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 Issued under the auspices of the Aberdeen University 
 Students' Representative Council 
 
 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY
 
 / 
 
 Neil N. Maclean.
 
 Life at a 
 Northern University 
 
 BY 
 
 NEIL N. MACLEAN, M.A. 
 
 EDITED, WITH BIOGRAPHICAL MEMOIR, BY 
 
 W. KEITH LEASK, M.A. 
 
 Quatercentenary Edition 
 
 ABERDEEN 
 
 MCMVI
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 Neil N. Maclean Frontispiece 
 
 Professor John Fyfe Facing page xxiv 
 
 King's College, Showing the Piazza 
 
 Professor Frederick Fuller - 
 
 Professor David Thomson 
 
 The Debating Room (Mathematical Class- 
 room) 
 
 Professor George Ferguson - 
 
 College Bounds 
 
 King's College Before i860 
 
 (From a Painting by Sam Bough, A.R.S.A.) 
 
 King's College Crown .... 
 
 25 
 39 
 39 
 
 83 
 
 96 
 
 172 
 
 268 
 
 336
 
 OLD ABERDEEN 
 
 I stood on the bridge at midnight 
 As the clocks were striking the hour. 
 
 — Longfellow. 
 
 Unchanged, yet changing ! Fifty years have fled 
 
 And left but little of the scene he drew 
 When, in the long past days that now are sped. 
 
 In silent, drowsy streets the green grass grew. 
 Here still the river wanders to the view. 
 
 The ear yet catches echoes that are lent 
 Of breaking surf upon the bar, and new 
 
 With old familiar memories are blent. 
 As now, 'twixt twelve and one, the north wind tears the bent. 
 
 He trod the streets of strangers : but to me 
 
 " Scenes that are brightest " then abide so still ; 
 Change if on every side around I see, 
 
 To-night, in dreaming fancy, I can fill 
 The scene again, and recreate at will 
 
 That older day the heart far lovelier feels. 
 Of lowing kine in lanes, of flowers, until 
 
 I catch — ere came trams, motors, cycles, wheels — 
 Your lilacs all in bloom and far-flung Marechal Niels. 
 
 W. K. L.
 
 EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 Quo fit ut omnis 
 Votiva pateat veluti descripta tabella 
 Vita. 
 
 — Horace : Sat. II., i., 32-4. 
 
 It was many and many a year ago 
 In a kingdom by the sea. 
 
 —Poe. 
 
 During the last week of October in 1853, when the 
 days were visibly shortening and the leaves in the 
 Chanonry were falling with a browner shade, the 
 following notice from the Aberdeen papers would lie 
 on the tables of the teachers all along the North, 
 conveying the important information about the 
 number of vacant bursaries to be competed for at 
 the ensuing Competition — 
 
 The Annual Competition for Bursaries will be held in 
 King's College, as usual, on the last Monday of October, at 
 Nine o'clock, a.m. Of the Twenty Bursaries to be disposed of 
 on this occasion, there will be one of the annual value of 
 £30, one of £20, one of £18, one of £17, one of £16, two 
 of £15, two of £14, two of £13, three of £12, and six of inferior 
 value. 
 
 Candidates for these Bursaries are required to bring with 
 them Certificates of their age, signed by the Ministers and 
 Session-Clerks of their respective Parishes, as four of the 
 above Bursaries (viz., two upon the foundation of the late Dr. 
 Hutton, of Dcptford, and one upon the foundation of the late 
 Dr. Simpson, of Worcester) can only be given to Young Men,
 
 viii EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 natives of the British Empire, who have attained fourteen 
 years of age. 
 
 Candidates for the Macpherson Bursary will lodge their 
 testimonials — including one from a Gaelic Minister as to their 
 knowledge of the Gaelic Language — with the Secretary, on or 
 before the last Monday of October, and be present, on that and 
 the following days, at the Public Competition, when the 
 Bursary will be assigned to the most distinguished Competitor. 
 
 Presentation Bursars entering the Greek Class will be 
 examined on Thursday, the 3rd of November, at Ten a.m. 
 
 All Candidates for Bursaries and all presented Bursars 
 will, in addition to the usual examination in Latin, be required 
 to Translate and Analyze a Passage in Greek, selected from 
 the First Book of Xenophon's Anabasis. 
 
 All Candidates for the Degree of A.M. entering the 3rd 
 and 4th Classes, and all actual Bursars, will be examined on 
 Thursday, 3rd November, and following days, on the Greek 
 and Latin subjects prescribed at the end of last Session ; and all 
 the Bursars entering the 3rd and 4th Classes will be examined 
 on the same days, on the subjects taught during the last 
 Session, Greek and Latin excepted. 
 
 At the close of the Session, there will be given Two 
 Simpson Prizes of £60 each— one to the best Mathematical 
 Scholar, the other to the best Greek Scholar, they being 
 regular Students in the Fourth Class. 
 
 The Lectures on the History and Principles of the Civil 
 Law, as a Branch of General Education, will be commenced 
 on Saturday, the 12th of November, at Half-past Ten o'clock, 
 A.M. Magistrands will be allowed to attend gratis. 
 
 DAVID THOMSON, Secretary. 
 
 King's College, Aberdeen, 
 Sept. 12, 1853. 
 
 As the last Monday in October drew near — from 
 time immemorial the day of the Bursary Competition 
 at King's College — a little more stir than usual 
 would be visible in the streets of the ancient burgh. 
 The beating of carpets in back gardens, and a 
 general air of alacrity in the female population, 
 betokened to the initiated that the long summer 
 torpor had come to an end, and that the somewhat
 
 THE CRIMEAN WAR ix 
 
 subdued life of evening small talk and cards among 
 the landladies and old maids — in whom, I under- 
 stand, Old Aberdeen still proudly maintains an 
 unbroken record — was giving place to the more 
 arduous duties of a new session. The few shops in 
 Don Street, High Street, and College Bounds, by 
 the greater attention to the dressing of the windows, 
 indicated that supplies were being taken in, while 
 the pipeclay on the door-steps and the sand in the 
 entries and on the stair-heads all in turn bore 
 witness to the advent of new and old faces to the 
 silent streets ; for the time was now at hand when, 
 as Principal Sir William Geddes used to say, the 
 tribes were setting their faces to go up to Shiloh to 
 inaugurate another Northern Olympiad. The few 
 politicians about the door of the post-office would 
 have heard confused rumours about the trouble in 
 store for the Aberdeen Cabinet, for, on the 1st of 
 November, the Czar Nicholas declared war on 
 Turkey, and the question was eagerly debated 
 whether hostilities would extend to our shores, 
 or if Lord Palmerston would remain firm in his 
 attitude. 
 
 But in the provinces the one topic of absorbing 
 interest was, with teachers and parents, the Bursary 
 Competition, and so, in Peterhead, the scene of our 
 story opens with the conversation between the parish 
 schoolmaster and his more promising scholars, who 
 were looking forward with common anxiety to that 
 all-important ordeal. 
 
 The author himself, in his book, has dwelt so 
 fully on the Competition, and illustrated in such 
 loving detail its history and working in the North of 
 Scotland, that little here can be added, and that little 
 is, I fear, perfectly superfluous to the initiated. In 
 the Notes will be found some archaeological and
 
 X EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 historical illustrations of the system, but it may be 
 well to remind the general reader that, until very 
 recent days, nothing parallel to what the Aberdonian 
 understands by the idea of a Bursary Competition 
 has existed at the other three seats. Any biography 
 of an academic worthy in the North cannot long 
 avoid dwelling on the point, and its influence on the 
 subsequent career of its subject, but the reader will 
 search in vain the lives of distinguished graduates 
 elsewhere for this feature. We are all fully 
 acquainted with the school and university days of 
 such men as Leyden, Carlyle, Livingstone, and 
 Principal Cairns — to select but a few out of the 
 large number that will readily occur to the memory 
 of everyone — and nothing in the faintest degree is 
 shown to indicate that an educational aid, such as 
 for centuries had been familiar to every Aberdonian, 
 lay within the reach of such men. Leyden, indeed, 
 in the "Scenes of Infancy", where he describes 
 leaving " my father's old abode " for Edinburgh, in a 
 passage quite analogous to that of our author's 
 quitting Peterhead for Aberdeen, never thinks of 
 such a thing ; and even Carlyle, in his legacy of 
 bursaries to Edinburgh, dwells on it in a way that 
 seems to indicate his own unfamiliaritj^ with a pro- 
 cedure that with us would have been settled at once, 
 by the testator's simply leaving it to be added to 
 the general bursary fund of the University. Scott 
 has occasion to deal with the four Universities 
 through well-known characters in his novels. He has 
 described, in " Guy Mannering ", the Glasgow days 
 of Dominie Sampson, and has dwelt with exquisite 
 local colour on Nanty Ewart, in " Redgauntlet ", "at 
 the head of the highest stair in the Covenant Close" 
 of Edinburgh. Twice he deals with St. Andrews, 
 through the course of Reuben Butler in the " Heart
 
 THE ABERDEEN AREA xi 
 
 of Midlothian ", and of Triptolemus Yellowley in 
 " The Pirate ", In none of them did it occur to 
 Scott to mention the point, but when he introduces 
 his great figure of Dugald Dalgetty the novehst's 
 eye for local colour at once seizes on the familiar 
 word. C) 
 
 Some slight aids to learning doubtless had long 
 existed at the other seats, though they were more 
 analogous to what the Aberdonian understands by 
 presentation bursaries, but nothing parallel to the 
 Bursary Competition was in operation, so that when 
 our author speaks of the last Mondaj' in October as 
 having been looked forward to from time immemorial 
 as an important date in the year, he is no less 
 historically correct than accurate in seizing a 
 situation unfamiliar to the rest of Scotland. The 
 greater area from which Aberdeen draws her 
 recruits also contributed to the eagerness with which 
 the event was annually expected. From the Orkneys 
 to Aberdeen, from the town itself to a district 
 stretching far southward, every parent and every 
 teacher had become acquainted with the procedure. 
 The Scots University, affording a very inexpensive 
 education, is never a luxury. It is a positive 
 necessity of life. It is the quickest way by which 
 a youth may hope to ' get on ' and occupy a better 
 position in the world than his father did before him. 
 Many a boy of the same social status, if born in 
 Lancashire, would undoubtedly graduate in a cotton 
 factory; in Wales he might go down a mine; and in 
 a hundred towns he would enter some branch of the 
 Civil Service. In Scotland a university lies within 
 reach, and to that end his whole young life is bended. 
 
 (') "The former qualit\' [of eating very fast] he had acquired 
 while he filled a place at the bursar's table at the Mareschal College 
 of Aberdeen." — " Legend of Montrose ", ch. v.
 
 xii EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 The question, indeed, is mainly a financial one after 
 ail. It is necessary to get a bursary." C) 
 
 From its foundation Aberdeen has been rooted in 
 Latin. The first Principal of King's College, Hector 
 Boece, had written Latin with great ease and grace, 
 and his note as a humanist of the Renaissance is 
 seen clearly in his command of a correct prose style. 
 The " Musa Latina Aberdonensis" (") shows that 
 Latin as a literary medium had long been familiar to 
 scholars, so that it is but natural that out of the 
 four great Scottish Latinists commemorated in 
 the window of King's College — Buchanan, Arthur 
 Johnston, Ruddiman, and Melvin — three should 
 belong to us. Something, too, there may be in the 
 clear-cut lines of the tongue that suits the northern 
 type of mind, eminently hard and practical, and it is 
 this Latin touch and vein that Scott has seen to be 
 a characteristic of his inimitable creation. Such 
 a note would be quite inaccurately applied to 
 St. Andrews or to Edinburgh, while its ascription to 
 Glasgow would be perfectly meaningless, through the 
 depressing teaching in the Western Isles and else- 
 where that for so long has coloured, and yet preju- 
 dicially affects, the standard of that University. 
 Inspectors of Schools transferred from the northern 
 counties to the South lament the change of educa- 
 tional atmosphere as comparable onlj' to an exchange 
 of light for darkness. The teachers, all along the 
 line, had been trained in this excellent medium, so 
 that the nexus of direct communication between 
 the parish schools remained unbroken. Somewhat 
 addicted they may have been to the methods of 
 
 (^) "Aurora Borealis Academica: Aberdeen University Apprecia- 
 tions, 1860-1S89." Aberdeen, 1S99. P. 382. 
 
 (2) Vol. I., 1892 ; Vol. II., 1895. Edited by Sir W. D. Geddes 
 for the New Spalding Club.
 
 MELVIN'S VERSIONS xiii 
 
 Orbilius and to the use of snufF — and all Melvin's 
 men modelled themselves so carefully on that great 
 teacher as to take to snuff as an essential part of 
 their calling — but a very creditable knowledge of 
 Latin prevailed over the entire area from which 
 students were drawn. I can recall with pleasure 
 how at the Grammar School in my time the dictation 
 of an old version by Melvin — full of that scholar's 
 recondite reading about Denys Lambin, Forcellini 
 the lexicographer, and the early days of George 
 Buchanan and the struggles of his mother, Agnes 
 Heriot — would bring out among the boys old copies 
 in books belonging to their former masters. I can 
 see yet the faded and yellow pages, often redolent 
 of peat reek, showing that in remote parishes and in 
 ' the lone shelling of the misty island ' the writers, 
 who long ago had formed their boyish style of pen- 
 manship on the beautiful model of Melvin, itself and 
 that of Professor Patrick Forbes based in turn on 
 poet Beattie's, C) still retained the tincture of their 
 early Latin training. Here am I, after one hundred 
 and fifty years, still reproducing the handwriting of 
 the author of " The Minstrel ". Many of the old 
 parochial teachers and others, (") many of them now 
 forgotten luitc quia carent sacro, all faithful builders 
 of the edifice and system of to-day, deserve to be 
 held in kindly remembrance, and one of them is 
 drawn for us by the author in his book. 
 
 (i)See Principal Sir William Geddes in "Alma Mater" for 
 Jan. lo, igoo, p. 96. 
 
 (-) " I would associate with his memory [Dr. Anderson, of the 
 Aberdeen Gymnasium] that of many another good dominie whom you, 
 readers of these pages, will remember in your hearts, when I conse- 
 crate to it the loving lament of the humble Eum^us over his lost 
 lord — ' Never shall I find so kind a master ... he loved me 
 greatly and had care for me in his heart.' —' Odyssey', xiv., 138-147."' 
 •'Meminisse Juvat." By Alexander Shewan. 1905. P. 72.
 
 xiv EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 A few words, then, fall here to be added on 
 master and pupil. The former was James Lyall, an 
 alumnus of Marischal College, the parish teacher of 
 Peterhead, who held office for thirty-four years, 
 and established for himself an excellent record, 
 dying suddenly of apoplexy on November 16, 
 1875, and resting, as his tombstone at Peterhead 
 says, "from the days of well-sustained labour". He 
 produced an able succession of scholars, and took 
 himself seriously as a Latinist, turning the Inspector 
 under the Dick Bequest out of the school after a 
 debate on the functions of si and qui with the sub- 
 junctive, and preferring to miss the grant from 
 that source rather than to recognise what he 
 considered official ignorance. His pupil, Neil 
 Nathaniel Maclean, was a native of Peterhead, 
 and entered, as he has described it for us, the 
 Bajan session in 1853. By engaging in teaching, 
 to assist him during his course, he prolonged his 
 curriculum in Arts, and graduated M.A. on April 7, 
 1859. After acting as a classical master in 
 a school at Greenock, he erected buildings in 
 Hartlepool for a high-class institution, which he 
 kept for five or six years. He had purchased a 
 Young Ladies' Institute and Boarding Establish- 
 ment at Devon Bank, near Glasgow, to which he 
 was about to transfer himself, when he died suddenly 
 at West Hartlepool, on May 17, 1873, aged 38 years. 
 He had been a contributor to "Chambers's Journal" 
 and other magazines, and written a book that 
 received an appreciative notice from Carlyle. {') 
 He had bestowed great care on the preparation of 
 his "Life at a Northern University", "many anxious 
 
 (1) "Memoirs of Marshal Keith, with a Sketch of the Keith 
 Family." By a Peterheadian. Peterhead: David Scott. Aberdeen: 
 Robert Walker. 1869.
 
 ABERDEEN IN 1853 xv 
 
 hours were spent over it", C) and the Notes will 
 attest the perfect accuracy and veracity of it all. If 
 the outsider wishes to obtain a true knowledge of 
 the actual life at the time, it is to Maclean's book 
 that he must turn, and not to the absurd caricatures 
 in " a Babylonish dialect ", unknown to any Aber- 
 donian, which have been set forth by Dr. George 
 MacDonald. His apologists have dwelt much on his 
 Celtic glamour, but in Aberdeen no great respect 
 has ever been shown to the theological jargon and 
 spurious speech of "Alec Forbes" and "Robert 
 Falconer". Neil Maclean, by his comparatively 
 unknown book, has deserved well of King's College, 
 nor can I doubt that its reissue on this occasion will 
 serve to make known to a wider circle its sterling 
 merits and the memories he has so faithfully 
 preserved of his class-fellows and their "golden 
 prime". 
 
 The Aberdeen which he entered in 1853 was a 
 city of about 72,000 inhabitants. The railway system 
 was still in an undeveloped state in the North, so that 
 Old Aberdeen at least preserved an air of general 
 aloofness from the outside world. It had a Cor- 
 poration of its own. The Provost was Professor 
 George Ferguson ; the Town Clerk, George Grub, 
 afterwards Professor of Law ; while among the 
 merchant councillors were Professors Andrew Fyfe, 
 Hercules Scott, and David Thomson. Of the baillies 
 of the burgh in 1854 one yet survives. (") The place 
 was quite remote from the new town and preserved 
 its separate feelings, its distinct college, and a town's 
 drummer. As I fondly recall it, it cannot better be 
 described than in the words of a distinguished 
 
 (i)"Free Press", May 24, 1873, copied from notice in the 
 " Middlesborough Gazette". 
 
 (-) Dr. R. L. Poison, M.D. 1847; 2 Chanonry, 1854-1906.
 
 xvi EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 historian and alumnus of Marischal College. C) 
 How far it ts changed to-day, the graduates returning 
 this year, after long absence abroad, will decide. 
 
 If ever any man ", he writes, " should wish to 
 find himself in the last century, to be for a while in 
 the midst of the things, the people, and the manners 
 of a hundred years ago, let him go to the village of 
 Old Aberdeen. There, as he stalks tl'H'ough the quiet, 
 straggling streets, unroused by the sound of the 
 rattling car or the hum of commerce, he may see the 
 old ivy-covered houses, sticking their gavel ends into 
 the pathway — with the little pigeon-hole windows 
 prettily painted green, crow steps at the ends, and 
 moss-covered flag-stones on the roofs. There he may 
 see tall, sturdy, weather-beaten old men, with broad 
 bonnets, knee-breeches, and huge, red velveteen 
 wHistcoats reaching almost to the knees ; old women 
 with high-topped mutches, sitting on huge stones at 
 their doors, knitting the stocking ; and, perhaps, 
 some stately old lady of eighty winters, whose high- 
 heeled shoes, as they clatter on the empty pave- 
 ment, are faintly re-echoed by the tread of the 
 old footman, who slinks obsequiously behind her. 
 There he may see the grave students wandering 
 about in their red gowns, and the professors stalking 
 to their classes in their black. And, finally, the place 
 is famous for the bright eyes and rosy cheeks of its 
 young ladies, whose pianos the stranger may hear 
 gently struck, through the honeysuckle of some 
 open window, as he saunters about in some fine, 
 sultry summer evening, in the Cathedral Churchyard 
 or the College Square." 
 
 All that, of course, concerns us here is the 
 question of the double existence of King's College 
 
 (i)John Hill Burton, M.A., Mar. Coll., 1829, in "Tail's 
 Magazine " for May, 1833.
 
 THE FUSION xvii 
 
 and Marischal College, The first had been founded 
 in 1494 by Elphinstone, Bishop of Aberdeen, under 
 the authority of a Papal bull obtained at the instance 
 of James IV ; the second had been established in 
 1593 by George Keith, Earl Marischal. O They were 
 united and fused as one University by Act of Parlia- 
 ment, on and after September 15, 1860. The Univer- 
 sity takes rank among the Universities of Scotland 
 from the date of the foundation of the University and 
 King's College — 1494. Whether the foundation of 
 Marischal College was after all a misfortune, through 
 the splitting of the educational resources of the 
 North, need not be considered here. The town of 
 Aberdeen boasted that it had two Universities and 
 that the whole of England had no more. The detailed 
 history of both colleges must be studied elsewhere, 
 and of recent years the issues of the New Spalding 
 Club and the annotated " Fasti" have put before the 
 graduates a more elaborate account of the University 
 than is available for the illustration of the other 
 three Scottish seats of learning. 
 
 One hardly knows even yet how to touch upon 
 the Fusion of the colleges. There are still many 
 graduates to whom the question opens up memories 
 of a painful nature, when the strained relations 
 among the students were such as to prevent any 
 general intercourse of a friendly nature, so that 
 one feels that even at this late date he is walking 
 
 per igncs 
 Suppositos cineri doloso. 
 
 (1) " William's father, a man always venerable to me, had founded 
 Marischal College, Aberdeen, — where for a few, in these stern granite 
 Countries, the Diviner Pursuits are still possible (thank God and this 
 Keith) on frugal oatmeal." — Carlyle. For Carlyle's letter in 1850, and 
 again in 1859, over being proposed as Lord Rector of Marischal Col- 
 lege, see pp. 359 and 362 of " Rectorial Addresses delivered in the 
 Universities of Aberdeen, i835-i90o"(i902), edited by P. J. Anderson. 
 
 B
 
 xviii EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 Charles Lamb said that all his life he had been 
 trying to like Scotsmen, but had to give up the 
 attempt in despair. This represents my own feeling 
 for the younger foundation, and it would be affecta- 
 tion in me to pretend to any other attitude, born 
 within the ancient burgh itself and cradled in the 
 views — or prejudices, if you will — of the time. What- 
 ever different views may have been held on other 
 questions by women, all were then unanimous 
 in the conviction that Madeline Smith, of the 
 celebrated Angelier poisoning case, that convulsed 
 Scotland and eclipsed the gaiety and harmony of 
 families, should have been hanged; while all men 
 were equally anchored in the invincible and com- 
 placent opinion that Marischal College was a futility. 
 Then, as during the last Commission, there was a 
 lack of clear educational horizon and far-sighted 
 men, so that to many graduates of to-day it has 
 ever appeared obvious that the claims of the Arts 
 Faculty have been unjustl}' overlooked in the recent 
 extension of the Medical School. The embers of the 
 old controversy may be said to be extinct, but one 
 comes upon curious old survivals of feeling from the 
 past. I had occasion lately to read the account of a 
 meeting of King's College graduates, held in Edin- 
 burgh at the time of the Fusion, when the controversy 
 was at its height. They spoke with no uncertain 
 note, and in a rare and breezy style. McLennan, (^) 
 the well-known author and pioneer in the unfamiliar 
 
 (1) John F. McLennan, Hutton and Simpson Mathematical 
 Prizeman, M.A. 1849, LL.D. 1874. Author of "Primitive Marriage" 
 (1865), etc. "It was from McLennan that Smith first derived the 
 pregnant idea of the value of the comparative method as applied to 
 the investigation of primitive society and religion, a method which 
 he was to work out in later years with brilliant results." — Dr. J. F. 
 White, on Prof. W. R. Smith, in "Aurora Borealis", p. 191.
 
 "AND MARATHON LOOKS ON THE SEA" xix 
 
 studies of totem ism and the matriarchal theory, 
 while anxious to find some palliating circumstances 
 for Marischal College, had yet to confess that he 
 had never known a good man, in the educational 
 sense, produced there. But the Attorney-General 
 of Greece O evoked the enthusiasm of the meeting 
 by his vigorous and impassioned style, and by 
 awakening a chord familiar in many a distant 
 meeting of the Debating Society. He was, he said, 
 the oldest graduate there present, and his earthly 
 time was short ; but it was possible for some of his 
 hearers, in their travels bj'' the Ilissus or on the 
 Plains of Marathon, to see a lonely grave with the 
 inscription that there beneath lay a graduate of 
 King's College, whose boast had been that through 
 life he had been ever faithful to her best traditions, 
 and would never, at its close, consent to the step 
 that would link her fortunes to those of Marischal — 
 no, he would not add " College ". I know not if that 
 lonely grave exists, but I feel sure that the very 
 thought of it as a possibility in the landscape must 
 materially add to the feelings with which Aber- 
 donians repeat the lines of Byron on the mountains 
 that look on Marathon and the sea. 
 
 The curious reader will find below some references 
 to pamphlets (".) of that stirring time, but I shall 
 here content myself with the selection of two views. 
 All will recognise in the first extract the fine Roman 
 
 (^) Edward Masson, M.A. 1824; Secretary to Lord Dundonald, 
 High Admiral of Greece ; Professor of Greek, Belfast ; Attorney- 
 General at Athens; author of "Philhellenica" (Edinburgh, 1852), 
 etc. 
 
 (-) " Has Marischal College the Power of Conferring Degrees in 
 Divinity, Law, and Medicine?" David Thomson, 1850. "The 
 Right to Confer Degrees Vindicated." By Thomas Clark, Aberdeen, 
 1853. " Notes on the Foundation and History of Marischal College," 
 1849. By Professor William Martin.
 
 XX EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 hand of a well-known and loyal burgher of Bon- 
 Accord. C) 
 
 " Many citizens of Aberdeen felt, as Mr. Forsyth 
 felt when he wrote ' The Midnicht Meetin' ', and not 
 without reasons did they entertain his feelings. 
 They had from their own pockets raised a large 
 sum in aid of rebuilding the college — many of them 
 had been educated there, and their sons and grand- 
 sons were at that very time being educated at 
 Marischal College, well and cheaply. The new 
 buildings — the designs of a popular local architect — 
 were by many esteemed highly. To many the 
 thought was unbearable that those buildings were 
 destined to become only Medical and other class- 
 rooms for that single University with which in future 
 they were to be blessed. No longer was Aberdeen, 
 like England, to joy in the possession of two 
 Universities. The angry critics of that day failed 
 to see, in the closing of the gates of their University, 
 anything else than a process by which they were to 
 
 Lythe the Aulton brose, 
 An' mak' the Aulton parritch thicker, 
 An' gar the yill ream roun' their nose 
 Twa inch or mair abune the bicker." 
 
 But the higher claims of the future were cogently 
 set forth by Professor David Thomson of King's 
 College, following the lines of his predecessor in the 
 chair, John Fleming, Wider views than the neces- 
 sities of Broad Street fortunately prevailed. " The 
 point which caused the bitterest feeling ", writes his 
 biographer, "and the sharpest division of opinion, was 
 the question of the distribution of the Faculties, when 
 fused, between the two colleges, or rather, simply, 
 the site of the Arts classes. He contended strenu- 
 
 (1) "Selections from the Writings of William Forsyth." Aber- 
 deen, 1882. Prefatory Note by Dean of Guild Alexander Walker.
 
 THOMSON AND THE FUSION xxi 
 
 ously that, while Medicine and Law must, for obvious 
 reasons, have their home in Marischal College, Arts 
 ought to go to King's, because to place Arts also at 
 Marischal would be practically to extinguish King's — 
 an act of intolerable injustice to the older institution, 
 the owner of the larger endowments. But whatever 
 side men take on such questions as these, there are 
 certain services rendered by Professor Thomson at 
 that time which will be acknowledged by all. When 
 many convinced Fusionists wavered, and, influenced 
 by the clamour around them, would have accepted 
 half- measures. Professor Thomson performed a 
 service of the highest value when, with unflinching 
 firmness and courage he held his ground, and con- 
 tended that there should be complete fusion or none 
 at all. To have united the Faculties of Divinity, 
 Medicine, and Law, and left two rival Faculties of 
 Arts, one at King's and one at Marischal College, 
 would have been a lame and impotent conclusion 
 indeed. Moreover, from the financial point of view 
 it would have been wasteful. That such a thing was 
 prevented was due in large measure to the firm 
 attitude and powerful arguments of Professor 
 Thomson." (^) 
 
 In looking back over that distant day of the old 
 curriculum of King's College, yet to me in many 
 ways nearer than my own period in the united 
 University, I am sure that I anticipate the unani- 
 mous decision of the graduates when I say that one 
 man stands out head and shoulders above his 
 colleagues, and ranks chief in the memories of the 
 generation before and even after the Fusion. This is 
 the Sub-Principal of King's College. (") As to him, 
 
 (^) In "Aurora Borealis ", pp. 79, 80. 
 
 ('-) David Thomson, Professor of Natural Philosophy, 1845- 
 1880.
 
 xxii EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 there has been ever only one opinion. Unloved, 
 unpopular he doubtless was, and remained so to the 
 last. He never courted popularity, but his services 
 both in a business and educational capacity were 
 great. Coming with a higher degree and a wider 
 experience than had before been known, he simply 
 found it impossible to continue the standard with 
 which his colleagues had been contented. He set 
 himself deliberately to raise it. Those who saw him 
 only at the close of his day could naturally not fully 
 appreciate the work he had done, but those who know 
 his pre-eminent business qualities in the Senatus, 
 and the course of steady advance in his subject, are 
 unanimous in regarding Thomson as the true and 
 second founder of King's College. His pupils must 
 ever regret a certain coldness and caustic wit that 
 seem inseparable from their conception of the man, 
 for every anecdote and trait they recall is found 
 to be tinged with that quality. There was no doubt 
 a softer side, and the same biographer assures 
 his readers that " his kindliness, geniality, racy 
 wit, and wide accomplishments made his company 
 delightful at home and in society." A little of these 
 graces could well have been expended on the class. 
 Thomson's bust in the library but feebly recalls his 
 services. The Fusion is his best and truest memorial. 
 
 With him rises the inseparable figure of his 
 Mathematical colleague, Frederick Fuller. O To the 
 older generation the word seems almost cold and 
 strange in such a form. For them he ever must 
 remain ' Freddy ', and no missing word competition 
 among them will ever be needed to supply the fitting 
 designation. He was in the chair ere I was born, 
 and when I reflect that he has taught Lord Kelvin 
 and myself, I humbly submit that something in the 
 
 (1) Professor of Mathematics, 1851-1878 ; LL.D. 1883.
 
 THE COLLEGE STAFF xxiii 
 
 direction of the Absolute and Infinite has at last 
 been reached. He still survives, the last link with the 
 old staff of King's College, " rich in that which 
 should accompany old age, in troops of friends ", and 
 in the affectionate regard of every one of his 
 numerous pupils for one of the most successful 
 occupants of a chair in a Scottish Universitj'. 
 
 Latin is so fully dealt with by the writer of the book 
 that no more need be said on George Ferguson. (^) 
 His may have been a narrow routine, but he did his 
 work accurately and well. I quote in the Notes 
 the testimony of Cosmo Innes and Professor Barker; 
 and so I pass from " George " — a familiar name to 
 me as a child, the hero of the book as it were, and 
 a great figure with the past generation. Greek 
 had long been unfortunate. Professor " Habe " 
 Macpherson knew little, and his teaching by deputy 
 was an unfortunate and dangerous practice. His 
 immediate successor was equally incompetent, the 
 Reverend Peter Colin Campbell. He had in the 
 Disruption dislocation been elected from Canada to 
 the parish of Caputh in Perthshire, from which in 
 1854 he was translated to the Chair of Greek, 
 His best students saw his deficiencies only too clearlj^ 
 and his elevation to the Principalship in 1855 proved 
 the salvation of the subject. The Chair of Moral 
 Philosophy had, under Hercules Scott, (") tried or 
 been compelled to combine the functions of four — 
 Moral Philosophy, Logic, Christian Evidences, and, 
 at least for one period, English Literature and 
 Composition. Such a course of study could only 
 have been superficial, and during the period before 
 us, from 1854 to 1860, his lectures were read by his 
 
 (1) Last of the " Humanists" of King's College, 1847-1860. 
 
 (2) M.A., Mar. Coll., 1812 ; Professor of Moral Philosophy, 
 1821-1860.
 
 xxiv EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 substitute, John Fyfe, C) afterwards the University 
 Librarian and Professor of Moral Philosophy from 
 1876 to 1894. Chemistry was taught by Professor 
 Andrew Fyfe. The Divinity Professors, ('") Andrew 
 Scott and Robert Macpherson, are fully dealt with 
 elsewhere. 
 
 The course of study then pursued at King's 
 College was limited to Arts and Divinity. Medical 
 classes were held elsewhere, and the curriculum will 
 be found in the Notes. The general course was no 
 doubt narrow, yet it produced good results, so that 
 the pre-Fusion generation seems to have had nothing 
 to fear from the present. Over all the North 
 Melvin reigned supreme, and his beneficial influence 
 is seen fully in the novel. The outlook of the 
 graduates was limited to the pulpit and the parish 
 schools, and, through the attendance of school- 
 masters on Divinity classes, the numbers of that 
 Faculty would, towards 1860, rise to as many as a 
 hundred. There were no vacancies in the Indian 
 Civil Service, the English Universities were but 
 little known, and the Ferguson Scholarship had not 
 been founded. 
 
 As a result of this and of the closer intimacy 
 among the students, not to speak of the hostility of 
 feeling separating them from Marischal College, there 
 was generated a greater feeling of loyalty than now 
 exists. The gown was de rigiietir with all. The 
 majority of the students lived in, or near to, Old Aber- 
 deen, while to-day, I believe, few are to be found there, 
 
 (^) For this vital figure in the history of the University, see the 
 article in " Aurora Borealis ". A window in the Library perpetuates 
 the memory of "Johnny", which can fade only with the last of his 
 Alagistrands. 
 
 (-) In "Aurora Borealis". By Principal Sir William Geddes 
 and Rev. Dr. Donald.
 
 Professor John Fyfe.
 
 THE CROWN AND GOWN xxv 
 
 and I am informed that they are chiefly to be sought 
 for in the region of Mount Street and Watson Street. 
 With this dilution of Hfe and feeHng there cannot 
 obviously exist the same bonds that in the period 
 under our notice united the students with the 
 building, 
 
 Linked to the story and aim of the Crown, 
 Bound by unbreakable tic. {^) 
 
 For what the City of the Seven Hills was to the 
 Roman, the City of the Violet Crown to the 
 Athenian, what " the familiar Arno and the dome of 
 Brunelleschi " were to the Florentine, the Crown of 
 King's College was to the Fusion race, and the 
 feeling is faithfully recorded in the book. The 
 students of to-day are quite unfamiliar with the Old 
 Town, and not one in five hundred could tell the 
 " Needle's E'e " from the Art Gallery. This is in 
 later life a great loss to the subtler feelings of 
 association. It may with myself be the partiality of 
 the native that recalls with particular pleasure the 
 drowsy and hot-baked streets in summer about the 
 Town-house, and the screaming of the seagulls about 
 twelve o'clock at night at the Preventive Station, 
 "the noises of the Northern Sea", "the water lapping 
 on the crag ", the unforgettable smell of sea-weed, 
 the league-long roller on the beach. 
 
 And the long glories of the winter moon. 
 
 I have seen five university cities. I am familiar, 
 more than most can be, with the country described 
 in Matthew Arnold's " Thyrsis " and the "Scholar 
 Gipsy", "the wintry ridge of the Hinkseys", and the 
 
 Lone homestead in the Cumncr hills, 
 Where at her open door the housewife darns. 
 
 I have seen the cheerless acreage of Buchanan 
 
 (1) "Alma Mater", 14th February, 1900.
 
 xxvi EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 Street and Sauchiehall Street, stood on the Calton 
 Hill at night — the scene so much admired by 
 Stevenson — and walked by the moon over the Links 
 of St. Andrews. And, in associations at least, I feel 
 that I have nothing to regret. 
 
 In the life depicted in the novel there is one 
 omission that can hardly fail to be noticed by the 
 reader. There is no account of a Rectorial Election. 
 The last Rector of King's College, John Inglis, did 
 give his address, C) on October 14, 1857, in the hall 
 of the college, but so utterly was this an event of 
 interest only to graduates that Maclean has not 
 thought it necessary even to chronicle the existence 
 of such an ofHcial, though I am told that Lockhart 
 was busy over the election of Colonel Sykes at 
 Marischal College. For many years the office had 
 been reduced to a nullity, and the original purpose 
 and system of voting set aside. In 1855, to quieten 
 the feeling rising over the necessity of academic 
 reform, the graduates were allowed to elect the 
 Rector. On October 15, 1856, they voted in the old 
 Nations of King's College — Mar, Moray, Angus, and 
 Lothian. The Rector, Lord Ellesmere, was elected 
 for four years, but his death, in 1857, necessitated a 
 fresh choice. This fell on Inglis, the graduates 
 voting per capita and not per gentes, so completely 
 was the statutory method of election ignored and 
 disregarded. (') 
 
 Singula anni praedantur euntes. The graduates 
 returning to the scenes of their youth will scarcely 
 know the surroundings of King's College. What 
 Maclean describes as " those shady lanes that are to 
 be found in such numbers scattered about the out- 
 
 (^) "Rectorial Addresses, 1S35-1900." v.s., pp. 92-106. 
 (-) " Lord Rectors of the University of Aberdeen." By J. M. 
 Bulloch, M.A. Aberdeen, iSgo. P. 23.
 
 "TWO VOICES" xxvii 
 
 skirts of this old University town " he will now seek 
 for in vain. I myself have failed to find manj'. 
 Streets occupy their sites, and Orchard Lane has 
 become unrecognisable and a misnomer. The 'bus 
 and the tram run along places where the coach to 
 the North or the cackle of some vagrant hen alone 
 woke the echoes. The railway at Kittybrewster will 
 seem strange to many, and a new town has practi- 
 cally usurped the green fields in that quarter. The 
 feeling of remoteness has for ever passed away. 
 But if the exile walks the High Street late at night 
 he will feel that two things yet remain. " Two 
 voices are there, one is of the sea " and the other is 
 of the Crown. These abide, with the loss of much 
 of its surroundings, to console those who, like 
 Jonathan Monkbarns in the " Antiquary ", feel they 
 are getting " old and somedele gray ". 
 
 In reading this work of Maclean, where the past 
 is so faithfully depicted and so lovingly recalled, I am 
 sure that many will feel young again. The possession 
 in common with others of such memories and such 
 links with the past is one of the best prerogatives of 
 the Arts classes. " It is well", says Professor David 
 Masson, C) " that among the customs of university 
 life there should be some that, if they have no other 
 purpose, should at least be the means of accumu- 
 lating, in extra abundance of particular points, 
 reminiscences of fun for future years." In recalling 
 those days they may confess that with them indeed 
 the years unrevoked have run their wonted course, 
 but they will also agree 
 
 Time has but half succeeded in his theft 
 
 when they can dwell with pleasure on the days that 
 
 (1) M.A. 183Q, Mar. Coll.; LL.D. 1S64. See " Macmillan's 
 Magazine", February, 1864.
 
 xxviii EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 are gone. There is always something to be suspected 
 of those that cannot so revisit the glimpses of the 
 moon in their youth, and have never heard the 
 chimes at midnight. The real possessors of the true 
 feeling can assure themselves of being in good 
 company. " I know nothing ", writes his friend, 
 Mr. Charles Baxter, " would have gladdened Steven- 
 son's heart more than the idea that his name should 
 be held in affection by the magnificent raw stuff of 
 which our Scottish students are composed. He 
 loved the life, was of them, with them, and no 
 happier hours were ever passed than in the recalling 
 of our old student-days' escapades. His name is 
 recorded in the police books, for he passed the bar 
 as defendant in one of the snowball riots. This he 
 and I always considered a niche in the temple of 
 fame." (') 
 
 The older generation was nothing if not convivial. 
 I fear there was a good deal of drinking about. Many 
 of the students came from country districts where 
 such customs were prevalent, and something must be 
 allowed to the common life and its influence in 
 promoting convivial ways — " that appalling element 
 of gregariousness ", as the Chicago belle said to the 
 post-graduate student at Vassar, " which one does so 
 deprecate in the surroundings of the modern hotel". 
 " In an older day", writes Mr. Bulloch, (') " I am 
 told that he practised conviviality as a fine art. The 
 Tree of Knowledge was replaced at regular intervals 
 by the ' Lemon Tree ', and Bursary night was cele- 
 brated at Pegler's with something of the enthusiasm 
 of the old English hunting squire. But by the 
 eighties the student world had begun to wear a new 
 
 (')" Scottish Students' Song Book." Edition de luxe, 1897, 
 
 P- 356. 
 
 ( = ) " Aurora Borealis ", p. 387.
 
 RESIDENCE xxix 
 
 face. Bands of Hope and Mr. Murphy had talked 
 to the young generation not in vain ; and even a Tem- 
 perance Society C) had sprung up. Bursary night 
 was ahiiost a tradition, and, again, the Bajans' 
 ' Supper ' had ceased to engage the attention of the 
 poHce." No one need regret the passing of that 
 element. It was being sapped and mined in my own 
 time, and it was at last suppressed by the advent of 
 the University Magazine, "Alma Mater", that invalu- 
 able legacy of the 1880-84 Arts class, the ablest that 
 has yet passed through the gates, and which has 
 accomplished for the intellectual and social welfare 
 of the student more than has been effected by all the 
 Commissions that have ever met. Cosmo Innes was 
 of the opinion that in some form or another the resi- 
 dential system should be revived, and with an 
 influential section of graduates this idea has long 
 been present. Enough and more than enough has 
 been sunk in stone and lime in Broad Street, and the 
 claims of King's College have been unwarrantably 
 neglected. No benefactor could more effectively 
 raise the tone and standard than by the purchase of 
 such a block of buildings as would revive the old 
 inside residence which ceased in 1825, and which in 
 every newly-founded university is recognised as an 
 integral part of its existence. Under the present 
 chaotic system of individual classes the old ties are 
 fading and the feeling belonging to a definite "year" 
 is gone. In such circumstances no new university 
 novel could be written, for the author would find no 
 life to describe and no emotions to revive. 
 
 The student of to-day is amply — the old brigade 
 may think, too amply — provided for in the way of 
 amusements. The Cinderella was then known 
 
 (1) Instituted in 1882.
 
 XXX EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 as " the Lobby ", described in the work and in 
 the Notes. The institution had to be suppressed 
 when the dancers took to taking in porter as a 
 refreshment. The Choral Society, instituted in 1875, 
 had a faint analogue in the Psalmody Class, meeting 
 in King's College and sometimes reaching a hundred 
 members. " The meetings'', writes its conductor, C) 
 " were evidently a pleasing variety to the graver 
 studies of the University, and the members entered 
 into its work with real earnestness, so much so, 
 indeed, that I sometimes had a fear lest my prepared 
 outline of lesson-matter would run out : everything 
 in the preliminary stages — scales, tones, transpo- 
 sitions — being so speedily comprehended. But to 
 master the ' parts ' of psalm tunes was the chiefest 
 joy. How the fresh young voices — Highland and 
 Lowland — used to ring forth the tenor and bass, 
 particularly when the stalwart figure of venerable 
 Principal Colin Campbell would appear for a brief 
 hearing, or we got a kindly look in and quiet smile 
 from the patron of the class — tall, not-easily- 
 fathomed Professor David Thomson." 
 
 What memories cling round the old theatre in 
 Marischal Street, closed in 1873! I never was in it, 
 but every graduate retains in his mind some chosen 
 story. It could hardly be said to be aristocratic, or 
 even reputably middle class in tone, though they 
 certainly gave you the worth of your money, and 
 would mount a triple bill in good style. The 
 company was stock, and the audience mostly of a 
 pit and gallery type, everyone being on perfectly 
 easy terms of acquaintance with his neighbours. 
 The corner men at the end of the gallery took them- 
 selves seriously as students of the legitimate drama. 
 
 (^) " Reporting Reminiscences." By W. Carnie. Aberdeen, 
 1902. P. 167.
 
 THE TEMPLE OF THESPIS xxxi 
 
 It was not safe at times to lower the footlights when 
 the audience was in a mood of primitive facetious- 
 ness, as interpellation and gag of a free and 
 fescennine vein would come from the gallery. The 
 " gods " constituted themselves the patrons of the 
 moral law, and, in the language of the playbill, 
 reserved to themselves the right of withholding 
 admission. A whisper would run round the house 
 that its decorum had been infringed, and that the 
 Seventh Commandment was in danger from intruders. 
 Then you saw the gallery rise to a sense of the moral 
 trust confided to it. A gradual murmur, swelling to 
 a shout, would shake the pit and fulmine over the 
 boxes. " First", said my informant, dropping into the 
 vernacular and lingering lovingly over the words, as 
 if he sought to prolong the rapture of the recollection, 
 "it begood wi' a laich 'heet-teet', O syne it m'untit 
 up to a perfec' coUieshangie, an' afore ye could hae 
 said ' Jeck Robi'son ' the hoose wis up." Then peace 
 would be restored, either by the hurried flight of 
 the offending fair or by the sacrifice of some 
 blameless Iphigenia. But this, added my authority 
 reassuringly, did not often happen, as the virtuous 
 indignation of the "celestials" — ^Hantum religio potuit 
 suadere jnalorum ! " — if apt at times to assume a 
 frenzied tone, was ever found to be accompanied with 
 exact knowledge of the particular circumstances. 
 
 At the time of the book the lessee was Mrs. 
 Pollock, and among the favourite actors was Barry 
 Sullivan, so well and long known to a later genera- 
 tion. In 1854 he played, with great acceptance, the 
 part of Claude Melnotte in Bulwer Lytton's " Lady 
 of Lyons ", and another favourite cast was his 
 
 (^) /l«^//ff—" Commenced with a subdued 'hoity-toity'!" 
 Latine — " Primo incertum gHscebat murmur, mox dissoni clamores, 
 donee citius dicto atrox exarsit spectantium mugitus."
 
 xxxii EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 Master Walter in "The Hunchback" of Sheridan 
 Knowles (^) to the JuHa of Mrs. Pollock. I recollect, 
 about 1883, a notice in the cage to the effect that, 
 owing to the visit of Barry Sullivan, a meeting of 
 one of the societies would not take place — the first 
 occurrence, I fancy, of Students' Nights at the theatre. 
 At a little later date Mr. Edward Price, in turn the 
 lessee, was intimate with many students at King's 
 College, and visited them in College Bounds. It 
 may be new to many to learn that Miss Braddon, 
 the queen of the circulating library and author of 
 "Lady Audley's Secret", etc., appeared as an actress 
 in the old theatre, and she is remembered for " the 
 lovely head of hair in wavy rings" that entranced 
 her student admirers. In one of her books she even 
 describes two of her characters as " tall, raw-boned, 
 sandy-haired, red-complexioned youths, fresh from 
 some unpronounceable village north of Aberdeen ". 
 I fear all this goes to show that the sighs of our 
 artless academic Romeos from Botriphnie, Mon- 
 quhitter, Ordiquhill, and other melodious hamlets, 
 were spent in vain. I understand bouquets are now 
 officially tendered to the prima donna. The following 
 letter to the editors of the magazine will show Miss 
 Braddon has not forgotten the past : (^) 
 
 " Well do I remember ", she writes, " a long, 
 snowy winter in your noble city. It was the 
 dreadful winter of the Crimean War, and Marischal 
 Street was a frozen slope, almost impossible for 
 horses and very difficult for pedestrians ; and the 
 sleigh-bells used to enliven that splendid thorough- 
 
 C) In the "Life of Knowles", by his son, in 1872, limited to 
 twenty-five copies, it is stated that Knowles held a Medical degree 
 from Aberdeen, but no corroboration can be had from the official 
 records. 
 
 (-) "Alma Mater", July 3, 1901.
 
 THE DEBATING SOCIETY xxxiii 
 
 fare, Union Street, and the country road beyond. 
 I was very young at the time O and a passionate 
 admirer of Byron, and the knowledge that his 
 childhood had been spent in your city gave a special 
 charm to the place. My almost daily walk with my 
 mother, who had taught me to love her favourite 
 poet, was to ' Balgownie's Brig's black wa' ', and I 
 can remember, as if it were yesterday, the long, level 
 road between the stone-walled fields." 
 
 But the chief amusement was the Debating 
 Society. The debates that from 1848 to 1860 occupied 
 our fathers and grandfathers are naturally somewhat 
 different from those in the present day, just as the 
 place is itself altered. The 1848 session opens with 
 the rules and a happy pen-and-ink sketch of King's 
 College, by the Rev. Dr. Joass of Golspie, which 
 shows with perfect accuracy the cows grazing in 
 University Road, quite close to the now demolished 
 buildings. The debates appear session after session 
 as hardy annuals. You find Total Abstinence (never 
 carried), the Abolition of Gaelic, of Capital Punish- 
 ment; the Influence of Burns, of the Stage, National 
 Education ; Classics v. Mathematics, Savage v. Civi- 
 lized Life, The Claims of Britain and America in the 
 War of Independence. Lord Rosebery, the old 
 Lord Rector, will rejoice that the stock subject of 
 Cromwell never finds the Protector defeated — per- 
 haps the memories of the Tower, where the Society 
 met, and its foundation by the Oliverian Principal of 
 1658, John Row, kept them sound. The Slave Trade, 
 Free Trade v. Protection, exercised them greatly. 
 Mr, Birrell says the characters of Henry VHI and 
 of Mary Queen of Scots will be with us as long as 
 the schoolmaster. Along with Charles I they both 
 
 (1) 17. B. 1S37.
 
 xxxiv EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 turn up as stock subjects of debate, but never as 
 favourite characters. Chartism was in the air — hence 
 the Franchise, Electorial (sic) Districts, and Paid 
 Members find eager discussion. But Female Suf- 
 frage — or Women's Rights in any form — never 
 appears, and the excited " Suffragette " had not yet 
 appeared to mob Prime Ministers. Questions about 
 the Fusion of the colleges are always rejected " by a 
 large majority". 
 
 The meetings were held on Friday evenings, and 
 lasted from six to eight o'clock. There was no 
 syllabus, but the subjects for debate, together with 
 the openers and the speakers, were selected in 
 advance at the preceding meeting. The opener and 
 the replier were allowed twentj' minutes each, the 
 other speakers ten each. The descriptive touches 
 are few, and the tone severely formal and earnest. 
 Medical students were not admitted, though some 
 favour was shown to those attending Professor 
 Andrew Fyfe's Chemistry Class. Some little points 
 I shall dwell upon, selecting known names, while I 
 draw discreetly a veil over the noisy — those that 
 spoke out of their turn, were warned but persisted, 
 and were expelled. The motion was first carried to 
 "turn him out": then, that the offender be expelled 
 the Society: and, finally, that this be entered in 
 the minutes. Sometimes the member would bow to 
 the storm and appeal for mercy to the shorn lamb ; 
 others would, like a defiant Irish M.P., shake the 
 dust off their feet, and demand that their names be 
 erased from the list. Evidently all this was more 
 formal and orderly than in the days after 1860, when 
 the increase of numbers through the Fusion intro- 
 duced a freer and more lively style of debate and of 
 manners. 
 
 The end of the session seems ever to have
 
 ARCHIBALD FORBES xxxv 
 
 awakened tender feelings. In one year it is merely 
 stated that " expressions of sorrow at parting from 
 the Society " were dropped by the Magistrands. In 
 1853 this has warmed up into "pathetic speeches", 
 and tears from Magistrands, " fain to linger longer 
 in the academic grove ". Who shall say, after that, 
 that the Aberdonian is like his native granite and has 
 no soul ! " Talk not of tears", as Mrs. Hemans says, 
 " till ye have seen the tears of " — the Magistrands 
 of old. 
 
 Archibald Forbes, the war-correspondent, was as 
 a Bajan an active member. He is found to fail, how- 
 ever, in convincing the Society about the merits of 
 Queen Mary in the Darnley affair, and the advantages 
 of Phrenology. " The debate was interrupted by a 
 circumstance ", says the secretary, " that at first 
 threatened to leave a stain on the Society". A wag, 
 a daring and bold Bajan, had handed to the President 
 a communication, purporting to be from a member 
 present, indicating an intention to speak. It turned 
 out to be a hoax — a forgery ! For a Bajan then 
 to hoax a Magistrand was as grave a sin as high 
 treason, levying war against, or conspiring to take 
 the life of, the sovereign. Expulsion was at once 
 demanded. The joker, whose address shows he 
 lodged with Archie, pleaded for mercy. He autho- 
 rized Forbes to " confess for him" — I am informed 
 authoritatively that the hoax was perpetrated by 
 Archie himself — and speak for him. This was done, 
 but a motion for severity was proposed and carried 
 —31 to 18— by Sir James Stirling. C) 
 
 Burns and his influence they often debated, and 
 once Professor Black (') is found doubting the bard. 
 
 (^) M.A., King's Coll., 1855; Senior Wrangler, i860; LL.D., 
 
 1887. 
 
 (•-) M.A., King's Coll., 1855; Professor of Humanity, 1868-81.
 
 xxxvi EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 I remember his recantation early in the 1873 Bajan 
 year. He had quoted the last verses of "The Cottar's 
 Saturday Night", when a foolish Gymnasium boy 
 scraped his disapproval. The Professor hotly said 
 there was a snob in the class, as Professor Martin 
 used to say that there was a liar in his. Sir David 
 Stewart (M.A. 1855), scenting from afar Kruger 
 and Protection, is found justifying the relegation of 
 Napoleon to St. Helena, and taking part in the old 
 favourite of Total Abstinence. A motion made that 
 evening that there be no meeting next Friday, to 
 give members an opportunity of hearing " Mr. Gough, 
 the famous total abstinence orator", was simply 
 thrown out by a show of hands. 
 
 Peter Fender, so familiar in the book, proposes 
 that all speakers take the floor ; but the amendment 
 was carried that this be recommended but not 
 imperative. They condemned the marriage of the 
 Princess Royal with the Crown Prince of Prussia, 
 demanded the raising of the standard for degrees, 
 and ominously refer the thinness of a meeting to its 
 being Bursary night. The singing of " Auld Lang 
 Syne" at the close of a session dates from February 
 26, 1858. Ossian first crops up in the Bajan year of 
 Dr. Whyte, C) of Free St. George's, Edinburgh, who 
 is found supporting Cromwell. A joker that per- 
 petrated an "outrage" by setting a cracker to 
 the door escaped detection from a commission 
 empowered to track him. Up to 1864 they met in 
 King's College, either in the Mathematical class- 
 room — Professor Fuller's, the lowest in the Tower — 
 or in the " old " Moral Philosophy room. The 
 Fusion brought in the New Town, The motion for 
 removal thither was carried, though opposed by 
 
 (') M.A., 1862. In Orchard Cottage, 1858-9; 45 Spital, 1859-60. 
 Moderator, 1898.
 
 FISCAL ALLOTMENTS xxxvii 
 
 Professor Minto, a most active delegate, member, 
 and president. 
 
 Large was their bounty, and their soul sincere. 
 The voting away of the surplus funds of one or two 
 pounds created great interest. In 1848 it went to 
 the "relief of the families of seamen during the 
 late storm at Peterhead ". Other recipients are the 
 Royal Infirmary, the Female School of Industry, the 
 Deaf and Dumb Institution, the Missionary Associa- 
 tions of the two colleges — the only link of union 
 between the two rival foundations — the Florence 
 Nightingale Testimonial Fund, the Shipwrecked 
 Mariners' Society, and the liquidation of the college 
 debt (against the Wallace Memorial Fund). In 1853 
 there is a finely descriptive entry. By " an over- 
 whelming majority" it went to " Uncle Tom's Penny 
 Offering ". " The proposal was received with loud 
 expressions of enthusiasm, and the vote was 
 accompanied by tremendous shouts in praise of 
 Mrs. Stowe's admirable work, while the mention of 
 American slavery was met by outbursts of blasting 
 indignation." But such a pitch of moral exaltation 
 is difficult to sustain, and in February, 1860, virtue 
 has fallen. The funds went " to be expended on a 
 supper party ". Let us hide the decline decently, 
 and not draw their frailties from their dread abode. 
 The men of the pre-Fusion King's College, with its 
 older ways, had passed for ever. 
 
 A Bajan then had no solace for home sickness in 
 the weekly paper from home. For the session he 
 had retired to a desert place, and was emphatically 
 "off the main". Home supplies reached him either 
 by the carriers congregating at George Allan's 
 stables, in Gerrard Street, or by the various coaches 
 — the "Marquis of Huntly", the "Defiance", the 
 " Earl of Fife", "Lord Forbes", etc. — that had their
 
 xxxviii EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 general terminus at Robertson's Royal Hotel, in 
 Union Street. If you came from America or India 
 there was an embargo on Cupid or the Fifth Com- 
 mandment in the shape of a shilling and one and 
 tenpence for each letter. And posting was posting 
 then. The printed regulations instructed you that 
 "the most effectual plan is to dip the stamp wholly 
 in water, to shake the water off immediately, and to 
 press it upon the letter with a piece of clean blotting 
 paper ". This was " to counteract the tendency it 
 has to curl up from the letter when one side only is 
 wetted". So you took the value of your trouble. 
 Now postcards seem sapping filial affection by the 
 obsolescence of the long family letter, in which the 
 mother was anxious to know " if ye wis wearin' yer 
 linder", and the father chronicled the parochial 
 small beer, " hoping this will find you well, as it 
 leaves us — thank God — at present". Outside news 
 was vague. Maclean seems untouched by the 
 Crimean War and the Mutiny. The "Journal" of 
 the time — when newspapers were dearer — circulated 
 in two or three copies up all Donside by rotation, so 
 that the lists of the old 93rd— the "Thin Red Line" 
 men — were thumbed into tatters ere the paper 
 reached the last eager expectant at Kildrummy. O 
 
 There was no " Students' Song Book ", and 
 nothing in the way of social reunions. When 
 classes separated thej^ did so for ever, with no 
 chance of seeing one another again. One class, 
 however — that of 1856-60 — is engaged in the pro- 
 duction of its " Record ", and its early appearance 
 this year will fitly mark the link of the pre- Fusion 
 
 (^)"I have seen, during the Peninsular War, Captain Leith, a 
 very tall man, standing on the top of a cask at the mouth of Adelphi 
 Court, reading the news of a battle to several hundred people " — 
 " Selections from William Forsyth." Aberdeen, 1882. v.s., p. 182.
 
 SINGERS AND SONGS xxxix 
 
 period to the Quatercentenary of the University. 
 The great song of the time, which has survived only 
 in name, was the theatrical ditty of " Fare You Well, 
 my own Mary Ann. (^) The Crimean War had 
 largely revived Bayly's " I'll hang my Harp on a 
 Willow Tree ", and it was then firmly believed, in 
 spite of chronology, that it referred to an early love 
 affair of the Queen. " Old Bob Ridley " — Shades of 
 the dead, have I not heard your voices ! — and Charles 
 Mackay's " Cheer, Boys, Cheer ! " woke the echoes 
 at night, the last having been written to com- 
 memorate the finding of gold, in 1851, in Australia, 
 and sung by the troops in the trenches of the 
 Crimea. The first crop of the darkey melodies — 
 untainted by the music halls — was in the mouths of 
 all, and Foster's "Old Dog Tray", "My Old Ken- 
 tucky Home ", " Cheer up, Sam ", " Nancy Till " 
 ("She lies high and dry on the Ohio"), "Old Folks 
 at Home " (chap, xxix) were heard everywhere. 
 The sentimentalists had " O, Steer my Bark to 
 Erin's Isle ! " which I have never heard since, " The 
 Rose of AUandale ", and Dempster's " Doubting 
 Heart". I know not if the decidedly more strident 
 and vulgar airs of the present are in any form an 
 improvement. 
 
 The first edition of this book, issued in 1874 at 
 Glasgow by Marr & Sons, was unrevised by its 
 author, whose death had occurred before the proof- 
 sheets were ready. It was disfigured accordingly 
 by many grave orthographical mutinies and errors in 
 
 ( 1 ) Among "the changes of this age that fleeting time procureth", 
 as Minstrel Burne says, we must reckon the disappearance of this 
 delectable ditty, the "Bluebell" and "Bom-Bombay" of an earlier 
 day. O tcHtpns, edax rcriim ! A later generation will remember how, 
 in 1S73, "The Little Bunch of Roses" ("In her hair she wears a 
 white camellia") seriously disorganised the Bajans, and threatened 
 to imperil the decorous restraint of the Magistrands.
 
 xl EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION 
 
 proper names. These have here been silently cor- 
 rected, while mottoes have been added to the 
 chapters and pages. In all other respects the book 
 is issued in 1906 unaltered. 
 
 I have to thank Mr. John Grant, 31 George IV 
 Bridge, Edinburgh, for permission to make use of 
 his copyright in the work. Other debts are acknow- 
 ledged in the Notes. To the Rev. J. A. Sutor, M.A. 
 1862, (^) I am especially indebted for local colour in 
 particulars, while his personal acquaintance with the 
 deceased author of the book and with all the 
 characters mentioned by name in it has been found 
 invaluable in many ways. I would also desire to 
 associate peculiarly Mr. P. J. Anderson, M.A. 1872, 
 the University Librarian, with the production of the 
 book. Virgilium vidi tantum. I had the fortune 
 once to see Mr. Gladstone, but it was in such a situa- 
 tion as the great leader himself would have esteemed 
 most fitting. It was at the top of Oriel Lane, in 
 Oxford, when he was taking, in February, 1890, his 
 last look of the University. He stood so long and 
 looked so earnestly on the surroundings as to be 
 quite oblivious to the respectful salutations of the 
 passers-by. I stood at his elbow and watched him. 
 Some nights before at the Union, amid great enthu- 
 siasm, he had used the words that Mr. Morley 
 preserves in his "Life". (") "There is not a man 
 that has passed through this great and famous 
 University that can say with more truth than I can 
 say, ' I love her from the bottom of my heart '." 
 These words I would fain here apply to us both. 
 
 As I close this introduction a letter reaches me 
 from an old class-fellow, who writes to me from 
 
 (1) Mr. Sutor, with whom a rich store of academic memories was 
 preserved, has died as these sheets are passing through the press. 
 (-) " Life of Gladstone." Book I, chap. iii.
 
 A QUESTION FOR THE FUTURE xli 
 
 a remote corner of New South Wales, " in sight 
 of the waves of the Pacific". He says they have 
 there no snow and no east winds as in Aberdeen, 
 while the geranium grows to the size of a whin 
 bush in the open air, and has only to be planted 
 to take care of itself. After five-and-twenty years 
 he is still full of the Crown and Tower. I trust 
 he is the type of many into whose hands this book 
 may fall. Little was done to promote any feeling 
 of loyalty in the academic "Old Guard", and how 
 much that feeling will avail the present generation 
 is a question that must be left for the future to 
 decide. 
 
 WM. KEITH LEASK. 
 
 Aberdeen, May 25, 1906.
 
 AUTHOR'S PREFACE 
 
 No books are read with greater avidity and pleasure 
 than those relating to college life. Rich and poor, 
 educated and uneducated, alike take an interest in 
 those institutions which are the pride and boast of 
 our country. 
 
 Singularly enough, with the exception of some 
 works of George MacDonald, almost nothing has 
 been written concerning student life at our northern 
 colleges. And yet this has an interest as great, and 
 in many cases is more instructive, than student life 
 in the great universities of the South. As the best 
 crops are obtained from virgin soil, as the real 
 character of a people may be best learned by mingling 
 among its peasantry, so the best idea of the craving 
 in the Scottish mind for learning may be found in 
 the classrooms of these northern universities. 
 Comparatively poor, they open their doors to the 
 poor as well as to the rich, exact from them no 
 badge of servitude, place them on the same benches 
 as their more fortunate companions, and value them 
 for their scholarship, and for that alone. Liberty, 
 equality, fraternity, in their best sense, was their 
 motto, but if all we hear be true this is fast passing
 
 xliv AUTHOR'S PREFACE 
 
 away. The adoration of wealth (the great sin and 
 curse of the present generation) has taken root and 
 flourishes even here, and good scholarship becomes 
 subordinate to it. Alas, " 'tis true 'tis pity ; and pity 
 'tis 'tis true!" 
 
 In the works of George MacDonald we under- 
 stand — for we have purposely abstained from reading 
 them as yet — that he deals with individual characters, 
 not with students in the aggregate. Now, what we 
 have endeavoured to portray in the following pages 
 is the life of students in a mass : their hard grinding, 
 their wild vagaries, their drinking parties, and their 
 practical jokes. If it should be complained that the 
 first appears far more seldom than the others, it has 
 to be remembered that the frolics of our youth seem 
 to stick to our memories, and afford us pleasure in 
 after years, while the daily routine of life presents 
 none of those salient points on which memory loves 
 to hang her " shadowy recollections ". If you happen 
 to meet two old college " chums ", and listen to their 
 recital of the past, you will find that it will consist 
 principally of those wild pranks which are common 
 to the heyday of youth. 
 
 Our great object in this work has been to show 
 that the poor man can by his talents and perseverance 
 command a place for himself in the literary world 
 equal to the best in the land. To obtain this he has, 
 however, to exercise great self-denial, and live upon 
 what to an English mechanic would be absolute
 
 AUTHOR'S PREFACE xlv 
 
 starvation. But to the man who has resolved to 
 rise in the world these are but minor considerations 
 which trouble him very little, being but the means 
 to an end. He will endure any privation, and do 
 almost any work, provided it will help him forward 
 in the march of improvement. Distinguished students 
 have been found acting as " gillies " on the Highland 
 moors during the summer recess ; attending as golf- 
 club carriers or professional golfers on the links of 
 their university town; going a voyage to Greenland or 
 Davis Strait when the funds became low ; in fact, 
 doing anything that would recruit their purses and 
 their libraries. And to see what a number of these 
 have risen to fame, and left a name of which their 
 country is proud, let the incredulous reader take up 
 any book of eminent Scotsmen, and run through it, 
 noting down the names as he goes along. If we 
 mistake not, he will be as much surprised as we were 
 at the number of those, particularly from the counties 
 north of the Dee, who rose from the ranks, gained a 
 bursary, and consequently a university education, 
 and now live in the annals of their country. 
 
 To the Messrs. Chambers we have to return our 
 best thanks for their kindness in allowing us to 
 reproduce the greater part of our article entitled, 
 " University Life in the North of Scotland ", which 
 appeared in their excellent Journal for May, 1872. 
 The curious reader we would refer to that paper for 
 some interesting information regarding the living
 
 xlvi AUTHOR'S PREFACE 
 
 among students, which could not be very well 
 introduced into this work. 
 
 Hoping that none will be offended at the liberties 
 which may have been taken with certain august 
 personages, we send the book forth into the world, 
 trusting that others may derive as much pleasure in 
 its perusal as we have had in its composition.
 
 TO 
 
 MY OLD COLLEGE CHUMS 
 
 AS 
 
 A RE.MINISCENCE OF OUR GOLDEN PRIME 
 
 THIS BOOK 
 
 IS AFFECTIONATELY DEDICATED 
 
 BY 
 
 THE AUTHOR
 
 CHAPTER I 
 
 There's an old University town 
 Between the Don and the Dee, 
 
 Looking over the grey sand dunes, 
 Looking out on the cold North Sea. 
 
 —Dr. Walter C. Smith, 
 
 M.A., Mar. Coll., IS4T. 
 
 " This wull never dee. If ye're gaun to cairry aff the 
 first bursary at the Competition, anti be a week's 
 won'er, ye'll need to gie ower makin' sic things as 
 maxies. A maxie's jist as sure to spoil ye as gin 
 ye had never been there. Nae that a version wi' 
 maxies hisna got the first bursary afore noo, for I 
 could show ye the version o' a first bursar wi' sax o' 
 them in't, and as mony medies as wid mak' a gweed 
 mony main Bit that wis a while ago. And yet 
 there's nae tellin' fat may happen noo, for, atween 
 oor twa sel's, the folk at the college are nae great 
 sticks o' judges o' versions. I could pick oot fifty 
 schoolmaisters for ae professor that kens better 
 aboot them. Bit that's maybe because it's their 
 business. Bit, as I wis sayin', maxies winna dee 
 ava. Ye maun gie ower makin' them, for they are 
 nae profit to onybody, maist ava to the folk that 
 mak' them. And, look here, there's ignis, feminine; 
 noo, everybody kens it's masculine. Ignis fatiius — 
 igriis fatmis, man! Fat's up wi' us? Remember 
 that, for gin I see the like again I'll begin to think 
 that ye are yersel' a ignis fatiiiis.'" 
 2
 
 2 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Such were the remarks made by my school- 
 master one day in sunny September as I stood at 
 his desk, after the dismissal of the other scholars, 
 and had my version examined. I had been unfor- 
 tunate that forenoon — whether owing to the fine day, 
 and the thoughts it engendered of green hedges and 
 waving cornfields ripe for the sickle, or whether from 
 my own obtuseness, I cannot say, but this at least 
 was certain, I had incurred his displeasure by making 
 a number of foolish errors. Spite of this he was in 
 evident good humour and rather garrulous, for he 
 had thrown aside his usual reserve, and seemed 
 determined to give me a lecture on my future course 
 with regard to versions. At all times he was a very 
 considerate, kind master, particularly to anyone in 
 whom he saw energy and a determination to work 
 at his favourite classics. With these he would 
 exercise all the powers of his stored mind, and work 
 for hours after the other scholars were dismissed. 
 
 His great delight was to prepare boys for college 
 and the annual Competition ; and if other branches 
 of study were somewhat neglected for these, one 
 could hardly blame him when the results were so 
 good. A thorough classical education gave to the 
 scholar such a knowledge of his own language as he 
 could not acquire by any other means ; and, besides, 
 put in his way a college education, which, according 
 to him, was the ne plus ultra of everyone's existence. 
 Whenever he found a clever boy he would turn his 
 studies in the direction of the classics, and if his 
 parents would not or could not pay for his education, 
 he would teach him free, assured that he would soon 
 obtain his reward by his gaining a bursary at the 
 annual Competition. Once thus far on the way, he 
 left him to push himself forward, certain that with 
 this groundwork laid he was able to raise a super-
 
 THE PARISH TEACHER 3 
 
 structure which would be a credit to himself and all 
 connected with him. 
 
 No one ever gloried more than he did in a good 
 scholar, watched more closely his efforts to succeed, 
 and gave more willingly a helping hand over the 
 stumbling-blocks that came in his way. An ardent 
 lover, as we have said, of the classics, he thought no 
 man could arrive at any eminence without a know- 
 ledge of them, and that therefore it was the duty of 
 everyone to become acquainted with them. He had 
 a sovereign contempt for all mere money-makers 
 and dancing-masters, and often referred to the 
 seemingly curious anomaly in life — that the " master 
 of heel and toe", as he was facetiously called, should 
 be paid for his three months' "jumping" more than 
 he got for the whole year in instructing them in 
 what was to guide them through life. He was him- 
 self a splendid classical scholar, and wonderful 
 stories were related regarding his success at school 
 and college, which were in the main true. That he 
 was fitted to fill a much higher position everyone 
 knew, but, like many another schoolmaster, he re- 
 mained contented with his lot, happy if he had only 
 two or three young men, or rather boys, to prepare 
 for college. With these he would work, as we have 
 said, long after school hours, pointing out errors, 
 praising their successful efforts, placing before them 
 for their imitation some niceties of his favourite 
 languages, and giving them words of encouragement 
 when encountering difficulties, which were of im- 
 mense service to them in after years. 
 
 In school he was rather original in his system, 
 and very different from the stuck-up specimens now 
 sent out from our normal seminaries. An excellent 
 musician, he generally kept a flageolet, tin whistle, 
 or such-like instrument in his desk, and when the
 
 4 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 work was hard and he and his scholars began to flag, 
 it was no uncommon thing for him to jump into the 
 desk, take up one of these, and play the " Braes o' 
 Mar", or some of those glorious stirring airs so 
 common to the music of Scotland. Then, nodding 
 his head and cracking some joke, he would jump up, 
 call out another class, and proceed with his work, 
 both master and scholar being greatly relieved by 
 the pastime. 
 
 His method of teaching and marking errors was 
 very difl'erent from what is now of common use any- 
 where but in certain districts in Scotland. After a 
 sufficient knowledge of the elements of the Latin 
 language had been acquired, the pupil was put into 
 what was called versions. These were translations 
 from English into Latin, graduated in such a manner 
 as to be adapted to the growing knowledge of the 
 pupil. To be proficient in these was the true test 
 of a scholar, as anyone unacquainted with the 
 language might know. It is an easy matter to 
 translate a piece of Latin into good English, but it 
 requires a thorough knowledge of the language — of 
 its idiomatic peculiarities and niceties — to turn a 
 piece of English into good Latin. To write a sine 
 errore version was the acme of my ambition, the 
 greatest feat, in my opinion then, which could be 
 performed by anyone, and a sure proof that the 
 performer was destined to stand high at the next 
 Competition. The errors in these, as we have said, 
 were also marked in a manner which insured perfect 
 accuracy. One in gender, conjugation, or of the 
 grossest kind, was called a " maxie ", and counted 
 four; one of the medium kind, a " medie ", which 
 consisted of false tenses and such like, was marked 
 two; while the lowest of all, such as mis-spellings, 
 etc., was termed a " minie ", and counted one. By
 
 AlAXIES AND MEDIES 5 
 
 this means a greater accuracy was obtained, and a 
 horror engendered in our minds of anything ap- 
 proaching to the grossness of a maxie. 
 
 That he produced good and great scholars none 
 will deny. It is a fact that, from the time he was 
 appointed to the parish school until the day of his 
 death, not a year passed without his having one or 
 more bursars at the neighbouring universities. Some 
 of his old students also went farther south, to the 
 great colleges of England, and carried off the highest 
 honours that the country offered. Some are pro- 
 fessors in their own and other lands ; some hold the 
 highest positions in their native towns; some com- 
 mand the noblest vessels afloat ; some are ministers 
 of the gospel ; and some are schoolmasters. Others, 
 alas ! lie in the silent grave of their own solitary 
 churchyard, or beneath the sun-baked earth of 
 foreign lands ; whilst others lie under the snow- 
 wreaths of the icy north, 'mid Franklin's noble band, 
 or are swept through ocean's green caverns — the 
 sailor's vast and wandering grave. 
 
 This special forenoon my mind had been running 
 upon something else than Latin, and, on that account, 
 my version was worse than ordinary'. The master, 
 after glancing over its contents, knocked his feet out 
 before him until they came into contact with the 
 front of the desk, and made such a noise as caused 
 me to start. Noticing this, he said — 
 
 " Ay, ye may weel start ! It's f u' o' medies an' 
 maxies, and is nae mair like a version than my fit is. 
 Fat's the maitter wi' ye th' day ? " 
 
 " I don't know. I'm afraid I've been rather care- 
 less, for my mind has been occupied with other things 
 than the version." 
 
 " I'm thinkin' that's aboot the truth ye're 
 speakin' ", said he, as broadly as he could, for he
 
 6 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 invariably spoke thus when giving advice or in a 
 good humour. " Yer min's been wan'erin', an' fan 
 ye're deein' that it's perfectly impossible for ye to 
 mak' onything like a gweed version. Nae man born 
 could dee't. I can tell ye it needs ane to hae a' his 
 wuts aboot him to mak' a version withoot maxies. 
 Fan ye're at Latin, my man, dee naething but think 
 aboot Latin." 
 
 " I'm afraid I'll never be able to make anything of 
 it", said I, despondingly. 
 
 "Afraid! Fat richt hae ye to be feart, I vvid like 
 to ken ? Let me tell ye, my man, that gin ye be 
 begun wi' onything o' the kin', ye'd better stop it at 
 ance. Naebody'll dee onything at Latin that's feart. 
 Determine ye to write sine errore versions, an' ye'U 
 be sure to dee't sometime or ither, I'll nae say ye'll 
 dee't a' at ance, but the time wull come fan ye'll get 
 ' S. E.' at the en' o' yer versions as aften as onything 
 else. Feart! Jist listen to me for a minute", and 
 he wheeled himself round in his desk, and rested the 
 one leg upon the other preparatory to taking a huge 
 pinch of snuff. "Ye ken Nicol Macnicol as weel as 
 I dee. Weel, he wis ane that wis feart, wi' his tale 
 o't, an' whenever the Competition wis drawin' near 
 gid clean gyte a'thegither. Nae scholar o' mine 
 could dee better than him if it wis some months 
 afore the Competition, bit fan it cam' to the months 
 o' September or October, he wid mak' maxies richt 
 an' left, an', for the life o' him, didna ken fan he made 
 them. I eest aften to be sorry for him, an' couldna 
 feel in my hairt to scald him fan he made sic 
 blunders, for I kent weel it wis jist a case o' doon- 
 richt nervishness. Ae week he wid be makin' 
 versions that wid hae delighted yer hairt, the neest 
 he wid be jumblin' aboot like ane dementet. Fan the 
 sine errores were being made I wid sometimes say to
 
 "SINE ERRORE" 7 
 
 him, 'Ay, ay! jist wait a wee! Wait till the month 
 o' October, an' we'll see a vera different story'. An' 
 jist as certain as the month cam', there wis he at his 
 aul' trade. Noo look, again, at Peter Robertson. 
 Ye ken he his a gey conceit o' himsel', an' thinks 
 that there's naebody like him. Weel, he eest to 
 flounder richt an' left through his Latin, and if he 
 did happen to hit upon onything gweed it wis mair by 
 chance than gweed management. Fan poor Macnicol 
 wid be makin' versions that perfectlj' scunnert a 
 body, he wid gang on an' sometimes write ane abeen 
 the average. Noo, there wis nae comparison atween 
 them, for Robertson couldna baud a can'el to Mac- 
 nicol as an accurate scholar at ony ither time than 
 the months o' September an' October. Bit ye see 
 the ane wis feart an' the ither wisna. Weel, the 
 Competition cam', an', wid ye believe't, Robertson 
 cam' in for a £12 10s. bursary an' Macnicol wis 
 naewhaur. Noo, ye see fat it is to be feart." 
 
 " But those maxies beat me completely. I don't 
 think I'll ever give over making them." 
 
 " Never gie ower makin' them ! If that's yer 
 intention, I'll hae naething mair to dee wi' ye. I've 
 seen the day fan ye made far mair o' them than ye 
 dee noo — ay, even than fat there is in this version. 
 A body maun mak' maxies until they ken better, an' 
 then, if they've ony sense ava, they stop. Nane bit a 
 feel wid mak' maxies, or ane that kens nae better. 
 Jist look, noo, at WuUie Robb. He eest to mak' 
 maxies richt an' left, jist because he kent nae better. 
 Ay, man, I've seen him sometimes cryin' ower them 
 like to brak' his hairt. Weel, fat cam' o' him ? He 
 persevered, an' in time got ower maxies an' medies, 
 an' a' the troubles o' a Latin scholar, an' wis ane o' 
 my highest bursars. He noo bauds ane o' the best 
 positions i' the Kirk, an' afore he got there he
 
 8 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 cairriet a'thing afore him at college. Noo, there's a 
 man for ye to follow." 
 
 " It will be long before I will be able to do that." 
 
 "Ay, maybe it will; bit naething in this warl' is 
 worth trying for unless it be difficult to obtain. In- 
 deed, gin it wisna, it widna be worth tryin' for. Div 
 ye think ye can mak' Latin as ye mak' yer ain 
 language ? Na, na, my man ! Ye maun work — ay, 
 an' work hard — an' gin ye winna dee that ye're nae 
 worth tryin' to push forret. Grind, grind hard, an' 
 the maist difficult things'll become easy. Grindin' 
 can dee onything. It'll mak' the greatest dunce a 
 gweed scholar." 
 
 " Welf, I'll do what I can. I must say, however, 
 it is very disheartening to find, after all your exer- 
 tions, that you are still making blunders." 
 
 "Ay, that's something like the thing. Dee fat ye 
 can — ye canna dee mair. An' as for the blunders, 
 never min' makin' them. If ye didna mak' them ye 
 wid never ken fat they were. Ye wid gang on makin' 
 them and remain in ignorance o' them till it wis 
 ower late. There's naebody in the warl' bit fat'U 
 mak' a blunder sometimes. There's naebody in- 
 fallible, nae even the Pope o' Rome, though they wid 
 try to mak's believe ithervvise. Set ye him doon 
 to a Latin version, an' see gin he widna mak' some 
 maxies. Ay, an' pretty dog Latin it wid be tee, gin 
 we're to judge by fat he sen's oot noos an' thans in 
 his bulls an' fatnots. Determine ye to be a first-rate 
 scholar — ane that wuU write sine errore versions every 
 day, an' I've nae doot ye'll dee't sometimes. Re- 
 member the motto, ' Humanum est errare', bit 
 determine ye that your motto as regards your 
 versions wull be ' Humanum est non errare'." 
 
 " I'll do my best to follow out what you say. I 
 must own that my version to-day is very bad."
 
 DOG LATIN 
 
 li 
 
 Bad ! A}', far waur than it ocht to be. Ye 
 ken as weel as I dee that there is naething I like 
 waur than to come across Latin nae fit for dogs to 
 speak. It's only feels that write mens tuus oculus for 
 ' Mind your eye ', or only folk that are fu' that say 
 Bibere janitorem a te sed, bit I wid expec' better things 
 fae you than to read in your version sic an expres- 
 sion as sequens fahula for ' The following story ', fan 
 haec wid hae been far mair elegant. Lat's hae nae 
 mair o' that, mind you." 
 
 " I'll take care of that. It is indeed a very foolish 
 error." 
 
 " Foolish ! It's waur than that — it's suicidal. 
 It's aneuch to ruin a body for a lifetime. A decent, 
 plain version, withoot a single elegant expression in 
 it, wid be sure to come in lang afore ye. The evil o't 
 is that ye pit doon withoot thinkin' a word that wid 
 nae mair dee than a donkey wid, fan, gin ye hid 
 thocht for a minute, or consulted yer dictionar', ye 
 wid hae seen that it wis gross nonsense. Aye look 
 at yer dictionar' — ye'll be sure to fin' something in't 
 that ye didna ken afore ; an' even though ye didna', 
 its only the trouble o' turnin't up." 
 
 " I am very sorry that I have been so careless, 
 after your great care and kindness towards me." 
 
 " O ay, nae doot ye are, bit ye see ye hinna been 
 yersel' at a' th' day. Yer min's been rinnin' aifter 
 something else than Latin. Ye're gey near that 
 window, an' see ower weel oot to the green fields an' 
 wavin' corn to mak' sine errore versions. Weel, weel, 
 my laddie, I canna blame ye. It's only fat's naitral, 
 an' I like to see a touch o' it, even though there is 
 alang wi't a version fu' o' maxies. An' it is a fine 
 day", said he, looking out at the window. " Gang ye 
 yer waa's for the aifterneen. Roam aboot the green 
 fields, rin aboot the braes, an' think aboot naething,
 
 10 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 or raither aboot a'thing, an' enjoy yersel'. It is only 
 at your time o' life ye can dee't ; nae like me, fan 
 ye're aul' " — and there was a tender ring in his 
 voice as he said this. " Gang awa' noo, an' fan the 
 morn comes, attack the Latin teeth an' nail, an' lat's 
 see nae mair maxies. Rin awa', noo — rin awa' 
 
 » ' "
 
 CHAPTER II 
 
 Anticipation forward points the view ; 
 
 The mother, wi' her needle an' her sheers, 
 Gars auld claes look amaist as weel's the new ; 
 The father mixes a' wi' admonition due. 
 
 — Burns. 
 
 The days wore on, and the dreaded time of the 
 Competition drew near. P'or months previous to it 
 I had been working very hard, both at Latin and 
 Greek, and composing versions but very indifferently. 
 Sometimes they would reach the acme of perfection, 
 and I would be greeted by the master with the 
 remark, " Ay, that's the kin' o' version to mak' ! Dee 
 that at the Competition, and ye'll be sure to cairrj^ 
 aff the first bursary." But, on the whole, my efforts 
 were rather disheartening, and I was beginning to 
 entertain the idea that there was little use of my 
 attending that annual gathering, to which are col- 
 lected all the talent and scholarship of the North of 
 Scotland. 
 
 It may be, perhaps, as well here to explain what 
 these bursaries are. They are what would be called 
 in England scholarships or foundations, tenable by 
 the fortunate competitor for four years, provided he 
 passes all his examinations. They were originally 
 founded by the lovers of learning in past times, out 
 of gratitude for the education which they had re- 
 ceived at the University, and in order that others in 
 humble circumstances might be able to obtain that 
 summiim bomnn of every Scotchman, a university
 
 12 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 education. Many of them were founded by Highland 
 lairds for the benefit of those bearing their own 
 names ; others, such as the Seafield Bursaries, are in 
 the gift of certain people who may present them to 
 those w4iom they may consider the most deserving ; and 
 a number are annually competed for by all comers, 
 and decided entirely by scholarship. This is called 
 the Competition. These public bursaries, about 
 twenty in number, range in amount from £3 17s. 6d, 
 to £30 per annum, but each of them, by the terms of 
 the foundation, pays for the expenses of the college 
 classes, and leaves a little over for the purchase of 
 books. The number of all the various kinds of 
 bursaries, presentation or public, in these colleges is 
 very great — more than the half of our class, consisting 
 of ninety-four. It should also be mentioned that the 
 presentation bursars have the right of entering the 
 lists at this great annual gathering, and should they 
 be so fortunate as to gain a higher bursary than their 
 presentation one, they relinquish the latter, as they 
 are not allowed to retain two. 
 
 It will thus be seen that a number of young men 
 by this means are annually enabled to obtain a college 
 education w^ho would otherwise be debarred from it. 
 It was this system which generated and kept alive the 
 desire of looking forward to a university career 
 among the sons of the lower classes, and it speaks 
 volumes for the excellencies of this system when we 
 find that the whole of the Scotch wranglers at Cam- 
 bridge were bursars, and that the greater number of 
 our most illustrious Scotchmen, those who have left 
 their mark on the world, were indebted to a bursary 
 for their university education, and for their means of 
 subsistence when attending college. 
 
 It has been often said that you will nowhere find 
 so many or so good classical scholars as in the north-
 
 TRIBES AT SHILOH 13 
 
 eastern counties of Scotland. This has been caused 
 by the system pursued at the colleges, the influence 
 of the Grammar School of the principal city, particu- 
 larly that of its famous Rector, and the Bursary 
 Competitions at the commencement of each session. 
 The latter are what gave, and still continue to give, 
 the impulse to the parochial teaching of the North ; 
 and so important are they in the eyes of all, that they 
 are looked forward to with greater anxiety both by 
 teacher and scholar than the holidays. In fact, all 
 events of the year seem to date from this period — 
 the last Monday in October. Almost every master, 
 however insignificant, has his boy to send up, who 
 enters the list with his compeers, and by his own 
 unaided talents makes his mark among his fellows. 
 No one, except those who have lived in that part of 
 the country, can have any idea of the state of excite- 
 ment into which all classes of the communitj' are 
 thrown during the bursary week. All the town, for 
 the time being, devotes its attention to the list of the 
 successful bursars, and watches with jealous eye the 
 superiority of any other part of the country to its own 
 educational establishments, of which it is justly 
 proud. But it is not in the city alone that this ex- 
 citement prevails. In every part of the country from 
 which scholars have been sent up to the Competition — 
 and this may be said to be from every parish school 
 in the North — the posts are watched with great anxiety 
 for a week. At the end of that time news arrives of 
 success or defeat, sending the master and parents 
 into the seventh heaven of enjoyment or the deepest 
 pit of despair. After a little the excitement wears 
 off, and the master again applies himself to the task 
 of preparing another young man for the next Com- 
 petition. In truth, nothing seems to give those 
 teachers more real pleasure than to hear of the
 
 14 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 success of their pupils at this great annual gathering, 
 except, of course, the still higher honour of their 
 becoming senior wranglers. 
 
 On account of those Bursary Competitions being 
 keenly contested, every schoolmaster is on the look- 
 out for clever boys to prepare for them. Whenever 
 any such are found, if their parents are too poor to 
 pay for their education, the master invariably takes 
 them as free pupils, and when he has brought them 
 to a proper state of proficiency, sends them to college, 
 certain that they will gain a bursary sufficient to keep 
 them there. And it is very seldom that they are 
 mistaken, for the great proportion of those who used 
 to carry off the bursaries at our University was of 
 this class. When they return home during the 
 summer recess, they apply themselves to some 
 business, or find some private teaching, which helps 
 to recruit their purses and their libraries. The 
 libraries of their teachers are almost always at their 
 disposal, and there are very few in the counties we 
 have mentioned whose libraries are not full of the 
 finest editions of the classics, invariably without 
 notes, as they consider these beneath the dignity of 
 a scholar. 
 
 It is principally from the lower or working classes 
 that the best scholars are obtained. We have heard 
 schoolmasters repeatedly say that these were by far 
 the most diligent students, and that there was a 
 greater amount of work in "boys of this class than in 
 those of any other. They seem really to feel that 
 education is a boon, and that no opportunity should 
 be let slip of improving themselves. We have known 
 such students prepare themselves for the University 
 in two years, and carry off some of the highest 
 bursaries and honours there. It has also to be 
 remembered that most of those who did so were
 
 DARK OCTOBER 15 
 
 engaged during that period in working at some trade, 
 to which they would return during the summer 
 recess. But, after all, it is not surprising that such 
 men should carry off all the honours. Their lives 
 from the first have been a struggle, and hard work is 
 to them only their allotted portion in life. Study 
 that to one brought up in the middle and higher 
 classes of society would be accounted very hard, is 
 to them mere child's play; and often previous to 
 going to college they work much harder than the 
 great proportion of students do during their college 
 course. 
 
 As the last Monday in October drew near, I began 
 to feel still more anxious and to become very ner- 
 vous. The schoolmaster noting this, rallied me upon 
 it, and treated the whole matter as a mere nothing. 
 
 Tak' it easy, man. Dinna fash yersel' aboot a 
 thing that winna fash itsel' aboot you. Besides, the 
 great secret o' success in life is to be easy, to mak' 
 folk think ye're careless, to tak' things as they come, 
 an' nae to fash yersel' aboot them ava. Be a kin' o' 
 fatalist, an' believe that it's a' for the best. Fat 
 maun be maun be, an' we canna change it. Gin ye're 
 to get a bursary ye'll get ane, an' gin ye dinna, ye 
 maun jist come back again, an' we'll see if we canna 
 fettle ye up for the neest Competition." 
 
 " But it is so disheartening to be worsted in this 
 manner." 
 
 " Dishairtenin' ! Man, I've kent students that 
 hae gaen to the Competition for ten years, an' efter 
 a' got naething, an' I've kent ithers that hae gaen for 
 twal' years, an' cairred aff a high bursary. They 
 becam' sae weel kent that they were looket for 
 regularly as the day cam' roon'. They warna dis- 
 hairtent, an' foo sid ye? Gang in to win, an" there's 
 nae fear o' ye."
 
 16 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 I tried to take his advice, but found it was a very 
 easy matter to give one counsel but a very difficult 
 matter to follow it. 
 
 And so the days passed, and the Friday previous 
 to the eventful Monday came. Next morning we 
 were to start early and walk into the city. We had 
 been requested by the schoolmaster to call upon him 
 the evening before we left, to receive his final orders. 
 When we arrived there we found him sitting in his 
 room smoking a pipe as unconcerned as if no 
 momentous Monday was before us — no Monday big 
 with the fate of so many. 
 
 " Come in aboot an' tak' a seat, an' lat me say a 
 fyou words to ye afore ye start. Ye'll be up early 
 the morn, I'm thinkin'." 
 
 " About four o'clock, I suppose." 
 "Ay, weel, ye'll hae the day afore ye if ye get up 
 then. Bit tak' my advice an' dinna knock yersel' up. 
 It's a gran' thing that ye hae a day o' rest afore ye — 
 Sunday. Dinna look at a book, dinna think even 
 aboot the Competition on that day — that is, gin ye 
 can. Lat yer mind hae full rest, an' be sure an' 
 spend it weel. There niver wis ony gweed cam' o' 
 grindin' on a Sunday, or deein' onything on't that 
 ane sidna dee. It's a gran' thing to be fresh for 
 wark, an' to rise feelin' ye hae been refreshed an' 
 that ye could write a hunner sine errore versions. 
 Naebody can dee that that grinds on a Sunday, or 
 that spends the day as it oughtna to be spent. Gang 
 to the kirk twice, ay, three times, gin ye like. Ye'll 
 be far better there than stravaigin' aboot the streets 
 o' that hard steeny toon, or even in your lodgin's 
 thinkin' aboot the morn." 
 
 " I'll attend to this, and promise you not to do 
 anything I should not on it." 
 
 " An' noo a word or twa aboot ver wark. Dinna
 
 THE LEGION OF HONOUR 17 
 
 be in a hurry wi't. Tak' yer time, for there's lots o' 
 it gi'en ye; in my opinion far ower muckle, for it only 
 gars folk mak' errors. Read the version carefully 
 ower at first, try to get the scope o' the passage, an' 
 then set tae wi' a full determination to write a sine 
 errore ane. Dinna mak' fule errors gin ye can help 
 it, particularly at the beginnin'. Dinna try to mak' it 
 ower fine, for, atween you an' me, the professors 
 dinna ken fat a very fine phrase is. An' by a' means 
 be plain, an' see that ye lat them ken weel fat ye 
 mean." 
 
 " I will try my very best, you may be sure, and 
 will endeavour to follow out the directions you have 
 given me." 
 
 "An' noo, afore ye start, I'm gaun to gie ye 
 something to tak' wi' ye, an' I hope ye winna disgrace 
 it", and he turned to a side-table on which were a 
 number of books. From these he lifted two whose 
 forms I well knew, " Noo, this is my ' Riddle and 
 Arnold ', which was presented to me by my pupils 
 many years ago. Every year since it cam' into my 
 possession it has gaen to the Competition, an' every 
 year it has returned bearing on it the name of 
 another bursar. Look here, ye'll see them a' on the 
 first leaf, from the first that ever I had to the last. 
 That's a leaf I'm prood o', an', fat's mair, I'm nae 
 ashamed to say it. Noo, I'm gaun to gie it to you, 
 an' I hope ye winna be the first to return it to me 
 withoot gettin' yer name engraved anion' the ither 
 worthies that are to be seen there. Ye've as gweed 
 a chance as ony o" them, an' see that ye dinna fail 
 in the day o' battle." 
 
 " I really am afraid to take it, for were I so un- 
 fortunate as disgrace it, I would never forgive 
 myself." 
 
 " There ye are ! Aye loolun' at the gloomy side 
 3
 
 18 LIFE AT A NORTHEKxN UNIVERSITY 
 
 o' a'thing. Hoo aften hae I tel't ye to §ang up to 
 college wi' the full determination to cairry aff the 
 first bursary an' ye'll be sure to cairry aff someane 
 or ither. It's doonricht nonsense to blether awa' wi' 
 you, unless ye gie ower sic' nonsensical wyes o' 
 talkin'. There's nae sense in't, an', besides, it's the 
 very thing to ruin ye. Ye maun stop that." 
 
 " I only said, ' If I should fail '." 
 
 " Bit ye hae nae richt to say ony sic thing. I send 
 ye up to gain a bursary, an' nae to fail. I gie ye my 
 'Riddle and Arnold', an' expect that ye'll send it, nae 
 bring it back to me, an' that ye'll tell me to add your 
 name to the list o' those that are afore ye. I hope 
 ye winna be ashamed to appear amon' them." 
 
 "Ashamed! I should think not. I will be far 
 prouder of that than anything I know." 
 
 " Weel, jist gang ye awa', an' lat's see fat ye can 
 dee. Nae man can dee mair than his best, an' gin ye 
 dee that I'll be satisfied. Be sure an' sen' oot a copy 
 o' yer version an' the English by the first post, an' 
 lat me ken foo mony there are o' ye. I'll expec' the 
 Latin an' Greek the second day, an' min' the conjug- 
 ations o' yer Greek verbs, particularly the second 
 aorists. Good-bye ! A pleasant journey to ye, an' 
 a high bursary ! " 
 
 And so I was sent forth, armed with his " Riddle 
 and Arnold ", to do battle for myself at college. It 
 was my first entrance into life, and I was rather 
 nervous, feeling that I should like to know something 
 about it, or wishing to have someone to tell me how 
 to act. This, however, could not be obtained, and so 
 I went home for the purpose of preparing my luggage 
 for the morrow, and packing my trunk with every- 
 thing needful. I went soon to bed, as I knew I 
 would have to rise early next morning. My parents 
 said little that evening, but I saw that they were
 
 LEAVING HOME 19 
 
 thinking much about me, and feeHng all the pangs of 
 the separation. By four o'clock I was astir, awakened 
 by my kind mother, and sat down to a comfortable 
 breakfast. My heart, however, was too full to eat, 
 and the good things before me lay untasted, though 
 I was pressed most affectionately to partake of them. 
 With much exertion I managed to take what satisfied 
 my parents, and after my mother had packed up 
 something for me to eat by the way, a movement was 
 made for departure. This was the time I had most 
 dreaded. I was sure I would break down, that my 
 mother would be so affected as not to be able to 
 contain her feelings, and that my father would also 
 give way. While we were all standing irresolute I 
 heard him say, " Let us pray for our boy before we 
 send him forth into the world", when the whole of us 
 knelt down, and our dear father poured forth an 
 earnest and fervent prayer, begging that his God, 
 who had led him hitherto, would watch over his son 
 now about to enter into the battle of life and come 
 into contact with the temptations of the world. Not 
 one of us had drj^ eyes when we rose from our knees, 
 but yet this had the effect of removing the awkward- 
 ness that formerly existed. And then came the final 
 parting — the kiss from my dear mother, the warm 
 shake of the hand from my father, and his heartfelt 
 " God bless you " — and then I was alone upon the 
 road in the dim light of an October morning. 
 
 On, on I went, finding the miles at first long, but 
 as my limbs relaxed and I began to think of the 
 future, I pushed on with greater vigour. By the 
 time the sun had fully risen, I had proceeded a con- 
 siderable distance on my journey, and was by no 
 means tired. As the day progressed the miles 
 became longer, and I began to think with anxiety 
 concerning the end. Many an idea ran through my
 
 20 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 head in my solitary journey, many a Latin and Greek 
 verb did I conjugate and puzzle my brains with, 
 noting down anything about which I was not quite 
 certain. After refreshing myself at an inn standing 
 about half-way, I again set out, and after a few hours' 
 more travelling began to note the various indications 
 of the proximity of a large town. Vehicles became 
 more common, foot passengers more numerous, and 
 all the various signs which mark the roads leading to 
 the great resorts of men began to be visible. O, 
 how weary and long were those last few miles, and 
 how I wished that some kind-hearted driver would 
 invite me to a seat beside him. But no such good 
 fortune befell me, and I had to drag along the weary 
 length of those miles that seemed lengthening out to 
 an indefinite extent. As the sun was beginning to 
 descend in the heavens, the grey turrets of that old 
 seat of learning that had been surrounded in my 
 mind with a halo of sanctity, began to peep from 
 among the trees, and instilled into me a feeling of 
 determination and an intense longing to be there. 
 An elasticity of step returned to me, and I seemed 
 not to feel the fatigue of the past journey. Past it I 
 went, gazing upon its time-honoured pile with the 
 feelings of a devotee, and only turning from it when 
 the more busy life around me compelled my attention. 
 Along the stony streets of the town so anxiously 
 looked for did I tramp, and soon finding hospitable 
 quarters, rested at last from my self-imposed journey.
 
 CHAPTER III 
 
 There are bells in my ear that are ringing, 
 
 First bells that I ever heard ring ; 
 Never tune of the mirthfulest singing 
 
 Can now such a melody bring. 
 The first winds of winter are shaking 
 
 The last hectic leaf on the tree, 
 Down the Spital the red gowns are taking 
 
 Their jocund way careless and free ; 
 Is it fancy deceives. 
 Or I hear in the leaves 
 
 Their pattering feet in their glee ? 
 
 — Alma Mater, XVI, 1, 
 
 ''October'' (W. K. L.). 
 
 The eventful Monday came, and after a restless 
 night I rose early and had a long walk. While 
 discussing breakfast, my room door was thrown 
 open, and in rushed my cousin, Frank Jamieson. 
 His merry face and jolly laugh was indeed a great 
 contrast to mine, and for a time drove away that 
 feeling which was weighing me down. He was the 
 son of a United Presbyterian minister, very well-to- 
 do, had been two sessions at college, and was coming 
 up for his third. 
 
 Hullo, old boy, how are you? Down in the 
 mouth on account of this abominable Competition. 
 Never mind it. Take life easy ; that is my motto." 
 " But I can't, and only wish I could." 
 " Ha, old boy, wait till you have passed as many 
 examinations as I have done, and you'll think precious 
 little of your paltry Competition. It's mere child's 
 play to what you will yet have to do."
 
 22 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " All I can say is, that it is not child's play to me 
 just now, for I can assure you I feel quite nervous." 
 
 " Nervous, be hanged ! Eat a hearty breakfast, 
 take a jolly smoke, and walk to college with the full 
 determination of carrying off the first bursary, and 
 you'll be sure to do it. That's what I did." 
 
 " But you did not get the first, you know." 
 
 " Not exactly the first, but the third. If it had 
 not been for an abominable medie that escaped my 
 eye I would have been first. They're abominable 
 things medies, but maxies are far worse." 
 
 " I would be quite content to make a medie, if I 
 were to be so fortunate as you." 
 
 "Well, come along. Now that you have finished 
 your breakfast, take up your pipe, and let us have a 
 jolly good smoke, and talk about auld lang syne. It 
 will do you good, and steady your nerves." 
 
 "Thank you, but I cannot smoke this morning. 
 It goes completely against my grain. I feel as if it 
 would be impossible for me to put a pipe into my 
 mouth." 
 
 " Go to blazes ! Sit down there and fill your 
 pipe. Here is some of the finest Latakia you ever 
 smoked — enough to put the worst tempered fellow in 
 the world into raptures. Sit down, man, I say." 
 
 " Really, I could not do it. In fact, I would rather 
 be moving. It is about time for us to be going to 
 college." 
 
 " Two hours after this will be in plenty of time. 
 Just take it easy, and let a fellow have his smoke if 
 you won't have one. It is a great mistake, though, 
 on your part, for a good, delightful smoke, such as I 
 am now enjoying, would calm your excited nerves 
 and make you feel another man. Try it, man." 
 
 " No, thank you. Remember that I am not 
 accustomed to these things so much as you, and
 
 TERTIAN DIGNITY 23 
 
 therefore cannot take them so coolly. I suppose all 
 the books I can take are my dictionary." 
 
 " Yes, and some paper to write upon. Upon my 
 word, if I had anything to do with it I would debar 
 the dictionary also. It as often leads you wrong as 
 right. But are you really determined to go? I 
 assure you you are fully two hours too soon, for they 
 do not hurry on such occasions. Very well, if you 
 are determined to go and stand in the cold, and in- 
 capacitate yourself for real work, why, do so ! I'm 
 your man to walk the road to lead you to your future 
 ' Alma Mater '." 
 
 " I do really hope she will be, for you know I 
 cannot go to college unless I get a bursary." 
 
 " Of course you'll get a bursary ", said he, as we 
 walked down the stairs and proceeded along the 
 street. " Of course you'll get a bursary. Go in 
 determined to have one, and there is no fear. Books 
 heavy, eh? " inquired he, seeing that I could not very 
 well manage to keep my books under my arm. " I'm 
 sorry I can't assist you, for it is beneath the dignity 
 of a Tertian to be seen carrying a dictionary under 
 his arm. I will be happy to pocket your paper, if it 
 will do any good." 
 
 "Thank you for your generous offer, but since I 
 am able to carry the dictionaries, I think I'll manage 
 the paper. I should be sorry in any way to lower the 
 dignity of a Tertian." 
 
 " Come now, none of your nonsense. You don't 
 know yet what it is to be three steps up the ladder, 
 and what a feeling of dignity it adds to you." 
 
 " I don't know, but I see it." 
 
 "Come now, no chaff. Hand me that 'Arnold', 
 will you ? I'll carry it, though the whole of my class- 
 fellows laugh at me." 
 
 " There is not the slightest occasion for it, as I
 
 24 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 can manage them quite easily. I've carried far more 
 than these many a day." 
 
 Thus chatted we as we wended our way along the 
 stony streets to our future "Alma Mater". It was a 
 frosty morning, I can remember well, ay, as well as 
 if it had only been last Monday, and as I left the city 
 behind me and came to the less thickly peopled 
 part between the two towns, the rich October hue of 
 the morning and the bracing air began to affect me, 
 and to make a wonderful change on my spirits. In 
 the distance sparkled the dark blue sea, and when I 
 reached the top of the hill and caught a glimpse of it, 
 I felt the smell of home, and had a strong desire to 
 do my best for the sake of those that were there. 
 Then came the downhill walk past the small houses 
 alive with occupants peering out at the raw recruits 
 who were wending their way to the University. Down, 
 down the incline, on, on to the spot w^here trees with 
 leafless branches were to be seen, and then there 
 burst upon me the lichen-covered Crown, that time- 
 worn edifice which was ever afterwards to be 
 associated in my mind with the happiest, sunniest, 
 and pleasantest days of my life. There it stood with 
 its portals wide open to receive me, and welcoming 
 us all beneath its noble form. 
 
 By the time we arrived, the quadrangle was 
 dotted with groups of students. The competitors for 
 the day were easily recognised by the books under 
 their arms and the rolls of paper in their hands. 
 With eager eyes I looked around to note how many 
 there were there. Gradually the numbers increased, 
 until the whole square was comfortably filled with 
 students in all stages of advancement. By and by 
 a sort of separation seemed naturally to take place, 
 the new students standing in groups, and looking 
 rather awkward, while those of former years formed
 
 UNDER THE COLONNADES 25 
 
 themselves into companies of threes, fours, and fives, 
 who, linked in each other's arms, paraded the quad- 
 rangle like so many rank and file, 
 
 O, those marches in that quadrangle and under 
 those colonnades (now no more), how many tender 
 memories do they recall ! How we did envy the 
 fortunate many who walked there arm-in-arm, and 
 into whose company we were not permitted to enter 
 because we had not passed the opprobrious period 
 of Bageantdom ! And how proud did we feel when 
 first we returned to our old "Alma Mater", and paced 
 her square with the high hopes of a new-born 
 Semi ! How we did look down upon our more 
 tender brethren, upon their greenness to the ways of 
 college life, and their awkward blunders ! How 
 many tender memories do these recall of those 
 whose arms we used to clasp, but whom now no 
 more we will see on earth, no more hear the ringing 
 change of their laughter! O, how many tender 
 emotions do all these recall! As I bury my face in 
 my hands, and by fancy's help conjure up the various 
 groups that paced the foot-worn colonnades or the 
 gravelled quadrangle, I could almost weep with the 
 sad memories which it stirs. 
 
 My cousin was right when he said that I would 
 have to wait some time. Fully two hours were spent 
 by me standing in the cold and feeling anything but 
 comfortable. The monotony was relieved by meet- 
 ing various old friends, and conversing with them 
 regarding the probable style of the version. By 
 some of these I was introduced to others, and more 
 than once I was confidently informed that the party 
 to whom I was introduced was certain to be first 
 bursar. At first I looked at him with an interest 
 which I cannot express, but when this had happened 
 to me once or twice, I ceased to consider them
 
 26 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 rarae aves, assured that all could not obtain this 
 much-coveted honour. 
 
 But suddenly a loud cheer arose from a group 
 that had been standing near the entrance to the 
 quadrangle. This attracting the attention of all, a 
 rush was made to the quarter. Owing, however, to 
 the greatness of the crowd it was impossible to make 
 out what it was, but as I was returning to my former 
 position the crowd opened and showed me a little 
 fellow, a mere boy, staggering along under the weight 
 of a huge "Ainsworth" Dictionary, of the old style, 
 which was strapped to his back. He did not seem 
 by any means to relish this demonstrative way of 
 receiving him, for he struggled manfully to push his 
 way through the crowd and convey himself to some 
 corner where he could deposit his huge tome. It 
 was with great difficulty that this could be done, for 
 the students kept crowding around him, cheering 
 and crying out, " Well done, young 'un ! " " Hope 
 ye'Il be first bursar! " "You're a brick, and deserve 
 a bursary ! " and such-like expressions. The poor 
 little fellow seemed quite overcome, and was glad 
 when a diversion of another kind withdrew their 
 attention from him, 
 
 " Three cheers for Geordie ! Three cheers for 
 Geordie ! " was the next cry. I at once jumped at 
 the conclusion that some favourite student had made 
 his appearance, or that one of the minor officials 
 of the college was the object of this demonstration. 
 On and on went the cheering, without, to me, any 
 cause, but gradually above the sea of heads that 
 swayed backwards and forwards I could distinguish 
 a hat bowing to the enthusiastic cheerers. Happen- 
 ing to come near my cousin, I inquired what was the 
 matter. 
 
 " O, only Geordie! They are giving him a cheer.
 
 PROFESSORIAL ALIASES 27 
 
 Precious few of them will do that six months after 
 this." 
 
 "But who is 'Geordie'?" 
 
 " O, I forgot that you were a ' Verdant Green ' in 
 these matters — that you are, in fact, new to the 
 trade. To the initiated, 'Geordie' means George 
 Ferguson, alias the Professor of Humanity, who has 
 kindly consented to prepare a version for your 
 perusal to-day." 
 
 " I see. I must say it is rather an irreverent way 
 to speak of one's professor. I thought you would 
 have had more respect for them than that." 
 
 " Well, as to respect, that is entirely as they take 
 it. We do not mean any disrespect to them ; indeed, 
 quite the opposite. It is only a familiar way by 
 which we make them known to one another. Of 
 course we, who are acquainted with the mj-steries of 
 the college, are slightly privileged in this respect", 
 concluded he with a lofty air. 
 
 " I suppose so, if one is to judge by the airs you 
 assume. Are there any of the rest of them that are 
 honoured in this manner?" 
 
 "O yes, there's 'Davie', for instance, or, as he 
 is more generally called, 'The Fiend', because he 
 is such a Tartar when he begins upon you. And 
 then comes 'Fifie', which, by the way, is a term 
 of endearment, for he is beloved by all of us, 
 though I must say we do not show it by our conduct 
 in the classroom. And then there is ' Habe', who 
 stuck at the first word of his Latin prayer, which he 
 had forgot to put in the crown of his hat, and was 
 ever afterwards honoured with it. Another, who is 
 continually talking about the Doric, we have dubbed 
 'Dorian', and the short cuts which he invariably 
 takes to college (for he is always late) go by the 
 classical name of the ' Dorica Via'. Another of the
 
 28 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 professors, who was so unfortunate as to break one 
 of his legs, or, as he facetiously called it, ' lost one 
 of his understandings', rejoices in the name of 
 ' Dot-and-carry-one'. There are many others, 'too 
 numerous to mention', as the bills say, but which 
 you, having now arrived at this temple of learning, 
 will soon learn for yourself." 
 
 Just so. You seem on very free-and-easy terms 
 with your professors." 
 
 That's the advantage of being two or three 
 years at college", replied he very proudly, looking 
 dow^n upon me from his fancied height as if I were 
 one whose education had to a certain extent been 
 neglected and who had yet a great deal to learn. I 
 was somewhat piqued at this, particularly at the tone 
 of pity he assumed, as on all former occasions — in 
 games or in company — I had kept my own, ay, often 
 beaten him, and therefore I did not see what right 
 he had thus to lord it over me. 
 
 But my thoughts were interrupted by my cousin 
 wheeling round and crying out, " Hullo, John, how 
 are you ? Glad to see us back again, eh ? " 
 
 "Yes, rather", replied he in a queer tone, as he 
 shuffled past us with light footsteps. 
 
 " Is that another of the professors?" inquired I. 
 
 "Well, you are a jolly green one and no mistake. 
 ' Where ignorance is bliss 'tis folly to be wise ' — as 
 Geordie says. Now let me inform you, in the most 
 delicate manner possible, that the said gentleman 
 who passed us, and whom I addressed in such a 
 familiar manner as to lead you to suppose that he 
 was one of the professors, was John, the porter, 
 alias the janitor, alias the mace-bearer on grand 
 occasions, and whose life we tease during the 
 session." 
 
 As soon as he had finished, he turned on his heel
 
 ALISTER APPEARS 29 
 
 and departed. Perhaps it was as well for both that 
 he did so, for by this time my anger was almost at 
 the bursting, and I might have said something that 
 I would have regretted. I also noted that the same 
 sort of airs were assumed by almost all the old 
 students, and that they looked down upon us " green- 
 horns" with a pity bordering on contempt, which 
 was very hard to bear. Perhaps there may have 
 been some reason for it, though I am very much 
 inclined to think that the greater part of it was due 
 to pride and vainglory. It must be confessed that 
 many of us were indeed raw recruits, utterly un- 
 acquainted with the ways and habits of this small 
 circle, which seemed to be all the world to the more 
 advanced students; but in this we were only like our 
 persecutors a few years before, though they were 
 very much inclined to ignore the fact of their ever 
 having enjoyed the greenness of Bageantdom. 
 
 " There he comes ! There he comes ! " was the 
 next cry we heard rising far above the din of voices 
 and the clatter of many feet. Of course we pressed 
 forward to see what was the matter, and standing 
 in the midst of an excited group was a rough, raw- 
 boned Highlandman, almost as he was when he 
 roamed his mountain side. For a little he seemed 
 to relish the inquiries that were made regarding his 
 health, but when some, more impertinent than others, 
 put rather personal questions to him, and inquired 
 regarding his tailor and hatter, the poor man seemed 
 to feel his position keenly, and endeavoured to escape 
 from his tormentors. But this was not so easy a 
 task. 
 
 " Hoo's the wife, Alister?" cried one. 
 
 " Foo's the bairns?" cried another. 
 
 " Is this the saxteenth time ye've come to the 
 Competition, Alister?"
 
 30 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " Are ye gaun to cairry aff the first bursary, or 
 are ye gaun back again to yer Heelan' clachan ? " 
 
 To all these inquiries the poor fellow deigned no 
 reply, but tried to force his way through the crowd. 
 Very little regard was paid to his feelings, though it 
 was evident to all, from the compressed lip, the 
 glancing eye, and the heightened colour, that he was 
 doing his utmost to control them. No outward sign 
 was given of the fire smouldering within, unless the 
 sudden " flooring " of one little impudent fellow who 
 had been particularly demonstrative in his behaviour. 
 Like a flash of lightning the Celt's arm went forth, 
 sending his tormentor to the ground and completely 
 silencing him, while not a muscle of his face 
 changed, and the surrounding crowd scarcely 
 noticed the act. Hustled here and there, forced 
 back when he attempted to press forward, and 
 annoyed by questions the most impertinent and 
 teasing, the poor fellow would have come very badly 
 off had not some of the better disposed and more 
 feeling-hearted of the students cried out "Shame", 
 and ordered the rest to desist. This, after a little, 
 they did, and the Highlandman, making his way 
 through the crowd, found a place of refuge in a 
 corner of the quadrangle. 
 
 I afterwards found that this was Alister Mac- 
 alister, one of the unfortunate few who, having been 
 unsuccessful for a number of years, had still per- 
 sisted in coming up to the Competition, until his face 
 and figure had become so well known that he was 
 looked for as regularly as the day came round, and 
 invariably received the same rough treatment. Poor 
 fellow, his was a hope that hoped beyond hope, and 
 that no disappointment, no contumely, could daunt 
 or overcome, and which in the end received its 
 reward.
 
 THE NORTHERN DERBY 31 
 
 And so the time passed till the order came for us 
 to enter. Like so many wild animals we rushed in, 
 forcing our way up the stone staircase, and swaying 
 backwards and forwards to such an extent as almost 
 to smash the banister, which creaked and groaned 
 with the extreme pressure. After a considerable 
 and annoying stoppage at the door, which was only 
 opened as far as would admit one at a time, I 
 managed to force mj' way inside, and found myself 
 in a hall hung with portraits of those men who had 
 shed a halo of glory around the old place. I seated 
 myself at one of the three tables that ran the length 
 of the room, and which were soon filled with a crowd 
 of eager faces. Opposite me were the little fellow 
 with the huge "Ainsworth", and the Highlandman, 
 Alacalister. Gazing around the large room I noted 
 that my competitors consisted of raw-boned, red- 
 haired Highlandmen, fresh from their native hills, 
 with all their rusticity about them, which the four 
 years at college would be unable to rub off. All the 
 northern counties had sent their quota to swell the 
 number, and even the Orkney and Shetland Islands 
 were represented, for the descendant of the ancient 
 Norseman, with his flaxen hair and deep blue eyes, 
 was there to prove his courage in a contest much 
 more intellectual than that of his ancestors. Many 
 rosy-faced young fellows were also to be seen, who 
 had left their country occupations for a little, and 
 who, if unsuccessful, would return to them, and work 
 in their leisure hours at their favourite classics until 
 another Competition came round. Here and there 
 were to be seen a few rather better dressed than the 
 rest, unmistakably showing their town life and the 
 natural polish which it gave them ; whilst among 
 the crowd the eye rested on many a studious, thin, 
 cadaverous, hard-worked face, which made you look
 
 32 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 again and feel in your heart that there sat a bursar. 
 A more motley crowd as respects age, dress, and 
 features could scarcely be found anywhere, and yet 
 over all there was an intellectual, manly look, a look 
 of innocence and unacquaintance with the low ways 
 of the world, which contrasts favourably in the 
 Derby of the North with its low-typed, swindling 
 namesake of the South. 
 
 After having been seated for some time, one of 
 the professors opened the Senatus door, which was 
 at one end of the hall, and entered with a bundle of 
 papers in his hand. Another and another followed, 
 when instantly there was a flutter among the crowd 
 that sat at the tables, and someone beginning to 
 " rufF", it was taken up by the rest, and a deafening 
 noise ensued. In vain the gowned professors held 
 up their hands, in vain they stopped the distribution 
 of the versions and implored silence : silence could 
 not be obtained until the whole of the copies had 
 been distributed, and then the uproar died away in 
 muttered and intermittent growls. Then there was 
 a hush, and everyone set himself to examine the 
 version. 
 
 O, the anxiety of those few minutes when one has 
 really before him the version thought and dreamed 
 of for months — when he looks over it for the first 
 time, and inspects it narrowly to discover the lurking 
 traps ! Let him who has done this try to describe 
 his feelings, and we are certain he will signally fail. 
 It is a moment of awful suspense, a moment upon 
 which the future of many a life hangs. By and by 
 the version is carefully read, and with a sigh the 
 unconscious bit of paper is laid before him, and he 
 begins to think what he will do. 
 
 But there is no time for delay. Out comes the 
 paper, pens, and ink, and, spreading out a clean sheet,
 
 PUFFS AND SIGHS 33 
 
 I make a commencement. How anxiously do I 
 watch lest some unfortunate maxie should escape 
 my notice, and how carefully do I scan the dictionary 
 for any elegant phrase which might help me on ! 
 Here and there a clause will come in my way which 
 puzzles me and makes me rack my brain to find it 
 out. And then, that subjunctive mood! How its 
 tortuous peculiarities do make me sigh and wish for 
 the sight of a certain phrase book which would 
 remove my difficulty. But no such thing can be got, 
 and so I must do the best I can. 
 
 The faces of those around me were indeed a 
 study. Some looked with greedy and anxious eyes 
 at the paper, and, finding no relief there, would fix 
 them on the ceiling or on the faces of some of the 
 worthies that decorated the walls, but, discovering 
 no inspiration in their steady gaze, would scratch 
 their heads, and finally thrust their hands deep into 
 their trousers pockets. Others were proceeding 
 very coolly, as if it were a matter of no moment to 
 them, and it was quite clear to an onlooker that their 
 future course in life did not depend upon the sort of 
 version they were writing. Some — such as High- 
 land Alister — were in a perfect fiurry of excitement, 
 and gave vent to loud puffs and sighs. At one 
 moment he would make a furious onset upon his 
 dictionary, and range through it as if mad, but not 
 finding the object of his search, he would pause and 
 scowl upon the paper as if it was the real cause of 
 his excitement. Then, seizing his shaggy hair in his 
 huge paw, he would puff and blow as before, attract- 
 ing the attention of all who were around him, and 
 creating many a laugh. In this matter he was quite 
 a contrast to his neighbour, the little fellow with the 
 huge "Ainsworth", who went quietly on his way, 
 paying little attention to those around him. 
 4
 
 34 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Occasionally this serious work would be inter- 
 rupted by the clatter of feet, particularly when any 
 of the professors made their appearance. One in 
 particular created a great deal of merriment by his 
 jokes and appearance, and I afterwards learned that 
 this was the one whom my cousin had designated by 
 the name of " Dot-and-carry-one ". He paid little 
 attention to the clatter, but during a temporary lull 
 looked round and gave vent to some of his jokes. 
 " All right, gentlemen. Remember the remark, 
 ' Empty barrels make the most sound ' " ; and, as the 
 loud laughter rang through the room, he would 
 continue, "'The silly goose cackles the most' — so 
 cackle away ". 
 
 And so the day wore on, and the shades of 
 evening began to fall. One after another had gone 
 up with his paper, and deposited it in a box placed 
 there for the purpose. I, however, was very unwill- 
 ing to part with mine, and again and again looked it 
 over, testing the truth of my translation by repeated 
 applications to my dictionary. As darkness came on, 
 the janitor entered, and placed candles, stuck in 
 lumps of clay, upon the tables. As each received his 
 original candlestick there would be a "ruff "and a 
 laugh, and a quick resumption of work, for almost all 
 those now left were anxious to do their best, and 
 knew that upon their efforts their future course in 
 life mainly depended. But this could not last for 
 ever, and as six o'clock drew near I rose from my 
 seat and walked towards the box. With trembling 
 hands I put my version into the opening, and when 
 half-way down felt greatly inclined to take it out 
 again and change a phrase. Luckily for myself, I was 
 prevented from doing so by a sense of shame, and so 
 the paper fell into the box, and my fate was sealed 
 for a day.
 
 TO BE OR NOT TO BE? 35 
 
 On my way home I racked my brains concerning 
 certain peculiarities which had cost me a great deal 
 of trouble during the day. Alternate hope and fear 
 took possession of my breast as certain phrases 
 bearing on the vexed points occurred to me. Nor 
 did I dare to settle the matter at once by handing 
 my version to some of those who were quite willing 
 and able to look it over, and who were waiting for 
 the purpose, but hurried home, anxious to satisfy 
 myself, and in the solitude of my own room spread 
 out the copy before me. After an hour's careful 
 perusal and consultation of various authorities on 
 the subject, I came to the conclusion that I had 
 made an average version, and fortunately escaped 
 making any glaring maxies. My opinion in this 
 matter was confirmed by my cousin, who dropped in 
 to see how I got on, and who, in his patronizing way, 
 declared I stood a very good chance after all of 
 being a Bageant. 
 
 Another day was before me, on which I had to 
 translate a piece of Latin and Greek, answering 
 questions on the latter, and conjugating the most 
 difficult verbs. As it partook very much of the 
 nature of the former, I need not describe it in detail, 
 but simply state that, as far as I could judge, I 
 managed to make a very creditable appearance, and 
 felt that, on the whole, I had written exercises of 
 which I needed not to be ashamed. 
 
 And then, the excitement being over, came the 
 weary waiting, the long days spent in thinking over 
 my probable chance of success. Wednesday and 
 Thursday thus passed, and then Friday — the eventful 
 Friday, big with the fate of many — arrived, which 
 was to decide my chance of college life — at least for 
 a year.
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 
 One crowded hour of glorious life 
 Is worth an age without a name. 
 
 —Scott : " Old Mortality ", XXXIV. 
 
 Friday came at last, and with it hopes and fears 
 that almost made one distracted. How it emanated 
 I know not, but the report became general that the 
 list of successful competitors would be announced at 
 twelve o'clock. Accordingly, about that hour great 
 numbers were to be seen wending their way towards 
 the old college, and soon the large quadrangle began 
 gradually to be filled with the expectant bursars and 
 their friends. Very few of the old students were to 
 be seen, owing to the fact of the greater number 
 being engaged at that time in passing the entrance 
 examinations. The raw recruits formed themselves 
 into groups, and discussed the different peculiarities 
 in the various papers we had written, or, arm-in- 
 arm, paraded the quadrangle and colonnades. 
 Among their number might be seen some who had 
 not been present on the former occasions, and whose 
 anxious faces showed that they took a deep interest 
 in the matter. These were the parents of some of 
 the competitors — ministers in threadbare coats, and 
 with slender incomes ; schoolmasters, shabbier than 
 even the most shabby-genteel ; working men in com- 
 mon attire, or dressed for the occasion ; farmers in 
 rough, coarse clothes, and faces wearing anything 
 but their usual joviality; and ancient representatives
 
 HOPE DEFERRED 37 
 
 of the Celts who had taken part in the battles of 
 Monday and Tuesday. And there were others also, 
 though unseen, who were not less felt, for, far away 
 in the homes of many of those that paced the college 
 walks, there were anxious and fervent prayers rising 
 from parent lips that God would crown their young 
 one's efforts with success, and place him among the 
 fortunate few. But as all could not be successful, 
 to many there would be disappointment, the crush- 
 ing for ever of hopes long cherished in the breast, 
 the final renunciation of what had been their life's 
 dream — a liberal or college education — the dull, 
 weary journey home, and the tender sympathy of 
 friends far harder to bear than open insult. All, 
 and more than all, this takes place every year at the 
 close of this grand contest of the North, only that 
 the Scotchman — never demonstrative — does not 
 trumpet it out before the world. The victor takes 
 his place quietly in his class, and performs his duty 
 with an eye to the prizes at the end of the session ; 
 whilst the vanquished retires without a murmur into 
 private life, and perhaps never more emerges, though 
 others, nothing daunted and by no means despairing, 
 toil on with greater vigour than before, hoping for a 
 more favourable issue to their efforts at the close of 
 the next Competition. 
 
 Spite of the various expedients resorted to by us, 
 the time hung heavily on our hands, and our anxious 
 hearts grew sick of the suspense, longing for a 
 settlement one way or other. True, true it is in a 
 matter like this, that " hope deferred maketh the 
 heart sick". 
 
 After two hours had been thus spent, a com- 
 motion was noticed in the direction of the public hall, 
 and a rush was immediately made towards it. After 
 a good deal of rough usage I managed to get a seat
 
 38 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 at the farthest end of the hall, and in an elevated 
 position, from which I was able to look around me. 
 The room was crammed almost to sufFocation, and 
 as the dust rose in clouds from the continual 
 " ruffing " and " scraping " of such a number, the 
 atmosphere was soon not of the purest. A loud 
 whistle piercing your ears would ring out, causing a 
 momentary silence ; while the head of someone that 
 appeared particularly prominent above the rest 
 would be assailed by a volley of peas, not particu- 
 larly pleasant to the object of those in the vicinity. 
 In one corner you would be startled by the barking 
 of a dog, in another by the crowing of a cock, both 
 imitated so closely that you could hardly doubt but 
 that some of these creatures had been surreptitiously 
 introduced into the room. 
 
 Suddenly a cheer was raised by those near the 
 door, and taken up by all who were in the room. 
 All eyes were fixed upon the entrance, when, to the 
 excited imaginations, there appeared the form of the 
 Janitor, robed in a faded gown, and carrying a high 
 silver mace on his arm. He seemed extremely 
 proud of his position at the head of the procession, 
 and carried his head so high as to excite the ire of 
 some of the evil disposed, who, with a trueness of 
 aim quite remarkable, and worthy of William Tell, 
 shot a pea right against his nasal organ, from which 
 it was seen sharply to bound, leaving behind it a 
 little red mark. Suddenly John ducked his head, 
 carefully and quietly rubbed his proboscis, and 
 passed rather hurriedly along the way that had been 
 partially cleared for him. In his train came one of 
 the professors leading a very old man whose steps 
 were tottering, and whose sightless balls rolled 
 about in his head. After these came the rest of the 
 professors, who took their seats on a raised bench
 
 Professor Frbderick Fuller. 
 
 Professor I)a\ii) 'I'ho.msox.
 
 "GEORGE" CLAIMS TO SAY A WORD 39 
 
 erected for the purpose, the old man being placed in 
 the centre. While a prayer was being offered up by 
 one of the Divinity professors, I watched the face of 
 the old Principal, which twitched and moved in a 
 most extraordinary manner. His appearance was 
 altogether striking, for his long, white locks fell down 
 in clusters upon his shoulders, and on his head was 
 a small skull cap, which gave him a strange and 
 antique appearance, recalling the figures of some of 
 those famous scholars of medieval times. After 
 the prayer, " George " claimed to be allowed to make 
 a few remarks regarding the exercises which had 
 been handed in, characterizing them as better than 
 usual, and a credit to the majority of the com- 
 petitors — a piece of information which none seemed 
 to care about, if one was to judge from the un- 
 mistakable signs of disapprobation which were 
 manifested during the time he was speaking. As 
 soon as he had finished, the Secretary or Vice- 
 Principal rose and said he would now have the 
 pleasure of announcing the list of the successful 
 competitors at the Bursary Competition. "The first 
 bursary, of the annual value of £30, has been gained 
 by" — and he whispered the name into the ear of the 
 Principal, who, after a great deal of twitching and 
 manting, roared out in a voice that surprised us all 
 — "James Plufferson ! " All eyes were turned to 
 every corner of the room to see the fortunate 
 gentleman, when they were arrested by a remark 
 from the Secretary to the following effect — "The 
 gentleman's name is James Paterson "'. Again all 
 eyes glanced round the room, and, seeing a com- 
 motion in one of the corners, became fixed there, 
 and on the crowd opening I was very much surprised 
 to see a little fellow step forward — none other than 
 the hero of the " Ainsworth " Dictionary. When-
 
 40 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 ever the students became aware that it was he, a 
 deafening shout arose which shook the building, and 
 evidently disturbed the equanimity of the conquering 
 hero. After conversing with the Professor for some 
 time, he was ordered to stand to one side until the 
 rest were announced. The second seemed well 
 known and a favourite, if one might judge from the 
 shouts and remarks made when his name was 
 declared. He, after a similar colloquy, took his 
 place beside the first bursar, after which the third 
 was announced, who evidently came from the 
 country, and was unknown, for little greeting was 
 accorded him. Then came a name that seemed 
 strangely familiar to me, but which at the time I 
 appeared entirely to have forgotten. In an instant, 
 however, it dawned upon me that it was my own, 
 and scarce knowing what I did, 1 rose and mechani- 
 cally walked up to the Principal. There I was 
 informed that I was the fortunate winner of a 
 bursary of the annual value of £18 10s., and would I 
 accept of it? Of course I said I would, and was 
 told to take my place beside the others. Name after 
 name was called, but I did not seem to hear them 
 distinctly, or heard them in a dream, for my mind 
 was in such a state of excitement that I really did 
 not know what was going on around me. The 
 feeling of success was so sudden and unexpected 
 that I felt as if I would choke, and trembled so 
 violently that my next neighbour asked if I was ill. 
 Then, when all was over, and we had given in our 
 names, birthplaces, and parties under whom we had 
 studied, the congratulations of our friends outside 
 became the pleasant awakening from the lethargic 
 state into which the unexpected news had thrown 
 us. Our companions were so demonstrative in 
 their manner of showing their appreciation of the
 
 "AFTER THE BALL IS OVER" 41 
 
 success of the first bursar that, despite his protests 
 and earnest appeals, they raised the httle fellow 
 shoulder high, and, carrying him through the streets 
 of the town, deposited him with three cheers at his 
 own door. 
 
 When I gained the solitude of my own room I 
 could hardly bring myself to believe that the last 
 hour was a reality and not a pleasant dream. I had 
 gained a bursary far beyond my most sanguine ex- 
 pectations, such as I had never even dreamt of, and 
 I was now in a position to remain unassisted at that 
 fountain of learning for which I had so long hungered 
 and thirsted. I sat in dreamy joyance, unable fully 
 to realise it. But I was soon roused from my reverie 
 by a well-known voice. 
 
 " Hurrah ! Well done, old boy ! Glad to find you 
 are in the bursary list, and so far up too. I told you 
 there was nothing like going in to win, and not caring 
 a fig for anything. If you had smoked that pipe with 
 me, you would most undoubtedly have come in first. 
 It was a very great mistake, and one which cannot 
 now be remedied. But never mind, you have done 
 very well, and that is a great consolation. Come, let 
 us have a smoke now, and if you have no objections, 
 I will be delighted to drink your health and future 
 success in the Bageant class in something stronger 
 than water." 
 
 " Certainly, I shall have no objection, for I con- 
 sider the present one of the occasions on which one 
 may make merry with his friends. I suppose you 
 will have the pure aqua vitae." 
 
 "That's the stingo. Bring it here." 
 
 "This must have been placed here for the pur- 
 pose of soothing my spirits under defeat, or allaying 
 them under success, and as the latter is the order 
 of the day, I shall be highly delighted to remove
 
 42 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 the seal. I know well that you will find it first class." 
 
 " I have not the slightest douht upon the subject. 
 Get a kettle of boiling water placed on the hob, and 
 I'll brew myself a tumbler of the strongest toddy 
 with which to drink your very good health, and pour 
 out a libation to your becoming a Bageant." 
 
 Having been supplied with all the condiments, we 
 set to work, and soon were sitting over steaming 
 bowls. As the whisky warmed us, and the jets of 
 smoke rose in light blue pufFs into the air, my 
 cousin's tongue became very voluble, and he began 
 to treat me to a long dissertation regarding my 
 future life at college. 
 
 " Now that you are one of us, and made such a 
 creditable opening, I must take you in hand, and 
 initiate you into the mj'steries of college life. There 
 is nothing so ruinous to a young fellow as getting 
 into a bad set when he first makes a start. Not but 
 one soon finds his level here, for there is no place so 
 democratic, so thoroughly opposed to any assump- 
 tion of dignity, unless for talent, as your dear 
 ' Alma Mater '. A fellow may be as rich as Croesus, 
 and yet find it no value to him here, in as far as it 
 will give him any position among his fellows. Talent, 
 and talent alone, is appreciated and looked up to, 
 and perhaps also the fact of one having been longer 
 at college than his neighbour." 
 
 " I should rather think that that weighs a good 
 deal, if I am to judge by the treatment the raw 
 recruits received on the days of the Competition." 
 
 " Well, you are perhaps pretty nearly correct 
 there, but then you must remember that there is a 
 dignity attached to a Tertian or Magistrand. They 
 have been proved in repeated contests, and you have 
 not." 
 
 "And perhaps found wanting in very many."
 
 BAJANS V. MAGISTRANDS 43 
 
 " Far be it from me to say that a Tertian or a 
 Magistrand may not be fallible — may not be stuck. 
 Like everybody else, they are liable to errors, though 
 I must say they have not the greenness, the new- 
 fledgedness of a newly-born Bageant ", said he, with 
 a leer towards me, which by no means excited my 
 ill-nature. 
 
 " Which they were themselves not very long 
 before. Why, I should say that there are as good 
 men among the Bageants as among the Tertians or 
 the Magistrands." 
 
 " O, yes, there is the making of a good Tertian in 
 them occasionally ", continued he, as he poured out 
 another glass ; at which I only laughed, for my good 
 nature was not so easily ruffled as on former occa- 
 sions. " However", he went on, " I hope you will be 
 an apt pupil in all matters connected with the out- 
 door life of a student in which I am to instruct you. 
 Take my advice : do not be surprised at anything. 
 Take nothing for gospel ; give chaff back to those 
 who treat you with it ; do not presume too much on 
 your being a Bageant, and willingly follow your 
 leader, and I have no doubt, when the close of the 
 session draws near, that you will have made as 
 much progress in my branches of study as in many 
 of those of your professors."
 
 CHAPTER V 
 
 The City of the Scarlet Gown. 
 
 — Aiidrciv Lang. 
 
 By the end of another week we had got into the full 
 swing of college work. At no time was much leisure 
 permitted us, both on account of the amount of work 
 to be done and the shortness of the session. Our 
 classes were two in number — Latin and Greek — with 
 an attendance of five hours. The work in these was 
 most thorough, and excellently adapted to mature 
 the mind, foster self-reliance, and make excellent 
 scholars. It consisted of part of Caesar, Ovid, or 
 Cicero in Latin, and of Xenophon, Anacreon, or 
 Homer in Greek. The passages were translated 
 with very great care, each nicety and peculiarity 
 noted and commented upon, and collateral readings 
 mentioned and explained. It was, on the whole, 
 more exact than at our parish schools, or rather our 
 exactness was turned in another direction, for, as 
 good versions previous to this had been the great 
 aim of our life, so now a nicety in the translation of 
 the languages became our chief object. The former 
 seemed beneath the dignity of a professor, though 
 some of the students did not hesitate to say that the 
 professor himself could not write one sine errore. 
 
 The appearance of the class was a very motley 
 one indeed. As most of the students came from the 
 country — generally from the Highlands and Western 
 Islands of Scotland — they brought with them all
 
 "HABE" OF THE QUARTERDECK 45 
 
 their native roughness and coarseness of manners. 
 The great majority of those who had spent their 
 hves in town frequented the neighbouring University, 
 where the entrance and other examinations were not 
 nearly so severe. In general, the great bulk of the 
 students were far behind in good manners, and that 
 polish which a large town always gives. Their 
 secluded habits when at college, and their inter- 
 course only with their own number, prevented any 
 improvement in this matter. On the whole, their 
 conduct in the class, and their behaviour towards 
 some of the professors, were anything but gentle- 
 manly, and soon settled the point that there could be 
 little intercourse between professor and student 
 until there was a softening down of that roughness 
 and asperity of manner which was a marked trait in 
 the student character. 
 
 Nothing surprised me more than the utter want 
 of respect displayed by a great many of the students 
 towards certain of their professors. It is true, and 
 must be allowed in their favour, that some pro- 
 fessors were scarcely fit for their duties, and had 
 been placed there through influence, and not on 
 account of scholarship. They tell in annals of the 
 University not very ancient, that a surgeon in the 
 Navy, having married the daughter of one of the 
 Principals, was appointed to the richest chair in the 
 University, and had to learn the alphabet of the 
 language after his appointment. Such a person 
 could not be expected to receive the same amount of 
 respect as a ripe scholar ; and as the language of the 
 quarterdeck would often break out when he was 
 excited, the students took every opportunity of 
 working upon his irascible nature, until the class often 
 became a scene of indescribable uproar. Heavy 
 fines were imposed, students expelled, and all the
 
 46 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 terrors of the University courts held up before 
 them, but they treated them with contempt, and 
 pursued the rough tenor of their way. Another, 
 whose jokes w^ere of a uniform nature, and who had 
 handed them down from class to class until they had 
 become stale and unprofitable, was at last treated 
 by the students to yawns instead of laughter. 
 Another, whose domineering disposition made him 
 no favourite, was teased and annoyed in such a 
 manner that he thought of resigning. Urged by his 
 colleagues, he kept his post and redoubled his 
 vigilance, but in vain, for, though student after 
 student was punished, the real aggressor seemed 
 likely to escape and become the pest of the class. 
 At last the better disposed and working part of the 
 students — seeing that no work could be done as long 
 as this continued — took the matter into their own 
 hands and formed themselves into a vigilance 
 committee. In a few days the annoyances had 
 completely ceased, and the professor was able to 
 proceed with the work of the class in peace. 
 
 It was formerly the practice for all prayers to be 
 offered up, and the work of the class conducted, in 
 Latin. This was in many cases the cause of 
 ludicrous mistakes. Thus, in the case of the 
 surgeon of the Navy who had been raised to the 
 dignity of a professor, it was very inconvenient, 
 principally from the fact of his being unacquainted 
 with the language. Having, however, obtained a 
 copy of the Latin prayer, he inserted it in the crown 
 of his hat, so that he might be able to read it as that 
 article of head-dress stood before him. But one 
 morning the MS. having dropped from his hat or 
 been surreptitiously removed by some evil-designing 
 person, the unsuspicious professor rose up, clasped 
 his hands in the attitude of prayer, and closed his
 
 THE LATLN PRAYER 47 
 
 eyes, preparatory to proceeding. As the first word, 
 " Habe ", came from his Hps he opened his eyes and 
 looked into his hat. Finding nothing there, he 
 became confused, repeated the word over and over 
 again, and then, looking up, said, " Gentlemen, I 
 will give you the prayer to-morrow ". From that day 
 he was dubbed " Habe", and was much better known 
 by that than by his own name. 
 
 Frequently also during the delivery of a prayer 
 by any of the professors, when the least hesitancy 
 was shown or repetition attempted, some of the 
 more impudent would shout out, " That's a maxie ", 
 which would of course raise a laugh and embarrass, 
 often entirely put out, the professor. There was no 
 use getting angry or attempting to discover the 
 offender, for all the students considered it a point of 
 honour to screen such from the punishment which 
 they richly deserved. 
 
 On account of the obloquy thrown upon it, the 
 Latin prayer was dispensed wMth, but it is still the 
 practice for all the students to assemble in the 
 Public Hall for the purpose of having the roll called, 
 when an English prayer is offered up by one of the 
 professors, each of whom takes it in turn. On these 
 occasions the prayer of the professor is often inter- 
 rupted by certain sounds, which indicate that the 
 parties uttering them are by no means deeply 
 engaged in their devotions. One professor in 
 particular, who was very methodical both in manners 
 and matter of prayer, came in for his share of 
 caricature. Here and there through the room would 
 various parties be seen imitating him, clasping their 
 hands before them in the same manner, pulling 
 down a tuft of their hair over their brows, and 
 muttering in the same hollow tone of voice in which 
 he was accustomed to utter his petitions. By and
 
 48 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 by the murmur would increase to a distinct sound, 
 which, when he came to a certain part of the prayer, 
 became perfectly audible, and you lost the sound of 
 his voice in the sonorous accents of a number 
 saying, " May teachers and taught be alike taught of 
 Thee, who alone teachest savingly and to profit". 
 Then would come a sudden lull as the professor 
 opened his eyes and looked before him at the 
 Magistrands, who were the chief delinquents. But 
 there was not a figure there but what was in the 
 most appropriate position for devotion. Again his 
 eyes were closed, and again the prayer was pro- 
 ceeded with, when something similar would take 
 place, and some one of the more impudent close all 
 by calling out in a loud and nasal tone of voice, 
 "Amen", which would send a number into fits of 
 laughter. 
 
 If such was the conduct at prayers, we may 
 easily suppose that in the classroom every oppor- 
 tunity was taken of creating a diversion and 
 affording amusement. And yet the work was in 
 general well done, and the amount gone through far 
 more than might have been expected. Of course, 
 the conduct we have indicated was only pursued 
 towards one or two professors, for all the others 
 were so much respected, or had so much personal 
 influence, that no scenes of such a disagreeable 
 nature occurred in their classrooms. The routine of 
 lessons went on like clockwork, and every student, 
 from the highest to the lowest, felt an interest and 
 pleasure in work which he had never before 
 experienced. 
 
 As the majority of the students are regular, or 
 take the regular course of study for Master of Arts, 
 there are very few of what are called private 
 students. Each student is named according to the
 
 BAGEANTS AND MAG I STRANDS 49 
 
 number of sessions he has been at college. Thus, the 
 first year students are named Bageants, supposed to 
 be derived from a French word meaning new- 
 fledged, like a young bird in a nest, and brought 
 originally across from Paris by the founder of the 
 University ; the second, Semis, from being half- 
 through their course ; and the third and fourth year 
 students. Tertians and Magistrands, from an equally 
 clear source. On account of the students being so 
 regular in their studies, and almost all taking the 
 degree of Master of Arts, the professors have 
 greater power over them, and can keep them more 
 closely to their work. It has to be remembered, 
 also, that before a student could pass for his M.A. 
 he must pass a certain amount — more than one-half 
 — of all the papers, and in the Mathematical Class 
 this embraced part of conic sections and the 
 differential and integral calculus. Besides, nothing 
 was more looked down upon than the fact of being 
 " plucked", or, as it was called with us, " stuck " ; and 
 though the professors were very considerate in this 
 matter, and only informed them in private, yet 
 such bad news would by some means or other get 
 bruited abroad, and the party be looked upon as a 
 rara avis in his class. As all bursars — and, in the 
 third and fourth year, all students — had also to pass 
 entrance examinations at the commencement of 
 each session on the subjects of the previous one, it 
 can be easily supposed that we were not allowed to 
 be idle, and that the system pursued was one excel- 
 lently adapted for keeping up knowledge of the various 
 branches of study which the curriculum embraced. 
 About the end of the first week the important 
 duty of buying the gown had to be performed. This 
 is red, and is the distinguishing mark of all the 
 students. As the student increases in years and 
 5
 
 50 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 arrives nearly at the close of his college course, the 
 gown becomes smaller and smaller until it finally 
 disappears, when he is capped A.M. Before that 
 important event takes place, the gown has been 
 known to be reduced to a small shred fixed to the 
 button-hole of the coat. The Bageant, however, 
 luxuriates in his gown, revels in his gown, glories in 
 his gown. There is nothing has such a charm for 
 him as his red toga, and the day on which it is 
 donned is marked by him with a white stone. On the 
 first Sunday, therefore, on which the wearing of it is 
 compulsory, the fresh, newly-fledged Bageants are 
 to be seen wending their way to the old college 
 chapel, with its fine quaint oak carving, which all 
 students, except Dissenters, are expected to attend, 
 or else they are mulcted in the sum of one penny. 
 Well do I remember that first Sunday when I 
 marched over to the old building, sanctified by the 
 atmosphere of a beautiful Lord's Day. Lofty pride 
 was in my heart — pride at my own success, pride 
 that I was now enabled to drink at that fountain of 
 knowledge, and pride at the red flowing badge that 
 adorned my shoulders. And after the sermon was 
 over, what feelings coursed through my breast as I 
 threaded my way through the well-dressed multitude, 
 and noted their looks at my attire! And yet my 
 pride received a fall, my happiness was mixed with 
 alloy — for did not the little urchins on the street tug 
 at my gown and cry after me, " Buttery Wullie 
 Collie ! Buttery Wullie Collie ! " 
 
 How such a cry originated is, we fear, lost in the 
 mists of antiquity. Various hypotheses have been 
 given, such as that the said gentleman, by name 
 William Collie, was so fond of fresh butter and its 
 bearers that he used to make raids on them when 
 they came into the market on a Friday morning.
 
 "BUTTERY WULLIE COLLIE" 51 
 
 Another says that he was a good, quiet, well- 
 disposed student, whose means were so small, 
 and affection for his mother so great, that he went 
 to the market-place, clad in the insignia of his class 
 (it is but right to state that this is denied on very 
 high authority), and helped his worthy parent to 
 dispose of her weekly load. On that account he was 
 called " Buttery Wullie Collie ", and from him the 
 whole class received the same appellation. 
 
 Some think, and say, that it had its origin in 
 another cause entirely different — the pride and 
 vanity of this world. These declare Collie a vulgar 
 corruption of college, and Wullie a general name for 
 all students. The word Buttery they declare to 
 have no connexion with that excellent article of 
 domestic use, but to take its rise from the gaudy hue 
 of the scarlet gown, and that it was originally 
 Butterfly. It, therefore, in its primitive form, stood 
 Butterfly William of the College, but, like all Scotch 
 appellations, it was reduced to suit the tastes of the 
 people into the crj^ with which those red gowns are 
 usually saluted, " Buttery Wullie Collie ". 
 
 A still more likely cause of its origin has lately 
 been discovered in a collection of old Scottish 
 poems. In the old town in which the college stands, 
 there flourished in former days a famous change 
 house or inn, familiarly known as the Buttery 
 College, because it was kept by one Peter Butter. 
 It was the great resort of the students, who were as 
 much addicted in those days to frolic and amuse- 
 ment as they are now. The landlord was a hail- 
 fellow-well-met, as agreeable and pleasant as his 
 beer and spirits, and knew well how to make the 
 house pay. The Buttery College was therefore a 
 great favourite, and had its magisterial body, the 
 honours of which were greatly coveted, and for
 
 52 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 which on one occasion there were no fewer than 
 thirty-six candidates. The time was spent generally 
 in amusements altogether different from those 
 pursued in the opposition place, and from the 
 notoriety of the members the name came to be 
 handed down to all succeeding generations as a 
 sobriquet for the students. The qualifications neces- 
 sary for admission and the studies pursued were all 
 duly chronicled in dog-Latin rhyme, which has been 
 handed down to our day. 
 
 But Monday was the trial day for the new gowns. 
 From time immemorial it had been the practice for 
 the Semis and Tertians to make common war 
 against this article, in which the Bageants so much 
 pride themselves. As soon, therefore, as I came 
 near the hall door, I noted two rows of students, 
 between whom we would have to run the gauntlet 
 before we could reach the seats set apart for us. 
 Once within their clutches we knew that no mercy 
 would be shown, and therefore we quietly waited 
 outside to watch how matters progressed before we 
 made the attempt. In the distance, passing through 
 the archway, appeared the huge figure of Alister 
 Macalister, who had gained a £12 10s. bursary, and 
 who, in his new gown, and with his nose in the air, 
 was indeed a very conspicuous figure. At once his 
 eye comprehended the excited groups, who were 
 shouting, "Come awa', Alister! Lat's hae a grip o' 
 yer goon tae see fat kin' o' claith it's made o'. Come 
 awa', Alister ! " 
 
 " Na, she'll no come to lat ye teer her goon, bit 
 she says gin she comes she'll lat some o' ye feel the 
 wecht o' her airm." 
 
 " Come awa', then, come awa'. Mony a peer 
 laddie hae ye thrashed afore noo. Come awa', an* 
 we'll g\e yon some."
 
 come r 
 
 "A THING OF SHREDS AND PATCHES" 53 
 
 " Mony a ane his she thrashed, an' maybe she'll 
 thrash you tee, ye impident rascals. Haud awa' 
 there ", said he, as one came behind and gave a 
 severe tug to his gown. 
 
 " Hullo, Alister; come on. Dinna stan' preachin' 
 there, an' tellin's fat ye'll dee. Are ye feart, man ? 
 Hiv ye sic a care o' yer goon that ye're feart tae 
 ?" 
 
 Ill lat ye ken that by an' by, maybe ower seen 
 for some o' ye, ye impident scoon'rels, that winna lat 
 a dacent body aleen. Tak' that, then, an' that!" 
 roared he, making a rush at them, his Highland 
 blood fairly up. Down went the first two or three 
 before his stalwart arm and immense strength, and 
 he had pushed nearly half-through the crowd before 
 they were able to seize him. A pause, caused by the 
 tearing of his gown and new home-spun coat, was 
 fatal to him, and gave them the opportunity they 
 wanted. Knocking down the offender, he unfortu- 
 nately slipped his foot upon the leg of one of the 
 students, who had pushed it out for that purpose, 
 and, falling forward, was immediately pounced upon 
 by half a dozen of his tormentors. In vain did the 
 huge fellow try to shake them off, for they stuck the 
 closer, or were thrown aside, bearing in their hands 
 some fragments of spoil. Amid screams, yells, and 
 roars of laughter the row continued, and when he 
 emerged from their merciless clutches poor Alister 
 was minus his gown and the greater part of his coat, 
 while his cap was nowhere to be found. As soon as 
 he found himself free he turned round and shook 
 his fist in the air, muttering something in his native 
 Celtic which might have been an oath, but most 
 certainly, from the manner in which it was delivered, 
 was not a blessing. 
 
 The blood of the students being up at the
 
 54 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 resistance of Alister, the rest of us received the full 
 benefit of it. I was tossed from one to another, 
 projected forward to the end of the row, and as 
 suddenly brought up, at each movement hearing a 
 new rent in my precious gown, and when I at last 
 stood free I found the back gone and the sides 
 hanging in shreds. A few set themselves manfully 
 to defend their togas to the last, and struck out 
 splendidly at their opponents, but the inferiority of 
 their numbers and the many traps laid for them at 
 every step reduced their power of resistance to the 
 lowest, and they were at last glad to get out of the 
 clutches of their tormentors, minus their gowns, 
 hats, or other portions of their wearing apparel. 
 The students had not the slightest mercy, and acted 
 in a very unfair and shabby manner towards the 
 defenceless Bageants. However, there was no 
 redress to be got in complaint or resistance, for the 
 force of numbers completely gained the day, and the 
 poor Bageant was compelled to console himself with 
 the reflection that next year he would have the 
 opportunity of wreaking his vengeance upon the 
 next batch of new students.
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 
 The tintinnabulation of the bells. 
 
 —Poe. 
 
 One Saturday, early in the session, I accompanied 
 my cousin in a call upon a friend of his, a Mr. 
 Lockhart, who was in his class at college. When 
 ushered into his room we found no one there, and so, 
 to while away the time, I passed to his library and 
 began to examine it. It seemed very choice : the 
 finest editions of the ancient classics, with a great 
 amount of the best English literature, and here and 
 there a French and German author of note. To my 
 inquiries regarding his literary attainments, my 
 cousin replied that he was one of the cleverest 
 young men at college, both in the classes and also in 
 the general acquirements of a thorough scholar. 
 Passing to the sideboard, I was very much surprised 
 to see it decorated with ornaments of a very curious 
 nature — knockers of all shapes and material — while 
 in the centre there was a beautiful brass plate 
 engraved with the name of Samuel Martin, Hatter 
 to the People. I inspected these very closely, and 
 found them to be in every way excellently executed, 
 some in the antique style of art, while all, or almost 
 all, bore some inscription. These inscriptions I 
 found to be the names of leading men in the town, 
 such as Dr. Dyce, Rev. Henry Angus, Rev. John 
 Murray, Sir Thomas Wyllie, Peter Henderson, Dr. 
 Keith, Sir Thomas Blaikie, and a host of others.
 
 56 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Being very much surprised, I turned to my cousin 
 for an explanation. 
 
 " Does your friend amuse himself in the manu- 
 facture of these articles?" I inquired. 
 
 "Well, not exactly in their manufacture", replied 
 he, turning round as the room door opened, and 
 saying, " How do you do, Lockhart ? Hope you're 
 well? Let me introduce my cousin to you — he that 
 carried off the bursary at the beginning of the 
 session. You will find him a chip of the old block — 
 one that will suit us in every way." 
 
 " Glad to see you, my boy ! Glad to make your 
 acquaintance, after the flattering way in which your 
 cousin has recommended you. You did well at the 
 Competition, and I hope, when you are about to 
 throw off the yellow hairs of a Bageant, that you 
 wall show us of what stuff you are made." 
 
 I thanked him for his good opinion, and took a 
 seat. He was a very good-looking fellow, with a 
 very intellectual face and lofty brow, perhaps 
 appearing higher than it really was from the 
 manner in which his hair rose from his forehead. 
 There were no whiskers or moustache on the 
 youthful face, though on the upper lip there was 
 some light down, which, after a time, might form 
 itself into something more manly. He could not 
 have been more than nineteen or twenty years of 
 age, though his manner would have led you to 
 suppose that he had seen many more years. His 
 tall, slim figure moved gracefully through the room 
 as he passed to an easy chair near the fire, and I am 
 not ashamed to confess that I was at once very 
 much impressed by him, and that this impression 
 my after intercourse served to deepen. 
 
 While thus examining him, and coming to these 
 conclusions, my cousin said, " He has just been
 
 A "RESEARCH" — SCHOLAR 57 
 
 examining your sideboard ornaments, and asking 
 me whether you amuse A^ourself in the manufacture 
 of them. I was tehing him when you came in that 
 you did not manufacture them, but that you amused 
 yourself in their acquisition." 
 
 " Yes, just so. Do you hke them ? " said he, with 
 a pleasant smile, and rising from his seat. " It is a 
 craze of mine, the collection of such articles of virtu 
 as are before you. Ever since I came to college I 
 have devoted my attention to this branch of anti- 
 quarian research, and I have been pretty successful. 
 These I have collected since the commencement of 
 the present session." 
 
 "Indeed! Your industry must have been great 
 to have collected so many." 
 
 " Well, I could hardly say ", replied he, with a 
 half smile round the corners of his mouth. 
 
 '■ Let me tell you ", said my cousin, " that in this 
 matter of research his energy is indefatigable." 
 
 "So I should judge, by the number of specimens 
 before me. Here is a very pretty one, quite 'antique 
 in its style ", said I. 
 
 " Yes, that one is a beauty. You can have no 
 idea how I longed and thirsted for that knocker. I 
 used to pass by the house where it was exposed to 
 view three or four times a day, until I became an 
 object of attention to the bobby. He used to stare 
 into my face with a half-fatuous look, and occa- 
 sionally seemed impelled by a strong desire to take 
 me to the lock-up, and inquire why I was always to 
 be found pursuing the same beaten track. But I 
 heeded him not. My mind was filled with one idea — 
 with the thought of this treasure, and the means by 
 which I could obtain it. Every time I passed, new 
 beauties appeared in it, and a stronger desire filled 
 my heart to become its possessor. By day and by
 
 58 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 night it was my deepest thought, and from brooding 
 over it I became really ill. My appetite left me, the 
 sallow look of desire began to appear upon my 
 cheeks, and my friends, in whose society I had found 
 the greatest delight, had no charm for me. Like 
 Ahab of old, I became ill because I could not obtain 
 that upon which I had set my heart. But one night, 
 to the great surprise of some of my friends who 
 happened to be seated in my room, I burst into their 
 midst in an excited and overjoyed state. In answer 
 to their inquiries I held up this treasure, this great 
 plague of my life — the veritable knocker that lies 
 before you. In a moment they understood the 
 nature of my past illness, and almost with tears in 
 their eyes came forward to congratulate me on its 
 acquisition, and also to upbraid me with want of 
 confidence and feeling in not requesting their 
 personal aid in obtaining so great a treasure. I 
 thanked them, and said that I did not require this 
 other proof of their love for me, but that now, having 
 obtained what cost me so much thought and trouble, 
 I might be allowed to say that I was indeed happy." 
 And so saying, he patted the said article with a 
 pathetic air. 
 
 "And how did you manage to obtain it?" 
 
 " By a little stratagem I will afterwards explain 
 to you ", and my cousin and he gave a light laugh. 
 " Do you see that other one marked ' Dr. Dyce ' ? It's 
 not a great beauty, but it cost me a great deal of 
 trouble. I can assure you it was fully three weeks 
 before I could manage it." 
 
 " Indeed. It does not seem nearl}^ so fine an 
 article as the former. How did it take so much 
 time?" 
 
 " On account of its ponderosity and the extreme 
 cohesion of its inherent parts. It is by no means
 
 WORKS OF ART 59 
 
 equal to that one made in the form of an eagle, 
 whose claws do the work of the knocker. That one 
 is a pure work of art, executed by a first-class artist 
 whose name is unknown to fame. O, that it had been 
 cast in bronze or durable brass ! Then it would have 
 been a monunientum acre perenniiis. I intend to present 
 that to the college when I leave." 
 
 " Why so, Lockhart ? " said my cousin, with a loud 
 laugh, quite inconsistent with the serious nature of 
 the subject. " Is it because there was one like it on 
 one of the college doors?" 
 
 " Just so : for the purpose of filling up the vacuum 
 that has already been made. With it I shall present 
 a door plate, inscribed with the name of David 
 Thomson, which some day may be useful to some of 
 the professors, or perhaps to the janitor." 
 
 " It would not be a bad idea", said my cousin. " I 
 would also send along with it the name of the donor." 
 
 " No, thank you, I like to do all my good in 
 secret. What reflex influence has charity which is 
 done ostentatiously ? None, save the blazoning 
 abroad of your own doings, and that I do not call 
 charity. Charity is always humble, and therefore if 
 I do so I shall send it with the donor's good wishes, 
 but not with his name. Don't you think that is the 
 better way?" 
 
 " I do, but in many cases it depends entirely upon 
 circumstances", replied I. 
 
 " Just so ; it depends entirely upon circumstances. 
 Now, the circumstances connected with these are of 
 such a nature that the donor would rather withhold 
 his name. So I think I shall act in this manner, and 
 present them with my compliments. But look here. 
 Do you see that plate that stands in the middle of the 
 sideboard, engraved with the name of Samuel iMartin, 
 Hatter to the People? Well, I had long desired to
 
 60 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 become the possessor of it, but found it was beyond 
 my means at present. I was patiently waiting for an 
 opportunity, when a deputation of my fellow-students 
 called upon me a short time ago, and after stating 
 that they were aware of my proclivity for the 
 acquisition of articles of this nature, begged my 
 acceptance of this little mark of their esteem. I was 
 so touched with their kindness that I could scarcely 
 find words to express my thanks. After treating 
 them to a liberal supply of Bass, and bowing them 
 out at the door, I returned to seat myself before my 
 magnificent present, and to study its exquisite 
 proportions. While thus occupied, would you believe 
 that I had a visit from a man, accompanied by two 
 policemen, declaring that I was the receiver of 
 stolen goods? Of course I shut the door in their 
 faces and returned to my post." 
 
 "And were you never troubled by them again?" 
 
 " Of course not ; more especially as the two 
 bobbies were old friends whom I am in the practice 
 of occasionally treating." 
 
 " Here is a curious one. A devil's hand, I think. 
 How is it so much twisted?" 
 
 " On account of the unwillingness with which it 
 parted from its parent stem. Its tenacity was indeed 
 very extraordinary." 
 
 "Indeed. How?" 
 
 " It took me fully half-an-hour before I could make 
 it succumb to my superior knowledge and art", said 
 he, with a light laugh, and a queer smile to my 
 cousin. " Didn't it, Frank?" 
 
 " I should say fully that, if I am to judge by my 
 own feelings." 
 
 "How do you mean?" inquired I, looking from 
 one to the other. " There is some mystery under 
 this which I do not understand."
 
 FRIENDS IX THE FORCE 61 
 
 "And yet it is by no means difficult. I must say 
 that I am not surprised you have not discovered it 
 before. That knocker was wrenched off by my 
 friend while I stood and watched for the bobby." 
 
 "And have all these been obtained in the same 
 way?" inquired I, looking round me in surprise at 
 the array on the sideboard. 
 
 "All except the plate, which he has informed you 
 was presented by a deputation of his fellow-students. 
 They are a formidable number to be collected so early 
 in the session. How many did you take home wath 
 you last session, Lockhart?" 
 
 " I really forget. Something about thirty, I think, 
 while my first year I had the unprecedented number 
 of forty-five. But you must know that the trade was 
 then new, and the rest of the students were 
 unacquainted with it." 
 
 " But how were you able to obtain all these 
 without being caught by the police?" inquired I. 
 
 " By a little diplomacy and care. I never yet have 
 had the pleasure of feeling the hands of a bobby 
 upon me, and very few of my college chums can 
 say that." 
 
 "Well, in my opinion, such conduct is mere 
 wanton mischief, and I should be very much inclined 
 to assist the bobby were I to find you engaged in such 
 a trick", replied I, very indignantly. 
 
 " So say almost all new students", replied he, 
 as coolly as if I had been praising him. " Wait till 
 you have had experience in the matter, and you will 
 think and speak differently." 
 
 " I really hope I never shall. No one loves a lark 
 or bit of fun better than I do, but when fun degenerates 
 into wanton mischief, into something far more serious 
 than a lark, I do hope I will have as much manliness 
 as to keep free from it."
 
 62 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 That IS the way all novices speak, but no sooner 
 do they hear the sound of a knocker being wrenched 
 off than they become transformed. You can have no 
 idea of the feelings which it creates in one's mind. 
 That peculiar sound produced by the tension of the 
 nerves of a knocker vibrates on the strings of the 
 heart of the operator, and produces the most extra- 
 ordinary sensation which one can imagine. On me 
 it has such an effect that I cannot resist it, and 
 therefore I proceed to finish what Nature has begun. 
 Positively, to me there is no music so pleasant as the 
 squeaking sound of a good knocker about to part from 
 its companion metal. The pealing of a bell-handle 
 is nothing to it." 
 
 "All I can say is, that I consider it conduct very 
 much beneath the dignity of a gentleman. What say 
 you, Frank ? " 
 
 " That I used to be somewhat of your opinion, but 
 am now converted to the faith of my friend. Besides, 
 it ought to be remembered that the people who have 
 such knockers can afford to pay for new ones, and 
 that it helps trade." 
 
 " That's not the question at issue. I say, wher- 
 ever there is intentional harm to another, wherever 
 there is injury done that could have been avoided, 
 then I say that it is wanton mischief, and beneath the 
 dignity of a gentleman, and therefore of a student." 
 
 "All right, my dear fellow", said Lockhart. " We 
 will not debate with you upon the subject on our first 
 acquaintance. Sometime after this, at some of our 
 symposia, you will be better able to judge of what is 
 and what is not wanton mischief, and conduct beneath 
 the dignity of a gentleman. Time, no doubt, will to 
 a certain extent modify your opinion." 
 
 " I do hope that I shall never come to look upon 
 wrong as right, and act accordingly."
 
 GOOD FOR TRADE 63 
 
 "One does not know what may happen. I, at 
 least, shall never ask you to act contrary to what 
 you think is right. But, leaving knockers alone, 
 have you knocked up Mitchell to-day ? What do 
 you say to a row on the river or in the bay ? You 
 are willing? Very well; let us light our pipes and 
 have a smoke ere we proceed to relax our limbs on 
 the dark blue profound."
 
 CHAPTER VII 
 
 Whither are fled, sad walls, your whilom glee, 
 
 Your morning glory of the olden time? 
 
 Whither the vintage of your golden prime, 
 O charmed spot, O ancient hostel'rie? 
 Do ever the shades of Bajans long fordone 
 
 Stray hither when Octoher leaves are blown 
 
 And cold rains shiver ; and with jests old grown 
 Adown the sky send yet another sun ? 
 
 — Alma Mater, XXII, 5, 
 
 " To the Red Lion Inn." (J. F.) 
 
 It is a fact dependent upon the. law of contrariety 
 that people of close or sedentary habits, when 
 relieved from their occupations, or in any way freed 
 from the strain upon their minds, run to the opposite 
 extreme, and commit those vagaries for which in 
 time past they have been noted. Even the lower 
 animals do this, as witness the dog let loose from 
 his chain, the monkey from his cage, and the cattle 
 from their stalls. And in the case of man this may 
 be proved from the experiences of Jack ashore, the 
 townsman in the country, the reminiscences of every 
 schoolboy, the records of town and gown, and in 
 many other ways which need not be mentioned. 
 In the case of the students at this Northern Univer- 
 sity, the effervescence of their spirits was expended 
 in jokes upon the professors, and such of the 
 inhabitants as were not popular. Those freaks, in 
 many cases, partook of more than jokes, and often 
 degenerated into wanton mischief ; yet, from the fun
 
 STUDENT LARKS 65 
 
 of them, and from utter thoughtlessness on the part 
 of the perpetrators, this was generally overlooked. 
 The actors were chiefly the students from the 
 country, who, being unaccustomed to the ways of 
 the town, and little known to the residents, troubled 
 themselves less whether thej^ were discovered or 
 not. 
 
 I have already said that nothing surprised me so 
 much as the disrespect shown to certain of the 
 professors and the improper behaviour in their 
 presence. Nowhere else have I seen this so marked 
 and so prevalent. But if this was the case in the 
 classroom, it can easily be believed that out of it 
 they would not be slow to perform practical jokes on 
 those who were unpopular, and who for the time had 
 incurred their displeasure. In the performance of 
 these they were often not very choice, and the 
 broader the joke, the better was it appreciated by the 
 great majority, though it must be allowed that the 
 better disposed and older students did not scruple 
 often to mark their contempt and displeasure at 
 such conduct, declaring it a mark of Bageantdom — 
 the most opprobrious epithet at college. Thus, on 
 one occasion, when one of the professors, who had 
 arrived at a good old age without engaging in the 
 matrimonial contract, took it into his head to do so, 
 and wedded a young lady in the bloom of maiden- 
 hood, they engaged a musician, and sent him to play, 
 before the door where the wedding was being 
 solemnized, that sarcastic Scottish tune, "What can 
 a young lassie dee wi' an auld man?" Now, this 
 was a piece of gross impertinence, an interference 
 in a matter with which they had no concern, and 
 which on no account could be justified, 
 
 A common trick among students was the remov- 
 ing of signboards from their proper situations 
 6
 
 66 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 and placing them upon such as would create a good 
 laugh. For instance, I was once very highly amused 
 by noticing over the door of one of the professors, 
 noted for his habit of "taking off" the students on 
 every possible occasion, a sign with the inscription, 
 " Shaving Done Here ! " Another, who was well 
 known for his niggardliness, found placed above his 
 door one Sunday morning the following sign, 
 " Peats, Pipes, and Porter — Enquire Within ". One 
 waggish fellow, no doubt one of the principal actors 
 in the former evening's freak, taking the sign for a 
 real one, rang the bell and asked to see the master 
 of the house. When he came he pointed to the sign 
 and inquired if he had any of the last two, as he 
 would have no objections to take some. The joke 
 was the more appreciated as the poor professor had 
 unconsciously come out and was standing before his 
 door, staring with amazed eyes at the curious sign, 
 as the church-goers were doucely wending their way 
 to morning service. 
 
 Though this sign freak was occasionally practised 
 during my course at college, the main bent of the 
 students was in another direction — that of knockers, 
 bell-pulls, and brass plates. Of these I have spoken 
 already, and of another species of their freaks I 
 shall relate an incident that happened to myself 
 shortly after the commencement of the session. 
 
 On Saturday evenings, all work being laid aside, 
 the students generally devoted themselves to amuse- 
 ment. Many of them are to be found parading the 
 streets in bands, visiting the various places of amuse- 
 ment, or seated in certain of the hotels patronized 
 by them. One Saturday, sauntering along the 
 street arm-in-arm with my cousin, we met "our 
 mutual friend " Lockhart, and adjourned to the Cafe 
 Royal to have a tumbler of toddy. While seated in
 
 PINNING A CART 67 
 
 the room specially set apart for the students, a great 
 accession was made to our number in the shape of 
 Fender, Gregor Allan, Givan, and one Henry- 
 Johnson, a little, old-faced, weather-beaten young 
 man, whose head had been placed by mistake on his 
 shoulders instead of those of a man of sixty. 
 Besides, he had a sharp, cracked voice, eminently 
 disagreeable, which he was in the habit of inserting 
 on every available occasion. Altogether he was one 
 of those characters with whom you occasionally 
 meet in your course through life and whom you at 
 once and instinctively dislike. It was surprising to 
 all of us that he should have been in the company 
 he was, but we afterwards learned that he had 
 presumed upon a casual acquaintanceship with 
 Allan, and stuck to him during the early part of the 
 evening. 
 
 For a little the talk was scholastic, and princi- 
 pally concerning college work. As the tumblers 
 increased in number it became more general, and 
 degenerated into remarks concerning certain freaks 
 of the students. Suddenly Fender abruptly inter- 
 polated, " I say, who's game to help me to pin a 
 cart?" 
 
 " I'm your man, I'm j'our man ! " came from 
 various parts of the room at once. 
 
 "All right; I see there are plenty of volunteers, 
 so I shall make a selection. I will take you, Allan, 
 of course, and friend Lockhart, also Frank Jamieson 
 and his cousin, and Givan also, if he feels inclined, 
 though I must say it's more than enough for my 
 taste." 
 
 " Am I not to go ? " screamed he of the cracked 
 voice. 
 
 " No, thank you ; I'm much obliged to you for 
 the offer, but, under the circumstances, beg to decline
 
 68 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 it. In fact, we have more than enough, and I do not 
 wish to be encumbered with too many volunteers." 
 
 " But I must go." 
 
 " Very well ; go yourself." 
 
 " No, but I want to go with you." 
 
 " I have already said we cannot take you. In fact, 
 I'm not sure that I can take Givan ", said he, with a 
 side look towards him. " Besides, I never undertake 
 any business of importance without knowing my 
 man." 
 
 " Well, but you know me." 
 
 " I have not that honour ", said he, in a mock 
 heroic manner. 
 
 " I say, Allan, introduce me then, since he stands 
 upon such ceremony." 
 
 " No introduction of mine", said Allan, "will be of 
 any use in this matter. We can only judge of your 
 fitness by experience, and we have not that in your 
 
 case 
 
 Then I shall just go on my own responsibility." 
 
 " You mean by yourself." 
 
 " No, with you." 
 
 " Not if I know it ", cried Lockhart. " You can, if 
 you please, but rest assured of this — I will not move 
 in the matter if you accompany us. If you get into 
 any scrape, you can get out of it the best way you 
 can, for I will have nothing to do with you." 
 
 "All right; I'll look to myself." 
 
 " But understand me, I do not wish to have you 
 with me, lest you should lead us into one." 
 
 " No fear of that ; I'll take care that such a thing 
 does not happen." 
 
 " But I do not wish to risk it, and therefore 
 decline the honour of your company." 
 
 " You use scant ceremony." 
 
 " You compel me by your persistency ; and let me
 
 "WE'LL GANG NAE AIAIR A-ROVIN'" 69 
 
 tell you that, if you determine to force yourself upon 
 us, I will give up the thing altogether." 
 
 " I think, Fender ", said Allan, " that you may 
 trust him. I cannot say that I know much about him, 
 but I think I may vouch for his proper conduct." 
 
 " That is saying a great deal ; far more than I 
 could say for many." 
 
 " I'll look after him." 
 
 " You can, if you like, but if I were in your place 
 I would do no such thing. You know well my aversion 
 to any neutral party in such a thing as we are about 
 to attempt. But if you so determine, and think you 
 can look after your old friend, perhaps the difficulty 
 may be got over. But let me say that, even under 
 these circumstances, I will not be hauled into a row 
 for him or any other person like him. Remember 
 that." 
 
 "All right, old boy. I have no doubt there will be 
 no need of the warning, for I will keep my weather 
 eye open and see that he is not led away by his 
 extreme youth. You must all allow that his appear- 
 ance is very much against him." 
 
 After this sally, which was received with shouts of 
 laughter, the whole companj^ started to their feet, 
 emptied their tumblers, and were soon pacing along 
 the stony streets. 
 
 It was a lovely evening, too lovely for our purpose, 
 as I heard both Lockhart and Fender declare, who 
 were walking some distance ahead of us. The moon 
 shone clearly, the stars twinkled merrily over the 
 bright city that sent up its glare of gas-light, as if to 
 rival the far-off luminaries of night, and the bright 
 shop windows looked out upon us as we moved on to 
 the old town, with its antique seat of learning, sitting 
 silently, and looking down from its hoary towers in 
 learned repose upon the scene. As we moved up the
 
 70 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 hill that lay between the two places, spite of the 
 potent influence of the whisky, we could not but stop 
 and admire the palpitating waters that stretched as 
 far as the eye could reach, and in whose silvery 
 bosom lay many a twinkling star. But down the 
 incline we go, and as we approach the Red Lion, a 
 halt is called, and Fender goes forward to play the 
 scout. Presently he returned and informed us that 
 the coast was clear, and that the cart was in excellent 
 condition for an operation. 
 
 "And now for a disposal of our troops", said he. 
 " You, Johnson, will stand here and watch the arrival 
 of any bobby or suspicious person, and, as it is a 
 position of great responsibility, let me warn you to 
 be careful. I have given it to you on account of your 
 age and staid appearance, and because I could not 
 with safety entrust it to any of your juniors"; and 
 as he said so he winked to Allan, as much as to say, 
 " I think I have safelj' disposed of your venerable 
 friend ". 
 
 "As for you, Mac, I intend to put you where I 
 would particularly wish to have one on whom I 
 could depend. Do you think, Frank, that he would 
 watch carefullj' the entrance to yon close?" 
 
 " I'll stake my life upon his faithfulness." 
 
 " That is enough. Now, look here — I want you 
 to guard the mouth of this close, and to allow no one 
 to enter without giving us this signal " — and he 
 uttered a peculiarly sharp whistle. " Do you think 
 you can do it? " 
 
 " I think I can." 
 
 " Now, if you stand here you can see along the 
 street, and also where we will be, so that you can 
 easily give us the signal, and know when we have 
 escaped. I will expect vou to be extremely careful." 
 
 "I will."
 
 "COME UXTO THESE YELLOW SANDS" 71 
 
 "All the rest can follow, and help in performing 
 the operation of ' Pinning the Cart'." 
 
 Though it was a responsible position, and one that 
 did me honour, yet I must say I would have preferred 
 to have been in the thick of the fun. And yet, feeling 
 as I did in the matter of those student freaks, it was 
 perhaps as well that I should not be an actual 
 participator in it, lest I should have had my scruples, 
 and helped to spoil it. Besides, I was thoroughly 
 unacquainted with the operation, though I was soon 
 to be enlightened, and to understand in future what 
 was the real meaning of the expression, " Pinning a 
 Cart ". 
 
 It was a moonlight night, as I have said, and the 
 street being particularly clear of passers-by, I was 
 enabled to direct my attention to the efforts of my 
 fellow-students. The object of their attack was a 
 cart which stood in a field at the end of the close, or, 
 more correctly, behind the house where, no doubt, 
 dwelt the owner. I noted Fender approach it, look 
 carefully around, and having found that all was clear, 
 issue his directions, which were instantly obeyed. 
 One seized the back door, another the front, one 
 unfastened one wheel, another another, one unloosed 
 a side board, while his friend did the same to the 
 other, and in a few seconds all were to be seen 
 running with their burdens to every quarter of the 
 compass. You see one running as if for dear life 
 with the front door under his arm, while its opposite 
 neighbour was being borne in quite a contrary 
 direction. One wheel was to be seen circling along 
 over the green fields in the direction of the yellow 
 sands, while its companion was being bowled over a 
 field of turnips that stretched for some distance 
 behind the houses. In a few minutes the whole 
 transaction was over, and the operators met in the
 
 72 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 street, a little out of breath with their rapid run, but 
 as eager and willing as before to make a raid on any 
 unoffending cart which might come in their way. 
 And thus was I initiated into the mystery of " Pinning 
 a Cart", and made a participator in it. In the 
 excitement of the moment, the injury to the poor 
 man was forgotten, and only the fun of the thing 
 thought of. 
 
 We had walked some distance down the street 
 when Johnson, perhaps irritated at his being left out of 
 the late raid, or determined to do something on his 
 own account, made a most mean and cowardly assault 
 upon an old man who happened to be passing some- 
 what the worse of drink. None of us had been paying 
 any attention to him — in fact, were entirely unaware 
 of his presence until recalled to our senses by the 
 row that ensued. It seemed that he had knocked off 
 the old man's hat, and driven him into the gutter, 
 which being noticed by some men who were in a 
 shoemaker's shop almost immediately opposite the 
 place, a sturdy fellow rushed out and very uncere- 
 moniously sent Allan, who had nothing to do with the 
 matter, sprawling in the mud. Enraged at the blow, 
 Allan quickly picked himself up, and, throwing aside 
 the plaid which had been around his neck and served 
 to deaden the blow, prepared himself for another 
 attack. It came, and watching his opportunity, he 
 very scientifically planted a blow on the side of his 
 assailant's head, which sent him reeling along the 
 street, and at last made him acquainted with the 
 ground. But this only served to enrage the man 
 still more, and seeing that his opponent was possessed 
 of more science than he, he determined to try some 
 other plan, and, suddenly rushing into Allan's embrace, 
 seized the plaid which was still partially around him 
 and held him fast. At this critical juncture, Lockhart,
 
 A SPITAL ROW 73 
 
 who appeared to have been some distance ahead, 
 rushed up, and crying out, " I told you what would 
 happen through that wretch ", struck the shoemaker 
 so severe a blow on the arm that he was compelled 
 to loosen his hold and set Allan free. As soon as 
 this was done Lockhart whispered to him, " Get clear 
 of that plaid as quicky as you can, or else we will be 
 found out. Off with you ; leave it in some fellow's 
 lodgings, and return as quickly as you can, for there 
 is sure to be a row through that abominably conceited 
 friend of yours." In a second Allan was gone, 
 getting quietly out of the crowd that was gradually 
 increasing, for nothing so suddenly brings students 
 out of their rooms or garrets as the likelihood of a 
 row between town and gown. 
 
 But the students had not the field wholly to 
 themselves, for from the houses of the residents 
 came many both able and willing to fight when told 
 of the dastardly action which was unwittingly 
 palmed upon us. In less time than I can tell it, we 
 were surrounded by a crowd of partisans and 
 enemies, and a hght began in real earnest. Blows 
 were given and received, tlmds such as one only 
 hears given by man to man, sharp raps of sticks by 
 no means light or fragile were borne on the clear 
 air, showing that the " light and joyous sport " was 
 progressing favourably. Heads, shoulders, and 
 faces were being rather roughly handled, and blood 
 flowed pretty freely on both sides. But what 
 amazed and annoyed us most was the conduct of the 
 sturdy shoemaker who first made the attack, for, 
 finding he had been baulked of his prey by the 
 sharpness of Lockhart, he rushed about through 
 the crowd, pointing us out, and bringing upon us the 
 whole wrath of his party. Cameron, an old student, 
 and one who had taken the lead after the commence-
 
 74 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 ment of the row, seeing that it would be impossible 
 to get the better of the crowd as long as our party 
 was present, requested Lockhart, as a great favour, 
 to withdraw his companions and leave the settle- 
 ment of the matter to him. Seeing that, in this 
 case, discretion was the better part of valour, 
 Lockhart gave the signal, and, gradually collecting 
 the whole, gave orders for a general march home- 
 wards. Reluctantly we obeyed orders, but when we 
 got to the middle of the hill, instead of mounting it, 
 made a rush for the Red Lion, and, bursting into a 
 room, ordered a round, and proceeded to inspect the 
 disasters of the evening. 
 
 "Imprimis", said Lockhart, "we are all here, 
 except that little dastardly wretch, whom may the 
 gods not defend. Had it not been for him we would 
 have been all right, and run no risk of public 
 observation. It is another proof of the value of 
 Fender's rule, that you should never engage in any 
 business with one whose character you do not 
 thoroughly know. But let us see the state of our 
 corpora humana. Fender, I see, has got an incipient 
 black eye, which may partly be prevented by the 
 prompt application of some raw beef from his 
 Sunday roast ; Allan, a new bump rising on the part 
 of his cranium where amativeness is generally 
 supposed to reside, which will not be objected to by 
 the possessor if it helps him in any way with his 
 lady friends; Frank must feel some extravasation of 
 the skin on that part of his arm which he is so 
 carefully and tenderl}^ stroking; Givan seems to have 
 been making mouths so energetically and with such 
 good purpose at his antagonists that his lips have 
 assumed the shape, and will likely remain so for 
 some time ; while Mac, with whose features I am 
 somewhat acquainted, has acquired an undue acces-
 
 RED LIOX: "SERVA JUGUM" 75 
 
 sion to his nose, which does not, in my opinion, add 
 anything to his good looks. These, witli my own 
 swollen cheek, seem to be the greater part of the 
 external disasters, and as I suppose our inner man 
 must be weak enough, and here comes the girl with 
 the toddy, I propose we liquor." 
 
 While this interesting operation was going on, we 
 compared notes more particularly and found that, 
 spite of a few trifling contusions, we had come off 
 very well from the fray. There was, however, a 
 danger of being tracked, and it was therefore judged 
 best to make our way to the town, and give over any 
 further raid for that evening. 
 
 But when once youthful spirits are roused, and 
 still further stimulated by an application to the 
 whisky bottle, it is by no means an easy matter to 
 restrain them. The smallest thing will sometimes 
 send them off at a tangent, and produce results one 
 afterwards regrets. And so it was in this case, for 
 as we were returning home there was perpetrated a 
 number of vagaries, which, though in many cases 
 harmless, yet often degenerated into something 
 worse. One act which I strongly but in vain pro- 
 tested against was the wholesale overturning of a 
 cart which was standing near a wall that surrounded 
 a garden. The perpendicular distance would be 
 about twenty feet, over which the cart was precipi- 
 tated amid vociferous cheering, followed by a sudden 
 rush in every direction. How the owners managed 
 to extricate it was to me a mystery. After this all 
 control over the mass was impossible, and each took 
 the way that pleased him best, doing whatever he 
 liked. One would be seen pulling a bell, and asking 
 in the most serious manner for somebody altogether 
 different from the person who resided there, and 
 when the answer was given by a pretty waiting
 
 76 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 maid, an attempt was made to kiss her, which did 
 not always meet with the most effective resistance. 
 Some were energetically knocking at the door of the 
 Misses Strachan, and discussing the propriety of 
 entering and treating them all round. When their 
 kind offer was declined, and their entrance effectually 
 resisted, they became rather uproarious and imperti- 
 nent, so that to cool their ardour one of the young 
 ladies treated them to some dirty water from the 
 bedroom window, which soon made them disperse, 
 singing that sarcastic air, "We'll gang nae mair to 
 yon toon ". 
 
 And this was not all, for, having found my way 
 to my lodgings and got into bed, I was roused rather 
 early in the morning by some of my companions 
 rushing into my room, and making kind but rather 
 pertinent inquiries regarding my welfare. After 
 satisfying them on this point, they proceeded to 
 regale me with stories regarding their night's 
 adventures, and their raids upon bell-pulls and 
 knockers, some of which they showed me to prove 
 the truth of their statements. There had been rows 
 with policemen, attacks made upon them, and extra- 
 ordinary escapes which savoured of the miraculous, 
 and made me doubt the authenticity of the whole. 
 However, their recital kept us in roars of laughter 
 for many a day, until some new event arose to 
 awaken our curiosity and merriment. 
 
 And all this might have passed without leaving 
 any permanent impression on my mind, had not 
 Lockhart come up to me one day in the quadrangle, 
 and said, " I say, Mac, this is a bad business. I'm 
 afraid we are going to be in a fix with that affair on 
 Saturday evening. Had it not been for that 
 abominable little old friend of Allan, we might have 
 managed to baulk the policeman, but that row in
 
 ON THE TRACK 77 
 
 the street, and our encounter with the pugnacious 
 shoemaker, have let the cat out of the poke. He 
 swears he knows the fellow who had the plaid, 
 and that he noticed him go off and leave it in Donald 
 Stewart's lodgings. Donald was in, but declares he 
 was so soundly asleep upon the sofa that he was 
 unconscious of any person being in the room, 
 though I believe Allan had a glass of grog from him. 
 When he returned for it, if he ever did, Stewart says 
 he must have been out, for he knew nothing about a 
 plaid being there at all until he was told about it. 
 This is so far good, but another thing has crept out 
 which is by no means pleasant. The proprietor of 
 the first cart that we 'pinned' happened to be 
 looking out of his window, and by the aid of the 
 moon saw the whole operation and noted all the 
 characters. He swears that if the students were all 
 placed before him he could pick out his men, and, as 
 he has lost the front door of his cart, he declares he 
 will have redress though he should be at consider- 
 able expense. He has already engaged some 
 bobbies from the new town, and they are going very 
 systematically to work. If they can find out the 
 owner of the plaid it will be all up, though Allan is 
 not one that would peach. I must quietly make a 
 few observations, and see if any of the private 
 detectives are friends of mine, as there is some 
 chance of their being. Looking at it in any light, it 
 is not a pleasant matter, and demands great care 
 and circumspection, for, should it get into the hands 
 of the professors, it would be sure to go hard with us." 
 You may imagine the state of mind into which I 
 was thrown by this communication. I walked the 
 quadrangle scarce knowing that I did so, and 
 indulged in bitter self-accusations for so foolishly 
 engaging in wanton mischief when I had formerly
 
 78 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 set my face so determinedly against it. And now, 
 what if we should be discovered, brought up before 
 the Senatus or Police Court, fined, and perhaps 
 expelled from the college ! What a disgrace to 
 myself, mj' friends, and my parents, who had so 
 strongly warned me against any such escapades ! 
 O, how I loathed myself for my vacillation, my 
 weakness, my want of moral courage ! Had I acted 
 a manl}', straightforward part, I would have pro- 
 tested against the whole business, and then left 
 others to do as they pleased. But now I dreaded 
 to think of the consequences. 
 
 Thus Wednesday and Thursday passed. On the 
 Friday, when we arrived at college, we were told to 
 assemble in the hall, as there was to be some 
 important communication made to the students. 
 It was whispered among a few that some poor 
 fellows were to " catch it ". I knew at once that it 
 was our escapade, for, being committed within 
 college bounds, they had the power to take the 
 matter into their hands and summarily punish us. 
 I did not dare to seek any of my companions, lest 
 the fact of our being seen together might be brought 
 against us. In a most unenviable frame of mind I 
 waited until the professors in solemn conclave 
 marched down from the Senatus Room, and took 
 their seats on the raised dais, from which so lately 
 my name had been called amongst those of the 
 honoured bursars. O, how I felt the disgrace and 
 the dishonour it would bring upon my respected 
 parents ! How deeply I regretted that I had not had 
 as much moral courage in the hour of trial as to 
 have resisted the evil ; how I vowed that if ever I 
 was again in the same situation I would act in a 
 very different manner ! But regret was of no use, 
 and good resolutions could not recall the past.
 
 "CABIN'D, 'CRIBB'D', CONFIN'D" 79 
 
 Meanwhile, the Sub-Principal stood up and spoke 
 in the hushed silence of the large hall, to the 
 following effect : — " It is not often that we are called 
 upon to act as we are about to do, and I am very 
 glad that we are not. It is at all times an unpleasant 
 duty to censure j^oung men about to enter upon the 
 real and stern duties of life. But our authority must 
 be upheld, and any irregularities on the part of the 
 students, both for their own sakes and ours, be 
 corrected and punished. It is, therefore, our dis- 
 agreeable duty at this time to stop our usual routine 
 of work, and carry out the decision of the Senatus in 
 a case that has lately come before us. It is a very 
 flagrant one, showing utter disregard of our laws 
 and great want of moral principle. The property of 
 another must be respected" (here I groaned inwardl}-), 
 " and if the students themselves do not know the 
 difference between right and wrong, they must learn 
 it by the things which the}^ suffer. However, 
 without saying anything further about it, I shall 
 summon the gentlemen before us, and, stating the 
 defence, give the decision of the Senatus regarding 
 them." 
 
 Here there was a dead pause, during which the 
 Sub-Principal, in that slow, cautious manner peculiar 
 to him, turned and re-turned the leaf, as if to let the 
 matter have the deepest effect upon us. Then, 
 looking up, he said — " I will feel obliged if the 
 following gentlemen will stand out in front of the 
 professors." I felt a cold perspiration spread over 
 my brow, and a sickening, fainting sensation pass 
 over my heart as those words fell on my ear. The 
 next — the next would be my name or that of some of 
 my companions. I laid my head on the seat and 
 wished that the earth might open and swallow me 
 up. "Charles Grant, Magistrand ! Alexander Irvine,
 
 80 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Magistrand!" What! Did I hear aright? Did 
 not my ears deceive me ? Were these some other 
 names than those of my companions or myself? 
 Surely I must be dreaming, or could not have heard 
 aright. But no; it was all right, for there, to my 
 amazed eyes, were the two delinquents standing 
 before that awful conclave to receive the reward of 
 their deeds. 
 
 O, what a relief, what a load removed from my 
 soul, as the real truth became apparent ! I lifted up 
 my head and looked round with a half-defiant air, as 
 if to ask, " Does any one accuse me of sin ?" But all 
 were too intent upon the scene to pay any attention 
 to my looks or my actions. There before the 
 professors were two victims, and, as they stood in 
 solemn silence, I was reminded of that awful scene in 
 " Marmion " where poor Constance stood before her 
 judges, calm and impassible as stone, to receive her 
 final doom. The row of gowned figures sat looking 
 around with a critical, self-sufficient air, as if the 
 whole wisdom of Christendom were concentrated in 
 their heads, and moving not a muscle of their visages 
 unless when inhaling a pinch of their favourite 
 mixture. But again the slow, drawling tones of the 
 Sub-Principal are heard. " You, Charles Grant, are 
 charged with the heinous and grievous offence of 
 copying at the entrance examination of the 
 Magistrand Class, and 3^ou, Alexander Irvine, with 
 allowing him to do so. It is therefore the decree of 
 the Senatus that you, Charles Grant, be mulcted in 
 the whole of your bursary of £16 10s., and that you 
 be prohibited from obtaining the degree of A.M. in 
 this or any other University ; and you, Alexander 
 Irvine, are mulcted in the sum of £10, for wittingly 
 allowing him to make use of your papers." 
 
 Silence reigned for a moment, and then a perfect
 
 VAIN DEMONSTRATIONS 81 
 
 storm of hisses, groans, scraping with the feet, and 
 every other way in which dissent is generally shown 
 arose, such as would have appalled the stoutest heart. 
 Impassive as stone the Sub-Principal stood, occa- 
 sionally glancing round in order to pick out the 
 ringleaders. But they were too cute for that, and 
 had been too long at the business. When he attempted 
 to speak the noise became even greater, and continued 
 so long that the professors made a motion to rise. 
 On a sudden there was silence, when the Sub- 
 Principal, with peculiar emphasis on the first word, 
 said, — " Gentlemen, your demonstrations will have no 
 effect upon the decision of the Senatus ". This 
 seemed only to excite them still more, and to make 
 them feel a greater satisfaction in expressing their 
 utter detestation of a body that seemed to be above all 
 law, and which often acted in a most arbitrary 
 manner. And they did so to their own satisfaction 
 and the evident discomfort of the professors, while 
 the young gentlemen stood with downcast eyes, 
 evidently feeling the disgrace of their position. 
 
 And how did I feel ? Relieved of an immense 
 load, cleared of an awful disgrace; and though I was 
 sorry for the j^oung men who were thus censured by 
 their professors and cheered by their fellow-students, 
 yet the uppermost feeling in my mind was relief. 
 However, the fright was not without its salutary 
 results, for from that day to the time when I left the 
 college I never engaged in anything which could 
 bring me under the censure of the law, or expose me 
 to the wrath of the still more inflexible conclave 
 of professors.
 
 CHAPTER VIII 
 
 Con-Fusion worse confounded. 
 
 — Milton: "Paradise Lost", II, 996. 
 
 "Well, Mac ", cried my cousin, as he burst into my 
 room on a Friday evening, " are you coming to the 
 Debating Society?" 
 
 " I believe I am a member, and therefore ought 
 to go. When does it meet?" 
 
 "At eight o'clock." 
 
 "All right. What is the subject?" 
 
 " Have you not got the card? " 
 
 " It is somewhere here, if I could lay my hands 
 upon it", said I, as I rummaged among various papers 
 in a case on the mantelpiece. "Ah, here it is. This 
 is what day? The 13th of December. ' Subject for 
 discussion — Whether the fusion of the two colleges 
 would be advisable and beneficial?' It strikes me 
 that will be rather interesting and instructive." 
 
 " Rather, I should think." 
 
 "Who are the speakers?" 
 
 "Affirmative — Robert Cruickshank. Negative — 
 John Jamieson." 
 
 " I'll go, then." 
 
 " Very well, let us set out at once, for we will take 
 some time to go over, more especially as I intend to 
 make a call on two or three on our way. Take a stick 
 with you, Mac; not a small cane like that, but a good 
 sturdy rung^ such as can make a good sound. It will 
 be useful."
 
 MATHEMATICAL CLASSROOM 83 
 
 " How do you mean ? " 
 
 "Man, you are awfully obtuse in these matters. 
 Never mind just now. Get your strongest and 
 stoutest stick and let us be gone. You will learn the 
 use of it by and by." 
 
 "Any more of your freaks? " 
 
 " Not at all, upon my honour. You will be engaged 
 in nothing that will give you any qualms of conscience 
 afterwards. Come along, and no nonsense." 
 
 "All right ; I'll take you at your word." 
 
 So, armed with the stoutest cudgel I had, we set 
 out for the Old Town^ On our way we called upon 
 several of our companions, and before we arrived at 
 the college gate we were a goodly company, well 
 armed, and in a very hilarious mood. I learned from 
 some of them that the debate was expected to be very 
 lively, and that we were to stick up for the honour of 
 our University, and do everything in our power to 
 defeat the ends of the other speaker. When I 
 remarked that this was hardly fair in a matter of 
 debate, I was told very unceremoniously to hold my 
 tongue and do as I was bidden, which injunction did 
 not greatly increase my faith in my companions' ideas 
 of fairplay. 
 
 The meeting was held in the Mathematical Class- 
 room, given by the professor for the purpose. When 
 we arrived there, we found the room comfortably 
 filled with students of the various years, who were 
 amusing themselves in all the various modes common 
 to that fraternity. One was busy with a "pluffer", 
 by means of which he was making peas dance over 
 every part of the room, and won a bet of sixpence 
 from another of his companions by hitting the vertex 
 of a triangle which had been drawn on the blackboard 
 by some of the students in the former part of the day 
 for the purpose of demonstrating the fifth proposition
 
 84 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 of Euclid. Another was crowing like a cock, and 
 replying to a friend in the other end of the room, 
 who was performing those cat calls so often heard in 
 theatres. Then came hissing, cheering, and scraping 
 in every imaginable way ; in fact, everything dis- 
 agreeable that could be thought of. Presently a 
 faint cheer from the farther end of the room, taken 
 up quickly over the whole, announced the arrival of 
 the speakers. As they approached, the cheering was 
 tremendous, and many a stout stick was heard 
 knocking against the floor and sending forth a 
 hollow sound. This was renewed with even greater 
 vehemence when one of the students rose and 
 proposed George Morrison as chairman ; then came 
 a short lull in the storm, during which the chairman 
 announced the subject of discussion and the party 
 who was to open the debate. 
 
 Robert Cruickshank rose amid a perfect hurricane 
 of applause and hisses, which seemed to give him 
 very little trouble. He was a little fellow, with his 
 hair hanging over his brow and a funny look about 
 his face, which provoked a laugh. He had also a 
 peculiar manner of moving about when speaking, a 
 sort of shuffling of his feet, which gave a good deal 
 of amusement to the students ; add to this that he 
 bobbed up and down, and shrugged his shoulders 
 when he said anything that he considered particularly 
 good, and you can have some idea of the person to 
 whom was entrusted the most unpopular part of the 
 debate — the fusion of the two colleges. 
 
 Before the speaker had opened his mouth, and 
 long after he had entered upon his speech, he was 
 plied with questions and personal remarks which 
 would have put any common person to their wits' 
 end. "Go it, Crooky ! Hit him hard! Three cheers 
 for the Broad Street Academy ! Down with the old
 
 FOR THE FUSION 85 
 
 College! Steady; stand steady, Bobbie!" and such- 
 like expressions were bandied about and at the 
 speaker, who took them all in good part, and when 
 one more impertinent than the rest asked him for a 
 lock of his hair, he put his hand to his forelock, and 
 pulling some from it held it out to him. This was 
 received with roars of laughter, which for a time 
 calmed the tumult. 
 
 No subject roused the ire of the students of our 
 University so much as the proposition that the two 
 colleges should be formed into one, and that ours, 
 the more venerable, the more famous, and the richer 
 of the two, should be demeaned by connexion with 
 such a juvenile, modern, and poor establishment as 
 the other was in their estimation. Hence, any 
 attempt to introduce the subject in a company 
 mainly composed of students belonging to the older 
 University was sure to be received with marks of the 
 strongest disapprobation. The present speaker 
 therefore, found his task anything but an easy or 
 agreeable one, but with great sang-froid he bore it 
 all, and waited patiently during the frequent inter- 
 ruptions. Considering that the subject was as 
 unpopular to him as to the majority of the audience, 
 he handled it in an able manner, and showed an 
 amount of good temper which did him great credit. 
 He spoke of the anomaly of two universities in one 
 town when one could serve the purpose, and referred 
 to the remark frequently made in Parliament, that this 
 town had as many universities as all England. Now, 
 if the whole of England was long satisfied with two, 
 and found them for all purposes sufficient, surely 
 we in this northern and only half-peopled district 
 ought to be satisfied with one. It has been often 
 said that our Universities afford a classical education 
 to young men at a low rate, which it would be
 
 86 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 impossible to obtain at the same figure in any other 
 educational establishment of the same kind in the 
 Kingdom. Granted. But what sort of education is 
 it? Not one whit higher, if as high, as some of the 
 best schools in England — such as Eton or Rugby." 
 (" No ! No ! What impudence ! Put the beggar 
 out! put him out!") "Thank you, gentlemen, not 
 just yet; I'll go by and by. Do we ever produce any 
 famous scholars, let me ask — scholars whose names 
 are world-wide, and to whom we refer in matters 
 of deep import in classical literature ? Never. 
 The fact is, that our boasted ideas about our 
 superiority in education, both high and low, is a mere 
 myth, for England will be found to hold as high a 
 place as we — in fact, in many cases even higher." 
 (" Question ! That's a whacker — a mighty crammer", 
 cried one, amid peals of laughter, to which Cruick- 
 sliank quietly replied, "I leave you to prove it'".) 
 "Again, look at our professors. None of them, at 
 least in the present generation, are famous. They 
 get settled in their appointments through favour or 
 influence, and then they do not trouble themselves 
 any more. They come up for five months in the year, 
 perform their duties, and then retire into private life. 
 Academic ease has greater charms for them than 
 academic honours. You talk of rivalry between the 
 two colleges. There may be such a thing between a 
 mixed audience such as this, or on the streets in a 
 fine day for snow-balling" — ("Hear, hear") — "but 
 that there is any rivalry among the professors I defy 
 anyone to prove. The same also may be said of the 
 students, for the sister Universities have such a 
 contempt of each other that the students reciprocate 
 it, and look down upon their neighbours from their 
 fancied position of superiority. Then, what I would 
 propose, since there is no advantage in having them
 
 "DELENDA EST CARTHAGO" 87 
 
 separate, would be a fusion of the colleges " — (storms 
 of dissent). " Gentlemen, I will wait till you have 
 done; I am not in any hurry. Well, as I was saying, I 
 would propose a fusion of the colleges " — (hisses). 
 " By this means we would have fewer professors, and 
 be able to offer much higher salaries, and therefore 
 command men of much higher scholarship. Anyone 
 will at once admit, unless his mind be very much 
 prejudiced, that it would be far better to have one 
 first-class college, presided over by professors of first- 
 rate ability, than to have two high-class schools 
 and nothing more." C' Shame ! Shame ! ") " Gentle- 
 men, I only state a fact, and if it is unpalatable to 
 you I cannot help it. Remember what the immortal 
 Burns says: 'Facts are chiels that winna ding'." 
 (" Hear, hear.'") " If you can prove the opposite I 
 shall be happy to hear it. For my own part, I would 
 prefer a university so richly endowed that it would, 
 from its wealth alone, draw around it men whose 
 fame was world-wide, and who would shed a halo of 
 glory around it in the future. But what have we 
 now? Under our present system we have men hardly 
 heard of half a mile from the gates of the University, 
 and who are willing and happy to remain in their 
 easy positions." (" Shut up, Crooky, shut up ! we've 
 got enough of you!") "Very well, gentlemen, as you 
 find my remarks unpalatable, I will 'shut up', as you 
 elegantly express it. However, let me conclude my 
 speech in the words of a noble Roman, Cato 
 Uticensis, slightly altered to suit the present 
 momentous occasion, ^ Et hoc nliud censeo alterum 
 Collegium esse delendum' " — (loud cheers and hisses). 
 Having taken his seat amid mingled hisses and 
 cheers, his opponent rose and was received with 
 thunders of applause. Then, and only then, was I 
 made aware of the real use of the stout stick with
 
 88 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 which every student had provided himself. At a 
 signal from one of their number, who cried out, 
 " Three good, roaring, cracking cheers for Jamieson", 
 they all simultaneously rose to their feet, and with 
 their sticks began thumping the desks so vigorously 
 that the din was almost deafening. Cheer succeeded 
 cheer, thump succeeded thump, until John, the 
 sacrist, roused from his evening nap, made his way 
 upstairs, cautiously opened the door, and peeped in. 
 However, instead of interfering, he quietly retired, 
 leaving the excited crowd to quiet itself. Perhaps 
 he had found by experience that this was by far the 
 better plan, and that they did not brook any inter- 
 ference in matters intellectual anj^ more than they 
 did in matters that affected their other interests. 
 
 After a time the speaker was allowed to proceed, 
 but every now and then, when any remark was made 
 in favour of their views, they would burst forth into 
 their old vagaries, and thrash the desks like madmen. 
 As he launched out into the evident advantage to 
 the sister University, or, as it had been facetiously 
 and truthfully described by one of the audience, 
 " the Broad Street Academy ", to be connected with 
 this time-honoured and ivy-clung seat of learning, 
 the roars of applause were deafening and such as to 
 entirely silence their opponents. Again and again 
 did he touch upon the desire on the part of the 
 sister seat of learning to be joined to us, while we 
 were willing to remain in our primitive state of 
 solitude, living under our own vine and under our 
 own fig-tree, knowing that, let whatever happen, there 
 was nothing to make us afraid. " It was natural ", 
 said he, " that the weak should wish to be under the 
 protection of the strong, that the poor should desire 
 to have a share of the possessions of the rich, the 
 unkno\\'n to obtain some of the favours that were
 
 BROAD STREET v. THE CROWN 89 
 
 accorded to the famous, and that the new — the brand 
 new, which stares so glaringly upon us and can boast 
 of little ancestry — should wish to be connected with 
 the walls of a seat of learning hoary with the 
 centuries that look down from its beauteous Crown." 
 (Here the cheering was tremendous, and continued 
 for at least five minutes, interspersed with the 
 remarks, " Well done, Jamieson ! Three cheers for 
 the old spot! And another for the old Crown!") 
 " But ", continued he, " it is not always the wish of 
 the strong to have the burden of the weak, of the 
 rich to divide their riches among those with whom 
 they have no connexion, of the famous to pass 
 their hard-earned honours to those that have gained 
 none, nor of the time-honoured walls to cover granite 
 facings with the mosses which kindly centuries have 
 spread over them. No ; what we wish is to remain 
 in our isolated position, to do as we have been doing: 
 to send out to the world men who will be a credit to 
 their day and generation, and whose fame will be 
 reflected back on their ' Alma Mater ', and to 
 dispense our favours to all and sundry, without any 
 regard to position or wealth. It is the boast of this 
 ancient seat of learning that it has sent forth more 
 men from the lower classes than any other university 
 in the Kingdom — men who, by means of its noble 
 endowments, have been enabled to obtain that 
 ne phis ultra of every Scotchman — a university edu- 
 cation. If I were to speak of the famous men who 
 have studied within these walls and sat on these 
 benches, I would take up all the evening, and even 
 then would not exhaust the list" — (cheers). "But 
 were I to ask of the sister college — the Broad Street 
 Academy — ' Where are your famous sons ? ' Echo 
 would only answer, 'Where?' You have no doubt 
 heard of one, and he is the only one I can remember
 
 90 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 at present, who studied at that estabHshment, and 
 who, if not himself famous, was made so by one 
 whose very touch was enchantment. I mean Captain 
 Dalgettj'^ in Sir Walter Scott's novel of the 
 ' Legend of Montrose'" — (roars of laughter, in which 
 both sides join). " I have tried to discover others, 
 but I have failed. True, there are some who have 
 studied there and risen to civic honours, men whose 
 highest and grandest ideas were connected with the 
 magnitude of tape, the best market for the sale of 
 fish, the fluctuations in the wool trade, and the great 
 dearth of sheep — poor, erring mortals, I pity them ! 
 — and to whom ' The Frogs ' of Aristophanes was 
 interesting only because the said article was one of 
 commerce between that part of the world and 
 France. Most of them, though they studied for two 
 whole sessions at that establishment whose fame 
 has been so loudly trumpeted by my facetious and 
 movable friend " — (laughter) — " still have not a soul 
 above paving stones, cotton, wool, or any of the 
 other articles that have helped to make the new city 
 famous. Therefore, I propose that we remain as we 
 are, that the wholesome feeling of rivalry which 
 even a Broad Street Academy may create might 
 continue, and that we be allowed to hand down to 
 posterity this ancient seat of learning untarnished 
 by any mark of modernism, which, I am sorry to 
 say, clings to that place, whose name I shall not 
 pollute my lips by uttering." 
 
 When he sat down the noise was fearful. Every 
 student seemed possessed with a devil, and thrashed 
 at the desks as if for dear life. For nearly ten 
 minutes the noise and turmoil continued, and, spite 
 of the efforts of the chairman, the gesticulations and 
 unheard entreaties of the last speaker, they would 
 not be pacified. It is, however, sometimes a good
 
 CHEAP V. EFFICIENT 91 
 
 thing that human efforts soon exhaust themselves, 
 and that the natural course of things is again 
 resumed. Like distant thunder, the noise graduall}' 
 died away, and, save an intermittent growl as if of 
 baffled rage, gave no further indication of its 
 presence. Order being restored, the rest of the 
 speakers were allowed to proceed. These consisted 
 chiefly of students from among the audience, who 
 spoke on either side. 
 
 One of the first speakers to rise and obtain 
 a hearing was a stout Highlander who went by 
 the name of "Glenlivet", that being the part of the 
 country from which he came. He was very short- 
 sighted, had a peculiar cast about his eyes, and 
 twitched them about in a manner that at once 
 attracted attention. No sooner did he rise than the 
 students cried out, "Go it, 'Glenlivet'! Pitch into 
 him". Glancing about him in a hurried manner, 
 and evidently flurried by the personal remarks 
 thrown at him, he commenced, but floundered, and 
 made some foolish blunder in pronunciation. Im- 
 mediately his tormentors were upon him, repeating 
 and re-repeating it amid roars of laughter. The 
 chairman tried all he could to pacify them, but it 
 was almost more than he could do, and he succeeded 
 only with the aid of the former speakers. Then 
 " Glenlivet " proceeded to saj' — " I was surprised at 
 some of the remarks which fell from both of the 
 speakers, more especiallj' from the first. No doubt 
 it would be an excellent thing that the Universities 
 should be joined, and that thej- should thus command 
 a higher degree of eminence on the part of the 
 professors. But if it did, would it not also demand 
 a higher degree of scholarship on the part of the 
 students — indeed, such a scholarship as we would be 
 unable to obtain for some time, if ever? And
 
 92 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 another thing — and one which should weigh very 
 much in this matter — would not the college educa- 
 tion be largely increased were the Universities 
 united? We would have more classes, more fees, 
 and consequently an increased rate of expense over 
 all. That boon which one of the speakers has 
 spoken so much about, would no longer be in 
 existence, for our bursary system, from which so 
 many have reaped benefits, would be remodelled, not 
 to the advantage of the student, and it would be 
 impossible to live at this seat of learning at the rate 
 many of us now do. Therefore, though I might be 
 inclined to vote for the fusion of the Universities, I 
 would oppose the fusion of the colleges, for no doubt 
 a feeling of rivalry exists which is beneficial to both. 
 Let the Universities be joined, and then this rivalry 
 would be increased and encouraged in a common 
 field — the field of examinations, the only true test of 
 good scholarship." 
 
 When " Glenlivet " sat down applause greeted 
 him from all sides, for he had struck the right cord, 
 and engaged the sympathy of the majority. Neither 
 of the former speakers had alluded to the Universities 
 as distinct from the colleges, and this idea of 
 "Glenlivet" at once took the fancy of the students. 
 But besides taking their fancies, it touched them on 
 the point on which they were strongest, and on which 
 all students feel keenly — scholarship. All present 
 were willing to waive matters of minor importance 
 provided they could have the opportunity of testing 
 their scholarship alongside their rival's. 
 
 But another speaker is on his feet, and pitching 
 very sharply into the second speaker. He said — 
 " Though I agree in general with the remarks of the 
 speaker, there was one point on which he made a 
 grievous mistake. He spoke of the great men
 
 MARISCHAL MEN 93 
 
 connected with the junior University, and declared 
 that only one was known to him, Captain Dalgetty." 
 (" Hear, hear.") " Now, I must say that in talking thus 
 he only showed his own ignorance. That University 
 has produced far more famous men who have left 
 their mark on the world, and will yet leave it, than our 
 own ivy-clad seat of learning." ("Hear, hear", and 
 vociferous cheering from the supporters of the fusion.) 
 " I am sorry to say this, seeing that I call the older 
 one my 'Alma Mater', but it is right that the truth 
 be known. It can boast of a poet, a theologian, a 
 mathematician, a philosopher, and a naturalist second 
 to none in their day. Can v^^e do so ? I may reply 
 in the words of the same speaker, ' Echo answers, 
 " Where ? " ' Therefore, what I say is, if we are to 
 debate about the fusion of the colleges let us do it in 
 a fair manner, and grant to each what it has acquired. 
 If the sister and younger University cannot 
 boast of hoary antiquity, it can boast of what is 
 greater than that — men whose names will be handed 
 down to posterity as an honour to their race and to 
 the seat of learning with which they were connected. 
 I have yet to learn the names of those connected 
 with our University who have been as famous." 
 
 He had scarcely taken his seat when a little 
 fellow, none other than our little, old friend of 
 " Pinning Cart" notoriety, started up. He gesticu- 
 lated so furiously that he was saluted with shouts of 
 laughter and cries of "Go it, old man !" "Walk into 
 his affections ! " " Strike him hard, young 'un ; he has 
 no friends ! " and such like expressions. " I protest, 
 I protest", shouted he, followed by "Ho! ho! ho!" 
 from his fellow-students. " I protest against the 
 manner in which the last speaker has talked of his 
 University. He ought to be ashamed of himself, to 
 remember that he is within the walls of a University
 
 94 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 hoary with time and famous for every kind of talent." 
 ("Name them! Name them!") " 'Name them', do 
 you say? Yes; I'll name them. There is that 
 famous mathematician, whose book everyone knows, 
 
 the celebrated professor, Mr. ah, ah; I forget his 
 
 name just now." (Roars of laughter from all sides, to 
 which someone added, 'Shut up!') "No; I'll not 
 'shut up'", said the little fellow, getting angry. "I 
 appeal to the chair, and demand to be heard. Then, 
 there is that famous man whose philosophical 
 reasonings have been handed down to our time, and 
 which made a complete change on philosophy — I 
 mean the professor that was in the Moral Philosophy 
 
 chair — the great and good Professor ah, ah " 
 
 ("Nobody", cried one wag, while the voice of the 
 speaker became inaudible from the fact of his being 
 very unceremoniously shoved under the desk by a 
 strong, burly fellow who was sitting beside him, 
 and who had become disgusted with his nonsense). 
 
 Several others took part in the debate, and in 
 general spoke well to the point. They were subjected 
 to the same rough treatment as the former speakers, 
 which they bore with wonderful equanimitj^ This 
 was a rough school in which to be taught, but no 
 doubt it had its beneficial effects in after - life, 
 particularly on such as went to the Bar or even to the 
 Church. It encouraged a readiness in language or 
 repartee, tried the temper, and compelled the speaker 
 to watch his words, for the least slip was most 
 mercilessly exposed and ridiculed. 
 
 But the time was almost up, and the chairman 
 gave notice that no more speakers would be heard on 
 either side. The leaders of the debate were allowed 
 to reply to the various speakers, and then the 
 chairman summed up the arguments on both sides, 
 and called upon the meeting to give its decision.
 
 A HARDY ANNUAL 95 
 
 " For the fusion " received only a few hands, greeted 
 with loud groans, hisses, and ironical cheers, but 
 when the opposite was put to the meeting a perfect 
 forest of hands and sticks arose. As soon as the 
 chairman declared that the negative was carried, a 
 cheer, loud, continuous, and tremendous, followed, 
 and the more enthusiastic vented their excited 
 feelings by a fierce application of their sticks to the 
 desks. And then, with a victorious shout, they rushed 
 to the door, and made their exit, without troubling 
 themselves about passing votes of thanks to the 
 chairman or the speakers. 
 
 The foregoing is a specimen of one night, and 
 happily not a common one. This subject, brought 
 up every year, was certain to rouse the spirits of the 
 more troublesome and cause a row. But when 
 subjects of a less excitable nature and more suited 
 for debate were introduced, talents were shown which 
 did the students infinite credit. Many a happy hour 
 did we spend in this society, measuring our powers 
 with those more advanced, or of more matured 
 judgments than ourselves ; and, even at this late 
 period of life we feel its good effects, and thank 
 Providence that we were permitted to enter such a 
 school, rough and unceremonious though it was.
 
 CHAPTER IX 
 
 Ampullas et sesquipedalia verba. 
 
 — Horace: '■^ Avs Poetica"' 97. 
 
 From Cellardyke to windswept Pittenweem. 
 
 — TetDiant : " Aiisfcf Fair.'" 
 
 "A PINCH of snuff, Hector", said my cousin to a 
 Highlander who occasionally was to be seen in his 
 lodgings and at his supper parties. "A pinch of 
 snuff. Hector, or, as Dr. Johnson, in his grand, 
 classical manner, used to say, 'Allow me, sir, to 
 insert the summits of my digits into your pulveri- 
 ferous utensil, to produce a grateful titillation on 
 the olfactory nerves '." 
 
 " Give it rather in Geordie's vernacular, Jamie- 
 son ", said Lockhart, " the pure and unadulterated 
 periods of a Latin professor : ' Sir, permit my 
 digital extremities to insinuate themselves into your 
 tobacchic concavity, to extract from its hidden 
 arcana the subtle powder which dissipates and con- 
 founds the aqueous humours of my inundated and 
 ponderous brain '." 
 
 " Hurrah for Geordie. I'll back him for a grand 
 period against any man in the kingdom." 
 
 " Or for Sabines." 
 
 " Yes, and for Sabines, too." 
 
 " How for Sabines?" inquired I, innocently. 
 
 "Well done, 'Verdant Green'; don't you know 
 that yet ? " said Lockhart. " Allow me to inform you 
 in the most delicate manner possible that 'George'
 
 Professor Gi:orgh Fhrguson.
 
 "QUI" WITH THE SUBJUNCTIVE 97 
 
 is possessed of a number of daughters, familiarly 
 known by the name of the Sabine virgins. These, 
 Hke some monster of old, he carefully guards from the 
 advances of certain gentlemen who shall be name- 
 less. One, however, is to be found in the present 
 company. At the same time I have no doubt your 
 classical knowledge is sufficient to make you 
 acquainted with the meaning of the expression, ' the 
 Rape of the Sabines '. Well, I am sorry to say that 
 this professor, who is otherwise a most estimable 
 man, is often annoyed by midnight visitors, who 
 serenade the ladies on tin whistles, old fiddles, and 
 broken banjos, which you may suppose make any- 
 thing but pleasant music, particularly when they 
 are manipulated by verj^ indifferent performers. As 
 this lately became a great nuisance, and prevented 
 his mind from being properly and consecutively 
 concentrated on the peculiarities of qui with the 
 subjunctive, he determined to put a stop to it at 
 once, and for ever. Accordingly, two nights ago, 
 when an attempt was made on the Sabines, and 
 when they were endeavouring to lull the monster to 
 sleep, and lure the ladies from their enchanted 
 castle by means of the most discordant of all music, 
 your cousin and some others were almost caught." 
 
 "It was yourself, you monstrous fibber", in- 
 terrupted my cousin, perfectly horrified at his 
 effrontery. 
 
 George ' stalked down from his midnight oil ", 
 continued Lockhart, paying no attention to the 
 interruption, "and, arming all the servants, disposed 
 them in the form of a Roman guard around the 
 place. It is true their armour was not of the true 
 Roman type, for the general himself had the staff 
 which generally accompanied him in his peregrina- 
 tions, one servant a poker, another the tongs, and 
 8
 
 98 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 another an old umbrella, with which she is currently 
 reported to have on former occasions sheltered the 
 aggressors. While your cousin was safely ensconced 
 in the meat safe, tradition says by the lady herself, 
 he heard ' George ' arranging his army in battle 
 array, and haranguing them in the following glowing 
 terms : ' Ye are come to fight not against common 
 enemies, but against the aggressors of your homes — 
 the lares and pennies of your inmost penetralia. It 
 has been said, " Dulce est pro patria mori ", but how 
 much more so is it when you are called upon 
 mori pro donio et Sahina virhite. Let us therefore 
 resist the enemy vi et arniis, and show them that we 
 will, like our own native land, declare, ''Nemo me 
 impune lacessit." Dispose your forces in such a way 
 that the enemy will be completely circumvented, and 
 that no avenue of escape will be left. Watch closely 
 the exit by the door which leads from the culinary 
 tenement, and direct your gaze in the direction of 
 the lateral protuberances of our domestic habitation. 
 Strike down with your tongial weapon any opposing 
 object, and, while my daughters explore the pene- 
 tralia, I will defend this pass which penetrates in the 
 direction of the ferreal or iron gate '. While thus 
 disclaiming and wasting precious time, your cousin 
 was quietly feeding upon an excellent Belfast ham, 
 which happened to be in the safe beside him." 
 
 " That will do, old boy : I think you have told 
 enough of lies for one night. The fact is, he himself 
 was the aggressor and sole perpetrator of this foul 
 outrage upon a private gentleman's home." 
 
 " Upon my honour, I never assisted in any raid 
 upon poor ' Geordie.' " 
 
 " Nobody said you assisted. You were the 
 principal actor; in fact, the only one." 
 
 " I see it is no use trying to clear one's character
 
 "GEORGE'S" "ORATIO PRO DOMO SUA" 99 
 
 from a foul imputation when once it is made, I shall 
 therefore take no notice of it." 
 
 " By far the better way, considering that you 
 managed to escape so easily." 
 
 " How did he manage that?" inquired I. 
 " By waiting quietly, and helping himself to the 
 ham, until the young lady found it convenient to let 
 him out. Then, giving her a kiss for her kindness, 
 and scaling the wall, he was soon in his bed sleeping 
 the sleep of the innocent." 
 
 " I disclaim all knowledge of such an action, and 
 ask you, upon your honour as a gentleman, whether 
 you doubt my word ? " 
 
 " None of your theatrical tricks here. We have 
 had enough of them." 
 
 "Well then, will you grant me a request?" 
 " If it be not unreasonable, and savour not of 
 the monstrous." 
 
 "It is neither. As you are 'George's' intended 
 son-in-law, and must be acquainted with his modes 
 of life better than any of us here, will you oblige me 
 and also the rest of the company by giving us 
 'George's' celebrated speech to the inhabitants of 
 Pittenweem when they presented him with the 
 freedom of their ancient and famous city? " 
 
 "Hear! hear! ' Geordie's ' speech! 'Geordie's' 
 speech ! Come along, old ellow, give us it entire, 
 wanting nothing ! Come along ! " were the cries 
 heard from everyone in the room, permitting no 
 refusal. 
 
 My cousin looked puzzled and scratched his head, 
 but, finding it impossible to get out of it, quietly 
 acquiesced and prepared for it. He could not, 
 however, resist having a fling at Lockhart in passing, 
 and therefore said : " Gentlemen, I am very sensible 
 of the honour you have done me, and am very much
 
 100 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 obliged for the hearty way in which you have 
 responded to the wish of my friend. Allow me, 
 however, to say that he completely mistakes the 
 position in which I stand towards the illustrious gentle- 
 man who has been named. It is Mr. Lockhart who 
 occupies the proud position — not I, I am sorry to say." 
 
 Lockhart merely smiled and gently inclined his 
 head towards my cousin, while all the rest of the 
 company cried out, " ' Geordie's' speech ! ' Geordie's' 
 speech ! " 
 
 " Well, gentlemen, here goes. Once upon a time, 
 we can't say when, the illustrious and ancient city of 
 Pittenweem determined to enrol among its famous 
 citizens the name of ' George ', a professor whose 
 fame is world wide, and whose influence is omnipotent 
 over that part of the community called Bageants." 
 (" Hear, hear", from Lockhart.) " Intimation of the 
 intended municipal honour was conveyed to the 
 aforesaid gentleman, and having appointed a day on 
 which to visit the city and receive it, he set himself 
 to the task of composing a speech suitable for the 
 occasion, and also for the mental capacities of those 
 who were to hear him. Having, therefore, assembled 
 in their magnificent town hall, formed from the 
 wreck of three old boats, he addressed the assembled 
 burghers in the following terms : — 
 
 "'Ye piscatory denizens of this pristine munici- 
 pality — loricated in the adamantine impenetrability of 
 your own ferruginated impenitency, diurnally versed 
 in the naval bisections of the briny profound — listen 
 ye with unwearied assiduity and unmitigated credulity 
 to the exercitations, exhortations, annotations, and 
 exemplifications of one who, from the bucolic rusticity 
 of his own unsophisticated progenitors, has been 
 enrolled among the senators of an ancient and ivy- 
 clung seat of Hellenistic lore. (" Hear, hear.")
 
 "GEORGE" AT PITTENWEEM 101 
 
 " ' I shall not endeavour to homologate the 
 idiosyncrasies and idiomatic peculiarities of the 
 molus-cular inhabitants, who permeate the undulating 
 agrarian fields and petrified vitrifactions which 
 circumscribe the insular deposit upon which your 
 famous and ancient municipality is located. To you 
 it is permitted to percolate your tenebrosian prows 
 per czquum et proftuidtim mare'' '' — (applause) — " 'and to 
 gaze with rapturous vision upon the celestial and 
 auroral spectacle of poooSd/cn-Xos ijcos ' " — (thunders of 
 applause). '"While the majority of the human genera- 
 tion are steeped in the Lethean arms of Morpheus, 
 ye are peregrinating the unmarkable surface of an 
 aqueous element whose permutations, combinations, 
 extraversations, and perniciosations far exceed the 
 cogitations of the mental comprehensions accorded 
 to that parvicular animal denominated man. 
 
 ' But though this saline elemental protuberance 
 may be said to be almost your domiciliary residence, 
 yet the perpetual conflicts with its bellicose elements 
 are an excellent preparative for the more strenuous 
 and protracted struggle which you have to maintain 
 with the inhabitants of the more tenacious and 
 gravious body on which you were ushered into 
 mundane existence. Ligatured to the terraneous 
 particles, their mental comprehensions are bucolic, 
 while yours, at one time elevated to the altitude 
 of the celestial atmosphere, at another suctorated 
 into the fathomless vortex of the vasty profound, 
 can ascend on mental imaginations far above all 
 mundane things, and gloat over the glorious 
 spectacula of a vital existence granted only to your- 
 selves. To them I may be permitted to apply the 
 ipsissima verba of my old and valued friend Gray — 
 
 Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise, 
 while upon you, gratia deorum, has fallen the divine
 
 102 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 afflatus, the celestial benedictions, because you are 
 the beloved of the gods, the favoured of men, 
 and the saline components by means of which this 
 terraneous mass is sustained and retained in its local 
 tenement. 
 
 The recipient of the freedom of a city tenanted by 
 such illustrious inhabitants as I have commemorated, 
 I am sensible of the invaluable nature of the honour 
 conferred upon me, and of the proximity of fraternity 
 which now exists between us. My mental cogitations 
 will permeate in a continuous fluvial tide towards 
 you, and be in future a circumambient exhalation. 
 When the ventosal currents shall swell their protub- 
 erant cheeks, when the fluctual waters of oceanus shall 
 pulsate with tonitrous crash on the sounding shore, 
 when the clamorous shrieks of the moritural mariners 
 and the never-to-be-forgotten wail of the inanimate 
 cadaverous corpse shall be an auditural spectacle 
 along your coast, when the cry of the piscatorial 
 widow and her orphaned children shall penetrate 
 through your tortuous and lateral streets, then shall 
 my coral sympathies percolate out to you, and, 
 remembering this day — the most memorable of my 
 life — I shall, in the penetralia of my studious 
 chamber, project my head from my fenestra, and 
 pronounce an objurgation and a cachination on the 
 roaring and inattentive mass which itinerates over 
 the fluvial arena. 
 
 " 'Again thanking you for the honorary title 
 conferred upon me, I resume my curule chair in 
 solemn silence '. " 
 
 Thunders of applause greeted the recitation of 
 this harangue, which had been listened to with 
 smothered laughter, and then there came the cry, 
 " Three cheers for Geordie ! Three cheers for 
 Geordie ! "
 
 "GEORGE'S" INFLUENCE 103 
 
 " Three cheers, say I ", cried Lockhart, " for his 
 intended son-in-law. He is worthy of the honour.'' 
 
 " You shut up. It is your own self that is after 
 one of the Sabines." 
 
 " Eh ! ' Where ignorance is bliss ', etc., a grand 
 quotation from old Gray, and always in the mouth of 
 your intended father-in-law." 
 
 Shut up, I say, else I'll shy this tumbler at your 
 head." 
 
 " Very well, I'll do it since your desires are so 
 striking. But allow me to say with Cato — 
 
 It must be so, [friend Jamieson], 
 
 Else whence this pleasing hope, this fond desire, 
 
 This longing after [a Sabine virgin] ? 
 
 Not on my account, but on yours. No, no, Jamieson ; 
 friend Lockhart knows a thing worth two of that. 
 But what is this that Hector is announcing with 
 such unction ? " 
 
 " You may say what you please, and make fun of 
 him as you please, but in my opinion he is the only 
 professor that really does any permanent good to us ", 
 said Hector, with animation. 
 
 " What, old Geordie ? Why, he is nothing but a 
 pedant, and would be much better acting the part of 
 a dominie." 
 
 " Well, that would be no disgrace, taking it even 
 in its lowest condition. But I still maintain my 
 point, that he is the only one of our professors who 
 leaves any good effects behind him. Bageants 
 cannot speak of this, but I appeal to those who have 
 been under him, and who have given attention to the 
 duties of his class, and I am certain they will bear 
 me out. What do you say, Lockhart?" 
 
 " That you are right, though I would hardly go 
 the length of saying that he is the only one that 
 affects us for good. ' George ', though he has many
 
 104 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 peculiarities, and an immense deal of pompositj-, is 
 at bottom a most excellent scholar, and from the 
 very methodical manner which is so much ridiculed 
 by us, goes through a greater amount of work than 
 any of his brother professors. Another thing which 
 has always placed him high in my estimation is, that 
 I nev'er once saw him unprepared, and never yet found 
 him wrong. He and I might differ at the time 
 concerning some slight grammatical construction, 
 but I have invariably found, on after consideration of 
 the subject, that he was right. Looking back, there- 
 fore, at the time spent in his class, and the effect left 
 upon myself, I can trace many things to him, and not 
 the least is that love of accuracy which pervades 
 every part of his character." 
 
 " That is just my own experience ", said Hector. 
 " I used to despise him and make fun of his ways, 
 and though I can still laugh heartily at the excellent 
 speech given us as an admirable imitation of 
 ' George ', yet I can admire talent wherever it is, 
 and give honour where it is due." 
 
 " Yes ; but he is so methodical, from his walk up 
 even to the very curl on the front of his brow." 
 
 " Granted", said Hector. " It is that very method 
 which has made the man. Let us laugh at his 
 peculiarities but admire his talents." 
 
 Hurrah! Three cheers for Geordie and his 
 funny ways ", cried they all. "And for the Sabines! " 
 
 "And for their intended husbands, not forgetting 
 my particular friend here ", cried Lockhart. 
 
 "Drat it; won't you stop it? 1 tell you I'll leave 
 the room if you continue it any longer", said my 
 cousin, giving a look in the direction of the door. 
 
 "All right, old boy. We will then really believe 
 you are engaged to the fair Sabine."
 
 CHAPTER X 
 
 Sunt quos curriculo pulverem Olympicum 
 Collegisse juvat. 
 
 —Horace: ''Odes", I, i, 3-4. 
 
 " Well, coz, how are you getting on in your classes 
 and with j'-our companions ? " inquired my cousin 
 Frank, one evening, as he threw himself upon my 
 easy chair after Hghting his pipe. 
 
 "Very well with both. I cannot say that I find 
 the work in the classes difficult, thanks to my late 
 parish schoolmaster." 
 
 "No; I should say not. In fact, in a person very 
 well prepared, the first year is apt to breed lazy, 
 indolent habits, for no one— not even the most con- 
 scientious of scholars — is inclined to revise what he 
 already knows." 
 
 " I find I have to fight against this. The Greek, 
 however, keeps me pretty much up to work, and 
 'George's' peculiarities are sometimes a source of 
 trouble to me." 
 
 " You are all the better of that, and, let me tell 
 you, if you pay attention to them now, it will be a 
 great advantage to you afterwards, when the end of 
 the session conies and the revision takes place. 
 You will find that remark of Hector come true, that 
 no professor will have a greater influence for good 
 upon you in the future than 'George'. His accuracies 
 and niceties have their good effects even now."
 
 106 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " I know it, for I feel already that I am a better 
 translator than I was. The version was my forte 
 before, but now I would not fear to risk my reputa- 
 tion on a translation. I can now understand the full 
 advantage of a ' double ' Bageant." 
 
 " And the reason why they generally get bursaries. 
 But thank a kind Providence that you have not to try 
 that. Any marked men in your class yet?" 
 
 " One or two, and curiously enough, too, these 
 are the very men you would never have thought of. 
 Your bright, brilliant scholar soon fades away, but 
 your hard plodding, determined student makes his 
 way to the front. I have no doubt many of those 
 who stand fairly, and took a good place in the class, 
 will be nowhere when the prize list comes." 
 
 " Too often the case, my boy. I can look over a 
 few more years than you, and I can verify every 
 word you say. The race is not always to the swift, 
 nor the battle to the strong. The tortoise often 
 beats the hare at college." 
 
 "The fact is, anything can be done by grinding, 
 and without it nothing can be done that is done." 
 
 " Them's my sentiments to a T. I have ground, 
 and I know its value, and only despise those who are 
 for ever looking in fellows' faces and eyes to discover 
 the symptoms of such a delinquency. My experience 
 is that they themselves are by far the worst grinders. 
 An Admirable Crichton only appears once in a few 
 hundred years, and none of us can boast of being 
 one. Besides, I really think there is some cause for 
 boasting when one has gained his object by his own 
 exertions, and not by genius, over which he has no 
 control. No, no : let a fellow have the credit of 
 grinding, if he does it. I am sick of my fellow- 
 students and their nonsensical ways. But the fact 
 is, the thing is more rampant among Bageants than
 
 "PRIVATE" STUDENTS 107 
 
 any others. A year or two at college shows the folly 
 of it." 
 
 " Perhaps so. I wish they saw it in our class, 
 for they are a perfect nuisance. But, never mind, 
 the grinders will gain the day, and that will surely 
 open their eyes." 
 
 " You'll find your work thorough ? " 
 
 " Extremel}' so." 
 
 " In none of our Scotch colleges, and still less in 
 the English, are they so thorough in their work as 
 with us. The foundation is as well laid as the 
 superstructure is raised, and this is proved unmis- 
 takably by looking over the lists of the successful 
 candidates for the Civil and Military Services. There 
 you will recognise the names of many of those who 
 have studied at our University." 
 
 " I have noticed that." 
 
 " Another reason of our success is the com- 
 pulsory work of the class. At no other college, so 
 fas as I know, is the same system pursued. You are 
 allowed to do generally as you please with regard to 
 the manner of your work, but the subjects and 
 examinations are compulsory. There would be no 
 need of this were we all good students, imbued with 
 the same desire for learning, but, constituted as we 
 are, we are the better to have something to keep our 
 noses to the grindstone. Hence the great advantage 
 of our system: a regular course of study, compulsory 
 examinations, and no flinching from them. You will 
 know well by this time in what odium a private 
 student is held, and the reason why there are so few 
 of them. No one of any spirit would be a 'private' 
 in such a University as ours." 
 
 " In our class of ninety-five there is just one." 
 
 "Just so; and that shows you how much real 
 work there is in the class. You have a contest with
 
 108 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 ninety-four instead of with only a few. All these are 
 kept to some extent at their work, and if they do not 
 all leave as learned as the best scholars, there is no 
 doubt they will be much better than when they came. 
 They are kept to their work by their fear of the 
 professors, the necessity for the work being done, 
 the compulsory examinations, and the opprobrium 
 attaching to those who ' stick '. Hence, I say, arises 
 the great superiority of our students at those public 
 examinations where young men are tested." 
 
 "There is no doubt it must have its advantages, 
 and turn out a greater number of average good 
 scholars than the other system." 
 
 " Besides, it is better for young men to have their 
 course of education chalked out for them. Young 
 men are too apt to change, and when they flit about 
 from one branch of study to another, are sure to do 
 no good with any. I have found the benefit of it 
 myself, and I have no doubt many will say the same. 
 I know that at most, if not all, of the other colleges, 
 the time of many young men has been wasted and 
 frittered away, so that when the course was finished 
 they knew far less than we did in ours. Some may 
 think we have too many subjects, but if a fellow 
 really sets himself to work, and grinds conscien- 
 tiously, I have no doubt he will be able to make a 
 very creditable appearance. A real grinder was 
 never yet known to ' stick '." 
 
 " I should think not." 
 
 " By the way, how are you getting on with your 
 class-fellows?" 
 
 " Pretty well, but I find them very uncouth." 
 
 "True, but you must remember that the great 
 majority of them have not been born in the same 
 rank of life as you, or been brought up in a manse 
 like me, but that, like Cincinnatus, they left the
 
 THE ACADEMIC CINCINNATUS 109 
 
 plough, and entered by their own exertions this seat 
 of Hellenistic lore. The majority of those who 
 compose your class come, no doubt, from the lower 
 ranks of life, and it is no disgrace, but a great 
 honour to them, that they do so. Their great aim in 
 life, their thoughts by day and their dreams by 
 night, have been a bursary. ' Oh for a bursary ! 
 Oh for a bursary'! has been their continual cry and 
 earnest prayer. Certain of this, they were certain 
 of everything else, and now that they have obtained 
 it they will live on oatmeal and herring that they 
 may lose none of the crumbs that fall from the lips 
 of their professors. It is a fact that the self-denial 
 of some of these men is almost more than human, and 
 would scarcely be believed if told. And when the 
 session is over, and they have left the hall, proud of 
 their prize or their place in the order of merit, they 
 will return to their native hills, straths, or islands, 
 and resume their old occupations. These they will 
 continue until the beginning of the next session, 
 seizing every moment of leisure to prepare them- 
 selves for the entrance examinations. Full of 
 robust health and strength, valuing as they really 
 do the education which has been granted to them, is 
 it any wonder that these fellows grind like horses 
 and carry off all our best prizes? Hard work is 
 their allotted portion in life, and what would be 
 murder to you and me is mere child's play to them." 
 
 " We have a number of these in our class. I 
 intend to cultivate their acquaintance and learn 
 their history. I have no doubt it will be very 
 interesting, and add other striking illustrations of the 
 peculiar characteristic of the Scotchman — his intense 
 desire for learning." 
 
 " You are right. What is more, however, our 
 college is not so aristocratic that it despises such as
 
 110 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 these. Though I beUeve we are the richest in 
 Scotland, we wiHingly accept all and sundry. The 
 son of the cottar is as acceptable as the son of the 
 laird ; indeed, we are more inclined to accept the 
 former, because he is generally made of more 
 talented material. It is our boast, too, that we have 
 done more to elevate that class than any other 
 college in the three kingdoms, thanks to our excellent 
 bursary endowments, open to all comers." 
 
 " They are undoubtedly a noble institution." 
 
 " The best that could have been devised, con- 
 sidering that the living at college is so cheap. And 
 to prove their efficiency, I would ask anyone to look 
 over the northern half of Scotland, and I'll guarantee 
 that the majority of those holding the responsible 
 situations were bursars either at this or the neigh- 
 bouring University. I have heard it also said that 
 most of the tenant farmers in this and many other 
 counties are Masters of Arts, or have been a session 
 or two at college, and that many of their labourers 
 even have been in our classrooms. The bursary 
 system has done more for first-class education than 
 any other system thought of, and it will be a sorry 
 day when it is changed." 
 
 " It will." 
 
 "And yet, it is not surprising that such results 
 should be forthcoming. You have no doubt heard 
 many wondrous stories regarding those who attend 
 our universities : the hardships which they undergo, 
 and the sacrifices made by their parents and families 
 that they may see one of their number ' wag his pow 
 in a poopit.' I do not think any of these are 
 exaggerated, for I have met instances, since I came 
 here, which would make an Englishman stare and a 
 graduate of Oxford or Cambridge declare that I was 
 stating a tissue of falsehoods. As our session lasts
 
 MINISTERIAL ADVISERS 111 
 
 during only the winter months, at the most twenty- 
 four weeks, these young men from the country, of 
 whom the greater part of our students are composed, 
 embrace this opportunity of obtaining a session at 
 college, because they then can perform little work at 
 home. The money which they make during the 
 summer easily keeps them here, for their habits and 
 method of living are indeed very plebeian, and little 
 calculated to encourage refinement of manners. 
 Thus, you see, our universities are national, and 
 spread through the whole community the knowledge 
 which they possess. It is a fact which will bear no 
 denial, that Scotland has a greater proportion of 
 matriculated students to the population than any 
 other country in Europe, and, of course, in the whole 
 world, and this, no doubt, is owing to the cheapness 
 of living and education at our colleges, and the 
 excellent system of endowment which almost all of 
 them possess." 
 
 "And, what is also of very great moment, a respect 
 for learning and an appreciation of scholarly attain- 
 ments in others are fostered." 
 
 "As witness the respect for the ministers which is 
 shown by every class of the population. And yet, in 
 general, they deserve it all, for, besides being good 
 ministers, they foster and encourage among their 
 parishioners that love for learning which they 
 themselves experienced in their youth, and readily 
 help forward those who are likely to excel at college." 
 
 " I could give numerous instances of that myself, 
 and many others could say that no one helped to 
 smooth away their difficulties more frequently, 
 assiduously, and tenderly than the minister." 
 
 " But let me state another thing about our college 
 which I admire. It is its democratic spirit. Go to 
 Oxford, Cambridge, or any other university in our
 
 112 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 own country, and you will find that rank, position, 
 wealth are the things that generally hold sway. Here 
 it is completeh^ different. The rich fellow who 
 cannot make a good appearance in his class is laughed 
 at ; the man of rank who cannot answer the simplest 
 question regarding some peculiarity of the Greek or 
 Latin language is made the butt of his class though 
 he were as rich as Croesus or the son of the head of a 
 clan. On the other hand, the young man who has 
 spent his summer months in building dykes around 
 the fields of his more fortunate compeer, is looked 
 up to, respected, and considered the first man in his 
 class, because he is not afraid to stand up and give 
 his intelligent opinion regarding some of Geordie's 
 niceties. That's what I call estimating people at 
 their real value. Here decidedly the ' man's the 
 gowd'. Burns would have been delighted with our 
 college, and would have declared that here, at least, 
 'A man's a man for a' that'." 
 
 " But do you really mean to say that talent is not 
 appreciated at the other colleges?" 
 
 " I do not say that talent is not appreciated, but 
 I say that rank and wealth are, with the majority, 
 looked up to more than talent. You do not find a man 
 taking his position among his fellows according to the 
 appearance he makes in his classes as you do here. 
 True, at the close of the session, for one day or so, 
 talent is predominant, and the prize-takers are the 
 observed of all observers. But in general it is the 
 very opposite, and the college is only an epitome of 
 the world. The man of wealth, the man who for 
 generations has held his head above his fellows, is 
 looked up to and worshipped." 
 
 " But surely this is not the case at all the 
 universities?" 
 
 "As far as I can judge at all. It is useless
 
 "MANNERS MAKETH MAN" 113 
 
 mentioning Oxford or Cambridge, for the expense of 
 education there effectually precludes any students 
 from the lower ranks, and thus riches and position 
 have their full swing. But at the other Scotch 
 universities, as far as I can learn, it is the same, 
 with scarcely an exception. At our sister University, 
 of which I can speak more accurately, there is a 
 toadying to the rich which is unknown here. There 
 the students are composed of young fellows chiefly 
 from the same place — the city, and this, no doubt, 
 may in part account for it. Here, however, the 
 majority of the students are from the country, and 
 being unknown to the professors, all are treated alike. 
 I'll take a bet that you will not find the like at any 
 other college in the Kingdom ; in fact, it is so 
 rare that it reminds one of the French — ' Liberty, 
 Equality, Fraternity'." 
 
 " It is, to say the least of it, nothing but justice." 
 
 "Ay; but when do you obtain justice in this 
 world ? Certainly not at many of our seats of 
 learning — among the students at least. But let me 
 mention another of our peculiarities, the equality and 
 fraternity already mentioned. You will have noticed 
 that when any students attempt the genteel, and 
 think themselves better than the rest, the conceit is 
 soon taken out of them. There is no place less 
 tolerant of assumption than our college. I am sure 
 you must have noticed this." 
 
 " Often, not only among ourselves, but also with 
 the professors." 
 
 " True ; with Geordie, for instance, and many 
 others. I would like to see the students somewhat 
 more respectful in their behaviour towards the 
 professors, for in this many of them are wanting, 
 but when one considers that, perhaps, they were 
 never in the presence of such distinguished person- 
 9
 
 114 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 ages before, one can overlook and make allowance 
 for instances of boorishness." 
 
 " But it is their positive rudeness I complain of." 
 " Well, it may not be meant as rudeness by them, 
 as I have often proved. A few there are in every 
 class who set themselves against their professors, 
 and take every opportunity of annoying them, but 
 these are generally students of little talent, and soon 
 find their proper place in the class. Practical joking 
 at the expense of a professor never does any good to 
 a student." 
 
 " I suppose not, particularly if the professor finds 
 
 it out." 
 
 "And he almost invariably does so, or has a very 
 good idea of it. Take my word for it, indulge in 
 none, if you value your reputation. But I forgot 
 you had set your face against all practical joking." 
 
 "And I intend to keep my resolution, if I can." 
 
 " Quite right. You will have enough to do by and 
 by without doing that. When the revision time 
 comes you will not find time hang heavily on your 
 hands. This revision is a capital system for keeping 
 one up in his work, as also the examination in the 
 class, at entrance and at the commencement of each 
 session. It is this that makes us such accurate 
 scholars, and gives us such high places at the public 
 examinations. Knowing this, I am not surprised to see 
 a London examining professor declare that he can at 
 once pick out students from our college, when brought 
 up for examination, by the thorough manner in 
 which they go thorough the minor as well as the 
 principal details of the work. We have been long 
 noted for our classical attainments, and if we go on as 
 we are doing we will become more famous for our 
 mathematical." 
 
 " O yes ; we have become famous for them of late."
 
 THE NORTHERN OLYiMPIAD 115 
 
 " I should think so, when we number far more 
 Senior Wranglers at Cambridge than all the other 
 Scotch colleges put together. I hope I shall soon 
 have to add your name to the list." 
 
 "After yours, of course." 
 
 " I'll be most happy to set you the example, as my 
 friend Slessor did. He was the first of our Senior 
 Wranglers." 
 
 How many have we now?" 
 
 " I believe it is them all except one, that is, four ; 
 rather a goodly number in twice as many years. 
 We ought to be proud of our connexion with this old 
 'Alma Mater'." 
 
 " We ought." 
 
 "And, mind you, the whole of our Senior 
 Wranglers, with perhaps one exception, have come 
 from the ranks I spoke of — those whom our college 
 delights to honour. All of them were bursars, and, 
 had they not, would never have been able, with the 
 exception mentioned, to have come forward at all. If 
 this does not speak volumes for the excellence of our 
 bursary system I don't know what does." 
 
 " It makes one feel proud of it, and inclines him 
 to shout — ' Hurrah for our bursary system — for the 
 last Monday in October, the Northern Olympiad. 
 May its shadow never grow less, and may as many 
 be benefited by it in the future as in the past ! ' " 
 
 " Well, if Broad Street Academy and our Crown 
 be joined, there will certainly be a change, and that 
 not in favour of the poor man. It is for us, then, to 
 do everything in our power to oppose this, and to 
 keep up that rivalry which has been and still is 
 wholesome. Besides, I consider it infm dig. to have 
 anything to do with that puerile establishment." 
 
 " The burghers of the new town would not 
 think so, I can tell you."
 
 116 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " No doubt, no doubt. It is right that everyone 
 should stick up for his own, and I do not blame them 
 for it : but to compare it with our world-renowned 
 edifice — why, that is a presumption I cannot fathom", 
 and my cousin, rising from his seat, lighted his pipe 
 at the gas, and puffed out huge volumes of smoke, 
 as if in mortal contempt of all creation.
 
 CHAPTER XI 
 
 It is good to be merry, you know, 
 
 Ere the windows are dark in the street, 
 Ere the sound of the grinding is low, 
 
 And the evil days chance you to meet. 
 When the ahnond tree blossoms in flower. 
 
 When clouds come apace after rain, 
 When sun, moon, and stars seem to lower — 
 
 O, believe me, you'll often be fain 
 To find your best cheer 
 For the days that are near 
 
 In the dream you're a Bajan again. 
 
 — Alma Mater, XVI, 7, 
 
 "October." (W. K. L.). 
 
 One night, while preparing my Greek lesson, a note 
 was handed in, which read thus: — 
 
 " Mr. Lockhart presents his compliments to his 
 friend Mac, and will be happy to have his company 
 at a Sytnposium in his rooms at ten o'clock. Punctu- 
 ality strictly enforced. 
 
 "P.S.— Mr. L. will feel obliged if Mr. M. can 
 bring with him a few glasses, as his have gone the 
 way of all the earth. Whisky ad libitutn, but a 
 dearth of lump sugar and toddy ladles." 
 
 Acting upon the suggestion given, I pocketed a 
 few of my strongest and cheapest wine glasses, and, 
 having purchased from a grocer a few pounds of 
 lump sugar, I was found at the door of my friend 
 exactly at the hour named. 
 
 " All right, friend Mac. Punctuality is the soul 
 of business ; procrastination is the thief of time, as
 
 118 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 our old copies used to say, which I have never 
 forgotten. It would be well that more golden 
 maxims were impressed there. Ah! you are a gentle- 
 man ! Just the very thing wanted. All my glasses 
 were broken the other night by a few of my friends 
 who got rather cantankerous, and commenced 
 pitching them at one another. On looking them 
 over I did not find one whole in all its parts. Yes, 
 this is the kind — good, strong, substantial fellows 
 that will stand a rap, and when they do get broken 
 make you feel that you have not sustained any 
 great loss. Mine were all cut, but after this I shall 
 not commit such a grievous mistake. Ah, lump 
 sugar! Why, sir, your kindness, etc., etc. Just put 
 it down upon the table, and we will soon make a 
 few inroads upon it. I hope all my friends are as 
 mindful as you. But here comes that mad cousin of 
 yours. There is surely something up with him 
 to-night." 
 
 As he spoke a thundering rap was heard at the 
 door, and, on opening it, my cousin stalked in, with 
 a huge kettle in one hand and a large pail in the 
 other. 
 
 " Hullo, old fellow ! What's up ? " 
 
 " Nothing particular, as far as I know. As I was 
 coming along I thought I might bring something 
 that might be of service to us, and add to our even- 
 ing's enjoyment. Knowing the great dearth of warm 
 water the last time I was in your lodgings, I thought 
 it advisable to bring this large kettle ; and as there 
 is no water like that of the Spa Well for toddy, I 
 have brought this kettle full, as also the pail which I 
 have in my hand. Put it on the fire, will you?" 
 
 " My dear fellow, your kindness and attention is 
 insupportable. Of course, we will put it on the fire. 
 As for that pail, we will put it in the corner, so that
 
 THE WELL OF SPA 119 
 
 no one in his erratic movements may turn it over or 
 sit down on it. All right ; that will do." 
 
 "And what's the drink, friend Lockhart?" 
 
 " Of course, the pure and unadulterated produce 
 of the still." 
 
 " No foreign article, I hope." 
 
 " My dear sir, you offend me. Let me tell you 
 that I have had a visit to-day from my father's 
 servant, who has kindly brought me a gallon, brewed 
 by himself in the wilds of Glenbuich. I can assure 
 you it never saw the gauger." 
 
 "All right, my boy. Lest there should not be 
 enough I have brought the following", and he placed 
 two bottles on the table. 
 
 " O, thank you, but we never mix our drink. But, 
 not to offend you, put the bottles in the cupboard, 
 and we'll see about it. There's some more of our 
 friends." 
 
 So saying, he walked to the door, and returned 
 with Fender and Allan. The latter, after congratu- 
 lations and inquiries were past, unwrapped his plaid, 
 and produced from its folds half a dozen tumblers. 
 
 " I think this will make up for the few we broke 
 the other night. They will not break so easily, I'll 
 wager. I brought these because they were a new 
 patent taken out by my friend Fender, who has 
 entered that line of business since he quarrelled 
 with Geordie." 
 
 " You be hanged ", said P'ender. 
 
 " No, thank you, I'd rather not. Pray note how 
 like a barrel they are, and the fact that when they 
 tumble on the table they roll along and do not 
 break", and, suiting the action to the word, he threw 
 one down which rolled along, and, had it not been 
 caught by my cousin, would likely have gone to 
 pieces on the floor.
 
 120 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " It strikes me it will be a bad spec for the toddy 
 should they fall in that manner." 
 
 " O, you ignoramus ! Do you not know that 
 when toddy, or any other substance, has been 
 inserted into these tumblers the centre of gravity is 
 lowered and there is less danger of their falling." 
 
 " We shall see. Time will prove it, as it does 
 many other things." 
 
 "'Where ignorance is bliss', etc. It is easily 
 seen you have never been with Davie." 
 
 "All right, old fellow", said Fender. Do you 
 intend to monopolise the whole conversation ? I 
 think, Lockhart, you said you were in need of toddy 
 ladles? Well, here are a dozen belonging to my 
 landlady, but as they are silver, and she knows 
 nothing of my having surreptitiously removed them, 
 I hope the gentlemen present will have some respect 
 for the said articles, and not pocket them during the 
 evening." 
 
 "Shame! Shame!" "Put him out! Put him 
 out!" 
 
 " Gentlemen, you need not trouble yourselves, as 
 I do not intend to go, and my days of shame are 
 over. I only speak from past experience, as I have 
 lost unlimited numbers of knives and walking-sticks 
 since I came to this quarter. And the curious part 
 of it is, that I always discover a loss after a visit 
 from some of my friends here." 
 
 " Names ! " " Names ! " 
 
 "Well, really, if I were to give any names I would 
 have to give all." 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! " came from the whole room, while 
 Lockhart said, " I'll take the responsibility of the 
 silver-plate on my shoulders, and if any are lost 
 will make them good. But I know I have only to 
 request the gentlemen to be forbearing on the
 
 A MARISCHAL MEDICAL 121 
 
 present occasion, and it will be done. Peculation as 
 regards knives and walking-sticks may be tolerated, 
 but in the case of silver ladles it is beneath the 
 dignity of a gentleman student." 
 
 " Hear ! hear ! We'll watch over his silver-plate 
 — his toddy ladles that never received the Govern- 
 ment stamp." 
 
 As this was said, another rap was heard at the 
 door, which Lockhart opened, and introduced three 
 more gentlemen. One was Givan. The other two 
 were comparative strangers to me, though they 
 seemed on very good terms with the rest of the 
 company, but I afterwards learned their names were 
 Adams and Keith. Adams placed a box of cigars on 
 the table ; Givan a large pot, afterwards discovered 
 to contain strawberry jam ; while Keith drew from 
 under his Highland cloak a mysterious -looking 
 parcel, which afterwards turned out to be his 
 favourite Cremona. 
 
 " Thanks ! Many thanks, gentlemen ! I cannot 
 express my gratitude to you just now, but later in 
 the evening I may be able to do so. Meantime, as 
 we have all arrived punctually to order, we shall 
 adjourn to the other room and see if we can get 
 anything to eat." 
 
 Having done so, our eyes were greeted by a most 
 substantial supper, to which we sat down and did 
 ample justice. 
 
 While this was going on the chat was free and 
 easy and of a kind altogether new to me. It 
 consisted of a variety of subjects different from our 
 usual, rising often into the higher regions of thought. 
 You could hear at one end of the table a learned 
 disquisition concerning the inner consciousness of 
 man and the theory of innate ideas; while at the 
 other, the comparative merits of Tennyson and
 
 122 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Browning, and which would become the more popular, 
 was the subject of a most vigorous and animated 
 debate. Again, in the middle of the table, there was 
 a discussion regarding the Highland and Lowland 
 races, and which had done the greater amount of 
 benefit to mankind. Nothing was talked of that at all 
 related to work at college or our future course in 
 life ; not a single item regarding our professors, or 
 the probable chances of any of us in the future 
 examinations. All seemed to be thrown aside, and 
 everything "shoppy" forgotten. 
 
 And now, having demolished the greater part of a 
 ham, a tongue, some cold meat, and several other 
 items that were on the table — not forgetting the 
 strawberry jam, which was pronounced to be 
 delicious — the " wreck " was cleared and the real 
 amusement of the evening began. The gallon jar 
 was set in the middle of the table, and Allan's 
 tumblers and my glasses having been distributed, 
 one to each, we filled a bumper, and pouring some of 
 my cousin's Spa water from the kettle, which he had 
 placed on the fire, and by accurate observations 
 ascertained that it was boiling, we brewed a tumbler, 
 and lighting our cigars, prepared to enjoy the evening. 
 
 The talk had been general and on all sorts of 
 topics until the first tumbler was drunk, when my 
 cousin, ordering all to brew another, said he had a 
 toast to propose, to which he hoped all would charge 
 their glasses and do ample justice. When this was 
 done, he rose and said : — 
 
 " Gentlemen,— I rise to propose the health of a 
 certain gentleman who is well known to you all. He 
 has been the companion of almost all of us for some 
 years, and we have had numerous opportunities of 
 proving his friendship and fellowship. On no occasion 
 have we experienced this more than on the present.
 
 HEALTH OF THE HOST 123 
 
 I need not say to you, therefore, that I propose the 
 health of our illustrious host, whose goodness of 
 heart is beyond all praise. His principal delight 
 seems to be in making others happy, and distributing 
 his favours to those who can appreciate them. No 
 sooner does this article which stands in our midst 
 make its appearance (and that was only this afternoon) 
 than his kindness of heart outflowed to us fellow- 
 mortals, and he sat down and indited those epistles 
 which each of you received only a short time ago. 
 In tendering our thanks to him, let us not forget the 
 kind friend who manufactured and brought the 
 gallon jar and its contents. I propose, therefore, the 
 health of our illustrious host — may his shadow never 
 grow less, and may his grey-beard pig never be 
 empty ! Lockhart's health ! Three cheers for 
 Lockhart ! Hip! hip! hurrah! Hurrah! hurrah! 
 One cheer more — Hurrah ! hurrah ! and one for the 
 future Mrs. Lockhart, the Sabine maiden ! Hurrah! 
 hurrah ! 
 
 For he's a jolly good fellow. 
 
 For he's a jolly good fellow, 
 
 For he's a jolly good fellow, 
 Which nobody can deny. 
 
 With a hip, hip, hip, hurrah. 
 
 With a hip, hip, hip, hurrah, 
 
 For he's a jolly good fellow. 
 
 For he's a jolly good fellow. 
 
 For he's a jolly good fellow. 
 Which nobody can deny. 
 
 Can you, can you, can you ? 
 
 Can you, can you, can you ? 
 
 Not I, not I, not I, 
 
 Not I, not I, not I, 
 
 For he's a jolly good fellow, 
 Which nobody can deny. 
 
 "Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! One cheer more, 
 hurrah ! "
 
 124 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Amid the jingling of glasses, the rattling of 
 tumblers, and the cheers of the assembled company, 
 Lockhart rose to reply. 
 
 " Gentlemen, — I blush with conscious shame at the 
 flattering manner in which the toast of my health 
 has been drunk. I don't merit this for such a small 
 matter as a gallon jar. In fact, the party who 
 brought it said I was to melt it with my friends, and 
 I am only performing his orders. I hope, therefore, 
 we will do this, to-night, to the best of our ability. 
 You know that there is nothing gives me greater 
 delight than to see the bottle passing round and 
 everyone enjoying himself. In such a scene I derive 
 more pleasure than you can imagine. The study of 
 old Homer is a theme on which we cannot expatiate 
 too highly, the eloquence of Cicero stirs up the soul 
 and makes us believe we are Romans, but a glass 
 of our real, genuine, unadulterated dew of the 
 mountain does more to promote friendship, hilarity, 
 and good fellowship than all the wisdom of Greece 
 and Rome. Horace talks of the joy of sipping a 
 cup of old Falernian with his friend Maecenas, but 
 what would have been his feelings had he been 
 permitted by the gods to drink of that dew, that was 
 distilled in Glenbuich and watered by the pure 
 stream that flowed from the Spa? He would have 
 called it more than nectar — a drink fit for more than 
 gods. As another convivial immortal bard has 
 said about our national drink — 
 
 Thou clears the head o' doited Lear, 
 Thou cheers the heart o' drooping Care, 
 Thou strings the nerves o' Labour sair 
 
 At's weary toil, 
 Thou even brightens dark Despair 
 
 Wi' gloomy smile. 
 
 Therefore, gentlemen, say I, enjoy yourselves as well
 
 AN UNTRACED LARK 125 
 
 as you can, and add to your happiness as long as 
 there is anything in the jar" — (applause). 
 
 " One of my friends referred to the future 
 Mrs. Lockhart, and made a base insinuation regarding 
 a certain young lady who lives on a Sabine farm. 
 Now, although I would not object to such a person 
 at some future period of my life, yet at the present 
 time I am inclined to remain in static quo, and to let 
 the Sabine virgins alone. In fact, I may tell you all, 
 confidentially of course, that there is nothing in it, 
 and that there is not the slightest foundation for the 
 rumour." 
 
 " Remember the Belfast ham ", cried my cousin, 
 amid roars of laughter. 
 
 " I do, and can remember the flavour of it also ", 
 replied he, amid renewed roars of laughter: "but 
 though one may be treated to such a delicious morsel 
 occasionally, that is no reason why he should be 
 paying his addresses to the daughters of the house. 
 Does the policeman who is treated to the best in the 
 larder by Sarah Jane, the housemaid, presume to 
 look up to the daughter of her mistress ? I trow not. 
 Therefore, say I, let every one look to his own, and 
 let those who live in glass houses throw no stones. 
 
 " But, gentlemen, let me again thank you for the 
 kindly manner in which you have drunk my health. 
 I only hope that you will enjoy yourselves, and that 
 the hilarity of the evening will be uninterrupted. And 
 now, let me call upon that interpolator on all occasions, 
 Frank Jamieson, for a song. Come, old boy, give us 
 something good, and up to the mark of student life. 
 Mr. Jamieson's song, gentlemen ! Mr. Jamieson's 
 song. Let us have that one about the student. It 
 will make us quite cheery — eh ! " 
 
 Thus addressed, my cousin sang the following 
 called —
 
 126 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 THE SONG OF THE STUDENT. 
 
 Air—" The Song of the Shirt." 
 
 With body weary and worn, 
 
 With eychds heavy and red, 
 A young man sat, and a lons^ing glance 
 
 Was thrown on his lowly bed. 
 Grind— grind — grind 
 
 Till your head is like to break ; 
 Work through the livelong night, 
 
 For your honour is at stake. 
 
 Grind — grind — grind 
 
 Till the brain begins to swim ; 
 Grind — grind — grind 
 
 Till the eyes are heavy and dim ; 
 Homer, Virgil, Euclid, 
 
 With numerous others, I ween, 
 Till over my lessons I fall asleep, 
 
 And get them all in a dream. 
 
 O dominies, why do you give 
 
 Such lessons for students to get ? 
 'Tis wearing out their precious lives 
 
 By keeping them up so late. 
 Grind — grind — grind 
 
 Throughout the livelong night, 
 This harassing cannot be borne. 
 
 For it passes human might. 
 
 My eyes are dull and dim. 
 
 My brain reels to and fro, 
 My spirits, once so light. 
 
 Arc now exceeding low ; 
 My voice grows hollow, too. 
 
 My cheeks more pale and thin, 
 And something tells me true 
 
 I am not right within. 
 
 Grind— grind — grind 
 
 In the dull December light, 
 
 Grind— grind— grind. 
 
 And work with all my might !
 
 "THE SONG OF THE STUDENT" 127 
 
 But oh! if while I work 
 
 The seeds of death are sown, 
 What profit will it be 
 
 If honour's all my own ? 
 
 While grind — grind — grind 
 
 Sounds ever in my ear, 
 The shades of death will come 
 
 And stretch me on my bier; 
 My eyes on life will close 
 
 When all is bright and fair, 
 I'll mingle with the dust. 
 
 And be of those that were. 
 
 Oh ! for but one short hour 
 
 To close my weary eyes, 
 But visions cross my mind 
 
 Of losing every prize. 
 A little sleep would case my limbs, 
 
 And cool my aching head ; 
 But I must not think of ease or rest 
 
 When stretched upon my bed. 
 
 With body weary and worn, 
 
 With eyelids heavy and red, 
 A young man sat, and a longing glance 
 
 Was thrown on his lowly bed. 
 Grind — grind — grind 
 
 Till your head is like to break ; 
 Work through the livelong night, 
 
 For your honour is at stake. 
 
 " Mr. Jamieson's health and song, gentlemen ! 
 Mr. Jamieson's health and song ! May his poor body 
 never be worn to a skeleton, and may his head never 
 ache by hard grinding ! " 
 
 " Not if I know it and can help it ', replied he. 
 
 " But there's the difficulty, old boy — you cannot 
 help it. You must grind. The professors will not 
 give you rest, but keep you at it morning, noon, and 
 night." 
 
 " For my own part ", said Fender, " I don't see
 
 128 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 any use in grinding. You are only laughed at by your 
 fellow-students, and made the butt of the class. Why 
 not enjoy life as well as you can, and take it easy ? 
 There is no use of killing oneself to please the 
 professors." 
 
 " No fear of you doing that. Fender", said 
 Lockhart. 
 
 " I think Fender is right ", said Allan. " I look at 
 it in a future point of view, and there is really no 
 advantage to be gained by it. The fellow who gained 
 the £60 Mathematical two years ago, and nearly 
 killed himself, has not now nearly so good a situation 
 as my cousin, who never prepared a lesson and 
 at no time was higher than twelfth in the order of 
 merit." 
 
 " That may be ", said my cousin, " but I hope I 
 have within me the desire to excel, and be somewhat 
 better than my neighbours." 
 
 But what's the use ? " said Fender. " When I 
 came up this year I was made melancholy for a 
 week by the accounts given me of my old companions. 
 Some were dead and others unable to appear through 
 excessive grinding last session." Here the company 
 burst into loud laughter, not at the illness of their 
 fellow-student, but at the idea of Fender being sad. 
 
 "Are you sure of that, Fender, and was it for a 
 whole week?" 
 
 "Quite; and from that time I determined never 
 to injure my health by grinding." 
 
 " No, and I have no doubt you never will." 
 
 "And yet, I think, you are wrong thus to condemn 
 grinding", said Lockhart. "Grinding is just hard 
 work, and hard work must be gone through before 
 one can rise to any position in his profession. What 
 I object to in students is the desire to appear clever, 
 to seem to be able to go through all their work
 
 GRINDING 129 
 
 without any labour. In no other field of enterprise 
 would the same thing be thought of." 
 
 "Yes, and what is more", said my cousin, "they 
 affect to despise all those who do grind or work as 
 they ought to do. Allow me to say that I, for one, 
 respect a grinder." 
 
 " Because you are one yourself," said Fender. 
 
 " Well, and though I am, is it any disgrace, and 
 will it be any detriment to me at the end of the 
 session ? I should hope that when I leave college 
 I may have some slight satisfaction in my own mind 
 that I have not altogether thrown away my oppor- 
 tunities, but that I have reaped some benefit." 
 
 " I suppose we all have, either more or less. For 
 my own part, though my parents intend me for the 
 church, I think I should have made a better farmer." 
 
 " No doubt ", said Lockhart. " It is a pity they 
 crossed your inclination." 
 
 "And set me to grind." 
 
 " But they never managed to do that." 
 
 "True. And, therefore, I have never injured 
 my health like Jamieson, there. He is getting as 
 white as a ghost." 
 
 " Thank you for the compliment. I think I enjoy 
 as robust health as any of you ; and, what is more, 
 I am certain that I enjoy this party more than the 
 majority, because I have the satisfaction in my own 
 mind that I have done all my work and can spare 
 the time. Few of you can say that, I'll wager." 
 
 " Don't boast, Jamieson." 
 
 " I am not boasting, but I am vindicating my 
 character as a grinder." 
 
 "All right", said Lockhart, "let us change the 
 subject. Whose turn is it for a song? Let us have 
 one. Jamieson, it is your turn to call. Exercise 
 your right, old fellow." 
 10
 
 130 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 I will, and for the sake of old friendship, and 
 
 that there may be no bad feeling between us, I call 
 
 upon Fender to give us his favourite song of 
 
 'The Mermaid.' Let us have it. Gentlemen, Fender's 
 
 song." 
 
 "All right, my bo3\ But first let me replenish my 
 
 bowl, fill my glass, and wet my whistle. And now, 
 
 having done so, I shall begin, and do give us a good 
 
 chorus." 
 
 THE MERMAID. 
 
 'Twas in the Atlantic ocean, 
 
 'Mid the equinoctial gales, 
 That a man he did fall overboard 
 
 Amongst the sharks and whales. 
 His ghost appeared unto me, 
 
 Saying, "Weep no more for me. 
 For I'm married to a mer-ma-id 
 
 At the bottom of the sea. 
 
 Chorus — Rule Britannia, 
 
 Britannia rules the waves, 
 
 Britons never, never, never 
 
 Shall be slaves. 
 
 " 'Tis true that to refresh myself 
 No baccy now I get, 
 But as for with respect to that. 
 
 Myself I never fret. 
 For all your earthly happiness 
 
 Is immaterial to me. 
 For I'm married to a mer-ma-id 
 At the bottom of the sea. 
 Cliorus. 
 
 "A broken sixpence in my kist. 
 Likewise a lock of hair, 
 To Sally I sollicitize 
 
 That you will safely bear; 
 And tell to my true lovier 
 
 It was nedcessity 
 That made me wed the mer-ma-id 
 At the bottom of the sea. 
 Chortis.
 
 "THE A1ERMAID" 131 
 
 " Shurpriscd will be my com-ra-ades, 
 
 And friends I knowed on shore, 
 And my poor parents, whom, alas ! 
 
 I'll never see no more, 
 To hear that I was summonzcd 
 
 Away so suddenly. 
 And married to a mer-ma-id 
 
 At the bottom of the sea." 
 
 I heard and seed the drownded man, 
 
 My limbs with terror shook, 
 I axed him no questions. 
 
 For words my lips forsook. 
 Immediately I swounde-ed 
 
 And he said no more to me. 
 But dived down to his mer-ma-id 
 
 At the bottom of the sea. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 " Hurrah ! Fender's health and song ! Fender's 
 health and song ! " 
 
 " That's the sort of song to give — a jolly good 
 chorus, and nothing melancholic about it. Jamie- 
 son's made me sad, but yours has taken all that 
 away. That's the sort of song for a convivial party." 
 
 " Is not the death of the poor sailor melan- 
 cholic?" inquired I. 
 
 " Not at all ; it only enhances the beauty of the 
 chorus, and makes us enjoy it the better. It is a 
 splendid song," 
 
 " So like some of those grand songs of Burns', 
 that are truly convivial. There is no poet that has 
 touched that chord more truly than he." 
 
 "No, nor ever will. The Romans may boast of 
 their Horace, and the Greeks of their Anacreon, but 
 both combined could not make a Burns. He is a 
 man of men : without exception the most extra- 
 ordinary genius that ever any age produced," 
 
 " Not even excepting Shakespeare, eh ? "
 
 132 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " Nay, I would not except even him." 
 "Well, in one thing they are both alike — not very 
 pure," 
 
 "With all their faults, I love them still." 
 " No one could help it, particularly with Burns. 
 Come, give us one of his songs? Who can sing 
 them? Mac, give us one." 
 
 " No ", said my cousin, " that child is not in the 
 sentimental line. We will get another from him by 
 and by, and therefore we will call upon our friend 
 Keith, the medical, for a song from Burns. What is 
 it that you call it again ? " 
 
 " Upon my honour, I do not know. I never sing." 
 " Do you hear him? I say, friend Adams of the 
 meek face and tender eye, what is the song he is in 
 the habit of singing ? " 
 
 " I don't remember exactly, but if my memory 
 does not fail me, it is 'Willie Brewed a Peck o' Maut'. 
 If he cannot sing it, I know he can play it on his old 
 Cremona, so if he won't give you the one I would 
 have the other." 
 
 "Well, bother it, Adams", said he, "hand my 
 favourite here, and let me tune her. There's 
 nothing like being merry, and adding to the jollity." 
 So saying, he began to screw up and scrape on the 
 strings until our teeth were on edge and our 
 stomachs aching. But the rest made up for it, 
 for he played that most convivial of all songs in 
 such a style that we were all stamping on the floor 
 and humming at the tune before he was done. 
 Another and other followed, his head drawing closer 
 and closer to the old Cremona, as he became more 
 excited and rapt in his tones, and his eyes almost 
 closing with intense delight, until, falling into the air 
 of "Ye Banks and Braes o' Bonnie Doon", a solemn 
 silence fell on all, and we listened with bated breath
 
 A MARISCHAL ORPHEUS 133 
 
 as this most beautiful of all tunes came trembling 
 from the strings. Then, letting the fiddle fall on his 
 knees, he drew a long breath as if he had been 
 afraid to do so before. In the silence that succeeded, 
 Lockhart cried out " ' Quantum suf.' Gentlemen, 
 refill your glasses, and let us drink to the health of 
 the fiddler, as well as his Cremona. May its notes 
 ever be as sweet as the last." 
 
 " Upon my word, Keith, if you had continued 
 much longer you would have had me crying." 
 
 "The same with me ", said Givan. " I never felt 
 so much inclined to greet in my life, and was putting 
 round my hand for my handkerchief when he 
 stopped. Orpheus was nothing to it." 
 
 " Come, no gammon", said Keith. 
 
 " Gammon ! There's no gammon in it. By the 
 way, if Orpheus did what he did with a harp, what 
 would he have done with the fiddle ? The sun and 
 moon would have again stood still." 
 
 " But are they not grand, those Scottish songs 
 and airs ? " said Lockhart. " What should we do if 
 we lost them?" 
 
 " Do ? " said Fender. " Why, we should die. Do 
 you suppose we should live after the annihilation of 
 our language? No, sir. As long as our songs exist 
 our language will, and that will be for ever. Some 
 declare that it will be swamped by the omnipotent 
 English, but, in my opinion, it will live as long as the 
 heather blooms on our heath-clad hills, as long as 
 the mimic waves break on the shores of our lovely 
 lakes, as long as the water ripples over the pebbles 
 of our sweetly-flowing rivers, as long as the Scottish 
 thistle waves on her hills or fades in her valleys, as 
 long as her mountains hold up their craggy peaks into 
 the clear blue of heaven, as long as her banks and 
 her braes, her glens and her hills exist — so long will
 
 134 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 her songs, the sweetest and the hest in any language, 
 remain the dehght and joy of all that hear them. If 
 they were to die, and be for ever blotted out, we 
 would expect the hills to groan, the lakes to lash 
 their shores, the glens and the valleys to weep, and 
 the thistle to droop and die." 
 
 "Hullo! old fellow, are you turned poetical, or 
 have you gone daft ? It is well you have run short 
 of breath, for if you had gone on in that way much 
 longer we would all have been out of our minds." 
 
 " My dear fellow, don't make a fool of yourself 
 and other people. You don't know how enthusiastic 
 I get when I think of our Scottish songs." 
 
 I have some idea from the present instance. 
 Do you often get that way ? " 
 
 " You shut up, else I'll shy this tumbler at 
 your head. Let us have another tumbler. You are 
 neglecting your duty as host. If you do not attend 
 to it I will." 
 
 I beg your pardon, gentlemen. Refill, and drink 
 to my friend Fender's health for giving us such a 
 grand poetical oration." 
 
 " I am much obliged to you, gentlemen, but at 
 the same time would inquire what has become of 
 that song promised us from our friend Mac ? Has 
 he got primed yet, or does he require another 
 tumbler? Light another cigar, old fellow, and that 
 will bring you up to the mark. By the way, Adams, 
 these are splendid cigars. You must have bought 
 them from the fellow with the broad hat and the 
 swaggering gait." 
 
 I am glad they please you. They, like the 
 whisky, have never seen the gauger." 
 
 "All the better of that. I say, Mac, come along. 
 I know you can sing by the look of your physog and 
 the contour of your nose."
 
 "THE CRUISKEEN LAWN" 135 
 
 Come now, Fender, don't be personal", said my 
 
 cousm 
 
 All right, my boy ; I shall not take your cousin's 
 name or face in vain." 
 
 " You need not trouble yourself about that, since 
 it does not trouble me. If the rest of the gentlemen 
 are ready, I shall be happy to give them my song, 
 and do let us have a rattling chorus." 
 
 CRUISKEEN LAWN. 
 
 Let the farmer praise his grounds, 
 Let the huntsman praise his hounds, 
 
 And talk of the things they have done ; 
 But we, more bhthc than they, 
 Spend each jolly night and day 
 O'er a smiling little cruiskeen lawn. 
 Chorus — Gramachree ma cruiskeen, 
 Slaintc goal mavourneen, 
 Gramachree a coolin bawn, 
 Bawn, bawn, bawn, 
 O, gramachree ma cruiskeen lawn. 
 O, professors, you are asses. 
 And we hate your cursed classes. 
 
 For there we do nothing but yawn ; 
 It's sure we're better far. 
 Here sitting as we are. 
 O'er a smiling little cruiskeen lawn. 
 
 Cliorus. 
 
 And if you should refuse 
 Our certificates to sign, 
 
 And talk of the ways we've gone on ; 
 Then, you devils, if you please. 
 Just hand us back our fees. 
 
 And we'll have another cruiskeen lawn. 
 
 Clwrtis. 
 
 Immortal and divine, 
 
 Great Bacchus, god of wine, 
 
 Make me by adoption thy son ; 
 And when this life is done. 
 And the sand of life is run, 
 
 Let us have another cruiskeen lawn. 
 
 Chorus.
 
 136 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " Hurrah ! Mac's health and song ! Mac's health 
 and song ! Well done, old boy ; that's the sort of 
 song that delights all and sundry. Let me initiate 
 you into our corps, which is entirely honorary. Spite 
 of your objections to a practical joke, we dub you 
 one of ours." 
 
 " Yesh ; one of ours, one of ours ", said Fender, 
 whose repeated potations had rendered his speech 
 rather thick and husky. " You are one of ours, and 
 ought to be proudsh of the honorsh." 
 
 Hullo ! old boy ; are you speaking Gaelic ? We 
 do not want any of your heterogeneous stuf¥ here : 
 speak the Queen's English." 
 
 " Who shays I can't speak the Queen's English ? 
 I'll speak with any mansh." 
 
 " Of course you will." 
 
 "And who will dare to 'chide me for loving that 
 old arm-chair ' ? " said he, forgetting the sense 
 through the force of the rhyme. 
 
 " Not a creature, my dear fellow. No one will 
 interfere with your adoration though you were to get 
 down upon your knees just now." 
 
 " What's the rowsh ? " 
 
 " Nothing, as far as I can see, unless that a certain 
 gentleman cannot say ' British Constitution '." 
 
 " Do you mean me? I'll say it with any mansh. 
 * Bis — ish Con — susion'. Hang it! ' Bis — ish Con — 
 sion'. That's it! And ' Bis — ish Soci — shon', also. 
 Heigh! Who says I'm drunk or speechless?" 
 
 " Nobody, my dear fellow. Brew another, and it 
 will be all right." 
 
 " Of course I will. Hand me the grey-beard pig. 
 Are you afraid of it? Do you think I'm drunk, and 
 that I cannot poursh out a glash of whisky? " said he, 
 as he dragged it from Lockhart, and went with it 
 swinging about the room. " I can poursh out a glash
 
 TEST OF SOBRIETY 137 
 
 of whisky yet, mindsh you, though you think I'm 
 screwed", and he placed himself carefully against 
 the table, and, to the surprise of us all, poured it out 
 from the gallon jar without spilling a drop. 
 
 " Whosh drunk now, I'd like to knowsh ", said he, 
 triumphantly, as he lifted the jar and deposited it in 
 the middle of the table. " Let me see how many of 
 you could do that when you were not able to say 
 ' British Con — shuson'." 
 
 " Well done. Fender ; you're a brick yet." 
 
 "Ay, always the cry of the multitude, ' Well done ', 
 when they see anything beyond the common. Away ! 
 I love not fulsome praise. It stinks in my nostrils. 
 Begone, ye minions of the dust, ye flatterers only 
 when successh ends your cashe. Away ; I'll to 
 another worldsh ! " 
 
 " Hullo! old boy, are you turned theatrical? A 
 second Kean come to judgment. Come, let us have 
 a speech, a recitation. Fender's speech. Fender's 
 recitation ! " 
 
 " Nay, nay, my Lordsh ! " 
 Fender's speech ! Fender's recitation ! " came 
 more vehemently than before. 
 
 " My speesh ! My recetation ! Who callsh ? A 
 wordsh with you, my Lordsh. I would not wastsh my 
 wind, the smallest item of my windsh upon you. You 
 are a worthless lotsh — a mean, low lotsh. You're but 
 the carcash of a dogsh to me " ; and in his excite- 
 ment he did the very thing we wanted, rose from his 
 seat, and stretched forth his arms in a theatrical 
 manner. " Dost know whom thou addreshesht ? My 
 name is Nerval; on the Grampian hills my fathersh 
 digsh his tatters. Oh, hearsh me for my caush, and 
 when thou hearsh, forgivsh. I wash a mansh, take 
 him for all in all ; you shall not look upon my liksh 
 again. Fie, fie, my cousin Richard, your eyesh are
 
 138 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 bleared, and you have drunksh too much. Touch not 
 the cup, touch not the cup, for there is a sherpent in it 
 that coilsh around you, and eatsh your toes away. Ah, 
 weary time ! What is our hfsh without a wee drappie 
 o't, a wee drappie o't? It's sweet to taste as I do now", 
 and, putting the tumbler to his head, he emptied it at 
 once. Then, waving it round his head, he cried out — 
 " Hurrah, my boys, hurrah ! There's nothing like the 
 Bris — ish Cons — shusion, the Brish — ish Cons — 
 shusion, the Bris — ish Soci — shon, the Acclam — 
 ishon Sho — shi — ee — tee. Long life to them, and to 
 this child ", and as he uttered the last words he sat 
 down, but missing his chair, fell upon the floor amid 
 roars of laughter. We were almost following his 
 example, for the laughter had alfected our heads, 
 and made us much more tipsy than we were. As it 
 was, we swayed backwards and forwards, holding 
 our sides, and feeling our throbbing temples, while 
 Fender, turning over on one side, began to snore 
 audibly. 
 
 And now that the routine of the evening was 
 broken in upon, no order could be kept, for each one 
 would do as he pleased, and would not listen to any 
 suggestion from his neighbour. By and by the fun 
 grew fast and furious. Songs were begun and as 
 suddenly ended, speeches commenced and as 
 abruptly brought to a close ; while in the mingled 
 din and riot it was impossible to make out correctly 
 what anyone said or meant. Suddenly one jumped 
 up and proposed a walk, which was at once acquiesced 
 in by all the rest. Lifting up Fender, who insisted 
 upon being let alone, and depositing him upon the 
 sofa, the rest sallied out into the open air. I 
 remember distinctly noting the fine frosty sky, 
 the many twinkling stars that looked down, brighter 
 and clearer than usual, and then all became a blank.
 
 MORNING REPENTANCE 139 
 
 The sudden change from a warm room to the cool 
 air outside, had the effect of making me senseless, 
 and so my companions kindly took me home, and, 
 having taken off my boots, deposited me in bed 
 with all my clothes. Next morning I awoke to 
 consciousness and a dreadful headache, and for the 
 whole of that day uttered nothing but anathemas 
 against all evening parties and smuggled whisky and 
 cigars.
 
 CHAPTER XII 
 
 Descendo, ac ducente Deo flammam inter et hostes 
 
 Expedior. 
 
 — Virgil: '' Mneid'\ II, G32-S. 
 
 " Hallo, Fender. Was it you that I saw recom- 
 mended so highly in this week's Herald for the 
 gallant and courageous manner in which you rescued 
 a woman's child from the fire? " 
 
 " O, bother you, Lockhart. Have you got scent 
 of that, too?" 
 
 " I have only just seen it in the Herald, and sus- 
 pected it would be you — for they give no names — 
 from the unreasonable hour at which you left my 
 lodgings the other night." 
 
 " Well, I did not go to tramp the streets and see 
 drunken fellows home, like some folk." 
 
 " Perhaps not, but you must have been pretty 
 tol-lol yourself. We managed to throw you on the 
 sofa, and thought no more about you. I must say I 
 was rather surprised, when I returned, to find the 
 bird flown." 
 
 " I suppose so. Recovering as suddenly as I 
 collapsed, I rose, and, looking round the room, was 
 surprised to find it empty of everything but a full 
 blaze of gas. I managed to put on my greatcoat, 
 and, finding my cap in my pocket, where I always 
 put it on such occasions, I found myself after a little 
 in the street on a clear frosty morning. The cold 
 helping very much to recover me, I found my way 
 home in a tolerably steady state."
 
 "IN NUDO CORPORE" 141 
 
 " So I would suppose, after your sleep. But what 
 about the fire ? " 
 
 " I suppose I would have got home all right had 
 it not been for a confounded watchman's rattle that 
 went off, and the wild cry of ' Fire ! Fire ! ' Now, if 
 there's anything I cannot resist it is a good, rattling, 
 roaring fire. So off I set as fast as my legs could 
 carry me, and arrived just as they trundled out a 
 poor woman almost 'in nudo corpore,' as Geordie 
 would say. Poor creature, I was sorry to see her. 
 She was quite unconscious when they laid her down 
 upon a bundle of clothes that had been thrown on 
 the street, but happening to have some salts with 
 me, I held them to her nose, and soon had the 
 pleasure of seeing her open her eyes." 
 
 " Why, you are quite a doctor, old boy," 
 " It would be a shame to me, after managing to 
 smuggle myself into so many lectures and opera- 
 tions, if I were not able to recover a poor woman 
 from faintness. But it would have been better for 
 me had I let her alone, for no sooner did she open 
 her eyes than she stared wildly around, and shrieked 
 out at the top of her voice, ' Where is my baby ? 
 Where is my baby ? ' I and some others had to hold 
 her down, else she would have rushed again into the 
 flames, and soon made an end of herself. After a 
 great deal of trouble, I managed to learn from her 
 that her baby had been left behind in the very bed 
 from which she had been taken, while in an uncon- 
 scious state. I asked what storey and room, and 
 having got some sort of incoherent answer, I, 
 trusting to my knowledge of the internal arrange- 
 ment of these houses, left her side, assuring her that 
 I would bring her baby, alive or dead. The last I 
 saw was her kneeling in her chemise or some 
 trumpery clothing, unconscious of the cold, or the
 
 142 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 gaze of hundreds of eyes, lifting her hands in prayer 
 to God ; the intense, unconquerable love of the 
 mother beautifying and ennobling it all. If ever I 
 was braced for any effort it was by that sight, for, 
 during the whole of my fierce struggle with those 
 devouring elements, the figure gazing upwards was 
 ever in my mind, and nerving me to more strenuous 
 exertion." 
 
 " There is nothing so strong or imperishable as a 
 mother's love ", said Lockhart. " We all ought to 
 know that from our own experience, but have become 
 so accustomed to it that we think little of it. But, 
 go on ; I am interrupting you." 
 
 " The first two storeys were easily gained, but 
 when I came to the third the passage was one mass 
 of flames. To me it seemed certain death if I 
 entered, but, as there was no other way, I determined 
 to risk it, and let the worst come to the worst. 
 Drawing my cap over my ears, and my greatcoat up 
 over my neck, I made a bold rush inwards, and was 
 suddenly brought up by being knocked against 
 something. This was the very saving of me, for, not 
 remembering the steps which often occur in these 
 old buildings, I had run against the wall, and was 
 thrown with such violence to the side that I was 
 pitched along a passage, and landed at what seemed 
 the kitchen. Fortunately, I was neither hurt nor 
 stunned, so, picking myself up, I rushed into the 
 room, and found, lying on the bed, the little child I 
 was in search of. There it lay, sleeping as soundly 
 as if no war of elements was taking place around it, 
 and, spite of the excitement of the moment, I could 
 not but look upon its calm, innocent face, and wonder 
 at the contrast. But it was no time for a soliloquy, 
 so hastily going to the window, I took a survey of 
 my position. There, beneath, were the flames
 
 FENDER ON THE LADDER 143 
 
 making their appearance from the windows, while 
 from above shot their forked tongues from every 
 crevice, the showers of sparks, hissing sounds, and 
 crackHng noises adding to the awful hurly-burly. It 
 was enough to appal the stoutest heart, and I must 
 say that mine felt rather small at that particular 
 moment." 
 
 " / don't wonder at it." 
 
 " However, there was not a second to lose, and, 
 therefore, I did what I could to attract the attention 
 of the crowd beneath. But this was rather a difficult 
 task, as the greater part were in the front of the 
 building, and the window where I was standing was 
 at one side. As the window was fixed, I dashed out 
 some of the glass and mouldings with the poker, and 
 called to those below — and who had been attracted 
 by the noise — to bring a ladder. It seemed ages 
 before they understood me, and meantime my standing- 
 room was becoming more and more scanty, for the 
 broken window acted as a draught and brought the 
 flames nearer to me. Besides, the smoke was 
 suffocating, and, had I not been able to get some 
 fresh air by leaning out of the window, I would have 
 been smothered. At last, after what seemed to me 
 an interminable period, a ladder was brought, but 
 when put to the window was, of course, found to be 
 too short — as is always the case on occasions like 
 this. However, as I could not wait for another, I 
 took the little thing in my arms, fixed him on my 
 back with the sheet, and fastening one of the blankets 
 to a sufficiently strong support in the room, lowered 
 myself down and managed to reach the ladder with 
 some difficulty. I no sooner did so than the roof fell 
 in with a hideous crash, no doubt filling the place in 
 which we had been standing a few seconds before. 
 As it was, the splinters dashed around us, burning me
 
 144 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 in one or two places, of which, in the excitement, I 
 was perfectly unconscious. In a few seconds I was 
 at the foot of the ladder, and had the exquisite 
 pleasure of putting the youngster in its mother's 
 arms, unhurt, and, would you believe it, not yet 
 roused out of its sleep." 
 
 " Very extraordinary, indeed." 
 
 "The woman was still on her knees, but when the 
 child was put into her arms she uttered a wild shriek 
 of joy and fainted away. Such a huUy-balloo was 
 kicked up that I was glad to get away, for positively 
 some of them became so abusive that I was half 
 inclined to pitch them into the flames." 
 
 "Abusive ! How do you mean ? " 
 
 "Why, one old wife came up to me — Irish she 
 evidently was — and declared that I was a ' broth of a 
 boy, a bonny laddie entirely,' and that she ' would 
 die happy gin I wis her Johnnie'. Hang her, I am 
 quite satisfied with my parentage, and want no Irish 
 blood." 
 
 " But, my dear fellow, you must make allowance 
 for overcharged feelings." 
 
 " Overcharged feelings ! How would you like to 
 have a dirty old woman, with only a few rags upon 
 her, coming up to you, and, not in the most delicate 
 manner possible, throwing her arms around your 
 neck and calling you the ' dear preserver of her 
 sister's bairn', a ' God-sent body' ? I wonder which 
 was God-sent, I or the toddy ? " 
 
 " Kindness of heart again, my boy! One thinks 
 not of the manner but the matter on such occasions." 
 
 " So I think, for, upon my honour, one would 
 have thought I had done a most exemplary action, 
 while I only did what I had promised to the woman. 
 If any other person had asked me to do the same 
 I would have done it, and, what is more, any one of
 
 SLEEP OF THE RIGHTEOUS 145 
 
 the fifty fellows standing there would have done the 
 same had he been asked." 
 
 " I would be inclined to doubt that." 
 
 " Doubt nothing, sir. But I forgot to tell you 
 that the best of it all was that, as I was trying to 
 make my way out of the tarnation crowd, a man twice 
 my size came up to me, and, slapping me on the 
 shoulder, said, ' My boy, you're a brick — you're a 
 brick — you've saved my Mary Jane's child. I like 
 you. Come, let us liquor.' You know how I like 
 anything laconic and precise, and I need not say to 
 you that I at once looked upon him as a man of 
 common sense, one worth listening to, and that I 
 followed his suggestion as to liquoring. While doing 
 so, he, to my great amusement, kept turning me 
 round and round, as my tailor does when measuring 
 me for a new suit, and every now and then gave vent 
 to the expression — 'A brick ! A real brick ! A little 
 fellow, but a real brick!' Quaffing off his glass 
 quickly, he again thanked me, called me 'a brick', 
 said he ' must go to Mary Jane ', and bolted, giving 
 my hand such a squeeze as it has not yet recovered." 
 
 "My dear fellow, you ought to be proud of 
 yourself." 
 
 " Proud of having my hand squeezed to nonsense, 
 my parentage misinterpreted, and my precious 
 carcase taken into the arms of a washerwoman ! 
 It strikes me I ought to be ashamed of myself. All 
 I know is, I was glad to get to my bed, and if I did not 
 sleep the sleep of the righteous before morning, I 
 don't know who did. My landlady told me I was 
 as deaf as a door nail." 
 
 " No wonder, after such exertion." 
 
 "After so much toddy, you mean. It strikes me 
 we managed to empty that gallon jar of yours 
 pretty well." 
 11
 
 146 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " I shall have no objections to repeat the dose, if 
 you are, in the same unobtrusive manner, to rescue 
 another 'Mary Jane's baby'." 
 
 "And singe all my whiskers, as I did the other 
 night." 
 
 " Singe your whiskers ! My dear fellow, it is the 
 first time I was aware of your having any. Let me 
 see. Upon my honour, the off cheek is rather bare. 
 Did you get both of them burned ? " 
 
 " O dear, no ", said he, with the coolest 
 nonchalance. " I have just come from the barber, 
 who has made me the same on both sides." 
 
 " O indeed. Can you recommend me to him, lest 
 I should have by and by to do the same ? " 
 
 " Well, I hope your coat will not share the same 
 fate as mine. It is an old and tried friend, who has been 
 with me in many an escapade, but, spite of this, I 
 am afraid I will have to part with it. The excessive 
 heat and the fire had made it like tinder, but when I 
 got among those uncircumcised barbarians they 
 almost tore it off my back." 
 
 " We must see if we cannot raise a new one for 
 you. Such bravery as yours ought not to go 
 unrewarded." 
 
 " Don't chaff a fellow, now, for upon my honour 
 I could not resist that wife's face and cry. I 
 may have been a ninny, I may have made a fool 
 of myself, but I meant to make that woman 
 happy, and I think I managed to do it for the time 
 being, though afterwards she would be sad enough, 
 for I suppose she would lose all. Let us say nothing 
 more about it, if you please, for I don't like to hear 
 about it, and, by this time, you ought to know that I 
 can't bear to be chaffed. Have you got anything left 
 in your jar to refresh the heart of a poor fellow?" 
 
 "We will see, but if there is not, we will find
 
 LAST OF THE JAR 147 
 
 enough in Jamieson's bottles to satisfy the thirsty 
 soul. O yes, it does not seem to be all gone, for 
 there is still an internal motion betokening not an 
 utter vacuum. Take that, my boy, and I have no 
 doubt it will steady your nerves, after such unusual 
 excitement." 
 
 " Here's to you, old boy, and may we never have 
 a worse night than the last. I wish some kind friend 
 would only think of sending me a gallon jar, for your 
 hospitality deserves a return. If not, I will be 
 compelled to invest, for I cannot be much longer 
 in your debt. So now, come, let us have a walk to 
 Jamieson's lodgings and sniff the 'caller air', for I 
 require it " ; and, acting on this suggestion, they got 
 up and went out together.
 
 CHAPTER XIII 
 
 Still her ghost wheels her barrow, 
 Thro' streets broad and narrow, 
 Crying, " Cockles and mussels. 
 Alive, alive, O ! " 
 
 —''Molly Malone:' 
 
 " I SAY, Lockhart ", said my cousin, " is there any 
 truth in that story of one of our students selling 
 butter for the purpose of making a livelihood and 
 paying college expenses ? " 
 
 I don't know. Ask Fender, who devotes his 
 attention to such archaeological pursuits," 
 
 " What do you think, Fender? " 
 
 " Can't say, but would be willing to allow that he 
 was about the most sensible fellow I ever heard of. 
 When one has the courage to do that, he would have 
 the courage to do anything." 
 
 " No doubt, but I am inclined to consider it a 
 make-up." 
 
 I am not so sure of that. All traditionary 
 stories have a certain substratum of truth, and I 
 have no doubt there is some in this ; in fact, I believe 
 that he did do so. Have you ever heard of the other 
 one who went about hawking apples? " 
 
 " That's gammon ! " 
 
 " It is not. It was stated by one of the professors 
 in his classroom, and brought forward by him as 
 another instance of the insatiable desire of the 
 Scottish mind for learning."
 
 COMPETITION MYTHS 149 
 
 He surely must have been drawing the long 
 bow." 
 
 " Not at all. The thing was well known at the 
 time, and from the way the professor spoke, he 
 seemed either to have been personally acquainted with 
 him, or known intimately about the whole affair. 
 Some even go so far as to say that he did so in his 
 gown, but that is false." 
 
 I should hope so, for though he may have been 
 poor enough, he ought at least to have had some 
 respect for his distinctive badge and left it at home." 
 
 " No fear of that. Such a one has far more 
 respect for his 'Alma Mater' than either you or I. 
 He looks upon her as a real goddess and positively 
 worships her, which is rather more than we do." 
 
 " Coz, look here", said my cousin to me. " Here is 
 another of these instances we were talking about, 
 and the facility afforded by our college in this 
 respect against any other in the Kingdom. Here a 
 young fellow can go and sell apples, butter, or any 
 other commodity which may be the most remunera- 
 tive, and yet sit on the same benches with us — perhaps 
 carry off our first prizes, and instead of looking down 
 on him, we will cheer him to our hearts' content, and 
 probably carry him on our shoulders to his lodgings." 
 
 "Sic transit gloria nmndi^\ said Lockhart. "I 
 am afraid, when you come to examine them, you 
 will find the whole of these to be mere mythical 
 characters, stories got up for the occasion, just as they 
 used to be about bursary time." 
 
 " What did they do then ? " 
 
 " Why, raised all those stories that you usually 
 heard when you came up as a freshman to the 
 Competition." 
 
 " But what were they ? " 
 
 " Well, I cannot remember them all just now, but
 
 150 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 I know I heard plenty when I was in the Competition 
 line. One was about a poor joiner who, in his leisure 
 hours, had managed to scrape together a pretty 
 considerable knowledge of Latin. On the day of the 
 Competition his fellow-workmen advised him to go 
 over to our college and try his luck. He did so, and 
 arrived just as the doors were being closed. Your 
 mythical characters always do this. Well, the upshot 
 was that he carried off the first bursary, and gave up 
 the joinering." 
 
 It is a pity such a good story should not be true." 
 
 " Or want its appropriate finish, which I have 
 often heard. It was that he took a distinguished place 
 at college, and afterwards became a celebrated D.D." 
 
 " What was his name ? " 
 
 " That I cannot tell you, though, I believe, I have 
 often heard it." 
 
 " Well, if you can't", said my cousin, "I can give 
 you the name of a celebrated D.D. whose origin was 
 equally humble, whose difficulties were equally great, 
 and who did the same. His father was a small 
 cottar, unable to give his son an education to fit him 
 for the Competition. By improving his leisure hours, 
 and the kindly help of the parish schoolmaster, with 
 whom he was a great favourite, he was enabled to 
 prepare himself for that great contest of the talent 
 of the north of Scotland. He carried off a high 
 bursary, and took a very distinguished place in the 
 class. When he returned home, and during the 
 whole of the summer recess, he helped his father in 
 his arduous duties, and scrupled not to perform the 
 hardest work, provided it enabled him to make a little 
 money to purchase books, or keep him during the 
 following session. He afterwards entered the Church, 
 and is now one of our most potent names." 
 
 " Who is that ? "
 
 ROBERTSON OF ELLON 151 
 
 " The celebrated Dr. Robertson." 
 
 " What ! The leader of the Established Church 
 party during the Disruption time?" 
 
 " The same." 
 
 " That says more than volumes for the excellence 
 of our bursary system." 
 
 " But he is not a solitary instance. Many such 
 could be brought forward, though Lockhart is inclined 
 to discredit some of the stories. The north and 
 west of Scotland could supply you with numerous 
 instances, and if you take up any book of illustrious 
 Scotchmen, you will be surprised at the number who 
 have risen from the lowest ranks by having gained a 
 bursary. No doubt, many of the stories are fabulous, 
 but a sufficient number are true to prove the value of 
 the system. I do not believe that all of them are 
 got up for the occasion." 
 
 "Well, well, I will let you have your way", said 
 Lockhart, " but as for the stories of students selling 
 butter or apples, I beg to offer my dissent, and 
 declare them to be purely inventions of the Evil 
 One." 
 
 " Not at all, my dear fellow ", said Fender ; " I 
 can vouch for the accuracy of the latter, and if the 
 story of Buttery Wullie Collie is lost in the mists 
 of antiquity, the aroma of tradition hangs around 
 him and will not be gainsaid. He is sacred in my 
 eyes." 
 
 " Do you mean to say that such a thing could 
 be done, and not be well known at the time?" 
 
 " I mean to say that such a thing may be done, 
 and yet be known only to a few." 
 
 I cannot believe it. He was sure to be recognised 
 by some, and they would tell it to others." 
 
 " The appearance of an apple vendor is very 
 different from that of a student, even the rawest that
 
 152 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 comes from your Highland hills, and if the young 
 man was one of sense, which we are inclined to 
 suppose he was, he would attend to the fact of his 
 looking the character." 
 
 " I must say I cannot agree with your argument 
 at all. I am certain that anyone acting in this 
 manner would be sure to be discovered." 
 
 " Not if you were not suspicious of it." 
 
 " Yes ; even though you were not." 
 
 " That does not say much for one's power of 
 dressing and mimicry. I am sure that anyone with 
 average abilities could do such a thing and not be 
 discovered." 
 
 I deny that in toto.'^ 
 
 " Why, my dear Lockhart, look at our actors. 
 They dress in such a way that they appear altogether 
 different persons." 
 
 " True, but j^ou must remember they have the 
 stage and all its accessories, which help the illusion." 
 
 " True, but yet I think the thing might be done 
 without being discovered, if one would put himself 
 to a little trouble." 
 
 " I would like to see you try it, and would bet a 
 sovereign you would fail." 
 
 " You may with safet}', for you know I am not a 
 betting man, and that such a thing is not in my line." 
 Nevertheless, I leave the sovereign to be taken 
 up by you at your convenience." 
 
 It will be there a long time, I am afraid. But 
 apart from the trick, I say that the conduct of such 
 a man is worthy of all praise, and is a remarkable 
 instance of the love of the Scotch for learning." 
 
 I sometimes think", said my cousin, "that that 
 desire is much more strongly displayed in a university 
 town than in any other." 
 
 " Perhaps from the fact of seeing the fountain
 
 FENDER'S IDEAL COLLEGE 153 
 
 head of it, and knowing in reality the difficulty of 
 obtaining it." 
 
 " More than likely. There is nothing whets a 
 Scotchman's appetite so much as to see a thing and 
 know that he cannot obtain it, particularly if it has 
 anything to do with learning." 
 
 " It is, however, this inordinate love of learning 
 implanted in the Scotchman which has given our 
 colleges such an advantage over those of the south. 
 We work hard before we come up, and when here do 
 the same (I speak here particularly of our own 
 college), so that when any go farther south the work 
 at the English colleges is mere child's play, until they 
 come to the very highest parts of Mathematics." 
 
 " It must be so, for I am told that the ' Little-go ' 
 of Cambridge or Oxford is by no means equal to our 
 passing examination in junior Mathematics." 
 
 " You are right, for I have seen the papers, and 
 only wonder that fellows can stick at all. We would 
 think nothing of them here." 
 
 " That is the way with us all. We think other 
 fellows' work far easier than our own." 
 
 "And yet there is a reason for such examinations", 
 said Lockhart. " The majority of the students that 
 go up to your great English colleges are sent there 
 for the purpose of finishing their education as 
 gentlemen — something like the system pursued at the 
 Broad Street Academy among the baillies of the good 
 town. Now, such fellows do not like work, and in 
 many cases will not perform what is necessary to 
 pass them. The standard therefore must be low, 
 far lower than in such a college as ours, where almost 
 everyone comes up determined to work. Here it is 
 the rule to work, there it is the exception." 
 
 " That's the sort of college for me", said Fender. 
 " I would luxuriate there."
 
 154 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " But I thought you had lately given up your lazy 
 habits, and taken to grinding?" 
 
 " So I have. I am sorry to say, however, that I 
 had forgot that just now. I am glad to see my name 
 is recovering from its past decadence, and if I am 
 to keep up my reputation I must set off to work," 
 
 " Don't let any remark of mine send you off, 
 my dear fellow. I never meant to hurt your feelings 
 or call up unpleasant reminiscences." 
 
 *' You have not hurt my feelings in the least, and 
 have recalled anything but unpleasant thoughts. The 
 fact is, I am beginning to like grinding." 
 
 " Fender grinding! " cried out one or two at once. 
 I would like to see it. I should then say that 
 wonders would never cease." 
 
 I should sooner expect", said my cousin, "that 
 he would act the part of the distinguished student 
 and sell apples." 
 
 " And gain the sovereign ", said Lockhart. 
 
 " It would be an excellent exercise for the lungs," 
 said Fender, " after the sedentary duties of the night. 
 I think I must try it." 
 
 I would advise you ; but be sure and leave your 
 gown at home." 
 
 " O yes, you may be sure I would not disgrace it." 
 
 " I should hope not. Are you really off ? Won't 
 you stay and have something — a pint of Bass ? " 
 
 " No, thank you. Bass is not promotive of 
 grinding. You must excuse me for this time." 
 
 " Very well, old boy, if you will not, I shall not 
 force you. 'A wilfu' man wull hae his wye.' Much 
 success to you in your new attempt. May it not be 
 a spurt ! " and shutting the door, he returned to his 
 seat. 
 
 " What can be the matter with Fender, to-day?" 
 said my cousin.
 
 LACK OF APPLICATION 155 
 
 " I can't say ", said Lockhart. " Some tantrum 
 he has taken in his head." 
 
 " But is he so careless of his work as he appears 
 to be? " inquired I. 
 
 " Well, much about it, though he is often visited 
 
 by moments of sad compunction for time misspent 
 
 and opportunities lost. This must be one of them." 
 
 And yet he does not seem to be devoid of 
 
 ability." 
 
 " Devoid of ability ! He is one of the cleverest 
 young men at college, only, he will not apply himself — 
 and what is talent without application. His father 
 was a dreamer, and allowed his son to do as he 
 liked, and by that means ruined him, I'm afraid. 
 He lacks steady application and someone to keep 
 him to work. Had he an impulse to work, or some 
 great purpose in view, he would be all right." 
 
 It is a great pity to see a young man of such 
 promise thus wasting his time." 
 
 It is, and he hates himself for it. I have often 
 seen him in this room weeping over his want of 
 purpose. But what good did it do him ? He would 
 turn it off with some laughable remark that would 
 send us both into convulsions." 
 
 How did he manage to gain his bursary?" 
 
 " That is one of the things which, he says, 
 Providence sent him in anger. He gained, as you 
 know, a high bursary, and on that account is 
 compelled to keep a fair place in his class. Were it 
 not for that I verily believe he would not open a book." 
 
 " But he must have been a good scholar, else he 
 would not have stood so high." 
 
 " Of course he is. He kept the first place in our 
 class easily for the greater part of the first session, 
 but being fond of practical jokes he got into bad 
 odour with the professors. This joking went on
 
 156 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 during the work of the class, and when the end of the 
 session came we were all surprised to find him out 
 of the prize list, and first in the order of merit. He 
 was quite wild, and declared that Geordie did it out of 
 spite; and I think he was right, for he had been the 
 bugbear of Geordie's life during the whole session." 
 
 "And yet I do not think that a professor would 
 have done such an unjust thing." 
 
 " Perhaps not, and yet it is hard to say, considering 
 the fellow Fender was. Towards the end of the first 
 session he did everything in his power to annoy 
 'George', and latterl}^ there was a regular feud 
 between them. If anything improper was done in the 
 class, ' George ' was sure to fix it upon Fender, often 
 unjustly, I must allow; and on such occasions it was 
 the greatest treat possible to listen to the two, for 
 Fender, in that cool manner peculiar to him, would 
 appeal to his fellow-students, and call upon them to 
 prove the truth of his statement. On two occasions 
 he, by inference, proved ' George ' a liar." 
 
 " That was carrying the joke a little too far." 
 
 " Yes ; rather. But the most laughable farce of 
 all was the payment of his fines." 
 
 " How?" 
 
 " Well, you must know that Fender was and is 
 still universally late three or four times a week, 
 and that he consistently absents himself from lecture 
 on the Monday morning. His reason for the latter 
 is a very sensible one, viz., that he does not want his 
 Queen's English spoiled by the villainous pronun- 
 ciation of the Theological Professor. As you may 
 suppose, his list of fines was always a pretty heavy 
 one, and was never paid without demurrage. We 
 always expected this, and looked forward to it with 
 great glee. On the day of collecting the fines, 
 the Professor, when he came to his name, would call
 
 FOURPENCE OR THREEPENCE? 157 
 
 it out slowly and then say, ' I find, Mr. Fender, there 
 are four marks against your name — one for chapel 
 on Monday morning, one on Wednesday, one on 
 Thursday, and another on Friday morning', 
 
 ' I am afraid there is a mistake, sir, for I find 
 I have only threepence to pay.' 
 
 " ' How do you make that out, Mr. Fender?' 
 " ' I came into the classroom on Friday morning 
 as the censor called my name, and, therefore, ought 
 not to pay ', said he in a humble tone of voice. 
 
 " ' I cannot take that excuse, Mr. Fender ', said 
 ' George', smiling. 'You must pay the fourpence.' 
 " ' I don't think I ought to pay for what is wrong.' 
 " ' There is nothing wrong here, sir. You must 
 
 pay.' 
 
 " ' But I won't pay when I was in in time. I 
 appeal to the class if what I state is not correct. 
 I am certain they will support me in this.' This was 
 just what we wished, and w^e ruffed as vigorously as 
 we could. 
 
 " ' I must go by the censor's list, Mr. Fender. I 
 care not what the class thinks. You must pay ', said 
 the Professor, getting angry. 
 
 " ' But I cannot. I have no more than threepence.' 
 
 " ' Your friends, who are so ready with their 
 applause, may give you the wherewithal.' 
 
 " A dozen hands were out at once, but Fender 
 very coolly replied, ' No, thank you, sir, I never 
 borrow '. 
 
 " ' You can bring it in the afternoon.' 
 
 " ' But this is all I have.' 
 
 " 'You can bring it in the afternoon, Mr. Fender. 
 That will do. You may sit down.' 
 
 " Fender did so, but we were sure it was not all 
 over. The afternoon came, and the Professor, 
 addressing him, asked for the money.
 
 158 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " ' I have not got any, sir.' 
 ' The penny, I mean, you were due me this 
 forenoon.' 
 
 " ' I have not got any, sir. I gave you all I had, 
 and all I was entitled to pay.' 
 
 Mr. Fender, I ask you, once for all, are you 
 going to give me that penny?' said the Professor, 
 almost rising off his seat in the vehemence of his 
 anger. 
 
 " ' I am sorry to say, sir, that I have not got any 
 more', coolly replied he. 
 
 Mr. Fender, you are fined half-a-crown for 
 contempt of your Professor, and we shall see what 
 the Senatus shall say to this conduct. You must pay 
 me that half-crown to-morrow.' 
 
 "'Very well, sir', replied the imperturbable 
 Fender, as he took his seat, and opened his note- 
 book, as unconcerned as if there had been no terrors 
 of the Senatus hanging over him. 
 
 " Next morning came, and after the roll had 
 been called, the Professor asked Fender if he 
 had got the money he had fined him. On his 
 replying that he had after great difficulty, a 
 gleam of self-satisfaction flitted over the Pro- 
 fessor's face, and he ordered him in a pompous 
 manner to bring it up to the desk. Fender, rising 
 from his seat, went up, and when in front of the 
 desk and in full view of all the class, drew from 
 his pocket a large bag, and, leisurely opening it, 
 began to count out on the desk farthings to the 
 amount of the fine. As he slowly and solemnly did 
 this, you can imagine the look of amazement that 
 overspread us all, and then the roars of laughter that 
 succeeded. The face of the Professor grew scarlet, 
 and then pale as death as the cool Fender continued 
 counting them out without paying any attention to
 
 PAID IN FARTHINGS 159 
 
 the conduct of his class-fellows. But it was the calm 
 before the storm, for, suddenly starting up, the 
 Professor dashed his hand across the small coins, and 
 sent them flying over the floor. Fender, looking up 
 at this, met his gaze without any emotion, and when 
 he ordered him to his seat said, ' What, will you not 
 take the fine ? They are the coin of the realm. 
 Remember, I'll not pay you again'. But the Professor, 
 losing all command of himself, abused him in round 
 terms, and declared that he would make him pay for 
 this before the Senatus. Fender very coolly pro- 
 ceeded to pick up his small coins, assisted by some 
 of the students, and before the work of the class 
 could be proceeded with, fully twenty minutes had 
 been wasted." 
 
 " And what was the upshot of it ? " 
 
 " Of course. Fender was taken before the Senatus, 
 pleaded there the same excuses as before, but was 
 told that they would not do ; offered them the same 
 copper coin of the realm, which they refused as being 
 inconvenient, and requested him to change it, a thing 
 which Fender declared he had no doubt the janitor 
 would be able to do. At last, to cut the matter short. 
 Fender consented to make an apology to ' George ' 
 if he would remit that penny of a fine which had 
 been the cause of dispute, and he, considering 
 discretion the better part of valour, granted it ; and 
 so Fender was let of, bringing with him his bag of 
 farthings, which he generously turned into a bottle 
 of whisky, that we helped him to punish." 
 
 " Upon my word, that was rather cool. It is no 
 wonder though Fender was 'stuck' by the Professor." 
 
 " My dear sir, he was never 'stuck'; he is too 
 clever for that. The Professor only kept him out of 
 the prize list, which disgusted him so much that he 
 has never tried for a prize since."
 
 160 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " I can understand such conduct, and yet the 
 fault is his own. One should never run contrary to 
 his professors. He will be seen to lose in the end." 
 
 "Just what I was telling you, coz ", said my 
 cousin ; " I hope you will profit by the lesson." 
 
 I hope I will not so far forget myself as Fender 
 has. It is most suicidal policy." 
 
 ''All through his fondness for a good joke. Do 
 you remember the pea-crackers?" 
 
 " O golly, ay. That was a lark. I thought 
 * George ' was out of his mind that day." 
 
 " What was that?" inquired I. 
 
 " One of Fender's best tricks, and one that, had 
 it been discovered, would likely have got him 
 rusticated." 
 
 " Pee-ta-taes ! Pee-ta-taes ! " 
 
 "Hullo, what's up now? That fellow's voice 
 almost splits one's head." 
 
 It would be his fortune on the stage, or as a 
 Cheap John." 
 
 " I should think so. I never heard this fellow 
 before. Who can he be?" and as Lockhart said so 
 he rose and went to the window. " It is a potato 
 man at any rate." 
 
 Has he got a game leg? " inquired I. 
 
 " He has." 
 
 " Then I know the gentleman." 
 
 " It strikes me I have seen him before ", said 
 Lockhart. 
 
 " Very likely, for he is often about, though I sup- 
 pose not often in this quarter." 
 
 By this time the potato vender was pretty far 
 down the street, driving before him with difficulty a 
 huge barrow full of his wares, and at every upward 
 movement of his body uttering the loud and sonorous 
 cry, " Pee-ta-taes ! Pee-ta-taes ! "
 
 "LANG BLUE TATTIES" 161 
 
 That cry reminds me of the Newhaven fish- 
 
 wives." 
 
 "It is just the fellow I thought it was", said I, 
 as I came to the window and looked out. " I have 
 seen him often in our street kicking up rows with 
 the women, who declare him awfully greedy." 
 
 "More than likely, for he seems a character. 
 Look how he lays down the law to that woman. 
 Evidently they do not agree about the price. See, 
 he has got disgusted, and sets off. There he goes. 
 Upon my word, he is one of the most independent 
 potato dealers I ever saw." 
 
 " Pee-ta-taes ! Pee-ta-taes ! " again came on the 
 air as he moved on, hirpHng up and down. 
 
 " Upon my word, he is a character. Let us have 
 some fun with him", said Lockhart. "Hey! What's 
 the price of your potatoes? " 
 
 " Pee-ta-taes ! Pee-ta-taes ! " cried he, as if he 
 did not hear. 
 
 " Hey ! What's the price of your potatoes ? " 
 
 " Foo wid ye be gin ye kent ? Pee-ta-taes ! 
 Pee-ta-taes ! " 
 
 " I say, old boy, look here. I want some. What's 
 the price of them ? " 
 
 "A shillin' to you, sir. Best lang blue tatties, as 
 meally's a girnal." 
 
 " That's a recommendation, certainly. I'll take a 
 peck if you guarantee them." 
 
 " I guarantee naething. A tattie may be weet 
 afore it's biled that may be meally aifter." 
 
 "Ha! ha! All right. What's the price of your 
 peck?" 
 
 "A shillin' to you." 
 
 "Why to me?" 
 
 " 'Cause ye're better able to pey a shillin' than 
 the peer folk tenpence." 
 12
 
 162 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 (( 
 
 a 
 
 
 All right." 
 
 How's the wife and bairns?" inquired my 
 cousin. 
 
 "Brawlies! Hoo's yours?" retorted he, amid 
 the loud laughter of us all. 
 
 How many have you?" inquired Lockhart. 
 Dee ye mean wives or bairns ? " inquired he, in 
 serio-comic tone. 
 
 " The latter." 
 
 " I hae nae latter ", said he, sending us again 
 into roars. 
 
 " I mean, how many bairns have you ? " 
 
 " Aucht, an' ane on the road. Ay, man, it's a 
 hard pull in thae hard times. It's naething to the 
 like o' you that his yer fathers afore ye. I never hid 
 ony." 
 
 " Had you never a father?" said Lockhart, with 
 a laugh. 
 
 " Never ; nor yet a mither. I wis an orphan afore 
 I wis born." 
 
 "Ha! ha!" laughed they all heartily. "You're 
 a queer one." 
 
 " Ye may lauch gin ye please, gentlemen, bit it's 
 onything bit a lauchin' maitter. Gin ye hid hid to 
 scrape thegither a livin' fae yer youth upwards, ye 
 wid hae kent fat it wis. It's hard, hard ", and the 
 poor man shook his head, and looked down to his 
 barrow of potatoes. 
 
 " I suppose so. But what did you marry for, 
 then? Had you not enough of troubles without 
 that?" 
 
 " ' It is not good for man to be alone ', says the 
 Bible, an' I aye try to follow it." 
 
 " Do you ? Does the Bible tell you to sell 
 potatoes?" 
 
 " Nae doot it dis, gin I could licht upo' the verse."
 
 THE BIBLE AND POTATOES 163 
 
 " But I never did." 
 
 " Ye hidna been lookin' for't richt, I'se wager. 
 Bit wull ye tak' some tatties, for I hinna time to stan' 
 palaverin' here? Wull ye tak' some?" 
 
 "Yes; I'll take a peck." 
 
 "A peck? Thank ye — a shillin'. They're the 
 finest tatties i' the toon, I'll guarantee, an' fin ye eat 
 them think o' the peer man that sells them, an' his 
 sae mony moos to full." 
 
 " I will. Here's the shilling. Do you give a 
 receipt? " 
 
 " Nae for ready money; an' fat's mair, I hinna 
 ony paper, an' canna write ower weel." 
 
 " Let the poor fellow alone, Lockhart ", said my 
 cousin. " You are only teasing him." 
 
 " You shut up, old boy. Let us see what like his 
 fist is. See, here is a sheet of paper and a pencil ", 
 said he, throwing both into his barrow. " Put the 
 receipt among the potatoes. You can keep the 
 pencil as a souvenir." 
 
 The poor man, after securing both, spread the 
 paper on a board on the front of the barrow, and 
 took the pencil in his hand. After a great many 
 flourishes, which sent us into roars of laughter, he 
 commenced ; and as the pencil made its way over 
 the paper his mouth was screwed from side to side, 
 and his tongue imitated every stroke of his stiif 
 hand. When he came to the final flourish, the 
 tongue suddenly disappeared, and he held the paper 
 out before him, gazing upon it with admiring eyes. 
 Depositing it in the basket among the potatoes, he 
 put the pencil in his pocket, and, nodding familiarly 
 to us at the window, lifted up his barrow, and went 
 along the street shouting out in his stentorian voice, 
 " Pee-ta-taes ! pee-ta-taes ! " 
 
 " Let us see the fellow's sign-manual ", said
 
 164 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Lockhart, " It will be something original, no doubt, 
 like the fellow himself. Bring them here, girl", said 
 he, addressing the servant, who had just entered. 
 "And now, gentlemen, listen to the most original 
 receipt ever given by a potato dealer in this or any 
 other town ", and, taking up the paper, he held it out 
 extended before him, stared, but said nothing. Sur- 
 prised at his silence, I looked over his shoulder, 
 and, seeing the receipt, burst into a loud laugh. My 
 cousin, doing the same, followed, while poor Lockhart 
 stood like one paralysed, holding out the paper. It 
 was to the following effect : — 
 
 " Dear Lockhart, 
 
 " I've won the sovereign. 
 
 " Yours truly, 
 
 " Peter Fender." 
 
 To say that we were amazed is not enough. 
 We stood for a few seconds looking at each other 
 in blank stupidity, scarcely believing our own 
 eyes. But there it was before us, in such a form 
 that we could not deny it, or else we would 
 deny the evidence of our own eyes. From one 
 fit of laughter we went into another, poor Lockhart 
 coming in for a good share of chaff, but taking it 
 all in very good part. Suddenly he started up, 
 and, clapping on his hat, rushed frantically down 
 the stairs. We followed, certain he was after the 
 pseudo-potato-man; but he might have saved himself 
 the trouble, for Fender was by this time safely 
 ensconced in his own quarters. As for the rest of 
 us we made our way to our lodgings, ruminating 
 over the cleverness of one who had so completely 
 confuted Lockhart's argument, and entirely bam- 
 boozled the whole of us.
 
 CHAPTER XIV 
 
 He (Lord Falkland) would, with a shrill and sad accent, 
 ingeminate the word " Peace, peace ". 
 
 — Clarendon. 
 
 As we drew near to my lodgings I said to my cousin, 
 " Come in for a little ; I want to hear that story 
 about Fender and the pea-crackers. I must say I 
 am very much interested in him, queer though he 
 be." 
 
 " He is a fine fellow, spite of his peculiarities. 
 He would never do an ungentlemanly action, and is 
 generous to a fault. He has been known to assist 
 many a poor student with what he was needing very 
 much himself. You remember how he acted the 
 night of Lockhart's party. That was just like him 
 in all the actions of his life — the child of impulse."' 
 
 " That will be the ruin of him yet, I am afraid, 
 for nothing injures one so much as giving way to 
 whims and peculiarities, and making them the ruling 
 springs of one's life. Fender ought to have made a 
 distinguished name for himself at college, and he 
 will leave it without making any mark." 
 
 True, but he is sure to do it when he enters the 
 Church. The many theories and knotty points to be 
 found in theology will be congenial to him." 
 
 " He will require to be in the Establishment, then, 
 and not in a Dissenting body, for they would not 
 tolerate his peculiarities." 
 
 " True, that is one of the advantages of the
 
 166 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Establishment : you do not require to care one iota 
 for the opinion of your congregation." 
 
 " That's rather a queer way to look at it, isn't it?" 
 
 " And yet, with many congregations, it is the 
 only way." 
 
 " I hope I would never value my congregation at 
 so little. Their well-being ought to be the first 
 consideration." 
 
 "All right, old fellow; I'll not dispute the point 
 with you." 
 
 " Does Fender intend to enter the Church ? " 
 
 " I believe the U.P.'s expect his future services." 
 He'll never do for them, unless he changes. 
 But what about this other trick of his ? I could now 
 believe him capable of anything after the way 
 in which he cheated us to-day." 
 
 " Well, I don't know if I can tell you the story as 
 it ought. You should have had Lockhart to do that, 
 for he knows all his peculiarities, and can imitate both 
 ' George ' and Fender to the nines. Of course, the 
 trick was played on ' George ', and very nearly cost 
 Fender his place at college. Had he not been such a 
 favourite, and the students been true to each other, 
 Fender would have had to seek rural delights for a 
 season. Besides, it has to be taken into account that 
 Fender prepared the trick without any assistance 
 from the other students, and before our arrival. 
 
 " One morning, having gone rather early to 
 college, I was much surprised to see Fender there, 
 chatting with some of his class-fellows. This was a 
 very rare occurrence, for, as I have already said, 
 he was almost invariably late. On rallying him upon 
 it, he said that, as with the grinding, he had deter- 
 mined to turn over a new leaf. 
 
 I noticed, when the rest of us entered the class- 
 room. Fender did not take his usual place. I did not
 
 EXPLOSION ON THE "VIA LATINA" 167 
 
 think much of this at the time, but after-circum- 
 stances led me to beHeve that he purposely remained 
 outside so as to avoid suspicion. However, the usual 
 tricks played on entering the classroom, and the 
 noise of each one taking his seat, drove everything 
 else out of my head. 
 
 I have already said, and you are perfectly aware 
 from personal observation, that ' George ' is a very 
 methodical fellow, and that he always repeats 
 himself in everything he does. You can calculate to 
 a nicety the exact time he will enter the classroom, 
 and the exact places on which he will set his feet. 
 The narrow passage, leading from his private room 
 to the rostrum, as ' George ' calls it, was dubbed by 
 us the ' Via Latina '. As it afterwards appeared, 
 Fender had carefully strewn pea-crackers along this 
 path, and deposited a few in his rostrum, so that he 
 could not escape treading upon some of them. 
 
 Suppose us, then, seated in the classroom, 
 anxiously awaiting the arrival of our Professor, 
 quite unconscious of the scene that was so soon to 
 occur. Slowly the door opened, and 'George's' curl 
 was seen to appear. After carefully closing the door, 
 a step or two was taken in the direction of his seat, 
 when a report like the shot of a pistol attracted our 
 attention. Suddenly starting up, we looked in the 
 direction of the noise, and were surprised to see 
 ' George ' making eccentric gyrations, quite unpro- 
 fessional in their nature. As he thus made a rush to 
 one side he trod upon another of the pea-crackers, 
 which the watchful Fender had spread lest he should 
 be erratic in his movements. This caused as great 
 a noise as the former. His foot sliding, he went 
 sprawling along the floor, to the great amusement of 
 us all, who were as much surprised at the conduct of 
 the Professor as he could be himself. Picking
 
 168 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 himself up the best way he could, he rushed forward 
 to the desk, amidst a volley of small shot, and the 
 roars of the students, who now began to have some 
 faint idea of a good joke. Arrived at the desk, he 
 made a wild rush into it, but found himself in a 
 worse condition than before, for the floor of it being 
 strewn profusely with the peas, they cracked and 
 roared whenever in his excitement he lifted his feet 
 and set them down again. Poor 'George' was 
 almost terrified out of his senses, and the perspira- 
 tion was to be seen standing in large beads upon his 
 brow. He panted and puffed like one out of breath, 
 and tried to give utterance to words, but all that was 
 heard was a gasping sound, and a word that 
 somewhat resembled ' gentlemen '. By and by a 
 slight, intermittent shot was heard, as if it were 
 some straggler firing a solitary and parting shot, 
 and then a silence deep as death filled the room. 
 
 " ' Gentlemen ! gentlemen ! This is beyond all 
 endurance ! I demand the name of the perpetrator 
 of this gross outrage. It is scandalous and unworthy 
 of gentlemen. Gentlemen, I demand the name of the 
 guilty party. Remember, you are upon oath, every 
 one of you. I am determined I will find it out. 
 Censor, call the roll! Let each gentleman remember 
 he is upon his solemn oath to speak the truth, the 
 whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Alexander 
 Anderson, stand up ! Do you know anything about 
 this scandalous transaction ? ' 
 No, sn\ 
 
 " ' Remember, you are upon your oath.' 
 
 " ' I know nothing about it, sir.' 
 
 " ' Did you not see any person do it ? ' 
 
 " ' No, sir.' 
 
 " ' Are you sure ? ' 
 
 " ' I believe I am upon oath, sir.'
 
 "A LIAR IN THE CLASS" 169 
 
 You may sit down, sir. Call the next. Do you 
 know anything about this, sir ? ' 
 
 " ' ■NT • ' 
 
 No, sir. 
 
 Did you see anybody do it ? ' 
 
 " ' No, sir.' 
 
 Do you know of anybody who has done it ? ' 
 
 " ' No, sir.' 
 
 " 'Are you sure of this?' 
 
 " ' I always speak the truth, sir.' 
 
 " ' I am glad to hear you say so. Call the next. 
 What do you know about it ? ' 
 
 " ' Nothing.' 
 
 Do you mean to tell me, sir, that you have been 
 here since the class entered, and know nothing about 
 the matter ? ' 
 
 "^ ' I do.' 
 
 Then I must say I do not believe you.' 
 
 " ' I consider it very hard that my word should 
 be doubted because it happens not to satisfy you. I 
 am speaking the truth, sir.' 
 
 " ' So every one here says, but some of them 
 must be telling lies. I have not the least doubt of 
 that.' 
 
 "At this, a perfect volley of hisses and howls 
 was heard, which only seemed to irritate him still 
 more. After he had cross-examined the greater part 
 of the class, and elicited nothing — for we had really 
 nothing to tell, as everything had been prepared 
 before we entered the classroom, and that so carefully 
 and secretly that our suspicions were only very 
 vague — he came to Fender. We knew there would 
 be some fun there, and when his name was called we 
 eagerly turned in the direction of the place where he 
 was sitting. He rose coolly from his seat — indeed, 
 with a smile upon his face, which seemed to increase 
 * George's ' anger, for he burst out with the remark,
 
 170 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Now, Mr. Fender, remember I have my suspicions, 
 and that you are upon oath. I hope you will have 
 the moral courage to speak out, and not put me to 
 the disagreeable necessity of believing that you are 
 telling me a lie. Remember that you are upon 
 oath, and that I have my suspicions.' 
 
 Fender smiled, and quietly said, ' You forget 
 that I was not in the room when the affair took place, 
 and can know nothing about it.' 
 What do you say, sir ? ' 
 
 That I have only lately entered the room, as 
 many of the gentlemen can testify. I appeal to the 
 class.' 
 
 " Two or three stood up and fully corroborated 
 what Fender said ; but yet ' George ', suspicious 
 from past experience, was unwilling to credit it. 
 " 'Are you sure of this, Mr. Fender?' 
 ' I can only ask you to believe my own word 
 and that of my class-fellows. I would also appeal 
 to your roll of the past and your list of fines to 
 ascertain if it is an uncommon occurrence with 
 me.' 
 
 Can you give me any information regarding 
 this most extraordinary matter?' 
 ' I think I can ? ' 
 "'George' pricked up his ears and said, 'Will 
 you favour us with it? ' while the rest of us half rose 
 off our seats in our eagerness. 
 
 " ' I am inclined to think, sir, that some pea- 
 crackers must have fallen from some gentleman's 
 pocket.' 
 
 'A most improbable idea, sir! How could they 
 come into my rostrum in that case?' 
 
 " ' I really could not say, sir. I must allow that 
 that is beyond my comprehension ', said he, amid 
 the smothered laughter of the whole class.
 
 "GEORGE" HAS HIS DOUBTS 171 
 
 Yes ; and what is more, beyond that of any 
 other person. It is quite clear they could not have 
 come here of themselves. Some of you must be 
 aware of the perpetrators, and, by concealing them, 
 are as bad as they. You are all equally guilty, and 
 deserve condemnation.' 
 
 " As he finished saying this, one of the best 
 students in the class, and also a great favourite of 
 ' George ', stood up and said, ' Sir, I beg to state that 
 I was the first person to enter this classroom this 
 morning, and I have seen no one put anything on 
 the floor.' 
 
 And do you expect me to believe that they 
 came there of themselves? Surely you consider 
 me very credulous.' 
 
 " ' I only state what I know, sir. Might they not 
 have been there before we came ? ' 
 
 Not at all likely, sir ; or, to say the least, very 
 improbable.' 
 
 " ' I think not. This, however, I continue to 
 assert, that it was not done when we were here.' 
 
 " ' It may be so, but I have my doubts ', said 
 ' George ', as he abandoned the investigation, and 
 proceeded with the work of the class." 
 
 " And who really did it?" inquired I. 
 
 " Why, Fender, to be sure. He managed to get 
 into the room before the arrival of the class, just 
 after the sacrist had been looking after the fires. 
 His constitutional laziness stood him in good stead 
 for once, but his escape was very narrow, and for 
 many a day he would not allow it was he. Had he 
 been discovered he would most probably have been 
 expelled from the college."
 
 CHAPTER XV 
 
 Then the air's so appetisin', and the landscape through 
 
 the haze 
 
 Of a crisp and rousin' mornin' of the early winter days, 
 
 'Tis a pictur' that no painter has the colorin' to mock 
 
 When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in 
 
 the shock. 
 
 — y antes Whitcomb Riley. 
 
 And so the winter wore on. November's sleet and 
 December s cold blasts blew around us many a time, 
 as we made our way over to our old " Alma Mater". 
 The cold winds discovered the crevices in our 
 clothes, and the wet roads the leaks in our boots. 
 But little we cared, for troubles then sat lightly on 
 us, and we thought only of the present. When 
 evening came, and we were snugly ensconced beside 
 our blazing fire, with our books spread out on the 
 table before us, who so happy as we, who so full of 
 enthusiasm as we turned over the pages of Latin 
 and Greek lore ! 
 
 O, those glorious winter evenings, when study 
 was a real pleasure, when I wheeled my chair near 
 to the table and set to work with a zest such as I 
 have not since experienced! With what fond desire 
 do I look back upon those times, and wish they were 
 here now — that they would again revisit the glimpses 
 of the moon, and make me feel as I did then ! But, 
 alas ! the glow, the enthusiasm of those days is 
 gone. Gone, never to return, and have only left a 
 memory behind ! But, oh, that memory ! How well 
 can I remember the look of that " Homer ", from
 
 "THE BLIND OLD MAN" 173 
 
 which came such glorious verses, and that big, thick 
 volume ycleped " Liddell and Scott ", that elucidated 
 his knotty points ! O, with what pleasure did we 
 linger over the pages of that old man eloquent, and, 
 as we rolled forth the glowing verses, in imagination 
 
 Behold the Iliad and the Odyssey 
 
 Rise to the swelling of the voiceful sea ! 
 
 We can remember even now our favourite verses, 
 and the way in which we used to recite them, when 
 our hearts would burn within us, and we would 
 forget the present. It was not a difficult matter 
 
 then to 
 
 Make the easily persuaded eyes 
 
 Own each quaint likeness 
 
 to be the form of Achilles, ponderous Ajax, or the 
 filial son — worthy of his sire — bearing through the 
 flames the body of his father ; it was easy to sym- 
 pathise with JEneRS in his wanderings, with Medea 
 in her sorrow, or rise to a pitch of virtuous indigna- 
 tion with Demosthenes or Cicero. From book to 
 book we would go, faithfully performing our allotted 
 tasks, and resting not till all were performed. Hour 
 after hour would speed away unconsciously, until 
 the "wee short hour ayont the twal' " would inform 
 us that it was time to seek " tired Nature's sweet 
 restorer, balmy sleep ". And, like Longfellow's black- 
 smith, we would tuck ourselves into the blankets, 
 feeling that something had been attempted, something 
 done, which earned a night's repose. Ah, happy 
 nights, gone never to be recalled, how quiet and unin- 
 terrupted do you seem now as I look back upon 
 you! There, in m}'' solitary room, I sat, enjoying 
 my quietness, and really studying. Nothing came to 
 interrupt my thoughts, nothing to disturb the even 
 tenor of my way. And I enjoyed it, ay, enjoyed it 
 so as I have never done since.
 
 174 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Thus the time wore on ; the raw and wet weather 
 began to depart, and was succeeded by frost and 
 snow. And yet I was rather surprised one morning 
 when, on drawing up the blind, I found the ground 
 white with its appropriate winter covering. I break- 
 fasted, and went to college. The snow crunched 
 under my feet, the trees overhead looked beautiful 
 in their white, feathery clothing, and through the 
 clear air came the tinkle of the old, cracked bell 
 that had for so many generations rung out its 
 warning from the moss-covered tower. Almost 
 simultaneously with its first sound there issued from 
 the houses that lined the road red-covered figures 
 that rushed in mad haste towards the college. One 
 by one they came forth, dotting the white snow with 
 their brilliant gowns, and in a few minutes entirely 
 disappearing. To a passer-by, or one who would 
 have waited for the two or three minutes that it 
 lasted, it would have been an amusing and strange 
 sight — the silent street, white with snow and scarce 
 marked by a human footstep, the sharp tinkling of 
 the bell on the clear, frosty air, the sudden rush of 
 figures from the houses in picturesque garb, and 
 then a sudden disappearance, and finally the quick 
 return to silence of the former busy place — all must 
 have struck one as very remarkable. 
 
 From time immemorial it had been the practice of 
 the students to have snowball fights, which generally 
 resulted in something more serious. Ranging them- 
 selves into two opposing forces — the Bageants and the 
 Tertians against the Semis and the Magistrands — 
 the fighting would commence within the college quad- 
 rangle, be continued outside, and carried on with 
 the utmost vigour all up the Old Town, amid the 
 crashing of windows, the screams of the women, 
 and the excited cheers of the younger part of the
 
 ALARUMS AND EXCURSIONS 175 
 
 community. Sometimes the place would be for a 
 time entirely in their hands, and no person would be 
 allowed to pass without undergoing rough handling 
 from some of the students. Of course, such conduct 
 was often punished as it deserved, and at times the 
 police force would interfere and capture some of 
 the ringleaders, who had the disagreeable pleasure 
 of being taken before the magistrates and fined 
 pretty heavily for their fun. 
 
 The forenoon passed away without anything 
 remarkable, for almost all the classes separated at 
 different hours. In the afternoon, previous to 
 entering the Greek classroom, a rather ludicrous 
 incident happened, which was likely to be serious in its 
 consequences. When standing under the colonnades, 
 a few of the more riotous commenced an attack upon 
 others who were thus sheltering themselves, and, 
 following it up, drove them pell-me41 into the Greek 
 classroom, pitching after them such quantities of 
 snow that the whole room was covered with the debris. 
 An exit was quickly made, and, fearing the conse- 
 quences, the door was carefully closed and as great 
 a distance as possible placed between it and the 
 perpetrators. I, conscious of having done nothing 
 worthy of blame, stood against one of the pillars, to 
 watch the upshot of the matter. Presently John 
 Smith, the sacrist, came from the Moral Philosophy 
 classroom, where he had been stirring the fire, and 
 made his way towards that which we had just left. 
 As he stalked along under these colonnades his face 
 and figure were a study. The poker was pendant 
 from his right hand, held by the nob which formed 
 its upper extremity, and as he moved along in the 
 stealthy manner peculiar to him, it swung backwards 
 and forwards, while he himself hummed a tune and 
 looked neither to left nor right. A ball came whizzing
 
 176 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 past his ear, almost knocking off his hat, but John, 
 never deigning to Hft his eyes, stalked on, a perfect 
 specimen of contented happiness. At last he drew 
 near the place we dreaded. With a smile on his face 
 and a whistle on his lips he turned the handle and 
 went in. But, oh, the look of his face when his 
 eyes lighted upon the scene of disorder inside ! He 
 stood like one turned to stone, his mouth still formed 
 as if to hum a tune, and the poker oscillating down 
 to its lowest point. For the life of us we could not 
 keep from bursting into a loud laugh, hearing which 
 John turned round, and, with a face red with 
 anger, swore an oath worthy of the gods that he 
 would make us pay for it. After explaining the 
 matter, and helping him to clean it out, his anger was 
 somewhat appeased, and the room made presentable 
 before the arrival of the Professor. 
 
 My cousin had told me that a pitched battle was 
 likely to take place at the end of the day's work if 
 the Bageants showed any pluck. " So, mind you, 
 old boy ", said he, " you must show a good front, 
 for I will be on your side to-day." 
 
 For your sake or my own ? " inquired I. 
 
 " For both." 
 I will do my best. I am delighted that you side 
 with us. There is no doubt we will show them what 
 the despised Bageants can do." 
 
 " Well, let us see. But remember that it will 
 likely happen, when we get into the hard of it, that 
 all minor differences will cease, and each man fight 
 for himself." 
 
 " O, that's the way, is it ? Very well, it is better 
 to be prepared for the worst, so I'll look alive." 
 
 " I'd advise you." 
 I suppose we are certain to have a fight at the 
 close of the classes for the day."
 
 "ARMA VIRUMQUE CANO" 177 
 
 So certain, that you will find the whole of us 
 ready waiting at your classroom door, prepared with 
 any amount of balls to do damage on your forms." 
 
 " That's hardly fair, I think." 
 
 " My dear fellow, you must bear with it. We all 
 had to bear it in the days of our Bageantdom, and 
 so must you." 
 
 " The best way, then, is to repay the same with 
 interest." 
 
 " Just so. I would advise you to do it." 
 
 " I shall." 
 
 " Then you must take the consequences." 
 I suppose I must." 
 
 And so we found it as my cousin had said. We 
 struggled hard to get out into the quadrangle, but 
 the great crowd in front was an effectual barrier, and 
 had it not been for the immense pressure from 
 behind we might have remained there long enough. 
 By dint of sheer animal strength we managed to 
 gradually push back the mass opposed to us, and 
 now, free to use our arms, allowed our enemies to 
 feel their full force. As it was impossible to attack 
 them properly in the quadrangle, we determined to 
 drive them outside into the open space in front of the 
 college. This, however, they strenuously resisted, 
 but, little by little, we compelled them to move back- 
 wards, the windows crashing on all sides, and, after 
 a final stand under the arch, we had the pleasure of 
 seeing them pour out into the open space, where 
 there was plenty of artillery of war and no danger of 
 receiving embedded in a snow-ball a hard substance 
 of the nature of stone. 
 
 And now it was a grand sight to watch them, to 
 
 hear the shouts of defiance, and to note the various 
 
 ebbs and flows of the battle. Like a shower of a 
 
 thousand meteors the balls flew in circles through 
 
 13
 
 178 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 the air and " thudded " against the opponents. 
 Some, more venturesome than the others, rushed 
 forward and attacked, single-handed, a number of the 
 enemy. But they generally paid for their temerity 
 by being well pelted or driven back ingloriously. One 
 side, jeering the other, got them to pass the iron 
 chain which ran along each side of the path, then, 
 rushing upon them, tripped them up and rolled them 
 among the snow. Gradually the fun became fast 
 and furious, for they began to come to close quarters 
 and the blood was up. Their arms were raised as 
 shields, their eyes watched the eye of their adver- 
 saries, and, " at advantage ta'en ", they discharged 
 the missiles in the faces of those opposed to them. 
 The discharge was returned as quickly, and the two 
 would become locked in an embrace which even the 
 cold snow did not unloose. Again and again the 
 same thing was repeated with a little variation. 
 Blood spouted from many a nasal organ, black grew 
 the eyes that formerly danced with glee, closed was 
 the mouth that raised the defiant shout, while in 
 many places over the field there were marks indicative 
 of something else than snow. The honour of each 
 keeps him on the field, and when there are any 
 symptoms of wavering they raise a shout and rush 
 upon the foe. 
 
 I had received sundry severe knocks which had 
 not particularly improved my temper, but I endeav- 
 oured to subdue it and prove myself a not unworthy 
 Bageant. I had placed myself near my cousin, sure 
 that in his neighbourhood I would be likelj^ to come 
 in for a good share of the fun. In the very midst of 
 the turmoil I heard a dull smash, and turning round 
 said, " Hullo, what's that?" 
 
 " Nothing particular! Only a ball right on my 
 proboscis, from which it has extracted the ' claret '.
 
 HOLDING THE FORT 179 
 
 It strikes me I know who threw it, and if I can I shall 
 repay it." 
 
 "Who was it?" 
 
 " Never mind. Watch your own. If they catch 
 hold of you, they'll initiate you into the mysteries." 
 
 " What mysteries?" 
 
 " The mysteries of a snow bath." 
 
 " What is that? " said I, as I knelt down to make a 
 ball. 
 
 " You'll soon know, perhaps too soon. Ah ! is that 
 something good ? " 
 
 " Rather. Had it been a little harder it would 
 have been an illuminated eye. Come, let us make a 
 rush on those beggars in the corner, and drive them 
 back." 
 
 "And be left in the lurch myself. Not jolly likely. 
 I know that thing too well. None but a Bageant 
 would propose such a preposterous thing," 
 
 "All right. Tip that fellow's 'claret' that stands 
 by the gate. He has twice hit me on the side of the 
 head, and I cannot manage him." 
 
 " Then, here goes. But it is no use. He's too 
 wideawake. Let us both pitch into him, and then we 
 may have a chance. He's an old salt, as you may 
 easily see." 
 
 Have into him ! There, take that — and that — 
 and that", cried I, as I threw ball after ball at him, 
 and received a shout of defiance in return. " Hang 
 him, he's invulnerable." 
 
 " That's what I told you. Don't waste shot upon 
 him. Let's pitch into this lot. They have kept 
 together for a while, and will be the better of being 
 split up. They are always found in a knot. It 
 strikes me they are the members of one family, and 
 ought to be buried in ' the graves of a household '." 
 
 " Let us try and do it, then."
 
 180 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 "All right, but take care they don't catch you, 
 for assuredly they will make you pay for it." 
 
 Here goes, then ! " and we rushed on, followed 
 by some of our companions. 
 
 "Come on, my hearties, come on, come on!" 
 cried one of them. " Let's try your mettle. Let us 
 see what stuff you are made of." 
 
 "He's like the boastful Diomede", said my 
 cousin, " or the Norwegian who challenged the whole 
 of the Scotch. Give him something nice — a 'slusher' 
 right on the nose — it will quieten him for a little. 
 Ah, there it is! No, not quite — better luck next 
 time. Take a more steady aim, mon cher coz." 
 
 As he said this, a ball came full in his eye and 
 stopped it up. Wheeling round, he proceeded to 
 extract the extraneous matter, so that I was left 
 entirely unprotected to the full force of my enemies' 
 missiles. And they did pitch into us, so vigorously 
 that our companions were driven from the field, and 
 I was left alone to guard my cousin. As soon as he 
 managed to clear his eye of the loose snow, he turned 
 round to repay them for their kindness, when the 
 other was as summarily closed, so that he became of 
 no further use. Close up they came, whacking 
 away at us as if we were so many pieces of inanimate 
 matter. At last one cried, " Down with the Bageant! 
 Toss him! Toss him! Roll him in the snow! 
 Give him a bath ! Give him a bath ! " And 
 before I was aware of what was intended, they 
 threw me down, tossed the snow about me, rolled 
 me up and down in it, and in the most uncere- 
 monious manner possible tore open the front of 
 my shirt and proceeded to push down nij^ breast 
 handful after handful of the cold snow. I yelled, I 
 roared, I kicked ; I did everything that a man under 
 such circumstances would be supposed to do, but all
 
 A SNOW BATH 181 
 
 in vain. Two or three burly fellows held me down, 
 and when they had stuffed in as much as they could, 
 one big Highlander, in whose hands I was as a child, 
 seized me by the back of the coat, and, drawing me 
 up to my full height, shook me as a miller would do a 
 sack, to fill up all the empties which might be near 
 the bottom. O, the cold, cold trickling which I felt 
 running down my breast, stomach, and legs, and 
 which made me yell out every time he shook me up 
 and let me fall again upon the ground ! It took away 
 my breath and left me panting and speechless, when 
 they very unceremoniously tossed me down among 
 the snow and proceeded to initiate some other poor 
 Bageant into the mysteries of a snow bath. 
 
 I rose up, feeling extremely queer about the 
 region of the stomach, and gathered myself together, 
 for I felt as if I had been shaken all to pieces. I 
 looked round and saw others undergoing the same 
 rough ordeal, and emitting as loud j^ells as I had 
 done. Some were to be seen rolled off the field as 
 white as the snow on which they lay; others in some 
 quiet corner feeling with tender fingers their nasal 
 organs, against which a hard 'slusher' had unfortun- 
 ately been directed ; others wiping their black eyes 
 and swollen lips, which had given a laughable 
 appearance to their features ; and a few, with rage 
 depicted on their countenances, following in hot 
 haste some unfortunate Bageants who had taken 
 to their heels, and whose red gowns were to be seen 
 fluttering in the breeze. 
 
 As we made our way up the hill, the people in the 
 houses on the route, warned by past experience, 
 came out to close their shutters. This at once 
 withdrew the attention of the students from them- 
 selves, and promised some amusement. Such of the 
 inmates, therefore, as ventured to show their faces
 
 1S2 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 as we approached were rather roughly handled, and 
 their doors and windows battered. One old virago, 
 well known to the students, was pelted most 
 unmercifully as she made for her door after having 
 vainly tried to fasten her rickety shutter. Turning 
 round when she gained the shelter of her house, 
 and shaking her fist in the air, she cried out, 
 
 " G'wa' hame wi' ye, ye scoon'rels. Canna ye lat 
 an honest body aleen? Fa troubles ye, I wid like to 
 ken ? Fat sorra seek ye vvi' the like o' his ? We 
 never trouble ye, I'm sure." 
 
 " He}', Betty! Foo's a' wi' ye?" inquired Lock- 
 hart, with a serio-comic air. 
 
 " Nane the better o' yer speerin'. G'wa' hame, wi' 
 yer impidence." 
 
 " By an' by, Betty. Foo's the bairns?" 
 
 " Fat's your business? Aff wi' ye. I dinna wint 
 to hae onything to dee wi' murderers." 
 
 " Foo that, Betty ? " 
 
 "Fa kill't Doonie, I wid like to ken? Some o' 
 your lot, I'se wager." 
 
 "Ay; it wis that scamp there", said Lockhart, 
 with a serious face, pointing to a big, burly High- 
 landman who was standing looking on. " He kiU't 
 'im wi' his dirk." 
 
 " O, the blackgaird! Lat meat 'im", cried she, 
 in virtuous indignation, forgetting all about the 
 assault upon her own person. " Gin I hid 'im, I wid 
 kaim 'is heid for 'im." 
 
 " Nae doot, Betty. He's an awfa blackgaird. 
 But, hullo! Is this your pan? What kind of metal 
 is it?" and he held it aloft as if he were about to 
 dash it to pieces upon the stones beneath. 
 
 " Gweed preserve's a'. My gweed aul' pan, 
 that's laistit me for nearly ten years. Gweed 
 keep's an' guide's; fat dis the laddie mean? Pit it
 
 BROKEN WINDOWS 183 
 
 doon. Pit it doon, I say, or I'll rive the goon afF yer 
 back." 
 
 " I winna pit it doon, Betty. I'll dash it to bits 
 upon this steen." 
 
 " I'd jist like to see ye", said Betty, as she drew 
 near with the sly object of catching hold of the 
 precious pan. " Surely ye widna dee the like o' that 
 to a peer body like me, as brak' my aul' pan, surely 
 na", and she made a grasp at it, which Lockhart 
 had expected, and neatly evaded. 
 
 " Na, na, Betty ; ye're nae sae quick as ye thocht. 
 Ye've missed it this time." 
 
 " I'll maybe get it neist time, though." 
 
 " Nae if I can help it. I wid seener throw it 
 ower the hoose intae the field." 
 
 " Na, ye widna dee that, I'm sure. Hullo, fatna 
 professor is that comin' up the toon?" said she, 
 pointing down the hill, and as Lockhart turned his 
 head suddenly in that direction, she pulled the pan 
 from him and disappeared within the door. 
 
 Lockhart, though taken aback, took in very good 
 part the laugh that was now turned against him, 
 but flew into a furious passion when he heard the 
 balls crashing through the poor woman's windows. 
 The breaking of glass is like the letting out of 
 water — once give it a beginning and it increases in 
 magnitude. Some foolish fellow had thrown one, 
 and the rest could not resist the temptation. Lock- 
 hart shouted and gesticulated, but all was of no use, 
 until he went and put himself between them and the 
 poor woman's window. Then, in a loud and angry 
 voice, he said, " Pick me out the fellow who threw 
 that first ball and I'll pay him for it. It is the most 
 cowardly trick I have seen for many a day. Is it 
 not enough that we break the windows of those 
 who are able to pay for them? Those who have
 
 184 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 done this ought to be ashamed of themselves, and 
 come forward at once and pay for the breakages. 
 I'll give a shilling. Who will follow my example ?" 
 
 " Here you are, old fellow! " " Here's another", 
 " And another ", " And another ", came from a 
 number of voices, and in a short time a sum far 
 greater than the value of the broken panes was 
 collected. 
 
 " Now, Betty ", said Lockhart, " here's as much 
 money as will pay all your broken windows, and 
 allow something to repair those that are cracked. 
 It was not my fault that the panes were broken, 
 though I suppose I was the original cause, but I do 
 not regret it now if it will in any way help to make 
 you a little more comfortable." 
 
 " Thank you, my lad. I'll never say ye're a bad 
 lot again, an' never anger ye by ca'in' ye names ", 
 and, as she said so, she disappeared within her own 
 door and we made our way home.
 
 CHAPTER XVI 
 
 I took the dead man by his hand, 
 And call'd upon his name ! 
 
 — Hood: " Tlic Dream of Etigene Aram." 
 
 " Lockhart", said I, one day shortly after the snow- 
 ball fight, " I want you to tell me that story of 
 Downie." 
 
 "All right, old boy! As I like to satisfy the 
 curiosity of anyone concerning his dear college, I 
 shall be happy to do so. Meanwhile, I would advise 
 you to fill your pipe, and, while I give you the 
 particulars, you can amuse yourself during the dry 
 details by smoking the soothing weed." 
 
 Having done so to his satisfaction and my own, 
 he proceeded to his tale in the following manner: — - 
 
 I suppose I need not inform you that at one 
 time the students lived within the precincts of the 
 building, and were therefore more under the control 
 of their professors than they are now. The rooms 
 so used are still to be seen, if you take the trouble 
 to walk up the stair that leads past the Moral 
 Philosophy Classroom, deserted and bare, but still 
 retaining many a mark of those who once lived and 
 wrought there. When this ceased I cannot tell, but 
 there is no doubt it arose from the fact of the 
 students becoming too numerous to be conveniently 
 lodged within the boundaries of the college walls. 
 For a time the professors seem to have allowed the 
 overplus to live within a certain distance of the
 
 186 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 college, under landladies appointed by themselves, 
 and in houses, as some think, erected for the 
 purpose. But, whether this was the case or not, 
 certain it is that the part thus inhabited, and over 
 which the college authorities had full power, was then 
 called College Bounds — the name which it still 
 retains. But even these houses became too limited, 
 and the practice was entirely done away with, to the 
 great satisfaction of the college authorities, who no 
 doubt found looking after the students as difficult a 
 matter as it is now in the southern colleges. The 
 more modern — in some respects more rational, and 
 in our estimation more free-and-easy — method was 
 adopted of allowing students to live where they 
 pleased, and of taking no control over them except 
 with reference to their lessons and their appearance 
 and conduct in the classes. Sometimes the pro- 
 fessors have tried to recover the old power, which 
 had fallen from their hands through long disuse, but 
 it has generally been to their own hurt, as the 
 students have manfully resisted any encroachment 
 on their rights, and clubbed together bravely to 
 prevent it. The day of their power in matters not 
 academic is completely gone, and though some of 
 them do occasionally fume and sweat and assume 
 despotic airs, it is only as the dying efforts of a mud 
 volcano, and we can afford to smile at it. It is well, 
 perhaps, that a little daylight should be thrown upon 
 this subject, for it is said that the meetings of the 
 Senatus of old times were in many cases like those 
 of the famous Venetian Republic — secret, final, and 
 often enriching to the pockets of the members. 
 
 " You can easily suppose that during the con- 
 tinuance of this system of residence there would be 
 many a prank played by the students, and many a 
 fine imposed upon them for their dereliction of
 
 INSIDE RESIDEK'CE 187 
 
 college rules. Human nature at that time was 
 much the same as it is now ; in fact, from the 
 manner of living then common, was even more free, 
 and you can easily imagine how readily your opposi- 
 tion would arise were you cooped up within a certain 
 space, and forbidden to leave it after a certain hour 
 in the evening. The records of Oxford and Cam- 
 bridge show this readiness to resist undue control, 
 and the story I am about to relate will prove that 
 our students were not one whit behind them in this 
 respect. 
 
 " Most of the students then, as now, attending 
 our college were from the country, chiefly from the 
 northern and western counties, including, of course, 
 the western islands. It was not to be expected that 
 young men, accustomed all their lives to freedom of 
 movement in every way and at every time, would 
 tamely submit to such a restraint as they found 
 when they came to college. At first, the awe 
 inspired by academic dignitaries, which we all, as 
 Bageants, have experienced, operated as a check, 
 but when the ' freshness ' had worn off and the 
 control had become irksome, many attempts were 
 made to break through the rules, and to get beyond 
 the precincts of the college after hours. Of course, 
 there were the usual captures and the usual punish- 
 ments, followed again and again by other derelictions 
 of duty, until, as usual, the professors and certain of 
 the students were at open war. 
 
 " In their efforts for the detection and capture of 
 offending students the professors were ably seconded 
 by the sacrist or porter at the time, named Downie. 
 This man seems to have been very vigorous and 
 unbending in the discharge of his duty, and to have 
 performed it in a manner that gained for him the 
 deep hatred of all the students. Bribes, entreaties,
 
 ISS LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 cajolings, all the arts of young men (and they are 
 many) were tried upon his stony heart in vain, for he 
 remained as immovable as the nether millstone. 
 Any student arriving on the last tinkle of the bell 
 would find the door shut in his face, and a fine 
 awaiting him, while if he had been absent from his 
 rooms after hours, or had climbed the walls and 
 escaped into the town, woe betide him, for Downie 
 was sure to ferret it out, and leave no stone unturned 
 to have him punished. In their own rooms, too, 
 social meetings of any kind were forbidden, and 
 should any, braving the consequences, attempt to hold 
 such a meeting, on the least excuse Downie would be 
 down upon them, demand entrance, and having 
 obtained it, take down the names of the delinquents, 
 and, as sure as to-morrow's sun rose, would their 
 names be placed before the Senatus and some 
 punishment more or less severe inflicted. 
 
 Numerous petty acts of this kind had enraged 
 the students to an extent that was dangerous, and 
 which ought to have received the attention of the 
 heads of the college. But, as is often the case, such 
 things don't come to the ears of those in power until 
 they are past all remedy. It was so in this instance. 
 The professors had really no idea that Downie was so 
 vigorous in the performance of his duties, and 
 thought, as men cooped up in cloisters readily do, that 
 the exuberance of youth and the noise of the outward 
 world were things beneath their notice. But they 
 were to be roused from their lethargy in a manner 
 that surprised them all. 
 
 " Matters were brought to a culminating point by 
 the officious and meddling conduct of Downie on 
 Bursary night. As you know, the students generally 
 have social gatherings on that evening, and these 
 principally at some of the public-houses in the town.
 
 DOWNIE SUMMONED 189 
 
 Downie's powers did not extend beyond the precincts 
 of the college, or, at farthest, the college bounds, but 
 on this occasion he seems to have come into town, 
 and, walking through it, called at various houses where 
 he knew or suspected the students to be assembled, 
 and noted down those whom he found there. Had 
 he been caught, there is little doubt that, in the 
 excited state of the students, he might have been 
 roughly handled, perhaps murdered, for at that time 
 the Highlander, fresh from his hills, did not trouble 
 himself very much, when his blood was up, about 
 driving his dirk into the body of his enemy. 
 Fortunatelj^, however, he arrived at home in safety, 
 but next day he provoked the students afresh by 
 causing a number of them to be brought up before 
 the Senatus and fined for drunk and disorderly 
 conduct on Bursary night. 
 
 Some, roused to madness by this conduct, 
 determined to punish him in a ludicrous manner, yet 
 in such a way as to leave a deep impression on his 
 mind. Hiring a room in one of the hotels, still 
 standing in an alley leading off from the main street, 
 they prepared it for their purpose, and sent one of 
 their number to inform Downie that he was wanted 
 very particularly by some person in this house of 
 entertainment. His wife, who happened to answer 
 the call, informed the visitor that he would come 
 immediately. The messenger had scarcely returned 
 when Downie made his appearance, and was ushered 
 into a room, at the door of which two men were 
 standing, whose faces he could not make out owing 
 to the darkness and to their being partly masked. 
 His surprise was great when he found the room 
 draped in black, and figures scattered here and there 
 through it in the same sable garb and covered with 
 masks. On a raised seat sat one habited in a judge's
 
 190 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 robes, while round a table, which stood in front of the 
 judge, sat two or three in gowns and wigs, so deeply 
 occupied in their own conversation as to be seemingly 
 unconscious of the entrance of a visitor. Round the 
 room sat others in solemn silence, and looking gravely 
 to the ground as if the occasion was one of the 
 greatest seriousness. The poor man looked round 
 him somewhat terrified by the unexpected appearance 
 of the room and the ominous silence which reigned 
 after he had entered, and the young men seemed 
 determined not to relieve him from his embar- 
 rassment, but to let the scene make a deep impression 
 upon his mind. At last Downie broke the silence by 
 saying — ' I'm afraid, gentlemen, I have made a 
 mistake. I was sent for b}'' some person at this 
 hotel, and I must have been ushered into the wrong 
 room.' 
 
 " The silence continued for some time after he 
 had spoken, broken only by the scribbling of the pens 
 over the paper. Evidently taken aback, the poor 
 man stood for a few seconds irresolute, and then 
 said, ' I shall therefore, gentlemen, with your per- 
 mission, retire '. 
 
 " Suddenly, from the raised seat, rose a tall 
 figure, which said, ' Downie, you are summoned here 
 to answer a serious charge brought against you b}^ 
 certain of the gentlemen present. Guards, do your 
 duty! Conduct the prisoner to the bar.' 
 
 " Two figures stepped from a dark corner in the 
 room and marched towards the prisoner. They had 
 helmets on their heads, visors on their faces, battle- 
 axes supported on their shoulders, and their armour 
 clanked with an ominous sound as they approached 
 and pushed, rather than led, Downie in the direction 
 of what bore a striking resemblance to the bar seen 
 at the Circuit Courts. The poor man mechanically
 
 "GUILTY OR NOT GUILTY?" 191 
 
 obeyed, as if in a dream, and stood as if dazed by 
 the whole scene. 
 
 " The judge then, in a loud voice, cried out, 
 ' Read the indictment against the prisoner'. 
 
 " One of the lawyers who had been seated at the 
 table industriously scribbling, rose up, and, lifting a 
 paper, proceeded to read the charge brought against 
 the prisoner. It consisted of acts offensive and 
 hostile to the students, excess of duty on every 
 occasion, particularly on the late Bursary night, 
 when he so far exceeded his duty as to force himself 
 into people's houses and interfere with private 
 arrangements — all stated and noted in that peculiar 
 phraseology which, of course, I need not give you. 
 
 "After this formidable paper had been read, the 
 judge rose, and asked in a solemn voice, ' Prisoner, 
 do you plead guilty or not guilty? ' 
 
 Downie, who seemed now to have somewhat 
 recovered his senses, said, ' Gentlemen, I think we 
 have now had enough of this nonsense. I have 
 other things to do than to waste my time here on 
 such tomfoolery. Let me go. I have had enough 
 of this joke.' 
 
 ' It is no joke, I can assure you ', replied the 
 judge. ' I again ask the question — -Do you plead 
 guilty or not guilty ? ' 
 
 " ' I repeat it — we have had enough of this non- 
 sense. I have no objections to entirely overlook this 
 matter if you at once cease and allow me to depart.' 
 
 " ' I again ask you — ' Do you plead guilty or not 
 guilty?' 
 
 " ' Let me go, gentlemen ', said he, growing 
 alarmed. ' This is really passing beyond a joke.' 
 
 " ' I again ask you — Do you plead guilty or not 
 guilty? If you do not plead the one or the other we 
 shall at once proceed to proof.'
 
 192 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Gentlemen, this is going beyond the bounds of 
 propriety. I leave you to your foolishness, and will 
 most certainly report it to the Senatus', and Downie 
 turned round as if to leave the room. 
 
 "As he did so, the guards suddenly lowered their 
 weapons, and pointed them at him so threateningly 
 that he drew back and stood still. The judge then 
 said, ' You need not attempt to escape, for not only 
 are you guarded here, but the door also, so that no 
 one can leave or enter the room without giving the 
 countersign. I again ask you whether j'ou plead 
 guilty or not guilty ? ' 
 
 Downie replied not, but stood sullenly looking 
 around him. 
 
 We shall then proceed to proof, continued the 
 judge. ' But as we are determined that everything 
 shall be done decently and in order, so that you shall 
 not have to complain of not having received justice 
 at our hands, we appoint a counsel to plead your 
 case, and a jury shall be empanelled according to the 
 laws of this realm.' 
 
 " So saying, a jury was fixed upon after the usual 
 disputes on the part of his counsel, and the case went 
 to proof. It was ably argued on both sides, the 
 witnesses being cross-examined keenly by both the 
 advocates, and some very telling facts elicited. The 
 judge cleared up several obscure points by some 
 very pertinent questions and by his speech at the 
 close, after which the jury retired to consider their 
 verdict. After an absence of about fifteen minutes 
 they returned and announced that they had come to 
 a unanimous verdict, and when the judge demanded 
 what it was, the foreman answered that it was a ver- 
 dict of 'guilty on all the counts'. The judge, turning 
 to Downie, inquired, ' Have you anything to say why 
 sentence of death should not be passed on you ? '
 
 TEN MINUTES' GRACE 193 
 
 " The poor man, now really alarmed, said — 
 ' Gentlemen, this has now gone far enough; allow me 
 to depart and I shall say nothing about it. I have 
 already been too long away from my duty and will be 
 missed. Do, do, let me go.' 
 
 ■' ' Have you anything to say why sentence of 
 death should not be passed on you?' still inquired 
 the judge. 
 
 " ' Do, gentlemen, do let me go. No, no, I have 
 nothing. Let me go, and I promise you you shall 
 never have reason to complain of me again.' 
 
 " ' Then you have nothing to say why the extreme 
 penalty of the law should not be performed on you ? 
 Then', continued the judge, assuming the black cap, 
 ' I pass the sentence that you shall suffer death by the 
 hands of the public headsman, that your head shall 
 be severed from your body, and may God have mercy 
 on your soul.' 
 
 " When he had finished, there was silence for a few 
 seconds, and then he said, ' Headsman, stand forth ! 
 Guards, do your duty ! Prisoner, you are allowed 
 ten minutes to make your peace with God, and to ask 
 pardon for your many past sins.' 
 
 " The wretched man, now alarmed beyond all 
 measure, begged piteously for his life, but his stony- 
 hearted accusers were as stern as he had been to 
 them. Throwing himself on his knees before the 
 judge, he cried out, ' Have pity on me! Have pity 
 on me! I will never do the like again. I will never 
 be so severe upon you after this. Think, O, think! 
 if you will not have pity upon me — think upon my 
 poor wife and family. Let me see them. Let me see 
 them before I die.' 
 
 " ' As you treated us so shall you be treated ', was 
 the stern reply of the judge. 'You have already 
 wasted some of those precious minutes which are 
 14
 
 194 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 between you and the block. Be persuaded, and 
 prepare yourself for death. I can assure you that 
 no prayers and entreaties will move us any more 
 than our prayers and tears moved you.' 
 
 Persuaded against his will, he knelt down where 
 he stood and prayed as he had never prayed before. 
 In the solemn silence naught was heard but the 
 hurried breathing of the victim and the loud ticking 
 of the watch which remorselessly marked off the 
 few minutes he was to live. Quickly to the wretched 
 man they flew past, each one more rapidly than the 
 other. Too soon, far too soon, the voice of the 
 judge was heard, ' Prisoner, the hour is come ! 
 Guards, do your duty ! ' 
 
 " The two men-at-arms almost lifted the half- 
 unconscious man, and led him to the other side of 
 the room where stood the headsman with his 
 glittering axe. At his feet stood the block on which 
 the final end of justice was to be performed. 
 Downie never spoke a word, and offered no resist- 
 ance as they placed him in the position necessary 
 for the headsman. Then, at a sign from the judge, 
 the executioner did his duty, i.e., he brought a wet 
 towel down upon the bare neck of the poor fellow, 
 instead of his dreaded axe. When this was done, a 
 voice cried out, ' Rise, Downie ! You have expiated 
 the penalty due to your crimes.' 
 
 " But Downie rose not. The executioner for the 
 nonce lifted him up, but he fell down again as if in a 
 swoon, and had all the appearance of one who was 
 dead. For a long time they tried every means to 
 restore animation, but without success, and they 
 were at last compelled to acknowledge that the poor 
 man had died from fright, and that what they had 
 intended as a joke had turned out a fearful reality. 
 The poor fellows stared at each other in speechless
 
 DEATH TO TRAITORS 195 
 
 horror, at a loss what to do, when one of their 
 number — said to be a son of Donald, Lord of the 
 Isles — went to the door, called in the guards, locked 
 it, and put the key in his pocket. Then, turning to 
 his companions, he said, ' For this night's work we 
 are all liable to the same penalty. The only way in 
 which this can be prevented is to bind ourselves by 
 a solemn oath to inviolable secrecy. From this 
 room no one shall go until he shall have sworn an 
 oath — the most solemn and binding that can be made 
 — that he will never divulge this secret as long as 
 God gives him breath. If he does not, this dagger 
 which I hold in my hand shall make him as dead as 
 the man on whom we practised our joke. And, 
 moreover, we sh^l swear to pursue the divulger of 
 this secret to the death, wherever, whenever, and for 
 whatever reason he may have made it known. I call 
 upon the guards, the judge, and the rest who wish to 
 save their lives, to support me in this.' 
 
 " In an instant the rest of the students were at 
 his side, ready to support him in his resolution and 
 to follow out his orders. By the most solemn and 
 stringent oaths all then bound themselves never to 
 divulge the secret of Downie's death, and to search 
 out and cause the death of any who should do so. 
 Then, collecting all the paraphernalia of the court, 
 and taking care that nothing should remain that 
 would lead to their detection, they made their way 
 to their rooms, leaving the body of Downie lying 
 where it was. 
 
 "Alarmed at his long-continued absence, Downie's 
 wife sent to the place to which he had been sum- 
 moned, and was informed that he had not been 
 there. Greatly surprised at such a message, and 
 fully aware of the feelings of the students towards 
 him, she caused the landlady — who knew not the
 
 196 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 state of matters — to search the rooms, and the body 
 of her husband was found lying on the floor as if he 
 had dropped down dead. Suspicious of foul play, 
 she at once went to the college authorities, and 
 informed them of what had happened. Assembling 
 the students in the public hall in the morning, they 
 placed them upon oath, and having obtained infor- 
 mation regarding a meeting of the students in this 
 hotel the previous evening, they used every art to 
 sift it to the bottom and deliver up the offenders to 
 justice. So well, however, had the students laid 
 their plans, so carefully had they removed every 
 clue, and so excellently had they disguised them- 
 selves both before the landlady and Downie's wife, 
 that neither, when examined, could give the slightest 
 positive information as to the parties who had been 
 the perpetrators of the outrage. For days and 
 weeks the authorities continued to investigate the 
 matter without any better success, and when at last 
 they saw they were fairly baffled, the Principal, out 
 of all patience at being unable to fix upon the exact 
 parties, though he knew well thej^ were before him, 
 gave vent to an expression which has been handed 
 down to our time, and which we often get cast in our 
 teeth in the present day, ' Ye're a' airt an' pairt in 
 Downie's slauchter '." 
 
 "And did they never find it out?" inquired I, as 
 Lockhart made a pause. 
 
 " Of course they must, at some time or other, 
 else how could we have known the full particulars? 
 The fact is, it was told by an old man — one of the 
 principal actors in the aflair — on his deathbed, and, 
 as he thought, the only survivor of those who had 
 been present. He declared that that scene had 
 never for one hour of his long life been absent from 
 his thoughts, and that he could say the same of
 
 "AIRT AN' PAIRT" 197 
 
 almost every one of the young men who experienced 
 such a fatal termination to a practical joke." 
 
 " It says a great deal for the students that they 
 kept their oath so faithfully. It was a wonder, 
 however, that something did not leak out." 
 
 " You must remember that the appliances for the 
 detection of crime were not then so perfect as they 
 are now. Even in our own day many great crimes 
 remain undiscovered. It has also to be taken into 
 account that many of the young men were the sons 
 of persons in good circumstances, and in those days 
 that covered a multitude of sins." 
 
 " True. About what time was it? " 
 
 ' I really cannot say, as I make it a point never 
 to retain any dates in my head that I can avoid, as I 
 have plenty from ' George '. Anyway, it is said that 
 the velvet collar which we formerly wore on our 
 red cloaks was removed to commemorate this action. 
 Mind you, I do not vouch for this." 
 
 So, so ; I should say it was a lesson to the 
 future janitors." 
 
 Yes, and to the students also. From that day 
 to this we have never been pestered by the petty 
 spite and those small annoyances which characterized 
 the reign of that man. It did good, though it must 
 be allowed it was a most desperate cure." 
 
 Note. — Since writing this chapter we have seen the account 
 of this same tragic event given by the author of a little hook 
 entitled " Fifty Years Ago". He says that the Principal and 
 professors were dining that evening with the judges in the 
 neighbouring city, which might easily account for the court- 
 house scene enacted by the students. In every other par- 
 ticular the story is the same as we have given, except that the 
 scene of the drama is the library of the college and not a room
 
 198 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 in a hotel. This, we would venture to suggest, is incorrect, 
 for tradition points to the place, and in all tradition there is a 
 certain grain of truth ; and, besides, this fact we never heard 
 even questioned. We remember reading a very excellent 
 account of this same drama in " Household Words", said to be 
 written by Andrew Halliday, but we have never been able to 
 lay our hands upon it again.
 
 CHAPTER XVII 
 
 And I'll tell in simple language what I know about 
 
 the row 
 That broke up our society upon the Stanislow. 
 
   — Bret Harte. 
 
 One lovely forenoon towards the end of February 
 a number of us were taking a walk, during the 
 interval between the forenoon and the afternoon class, 
 along some of those shady lanes that are to be found 
 in such numbers scattered about the outskirts of 
 this old university town. We had rambled far away 
 into nooks before unknown to us or any of our 
 companions, and were again drawing near the 
 college, when we noticed a crowd of people standing 
 by the side of the road. Prompted by curiosity we 
 drew near, and saw that it was one of that light- 
 fingered fraternity, called thimble-riggers, \\ho was 
 doing his best to induce some of the passers-by to 
 try their luck with his pea and thimble, A number 
 of the bystanders, evidently novices in the matter, 
 stared with eager eyes at the seeming simplicity of 
 the trick, and thought that the man must be a fool 
 who would allow another to take up his money on 
 such easy terms. The man himself was expatiating 
 in glowing terms upon the immense probability that 
 the person attempting it would be successful, and 
 his eloquence had a great effect upon the crowd. 
 One big, burly countryman pushed himself forward, 
 and stood with a look of anxiety and eagerness fixed
 
 200 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 on the board where the thimble-rigger had arranged 
 his articles. 
 
 " It is the simplest thing in the world, gentlemen. 
 I take the pea, put it under the thimble, move them 
 about in this manner, and ask you under which the 
 pea was put. Now, you cannot have any hesitation 
 in deciding, for anyone with the least penetration 
 would say that it was under this, w^hich, of course, it 
 is ", and the fellow lifted the thimble and showed 
 the pea. 
 
 " Now, suppose we try it again. Nothing like a 
 variety of ways to show how things are done. I take 
 this thimble, and place it above this pea that you see 
 here — there it stands. I take these two also, and 
 place them alongside of it. You can tell at once 
 where the pea is. But let me move them round in 
 the following manner — so — and so — and so. Now, 
 where is the pea? You will say under this one. You 
 are mistaken : it is under the other, for I moved it to 
 one side when shuffling them, and put the other in 
 its place. Thus you see that all you require is just a 
 little care and watchfulness. Will you have a trial, 
 sir?" said he, addressing the countryman, who was 
 looking eagerly on. " I'll bet a shilling that you will 
 not tell me under which of those thimbles that pea 
 was put." 
 
 " That one, of course ", said he. 
 
 "Ah, you've gained it", replied he, lifting it up 
 and showing the pea, " but you did not table your 
 shilling. Have another trial?" 
 
 " I will ", said he, as he tabled the money. " It's 
 under that one." 
 
 " Right again, my man. You are rather sharp, 
 I must allow. Double the stakes. Put half-a- 
 crown instead of a shilling, and see if you will be as 
 lucky."
 
 "O, FICKLE FORTUNE!" 201 
 
 " Here it is", said he, as he pulled one from his 
 pocket and laid it on the table. 
 
 " All right. We shall see whether luck will 
 follow you this time, or whether I am to have a 
 share of it. It is hardly fair that it should always be 
 on your side. Now, sir", said he, as he moved the 
 things about and put them into various places, 
 " under which does the pea lie — this — or this — or 
 this?" 
 
 " Under this, to be sure", roared the burly fellow, 
 as he laid his hand upon the one. "That's it, I 
 know." 
 
 " All right, my dear sir, but do not get so excited. 
 Fortune has again favoured you. I must say you 
 are one of her favourites. Do you try it again, or 
 retire to give place to some of the others? It strikes 
 me there are one or two that would like to try their 
 fortunes. What say you ? " 
 
 "That I'll have another trial", said the country- 
 man. 
 
 " Perhaps you'd better be satisfied with what you 
 have and not try her too far. Very well. Do you 
 stake half-a-crown or double it ? " 
 
 " I'll double it." 
 
 " Very well, sir. Have your own way. Fortune, 
 you know, is a fickle goddess, and does not always 
 follow us. And it would hardly be fair for the rest 
 of the world if she did, for we, poor mortals, would 
 be left entirely in the lurch. Now, sir, under which 
 do you find the pea ? " 
 
 " This", said he, as he lifted up the thimble, when, 
 behold! nothing was there. He stood in blank 
 astonishment for a few seconds, during which the 
 thimble-rigger drew the money into his hand, 
 deposited it in his pocket, and rearranged the board. 
 Then, with a rough oath, he threw down the cup and
 
 202 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 retired to some distance. A general laugh was all 
 that was accorded the poor fellow as he retired. 
 
 " Thus, as I said", continued the thimble-rigger, 
 " Fortune does not always favour a person, but out of 
 the three chances he gained two. Very good for you, 
 sir. If everyone gained two out of every three 
 chances there would be a very happy world indeed. 
 But here goes again. Any other gentleman favour 
 us with a trial ? Ah, you, my young man, will you try 
 your luck, or do you think it so easy that it is not 
 worth a trial? Ah, very well, just please yourself. 
 No one is forced here. No one is compelled against 
 his will. What do you say, my elderly friend ? A trial 
 of a shilling or of half-a-crown? " 
 
 I try none of those things. It's a tempting of 
 Providence, sir ", said the elderly and grave-looking 
 gentleman addressed, 
 
 "Tempting of Providence! O, dear me, sir! 
 It is only a trial of your own skill, and anyone 
 can do that without tempting Providence. Have a 
 trial?" 
 
 No, thank you. I know something better to do 
 with my money than that. I'd rather give it to the 
 first honest poor man I see." 
 
 " You'll find it a v^ery difficult matter to discover 
 him, I'm afraid. Very well, sir, have your own way. 
 I don't object to your giving as much as you like to 
 the poor, but don't despise a man for earning an 
 honest livelihood." 
 
 "And do you call that an honest livelihood?" said 
 the old man, with a sneer, as he left the crowd and 
 retired to a little distance. 
 
 " Very well, sir. People will differ in opinion all 
 the world over. But there is no use in quarrelling, 
 so let us proceed to work. Do you try your luck, my 
 red-gowned gentleman ? " said he, addressing one of
 
 "COME ONE, COME ALL" 203 
 
 our number. " A sixpence or a shilling ; I care not 
 which. I shall be willing to accommodate you." 
 
 The young man, feeling nervously in his pockets, 
 at last turned out a sixpence, and laid it hesitatingly 
 upon the table. In a second or two the whole thing 
 was over, and he found himself the possessor of a 
 shilling. He looked at it for a moment in surprise, 
 put it carefully in his pocket, and retired amid the 
 laughter of the whole of his companions and the 
 crowd. 
 
 "And will no other one try his luck?" said the 
 thimble-rigger, without showing any chagrin at the 
 late affair. " Come one, come all ; I'm ready to bet 
 any amount that you cannot tell me under which of 
 these the pea is. Who takes me up? You — you — or 
 you? Ah, you, my man. I bet a shilling. Do you 
 do the same? Well, then, here goes, and you have 
 lost. Such is life. So again we turn them and let 
 the rest of the company have a chance. Who says 
 now? Eh! Who says now?" 
 
 In this manner the fellow had gone on for some 
 time, managing to draw a good many shillings from the 
 various persons who had been so foolish as to try 
 their luck. I was so fascinated by his acting that I 
 paid little attention to anybody else, until I was 
 attracted by the behaviour of Lockhart, ^neas 
 Macpherson, and Fender. They seemed, particularly 
 the second, to be in a rage about something, and to 
 be talking very earnestly and energetically about it. 
 My cousin stepped forward, and, after having heard a 
 few words, became as lively as the others, so that my 
 curiosity was excited and I went forward to learn the 
 cause. I was rewarded by the remark, " These are 
 thimble-riggers ". 
 
 " So I am able to see for myself." 
 
 " Yes, but these are part of the gang that has
 
 204 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 been infesting the town for some time, and who have 
 fleeced not a few, as you will have seen by the 
 newspapers." 
 
 " So I suppose." 
 
 " And, what is more, Macpherson was fleeced only 
 last week of 15s., and he is determined now to have 
 it out of them." 
 
 How can he do that ? " 
 
 " We shall hear from him by and by. There he 
 comes." 
 
 " Well," said Macpherson, " what do you say to 
 give these fellows a good thrashing ? Are you game 
 to go in ?" 
 
 "Anything in that line with pleasure," said 
 Lockhart. " Are you sure of the parties ? " 
 
 " Quite. That countryman who looks so glum, 
 and who lost his five shillings so reluctantly, but who 
 has gone forward again to endeavour to repair his 
 loss, is one of the gang, as I know well, for it was he 
 that egged me on last week and laughed at me when 
 it was over. And that old grey-headed sinner that 
 looks like an elder of a church, or as if butter would not 
 melt in his cheek, is another who does the respectable 
 dodge, and watches for the bobbies. He does more to 
 lure poor fellows on to destruction than all the others 
 put together. Do you see that smart-looking chap 
 who seems as if he were a gent, come out for a walk ? 
 That's another, as is the person who is speaking to 
 him. Altogether there are about half a dozen of 
 them. We are rather more than that, and with those 
 whom we will be sure to get out of the crowd, ought 
 to be a match for them. Besides, some of our 
 college chums will be here immediately. Do you 
 vote to go in to thrash them ? " 
 
 " With pleasure. Upon how many can you 
 count?"
 
 EVEN MONEY ON 205 
 
 " All that are here." 
 How will you begin?' 
 
 " I'll go down and stake something on the game. 
 If he recognises me, as he likely will, so much the 
 better: we can easily pick a quarrel. I told him that 
 the next time I saw him I would give him the benefit 
 of my sign-manual, and I intend to fulfil my threat. 
 So keep an eye on me, all of you, and I'll soon give 
 you the signal for the attack." 
 
 So saying, Macpherson went up to the man, who 
 was busy with the countryman. Having lost a pretty 
 round sum, his piteous expressions were most 
 touching, and affected me so much that I could not 
 believe they were feigned. He begged all about him 
 to give him a few shillings that he might be able to 
 recover what he had lost, and so earnestly and well 
 did he plead that I know not what might not have 
 taken place had not Macpherson shoved him uncere- 
 moniously aside and stood before the table. As he 
 did so the man was arranging his board, and in his 
 usual tone of voice shouting out his cry, " Any 
 gentleman try his luck? Ten to one that no one will 
 tell me where the pea is ? " 
 
 "I take it", said Macpherson. 
 
 "You take it", said the man, turning sharply 
 upon him, and looking in his face. " Very well, here 
 goes. Here's the money ; ten shillings against one. 
 Now, my hearty, take your choice." 
 
 " Here ! " said Macpherson, as he laid his hand on 
 one and lifted it up, displaying the pea, and very 
 coolly pocketing the eleven shillings. " Will you bet 
 the same again ? " inquired he in a cool and taunting 
 
 manner. 
 
 The odds are on your side now. I'll bet even 
 money you won't find it." 
 
 " Done !" said Macpherson; "eleven shillings to
 
 206 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 eleven. Here's the money. Table yours", and the 
 crowd came eagerly forward to see the game. 
 
 " Now, here goes. Once, twice, thrice. Under 
 which do you say it is ? " 
 
 " Under the middle one ", said Macpherson, as he 
 laid his huge hand on the whole three to prevent 
 him removing it. " I order you to lift only that one — 
 I know it is there." 
 
 "All right, my man", said the thimble-rigger 
 very coolly. " Did you think I was going to cheat you? 
 There it is, and there is your money ; you are far too 
 excitable for me, and I would prefer a calmer player, 
 so give place to another, please ", from which we at 
 once judged he knew the man. 
 
 " You have cheated me out of five shillings ", 
 roared Macpherson, after counting his money. " Give 
 me the money." 
 
 " You have it all there, my man", replied he, in 
 an easy tone of voice, " if you count it properly. 
 Count again." 
 
 I have not. You have got it. Fork it out, or 
 
 I'll " and his ponderous hand was shaken in his 
 
 face. 
 
 " Ah, here it is, lying beside one of the cups. It 
 is yourself that forgot it." 
 
 " Very like a w hale, you low swindler, you arrant 
 blackguard", and the Highlander's blood being 
 up, he kicked the table and its contents into the 
 air, and planted such a staggering blow on the 
 fellow's breast as sent him flying into the ditch 
 behind him. 
 
 " Take that ", said Macpherson, as he did it, " take 
 that for your blackguard trick to me the other day, 
 and remember what I told you, that I would make 
 you pay for it. And as for you, you hoary-headed 
 old sinner", said he, addressing the old, elder-looking
 
 A REGULAR MELEE 207 
 
 man, " I'll spoil your face for once, and make your 
 black clothes a shade less cleanly ", and before he 
 was aware of his intention he knocked his hat over 
 his eyes and sent him sprawling on the road. In a 
 moment the others were upon him, but we were as 
 suddenly by his side, and in a much shorter time than 
 I have taken to tell it there was a regular melee, a 
 hand-to-hand fight between us and the half-dozen 
 fellows that composed the gang. As they far excelled 
 us in skill, it might have gone hard with us had it not 
 been that we were reinforced by a number of 
 our fellow-students and certain of the crowd. 
 Macpherson, however, was a host in himself, and 
 threw his long arms about like so many sledge 
 hammers, and wherever they descended committed 
 great havoc. After a very stiff combat we managed 
 to drive the thimblers back along the lane, and 
 compelled them to take to their heels. In full cry we 
 followed, and as we could not reach them with our 
 hands we pelted them with stones all the way to the 
 town. The people on the road, finding out who they 
 were, encouraged us with shouts, and even the 
 policemen cried out to throw the stones from the 
 centre of the crowd so that they would not know 
 who did it. After them in hot haste we sped, giving 
 them many a good knock and stopping not until they 
 had got within the shelter of the houses and made 
 good their escape. With many a hearty laugh we 
 returned to college and, finding the class assembled, 
 were greeted as we entered by a hearty cheer from 
 our class-fellows, a dereliction of duty which the 
 professor ignored for the time being in consideration 
 of the good service in which we had been engaged. 
 And it did turn out a public good, for the thimble- 
 riggers were compelled to migrate to other quarters 
 where their faces and figures were less known. As
 
 208 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 for Macpherson, he used often afterwards to chuckle 
 over this adventure, and declare that he not only 
 got all his money back again, but such delightful 
 interest as he had never before obtained.
 
 CHAPTER XVIII 
 
 At nyght were come into that hostelrye 
 Well nyne and twenty in a compaignye. 
 
 —Chaucer: ''Prologue'', 23-4. 
 
 The day on which we had made our sticcessful raid 
 on the thimble-riggers was memorable in the annals 
 of the college, being Bursary day. From time 
 immemorial it had been the practice to pay one half 
 of the btirsaries held by any students on the last 
 Friday in February and the rest at the close of the 
 session, when they had successfully passed their 
 examinations. Should they have been so unfortunate 
 as not to pass, the balance was retained until they 
 had made up their arrears of examinations. By this 
 means a wholesome check was kept upon them, and 
 an impulse given to work, besides the feeling of 
 honour which every right-minded student had. 
 
 It was also a practice, handed down from genera- 
 tion to generation, for the bursars on that evening 
 to entertain their friends at supper, and to supply 
 them with unlimited quantities of punch. The 
 invitations to these were generally given months 
 before the time, so that there could be no refusals, 
 and these parties consisted in general of the choicest 
 friends, who met together with the full determination 
 to make a night of it. The jolly god was rampant, 
 and all grinding was thrown to the dogs. 
 15
 
 210 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Lockhart's invitation had been given me about a 
 month after my appearance at college, so that I could 
 not have refused had I been inclined. However, 
 such a thought never entered my head, though I found 
 it impossible to arrive at the place of meeting — the 
 Cafe Royal — before the hour of ten. When I opened 
 the door, my eyes met a sight which was truly 
 student-like. In a room, down the centre of which 
 ran a large table, sat some twelve or fourteen young 
 men, en wreathed in volumes of smoke, with steaming 
 bowls of punch before them, and talking and laughing 
 to their hearts' content. At the head of the table 
 sat Lockhart, who was doing his best to help on the 
 hilarity of the evening, ably seconded by his friend 
 and croupier, Fender. My cousin and a number of 
 other faces well known to me were grouped around, 
 and from each came a cry of welcome as I showed 
 my head at the door. 
 
 " Gentlemen, silence ! " cried Lockhart, giving a 
 
 smart rap on the table, which caused a slight lull. " I 
 
 see one of the gentlemen who were invited some 
 
 months ago to this small spree of mine has just put 
 
 in an appearance at this advanced stage of the 
 
 evening. Now, I do not wish to be impertinent, nor 
 
 make him blush by stating that he has been in the 
 
 company of ladies, who shall be nameless " — (" Names ! 
 
 Names!") — "but I will take the liberty of informing 
 
 him that there are certain rules observed in such 
 
 companies as ours by every one who comes late. 
 
 One is, that the gentleman thus offending shall, to 
 
 make up for his drinking fair, or that he be not 
 
 behind in the amount, empty every tumbler upon the 
 
 table. Gentlemen, I appeal to you if that is not the 
 
 rule of our body." 
 
 " Yes, yes. Make him empty them all — them all." 
 " So here, Mac ", said Lockhart, " take mine first.
 
 BREWING TODDY 211 
 
 and then walk around the table emptying each one 
 you come to. Remember, no heel-taps are allowed." 
 
 " Thank you, I'd rather be excused. If I were so 
 foolish as to perform the libation you order, I would 
 have myself beneath the table in half an hour, but 
 as I intend to enjoy, and perhaps add somewhat to 
 the hilarity of the evening, I shall content myself, and, 
 I hope, satisfy the company, by emptying the tumbler 
 of our worthy host and his no less worthy croupier. 
 So here's to you, gentlemen. Long health to 
 Lockhart, and many a spree may he live to give us, 
 as well as his right-hand man. Fender." 
 
 " Long health to Lockhart and Fender, and three 
 cheers for Mac ", shouted all, quite pleased that I thus 
 readily made myself equal to them. 
 
 Another "round" was called in, and each one set 
 himself to the task of brewing his own punch. It 
 was amusing to note how each one did so, and how 
 his peculiarities of character became more prominent 
 as he advanced in his cups. Some dashed in the 
 water, sugar, and whisky anyhow and everyhow, 
 stirred it round as if it were some villainous mixture, 
 and ladled it out as if it were something for which 
 they had a great contempt; whilst others carefully 
 poured hot water on the sugar, stirred it round and 
 round till it was sufficiently clear, and then, with a 
 critical eye, added the whisky. These were the 
 country students, who had been taught the art by 
 connoisseurs, and who would have considered it 
 sacrilege to have made it otherwise. In fact, they 
 looked with sovereign contempt and unmitigated 
 disgust on the novices who were so barbarously 
 unacquainted with the method of making the national 
 beverage. In their estimation they were far beneath 
 the dignity of human and rational beings. And thus 
 all made their punch anyhow and everyhow, and, at
 
 212 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 the termination, lifted up the tumblers and tasted 
 their contents. 
 
 Lockhart acted, as I have said, as master of 
 ceremonies, and, being the entertainer, took the 
 liberty of calling out the latent qualities of all the 
 gentlemen present. Knowing them all well, he 
 could, in his own peculiar way, take liberties that 
 but few else would have dared. He would twit one 
 on his fondness for some particular lady, tease 
 another about that cousin of his who was always to 
 be seen with him, and even tried to give Fender a 
 sly rub regarding the Sabine maidens, a rub which 
 Fender returned with interest. All was taken in 
 good part, and the harmony of the evening was 
 uninterrupted. 
 
 At last Lockhart declared that they could not 
 remain any longer without that never-failing source 
 of amusement among students — songs. " So, gentle- 
 men, let us have a song. Let someone do it as soon 
 as possible, and save me the trouble of naming him. I 
 know there are plenty of singers here, and all they re- 
 quire is just to be set a-going. Gentlemen, a song ! " 
 
 There was silence for a short time, and as no one 
 seemed inclined to respond to the call, Lockhart, 
 looking down the table, said, " Friend Fender, I am 
 afraid I will have to call upon you." 
 
 " There's many a one must come before me. 
 Come along. We know genius is always modest, so 
 you need not bother us with it. Greig, Ross, Givan, 
 Forbes, Macpherson, give us a song — a Highland 
 one, if there is nothing else." 
 
 " Yes, Givan, give us your song. Now that I 
 have got a gentleman that I know can sing, I'll stick 
 by him. Gentlemen, silence for Mr. Givan's song." 
 
 Seeing there was no escape, Givan wet his whistle 
 and thus began —
 
 "THE TIGHT LITTLE ISLAND" 213 
 
 Daddy Neptune one day unto Freedom did say, 
 
 " If ever I lived upon dry land, 
 The spot I should hit on would be little Britain ". 
 
 Says Freedom, " Why, that's my own island". 
 
 O, what a snug little island, 
 A right little, tight little island ; 
 All the globe round none can be found 
 So happy as this little island. 
 
 Julius Ca;sar, the Roman, who yielded to no man. 
 Came by water — he could not come by land ; 
 
 And Dane, Pict, and Saxon their home turned their 
 backs on, 
 And all for the sake of our island. 
 
 O, what a snug little island, etc. 
 
 Then a very great war man, called Billy the Norman, 
 
 Cried, " Hang it, I never liked my land ; 
 It would be much more handy to leave this Normandy, 
 
 And live on yon beautiful island ". 
 
 O, what a snug little island, etc. 
 
 Then the Spanish Armada set out to invade her. 
 
 Quite sure, if they ever came nigh land, 
 They could not do less than tuck up Queen Bess, 
 
 And take their full swing in the island. 
 
 O, what a snug little island, etc. 
 
 These proud, puffed-up cakes thought to make ducks 
 and drakes 
 Of our wealth, but they scarcely could spy land 
 Ere our Drake had the luck to make their pride duck. 
 And stoop to the lads of the island. 
 
 O, what a snug little island, etc. 
 
 Then, since Freedom and Neptune have hitherto kept 
 tunc 
 In each saying, "This shall be my land ", 
 Should the Army of England, or all they could bring, 
 land. 
 We'd show them some play for the island. 
 
 O, what a snug little island, etc.
 
 214 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " Hurrah ! hurrah ! Mr, Givan's health and song, 
 gentlemen ", cried Lockhart. " A truly national 
 song, and worthy of being drunk to. So empty your 
 tumblers, gentlemen, and let us refill, for that chorus 
 makes one drj^ Tvvat the bell, Ross; twat the bell, 
 and let us have another." 
 
 The bell having been " twatted ", and the where- 
 withal obtained and prepared, Givan was requested 
 to call upon some other person. 
 
 " I shall do so by calling upon my friend Lock- 
 hart to give us one of his recitations — ' To be, or not 
 to be ', ' My cousin Richard ', ' My name is Nerval ', 
 or anything he likes." 
 
 " I'd rather you had called on some other person, 
 for recitations are not worth anj'^thing. However, 
 not to destroy in any way the hilarity of the evening, 
 I shall give you ' My name is Norval'. So, gentle- 
 men, here goes ", and in a very creditable manner 
 he delivered that speech, which has been recited so 
 often, and which has yet so many attractions for all. 
 When done, we cheered him lustily, and tried to 
 encore, but it was of no use. 
 
 " No, no, gentlemen ; I'll be hanged if I recite any 
 more to-night. There are lots of gentlemen here 
 who are far better able to do this than me, and I 
 intend to make use of their services. So here goes. 
 As I have the right to call, I will request my medical 
 friend here to give us his ' Examination Song ', and 
 we will help him out with it. So here goes for the 
 song of our son of the marrow-bones " — 
 
 SPRING EXAMINATION SONG. 
 
 You ask mc, lads, to fill my glass, 
 
 You call on mc to sing, 
 You know I cannot, lads, alas ! 
 
 I'm going up in "spring".
 
 SPRING EXAMINATION SONG 215 
 
 My airs, so "volatile" before, 
 
 Are of the "fixed" sort. 
 My wit, that roused the merry roar, 
 
 Confined to a "retort". 
 
 I cannot dance, my only " steps " 
 
 Are up the stairs to class ; 
 I cannot laugh, save with a dose 
 
 Of " nitrous oxide gas " ; 
 Nor spin an after-dinner yarn, 
 
 Nor make the chorus ring ; 
 I pass the bottle and the glass 
 
 That I may "pass" in "spring". 
 
 You tell me of some pretty girls 
 
 You'd introduce me to — 
 Some with their teeth like rows of pearls. 
 
 And some with eyes of blue ; 
 In vain you say " their hearts are warm ", 
 
 Their warmth I don't suspect. 
 But I can't come — I have " a heart ", 
 
 A cold one, to dissect. 
 
 If e'er I hear a tale of woe 
 
 For human sympathy, 
 The "sympathetic nerve" alone 
 
 Suggests itself to me. 
 In spring I'm going up — glad spring 
 
 No joy will bring to me ; 
 No verdure then shall I behold 
 
 In flower or forest tree. 
 
 In place of gathering lovely flowers 
 
 From nature's glorious glens, 
 Cramming I then must sit for hours 
 
 At those dried specimens. 
 So come I cannot, e'en although 
 
 Full well I be inclined. 
 For time flies fast, and I, you know. 
 
 Must never cease to grind. 
 
 " Well done, old marrow-bones ! Your very best 
 health from my ' sympathetic nerve '."
 
 216 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " He touched my 'sympathetic nerve' at any rate 
 when he spoke of these examinations", said one poor 
 fellow, pulling a wry face, as he thought of the fast 
 approaching close of the session. " O, hang these 
 examinations ! I wish to goodness we had none of 
 them." 
 
 " My dear fellow, you would not have half the 
 joys of life if you had not these examinations. They 
 are the things that sweeten our existence." 
 
 " Sweeten ! Hang them, they sour it." 
 
 " Not at all. They form a contrast to our present 
 jollity it is true, but we could not have this without 
 them." 
 
 " What a grand thing it would be were there no 
 examinations ! " cried one. 
 
 " A perfect heaven upon earth ", exclaimed 
 Fender, with a sigh, 
 
 "No nonsense, old boy", said Lockhart. "I 
 thought you had turned over a new leaf." 
 
 " So I have. But am I not allowed to hope or 
 even think of the days of Elysian bliss which might 
 be ours were it not for those beastly examina- 
 tions?" 
 
 "Yes; think as much as you please, but do not 
 express your thoughts. It's bad policy before these 
 young ones." 
 
 " True, I had forgotten that. The morals of the 
 company must be attended to. Pray, whose turn 
 is it?" 
 
 " I can't say, but if I had the call, I should fix 
 upon yourself. Come, give us your song." 
 
 " Nay, nay ; not mine. Let Anderson give us that 
 Latin song I heard him at the other day — ' In Scotiae 
 laudem '. Hey, Anderson, your Latin song — Alick 
 Anderson's song." 
 
 Thus called on, Anderson gave his song —
 
 "IN SCOTIAE LAUDEM" 217 
 
 Quae terra in orhe, O Scotia cara, 
 
 Sc pulchritudine tibi componat? 
 Quae terra in orbe, O solum natale, 
 
 Tam multa diversa incolis donat? 
 
 Montesquc vallesque et insulae pulchrae 
 Pectus adornant et silvae umbrosae; 
 
 Gemmae sunt illae quae omnes delectant, 
 Semper fulgentes et valde formosae. 
 
 Ah omnibus liberis montes dilecti 
 
 Erica vestiti caelum petentes ; 
 Est durus venatus, durusque agrestis 
 
 Valles qui incolit interjacentes. 
 
 Sereni sunt insulis lacus ornati ; 
 
 Pinusque cingentes coUes amoenae ; 
 Valles reductae, fontesque percnnes ; 
 
 Et amnium ripae floribus plenae. 
 
 Quocunquc terrarum argentum quaerentes 
 
 Fortes vagentur natique robusti, 
 Laborem post longum penatcs movebunt 
 
 Et repetent domum auro onusti. 
 
 Laetissimi terram revisunt natalcm 
 
 Ardenter diicctam, causa videndi 
 Cognatos, amicos cjui superfuerunt, 
 
 Patrumque ad ossa sua ponendi. 
 
 O Scotia cara, quae terra in orbe 
 
 Se pulchritudine tibi componat? 
 Terrarum non ulla, O solum natale, 
 
 Tam multa diversa incolis donat. 
 
 " Ha ! that's the style ! There is some pith in 
 that. Your health, old boy. I think you deserve to 
 be a native of Scotia cara^ an inhabitant of her 
 montesque vallesque; and when you are an old man we 
 will allow you the liberty 055a tua ponendi in her 
 warm bosom. Anderson's health and song, gentle- 
 men, and may he ever sing ' In Scotiae laudem '." 
 
 " It is a grand country, after all ", said Fender.
 
 218 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " But why ' after all ' ? " 
 
 " None of your nonsense. I say it is a grand 
 country after all, and worthy of praise." 
 
 " Come now, none of your rhapsodies ; none of 
 your grand periods, such as you gave us the other 
 night. If you begin with that you will send us all 
 beyond ourselves. Remember, I will not be re- 
 sponsible for the consequences. Come, my boy, 
 give us ' Lochiel and the Wizard '." 
 
 " But who's going to be the ' Wizard ' ? " 
 
 " I will ", said another. 
 
 "All right. Come on, Macduff! Draw, and 
 defend thy life ! My foot is on my native heath, and 
 my name is Macgregor." 
 
 " Come. That's not ' Lochiel '." 
 
 " No ; but it will do for an introduction instead of 
 some of your hackneyed remarks. But here goes ", 
 and they went through the piece in more than a 
 creditable manner, and justly earned the plaudits of 
 the company. 
 
 " That's better than your usual, Fender. You'll 
 do for a parson yet, I think, provided you give them 
 something like that. It is not every day they hear 
 it, and it would take." 
 
 " It must be allowed", said Fender, "that there 
 is preci(nis little attention paid to the elocution of 
 our parsons. Each one flounders through in the best 
 way he can, and if he does excel another it is because 
 there is some genius in him, or because he allows 
 Nature to take her course, instead of modelling 
 himself upon some of those great guns with whom 
 he has not one thought or feeling in common. It is 
 a downright shame that it should be so." 
 
 "Well, then, let us commence a change for the 
 better when we enter the Church, and show them 
 what can be done for elocution."
 
 MINISTERIAL ELOCUTION 219 
 
 " My dear sir, it is a subject that deserves some- 
 thing more serious than fun." 
 
 " I really am in earnest." 
 
 " I must say you do not look like it." 
 
 " Perhaps so, but nevertheless it's true. But 
 what are we going to get now ? Another song ? 
 Mac, come, give us another. You have not done 
 anything to add to the evening's enjoyment, spite of 
 your boast at the beginning. Twat the bell again, 
 Ross, and let us refill." 
 
 As soon as this was done Lockhart cried out, 
 " Now for Mac's song, and give us one with a 
 chorus." 
 
 " Well, then, I shall give you a Latin one, since 
 you seemed so fond of the last. Here goes " — 
 
 UBI JUVENIS FUI. 
 
 Ubi juvcnis fui, O tunc, O tunc, O tunc, 
 
 Ubi juvcnis fui, O tunc, 
 Equitarc habui, gladiumque latcri. 
 
 Tam mihi terra ivit laete tunc, O tunc, 
 
 Tam mihi terra ivit laete tunc. 
 
 Mulierem duxi, O tunc, O tunc, O tunc, 
 
 Mulierem duxi, O tunc, 
 Mulierem duxi atque dixi me mori, 
 
 Tam mihi terra ivit laete tunc, O tunc, 
 
 Tam mihi terra ivit lactc tunc. 
 
 Mortua mulierc, O tunc, O tunc, O tunc, 
 
 Mortua muliere, O tunc, 
 Mortua muliere ego coepi conflere, 
 
 Tam mihi terra ivit laete tunc, O tunc, 
 
 Tam mihi terra ivit laete tunc. 
 
 Arcam emere ivi, O tunc, O tunc, O tunc, 
 
 Arcam emere ivi, O tunc, 
 Arcam emere ivi, vix ridere potui, 
 
 Tam mihi terra ivit laete tunc, O tunc, 
 
 Tam mihi terra ivit laete tunc.
 
 220 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Fidem ivi cnicrc, O tunc, O tunc, O tunc, 
 
 Fidem ivi emere, O tunc, 
 Fidem ivi emere, ad Plutoncm canere, 
 
 Tam mihi terra ivit lactc tunc, O tunc. 
 
 Tarn mihi terra ivit laete tunc. 
 
 "Tunc, tunc, tunc — hurrah!" roared Lockhart, at 
 the top of his voice. " That's the sort of song I hke. 
 Come along ; give us another of the same, Hke the 
 Psahiis of David." 
 
 "That would be hardly fair; but if you are so 
 mad for Latin songs, ask my cousin to give you his 
 'Latin Alphabet', or, as it is properly called, 'Jean 
 Van Decuyper's College Alphabet'. It should suit 
 you all, and may be of some use to you at present." 
 
 "Yes; let us have it", "Let us have it", came 
 from different parts of the room at once, so, 
 nolens volens, my cousin had to give it : 
 
 JEAN VAN DECUYPER'S COLLEGE ALPHABET. 
 
 A— A— A— 
 
 Valete studia — valete studia — 
 Studia relinquimus 
 Patriam rcpetimus. 
 
 A— A— A— 
 
 Valete studia — valete studia — valete studia. 
 
 E— E— E— 
 
 Ite miseriae — itc miscriac — 
 
 Bacchus nunc est dominus, 
 Consolator optimus. 
 
 E— E— E— 
 
 Ite miseriae — ite miseriae — ite miseriae. 
 
 I— I— I— 
 
 Vivant philosophi — vivant philosophi — 
 Studiosi parvuli 
 Etiam sunt bibuH. 
 
 I— I— I— 
 
 Vivant philosophi — vivant philosophi — vivant philosophi.
 
 "TACENDA" 221 
 
 O— O-O— 
 
 Nil est in poculo — nil est in poculo — 
 Repleatur de novo, 
 Nummi sunt in sacculo. 
 
 O-O-O— 
 
 Nil est in poculo— nil est in poculo — nil est in poculo. 
 
 " O, indeed", cried Lockliart, ''Nil est in poculo, 
 my dear fellow. You will not have that to say 
 again, Twat the bell, Ross. I am happy to say, 
 N ummi sunt in meo sacculo, and plenty of it, too, and 
 no man shall say that he has not enough of drink, 
 
 for 
 
 Bacchus nunc est dominus, 
 Consolator optimus, 
 Ite miseriae — ite miseriae— ite miseriae, 
 
 and may they never come back again." 
 
 "My dear fellow, you are getting philosophic", 
 said Fender. " If I can believe my ears, there is 
 wafted towards me the sound of a philosophy 
 resembling that of Epicurus, and diametrically op- 
 posed to the self-denying philosophy of the noble 
 Stoics." 
 
 " You shut up." 
 
 " Thank you, I'll be happy to do it by and by, 
 but not just at present. Who's going to give us 
 something ? " 
 
 " Forbes will give us ' The Auld Toon Clerk '." 
 
 " No ; M'Combie will give us ' The Silver Eel '." 
 
 " No, no ; something else ", cried another. 
 
 " I vote for 'The Auld Toon Clerk' ", said one 
 who was pretty well on. 
 
 "And I vote for 'The Silver Eel' ", said another. 
 " M'Combie, strike up," 
 
 Lockhart, who had been watching the altercation, 
 rose up with a flushed and angry face. " Gentlemen", 
 said he, " no one can enjoy an evening of this kind
 
 222 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 better than I do, but I would prefer the evening's 
 pleasure unmarred by the song that gentleman is 
 going to sing. I can stand a joke as well as anyone, 
 but I do not like obscenity. So I hope you will have 
 some little regard to my scruples and those of the 
 company." 
 
 " Well, if we are not to have ' The Silver Eel', let 
 us have ' The Auld Toon Clerk '." 
 
 " No, nor that either." 
 
 " You're too particular." 
 If you are not satisfied, you can walk. I do not 
 force you to remain. Every one is at liberty to do 
 what he pleases, provided he does not offend the 
 good taste of the majority." 
 
 " You're a humbug ", was the curt reply of the 
 fellow, who, to do him justice, was pretty far gone — 
 " You're a humbug ! " 
 
 " I'm very sorry to hear it, and as my company 
 may not be so acceptable as you would wish, 
 perhaps some of the company may feel inclined to 
 taste the fresh air. Who agrees to a sally out? 
 We can return again if we wish it." 
 
 " I do", " I do", came from various parts of the 
 room, as the young men jumped up, and, bidding 
 " Good-night" to their comrades, were soon on the 
 street, which was gleaming white from the glistening 
 granite and reflecting brilliantly the pale rays of the 
 moon.
 
 CHAPTER XIX 
 
 Now beamed the evening star, 
 And from embattled clouds, emerging slow, 
 Cynthia came riding on her silver car. 
 
 —Beat tie : "Minstrel". 
 
 (M.A., Mar. Coll., 1733.) 
 
 The night was pretty far gone when Lockhart and 
 the rest of us made our exit from the heated room, 
 for then we were not troubled with that omnipotent 
 person, Forbes Mackenzie. Arm in arm we paraded 
 the streets, joking with all we met, and ready for any 
 fun that might turn up, the walk and the cool air 
 helping to drive off the fumes of punch and tobacco. 
 By and by some of our companions dropped off or 
 went home, and so about half a dozen of us were left, 
 who, linked in each other's arms, clattered along the 
 stony pavement. We were often saluted by com- 
 panions and others who were out at that early hour, 
 but besides a stray remark or some joke which would 
 raise an echoing laugh in the half-deserted streets, 
 nothing further was done. The moon shone out 
 with unusual brilliancy, lighting up one side of the 
 street with such a bright glare that it seemed a sheet 
 of silver, looking all the more beautiful on account of 
 the dark contrast that lay alongside of it. Over the 
 granite we trod in Cynthia's pale beams, becoming 
 almost poetical, and making the quiet streets ring 
 with our lucubrations. But amidst a quotation from 
 some of the poets regarding the beauties of the
 
 224 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 herald of the night, spouted by one of our number 
 leaning against a lamp-post and gazing up with 
 maudlin eyes on her silver bow, there would be 
 interpolated by some stray wayfarer a line of 
 "We won't go home till morning", or "A wee 
 drappie o't". 
 
 Of course such a noise was sure to attract some 
 attention, even at that early hour of the morning. 
 The policemen, wise in their generation, either kept 
 out of the way or completely ignored the fact of 
 there being a noise. Some made remarks upon us 
 anything but complimentary, but in the general 
 hilarity these were little attended to. One man, rather 
 demonstrative in his talk, and very much the worse 
 of drink, was told, on a repetition of his offence, to 
 keep a civil tongue in his head, else he would have to 
 take the consequences. As this seemed only to make 
 him more demonstrative and abusive, Lockhart 
 stepped from the middle of the group, knocked off 
 the fellow's hat, and kicked it across the street. A 
 few of us followed his example and went after the 
 discarded beaver, kicking it along the street to the 
 best of our ability. When we had finished this 
 pastime and were making our way to our companions, 
 we noticed a commotion there, and on arriving found 
 Lockhart in the hands of the police, and the fellow 
 whose hat he had knocked off standing near and 
 ordering the policeman to do his duty. Of course 
 we were going to make a rush, but Lockhart stopped 
 us by saying — 
 
 " Comrades, none of that ! I'll go to the office 
 quietly with this policeman and explain matters. See 
 that that fellow comes along with us." 
 
 " Gentleman, sir! I'm a gentleman!" roared the 
 fellow. 
 
 " See that that fellow comes along with us ",
 
 BEFORE THE BEAK 225 
 
 repeated Lockhart, " and, comrades, I'll expect you 
 to give evidence in my favour ". 
 
 " All risht, old boy. We'll make sure of following ", 
 and as we did so the cause of it all took his hat from 
 a policeman who had picked it up, looked at it with a 
 rueful face, and walked with an unsteady gait 
 bareheaded to the station. 
 
 Arrived there we were ushered into a room along 
 which ran a desk or counter, and behind w^iich sat a 
 gentleman whom we afterwards found to be the 
 superintendent of police. Before him lay a book and 
 a slate, which he drew closer to him as we entered. 
 
 " Well, men, who's this you've got now?" 
 
 "A young gentleman whom this person ordered 
 us to bring along." 
 
 "For what offence?" 
 
 " We cannot say, as it was all over before we 
 arrived." 
 
 " For what offence did you order the policemen 
 to bring him here?" inquired he, looking ver}- 
 suspiciously at the fellow, for he bore anything but a 
 reputable appearance. " What did he do ? " 
 
 " He knocked off my hat and kicked it alongcthe 
 street." 
 
 " Why did he do so? Were you provoking him 
 in any way?" 
 
 " No, sir; not in the slightest. Without any 
 provocation he stepped from the crowd of his 
 companions and knocked it off." 
 
 "Ah, indeed! What do you say to this?" in- 
 quired he, turning to Lockhart, 
 
 " I shall say nothing in my defence until I hear 
 the proof." 
 
 " Very well, we shall proceed. What is your 
 name ? " addressing the accuser. 
 
 " John Williamson." 
 16
 
 226 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " Occupation ? " 
 
 " Gentleman," 
 Eh ? " inquired he, looking up. 
 
 " Gentleman, sir! " 
 
 " Oh, ' gentleman ' — very well " — and he drily wrote 
 it down. 
 
 Place of residence ? " 
 
 " 85 Shiprow." 
 
 " Ah, ' gentleman, 85 Shiprow '. Just so. Ah, that 
 will do." 
 
 Now, sir, what is your name ? " inquired he of 
 Lockhart." 
 
 " David Lockhart." 
 
 " Occupation ?" 
 
 " Student." 
 Place of residence?" 
 
 " 25 Silver Street." 
 
 " Just so. And so this person accuses you of 
 having knocked off his hat and kicked it along the 
 street. Would yon, Williamson, now give us the 
 particulars of the case?" 
 
 Thus appealed to, the accuser came forward and 
 gave his evidence. He said that he was going 
 quietly home after having been at a friend's house 
 where he had had just two glasses of whisky. 
 
 " They must have been very large ones, then." 
 No, not very; but extremely little takes upon 
 me." 
 
 "Just so. Go on." 
 
 " Well, as I was saying, I was going home 
 quietly — quietly, remember — I wish that to be put 
 particularly in evidence — I was going home quietly, 
 when I met this fellow and his companions, who 
 insulted me in a most gross manner — a most foul a-nd 
 despicable manner, unworthy of gentlemen, sir — and 
 when I retired, sir, this fellow who now stands before
 
 THE DEFENCE 227 
 
 you, sir, jumped out from among the rest, knocked 
 off my hat with a stick, sir, and kicked it along the 
 street. I was so confused by the suddenness of the 
 attack, and the state of my own feehngs, that I had 
 hardly strength of mind to give him in charge and 
 see him brought here. That is all." 
 
 " Just so. Have you got anything to say in your 
 defence ? " said he, addressing Lockhart. 
 
 "Any of my companions will tell you that almost 
 everything the fellow has said is false." 
 
 " I'm not a ' fellow ' ; I'm a gentleman." 
 
 " I repeat it, sir, everything the fellow has said is 
 a lie." 
 
 I'm a gentleman. I appeal to you, sir; I'm a 
 gentleman." 
 
 " Very well, we'll take your word for it, though I 
 must say there is not much of it about you. What do 
 you say? " said the superintendent, addressing Fender. 
 
 " That what that fellow says is a tissue of lies." 
 
 " I'm a gentleman. I insist: I'm a gentleman ", 
 repeated he, with tipsy reiteration. 
 
 "And I'll prove it too, if you will kindly listen to 
 me for a moment ", continued Fender. 
 
 " Go on, then, sir." 
 
 " Well, we were walking the street arm in arm, 
 chatting and sometimes singing snatches of a song, 
 jolly ourselves, and not purposely annoying anyone. 
 We had gone along one of the streets when this 
 fellow " 
 
 "Gentleman, sir; gentleman. I insist: I'm a 
 gentleman." 
 
 " I would feel obliged by your keeping quiet during 
 the time this gentleman is giving evidence", said 
 the superintendent. 
 
 " This fellow insulted us ", said Fender, " by 
 calling out a name which I shall not repeat."
 
 228 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " Repeat it, repeat it ! " roared he as loud as he 
 could. 
 
 If you do not be quiet I'll soon make you", said 
 the superintendent in an angry tone. 
 
 "We paid no attention to him, as we considered 
 it only the effusion of a brain overburdened with 
 strong drink." 
 
 It's a lie, sir; it's a lie." 
 
 Did you hear what I said?" cried the super- 
 intendent, waxing quite wroth, and effectually 
 stopping him. 
 
 " We went on our way", continued Fender, "not 
 in any way damped by this fellow's insolence, and 
 had proceeded some distance up the street, when, 
 bj^ one of those short cuts best known to himself, he 
 again made his appearance and insulted us in the 
 same manner. Still our good nature overcame our 
 dislike to him, but when he a third time insulted us 
 in a scandalous manner, one of our number — it may 
 have been Lockhart, it may have been myself —   
 knocked off his hat, and kicked it along the street. 
 This fellow then gave Lockhart into custody, and 
 you know the rest." 
 
 " This alters the case very much indeed." 
 It's a parcel of lies, sir; a parcel of lies from 
 beginning to end", said the fellow. 
 
 " That has yet to be proved, and if you cannot 
 bring forward any counter-evidence stronger than 
 your own word, I frankly tell you I shall not believe 
 you." 
 
 " I'm a gentleman, sir; I'm a gentleman." 
 
 " You may be so, but I am not inclined to put very 
 much faith in it. Have you any witnesses to bring 
 forward ? " 
 
 " Witnesses ! No ! You have my word — the 
 word of a gentleman."
 
 UNSUPPORTED TESTIMONY 229 
 
 " But we shall require more than that. I cannot 
 condemn this gentleman, however willing I may be to 
 do so, on the single testimony of a prejudiced witness, 
 more especially considering the state you are in." 
 I'm a gentleman, and as sober as a judge." 
 
 " All drunk men say so." 
 
 " All drunk men ! What do you mean, sir ? " said 
 he, in an insolent tone. 
 
 " That you are drunk ", said the superintendent. 
 " But let us not waste time. You cannot, it seems, 
 bring forward any more proof. Can yoic tell us 
 anything?" said he, addressing Adams. 
 
 I can corroborate the statement of my friend, 
 Mr. Fender, in every particular except the last. I 
 do not know who knocked off this fellow's hat." 
 
 " Gentleman, sir; gentleman !" 
 
 " Well, this gentlemanly-looking fellow's hat ", 
 repeated he, amid roars of laughter, in which the 
 superintendent joined. " As far as I could see, he did 
 it himself." 
 
 "It's a lie; it's a he." 
 
 " Well, prove it to be so ", said Adams coolly. " I 
 repeat that he knocked off his hat himself, gave it a 
 kick across the street, and that we for companion- 
 ship's sake, and because we could not resist the 
 temptation, did likewise. These are the facts as far 
 as I could make them out, but on occasions like these 
 you are very apt to make mistakes." 
 
 "And what do you say about it?" said the 
 superintendent, addressing my cousin and me. 
 
 " That the testimony of both our friends is in the 
 main correct. There may be some slight difference 
 in their evidence, but it does not materially affect the 
 matter." 
 
 "And what do you say for yourself?" said he to 
 Lockhart.
 
 230 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " That that fellow told a tissue of falsehoods." 
 I'm a gentleman, sir; I'm a gentleman ", said he, 
 in a maudlin tone, as he raised his head from the 
 counter on which it had fallen. 
 
 " And let me, for the sake of my defence, 
 recapitulate a little : I am a student, as you know, 
 and what is more, a student of the old college. You 
 have, I have no doubt, heard of the fight we had 
 to-day with the thimble-riggers?" 
 
 I did, and thank you very much for it, though 
 perhaps I ought not to do it." 
 
 " Well, then, I was one of the parties who treated 
 them to a good thrashing, and will do it again if they 
 dare to show their faces here. Well, sir, this was 
 our Bursary day, and I, a bursar, according to old 
 use and wont, was treating a few of my friends to a 
 supper in the Cafe Royal. We had spent a pleasant 
 evening, and were having a walk before going home 
 when this fellow insulted us three times." 
 
 I'm a gentleman ; I'm a " and the rest 
 
 became inaudible. 
 
 " This fellow — this thimble-rigger — I repeat it, 
 sir; this thimble-rigger — insulted us three times. 
 The first time I passed him with contempt, the second 
 time I treated the remark with scorn, but the third 
 time I was so carried away by my zeal for the public 
 cause that I took up my stick and knocked off his 
 hat. Not content with that I kicked the thimble- 
 rigger's hat along the street, as also did my 
 companions ; and, should the same happen again, I 
 have no doubt we should go and do likewise." 
 
 The superintendent laughed heartily at this sum- 
 mary method of taking the law into one's own hand, 
 and said, " I now see that this person has been the 
 aggressor. You, Mr. Lockhart, and your friends can 
 go, but this person, or 'gentleman', having been
 
 IN ST. NICHOLAS STREET 231 
 
 drunk and disorderly, and being at present incapable, 
 must remain here all night. Good morning, gentle- 
 men ; good morning ! " 
 
 We hastily made our exit, laughing heartily at this 
 comical denouement to our night's adventure. As 
 we did so, we heard the poor fellow, who had really 
 become very tipsy, either from the heat of the room 
 or the excitement into which he had been thrown, 
 shouting out, " I'm a gentleman ! I'm a gentleman ! 
 I'm not drunk! I'm not drunk ! I'll make you pay 
 
 for this ! I'll " and suddenly the sound ceased as 
 
 the loud bang of a door announced the shutting up 
 of the gentleman for the night. 
 
 When we had somewhat relieved our pent-up 
 feelings by hearty guffaws, we made our way home. 
 At the foot of St. Nicholas Street I was to bid 
 my companions " Good morning ". 
 
 " And now ", said I, " I expect the whole of you 
 to supper at my house this (Saturday) evening. I 
 intend giving my Bursary supper, and I'll wager 
 you'll enjoy it." 
 
 " What sort is it to be ? " 
 
 " I will not tell you till you come. It is, as far as 
 I know, original, and you will find none there but 
 friends." 
 
 " Who are they? " 
 
 " I will not say, but come and see. Will seven 
 o'clock be too early ? " 
 
 " O dear no ! All right ; we will be with you at 
 that hour, if not during the day ; and I say, Mac ", 
 said Lockhart, " if you are along this forenoon, will 
 you twat the bell for me." 
 
 "All right, old boy, I'll not forget, for you know 
 ' I'm a gentleman '." 
 
 Ha ! ha ! Yes ; ' I'm a gentleman ! I'm a 
 gentleman ! ' "
 
 CHAPTER XX 
 
 My lodging is on the cold, cold ground, 
 And very hard is my fare. 
 
 —D'Aveiiant : " The Rivals". (1664) 
 
 I WAS getting out of bed next morning about ten or 
 eleven o'clock — for students invariably lie late on a 
 Saturday, even when there has been no Bursary 
 night previously — when a knock came to my bed- 
 room door, and Fender entered. He looked very 
 dirty, unwashed, and seedy ; indeed, presented quite 
 a contrast to his usually neat appearance. Sur- 
 prised, I said, " Hullo, my boy! What's the matter 
 with you? You look quite seedy." 
 
 " Seedy ! I should rather think so." 
 
 " And dirty too." 
 
 " So would you if you had spent the night where 
 I have." 
 
 " Spent it where you have!" echoed I, in surprise. 
 
 " Yes ; where I have." 
 
 " Have you not been home?" 
 
 " No, not quite, thanks to that mad fellow 
 Lockhart." 
 
 " Oho ! And where did you spend it, then ? " 
 
 " In the police office, to be sure." 
 
 " The police office. Whee — ee — w ! " 
 
 "Yes, the police office — whee — ee — w! It's per- 
 haps mighty pleasant to you to hear it, but, mind 
 you, it is not to me to tell it. Have you nothing
 
 FENDER'S ABLUTIONS 233 
 
 spirituous to give a poor fellow, to take the sharp 
 edge off him ? I feel quite pendulous." 
 
 " Most certainly ! I beg your pardon for being 
 so forgetful. Here is some whisky. Help yourself; 
 and if you feel inclined to have a good wash after- 
 wards, here are the materials." 
 
 "All right, and many thanks. After I have 
 recruited my inner man, and removed this shock to 
 my nervous system, I shall apply myself to my 
 ablutions, for, faugh ! I hope I will never spend 
 another night where I spent the last." 
 
 " But how was it?" 
 
 " My dear fellow, let me recover myself a little, 
 and then I will tell you all. It was entirely owing to 
 that beggar Lockhart." 
 
 " He seems to be at the bottom of everything." 
 
 " He was at the bottom of this, anyhow." 
 
 " I'll restrain my curiosity until you have made 
 yourself presentable. Meantime I'll see that break- 
 fast is being made ready, for I suppose you have 
 had none." 
 
 " Not a scrap, and I am fearfully hungry. 
 Nothing like a night in the lock-up for giving you 
 an appetite." 
 
 " I suppose so. Were you alone ? Was not 
 Lockhart with you ? " 
 
 " Not quite. He was too wideawake for that. 
 But I'll pay him back yet. I never thought I would 
 be such a fool ", and he began spluttering in the 
 water, and throwing it about him like a wild duck at 
 play. Over and over his head and neck he poured 
 spongeful after spongeful, till the water flowed in 
 streams from every particular pendicle of hair which 
 hung from his head. And then,. during a slight lull, 
 he would cry out, " O, but that is jolly! There is 
 nothing like a good sousing with cold water the
 
 234 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 morning after a spree. It eases the temples, relieves 
 the brain, and cools the general system. O, but it's 
 jolly! especially after being cooped up in such a 
 dirty, abominable hole as I was in last night " ; and 
 he rubbed away at his head till his hair stood up 
 like that of an American Indian. 
 
 "And now, my dear fellow", said he, after he 
 had brought himself into his normal state and com- 
 menced breakfast, " I'll treat you to a recital of last 
 night's adventures. They are rather unique, and 
 say little for my diplomacy." 
 
 " The adventures after I left you, I suppose." 
 "Just so. We bade you 'Good morning', and 
 went on our way rejoicing till that madcap Lockhart 
 insisted that we should again pay a visit to the Cafe 
 Royal. I refused point-blank, but was won over by 
 the others, who sided with Lockhart. So to the 
 Cafe Royal we went, and had sundry tumblers of 
 toddy, which did not improve our state, you may 
 well imagine. After discussing these and taking our 
 departure, as ill-luck would have it Lockhart's eye 
 was caught by a knocker. Now, you know that, at a 
 certain stage, the sight of this article of domestic 
 architecture puts him crazy, and he will have it 
 whatever be the consequences. So, in his melo- 
 dramatic manner, he went up and began to apostro- 
 phize it in the words of good Will Shakespeare — 
 
 Is that a knocker that I see before me ? 
 The handle towards my hand. 
 Let me but clutch it ; 
 
 and, suiting the action to the word, he wrenched it 
 off by main force, tossed it up in the air, and gave 
 one of those wild war-whoops which made our ears 
 crack again. You may be sure we scampered off as 
 quickly as possible, for the bobbies were sure to be
 
 AT THE WALLACE NOOK 235 
 
 on us. I thought we should get quietly home, but 
 this was a vain delusion with Lockhart in this mood. 
 He enumerated about half-a-dozen knockers he was 
 determined to ' pin ', and no persuasion would move 
 him from his purpose." 
 
 " But you could have refused to follow, and left 
 them ", said I. 
 
 "True; but that, you see, is not in my line. I 
 cannot refuse anything that promises fun, even 
 though it be a little dangerous." 
 
 " Then you have yourself to blame." 
 
 " All right, my dear fellow ; we will take the 
 ' moreal ' afterwards. Suffice it to say we went, and 
 managed, with difficulty, to secure two or three of 
 the articles prized so highly by our friend. As our 
 success increased so did our recklessness, and we 
 were repeatedly warned by the police to mind what 
 we were about. At last we arrived at Wallace 
 Nook, and were about to make our way home, when 
 Lockhart declared that he would not go until he had 
 secured a brass knocker which was at the top of the 
 stairs of one of the buildings near which we were 
 standing. As we were afraid of being discovered 
 while performing this delicate operation, scouts were 
 placed along the street and at the door to give 
 warning of the approach of danger, while Lockhart 
 and I went quietly upstairs to obtain the prize. At 
 last we reached the top landing and saw the object 
 of our desire — a huge, ponderous brass knocker, 
 that would take some trouble to remove. Lockhart 
 put in his stick and gave it a twist, which made no 
 visible impression. Pushing it through, I took hold 
 of the other end, and we both exerted our utmost 
 strength, but all in vain. Lockhart became quite 
 excited, and raved so loudly that I was afraid he 
 would arouse the inmates. We tried it this way
 
 236 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 and that, up and down, and just when we were 
 about to give it up as a bad job, it gave a crack 
 which made the whole staircase resound. We stood 
 in breathless silence to listen if any of the inmates 
 had been aroused, and, when no motion was heard, 
 the knocker was gradually moved from its place and 
 deposited carefully in Lockhart's hand. As we did 
 so, a low whistle — the signal of danger — was heard. 
 At once we made our way downstairs, but as the exit 
 of both might create suspicion, it was agreed that 
 Lockhart — along with the trophy — should go first, 
 and that I should follow afterwards, as if I were one 
 of the people going out to morning work. Lockhart 
 passed on, and I, after waiting a very short time, 
 followed him, giving one of the doors a bang as if I 
 had just shut it. The measured tread of a police- 
 man was heard, and when I reached the bottom I 
 was greeted by his bull's-eye and the inquiry, 'What 
 are you doing here?' 
 
 Going to my work.' 
 
 Going to your work ! No gammon here.' 
 
 Gammon ! What do you mean ? I would 
 thank you to be a little more civil.' 
 
 You need not try to come over me in that 
 style. I know you well. I have seen you two or 
 three times to-night, and this story will not do.' 
 " ' I tell you I'm going to my work.' 
 
 What work ? ' 
 " 'What's your business, I should like to know?' 
 
 What work, now ? No, no ; that won't do. 
 You must just come along wath me, and you had 
 better do it quietly too. There is no mistake. I 
 know you well, and know you have been up to no 
 good. So come along.' 
 
 So, much against my will, I was compelled to 
 go along with this stern limb of the law. He was a
 
 A NIGHT IN JAIL 237 
 
 raw, country fellow, one who wanted to make 
 himself officious, and who did not understand the 
 force of a tip or a delicate hint like most of the old 
 policemen. I was ushered into the office, from which 
 our friend the superintendent had unfortunately 
 departed, and without any ceremony thrust into a 
 cell, where I had the pleasure of spending the night 
 on the hard boards. I cannot say that my sleep was 
 light or mj' dreams pleasant, for I was very tired, and 
 never awoke until they came to let me out. Among 
 the drunk and incapables, and along with our 
 ' gentleman ' of the previous night, I was marshalled 
 out, with a caution never to appear there again ; and 
 I do mean to say that I intend to do my best to act 
 .up to the counsel. Had it not been for the cowardly 
 desertion of my friends, I should not have had the 
 opportunity of receiving this good advice." 
 
 But what became of Lockhart and the rest?" 
 I cannot say. Got well home to their beds, I 
 suppose, and left me to chew the cud of prison 
 thoughts." 
 
 I don't think they would willingly have left you 
 thus in the lurch. I am afraid they must have got 
 into a scrape also." 
 
 " No fear of that." 
 I'm rather afraid of it, however." 
 
 " Very well ; time will show. At any rate, 
 I'll have nothing more to do with Lockhart and his 
 knock'ers." 
 
 " Make no rash promises. Here's some of them, 
 I'll wager", said I, as I heard a noise on the stairs, 
 and presently a knocking at the door. Opening it, 
 in rushed the very persons we were speaking of. 
 
 Hullo, old boy! " cried they to Fender, " where 
 have you turned up from? We have been searching 
 the whole town for you, and had at last come to the
 
 238 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 determination to send out a bill, headed ' Lost or 
 Strayed'." 
 
 " Thank you ; I'm much obliged to you for your 
 kindness and consideration. Had you been as at- 
 tentive last night you perhaps would not have had 
 so much trouble to-day." 
 
 " Don't blame us unheard, my boy. I must 
 confess appearances are against us, but let me give 
 you particulars. We did our best for you, and we 
 could not do more." 
 
 " And, pray, what was that ? " 
 
 " Listen and believe ! When I got to the foot of 
 the stairs, I found a policeman making for the 
 entrance. Quietly depositing the knocker in the 
 gutter, I took to my heels, followed by a limb of 
 the law, who stuck most pertinaciously to me. By 
 the sound I knew the rest of my companions were in 
 the same enviable state of being hunted, and that if 
 we did not manage to give the bobbies the slip soon 
 we should have no chance of rescuing you. It was 
 some time before I managed to do so, and having 
 disguised myself as well as I could, I returned in the 
 direction of Wallace Nook, and found Adams 
 standing in the shadow of one of the courts. We 
 had not waited long when the others came up, and 
 a consultation was held as to our future course. 
 Certain you were in limbo, we determined to use 
 every means in our power to get you out, but when 
 we went to the lock-up and stated our purpose, 
 the policeman on duty told us that if we did not 
 make off at once he would take the whole of us in 
 charge. No entreaty of any kind, no production of 
 the current coin of the realm, would move his stony 
 heart, and so, very reluctantly, we were compelled 
 to make our way home without you. Before doing 
 so, however, I requested my friends to walk round by
 
 IN THE NETHERKIRKGATE 239 
 
 Wallace Nook, and there, safely lying in the gutter, 
 bright and clear as when it hung upon the door, was 
 the knocker for which we had risked so much. I 
 lifted it carefully up, and now I am happy to say it 
 stands among the other trophies of war on my 
 sideboard." 
 
 I wish to goodness it had been somewhere else, 
 and that you had had my night of it." 
 
 " That is a very unchristian wish, my dear fellow, 
 and totally unlike you." 
 
 " You would say the same had you been in my 
 place." 
 
 Perhaps so ; there is no saying what might 
 happen. But remember, I have never heard parti- 
 culars and shall be happy to do so." 
 
 After Fender had recapitulated the whole, 
 Lockhart said, " Well, I am sorry for you, but the 
 best plan is to try and forget it. It is, I can assure 
 you, no fault of ours. Could we have assisted you 
 in any way we should not have gone quietly home." 
 
 " Quietly home ! That is good ", said Adams. 
 " Why, that fellow very nearly got us into another 
 scrape." 
 
 "What was that?" inquired Fender, forgetting 
 for the moment his own disaster. 
 
 "As we were going home we came upon a lamp- 
 lighter putting out the lamps. He had a ladder over 
 his shoulder, which he used to ascend each alternate 
 lamp-post for the purpose of turning off the gas. 
 By some means, best known to himself, Lockhart 
 cajoled the ladder from the old fellow, and was to be 
 seen running along the street, clapping it against 
 every lamp-post that came in his way, and putting 
 out the light. But this was not all. He had the 
 audacity to place it against the windows of the second 
 storey of some of the houses, and, ascending the
 
 240 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 ladder, lifted up certain of the windows that were not 
 fastened, and treated the inmates to a few words. 
 The lamplighter, who did not relish this way of 
 doing business, and who decidedly objected to the 
 whole of the lamps being put out, ran after 
 him to get back the ladder, which Lockhart most 
 dexterously avoided. They ran this way up and 
 down various streets, to our immense amusement 
 and to the great annoyance of the poor man, 
 who evidently thought he was going to get into 
 a scrape. At last Lockhart, fairly exhausted, gave 
 in, and returned the man his ladder, after he had 
 managed to put out about a score of lamps. I'll 
 never forget the sight he presented as he scudded 
 along the street — the ladder on his shoulder moving 
 up and down, and the old lamplighter running, 
 shouting, and puffing after him. Did you give the 
 old fellow anything ? " 
 
 " As far as my memory serves me, I did, but I 
 will not swear to it, for my recollections are at the best 
 but hazy. I don't think any lamps were broken." 
 
 " O dear no! But it was a wonder your own 
 limbs were not, for you scrambled up the ladder in 
 the most reckless manner possible, and frequently 
 it could not have been very well fixed." 
 
 " I suppose not, but it is wonderful how we escape 
 at such times. I see you have had some eatables. 
 Have you anything in the drinkable line to recruit a 
 poor fellow ? " 
 
 " I don't think you deserve any", said Fender. 
 
 " Be not ungenerous and uncharitable. It is not 
 in your nature to remember an injury long, parti- 
 cularly when you know that it could not be avoided. 
 Let bygones be bygones." 
 
 " I think it is the best way ", said I, as I placed a 
 bottle on the table. " Tap this, and let the generous
 
 SUPPER AT SEVEN 241 
 
 drink heal the breach. We ought to drink your 
 health this morning, Lockhart, for the grand spree 
 you gave us last night." 
 
 " Don't mention it, my boy. Had we only been as 
 sensible as you, we should not have had such an 
 untoward denouement as befell our friend Fender." 
 
 "Well, never mind. Let the beastly thing be 
 forgotten ", said Fender. " Here's to Lockhart." 
 
 " And here's to Mac and his supper. May it be as 
 good as Lockhart's." 
 
 "Hear, hear", came from several at once. 
 "When do you expect us?" 
 
 " About seven." 
 
 " And who did you say were to be there ? " 
 
 " You, and Fender, and Lockhart, and Adams, 
 et cetera — the fact is, you will see when you get 
 there." 
 
 " Is it a secret? " 
 
 " Not at all, but I prefer to let you see for 
 yourself." 
 
 " All right, old boy, we'll be there at the time 
 specified, and no mistake. Good morning ! good 
 morning ! " and, saying so, they tumbled out of the 
 room and rattled down the stairs. 
 
 17
 
 CHAPTER XXI 
 
 From the lone shelling of the misty island 
 Mountains divide us, and the waste of seas ; 
 
 Yet still the blood is strong, the heart is Highland, 
 And we, in dreams, behold the Hebrides. 
 
 — -Blackwood's Magazine, 1829. 
 — Tail's Magazine, 1849. 
 
 All my friends who were bursars had given suppers 
 to their companions and equals, but I had resolved 
 to give one to the poorest students in the college — 
 those who, from their position and their own per- 
 sonal scruples, would not be likely to be asked to 
 any of the feasts given by their class-fellows. There 
 were a great many of these at our college — young 
 men who, having saved a few pounds or gained a 
 small bursary, lived upon the meanest of fare, that 
 they might obtain the learning after which they 
 hungered. We have known some live on salt 
 herrings, potatoes, and oatmeal during the greater 
 part of the session, and consider themselves well 
 repaid for all this toil and starvation if they gained 
 even a respectable place in the class. The records 
 of no college could supply more instances of self- 
 denial and stern perseverance, and none, we fear, 
 more instances of overwork and early deaths — 
 deaths of those whose lives were full of promise. 
 
 It was my determination, therefore, to seek out 
 the poorest and meanest of these, and invite them 
 to my lodgings to have a good feed for once during 
 the session. As I knew it would be useless sending
 
 "POORTITH CAULD" 243 
 
 invitations, I took the opportunity of calling upon 
 them early in the morning and personally requesting 
 the favour of their company. I expected some 
 opposition, but was by no means prepared for such 
 strenuous resistance as I met. Having, however, 
 after very great difficulty, obtained the concurrence 
 of Alister Macalister, I used his name pretty freely 
 with the rest, and thus got six to promise to come 
 without fail. I was particular in informing them 
 that there would only be mutual friends present, and 
 that I would be glad to see them anyhow or every- 
 how. So, rather satisfied with my morning's work, 
 I returned home to make preparations. 
 
 But, O, what wretchedness and misery did I see 
 in that forenoon's peregrinations ! I had often 
 heard of the miserable hovels in which many of our 
 students were lodged, but I had never formed any 
 idea of the wretched reality. Garrets that were not 
 fit for the storage of potatoes, or the homes of rats 
 and mice, were the studies and sleeping-rooms of 
 young men who had made their mark in the class, 
 and, were they spared, would leave it also on the 
 world. Down from the bare tiles of some the water 
 was running, and on cold nights this would be frozen 
 and hang in icicles from the roof. A chair, a stool, 
 and a rickety old table composed almost all the 
 furniture of these rooms, if we except the student's 
 trunk, his few books, and his bed. A small, small 
 fireplace, formed so as to hold the smallest quantity 
 of coals, was fixed into one side of the room, near to 
 which the student had drawn the table, so that his 
 feet, for the sake of warmth, were almost on the 
 bars. We do not wonder, nor did we then think it 
 any exaggeration, that many of these poor fellows, 
 on the cold nights of winter, when the coals were 
 dear and they were barely able to get them, would
 
 244 LIFE AT A NORTHERN   UNIVERSITY 
 
 creep under the blankets of their thinly-clad beds, 
 and, throwing their clothes above them, try to keep 
 themselves warm, and study far through the hours 
 of the morning. It was oftener from a considera- 
 tion of the expense than from their own physical 
 exhaustion that these fellows would lay past their 
 books and take the sleep which tired nature de- 
 manded. And even that they grudged with the 
 niggardliness of a miser, for the precious moments did 
 not seem, but were really, *' winged " to them. That 
 morning I came home a sadder and a wiser man, 
 and more confirmed in my resolution that for once 
 they should be made comfortable and enjoy a really 
 good supper, and that my Bursary Saturday should 
 be a day to be marked by them with a white stone. 
 
 Towards seven o'clock my landlady — who had 
 entered most enthusiastically into my plan and lent 
 me her best room for the "spread" — came and 
 requested me to take a look at the supper table. 
 Knowing that nothing delighted women more than 
 to be deferential to them in such matters, and 
 conscious also that she well deserved it of me, 
 I obej^ed, and was agreeably surprised and delighted 
 to see everything so substantially and tastefully 
 prepared. I walked round the room, admiring and 
 commending everything, and feeling mightily proud 
 of my supper. 
 
 Just as we were about to leave the room a ring 
 of the bell was heard. "There's some o' them, I'se 
 wauger. Come yer wa's oot o' the room, an' slip 
 intae yer ain an' receive them there, for we winna 
 lat them see the gweed things o' this life till they're 
 a' here." And, saying this, she shut the door behind 
 her. 
 
 In a minute my room door was thrown open, and 
 in stalked my cousin and Givan. Congratulations.
 
 ALISTER IN STATE 245 
 
 and such-like things followed, and as they took their 
 seats another ring was heard. 
 
 " That's not Lockhart's ring, I'm sure ", said my 
 cousin. 
 
 " Perhaps not ; it may be some of the rest." 
 
 " Who are they ? " 
 
 "You will see just now, if you will only be 
 patient a minute." 
 
 " Not ladies, I hope." 
 
 " There they come ", and as I spoke in stalked a 
 
 monster Highlander, well known to us all, but so 
 
 transformed by his new habiliments, and so odd and 
 
 comical, that we could with difficulty refrain from 
 
 laughing. It was Alister Macalister, but Alister, not 
 
 as he appeared at college in his homespuns, but as 
 
 he appeared on state occasions, in his very best 
 
 Sunday suit. These had been made for him some 
 
 years before, and as he had grown considerably 
 
 since that period, and they had remained in statu quo, 
 
 they were not exactly a good fit. The trousers 
 
 reached only a little below the knee, and were so 
 
 tight round the waist that they looked as if every 
 
 moment about to burst. The vest was also too 
 
 short, and so tight round his body that he seemed 
 
 in danger of dying from tight-lacing. And then the 
 
 coat, besides being far too short both in the sleeves 
 
 and tails, displayed such a breadth of beam encased 
 
 in what appeared skin-tights, that when he turned 
 
 round to deposit his hat we almost burst into roars 
 
 of laughter. Knowing that this would spoil all, I 
 
 motioned to my companions to restrain themselves, 
 
 and introduced them in that free and easy manner 
 
 common to students. Another and another soon 
 
 followed in much the same costume, and with an 
 
 awkwardness of manner that was very amusing, 
 
 until, Lockhart and Fender arriving last, our number
 
 246 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 was complete. Soon after, my landlady appeared at 
 the door of the room in her best cap and gown, and 
 informed me in a stately manner that supper was 
 ready. Stepping before us, she opened the door and 
 stood aside to let us enter. And as we did so the 
 faces of those genuine sons of the hills were a study 
 in themselves. Astonishment, desire, eagerness, 
 and everj' sort of feeling passed over them in one 
 minute, and, as my landlady afterwards said, " It wis 
 worth a' the trouble I hid hid, to see the faces o' the 
 peer craturs fan they saw the gweed things — an', O, 
 their eatin' ! — it passed a'thing." 
 
 Now, cousin," said I, " will you act as croupier 
 for the evening? Fender, will you take this side and 
 Lockhart the other? I have got a small duty for you 
 here, Adams, and another for you, Givan. And now, 
 gentlemen, will the rest of you take your seats as 
 best you can ; I think you will find chairs for every 
 one of you." 
 
 When all were seated and grace said, I applied 
 myself to the task of carving, and called upon my 
 friends to do their best to follow my example. 
 "Gentleman", continued I, "I have given this spread, 
 and I intend that we shall demolish the whole of it. 
 Let every one set about making the best supper he 
 can, for I can assure you that you will do me the 
 greatest favour to eat without being pressed." 
 
 And they did eat. These poor, famished fellows, 
 to whom meat was a luxury, and who had not tasted 
 a supper like this once in their whole lives, went into 
 it with such a zest that they kept us busily carving 
 and helping them, till Fender declared he would get 
 to his feet the better to see what he was about. He 
 and Lockhart had at once entered into the spirit of 
 the thing, and heaped the plates of the guests till, 
 in their excitement, they sent it spluttering over the
 
 " PRAY YOU, UNDO THIS BUTTON " 247 
 
 table-cloth. And when they found a refractory bone, 
 or a piece upon which the knife w^ould not operate, 
 after Fender's suggestion and example they seized 
 it in their hands and soon reduced it to a clean state. 
 Again and again was this done, we helping ourselves 
 to snatches during the lulls, and watching with 
 intense interest the gratified and beaming looks of all. 
 At first stiff and formal, they began to relax, and ere 
 they had finished the first plate were as talkative and 
 happy as anyone could have wished. And yet little 
 talk was indulged in, for all were too busy, and the 
 most heard was a grunt of satisfaction or delight 
 as something more palatable than usual was put on 
 their plates. Occasionally they would look across 
 the table to some of their companions, and in their 
 native Erse mutter something unintelligible to us, 
 but which was evidently something pleasant, if one 
 was to judge by the merry twinkle of their eyes and 
 the gratified smiles that overspread their faces. 
 
 But even hungry Highlandmen can be satisfied, 
 and they were compelled at last to lean back on their 
 chairs and give up in despair. With longing eyes 
 they looked upon the wreck as it was being removed, 
 and wished they could do more. 
 
 But their astonishment w^as great when they saw 
 the landlady, after all had been cleared away, proceed 
 to lay down the sweets. They had not been prepared 
 for this, and at the sight began to smack their lips 
 and shake themselves, as if by this means they 
 could make room for some more. Macalister, after a 
 preliminary whiff and " ugh ", proceeded very carefully 
 and quietly to unloose the top button of his trousers, 
 and finding great relief from this, he proceeded to do 
 the same to his vest. But the tension on it being 
 greater, or the power of resistance on the part of the 
 buttons less, the first gave way and flew across the
 
 248 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 table, followed by two or three more which were 
 unable to resist the accumulated pressure. Of course 
 this sent us into roars of laughter, but Alister, 
 noways put out, said, " Ugh, but that is nice ! It's 
 jeest the very thing to mak' room for the puddin' ! 
 If I wis you, Hector, I wid loose a button, for I 
 widna want a bit o' that nice thing at the head of the 
 table for a' the buttons in the world," 
 
 Encouraged by Alister, and urged by Lockhart 
 and Fender, the rest, nothing loath, prepared them- 
 selves for an attack upon the dessert, and made 
 sundry changes evidently to their own comfort. 
 
 And they did enjoy the puddings, and would 
 hardly believe us when we told them of what they 
 were composed. Plateful after plateful was taken, 
 until they had tasted almost everything on the table 
 and everyone had taken as much as he could. 
 Wistfully Alister looked towards a large piece of plum- 
 pudding which I was pressing upon him, but was 
 compelled to say, " Na, na ; I canna manage that, 
 though I maun say it's awfu' temptin'. Bit fat ca' 
 ye that ower there ? It disna seem sae big like, an' 
 mak's my vera teeth water. I'll tak' a bit o't, ony- 
 way. It canna be pooshin, for it looks ower nice 
 for that." 
 
 So, being helped to some cornflour, he ate it with 
 evident relish, but was at last compelled to acknow- 
 ledge, as did the rest, " That though ye were to ram 
 it doon my throat — ay, even the finest o't — I couldna 
 eat it." 
 
 Gradually the table was cleared, and the cloth 
 removed. All sat round it with faces radiant with 
 the effects of good cheer, and chatting away as 
 familiarly as if they had been acquainted for as many 
 years as they had been hours. Alister was expati- 
 ating in his own quaint way about the supper, and
 
 ALISTER ORATES 249 
 
 declaring that it passed his " comprehension how 
 they manufactured sic stuff as they had been eatin'", 
 when the room door opened, and the landlady 
 appeared with a huge tray, on which were bottles, 
 tumblers, glasses, and smoking hot water. You 
 should have seen Alister's face, and heard the loud 
 "Whe — e — w" with which his speech was brought to 
 a conclusion, and watched the manner in which he 
 rubbed his hands as he shouted, "Ay, that's the 
 stuff, after sae grand a supper ! There's nae fear o't's 
 deein' us ony ill after a tumbler o' that", and he 
 watched with intense interest the placing of the 
 various articles on the table. 
 
 Soon the whole of us had a tumbler brewed and 
 our heads deep in its steam ; soon the generous fluid, 
 affecting us all, made us merry, and jokes and fun 
 became the order of the evening. Pipes were filled 
 and refilled, and the smoke rose in such clouds all 
 round the table that it was a matter of some difficulty 
 to recognise those at the other side. A second 
 tumbler was brewed, and the Highlanders' tongues, 
 formerly very sparing of their language, began to 
 clatter like those of the rest, both in their own and 
 the Scottish dialect. Jests were given and taken, 
 words bandied about in the best of temper, and 
 all were on the very best of terms, when a 
 commotion arose in the direction of Macalister. 
 His huge figure — with the buttons of his vest all gone 
 but one, and the top-band of his trousers about three 
 or four inches apart — was seen to rise from his seat 
 and in a stentorian voice call, " Silence ! Silence ! " 
 
 This having been obtained, he said, " I have been 
 waiting for some of the gentlemen present, my own 
 countrymen and also those of the Lowlands, to rise 
 and propose the health of the gentleman who this 
 night has treated us so handsomely, but none of them
 
 250 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 seems to think it worth his trouble. I, however, 
 having some spark of gratitude in me, have risen to 
 make up for this omission. It is not often that we" — 
 (looking towards his countrymen) — " have the oppor- 
 tunity of being present at such a supper as we have 
 had to-night. I must say that when he came to my 
 lodgings to invite me I took it for a hoax, such as I 
 once experienced during my happy Bageantdom " — 
 ("What was that?" "What was that?" came 
 from several, to which he replied, " Never mind just 
 now") — "and so I was very chary and ungentle- 
 manly, I am afraid, towards him." (" No, no ", said 
 I.) "If so, I here beg his pardon, and from the heart 
 retract anything I may have said. And now, let me 
 declare that I would not have been absent from 
 this feast for a great deal, and that the gentleman 
 who thus thought of us in his Bursary supper 
 showed a good heart and deserves our warmest 
 gratitude and thanks." (" Hear, hear ", and thunders 
 of applause.) " I have enjoyed it so much that it has 
 produced a sensible effect upon my corporation " — 
 (looking down towards the lost buttons amid roars of 
 laughter) — " but I have no doubt this generous fluid, 
 this nectar worthy of the gods, and truly our national 
 drink, this usquebaugh in which I pledge the good 
 health and long life of our illustrious and kind host, 
 will soon make me forget my loss or gain, and that we 
 shall soon all be friends and brothers ' o'er a wee 
 drappie o't'. Here's to our generous host's health!'' 
 The noise after this speech was almost deafening, 
 and, before I could get to my feet, Ronald Mac- 
 whirter, the opposite neighbour of Alister, got to his 
 legs and demanded to be heard. As there was 
 no putting him down, he was permitted to proceed. 
 "Allow me to second the proposition of my friend, 
 and to add to his judicious and well-timed remarks,
 
 MACWHIRTER SECONDS MOTION 251 
 
 the other, that the conduct of our host to-night shows 
 a kindness and goodness of heart that does him very 
 great credit. Such acts are few, and pity it is that 
 they are so. I know very well — and from sad 
 experience too — the class feeling that exists in this 
 country, which many generations will not eradicate, 
 and which debars us from associating much with 
 each other. I must allow, however, that there is 
 little or none of this in the classroom, and that there 
 a man is measured, as he ought to be, by his mental 
 calibre. Besides, that independence peculiar to us 
 as a class prevents us from being obliged to another 
 without making an adequate return, and since it is 
 impossible from our position to do so, we consider it 
 better and more independent to keep aloof altogether. 
 I know it is pride, but still we would rather possess it 
 than eat the bread of dependence. It was a feeling 
 of this nature that made me refuse at first the 
 invitation of our host this morning, but when I was 
 informed that Macalister was to be of the party, 
 I reconsidered my decision and consented. I had no 
 qualms of conscience regarding any past hoax, like 
 my friend opposite, and which I do not remember to 
 have heard, and I must say that I in no way regret 
 the fact of coming. I have enjoyed, and hope still to 
 enjoy it, as I have never done a night at college. 
 Let me, therefore, heartily second the motion of my 
 friend Alister, and wish long life and happiness to 
 our kind host." 
 
 I got to my feet in the midst of the uproar, and, 
 holding up my hands, entreated silence. But it was 
 of no use. The enthusiastic Highlanders would have 
 their burst out, and so I let them go on until it had 
 consumed itself. Then I began : " Gentlemen, the 
 favour to-night is on my side, not on yours. In 
 coming here and accepting my hospitality you have
 
 252 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 indeed done me a very great kindness and laid me 
 under a deep obligation. It is too often the case that 
 in our Bursary suppers we ask our daily companions 
 and forget those with whom we are less acquainted. 
 I departed a little from the stereotyped plan, and 
 have most certainly had my reward. I can assure 
 you, when I called upon Macalister this morning I did 
 not expect to have so happy or successful an evening. 
 It was with the greatest difficulty I could prevail 
 upon him to give me his consent, and as he has to 
 some extent explained his reason for being so 
 reluctant, I hope he will favour us with the full 
 details later on in the evening." (" Hear, hear", with 
 "We'll see, we'll see", from Alister.) "The last 
 speaker has referred to that class feeling which 
 exists in society. This, of course, none of us can 
 deny ; but there is one thing we may be proud of, 
 and that is, that it is entirely rooted out of our classes 
 at college. There the poor and the rich are on an 
 equality, and superiority is only gained by superiority 
 of talent. I have only to ask you to look at your 
 separate classes, and you will readily acknowledge I 
 am correct. This is as it should be, and it is a great 
 thing to boast that of no other institution in the 
 United Kingdom can this be so safely said. And long 
 may it continue increasing instead of diminishing, 
 though I am afraid that, as class feeling is diminished 
 in the world our republic of letters will become less 
 conservative. I hope this meeting to-night will help 
 to keep up among us good fellowship, and to do away 
 with that feeling of superiority which birth or position 
 in society has too long engendered. In my opinion, 
 position should arise from talent and perseverance 
 only. Now, gentlemen, enjoy yourselves, throw off 
 all reserve, and let us be like brothers. In doing 
 this you will do me the greatest favour, and do more
 
 ALISTER'S "SMA' EPISODE" 25» 
 
 than anything else to add to the hilarity of the 
 evening." 
 
 And they did enjoy themselves, becoming more and 
 more free and easy as the bottle circulated, and really 
 appearing as if they had been acquaintances of some 
 years' standing. Suddenly Fender called out, "Come 
 now, Alister, you've never told us that story yet". 
 
 " What story, man ? " 
 
 " The story that made you almost refuse to 
 accept Mac's invitation." 
 
 " I never said I would. Besides, it has reference 
 to some of the big wigs at college, and therefore 
 must not be mooted." 
 
 " Oho ! That's it, is it ? " cried all, more eager 
 than ever to hear it. " Why, then, we must have it! 
 Is it about Geordie?" 
 
 " Na, na ; never ye mind it." 
 
 " But we must mind it. You surely will not be 
 so shabby as not to tell it. Look at Mac, there: he 
 seems awfully disappointed." 
 
 " I must say I should be very sorry to disappoint 
 him after his kindness, but as it is a mere nothing 
 there cannot be anything shabby in refusing. Be- 
 sides, it is hardly fair to speak about it now when it 
 is all past." 
 
 " But we shall not speak about it, I can assure 
 you. We shall swear to secrecy." 
 
 " O, there is not much need of swearing, but the 
 fact is I don't like even to think about it, though it 
 was great fun, after all." 
 
 " Well, come, let us have it, and it will ease your 
 mind. Drink out your glass and brew another. 
 Gentlemen, replenish — Alister is going to give the 
 history of his past life." 
 
 " Na, na; only a sma' episode," 
 
 " Very well, gentlemen : Alister's 'Sma' Episode'."
 
 CHAPTER XXII 
 
 For blyth an' chcerie we'll be a' 
 As lang as we hae breath to draw, 
 An' dance till we be like to fa' 
 The Reel o' Tullochgorum. 
 
 — jfohn Skinner, 
 
 M.A., Mar. Coll., 7738. 
 
 " You are all aware that one of the professors, who 
 shall be nameless, and who has now gone the way 
 of all the earth, had a particular affection for those 
 students who were connected with any of the High- 
 land clans. He is said to have boasted that there 
 was not a drop of Lowland blood in his veins, and 
 that such a breed was his utter aversion. It was, 
 therefore, our exclusive privilege to be invited to his 
 breakfasts and small parties, and as the professor 
 had a posse of daughters, you can well believe that 
 we were often the envied of the less fortunate. Not 
 that it is such a pleasant thing to be present at these, 
 for many of us, being unacquainted with the ways of 
 such high society, naturally felt awkward, and com- 
 mitted a great many ludicrous mistakes, which were 
 the subject of many a hearty laugh afterwards 
 among the more polished of the students. And yet, 
 spite of your disinclination to go, and your know- 
 ledge that you would be uncomfortable and perhaps 
 commit some stupid mistake, these invitations, like 
 those of our Sovereign Lady Queen Victoria, par- 
 take more of a command than a request. 
 
 " During the year of my Bageantdom I had the
 
 THE INVITATION 255 
 
 pleasure of stretching my legs under this professor's 
 mahogany, and of eating a hearty breakfast without 
 making a fool of myself. This was a matter of 
 congratulation, for many of my class-fellows made 
 such awful mistakes that they were the butts of the 
 class for months afterwards. However, spite of the 
 predilection shown for us and our clanship, we were 
 by no means prepared for such a display of kindness 
 as he extended to us about the merry time of 
 Christmas. 
 
 " I had gone home from college, and was about 
 to sit down to my dinner, when I noticed a letter on 
 the mantelpiece. It was not often that I was 
 favoured with such notes, and you may be sure that, 
 from pure curiosity, I hastened to master its con- 
 tents. You may imagine my surprise when I found 
 it was an invitation from our kind-hearted professor 
 to a dance at his house on the following Thursday. 
 I could hardly believe my eyes, rubbed them again 
 to see if I was awake, and turned over and over the 
 paper, scarcely believing it was real. But there it 
 was, and I believe is still, for this is the very 
 coat I wore on the occasion ", and he commenced 
 fumbling in his pockets, and at last produced the 
 following document : — 
 
 " Professor Mac presents his compliments to 
 
 Mr. Alister Macalister, and requests the favour of 
 his company at his house, on Thursday the 25th, at 
 eight o'clock. 
 
 " P.S. — Reels and strathspeys. Be sure and 
 bring your slippers." 
 
 " That's the veritable note, gentlemen, and you 
 may well smile at it. Even then, in my yellow 
 Bageantdom, I did so ; but then I knew the Professor 
 to be a quaint fellow and one that loved a joke, and
 
 256 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 so thought little about it. However, to make sure 
 that there was no mistake, I went to see my friend 
 and countryman, Donald Macdonald. As soon as I 
 entered his room he jumped up and cried, 'I know 
 what you've come about. You've got an invitation 
 
 to Professor Mac 's party. So have I. I have 
 
 no doubt, now, that the thing is genuine, but to make 
 assurance doubly sure we shall go and call on our 
 various countrymen whom we know he favours, 
 and see if invitations have been sent to them. If so, 
 then we may be proud of the distinction. And yet I 
 am not altogether surprised at it, for it is only 
 another proof of the old saying, " Blood is thicker 
 than water" '. 
 
 " Calling on our friends, we found that almost 
 every one had received a similar invitation, of which 
 they were mightily proud. The Highland blood was 
 up, and they scrupled not to boast loudly of the 
 exclusive honour done them by their professor, and 
 to look down with contempt on their less fortunate 
 Lowland brethren. When it became known, you can 
 easily suppose that the fortunate few were the 
 objects of much envy, and that they had many a 
 talk among themselves how they would act, with 
 which of the Professor's daughters they would 
 dance, to whom they would make love, and which of 
 the songs of grand old Ossian they would sing. 
 
 " The eventful Thursday came, and at eight 
 o'clock you might have seen us all wending our way 
 in the direction of the Professor's house. In my 
 best black suit, the identical one I have on just now 
 — only it had not lost its buttons, and was able to 
 meet over the region of my stomach — I stood at the 
 door and rang the bell. Donald Macdonald was 
 with me, and, while we stood waiting the result 
 of our summons, Lachlan Maclean and Gregor
 
 "THE CRY IS, 'STILL THEY COME'." 257 
 
 Macgregor came up. When the serving-man opened 
 the door we asked for the Professor, and were 
 shown very poHtely into the drawing-room. We had 
 scarcely entered when the bell again sounded, and 
 oif went the man to answer it. Another couple were 
 ushered in, and then another and another, till the 
 poor fellow w^as almost out of breath running back- 
 wards and forwards. Rather more than a dozen 
 had arrived, when, during a lull, he popped his head 
 into the room and asked who would he say were 
 waiting the Professor? Somewhat surprised that 
 the serving-man even was not aware of our coming, 
 but putting it down to that exclusiveness which char- 
 acterized all his actions, we were about to explain, 
 when the door-bell rang again, followed by another 
 peal, which made the serving-man start, and go off 
 at full speed. 
 
 " Left alone, we looked around us with wonder and 
 awe at the various things scattered about the room. 
 Most sat in hushed silence gazing eagerly around ; 
 some made remarks on some of the furniture, and 
 the probable use to which it was applied; while two 
 or three began to hum over some of their favourite 
 reels with which they intended to surprise some of 
 the Professor's daughters. Just then the door 
 opened, and the Professor, with anything but an 
 inviting countenance, stood before us. In a voice by 
 no means pleasant, he said, ' Gentlemen, may I ask 
 to what I am indebted for the honour of the present 
 visit?' 
 
 "We looked blankly, stood in silence, and then 
 stared one at the other, expecting each to speak. 
 Meantime, the Professor's eyes scintillated in a very 
 ominous manner. 
 
 " ' Gentlemen, I repeat, to what am I indebted for 
 the honour of the present visit ? ' 
 18
 
 258 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " Then Donald Macdonald, in a voice scarcely 
 audible, informed him that we had been summoned 
 here by an invitation sent by himself. 
 
 "'Sent by me! Impossible! I never sent any 
 such thing in my life. Have you got a copy of it?' 
 promptly demanded he. 
 
 " About half-a-dozen hands were stretched out at 
 once, and the Professor, seizing it, read the quaintly- 
 worded note. At once the stern expression of his 
 face gave way to a sort of smile, and as he gave it 
 back he said, ' Gentlemen, I see you have been the 
 victims of a mischievous hoax. / never sent the 
 invitation, but some of your waggish fellows have. 
 They intended to cheat both you and me, but we will 
 cheat them. Knowing that all the Highlanders are 
 fond of reels and strathspej'^s, and that it is almost 
 impossible for us to resist a dance, they have worked 
 upon our weak point. Now, gentlemen, can any of 
 you supply us with the music ? ' 
 
 " Colin Mackenzie ventured to suggest that 
 ^neas Macpherson, who was famous in his native 
 vale for his performances on the bagpipes, should be 
 sent to his lodgings for them, and that they could 
 then dance to the strains of their own national music. 
 The Professor, who declared that he loved the 
 notes of the bagpipes better than those of any other 
 musical instrument, was afraid that the confined 
 nature of the room would destroy the effect and mar 
 their beauty, and the rest being of the same opinion, 
 the proposition was reluctantly negatived. Hector 
 Macnaughtan's fiddle was then suggested, but as he 
 lived at the other end of the town, and it had lost 
 two of its strings, this proposal also fell to the 
 ground. At last the Professor said, ' But what am I 
 thinking about? Here is the piano, and I can get 
 one of my daughters to play, so let us have some of
 
 THE TABLES TURNED. 259 
 
 the real Highland dancing, as Highlanders only can 
 dance. I am sorry I cannot supply you with partners, 
 but will be delighted if you will give me a specimen 
 of your ram-reels, as you are in the habit of dancing 
 them in the Lobby of a Saturday evening. Now, 
 gentlemen, let us have it with spirit, and do not be 
 afraid to give the real, true Highland " hough" ' — and 
 the Professor, bringing in one of his daughters, led her 
 to the piano, when she proceeded to play the ' Reel o' 
 Tulloch ', till our feet itched to be upon the floor. 
 
 "After some staring at each other, we rose and 
 entered into the spirit of the thing. Round and 
 round, up and down, and through all the mazes of that 
 glorious reel we went, " houghing " and yelling like 
 so many wild Highlanders, the Professor inciting us 
 to still more wild displays. At last his daughter was 
 compelled to stop, and we, with very great reluctance, 
 took our seats. At this critical moment the Professor 
 gave a signal to the serving-man, and in a short time 
 he was moving round the room with a tray on wdiich 
 there were glasses filled with spirits. Of course, we 
 never refused to take it, and when he informed us 
 that this was some of the genuine article, manu- 
 factured in the very heart of our own native hills and 
 unadulterated by a single drop of Lowland water, 
 we rose to our feet and drank his health in real 
 Highland fashion. 
 
 " 'And now, gentlemen, as I do not wish to tax 
 your kindness too far, and am mindful of the work 
 you have before you, I shall thank you for another 
 dance, and then we shall bring this pleasant evening 
 to a close. You can tell your friends who had the 
 kindness to perpetrate the hoax that, instead of 
 doing harm, they have done us a very great favour, 
 and that we shall ever feel obliged to them. And 
 nows let us have the dance.'
 
 260 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " I need not tell you that it was done full justice 
 to, no doubt greatly owing to the glass of whisky 
 which we had drunk. Entering into the spirit of the 
 thing, as Highlanders only can do, I can assure you 
 that, speaking for myself, I was very sorry when it 
 came to a conclusion, and when I found myself 
 shaking hands with the Professor, and thanking him 
 in his native language. At the door we found a 
 number of our college companions, who had been 
 attracted by the noise or informed of our sham 
 invitation, but who said little, finding the tables 
 turned against them. Anyway, spite of its being a 
 hoax, we enjoyed a very good evening, and none of 
 us regret to this day the mischievous trick played 
 upon us." 
 
 "And did you never find out who did it?" 
 inquired I. 
 
 No, though we had pretty fair suspicions. For 
 my own part, I thought Fender was at the bottom 
 of it." 
 
 "Me!" cried Fender. " Upon my word of 
 honour, I knew nothing about it." 
 
 " Well, it does not matter now. The parties who 
 did it have all likely left college, and there is no use 
 saying anything more about it." 
 
 " But did not the Professor try to find them out?" 
 
 "No, he never did; perhaps because he knew 
 from past experience that it would be useless." 
 
 No doubt. It was a very good joke, however." 
 All's well that ends well.' Had it been other- 
 wise, it might have been unpleasant for many." 
 
 " He was a Goth, however, that Professor." 
 No, sir ; he was a pure Celt." 
 
 "All right, Alister; I was not going to say any- 
 thing very disparaging of him. I was remembering 
 the remark. Nil nisi bonnm de mortuis.'"
 
 QUARTERDECK LATINITY. 261 
 
 But some time ago our college must have been 
 a regular hole-and-corner affair. The professors 
 were the nominees of a few, and it has been known 
 that the marriage of a professor's daughter was the 
 stepping-stone to one of the best livings in the 
 college." 
 
 I have heard ", said Lockhart, " but perhaps 
 it is only rumour or the false tongue of tradition, 
 that one of these fortunate fellows had to learn the 
 Greek alphabet after he had been appointed to the 
 chair. It is said to have been grand to hear him 
 translate the first line of the Iliad. If anyone was 
 so stupid as to attempt to transfer that glorious 
 poet's introduction into literal English, he would look 
 at him with a shade of contempt in his face, and say, 
 ' Ay ! ay ! But give us it in the glorious words of 
 Pope'." 
 
 " That must have been the person", said Fender, 
 " whose language in the classroom was not always 
 choice. I suppose you will all be aware that it was 
 the invariable practice in former days to address the 
 students in Latin. Of course, this often caused very 
 ludicrous mistakes, particularly in the case of this 
 professor, who being, as tradition reports, a surgeon 
 in the Navy, had been in the habit of using other 
 language than now fell to his lot. Besides, not being 
 a good Latin scholar, or — to take the most charitable 
 view of the subject — having forgotten what little he 
 did know, he often used words which were nowhere to 
 be found in ' Ainsworth'. It is related of him that, 
 coming into the classroom one day, and finding a 
 student jumping over the desks, he cried out, ' I lie qui 
 jumpavit solve unum sixpence'. On another occasion, 
 for a like offence, and perhaps to distinguish the 
 party, he cried out, ' Tu puer, wi' the red head, qui 
 jumpasti super deskium, solve unum sixpence, and if
 
 262 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 you don't, ego te verberabo'. And to those who were 
 restless, and for the purpose of teasing him moved 
 about the classroom, he would cry out in a stentorian 
 voice, that would be heard the whole length of the 
 quadrangle, ' Visne sedem tenere, ye lang-legget 
 loon, ye guid-fir-naething scamp?'" 
 
 " That's drawing the long bow. Fender", said my 
 cousin. 
 
 It is not, for if you make inquiry of anyone 
 acquainted with the antiquarian lore connected with 
 the college, you will find it quite true." 
 
 " I'm afraid I would find it real 'antiquarian 
 lore '." 
 
 " Not at all, my dear sir. You would find it the 
 real, genuine article, unadulterated and not sur- 
 rounded with any of the hazy atmosphere which 
 usually accompanies traditionary lore." 
 
 " It would require more than your word to make 
 me believe so." 
 
 " Why, man, it is as well known as that the 
 appointment of professors was in those days a hole- 
 and-corner business." 
 
 " Or that many of the bursaries do not go to the 
 proper parties." 
 
 " That cannot be said regarding the Competition 
 ones, but there may be grave doubts about the 
 private bursaries." 
 
 "Why, it is as clear as noonday that many 
 parties possess bursaries wdiose parents are able 
 enough to keep them at college. It strikes me 
 it was not for these that the bursaries were 
 founded." 
 
 " Why do they not publish a list of the private as 
 well as of the public ones, so that we may know who 
 has the best chance? For one, I say it is very 
 unfair."
 
 HOLE-AND-CORNER DOINGS. 263 
 
 " Many things are unfair in a Senatus, for, as 
 you must know, the members are above law, and can 
 do what they please. They have done so in the past 
 with college property, and they will do so in the 
 future, until their meetings are open to the public, 
 or at least reported in our local papers." 
 
 " That is the only way to make them heed what 
 they are about." 
 
 "And yet the College Competition is a grand 
 idea." 
 
 " The grandest that could have been conceived." 
 
 " I don't know what I should have done without 
 it ", said Macalister. 
 
 " Nor I, either", said Macwhirter. 
 
 "Well, Macwhirter", said I, "if you have no 
 objections, will you tell us how you managed to get 
 ready for it? I have no doubt your tale will be 
 interesting and instructive, and new to us all." 
 
 " With pleasure, if you allow me to tell it in my 
 own way, and don't interrupt me. It was a hard 
 struggle, but one that I now look back upon with 
 pleasure, and, I do not hesitate to say, with pride 
 also." 
 
 " You will be your own master in everything. 
 Refill, gentlemen; and silence, please, for Mac- 
 whirter's experiences."
 
 CHAPTER XXIII 
 
 My name is Norval : on the Grampian hills 
 My father feeds his flock, a frugal swain. 
 
 — yolm Home : " Douglas." 
 
 " The earliest recollection I have is of being with 
 the sheep on the hillside. During the summer 
 months, or in fine weather, this was pleasant enough, 
 but in the rain, and on the cold, bleak days of winter, 
 it was a miserable existence, and one altogether 
 unfitted for one so young. I used to be sent to the 
 parish school during the three worst months, and 
 managed to pick up a fair knowledge of words, and 
 even acquire considerable proficiency in reading, I 
 had always a craving for books — at least ever after 
 the grand idea entered my brain that the alphabet 
 and its accompanying sounds were the secret which 
 opened a world of wonders. Once able to read, 
 during the long winter evenings I conned over every 
 book I could lay my hands upon under the dim oil 
 lamp that hung in the room where we dwelt, and 
 when the summer came, and the bright days shone 
 down upon us, I would take some book to the hill- 
 side and feast thereon, sometimes reading aloud to 
 my companions, and delighting them with the 
 wonders contained in the old, well-thumbed volumes. 
 " As I grew up this craving increased, and I 
 teased the lives of all around to obtain sufficient 
 pabulum to allay it. One of the kindest in lending 
 books was my master's son, in return for which I
 
 "NURSED UPON THE SELF-SAME HILL." 265 
 
 would show him hirds' nests, and do for him many 
 things which he did not hke to do himself. We were 
 sworn friends, and in the long summer evenings 
 would lie on the hillsides and dream the hours away. 
 We would talk about what we would do when we 
 were men, of the adventures we would have, and 
 the sights we would see. O, those lovely summer 
 days on the hills — how happy, how joyous they 
 were ! Without a thought of care, and with the 
 future stretching all before us, we lay and panted to 
 be there. But, ah, how different the reality ! How 
 many troubles were to come, how many trials were 
 to be endured, before that future could be reached ; 
 and when it came, how different was it from that 
 which we had pictured ! 
 
 " From my companion I one day learned a fact 
 which afterwards coloured the whole of my life. It 
 was this — that anyone, however humble his position, 
 however poor his lot, may, by his own exertions and 
 by his own scholarship, gain such a bursary in open 
 public competition as might keep him at college and 
 pay his class expenses. When I first learned this 
 I could hardly believe that I had heard aright, or 
 that such a thing could be possible. From that day 
 the whole idea of my life was changed. I deter- 
 mined, at whatever cost, to prepare myself for this 
 Competition, and to try to place my name among the 
 fortunate few. Once at college, once the thin end 
 of the wedge was inserted, I had no fear of the 
 result, but was as sure of that acme of every 
 Scotchman's ambition — the Church — as I was of my 
 own existence. 
 
 " But how was I to obtain the knowledge neces- 
 sary for this ? I was occupied all day, and at night 
 sat in a room among a number of other people, who 
 would not give me any quiet to prosecute my studies.
 
 266 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 But any person — particularly a Scotchman — when 
 determined to gain an object, will soon find the ways 
 and means to obtain it. I had become extremely 
 fond of astronomy, and meeting with the large and 
 excellent treatise of Ferguson, a Scotch herd laddie 
 like myself, I studied to such good purpose that I 
 had obtained a tolerably accurate knowledge of it. 
 I had often spoken of the heavenly bodies and their 
 wonders to my master's son, and thereby excited in 
 his mind a desire to become acquainted with them. 
 To his request that I should teach him, I replied, 
 
 Fair exchange is no robbery ". I'll learn you 
 astronomy if you teach me Latin.' Proud to act 
 the schoolmaster, and to show off his learning to 
 one whom, in some things, he found ahead of him, 
 he at once accepted the offer, and next day the 
 'Rudiments' were brought to the hillside, and I got 
 my first lesson in Latin. Until the afternoon, I 
 stalked about declining the various cases of penna, 
 and shouting them out to the sheep, so that, when 
 my teacher arrived and with a critical air listened 
 to my lesson, he acknowledged that I had done 
 remarkably well. After testing my knowledge by 
 asking various questions and giving me a number of 
 other words to decline, he told me, with a satisfied 
 air, that I might pass on to the second declension. 
 
 " Thus the summer days wore on, and winter 
 began to approach. I had been rather more than 
 six months in Latin, and could manage to go through 
 the ' Rudiments ' very accurately, make a few 
 simple sentences, and had even looked into Caesar, 
 but as the month of October approached, my hopes 
 received a severe damper in the announcement that 
 my teacher's father had determined to send him off 
 to college at the end of that month. I was in 
 despair, while he was in the seventh heaven of
 
 HOPE DEFERRED. 267 
 
 enjoyment, I knew that without him I could do 
 nothing, and that it would be impossible for me to 
 obtain the services of any other person. As my 
 spirits became depressed, and began sensibly to 
 affect my working powers, my teacher inquired the 
 cause and promised to speak to his father. But he 
 went off to college, and I was left for many a weary 
 day to look at my books, and sigh for the assistance 
 which my kind-hearted friend used to render. Every- 
 thing seemed black and dreary, and I looked upon 
 my future with anything but bright hopes ; and yet 
 I plodded on, working longer into the night, and 
 conning over my book, which I always carried in mj' 
 pocket, whenever a leisure hour offered itself. 
 
 " But ' Man's extremity is God's opportunity.' 
 Long after my friend had left for college, and 
 when I had come to the conclusion that he had 
 completely forgotten to report my case to his 
 father, my master called me into the 'parlour', 
 and, informing me that he had heard from his 
 son that I was trying to better myself, said that 
 he had mentioned my case to the minister, who 
 had placed it before the schoolmaster, and that 
 it had been settled that I was to go to school for the 
 whole of the next winter. If I did well they would 
 then consider my position and see what further 
 could be done. 
 
 " I left the room scarcely knowing whether I had 
 heard aright. When the sweet reality became clear 
 to me, I almost danced with joy, and kept repeating 
 to myself, ' Now I'm in for a bursary'. I need not 
 tell you that I worked well, both from a natural love 
 for learning and because I wished to show the 
 minister and the schoolmaster that they had not 
 been deceived in me. And so all through the winter 
 I went to school, helped in m\- masters house during
 
 268 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 the hours in which I was not otherwise engaged, and 
 studied in every leisure hour I had. Every minute 
 was precious to me and carefully used, so that I soon 
 made progress, and evidently gave the master satis- 
 faction. And the great spur that urged me on was 
 the bursary. As I studied at school, and mastered 
 some difficult}^ that had long puzzled me, I would, to 
 encourage myself, say, ' O, for a bursary ! ' As I 
 walked home in drenching rain or biting sleet, I would 
 cry out to the roaring winds, ' O, for a bursary ! ' As 
 I translated Latin into English, or composed some 
 of those versions well known to you all, I would 
 whisper to myself, ' O, for a sine errore version, and 
 O, for a bursary!' And with this spur to exertion, 
 with this watchword, on I went, determined to do my 
 best to obtain one. Many and many a time did I 
 bless the memory of those who had thus placed in 
 our way this stepping-stone to learning. 
 
 " Thus the winter passed, and the breezy days of 
 spring came. The schoolmaster gave a favourable 
 report, but however willing my master might have 
 been to further my views, he could not do without my 
 services. I had therefore to return to my old 
 occupation, and during my spare hours rub myself 
 up in my Latin. Though the schoolmaster kindly 
 permitted me to go and consult him at any time I 
 pleased, yet I could not intrude upon him with every 
 little difficulty that troubled me, and had it not been 
 for my old friend, my master's son, who had returned 
 for his summer holidays, I should have been very 
 badly off. I was stimulated onwards not only by his 
 kind remarks, but by what he told me of that seat of 
 learning where he had spent the winter. I came to 
 look upon it as the El Dorado of my hopes, and felt a 
 sort of sacred reverence for the very pile, which 
 reminded me of the feeling which the Jews enter-
 
 
 X 
 
 r.
 
 THE TRIBES AT SHILOH. 269 
 
 tained for the dust of their ancient Jerusalem. I am 
 sorry to say, however, that a closer connexion has to 
 some extent destroyed this feeling, and proved the 
 truth of the poet's remark, that ' distance lends 
 enchantment to the view'. 
 
 " When winter returned, I was again sent to 
 school, and worked most assiduously at my lessons. 
 I read Caesar and Virgil, and once or twice attained 
 the acme of my ambition — a sine errore version. 
 But I knew that a sine errore version under my 
 master was a different thing from one under that 
 prince of Latin scholars. Dr. Melvin ; and until one 
 could come up to something like his scholars there 
 was little hope of success. When the busy time 
 returned, the teacher, seeing my anxiety, prevailed 
 upon my master to allow me to go to his house at 
 certain hours that suited him, and there he drilled 
 me in the idiomatic peculiarities of the Greek and 
 Latin languages. These were the happiest hours 
 that ever I spent, and showed me the schoolmaster 
 in a new light altogether — that of the kind-hearted, 
 genial man. You will all admit that there seems to 
 be nothing that delights a schoolmaster so much as 
 the working up of young men for the college. 
 Perhaps it reminds them of their own young days, 
 and of their own hard struggles, and, more than all, 
 it gives them an opportunity of pushing forward 
 another in the intellectual world — a thing a Scotch- 
 man, and especially a Scotch schoolmaster, delights 
 in. 
 
 " So passed the summer, and so drew near the 
 month of October. I need not remind you that of 
 all months in the year this has to us students the 
 greatest significance. On it depends the fate of 
 many a poor fellow : whether he will move forward 
 or give up for ever the grand ideas that have floated
 
 270 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 in his brain. I intended walking to college, as the 
 greater number of our poor students do, but my 
 kind master told me that as his son was going I 
 could accompany him, and thus without any expense 
 — a very important consideration to me — I was 
 landed at the place where everything depended on 
 myself. Though my teacher declared I had a very 
 good chance, I was by no means sanguine of 
 success, and I can assure you no one was more 
 surprised than I when my name was called out, and 
 ' Davie ' informed me that I was the fortunate 
 gainer of a bursary of the value of £15. 
 
 " You need not be told that I did not refuse it, or 
 that I thanked, with grateful heart, a kind Provi- 
 dence for so signally answering my oft-repeated 
 prayer, ' O, for a bursary ! ' " 
 
 " Your case, Macwhirter, is not a solitary one ", 
 said I. " Many hundreds could be brought forward 
 of the same kind, far less fortunate than you." 
 
 " That is true, as I can prove in my own per- 
 sonal experience ", said Hector. " I had many 
 more difficulties to contend with than he, and 
 was much longer before I gained the summit of 
 my ambition. Like Macwhirter, my prayer — 
 
 morning, noon, and night — was, ' O, for a bursary!' 
 and each year, as I heard of the fortunate few, 
 my determination to emulate them was still 
 more confirmed. I am one of a large family, and 
 from my earliest years have been inured to hard 
 work. My father was a common labourer, and as I 
 had at an early age to follow his occupation, you 
 can easily suppose that, after a hard day's work, 
 there was little inclination left for study. Nor was 
 there much opportunity, for in a room with rather 
 more than half-a-dozen children romping about, you 
 can well understand that there could have been little
 
 "AYONT THE TWAL'." 271 
 
 quietness for study. I was thus compelled, if I 
 wished to improve myself, to study during the hours 
 when the rest were steeped in slumber. So, often 
 far into the night and morning would I sit, trying to 
 master somewhat of that language which was the 
 Open Sesame to all future eminence. But it was 
 very hard and very disheartening work. By my 
 parents I was scolded for sitting up to all hours of 
 the night, wasting fire and light, and by my friends 
 I was laughed at and jeered because I wished to 
 make myself better than they. But what troubled 
 me most of all was the want of books. I was too 
 poor to buy them, and was thus compelled to obtain 
 them as best I could by loan, so that often when I 
 would be just beginning to see my way, the book 
 would be taken away, and I would lose nearly all I 
 had learned. Through the kindness of a friend who 
 was going to college, I was presented with a Latin 
 Rudiments ', a ' Delectus ', and ' Grammatical 
 Exercises '. O, what wealth I seemed to possess 
 when all these were mine ! how many hours of the 
 night did I pore over them and try to discover their 
 hidden mysteries ! But it was slow work, for I had 
 no person to help me or show me where I was 
 wrong, and I would often spend whole evenings 
 trying to discover what a single hint would have at 
 once cleared up. When the summer came, I was 
 rather better off, for my kind friend who gave me 
 the books helped me over many difficulties I could 
 not alone surmount. 
 
 " But every day it was becoming more and more 
 clear to me that it would be impossible to go on 
 without some assistance, and so I determined to 
 save as much money as would enable me to go to 
 school for at least a quarter during the short days of 
 winter, when our work was slackest. As my parents
 
 272 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 objected to this very stronglj^, I had to save as 
 much as would pay for my keep as well as my fees. 
 The latter, thanks to our splendid parochial system 
 of education, were not very great, as for a few 
 shillings I could obtain a thorough knowledge of 
 everything necessary for passing the Competition 
 and gaining a bursar\\ I studied hard, and did not 
 waste a single hour. I might have done more, but 
 my comforts at home were very few, and every 
 obstacle was thrown in my way by mj^ parents, who 
 thought that by this means they would prevail upon 
 me to give up my project. When I look back upon 
 that weary time, that time of severe trial caused by 
 that arch-enemy of mankind, drink, I often wonder 
 that my courage stood the test, and that I did not 
 return to my old occupation. But no ; I struggled 
 on, and in the beginning of the summer removed to 
 a neighbouring town. 
 
 I was urged to this by the fact that wages were 
 better there, that I was not comfortable at home, and 
 because there was a schoolmaster in the place noted 
 for the successful preparation of young men for the 
 Competition. Early in the year I went to this place, 
 worked hard all the summer, saved carefully every 
 halfpenny, and at the beginning of the winter entered 
 the school. There I really felt my deficiency, and 
 how far behind the majority of the scholars I was, 
 but instead of this damping me it only acted as a 
 spur to further exertion. Day after day and night 
 after night I toiled with patient care, and had the 
 pleasure of seeing that it was not in vain. Gradually 
 I made my way up in the class, and was doing 
 remarkably well, when I was compelled to return to 
 my old occupation. Another summer of hard work 
 and hard study succeeded, and then I was again at 
 school, and found I had not lost so very much.
 
 "HIS POW IN A POOPIT" 273 
 
 Finding I was determined to push myself through, 
 the schoohnaster obtained for me some private 
 teaching, which enabled me to remain all the summer 
 at school, and go up with the others to the Compe- 
 tition. With fear and trembling I went through the 
 work, and when the declaration day came, I went 
 home almost mad with joy, for was not I the 
 fortunate gainer of a £12 10s. bursary, gained by 
 myself, mind you, not by help from influential friends, 
 but obtained by my own hard, intellectual toil ? 
 This may be something like boasting, but I think we, 
 if any, have a right to be proud of our work. Many 
 may think there is not much to boast of, but though 
 my bursary is small, it is quite sufficient for my 
 wants, along with the two bags of meal and potatoes 
 and the barrel of herrings which I brought with me. 
 Thus you see, Macwhirter, my case was even harder 
 than j'ours." 
 
 " So I see." 
 
 "And what do you say, Gregor?" said I. 
 
 " Well, mine's just something of the same — a hard 
 struggle with the world, and success at last. I also 
 am the son of parents so poor that they could not, 
 even if they would, have assisted me. With a family 
 of six children, and such wages as a farm servant 
 gets in the Highlands, you can well suppose that 
 there would be little to spare for my education. And 
 yet my parents were determined, at whatever cost, 
 to give me an education such as would fit me to gain 
 a bursary, and with this aim in view they denied 
 themselves necessaries and almost all the luxuries of 
 life. But they were not singular in this, for almost 
 every well-disposed labourer's family in Scotland 
 does the same, the great desire of every one being 
 to see at least one of their sons ' wag his pow in a 
 poopit'. In my efforts I was greatly assisted by the 
 19
 
 274 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 schoolmaster, who, seeing my anxiety for knowledge 
 and my wilhngness to work, offered to educate me 
 for nothing, declaring that if I gained a bursary he 
 would be well repaid for all his trouble. I need not 
 tell you that this generous offer was as freely 
 accepted as it was freely offered, or that I set to my 
 work with a firm determination to succeed. Version 
 after version was composed until I arrived at the 
 magic words, 'sine errore\ when my master, with a 
 twinkle in his eye, would clap me on the shoulder and 
 say, ' That's the way ! Go on like that and you'll be 
 certain to come in amongst the fortunate few.' 
 Year after year this hard work continued without any 
 intermission, and I was beginning to fear that the 
 acme of my ambition was never to be gained. At 
 last my master said that I could go up, and so, 
 setting out, I walked the whole way to the Old Town 
 and for the first time looked upon that Crown which 
 has since had such tender associations for me. I was 
 found amongst the list of competitors on the following 
 Monday and Tuesday, and, when the eventful declara- 
 tion day came, I was indeed surprised to hear myself 
 declared the winner of a £16 10s. bursary. You may 
 be sure that I immediately wrote off to my parents 
 and the schoolmaster, and I have made it a point 
 every Bursary day since to remit some money to my 
 parents, who struggled so hard to make me what 
 I am." 
 
 " That's right, Gregor. There is no doubt your 
 heart is in the right place. I wish I had parents 
 to whom I could do the same ", said M'Kenzie. 
 " Mine died when I was very young, for I was left an 
 orphan when about two years old, and so became 
 dependent on the bountj^ of strangers. My life has 
 not been a particularly'' pleasant one, for those to 
 whose care I was entrusted had a large family of
 
 KEEPING A SIDE SCHOOL 275 
 
 their own, and did not care to be burdened with me. 
 You may be sure that I was early thrown upon my 
 own resources, and that I learned to eat the bread of 
 poverty. Like Mac there, I always had an inordinate 
 craving for reading, and taxed the libraries of all the 
 people round and round for books. But there were 
 very few to be found in the houses of those with 
 whom I was acquainted, and for a time I could not 
 reach those of the schoolmaster or minister. By 
 good luck, however, I by and by got to be serving- 
 man to the latter, and he, noticing my desire, 
 encouraged it, and supplied me with books of every 
 kind, so that I acquired a good, general knowledge, 
 and came to be looked upon among my companions 
 as something beyond the common. 
 
 "About this time the Presbytery determined to 
 open a side school in a destitute part of the district, 
 and I was asked, at the instigation of the minister, to 
 undertake the charge of it. I did so with fear and 
 trembling, but I soon found that my knowledge was 
 quite sufficient, and that all that was needed was a 
 good acquaintance with the Gaelic and English, not 
 forgetting the Shorter Catechism. I set to work 
 with spirit, and in time managed to make a verj- 
 good school. True, the fees were small, in many 
 cases nothing : my whole income was not large, but 
 quite sufficient for all my wants, even enabling me to 
 lay past something for a future time. 
 
 But, as I toiled on, a new ambition seized me — 
 I must go to college. I therefore set to work to 
 prepare myself in the subjects necessary for this, and 
 was greatly assisted by the schoolmaster of my 
 native parish. He was not, however, a very good 
 scholar, and for many years had neglected his 
 classical studies, being more inclined to be a 
 worshipper of Bacchus than of any other ancient
 
 276 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 god. After a certain point I obtained little assistance 
 from him, and so was compelled to prosecute my 
 studies alone. When I thought I was sufficiently 
 prepared, I gave my pupils a week's holiday, and set 
 out for the Competition. I went in, but, whenever I 
 saw the first day's paper, I knew very well that I had 
 not the least chance. However, I went through 
 them all for the purpose of knowing how things were 
 done. I waited for the declaration, and then 
 trudged nay weary way home again. By the following 
 Monday I resumed my work, determined to struggle 
 on for the prize which I had set before myself. Year 
 after year I came, until my face was almost as 
 familiar as Macalister's, and I was beginning to give 
 way to despair. But two years ago, when my hope 
 was faint and my heart failed within me, you can 
 imagine the feeling of joy that shot through me when 
 I found my name called out among the rest. My 
 bursary is not large, only £10, but then, with the 
 little I have saved and my school during the summer, 
 it is enough for all my wants. You know these are 
 not large or extravagant, and we all live in anything 
 but palatial residences. But never mind. By 
 pinching ourselves to-day we will manage to reap 
 some future reward; and what greater reward can 
 there be than to sit at the fountain-head of know- 
 ledge, and perhaps some day lay down the law to the 
 whole of the people ? " 
 
 " That's the thing, M'Kenzie. I hope we shall all 
 have the pleasure of seeing that day." 
 
 " What surprises me most of all ", said Fender, 
 " is that you so willingly go back to your old 
 occupations, however menial they are, after you 
 have had some time at college, and often continue 
 them to the end of the curriculum. I have known 
 joiners work at their trade during the summer
 
 "DWELLERS OF THE FITFUL HEAD" 277 
 
 months with the greatest pleasure, so as to make as 
 much as would keep them at college, and many of 
 your countrymen are engaged in even much more 
 laborious occupations." 
 
 " It is our love of learning that does it. We are 
 not so fortunate as you in having many opportunities 
 for the employment of our talents, and are glad to 
 do anything to make a little money. You have 
 heard the story of the Greek professor who met one 
 of his best scholars acting the part of gillie to a 
 party on the hills." 
 
 " Or the other, who fished for the herrings he 
 used during the session." 
 
 " Or the one who was a stone-diker, and pored 
 over his Latin books when he had a spare minute." 
 
 " Or the ploughman who spent the summer 
 months in the arduous labours of a farm, and whose 
 hours of study would therefore be indeed few." 
 
 " In fact, the number may be increased to any 
 extent", said I, "and the lesson I draw from them 
 all and from your stories is that the Scotchman 
 will have knowledge, whatever difficulties may come 
 in the way. The impulse to this struggle for college 
 education is, of course, the grand system of open 
 competition for bursaries, and no better proof could 
 be brought forward for its efficiency. Just look 
 upon our quadrangle on a Competition day. You 
 will see Orcadians and Shetlanders; men from 
 Caithness, Ross, and Cromarty; stalwart High- 
 landers from the western islands and the western 
 counties; and young men from the favoured counties 
 of Inverness, Nairn, Elgin, Banff, and Aberdeen. 
 And from the south comes even the Sassenach to 
 try his skill with his old opponent the Gael in a 
 contest much more worthy of them both than those 
 in which they engaged in days of old. I say again,
 
 278 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 as I have said many a time before, our bursary 
 system is the best that could have been invented, 
 and, like Sancho Panza, I say, 'A blessing on the 
 man who invented bursaries ! ' " 
 
 "Hear, hear", cried Lockhart. "Three cheers 
 for Mac's speech. I think it is about the longest 
 and most sensible I ever heard him make. And as 
 none of the rest of our Highland friends seem in- 
 clined to favour us with autobiographic sketches, I 
 will take the liberty of rising and proposing a toast. 
 Therefore, gentlemen, before I do so, will you 
 kindly fill your glasses ; and, mind you, let us have 
 no heel-taps — clean, empty glasses, with their heels 
 in the air." Having refilled, he continued, " I rise 
 to propose the health of our illustrious host. To- 
 night his original idea has given me such a treat as 
 I have never before experienced. I have known, to 
 some extent, the pleasure of making others happy, 
 but our host will have the satisfaction of feeling that 
 he has made us all happy for many a day to come, 
 and broken down, to a very great extent, that barrier 
 of rank which often stands between man and man. 
 I, therefore, with the feelings of a brother, stretch 
 my hand across the table to my friend Alister, and 
 through him to all the rest, and give him the right 
 hand of fellowship now and for ever. I shall 
 endeavour to act towards him as a brother, and, if 
 we are all spared till another year, I invite him and 
 his companions to a supper party such as this, on 
 the Saturday of Bursary week." (" Hear, hear.") 
 " May we all be spared till then ! Now, gentlemen, 
 let me again propose the health of our illustrious host. 
 May his kindness of heart never leave him, and may he 
 always find as thankful guests as he has now. Mac's 
 health, gentlemen, and no heel-taps ! " and draining 
 their glasses they turned them upside down.
 
 ELDERS' HOURS 279 
 
 When the noise had subsided, I thanked them for 
 their kindness, and hoped that the good fellowship 
 which had been commenced that night might be 
 continued through life. " The more man knows of 
 his fellow-man the more will he treat him as a 
 brother. The great curse of past generations has 
 been that there has existed such a gulf between 
 class and class that one would suppose they could 
 not have had originally the same progenitor — Father 
 Adam. We would find more friends among the 
 students if we would search for them, and let our 
 selection be guided by talent, and not by position 
 in society. And when we have found them, let us 
 keep them, so that they may be as sunny memories 
 of the past to us. We can ill afford to lose any of 
 our friends in our journey through life, and I hope 
 that those friendships made to-night may last for 
 life, and that the pleasant evening we have spent 
 may be remembered by us for many years. I can 
 assure you that I have experienced intense pleasure 
 in having you all here, and I hope that you have 
 done the same. I see the clock warns us that the 
 hours of another Sabbath are approaching. So, 
 gentlemen, with your permission, we shall conclude 
 the evening's enjoyment by singing 'Auld Lang 
 Syne'." And so, standing up round the table, hand 
 linked in hand, we sang the strains of that song 
 which has thrilled the memory chords of many a 
 Scotchman's heart in far distant lands. This done, 
 we bade each other " Good night ", and went to our 
 respective homes.
 
 CHAPTER XXIV 
 
 Shon Campbell went to college, 
 
 The pulpit was his aim ; 
 By day and night he ground, for he 
 
 Was Hielan', dour, and game. 
 The session was a hard one, 
 
 Shon flickered like a flame. 
 
 — \'V. A. MacKenzie : 
 Alma Mater, 9th May, 1S94. 
 
 In the course of our narrative we have several times 
 had occasion to notice that, owing to the general 
 desire for the highest education and the facilities 
 afforded by our excellent bursary system, many of 
 the students attending the University belonged to 
 the artisan and labouring classes, and that these not 
 unfrequently proved themselves more than a match 
 for those belonging to higher grades in the social 
 scale. Perhaps no better specimen of these suc- 
 cessful aspirants could be given than Robert 
 Macleod, and, as a somewhat melancholy interest 
 is connected with his history, we here introduce his 
 name and honour his memorj^ by paying a passing 
 tribute to his worth. Robert Macleod belonged to 
 the same parish as my cousin, and, indeed, for some 
 time resided under the same roof. His parents and 
 friends were very poor, and from his earliest years 
 he had been a son of toil. He was shy and 
 shrinking, even to a fault, but possessed a spirit so 
 independent that it might easily have been mistaken 
 for pride. Manly in form and noble in mind, he was
 
 SHIFTING "DIGS" 281 
 
 a general favourite, and much esteemed by those 
 whose good opinion was most to be desired. The 
 manifestation of an honourable and not unreturned 
 affection for a young lad}', much his superior in 
 worldly station, exposed him to some bitterly 
 reproachful words from one of her relatives. 
 Hence he became still more shy and independent, 
 and resolved still more firmly to raise himself out 
 of his humble condition. Through much privation 
 and perseverance, and by means of his own good 
 talents and a little assistance from my cousin, he 
 was able to secure a bursary. With his foot once 
 upon the academic ladder, he rapidly made the 
 ascent ; but penury and incessant toil had under- 
 mined his bodily health, and it soon became 
 evident to all that the laurels he had won he would 
 never live to wear. With the utmost delicacy, 
 some comforts had from time to time been placed 
 within his reach, by my cousin and one or two 
 female friends; but, towards the close of his last 
 session, it seemed absolutely necessary that he should 
 be removed to better lodgings, subjected to better 
 nursing, and treated to better fare, if his life were to 
 be prolonged even for a few months. His medical 
 adviser was consulted, and the requisite arrange- 
 ments made ; but the removal of poor Macleod 
 turned out a much more difficult matter than was at 
 iirst anticipated. The doctor mooted the subject one 
 night, but met with a decided refusal. He said 
 nothing further at the time, but allowed what he had 
 said to have some impression upon him, strengthening 
 this by occasional remarks on the deleterious effects 
 upon the constitution of rooms improperlj^ aired 
 and situated near the roof. Macleod, however, 
 would take no hint, and the Doctor began to fear that 
 he was not to gain his point so easily as he had at
 
 282 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 first imagined. Three days after the first hint, he 
 again mentioned the subject, and met with as decided 
 a refusal as before. But this only acted as a stronger 
 impulse to him. He saw that there was some strong 
 reason for his refusal, and he determined to over- 
 come it at whatever cost. 
 
 " The fact is ", said he, " I must have you out of 
 this place, else I will not ensure your life much 
 longer." 
 
 I do not think there is more danger of it here 
 than anywhere else." 
 
 " I tell you there is. If a man is determined to 
 commit suicide, it is the duty of those who are near 
 to prevent him. And I mean to do so." 
 
 But I do not see that I am doing so." 
 
 " That's the way with all patients. They never 
 see that there is anything the matter with themselves, 
 when others see them dying. Now, look you here, 
 I will have you out of this whether you are willing or 
 not. I do not want to pry into your secrets, or to 
 try to find out your reasons for remaining in this 
 abominable garret. All I know is, that I have found 
 better rooms for you at the same price, and that your 
 landlady will be willing to let you go." 
 
 " You have, then, been prying into my secrets." 
 I have not ", said the doctor, rather sharply. 
 I, from past experience, know pretty well what this 
 place costs you, and I know that the kind heart of 
 your landlady will not refuse to forgo this." 
 
 " But I do not intend to ask her." 
 
 " I never said you did. I shall do the whole 
 of that, and you will and must remain a passive 
 agent." 
 
 " I will do no such thing. In this place I will 
 remain for the rest of the session. It is not very 
 long now."
 
 UNDER SEALED ORDERS 283 
 
 " True, but the most important part of it has 
 yet to come — the examinations. Now, you may care 
 little for these ", said the doctor, with a sly glance 
 at his companion, " but I do, and if you wish to have 
 yourself in proper condition for them, and if you 
 have any desire to carry off the Mathematical and 
 Natural Philosophy prizes you must attend a little 
 more closely to my orders." 
 
 This seemed to stagger him a little. After a 
 pause, he said, " I have managed it here before, and 
 I do not see why I should not do it again." 
 
 But I do. You have had a very serious attack 
 of haemorrhage of the lungs, and a disregard of my 
 orders might be attended with serious results." 
 
 " I do not think it is quite so bad as that." 
 
 " You are quite welcome to think of it as you 
 please. I know the state of matters, and that is 
 sufficient." 
 
 But you are not aware that it is impossible for 
 me to leave this place. I must remain here." 
 
 " There is no must when your life is in the 
 balance." 
 
 But I tell you there is, and you do not know it." 
 I have told you already I do not want to pry 
 into your private matters. Keep them to yourself, 
 but obey my orders." 
 
 But I assure you I cannot do so without 
 seriously injuring myself." 
 
 " You injure yourself more by remaining here." 
 But you do not understand." 
 I do not want to understand. Your rooms are 
 waiting for you, and I would advise you to prepare 
 for a removal at once, as the longer you delay the 
 more you will have to pay, for, after to-morrow, you 
 will have both rooms to pay for", and the doctor 
 watched him through the corner of his eyes.
 
 284 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 But this was taking a liberty with me to which 
 you had no right ", said he, pulHng himself up to his 
 full height and looking indignant. " I never com- 
 missioned you to do so." 
 
 I know that, and, what is more, knew that you 
 would never do so, and therefore did it of my own 
 accord. Had I waited until you had told me, I should 
 have had to wait till doomsday." 
 
 But I do not like this way of going to work", 
 said he, looking up into the face of the doctor, which 
 was stern and fierce. 
 
 " I don't care whether you do or not. You know 
 as well as I that when people are incapable of looking 
 after things themselves, other people have to do it. 
 Now, you could not look out for lodgings, and so 
 I did." A pause. " I can assure you they did not 
 cost me much trouble, so you need not be cudgelling 
 your brains to find out how many hours I have spent 
 in the search. They came unasked, and are the vevy 
 thing I wanted." Another pause. " I am perfectly 
 certain that you will like them, and that they will 
 do you a great deal of good. They are light and 
 airy, and will be a very great assistance to you in 
 the preparation for the examinations." 
 
 " Where are they? " 
 
 " In Silver Street." 
 
 "Where?" inquired he, pricking up his ears. 
 In Silver Street", replied the doctor, as uncon- 
 cerned as possible, but certain that he suspected 
 something. 
 
 " And what number, may I ask?" 
 Really, I cannot tell, but, as far as I can judge, 
 it is about the middle of the street." 
 
 I see it all. You want me to live on the charity 
 of another", and he rested his head on his hand 
 and looked intently on the floor.
 
 FALSE PRIDE 285 
 
 " You judge me verj^ harshly, I must say. Have 
 you such a mean opinion of me as to think that I 
 would be guilty of such an action? I hope I have as 
 much respect for myself, and you, as to be above it, 
 and must say that you are very ungenerous even to 
 mention it ", and the doctor in his pretended indig- 
 nation rose and paced about the room. 
 
 " Forgive me ", said Macleod, after a pause, and 
 in an altered tone, " I so far forgot myself as to 
 be ungentlemanly and to overlook the many acts of 
 kindness which you have shown me. But you know 
 not how it cuts me to the quick when I think that I 
 have been indebted to anyone. I wish to stand alone, 
 and to push myself through the world by my own 
 exertions." 
 
 " Which you cannot do. That doctrine is the 
 most foolish and injurious that could be fostered in 
 the mind of any man, and in no class is it so 
 predominant as among students. Why, what are you 
 made of more than the rest of mankind that you 
 should stand by yourself, and look down upon all the 
 rest of creation ? Are you any better than we — than 
 all the people, rich and poor, who would stretch out 
 a helping hand to pass you over your difficulties? I can 
 assure you, you are labouring under a great delusion 
 when you think you are thus acting independently. 
 Every member of society is so bound to the other 
 and all the rest that he cannot stand like a single 
 unit, unaffected and unaffecting others. It is an idea 
 only to be found in the brains of such young men as 
 you, whose pride is often their ruin." 
 
 " But I have been too much indebted to that party 
 already, and I do not want to be so any more." 
 
 " O, you want to make your condition known 
 to others, do you?" A wince. "Very v/ell, you 
 can do so; but I must say it does not show a very
 
 286 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 independent spirit." Another wince. " Of all the 
 young men I have met, he has the tenderest heart, of 
 which you have had experience." Another wince. 
 " With him, and under his care, you would be sure to 
 get better, and soon be fit for work. I only wish I 
 had had such an offer when I was at college. I am 
 certain I would not have refused it, though I believe 
 I had a good deal of that false independence with a 
 superabundance of which you are blessed. Besides, 
 are you such a boor that you do not feel the least 
 gratitude to those young ladies for taking such an 
 interest in you ? I really thought you had more of 
 the gentleman in you." 
 
 " It's not that, sir; it's not that." 
 
 " Well, then, what is it?" 
 
 " Another thing altogether." 
 
 " Well, what is that other thing? Pride, abominable 
 pride! Why, there is nothing in the world that does 
 us so much harm as this false pride, which bristles 
 up its back every time it sees anyone from real 
 kindness of heart try to do a good action to another. 
 It is enough to destroy all charity, all love towards 
 one's neighbours ; which, I believe, is one of the 
 things strongly inculcated in the Bible." 
 
 " You look at it in a wrong light." 
 
 " No ; I do not. It is you who do that. Do you 
 not give me credit for knowing a little more of the 
 world than you — of having seen more of the ways of 
 men ? Now, I have seen manj^ of the same way of 
 thinking as you, and after years of mingling with 
 the world, they have learned that this solitary style 
 of theirs was a curse rather than a blessing. Many 
 a one has said so to me, and I have felt it in my own 
 experience ; and it can hardly be othenvise in the 
 like of you. Here you sit in your study, with no 
 companion but your books, knowing nothing of the
 
 "MANNERS MAKETH MAN" 287 
 
 outer world or of the amenities which help to make 
 up the gentleman. Everything is done by your 
 own exertions, and you come to think that there is 
 nobody in the world like you. It is nothing but 
 conceit — abominable conceit, sir", and the doctor 
 fumed in his ire. 
 
 " That is a rather hard name for it." 
 
 " It is no such thing. Look what it produces. 
 Does it not make men and ministers that are not fit 
 to mingle in respectable society. They get so bound 
 up in their books, and so forgetful of the outer world, 
 that when they come into society they make such 
 figures and look so awkward that everybody wishes 
 them out of it. They are not only uncomfortable them- 
 selves, but they make others uncomfortable also." 
 
 " That is rather severe. You do not find this 
 always the case." 
 
 " True; but look around j'ou and you will see that 
 I am not very far wrong. Trace it back to its source 
 and you will find that I am right. You get so 
 immersed in your books and your study that you look 
 upon the claims of society as nil. This is wrong: 
 every clergyman, you know, ought to be a gentleman." 
 
 "And so he is, for his education makes him so." 
 
 "Ay, there's your false reasoning. Education 
 may, and does make a gentleman, but only if the 
 person getting it learns also to behave himself like a 
 gentleman. Would you call that man a gentleman 
 who did not know how to conduct himself in society ? " 
 
 " Certainly not." 
 
 " Well, you know as well as I do that the majority 
 of you students, and of course our future ministers, 
 look like fish out of the water when asked to break- 
 fast or dine with your professors or any of your 
 betters. You know also that the blunders made are 
 retailed and laughed at for many a day afterwards.
 
 28S LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 But let these alone just now. I intend being this way 
 in the afternoon, and will take you down in my 
 carriage to your new quarters." 
 
 " O, but I must think a little about it first." 
 Pride, abominable pride, again ! I will not allow 
 any such thing. You must at once obey my 
 orders, and if you are not very refractory you will 
 not find me a hard taskmaster. As to your fellow- 
 lodger — I do not say friend, for he has proved to be 
 that long ago — I would advise you to get over any 
 feeling against him as soon as possible. It is very 
 ungenerous, and unworthy of a gentleman. You will 
 find him the very best companion for you — ^lively, 
 frank, and generous to a fault. Cultivate his acquaint- 
 anceship and that of his family, and do not refuse 
 any of the dainties they send you, for they will do 
 you more good than anything else. And try, once for 
 all, to get over that foolish pride which helps to mar 
 so many fine men. Contact with the world — a world 
 somewhat higher than yourself — will soon do away 
 with this, though it is an enemy that fights long and 
 bravely. And now I must be off. Good morning ! 
 Be ready at four o'clock, and I'll be at the door. Pack 
 up all your books and articles of value, and we will 
 send some one for them afterwards. Good morning ! 
 and remember the lecture", and the doctor was gone. 
 
 That afternoon Macleod was installed in his new 
 quarters, much to the satisfaction of the doctor and 
 my cousin, though not of himself. He seemed to feel 
 that he had been shorn of his independence, and that 
 therefore he had some reason for being sulky. But 
 my cousin, glad and proud of having him in his 
 rooms, paid no attention to his coldness of manner, 
 assured that in time it would wear off. He did not, 
 however, allow himself to be settled there without a 
 strong protest.
 
 FALLING PRIDE 289 
 
 " You must know", said he, "that it is very much 
 against my will that I came here. I hate to intrude 
 upon the privacy of anyone's rooms." 
 
 " You are by no means intruding upon mine. You, 
 of all men, are most welcome." 
 
 " Thank you ", said he, stiffly. " It was the doctor 
 that forced me — in fact, brought me here against my 
 will. On him be the blame." 
 
 " I certainly place it on his shoulders, not on yours. 
 But no doubt the change will be for your good." 
 
 " Perhaps so, I liked my old garret better than 
 I'll like any other place, and I am sorry to leave it. 
 Besides, these rooms are too fine and expensive for 
 one in my position." 
 
 As to the fineness, that is a matter of opinion ; 
 and the expense must be something like what you 
 have been accustomed to. But the doctor will 
 explain all that to you." 
 
 " I shall most certainly see about it at once, and 
 if they are much the same as mine, I must have been 
 cheated, or the doctor, you, and your landlady have 
 formed a conspiracy to cheat me." 
 
 Some days afterwards my cousin was surprised 
 by his saying, " I suppose you all think me a dreadful 
 boor, a very ungrateful and thankless fellow, without 
 the slightest spark of gratitude in his soul. If you 
 do, you are as much mistaken in me as I have been 
 in you." 
 
 " I can assure you I never had such a thought in 
 my head." 
 
 " I feel just now as if the ice were melting away 
 from under me, and that the whole fabric of my inde- 
 pendence is being undermined and brought to the 
 ground. Would not you, when you saw your pet 
 scheme crumbling to ruins, become angry? " 
 
 " I am sure I would." 
 20
 
 290 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " Well then, I am. I say to myself, now and then, 
 that they have no right to use me thus ; they have no 
 claim to make me leave my garret, and take up 
 comfortable quarters here ; they have no right to try 
 to make me better." 
 
 " You are rather hard on yourself, I think." 
 
 " Thus do I reason in my pride ", continued he, not 
 heeding the interruption, " forgetting that even the 
 simple law of kindness condemns me, and that the 
 higher law of God, love to our neighbour, most 
 assuredly orders us to treat our neighbours as our- 
 selves. I should think that is a very hard thing to do." 
 
 " Rather." 
 
 " We students in general are a set of boors ", said 
 he abruptlj% after a pause. 
 
 " Not so bad as that, I hope. We are rough, but 
 in many cases we do not mean it. Man, generally, is 
 like a piece of rock broken off from the parent mass. 
 He has sharp angular points which are noticeable 
 and keen. Contact with the world and mingling 
 among his own species are like the waves of the 
 ocean, which rub down the rough angularities and 
 make him smooth and presentable. You cannot 
 smooth a man in solitude or in the precincts of his 
 study. There he rubs against nothing but self; and 
 so a rough diamond he will remain till he meet with 
 others who will polish him." 
 
 " But we consider that as so much time wasted." 
 
 "Just so; and that's where I find fault with the 
 most of you hard-working students. You think the 
 pursuits of others so trifling as to deserve no notice, 
 and to be beneath the dignity of a scholar. You have 
 no consideration for the feelings and the ways of 
 those different from you. It is a great mistake. 
 Many are as truly fulfilling their end in life, the duty 
 God has set before them, as you, bending over your
 
 MANUFACTURED MINISTERS 291 
 
 midnight oil. The despised of earth are often the 
 most admired in heaven. The most of us, from the 
 fact of our positions being made by our own exer- 
 tions, are full of pride, self-esteem, and a too ready 
 desire to form hasty opinions regarding others 
 differently situated from ourselves." 
 
 "That was just what the doctor was saying the 
 other day." 
 
 I am glad to hear he is of my opinion. Mine 
 I have gathered from what I see around me ; for 
 though I am a student, and proud of the honour, yet 
 I am not altogether blind to the faults common in 
 student life." 
 
 " One of these is gracelessness. You will not find 
 a dozen among us who really look upon their future 
 in life in a serious and proper light." 
 
 I am afraid you are correct there." 
 
 Look at me: I started in life with the deter- 
 mination to get to college for the purpose of, some 
 time in the future, preaching to my fellow-men. 
 During all these years I have been here I have 
 seldom thought of the great responsibility of my 
 future profession, and, except as regards my college 
 work, made no preparation for it. I thought it was 
 time enough to think of that when I came to the 
 Divinity classes." 
 
 I am afraid we must trace this to our system of 
 education, to the fact that young men are made 
 ministers, instead of being allowed to follow the bent 
 of their own inclinations." 
 
 But mine was a spontaneous choice." 
 " True, and on that account yours is a peculiar 
 case. I think all the rest will be traceable to that 
 craving which every Scotch father has to see his son 
 * wag his pow in a poopit'. They send them to college 
 whether or not they have any special aptitude or
 
 292 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 ' calling ' for the office of the ministry, and hence the 
 fact of your having so many who do not trouble 
 themselves about the spiritual welfare of the masses. 
 They look upon the profession of a minister in exactly 
 the same light as the world does upon the profes- 
 sions of Law and Medicine — a source or means of 
 livelihood." 
 
 " But the Church, at least in Scotland, can never 
 be put in comparison with the professions of Law 
 and Medicine as a means of income." 
 
 No, most certainly not ; but it has a position 
 which neither of these has, and which is particularly 
 pleasing to the Scottish mind." 
 
 " O, yes; there is no doubt we are a priest-ridden 
 people — a people afraid of our parsons." 
 
 " There is no great harm in that, I think, provided 
 they are not blind leaders of the blind." 
 
 " But I am afraid there are a good many of 
 these, for we do not find very many great men 
 among them at present. There were far more in a 
 past generation." 
 
 " Don't you think we are apt to disparage the 
 present and overrate the past? Not that I think 
 we can overrate such men as made this town famous 
 in the end of the last century. They were great, and 
 will ever remain so." 
 
 " But I find, among ministers of the present day, 
 so much narrow-mindedness and bigotry that it 
 almost drives one from the profession." 
 
 " No doubt the old were the same, even those 
 very men whose fame has shed a halo of glory 
 around our University. I am afraid that in this they 
 are too like students generally ", said my cousin 
 smiling : " unwilling to believe there is anything 
 worth thinking about out of their own circle. The 
 boy is father of the man. It is not to be expected
 
 ROUGH DIAMONDS 293 
 
 that men altogether free from prejudice could be 
 manufactured out of the materials which we have 
 here every year. Our specimens are generally of the 
 rough diamond sort." 
 
 " No doubt : but the real, genuine, unsophisti- 
 cated article, fit to be polished into the finest 
 Koh-i-noor." 
 
 " Perhaps so, but I am sorry to say that we do 
 not often come upon them in their clear and polished 
 state." 
 
 " I think 3'ou are prejudiced against them, and 
 speak rather severely. In our own college, and 
 among the graduates, you will find a number of 
 specimens which will bear a favourable comparison 
 with those of any other university. It has to be 
 remembered that we have a greater proportion 
 of students from the lower ranks than any other. 
 But, after all, the annals of our college will not 
 disgrace us." 
 
 By no means, nor do I wish even to insinuate 
 such a thing. It is our glory and boast that we have 
 done for the poor man what other universities have 
 done for the rich and titled. But there is an ease 
 and polish which one brought up from his youth in the 
 best society always has, and which we, let us be ever 
 so careful, can never acquire. It is this I refer to, 
 and this that we want." 
 
 " It is a refinement which I do not particularly 
 desire, and which, I think, I can do without." 
 
 Perhaps so, but it is well that all are not of the 
 same opinion. Like our education, it is easily 
 carried about with us, and never offends, like the 
 opposite."
 
 CHAPTER XXV 
 
 There was a sound of revelry by night : 
 
 On with the dance ! let joy be unconfin'd. 
 
 —Byron: '' CJiiUe Harold '\ III, xxi. 
 
 " I SAY, coz, did you ever hear the story of the 
 Professor of Signs ? " 
 
 " No, never. What is it about ? Did he belong 
 to our college? " 
 
 " So they say, but I cannot tell you anything 
 about him. I heard a joke at his expense yesterday 
 in the classroom, and, as it created very much 
 merriment, I was anxious to know the particulars." 
 
 " I'll wager any money Lockhart will know it. 
 He's quite an authority as regards college matters. 
 Let us go and see him and get the story. I hope 
 he will not be out, for precious few students are 
 found in their cribs on Saturday evening." 
 
 " Let us go at once, then, before it be too late." 
 
 Acting upon this suggestion we went forth, bent 
 our steps to his quarters, and were fortunate enough 
 to find him in. 
 
 " Just about to absquatulate, my friends. Five 
 minutes longer and you would have found the bird 
 flown." 
 
 " We were afraid of that, and were the more 
 anxious, because we came to consult you about 
 something." 
 
 " Nothing serious or heavy I hope, for I hate to
 
 A SPANISH AMBASSADOR 295 
 
 think of anything of that kind on a Saturday. My 
 week's work is over, and I hke to feel at ease," 
 
 " No, no ; it's by no means of a heavy nature, 
 and is entirelj" in your line. Something antiquarian, 
 I believe. But I'll let Mac speak for himself." 
 
 "Well, Mac, what is it?" 
 
 " I heard a joke yesterday about the Professor of 
 Signs, which created a great deal of laughter, but 
 which I could get nobody to explain properly. They 
 enjoyed the joke, though they could not give a 
 reason for it." 
 
 " Ah, I see. Too often the case in this world —   
 the multitude follow the few, particularly if the few 
 are of any note. I think, however, I can give you 
 full particulars, which may perhaps clear up the 
 joke to you. It is said to have taken place in the 
 reign of James VI. of Scotland, and shortly after he 
 had removed to London to fill the seat of his 
 illustrious predecessor, Elizabeth. The Spanish 
 Ambassador — a man of great learning, but,- like 
 many others, ' vvi' a bee in his bonnet ' — had the idea 
 that in every university there should be a Professor 
 of Signs, whose duty should be the making men of 
 various countries to understand each other bj' signs, 
 thus doing away with the tedious and laborious 
 process of learning different languages. This would 
 be very nice, I must say, and would save us poor 
 mortals a good deal of labour." 
 
 " There would be no grinding needed then. That 
 would suit Fender to a T." 
 
 " And many another one, too. In fact, it would 
 be jolly. Just think of sitting opposite to 'George', 
 Fuller, or ' Davie ', and understanding everything at 
 once from their motions, or just, as it were, from 
 ' the turn of the wrist '. What a saving that would 
 be of the midnight oil."
 
 296 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " It is too good to be true." 
 
 " Don't condemn the Professor, or rather the 
 Ambassador, unheard. Wait till you hear the whole 
 of the story, and then pass your judgment." 
 
 " Well, go on, old fellow." 
 
 " As I was saying, the Ambassador had this 
 crotchet, and used to pester everybody with it. One 
 day he was lamenting to the King this great and 
 important deficiency in our university education, 
 declaring that he could not understand how it should 
 have been so long overlooked. The King, who was 
 as fond of a joke as he was of cock-a-leekie, said 
 that he laboured under a very great mistake in 
 supposing that this important branch of education 
 had been entirely forgotten in this country, for in 
 the most northerly of all his universities there was a 
 Professor of Signs, whose fame was very great." 
 
 " ' And where may that be ? ' inquired the 
 Ambassador. 
 
 " ' At Aberdeen, some six hundred miles off, and 
 too far for you to travel.' 
 
 " 'Though it were ten thousand leagues off I'll go 
 and see him, and prove the truth of his fame. Such 
 a man is not to be found every day, and I will at once 
 set out for this place, however remote it may be.' 
 
 "The King, seeing he had 'put his foot in it', as we 
 say, and finding he could not very well back out, wrote 
 to the Principal of our University an account of the 
 matter, advising him of the Ambassador's coming, and 
 desiring the professors to put him off the best way 
 they could. The Ambassador arrived almost at the 
 same time as the letter, and presented himself at the 
 University before they had concocted any plan. As 
 it happened to be the college recess, the professors 
 thought to put him off by saying that the Professor 
 of Signs had gone to the Highlands, and that it was
 
 A PROFESSORIAL BUTCHER 297 
 
 perfectly impossible for them to say when he would 
 return. The Ambassador assured them that, having 
 come so far, he was willing to wait any length of 
 time to see this extraordinary person, whose fame 
 had extended so far as London. He would therefore 
 do them the honour of staying until such time as the 
 Professor should return, and, after the interview, 
 depart, carrying the account of the place and the 
 Professor to his native country. 
 
 " Seeing that he would remain so long, and cost 
 them so much money, they managed to contrive a 
 plan by which they gratified, as well as got rid of, their 
 enforced guest. There was a ' souter ', some say a 
 butcher, named Geordie, who lived in the Old Town, 
 blind of an eye, noted for his waggery and quickness 
 of repartee. One of the professors, meeting him, 
 explained the dilemma in which they were placed, 
 and said that they did not know what to do. 
 Geordie, ready for any sort of fun, declared that if 
 they would entrust the matter to him, he would 
 undertake to send the Ambassador away pleased 
 with his visit, and brimful of information, to his 
 native country. 
 
 " At their wits' end, and glad of any opportunity 
 of sending their guest away, they granted Geordie's 
 request, particularly enjoining him not to speak, 
 as that would be sure to spoil the whole matter. 
 Dressed in professorial robes and a flowing wig, 
 Geordie was placed in a chair of state in one of the 
 rooms of the college, adjoining which was the 
 reception-room, into which the Ambassador was 
 ushered. He hurriedly entered, declaring that he 
 was delighted to hear that the Professor had unex- 
 pectedly arrived from the Highlands, and that he 
 hoped that an interview might be granted him 
 immediately. The professors, after some remarks
 
 29S LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 of a general nature, informed him that the Professor 
 of Signs was in the adjoining room waiting his 
 appearance. The Ambassador, entering, walked up 
 and took a keen survey of Geordie's features, which 
 he bore with the greatest equanimity. Suddenly he 
 shoved one of his hands into his pocket, and 
 producing an orange held it up to the bright eye of 
 Geordie. The ' souter ', nothing daunted, thrust his 
 hand into the pocket of his coat and produced a 
 piece of oaten cake, which he held up to the 
 surprised and delighted Ambassador. While they 
 were thus gazing at each other, the Ambassador, 
 replacing the orange in his pocket, held up one 
 finger, on which Geordie held up two. The 
 Ambassador then held up three, on which Geordie 
 clenched his hand and held it sternly in the air. On 
 seeing this, the Ambassador smiled in a most 
 gratified manner, bowed most profoundly, and left 
 the presence of the pretended professor. 
 
 " On entering the room where the professors 
 were anxiously awaiting his return, he held up his 
 hands and declared that their Professor of Signs 
 was a perfect miracle, and worthy of having come 
 much further to see. 'When I entered the room', 
 said he, ' and looked carefully at him, I drew from 
 my pocket an orange and held it up before him, 
 signifying the richness of the country from which I 
 came. He promptly put his hand into his pocket 
 and drew forth a piece of oaten cake, showing me 
 that his country was better than mine, for it 
 produced bread, the staff of life. I then held up one 
 finger, meaning that there was only one God. He 
 held up two, showing that there were two persons 
 in the Godhead. I held up three, meaning that there 
 were three persons in the Godhead. He clenched 
 his hand to show that the three were one.'
 
 CROSS PURPOSES 299 
 
 " On the departure of the Ambassador, dehghted 
 with his interview, Geordie was called in to give his 
 version of the story. ' The scamp ', said Geordie, 
 very indignantly, ' fat dee ye think did he dee ? 
 He cam' forret an' stared in my face as gin I hid been 
 a forren loon like himsel'. Aifter this piece o' 
 impidence he shoved his han' intil his pooch, an' 
 pu'in' oot an orange held it up afore me, as much as 
 to say, " Yer peer country canna produce that ! " I 
 shoved my ban' intil my pooch, an' pu'd oot a daud 
 o' oat cake an' held it up, daurin' him to show 
 onything like that. Then, fat dee ye think did the 
 rascal dee? He held up ae finger, meanin' that I hid 
 only ae e'e. I held up twa, meanin' that be hid only 
 twa. He then held up three, meanin' that there was 
 only three atween's. I then clenched my ban', an' wis 
 in sic a rage that gin he hidna gaen oot o' the room 
 pretty quick I wid bae knocket oot baith his blinkers.'" 
 
 My cousin and I laughed heartily at Geordie's 
 rendering of the Ambassador's signs, and then I said, 
 " So much for two ways of reading a story. Many 
 things are often done in the same way. Mistakes are 
 generally made through people misunderstanding one 
 another, or playing at cross purposes." 
 
 " Yes, you remember what Burns says — 
 
 O wad some Power the giftie gic us 
 To see oursel as ithers see us ! 
 It wad frae mony a blunder free us, 
 An' foolish notion. 
 
 Had the Ambassador known that there was such a 
 different rendering of his signs, and that the 
 professors and Geordie were laughing heartily at the 
 way in which they had played upon bis favourite 
 foible, he would not have departed so well pleased 
 with himself and with his visit to the pretended 
 Professor of Signs."
 
 300 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " No doubt King James would laugh heartily at 
 it, too." 
 
 That is, if he ever heard of it ", said my cousin. 
 For my part, I believe it may be traced to some 
 wag who wanted to concoct a good story about the 
 professors." 
 
 "O, yes; that's your way always", said Lockhart: 
 " throwing doubt upon matters that have been most 
 assuredly believed among us students for centuries. 
 You ought to be ashamed of yourself." 
 
 " Yes, he ought ", replied I. 
 For my part, I believe every word of it ", con- 
 tinued Lockhart, with a queer twinkle in his eye. 
 " And now, when you have obtained all your informa- 
 tion, what do you intend doing?" 
 
 " Going for a stroll, I suppose." 
 By the way ", said Lockhart, " what do you say 
 to go to the ' Lobby'?" 
 
 "What is that?" inquired L 
 Hear him again ! I don't think you will ever 
 get over your greenness or Bajeantdom. Don't you 
 know the ' Lobby ' ? " 
 
 No, I do not, though it seems I ought to be 
 ashamed to say it." 
 
 " You ought, my boy, for every student at your 
 Alma Mater is expected to be a member of it. 
 Come along to Fender's, and I will tell you all about 
 it as we go. I promised to call there and go with 
 him, for I believe there is to be some fun to-night." 
 
 We went out and soon arrived at Fender's. He 
 was ready, waiting for us, and so we set out for that 
 old place, arm-in-arm, as students generally go. It 
 was a clear, frosty night, the stars shining brightly 
 from the deep blue of heaven, the crescent moon 
 slowly rising and dimming the light of the weaker con- 
 stellations. The ground, feeling the frost, crunched
 
 THE "LOBBY" 301 
 
 beneath our feet as we paced along with Hght steps 
 and joyous hearts to the old spot that was associated 
 with so many sunny memories. As we began to 
 leave the houses and the more crowded streets, I said 
 to Lockhart, " Now let me have your account of the 
 ' Lobby ' ". 
 
 But, seriously", said he, "do you know nothing 
 about it?" 
 
 " Not a thing. You must remember that, though 
 I am fond of fun, I am not one that enters into it 
 indiscriminately or with anyone that I meet. I may 
 be free and easy with you and the rest of our friends, 
 but I am reserved with strangers. Besides, I have 
 a wholesome fear of students' pranks." 
 
 But there is nothing of the kind here. It is 
 real, good, innocent fun, and first-class fun, too." 
 It is curious I had not heard of it before." 
 
 " Rather, but it is to be attributed to your keeping 
 yourself so much by yourself. However, 3'ou will be 
 initiated into the mysteries to-night, and if you don't 
 enjoy them I will be very much surprised," 
 
 "And, pray, what is it? " 
 
 " Nothing else but a dancing school, presided over 
 by nobody, or, more properly speaking, by the elder 
 students, with John Ross as fiddler." 
 
 "A dancing school ! " cried I, in surprise. 
 
 " Well, properly speaking, a dancing party among 
 the students themselves, for you must know that no 
 ladies are allowed to enter its sacred precincts, unless 
 they are smuggled in by some means unknown to the 
 sacrist." 
 
 It is the first time I ever heard of a dancing 
 party without ladies. It seems to be a perfect 
 anomaly." 
 
 " So it would have been anywhere else but among 
 students, fond of music and dancing. It has thriven
 
 302 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 for hundreds of j^earsyand is not likely soon to die a 
 natural death. How it originated is lost amid the 
 mists of antiquity, but one chronicler — whose name 
 I at present forget — says that the great founder of 
 our University, being fond of the same amusement 
 in his youth, and finding it an excellent counteractive 
 to the evils produced by prolonged sedentary habits, 
 insisted that the students should, once a week, devote 
 one hour to this pastime. Others declare — but it is 
 needless to inform you that they are those who are 
 opposed to all innocent amusements — that it is a 
 relic of old, pagan mythology, and that it can be 
 traced to the dancing at the festivals of the god 
 Bacchus. I am afraid that this idea must have 
 arisen from the fact that a number of the students, 
 after the party is over, meet together and pour out 
 copious libations to that heathen deity." 
 
 " There is no doubt in my mind that this is the 
 real cause of that idea." 
 
 " There is not much expense connected with it, 
 the annual subscription being only one shilling, which 
 is expended on candles, and John Ross, the fiddler, 
 already mentioned. The room we, of course, receive 
 for nothing, it having been expressly stipulated bj^ the 
 original founder that ' in all time coming the students 
 should have the use of the "Lobby", free, gratis, and 
 for nothing, for the healthful and pleasant recreation 
 of dancing '. I forget the original Latin, but it is 
 something to that effect." 
 
 I am afraid the ancient chronicler is a mere 
 myth of your own imagination." 
 
 " As I said before ", continued he, paying no 
 attention to my interruption, " none but students are 
 allowed to go there. Some may suppose from this 
 that the original founder must have had a grudge 
 against the fair sex, and in this manner vented his
 
 AN EYELESS EDEN 303 
 
 indignation against them. But from all the research 
 I have expended upon the matter I find that this is a 
 calumny upon him, and that he was an excellent 
 man, fond of his toddy, and by no means opposed to 
 the blandishments of the fairer part of creation." 
 
 " Just so. Does your ancient chronicler specify 
 these facts ? " 
 
 " I, therefore", said he, regardless of my question, 
 " had to look around for some other cause, and soon 
 discovered it in the ancient records connected with 
 this place. It was some old, strict, and cold-hearted 
 professor who caused the law to be passed, precluding 
 the appearance of any fair beauties within the 
 precincts of the ' Lobby '. But, between you and 
 me, they pretty often appear there, though in such a 
 guise that even the lynx-eyed sacrist cannot detect 
 them. And woe betide him if he dared to show his 
 face within the hallowed precincts of the ball-room!" 
 
 " I suppose he would not care about doing it a 
 second time? " 
 
 " I should think not. The threat of ' Downie ' 
 would be enough. But to proceed. I would not be 
 acting the part of a true chronicler did I not give you 
 another reason for the exclusion of the ladies not so 
 much to the credit of the students. In the records 
 I have mentioned, the presence of such were often 
 chronicled, and tradition says that the fairest beauties 
 of the Old Town, and also of the neighbouring 
 seaport — not to mention many of the professors' 
 daughters — graced the ' Lobby ' with their presence 
 and lighted up the dim walls with their brilliant eyes. 
 But on a sudden there comes a hiatus — and it is said 
 that this was caused by the extraordinary increase in 
 certain statistics for which this county is famous and 
 which I need not particularize here." 
 
 " All right, old boy, I understand."
 
 304 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " This was thought to give the death-blow to the 
 'Lobby'. But they were mistaken. Like Minerva, 
 who sprang from the head of Jupiter when it was 
 cleft, so the ram-reels sprang from the blow 
 which was thought to completely annihilate this 
 dancing party of the students. Since that time it 
 has been famous for them, and I hope will continue 
 to be for many years to come. They are peculiar to 
 us, and I think will please you. You can have no 
 idea how glorious it is to be whisked through the air 
 by an arm stronger than your own, and to hear the 
 loud shouts of the performers as they gesticulate in 
 their wild. Highland manner. You might consider it 
 a dull affair, but just wait a little, and your opinion 
 will be completely changed. But here we are at the 
 college gate, and you will soon be able to judge for 
 yourself." 
 
 We entered, passed under the archway, and stood 
 within the quadrangle. Turning to the right, we 
 walked under the colonnades, entered the door which 
 led to the Moral Philosophy classroom, and ascended 
 the stairs. Broken and w^orn were they, for many a 
 student's foot had trod them in the days when they 
 lived within the precincts of the college, and when 
 they mounted to their rooms which branched off on 
 either side. The banister creaked and groaned as 
 we occasionally came against it in the darkness, and 
 door after door of the silent rooms was thrown open 
 as we stumbled against them on the turns of the 
 stairs, out of which came cold, musty gusts of wind, 
 telling us of emptiness and dust. Through the 
 windows, which lighted the staircase, could be seen 
 the lamps of the Old Town and the bright glare which 
 surrounded the more modern and busier part. 
 Tumble after tumble we had, to the great amusement 
 of us all, but slowly and surely we made our way
 
 "REEL O' TULLOCH" 305 
 
 upwards, the exact spot of our search being made 
 known to us by a thundering noise which shook the 
 whole building. Higher and higher we climbed, 
 until we reached the very top of the building, and 
 then, leaning against the wall, we drew our breath 
 before opening the door and taking part in the 
 mysteries. 
 
 Fully recovered from our breathlessness, we 
 gently opened the door and entered. " Never till life 
 and memory perish " can we forget that sight, though 
 the whole of its features could not be taken in at one 
 glance owing to the dimness of the light. In the 
 centre of the room were a number of excited 
 students in the full swing of that famous dance, the 
 " Reel o' Tulloch ". Through its windings they went 
 with heart}' good-will, their hob-nailed brogues 
 coming down with all the force of a stalwart leg 
 upon the wooden floor and emitting a sound that 
 was almost deafening. To this must be added the 
 wild cries and " hoochs " of the dancers as thej^ 
 caught hold of each other's arms and swung round 
 in eddying circles that almost seemed to mock the 
 eye to follow. Again and again was this done, the 
 hob-nailed boots coming down every now and then 
 more tiercel}^ on the floor, and the fun becoming 
 more fast and furious as John Ross quickened the 
 music and approached the end. And, as he drew a 
 final stroke across the fiddle-strings, the deafening 
 noise suddenly ceased, and the dancers took their 
 seats, some leading their partners in mock gentility 
 to their places and retiring with a most elaborate 
 bow, which elicited shouts of laughter. 
 
 Taking a seat, we looked around. At one end 
 
 was the orchestra, the only performer in which was 
 
 John Ross, than whom no better ever drew a bow. 
 
 Though so dim, you can easily perceive he is blind 
 
 21
 
 306 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 from the manner in which he moves his head and 
 rolls his eyes. And that music — those intermediate 
 pieces with which John used to regale us — could be 
 played only by one whose ear was quickened by the 
 loss of his eyesight. Dear old John, you have gone 
 the way of all the earth, and given place to others, 
 like that famous " Lobby " w^hich your presence and 
 fiddle so often graced and made hilarious ! Rough 
 benches were ranged round the room, on which the 
 students sat and chatted in the most free and easy 
 manner, altogether unlike the school of the real 
 dancing master. No doubt there was some master 
 of ceremonies, generally one of the Magistrands, but 
 the students seemed to take their cue from John 
 Ross, who, from long practice, could give them 
 exactly what they wanted. Even as he sits, the Celt 
 cannot keep his feet from moving and keeping time 
 to the music that comes from that most exciting of 
 all instruments, the fiddle, and in time all get to 
 follow, and there is an improvised and well-kept-up 
 beat of the feet as the music goes on. Suddenly it 
 changes into another reel, and there is a movement 
 among the students. Each rushes to the other, and 
 tries to get a partner and a place. I am suddenly 
 called to my senses by seeing Lockhart standing 
 before me, bowing in the most elaborate manner, 
 and requesting the favour of my company to the 
 next reel. 
 
 I rise, take the place of the lady, and before I 
 fully recover myself am in the full whirl of the 
 dance. Backwards and forwards, round and round 
 we go, thrashing the floor with our feet and trying 
 who could make the most noise, while every now 
 and then we would utter wild whoops not unworthy 
 of American Indians. Faster and faster goes the 
 music, faster and faster go the feet of the dancers,
 
 QUADRANGLE BY MOONLIGHT 307 
 
 the perspiration standing in beads on our brows or 
 streaming down our faces. But little we care for 
 that. On, on with the dance, is our cry. Let joy be 
 unconfined, for there is only one hour of it, and we 
 must take as much out of it as possible. And we 
 did, dancing wildly as only Highlanders can dance, 
 or those who do it from a spirit of downright 
 opposition. Perfectly breathless, I was handed 
 to my seat by Lockhart, who politely bowed his 
 adieus. 
 
 Another and another followed, and then came the 
 summons for departure. With one reel, danced 
 with the most tremendous noise, and yelling like 
 fiends, the " Lobby" closed, the greater part bursting 
 pell-mell from the room, making their way down- 
 stairs laughing, knocking, and tumbling over each 
 other. Taking it a little more leisurely, we descended, 
 holding aloft one of the candles which we had taken 
 from the room. Carefully led by some of the 
 Magistrands, John Ross w^as helped down the stairs 
 and conducted to his home. As we came out from 
 the door and passed from under the colonnades into 
 the quadrangle, we could not but admire the beauty 
 of the evening. The moon shed her pale light upon 
 one side of the square, illuminating the windows and 
 rooms where the students formerly resided, and 
 throwing the shadows of the colonnades all over the 
 broken pavement within, while on the opposite side 
 the old chapel stood in darkness, and the grey, old 
 tower, with its escutcheoned wall and time-honoured 
 Crown, looked down upon the scene. 
 
 We passed out and away, feeling the reverence 
 inspired by the sight. A hoary head is a crown of 
 glory, and thine, O tower, is glorious to me, and 
 venerated not only for what thou hast seen and 
 heard, but also for the golden memories which the
 
 308 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 sight or thought of thee awakens of those sunny 
 days of manhood's prime now for ever fled ! 
 
 Thou art the same, but ah, how changed ! The 
 outHne remains, but many of those things which 
 cHng around our memories and raise our wild 
 laughter when we meet with an old college chum are 
 gone. And one of these that has at last sunk into 
 the past is the "Lobby" in the dimly-lighted garret 
 at the top of the students' staircase. ''Sic transit 
 gloria mundi."
 
 CHAPTER XXVI 
 
 Yet the cards they were stock'd 
 
 In a way that I grieve, 
 And my fecHngs were shock'd 
 At the state of Nye's sleeve : 
 Which was stuffed full of aces and bowers, 
 And the same with intent to deceive. 
 
 — Bret Hartc. 
 
 One evening I went to Francis Gellie's room and 
 found a number of students assembled, all watching 
 with eager eyes the motions of my friend. He 
 seemed to be about some of those legerdemain tricks 
 which are practised by such people as Professor 
 Anderson, for he had what appeared to be a magic 
 wand in his hand, which he kept moving in the air 
 over a book which lay before him. Unable to 
 discover what he was about, I whispered to one 
 who was near me, " What's up ? " 
 
 "Taking the omens", said he. 
 
 " Taking the omens ", returned I ; " what do you 
 mean by that ? " 
 
 " O, he's taking the omens to see where 'George's' 
 or the Greek Professor's examinations are to be." 
 
 " And which is he after just now? " 
 
 " The Greek Professor's I believe, for that is a 
 ' Homer ' lying before him. But listen ; watch him : 
 he seems now about to find the place." 
 
 I did so, and while I watched him I called to 
 mind that my friend in one of his jokes had taken 
 the omen his first year at college, and having
 
 310 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 happened upon the very piece, was encouraged to 
 try it again, when luck again favoured him. From 
 his successful hitting the mark on two occasions, his 
 taking the omens was to a certain extent believed in 
 by the lazier portion of the students, and he had 
 been called upon by some of the Bageants to attempt 
 it now: hence the concourse of students in his 
 room. 
 
 There was a merrj' twinkle in his eye as he 
 waved his hand backwards and forwards, pointing 
 first to the east and then to the west, and looking 
 in every direction to see if the omens were favour- 
 able. Not by the flight of birds, not by the feeding 
 of chickens, not by the barking of dogs, not by 
 the sneezing of any of the company did he draw 
 his inferences and prognostics of the future, but 
 by some internal mental calculation far beyond 
 the comprehension of any of those present. His 
 dress consisted of what seemed to me an old 
 gown of his landlady's, but which being thrown 
 over his shoulder in a peculiar manner gave it some- 
 what the appearance of a toga prcetexta, the insignia 
 of a Roman priest. He kept continually muttering 
 something in the Latin tongue, which none of us nor 
 perhaps he himself understood, while he waved in the 
 air the litiius or wand, curved at the end to make it 
 resemble the badge of office belonging to the ancient 
 augurs. Gradually the wand became stationary and 
 he ceased turning over the leaves of the book which 
 lay before him, and then, moving gradually down- 
 wards, the wand fell upon the book with a sharp rap. 
 
 As soon as this happened the students crowded 
 forward to see and judge for themselves. Of course 
 there was a difference of opinion, but the majority 
 were inclined to believe that he had made a very 
 good calculation, and no doubt all present, such is
 
 THE DELPHIC ORACLE 311 
 
 the influence of imagination, preferred that part 
 to any other. But it was no use, for rhe customary 
 good fortune of my friend deserted him on this 
 occasion, and he was very wide of the mark. 
 
 " Try the Latin, Gelhe", cried one of the students. 
 
 " Dii contrarii sunt ", said he, amid roars of 
 laughter. 
 
 " Well, try Mathematics." 
 
 " Itidem, itidem ", said he again to this request. 
 " No favourable answer will be returned. Alio 
 tempore, alio tempore." 
 
 " All right, my boy ; we will wait till another 
 time, but if you do not take them next Saturday it 
 will be too late, and you will be a prophet after the 
 time." 
 
 " We will see about it. You've had enough for 
 the present, and therefore we will consider the 
 divinatio at an end" — after which the greater part 
 left the room. 
 
 I hope you will be as successful as on former 
 occasions", said I, as I went up to the performing 
 augur, who was laying aside his lituus and disrobing 
 himself of his toga prcetexta, which I found was 
 a purple-striped dress of his landlady's. "Your luck 
 was decidedly in the ascendant on the two former 
 
 occasions." 
 
 " Yes ; I hit it pretty near." 
 
 " So near, that in olden times you would have 
 been taken for a prophet." 
 
 " Many have been taken for prophets with much 
 less reason." 
 
 " Why, many of the ancient Roman and Greek 
 prophets were not so near the mark. Look at Delphi. 
 The famous oracle there was more remarkable for 
 the double meanings which it uttered and expounded 
 than for the truthfulness of its vaticinations."
 
 312 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " That is the way with most of our so-called 
 prophets of modern times. They were a little before 
 their age : knew more than their neighbours, and 
 were able to turn that knowledge to the best account." 
 But your plan is not so sure as that of Robert- 
 son's", said another student who was in the room. 
 
 " What is that ? " said Gellie. 
 His system of copying." 
 
 " It is more honourable, I should think, and, what 
 is more to the point, perfectly legitimate." 
 
 " I grant all that. But I am speaking of the 
 adaptation of means to an end. Robertson has 
 reduced his to a system, and really deserves credit 
 for it." 
 
 I never consider anyone deserves credit for 
 doing what is dishonourable ", said Gellie, rather 
 indignantly. " It's a great pity he did not expend his 
 ingenuity upon his legitimate work." 
 
 " Hold there, my boy ; don't class me among his 
 followers, or consider that I grant him credit for 
 copying. It is only his system I speak of." 
 
 " Rather a nice distinction for me. It seems, I 
 must say, a distinction without much difference." 
 
 " Never mind that just now. I will try to explain 
 his system to you as he did to me the other night. I 
 think I understood him." 
 
 " Go on, then." 
 
 " We will suppose the examination to be one in 
 Senior Mathematics — the most difficult of all, and 
 one which causes quakings of heart to the great 
 majority of us. Well, Robertson knows perfectly 
 well that the professors will not put themselves to the 
 trouble of investigating the contents of his pockets 
 to see if there is anything contraband. He, there- 
 fore, makes them the receptacles of his cribs." 
 
 " The days of finger-nails for dates, and wide arm-
 
 CRIBBING METHODIZED 313 
 
 sleeves for slips of paper are over, I see. An 
 improvement has come." 
 
 "Yes, a decided improvement, think such as 
 Robertson. As I said, all the pockets of his coat 
 are made available, and ticketed along with their 
 contents." 
 
 " Quite a system, I see," said Gellie, interested in 
 spite of himself. 
 
 " Yes ; but that is not all. He has a slip of paper 
 in his pocket, or inside the paper on which he is 
 to write, on which all these pockets are carefully 
 numbered and the contents of each marked. By 
 this means he can at once see where any particular 
 thing wanted is, and abstract it when the professor's 
 back is turned." 
 
 " I see, I see. But is he not apt to confuse and 
 abstract the wrong paper? " 
 
 "That's just where the beauty of Robertson's 
 system is, and on which its accuracy depends. Let 
 us descend a little more to particulars, and you will 
 see that he does not boast without good cause. 
 Suppose he has four pockets : one for Spherical 
 Trigonometry, another for Conic Sections, a third 
 for Differential and Integral Calculus, and the last 
 for odds and ends. These he numbers one, two, 
 three, four; and their contents are also numbered on 
 his catalogue in the order in which they occur in his 
 pocket. Suppose that he looks at his examination 
 paper and finds that he wants in Spherical Trigo- 
 nometry that part of De Moivre's Theorem which 
 is marked three in his catalogue: he goes to pocket 
 No. 1, counts carefully the sheets of paper, and 
 when he comes to three, abstracts it from his pocket 
 and deposits it among his papers. Again, suppose, 
 in Conic Sections, that he wants that famous theorem 
 about the Parabola, of which ' Freddy' is so fond.
 
 314 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 and which he finds marked five in his catalogue : he 
 goes to pocket No. 2, counts the papers there until he 
 comes to it, and then does the same as before. And 
 so with anything else from the other pockets. Of 
 course, he is careful that the paper is in every case 
 the same, and that the same ink and pen are used, for 
 otherwise there might be created a suspicion of foul 
 play. There are, it may be supposed, a number of 
 questions which cannot be treated in this manner, 
 but he trusts to be able to do some of these, and thus 
 be enabled to pass. ' Freddy' is so fond of certain 
 things that we are sure to get some of them, and, 
 with pockets filled in this manner, Robertson cannot 
 miss the mark if he is not too closely watched." 
 
 I never heard of the like of that in all my life", 
 said Gellie. 
 
 " Did I not say right when I declared that he 
 deserved credit for the perfection to which he had 
 brought the art of cribbing?" 
 
 Perhaps he does, but, to say the least of it, 
 it is most dishonourable." 
 
 " Not only do I say so, but I also assert that it is 
 very unfair to the more honourable of the students." 
 
 " Very, and ought to be exposed." 
 
 " Undoubtedly. It is a disgrace that anyone by 
 his carelessness and laziness should have brought 
 himself to such a state." 
 
 Did he not seem ashamed of it ? " 
 
 " Not in the least. He rather seemed to glory 
 in the fact of ' doing ' the professors, and to boast 
 the perfection of his scheme." 
 
 It is shameful. Of course, in all classes there 
 will be a certain number of lazy fellows who will not do 
 the work, and who, when the examinations come, will 
 either copy off their companions or do as Robertson 
 is doing. The^- ought to be horse-whipped."
 
 WRITTEN V. ORAL EXAMINATIONS 315 
 
 " No young man of any honourable feeling would 
 act in this manner. I told Robertson that, but he only 
 laughed at my fastidiousness, as he called it, and 
 said that there were two sides to a question." 
 
 Decidedly : a right and a wrong, and he is 
 following the wrong. He may get off now — though I 
 hope he won't — but it will tell against him in the 
 future. The dishonest boy will be the dishonest man, 
 and there is as much dishonesty in that as in 
 abstracting money from another's pocket, in my 
 view. Though I am not an advocate for viva voce 
 examinations, I would be inclined to have these 
 fellows pulled over the coals in that way." 
 
 It would be a surer test for them, but, on the 
 whole, my own opinion from actual experience is 
 that written examinations are the best test of a good 
 scholar. A student who is nervous never gets on 
 well at a viva voce examination, and professors 
 often, from their manner, make them so. And if they 
 have any feeling against a student — for thej' are 
 but mortals — it is sure to come out on such an 
 occasion." 
 
 " True. I uphold the written examinations for 
 many reasons, and these among others — they make 
 us more accurate and more particular. You may 
 remember the aphorism of Bacon: 'Reading maketh 
 a full man, conversation a ready man, and writing 
 an exact man '."
 
 CHAPTER XXVII 
 
 A dirge for him, the doubly dead, in that he died so young. 
 
 — Poe : " Lenore ". 
 
 The examinations were drawing near, and every 
 moment of spare time was employed by the students 
 in preparing for them. They were seldom to be seen 
 strolling the streets at night, as they were accus- 
 tomed to do in the early part of the season, unless, 
 perhaps, a few who did not care about their position 
 in the class, and who were certain to be among the 
 number of the " stuck ". 
 
 My cousin, though working very hard, often came 
 to my lodgings and spoke about his companion. He 
 was not satisfied with the state of his health, and 
 persisted in declaring that he was much worse than 
 he appeared to be or would allow us to think. He 
 said that he often saw expressions of pain pass over 
 his face when he thought he was not being observed, 
 and in his sleep he moaned, as if suffering from 
 some internal pain. I said that if I were in his place 
 I would call quietly upon the doctor and state how 
 matters stood. He did so that evening, and found 
 him at home. 
 
 "Well, anything the matter with your friend?" 
 said the doctor. 
 
 I can hardly say. There is perhaps nothing to 
 arouse apprehension, but I am not satisfied : I see 
 expressions of pain pass over his face when he thinks
 
 THE IDES OF MARCH 317 
 
 I am not looking at him, and in his sleep he moans as 
 if in pain." 
 
 So, so ", said the doctor, meditatively. 
 He also looks thinner and paler even to my 
 eye, though a stranger perhaps would note even a 
 greater change." 
 
 "Just so, just so", said the doctor, still in a 
 musing tone. 
 
 I am sure this hard grinding must be very much 
 against him." 
 
 " When do the examinations come off ? " 
 
 " Next week." 
 
 " I don't think much can be done till then, for 
 anything I could do would be completely neutralized 
 by his anxiety about the examinations." 
 
 " I do not think he is fit to go up to them. They 
 will kill him." 
 
 I should hope not. There is no doubt the 
 excitement is keeping him up, and that there will be a 
 relapse after they are over. There is no use 
 disguising this fact." 
 
 I can easily see it myself. If his strength keeps 
 up till then, it is sure to give way after all is over." 
 
 But we must look after him a little better. I 
 have been rather busy of late, else I would have 
 called, but I'll do so to-morrow, after j^ou return 
 from college — in a free and easy way, you know." 
 
 " You must not let him know I have been here. 
 He would never forgive me." 
 
 No fear of that, no fear of that." 
 
 Agreeable to his promise the doctor called upon 
 them next day as they were at dinner. 
 
 "Ah, caught you grubbing! Nevermind. Goon; 
 I have no doubt I'll find something interesting on 
 this side the table. Ah, Tennyson ! I did not think 
 you would have had time to study him."
 
 318 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 " Perhaps study is not the right word ", said my 
 cousin. " I only take him up in my leisure hours, 
 as a relaxation from severer studies." 
 
 " Not a bad idea. A good poet, though some- 
 what fanciful. Years will mellow down that, and 
 then we will have a man and poet superior to any in 
 the present generation." 
 
 " I am glad you have such a favourable opinion of 
 him ", said my cousin, " for he is my beau-ideal of a 
 true poet." 
 
 He has an extraordinary power of expression, 
 it must be allowed, but I think he will show that more 
 in the future. But what 3.ve you doing, my quondam 
 patient? " 
 
 " Working away as hard as I can, making ready 
 for the examinations." 
 
 " When do they come off ? " 
 
 " Next week." 
 
 " So soon, and yet I ought to remember that, 
 seeing it is so near the end of March. You must 
 take care and not overwork yourself before they 
 come. You look as though you had been at that 
 already." 
 
 " O, no ! I have been taking it rather easy." 
 
 " What do you say to that ? " said he, turning to 
 my cousin. 
 
 " That his taking it easy is what I call working 
 like a horse." 
 
 " I should think that is nearer the truth. I must 
 look after you, or you will be knocking yourself up 
 before you get over all your work. It would be a 
 pity to bring you up to the day of the examination, 
 and then allow you to collapse." 
 
 " I do not think there is any fear of that." 
 
 " The old, old story : will not believe there is any 
 danger. However, there is no use discussing the
 
 A TONIC 319 
 
 matter just now. Your friend will come down and 
 I will give him a mixture, of which you will take a 
 table-spoonful when you feel wearied. It is a 
 stimulant, and may be of some service to you. I 
 would like you to use it as little as possible." 
 
 " If I can possibly do without it, I shall not use it. 
 I do, however, often feel worn out long before I ought." 
 
 " It can hardly be otherwise, but be as careful as 
 you can, and we will try to pull you through. Call 
 for the medicine ", said he to my cousin, " any time 
 in the evening. Good-bj^e, good-bye." 
 
 " Keep an eye on that lad ", said the doctor, 
 when my cousin called. " He is killing himself by 
 hard work, and if he does not mind what he is about 
 he will not be fit to pass his examinations. Send 
 him off early to bed." 
 
 "You might just as well think of removing a 
 mountain as moving him when he is hard at work. 
 He would not move for the Queen herself." 
 
 " He will be sure to ruin all by this way of going 
 on. ' A wilf u' man maun hae his wye ', and I 
 suppose we cannot thwart him w^ithout bringing 
 about the very thing we are afraid of. Take him 
 this ; let him use it, as I said, when he feels wearied, 
 which I think will be pretty often. It will help to 
 keep up the system a little, but the great thing he 
 requires is rest — total cessation from labour of every 
 kind, mental as well as physical." 
 
 " I suppose we cannot look for that until after the 
 examinations." 
 
 " No, no : and then perhaps it may be too late. I 
 cannot understand fellows killing themselves for the 
 sake of a paltry prize — for the honour of only one 
 day, or, at the furthest, one week." 
 
 " When one looks at it in that light it does seem 
 folly."
 
 320 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Downright, arrant folly ! A fellow's life is 
 short enough at the best without his foolishly 
 curtailing it. Students are a parcel of asses, who 
 never think for one moment of the most simple rules 
 of health ", and he strutted backwards and forwards 
 in a fume. 
 
 " Well, well, never mind. You cannot put an old 
 head on young shoulders, and we must let him take 
 his own way for a time. I have no doubt he will 
 regret it by and by." 
 
 My cousin left, and did everything in his power, 
 during the short time that intervened before the 
 examinations, to prevent Macleod from prolonging 
 his studies, but all in vain. He even seemed to 
 study more closely than before, and my cousin was 
 by no means sorry when the examination days came. 
 These were Monday and Wednesday — the former 
 for Mathematics and the latter for Natural Philo- 
 sophy. My cousin noticed on Tuesday evening that 
 he was very much exhausted, and tried to prevail 
 upon him to go to bed. 
 
 "After to-morrow I will have plenty of that", 
 said he in a sad tone. 
 
 " Yes, but I am afraid you will seriouslj^ hurt 
 yourself even before that time comes." 
 
 " I do not think that one night more can do much 
 harm." Then, after a pause, he said abruptly, " I 
 cannot understand myself now. I never felt this 
 way before. I used to be as fresh as may be before 
 examination time, but I feel quite worn out now." 
 
 " You must remember that you have not been 
 well of late." 
 
 I never could have thought that it would have 
 made such a difference. But wait till this other 
 examination is over, and I will give myself rest. 
 That will soon bring me round to my old self again."
 
 BREAKING UP 321 
 
 "^^ My cousin could hardly refrain from sighing as 
 he looked at the wasted form before him, and con- 
 sidered whether he ever would be himself again. 
 That nervous twitching of the nostrils and that 
 difficulty in breathing hinted at another tale. 
 
 It was enough to affect the most callous heart to 
 see Maeleod walking over to the college, leaning on 
 my cousin's arm. The small hill that used to be 
 considered nothing was now a hard toil, and they had 
 to stop several times to give him rest or wait until 
 some severe fit of coughing had passed away. When 
 they reached the summit it was a great relief to 
 both, and they smartened their walk a little as they 
 went down the gentle incline which led to the 
 college. Arrived in the quadrangle, the students 
 crowded round them to inquire after his welfare, and 
 the stiff, independent, somewhat cold young man 
 seemed to be very much affected by the anxiety of 
 his class-fellows. Soon there came the hurry and 
 excitement of the entrance, and Maeleod and my 
 cousin were separated, the former having been kindly 
 placed near the stove, in the library, where the 
 examination was to take place. During the whole 
 of the time occupied by the examination, my cousin 
 often looked towards him, always seeing him busy at 
 work, and near the close noticed him deposit his 
 paper and leave the room. It was some time before 
 he was able to follow, and when he got out he found 
 him leaning against the library door, looking around 
 and evidently thoroughly exhausted. 
 
 " Well, how do you feel now, Maeleod?" 
 
 " Utterly done up. I could do no more were fifty 
 examinations before me." 
 
 " Take my arm, and we will get a cab to take you 
 home." 
 
 "Anything, anything; I care not what it be, were 
 22
 
 322 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 I only home. But let me have one look more — one 
 long, lingering look. Perhaps it may be my last, my 
 last, my last", and he gazed round with hungry, eager 
 eyes on the pile where he had spent so many hours, 
 and where he had triumphed so often. 
 
 " Oh no, not that ", said my cousin ; " you are 
 making youself worse than you are." 
 
 " Do not flatter me with false hopes. I am quite 
 certain that the sensations I feel at my heart are 
 those of death. Don't you know that I have seen the 
 anxiety on your kind face for the last week or two, 
 and understood your longing for the close of the 
 examinations. And now they are over, my work is 
 done, and I will no more enter this gate. Let me feel 
 it ; let me touch it once more — only once, you know 
 it will be the last ", and he took hold of one of the 
 bars, and, with eyes fixed on vacancy, stood for a few 
 seconds in deep thought. 
 
 " Come away, you are exciting yourself too 
 much. It will do you harm. Here is a cab; let us 
 get into it, and we will soon be home. I want to get 
 you to bed so that you may have some rest." 
 
 They entered the cab and were soon at their 
 quarters. With very great difficulty he managed to 
 get upstairs, for a deadness seemed to have come 
 over his body, and it was with the greatest difficulty 
 that he could move his limbs. When he got up to 
 the room he dropped into the easy-chair like a piece 
 of lead. My cousin left him for a little, and when 
 he returned he had fainted away. Getting him at 
 once to bed, he went for the doctor, who, on seeing 
 him, shook his head, looked very grave, and applied 
 some restoratives. As soon as Macleod opened his 
 eyes he looked into the doctor's face with a longing, 
 wistful gaze, and then whispered, " It's come at last, 
 doctor!"
 
 PROMETHEUS BOUND 323 
 
 " I hope not", said the doctor, in a hopeful tone. 
 
 I must try what I can to bring you round. Now 
 
 that these examinations are over, and we can have 
 
 rest for an unHmited time and plenty of country air, 
 
 there is every chance for you." 
 
 " I'll never see the country again, doctor, nor the 
 blue peaks of my own native hills. No, never 
 more!" and the tears started into his eyes. 
 
 " You are taking by far too gloomy a view of it. 
 You have overworked yourself and are now paying 
 the penalty. Rest will do wonders. You must not 
 let your spirits get low, for that is the worst thing 
 possible for you." 
 
 How can they be otherwise when you feel death 
 gnawing at your vitals. Do you think Prometheus 
 was in high spirits when he felt the eagle gnawing at 
 his liver? " 
 
 " Can't sa}^ as I was not acquainted with the 
 gentleman, but this I do know, that you are spouting 
 too much, and that I will not allow." 
 
 After giving some directions how to act, the 
 doctor said to my cousin as he stood with him at the 
 street door, " I need not conceal from you that your 
 friend is in a very critical state. He has completely 
 overwrought himself, and is so prostrated that I am 
 not at all pleased with his state. If he does not 
 speedily rally I would not say much for his future 
 chance of life." 
 
 I hope it is not so bad as that." 
 
 " We will hope for the best. I'll call upon you 
 to-morrow morning ; and, meantime, if there is any 
 change, either for the better or the worse, let me 
 know, whatever the hour is." 
 
 In the middle of the night my cousin was 
 awakened by a sharp cry. He got up and went to 
 Macleod's bedside, but started back in alarm when
 
 324 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 he saw his eyes staring wildly about him, and a red 
 stream of blood flowing from his mouth. Dressing 
 hurriedly, he called the landlady, and rushed 
 frantically for the doctor. Together they hurried 
 through the darkness and dullness of the streets, and 
 reached the room shortly after the landlady had got 
 to his bedside. Looking long and carefully at him the 
 doctor shook his head, placed him in an easier 
 position, and wiped the blood from his mouth. Then 
 lifting the wasted hand, which lay upon the coverlet, 
 he felt the pulse and looked anxiously at his face. 
 Slowly, very slowly, the colour began to return to his 
 lips and cheeks, and after a little the eyes gentlj'' 
 opened, and he looked as if about to inquire what 
 was the matter. The doctor held up a warning 
 finger, still, however, retaining the hand to note the 
 action of the pulse. Then, after a little, he said, 
 " Quietness, quietness, above everything ! Lie in one 
 position, for motion backwards or forwards will only 
 increase the flow from the wound. Your friend will 
 help you to the mixture I'll send. See you", said he, 
 turning to the landlady, " that he obeys my orders, 
 for I am inclined to think he often goes contrary to 
 them." 
 
 As my cousin and he returned to his surgery, the 
 doctor said, after a long pause, " That last attack has 
 done for him, I'm afraid. He was weak before, but 
 this will make him much worse. What I give him 
 can do little good. It's a pure case of one killing 
 himself by not attending to nature's laws. It's most 
 aggravating to see a clever young man needlessly 
 cut off before his time." 
 
 My cousin walked on in silence, his heart too full 
 to speak. 
 
 " If a post-mortem examination were made upon 
 his body", continued the doctor, "the verdict ought
 
 EBB TIDE 325 
 
 to be 'Committed suicide while in a sound mind'. 
 It's enough to make one wild", and the doctor strode 
 off at such a speed that my cousin could hardly keep 
 up with him, 
 
 " Give him that — a table-spoonful, you know, 
 every hour or so. But it's no use : he'll never get 
 better. He's killed himself, when he might have 
 lived to be an old man and done some good in his 
 day. Don't you tell him that, though." 
 
 " No, no", said my cousin, hardly able to speak. 
 
 " Now, get to bed yourself, and let your landlady 
 look after him for a time. You have been over- 
 straining yourself by your examinations and anxiety 
 concerning your friend. I do not want two patients 
 on my hands. Besides, it can do no good — cannot 
 add one hour to your friend's life." 
 
 That day, my examinations being over, I went 
 to divide the watching of our friend with my cousin. 
 I had not seen him for some days, and could not 
 have believed that such a change would have 
 happened in so short a time. His eyes were sunken, 
 and had that peculiar look which only those have 
 who are drawing near to the grave — a look as if 
 anxious to take in more than the vision permitted. 
 The hand was thin and bony, the blue veins 
 standing out prominently, and looking still more 
 blue from the contrast to the white. Altogether, he 
 gave me the appearance of one who had not long to 
 live. 
 
 "Thin, is it not?" whispered he, holding up his 
 hand. " I am passing away ", and, overcome with 
 the thought, he turned away his face and wept. 
 
 I did the same, for I could not help myself. 
 
 " It's hard, when one is so young and just 
 entering upon life", continued he, after a time, "but 
 I have got to think more resignedly about it. There
 
 326 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 is one thing : I hope I have not hved in vain. 
 Though fond of empty honours — the honours of 
 my college, which to me now seem as nothing — I 
 hope I have not been useless in the world." And 
 then he stopped for want of breath, and lay panting 
 on the bed. 
 
 At another time he said, " Don't you fall into my 
 error — the killing of yourself with hard work. What 
 are honours and prizes in comparison with good 
 health and the opportunity of doing good ? I 
 would give all the prizes I ever obtained, ten times 
 over, to have health back again. But I must not 
 complain." 
 
 On the Saturday he got very low, and we were 
 afraid he would pass away. He rallied, however, in 
 the afternoon, and seemed much better. A note 
 came to my cousin from one of the professors 
 inquiring about him, and also privately intimating 
 that Macleod was first prizeman in both classes. 
 This information was sent with the hope that it 
 might aid in restoring him to his usual state of 
 health. After a consultation on our part, we told 
 him the result of the examinations, and watched 
 with anxiety the effect upon his feeble frame. A 
 faint flush of joy overspread his face, and his eye 
 flashed for a moment with pleasure. But it was 
 only for a moment. Turning to us he said, " Yes, it 
 is a pleasure even yet to know that I have out- 
 stripped them all, and stand first. But these prizes 
 I'll never see, and as I may not have the opportunity 
 again of speaking about them, 1 will do it now. I 
 wish them given to you two — Mathematics to the 
 one and Natural Philosophy to the other. When 
 my name is called out and I am not there " — a long 
 pause, broken only by our sobs — " go up, each of 
 you, and get them, and say that it was my particular
 
 A FUNERAL 327 
 
 request. It is the only return I can make you for 
 your great kindness. Tell the doctor to choose one 
 of my books — any one he pleases, a prize if he likes 
 — as a remembrance of me. And now, let me say 
 my last, my final words. Sell all my books, unless 
 what you wish to keep for yourselves. With what 
 you obtain for them, and the second half of my 
 bursary, you will have plenty to pay all my debts 
 and leave enough to put me decently under mother 
 earth. If there is anything left, put it in my chest 
 with my clothes and send it to the address you will 
 find marked upon it. I do not remember anything 
 else. Bury me within sight of the old college tower. 
 It is a fancy, but I would like that the sound of the 
 old cracked bell should occasionally boom over me. 
 I need not say how much I feel your kindness to me, 
 and how much you have softened the bitter end. 
 God will reward you for it. I have none to leave 
 but you, and I do so as if you were in reality my 
 brothers. Farewell ! " 
 
 We could not speak, so overcome were we with 
 emotion. He fell into a quiet slumber, which 
 continued the most of the night. When the doctor 
 saw him in the morning he said he could not last 
 much longer. His breathing gradually grew fainter 
 and fainter, and at times we really thought he was 
 gone. As the bells began to ring for morning 
 service he raised his head as if listening, a sweet 
 smile passed over his countenance, and, muttering 
 some endearing expression in his native Gaelic, he 
 gently passed away — we trust to a more exalted 
 worship above. 
 
 We buried him near his old college, within the 
 sound of the cracked bell, and almost within sight of 
 the place where he had struggled and triumphed. 
 His funeral was attended by all the students and
 
 328 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 professors, and many a dim eye looked upon that 
 coffin lid, marked with the simple inscription, 
 "Robert Macleod, died aged 21". "Whom the 
 gods love die young."
 
 CHAPTER XXVIII 
 
 With deep affection 
 And recollection 
 I often think of 
 
 Those Shandon bells. 
 
 —F. C. Mahony. (1S04-66.) 
 
 It was the last Friday of the session, and we rose 
 filled with thoughts of the prizes to be announced 
 that day. And not we alone, for many an anxious 
 heart throbbed as they walked that familiar road for 
 the last time that session. Not perhaps so ner- 
 vously as they had done at the commencement, 
 when they assembled in the same public hall to hear 
 the list of bursars, for then their whole future 
 depended on the decision ; but, with an anxiety 
 increased by the work of the session, and after a 
 five months' contest, these various athletes could 
 not but be a little excited as to the result. In 
 general, a very good idea was entertained of those 
 who were likely to head the list, but as everything in 
 our University was decided by written examinations, 
 there was often a very great difference in the list 
 from what had been expected. All during the 
 session, but particularly towards its close, the steady, 
 hard-working student had been creeping up to the 
 front — another illustration of the hare and the 
 tortoise — and now he was to receive the reward of 
 his exertions. We think that nowhere is this so 
 clearly proved as at college, for the flashy student — - 
 he who wants to appear clever — takes a high place in
 
 330 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 the class at the commencement of the session and 
 works by fits and starts — when the close comes, and 
 the real test of a scholar is applied, finds himself far 
 outdistanced by him who has quietly but steadily 
 pursued the even tenor of his waj'. A dashing 
 manner may carry a man through the world, and 
 that world may give him credit for what he does not 
 possess, but one session at college is sufficient to 
 prove such a student's proper place — a place 
 generally far down in the order of merit — and, once 
 found, there is usually no future change. 
 
 A little after ten, the public hall was completely 
 filled by the students who, as usual, indulged in the 
 amusements common on such occasions. And yet 
 one, by closely observing, might see that these were 
 not so heartily entered into as on former occasions, 
 the students being either tired of them or perhaps 
 thinking them beneath the dignity of young men 
 about to leave the University. On the appearance 
 of the sacrist in his gown trimmed with purple silk 
 velvet, and the mace on his arm, followed by the 
 professors in a long row, the noise subsided, and all 
 sat anxiously awaiting the result. After prayer, the 
 Vice-Principal stood up and said that he would now 
 announce the successful candidates for the highest 
 honours of the college — the Simpson Mathematical 
 and Greek Prizes, and the Huttonian Prize for the 
 best scholar in all the classes. " The first of these", 
 said he, raising his voice, " the Mathematical Prize 
 of £60, has been gained by Mr. Thomas Barker." 
 No sooner was the name announced than a loud cheer 
 rang through the hall, which was renewed again and 
 again when little Tom stepped forward and received 
 from the Professor the envelope with the enclosed 
 cheque. After a little the Vice-Principal again said, 
 "The next prize, the Simpson Greek Prize of £60,
 
 THE DECLARATIONS 331 
 
 Ifes been gained by Mr. Thomas Gentles", Even a 
 greater noise than before arose as he went forward, 
 and this continued so long, causing the dust to rise 
 in a thick cloud all over the room, that 'Davie', 
 fond of his joke, could not resist the temptation of 
 saying in one of the lulls, " Gentlemen, I would feel 
 obliged if you would not kick up such a dust", on 
 which the "ruffing" was changed into uproarious 
 laughter, small though the joke was. " The next name 
 I have to announce is the winner of the Huttonian 
 Prize of £15, for the best scholar in all the classes. 
 This has been gained by Mr. William McGrigor." As 
 the tall, slightly stooping young man went forward 
 calmly and quietly, there burst from all a loud cheer, 
 for he was universally respected, and everyone was 
 pleased that he had obtained this reward for his 
 hard " grinding". 
 
 ' George ' then stood up, prefacing his list, how- 
 ever, with the remarks that the papers presented 
 to him by his classes this session were undoubtedly 
 of a higher order than those which had been 
 received by him on any former occasion. For the 
 edification also of the Junior Latin class, he begged 
 to inform them that their class certificates, so neces- 
 sary prior to their entrance upon the troubled arena 
 of the world, would be presented to them at the 
 conclusion of the present Senatus-consultum, and 
 that those gentlemen whose papers, through the 
 superabundance of class operations, had been 
 unavoidably omitted, would have them forwarded 
 to their future habitations free of all charge. Then 
 came his list of prizemen, among which my own 
 name appeared rather far down in the list, for 
 'George's' Roman antiquities had proved my stum- 
 bling-block. However, this was made up by my 
 position in Greek, for there the third place was
 
 332 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 awarded me, an honour which I considered much 
 greater than the same position in Latin. The 
 Mathematical Professor then announced his Hst, and 
 as the first name in the senior class was read out 
 there came a sudden hush, for all thought of that 
 coffin upon which they had looked only one day 
 before. Slowly my cousin went forward, and being 
 well known as Macleod's most intimate companion, 
 they quietly watched him approach the desk and 
 speak to the Professor. Then, in a husky voice, the 
 latter said, " It is at the particular request of the 
 deceased that this prize is delivered to Mr. Jamieson ". 
 My cousin returned to his seat bearing the volumes, 
 but had again, to his great surprise, to march up and 
 receive the fourth prize, to which he had been found 
 entitled. When the Natural Philosophy Professor 
 stood up and announced his first prizeman, there was 
 the same hush, and as I went up he took the oppor- 
 tunity of saying, " Robert Macleod was, without 
 doubt, the cleverest young man who has been at 
 college for many an year" — a compliment by no 
 means undeserved. The other prizes soon followed, 
 after which the students quietly dispersed, the 
 successful prizemen receiving the congratulations of 
 their friends outside, while those who had failed made 
 an abrupt departure, disgusted with everybody and 
 even with themselves, for at such a moment the most 
 conceited cannot but be conscious that their failure 
 is entirely owing to their own carelessness, or want 
 of steady perseverance. 
 
 And then comes the last and most important of 
 all the ceremonies at the college — the capping for 
 A.M. Once on a time the Magistrand wore a Master 
 of Arts gown and hood, but these grand days are 
 over, and he robes his person in a gown generally 
 borrowed from some clerical friend, and places on
 
 THE GRADUATION 333 
 
 his head a hat — an article which many of them have 
 been known to wear for the first time. Ranged in a 
 row before the Senatus, they are each covered with 
 a small cap, which scarcely lies on the crown of 
 their heads, but which, having already decorated 
 the craniums of many famous men, is supposed to 
 contain some virtue unknown to the vulgar. A 
 certain amount of Latin being muttered, the farce is 
 concluded by the professor shaking hands with each 
 in turn, and accepting them as brothers. For this 
 and a piece of parchment, with a tin box containing 
 the seal of the University, they have the pleasure of 
 paying about £5, after having passed some twenty 
 examinations, failure in any one of which would 
 have forfeited the right to be " capped ". With 
 many in our day, and we have no doubt also in this, 
 it was considered very hard to pay for an honour 
 for which they had wrought so assiduously. But as 
 it was considered a mark of failure not to take the 
 degree, and all such were placed among the "stuck", 
 many a poor student paid the smart, though finding 
 it very difficult to raise the requisite funds. An 
 honour thus paid for can hardly be considered as 
 such. 
 
 And now the work of the session is over. The 
 quadrangle is deserted ; the colonnades echo no 
 longer to the sound of the students' steps or their 
 hearty peals of laughter ; the classrooms, but 
 yesterday full of life and vigour, are now empty and 
 silent, while John, the sacrist, moves from room to 
 room as if out of his element, shutting the doors, 
 and feeling himself slightly affected by the unusual 
 silence and solitude. On the old pile there has 
 suddenly fallen an academical repose, which remains 
 undisturbed for seven months. 
 
 But before separating, and going out on the
 
 .'534 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 mighty stream of life that circulates all over the 
 world, the class supper had to be discussed and 
 sundry speeches made. Some forty of the students 
 who had sat for the last five months, many of them 
 for the last four years, on the same benches, now 
 assembled round the festive board for the first, and 
 perhaps the last, time. And yet such a thought 
 seemed to trouble none of them, for they ate their 
 supper and drank their toddy as if there were no 
 skeleton present at the feast. Jokes were cracked, 
 individual peculiarities alluded to, and personal 
 remarks made without any regard to the fact that 
 they might never more meet again. After disposing 
 of the usual loyal toasts, the chairman rose with 
 flushed cheek and scintillating eye, and, glancing 
 through his spectacles down each side of the table, 
 spoke as follows : — " Gentlemen and class-fellows, — 
 This is a pleasant and yet a sad occasion on which 
 we are met : pleasant, because we have come to the 
 conclusion of our arduous labours, and now stand 
 the proud Artium magistri of our college ; and sad, 
 because those who have mingled together for the 
 last five months, in some cases for the last four 
 years, will now, after the close of our meeting, in all 
 likelihood never all meet around the festive board 
 again. There is this consolation, however, which 
 remains to us all, that, if we do our duty faithfully 
 and honourably in this world, we will be rewarded 
 on that day when we shall all meet around the 
 throne of God. You may remember what a noble 
 poet of our time has said, and said well — 
 
 I will go forth 'mong men, not mailed in scorn, 
 But in the armour of a pure intent. 
 Great duties are before me and great songs. 
 And, whether crowned or crownlcss when I fall. 
 It matters not, so as God's work be done.
 
 THE CLASS SUPPER 335 
 
 "^o encourage us in the performance of our duty, we 
 have only to look upon the illustrious roll of those 
 who once adorned our college, and whose names are 
 yet as household words. We can point to men 
 famous in the Church, Medicine, Law, the Army, and 
 the less obtrusive walks of life, whose example 
 ought and must be a stimulus to us in our onward 
 progress. And we have no doubt that our influence 
 and example will extend yet further, for the opening 
 of the Southern universities to our students, as also 
 the freer access to the civil and military appoint- 
 ments, will pave roads for many who otherwise 
 would have been content to spend their energies on 
 the dull intellects of a parish school. And in after 
 years, in climes as different as our characters, we 
 will meet, reviving each other's recollections of the 
 past and laughing heartily over many of our youthful 
 pranks. But to me the saddest thought of all is, that 
 never more again shall we all meet in this world, 
 never more shall we all stand around the festive 
 board, and, clasping hands together, sing the parting 
 song of our immortal bard. But though this sad 
 thought does come uppermost, and though most 
 assuredly in the nature of things this must be our 
 lot, let me express the wish that when we have done 
 our duty here, and answered the call that must 
 come to us sooner or later, we may hear the 
 gracious welcome, 'Well done, good and faithful 
 servant, enter ye into the joy of your Lord ! ' " 
 
 After this there were other speeches, all more or 
 less resembling that from the chair, and then, all 
 standing up, we clasped each other's hands, and sang 
 that song which has drawn tears from many an eye. 
 And there were many wet eyes there, e^^es suffused 
 with tears that had not been guilty of any such 
 weakness for many a day. Then, with three cheers
 
 336 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 for the professors and three cheers for the dear old 
 college, the meeting broke up, and its component 
 parts melted into the ceaseless flowing stream of 
 human life. 
 
 As we went along the street, accompanying some 
 of our fellow-students to the Old Town, we were 
 unusually quiet and reflective. The Magistrands were 
 thinking that their course of education was now over 
 and that they must now begin their battle with the 
 world, while the younger students, afl^ected by the 
 others, kept decorous silence. When we came to the 
 top of the hill a proposition was made to return, but 
 this was negatived by Lockhart, who declared that, 
 having come thus far, he would have one look more 
 at the old place, since the night was so beautiful. 
 This entirely agreeing with the feelings of the others, 
 a general march took place down the incline, when, 
 finding the gates locked and not relishing the idea 
 of scaling the rails, we passed round to the back, and 
 after some time found our way into the quadrangle. 
 There we stood, looking upon the old pile with 
 reverent eyes, and feeling in our heart that this hour 
 would be long remembered by us as the stepping- 
 stone from one period of life to another — from the 
 preparation for duty to its actual performance. 
 By and by there came a low sound from one of our 
 number, which, caught up by the others, gradually 
 shaped itself into the following parting song : — 
 
 O ALMA MATER, PARENS. 
 
 To thee, dear Alma Mater, our voices we upraise, 
 And all united sing to thee our parting song of praise. 
 Before we leave thy ancient pile to battle with the world, 
 And bear aloft life's banner, now openly unfurled. 
 O Alma iMatcr, parens, 
 
 Carissima valde, 
 Lacrimas profundimus, 
 Vale, vale, vale !
 
 FAREWELL TO THE CROWN 337 
 
 In"^x;cn unfledged Bajeantdom we entered thy wide gate, 
 And now as proud Magistri we pass through it elate; 
 And in the wild exuberance of the excited soul, 
 Think everything on earth and sea should bend to our control. 
 O Alma Mater, parens, 
 
 Carissima valde, 
 Lacrimas profundimus, 
 Vale, vale, vale ! 
 The past is quite forgotten in the future's glorious show, 
 That, conjured up by Fancy's touch, makes all our feelings glow; 
 But when that future shall become the past to you and me, 
 Ah, what will then the pictures be w-hich shone so gloriously ? 
 O Alma Mater, parens, 
 
 Carissima valde, 
 Lacrimas profundimus, 
 Vale, vale, vale ! 
 Then, from our hearts' best corner, the days we have spent here 
 Shall rise and stand before us conspicuous and clear ; 
 And as we think upon them, mayhap with moistened eyes, 
 The well-known forms of college friends before our minds shall 
 O Alma Mater, parens, [nsc 
 
 Carissima valde, 
 Lacrimas profundimus. 
 Vale, vale, vale ! 
 And high o'er all the frolic, the hard work, and renown. 
 Will stand thy grey and lichened tower, surmounted by the 
 
 Crown ; 
 And when in lands far distant we turn our thoughts to thee. 
 We'll see thy Crown stand forth and grace thy pile continually. 
 O Alma Mater, parens, 
 Carissima valde, 
 Lacrimas profundimus. 
 Vale, vale, vale ! 
 Slowly the last verse was sung as if each felt the 
 illusion, and that the future was even now a past to 
 them. But when its echoes had died away we gazed 
 long and earnestly around us, left in silence the 
 quadrangle, and made our way home. At each turn 
 we glanced round to take a last look, and felt the 
 affecting truth of that line of Ovid which he puts 
 into the mouth of one of his lovers — 
 
 Vix illud potui dicere tristc vale. 
 23
 
 CHAPTER XXIX 
 
 Say ye, red gowns that hac been here, 
 Gin e'er thir days hae had their peer. 
 
 Sac blythe, sae daft? 
 Ye'll ne'er again in life's career 
 
 Sit half sac saft. 
 
 — Robert Fergussoii. 
 
 Since the date of the last chapter ten years have 
 passed away, and during their course changes both 
 great and numerous have taken place. To every 
 quarter of the globe that company has been 
 scattered, and many, alas, have gone from the land 
 of the Hving, A great number entered the Church, 
 and now hold distinguished places among the 
 preachers of the age, while some of their confreres 
 are fast climbing up the tree of the Medical 
 profession, and, if spared, will help to take the 
 places of those who were their teachers. Some — 
 alas ! too many — have sunk out of sight, or into 
 abject wretchedness, through indulgence in that 
 curse of our country — strong drink. Many who 
 began the race well, and who seemed to be certain 
 of success in the world, have not attained the prize ; 
 while others whom we valued little, and who really 
 seemed unlikely to succeed, have come to the front, 
 ai%d stand now before the admiring eyes of their 
 countrymen. Truly, the race is not to the swift nor 
 the battle to the strong. 
 
 But, to descend a little more to particulars, and 
 acquaint the reader with the future of some of those
 
 TEN YEARS AFTER 339 
 
 mentioned in the former part of this history, I may 
 place before him a letter which I lately received 
 from that cousin already frequently noticed. The 
 letter is dated from some outlandish place, whose 
 name is so unintelligible that I dare not write it, and 
 in which the regiment on whose medical staff he is 
 has been for some time stationed. The Scotchmen 
 from every accessible quarter had had a picnic, and 
 this seems to have suggested the letter : — 
 
 Dear Mac, 
 
 We have just finished singing the "Old Folks at 
 Home ", a-nd I feel very sad indeed. All the rest have departed. 
 I am left alone, and, spite of everything, and of the jolly day 
 we've had, I have got into a very sad mood and been dreaming 
 of the past. When singing the "Old Folks at Home" I 
 could not help thinking of the days we used to do it in Jem 
 Ross's lodging in the Old Town, and when that half-mad 
 medical accompanied us every now and then on that abominable 
 trombone or touting horn of his. It was laughable, no doubt, 
 and yet the best of it all was Jem Ross's loud laugh, which 
 invariably sent us into convulsions^and Jem's a rural dean 
 now, ah me ! But there was a charm about our song to-night 
 which I never felt before. We were all Scotchmen — some of 
 them you knew— and we all felt as we sang that we were far, far 
 away from those " old folks at home " who had been so kind to 
 us, and whom we would all have been greatly delighted to see. 
 As we sang, first one and then another began to shed a tear, 
 and when we came to a close there was not a dry eye amongst 
 us. And yet none of us were ashamed of these tears. Wc 
 looked into each other's faces, and when not able to speak, on 
 account of that peculiar sensation in the throat which you feel 
 when greatly moved, we shook our heads and remained silent. 
 How long this silence might have continued I know not, but it 
 was suddenly broken by the rush of a young tiger into our 
 midst, which was kept as a pet by some of the young fellows. 
 The feeling of sentiment gave place at the first glance to that 
 of terror, but when matters were explained, an almost uncon- 
 trollable fit of laughter followed. 
 
 By the way, do you remember your first Bursary supper 
 and the Highlanders who were there ? Well, could you believe 
 it ! When last in Bombay I happened to go into one of the
 
 340 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Scotch churches to hear a minister who had been highly 
 commended to me. When there, I was certain I had seen him 
 before, but for a long time could not make out where it had 
 been. This continued till he came to a very animated part of 
 his discourse, when a single gesture recalled the man. Who 
 do you think it was ? None other than Macwhirter, one of your 
 guests that night. I called upon him when the service was 
 concluded, and he at once recognized me, invited me to his house, 
 and introduced mc to his wife, who came out only last year. 
 She seems a nice person, and he a thoroughly changed man. 
 He recalled that night to me, and declared that that was the 
 first time he was impressed with the idea that he might, 
 besides educating himself, make himself somewhat of a gentle- 
 man. And I can assure you he has succeeded. So, you see, 
 your supper, and the many of the same kind of which it was 
 the precursor, were not altogether in vain. 
 
 But I was still more surprised when, at a public dinner at 
 Calcutta, a gentleman, addressing me from the opposite side 
 of the table, inquired if I was acquainted with "George". 
 Now, though I know more than a hundred Georges, still, in my 
 mind, there is and has been only one "George". I at once 
 replied that I did, and inquired if he was acquainted with the 
 gentleman. 
 
 " To be sure I do, and the Sabincs, too." 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! Did you know the Sabines ? " 
 
 "Yes; rather think I should, for I'm married to one of 
 them." 
 
 " You don't mean to say so?" said I, rather taken aback. 
 
 " It's a fact, though, as I can show you, if you come to my 
 quarters. Poor fellow, ' George ' is gone at last. They'll 
 tease him no more, for it must be allowed we did worry the 
 poor fellow." 
 
 " I'm afraid we did." 
 
 " And yet, he's the one that has left the deepest impression 
 upon me." 
 
 "And upon me too, for his accuracy, impressed upon me 
 when young, has never left me." 
 
 " Do you remember Lockhart?" 
 
 " To be sure I do. Do you ? " 
 
 " I rather think so. Do you remember Fender ?" 
 
 " Hang it, who are you, then, for you seem to know all my 
 friends ? " 
 
 "An officer in Her Majesty's service." 
 
 " So I see ; but what is your name. Mine is "
 
 REVIVING MEMORIES 341 
 
 " I know yours quite well, and do not wish to be told it. 
 Can you tell me anything of Givan ? " 
 
 " Dead, Went off in a galloping consumption," 
 
 " What a pity. He was a fine fellow." 
 
 " As fine, true, and honourable a fellow as was in our lot, 
 as I can testify." 
 
 "And I can do the same. Do you remember Alister 
 Macalister?" 
 
 " Don't I, just?" 
 
 "What is he doing? " 
 
 " Preaching to the benighted heathen in his native Gaelic, 
 and, I believe, to his own and his people's satisfaction." 
 
 "Well, he was a strange fellow — about the roughest 
 diamond I ever met. What is become of his friend Hector? " 
 
 " I believe he is doing something of the same kind. But 
 would you oblige me with the name of the person whom I 
 address ? " 
 
 " Do you remember Fender and the pea-crackers, or the 
 way he did Lockhart by selling the potatoes ? " 
 
 " Who on earth are you ? " cried I, in utter amazement. 
 
 "And do you remember Lockhart and his door-knockers, 
 and the lamps he put out on Bursary night, when he kept the 
 lamplighter running after him for a quarter of an hour ? " 
 
 "Remember, I should rather think so! But who in the 
 name of wonder, are you ? " said I, starting from my seat and 
 staring across the table. As I did so he burst into a loud 
 laugh, which at once informed me that it was that most 
 outrageous of all wags — Lockhart. When he had quite 
 recovered himself, he said, " O, that Fender had been here! 
 Would not he have enjoyed the mystification ! But he's snug 
 in his manse thousands of miles away." 
 
 I need not tell you that we had a jolly and pleasant talk 
 about old times, and about our college days, in which you and 
 many others figured. The fact is, we were young again and at 
 college, and gave a long, long sigh when we found that it was 
 not the actual reality.
 
 NOTES 
 
 P. I. Bursary. — "Cesar Egasse du Boulay, commonly 
 called Bulaeus, in the vast labyrinth of documents running 
 through six folios which he was pleased to call a History of the 
 University of Paris, has much to say here and there about the 
 Bursus and the Bursaruis — the bursary and its holder. The 
 word comes from the same origin, indicative of connection with 
 money, as the French bourse and our own pu?-se. The term has 
 various meanings in ecclesiastical history, but in the univer- 
 sities it referred to endowments or scholarships."— John Hill 
 Burton : "Scot Abroad", p. i8o, ed. 1881. 
 
 " The term Bursar Is of high antiquity, and may be said to 
 be coeval with the earliest foundation of the University. In 
 the Deed of Erection, dated 1505, of a College (afterwards 
 King's College) within the University of Old Aberdeen, it is 
 provided that, of the thirty-six members, thirteen shall be 
 Bursars in Arts. Twelve are to receive an annual stipend of 
 twelve merks each, from the revenues of the Churches of Aber- 
 luthnot, Glenmuick, Abergerny, and Slains ; the thirteenth is to be 
 on the foundation of Duncan Scherar. This Duncan Scherar, 
 Prebendary of Clatt and Canon of Aberdeen, is worthy of being- 
 commemorated as — apart from the original endower. Bishop 
 Elphinstone — the first founder of a bursary at Aberdeen, in 1502, 
 the value amounting to three pounds ten shillings Scots. 
 Elphinstone's foundation bursaries are still awarded, but, by the 
 Inglis Commission of 1858, their number was reduced to six, 
 without maintenance and commons as originally provided. One 
 hundred and seven bursaries in Arts belonged to King's College 
 at the Union of the Universities in i860." — "Bursary Competi- 
 tion Versions." Edited by Joseph Ogilvie, M.A., LL.D. 
 Aberdeen. Pp. vii.-viii. 
 
 P. 2. Schoohnastc'r. — James Lyall, '•'•filius Jacoln, agricolac 
 in parochia Laurencekirk " ; b.s.t.m. (1832-36), Marischal 
 College. Schoolmaster of Peterhead from i8.[4 to 1875. Born, 
 1816 ; died, Nov. 16, 1875.
 
 NOTES 343 
 
 '^^- P. 4. Marking errors. — The system employed in the 
 valuation of the version is here explained. For its marking 
 after the Fusion, see " Meminisse Juvat : Autobiography of 
 a Class at King's College in the Sixties ". By Alexander Shewan. 
 Aberdeen University Press, 1905. P. yj and ;/. 
 
 For the Melvinian method in detail, adopted by the Senatus 
 of Marischal College in 1827, see Ogilvie's " Melvin Exercises", 
 p. xxiv. 
 
 P. 7. Wullie Robb. — W\\\\2.m Robb, Peterhead. M.A. 
 (K.C.) 1850. 
 
 P. 9. Bibere . . . a te sed. — "To drink porter from the(e} 
 butt." 
 
 P. 12. Highland lairds. — "Thus the Laird of Mackintosh, 
 who begins in the true regal style, ' We, Lachlan Mackintosh 
 of that ilk', and who styles himself the Chief and Principall of 
 the Clan Chattan— probably using the term which he thought 
 would be the most likely to make his supremacy intelligible to 
 university dignitaries — dispenses to the King's College two 
 thousand merks 'for maintaining hopeful students thereat'. He 
 reserves, however, a dynastic control over the endowment, 
 making it conducive to the clan discipline and the support of 
 the hierarchy surrounding the Chief It was a condition that 
 the beneficiary should be presented ' by the Lairds of Mackin- 
 tosh successively in all time coming ; that a youth of the name 
 of Mackintosh or of Clan Chattan shall be preferred to those of 
 any other name', etc.etc."— Burton's "Scot Abroad", t'.^., p. 181. 
 Founded in 1728. 
 
 P. 12. Seafield bursaries. — Founded in 1678, by Walter 
 Ogilvy of Redhyth. The number of bursaries is sixteen, of the 
 annual value of ^22 los. each, and tenable for four years. 
 There are twenty-four bursaries at the School of Fordyce on 
 this foundation, of the annual value of £,\2 each, payable partly 
 in meal, and tenable for five years. Patron — The Right 
 Honourable the Earl of Seafield. 
 
 P. 12. Our class of 7iinety-foiir. — The Class of 1853-57, 
 King's College. For the list, see pp. 180- 181 of " Roll of Alumni 
 in Arts of the University and King's College of Aberdeen^ 
 1596-1860". Aberdeen, 1900. Edited by P. J. Anderson, M..\., 
 LL.B.
 
 344 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 P. 12. Classical scholars. — See the article "John Black", 
 by the present writer, in "Aurora Borealis : Aberdeen Univer- 
 sity Appreciations", 1899, pp. 120-123; and Professor Geddes' 
 "Classical Education in North of Scotland", 1869, pp. 14-20. 
 He there styles King's College "the college of the version", 
 " the daughter of the version ". 
 
 P. 13. Famous rector. — James Melvin. See chap, xxiii. 
 
 P. 13. Last Monday— October. — The Bursary Competition 
 is first mentioned in 1549, when the Chancellor, Bishop William 
 Gordon, reformed abuses after a rectorial visitation held by 
 Alexander Galloway, Canon of Aberdeen. Each bursar had first 
 to be examined by the Principal and regents an sit ad hoc idoneus 
 et in granunatica instructus. — "Fasti Aberdonenses." Spalding 
 Club, Aberdeen, 1854. P. 265. 
 
 " The day of the Competition {Dies Cojnpetitionis) is first 
 mentioned in 1659, under the Cromwellian Principal, John Row. 
 Oinnes meniinerint scdulo secundiun dieni Domifticuni in Octobri 
 niense diem hue conveniendi a feriis j et diem Martis insequen- 
 tem esse diem coinpetitionis. " Fasti Aberd.", p. 255. 
 
 P. 17. Riddle and Arnold.—"- Copious and Critical English- 
 Latin Lexicon." By the Rev. T. K. Arnold and Rev. J. E. 
 Riddle. (Rivingtons.) 
 
 P. 18. First post.— Jjy the "Mail" coach, starting from 
 David Robertson's Royal Hotel, 61 Union Street, at 6-30 a.m. ; 
 in Peterhead, irS a.m. 
 
 P. 20. Grey turrets . . . learning. — Based on John 
 Hill Burton's description in " Tait's Magazine" for May, 1833. 
 '• In the Old Town, a tun-el or two, and an ornamented Crown, 
 peeping modestly over the trees, announce the seat of learjiing; 
 and, on a nearer approach, these form themselves into a quad- 
 rangle, surrounded by miniature Gothic buildings, old and new, 
 a corridor [the colonnades], a tower or two, and a solemn Gothic 
 chapel." "He had accordingly come to be the' symbol of the 
 Crown, which he once pointed out to me, in an etching by Sir 
 George Reid that hung over the fire-place in his drawing-room — 
 ' It holds, you see, the place of honour, and I sometimes 
 believe it will be found in my heart, as Calais was in Mary's. 
 Well, I hope it is the last object I shall see. I can remember, 
 like yesterday, the feelings with which I first beheld it as a
 
 NOTES 345 
 
 Bby'." — "Sir William Geddes", by the present writer, in 
 "Alma Mater", 14th February, 1900, p. 148. 
 
 P. 23. Afy dictio7iary. — " Professor Fuller gave notice that 
 he would take an early opportunity of bringing before the 
 Senatus the subject of the expediency of discontinuing the 
 practice of allowing to competitors for Bursaries the use of a 
 Dictionary in composing their exercises." — Minute of Senatus, 
 October 23, 1857. 
 
 P. 24. Dark blue sea. — " It is an imperishable memory, 
 which does one good to recall at all hours of stress ; while to 
 return to the Grey Town by the sea, to tread those familiar 
 streets, to watch the foam from the distance of the Spital top 
 whiten the breakwater, to see the Crown once again with one's 
 very eyes — -these are things, especially for those of us who have 
 left the North, which seem to prove that there is "84 Cham- 
 pagne' after all."— "Arts Class Record, 1884-88." 1905. P. 8. 
 
 P. 24. Ltche}i-covered Crown. — 
 
 I've sung a hundred songs to thee, 
 
 Yet could I sing a hundred years 
 I could not tell how much to me 
 
 The grey, old lichcned Crown appears, 
 Serene above the ceaseless din 
 Of those who lose and those who win. 
 
 And as the days go quickly by, 
 
 And one grows blunted in the fight, 
 I see one patch of sunny sky 
 
 Though fogs blot out the sun from sight. 
 I only pray that I may hold 
 Its memory as the years wax old. 
 
 —•'.\rts Class Record, 1884-88." 1902. By J. M. B[ul!och]. P. 56. 
 
 P. 25. Colonnades. — "The Piazza itself was the gem of the 
 building. It consisted of seventeen bays or openings, with 
 round arches resting on square pillars, and was all of free- 
 stone, with Tuscan masonry, and with the stones chamfered at 
 the lines of junction. It thus formed a cloistered walk, flagged 
 with stones. . . . More than any other spot the Piazza was 
 the knitting-place of College friendships, and acquaintanceships 
 of College chums in after time are found to be rooted and 
 grounded more deeply in that sacred spot than in all others
 
 346 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 connected with the College." — Sir Wm. Geddes in " Scottish 
 Notes and Queries", Feb., 1898: reprinted in "Alma Mater", 
 Jan. nth, 1901. 
 
 The two covered porticoes, separated by the door in the 
 tower at Marischal College leading up to the Mitchell Hall, were 
 designed in 1834 by Archibald Simpson on the model of the 
 King's College colonnades. The P'raser Uuildings in King's 
 College were erected in 1725-30, so that when demolished in 
 1860-62 they had stood about 130 years. 
 
 P. 27. Georiie Ferguson^ A.M. Edinb., 1833 ; one of the 
 classical masters in Edinburgh Academy. LL.D. i860. Last 
 of the Humanists of King's College, from 1847 to i860. Died 
 July 14, 1866. HuraSimty = Liierae Hiimaniores. 
 
 P. 27. Davie— '"'' The fie?id". — Professor David Thomson, 
 born at Leghorn, Italy, Nov. 17, 1817. ALA. Trinity College, 
 Cambridge, 1S45 5 Professor-Substitute of Natural Philosophy 
 in Glasgow, 1S40-45 ; Sub-Principal of King's College, 1854- 
 1860 ; Dean of Faculty of Arts, 1860-63 ; Secretary of Senatus, 
 1860-68. Died at Old Aberdeen, Jan. 31, 18S0. See "David 
 Thomson", Aberdeen, 1894, by Rev. W. L. Low; and article 
 by same writer in "Aurora Borealis", pp. 71-82. " His action 
 left him a legacy of temporary unpopularity, and he was referred 
 to among the students as ' The Fiend'. But in time that feeling 
 gave place to one of a very different kind, and he was commonly 
 called by the affectionate tiile of ' Davie '." P. 74. 
 
 P. 27. '■'■ Fijie." — Professor Andrew Fyfe, M.D. Edinburgh, 
 1814; Professor of Chemistry, 1844-61. Last of the "Medi- 
 ciners" of King's College. This was the most ancient foundation 
 in Britain for the teaching of Medicine, under the Elphinstone 
 Foundation of 1505. See Mrs. Rodger's "Aberdeen Doctors". 
 Blackwood ilx: Sons. 1893. Pp. 72-79. The first mediciner was 
 James Cumine, who received the right of salmon fishing on the 
 Don. "We were invited to Old Aberdeen, where stands King's 
 College, which has produced a number of learned men, but we 
 found the building greatly decayed. The masters gave us an 
 invitation to eat some salmon in perfection, out of the Don, 
 where they had a property. We bore them company to the 
 river's side, where was a little hut or booth : in one part a room 
 with a fire, and in another a room for company." — "An His- 
 torical Account of My Own Life." By Edmund Calamy. 
 Printed in 1829. D.D. King's College, 1709.
 
 NOTES 347 
 
 "^P. 27. ''HabeP—V>x. Hugh Macpherson, M.A. 1788, King's 
 College; M.D. Edinburgh, 1794. Elected Professor of Hebrew, 
 8th Aug., 1793. On Oct. 4 he is granted "leave to go for this 
 winter to London in order to qualify himself more properly for 
 the discharge of his office". Elected Professor of Greek on 
 April 8, 1797. In 1S44 he began, up to his death on 12th March, 
 1854, the dangerous habit of teaching by deputy. See chap, 
 xxii for his use of "the glorious words of Pope", and chap, v 
 for the name of " Habe ". " Trail tells me the story was current 
 about 'Habe', that he had to learn Greek after his appoint- 
 ment, and sought to stimulate his students with 'Courage, lads! 
 I am just one day ahead of you I'" — Shewan's "Meminisse 
 Juvat", p. 30 //. This use of "lads" in addressing'' the class 
 was technical. '"Yes, lads', he said once in almost Gibbonian 
 phrase, 'I have sojourned in every capital in Europe except 
 those of its extremities — Russia and the Iberian Peninsula'." — 
 Sir William Geddes in "Aurora Borealis", on Prof. "Hebrew" 
 (Andrew) Scott, p. 143. 
 
 P. 27. Dorian. — Professor Robert James Brown, of Maris- 
 chal College, son of Principal W. L. Brown. M.A. Marischal 
 College, 1808; Minister of Drumblade, 1821-27; Professor of 
 Greek, Marischal College, 1827-60; Moderator of Free Church 
 Assembly, 1846. Died 7th Dec, 1872. The "Doric" refers to 
 the Greek dialect, a supposed hobby of the Professor. The 
 Dorica Via., along which he proceeded, when late, to Marischal 
 College, was from his house, 19 Golden Square, along Union 
 Street, down steps to Correction Wynd, across St. Nicholas 
 Street, up Flourmill Brae, along Barnett's Close, to Guestrow ; 
 thence into Broad Street, exactly opposite the gate of Marischal 
 College, by Ramage's C^urt, of which the Guestrow end still 
 exists, but the Broad Street end is represented by Mr. Bisset's 
 shop, 85 Broad Street. 
 
 P. 28. '''' Doi-and-ca7-ry-oner — A nickname of Professor John 
 Stuart, Marischal College, 1782-1827 (Mrs. Rodger's "Aberdeen 
 Doctors", p. 92), but here applied to John Tulloch, Professor of 
 Mathematics in King's College, i8rj-5i. "The figure of 
 Professor Tulloch, the plucky little Highlander, in his gown, 
 standing with spectacles swinging in his hand, and swaying 
 himself on his limping limb as he read out the list of com- 
 petitors whom he called to enter and take their allotted seats." 
 — Principal Geddes in "Alma Mater", p. loi, iiih Jan., 1901.
 
 348 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 So also "Alma Mater", p. 138, 7th Feb., 1900: "Poor little 
 TuUoch went limping round the room, as anxious and fidgety as 
 if he were one of the competitors himself". — Rev. Duncan 
 Anderson, M.A. 1848, describing the Competition of 1844. 
 
 P. 28. John, the porter. — John Begg, sub-janitor, King's 
 College ; for "John (Smith), the sacrist", see chap. viii. 
 
 P. 31. Sto7ic staircase: hall. — "This was a long, narrow, but 
 respectably fitted up room, with windows only to the quadrangle, 
 so that there were no cross lights on the pictures, which were 
 distributed along the east and north walls, and made, for that 
 period, a fairly brilliant array. The approach to the hall was by 
 a staircase, opening from a door in the Piazza, and ascending to 
 a landing, from which one entered the hall, passing on the left 
 the Senate Room, which communicated also with the hall 
 by tall folding doors. This Senate Room appears to have been 
 a section cut off from the old hall, which, when used as a dining 
 hall in the conventual time, extended to a length of ninety feet, 
 and formed a handsome and lofty apartment, lighted by a 
 picturesque window of three lights."— Principal Geddes in 
 "Alma Mater", nth Jan., 1901. In this hall, Inglis, as Lord 
 Rector, delivered the last Rectorial Address in King's College, 
 on Oct. 14, 1857. 
 
 P. 31. Orkney and Shetland.- — " It was curious to see at the 
 long tables the variety in the tone and character of the intel- 
 lectual gladiators, each trying his strength against the rest — long, 
 red-haired Highlanders, who felt trousers and shoes an infringe- 
 ment of the liberty of the subject — square-built Lowland farmers 
 —flaxen-haired Orcadians — and pale citizens' sons, vibrating 
 between scholarship and the tailor's board or the shoemaker's 
 last. There was nothing to prevent a Bosjesman, a Hottentot, 
 or a Sioux Indian, from trying his fortune in that true republic 
 of letters. Grim and silent they sat for many an hour of the 
 day, rendering into Latin an English essay, and dropped away 
 one by one, depositing the evidence of success or failure, as the 
 case might be." — J. H. Burton : " Scot Abroad", p. 181. 
 
 "No roll was called, for the competition was open to Scot- 
 land, or, for that matter, to the world at large ; and, had a 
 'heathen Chinee' and fur-clad Esquimaux presented them- 
 selves at that table, they would have found a place, and, provided 
 their Latinity was up to the mark, they had as good a chance of
 
 NOTES 349 
 
 success as the Scottish youth who had studied his classics in 
 some of the famous Grammar Schools of the North." — Rev. 
 Duncan Anderson, v.s., of the 1844 Competition, when over 
 150 competitors entered. 
 
 P. 32. Ri/ff. — " There is the ghost of a ' rough ', or 
 demonstration on the floor by the feet of the noisy ones. 
 The only book in which I have seen the word spells it ' ruff', 
 which seems too smooth a setting. I cannot discover the 
 etymology. Possibly it is a local word in this sense. Fuller 
 once told us scathingly that he had ascertained that the action 
 which it describes, and which he particularly detested, was a 
 ' peculiarity of the Northern student ! ' It was generally meant 
 for applause, but often it was mere unmeaning animal devilment 
 — the frolicsome joy of wild asses. Disapprobation was con- 
 veyed by scraping the floor with the feet. There was a near 
 approach to it once in Chapel, when the sermon was too long for 
 our taste." — Shewan's " Meminisse Juvat", p. 6. I suggest 
 that "rufif" is the word in Die Wacht am R/iein, " Es braust 
 ein riif wie Donnerhall ". Fuller's condemnation seems 
 borne out by Tacitus' description of the "ruft"" given in the 
 speech by Galgacus : " Exrepere orafio?7ein tit barbaris nwris, 
 cantu fremiiuque et clanioribiis dissonis ''. — " Agricola ", chap, 
 xxxiii. 
 
 P. 32. Distribution of ■z>ersio7!S. — The version u^as dictated 
 at King's College up to 1845, and at IMarischal College up to 
 1846. "The version was slowly dictated. The only book 
 allowed was the ordinary Latin dictionary." — Rev. D. Anderson. 
 v.s. 
 
 P. 32. The version. — For the version set on this occasion, 
 see " Bursary Competition Versions". Aberdeen, 1889. By Dr. 
 Joseph Ogilvie. P. 33. 
 
 P. 34. By his jokes and appearajicc. — Based on the lame- 
 ness of Professor John Tulloch — "he had a rare capacity for 
 drollery, and was a determined punster", says Sage of him, in 
 his " Memorabilia Domestica", Wick, 1S89— and on the phrase 
 of " the Dorian", Professor Robert Brown. "Who that knew 
 that fine old gentleman does not remember his peculiar voice, 
 rich in rolling ' r's ', long drawn out in a not unmusical cadence, 
 or his almost invariable reproof to a noisy class, ' Gentlemen, 
 you know, of course, that an empty barrel always makes most
 
 350 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 noise ?'"— Sir Thomas Sutherland, Chairman of the P. & O. 
 Company, in "Alma Mater", xx, p. 104. 
 
 P. 34. The box.—'''' Time was called at last, and each 
 candidate, after placing a certain number on his exercise, 
 and the same number and his name on a coupon attached, 
 separated the two and placed the pieces in different boxes." — 
 Rev. D. Anderson, v.s. 
 
 P. 35. Piece of Latin and Greek. — "A passage for trans- 
 lation from Latin into English became an integral part of the 
 Competition at King's College only in 1847, such a passage 
 having previously been tnken into account only to decide between 
 competitors found equal by the version test. This innovation 
 was made at Tvlarischal College in the year 1846. In 1849, Greek 
 was introduced at both Colleges ; in 1851, arithmetic was added 
 at Marischal College." — " Bursary Competition Versions." By 
 Dr. Joseph Ogilvie. v.s.., p. xii. 
 
 The following extract from a letter of Professor Geddes to 
 Mr. P. J. Andei'son will show the date of the change in the 
 Competition through the introduction of the translation 
 passage : — 
 
 " The antiquity of the version ascends ante vienioriam 
 Jioniinujn : in my time when entering as a student it was the 
 dominant test, and the Competition extended over one whole 
 day (Monday) for the version and a part of the second for the 
 translation. Declaration was always on the Wednesday — day of 
 the Aulton market, and the expectant students wandered dole- 
 fully among the stands and peep-shows to beguile the dreary 
 time. The translation at that time was not estimated inde- 
 pendently, and was only used to determine ties or near sequences. 
 Professor Ferguson, who appeared about '47, altered this, and 
 succeeded in getting the results estimated not of the version 
 only but also of the translation, so that both counted pari 
 passu. By and by Greek was added but limited to the Gospel 
 of John, afterwards advancing to a book of the Anabasis." 
 
 The version " closed the first day's work — in fact, the more 
 important part of the Competition, as the translation of Latin 
 into English was not considered by any means so drastic a test 
 of mental capacity as the turning of English into choice 
 Ciceronian Latin".— Rev. D. Anderson, M.A. King's College, 
 1848 ; Minister of Monymusk, Canada ; author of " Lays of 
 Canada", " Scottish Folk- Lore", etc.
 
 NOTES 351 
 
 ''^. 37. Public hall. — The Public School, on the ground floor 
 of the east side of the quadrangle. In that building "the four 
 Arts Classes met for the winter morning prayers, written 
 examinations were ordinarily held, and public functions took 
 place, such as announcements of bursaries, prizes, etc., and the 
 ceremony of Arts graduation. It was a low building, bare and 
 unadorned as a barn within, and with no architectural pre- 
 tensions without. It was not even of ashlar work, but rubble 
 rough-cast, or, in local phrase, ' harled ' ; and, although it seems 
 to have been the shell transmogrified of what Parson Gordon 
 delineates as existing on the east side in his time (circa 1660), 
 and was therefore of considerable antiquity, there is nothing to 
 regret in its removal. Still, it is not without emotion that one 
 recalls the associations attached to this building, where we 
 heard for the first time the names of those whom the University 
 delighted to honour as holders of bursaries or winners of prizes 
 publicly proclaimed." — Principal Geddes, "Alma Mater", 
 nth Jan., 1901. 
 
 P. 38. Old v:an . . . Jiis /icad.—Ke\. William Jack, M.A. 
 1785 ; M.D. 1788 ; D.D. 1849. Died, 9th Feb., 1854. Elected 
 Principal, Oct. 7th, 1815, having previously been Regent and 
 Sub-Principal. He held office in King's College for sixty years, 
 T 794- 1 8 54, a term surpassed only by the sixty-seven years of 
 Principal Roderick (" Rory ") Macleod, 1748-1815, by the 
 sixty-five years of Thomas Gordon, 1732-97, and by the 
 sixty-one years of Dr. Hugh Macpherson, 1793-1854. " I at 
 once recognize a very aged man, whom I had observed while we 
 were waiting outside, approaching the great haH door, leaning 
 on the arm of a lady, who there left him in the care of one of 
 the College officials. This I learned afterwards to be Principal 
 Jack, now, of course, relieved from duty, except, perhaps, when 
 his venerable appearance and great age would tend to add 
 additional dignity to a professorial meeting. I observed also 
 at a glance that the old Principal was blind." — Rev. D. 
 Anderson, v.s. 
 
 " As a little old gentleman, quite blind, but with beautiful 
 white hair, wearing a black velvet skull-cap^ and of a most 
 reverend look, he used to be seen in the College Chapel, leaning 
 on his daughter's arm. His house was close to the College 
 belfry, where the Professor of Divinity's manse is now ; and 
 some young students, who in their older days became distin-
 
 352 
 
 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 guished, used to tell how it amused ihem at an idle moment to 
 mount the belfry and drop pennies at intervals from its Crown 
 to his feet, and enjoy the Principal's amazement as he wandered 
 in his garden as to where the clinking coins came from." — 
 Mrs. Rodger's " Aberdeen Doctors", p. 296. 
 
 P. 39. Secretary or Vice-Principal. — Professor David 
 Thomson, elected Sub-Principal on April 7, 1854. The electors 
 " did unanimously record their sympathy with Dr. Hercules 
 Scott, whose services as Regent, during a very long period, they 
 highly appreciated, but whose infirm health rendered him unable 
 to discharge the onerous duties of Sub-Principal ". — " Officers 
 and Graduates, King's College", New Spalding Club, 1893, 
 p. 44. 
 
 P. 39. List. — The 1853 Bursary List is here appended : — 
 Alex. Davidson, George Street, Aberdeen, 
 John Garden, Rathven, -.--.. 
 
 George Morrison Macpherson (resigned), King's College. 
 George Campbell Smith, Banff, - . - . . 
 
 William M'Gregor, 
 
 Henry Paterson, Ballater, ------ 
 
 Donald Stewart, Aberlour, 
 
 Thomas Barker, Old Aberdeen, ----- 
 Alexander Ferrier, Woodside, - - - . . 
 
 Alexander Thomson (major), Rothes, - - . - 
 
 William Murdoch, Dufftown, 
 
 David Lockhart, Bryngwin, Swansea, - - - - 
 Stewart D. F. Salmond, Aberdeen, . - - . 
 
 James Wilson (minor), Keith, . . . - . 
 
 Arthur Rattrie, Aberdour, 
 
 John Cosmo Macpherson (resigned), Tarland. 
 
 Andrew Cameron, Tarland, 
 
 Peter Donald, .----..- 
 William J. Elmslie, Aberdeen, - - - . . 
 
 James Anderson, Old Aberdeen, 
 
 Thomas Gentles, Falkirk, 
 
 Charles Dunn. 
 
 James Russell, Elgin, 
 
 Andrew Macpherson, Inverness — Macpherson Bursary, 
 
 — "Aberdeen Journal", November 9, 1853. 
 
 P. 39. James Phifferson. — The first bursar was Alexander 
 Davidson, M.A. 1857, Minister of Presbyterian Church, Cleator 
 Moor, Cumberland. 
 
 £30 
 
 
 
 
 
 18 
 
 
 
 
 
 17 
 
 
 
 
 
 16 
 
 
 
 
 
 16 
 
 
 
 
 
 15 
 
 
 
 
 
 15 
 
 
 
 
 
 14 
 
 
 
 
 
 14 
 
 
 
 
 
 13 
 
 
 
 
 
 13 
 
 
 
 
 
 12 
 
 
 
 
 
 12 
 
 
 
 
 
 12 
 
 
 
 
 
 5 
 
 10 
 
 
 
 5 
 
 
 
 
 
 5 
 
 
 
 
 
 5 
 
 
 
 
 
 3 
 
 17 
 
 
 
 3 
 
 9 
 
 S 
 
 20 
 
 
 

 
 NOTES 353 
 
 P. 44. C/asses.— {From "Aberdeen Journal", October 10, 
 1855)- 
 
 The University and King's College of Aberdeen. 
 Lieut -Col. Sykes has placed at the disposal of the Senatus an 
 Appointment in the Indian Army, which will be competed for at the 
 close of the Session, on certam Branches of Knowledge, to be 
 afterwards specified. 
 
 Faculty of Arts. 
 The Classes in the Faculty of Arts will open on the First Monday 
 
 of November, as follows : — 
 
 Daily. 
 
 Junior Humanity. Prof Ferguson. 10.45 to 12, and 2 to 3. 
 
 Senior do. Do. 12 to i. 
 
 Junior Greek. Prof [Campbell] 9 to 10.30, and 3 to 4. 
 
 Senior do. Do. 2 to 3. 
 
 Junior Mathematics. Prof Fuller. g to 10.30, and 3 to 4. 
 
 Senior do. Do. 10.30 to 11.30. 
 
 Natural Philosophy. Prof Thomson. 9 to 10.30, and 3 to 4. 
 
 Moral Philosophy. Dr. H. Scott. 9 to 10-30, and 3 to 4. 
 
 Chemistry. Dr. Fyfe. 10.45 to 11.45. 
 
 The Lectures on the History and Principles of the Civil Law, as 
 a Branch of General Education, will be commenced on Saturday the 
 loth of November, at half-past Ten o'clock, a.m. — Magistrands will 
 be allowed to attend gratis. 
 
 Faculty of Divinity. 
 
 The Classes in the Faculty of Divinity will open on Monday the 
 loth of December, being the second Monday of that month. 
 Divinity. Dr. Macpherson. 12.30 to 2. 
 
 Church History. Principal Campbell. 11 to 12. 
 
 Junior Hebrew. Prof A. Scott. 9 to 10. 
 
 Senior do. Do. 10 to 11. 
 
 Classes for Arabic and Hindostanee will also be formed, if any 
 Students offer themselves.* 
 
 The Hebrew Classes will be conducted in King's College, and not 
 in the Medical .School. 
 
 [*" In the oldest of our calendars he was careful to insert, so as to 
 justify his position as Professor of Oriental Languages and not of 
 Hebrew alone, a paragraph to this effect : — ' Should three or more 
 students come forward, instruction will be given in the Arabic, Persian, 
 Hindustani, or Sanscrit languages two days weekly at such hours as 
 may be found convenient'." — Sir Wm. Geddes. s.v, "Andrew 
 Scott" in "Aurora Borealis Academica", p. 146. Aberdeen, 1899.] 
 
 24
 
 354 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Applicants for the Bruce Divinity Bursaries are required to 
 attend at the College, on Saturday, 15th December, at Ten 
 o'clock, A.M. 
 
 Medical School. 
 
 The Winter Session commences on First Monday of November, 
 and terminates on the Third Friday of April. Introductory Lecture, 
 by Dr. Rattray, on 5th November, at Two, p.m. 
 
 
 
 
 Daily. 
 
 Midwifery. 
 
 Dr. 
 
 Rainy. 
 
 8 to 9. 
 
 Materia Medica. 
 
 Dr. 
 
 Rattray. 
 
 9 to 10. 
 
 Chemistry. 
 
 Dr. 
 
 Fyfe. 
 
 10.45 to 11.45 
 
 Anatomical Demonstrations 
 
 
 
 
 and Practical Anatomy. 
 
 Dr. 
 
 Redfern. 
 
 12 to I. 
 
 Practice of Medicine. 
 
 Dr. 
 
 Williamson. 
 
 I to 2. 
 
 Anatomy and Physiology. 
 
 Dr. 
 
 Redfern. 
 
 2 to 3. 
 
 Surgery. 
 
 Dr. 
 
 Kerr. 
 
 3 to 4. 
 
 Institutes of Medicine. 
 
 Dr. 
 
 Christie. 
 
 4 to 5. 
 
 Chemistry will be taught, as formerly, in King's College, and the 
 other Classes in the Medical School, St. Paul Street. 
 
 The Royal Infirmary is open daily at Ten, a.m. It contains 
 upwards of 300 Beds ; and separate courses are delivered on Clinical 
 Medicine by Dr. Kilgour, and Surgery by Dr. Keith. 
 
 FREDERICK FULLER, Secretary. 
 
 King's College, Aberdeen, 
 September 11, 1855. 
 
 For some interesting notes on the King's College Medical 
 School of the time, see Mrs. Rodger's "Aberdeen Doctors", 
 pp. 293-299. Edinb., 1893. King's College in 1853 introduced 
 the degree of M.B. : conferred, after examination, on such 
 students as had completed one minus nicdictcs at King's College, 
 and finished the curriculum for M.D. The latter degree was to 
 be conferred during a period of twelve years after M.B., without 
 further examination. Fee for M.B. ,^5 5s.; M.D. ,^21. — "King's 
 College : Officers and Graduates", New Spalding Club, 1893, p. 176. 
 
 P. 44. Latin and Greek. — The Greek Class was taught in 
 1853 by Alexander Cameron, M.A., as Substitute for Professor 
 Hugh Macpherson, from Dec. 6th, 185 1. 
 
 P. 44. HigJdands a7id Western Islands. — " There was a 
 marked difiference between the students of Marischal College 
 and those of King's. A large proportion of Marischal men 
 were sons of citizens of Aberdeen ; the King's men came mostly
 
 NOTSS 355 
 
 from the country districts, not a few from the Highlands. The 
 King's men were the older of the two . . . they were also 
 generally more diligent plodders, steadily burning the midnight 
 oil, and seldom indulging in recreation of any sort. Doubtless, 
 mainly for these reasons, the Marischal men did not, so far as I 
 can judge, attain to the same standard of scholarship as the 
 King's men, especially in Mathematics and Physics." — "Remini- 
 scences : Academic, Ecclesiastic, and Scholastic." l^y Rev. Ur. 
 W. Walker. Aberdeen, 1904. Pp. 76, 'j']. 
 
 P. 45. Surgeon hi Navy. — See chap, iii on "Habe" Mac- 
 pherson : married to a daughter of Principal Macleod. 
 
 P. 47. Practice . . . in public hall. — "Before the union the 
 daily routine of the first five week-days was that the students in all 
 the four Arts Classes assembled in the Public School, which was 
 on the ground floor of the eastern side of the quadrangle, the 
 hall being above it, at 9 o'clock a.m. The censor, seated at a 
 small desk in front of the professors' platform, or ' high, boxed 
 pew', called the general roll, after which a prayer was offered 
 up by one of the professors, who took this duty for a week or 
 two in turn. The students then retired to their respective class- 
 rooms, where the class-roll was called and work began." — Rev. 
 Dr. Walker, v.s. p. 14. 
 
 P. 47. One professor. — Professor George Ferguson. 
 
 P. 49. Bageants. — The academic terminology in use at Aber- 
 deen is based on the Paris model. Paris was "the metropolitan 
 of the universities of the world, whose usages were the authority 
 in all questions of form and practice. There the founder of 
 King's College, Bishop Elphinstone, had taught for many 
 years ; so had the first Principal, Hector Boece." — Burton : 
 •'Scot Abroad", p. 167. Kitchin's "History of France". 
 Clarendon Press, 1881. I., pp. 286, 287. 
 
 " Bejan. Forms : 7 bajon, 7-9 bajan, 9 bejaune, bejeant, 
 bejan, bigent. [a. F. b(fjaune novice, freshman (f. bee jaunc^ 
 'yellow beak', in allusion to young birds. See Littre, s.v. Bee, 
 Bejaune) ; cf. Ger. gelbschnabel.] A freshman at the Scotch 
 universities, where the term was adopted from the University of 
 Paris. (Now obsolete at Edinburgh.)" — Murray's "New Eng- 
 lish Dictionary". For other derivations of "bajan", a word as 
 old as 1314 in the University of Paris, see Burton: "Scot
 
 356 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Abroad", pp. 184, 1S5. The correct St. Andrews form, un- 
 noticed by Murray, is " bejant ". So in R. F. Murray's " Scarlet 
 Gown", 1 89 1, p. 44 — 
 
 When one is young and eager, 
 
 A bejant and a boy, 
 Though his moustache be meagre. 
 
 That cannot mar his joy 
 When at the Competition 
 He takes a fair position, 
 And feels he has a mission, 
 A talent to employ. 
 
 P. 49. Almost all . . . Master of Arts. — This charac- 
 teristic feature of Aberdeen had been seized upon by the 
 University Commissioners, from whom this is quoted : — 
 
 Among the universities of Scotland a degree in Arts has, in 
 Aberdeen only, continued to be recognised as the proper termination 
 of a student's course. Both in King's and in Marischal College 
 graduation has uniformly prevailed as a general rule, and the effect 
 of the practice in stimulating the exertions of the students has been 
 most beneficial. We are glad to observe, from the returns with 
 which we have been furnished, that the importance of graduation, as 
 a valuable part of the academical system, is now receiving a wider 
 recognition in the other universities also. In the short period which 
 has elapsed since we began our labours a marked increase in the 
 number of candidates for degrees has taken place, and, considering 
 the privileges which have been extended to graduates under the 
 Universities Act and other circumstances, we are induced to believe 
 that this is merely the beginning of a still greater advance in the 
 same direction, which will result, we hope, in restoring graduation in 
 Arts to its proper position in all the universities. ... In Aber- 
 deen, where the session is apparently shortest, the only holidays 
 throughout its course are Christmas Day and New Year's Day, and 
 occasionally two additional days, when those usual holidays occur 
 towards the end of a week. — " Scottish Universities Commission, 
 1858, Report", pp. XXX, xxxi. 
 
 It would form an interesting note on the history of education in 
 Scotland to illustrate this in detail, but it may be sufficient here 
 to say that the great importance of the Bursary Competition in 
 Aberdeen for centuries had secured the de jure control of the 
 bursars and the de facto extension of this to the rest of the 
 class, so that graduation became the mark of distinction. 
 In the days of Pillans, in Edinburgh, the value of the degree by
 
 NOTES 357 
 
 obsolescence had sunk so low that he advised his best men to 
 avoid it. " Regarding the Arts course in Edinburgh he had 
 little to relate, except that he always spoke with pride of his 
 having been one of six or seven in a large class who took out by 
 right the M.A. degree of that time— a rare thing then in Edin- 
 burgh, where a desultory system of attending classes with no 
 well-defined and orderly curriculum was the order, or rather no 
 order, of the day." — Principal Sir W. Geddes in "Aurora 
 Borealis", p. 136, on Prof. "Hebrew" (Andrew) Scott. Speak- 
 ing of his own graduation at Marischal College, in 1839, Professor 
 Masson adds, "It is right to say that, even in those days, in 
 some of the Scottish universities— at all events, in that of Edin- 
 burgh — the degree of A.M. was a much rarer honour, won only 
 by a very few every year, after a very special examination." — 
 "Macmillan's Magazine", Feb., 1864. 
 
 P. 49. Gown. — The present gown is a combination of the 
 old King's College gown with the sleeves and the Marischal 
 one with the velvet collar. Pictures of those gowns are given 
 in " Some Account of the Last Bajans of King's and Marischal 
 Colleges, 1859-1860", etc., by Lieut-Colonel \V. Johnston, 
 M.A., M.D. Aberdeen, 1899. The King's gown cost 15s. The 
 wearing of cap and gown, at least by bursars, '' galero et toga 
 decenter indutV\ is practically coincident with the foundation. 
 — " Fasti Aberdon.", p. 237. In 1659, bursars not using cap and 
 gown in hall, classes, and in church were deprived of their meals. 
 Bursars wore a black or tawny gown and not a red one (" Fasti", 
 p. 254); but in 1695 masters were enjoined to wear black and 
 students red. "And in regaird the wearing of gownes has 
 never been in custome in the CoUedge of Edinburgh, the Com- 
 mission doth therefor recomend to the masters of that Colledge 
 to endeavour to bring the custome of wearing gownes there in 
 practice." 
 
 P. 51. Buttery Wullie Collie.— The earliest application, in 
 print, of this phrase to an Aberdeen student is found in the 
 "Aberdeen University Magazine" of April, 1S54. In the 
 " Eccentric Magazine" of 1822, edited by Alexander Laing, there 
 appeared a print (without accompanying letterpress), evidently 
 of a local character— familiar to Aberdonians — with a staff and a 
 wallet slung over his shoulder, and bearing the title " Buttrie 
 Collie". It has been suggested that the nickname may have
 
 358 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 been transferred from the wearer of a beggar's red gown to the 
 wearer of the academic toga. The " WulHe " remains to be 
 accounted for. 
 
 On the other hand, an origin of the phrase has been found in 
 the Collegium Buttercnse^ held in a tavern, kept by one Peter 
 Butter, a retainer of the Earls of Erroll, who were Chancellors 
 of King's College from 1700 to 17 17. An amusing account, in 
 rhymed Latin and English, of the proceedings in this bac- 
 chanalian University (which has been attributed to the well- 
 known physician and poet, Archibald Pitcairn, M.D. King's 
 College), was printed at Aberdeen in 1702, under the title, 
 " The institution and progress of the Buttery College . . . 
 with a catalogue of the books and manuscripts of that Univer- 
 sity, sessions 1 699-1 700-1 701." Drinking was study, and the 
 proficiency therein gave the title to degrees. The catalogue, to 
 all appearance a dry list of learned books, in reality compre- 
 hended the whole paraphernalia of a tavern. This e.xplanation 
 also fails to explain the use of the name " WuUie". [P. J. A.] 
 
 P. 54. Back gone — in siircds. — " It being reported by several 
 of the professors that some of the students have been injuring the 
 gowns of their fellow students, it was agreed to represent the 
 matter to the students generally.'' — Minute of Senatus, 
 14th Nov., 1853, 
 
 "You must often have recalled — I certainly can never forget— 
 the Homeric melee that ensued on the very threshold of Maclure's 
 Temple of Humanity. We leave our seats at eleven, thinking 
 to strut about the precincts with our blushing adornments thick 
 upon us, but reach the door only to find a seething mob eager to 
 spoil our virgin beauty. . . . We resist desperately, and I 
 have a recollection of Geddes appearing from his side of the 
 quadrangle and waving his arms helplessly on the outskirts of 
 the battle. But the work of destruction is speedy and thorough, 
 and in a few minutes fragments of our cherished togas are all 
 that remain to most of us, ignoble vouchers for our baptism of 
 fire and formal initiation into academic life. At least one of the 
 gowns mutilated that day is in existence still. It lost a side in 
 the fray, but a section torn from a senior's gown, all dirty and 
 dingy as it was, was stitched in by the owner's landlady to fill 
 the gap. Of other gowns that combat left little more than a 
 scrap below the collar." — Shewan's " Meminisse Juvat", p. 10.
 
 NOTES 359 
 
 For a similar scene — " The Quadrangle, King's College, lo A.M." 
 See "Alma Mater", i, p. i6i. 
 
 But hark! the cry is "H— m— r"— 
 
 The Semis all look blue, 
 As the great lord of learning 
 
 Comes in his long surtout. 
 As a dark squall on ocean 
 
 Looms dark for many a mile, 
 So from afar above the war 
 
 Gleams the H— m — r — c tile. 
 
 P. 55. Lockhiu't. — David Lockhart, b.s.t.m. 1853-57. "At 
 the close of his Magistrand session, David Lockhart went home 
 to Llongor, Llanelly, Wales, where his father was a tenant- 
 farmer. A few months afterwards he took a post as assistant 
 master in a boarding school in Essex, but had to give it up on 
 account of his health. An acute attack of inflammation of the 
 lungs developed into phthisis, from which he suffered till his 
 death, near Swansea, in 1S63 I think He was a man of fine 
 literary taste and faculty, which the circumstances prevented 
 his turning to account, as he would have done, had health 
 permitted."— Rev. Dr. Gentles, M.A. 1857 ; Abbey Church, 
 Paisley, 31st Oct., 1905. 
 
 P. 55. Samuel Martin, " Hatter to the People ", 34 Union 
 Street. 
 
 Dr. Robert Dyce, 198 Union Street. 
 
 Rev. Henry Angus, 50 Dee Street. 
 
 Rev.JoIut Afun'ay^(>()'De& Street. 
 
 Sir T/iomas IVyi/ie, a slip on the writer's part. 
 
 Peier Nena'erson, error for [later, Sir] William 
 
 Henderson, 13 North Silver Street. 
 Dr. Keith, 257 Union Street. 
 Thotnas Blaikie, Provost of .Aberdeen, knighted in 
 
 1856 ; 32 Bon-Accord Terrace. 
 P, 59. David Thomson, house at 33 College Bounds. 
 
 P. 63. Mitchell. — Ale.xander Mitchell, Drumblade; alumnus 
 King's College, 1853-57 ; M.D. 1861. Assistant to Professor 
 Lizars (Anatomy), 1861. Staff-Surgeon R.N. Died 18S5. 
 
 P. 65. Matrimonial contract. — The allusion dates far back. 
 It is believed to refer to the second marriage of Patrick Forbes 
 ("Prosody"), Professor of Humanity 1817-47.
 
 360 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 P. 65. Signboards. — "Grocers and spirit dealers lose their 
 signs, and some venerable professor finds, when he goes out to 
 his morning walk, that he is transformed into a licensed retail 
 spirit dealer, or a boot and shoemaker, according to the account 
 given by a large board nailed over his door." — J. H. Burton in 
 "Tait's Magazine", May, 1833. "The blind fiddler, John Ross, 
 teacher of the fiddle, whose signboard in College Bounds was 
 famous for its migrations, being sometimes found of a morning 
 over a professor's gateway, a favourite lark with the students of 
 the forties." — Sir William Geddes in "Alma Mater", nth Jan., 
 1901. 
 
 P. 66. Cafe Royal. — "The Lemon Tree", 7 Huxter Row, 
 kept by Mrs. Ronald. 
 
 P. 67. Fender. — Peter Fender, b.s.t. 1851-54; m. 1855; 
 son of David Fender, Montreal; in lodgings with Grigor Allan 
 in 2 Park Place and 60 Spital. " Peter Fender went through 
 the Divinity Hall curriculum of the U.P. Church, and, I think, 
 took license, but, if so, did not long continue a preacher. He 
 was offered and accepted a position with the Messrs. Cochrane, 
 millers and grain merchants, Perth City Mills, one of the 
 partners of which [David Cochrane, M.A. 1858] had been at 
 Perth Academy and afterwards at King's College with him. On 
 the dissolution of that firm, he returned to Canada about the 
 year 1872. The Messrs. Cochrane are long since dead, and I 
 have never heard of Mr. Fender since the elder of them died. 
 The Lockhart family are wholly gone, as are the uncle and aunt 
 of Fender, his only relatives — so far as I know — in this country. 
 He did not return to preaching when he went to Canada.'"— 
 Rev. Dr. Gentles, Paisley Abbey Church, Oct. 31, 1905. 
 
 P. 67. Grigor Allan. — Son of farmer at Abernethy, Gran- 
 town; M.A. 1856. "On leaving College my brother Grigor 
 taught in a school at Insch, Aberdeenshire, for some time, and 
 then emigrated to Canada. I understand he held an appoint- 
 ment in Smith's Bank, Chicago (the millionaire who left the 
 money to Sir George Cooper, late of Elgin) for some time, but 
 his health giving way, he went to New Orleans, expecting the 
 change to do good. Finding no benefit, he returned home to 
 Abernethy in i860, and after a lingering illness he died in May, 
 1861, and was buried in Abernethy Churchyard, Inverness-shire." 
 — Alexander Allan, Seafield, Inverness, to Rev. James Fraser 
 The Manse, Erchless, Beauly, Nov. 18, 1905.
 
 NOTES 361 
 
 P. 67. Givan. — William Givan, from Moffat, b.s.t.m. 
 1852-56; M.A. 1857; in Orchard Cottage. See chap. xxix. 
 
 P. 70. Red Lion. — It is to be regretted that no picture has 
 been preserved of this ancient hostelry, associated with the 
 meeting of the Aberdeen Philosophical Society in the days of 
 Reid. cf. Professor Campbell Fraser's "Life of Reid ", p. 51, 
 1898. "The Red Lion with the Latin motto of Serva Jugum^ 
 painted boldly upon its capacious signboard, and which all 
 students, from time immemorial, persisted in translating, ' Hand 
 round the jug'." — Rev. D. Anderson in "Alma Mater", 7th 
 Feb., 1900. Serva Jiigiim : motto of the Earls of Erroll, see 
 P- 358. 
 
 P. 76. Misses Strachan in the Spital. 
 
 P. 76. Row. — Based on incident recorded in the .Senatus 
 Minutes for 14th Jan., 1854. 
 
 P. "JT. Donald Stewart. — Lodgings, 14 College Bounds, 
 with Francis Gellie (chap. xxvi). Educated at Parish School 
 of Aberlour and Rothes, and Grammar School, Aberdeen ; 7th 
 bursar 1853 ; ALA. 1857 ; late minister of King-Edward. 
 
 P. 79. Sub-Principai. —Professor David Thomson. 
 
 P. 79. Charles Grant, Alexander Irvine. — Incident, under 
 different names, recorded in Minutes of Senatus, 14th Nov., 
 1853 ; one to be fined in a tenth of the annual value of his 
 Simpson Bursary, the other to lose a half of a Redhyth Bursary, 
 and be debarred from the degree of IVLA. 
 
 P. 82. Debating Society. — For its work at the period, see 
 Introduction. 
 
 P. 83. Mathematical Classroom. — Professor Fuller's, first 
 floor in the Tower. 
 
 P. 84. George Morrison. — Lodging in 19 College Bounds ; 
 from Edinkillie; Hutton, and Simpson Mathematical Prizeman ; 
 M.A. 1854; LL.D. iSgr ; Head Master of Geelong College, 
 Australia. Died 15th P'eb., 1898. 
 
 P. 85. Demeaned. — " Sometimes we are misled by similarity 
 of sound, as in using the word ' demean' (signifying to 'behave', 
 as in 'demeanour') in the sense of ' lowering', ' making mean'. 
 Thackeray seems to use 'demean', as equivalent to 'degrade', 
 three times out of four . . . ." — Bain's " Higher English 
 Grammar", p. 330. Dr. Murray in the A^. E. D. finds parallels.
 
 362 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 P. 88. Joint, the sacrist. — John Smith, sacrist, King's 
 College, 1843-60. "The sacrist was originally one of the 
 Prebendaries and ranked ne.xt to the Cantor. His duties are 
 detailed at great length in the Foundations of 1505 and 1531. 
 His priestly functions ceased at the Reformation." — " King's 
 College : Officers and Graduates", New Spalding Club, p. 91 n. 
 
 P. 88. Tiiiu'-/io/witred . . . Iear7iing. — The phrase is of 
 considerable antiquity, and must refer to the Ivy Tower to the 
 S.E. There was a tower at the S.W. corner, but its site was 
 occupied by the 1825 addition. The Ivy Tower was preserved 
 in 1 860 from demolition by the influence of John Hill Burton. 
 
 P. 89. Famous men. — The two champion scoundrels in 
 Scottish history are, unknown to most, found among the names 
 of the alumni of King's College : — James Sharpe : M.A. 1637 ; 
 Regent, St. Leonards, St. Andrews, 1642-47 ; Professor of 
 Divinity, St. Mary's College, 1661. George Mackenzie — 
 " bluidy Mackenzie" — 1646-50. 
 
 P. 93. Poet . . . second . . in their day. — The " poet" is 
 James Beattie ; ist bursar 1749; M.A. 1753; d. 1803; author 
 of " The Minstrel"; Professor of Moral Philosophy and Logic 
 in Marischal College, 1760-1803. The "Theologian" is George 
 Campbell, M.A. 1738; Principal 1759-96; author of "Philo- 
 sophy of Rhetoric", "Dissertation on Miracles", etc. The 
 "Philosopher" is Thomas Raid; M.A. 1726; Regent, King's 
 College, 175 1 ; Professor of ^Nloral Philosophy, Glasgow, 1764. 
 The "Naturalist" is Dr. William Macgillivray, Professor of Civil 
 and Natural History 1841-52. He was M.A. of King's 
 College in 1815; author of "History of British Birds", etc. 
 The " Mathematician " is Colin Maclaurin ; M.A., Glasgow, 
 1713 ; Professor of Mathematics in Marischal College, 1717- 
 1725. The names are alluded to in the lines by William Forsyth, 
 "The Midnicht Meetin"' ("Selections from the Writings of 
 William Forsyth." Aberdeen, 1882. Pp. 11, 12) :— 
 
 The place where honor'd names are read 
 
 In ilka page o' a' its story, 
 That o'er the braif auld toun has shed 
 
 A modest glow o' hamely glory. 
 Where Minstrel Beattie sang the sang, 
 
 That yet about the Braidgate rings ; 
 An' where Maclaurin wonn't sae lang, 
 
 And Campbell clippit Satan's wings.
 
 ^^ NOTES 363 
 
 The long residence of Maclaurin is therefore slightly 
 erroneous. 
 
 P. 99. ' Geot\e,e's'' . . . Pittenivccin speech. — This clever 
 skit is the production of George Morrison, M.A. 1854. See 
 chap. viii. 
 
 P. 106. Double Bageant. — One who has attended for a 
 second year the Bajan class. 
 
 P. 107. Private student. — Opposed to a "gown student". 
 " The class (of Professor Knight in Mar. Coll.) was an unusually 
 full one, as it was always attended by some private students of 
 riper years, from the town, in addition to the regular red-gowned 
 students who had to go through the college classes in a certain 
 fixed order." — Professor Masson in "Alma Mater", 12th Jan., 
 1898. For Professor Knight's opinion of them, see "Alma 
 Mater", 30th Jan., 1889. 
 
 P. 114. Exaniinatio?i . . . eacJi session. — "After 1833 
 every student was required, at the end of each session, to pass 
 a written examination on every subject taught in the class 
 during the session. Without this pass he could have no degree- 
 In addition to these closing" examinations, the bursars were 
 bound to pass an examination at the beginning of each of the 
 last three sessions on the subjects taught in the previous session. 
 The adoption of the written examination was accompanied by 
 the disuse of the practice of deciding the allotment of the prizes 
 by the votes of the class (suffragiis condiscipuloricni) — a great 
 additional reform." — "Reminiscences" by Rev. Dr. Walker. 
 Aberdeen, 1904. P. 41. 
 
 P. 115. Senior Wranglers. — George Middleton Slessor, Old 
 Deer, M.A. 1853 ; Simpson Mathematical Prizeman ; Senior 
 Wrangler 1858; Professor of Mathematics, Queen's College, 
 Belfast, 1860-62. 
 
 James Stirling, M.A. 1855 ; Simpson Greek Prizeman : 
 Senior Wrangler i860; Judge of the Chancery Division of Higli 
 Court of Justice; Knight 1886; LL.D. 1887. 
 
 Thomas Barker, M.A. 1857 (see chap, xxviii) ; Senior 
 Wrangler 1S62 ; Professor of Mathematics, Owens College, 
 1865-85. 
 
 " I feel indebted to you for this honour on account of the 
 fame and reputation of this University, on account of its ancient 
 distinction — a distinction which has been enhanced of late years
 
 364 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 by Mathematical honours gained in an English University — 
 causing the names of your sons to be recorded in its honoured 
 annals." Earl Russell in opening sentence of his Rectorial 
 Address, nth Nov., 1864. — "Rectorial Addresses in the Uni- 
 versity of Aberdeen, 1835- 1900." Edited by P. J. Anderson, 
 M.A., LL.B. P. 138. 
 
 P. 115. Poor man. — The whole of this chapter should be 
 compared with the following extracts from Returns made to the 
 Aberdeen Universities Commission of 1857 by the University 
 and King's College : — 
 
 XII — Class Fees. 
 Junior Greek, Junior Mathematics, Junior Natural Philosophy, 
 
 Moral Philosophy, each £-i, 3s. Bursaries below £12 are charged 
 
 from £2. 2s. down to ;^i 2s. 2d. 
 Junior Humanity, ;^2 12s. 6d. Bursaries below ^12, from £1 15s. 
 
 down to IIS. 6d. 
 Chemistry (as a Class in Arts), £z 2s. Bursars pay from £\ iis. 6d. 
 
 down to IIS. id. 
 Senior Greek, £1 is. Bursaries below ;^i2, from 14s. down to 7s. 4d. 
 Senior Humanity, £\ 5s. Bursaries below £\'2., from i6s. 8d. down 
 
 to Ss. gd. 
 Senior Mathematics, £\ is. 
 Senior Natural Philosophy, £\ is. (but provisionally, los. 6d.). 
 
 XIII — Lodgings, etc., of Students, 1856-57. 
 
 In Old Aberdeen, etc. In Aberdeen, etc. 
 First Class, ... 44 56 
 
 Second Class, ... 22 38 
 
 Third Class, ... 22 33 
 
 Fourth Class, ... 14 22 
 
 102 149 
 
 Per cent, 40.6 59.4 
 
 XIV — Quarters from which Students are derived. 
 Session 1854-55. 
 From Aberdeen and immediate neighbourhood, 
 From the rest of the County of Aberdeen, 
 From do. of Banff, .... 
 
 From the other Northern Counties, 
 From the Counties south of the Dee, . * 
 
 Private Students (not known), . 
 
 221 
 
 
 Per cent 
 
 37 
 
 17.1 
 
 . 63 
 
 29.0 
 
 34 
 
 15-7 
 
 49 
 
 22.5 
 
 34 
 
 15-7 
 
 217 
 
 1 00.0 
 
 4 

 
 •- NOTES 365 
 
 XV — Return of Professions which the Magistrands of 
 1857-58 intend to pursue. 
 
 Number. Per cent. 
 
 Divinity, 21 47.6 
 
 Scholastic, 7 16.0 
 
 Medicine, 5 11.4 
 
 Law, ......... I 2.3 
 
 H.E.I.C. Civil Service Competition, . . i 2.3 
 
 Doubtful, 6 13.6 
 
 No returns, 3 6.8 
 
 44 1 00.0 
 
 XVII — Average Age of Students at Graduation in Arts and 
 Medicine, and of Students in Arts at Entrance. 
 
 The average age of the Magistrands or Students of the Fourth 
 Year, Session 1857-58, will be 21J years at the end of March. This 
 may, without any sensible error, be taken as the average age of 
 graduation. The minimum age for the degrees of M.B. and M.D. is 
 21. But the average is several years higher. 
 
 The average age of the Students of the First Year at entrance, in 
 1857-58, was 17J years. 
 
 P. 118. Spa Well. — For the picture of the Well of Spa at 
 this time, prior to its transference to its present site, see 
 "Historical Aberdeen". By G. M. Fraser. Aberdeen, 1905. 
 For the qualities of the well, see p. 137, and Chambers's 
 " Biographical Dictionary of Eminent Scotsmen ". s.i'. 
 "Jamesone", III, 243; and Mrs. Rodger's "Aberdeen 
 Doctors", pp. 5, 6. 
 
 P. 121. Adams. — James Adams, Orchard Cottage; son of 
 William Adams, farmer, Auchin ove, Lumphanan ; M.A. 1855 ; 
 Schoolmaster of Tarland. Died Feb. 12, i860. 
 
 P. 121. AW///.— Alexander Dalziel Keith; iM.B., CM. 
 26th April, 1862 ; Craigveigh, Aboyne, 1906. 
 
 P. 122. Cigars. — The use of cigars, in place of pipes, is 
 rather noteworthy at that early period. " We had no smokers 
 at King's College in the thirties. I am quite sure I never saw 
 a student smoke in those days, either indoors or out of doors." 
 — Walker: "Reminiscences". v.s., p. 226. He adds that at 
 Marischal College in the twenties only one smoked, and was 
 looked at askance as "a dirty fellow". The reason was that
 
 366 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 the pulpit and the parish school, the goal of many of the 
 students, frowned on the use of tobacco. To-day, I fear, the 
 non-smoker is the exception. 
 
 P. 126. Song of the StudeiiL — This parody of Hood is 
 taken from the ''Aberdeen University Magazine" for June, 
 1854, p. 91. 
 
 P. 130. The Mermaid. — The author of this well-known 
 song has not been traced. A different version, ascribed to 
 " A. J. C", appears in the " Students' Song Book ". 
 
 P. 135. The Crtiiskeen Lmun.—''^ It would be difficult to 
 imagine a more jovial, sly, rollicking, and altogether irresistible 
 bacchanalian song than the immortal 'Cruiskeen Lawn'. The 
 English words and the Irish blend together most happily. The 
 chorus is pronounced something like 
 
 Gra-ma-chree ma crooskeen 
 
 Shlantya gal ma-voorneen 
 
 'S gra-ma-chree a cooleen ban, etc. 
 
 a being pronounced as in 'shawl'. The meaning is 
 
 Love of my heart, my little jug! 
 
 Bright health to my darling ! 
 
 The love of my heart is her fair hair, etc. 
 
 The origin of the poem is lost in obscurity. It probably sprang 
 up, in its present form, in the convivial circles of eighteenth- 
 century Ireland, and no doubt has a reminiscence of some 
 Gaelic original. Z«// = full." — Stopford Brooke's "Treasury of 
 Irish Poetry", p. 12. For the music, see "One Hundred Songs 
 of Ireland". London, 1857. 192 High Holborn. 
 
 P. 151. Dr. Robertson. — ''' Filius Gulielmi., agricola in 
 Pitsligo". Gray Mathematical Bursar, Mar. Coll., 1819; M.A. 
 1820; Headmaster, Gordon's Hospital; Minister of Ellon; 
 D.D. 1843. For pen portraits of Robertson, Pirie of Dyce, and 
 Paull of Tullynessle, see Hugh Miller's account of the 1841 
 Assembly in "The \\^itness" for May 25. 
 
 P. 156. Lecture on the Mo?iday morning. — The Lectureship 
 on Practical Religion, held by Professor Macpherson on Mon- 
 days at 9 a.m. — Minutes of Senatus, 28th October, 1853. 
 
 P. 158. Farthings . . . of fine. — Farthings are legal tender 
 only up to sixpence.
 
 >= NOTES 367 
 
 P. i6o. Pec-ta-taes. — "Especially interesting are the College 
 memories awakened when, after years of absence during which 
 the union of the Universities had been effected, he [Andrew 
 Halliday Duff, Mar. Coll. 1844-46] returned from London to 
 the Broadgate to mourn over his 'Alma Mater', left desolate 
 by the removal of the scarlet gowns to the Aulton. But the 
 spirit of humour and fun, characteristic of all his work, ripples 
 over in the next page, as he describes Professor Blackie's comic 
 tale of the Highland student accused of desecrating his gown by 
 wearing it while he perambulated the streets with a barrow, 
 crying 'tatties', a charge which it is needless to say was denied, 
 although the hawking of potatoes was admitted." — "The 
 Aberdeen University Educator" (Aberdeen Quatercentenary 
 Studies). By J. F. Kellas Johnstone. 1906. 
 
 P. 167. Via Latiua. — For the "Via Dorica" see chap. iii. 
 "Humanity had been taught in the Moral Philosophy room till 
 1852, when it succeeded to the old Divinity room on the second 
 floor of the square tower, the Professor of Divinity appointed 
 that year teaching in the Chapel." — "Aurora Borealis", p. 35S. 
 " In Dr. Mearns's time, and previously, the Divinity classroom 
 was the middle one in the square tower, but, upon his death, 
 Ferguson, the Professor of Latin, obtained possession of it, and 
 the College Chapel was accordingly benched to serve as a class- 
 room for the new Professor of Divinity. Macpherson continued 
 teaching there until 1863, when the two new classrooms in 
 Divinity were built on the site of the old Public School." — P. 159. 
 
 P. 168. Ce77sor . . . roll. — For a similar scene, cf. 
 "Meminisse Juvat". v.s. pp. 32, 33. 
 
 P. 173. Iliad and Odyssey. — From Coleridge: "Fancy in 
 Nubibus" — 
 
 Oh ! it is pleasant, with a heart at ease, 
 
 Just after sunset, or by moonlight skies, 
 To make the shifting clouds be what you please, 
 
 Or let the easily-persuaded eyes 
 Own each quaint likeness . . . 
 Or, listening to the tide, with closed sight, 
 
 Be that blind bard who, on the Chian strand, 
 By those deep sounds possessed with inward light, 
 
 Beheld the Iliad and the Odyssey 
 
 Rise to the swellinr; of the voiceful sea.
 
 368 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 P. 174. Old^ cracked bfll. — " Clatter Vengeance." Cast in 
 1660, demitted office 1868 ; preserved in King's College Library. 
 
 P. 180. Norwegian . . . ivJiolc of Scots. — It is the other 
 way. Sir Piers de Curry challenged the Norwegians at Largs. 
 SeeTytler: " History of Scotland ", I, p. 16, ed. 1892. 
 
 P. 196. Downie's slmicJitcr. — Not a hint of this tragic 
 occurrence is to be found in any College record, and it is difficult 
 to understand how there came to be localised in Aberdeen a 
 legend the machinery of which smacks rather of German 
 student life or the Holy Vehm. 
 
 Mr. George Walker, in his entertaining volume, "Aberdeen 
 Awa", p. 355, maintains the thesis that the story "owes its 
 creation to that clever wag, Sandy Bannerman [afterwards 
 Sir Alexander Bannerman, M.P.], and that, if it is the poorest 
 history, it is a bit of the richest romance. The story was never 
 heard of before 1824, etc." It must be admitted that the story 
 has not yet been traced, in print., further back than 1824, when 
 it appeared in "Things in General", now known to have 
 been written by Robert Mudie. But, apart from the question 
 whether Bannerman can be credited with originating so e.xtra- 
 ordinarily dramatic an incident, it is not easy to reconcile a first 
 appearance of the story in a somewhat obscure book, published 
 anonymously in London, with the fact that, but a very few years 
 later, as Mr. Walker tells from his own recollection, the legend 
 was such a household word in Aberdeen that students were 
 habitually greeted by school children with the cry, "Airt an' 
 pairt in Downie's slauchter",* and the rhyme^ 
 
 They took a man and killed him deid, 
 
 And stappit him in a holey. 
 Buttery Willie ! Buttery Willie ! ! 
 
 Buttery Willie Coley ! ! ! 
 
 Further, Dr. John Gumming (" Prophecy" Gumming), in his 
 " Millenial Rest", relates the story thus : — " I remember at the 
 College at which I graduated hearing the story of a sacristan 
 who was very fond of informing the professors of the mis- 
 demeanours of the students, perhaps in the exercise of his duty. 
 The students were exasperated against him, and one day told 
 him that they had doomed him to death. They blindfolded him 
 
 *A curious echo of the phrase, "Airt and pairt in Darnley's 
 slauchter", current regarding the Earl of Morton, a.d. 1567-81.
 
 NOTES 369 
 
 in the large College hall, after spreading sawdust on the floor, 
 and then informed him that they meant to decapitate him. One 
 of the students drew a wet cloth across his throat, and he died 
 instantly on the spot — the fear of death making death actual." 
 Now, Gumming entered King's College in 1822. The subject 
 was discussed in the pages of "Scottish Notes and Queries" in 
 igo2, and Mr. Walker's views were challenged by several 
 correspondents, who quoted forms of the story related by their 
 parents or grandparents, and pointed out that the reputed place 
 of burial of Downie, near the border wall of Ashgrove, is 
 marked " Downie's Howe" m Milne's map of Aberdeen, dated 
 1789. 
 
 Incidents which anticipate the Downie legend are given in 
 Dunton's "Athenian Oracle". (Lond., 1704. Vol I, p. 237: 
 " Whether 'tis possible for any Person to die of conceit"*) ; and 
 in Montaigne's "Essays". (1580. " II y en a, qui de frayeur 
 anticipent la main du bourreau, et celuy qu'on debandoit 
 pour lui lire sa grace se trouva roide mort sur I'echaffaut du 
 seul coup de son imagination.") 
 
 Since Mudie's "Things in General" was published in 
 1824, the Downie legend has appeared in many guises : — 
 
 1830. In "The Land of Cakes : Aberdeen Awa'", an article 
 [by Pryse Lockhart Gordon, King's College, 1776-8], in 
 Colburn's "New Monthly Magazine" for June. 
 
 1852. "Who murdered Downie?" an article [by Andrew 
 Halliday Duff, Marischal College, 1844-6] in " Household 
 Words" for 24th August. Reprinted in the same magazine, 
 i6th Feb., 1884, and in "The Schoolmistress", loth April, 
 1884. This version locates the tragedy in Marischal College. 
 
 1859. " Murder by Jest", in " Beeton's Boy's Own Magazine", 
 Vol. Ill, p. 250. 
 
 1868. In "Aberdeen Fifty Years Ago". By James Rettie. 
 Pp. 126-9. 
 
 1874. In "Life at a Northern University". By Neil N. 
 Maclean. Pp. 167-178. 
 
 1S88. "Sensational Crimes : a Murdered Sacrist". By J, M. 
 Bulloch, in " Bon-Accord" for 12th May, p. 20. 
 
 * Some have been wounded with conceit 
 And died of meer opinion straight. 
 
 — "Hudibras" II, i. 
 
 25
 
 370 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 1892. " Ze Tragical Wyrd of John Uownie", in "Alma 
 Mater" for 14th December. Twenty-one stanzas. 
 
 1897. In " Aberdeen Awa'." By George Walker. Pp. 343-6. 
 
 1900. "Airt and pairt in Downie's Slauchter : an Aberdeen 
 Tragedy of the Olden Time." By W. A. G. Farquhar in the 
 *' Evening Express" of 27th November. Twenty-two stanzas. 
 
 1901. "Downie's Slauchter." By "Omega" in "Normal 
 Echoes" for November and for January, 1902. Vol. II, Nos. i, 2. 
 
 1903. " The Ghosts of Downie's Slauchter : Weird Doings in 
 Downie's House." By John Winter in the " People's Journal" for 
 5 th December. 
 
 1906. "The Murder of Downie." By Rev. Arthur Hursell 
 {Marischal College, 1852), in " Good Words" for April : with an 
 illustration of the mock trial ! 
 
 The only Downie found among the officials of the Aberdeen 
 Universities was the Librarian of that name, who died in his bed 
 in 1663. [P- J- A.] 
 
 For the residence of students in King's College up to 1825, 
 see the Return, dated 9th October, 1826, made by the Senatus 
 of King's College to an Order of the Scottish Universities Com- 
 mission appointed on 23rd July of that year — 
 
 Order LVIL — Were any Buildings in the said University at 
 any time appropriated for the Residence of Students, and any Funds 
 destined or employed in the Repair and Maintenance thereof; and if 
 such buildings are not so occupied, when did such a change take 
 place^under what authority— and how are the funds now employed, 
 which were destined or formerly employed in the repair or maintenance 
 of such buildings ? 
 
 Return by the Senatus Academicus. 
 
 R. — From the very foundation of the College, part of the 
 buildings were appropriated for the residence of Students ; but the 
 Funds destined for the repairs of the rooms so employed, were not 
 separated, either by the Founder from those destined for the support of 
 the fabric in general, or by the College in the course of subsequent 
 management. It is now more than 50 years since it ceased to be 
 imperative on students to reside within the College, though a very 
 few 'have always chosen to do so, till the time when the present 
 repairs were begun, about 18 months ago. During this period, the 
 buildings set apart for the students, so far as the funds would permit, 
 have always received the attention of the College, as well as the other 
 parts of the fabric. And when, about seven years ago. Dr. Simpson
 
 NOTES 371 
 
 of Worcester gave the College £500 for repairs, the sum was laid out 
 on that part of the fabric employed for public purposes ; £100 of it 
 being expended in procuring new windows for rooms formerly devoted 
 to the residence of students. It is therefore evident that the Funds 
 destined for the Repair or Maintenance of the Buildings formerly 
 occupied by Students, have not been diverted to purposes foreign to 
 the intention of the Founder. 
 
 The words italicised show that a few students were in resi- 
 dence in session 1824-25, and none thereafter. 
 
 cf. Scottish Notes and Queries^ August, 1902, p. yy, and 
 Cosmo Innes's " Fasti ", preface, p. lii. Compulsory residence 
 had been revived by the Senatus in 1753, but it had been found 
 useless ; it diminished, till it finally ceased in 1825. Thomas 
 Reid, writing on Sept. 4, 1755, to Archibald Dunbar, of Newton, 
 at Duffus, says : " While the students were scattered over the 
 town in private quarters, and might dispose of themselves as 
 they pleased but at school hours, we found it impossible to keep 
 them from low or bad company, if they were so disposed. But 
 they are on a very different footing since they lived within the 
 College : we need not but look out at our windows to see when 
 they rise and when they go to bed. They are seen nine or ten 
 times throughout the day statedly by one or other of the 
 masters — at public prayers, school hours, meals, and in their 
 rooms, besides occasional visits which we can make with little 
 trouble to ourselves. They are shut up within walls at nine at 
 night. We charge those that are known to be trusty and 
 diligent with the oversight of such as we suspect to be other- 
 wise. . . . Some one of the masters always dines at the 
 second table as well as at the first. The rent of a room is from 
 seven to twenty shiHings in the session. There is no furniture 
 in their rooms, but bedsteads, tables, chimney-grate, and fender 
 — the rest, viz., feather-bed, bed-clothes, chairs, tongs, and bed- 
 hangings if they chuse any, they must buy or hire, for the 
 session, and indeed the people that let those things are very apt 
 to exact upon them, so that it is much better, especially if one is 
 to be some sessions at the College, to have them of their own, and 
 dispose of them when they leave the College. Whatever they 
 leave in their rooms is taken care of till next session. They 
 provide fire and candles and washing to themselves. The Pro- 
 fessor of Medicine orders the diet and regimen of those that are 
 valetudinary, and attends the bursars and poorer sort in case of
 
 372 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 sickness, gratis." For the week's dinners at the first and second 
 tables in 1753, see "Ahna Mater", xviii, p. 139. 
 
 " He j^athered his chattels and books around him in an 
 upper storey of the Fraser Buildings, then forming the south 
 side of the old King's College quadrangle, and there, in a suite 
 of rooms formed out of the old and disused dormitories of 
 students where they lived in the ancient days, he made for 
 himself a modern snuggery, and eke gave dinners. In that 
 wing of the College buildings he remained until the demolition 
 and rebuilding in i860." —   Principal Sir. W. Geddes. s.v. 
 "Andrew Scott" in '' Aurora Borealis", p. 141. 
 
 P. 197. Velvet . . . on our jed cloaks. — " There is an eventful 
 history connected with the form of these sleeves ; they are — as 
 now worn at Marischal College — flat or slit, like those of the 
 Geneva gown ; formerly they hung from the shoulders in long 
 bags after the episcopal fashion. In their warfares, the learned 
 heroes used to fill these with books, stones, mud, or anything 
 they could get hold of, thus transforming them into useful 
 offensive weapons ; a practice which required to be put a stop 
 to by the enactment of a sumptuary law altering the form of the 
 sleeves."— J. H. Burton : " Tait's Magazine", May, 1833. 
 
 P. 198. Andrew Halliday. — Andrew Halliday Dufif, son of 
 Rev. William Duff, minister of Grange ; dramatist and 
 journalist. Died 1877. Alumnus of Marischal College 1844-6. 
 
 P. 203. ^ncas iMacpherson^ 12 Frederick Street ; from 
 Kingussie; alumnus of King's College 1853-5; Chaplain, District 
 Asylum, Stirling. 
 
 P. 212. Greig. — John Greig ; from KinneiT, Bervie ; M.A. 
 1857 ; M.D. i860 ; surgeon in Army. Died 1864. 
 
 P. 212. Ross. — James Ross, 25 College Bounds ; from 
 Maiden Street, Peterhead; M.A. 1857; D.D. 1893; Arch- 
 deacon of Armidale, N.S.W. Died Sept 16, 1902. 
 
 P. 212. Forbes. — Archibald Forbes, Boharm, b.s. 1853-5 ; 
 LL.D. 1884; the War Correspondent. Born April 17, 1838; 
 died March 29, 1900 ; buried in AUenvale Cemetery. Memorial 
 to him in the ante-chapel of King's College. 
 
 P. 213. " TioJit Little Island:'— V>y Dibdin. See " Musical 
 Bouquet", 192 High Holborn, 1856.
 
 NOTES 373 
 
 P. 214. Red(atioJis.— '''To be or not to be" ("Hamlet")- 
 " My name is Nerval" (Home's "Douglas"). "My Cousin 
 Richard" has escaped detection. 
 
 P. 21S. '"'' Lochiel a7id the Wizard^ — By Campbell. 
 
 P. 218. '■'■Name is Macgregor." — "Rob Roy" (chap, xxxiv), 
 but preserving an allusion, doubtless, to the mounting of the 
 play in 1855 in the Marischal Street Theatre, when the part 
 of Rob was taken with great success by Mr, Alexander McLean, 
 son-in-law of Mrs. Pollock, the lessee. 
 
 P. 220. '■'Jean Vati . . . Alphabet P — For this song of the 
 Belgian students, see "Notes and Queries", June 9th, 1906, 
 p. 451. It is remarkable to find this ancient Latin song 
 surviving in Aberdeen at this date, considering that the 
 Gaudeamus, though standard at St. Andrews for half a century 
 previous, was introduced into Aberdeen in 1875 through the 
 Choral Society's leader, Herr K. W. Meid.— "Alma Mater", 
 6th March, 1889, p. 170. For long it escaped detection and 
 research. Mr. F. Madan, M.A., of the Bodleian Library, 
 Oxford, is inclined to regard it as "not earlier than the 15th 
 century, if so early ". 
 
 "We happened to be at Einsiedeln when the summer 
 vacation commenced. The Sunday before breaking-up, all the 
 boys assembled in the court below the Abbot's apartments and 
 gave a vocal and instrumental concert. All the windows on that 
 side of the monastery were thrown wide open and at them were 
 gathered the Fathers, in whose honour the performance was 
 given, while the whole of the vacant space was crowded by a 
 delighted audience. The song with which the concert concluded 
 is centuries old, and it is only lately that the music and words 
 have been printed. It has fifteen verses, of which the following 
 will serve as a specimen : — 
 
 A, A, A, Valete studia, 
 
 Omnia jam taedia 
 
 Vertuntur in gaudia, 
 A, A, A, Valete studia. 
 
 E, E, E, Ite miseriae, 
 
 Ite, ite, lacrymae, 
 
 Laeti sumus hodie ; 
 E, E, E, Ite miseriae !
 
 374 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 I, I, I, Vale professor mi ! 
 
 Valeas ad optimum, 
 
 Cures me ad minimum. 
 I, I, I, Vale professor mi ! 
 
 O, O, O, Magno cum gaudio 
 
 Einsidlam relinquimus, 
 
 Patriam repetimus 
 O, O, O, Magno cum gaudio. 
 
 U, U, U, Laeto cum spiritu 
 
 Libros nunc abjicimus, 
 
 Poculum accipimus. 
 U, U, U, Laeto cum spiritu. 
 
 The remaining verses are in German ; the tune, a very lively 
 one, rang in our ears for long afterwards. Then the boys, 
 amidst much applause, set off on a march round the precincts 
 of the monastery, still singing to the accompaniment of their 
 band their "A, A, A, Valete", etc.— " Einsiedeln in the Dark 
 Wood." London, 1883. P. 172. 
 
 Ten German verses may be found in " Musicalisches Quod- 
 libet". Einsiedeln, 1881. P. 32. It will be seen that the Latin 
 in the text is of a much more vigorous and genuine type than 
 the newly recovered version, and is thoroughly medieval in ring. 
 
 P. 221. '■'' Auhi Too7i Cle/'kP — This ancient song,"The Aulton 
 Clerk" — the clerk is clerical and not municipal — is an attack 
 on the pre-Reformation clergy. See the lines commencing, "As 
 I gaed doun tae Colliston, some white fish for to buy ", in 
 " Ancient Ballads and Songs of the North of Scotland ", by 
 Peter Buchan. Edinburgh, 1828. Vol. I, p. 278. 
 
 P. 221. "The Silver Eel." — See "Scottish Notes and 
 Queries", May- August, 1906. 
 
 P. 223. Lockhart and the rest. — The account in text is based 
 on an incident suppHed by one of the actors : "Lockhart lived one 
 year in Charlotte Street, and John Adam, the bookseller, lived 
 next door. One night Lockhart, Morrison from Grange — who 
 succeeded Dr. Milne of Fyvie in Jamaica and died three years 
 ago, Gerrard from Grange — who died teacher of Kennethmont 
 School, Donald Stewart (chap, vii), and others, after speeches, 
 went out. Donald and Gerrard went home, or went to go. The rest 
 made for Union Street, singing for all we were worth, then up
 
 NOTES 375 
 
 Broad Street, where we met some sailors. Such a row took 
 place ! The police took us all to the office. Evidence was led, 
 and Lockhart was 'celled', notwithstanding earnest appeals 
 made on his behalf. Morrison and I went back to John Adam 
 and got money to bail him out, which was done and the bail 
 forfeited." 
 
 P. 223. Forbes Mackenzie Acf.—'Qy William Forbes Mac- 
 kenzie (1801-62), M.P. for Peeblesshire, 1837-52 : Act 16 and 
 17 Victoria, cap. 67, for the Better Regulation of Public Houses 
 in Scotland, 15th Aug., 1S53. For the feeling against the bill 
 and its action, at the time of the text, see "' Reporting Remini- 
 scences ", by W. Carnie. Aberdeen, 1902. Pp. 92, 113, 130. 
 
 P. 226. 25 Silver Street. A slip for 16. Sir William 
 Henderson (chap, vi) lived in number 13. 
 
 P. 244. White stone. — See Ellis on Catullus, LXVIH, 
 148; Horace: "Odes", I, 36, 10; Persius, II, i, 2. 
 
 P. 254. One of the professors. — A recollection of this inci- 
 dent and hoax, considerably anterior to this time, however, 
 seems to connect it with Professor " Habe" Macpherson. 
 
 P. 259. Ram-reels. — John Hill Burton, describing the 
 Graduation Ball at Marischal College, writes as follows in 
 "Tait's Magazine", May, 1833: "What on earth are they 
 about now? They have commenced a ram-reel., and the 
 remaining ladies have fled in terror. The mirth and fun get 
 fast and furious. The dignity of professors is not much 
 respected ; and perhaps some of the sturdiest of the revellers 
 will lay hold of the fat sacristan, and tumble him round the 
 room like a football." For the ram-reels in the "Lobby", see 
 chap. XXV. 
 
 P. 261. Regular hole-and-corner affair. — For the nepotism 
 of the Chalmers family at King's College, see Mrs. Rodger's 
 "Aberdeen Doctors", pp. 78, 79. 
 
 P. 261. Address in Latin. — The adsum in roll-call alone 
 preserves the memory of this. James Eraser fM.A. 1664, died 
 1731, the donor of the Eraser Buildings, demolished in 1860-2, 
 " CoUegii Regii Maecenas"), is said "to have been a great 
 favourite with George I, who spoke little English, and perhaps 
 benefited by Eraser's remembrance of the King's College 
 colloquial Latin ".—Cosmo Innes's "Fasti", Spalding Club, 1854 ; 
 pref. Ixi. John Hill Burton ("Scot Abroad", pp. 182-3) notes
 
 376 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 that Latin was used not only as a means of teaching Latin, but 
 as a token of isolation from the illiterate, and that in Scotland, 
 as in Holland, it was retained as the language of literature after 
 England, France, Italy, and Spain were making vernacular 
 literature for themselves. In the visitorial regulations of King's 
 College, 1 546, the serving boys, garciones, or gargons were to use 
 Latin, " ne denl occasioneju magistris et stiidentibus lingua 
 vernacula uti". As a tribute to the "auld ally" — an early case 
 of the entettte cofdiale (1906) — French was allowed. '•'' Sermo 
 onmium et singuloruin jibiqiie Latimis, Graecus, ant Hebraeus 
 esto ; propter a}7tiquiiiji inter Scotos et Gallos foedus Gallicum 
 nostra addit finidatio."—'' Fasti Aberd.", p. 241. For the 
 "Humanistic" attack on Gaelic — enough to make Professor 
 Blackie and the modern Celtic Revivalists turn in their graves — 
 seethe great declaration by Buchanan (" History", I, viii), who, 
 as Skene showed, spoke Gaelic himself. For the medieval 
 Latin revival and for Rabelais' parody on Ronsard's Latinized 
 French, see Besant's "Rabelais", pp. 81-2. For the Humanists 
 els " a separate caste, hostile to the vernacular", see the weighty 
 remarks by McCrie in his "Andrew Melville", p. 397, ed. 1856. 
 For the educational use of French in old Scotland, see James 
 Melville's " Diary", pp. 15-16 ; and for the whole question of the 
 knowledge of Greek at the time, before and after the Reforma- 
 tion, see McCrie's "Knox" (Centenary ed. 1873), p. 3 and 
 pp. 307-8, a masterly specimen of the massy erudition of that 
 great scholar. 
 
 P. 261. (2iii jiinipavit.—'-'-'Y\\Q tradition was not very long 
 before my time. I think about the time that the first Com- 
 mission began to suggest reforms." — " Reminiscences", by Rev. 
 Dr. Walker, v.s.^ p. 79. 
 
 P. 263. In past . . . with College property. — See "Hot 
 Pressed Doctors Outwitted ; or, Who's Afraid?" By Hugo de la 
 Roy [Hugh Leslie of Powis]. Edinburgh, 1808. In connection 
 with the admission of Dr. Jack as Sub-Principal, Professor 
 Ogilvie, Jan. 3, 1801, protested against the mode of electing 
 the Rector, and said, "under cover of this supposition the 
 College meetings have, during the last fifty years, ventured 
 on various proceedings in the management of the College 
 Estate, and in the concerns of the Bursars, which no Rector 
 chosen by the Suppositi [under-graduates] would have suffered 
 to pass unrescinded". — " Rectorial Addresses ", 7/.-s-., p. 337.
 
 NOTES 377 
 
 P. 266. Ferguson. — James Ferguson, 1710-76. Born near 
 Keith. 
 
 P. 269. Dr. Melvin. — See Professor Masson's '' James 
 Melvin". Aberdeen, 1895. His portrait is in the Grammar 
 School (by Cassie), in the window of Marischal College in 
 the Mitchell Hall, and in the memorial window (with Buchanan, 
 Johnston, and Ruddiman) in the Library, King's College. 
 M.A., Mar. Coll., 1813 ; LL.D. 1834. Died 28th June, 1853. 
 
 P. 270. Walking to College. — The Skye men crossed at 
 Glenelg, through Glenshiel, down Glen Moriston, to Loch 
 Ness ; from Inverness by way of Forres, Keith, and Huntly to 
 Aberdeen. Sage describes leaving Kildonan for Turnbull's 
 Inn at Tain, taking the ferry at Invergorden, and breaking 
 down from exhaustion at Inverurie. Professor John Tulloch, 
 from the Reay country, used to tell Dr. Kennedy, of Dingwall, 
 how he would trudge back there from Aberdeen for twopence. 
 The first stretch of the road was from Aberdeen to Keith, when 
 the turnpike from Aberdeen to Thurso did not exist, and "no 
 part of the old road could be more rugged than that from 
 Huntly to Keith " (Sage). For the covering of fifty miles, from 
 Aberdeen to Banff, on 22nd Dec, 1883, by a Magistrand, Mr. 
 Hugh Mowat, see "Alma Mater", New Year number. Vol I, 
 p. 21. 
 
 P. 294. Professor of Signs— TX-^xs story, with the scene laid 
 at Aberdeen, will be found in " The Scrapbook : A Collection 
 of Amusing and Striking Pieces in Prose and Verse, with an 
 Introduction and Occasional Remarks and Contributions ". By 
 John M'Diarmid [editor of the ''Dumfries and Galloway Courier"], 
 of which the first edition was published at Edinburgh in 1821. 
 M'Diarmid says, in his introduction, that " wherever an article 
 appeared to bear the impress of original genius, he hesitated 
 not to give it a place in the following pages ; although perhaps 
 it could boast of no higher lineage than what belongs to the 
 columns of a weekly journal". It is possible that the Professor 
 of Signs may be discovered in the "Aberdeen Journal", which 
 would be among M'Diarmid's exchanges ; but Joseph Robert- 
 son, in his "Deliciae Literariae " (Lond., 1840), has traced the 
 story (minus the .Aberdeen locus) back, through John Taylor's 
 "Elements of the Civil Law" and Robert Marant's " Speculum 
 Aureum", to the " Glossa Ordinaria" of the Florentine jurist
 
 378 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 Franciscus Accursius. The germ of the story, as of many 
 another story, is in " Rabelais ", ii, 19 — " How Panurge puts to 
 a nonplus the Englishman that argued by signs". [P. J. A.] 
 
 P. 295. Fuller. — How nearly the University lost the services 
 of Fuller will be learned from Rev. Dr. Walker's " Reminis- 
 cences ", p. 109. "The Senate met in June, 1851, to appoint a 
 successor to Profesor Tulloch. Eight professors were present, 
 and, on a division, they stood four to four. The aged Principal 
 [Jack] was one of the eight, and occupied the chair, and though 
 the oldest Professor, he yet voted with the youthful progressives, 
 but, being quite blind, he was ill-fitted to maintain order on such 
 a critical occasion. Accordingly, when the votes were declared 
 equal, the opposing party, knowing that the Principal had the 
 casting vote, rose from their seats and hurried towards the door 
 with the view, as it seemed, of preventing the making of any 
 appointment at that time. Suspecting their purpose, however, 
 ' Hebrew' Scott, a tall, powerful man, rushed to the door, put his 
 back to it, and stood there immovably till the fugitives had 
 resumed their seats and order was restored. The business was 
 then concluded by the Principal giving his casting vote in favour 
 of the candidate of the progressive party — Mr. Frederick 
 Fuller, Fourth Wranglerat Cambridge in 1843." 
 
 P. 300. Lobby. — "At Christmas time festivities were like- 
 wise held there (in the Public School), and, among the writer's 
 recollections was a ball, in which music was discoursed by the 
 blind fiddler, John Ross. . . . The building on the south side 
 was of three storeys, with stone staircases in the interior, giving 
 access — one at the east-end, one at the west-end, and one in the 
 middle of the pile — and these storeys were occupied by a range 
 of small apartments or dormitories alongside of each other, like 
 the bedrooms of a hotel. . . . The eastern half of the 
 upper portion was chiefly empty, except that the Professor of 
 Oriental Languages had established himself in the second floor, 
 and the attic over him was appropriated for the institution called 
 'the Lobby', where the students had their dance of a Saturday 
 evening in a room over his apartments. The other half, or 
 western section, was occupied in all its storeys as a professor's 
 residence, and the professor entitled to this residence was then 
 the one known as the Fourth Regent, the other three Regents 
 being accommodated in manses outside the College". — Principal
 
 NOTES 379 
 
 Sir W. Geddes in "Alma Mater", Jan. nth. 1901. The last 
 resident Regent in this way was Professor Hercules Scott. 
 
 P. 302. How it originated. — It appears not older than the 
 days of Thomas Reid. See Professor Campbell Fraser's " Life 
 of Reid", p. 49. "How long", he says, " this civilizing art 
 was cultivated in Reid's College I have not discovered", cf. 
 Introduction. 
 
 P. 303. Neighbouring seaport. — Aberdeen, the Piraeus, as it 
 were, or Leith, of the retired Old Aberdeen. For the attack by 
 sailors with a battering ram on the College gates — " I had the 
 tale from an eye-witness half-a-century ago" — see Professor 
 Norman Macpherson's "Notes on the Chapel, Crown, and 
 other Ancient Buildings of King's College". Aberdeen, 1890. 
 
 P. 307. John Ross . . . home. — 8 College Bounds. 
 
 P. 309. Francis Gellie. — 14 College Bounds ; from King- 
 Edward ; M.A. 1856. Rev. Dr. Smith, M.A. 1856, Newhills, 
 writes on Oct. 31, 1905—" Colonel Sykes, Lord Rector of 
 Marischal College, secured two commissions in the Indian 
 Army — one for a student of Marischal and the other for a 
 student at Kings — in 1855-6. We all concurred in Gellie 
 getting the latter commission. I had the pleasure of meeting 
 him after he retired from the Army and came home ". Gellie 
 was elected on 12th April, 1856 — the other graduate candidates 
 being Alexander Brotchie and William Robertson — after an 
 examination lasting four days of six hours each. I am indebted 
 to Colonel Johnston, Newton Dee, Murtle, the indefatigable 
 recorder of the graduates, for Gellie's record : 
 
 " Francis Gellie, b. 6th Nov., 1834 ; ensign H.E.I.C.S., 20th 
 Oct., 1856; lieutenant Bengal Staff Corps, 17th Nov., 1857; 
 captain, 20th Oct., 1868 ; major, 20th Oct., 1876; lieut.-colonel, 
 20th Oct., 1882 ; retired as lieut.-colonel with honorary rank of 
 major-general, 13th Nov., 1886. Major-General F. Gellie was 
 with the 9th Native Infantry at Allyghur when it mutinied in 
 May, 1857. Served with the 1st Gwalior Cavalry in May and 
 June, 1857, and was present when half of that regiment mutinied 
 at Hathras. Served in the gun escort in the action of the 5th 
 July, near Agra, with the Neeinutch mutineers, and with the 
 Agra Militia at the Battle of Agra, on the loth Oct., 1857, and 
 pursuit of the mutineers. Served with the 3rd Bengal European 
 Regiment in minor afifiiirs in the Agra district in Jan. and Feb.
 
 380 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 1858; and with the Allyghur Levy in the Bundelcund Field 
 Force, in 1859 (medal). Commanded the left wing of the 39th 
 Bengal Native Infantry during the Bhutan campaign in 
 1865-6 (medal with clasp). Served in the Afghan War in 
 1879, first with the Khyber Brigade and afterwards with the 
 Cabul Field Force (medal)." 
 
 P. 309. Professor A /idcrson.— The "Wizard of the North". 
 Born, 1814, at Kincardine O'Neil ; died at Darlington, 1874. 
 Buried in St. Nicholas Churchyard. At the time of the text he 
 was exhibiting in the County Rooms. See a letter on the family 
 by his brother, Alexander, in the Aberdeen "Evening Express", 
 Oct. 24, 1905. 
 
 P. 311. A/w tcii:pore.—T\\e report of the Augur in holding 
 the Comitia, if favourable, was Niintiatio ; if unfavourable, was 
 Obnu7itiatio. " In the latter case he postponed the proposed 
 assembly by pronouncing the words alio die:' — Ramsay's 
 "Roman Antiquities", p. 112, ed. 1862. 
 
 P. 313. Parabola . . . "■ Freddy:''— ''■YoVi will remember 
 the transition, almost without perceptible pause, from the 'for 
 ever and ever. Amen ' of the opening prayer, to the ' Yesterday, 
 gentlemen, I was discussing the arear of the parabolar'." — 
 Shewan's " Meminisse Juvat", p. 14. 
 
 P. 315. Aphorism 0/ Bacon. — '' ¥i\s (Fuller's) favourite 
 maxim was Bacon's 'Writing maketh an Exact Man'. We 
 were never to assume we knew a proof till we could write it 
 out."— Shewan's '• Meminisse Juvat", p. 14 ^?. 
 
 P. 321. S/07'e in Library.— "-The Library had originally 
 been placed in an erection which projected from the north side 
 of the Chapel into the quadrangle, one of the benefactions of 
 Bishop Stewart. It was rebuilt in 1725 by Dr. Eraser. . . . 
 After the fire the books were arranged in the ante-chapel, and 
 there they remained for nearly a century."— "Aurora Borealis", 
 p. 359. For the view, see plate on p. 360, and plate X of 
 Norman Macpherson's "Notes on the Chapel", etc., v.s. ; and 
 for the Library abutting into the quadrangle, see plate I, " King's 
 College, as pictured by Parson Gordon about 1660", in "Crown 
 and Tower", University Union Bazaar Book. Aberdeen, 1896. 
 
 P. 330. Result.— Yox the system of honours first adopted in 
 this year, 1857, and the Honours List, see Colonel Johnston's
 
 NOTES 381 
 
 careful work, "Aberdeen University Calendar, i860- 1864", 
 pp. 113, 114. 
 
 P. 330. Vice-Principal. — Prof. David Thomson, "Davie". 
 
 P. 330. Thomas Barker-. — 39 Don Street. I Class Maths. ; 
 III Class Moral Phil. ; Senior Wrangler 1862. Woodlea, Light- 
 wood Road, Buxton, 1906. 
 
 P. 331. Thomas Gentles. — Born Falkirk, Stirlingshire, 12th 
 Feb., 1838 ; Minister of Trinity College Church, Edinb., 1872 ; 
 Abbey Church, Paisley, 1878 ; D.D. 1891. 
 
 P. 331. William McGrigor. — Cornhill ; II Class Maths.; 
 II Class Moral Phil. ; Missionary of English Presbyterian 
 Church, China ; D.D. 1902. "This is the noblest Roman of us 
 all." — Professor Barker, Jan. 19, 1906. 
 
 P. 332. Capping. — " Next day the graduation in the College 
 Chapel, our oath of filial love to our 'Alma Mater', our capping 
 (1870) at the kindly hand of the Principal, our farewells to the 
 professors in the stalls, beaming forgiveness for all our rowdi- 
 ness, our own good-byes at the Chapel door, and then — away 
 into the ' world's mad scene ', many of us never to meet again. 
 Hearts were full, and hopes were high. The arch of experience 
 was but a small one yet, and the 'untravell'd world gleamed' 
 brightly to us through it." — " Shewan's " Meminisse Juvat", 
 P- 35- 
 
 P. 333. Amount of Lati7t. — The graduation then took 
 place in the Public School. In Chapel of King's College from 
 1861, the last occasion there being 1895. Subsequently in the 
 Mitchell Hall, Marischal College. It will be noticed that 
 Maclean makes no mention of the graduation oath. — See P. J. 
 Anderson's "Officers and Graduates", pp. 350, 351, and Cosmo 
 Innes's "Fasti Aberdonenses •', p. 501. 
 
 P. 334. Noble poet. — Alexander Smith in " A Life Drama", 
 1853. Sc. 13. 
 
 P. 335. Gracious welcoine. — 
 
 Shon Campbell lies in Gairloch, 
 
 Unhooded and ungowned, 
 The green quadrangle of the hills 
 
 To watch his sleep profound, 
 And the Gaudeamus of the burns 
 
 Making a homely sound.
 
 382 LIFE AT A NORTHERN UNIVERSITY 
 
 And when the last great roll is called, 
 
 And Adsums thunder loud, 
 And when the quad is cumbered 
 
 With an eager jostling crowd, 
 The Principal who rules us all 
 
 Will say, " Shon Campbell, come ! 
 Your Alma Mater hails you 
 
 Magister Artium ! " 
 
 — \V. A. MacKenzie: "Alma Mater", 9th May, 1894. 
 
 P- 337- Ot'/V/.— "Heroides", Epistola xiii, 14, Laodameia 
 to Protesilaus. 
 
 P- 339- " Old Folks at Home."—'Qy Stephen Collins Foster, 
 1826-64. See Chambers's "Encyclopaedia of English Literature", 
 1903. Vol. Ill, p. 820. 
 
 P. 339. Jan Ross. — See chap, xviii. 
 
 P. 340. Married to one of them. — Based on John Gray, 
 Cruden, b.s. 1855-7 ; M.D. 1861 ; surgeon-major, Army 
 Medical Department; died 1878. Married to a daughter of 
 Professor Ferguson. 
 
 P. 340. ' George.' — " I should like to say a good word for 
 * George'. From him, more than anyone else, I learned the 
 importance of accuracy and precision. No error in declension 
 or conjugation was tolerated. No vague paraphrase would pass 
 for strict translation. He taught me as much Latin as I needed 
 afterwards, and this was no little saving of my time."— Professor 
 T. Barker. Cosmo Innes's "Fasti": pref., p. Ixviii, mentions 
 " Professor George Ferguson, who worthily fills the chair of 
 Vaus ". 
 
 P. 340. G^/w?;;!.— Chap. vii. " I knew him well", writes one 
 of his friends. " He was one of the most popular men in the 
 University, and was everybody's body."
 
 L'ENVOY 
 
 In the distance sparkled the dark blue sea, and when I reached the 
 top of the hill and caught a glimpse of it, I smelt the smell of home. 
 
 —Chap. III. 
 Fluctibus et fremitu adsurgens Benace marino. 
 
 Virgil: "Georgics", II, 160. 
 
 To all the children of the Crown, 
 
 Who now, or on some older day. 
 Have, in the glory of the gown. 
 
 Once climbed in life the Spital Brae ; 
 And who, though sundered far apart 
 
 By time and tide, where'er they be. 
 Bear yet within them in their heart 
 
 That music of the Northern Sea. 
 
 W. K. L.
 
 A A 000 340 365 6 
 
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