To a greater extent than his Royal kinsmen, he 
 liked the society of peasants better than that of courts. 
 He was devoted to horses and dogs, and was a tremendous 
 walker, a trait which my mother inherited from him to the 
 full. His wife has been misrepresented as hourgeoise, 
 which she most certainly was not. The adjective might 
 far more reasonably be applied to her husband. The 
 Duchess Ludovica was compelled by circumstances — 
 that is to say, by lack of money — to live a rather bour- 
 geois life, but it was very much against her wishes. Like 
 her sister, the masterful Archduchess Sophia, so many 
 years the real ruler of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, 
 Ludovica was a strict, narrow, and ambitious woman. But
 
 32 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 though she might scheme like Sophia, unhke her she had 
 no scope for her scheming. Her husband's home in Ba- 
 varia was a humble place compared with the Imperial pal- 
 ace in Vienna. 
 
 My mother was the pet of my grandfather, but did not 
 find so much favour with my grandmother, whose idol was 
 her eldest daughter Helene. Helene received all the 
 training necessary for rank in life, while her junior was 
 neglected, the Duke not troubling himself with such mat- 
 ters as the education of his girls. It was a great grief 
 to my mother as a child that she had no sister near to her- 
 self in age; Helene was nearly four years older than she 
 was. It was her brother, Karl-Theodor, two years 
 younger, who, among all the family, was her greatest com- 
 rade and playmate. In his company — herself more like 
 a boy than a girl then — they wandered through the 
 woods of their summer home at Possenhofen, on the banks 
 of the Lake of Starnberg, and paid visits to their friends 
 among the peasantry. Curiously enough, in childhood 
 she was not very good-looking, and as she had been a 
 pretty baby, my grandfather used to repeat to her an old 
 proverb, which admirably suited her case: " Schone Wie- 
 gen Kinder, grobe Gassen Kinder, schone Leute " — lit- 
 erally, " Fine cradle-children, rough street-children, fine 
 (grown-up) people." 
 
 Karl-Theodor was also my mother's comforter and her 
 only companion when she was obliged to remain upstairs 
 in her room while guests were being entertained below. 
 If the opportunity offered, he would steal down to the 
 kitchen or the pantry and forage for forbidden delicacies ; 
 or perhaps one of the servants might bring ice-cream or 
 some other dainty up to them that they might enjoy it 
 together.
 
 ELISABETH OF AUSTRIA 33 
 
 The story of the romantic courtship of Elisabeth by the 
 Emperor Francis-Joseph has often been told. I must 
 say, however, that what my mother herself told me does 
 not entirely bear out the ordinary version. Francis-Jo- 
 seph, it is true, went to Possenhofen in 1853 to see his 
 cousin Helene, being entirely under the influence of his 
 mother, who had no doubt concerted a scheme with her 
 sister for the marriage of their children. I know nothing 
 of a meeting between him and my mother then, or of a 
 formal proposal by him for her hand. It would rather 
 seem that they met at Ischl in the summer of that year, 
 when the ducal family went on a visit to their Imperial 
 relatives, stopping at a hotel not far from the residence 
 of the Emperor and his mother. A dance was given at 
 the grand villa, to which Francis-Joseph insisted that 
 Elisabeth should come as well as her elder sister. Here 
 Elisabeth happened to please her aunt better than Helene 
 did, and so, for once in a way, the Archduchess Sophia 
 yielded to her son's wishes. Doubtless the Archduchess 
 was influenced by another motive besides a preference for 
 the younger girl's looks. She thought that her youth 
 would make her easier to manage than Helene, who, like 
 the majority of her sisters, was of a very determined char- 
 acter, and had reached an age when she made the fact 
 plain. 
 
 Mother often talked to me about her wedding, and how, 
 in spite of her pleasure in making herself beautiful and 
 being the centre of attraction, she still dreaded her newly 
 found greatness. Up to now she had always been kept in 
 the background at home. Suddenly, at the age of only 
 fifteen and a half, she found herself, as it were, in the full 
 glare of the footlights. She had seen the Emperor but a 
 few times before her engagement to him, and his passion
 
 34 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 quite carried her away. Her happiness on the day of her 
 betrothal was something which she could not forget. And 
 how proud she was when she had to attend with him the 
 church at Ischll — and even the mother of her fiance, until 
 that day the first lady in the land, was obliged to yield 
 precedence to her. The engagement was announced in 
 the Wiener Zeitung the same day. 
 
 Yet with it this sudden greatness brought many trials 
 for her. From the time of her betrothal in August to 
 that of her marriage in April, 1854, was only eight months. 
 In that short period she was called upon to perfect her- 
 self in the knowledge of those social conventions which 
 up to now she had so neglected. " I did not like it at all," 
 she would say to me. " Up to this time I had worn short 
 dresses and run about with the boys, just like one of them- 
 selves ; and now, all of a sudden, I had to be a great lady ! " 
 
 The difficulty of her position was increased by the fact 
 that my grandmother had wished Helene to occupy it, and 
 had educated her with that end in view. Helene had 
 overawed my mother with her knowledge ; she was versed 
 in many matters of which, as my mother said, she herself 
 knew only enough to disgrace her. The only things 
 which she knew much about were walking, dancing, and 
 riding. Because of the many deficiencies in her education, 
 she was obliged to shelter herself behind a mask of digni- 
 fied solemnity and coldness, which at first won her much 
 admiration in Imperial circles. Unfortunately, accord- 
 ing to her own account, this was the only Imperial quality 
 she had. The prevalent opinion was that she was beside 
 herself with joy over her new-found magnificence — an 
 opinion which was of equal perspicacity with the common 
 estimate of her intellectual qualities. As a matter of fact, 
 she was well able to appreciate the difficulties of her posi-
 
 ELISABETH OF AUSTRIA 35 
 
 tion. She confessed that her splendour was indeed a 
 source of great pleasure to her, but this was never suffi- 
 cient to counteract her constant anxiety. 
 
 The actual day of her wedding, however, remained for 
 my mother one of the happiest days of her life. The 
 coronation ceremony in Hungary was more magnificent, 
 but the wedding brought more happiness. It was one of 
 the few occasions in her life when she could not deny that 
 vanity mastered her. The more admiration her appear- 
 ance caused, the greater was her joy. The train of her 
 dress, borne by ladies of the Court, was so heavy that she 
 could scarcely walk, yet that did not trouble her. Her 
 toilet took hours ; but instead of this making her impatient, 
 each additional article was the occasion of a new outburst 
 of ecstasy. And the more those about her exclaimed, the 
 prouder she felt. She really must have looked most en- 
 chanting. I begged her once to give me a description of 
 her wedding-dress, which she did. " My dress," she said, 
 " was made of heavy white brocade, embroidered with gold 
 and silver, as also was my court train. This train was fas- 
 tened on my shoulders with diamond clasps. I wore on 
 my head a wreath of myrtle and orange blossoms — flow- 
 ers which also formed the trimming of my dress; and a 
 diadem of diamonds, a gift from the Emperor's mother, 
 which she herself had worn as a bride." 
 
 She must, I repeat, have looked enchanting. Count- 
 less brides are called beautiful upon their wedding-day; 
 but my mother was not one of those who owe much to their 
 dress. She was beyond dispute a beautiful woman. Her 
 features were regular; her eyes of a curious, indefinite 
 shade, which at some distance might be mistaken for dark 
 blue, but at times showed a yellow, even golden, light ; her 
 hair chestnut, in youth almost inclined to auburn, later in
 
 36 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 life growing darker. In stature she was tall, witH a 
 charming figure. I always had the feeling with her that 
 she was on horseback — such was the grace of her car- 
 riage. Also, to put it another way, she was more really 
 " swan-like " than anyone else whom it has been my lot to 
 meet. 
 
 In spite of her girlish slenderness, she had a slight ten- 
 dency, perhaps, to grow stout. There are two strains of 
 the Wittelsbach blood, the stout and the exceedingly 
 meagre. My mother had a morbid fear of belonging to 
 the former class. I would not deny that she might have 
 become stout, had she not trained herself to keep thin. 
 She certainly never was of the " skin-and-bones " figure 
 like her brother Karl-Theodor, for instance, or my sister 
 Valerie. She walked a great deal, which was beneficial to 
 her general health. Other items in her system of training 
 were no doubt too severe to be good for her — though she 
 never really used to sleep, as has been alleged, with wet 
 compresses round her waist to lessen its girth — and she 
 maintained her slimness at some expense to her strength. 
 Whenever her weight exceeded one hundred and twenty- 
 five English pounds, she would deny herself for days any 
 food except oranges. During these voluntary fasts, she 
 drank nothing but an occasional glass of port wine when 
 she felt weak or faint. As all the time she was keeping 
 up her regular gymnastic exercises on the rings and par- 
 allel bars, it will readily be understood that she laid a very 
 severe tax upon herself. 
 
 Yet in spite of this, it could not be said that she was 
 exactly vain. If she would spend much time thus in train- 
 ing her body, on the other hand she was never one of those 
 women who waste a whole morning seeking for the pre- 
 cise shade or colour which suits them best, and who must
 
 Empress Elisaheth of Austria
 
 ^•^^.jeygti^^^^
 
 ELISABETH OF AUSTRIA 87 
 
 be up-to-date in dress or die. She did not run after fash- 
 ions. Although she was always weU dressed, she cared 
 nothing for new gowns, and disliked especially to get her- 
 self up for State occasions. She bought clothes largely 
 to benefit the tradespeople and her own servants. Her 
 special abomination was new shoes. She purchased these 
 in quantities, but wore the same pairs for months at a 
 time, while the new ones were either given away or else 
 sold by the servants without her knowledge or consent — 
 a fact which sometimes led to amusing contretemps. On 
 one occasion she asked that a new pair of shoes, which had 
 very recently been ordered, should be brought to her. She 
 waited some minutes, and still they did not come. Finally, 
 turning to her woman of the bed-chamber, who had just 
 returned after making inquiries into the cause of the de- 
 lay, she broke into a laugh and exclaimed: " I should Hke 
 to bet that I know what the matter is. My new shoes 
 have gone where hundreds of other pairs of mine go. 
 Never mind, bring the old ones, and order another new 
 pair at once ; but tell the maker to be quick, as I want them 
 as soon as possible." 
 
 Mother, in fact, while appreciating her natural loveli- 
 ness, disdained artificial means of heightening it. Even 
 her hair, which was famous for its beauty, was arranged 
 very plainly, without attention to the fashion of the day. 
 The French word soignee conveys better than any other 
 the impression which she gave to the beholder. Her chief 
 vanity, I should say, was the desire to be individual, just 
 herself, unlike anybody else; and in this she succeeded 
 most admirably. 
 
 To return to the position of aifairs after the Imperial 
 wedding. The Archduchess Sophia, it has been said, 
 probably reconciled herself to the idea of having Elisa-
 
 38 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 beth, rather than Helene, for her daughter-in-law on ac- 
 count of her youth. She felt at first considerable sym- 
 pathy for one upon whom she looked as a mere child. 
 Soon, however, she began to find her a troublesome child, 
 and to hate her for that youth which, expected to be an 
 advantage, proved in reality to be a disadvantage from her 
 point of view. My mother herself admitted afterwards 
 (I mean to say that she admitted in talking to me) that 
 her extreme youth at the time of her marriage made her 
 more stubborn and unreasonable than she would have been 
 had she been older — say twenty, like her sister Helene, 
 for example. Yet she saw a certain justification for her 
 conduct then in the fact that the Archduchess Sophia was 
 utterly heartless and treated her very badly. As an ex- 
 ample of her tyranny I may mention the following story. 
 My mother, with whom charity was a very genuine feel- 
 ing, would have liked to visit regularly, but unofiicially, 
 the hospitals and other benevolent institutions, and as 
 Empress she began to carry out her wishes. 
 
 One day, as she returned from a hospital, she was met 
 by the Archduchess, who asked her where she had been. 
 On being told, she remonstrated strongly. JNIother an- 
 swered that she should go where she pleased, whereon the 
 Archduchess went at once to the Emperor and com- 
 plained of her behaviour. The upshot was that it was 
 laid down that in future she must always get her hus- 
 band's permission previous to going anywhere but certain 
 prescribed places. For one who always took the unpleas- 
 ant things in life so tragically as she did this was a cruel 
 blow. 
 
 The Archduchess set herself to alienate her son's heart 
 from her daughter-in-law. This was particularly the case 
 after the birth of the first two children, the short-Hved
 
 ELISABETH OF AUSTRIA 39 
 
 Sophia, and Gisela. She told Francis-Joseph then that if 
 he did not wish his wife to be his master, he must prevent 
 her interfering in his affairs at all; and he took the ad- 
 vice, with the result that an estrangement grew rapidly. 
 I should say here, however, that my mother spoke to me 
 very little about the Emperor. I did not understand why 
 at the time, but I do now. 
 
 Mother, it must be admitted, did not play her role at 
 Court at all well. The stiffness, which at first won her 
 praise there, was not an attitude which she could maintain 
 without a great strain upon herself. In reality she was 
 far too cheerful and natural for the grey old Court. Her 
 timidity in such surroundings made her appear stiff, es- 
 pecially on public occasions. The commonly held opin- 
 ion that she was of a serious, indeed too serious, disposi- 
 tion my mother denounced as an absolute falsehood. At 
 the time when she became Empress she was the most high- 
 spirited being imaginable, and as fond of fun as she could 
 be. But of course she could not give way to her inclina- 
 tions in public. The pose of seriousness was forced upon 
 her by the necessity of avoiding the appearance of child- 
 ishness. Nor yet in private life, hedged round about as 
 she was by the terrible etiquette of Imperial Vienna, was 
 she allowed to be gay. If she tried to be so, she was com- 
 pelled to listen to lectures upon her conduct. Yet even 
 reproaches did not spoil her natural good humour; she 
 was too young to be bad-tempered for long. 
 
 As time passed, however, and the novelty of her posi- 
 tion wore off, she grew very tired of the monotony of her 
 life. In particular, she resented the ordeal of being con- 
 stantly stared at, to which she was subjected in Vienna. 
 The Viennese, in her opinion, were frightfully inquisitive 
 and unrefined.
 
 40 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 I remember that I once asked her if the same was not 
 the case all the world over where sovereigns and their sub- 
 jects were concerned, and that she answered that she did 
 not think so, for in other places people seemed to have 
 more to do, and less time to devote to prying into the af- 
 fairs of their neighbours. She compared the Hungarians 
 very favourably with the Viennese. At Budapest she 
 always felt that she was among friends. To illustrate the 
 difference in the atmosphere she said to me: "As you 
 know, I was always passionately fond of riding. In con- 
 sequence, the loyal Hungarians gave me the title of 
 * Queen of the Amazons.' With the Viennese, on the 
 other hand, my nickname was * The Circus Rider ' ! " I 
 was silent, for I liked Vienna and its people — as I do 
 still — and was sorry that they should make her feel like 
 this about them. 
 
 As is well known, my mother became a great student 
 after her marriage. The Duke Maximilian, I have said, 
 troubled little about her education before. But after- 
 wards she discovered that she liked study, and devoted 
 herself to it. She became a remarkable linguist. His- 
 tory and poetry both attracted her strongly. It was a 
 curious trait in her that, especially with regard to the 
 poets, she preferred always reading the same authors and 
 did not seek after new books. " I can always find some- 
 thing new in the old ones," she would say. Her favourite 
 poets were Heine and Shakespeare, for both of whom she 
 had a sincere esteem. Of Shakespeare's works she loved 
 Hamlet and King Lear the most. 
 
 Among the teachers whom she kept at different times 
 to instruct her, especially in Greek, two, both of them 
 Greeks, have written books in which they have borne tes- 
 timony to her abilities as a pupil. With regard to one of
 
 ELISABETH OF AUSTRIA 41 
 
 these, Christomanos, however, I feel it incumbent upon 
 me to make a most emphatic protest against an insinua- 
 tion which he has made. From his book one might gather 
 that he was in love with the Empress who employed him, 
 and that she reciprocated. Nothing could be further 
 from the truth than the last suggestion. Dr. Christo- 
 manos was an intelligent and interesting man, and she 
 undoubtedly liked him for this. But, as for any stronger 
 feeling, shall I be considered uncharitable if I ask how 
 any man could be so vain as to imagine that she, with her 
 passionate adoration for physical beauty, could be at- 
 tracted by one who was almost a hunchback? I must 
 confess to a feeling of great indignation that it should be 
 necessary for me to write thus. 
 
 Mother was very fond of music and played the piano 
 well. She was a great admirer of Wagner, and on one 
 occasion helped him with a present of twenty thousand 
 florins. She paid a visit to Bayreuth, I can remember on 
 one occasion, with the express purpose of hearing Parsifal; 
 and Bayreuth then was not the goal of pilgrimages to such 
 an extent as it has since become. 
 
 She was naturally liberal-minded, and, as will have been 
 gathered, anti-clerical. She has been accused of revolu- 
 tionary, even anarchistic, sympathies. But in reality she 
 was only very " modern." If she was revolutionary, it 
 was in theory, not in practice. Although she rebelled 
 against the restrictions of Court life, I very much doubt, 
 whether, had she had the power, she would have swept 
 them away. She was, indeed, too impatient to carry out 
 such a reform. 
 
 She was, it hardly need be said, of an extremely ro- 
 mantic nature. Of her sisters, the Countess of Trani and 
 the Duchess of Alen^on were most like her in this ; but out
 
 42 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 of her whole family she was the least gifted with common 
 sense. She thought herself, indeed, as is often the case 
 with people of such character, very common-sense and 
 logical, but she was far too much under the dominion of 
 caprice to be the latter. Capriciousness, and not logic, is 
 the mark of the romantic soul. And, of course, her sur- 
 roundings conduced to the encouragement of her caprices. 
 She was, if I may say so without appearing undaugh- 
 terly, like a beautiful actress spoilt by the attentions show- 
 ered upon her — though it is not the English word 
 " spoilt," nor the French gdtee, which conveys my mean- 
 ing so well as the German verzogen. 
 
 Nothing is more unjust or untrue, however, than the 
 accusation which some people (including more than one 
 who ought to know better) have dared to bring against 
 the Empress, that she allowed the attentions paid to her 
 to turn her head to the extent of making her — shall I say 
 indiscreet? Mother was of a very solitary nature, and 
 liked few people, men or women, very much. She showed 
 no preference for the companionship of one sex rather 
 than the other. She might take an interest in a man, but 
 it would not be as a man, but as a human character that he 
 would be interesting to her. The man might misinterpret 
 this interest, it is true; as, seemingly, in the case to which 
 allusion has been made a few paragraphs earlier. That 
 was not her fault. 
 
 Toward people of unsympathetic disposition she was 
 almost careless in her behaviour. This, I suppose, is what 
 some have called her arrogance. As for her alleged 
 cynicism, I can only conceive that it is her manner of 
 speech which is alluded to. She had an original way of 
 speaking, which was very humorous as coming from her, 
 and perhaps could not be understood by the undiscerning.
 
 ELISABETH OF AUSTRIA 43 
 
 The eccentricity of behaviour which is imputed to her 
 towards the end of her Hfe is also a figment due to lack of 
 understanding. Her impatience increased in later life, 
 but then she was very worried. I have no doubt that the 
 one great cause of worry was the uncertainty of my own 
 future. Her mother's heart foreboded the misfortunes 
 which actually befell me after her death. But, anxious 
 as she was, it is not true that she lost all her good spirits 
 as she grew older. Nor is it true that the effect of the 
 tragedy of Mayerling was that, in the conventional phrase, 
 she never smiled again. I can remember that during our 
 visit to the Riviera she went over to Monte Carlo and 
 risked some money on the tables. She did not cease to 
 take pleasure in going about incognita, and talking to 
 people who never suspected who she was. She was, in- 
 deed, the very reverse of the gloomy being, with suicidal 
 tendencies, which some biographers have made her out. 
 The famous detective Paoli, for instance, though in his 
 Memoirs he has spoken of her with high admiration and 
 esteem, totally misrepresents her in this respect. But 
 then how could a man in his position, however eminent in 
 his own particular line, be sufficiently intimate in his ac- 
 quaintance with her to be able to read her heart ? 
 
 Evidences of her eccentricity have been found in her 
 passions for building and for travel, of which much has 
 been written that has little relation to fact. One would 
 suppose, if one believed all one read, that she spent a great 
 deal of her life out of Austria-Hungary. Really she went 
 abroad only from December to March each year; and be- 
 fore the death of the Crown Prince only from January to 
 March. After the Mayerling tragedy, it was but nat- 
 ural that she should wish to avoid the gaieties of the first 
 half of the Vienna season, and especially the Christmas
 
 44 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 festivities of the family which would never see him again. 
 It is true that she always travelled about a good deal 
 within the limits of Austria and Hungary, though why 
 that should be considered a mania I do not understand. 
 
 With regard to her building extravagances there has 
 been gross exaggeration. Lainz was not a magnificent 
 palace. The Achilleion, her villa at Corfu (now the prop- 
 erty of the German Emperor, who has made of the temple 
 attached to it a memorial chapel to my mother) , may truly 
 be called an extravagance. But it was her Italian archi- 
 tect, Rafael Carito, the husband of a former lady-in-wait- 
 ing to the Queen of Naples, who was responsible for the 
 vast expenditure of money upon it. Mother had intended 
 to have a small villa at Corfu, with beautiful gardens at- 
 tached to it. The cost was not meant to exceed a million 
 pounds in English money. Under Carito's direction it 
 reached more than three times that sum, and the villa be- 
 came a miniature palace of the most splendid description. 
 The first time that the Empress set foot in it she ex- 
 claimed : " I shall never be happy in such a place as this ! " 
 
 As a matter of fact, my mother knew nothing about the 
 value of money, though it was a foible of hers to think that 
 she did. She spent it, not because she loved spending, 
 but because she never knew what she was spending. And, 
 while she was being the most lavish, she might often at the 
 same time make some small economy ; which proved better 
 than anything else could her ignorance of values. 
 
 I hope that I may have succeeded in giving of my 
 mother some picture which does more justice to her as a 
 woman — though the very word " woman " itself seems 
 to misrepresent one who had so much of the spiritual, so 
 little of the bodily — than the accounts of many who have 
 taken upon themselves to write about her. What I am
 
 ELISABETH OF AUSTRIA 45 
 
 conscious that I have failed to convey is the unique charm 
 which she had in her. But my pen could not accomplish 
 that task, and it is wiser therefore to leave it unattempted. 
 It was my privilege to live with her, if only at intervals, in 
 an intimacy which she allowed to no one else in the world ; 
 and for that very reason I cannot trust myself to speak. 
 Out of the fulness of the heart the mouth is sometimes 
 silent. We cannot adequately express that which we feel 
 the most.
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 
 FRAU VON FRIESE 
 
 After the events narrated in the fourth chapter, ending 
 in the summary dismissal of JNIiss Ives and JNIademoiselle 
 Pidon, my mother spent much time and trouble searching 
 for someone to whom she could safely entrust my educa- 
 tion. During the months that she remained in Vienna 
 before going to Carlsbad, she made many attempts to find 
 a suitable governess for me. The task proved the more 
 difficult because she wanted somebody who would stay 
 with her for years and supervise my training through girl- 
 hood, a person of good social status as well as of high in- 
 telligence. Such a lady, if chosen from among Viennese 
 residents, would be certain to be the cause of gossip and 
 of awkward questions. The problem was the same that 
 had existed when a home had to be found for me in in- 
 fancy. The difficulty had been met by the choice of the 
 Kaisers, on the recommendation of Professor Braun. 
 Now the summer passed without bringing the required 
 governess. 
 
 During the summer months I stayed with Mr. and Mrs. 
 Kaiser and their children at Voslau, where they were 
 spending the holidays. One day in the autumn — to be 
 precise, on October 26, 1892 — my mother's private 
 carriage called for me at my foster-parents' house, which 
 was now in the Kantgasse, and in it I was driven to the 
 Strohgasse in the neighbouring third section of Vienna. 
 We stopped at the door of a small but elegant mansion, 
 
 46
 
 FRAU VON FRIESE 47 
 
 where I got down. On entering the house I found my- 
 self in a marble hall, the floor covered with a soft, thick 
 carpet. Passing through this and an antechamber, I was 
 led into the drawing-room, where sat my mother and an- 
 other lady. 
 
 Mother greeted me with a kiss upon the forehead, as 
 was her usual custom, and taking my hand in hers said: 
 ** Come and say How-do-you-do to this lady. She is a 
 very kind and good friend of mine, and from now onward 
 she is to be the third in our league." 
 
 I looked shyly at the lady, of whom my first impres- 
 sion was that she was rather imposing in appearance, so 
 that I felt inclined to be afraid. While I was taking 
 stock of her, my mother went on. I knew, she said, that 
 she herself travelled about a great deal, and that it was 
 impossible for her always to have me with her. So Frau 
 von Friese — the lady whom I saw — was going to do 
 her the great kindness of taking me under her special care. 
 She had just come to live in Vienna. She had no children 
 of her own and felt very lonely, so she would look upon me 
 almost as her own daughter. But I must know that it 
 had taken some time to persuade Frau von Friese to ac- 
 cept the responsibility, for she was afraid that a child of 
 my age might have already become too independent for 
 her to manage. 
 
 At these last words my heart sank, and I hung my head. 
 But now Frau von Friese spoke. " I am afraid your 
 mother wishes to give you a better opinion of me than I 
 deserve," she said with a silvery laugh, which seemed to 
 come straight from the heart. At the sound of it I was at 
 once impressed in her favour and all my fears vanished. 
 
 " What your mother has told you of my ideas is quite 
 true," she continued. " But what she perhaps does not
 
 48 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 know is that I have one corner in my heart that is kept 
 specially for little girls, and where there is no room for 
 anything else. All the same, I have some special pe- 
 culiarities which may not be entirely to the liking of the 
 little girls. When once I have come to the decision to 
 educate one of them, I centre in her ambitions which I do 
 not wish to see disappointed. This means, in a few words, 
 that I expect strict obedience. If one is to get this one 
 must begin early, or else the result is painful to both sides. 
 But I am not one who likes to give pain, especially not to 
 my little pupil, whose love I am anxious to win. I should 
 give up my task at once if my care of her were only to 
 result in grief to her." 
 
 I besought my mother to tell Frau von Friese how I 
 had been accustomed to show obedience, even to people 
 who were not at all kind to me. She answered that Frau 
 von Friese had already been told all about my late nurse 
 and governess, and that it was what she had heard that 
 decided her to undertake my education. She and my 
 mother had so much the same views on such matters that 
 they were sure to work together successfully. " And 
 you, darling, I know, will do your best," concluded my 
 mother. 
 
 Frau von Friese, with whom I was destined to spend so 
 much of my time for years to come, was a Danish lady. 
 At a first glance one could not fail to notice in her the pe- 
 culiar characteristics of this race, which combines so ad- 
 mirably French grace and vivacity with German simplic- 
 ity and reserve. She was a real daughter of Copenhagen, 
 tall and slim, with a typical Northern head, a long oval 
 face, grey eyes, and dark hair. Every word and every 
 movement showed the grande dame. 
 
 Six years after her marriage, Frau von Friese's hus-
 
 FRAU VON FRIESE 49 
 
 band died, leaving her childless, but with a fortune suffi- 
 cient for her needs. She had a charming and well-culti- 
 vated voice, and as a girl her ambition had been to become 
 a professional singer; but her family had opposed the idea 
 so strongly that she was obliged to give it up. To fill the 
 void left by her frustrated ambition, she had read very 
 widely. To this she added the culture inseparable from a 
 life of travel, to which her inquiring nature impelled her. 
 Withal she was most womanly and sweet. 
 
 It was while she was abroad that Frau von Friese met 
 my mother, at Arcachon, in the summer of 1890. My 
 mother was staying at Arcachon imder the very unpre- 
 tentious name of Madame Folna, from Corfu, and she 
 remained unrecognised during her sojourn of a week, 
 taking the sea-baths. The two women were mutually at- 
 tracted at their first meeting on the beach and forthwith 
 entered into conversation, which informal acquaintance 
 resulted in their spending most of the remainder of the 
 week together. Though parting firm friends, they lost 
 trace of each other until they met again unexpectedly at 
 Carlsbad during the summer of 1892. Mother was there, 
 this time quite officially — if one could ever use the word 
 officially in connection with my mother — as the Empress 
 of Austria, and while walking alone in the woods was so 
 fortunate as to meet Frau von Friese, who though she 
 had recognised in the streets of Carlsbad her friend from 
 Arcachon, had not dared to call upon her. My mother, 
 on the contrary, was quite in ignorance of the other's pres- 
 ence at the baths, and was delighted as well as surprised 
 at the meeting. 
 
 *' Dear Frau von Friese, are you here? This is a real 
 pleasure! I have often wondered what had become of 
 you," she exclaimed, stretching out both her hands. Frau
 
 50 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 von Friese, now that she was acquainted with the exalted 
 rank of her friend, felt very much embarrassed. But my 
 mother soon put her again at her ease; and as Frau von 
 Friese had not a trace of servility in her composition she 
 remained as friendly and intimate in her manner as be- 
 fore. 
 
 My mother had been in a state of great anxiety at her 
 failure to obtain a suitable guardian for me, and looked 
 upon the second meeting with the Danish lady as almost 
 a special intervention of Providence. She did not make 
 up her mind at once, however, and almost a whole month 
 elapsed while she made minute inquiries about Frau von 
 Friese. I was told later how one day, as they were out 
 walking in the neighbourhood of Carlsbad, chance brought 
 them to an understanding. Frau von Friese had been 
 speaking about her sorrows and her loneliness, and how 
 much happier life would have been for her if she had 
 had a child of her own to watch over and to care for; 
 particularly a daughter, to whom she could have conse- 
 crated her life. This outpouring of confidences gave my 
 mother the desired opportunity, and revealing her secret 
 to Frau von Friese, she asked the latter if she would take 
 charge of me. 
 
 The question may be asked, why did not my mother 
 leave me in the care of Mr. and Mrs. Kaiser? The great 
 obstacle to such a course was Mrs. Kaiser herself. She 
 was that kind of woman who, even towards her own 
 children, showed her love by many kisses and caresses, 
 seeming to forget them when they were not about her. 
 She did not concern herself about them for days, but left 
 them to the care of governesses and tutors, paying little 
 or no attention at all to the development of their char- 
 acters and abilities. Moreover, she had one other marked
 
 FRAtJ VON FRIESE 51 
 
 defect which prejudiced my mother against her; a quick, 
 abrupt mamier and a tactlessness of speech which made 
 every visit of my mother (who was extremely sensitive) 
 more or less of an ordeal to her. 
 
 Naturally Mrs. Kaiser was much offended at my being 
 quite withdrawn from her charge ; but as she was a woman 
 of no depth of character, her annoyance soon passed. Mr. 
 Kaiser, on the other hand, understood my mother's 
 reasons perfectly; for, could he have followed his inclina- 
 tions, he would not have committed his own children to his 
 wife's care. In fact, his position was little altered by my 
 removal, as he had never paid much personal attention 
 to me ; and he remained my mother's financial adviser and 
 the executor of her wishes concerning me. 
 
 On the day following the interview recorded at the 
 beginning of this chapter, I left the house of the Kaisers 
 to settle permanently in my new home in the Strohgasse. 
 This had been purchased for me by my mother in the name 
 of one of Mr. Kaiser's friends, and it was peculiarly suit- 
 able for allowing her to visit me in secret. I still con- 
 tinued, three times a week, to spend two hours with Laura 
 and her tutor, Herr Hold, although the time was almost 
 thrown away ; but this had to be arranged so that I might 
 keep up the appearance of being the daughter of Mr. and 
 Mrs. Kaiser. On these days I usually lunched at the 
 house, and sometimes after this I went for a walk with 
 Laura and her governess. With the exception of these 
 few hours my time was spent at my own home. Besides 
 these lessons with Herr Hold, Frau von Friese made me 
 study a great deal, being not at all an indulgent teacher. 
 She seemed very well satisfied with me, however, and one 
 day expressed her approval in the following words: 
 " They may have ill-treated you, but nevertheless they
 
 52 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 have done justice to your education." And I was as 
 proud of this commendation as if I had educated myself! 
 
 My Hfe should now have been perfectly happy, for 
 Frau von Friese treated me with the utmost kindness. 
 The only cloud upon my happiness was my religious 
 teacher. Father Lambertus. Although Frau von Friese 
 felt that the Jesuit was not at all well suited to his task, 
 she did not wish to bring about a change after so many 
 years, fearing to make an enemy of him. Father Lam- 
 bertus was a man of medium build, with jet black hair 
 tinged with grey. His cadaverous face was of a dyspep- 
 tic yellow, and it really made one feel ill just to look at 
 him. He was the regular type of the Jesuit whom one 
 meets in Austria, narrow-minded and bigoted; and his 
 personal manner was ill-tempered and harsh. Poor Frau 
 von Friese did everything in her power to make us tolerate 
 each other, but the old priest would not give way an inch, 
 and I was impertinent as well as obstinate, I must con- 
 fess. However, she had great influence over me, and 
 through her kind insistence brought me at least to the 
 point of promising not to answer him rudely nor to revolt 
 openly against the arrogance and dogmatism which made 
 his teaching repulsive to me. Every lesson, notwithstand- 
 ing, was the occasion for a new quarrel, and I constantly 
 forgot my good resolutions and committed some grave 
 indiscretion. At last, naturally enough, my governess 
 lost patience and punished me. 
 
 With this exception my days passed away quickly and 
 peacefully. I often look back upon them with regret as 
 having been, perhaps, the happiest of my life. 
 
 A month after I had settled down in my new home, 
 mother again left Vienna for a cruise in the Mediter- 
 ranean. The regularity of my life was no longer inter-
 
 FRAU VON FRIESE 53 
 
 rupted by the agreeable excitement of her visits. On 
 November 27th she had come to say good-bye to me, and 
 had great pleasure on hearing that Frau yon Friese was 
 weU satisfied with me. 
 
 With the exception of Laura, I no longer saw any 
 other children, for my mother had given very strict orders 
 upon this point, and they certainly were never disobeyed. 
 Of course, I was very lonely, for I did not even come in 
 contact with very many grown-ups. Besides Frau yon 
 Friese I had a lady as a companion, a Fraulein Hain, who 
 had been a school teacher, and who was now given the post 
 with me in order that Frau von Friese should not be too 
 much tied down. This arrangement gave my " Aya " ^ 
 an opportunity of indulging her taste for the opera, and 
 allowed her some leisure to meet her friends in their homes. 
 On such occasions I used to remain with Fraulein, doing 
 needlework or playing the piano. It was strictly for- 
 bidden that I should talk to the servants, for, like most 
 young girls, I was fond of encouraging their chatter. I 
 am afraid that the fact that I was forbidden to talk only 
 gave me the more pleasure in doing so. When Frau von 
 Friese was away from home I never could refrain from 
 addressing a few words to Pirker while he was waiting 
 on us at supper in a vain endeavour to make him lose 
 countenance. It would have amused me immensely; but 
 he always remained perfectly grave. I also tried re- 
 peatedly to enter into conversation with my maid while 
 she brushed my hair for half an hour every evening. Sit- 
 ting in front of my dressing-table, I could see in the look- 
 ing-glass the embarrassment on her face; and the more 
 confused her answers were, the greater was my pleasure. 
 
 iThe word "Aya," in its best Continental sense, means "an instructor" 
 who is especially gifted and cultured, in charge of a pupil of high rank. It 
 is not really to be represented by the English word " governess."
 
 54 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 It was perfectly useless for Fraulein to say to me, as she 
 did, " Stop your talking, or I shall tell the gnadige Frau." 
 
 A great delight to me was to go to the kitchen to pay 
 a visit to Agnes, the cook, a stout old woman with an ex- 
 pression of doglike faithfulness on her face. It pleased 
 me, too, to see the two smart kitchen-maids in their uni- 
 forms of blue or pink, making a pretty picture against the 
 white enamelled tiles on the walls. Agnes loved me 
 dearly, and when, once in a way, I could escape to her 
 domain for a few minutes, her face lit up with pleasure, 
 particularly when I said a few words to her in her own 
 language (Hungarian). For example, I would say, 
 *' Edes jo Agnes, nagion ches vagyok" ("My darling 
 Agnes, I am very hungry ") . Then she knew she was to 
 treat me to something nice, but often before she had time 
 to do so one of the servants would come in, calling, " Euer 
 Gnaden, Fraulein is coming." ^ 
 
 Most of the servants in the house, I am sure, had their 
 suspicions as to my rank, but all were too well provided 
 for to risk losing their places through injudicious gossip. 
 Those who were fully informed were Sophie, Frau von 
 Friese's maid, a quiet, elderly person who talked very 
 little; my own maid, Mina Etlinger, a woman of thirty, 
 who was so haughty towards the other servants and almost 
 everyone else with whom she came in contact that she 
 never would have honoured anyone by taking them into 
 her confidence; and Pirker, the major-domo. The last- 
 named, of course, knew more even than myself, but was as 
 dumb as an oyster. I believe he was so accustomed to 
 being silent that, as with Grimaud in " The Three Mus- 
 
 2 Although literally the words " Euer Gnaden " mean " Your Grace," they 
 have not the same significance as in English, being addressed only by servants 
 to persons of rank when they do not know the proper title. They are not 
 usual as an address to a child.
 
 FRAII VON FRIESE 55 
 
 keteers," it was an effort for him to talk! He could sit 
 for hours and hours in a large armchair before the fire- 
 place in the hall, never uttering a word. He thought it 
 his duty to rise like a soldier every time I passed. And 
 I, like the mischievous child that I was, used to take a 
 perverse pleasure in disturbing his doze by entering and 
 leaving the hall urmecessarily. He was the only person 
 in the house, perhaps, who dared to be independent to- 
 wards Frau von Friese ; and nothing would have induced 
 him to give up certain of his ways — such, for instance, as 
 being the first to read the newspapers when they arrived. 
 Although he was extremely respectful towards her, he 
 sometimes tried her patience severely with his laconic 
 answers. For instance, she hated to sit at the evening 
 meal with the curtains undrawn. To see to this was the 
 task of the footman, Leopold, but it was Pirker's duty to 
 make certain that it was done. It so happened once that 
 this had been forgotten. To the remark of Frau von 
 Friese that she did not want the neighbours watching us 
 at our meals, Pirker answered coldly, and with a face 
 devoid of all expression, " The people will only see a well- 
 appointed table, with well-behaved people seated at it." 
 He never allowed a table-cloth to be used twice. If a 
 dish had the slightest crack he destroyed it at once. If he 
 were told that it could still be used in the kitchen, he 
 answered, " Oh, there are too many plates and dishes — 
 they get in the way." Then he would relieve his mind 
 by scolding the kitchen-maids for their carelessness in 
 breaking everything. We had fresh flowers on the table- 
 centre every day. At the suggestion that pot-plants 
 might be used instead of flowers to reduce the expense, he 
 remarked : " It is all the same to me. It is not my house- 
 hold. Only, suppose Her Majesty should come here un-
 
 56 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 expectedly! " Needless to say, the suggestion was never 
 repeated. 
 
 Pirker did not like to hear the other servants scolded or 
 even complained about. In fact, he always shielded them 
 in our presence, as he did in the matter of the undrawn 
 curtains, although we could be sure that Leopold got his 
 lecture afterwards. This Leopold was really intolerable 
 — a regular parvenu^ if a footman can be a parvenu. To 
 his superiors he was servile, to his inferiors rude and arro- 
 gant; not at all like Pirker, who was courteous to every- 
 one. Leopold's greatest grievance was that he had to 
 wear a green livery while the older man wore black. And 
 he grew perfectly indignant when, after five months' resi- 
 dence with us, upon my mother's return from Corfu he 
 was finally obliged to wear a braided coat, knee-breeches, 
 and white silk stockings whenever he was required to wait 
 at table during her visits. Pirker, on the contrary, would 
 not for anything in the world have waited except in his 
 black silk stockings and black silk knee-breeches. He 
 seriously approved of this ceremonial attire, and nothing 
 would have induced him to serve even a cup of tea in any 
 other dress. When mother arrived unexpectedly, as was 
 often the case, he ushered her into the sitting-room and 
 vanished immediately, to re-enter a little later in changed 
 attire. She was secretly rather amused at this singular 
 homage, and once, in a moment of very good humour, 
 could not refrain from making a remark to him about it. 
 But, in spite of her mirth, he retained his gravity and 
 replied: "May it please your Majesty, I never forget 
 what is due to my position, both as the servant of your 
 Majesty and as the major-domo of this household. I 
 must be careful in all circumstances to set the right ex- 
 ample to the other servants."
 
 FRAU VON FRIESE 57 
 
 Ever after this, at Christmastide, Pirker received the 
 same gift from my mother, a pair of silk knee-breeches, 
 with a gold coin sewn in a piece of paper in place of 
 every button — of which there were in all about twenty- 
 two. 
 
 I have mentioned already that the cloud upon my hap- 
 piness at this period of my life was the presence of my 
 religious instructor, Father Lambertus. As time went 
 on the situation grew worse, and at last it reached a climax. 
 I cannot help thinking that the right kind of priest would 
 have had a great opportunity with me. It is true that I 
 was of a rather obstinate nature, but my mind was very 
 inquiring, and I thirsted for information as to the pur- 
 pose of life. I was forced to build up a religion of my 
 own, for the Jesuit father had nothing to tell me. The 
 traditions of the Church and the glories of the saints, 
 which, with the simplest Bible stories, were all that he 
 thought fit to impart to me, interested me not at all. Any 
 questions which I might venture to ask were treated by 
 him as mere impertinences. One day matters came to a 
 head. He had been more than usually dull and prosy 
 that morning over the visit of Jesus Christ to the Pharisee, 
 and I suddenly broke out with an attempt to discuss the 
 subject of the remission of sins! I had, of course, at that 
 time no idea of what the Magdalene's sins were, but I 
 boldly asked whether the washing of the feet and the dry- 
 ing of them with her hair were not a very small service 
 in comparison with the wrongs she had done before. 
 Father Lambertus rose in his wrath. His complexion 
 was no longer yellow ; in his excitement it turned to olive- 
 green. I continued foolishly to argue, when he banged 
 upon the table with his fist and shouted that these ideas 
 were none of my own — that I was prompted by someone
 
 58 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 else, and that he had had enough of it. I would be made 
 to repent of it. 
 
 Totally unprepared for the outburst, I shook like a leaf. 
 He raved on, and the sound of his voice reached Frau von 
 Friese in the next room. She rushed in to find out what 
 had happened, and, taking in the situation, simply pointed 
 to the door, saying to me, "Go to your own room!" 
 What followed I did not hear, though I learnt, long after, 
 that the Father directly accused my governess of per- 
 verting my mind and setting me against religion. I have 
 no doubt now that he had long cherished ideas of having 
 me placed in some convent, and that he had been trying 
 all the while to lead my ideas in this direction. Frau von 
 Friese being a Protestant — a Lutheran — and over him 
 in the control of my education. Father Lambertus con- 
 sidered her his arch-enemy. Of course, this was not true. 
 She was much too fervent a Christian to allow me to speak 
 disrespectfully as I had done. Indeed, my mother was 
 much more liberal in her views than she was, being inclined 
 to the religion which, for want of a better name, we call 
 Pantheism ; and it was doubtless from her that I inherited 
 my ideas. But this the priest did not wish to recognise. 
 His main object was to make the quarrel so complete as 
 to force Frau von Friese's resignation or dismissal. She 
 on her part strove in vain to pacify him. They parted 
 open enemies. 
 
 The immediate result was to render Frau von Friese 
 terribly angry, and entering my room she chastised me 
 severely — for the only time in all our connection. She 
 then wrote at once to my mother, who had arrived in 
 Vienna ten days previously from Corfu, telling her every- 
 thing. In the letter, which Pirker took immediately to 
 Lainz, she begged mother to choose between herself and
 
 FRAU VON FRIESE 59 
 
 the priest, saying that one or the other must go, and con- 
 cluded by asking her to come as soon as possible. Mother 
 could not come at once, and wrote the following letter: — 
 
 10th May, 1893. 
 My dear Friese, 
 
 I cannot come at the moment. It is too late now, for 
 at three o'clock the Crown Princess and Erzsie are dining 
 with me. But do not worry yourself, my dear Friese; 
 you know which of the two has to go. As for Caroline, 
 tell her, please, that I am very indignant with her. There 
 is no punishment too great for her, and I personally order 
 her to be shut up by herself for a whole week. Please 
 arrange a special room for the purpose. I don't want 
 to see her when I come to-morrow. She must understand 
 by that how deeply she has hurt my feelings. It is dis- 
 graceful in a girl of her age. 
 
 With my kindest greetings to you. 
 My dear Friese, 
 
 Yours very sincerely, 
 
 Elisabeth. 
 
 My whole body quivered as this message was read to 
 me, and I sobbed long through the night. But how much 
 sorer was my grief the next day when I heard under the 
 porch the rolling of my mother's carriage wheels. 
 Would she come to the little room in which I was a pris- 
 oner, I wondered? For nearly an hour and a half I 
 waited, until I heard again the rolling of the carriage 
 wheels underneath. Then I knew that she had insisted 
 upon the strict carrying out of my sentence. I might 
 have known it before, for she never wavered in her reso- 
 lutions. For the moment I thought my heart would
 
 60 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 break, as I sat alone in my prison with no companion but 
 despair. 
 
 For the whole of the week mother remained inexorable. 
 Then on the eighth day she came back. Timidly I 
 entered the drawing-room, but she took me in her arms at 
 once and said, " Come, little sinner ; I do not want to hear 
 anything more about this story." 
 
 The rule of Father Lambertus was over and done with.
 
 CHAPTER VII 
 
 SUMMER HOLIDAYS 
 
 Summer had now come again, and brought with it an- 
 other change for me. It was arranged that my house 
 should be left in the care of the servants. Frau von 
 Friese desired to pay a visit to Denmark, while I was to 
 spend part of the summer, as usual, with the Kaisers. I 
 was sorry to go, because I had grown very attached to my 
 home and my kind if strict Aya. And, worse still, the 
 holiday involved another separation from my mother. 
 The weeks immediately preceding my departure were 
 spent as much as possible in her company. On the fine 
 days we went out for long walks together in the neigh- 
 bourhood of Vienna. When it rained she would come to 
 the Strohgasse and pass all her spare time there. I have 
 no doubt that the " eccentricity " of her conduct, about 
 which so much has been said and written, was particularly 
 noticed now. How little did people understand her mo- 
 tives I 
 
 I remember that at the time she was suffering from a 
 family bereavement. Her youngest brother, the Duke 
 Max-Emmanuel, the pet of the whole family in child- 
 hood and known to them all as " Mapperl," after the name 
 invented by himself originally, had just died in Bavaria. 
 
 On June 29, 1893, mother went to Gastein, and I to 
 St. Gilgen, close to Ischl, where the Kaisers had hired a 
 house for the holidays. St. Gilgen was at that time a nice 
 
 61
 
 62 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 quiet little place; in fact, hardly a regular summer resort 
 as yet. It was still quite in its infancy and for just that 
 reason was attractive. Its general scenery had the aspect 
 typical of all the Salzkammergut district — a beautiful 
 little emerald-green lake, old forests of fir and pine, inter- 
 spersed with oaks, a small village, a few picturesque 
 chalets, and the whole enclosed by high mountains. Prob- 
 ably on account of its simplicity, and because it was not 
 known to the crowd, society here was especially select. 
 Really one would have had to go far to find more interest- 
 ing people gathered together in one small place than just 
 then at St. Gilgen. Among others spending the summer 
 there were Theodore Billroth, with his guests, Johannes 
 Brahms and Karl Goldmark; the sculptor, Karl Kund- 
 man, with his four daughters; and the Baroness Ebner 
 von Eschenbach, the poetess, who came bringing in her 
 train a select party of literary aristocrats. Although 
 sixty-three, the baroness was extremely vivacious. She 
 was very fond of children, with whom her obvious sym- 
 pathy made her a great favourite, in spite of her great 
 plainness. We spent many happy hours listening to her 
 charming talk. 
 
 The weeks spent at St. Gilgen would have been very 
 pleasant indeed to me, had it not been for my longing to 
 return to the peacefulness of my home life — a longing 
 intensified by the uncomfortable relations existing between 
 Mr. and ^Irs. Kaiser. Really they never did get on well 
 together, but just at this time I noticed it more than ever. 
 He was kind-hearted but very quick-tempered, and his 
 outbursts were dreaded by the whole household. 
 
 One day toward the middle of July, news came that 
 the Emperor was to pass through St. Gilgen and that he 
 would stop for a few minutes at the station. The whole
 
 SUMMER HOLIDAYS 63 
 
 place was en fete. Everyone was excited. My own feel- 
 ings were mingled curiosity and shame. I longed to see 
 my father, whom I had never seen in my life, yet I felt 
 that it was scarcely right that my first sight of him should 
 be obtained from the ranks of the crowd. As the hour 
 of his arrival drew near, I felt that I wanted to remain 
 indoors, but I did not dare to say so. 
 
 At half-past eleven in the morning a telegram came. 
 Wandering in the grounds, I had chanced to meet the 
 messenger, and as if in unconscious expectation of deliver- 
 ance from my anxiety followed him into the house. I 
 stood behind Mr. Kaiser as he read the message, and I 
 saw the words, *' Make excursion to-day." Instantly Mr. 
 Kaiser turned round and seeing me said angrily, " What 
 a piece of impertinence! '* But I did not mind. I was 
 too glad, for I knew I should not see my father. 
 
 I went out for the day, with Mr. Kaiser only, as the 
 rest of the household wished to witness the Emperor's 
 arrival. I think that my foster-father was secretly 
 pleased at the turn of events, appreciating that it was not 
 really fitting that I should see the Emperor in this man- 
 ner. His wife, over whom in such matters he had not 
 the slightest influence, had seen no inappropriateness in 
 the meeting. Fortunately my beloved mother, with her 
 usual thoughtfulness, had foreseen all and sent orders ac- 
 cordingly. 
 
 Several weeks after this incident, Frau von Friese, hav- 
 ing returned from Denmark, came to St. Gilgen for a 
 few days. Words fail me to express how glad I was to 
 see her. I had felt lost without her amongst so many 
 strangers. 
 
 Soon after her arrival, she received the following letter 
 from mother, written at Ischl: —
 
 64i THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 My dear Friese, 
 
 I have long been proposing to spend some time quite un- 
 disturbed with my child. As it is not possible for me 
 to be very much with her, I wish all the more to devote 
 every minute I can spare to her. How else are my duties 
 as a mother to be fulfilled? You know I have told you 
 that I did not wish to be the average mother, who believes 
 she has done her duty in kissing her child on the forehead 
 a few times in the course of the day. I want to be her 
 best friend, and as I am often unable to be with her for 
 months together, my only remedy is to live, for a time at 
 least, constantly at her side. In God's free world I will 
 walk with her and make myself mistress of her child-soul. 
 
 On the 19th of the month precisely, I go to Langbath 
 Lakes accompanied only by one of my ladies, and you 
 must come on the 19th and bring my baby to me. 
 
 I wonder what they will say about me this time? Not 
 that I care I 
 
 Yours very sincerely, 
 
 Elisabeth. 
 
 In obedience to this command, on the morning of the 
 19th, Frau von Friese with myself and my maid set out 
 for Langbath Lakes, where we arrived the same after- 
 noon. My mother was there to receive us. 
 
 Langbath Lakes is an Imperial hunting lodge, on the 
 shore of the lakes of that name. Here we spent a week. 
 How happy I was to be under the same roof with my 
 mother. My bedroom was next hers. For a whole week 
 we were scarcely separated for a minute. I always went 
 to bed at eight o'clock, and then she sat beside me, so that 
 it was with her beloved face before me that I went to 
 sleep. Waking up once in the middle of the night, I was
 
 SUMMER HOLIDAYS 65 
 
 astonished to perceive her still there. Sleep had not come 
 to her — as so often was the case — and she had probably 
 sat by my bed for hours. With a smile she kissed me 
 now, telling me to go to sleep again ; and I, with a child's 
 wonderful feeling of confidence in the presence of a pro- 
 tector, drowsily obeyed. 
 
 My mother was justified in her expectations. From 
 this time forward I lost the last remnant of diffidence 
 caused by our frequent separations. The ties which 
 bound us grew stronger and stronger; death alone could 
 sever them now. 
 
 Those were golden days. The sun seemed brighter 
 than usual, the wind softer, the very air sweeter. Hours 
 and hours we spent wandering through the woods to- 
 gether. Often long intervals of time would pass in silent 
 enjoyment, then at some unexpected beauty of the forest 
 — the peculiar shape of an old, gnarled oak-trunk peer- 
 ing through the undergrowth, the dewdrops on the moss 
 sparkling in the sun, or some charming vista revealed by 
 a sudden turn in the road — mother would burst into ex- 
 clamations of pleasure. 
 
 Sometimes we did not leave the neighbourhood of the 
 hunting-box, preferring a short ramble to a longer and 
 more tiring excursion. On these occasions mother would 
 put her arm through mine, and as we walked along slowly 
 we would discuss all kinds of subjects. I felt very proud 
 that she found me already worthy to have serious con- 
 versations with her. She sought for the topics which 
 might interest me most, social and philosophical questions 
 as they are sometimes called. She must have been 
 amused occasionally at my original ideas, but she never 
 ridiculed them, listening on the contrary quite gravely, 
 agreeing or disagreeing as the case might be, and enUght-
 
 66 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 ening me on a variety of points which were very impor- 
 tant in the formation of my character. 
 
 Although it was our custom to choose lonely paths, 
 we frequently met wayfaring peasants, who bowed very 
 respectfully. Sometimes we stopped to chat with those 
 we knew. Occasionally we met tourists, who, although 
 not recognising mother, never passed without turning 
 round to look at her. Then I always felt very proud at 
 having such a beautiful mother. But she was also very 
 particular about my appearance, making me dress in 
 white, and pay great attention to my hair. I was a big 
 girl for my age, and my white cloth costume made a 
 strong contrast with her black one, so that it was quite 
 natural that tourists should stop to look at us as we passed. 
 
 We rose early, and as the mornings were usually too 
 cool to take breakfast out of doors, it was served in 
 mother's boudoir. She herself ate, like a bird, very little 
 indeed, while my appetite was always so good that it 
 amused her greatly. She used laughingly to say, " Oh, 
 Weiberl, Weiberl, if you go on like this you will become 
 a regular giantess, and they won't need the statue of 
 Bavaria in Munich, they will take you instead! " 
 
 In the end she seriously asked Frau von Friese to take 
 care not to let me grow too stout. 
 
 This anxiety concerning my rapid growth led one day 
 to a chance remark, which really opened to me a new page 
 in my life. Mother had been saying, while we were out 
 for a walk, that I looked more like a girl of fifteen than a 
 child of twelve. " You have inherited this from the Wit- 
 telsbachs," she continued. " Ludwig was also a giant." 
 
 " Which Ludwig do you mean, mother? " I asked. 
 
 " Which Ludwig? Why, Ludwig the Second, of 
 course."
 
 SUMMER HOLIDAYS 67 
 
 She brought the words out in the quick, impatient man- 
 ner so characteristic of her, and began to walk faster. 
 [But she must have noticed my air of utter bewilderment, 
 for she spoke again in a much calmer tone. 
 
 " My poor Weiberl," she said, " of course you can't 
 remember him. You were only three years old." 
 
 She stopped and put her arm through mine. Then, 
 after we had proceeded a few steps, she suddenly stopped 
 again, and drawing me towards her, kissed me feverishly. 
 
 After this we both remained silent imtil we reached 
 home; my mother wrapped up in her own thoughts and 
 I trying to recall some faint, distant memories. Some 
 place in the country came back to my mind, and there 
 was a gentleman in my mother's company, someone very 
 tall. It was all rather like the shadow of a dream to me, 
 but I seemed to remember that he took me on his knees 
 and played with me. I remembered, too, a rose-filled 
 garden. But what I remembered most distinctly was a 
 cornflower-blue sash on my white embroidered frock. 
 Only in later years did it occur to me that these were the 
 Bavarian colours, that the place must have been the Isle 
 of Roses, and my costume a homage to the tall gentleman 
 — King Ludwig II of Bavaria. 
 
 Unfortunately this sojourn at Langbath Lakes passed 
 all too quickly. It was necessary for mother and me 
 to part again, though only for a short time. I went direct 
 to Venice with Frau von Friese, while mother went back 
 to Ischl, following us about a week later. This Italian 
 visit was quite different from that to Langbath Lakes. 
 We were obliged to be more careful about our meetings, 
 though we lived in the same hotel — the Hotel de I'Eu- 
 rope. Mother, travelling under the name of the Countess 
 Hohenembs, was accompanied by the Countess Festetics,
 
 68 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 her lady-in-waiting, by Baron Nopsca, and by her private 
 secretary, von Feifalik. Moreover, we were in a big city 
 and not in an out-of-the-way country place. Notwith- 
 standing this, life in Venice had charms of its own. We 
 bathed in the Lido waters, and in the evenings drifted 
 in gondolas down the Grand Canal, enjoying the softness 
 of the air and dreaming of the vanished glories of the 
 old Republic, the silence broken only by some whispered 
 question of mine or my mother's answer in the same low 
 tone. 
 
 I recall particularly one of these evenings in Venice, 
 when mother was very quiet and melancholy, and the 
 silence seemed to weigh us down. We were sitting in 
 our gondola, and instead of remaining as usual on my 
 cushions I crept up nearer and nearer to her. Finally I 
 plucked up courage to express the sympathy which I was 
 feeling in my heart, and whispered softly in French, 
 " Maman, cherie, qu'astu?" 
 
 She answered, with a caress of the hand: "Nothing 
 serious, only memories of my youth which make me rather 
 sad." 
 
 At once I guessed that she must have paid a visit to the 
 Palazzo Reale, to which she had long been wishing to 
 go, while at the same time shrinking from the ordeal. 
 
 " Something drew me thither that I could not resist,'* 
 she said. " The first impression was not too painful — 
 but when I went into poor Ferdinand's room . . ." She 
 broke off abruptly, leaving her sentence unfinished. 
 
 On her first visit to Venice, in 1854, when the city still 
 formed part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, she had 
 stayed at the Palazzo Reale. It was soon after her mar- 
 riage, and the young sovereigns were accompanied on 
 their tour by the Archduke Ferdinand-Max, afterwards
 
 SUMMER HOLIDAYS 69 
 
 the tragic Emperor Maximilian of Mexico. The remem- 
 brance of Queretaro overwhekned her as she entered the 
 room that her brother-in-law had occupied. 
 
 The weeks of our holiday shpped by rapidly, and at 
 last the time came for us to part again. Mother left at 
 the end of September for Godollo, the Hungarian Royal 
 chateau not far from Budapest/ and I returned to my 
 home in Vienna, and to the care of Frau von Friese, 
 
 1 Godollo has been spoken of by some \niters as if it had been my mother's 
 own property. This was not the case. The ch&teau belonged to the Emperor 
 as King of Hungary.
 
 CHAPTER VIII 
 
 I GO TO SCHOOL 
 
 Fkau von Friese now proceeded to carry out a scheme 
 which she had been maturing since her return from Den- 
 mark, when she found me unhappy about being amongst 
 so many strangers at St. Gilgen. Her profound expe- 
 rience of hfe had taught her that a knowledge of books, 
 however wide it might be, was no substitute for the culture 
 imparted by social intercourse. Also she felt that casual 
 meetings with strangers like those in the past summer had 
 little value in the formation of character. It was by 
 systematic and regular association with others, and espe- 
 cially with girls of my own age, that I must learn self- 
 possession and the right bearing in the world. Employ- 
 ing all her habitual tact, she urged my mother to send me 
 to school instead of continuing my lessons with Laura 
 under Herr Hold. 
 
 Mother had been displeased that the Kaisers had al- 
 lowed me to meet so many people at St. Gilgen, but when 
 she spoke of this, Frau von Friese observed that, so far 
 from this seeming to have done me any harm, on the con- 
 trary, I appeared the better able to appreciate what I had 
 in life. Mother could not argue that I had received any 
 harm, and began to weaken. She hated and detested the 
 very idea of sending me to school, however, for fear of 
 what might happen to me there, and protested that she 
 could never feel safe if I were under any care except Frau 
 von Friese's own. But my governess still fought on, and 
 her steady persistence won the day in the end. She was 
 
 70
 
 I GO TO SCHOOL 71 
 
 perhaps the only one of my mother's friends who could 
 persuade her to alter her decisions. 
 
 The school to which she wanted me sent, explained 
 Frau von Friese, was a private one, quite the best in 
 Vienna, to which only the daughters of high families, of- 
 ficial and military, were wont to go. " Or should I sug- 
 gest the Convent of the Sacred Heart? " she added with 
 a smile. 
 
 "A convent? Never!" cried my mother. But she 
 agreed now that I should go to the suggested school, if it 
 were arranged that one of the teachers should have me 
 under her special supervision. Accordingly preparations 
 were made for my admission to the institution of Frau- 
 lein Alma von Gunesch. Miss Bartholme, the teacher of 
 English, was to pay particular attention to me, and in 
 order that this would not be too obvious she was appointed 
 mistress over the whole class in which I was placed. 
 
 And now I felt very happy. For years it had been my 
 great ambition to go to school, and nothing gave me 
 greater pleasure than starting off in the morning with 
 my books under my arm. I went three days a week, for 
 five hours each day. 
 
 On the opening day of the school term, October 1, 
 1893, I was directed to a form in the second row, with 
 room for three pupils. During the first hour, from nine 
 o'clock till ten, the seats beside me remained empty, al- 
 though the other rows were almost all full. At ten o'clock 
 a young girl came in and looked about timidly for a place. 
 I made signs for her to come and sit by me, when Miss 
 Bartholme at once ordered her to another seat, and told 
 me not to take things upon myself, for I was at school 
 now, and it was not my business to say where the pupils 
 were to sit.
 
 72 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 For the moment there was nothing more for me to say ; 
 but I could be very persistent when I wanted a thing 
 very much, and in three days' time that girl was sitting 
 next to me. 
 
 There was really no reason for my request not being 
 granted, as Elsa von Thyr belonged to one of the very 
 first families in Austria. Her father had been a field- 
 marshal who had died only one year ago. Like me, she 
 had never been to school before, as she soon told me. I 
 did not feel particularly drawn towards her in the begin- 
 ning, and it was only my obstinacy which made me wish 
 especially to have her beside me. But afterwards we be- 
 came fast friends, and for years she was the only girl to 
 whose home I was allowed to go. 
 
 My first visit to her mother's house came about in the 
 following way. One morning, after we had been ac- 
 quainted for some months, Elsa very gravely told me 
 that she had written me a letter. 
 
 I had not received it, as it had been addressed to the home 
 of my foster-parents, and so I answered with some as- 
 tonishment: "A letter to me? Where did you address 
 it? Can't you tell me what was in it? " 
 
 " Oh, the letter was just for form's sake, for your 
 parents to see, my mother said." 
 
 " But what was it about? Please tell me." 
 
 Elsa was timid in many ways, and she hesitated before 
 replying. Finally she said: "I sent you an invitation 
 to come to see me next Sunday afternoon. I told mother 
 that your parents seemed to make a great fuss about you. 
 So she said it was better to write a letter." 
 
 My first emotion was one of great pleasure. Then a 
 cloud came over my thoughts. Should I be allowed to
 
 I GO TO SCHOOL 78 
 
 go? Elsa noticed the change in my expression, and asked 
 me what was the matter. Didn't I want to accept? 
 
 But now Miss Barthohne had come up, attracted by the 
 sound of our voices, and inquired what we were talking 
 about. " I think it was very kind of Her Excellency 
 to invite Lily," she said, speaking of me by the name 
 under which I passed in the Kaiser family and at the 
 school. " But she goes out so seldom that she must first 
 get permission from her parents." 
 
 Elsa's face showed some annoyance, and she asked sar- 
 castically if my mother and father thought I was made 
 of sugar. 
 
 " No," I answered awkwardly, " but, don't you see, my 
 mother does not know yours." 
 
 Elsa burst out with the remark that she would have 
 thought that " ihre Excellenz von Thyr " ought to be 
 good enough for my mother to know. She was very cross, 
 and spoke as haughtily to me now as she usually did to 
 the rest of the school. I on my side was raging, but I 
 controlled my temper with a great effort, smiling dis- 
 dainfully and saying nothing. "If you only knew!'* 
 was what I thought to myself. 
 
 But I quickly repented of my behaviour. After all, 
 was she not perfectly justified? Frau von Thyr was cer- 
 tainly just as good as Mrs. Kaiser, and Elsa, not being a 
 clairvoyant, could not guess who my mother really was. 
 I determined that I would do all I could to obtain permis- 
 sion to accept the invitation, and I made up the quarrel 
 with Elsa at once. 
 
 It was only after much persuasion that I got leave to 
 go to the von Thyrs' house. Mother was not in Vienna 
 at the time, but was away cruising in the Mediterranean;
 
 74 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 so that Frau von Friese had to take the responsibility in 
 the matter upon herself. I coaxed and coaxed her, until 
 finally she decided to confer with Mr. and Mrs. Kaiser. 
 My foster-father had to make inquiries about the family, 
 and after he found out that everything was satisfactory, 
 they told me that I might go, but that Mrs. Kaiser, as 
 my supposed mother, must accompany me on my first 
 visit. 
 
 My new friends resided in the district of Vienna which 
 is called " The Cottage," where they had a mansion in 
 the middle of a beautiful park, several acres in extent. 
 Elsa's mother lived a very retired life, seeing only her in- 
 timate friends, all of them distinguished people. Really 
 it seemed that, had one searched all over Vienna, a more 
 suitable girl friend could not have been found for me. 
 
 On her return from the Riviera, toward the end of 
 April, mother found me greatly changed for the better, 
 and was very glad that she had consented to send me to 
 school. I was no longer so childish and unformed, but 
 had begun to be more womanly in manner. 
 
 " You are always right, and I am always wrong, my 
 dear Friese," she said to my faithful Aya. " From this 
 time on I shall never veto anything that you may decide 
 on Lintchi's behalf.^ I can see clearly now that I under- 
 stand nothing about the ways of the world. But there 
 you are — our education unfits us for real life ! You are 
 bringing up my girl as I have always intended to have 
 her brought up. I see now that I personally should never 
 have had the energy necessary for success. With all my 
 good intentions, I should probably have made out of her 
 
 1 My mother never called me Lily, but usually Lintchi — or Linka, which 
 is the Hungarian form of the diminutive of Caroline.
 
 I GO TO SCHOOL 75 
 
 nothing but a commonplace, everyday princess, after all. 
 You really are my guardian angel, sent to help me in my 
 time of need! " 
 
 Frau von Friese was very pleased with this expression 
 of approval. But, as I have said before, there was not a 
 trace of servility in her nature — which was the chief 
 reason why my mother loved her so much — and she an- 
 swered: " As your Majesty is so kind as to praise what 
 I have done, I will be frank and admit that you have 
 sometimes made matters a little difficult for me. That 
 renders your Majesty's approval all the more valuable 
 now, and you can give me no greater proof of your con- 
 fidence than by allowing me to carry out my plans for 
 Lily in the future." 
 
 " You shall, my dear Friese. It is time that we should 
 show the world that our class knows its duty to be to edu- 
 cate our children to help their f ellowmen. These children 
 must not be conceited because of their rank, but must 
 realize that if fate has given them a leading place it is 
 in order that they should set an example by their char- 
 acter and conduct." 
 
 She pulled me toward her and whispered in my ear, 
 " Now life really has an object for me! " 
 
 There are occasions, not very remarkable in themselves, 
 which nevertheless greatly impress the mind of a child. 
 My mother's remarks were the last link in a chain of in- 
 fluences which helped to mould my character. My regu- 
 lar hfe, and freedom from the fear of punishment; the 
 good rule of Frau von Friese ; the greater intimacy with 
 my mother; and last, but by no means least, my inter- 
 course with other children of my own age — these were 
 the other links. From this time forward I began to ob-
 
 76 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 serve myself more closely, and to think, quite without con- 
 ceit, with regard to every action of mine, " Is this worthy 
 of an archduchess ? " 
 
 At the end of May my mother and I went to Munich 
 for three days. We lived in the " Vier Jahreszeiten " 
 Hotel. The first two days my mother was in rare good 
 spirits such as were seldom hers. On the third we went 
 together to the sepulchre of Ludwig II. She was en- 
 tirely changed — bowed down with grief, deathly pale, 
 feeble, and languid. We both knelt down at the foot of 
 the tomb, when, taking my two hands, she placed them 
 upon it, with her hands resting on mine. So we remained 
 some little time. On rising we stood still for a moment; 
 and then finally she spoke, with so mournful a solemnity 
 that I was perplexed and oppressed. 
 
 " My child, remember that if ever at any time you come 
 again to Munich you must come here. This is a sacred 
 duty which your mother lays upon you." 
 
 Then she took my arm, and without another word we 
 walked out.
 
 CHAPTER IX 
 
 AN accident; and a visit to the eiveeea 
 
 The first summer after I went to school I had no desire 
 for the holidays. The chief reason for this was that I 
 knew that I should not be with my mother. She went 
 this year to Madonna di Campiglio in the Tyrol. It had 
 been her intention that I should follow her there, but at 
 the last moment it was decided that she should be accom- 
 panied by a large suite, and that the Emperor should join 
 her shortly afterwards. It was therefore out of the ques- 
 tion for me to be with her there. ]My disappointment 
 was very great, and the question tormented me, " What 
 was to become of me? '* I secretly hoped that I should 
 not have to spend the summer with the Kaisers. I had 
 forgotten the necessity of keeping up appearances. 
 When Frau von Friese told me that it had been arranged 
 that the Kaisers should take me with them again, I was 
 plunged in despair. 
 
 " I know that it is hard for you, my dear," she said, 
 " but it is just for that reason that I wish you to go. If 
 you had really enjoyed the irregular life of last summer 
 and had wanted to go, it would have been my duty to for- 
 bid it. You must learn, you know, to bow to the inevi- 
 table." 
 
 This was her system, for the good of my character. 
 So I went away with the Kaisers once more. Good luck, 
 however, befel us — if it is not hard-hearted of me to say 
 so — for toward the end of July Mrs. Kaiser had such 
 
 77
 
 78 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 trouble with her eyes that she was obhged to go to a sana- 
 torium at Salzburg. At first it was thought that this 
 would be only for a short time, and I was left with Laura 
 under the care of her governess. But as weeks passed by 
 with little or no improvement in Mrs. Kaiser's condition, 
 Frau von Friese, who had only just returned from an- 
 other visit to her own country, thought it unwise to leave 
 me any longer without a special guardian to take charge 
 of me, and so came to fetch me away. The rest of the 
 summer we spent together at Gmunden, which is quite 
 near to Ischl, so that we were able to see my mother as 
 often as she could manage to get away from her suite. 
 
 At the beginning of September mother proposed to 
 take me with her on a visit to Corfu. Again fate inter- 
 yened to keep us apart. At the last moment my sister 
 Valerie and her husband, Francis- Salvator, announced to 
 my mother their intention of spending September with 
 her. This was a great disappointment to us both. 
 
 In October I returned to school. I was glad to meet 
 Elsa again, with whom I had kept up a regular corre- 
 spondence during the summer. Everything seemed to go 
 on just the same as before the holidays. In the mean- 
 while, mother, who had gone from Corfu to GodoUo, re- 
 turned to Vienna on November 3rd, so as to be able to 
 spend the 4th (which is the name-day of my patron, St. 
 Charles) as usual with me. This time I received my first 
 present of any value except the unset six-carat diamond, 
 which was always purchased for me on that day as for all 
 the archduchesses of the Austrian Imperial family. My 
 new present was a pretty string of pearls, each the size of 
 a pea. 
 
 A few days after, on November 7th, I was alone in my 
 study with Frau von Friese when Pirker announced a
 
 A VISIT TO THE RIVIERA 79 
 
 visitor to see her. This visit was quite unexpected, and it 
 left me, as very rarely happened, alone in my room, 
 Fraulein Hain being out for the day. Now, like most 
 girls, I loved to arrange things to suit my own taste. 
 There was a picture on the wall which was not hung to my 
 fancy, and I determined to use this moment of freedom 
 to change its position myself. I called Leopold to bring 
 me a ladder; but, as he was busy or probably too lazy to 
 obey, he sent it to me by one of the maids. Mina, who 
 had seen the girl with the ladder, followed her into the 
 room, and begged me to wait for Frau von Friese's per- 
 mission. But I laughed, and ordered her to stand near 
 the door and give me warning if footsteps should be heard 
 approaching. The ladder was one of those double ones, 
 and in my hurry I forgot to put the crutch in. I had 
 climbed up, and was leaning over to lift the picture 
 when Mina sounded her note of warning, "Die Gnadige 
 kommt" (Madame is coming). I tried to get down 
 quickly, and in my haste caused the ladder to slip, throw- 
 ing me heavily to the floor. I tried to rise, but in vain. 
 Somehow, I had hurt my back. At this very moment 
 Frau von Friese entered the room. She stared at me ter- 
 rified. Then, growing angry, she exclaimed : " Get up, 
 you careless girl. What were you doing with that lad- 
 der?" 
 
 " I can't get up," I answered. 
 
 My governess was naturally pale, but at my words she 
 became as white as chalk. Mina had now hurried to my 
 side, and cried reproachfully: "What did I say? But, 
 of course, no one ever listens to me I" The remark, no 
 doubt, was meant not so much to cast the blame upon me 
 as to exonerate herself from the charge of allowing me to 
 use the ladder in the absence of Frau von Friese.
 
 80 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 iTHey put me to bed with considerable difficulty, every 
 movement causing me great pain. Then Frau von Friese 
 got Mr. Kaiser to summon Professor Lorenz, the famous 
 surgeon. The Professor declared that my back had been 
 severely strained, and that I must be put into plaster at 
 once — a proceeding which was so excruciating that I had 
 to clench my teeth to prevent myself from crying out. 
 
 After the Professor's departure Frau von Friese said 
 despairingly: " Now I must inform Her Majesty. 
 What will she say? " This was probably more for the 
 benefit of Fraulein, who had just returned, than for mine. 
 
 " Oh, don't tell mother that it is serious," I exclaimed, 
 in spite of my pain. " I don't want her to know how 
 badly I am hurt. Besides, I will tell her that it was all 
 my fault." 
 
 " No, my dear, I cannot deceive your mother," answered 
 Frau von Friese. " I must tell her every word that the 
 Professor has said. And it is my fault. I should have 
 given orders to say that I was not at home to anyone when 
 I knew that Fraulein was not with you." 
 
 The same evening mother arrived, pale but outwardly 
 quite composed. As she bent over and kissed me, her 
 touch seemed to relieve the pain, as though she really 
 possessed the gift of kings. With Frau von Friese she 
 was as gentle as only she could be, and embracing her said 
 she never could be convinced that it was her fault. Was 
 I not, after all, no longer a small child, but a girl quite 
 old enough to take care of myself? 
 
 She spoke so unconcernedly, and her whole manner was 
 so cheerful and natural, that none of us realised what 
 agony she suffered inwardly, thinking that I should be 
 lame for life. She remained with me all night. My suf- 
 fering was so great that for some time I could not sleep.
 
 A VISIT TO THE RIVIERA 81 
 
 But mother took one of my hands in hers and held it. 
 Then there stole over me that feeling of calm confidence, 
 which her presence and her touch always inspired, and I 
 fell asleep. How long I remained so I do not know. 
 The rustling of her skirts awakened me. We were alone. 
 She, thinking me asleep, had knelt down by my bedside. 
 Opening my eyes I saw that hers were red with weeping. 
 Poor, poor mother! What must have been her anxiety 
 to cause her to cry like this? When she saw that I was 
 awake, she rose and bending over me pressed her cheek 
 against my face, so that I felt her burning tears running 
 over my temples. I put my two arms about her neck, 
 and strained her to my heart as tightly as I could. 
 
 Her presence at my bedside was the cause of some 
 trouble. On leaving the Hofburg, as she intended to 
 return almost immediately she had omitted to confide in 
 any of her ladies-in-waiting where she was going, or to 
 say that she might remain away all night. When they 
 discovered her absence they kept silence at first. How- 
 ever, as time passed and she still did not return, they 
 thought it best to inform Baron Nopsca, the Master of 
 her Household. In ordinary circumstances he would 
 have reported this immediately to the Emperor, but sup- 
 posing it only some small matter which detained her, he 
 too kept silence. As hour after hour passed by and she 
 did not come back, the anxiety of her attendants grew 
 acute. They dared not now inform the Emperor, for the 
 result would be a severe reprimand, perhaps even dis- 
 missal. Still less did they dare to institute a search for 
 Her Majesty, lest worse should follow. So the night 
 came to an end, leaving them all in a terrible state of 
 mind. Events justified their conduct. JNIy mother, 
 after having forgotten them all in her trouble about me,
 
 82 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 returned to the Hofburg at six o'clock in the morning. 
 Then the storm broke. Baron Nopsca, who was wrought 
 up to fever-heat by his anxiety, accused her of trying his 
 patience too far, and informed her that if such a thing 
 should occur again, he could not take on himself the re- 
 sponsibility of keeping silent. Mother was nervous and 
 unstrung with all that she had undergone, and, bitterly 
 realising that she was never free to do as she wished, lost 
 her temper suddenly and struck him in the face. After 
 this, of course. Baron Nopsca could not remain longer in 
 her household, and demanded to be allowed to resign. 
 
 My mother, needless to say, afterwards repented of 
 her hastiness on this occasion, and seized every oppor- 
 tunity of showing Baron Nopsca marked attention. 
 Once, I know myself, on the occasion of a dinner given by 
 her in honour of my sister Gisela and her husband at 
 Budapest, she sent to him in Vienna a present of fruit. 
 
 For three weeks after my accident I was obliged to 
 lie on my back. At first, regardless of everything else, 
 mother came every day to see me. Then, when my re- 
 covery was assured, arrangements having been made pre- 
 viously for a trip to the Mediterranean, she left Vienna 
 on December 1st, after commanding Frau von Friese to 
 inform her every day by letter and telegram of my con- 
 dition. 
 
 My convalescence was so rapid that before Christmas 
 I was able to be up and walking, and finally even to go 
 back to school. According to her regular custom, mother 
 passed this winter in the south. This was for me usually 
 the longest period of separation from her; but this year 
 my accident came to my assistance. About the beginning 
 of January Professor Lorenz decided that it was advisa- 
 ble for me to have a change of air. Frau von Friese
 
 A VISIT TO THE RIVIERA 83 
 
 made no reply at the time, so that my surprise and pleas- 
 ure were very great indeed when, a little later, she in- 
 formed me that I was to spend some time with mother 
 on the Riviera. I was so overjoyed that I danced from 
 one end of the room to the other. " Oh I You are 
 good! " I cried. *' Am I really to see mother so soon and 
 so unexpectedly? " 
 
 " Of course," she repHed. " We shall all live at the 
 same hotel. No one will be any the wiser. Your mother 
 has known me for years, and can talk with me as often as 
 she wishes without its being remarked upon by any one. 
 So we shall be perfectly free." 
 
 My joy speedily gave place to doubt. The news was 
 surely too good to be true. Many things might happen 
 to prevent our departure. The doctor might alter his 
 mind. Mother might coimtermand the order. I magni- 
 fied my groundless fears until school-work became impos- 
 sible to me, and at nights I would lie awake until thor- 
 oughly exhausted. So things continued until the date of 
 our departure arrived. That day I was in a worse fever 
 of impatience than ever. Only when we had reached the 
 train and entered our compartment, and I stood at the 
 window watching the last preparations, could I breathe a 
 little easier. Then the guard blew his whistle, the train 
 gave a jerk, and we rolled out of the station on the way 
 to Nice. There was no turning back now. I lay back 
 in my seat, feeling supremely happy. At last I was 
 really on my way to the Riviera, the earthly Paradise, 
 with my darling mother as the guardian angel of it. 
 
 A disappointment was awaiting me on my arrival. 
 For I was greeted by a bleak north wind, a wintry, dust- 
 covered landscape, and a dull sky. Was this, then, the 
 Riviera? But I was soon reassured. On the following
 
 84 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 day a soft southerly breeze was blowing, sky and sea were 
 a perfect blue, and the landscape was bathed in the golden 
 light of the southern sun. Suddenly an overwhelming 
 love for this beautiful country sprang up in my heart and 
 possessed it. It possesses it still, and will do so until my 
 heart shall cease to beat. 
 
 On the first day after my arrival mother took me to 
 see the famous gardens of Mortola. As we wandered 
 through them I could not repress my enthusiasm. My 
 first exclamation, I have since been told, was: *' Mother 
 dear, how lovely it would be to die here! I feel happy 
 beyond all wishes, with all this beauty and with you. The 
 only thing to make me sad is when I think that it cannot 
 last." 
 
 For hours and hours, covering miles and miles, we wan- 
 dered about together each day. Mother always left the 
 hotel unaccompanied, and we met at some appointed 
 place. How glorious were these times! However far 
 we might walk, no distance ever seemed to tire us. She 
 was very solicitous about me, however, constantly asking, 
 " Weiberl, does your leg hurt you, or do I go too quickly 
 for you? " And all the while, without any visible sign, 
 mother herself was sufiPering tortures from sciatica. 
 
 Never before did I realise how much happiness my 
 presence gave her. Often in the course of our walks she 
 would draw me to her and kiss me ; or else she would take 
 my hand in hers, and so we would go along hand in 
 hand. 
 
 Occasionally during our walks we had rather amusing 
 experiences. One day, I remember, we lost ourselves, 
 or at least went a lot out of our way, in an olive-grove 
 in the neighbourhood of Rochebrune. As usual mother 
 was afraid of tiring me, and so we had sat down on a
 
 A VISIT TO THE RIVIERA 85 
 
 fallen tree, the only seat which we could see about us. 
 We had only been there a few minutes when a stout lady, 
 accompanied by a girl of about twenty, came along and 
 in broken French asked permission to sit on the tree-trunk 
 beside us. As we did not intend to move at once, mother, 
 of course, not wishing to be rude, immediately answered, 
 " Yes." Then turning to me she half -whispered a few 
 words which the elder lady recognised to be German. 
 
 " Oh, the ladies are German," she began at once in her 
 own language, her face radiant with that patriotism which 
 is so strong in the heart of every German, and which they 
 manifest so plainly when they meet with one of their fel- 
 low-countrymen. 
 
 Mother explained that we were Austrians, and entered 
 into conversation with the zest which she was wont to 
 show upon such occasions. She dearly loved to be in- 
 cognita, and was only cold and distant with people who 
 knew her rank and with whom she had to be, as she ex- 
 pressed it, " on parade." The German lady proved to 
 be very talkative, and had soon told us where she came 
 from and how she liked the Riviera, but found !Monte 
 Carlo too noisy, and a difficult place to recognise celebri- 
 ties on account of the crowds. She catalogued the roy- 
 alties in the Riviera for the season, or likely to arrive soon 
 — the Empress Eugenie, Queen Victoria, the Prince of 
 Wales, and the Emperor and Empress of Austria. I 
 could scarcely restrain my laughter, but mother gave no 
 sign. In spite of the unhappiness of her life she still kept 
 a spirit of mischief in her. She encouraged the German 
 lady to talk of the Emperor and Empress, and then, as 
 the other remarked what an interesting person the Em- 
 press was, she broke in with, " Oh, she 's a crazy woman; 
 I would not go a yard to see her, with her fan spread out
 
 86 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 in front of her face the moment she thinks you are look- 
 ing at her. I would just as soon look at my own fan " — 
 at the same time striking it against her knee and rising 
 to go. 
 
 The friendly German expressed her pleasure at having 
 met us, hoped to see us again, and gave the address of her 
 villa, as though inviting an exchange of confidences. 
 Mother hurried me away, scolding me mildly for the 
 mirth I was now making violent efforts to control. Our 
 inquisitive friend would soon enough find out to whom 
 she had been talking, she said. She was quite right. 
 Very shortly after the adventure in the olive-grove, 
 mother told me that as she was taking a walk with the 
 Countess Festetics and General von Berceviczy, she again 
 came across the lady, who stepped on one side with a deep 
 curtsey and a smile which showed that she had recognised 
 her. 
 
 But the incident did not close here. A few days later, 
 when I was out walking with Frau von Friese, we met 
 the two ladies again. Now, however, instead of stepping 
 aside, they crossed our path to speak to us, and after a 
 low curtsey, the old lady haltingly began: "Your Im- 
 perial Highness, please excuse me if I take the liberty 
 of stopping you. I only wish to beg of you to convey 
 my deep apology to Her Majesty, if we have perhaps be- 
 haved in a way we ought not to have." 
 
 If the good lady was embarrassed, I was still more so, 
 but Frau von Friese came to my rescue and answered for 
 me : " There is nothing to apologise for, my dear ladies, 
 since nothing unpleasant occurred. Nevertheless we will 
 convey your message." 
 
 The Germans were not yet quite reassured, and the 
 younger one took up the tale. I felt very sorry for them;
 
 A VISIT TO THE RIVIERA 87 
 
 and, embarrassed myself at their very embarrassment, I 
 suddenly blurted out: " I will explain to mother—" 
 
 I stopped abruptly. What a fearful blunder I had 
 made! We rushed away immediately. Frau von Friese 
 had turned quite pale, and for once was deprived even of 
 the Dower to scold me. 
 
 During this visit to the Riviera, not a day passed with- 
 out my seeing mother. She seemed so happy about it, and 
 indeed quite as happy as I was myself. Even if we could 
 not see each other in the daytime I would creep into her 
 bedroom for an hour after she had retired. To do this, 
 I had to descend from my own room on the first floor to 
 the main hall of the hotel on the ground floor. Then, 
 taking great care that no one should see me, I slipped 
 into the corridor leading to my mother's apartments. 
 Hurrying down this, I passed through the room reserved 
 for the ladies of the bedchamber into my mother's own 
 room. She was always in bed before I arrived, and I 
 would sit on the edge of it, or else would lie down near her, 
 often in her arms, with my head on her shoulder. We 
 were both silent and both content at being in each other's 
 company. 
 
 It must not be thought that it was easy for me to escape 
 observation. My mother's attendants, though few in 
 number, were always on the alert, and might easily have 
 caught me had they wished. There were General von 
 Berceviczy; Feifalik, her private secretary; Pali, her 
 Greek reader at that time; and the Countess Festetics, 
 besides her other ladies and the servants. But at my ap- 
 proach they all vanished. I was so naive as to believe 
 then that their disappearances were accidental and that 
 none of them knew what I was doing I
 
 88 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 " My poor Weiberl," mother said to me on one of the 
 first evenings of our stay, after I had crept trembhngly 
 to her room, " you are a brave little girl. 'Now I want 
 you to tell me the real truth. When you have to humble 
 yourself like this for my sake, don't you feel vexed with 
 me?" 
 
 " Oh, mother dear!" I cried, "have I ever given the 
 slightest sign of vexation? Are you dissatisfied with me 
 that you should speak like that? " 
 
 She saw that I was upset, and hastened to comfort me. 
 She explained that she had only been afraid I might think 
 it was owing to a caprice on her part that I had to live as 
 I did, in such secrecy always, and that I might feel that 
 I was being deprived through her of the rights and priv- 
 ileges which should be mine. I was an Archduchess, and 
 did it not seem wrong for me to go through the streets 
 unrecognised, instead of receiving the salutes of the sol- 
 diers and the homage of the crowd? 
 
 But I assured her that such things as these were noth- 
 ing to me, when I was really so much better off than the 
 other Archduchesses, living under her care, as Gisela and 
 Valerie had never been allowed to live. I know that I 
 was perfectly sincere in talking like this. I did not con- 
 sider myself in the slightest degree lowered, but, on the 
 contrary, raised to a height by my manner of life, in such 
 intimacy with her. Nothing else could have brought me 
 such happiness. Moreover, the comedy of concealment 
 which we played together was too amusing and, above all, 
 too romantic not to please me. With the Wittelsbach 
 blood in my veins I could not escape the heritage of a ro- 
 mantic nature. 
 
 What my mother said on another occasion comes back 
 to me in connection with this question of an Archduchess's
 
 A VISIT TO THE RIVIERA 89 
 
 position. " You know, Weiberl," she told me once, " it 
 is the excessive honours they receive which spoil the char- 
 acters of those who are too young to understand that such 
 honours are paid not to them personally, but to the family 
 they come from. It is only natural that children should 
 have their heads turned in this way and come to consider 
 themselves of a superior clay. If I had had anything to 
 say in the matter, I should have forbidden them to ride in 
 the golden Imperial carriages or to receive militar)?- sa- 
 lutes before their sixteenth or eighteenth year. But, of 
 course, if I had even hinted such views I should have been 
 declared a lunatic, and so I never interfered. For my 
 own part, I do not care for such extravagances. I should 
 like to see them abolished. But the public loves them. 
 Drums and trumpets amuse it ! " 
 
 Like everything else in life, my enjoyable time on the 
 Riviera came to an end. In February, after several 
 weeks' holiday, I returned to Vienna with Frau von 
 Friese. Mother left at the beginning of the following 
 month for Ajaccio, whence she sailed for Naples. And 
 here she went on board her yacht the Miramar, and paid 
 a visit to her villa at Corfu, which she had built a few years 
 earlier.
 
 CHAPTER X 
 
 HOW A HOLIDAY WAS SPOILT 
 
 It was on May 1st of this year, 1895, that my mother re- 
 turned to Vienna, and she came to visit me at once. As 
 the Emperor went to Pola for some days on the 7th and 
 Valerie had gone home, she was perfectly free for a time 
 to spend every moment with me. When the weather was 
 fine we made excursions; and when it was wet we passed 
 the day at my home at Lainz. I kept a diary then, from 
 which I take a few extracts. 
 
 May Mh. To the Hinterbruhl with mother. 
 
 ?ith. With mother to Klosterneuburg, over the Leo- 
 poldsberg and the Kahlenberg, where we took tea. We 
 went down by the funicular railway to Nussdorf, and 
 from there home in a carriage. 
 
 Mh. To Hernals to see a poor family named Sperl. 
 Mother wanted to find out what they needed. [She after- 
 wards set them up in a small grocery business, without 
 letting them know who she was.] 
 
 10^^. Mother with me in the afternoon. Mr. Kaiser's 
 birthday. Lunched there. It rained all day. 
 
 11/^. Rain again. 
 
 IMh. A long walk to the Augarten with mother. 
 Weather still bad. 
 
 15^^. Mother only with me for an hour. 
 
 May IQth, Over the Aninger to Baden with mother 
 and Frau von Friese. 
 
 90
 
 HOW A HOLIDAY WAS SPOILT 91 
 
 19^^. Mother could not come to-day. There is a big 
 dinner-party at Lainz. Father back from Pola. Comit 
 Kakiocky, Prince Liechtenstein, and Comit Paar were at 
 the dinner. 
 
 20th. Examination at school. Mother again could 
 not come to see me. Another dinner-party at Lainz. 
 Father, mother, Stephanie, and Erzsie. 
 
 21st. JNIother came to see me and told me she could 
 not come again for several days, because Valerie was com- 
 ing. She stayed with me all the afternoon. 
 
 22nd. Franz [the Archduke Franz-Ferdinand] came 
 to Vienna alone. Valerie ill, and two of her children with 
 chicken-pox. So mother will be able to come and see me. 
 How lucky! 
 
 23rd. With mother to Forstel's in the Kohlmarkt. 
 Bought a very nice handbag for Lisa's birthday. The first 
 time in my life with mother in town. No one recognised 
 her. 
 
 27th, Franz has gone back to Wels. He was waiting 
 for Valerie all the time, but she could not come. 
 
 2Sth. Mrs. Kaiser has very bad eyes. Mother went 
 with me to see her. Laura is so silly. 
 
 31st. Lisa's birthday. A girls' party there. Prin- 
 cess Jeanne Ghika, Alica von Matacziz, Laura, and my- 
 self. 
 
 June 1st. End of school term. Most of the girls 
 cried. Some of them wrote their names in my album. 
 Among them were Sera Vlassak, Mizza von Voinovicz, 
 Marianne von Pittreich, and Wilma Roll. 
 
 2nd. Gisela came from JMunich with her two boys. 
 She will remain a whole week, so I shan't be able to see 
 mother. I am so disappointed. She would have been 
 free, as father has gone away to Graz.
 
 92 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 On June 10th my mother left Vienna for her annual 
 pilgrimage to the tomb of King Ludwig at Munich. She 
 stopped on the way to visit Valerie at Lichtenegg. She 
 had originally intended that I should meet her at Wels, 
 whence Lichtenegg can be reached by carriage. By this 
 arrangement we should have travelled together, as we did 
 in the previous year ; the time of her departure from Lich- 
 tenegg being undecided, however, this was impossible. It 
 was usual, when we went on a railway journey together, 
 for mother to have a private carriage attached to the train 
 while I took a separate compartment in the other part of 
 the train. Then, after we had started, I would make my 
 way to her carriage, so that, while officially she was alone, 
 actually I travelled with her. On this occasion, according 
 to her instructions, I left on the 11th for Munich, accom- 
 panied by Frau von Friese. Our separation was really 
 fortunate; for Gisela met mother on her arrival at the 
 station, and had we been together, even if as usual we had 
 left the train separately, it might easily have been very 
 awkward for us. 
 
 Our week at the Hotel Continental in Munich was 
 really delightful, though we were depressed by our visit 
 on the 13th to the tomb of the king. In token of her 
 never-failing remembrance, mother left a wreath of jas- 
 mine and roses, his favourite flowers. 
 
 On June 18th mother returned to Vienna, while on the 
 20th I went to spend the summer at Gmunden. This 
 time I was not separated from my dear Frau von Friese, 
 and we lived together in the same villa as in the previous 
 year. It was very charming, this httle villa with its 
 groves of walnut trees and pines at the back and both 
 sides. In front was a lawn with a f oimtain in the centre, 
 bordered by two rows of ancient trees interspersed with
 
 HOW A HOLIDAY WAS SPOILT 93 
 
 sweet-smelling jasmine and lilac. Gmimden itself is one 
 of the finest spots in the Salzkammergut, and as it is less 
 than an hour from the Imperial smnmer residence of Ischl, 
 it is much patronised by fashionable people. 
 
 A summer morning in this place is most lovely. How 
 enjoyable it was to breakfast on the terrace, with the 
 whole scene sparkling in the sun, the mountains only 
 wrapped in a light veil of fog; the air fresh with dew, a 
 perfect blue sky overhead, suggestive of unending peace 
 and quiet, and in the distance the mirror-like dark green 
 lake, where now and then the creaking of the oars of a 
 rowing-boat and the following splash were the sole sounds 
 to break the silence! How glorious it all was, and how 
 hlase must be the people who can look upon such beauty 
 with indifference, as if it were merely something else 
 which they can purchase with their gold! 
 
 Mr. and Mrs. Kaiser had also leased a summer villa 
 here, and so I spent some of my time at my own home and 
 some at theirs, especially at the beginning of the visit; 
 for mother stayed over three weeks at Bartfeld, in Hun- 
 gary, for the waters. She wanted at first to take me 
 there too, but she decided not to. She was afraid that, 
 owing to her great popularity in Hungary, she was more 
 likely to be recognised there than elsewhere when she had 
 me with her. Besides, she was accompanied by a big 
 suite, including the Coimtess Festetics, the Countess Kor- 
 nis, the Countess Mikes, her lady reader Fraulein Ida von 
 Ferenczi, and her Greek reader Pali. Her fear on this 
 occasion was no exaggeration, for she wrote me that she 
 could not go for a walk, even in the least frequented parts 
 of the forest, without seeing someone apparently bent on 
 meeting her. She also spoke in one of her letters of the 
 thoughtfuhiess shown by the Hungarians in furnishing
 
 94. THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 and decorating her private apartments, and expressed 
 particular pleasure at the delicate perception which caused 
 busts of her beloved Heine, as well as of her two favourite 
 Hungarians, Deak and Jokai, to be placed in her sitting- 
 room. 
 
 On July 24th she arrived at Ischl. After this we met 
 several times at Rimbach, a little place at the end of the 
 Lake of Gmunden, called also the Lake of Traun. 
 
 The first time we were alone together, my mother said 
 to me: "Babe, we have become indispensable to each 
 other. We spoil one another, and are too happy. You 
 will see that Fate has some trick to play upon us." 
 
 Prophetic words! 
 
 At the beginning of August the King and Queen of 
 Roumania arrived at Ischl, so that mother was unable to 
 come over to see me. Thinking to occupy the time, which 
 hung heavily on my hands, I begged to be allowed to 
 visit and nurse Laura, who was ill with bronchitis, follow- 
 ing upon an attack of measles. Frau von Friese and the 
 doctor at first opposed my idea, but ultimately gave way, 
 the doctor saying that Laura's illness was not contagious. 
 Frau von Friese probably consented the more readily be- 
 cause she desired to make her annual visit to Denmark. 
 Besides, she strongly approved of my affection for my 
 foster-sister. So it came about that I was installed as a 
 nurse, but not for long. On the sixth day I felt unwell 
 myself. I kept silence regarding my feelings, but the 
 next day I was so ill that I was compelled to remain in 
 bed. My attack, however, was slighter than Laura's, 
 since I was confined to bed four days only. During this 
 time Mrs. Kaiser nursed me. I must acknowledge her 
 great goodness in taking entire charge of me on this oc- 
 casion. She even went to the extent of putting me in her
 
 HOW A HOLIDAY WAS SPOILT 95 
 
 own room, leaving her own daughter to the care of others. 
 The malady must have been really very catching, for on 
 the day I rose from my bed ISlrs. Kaiser was obliged to 
 take to hers. 
 
 My governess's absence, coupled with the illness in the 
 Kaiser household, prevented mother from being informed 
 at once of what had happened to me. In fact, she only 
 learned of it on the same day that I got up. She came 
 over instantly to see me. Poor mother! At the sight of 
 me she could not keep back her tears, so anxious did she 
 feel about me. She herself had not been well, and it 
 made my heart heavy when I saw the tears rolling down 
 her cheeks. Had those who called her cold and lacking 
 in heart seen her then, they never again would have dared 
 to speak a word against her. 
 
 Though the illness proved so catching, mother insisted 
 on seeing Mrs. Kaiser to thank her personally for the 
 great care she had taken of me. *' You go first into JVIrs. 
 Kaiser's room," she said to me, " and tell her that I want 
 to see her. But for goodness' sake let there be no fuss. 
 Tell her she must remain in bed. If she tries to get up, 
 say to her it is on account of the servants that she must 
 stay where she is." 
 
 I carried this message word for word to IVIrs. Kaiser, 
 who smiled and consented to remain in bed. Then mother 
 went to her, and was really wonderfully gracious. 
 
 " Mrs. Kaiser," she said, " you have made yourself ill 
 through nursing my girl. Now it will be her turn to take 
 care of you." 
 
 Mother had arrived at the house quite alone, and, like 
 an ordinary stranger, had asked Mrs. Kaiser's maid (who 
 happened, unfortunately, to be a comparatively new one) 
 if she could see her mistress. How great was her embar-
 
 96 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 rassment when, instead of being admitted at once, she re- 
 ceived the answer that Mrs. Kaiser was ill and could see 
 no one! Timidly mother asked for Miss Lily or Miss 
 Laura. All this took place at the entrance to the villa. 
 How degrading it was for her, the Empress, to have to 
 beg for admittance at the hands of a maid, who, not know- 
 ing whether she was really a friend of the family, was un- 
 decided as to the advisability of letting her inside the 
 house! I wonder that she did not become angry before 
 Laura, whom the servant finally fetched, came to her 
 rescue. 
 
 During the whole of Mrs. Kaiser's illness my mother 
 sent every day to inquire after her and showed many 
 proofs of her especial regard. Among other presents 
 came several bottles of the priceless Imperial Tokay. 
 Her gratitude for Mrs. Kaiser's kindness to me was deep. 
 But then gratitude was one of the most marked of 
 mother's good qualities. 
 
 Mrs. Kaiser's illness took a dangerous turn. After a 
 few days she became delirious, and she remained in this 
 state for weeks, so that the worst was almost expected. 
 She had two nuns to nurse her in turn, day and night. 
 In her delirium she tried to send them away, not recog- 
 nising the moving black objects. 
 
 Although Laura was not far removed from me in age, 
 her character was much less mature than mine. Besides, 
 she was too impatient to be able to nurse her mother, so 
 that I felt it my duty to be near her. Frau von Friese 
 by this time was back again from Denmark, and, high- 
 minded woman that she was, was quite convinced that it 
 would do me no harm to see this side of life. 
 
 Mother, who was leaving for Aix-les-Bains on the last 
 day of August, had arranged that I should follow her
 
 HOW A HOLIDAY WAS SPOILT 97 
 
 there, and on this account had leased Dr. Vidal's garden, 
 so that we might the more easily meet each other. In 
 order not to run the risk of disappointing me at the last 
 moment, as had happened hefore when something unex- 
 pected caused a change in her plans, she had told me noth- 
 ing about this. After her first visit to Gmunden during 
 my illness, she came to see me several times again at my 
 own villa, where Frau von Friese now was, and it was 
 only on the last day that she spoke of her plan of taking 
 me with her. Unfortunately, just on the impulse of the 
 moment, I cried: " But can I go? Suppose, while I am 
 away, Mrs. Kaiser — " 
 
 I stopped short. But my mother drew me towards 
 her, and feverishly pressed kisses upon my eyes. She 
 fought a silent battle within herself, and finally she said in 
 a voice that was no more than a whisper : " You are quite 
 right, Weiberl. You cannot go away now. You are a 
 good, dutiful girl." 
 
 I was too young and inexperienced to understand then 
 what it cost her mother's heart to make this sacrifice. 
 All the summer, probably, she had been looking forward 
 eagerly to this time. She had planned everything so 
 carefully, and had not breathed a word of it before the 
 proper day. Even at the time I had an intuition of her 
 grief, although I could not realise how deep it was. I 
 tried to take back what I had said, and to argue that 
 events might take quite a favourable turn after all. I 
 must confess that I too was heartbroken now, when I 
 thought of all the lovely times of which I had deprived 
 myself. But it was in vain. Mother shook her head and 
 said: " Weiberl, darling, did you not hear me? I have 
 decided that you have to remain." 
 
 Then I knew that not a syllable more must be uttered,
 
 98 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 if I did not wish to make her angry. I could guess that 
 those firm words were meant more, perhaps, for herself 
 than for me. And so I stayed behind. 
 
 The succeeding weeks slipped swiftly by until the end 
 of September arrived. Laura had gone back to Vienna 
 with her father, and had been placed in a boarding-school 
 under the management of Fraulein Hanauseck. Mrs. 
 Kaiser was now quite out of danger, but the doctors or- 
 dered a complete rest for her. As I never returned to 
 yienna so early in the autumn, and as mother was in Hun- 
 gary, where she had gone from Aix-les-Bains, I remained 
 with Frau von Friese at Gmunden and spent much of 
 my time by the bedside of the patient. The autunm was 
 beautiful, and I enjoyed to the fuUest extent my walks in 
 the neighbourhood. 
 
 I remember several curious occurrences at this time. I 
 was known to everyone in the place, and there was plenty 
 of gossip about me. I noticed that I was even treated 
 with more or less deference, as befitted my real rank. I 
 was known by the title of " Princess," and was supposed 
 to be staying at Gmunden incognita. As I was walking 
 on the esplanade, it frequently happened that gentlemen 
 stopped to bow deeply to me, and that young girls made 
 curtseys. When I went to the bathing-place everyone 
 stared at me. It was probably considered remarkable 
 that I was always accompanied by Frau von Friese and a 
 maid; especially as the former never took the baths her- 
 self and the latter was manifestly waiting upon me. Per- 
 haps some people had already seen me in my mother's 
 company. Although the society at Gmunden was very 
 select, the place was a regular nest of gossip — probably 
 because the aristocratic quality of the visitors furnished 
 the local bourgeoisie with the more food for discussion.
 
 HOW A HOLIDAY WAS SPOILT 99 
 
 One day early in my visit I was standing by chance at 
 the gate of the Kaisers' villa in the dress which is called 
 the Deamdl — the costume of the upper Austrian peas- 
 antry, very fashionable at that time for ladies also. This 
 suited me well, as I was rather big. I did not notice that, 
 as I stood at the gate, a man with a camera took up his 
 position opposite me. I was therefore much astonished 
 when he came up to me and said: " I have taken the lib- 
 erty of taking a snapshot of you, mademoiselle. I could 
 not resist so charming a subject." 
 
 I only smiled bashfully, not knowing what to reply, and 
 he did not wait for an answer but passed on. How great 
 was my amazement when, as I was walking out one day in 
 the autumn with one of Mrs. Kaiser's two nuns, I met the 
 same man, who halted before me and with a low bow said: 
 " Your Imperial Highness, I owe you an apology. Your 
 Highness will remember that this summer I took the 
 liberty of taking a photograph of you, but I did not 
 then know who the charming young lady was. Your Im- 
 perial Highness may rest assured that no one shall ever 
 see the photograph." 
 
 For a moment I did not know what to answer, but I 
 did not lose countenance. With a smile that helped to 
 hide my embarrassment, I answered: " Keep it as a re- 
 membrance of me, but please do not show it to anyone 
 else." 
 
 And then, inclining my head slightly, as I had seen my 
 mother do, I passed on. What did the man mean? I 
 wondered. Who had been talking to him? 
 
 A second little adventure happened soon after this. It 
 was on a Sunday afternoon, very grey and dull. Sister 
 Ehzabeth, one of the nuns, noticing that I seemed rather 
 lonely and bored, said to Mrs. Kaiser, " Would not the
 
 100 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 young lady like to go to the entertainment which the par- 
 ishioners have got up to-day for the cure of our church, 
 in honour of his seventieth birthday? It will not be a 
 very grand affair, but it will serve to pass the time." 
 
 Of course I was eager to go, and as Frau von Friese 
 and Mrs. Kaiser raised no objection, a servant was sent 
 to the town to see if seats could be obtained. He re- 
 turned with two tickets. As Frau von Friese was not at 
 all interested in such things, I went accompanied by my 
 maid. We were shown by a young priest to some seats 
 in the third row. Just as we were about to take our 
 places another young priest hastened up, whispered some- 
 thing to our conductor, looked hard at me for an instant, 
 and hurried away. 
 
 " Euer Gnaden, please have patience a moment," said 
 the first priest. And now in front of the very centre of 
 the first row, where the old cure himself, Father Mayer,^ 
 was seated, we saw them place two large armchairs. 
 Then, with a low bow, the young priest motioned to me 
 to take these seats. 
 
 During the performance the actors, too, made most 
 respectful bows to me — to my great confusion. But the 
 climax came when the performance was over. The cure 
 rose to thank those present for their attendance, but first 
 of all he turned to me and expressed his gratitude for the 
 great honour shown him by my presence. To make mat- 
 ters worse for me, I had forgotten to put on a belt when 
 I dressed to come out, and so was obliged all the time to 
 keep my coat on, lest the watchful eyes of the audience 
 should notice this defect in my costume I 
 
 1 Father Mayer is still living, I believe. I noticed in a Vienna paper last 
 year, or the year before, a mention of another entertainment at Gmmiden in 
 honour of his birthday.
 
 CHAPTER XI 
 
 PROFESSOR KRAUS 
 
 Mrs. Kaiser being almost restored to health, and the end 
 of October having arrived, we all returned from Gmun- 
 den to Vienna. Although I had regular lessons from 
 Frau von Friese even when I was in the country, my 
 studies there were nothing like those in town, and this 
 winter saw a great increase of work compared with what 
 had gone before. For certain afternoons in every week 
 I attended classes at the school where Laura was board- 
 ing, Fraulein Hanauseck's. Then, in addition, I had a 
 number of private tutors at home, who taught me Greek, 
 Latin, mathematics, history, geography, literature, music, 
 et cetera. It was not intended by my mother or Frau von 
 Friese that I should be idle. 
 
 Among my teachers I had a special preference for the 
 one who instructed me in general history, in the history 
 of art, and in psychology; and he merits some attention 
 here. Professor Kraus, in spite of his forty years, looked, 
 with his eye-glasses and his clean-shaven face, more like 
 a student than a professor. It was with great reluctance 
 that he had agreed to give lessons to a girl — a thing he 
 had never done before in his life. In this instance he con- 
 sented for the sake of Frau von Friese, with whom he 
 was very good friends. But he told me afterwards that 
 he was glad he had consented. The hours spent with him 
 were not given over strictly to lectures from him, but 
 rather to an agreeable interchange of ideas on the matter 
 
 101
 
 102 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 under discussion. My observations appeared to amuse 
 and interest him very much. I remember that once, hav- 
 ing been allowed to choose my own subject, I wrote an 
 essay outlining a new law to help the unemployed. Upon 
 reading the title he looked at me and smiled, but when he 
 had finished the essay he said : " You should keep this. 
 You may have use for it some time. There are some 
 Utopian ideas which you will discard, but the rest is very 
 good. Unfortunately, I myself am not an expert in po- 
 litical economy, so that I am unable to advise you. But 
 vou seem to have a natural talent in this direction, and 
 will not need much instruction." 
 
 We spoke of many subjects together, and after I had 
 related to him the miserable experiences I had had with 
 Father Lambertus, I thanked him for being the first to 
 teach me to think in a logical way. 
 
 By chance the Professor came to know my secret. The 
 discovery was made one afternoon soon after my return 
 from Gmunden. It had been arranged that he should 
 sometimes give me my lessons in the library instead of in 
 my study, especially when I was engaged upon the his- 
 tory of art ; for then we examined illustrated works on the 
 subject, which were too large to be carried easily into the 
 study. Now on the library table stood a framed photo- 
 graph of my mother. On the first day, immediately he 
 entered the room, he noticed it and remarked quite casu- 
 ally, " Ah, the Empress! " 
 
 " M — mm! " was all I could mutter in reply. I really 
 did not know what to say. He stared at me for a mo- 
 ment, but said nothing more at the time. 
 
 Another afternoon, not long afterwards, Frau von 
 Friese was not at home, and Fraulein Hain was with us 
 in the library, when suddenly mother arrived, quite un-
 
 PROFESSOR KRAUS 103 
 
 expectedly. She was told that I was having a lesson, 
 and that Frau von Friese was out. Now the servant had 
 not noticed that I was in the library, and it was this very 
 room that my mother entered to wait until I should come 
 to her. It happened that just at that moment we were 
 silently examining a book, so that not even our voices 
 gave her warning of our presence. She opened the door 
 — and imagine her stupefaction ! I can still almost hear 
 her little cry of dismay as she shrank back from the room. 
 But it was too late. Quickly as she had retired, Profes- 
 sor Kraus had seen her first. Fraulein Hain rushed out 
 of the room. The Professor looked at me and smiled, 
 while I, I should imagine, was wearing the most imbecile 
 expression that a human being could wear. The Pro- 
 fessor, however, was quite equal to the occasion. Taking 
 up my mother's photo, he said: " Please do not be trou- 
 bled, Princess." He sometimes already jestingly ad- 
 dressed me thus. " On the day that you answered 
 ' M — mm,' I felt that I had not made any mistake when 
 I instinctively gave you the title of Princess ; and to-day 
 I am doubly proud. It is none of my business to mquire 
 how you are connected with the Empress. But," he 
 continued smihngly, "if it will reassure you. Princess, 
 I can promise you, upon my honour, that I can keep si- 
 lence, and I hope you will place at least as much confi- 
 dence in me as you do in your servant." 
 
 For answer I gave my hand. I was rather touched and 
 could only say, after a pause: " I will ask * the authori- 
 ties ' for permission to tell you my secret. I hope it will 
 be granted, and then if it is, I shall be giving you the 
 greatest proof of my confidence." 
 
 The Professor now took his departure immediately* 
 Mother, when I entered the room where she was waiting
 
 104 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 for me, did not know whether to laugh or not. Of course, 
 she was somewhat vexed at what had happened, but she 
 was not disposed to take the affair too seriously. Poor 
 mother! She had been through too much real tragedy to 
 be much upset by such a trifle. When I saw a smile on 
 her face, I could not contain my pleasure. And then I 
 told her how very considerate the Professor had been, and 
 concluded by asking if I could not tell him our secret. 
 Frau von Friese, who had returned while this was going 
 on, assured mother that he was really a trustworthy per- 
 son, and so mother gave a gracious consent. 
 
 " I propose, dear," she said, " that we give this story 
 a pleasant ending. When does the Professor come 
 again? " 
 
 " The day after to-morrow, in the afternoon." 
 
 " Very well, then, I will come too. But before I see 
 him. Babe, you must tell him who you are, and say 
 that after the lesson your mother wishes to make his ac- 
 quaintance, so that he is to come into the hbrary." 
 
 I was so happy that I threw myself upon her to kiss 
 her, and put my two arms tightly round her neck, a thing 
 I never used to do ; for my respect for her would not allow 
 me to do so. Usually, when my feelings were stirred, I 
 would kiss her hand passionately, and then she would take 
 me to her and cover my face with kisses. But this time 
 I was quite beside myself with joy at the granting of my 
 prayer concerning the Professor. Mother gave the con- 
 strained little laugh peculiar to her in moments of nervous 
 tension, and said to me, " Babe, Babe, soon I shall be un- 
 able to call you by that name. You seem to be so grown 
 up already that you put yourself quite on a level with 
 your mother." 
 
 I hid my face abashed on her shoulder; for, gentle as
 
 PROFESSOR KRAUS 105 
 
 her words had been, I understood that they conveyed a 
 rebuke. She had her own pecuHar way, not only with 
 me, but, I beheve, with her other children also. In her 
 eyes I had committed a great error. A child should not 
 be so familiar with her mother. And she was right, for 
 a mother does lower herself in the eyes of her child if she 
 does not insist on due respect. 
 
 However, there was the excitement of preparing the 
 revelation for Professor Kraus to help me for the mo- 
 ment to forget my deserved rebuff. Two days after the 
 incident in the library I had another lesson from him, and, 
 of course, immediately confided to him my secret. When 
 I told him that I was the daughter of the Empress, he 
 was overwhelmed with astonishment. *' I was eager to 
 know who you really were, but I did not expect that! " he 
 exclaimed. " I racked my wits to solve the problem, but 
 in vain." 
 
 As mother had ordered me, when the lesson was over, 
 I asked him to permit me to present him to her in the 
 library. He appeared quite embarrassed at my request. 
 Not being a courtier, he did not know what to say, and 
 so endeavoured to escape. " I shall be most honoured," 
 he stammered. " But I am not suitably dressed. And, 
 besides, what shall I say on the spur of the moment, all 
 unprepared? " 
 
 I could not help laughing, and tried to encourage him, 
 assuring him that mother was far more unassuming than 
 any woman he could possibly know; and as for his cos- 
 tume a frock coat would put a stop to all friendliness. 
 
 He scratched his head in trepidation still, then quickly 
 passed his hand over his hair to make it smooth again, 
 and we went into the library. His embarrassment did 
 not last long, for mother, when she wished, could be more
 
 106 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 winning than anyone else I ever met, and now she was 
 at her best. She gave him her hand, and in a moment put 
 him entirely at his ease. 
 
 They talked together for nearly half an hour. Mother 
 told him how she had heard, through me, several of his 
 ideas, both literary and psychological — ideas which in- 
 terested her very much and which she wished to talk over 
 with him personally. If it were possible, she would like 
 to be present at my next few lessons from him. 
 
 And indeed she did come several times, and to me it 
 was really a pleasure to listen to them discussing. 
 
 " Do you know, Professor," mother said to him the last 
 day on which she came, " I would like to spend some time 
 in the country with you, where, unhampered by conven- 
 tion and inspired by Nature, we could freely exchange 
 our views." 
 
 She spoke in her impulsive, charming way, which really 
 was far indeed removed from flirting, though no doubt, 
 especially when she was younger, it might easily deceive 
 a man with a good opinion of himself. 
 
 One had but to know my mother to realise that with 
 her to say a thing was to do it. Once an idea entered her 
 mind, she proceeded at once to carry it out. So now, be- 
 fore she left for Mentone, she said to me : " Now, Wei- 
 berl, try to be very clever! I am going away for some 
 time. While I am away, you must think of some plan 
 by which we can spend this summer together without 
 being disturbed." 
 
 Once again I was on the point of throwing my arms 
 around her neck. But, guessing my impulse, she came 
 towards me and put her arms about my shoulders. I was 
 so happy I almost cried. 
 
 Might I talk with Frau von Friese about the plan? I
 
 PROFESSOR KRAtJS 107 
 
 asked. Of course I might, mother answered; and we 
 would invite Httle Professor Kraus to help us spend the 
 time. 
 
 And now I vainly cudgelled my brains, day and night, 
 for a suitable scheme for our summer holidays. Frau 
 von Friese would teasingly ask me how far I had got in 
 my undertaking, which made me feel desperate. Some- 
 where in a quiet corner of the world, where nobody would 
 come to disturb us, in some remote little country place we 
 must meet. This was not so difficult. No one in the 
 house would dream who mother really was. But how to 
 get rid of her attendants quite baffled me. So time passed 
 on, and my despair increased, for I naively imagined that 
 mother had really relied on my ingenuity to find a plan. 
 I asked Frau von Friese how mother had managed in 
 other years when I had to spend weeks and weeks with 
 her. 
 
 Then I had been a little girl, Frau von Friese replied, 
 and my mother might have been supposed to have taken 
 me with her out of charity and to amuse herself. But 
 now I was too big; and, besides, I had grown too like her 
 in appearance for anyone to miss the resemblance and be- 
 lieve the story of my being a motherless child upon whom 
 the Empress had taken pity. 
 
 How relieved I was when mother came back at last 
 and I found that it did not really depend upon me to in- 
 vent the plan ! She soon put me out of my suspense. As 
 she smilingly asked how I had progressed with my scheme, 
 I imderstood all, and was all impatience to hear what she 
 had arranged. She had discovered, she said, a charming 
 little place, quite near Ischl. It was so close to the Im- 
 perial villa that she could easily visit me for a short time 
 at least every day. As she was in the habit of making
 
 108 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 long excursions from Ischl into the mountains, it was very 
 much to the satisfaction of her suite when she suggested 
 that she should leave them at home. The worst that could 
 happen was that she might have to take some of her more 
 intimate attendants with her now and then. Once or 
 twice a week she would be able to remain away overnight, 
 and if at any time she did not feel like walking she would 
 stay with me in my home. The suite would only say that 
 the wandering instinct was stronger in her than ever be- 
 fore, but no one would attempt to hinder her. So this 
 would be the nicest time we had ever spent together. 
 
 I was so happy that I could have danced for joy as she 
 unfolded her plan. And she, too, seemed to be in such 
 good spirits over it as were unhappily not too common 
 with her now. 
 
 When she had left me last I still felt some little shame 
 over my too impulsive conduct on the day when she had 
 granted my request concerning Professor Kraus, and her 
 mild rebuke still dwelt in my mind. But the remembrance 
 only made me the more feverishly anxious to see her again. 
 She had gone from Vienna to Mentone and from there 
 for a cruise in the Mediterranean. Toward the end of 
 March she had written to me from Corfu and sent me a 
 marble statuette after her statue of Achilles. By doc- 
 tor's orders she had remained at Corfu nearly the whole 
 of April. But the enforced rest and quiet did not relieve 
 her nervous trouble so much as the doctor had anticipated. 
 She wrote to me that this was probably on account of her 
 intense longing to have me with her. She was so forget- 
 ful and abstracted at the time that her attendants would 
 often stare at her in wonder. Poor mother I 
 
 On the last day of April she arrived in Budapest to be 
 present at the opening of the exhibition in connection with
 
 PROFESSOR KRAUS 109 
 
 the Hungarian millennium, and there she was detained 
 nearly two weeks. My diary shows me that it was on 
 May 13, 1896, that she came at last to see me again in 
 Vienna. 
 
 On the day that I knew that she was coming to me my 
 excitement was so great I could not sit still. Every few 
 minutes I went to the window to see if her carriage was 
 in sight. The more impatient I became the more time 
 seemed to creep. I kept looking at the clock to see if it 
 had not stopped. Then I tried to read, but in vain. A 
 carriage would pass through my quiet street, and again 
 I would rush to the window, but still she did not come. I 
 crept into the library and finally into Frau von Friese's 
 room, like a fretful child. And then, at last, a soft i*um- 
 bling was heard from afar, there was a rolling of the car- 
 riage under the porch, and my heart brimmed over with 
 joy and happiness; and, laughing and shouting at the 
 same time, I sped out of the room — and into mother's 
 arms. How can I describe such a moment? Words fail 
 me ; but I can recall still the quiet happiness in her incom- 
 parable eyes, the perfect silence of the first moments, and 
 then the outburst of speech. What a lot we had to talk 
 about ! 
 
 How well she made me understand the intensity of her 
 longing for our meeting. She repeated to me what she 
 had so often written already about the days of torture and 
 the nights without peace. All remedies were vain — all 
 except one, at least, and that she knew she must not take. 
 If she had sent for me she would have been cured. But 
 I must be left to my studies, and so she conquered her 
 heart. 
 
 Now that we were together again she seemed to be 
 trying to fathom the uttermost depths of my soul. On
 
 110 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 my part, I felt bound to confess to her every thought of 
 mine, however insignificant. She looked at me so search- 
 ingly that I could keep nothing from her, much less tell 
 her an untruth. These moments were to me far more 
 sacred than an actual confession to a priest has ever been. 
 Kneeling at her feet, I could have prayed to her as to a 
 saint. And the more she questioned me, the more I loved 
 her, for I was the better able to realise how great was her 
 care for me. 
 
 After we had unburdened our hearts like this, mother 
 would ask Frau von Friese to come to the drawing-room 
 with us, and the time would pass very pleasantly, for their 
 enjoyment of each other's society never grew less. Even 
 now, sometimes, I live these scenes over again. On even- 
 ings when the silence of my room is imdisturbed save by 
 the ticking of the clock or the whirl of some passing mo- 
 tor-car, time is no more, and I am at one with the past. 
 Again I see my beloved mother sitting in the large, pale- 
 blue armchair, her small white hands resting on its arms, 
 her soft smile expressing the happiness of the moment. 
 Again I hear her low, sweet voice mingling with Frau 
 von Friese's cheerful conversation, which always seemed 
 to refresh her so. And then comes Pirker, wearing his 
 most solemn expression, and almost noiselessly he opens 
 the folding doors leading into the dining-room. Mechan- 
 ically all three of us rise. Mother takes my arm, and 
 we go slowly into the next room. The conversation is 
 continued while Pirker serves the tea, and with it usually 
 mother's favourite dish, cold game-pie. In the midst of 
 the talk, mother takes, it may be, a little flask out of her 
 pocket. It is of crystal, beautifully cut, and has a golden 
 stopper. On its sides is a representation of the dance 
 of the Nine Muses in relief. On the top is an enamel
 
 PROFESSOR KRAUS 111 
 
 face, wearing a black mask, the eyes being little diamonds. 
 Frau von Friese admires the flask, but with some restraint, 
 for she knows what is coming. 
 
 " Do you like it, my dear Friese? I bought it in Paris. 
 It is really most artistic." 
 
 And now Frau von Friese is bound to acknowledge 
 its dehcate beauty, whereon immediately mother says: 
 " Would you care to have it, dear Friese? Please do 
 me the favour of accepting if. It is none the worse for 
 the few weeks' use I have given it. Perhaps it will re- 
 mind you sometimes of your loving friend." 
 
 Slightly embarrassed, Frau von Friese accepts the gift. 
 I cannot remember that mother ever made her a present 
 as if she were saying, " Here is something for you." She 
 always knew how to manage it so that my governess 
 seemed to be conferring a favour upon her in accepting it. 
 
 At the end of the tea, just before rising, mother slips 
 something surreptitiously under her serviette. But Pir- 
 ker knows very well what it is.
 
 CHAPTER XII 
 
 SOME HAPPY times; AND THE PROFESSOE's DIARY 
 
 It was my mother's custom to remain for a considerable 
 part of each spring in Vienna; that is to say, at her own 
 palace of Lainz. This year, 1896, I saw more of her than 
 ever before. A restless eagerness for my society seemed 
 to possess her. She usually came over to my home early 
 in the morning, and we either took long walks together 
 or else she remained with me in the house. She took an 
 interest in the smallest matters which concerned me, and 
 supervised everything. For instance, because I did not 
 hold myself well, she ordered me to sleep without a pillow 
 on my bed. As I did not place my feet correctly when 
 walking, she directed that I should wear iron supports 
 for my boots. She thought I was growing too stout, and 
 so I was put on a special diet, which deprived me of my 
 favourite dishes. Every day saw some new command 
 intended for my good. She seemed to find great happi- 
 ness in being thus able to watch over me; and I, for my 
 part, was both happy and proud that I absorbed so much 
 of her thought and attention. The little discomforts of 
 my daily programme mattered not at all to me. I felt 
 with delight her guiding hand in all the details of my life. 
 At the end of May the Emperor Francis-Joseph went 
 to Budapest, and mother was quite free to do as she 
 wished. Her health had grown very much better during 
 the past few weeks, and she was often in quite good spir- 
 its. On the afternoon of the day the Emperor left Vi- 
 
 112
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S DIARY 113 
 
 enna she came to see me. We were in the sitting-room 
 after our five o'clock tea, and I was expecting her to de- 
 part within the next quarter of an hour. But I noticed 
 a playful smile about the corners of her mouth, like that 
 on the face of a card-player about to put on the trump 
 card that will win the game. Leaning back in her arm- 
 chair, she looked first at me and then at Frau von Friese. 
 Neither of us had the slightest idea of what was to come. 
 Suddenly she turned to me and said, " Do you think. 
 Babe, that you could find room enough in your bed for me 
 to-night?" 
 
 I was so amazed that at first I could not realise the 
 meaning of her words. This seemed to amuse her 
 greatly, for she laughed as heartily as if she were making 
 up for years of restraint. The next moment I was out 
 of my chair, dancing and clapping my hands as I shouted : 
 *' Mammi, Mammi, Jeckus ! Mammi, ist's moglich Du 
 bleibst da?" (If I had been a little American girl I 
 might have said, "Oh, Gee! Mamma, do you mean to 
 say you 're stopping right here? ") 
 
 " It is quite true," mother answered. " I did not tell 
 you of my intention before because I wanted to enjoy 
 your surprise more thoroughly." 
 
 Frau von Friese now suggested that it was not neces- 
 sary for mother to sleep in the same bed with me. But 
 she answered that it was just here that the pleasure of 
 the whole escapade lay, and that she did not wish it other- 
 wise. 
 
 Mother had sometimes lunched at my home, and regu- 
 larly took tea with me ; but this was the first time she had 
 ever had supper with me in Vienna, in fact her first even- 
 ing spent with me except on the occasion of my accident. 
 She did not wish us, she said, to add anything to our menu
 
 114 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 on her account, except some Frankfurter wiirstl and 
 horse-radish. { This hking for Frankfurt sausage, by the 
 way, has been imputed to her, if not as a crime, at least 
 as a serious error of taste!) I see from my diary that we 
 had for supper also herring salad, veal cutlets done with 
 bread-crumbs, green peas, and cakes and fruit. It is curi- 
 ous how children love recording such details ! The great- 
 est fun came, however, when we were going to bed. I was 
 so big that she could wear my night-gown, and I shrieked 
 with laughter when I saw her attired in it. We slept 
 together, and she had to stop me talking, or else I should 
 not have gone to sleep at all that night. I remember well 
 the pleasing impression I had upon first waking the next 
 day. Mother was already awake, and greeted me with a 
 bright smile. That morning there were no lessons. 
 Mina had a difficult task in brushing and combing 
 mother's hair, and it was Frau von Friese who had finally 
 to arrange it to the best of her ability. I have often won- 
 dered how mother, with her quick, impatient nature, could 
 show herself so particular and so patient over the dressing 
 of her hair. 
 
 The same afternoon my mother left us and she pur- 
 posely kept away on the following day so as to prevent too 
 much comment on her conduct. Further to lull suspicion, 
 she went for a long excursion with the Countess Festetics 
 and Christomanos, whom she had recently engaged for 
 the second time as her Greek reader. They visited the 
 Kahlenberg on June 1st, my diary records. On June 
 2nd, however, she took me with her over the Helenenthal 
 to the Eisenes-Thor (the Iron Gate), the greatest height 
 in the neighbourhood of Vienna. She parted with me at 
 Baden station, and from there I went the same day to 
 stop with the Kaisers, who were on their summer holiday
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S DIARY 115 
 
 at Voslau. On June 1st Mr. and Mrs. Kaiser had cele- 
 brated their silver wedding. Among other presents that 
 Mrs. Kaiser received was a pair of beautiful grey pearl ear- 
 rings, set in diamonds, from mother. 
 
 It was arranged that I should go to Voslau, because 
 mother was obliged to pay a second visit this year to 
 Budapest in honour of the millennium of Hungary's ex- 
 istence as a nation. There was a great assembly on this 
 occasion in the House of Magnates, at which both Em- 
 peror and Empress (or King and Queen, as I should say) 
 were present. President von Szilghy in his speech paid 
 special homage to mother; so touchingly, indeed, that it 
 was noticed that she could not answer, and that her eyes 
 filled with tears. 
 
 On the 10th mother returned from Budapest, and dur- 
 ing the remainder of the month we met frequently and 
 made many excursions together around Vienna. On 
 July 1st I went with Frau von Friese to Ischl, where 
 mother had taken a place for me. It was more like a 
 hunting-box than a villa, but was none the less cosy for 
 that. It stood in the middle of a park, surrounded by 
 old trees; adjacent to it were farm-buildings and stables, 
 which gave the whole a very rustic appearance. It was 
 quite an ideal place for the simple life. 
 
 Mother did not arrive until two weeks later. She first 
 went to Bavaria, to spend some days at Tegernsee with 
 her brother, the Duke Karl-Theodor. With him she went 
 to Hohenschwangau, where also they were joined by my 
 sister Gisela, wife since 1873 to Leopold, second son of 
 the Prince Regent of Bavaria. On July 4th, only three 
 days after my arrival at Ischl, a note from her came unex- 
 pectedly to Frau von Friese. She wrote very briefly, and 
 quite in her own characteristic style : —
 
 116 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 " Bring my Babe over to Hohensehwangau on Friday. 
 Am making an excursion on foot, and want to take her 
 with me." 
 
 This idea had occurred to her quite suddenly, and she 
 herself posted the little note. The knowledge that she 
 was only a few hours away from me made it impossible 
 for her to resist the temptation to have me with her. With 
 one guide we made the journey round the Plansee to 
 Linderhof, and remained there overnight. For this one 
 among King Ludwig's palaces I have never cared. It 
 might impress simple minds as being magnificent, but to 
 the more sophisticated it can but appear as lacking in re- 
 finement. The king was not a practical architect, and 
 his builders had ample opportunities of tricking him. At 
 the end of two days I returned to Ischl ; but mother went 
 to Munich, on her visit to the grave of King Ludwig. On 
 June 15th she arrived in Ischl. 
 
 Of the pleasant summer idyll this year at Ischl I have 
 a description written by an abler pen than mine — an ex- 
 tract from the diary kept by Professor Kraus. I must 
 give a few words of explanation as to how this diary came 
 into my hands. 
 
 One rainy afternoon, after my mother's departure from 
 Ischl, Professor Kraus was sitting in the writing-room, 
 with a manuscript book spread out on the table before 
 him. As I went up to the table, just by chance my eyes 
 caught the word, " Princess." Of course, I immediately 
 concluded that he was writing about myself. 
 
 "Professor," I cried, "that is something about me! 
 You must let me read it. Please, please!" 
 
 I was curious, I must confess, to see what he had 
 written — not so much about me as about mother. But
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S DIARY 117 
 
 that I should ever use his notes one day in a book of mine 
 was about the last thing I should have dreamt of then. 
 Professor Kraus now smiled at me mischievously through 
 his glasses, and told me that it was impossible I could 
 see his manuscript. Still I persisted ; and still he refused. 
 I tried all ways to persuade him. He must have said 
 something bad about me, I remarked at last. He accused 
 me of vanity in thinking he had written only of me. 
 Thereupon I became offended and haughty, which had 
 the desired effect. He protested that he had not meant 
 to be rude, and that the few memoranda which he had 
 made for himself alone about his pleasant visit were not 
 worth my reading, and would only make me laugh. I 
 made no answer and pretended to be unmoUified — until 
 he handed me the book. He did so not altogether unwill- 
 ingly, it occurred to me after, for he could not really be 
 displeased that we should see the complimentary things 
 he had said about us. 
 
 I myself was so delighted with what Professor Kraus 
 wrote and his manner of writing that I copied the whole 
 of it into my own diary before I returned him his book. 
 Here is what he said : — 
 
 " July llth^ 1896. Erau von Friese and the Princess 
 invited me, some time ago, to pass a few weeks at their 
 little sunmier-place near Ischl. Her Majesty also took 
 it into her head that she wanted to know what I would 
 be like in the country. All three ladies promised me 
 that my time would be well spent. Now that is just 
 where it was. My time, my precious time — should I risk 
 its loss in this Court atmosphere? But they all guaran- 
 teed that no courtly taint should be allowed to reach me; 
 and finally I accepted. Very many, no doubt, would be
 
 118 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 astonished at my reluctance, would eagerly grasp at such 
 an opportunity and look upon it as a great honour. But 
 this is how I am built. I am an untamed creature, and a 
 little bit of a revolutionary. I don't care a fig for these 
 honours. Why then have I accepted? I had no plan for 
 the summer, and, to make it worse, all my friends kept 
 asking me the same dull questions — ' What are you going 
 to do with yourself this year? ' * Where are you spending 
 your holidays ? ' * You are up to something extraor- 
 dinary again, of course? ' So I really had to think what 
 I could do. With six months ahead of me and a com- 
 fortable balance at the bank, I should have been all right. 
 But I had only two months, and funds were low ! Should 
 I go to some place for the waters? Such a plan never 
 appealed to me. Should I make a walking tour in the 
 mountains ? I should be a dwarf amongst the giants, and 
 I never envied the pygmies. Besides, it would mean toil- 
 ing up the mountains, and I am too lazy for that sort of 
 thing. What about the seaside? I was there during the 
 whole of last summer, so I have had quite enough of that. 
 Then there was the simple life in a country village. What 
 amusement could I find in that? Certainly I do not care 
 a snap of my fingers for society. But total isolation — 
 no reasonable man could stand that for more than two 
 days at a stretch. I speak from experience! 
 
 " I see nothing else left except to try the little fairy 
 castle. I do not expect very much, but perhaps, after 
 all, there may be some surprise in store for me. It is 
 true there will only be women there — yet not ordinary 
 women. I have a rooted aversion to the word ' superior,' 
 and only use it sorely against my will. So here I make 
 a vow that I will not allow myself to be imposed upon 
 by the ' superiority ' of their birth.
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S DIARY 119 
 
 " Thus it came about that early in the morning of 
 July 9th, my one-horse cab, which I had ordered the day 
 before, stood at my door. In spite of the early hour, the 
 air was very sultry. Bon voyage! The omens are good. 
 In such weather one might be tempted to feel sorry for 
 the poor people who have to remain in this oven of a city, 
 but then I am not so kind-hearted as all that. The 
 thought only made me feel the more comfortable, and it 
 was with a cruel and malicious joy that I stepped into the 
 cab. My trunk was already on the box beside the driver. 
 At a crack of the whip Rosinante sets herself in motion. 
 But the pace is not very great, for at every second corner 
 building operations are in progress, filling the air with 
 an atrocious dust. Again we have to stop in front of 
 reeking cauldrons of liquid tar, belching forth their poi- 
 sonous fumes; or are held up by a whole file of rattling 
 and whistling street-cars, blocked on the line. Finally 
 the station comes in view. On the platform there is a 
 tremendous bustle. Every compartment is overcrowded, 
 and each passenger wants one to himself. But everything 
 has an end — or, rather, a beginning — and so we begin 
 to move. I won't describe the journey; journeys are all 
 very similar. There are the mothers with their families, 
 hunting in the racks for packets of provisions; the chil- 
 dren quarrelling over a magazine; the men grumbling 
 because they are in the wrong carriage and cannot smoke ; 
 the old maids shivering and complaining about the 
 draught; and so on and so forth. 
 
 " At Ischl station an elegant two-horse equipage is 
 waiting for me. Adolph, I say to myself, from now on 
 you must play the grand seigneur; and with this I lie back 
 in the carriage as if I had never known what it was to 
 walk. The drive is a fairly long one. We pass several
 
 120 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 farmhouses, where the dogs bark after us, and barefooted 
 children bow humbly — to the elegant carriage rather 
 than to its occupant, I am sure. We roll past woods and 
 meadows, and finally turn into a shady chestnut avenue. 
 We go more and more slowly, and just as I am beginning 
 to realise how dusty and dirty I look and am pulling out 
 my handkerchief, we stop at a small flight of steps. It is 
 too late. Pirker, the Princess's major-domo, comes to 
 meet me. I am ushered into a fairly large but very cosy 
 hall, with bamboo chairs and numerous palms and ferns. 
 All is perfectly silent ; quiet and rest seem to smile out of 
 every corner. Pirker leads me up one flight of stairs. 
 On the landing stands a footman, who opens the door. 
 For a moment I hesitate. I cannot possibly present my- 
 self before the ladies in such an untidy state. But Pirker 
 is evidently a thought-reader, for he says immediately, 
 * This is the Professor's apartment.' 
 
 " Reassured, I step in. My room is a big one. There 
 are two windows, in deep recesses; on their sills stand 
 flower-pots. Between the windows is a gigantic desk, 
 and beside it a book-shelf full of books. In the middle of 
 the room are placed a large sofa and two heavy leather 
 chairs. Against the back wall is an old oak wardrobe, 
 and the bed stands in an alcove. A Persian carpet 
 spreads over the whole floor and gives the finishing touch. 
 
 "So far all goes very well, I think to myself. I could 
 not be better lodged; and if they make it as comfortable 
 for me in everything else, they will not get rid of me 
 quickly. Pirker was standing behind me. ' If the Pro- 
 fessor needs anything,' he said, * will he please just ring 
 the bell? The footman is at his service.' 
 
 " I nodded a dignified assent and asked, ' When may I 
 pay my respects to the ladies? '
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S DIARY 121 
 
 The ladies are out driving. They will meet the 
 Professor downstairs in the hall a little before seven.' 
 With this Pirker bowed low and retired. 
 
 " More than an hour and a half still remained to me 
 before the rendezvous. I proceeded to make myself com- 
 fortable and ordered a bath. I lingered over one thing 
 and another, so that, before I realised it, it was already a 
 quarter to seven. Slowly and quietly I went downstairs, 
 step by step. Half-way down I heard already the cheer- 
 ful noise of mingling voices. Scarcely was I on the last 
 step when the Princess rushed toward me crying : ' At 
 last you are here, my little Professor ! ' 
 
 " Except for her and Frau von Friese, I did not know 
 anybody. I was presented to a lady with exquisite man- 
 ners, the Marquise de Pourtales; to an old clergyman 
 from Denmark, Herr von Jordans ; and to a young man, 
 who, as I afterwards learned, was a painter, Raday by 
 name. 
 
 " The whole party was exceedingly amiable to me, prob- 
 ably because I was a distraction to them. We conversed 
 for a few minutes, and then Pirker came to announce with 
 a deep bow that dinner was served. He was the only 
 thing in the place to remind us that we were not in the 
 presence of ordinary mortals! 
 
 " Dinner was not laid in the dining-room ; we stepped 
 out upon a great terrace. One could not imagine any- 
 thing more delightful than the view. All around were the 
 dark green woods, separated from the house only by a 
 lawn, dotted here and there with blossoming rose-bushes. 
 On the terrace itself stood groups of orange trees in tubs, 
 with their golden fruit shuiimering amid their green leaves. 
 The air was impregnated with the scent of roses and 
 oranges, pleasantly mingled with a faint odour of the
 
 122 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 coming meal, which reminded one of matters less poetical, 
 but nevertheless very welcome to anyone as hungry as I 
 was at that moment. The dinner was really excellent. I 
 do not know why, I had an envious feeling that I must 
 find something wrong, something to criticise. I could not 
 resign myself to an admission that, for once in my life, 
 everything was exactly to my taste. 
 
 " We remained on the terrace, after drinking our coffee, 
 vmtil half-past eleven. A lovely summer night, with 
 myriads of stars. Princess retired about nine o'clock. 
 
 " July 12th. One can have breakfast between seven 
 and ten. At half -past eight I was on the little veranda 
 of the breakfast-room, as it is called. This room is a 
 fine example of the old German stuhe [living-room] ; 
 time-blackened panels on the walls; a big heavy table in 
 the middle, with high carved wooden chairs around it; 
 along the walls the typical pewter-ware; in the windows 
 leaded glass. All that was missing to complete the pic- 
 ture was some old character of the right period, Hans 
 Sachs, Albert Diirer, or the like. The veranda itself 
 looked more like a summer-house, all overgrown with 
 vines. 
 
 " At the table Frau von Friese was already seated, and 
 at her side the clerg;y^man. Just as I arrived Princess also 
 came in, with the Marquise de Pourtales. Everyone 
 greeted the others ; a few words were exchanged, but soon 
 silence reigned, for each of us was satisfying his or her 
 hunger. The breakfast was an ideal one, to my mind. 
 Our tea was brought round to us; but everything else 
 stood on the table, and we helped ourselves as we liked — 
 to pale-pink, home-cured ham, fresh crawfish, pate de foie 
 gras, caviare, eggs, honey, cherries, strawberries, apricots, 
 and cakes. The first to talk again was the old clergyman,
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S DIARY 123 
 
 who had been earlier at the table than the others, but grad- 
 ually the conversation became more animated. 
 
 Please do not take any notice of me,' said Frau von 
 Friese. ' You must excuse me while I make my daily 
 notes in this book.' 
 
 " We were still sitting when Pirker brought the morn- 
 ing post to us. Frau von Friese said to Princess in a 
 most matter-of-fact way, ' A letter from your mother.' 
 Princess's face lighted up with joy. But Frau von Friese 
 read the letter herself and put it on one side, as if this 
 was the natural thing to do. I stared in amazement. 
 Why did she not pass her the letter? Frau von Friese 
 did not seem to notice my surprised glances. But Prin- 
 cess did, for she looked at me, and I imagined that I could 
 read in her eyes the words, ' You see what I have to put 
 up with ! ' I cannot tell why, but suddenly a great feel- 
 ing of pity for her came over me. 
 
 " July IMh. Never could I have believed that I should 
 feel so much at home as I do. Everyone does as one likes 
 here. I only wish life could go on like this always! 
 
 " Princess has an admirable character. It cannot be 
 easy to be uniformly patient when one has to do just the 
 contrary of what one would like to do.^. . . 
 
 *' July 15th. For the last few days I have been taking 
 a, walk every morning with Princess at seven o'clock. It 
 is a lesson in psychology that I am supposed to give her; 
 but while we call it psychology, we talk about everything 
 under the sun. 
 
 " She loves her mother fanatically, and in turn, it seems 
 to me, is completely dominated even to the extent of 
 
 1 1 realise acutely that I must ask the reader's indulgence when I repro- 
 duce these compliments to myself. I have, indeed, cut out some sentences 
 here and elsewhere, in which the Professor passes a judgment upon me whicli 
 I feel to be unduly favourable.
 
 124 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 tyranny by her mother's love for her. Everything the 
 child thinks, she must try to remember so as to be able to 
 repeat it to her mother. I asked her what obliged her to 
 reveal her thoughts thus; whereupon she answered me: 
 * For nothing in this world would I hurt my mother by 
 refusing her anything.' 
 
 " ' Princess, there is no question of that,' I said. * What 
 the eye does not see the heart does not grieve for.' 
 
 " * Well, I shall never try to hide any of my thoughts 
 from mother. And, besides, it is a great pleasure to me 
 to tell them to her.' 
 
 " * Now, if I were in your place,' I said, ' I should tell 
 what pleased me and keep the rest to myself.' 
 
 " ' Dear Professor, if you were sitting in front of an 
 angel like my mother, a person in whom you could never 
 find the slightest fault, who was purer than all the world, 
 could you then have the heart not to tell her all that she 
 wanted to know — especially if you understood that she 
 only expected this in order to be able to protect you the 
 better? ' 
 
 " ' Then, Princess, not one single idea belongs to you 
 alone? ' 
 
 " ' No, not one.' 
 
 " A question came into my mind, but I did not know 
 how to put it. Forgetting that, in spite of her grown-up 
 ways, she was still but half a child — and my pupil to boot 
 — I determined to ask it. 
 
 " ' Princess,' I began, * as we are studying psychology, 
 there is a problem which I should like to ask you to solve.' 
 
 "*Ask it. Professor; I hope I shall be able to give 
 you a satisfactory answer.' 
 
 " * I am very bold, Princess, for I am going to ask you 
 a question which even Her Majesty has never asked.'
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S DIARY 125 
 
 " I paused for a moment. Princess was walking a step 
 ahead of me, and although I bent down to pull a blade 
 of grass to induce her to stop, she did not do so. I put 
 my question therefore. 
 
 " ' Princess, did you never lie awake in bed? ' I asked. 
 
 " On this she did stop for a moment, and she fixed 
 a pair of astonished eyes on me, as if she now would ask 
 me for the solution of an enigma. Did she understand 
 me, or did she not? Still she said nothing, and I was 
 forced to continue : — 
 
 " ' I remember you told me that you were once ill for 
 a long time, and you had to remain in bed. . . . Princess, 
 about what used you to think then? ' 
 
 " ' Oh, about all sorts of beautiful things — things that 
 one can never really experience in this world.' 
 
 " The absolute candour of her reply was such as could 
 only come from perfect purity of mind. 
 
 " * And you have shared all those dreams with your 
 mother? ' 
 
 " ' Mother once questioned me. Professor, in the same 
 way as you; but with this difference — that she wanted 
 also to know all the details. At first I hesitated and — I 
 will be frank. Professor — I even cried a little when I 
 was forced to confess these thoughts of mine. But mother 
 made me understand tjohy I should confess everything.' 
 
 *' ' And you have never the slightest doubt, Princess? ' 
 
 " * A doubt about my mother? ' 
 
 " I looked at her for a long time. She is a strange 
 creature — so intelligent, and so independent, so quick- 
 witted for her age, and yet, in spite of all this, her self- 
 denial is so great. Again I had that peculiar impression 
 I have so often had of her, that she really likes this life 
 of self-denial and effacement.
 
 126 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 " July ISth. The Empress Is here now. The charm 
 of our little society, strange to say, has only increased 
 since she came. I imagined that everything would be- 
 come stiff and uncomfortable, and am astonished. Of 
 course she decidedly dominates all, but she would dominate 
 just the same if she was not the Empress of Austria. 
 She has a kind of triumphant grace about her; and what 
 is so peculiar is that one can never for a moment think of 
 her as an elderly lady. She is not in as good health as 
 usual, and cannot gratify so much as she would wish her 
 passion for mountain climbing. We have a great deal of 
 music. Frau von Friese has a glorious voice, and Prin- 
 cess accompanies her. The painter also sings very 
 well. . . . 
 
 " July 26th. To-day I had a walk with the Empress 
 alone. After discussing all sorts of subjects, she said 
 something which led to a long conversation : — 
 
 " ' People do not understand the way in which I treat 
 my daughter. The day will come when they will under- 
 stand my intentions. My method is obscure to you, too, 
 Professor, is it not? ' 
 
 " This brusque question took me by surprise, and I 
 answered in some embarrassment : * I admit, your Ma- 
 jesty, that I don't entirely understand it.* 
 
 " ' For instance, Professor, I allow my child so little 
 freedom of thought.' 
 
 " I could see that the topic had not come up merely 
 by chance. 
 
 " * But it is really awful,' I blurted out, letting my 
 tongue run away with me. 
 
 " * Awful? ' repeated the Empress. * Awful for 
 whom? '
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S DIARY 127 
 
 " * Why, the Princess, your Majesty. This imprison- 
 ment of the thoughts, just at the age when the fantasy 
 is beginning to develop so rapidly. . . .' 
 
 " ' Yes, and to bring with it mischief upon mischief. 
 Is it wrong, then, if I talk over everything with my 
 daughter and enlighten her in my own way, and keep 
 from her the wrong impressions which she might get from 
 others? You call this imprisoning her thoughts. Profes- 
 sor? ' She gave a low laugh, and continued banteringly: 
 * Professor, do not look so gloomy. I am not in the least 
 annoyed with you. On the contrary, I thoroughly under- 
 stand you because you have the common point of view. 
 But think. Professor, of the gnawing worm which eats 
 into the heart of the child brought up according to the 
 current ideas. Let us be logical. If a child does an ex- 
 ercise badly or answers in a way it should not, we are 
 allowed to scold, to punish, yes, even to whip it — are we 
 not? Or if a child reads a forbidden book, we take away 
 the book and we blame the poor child. But the Book of 
 the Soul, which we read every night when we lie in our 
 beds, which in our youth excites us so much sometimes 
 that a cold perspiration runs down our foreheads; this 
 book we must leave open for the child, with its restless 
 imagination, to read. This is your view, is it not, Profes- 
 sor, that we should not interfere? So that, in fact, all 
 we must do for the moral education of the child is to give 
 the outer surface-polish. We all forget our own youth 
 so quickly, and we find it only too easy to say, "I let my 
 child develop itself after its own instincts." Think over 
 this. Professor. Remember how the worm has gnawed 
 into your own heart. When tlie fruit is once attacked, 
 there is no longer any hope for it. It must decay. And
 
 128 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 the moral beauty of the modern human being is in the 
 same way attacked and decays.' 
 
 " She paused, as if absorbed in the ideas which crowded 
 in upon her. As for me, I was so startled and impressed 
 by her words that I could not speak. But she did not 
 expect me to answer, and continued: 
 
 " ' My own life, too, has been devoured by the worm, 
 only with time the ravages have gone so deep that they 
 seem lost to sight. But I knew well the hardship of 
 struggling against the forces of evil all alone, with no 
 one to give counsel. What I have longed for all my life, 
 and what I have never been able to get, this I want for 
 my child — the true purity of the soul, the serenity of 
 mind that comes from knowledge — in a word, peace. It 
 was at a time of dreadful loneliness, when I had nearly 
 lost all hope in life, that destiny presented me with this 
 child; and more by instinct than by reason I recognised 
 that this was my work in life ; that for this purpose I had 
 to come into the world. I educate my child with every 
 impulse of my heart and soul. I agree that to strangers 
 my methods may seem like tyranny. But that I do not 
 mind so long as I am fortunate enough to be able to say 
 that such an idea has never occurred to my child.' 
 
 " We sat down on a bench, where both of us remained 
 silent, until at last I felt that I must say something. 
 
 " ' Your Majesty, it is worth the trouble you are tak- 
 ing. I really know the feelings that Princess has for 
 you.' 
 
 " At these words she smiled a little mockingly. 
 
 *' * Have you not found out that I know this also ? ' she 
 asked ; ' that she has told me of what you talked together ? 
 You yourself are something of a worm, you know. Profes- 
 sor! However, you see, I am afraid of nothing. You
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S DIARY 129 
 
 can talk to her about anything you hke, but just imagine 
 the chaos in this young brain if a number of Professor 
 Krauses were to talk to her, each with a different set of 
 ideas, and she had to puzzle it all out by herself. How 
 could she recover her peace of mind if every day brought 
 new impressions and new views? The end of it all would 
 be a ruined existence, in spite of all her talents and good 
 qualities.' 
 
 " She was silent again, and I could find no words. I 
 would have liked to listen for hours and hours to this won- 
 derful woman. She seemed to have become quite a dif- 
 ferent being in my eyes. This elegant creature, who had 
 at first struck me as so fantastic and exuberant, this dis- 
 tinguished and fascinating great lady, was, after all, but 
 a tortured and unhappy woman. I felt myself over- 
 whelmed with a respectful compassion for her august 
 grief. What I had mistaken for an affectation, a pose, 
 was perfectly genuine. Her melancholy was not only the 
 result of her son's death ; it was of the very essence of her 
 soul. The scales fell from my eyes. I held the secret of 
 the long martyrdom of a life whose sadness had always 
 seemed to me impossible to explain. I knew now the in- 
 justice of all those who affect to pity her without believing 
 in her real unhappiness, and who make fine phrases to de- 
 pict her as a type of Our Lady of Sorrows. 
 
 " She is so great, so above all other women. Every one 
 of her ideas is noble, to the extent that ordinary common 
 humanity cannot understand them. She must suffer in 
 the same way as an artist of genius who is denied recog- 
 nition in his life, and has to wait for death to become 
 known. With the highest ideals in her soul, she ascended 
 to a throne ; and there ' the worm ' of which she speaks at- 
 tacked her. There was no one to protect her against it,
 
 130 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 no one even to warn her. Had she but escaped she would 
 have reahsed her ideal of what a woman, a mother, and a 
 sovereign should be. Unappreciated as few persons in 
 history have been, she gave up the fight. But she, of 
 whom it has been lightly said that she is misanthropic, has 
 spoiled her life by too great a love for humanity. She 
 does not hate the people ; she loves them too much. But, 
 just as a rejected lover shuns the faithless and ungrateful 
 object of his love, so she has shunned them, and like him 
 again she pretends to feel scorn. 
 
 " And now she has but one object; she wishes to save 
 her child from her own fate. I hope with all my heart 
 that she may succeed. It seems as if Fate would reward 
 her for her admirable perseverance. . . . 
 
 " Such were the ideas flying through my head, when the 
 Empress got up, without speaking another word. Si- 
 lently we walked towards the house, both of us deep in 
 thought. 
 
 ''August 27th. The Empress has gone away again. 
 It was a hard separation for both mother and daughter. 
 I cannot understand why the Empress does not put an 
 end to this torture. I even made a remark to that effect 
 the morning before she left, but she answered : * No, no ; 
 that would be weakness, and quite against my views. She 
 is not yet far advanced enough in her education for that.' 
 Then, turning toward Princess, she said: * She has both 
 courage and good sense. Is not that so, Weiberl? ' 
 
 " Princess, who is usually so brave, only nodded her 
 head. She could hardly keep back her tears, which she 
 wished to hide for her mother's sake — and also, no doubt, 
 because such a weakness is forbidden to her." 
 
 This ends the extract which I am making from the
 
 THE PROFESSOR'S DIARY 131 
 
 Professor's diary. There are other pages detailing his 
 conversations with Frau von Friese and the views which 
 she imparted to him concerning the rigid discipHne to 
 which I was subjected. But further extracts would really 
 add nothing to what I have already given here.
 
 CHAPTER XIII 
 
 CONFIDENCES 
 
 The days of this sojourn at Ischl, of which the reader has 
 just heard what Professor Kraus had to say, were among 
 the most dehghtful in my whole life. After my mother's 
 arrival I could spend my time almost uninterruptedly with 
 her. Our pleasure was not marred by those thoughts of 
 a speedy parting that always bring with them the dread 
 of leaving something unsaid which it is most essential to 
 say. This feeling, so often with us, was absent now. 
 
 But the shadows which overhung our lives, if less in 
 evidence than usual, were not altogether away. Mother 
 was not in good health at the time. She had many sleep- 
 less nights. Through this, however, she spent them all 
 the oftener with me. I would lie with her in her bed or 
 sit by her until late in the night. To me this was a source 
 at once of joy and of surprise; for she did not seem able to 
 endure anyone else with her for long at a time. 
 
 It must be admitted that she sometimes sorely tried the 
 patience of those about her. But I cannot remember that 
 she ever had an impatient word for me. What made me 
 prouder still was that she, who was so sparing of her words 
 with others, seemed never tired of talking with me. Even 
 those most closely connected with her did not dare, or, 
 perhaps I should say, did not attempt to hold long con- 
 versations with her, on account of her great weariness. 
 Yet I could talk with her for hours without appearing to 
 
 132
 
 CONFIDENCES 133 
 
 weary her. On the contrary, she would grow animated 
 and refreshed. 
 
 Once I asked her about this; and she told me that, in 
 the first place, she liked the conversation of young girls, 
 who seemed to her more unspoilt than anything else by 
 the influence of the world — as though they still exhaled 
 the perfume which Nature gives her sweetest flowers. 
 And then, as I was moulded after her own ideas, in talk- 
 ing with me she was, as it were, talking with her younger 
 self. 
 
 Further, our continual separations had a peculiar in- 
 fluence upon her. With other people she was always 
 conscious that she could see as much of them as she wished, 
 with the result that she grew impatient and tired. With 
 me it was like being in some favourite spot, where she was 
 supremely happy, but from which she knew she must soon 
 depart. Everything grew doubly dear from the fact that 
 it must be left behind. My words were treasured up by 
 her like the wild flowers from the woods, treasured in joy 
 mingled with sorrow that soon they would be with her no 
 more. 
 
 Is it wonderful that I should feel happy at the remem- 
 brance of her words? And have I not the right to think 
 that, in all those years that we were together, there was 
 no living being for whom she cared as she did for me? 
 
 I cannot pretend to recall all the occasions of our con- 
 versations or the exact words used. I was no Professor 
 Kraus, to transfer to my diary the talk of each day. My 
 memory goes back to some days, however, with the utmost 
 vividness, and even the very words seem to me still to live. 
 There was an occasion, not long before the time of which 
 I have been writing I should imagine, when, as we sat 
 alone together, I said to her suddenly, " Mother, do you
 
 134 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 love my brotHer and sisters as much as you love me? " It 
 was one of those thoughtless, impulsive questions to which 
 I fear that I was rather prone. I could feel, by my 
 mother's trembling hands, how much I had hurt her. She 
 merely answered, however, that the others did not need 
 her now. *' And Rudy is no longer alive," she added in 
 a whisper. 
 
 My heart ached at the tone of her voice. I could not 
 say a word, but lost control over myself, hid my face in 
 her lap, and broke into sobs. Since the day when the 
 servant had come into my nursery and said, " The Crown 
 Prince is dead I " no mention of him had ever been made 
 in my presence. I had never properly realised that my 
 mother's only son, my brother, could be the same Crown 
 Prince who had died so many years ago. My thoughts 
 were all in confusion. When I raised my face,I saw that, 
 though mother had been weeping, she had mastered her- 
 self again. She told me not to grieve over what I had 
 said. For a long time she had been desiring the moment 
 when the last barrier between us might be broken down, 
 and we might speak freely on these subjects too. It 
 would do her good that I should ask whatever I wished. 
 
 I was emboldened by her words and said, " Had Rudolf 
 then been your favourite?" "He was my only son," 
 she replied, " a boy with a heart of gold. The world into 
 which he was born was not worthy of him, and his nobihty 
 and his faith in his friends cost him his life." " How did 
 he die? " I asked. But she shook her head. " Weiberl," 
 she said, " I cannot speak of this to you to-day. You must 
 first learn something about poHtics and the creeping base- 
 ness of it all." 
 
 I went on to ask about my sisters, and pressed her to 
 tell which of us she preferred. Gisela, she said, had been
 
 CONFIDENCES 135 
 
 educated by her grandmother, and was married very 
 young. Valerie, although nominally under mother's con- 
 trol, was not brought up according to her wishes. Only 
 with me had she the opportunity of carrying out her ideas. 
 I was all hers, and therefore the nearest to her heart. As 
 I heard her, I felt as if the highest of all decorations had 
 been conferred upon me I 
 
 I shall now take the opportunity of speaking of my 
 sisters, though it must be understood that what I say here 
 was not all told me by my mother at one time ; nor indeed 
 all told me by her alone, as I shall have to refer to some 
 events which happened after her death. Much of what I 
 have to tell, however, was derived directly from my 
 mother's own words to me. 
 
 Of Gisela she never spoke much. The fact of her being 
 brought up by the Archduchess Sophia made a great gulf 
 between them. Then Gisela on her marriage in 1873 to 
 Prince Leopold, second son of the late Prince Regent and 
 brother of the new King of Bavaria, became a Bavarian 
 by residence. Though visiting Ischl every summer, she 
 had and still has her home in Munich. Her husband is 
 a man of no great significance, and a strong contrast to his 
 brother. King Ludwig III, who has both character and 
 charm. Both husband and wife are good-natured, simple, 
 and insignificant — and therefore happy. They have 
 four children. The elder daughter, Elisabeth, created a 
 sensation in 1893 by marrying Baron Otto von Seefried, a 
 mere lieutenant in the Bavarian army. The Emperor 
 Francis-Joseph gave a reluctant consent, but Gisela so 
 strongly resented the match that she has not made up her 
 quarrel with her daughter since. At the time of the mar- 
 riage my mother was in Majorca, whence she telegraphed
 
 136 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 to the Emperor, advising that their grandchild should be 
 ordered to Vienna — not to separate her from her hus- 
 band, but to protect them both from scandal and hostil- 
 ity. 
 
 Gisela's younger daughter Augusta married the Arch- 
 duke Joseph, the elder of the two grandsons of Joseph, 
 Prince Palatine of Hungary, brother of the Emperor 
 Francis II ; wife and husband thus being distant cousins. 
 
 Of the two sons of Gisela and Leopold, the elder, 
 George, married only two years ago Isabella, daughter 
 of the Archduke Frederick and the Archduchess Isabella. 
 The marriage was a very unhappy one, the bride running 
 away after but two weeks. Having a genuine affection 
 for her mother-in-law, she consented to return. But her 
 husband's faults were too grave to be tolerated, and last 
 year she succeeded in having the marriage declared void by 
 the Supreme Court of Bavaria and annulled by the Pope. 
 The Emperor Francis-Joseph was very upset over the 
 affair, and was almost made ill again. The other brother, 
 Conrad, who is just over thirty and still unmarried, as yet 
 has made no mark in history. 
 
 Of Valerie mother always spoke much more freely than 
 of Gisela. She felt bitterly the farce that had been played 
 when it was pretended she should have the control of this 
 her second living daughter. Even when Valerie was quite 
 small this was really not the case. The ordinary relation- 
 ship between parent and child was not allowed to exist. 
 They did not even have their meals together. Valerie had 
 from her earliest days her own servants and her own cook, 
 who travelled with her wherever she went. So far was the 
 separation carried that when mother went for a summer 
 hoHday to Feldafing, in Bavaria, for instance, she would 
 stop at Strauch's Hotel (now the Hotel Kaiserin EHsa-
 
 CONFIDENCES 137 
 
 beth), while Valerie must not be lodged there but in the 
 house of the clerg}Tnan of the place. What intimacy 
 could there be in a state of affairs like this? 
 
 Valerie was very timid as a child, so much so that mother 
 found it difficult to extract from her what she reall}^ knew. 
 Her education was not at all according to mother's wishes. 
 It was one-sided. She was taught a great deal, while her 
 character was given httle chance to develop. She had 
 many teachers and governesses, all of whom idolised her; 
 not one of them ever treated her with the strictness neces- 
 sary at times for a child's good. Xo doubt the fact of her 
 being the youngest so long had much to do with the spoil- 
 ing she received. But it was the educational system which 
 was mainly at fault. Through an original gentleness of 
 disposition she did not grow so capricious as to make the 
 lives of those about her a miserj^ to them. But she cer- 
 tainly became in the end obstinate, self-willed and proud of 
 her attainments. It was claimed that she was very clever. 
 As a matter of fact, she was neither clever nor yet stupid. 
 One of her teachers was the celebrated Joseph Levinsky, 
 the Viennese actor and professor at the Conservatorium. 
 He first taught her elocution, as she had a very weak voice. 
 For long he could make nothing of her, and he was asked 
 to undertake her instruction in deportment as a princess 
 — how to walk, how to carrj^ her fan, etc. 
 
 Such things as these she undoubtedly learned. And in 
 the meanwhile her moral nature was starved. She was 
 never shown how to go down deep into the human heart 
 nor to understand the serious questions of hfe, which was 
 my mother's idea of education. How, indeed, could she 
 grasp the reahty of sorrow, when charity was taught her 
 by sending her out in a carriage at Ischl to throw sweet- 
 meats to the peasant children? Although her intimate
 
 138 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 friends — among whom the principal is the Countess Kin- 
 sky, born Aglae Auersperg, once not a little talked of in 
 connection with the Crown Prince Rudolf — use the famil- 
 iar Du (thou) to her, there is no free tone of equality in 
 her friendship. 
 
 Valerie was very simple in her tastes, with none of 
 mother's raffinement. Although she writes poetry, she is 
 very common-sense, and indeed bourgeoise. When she 
 was taken to Corfu once by mother, she said, as she 
 entered the Achilleion, " I hope that you will not leave 
 this to me, for I shouldn't know what to do here with my 
 children ! " 
 
 Her marriage took Valerie still farther away from inti- 
 macy with my mother. Her husband, the Archduke 
 Francis- Salvator of Tuscany, was also her cousin, though 
 only a remote cousin, both being descended in the male line 
 from the Emperor Leopold, elder son of Francis I. The 
 common accusations of unfaithfulness and hereditary ill- 
 ness cannot justly be made against Francis- Salvator. At 
 any rate, they have a large family of children, and her 
 cares as a mother have occupied much of the Archduchess's 
 time. It is perfectly untrue that she is epileptic. 
 
 Valerie developed political ambitions early, and in influ- 
 ence over the Emperor, her father, soon displaced both 
 mother and Gisela. Later, before the tragedy of 1914 
 took off the Duchess of Hohenberg, the morganatic wife of 
 Franz-Ferdinand, Valerie was an effective counter-influ- 
 ence to the Duchess. Of the Duchess I shall have more to 
 say in another chapter. Here I may mention that, while 
 she and Valerie both displayed bigotry in their religion, 
 Valerie is sincerer, franker, and less political in hers. She 
 does not use her faith as a weapon in the prosecution of her 
 schemes.
 
 CONFIDENCES 139 
 
 The home of Francis- Salvator and Valerie is at Lich- 
 tenegg. Valerie inherited my mother's chateau at Lainz. 
 When she stays in Vienna officially, however, she resides in 
 the Hofburg or at Schonbrunn.
 
 CHAPTER XIV 
 
 LUDWIG OF BAVAEIA 
 
 On a certain evening in the August of this same summer 
 holiday, after one of those interminable dull and rainy 
 days which are so frequent in the Salzkammergut region 
 at this time of year, my mother decided to go to bed earlier 
 than usual. She was still in poor health, and felt the need 
 of rest. I came and sat at the foot of her bed. The scene 
 comes back to me vividly. Our conversation had flagged, 
 and for a few minutes there was no sound to be heard 
 in the room except the splashing of the rain in the black 
 night outside. My eyes wandered restlessly, and fell at 
 last upon the portrait of King Ludwig II, which mother 
 had always on the table of her bedside, wherever she might 
 be. 
 
 My glance lingered upon the picture, and many thoughts 
 passed through my brain. I had long known what a deep 
 affection mother cherished for him, and had often won- 
 dered within myself what was the reason for its depth. 
 But I knew no details of his story — or, rather, I knew 
 scarcely anything about him at all, except that people 
 called him mad, and that mother always indignantly denied 
 the truth of this; and also that he had a special passion 
 for building palaces, to the ruin of himself and the great 
 impoverishment of his country, it was said, though it was 
 admitted that JBavaria had since reaped great benefit from 
 these same palaces, which so many visitors come especially 
 to see. As to how he had died, however, I had heard noth- 
 
 140
 
 LUDWIG OF BAVARIA 141 
 
 ing beyond that it was by drowning. I was very curious 
 about it, particularly since my mother showed such pro- 
 found respect for his memory, and, as I have told, im- 
 pressed upon me that I should show the same whenever I 
 might come to Munich. 
 
 As these ideas went through my head again now, I 
 broke out thoughtlessly, " Why were you so fond of Lud- 
 wig of Bavaria, mother? " 
 
 She started violently at my words, and I felt that I 
 should have liked to bite off my foolish tongue. I seized 
 her hands eagerly and kissed them, and then attempted to 
 speak of something else. But she recovered her self-pos- 
 session quickly, and in gentle tones told me not to feel un- 
 happy. My question had indeed been unexpected ; but she 
 would like to talk to me about him. She knew that I must 
 feel bewildered, and it was time that I should be enlight- 
 ened a little. 
 
 Her voice was so soft and low as to be almost unearthly. 
 There was in it the holy resignation of the martyr. A 
 faint smile was on her face, by which she tried to reassure 
 me — the smile of an angel. It passed swiftly, and I knew 
 instinctively that the veil was about to be lifted this night 
 from one of the saddest of tragedies. 
 
 And now she spoke slowly and thoughtfully, as if she 
 were recalling incident by incident the story of injustice 
 and cruelty. Again I must state that I make no pretence 
 of quoting the exact words, though it seems to me often 
 that I hear them actually as they came from her lips. 
 
 " He was not mad," she began. " They might as well 
 call Louis XIV mad, or any other man with great ideas. 
 The person who was most to blame in the matter was Bis- 
 marck. But, of course, one must not say so. Instead, it is 
 common to throw the chief responsibihty upon the Jesuits
 
 142 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 — who, for once in a way, cannot be justly saddled with it 
 here." 
 
 When it was proposed to proclaim the King of Prussia 
 German Emperor, she continued, Ludwig opposed the idea 
 strenuously. There was, indeed, for a moment a question 
 of assigning the Imperial office alternately to the Kings of 
 Prussia and of Bavaria. But Ludwig was young and in- 
 experienced, and at last he was prevailed upon by his ad- 
 visers, and particularly by his uncle Luitpold, afterwards 
 Prince Regent, to yield to the pretensions of Prussia. As 
 time went by he regretted more and more deeply his ac- 
 quiescence, and at last was capable of doing anything to re- 
 conquer the rights which he had abandoned. By then the 
 Emperor William I was very old — nearly ninety — and 
 illusions could no longer be cherished as to a long continu- 
 ance of his reign. At his death Prussia had good reason 
 to expect trouble. 
 
 Bismarck had staked body and soul to win the Imperial 
 crown for his own country, thereby himself becoming the 
 actual ruler in chief of the German Empire. He could 
 not have endured to see this power passing into other hands 
 than his own, and knew that Prussia was not yet strong 
 enough to keep it against vigorous opposition. The Iron 
 Chancellor realised that if there was a man capable of re- 
 sisting him, it was Ludwig of Bavaria. 
 
 It is generally asserted that Ludwig was destitute of 
 will-power. But this is false. On the contrary, he pos- 
 sessed perhaps only too much of it. It is true, however, 
 that he was not the man to make his way over the corpses of 
 his enemies, calculating and relentless, like another Bis- 
 marck. His generous heart forbade that he should act 
 thus. It has also been asserted that he was of a suspicious 
 nature. Alas ! if only this had been the fact, then his foes
 
 King Liidwig II of Bavaria
 
 LUDWIG OF BAVARIA 143 
 
 would not have found it so easy to triumph over him. But 
 he was trusting. Indeed, he was no ordinary mortal. His 
 soul was as pure as his body was beautiful. Perhaps that 
 is why he was not allowed to live a long life. 
 
 Bismarck, on the other hand, acted in a mean and cow- 
 ardly fashion toward Ludwig. He could not challenge the 
 King to a frank and open combat, with a fair field and no 
 favour. He found it simpler and more convenient to 
 weave round the King base and unparalleled intrigues. 
 
 It was not his fault that more blood was not shed than 
 was actually the case. His prime agent was the King's 
 Chief Equerry, Count Holnstein, who acted as interme- 
 diary between him and Prince Luitpold. Holnstein owed 
 everything in the world to his king. He elected to play 
 the part of Brutus. His is the eternal infamy of hav- 
 ing conceived the idea of declaring Ludwig mad, after 
 bribing for years everyone about him who was venal, and 
 treasuring up every little scrap of paper, until finally 
 he should be able to bring together a sufficient mass of 
 evidence, so-called, to prove his charge against his mas- 
 ter. 
 
 Ludwig had many debts, said my mother. Anyone else 
 in his position would have felt miserably ill, for what can 
 be more humiliating than monetary difficulties? Ludwig 
 had been brought up under a very bad system. Until the 
 time of his eighteenth birthday they never gave him a 
 penny of pocket-money. During the year which preceded 
 that in which he was unexpectedly called to the throne, he 
 was allowed a ridiculously small allowance of a few marks 
 a week. And then suddenly he came into possession of su- 
 preme power and a considerable fortune ; thereby the last 
 chance was taken from him of ever understanding the value 
 of money. On his accession, moreover, not merely was
 
 144 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 his conduct approved by those around him, but the very 
 smallest acts were extolled as great deeds. 
 
 No wonder, then, that he long continued to believe that 
 his power and wealth were illimitable ! Still, even if it be 
 allowed that he did very wrong to squander all his fortune, 
 where is the proof of madness? A great part of the world 
 would be an asylum if everyone who spent his money and 
 ran into debt were to be treated as a lunatic. It is un- 
 necessary to argue whether he did any good in his expendi- 
 ture of money. What harm he did he came to recognise 
 himself only too well. An act of abdication might have 
 been obtained from him, as from his grandfather Ludwig 
 I. It would only have been necessary to appeal to his 
 feelings of honour and self-respect for him to consent in 
 the end. 
 
 But proceedings of this kind would have looked unjust 
 in the world's eyes. The second Ludwig's errors had not 
 been gross enough to make a forced abdication the only 
 remedy. The assistance of a loan might be forthcoming 
 to put everything right for him. This was exactly what 
 his enemies feared. Gradually all but a few of his at- 
 tendants were corrupted, and all his ministers were in time 
 won over to act against his interests, so that the offers of 
 help finally made to him by the Orleans family and the 
 Rothschilds were intercepted and never reached him. It 
 is well known that in the last year of his reign Ludwig re- 
 fused to give audience to his ministers, conduct which 
 counted very much against him in Bavaria. But there was 
 nothing really remarkable about it. The ministers were 
 in the conspiracy and would come to him, he knew, not 
 merely without advice, still less to offer help, but actually 
 primed with injurious insinuations. 
 
 And now we come to the fatal year 1886. I wish I
 
 LUDWIG OF BAVARIA 145 
 
 could give the story, from this point at least, in my mother's 
 own words as she told it that night at Ischl, so vivid and 
 impressive, so full of emotion, so instinct with the tragedy 
 of the affair. I listened as if hypnotised, and never spoke ■ 
 except to urge her to go on. 
 
 The King had not returned to Munich in the spring of 
 this year, as he usually did. He remained at his castle of 
 Neuschwanstein. For more than a month past all sorts 
 of rumours had been flying about Bavaria. In the neigh- 
 bourhood of Hohenschwangau there stood the old palace 
 of the Knights of the Swan, rebuilt by Ludwig's father, 
 and high above it Ludwig's own fine palace of Neuschwan- 
 stein. The inhabitants were full of alarm and suspicion 
 concerning a plot against their king. 
 
 The general disquiet increased from day to day, until, 
 very early on the morning of June 9th, it became known 
 that during the preceding night a string of carriages had 
 arrived at Hohenschwangau, from which a party of men 
 had alighted at the old castle. It was a " commission " of 
 ministers and doctors, who had come with the intention of 
 forcing the King to sign an act nominating Prince Luit- 
 pold to be temporarily Regent of Bavaria while his own ill- 
 health compelled him to take a rest. As soon as Ludwig 
 should have signed, the command of the Regent would have 
 gone forth that he should be taken to Linderhof, on the 
 strength of a report which the doctors had already drawn 
 up (without seeing him for the purpose) , to the effect that 
 he was insane. 
 
 The loyalty of a few faithful servants wrecked this vile 
 plot. The King's own private coachman, Osterholzer, had 
 made his escape from Hohenschwangau up to Neuschwan- 
 stein and brought his master warning while there was still 
 time to provide against the conspirators' arrival. When
 
 146 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 the commission — whose members were the already men- 
 tioned Count Holnstein ; Baron von Crailsheim, Secretary 
 of State for Foreign Affairs ; Count Torring, a Councillor 
 of State ; Lieutenant-Colonel Baron Washington/ and the 
 two doctors, von Gudden and Miiller — reached the castle 
 of Neuschwanstein, accompanied by four keepers for the 
 " patient," they found to their great annoyance the gates 
 in the custody of the Royal Guards, who forbade admission 
 to anyone whomsoever. After long parleying the King 
 sent out word that he would see Count Holnstein alone. 
 The arch-traitor made but a short stay in the castle. After 
 one glance from Ludwig at the declaration presented for 
 his signature, the ambassador was flung down the stairs. 
 Ludwig had no doubt made up his mind to this drastic but 
 well-deserved punishment when he granted the interview. 
 Almost immediately afterwards the whole party was ar- 
 rested on a charge of high treason by the old sheriff of the 
 district, Sonntag,^ who had arrived while they were at the 
 gates. 
 
 The conspirators seemed beaten. But Ludwig, over- 
 trustful as ever, commanded that they should be taken un- 
 der escort to 3Iunich and kept there, instead of detaining 
 them, as he should have, at Neuschwanstein. At the same 
 time he sent an order to Baron Frankenstein in Munich to 
 form a new ministry to replace the existing one which had 
 betrayed him, and announced that he intended to come to 
 JNIunich himself to appear personally to his people of Ba- 
 varia, on whose loyalty he rehed. He could not start at 
 
 1 It is worthy of note that both Holnstein and Washington (a descendant 
 on his mother's side of the Grand Dukes of Oldenburg) had been plajTnates 
 of the King as a boy. When Ludwig was sent a captive to Berg, it was to 
 Washington that the charge of the household was given, though Dr. von 
 Gudden was responsible for the "patient." 
 
 2Sonntag afterwards died of a broken heart because he had let his pris- 
 oners go.
 
 LUDWIG OF BAVARIA 147 
 
 once, however, as he had but few about him, and was very 
 naturally doubtful about the fidehty of some of his serv- 
 ants. He therefore telegraphed to his aide-de-camp and 
 faithful friend, Count Alfred von Diirckheim-Montmartin, 
 to come to him immediately, and to summon to Hohen- 
 schwangau without delay a battahon of the 11th regiment 
 of Chasseurs, then at Kempten, whose attachment to him 
 was known. The telegram to Diirckheim, for safety's 
 sake, was sent via Austria, whose frontier was only an 
 hour's distance from Hohenschwangau. 
 
 A second telegram was sent — to my mother. She was 
 not in Vienna, nor, indeed, in Austria, but had been for 
 some weeks in Bavaria, at Feldafing. This was a regu- 
 lar resort of hers. In fact, she spent part of eighteen con- 
 secutive summers there, staying at Strauch's Hotel, which 
 I mentioned in the last chapter. Feldafing is only about 
 twenty minutes' walk from Possenhofen, where she was 
 born. Since the breaking off of the engagement between 
 Ludwig and her sister Sophie Charlotte, mother had not 
 been on the best of terms with her parents, which was the 
 reason why she preferred to stop at a hotel rather than 
 at Possenhofen itself. Ludwig spent his summers at the 
 castle of Berg, on the opposite side of the Lake of Stam- 
 berg, and was expected there this year — though not as he 
 actually came there, alas! a miserable prisoner. The 
 rumours which were flying about Bavaria had found their 
 echo in Vienna, but it had been impossible for mother to 
 get any definite news, especially as Ludwig in his letters 
 to her always avoided all mention of his personal troubles. 
 In her anxiety she left Vienna for Feldafing earlier than 
 usual, hoping there to hear something certain. Before 
 she left she obtained from the Emperor Francis-Joseph a 
 solemn promise that if Ludwig should be compelled to
 
 148 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 take flight from Bavaria and seek refuge in Austrian ter- 
 ritory he should be safe from capture. 
 
 For many years Lud wig's courier, a man named Zan- 
 ders, had been the medium of the correspondence between 
 his master and my mother. He had succeeded in gaining 
 the confidence of Count Holnstein by pretending to act 
 as a spy upon the King. Supposed by Ludwig's other 
 enemies to be one of themselves, he was thus able to learn 
 much and reveal it all to him. It was Zanders who 
 prompted the faithful Osterholzer on June 9th to hasten 
 to Neuschwanstein and give warning of the commis- 
 sioners' arrival at Hohenschwangau. He was one of 
 those entrusted with the task of bringing Ludwig a cap- 
 tive to Linderhof as soon as he should have signed the 
 proclamation. He had managed to upset this plan with- 
 out betraying himself, and had reached Neuschwanstein 
 with the rest of the party. With them he had been ar- 
 rested and sent off on the road to Munich. When they 
 arrived there all had been set free. Zanders then received 
 orders from the conspirators to go at once to Berg and 
 prepare the castle for the King's arrival. It had now 
 been decided that Ludwig should be taken there instead of 
 to Linderhof. 
 
 Zanders went to Berg, but took the opportunity, very 
 soon after his arrival, of hurrying to my mother at Felda- 
 fing. He was broken with emotion as he told her what 
 had happened at Hohenschwangau and of the King's in- 
 tention of going to Munich when Count Diirckheim should 
 have joined him. " They will not allow him to do any- 
 thing," he almost wailed. " They will countermand all 
 his orders, will put the Count in prison, and will rather kill 
 His Majesty than let him speak to his people." What 
 was to be done? Mother was almost beside herself with
 
 LUDWIG OF BAVARIA 149 
 
 despair, and unable to think of a plan which promised suc- 
 cess. It seemed too late now to convey the King from 
 Neuschwanstein to the frontier. Possibly he was already 
 on his way to Munich and into the hands of his enemies. 
 
 As mother and Zanders were in agitated consultation, 
 her Groom of the Bedchamber interrupted them to say 
 that a special messenger was waiting to see her. It was 
 Osterholzer. Ludwig, fearing that his telegram might 
 not reach mother, had sent the coachman to Feldafing with 
 a letter, in which he told her how things stood. He said 
 that he had sent a telegram to Bismarck, hoping to gather 
 from his answer what his real intentions were toward him ; 
 and another to the German Emperor, so that he might not 
 later be accused of neglecting to appeal to his natural pro- 
 tector. 
 
 After receiving this letter, mother calculated that the 
 King could not be proceeding to Munich that day, and 
 that Osterholzer therefore would be in time to take him a 
 message from her. She wrote to him to let events take 
 their course, to allow himself to be made a prisoner and 
 sent to Berg. From Berg it would be easier for her to 
 arrange his flight than from Hohenschwangau. 
 
 Osterholzer dashed off on horseback with this message. 
 Meanwhile, what Zanders had expected had come to pass. 
 Count Diirckheim, reaching Hohenschwangau about four 
 o'clock in the afternoon, had received telegraphic orders 
 from the Minister of War to return to Munich at once. 
 While he hesitated, a second summons came to him, and 
 as an officer in the Bavarian army he felt bound to obey, 
 however reluctantly. On arrival at Munich he was at 
 once arrested and sent to prison. As for the battalion of 
 Chasseurs from Kempten, on its way to Hohenschwan- 
 gau it was ordered to Munich, and the colonel, thinking
 
 150 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 that there had been some mistake at first, oheyed. In 
 place of the loyal Chasseurs a detachment of gendarmes 
 was dispatched to Hohenschwangau, with orders to sur- 
 round the palace of Neuschwanstein and prevent the 
 King's escape. 
 
 Osterholzer succeeded in conveying mother's message 
 to Ludwig. Poor man ! It was almost the last service he 
 was able to render his master. But Ludwig was not con- 
 vinced by what mother wrote to him. When he saw the 
 gendarmes in the distance he took them to be his faithful 
 troops. He was soon disillusioned ; and then he was com- 
 pelled to recognise that the advice given to him showed 
 the best and indeed the only way out of his troubles. 
 Those about him, not knowing all, could not understand 
 his sudden great calm. He did not even protest when Dr. 
 von Gudden made his appearance a few hours later, and 
 said to him, in a very brusque and disrespectful tone: 
 " In the name of the Prince Regent, your Majesty is 
 my prisoner! " 
 
 At the same moment the four keepers who accompanied 
 him made as though to lay hands on the King. But with 
 a simple gesture the latter put them aside. " Not neces- 
 sary," was all he said. 
 
 Ludwig was not even allowed to travel in his own car- 
 riage. A special landau had been prepared for him, with 
 iron bars at the windows, and straps on the seats to fasten 
 him down by if it should be desired. He was scarcely per- 
 mitted to take leave of his servants. When at the last 
 moment he spoke to his weeping valets, Weber and Mayer, 
 at the carriage-door. Dr. von Gudden addressed him as if 
 talking to a criminal rather than a patient: " Be quick, 
 please ! We have no more time to waste ! " 
 
 It was now four o'clock in the morning, and Berg was
 
 LUDWIG OF BAVARIA 151 
 
 reached at noon on Saturday, June 12th. The news of 
 Ludwig's arrival was at once taken to my mother at Fel- 
 dafing. And now there was very great necessity for 
 caution if suspicion was not to fall upon Zanders. It was 
 Osterholzer who brought the news from Berg. He re- 
 lated that the unhappy King was lodged in two rooms 
 which had hastily been fitted up like cells in a lunatic asy- 
 lum. The windows had been barred, and holes had been 
 made in the doors, through which the prisoner could be 
 watched constantly. The dining-room had been con- 
 verted into a bedroom for the doctor. 
 
 Mother understood that she must act as quickly as pos- 
 sible if the King was to be saved from utter despair. She 
 had on this same day received a communication from the 
 faithful Chasseurs that they were prepared to shed their 
 last drop of blood for their King, and that a detachment 
 of them was encamped at the moment near Feldafing, and 
 was ready to help whenever called upon. On the follow- 
 ing morning, Whitsunday, mother met Zanders by ap- 
 pointment in the woods by the lake side. He told her 
 that Dr. von Gudden was to go to Munich that afternoon 
 to make his report, and would not return until next day. 
 He himself had won over one of the keepers, promising 
 him the protection of the Empress of Austria if the plot 
 should fail, though that was very unlikely. 
 
 The King was in a desperate state of mind already from 
 his imprisonment. Zanders said; so that it was decided by 
 mother to take advantage of von Gudden's absence and 
 bring about the rescue the very same evening. A boat 
 was got ready and hidden in the rushes off the shore of the 
 park at Berg. Ludwig was to ask permission to take a 
 short walk in the park after sunset. The keeper who had 
 been won over would accompany him. On reaching the
 
 152 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 boat the King would row over to a spot on the opposite 
 shore between Possenhofen and Feldafing, where a car- 
 riage and four would be waiting in the cover of the woods. 
 Then, escorted by the Chasseurs, the King would drive off 
 at once into Austrian territory. It was to pass under 
 mother's windows at Feldafing, so that she would know 
 that Ludwig had been saved. 
 
 At this point in her story, I well remember, mother 
 stopped in great emotion, with her hand to her heart, and 
 when she went on it was in a voice that was barely audible. 
 " I was waiting in my bedroom when the clock in the 
 neighbouring church-tower struck nine. I had retired 
 early, and my suite had all left me at my request. Ten 
 o'clock struck, and still I was waiting. Nothing was to be 
 seen or heard, and the suspense was almost driving me 
 mad. Something ghostly seemed to fill the air. Was it 
 the moon, shining out mistily after a day of rain, that 
 caused those white shapes to glide over the waters of the 
 lake? A deathlike silence reigned everywhere around the 
 hotel, and I seemed to be the only thing alive. Sitting at 
 the open window of my room, I felt as cold as ice from 
 head to foot, and shivered repeatedly. The clock struck 
 midnight. Not another sound still. What could have 
 happened?" 
 
 Suddenly there came footsteps under the window. 
 Springing up, mother leant out. 
 
 " Where is the King? " asked a low voice. 
 
 She understood that it was one of the keepers who was 
 standing there. She told him to come inside, having al- 
 ready arranged that one of her suite should open the door. 
 
 *' Where is the King? " she asked in her turn when the 
 man had been admitted, and stood trembling before her. 
 
 " I hoped to find him here," he stammered.
 
 LUDWIG OF [BAVARIA 153 
 
 " What has happened? Why has he not come? " 
 
 The poar fellow looked at her aghast. At last he man- 
 aged to tell how he had accompanied King Ludwig to 
 within a hundred paces from where the boat was hidden. 
 There he was ordered to turn back, while the King went 
 on alone to the water's edge. He obeyed, but made his 
 way slowly homewards, after turning his head. Suddenly 
 he saw a man, whom he recognised as Dr. von Gudden, 
 jump from out of some bushes and run towards the King. 
 The latter sprang into the boat, but, though he had time 
 to iLinfasten the rope which secured it to the shore, the 
 doctor was upon him at once. A violent struggle ensued, 
 the boat swayed more and more, and finally it capsized, 
 and threw them both into the water. The keeper said that 
 he thought that they both succeeded in swimming clear, 
 but that the darkness prevented him from seeing more. 
 
 " The King is dead! " shrieked my mother, and fainted 
 away. 
 
 Even as she told me now, ten years later, she broke 
 down completely; and pressing me convulsively to her 
 heart, she cried: " Terrible, terrible! In him I lost more 
 than anyone can ever know — and in him, Weiberl, you 
 lost your best friend! " 
 
 This account of the facts connected with King Ludwig's 
 death, which my mother told me with her own lips, differs 
 at almost every point from the official statements and 
 widely also from the generally accepted version of the 
 story; if, indeed, one can speak of a generally accepted 
 version, when such a variety of accounts is offered by the 
 biographers of the King. But to me my mother's story 
 is convincingly true. 
 
 It seems that the projected flight of the King was be-
 
 154 THE SECRET OF A:N^ EMPRESS 
 
 trayed to Dr. von Gudden at the last moment, so that he 
 had no time to send word to Munich. He did not wish, 
 on the other hand, to reveal his knowledge to the other 
 guardians of the prisoner at Berg the existence of a plot 
 making him uncertain who was on his side, who on the 
 King's. Moreover, there were already disagreements and 
 suspicions between the doctors. He therefore attempted 
 to stop the escape single-handed. (Whether he had 
 started to go to Munich and returned, or never set out at 
 all, I do not know.) One thing may be said of him for 
 certain, that he sacrificed his life to his duty, miserable as 
 the duty of the doctor-gaoler may have been. It is un- 
 just to his memory to accuse him — as he has been ac- 
 cused — of wishing to murder the King. Had he so de- 
 sired, he could easily have found some criminal instrument 
 without risking his own life. 
 
 After the keeper gained over by Zanders saw the boat 
 overturn he had run down to the shore and wandered ir- 
 resolutely along it for a time. The boat drifted out of 
 sight, and nothing else was in view. He waited long, hop- 
 ing for a sign of either the King or the doctor. He might 
 easily have gone for another boat near at hand and rowed 
 himself over to the Hotel Strauch. But as it was still 
 fairly early he feared to be seen from the castle of Berg. 
 What he did, therefore, was to wander along until he came 
 to the village of Starnberg, at the head of the lake. Here 
 he ventured to take a boat and rowed over to Possenhofen, 
 where he landed and hurried on to the neighbouring Felda- 
 fing. He reached the Hotel Strauch after midnight, and, 
 as has been heard, came to my mother. Her protection 
 had been promised to him by Zanders ; and besides he may 
 really have thought that the King had escaped. 
 
 My mother's piercing shriek, "The King is dead!"
 
 LUDWIG OF BAVARIA 155 
 
 awakened the whole hotel. Some explanation had to be 
 invented to avoid comment and suspicion, and accordingly 
 the story was given out, and has been repeated ever since, 
 that on the same night that King Ludwig lost his hfe, the 
 Empress Elisabeth had a nightmare vision of her cousin 
 dead by drowning, and woke out of it with her terrible 
 cry, "The King is dead!"
 
 CHAPTER XV 
 
 MY "military yeae"; and first loye 
 
 I NOW resume the story of my own life, interrupted for a 
 time to tell of things more interesting and important. 
 Towards the end of August, 1896, my mother had to leave 
 Ischl for Vienna to be present at a grand reception given 
 to the Tsar and Tsarina of Russia. Our parting on this 
 occasion was harder than ever it had been. She was still 
 far from well, and was unusually depressed. I felt that 
 the strain of separation was almost too much for her 
 strength. Now she would again have no one to give her 
 affection like me in the long sleepless nights when she was 
 alone with her grief and pain. It was really remarkable 
 how much better she was when she had my company. 
 Her restlessness diminished, and she was able to sit or lie 
 still for spells at least. 
 
 On the last day of her holiday she said to me: " It is 
 only for a short time, darling. We must have patience. 
 Our separations will soon be over. As we have endured 
 them so long, we will not throw up the game now ! " 
 
 I whispered through my tears that it was only on her 
 account that I was grieving. For myself, to whom no 
 hardships came, I could bear it better. But she herself 
 had told me how terrible was the solitude in which she 
 seemed plunged, in spite of the devotion of those about 
 her. 
 
 For a moment a cloud seemed to pass over her pale 
 forehead — only for a moment, for it quickly vanished. 
 
 156
 
 MY " MILITARY YEAR " 157 
 
 But she told me I must never make a remark like that, 
 which might give numbers of poor souls mortification who 
 put themselves to great trouble for her. In my presence, 
 she continued, she never tried to hide her real feelings nor 
 to disguise her sadness when she was sad. But what 
 might be natural enough with me would only humiliate her 
 with others. 
 
 When she spoke so gently and lovingly to me, I really 
 would have liked to kneel before her. In spite of all her 
 sufferings, she was still beautiful and youthful-looking, 
 especially when her magnificent hair was loose. As she 
 looked then, so must the Madonna have seemed at the time 
 of her Son's crucifixion. Certainly it would have been a 
 truer pictiu*e than those in the churches, where the Virgin 
 is represented as young as on the day when the Redeemer 
 was born. 
 
 White still suited my mother wonderfully, especially 
 her white dressing-robe. I remember one morning beg- 
 ging her to undo her hair that I might let it glide through 
 my fingers. This was also a great sacrifice for her, but 
 with a smile she granted my request. 
 
 On the day of her departure we remained for a long, 
 long time together, I sitting at her feet with my two arms 
 about her waist. For the last half -hour neither of us ut- 
 tered a word. When we rose, the eyes of both were filled 
 with tears. We looked at each other, and our gaze said 
 more than any words that we could have spoken. We 
 were both in unusually low spirits. Was it because the 
 clouds so soon to envelop us were even now casting their 
 shadow over our lives ? Who can say ? 
 
 As it was many years since she had last made a public 
 appearance in Vienna, her visit at this time aroused the 
 curiosity and interest of the people to a remarkable de-
 
 158 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 gree. The Court, also, was at least as anxious to see her 
 as to see the Tsarina. Upon her return, she brought me 
 some mementoes of the festivities — flowers, sweets, rib- 
 bons, bonbonnieres, etc. 
 
 She told me her impression of the Empress Alexandra. 
 " Poor young woman," she said, " some day perhaps she 
 will be even more unhappy than I have ever been. There 
 is a fatal melancholy about her expression, which touched 
 me to the depths of my heart. She, too, has a mother-in- 
 law who will not make life too easy for her — another of 
 these ambitious creatures ! " She also said that the 
 Tsarina, when she greeted her, cried with sheer nervous- 
 ness. 
 
 In October I returned to Vienna. The coming edu- 
 cational year was intended to have an important bearing 
 on my future and was the strictest of all so far. " This is 
 to be your ' military year,' " said Frau von Friese to me. 
 *' Contact with young ladies such as you met at your board- 
 ing-school is all very well for the first drill, but now you 
 must go under a severer discipline. Now you must learn 
 to be democratic and mix with the poor creatures who do 
 not go to school to amuse themselves, but because they will 
 one day require to earn their daily bread." 
 
 She had discussed everything with mother. Her ob- 
 ject was to let me know as early as possible what went on 
 in the great outside world of those who were not born to 
 prosperity. " To learn to depend on oneself " — that was 
 her great principle. 
 
 This time, she told me, I was not to have anyone at the 
 school to look after me specially. I was to see the world 
 after the fashion of Peter the Great. My incognita must 
 be observed even more strictly than before. I must 
 simply take care of myself and try to imagine as nearly
 
 MY "MILITARY YEAR" 159 
 
 as possible that I was just as humble as those with whom 
 I mixed. 
 
 So it came about that every day henceforth I had to 
 spend several hours in a public sewing-school, the Frauen- 
 erwerbverein, amongst girls all of the lower, some even 
 of the poorest, class. I must confess that it was not very 
 pleasant to me; indeed, every day brought some new tor- 
 ture. In spite of the greatest self-denial on my part, it 
 was recognised from the very first that I was not of the 
 same class as the others, and that I had no real business 
 at the school — for whiph reason I had a very hard time 
 with the teachers. 
 
 We were seventy girls in a room, sometimes even more. 
 The hours were from eight to twelve in the morning and 
 from two to four in the afternoon. We were taught to 
 sew, cut out, and design in a practical way. During all 
 that time we were not allowed to eat anything but dry 
 bread, in order not to soil our work. But Frau von Friese 
 had acted rightly in sending me there. I had a sudden 
 insight into a corner of the world into which I had never 
 looked before. My eyes were all at once opened to the 
 depth of human misery. How thankful I felt that this 
 so-called " military year " was in reality only a case of 
 *' playing at soldiers," compared with the life of the other 
 weary, hungry-looking beings, who were but at the begin- 
 ning of their discipline of sorrow. For the first time I 
 began to appreciate the luxury which surrounded my life. 
 In the evening, when I lay down in my bed, I would not 
 immediately turn out the light. With an indescribable 
 sense of comfort I looked round upon my room. How 
 beautiful it really was, with its plants and flowers, its lace 
 curtains in the windows, its heavy Smyrna rug on the 
 floor, and its dainty white bed and soft white woollen
 
 160 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 covers ! Then I would think to myself how unjust all this 
 was. Here I lay, surrounded by all this luxury, without 
 having done anything all my life ! I was utterly ashamed 
 of myself. 
 
 I used to recall fragments of the conversation of my 
 poor classmates. " My God, my feet are frozen," one 
 would say. " But I 've got to stick it this month in these 
 worn-out old shoes. It 's my turn next month. Our 
 young Ferdy wanted some so badly, he could n't do with- 
 out them no longer." " What are you grumbling about? " 
 another would retort. " Anyhow, you 've got a warm 
 coat. Mine has n't even a lining! " 
 
 And I, for all my " military year," was protected 
 against all kinds of weather. If it was very bad, I drove 
 in my carriage to a neighbouring street — although I must 
 add that after I first heard such a conversation as the 
 above I absolutely refused to drive to school. Neverthe- 
 less, on my reaching home, the first thing my maid did was 
 to bring me a pair of warm slippers. 
 
 My ideas became very democratic, as those of young 
 people just entering the world of ideas usually are. I de- 
 sired even to reduce my household ! I was quite disgusted 
 with the ceremonious attitude of my old butler when he 
 was serving at table. Every silver dish offended my eye. 
 As much as possible, I denied myself all luxuries. 
 
 Mother always endeavoured to be in Vienna on St. 
 Charles's Day, so as to spend it with me. She arrived this 
 time at the end of October, and came to see me on the 31st. 
 Usually she brought me a lot of presents, jewelry and 
 trinkets — besides the six-carat diamond which was given 
 me on my name-day ^ each year. But this year, at my own 
 
 1 The name-day, that of one's patron saint, is far more important in Aus- 
 tria than the birthday. I do not even know the date of my birthday.
 
 MY " MILITARY YEAR " 161 
 
 request, she gave me very little, and consented instead to 
 my carrying out an idea of helping my classmates, which 
 I had confided to her. In fact, with her habitual charity 
 she improved on my original idea. She told me to find 
 out all the poor girls who could not afford to buy warm 
 clothes, and to get their addresses; then we would send 
 them, anonymously, everything they needed. This we 
 did, mother adding a hundred florins for each girl. They 
 never discovered who the donor was. This name-day was 
 the most joyful in my life, for I was happy in the thought 
 that so many of my classmates were happy too. I should 
 have been very glad to bestow upon them all real fortunes, 
 but naturally I had to curb my desires. 
 
 On December 4th of this year mother suffered a great 
 loss in the death of the Mistress of her Household, Count- 
 ess Goess, perhaps her dearest friend. I question very 
 much if their great intimacy was known even to those in 
 close contact with my mother, as otherwise the Countess 
 would most likely have been removed. Through the 
 hands of the latter, many secret correspondences and com- 
 missions were conducted. 
 
 Mother had left Vienna at the end of November, after a 
 stay of a month, and it was in Paris that the news of her 
 friend's death reached her. A few days afterwards it 
 was announced that the Empress of Austria was very ill 
 with neuralgia, and that physicians had been sent from 
 Vienna to Paris to attend her. During her illness I suf- 
 fered the most poignant anxiety. Few people could have 
 guessed that this sudden nervous attack of my mother's 
 was really the result of shock at the removal of her old 
 friend. 
 
 After she had to some extent recovered, she went to 
 Biarritz, where she remained in the utmost seclusion until
 
 162 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 the middle of January. From Biarritz she went to Men- 
 tone as usual. She was accompanied by the Countess 
 Szaray, General von Berceviczy, and her new secretary, 
 Merkati. 
 
 This winter yet another new world opened to me of 
 which I had no idea till then. I fell in love — rather 
 prematurely, I fear, for I was only a girl of fifteen. It 
 was a naive little episode, but the ending was unfortunate. 
 
 Laura Kaiser had a few girl-friends, for of course she 
 had not been kept in as strictly as I. Up to this time, 
 after leaving Fraulein von Gunesch's school, I had visited 
 nobody except Elsa von Thyr, with whom I still remained 
 great friends. One of Laura's friends, however, I had 
 known slightly almost ever since I could remember. We 
 had played together several times as small children in the 
 iVolkgarten. Her name was Clarisse Mayer. Her par- 
 ents were very wealthy and kept house in great style. 
 Her mother was a handsome woman, very fashionable 
 and fond of society. Clarisse herself had not been a 
 pretty child, and for this reason her mother treated her 
 rather badly, with the result that she was more than a lit- 
 tle shy. I do not believe that I had ever exchanged more 
 than a dozen words with her while we were playing at ball 
 or bowling our hoops together. As Laura did not care 
 much for her I had few opportunities of seeing her. But 
 now that we were nearly grown up, the season of parties 
 arrived for us, since it is customary to give these in Vien- 
 nese high circles to teach girls how to behave in society. 
 The Mayers' house, in spite of the mother having no wish 
 to play the chaperone too early, promised, in this respect, 
 to be one of the most amusing, and this was sufficient 
 reason for Laura to cultivate Clarisse more closely now. 
 Of course these people believed that I was Laura's sister.
 
 MY " MILITARY YEAR " 163 
 
 I usually spent Sundays at the home of my guardian. 
 One Sunday, however, Mrs. Kaiser said to me, " You are 
 invited to a girls' party at Clarisse's house this afternoon." 
 
 As Frau von Friese was spending the day with friends, 
 I could not go to ask her permission. 
 
 " Do you think that Frau von Friese will have anything 
 to say against my going? " I asked. 
 
 " Oh, what a fuss you always make ! " Mrs. Kaiser re- 
 plied. " I have accepted for you already. I would not 
 have done so ; but, if you are not too good to mix with such 
 a mob as you have in your school now, j'^ou surely can go 
 to Clarisse Mayer's. Anyhow, I will take the responsi- 
 bihty upon myself." 
 
 I was not altogether convinced. In my heart I felt 
 that there was a great difference between a school and a 
 strange house. On the other hand, my scruples appeared 
 ridiculous; for what danger could be there? And, be- 
 sides, I had been to so few entertainments that I had an 
 inclination to go on that account. 
 
 In addition to Laura there were some cousins of 
 Clarisse's and a few other girls, all of the same style — 
 that is to say, all very prim and proper under the eye of 
 Clarisse's governess, of course. We played games until 
 tea-time, and then we all sat around a big table in the 
 dining-room, where tea was served. In the middle of 
 our meal Clarisse's mother entered the dining-room, ac- 
 companied by an exceedingly good-looking woman, and 
 behind them a young man of about twenty-five years of 
 age. This was the first time in my life that a young man 
 had ever been introduced to me! He was very tall and 
 handsome, but not what is called a beau. There was a 
 gaiety and brightness about him, especially in his brown 
 eyes, in which there was always a glimpse of laughter.
 
 164 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 His features were regular, and his hair brown and wavy. 
 But the most pleasant thing about him was that he him- 
 self was obviously quite indifferent as to what impression 
 he was making. In short, he was one of those few peo- 
 ple who win their way at first sight by the frankness and 
 simplicity of their demeanour. 
 
 There were about twelve girls in the room. He seemed 
 rather amused at being the only man in this society of 
 half -grown girls. I have never been one of those who 
 believe that a girl must fall in love with the first man she 
 meets ; and I should not be telling the truth if I pretended 
 that he made any serious impression on me that day. 
 After tea I talked awhile to him. The girls played the 
 piano and danced, and I had a few turns with him. I 
 learnt that his name was Ferdinand Fellner, and that he 
 was the son of a famous architect. 
 
 Upon my return home I told Frau von Friese every- 
 thing that had happened. She was not very pleased at 
 my going to the Mayers'. But, being a very tactful 
 woman, she did not outwardly express her disapproval; 
 and, as I did not say very much about the young man, she 
 did not worry. 
 
 A few days after this I went to my guardians', accom- 
 panied by somebody — I do not remember whom. I had 
 just walked through the hall to the staircase, when sud- 
 denly I heard someone a few steps higher up than myself 
 saying: " How do you do, Fraulein? I have taken the 
 liberty of calling on your parents. I was very sorry not 
 to have met you." 
 
 I can only say that I behaved very awkwardly. I stam- 
 mered something in my confusion, but it was so unintelli- 
 gible that the young man did not know what to answer and 
 merely bade me good-bye.
 
 MY " MILITARY YEAR " 165 
 
 Upon my return home I spoke to Frau von Friese of 
 this incident also. I discussed it so freely that she was 
 not much impressed ; or perhaps she acted upon the prin- 
 ciple of not paying too much attention to it so as to avoid 
 arousing my interest. 
 
 Several weeks after this there was a dance given by 
 Elsa's mother. At first I was refused permission to go. 
 I felt hurt, but did not dare to complain. Elsa, however, 
 begged and begged, and I joined her so far as to ask Mrs. 
 Kaiser to intercede for me with Frau von Friese. I had 
 been so submissive at the sewing-school, and had behaved 
 so irreproachably, that Frau von Friese thought fit to re- 
 ward me by allowing me to go. Without my knowledge 
 she had already written to my mother, asking her per- 
 mission. Mother left the decision entirely to Frau von 
 Friese. And so I was told that I might go. 
 
 In the evening, when I arrived at Mrs. Kaiser's to go on 
 with her to the dance, she laughingly remarked that she 
 had had an invitation sent to Mr. Fellner to please me. 
 I turned pale and then blushed, but at that time I was 
 totally unconscious that I was in love. 
 
 This was my first real dance, although I had studied 
 dancing since I was six and was quite good at it. On my 
 entrance into the ball-room I stood stiffly in front of the 
 row of chaperones, who all sat against the wall. Of 
 course, I was dressed in white — white silk, trimmed with 
 white chiffon. On my shoulder was pinned a large pink 
 rose. My long fair hair was plaited and done in a coronet 
 round my head, just like mother's. I could not help feel- 
 ing rather pleased with my appearance. The first person 
 introduced to me was the brother of one of Elsa's friends. 
 He looked at my programme and seemed surprised to find 
 it quite empty. He asked me for the Polonaise. Gradu-
 
 166 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 ally my card filled up, but I was unceasingly watching the 
 entrance to the ballroom. The Polonaise began, and my 
 partner came to fetch me. When he again took up my 
 programme to write his name I had only a few dances 
 vacant. 
 
 " The supper quadrille is no longer free," I suddenly 
 exclaimed, in a tone full of anguish. 
 
 No sooner were the words uttered than I regretted them, 
 and I blushed with shame. But my daring was rewarded 
 at once, for immediately after I saw before me two spark- 
 ling brown eyes in a laughing face. Something seemed 
 to be choking me. Then I heard someone say: " Good 
 evening, Fraulein; I am so sorry I am late. Have you 
 reserved a dance for me? " 
 
 " The supper quadrille," I replied precipitately. 
 
 " But that is really very charming of you — to show 
 such consideration for me! " 
 
 My naivete probably amused him very much, but I did 
 not notice it, poor little innocent that I was, setting out 
 upon the sea of love with all sails spread. I was happy, 
 gloriously happy, as I had never been before in my life. 
 Does one really know anything about happiness until one 
 falls in love ? 
 
 I would have preferred not to dance any more, all the 
 others were so tiresome to me ; but of course that could not 
 be. To my first partner, who had also put himself down 
 for the fourth quadrille, I was very rude, for when he 
 came to fetch me I am sorry to say I made a grimace. 
 
 One little incident which occurred this evening is worthy 
 of record. An old general (whose name, unfortunately, 
 I never knew, since at the time I was not sufficiently in- 
 terested to ask it) came up to me and said: "Do you 
 know, my dear young lady, I have sat here for ever so
 
 MY " MILITARY YEAR " 167 
 
 long studying you. I really cannot overcome my amaze- 
 ment." 
 
 I was so happy at the moment that I could have laughed 
 in the old gentleman's face. Still I asked him at what 
 he was so amazed. 
 
 " Did no one ever tell you that you resemble Her 
 Majesty the Empress?" he replied. "Such a striking 
 resemblance! " 
 
 In spite of my gaiety I was embarrassed, and remained 
 silent. He noticed my embarrassment and went on: 
 " Well, does not what I say please you? You know, she 
 has been one of the most famous beauties. It is not so 
 much your features — and you are fairer. But there is 
 something about the mouth, the shape of your head, your 
 forehead. And it is not altogether that, either. It is 
 the poise of your head, the back of your neck, your move- 
 ments, which remind me of her." 
 
 But now I had quite recovered my self-possession, and 
 I asked, " Did you know her well? " 
 
 " Oh, in earlier years, when the Empress was young, 
 I had many opportunities of seeing her. And I had also 
 the great honour of being presented to her. You remind 
 me so much of her in her youth." 
 
 I did not know how to answer this, so I only smiled. 
 Thereby I inadvertently discovered the right way to amaze 
 the old general still more. 
 
 " Good heavens! " he exclaimed. " The smile, too! I 
 think I must be going mad." And without waiting to 
 say anything more, he went away, shaking his head like 
 one who has seen some marvellous apparition.
 
 CHAPTER XVI 
 
 PLANS FOR MY FUTURE 
 
 "Now followed days of great happiness for me. I thought 
 of nothing any more except Ferdinand Fellner. At 
 school, during my lessons at home, on my walks, in fact 
 every hour of the day, he was in my thoughts. I would 
 have liked to have told everybody — and yet not for the 
 world would I have mentioned it to anyone ! I was rather 
 ashamed of my love. Much as I thought of him, however, 
 I saw him very little. There was nowhere that I could 
 go to see him. I did not visit anywhere. Once or twice 
 I met him on Mrs. Kaiser's reception-days, just enough 
 to keep the passion smouldering. But really I did not 
 confess all this to myself at the time, especially as he did 
 not seem to pay any more attention to me than to any other 
 of the girls. I was too proud to admit the truth. As the 
 weeks passed by I thought myself cured, and told myself 
 that it had all been imagination, that this was not a case 
 of real love. 
 
 All this time, mother was on the Riviera, so I had no 
 opportunity to speak to her about it. Almost at the end 
 of March I went with Frau von Friese to Territet, in 
 Switzerland. Mother had written to Frau von Friese 
 the following letter: — 
 
 " I simply cannot endure it any longer. It will soon 
 be four months since I last saw her. It is more than I 
 can bear. I cannot spend this spring in Vienna, as my 
 
 168
 
 PLANS FOR MY FUTURE 169 
 
 health makes it necessary for me to go to some watering- 
 place. So I should have to wait an eternity to see her. 
 But, since she is now such a big girl, the interruption in 
 her studies will not harm her a great deal. To get away 
 from that dreadful school for a while will be a grea^ relief 
 to her." 
 
 So once again I passed a whole month with mother. 
 We lived in the same hotel, and every morning from seven 
 to half-past eight we walked out together. The first 
 thing she did, of course, was to put me in the confessional. 
 For my part, I told her at once all my experiences, but 
 so as not to alarm her I added that my whole love-story 
 had only been an affair of the imagination; because, had 
 it been a case of true love, I should not have recovered 
 from it so quickly. 
 
 " Weiberl," said my mother, " I trust that you are too 
 reasonable to deceive yourself as well as me, and that it 
 was really only a passing fancy." 
 
 Her words were accompanied by an anxious, sorrowful 
 look. It was far from my desire, however, to give a 
 serious turn to this affair, and so I merely laughed to put 
 her at her ease. 
 
 Mother's illness now seemed to weary her more than 
 ever. She was tortured with sciatica. For hours and 
 hours she would lie awake at night. But she was always 
 patient as an angel and never complained. That silently 
 borne pain made such an impression upon me that I can 
 never forget it, and even to this day I seem able to bear 
 any pain myself by remembering what my mother had to 
 undergo and her quiet fortitude through it all. 
 
 My many diversions drove my love-affair into the back- 
 ground for the time being. We made constant excur-
 
 170 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 sions into that beautiful country, and the scenery alone 
 was enough to make one happy. And mother was still 
 really the only person for whom I lived. When I examine 
 my feelings to-day, I can truthfully assert that in the 
 affair with Ferdinand Fellner I did not deceive her or 
 myself. To be all alone with her, day after day, made 
 me happy beyond a wish. At that time I would have 
 given him up without even a sigh, my only idea day and 
 night being mother. She, on her side, spoiled me now as 
 never before. Upon every possible occasion she showered 
 presents on me in a way which she had not hitherto. Up 
 to this time I had not been very much spoilt in this respect. 
 Mother did not want to make me too vain. I always re- 
 ceived beautiful Christmas and name-day presents; but 
 until this year, 1897, she never had given me anything on 
 other occasions. Now she bought me all sorts of beautiful 
 things, by which she thought to give me special pleasure. 
 
 Nor had I ever yet had any money of my own, even 
 though sometimes, as mother held in her hand her purse — 
 that oblong leather purse that she always carried — I 
 might look longingly at it. On such occasions, when my 
 desire became too evident she would say to me: " What 
 are you looking so intently at my purse for, you greedy 
 little girl? You should be quite happy that you have 
 nothing to do with money." 
 
 To which I might perhaps reply : " Oh, mamma, it 
 must be lovely to buy something by your own self! " 
 
 Once, when my longing for a purse of my own was more 
 than usually keen, she asked me, I remember: "What 
 do you want to buy? If you wish for anything you have 
 only to speak to Frau von Friese, and if it is anything 
 reasonable you will get it." 
 
 I was not able to buy even a bunch of violets, I com-
 
 PLANS FOR MY FUTURE 171 
 
 plained, if I should fancy it. By speaking of flowers, I 
 suppose, I thought I should soften her. 
 
 " Babe, don't be childish," she answered. " You have 
 plenty of flowers. If you want more, you have only to 
 speak to Frau von Friese, and the florist will send you all 
 that your heart can desire." 
 
 Yes, but sometimes in the street, I said, there might be 
 a flower-girl, or some poor boy selling spring flowers, 
 and I was unable even to buy a bunch from them. 
 
 Was I not always with someone who had money, some- 
 one who might give me enough credit to lend me a small 
 sum of money? " However," she continued, " if your 
 heart is really set upon this, I will give you so much." 
 With these words she opened her purse, and carefully, 
 with two fingers, fished out a ten-kreuzer piece (about 
 twopence-halfpenny, or five cents), which she handed to 
 me with an amused smile. 
 
 I do not think she was ever so liberal to anyone else ! I 
 have mentioned already this strange little trait in her 
 character, that with all her generosity of heart and charity 
 she hated to part with small sums. This time at Territet 
 was the first occasion on which she ever gave me a con- 
 siderable sum. She had promised to go with me on April 
 10th to a little farm, famous for its beautiful hand-made 
 embroidery, the work of the peasant-women. At the last 
 moment she was prevented, by the unexpected arrival of 
 Archduke Franz-Ferdinand, who, on his way to Montreux, 
 wished to pay her a call. She came early to tell me that 
 she could not go to the farm. I was both disappointed 
 and angry at the change in our plans, and was at no pains 
 to conceal my feelings. I do not think that mother was 
 much better pleased. 
 
 I should go with her there another time, she promised;
 
 172 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 but to make up for the disappointment now I might, if I 
 wished, go and spend the day with Frau von Friese at 
 Lausanne. And for once in my life, I might buy some- 
 thing that I liked, and pay for it myself. As she spoke, 
 she produced her familiar oblong purse, and took there- 
 from — to my surprise and delight — a twenty-franc gold 
 piece! With this, the first money I ever spent on my- 
 self in my life, I bought a manicure-set. 
 
 Every day of this visit to Territet we were together at 
 least in the mornings, when our walks were directed prin- 
 cipally through the sombre stretches of gigantic oaks 
 which surround the place. In the early morning the 
 forest exhaled a delightful fragrance, and the stillness and 
 quiet of the glades seemed the natural consequence of the 
 fairy revels which must have been held in them the night 
 before. 
 
 "How beautiful is this forest! " exclaimed mother one 
 morning. " These giant trees, which may have stood here 
 for centuries, are a connecting link between the present 
 and the past. If they could talk, what strange stories 
 they might tell us of the Valkyries, and the warriors and 
 heroes of bygone days, who may have trod where we are 
 now treading." 
 
 The remark seemed not so much addressed to me as 
 the unconscious utterance of her private thoughts. Or 
 was she talking with her dead friend, the only real friend 
 she ever had, the only one to whom she would lay bare her 
 soul without any reserve? 
 
 I had begun to realise what Ludwig of Bavaria had 
 meant to her. And I understood better still when she 
 began talking to me about him again on one of these 
 mornings at Territet. 
 
 " Weiberl," she said, " you cannot imagine what a
 
 PLANS rOK MY FUTURE 173 
 
 noble being he was — far too noble for this world. He 
 understood how to enjoy life as few people do. He 
 revelled in it with the prodigality of a genius." 
 
 I asked her if it was true, as people sometimes said, 
 that he had helped Richard Wagner in his operas. 
 
 No, never, she answered. Besides, Wagner had written 
 most of his works before Ludwig came to his assistance. 
 But still, perhaps, without him Wagner the musician 
 might never have become Wagner the great. Not only 
 was the merit of discovering Wagner's greatness Lud- 
 wig's, but Wagner himself admitted that near the King 
 he became a different person. Far more important than 
 the mere material aid given to him were the spiritual in- 
 spirations which Ludwig brought to him through his own 
 noble individuality, and the atmosphere with which he sur- 
 rounded him. The sublime masterpieces of Wagner were 
 all his own; but, if his music helped to rouse Ludwig's 
 poetical nature, Ludwig in his turn could accompany 
 Wagner to wonderful regions whither others could not 
 follow him. He admired him intensely, and it is this 
 admiration which genius requires to make it expand. 
 Ludwig arranged splendid feasts for him, with the sole 
 intention of giving inspiration to his muse. And he was 
 the most charming host imaginable — when he loved his 
 guests. 
 
 " Mother dear," I asked, " were you often his guest? " 
 
 Of course, particularly when she was at Feldafing, she 
 rephed. During the last years of his life, when he was 
 so overburdened with debts, he used to shut himself up to 
 avoid his ministers, who harassed him terribly. But she 
 and he always continued firm friends, and it made her 
 very happy that at the moment she came near him he 
 seemed to forget all his troubles. Their little luncheon-
 
 174 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 parties, tete a tete, would always remain among the pleas- 
 antest memories of her life. They generally took place 
 on Rose Island in the middle of the Lake of Starnberg. 
 Every dish and every flower on the table were of his selec- 
 tion. Nothing was too good for those for whom he cared. 
 He would have given his life for them. How cruel it was 
 that he should have to die ! 
 
 " He at least suffers no more," she concluded, " but we 
 two remain ... to mourn for him." 
 
 Many a time on our walks, after having spoken of him, 
 she would repeat, " He is no longer with us . . . but we 
 must mourn for him." 
 
 We left Territet on April 27th for Geneva; or, rather, 
 mother left on that day, and I followed her on the 28th, 
 as she had arranged to spend a day at the chateau of 
 Pregny, a few miles from Geneva. The Baroness 
 Adolphe Rothschild had given her an invitation to come 
 over to Pregny and see her hot-houses, which she now took 
 the opportunity of doing. 
 
 On the night of the 28th we stayed together at the Hotel 
 Beaurivage, Geneva. Here, as usual, I crept from my 
 bedroom to hers to spend the evening with her. But she 
 was so restless and nervous that it ended in my remaining 
 with her all night, and sleeping with her in her bed. It 
 was on this night that she first spoke to me of the measures 
 which she had taken to provide for my future. 
 
 " Thank God ! " she exclaimed, in accents of great weari- 
 ness, " these continual separations are soon coming to an 
 end. I am beginning to grow quite impatient, and I long 
 for the day when I can have you openly at my side." 
 
 My only answer was a sigh, and, seeing how sad I 
 looked, she went on to assure me that there was not very
 
 PLANS FOR MY FUTURE 175 
 
 long to wait now — only through the next winter. In the 
 meantime we must both of us be reasonable. My educa- 
 tion must receive the finishing touches, to fit me to resist 
 the temptations which awaited me. I had no idea yet of 
 the extent of the intrigues of Court Hfe. I must acquire 
 more self-control and stabiHty to live among these people 
 without falling a victim to their snares. Vienna was the 
 most difficult of all Courts. Men valued their friends only 
 for the profit to be derived from them, and sacrificed them 
 without a scruple when it seemed advantageous to their 
 own interests. It was a great mistake to suppose that 
 there were fewer crimes committed at Court nowadays than 
 in former times. The only difference was that to-day the 
 methods employed were more complicated, but none the 
 less scandalous for that. In the face of all this she trem- 
 bled for me. She wanted to protect me. But she never 
 had any talent for intrigues. She was powerless even to 
 meet those directed against herself. She had always been 
 too confiding, and it was still impossible for her to believe 
 anyone capable of treachery without indisputable proof. 
 That was the real reason for her reserve towards everyone. 
 She had always to be on her guard against falling into a 
 trap. Happily they bothered little about her in their in- 
 trigues now. She was no longer interesting enough ! But 
 she suffered sufficiently in hearing how they sold and be- 
 trayed others. 
 
 *' How happy I shall be," I exclaimed, " when at last 
 I can be always at your side." 
 
 " Don't you think I also shall be glad, Weiberl? " she 
 answered. *' I shall find more rest then, and shall be better 
 able to remain in one place. We will pass our winters in 
 Corfu together. I love Corfu, though it always makes me 
 melancholy. It is too vast and magnificent for me. But
 
 176 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 with you there it will be quite different. How unspeak- 
 ably happy I should be with you there ! And how you will 
 love the spring, when everything there is in flower! " 
 
 Then she gave a great sigh and fell suddenly into melan- 
 choly again. 
 
 " Dearest, dearest mother," I hastily asked, " are you 
 not feeling well? " 
 
 *' Perfectly well, Weiberl," was her reply, " only these 
 things seem to me such castles in the air. I cannot think 
 that such happiness is for me. I cannot think that such 
 a thing as peace still awaits me on this planet. So many 
 years life has been a burden to me that now, when it has 
 regained its value, I cannot believe that all will come 
 right." 
 
 I was trembling all over, and vainly striving to hide my 
 anguish. I understood only too well what she meant but 
 avoided saying; she feared that, at the moment when Hfe 
 again meant something for her, death the inexorable would 
 carry her away. She looked pityingly on my distress, and 
 said: — 
 
 " Weiberl, don't be alarmed; I was foolish to speak like 
 that, but the thought that something like that might hap- 
 pen has weighed upon my heart for a long time past. Do 
 not allow my foolish fancies to worry you. After all, 
 everything has been foreseen and provided for. In case 
 of my sudden death before I am able to take you out of 
 your retirement, I have all the documents at Lainz, ex- 
 plaining everything concerning you. Amongst these 
 papers are directions written by my own hand concerning 
 your future. These also state openly why I did not wish 
 to rear you in the poisonous atmosphere of the Court — 
 you, my last-born child!"
 
 PLANS FOR MY FUTURE 177 
 
 At these words I burst into tears, and hid my sobbing 
 face on her breast. 
 
 " Weiberl, be reasonable," she said. " Why do you 
 cry? I am not dead yet, dear. But is it not wiser to take 
 precautions? " 
 
 She ceased, and a deadly quiet seemed to pervade the 
 room, which oppressed me by its silence. Her words 
 sounded like a farewell. And so, in a measure, they were ; 
 for sixteen months later in this same hotel, probably in this 
 very same bed, she passed away for ever.
 
 CHAPTER XVII 
 
 THE COURSE OF LOVE 
 
 On the day following that of the melancholy conversation 
 which I have just reported I left for Vienna. My mother 
 accompanied me to the railway station, but returned pur- 
 posely (for these precautions were still necessary) to spend 
 the day in an excursion with the Countess Senyey. Then 
 she came on to Vienna by special train at an early hour 
 in the morning. 
 
 She only remained in Vienna on this occasion for ten 
 days, during which period I saw much less of her than 
 usual. My sister Gisela had come over on a visit from 
 Munich, and mother's health was very poor. Her doctor, 
 indeed, advised that, instead of passing the spring as she 
 regularly did at Lainz, she should go to Kissingen for a 
 cure. 
 
 Short as was her stay in Vienna, during it she received 
 a very severe shock. My youngest aunt, Sophie- Char- 
 lotte, Duchess of Alen^on, was burnt to death in the ter- 
 rible fire of the Bazar de la Charite in the Rue Jean 
 Gougeon, Paris. On May 5th mother came to me in the 
 morning to say that she had had very bad news, a telegram 
 announcing that Aunt Sophie was missing after the fire, 
 and that it was feared she had perished. 
 
 Of the girls in the Bavarian ducal family Sophie had 
 naturally been the pet. My mother's junior by ten years, 
 she was still a small child at the time of the Imperial wed- 
 ding, and mother continued always to look upon her as a 
 
 178
 
 THE COURSE OF LOVE 179 
 
 child — as elder sisters will. A certain estrangement had 
 been produced between them, I have already said, by the 
 rupture of Aunt Sophie's engagement in 1867. Various 
 legends are current about this rather strange affair. 
 When it was announced at the beginning of the year that 
 King Ludwig was engaged to his young cousin, the Ba- 
 varians as a people were well pleased. But at Court 
 the case was different. There was a great deal of jealousy 
 and intriguing against the Duke's daughter, especially on 
 the part of some of the King's immediate relatives. When 
 the postponement of the wedding — which was only a 
 diplomatic way of stating that it was not to come off at all 
 — was announced in September, the coimtry was upset, 
 while the Court rejoiced. 
 
 Aunt Sophie had not done anything very awful to pro- 
 voke the King to break off the engagement. She was, 
 however, rather too lighthearted and irresponsible for the 
 idealistic Ludwig. He interpreted her little mistakes as 
 evidence of a grave lack of tact, if nothing worse. And 
 the intriguers, of course, did their utmost to poison his 
 mind against her. He made no excuse to the Duke for 
 rejecting his daughter, and communicated his decision 
 very abruptly, simply stating that he would now never 
 marry. The Duke Maximilian was terribly offended. 
 He was a very ambitious man with regard to his daughters' 
 marriages, taking their happiness, apparently, very little 
 into account. My aunt Marie- Sophie, Queen of Naples, 
 never even saw her husband before her union with him, 
 and was married by proxy at the age of fifteen — to be 
 sadly disillusioned when she reached Naples, and found 
 what manner of man was King Francis. The Duchess 
 Ludovica was still more ambitious about her daughters 
 than the Duke. The whole family was very much upset
 
 180 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 at Sophie-Charlotte's misfortune, and very angry with 
 King Ludwig. But my mother's affection for Ludwig 
 was unaltered, and this was the cause of coldness between 
 her and the rest of the family, especially Aunt Sophie her- 
 self. Yet she continued to feel towards her a semi-ma- 
 ternal love, and her death aroused very painful associa- 
 tions. 
 
 The effect of the new shock was serious to mother's 
 health, although it is most cruel to pretend, as some do, 
 that at this time she was in the least degree out of her 
 mind. The truth is merely that she was overwhelmed with 
 grief, and could think of nothing else. She was so utterly 
 miserable and restless that she simply fled to Kissingen, 
 where she hoped to find a little peace. 
 
 Now Frau von Friese, too, had been ailing all the 
 winter ; and although she also was one of those rare persons 
 who never complain, I knew that she was not as usual. 
 Mother, who could so well read the people for whom she 
 cared, had several times during our stay in Territet re- 
 marked how ill Frau von Friese looked. Again and again 
 she pressed her to declare the nature of her illness, only to 
 be met by the assertion that it was nothing serious. My 
 governess grew more miserable daily, but after our return 
 from Territet, seeing what trouble mother had of her own, 
 she continued to conceal her condition from her as before. 
 She also concealed it from me for fear I should tell my 
 mother. Soon after mother had left Vienna, however, 
 she suddenly broke down from the strain she had under- 
 gone. To me this was perfectly unexpected; and even 
 now I had to guess at the state of affairs, for all details 
 were kept secret from me. I was told merely that Frau 
 von Friese was ill, not how serious her illness was. She
 
 THE COURSE OF LOVE 181 
 
 still went about every day, for lying down seemed to make 
 her worse ; so that I was buoyed up with a false hope about 
 her. My despair can be imagined, therefore, when one 
 morning, about a week after mother's departure, she said 
 to me: " My dear, I am going home to Denmark; I hope 
 it will do me good." 
 
 I threw myself on my knees beside the couch where she 
 sat, and clasped my arms around her neck, crj^ing, " Frau 
 von Friese, Frau von Friese, you are more ill than you care 
 to let me know." And I began to sob. I implored her 
 to tell me the worst. I would tell mother. But no, I said 
 again, I would not, for her sake; she had already all the 
 grief she could bear. Only let me know what was the 
 matter. 
 
 In spite of her pain, Frau von Friese could not forbear 
 a smile at my nervous anxiety. *' Darling, don't take it 
 so tragically," she said. " I hope to be much better after 
 my trip home. Promise me to be reasonable." She had 
 intended, she continued, to speak to my mother before she 
 went away. However, when she saw how trying the last 
 few weeks had been for her, she decided not to do so, but 
 to arrange everything herself. She would not be away 
 longer than a month. For this short time I would be 
 under the care of Mrs. Kaiser. She had written the pre- 
 vious day to my mother, telling her not to be alarmed and 
 asking her permission to take a short holiday. She had 
 begged forgiveness for not having informed her of her 
 condition before, since she had only concealed her illness to 
 avoid giving her any fresh trouble. She knew mother 
 would have worried about finding a suitable place for me 
 while she was away, only to come in the end to the same 
 decision as herself — that is, to leave me in the care of the
 
 182 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 Kaisers. Even if Mrs. Kaiser was not very reliable, there 
 was no one to whose care she would more wilHngly entrust 
 me than Mr. Kaiser. 
 
 Mother sent her answer by return of post. What could 
 she do but agree ? It was certainly very hard for her. In 
 her kindness of heart always unwilling to hurt anyone, she 
 did not complain ; but in the few lines enclosed for me, in 
 her letter to Frau von Friese, I could detect how miserably 
 unhappy she was. She wrote: — 
 
 My only Daeling, 
 
 Frau von Friese must leave you for a short time. 
 There is nothing to be done but to leave you at the 
 Kaisers'. Dearest, be careful of yourself, and beware of 
 all dangers which may surround you. 
 
 Your Mother. 
 
 My grief was profound, not merely because I was sepa- 
 rated from both mother and Frau von Friese, but still 
 more from the knowledge that the two persons whom I 
 loved most in the world were both at the same time ill and 
 unhappy, while I was unable to be of the slightest assist- 
 ance to either. 
 
 Although Mrs. Kaiser and Laura were both most kind 
 to me, and tried their best to cheer me up, the first few 
 days were almost unendurable. Still, it was May, and in 
 May Vienna put on all her beauty as no other capital in 
 the world could. Then its parks, with their splendid 
 drives, bordered by long avenues of stately chestnuts with 
 velvety turf and exquisite flower-beds about them, stood 
 forth in glory. Then the Prater became the rendezvous 
 of Viennese high society. Then the Freudenau, at the 
 time of the races, was a blaze of fashionable magnificence.
 
 THE COURSE OF LOVE 183 
 
 On every day there was a great stream of carriages along 
 the Hauptallee (the principal avenue of the Prater), in 
 which could be seen the equipages of all the old aristocratic 
 families, those proud names which made the Viennese 
 Court world-famous for its pride and exclusiveness — the 
 Liechtensteins, the Montenuovos, the Schwartzenbergs, 
 the Metternichs, the Fiirstenbergs, the Kinskys, the Har- 
 rachs, and a hundred other illustrious houses, whose fame 
 is inseparably interwoven with history. 
 
 At the beginning of the Hauptallee were the coffee gar- 
 dens and restaurants where the citizens resorted to spend 
 their leisure in social gossip, to the accompaniment of the 
 famous Viennese waltzes and the Austrian folk-songs 
 played by military bands. Here, under the stately trees 
 whose leaves whispered strange tales of past glories or 
 mournful defeats, the middle-class frequenters gathered to 
 enjoy their beer and cheese, or drink their coffee and eat 
 little Viennese rolls, in full view of the great avenue along 
 which the carriages of their more privileged fellow-citizens 
 passed. Often must some young girl, walking by her 
 mother's side, have sighed with envy as she saw her more 
 fortunate sisters driving by in splendour. 
 
 Far down the avenue, quite away from the other cafes 
 and standing aside from the Hauptallee, was the Krieau, 
 a sort of idyllic little farm planted in a great park. Here, 
 in spite of its simple appearance, you could get anything 
 just as at any other place. This was the exclusive resort, 
 patronised only by the most distinguished people in art, 
 literature, finance, politics, and society. It was here that 
 all the noble dames and cavahers came to sip their coffee, 
 their tea, or their chocolate, in aristocratic seclusion, and 
 to rest from their drives. For a couple of hours in the 
 afternoon empty carriages with impassive footmen and
 
 184 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 beautiful horses surrounded it. You would imagine your- 
 self at the entrance of a theatre rather than outside a 
 restaurant. As the habitues were all more or less known 
 to one another, the assembly was like a daily tea-party 
 given by the same hostess — a very different kind of place 
 from such a rendezvous as the Pre Catalan in Paris, for 
 instance, huge, full of strangers, and unfriendly, unless 
 you bring your own friends with you. Very few for- 
 eigners knew of the Krieau; but it was none the less one 
 of the most interesting and curious resorts in Vienna in 
 spring. Here you might see the city's haute voice in 
 intimate intercourse. Here wit and beauty reigned 
 supreme. Here, quite at their ease, and without the 
 stiffness inseparable from formal gatherings, they gaily 
 chatted of social events, political affairsi, or the latest 
 theatres. The fashionable costumes combined with the 
 gay badinage to produce an atmosphere of frivolity; and 
 the stranger surveying the scene would readily have be- 
 heved that the passage of time in Vienna brought to all 
 nothing but prosperity and pleasure. 
 
 And now it was spring, and of course the Krieau was 
 the one desirable resort for Laura and her mother. So 
 several times a week we drove down the Prater and had 
 tea there. This was done, perhaps, as much for my pleas- 
 ure as for theirs; and certainly, in spite of my worry, I 
 rather enjoyed the new world thus introduced to me. 
 
 On one of our very first visits to the Krieau, as we were 
 sitting with a few lady friends of Mrs. Kaiser's, I sud- 
 denly heard a voice behind me saying, *' Good afternoon, 
 ladies." 
 
 At the sound of the voice I was as though struck by 
 lightning. I felt myself grow cold and pale, and then 
 hot, as the furious blushes covered my face. A strange
 
 THE COURSE OF LOVE 185 
 
 kind of excitement came upon me. I knew, as will easily 
 have been guessed, that Ferdinand Fellner was there . . . 
 and it was spring. 
 
 After this we met nearly every day, although always 
 with Mrs. Kaiser and friends of hers. We never saw one 
 another alone nor for more than half an hour on any occa- 
 sion. Yet even this was sufficient to cause me to fall com- 
 pletely in love with him. It was very wrong of Mrs. 
 Kaiser to countenance these meetings, but her foolish good- 
 nature made it impossible for her to foresee the conse- 
 quences. And perhaps, too, she hoped to distract my 
 attention from my sorrows. From the day of our first 
 meeting I did, indeed, begin to grow more cheerful. To 
 my youthful imagination it seemed that it was the hand of 
 fate that had brought me once more under the care of 
 Mrs. Kaiser that we might meet again. Suddenly the 
 sombre hues of Hfe were changed. 
 
 There were other reasons, too, for the dispersal of my 
 gloom. Toward the end of May I received a letter from 
 mother. She wrote that her stay at Kissingen had bene- 
 fited her very much, and that she was about to leave for 
 Schwalbach, where she proposed remaining during the 
 month of June. Frau von Friese also wrote that, though 
 her health was not yet satisfactory^ the mere fact of being 
 once more in her native land, among her own people, made 
 her feel better, and she was very hopeful for the future. 
 Why then should I not be happy? And, despite my great 
 affection for Frau von Friese, I knew that were she to 
 return I should no longer be able to meet Ferdinand Fell- 
 ner. The flight of years had developed my independence 
 of character, and at a moment like this my heart cried out 
 for freedom. With Frau von Friese at hand such a thing 
 would have been impossible. Under her strict discipline.
 
 186 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 what a sad figure I should have cut, had I even dared to 
 hint that I was in love ! She would probably have resorted 
 to extreme measures — and doubtless she would have been 
 right. But nevertheless my love was rather that of the 
 child than of the woman. It was not even platonic. If 
 I must analyse my feelings, I should say that I was in 
 love with the physical beauty of Ferdinand Fellner, for 
 his mental qualities (it seems to me nowadays) were rather 
 mediocre. Yet there was never in my mind the slightest 
 thought of approaching nearer to him. A kiss was un- 
 thinkable. To place my hand in his would, in my inno- 
 cence, have brought no feelings of self-consciousness or 
 shame. There was nothing for which I can really blame 
 myself. 
 
 A great part of June passed, and found me still await- 
 ing Frau von Friese's return to join my mother at Ischl. 
 But toward the end of the month I received a letter from 
 mother, in which she told me that Frau von Friese was 
 about to undergo an operation, and consequently would 
 be unable to return for about six weeks. How desperate 
 should I have been at another time, and how calmly did 
 I now receive the news ! Yet I could not help feeling re- 
 gret when I read the following in mother's letter to me : 
 
 " All this is so imexpected, my poor child, that, being 
 at this distance, I am unable to make any different arrange- 
 ments for you. I know that Mr. and Mrs. Kaiser in- 
 tended to travel this summer, and I do not like to cause 
 them to change their plans for my sake, much as I should 
 have preferred to know that at any moment I wished for 
 news of you I should find you always in the same place, 
 instead of at some hotel without either me or Frau von 
 Friese at your side. For a moment I thought of sending
 
 THE COURSE OF LOVE 187 
 
 you to Ischl under Fraulein Hain's and Pirker's care ; but 
 this is impossible without Frau von Friese. Moreover, it 
 would cause deep offence to Mr. Kaiser, and as I cannot 
 afford to make any enemies, I suppose I must submit. I 
 ought to be accustomed to it by this time, but — c^est plus 
 fort que moil I know that it is silly, and that nothing 
 will happen. It is probably the state of my nerves which 
 causes everything to appear to me in so tragic a light. As 
 for you, my dear Baby, be reasonable, and do not be too 
 much grieved at all this. Such is fate, and we must bow 
 to the inevitable. Let us hope that Frau von Friese will 
 soon recover and that you will be able to join me shortly. 
 Towards the 15th of July I am going to Ischl. After a 
 short stay there I shall go to Karrersee in the Tyrol. 
 About a month later, after August 18th if nothing occurs 
 before then, I hope to be able to let you come. Oh, dar- 
 ling, I dare not think that I shall be unable to see you 
 for such an eternity." 
 
 This last sentence was like a cry of grief to me. I felt 
 so miserable; but what was I to do? She had written 
 " such is fate," and as for my fate, did I not think I knew 
 what that was to be? 
 
 For the time being I had to part from Ferdinand Fell- 
 ner, who promised to meet us again toward the end of 
 July, or early in August, at the little summer resort of 
 Veldes, in the Camic Alps. I am afraid my greatest 
 anxiety was lest Frau von Friese might recover too 
 quickly, and so spoil my well-laid plans. How selfish and 
 frivolous I had become ! 
 
 I enjoyed the journey greatly. For the first time in 
 my life I travelled like an ordinary tourist, halting at 
 various places on the way, and stopping at charming 
 hotels, where I was not obHged to remain in my own room.
 
 188 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 but had my meals like the others in the public dining- 
 rooms. Now at last could I thoroughly understand my 
 mother's passion for travelling, that passion which made 
 ignorant people call her mad. 
 
 We spent several weeks journeying through the prov- 
 ince of Salzburg, and a great part of the Tyrol. For- 
 tunately for my plans, Frau von Friese recovered slowly, 
 and wrote that she would be unable to travel before Au- 
 gust, so that I could look forward with pleased expectancy 
 to our little sojourn at Veldes. 
 
 We arrived there in the last days of July. Veldes is a 
 pretty little place on the shores of an emerald-green lake, 
 and is surrounded by majestic peaks, covered by the ever- 
 lasting snow. There are — or were then — only a few 
 villas; but there was the cosiest little hotel imaginable. 
 On the day of our arrival we made the acquaintance of 
 all the other guests in the place, so that it can readily be 
 understood that their number must have been limited. 
 There were just enough to make it interesting; about forty 
 or fifty in all. But if the company was small, it was all 
 the more select. There was not a single uncongenial per- 
 son in the httle circle, not one whose presence was un- 
 desirable. It was the height of the season, and so there 
 were every day picnics and excursions, as well as dancing, 
 bathing, and tennis — at that time fully established in 
 fashionable society. 
 
 A few days after our arrival Ferdinand Fellner joined 
 us. His stay was limited to three days, for he had to join 
 his regiment at Agram to serve his requisite four weeks. 
 Short as was the time, we had more opportunity here than 
 in Vienna for untrammelled conversation. Yet the charm 
 of the situation lay rather in the growth of our mutual 
 feelings than in anything that was said between us. I
 
 THE COURSE OF LOVE 189 
 
 really wonder sometimes to-day why I found this yomig 
 man so fascinating. From my childhood I had been 
 serious and meditative, while he did not seem anxious to 
 utter two reasonable words consecutively. It must have 
 been the contrast between us which attracted me. His 
 exuberant cheerfulness and his gay lightheartedness, so 
 typically Viennese, were a revelation to me. He touched 
 a new chord in my hf e, one which my education had never 
 touched, but had left undiscovered. I had never noticed 
 before that my life had been so terribly strict, not to say 
 austere. Indeed, I did not realise it even then. I only 
 felt extremely happy. During these three days we were 
 constantly together, always in the company of others, yet 
 always alone. Three days together in the country brings 
 people nearer than three years in the city. Onlookers 
 might have thought that we spoke of nothing but love, 
 whereas, as a matter of fact, not one word of love passed 
 our lips. But I was so innocently stupid that I never 
 for a moment imagined things could have been different. 
 I knew that I was in love — and that was all I knew about 
 love. 
 
 On the last evening of his stay at Veldes there was a 
 little dance. The heat of the evening caused many of the 
 guests to seek the fresh air outside. Feeling rather tired, 
 I looked for rest and seclusion farther down the terrace, 
 where it jutted out into the lake. I was all alone there. 
 Behind me was the ghttering hotel, from which came 
 snatches of laughter and strains of music softened by the 
 distance ; before me lay the darkness of the lake. Above, 
 the myriads of stars looked down in soft radiance on the 
 world, and all around the gentle breeze played, enveloping 
 me in its cool freshness. The deep hush of the outer night 
 was broken only by the croak of the frogs in the adjacent
 
 190 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 meadows or the quick splash of a leaping fish as it fell 
 back upon the surface of the lake. Suddenly a shooting 
 star flashed along the blackness of the sky. I bethought 
 myself of the superstition that a wish made before it faded 
 out of sight would be fulfilled; but before I could settle 
 what the wish should be the glittering meteor had disap- 
 peared into the darkness. Was I then so " wunschlos 
 gliicklich," as we say in Germany, so " wishlessly happy "? 
 Perhaps. 
 
 Into the dreamy peace of my introspection there broke 
 the sound of a quick, light step, drawing nearer, and then 
 I heard Ferdinand Fellner's voice saying : — 
 
 " I have been looking everywhere for you, and now at 
 last I find you in this solitary corner! What are you 
 doing here? Has mamma been scolding you so that you 
 have come here to get over it; or are you admiring the 
 moon and the stars? " 
 
 " Nothing of the kind," I answered laughingly, " only 
 sometimes I have the feeling that I cannot breathe among 
 all those people, that they are keeping all the air from me, 
 and then I run away." 
 
 Out on the lake some one was playing on the horn 
 " When the moon shines bright." Oh, the memories of my 
 childhood, the happy times long gone by! It was as 
 though mother were sending me a signal through this 
 song, which she had so often sung to me when I was a 
 little child. 
 
 All of a sudden I started. A slight breath touched my 
 hand, which was resting on the arm of the basket chair in 
 which I was sitting. Quickly I withdrew my hand. I 
 felt myself changing colour, but I could not speak. I had 
 a sensation of choking, and my eyes were filled with tears. 
 I touched the back of my hand as if it had been wounded.
 
 THE COURSE OF LOVE 191 
 
 In the darkness all this was invisible to Ferdinand Fellner. 
 At my silence he burst into laughter. Then he clasped 
 me to him and pressed ardent kisses on my lips. Vio- 
 lently I tore myself from him and fled. 
 
 For half the night I could not sleep. I was too excited. 
 I did not know whether to laugh or to cry over what had 
 happened ; but after a time I felt very happy. Now I was 
 sure that he loved me. At this idea every fibre of my 
 being quivered with joy, and my cheeks were burning. 
 
 However, my happiness was troubled. I felt as though 
 his kiss were visible, like a scar upon my lips. The next 
 morning I did not dare at first look Laura or her mother 
 in the face. 
 
 Unfortunately, Fellner was leaving the same morning, 
 and I had no further occasion to speak with him alone. 
 He breakfasted with us, was as gay as usual, and behaved 
 as if nothing extraordinary had happened. Then he left, 
 and I was alone with my reflections. One minute I would 
 say to myself that there was nothing in such a kiss, that it 
 was only my ignorance which made me think it seriously 
 meant. The next I remembered that he had pressed my 
 hand at parting, and had said, " Take care of yourself, 
 and be good." He had said the same thing in Vienna 
 when we separated, but that was before the kiss. For 
 more than a week I wearied myself out with my thoughts, 
 and things remained unchanged, save that the passing days 
 served to increase my infatuation as well as my longing to 
 see him and ask him what he had meant. 
 
 While I was thus troubled, Mr. Kaiser announced one 
 day at lunch that he had had news from Frau von Friese, 
 who was returning from Denmark. I was to meet her at 
 Villach on August 14th, and to go on with her to Karrer- 
 see, where we were to join my mother. He informed me
 
 192 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 also that they were returning to the neighbourhood of 
 Vienna, to stay near the Semmering. 
 
 This news was not unexpected to me, but in spite of 
 that, on hearing it, I blushed, choked, and was speechless 
 for a moment. I recovered myself as quickly as possible, 
 pretending that it was my joy which had momentarily 
 robbed me of my voice. After the first shock my pleasure 
 was indeed unfeigned, and as soon as I had had time to 
 realise the situation I was even glad of the opportunity to 
 tell mother everything. But it was not only joy that I 
 felt. I reproached myself for not having thought of her 
 at first, and suddenly felt how I had neglected her in not 
 before asking her advice. And yet at this my heart sank. 
 Could I not guess what would be her advice? How blind 
 I had been! Who was this young man, and who was 
 I? My only answer to these questions was a despairing 
 sob. 
 
 On August 15th I arrived at Karrersee, where mother 
 had already been a few days. She had left Ischl a week 
 earlier than usual on account of the disastrous floods pro- 
 duced by the unceasing rain, which had rendered further 
 stay there inadvisable for her health. Had it not been for 
 this, according to her usual custom, she would have re- 
 mained at Ischl over the 18th, so as to be with the Em- 
 peror on that day, which is his birthday. 
 
 My poor mother had by this time so learned to read my 
 face that she immediately noticed something unusual about 
 me. In the very first minute of our meeting she fastened 
 a long look upon me, a look which caused me to turn my 
 eyes downwards in shame. 
 
 I had arrived in the afternoon, so that mother had just 
 time to slip into my apartments for a few minutes, to 
 greet Frau von Friese and to hold me in her arms. She
 
 THE COURSE OF LOVE 198 
 
 had no opportunity to talk much. It was therefore ar- 
 ranged that I should come to her room at ten o'clock, so 
 as to make sure that she should have retired and that no 
 one would disturb us. 
 
 Having travelled for nearly two whole days, of which 
 the hours between Meran and Karrersee were spent in an 
 old country carriage, which had shaken me considerably, I 
 was very tired. I therefore lay down immediately after 
 dinner, requesting Mina to wake me at half -past nine in 
 case I should have fallen asleep. But, tired though I was, 
 I could not sleep. I had noticed mother's searching 
 glance, and knew that my confession could not be post- 
 poned to another day — knew, indeed, that she would ask 
 for it at the very first. So I lay on my bed, shiver- 
 ing with cold one minute, and in a burning fever the 
 next. What would she say? Would she be angry? 
 Poor darling mother ! I knew she would not be that ; but 
 she would be grieved, and that was worse. I looked at 
 my httle watch. Time was going so slowly. Or was it 
 flying swiftly, oh, so swiftly? There was still half an hour 
 more to be spent — an age before I could unburden my 
 heart — a breath before I must/ 
 
 The door of my room opened slowly and cautiously. I 
 struck a light, thinking it was Mina. I almost fell 
 back upon the pillows. It was mother, her face deeply 
 serious — or, it would be more true to say, exceedingly 
 mournful. 
 
 I sprang from the bed and went toward her, taking hold 
 of her hand and pressing it to my lips. She did not speak. 
 She took my hand in hers and went slowly towards an arm- 
 chair, where she sat down. I followed mechanically and 
 seated myself at her feet. 
 
 My heart was beating so loud that she must have heard
 
 194 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 it. So much did I tremble that she was obliged to put 
 her arms around my shoulders to support me, and then, 
 in her sweet angehc voice, she asked me what had hap- 
 pened. 
 
 I scarcely knew what I was saying. I tried to stammer 
 out a few words, to the effect that I could not help it, but 
 that I was very ashamed of myself; and then I hid my 
 face in her lap. But she lifted my head firmly, and com- 
 pelled me to look her in the eyes. Resistance was useless, 
 I knew, and I made no struggle. She commanded me to 
 speak freely, to keep no secret from her. In a softer tone 
 again she told me not to suppose she was cross, but only 
 to remember how in the past I had told her everything and 
 trusted entirely in her. 
 
 The confessional, however, was hard now as it had never 
 been before. She had to put questions to me before I 
 could proceed. Slowly and painfully she drew from me 
 at length the whole story. When I had finished she looked 
 at me in an agony of apprehension. Was I sure that I 
 loved the man? she asked. " I suppose so," I brokenly 
 replied ; whereat, for the first time, she could not repress a 
 smile. Why did I only suppose? she asked. Because 
 sometimes I wished I had never met him, I explained, and 
 yet when I did meet him my heart seemed to stand 
 still. . . . 
 
 The sadness came back into her face when she reminded 
 me that I had told her nothing at all about the matter when 
 we were at Territet together. I was in torture when she 
 said this, and tried desperately to prove to her that I did 
 not then acknowledge the truth to myself, and so deceived 
 not only her but myself also. I begged her to beheve 
 that, now I saw all, I recognized the folly of my dreams, 
 and knew that I had been thinking of impossibilities. I
 
 THE COURSE OF LOVE 195 
 
 was much too young to choose for myself. It was for her 
 to choose, not me. 
 
 This was my last effort, and after it I lost all control 
 over myself and burst into bitter sobs. I knew that it 
 would have been a terrible blow to mother if I had told 
 her that I still wished to marry this young man. Ferdi- 
 nand Fellner was not for me. I had said good-bye to my 
 first dream of love. How difficult it would really be to 
 forget I did not then understand ; but it seemed bad enough 
 even at the time. I realised that I had practically taken 
 a vow to put him out of my heart — for her sake. 
 
 Mother lavished affection and consolation upon me. 
 She knew how hard the task was, she said, but I must be 
 strong and trust her, as I had always done before. Then 
 she got up from her chair, and, looking into my eyes, she 
 continued gravely : — 
 
 " Once, when you were quite young, do you remember, 
 dear, you asked me to lead you ? The way is full of thorns 
 and renunciations. But now you are on this path, and 
 there is no turning back. You asked me, too, to give you 
 the spurs if sometimes you refused to continue along the 
 hard road." Suddenly her voice choked with emotion, and 
 she breathed, rather than spoke, her last words: "And 
 to-night I had to give them." 
 
 I hid my face on her shoulder, and wept silently. 
 
 " Go to bed now," she whispered. " Try to sleep and 
 not to think, and only remember you are with mother." 
 
 And with that she said good-night, and left me.
 
 CHAPTER XVIII 
 
 A TYROLESE HOLIDAY 
 
 In spite of my mother's command and my own good in- 
 tentions, I remained awake many hours, sobbing as if my 
 heart would break. Only when the morning twilight first 
 began to steal through the windows did I find a troubled 
 sleep. But not in vain had I for years been disciplined in 
 self-control. For her dear sake alone I did not wish to 
 betray my grief, and so I soon managed to appear bright 
 and cheerful. If mother suspected possibly that in the 
 depth of my heart it was otherwise, she was too wise to 
 open the old wounds by talking much about them. She 
 hoped that my youth would soon enable me to banish even 
 the memories of this experience. 
 
 I remained at Karrersee with my mother nearly a month. 
 As the place was so small, consisting in fact of little save 
 the hotel, we were compelled to rise early to enjoy our 
 daily morning walks without attracting attention. And 
 this was necessary to avoid not merely the guests, but also 
 the Countess Sztaray and General von Berceviczy, who 
 accompanied her to Karrersee. They were very glad to 
 be able to enjoy the comfort of their beds in the early 
 morning hours. But the intimacy of the place made it less 
 easy for us to be together than mother had expected. It 
 is true that her suite knew of my presence indirectly. It 
 was more of a farce than ever. If I met any of her peo- 
 ple we each pretended not to know who the other was. 
 
 196
 
 A TYROLESE HOLIDAY 197 
 
 They usually tried to hide from me — to my great amuse- 
 ment. Etiquette being considerably relaxed, however, all 
 the suite, and especially the Countess Sztaray, could prac- 
 tically enter and leave mother's apartments unannounced. 
 This unusual informahty led to my being compelled to 
 secrete myself behind mother's bed one rainy afternoon to 
 avoid a chance encounter with the Countess, who entered 
 unexpectedly with an important message, or at least one 
 that she chose to consider important. It was, as a matter 
 of fact, only a letter from the Countess Harrach, her newly 
 appointed Mistress of the Household, who had written in 
 the name of the Emperor to ask if Her Majesty had de- 
 cided to be present on September 28th at the reception of 
 the King and Queen of Roumania in Budapest. Of 
 course, in Vienna it would have been imperative that this 
 should be communicated at once to the Empress ; but here, 
 at Karrersee, the case was quite different. 
 
 I do not know which at that moment was the more to 
 be pitied — mother, who almost lost her presence of mind, 
 and did lose her temper, or the Countess, who realised at 
 once that she had made a mistake. Mother scarcely gave 
 the Countess time to dehver her message before exclaim- 
 ing: " T^o, certainly not I Tell them not to annoy me 
 with their tiresome festivities, and to leave me in peace 
 during my holidays." With this she made an impatient 
 little movement of her hand, as though to brush away a 
 fly — and the Countess Sztaray was already outside the 
 door. 
 
 At this time mother was so ansemic that the doctors or- 
 dered her to take raw meat, especially the juice. Now 
 she loathed meat, and the sight of blood was abhorrent to 
 her. The juice, therefore, she usually poured away into 
 the flower-pots as she had no other means of disposing of
 
 198 THE SECRET OF AIST EMPRESS 
 
 it without those about her seeing what she was doing. She 
 dared not absolutely refuse to take it, lest the doctors 
 should force something worse upon her. As for the raw 
 meat, she would keep it hidden in paper until she could 
 carry it away and get rid of it. Sometimes, at my special 
 request, she ate some of it — loving me too well to refuse 
 me even this. She had little faith in physicians, and 
 trusted to Nature rather for help. She adhered to her 
 system of bodily training (prompted to a certain extent 
 by personal vanity, as I have said before), and this must 
 have increased her nervous malady and physical weak- 
 ness. 
 
 This summer, as already related, my mother broke 
 through her regular custom of spending the Emperor's 
 birthday, August 18th, with him at Ischl. The guests in 
 the hotel at Karrersee, as everywhere else in Austria, cele- 
 brated the day with a banquet, followed by a dance in the 
 evening. Mother and I both absented ourselves from 
 them and spent the greater part of the day together. On 
 the previous day, in honour of the occasion, the English 
 guests had presented an address to mother, through the 
 Rev. Mr. Bennett, who was staying at Karrersee. 
 
 As the summer of 1897 was rather rainy, our early 
 morning walks often constituted the only time of the day 
 spent out of doors. I had my own suite of rooms with 
 Frau von Friese and my maid. I took all my meals in my 
 room, so saw very little of the other guests, and they saw 
 equally little of me. After my barely averted encounter 
 with Countess Sztaray, mother preferred to come to my 
 rooms rather than that I should visit hers. Accordingly 
 she spent hours with me there, often taking her meals with 
 me. Everything was brought into the little ante-room, 
 and from there set before us by Mina. I have often won-
 
 A TYROLESE HOLIDAY 199 
 
 dered what the hotel servants thought of the hfe I led 
 while I was there. As Frau von Friese had not yet fully 
 recovered, and remained mostly on the balcony leading out 
 of her room, perhaps they thought it was on her account 
 that I lived such a secluded life. 
 
 Mother was very kind to Frau von Friese now, as ever, 
 and when we were together she was usually with us. In- 
 deed, they were on such terms of intimacy that all formal- 
 ity was entirely dispensed with. There was absolutely no 
 constraint in their intercourse, and Frau von Friese always 
 came or went as she felt disposed. 
 
 I had my own table service, as mother never Hked the 
 ordinary hotel ware. She did not object to drinking from 
 a poor peasant's cup at a Httle mountain farm, but she 
 always said there was nothing more unappetising than 
 hotel plates and dishes. And, in fact, in spite of all her 
 travelling, she used them as little as possible. 
 
 At table Mina's waiting was reduced to the minimum. 
 She served us once each, then placed the dishes in the centre 
 of the table and retired. After that we helped ourselves. 
 This was very different from our custom in Vienna, where 
 a certain state was kept up through the presence of Pirker 
 and Leopold, who would have been horrified at any breach 
 of etiquette. 
 
 Mother thoroughly enjoyed these little meals of ours at 
 Karrersee, and one day exclaimed : — 
 
 " Here at last I can enjoy a meal in comfort — nobody 
 to watch me all the time, and eat as I like ! Really, Frau 
 von Friese, we made a great mistake in not ordering the 
 same arrangements for your home in Vienna. But I sup- 
 pose Pirker never would have given his permission ! " 
 
 At these words Frau von Friese and I burst into laugh- 
 ter, for really poor Pirker was a terror to the entire house-
 
 200 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 hold witHout exception. Mother used to say sucH things 
 in a very humorous way, quite unhke anyone else. And 
 she always made her most amusing remarks with a per- 
 fectly serious face.
 
 CHAPTER XIX 
 
 A THUNDERBOLT 
 
 About the beginning of October I returned to Vienna, 
 after having spent over two weeks with the Kaisers at 
 Reichenau. Now that I was again away from mother, 
 life seemed wearier than ever. Moreover, my relations 
 with Frau von Friese were, for a time at least, somewhat 
 strained. I felt that she strongly disapproved of my love 
 affair, and was offended that I had not confessed all to 
 her before. She seemed disappointed in me, and made me 
 feel it. Besides, she had not recovered her usual good 
 health, and so had good reason for being low-spirited. 
 She who had formerly been so cheerful and talkative was 
 greatly changed. 
 
 She now ruled me with an iron strictness, and was very 
 stern with me at all times. She talked in a very abrupt 
 manner; and as for me, I scarcely dared to speak a word 
 to her unless asked to do so. My life became extremely 
 mechanical, every day the same — lessons, walks, meals, 
 and sleep. Not a moment's recreation was there; not a 
 single opportunity to do as I wished. For years past the 
 evening had been my time of recreation, when I read or 
 played the piano or did needlework. During the last year 
 I had been at least once a week to the opera, to a concert, 
 to some other place of amusement, or to Elsa's home. 
 This brought some slight variety into the monotony of 
 my life. But this autumn Frau von Friese gave me 
 
 201
 
 202 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 special lessons every evening from half-past seven to half- 
 past ten ; three consecutive hours of work after the lessons 
 of the day. " This will make us both tired and sleepy," 
 she said. " We need it, so as not to lie awake in bed." 
 
 I understood what she meant. But how harsh I found 
 this measure of hers! 
 
 In the mornings I went to a class to learn dressmaking, 
 this time with Laura, while in the afternoons I took lessons 
 in commercial subjects, such as book-keeping, shorthand, 
 etc. My going again to the sewing-class was a species of 
 penance decided upon by Frau von Friese after my return 
 from Karrersee. Mother was asked to agree to this by 
 letter. As she had always approved Frau von Friese's 
 dispositions concerning me, she did not deem it wise to 
 interfere now, so she wrote expressing her consent. Thus 
 my time was fully occupied from morning to night. 
 
 The sewing-school was a private one, belonging to a 
 Friiulein Fritzi Weigh The pupils were of a better class 
 than those of the previous year in the Frauenerwerbverein. 
 Although a few expected to have to make their living by 
 the knowledge acquired there, the great majority only 
 came to learn dressmaking, so that they might save the 
 expense of a dressmaker in after years. Nevertheless, 
 there was not a single girl there of Laura's social standing, 
 and once again I felt out of place. 
 
 The month of October passed slowly and monotonously. 
 On November 1st my mother returned from GodoUo, as 
 was her custom every year, for All Souls' Day, and my 
 Saint's Day, the 4th of the month. Now at least I was 
 happier again. 
 
 About this time, also, we had a little change in our 
 sewing-class, which made it pleasanter for Laura and for 
 me. This was caused by the entrance into the class of
 
 A THUNDERBOLT 203 
 
 three young girls who were more our equals, the Baroness 
 Marianne Devez, Hanna Taschermann, and Bertha 
 Habrda. Fraulein Weigl's pupils sat at tables with room 
 for about six at each. 
 
 Until this time Laura and I had sat alone, but now these 
 three new girls were placed at our table. Neither of us 
 was personally acquainted with them before this, though 
 Laura knew them all by name and sight. The day after 
 their arrival — it was, as a matter of fact, St. Charles's 
 Day — in great delight I told mother about our new 
 school companions. No sooner had I pronounced the 
 name of Bertha Habrda, however, than I was stunned by 
 mother's outcry. " Habrda? " she all but shrieked. 
 
 Then catching hold of my two arms and bending her 
 terrified face towards mine, she cried again, in a voice ab- 
 solutely hoarse with emotion: " Habrda? Did you say 
 Habrda? Are you sure? " 
 
 I was so frightened that I could not answer. My 
 mother did not seem to expect it, for she continued: " Do 
 you know what her father is? What is his position? " 
 
 " I only know he is Hofrath [Privy Councillor] 
 Habrda," I stammered. 
 
 I had never seen mother so much excited in my life. She 
 kept on clenching and unclenching her fists, in impotent 
 anger, exclaiming again and again : " Oh ! the scoundrels, 
 the scoundrels ! " 
 
 I caressed and kissed her hands in an endeavour to soothe 
 her. But it was of little avail, for she went on in the same 
 harsh, strained tones : " Tell Frau von Friese to come at 
 once to your room." 
 
 I got up immediately and fetched my governess. When 
 we came back mother had to some extent regained her 
 usual composure.
 
 204 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 " Frau von Friese," she said, " I wish Lintchi to leave 
 that sewing-school at once." 
 
 " As it pleases your Majesty," Frau von Friese replied. 
 " But may I ask why? " 
 
 I was afraid mother would lose her temper again; but 
 she only turned first very red, and then very pale as she 
 said: "Do you know the name of Habrda, Frau von 
 Friese?" 
 
 " No, your Majesty, I never heard the name before 
 Lily mentioned it," was the quiet answer. 
 
 " Perhaps it will suffice if I tell you that the last police 
 superintendent in charge of the personal safety of the 
 Crown Prince was Johann Habrda — and his daughter is 
 at the same school as mine!" (Here Frau von Friese 
 gave a little cry of astonishment.) "Now j^ou know 
 why I do not wish my girl to remain any longer at this 
 school." 
 
 Frau von Friese stood in silent thought for a moment 
 and then asked: " Does your Majesty really believe then 
 that there is some hidden motive for placing these young 
 girls near Lily? " 
 
 " You are too optimistic, Frau von Friese. I am sure 
 of it," answered my mother, with deep feeling. 
 
 " I ask your Majesty's permission," calmly continued 
 Frau von Friese, " to do a little reasoning. In the first 
 place, is it probable that Hofrath Habrda would use his 
 own sixteen-year-old daughter as a spy? This is abso- 
 lutely unlikely. That being so, what can he expect to get 
 through her being there? " 
 
 " He will use his daughter, without her knowing it, 
 simply as a detective, so as by this to find out facts about 
 my child." 
 
 " No, your Majesty," was the reply. " Had he desired
 
 A THUNDERBOLT 205 
 
 he would have found an easier way to discover what he 
 wished." 
 
 During this conversation I stood staring at them both, 
 turned almost to stone with surprise and apprehension. 
 
 " What is it, mother? " I asked at last, doing my best to 
 master my excitement. "Who knows of our secret? 
 Why should the pohce interfere? It is none of their busi- 
 ness, for we are not criminals." 
 
 " ]My dear, dear Weiberl," said mother in a low voice, 
 " you have no idea of the many things with which the police 
 meddle." She continued in tones full of anguish: 
 " Must I inch by inch destroy your youth entirely? Must 
 I tell you of all the crimes which are committed every year? 
 Do you know how many people have disappeared in this 
 city, and are still disappearing every day, without anybody 
 knowing what becomes of them? " 
 
 " Oh, mamma, then do you believe that something might 
 happen to me?" I exclaimed. The idea seemed to me 
 rather interesting than terrifying now. In my heart of 
 hearts, I thought it more the product of mother's nervous- 
 ness than anything else. I imagine that Frau von Friese 
 was of much the same opinion, for she said: *' I must ask 
 your Majesty's pardon for what I venture to say, but I 
 really think she is carrying her anxiety a little too far. 
 Her JVIajesty is very imprudent about her safety, and 
 now she sees things far blacker than they really are." 
 
 " So then, to speak plainly, my dear Friese, you do not 
 agree with me ? You think it simply a coincidence ? " 
 
 " Yes, your Majesty, and I do not believe that there is 
 the slightest danger for Lily in remaining at the school. 
 And let us even suppose that there are grounds for sus- 
 picion. What a good training this will be for her to meet 
 the world!"
 
 206 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 At these words poor mother hid her face in her hands 
 to conceal her despair, for she knew that she would again 
 be obliged to submit to my implacable governess. 
 
 Frau von Friese continued in the same calm, even voice, 
 ignoring my mother's emotion: " I have to be hard, your 
 Majesty. I am the one who has taken in hand the task 
 of preparing this child for life. I must not blind myself. 
 What can she learn if she is always to be sheltered? How 
 can she learn to protect herself? No, as I said, here is a 
 splendid opportunity for her. If this is really some trick, 
 is it not by our good fortune that they were so simple as to 
 make their action easily discoverable? Unfortunately, 
 your Majesty, I imagine them to be more skilful. We 
 have to beware of the traps we are unable to see, not those 
 like this." 
 
 And so I continued to go to the school. Mother, how- 
 ever, thought it time now to enlighten me about the trag- 
 edy of my brother's death, of which hitherto she had al- 
 ways refused to speak. What she told me I will in my 
 turn relate.
 
 CHAPTER XX 
 
 MAYERLING 
 
 " Rudy never committed suicide ! Rudy was mur- 
 dered!" 
 
 These were my mother's words. What indescribable 
 despair did they convey — the despair that dries up the 
 source of tears and turns sleep into an evil dream! The 
 state of her soul since the death of the Crown Prince was 
 not one of ordinary sorrow over a bereavement, but some- 
 thing far worse. Blended with the terrible anguish caused 
 to her by the loss of her only boy was a feeling of intense, 
 concentrated hatred for those who had been the authors of 
 his death. Her heart cried out for vengeance; and this 
 mother's wrath was all the more desperate because her own 
 exalted position prevented her from tracking down the 
 guilty ones, who were themselves of high standing, or 
 sheltered behind higher personages still to save themselves 
 from attack. 
 
 Yes, Rudolf was murdered. This is the true solution 
 of the riddle of Mayerling, and I am grateful to Fate that 
 for me has been reserved the duty of revealing the true 
 story to the world. 
 
 In order to make things clearer to me my mother gave 
 me a detailed description of the manners and customs of 
 the Court of Vienna. I have already, earlier in this book, 
 said something upon this subject, but even at the risk of 
 wearying the reader with repetition it is necessary to re- 
 turn to it again here. At the Viennese Court far more 
 
 207
 
 208 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 than at any other Court in the world, not only the mem- 
 bers of the Imperial Family, but all, be they men or 
 women, who are admitted within the sacred precincts, lead 
 a life very remote from that of the outside world. Here a 
 long roll of ancestors is still the only passport, and whoso- 
 ever cannot produce one, if indeed he can gain admission 
 at all, is eyed with severe disapproval. The inhabitants of 
 this select place think themselves much too good for the 
 rest of mankind, who are mere canaille in comparison, and 
 they actually believe that it is by the grace of God that 
 they have a right to the privileges and comforts of life. 
 They dwell in splendid luxury, while others who are not 
 *' high-born " spend their last penny and work their fin- 
 gers to the bone in their service. These aristocrats play 
 indeed at charity because it is good form, comme il faut, 
 and also because it is a very pleasant stimulant to look 
 upon the misery of others from the midst of one's own hap- 
 piness. 
 
 The Spanish etiquette still reigns at the Court of Vi- 
 enna, which was there in the reign of the Emperor Charles 
 V. Whatever the occasion may be, a birth, a wedding, a 
 funeral, a glad or a mournful ceremony, the feeling of an 
 outside spectator must be the same ; he is carried back three 
 hundred years into the past. The same state of affairs 
 prevails with regard to the government of the Imperial 
 Family, over which the power of the Emperor is absolute. 
 The same again is true of the household, everything must 
 be in the same rank, in the same order, down to the small- 
 est detail of State livery. All is Spanish, all is narrow 
 and arrogant. And, of course, all who claim to belong 
 to the Court fashion their lives on the same model. 
 
 In contrast to this pomp and almost Oriental luxury, in 
 contrast to this conceit of exalted birth, stand the self -de-
 
 Baroness Marie Vetsera Crown Prince Rudolf 
 
 {From a water-color miniature) 
 
 Mayerling
 
 MAYERLING 209 
 
 nial and renunciation, the gentleness and tolerance incul- 
 cated by the Church, the all-powerful Roman Catholic 
 Church. The inevitable results of these contradictory in- 
 fluences are deceit, immorality, and intrigue. Hypo- 
 crites, slanderers, and treacherous dealers abound. 
 Everyone has his own father-confessor, from whom he re- 
 ceives absolution; for the Church has no wish to lose the 
 favour of these great folk, and is content if appearances 
 are maintained. So clergy and Court are the best of 
 friends, and appearances are maintained excellently. 
 
 It is necessary to have lived among these people in order 
 to understand the various causes which drive them to be- 
 come bad; how in one case it is fear, in another ambition, 
 in another weakness of character, in another inborn vice. 
 Anyone amongst them whose mind is of a different cast 
 and who expresses different views is looked upon as an 
 apostate, and his life is that of a prisoner, wearily drag- 
 ging around with him the chains of his captivity. 
 
 What wonder is it, then, that a deep and liberal thinker 
 like the Crown Prince Rudolf should try to set himself 
 free from such surroundings? 
 
 Rudolf in his childhood had been brought up in the nar- 
 rowest of ways, as might be imagined when it is said that 
 the sole control of his early education was in the hands of 
 the Archduchess Sophia, his grandmother. As a matter 
 of course, he was taught to beheve implicitly in the " di- 
 vine right of kings " ; and, until the time came when he be- 
 gan to observe and think for himself, he was contemptuous 
 of others' feelings and arrogant in his behaviour. His na- 
 ture was close, defiant, wilful and passionate, and he pre- 
 ferred his own company. When a little boy he liked to 
 play alone, and got angry if anyone else touched his toys. 
 As he got older he showed a taste for reading, and took
 
 210 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 much interest in everything connected with animals and 
 plants, about which he never seemed able to learn enough. 
 Had he not been born a Crown Prince he would probably 
 have become a naturalist, for he possessed the requisite 
 abihty and strength of will, loved the active open-air life, 
 and was gifted with more than average intelligence. 
 When he grew up, he became less reserved — under the in- 
 fluence of her who was his mother and mine — especially in 
 the society of the people whom he felt to be sympathetic, 
 and he lost the haughtiness which had been implanted in 
 him. 
 
 It has been brought as a charge against Rudolf that he 
 was exceedingly frivolous and frittered away his time in 
 the company of frivolous women. This is mere invention. 
 By temperament he was very serious, and the consequence 
 was that cheerfulness with him often showed itself in noisy 
 gaiety; for it is hard for natures like his to preserve their 
 balance in such circumstances. But his amusements were 
 not dissolute ones. An Imperial prince, however, readily 
 incurs suspicions of this kind. Rudolf's chief amusement 
 was to drive out with his favourite coachman, Bratfisch, to 
 the suburbs, and there to pay a visit to some small inn. 
 Here he would stay till late at night over his Heurigen — 
 that is to say, wine of the current year — listening to the 
 singing of popular songs or talking with the ordinary peo- 
 ple sitting about him. These night excursions of his were 
 not merely an idle device for killing time. They were 
 prompted by the instinct of the inquirer, the spirit of Har- 
 oun-el-Raschid — a spirit, by the way, which also showed 
 itself in Ludwig I of Bavaria. How much more practical 
 was this method of investigating the ways and thoughts 
 of the people than the usual systematic plan which crams 
 the minds of princes with useless rubbish. Rudolf by his
 
 MAYERLING 211 
 
 conduct soon gained the hearts of all his people and made 
 himself more popular than any other member of the Im- 
 perial family. " Our Rudy " was his name everywhere, 
 and it was with feelings of confidence that men looked for- 
 ward to the days when he should reign over them. 
 
 Through the whole course of his childhood he had been 
 treated with such an exaggeration of strictness where re- 
 ligious matters were concerned that, when he had grown to 
 be a thinking human being, he felt an utter repulsion for 
 the Church and he never attended its services unless actu- 
 ally compelled to do so; and he habitually ridiculed the 
 hypocrisy of the clergy. But in time, as he discovered the 
 extent of their trickery, and particularly that of the Jes- 
 uits, and realised what a harmful power they wielded in 
 Austria, he ceased to laugh at them and began to meditate 
 how he might one day cut himself free from them. He 
 sought his friends among the men of science, the writers 
 and artists — and became a freemason. Now masonry in 
 Austria is quite a different thing from what it is in any 
 other country in the world. It is forbidden. The Church 
 in Austria has such strength that it has succeeded in hav- 
 ing masonry declared illegal. To be a freemason, there- 
 fore, is to break the law. The meetings of this necessarily 
 secret society, when discovered, are broken up and the 
 members are prosecuted in the courts. And the Crown 
 Prince of Austria was a freemason ! 
 
 Of a certainty Rudolf was neither the frivolous creature 
 nor the libertine which his enemies endeavoured to repre- 
 sent him as being. But their point of view — or, rather, 
 their plan of campaign — is intelligible enough. They 
 had to be prepared for troublous times when he should 
 mount the throne. The Prince took as his ideal and model 
 the Emperor Joseph II. This monarch, who reigned
 
 212 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 from 1780 to 1790 and was the brother of the unhappy 
 Marie- Antoinette, made matters very uncomfortable for 
 the clergy and the nobility of his empire. He specially de- 
 creed that all religious orders whose members would not 
 " keep school, or preach, or help the sick and dying, or dis- 
 tinguish themselves by study," should have their property 
 confiscated. With the money thus acquired he founded 
 schools, hospitals, lunatic asylums, orphanages, and other 
 charitable institutions. He soon went on to interfere with 
 the internal affairs of the Church in his dominions and to 
 regulate the order of the services and the details connected 
 with processions, pilgrimages, indulgences, etc. ; in fact, to 
 subject the Church entirely to the authority of the State. 
 
 In order to put a stop to these measures, the Pope of 
 the day, Pius VI, condescended even to go to Vienna and 
 beg the Emperor not to proceed with his reforms. But 
 he strove in vain. The reformation went on. The Jes- 
 uits were banished from the Empire. The Protestants, 
 on the other hand, who had suffered terribly in Austria 
 for the past hundred and fifty years, obtained all manner 
 of alleviations. The Jews were granted freedom of move- 
 ment. Hitherto they had been forced to live in their 
 ghettos and to wear the yellow patch on their clothes as a 
 distinguishing mark. 
 
 The nobles did not come off much better than the 
 Church. Innumerable privileges which previously had 
 been theirs were done away with. What affected them 
 most painfully was the abolition of serfdom, by which a 
 great portion of their possessions was taken from them 
 and made over to the freed peasantry. 
 
 The last-named measures were allowed to continue in 
 force after the death of the Emperor Joseph. But under 
 his successors the Church of Rome secured a complete
 
 MAYERLING 213 
 
 restitution of her lost rights. In particular the religious 
 orders and the monasteries were restored. And the Jes- 
 uits, above all, regained their position, their power now 
 spreading farther than ever. 
 
 Rudolf never concealed his aversion to the Church, and 
 to the Jesuits in chief; and, as I have already said, they 
 could anticipate no good for themselves from his accession 
 to the throne. It did not take long, therefore, for a party 
 hostile to him to form at the Court. It would be difficult 
 to name all the members of importance in this party. But 
 it can be stated definitely that at its head stood the Arch- 
 duke Karl-Ludwig (Charles-Louis), brother of the Em- 
 peror and father of the then heir-presumptive, the Arch- 
 duke Franz-Ferdinand. Karl-Ludwig had never forgiven 
 his elder brother for being bom before him and thus ob- 
 taining the Imperial crown. Yet he had a great influ- 
 ence over Francis-Joseph, and probably it was for this 
 reason that he was chosen to head the party against the 
 Crown Prince. He was well fitted for the post, since no 
 one could match him in creeping hypocrisy. 
 
 My mother heard nothing about the vile intrigue until 
 after the death of Rudolf. The latter was unequal to 
 coping with the machinations of his enemies. His very 
 uprightness was in itself an obstacle to him. It prevented 
 him from being able to judge clearly the baseness of other 
 people. Besides, the effect of his early education had been 
 to foster in him a goodly portion of self-conceit, which 
 never left him. He could not imagine that anyone could 
 set himself up as a rival to him. 
 
 Perhaps Rudolf's greatest misfortune, however, was his 
 indifference toward the military profession. 'Not that he 
 felt any personal dislike against soldiers; but he did not 
 take the slightest interest in them and their pursuits.
 
 214 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 Consequently this party, which is so powerful in Austria 
 and is the only one that has any influence besides the 
 Church and the nobility, was estranged from him. The 
 Emperor, on the other hand, was a thorough soldier and 
 could not forgive his son for his indifference to military 
 matters. Their relations with one another constantly grew 
 more and more strained ; which, of course, was grist to the 
 mill of Rudolf's enemies. 
 
 As soon as the Crown Prince was allotted his own 
 Court, which took place on his sixteenth birthday, when he 
 legally came of age, he began to surround himself with 
 people who did not belong to the Imperial Court circle — 
 for the most part scholars and literary men. At the age 
 of twenty he had estabhshed a small society about himself, 
 which was very select but was certainly not fashionable. 
 Among them, to the horror of the Court, there were even 
 journalists; and, worse still, they were mostly of the Jew- 
 ish persuasion ! This was intolerable, and must be put an 
 end to. 
 
 Attempts were made to entice Rudolf into feminine so- 
 ciety. But, if one may say so, he was somewhat undevel- 
 oped on the sensual side and took no particular pleasure in 
 it. Occasionally he noticed himself his lack of enjoyment 
 in the alluring things of this life, and then, as if he were 
 ashamed of his deficiency, he would plunge into some wild 
 dissipation, toward which he felt all the greater repug- 
 nance when he had come to his senses again. The insti- 
 gator of these orgies was Count Charles Bombelles. This 
 man, a son of the Emperor Francis- Joseph's tutor in boy- 
 hood, was first tutor and then controller of the household 
 to the Crown Prince Rudolf.^ Bombelles might have suc- 
 
 1 It was his uncle Charles Ren6, Grand Master of the Court to Ferdinand 
 I, who was the third husband of the Archduchess Marie-Louise.
 
 MAYERLING 215 
 
 ceeded in drawing the Prince into this hfe of vice had not 
 the Empress interfered in time and exhorted the Emperor 
 incessantly to prevent the ruin of their son. 
 
 To Francis-Joseph, looking on Rudolf in more ways 
 than one as an unnatural son, there only appeared one 
 remedy — marriage. If my mother's advice had heen 
 taken and Rudolf had been sent away on a voyage romid 
 the world, his own wish would have been fulfilled and 
 everything would have turned out differently. But the 
 Emperor's advisers, his chief ministers, and his confessor, 
 Father Laurenz JMayer, whose influence far exceeded the 
 Empress's, were against the plan. Was not the Crown 
 Prince already democratic enough? they asked. Were 
 not his ideas already sufficiently perverse that he should be 
 sent to bring home still madder ones? 
 
 And so, instead of taking a voyage round the world, he 
 went to look for a wife. 
 
 Here again came an opportunity for fresh intrigues. 
 Among the few eligible princesses of the day the two best- 
 looking and most attractive, the Infanta Maria- Anna of 
 Braganza, later Grand-Duchess of Luxemburg, and her 
 sister Marie-Antonia, later Duchess of Parma, were not 
 considered.^ If only those in authority had consented to 
 wait a few years — and Rudolf was barely twenty — he 
 would have had a wider and better field for choice, and he 
 himself would have been maturer and more capable of ap- 
 preciating the gravity of the step which he was taking. 
 As it was, he allowed himself to be misled by frivolous ad- 
 vice, especially from Count Bombelles. His advisers said 
 
 1 They were daughters of Miguel I, King of Portugal. Their brother, 
 Miguel II, the Legitimist claimant to the former kingdom of Portugal, mar- 
 ried the Princess Elizabeth of Thurn and Taxis (since dead), daughter of 
 my aunt Hdlfene. Marie-Antonia is the mother of the Archduchess Zita, the 
 new heir-presumptive's wife.
 
 216 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 to him that it would he useless to wait for some princess 
 from fairyland. The heir to a throne must have sober, 
 common-sense ideas concerning marriage. As he would 
 probably never fall in love with the woman he would be 
 permitted to marry, it was a matter of indifference upon 
 whom his choice fell. So the poor, inexperienced Crown 
 Prince, still himself at an awkward age and not yet very 
 attractive in looks, an idealist at heart but profoundly un- 
 conscious of his own idealism, submitted and married 
 Stephanie, daughter of Leopold, King of the Belgians. 
 
 The selection of Princess Stephanie was not fortunate, 
 as she shared none of Rudolf's interests. She cared for 
 nothing but dress and entertainments, and in her manner 
 was tactless and impatient. 
 
 Following mother's advice, Rudolf at first took pains 
 and did his best to bring into harmony his wife's interests 
 and his own. The eflPort was not a success. The youth- 
 fulness of both parties was the chief obstacle to their hap- 
 piness, mother said. She herself, who from the beginning 
 had strongly opposed the match, tried to the utmost of her 
 power to bring the two together. But Rudolf was far 
 from being easy to guide, and in the first year of the mar- 
 riage things went very wrong indeed. 
 
 It was hoped that affairs would improve upon the birth 
 of an heir. Unfortunately, this proved a delusion, not 
 merely because it was a little girl that was born, but also 
 because the doctors now announced that the Crown Prin- 
 cess would never be able to bear another child. This was 
 not merely a disappointment ; it was the total ruin of the 
 hopes of Rudolf and of the whole Court ahke. 
 
 There was now complete coldness between the two 
 young people. They might simply have gone their own 
 way — Rudolf not being a jealous husband — had not his
 
 MAYERLING 217 
 
 enemies thought the time opportmie for them to intervene. 
 The Crown Prince being perfectly indifferent, they must 
 try to arouse Stephanie's jealousy. She would never have 
 become jealous of her own accord. But they gradually in- 
 stilled into her mind that her husband was occupied with 
 the scheme of having his marriage annulled, in order to be 
 able to marry someone with whom he was in love, the 
 Princess Aglae Auersperg. There would be nothing to 
 prevent this marriage, were Rudolf free, for the Princess 
 belonged to one of the mediatised princely families, and 
 therefore, according to the Austrian idea, was eligible to 
 marry even a Crown Prince, The whole story was an in- 
 vention, but Stephanie was thrown into a perfect panic, 
 and became an easy tool in the hands of the enemy. 
 Agents of the secret police were placed at her disposal, 
 who made up and brought to her the most harrowing 
 stories of her husband's manner of hfe. The unhappy 
 woman, instead of enduring in silence or with quiet dignity 
 asking him to explain himself, overwhelmed Rudolf at 
 once with reproaches and insults, refusing absolutely to 
 beheve his categoric denials. 
 
 Terrible scenes now took place, which would have been 
 unworthy of a washerwoman and a stableman. The 
 scandal reached the ears of the public. The Crown 
 Princess herself helped not a little to spread it about by 
 speaking of her wretchedness to everyone who had the pa- 
 tience to listen to her. 
 
 In reality Rudolf, not having a very strong constitution, 
 was obliged to avoid a life of dissipation and to dwell in 
 comparative retirement. Political matters occupied his 
 attention more and more, especially those concerning the 
 spread of liberal ideas. Many a night which Stephanie 
 was induced to believe spent in wild orgies, was spent in
 
 218 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 secret meetings with men of like views to his own. It is 
 probable that had he found peace and quiet in his married 
 life, he would not have been so ready to pass his time thus. 
 As it was, he used politics not only to gratify his personal 
 leanings, but also to escape from his home and the trouble- 
 some thoughts aroused there. 
 
 In order to be able to lead a life free from disturbance, 
 he resolved to buy an estate in the neighbourhood of Vi- 
 enna. Up to now he had resided, when not at the Hof- 
 burg itself, at the castle of Laxenburg, which was not far 
 away. It was necessary that his new place also should be 
 near the capital, and he decided on the hunting-box of 
 Mayerling. So cunningly had his enemies woven their in- 
 trigues that he remained totally unsuspicious that his 
 choice had been influenced by them. Mayerling was all 
 but next door to the Cistercian monastery of the Holy 
 Cross (Heiligenkreuz) . The estate being really too small 
 for purposes of hunting, the amiable monks offered a lease 
 of their grounds in case his Imperial Highness should 
 make up his mind to purchase Mayerhng. As this had 
 been the only objection to the estate, that it was not ex- 
 tensive enough, the unsuspecting Prince accepted their of- 
 fer and bought Mayerling. The result was that he, who 
 thought himself at length alone and undisturbed, was un- 
 der closer observation than before. 
 
 The man who acted as intermediary between the Crown 
 Prince and the monks was the police commissioner, Jo- 
 hann Habrda, the guardian of the personal safety of the 
 former. Habrda owed what advancement had been his so 
 far, to the abbot of the monastery Father Griinbeck, to 
 whom he naturally felt under an obligation. 
 
 Rudolf's political activities were of too mild a nature to 
 furnish his enemies with material for a scandal ; and, more-
 
 MAYERLING 219 
 
 over, as his sympathies were all in favour of liberty, an at- 
 tack on him for this would only have increased his popu- 
 larity. On the other hand, they had so far completely 
 failed to demonstrate to the pubHc satisfaction that he was 
 a dissipated character. And, to make matters worse, there 
 were serious scandals connected with the sons of the Arch- 
 duke Karl-Ludwig, Franz-Ferdinand and still more Otto. 
 The misdeeds of the latter have so often been enumerated 
 in the Press and in books that I am glad to say I can ab- 
 stain from mentioning any of them here. They are so re- 
 pulsive that those who have never heard of them may con- 
 gratulate themselves. I have only alluded to them in this 
 vague way to point out that if people in Court circles be- 
 have scandalously there is no necessity for a campaign to 
 spread the unsavoury stories. They make their way 
 abroad, and do not remain, as in my brother Rudolf's case, 
 mere idle gossip of the Court. Of the things done by the 
 Archduke Karl-Ludwig's sons there were many eye-wit- 
 nesses among the people, both middle and lower classes. 
 Can anyone say the same about Rudolf? 
 
 The efforts to compromise the Crown Prince over his 
 disagreements with his wife failed entirely, and the blame 
 seemed always to fall upon the unhappy Stephanie. 
 Years passed, and no opportunity offered itself to damage 
 him. 
 
 But Rudolf had never yet loved passionately, and it was 
 the awakening of passion which put his ruin within his 
 enemies' hands. He fell in love at last — and fell very 
 deeply. 
 
 The utter baseness and unscrupulousness of the plotters, 
 my mother said, was in no way more revealed than that 
 they employed the innocence of a young girl, who knew 
 nothing of the scheme, to bring about their ends. It was
 
 220 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 enough for them that they found a convenient, unsuspect- 
 ing tool. What mattered it if she too were ruined? 
 
 The Baroness Marie Vetsera's unusual beauty is a mat- 
 ter of common knowledge. Her mother was by birth a 
 Baltazzi, daughter of a wealthy financier from the Near 
 East. She had married an Austrian baron, by whom she 
 was left a widow with four children. Her reputation in 
 Vienna was certainly not very good, but in consequence of 
 the great state which she kept she was at least tolerated in 
 Court society. Her frivolous character was a very useful 
 circumstance to the conspirators, for in consequence of it 
 she lent herself willingly to suggestions of a noble love af- 
 fair for her daughter. 
 
 I never heard from my mother how the Crown Prince 
 became acquainted with Marie Vetsera, and doubtless she 
 did not herself know. Recently, however, the missing link 
 in the chain seems to have been supplied. The Countess 
 Larisch,^ in her book published in London last year, fur- 
 nishes an explanation. It is true that she says that Marie 
 Vetsera first wrote to my brother, and that he consented to 
 her offer of friendship. Now it is impossible that a letter 
 addressed by her directly to him could have reached his 
 hands unseen. And what intermediary could she have em- 
 ployed between herself and the Crown Prince — except 
 one? Either as a practical joke or as a piece of good-na- 
 ture, the undertaking of such a commission will probably 
 seem to most people as going a little too far. And with 
 regard to good-nature, the Countess makes little attempt 
 in her book to conceal that she hated both my mother (who 
 had made a great favourite of her in childhood) and 
 the Crown Princess Stephanie. Good-nature, therefore, 
 
 1 Daughter by a morganatic marriage of Ludwigs eldest son of Maximilian, 
 Duke in Bavaria. (See p. 29, footnote.)
 
 MAYERLING 221 
 
 seems an inadequate theory to explain the assistance which 
 she gave, on her own showing, to bring about numerous 
 interviews between Rudolf and Marie Vetsera. More 
 than this I need not perhaps say. After all, the ques- 
 tion is not one of great importance. Fate surely decides 
 such matters, whatever the nature of the instruments it 
 uses. 
 
 Rudolf was a lonely, unloved man, who in the course of 
 time felt the necessity of finding some object of his affec- 
 tions. The strange thing was that what happened came 
 about so much later than had been expected. 
 
 His enemies lay carefully in wait. Not until the passion 
 had broken into a blaze did they begin to fan the flames. 
 His jealousy must now be stirred. The Archduke Otto 
 and the Duke of Braganza vied with one another in pay- 
 ing attentions to Marie Vetsera, who was regularly be- 
 sieged by admirers. Rudolf, as a matter of course, did 
 not wish to be the last. 
 
 Every detail was faithfully reported to the Crown 
 Princess Stephanie by those who were so glad to have 
 found at last some material for their purposes. Stephanie 
 on her part was not content with reproaching and abus- 
 ing her husband, but in his presence expressed herself in 
 an abominably provocative fashion regarding the woman 
 he loved, designating her in terms which would never, even, 
 have been expected in the mouths of women much lower in 
 the social scale than herself. Nor did she attempt to con- 
 trol herself in the least when others were present. 
 
 The indifference which Rudolf had felt for his wife up 
 to now turned to hate and loathing. His situation was all 
 the more intolerable because for the first time he felt really 
 to blame and did not quite know how to defend himself. 
 
 The result would have been the same in any case. A
 
 222 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 complete breach was now made. Rudolf refused to live 
 any longer with Stephanie, and forbade her to set foot in 
 Mayerling. His meetings with Marie Vetsera were all 
 the more frequent. 
 
 My mother only heard little by little what was going 
 on. She was really powerless. On the one hand, she 
 could not possibly approve of her son's behaviour; on the 
 other, she felt the deepest sympathy with him. She would 
 have dearly loved him to give her his full confidence, but 
 this, of course, was impossible — it was against the ideas 
 of the day, and she was an Empress, and above all the 
 Empress of Austria. The curse of the Spanish etiquette 
 again came into play. Down to his twelfth year Rudolf 
 had been brought up away from her. Till then she was a 
 stranger to him. Not until after the death of his grand- 
 mother, the Archduchess Sophia, did she exert any influ- 
 ence over his character. And even then the strict rules 
 of etiquette made a dividing gulf between mother and son 
 which could never be bridged. 
 
 Furthermore, mother had suffered too much at the hands 
 of her own mother-in-law to be quite devoid of sympathy 
 with Stephanie. Her own docility and her tactful be- 
 haviour toward the Emperor, which was in such striking 
 contrast to Stephanie's conduct toward the Crown Prince, 
 had availed her nothing ; but her failure had made her un- 
 derstand only too well the difficulties of the position. Her 
 powerlessness, in spite of her comprehension, made her all 
 the more unhappy. 
 
 In the meanwhile the relations between the Emperor 
 and his son had not improved. The former had received 
 hints about the political activities of the latter, and, an- 
 gered at the new proofs of his son's apostasy, he forbade 
 him to associate with a number of learned men whom he
 
 MAYERLING 223 
 
 had made his friends. Among them was the famous and 
 universally esteemed naturalist, Brehm. As might be 
 imagined, such a step did not tend to calm Rudolf's excited 
 nerves. He withdrew more and more from the life of the 
 Court. And now Marie Vetsera found that she was about 
 to become a mother. 
 
 Poor Rudolf! He was very fond of children, and 
 deeply attached to his little Ersie. According to my 
 mother, Ersie was a good little girl, though neither very 
 talented nor even intelligent. As she grew older she was 
 terribly spoilt. Rudolf always lavished affection upon 
 her. Many of the pranks which he played with her 
 reached the ears of the public. It was always he who, to 
 the last year of his life, disguised himself each December 
 6th as St. Nicholas to amuse her. It was only when the 
 saint reproved her for having lately acquired the habit of 
 throwing her hat and gloves out of the carriage-window, 
 for fun, that she recognised him. He was very unhappy 
 at the idea that he would never have another child. And 
 now he was suddenly convinced, for some reason, that 
 Marie was going to bear him a son. At the idea he was 
 transported with joy, and totally new thoughts entered 
 his head. 
 
 Hungary was under the Salic law, which allows divorce 
 to the sovereign and entitles the children of any wife le- 
 gally married to him to ascend the throne. The Crown 
 Prince was, if possible, even more popular in Hungary 
 than in Austria. He could attain what he wished there; 
 Marie could become his wife and could wear the Imperial 
 crown. 
 
 But this was only to be his last resource. Before he took 
 so extreme a step he intended, for his father's sake, to try 
 to have his marriage annulled by the Church. Being, as I
 
 224 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 have said, on the worst possible footing with the priesthood, 
 he required some friend who would act as mediator. 
 
 And now he committed an error which was destined to 
 complete his ruin. He confided entirely in his brother-in- 
 law, Duke Philip of Coburg — " that idiot," as my mother 
 scornfully called him. Philip of Coburg was married to 
 Stephanie's sister, the much discussed and slandered 
 Princess Louise of Belgium, and was no happier in his 
 marriage than Rudolf. It must have been this circum- 
 stance which drew the two luckless husbands together, 
 for otherwise they had no interest in common. Philip was 
 depraved and brutal, and really was singularly lacking in 
 mind. Fully convinced that he was doing Rudolf a fa- 
 vour, the Duke communicated all that he told him to the 
 Archduke Franz-Ferdinand, with whom he was on very 
 friendly terms, and whom he knew to be an ally of the 
 Church. 
 
 Now at last the moment had arrived so long wished for 
 by the Crown Prince's enemies. Franz-Ferdinand ad- 
 vised recourse to a priest named Gottfried Marschall, for- 
 merly his own tutor. Marschall was complaisant and in- 
 sinuating in his manners, and was able, by an appearance 
 of bonhomie,, to gain Rudolf's confidence. He seemed to 
 enter entirely into the latter's plans, and even advised him 
 that, to avoid the possibility of interference, he had better 
 send a letter direct to the Pope himself instead of employ- 
 ing an agent. In this letter he was to ask His Holiness to 
 aid him to the extent of annulling his marriage. 
 
 Rudolf must assuredly have been blinded by his passion, 
 for how else could he have believed so readily in the broad- 
 mindedness of the priest? 
 
 " Those abominable traitors!" cried my mother, when 
 she had reached this point in the story, " they had calcu-
 
 MAYERLING 225 
 
 lated everything. He must die, because his life was a 
 source of constant danger to them." 
 
 Her mingled agony and righteous wrath made it hard 
 for her to continue, but at last she proceeded. 
 
 Pope Leo XIII did not condescend to answer the let- 
 ter. There is no need to point out what an insult lay in 
 this alone ; but that was not all. He sent the letter to the 
 Emperor through the Nuncio then accredited to the Court 
 of Vienna, Monsignor Gahmberti. 
 
 On January 28, 1889, about three o'clock in the after- 
 noon, the Emperor sent a message to my mother request- 
 ing her to come to his apartments. They were residing, 
 as usual in the winter, at the Hofburg. To her astonish- 
 ment, on entering the Emperor's study she found the 
 Nuncio in his company — a very unusual occurrence. In 
 a few words everything was explained to her. She pro- 
 tested indignantly, it is true, that even if her son had done 
 wrong, he was being treated in an unheard-of fashion. 
 But the Emperor stopped her with a gesture, and said that 
 this was for him alone to judge. She had been asked to 
 come merely that she might be present at an interview with 
 the Crown Prince, who had been summoned and was ex- 
 pected every minute. 
 
 It was about half-past four when Rudolf was an- 
 nounced. Poor mother I She had not even a chance of 
 giving him the slightest warning. As she told this, in sen- 
 tences cut short by dry, suffocating sobs, the scene seemed 
 to rise vividly up before my eyes. 
 
 " And to think that it was thus I was to see him for 
 the last time! " she cried. Words of comfort would have 
 been a profanation to such grief, so I waited for her to go 
 on. 
 
 To judge by his troubled expression as he entered the
 
 226 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 room, Rudolf must have known already that something 
 was wrong. The Emperor, however, left him little time 
 to think about it. Without any introductory words he al- 
 most threw in his face the letter to the Pope, and de- 
 manded from him, in ill-controlled anger, whether he had 
 taken leave of his senses to expose himself so and bring 
 shame upon his whole family. 
 
 For an instant the Crown Prince stood speechless. 
 Then suddenly, looking the Nuncio contemptuously from 
 head to f oot^ he said with the utmost bitterness : " I 
 ought to have known what kind of help was to be expected 
 from you! Baseness and meanness can always be looked 
 for there ! " 
 
 Turning to his father, he reproached him for placing 
 him in so ridiculous a position, for treating him like a mere 
 schoolboy. But as he had been challenged, he added, he 
 would state unreservedly what he would otherwise have 
 tried to explain with more circumspection. 
 
 Truly he did not mince matters. It was the fault of his 
 father and his father's advisers that he had been made un- 
 happy. They had all desired his ruin, or else they would 
 not have given him such a wife as her to whom he was now 
 to be chained all his life. 
 
 Fearing that his excitement would carry him too far, 
 mother went up to him and gently caught hold of his 
 hands. But Rudolf only became the more passionate, 
 and, after pressing his burning lips to her hands, he 
 begged her not to take the side of the others, when she 
 did not at all think with them. 
 
 The Emperor grew anxious at the effect of this upon 
 her, and impatiently broke in. " Do not speak like that," 
 he commanded, " nor try to make us believe you want your 
 marriage annulled merely because you are unhappy with
 
 MAYERLING 227 
 
 your wife. It is a disgrace for a young man like you not 
 to maintain appearances better." 
 
 Rudolf must certainly have lost his head altogether to 
 dare to answer as he did his father and his Emperor. He 
 told him that he had no right to speak to him in that fash- 
 ion. Stephanie was both stupid and ugly, and he had 
 been forced to take her, while his father had married, of 
 his own free choice, an intelhgent and beautiful woman, 
 with the result — but I need not here repeat what Rudolf 
 in his fury said. 
 
 Things were not taking the course desired by the Nun- 
 cio. It might be expected that the next minute the Crown 
 Prince would be ordered out of the room, before he him- 
 self had had the chance of saying a word. He therefore 
 had recourse to his dignity as a prince of the Church to 
 come forward as a peacemaker, and to take the liberty 
 of speaking uninvited. Suavely he called the Crown 
 Prince's attention to the fact that it was not worth while 
 to quarrel with his family for the sake of some woman. 
 
 At these coolly uttered words Rudolf turned deadly 
 pale. With an unnatural calmness he strode up to the 
 priest, halted in front of him so close that their faces al- 
 most touched, and, emphasising each separate word, he 
 gasped out : " Whom — do — you — mean ? " 
 
 " Your Imperial Highness knows very well of whom we 
 are speaking." 
 
 " Then," shouted Rudolf, " will you dare repeat that 
 again? " 
 
 " Why not? I repeat only what the birds on the house- 
 tops are already chirping to one another, that the Crown 
 Prince, for the sake of some worthless person — " 
 
 The Nuncio got no further, for two resounding boxes on 
 the ear from the Crown Prince put an end to his speech.
 
 228 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 accompanied by the words, " Wait, you priest ! 
 
 Once for all, I'll make you pay for this! " 
 
 The Emperor up to now had kept calm only by the ex- 
 ertion of all his will. He now saw that there was nothing 
 to be done for the moment, and ordered Rudolf to retire, 
 asking him to give his word that he would not see JNIarie 
 Vetsera again before he had had a quiet discussion with 
 him. 
 
 My mother would have detained him, so that father and 
 son might not part in such anger. But the Emperor si- 
 lenced her, and Rudolf left the room unreconciled. He 
 went off at once to Mayerling, where he shut himself up in 
 his private apartments, although Duke Philip of Coburg 
 and the Duke of Braganza were on a visit there. Losch- 
 eggy his valet, heard him walking up and down restlessly 
 nearly all the night, as he, Loschegg, afterwards told my 
 mother. 
 
 It was from Loschegg and from Bratfisch the coachman 
 that mother heard, after the catastrophe, most of the de- 
 tails of what had taken place. Loschegg was a friend of 
 Bratfisch, and therefore confided to him early next morn- 
 ing that their master must have met with some serious 
 trouble, since he had apparently not closed his eyes all 
 night. Now Bratfisch filled a very exceptional position in 
 the Crown Prince's service, somewhat like that of a court 
 jester in times of old. Rudolf talked over everything with 
 him, and put great trust in him. When, therefore, the 
 coachman asked to be admitted he was at once brought 
 into his presence. 
 
 Rudolf told Bratfisch about the events of the previous 
 day and then gave him a letter, which he was to deliver 
 personally to the Baroness Marie Vetsera in Vienna. In
 
 MAYERLING 229 
 
 this letter he begged her not to be anxious if she did not 
 see him for a few days, and promised he would keep her 
 informed by letter. 
 
 When Bratfisch reached the Vetseras' house in the Sal- 
 esianergasse he was surprised to find that apparently the 
 Baroness Marie was expecting him. He gave her the 
 letter and asked for an answer. She informed him, how- 
 ever, that she was going back with him at once to Mayer- 
 ling, and asked him to drive off to the Ringstrasse, so that 
 she might not be seen from her home going away with him. 
 Bratfisch did not fail to notice the girl's tear-stained eyes, 
 and conjectured that, having already had news of the 
 events at the Hofburg, and fearing the Crown Prince's 
 eventual submission to his father's will, she wanted to be at 
 his side at once. Being an unceremonious, queer fellow, 
 he did not hesitate to beg her not to try to force matters, 
 but to listen to His Imperial Highness's instructions, as- 
 suring her the latter was more than ever determined to 
 stand by her. But she shook her head, and, with her tears 
 welling up again, declared that she must go back with him 
 at once, for if she hesitated only twenty-four hours she 
 would be forced to marry another man. And she went on 
 to tell him — she too looking on him as a friend rather than 
 a servant — that the previous evening the Nuncio's secre- 
 tary had come to her mother, with the Emperor's confes- 
 sor. Father Laurenz Mayer, to tell her that the Emperor 
 knew of the Crown Prince's affection and plans for her 
 daughter, and had ordered that she was to be married to 
 someone else — a certain nobleman — within twenty-four 
 hours. 
 
 It was probably the Emperor's intention thus to put an 
 end, once for all, to this love affair. But, said my mother.
 
 230 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 the schemes of the conspirators against Rudolf here were 
 quite different from the Emperor's. It was not to their 
 interest to bring matters to such a conclusion. Otherwise 
 Marie Vetsera would never have succeeded in getting away 
 unchecked as she did. 
 
 When she reached Mayerling, Rudolf could not believe 
 his eyes, and his anger was unbounded when he heard what 
 a trick was to have been played upon him. 
 
 Commissioner Habrda had arranged to report at the 
 Holy Cross monastery all events that took place at the 
 hunting-lodge. It was Loschegg and Bratfisch who told 
 my mother, later on, how they had discovered that Habrda, 
 having the Crown Prince under observation constantly 
 during the past year, had reported regularly at Mayerling 
 to the Abbot Griinbeck, or in Vienna to Gottfried ]Mar- 
 schall. Scarcely therefore had Marie Vetsera reached the 
 hunting-lodge when the news was taken to the monastery, 
 and from there transmitted at once to Vienna. 
 
 In the course of the morning one of the most esteemed 
 journalists in Vienna, Edgard von Spiegel, had been re- 
 ceived by the Crown Prince, and this too, of course, was 
 reported. 
 
 The Nimcio in Vienna is not only the accredited repre- 
 sentative of the Pope at the Court, but also the highest 
 spiritual authority for the Imperial family. In the lat- 
 ter capacity Galimberti thought it his duty to inform the 
 Emperor of what was going on at Mayerling. But he 
 represented the Crown Prince's conduct as if he had in- 
 tentionally disobeyed his father's command and sent Brat- 
 fisch to fetch Marie Vetsera to Mayerling. Then, choos- 
 ing his time well, he told the Emperor that the secret 
 pohce had discovered that for a long time past the Crown 
 Prince had been conspiring with Hungary against both
 
 Emperor Francis- Joseph 
 
 Crown Prince Rudolf and his Fiancee 
 Princess Stephanie of Belgium 
 
 Crotoii Prince Rudolf
 
 MAYERLING 231 
 
 Church and State, and had the intention of flying to that 
 country with Marie Vetsera, whom he would doubtless 
 marry there. 
 
 These last details, as well as what follows next, my 
 mother heard from Prince Rudolf Liechtenstein, Grand 
 Master of the Horse to the Emperor, and one of her most 
 devoted friends. 
 
 After what the N^uncio told him, the Emperor sent 
 Prince Liechtenstein to summon Baron Bolfrass, head of 
 the military department of the government. To Bolfrass 
 he gave orders to take a detachment of soldiers and go to 
 Mayerling, where, in the name of His Imperial Majesty, 
 as well as on behalf of the relatives of the Baroness Marie 
 Vetsera, he was to demand her surrender by the Crown 
 Prince. In case of resistance, the latter was to be ar- 
 rested with all due form and consideration for his exalted 
 rank. The hunting-lodge was to be surrounded by a mili- 
 tary cordon and then tp be searched. All this should, if 
 possible, take place at night, so as to attract less attention. 
 
 Prince Liechtenstein hastened at once to my mother to 
 inform her of her son's danger. Instantly she in her turn 
 hurried to the Emperor. She found him in a state of 
 speechless fury. It was in his nature to be able to control 
 himself for a long time, but when his anger did break out 
 it took him long to subdue it again. 
 
 Mother insisted that the aim of all these machinations 
 against her son was his destruction ; it was this his enemies 
 desired. But the Emperor would not hear of it, and re- 
 fused to yield. The evidence produced by her he con- 
 sidered ridiculous and incredible. He asked her whether 
 she had already forgotten Rudolf's behaviour on the pre- 
 vious day, and whether, after that, she wished to persuade 
 him that there was a plot against the Crown Prince. On
 
 232 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 the contrary, it was he who was plotting — plotting high 
 treason and the dishonour of his house. 
 
 " And it is you," cried mother in despair, " who will bear 
 the blame of his death." 
 
 "Better death than dishonour!" replied the Emperor 
 grimly, little thinking what terrible words he was utter- 
 ing. 
 
 Mother was about to hasten away, horror-stricken, but 
 the Emperor^ either repenting of his violence or unwilling 
 to give her a chance of informing Rudolf, took her by the 
 hand and attempted to calm her. The case was not so 
 tragic as she tried to make out, he said. This would 
 merely be a good lesson, such as Rudolf required, and one 
 that he would remember. 
 
 So an hour passed by, and with it all possibility of 
 mother doing anything for Rudolf. 
 
 At Mayerling, Marie Vetsera had spent the whole even- 
 ing alone in the Crown Prince's study, which he had placed 
 at her disposal, while he, to avoid comment, passed the 
 time until midnight with his friends in the dining-room. 
 The visitors all declared afterwards that they had known 
 nothing of the Baroness Vetsera's presence in the house; 
 and the equerries on duty with the Crown Prince, Counts 
 Hoyos and Bombelles, said the same. At all events, they 
 all thought it wise to pretend to have known nothing. 
 
 They went to bed comparatively early, as they ^ ere to 
 be up betimes the next day for hunting. Rudolf dia not 
 intend to accompany them; he dared not leave Marie for 
 a moment without the protection of his presence. But, of 
 course, he did not say a word about this to the others. 
 Whether he really had the plan in his head of an escape to 
 Hungary is unknown. It is not improbable, however, for 
 he had had this solution of his difficulties in view for long.
 
 MAYERLING 233 
 
 According to Loschegg's account, about one o'clock 
 everything was silent in the place. His own room was in 
 the private suite of the Crown Prince, quite close to the 
 latter's bedroom. He had scarcely got off to sleep when 
 he was awakened by a knock at the entrance door to the 
 private apartments. He sprang out of bed to call his 
 master. But the Prince, having been in a state of feverish 
 excitement all day, had been lying awake and was already 
 up. Swiftly telling Marie to conceal herself and taking 
 his revolver, he went to the door of the ante-room, but he 
 did not open it. Who was there, he asked. A messenger 
 from His Imperial Majesty, was the answer. Baron Bol- 
 frass. Rudolf declined to receive him at that hour, and 
 asked him to return in the morning. 
 
 Baron Bolfrass persisted in his demand for admission. 
 The Prince again declared that it was impossible. Bol- 
 frass grew more and more urgent, and said that he would 
 be obliged to force an entrance. Understanding the dan- 
 ger to which he was exposing himself if he still refused, 
 Rudolf hastily assured himself that Marie was in safe hid- 
 ing, and then let Bolfrass in. 
 
 So far Loschegg had been at his master's side. Now he 
 was compelled to withdraw, but he remained hstening at 
 the door and overheard almost everything. 
 
 Bolfrass demanded Marie Vetsera's surrender. Rudolf 
 obstinately refused it. For a time they parleyed. Then 
 Loschegg heard the Baron raise his voice, up to now quite 
 low, and say: " In that case, I am compelled to have the 
 house searched and to arrest your Imperial Highness in 
 the name of His Majesty! " 
 
 There was silence for a few minutes, then steps were 
 audible outside, and Loschegg heard his master cry: 
 " The first man who dares enter I shall shoot down! "
 
 234 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 Upon this, without waiting a moment, Loschegg rushed 
 into the room. But already a shot rang out from the 
 Crown Prince's revolver, and a man fell — a gamekeeper. 
 There was no time for reflection now; the room was full 
 of people, who could scarcely be distinguished in the dim 
 light. Other shots were fired. The Crown Prince fell, 
 was beaten, trampled upon, and disfigured beyond recogni- 
 tion. Marie Vetsera, who, regardless of her own safety, 
 had probably rushed in at the beginning, also fell, with a 
 shot in her back. 
 
 Who was the guilty party ? Who fired the fatal shots ? 
 It would be impossible to say. Certainly there was not 
 one, but several criminals. And were they not, after all, 
 mere tools in the hands of an infamous gang? 
 
 Bratfisch noticed, looking out of a window casually a 
 short time afterwards, that the lodge was surrounded by 
 soldiers. He said also that the Duke of Coburg called 
 together all the servants and employees at Mayerling, and 
 made them all swear upon their word of honour to keep 
 silence. 
 
 Almost immediately Habrda turned Loschegg and 
 Bratfisch out of the private apartments. He was playing 
 the master, who only twenty-four hours previously had as- 
 sured them of his friendship. 
 
 The dreadful task of taking the news to the Hofburg 
 fell to Count Hoyos. He himself was limping from the 
 effect of the blows which he had received while trying to 
 help the Crown Prince. 
 
 Prince Liechtenstein was the first to whom the horrible 
 story was told. He had promised mother to bring her 
 word as soon as he received information from Mayerling. 
 
 These two gentlemen were at their wits' end as to what 
 was to be done. At last they decided to go first of all to
 
 MAYERLING 235 
 
 the Empress, and as gently as possible to break the news 
 to her, before communicating with the Emperor. But no 
 sooner did they stand in her presence, before they could 
 utter a word, she whispered faintly, looking as though 
 turned to stone : — ■ 
 
 " They have murdered Mm! "
 
 CHAPTER XXI 
 
 AFTER MAYERLING ^ 
 
 In the preceding chapter I have recorded as faithfully as 
 I could what I learnt from my mother's own lips concern- 
 ing the life and death of my brother Rudolf. I wish now 
 to add a few remarks of my own about the affair of Mayer- 
 ling, and then to say something about the situation pro- 
 duced thereafter. 
 
 It is easy to see that such a story as has just been told 
 could not be made public. It was not merely a question 
 of defiling the honour of the house of Habsburg and the 
 reputation of several more or less high personages, but 
 the prestige of the religious hierarchy, that rotten pillar of 
 the Empire which could only be kept standing by the 
 greatest exertions, must also be preserved. The safety of 
 the Crown, of the very State itself, was at stake. Thir- 
 teen years later the whole world shuddered at the tale of 
 how the Servians had butchered the wretched King Alex- 
 ander and his Draga, claiming to save their country from 
 destruction. But my brother, the Crown Prince Rudolf, 
 was no perverse creature like Alexander of Servia. What 
 must one be prepared for if the truth about Rudolf's death 
 became known? The throne would have been forfeited 
 for ever by those who coveted it so. The clericals would 
 have lost their power, the secretly fermenting troubles all 
 over the Empire would have come to a head, especially in 
 
 1 Before reading this chapter the reader must be warned that the bulk of 
 it was written before the terrible affair of Sarajevo. See p. 262 for the ad- 
 ditions since made to the chapter. 
 
 236
 
 AFTER MAYERLING 237 
 
 Hungary. The peace of all Europe would have been im- 
 perilled. 
 
 There is a German proverb which says : — 
 
 " Aber nichts ist so fein gesponnen 
 Es kommt doch an die Sonnen." 
 
 (Nothing is so finely spun that the sun does not shine 
 through.) Let us hope that the day is not far distant 
 when the regime which brought about the death of the 
 heir-apparent will be destroyed for ever. 
 
 That the reactionary party is still all-powerful can be 
 proved from the careers, before and after MayerUng, of 
 two of the most active members of the conspiracy. Gott- 
 fried Marschall, who till then, in spite of his having been 
 the Archduke Franz-Ferdinand's tutor, has risen no higher 
 than the rectorship of the Votive Church in Vienna, from 
 this time onward advanced rapidly. He soon became 
 Bishop-Coadjutor of Vienna; and there is no doubt that 
 if he had not died before the old Prince Bishop, Dr. 
 Gruscha, he would on the latter's death have stepped into 
 his place.^ 
 
 But the case of the Rev. Gottfried Marschall is quite 
 unimportant compared with that of Commissioner Johann 
 Habrda. In modern times Austria can show no other 
 example of such a career. To appreciate fully its as- 
 tonishing character, one has to know what a Golgotha is 
 the ordinary career of Austrian officials. They cannot 
 live on their pay for a number of years, during which they 
 are practically beggars, and even at the age of thirty they 
 have but a mere pittance. If a man has influence, money, 
 
 1 Marschall did not die on good terms with his former pupil, Franz-Ferdi- 
 nand, for the reason that he was opposed to the Countess Chotek and would 
 not use his influence at the Vatican in her favour.
 
 238 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 and intelligence, he can advance a step on the ladder of 
 promotion every three years. But that is the shortest 
 time in which it can be done. Habrda was only in the 
 seventh class — that is to say, the lowest but three of the 
 ten which had to be gone through — when he was ap- 
 pointed commissioner in the service of the Crown Prince, 
 and had taken fifteen to eighteen years (I cannot be cer- 
 tain of the exact figure) to rise even so high. It is clear, 
 therefore, that before Mayerling he was not one of the 
 lucky ones. After the Crown Prince's death, however, 
 he passed through the remaining seven classes in the space 
 of eight years — an average of little less than one class a 
 year as against the previous one class in five or six years. 
 In 1897 he became President of the Viennese Police, the 
 most important police official in the Empire. In addition 
 he was created a baron and received all the highest decora- 
 tions a man can get except the Golden Fleece. This was 
 a man whose father was a poor carpenter, scarcely able to 
 provide for his son's early education. Is it necessary to 
 argue from what quarter came the protection that was ex- 
 tended to him? How was it that the commissioner to 
 whom the care of the Crown Prince was confided was not 
 dismissed at once after the catastrophe ? How was it that, 
 so far from being dismissed, he was, on the contrary, over- 
 whelmed with honours and dignities? Is not this man's 
 career a living proof of the truth of my mother's story? 
 
 By one of the httle tricks Fate plays, the evidence is 
 preserved which makes for truth and justice. The people 
 of Austria-Hungary have, in the career just described, the 
 grain of sand which can bring to an end the working of 
 the machinery that caused Mayerling. If they desire, 
 they have the power to obtain satisfaction for that crime. 
 But will they desire?
 
 AFTER MAYERLING 239 
 
 With the death of the Crown Prince Rudolf the succes- 
 sion left the male descendants of the Emperor Francis- 
 Joseph and went to those of his brother Karl-Ludwig, 
 after the death of the latter in 1896. In that year the 
 Archduke Franz-Ferdinand became heir-presumptive, the 
 reversion of the throne being to the elder son of his dead 
 brother Otto. 
 
 The Archduke Franz-Ferdinand has been mentioned 
 several times in this book, but not discussed at any length. 
 My mother did not often speak to me about him ; most at 
 the time when he spoilt our little excursion at Territet. 
 To her he appeared dull, utterly lacking in idealism, and 
 devoid of personality. As a boy he was mild compared 
 with his brother Otto, who early showed signs of becoming 
 the ruffian that he later on was universally acknowledged 
 to be. He was very affectionate to his sister Margaret- 
 Sophia, who afterwards married the Duke Albert of Wiir- 
 temberg and died in 1902. He was always on good terms 
 with his stepmother, Maria-Theresa of Braganza, his own 
 mother, Anunciada of Bourbon- Sicily, having died when 
 he was quite young. His chnging to his wife, in the face 
 of strong opposition, and his care for his little family 
 proved that he was by no means deficient in domestic 
 affection, which must be counted to him for virtue. 
 
 After Rudolf's death very little was seen of the Arch- 
 duke Franz-Ferdinand in public. In fact, he seemed to 
 be very much hidden away. This was, no doubt, partly 
 due to the state of his health, for his lungs were affected, 
 and consumption was recognised as present. He was ob- 
 liged to spend time in the pursuit of health, some of it 
 on a long sea-voyage. His condition improved, but he 
 did not become robust, and during the past two or three 
 years reports of his shattered constitution were renewed.
 
 240 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 He began to be more visible to the public after his mar- 
 riage in July, 1900, to the Countess Sophie Chotek. In 
 fact, he might often be seen thereafter walking down the 
 Prater. He is decidedly bourgeois in very many of his 
 ways. He is good at business, for example, and by some 
 might be styled mercenary. He owns a dairy, which is 
 called after his name, and has also entered into competition 
 with the leading monumental mason in Vienna, Eduard 
 Hauser. Such a trait does not endear him to the Vien- 
 nese. 
 
 A legend has been spread of his " strong will " since he 
 was officially recognised as heir-presumptive, but it has no 
 foundation in fact. He had no will before his marriage, 
 and it is his wife who is the strong-willed one. But he has 
 strong prejudices, as for instance, against Italy, hating the 
 house of Savoy as despoilers of the Church. On the ques- 
 tion of the rights of Hungary, too, he feels deeply. In- 
 deed, by his attitude over this question he first became 
 prominent in the politics of the Empire, using his influence 
 with Francis-Joseph against the Hungarians. He is a 
 firm advocate of increased armament, working hand in 
 hand in this with General Conrad von Hotzendorf, 
 whose appointment as General of the Staff he warmly 
 advocated. 
 
 No one ever speaks about the Archduke Franz- 
 Ferdinand without mentioning the word bigotry. But 
 truly he has some reason, apart from his own leanings to- 
 ward this form of religious fervour, to be a bigot. His 
 father was bigoted, his stepmother is bigoted, and, more 
 important still in his case, his wife is bigoted. 
 
 There is no necessity to say much about his marriage 
 with the Countess Chotek, since the facts are so well 
 known. She was a Bohemian lady-in-waiting to the Arch-
 
 AFTER MAYERLING 241 
 
 duchess Isabella.^ Franz-Ferdinand fell in love with her, 
 the Archduchess discovered the secret, and dismissed her. 
 Franz-Ferdinand, playing upon his uncle's fears of a new 
 addition to the ever-growing hst of scandals in the Im- 
 perial family, forced him to consent to a marriage, which, 
 however, could only be morganatic owing to the Countess 
 not being of royal blood, nor even of one of the families 
 eligible for marriage with royalty. 
 
 The Countess Chotek after her marriage entered the 
 Imperial Court as the next in rank to the last lady of the 
 old princely families. This did not suit her at all; but 
 she had the Emperor to win over to her side before she 
 could improve her position. She was clever enough to do 
 this, but only by degrees. He created her Fiirstin von 
 Hohenberg upon her marriage — Fiirstin, though trans- 
 lated Princess, being lower in rank than Duchess. About 
 five years ago she insisted that she ought to come imme- 
 diately after the Archduchesses. Her pretensions were 
 supported by the conduct of the German Emperor, who 
 paid her marked attention upon the occasion of a visit by 
 her to Berlin, and Francis-Joseph gave way. He made 
 the heir-presumptive's wife Duchess (Herzogin) of 
 Hohenberg, whereby she now ranked as she wished, imme- 
 diately after the Archduchesses. 
 
 Nor did the Duchess of Hohenberg's ambitions stop 
 there. She aimed at dominating the old Emperor. In- 
 deed, until about four years ago, she felt herself so strong 
 that she thought she could supplant the Archduchess 
 Marie- Valerie. My sister, however, was not so easily 
 beaten. A curious scene took place at Pola, where a war- 
 ship was to be christened, and the god-parents were Franz- 
 
 iThe Princess Isabella, of Croy-Dulmen, married to the Archduke Fred- 
 erick of Austria, a descendant of the famous Archduke Charles. The Arch- 
 duke Frederick is the wealthiest of the Archdukes.
 
 242 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 Ferdinand and Marie- Valerie. But when the Duchess 
 of Hohenberg and Marie- Valerie met they quarrelled so 
 badly that their two husbands had to take them away, not 
 unnoticed by their suites. 
 
 The Duchess is clever, it has been said. At one time she 
 used to mask her cleverness, but now it is generally recog- 
 nised, and concealment is impossible. One of her most 
 useful possessions is a very flexible backbone, and it is 
 through this that she has been able to conquer the Em- 
 peror. She has a good business head, like her husband, 
 and is a successful speculator. She is lacking in refine- 
 ment, especially in her manners. Yet she has tried in her 
 pose to imitate my mother — in vain, as may be imagined. 
 She speaks German with a strong Czech accent, which cre- 
 ates a bad impression when she is heard for the first time. 
 
 She has borne her husband three children, the eldest a 
 girl and the others two boys, and the marriage from the 
 domestic point of view has turned out happily enough. 
 The marriages of princes, however, are never considered 
 purely from the domestic point of view. 
 
 The fly in the ointment for the Archduke Franz-Ferdi- 
 nand and his wife is, of course, that their union is only mor- 
 ganatic and that she cannot become Empress, while their 
 sons are not eligible to ascend the throne. Franz-Ferdi- 
 nand's heir, imperially, is his nephew, the Archduke Karl- 
 Franz- Joseph, elder son of the infamous Otto. That is to 
 say, the nephew will be heir unless the Austrian constitu- 
 tion and the family law of the Habsburgs are both 
 amended. It is fairly certain that Franz-Ferdinand ori- 
 ginally intended to get all the rights he could for his wife 
 (and therefore for his children) out of the Emperor. But 
 he now sees that the aged Francis-Joseph is not strong 
 enough to do what he wanted him to do. Consequently
 
 AFTER MAYERLING 243 
 
 the game has to be played differently. Franz-Ferdinand 
 and the Duchess of Hohenberg have most powerful allies, 
 the Jesuits. In return for binding themselves to them, 
 body and soul, husband and wife have all the resources of 
 the order behind them. The advice which they have re- 
 ceived is to keep very quiet and do nothing to provoke op- 
 position yet. It is even thought that the rumours of 
 Franz-Ferdinand's shattered health are purposely spread 
 that he may be thought to be now a negligible quantity. 
 His interest in Balkan affairs, his anti-Italian activity at 
 the time of the war in Tripoli, and above all his quarrel 
 with Count Aehrenthal, were no doubt considered to have 
 brought him into unwise prominence, necessitating a 
 temporary retreat. 
 
 The curious attitude of the heir-presumptive and his 
 wife toward the Hungarians is probably also part of this 
 subtle scheme. Franz-Ferdinand opposes Hungarian 
 pretensions and pays no more than bare official visits to 
 the country. The Duchess avoids it entirely. Such con- 
 duct has been denounced as foolish, but those who advise 
 it know their business. The Hungarians are an enthusi- 
 astic people when they conceive an affection for anyone, as 
 my mother learnt early in her life. She was an idol to 
 them from the moment they saw her. Such enthusiasm in 
 Hungary provokes a very different response in Vienna, 
 and is therefore to be avoided by the heir-presumptive. 
 The Duchess of Hohenberg will show herself in Hungary 
 after her husband's accession to the throne. She will then 
 wipe out the memories of past indifference. So at least it 
 is hoped, though it is doubtful whether the Hungarians 
 will forgive her anxiety to clericalise their country and her 
 use of her influence in favour of making the Hungarian 
 divorce laws more stringent four years ago.
 
 2U THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 What makes it specially needful for Franz-Ferdinand 
 to go carefully is the existence of a strong party in oppo- 
 sition to him. If the Crown Prince Rudolf, the Em- 
 peror's own son, had a cabal against him, how could the 
 Emperor's nephew, saddled with a wife whose existence 
 threatens State and family laws, escape? The heads of 
 the opposition now are the Archduchess Marie-Valerie, the 
 Archduchess Maria-Josepha, widow of the Archduke Otto 
 and mother of the next heir; and the Archduchess Isabella. 
 My sister's hostility needs no further explanation. Maria- 
 Josepha, a handsome, simple, and upright woman, who 
 now leads a very retired existence, was, as long as her hus- 
 band lived, the first Archduchess of the whole Court, as 
 prospective Empress. Her enmity toward the Duchess 
 of Hohenberg can also easily be understood. As for the 
 Archduchess Isabella, it is no secret that she was seriously 
 annoyed with Franz-Ferdinand because he did not take to 
 wife her daughter rather than her lady-in-waiting. 
 
 The photograph here reproduced is a curious one inas- 
 much as it shows the three feminine heads of the opposi- 
 tion in a group together. Their male companion is the 
 Archduke Ferdinand-Karl, younger brother of the Arch- 
 dukes Franz-Ferdinand and Otto. Like Franz-Ferdi- 
 nand, he has made a morganatic marriage, his wife being 
 Bertha Tschuber, a Viennese professor's daughter and a 
 very charming woman. He is known as Ferdinand Burg, 
 and lives exiled from Court, while she has been created a 
 Baroness. 
 
 The strength of the party opposed to the present heir 
 apparently lies in the number of members of the Imperial 
 family which it includes. Austria- Hungary swarms with 
 Archdukes and Archduchesses, owing to the custom by 
 which the title extends to all legitimate members of the
 
 Archduchess Isabella (standing'). Archduchess Marie-Josepha, 
 
 Archduchess Marie- Valerie {right),- 
 
 and Archduke Ferdinand-Karl
 
 AFTER MAYERLING 245 
 
 family. The sympathy of such is naturally in favour ©f 
 legitimism, which excludes morganatic unions. The Em- 
 peror Francis-Joseph found this the case when he ex- 
 tended his protection to the Duchess of Hohenberg, and 
 was angry at the difficulties put in his way. On one oc- 
 casion at Court he positively commanded his granddaugh- 
 ter Elisabeth, Rudolf's daughter, to take her seat next the 
 Duchess. But Elisabeth herself had married out of her 
 rank, being the wife of Prince Otto of Windischgratz. 
 
 Since the above was written, the Archduke Franz-Ferdi- 
 nand and his wife were brutally cut off by the hand of an 
 assassin at Sarajevo, Bosnia, on Sunday, June 28th. I 
 have thought it better, however, not to alter what I wrote, 
 but rather to add a few pages to this chapter, first concern- 
 ing the crime and its effects, and secondly concerning the 
 new heir-presumptive and his wife. 
 
 There can, of course, be no two views as to the assassina- 
 tion, which has been denounced all over the civilised world. 
 The Serb nationality of the murderer recalls the fact that 
 the late Archduke was in favour of crushing the Servians, 
 whom he did not like. [Among the races composing the 
 population of the Empire he favoured only the Czechs, 
 his wife's people.] In return the Servians hated him, so 
 that there was a special motive for the crime. It is diffi- 
 cult, however, to resist the suspicion that there was more 
 behind it than has come out, or perhaps will ever come out, 
 and that Servia alone should not bear all the blame. Be 
 that as it may, it cannot be doubted that the removal of 
 Franz-Ferdinand and his wife came as a relief to many. 
 The Court as a whole watched with apprehension the way 
 in which the old Emperor was harassed by the two parties, 
 the adherents and the enemies of the late heir-apparent;
 
 246 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 and from its point of view the future looks much more 
 peaceful now. The Duchess of Hohenberg was the main 
 cause of fear, not her husband. There were those who 
 regarded her as a potential Catherine de' Medici, whose 
 ambitions might work incalculable harm. Now that she is 
 dead they breathe again. 
 
 About the new heir-presumptive these people feel that 
 it is permissible to entertain hopes. The Archduke Karl- 
 Franz- Joseph is not an important man ; the training of an 
 archduke does not tend to produce such. He is not only 
 young in years — being born in August, 1887 — but also 
 young for his years. He might even be called childish. 
 He is credited by gossip with having been to see " The 
 Waltz Dream " fifty times ; and he has a strong liking for 
 cinema shows. About six years ago he was put for a week 
 under " house arrest " for firing at targets in the neigh- 
 bourhood of a powder magazine, which was certainly a 
 foolish escapade. But he is not known to be worse than 
 unduly young. On the other hand, the Emperor Francis- 
 Joseph, who was already an old man when his grand- 
 nephew was a baby, has always watched his development 
 with interest and had much to say with regard to his edu- 
 cation, about which his father Otto naturally troubled lit- 
 tle. From the beginning of his life almost, or, to be pre- 
 cise, from the age of two, Karl (as he is called in the 
 family) was regarded as a possible heir-presumptive. 
 After the Crown Prince Rudolf's death there stood be- 
 tween him and the throne only his grandfather, the Arch- 
 duke Karl-Ludwig, who was fifty-six years old ; his uncle, 
 Franz-Ferdinand, whose health was very precarious; and 
 his father, whose accession was out of the question. 
 Therefore his eventual rise to his present position had al- 
 ways to be kept in view by the Emperor and the rest of
 
 Archduke Franz- Ferdinand 
 and Family 
 
 Archduke Karl-Fram-Joseph 
 and the Archduchess Zita
 
 AFTER MAYERLING 247 
 
 the family. Doubtless this is partly accountable for the 
 fact that he and Franz-Ferdinand were not on good terms, 
 the nephew never paying a visit to the uncle's country 
 home at Konopischt, in Bohemia, although he hved quite 
 near. 
 
 Karl-Franz-Joseph came over to England for the coro- 
 nation of King George V, being the representative of the 
 Emperor on that occasion. 
 
 In his looks, the young Archduke is by no means so 
 striking as was his father, being in fact rather slight, 
 though his figure is good. Of his attainments the princi- 
 pal one is that he speaks languages well. He is very cler- 
 ical in his views, as was also his mother. 
 
 But the new heir is very much of a closed book, and his 
 tendencies, being kept under, are unknown. A fate which 
 seems to threaten him is that he may become the puppet of 
 parties. At present the chief influences with him, as also 
 with his wife, the Archduchess Zita, are his mother Marie- 
 Josepha, and her aunt Maria-Theresa, who was the Arch- 
 duke Karl-Ludwig's third and last wife. 
 
 The Archduchess Zita herself, the prospective Empress, 
 may have a rather good influence over her husband, if she 
 can manage to keep it — which is very difficult for an Aus- 
 trian archduchess to do. She was one of the nineteen chil- 
 dren of the late Duke Robert of Parma, by his second wife 
 Marie-Antonia of Braganza. The duke was a very 
 wealthy man, who cheerfully saw his duchy swallowed up 
 by the kingdom of Italy when he was allowed to keep his 
 riches. The Duchess came of a pious race, and her daugh- 
 ter Zita is convent-bred and somewhat bigoted. But her 
 convent was in the Isle of Wight, and her experience of 
 foreign lands has prevented her becoming too narrow, 
 though she remains hourgeoise. She is now, at the age of
 
 248 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 twenty-two, decidedly a nice woman, neither given to in- 
 trigue nor fond of the limehght. Whether she will make 
 a good Empress is perhaps a question. Self-effacement 
 may well be carried too far. 
 
 The little son of the Archduke and Archduchess, Franz- 
 Joseph-Otto, is not yet two years old, while their daugh- 
 ter's age is only reckoned by months. 
 
 I have made a very long digression, and must now re- 
 turn to my own story.
 
 CHAPTER XXII 
 
 I GO UNDEE FIEE 
 
 As the result of Frau von Friese's arguments with my 
 mother, I continued to attend Fraulein Weigl's school; 
 and really, as one day followed another, the coincidence of 
 Bertha Habrda's presence there looked more and more 
 innocent. Mother became somewhat reassured — the 
 more so as she intended that I should pass the greater part 
 of the winter at her side. 
 
 On November 24th she left Vienna for Biarritz. *' I 
 shall let you come to Paris shortly after Christmas," she 
 said to me on the 22nd, when she came to say good-bye to 
 me. 
 
 " To Paris! " I exclaimed in ecstasy. 
 
 " Yes, dearest. I never thought of it before. The 
 place is so big that we shall be better off there than any- 
 where else. We shall be together again in the same hotel, 
 and I will remain there the whole winter with you. In the 
 spring we will go again together to Switzerland, so that 
 my Babe will be all the time at my side." 
 
 Was I happy? I cannot say how happy. The long 
 winter, usually so horrible, would this year be all delight- 
 ful. I should rejoice to get away from Vienna, to rid my- 
 self of all my forbidden dreams of love and banish their 
 memory in agreeable distractions. 
 
 Mother had left, and I spent my time daily from nine 
 o'clock to two in the sewing-school. She had solemnly 
 warned me to be on the qui vive, and this was really the 
 
 249
 
 250 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 only thing which made it worth while for me to go ; for to 
 this day I hate any work with the needle, and it was not 
 less distasteful to me then. 
 
 The three new girls were very friendly to me, and we 
 spent some very pleasant hours together. Hardly had my 
 mother left Vienna when Laura asked them to come to her 
 mother's reception-day, which they did. I was not al- 
 lowed to go, and so did not meet them there. But some 
 time after Bertha Habrda asked if we might come to see 
 her. Just at this time her father was nominated Presi- 
 dent of the Vienna Police, the highest position in the entire 
 police-force of Austria. The family had magnificent 
 apartments, comprising the whole of the first floor of the 
 police building in the Ringstrasse. 
 
 I was a little suspicious — but, I must confess, at least 
 as much of the Kaisers as of the Habrdas. It struck me 
 considerably that Laura had invited them immediately 
 after mother had left Vienna. W^hy had she not done so 
 either before or a little later? Of course mother had for- 
 bidden me to mention her suspicions to the Kaisers, and so 
 they were unaware that she was at all alarmed. The 
 matter seemed to me worth more than passing atten- 
 tion. 
 
 Well, as I have said. Bertha invited me together with 
 Laura. They believed, or affected to believe, that we 
 were sisters, and some excuse had been made for my ab- 
 sence when they came to visit the Kaisers. Bertha gave 
 us the invitation at the school. I had expected it, and so 
 also had Frau von Friese. The day after Bertha was at 
 Laura's home, my governess had said to me, " Now you 
 will be invited to President Habrda's." 
 
 " Yes," said I, " and what shall I do? " 
 
 Was I scared? she asked. Not in the least, I replied;
 
 I GO UNDER FIRE 251 
 
 but nevertheless, unconsciously, my heart was beating so 
 rapidly as to make me uncomfortable. 
 
 " Now don't tell fibs to me, my dear child," said Frau 
 von Friese, with a smile. " Your mother would be tor- 
 tured at the mere idea of your being there. But you are 
 not a baby any more, Lily, and it is no longer necessary 
 to make you believe it wrong to keep something secret 
 from your mother, if it is for her peace of mind and for the 
 sake of her health. On the other hand, I wish you to have 
 both courage and self-control, which you cannot without 
 the opportunity to exercise them. In short, I want you to 
 go to the house of the President of Police. There is no 
 danger. If there was I would not dare to send you. But 
 I too have my spies, who are very reliable, and during the 
 hour that you are there they will be near you to guard you, 
 although I know it is a needless precaution." 
 
 Noticing my continued excitement, which my very in- 
 ability to speak betrayed, she told me that it was just be- 
 cause she knew I should be walking as if on needles that it 
 would be so good for me to go to the Habrdas. I must 
 learn to go under fire. And there was something else 
 which she had to tell me, which would astonish me greatly. 
 Although there was, as she said, no immediate danger, she 
 no longer suspected that there was a plot against me, she 
 knew it! I must not think that my double existence, my 
 life as Miss Lily Kaiser and my other secret one, was un- 
 known to the people who had nothing to do except dis- 
 cover such matters. The day after my mother had told 
 her who Bertha Habrda was, she had set her organisation * 
 to work, and they had found out that Habrda had orders 
 
 1 1 know the name of the police commissioner who was the chief of those 
 whom Frau von Friese called her " spies " ; but as he is still living and 
 in the police it would not be right to divulge it. He was a good friend to 
 Frau von Friese. At the same time he was on friendly terms with Commis- 
 sioner Georg Bayerl.
 
 252 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 to become personally acquainted with me. Indeed, he was 
 told that to some extent his nomination to the just about 
 to be vacant Presidency of Police depended upon his suc- 
 cess in this matter. 
 
 " But why Habrda in particular? " I demanded. 
 
 " Because," said Frau von Friese, taking my two hands 
 into hers and looking gravely and earnestly with her great 
 steel-grey eyes into mine, " because he has already shown 
 himself to be a reliable man." 
 
 "Oh, very well!" I cried. "He was my brother's 
 police-superintendent, and now you wish me to go to his 
 house. I will go — with a revolver in my hand, to blow 
 his brains out and so make one less in the company of 
 scoundrels ! " 
 
 At this outburst Frau von Friese laughed aloud, and 
 now taking my face between her hands, she said : — 
 
 " No, you little volcano, not to do that, but to look in the 
 scoundrel's eyes. Take a good look at him, and learn in 
 one lesson what you have to expect from such a man. 
 Further, you will meet at his house all the men of whom 
 you have to beware. First of all there will be Chief Com- 
 missioner Camillo Windt, who in a short time will be 
 head of the secret police. Then there will be Commis- 
 sioner Georg Bayerl, in a few weeks' time to be the superin- 
 tendent in charge of the Emperor's safety ; and Chief Com- 
 missioner Stuckhart, though he is of less importance; and 
 others, at all of whom you must look as hard as they will 
 look at you. They will talk little, or not at all, to you; 
 but they will stamp your features on their memory. They 
 must see in you a thoughtless young girl, who does not 
 pay any attention to them. Still less must it occur to 
 them that you have any suspicions. Clever plotters as 
 they are, they never would believe that I should let you
 
 I GO UNDER FIRE 253 
 
 go there if I was even slightly aware of what was going 
 on." 
 
 At this moment Frau von Friese was really beautiful. 
 Her cheeks flushed with excitement, and her eyes shone, 
 though the tone of her voice was still soft and even. She 
 was once again, after so long a time, my dear old cheer- 
 ful Frau von Friese. I threw both my arms about her 
 neck and kissed her vehemently. The escapade was much 
 to my liking. I had now lost all fear. And so, about a 
 week later, I went to visit at the President's home. 
 
 In spite of my courage, I must admit that I felt a little 
 troubled when I entered the great building, at every cor- 
 ner of which was a policeman. On the landing of the 
 stairs to the first floor, barring the way to the President's 
 apartments, was a high iron gate. There came over me 
 the impression of entering a prison as I passed through it, 
 and I seemed already to feel the chains clanking about my 
 feet. But all such feelings passed away immediately I 
 entered the private hall, where a footman took our cloaks. 
 
 There were only a few girls and ladies present; no 
 gentlemen as yet. The Habrdas were descended from 
 very simple middle-class people, as was most evident even 
 at this time when they were at the height of their power. 
 At tea we all sat down round the table quite a la hour- 
 geoise. Frau Habrda poured out the tea. It was very 
 cosy and old-fashioned, and I laughed to myself in think- 
 ing of what I had expected and what I really found. 
 While we were drinking tea, a short fat little man, with 
 keen small eyes, entered the dining-room. *' Here comes 
 papa," said Bertha. She introduced him to Laura and 
 myself, as we were the only persons he did not seem to 
 know. He sat down at the table, very friendly to all and 
 full of fun.
 
 254 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 "Which is the elder of the two young ladies?" he 
 asked, looking at me. " You both seem to be of the same 
 age." 
 
 " How is it those two sisters do not in the slightest re- 
 semble each other? " he said again. While he was making 
 these remarks, the little piercing eyes were roving from 
 one to the other. I realised that he would soon make me 
 feel uncomfortable with his banter. Immediately I felt 
 a secret repugnance for this man ; and, perhaps for the first 
 time in my life, I was sorry not to be an openly acknowl- 
 edged Archduchess of Austria. How pleasing it would 
 have been to me to have been crushingly arrogant to the 
 man. Looking at him I could not help thinking, " You 
 coward, it is you that let them kill my brother ! " 
 
 After tea we were shown over the apartments. President 
 Habrda accompanying us. Adjoining the living-rooms 
 were his official apartments, which could be thrown open 
 to communicate with the private rooms, if needed for large 
 receptions. 
 
 " Do you want to see my workshop, too? " he said jok- 
 ingly ; and with this he opened the padded door which sepa- 
 rated his office from the rest. The girls played about a 
 little and seemed rather amused at the handcuffs lying on 
 his desk. In the meantime, he engaged me in conversa- 
 tion, explaining to me that it happened sometimes that he 
 even had to use them himself on obstreperous prisoners. 
 By this time the other girls had passed into another room, 
 while I was forced to remain. I could scarcely any more 
 take in half of what he was saying to me. I kept impress- 
 ing on myself, " Keep calm. Don't show any embarrass- 
 ment! It may be only a test to see if you are suspicious." 
 But, to tell the truth, I thought myself lost already, ex- 
 pecting the floor to open under my feet every moment. I
 
 I GO UNDER FIRE 255 
 
 did not dare to suggest we should follow the others for 
 fear of precipitating my disappearance I 
 
 He talked of matters quite uninteresting to me, and all 
 the while his little eyes seemed to pierce me through. But 
 I resisted these looks successfully. The longer they con- 
 tinued the calmer I grew, until at last he said, " Shall we 
 rejoin the rest? " Thereupon he reopened the door, 
 which had closed automatically. I felt as if I had a new 
 lease of life. Only with difficulty was I able to suppress 
 my sigh of relief at what seemed to me a narrow escape. 
 
 It did not appear to me that the President was a good 
 dissimulator, for he treated me with far too much distinc- 
 tion among the school-friends of his daughter. Perhaps 
 he intended thereby to embarrass me. If so, he did not 
 succeed. 
 
 When I re-entered the large reception-room, I found 
 that a few other guests had arrived. They were mostly 
 very insignificant people. One only of them had the same 
 piercing eyes as my host. He was introduced to me as 
 Commissioner Camillo Windt. 
 
 " Oh, that is you," I thought to myself, " the chief of the 
 secret police. You have a bad face, and I must beware of 
 you." 
 
 Commissioner Georg Bayerl was also there. There was 
 nothing remarkable about his face, though he was rather 
 good-looking. He was clearly one of those who obey the 
 orders of others. 
 
 As Frau von Friese had said, they did not speak to me ; 
 but, every time I happened to glance towards Camillo 
 Windt, I noticed that his eyes were fixed on me. 
 
 After another half-hour we left. I was glad to have 
 got it over. Going downstairs, I went first, hurrying on 
 before Laura and Mina, and I smiled as I noticed how my
 
 256 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 poor maid hastened to my side as if to protect me. I 
 could not speak because of Laura's presence, but I had 
 much ado to prevent myself exclaiming : " Well, I have 
 escaped all right ! " 
 
 When I returned home I noticed that, in spite of her 
 outward calm, Frau von Friese was very uneasy, and she 
 could not refrain from clasping both her arms about my 
 neck and pressing me to her for a few minutes. 
 
 " I was nearly lost, little mother," I said laughing. 
 *' That is to say, nobody tried to do me any harm, but had 
 they wished to they had a splendid chance." Then I gave 
 her all the details of my visit. She was so moved that at 
 first she could not speak, and I had to reassure her by tell- 
 ing her again that no one had really tried to harm me. 
 
 From this day on, unless I went out with Frau von 
 Friese, the faithful Pirker followed ever5nvhere in my 
 steps. I could no longer move without having one of them 
 at my side. Frau von Friese strongly impressed upon me 
 that I was never to leave the school by myself, and that at 
 school I must keep with all the girls and never be alone for 
 a moment. As for the Kaisers, I soon found out that they 
 were quite ignorant of what was going on. Laura was 
 too young to understand, Mrs. Kaiser too indifferent and 
 careless. As for Mr. Kaiser, whatever suspicions he had, 
 he did not say anything to his wife about them. But, on 
 the very next day after my visit to the Habrdas, he came 
 quite unexpectedly to my home in the Strohgasse. He 
 wished to speak to Frau von Friese quite alone, he said. I 
 could not imagine what was the matter with him. After 
 he had gone, Frau von Friese said to me, " Poor old gentle- 
 man, he questioned Laura yesterday on her return; and 
 after what she told him, especially when she said that the 
 President seemed to have taken quite a fancy to you, he
 
 I GO UNDER FIRE 257 
 
 became very much worried and came over at once to warn 
 me." 
 
 From this day forward, Mr. Kaiser nearly always came 
 himself to fetch me from school. He was really a very 
 worthy man, in spite of an insupportably irritable temper. 
 
 The greater part of December passed by, with me ex- 
 pecting every day an order from mother to join her in 
 Paris. On the 18th Frau von Friese received these few 
 lines from Biarritz : — 
 
 " Still the same sorrow, still the same troubles. Will 
 write in more detail from Paris. Shall probably ask you 
 to come there for the New Year." 
 
 This was disappointing. I had expected to be with 
 mother on her birthday and for Christmas, but I was too 
 much accustomed to these disappointments to fall into de- 
 spair over them. 
 
 On the 26th we had further bad news. Another letter 
 came, in which mother wrote: — 
 
 " Since I have come to Paris, my health seems to have 
 grown worse. I tried Metzger's massage-cure, but it did 
 me more harm than good. My physicians tell me that I 
 must lose no time, but go south at once. I feel it myself. 
 I can't stand Paris. I am leaving on the 28th for Mar- 
 seilles, where the Countess Trani will meet me. I do not 
 know how long she intends to remain with me. All this 
 means turning my plans upside down and makes me worse 
 than ever, so that now no cure can help me. I feel that 
 my place is beside my child, and everything seems to con- 
 spire to prevent my having her with me. As she grows up, 
 all kinds of dangers are coming upon her. At night I 
 get even less sleep than before. I always imagine that 
 something has happened to her. My heart ceases to beat
 
 258 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 when I get your letters, for fear of bad news. I can't 
 help it. I am frightened to death of H . He is cap- 
 able of anything. Day and night I dream of my darling 
 being caught in some trap and tortured to death. I must 
 make an end of all this, but I have also to wait for the 
 right opportunity, and sometimes I feel that for the pres- 
 ent I am unable to undergo such great excitements. As 
 I say, I do not know when my sister is leaving me again, 
 nor where I shall settle down. Just now the Miramar is 
 awaiting me at Marseilles, so probably weeks will elapse 
 before I can let you know where to join me. Poor darling, 
 what a disappointment for her again. Make her life 
 as pleasant as you can for her, dear Friese, and please, for 
 God's sake, watch over her and protect her." 
 
 I was perfectly desperate at this news. My poor 
 mother was so ill, killing herself with useless worry — 
 and I was unable to be at her side. I kept on thinking 
 that she was going to die. I was in such despair that Frau 
 von Friese no longer knew what to do with me. She made 
 inquiries concerning the real state of mother's health, and 
 was told that, although it was very poor, there was no real 
 danger of anything serious. This reassured me a little, 
 but I could not overcome my melancholy still. 
 
 The greater part of January passed without further 
 news. Frau von Friese took me about, to the opera and 
 to concerts; but music, far from cheering me, had a sad- 
 dening effect upon me. 
 
 My aunt Mathilde, Countess Trani, mother's youngest 
 Hving sister, decided in the end to spend the winter with 
 her. They went to San Remo, where they intended to re- 
 main a few months. So once again mother had to write 
 postponing our reunion.
 
 I GO UNDER FIRE 259 
 
 " During March," she said, " I shall again be at Ter- 
 ritet, and there we will at last meet once more. The physi- 
 cians want me to try all kinds of cm*es, but my only real 
 help lies in you, darling.'* 
 
 The delays seemed endless. I became terribly discon- 
 tented, and a sort of jealousy sprang up in me against my 
 aunt, who was keeping my mother from me. The real 
 fact of the matter was that mother, if not dangerously ill, 
 was at least so bad that it would have been impossible for 
 her to meet me in our usual way, for she could not go out 
 alone without a companion. I am now strongly inclined 
 to think that her state was due, in great part, to her be- 
 lief that I was in grave peril and surrounded by enemies ; 
 or perhaps she had even found out that I was really in 
 some danger of which I myself was unaware. But at the 
 time it seemed to me that mother was putting me aside for 
 my aunt's sake. I thought that she might possibly have 
 arranged for me to join her earlier than March, and a hor- 
 rible feeling of loneliness came over me. 
 
 All this time I continued to attend the sewing-school. 
 One day we were sitting as usual round our table, when 
 Bertha and her girl friends told us, choking with laughter 
 as they did so, that Commissioners Windt and Bayerl were 
 coming that morning to pay us a visit in school. We were 
 not to let Fraulein Weigl know that it was a joke, as they 
 would come as though officially to inspect the school. For 
 a moment I thought myself that it was really a joke, but 
 the next I shrewdly suspected that they were paying a 
 special visit to see me. 
 
 Of course, poor Fraulein Weigl trembled when she 
 heard the word " Police," and did not know what to think 
 of the two gentlemen sitting down at our table, talking 
 and chatting for half an hour. It seemed to her so ex-
 
 260 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 traordinary a proceeding that she could scarcely believe 
 that they were there officially, or even that they belonged 
 to the Police. To satisfy herself as to this last point she 
 asked them to produce their badges, which they promptly 
 did. If Fraulein Weigl was astonished at this, it at once 
 confirmed my suspicion that they were there for some other 
 purpose than a practical joke. Of course, it was not 
 within the duties of their departments to inspect schools. 
 What had the chief of the secret police to do with this? 
 Still more, what had a commissioner in special charge of 
 the Emperor to do with it? On the other hand, was it 
 credible that they should use their office for the purpose of 
 a joke upon an inoffensive schoolmistress, and risk the loss 
 of their high positions, or at least expose themselves to a 
 severe reprimand? 
 
 More than ever I felt the necessity of being on my 
 guard.
 
 CHAPTER XXIII 
 
 THE END OF LOVE's YOUNG DEEAM 
 
 TowABD the end of January, Elsa's mother and a few 
 other ladies prominent in Viennese society got up a sort of 
 dancing class, in which their young people might be taught 
 some of the national dances, such as the Czardas and the 
 PoHsh Great Mazurka. I had learned all these long be- 
 fore, but Frau von Friese thought it might be some dis- 
 traction for me, and so arranged that I should attend the 
 class under the care of Mrs. Kaiser and the watchful eye 
 of Pirker, who shadowed me everywhere. Frau von 
 Friese scarcely knew Frau von Thyr, as they had only 
 met accidentally at the home of the Kaisers; and as Frau 
 von Thyr was a conceited and arrogant woman, Frau yon 
 Friese had not been very cordial to her. I suppose that 
 Frau von Thyr really knew something about me, and also 
 what Frau von Friese's position was. While, being widow 
 of a field-marshal and very well connected at Court, she 
 preferred not to be too closely in touch with my aflPairs, on 
 the other hand she was flattered to know that her daugh- 
 ter was my only intimate friend. But to her Mrs. Kaiser 
 had to appear as my mother, and I stiU had to go under 
 the latter's care wherever I might be invited. Moreover, 
 I was too young to come out yet, and these dancing lessons 
 were only a preparation for a later introduction into the 
 social world, for one of the essential things in Austrian 
 high society is that aU its members must be perfect 
 dancers. This was one of the few things in which I may 
 
 261
 
 262 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 boast that I was perfect. I did not particularly wish to 
 go to the class. However, as my mother had said that this 
 was to be my last year spent in retirement, I was indiffer- 
 ent as to whether I continued for a short time more under 
 the guardianship of Mrs. Kaiser, which had already con- 
 tinued so long. I was eagerly looking forward to the 
 time when I could rejoin my mother, and that was all I 
 cared about. I felt that I was better when near her, less 
 passionate and quick-tempered, and more accustomed to 
 do my best to be dignified. As I grew older I felt the 
 uncongeniality of the sphere in which I was moving. 
 However, the society at these dancing-lessons was very ex- 
 clusive, according to the general opinion, even to the point 
 of being stiff and uninteresting. 
 
 The first lesson was a sort of introductory dance, at 
 which others were present in addition to those actually 
 joining the class. 
 
 I had not seen Ferdinand Fellner for months, although 
 I spent some of my spare moments in dreaming of him and 
 storing up his memory more and more in my inmost heart. 
 Never, after the interview with my mother, had his name 
 been mentioned by myself, nor by anyone else in my pres- 
 ence. It might easily have been imagined that in the 
 lapse of time I had forgotten him. 
 
 I had taken Elsa partly into my confidence with regard 
 to my love-affair, telling her that Mr. Kaiser thought Fell- 
 ner not serious enough to marry me, and had refused his 
 consent on account both of this and of my extreme youth. 
 Elsa was by nature rather discreet and uncommunicative, 
 and, although she could not but know that my life was one 
 out of the ordinary, she had never asked me about it, while 
 I had not told her anji;hing about it. Frau von Friese 
 had expressly warned Mrs. Kaiser that Fellner must not
 
 THE END OF LOVE'S YOUNG DREAM 263 
 
 be present at these lessons, and that, if he were, she must 
 be informed, so that I might absent myself on those occa- 
 sions. I guessed from what Elsa said that this was Frau 
 von Friese's order. For my governess personally con- 
 ducted herself in my presence as if she had entirely forgot- 
 ten the affair. 
 
 How it happened I do not know. There was a misun- 
 derstanding somehow. Nothing could have been more 
 imexpected by me when, shortly after I had entered the 
 ballroom, I heard a familiar voice behind me saying, 
 " Good evening! What a surprise it is to meet you here ! " 
 
 I was so troubled that I could not speak, and the hand 
 I gave him trembled. He also seemed troubled, and for 
 a moment looked quite pale and embarrassed. To hide 
 his agitation and tide us both through this awkward situa- 
 tion, he forced himself to assume his usual mood and said 
 gaily, " How wonderfully you have changed I How 
 many hearts are you going to break to-night? " 
 
 All my resolutions melted in a moment. I simply could 
 not resist, and so I danced too much with him that even- 
 ing. During the first hour I tried hard to control myself 
 a httle; but after that I abandoned myself to the enjoy- 
 ment of those few hours. I justified my conduct to my- 
 self by saying that I was not harming anyone ; that it was 
 my last farewell, and, above all, that I should feel hap- 
 pier with this memory in my heart. 
 
 Mrs. Kaiser was sitting with a number of other ladies 
 and paid little attention to me. In fact, she did not no- 
 tice Ferdinand Fellner until some time after our meet- 
 ing, and I managed not to let her see me with him. I was 
 engaged for supper with someone else, but I ventured so 
 far as to tell Fellner to sit at my right side and not to en- 
 gage himself to another partner. Supper was served at
 
 264 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 little tables in different rooms, and here again I man- 
 aged to escape Mrs. Kaiser's eyes. 
 
 He seemed more serious this evening than usual, while 
 I, on the contrary, was more lively than was my wont. 
 My partner at supper, finding that I paid very little at- 
 tention to him, conversed altogether with his neighbour 
 on the other side, so that I had leisure to talk to Fellner. 
 The latter was so noticeably quiet that at last, near the 
 end of supper, I asked, " What has happened to you? I 
 do not seem to recognise you any more." 
 
 He paused, and then said slowly, " In the first place, 
 I am preoccupied about my final examination; and 
 then . . ." He paused, and looked at me. As I did not 
 say anything, however, he went on: " Can't you imagine? 
 Don't you know what is on my mind? " 
 
 I continued silent. I could not collect the thoughts as 
 they rushed through my head. I only felt of a sudden in- 
 expressibly sad. 
 
 " You do not care to reply. But I, who have so rarely 
 an opportunity of talking to you, shall not waste it this 
 time. I know your people think me dissipated and un- 
 trustworthy. I called three or four times at your home, 
 only to be told each time that you were not in. I under- 
 stood from this that I was no longer welcome there, and 
 so I remained away. I was not sure whether you would be 
 here; but as I heard that her Excellency Frau von Thyr 
 was to be one of the patronesses, I hoped you might be 
 present, and therefore accepted the Baroness von Busch- 
 mann's invitation. Otherwise I should not have come, as 
 my time is quite absorbed by my work. But now I have 
 at last found an opportunity of speaking to you, and I 
 shall make use of it." 
 
 I still sat staring at him, unable to find a word to utter;
 
 THE END OF LOVE'S YOUNG DREAI^I 265 
 
 and he continued. Was I displeased with him, he asked, 
 for speaking Mke this? Could I not guess that he had 
 been striving for months and months to conquer himself? 
 He grew more impassioned still as I remained speechless. 
 At least I should tell him that I knew pf his love for me, 
 and that I would accept it. He had worked so hard at 
 his examinations, to prove himself worthy of me. After 
 his final he would be a qualified architect, and his father 
 would take him into his business. The firm had a world- 
 wide reputation, and he could say without conceit that no 
 girl could have a reason for refusing him. 
 
 Then he seemed to lose his head. Did my father prefer 
 some idler from one of the embassies, he demanded — 
 some man of title ? He, too, could be a baron. His father 
 had already refused the honour, but could have it still, 
 if that were what I wanted. " Can't you understand how 
 tortured I am? " he concluded. " As soon as I am through 
 my final I shall go straight to your father. I must have 
 
 you!" 
 
 Suddenly the veil fell from before my eyes, and I was 
 as if awakened from a dream. I must stop him, must not 
 leave him in uncertainty any longer. Painfully forcing 
 back the tears, I said, " Ferry, even if I can understand 
 what you say, perhaps I am not allowed to understand 
 you.'' 
 
 I spoke as gently as I could. I wished at one and the 
 same time to comfort him and to destroy for ever all his 
 hopes. But he altogether misinterpreted me, as I saw at 
 once. 
 
 " Oh, you are an old-fashioned girl," he answered with 
 a laugh. " It can easily be seen that you have always been 
 kept as if in a convent. You are afraid of papa's strong 
 will. Perhaps he has already disposed of your hand. Let
 
 266 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 me see what I can do. I will soon make him give his con- 
 sent." 
 
 I was just on the point of saying, " For goodness' sake 
 don't act too hastily," when everyone began to rise from 
 the table. My partner, with a low bow and many apolo- 
 gies for being compelled to disturb me, offered me his 
 arm. Behind me Fellner laughed, saying in a joyful 
 voice, *' Arrivederci ! Later on I " 
 
 But I had no opportunity to speak to him again. Mrs. 
 Kaiser had at last noticed that he was seeking me out, and 
 every time he tried to approach me either Laura or Elsa 
 was immediately at my side, so that at last I was compelled 
 to go home, with my heart full of anguish and almost in 
 despair. One moment I wished to whisper to him that I 
 would try to meet him somewhere, but immediately my 
 conscience disapproved of an action which at that time 
 seemed to me dreadful — apart from its being impos- 
 sible. 
 
 With all this my passion had blazed up stronger than 
 ever. How masterfully he had spoken! He was quite 
 changed since last summer. He had suddenly become a 
 man. But then again the thought forced itself upon me 
 on what a desperate and hopeless struggle I was embark- 
 ing. My anguish at the idea of his going to speak to my 
 guardian was indescribable. More than ever I longed for 
 my mother's presence. I should have thrown myself at 
 her feet, imploring her to give her consent to this union. 
 It seemed to me that it was destiny which had caused me to 
 be brought up away from the Court, whereby it had been 
 possible to meet him. 
 
 But, alas! mother was far away, and I was alone with 
 my torturing thoughts. I had the most intense need of 
 someone in whom to confide. But who was there? And
 
 THE END OF LOVE'S YOUNG DREAM 267 
 
 now I committed a great error, for I deceived the one per- 
 son above all in whom I should have had confidence, Frau 
 von Friese. Instead of going at once to her, I trembled 
 at the very thought of doing so. Her first impulse, I felt, 
 would be one of indignation, and afterwards she would 
 lead me into the right way. But I had no desire for the 
 right way then. Frau von Friese would have induced me 
 to abandon my fantastic ideas at once, while I on the con- 
 trary wanted to find someone who would indulge my pas- 
 sion. Still, the great reason for my refusing to speak to 
 her was, as I have said, fear. I knew how implacably 
 severe she could be, and this time she would have been 
 quite pitiless. 
 
 Finally I took a step which should have been the very 
 last to be dreamt of. I placed myself in the hands of Mrs. 
 Kaiser, hoping that she, who knew the whole affair from 
 the beginning, would help me. At first she seemed rather 
 alarmed. The next moment she laughed over this 
 " folly " of mine, as she called it. Yet it did not escape 
 me that her manner of speech was rather forced, and I 
 was not at all favourably impressed when she concluded: 
 " Well, I think that was carrying a joke rather too far. 
 You will see that the young man will not reappear. 
 There is only one way to make sure. Let us wait until 
 his examinations are over." 
 
 And so I waited patiently. Naively I failed to realise 
 that through my confession to Mrs. Kaiser I had given her 
 just the opportunity which enabled her surreptitiously and 
 without great difficulty to bring the whole affair to an 
 end. 
 
 When the date of Ferdinand Fellner's examination was 
 past my uneasiness began to grow again. Had JNIrs. 
 Kaiser been right? Was all that he had said a jest? If
 
 268 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 that were so I never could endure such an outrage quietly. 
 I was speculating vainly what was to be done when, quite 
 unexpectedly, I saw in a newspaper that his mother had 
 died suddenly. Of course, I immediately found an excuse 
 for him and waited patiently again. But, though I had 
 heard nothing from him since our last meeting, I could not 
 consider myself free. I should be obliged to attend the 
 dancing class while he was in deep mourning. I could 
 not do that. But what excuse was I to find? This was 
 my plan for the first week. I rubbed the skin off the 
 ankle of my right foot with the heel of the left, and so 
 made what looked like a serious enough wound to prevent 
 me from going out. I thought that before this could have 
 time to heal I should hear from him. But no news 
 came. 
 
 My next step was certainly most audacious and impru- 
 dent. I must have parted with my reason to ignore com- 
 pletely my mother's strict orders and overlook the grief I 
 should cause her. I wrote to Ferdinand Fellner. In my 
 letter I asked him not to be surprised and hurt if its con- 
 tents seemed to him rather frivolous. It was intended as 
 an apology if I should again attend the dancing class. 
 As I had heard nothing from him since our last meeting, 
 I was no longer able to stay away without exciting the 
 suspicions of my friends. Besides I did not really know 
 whether I was called upon to do so. I begged him to write 
 back to me. 
 
 As the answer must come to my guardians' address, to 
 prevent its being intercepted before reaching me I bribed 
 one of the kitchen-maids to be on the lookout for it. A 
 few days later, after I had suffered tortures, the girl 
 handed me a black-bordered envelope. The letter's brief 
 contents were as follows : —
 
 THE END OF LOVE'S YOUNG DREA^I 269 
 
 Dear Miss Lily, 
 
 After the sad event which has just happened, I do 
 not feel at present in the mood to talk about anything Hke 
 the subject of our last conversation, and therefore beg you 
 to consider it unspoken. 
 
 Now I knew. But how dreadful was that knowledge! 
 It was my first stunning blow. With it departed my 
 childhood and the confidence which I had hitherto had in 
 everyone. I lost that innocent pleasure in life which had 
 been mine. I had been heartlessly deceived ; or at least I 
 thought so, for of course, at the time, I blamed him for all 
 and never imagined that there had been any outside inter- 
 ference. 
 
 In later years, when I learned that Mr. Kaiser had 
 given Ferdinand Fellner to understand the impossibility 
 of his plans concerning me and had advised him to with- 
 draw, I changed my ideas a great deal. But nothing 
 could give me back my lost youth. I never saw him again. 
 He, too, I afterwards heard, was in despair at the unhappy 
 ending of the affair. He abandoned himself to a wild 
 and ruinous life, which made him ill for years, and finally 
 caused his premature death. 
 
 Only after I received the unwelcome intelligence con- 
 tained in Fellner's short letter did it occur to me in what a 
 disgraceful manner I had behaved towards my mother. 
 My sole consolation, and it was a faint one, at this unhappy 
 moment, was that at least I was able to save her from a 
 worse grief I might have caused her. As I recovered from 
 the blow I could readily understand how much greater the 
 misfortune would have been had his answer been favour- 
 able to my wishes. Now I could see how utterly impos- 
 sible it would have been for me to plead with my poor 
 mother for her consent. *
 
 270 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 I had scarcely had time to think much about this, how- 
 ever, when, like a flash of Hghtning across the sky, came 
 the following telegram from mother to Frau von Friese : — 
 
 " Bring Caroline at once." 
 
 Brief as was the message, I could read in it that mother 
 did not send it just now by chance alone, and I was afraid 
 to meet her. Yet, in spite of my fear, I longed for her 
 as the only comfort I had, the only person who could give 
 be peace again. I think I shall never forget this inter- 
 view if I live to be a hundred years old. 
 
 Mother was sitting alone in the drawing-room of our 
 apartments in the hotel where Frau von Friese and my- 
 self were staying at San Remo. This time I did not stay 
 in the same hotel as mother. 
 
 She was even paler than usual, and her features wore a 
 hard, marble-hke expression such as I had never seen be- 
 fore on her dear face. At the sight of her I trembled 
 from head to foot. Usually we hurried into each other's 
 arms; but this time she remained motionless. Suddenly 
 she seemed to lose patience, and then she said in a voice 
 that was almost harsh: "Do you dare to come again be- 
 fore my eyes? " 
 
 This beginning was totally unexpected. I felt my tears 
 choke me. 
 
 " You have deceived me and lied to me. I suppose you 
 come now to do the same again." 
 
 This too was said severely, though her voice had some- 
 what softened, with less anger and more reproach in it. 
 I remained silent. I had already feared that she might 
 have heard something of what I had done, but I had con- 
 tinued to hope that I was mistaken. Her manner of 
 greeting me, therefore, came like a bolt from the blue.
 
 THE END OF LOVE'S YOUNG DREAM 271 
 
 My fault must have been depicted to her as much worse 
 than it really was. 
 
 Misinterpreting my silence as obstinacy, and irritated 
 at the absolute quiet which reigned, she grew angrier 
 again; but this time it was a deadly quiet anger, for she 
 spoke now in an almost icy voice. " Madame the Arch- 
 duchess (Frau Erzherzogin) does not seem to have heard 
 that I have spoken to her," she said. 
 
 For the first and only time in my hfe she addressed me 
 by this title, as though wishing to remind me of what I 
 seemed to have forgotten. I really did not know what I 
 could say, but I felt that I must give some sort of an an- 
 swer if only to show my willingness to speak. With a 
 superhuman effort I forced out the words, " I have heard, 
 mother." 
 
 Then suddenly something seemed to restore to me my 
 strength, and determinedly keeping back my tears, I ex- 
 claimed loudly: " I never lied to you, mother, and it is 
 because I do not wish to do so to-day that I have taken so 
 long to make my reply." All my pride had returned to 
 me, and I continued: "When I gave you my promise 
 in the Tyrol last summer, I intended to be faithful to my 
 word. Circumstances turned my head, but, even in the 
 moment of my greatest passion, I never thought to keep a 
 word of all this secret from you. I thought of rebellion, 
 perhaps, bui^ never of deceit." 
 
 And now I told her of all I had suffered ; how lonely I 
 had felt, especially since she had seemed to prefer Aunt 
 Mathilde's company to mine; and how, really, it had been 
 more my pride than anything else that had induced me 
 to write to the young man. With this I took out the 
 black-bordered envelope and gave it to her. 
 
 She did not know of the letter's existence until now, and
 
 272 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 this at last convinced her that I had intended to speak to 
 her. It was the final necessary proof that I had meant to 
 be true to her. She was deeply moved and pulled me 
 toward her. Then, holding me motionless in her arms, she 
 looked at me with those sad eyes of hers, in which the tears 
 had come, and whispered: " My poor, lonely girl! " 
 
 Her expression as she spoke I can never forget; and 
 even now when I am feeling most miserable, I am restored 
 by thinking of those words: " My poor, lonely girl! " 
 
 After we had sat together Hke this for a short time, she 
 began to speak again : " We have to give up many things 
 in this life, child, which seem to us sacred. You have 
 early to learn to bow to this rule. Perhaps there will some 
 time come a day when people will tell of a princess who 
 had to renounce what was sacred to her for the sake of the 
 people." 
 
 " But how could it be I, darling mother? " I whispered 
 in reply. " What have my sufferings to do with the peo- 
 ple? It would be a great consolation to me if it were so! 
 But what am I to them? " 
 
 But now mother put both her hands over my eyes and 
 said: "Once you promised me blind obedience, and I 
 promised you to make you reach the goal of your ambi- 
 tions." 
 
 Hearing her words I bowed down and fervently kissed 
 her hands. And with this my first dream of love was shat- 
 tered for ever.
 
 CHAPTER XXIV 
 
 OUR LAST DAYS TOGETHEE 
 
 I REMAINED but twenty-four hours in San Remo and then 
 returned to Vienna for a short while. I well remember in 
 what a state of depression I was and how I cried all night 
 while the sleeping-car bore me away from my mother 
 again. 
 
 We were not long separated this time, however, for I 
 passed barely a week in Vienna and then joined her once 
 more at Territet. Here she recovered to some extent 
 from her nervous state, and, if she could not stand the 
 strain of long walks, we were at least able to take short 
 rambles in the neighbouring woods. In the evenings and 
 at night we talked for hours of many things, but chiefly 
 about my future. 
 
 How amusing it would be to watch the astonishment of 
 all the people who knew nothing of my story, when they 
 were at last enlightened ! 
 
 " I myself will go with you to pay a visit to Frau von 
 Thyr and her daughter," said my mother. " And then 
 all those girls who were your companions at school — what 
 will they say? But, Weiberl, you won't be conceited, will 
 you, when all these people suddenly bow down before you 
 and everybody turns round to stare at you in the streets? 
 On the contrary, it must prove to you how light and 
 frivolous the world is." 
 
 And should I know my father and sisters? I asked. 
 
 *' Yes, of course," she answered ; but I felt a certain 
 strangeness in the tone of her voice. 
 
 273
 
 274 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 Somewhat embarrassed at this I continued : " I wonder 
 how I shall get on with them." 
 
 "Very well, I hope, dear. Anyhow, they will not 
 trouble us much.'* 
 
 But I was afraid of Valerie, I said. I did not know 
 why, but I did not think she would like me. Mother, how- 
 ever, told me it was wrong to entertain such ideas. Val- 
 erie was good and kind, and would try to take me under 
 her sisterly wing. Probably she might insist upon the fact 
 that she was the elder sister, whom I must therefore re- 
 spect. But, as I was a reasonable person, who understood 
 the weak points of others, I would give in and get on very 
 well with her. 
 
 On one of the last days of our stay, mother said to me : 
 " When I return to Vienna I shall have to settle all the 
 matters connected with bringing you out. This year is 
 the right time." 
 
 " How will you manage to do it, mother? " I asked ex- 
 citedly. 
 
 " Very simply," she replied. " The Emperor will have 
 to announce officially to Parliament that the Empress and 
 he have a third daughter living, who has been educated 
 away from the Court, and who will be introduced on the 
 occasion of his Jubilee. It will not make any trouble 
 whatever. All is in order, the papers and everything. 
 That is all that will be necessary." 
 
 So the time of separations was almost past, the date of 
 my recognition was almost at hand. The days dragging 
 out their slow length were scarcely bearable to me in my 
 increasing impatience. This time I gladly accepted the 
 parting from mother. Was I not longing for news that 
 my future was decided upon? 
 
 We returned to Vienna in the first week of April, and
 
 OUR LAST DAYS TOGETHER 275 
 
 I schooled myself as best I could to await the outcome of 
 mother's mission. But she did not let me hear anything 
 for a few days ; and then Frau von Friese received only a 
 line or two, stating that she was suddenly indisposed and 
 must leave almost immediately for Kissingen. She only 
 came to bid me good-bye. In answer to the questioning 
 look in my eyes, she said, " My poor darling, I feel so 
 miserable all at once. For the moment my nerves will 
 not allow me to undertake what I intended." 
 
 I kissed her hand, and made no answer. I guessed that 
 there was some quite other obstacle than the question of 
 her health. But, as I wished to make her beheve that I 
 was confident, I kept silence. 
 
 She remained with me only a short time, during which 
 I could see how she was tortured by the thoughts which 
 she wished to keep to herself. Only at the last, when she 
 put her arms about me and gave me the farewell kiss, did 
 she lose countenance. There was one heart-breaking sob 
 from her. Neither of us said a single word more. It was 
 useless. We understood without words. 
 
 Mother remained away nearly two months, going first 
 to Kissingen, and after that to Bruckenau. The weeks 
 crawled by for me with the most deadly slowness. I was 
 so depressed that nothing now had any interest for me. 
 I tried to be reasonable and succeeded fairly well in the 
 daytime ; but at night I could not get any sleep. The re- 
 membrance of that long last sob of mother's remained in 
 my heart. What did it mean? I knew that there must 
 have been some trouble about me, but I could not imagine 
 what was its nature. I indulged in all sorts of conjec- 
 tures as to her meeting with the Emperor. I fancied that 
 he had been abrupt, perhaps had refused point-blank to do 
 what mother asked. But why he should set his face
 
 276 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 against me I could not make out. Or had mother had to 
 fight against others, with whom she was not strong enough 
 to contend? It was a great enigma, unsolvable by me. 
 
 Toward the middle of June mother returned to Vienna. 
 She was slightly better, but what was wrong with her was 
 mental rather than physical trouble. It was given out 
 ojSicially that she needed a complete rest, and that Profes- 
 sor Nothnagel had told her that if she wished to recover 
 speedily she should see as few people as possible, and not 
 even her own family. The truth, of course, was that she 
 was at the moment on such terms with the family that she 
 declined to see any of them. 
 
 Frau von Friese's health was not completely restored 
 yet, although she w^as much better than before. Professor 
 Nothnagel told her that she should go for a cure to 
 Franzensbad, as her blood was in a poor condition. At 
 first she thought of taking me with her, but this idea was 
 discountenanced by mother, who did not wish me to be ab- 
 sent from Vienna while she was there. So Frau von 
 Friese went alone to Franzensbad, while I remained at my 
 own home in the Strohgasse with Fraulein Hain. 
 
 During the month of June the Kaisers were again at 
 Voslau, and I was often with them for the week-ends. 
 Almost every day I met mother in a corner of her park 
 at Lainz. I was brought to a side entrance by my coach- 
 man, Franz Schneider, and by Pirker, who accompanied 
 me to our meeting-place. There he left me and waited 
 sometimes for hours until I returned. This dear old ser- 
 vant was the one person besides Frau von Friese in whose 
 care my mother trusted me. He was like my own shadow 
 to me. Nothing could be a sweeter reward to him than to 
 hear mother say one morning: "Pirker, you are my 
 greatest comfort. I don't know what I should do without
 
 OUR LAST DAYS TOGETHER 277 
 
 you. As long as I know you are near my daughter, I feel 
 that she is safe." 
 
 I must say here that mother was not very well pleased 
 at Frau von Friese's leaving me so often alone, although 
 she could do nothing to prevent it, for my governess was 
 with me of her own good will, and not by regular appoint- 
 ment. Frau von Friese, for her part, was of the opinion 
 that my mother was needlessly anxious about me, and 
 never would believe that I was really in danger. JMore- 
 over, the police commissioner who acted as her confidential 
 agent had assured her that there was nothing planned 
 against me at present, and that everything seemed safe. 
 
 In spite of Professor Nothnagel's advice, mother seemed 
 to have trouble about her all the time. I would almost 
 have given my life that she might tell me what was going 
 on ; but all I could find out was that, as I have already said, 
 she was on bad terms with all the members of her family. 
 
 On July 2nd she left for Ischl. Frau von Friese was 
 to return in a week's time and to accompany me there too. 
 " I hope things will get on better now," were mother's 
 last words. " I think that you will be able to join me 
 again toward the middle of the month." 
 
 And now Frau von Friese had returned from Franzens- 
 bad, and everything was in readiness for our departure. 
 We only awaited the final order from mother. On the 
 18th came the letter we were expecting, but, to our aston- 
 ishment, not from Ischl, but from Munich. 
 
 " I am on my way to Nauheim," she wrote. " Left 
 Ischl quite unexpectedly. Will tell you all when we meet. 
 Join me at once at Nauheim." 
 
 More trouble, I thought to myself. And I was not mis- 
 taken. This time mother concealed nothing from me. 
 She told me that for many months she had been taking
 
 278 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 steps to effect my recognition, but that new difficulties kept 
 cropping up. As long ago as the previous autumn she 
 had talked matters over with the Emperor. At first he 
 had been quite willing to discuss the subject. But gradu- 
 ally those in his confidence had turned him against it. He 
 suddenly made an objection to my broad-minded system of 
 education, said he was afraid this would have a bad effect 
 at Court, and so on. 
 
 Mother did not know what to do, when she was ap- 
 proached by the Jesuits through the medium of Cardinal 
 Steinhuber. The Cardinal in his younger days had been 
 religious instructor in the house of my grandfather, the 
 Duke Max in Bavaria, and had taught the daughters. He 
 was, therefore, personally acquainted with my mother. 
 
 The Jesuits' proposal was that if they assisted mother 
 with regard to me she must use her influence in support 
 of certain privileges which they claimed in Hungary ; and, 
 secondly, she must send me to a convent for three years. 
 She could not agree to these conditions, and particularly 
 not to the latter. She had a great affection for the Hun- 
 garians, and would not work against their prejudices, while 
 as to me it is hardly necessary to say that she never dreamt 
 of yielding. Such a plan would either destroy the fruits 
 of a careful education or else would entail upon me a life 
 of misery, as it was too late now for the convent rule to 
 influence me. 
 
 I believe that the Cardinal personally did all he could 
 to help mother. But the Jesuits would not abate their 
 terms in the least. The only result was that they became 
 more hostile to us. In vain mother tried to win over the 
 Emperor single-handed. 
 
 There had been violent scenes at Ischl. Mother threat- 
 ened to appeal to Hungary. She suddenly left Ischl and
 
 OUR LAST DAYS TOGETHER 279 
 
 went abroad, causing, as she wished, the more sensation 
 because she ahnost invariably stopped at Ischl over the 
 Emperor's birthday. 
 
 When she told me of all this she added excitedly: 
 " And Austria shall not see me again until you have been 
 given your rights. They know that I adliere to what I 
 say. I have given them proofs of that. They shall come 
 tome!" 
 
 And now one morning she hastened, full of joy, to meet 
 me, waving her hand to me from afar in token of triumph. 
 She was happy, as I had not seen her for a long time. 
 
 " Weiberl," she called out, when she was still a little 
 distance away, " you see, they are coming to me now ! I 
 knew it. I had a message to-day from the Emperor. 
 He wants to meet me here, or else in a few weeks' time at 
 Territet, or somewhere in Switzerland, to talk matters 
 over with me again. He wishes to make his announce- 
 ment on December 2nd, and we will fix the date when I 
 am to present you to him and your sisters." 
 
 Hearing her words, I began to tremble. I felt as if a 
 great weight were pressing upon my heart. Why did I 
 hesitate for some time before I could join in my mother's 
 pleasure? What was it that almost made the tears come 
 to my eyes? Why did I feel so sorry for mother at that 
 moment ? Why did I throw myself into her arms to avoid 
 the necessity of speaking? I could not have explained my 
 emotion at the time. But to-day I know that it was one 
 of those uncanny presentiments which flash upon the soul 
 and prepare it for what is to come. 
 
 I stopped about three weeks with mother at Nauheim. 
 As usual, the time was all delightful while I was near her. 
 But how awful, how ghastly it is to be compelled to add 
 that this was the last time that we were ever together I It
 
 280 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 is beyond my powers to describe this final stay with her. 
 When I try to recollect that time, so full of sunshine, my 
 eyes are bhnded with tears, and I cannot see what I am 
 writing. 
 
 How could anyone else realise what sufferings are mine 
 again and again, whenever I think of this unconscious fare- 
 well between mother and myself? It is an agony which 
 can never be exhausted until the last day of my life. 
 When the memory comes back to me, I feel like a deserted, 
 lonely child, calling in vain for " mother." My whole soul 
 cries out for her in whom I lost not merely the best and 
 most loving of mothers, but everything in the world, every- 
 thing indefinite and unmeasurable. 
 
 In this death there lay for me such terrible misery as, I 
 believe, few beings have ever had to undergo. But my 
 pen is unequal to the task of picturing it. Can I convey 
 my thought when I say that from the moment of her death 
 I imderstood the custom of the ancients, who in the in- 
 tensity of their grief rent their garments and tore their 
 hair? I, too, have this feeling, and as the remembrance 
 comes back to me I have an overmastering desire to throw 
 myself upon the ground and rend everything upon me. 
 
 But I may not do such things; and, instead, the ever- 
 burning anguish must remain pent up in my soul, invisible 
 to all the world — in which there is, happily for himself, 
 no man who could comprehend it to the full.
 
 CHAPTER XXV 
 
 THE HAND OF FATE 
 
 In the first half of August, 1898, I went with Frau von 
 Friese to Portschach, in Karinthia, to stay with the 
 Kaisers. Mother did not wish to keep me with her at the 
 moment lest she should appear to the Emperor to be act- 
 ing out of mere stubbornness. Her own immediate re- 
 turn to Austria would have been too abrupt, while if I 
 had remained at Nauheim it would have looked like flout- 
 ing the Emperor's desires. So with a heavy heart she 
 let me go. 
 
 Frau von Friese stopped at Portschach several days. 
 Then, on August 23rd, she left for Denmark. She had 
 originally intended to go there later on. But, as mother 
 wrote that she wanted us to join her in Switzerland about 
 the middle of September, she decided to go away now and 
 return in good time to make preparations for our journey 
 to Switzerland. Pirker and my maid remained in special 
 charge of me, and with them I was to travel in a few weeks' 
 time to Innsbruck to rejoin Frau von Friese. 
 
 Mr. and Mrs. Kaiser had leased the villa No. 1 attached 
 to the hotel to which they had applied for rooms, the 
 " Etablissement Wahliss." We took our meals at the res- 
 taurant of the establishment itself. It was the height of 
 the season when I arrived at Portschach. I never had 
 any great liking for the place from the first, and to-day 
 its memory is detestable to me. It was at the time of 
 which I am writing neither a cosy little summer resort, 
 
 281
 
 282 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 like Veldes for instance; nor an elegant spot, like Gmun- 
 den in particular; nor yet a gay and luxurious watering- 
 place, such as people flock to in the summer. It was noth- 
 ing special, but set up to be grand. The people there 
 dressed themselves much with no reason for doing so. 
 The amusements were forced and hollow. Everybody in 
 the place knew everybody else, but they were of such dif- 
 ferent social ranks that no one really was on intimate 
 terms with his neighbour. The principal distraction was 
 the lake, which was certainly delightful for swinmciing and 
 boating. Then there was bicycling, which was at that 
 time much in vogue. I learnt to ride there, and we used 
 to spend the mornings in the water and the afternoons on 
 the bicycle — a vehicle which I loathed from the moment 
 I first mounted it. I loved horse-riding too much ever to 
 have any sympathy for this mechanical sport. 
 
 And now I have arrived at the most terrible and tragic 
 moment of my life. My mother, my darling, adored 
 mother, went from me for ever! 
 
 It was a cool, grey day in September — that is to say, 
 I cannot be certain if the weather was grey and the sky 
 overcast or not ; but it is grey and gloomy in my memory. 
 
 Nor can I say how we spent the day. My foster-father 
 was in Vienna, and I was alone with his wife and daugh- 
 ter. We were going home to the villa after supper. It 
 was, I suppose, getting on for nine o'clock. On the way 
 back we met one of the servants of the establishment, who 
 cried out to us, " Have the ladies heard the dreadful 
 news? " 
 
 " No; what has happened? " we all asked. 
 
 " The Empress has been assassinated I " 
 
 Had he at that instant plunged a dagger into my heart.
 
 THE HAND OF FATE 283 
 
 the agony could not have been worse than what I ex- 
 perienced then. My throat felt as though someone were 
 strangling me. My temples roared, and the ground 
 imder my feet rocked like the waves of the sea. I remem- 
 bered no more until I found myself in my bedroom. 
 Laura told me afterwards that with a great effort I 
 managed to walk to the villa. I myself recall that when 
 I entered my room it seemed to me dimly lighted ; and then 
 I lost consciousness. Oh, why had I to wake again — 
 to wake with an awful awakening, which has ever since 
 that moment been like a ghastly nightmare to me? 
 
 So all was over. This was the last act of my happy, 
 simny youth. My mother had gone from me for ever. 
 My darling one, farewell! 
 
 It requires an almost superhxmian eflPort to describe this 
 period of my life. To do so I have to re-live every min- 
 ute of it, and that is a martyrdom which no one can realise. 
 
 Only after several hours did I recover from my swoon ; 
 that is to say, I opened my eyes, but I was unable to move. 
 My head was burning as with red-hot irons. The doctor 
 was fetched, and bags of ice were applied. After this I 
 must have fallen asleep. It was the next morning that 
 the real awakening came. I remember I unclosed my 
 eyes and found myself alone. The dreadful truth flashed 
 upon my mind again. My darling mother had gone from 
 me for ever. Not knowing what I did, I screamed out 
 "Mother!" Then, breaking into pitiful sobs, I buried 
 my face in my pillows. 
 
 Laura, who was in the adjoining room, heard my cry 
 and hurried to my bedside. She was very kind, and 
 threw her arms about me, and I, without the strength to 
 resist, let her do as she wished. 
 
 Everyone in the place tried to comfort me and to bring
 
 284 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 a little calm to me. But their words almost drove me 
 mad, and in order to rid myself of them I would not 
 answer at all, and remained motionless in the bed. In 
 fact, I felt quite unable to weep in any person's presence. 
 It seemed to me like a profanation to share my grief with 
 anyone else. This obstinate silence on my part had at 
 last the effect of making those about me fear for my 
 reason. Dr. Fischer, who was attending me, ordered 
 them to let me stay in bed some little time, as he was 
 afraid of brain fever. So I remained thus for several 
 days, almost without moving. 
 
 One morning, however, they brought me a letter from 
 Frau von Friese, after having debated for a time whether 
 they ought to give it to me or not. They had finally de- 
 cided to do so, in the hope that it might have a good effect 
 and also help to put life into me. 
 
 " My poor, dear child," Frau von Friese wrote. " A 
 dreadful misfortune has befallen you, my poor child. But 
 you must know that, at this moment of the utmost anguish 
 and suffering, you will show the most respect for the 
 memory of your dear dead mother if you exhibit courage, 
 patience, and dignity in bearing the heaviest blow that 
 Fate could possibly deal you. Remember always what 
 she used to expect of you. Remember that you are her 
 daughter, and that you must show yourself worthy of 
 her. Remember, too, the nobility with which she bore all 
 her sorrows, and remembering this it will be easier for you 
 also to bear up against all the miseries of this life. 
 
 *' How dreadful it is for me to be prevented, even for a 
 short time, from coming to you, it is unnecessary for me 
 to say. But it will not be long now, only a few days more, 
 my poor child, before I shall be able to hold you once 
 again in my arms. I am the only person (may I say?)
 
 THE HAND OF FATE 285 
 
 who can be to you a little of that one who has been torn 
 away from you so cruelly. Great changes may soon come 
 to you; but in all circumstances of life you will remember 
 where you can find the heart that bears for you the most 
 motherly love in this lonely world. 
 
 " Courage, my brave girl! Think of the one who now 
 looks down from heaven upon you, and who is so much 
 happier than we." 
 
 Until the time when I read this letter I had not even 
 made an effort to take in ideas. A terrible gloom had 
 reigned over me, robbing me of all my strength. Now, 
 for the first time since my blow, I had another feeling than 
 that of anguish alone. Unconsciously I had been wait- 
 ing for Frau von Friese, and I was disappointed that she 
 had not come. But in spite of this her kind words aroused 
 me a little. I could not read between the lines, or else I 
 should have known that what she was saying to me was in 
 reality her own eternal farewell. 
 
 For a moment I could see quite vividly the dear sad 
 eyes of my mother, and she was saying again to me that 
 which she had so often said to me before: "Babe, be 
 reasonable." 
 
 At this remembrance, for the last time I burst into 
 tears. But as soon as that was over, forcing myself to 
 activity, I rose from my bed. When those about me 
 wished to prevent it, I said: ** Let me go into the open 
 air. It will do me good." 
 
 Then I begged Laura to row me over to the other shore 
 of the lake, to Maria Worth. This is a quaint httle place, 
 with a very old church standing at the back, and on an ad- 
 joining hill is the churchyard, overlooking the quiet blue 
 lake. Several times before I had been there and had
 
 286 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 thought how beautiful it would be to be laid there one day 
 for my last eternal rest. Now I was standing here again, 
 not to be buried myself, but to bury the golden time of 
 my youth. 
 
 One never has the consciousness of one's life as a single 
 and complete whole. At first one develops vigorously 
 and pushes on to the height of one's physical and mental 
 powers ; but before ever that is reached one begins slowly 
 to die. This day in the churchyard my death began. 
 
 My struggles, however, were only just at their com- 
 mencement. Above all I wished to hurry back to Vienna. 
 I wanted to see Her once more, for the very last time. 
 But this could not be allowed. For one thing, I had not 
 the physical strength to travel to Vienna. And besides 
 how could I go, like some mere stranger, to her bier ? On 
 the other hand, it was impossible at that moment to make 
 any special arrangements for me. The dreadful truth 
 almost drove me mad. All my pride rebelled at the idea 
 that I was not able at once to communicate with my rela- 
 tives. 
 
 At this time my foster-father, who had arrived in 
 Portschach again a few days after the tragedy, came 
 closer to my heart than any of them, and his presence did 
 the most to calm me. With deep gratitude I look back 
 on the memory of this old man — he was very old then, 
 about seventy, and quite broken down with grief too — 
 as, with the utmost earnestness he could command, he 
 tried to make me reason properly. 
 
 " For the sake of your mother, my dear child, you 
 must endure it. You cannot make any trouble at this 
 time." 
 
 These words of his were the wisest thing he could have 
 said. Yes, for mother's sake I must endure it.
 
 THE HAND OF FATE 287 
 
 And yet what more cruel and inhuman Calvary can be 
 conceived than is conveyed in this sentence, The child 
 may not weep out her grief for the loss of her mother, nor 
 bid her a last farewell? 
 
 Amid all this of which I have been telling, it could not 
 remain hidden from me that my foster-parents were really 
 placed in a very awkward position. At first it was given 
 out that I had met with an accident, that I had taken an 
 overdose of morphine, intended to relieve a cough I had. 
 But, afterwards, what excuse could be found for mj^ ex- 
 traordinary grief? Why should I suddenly have become 
 a hater of the world? Yet it would have been absolutely 
 impossible for me to meet anybody. 
 
 When the first week had passed by, I began to be better 
 able to understand the position. The last thing I wished 
 was to be the slightest burden to anyone. My soul re- 
 volted at such a thought, and so I begged Laura to talk 
 as much as possible to me, that I might have practice in 
 learning to dissemble my feelings. With my own feet I 
 wished to trample upon my heart. And little by little 
 I succeeded. 
 
 I think I must actually have gone off my head for a 
 time. In the presence of strangers I had never been as 
 highspirited as then; for, of course, it was impossible to 
 hold the balance properly. To those about me this state 
 of mind seemed a happy deliverance. Had they not been 
 — how shall I express myself properly? — so inexpe- 
 rienced in matters of grief, they would not have accepted 
 the sacrifice. 
 
 After all was over we went back to Vienna. Vienna I 
 how terrible, how awful it was! I really did not live 
 then. It was a sort of evil dream; otherwise it would 
 have killed me.
 
 288 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 Naturally I resided with Mr. and Mrs. Kaiser, but this 
 in itself mattered nothing, it had happened so often be- 
 fore. The household in the Strohgasse was kept on for 
 a time. I had insisted upon that. Was I not waiting 
 for Frau von Friese, who would then take steps with me 
 for securing my recognition? No one spoke about this 
 matter, nor did I speak to anyone. I preferred that none 
 but she should interfere in these affairs. 
 
 About a week after our return to Vienna I was told 
 that Frau von Friese had suddenly become so ill that she 
 could not come back at once. A short letter was shown 
 to me from her relatives, giving the bad news and saying 
 that she was not even able to write herself. What could 
 I do? This was one blow upon another. My darling 
 mother had gone from me for ever. Was my guardian, 
 too, going for ever? It seemed as if some di-eadful fate 
 held me fast in its grip. With perverse, almost fiendish 
 cruelty to myself, I laughed at my misfortunes. 
 
 The weeks went slowly dragging on. From time to 
 time letters came from Denmark, saying that the physi- 
 cians believed that Frau von Friese had cancer. One 
 morning in December I was sitting at the piano, playing 
 with the same lack of interest that I now showed in every- 
 thing else. Purposely I had devoted myself to music, 
 because every tone of it almost was as a new wound to my 
 heart. Music was always to me the most sublime influ- 
 ence that there is in the world. Every melody conveys 
 its own story; and now the sadder it made me the more 
 I loved it. 
 
 As I have said, it was one morning in December. ]\Irs. 
 Kaiser came into the room, but I paid no attention to her, 
 as she often used to come and go. So she had to speak 
 to me to attract my notice.
 
 THE HAND OF FATE 289 
 
 " Lily," she began, " I have had some very sad news, 
 especially for you." 
 
 I stopped playing, and looked at her. It was needless 
 for her to say any more. I knew she was bringing me 
 intelligence of Frau von Friese's death. But as I re- 
 mained silent she continued : " Poor Frau von Friese is 
 dead." 
 
 It may seem incredible, but I said nothing. I only 
 stared at Mrs. Kaiser for a moment and then, as if noth- 
 ing had happened, I went on playing. 
 
 Mrs. Kaiser had expected a violent outburst. She 
 gazed at me in amazement. Next, thinking what she had 
 so often thought before, that I had gone mad, she asked 
 in a low voice: *' Lily, did you hear me? " 
 
 " Yes," I replied. It was all I had the energy to say; 
 but I continued at the piano. Shaking her head, she left 
 the room. For a few minutes I played on convulsively, 
 and only when I knew that I was alone again did my 
 hands drop slowly from the instrument to my knees. 
 
 I had lost the last thing that was dear to me on this 
 earth. 
 
 As when at night, on some lonely road, the last light 
 suddenly goes out and plunges the belated wanderer in 
 profound darkness, so it was with me now. 
 
 My poor beloved Aya, not one tear did I shed for you. 
 My tears were exhausted; I could cry no more.
 
 CHAPTER XXVI 
 
 ALONE IN THE WORLD 
 
 After the shock of the news of my dear Frau von Friese's 
 death, I seemed suddenly to enter upon a totally new 
 life. So long as my two loved ones lived I had no right 
 to dispose of my future ; but now it was different. I had 
 no right to stand still. I had but existed until now, hence- 
 forward I must act. 
 
 So finally one day, as I was sitting with Mrs. Kaiser 
 in her room, I said to her, *' I really think that it is time 
 for me to do something." 
 
 " What do you mean by doing something? " she in- 
 quired. 
 
 " What do I mean? Why, to get in touch with my 
 relatives, to remind them that I am in the world." 
 
 " But why this hurry? " asked Mrs. Kaiser. " Is there 
 anything more you want here? Have you anything to 
 complain of ? " 
 
 " I am not complaining," I answered, somewhat an- 
 noyed, " but I do not think anything you can do is suf- 
 ficient to compensate me for the loss of what I am expect- 
 ing." 
 
 " You are a fool! " cried Mrs. Kaiser, all of a sudden 
 growing angry. " Go, then, and make a scandal. They 
 will soon know how to shut your mouth. They will put 
 you into an asylum or a convent. Please leave me alone, 
 and don't bother me with your complaints." 
 
 290
 
 ALONE IN THE WORLD 291 
 
 Though inwardly I rebelled at her tone, I kept silence; 
 for I knew that when she lost her temper it was useless 
 to argue with her. But that did not prevent me from tak- 
 ing advantage of the first opportimity to reopen the sub- 
 ject. This time Mrs. Kaiser seemed better prepared. 
 She maintained her calm, and said that she had spoken 
 about the matter to her husband, and that they were both 
 of the opinion that, so long as my relatives took no steps, 
 it would be dangerous for me to do so on my part. Then 
 she asked, quite gently, " Don't we do all we can to 
 make you happy? " 
 
 When she spoke like this, my mood grew softer, and I 
 began really to think myself ungrateful. I recognised 
 that the Kaisers did their, best for me, and were exceed- 
 ingly kind. In fact, they made little difference between 
 Laura and myself. An outsider might merely have sup- 
 posed that Laura was rather the favourite of two sisters. 
 This means much, for it showed at any rate that they 
 treated me as a daughter whom they loved. 
 
 At first, then, Mrs. Kaiser's attitude impressed me. 
 Yet, after a short period of reflection, the old longing 
 came back upon me, and I went again for the third time 
 to speak to her on the subject. 
 
 " So you won't leave me in peace? " she exclaimed. " I 
 must explain matters more clearly, it seems." And now, 
 though perhaps unintentionally, she struck the death- 
 blow to all my hopes. 
 
 "I will tell you the truth bluntly," she continued. 
 " You are old enough to understand now, and perhaps 
 I shall have some peace when you have heard what I have 
 to say." 
 
 My heart beat faster and faster, and I felt my head
 
 292 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 beginning to swim. I knew that she was going to tell 
 me something dreadful. I have said before that she was 
 a woman who took no pains to soften her words. 
 
 " You know very well," she now said abruptly, " that 
 your mother and the Emperor never agreed. Is it any 
 wonder, then, that they went separate ways, and as far 
 as possible sought consolation elsewhere? " 
 
 At these words of hers I started as if bitten by a 
 snake. But immediately she overwhelmed me with her 
 speech. 
 
 " Now, don't try to play any comedy upon me. What 
 is the use of mincing matters? We are by ourselves. I 
 should never speak like this in the presence of others. 
 But I must make you understand now that you must keep 
 quiet for your mother's sake, if you don't want the story 
 to be in everybody's mouth." 
 
 And hereupon she laughed, as though to throw me some 
 grains of comfort by giving an air of frivolity to the whole 
 affair. 
 
 But I was unable to bear any more, and rushed out of 
 the room, feeling that I could dash my head against the 
 first wall. Oh, it was intolerable! Running to my own 
 room, I locked the door to prevent anyone from intruding 
 upon my grief. I threw myself on the bed, where so 
 often before I had lain gazing into space. For hours I 
 lay there now, trying to unravel the confused tangle of 
 my thoughts. My head was aching and burning fu- 
 riously, my breast was heaving in a suffocation of dry sobs. 
 And then at last, after so many months, the tears began 
 to roll down my cheeks again; at first slowly, then in 
 floods. Taking from under my pillow the pictures of my 
 two dear dead ones, I whispered to them: " If only once 
 more I might talk to you, I could bear it all I "
 
 ALONE IN THE WORLD 293 
 
 From this day onward no one ever heard me speak 
 of them again. They were my two patron saints, to 
 whom I addressed my prayers, to whom I miburdened my 
 whole heart. Yes, my saints — for suddenly I realised 
 that they had both lost their hves for my sake, that my 
 presentiment had been justified, that a trap had been laid 
 for them, a trap into which they both had fallen ; that the 
 Anarchist who had killed my mother had only been a tool 
 in the hands of more skilful murderers,^ and that my Aya 
 had also to disappear because she was a second mother to 
 me. 
 
 Nobody, I resolved, should ever have the chance to 
 speak to me of them until I could justify them. I for- 
 bade the members of the household to speak to me of my 
 mother, and I endeavoured, as far as possible, not to hear 
 the banal remarks which strangers made about the late 
 Empress. 
 
 To those who did not know me it might easily seem that 
 I harboured a feeling of resentment and blamed her for 
 my misfortune. But it was not so. Never for a moment 
 did I find the slightest stain in her. Yet, young and in- 
 experienced as I was, I knew enough of the meanness and 
 wickedness of mankind, and I knew that at this time I 
 was too weak to fight; that if I wished to fight I had to 
 live, and if I wished to live I had to be dumb until the 
 hour of my deliverance had come. 
 
 1 A curious fact in connection with Luccheni, my mother's assassin, de- 
 serves mention. In the year 1910 a commissioner from the United States, 
 making a tour of prisons in Europe, paid a visit to Luccheni at Geneva and 
 found him in a pleasant room overlooking the lake, passing his life in an 
 agreeable manner, working at his prison-trade of bookbinding no more than 
 he desired, and allowed a pint of wine and plenty of cigarettes every day. 
 His room was furnished with a number of pictures, including those of the 
 Emperor and Empress of Austria! In consequence of the commissioner's 
 visit, all this became publicly known. A few weeks later — in October. 1910 
 — it was officially reported that Luccheni had gone totally insane, and had 
 hanged himself in his cell. But there were many who believed that he had 
 been secretly released.
 
 294 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 I had almost forgotten to mention an old friend of mine 
 — poor dear old Pirker. 
 
 After all was over, I had finally to consent to break up 
 my home in the Strohgasse. Pirker until then had 
 watched over it. Can it be realised what this meant to 
 the old man, this destruction of all his golden hopes, one 
 after another, this entire disappearance of a home where 
 every little object, every little corner, was a cherished 
 remembrance? And what of the manner in which the 
 break-up of the establishment was carried out — the lack 
 of respect for the dead to whom it really belonged; the 
 lack of pity for the child whose rightful home it was ; and, 
 last but not least, the lack of consideration for the faith- 
 ful servant whose heart was almost broken? 
 
 One day in January, 1899, a maid who had shortly be- 
 fore entered Mrs. Kaiser's service called me into the draw- 
 ing-room. An old gentleman wished to speak to me, she 
 said. I entered the room apprehensively. Who could 
 it be? 
 
 Pirker! He had finished his task, and had come, so to 
 speak, to receive his dismissal from me personally. 
 
 Poor old man I He could not utter a word. He, who 
 all his life long had understood so well how to banish 
 every expression of emotion from his sphinx-like features, 
 now lost all control over himself. 
 
 I can picture him still standing there in front of me, 
 both his hands encased in brown kid gloves, helplessly 
 holding on to his hat and fingering the brim, while he 
 desperately fought with himself to avoid taking out his 
 handkerchief. But he fought in vain ; for at last the tears 
 were not to be kept back any more and came rolhng down 
 his poor old withered cheeks. 
 
 As for me, what recollections the poor old man was
 
 ALONE IN THE WORLD 295 
 
 awaking in me I I could imagine, for a moment, that I 
 was awaiting with him her return from a long journey, 
 when he always had a cheerful greeting from her. But 
 this time she was not coming back, and as I awoke to a 
 realisation of this fact my eyes too ran over with tears. 
 So we both cried together like two wretched shipwrecked 
 beings — as we really were. 
 
 Then the old man, looking about him as if the very 
 walls had ears and eyes, took out of his pocket a little 
 book. 
 
 "A prayer-book,'* he stammered; "a little remem- 
 brance from a faithful servant," and, lowering his voice 
 still more : " You must hide it at once carefully. Trust 
 nobody. Some valuable documents are hidden in it." 
 
 Almost kneeling, he caught my hand and pressed upon 
 it a fervent kiss before he whispered: " Farewell, Impe- 
 rial Highness, farewell!" 
 
 Dragging his feet slowly one after the other, he left 
 me. I stood gazing after him for a time. He, too, had 
 gone away from me; and I felt that soon this faithful old 
 friend would be out of my life for ever.
 
 EPILOGUE 
 
 The chief interest of this book for the reader perhaps 
 ceased when the story reached the point of my mother's 
 death. I do not, therefore, propose to prolong the de- 
 tailed accomit of my life beyond that terrible period, and 
 for the completion of my story shall content myself 
 simply with telling briefly what happened to me there- 
 after. But it seems to me that I am bound to narrate the 
 principal events which happened to me between that time 
 and the present day, in order to explain why I have waited 
 so long as sixteen years before revealing my secret. 
 
 As I have said in the last chapter, after Mrs. Kaiser's 
 awful revelation of how the world looks on such situations, 
 my courage gave place to the deepest despair. Dearly as 
 it cost me, I forced myself to hold my peace. I had been 
 placed, with diabolical skill, in a position from which 
 escape was impossible. 
 
 How could I — the child loved beyond belief by a 
 mother as good as she was noble — how could I speak out 
 and proclaim to the world the truth which was choking 
 me, when the world, in its pitiless malice, would soil with 
 the worst suspicions the story that I had to tell of a life 
 of inconceivable tenderness and self-sacrifice, built upon 
 the ruins of a shattered youth? No, I must necessarily 
 bow to the law of silence which had been imposed upon 
 me, and bury my secret in the depths of my soul, perhaps 
 to the very day of my death. I must not breathe a word, 
 my mouth being closed by respect for the memory of my 
 dear dead one, who had been followed to the grave by the 
 
 296
 
 EPILOGUE 297 
 
 veneration of the whole world. For me it was necessary 
 to forget who I truly was, to renounce my own individu- 
 ality as it were, to sacrifice myself entirely, without bit- 
 terness and without regret. At the thought that it was 
 for her that I was abandoning all my hopes, I felt myself 
 rewarded by the sensation of a new and closer approach 
 to her. 
 
 As I did not deign to confide my resolutions to those 
 about me, the new direction of my ideas remained un- 
 known. Very little attention was paid to me apparently, 
 and to outward seeming I was left quite free; but in 
 reality I was a prisoner under the strictest control. I 
 never went out alone. There was nothing unnatural 
 about this, of course, for a young girl in the society in 
 which I lived. But also I was prevented from speaking 
 to anyone, whoever it might be, without being under close 
 observation. Mr. Kaiser, or else his wife, opened all my 
 letters before passing them on to me. I did not have 
 a single drawer which I could lock up and keep to my- 
 self. Wherever I went, the Police-commissioner Windt 
 haunted me. Just at first I attached very little impor- 
 tance to his presence; but when I found out that he was 
 everywhere on my tracks, and that he followed me even 
 on a journey, I was forced to realise the significance of 
 this perpetual shadowing, and I knew that I was less for- 
 gotten in high places than I had supposed. 
 
 Although this perpetual supervision was in many ways 
 very irksome to me, it failed to provoke me to rebellion. 
 On the contrary, I was absolutely resigned to remain in 
 the eyes of the world a Miss Kaiser. This captivity of 
 mine was to me only a continuation of my existence of 
 old. I found in it, as it were, a consoling proof of the 
 bond which could not be broken between my past and my
 
 298 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 present life. And, besides, there is nothing in the way 
 of misfortunes which cannot be borne by those who have 
 firmly resolved to be patient. Had I not been through 
 all my childhood kneeling in contemplation of the most 
 noble example of patience which the world had ever seen? 
 
 So two long years passed, outwardly full of calm, in- 
 terrupted only by the foolish distractions of the life of 
 Society. At rare intervals I abandoned myself to a pro- 
 found melancholy, especially on the morrow of some big 
 social function, when it was borne in on me with bitter- 
 ness how day by day I travelled farther from the happy 
 time when I had a mother of my own, and how now I 
 became day by day more completely the daughter of Mr. 
 and Mrs. Kaiser. No one can imagine what a terrible 
 struggle I had then to prevent my own personality com- 
 ing to the surface. 
 
 " I must, I must," I would say to myself ; and it was 
 with a never failing determination that I strove to punish 
 myself for my weaknesses by forcing myself harder than 
 ever to keep up the fiction which was so hateful to me. 
 My efforts, however, received not the slightest encourage- 
 ment from those with whom I lived. 
 
 Mr. Kaiser was growing very old. He was beginning 
 to be wearied out by the perpetual efforts which he had to 
 make to keep his wife within the bounds of simplicity and 
 economy, upon which he had always insisted. As a mat- 
 ter of fact, up to now there had been a certain strictness 
 about the household of Mr. Kaiser. He demanded that 
 we should dress ourselves very simply. Our distrac- 
 tions were kept within rigid limits. But as Laura 
 grew towards womanhood she got more and more influ- 
 ence over her mother, and through her over Mr. Kaiser 
 also. The appearance of their drawing-room gradually
 
 EPILOGUE 299 
 
 altered. Every fortnight there was a big party. Young 
 people, of the idle class whose members are found in all 
 the drawing-rooms of Society, came in numbers to their 
 house. There would be about forty people at a time. It 
 did not take me long to know them, and the knowledge 
 engendered a profound dislike for their company. From 
 this time onwards there grew up a discord of a lasting 
 kind between Laura and myself. She, quite unlike me, 
 took great delight in this society. While I sought rather 
 the friendship of quiet and serious girls, Laura was car- 
 ried away by her sympathy with those who loved to plunge 
 wildly into the social whirl. It seemed to me that our 
 good name might suffer through such companions, and 
 this was a matter to which I was not indifferent. We 
 squabbled continually on this point. 
 
 Mr. Kaiser died suddenly on May 30, 1901. He was 
 found that morning in his bed, apparently still asleep; 
 but they could not wake him, and, in fact, he had ceased 
 to breathe. 
 
 This was a more serious loss for me than I was able to 
 conceive at first. If he had not tried — or, I should 
 rather say, if he had not been able — to do anything on 
 behalf of my claims, at least he had been a real protector 
 to me against the daily perils of life. His death, there- 
 fore, was bound to bring about considerable changes in 
 the conditions of my existence. Mrs. Kaiser and her 
 daughter were not slow to change their attitude toward 
 me. In spite of all my efforts to conform myself to their 
 constantly changing conduct, I clearly felt that my pres- 
 ence in their circle had the effect of a killjoy, and that 
 decidedly I was a nuisance to them. 
 
 I had already foreseen how Laura's reputation would 
 be affected, and constantly asked myself how I should
 
 300 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 act in defence of my own. For sooner or later, passing 
 as I did for Laura's sister, and seen in her company all 
 the time, I could not escape being involved in the unfa- 
 vourable opinion which she must arouse against herself in 
 the end. 
 
 I could not think of getting permission to go on some 
 trip with a lady to accompany me, nor even of going 
 away to some finishing-school. There was no way out of 
 this false situation for me except marriage. But since 
 my affair with Ferdinand Fellner I had an invincible dis- 
 taste for all men. 
 
 Besides, it seemed to me impossible after this to fall 
 in love again; this feeling disposed of the only possible 
 solution. And then the majority of the young men who 
 paid any attention to me inspired me with no esteem. One 
 among them, however, managed to arouse in me some in- 
 terest. This was the son of the Court Councillor Kiih- 
 nelt, Richard Kiihnelt, Doctor of Laws, who was at this 
 period a lieutenant in the cavalry. He was a well-edu- 
 cated young man, and seemed to be of a thoroughly seri- 
 ous character. He had lost his father the same summer 
 that I lost my mother, and the blow seemed also one which 
 he could not get over. His state of mind, so like my own, 
 made him very sympathetic to me — although, of course, 
 he did not know in the slightest that I was mourning a 
 beloved mother, and thought me really a Miss Kaiser. 
 
 Laura felt toward him a strong aversion, which did not 
 fail to commend him still more to me. Mrs. Kaiser, al- 
 though she detested him, did her best to encourage our 
 meetings. I was far from di'eaming that he would one 
 day be my husband. If Mr. Kaiser had lived but a few 
 years longer, this young man would have passed through 
 my life, like many others who were indifferent to me,
 
 EPILOGUE 301 
 
 without leaving a single trace behind him. But, as it waSj 
 hardly had Mr. Kaiser gone when Mrs. Kaiser began to 
 think how she might get rid of me. What I am about 
 to tell may perhaps seem extraordinary, but it is the sim- 
 ple truth, the narration of which could only surprise those 
 who were still ignorant of the history of my hfe. 
 
 Scarcely two weeks after the death of Mr. Kaiser, some 
 foolish quarrel having broken out between Laura and my- 
 self, Mrs. Kaiser said to me: " This Hfe is going to be 
 simply unendurable. Things can't go on like this. You 
 had better try to make some arrangement for your future ; 
 for you must understand that you can never get on with 
 us, that you will never really be one of us." 
 
 The same afternoon she took me, to my great surprise, 
 to pay a visit to Mrs. Kiihnelt, the mother of Richard. 
 
 There, without having given me the slightest warning 
 of her intentions, she said to her pointblank: " I believe, 
 Madame, that your son is in love with my daughter Lily. 
 Would it not be a good thing to fall in with their wishes 
 at once and agree to their engagement?" 
 
 I must confess that my astonishment was nothing com- 
 pared with that of Mrs. Kiihnelt. 
 
 As for the son, who was there, as if by accident, I had 
 a vague notion that he was perhaps in league with Mrs. 
 Kaiser, and that in any case he had been warned of her 
 untimely and uncalled-for behaviour. He took hold of 
 my hand and turned upon me a look which conveyed en- 
 treaty quite as much as embarrassment, stammering out 
 a few words which I could not understand. 
 
 A profound feeling of pity came over me. I knew that 
 his mother was a woman of very difficult character, and I 
 had not the courage to oppose a scheme upon which all 
 his happiness seemed to depend. I do not believe that I
 
 302 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 uttered a single word during the course of this extraor- 
 dinary visit. 
 
 My amazement had been so great that I remained for 
 long hours plunged in a curious state of mind, without 
 any definite thought or any particular wish. It was not 
 until the next day that I became mistress of myself again. 
 And then I thought that all that had happened was no 
 doubt for the best. I felt that it was perfectly useless to 
 rebel against the force of circumstances. Nevertheless 
 it was not without a terrible aching of my heart that I 
 determined to let myself drift. In agreeing to become 
 the wife of Richard Kiihnelt, must I not renounce for ever 
 my hope of establishing the rights of my birth and realis- 
 ing my mother's dearest wish? It was not without diffi- 
 culty that I succeeded in repressing the instinctive revolt 
 of my soul against this irremediable calamity. Certainly 
 if my poor mother had still lived I should never have 
 dreamt for an instant of uniting my lot with that of him 
 who was about to become my husband. But, of course, 
 he believed simply that he was marrying a Miss Kaiser, 
 whose social position was equal to his own. Therefore, 
 in marrying under this assumed name of Miss Kaiser, I 
 was going to bury all my hopes and all my rights. This 
 was the absolute end of a great ambition and of the ardent 
 desire which I had always cherished of dissipating the 
 heavy mystery which had surrounded my childhood. 
 
 I must look forward to the final sacrifice of my true 
 self; for it was clear that I could not possibly reveal to 
 Richard Kuhnelt, before our marriage, who I really was. 
 I must hide within the depths of my heart the anguish of 
 a renunciation which no one else could understand. 
 
 A few days after my engagement Mrs. Kaiser's lawyer. 
 Dr. Werner, who was also Mr. Kaiser's executor, in-
 
 EPILOGUE 303 
 
 formed me that I possessed a fortune of four million 
 crowns (£160,000), which my mother had left me. Up 
 to this moment I had not troubled my head at all about 
 the money questions which are involved in nearly all mar- 
 riages, and although I was totally ignorant of the value 
 of money such a discovery could not find me indifferent. 
 All my ideas were upset, life appearing less gloomy to 
 me, and the future holding out fair promise. My fiance 
 was very well educated, and while his talents were bound 
 to be helped greatly by his father's high reputation on 
 the one hand, on the other my fortune would aid him to 
 make more quickly a brilHant career. He would enter 
 upon diplomacy, and some day perhaps the secret of my 
 origin might even be revealed. On the whole, therefore, 
 my lot was not such a bad one. 
 
 Although I was not greatly attracted to my betrothed, 
 still I thought him well worthy of being loved, and this in 
 itself drew me to him. I wanted to make him happy, and 
 the wish, it seemed to me, should suflSice to bring me hap- 
 piness also. For is it not the principal object of life to 
 live for someone else and not for oneself? 
 
 Nevertheless, as time went on, I began to discover that 
 Richard Kiihnelt was far from being of so easy-going a 
 character as I had imagined at the beginning. I con- 
 fessed to myself that I had little understood his true na- 
 ture, and I was many times on the point of breaking off 
 the engagement and refusing to hear any more about it. 
 But how could that be done? If only Mrs. Kaiser's home 
 had really been mine, I should not have hesitated for a 
 moment. But it was impossible for me to stay any longer 
 with her and Laura. 
 
 I begged her not to hurry the wedding on, to wait a 
 little longer before deciding my future absolutely. She
 
 304 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 replied that she was in a hurry to have done with it, that I 
 was in the way, and finally that she had resolved to go to 
 spend the winter in Paris, where she would on no account 
 take me with her. Her daughter encouraged her to the 
 utmost of her power. Both of them treated me with such 
 harshness that I was forced to recognise that the cause of 
 this unkind behaviour was the weariness and exasperation 
 to which they had been reduced by the constant poUce su- 
 pervision involved by my presence with them. There is 
 indeed no doubt that this perpetual trouble had finished 
 by becoming a regular torture to them, and had decided 
 them to try to get rid of me at all hazards, so that they 
 might lead their lives for the future in peace. 
 
 I did not feel that I could condemn them completely. 
 On the contrary, I was inclined to make every possible 
 excuse for them when I considered that they had never 
 really suffered and were in consequence unable to realise 
 my sufferings. 
 
 The worst of all my sorrows was that I had not near 
 me a single friend whose advice I might take. Only one 
 vague hope remained in my heart, that my fiance, after 
 we had been married, would alter in character. Laura's 
 tiresome caprices furnished an explanation and an excuse 
 for his ill-humour. They would not trouble him any more 
 after our marriage, and as soon as he should have learned 
 of my sorrows he might become my best adviser and a 
 true friend to me. 
 
 The date of our wedding was fixed for January 26, 
 1902. But matters did not go quite smoothly yet. In 
 coming to the preliminary formalities I must furnish the 
 authorities with particulars about myself. For a time 
 I really thought that my marriage was impossible; and 
 it even seemed to me that the secret designs of Provi-
 
 EPILOGUE 305 
 
 dence had only placed me in so false a situation in order 
 to make me understand beyond all question the error 
 which I was about to make. But this idea was soon ban- 
 ished, for no sooner did the difficulty arise than a way was 
 found of surmounting it. As a matter of fact I had not 
 sufficiently taken into consideration the secret supervision 
 over every step I took. I had not reflected that those 
 who had succeeded in appropriating the authentic docu- 
 ments concerning my origin had also the power of fabri- 
 cating others, without fear, to furnish me with a false 
 identity. 
 
 However, it was not very easy to manufacture on the 
 spur of a moment a satisfactory certificate of baptism 
 whose date went back some twenty years — to 1882, to 
 be precise. But this was not too difficult for the astute 
 ingenuity of my persecutors. 
 
 Mrs. Kaiser, being a Dutch or English sectarian (I do 
 not know which), was forced to decide to become a con- 
 vert to Catholicism, and I, in the role of her supposed 
 daughter, must be converted at the same time, so as to be 
 able to marry a Catholic. Then, on the date of my con- 
 version, a register of baptism could be produced to take 
 the place of the papers necessary for mj^ marriage. It 
 was Mrs. Kaiser again who was entrusted with the whole 
 affair, with the aid of the Rev. Josef Pfob, the head in 
 Vienna of the order of St. Charles Boromeus; he was a 
 person very well known in the capital and popularly cred- 
 ited with being engaged in numerous intrigues. 
 
 An indescribable scene took place. Although every 
 nerve in my body throbbed with indignation, I succeeded 
 at first in maintaining an appearance of calm. I refused 
 pointblank to lend myself to such a farce, declaring that 
 I was a Catholic already, and that I could not go through
 
 306 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 a pretence of conversion. It was true that I might be 
 one who made little outward profession, but my soul was 
 too full of genuine religion to insult thus by a sacrilegious 
 imposture the worship in which I had been brought up. 
 I had been baptised a Catholic on coming into the world, 
 and no force should induce me to pretend a conversion 
 from Protestantism to Catholicism. 
 
 Now once more I was overwhelmed with threats of the 
 convent or the madhouse. But these terrible words no 
 longer frightened me. At last in my exasperation, I an- 
 swered curtly that they could put me where they wished, 
 even in hell itself, for nowhere, I was sure, should I have 
 so many miseries to suffer as were mine here. 
 
 This outbreak let loose upon my head a tempest of sar- 
 casm, and in her anger (I admit, very much provoked) 
 Mrs. Kaiser forgot herself so far as to strike me. As for 
 me, my persecutions had had such an effect upon me that 
 I was quite willing to contemplate the convent, and even 
 the lunatic asylum, as a haven of refuge. 
 
 But they imderstood perfectly that they dare not dream 
 for a moment of creating such a scandal just now. We 
 were so well known in Vienna society that my sudden dis- 
 appearance, on the eve of a wedding ceremony which 
 was looked forward to as a social event, would have 
 aroused a great sensation and furnished matter for never- 
 ending talk, and talk, too, of a malicious kind. It was 
 therefore necessary at all costs to escape from so danger- 
 ous a situation. A few days after the scene which I have 
 just described, I received a fresh visit from the priest. 
 But this time he was alone, and our conversation lasted 
 for more than an hour. He tried, by every possible 
 means, to make me abandon my first resolution. He em- 
 ployed every resource which he had, was amiability and
 
 EPILOGUE 307 
 
 kindness itself, but in vain. I remained immovable. In- 
 deed, as his benevolence toward me appeared to me sin- 
 cere, I confessed to him that, as far as I was concerned, 
 I was delighted with all that had happened; for if I hs- 
 tened only to my personal wishes, I was in no haste what- 
 ever to marry. iUpon these words, the old priest stopped 
 short, asserting that my marriage was a question which 
 could not be debated, and that the means would certainly 
 be found of establishing the necessary evidence. Before 
 taking his leave of me, he extracted from me a promise 
 that I would come to see him next day in the vestry of his 
 church. When the moment arrived, as I was attacked 
 by scruples against keeping the appointment made so 
 much against my will, Mrs. Kaiser found a way of over- 
 coming any repugnance. I let her take me to the priest, 
 thinking of course that such a step was one of no impor- 
 tance. In spite of this, the interview was interpreted by 
 Josef Pfob as an actual ceremony of baptism, and conse- 
 quently he obtained, unknown to me, the indispensable 
 document which gave me an entirely false civil status, but 
 a civil status nevertheless. It was only a few daj^s later, 
 when I saw matters rapidly advancing, that I understood 
 the abominable trickery which had been employed against 
 me. I refrain from any further comments upon this af- 
 fair, and leave it to my readers to pass upon it the judg- 
 ment which it deserved. 
 
 In the first days of my married life I came to realise 
 that I had not yet found happiness, and that my presenti- 
 ments, alas! had only been too true. It was not merely 
 the feeble glinmier of my last hopes which went out now, 
 it was all that remained of the sentimental illusions of my 
 youth that came to final and utter ruin. 
 
 Although, in accordance with the custom on the Con-
 
 308 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 tinent, I had seen my betrothed but rarely alone, still I 
 had imagined I could see that his mind and heart had not 
 remained total strangers to me. I knew him to be silent 
 and melancholy, but at least I imagined him sincere and 
 loyal. 
 
 Alas ! how tremendous was the shock to my heart when 
 I discovered my fatal error. On the day after the wed- 
 ding I thought to perform the most sacred of duties by 
 telling my husband my true story. But he stopped me at 
 the very beginning and asked me, in a haughty, ironical 
 tone, whether I was really so simple as to imagine that he 
 was unaware of my identity, and to suppose that he had 
 consented to marry a mere Miss Kaiser. He assured me 
 that he was sharper than that. 
 
 What a sentimental fool I had been! I had thought 
 that in marrying me he had but followed his own inclina- 
 tions. Suddenly I perceived, with great clearness, the 
 true reason for my instinctive hesitation to confide my 
 secret to him before marriage. 
 
 I had been continually held back by the apprehension 
 that our union might be prevented at the last moment. 
 The apprehension, I have said; but should I not rather 
 say, the faint hope? 
 
 And now I knew how little confidence I had in him to 
 maintain a reserve that was certainly prudent, but equally 
 as certainly uncalculated. This knowledge, coming late 
 in the day, at once assumed a capital importance in my 
 eyes. I saw what a mistake I had made in yielding to 
 any hopes of conjugal affection. I understood how blind 
 I had been, when, to excuse him, I attributed his sudden 
 outbreaks of ill-humour to the ungracious welcome given 
 him by Laura, my supposed sister, and interpreted his 
 taciturnity as the natural outcome of the wretched life he
 
 EPILOGUE 809 
 
 led with his mother and the genuine grief which he felt 
 over his father's loss. I had fancied that I appeared to 
 him in the light of a young and thoughtless girl, unshad- 
 owed as yet by the black wing of sorrow. How I had 
 erred when I tried to persuade myself that all would be 
 changed after our marriage, when he would know all, 
 would be sincerely sorry for the pain he had caused me by 
 his cross and disagreeable ways, and would become the 
 consoler, protector, and friend of whom I had so much 
 need. 
 
 These reflections brought to me the clear conviction 
 that I had only persisted in my resolve to marry him be- 
 cause of my certainty, as absolute as it was groundless, 
 that my revelation would bring about a radical change in 
 his attitude, a complete revolution in his ideas and affec- 
 tions. 
 
 So far from being realised, my fair dreams had only 
 lured me on to ruin. I had not been saved, but betrayed. 
 My husband suddenly appeared in my eyes as a monster 
 of egoism. What confidence could I have in him hence- 
 forth? Was he not the agent of my enemies, the executor 
 of the wishes of that invisible power which laboured in- 
 cessantly not only to keep from me my just rights, but 
 also to take away from me in this world all hope, however 
 modest, of joy and happiness? 
 
 I must admit that he did his best to conquer his sullen 
 humour and was successful at first. Perhaps the satis- 
 faction which his face seemed to express was sincere ; for, 
 after all, had he not succeeded in his designs? He told 
 me, indeed, that henceforward his career was assured, if 
 only I renounced my schemes and so avoided all scandal. 
 This confession, however, did but confirm my cruel cer- 
 tainty. It was perfectly clear that my marriage had been
 
 310 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 cleverly planned to reduce me to impotence. The hus- 
 band chosen for me was from one of those official fam- 
 ilies, every generation of which is brought up systematic- 
 ally on respect for the estabhshed order of things, and 
 educated in an atmosphere of traditional acquiescence; a 
 man ready to obey in all that was demanded of him, and 
 promising by the natural feebleness of his character that 
 he would say and do nothing that would give trouble; a 
 man, in fact, the very reverse of the chevalier sans peuVj 
 who is always ready to risk his life for the weak and op- 
 pressed. 
 
 Had it not been for the dreadful gulf between my hus- 
 band and myself, my existence might have been happy 
 enough. I was surrounded by material luxuries and com- 
 forts, and as I appeared to be ready to agree to a life of 
 self-suppression things were made as easy as possible 
 for me. 
 
 A great consolation came to me when I found that I 
 was about to become a mother. On November 17, 1902, 
 my son, Antony-Francis, was bom. This event gave a 
 new value to my life, creating a bond between my hus- 
 band and myself. We sat long, side by side, watching 
 the pretty pink, fair-haired baby on the white pillows of 
 his cot. We made magnificent plans together for his 
 happy future. 
 
 After all, at that period I had not much of which to 
 complain. I was pampered and spoilt. I had all that a 
 young society woman could desire, horses, carriages, serv- 
 ants, jewellery, clothes, etc. I began to entertain largely, 
 and my at-homes promised to become among the most 
 popular in Vienna. Not without intention, I chose my 
 new acquaintances principally among the families of the 
 members of Parliament belonging to the Polish party.
 
 EPILOGUE 311 
 
 Among my friends I numbered Mr. and Mrs. Bilinski, 
 and, above all, Mr. and Mrs. Abrahamovicz, who were 
 pre-eminent in that party. 
 
 The success of my entertainments was exceptional, con- 
 sidering how young a woman I was. But, if I myself 
 made new friends every day, the same was not true of my 
 husband. He gave himself too important airs for his 
 twenty-five years, and his sullen himaour was taken for 
 arrogance and vanity. 
 
 So two years passed. This pleasant existence, peace- 
 ful in spite of aU its distractions, was not destined to last 
 long. Soon a new catastrophe was to cast me upon a sea 
 of troubles to which I had hitherto been a stranger. 
 
 On the eve of my wedding. Dr. Werner, who on Mr. 
 Kaiser's death had been appointed my guardian, told me 
 that the control of my f ortime would be in my husband's 
 hands, as I was still a minor. At the period I knew little 
 about business — so little, indeed, that I considered it bad 
 taste for a girl to think of money matters. 
 
 I have been asked frequently since whether there was 
 not a marriage-contract between my husband and myself. 
 There was none; but at that time I had no idea how its 
 absence could affect my interests, nor even that such things 
 existed. 
 
 I therefore gave my husband full powers. I knew that 
 the proceeds of my fortune would sufiice amply for our 
 needs, and that was all I asked. I admit that this aloof- 
 ness from the practical side of life indicated in me a cer- 
 tain tendency toward frivoHty, for which my youth (I 
 was scarcely more than twenty) was but a poor excuse. 
 The blow was all the more brutally cruel when my hus- 
 band confessed to me, one fine day, that he had been spec- 
 ulating for several months past and had lost almost all
 
 812 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 that we possessed. His fault was all the more unpardon- 
 able because our income was fully sufficient. For the mo- 
 ment I could not see the consequences of so grave a mis- 
 take; but they were brought home to me vividly when I 
 was compelled to give up our expensive social activities, 
 and even to go without necessities. 
 
 Later I came to understand, although the truth only 
 dawned upon me gradually, that this new blow was dealt 
 me by the same pitiless enemies to whom I owed so much. 
 My relations with the Polish party had aroused the sus- 
 picions of the Court. No doubt it was feared that I might 
 create for myself a party in Austria, and that the weak- 
 ness of my husband might enable me so to dominate him 
 that, instead of thwarting my plans, he would range him- 
 self on my side. So little wisdom had he, alas I that he 
 had no idea that a trap was laid for him. Unfortunately, 
 he even thought himself a clever diplomatist, and often 
 his vain desire of making an effect led him to pass the 
 bounds of prudence in his speech. Perhaps, with the in- 
 tention of securing some tactical advantage, as it appeared 
 to him, he let slip something of which the echo sjjeedily 
 reached our enemies and threw them into a state of alarm. 
 So it was decided at Court that I must be completely 
 crushed ; the Austrian Court has exceedingly few scruples 
 in such matters. 
 
 They knew that if I were ruined and penniless I should 
 at once lose all support. They were perfectly well ac- 
 quainted with my husband's character. His vanity, 
 which made him consider himself more intelligent and 
 stronger than anyone else, was cleverly played upon to 
 lead him toward the temptation of speculation. He was 
 given to understand that by speculation he might gain 
 for himself a fortune sufficient to render him independent
 
 EPILOGUE 313 
 
 of his wife's. I have never been able to discover tHe 
 names of the people who enticed him along the dangerous 
 road. My husband was one of the least expansive of 
 men; he never spoke open-heartedly to me, and on this 
 subject above all others he pretended to wish to avoid 
 tedious explanations. 
 
 A short while before the catastrophe my husband had 
 bought a farm in the neighbourhood of Vienna, called 
 Kleinhart. This was now almost the only property which 
 was left to us. He had not, however, told me about the 
 purchase imtil the bargain had been completed, and it 
 had been made in his name, not mine. The whole prop- 
 erty was in a lamentable state of disrepair. Still it of- 
 fered us a last refuge, and as it was in close proximity to 
 Vienna, we could live there all the year round, while my 
 husband could at the same time go to his office every day. 
 
 At the first start, therefore, our situation did not seem 
 entirely desperate. But we were not allowed to cherish 
 such illusions long. Of course we had had no prepara- 
 tion for country life, and to put this tumble-down place 
 in a proper state would have needed hard work on the 
 part of a skilful and practical professional. My hus- 
 band again thought, in the new circumstances, that he had 
 the necessary ability ; and, as by law the property belonged 
 to him, I found myself perfectly helpless to correct by 
 any good sense that I had the wild ideas he held about the 
 restoration of a country estate. I must add that I was 
 scarcely in a condition to enforce my views, for I was in a 
 delicate state of health. 
 
 On December 6, 1904, my little daughter Elisabeth- 
 Marie-Christine saw the light of day. Poor child, she 
 was not welcomed with cries of joy like her brother. No 
 one congratulated us upon her entry into the world. Not
 
 314 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 a single mark of sympathy or attention came to us from 
 the brilliant society which so soon forgets those who have 
 ceased to shine. My maternal love, however, was all the 
 greater through my pity and indignation at this neglect. 
 
 Our position daily grew worse. For a whole year we 
 struggled in vain to recover ourselves. My husband 
 made blunder after blunder. Such gross stupidity and 
 such inability to learn might seem beyond belief ; but they 
 were, nevertheless, the causes of our final ruin. Any 
 small peasant could get the better of him, and he rapidly 
 earned over the countryside the reputation of a man whom 
 anyone could take in. Soon he was loaded with debts. 
 "Not having the courage and energy to face the situation, 
 he pretended to be ill and went to spend the winter at 
 Abbazzia, on the Adriatic coast, leaving me alone with our 
 troubles. The task was beyond my strength, and every 
 day I had to put up with cruel humiliations. At length 
 it became impossible for us to stay in Austria. Besides, 
 my husband was neglecting his official duties, and must 
 now give up all hopes of a brilliant career. Nothing re- 
 mained for us, therefore, but to quit our native land — 
 to quit that land which for so many years had been for me 
 a vale of tears, to escape from which was my sole desire. 
 
 In May, 1906, we left for Canada with our two chil- 
 dren, and their nurse, Fanny Latzlsperger. 
 
 I allowed myself to cherish the fond hope that there, 
 in totally new surroundings, escaping from the worry of 
 our debts and shaking off the conventions which in Aus- 
 tria forced us to continue ruinous expenses in order to 
 keep up appearances to the end, my husband might sum- 
 mon back his courage and with renewed energy might 
 provide for his family, in however modest a way. As for 
 myself, I would not shrink from the necessity of working
 
 EPILOGUE 315 
 
 if this were to be the price of regaining ease and happiness 
 in our home. 
 
 So as to avoid useless waste of money, we settled down 
 in the neighbourhood of Montreal, at Sault-au-Recollet, 
 where living was cheaper than in the midst of a city. But 
 before long affairs moved in a way that looked ill for the 
 revolution in Fortune's wheel for which I hoped. My 
 husband, who had obtained a post as interpreter with the 
 Canadian Pacific Railway Company sufiicing for our 
 modest needs, left it at the end of a few months to embark 
 upon the precarious career of a company promoter. He 
 dreamt of vast speculations, and wanted to float powerful 
 companies, in which he never succeeded because he never 
 had the smallest capital to start them on. All the while 
 I saw gradually melting away our last poor reserve of 
 money. 
 
 This went on for a year. Thanks to my never-ceasing 
 efforts, and by making sacrifices which were most painful 
 to me, I had for six years maintained appearances be- 
 tween us; for I wished above all, as a mother, that my 
 children might have peace at home if they had no other 
 joys. But now I saw myself faced by incalculable mis- 
 eries if I did not take some step at once. My love of my 
 children drove me no longer to preserve their father for 
 them, but to save them from his hateful treatment. He 
 had, in fact, grown brutal towards them, showing so little 
 feeling for them that at last he could not bear to have them 
 near him. As for me, he would have treated me as a total 
 stranger in the end, had he not seen the advantage of look- 
 ing on me rather as a faithful servant. 
 
 His outrageous attitude became so manifest that I un- 
 derstood that he had taken it up intentionally to drive me 
 to the point of seeking a separation. Or did he, perhaps,
 
 316 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 look forward to some more tragic solution? Whatever 
 his idea, he fell in at once with a suggestion which I made 
 to him, that we should each go our own way. He was to 
 pursue fortune on his own account, I must look after my 
 children's welfare with my own. 
 
 He left for New York on March 25, 1908. As for 
 me, in the company of the faithful Fanny Latzlsperger, 
 who refused to leave the children, I went to British Co- 
 lumbia, and settled in Vancouver, a city then only in its 
 infancy as regards time, but already in the full tide of 
 prosperity. 
 
 At this supreme crisis of my fate, when it appeared as 
 if I must have touched the very bedrock of misery, a new 
 harvest of young hopes sprang up within me. For the 
 first time after so many years of moral oppression, I felt 
 myself delivered from the fetters of wretchedness and 
 falsehood which had crushed my soul, and before me there 
 seemed about to open a future bright with happiness. 
 
 It was at first, however, a very difficult task to provide 
 for the material support of the four of us. It required, 
 if I may say so without unduly praising myself, an en- 
 ergy rare in women, and a courage hard for anj^one to 
 muster. In America, it is true, and especially out West, 
 it is thought no shame to be obliged to work for a liveli- 
 hood after having been accustomed to ease. Misery does 
 not exist for those who have the will to work. The first 
 months were painful, I admit. Many were the times 
 when I called back to mind that sewing-school, when amid 
 all the poor little daughters of the people I seemed to my- 
 self to be merely diverting myself with their toil, just as 
 one plays at soldiers. But nevertheless it was that little 
 game of soldiers which had taught me the way to extri- 
 cate myself now from what was in reahty a terrible bat-
 
 EPILOGUE 817 
 
 tie. It was truly some miraculous force which increased 
 my strength. I had a comforting assurance that I was 
 preparing the way for my decisive triumph, and that fate 
 had only been so harsh to me to make certain the path 
 of my futiu-e. 
 
 To-day, when the picture of my trials comes back to 
 my memory, it has lost much of its cruel vividness, and 
 to realise it I should be forced to live again in the same 
 atmosphere which was then about me. In that country, 
 seven years ago especially, it was impossible for a woman 
 to earn her bread by sewing. On the other hand, at this 
 time of the year — it was spring — it was no good to 
 think of teaching. So it was by no means easy to see 
 what to do. I had thought of hiring a house and sub- 
 letting the rooms; but I soon had to renounce this idea, 
 for I could not find a house and was glad to get rooms for 
 myself. I therefore resigned myself to taking a situation 
 as cook at the Yale Hotel, so as not to have to spend more 
 of the little money still left to me. After a short time, 
 when I felt myself more secure, I opened a small shop 
 for the sale of Viennese confectionery. Even in the Far 
 West the epicures can appreciate confectionery of this 
 kind. 
 
 In my circumstances my faithful Fanny was a very 
 great help to me, and I can honestly say that but for her 
 my life would have been infinitely harder. As it was, our 
 affairs went on better and better, and at the end of a few 
 months I was able to sell my little business at a good 
 price, which was all pure gain to me. This money was 
 the starting-point of the new fortime which I built up dur- 
 ing these years, thanks to lucky speculations in land, while 
 I provided for the daily needs of the household by giving 
 lessons in languages and the piano.
 
 318 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 This was certainly a time of hard toil. But it is the 
 period of my life upon which I look back with the great- 
 est satisfaction, not to say pride. It was then that I 
 learnt to have confidence in myself. It was then that I 
 came in closest contact with the realities of life, of which 
 I knew little up to then, and few women in my sphere can 
 ever know. And it was then, perhaps, that I developed 
 those fighting qualities which, helped by the serious in- 
 struction which was given to me in childhood, will make 
 of me one day, I hope, a fearless champion of the rights 
 of the poor oppressed, the counsellor of those who have 
 need of help. 
 
 My husband went back to Vienna a few months after 
 our separation. As he had quitted his post under gov- 
 ernment at the moment of our departure for America 
 without taking leave of his superior, his name had been 
 crossed off the official list. Nevertheless, on his return 
 he was at once reinstated, and a very short time after- 
 wards he came in for a promotion which, to say the least 
 of it, was unexpected. 
 
 In conformity with the rules of military discipline, my 
 husband should have asked for permission to leave his 
 regiment. This he failed to do, and, having made no 
 reply to the reiterated demands of the Austrian consul at 
 Montreal, he had been proclaimed a deserter. In spite 
 of this, on his return, instead of being visited with some 
 punishment as anyone else would have been, he was im- 
 mediately restored to his regiment with the rank of Heu- 
 tenant, and even had the rare privilege of being received 
 in audience by the Emperor. How can I help being con- 
 firmed, by this paradoxical treatment of my husband, in 
 the certainty that his conduct, though apparently as free 
 as it was blameworthy, was in reality but the result of his
 
 EPILOGUE 319 
 
 blind obedience to orders received from those over him, 
 and that he was in some measure no more than the docile 
 instrmnent of a concerted plan to ruin me? Was he 
 therefore rewarded for having executed his task so well? 
 However that may be, he certainly never again troubled 
 himself about my children or me. 
 
 Months passed by. I made in Vancouver some excel- 
 lent acquaintances, who gradually extended my circle. 
 As Vancouver was at this time a town of not more than 
 eighty thousand inhabitants, the better people in society 
 there were not so numerous that an addition to their ranks 
 ran any risk of being overlooked. In this milieu I re- 
 ceived general consideration — although, of course, my 
 true identity was unknown. It was now that I met him 
 who was destined to become my second husband, the 
 Count Zanardi Landi, who from the first moment showed 
 himself a most devoted friend to me. He was truly the 
 personification of the good fortune of my life. As brave 
 as he was energetic, he came to be for me the sure counsel- 
 lor whom I had always wanted. It was he who first made 
 it plain to me that since I had children I was not entitled 
 to renounce my rights, for one day when it would be too 
 late, they would be justified in reproaching me bitterly for 
 my neglect of my claims. 
 
 Besides, he argued, would my mother have wished me 
 to act thus? Had she dreamed for me of such a life as I 
 was leading, in obscurity and almost in unhappiness? 
 Surely respect for her memory must inspire me with 
 firmer resolution. I must try to inform my nearest rela- 
 tives of my existence and acquaint them to what a level 
 I had been reduced. I must enlighten the ignorance in 
 which they had been kept concerning me. 
 
 Consequently I decided first of all to write to the Em-
 
 320 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 peror. I addressed to him a letter dated October, 1908, 
 sending it under care of his private cabinet, and accom- 
 panying it with a portrait of myself. I took the precau- 
 tion of requesting the private cabinet to put my letter be- 
 fore the Emperor himself. 
 
 I received no reply — as indeed I had anticipated. An- 
 other urgent letter written by Count Zanardi Landi in 
 the December of the same year was equally left unan- 
 swered; as was one which I sent in March, 1909, to my 
 sister the Archduchess Marie- Valerie. As it was re- 
 ported that any letter addressed to the German Emperor 
 was bound to reach him, I took on myself to write to him 
 in the following September. I was not unaware, I may 
 say, that all these attempts at correspondence would be 
 without result. What could I hope with such feeble re- 
 sources as I had at my command? I was only too well 
 acquainted with the ways of Courts ; but I wished, in act- 
 ing as I did, to salve my conscience, so that it might not 
 be said against me that I had failed to take the necessary 
 steps. 
 
 I could not yet dream of proceeding to more drastic 
 and vigorous action. My lawyer, one of the best known 
 in Canada, advised me to avoid all scandal before obtain- 
 ing a divorce which should give me the custody of my 
 children. I could indeed easily be reduced to silence by 
 the mere threat of taking them away from me. Canadian 
 law being the same as English, and very strict as regards 
 divorce, I had recourse to the United States. But the 
 divorce, which secured to me the custody of the children, 
 could not guarantee that this would remain mine in Can- 
 ada or in Austria. I had now, however, the right to take 
 Count Zanardi Landi as my second husband. I spent 
 over a year on these proceedings without obtaining my
 
 EPILOGUE 321 
 
 great object, whicH was to give me absolutely and irrevo- 
 cably the possession of my children, who alone made my 
 life of any value. There remained but one way open to 
 me. Since in Austria recognition would be refused to 
 the divorce obtained in the United States, I could only 
 demand of the Austrian authorities that they should ar- 
 range a divorce in what manner they might think fitting. 
 But after a year of negotiation through the medium of 
 correspondence, we were convinced that I should get noth- 
 ing so long as I did not go to Austria myself. At first 
 this step was very distasteful to me. I found myself on 
 the horns of a painful dilemma. Either I must part from 
 my children during my visit to Europe, or I must expose 
 them to great dangers if I took them to Austria with 
 me. 
 
 I therefore made up my mind to go without them, my 
 dear, good Fanny assuring me that they should be as well 
 looked after as if I stayed with them myself. 
 
 On July 15, 1911, I started on my journey, accompa- 
 nied by my second husband, whose protection inspired me 
 with abundance of courage. Yet what grief I felt at the 
 moment of departure! Since my httle ones had come into 
 the world there had never been a separation between them 
 and me — and now I was going so far and for so long. 
 Only a mother can really understand the pang. But 
 anyone who realises that for years I had consecrated my 
 life to providing for them, and that my sole thought was 
 their future happiness, can perhaps form some idea of 
 the state of my mind when I left them to go to the other 
 end of the world in pursuance of my duty as a mother. 
 
 We reached London on August 1st, and made a stay of 
 three weeks there, because there was nothing useful to be 
 done in Vienna at a time of general holiday. From Lon-
 
 322 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 don we went on to Paris, and from there to Munich, where 
 we arrived on August 28th. 
 
 We proposed to stay for some time in Munich, whence 
 we might make excursions round the Lake of Starnberg. 
 On the very day after our arrival we went to Feldafing. 
 I was eager to see the place where my poor mother had 
 spent so many of her summers, where she had experi- 
 enced such deep joy and had also suffered so terribly. 
 We had only meant to stay one day at Feldafing, but an 
 imforeseen circumstance kept us there longer. By a co- 
 incidence which we had not had the slightest reason for 
 anticipating, at the hotel to which we went, the Hotel 
 Kaiserin Elisabeth, there was staying Queen Maria- 
 Sophia of Naples, my mother's sister. I felt that it was 
 incumbent on me to take full advantage of so favourable 
 an opportunity. Wishing to act with perfect correctness, 
 I thought that I must write in the first place to her sec- 
 retar}^, M. Barcelona. I begged him to come and see me, 
 wishing to have an interview with him. He replied to 
 me as follows : — 
 
 Feldafing, 6, 9, 11. 
 Madam, 
 
 I have just received your letter, and I hasten to pre- 
 sent my excuses if I cannot pay you a visit. 
 
 Her Majesty lives in great privacy, and is here incog- 
 nita, and I too, in consequence, am unable to visit anyone. 
 Please accept the assurance of my profound respect. 
 Your devoted servant, 
 
 Barcelona. 
 
 This answer showed me that I had done wrong not to 
 indicate the reason of my overture. It seemed to me, 
 therefore, to involve no loss of dignity if I explained to
 
 EPILOGUE 323 
 
 him in a second letter that I had only desired to see him 
 because I wished to ask of Her Majesty, through him, 
 the favour of being received by her, being the daughter of 
 a great friend of hers. This was his reply to my second 
 letter : — 
 
 JMadam, 
 
 I duly submitted to Her Majesty your request, but 
 the illustrious lady receives nobody whom she does not 
 know and can make no exception to this rule. I regret. 
 Madam, that I cannot render you this service and beg you 
 to believe that I am 
 
 Your devoted servant, 
 
 Barcelona. 
 
 This M. Barcelona was a man of no extraction, who 
 gave himself airs nevertheless. He took upon himself, 
 as I discovered later, to refuse my request without even 
 submitting it to his sovereign. 
 
 I might easily have approached my aimt in the course 
 of one of the many walks which she took all alone; but 
 my pride prevented me. I therefore decided to write to 
 her direct. On the morning of September 8th, while she 
 was engaged on the finishing touches of her toilet, I gave 
 my letter to her second valet, Marsala. Slipping a 
 twenty-mark piece into his hand, I begged him to take the 
 letter at once to its destination, which he did, under my 
 eyes. I watched him enter straight into the bedroom of 
 the Queen, who was seated in front of her toilet-table. 
 
 I waited all day long and the following day without 
 receiving an answer. I imagined that my fond relative 
 might be afraid that I was in distressed circumstances 
 and that my approach to her was made with the object 
 of begging for pecuniary assistance from her. In my
 
 324 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 very brief note I had simply asked her whether she was 
 aware of my existence and whether she would allow me 
 to speak to her. I wrote her a new letter, in which after 
 assuring her of my absolute disinterestedness I requested 
 no other favour than to be allowed to kiss the hand of the 
 sister of my much lamented mother. 
 
 I sent this second letter to her through the same me- 
 dium as the first. The date was September 10th. On 
 the previous evening I had been to see the parish priest 
 of Feldafing to ask him to have a Requiem mass sung on 
 the anniversary of the death of the Empress of Austria. 
 He stated that the 10th being a Sunday, he could not 
 have the Requiem mass before the 11th; and he added that 
 in deference to the sister of the deceased he must discover 
 whether she had not herself the intention of taking this 
 pious step. 
 
 On the night of the 10th, about nine o'clock, my aunt 
 sent for me to come to her rooms. I had been so much 
 on the watch all the day long that I was not particularly 
 surprised when Marsala the valet knocked at my door to 
 ask me to come at so late an hour. 
 
 As my bedroom was quite near the Queen's — she being 
 in No. 8 and I in No. 9 — it was perfectly easy for me to 
 slip into hers without being seen. 
 
 The first few minutes of the interview were marked by 
 an embarrassment which can be readily understood. I 
 strove to repress my deep emotion, while the Queen, to 
 hide hers, was extremely reserved in her manner. Never- 
 theless there was something about her which strangely 
 recalled my poor mother. My aunt's behaviour, appear- 
 ing to me a true family characteristic, instead of upsetting 
 me, had quite the opposite effect, and even attracted me. 
 Still I hid my real feelings, not wishing to be the first to
 
 EPILOGUE 325 
 
 abandon my reserve. In my opinion there is nothing in 
 the world more tiresome than that somebody, who is quite 
 ignorant of your sentiments, should overwhelm you with 
 professions of friendship and urge upon you the claims 
 of relationship. So I waited for my aunt to address the 
 first word to me. 
 
 Soon she said, refraining from either using my name or 
 calling me simply Madam: "I have received your let- 
 ters, which, I must confess, have disconcerted me, for the 
 person you claim to be is supposed to be no longer 
 aUve." 
 
 Her remarks, though they indicated in so brief a com- 
 pass so strong a distrust in me, failed to abash me. Did 
 they not show, after all, that she had been aware of my 
 existence? The sudden profound satisfaction caused by 
 this sent a rush of blood to my head. 
 
 " If your Majesty will only deign to listen to me," I 
 answered calmly, " I believe it will not be difficult to prove 
 my identity and to convince your Majesty thoroughly that 
 they deceived you when they said that the Empress Elisa- 
 beth's daughter was dead." 
 
 With a gesture of her hand she pointed out a chair 
 to me. 
 
 I began by asking whether she knew any details of my 
 life, since she seemed to know that I existed. She an- 
 swered with an affirmative nod of her head. Then, to 
 discover down to what point she had been able to follow 
 me, I asked whether she knew that I was married and had 
 two children. 
 
 She gave another nod of her head, accompanied by a 
 benevolent smile, which she could not repress. From that 
 moment the ice was broken. I plucked up my courage 
 and told her all.
 
 326 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 She was soon convinced that it would have been im- 
 possible for me, unless I were really her niece, to recall to 
 her so many minute details and mention so many circum- 
 stances that only her sister's daughter could know. 
 
 She knew that my husband had caused my ruin and 
 that we had left with our children for Canada. But there 
 her knowledge of my history ceased, for she had been 
 told that out there I had soon succumbed to a dangerous 
 disease of the throat. It must be confessed that while she 
 knew me to be alive she had never manifested much in- 
 terest in me; but I was perfectly well aware how difficult 
 it was for her to do anything against the express desire of 
 the Court, and on behalf of a niece with whom she was, 
 after all, unacquainted. 
 
 I had my children's pictures upon me, and I showed 
 them to her. She was struck by my little girl's resem- 
 blance to my poor mother, and by the Habsburg expres- 
 sion on my little boy's face. 
 
 I told her finally about my second marriage, and what 
 a faithful friend, what a brave champion I had gained 
 by it. 
 
 Before taking my leave of her I spoke to her about the 
 Requiem service for the next day, and she promised to 
 be present at it or at least to come to the church immedi- 
 ately after it. Then as I was about to depart she 
 stretched out her hands to me, and, with a smile full of 
 amiability, drew me towards her to embrace me. *' Until 
 to-morrow!" she murmured as she led me to the door, 
 making a great effort to restrain the emotion which she 
 was evidently feeling. 
 
 Next day, just at the moment when, in despair of see- 
 ing her, we were going toward the holy water basin, a 
 few minutes after the end of the service, she entered the
 
 EPILOGUE 827 
 
 church. Holding out her hand to me she requested me 
 to present to her Count Zanardi Landi, who had remained 
 a little distance away. She spoke to him in Itahan, hav- 
 ing a marked preference for this language, it seemed. 
 She thanked him for all he had done for her niece and 
 bade us adieu, like a good Catholic, with the words: 
 " May God bless you, and grant that you may soon be 
 united in His sight too! " 
 
 On the evenings that followed I went to see her again 
 in her room. She did not for the present wish our meet- 
 ings to be observed, so that it was like a charming renewal 
 of the long hours I used to spend in secret with my mother 
 in the hotels where we stopped, when, after all her suite 
 had retired, I had crept into her bedroom. 
 
 The Queen slept very little, not going to bed before 
 one o'clock, and getting up again at six. 
 
 Several days passed thus. Every night we made an ap- 
 pointment for the next day. I need not tell that this 
 sweet friendship was a delight to me. The Queen told 
 me after the second evening to drop the formal " Your 
 Majesty," and call her simply " Aunt," and she always 
 addressed me affectionately by my name. Without my 
 asking her to do so, she informed me that she had at once 
 taken steps to have my position regularised; and she said 
 she hoped for a prompt result, for she could not believe 
 that the Imperial family would refuse to do anything for 
 one of its own members when it knew the circumstances 
 of the case. 
 
 On the morning of September 15th there was brought 
 to me the visiting-card of the parish priest of Feldafing, 
 on which was written : " The Rev. Karl Kolb, while re- 
 turning his best thanks for the forty marks, begs to 
 request Madame to call and see him to-day, if possible, at
 
 328 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 two in the afternoon, to receive an important communica- 
 tion." 
 
 That same morning the proprietor of the hotel in- 
 formed me that Her Majesty's secretary begged me not 
 to insist on being received by her as she could see no one 
 at all. As the secretary was totally ignorant, like the 
 rest of my aunt's suite (with the exception of Marsala), 
 of our secret interviews, I could only suppose that he 
 had sent this message, in its discourteous form, in order 
 to increase his own importance. In any case it was not 
 permitted to me to discover his real motive, as I never 
 saw my aunt again. 
 
 In the afternoon I went to the Abbe Kolb's and found 
 that what he wished to communicate to me was this. The 
 Queen had charged him to beg me to leave Feldafing as 
 soon as possible, if I wished to spare her grave annoyance. 
 She had received the answer to the effort which she had 
 made on my behalf ; and this in laconic fashion ordered her 
 not to interfere in matters with which she had no concern. 
 He had been asked to express the very profound regret 
 which such an ending to the affair had caused her; but I 
 must know how dependent she was upon the persons whose 
 help she had solicited on my behalf, and how powerless 
 she was without this help. She gave me her blessing 
 and prayed earnestly that I might succeed in spite of all 
 opposition. 
 
 Once more my hopes faded away. I must state that, 
 notwithstanding this great disappointment, I never 
 dreamt for a single instant of blaming my old aunt or of 
 entertaining the least resentment against her. I was ab- 
 solutely sure that in the circumstances in which she was 
 placed she had acted with the best intentions possible. 
 Yet I was none the less brought to despair, I confess.
 
 EPILOGUE 329 
 
 During those few days I had been living again in the 
 atmosphere of my past existence, to which I had not even 
 had the wish to return. What had spurred me on to act 
 was the thought of estabhshing my children's rights, for 
 personally I had long abandoned all ideas of re-establish- 
 ing my rights and only wished for peace. It would not 
 have been without a certain pride, indeed, that I should 
 have enjoyed a freedom won by my own strength and 
 resolution, after having had such great difficulty in over- 
 coming the weaknesses of my heart. But there had been 
 a reawakening in me of lawful ambitions. My interviews 
 with my aunt had taken me back to the world in which I 
 had been born and for which I had been trained. I had 
 been treated for some days with the consideration to which 
 my origin gave me a right. 
 
 And now suddenly I realized the inflexible laws govern- 
 ing the fate of all, against which no human will can fight. 
 I saw with the utmost clearness that the independence 
 which I had so fondly imagined that I had secured for 
 myself would never actually be mine. How like a human 
 being is to a plant, which one may tear up from the soil 
 that bears and nourishes it, but, transplanting it to some 
 foreign soil, finds that it cannot become acclimatised. 
 Just so an imperial princess, bearing in the cradle the 
 burden of her rank, is bound by all the fibres of her being 
 to the traditions of centuries, which not even the most 
 democratic education can efface. It is in her blood, her 
 whole soul is steeped in it. It is a useless struggle to try 
 to become merely the same as the rest of the world. At a 
 crisis there will always be some little weakness which 
 will overmaster her, from which there is no possible 
 escape. 
 
 I knew now for how little counted my desire for inde-
 
 330 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 pendence and calm resignation. I understood that it 
 would never be possible for me to renounce all finally, and 
 the revelation affected me considerably — though, of 
 course, I could not altogether complain of my lot, having 
 a faithful companion to console and protect me, a hus- 
 band who cherished me tenderly and was attentive to the 
 least of my wishes. 
 
 On the day after my interview with the priest, Septem- 
 ber 16th, we left Feldafing. My pride rightly prevented 
 me from making any attempt to see my aunt again. 
 
 My divorce in Austria was fixed for the month of Octo- 
 ber. With an anguish impossible to realize I set out for 
 Vienna. Was I not putting my head in the lion's mouth? 
 I was playing a game in which my own person was at 
 stake, and my children were the prize. The journey 
 across Austria was a prolonged agony. I saw a spy in 
 every fellow-passenger, and every glance thrown my way 
 made me suspect that I was specially watched. Then in 
 Vienna, at the law-courts, when I had to give my name 
 and address, my heart was wrung. But there was not the 
 slightest hitch. On October 21st the divorce was decreed, 
 leaving the children entirely mine. 
 
 I stayed ten days longer in Vienna. I now felt more 
 at ease. After all that had passed, the letters I had writ- 
 ten, and the adventure at Feldafing, I had come to the 
 conclusion that no attempt would be made against my 
 person for fear of a scandal. I met some good friends of 
 old times, to whom I had not ventured to confide my 
 troubles, but who now told me that they had been quite 
 aware of them, and had even guessed the secret of the 
 mystery which enveloped me during the Empress's life- 
 time. Belonging to Court society, they had felt bound by 
 prudence to hold their peace. Now they protested their
 
 EPILOGUE 881 
 
 absolute devotion to my cause, and undertook to form a 
 party at Court to uphold me. 
 
 I must be allowed to make an exception, in the case 
 of these friends, to the rule which I have hitherto followed, 
 and to withhold their names, as otherwise I should ruin 
 them irretrievably. The gratitude and the admiration 
 which I feel for their noble spirit of justice are so keen 
 that, in spite of any personal benefit which I might get by 
 naming them, I must be silent for their sakes. 
 
 All the while they were making their brave endeavours 
 they were under the greatest apprehensions about my 
 safety. Yielding to their urgent entreaties, I resolved 
 to leave Vienna, and took my departure on November 
 2nd. As they thought my husband's assistance abso- 
 lutely indispensable for some time still, and, on the other 
 hand, did not consider it prudent to let me travel in the 
 sole company of a maid, they arranged that I should be 
 escorted by a young couple, an officer and his wife, who 
 agreed to be responsible for me, though the cost to them 
 might be nothing less than the impossibility of ever going 
 back to Austria again. I stopped for a short while at 
 Tann, in Bavaria, at the house of my good Fanny's 
 mother. Here at least, in Europe, I had a home. Nat- 
 urally, I wished to avoid all hotels. 
 
 While I was at Tann my friends were not sleeping. 
 After careful deliberation they arrived at the conclusion 
 that, above all, we must have the opinion of a good Vien- 
 nese lawyer if we would be safe. The man selected was 
 Dr. Walther Rode, who declared that nothing could be 
 done without a personal interview with me. It was 
 therefore settled that we should meet on November 7, 
 1911, at the Park Hotel, Munich. 
 
 The lawyer put me through a thorough cross-examina-
 
 332 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 tion, which was only briefly interrupted for lunch. I was 
 " in the box " for nine hours, answering all his questions. 
 He made no secret of the fact that his original attitude 
 towards me was one of distrust. But at the end of our 
 interview he rose, and, kissing my hand, he said to me: 
 *' Madam, I beg you to consider me henceforward one of 
 your most devoted supporters. I have no doubt what- 
 ever of the absolute truth of your statements and the com- 
 plete justice of your cause." 
 
 On his return to Vienna, Dr. Rode began operations. 
 On November 11th, he wrote to me that my friends had 
 submitted my case to the military as well as the civil de- 
 partments of His Majesty's private cabinet; that conse- 
 quently Prince Montenuovo, Grand Chamberlain to the 
 Court, Baron Bolfrass, head of the military, and Baron 
 Schiessl, head of the civil department, knew all; and that 
 he thought that steps should be taken immediately, so 
 that on Monday, the 13th, he was going to apply to the 
 courts for permission to inspect the Empress's will. The 
 authorities could not evade giving an answer of some kind 
 to this request, without much delay, and would therefore 
 be compelled to consider officially the question of my 
 birth. 
 
 In accordance with this programme Dr. Rode on 
 Monday, the 13th, made his application in the proper 
 quarter. The document consisted of seventeen typewrit- 
 ten pages, and set forth briefly the whole of my history. 
 A week passed without any visible result. Dr. Rode 
 wrote to me on the 15th that on the day after the applica- 
 tion Prince Montenuovo and Baron Bolfrass went to- 
 gether to an audience with the Emperor, undoubtedly in 
 connection with my affairs, as these two officials could not, 
 of course, settle so grave a question and take on them-
 
 EPILOGUE 888 
 
 selves the responsibility for the consequences which must 
 inevitably follow. 
 
 In a second letter, dated November 18th, Dr. Rode in- 
 formed me that he had made another application to the 
 Minister of the Imperial Household,^ claiming a civil 
 status for me as a member of the Imperial family. One 
 paragraph of this letter deserves quotation : — 
 
 " I have no doubt that, since the Court is now ac- 
 quainted with this affair which had been thought buried 
 for ever, everyone is in a state of utter perplexity. Be- 
 sides, it is easy to understand that the head of the Im- 
 perial Family, were he to recognise you, would come up 
 against all kinds of obstacles; and unless he succeeded in 
 overcoming his objections, no force on earth could make 
 him depart from his attitude of non-recognition towards 
 you. However, it should not be forgotten that his age is 
 such that thoughts of the hereafter must always be pres- 
 ent to his mind, and consequently one must be prepared 
 for unforeseen results." 
 
 Another letter from Dr. Rode, also dated the 18th, 
 told me that it had been impossible for him, up to now, 
 to trace my birth-certificate, although he had even gone 
 so far as to search the Jewish registers in order to satisfy 
 himself that I was not mentioned in them. 
 
 So finished a week of waiting. On November 20th I 
 first of all received a letter from my lawyer begging me 
 to give him a second interview at Passau on the Austro- 
 Bavarian frontier; and then, in the afternoon, a telegram 
 saying: — 
 
 " Matters apparently taking good turn. Appoint- 
 ment postponed. Letter follows." 
 
 1 In Austria the Minister for Foreign Aflfairs also fills this post.
 
 334 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 Next day came two letters from Dr. Rode. One, sent 
 by express messenger, was very short, and informed me 
 that he had had an interview with Councillor von Seidel. 
 The second was more detailed, and told me how he had 
 been smnmoned to the Chancellor's office, where he had 
 been received with the utmost amiability. He had talked 
 with Herr von Seidel for more than an hour, and had been 
 promised by him that he would get the Grand Marshal, 
 Count Zichy, to receive him very shortly. " I think I 
 may say," concluded Dr. Rode, " that I succeeded, with 
 my application, in hitting the bull's-eye." 
 
 It was easy to see in these letters my lawyer's enthusi- 
 asm about my affairs. Noticeable also was the benevo- 
 lent attitude taken up toward him by the Court, where 
 it was tacitly conceded that I had a perfect right to act 
 as I was doing and no one disputed my claims. 
 
 On November 23rd, Dr. Rode was due to be received 
 by Count Zichy. From this date his conduct suddenly 
 changed. After having written to me almost every day, 
 and sometimes twice in one day, he left me now forty- 
 eight hours without any news whatever — and that when 
 he knew that we were waiting most anxiously for the re- 
 sult of his interview with Count Zichy. At last, at mid- 
 night on the 24th, we received a telegram: — 
 
 " Shall be at Passau, Bayrischer Hof Hotel, Saturday 
 night, 25th." 
 
 Next day we set out early so as to be punctual at the 
 appointed spot. Dr. Rode told us that he had succeeded 
 in having his interview with Count Zichy, who had begged 
 him above all to maintain absolute secrecy about the af- 
 fair. He himself, he had stated, had no power to give 
 an official answer. This was Prince Montenuovo's duty,
 
 EPILOGUE 885 
 
 although he certainly had the right of making unofficial 
 propositions. 
 
 Count Zichy added that the Emperor was too advanced 
 in age, and in too precarious health, to hsten to matters 
 which might grieve him seriously. But the Court — al- 
 ways this anonymous, indefinable " Court " — was not 
 altogether hostile to me, and, having certain funds avail- 
 able, made me the offer, through my la^vyer, of a million 
 crowns. 
 
 Hearing this, I felt instinctively that Dr. Rode no 
 longer was actuated by my interests alone. I answered 
 at once that what I claimed was not money, but my birth- 
 right; that, thanks to my husband, I had no need what- 
 ever of the former ; and that what I ardently desired was 
 to meet my family and be received by them, if only in 
 private and unseen by the rest of the world. Their 
 money was nothing to me. 
 
 Dr. Rode at once raised his offer to a million and a 
 half; and, impressed with the certainty that he would ob- 
 tain my consent in the long run, he began to describe 
 minutely the plan which must be followed to bring about, 
 indirectly, a conclusion of the affair with the Court. 
 
 My husband here gave me a secret sign to let Dr. Rode 
 proceed to the end of his argument. The doctor ex- 
 plained to me the solution which the Court suggested. I 
 must call upon Mrs. Kaiser as a witness and demand from 
 her circumstantial details about my birth, and her rela- 
 tions with the Empress of Austria. Mrs. Kaiser, in 
 order to avoid a great scandal, would offer me the cash, 
 which the Court would refund to her. 
 
 I was careful not to express my opinion with regard 
 to such a proposal. I simply told Dr. Rode that a de- 
 cision of such importance required more than an hour's
 
 336 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 reflection, and that I would send my answer in writing 
 in a few days' time. We parted, therefore, on Sunday, 
 the 26th, Dr. Rode under the impression that I was about 
 to fall blindly into the pit that had been dug for me, and 
 I only too sure that he was no longer acting frankly and 
 that I must be on my guard. Still, I did not wish to 
 make an enemy of him. I wrote to him on the 27th, ex- 
 plaining to him that my husband and I, seeing the affair 
 growing more and more complicated, had decided after 
 mature thought to avail ourselves of the help of a lawyer 
 of non- Austrian nationality to second his efforts. We 
 supposed that he would not take offence at this, because 
 he himself, when he had first taken up the case, had 
 pressed us to adopt such a course. Then, when we 
 should have discussed matters with the lawyer whom we 
 might select in Italy, we would communicate to Dr. Rode 
 our intention of proceeding or otherwise. 
 
 By return of post I received an answer which betrayed 
 the writer's extreme uneasiness. This time the letter was 
 not typed, but written entirely in Dr. Rode's own 
 hand. 
 
 " I am not at all offended at the idea of an Italian law- 
 yer," he said; "but if you engage one, I must ask you 
 kindly to dispense with my services — especially as I am 
 persuaded that I am powerless. The parties in question 
 will do absolutely nothing, and I should be wasting my 
 time and my life in a vain and futile struggle." 
 
 We went immediately to Italy, where I consulted sev- 
 eral lawj^ers. All expressed identically the same opinion, 
 that Dr. Rode had been constrained by the Imperial 
 Court to back out of his task; but, as the object which I 
 had in view was not to make money, the only advice they 
 could give me was to publish the book which I now pre-
 
 EPILOGUE 337 
 
 sent to the world, so that my claims might at least come 
 before the bar of public opinion. 
 
 I proceeded at once to make arrangements for the issue 
 of an Italian version of my story. A prominent pub- 
 lisher, who had brought out books for the members of the 
 Italian royal family, undertook the task, agreeing to se- 
 cure publication in France also. The affair seemed well 
 on its way, when, in February, 1913, only a few days be- 
 fore the printers had completed their work, the Italian 
 government stepped in and confiscated the plates, proofs, 
 and all. 
 
 I had meanwhile gone to London again, and had 
 settled in a house there. When I discovered that my 
 speedy return to Canada would be impossible, I had sent 
 over for my faithful Fanny to bring the two children to 
 me in London, where they arrived in August, 1912.^ It 
 was in London, in the following February, that the news 
 of the Italian government's action reached me. Immedi- 
 ately afterwards I learnt that the French publication had 
 also fallen through. The serial and book rights had both 
 been placed with the same firm in Paris, which now, 
 though the French version had been made and set up by 
 the printers, decided not to publish it. I know the sum 
 — forty thousand francs — which was paid to secure the 
 book's suppression in France. With regard to what hap- 
 pened in Italy, my husband in the previous November had 
 seen Cardinal Rampolla, with whom he had discussed 
 matters for two whole hours; and we heard through the 
 publisher that it was the Vatican which made the first 
 
 1 1 may mention that in London Fanny was approached by Austrijui 
 agents, who endeavoured to induce her to purloin documents from me or to 
 betray my confidence in other ways? but ali in vain. Tlie poor woman was 
 killed on February 27, 1913, near the Marble Arch, being run over by a 
 motor-car while out with the two children, who escaped as though by a 
 miracle. Some of my readers will no doubt remember seeing the incident 
 recorded in the newspapers at the time.
 
 338 THE SECRET OF AN EMPRESS 
 
 move for the suppression of the Italian version, acting no 
 doubt on behalf of the Austrian government. 
 
 The Italian publisher, owing to his business connection 
 with members of the royal family, could not say much in 
 the way of protest. The newspapers did not fail to re- 
 port the affair and to remark on the illegality of the sup- 
 pression; but somehow they were induced to let the matter 
 drop. 
 
 I was therefore foiled in my attempt to make my story 
 known to the world either in Italian or in French. I 
 knew that German publication was impossible, except 
 through the mediimi of some Swiss publisher, when ex- 
 portation of the work across the frontier could be stopped. 
 I decided to make my appeal in the English language, 
 being anxious, moreover, to reach the great public of Eng- 
 land and America. 
 
 Thanks to my own exertions, thanks to the assistance 
 of disinterested friends, and thanks to the man who has 
 grown to be a fond father to my son and daughter, I have 
 at last come to see the day when my book will be in the 
 hands of the reading public, which will be, I am sure, an 
 impartial judge towards me and a generous protector to 
 my children. 
 
 THE END
 
 mDEX
 
 INDEX 
 
 Abrahamovicz, Mr. and Mrs., 311 . 
 Alexandra, Empress, 158. 
 Antony-Francis, birth of, 810. 
 Auersperg, Princess Aglae, and Rudolf 
 
 of Austria, 217. 
 Augusta of Bavaria, 136. 
 
 Bartholme, Miss, 71. 
 
 Bayerl, Commissioner Georg, 252, 255, 
 
 259. 
 Bilinski, Mr. and Mrs., 311. 
 Billroth, Theodore, 62. 
 Bismarck and Ludwig II of Bavaria, 141. 
 Bolfrass, Baron, 231, 233, 332. 
 Bombelles, Coimt Charies, 214. j 
 Brahms, Johannes, 62. 
 Bratfisch, 228. 
 
 Carito, Rafael, 44. 
 
 Chotek, Countess Sophie (Duchess of Ho- 
 henberg), 240; 
 
 assassination of, 245; 
 
 marriage of, 240; 
 
 political influence of, 138, 241. 
 Christomanos, Dr., and Elisabeth of 
 
 Austria, 41. 
 Conrad of Bavaria, 136. 
 Coiu^ of Vienna, life at, 175, 207, et seq. 
 Crombl, Madame, lessons from, 8. 
 Crown Prince of Austria. See Rudolf. 
 
 Dancing classes, 261. 
 DUrckheim-Montmartin, Count Alfred 
 von, 147. 
 
 EUsabeth-Marie-Christine, birth of, 313. 
 Elisabeth of Austria, Empress, — 
 
 and Bertha Habrda, 203; 
 
 and Court life, 39; 
 
 and Dr. Christomanos, 41; 
 
 and Ludwig II of Bavaria, 173; 
 
 and Professor Kraus, 105; 
 
 assassination of, 282; 
 
 at the Riviera, 83; 
 
 attempts to secure recognition of Count- 
 ess Zanardi Landi, 274 et seq.; 
 
 birth of, 28; 
 
 childhood of, 32; 
 
 courtship of, 33; 
 
 "eccentricity" of, 43, 61; 
 
 explains her secret, 25, 126; 
 
 her habits of study, 40; 
 
 in mourning for Crown Prince, 9; 
 
 letters to Countess Zanardi Landi, 182, 
 186, 259, 277; 
 
 letters to Frau von Friese, 69, 64, 116, 
 168, 257; 
 
 public appearance in Vienna, 157; 
 
 relations with her family, 276; 
 
 sympathy with Ludwig II of Bavaria, 
 145; 
 
 telegram from Ludwig II of Bavaria, 
 147; 
 
 wedding of, 35. 
 Elisabeth of Bavaria, marriage of, 135, 
 Ersie, 223. 
 
 Eschenbach, Baroness Ebner von, 62. 
 Etlinger, Mina, 54. 
 
 Feldafing, 322. 
 
 Fellner, Ferdinand, 164, 186, 188, 262. 
 
 268. 
 Ferdinand-Karl, Archduke, 244. 
 Ferdinand-Max, Archduke, 68. 
 Femwald, Prof. Karl Braun von, 1. 
 Francis-Joseph, Emperor, — 
 affection for Countess Zanardi Landi, 
 
 vi; 
 courtship of, 33; 
 interview with Rudolf, 225; 
 promises protection to Ludwig II, 147; 
 takes steps for recognition of daughter, 
 
 279; 
 tragedy of his life, vi; 
 visits Empress at birth of Countess 
 Zanardi Landi, 1. 
 Francis-Salvator of Tuscany, Archduke, 
 138.
 
 342 
 
 INDEX 
 
 Franz-Ferdinand, Archduke, assassina- 
 tion of, 245; 
 atTerritet, 171; 
 history of, 239. 
 Franz-Joseph-Otto, 248. 
 Frauenerwerbverein, the. Countess Zanardi 
 
 Landi at, 159. 
 Friese, Frau von, — 
 
 assumes charge of Countess Zanardi 
 
 Landi, 47; 
 death of, 289; 
 history of, 48; 
 illness of, 180; 
 letter from, to Countess Zanardi Landi 
 
 on death of Empress, 284; 
 rule of, 201; 
 spies of, 251. 
 
 Geneva, visit to, 174. 
 
 George of Bavaria, marriage of, 136. 
 
 Gisela, 135; 
 
 birth of, 25. 
 Gmunden, 93. 
 GOdollo, 69. 
 Goess, Countess, 2; 
 
 death of, 161. 
 Goldmark, Karl, 62. 
 Gudden, Dr. von, 146, 150, 151, 153. 
 
 Habrda, Bertha, at sewing-school, 203, 
 249. 
 
 Habrda, Johann, 203, 218, 230, 237, 253. 
 
 Hain, Fraulein, 53. 
 
 Hanauseck, Fraulein, 98, 101. 
 
 Helene, Princess of Thurn and Taxis, 29, 
 n., 32 et seq. 
 
 Hofifmann, Frau Louise, 15. 
 
 Hohenberg, Duchess of. See Chotek, 
 Countess. 
 
 Hold, Herr Hans, 15. 
 
 Holnstein, Count, and Ludwig II of Ba- 
 varia, 143. 
 
 Hungarian Millennium, 109, 115. 
 
 Insanity of Wittelsbachs denied, 29. 
 
 Isabella, Archduchess, 241, 244. 
 
 Ischl, Coimtess Zanardi Landi at, \\5 et 
 
 seq. 
 Ives, Miss, 12 ei seq., 27. 
 
 Joseph II of Austria and the Church, 212. 
 
 Kaiser, Laura, 12, 51, 94, 202, 298. 
 Kaiser, Mr., death of, 299. 
 Kaiser, Mr. and Mrs., agree to bring up 
 Countess Zanardi Landi, 2; 
 
 at Portschach, 281; 
 
 Countess Zanardi Landi leaves, 51; 
 
 holiday with, 61; 
 
 silver wedding of, 115. 
 Kaiser, Mrs., illnesses of, 78, 96. 
 Karl-Franz-Joseph, Archduke, 242, 246. 
 Karl-Ludwig, Archduke, and Prince Ru- 
 dolf, 213. 
 Karl-Theodor, Duke, 29, n., 32. 
 Karrersee, 191 et seq. 
 Kinsky, Countess, 138. 
 Kleinhart farm, 313. 
 Kolb, Abbe Karl, 327. 
 Kraus, Professor, as tutor of Countess 
 Zanardi Landi, 101; 
 
 at Ischl, 116; 
 
 diary of, at Ischl, 117; 
 
 introduced to Elisabeth of Austria, 
 105; 
 
 recognises Countess Zanardi Landi, 103. 
 Krieau at Vienna, 183; 
 Kuhnelt, Dr. Richard, early meetings 
 with, 300; 
 
 goes to Canada, 314; 
 
 marriage of, 307; 
 
 retiu-ns to Austria, 318. 
 Kundman, Karl, 62. 
 
 Lainz, Countess Zanardi Landi's home 
 
 at, 12. 
 Lambertus, Father, 15, 52, 57. 
 Langbath Lakes, 64. 
 Larisch, Countess, 220. 
 Latzlsperger, Fanny, 314; 
 
 death of, 337, n. 
 Leopold, 56. 
 
 Letters and extracts from letters, — 
 from M. Barcelona to Countess Zanardi 
 
 Landi, Sept. 6, 1911, 322, 323; 
 from Elisabeth of Austria 
 
 to Countess Zanardi Landi, 182, 186, 
 
 259; July 18, 1898, 277; 
 to Frau von Friese, May 10, 1893, 59; 
 64; July 4, 1896, 116; 168; Dec. 18, 
 1897, 257; Dec. 26, 1897, 257; 
 from Fellner, Ferdinand, to Coimtess 
 Zanardi Landi, 269;
 
 INTDEX 
 
 343 
 
 from Friese, Frau von, to Countess Za- 
 nardi Landi, 284; 
 
 from Rode, Dr. Walther, to Countess 
 Zanardi Landi, Nov. 18, 1911, 333; 
 Nov. 27, 1911, 336. 
 Levinsky, Joseph, 137. 
 Liechtenstein, Prince, 231. 
 Loschegg, 228. 
 Luccheni, Empress of Austria's assassin, 
 
 293 n. 
 Ludovica, Duchess, 31. 
 Ludwig II of Bavaria, 28, n., 29, 66, 67; 
 
 and Bismarck, 143; 
 
 and Elisabeth of Austria, 140, 173; 
 
 and money, 143; 
 
 and Richard Wagner, 173; 
 
 death of, 153; 
 
 history of, 141; 
 
 plot for escape of, 151 ; 
 
 plots against, 145 et seq.', 
 
 sepulchre of, 76; 
 
 taken to Berg, 150; 
 Luitpold, Prince, 142, 143. 
 
 Maria-Josepha, Archduchess, 244. 
 Maria-Sophia, Queen of Naples, 29, n.; 
 
 322. 
 Marie of Bavaria, Queen, 30. 
 Marie-Valerie, Archduchess, 244. 
 Marie Vetsera, Baroness, and Rudolf of 
 Austria, 220; 
 
 assassination of, 234. 
 Marschall, Gottfried, 224, 237. 
 Max-Emmanuel, Duke, of Bavaria, 29, n., 
 
 61. 
 Maximilian, Duke, of Bavaria, 31; 
 
 children of, 28, n. 
 Maximilian II, 30. 
 Mayer, Clarisse, 162. 
 Mayer, Father, 100. 
 Mayerling, 218; 
 
 riddle of, 207. 
 Montenuovo, Prince, and Countess Zan- 
 ardi Landi's claim, 332; 
 
 history of, 16, n. 
 
 Name-day in Austria, 160, n. 
 Nopsca, Baron, 81. 
 
 Osterholzer, 145, 149. 
 
 Otto, King of Bavaria, insanity of, 30. 
 
 Paoli, detective, and Elisabeth of Austria, 
 
 43. 
 Pfob, Rev. Josef, 305. 
 Philip of Coburg, Duke, 224. 
 Pidon, Mademoiselle, 12 et seq., 27. 
 Pirker, Alois, 2, 12, 54, 256, 294. 
 POrtschach, 281. 
 
 Riviera, visit to the, 83. 
 Rode, Dr. Walther, 331. 
 Rothschild, Baroness Adolphe, 174. 
 Roumania, King and Queen of, at Ischl. 
 
 94. 
 Rudolf, Crown Prince of Austria, — 
 
 amusements of, 209; 
 
 and army, 213; 
 
 and Baroness Marie Vetsera, 220; 
 
 assassination of, 8, 234; 
 
 birth of, 25; 
 
 childhood of, 209; 
 
 Empress Elisabeth's love for, 134; 
 
 freemason, 211; 
 
 funeral of, 10; 
 
 interview with Emperor of Austria, 225 ; 
 
 marries Princess Stephanie, 216; 
 
 relations with Emperor of Austria, 222; 
 
 religious training of, 211. 
 
 St. Charies's Day, 160. 
 St. Gilgen, 61. 
 Sarajevo crime, the, 245. 
 Schedivi, Theresa, 2. 
 Schiessl, Baron, 332. 
 Sewing-schools, 159, 202, 249. 
 Sonntag, 146. 
 Sophia, Archduchess, 31; 
 
 and Elisabeth of Austria, 37. 
 Sophie-Charlotte, Duchess of Alengon, 
 
 death of, 178. 
 Stephanie, Princess, 216. 
 Szilghy, President von, 115. 
 Sztaray, Countess, 197. 
 
 Territet, visit to, 168. 
 Thyr, Elsa von, 72. 
 Thyr, Frau von, 74, 261. 
 
 Valerie, Archduchess, 136; 
 birth of, 26; 
 marriage of, 138; 
 political ambitions of, 138.
 
 344 
 
 IOT)EX 
 
 Veldes, 188. 
 
 Venice, 68. 
 
 Vienna in May, 182. 
 
 Wagner, Richard, and Ludwig II of Ba- 
 varia, 173. 
 
 Washington, Baron, and Ludwig II of 
 Bavaria, 146. 
 
 Windt, Commissioner Camillo, 252, 255, 
 259, 297. 
 
 Wittelsbachs, history of, 29. 
 
 Zanardi Landi, Count, first meeting with, 
 319; 
 
 marriage to, 321. 
 Zanardi Landi, Countess, accident to, 79; 
 
 and Frau von Friese, 47; 
 
 and servants, 53; 
 
 at dancing classes, 261; 
 
 at the Frauenerwerbverein, 159; 
 
 at Frau von Thyr's dance, 165; 
 
 at the Riviera, 83; 
 
 birth of, 1; 
 
 birth of her daughter, 318; 
 
 birth of her son, 310; 
 
 claims birthright, 331; 
 
 decides to publish book, 337; 
 
 discovers her mother, 20; 
 
 divorce granted, 320, 330; 
 
 early home of, 12; 
 
 Empress's plans for, 176; 
 
 falls in love, 166; 
 
 first marriage of, 307; 
 
 goes to Canada, 314; 
 
 goes to school, 71; 
 
 goes to Vancouver, 316; 
 
 illness of, 94; 
 
 meets Ferdinand Fellner, 164; 
 
 meets Maria-Sophia, Queen of Naples, 
 324; 
 
 punishment of, 14, 23; 
 
 recognised at Gmunden, 99; 
 
 recognised by Professor Kraus, 103; 
 
 religious training of, 52, 57; 
 
 second marriage of, 321; 
 
 settles in London, 337. 
 Zanders, 148, 151. 
 Zita, Archduchess, 247.
 
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