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 THE 
 INFANT MORALIST 
 
 BY 
 
 LADY HELENA CARNEGIE 
 
 AND 
 
 MRS ARTHUR JACOB
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 ^ 

 
 THE 
 INFANT MORALIST 
 
 BY 
 
 LADY HELENA CARNEGIE 
 
 AND 
 
 MRS ARTHUR JACOB 
 
 EDINBURGH 
 
 R. GRANT & SON, 107 PRINCES STREET 
 
 LONDON: R. BRIMLEY JOHNSON 
 
 1903
 
 CRUELTY TO ANIMALS 
 
 How, George ! you're in Disgrace once more, 
 What's this ? a tearful Eye, 
 The tell-tale Feathers on the Floor, 
 Show me the Reason why. 
 
 Why did you free Amelia's Bird 
 Where Harriet's Tabby pounced? 
 You selfish Boy, upon my Word 
 I'll have you soundly trounced. 
 
 Your little Cousin's Tears now see : 
 Her pretty Songster's dead ; 
 A Child so mischievous must be 
 Chastis'd, and sent to Bed. 
 
 5482S1 
 
 LISRAR/
 
 INSENSATE MISCHIEF 
 
 What a Commotion in the Town ! 
 Now has the Steeple fallen down ? 
 
 Some strange Event occurr'd ? 
 Fresh Tidings of the War in France, 
 Or News of dire Import, perchance, 
 
 The Mayor may have heard. 
 See how the People run and point ! 
 The Butcher, laden with a Joint, 
 
 Is brandishing his Knife ; 
 The Chandler, with a Pot of Lard, 
 In tumbling from the Farrier's Yard, 
 
 Upsets the Baker's Wife. 
 The Parson hurries up the Street, 
 His Shoes half on, half off his Feet, 
 
 His Surplice flies behind. 
 And knocking 'gainst the Apple Stall, 
 Of Widow Clarke, the Apples fall, 
 
 He does not seem to mind ! 
 Here comes the Guardian of the Laws ! 
 Pray, tell us. Officer, the Cause 
 
 Of this tumultuous Scene ? 
 Why, I declare, the Reason's found, 
 'Tis Master Percy, I'll be bound. 
 
 At Mischief who has been. 
 How say you ? that an Hour too Fast 
 He set the Town Hall Clock ; and last. 
 
 On further Mischief bent. 
 Upon the Belfry Tower he climbed 
 And all the Bells he loudly chimed 
 
 Confusion to augment. 
 But Retribution's fatal Sword 
 No long Delay will e'er afford 
 
 And soon did Percy smite. 
 His Footing slipp'd, some Time he hung 
 To treach'rous Roofs, but vainly clung 
 
 And fell a giddy Height. 
 And now upon a Couch of Pain 
 He lies with shattered Bones and Brain ;
 
 But, Pity tho' we feel, 
 We all should strive to realise 
 That those whose Actions are not Wise 
 
 From Fate have no Appeal. 
 
 CHARITABLE LOUISA 
 
 Now Goody Brown and Widow Bond 
 Live in a Cottage near the Pond, 
 
 And so, Louisa, you 
 Must now this little Basket take 
 And put in it a Loaf, a Cake, 
 
 A Pound of Sugar too. 
 
 Nay ! do not frown, 'tis surely good 
 That we the Aged succour should ? 
 
 Your Shawl and Bonnet don, 
 See, with you faithful Ponto comes. 
 Perhaps a liking for the Crumbs 
 
 Has urg'd him to go on. 
 
 So onward trips the little Maid, 
 All smiling sweet, and unafraid 
 
 Of Gipsies, Tramps and Cows. 
 Then back she comes, while Goody stands 
 And raising up her wither'd Hands 
 
 Calls down her Prayers and Vows.
 
 CREDULITY 
 
 What Consternation fills the Hall ! 
 Young Master Frank is miss'd ; 
 All Day for him they seek and call 
 Nor through the Night desist. 
 
 Repeatedly had Frank been warned 
 The Gipsies' Camp to shun, 
 For Truth and Cleanliness they scorned 
 And left good Deeds undone. 
 
 Alas for Frank ! the Gipsy Queen 
 Had met him by the Stile, 
 With Tales of Fortune she'd foreseen 
 She did the Youth beguile. 
 
 "I'll crown you King, and you shall ride 
 In golden Coach," said she, 
 " You'll ne'er repent if you decide 
 To follow Gipsy Lee." 
 
 The foolish boy went off to roam 
 In search of Wealth and Fame, 
 And all forgot were Friends and Home 
 To his eternal Shame. 
 
 And now with limping Feet he toils 
 Behind the Caravans, 
 With Tinker's Tools his Hand he soils 
 And sells both Pots and Pans. 
 
 His Parents fond their Son with Tears 
 Distractedly deplore : 
 
 They sought him o'er the World for Years, 
 But saw him nevermore.
 
 t*t 
 
 THE CONSEQUENCES OF GREED 
 
 Why, Edward ! why this Cry of Pain ? 
 This Jacket all besmirched ? 
 Your strict Papa I'll call again 
 And have you soundly birched. 
 
 This pastry, that indulgent Cook 
 Had filled for you with Jam, 
 With hasty Greed, and envious Look 
 You down your Throat did cram. 
 
 Now Gluttons ! pray attend to me : 
 I'll send for Doctor Bell, 
 A Child with Appetite too free 
 He always doses well.
 
 PROFANITY 
 
 A Sailor of the name of Park 
 Gave Nurse a Parrot gay ; 
 I think I heard the Man remark 
 It came from Paraguay. 
 
 How strange a Sight in distant Lands, 
 Where Wonders meet the Eye, 
 To see the Works of Nature's Hands 
 From ev'ry Tree-top fly. 
 
 But Oh ! with Shame and Sorrow both, 
 I scarce can lisp the Tale, 
 Its brutal Jest and hideous Oath 
 My infant Cheek turn'd pale. 
 
 Alas ! when all is bright and fair 
 That Wickedness should lurk, 
 Those sinful Words that filled the Air 
 Were Man's ignoble work. 
 
 Nurse screamed aloud, the Sailor ran. 
 The Bird spoke yet more plain ; 
 Oh ! how I hope the shameless Man 
 Will not come back again. 
 
 How very careful we should be 
 'Mong those alone to move 
 Who shunning, fly Profanity, 
 And who our Hearts approve.
 
 ENVY 
 
 Why, Ellen, such a pouting Face 
 Is quite against the Rule : 
 I fear you have incurr'd Disgrace, 
 Or done amiss at School. 
 
 What ! Lucy Elton's rich Pelisse 
 Your envious Thoughts inspire ? 
 And Fanny Jones disturbs your Peace 
 When dress'd in gay Attire ? 
 
 You foolish Child, did you but know 
 
 The Way their Wealth was gained 
 
 Your Cheeks with honest Shame would glow 
 
 While youthful Life remained. 
 
 For Lucy's Father robb'd a Bank, 
 
 And Fanny's Sire a Church : 
 
 Far from such Wealth you Heav'n may thank 
 
 Your Name can None besmirch.
 
 THE SCHOOL FEAST 
 
 Now Lady Emma at the Grange 
 A School Feast has at Heart, 
 And very kindly does arrange 
 That we shall all take Part. 
 
 Maria, to avert the Cold, 
 Her velvet Spencer wears. 
 And little Jane, of five Years old, 
 A Sun-shade gravely bears. 
 
 Edward, and Charles, and Sister Fan 
 In Joy their Accents raise, 
 And William Fry, the Garden man. 
 Puts Dobbin in the Chaise. 
 
 Papa assumes the Reins' control, 
 
 Mama her Shawl, and so 
 
 Crack goes the Whip, the Wheels they roll, 
 
 And now, away we go ! 
 
 How happy we, with Parents kind 
 And Clothes so clean and neat : 
 Oh ! may we always bear in Mind 
 'Twas Virtue earn'd this Treat. 
 
 COURAGE 
 
 Mervyn and Charles and little Ann 
 Rose early from their Rest ; 
 Who should be First, as out they ran, 
 They joyfully contest. 
 
 Mervyn was Senior by one Year 
 To Charles, whose Summers six 
 Exceeded Ann's, it would appear, 
 By Two, and Seven Weeks. 
 
 Among the Flowers that smell so sweet 
 They pluck'd a Posy gay. 
 To give Mama a pleasant Treat 
 Upon her Natal Day.
 
 But oh ! from off a blooming Rose 
 Ann gather'd with Delight, 
 A cruel Wasp upon her Nose 
 Did suddenly alight. 
 
 She loudly scream'd, and Mervyn seiz'd 
 The Insect in his Clasp, 
 Nor loosed his Hold ere it was squeezed 
 And crush'd within his Grasp. 
 
 Though painful Stings his Hand inflam'd 
 He did not Cry nor Quail, 
 And kind Mama with Pride exclaim'd 
 When Charles told her the Tale. 
 
 Such Youths grow up as Soldiers brave, 
 Or Sailors bold and free ; 
 And thus Britannia's Flag shall wave 
 Supreme on every Sea.
 
 HEARTLESS FOLLY 
 
 Pray, Richard, do you think it right 
 To act as you did Tuesday Night 
 
 And make of Age a Mock ? 
 The Admiral, whose Legs you tied 
 Whilst he was sitting by my side, 
 
 Is indisposed from Shock. 
 
 As he fell prone upon the Floor 
 I saw you spying through the Door 
 
 With pert and shameless Smile ; 
 His Daughters kind, who tend his Couch, 
 With one accord do freely vouch 
 
 They marked your Purpose vile. 
 
 E'en barbarous Turk or Cariboo, 
 Or poor idolatrous Hindoo 
 
 Before such Act would pause ; 
 What should you feel if Admiral Bligh 
 Were taken from us to the Sky 
 
 And you should be the Cause ? 
 
 Oh ! wretched Boy, Elisha's Bears 
 May even now be on the Stairs 
 
 Your Punishment to give : 
 For those the Aged who offend 
 Are like to come to fearful End, 
 
 Or else in Chains to live.
 
 ^^. 
 
 ^.^^^ 
 
 POLITENESS 
 
 What ! do I apprehend aright, 
 My Boy, my Herbert impolite ? 
 
 Oh say ! oh say not so. 
 I did not see you doff your Hat 
 To Lady Charlotte Merton, that 
 
 Is not genteel you know. 
 
 See how polite young Frankie hies 
 To ope the Door for General Wyse, 
 
 And take from him his Cane. 
 In later times, when Frank's extoll'd. 
 Your Manner, deemed uncouth and bold, 
 
 Will give you bitter Pain.
 
 THE RESULT OF HEEDLESSNESS 
 
 Behold that speechless, aged Dame 
 Who totters on the Arm 
 Of Thomas Brown, his sturdy Frame 
 Supporting her from Harm. 
 
 Sad is the Tale that I must tell, 
 The Cause that struck her Dumb, 
 For to the Shock which her befell 
 She nearly did succumb. 
 
 Her Nephew Paul a little Mouse 
 Within the Barn had caught, 
 And in his Pocket to the House 
 The tiny Creature brought. 
 
 How wrong was Paul, for with Dismay 
 His Aunt a Rodent viewed, 
 How wickedly did he repay 
 Her Kindness oft renewed. 
 
 The Work Box on the Table stood, 
 He quickly rais'd the Lid, 
 And 'mongst the Silks it did include 
 The Mouse securely hid. 
 
 She oped the Box, her Pins to seek. 
 Out sprang the nimble Mouse, 
 Oh Mercy ! what a dreadful Shriek 
 Resounded through the House. 
 
 Twas her last Cry, for ne*er again 
 Aunt Fanny's Voice was heard : 
 Depriv'd was she, by Shock and Pain, 
 Of Pow'r to speak a Word. 
 
 Paul's Penitence was no avail, 
 
 The horrid Deed was done. 
 
 Though Good might through his Life prevail. 
 
 With Wrong it was begun. 
 
 How dread to think the Innocent 
 Must suffer for his Crime : 
 Mark how each Fault, though we repent. 
 Bears Consequence through Time.
 
 LAWLESS DISRESPECT 
 
 Come, James, you well deserve the Cane, 
 Your Acts my Ire have gained. 
 To frown I am obliged again 
 And dear Mama is pained. 
 
 That you to such a Deed should stoop. 
 And impiously should dare 
 At Auntie's Legs to bowl your Hoop 
 And hurl her through the Air. 
 
 That Lawlessness should stalk abroad 
 Offends each righteous Heart, 
 And Children, till Respect's restor'd. 
 Must very rightly smart.
 
 INEVITABLE RETRIBUTION 
 
 " It is a Shame," said Albert Gore, 
 " That I my Top may spin no more. 
 
 But to my Book must go ; 
 Whilst James, although the Clock strikes 
 
 Three, 
 Still plies his Marbles busily 
 
 With Uncle's Gardener, Joe." 
 " Nay, quit your Sport, your Hand refrain," 
 Cried the Preceptor once again ; 
 
 But, oh ! to tell I grieve 
 That Albert, when he turn'd his Face, 
 Made so repellent a Grimace 
 
 That you would scarce believe. 
 
 And ah ! the Wind, at Heav'n's behest 
 Changed from the East into the West, 
 
 Alas i for Albert Gore, 
 His Countenance, his glaring Eye, 
 His Nose outspread, his Mouth awry 
 
 Were set to turn no more. 
 
 Oh ! what a Warning this should be 
 For every little Child to see. 
 
 For all from Albert run. 
 The Author of his own Disgrace, 
 He weeps to think how wry a Face 
 
 He'll wear till Life is done. 
 
 REVENGE 
 
 When Ferdinand was sent to School 
 It was his great delight 
 To pause and plague the Village Fool 
 'Gainst whom he had a Spite. 
 
 The poor afflicted Creature dwelt 
 Alone, hard by a Wood, 
 Forlorn and desolate he felt, 
 Oft destitute of Food. 
 
 But Ferdinand for him could feel 
 No gentle Pity flow. 
 Nor from his daily plenteous Meal 
 Would e'en one Crumb bestow.
 
 From Vanity came all the Blame : 
 How oft we may remark 
 What fiercely burning Faults will flame 
 From one small sinful Spark. 
 
 One Sunday morning it had chanced, 
 As to the Church he went, 
 That Ferdinand around had glanced 
 On Admiration bent. 
 
 His Vest was frill'd, his Jacket too 
 In Fashion's last Conceit, 
 His Nankeen Pants, of yellow hue. 
 Scarce reach'd his Slippers neat. 
 
 A tassell'd Cane swung in his Hand, 
 He strutted proudly by, 
 His whole Demeanour a Demand 
 For Wonder's envious Eye. 
 
 But oh ! what Rage possess'd his Heart 
 When laughter caught his Ear,
 
 What Pangs of Anger, like a Dart, 
 Pierc'd him at every Jeer. 
 
 What did he see ? with mincing Tread 
 The Idiot walked behind, 
 And aped his Gestures, wagged his Head 
 And smiled with vacant Mind. 
 
 A clumsy Bludgeon took the place 
 Of Ferdinand's smart Cane, 
 And pert young Master's easy Grace 
 The poor Fool tried to feign. 
 
 Though Weeks had pass'd, and all should 
 
 strive 
 Offences to forget, 
 Ferdinand's Soul could but derive 
 Fresh Cause to fume and fret. 
 
 An evil Thought one Morning leapt 
 Into his jaundic'd Mind, 
 And with a Saw he stealthy crept 
 To where the Stream did wind. 
 
 And through and through he sawed the Plank 
 That bridg'd the Waters' play, 
 Then 'neath a Bush upon the Bank 
 Concealed and still he lay. 
 
 The Idiot came, he took one Stride, 
 Fell through, and Heels o'er Head 
 He sank, and loud for Help he cried. 
 But guilty Ferd'nand fled. 
 
 Now had the wicked Boy returned 
 And straight confest his Crime 
 The guilt of Murder, he had learned. 
 Had not been his this Time. 
 
 Attracted by the Idiot's Roars, 
 At his sad Plight appalled. 
 His dripping Body to the Shores 
 A Passer-by had hauled. 
 
 But Ferdinand ran off to Sea 
 And fought great Bonaparte ; 
 He perish'd soon, by Fate's Decree, 
 And broke his Mother's Heart.
 
 UNSUITABLE JESTING 
 
 It grieves me, Emma, much to see 
 How Pert and Rude you are ; 
 Sure, everybody must agree 
 From Courtesy you're far. 
 
 What wicked Rudeness thus to jest 
 On Mister Barton's Toes : 
 Poor Gentleman, he's Uncle's Guest, 
 And Gout gives painful Throes. 
 
 How very ill does it beseem 
 A Child to play such Part : 
 The Prisons of the World do teem 
 With those of unkind Heart.
 
 THE CHATTERBOX 
 
 I needs must beg you, Caroline, 
 To cease your Chatter whilst I dine. 
 
 It deafens every Ear. 
 John Footman cannot hear my Words, 
 And I have asked him twice for Curds 
 
 And still he cannot hear. 
 
 When Uncle Wilmot, from Malay, 
 Comes here, to make his usual Stay, 
 
 He surely will suppose 
 That he is back in savage Lands, 
 Where Heathens roam in impious Bands 
 
 And feast upon their Foes. 
 
 We all should learn to curb our Speech, 
 Last Week we heard the Rector preach 
 
 Upon this Rule ; 'tis true 
 If he your giddy Talk could hear 
 His Sermons would be more severe. 
 
 And he would preach on You. 
 
 SOLICITUDE 
 
 Come Matthew ! set your Book aside. 
 And Ann your Shawl put on, 
 For in the Carriage we will ride 
 To visit Uncle John. 
 
 The Way is long so Bread we'll take. 
 And then, with Cups to fill. 
 We will alight our Thirst to slake 
 By some pellucid Rill. 
 
 "Thanks, dear Papa," the Youth did say, 
 " But shall we ask Mama 
 Her kindly Fears aside to lay 
 Before we ride so far ? " 
 
 Yes, thoughtful Boy, his Sire replied, 
 Your Words I now commend ; 
 Solicitude should be our Guide 
 With Parent, as with Friend.
 
 ILL-TIMED LEVITY 
 
 I scarce can speak, Bartholomew, 
 I am so much displeased with you 
 
 For all that has occur'd : 
 Aunt Porter, who had come to stay, 
 Has in her Chariot roll'd away 
 
 Without a parting Word. 
 
 Last Night, when all were sent to Dine, 
 You took a Fish-hook and some Twine 
 
 And, leaning o'er the Stair, 
 When honoured Guests went by Below 
 •Let slyly down the Hook, and so 
 
 Secured it in her Hair. 
 
 Alas ! Aunt Porter, long denied 
 That Crown which is a Woman's Pride, 
 And thinking, sure, no 111,
 
 At Table duly took her Seat 
 With seasoned Majesty replete 
 And amiable Good-will. 
 
 At last she rais'd her Hand appall'd 
 And sudden found that she was Bald, 
 
 And for her Speech did strive : — 
 The Scene I cannot now pursue, 
 It has been given to very Few 
 
 Such Moments to survive. 
 
 Ah me ! you cannot understand 
 What PowV may lie in childish Hand 
 
 E'en at such tender Age. 
 Our Relative in high Disgust 
 Will make Resentment, deep and just. 
 
 Our only Heritage. 
 
 THOMAS AND THE BEGGAR 
 
 Come, Thomas come, your Mother called, 
 She saw you in the Street, 
 And of that Beggar, blind and bald 
 She watch'd you trip the Feet. 
 
 His little Dog, with Jaws agape. 
 An angry Protest raised : 
 But all too late, his Master's Shape 
 The Pavement's Edge had grazed. 
 
 Swift running came Policeman Joe 
 And, threat'ning, spoke of Jail : 
 For those who Others overthrow 
 May deep in Dungeons wail.
 
 ^ 
 
 
 [ .mkJ 
 
 ^"t^ 
 
 
 OFFENSIVE MANNERS 
 
 How nicely little Cecil sits 
 
 And eats his Cake in careful Bits, 
 
 A Warning, John, to you 
 Whose Mouth is filled with Beef and Egg, 
 The Remnants of a Turkey's Leg, 
 
 And half a Dumpling too. 
 
 It really makes me feel quite hurt 
 To see the Way that you insert 
 
 Your Fingers in the Dish ; 
 Such Mouthfuls too have ceased to be 
 Since Prophet Jonah marv'llously 
 
 Was swallowed by the Fish. 
 
 Pray from the Joint remove your Fist, 
 And do not stubbornly persist 
 
 Good Manners to offend. 
 Some Day you'll choke upon a Slice, 
 Or suffocate from too much Rice 
 
 And that will be your End.
 
 CONTUMACIOUS CONSTANTINE 
 
 Come, Constantine ! this sulky Face 
 I can no more excuse : 
 Entreat for Pardon, beg for Grace, 
 My Patience you abuse. 
 
 Your Donkey, Ned, you emulate : 
 Because Creation's Plan 
 Has formed the dumb Beast obstinate 
 It is not so with Man. 
 
 Your Tongue was giv'n, with contrite Speech, 
 To own when you offend ; 
 Your Soul Intelligence to teach 
 And Virtue recommend. 
 
 Your Conduct you can not defend : 
 It surely was not kind 
 To throw the Pepper o'er your Friend, 
 And risk his going Blind ? 
 
 Despite his burning, tearful Eye, 
 Despite convulsive Sneeze, 
 If ask'd to Pardon he'd comply 
 With your Desire to Please. 
 
 What ! silent still ? Then go away : 
 Until Contrition's shown 
 In Solitude upstairs you stay, 
 For Meals dry Bread alone. 
 
 All stubborn, naughty Children know 
 That Jam, and Cake, and Pies 
 Are only meant for those who show 
 A Nature Mild and Wise.
 
 DISOBEDIENT EMILY 
 
 When Emily her Task had done 
 It was her Nurse's Rule 
 To stern forbid her Charge to run 
 Near Miller Jones's Pool. 
 
 But Emily did not incline 
 Kind Nursey to obey, 
 She saw the Water Lilies shine 
 That on the Water lay. 
 
 " La ! " she exclaimed, " what Nurse desired 
 
 She idly spoke in Haste, 
 
 Those Plants would fitly be admired 
 
 If on the Table placed." 
 
 And so, with bold, presumptuous Mien 
 And disobedient Pride, 
 She hies her to the Meadows green 
 Wherein the Waters glide.
 
 To reach the Flowers she plies each Art, 
 
 And, in the very Deed, 
 
 A Victim to her wilful Heart, 
 
 She sinks beneath the Weed. 
 
 Nurse Sukey, from her Window high. 
 The dire Misfortune views. 
 Her deaf ning Scream and frenzied Eye 
 Proclaim the fatal News. 
 
 Dragged by the Miller and his Wife, 
 Who haste their Aid to lend. 
 Young Emily, restored to Life, 
 Makes Promise to amend. 
 
 " Ah me ! " she cries, "tho' crowned with Slime 
 And choked with Mud and Leaves, 
 My Heart may profit, in its Time, 
 By what my Fault receives." 
 
 VIOLENCE 
 
 Pause, Robert, pause : remember Cain ! 
 What's this you say, Adolphus Bain 
 
 Has struck you with his Fist ? 
 Nay, your Resentment lay aside. 
 Your Playmate you should gently chide 
 
 And ask him to desist. 
 
 If he has kicked you in the Chest, 
 Him you should pleasantly request 
 
 His Anger to postpone 
 Till you have warn'd him how such Deed 
 May injure Health, and Sickness breed. 
 
 And shake Religion's Throne. 
 
 The Reverend Mister Somerville 
 Has brought you up extremely ill 
 
 If you he has not taught 
 To know that they who raise the Hand 
 May come to bear Cain's awful Brand : 
 
 Now Profit by the Thought.
 
 Los Angeles 
 This book is DUE on the last date stamped below. 
 
 Form L9-10m-3,'48(A7920) 444 
 
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