JVo ^57^0
 
 /^;6 
 
 \
 
 YOUNG MAN 
 
 GUIDE TO KNOWLEDGE, 
 
 QK'u'tiiJg AS3© M^PPOMIS©©, 
 
 " Ad actire life is Tirtae'» proper sphere ; 
 To do and suffer is oar daty here ; 
 Foes to encoumer, vices to disdiio, 
 FoUies to shun, and pasaious to restrain." 
 
 Hotoell: 
 
 NATHANIEL L. DAYTON 
 1845.
 
 Entered according to Act of Cougresa, iu the year 1314, 
 
 By N.L.DAYTON, 
 
 In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of Massachusetts. 
 
 Munroe & Francis, Printers, 
 Boston,
 
 PREFACE 
 
 This little book has been prepared to 
 supply a deficiency, which has been 
 sensibly experienced, of a -u-ork adapted 
 to the wants and position of the young 
 men of our community, which could be 
 presented in a less expensive, and con- 
 sequently more generally attainable form, 
 than any of its class that have heretofore 
 appeared before the public. In the pre- 
 paration of this volume, we have care- 
 fully availed ourselves of the best sug- 
 gestions on secular and moral subjects 
 of some of its excellent predecessors, and 
 have scrupulously excluded whatever is 
 inconsistent with the most refined moral 
 taste. T\''e cherish the hope that it may 
 be the humble instrument of unfolding 
 to some the beauties of the consistent 
 
 2052917
 
 IV PREFACE < 
 
 mora^ character — of awakening in others 
 aspirations after higher and purer attain- 
 ments — and of encouraging all who read 
 its pages in the formation of that charac- 
 ter which " hath the promise of the life 
 that now is, and of that which is to 
 come."
 
 COXTEKTS 
 
 Claima on Young 51en 7 
 
 Dangers of Young Men 18 
 
 Choice of a Profession 31 
 
 Acquisition of Propertv 38 
 
 Luck and Chance 44 
 
 Stabilitj of Purpose 50 
 
 Caution in Commencing Business .... 55 
 
 Regular Hours 58 
 
 Temperance 78 
 
 Diligence and Pancto&lity 66 
 
 Faithfulness . . T 76 
 
 Perseverance 78 
 
 Economy — with Illaetrations 84 
 
 Choice of Associates 93 
 
 Female Society 99 
 
 Amusements 107 
 
 Conversation on Dancing 109 
 
 Genuine Politeness 117 
 
 Singularity 120 
 
 Farther Hints oo Manner* 133
 
 VI CONTENTS. 
 
 Conversation 134 
 
 Egotism 140 
 
 Further Hints on Conversation 145 
 
 Marriage Desirable 155 
 
 Coquetry 163 
 
 Qualities Important in a Wife 171 
 
 Hints to Young Husbands 181 
 
 Elements of Genius 186 
 
 A Broad Mind 192 
 
 Attainment of Knowledge 194 
 
 Reading 195 
 
 How to Acquire a Library 207 
 
 English Grammar 214 
 
 Influence of Religion 218 
 
 A Dream 221
 
 YOUNG MAN 
 
 CLAIMS ON YOUNG MEN. 
 
 The claims of society upon young men 
 are of the most weighty and serious 
 character. They grow out of those 
 indissoluble relations which you sustain 
 to society ; and those valuable interests, 
 social, civil, and religious, which have 
 come down to us, a most precious in- 
 heritance, from our fathers, and which, 
 with all the duties and responsibilities 
 connected with them, are soon to be 
 transferred to your hands and to your 
 keeping. I look forward a few short 
 years, and see the aspect of society en- 
 tirely chcinged. The venerable fathers
 
 8 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 who have borne the burden and heat of 
 the day are dropping one after another 
 into the grave, and soon they will all 
 be gone. Of those too, who are now 
 the acting members of society, some 
 have passed the meridian of life, others 
 are passing it, and all will soon be go- 
 ing down its decline, to mingle with 
 the generations who have disappeared 
 before them, from this transient scene 
 of action. To a mind seriously con- 
 templating this mournful fact, it is an 
 inquiry of deep and tender interest ; — • 
 Who are to rise up and fill their pla- 
 ces ? To whom are to be committed 
 the invaluable interests of this commu- 
 nity ? Who are to sustain its respon- 
 sibilities and discharge its duties ? 
 You anticipate the answer. It is to 
 you, young men, that these interests 
 are to be committed, and these respon- 
 sibilities transferred. You are fast ad- 
 vancing to fill the places of those, who 
 are fast retiring to give place to a new 
 generation. You are soon to occupy
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 9 
 
 the houses and own the property and 
 fill the offices and possess the power 
 and direct the influence that are now 
 in other hands. The various depart- 
 ments of business and trust, the pulpit 
 and the bar, our courts of justice and 
 halls of legislation ; our civil, religious 
 and literary institutions, all, in short, 
 that constitutes society, and goes to 
 make life useful and happy, are to be 
 in your hands, and under your con- 
 trol. 
 
 This representation is not made to 
 excite your vanity, but to impress you 
 with a due sense of your obligations. 
 You cannot take a rational view of the 
 stations to which you are advancing, 
 or of the duties that are coming upon 
 you, without feeling deeply your need 
 of high and peculiar qualifications. In 
 committing to you her interests and 
 privileges, society imposes upon you 
 corresponding claims ; and demands 
 that you be prepared to fill, with honor 
 
 B
 
 10 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 and usefulness, the places which you 
 are destined to occupy. She looks to 
 you for future protection and support, 
 and while she opens her arms to wel- 
 come you to her high immunities and 
 hopes, she requires of you the cultiva- 
 tion of those virtues, and the attain- 
 ment of those qualifications, which can 
 alone prepare you for the duties and 
 scenes of future life. 
 
 Such being then the claims of socie- 
 ty, let us inquire, — How you may be 
 prepared to meet them ? 
 
 And, first of all, it is demanded that 
 you awake to a serious consideration 
 of the duties and prospects before you. 
 I mention this first, because, if a young 
 man cannot be persuaded to consider 
 what he is, and what he is to become 
 in future life, nothing worthy or good 
 can be expected of him. And, unhap- 
 pily, this is the character of too many 
 young men. They cannot be made to 
 think. They seem resolved to live 
 only for the present moment, and for
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 11 
 
 present gratification. Of these gay 
 and thoughtless triflers, society has 
 nothing to expect ; they may have 
 their little day of sunshine and pleasure ; 
 then they will vanish and be forgotten, 
 as if they had never been. 
 
 But our Creator has formed you for 
 society, for duty, and for happiness ; 
 and has so connected you with the liv- 
 ing beings around you, that they as 
 w^ell as yourselves, are to leel the good 
 or ill effects of your conduct long after 
 you shall have gone to render up your 
 account. How imperious to beings in 
 this state is the duty of consideration ! 
 How wise, how all-important to inquire, 
 — What am I, and what is my desti- 
 nation in this and the future world ? 
 For what end was I created, and for 
 what purpose placed here in the midst 
 of beings like myself? What are the 
 duties which I owe to them ? How 
 can 1 be prepared to perform those du- 
 ties, and how accomplish the great end 
 for which my Creator gave me exist-
 
 12 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 ence, and placed me in this world of 
 probation and trial ? The man who 
 thinks lightly of such inquiries, or who 
 never brings them home to his own 
 bosom, as matters of direct, personal 
 concern, violates every principle of rea- 
 son and common prudence. They are 
 indeed grave inquiries ; and light tri- 
 fling minds may reject them because 
 they are so. But they are suggested 
 by the reality of things ; and never, 
 without a due consideration of them, 
 can you be qualified for the duties of 
 life, or sustain the responsibilities so 
 soon to come upon you as members of 
 society. 
 
 Another requisite for meeting the 
 claims of society is intelligence^ or a 
 careful cultivation of your minds. In 
 despotic governments, where the sub- 
 ject is a mere vassal, and has no part 
 either in making or executing the laws, 
 ignorance is, no doubt, an essential 
 qualification of a good citizen. The 
 less he knows of liis rights, the more
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 13 
 
 contented he is to be deprived of them ; 
 and the less he understands of duty, the 
 more pliable he is as a mere instru- 
 ment of ambition and power. Not so 
 in this country. Here every man is a 
 public man. He is a freeman, and this 
 ought always to mean the same thing 
 as an intelligent man. He possesses 
 the right of suffrage ; and is often cal- 
 led to aid in the election of rulers ; to 
 deliberate and act respecting the public 
 welfare ; to fill offices of influence and 
 trust ; and to perform innumerable du- 
 ties in the course of life, which can be 
 well performed only in the possession 
 of an intelligent and well-furnished 
 mind. And certainly, whatever be a 
 man's circumstances, he cannot but be 
 a happier and more useful man by pos- 
 sessing such a mind. 
 
 And another thing demanded of you 
 by society is an upright and virtuous 
 character. 
 
 No man can hope to rise in society 
 or act worthily his part in life, without
 
 14 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 a fair, moral character. The basis of 
 such a character is virtuous principle ; 
 or a deep, fixed sense of moral obliga- 
 tion, sustained and invigorated by the 
 fear and the love of God. The man 
 who possesses such a character can be 
 trusted. Integrity, truth, benevolence, 
 justice, are not with him words without 
 meaning ; he knows and feels their sa- 
 cred import, and aims, in the whole 
 tenure of his life, to exemplify the vir- 
 tues they express. Such a man has 
 decision of character ; he knows what 
 is right, and is firm in doing it. Such 
 a man has independence of character ; 
 he thinks and acts for himself^ and is 
 not to be made a tool to serve the pur- 
 poses of party. Such a man has con- 
 sistency of character ; he pursues a 
 straightforward course, and what he is 
 to-day, you are sure of finding him to- 
 morrow. Such a man has true worth 
 of character ; and his hfe is a blessing 
 to himself, to his family, to society, and
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 15 
 
 to the world. Aim then, my young 
 friends, to attain this character. 
 
 Every man should come forward in 
 life with a determination to do all the 
 good he can, and to leave the world 
 the better for his having lived in it. He 
 should consider that he was not made 
 for himself alone ; but for society, for 
 mankind, and for God. He should 
 feel that he is a constituent, responsible 
 member of the great family of man : 
 and, while he should pay particular at- 
 tention to the wants of those with whom 
 he is inmiediately connected, he should 
 accustom himself to send his thoughts 
 abroad, over the wide field of practical 
 benevolence, and early learn to feel 
 and act for the good of his species. 
 
 Also, be persuaded that the qualifi- 
 cations demanded are entirely within 
 your power. 
 
 And,Avhile you thus aim to fulfil the 
 duties which you owe to society, you 
 take the most effectual measures to pro- 
 mote your own respectability and hap-
 
 16 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 piness. The young man of thought- 
 lessness, gayety, and fashion, may 
 shine for a httle moment ; and, during 
 that moment, he may be the admiration, 
 and perhaps envy, of persons as vain 
 and thoughtless as himself But he 
 soon passes the season of gayety and 
 mirth — and what is he then ? A 
 worthless, neglected cypher in society. 
 His present course of life has no refer- 
 ence to the scenes and duties of riper 
 years. His youth is entirely discon- 
 nected from his manhood. It is a por- 
 tion of his existence which he throws 
 away; and perhaps worse than throws 
 away, because he contracts habits 
 which unfit him for sober life, and 
 cleave to him as an enfeebling, disgust- 
 ing disease, all his days. 
 
 On the other hand, the young man 
 who seriously considers the nature and 
 design of his being ; who shuns the so- 
 ciety and flees the amusements of the 
 thoughtless and vicious; who devotes 
 his vacant hours to the improvement
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 17 
 
 of his mind and heart, and aims at the 
 aquisition of those habits and virtues 
 which may quality him for the duties 
 of life. — such a young man cannot fail 
 to rise in respectability, in influence 
 and honor. There is no waste in his 
 existence -, no contraction of bad habits 
 to obscure the meridian, or darken the 
 decline of life. The course upon which 
 he enters, like the path of the just, 
 shines brighter and brighter unto the 
 perfect day. This motive you cannot 
 duly consider without teeling its con- 
 straining influence. You are all in the 
 pursuit of happiness; you all desire the 
 esteem and respect of your fellow men. 
 Here is the way and the only way to 
 attain it. An enlightened mind, a vir- 
 tuous character, a usefid life, — these 
 are the dignity and glory of man. 
 They make him lovely in the sight of 
 angels and God, and secure to him 
 present peace and everlasting happi- 
 ness.
 
 18 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 DANGERS OF YOUNG MEN. 
 
 Every period of life has its peculiar 
 temptations and dangers. But were 
 I to specify the period, which, of all 
 others, is attended with the greatest 
 peril and most needs to be watched and 
 guarded, I would fix upon that which 
 elapses from fourteen to twenty-five 
 years of age. This pre-eminently is 
 the forming, fixing period, the spring 
 season of disposition and habit ; and it 
 is during this season, more than any 
 other, that the character assumes its 
 permanent shape and color, and the 
 young man is wont to take his course 
 for time and eternity. 
 
 But, not to confine my remarks to 
 this particular age, it will not be doubted 
 that the time during which we usual- 
 ly denominate one a young man is 
 the most important and perilous period
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 19 
 
 of his whole existence. Then the pas- 
 sions, budding and hastening to ripe- 
 ness, become impatient of restraint, and 
 eager for gratification. Then the im- 
 agination, unchecked by experience, 
 paints the world in false and fascina- 
 ting colors, and teaches the young bo- 
 som to sigh after its forbidden pleasures. 
 Then springs up in the mind the rest- 
 less desire of independence and self- 
 control ; a disposition to throw off the 
 restraints of parental council and authori- 
 ty, and to think and act for itself Then 
 the social impulse is felt, and the young 
 man looks around for companions and 
 friends ; then the calling for life is cho- 
 sen, the principles of action adopted, 
 habits acquired, and those connections 
 in business and society formed, which 
 usually decide the character, and fix 
 the condition, both for this and the fu- 
 ture world. 
 
 The path to respectability, to useful- 
 ness and happiness, is open before you ; 
 so also is the path to infamy and
 
 20 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 wretchedness. And now the choice is 
 to be made ; you are now to enter up- 
 on that path which in all probabiUty 
 you will pursue through life, and which 
 will terminate in heaven or helL Such 
 are the dangers that encompass you, 
 and so little are persons, at your age, 
 aware of them, that there is great reason 
 to fear that you will mistake the road to 
 happiness, and wander into one of the 
 ten thousand ways that lead to ruin. 
 
 Young men are, in general, but little 
 aware of the danger which attends the 
 beginnings of evil. They readily 
 perceive the degrading and destructive 
 tendency of the grosser vices ; but 
 they are slow to believe, that there are 
 certain dispositions and habits which in- 
 evitably lead to those vices and their con- 
 sequent degradation and ruin. Hence, 
 while they shun the more open and fla- 
 grant offences, they are not afraid to 
 venture upon what are deemed little 
 sins, — upon slight deviations from du- 
 ty, — occasional indulgence of the ap-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 21 
 
 petites and passions. No mistake is 
 more common or more fatal than this. 
 It is the standing cause ot' ruin to the 
 characters and the souls of men. 
 All vicious habits commence in vrhat 
 are considered little sins. 
 
 But this is a general view of the 
 subject ; we wilf briefly notice a fevv* 
 of the temptations by which young 
 men are liable to be beset. 
 
 Gambling is a temptation to which 
 young men are exposed. This prac- 
 tice is unjust. It is unjust to take 
 the property of another, without re- 
 turning a proper equivalent therefor 
 — it amounts to robbery ; this the 
 gamester does. Gambling is unlawlul. 
 Laws were passed against it as early 
 as the reign of Q,ueen xAnne of Eng- 
 land. And.trom that period to the pre- 
 sent, in all well-regulated communities, 
 this practice has been forbidden by 
 law. It is an unprofitable occupation. 
 " It is certain," says Locke, " that ga- 
 ming leaves no satisfaction behind it to
 
 22 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 those who reflect when it is over ; and 
 it in no way profits either body or 
 mind." 
 
 Gambling is opposed to industry. 
 Those who occasionally win sums of 
 money by the turn of a card, or the 
 throw of a die, soon acquire a distaste 
 for the slower routine of acquiring 
 property by an industrious occupation. 
 It begets in them a feverish desire to 
 become wealthy in a moment, which 
 spurns a more tardy, yet surer process. 
 
 Gambling is ruinous in all its ten- 
 dencies and consequences. It is ruin- 
 ous to character. A gamester is des- 
 pised by the virtuous and enlightened, 
 and suspected even by his associates. 
 It is ruinous to morals. Its tendencies 
 are to blant the sensibilities as to those 
 nice distinctions of right and wrong, so 
 necessary to preserve purity of morals. 
 The gamester soon loses all regard to 
 truth, honesty and candor, and is com- 
 pelled to resort to falsehood and decep- 
 tion to obtain his object. This prac-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 23 
 
 tice is the fruitful source of every con- 
 ceivable vice and crime. Its natural 
 fruit is theft, robbery, murder, suicide, 
 forgery, perjury, intemperance, and ev- 
 ery species of licentiousness and sin. 
 Gambling is ruinous to property. How 
 many are reduced by it from affluence 
 to poverty ; how many throw away in 
 a single night the earnings of years of 
 industry ! The gamester can make 
 no safe calculations as to property. He 
 may possess a fortune this year, and 
 the next be clothed in the beggar's 
 rags. The chances that the latter will 
 be his condition are vastly the most nu- 
 merous. Where one gamester dies in 
 in affluence, a thousand end their days 
 poverty. 
 
 Intemperance is another temptation 
 which assails young men. The fatal 
 effects of this vice are written out in pic- 
 tures horridly true and vivid in every 
 town and hamlet throughout our 
 country. Broken fortunes, blasted an- 
 ticipations, ruined health, disgrace,
 
 24 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 hunger, want and suffering, are the 
 proUfic fruits of this wretched habit. 
 Young men, have you any desire to 
 be involved in these miserable circum- 
 stances ? do you desire degradation 
 and want 1 I anticipate your reply. 
 You start back with horror, and cry, 
 ' No ! God forbid !' And how do you 
 expect to avoid them ? By following 
 in precisely the same path that involv- 
 ed others in their toils ? — by imitating 
 that sot who in 5^outh drank whenever 
 occasion offered ? Your good sense 
 will dictate the danger of such a 
 course. There is one infallible rule, 
 and but one — by following Avhich ev- 
 ery young man may be certain of a- 
 voiding intemperance, and the long 
 catalogue of evils that invariably fol- 
 low in its train — and that is, to abstain 
 entirely from all drinks as a beverage, 
 that possess power to intoxicate, in all 
 places and under every circumstance. 
 This is your only safeguard. Ob- 
 serve this rule, and you are entirely
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 25 
 
 beyond the reach of the monster intem- 
 perance. But, break over this rule, 
 however slightly, and you are exposed 
 to great danger. 
 
 Avoid, ako, as far as possible, the 
 haunts of mtemperance, and the com- 
 pany of habitual drinkers of intoxica- 
 ting hquor, lest you become ensnared 
 by their evil examples. You should 
 give no countenance to the custom of 
 partaking of intoxicating drinks even 
 moderately ; but should bring both 
 your example and influence to bear a- 
 gainst a practice so fiaught with evil. 
 
 Dishonesty is another temptation 
 that besets the pathway of young men. 
 The desire for wealth becomes in 
 many so absorbing and uncontrolled, 
 that they violate all justice, hon- 
 esty and virtue, to gratify it. In your 
 business transactions many temptations 
 will beset you to defraud your neigh- 
 bor of that which is honestly his. 
 These temptations you must summon 
 c
 
 26 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 all your energies to withstand. Adopt 
 it as your motto through life to " ren- 
 der unto all their just dues." There 
 never Avas a maxim more true than 
 that " honesty is the best policy." Dis- 
 honesty, however much it may in- 
 crease your wealth, will make you 
 poorer in character, poorer in peace, 
 and in every real essential to human 
 enjoyment. True happiness consists 
 in a peaceful and contented mind ; and 
 he who possesses these requisites in the 
 highest degree is indeed the wealthiest 
 man ! Can ill-gotten riches bestow 
 this enjoyment ? As well may you 
 take coals of fire to your bosom and 
 not be burned. Be careful to have all 
 your dealings characterized by strict 
 honesty and integrity, and your satis- 
 faction and " peace shall be as a 
 river." 
 
 Another temptation is described in 
 the fifth chapter of Proverbs. Let ev- 
 ery young man read that chapter. Its 
 declarations are words of truth and so-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 27 
 
 berness. Let them be believed and 
 adhered to, and never permitted to es- 
 cape from your memory. So shall you 
 be saved from deep degradation and 
 W'Oe. 
 
 Theatres are a source of amusement 
 to which many young men habitually 
 resort. That theatres might be made 
 instructive — that they might be made 
 schools of morality and virtue — is un- 
 doubtedly true. But that they are 
 such, all know to be false. As they 
 are now managed, they are the foun- 
 tain, the very hot-bed of immorality. 
 Every vicious habit, and every sinful 
 propensity, there finds a stimulant. 
 Lewd songs, lewd dances, gestures and 
 expressions, are constantly brought to 
 the attention of the audience. And it 
 must be, that theatre-going people are 
 fond of these indelicate exhibitions, or 
 actors, whose interest it is to cater for 
 the public taste, would not dare to in- 
 dulge in them. Were these immorali- 
 ties to be indignantly frowned down, by
 
 28 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 the audience, upon every repre?enta-^ 
 tion, they would soon be banished from 
 the stage. But, as long as they are 
 received with evident marks of appro- 
 bation, these streams of pollution will 
 still continue to send their contamina- 
 tions into the hearts of thousands. 
 
 No young man can be in the habit of 
 attending theatres without extreme lia- 
 bility to become corrupted in every 
 principle. Dr. Griscom, of New York, 
 in a report made a few years ago, on 
 the causes of vice and crime in that 
 city, says : " Among the causes of vi- 
 cious excitement in our city, none ap- 
 pear to be so powerfiil in their na- 
 ture, as theatrical amusements." They 
 are among the most dangerous places 
 to which young men can resort for 
 amusement; and the safest course is 
 to abstain from them entirely. The 
 love for this amusement, like that for 
 alcohol, grows imperceptibly, until the 
 heedless youth becomes its slave and 
 its victim. And therefore, as in regard
 
 THE YODNG MAN. 29 
 
 to intoxicating drinks, the only point of 
 security, respecting the influence of 
 theatres, is total abstinence ! 
 
 We have mentioned a few of the 
 many temptations which beset young 
 men. Guard against them as deadly 
 foes to your happiness. Remember 
 that the vices assault the young in 
 gangs. Admit one vice, and it will 
 exert all its influence to make way for 
 another and another, — increasing in 
 strength as they multiply in numbers, 
 until you fall a prey to every species 
 of iniquity : — 
 
 ' The first crime passed, compels us into more, 
 And guilt grows /ate that was but choice before.'
 
 30 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 CHOICE OF A PROFESSION. 
 
 The choice of a pursuit in life, one of 
 the most important practical questions 
 upon which a young person is ever cal- 
 led to decide, is often determined by 
 the most trifling circumstances. One 
 youth becomes a soldier, because his 
 grandfather was at the taking of Cape 
 Breton, or his great uncle signalized 
 himself in Braddock's fight ; another 
 studies medicine, and hopes to be an al- 
 most infallible doctor, because he is 
 the seventh son of a seventh son ; while 
 another chooses the profession of law 
 for no better reason than that his spon- 
 sors at the baptismal font chose to call 
 him William Wirt, or Daniel Webster. 
 Surely this is not that practical wisdom 
 which adapts the fittest means to the 
 noblest ends. The choice of a profes- 
 sion is aX least worthy of such a consid-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 31 
 
 eration as common sense would dictate 
 in any other case, where success in an 
 enterprise depends upon fitness for un- 
 dertaking ii. Men do rot expect to 
 gather grapes from thorns, nor figs 
 from thistles, yet they expect their sons 
 and daughters to succeed in pursuits 
 for which they are wholly incapacita- 
 ted by talents, disposition, or education, 
 and, what is more unreasonable, they 
 expect them to be happy in situations 
 which are totally uncongenial to their 
 nature. 
 
 One reason why parents and guar- 
 dians fall so frequently into errors on 
 this point is the vain imagination that 
 there is a great and essential difference 
 in the respectability of those pursuits 
 which are generally admitted to be 
 honest. The respectability of a profes- 
 sion, I suppose it will be admitted, must 
 depend in a great measure on the 
 respectable character of its members, 
 taken collectively or with reference to 
 its most brilliant examples. If we
 
 32 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 adopt this method, it will be found no 
 easy matter to establish a claim to su- 
 perior respectability in favor of any one 
 trade or profession, or of any class of 
 trades or professions. 
 
 If it should be asserted that the 
 learned professions are more respecta- 
 ble than the pursuits of commerce, 
 mechanics, or agriculture, it might ea- 
 sily be shown that, taken collectively, 
 the members of these latter professions 
 or trades possess more wealth, ease and 
 independence, than those of the learned 
 ones ; and moreover, that, among 
 them, as brilliant examples of mental 
 pre-eminence, patriotism and public spi- 
 rit may be pointed out, as among those 
 of the more learned professions. 
 
 In fact, in a countiy like ours, such a 
 claim of superior respectability on be- 
 half of any profession is preposterous, 
 and yet it is constantly assigned by 
 ambitious parents as a reason for deter- 
 minating their children's pursuits in 
 life. There is a very general impres-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 33 
 
 sion that a merchant, a clergyman, doc- 
 tor or lawyer stands higher and should 
 stand higher, in the social scale, than a 
 mechanic or farmer. But such is not 
 the fact as a general principle ; or, 
 which results in the same thing, if, in a 
 particular instance, a particular mer- 
 chant, for example, stands higher in 
 social estimation, than a particular me- 
 chanic, it is not on account of the res- 
 pective means by which they earn their 
 livelihood, but because the merchant 
 in this instance has claims by wealth, 
 family influence or education, which 
 the mechanic has not ; and, by passing 
 into the next street, and taking anoth- 
 er example, you will find the tables 
 completely turned, and the mechanic 
 in the enjoyment of a social position to 
 which the merchant cannot aspire. 
 This fact is sufficient to prove that a 
 man of one trade or profession does not 
 take a lower position in society than 
 another of a ditierent profession, simply 
 on account of the different modes by
 
 34 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 whicli they subsist, but by reason of 
 other circumstances, wholly indepen- 
 dent of this consideration. Mr.A, who 
 is a merchant, does not for example 
 decline an intimate acquaintance with 
 Mr. B, because Mr. B is a mechanic, 
 but because their favorite topics of con- 
 versation, their tastes and pursuits are 
 different ; and this is apparent from 
 another fact, that, whenever such per- 
 sons happen to meet, frequently upon 
 some common ground of science or 
 moral reform, in their leisure hours, 
 they immediately recognise each oth- 
 er's natural equality and become fa- 
 miliar companions. 
 
 If, in every part of the United States, 
 the stupid prejudice which would ex- 
 clude the mechanic or the farmer from 
 any society to which his intelligence and 
 good manners entitle him, is not thor- 
 oughly exploded, the time has certain- 
 ly arrived when it is no longer to be 
 avowed by w^ell-bred people. In fact 
 the rule which would exclude a man
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 35 
 
 the simple ground of his being a me- 
 chanic, would have excluded from the 
 same room such men as Nathaniel 
 Bowditch, who was a mariner by trade ; 
 Roger Sherman, who was a shoema- 
 ker by trade ; Benjamin Franklin, late 
 ambassador to the court of Versailles, 
 who was a printer by trade ; and 
 George Washington, a very respecta- 
 ble man of the last century, who was a 
 surveyor by trade. 
 
 But the imaginary respectability 
 which a man may happen to enjoy 
 from his position in society, is not by 
 any means the first and most important 
 thing to be considered in the choice of 
 a profession. It should not be the lead- 
 ing motive in determining the choice 
 of the parent ; neither should it be the 
 main consideration in the mind of the 
 young person himself There is anoth- 
 er, and a much more important point, 
 which claims and should receive the 
 precedence. Every parent, in making
 
 3b THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 choice of a profession for a son, 
 and every son, in making the same 
 choice for himself, should seriously 
 and deliberately inquire, what profes- 
 sion affords the best chance for happi- 
 ness ; — happiness, in the noblest and 
 broadest sense — happiness, which con- 
 sists in contentment, independence, and 
 real usefulness — happiness, which be- 
 gins in the conscientious and success- 
 ful discharge of duty on earth, and 
 reaches forward to the unerring retri- 
 bution of a future world. 
 
 ACQUISITION OF PROPERTY. 
 
 There are many who speak of riches, 
 and their uses, in a way injurious to 
 the truth. Indeed, very few are able 
 to enforce their doctrine by their prac- 
 tice, who speak of riches as of that 
 which is not really valuable. For all
 
 THE YOCNG MAN. 37 
 
 who live need the things of this life, 
 which cannot be obtained without prop- 
 erty or its equivalent. 
 
 The desire to possess more property 
 than is sufficient for our present main- 
 tenance, is almost universal. It may 
 be said to be a law of our nature. And 
 it is so for very wise and benevolent 
 purposes. From this common desire, 
 may it not be presumed that it is a du- 
 ty to be rich ? One thing is certain ; 
 no man can be obedient to God's will, 
 as revealed in the Bible, without, as 
 the general result, becoming wealthy. 
 It is the duty of ail men to be dili- 
 gent. The command, " Six days 
 shaltthou labor," is as positive, as "On 
 the seventli thou shalt do no work." 
 Neither is optional. Both are imper- 
 ative. We must work, we must rest. 
 Paul says, •' If any would not work, 
 neither should he eat ;" and Timothy, 
 '• If any provide not for his own, and, 
 especially for his own house, (or kin-
 
 38 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 dred,) he hath denied the faith, and is 
 worse than an infidel." 
 
 Wastefulness is a sin. The prodi- 
 gal wasted his estate. This was a 
 part of his sin against heaven. He 
 that is slothful in his work, is brother 
 to " him that is a great waster." Of 
 the wicked it is said, " wasting and de- 
 struction are in their paths." 
 
 Prudence is a duty. " He, that is 
 surety for a stranger, shall smart for 
 it ; and he that hateth suretyship is 
 sure." " A good man showeth favor, 
 and lendeth ; he will guide his affairs 
 with discretion." 
 
 Now if men attend to these duties, 
 and they cannot neglect them without 
 ^sin, they will, as the general result, be- 
 come rich. God has said so. " He 
 becometh poor that dealeth with a 
 slack hand ; but the hand of the dili- 
 gent maketh rich." " The hand of 
 the diligent shall bear rule, but the 
 slothful shall be under tribute." " The 
 soul of the diligent shall be made fat."
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 39 
 
 God has promised riches as rewards. 
 " Blessed is the man that fears the 
 Lord, that greatly delighteth in his 
 commands ; — riches and wealth shall 
 be in his house." "'Abraham was made 
 very rich in cattle, and silver, and 
 gold." God gave wealth to Solomon 
 as a reward. He also blessed Job. after 
 his severe afflictions, Avith astonishing 
 ■wealth. Now would God have given 
 these rules, and required obedience to 
 them ; would he have made these 
 promises and fulfilled them, if it were a 
 sin to be rich 1 If then it is not a sin, 
 if riches are blessings, it is not wrong 
 to desire, to acquire, nor to enjoy them. 
 It is not affirmed that this desire may 
 not be carried to a sinful length. It 
 often is. But in itself, it is certainly a 
 duty. IN'or is it said that providential 
 circumstances may not make men poor ; 
 and that all poor men are disobedient 
 to God. But. in general, poverty is a 
 sin, and it always is so, when it results 
 from idleness, wastefulness, want of dis-
 
 40 THE yOUXG MAN. 
 
 cretlon, and of prudence in the manage- 
 ment, of our affairs. 
 
 We are not required, as a general 
 rule, to give away ail that we have to 
 benevolent institutions. There are du- 
 ties of a social, domestic, and private 
 nature, which require tire possession of 
 pecuniary means, in order that they 
 may be performed. It is the duty of 
 all men to provide for their families, so 
 as to leave them independent. " If any 
 provide not for his own, and especially 
 for those of his own house, (or kindred) 
 he hath denied the faith, and is worse 
 than an infidel." From the wdiole 
 scope of this passage, it is evident that 
 men cannot, without sin, needlessly 
 leave their families dependent on the 
 charities of the world. But that they 
 are bound to diminish rather than to 
 increase the miseries of society. We 
 must provide for our own families ; 
 not only tor their present wants, but for 
 their future support. Of course, we 
 have no right to give away to others,
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 4l 
 
 or for other objects, that which is ne- 
 cessary for the support of our fami- 
 lies. When circumstances, overv/hich 
 we have no control, make us poor, 
 and leave us and our families de- 
 pendent, we must accept, with thank- 
 fulness, the provision made for us. 
 But it is not our duty to place our- 
 selves or our families in such a state, 
 or to put it out of our power to prevent 
 our relatives from being similarly situ- 
 ated. This is the general principle. 
 There may be exceptions to it. 
 
 It is evident, from the loregoing re- 
 marks, that the gospel does not justify 
 voluntary poverty, either from idleness, 
 a morbid sensibility, or a mistaken 
 generosity. There is a "beautiful har- 
 mony in all the christian duties. And 
 when we learn and practise them, not 
 in the indulgence of highly excited 
 feelings, or of favorite objects, but in 
 the hght of soberness and of truth, they 
 are most lovely and delightful. There
 
 42 THE YOUNG MAST. 
 
 is reason to fear that injury has been 
 done to the flow of religious and of 
 generous feelings by the partial views 
 which some have given on this subject. 
 Men have been urged to give more than 
 their duty required. When the excite- 
 ment has subsided, anything but pleas- 
 ure attends their efforts to redeem their 
 pledge. A re-action takes place, and 
 they lose all confidence in the belief 
 that charity confers happiness. The 
 truth never would do this. But, be 
 this as it may, we cannot enjoy 
 the approbation of our own conscien- 
 ces or of God, unless we obey him in 
 every duty. And when, from any 
 cause which we could prevent, we are 
 unable to do our duty, we sin. 
 
 The general rule by which our cha- 
 rity is to be regulated is this : " Every 
 man shall give as he is able, according 
 to the blessing of the Lord thy Godj 
 which he hath given thee." " Upon 
 the first day of the week let every one 
 of you lay by in store, as God hath
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 43 
 
 prospered him." There is no doubt 
 but that intelligent obedience to this rule 
 would furnish all that is required for 
 charity, and still leave enough in our 
 hands to perform every other duty, and 
 to enjoy every lawful pleasure. 
 
 But the amount that a man has to 
 give, and the objects to which he 
 gives, the amount he withholds and the 
 objects he refuses to aid, are questions 
 which he must settle with his conscience 
 and with his Judge. God will deter- 
 mine on the demerit of his giving or 
 withholding. He has said, " He that 
 soweth sparingly, shall reap also spa- 
 ringly ; and he that soweth bountiful- 
 ly shall reap also bountifully. Every 
 man, according as he purposes in his 
 heart, so let him give, not grudgingly, 
 or of necessity, for God loveth a cheer- 
 ful giver."
 
 44 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 LUCK AND CHANCE. 
 
 Our present design is to show that 
 Fate, Luck. Chance, Happy Stars, 
 Genius, and the rest of these creatures 
 of pagan mythology, take no part in 
 the administration of God's providence. 
 The developement of the tiniest blade 
 of grass is not left to their agency, nor 
 to any felicitous accident, nor any acci- 
 dental influence. I wish this truth to 
 lie at the foundation of all your actions 
 and form the basis of your education ; 
 so that, in setting out in life, you shall 
 not feel as if sitting down to a game of 
 desperate hazards, where all is to de- 
 pend upon the caprice of a heathenish 
 fortune, or fate. Let me conjure you 
 to avoid the old hereditary sin of the 
 professedly christian world, and offer no 
 incense to these false deities. Banish 
 the whole brood of these idolatrous con-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 45 
 
 ceits from your mind, and believe that 
 the God of the Bible is at the helm of 
 all human affairs ; a God of order, sys- 
 tem, and philosophy. And while you 
 believe this, never, no, never ascribe 
 any success to luck ; predicate no ex- 
 pectation upon the blind decisions of 
 chance. I am the more earnest that 
 you should start with right impressions 
 in this matter, as I have witnessed so 
 many cases where this solitary error 
 has drowned young men in sleepy in- 
 dolence. I have known scores of young 
 men lounging about the streets with 
 their hands in their pockets, waiting for 
 a chance ., or ?in opening^ as they gener- 
 ally call it ; as if expecting Providence 
 to make an opening through the win- 
 dows of heaven, to rain down upon 
 them a shower of good hick, as a re- 
 ward of their hstless inactivity. 
 
 Will there he an opening for me 7 
 is a question which every young man 
 may naturally be inclined to ask. And if 
 jt is addressed to the providence of God,
 
 46 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 and not to the pagan shrine of Fate, it 
 is one that can be easily and satisfacto- 
 rily answered. Let me, then, adduce 
 a few data for the solution of this im- 
 portant problem. In proposing the 
 question. Will there be an opening 
 for me ? let me take it for granted, 
 that you do not expect such an open- 
 ing from any impulsive humor of Prov- 
 idence, or any amendment or repeal of 
 its present laws or provisions. Then, 
 you would ask, what provisions there 
 are already enacted to develope the fac- 
 ulties of your mind, increase your ca- 
 pacity of usefulness, and insure a rich 
 and unfailing reward to a virtuous ap- 
 plication and trustful industry ? If em- 
 bodied in this inquiry, the question is 
 one that gives me great pleasure to 
 answer. 
 
 Let me remind you, what God has 
 done for every stalk of wheat, for every 
 blade of grass or corn ; and then leave 
 it to your own reflection to decide, 
 whether he has done less for the devel-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN, 47 
 
 opement of the human mind, for which 
 all things seen or temporal on this 
 earth were made. 
 
 Just look over into a field of grain in 
 summer, and contemplate a single stalk 
 of corn ; and consider what Providence 
 has done for that, not accidentally, but 
 specifically. That kernel of corn, when 
 it was first committed to the ground, 
 needed for its expansion, a thousand 
 specific influences, not one of which 
 could be brought to bear upon it, with- 
 out the creation and economy of the 
 whole a)lar system. Were that stalk 
 of corn the only one to be produced on 
 this planet, it would re^juire, for its per- 
 fection, all the physical laws and ma- 
 chinery of the system, which bring in 
 the seasons with all their soft alterna- 
 tions of temperature, light, and shade. 
 
 Now, long before man was made, all 
 these physical provisions for the welfare 
 of that stalk of corn, were created. No 
 farmer es'er sows or plants his field with 
 any doubt in his mind with regard to
 
 48 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 the certainty of these provisions. But 
 he knows that it might rain and shine 
 upon his land forever, and all be in 
 vain unless he complied with the irre- 
 pealable requisition of Providence, and 
 planted and cultured that stalk of corn. 
 His labor is just as essential as the rain 
 and dew, light and heat. If he sees 
 fit to labor on that stalk of corn. Provi- 
 dence will w^ork with him in fair co- 
 partnership ; and not only insure, but 
 proportion his reward according to his 
 labor. 
 
 In the words of another, " Nothing 
 is more deceptive or pernicious than the 
 idea which is entertained by some that 
 the rich obtain their wealth without ex- 
 ertion ; merely by " good luck." There 
 is no sure way of getting money but 
 by industry ; no way of keeping it so 
 as to grow rich, but by economy. The 
 foundations of great fortunes are to be 
 traced to small beginnings, small profits, 
 and frugal expenditures. The man 
 who desires to grow rich must never
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 49 
 
 wait to acquire large sums before he 
 begins to save. The economy of small 
 expenses lays the corner-stone of wealth. 
 It is the small dribbles that waste the 
 substance and keep men poor, if they 
 are not careful to restrain their outgo- 
 ings. The philosopher's stone is no 
 fiction. He who labors with industry, 
 and lives with economy, will find it, at 
 the bottom of the crucible of life, to re- 
 ward his toil and compensate him for 
 his virtue. It was a favorite theme with 
 Girard that he commenced life with 
 a sixpence ; and that man's best cap- 
 ital was industry. He died worth 
 10,000,000 !" 
 
 In a word, he that gets all he can 
 honestly, and saves all he gets, neces- 
 sary expenses excepted, will certainly 
 become rich, if that Being who governs 
 the world, to whom all should look for 
 a blessing on their honest endeavors, 
 does not, in his wise providence, other- 
 wise determines.
 
 60 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 
 
 How often do we discover people of 
 the character generally denominated 
 "jfickle-minded." They are seldom satis- 
 fied with their present condition or em- 
 ployment — preferring almost any other 
 situation to the one they happen to oc- 
 cupy, and any other business to that in 
 which they are engaged. Their minds 
 are usually filled with some new and 
 wonderful project, or employed in un- 
 folding some magnificent discovery, 
 which they believe will astonish the 
 world, and bring inexhaustible wealth 
 into their possession. - Such people are 
 generally industrious — not, however, 
 in that steady application to useful bu- 
 siness which will in time yield a certain 
 reward, — but in building stupendous 
 and beautiful castles in the air, which
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 51 
 
 are reared this hour only to be demol- 
 ished the next. 
 
 The minds of men naturally differ 
 very materially in respect to firmness 
 and stability of purpose ; but a defi- 
 ciency in these valuable qualifications 
 need not be an irreparable defect. It 
 can to a good degree be remedied by 
 proper exertion and application. When 
 you become sensible that your mind is 
 constitutionally inclined to fickleness 
 and instability — (and a little candid 
 selt^-examination will enlighten you up- 
 on this point,) you should then call up 
 all your energies to counteract this ten- 
 dency — and it should be your study to 
 strengthen these weak properties of the 
 mind, by a constant and watchful guard 
 upon its operations. By proper exer- 
 tion the mind can be trained into a 
 good degree of firmness and decision, 
 so that its promptings may not be 
 changed by every varying wind. By 
 obtaining the mastery over your mental 
 powers, you may concentrate them
 
 52 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 upon any given subject within your 
 comprehension, and search out its foun- 
 dation, its bearings and influences, and 
 ascertain the weight of the claims it 
 has upon your attention. 
 
 To act safely^ requires you to act 
 wisely, cautiously, and firn)ly. You 
 should ponder well all the measures you 
 adopt ; never enter upon any important 
 undertaking rashly, at the impulse of 
 any fleeting emotion, but be deliberate 
 and reflective — examine it in all its 
 bearings, and weigh well its probable 
 results. Give yourself no labor in ex- 
 amining the bright side, for that will 
 usually present itself in colors sufficient- 
 ly attractive. But be diligent in thor- 
 oughly investigating the dark side of 
 the picture. Look with a scrutinizing 
 eye at the worst aspect it can assume 
 — endeavor to discover its greatest dis- 
 advantages and its most remote liabili- 
 ties to failure. And, from all your 
 means of information, deliberately form 
 your judgment as to the most proper
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 53 
 
 course to pursue. And when you have 
 once engaged in any honorable occupa- 
 tion, or entered into any proper branch 
 of business, let all instability and doubt 
 and fickleness be banished from the 
 mind — call into requisition all your ef- 
 fective powers — be industrious, perse- 
 vering, economical, and patient — let no 
 new visionary scheme charm your at- 
 tention into another channel — and 
 you will be on the high road that leads 
 to prosperity. Let not the stability of 
 your mind be shaken by disappoint- 
 ment, nor by misfortunes. " Don't be 
 discouraged, if in the outset of life 
 things do not go on smoothly. It sel- 
 dom happens that the hopes we cher- 
 ish of the future are realized. The 
 path of life in the prospect appears 
 smooth and level enough. The journey 
 is a laborious one, and, whether poor 
 or wealthy, high or low, we shall find 
 it to our disappointment if we build up- 
 on another calculation. To endure 
 what is to be endured with as much
 
 54 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 cheerfulness as possible, and to elbow 
 our way through the great crowd, ho- 
 ping for little, yet striving for much, is 
 perhaps the true plan. But don't be 
 discouraged if occasionally you slip 
 down by the way, and your neigh- 
 bors tread over you a little — in other 
 w^ords, don't let a failure or two dis- 
 hearten you. Accidents happen — mis- 
 calculations will sometimes be made — 
 things will turn out differently from our 
 expectations, and we may be sufferers. 
 Fortune is like the skies in April, some- 
 times cloudy, and sometimes clear and 
 favorable ; and, as it would be folly to 
 despair of again seeing the sun, be- 
 cause to-day it is stormy, so it is unwise 
 to sink into despondency when fortune 
 frowns ; since, in the common course 
 of things, she may surely be expected 
 to smile again. Don't be discouraged 
 under any circumstances. Go steadily 
 forward. Rather consult your own 
 conscience than the opinions of men, 
 though the latter are not to be diyre-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 55 
 
 garded. Be industrious ; be frugal ; 
 deal in perfect kindness with all, exer- 
 cising an obliging spirit in your whole 
 intercourse ; and if you do not prosper 
 as rapidly as any of your neighbors, de- 
 pend upon it, you will be as happy. 
 
 Thrifty habits in the poor, and ex- 
 travagant habits in the rich, are our 
 true levellers. 
 
 CAUTION IN COMIVIENCING BUSINESS, 
 
 When the period of your minority has 
 expired, and you grow ambitious of ap- 
 pearing your own master, consider it as 
 an affair that is to influence your whole 
 future life. Many, by their haste and 
 precipitation in this particular, have 
 only hastened their own undoing ; and, 
 to get rid of a gentle subjection, have 
 rendered themselves the slaves of want
 
 56 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 and wretchedness. To set up and 
 miscarry is like the blast to the blos- 
 som ; if it does not absolutely kill, it 
 leaves it diseased. Hold the rein then 
 tight on your impatience, and examine 
 the ground over and over again before 
 you start for the prize. It has been 
 observed that few or none thrive, who 
 set up the moment they are out of the 
 leading-strings as it were ; hope has 
 too great an ascendency at that time of 
 life, and the youth is sanguine enough 
 to begin where his old master left off. 
 But the ship that sets out with all sail 
 and no ballast, is sure to turn bottom 
 upwards. 
 
 Would you, therefore, be persuaded 
 to tread the same steps that have car- 
 ried many through life with credit to 
 themselves, enter for a year or two into 
 the service of the shrewdest and most 
 experienced person of your profession. 
 You will learn more dexterity and ad- 
 dress in the procuring and dispatch of 
 business during^ that interval, than in
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 57 
 
 the whole seven years you had served 
 already. It will besides give you leis- 
 ure to look round for a proper place to 
 settle in, where there is a vacancy that 
 you may hope to fill with success ; and 
 likewise to select those dealers who will 
 be likely to serve you best on one hand, 
 and to court those customers who give 
 the surest pay and the largest orders, 
 on the other. Or, if you are too weary 
 of servitude and dependence to endure 
 it any longer, enter into partnership 
 with such a one as is above described ; 
 and though you may expect he will 
 manage so, that the contract shall ra- 
 ther inchne to his advantage, you will 
 be a gainer upon the whole ; thencefor- 
 ward his experience, his address, and 
 his sagacity, will be yours ; and, for the 
 sake of his own interest and character, 
 he will be equally vigilant of yours.
 
 68 THE YOUNG MAN, 
 
 REGULAR HOURS. 
 
 These are among the most important 
 means of heakh and long life. You 
 may educate both the body and the 
 mind to almost any kind of regular 
 habits, but you can never accommo- 
 date them to irregularities. They 
 must know what to expect, and must 
 not be disappointed. Having accus- 
 tomed your stomach, for instance, to re- 
 ceive its food at a particular hour, when 
 that hour arrives it will be prepared to 
 digest it. But if you eat an hour or 
 two sooner, the stomach is taken by sur- 
 prise : it is unprepared for its task, 
 and consequently will do its work bad- 
 ly ; as will be indicated by headache, 
 stupor, or some other morbid symptom.s. 
 The same is true in regard to sleep. 
 Accustom yourself to retire to bed at a 
 particular time ; and when that time
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 59 
 
 comes, your eyelids will almost irresis- 
 tibly close. Retire to rest then, and 
 you will almost immediately fall into 
 sweet and refreshing sleep ; but. pass 
 an hour or two over that time, and a 
 morbid wakefulness will ensue, from 
 which you will afterwards find it diffi- 
 cult to compose yourself to sleep. The 
 effect upon )"our health and spirits will 
 be sad the next day. 
 
 The same principle holds in securing 
 the regular function of the bowels, so 
 essential to health. There is probably 
 nothing which costs so little attention, 
 and yet contributes so much to the 
 healthy action of the whole system. 
 To secure this effectually it is necessa- 
 ry to observe the most punctual and 
 exact regularity possible. Very obsti- 
 nate constipation may thus be over- 
 come. 
 
 To be out at nights, beyond the 
 usual hour for retiring, to be irregular 
 in the time of your meals, to indulge 
 the bed in the morning, to neglect ex-
 
 60 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 ercise, to fail of adapting yonr dress 
 to the weather, and to your circum- 
 stances of exposure — such things may 
 seem to you trifles now ; you may not 
 perceive that they injure you ; but they 
 are exhausting that fountain, which, 
 while full, may give no indications of 
 diminution, but when nearly gone will 
 reveal to you what I now tell you. 
 
 We can hardly conceive of the point 
 of energy to which a man may raise 
 himself, and the amount of labor which 
 he can accomplish, with not only safety 
 but advantage to his health, by habits 
 of strict regularity. 
 
 I do not mean to say that a man can 
 never deviate a little from his usual 
 course without injury ; it is sometimes 
 necessary to do this ; I speak of the 
 general habit. It is sometimes well 
 to omit a meal, in order to let the or- 
 gans of digestion rest. Unless you live 
 very abstemiously, you will probably 
 do well to fast from at least one meal 
 every week ; but when you do this,
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 61 
 
 3-0U should eat nothing until the time 
 for the next meal arrives ; and then 
 do not double the quantity. As a 
 general rule, it is not good to eat be- 
 tween meals. It tends to vitiate the 
 secretions and disturb the regular op- 
 erations of nature. Never take suppers 
 before retiring. 
 
 TEMPERANCE. 
 
 This practice is viewed by the apostle 
 Peter as a cardinal virtue, and Paul 
 remarks, " Every man, that striveth 
 for the mastery, is temperate in all 
 things." I shall here touch only upon 
 two particulars, eating and drinking. 
 In these no rule can be given which 
 will accurately apply in all things to 
 every individual. Says Gregory, '" It 
 is not the quantity or quality of the 
 meat and drink, but the love of it, that
 
 62 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 is condemned," — the inordinate attach- 
 ment to it. Water is the natural and 
 best beverage for man. This is the 
 opinion of the most respectable physi- 
 cians, and of the most considerate part 
 of the community. But even of water 
 so much may be used as to be detri- 
 mental. An unnecessary quantity has 
 a tendency to weaken the system gen- 
 erally, and in a particular manner the 
 digestive organs. Almost all other li- 
 quids used as a beverage are injurious, 
 in a greater or less degree. As for the 
 use of distilled spirits, it would seem 
 that there could be but one opinion, 
 since the subject has been so largely 
 discussed, and so much light has been 
 thrown upon it at the present day. No 
 new arguments can be presented, nor 
 need there be, to induce you to ad- 
 vocate the cause of temperance. Rea- 
 son and revelation, the motives of three 
 worlds proclaim, as with the voice of 
 seven thunders, in the monitory lan- 
 guage, " Touch not ; taste not ; han-
 
 THE YOCNG MAN. 63 
 
 idle not ;" — Total abstinence forever. 
 "** Temperate drinking is the down-hill 
 road to intemperance," and " Entire 
 ■abstinence from ardent spirits is the ordy 
 certain preventive of intemperance." 
 These mottoes should be inscribed up- 
 on the door-posts of every house, that 
 the destroying angel may pass by. 
 Like the phylacteries of the Jews, they 
 should be fastened upon the forehead 
 of every man, upon his wrists, and 
 upon the hem of his garments, that 
 they may be as amulets or preserva- 
 tives to himself and others. 
 
 The injunction, " Do thyself no 
 harm," may be applied to the unlaw- 
 ful indulgence of appetite in eating. 
 ^'Temperance," says sir William Tem- 
 ple, " consists in a regular, simple diet, 
 regulated by every man's experience of 
 his own easy digestion." General rules, 
 in respect to regimen, may be advan- 
 tageously prescribed, but there will be 
 many exceptions, owing to constitution, 
 health, employment, and other circum-
 
 64 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 stances. Food should be simple, nu- 
 tritious, plainly prepared, and receiv- 
 ed regularly in moderate quantities. 
 Three meals in a day, and one dish at 
 a meal, are considered the most favor- 
 able to health. Abstemiousness great- 
 ly prevailed among the Grecians. 
 Though they ate at different times, yet 
 they indulged themselves with but one 
 full meal in a day. Most of the an- 
 cient philosophers were patterns of tem- 
 perance, and lived principally on vege- 
 table food. The early Christians, too, 
 were remarkable for their temperance 
 in eating. Multitudes, in various pe- 
 riods, have been specially regardful of 
 their diet, and have profited by it in 
 health and longevity. The subject of 
 dietetics has been much discussed at the 
 present day, and no doubt much bene- 
 fit has been derived from its dis- 
 cussion. 
 
 It has been noticed that those who 
 read and converse much on dietetics,jare 
 frequently most afflicted with dispepsy
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 65 
 
 and its train of evils. This is to be 
 accounted tor principally from the fact 
 that, because they are afflicted with 
 this malady, they read and converse 
 respecting it ; and also, in part, from 
 the fact, that because they thus read 
 and converse, they are thus afflicted. 
 I am constrained to believe that an 
 anxious solicitude on the subject has a 
 very injurious effect on the health, and 
 therefore this should not be indulged. 
 As a general rule, spend an hour a day 
 in taking your meals ; masticate your 
 food thoroughly, and receive your re- 
 freshments with a cheerful and thank- 
 ful heart. Never indulge in luxuri- 
 ous living, but hold in utter detestation 
 the epicurean character.
 
 68 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 DILIGENCE AND PUNCTUALITY. 
 
 We extract the following just remarks 
 from Cobbett's " Advice to Young 
 Men." First of all, in importance to 
 you, is the husbanding of your time. 
 Tii€ respect that you will receive, the 
 real and sincere respect, will depend 
 entirely on what you are able to do. 
 If you be rich, you may purchase what 
 is called respect ; but it is not worth 
 having. To obtain respect worth pos- 
 sessing, you must do more than the 
 common run of men in your state of 
 life ; and to be enabled to do this, you 
 must manage well your time ; and to 
 do this, you must have as much of the 
 day-ligfh, and a little of the candle- 
 hght, as is consistent with the due dis- 
 charge of your duties. When people 
 get into the habit of sitting up, merely 
 for the purpose of talking, it is no easy
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 67 
 
 matter to break themselves of it ; and 
 if they do not go to bed early, they 
 cannot rise early. Young people re- 
 quire more sleep than those that are 
 grown up ; there must be the number 
 of hours, and that number cannot well 
 be, on an average, less than eight ; 
 and if it be more in winter time, it 
 is all the better, for an hour in bed is 
 better than an hour spent in idle gos- 
 sip. People should never sit talking 
 till they do not know what to talk a- 
 bout. It is said, by the country people, 
 that one hour's sleep before midnight 
 is worth more than two hours' sleep are 
 after midnight, and this I believe to be 
 a fact. But it is useless to go to bed 
 early, and even to rise early, if the 
 time be not well employed after ri- 
 sing. In general, half the morning is 
 loitered away. Those w^ho first in- 
 vented morning gowns and slippers 
 could have very little else to do. These 
 things are very suitable for those who 
 have had fortunes gained for them by
 
 DO THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 Others ; very suitable for those who hve 
 merely to consume the produce of the 
 earth ; but he who has his bread to earn, 
 or who means to be worthy of respect, on 
 account of his ]abors,has no business with 
 morning gown and slippers. In short, 
 be your business or calling what it may, 
 dress at once for the day, and learn 
 to do it as quickly as possible. A 
 looking-glass is a great deal worse than 
 ■useless. Looking at the face will not 
 alter its shape or its color ; and per- 
 haps of all wasted time, none is so fool- 
 ishly wasted as that which is spent in 
 surveying one's own face. Nothing 
 can be of little importance, if one be 
 compelled to attend to it every day of 
 our lives ; if we shaved but once a 
 year, or once a month, it would hardly 
 be Avorth naming ; but this is a piece of 
 work that must be done every day ; 
 and as it may cost only about^r^ min- 
 utes of time, and may be and frequently 
 is made to cost thirty, or even fifty min- 
 utes, this is a matter of real impor- 
 
 I
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 69 
 
 tance. I once heard Sir John Sinclair 
 ask Mr. Cochrane Johnstone whether 
 he meant to have a son of his (then a 
 little boy) taught Latin. " No," said 
 Mr. Johnstone, " but I mean to do 
 something a srreat deal better for him." 
 " What is Ihat ?" said Sir John. 
 " Why," said the other, '' teach him 
 to shave with cold water, and icithoiit 
 a glass.'^ Which, I dare say, he did ; 
 and for which benefit, that son has had 
 good reason to be grateful. Only think 
 of the inconvenience attending the com- 
 mon practice ! There must be hot 
 water ; to have this, there must be 
 fire ; and in some cases a fire for this 
 purpose alone. For want of these, the 
 job is put oft', until a later hour ; this 
 causes a stripping, and another dres- 
 sing- bold ; or you go in a slovenly 
 state all day, and, the next day, the 
 thing omi-st be done, or cleanliness a- 
 bandoned altogether. If you be on a 
 journey, you must wait the pleasure of 
 the servants at the inn, betore you can
 
 70 THE YOUNG MAR. 
 
 dress and set out in the morning ; the 
 pleasant time for travelUng is gone be- 
 fore you can move from the spot ; in- 
 stead of being at the end of your day's 
 journe}" in good time, you are benight- 
 ed, and have to endure all the incon- 
 veniences attendant on taidy move- 
 ments. And all this from the, appa- 
 rently, insignificant affair of shaving ! 
 How many a piece of important busi- 
 ness has failed from a short delay ! 
 And how many of these delays proceed 
 from this unworthy cause 1 
 
 " Be always ready," was the motto 
 of a famous French general ; and pray 
 let it be yours, and never, during your 
 whole life, have to say, " 1 cannot go 
 till I be shaved and dressed." Do the 
 whole at once, for the day, whatever be 
 your state of life ; and then you have a 
 day unbroken by those indispensable 
 performances. Begin thus in the days 
 of your youth, and, having felt the su- 
 periority which this practice will give 
 you over those, in all other respects
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. ?1 
 
 your equals, the practice will stick by 
 you, to the end of your lite. Till you 
 be shaved and dressed for the day, you 
 cannot set steadily about any business j 
 you know that you must presently quit 
 your labor to return to the dressing af- 
 fair ; you therefore put it off until that 
 be over ; and the interval, the precious 
 interval, is spent in lounging about ; 
 and by the time that you are ready for 
 business, the best part of the day is 
 gone- 
 Trifling as the matter appears, upon 
 naming it, it is in fact one of the great 
 concerns of life, and for ray part I can 
 truly say that 1 owe more of my great 
 labors to my strict adherence to the 
 principles that I have given you, than 
 to all the natural abilities with which I 
 have beon endowed. For these would 
 have been of comparatively little use, 
 even aided by great sobriet}' and absti- 
 nence, if 1 had not, in early life, con- 
 tracted the blessed habit of husbanding 
 well my time. To this, more than to
 
 72 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 any thing else, I owed my very extra- 
 ordinary promotion in the army. I was 
 always ready ; and if I had to mount 
 guard at ten, I was ready at nine ; 
 never did any man, or any thing, wait 
 one moment for me. Being at an age 
 under twenty years, raised from corpo- 
 ral to sergeant-major at once, over the 
 heads of thirty sergeants, I naturally 
 should have been an object of envy 
 and hatred ; but this habit of early ri- 
 sing, and of rigid adherence to the pre- 
 cepts which I have given you, really 
 subdued those passions, because every 
 one felt that what I did he had never 
 done and never could do. Before my 
 promotion a clerk was wanted to make 
 out the morning report of the regiment. 
 I rendered the clerk unnecessary ; and 
 long before any other man was dressed 
 for the parade, my work for the morn- 
 ing was all done, and I myself was on 
 the parade, walking in fine weather for 
 an hour perhaps. 
 
 My custom was this, to get up in
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 73 
 
 four o'clock ; shave, dress, even to the 
 putting of my sword-belt on my shoul- 
 der, and having my sword lying on 
 the table before me, ready to hang by 
 my side. I ate a bit of cheese, or pork, 
 and bread. Then I prepared my re- 
 port, which was filled up as fast as the 
 companies brought me in the materials. 
 After this I had an hour or two to read 
 before the time came for any duty out 
 of doors, unless when the regiment 
 went out to exercise in the morning. 
 When this w^as the case, and the mat- 
 ter was left to me, I always had it on 
 the ground in such time as that the 
 bayonets glistened in the rising sun ; 
 a sight which gave me delight, of which 
 I often think, but which I should in 
 vain endeavor to describe. If the offi- 
 cers were to go out, eight or ten o'clock 
 was the hour, sweating the men in the 
 heat of the day, breaking in upon the 
 time for cooking their dinner, putting 
 F
 
 74 The young man". 
 
 all things out of order, and all the men 
 out of humor. When I was comman- 
 der, the men had a long day of leisure 
 before them ; they could ramble into 
 the town, or into the woods ; go to 
 get raspberries, to catch birds, to catch 
 fish, or to pursue any other recreation, 
 and, such of them as chose, to work at 
 their trades. So that here, arising 
 from the early habits of one very 
 young man, were pleasant and happy 
 days given to hundreds. 
 
 Money is said to be power, which is, 
 in some cases, true, and the same may 
 be said of knowledge, but superior 
 sobriety, industry, and activity, are a 
 still more certain source of power ; for, 
 ivithout these, knowledge is of little 
 use, and as to the power that money 
 gives, it is that of brute force ; it is the 
 power of the bludgeon and the bayonet, 
 and of the bribed press, tongue, and 
 pen. Superior sobriet}^, industry, and 
 activity, though accompanied with but 
 a moderate portion of knowletlge, com-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 75 
 
 inand respect, because they have great 
 and visible influence. All those whose 
 interests are at stake, prefer, of necessi- 
 ty, those whose exertions produce the 
 greatest, and most immediate and 
 visible etTects. 
 
 Self-interest is no respecter of per- 
 sons ; it asks, not u'ho knows best what 
 ought to be done, but who is most like- 
 ly to do it ; we may, and ot\en do ad- 
 mire the talents of lazy and even dis- 
 sipated men, but we do not tiTist them 
 with the care of our interests. If, 
 therefore, you would have respect and 
 influence in the circle in which you 
 move, be more sober, more industrious, 
 and more active than the general run 
 of those amongst whom yoa live.
 
 76 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 
 FAITHFULNESS. 
 
 Faithfulness is a habit Avhich the 
 young should cuUivate. What more 
 desirable qualification can a young man 
 possess, than faithfulness to his emjjloy- 
 ers, in the discharge of all business and 
 interest intrusted to his disposal. Once 
 let a young man obtain the name of 
 being faithful in all the duties and obli- 
 gations resting upon him, and he se- 
 cures the confidence of the whole com- 
 munity. But, once let it be known 
 that he \^ faithless, and all trust in him 
 is destroyed, and his character receives 
 a fatal blow. 
 
 Have you business to transact ? Do 
 it faithfully, if your own ; and espe- 
 cially so, if it is confided to you by 
 others. Have you work to perform ? 
 Let it be done faithfully, as near what 
 you contracted to do, and as near what
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 77 
 
 it appears to be, as possible. Avoid all 
 deception in regard to these things. A 
 mechanic or a merchant very much 
 mistakes his interest who slights his 
 work, or palms off' his goods, lor what 
 they really are not. Such men gain a 
 lew dollars ui the outset ; but a just 
 and speedy retribution awaits them. 
 Their deceptions are soon discovered 
 — their dishonesty is laid bare — and 
 an indignant community will withhold 
 all further patronage and encourage- 
 ment. 
 
 A Mahratta Prince, in passing 
 through a certain apartment one day, 
 discovered one of his servants with his 
 master's slippers clasped so tightly to 
 his breast, that he was unable to disen- 
 gage them. Struck with the fact, and 
 concluding at once that a person who 
 was so jealously careful of a trifle, could 
 not fail to be faithful when intrusted 
 with a thing of importance, he appoin- 
 ted him a member of his body-guard. 
 The result proved that the prince was
 
 78 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 not mistaken. Rising in office, step " 
 by step, the 5"0ung man soon became 
 the most distinguished military com- 
 mander in Mahratta, and his fame ul- 
 timately spread throughout India. 
 Thus, faithfulness will ever gain confi- 
 dence, and is one of the most essential 
 ingredients in securing respect and pros- 
 perity. Be faithful, then, — faitliful in 
 all you do, even in the most trivial 
 things — and a certain reward awaits 
 you. 
 
 PERSEVERANCE. 
 
 Perseverance is another habit which 
 young men should acquire. This hab- 
 it must be long cultiv^ated before it can 
 be fully obtained, but, when well ad- 
 hered to, will accomplish the most sur- 
 prising results. Let your plans be de- 
 liberately and maturely formed — see
 
 THE YOUNG MAN, 79 
 
 that they are honest and honorable — 
 and then let " Perseverance" be your 
 watch-word, and you wiil seldom fail 
 of success, •• I can't." never accom- 
 plished anything-, "' Colonel Miller." 
 --^id General Ripley, at the battle of 
 Xia^ara, '*' can vou carrv that batte- 
 ry ?" " General Ripley, I will try," 
 was the laconic reply. At the head of 
 his gallant regiment, he tried, and. by 
 untiring bravery, with perseverance, 
 succeeded in repulsing the foe, and car- 
 rying the batter}'. " I will tr\'," has 
 accomplished wonders in the world- 
 When the habit of perseverance stands 
 by you, as a handmaid, to lend her as- 
 sistance, you can safely calculate upon 
 a favorable result in all your reasona- 
 ble operations : but, without this desi- 
 rable quali6cation. you ma}- commence 
 a thousand projects and fail in alL 
 When a proper business is fairly un- 
 dertaken, or a resolution formed, perse- 
 vere in its pursuit — bend all the ener- 
 gies of vour mind to its .service, and let
 
 80 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 no common inducement swerve you 
 into another track. " A young man, 
 who had wasted his patrimony by pro- 
 fligacy, while standing one day on ihe 
 brow of a precipice, from which he had 
 determined to throw himself, formed 
 the sudden resolution to regain what 
 he had lost. The purpose thus formed 
 was persevered in ; and, though he 
 began by shovelling a load of coal into 
 a cellar, )^et he proceeded from one step 
 to another, till he more than recovered 
 his lost possessions, and died worth 
 sixty thousand pounds sterling." 
 
 A well-directed perseverance in a 
 laudable undertaking will insure suc- 
 cess against many disadvantages. It 
 will overcome obscurity of birth, the 
 want of fortune, and of weahhy and 
 influential friends. A case in point 
 occurred under the observation of the 
 writer. I remember well that anti- 
 quated school-house in a small ham- 
 let, at the north-western part of the 
 State of New York. The teacher
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 81 
 
 procured a s'lver medal, and suspended 
 it at his desk, in sigiit of the school, 
 v.'ith the annunciation that, at the end 
 of the term, it should be the prize of 
 the scholar who should excel. A spirit 
 of eager rivalry was awakened in the 
 school — all strived assiduously to gain 
 the glittering reward. But the eye of 
 memory rests particularly upon two 
 lads, of nearly an equal age, who bore 
 the most prominent part in this intel- 
 lectual strife. The disparity in their 
 circumstances was striking. The one, 
 the son of a man of wealth and high 
 standing, was promised additional re- 
 wards by his relatives did he secure 
 the prize. The father of the other was 
 poor — all he possessed was honesty 
 and industry — and to the son no 
 other inducement could be held out, 
 than the prize itself and the honor of 
 obtaining it. And this was sufficient 
 to fire his ambition. The son of pov- 
 erty termed a fixed determination that 
 the medal should be his. He apphed
 
 82 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 himself to study with the most indom- 
 itable perseverance — nothing could di- 
 vert his attention or thwart his pur- 
 pose. His efforts resulted in complete 
 success, — his industry and perseverance 
 met their certain reward. He v.'as 
 crowned victor ; and with the blushes 
 of boyhood received the envied reward ! 
 In this instance, perseverance accom- 
 plished, what wealth could not. 
 
 Let us trace the history of these lads 
 a little farther. After living side by 
 side, engnged in the same sports and 
 amusements, a few years after the inci- 
 dent above related, they parted. The 
 son of the man of wealth entered high- 
 er seminaries, to obtain the advantages 
 of a more extended education ; while 
 the other was put to a mechanical oc- 
 cupation. It was then that the latter 
 first felt with force the disparity of the 
 gifts of fortune — first sensibly realized 
 the evils of poverty. While he vras 
 engaged in laborious business as a 
 means of subsistence, his early compan-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 83 
 
 ion was expanding his mind with the 
 lights of hterature and science, with 
 every prospect of occupying a station 
 in hfe as superior to the other as were 
 his advantages. But the poor lad, not- 
 withstanding his adverse circumstan- 
 ces, was not disposed to remain in ob- 
 scurity. He firmi}' resolved to make 
 every exertion in his power, to rise a- 
 bove the disadvantages of birth and 
 indigence. He summoned Industry 
 and Perseverance to be his handmaids 
 in the career he had marked out and 
 determined to pursue. Every elTort 
 was put forth — every means of im- 
 provement within his reach was dili- 
 gently used — and every possible ad- 
 vantage secured. Nor were his efforts 
 unavaihng. Success, beyond his most 
 sanguine expectations, attended him, 
 and now at the penning of these lines 
 he occupies a station in one of the most 
 enlightened communities in the world, 
 which, while requiring far more talent, 
 Is as elevated, as respectable, and honor-
 
 84 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 able, as that filled by the wealthy com- 
 panion of his childhood. These cir- 
 cumstances are not narrated to cast any 
 disparagement upon the latter. His 
 course thus iar in life has been prospe- 
 rous and honorable. He occupies a 
 station, which none can obtain but those 
 well skilled in his profession. But they 
 are adverted to, solely to convince 
 young men, that enhghtened persever- 
 ance can overcome almost every ob- 
 stacle in an honorable career. 
 
 ECONOMY. 
 
 "Wherein is economy to be practised ? 
 is the question which first arises in the 
 mind, when seriously exercised on this 
 subject. We Avill endeavor to an- 
 swer it. 
 
 1. In dress. Attire should be com- 
 fortable and decent. It should be com-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 85 
 
 fortable, having regard to the dimale 
 and the season of the year. No per- 
 son, in the exercise of judgment, would 
 wear the same clothing in all respects 
 in the torrid, that he would in the frigid 
 zone ; in summer, that he would in 
 winter. Reason dictates the suitable- 
 ness of different apparel. Yet some 
 are so regardless of propriety, or so im- 
 provident, that they seem to reverse 
 this order of nature. Their clothing is 
 unsuitable and unbecoming, and discov- 
 ers great deficiency in judgment and 
 taste. Attire too should be decent, nei- 
 ther so costly, mean, nor singular, as to 
 attract attention. Habiliments may be 
 so ordinary as to cast contempt upon 
 him who wears them, and they may be 
 so expensive as to produce the same 
 unpleasant effect. The coarsest and 
 the finest cloth is less durable than that 
 of a medium quality. The latter, there- 
 fore, should be preferred. While some 
 persons are so fond of costly dress as to 
 have their minds engrassed with it.
 
 8b THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 Others are totally indifferent to ihe 
 quality of their apparel^ or pride them- 
 selves upon their inferior garments. 
 Every one should endeavor to render 
 himself acceptable in the kind and 
 manner of his attire ; bearing in mind, 
 however, the remark of Dr. Franklin, 
 
 " Fond pride of dress is sure a very curse 5 
 Ere fancy you consult, consult your purse." 
 
 2. Economy in expense for board. 
 The mode of living ought to be tempe- 
 rate. Food should be plain and simple, 
 — served without the aid of the artificial 
 stimulants of modern cookery. High 
 jiving is a precursor to indolence and 
 disease ; but a temperate diet is pro- 
 motive of health and activity. " Sound 
 sleep," says the son of Sirach, in the 
 Apocrypha, "' cometh of moderate eat- 
 ing ; he riseth early, and his wits are 
 with him ; but the pains of watching 
 and choler are witli an insatiable 
 man." The famous Cornaro used to 
 remark, that '° Of all parts of a feast,
 
 THE YOUNG MA??. 87 
 
 that which one leaves does one the 
 most good." Says a proverb, " An 
 expensive mouth makes a lean purse."' 
 
 3. Many young men consume 
 more fuel than is necessary, and more 
 than is beneficial for their health and 
 happiness. An excessive degree ot' 
 heat debilitates, and produces sluggish- 
 ness J vrhile a cool state of the system 
 operates as a tonic, and invigoratc^s. I 
 have known young men, in the coldest 
 weather of winter, heat their rooms to 
 such a degree as to be obliged to throw 
 their coats off. How injudicious this 
 is, as it respects health and economy ! 
 In the use of lights it is different. 
 There should always be a sufficiency 
 to i)revent injury to the eyes, w^hile 
 working or reading. 
 
 4. There may be prodigality in in- 
 cidental expenses. Some seem dispo- 
 sed to purchase every trifling thing that 
 comes in their way. They cannot, or 
 do not, withstand temptations, but are 
 unwarrantably free in the use of what
 
 88 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 is termed pocket money. They do thi?, 
 not considering, that, while they tlius 
 squander property, they acquire bad 
 habits and lose reputation. 
 
 Such are a few of the particulars in 
 which economy should be practised. 
 But why ? 
 
 1. Economy should be practised, 
 because, in this way, an unjustifiable 
 expenditure of money will be prevent- 
 ed. " Owe no man anything" is an 
 injunction demanding the most serious 
 attention. Embarrassment, incurred 
 by prodigality, should be considered a 
 moral, as well as a natural evil. Al- 
 low not yourself to purchase on credit, 
 if you can avoid it, for by so doing you 
 will pay a large per centage. Never 
 purchase an article which you do not 
 need, because it is cheap. Remember 
 the sayings of Franklin, " Nothing is 
 cheap that you do not want," and 
 "Buy what thou hast no need of, and 
 ere long thou shalt sell thy necessa- 
 ries." While frugality is a virtue, par-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 89 
 
 simony is a vice. A penurious, mer- 
 cenary spirit should in no case be in- 
 dulged. 
 
 2. Economy will prevent much un- 
 happiness. The mind of a person will 
 be affected more or less by his pecuni- 
 ary condition. This will depend in a 
 great measure on his natural tempera- 
 ment. When embarrassed by debt 
 and harassed by creditors, irritation, 
 perplexity and dejection will be produ- 
 ced. The declaration on the part of 
 him who says, '• I am willing to wait 
 till you can find it convenient to pay," 
 has been of immense injury to multi- 
 tudes of young men. They have learn- 
 ed, in such instances, that experience 
 keeps a dear school, that " creditors 
 have better memories than debtors." 
 
 3. Economy will furnish the means 
 of doing good. Money is power, and 
 more good can be accomplished with, 
 than without it. When a person 
 makes a purchase, he should inquire, 
 
 G
 
 90 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 Do I really need this? Can 1 do with- 
 out it ? A careful expenditure of mo- 
 ney should ever characterise your con- 
 duct. 
 
 One measure, which will aid you in 
 forming the habit of economy, is the 
 keeping an account of expenses. Pur- 
 chase a book, and open a regular ac- 
 count with yourself — keep debt and 
 credit ; make an entry of all your re- 
 ceipts and expenditures, — be particu- 
 lar in details, and let no item escape 
 your registry. It is a good saying, 
 " Take care of the pence, and the 
 pounds will take care of themselves." 
 When you make contracts, settle all 
 the particulars respecting them at the 
 time. Never leave anything to dis- 
 cretion, or to be fixed upon at some fu- 
 ture day. By doing this, you will pre- 
 vent much difficulty. Take receipts 
 for the money you spend, and put them 
 in file, that you may readily turn to 
 them if necessity requires. Look over 
 your pecuniary affairs frequently, that
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 91 
 
 you may learn their state. Never 
 consent to be trusted. By doing this, 
 you will avoid a temptation to pur- 
 chase what is not really needed, and 
 to give more for an article than its 
 value. It is far easier to order a thing 
 than to pay for it. And remember the 
 words of Solomon, " He, that is surety 
 for a stranger, shall smart for it ; and 
 he, that hateth suretiship, is sure." — 
 Never therefore be surety for others. 
 
 i-Uustratfons. 
 
 As an encouragement to young men, 
 in the pursuit of the substantial virtues 
 which have been dwelt upon in the pre- 
 ceding pages, we will add an illustra- 
 tion or two, taken from newspapers of 
 the present time. 
 
 In the fall of the year 1830, a young 
 man, just out of his time, landed at 
 Whitehall, New York, to seek employ- 
 ment as a journeyman printer. He 
 was friendless and penniless, and, after
 
 92 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 three months spent in seeking worlc^ 
 was about ready to give up all hope of 
 success, but resolving still to persevere ; 
 he at length obtained employment as 
 a journeyman, at eight dollars per 
 week, in the office of the New York 
 Evangelist, a weekly paper pubhshed 
 in the city of New York. He contin- 
 ued in that situation till the spring of 
 1832, when he procured a press and a 
 few type, on credit, and opened a very 
 small printing office, to print cards and 
 circulars. He had no sooner commen- 
 ced business in this small way for him- 
 self, than the cholera, that awful 
 scourge, appeared in the city. He was 
 compelled, with a heavy debt, to close 
 his office, and go to work as a journey- 
 man on the Evangelist, to procure 
 bread for his httle family. After a 
 few months, when the cholera had sub- 
 sided, nothing daunted by so unprom- 
 ising a beginning, the perse veering 
 young man re-opened his little office, 
 and obtained, otccasionally, a job or two
 
 THE YOCNG MAN. 93 
 
 of work. His first attempt at publicity 
 was " the World at one view," a geo- 
 graphical chart, of which he pubhshed 
 three or four thousand copies. He 
 found, however, that his chart would 
 not sell ; he was using the sheets for 
 waste paper, when a friend suggested 
 to him that he ought to advertise ; that 
 if the sheet was known, it would doubt- 
 less meet with a very large sale. Act- 
 ing upon this hint to advertise, to which 
 so much of his subsequent success is 
 to be traced.' he sent an advertisement 
 to the New York Sun, (then just start- 
 ed) headed, " The World for twelve 
 AND A HALF CENTS ! ! !" Tliis Caption 
 took well. His little office was the next 
 day crowded with customers, to buy 
 THE World for the small sum of 12 1-2 
 cents ! This sheet was followed by an- 
 other, called the " New Family Receipt 
 Book," which, by similar efibrts, met 
 with similar success, and altogether, 
 about thirty thousand of these useful 
 sheets were sold ! Encouraged by this
 
 94 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 success, he conceived an enterprise of 
 still greater importance — the publica- 
 tion of a valuable volume, " Pictorial 
 Illustrations of the Bible." Most of his 
 friends dissuaded him from his expen- 
 sive undertaking, predicted a failure, 
 some mocked, and other smiled, but 
 in vain. In the fall of 1840 the work 
 appeared ; and, owing partly to its in- 
 trinsic value, partly to the beauty of 
 its illustrations, and outside appear- 
 ance, and partly to its being so ex- 
 tensively advertised, it met with an al- 
 most unprecedented popularity. 
 
 Not to extend this article too much, 
 the reader has already surmised that 
 this enterprising and persevering young 
 journeyman printer is no other than 
 Robert Sears, the well-knov/n author, 
 the writer, the compiler, the printer, 
 the publisher, and bookseller, of the 
 three beautiful volumes of Pictorial 
 Illustrations, which succeeded each oth- 
 er at intervals of about six months, and 
 of which, by the aid of about ^5000
 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 95 
 
 expended in advertising, the almost in- 
 credible number of 30,000 were sold in 
 less tlian eigliteen months ; and also 
 of two other equally elegant pictorial 
 volumes — "' The Bible Biography," 
 and the '" Pictorial Wonders of the 
 World." These two volumes are re- 
 ceived with a popularity nearly or quite 
 equal to that of the Pictorial Illustra- 
 tions ; and in addition to these, Mr. 
 Sears is now the editor, proprietor, and 
 publisher, of " Sears's New Monthly 
 Family Magazine" — a most valuable 
 periodical publication, which has alrea- 
 dy obtained an almost unprecedented 
 circulation. How striking an illustra- 
 tion is afforded in the uphill progress of 
 this friendless journeyman printer, of 
 the truth of the adage — " Labor omnia 
 
 VINCIT." 
 
 Mr. James Harper, who has just 
 teen elected Mayor of the city of New 
 York, was bred a practical printer, and 
 is thus spoken of by Mr. Thurlow 
 Weed :—
 
 96 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 " In 1816, we worked as a journey- 
 man in the same office with James and 
 John Harper. They were distinguish- 
 ed, like Frankhn, our great example in 
 the art, for industry, temperance, and 
 economy. James was our partner at 
 press. We were at our work as soon 
 as the day dawned, and though, on a 
 pleasant summer afternoon, we used 
 occasionally to sigh for a walk upon 
 the Battery before sundown, he never 
 would allow the ' balls to be capp'd ' 
 until we had broken the back of the 
 thirteenth ' token.' The sequel is. that 
 the journeyman Printer of 1816, is, in 
 1844, the head t'»f one of the first — if not 
 the first — publishing houses in the world 
 — a man of ample fortune, enjoying the 
 respect and confidence of his fellow citi- 
 zens in so eminent a degree, that he 
 has become the Chief Magistrate of 
 our great metropolis. Such are the 
 rewards of industry, enterprise, and in- 
 tegrity." 
 
 Simon Greenleaf. Professor of Law
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 97 
 
 at Cambridge University, is an exam- 
 ple of what a man may become by 
 studious habits. With a limited edu- 
 cation, he entered a lawyer's office, and, 
 by his industrious habits and attention 
 to his books, when he began to prac- 
 tise, took a high stand as a lawyer. 
 For several years he had an extensive 
 practice at the Cumberland (Maine) 
 bar, till he was called to occupy his 
 present station. He is the author of 
 several works, which rank high among 
 our ablest lawyers. 
 
 What young man will fold his hands 
 and slumber, when by active exertion 
 he can take a high stand, and be emi- 
 nently useful among his fellow men ? 
 Up and be doing — lo.?e not a day nor 
 an hour in sloth, and there is no posi- 
 tion too elevated that you may not 
 reach.
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 CHOICE OF ASSOCIATES. 
 
 The power of example is proverbial. 
 We are creatures of imitation, and, 
 by a necessary influence, our temper 
 and habits are very much formed on 
 the model of those with whom we fa- 
 miliarly associate. In this view, noth- 
 ing is more important to young men 
 than the choice of their companions. If 
 they select for their associates the in- 
 telligent, the virtuous, and the enterpri- 
 sing, great and most happy will be the 
 effect on their own character and 
 habits. With these living, breathing, 
 patterns of excellence before them, they 
 can hardly fail to feel a disgust at ev- 
 erything that is low, unworthy, and vi- 
 cious, and be inspired with a desire to 
 advance in whatever is praiseworthy 
 and good. It is needless to add, that 
 the opposite of all this is the certain
 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 99 
 
 consequence of intimacy with persons 
 of bad habits and profligate Hves. 
 
 Young men are, in general, but Ht- 
 tle aware, how much their reputation 
 is afifected in the eye of the pubUc by 
 the company they keep. Intimacy 
 with persons of bad character always 
 sinks a man in the opinion of others. 
 While he thinks but little of the con- 
 sequences, others are making their re- 
 marks ; they learn what his taste is ; 
 what sort of company he prefers, and 
 predict, on no doubtful ground, what 
 will be the issue to his own character. 
 
 FEMALE SOCIETY. 
 
 When any of your young companions 
 affects the wit, and would sharpen his 
 ^aden sarcasms against the female 
 character, as a fair butt ; set it down as 
 a mark of a weak head or a base
 
 100 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 heart ; it cannot be good sense, or grat- 
 itude, or justice, or honorable feeling of 
 any kind. There are indeed nations 
 where a boy, as soon as he puts off the 
 dress of a child, goes that same day 
 and beats his mother to show his man- 
 hood. These people hve in the savage 
 realms of Africa, and there let them 
 be ; to imitate them in any degree is 
 to affect barbarism, and return to the 
 savage state. If any of your elder as- 
 sociates thus defame the sex, suspect 
 him of having cause, which implies 
 in him a vile taste, as to the parties 
 whose intimacy he has sought ; he is 
 exposing himself and his own vile con- 
 duct while he rails. He may perhaps 
 never have found an excellent charac- 
 ter among them ; but the fault lies in 
 his not having looked where they 
 were. 
 
 The very presence of a respectable 
 female will often restrain those fror% 
 evil, whose hearts are nevertheless full 
 of it. Tt is not easy to talk, or to look
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 101 
 
 obscenely, or even to behave with rude- 
 ness and ill-manners under such re- 
 straint. Frequent restraint tends to 
 give the actual mastery ; every ap- 
 proach towards this must be of value. 
 There is a delicacy too in female so- 
 ciety, which tends to check the boiste- 
 rous, to tame the brutal, and to embol- 
 den the timid. Whatever be the in- 
 nate character of the youth, it may be 
 polished, perhaps essentially ibsteretl 
 and exahed, by approbation so allu- 
 ring, so gratiiyiiig. ^ 
 
 When for your own improvement 
 you are advised to seek female inter- 
 course, it is proper you should begin, 
 where nature began with you — res- 
 pect your mother. We will go fur- 
 ther and say, aim to make her your 
 friend ; her inclinations are strong to- 
 wards such a scheme. It", on your 
 own part, there seems to be any diffi- 
 
 «ilty in it, it shows considerable error, 
 est likely in your own conduct to- 
 wards her. Are you indeed in a state
 
 102 THE YOCNG MAN. 
 
 of estrangement from your nearest, 
 first, and most affectionate guide ? En- 
 deavor to restore familiar connection 
 with her. WJiatever judgment your 
 father may have, and far be it from me 
 to undervalue it, yet your mother's 
 opinion is not only another help to your 
 own, but as a woman's it has its pecu- 
 liar character, and may have its pecu- 
 liar value. Women sometimes see at 
 a glance, what a man must go round 
 through a train of argumentation to 
 discover. Their tact is delicate, and 
 therefore quicker in operation. Some- 
 times, it is true, their judgment will 
 be not only prompt, but hasty and 
 not well formed. Your own judg- 
 ment must assist you here. Do not, 
 however, proudly despise hers, but ex- 
 amine it ; it will generally well repay 
 the trouble ; and the habit of deferring 
 to her opinion will generate in you 
 much consideration, much self-coi^ 
 mand, much propriety of conduct. ^|^ 
 Well do we remember many words
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 103 
 
 of gentle but sound advice, given as 
 occasions ottered, by an affectionate mo- 
 ther. The tender warning, the pious 
 ivish, the prophetic hope, came tVom 
 the heart, and may well be allowed to 
 reach equally deep, if a son's mind be 
 rightly disposed. If she be a woman 
 of sense, why should you not profit by 
 her long-exercised intelligence ? Nay, 
 should she ever be deficient in cultiva- 
 tion, or in native talent, yet her expe- 
 rience is something, and her love for 
 you will sharpen all her faculties in 
 your behalf It cannot be worthiness 
 to despise, nor wisdom to neglect your 
 mother's opinion. 
 
 Have you sisters ? then you are fa- 
 vorably situated ; especially if one at 
 least is older than yourself She has 
 done playing with dolls, and you with 
 bats and balls. She is more womanly ; 
 her carriage becomes dignified ; do not 
 ^blige her, by your boyish behavior, to 
 ^eep you at a distance. Try to deserve 
 the gharacter of a friend. She will
 
 104 THE YOUxNG MAN. 
 
 sometimes look to you for little services 
 which require strength and agility ; let 
 her look up to you for judgment, steadi- 
 ness, council, also. You may be mu- 
 tually beneficial. Your aflection, and 
 your intertwining interest in each oth- 
 er's welfare will hereby be much in- 
 creased. 
 
 There is a sort of gallantry due to 
 the sex, which is best attained by prac- 
 tising at home. Your mother may 
 frequently reqyiire your attention — 
 your sisters much more often. Do not 
 want calling, or teasing, or eveiT per- 
 suading, to gain from you such atten- 
 tions as their safety, or their comfort, 
 or their respectabihty may require. 
 What a hohle-de-hoy is that, who can 
 exclaim with disgust, " Now I shall 
 have to conduct my sisters home ! 1 
 wish they would not go out. I hate to 
 to dance after them of all persons." To 
 gallant a sister in such a case is hej^ 
 due. You are paying respect to youi^ 
 selfj when you are suitable f(ir such a
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 105 
 
 service. She could, perhaps, come 
 home very well by herself; but it would 
 be a sad reflection on you, were she to 
 do so. Accustom yourself, then, to 
 wait updn her, if you are able. It will 
 teach you how to wait on others by 
 and by, and meanwhile it will give a 
 graceful set to your character. 
 
 It will be well for you if your sisters 
 have young friends, w^hose acquaint- 
 ance with them will bring them some- 
 times into your society. You had 
 need sometimes have those present, 
 who may keep you more on your guard 
 than even your sisters. Your atten- 
 tions to them will have a more respect- 
 ful manner. Your endeavors to ap- 
 pear, that is, to be, all right, will be- 
 come more exact, more systematic. Do 
 not, then, try to get out of the way of 
 female intercourse. 
 
 But it ought to be remembered that 
 . there are some even of that sex, which 
 ought to be all purity, simplicity, and 
 a
 
 106 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 kindness, whom every principle should 
 teach you to avoid, although received 
 in what is called respectable society. 
 The general idea of what a woman 
 ought to be, is usually sufficient to 
 guide you, with a little care in the ap- 
 plication. Prize your privilege, how- 
 ever, should you meet with a iew intel- 
 ligent, agreeable, and respectable of the 
 sex, to whose society you can have fre- 
 quent access. It must be your own 
 fault if you do not reap much advan- 
 tage. But should your lot be cast near 
 any who, with good natural abilities, 
 have a j udicious education, who may ap- 
 proximate to what is called an elegant 
 mind, we think we need not urge you 
 highly to esteem your opportunity. 
 
 As this advice is to young men, per- 
 haps in their teens, it will be suppo- 
 sed that what is now to be said must 
 refer to the latter end of that term. 
 We scruple not to say, keep matrimo- 
 ny in view. Should parents, guardi- 
 ans^ and elder sisters, say, Hear f hear /
 
 
 THE YOtJNG MAN. 107 
 
 We repeat it distinctly, as our advice to 
 every young man, Keep matrimony in 
 view. Never conceive yourself com- 
 plete without the other half of your- 
 self. The fashion among some young 
 men of the present day is, to make 
 up their minds to do without it ; an 
 unnatural and therefore an unwise 
 system. 
 
 AMUSEMENTS. 
 
 Young men need not lack for proper 
 amusements. By an enlightened dis- 
 crimination, they can find an abundant 
 supply from sources not only innocent, 
 but instructive. Recreations in the 
 open air. for those whose occupations 
 are sedentary — the perusal of interest- 
 ing books and other publications — the 
 frequenting of well conducied reading- 
 TDdms, and an attfendance at lycfeums
 
 108 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 and other meetings for public lectures 
 — all afford amusement combined with 
 useful instruction. Social parties, 
 and a frequent entrance into the vari- 
 ous family circles of your friends, are 
 prolific sources of innocent recreation. 
 And we cannot forbear urging young 
 men .(if, indeed, it is necessary to urge 
 them) to frequent, in their leisure hours, 
 the company of intelligent and virtuous 
 females of the class with whom they 
 associate. Nothing tends more to pol- 
 ish a young man, and to refine his 
 tastes and his manners, than the society 
 of the virtuous of the other sex. In 
 such company a guard will be placed 
 upon the lip and the actions, that can- 
 not but exercise a salutary tendency. 
 Deeply fix the resolution in 3'our mind, 
 to indulge in no recreation that is not 
 of an innocent nature, and of a strict 
 moral tendency, and you will exhibit a 
 wisdom productive of immense ben- 
 efits.
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 109 
 
 CONVERSATION ON DANCING. 
 
 " What can be the possible harm," it 
 is said, " in going to a ball ? We go 
 to a brightly illuminated hall. We 
 have pleasant music to gratify the ear. 
 In graceful measures, we beat time to 
 its cadences in the exhilarating dance. 
 After having thus passed a few hours 
 of heartfelt hilarity, we retire unharm- 
 ed to our homes. Now what real ob- 
 jection can there be to this amuse- 
 ment," it is asked, " which is not 
 founded on ignorance and supersti- 
 tion ?" 
 
 This is a very important question, 
 and it deserv'es a serious answer. To 
 explain my views on this subject, let me 
 suppose that you have a brother about 
 nineteen years of age, a very amiable, 
 correct, and promising young man. 
 He is attentive to his parents, kind to
 
 110 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 his sisters ; you all love him with 5^our 
 whole hearts. He is a clerk in a store, 
 and highly respected by his employ- 
 ers. He has so little of selfishness in 
 his nature, and is so willing to sacrifice 
 his own inclinations to oblige others, 
 that while he thus promises to be one 
 of the best and most useful of men, he 
 is consequently much exposed to be led 
 away by temptation. 
 
 Like an affectionate and dutiful son 
 as he is, he comes to his father some 
 day, and says to him, " Father, there 
 is to be a celebrated ball to-night. All 
 my acquaintance are going, and, if you 
 have no objection, I should like to 
 go also." 
 
 " Well, my son," says your father, 
 " what time does the ball commence ?" 
 
 " Between eight and nine in the 
 evening," he replies. 
 
 " And at what hour will it close ?" 
 your father asks. 
 
 " They tell me," your brother an- 
 swers, " that they will probably go
 
 TilE YOUNG MAN. Ill 
 
 home between two and three o'clock 
 in the morning." 
 
 " I suppose that wine will be circu- 
 lated very ireely on the occasion ; will 
 it not, my son ?-' 
 
 " Why, yes, sir ; I understand that 
 they are to have some dozens of cham- 
 pagne ; but I hope that I have resolu- 
 tion enough not to be guilty of any 
 excess." 
 
 '' I trust that you have, my son ; 
 but do you know of any who are go- 
 ing, who have the reputation of being 
 intemperate ?" 
 
 '• Yes, sir ; there will be several 
 there, who are known to drink too 
 much wine." 
 
 '• Will there be many present, who 
 are considered generally dissolute in 
 .their habits ? so much .so, that you 
 would not like to have them for your 
 acquaintance ?" 
 
 '• There will be some such, sir, I 
 suppose." 
 
 " It is ratlier dangerous," your father
 
 112 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 remarks, " for a young man to be 
 thrown into such company, in the 
 midst of all the excitements of music, 
 and dancing, and wine. It will not be 
 easy to shake off acquaintances you 
 
 may necessarily form there. 1 
 
 suppose, of course, they have card- 
 playing ?" 
 
 " Yes, sir." 
 
 " Do they play for money, my 
 son?" 
 
 " Some of them, I believe, do, sir ; 
 for small sums." 
 
 " It is not uncommon," your father 
 replies, " under such circumstances, 
 for persons to commence with small 
 sums, and to go on to greater. Under 
 the stimulus of play and wine, they 
 plunge deeper and deeper into the game, 
 till the dawn of morning finds them 
 still with the cards in their hands. 
 
 " Many a young man, in these 
 scenes, commences the road to ruin. T 
 have, in my experience, known a greai 
 number thus lost to virtue, and who
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 113 
 
 have brought hopeless shame upon 
 their parents and themselves. 
 
 '• You say, my son, that the ball 
 will break up about three o'clock in the 
 morning. You can, perhaps, get home 
 and to your bed at halt-past three. 
 You must rise at si;c o'clock in the 
 morning, to get the store opened in 
 season. This allows you two hours 
 and a half for sleep — sleep which, from 
 the previous e:.citement. must be fe- 
 verish and urrefreshing. 
 
 '• Now, my son," your father con- 
 tinues, '• were I you, I would not go. 
 By going, you will be exposed to many 
 temptations. — the excitement of wine, 
 — the excitement of many dangerous 
 passions. You can hardly avoid form- 
 ing many very undesirable acquaint- 
 ances. You will be invited to the ga- 
 ming table, and may thus commence 
 the acquisition of a taste for all the ex- 
 citements of gambling. 
 
 " Many may be there who, having 
 no pleasure but in fashionable dissipa-
 
 114 THE YOUNG MAN, 
 
 tion, will be glad lo secure you as an 
 associate. Invitations will multiply 
 upon you to subscribe for weekly cotil- 
 lions, and nightly whist parties. When 
 a young man once enters this vortex, 
 it is difficult to get out again. When 
 you go to the store in the morning, you 
 will be languid and spiritless ; all your 
 energies exhausted. With aching 
 head and bloodshot eyes, and trembling 
 limbs, you will have a day of mental 
 depression, which will vastly counter- 
 balance all the enjoyment of the night, 
 and which "will greatly disqualify you 
 for discharging your duty to your em- 
 ployers. 
 
 " When our neighbors have wonder- 
 ed that we should so carefully keep our 
 children away from such scenes of 
 gayety — from amusements which to 
 them appeared innocent and pleasing 
 — we have replied, that it w^as our 
 conviction, that we could make you 
 far happier by cuhivating in your heart 
 a taste for a totally different class of
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 115 
 
 pleasures. Madame de Genlis, who 
 was familiar with the gayeties of the 
 Palais Royal of Paris, has remarked, 
 that the days which succeed hrilliant 
 entertainments are always melancholy. 
 '• Therefore, my son," your father 
 continues, '' I would not go. Perse- 
 vere in the plan of life you have here- 
 tofore laid down for j'ourself Come 
 home, and spend the evening in quiet 
 enjoyment with your mother or your 
 sisters ; or, in the perusal of some in- 
 teresting volume from the circulating 
 library, acquire a taste for reading. 
 At your usual hour, retire to rest. You 
 will then rise in the morning fresh and 
 vigorous, and in good spirits go to 
 your duties. And. as you see your as- 
 sociate in the adjoining store, who at- 
 tended the ball, dozing in dejection, 
 and lounging the live-long day at his 
 desk, you will be thankful that you 
 were more wise than to sacrifice so 
 much substantial good for a few hours 
 of midnight merriment.
 
 116 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 " By persevering in this course," 
 your father continues, " you will more 
 effectually secure to yourself the confi- 
 dence of business men. Your credit 
 will be better. You will sooner be 
 able to have a home of your own. 
 You will make that home more hap- 
 py. Your life will glide away with 
 far less danger of your falling before 
 the power of temptation ; and conse- 
 quently, there will be a far brighter 
 prospect of your enjoying happiness 
 beyond the grave." 
 
 This is, in the main, the argument 
 upon w^hich the objectors to this amuse- 
 ment rely, and have relied during all 
 past ages. They are fully convinc- 
 ed, that he, who acquires a taste for 
 ball-room pleasures, v/iil find his earth- 
 ly happiness greatly impaired, and 
 will be exposed to temptations which 
 will greatly endanger his eternal well- 
 being.
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 117 
 
 GENUINE POLITENESS. 
 
 The virtues and the graces are much 
 more nearly allied, than they, who are 
 strangers to the virtues, are willing to 
 acknowledge. There is something ex- 
 tremely beautiful in all the moral vir- 
 tues, clearly understood and properly 
 reduced to practice. 
 
 He who has a heart glowing with 
 kindness and good-will towards his 
 fellow-men, and who is guided in the 
 exercise of these feelings by good com- 
 mon sense, is the truly polite man. Po- 
 liteness does not consist in wearing a 
 white silk glove, and in gracefully lift- 
 ing your hat as you meet an acquain- 
 tance — it does not consist in artificial 
 smiles and flattering speech, but in 
 sincere and honest desires to promote 
 the happiness of those around you ; in
 
 118 THE YOtJNG MAN. 
 
 the readiness to sacrifice your own 
 ease and comfort, to add to the enjoy- 
 ment of others. The poor negro 
 women, who found Miingo Park per- 
 ishing under the palm-trees of Africa, 
 and who led him to their hut, and sup- 
 plied him with food, and lulled him to 
 sleep with their simple songs, were gen- 
 uinely polite. They addressed him in 
 language of kindness and sympathy ; 
 they led him tenderly to their home, 
 and did all in their power to revive his 
 drooping spirits. 
 
 A poor drover was driving his beeves 
 to market in a winter's day. The cat- 
 tle met a lady in the path, and, appar- 
 ently unconscious of the impoliteness, 
 compelled the lady to turn one side into 
 the snow. ' Madam,' said the drover, 
 apologizing for the rudeness of his herd, 
 ' if the cattle knew as much as I do, 
 you should not walk in the snow.' 
 That drover was, in the best sense of 
 the terra, a gentleman, while many a 
 yi/ung man, in Washington street or 
 
 ll
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. ll^ 
 
 Broadway, with gloves, and cane, and 
 graceful step, is a brute. 
 
 The man, who lays aside all selfish- 
 ness, in regard to the happiness of oth- 
 ers, who is ever ready to confer favors, 
 who speaks in language of kindness 
 and conciliation, and who studies to 
 manifest those little attentions which 
 gratify the heart, is a polite man, 
 though he may wear a homespun 
 coat, and make a very ungraceful bow. 
 And many a fashionable, who dresses 
 genteelly, and enters the most crowded 
 apartments with assurance and ease, is 
 a perfect compound of rudeness and 
 incivility. True politeness is a virtue 
 3f the understanding and of the heart. 
 It is not hke the whited sepulchre, or 
 ike Sodom's far-famed fruit. There 
 ire no rules for the exercise of this vir- 
 ue, more correct and definite than those 
 aid down in the New Testament. 
 There is no book of politeness coinpar- 
 ble with the Bible,
 
 120 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 SINGULARITY. 
 
 A MAN should make it a point to avoid 
 singularity of manner. Unconscious 
 eccentricity is a defect which every one 
 should labor to overcome ; and every 
 voluntary attempt to deviate from the 
 usual manner of doing^ordinary acts, is 
 a foible unworthy of a man of sense. 
 In conduct and in speech, the rule of 
 good sense, says Lord Brougham, is to 
 do common things in the common 
 way. This is true in those numberless 
 instances, in which no moral principle 
 is involved. But on the other hand, 
 there can be no greater instance of a 
 weak and pusillanimous temper, than 
 for a man to pass the whole of his life 
 in opposition to his own conscience 
 and understanding, and not dare to be 
 what he thinks he ought to be in the 
 order of nature. Singularity is alwajrs
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 121 
 
 lauflable when, in contratljstinction to 
 the multitiKle, it adheres to the dictntes 
 of honor, conscience, and jnoiahty ; 
 and is vicious when it makes men act 
 contrary to reason, or pots then) upon 
 distinguishing themselves by trifles and 
 foUies. For ii stance, it is vicious, in a 
 modest young gentleman who has not 
 confidence to refuse his glass at an en- 
 teitainment; it is vicious, in any one 
 that is afraid to refuse an invitation 
 to a tavern to dinner, to go to any im- 
 proper place, or to commit any extrav- 
 agance proposed ; and this under fear 
 of being thought covetous, to have tio 
 money, or to be under the control of 
 his parents or friends, when in fact 
 his pride should be in the fiee exeicise 
 of his understanding, and in daring to 
 declaie his real sentiments on the occa- 
 Bion. Never suffer yourself to bo 
 tempted by the bad example of other 
 young men, nor to be laughed out of 
 what your judgment tells you is right. 
 I
 
 13» THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 Resolution is the foundation of every 
 virtae ; without it there is none ; even 
 those who may presume to ridicule or 
 laugh at you at first, will soon treat 
 you with greater respect than they do 
 each other, when they perceive that 
 your conduct is always uniform, steady, 
 and firm. Rest assured, that you will 
 be respected by others, when they 
 find that you respect yourself Let 
 a good resolution, therefore, be your 
 rule of conduct. 
 
 FURTHER HINTS ON MANNERS. 
 
 It may not be useless to some of our 
 younger readers to particularize a few 
 instances, in which they are liable, 
 through carelessness, or from early 
 disadvantages to violate the principles 
 of good manners. 
 
 If in company with an inferior, do
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 123 
 
 not let him feel his inferiority ; if he 
 discover it himself, without your en- 
 deavors, the fault is not yours, and he 
 will not blame you : but if you take 
 pains to mortify him, or to make him 
 feel himself inferior to you in abilities, 
 fortune, or rank, it is an insult to him. 
 In point of abilities, it would be unjust, 
 if they are out of his power ; in rank 
 or fortune, it is ill-natured and ill- 
 bred. We should rather treat such a 
 person with additional respect, lest he 
 should suppose himself neglected. 
 
 Never indulge the idle inclination 
 to laugh at, or ridicule the weaknesses 
 or infirmities of others, by way of di- 
 verting the company, or displaying 
 your own superiority. Most people 
 have their weaknesses ; some cannot 
 bear the sight of a cat, others the smell 
 of cheese, and so on ; were you to 
 laugh at these persons for their antip- 
 athies, or, by design or inattention, to 
 bring them in their w^ay, you could not 
 insult thera more.
 
 124 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 Whispering in company is another 
 act of ill-manners ; it seems to insinu- 
 ate eitiier that the persons whom we do 
 not wish to hear are unworthy of our 
 confidence, or it may lead them to sup- 
 pose that we are speaking improperly 
 of them. On both accounts therefore 
 abstain from it. 
 
 Pulling out one letter after another, 
 and reading them in company, or cut- 
 ting and paring one's nails, is unpolite 
 and rude. It seems to say, we are 
 weary of the conversation, and are in 
 want of some amusement to pass away 
 the time. 
 
 Humming a tune to ourselves, drum- 
 ming with our fingers on the table, 
 making a noise with our feet, and such 
 like, are all breaches of good manners, 
 and indications of contempt for the per- 
 sons present. 
 
 Romping, loud and frequent laugh- 
 ing, punning, joking, mimickry, wag- 
 gery, and too great familiarity, will 
 render any man cidntemptible-, in spits
 
 THE YOCNG MAN. 125 
 
 of knowledge or merit. These may 
 constitute a merry fellow, but a merry 
 fellow was never considered a gen- 
 tleman. 
 
 Mimickry, the favorite amusement 
 of weak minds^ has ever been the con- 
 tempt of noble ones. Never give way 
 to it yourself, nor encourage it in 
 others. 
 
 An absent-minded man is generally 
 a very affected one, or a very weak 
 one ; but, whether weak or affected, 
 he is in company a very disagreeable 
 man. x\bsence of mind is a tacit dec- 
 laration that those we are in company 
 with are not worth attending to, and 
 what is a greater affront ? Besides, 
 can an absent man improve by what 
 is said or done in his presence ? A 
 man is fit for neither business nor con- 
 versation, unless he can attend to the 
 object before him. 
 
 It is inconsistent with good manners, 
 w^hen another person is speaking, that 
 you should contrive, either by showing
 
 126 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 something new, or by calling the at- 
 tention of the company another way, 
 to make him neglected and forsa- 
 ken by his audience. 
 
 You should not carry to your toilet 
 all the mental absence of Sir Hum- 
 phrey Davy. It is related by his biog- 
 rapher, that this distinguished philos- 
 opher would often appear before his 
 class, with no less than seven shirts on, 
 and as many pairs of stockings ; an 
 accumulation effected by simply vio- 
 lating the rule of the old song, 
 
 " 'Tis well to be oflf with the old— shirt, 
 Before we have on with the new." 
 
 His friends were constantly called upon 
 to wonder at the extraordinary varia- 
 tions which his bulk was undergoing : 
 his limbs being at one time extremely 
 thin, and at another time vieing with 
 the proportions of Daniel Lambert. 
 
 If a lady is going to her carriage, or 
 in any public place where it is usual, 
 or would be convenient for ladies to be
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 127 
 
 attendetl, you should offer her your arm 
 and service, even if you do not know 
 her. When a waiter of coffee or pre- 
 serves is handed to a lady, she should 
 help herself, and geritlemen standing 
 by should permit her to do so, and 
 should abstain from interference. It 
 was once deemed proper for gentle- 
 men to save ladies this trouble, by put- 
 ting sugar and cream in their coffee for 
 them ; but it is now clearly under- 
 stood that the effort of a lady helping 
 herself, in fact amounts to nothing, and 
 by doing so, she can gratify her own 
 taste ai d choice much better than when 
 another serves her. and at the same 
 time that quietness and ease of action, 
 which is the best characteristic of so- 
 ciety, is attained in a much higher 
 degree. 
 
 If two persons are conversing to- 
 gether in a large company, it would 
 be rudeness in another person to go up 
 and interrupt them by introducing a 
 new topic of observation. If you are
 
 128 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 sure that there is nothing of a particu- 
 lar and private interest passing be- 
 tween them, you may join in their con- 
 versation, and strike into the current 
 of their remarks. If, however, two 
 persons are occupied with one another 
 upon terms peculiarly delicate and par- 
 ticular, you should entirely withdraw 
 yourself flom their company. If you 
 are talking to a lady with the ordina- 
 ry indifference of a common acqu;n"n- 
 tancp, and are only waiting till some 
 one else comes up, for an of)port unity 
 to leave her, you should not leave the 
 instant another arrives, as if your pre- 
 vious lairying had been compulsory ; 
 but you should remain a few nioments, 
 and then turn away. 
 
 If you meet in company with per- 
 sons you do not know, and are brought 
 in contact with them, converse vvitli, 
 them with the same readiness and ease 
 as if you had known them before. If, 
 in talking with one whom you are ac- 
 quainted with, there are others in the
 
 THE yOUNO MAN. 129 
 
 group whom yon do not know, you 
 should address them precisely on the 
 same terms on which you speak to your 
 friend. On such an occasion, the topics 
 should be as impersonal as possible, 
 but the manner should be wholly free 
 from shyness or embanassment. 
 
 At an evening party, a gentleman 
 should abstain from conversing much 
 with the members of the family, at 
 whose house the company are assem- 
 bled, as they wish to be occupied with 
 entertaining their other guests, A 
 well-bred man will do all that he can 
 to assist the lady of the house to ren- 
 der the evening pleasant to her compa- 
 ny. He wdl avoid talking much to 
 the men, and will devote himself more 
 to the women, and especially to those 
 who are not much attended to by 
 others. He will exett himself to enter- 
 tain the company as much as possible, 
 and to give aniniation and interest to 
 the occasion. Such efforts are always 
 observed and appreciated by the hos-
 
 130 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 tess, while an opposite conduct rare- 
 ly fnils to excite something like resent- 
 ment. 
 
 There is a fault often committed in 
 company, yet, perhaps in all cases, ari- 
 sing from thoughtlessness, rather than 
 from rudeness, — that of remarking to 
 the hostess that the room is very warm, 
 or that the weather is so bad as to 
 render the ride to her house extremely 
 unpleasant. Such remarks, it is true, 
 may convey no direct reproach upon 
 her, because the matters are beyond 
 her control, or against her inclination ; 
 yet they make her feel uncomfortable, 
 for having been the occasion of the suf- 
 fering complained of, and she will al- 
 ways be obliged to apologize or express 
 her regret. It is in bad taste for the 
 hostess, likewise, to talk about such 
 things, and to anticipate observation, 
 by excuses and regrets. 
 
 I do not know any small matter 
 which is more often the source of an- 
 noyance, though kindly intended, than
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 131 
 
 the habit of sending books to people to 
 read, because the lender thinks that 
 the other will be entertained. It com- 
 pels persons to read what they may not 
 have leisure or inclination to do, and to 
 prepare an opinion which they may 
 find it ditficull or unpleasant to express, 
 and it throws upon them the duty of 
 taking care of the work. When hooks 
 are spoken of, theiefore, it is more re- 
 fined not to make an otfer of lending 
 them. At all events, you should never 
 press their acceptance, or send them, 
 unless your offer is accepted readily 
 and willingly. 
 
 If a person in conversation has be- 
 gun to say something, and has check- 
 ed himself, you should avoid the tactless 
 error, so often committed, of insisting 
 on hearing him ; as doubtless there 
 was some reason for this change of in- 
 tention. 
 
 If you are giving a person sugar 
 upon a plate of fruit, as strawberries, 
 pine-apples, or such matters, you should
 
 132 THE YODNG MAN. 
 
 not scatter it over the article to which 
 it is to he ackled, hut should place it by 
 the side of the plate by itself, which 
 will enable the person to use as much 
 as may be desirable. 
 
 In company, you should never tilt 
 your chair back upon its hind feet ; es- 
 pecially not at the table. 
 
 When you call to see a person, and 
 are informed at the door tliat he is 
 engaged, you should never persist in 
 your attem|)t to be admitted, but should 
 acquiesce at once in that arrangement 
 which the other has made for his con- 
 venience, to protect himself from in- 
 terruption. 
 
 There are many times and seasons 
 at which a person chooses to be entire- 
 ly alone, and when there is no friend- 
 ship for which he would give up his 
 occupation or his solitude. It is now 
 usual for those, who do not wish to see 
 company, to send word that " they are 
 engaged" ; formerly, that message 
 would have given ofience, but it is now
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 133 
 
 so cnstomary that every one under- 
 stands it. A traditionary anecdote of 
 Scipio Nasica seems to bring the say- 
 ing of •• not at home" to a nan pVis. 
 He one day called on Ennius, the poet, 
 who, though at home, was denied by 
 his servants. Soon after, Ennius re- 
 turned the visit, and Scipio himself 
 coming to the door told him that he 
 was not at home. " Nay !" said Ennius 
 gravely, " I know that you are, I hear 
 your voice." " You are a fine fellow 
 indeed," reph'ed Scipio ; " when I cal- 
 led on you, the other day, I beheved 
 the maid, who told me you were not 
 at home, and now you will not believe 
 me. although you hear my own voice 
 affirming it." 
 
 Were we to take as much pains to 
 be what we ought, as we do to 
 disguise what we are, we might ap- 
 pear like ourselves, without being at 
 the trouble of any disguise at all.
 
 134 THE YOUNG MAN.. 
 
 CONVERSATION. 
 
 This is known and admitted to be one 
 of the most important of all attain- 
 ments ; and perhaps nothing is more 
 desired by all intelligent young per- 
 sons, who reflect at all upon their 
 means of influence and improvement 
 than conversational power. But, not- 
 withstanding this general impression in 
 its favor, there is nothing of half its 
 importance which is so entirely neglec- 
 ted in education. And there is, it 
 must be acknowledged, a great diffi- 
 culty in the subject. 
 
 To acquiie the art of conversation 
 we would recommend that you should 
 practise conversation systematically and 
 constantly, but that you should have 
 some other object than improvement 
 in your manner of expressing yourself 
 mainly in view. You will become in-
 
 THE YOCNG MAN. 135 
 
 terested in these objects, and conse- 
 quently interested in the conveisation 
 which you make use of as a means of 
 promoting them ; and by not having 
 your own manner diiectly in view, the 
 danger of that stiffness, and precision 
 and affectation, which is so conmion a 
 resuU of efforts to improve in sucii an 
 art as this, will be escaped. We will 
 mention one or two of these objects. 
 
 Make conversation a means of ac- 
 quiring knowledge. Every person, 
 with whom you are thrown into cas- 
 ual connection, has undoubtedly some 
 knowledge which would be useful or 
 valuable to you. You are riding in 
 the stage, I will suppose, and the 
 rouiih-looking man who sits by your 
 side appears so unattractive, that you 
 do not suppose he has anything to say 
 which can interest you. But speak to 
 him — draw him into conversation, and 
 you will find that he is a sea-captain, 
 who has visited a hundred ports, and 
 cau tell you many interesting stories
 
 136 THE YOUXG MAN. 
 
 about every clime. He will like to 
 talk, if he finds you are interested to 
 hear, and you may rrjake, by his assis- 
 tance, a more important progress in 
 really useful knowledge, during that 
 day's ride, than by the study of the 
 best lesson from a book, that was ever 
 learned. Avail yourself, in this way, 
 of every opportunity which may be 
 placed within your reach. 
 
 You may do much to anticipate 
 and to prepare for conversation. You 
 expect, I will suppose, to be thrown into 
 the company of a gentleman residing 
 in a distant city. You will get some 
 hints in regard to its public institutions, 
 its situations, its business, and its ob- 
 jects of interest of every kind. Now 
 you cannot read the brief notices of this 
 sort which common books can furnish, 
 w^ithout having your curiosity excited, 
 in regard to some points at least, and 
 you will go into the company of the 
 stranger, not dreading his presence' and 
 shrinking fixim the nece^ty of corivw-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 137 
 
 sation, but eager to avail yourself of 
 the opportunity of gratifying your cu- 
 riosity, and learning something full and 
 satisfactory from an eye-witness of the 
 scenes which the book had so briefly 
 described. By this means, too, the 
 knowledge of books and of conversa- 
 tion — of study and of real life — will 
 be brought together ; and this is a most 
 important object for you to secure. It 
 will give vividness and an air of real- 
 ity to written description, if you can 
 frequently, after reading the descrip- 
 tion, have an opportunity to converse 
 with one who has seen the object or 
 the scene described. 
 
 You may make a more general pre- 
 paration for the opportunities for con- 
 versation which you will enjoy. Con- 
 sider what places and what scenes 
 those with whom you may be casually 
 thrown into connection, will most fre- 
 quently have visited, and make your- 
 self as much acquainted with them as 
 
 K
 
 138 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 possible ; you can then converse about 
 them. Ascertain, too, what are the 
 common topics of conversation in the 
 place in which you reside, and learn, 
 by reading or by inquiry, all you can 
 about them ; so that you can be pre- 
 pared to understand fully what you 
 hear, and make your own inquiries ad- 
 vantageously, and thus be prepared to 
 engage intelligently and with good ef- 
 fect, in the conversation in which you 
 may have an opportunity to join. 
 
 On the same principle, it will be well 
 for you, when you meet with any diffi- 
 culty in your reading, or when, in pri- 
 vate meditations, any inquiries arise in 
 your minds which you cannot your- 
 selves satisfactorily answer, not to dis- 
 miss them from your minds as difficul- 
 ties which must remain because you 
 cannot yourselves remove them. Con- 
 sider Avho of your acquaintances will 
 be most probably able to assist you in 
 regard to each. One may be a philo- 
 sophical question, another a point of
 
 The young .man. 139 
 
 general literature, and a third may be 
 a question of christian duty. By a 
 moment's reflection, you will easily de- 
 termine to whom each ought to be re- 
 ferred ; and, when the next opportu- 
 ' ity occurs, you can refer them, and 
 _ive yourself and your triend equal 
 pleasure, by the conversation you will 
 thus introduce. 
 
 Conversation aflbrds one of the most 
 important means of digesting what 
 is read and heard. In fact you can- 
 not talk about what you learn without 
 digesting it. Sometimes two persons 
 read together, aloud, by turns ; each 
 one freely remarking upon what is 
 heard, making inquiries, or bringing 
 forward additional facts or illustrations 
 connected with the subject. Some- 
 times two persons, reading separately, 
 come afterward together for a walk, 
 and each one describes his own book, 
 and relates the substance of what it 
 contains, as far as he has read, bring- 
 ing down at each successive meeting
 
 140 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 the narrative of the description, as far 
 as the reader has gone. By this 
 means, eacli acquires the power of lan- 
 guage and expression, digests and fixes 
 what he has read, and also gives in- 
 formation to his companion. If any 
 two of my readers will try this experi- 
 ment, they will find much pleasure and 
 improvement from it. 
 
 EGOTISIVl. 
 
 Upon all occasions, avoid speaking of 
 yourself, if it be possible. Some speak- 
 advantageously of themselves without 
 either pretence or provocation. This is 
 downright impudence. Others proceed 
 more artfully, as they imagine ; forming 
 accusations against themselves, and 
 complaining of calumnies which they 
 never heard, in order to justify them- 
 selves and exhibit a catalogue of their
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 141 
 
 many virtues. This thin veil of mod- 
 esty, drawn before vanity, is much too 
 transparent to conceal it, even from 
 those who have but a moderate share 
 of penetration. 
 
 Others go to work more modestly 
 and slily still ; they confess themselves 
 guilty of all the cardinal virtues, by 
 first degrading them into weaknesses, 
 and then acknowledging their misfortune 
 in being made up of those weaknesses. 
 '■ They cannot see people laboring 
 under misfortunes, without sympathi- 
 zing with and endeavoring to help 
 them. They cannot see their fellow- 
 creatures in distress, without relieving 
 them ; though, truly, their circumstan- 
 ces cannot very well afford it. They 
 cannot avoid speaking the truth, though 
 they acknowledge it to be sometimes 
 imprudent. In short, they confess that, 
 with all their weaknesses, they are not 
 fit to live in the world, much less to 
 prosper in it. But they are now too 
 old to pursue a contrary conduct."
 
 142 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 This principle of vanity and pride is 
 so strong in human nature, that it man- 
 ifests itself in a variety of shapes : One 
 man will pride himself in taking the 
 lead in all conversations, and peremp- 
 torily deciding upon every subject. 
 Another, desirous of appearing success- 
 ful among women, will insinuate the 
 encouragement he has met v/ith, and 
 the conquests he makes, and boasts of 
 favors which be never received. If he 
 speak truth, he is ungenerous ; if false, 
 he is a villain ; but, whether true or 
 false, he defeats his own purposes, over- 
 throws the reputation he wishes to erect, 
 and draws upon himself contempt, in- 
 stead of respect. Some men will boast 
 of the great respect that is paid them 
 upon all occasions, and the number of 
 invitations that is sent them from all 
 quarters. Such will disturb a whole com- 
 pany at their entrance, and beg there 
 may be no ceremony ; call themselves 
 the saddest fellows for disappointing so 
 many places to which they have been
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 143 
 
 invited, and tell you, that, out of ten in- 
 vitations which they had received for 
 dinners, (though perhaps they had re- 
 ceived no other) they have given yours 
 the preference. Some again are vain 
 enough to think they acquire conse- 
 quence by alliance or acquaintance 
 with persons of distinguished charac- 
 ter or abilities ; hence they are eternal- 
 ly talking of their grandfather, Judge 
 such-a-one ; their kinsman, Col. such- 
 a-one ; or their intimate friend, Dr. 
 such-a-one, with whom perhaps they 
 are scarcely acquainted. If they 
 are ever found out, (and that they 
 are sure to be some time or other,) 
 they appear ridiculous and contempti- 
 ble ; but, even admitting what they 
 say is true, what then ? A man's in- 
 trinsic merit does not arise from an en- 
 nobled alliance, or a reputable acquain- 
 tance. A rich man never borrows. 
 
 The vanity of intimating that others 
 value you highly, or esteem you affec- 
 tionately, is extremely paltry and ab-
 
 144 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 surd. To let it be known that a dis- 
 tinguished man asked their opinion on 
 a certain point, or expressed such an 
 opinion as to their character or abihties, 
 is a favorite mode of self-puffing with 
 some. But as everybody sees that they 
 themselves pull the puppets which thus 
 pay them homage, it generally goes for 
 nothing. A fanatic in Germany once 
 went to the expense of having a plate 
 engraved, in which he was represented 
 kneeling before a crucifix, with a label 
 from his mouth, " Lord Jesus, do you 
 love me ?" And from the month of 
 Jesus proceeded another label, " Yes, 
 most illustrious, most excellent, and most 
 learned Sigerus, crowned poet of his 
 Imperial Majesty, and most worthy 
 rector of the University of Wittenburg, 
 yes, I love you."
 
 THE YOCXG MAN. 145 
 
 FURTHER HINTS ON CONVERSATION. 
 
 Avoid opposition and argument in con- 
 versation. What would be thought of 
 the courtesy ot' the person, who should 
 say to one who had just made a re- 
 mark, '" Now, sir, I will show you that 
 you are a fool, and that the observa- 
 tion that you have uttered is non- 
 sense ?" Yet that is the amount of 
 attacking what another has said, and 
 applying yourself to confute it. If your 
 companion has been so ill-bred as to as- 
 sail your remark directly, you should 
 not defend it, but receive his assault 
 in silence, and presently pass on to 
 something else. Of course, this does 
 not apply to a case, where two friends 
 apart are discussing a subject for the 
 truth's sake. 
 
 The minute circumstantiality of 
 those narrators, who exhibit every par-
 
 146 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 ticular of an event with the truth and 
 tastelessness of aChinese representation, 
 is excessively annoying. The audi- 
 ence is eager to reach the point of the 
 story, and the details, that keep them 
 back, are uninteresting. 
 
 Some persons have an awkward 
 habit of repeating the most striking 
 parts of a story, especially the main 
 point, if it has taken well the first time. 
 This is in very bad taste ; in most cases, 
 the story pleased the first time only be- 
 cause it was unexpected. 
 
 When you are in one company, you 
 should avoid exclusive panegyrics of 
 others, or eulogies of the pleasantness 
 of other places, times, or people. That 
 always imphes some contempt or dishke 
 of those you are with ; and is apt to 
 give offence. 
 
 Whatever may be your company, 
 always talk your best, and endeavor as 
 far as is in your power to conciliate 
 those who are near you. Dr. Johnson, 
 who was admitted to have been for
 
 V THE YOUNG MAX. 147 
 
 years the best talker in England, said 
 that he had obtained his proficiency by 
 resolving in early life always to speak 
 in the most correct and elegant form of 
 words which he could construct, and 
 never to utter anything in a negligent 
 or slovenly style. 
 
 Do not value the good opinion of 
 those around you too highly. Much 
 of the awkwardness and nervousness 
 of young persons, and many of their 
 fiiilures proceed from their feeling too 
 high a respect for others, and too much 
 deference for their presence. Exhibit 
 respect to others, but fear no man. Ac- 
 custom yourselves to scrutinize and con- 
 fute the opinions of others, in order that 
 you may have confidence when you 
 are with them. 
 
 The interjection of such phrases as, 
 '• You know," '" You see," '" Don't 
 you see ?" " Do you understand ?" 
 and similar ones, that stimulate the at- 
 tention and demand an answer, ought 
 to be avoided. Make your observa-
 
 148 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 tions in a calm and sedate way, which 
 your companion may attend to, or not, 
 as he pleases, and let them go for what 
 they are worth. 
 
 Talk frequently, but not long to- 
 gether, lest you tire the persons you 
 are speaking to : for few persons talk so 
 well upon a subject as to keep up the 
 attention of their hearers for any length 
 of time. Discourse in general ought 
 to be modest and humble ; as full of 
 matter and substance as you will, but 
 always delivered with respect and def- 
 erence to the company. 
 
 Avoid teUing stories in company, un- 
 less they are very short indeed, and 
 very applicable to the subject you are 
 upon ; and in this case relate thein in 
 as few words as possible, and without 
 the least digression. And, if your sto- 
 ry has any wit in it, be particularly 
 careful not to laugh at it yourself; it 
 loses half its zest by so doing. 
 
 In relating anything, keep clear of
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 149 
 
 repetitions, or any hacknej^ed expres- 
 sions, as, says he, or says she. 
 
 Digressions, likewise, should be guar- 
 ded against. A story is always more 
 agreeable without them. Of this kind 
 are, •' The gentleman I am telling you 
 of is the son of Mr. Thomas — who 
 lives in Harley street ; you must know 
 him — his brother has a horse that won 
 at the races." Or, " He was an up- 
 right, tall, old gentleman, who wore 
 long hair ; do not you recollect him ?" 
 
 There are others, equally trouble- 
 some, who will interrupt the story-tel- 
 ler, and labor to raise an argument of 
 DO consequence whatever : as, if he 
 says, '• I met Mr. Such-a-one, this 
 morning at nine o'clock, near St. 
 James', and he was saying" — the in- 
 terrupter will cry, " I must beg your 
 pardon, ^v, for that ; unwilling as I 
 am to interrupt you. I must tell you, 
 it must have been after nine, for I saw 
 him at St.Paul's at that time." 
 
 Some persons have a trick of hold-
 
 150 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 ing the persons they are speaking to by 
 the button, or the hand, in order to be 
 heard out ; conscious, probably, that 
 their tale is tiresome. Pra}', never 
 do this : if the person you speak to, is 
 hot as willing to hear your story as you 
 are to tell it, you had much better 
 break off in the middle ; for, if you tire 
 him once, he will be afraid to listen to 
 you a second time. 
 
 Others have a way of punching the 
 person they are talking to in the side, 
 or jogging him with their elbow ; nev- 
 er give way to this ; it will make your 
 company dreaded. 
 
 It is inexcusable to help out or fore- 
 stall the slow speaker, as if you alone 
 were rich in expressions, and he were 
 poor. You may take it for granted 
 that every one is vain enough to think 
 he can talk well, though be may mod- 
 estly deny it : helping a person out 
 therefore in his expressions, will stamp 
 the corrector with ill manners, except- 
 ing in cases where the speaker is evi-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 151 
 
 dently embarrassed, when it may be an 
 act of kindness. 
 
 Giving advice unasked is another 
 piece of rudeness ; it is in fact declar- 
 ing ourselves wiser than those to whom 
 we give it ; reproaching them with 
 ignorance and inexperience. 
 
 There is nothing more unpardonably 
 rude than seeming inattention to the 
 person who is speaking to you : though 
 you may meet with it in others, by all 
 means avoid it yourself. Some ill-bred 
 people, while others are speaking to 
 them, will, instead of looking at or at- 
 tending to them, perhaps fix their eyes 
 on the ceiling or some picture in the 
 room, look out of the window, play 
 with a dog, their watch-chain, or cane, 
 or even pick their nails ; this is a tacit 
 declaration that what is said is not wor- 
 thy of attention. 
 
 Carefully avoid mentioning or re- 
 viving any circumstance or expression 
 that may renew the affliction of any 
 one present, or bring disagreeable sub-
 
 152 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 jects to their remembrance. How dis- 
 tressing would it be to say to an af- 
 flicted parent, " Such a thing hajipen- 
 ed the day after your son was buried !" 
 How mortitying to cry out, " Bless me, 
 how ill you look to-day !" How rude 
 to observe to a ladj', who would be 
 thought young, " What a long time 
 it was since you had the honor first 
 to know her." Politeness would lead 
 us to put every one in good-humor. In 
 short, to speak of entertainments be- 
 fore the indigent, of sound limbs and 
 health before the infirm, of houses and 
 lands before one who has not so much 
 as a dwelling, of your prosperity before 
 the miserable, is not only unpolite, but 
 cruel ; and the comparison it gives 
 rise to, between your condition and that 
 of the person you speak to is excrucia- 
 ting. He also offends against po- 
 liteness, who praises another's singing 
 or touching an instrument, before such 
 as he has obliged to sing or play for his 
 own diversion.
 
 THE YOCNG MAN. 153 
 
 There are certain expressions which 
 are rude, and yet there are people of 
 liberal education that sometimes use 
 them ; as, " You do not understand 
 me ;" " It is not so ;" " You mistake ;" 
 " You know nothing of the matter ;" 
 &c. Is it not better to say, " I believe 
 I do not express myself so as to be un- 
 derstood ;" '• Let us consider it again, 
 whether we take it right or not." It 
 is much more polite and amiable to 
 make some excuse for another, even in 
 cases where he might justly be bla- 
 med, and to represent the mistake as 
 common to both ; rather than to charge 
 him with insensibility or incompre- 
 hension. 
 
 Be careful not to appear dark or 
 mysterious, lest you should be thought 
 suspicious ; than which there can 
 scarcely be a more unamiable char- 
 acter. 
 
 Only one word as to swearing ; 
 those, who allow themselves in it, and
 
 154 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 interlard their discourse with oaths, 
 can never be considered as gentlemen ; 
 they are generally people of low edu- 
 cation, and are unwelcome in good 
 company. It is a vice that has no 
 temptation to plead, but is, in every 
 respect, as vulgar as it is wicked. 
 
 But, above all, let no example, no 
 fashion, no witticism, no foolish desire 
 of rising above what the unprincipled 
 call prejudices tempt you to excuse, 
 extenuate, or ridicule, the least breach 
 of morality ; but on all occasions show 
 your disapprobation of such proceed- 
 ings, and hold virtue and religion in 
 the highest veneration. 
 
 Let your conversation be with those 
 by whom you may accomplish yourself 
 best ; for virtue never rfeturns with so 
 rich a cargo as when it sets sail from 
 such continents. Company, like cli- 
 mates, alters complexions ; and ill 
 company, by a kind of contagion, in- 
 sensibly infects us j soft and tender na-
 
 THE YOCNG MAN. 155 
 
 tures are apt to receive any impres- 
 sions. Alexander learned his drun- 
 kenness of Leonides, and Nero his cru- 
 ehy of his barber. 
 
 MARRIAGE DESIRABLE. 
 
 I AM fond, says an ardent friend of 
 youth, of contemplating the married 
 state as a school, in which, instead of 
 educatins: yourself alone, you are to be 
 concerned in improving the mental, 
 moral, and social condition of two per- 
 sons, and, in the end, perhaps of others. 
 You are to be a teacher ; you cannot 
 avoid this station if you would. But 
 you are also to be a learner. Dr. 
 Rush says, we naturally imitate the 
 manners and gradually acquire the 
 tempers of persons with whom we live, 
 provided they are the objects of our 
 affection and respect. " This,-' he
 
 156 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 adds, " hag been observed in husband.^ 
 and wives, who have lived long and 
 happily together ; and even in ser- 
 vants." And nothing can be more 
 true. 
 
 Not only your temper, and that of 
 your companion, but your whole char- 
 acter, considered as physical, mental, 
 and moral beings, will be mutually im- 
 proved or injured through life. You 
 will continue at a school of mutual in- 
 struction, which is to continue without 
 vacation or change of monitors, — per- 
 haps half a century ; — during every 
 one of the earliest years of which, your 
 character will be more really and more 
 permanently modified than in the same 
 amount of time in any prior period of 
 your education, unless it were your 
 veriest infancy. Surely, then, it is no 
 light affair to make preparation for a 
 school like this. There is no period in 
 the life of a young man so important ; 
 for there is none on which his happi- 
 ness and the happiness of others so eg-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 157 
 
 sentially depend. It is tme, that, like 
 other schools, it may result in the for- 
 mation of a bad character ; but, in pro- 
 portion to its power to accomplish ei- 
 ther good or bad results, will be its 
 value if wisely improved. 
 
 It is not to be denied, that this view 
 of the subject is in favor of early mar- 
 riage. And I can truly say, indeed, 
 that, every thing considered, early mar- 
 riage does appear to me highly de- 
 sirable. And it would require stronger 
 arguments than any which I have yet 
 seen adduced, even by some of our po- 
 litical economists, to make me surren- 
 der this opinion. 
 
 The only serious objection, of a pop- 
 ular kind, to early marriage, arises 
 from the difficulty of supporting a fam- 
 ily. But the parties themselves must 
 be supported at all events, whether 
 married or single. ' But the conse- 
 quences' — And what are the conse- 
 quences ? An earlier family indeed ; 
 but not of necessity a larger. I believe
 
 158 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 that facts will bear me out in stating, 
 that the sum total of the progeny of 
 every thousand families, who commence 
 at from twenty-five to thirty, is as great 
 as that of one thousand, who commence 
 at from twenty to twenty-five. 
 
 The question, however, will recur 
 whether families equally large cannot 
 be better maintained when marriage is 
 deferred to a later period. And it cer- 
 tainly is a question of immense impor- 
 tance. For nothing is more painful 
 than to see large families whose pa- 
 rents, whether young or more advan- 
 ced, have not the means of educating 
 them properly. It is also not a little 
 painful to find instances of poverty so 
 extreme that there is absolute suffer- 
 ing, from want of food and clothing. 
 
 But the question must be determin- 
 ed by facts. And it would be greatly 
 aiding the cause of humanity, if exten- 
 sive comparisons were made between 
 the pecuniary condition of those who 
 marry early, and those who defer the
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 159 
 
 subject to a later period. But, from 
 my own limited observation, I am fully 
 of opinion, that the result of the com- 
 parison would be greatly in favor of 
 early marriages. Should this prove to 
 be trae. the position which 1 have as- 
 sumed is, I think, established ; for it 
 appears to me that no other argument 
 for delay has any claim to our notice. 
 
 On the other hand, the following, 
 among other evils, are the results of de- 
 ferring marriage. 
 
 1. The temper and habits of the 
 parties become stiff and unyielding 
 when advanced in life, and they learn 
 to adapt themselves to each other with 
 difficulty. In the view which I have 
 taken above, they become miserable as 
 teachers, and still more miserable as 
 scholars. 
 
 2. Youth are thus exposed to the 
 dangers of forming habits of criminal 
 indulgence, as fatal to the health and 
 character, as they are ruinous to the 
 soul.
 
 160 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 3. Or, if they proceed not so far^ 
 they at least acquire the habit of 
 spending time in vain, or pernicious 
 amusements. All mankind must and 
 will seek for gratification of some sort 
 or other. And, aside from religious 
 principle, there is no certain security 
 against those amusements and indul- 
 gences which are pernicious and des- 
 tructive, but early and virtuous attach- 
 ments, and the pleasures afforded by 
 domestic life. He can never want for 
 amusement or rational gratification, 
 who is surrounded by a rising family, 
 for whom he has a genuine affection. 
 
 4. Long-continued celibacy con- 
 tracts the mind, if it does not enfeeble 
 it. For one open-hearted, liberal old 
 bachelor, you will -find ten who are 
 parsimonious, avaricious, cold-hearted, 
 and too often destitute of those sympa- 
 thies for their fellow beings, which mar- 
 ried life has a tendency to elicit and 
 perpetuate. 
 
 5. Franklin says that late marria-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 161 
 
 ges are attended with another inconve- 
 nience, viz. that the chance of Hving to 
 see our children educated is greatly di- 
 minished. 
 
 6. But I go further than I have 
 hitherto done, and insist that, other 
 things being equal, the young man has 
 the advantage in a pecuniary point of 
 view. This is a natural result from 
 the fact, that he is compelled to acquire 
 habits of frugality and industry ; and is 
 under less temptation to waste his 
 time in trifling, or pernicious amuse- 
 ments. But I appeal to facts ev-en 
 here. Look around you in the world, 
 and say if, out of a given number of 
 single persons, say one thousand, of the 
 age of thirty-five, there be not a great- 
 er number in poverty, than of the 
 same number who settled in life at 
 twenty. 
 
 Perhaps I ought barely to notice an- 
 other objection to these views. It is 
 said, that neither the mind nor the 
 body come to full maturity so early as
 
 162 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 we are apt to suppose. But is com- 
 plete maturity of body or mind indis- 
 pensable ? I am not advocating the 
 practice of marr3ing in childhood. It 
 takes some time for the affections to- 
 ward an individual to ripen and become 
 settled. This is a matter involving 
 too high responsibilities to justify haste. 
 The consequences, generally speaking, 
 are not confined to this life : they ex- 
 tend to eternity. 
 
 Tacitus says : " Early marriage 
 makes us immortal. It is the soul and 
 chief prop of empire. That man who 
 resolves to live without a woman, and 
 that woman who resolves to live with- 
 out a man, are enemies to the commu- 
 nity in which they dwell, enemies to 
 themselves, destructive to the whole 
 world, apostate from nature, and rebels 
 against heaven and earth."
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 163 
 
 COQUETRY. 
 
 In the progress of an intimate acquain- 
 tance with a young lady, should it be 
 discovered that there are certain traits 
 of character in one of the parties, which 
 both are fully convinced will be a source 
 of unhappiness through life, there may 
 be no special impropriety in separa- 
 ting. And yet even then I would say, 
 avoid haste. Better consider for an 
 hour, than repent for a year or for life. 
 But let it be remembered, that, before 
 measures of this kind are even hinted 
 at, there must be a full conviction of 
 their necessity, and the mutual and 
 hearty concurrence of both parties. 
 Any steps of this kind, the reasons for 
 which are not fully understood on both 
 sides, and mutually satisfactory, as 
 well as equally explicable to those 
 friends who have a right to inquire on
 
 164 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 the subject, are criminal ; — nay, more ; 
 tliey are brutal. 
 
 I conceive that the frequent opinion 
 among young men that nothing is 
 binding but a direct promise of mar- 
 riage in so many words, is not only er- 
 roneous, but highly dishonorable to those 
 who hold it. The strongest pledges 
 are frequently given without the inter- 
 change of words. Actions speak loud- 
 er than words ; and there is an attach- 
 ment sometimes formed, and a confi- 
 dence reposed, which would be, in eflect, 
 weakened, by formalities. The man, 
 who would break a silent engagement, 
 merely because it is a silent one, es- 
 pecially when he has taken a course of 
 conduct which he knew would be likely 
 to result in such an engagement, and 
 which perhaps he even designed, is 
 deserving of the public contempt. He 
 is even a monster unfit to live in de- 
 cent society. 
 
 Some young men reason thus with 
 themselves. If doubts about the future
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 165 
 
 have already arisen — if my affections 
 already begin to waver at times — 
 what is not to be expected after mar- 
 riage ? And is it not better to sepa- 
 rate, even without a mutual concur- 
 rence, than to make others, perhaps 
 many others, unhappy for Hfe 1 
 
 In reply, I would observe, in the 
 first place, that, though this is the usual 
 reason which is assigned in such cases, 
 it is not generally the true one. The 
 fact is, the imagination is suffered to 
 wander where it ought not ; and the 
 affections are not guarded and re- 
 strained, and confined to their proper 
 object. And, if there is a diminu- 
 tion of attachment, it is not owing to 
 any change in others, but in ourselves. 
 If our affection has become less ar- 
 dent, let us look within for the cause. 
 Shall others suffer for our own fault ? 
 
 But. secondly, we may do much to 
 control the affections, even after they 
 have begun to wander. We still seek 
 the happiness of the object oi^ our
 
 166 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 choice more perhaps than -that of any 
 other individual. Then let us make 
 it our constant study to promote it. It 
 is a law of our natures, as irrevocable 
 as that of the attraction of gravita- 
 tion, that doing good to others produ- 
 ces love to them. And for my own 
 part, I do not believe the affections of a 
 young man can diminish towards one 
 whose happiness he is constantly stu- 
 dying to promote by every means in 
 his power, admitting there is no obvi- 
 ous change in her character. So that 
 no young person of principle ought 
 ever to anticipate any such result. 
 
 Nor has a man any right to sport 
 with the affections of a young v>?oraan, 
 in any way whatever. Vanity is gen- 
 erally the tempter in this case ; a de- 
 sire to be regarded as being admired 
 by women ; a very despicable spe- 
 cies of vanity, but frequently very mis- 
 chievous notwithstanding. You do 
 not indeed actually, in so many words, 
 promise to marry, but the general
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 167 
 
 tenor of your language and deport- 
 ment has that meaning ; you know 
 that your meaning is so uncle: stood ; 
 and, if you have not such meaning ; if 
 you be fixed by some previous engage- 
 ment with, or greater liking for anoth- 
 er ; if you know you are here sowing 
 the seeds of disappointment ; and if 
 you persevere, in spite of the admoni- 
 tions of conscience, you are guilty of 
 deliberate deception, injustice, and cru- 
 elty. You make to God an ungrateful 
 return for those endowments which 
 have enabled you to achieve this inglo- 
 rious and unmanly triumph ; and it', as 
 is frequently the case, you glory in 
 such triumph, you may have person, 
 riches, talents, to excite envy ; but ev- 
 ery just and humane man will abhor 
 your heart. 
 
 The most direct injury against the 
 spiritual nature of a fellow being is, by 
 leading him into vice. I have heard 
 one young man. who was intrusted six 
 days in the week to form the minds
 
 168 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 and hearts of a score or twa of his 
 fellow beings, deliberately boast of the 
 number of the other sex he had mis- 
 led. What can be more base ? And 
 must not a terrible retribution await 
 such Heaven-daring miscreants ? Whe- 
 ther they accomplish their purposes by 
 solicitation, by imposing on the judg- 
 ment, or by powerful compulsion5 the 
 wrong is the same, or at least of the 
 same nature ; and nothing but timely 
 and hearty repentance can save a 
 wretch of this description from punish- 
 ment, either here or hereafter. 
 
 ' Some tempers,' says Burgh, ' are 
 BO impotently ductile, that they can 
 refuse nothing to repeated solicitation. 
 Whoever takes the advantage of such 
 persons is guilty of the lowest base- 
 ness. Yet nothing is more common 
 than for the debauched part of our sex 
 to show their heroism by a poor triumph 
 over weak, easy, thoughtless women ! 
 — Nothing is more frequent than to 
 hear them boast of the ruin of that vir-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 169 
 
 tue, of which they ought to have been 
 the defenders. " Poor fool ! she loved 
 me, and therefore she could refuse me 
 nothing !" Base coward ! Dost thou 
 boast of thy conquest over one who, by 
 thy own confession, was disabled for 
 resistance, — disabled by hgy^^ affection 
 for thy worthless self ! Does affection 
 deserve such a return ? Dost thou 
 pride thyself that thou hast had art 
 enough to decoy the harmless lamb 
 to thy hand, that thou mightest shed 
 its blood ?" 
 
 And yet there are such monsters 
 as Burgh alludes to. There are just 
 such beings scattered up and down 
 even the fairest portions of the world 
 we hve in, to mar its beauty. We 
 may hope, for the honor of human na- 
 ture, they are few. He, who can bring 
 himself to believe their number to be as 
 great as one in a thousand, may well 
 be disposed to blush, 
 
 * And hang his head, to own himself a man. 
 M
 
 170 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 I have sometimes wished these be- 
 ings — men they are not — would 
 reflect^ if it were but for one mo- 
 ment. They will not deny the ex- 
 cellency of the golden rule in the- 
 ory ; why then should they despise it 
 in practice I 
 
 Let them think a moment. Let 
 them imagine themselves in the place 
 of the injured party. Could this point 
 be gained ; could they be induced to 
 reflect long enough to see the enormity 
 of their guilt as it really is, or as the 
 Father in Heaven may be supposed 
 to see it, there might be hope in their 
 case. Or, if they find it difficult to 
 view themselves as the injured, let 
 them suppose rather a sister or a daugh- 
 ter. What seducer is so lost to all 
 natural affection, as not to have his 
 whole soal revolt at the bare thought 
 of having a beloved sister, or daugh- 
 ter, experience the treatment which he 
 has inflicted ? Yet the being whom 
 he has ruined had brothers or parents ;
 
 tllE YOUNG MAN. 171 
 
 and those brothers had a sister ; and 
 I, those parents a daughter ! 
 
 QUALITIES liVIPORTANT IN A WIFE. 
 
 In regard to the qualifications for a 
 good wife, a discreet young man would 
 piobably look for something like the 
 following : — 
 
 Good disposition. Nothing can be 
 more essential to domestic happiness, 
 than this. Woe to the man, who has a 
 fretful, irritable, fault-finding, ungrateful, 
 ill-natured wife! But few men, unless 
 strongly fortified withChristian principle 
 can abide the trial. How many, after 
 long struggling to please their wives, 
 and finding it impossible, have lost their 
 ambition, given up in despair, and 
 turned away to the cup of death and the 
 abodes of vice ! 
 
 You will not, of course, judge of her
 
 172 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 disposition, by her conduct towards 
 you, while receiving your attentions ; 
 but it is generally pretty well known 
 by her intimate acquaintances, espe- 
 cially by her teachers. 
 
 Domestic virtues. No young wom- 
 an is fit to be married till she has 
 learned how to keep house. Seek a 
 wife of domestic virtues, if you would 
 know domestic happiness, or be able to 
 live well within your means. You may 
 generally, not always, know the habits 
 of the daughter, in this respect, by 
 knowing those of the mother ; there 
 are also other and surer ways of ascer- 
 taining them. The domestic virtues 
 need not by any means preclude the 
 highest and most accomplished edu- 
 cation. Some of the most intelligent, 
 refined, and finished ladies in our land, 
 have been the most excellent house- 
 keepers. 
 
 Good sense and intdligence. The 
 intellect of the wife is usually taken 
 as a representation of her husband's
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 173 
 
 taste and judgment. How corroding, 
 then, must it be to him, always to feel 
 in jeopardy of being exposed by her 
 weakness, or mortified by her indiscre- 
 tion, or interrupted by her imperti- 
 nence, or disgraced by her vanity or 
 presumption. 
 
 And, further, it being the law of our 
 nature that we assimilate to those with 
 whom we are intimate, it can hardly 
 be expected that so intimate a relation 
 as that of husband and wife should 
 long exist, without his participating 
 somewhat of her character. What- 
 ever is weak or eccentric in her, cannot 
 be removed, but it will find its way 
 more or less into his own mind, and 
 at length induce him to act in many 
 instances with weakness and indis- 
 cretion. 
 
 Agreeable person and good health. 
 Too much importance is usually at- 
 tached to beauty. Yet it has always 
 had its admirers, and always will have 
 them. Whatever is truly beautiful in
 
 174 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 nature or in art, will ever attract ad- 
 miration and excite pleasure. It is al- 
 ways desirable, therefore, that the per- 
 son of your companion should be such 
 as to please your eye ; such as you 
 will never be tired of beholding ; but, 
 beyond this, the external appearance is 
 of little importance. The love, that 
 is produced by mere external beauty, 
 is gross, sensual, and of short duration. 
 The intellect and the heart must ever 
 afford both the occasion and the object 
 of all genuine and abiding love. If 
 you are a man of any sense, you will 
 soon become disgusted with even the 
 finest exterior, if it is found to be asso- 
 ciated with a weak mind and a bad 
 disposition. Rarely, if ever, is a per- 
 manently happy match formed upon 
 the mere principles of external beauty. 
 Besides, how soon does the fairest flow- 
 er fade ! How frequently do the most 
 beautiful girls make the ugliest women ! 
 It is not to be expected, however, that 
 many of my readers will pay much
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 175 
 
 attention to this remark. There are 
 some things which never will be learn- 
 ed but by experience, of which this is 
 clearly one. 
 
 I shall venture, however, to repeat 
 the remark, with the presumption that 
 the reader will some time or other ac- 
 knowledge its truth, that, connected 
 with gracefulness of form and manner, 
 it is the expression of intelligence, ani- 
 mation, and benignity, which, to a tru- 
 ly cultivated and good mind, ultimate- 
 ly constitutes the essential element of 
 beauty. 
 
 The importance of a good constitu- 
 tion and of health in the person who 
 is to be your companion for life, both 
 to yourself and to your children, is so 
 obvious as only to require to be 
 mentioned. 
 
 Neatness. One of the most indis- 
 pensable of all the female virtues, es- 
 pecially in an individual sustaining 
 the relation of wife and housekeeper. 
 Many a man has been mortified, hum-
 
 176 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 bled, broken down and ruined, by Iiav- 
 ing a slattern for his wife. It is very 
 seldom that a husband becomes intem- 
 perate or vicious when his wife is thor- 
 oughly neat and tidy in her person 
 and house. As long as she is invi- 
 ting and tasteful in her appearance, 
 carefully retains the attractions of her 
 maidenhood, serves him witii sAveet 
 and wholesome food, diffuses an air of 
 purity and comfort about her, it is hardly 
 in any husband, not already brutalized 
 by vice, to stray from the paradise which 
 she creates, in search of happiness. 
 A very little discrimination and in- 
 quiry may certify you respecting the 
 habits of any young woman in this 
 particular ; and, if she is not neat be- 
 fore she is married, you may be sure 
 she never will be afterwards. 
 
 Sympathy in your calling. Noth- 
 ing contributes more to sustain a man 
 and to urge him forward in the du- 
 ties of his calling, than the lively sym- 
 pathies of his wife. If she discovers
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 177 
 
 a pleasure and a pride in his employ- 
 ment and his success, if she gives him 
 her cheering support in his trials, if 
 she enters with warm and lively in- 
 terest into the very objects which most 
 engage his own heart, he is rendered 
 mo;e than doubly strong and happy. 
 Make it a primary object, then, if you 
 would taste the sweets of domestic life, 
 to seek for your wife a person of a 
 lively and sympathizing spirit. De- 
 pend upon it, no beauty of person, nor 
 grace of manner, nor learning, nor 
 wit, will ever atone for the absence of 
 this. Without this, you will not long 
 love her with a full heart ; and with 
 this, even in the absence of many other 
 desirable qualities, you can hardly fail 
 to love her with a constant and grow- 
 ing aifection. 
 
 Religion. Of all the virtues, that 
 can adorn a wife, this is transcen- 
 dently the most important. An irre- 
 ligious young man once said to me, " I 
 make no pretensions to religion my-
 
 178 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 self, but I would much prefer a relig- 
 ious wife." He showed good sense in 
 the remark, but I would never advise 
 a pious woman to marry an irreligious 
 man. It is truly surprising, that, in a 
 world of so many excellent females, 
 any man in his sober senses, and es- 
 pecially any Christian, should ever 
 think of taking up with an irreligious 
 person for his wife. 
 
 It is not enough that your wife 
 should be Christian, merely in some 
 low or indifferent sense. If you would 
 know the sweets of domestic bliss, and 
 secure your own highest usefulness 
 and glory, her piety must be of an 
 eminently pure and elevated charac- 
 ter. Her heart must be bathed in 
 heaven. She must be richly imbued 
 with that unearthly, sweet, contented, 
 amiable, benevolent spirit of her Sa- 
 vior, which, by frequent communion 
 with God, has learned to look away 
 from this world, and to bear you above 
 all its vexations and disappointments ;
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 179 
 
 which will relieve you of one of the 
 greatest of all anxieties, by making 
 you feel that, whatever ills may be- 
 tide you in this changing world, they 
 cannot destroy the happiness of your 
 wife, cannot clothe her sunny face with 
 either frowns or sorrows, cannot dis- 
 turb the heaven-born serenity of her 
 spirit. O what a treasure is such a wife ! 
 
 Above all things, then, if you have 
 any regard to your temporal peace, as 
 well as to your everlasting happi- 
 ness, let elevated, consistent, well-form- 
 ed piety be the essential character of 
 her who is to be the chosen companion 
 of your bosom. But remember that, 
 to be worthy of such a companion, you 
 must yourself possess the same char- 
 acter. 
 
 Let no regard for money have place 
 among the motives which determine 
 your choice. It is doubtful whether 
 ever a man married for money who did 
 not, or will not, see cause to regret 
 it. This is too sacred an institution to
 
 180 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 be debased, with impunity, by such 
 sordid motives. Still rich ladies must 
 have husbands, and of course some- 
 body must marry them. If all the 
 other qualifications pertain to a lady, 
 and a gentleman really loves her, the 
 simple objection that she has some 
 one or two hundred thousand dollars, 
 would not probably in most cases be 
 insurmountable. If you should ever 
 have occasion to surmount such an ob- 
 jection, which it is rather to be hoped 
 you will not, your best w^ay will be 
 never to have anything to do with 
 your wife's property. Let it be secu- 
 red to her in law before you are mar- 
 ried, that you may never bear the re- 
 proach* of wasting her estate, or living 
 upon her interest. 
 
 It is better for your own safety 
 also, that all your intercourse with a 
 lady, before your mind is fully made 
 up, should be of such a character as 
 not to awaken the least suspicion. 
 Then her conduct is more unconstrain-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 181 
 
 ed and artless ; you can study her 
 mind and character better ; you can 
 make your inquiries of others, and ob- 
 tain honest answers. Having made 
 your choice, and obtained the object of 
 your desire, let it be your ambition that 
 both she, and those who gave her to 
 you, may ever find increasing cause to 
 rejoice in the union. 
 
 HINTS TO YOUNG HUSBANDS. 
 
 Married life is not always as happy 
 as it might be, and those who have 
 at first resolved to live for each other, 
 sometimes end their career in mutual 
 dislike. But if it does not come to this, 
 there are often little disagreements, mis- 
 understandings, and troubles, which 
 destroy the peace of married people ; 
 and in general the fault is to be tra- 
 ced to a want of consideration, a littlq
 
 1812 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 precipitancy of action on one side or the 
 other. Half the success of married hfe de- 
 pends upon the attention paid to trijies. 
 Uniform kindness of manner is a sure 
 method of preserving domestic quiet. 
 
 ' Husbands should always regard 
 their wives as equals, and treat them 
 with kindness, respect, and attention. 
 They should never address them with 
 ;ui air of authority, nor as a master, 
 lior interfere with domestic concerns, 
 tiie employment or discharge of ser- 
 vants. The wife should always be 
 gupplied with money in proportion to 
 her husband's means, that she may pro- 
 cure those things indispensable to the 
 table and for her personal comfort. 
 Her reasonable v>rishes should be cheer- 
 fully complied with ; temper never 
 should be shown at those slight irreg- 
 ularities in the domestic arrangements 
 which will occasionally occur in fami- 
 lies, and are often unavoidable. If the 
 wife be a strong-minded and prudent 
 woman, she is her husband's best coun-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 183 
 
 sellor, and should be consulted in every 
 difficulty. Many a man has been sa- 
 ved from ruin by this course, and many 
 an one ruined by not adopting it. If 
 the husband's circumstances are em- 
 barrassed, she should know it ; as v:o- 
 men, who are kept in ignorance of 
 them, often expend money which they 
 would not do if they knew the truth. 
 
 A wnfe should never be rebuked or 
 chidden in company for any little mis- 
 takes in conversation, or any other 
 cause. Some men do this constantly, 
 and strike a keener dart at the feel- 
 ings of a sensitive woman, than they 
 would by a sharp rebuke in private. 
 Anything like an exposure of igno- 
 rance in company, impairs her respect 
 for herself and the good opinion enter- 
 tained of her by others. 
 
 You may have great trials and per- 
 plexities in your business, and in your 
 intercourse with the world ; but do not 
 therefore carry to your home a cloud- 
 ed or contracted brow. Your wife
 
 184 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 may have had trials, which, though of 
 less magnitude, may have been as hard 
 to bear. Do not increase her difficul- 
 ties. A kind, conciliating word, a ten- 
 der look, will do wonders in chasing 
 from her brow all clouds and gloom. 
 You encounter your difficulties in the 
 open air, fanned by heaven's cool bree- 
 zes, but your wife is often shut in from 
 these healthful influences, and her 
 health fails, and her spirits lose their 
 elasticity. But bear with her, she has 
 trials and sorrows to which you are 
 a stranger, but which your tenderness 
 can deprive of all their keenness. 
 
 Notice kindly her little attentions 
 and efforts to promote your comfort. 
 Do not take them all as matters of 
 course, and pass them by, at the same 
 time being very sure to observe any 
 omission of what you may consider 
 her duty to you. Do not treat her 
 with indifference, if you would not 
 sear and palsy a heart which, watered 
 by gentleness and kindness, would, to
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 185 
 
 the latest day of your existence, throb 
 with sincere and constant affection. 
 
 Somelimes yield your wishes to 
 hers. She has preferences as strong 
 as you, and it may be just as trying 
 to her to yield her choice, as to you. 
 Do you find it hard to yield some- 
 times 7 Think you it is not difficult 
 for her to give up always ? If you 
 never yield to her wishes, there is dan- 
 ger that she will feel you are selfish, 
 and care only for yourself ; and, with 
 such a feeling, she cannot love you as 
 she ought. Again, 
 
 Show yourself manly, so that your 
 wife can look up to you, and feel that 
 you will act nobly, and that she can 
 confide in your judgment. 
 
 Finally, where there is any differ- 
 ence between man and wife, let the 
 contest not be who shall show the 
 most spirit, but who shall make the 
 first advances to reconciliation. Each 
 should treat the other with the respect
 
 186 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 which, if they were strangers, would 
 be a matter of course. 
 
 THE ELEMENTS OF GENIUS. 
 
 This article will derive additional 
 force and interest, if we mention that 
 it is from the pen of Elihu Burritt, " the 
 learned blacksmith," wJio himself af- 
 fords a living exemplification of the 
 truth of these remarks. 
 
 An individual, with a laudable spirit 
 of emulation, sees men standing upon 
 an eminence which he has determined 
 to reach. He appreciates the nature 
 and necessity of the exertion, and sets 
 himself to work with an earnest assidu- 
 ity that never tires nor faints. At 
 first, he labors like a prisoner who is 
 trying to dig through the granite 
 dungeon wall with a nail or a knife ; 
 he conceals every stroke from the pub-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 187 
 
 lie eye, lest his friends and neighbors 
 should laugh at his tortoise step. He 
 goes on : every inch is gained'^by a 
 painful effort. He bends every oppo- 
 sing circumstance to his service ; he 
 lays seige to every obstacle and car- 
 ries it, as one would carry a redoubt, 
 and turns it against the next obstruc- 
 tion. A steep over-hanging rock 
 blocks up his path and threatens him 
 with destruction. He must scale this, 
 or never ascend another inch. Years 
 roll on, and find him cutting his wind- 
 ing way up the precipitous bulwark : 
 steadily he keeps his eye to the top, 
 until the last niche is finished ; and, 
 when he proudly plants his foot upon 
 the vanquished rock, he finds himself 
 the lord of a fortress which commands 
 every other post that intervenes be- 
 tween him and the summit-goal of his 
 ambition. Every obstacle he meets 
 serves only to increase his upward 
 gradation. He reaches the top, and, 
 as he wipes his brow and casts his eye
 
 188 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 down his winding path, he sees that 
 all the obstacles he encountered were 
 like friendly though frowning giants 
 that lifted him from one steep to an- 
 other, till he reached the goal. Did 
 Fortune, Chance, or Native Genius help 
 him up the eminence ? No ; fortune 
 was his first foe ; and he fought with 
 her at every inch, and dragged her 
 with him to the top, a docile prisoner. 
 What did chance do for him in the 
 outset ? It was a screeching phan- 
 tom, that struck its black wings in his 
 face, and rolled rocks in his path at 
 every step. He braced up his heart 
 and bearded the providence of fate, 
 and allied himself to a more available 
 auxiliary, the common providence of 
 God. But he had native genius on 
 his side I Yes ; but it was a genius 
 which he begat himself ; it was the 
 legitimate offspring of his own faculties ; 
 which he believed and proved were 
 able to produce this attribute of the in- 
 tellectual soul. He had a mind : and
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 189 
 
 SO has every other man ; and that mind 
 had just so many facuhies, and no 
 more. True they were weak at first, 
 and he knew it, and his fellows might 
 have laughed at him for it ; but he 
 found by experiment that these facul- 
 ties, like those of every other man, 
 were endowed with a susceptibility of 
 cultivation and a capacity of strength 
 sufficient for any emergency or attain- 
 ment. He dared not tell the world 
 so ; for it would have been disrespect- 
 ful to the royal blood of genius, and he 
 would have been denounced a heretic 
 to the established faith. But he went 
 to work in secret, as every man is obli- 
 ged to do ; and he was half way up 
 the eminence before the world knew 
 it. From that point to the apex of his 
 career, he was called and crowned a 
 genius. The prerogatives of this title 
 are fixed with precision, and the cere- 
 monies ot the coronation are the 
 same now as they were under the 
 dynasty of Mount Olympus. The
 
 190 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 modern process is something after this 
 fashion : — 
 
 A man, called a biographer^ is sent 
 after the genius, with all the machinery 
 invented for the operation. As soon as 
 the candidate for immortality has ceas- 
 ed to climb, the biographer, or rather 
 hiotapher^ sets to work might and 
 main. He knows his task and performs 
 it too. He strikes into the base of the 
 eminence, and digs away every foot- 
 print of his hero's ascent ; he tears a- 
 way the rocks he scaled, and the shrubs 
 he grasped. He cuts away the accliv- 
 ity, and shows the man standing upon 
 the jutting edge of a perpendicular 
 mountain, steep and inaccessible as the 
 sides of Gibraltar. One stroke more, 
 and his work is done ; it is the crowning 
 touch of the apotheosis ; he writes upon 
 the forehead of his unresisting victim, 
 Nascitur non fit^ in glaring capitals ; 
 tlien, turning to the world, exclaims, 
 
 ECCE HOMO ! 
 
 This is the history of genius, given
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 191 
 
 in the language of common life ; this 
 is the process of ge}ihis making, which 
 has filled the world with the graven 
 images of deified intellect, wiiich only 
 serve to overawe the people. 'Tis 
 gross injustice, the whole of it. This 
 process embodies all the elements of 
 the ancient apotheosis. It digs an im- 
 mense chasm between man and man, 
 and breaks up the high road between 
 the incipient and terminating limits of 
 his intellectual capacity. In this way, 
 the monuments of industry and appli- 
 cation, which great and good men de- 
 signed as way-marks to higher lati- 
 tude of intellectual eminence, are turn- 
 ed into steep, impassable barriers which 
 circumscribe one's sphere of thought 
 and action-
 
 192 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 A BROAD MIND. 
 
 A FEW days since, I heard a clergyman 
 describe a deacon of his acquaintance 
 as " a man of a broad mind." The 
 expression reminded- me of a little in- 
 cident that occrftred when F'was in the 
 city of Paris, Being in company one 
 evening with several literary and reli- 
 gious friends, Mons. was pointed 
 
 out to me as editor of one of the best 
 religious journals in France — a man of 
 consistent piety, and a decided protes- 
 tant. He was very diminutive in size, 
 and to a stranger appeared quite unat- 
 tractive. While conversing with 
 Mons. , a worthy protestant min- 
 ister, who preaches in the Faubourg du 
 Temple, the conversation turned upon 
 the religious periodial literature of Pa- 
 ris, and ultimately upon the little edi- 
 tor aforesaid. This
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 193 
 
 knowledge of English was very limit- 
 ed, remarked concerning him, ''He is a 
 very large man." Without thinking 
 of the French sense in which he used the 
 word large. I instantly turned to see if 
 I had mistaken the physical propor- 
 tions of the editor, and to see, what I 
 had not yet seen, a large Frenchman. 
 My optics served me as before, and 
 then the true idea occurred, that the 
 description was figurative, and appli- 
 ed to the mind rather than the body. 
 Subsequent acquaintance with the 
 gentleman satisfied me that his ad- 
 mirer had not spoken too strongly — 
 that he was truly " a very large 
 man." His mind was dev^eloped in 
 breadth as well as in length and height, 
 and therefore stood firmly on its basis, 
 Truth. He took broad views of every 
 subject, and consequently his opinions 
 were intelligent and comprehensive. 
 His philanthropy was broad., embra- 
 cing the whole human family. I have 
 seldom seen a man who answered so
 
 194 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 perfectly to the description — " very 
 larffe.'''' 
 
 ATTAINMENT OF KNOWLEDGE. 
 
 Dr. Olinthus Gregory says: " With 
 a few exceptions, (so ^qw indeed that 
 they need scarcely be taken into a 
 practical estimate,) any person may 
 learn any thing upon which he sets 
 his heart. To insure success, he has 
 simply so to discipline his mind as to 
 check its vagaries, — to cure it of its 
 proneness to be doing two or more 
 things at a time, — and to compel it 
 to direct its combined energies, simul- 
 taneously, to a single object, and thus 
 to do one thing- at once. This I 
 consider as one of the most difficult, 
 but one of the most useful lessons that 
 a 3^oung man can learn.
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 19 
 
 READING. 
 
 It is the glory of man that he is made 
 capable of endless improvement in 
 knowledge, virtue, and happiness. And 
 it is the high privilege of those who 
 dwell in this country that they enjoy 
 h) rich abundance the means of such 
 improvement. Among these means, 
 hooks hold a prominent place. They 
 are indeed our principal instructers, 
 and do more, perhaps, in the formation 
 of our intellectual and moral habits, 
 than all other means combined. But, 
 as books are of very various charac- 
 ter, some good, some indifferent, and 
 some of a positively pernicious ten- 
 dency, it is plainly a matter of great 
 importance, to make a wise selection 
 of them, and to read them with due 
 caution. Especially is this true in re- 
 spect to those to whom the active du-
 
 196 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 ties of life leave but little leisure for read- 
 ing, and to all in the spring season of 
 life, while the mental and moral hab- 
 its are yet in a process of formation. 
 A person may be ruined by reading 
 a single volume. The authors, with 
 whom you are most familiar, can hard- 
 ly fail to impress on your minds, their 
 own image and superscription. Your 
 habits of thinking, your sentiments, 
 your social and moral feelings, your 
 whole character will receive their shape 
 and colouring, very much from the 
 books you read. If these are wisely 
 selected and properly studied, they 
 will enlighten your minds, improve 
 your hearts, and establish your charac- 
 ter on the firm basis of virtue and 
 piety ; if otherwise, they will enfee- 
 h\e your intellect, corrupt your princi- 
 ples, and destroy your happiness. It 
 is a maxim, then, ever to be borne in 
 mind, Take heed what ye read. 
 
 To acquire useful information ; to im- 
 prove the mind in knowledge, and the
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 197 
 
 heart in goodness ; to become qualifi- 
 ed to perform with honor and useful- 
 ness the duties of hfe, and prepared 
 for an happy immortality beyond the 
 grave, — these are the great objects 
 which ought ever to be kept in view 
 in reading. And all books are to be 
 accounted good or bad, in their effects, 
 just as they tend to promote or hinder 
 the attainment of these objects. 
 
 Taking this as the criterion, by 
 which to regulate your choice of books, 
 you wi'l, I think, be led to give an 
 important place to historical reading, 
 especially to that which belongs to our 
 own country. History is the mirror of 
 the world. In it, we behold the origin 
 and progress of society, the rise and 
 fall of empires ; we become acquaint- 
 ed with the institutions, laws, manners, 
 and customs of different nations, trace 
 the course, and witness the progress of 
 that silent but mighty current that is 
 continually bearing men and all their 
 works into the gulf of oblivion, and
 
 198 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 see, as in a moving picture, the gene- 
 rations of our race, as tliey have risen 
 into being, acted their part on the 
 stage of hfe, and passed in quick suc- 
 cession with the years beyond the 
 flood. Such scenes are replete with 
 the most interesting and profitable les- 
 sons. Especially are they so, when 
 they relate to the history of our own 
 country. And with the history of 
 our own country every American citi- 
 zen ought to be familiar. 
 
 In addition to a knowledge of our 
 own history, some acquaintance with 
 the government and laws of the society 
 in which we live would seem an al- 
 most indispensable qualification of a 
 good citizen. 
 
 Nearly related to history, and not 
 less important, is biography. This is 
 a kind of reading most happily adap- 
 ted to minds of every capacity and de- 
 gree of improvement. While it pos- 
 sesses a charm that can hardly fail to 
 interest the least instructed, it fur-
 
 I' THE YOUNG MAN. 199 
 
 ; 
 
 I nishes lessons by which the wisest and 
 best may be profited. It makes you 
 acquainted with the fairest and most 
 excellent specimens of human charac- 
 ter. It introduces you into the society 
 of the great and the learned, the wise 
 and the good ; you mingle and associate 
 with them in all their walks and ways ; 
 you hear them converse ; you see them 
 act ; and mark the steps by which they 
 attained their excellence.and rose to their 
 elevation in honor and influence. The 
 etfect of this cannot be otherwise than 
 eminently happy. While conversant 
 with such characters, a process of as- 
 similation will be going on, in your own 
 minds. You will feel within you an 
 influence, raising you above whatever 
 is base and polluting, and inspiring in 
 you the love of whatever is noble and 
 excellent. 
 
 The reader, while sitting by his 
 own fireside, may, by reading, be- 
 come a traveller in foreign lands, and 
 participate in much of the enjoyment
 
 209 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 of the tourist, witliont experiencing any 
 of his difficulties and dangers. He 
 may thus obtain an acquaintance with 
 the condition, manners, and customs of 
 different nations, and his mind become 
 enlarged by contemplating the wide di- 
 versities of law\5!, of morals, of religion, 
 and of literature. He is also enabled 
 to compare the numerous privileges 
 and advantages, which he enjoys, wnth 
 those possessed by other nations — and 
 be led the more sensibly to appreciate 
 the value of our ow\n system of gov- 
 ernment, and the importance of striv- 
 ing to purify and perpetuate it. 
 
 All standard works, pertainmg to or 
 connected with your destined pursuits 
 in life, should engage a place in your 
 studies. 
 
 Works, that illustrate the natural 
 sciences, and show their application 
 to the practical arts of life, such as Buf- 
 fon's Natural History, Goldsmith's 
 Animated Nature, Good's Book of Na- 
 ture, Treatises on Botany and Chem-
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 201 
 
 istry. and publications on experimental 
 philosophy, can be read with much 
 profit and amusement. * Combe on the 
 Constitution of INIan is one of the most 
 valuable publications that have issued 
 from the press for many years. I 
 would most earnestly recommend its 
 perusal to all whose eye meets these 
 lines — it will richly repay them. 
 
 Not less valuable are those writers 
 that make us acquainted w^ith our own 
 minds and hearts ; that analyze and 
 lay open the secret springs of action ; 
 unfold the principles of political and 
 moral science and illustrate the duties 
 which we owe to our fellow men, to 
 society, and to God. 
 
 Of poetry, there are comparatively 
 but few entire works, that can be re- 
 commended to the young. Pope has 
 many beauties, intermingled with much 
 that is decidedly of an immoral tenden- 
 cy ; and the same may be said of 
 Burns, Byron, and Moore. But there 
 

 
 202 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 can be no hesitancy in recommending 
 Milton, Cowper, Young — making due 
 allowance for their religious peculiari- 
 ties — Scott, Wordsworth, Southey, 
 Coleridge, Campbell, Beattie, Thom- 
 son, Bryant, Mrs. Hemans, and Mrs. 
 Sigourney. 
 
 But the book that relates to your 
 most important interests ought to have 
 the first place assigned to it, in your 
 course of reading. The Bible, " the 
 eldest surviving offspring of the human 
 intellect," the chosen companion and 
 friend of patriarchs, prophets, apostles, 
 and of all the wisest and best men that 
 have ever lived ; — this book, that re- 
 veals to us the character and will of 
 our great Creator and final Judge, — 
 that opens to our view the invisible 
 world, and shows us the final destiny of 
 our race ; — this book, which has con- 
 ducted to heaven all who have enter- 
 ed that happy world, and must con- 
 duct us thither, if we ever attain to its 
 blessedness — this book ought surely to
 
 tHE YOtJNG MAN. 203 
 
 be made the guide of our youth and the 
 companion of our age, and to be held 
 by us in the highest place of honor and 
 respect. Considered merely as a hu^ 
 man composition, it is unquestionably 
 the most interesting book on earth. 
 One of the greatest and best of men, I 
 refer to Sir William Jones, a judge of 
 the supreme court of judicature in 
 Bengal, has said of the Bible, — " I 
 have carefully and regularly perused 
 the Scriptures, and am of opinion that 
 this volume, independent of its divine 
 origin, contains more sublimity, purer 
 morality, more important history, and 
 finer strains of eloquence, than can be 
 collected from all other books, in what- 
 ever language they may have been 
 written." Embrace this volume then 
 to your bosom. Let it be a lamp to 
 your feet and a hght to your path. 
 With every morning dawn and even- 
 ing shade, repair to this book for in- 
 struction and council, and the happy 
 effects of it upon your mind and heart
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 upon your character and life, upon 
 your present and eternal happiness, 
 you will gratefully acknowledge in the 
 eternal world. 
 
 Having made these remarks to assist 
 you in a proper choice of books, I will 
 suggest a few rules in regard to the 
 best manner of reading them. 
 
 In the first place, then, read wnth dis- 
 crimination. The world is full of 
 books ; no small portion of which are 
 either worthless, or decidedly hurtful in 
 their tendency. And, as no man has 
 time to read everything, he ought to 
 make a selection of the ablest and best 
 writers on the subjects which he wishes 
 to investigate, and dismiss wholly from 
 his attention the entire crowd of unw^or- 
 thy and useless ones. 
 
 Read with attention. Never take 
 up a book merely for amusement, or for 
 the sake of whiling away time. Time 
 thus spent is worse than lost. It tends 
 to form a habit of desultory, indolent 
 thought, and to incapacitate the mind
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 205 
 
 for confining its attention to clo?e and 
 accurate investigation. And yet there 
 is no habit more liable to grow upon 
 the young reader than, while the eye 
 is skimming over the page, to allow the 
 mind to be wandering away, absorbed 
 in some thought wholly disconnected 
 with llie subject before him. This 
 habit w^eakens the intellect, distracts 
 the mind, and fills it w^ith confusion 
 and anarchy — and it should, therefore, 
 be strongly guarded against. The at- 
 tention and the thoughts should be 
 brought under the strict command of 
 the will. If they fly oflf in pursuit of 
 some wild vagary, they should be in- 
 stantly called back, and all their pow- 
 ers concentrated on the page which you 
 are perusing. Then you hold commu- 
 nion with the author, and are benefit- 
 ed : but, without this attention, the 
 book may as well be closed. 
 
 Especially is it important, as you 
 proceed, often to pause and reflect upon 
 what you have read. Recal the train of
 
 206 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 thought, examine the argument, inquire 
 into the object and aim of your au- 
 thor ; whether his reasonings are con- 
 clusive, his sentiments just, his illustra- 
 tions pertinent, and his spirit good. To 
 read in this manner is indeed labori- 
 ous ; and he, who pursues it, will be 
 able to read but few volumes, in com- 
 parison with him, who skims over every 
 l30ok that is thrown in his way. But 
 the amount of knowledge and vigor of 
 mind, acquired in (his way, are an 
 abundant compensation for any de- 
 ficiency in the number of authors 
 read. 
 
 Read for improvement, and not for 
 show. Recollect that the great object 
 of reading is not to he able to tell what 
 others have thought and said ; but to 
 improve your minds in useful knowl- 
 edge, establish your hearts in virtue, 
 and prepare yourself for a right per- 
 formance of the duties of life. These 
 are the great objects we should have 
 in view in all our endeavors to acquire
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 207 
 
 knowledge, whetlier by books or other 
 means of improvement. 
 
 Alexander the Great had so much 
 value and esteem for knowledge and 
 lea.rning that he used to say he was 
 more obliged to Aristotle, his tutor, for 
 his learning, than to Philip, his father, 
 for his life ; seeing the one was mo- 
 mentary, and the other permanent, and 
 never to be blotted out bv oblivion. 
 
 HOW TO ACQUIRE A LIBRARY. 
 
 " Why, Frank Wilson ! How — where 
 on earth did you get all these books ! 
 Here ! what ? the Knickerbocker too ! 
 and the North American ! Now Frank, 
 where did you get the money to buy all 
 these ? Why, I have ten dollars more 
 a year than you ; yet I have to send 
 down to father for money, almost evevy 
 month- You take the Knickerbocker
 
 208 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 indeed ! Why, there are none but 
 'Squire Waters and Doctor Marvin^ 
 in the whole town, who think them- 
 selves able to have such a costly work, 
 which is only meant for a few rich 
 people to read. Pretty well, eh ? for 
 a poor apprentice to a soap-boiler I 
 Where did you get that book-ease, and 
 all those books that you have got stuck 
 up there ? Let's see, Plutarch?s 
 Lives ! AVho's he 1 what's that a- 
 bout ? Rolliws Ancient History ! why 
 didn't he write it all in one small book, 
 as well as to have a dozen about it 1 
 Gibbon's Rome ! there's no such place 
 in the United States. Why, my dear 
 fellow, what a long hst of outlandish 
 names you've got here ! Let me see 
 — Milton, Shakspeare, Young, Pope, 
 Dryden, Cowper, Bacon, Locke, Gold- 
 smith, and all the other Smiths in cre- 
 ation, as well as those in America \ 
 Now, come : I will light my Havana, 
 and sit dow^n here, and give you a 
 chance to explain how you, an appren-
 
 THE YOU-NG MAN. 209 
 
 tice, with only forty dollars a year, con- 
 trive to scrape together a library half 
 as large as Parson Dayton's." 
 
 Francis Wilson did not interrupt this 
 interrogatory and exclamatory medley 
 of words from his comrade, by an ex- 
 planation, until he had exhausted all 
 his incoherent inquiries. Sitting down 
 in the proliered chair, and lighting his 
 long nine, Edward Saunders placed 
 his feet upon his friend's clean desk, 
 and seemed really to be waiting tor a 
 detailed account of the modus operan- 
 di, by which an apprentice could ac- 
 quire honestly such a collection of val- 
 uable books. Nor did Francis hesi- 
 tate to gratify his curiosity. Both of 
 the young men were in the middle of 
 their apprenticeship ; and the most 
 cordial intimacy had subsisted between 
 them from their youth. Edward was 
 deficient in nothing so much as in that 
 economy so necessary for an appren- 
 tice in expending his small annuity : 
 and Francis hit upon a very successful
 
 210 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 method of administering to his young 
 friend a salutary lesson upon this sub- 
 ject, while he explained how even an 
 apprentice could acquire a taste and 
 the means for the cultivation of his 
 intellect. 
 
 " Edward," said he, taking up his 
 pencil, " I will explain to you in fig- 
 ures, what seems to have excited your 
 wonder, if you will permit me, by the 
 way, to ask you a few questions in order 
 to solve the problem, I see you are very 
 fond of smoking ; how many cigars do 
 you buy a week ?" 
 
 " O, none of any account," replied 
 Edward, anticipating some unpleasant 
 strictures upon his favorite practice ; — 
 " after working all day, it is really a 
 comfort to smoke one genuine Ha- 
 vana : it does not amount to anything ; 
 I only smoke six in the course of the 
 whole week." 
 
 " Six Havanas a week," repeated 
 Francis, putting it down upon paper, 
 with as much formahty as if he was
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 211 
 
 registering the data of a problem ; 
 " six a week, at two cents a piece, a- 
 mount to the very trifling sum of six 
 dollars and twenty-four cents per an- 
 num. I suppose you spend a trifle at 
 the fruit shops," continued Francis. 
 
 " Nothing worth mentioning," re- 
 plied Edward, rather startled at the 
 aggregate of such little items ; " all 
 that I buy — apples, nuts, raisins, figs, 
 oranges, &c. do not amount to nine- 
 pence a week : why, that is not half as 
 much as Tom Williams, the goldsmith's 
 apprentice, spends for juleps in half that 
 time ; and besides, Francis, you know 
 I never taste a drop of any kind of liquor 
 — not even wine. You certainly can't 
 think I lack economy. Frank ?" 
 
 " Ninepence a week for nuts, raisins, 
 oranges, and figs," repeated Francis, 
 in a low serious tone, pronouncing the 
 items, one by one as he wrote them 
 down, with all the precision and grav- 
 ity of a clerk in a country store : — 
 " Ninepence a week amount to six dol-
 
 212 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 lars and fifty cents per annum ; which, 
 added to six dollars and twenty-four 
 cents spent for cigars, make the trifling 
 sum of twelve dollars and seventy-four 
 cents for one year. Now, Edward, 
 see what I have obtained for just this 
 sum. Here," said he, taking down sev- 
 eral neatly bound volumes of the North 
 American Review, and a handful of 
 those of the Knickerbocker — " I have 
 bought all these, for a less sum than 
 you have paid for cigars, nuts, &c. du- 
 ring the last year. And as for these 
 other books, which you see here in my 
 case, I will tell you how I have ob- 
 tained them, and how any other ap- 
 prentice can do the same, with only 
 thirty-six dollars a year too. You 
 know our masters are very industri- 
 ous and steady men ; and are atten- 
 tive to their business, and like to see 
 their workmen so. They prefer also, 
 to see them with a book in their hands, 
 w^hen they have done their work, 
 rather than to be lounging about at
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 213 
 
 the taverns or in vicious company. 
 So when my master saw that I liked 
 to read every chance I could get, and 
 spend all the money I could spare for 
 books, he offered to give me ninepence 
 an hour for all the time that I would 
 work from twelve o'clock till one. p.m. 
 And that is the way, Edward, that I 
 have bought all these books, which 
 you thought I had borrowed, begged, 
 or stolen. I work every noon-time a 
 half an hour, and earn enough every 
 fortnight to buy one of these books- 
 Milton's Paradise Lost, for instance. 
 To be sure, they are not bound in 
 calf, nor are they gilt-edged ; but they 
 contain the same matter as if they 
 were, and that is enough for me." 
 
 When Edward Saunders had listen- 
 ed to this very interesting and simple 
 explanation of his uncle's apprentice, 
 and had passed his eye over all the fine 
 books in his little library, he arose sud- 
 denly at the very last words of Fran- 
 cis, and, opening his little chamber
 
 214 THE tOtJNG MAN. 
 
 window, took out of his hat the half- 
 dozen cigars which were to constitute 
 his week's stock of comfort, and, with- 
 out saying a word, tossed them into 
 the garden. A new fire of animation 
 lit up his eye, as he darted out of the 
 room, turning only at the door to say, 
 " ril try it, Frank:' 
 
 Edward Saunders, Esq. and the 
 Hon. Francis Wilson, never forgot in 
 their intimate intercourse in after life, 
 their mutual computation of the cost of 
 nuts and cigars, in the garret of the 
 latter. 
 
 ENGLISH GRAMMAR. 
 
 The following remarks on the study of 
 English Grammar are from Cobbett's 
 Advice to Young Men ; a book which 
 presents much truth, though in an ori- 
 ginal and homely garb, and which is
 
 THE YOtJNG MAN. 215 
 
 well worthy the perusal of the class for 
 whom it was designed. 
 
 Without understanding the Gram- 
 mar of yoi^ own language, you can 
 nev^er hope to become fit for any thing 
 beyond trade or agriculture. Without 
 this, it is impossible for you to write 
 correctly, and it is by mere accident, if 
 you speak correctly ; and bear in mind 
 that all well informed persons judge of 
 a man's mind (until they have other 
 means of judging) by his writing or 
 speaking. The labor necessary to ac- 
 quire this knowledge indeed is not tri- 
 fling ; grammar is not, like arithmetic. 
 a science consisting of several distmct 
 departments, some of which may be 
 dispensed with : it is a whole, and the 
 whole must be learned or no part is 
 learned. The subject is abstruse ; it 
 demands much reflection and much pa- 
 tience ; but, when once the task is per- 
 formed, it is performed for life, and, 
 in every day of that life, it will be found 
 to be a source of pleasure or of profit, or
 
 216 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 of both together. And what is the la- 
 bor ? It consists of no bodily exertion ; 
 it exposes the student to no cold, no 
 hunger, no suffering of any sort. The 
 study need subtract from The hours of 
 no business, nor indeed from the hours 
 of necessary exercise : the hours usual- 
 ly spent in the tea and coffee shops, and 
 in the mere gossip which accompany 
 them, the wasted hours of only one year^ 
 employed in the study of grammar, 
 would make you a correct speaker and 
 writer for the rest of your life. You 
 want no school, no room to study in, no 
 expenses, and no troublesome circum- 
 stances of any sort. I learned gram- 
 mar when I was a private soldier, on 
 pay of sixpence a day. The edge of 
 my berth, or that of the guard-bed, was 
 my seat to study in ; my knapsack was 
 my book-case ; a bit of board lying on 
 my lap was my writing-table, and the 
 task did not demand any thing like a 
 year of my life. I had no money to 
 purchase candle or oil : in winter time,
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 217 
 
 it was rarely that I could get any even- 
 ing light, but that oHhe Jire. and only 
 my turn even of that. And if I, under 
 such circumstances, without parent or 
 friend to encourage me, accomplished 
 this undertaking, what excuse can 
 there be for any youth, however poor, 
 however pressed with business, or how- 
 ever circumstanced as to room or other 
 conveniences. To buy a pen, or a 
 sheet of paper, I was compelled to 
 forego some portion of food, though in 
 a state of half starvation. I had no 
 moment of time that I could call my 
 own ; and I had to read, and to write, 
 amidst the talking, laughing, singing, 
 whistling, and brawling, of at least 
 half a score of the most thoughtless of 
 men, and that too in their hours of t>ee- 
 dom from all control. Think not light- 
 ly of the farthing that I had to give, 
 now and ^'^-"^•~ '^
 
 218 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN. 
 
 health and great exercise. The whole 
 of the money, not expended for us at 
 market, was two-pence a week for each 
 man. 
 
 INFLUENCE OF RELIGION. 
 
 Of all the means of forming a good 
 character, the most efficient is a deep 
 and practical sense of responsibility to 
 God. He who has an abiding impres- 
 sion on his mind of the ever-present 
 and immutable God, and who contem- 
 plates with due affection and reverence 
 his relations to Him and eternity, has 
 acting on his character an influence of 
 constant and mighty energy, — preser- 
 ving him from all that is low and de- 
 + ' 1 j-i ; "V "^^'■^ T Mrvvtn all that 
 task did not demand any thing" jikc « 
 year of my life. I had no money to 
 purchase candle or oil : in winter time.
 
 ec 
 
 earth, 
 youth
 
 liCXo 
 
 sion on his mind of the v 
 and immutable God, and who c, 
 plates with due affection and reverence 
 his relations to Him and eternity, has 
 acting on his character an influence of 
 constant and mighty energy, — preser- 
 ving him from all that is low and de- 
 /• . ^ . -~ '-V *^^-- ^^ Hirrifo all that 
 task did not demand any thing^riKc «>, 
 year of my life. I had no money to 
 purchase candle or oil : in winter time.
 
 B 000 002 414 1