EARLIER POEMS BY MISS McLEOD SONGS TO SAVE A SOUL SWORDS FOR LIFE BEFORE DAWN BY IRENE RUTHERFORD McLEOD NEW YORK B. W. HUEBSCH MCMXVIII COPYRIGHT, 1918, BY B. W. HUEBSCH ALL RIGHTS RESERVED r r c < c « DEDICATED TO A. DE SELINCOURT 58055J2 I My brain is quick with mighty themes, Whose formless passions, blind and dumb. Beset my heart, reproach my dreams — O, great unborn, your hour may come! But I have first one thing to do. Which I must do, though all else dies; Tell so that all men find it true. The Truth in my beloved's eyes. CONTENTS Now have I ended the vain quest 7 Folded in a flower 8 Under the grasses where we lie 9 Forgive me, dearest, that I weep lO A letter 1 1 Now April's spring of life is come . . . . • 14 How sweet, how soft the air! 16 Memories 19 Spring is gone, and summer's here 22 Love, I faint in herded crowds 24 It is long since first I fell 26 Missing 28 Life I crave, or death 29 1 trod this road to-day 35 He lives! He lives! Now swing wide every gate 37 I follow in great footsteps when I dare .... 39 Many shall say I do forget the times .... 40 Ask how I dare thus lift the bloody veil . . . .41 Only one simple thing shall make men wise ... 42 Seeing all fail that custom fortified 43 Out of the ruins of their shattered gaol ... 44 And though they cry as they have cried before . . 45 Sweet, when I think how summer's smallest bird . 46 Shall I be fearful thus to speak my mind ... 47 When sane men gather in to talk of Love ... 48 In heaven there is a star I call my own .... 49 Between my love and me there runs a thread . . 50 O heavenly peace, how long since we have slept . . 51 O friend of my dear love, what have you done? . . 52 O, be not sorrowful thus distantly! 53 O Jealousy, all lovers loathe thy name . . . .54 "How long, I wonder, does it take to die?" . . 55 Before Dawn 59 O Love, upon how few thy light 79 So many die: I watch them go 80 Asleep 83 She shines in flesh and blood most clear .... 84 Youth lies not in a span of years 85 My blackbird still you come 86 Discharged — Totally Disabled 87 happy wood wherein I lie 89 1 lift my worship to the stars 91 Before Battle . . . . 92 To her critics who do not know her 94 You called me " Youth " because my years are young 95 Earth smiles in her sleep 96 Where you are have I been 99 Maggie Winwood loi O my beloved, how to keep friends with time . . 125 Now have I ended the vain quest, Now have I put my heart to rest; The flower I sought is withered now, The star I followed flickers low, The kingdom I had lived to win Crumbled to dust when I came in. You found me crushed beneath the throne My dreams had coveted, alone; The king I crowned at my right side Proved but my shadow, born of pride, And when my star waned overhead My shadow dwindled and was dead. You lifted me, you kissed my eyes, You kissed my heart, and made me wise, You kissed my spirit, and I know I am but soil where love may grow. The flower I sought takes root in me. Blossoms for you immortally! U. //. ; '.,•'. >'. { ,' 'W J /•'-, f,/ Folded In a flower, I saw God in a bower. Folded In a cloud, I saw Death in a shroud. Folded in your eyes, I saw Love's sunrise. The flower withered into seed, God pushed up with spring's first weed! The cloud was melted into rain. Death made life on earth again ! Your eyes are shut from me and spring, My soul lives by Love's quickening! Now God, Death, Love, In my heart sing. Out of all changing strife No end may be, but Life, Changeless Life! 8 Under the grasses where we lie The old quiet dead sleep : Among their tombstones quiet sheep Graze, and summer larks sing high. . . . Only love may never die ! Tender as love, or lover's breast, Earth spreads sweet thyme against my cheek Soft pillowed on a grave: O, speak Out of the wisdom of your rest. You gentle dead I Is love not best? Beloved, bend on me your eyes, Eternal truths that light your face; They are more fathomless than space: A bird of laughter in them cries, " We die, but our love never dies! " I hear the kindly dead beneath Me whisper, "Love . . . love . . . love!" Your eyes confirm their truth above Me: in the wind I feel love's breath: There is no death ! There is no death ! Forgive me, dearest, that I weep. Forget this heresy, and keep A prouder memory than this Of tears that spring from our last kiss. I shall not weep when you are gone, When death and I are faced alone To fight the long grey battle through, Whose darling prize is love's own — you I I shall not weep then: hold me now, Beloved! Hear me make my vow I Kiss tears and sorrow from my sight, I will be proud as joy, upright, Keen as an arrow that shall fly To pierce death's gloom ! You may not die While my thoughts live ! They are like flame Burning about your cherished name. Deeper than sorrow our peace lies. Higher than laughter our joy flies! The heart of love is still, yet sways Life in Its myriad moving ways. And so I sit at the heart of love, Swifter than birds my strong thoughts move To build for you within hell's gate Sanctuary inviolate I lO A LETTER My dearest, since we said good-bye, Since the last pain of that embrace, Since the last glimmer of your face Went out and left the world In gloom, I have kept faith: I went to He Wrapped In the peace of our loved room For comfort — as you bade me go. We did not know, we could not know, How time has shrouded our own place. Beloved, there are grey sheets spread Where you and I were used to sit, Together, quiet, firellt, Speaking our hearts In holy looks; Or laughed, or cried, or kissed, or read Familiar pages of old books We loved; the heaping ash Is grey That glowed so bravely yesterday, And I must cry, remembering it. So glowed my faith when you were here, Kindled and fed within your arm; It laughed, it dared our vague alarm II Which sounded fainter then than leaves Whose shuddering warns that storms roll near. O, easy faith! The heart believes The thing It most desires, nor sees Evil or death till chance decrees The thing unfeared when lips were warm. I crept from there, I fled from there With hidden face, I could not stay; The eyes I love drove me away With smile too ghostly sweet. I ran, Craving the sun : but all the air, The tender April air, began Soft whisperings of " Dear, my dear, Let me come here I O, I am here I You kissed me here but yesterday." . . . And over all, the giant plane. Whose trailing branches close the round Where earliest flowers star the ground, Snowdrop, primrose, daffodil, And later violet; the lane Where flaming gorse and briar spill Their poignant smell; the river wall. Our daily walk — O, over all Some hand has spread a dusty sheet Where our sweet love made earth more sweet. When you come back — O, soon, dear love I — We'll go together, arms entwined, And all our perfect world re-find ! Your hand shall fling these shrouds aside. 12 O, like twin suns we two will move All shadows from our world, then hide Our tired hearts in our own peace, Where noise, and fear, and madness cease, Where we may rest, where love is shrined I 13 Now April's spring of life is come, Voice of lark no longer dumb Flings against chaotic sky His adoring harmony. Sun-loosed brooklets babble through Woods that I have roamed with you, Daffodils lift smiling bud, Laughter skips in lover's blood. Children toss their coats aside, Earth is every poet's bride. O, my darling, were you here I could read the vision clear I O, my darling, could we kiss I could join my soul in this; But death has you by the hand. While I among the glory stand, Impotent, and blind with fears. Drowned in memories and tears. Every blade of daffodil Spikes my heart with anguished thrill, Mating birds mock me alone. Every hour hangs, a stone, Dragging me to senseless death — Until you come with kindling breath 14 Of love to raise me from this grave Of pain I O, then, though winter rave, Though earth lie dead, and no birds sing, Mine shall be everlasting Spring I 15 How sweet, how soft the air I Blackbirds and thrushes pipe, All blossom buds are ripe; Lightened of winter care. Larks sing the growing corn, And joy new born. O earth, thy mindless things Obey thy word, " rejoice I '^ They give thy passion voice From all thy garnered springs : Men, to whom all is given, Make hell of heaven. Men, whom thy love did bless, Making divinely free To know the truth they see By godly consciousness, Blaspheme thy freedom now With bloody brow. On such a day as this, So soft, so blue, so fair, x6 This sacrilege they dare — Refuse thy golden kiss, Fasten their souls on blood, And deem it good. Mother, thou knowest one, Thine own, thy darling child, Not blind, not hate defiled, But clear-eyed as the sun. Thy lover ! he is gone, Faithful, alone. Into that springless land, Into that loveless hell; Care for him. Mother, well, Cover him with thy hand, Put thy love on his soul. And keep him whole. Over the senseless scream Of lust, give him thy birds, Under men's hollow words Give him thy deepest dream. And let him not forget Bluebells blow yet. But should mad chance return, My darling, to thy breast, 17 Whence came we, let me rest With him in thee, to burn Some beauty from our love In hearts above. i8 MEMORIES In the long feather grass Up on the hill, Only the mild sheep pass, Browsing their fill, Only the wind is not still Where we once loved. Over the quiet hill White clouds in fleet . . . My love and I were still On a day that was sweet. . . . Only winged clouds from our feet Rose when we moved. We climbed the ash with trailing boughs To watch the dying sun go down In radiant shrouds he nightly weaves. . . The harvest moon set on her brows The dusky glory of her crown To rise and bless her sheaves. 19 Then all love's starry eyes awoke To smile between the dancing leaves On us, because we loved, nor broke His golden quiet when he spoke. Not a cloud In the blazing sky, Not a breeze stirred the heat, The long road burnt under our feet, In July, one July. But over the hedge It was cool, Over the hedge we might wade. Where the trees spilled their luminous shade In a shimmering pool. And so we went trespassing there. You and I ! You and 1 1 Where the bracken stood seven feet high, And the wood-pigeon thrilled the green air. And yellow light dappled the green, And water splashed somewhere unseen. And little things fled from our feet; . . . And all I could see of you, sweet. Was your face in a brackeny frame. And all I could hear was your voice on my name In July ! One July I 20 We saw the sun die, royally pyred, Then home came we, no sadlier tired Then with sweet burden of lived hours, And loads of woodland flowers. We have a friend — O, happy we ! — Whose spirit soars enchantedly; On dancing keys her fingers move To sing our song of love. Our foxgloves reared ecstatic throats, Each bell flew wide to magnet notes, While we, no less obedient, found Our day dawn new in sound. 21 Spring is gone, and summer's here, They're bringing up the hay; Soon they will be harvesting, And my love's still away. I see the apples reddening, And yellow burns the wheat. Lovers sit in summer's heart And sing to summer's beat . . • But my love's still away. He lies there, he cries there, I hear him night and day; I cannot hear the birds sing, For my love's still away. I'll not go through the clover field. Along to Foxglove Wood, Nor climb the ash on Chapel Bank We chmbed in happier mood . . . For my love's still away. We hated never man nor beast. Our hearts were pure and gay, We worshipped love in gentleness, But they took my love away. 22 They sent my darling butchering Other women's dears, And, O, the cries of women's hearts Ring tolling In my ears . . . " They took our loves away! " O summer lanes, O summer fields That smell so sweet of hay. When this Is done and truth Is won, Though my love's still away. May happier lovers love here Where I so lonely tread. And build a shining city up Over our murdered dead . . . Though my love's still away. 23 Love, I faint in herded crowds, My spirit cowers from them in shrouds Of pale, fastidious contempt : 1 beat my pride, and cry, " Exempt Yourself, O heart, from human kind. Climb too aloof, or stay behind, You rot, you die! Do they offend? May love be stiff necked? You must bend. Learn tolerance, accept, come down. Love never wore disdain for crown I " But now I can no more forbear! Dear earth is blood-soaked; everywhere These puppets mock her pain! O Love, they wear a bloody stain Over their lightless brows ! Their faces Mouth such monotonous grimaces Of joyless smiles and griefless gloom As they have smirked and glowered from womb, Through youth, to age ! These bear the brand, O Love, of guilt! This is the hand That wrings the world of life ! O, these Batten on death like flies! They squeeze Faint, unaccustomed, sensuous thrills 24 From the heroic life youth spills. I do condemn them; nor forgive That true men die because they live : Because they made of peace a thing Stagnant as death; because they lay, Not knowing love, nor work, nor play, With flabby bodies, hearts of clay; Because they have blasphemed divine Beauty thou gav'st like light to shine Thy holy word abroad; because They daily broke thy gentle laws; Because their children all were born Of loveless custom; because they scorn Thy prophets. Love; because they buy And sell all things — true men must die I Love, dar'st thou ask me to forgive That my love dies while these still live? 25 It is long since first I fell In this evil trance: What foul adder's poisoned spell Stung, amid the dance Of my delight, my soul to sleep, To walk in dreams this craggy steep? It is long since I have heard Music of your voice; Long since love in your eyes stirred My spirit to rejoice; Long, O long since I have known Peace from your touch sweetly grown. Now all the world is plunged in hate, Men weep blood for tears, All hell's legions lie in wait, Apathies and fears, Cold despairs, and all dead things Hang upon love's broken wings. I, snake-bitten, cannot wake, And my sleep is pain; 26 How shall I this cold spell break Whose separate strength is vain? Far from me you writhe with those Ghouls who on my spirit close. Yet are there no walls dark and strong Love's heels may not o'erlap. O, come I O, rouse me with your song! Break — break this hideous sleep! O, raise me up from where I lie! Come soon, O, soon, before I die! 27 MISSING I KNEW by their eyes when they came, Lips locked on a word unsaid, Hands gentle as pity, or death . . . It was I who cried out on your name : Life paused on a breath. "Missing." . . . Hope sprang like a flame I Not dead! O, my love, not dead? 28 Life I crave, or death; Give me the kiss or the blade I Men battle and die on a breath, But women who love them must wade Up to the lips in a sea Bitter as death; they are flayed To the soul, yet await the decree Of a chance, live till the game is played : So is it with me. Bone of her bone she sends forth, The mother who travailed, and so By her anguish found life's utmost worth. And the worth of these trumpets men blow, Calling her children to kill, And swell with her blood the red flow Of earth's dearest life . . . while some fill Money-bags by her woe! Soul of our soul is the price They barter with lovers for pride Of the nations, sacrifice More fitting the cause One has cried . . . Dear prophet of peace upon earth . . . Saying " Love ! " and praising life, died For the fair law's birth. 29 O life of my life, O my friend, Fellow-traveller, lover, beloved 1 Fiends have torn you from me! O, they rend Me, they scourge ! I am moved By their blows In foul ways, So blinded with pain and harsh tears That fall. O, where are the days We made everlasting? We proved Death a lie, yet his legions of fears Close on me I Caught in his maze Am I, beloved! Beloved I O, have we no power to o'erleap These prisons of flesh, and take wing Through this darkness, till each Thrill on the other, and sing With one voice, with one speech. As we used, " Death's a lie I A lie I '' O, arrowy spirit, come where I weep In the dark, for without you I die. Can evil touch one like you? Gentlest, radiant soul! O, where is the good and the true! O, where Is the heart of my faith, If evil have force to take toll Of our love, and with poisonous breath Put out the light of our goal? Not a pore of you harboured hate, 30 Not a corner gathered the dust Of lies from which other men's fate Springs to the monster who must Destroy them . . . for men create Their gods of beauty, or lust, And lies give birth to death, But love has a power to save, We said . . . then what of my faith If you lie, O my sweet, in the grave? Ah, there strikes the root On my burrowing! Sorrow goes No deeper: " Give us the yea, or the nay," Is the cry of the heart in throes! ** Show us the certain way! " . . . Earth flutters her sweetest rose, Speaks that her seasons may, No more! . . . How often have we, Closed in our soft embrace. Your lighted eyes on me. Clasped face to tranquil face. Felt ourselves one with earth; With her soil of the rotted leaves, No less than the golden mirth Of daffodils, or the sheaves Of harvest under the moon: How many times we said, " O, three score years is soon When we two shall be dead! " Yet kissed, and laughed, for the boon 31 Of flesh to spirit wed For the short, sweet space, Nor grudged to give again Our life to life, repay Our debt to the utmost grain. — Ah, three score years ahead! With yet countless hours for play! But death to the heart In its Spring, Death to the mind In shoot For Its harvest of age, the wing Broken before its flight. My young love slain for loot Of war? . . . O, where is light? Sweet, where you are, do you know How I live on this treadmill of hours? Eating and working . . . and sleep. When my body is wearied enough: LIghtless and guldeless I go, A ghost at earth's festival; creep Leaden-footed to trample her flowers. Grief-maddened to give her rebuff For her smiles; all I crave is the deep Silent heart of her, there To lie, from compassionate eyes, Or scornful, of men, and the care Of folding locked lips on my cries, And holding the shroud I must wear For a banner of courage, free; 32 Free to abandon, lay bare My weakness that no man may see, My shame for her pity to keep Till your voice, voice of life, bids me rise. My shame ! O, my failure ! My shame ! Beauty everywhere mocks me with this : She comes in the dawn like the light Of our love, glowing rose, like our kiss, With the swallows at dawn on your name, Crying, with the last star awake In the dawn, which broods like your sight On my grief, saying, *' Live, for my sake I '* As you cried to me once in the night, Our last pitiful night: She comes with the moon sailing high. Thrilling the clouds to delight As she passes them royally by; She laughs with your laugh in the wind; She weeps your soft tears in the rain. Crying, " O, how shall I find You, beloved? I seek you in vain In the city we built ! O, you break Faith ! You live not for my sake I *' O, my lover, this thing you ask Is my highest; pity me then, Let me lie for a merciful space Hid from the contact of men And the habits of living; grant grace 33 To gather my strength for the task! For the pride you demand, well I know, Was never the pride of the mask, Poor lie for a coward to show, While a canker of death at the heart Outward to husk devours! ... As the growth of our love was slow As divine unfolding of flowers, This courage for life must grow; Kindle each dying part To the springing of unknown powers. That I live as you bade me live. Though my heart beat under the knife, Thrill to life as before. Love for men's love give. Beauty of earth adore: So shall my spirit move, Spirit you took for wife. With yours, O my love, my love! With yours, my comrade of life 1 34 I TROD this road to-day Under a windy sky, Where swallows soared at play With silvery flash and cry; And rooks wheeled over the corn, But beauty of earth was gall, And the cry of the birds was scorn, Mocking my darling's call. My blackbird, sweetest note, Note of the heart's clear bliss . . . Out on him, traitor throat . . . Derides a ghostly kiss. Birds, and water, and wind. Music for hearts at play, Are grown to me unkind, And I hate day. I hate day, love night; Now, now I see, I hear! Now my love's eyes shed light I Now my love's call sings clear I 35 Now his eyes brood and shine From the impassioned stars, Now my love's life is mine, And no noise mars The peace of quiet things, Gentle in holy sleep; Only the owl's hushed wings Make silence feel more deep. Night makes him all my own. And soul on soul we move, Wrapped In her peace, alone With our sweet love. 36 He lives! He lives! Now swing wide every gate Upon thy kingdom, earth I O, take me in ! Now have I eyes to see thy beauty! Now The sun rolls from his long eclipse, and hate, Attempting worst, has failed, and terror's din Sinks from the peace of Love's hand on my brow. So long, so long have I in exile lain Crouched In the dark, nor moved in any light Save memory's. I saw no flowers but those Of last year's blossoming, and they, for rain Of dewy peace, drooped thirstily. Now white And thornless springs this summer's crowning rose ! Now lift up all your cups, you little flowers ; Smile, smile upon my joy! O fields, Bow all your grasses to my laughter ! Sing, Sing, my lark, my blackbird, for Death cowers To Love triumphant! Sing, for now he yields. He dwindles in the shade of Love's bright wing! 37 O, all you hearts whom sorrow has not killed, Share, share my joy! O, passing eyes Of strangers, rest on my sweet peace, and you, Less happy, hate me not for envy; stilled To utter gentleness, my new heart hears your cries, Steels to resolve . . . this shall men no more do. Since Love has spared me on fair earth to live, Given me joy to make me more than clay, Given me my beloved, from whom streams My light, my life; for all Love's gifts I give My life in his, to bring men's night to day, My brain, heart, hands, to serve men's nobler dreams. 38 I FOLLOW in great footsteps when I dare In Shakespeare^s and great Dante's way to write My love of you; yet do not thus compare These songs I can but lisp for your delight With our gods' giant perfection; only hear How I, so small, one hand of theirs might cover All that I am, have courage to speak clear: Even he who had that fair Unknown for lover, And he who worshipped Beatrice the divine, Making for them fair worlds which we inherit, Have never seen your eyes, new waking, shine, Nor nothing know of your heart's lovely merit I Also, beloved, pride inspires my pen When I do think they could but love like men ! 39 Many shall say I do forget the times, Turning my eyes from death to sing of love, For love is dead, they say, and lover's rhymes No more have grace men's burdened hearts to move. But I, too long death's constant intimate. Making one grief in that vast sisterhood Whose only life is still to hope and wait Till hope's cause be removed, and whose best good Snatches from death maimed men all too secure — Having most weary leisure to survey These times, yea, time itself, whose years immure My chafing spirit from our realms of day. Still cry: " Love lives ! " Even now he rends the gloom Which we, forgetting him, once made his tomb! 40 Ask how I dare thus lift the bloody veil From hate's black maze on love's futurity, And I shall tell how once we two set sail, Twin ships of joy upon a summer sea : And I shall tell how neither sun, nor star, Nor compass we required to keep our charts — Though all foul winds blew storms to drive us far — For our one course was writ on our two hearts; And we, obedient, sought no other sign. Though many warned us we should surely stray. Until our sight, grown faithful, could divine. Writ in our love, the dawn of a new day. Therefore, if I am bold I am made so To brave faint sneers, and speaK the thing we know. ^I Only one simple thing shall make men wise, Only to cast their laws of fear away, Only to fix on Love unanswering eyes. And him in all things only to obey. This all Love's faithful host have once pro- claimed, Shakespeare and Dante, Shelley, Herbert, Donne, And all the angelic band, yet they are famed Little for this which most their bays has won. For hard it seems to hear most simple things, And though the world is learned in countless themes, The blackbird in the hedge unheeded sings. And children have more wisdom In their dreams: But still Love speaks, and men shall pause to hear When fear of him shall cast out earthly fear I 42 Seeing all fail that custom fortified, Worn practises of earthly monarchy, Statecraft in bloody history long dyed, Churches whose gods killed God in rivalry; Seeing all these which men with patient hands Laboured through aeons against the light to rear From dark foundations built on shifting sands To monstrous towers of commerce piled in fear; Seeing all these fast crumbling at their base. Too weak to bear that shameful heavy head Crowned with unwieldy gold, which every race Sweated from broken hearts of their own dead: Seeing all these rock In Love's wrathful breath, Shall men not turn to him who conquers death? 43 Out of the ruins of their shattered gaol, Whose ancient gaoler, Greed, lies choked in dust, Love, singing now, to soothe their fretful wail, Shall loose their irons, festered in with rust; Yea, though they run from him, he Is so strong. He has such patience to outmatch their haste. Such gentleness, he will not leave them long In these poor passions life and joy to waste. Though with wild eyes and foaming jaws they yell Impotent oaths in his down-brooding face. Smiling, he shall deny them their prized hell, And lift them to his heaven by his grace. That they, by Love so sweetly overcome, Shall vow his heart their city and their home. 44 And though they cry as they have cried before, Love's laws lack glory when he bids them do No more than love, yet soon they shall adore His simple wisdom, and account it true. Slowly, with scarce an effort, they shall see How that they honoured least is most, is all; Not, as they deemed, a jest, a frailty. Nor a hot fiend whose lusts hold men in thrall. But something more and something less than these. In June's least tender bud it sleeps and grows, Waiting its chosen hour when it shall please Burst the green husk of truth, or of a rose : Then bards of death shall cast their arms, and throng Like babes to be instructed in life's song! 45 Sweet, when I think how summer's smallest bird May better sing of Love than I who love you, That I can sing no note you have not heard More purely sung by larks in skies above you, I am downcast, forswearing my dull pen — Did I not pause to think how birds go wooing. How envious shame kills not the little wren Because the ring-dove thrills the glade with coo- ing; Nor does the speedwell fail to lift her blue. Small face to match the glory of the sky; Content to know her tiny worship true, She smiles on boundless heaven steadfastly: Then, dearest, I, your speedwell and your wren. Learning from these, take back my banished pen. 46 Shall I be fearful thus to speak my mind Lest certainty steal virtue from our joy? More common men prize all their greed may bind Save love, whose sweets possessed they dread must cloy. Possessed! Who speaks that word of love blas- phemes, Or else, too dull, he merits not our scorn. Such fools, save when they sleep, are shut from dreams; In custom are they bred, of custom born, And daily rise to earth's beneficence With eyes by long assurance turned to stone. To every natural wonder hugely dense, And most to love, whose peace they dare not own ! Could I have chosen you from this poor flock? And, loving, shall we fear to build on rock? 47 When sane men gather in to talk of Love, Sometimes I lend an ear to their discourse, Holding my tongue while those more learned prove How this experience that creed must endorse ; How human nature — wretched scapegoat — shows Monogamy in males Is nature's freak; How marriage laws — as every woman knows — ■ Were framed by men to render women meek; How men own nobler brains, or women, souls; How sexual education still is rotten — And so the mossless pebble onward rolls: All these are true — but somehow Love's forgot- ten! Let them that know not Love apologise ! We lovers know ourselves the only wise I 48 In heaven there is a star I call my own — Some other name she has which I ignore — Most bright she is, and somewhat moves alone, With this peculiar grace which I adore — She has a look of my beloved's eyes, When they, so steadfast, meditate on me. And, like his love, no comfort she denies, But lights my saddest darkness faithfully. Another grace to this she adds, moreover: Living so high, she owns us both her wards. Our separate griefs her common beams discover. And, war and death surmounting, say, " Love guards I " O gentle star, thy lovely vigil keeping, Draw up my love to shower on him sleeping I 49 Between my love and me there runs a thread, So hght that some would say it scarce could bind, Nor does it serve this use, which hearts too dead For love's sweet grafting, profitable find. O, not for chains our airy thread was spun From fair material of our delight, When, ever keeping noon, our suummer sun Betrayed no shadow of approaching night; But that through fear's illimitable hell. Through dangerous seas of griefs and pains un- known, We be not wholly lost, but still may tell Faintly, each where the other moves alone. When wilt thou backwards spin, O faithful twine, Until no space divides his heart from mine? 50 O HEAVENLY peace, how long since we have slept, Cradled In joy, in thine enfolding arms ! O love, how long that we have prayed and wept. Still insecure from watchful death's alarms ! O love, O peace ! — Or is there none to hear? It is too long; we are so tired now. O aching hours ! O memory, longing, fear — O strength despairing — hopes that strive and bowl O love, how I am fallen! Can you see. Beloved, through this gloom, my poor disgrace? O, send your stronger hope to rescue me ! O, give me dreams where I may know your face ! Come, come, my darling! Life, joy, reason, come! Let me not die ! O, bring me safely home ! 5J O FRIEND of my dear love, what have you done? You whom he gave his rich heart's lovely treasure, Whose value none but I have known, no, none, Though all to pour on you was his sweet pleas- ure — You have betrayed his too believing trust, But so betraying struck a double blow, For when to murder him was your young lust. You wounded me, whose strength you could not know! Poor eyeless soul, when he laid bare his heart, Saw you not curled within Its gentle flame This scorpion janltress, whose watchful part Is to destroy who comes his heart to maim? Nay, if I sting you not It Is his will, Who, being Love's most faithful, loves you still. 52 O, BE not sorrowful thus distantly! In this injurious grief you do me wrong; Struck by another's hand, you banish me, Turning impervious ears to my soft song. O gentle tears, not for my image shed, Most purely sprung, yet dropping turned to gall, You make a sea in which our joy lies dead. Sunk like a stone, almost beyond recall. Almost, I say! For sorrow's deepest cup Is not too deep for my love's thirsty power! I'll be your sun to drink this poison up, And kiss our sweet drowned joy to heavenly flower! Dear, when my rays have blessed your eyes awhile. Will they look up on me, new lit, and smile ? 53 O Jealousy, all lovers loathe thy name, Thou inky shadow, walking still with Love! Thou art not Love's, yet blotching his fair fajnc, Waiting thy time, thy steps in his steps move. Thou canst not die : thou hast no life to lose, Else hadst thou fallen by my many blows; Like death, thou canst not speak, and we must choose. Accept thy hidden thorn, or drop the rose. How many times hast thou in darkest night Pounced on my heart, and leaped with me to death, Where none could see my pain for lack of light, And none to follow me had any faith ! But not thy foulest pit my heart can hide From one who loves me more than peace or pride ! 54 " How long, I wonder, does it take to die? I'm tired of pain, and that damned cloudless sky. It's June in England now." ^'Ach Kamerad!" " A Boche, by Jove ! Well, I can't move, old lad. Can you reach out your hand? There, have a swill. I shan't need any more: IVe had my fill. I'm done." *' I also — thank you — but it makes It less Difficult, water." " You speak English? " " Yes. I had an English friend when I was young; He taught me how to speak your Shakespeare's tongue. I loved him: he was my David. For two years We shared our work, and play, and hopes, and fears. But he is surely dead. They all are dead. Perhaps he fell by my accursed lead. That's war." 55 " Man, what's your name? I seem to know Your voice. I stayed in Stuttgart years ago; I graduated there." " Stuttgart! You say Stuttgart! My home! " *' Man, turn your face this way! " " Wait, I can roll — ach, Gott I — yes, now I see 1 It is! It is I John!'' "Hans! God pity me!" "John! O, my friend — my friend — " " and we are dying ! "O, Hell! Hell! Hell!" " Ah, stop your crying, John, or I shall die before we speak Of our old times. My eyes are getting weak. I can't see very well, but you are changed." " Dear lad, you're older too, I think. We've ranged Heaven and hell since then. Are you in love? " *' Yes, I am married, John." " Hans, could you move A little nearer? Put your hand in there. Look, that's a bit of my sweet darling's hair. When men are dying, Hans, they need not hide Their tears." " Ah, John, we never had that pride. What pretty hair ! It's like my baby's curls." " Babies, old man? " 56 "Yes, John; two little girls. O, they are sweet ! I'll show you — damn I The blood Has spoiled their faces, and it was so good. Do you remember how we used to sing 'Das Vaterland'?" " Yes, and ' God save the King ' In parts ! You couldn't keep your bass in tune I O, Hans, can you believe this hell is June? How we loved June in Stuttgart! O, those nights Under the stars! I've seen such filthy sights Since then — it's all mixed up — how long ago? I'm twenty-four: five years: a man does grow. Hans, what's it all about, this bloody war? What is this thing we've killed each other for? " " Our countries, John." " Hans, put your arm round me. Hans, what's a country when your eyes can see Past death ? What have we done, we two, That we should die to make an old word true ? Who made this war? We didn't. But we die. I wonder how the old ones feel. Some cry; But they are mostly women, scarred and bowed With grief and dead experience. My Dad's proud Of his three sons In khaki." " So Is mine Of his in grey. They drank the oldest wine 57 When I came out to die. They'll celebrate My honourable death with deeper hate And fiercer pride, and send the youngest out To put the Fatherland's vile foe to rout." *' O God, the things they say I Hans, they don't know The truth of war, or they'd not blather so. How many more must die before they learn The truth at last? How much more beauty burn To ruin ? O, the waste ! And what's the end ? What will they gain because I killed my friend? " " You did not kill me, John. My country did. And I became my country when I hid My free soul in this slavish uniform. John, I can't feel my hands ! Is my hand warm ? " " No, cold as ice : we're dying. Hans, your eyes Are just as blue." " John, when this body dies Is that the end?" " I do not know, my dear." " What will our women do ? O John, I fear Death — kiss me, John." " His lips are stone 1 Hans! Speak! My God, he can't — he's gone. O, damn! Damn! Damn! Curse all who made us die! Warmongers — butchers — O, my sweet — good- bye." 58 BEFORE DAWN Scene. A bed-chamber. Time. Any year of time, at night. Dramatis Persona \ ^ r\ (A Queen. Queen Sleep, my babe, as yet unborn To our heavy world's sad scorn, Still in my safe keeping grow Strong to bear man's bitter woe. Weak, and proud, and blind, and free, Soon shalt thou be torn from me, Then not all my love may save Thee from sorrow and the grave. O my babe. If I could keep All thy life in this warm sleep, Never shouldst thou sorrow know, Neither should thy manhood grow. 59 my baby, could I give Thee my tutored soul to live, Thou shouldst know, by all my pain, What is loss and what is gain. But love will not suffer this; By thy pain and by thy bliss Thou must find thy heaven, sweet — 1 may only kiss thy feet. King Dearest, your eyes are wet. Why do you weep? Come closer: let me fold you: sleep, O, sleep! Soon comes to-morrow with a thousand things. Duties — acts — fears, to clip our wings. Thus, folded close, we make one truth, one joy, One love not all hell can destroy. And so we fly, instinct and reason one Supreme desire, to mingle with love's sun. You tremble, and you cry still? Queen Dear — my dear — I dreamed! O, hold me — closer — still more near! Would our lips, limbs, hearts might mingle Until our life dissolved to make a single Happy dream ! Would we might make a sea 60 To drown this drunken world's dark ecstasy Which makes a brothel of fair earth ! O love, O faith, O sorrow ! Is there no power above Men's lusts? Must these to wreck each others' strength Drag all to ruin, till love dies at length, Starved of his natural joy? King What was your dream, Beloved? Wait, the candle's cheerful gleam Will scare these ghosts ! Queen Dear face, I dreamed you dead. Smeared black with blood — and all this beauty fled. O, sweet to see you ! Though the light is frail And makes strange shadows. Dearest, you are pale. Your eyes are beacons! Too much like God's eyes ! Too deep, too bright, too sorrowfully wise 1 Look on me humanly a little while. Kiss me, dear lips. Dear eyes, look up and smile. Ah, how I love you ! King Yet you cry ! You cry ! 6i Queen You are my life : life fails me when you die. King Why do you harp on death? Queen It is my dream. Hush, I will tell you. First I saw a stream, Like blood or lava, burst with hideous force Earth's flowering heart. Swiftly it made its course From city unto city, sweeping in Beauty and squalor, innocence and sin. Men shrieked and filled their temples, calling loud On God, but He, wrapped in a gorgeous shroud Woven of ages, mocked them with glassy stare, Until they spat on Him, crying, " He is not there ! O, where is God? God's dead! There is no God!" And stamped His stony face in the dark sod. And still the fiery river swiftlier ran, Until no monument of labouring man Was left to speak of time, but tottering piles Of ruined stones heaped doom and death, and miles Of sombre waste spread from the cities' bounds. Invading the green fields : and the sole sounds 62 I heard were dying groans, and the sole light — O, woe — shone from your face, whose fading sight Willed me to life I O, cruel to bid me live Alone in a dead world! King Was this the end? Queen No, worse, O, worse ! Joyless, without a friend, A hope, a comfort, I lay down, outworn With grief: and in that hell our babe was born. But with no mortal voice his first cry rang. And with a giant growth his body sprang To immediate strength, till like a seven-year boy With firm, quick leaps he ran, obsessed with joy I He gave no heed to me, but turned to climb Those monstrous tombs. Then, as a sudden chime Pierces with hope of dawn the sufferer's night. His voice soared up in roundels of delight: " O peace ! " he cried; " O peace ! This world is mine! " And from his eyes there streamed a light divine. Darting huge thoughts so terrible and keen I trembled; and I wept, for I had seen That world he claimed his own : it was a grave. 63 But he, enthroned on death, sang: *' Peace! I save! O life! O joy! . . ." and then I woke, and heard Your voice, and in my side our unborn stirred. O then, remembering how even now Men's rivalries in hate stain man's sad brow, How on each side they call on you, my king. To join their lustful causes, murmuring At your elbow that you still refuse To brawl with them, and your high state abuse With guiltless blood, nor harry men to kill Their brothers, whom these ghouls embroil to fill Their itching palms — all this remembering, I Did weep, and made that mournful lullaby. King Is there not triumph in this dream? Queen Dear lord, You look so strangely. Speak some homelier word! King Was it not triumph! Though worlds crack and fall. Our babe sits, simply singing, conquering all. See you no hope in this ? 64 Queen Dear love, since long You have been secret. Speak, for I am strong. Yes, though I weep, I have a heart to bear All that endangers you. We love. We share One life. Thank you, sweet friend, for this. King Men's rivalries besiege our life — one kiss. O, when I look thus all adoring down On you, I feel the glory of my crown ! Not that false crown chance placed on my young head. Which heavier weighs on me than shameful lead But this of heavenly gold which none may see Save you, my fount of joy, who gave it me. No. Do not shut your eyes. You must endure My longer worship. How your heart is pure, My darling. I can see its deepest deeps. There, by your love made whole, my image sleeps. Your fire has burned him clear of every flaw; By you perfected, strong to serve love's law, He waits his time. What love shall ask of him He shall achieve. Though all life's stars grow dim Your light shall guide him, till he rise to do Deeds worthy of our love, and life, and you ! 65 Queen I know not what dark sentence I await, But I do love you. We will challenge fate. King Brave, brave, and dearer than all dreams. You are my dawn, and loose my frozen streams Of night-bound hope. Ambition has no charms To fool me from this haven of your arms. No brazen glory trumps a call more clear Than your soft voice that bids me laugh at fear. Never would I for glory flatter death. On whose cold honours men waste hollow breath. But you have seen how I am herded in By envious neighbours, hoping each to win My sword to serve their schemes, and you well know For cither's cause I will not strike one blow. I think there scarce is any cause on earth That merits war's red ban on children's mirth. I have not seen one yet. Men, when they fight, Each yell their own unanswerable right. And call on God to avenge their children's blood. But each has evil wrought, and each some good. Who shall weigh up the balance? Who dares wreak Vengeance for truth? Not I. Let that man speak 66 Who Is omniscient. When men dispense Justice, always they punish innocence, And guilt too often spare. We have a right To spend our lives, but none to murder life, And none to prate of truth who practise strife; And he is dead of heart as he is bold Who dares a people lead to death for gold, Or power's increase, or any worldly gain Which must be bought with blood, and crime, and pain, And all the inevitable shames of war. Dogma and gold! These dead illusions are Death's banners always: men whose natural soul Rejects them both, yet sink In with the whole. Dreading the lonely track of an ideal Which none but God and they perceive is real. You know our neighbour's quarrel? Is it good? Worthy one drop of happy human blood? Ten miles of earth whose smallest virtue is She smiles above rich ore each swears is his ! Each to the hilt has proved his righteous claim. Embracing centuries of wars and shame. Indeed, if any right there be in it, I think the younger man is proved most fit To trade this wealth; the other lags behind The times; besides, his is a dull, dishonest mind, I like him not. But war for this? I swear It shall not be! I urged them: "Reason! Share ! 67 Take equal portions ! Brain with brain compete If you must live by conquest and defeat! " They scowled on that ! To-morrow I must speak, Beloved, my last word. What shall it be ? Queen Urge them once more. King Dear heart, they cannot see. Queen Yet hold by love. King That have I sworn to do. My oath takes pinions sanctified by you ! Yet listen: men opposed by mutual greed Will often join twin hates to serve one need When danger stronger than their puny spite Threatens them both. Suppose these two unite To murder me? Fools have a craven dread Of thoughts they cannot know, their minds being fed By that old spinster custom's barren breast, From which they suck cold passions, all oppressed 68 By her forbidding eye. They fear sweet day, And welcome secret gloom, nor dare display Their naked spirits to the clear caress Of love's creative sun, which burns to bless All beauty's living forms; and so they hide, Decking their small desires in shame and pride, Until, so cramped, each natural beauty shrinks To foul deformities whose illness stinks. These are fear's slaves; at his obscure command They crowd and crawl to lick his clammy hand, And with a frantic courage flock to guard His ghostly realm from love's invading sword. By these am I beset. They threaten me. Queen Yet even these were born divinely free I For twice ten thousand years their souls may die. But they shall bloom in love's eternity. Let reason's slow persuasion teach them love. King You bless my will ! Now shall no power move My mind from this endeavour ! But again Listen, for I must strike with deadlier pain : Last night, when I was wandering alone About the city streets, I heard a groan At my feet, and stooping down to find Its cause, I felt a dagger's point behind 69 My ear : it did but graze. I caught his hand Who struck me, then his throat, till he, un- manned — He was a hired craven — all confessed. The dagger aimed to strike my bending breast, But in the dark he missed. Sweet, he was set To kill me. They are sworn to kill me yet. Queen Now may I shut my eyes? But keep still near: I want to see the happy past. Most dear. Do you remember once — it was In June — We slept together under a young moon, When we were young? Without a dream of hate You smiled upon my heart, unheeding fate. There was a gentle breeze — I feel it now — Which robbed the lemon flower to bless your brow. And every time its breathing stirred your hair You smiled, and I, because your sleep was fair. Cried happy tears. How cool night's inward palm Upon our souls ! How large, how greatly calm Her starry judgment brooded on our joy, Whose passion burned too pure for shame's alloy. Then, suddenly, wide flashed your tranquil eyes I You cried my name ! I saw your spirit rise Through the inmost cells of life, articulate With meaning words had left till then innate 70 Between us, and I felt my answering soul With beating wings rush out to be made whole, Losing its poor identity in this Immortal birth of self-destroying bliss 1 Do you remember, love? King O, very well ! And with our kiss such peace upon us fell As holds us still within its strong embrace, And I have sweet remembrance of your face, Luminous with the countless gathered beams Of suns, and moons, and those accomplished dreams Which light the unseen world where lovers live In perfect truth, which only love may give. Queen Then were we born of love : now must we do Love's labour faithfully if we are true Let us be love's most faithful. If we die We shall not be the last men crucify For hate of love, as we were not the first. For such revenge men have unsated thirst. King Your dream was truer, dearest: say not we! Ah, never fail our love ! Accomplish me ! 71 Queen Must I live on without your love? You ask More than my strength can bear in that long task. King Our strength must grow to equip our firm desire ! Look up, my soul! Who lit in me this fire? Who, when my heart squandered youth's April hours In sensuous dreams, struck all my buds to flowers? Who, like a cloud melting in arrowy rain Its heavenly form to live on earth again, Nourished with her rich life my barren roots? What sun has ripened all my flowers to fruits? Who, like a fiery angel born of peace. Bid war of sense and spirit in me cease, And with a single gesture did combine These foes, who, reconciled, make man divine? Who plumed my lagging feet? Who stripped my eyes With burning kisses, of those scalely lies Which blind the loveless? Who did arm my soul To kill sloth's worm in me? Who made me whole? You ! you did this ! You, with your keen, sweet breath, Charged with fierce life my world, denying death I 72 You have denied him! Dare he enter now? You crowned me living! Shall death rob my brow? Can we be separate whom love made one? No ! For our life is gathered in that sun Whose universal beams new life will shed Long aeons after worlds and we are dead! Ah, dread you this division of our flesh? Sweet, so do I. O, heavenly mesh Of light! O, temple fools and apes defame, That holds, not hides, the soul's quick-leaping flame ! Not a faint wrinkle carven on your face But speaks like music of some mental grace Poets can never sing. I do adore These shadows near your temples, and that store Of light in each warm iris, like clear water. Bedded with peace, and flecked with airy laughter ! O, and your lips make such a tender curve As evening on a hill we know: each nerve Quick with a growing truth expressive is. And must I lose this joy, and this, and this, On which my insatiate eyes so sweetly browse? Needs must we face the ends of this? Who knows That ever again, though Individually We still live on, these souls of you and me Shall be expressed in shapes our transformed eyes Beyond the forgotten grave may recognise? 73 We have no certainty. But we have faith! O, say it! Sing it! Dart your kindling breath Into my trembHng courage ! We believe We cannot part whom love did once conceive Together! Alone my strength is vain. O, speak! Else am I for my purpose grown too weak. Queen I do believe. King We know not how we live, Being dead, but only that our life must give Ever new life, and, in all forms, new life ! O well-spring of delight, O friend, love, wife, We have a child who shall be born to sorrow And lord of all the ruin of to-morrow I Your life is his. For him you needs must stay A little while to point him love's true way. Queen Leave me your testament of Truth, lest I, Whose strongest hope must be thenceforth to die, Forget. But first lift me upon your heart; My soul hath eyes too keen. Soon must we part. King O, my life rocks In anguish ! O, my sweet, Be granite ! Suffer not my soul's defeat. 74 Queen Speak, speak, beloved: dawn will soon be here, Cradling thoughts whose acts shall make joy's bier. King O, would that love had power such as men Attribute to their lesser gods, for then He should remove us to some happier sphere Where dreams grow true, unpruned by death and fear. There should we dwell, simple, and gay, and free, Till gradual change unfold eternity. Yet have we in our minds a world as fair, More real, than this regret: we breathe an air Which evil dares not penetrate. This is Our babe's inheritance from our last kiss. Tell him to make that world reality For all who live and love : teach him to see Perfection through the imperfect forms which veil Infinite Truth, whose cause he must not fail Though time's most huge illusions gather force Against his single faith, nor swerve his course To encounter shadows. Let him still be bold. And firm, and gentle. Let his love enfold All who have seen the light, and seeing, strive; For smallest truths, well served, keep Truth alive. Let him not mould the eternal to a creed Whose limits may deny one human need: 75 Not one whose heart moves truly with his lip Must be shut out from love's free fellowship. O, teach him, love, such gentleness of strength, Activity of peace, that he at length Gather all men within love's boundless realm Whose service Is true freedom. This hard helm His tender hands shall ache to hold : this tide His soul embarks on, glowers : but he must ride All storms, nor follow any other chart Than that resolve love writes on his pure heart. O, little child who shall be born to us, I charge thee by these kisses, thus, and thus. Fall not thy heritage ! O give no way To those foul legions of fear and hate Which for the single-hearted He In wait. By this true love which thee begot, be true ! Queen You speak farewells! O, what must women do Whose hearts would break, but may not? King You would not have My body safe, my mind a beggared slave? When you look so I have a mind to give My spirit compromise, truth fail, and live. How can I leave you? O, my love, my love, Why do the ways of God so darkly move? 76 May none who worship truth have also peace While on our murdered joys life makes increase? Ah, vain importuning. Let us be still; Our anguish may not shalce life's hidden will. [He goes to the window. Night's starry judgment looks as calm as when We slept in joy, nor feared the hate of men; But one by one her eyes are going out, And eastward dawn smiles wanly, as in doubt Of her next steps : sad owls flit homeward crying, And In the willows a cold wind is sighing. Over the solemn pines my eyes still strain To keep night's last star living, but in vain; Only her memory burns : yet who shall find Which Is most true — her beauty in the mind Or that more actual light which fades and dies? I think love gives our souls immortal eyes Outliving space and time. O, now young morn More certain grows, and like a hope new born Bends shameless gaze and rosy brows to meet Earth's kindling worship that adores his feet In all those liquid gems of fiery dew Lighting the emerald lawn and dreaming yew. Our Mother Is grown young with blossoming May; Her bosom breathes faint scents, her eyes are gay. She trembles with divine expectancy Of heavenly dreams made keen reality. 77 She trembles — hopes — adores ! O, bright de- sire, My soul Is lost In thine Infectious fire ! O, aged heart, whose sap is ageless youth, When shall thy stubborn children learn thy truth, And, loving thee, grow thy more worthy guests? What men to-day shall rise from their long rests With thoughts to mould their acts in harmony With this royal beauty spread for them by thee? I have a hope that soon a day shall come When men shall know thy hills and fields their home. And learn such reverence to keep it fair That love may build his shrine for ever there! When that day dawns, fear, hate, and war shall cease, And men's sole rivalry shall be for peace. Brothers ! Awake ! The dawn is surely here. [He falls back suddenly, struck by a dart. O, I am killed 1 My heart — O, hate — death, — fear — O, climbing sun I O love — remember love I Finis 78 O Love, upon how few thy hght Descends ! O Love, how few have sight Beyond the hour! How many bear Thy torch? O, what men wear Thy sign, the large clear look Of sympathy? Who writes thy book? Who sings thy word? O Love, come down Among us now I Now set thy crown On brows to lead us, and Inspire Our fainting faith with thy keen fire ! Let not thy children fall ! O, give Them life, that their resolve may live To serve thy truth, though all else die ! Love, hear our cry! 79 So many die : I watch them go, And nothing of their going know. Beyond my touch, beyond my sight, Into old darkness a new light They pass, nor leave a track behind For me to follow. No man's mind, Though It be keen as flame, may cleave The blank between us; nought they leave Of life or earth . . . but that quick part Of them still springing In my heart! Each living thought of them I had, Tender, or strong, or gay, or sad. Each time I marked a look, a tone, A lighted brow, a gesture done Delightfully, a sudden poise, A sweet defect, a lilt of voice. All my soul's raptured eye may see, Springs seed of their dear life in me. And, O, divinely more than this. Rare words of love, rare touch, or kiss. Or tears between us ! These may give Immortal life of theirs to live! Life I must live for them each hour. Life without end, by love's sweet power. 80 Therefore I live attentively: Perhaps this radiant earth I see, This life in husk, life-budding shoot. Green leaf unfurled from age-old root, June fields in dewy light new born. Noon's burnished glow on mellow corn, Soft evening's tranquil touch on curves Against a sky whose banner swerves It's trailing gold from west to east; This, that my soul draws down for feast Lest in a world of noise it die . . . This earth I love lives but as I Have garnered all its life, and when I take my leave of earth and men Death shall be all I have not seen. And heard, and lived, and loved, and been! Life shall be all I made my own By worship ! All the beauty known By loving it! By love! I see The heart of immortality! No cleavage here ! No clanging gate Between our worlds ! By love create Undying life; by living, love! So, fiery wheels, expanding, move Laws universal ! So, no end, And no beginning . . . Let me spend My days In worship. Let me go 8i Gathering sweetness. Let me know The hidden source of things : fling wide My soul through sense to beauty, ride All venturing winds on this high quest, Until this little span of breast Holds world on world ... so may I prove The death of death, the life of love ! 82 ASLEEP Sleep, my darling, let me stay; Do not move : Open-eyed I take my rest, Cradled In love. In work, in play. You have escaped my eyes all day; Lie now on my breast. Be serene and clear to me, Laughing brow I Kissed Into sleep, O kindling lips, Smile on me now! Hush! Now I see Your spirit's form rise nakedly! A sun without eclipse ! 83 She shines in flesh and blood most clear, Our mother, who so much delights To mould In holy beauty things Men's passion, cramped and tortured, blights Passion which, free, might give them wings, A chariot, not a bier! But O, the body speaking soul. Not killing it ! The living sheath Revealing what were else obscure, Inspired aflame by love beneath! So have we Nature singing pure, So read her vision whole ! 84 Youth lies not In a span of years, Nor age in the body's decay. Grief dries not with the fount of tears, Nor joy with the end of play. Youth climbs on with his face to the sun, Age circles round and back; Youth's road is daily new begun. Age crawls a beaten track. Youth's hands are stretched to bless, to smite, ■He flings his heart's doors wide; Age locks his hoard from all men's sight. And rots his soul inside. I know a man, he is crowned with joy, And scarred with years and pain; The same crown kings a shining boy Who bears no conqueror's stain! One says, " I serve the truth I know! " One battles to be wise: One light streams from them as they go, One smile sleeps In their eyes. 85 My blackbird, still you come And still you sing; No pain can make you dumb, No sorrow, no regret. Death only kills the joy whence spring Your songs. You fail not, nor forget. No passions stir your voice High or low; Simply you do rejoice For love, love, love I Sweet love that does not come and go, But is, beneath all shows that move. Sweet, you will sing love's praise Until you die. Worshipping all your days. No shame, no fear, no doubt Can make your fount of song run dry, Like ours, nor shut your heaven out. 86 DISCHARGED — TOTALLY DISABLED So death was cheated of you ! Here you lie In your own place beside me : you did not die ! I must repeat it, learn this truth by heart: You did not die ! You did not die ! No part Of you is dead! O, sleep, my darling, sleep; You are at home, you must not hear me weep. When I have learned my lesson I shall not cry — You did not die ! You did not, did not die ! I will not gull myself. I'll hold the light Closer, that I may see each ugly trace Death made in missing you: he clawed your face Most hideously of all, because he knew I, his foe, loved its beauty; blew Blood in your eyes, seared the lids black and bare, Branded your brows — my blessing rested there — Then as a treacherous coward, beaten, afraid, Lunges to mark his conqueror, he laid His twisted seal upon your lips and fled. Harried by love and me ! O piteous head! 87 O bloodshot, staring eyes! O branded brow, O tortured lips, how should I know you now? No feature Is the same, no look, no sign Of what I knew is left to prove you mine. You cannot smile! That was death's ugliest blow I You cannot smile ! The lips I used to know Smiled in their sleep for me; they laughed all day, For every changing thought a different way Of smiling for my joy, but they smiled best In sleep, against my heart, kissed into rest. And now you cannot smile, all hacked awry, warm, gay lips — and yet you did not die ! Beaten, death ! You are beaten ! Though I see This mask of him you have returned to me, Though every wound gapes by this flickering light, 1 have another lamp ! Another sight ! His spirit lives, and all his beauty lives ! You cannot pilfer in my soul ! Love gives His gifts immortally! Not time's decay, Nor violence, nor thou can take away Beauty made mine by love ! Even now I find His living beauty flaming in my mind. Burning out all your scars, old foe, and here. Here on the pillow smiles serenely clear His own familiar face! The mask's a lie! Nothing of him is dead! He cannot die! S8 O HAPPY wood wherein I lie, Were your bright flowers afraid to die? On withered leaves I rest my head And think of all the summers dead. Each foxglove shakes a wizened throat, Winged seeds fly up for winds to float; Primrose and pale anemone Flaunt winter leaves to smile on me; Earth's million springs beneath my feet Take voices thunderous to speak; And sap which for a hundred years Has decked the beech in smiles and tears, Given the hoary oak a grace Gentle, almost, as my love's face. Made the swaying poplars dance Like laughter in an infant's glance. Loosed the tender larches' hair Above the face of bluebells fair; This fiery sap of summer's crown Draws my sluggish spirit down, Down and down where summer sleeps, Down to darkest hidden deeps, 89 Where unnumbered tangled roots Garner life for unborn shoots; Down and down where every clod Sings like any bard of God, Deep as sorrow, dark as death. Where old earth takes laboured breath, Breath of life for every blade Springing green in field and glade, Anguished breath of holy pain, To laugh among the windy grain — Who shall know what travailing Wakes the new born eyes of spring? Patient Mother, I have come With some withered flowers, home: Some were flowers, some were weeds, Life has given to both their seeds; Lying in thy heart, I pray Winds may bear the weeds away Where their roots shall sprawl in vain - But, O my flowers, spring again I 90 I LIFT my worship to the stars Which crown the quiet face of night, Thinking on them who lust in wars And turn their hearts from love's delight. I think on them who cannot read, Truth God has taken pains to write In every star, in every seed. In every hour of love's delight. friend, too long estranged from me, Shall we with them our strength unite Who never had humility To take the kiss of love's delight? Because I know no other way To heal a heart of ancient blight, 1 cast mine from me, and I pray A heart made new in love's delight. If you would cast your heart with mine, Haply with clearer, gentler sight. Our new-born hearts would then incline To meet again in love's delight. 91 BEFORE BATTLE O God, sweet morning brings the hour When I must rise to play my part — Dawn which unfolded like a flower When she I love slept near my heart — My part In that dark shrouded whole Which claims enslavement of my soul. God, I know not what I do, Yet must I do the thing I dread. Though I may scarce believe that true Which brands on my unwilling head Another's blood, another's groan, For cause no more than mine his own. When I look up on this fair face Of night, whose pure, untroubled eyes Look down through such unmeasured space That to their view my darling lies Within these arms spread wide on sod — 1 cannot think on hate, O God. 92 Then must I pray for hate to spur My nerveless hand to smite, and kill, And put out all my thought of her Whose powers of love my spirit fill With joy, and wonder, and delight? Love will not lift my hand to smite ! That shining seed has roots too strong Which her dear kiss sowed in my heart; I cannot hate because her song Calls me to play another part. O God, what prayer shall he pray Who falsely in his part must play? O that Thy stars had power to move From their bright orbits fixed on high To write in burning signs above Thy meaning unmistakably. O God, whose ways are hid from me. Grant me to see I To see ! To see I 93 TO HER CRITICS WHO DO NOT KNOW HER She is my friend. Until you have suffered pain, Self-loathing, doubt, despair, and looked in vain For comfort in yourself, in books, in God; Sought in the dreary maze some path to plod To freedom, lost it, hurled all faith aside, Abandoned will to drift with any tide ; Then, tired, battered, humbled, found her eyes Beaconing hell, passionate, gay, and wise; Felt the firm pull of her small, faithful hand Upon your courage, heard her command you stand To your own soul's stature, felt her spirit's touch Like spring on death- — you have not known her much ! Therefore be still, and learn humility Not to deny all things you cannot see I 94 You called me " Youth " because my years are young ! You whose bright years have garnered up rich truth Of joy and pain, until, like jewels strung On your ageless brow, they dart infectious youth On all who love you ! Youth's own golden tongue. Whose laughter kills dull error without ruth, Runs like God's joyous hound to bay among These sheep, the old, the withered, tame, uncouth Flock of custom, bids me now proclaim, O heart as young as love, as old as time, O you, great Shakespeare's dear interpreter. While love and Shakespeare still have force to stir Men's hearts, the years shall but enshrine your name . . . When I, poor " Youth," lie banished with this rhyme ! For Ellen Terry, 95 Earth smiles In her sleep For the coming of her bridegroom, For the touch of his lips on her eyes, For his strength to call to her beauty. Earth holds out her hands In the night for her beloved. Life stirs in her womb With the promise of fulfilment. They come — a whisper of flowers, A quickening wind in the grasses, A glint of little eyes, A pulse that beats in the shadows. O, no more hate! No more room for hate! Only love! Spring comes with the morning. She lays her hands upon me To make me whole, Puts her lips on mine. Sucks the poison from me. Leaves me whole ! Looks upon me, laughing, Pierces my heart with gladness. 96 No more sin is in me! Spring iias made me whole 1 O, no more hate! No more room for hate! Only love! Lift up your hands to her, As I do, my beloved! She with her young breasts Shall nourish you from sickness I She makes light in the veins Flow like laughter! Laughter! Lift up your lips to her ! She gives you her gay blessing! She puts her sign upon you, The holy kiss of love ! Dear, set up no dull barriers Of anger, of hatred: Turn not your face to the wall. Locking yourself in darkness. Because of me and my folly ! Turn me not away ! Spring has taken me to her, I am hid in her garments, Waiting the smile of your eyes. I have bitterly fallen, And wept in the cold dust; But spring has come upon me, She lifts me in her bosom. Lo, now she brings me to you, 97 To He where I belong, In mine own resting-place, My home, your heart. O, no more hate! No hate! Only love! Turn me not away, O you who touched my spirit And kindled me to flowering; For here shall I lie, weeping. Until I be let in Into the light. O, no more hate! No hate! Only love! 98 Where you are have I been: My steps you tread In worlds where all things seen Move, yet are dead; Where no new hope springs green, And all joy Is fled. No depths of this deep hell Have I not known; No lies hag Fear can tell Haunt you alone ; Many times, lost, I fell Where you make moan. Behold these fading scars, Healed in love's dew, Marks of Inglorious wars — Reckon them true ! Hot from shame's branding bars, Once they were new. Blindfold I know this track, Love, where you roam ; 99 Here, where night falls most black, See, I am come! Love, let us turn us back, Let us go home. 100 MAGGIE WINWOOD I HEARD it all: I'm old, you see, And they don't pay much heed to me. I've lived my three score years and ten, And more besides; women and men Grown up along of me lie still In churchyard up on Biggin's Hill. Old friends they are : I never had No quarrels since I was a lad. And Ernie Winwood — he's been dead Two years come Easter — looked to wed The lass I'd set my heart on; well, I won, and we was cold as hell Till my lass died — we'd only been A year together — then his spleen Died in her coffin. Sometimes death Does things like that: his cruel breath Turns kind, and roots up weeds. It seems so long Since my lass died. There was a song She used to sing, and all this time I've tried to think of that last rhyme. But it won't come : often of nights It keeps me waking, calling sights lOI Of ouc young times. Ah, no one knows The sweetness of the way it goes Excepting me, and I've forgot The end. Well, Ernie rocked the cot She left her life in: a fine lass It was — O Lord, how time do pass I The hair's grey on her pretty head, And her girl's old enough to wed. That's what I'm telling of: you see, I'm old, and they don't notice me. I like to sit here in my nook; Old eyes see plain because they look Past all the shapes they can't make out Into the things they're most about; Young Maggie's shape's quite dim, but I See like a flame when she goes by. I don't hear all the words she says, But when she laughs there's a touch plays On strings inside me : when she cries A bit of me goes cold and dies. She cried last night: that's where I'm coming If I could keep my mind from roaming. Ernie, you see, he took a wife Who kept him kindly all his life, And bore him seven sons. Their Harry And my girl Kate come home to marry: Now Maggie's twenty. We still light Her birthday candles. Every one Tells of lovely things she've done I 102 Each time another candle's burned It shines for some sweet thing she've learned. We'll light another one this year And let it flame for every tear, And let It blaze in hell and heaven To pray men's sins be all forgiven; And ask God's justice to be kind As love In little Maggie's mind. Would to God she'd never loved A chap like Jim that's tramped and roved, And turned his hand to anything; Not shamed to hold his cap and sing For pennies in the gutter, too ; A chap like that's not fashioned true. All right to kiss when youngsters play, But Maggie gave her soul away. She couldn't make a game of love. Her heart's too clear. She's like a dove, Though with an eagle's wings she flies; My heart drops blood when Maggie cries. She gave her soul to waster Jim; A lot of good It did for him ! For If you drop good seed In sand You'll never reap, you understand; And if you give your love away To him whose heart's no more than clay You'll never kindle clay to fire. And all your love will drag In mire. But if you give your love aright 103 You'll live your days in sweet delight, And angels up In heaven sing For joy and holiness you bring, And things turned foul when others do Them foully shall be good In you. All this I know from things I see When people take no heed of me. They wheel me In to hug the fire, Because my veins, like rusty wire. Have no more heat of their own making. And my old palsied bones and quaking Nerves crave fire when there's no sun: That's how I know what Maggie done. It happened this way. They came In Same as usual: the same din I've heard for five-and-seventy years Almost, but now I'm old my ears Hear only what they want to; once I cursed that wind-bag, Tony Bruce, For clucking so, but now their hum Can't spoil the flavour of my rum! Dick Masters preaches sin In chapel; I've wopped him for a stolen apple ! Charlie Pursy, stout and trim. Forgets the times I've dandled him I It's queer how little men do grow; I see 'em underneath, you know. They seem like kids a-playing men For all the sense they've learned since then, 104 Only they've put on beards and pomp And quite forgot the way to romp. If they could romp they might learn sense, And keep a sprig of innocence; But as it is they're mostly sheep, Enough to make a grown soul weep. Well, they was telling the same yarns. How rats got into Charlie's barns. And how the fowls was laying bad. And Tony's pup had gone clean mad And bit him: that was where 1 heard Jim's name, and Maggie somehow stirred: I know she did, for I could feel Like as if steel had clashed on steel. I couldn't see her, but I know The way her eyes would leap and glow. I listened then. I heard him say How Jim was passing by that way. How he'd looked in and took the pup. And Tony left 'em both locked up For half an hour: when he went back The pup was lying, weak and slack. In Jimmy's arms, and he was spooning Milk in his jaws, and sort of crooning As if the beast had been a child. Then out raps Dick, all hot and wild: "The man's a gipsy! Mooning fool I He's soft as any girl from school ! " Up chirps Tony, bright and slick: 105 " That's more than some be, Mister Dick I " " The devil wears a smiling face," Says Dick, " but them as pray for grace Because their hearts were born in sin Don't give the devil grin for grin! No ! Them as grin are them as go On any roads the winds may blow, And some winds blow to hell, they say, With drink and poaching by the way." I sipped my rum. I didn't turn: I watched the fire flick up and burn Like blood blazed up in Maggie's heart. I felt her, like as if a part Of her was beating hot in me; I didn't need to turn and see. Then, like a high note sharply played, I heard her call out: " Ain't he paid; Haven't you seen he paid twice over? And which of you that lives in clover Hasn't deserved the same? But you Look you're not caught at things you do ! Jim's been in gaol for getting caught. That's enough paid, I should have thought! Three months in gaol for just one hare! And Mister Masters got him there! " *' He went to gaol for something more," Dick snarled. " Yes! What he did it for! Let's tell 'em why he went to gaol! " io6 My Maggie cried; " they'll like that tale ! " Then Harry muttered : " Mag, let be." She laughed a kind of scornful glee. " ril tell 'em, then! I'll tell 'em plain! " She said. " A woman took with pain Of birth, he did It for. She lay In Mister Masters's yard all day, And not a bite of food they brought her — No, not a cup of plain cold water. In cattle's straw they let her He, That poor soul that was fit to die. And that's where her dead babe was born! " The air was angry with her scorn, But no one spoke, and she went on: " Well, now I'll tell you what Jim done. He carried her to Haley's Wood, To where a broken wood-shed stood; He stole some dry straw for her bed, Then took her baby that was dead And burled It with loving care Under the wind flowers growing there. Well, then you know how he was caught — Cooking a hare he hadn't bought — By Mister Masters." " That's enough ! How can you let her talk such stuff? A chit like her to speak so bold! It isn't decent ! I don't hold 107 With bits of girls like her in here: Their minds take on a smell of beer, I'm thinking." " Now then; now then, Dick! Steady. That talk's a bit too thick! " Said Harry, quiet like, but grim. Which is a way he's got with him. " Well, keep her quiet, then." *'Now, Mag." " She's got a fiery tongue to wag, That girl of yours ! she talks too hot." *' And so did Jim ! You ain't forgot The Scripture he talked back at you I He let you have it hot and true I He turned the tables on you then. You that throw texts like stones at men." Then Dick got up. " What call had he To quote the word o' God to me? That gipsy fool ! That heathen clod ! That swine that don't believe in God! " " Not in your God ! Your God's like you, Spying the sorrowful things men do ! He makes a chap a sneaking slave. He dogs his steps from birth to grave, He keeps him quiet with bribe and threat. And takes good care he don't forget His sins, and makes him pay full price For all Christ Jesus' sacrifice! But that's all lies. Your God's not true 1 1 08 God's not a gamekeeper, like you ! " ''That's blasphemy!" " Come, Maggie dear." " I won't have that girl kept In here I Blasphemous chit! Send her to bed! " " Come, Masters : come, man ! Keep your head." " I'll not stay here while she's about! " " Well, Masters, I'll not send her out," Said Harry, almost softly; " she Shall stay where she've a mind to be." " Then I've a mind to seek a place Where I shan't see her brazen face! " *' So be it, Dick." " I'll not forgive You, Harry, long as I may live ! " " Nobody asked you, Dick. You can Get out; and so may any man As don't like Maggie. So good-night." " Well, she finds grace with gipsy Jim! I don't compete wi' likes of him! " " Say what you mean." " I'll say no more." " Say what you mean. Kate, shut that door. Now then, Dick Masters. Out with It." " Ask her yourself, man: ask your chit What call a decent girl has got Defending gipsy Jim so hot! " Then I heard Maggie draw her breath Sharp In her teeth, and I felt death 109 On my old heart. " My pretty one, See what your lovely pride has done I " I thought; and my old rusty eyes Wept aching tears for that man's lies. But she was quiet when she spoke, Though her soft voice fell like a stroke On me. " Why, every call ! " she said. " Dad, tell them Jim and me's to wed.'* He paused, then said at last: ^' That's so." " Congratulations! Well, I'll go," Said Dick; " that's half a crown. I like to pay my money down." " You'll want some change," said Harry, plain And cold: '' you'll not be here again." I know the others slunk out after Without their usual noise and laughter. I didn't hear them say good-night, I hadn't neither ears nor sight For them; the world went cold and black. As if I lay on some slow rack In lonely darkness. Gradually My darling's voice came back to me, Thin, dull, and strange; she said: " You're vexed that Jim and me's to wed. Oh, do you think I cannot see That you and father's shamed for me? " *' No, no; Jim's not so bad," said Kate. '' Ah, yes, you're like the rest; you hate Things you don't rightly understand, no Like my poor Jim. You're cruel, too, When you're afraid." " We'd hopes for you. That's all," said Kate. *' A girl must choose Her own life; only when we lose Children, like old folk must, I know, It's hard. Us mothers watch 'em grow From little things, not good, nor bad, But helpless; then come lass and lad With dreams of venturing and love. Them as we thought could only move By help of us have no more needs We'll satisfy: they're hot for deeds Our eyes can't see the end of, things Our ears are deaf to calls and sings For them so loud they cannot hear Wisdom our age can see so clear. That's how it's come with you and Jim. Somehow I hadn't thought of him When I was fancying the lad Who'd take our girl from me and Dad. But If you love him, that's enough. Some roads lie smooth, and some lie rough; It's no use barring 'em. You'll find The road that's natural to your mind. And that's the road you'll travel by. However many paths you try." Kate wasn't often one to say Things other folk will give away III Cheaper than windfalls: things, I mean, That touches tears. She's always been Locked up and steady, like her Harry; And when they say that folk should marry Their opposltes I say they're wrong. For If you marry weak to strong, Under strength's heel the weak soul lies, Or curbs and drains strength till he dies. But If you marry mate to mate You kindle powers that laugh at fate, And smaller things that put love out — That's what poor Kate was grieved about. She knew our Maggie to the core. She'd seen the light her forehead bore; She knew how soft her strength could burn In pity, how some women yearn To feed the weak on their hearts' blood. Until the weak do make their rood. She knew all that, and so she grieved; But she knew more, for she believed No power on earth could drag her down Whose head was shaped to wear a crown. Then Jim came in : his step was dull, Like one who'd got a load to pull. He'd been with Harry's ailing mare All day: I'll say that; he would care For beasts as If they'd been his kin; Ill-treating beasts was all the sin He knew. He weren't no poacher — how 112 He killed that hare quite beats me now, Unless that woman seemed to be A dumb beast In her misery, And her long pain deserved the price Of one hare's painless sacrifice. Somehow I knew the mare was dead Before he spoke: he groaned and said: " You never saw a horse die. When You do you'll know It's worse than men, They suffer so. I did my best." " I know you did," said Maggie; " rest If you can now, Jim, my dear." Kate said: " Now don't you settle here; The kitchen's cosier." " Let him be, Mother; he'll be all right with me," Said Maggie. *' Hush, Jim, you keep still. Mother, do go; I'm feared he's ill. Leave him to me. Ah, Jim, don't cry." " Horses are patient when they die! You didn't see, you'll never know The way she looked at me ; as though I'd done It. Oh, but It's sweet to rest Like this, all tired, against your breast. So big and warm you are, and strong. I'd like to die now. Life's too long, And men grow old. I often pray To die before then." 113 *' Jim, don't say Such things: it's wicked! " "WeU, Ido: Or turn a dog, for dogs are true, And men are not." " Ah, Jim, now don't." " It's truth. Well, kiss me; then I won't." *'0h, Jim!" " Oh, Maggie, kiss again." ** Jim — Jim — you make it seem like pain 1 " " I'm glad. That's love." "Is it? Hush, Jim, There's grandpa." " Who's afraid of him? He's sleeping now, like old men should." "No — Jim." " All right. As if I would If you're not willing." " You're not well: You must be quiet now." " To hell With that! I say I'm well enough; I hate such namby-pamby stuff. I know you cannot always kiss, And if you can't, there's naught amiss. But, Maggie, I'm going away from here." " Don't talk so silly, my own dear; You understand me better: there. Kiss me : you're tired with nursing mare." 114 '' No. Tisn't that; but I must go." *' Where are you going? " '' I dunno." "But you'll be back?" " I don't know when." " Am I a-coming with you, then? " " You couldn't. Not tramp the roads, you can't." " Tramping? Oh, Jim — oh, no — you shan't." " I must." " Jim. Tell me. What's all this? Don't tease my heart out for that kiss ! Ah, Jim, don't turn your face away ! Laugh at me — say it's only play." " It's not." " But, Jim — we're to be wed.'* " I can't." " Jim — what was that you said? " 1 can t. " Then all the rest's a lie? You said you loved me." ''Ah, that's why I Maggie — I love you — I do — I do ! I dare not wed you. I'm not true To anything but beauty — no — I'll never do it ! I must go 1 I couldn't bear to see you turn Old; see all your beauty burn To ashes, like your mother's; hear Your voice turn rusty in my ear, 115 You that's been so sweet to me I I shall remember you — and see Where your stays end; in your cheeks Little red veins where warm blood speaks Now to my kisses ! Kisses cold On our pinched lips when we are old! How could I bear it? I'll not change So quickly: men don't: I shall range New fields for beauty while I live, Where you can't follow. Women give Their beauty up to many things; Work and child-bearing dries the springs Of beauty, and when beauty's gone How could I leave you then alone And withered up, yet how could I Stay with the ghost of what's gone by? " " Ah ! Stop that talk ! Ah, stop, Jim dear I It's words ! All words I I will not hear ! " " You know it's not. You understand, You that have loved me. Give your hand. You know I couldn't ever bear To touch you and not feel magic there. Better to go before we're bound." *' It's too late now. You should have found All this before." " Why — what d'you mean? " " We're bound now, if we've never been. I told them all to-night, and Dad Told 'em, too. Masters drove me mad, Ii6 Blackening you, Jim; I forgot Everything. I spoke up too hot, Defending you before them all. He jibed me for it; asked what call I had to speak so free: I said That you and me was to be wed. I couldn't help it. I was shamed. If you'd been there you'd not have blamed Me for it. Oh, my sweetheart, say You didn't mean you're going away I I love you, Jim! I love you so! Look at me, dear — you cannot go. You know you'll never find another Who'll be your love, your child, your mother, As I have been — and I'll be more ! I can be all you want ! There's store Of love in me you've yet to take ! Ah, Jim, a man like you can make A queen of me, or else a slave. Each Is your own, my dear; I gave Myself to you, not just a part, When you came calling at my heart. You don't know all of me, my sweet. Jim, look at me. I'll kiss your feet, I'll press your feet against my breast Until It hurts! Jim, take my best! Ah, Jim, I've got so much to give ! I pray a thousand years to live, And every hour of them should prove 117 All that I mean when I say * love.' " The tears splashed hot on my cold hand Because he couldn't understand. That spineless fool could see her there Stripping her lovely spirit bare; Let her kneel down, so proud, and kiss His brutish feet; hear her, and miss Her beauty that can never die. Swine make the muck where they must lie. Small grace to him he couldn't speak For shame. O God, how she was meek I And then she must have seen his eyes And known herself at last too wise With wisdom clear and pitiless. But her first words were gentleness. " I never knew you didn't mean To wed me, Jim, or I'd have been More careful. You've been cruel to me, Although you didn't mean to be. I know you didn't mean no harm, Your heart's too pitiful and warm, But gentle souls can be unkind When they're not brave to speak their mind. I wish you'd had the heart to say You always meant to go away." Jim groaned. " Oh, hell, I didn't know." " Ah, you don't see the way you go. You're not the sort to think things out: You feel, and then you've no more doubt ii8 Until the thing you feel is dead, And then it weighs on you like lead." *' That's true," Jim muttered. "Yes, it's true! But tell me what I've got to do ! " She blazed up suddenly. " I'd die Of shame when people passed me by! I should go crazed of nights a-thinking What men would say when they were drinking! How do you think those men would speak Of me, who's never let my cheek Come near a man's lips in my life Till you came courting? ^ Jim Dale's wife That nearly was, but wasn't quite ! ' Look at me! Must I face their spite? I was well thought of till you came. Am I the one to bear such shame? " Jim answered, but his voice rang flat: " No, you're not one to suffer that. I'll not be going. I was wild. I didn't mean it: don't be riled." Maggie was still before she spoke. Have you felt spells in March that woke The almond buds to bloom, so still You might have heard the daffodil Unfold in that warm lull? Then notes Of birds come tender from their throats, And even old hearts must revive To feel the world come new alive. 119 Then, if you're old enough, or young, Soft words come easier on your tongue Because the birds sing, and your ears Catch meanings in things calling tears. When Maggie spoke I knew the world Was all made new, and joy unfurled Green shoots in me to greet the sun For triumph in her dear heart had won. *' You said you loved me, Jim, my dear," She said, so soft, and proud, and clear, The air was moved as by a breeze. And Jim fell crying on his knees. " I do — I love you — I do — I say I love you, Maggie 1 " " In your way. My dear, you do, but that's not much. You that must always feel through touch, You're feared to see me look like Mother, You think that time and work can smother Beauty you've known by love ! Ask Dad If they've lost any joy they've had! I've seen them look across this room With happy eyes that lit the gloom, Although my Mother cannot stir Dad's pulses when he touches her! You that fear beauty going out. And magic with it, you that doubt Our strength and love's, looking ahead To that black time when love is dead, 120 Dreaming you'll tramp away to see New beauty when mine's gone from me — You don't know love ! No, love has sight For beauty's spirit burning bright When bodies change, as bodies must, Like everything that's made from dust. This living dust of me and you Was made to speak our spirits through, For souls are dumb and cannot say Their love except through forms of clay, And that man's blind who cannot trace God's image in another's face; But he who sees the clay alone Is left with withered flesh and bone, And beauty soons goes out for him Who never truly saw it, Jim. You've never seen me : we always missed Each other, even when we kissed. Oh, Jim, I love you ! Oh, my dear, I'd give my soul to keep you near, But I'll not chain you to my side; There's no shame left in me, nor pride. It's mostly In a woman's hand, I think: I understand More than I ever knew before. Oh, Jim, dear love, you've given me more Than other women let go by In dreams! That's mine until I die I " Then Jim cried out as If he'd seen 121 A blazing vision: " Oh, I've been A brute, a fool! I'll stay with you I Say you forgive me, Maggie, do, You lovely woman ! Men are swine I Oh, Maggie, how your sweet eyes shine I I'll never leave you, Maggie, never." *' Ah, Jim, we can't go on forever Living like this, so fierce and keen; There's little things come in between. We can't live like this all the time; You'd hate the tracks we'd have to climb." *' I'd have a damn good try! " *'Ah, no; I know you better, Jim: you go." ^'Oh, Maggie " " You've given me all you can, And that's as much as any man Can do. I think you'll always give Joy to some women while you live, But you can't give them happiness." *' I know I'm not fit to touch your dress " Hush, don't say things I wouldn't hear From others. Say good-bye, Jim dear. Oh, my poor love, poor Jim — don't cry." " Damn it — don't pity me ! Good-bye 1 " And so It ended. Jim rushed out Crying a piteous, anguished shout Which left me cold as heartless stone, 122 11 Because I heard poor Maggie moan: She cried, but she was very still, She must have stood like ice, until She heard the door-latch move, and Harry Came in. " Dad, I'm not going to marry," She said; but then no more; no blame, No reasons why. Then Harry came And took her hands. " Your mother said She'd like a boy when we was wed," He whispered; " but I always knew I'd like a girl, and that come true. A woman like her was what I thought." He paused, then said: " She's overwrought With all them glasses. Could you dry Your eyes and help her put them by? " " Yes, Dad," she said, and then they went Like children, hand in hand. Fm spent With telling all this. Maggie, peace Lay on you till the sharp pangs cease. There's little each for each can do. Not even when their hearts are true. And through this maze of bitter strife No man can read the aim of life. But I am near the end. I'm going To reap the harvest of my sowing. I shall see It all one day. I shall learn love's rightful way! 123 Only one thing IVe learned quite plain Here on this earth: no love is vain! Rest you, my darling, rest you, dear, There's hope In life while that shines clear! 124 O MY beloved, how to keep friends with time, Whose monster knees press life from our sick souls While we his creaking mill of hours climb, Must be our task until the dark wheel rolls Into new light: light fled when you and I, Whose life is one, kissed and were wrenched apart. But love must teach us, sweet, how not to die, Quicken our brains to this laborious art, Lest, when our day of resurrection break, The long stagnation poison our first breath. And we, whose dream was this reunion, wake To eyes glazed over with a film of death. O love, shall you and I, by love made free, Give time and space inglorious victory? 125 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY, BERKELEY TTTTS BOOK IS DUE ON THE LAST DATE STAMPED BELOW Books not returned on time are subject to a fine of 50c per volume after the third day overdue, increasing to $1.00 per volume after the sixth day. Books not in demand may be renewed if application is made before expiration of loan period. ^W-rt 1 l^j-i MAY za \S2, NOV 3 -328 3jAu^'e2Fr REC'D LD RUG 1 9 19fi? FEB 81966^* rEC'O LD JAN 25 '66 "3 PM 50m-8,'26 'J UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY