Ex Libris 
 C. K. OGDEN 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 V
 
 AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING,
 
 LONDON 
 
 PBIKTKJ) BT 8POTTI8WOODE AlfD CO. 
 HBW-STBEET SQTTA.EE
 
 
 London: Longm S.D 8c C
 
 LIFE OF 
 
 AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 FROM THE GERMAN. 
 
 EDITED, WITH THE AUTHOR'S SANCTION, BY 
 
 CATHERINE WINKWOKTH. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 LONGMAN, GREEN, LONGMAN, ROBERTS, & GREEN. 
 1863.
 
 wv 
 
 TO 
 
 EDWARD HENRY SIEVEKINO, ESQ. 
 
 THIS VERSION 
 
 OP A WORK INTENDED TO PRESERVE 
 
 THE BLESSED MEMORY AND CHRISTIAN EXAMPLE 
 
 OF HIS MOST BELOVED AND LOVING 
 
 SISTER 
 
 IS INSCRIBED WITH SINCERE RESPECT 
 BY THE 
 
 ENGLISH TRANSLATORS. 
 
 O
 
 PREFACE 
 
 TO THE ENGLISH TKANSLATION. 
 
 fTlHE following Memoir was written by a lady, an 
 intimate personal friend of Miss Sieveking, who 
 was commissioned by the latter, some time before her 
 death, to undertake the task, and was entrusted with 
 the necessary letters and papers. It has had a very 
 large circulation in Germany, where Miss Sieveking's 
 name was already well known and deeply honoured, 
 and has passed through more than one edition in 
 French. 
 
 We believe that it will have no less interest for 
 thoughtful readers in our own country, since the prac- 
 tical questions which occupied so large a portion of 
 Miss Sieveking's life are stirring in so many minds 
 and hearts among us. How the powers of women may 
 be turned to their best and highest account ; how far 
 charitable work, in its many branches, is a right and 
 natural employment for them ; and by what kind of
 
 Vlll PREFACE TO THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION. 
 
 organization it may best he carried on, are problems 
 which are pressing on us from all sides. They pressed 
 on Miss Sieveking with the added force of novelty, 
 for until her time it had scarcely been admitted in 
 Germany that such questions had a right to exist at all. 
 It cannot but be good for us to learn what a noble 
 practical solution she found for them in her own life, 
 notwithstanding many difficulties and much early dis- 
 couragement. 
 
 That this solution was in the truest sense of the 
 word a Christian one, makes it but the more valuable 
 to us. Doubtless in this, as in all other similar cases, 
 many readers will find individual points of disagree- 
 ment between themselves and Miss Sieveking, nor 
 would the translators undertake to endorse all her 
 separate opinions. But there would seem to be a 
 peculiar usefulness, in these days, in this picture of one 
 who, through much conflict and with little outward 
 help, attained to so firm a grasp on distinctively Chris- 
 tian doctrine ; and for this very reason could face the 
 worst forms of evil with so brave and hopeful a spirit, 
 and afford to give such a ready and fearless apprecia- 
 tion to all excellence and truth, in whatever quarter it 
 might be found. None can fail to recognise in her 
 whole life the deepest root of all Christian organization,
 
 PREFACE TO THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION. IX 
 
 and therefore of all true Church principle, in the spirit 
 that sees and loves Christ in the least of our brethren, 
 and for His sake is willing to be lowest of all, and 
 servant of all. 
 
 It will be seen that Miss Sieveking published several 
 works. These were for the most part merely transcripts 
 of the religious instruction given to her pupils. The 
 most valuable part of her writings is to be found in 
 the annual reports of the charitable association of 
 which she was the foundress, and for many years the 
 president. These contain a very remarkable amount 
 of practical wisdom and judicious suggestions on the 
 whole subject of charitable work, and organizations of 
 women for this purpose. A volume compiled from 
 them, and uniform with the present work, is now just 
 published under the title of 'Principles of Charitable 
 Work Love, Truth, and Order as set forth in the 
 Writings of Amelia Sieveking.' 
 
 It should be stated that the first half of the present 
 work has been translated, and the whole carefully 
 revised, by myself; the latter half has been translated 
 by a friend, the lady who had already undertaken the 
 other volume iust mentioned. A very few passages 
 
 *t */ . o 
 
 have been condensed, to avoid the repetition of which 
 English readers are less patient than German, and in
 
 X PREFACE TO THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION. 
 
 one instance a few lines have been added from the 
 original letter to complete the sense of an extract. 
 
 It only remains for the translators to dismiss their 
 work with awe, as all must do who speak of the dead, 
 but with good hope that Grod will bless this endeavour 
 to animate Christian hearts in England by the example 
 of one to whom it was given in no common degree to 
 exemplify the true idea of the Christian life that we 
 present our bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable 
 unto God, which is our reasonable service. 
 
 C. W. 
 
 CLTFTON: 
 March 1863
 
 PREFACE 
 
 TO THE GEEMAN WOKK 
 
 BY DE. WICHEBN, OF THE BAUHE HATJS, HAMBUBG. 
 
 "1 \THILE endeavouring by this Preface to -meet the 
 often-expressed wish of the honoured friend to 
 whom we owe the following graphic picture of our be- 
 loved Amelia Sieveking, I would also avail myself of this 
 opportunity to fix the attention of the wider circle 
 of readers on that rich and striking background to her 
 life formed by the surrounding circumstances of her 
 position, without which, I think, this unique character 
 could scarcely have attained the form it actually 
 assumed. By her name and the closest ties of rela- 
 tionship, Amelia Sieveking was linked to a great 
 Hamburg family, and to a circle of friends which, for 
 the last seventy or eighty years, has mirrored in a 
 very distinct and remarkable manner nearly all the 
 deeper intellectual movements which have affected our 
 German people. Throughout this period there has 
 been, I imagine, scarcely any tendency of importance
 
 Xll PREFACE TO THE GERMAN WORK. 
 
 in our national life whether literary, artistic, political, 
 or ecclesiastical which has not found in these circles 
 of our native city its personal representatives or more 
 or less active promoters. Let us hope that ere long 
 a hand may be found, fitted at once by original 
 capacity and literary and scientific culture for the 
 work, to give us a complete historical picture of the 
 society and intellectual life of Hamburg, as it has 
 developed itself since the first outbreak of the French 
 revolution. Some of its aspects have, no doubt, been 
 presented to the general reader in a masterly manner 
 by the recent biographies of Frederick Perthes and 
 Matthias Claudius. But in these, much that was best 
 and most characteristic could be but slightly indi- 
 cated, much remained altogether untouched. It is, 
 irideed, still a question whether the family archives, 
 in which a great portion of these treasures lie con- 
 cealed, would be adapted for publication at the present 
 time. The little that has been already given from 
 them to the world extends just beyond the opening 
 of the present century, and the work before us, there- 
 fore, coming down to our own days, furnishes an en- 
 tirely new addition to our stores. But its authoress, 
 though more intimately acquainted with these circles 
 than most persons, has adhered firmly to her resolve
 
 PREFACE TO THE GERMAN WORK. Xlii 
 
 of maintaining a wise reserve, and limiting herself to 
 the object specially in view : throughout her work 
 she has never lost sight of that self-control and dis- 
 cretion which have become, unfortunately, but too 
 rare in such cases. All the more, therefore, do we 
 feel it desirable to dwell for a moment on the less 
 private aspects of this society ; for we cannot doubt 
 that the peculiarly rich combination of its varied elements 
 exerted a powerful influence on Amelia Sieveking's 
 life and character ; since she had learnt from the Spirit 
 of Truth willingly to receive and appropriate all truth, 
 in whatever form it might approach her. 
 
 If the book itself assumes that such information is 
 unnecessary to the readers for whom it is more imme- 
 diately designed, the preface, which has a wider public 
 in view, may serve to remind us that, as we follow the 
 steps of our authoress, we shall be led across the 
 threshold of that Hamburg society in which such men as 
 Lessing and Claudius formerly met, and where a Fre- 
 derick Jacobi and an Elisa Eeimarus formed the friend- 
 ship which must have preceded their correspondence on 
 Spinoza. And the name of this lady, again, recalls 
 that of the author of the * Wolfenbiittel Fragments,'* 
 
 * This work was written by Reimarus of Hamburg, but was discovered 
 in MS. and edited by Lessing, who was long supposed to be its author. 
 ED.
 
 Xiv PREFACE TO THE GERMAN WORK. 
 
 who indeed had disappeared from this family circle 
 in yet earlier days, but with whom Amelia Sieveking 
 was no less connected by relationship. Up to the 
 present day we fear, indeed, we may not long be 
 able to say so this house, in its way truly classic 
 ground, is yet standing on the banks of the Elbe, 
 just beyond Altona.* There, at the opening of this 
 century, and until Hamburg felt the sufferings of a 
 foreign yoke, certain families, linked in the closest 
 friendship, exercised a munificent hospitality, and 
 gathered round them persons from all parts of the 
 world, and representing all the various political move- 
 ments and all the higher interests of that remark- 
 able age. Among them moves Amelia Sieveking, as 
 a young girl just growing up into life, interested 
 in what she sees, yet no more finding her deepest 
 needs satisfied there than did the sage of Pempelfort, 
 who christened Neumiihlen, under the shadow of 
 whose gigantic oaks was assembled perhaps the most 
 varied and interesting society of these days 'The 
 paradise of youth and the inferno of philosophy.' It 
 would be a mistake to suppose that these family 
 
 * Since this preface was written, this old house, rich in so many asso- 
 ciations with the choicest intellectual society of Germany, has made room 
 for the palatial residence of an Altona merchant. ED.
 
 PREFACE TO THE GERMAN WORK. XV 
 
 traditions, and the mode of thought to which they 
 gave rise, had not a powerful effect on Miss Sieve- 
 king's after life. Though the diaries and correspond- 
 ence from which this book is almost exclusively 
 compiled seldom gave occasion for any reference to 
 them, a witness of their power over her may be found 
 in the very strong and well-marked family feeling 
 which was shown with consistent affection through her 
 whole career. And for the very reason that she her- 
 self, in her own mental progress, had gradually forced 
 her way through all mere figures, presentiments, and 
 shadows of truth and love and freedom to the primal 
 crystal fountain of the Eternal Truth and Love and 
 Freedom manifested in a Person, and had found in 
 Christ the solution of the enigma of her own life 
 and of all life ; for the very reason that she witnessed 
 a similar transformation of the spiritual life in those 
 around her ; she was the better able correctly to appre- 
 ciate the change that had come to pass since those family 
 traditions took their rise. And while she acknowledged 
 the new tendency impressed on all these minds by the 
 hold they had now gained on Christian faith, she would 
 be least of all inclined to deny nay, would maintain 
 with peculiar energy that, amid all their previous 
 wanderings, battles, and storms, they had been single-
 
 XVI 
 
 minded, faithful, and pure-hearted in their quest after 
 Truth and Love. No one was farther from an unchristian 
 judging spirit than Amelia Sieveking; but on this 
 account she was the more ready to acknowledge the 
 especial hand of God in these peculiar and solemn lead- 
 ings of His Providence. I have myself more than once 
 been present in that home with which she was most 
 closely connected, when a retrospect of the past history 
 of the family has called out from its members a joyful 
 acknowledgment of the compensating mercy of our God, 
 in repairing the losses that the cause of true faith had 
 sustained in former days by a previous generation, 
 through the revival and practical exemplification of its 
 power now witnessed among its present members. The 
 recent biography of Frederick Perthes makes us ac- 
 quainted with some very noble characters among the 
 circle of friends of whom we are now speaking. The 
 perfect truth and profound earnestness, the inward 
 freedom, clearness, and independence, and above all 
 that strictness towards herself, combined with affection 
 and indulgence towards others, through which Miss 
 Sieveking made her way at last to a faith that opened 
 a new life to her, were characteristic, not of her only, 
 but of the whole society (to speak only of those already 
 departed) whom we have now in view. This tone of
 
 PREFACE TO THE GERMAN WORK. XVii 
 
 mind enables us to understand how a man like Merle 
 d'Aubigne (then persecuted and exiled from his native 
 place) could find a home in this city, and how the newly 
 awakened Christian life in the great Church of our coun- 
 try should have secured its first anchorage in Hamburg, 
 and afterwards found in this city support of many kinds, 
 and a centre whence to extend its operations to other 
 regions. The following work shows very clearly what 
 an eminent position Amelia Sieveking held in this 
 movement in its relation to women ; what it was that 
 she speedily recognised to be her own comprehensive 
 and peculiar mission ; with what clearness and truth and 
 energy she fulfilled it; what a wide sphere it embraced 
 among both the upper and lower classes of society ; and 
 how strict were her demands both on herself and others. 
 Thus she soon ceased to belong exclusively to her 
 native city, and henceforth the whole of our Protestant 
 fatherland may feel a right in her. Nay, even beyond 
 its limits, without any effort on her part, she has be- 
 come an instrument in (rod's hands for the elevation 
 of her own sex, by leading them to embody the life of 
 faith in works of love. To a far greater extent than 
 would be gathered from the following memoir, the 
 character and labours of Amelia Sieveking have 
 furnished at once the powerful impulse and the living
 
 XVU1 PREFACE TO THE GERMAN WORK. 
 
 prototype which have called into being those numerous 
 institutions, through which a wondrous tide of wise and 
 Christian female activity pours its comfort and help 
 into the deep necessities of our poorer classes. Her 
 yearly reports will remain to all time a rich treasure 
 of wisdom for the Christian deaconess; while monu- 
 ments of her love for the poor, and living witnesses 
 to the vitality of our Protestant churches, are to be 
 found in the associations founded by her example in 
 so many cities of Northern Germany, in Switzerland, 
 in the Baltic provinces of Eussia, in Sweden, Den- 
 mark, and Holland. Her life is a trumpet-call to the 
 women of our day to awaken to a full sense of the 
 vocation of their sex at the present time and in the 
 future, and to fulfil it with all the energy of faith. 
 It is no imaginary ideal of excellence for which we 
 are speaking here, but an actual life, that speaks for 
 itself with that force of conviction which pierces like 
 a purifying fire to the conscience, and demands of 
 everyone who hears its voice an answer, not in words 
 but in deeds. 
 
 Though I feel that I must abstain from much that 
 a preface might be justified in bringing forward to 
 illustrate the present work, there are two points which 
 I cannot leave quite untouched.
 
 PREFACE TO THE GERMAN WORK. XIX 
 
 The first is this : It cannot escape any attentive reader 
 of this book what a wealth of Christian family life, of 
 simple, upright, unostentatious, domestic feeling has been 
 preserved in our old Hanse town to this day. Such an 
 example as that of our Amelia Sieveking shows how 
 silently and unmarked the Christian life of a large city 
 may spring into fresh growth from this foundation, the 
 true basis ordained for it by (rod ; nor does it need any 
 detailed proof to make us believe that the same seed has 
 flourished and borne fruit on this good soil, in circles 
 that did not fall within the sphere of her labours. Our 
 free cities seem peculiarly fitted to nurture this family 
 life which is our highest social blessing, since they do 
 not possess those endless class distinctions and social 
 gradations of rank which are to be found in the cities 
 of larger states, and whose influence is far more often 
 adverse than beneficial ; and so far (and God grant it 
 may long be the case) do not suffer from that violent 
 party spirit, either in politics or religion, which is so 
 apt to dissolve all ties, and destroy all charity and truth- 
 fulness. It was the consciousness of this privilege which 
 often led Miss Sieveking to rejoice in being the inha- 
 bitant of a free city. Such expressions from her were 
 not the utterance of political preferences or of a local 
 patriotism, but the thankful recognition of a great 
 
 a 2
 
 XX PREFACE TO THE GERMAN WORK. 
 
 social and Christian blessing which rendered her native 
 place the proper home and nursery of her great work. 
 
 The second may be comprised in this question : Where 
 in our Protestant Church is the mouth, where the hand 
 that should bid such efforts welcome in the name of our 
 common Mother ; that should assign them their proper 
 place in the organic life of the congregation ; t^hat should 
 afford them guidance and protection, with the possibility 
 of fruitful co-operation in the Church's labours for the 
 kingdom of God ? But the Eomish Church would have 
 been equally, nay, far more, incapable of offering to an 
 Amelia Sieveking what we now have in view ; for that 
 Church is without the congregation, which is the pe- 
 culiar and precious jewel entrusted to our Evangelical 
 branch. A Protestant order of sisters or deaconesses, 
 however valuable these new creations may be in 
 themselves, would not have adequately supplied what 
 was needed ; and we cannot regard it as anything less 
 than the guiding hand of Providence which withheld our 
 departed friend from embodying in a practical shape 
 the ideal of which she often speaks with such kindling 
 enthusiasm. But something was granted her that far 
 transcended all her own schemes ; it was given to her, in 
 fuller measure than to any woman since the beginning 
 of our Church, to furnish the practical proof of what
 
 PREFACE TO THE GERMAN WORK. XXI 
 
 an amount and variety of female energy is at the 
 command of the Christian congregation, whenever the 
 Church shall display the courage, or rather the faith, 
 no longer to resist her Lord, but to suffer the con- 
 gregation to attain an organic life and become in truth 
 the body of Christ. 
 
 And now let our Hamburg Tabitha go forth among 
 our women with this testimony of her love and her life. 
 The more the number has increased among them of 
 those who rejoice in such love as hers, the more does 
 the same Spirit who guided her seek for others who, like 
 her, will show by their deeds that this love is the great 
 truth and reality of life. May this book, as the last 
 utterance to us of a disciple who has already passed 
 through death into life, awaken among us many such 
 witnesses to the power of a living faith ! 
 
 RAUHE HAUS : 
 September 1859.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 PART I. 
 
 CHILDHOOD AND EAKLT YOUTH. 
 1794-1817. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 Birth Childhood. 1794-1809 PAGE 3 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Death of her Father Separation of the Children Mdlle. Dimpfel 
 Amelia's Confirmation Madame Briinnemann Amelia begins her 
 Career as a Teacher. 1809-1813 . . . . . .16 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Stormy Times Amelia's School Parting from her Brother Gustavus 
 Inward Conflicts. 1813-1815 33 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Opinions on various Subjects from her Letters to Gustavus School for 
 poor Children On Instruction in the Bible 1815-1816 . 43 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Journey to Magdeburg Retains only one Class of Pupils Corre- 
 spondence with Minna Hosch Invitation to England Her Bro- 
 ther's first Sermon Youthful Feelings Extracts from Letters 
 Her religious Position. 1816-1817 . . . . '.'.. 60
 
 XXIV CONTENTS. 
 
 PAKT II. 
 
 CONTINUED DEVELOPMENT AND PREPARATION FOR AFTER 
 WORK. 
 
 1817-1831. 
 
 CHAPTER VL 
 
 Death of her Brother Gustavus Journey to London Returns home 
 Madame Briinnemann takes a little Girl into her House. 1817 
 
 PAGE 79 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Terrible Loss of Life from Fire Its Effects on Amelia Her mental 
 Progress Farewell to early Hopes and Dreams Inward Conflicts. 
 1817-1818 92 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 Death of Madame Briinnemann's Daughter Illness of the Children 
 Passages from Letters Illness of her adopted Mother Amelia's 
 Reflections on this Occasion Mental Conflicts. 1818-1819 . 103 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Rest in Faith Extracts from Letters Visit of Relations from Eng- 
 land Mental Progress Second Course of Cksses. 1819-1820 113 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Increasing Activity in her School The Diaries cease Joy and Pro- 
 gress in the inner Life On the Sufferings and Education of delicate 
 Children Confirmation of five Pupils. 1820-1821 . . 131 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 Four School-days a week in the City Increasing Pleasure in her Work 
 Position towards the outer World On the religious Instruction 
 of young Children. 1822 . . . . . . .137
 
 CONTENTS. XXV 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 Publication of her first Book On Enthusiasm Consequences of 
 Publicity, and Reflections upon it Death of Madame W. Visit of 
 her Sister-in-law from England The Communion of Saints 
 1823-1823 . . . .....,.-. PAGE 151 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 First Conception of a Protestant Sisterhood of Mercy Conversation 
 with Professor Hartmann, and Letters to him and to her Brother 
 on this Subject. 1823 .. ...,,.....;,.. .159 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 First Conception of the future Association for the Relief of the Sick 
 and Poor Acquaintance with Pastor Gossner His Influence 
 Increase of gratuitous Labours for Education Change of Residence 
 1823-1824 . . -. . 175 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 Clotilda leaves the House How the Doctrine of the Sinfulness^ of 
 Human Nature should be taught to Children Rules for a Sister- 
 hood of Nurses Remarks on this Project Shaken Health, and 
 Difficulty of inducing Amelia to accept Assistance Aims as an 
 Author Her adopted Mother's impaired Eyesight. 1825 . 187 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 Death of two Pupils Views on the Restitution of all Things On 
 the Dissenters Acquaintance with Professor Tscharner Plea- 
 sure in her Vocation Publication of her second Work on the 
 Apocalypse Reflections before and afterwards Reviews and 
 Criticisms. 1826 . . .> . . , . . .. . .201 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 Death of Louisa Reichardt Amelia's Method of Work Visit of 
 Relatives from England Visit to Liibeck Preparation for the 
 Third Course of Classes Second Spring Visit to Liibeck Outpouring 
 of Happiness in a Letter to her Brother Pleasure in her third Set of 
 Pupils Acquaintance with Neander Publication of her Method of 
 Instruction Reflections on it, 1826-1828 213
 
 XXVI CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 Reply to a Warning against Intercourse with Dissenters Visit to 
 Liibeck Visit from her Brother from England : accompanies him 
 to Liibeck Takes her Nephew to Ratzeburg Correspondence with 
 the Freiherr von Stein Operation on Madame Briinnemann's Eyes 
 Life and Pleasure in Teaching. 1828-1831 . . . PAGE 228 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 The Cholera Offers herself for Hospital Service Opinions on her 
 Conduct Enters the Hospital 1831 241 
 
 PAET III. 
 
 PUBLIC LABOURS. 
 
 1831-1858. 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 Sketch and first Foundation of the Association Difficulties and 
 Hindrances Her Relations towards the Doctors of the Poor 
 Death of her Aunt Sieveking Relations towards her Death of a 
 Pupil The new Association. 1831-1832 . . . .279 
 
 CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 The Brother and Sister's Visit First Report of the Association The 
 Burden of Business and its Consequences The original Thoughts 
 and Wishes continue Growth of the Association Visit to her 
 Brother Projected Fourth Course of Classes Third Report 
 Further Thoughts of a Sisterhood of Mercy Retrospect of her 
 Life. 1833-1837 . 297 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 Proposal by Pastor Fliedner Miss Sieveking' s Refusal, and the Reasons 
 for it Press of Business First Acquaintance with the then Crown- 
 Princess of Denmark Her own Illness Death of Madame Briinne-
 
 CONTENTS. XXV11 
 
 mann ^Reflections upon it Instruction in the Seminary Gift 
 of the Site for building Model Lodging-houses Arrangements after 
 the Death of her adopted Mother Pecuniary Position Sociability 
 and Happiness. 1837-1839 . . . ... ., PAGE 321 
 
 CHAPTEE XXIII. 
 
 Visit to her Eelations in London Attack of Illness Success of the 
 Association Eefusal of a Proposal from the Hamburg Infirmary 
 Building and Arrangements of the Model Lodging-house, and Com- 
 mencement of the Children's Hospital Enlargement and Enrichment 
 of her Work Journey to Bremen. 1839-1842 . . .341 
 
 CHAPTEE XXIV. 
 
 The Fire at Hamburg Enlargement of the Amalienstift Illnesses 
 of Miss Sieveking and her Brother Personal Acquaintance with 
 Pastor Fliedner Journey to Denmark and Visit to Queen Caroline 
 Miss Sieveking at Sorgenfrei. 1842-1843 . . . .359 
 
 CHAPTEE XXV. 
 
 Her Nephew's Eesidence in Hamburg Preparations for a Fifth Course 
 of Classes Second Journey to Copenhagen Eemarks on her 
 intended Book Proposal from Berlin Opening of the new Children's 
 Hospital Separation from her Nephew Death of the Syndic 
 Activity. 1843-1847 ';. - . 388 
 
 CHAPTEE XXVI. 
 
 Deficit in the Funds of the Association The Year 1848 Address at 
 Magdeburg Visit to her Friends in England Sixteenth Eeport 
 and 'Letter to the Poor' Her Eelation to Politics Journey to 
 Berlin Audience of the Queen of Prussia Eemarks on Patronage. 
 1847-1849 . - , * !;. . ., ., .404 
 
 CHAPTEE XXVII. 
 
 Letter to the Queen of Prussia Betrothal of her two Nephews 
 The Address delivered at Berlin Bethany Method of teaching 
 Languages Controversy with the Preacher of the ' Free Church ' in
 
 XXV111 CONTENTS. 
 
 Hamburg Letter to the Queen of Prussia The ' Appeal ' in 
 the Seventeenth Eeport Death of a Friend Fourth Visit 
 to England Nineteenth Report Eemarks on English Life. 
 1849-1851 PAGB 417 
 
 CHAPTER XXVIII. 
 
 Journey to Copenhagen Letter to the Queen Preparation for a 
 Sixth Course of Classes Remarks on the Education of Children of 
 the Lower Class Fourth Journey to Copenhagen. 1852-1854 436 
 
 CHAPTER XXIX. 
 
 The Sixth Course of Classes begun The Twenty-second Report, and 
 her last Book Politics Letter to the Queen of Prussia Fifth 
 Visit to England Baths of Lippspringe. 1854-1856 . .451 
 
 CHAPTER XXX. 
 
 Painful domestic Occurrence The Twenty-fifth Anniversary of the 
 Association Journey to the Soden Baths The Commercial Crisis 
 and its Consequences Deaths in the Family Remarks on her 
 Future Biography Physical State. 1856-1858 . . .469 
 
 PAET IV. 
 
 LAST SICKNESS AND DEATH. 
 1858-1859. 
 
 CHAPTER XXXI. 
 
 Last Bible Lessons Arrangements for the Future of the Association 
 Farewell Notes of a Pupil concerning her last Days Death and 
 Burial. 1858-1859 493 
 
 CONCLUSION . . . . .513
 
 DESCRIPTION OF PLATES. 
 
 PORTRAIT OF AMELIA SIEVEKING . . . To face Title 
 
 THE AMALIENSTIFT ..... 279 
 
 The small house to the left is the Children's Hospital ; the 
 house in front of that is the first house of the Amalienstift ; 
 and the two large white houses to the right are the buildings 
 which were incorporated with the Amalienstift after the great 
 fire of 1842. 
 
 THE FAMILY GRAVE OF SYNDIC SIEVEKING To face page 493 
 
 In the churchyard of Hamm, near Hamburg, in which Miss 
 Sieveking's remains were deposited.
 
 .*
 
 THE LIFE 
 
 OF 
 
 AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 FIEST PAET. 
 
 CHILDHOOD AND EARLY YOUTH. 
 (17941817.) 
 
 My fairest child, I have no song to give you, 
 
 No lark could pipe to skies so dull and grey ; 
 Yet, ere we part, one lesson I can leave you 
 For every day. 
 
 Be good, sweet maid, and let who will be clever ; 
 Do noble things, not dream them, all day long, 
 And so make Life, Death, and that vast For-ever 
 One grand sweet song.
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 1794-1809. 
 BIRTH CHILDHOOD. 
 
 A LTHOUGrH many isolated details concerning the 
 -t*~ life and character of Amelia Sieveking have 
 become known to the public through the medium of 
 her own writings and those of others, yet such par- 
 ticulars have hitherto remained mere fragments, with- 
 out connection or unity. But now that she herself 
 is gone to her rest, it would seem that the time is come 
 to collect and supplement these scattered notices, and 
 to present, so far as may be possible, a complete picture 
 of a woman whose name has become a familiar and 
 cherished word, not only throughout her own land, but 
 in other Protestant countries ; of one whose character 
 has exerted so stirring and awakening an influence on 
 the women of our day, and has been destined by God's 
 grace to call into life an idea, the full bearing and 
 consequences of which are not even yet to be discerned. 
 A sketch of her life would appear peculiarly adapted to 
 
 B 2
 
 4 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 exert this strengthening and ennobling influence on 
 other minds, especially on those of young women ; and 
 perhaps may kindle in some well-prepared hearts a 
 spark of that fire which will not die out like the 
 crackling flame of mere earthly enthusiasm or youthful 
 romance. For Amelia Sieveking was what she was, 
 and her works were crowned by that blessing without 
 which no human effort prospers, not so much in con- 
 sequence of any extraordinary natural gifts or powers, 
 as by virtue of that consecration of heart, that single- 
 ness of purpose and harmony of operation which is 
 imparted to all natural gifts by the entire and unre- 
 served surrender of the soul to the service of God. 
 Simple and unassuming as her nature itself, must be the 
 story of her very simple life ; and just as a remarkable 
 sincerity and love of truth, with an early developed 
 and earnest desire to work and to be useful, are striking 
 traits in her own character, so a certain sobriety and 
 the most conscientious truthfulness ought no less to 
 guide the pen which undertakes this sketch of her 
 career. Thus the following narrative, it will be ob- 
 served, is compiled chiefly from the letters and papers 
 of its subject. The kingdom of God is not in word but 
 in power, and it is precisely this power of God, as it 
 renders its instruments serviceable and mighty for 
 good, that is most evidently and strikingly manifest in 
 the life of Amelia Sieveking.
 
 BIETH AND PARENTAGE. 5 
 
 AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKING was born at Hamburg 
 on the 25th of July 1794. Her family was of West- 
 phalian origin, and she was fond of mentioning that one 
 of her ancestors was a schoolmaster, so that the love of 
 teaching might be said to run in the blood. Her father, 
 Henry Christian Sieveking, was a merchant, subsequently 
 also a senator of the city, and seems to have possessed 
 more literary cultivation than was usual with his class 
 in those days. He had two brothers, one of whom was 
 a Syndic, and the other a very intelligent and well- 
 known merchant, the father of the late much-respected 
 Syndic, and of the present senator of the same name in 
 Hamburg. The beautiful country-seat of this gentleman 
 at Neumuhlen, on the banks of the Elbe, was celebrated 
 for its hospitality, and during the troublous times at the 
 close of the last century he collected around him a 
 numerous circle both of Germans and foreigners. Her 
 grandfather was a cloth-merchant, and his wife must 
 have been a great invalid, as her grandchild could not 
 remember ever to have seen her move from her chair. 
 Her maternal grandfather's name was Volkmann ; he 
 was also a man of cultivation and highly respected, and 
 it was from his daughter that her niece received the 
 name of Milly or Amelia. 
 
 Of her mother, Caroline Louisa Sieveking, whom she 
 lost before she had completed her fifth year, Amelia 
 retained no distinct recollection. She is said to have 
 been a highly educated woman, of an extremely mild
 
 6 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 and gentle disposition; she died of consumption, after 
 giving her husband four sons (one of whom died in 
 infancy) and a daughter. Amelia was the youngest 
 child but one, and not the most winning ; she cried a 
 great deal, and her mother once told a friend that she 
 could not help loving her gentle little Grustavus, the 
 youngest child, better than Amelia. Her friend 
 excused this fretfulness on the score of ill-health, and 
 in fact a disease soon afterwards showed itself in the 
 bones of the hand, of which the traces never entirely 
 disappeared. After medical advice had been tried in 
 vain, a bricklayer's wife undertook to cure the com- 
 plaint, and succeeded, but Amelia could never recollect 
 what means she used. 
 
 During the illness of Madame Sieveking, Miss Hosch, 
 a niece of her husband's, entered the family, and, after 
 their mother's death in 1799, carried on the house- 
 keeping and took charge of the children. Miss Hosch, 
 who was then but nineteen years of age, had doubt- 
 less excellent intentions, and devoted herself to her 
 difficult task with zeal and conscientiousness ; but she 
 possessed neither sufficient cultivation nor judgment 
 to educate the orphan children well, in the true sense of 
 the words, least of all the little girl ; and the absence of 
 a mother's care and tenderness was deeply felt by 
 Amelia throughout her childhood, though she might 
 scarcely herself be aware what it was that she missed. 
 In after life she often used to say that, unlike many
 
 EARLY CHILDHOOD 7 
 
 people, she could never look back to her own child- 
 hood as to a sort of vanished paradise, and thus had 
 never been able properly to enter into the laments of 
 the poets over the lost golden age. But God had His 
 own method of educating this soul ; and no doubt this 
 remark of hers may be explained in great measure by 
 the fact, that her natural disposition inclined her little 
 to vague dreams or the idle play of the fancy, and led 
 her rather to find her chief enjoyment, as she grew 
 older, in clear connected thought and active usefulness. 
 Thus she early showed what we call a very practical 
 turn of mind ; but it may be a question whether this 
 tendency of her character was not greatly developed and 
 strengthened by the very circumstance, that her early 
 years were wanting in those pleasures and charms which 
 naturally grace the life of childhood in large and happy 
 families. 
 
 In the year 1800 her father became a senator, an 
 event which made a great impression on her elder 
 brother, Edward, but to which Amelia was very indif- 
 ferent. Her chief and favourite companion was her 
 younger brother Grustavus, who was the nearest in age 
 to herself, and was a very gifted and amiable boy, whose 
 evenness of temper and steadiness of purpose often 
 proved a wholesome check to the eager restlessness of 
 her own nature. Many little traits of their common 
 childhood remained in her memory how they used at 
 night to cover up their heads with the sheet, and tell
 
 8 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKIXG. 
 
 each other fairy stories about crystal palaces, &c. 
 These two youngest children always sided with each 
 other against the elder ones, whenever they deemed 
 their rights infringed by them ; still the eldest brother, 
 Edward, a quick-tempered, ambitious, but really good- 
 hearted boy, seems also to have exercised great influence 
 over the developement of his sister's mind and character. 
 At their country house outside the gates of the city, 
 where the children were often left to themselves for 
 days together, they carried on what they found most 
 interesting games, in which they pretended to be 
 Robinson Crusoes and worked in the garden, or poor 
 children who had to earn money for their parents. 
 
 But while this play went on, the time came for the 
 little Amelia when lessons must begin ; and she seems 
 to have had a succession of very dry instructors in 
 writing and arithmetic, French, drawing, and music. 
 For the latter art she was wholly destitute of talent, and 
 although the love of learning awoke early in the child, 
 under these circumstances there was no proper external 
 stimulus to quicken it. When she was old enough to 
 enter on a more regular course of instruction, Mr. 
 Sieveking gave his daughter her choice between two 
 rationalistic theologians, who were both personally un- 
 known to him, but had been recommended to him as 
 tutors. As she really had no means of making a choice 
 between them, she had recourse to drawing lots, and 
 the gentleman on whom the lot fell gave her lessons
 
 EDUCATION. 9 
 
 henceforward in Grerman grammar and literature, his- 
 tory, geography, and religion. His method of teaching, 
 however, was at once so stiff and so indifferent, that 
 he soon forfeited the affection and respect which the 
 intelligent child had at first been ready to offer him, 
 and she took a strong dislike to him. At his lessons 
 on religion the Bible never appeared on the table, 
 but was replaced by a meagre compendium of doctrine, 
 in which single passages, taken apart from their con- 
 text, were made to serve the rationalistic views of the 
 compiler. History was taught according to Becker, and 
 was, therefore, also regarded exclusively from the 
 rationalistic point of view; while the lessons in geo- 
 graphy were confined to Europe, and of that presented 
 only the barest outlines. This miserable course of in- 
 struction had, however, one good effect upon Amelia's 
 mind, the consciousness that she could easily do better 
 herself early became an incentive to her to teach others, 
 and to take all possible pains to acquire a more lively 
 and awakening method of imparting information. Often 
 did she long to be allowed to go to school, like her 
 elder brothers ; but she never expressed her wishes to 
 her father, for though ambitious, there was also a fund 
 of bashfulness in her character. Meanwhile her home 
 education gave her a certain independence and origin- 
 ality of mind, while it also preserved her from the 
 self-conceit which is so great a danger to ambitious 
 children when they succeed in obtaining distinction.
 
 10 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEVEKING. 
 
 Her reading at this time was very various, includ- 
 ing among other things Campe's * Travels,' Weisse's 
 4 Children's Friend,' Kotzebue's plays, and, as already 
 mentioned, Becker's ' Universal History,' which at a later 
 period proved a great hindrance to the development of 
 that religious life which as yet lay dormant within her. 
 In the evenings her eldest brother read aloud the Iliad 
 and Odyssey, and the children also practised compo- 
 sition. Amelia wrote romantic dramas and robber 
 tales, composed the preface to a book of dreams which 
 they projected, and in her eleventh year she and her 
 brothers founded a literary academy, in which each 
 member of the family was to write on a given theme, 
 and every fortnight the essays were to be read aloud 
 and the palm adjudged to the most meritorious. On 
 one occasion Amelia chose Diogenes as the subject of a 
 panegyric, for even at that early age she could admire 
 a philosopher of so few wants and so much independence ; 
 another time she discussed the advantages and dis- 
 advantages of an amateur theatre, and wrote a Praise 
 of War which, child as she was, displays very clearly 
 her acute understanding. Their youthful governess 
 never interfered with any of these pursuits indeed she 
 herself enjoyed hearing their papers read aloud, and 
 encouraged them more than a more experienced 
 teacher probably would have done. Besides her regular 
 course of study, Amelia acquired various small accom- 
 plishments, such as making wax-flowers and fruit, &c. ;
 
 ILLNESS. 1 1 
 
 and though under Miss Hosch's superintendence any 
 systematic mental training was out of the question, the 
 children were always taught the most strict regard to 
 truth, and the duty of kindness and consideration in 
 their conduct towards others, especially servants. Still 
 it was inevitable that a mother's tender care and helping 
 hand should be wanting in her life, and the little girl 
 seems often to have had a yearning for it, though, as 
 we have said> never clearly conscious herself what it 
 was that she craved. At times she would shed tears 
 without apparent cause, and once when asked by Miss 
 Hosch why she wept, replied, 1 1 am so unhappy, be- 
 cause nobody calls me dear Milly, and nobody cares 
 for me.' 
 
 In her tenth year the child was suddenly attacked 
 by a nervous affection, to which, in after life, some 
 strange recollections attached themselves, strongly cha- 
 racteristic of her nature. During one of the convul- 
 sive attacks, in which it was often necessary for two 
 persons to hold her, she heard her father's voice say- 
 ing < If you make this pretence again I will give you 
 a dose of poison ; ' and her fright at these words 
 which, of course, could not have been really spoken 
 in the way she imagined suddenly put an end to the 
 whole illness. Certain it was that she retained a sense 
 of guilt in connection with this morbid condition a 
 feeling of its being in some sense voluntary, or, at 
 least, of having yielded to it, which perplexed and
 
 12 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKING. 
 
 oppressed her for years; the more so as she did not 
 dare to mention the subject to any one, for fear of the 
 contempt she would draw on herself if others became 
 aware that her whole illness had been merely assumed. 
 Not till she was thirty did she speak of it to her eldest 
 brother, who at once tranquillised her by saying she 
 had had St. Vitus's dance. Still this feeling remained 
 strongly impressed on her memory, and appeared to her 
 indicative of the presence of a demoniacal element in 
 such complaints. 
 
 In the year 1805, her second brother, Peter, was 
 attacked by a diseavse of the hip-joint, which obliged 
 him to pass most of his time on a couch. During his 
 illness he employed himself in many little handiworks, 
 and was extremely gentle and patient ; but at the end 
 of two years he fell into a consumption and died. 
 Amelia felt no particular compassion for his sufferings, 
 but rather annoyance, because they interfered in many 
 ways with her pleasures. During the summer she and 
 her youngest brother occasionally used to spend the 
 day at their uncle Sieveking's beautiful country seat, 
 Neumiihlen, where a large assemblage of visitors kept 
 the house in a whirl of gaiety, while troops of children 
 might generally be found there, engaged in all manner 
 of games and sportive tricks. But little Gustavus and 
 Milly, who did not, after all, visit Neumiihlen very 
 frequently, never felt at home among the other 
 children, and often stole away from the rest together,
 
 COMPANIONS OF CHILDHOOD. 13 
 
 sometimes even in tears ; indeed they much preferred 
 playing with each other at home by themselves. Their 
 father also saw a good deal of company at his own 
 house. One of his most frequent guests was a brother 
 of his wife, named Peter Volkmann, who had sunk into 
 extreme poverty, and had left his wife and children 
 behind him in America. He was a very good story-teller; 
 but his tales were frequently so horrible that Amelia at- 
 tributed her fear of ghosts and other spectral phantoms 
 to the terrors they used to inspire in her. The desire 
 of helping others, which was her most prominent 
 characteristic in after life, was first excited by hearing 
 of the privations endured by her uncle's family, and 
 she set herself to make various articles of clothing to 
 send to them. There was also a poor carpenter's wife 
 for whom she did a great deal ; but she was discouraged 
 by finding how little gratitude she received, and that 
 though the distress was not so extreme as she had 
 fancied, yet she was not the less unable to conjure it 
 away by one magic stroke. 
 
 About this time a little girl was taken into the house 
 as a playfellow to Amelia ; but the experiment was not 
 successful, for she found her brothers much cleverer 
 and more entertaining than her little companion, who 
 was therefore, before long, sent away to make place for 
 another. This second playfellow submitted entirely to 
 Amelia, who liked her much better than the former 
 one. Amelia was extremely fond of animals, especially
 
 14 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 of dogs, and her first verses were on the death of a 
 horse. Her second poem was on the theatre, for which, 
 however, she had no particular love ; the opera, indeed, 
 was positively distasteful to her, from its wearisome 
 repetitions, and the entire absence of any feeling for 
 music in herself. 
 
 At a later period she gives a melancholy description 
 of her mental condition at this time. The study of 
 Becker's ' Universal History ' and of Tiedge's ' Urania ' 
 had filled her mind with doubts and unbelief; the 
 latter work had even awakened doubts of the existence 
 of a Grod and the immortality of the soul, which the 
 arguments of its latter portion were powerless to 
 remove. At the same time, her dislike of her tutor 
 almost amounted to hatred ; she was seeking for truth, 
 and within and without she found only discord. 
 
 In the summer of 1808, her father took a house and 
 garden on the Alster, where the children were allowed 
 to keep a boat and manage it for themselves, and 
 Amelia, in company with her brothers and some neigh- 
 bours' children, played many wild freaks in the effort to 
 drown a certain deep-seated disquietude within. But that 
 her conscience early asserted its prerogative, is shown 
 by the following passage in a book that she published 
 in 1855, under the name of ' Conversations on Certain 
 Passages of Scripture,' in which she says (p. 84) 
 'When I was still but a child, and had not as yet 
 learnt to know Christ as the Son of Grod, as my
 
 MORAL EFFORTS. 15 
 
 Redeemer and the only source of happiness, there 
 nevertheless awakened in my soul a strong desire to 
 become good and virtuous. I kept a moral diary; I 
 imposed on myself small punishments of my own in- 
 vention, such as walking with pebbles in my shoes, as 
 penances for my faults ; I wished also to perform good 
 works, and secretly gave away some of my pocket- 
 money to the poor. But I was surprised to find that 
 the remembrance of former punishments very seldom 
 had any power to arm me against temptation when it 
 next approached, and that the good works I did in 
 secret afforded me very much less pleasure than those 
 for which I received the praise of men.'
 
 CHAPTEE II. 
 
 1809-1813. 
 
 DEATH OF HER FATHER SEPARATION OF THE CHILDREN 
 
 MADEMOISELLE DIMPFEL AMELIA'S CONFIRMATION 
 
 MADAME BRUNNEMANN AMELIA BEGINS HER CAREER AS 
 
 A TEACHER. 
 
 WE now arrive at a turning-point in Amelia's life, 
 caused by the death of her father. The loss of 
 his wife had almost crushed him, and when this was 
 followed by the loss of fortune, occasioned chiefly by 
 the melancholy political state of Hamburg at that 
 period, his health gradually gave way. He had been 
 slowly failing for some years, but it took his children 
 by surprise when, as they were all assembled together 
 on New Year's Day in 1809, he prayed aloud with 
 them in the evening. The unusual occurrence, how- 
 ever, does not seem to have made any further impres- 
 sion on his daughter's feelings, but no doubt he already 
 had a presentiment of his approaching end, which took 
 place on the 30th of the same month. As he left no 
 property, a family council was held to decide what was
 
 MADEMOISELLE DIMPFEL. 17 
 
 to be done with the children. The arrangements made 
 involved their immediate separation. The eldest son 
 was put into a situation in a counting-house, and was 
 received into the family of one of their aunts. Grus- 
 tavus was placed with the widow of a clergyman, an 
 excellent person, who kept a boarding-house for boys. 
 Amelia and Miss Hosch were put to board with a 
 Mdlle. Dimpfel, an elderly lady, the sister-in-law of 
 Klopstock, a very pious but not a well-educated person. 
 The instruction which she imparted to her new pupil 
 was very defective, but Amelia was at all events delivered 
 from her detested tutor, Mr. H. The only thing Mdlle. 
 Dimpfel taught well was Scripture History, of which 
 Amelia as yet knew little or nothing, and which she had 
 the art of narrating in a very attractive manner, as she 
 knew her Bible from end to end. Amelia, however, 
 never ventured to mention her religious doubts to her 
 new instructress, fearing that they might be utterly 
 novel and shocking .to her, and feeling sure that at any 
 rate she would not properly understand them. The 
 family also included a little niece of Mdlle. Dimpfel's, 
 about ten years old, who had been treated by her aunt 
 with so much weak indulgence that she was a thoroughly 
 naughty spoilt child ; and here Amelia's peculiar talent 
 for the management of children first showed itself, for 
 though herself only fifteen at this time, she soon ac- 
 quired complete authority over the child, who became 
 to her perfectly respectful and obedient. On the whole, 
 
 c
 
 18 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 Amelia found herself very happy in her new home, and 
 was only sometimes disturbed by the discontent of her 
 sister-like cousin, Miss Hosch, who, having been ac- 
 customed to perfect independence, could not reconcile 
 herself to the habits of submission necessary in her 
 new position, and used to pour out her grievances to 
 Amelia. 
 
 A far heavier sorrow was the separation from her 
 brothers. Grustavus often came to see her, but Edward 
 was soon placed in a merchant's office in London. They 
 carried on as frequent a correspondence as was possible 
 at that period, when the continent was closed to Eng- 
 land, and Amelia kept her brother informed of all that 
 was going on, both in his native city and in their 
 own circle. These letters show the warmest affection 
 towards him, and also the deep, but as yet unde- 
 fined longing that was making itself felt in her own 
 heart for some fuller and more improving exercise 
 of her powers and a more serious and worthier purpose 
 in life than she then knew. More freedom than for- 
 merly she certainly had, but, from the extreme stiffness 
 that then prevailed among them, she found little satis- 
 faction in the intercourse with her relatives which gra- 
 titude imposed on her. We may form some idea of 
 the constraint and formality of the manners in certain 
 families at that period, from the fact that, in many 
 houses, the children were not permitted to visit their 
 father without previously announcing their intention by
 
 EARNING MONET. 19 
 
 a note, which must be written in French. Very dif- 
 ferent was the more intellectual circle gathered round 
 her Aunt Sieveking in Neumiihlen, which Amelia now 
 first learnt to appreciate. There she passed many 
 happy hours in the society of her aunt, for whom she 
 had a sincere esteem and affection, but she was never 
 able to acquire any great taste for the acquaintance of 
 good Mdlle. Dimpfel. 
 
 All paid instruction had now to cease, and the lessons 
 of which Amelia most regretted the loss were those in 
 French, English, and drawing. She read, however, a 
 good deal by herself, but much of her time was spent 
 in embroidering for money an employment which her 
 relatives considered suitable to her position. Her trials 
 at this time were not aggravated by any false pride ; she 
 did not feel that there was any degradation in fetching 
 work from the shops and taking it back when done; 
 but she did find the expenditure of time to so little pur- 
 pose almost intolerable, and she pours out her heart on 
 this subject to her brother Edward in a letter, which is 
 most characteristic of her whole tone of thought. * It is 
 something frightful,' she says, ' to have toiled as hard as 
 I can for a whole day, and to know at the end that the 
 only thing I have accomplished is that some one will 
 possess an embroidered pillow-case who would sleep just 
 as well upon a plain one. All I want is to spend my 
 strength upon things that have some worth and use in 
 them.' Still vanity and ambition sometimes put in their 
 
 c 2
 
 20 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 claims : the musical skill of other girls inspired her with 
 acute regret that she had never learnt to play, and thus 
 found herself placed at a disadvantage compared to others. 
 Her younger brother once caught her shedding tears over 
 this deficiency, and being very musical himself, proposed 
 to teach her the piano. She joyfully accepted the offer, 
 but was so completely destitute of talent, that in spite 
 of great pains on both sides the attempt had little 
 success. In after years she lamented that she had 
 wasted on the piano so large a portion of the time spent 
 with her beloved brother, from whom she might have 
 learned many things that would have been more valu- 
 able to her. Though her reading at this time was 
 extensive, it was less select than formerly, when her 
 brother Edward chose her books, and would not allow 
 her to read novels. She now devoured all works of 
 fiction with avidity, spending whole Sundays over them, 
 until she became completely satiated with this class of 
 reading, and of her own accord sought more solid 
 mental food elsewhere. 
 
 About this time Amelia was prepared for confirmation 
 by a much esteemed and orthodox clergyman, but she 
 received his instructions in a class of eighty children, so 
 that there was little opportunity for any close personal 
 intercourse, and she was once more deterred from 
 bringing forward the subject of her yet remaining 
 doubts. She had learnt, it is true, by this time to believe 
 in the immortality of the soul, but it still jarred on
 
 CONFIRMATION. 21 
 
 her feelings to hear prayer addressed to Christ. On 
 the whole, this course of instruction passed over her 
 almost without impression, which was, no doubt, chiefly 
 owing to the state of her own mind at the time. The 
 clergyman took the Gospel of St. John as his text-book, 
 and undoubtedly taught well, although in a somewhat 
 dry manner. Amelia was told afterwards that he had 
 pronounced her essays to be the best of the class. As, 
 however, each girl was left free to choose her own sub- 
 ject, she had naturally chosen those which were most 
 familiar to her, and probably, too, may have expressed 
 some things which did not spring in her case from a 
 real inward conviction. The day of confirmation itself 
 passed over without awakening any special emotion 
 indeed it was only by an effort that she was able to 
 maintain a certain amount of devotional feeling. It 
 was while attending these confirmation classes that she 
 first tried her powers as a teacher. At the first lesson 
 all were required to read aloud, and those who could 
 not do so fluently were rejected. Among the number 
 was a peasant girl, and as she went home Amelia found 
 her standing under a tree, weeping bitterly. Pitying 
 her grief, she offered to teach her to read, to the great 
 joy of the girl, who for some time came regularly to 
 her for lessons, but after a while, probably finding the 
 distance from her home too great, she appeared no 
 more ; so that Amelia had not the chance of gaining 
 much credit by her first pupil.
 
 22 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA STEVEKING. 
 
 About this time she was obliged to part from her 
 dear friend and governess, Miss Hosch, who left Miss 
 Dimpfel's to enter on another situation; but though 
 Amelia naturally felt this separation from the companion 
 of her childhood, yet it was o slight addition to her 
 comfort that henceforward she had only one authority 
 over her instead of two. She was enabled to visit her 
 Aunt Sieveking more frequently, and acquired a growing 
 taste for the genial and cultivated society of Neumiihlen ; 
 while the stiffness and narrow-mindedness of the more 
 restricted circles in which she had hitherto moved 
 failed any longer to satisfy the awakening intellectual 
 demands of the young girl's mind, and in them she 
 felt herself continually thrown back on her own re- 
 sources. 
 
 About this time Madame Sieveking's only daughter 
 died, after a protracted illness. She was older than 
 her cousin ; and her amiable character, her affectionate 
 disposition, her sweetness and resignation under length- 
 ened suffering, made a deep impression on Amelia, who 
 writes to her brother on this loss in a strain of deep 
 sorrow, and whose thoughts seem to have been occupied 
 for a long time with her cousin's memory. But life as- 
 serted its ordinary claims ; and as Amelia now passed 
 still more time with her aunt, it is probable that her 
 susceptible and eager mind would have been more en- 
 grossed by the social excitements around her than was 
 good for her, had it not been for her dependent position
 
 MADAME BRUNNEMANN. 23 
 
 and a change that soon took place in her outward 
 circumstances. 
 
 A wealthy widow lady, Madame Briinnemann, a 
 cousin of her mother's, proposed that Amelia should 
 come to live with her. Her children were married, 
 and she was living alone with a son, a youth of twenty 
 years of age, who had been an invalid from his child- 
 hood, and was frequently so ill that he could neither 
 hear nor see, and required constant attention and 
 amusing. Amelia was to share these cares with his 
 mother, and to be treated by her as a child of the house. 
 The family in general regarded this offer as a great 
 piece of good-fortune for the lonely girl, but she herself 
 extremely disliked the idea of the occupations proposed 
 to her. She writes to her brother, saying how much 
 rather she would qualify herself to be a governess, and 
 that she is quite resolved to leave Madame Briinne- 
 mann's house so soon as the recovery or death of her 
 patient should set her at liberty. Madame Briinnemann 
 was an excellent and kind-hearted woman, but somewhat 
 stiff and formal, and everything went on in her house 
 according to rule, to which, however, Amelia soon accom- 
 modated herself. Her duties consisted in reading aloud 
 to the invalid, amusing him, and assisting his mother 
 in the household, but she still had some hours at her 
 own disposal. It was in the beginning of the year 1811 
 that she first went to live with Madame Briinnemann. 
 
 In her * Conversations on Certain Passages of Holy
 
 24 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 Scripture,' she says, in reference to her residence at 
 Mdlle. Dimpfel's : ' There were many things in my 
 new home which I could not, and still more which I 
 would not, bring myself to like ; but this I am sure of, 
 that my residence there brought me one great blessing. 
 My dear old friend's whole life and being were pervaded 
 by a youthful cheerfulness, and whoever wished to know 
 whence she drew her brightness, need only once hear 
 her narrate stories from the Bible, or speak of any of 
 the great truths of religion, to see what it was that filled 
 her heart, and that her joy was truly a joy in the Holy 
 Grhost. No doubt her religion was more a matter of 
 the heart than of the head ; and hence, in the pride of 
 my intellectual culture, I regarded her as only an 
 amiable enthusiast, and never dreamt that I could come 
 to share in the feelings that moved her so powerfully. 
 I left her house without having attained to a true evan- 
 gelical faith ; but I carried with me a precious seed of 
 truth, which she had sown in my heart. An interest in 
 the Word of Grod was awakened in me, such as I had 
 never felt before, and with it a desire, though its fulfil- 
 ment indeed seemed unattainable, that I might one day 
 be able to believe like her, and like her be a partaker 
 of the great joy of believing.' 
 
 During the followiog years she kept up a regular 
 correspondence with Miss Hosch. These letters present 
 a picture of her daily life in the most simple and un- 
 affected language; while they display, not only the
 
 LEARNING TO NURSE. 25 
 
 constancy and truthfulness which formed the ground- 
 work of her character, but also a sound understanding 
 and a conscientious anxiety to fulfil her duties tho- 
 roughly. With regard to social intercourse, she was 
 still limited for the most part to the stiff family circle 
 which she had disliked so much at Mdlle. Dimpfel's, to 
 which, however, the married daughter of Madame 
 Briinnemann and her husband formed an agreeable 
 exception. But she was occasionally allowed to join 
 the more congenial society at her Aunt Sieveking's; 
 she saw her brother Grustavus from time to time, and 
 in general she seems to have been contented with her 
 position. Madame Briinnemann's son, however, became 
 gradually worse, and, after long and agonising suffer- 
 ings, which were most deeply trying to his poor mother, 
 he died in September of the same year. Amelia now 
 felt it impossible to carry out her former resolution, 
 and to forsake the poor mother in her bereavement, 
 from whom, too, she had received much kindness. It 
 was settled that an aged aunt of Madame Briinnemann's 
 should also take up her abode with them, but she fell 
 ill,, and died before this plan could be carried into 
 effect. She was faithfully nursed by Amelia, who thus 
 first exercised what afterwards proved so important a 
 part of her vocation, and for the first time passed a 
 night beside a dying bed. From this lady, and after- 
 wards from Madame Briinnemann, Amelia inherited a 
 small sum of money, the interest of which, together
 
 26 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKING. 
 
 with a pension from a public fund for the daughters 
 of deceased senators, was sufficient to supply her modest 
 requirements and insure her independence. 
 
 In summer Madame Briinnemann lived in a country 
 house, surrounded by a large garden, beyond the gates 
 of Hamburg. In the town house, where she resided 
 during the winter, the upper story was occupied by a 
 distantly-related family, who had three little daughters 
 and a governess. Amelia, who was naturally very fond 
 of children, spent much time with these little girls, 
 of whom the youngest was just able to walk ; while for 
 other social intercourse she was still thrown on the 
 circles in which her adopted mother moved. Madame 
 Briinnemann now began to enter into society again, 
 but the family parties which she chiefly frequented 
 lacked the stirring and vivifying element which the 
 young girl, with her yet unsatisfied longings for some 
 worthier aim in life, was constantly though half-uncon- 
 sciously seeking. She looked round in vain for some 
 congenial girl-friend, who could share her tastes and 
 views, and on whom she could bestow her affectionate 
 heart. Meanwhile she read a good deal with -her 
 adopted mother, principally travels and history; took 
 lessons in French, and for a short time in English ; 
 and even attempted to learn singing, but failed for 
 want of ear. Her singing-mistress was Louisa Reich- 
 ardt (the well-known daughter of the maitre de chapelle 
 Eeichardt), for whom Amelia conceived a strong affec-
 
 MADEMOISELLE KEICHAEDT. 27 
 
 tion. At a later period their common faith formed a 
 bond of union between them, but at this time Amelia 
 had not become a decided believer in Christianity ; still 
 the manifestation of its influence in her singing mis- 
 tress who combined much intellect with a gentle, 
 self-collected, almost awe-inspiring, bearing had a 
 peculiar attraction for her. Mdlle. Eeichardt was 
 rarely satisfied with her as a pupil, yet Amelia was 
 inwardly convinced that she could really appreciate her 
 true value far better than other girls who did her more 
 credit, and used to repeat to herself Gfoethe's words 
 ' If I love thee, what is that to thee ? ' When Mdlle. 
 Eeichardt was leaving for England, she presented some 
 of her most intimate friends with a little volume of 
 sacred poetry, consisting chiefly of hymns by Tersteegen. 
 When Amelia heard of this she begged for a copy, 
 saying afterwards, * Then perhaps she might see that I 
 have something in me besides want of taste for music.' 
 The year 1812, which brought so many losses and 
 calamities on Hamburg in consequence of the French 
 occupation, obliged Madame Briinnemann, like every- 
 one else, to retrench her expenditure, though not to 
 alter her whole mode of life. Amelia, too, considered 
 how she could save expense, and fell upon the idea 
 of doing her own washing. It is characteristic, both of 
 her conscientiousness and energy, that she really carried 
 this apparently rather unpractical notion into execution, 
 and for a whole summer washed all her own clothes
 
 28 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 in secret. The opportunity of learning something new 
 was always an attraction to her, and no doubt reconciled 
 Madame Briinnemann to the proceeding when she dis- 
 covered it. Thus she also encouraged her to learn 
 dressmaking and cooking, but Amelia had not the 
 least talent for either of these arts. 
 
 Besides these household accomplishments, her adopted 
 mother was equally anxious to see her acquire others 
 of more use in society, and therefore gave her lessons 
 in dancing, and allowed her to join in acting in private 
 theatricals, in which she had much difficulty in pre- 
 serving her gravity. A letter from Amelia to Miss 
 Hosch, in the summer of 1812, will best show how her 
 time was spent at this period of her life much, indeed, 
 like that of other well-brought-up girls : 'I rise 
 about six ; I meant to get up at five, but do not often 
 manage it, though I ought to be able to do it, with my 
 health. After dressing and coffee, I take a little time 
 for devotional reading ; for I like to consecrate the day 
 to what is good, though I do not make it an absolute 
 rule. Then I take an hour for writing, or arranging 
 my work for the day. At eight I go downstairs, 
 practise on the piano for an hour, and sing for another. 
 At ten we breakfast, when Madame Briinnemann 
 drinks tea ; but I follow your example, and only take 
 milk. Then we have a little walk, or if the weather is 
 hot, we go out before breakfast, and then do needle- 
 work and reading together till three. As to sewing,
 
 A DAY AT HOME. 29 
 
 I must tell you that I now really take great pains to 
 do it neatly, and keep to the thread, &c. ; not that I 
 think such little pedantry in work exactly necessary, but 
 I think it is good practice for me, and will keep me from 
 the danger of very untidy sewing when I have some day 
 to work more, and more quickly. At three we dine. From 
 four to half-past five I sit quietly in my own room, where, 
 for the first half-hour. I generally read something really 
 instructive. I am now reading a very interesting histo- 
 rical work that Gustavus has sent me. The rest of the 
 time is filled up with things that I cannot do with 
 Madame Briinnemann. The evening is spent, when 
 we are alone, like the morning, in walking, working, 
 and reading ; but we often have visitors, or go out.' . . . 
 * Milly K. is a nice good girl, and yet I cannot honestly 
 say that I miss her company when I do not see her. 
 The truth is, I believe, that I feel pretty much the 
 same towards nearly all my acquaintance. Whose 
 fault is it? I fear mine ; because my sympathy with 
 others is not so warm and wide as it should be.' 
 
 Some reflections written in her diary on the day of 
 her first communion have been seen by the writer, 
 which show the most earnest self-examination, and firm 
 resolve to conquer her faults and to strive after * virtue.' 
 These pages exhibit the struggles of a vigorous and 
 sincere mind thoroughly in earnest, and unable to find 
 satisfaction in half-convictions, but which has not as yet 
 found Him who alone can show the issue of this
 
 SO LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 labyrinth, and end the strife of self-accusing and self- 
 justifying thoughts, because He is Himself the Way, the 
 Truth, and the Life. To this date also refers the following 
 passage from Miss Sieveking's last work before quoted : 
 'Indolence was the vice of my nature, from my pos- 
 sessing a phlegmatic temperament. What will you say 
 when I tell you that, as a young girl, even after my 
 confirmation, I would dream away, not merely single 
 hours, but half days, idle on my bed, and that when I 
 was neither fatigued nor ill, but simply from a positive 
 dislike to employment. It is true that after these fits of 
 laziness I was ashamed of having so disgracefully wasted 
 my time, and felt clearly enough that if I was not to go to 
 ruin, morally speaking, I needed some stronger spur to 
 regular activity than I found in the home claims upon 
 me at that time. I looked around for some vocation 
 that should satisfy both my intellect and heart, and 
 the Lord suffered me to find it in the instruction of 
 youth, which furnished me henceforward with the best 
 weapon against my natural propensity to indolence.' 
 
 Yet, on the other hand, the impulse to work and to 
 make herself useful never altogether slumbered in 
 Amelia's heart. She used often to fetch the little 
 daughter of the family who lived in the same house 
 into her room to teach her knitting, and when, not long 
 afterwards, the governess was leaving, she asked very 
 modestly if she might be allowed to undertake the 
 education of the second girl. This was permitted, and
 
 HER FIRST SCHOOL. 31 
 
 she began; but soon finding that she should get on 
 better if she had a larger number of pupils, and that 
 no one had any objection to make, she took six others 
 from families of her acquaintance, and thus at the age 
 of eighteen began her first little school. In later years 
 she thus pronounces on this first attempt : f My secular 
 teaching was very tolerable, but my religious teaching 
 very insufficient. My own position was far from being 
 that of a believer, and my views in matters of faith 
 were completely rationalistic. My text-book for the 
 religious lessons was Lange's " Doctrine of the Soul," 
 which Madame Briinnemann had recommended to me. 
 Scripture History I did not teach the children at all, 
 because there was so much in it that was either offen- 
 sive or unintelligible to me, that I could not bring 
 myself to enter on the subject with them. I was at 
 least determined not to give them anything which I 
 did not possess myself; and I may, I think, apply to 
 myself the passage : " The Lord giveth success to the 
 upright." 
 
 ' Before their confirmation, I explained to my pupils 
 the orthodox doctrine of the Atonement, telling them 
 at the same time, however, that I did not myself believe 
 it, but did not consider my own views mature as yet on 
 these subjects, and therefore begged them to take no 
 account of my opinions. After their confirmation, too, 
 I used even at this time to gather them round me once 
 a week, and talk to them of divine things. Nor did
 
 32 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMOA SIEYEKING. 
 
 they remain in unbelief through my fault, for as soon 
 as light had dawned upon my own mind, I did all 
 I could to bring them also to the faith, and, thank 
 God, succeeded in every case. And although I had 
 continually to learn something first myself in order to 
 teach it to them, this plan had its advantages, for my 
 own mind remained fresh and thoroughly possessed 
 with the subject in hand. My education had certainly 
 been extremely defective, and now I was forced to 
 sketch out a plan of instruction entirely for myself. 
 But the having to strike out one's own course, though 
 many errors may be committed, is often preferable to 
 following the dry routine of a method which may be 
 excellent in itself, but is lifeless to the teacher who 
 took it up ready-made ; and again, the defective know- 
 ledge of a young girl may often be more profitable to 
 her scholars than the mass of information which young 
 men bring back from the university, and which leads 
 them to presuppose an amount of previous knowledge 
 in their pupils that is most probably entirely absent.'
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 1813-1815. 
 
 STORMY TIMES AMELIA'S SCHOOL PARTING FROM HER 
 
 BROTHER GUSTAVUS INWARD CONFLICTS. 
 
 ITIHE year 1813 brought the agitations of these stormy 
 -- and passionate times even into the still course of Ame- 
 lia's uneventful life. The entrance of the Russians under 
 Tettenborn, which threw Hamburg into a tumult of 
 joy, was followed by bitter mourning. Amelia's eldest 
 brother, with whom, during the French occupation of 
 the last few years, she had been able to correspond only 
 very seldom and quite by stealth, now left England, and 
 returned to take up arms for his native country, which 
 he loved with ardent enthusiasm. With unspeakable 
 joy she saw him once more in Hamburg. Those were 
 indeed days when all hearts were stirred to their depths 
 by a common joy and a common sorrow. Amelia 
 poured out her patriotic feelings in her letters to Miss 
 Hosch, whenever the necessary precautions would permit, 
 and in the darkest times maintained her own courage 
 and faith unshaken. We give the following very 
 
 D
 
 34 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 characteristic passage from one of her letters, dated 
 April 2, 1813, which reminds us of similar sentiments of 
 hers at a much later period : * All the young ladies are 
 now busily engaged in making shirts or knitting stockings 
 and socks for the volunteers. I, too, join in the work, 
 but more to avail myself of this opportunity of learning, 
 once for all, how to make a shirt, than because I think 
 it a very meritorious employment. For this coarse 
 sewing is eagerly sought by numbers of poor women 
 who can do nothing else, and would be most thankful 
 to earn an honest penny a-day ; and I think the ladies 
 would do better to let them get this trifle, which, after 
 all, would but very slightly increase the cost of the 
 shirts.' 
 
 Now came the re-occupation of Hamburg by the 
 French under Davoust, when the poor city was made to 
 pay a heavy price for the brief rejoicings over her li- 
 beration. The scarcity of food amounted almost to 
 famine, to avert which, as is well known, the merciless 
 commandant, on a bitter Christmas eve, drove out mul- 
 titudes of the defenceless inhabitants, including the 
 sick, lame, and blind. Numbers died of cold and 
 hunger ; the survivors gradually found asylums in 
 Altona, or the more distant Lubeck and Holstein. All 
 these horrors, and the multiplied calamities of the 
 times, exercised so depressing an influence on Gustavus 
 Sieveking, who was too young to enter the army 
 himself, as he wished, that his health gave way, and his
 
 LIBERATION OF HAMBURG. 35 
 
 relatives for a time felt great fear that he was falling 
 into a decline, but with the better times he gradually 
 revived. During the siege of Hamburg, when many 
 persons left the city, Madame Briinnemann went to a 
 friend at Altona for a fortnight, while Amelia and Grus- 
 tavus found a refuge with their other Aunt Sieveking in 
 that city. Their elder brother accompanied the Hanse- 
 atic Legion, and at length came the memorable 31st 
 of May 1814, when the French evacuated Hamburg, 
 and General Benningsen's army entered the city amidst 
 similar rejoicings to those which had greeted the ap- 
 proach of Tettenborn. Edward arrived a month later 
 with the Hanseatic Legion. The young maidens went 
 out to meet their brothers and relations on their return 
 with crowns of laurel ; and at a performance given in 
 the theatre on occasion of this festival, Amelia, over- 
 come by all the emotions of the day, fainted away for 
 the first and only time in her life. 
 
 Events now returned to their wonted course. Edward 
 Sieveking left the army, remained till the following 
 winter in Hamburg, and then settled as a merchant in 
 London. Madame Brunnemann took a country-house 
 a little beyond Altona, where she spent every summer, 
 up to the time of her death in 1839. The old family 
 meetings began again, and were as unsatisfactory as ever 
 to Amelia, especially filling up, as they often did, the 
 whole of the Sunday, from early in the morning till the 
 closing of the city gates at night. But the intellect 
 
 D 2
 
 36 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 must often hunger, that the character may ripen and 
 the soul awaken into its true life. 
 
 Of her intercourse at this time with those of her 
 own age, she thus writes in after years : ' Among other 
 young girls I could never find my right place ; what 
 interested them, and seemed to them most important, 
 was generally uninteresting and indifferent to me ; the 
 things which made them agreeable I could not acquire, 
 and the consciousness of this did not tend to make me 
 the more agreeable. I was often out of humour and in- 
 wardly restless, and then others had to suffer for it. But 
 external nature had a strong and soothing influence over 
 me. I used frequently to slip out after dinner and roam 
 far, far away into the country ; and then, behind a bush 
 in a wood, unseen by human eyes, I made my peace 
 with God, and seldom came home from such rambles 
 without bringing with me fresh energy for good. A 
 book of Salzmann's, called " Heaven upon Earth," made a 
 great impression on me at that time. Although it was 
 quite opposed to my later views, and thoroughly ration- 
 alistic in tone, its leading idea was a true one ; namely, 
 that it is possible for us here below to attain a foretaste 
 of our future bliss in heaven, and that, to be partakers 
 of it hereafter, we must be capable of entering into 
 its imperfect phase here on earth. Thus, it says, " We 
 imagine in heaven an intercourse with angels ; but what 
 are angels ? messengers of God. Are there not here 
 below messengers of God to us ? Is not every human
 
 HER LITTLE SCHOOL. 37 
 
 being such a messenger, if we will but hear his mes- 
 sage ? " I now tried honestly to find out what was the 
 message that this or that person was charged to bring 
 me, and when anyone seemed to me particularly tedious 
 or disagreeable, I thought to myself, "he is still, in 
 some way, a messenger of (rod to me ; what has he to 
 say to me ? why is he sent to me ? " 
 
 During the summer, Amelia went to town three times 
 a week to teach her school, and returned after the 
 lessons were over. In her diary for 1815 occurs the 
 passage : ' Some one reproached me to-day with taking 
 no lively interest in anything that did not concern my 
 little school. If the reproach was not quite deserved, 
 was it quite unfounded ? I must be upon my guard.' 
 This little school, her darling project, did indeed give 
 her much to think of and to do. With what earnestness 
 and delight she set to work at it from the first is shown 
 in numerous letters to Miss Hosch. Thus, for instance, 
 she writes, in October 1813, soon after she began to teach 
 little Augusta Woltmann : ' Every morning, precisely 
 at nine o'clock, my little darling comes into my room. 
 The time is given to reading on Wednesdays and Satur- 
 days, and, as Augusta has got into an indistinct way 
 of pronouncing, I let her read aloud a great deal, read- 
 ing often a few pages myself, which I think is the best 
 way to correct that defect. On Mondays and Thursdays 
 we learn geography, and I always make her write down 
 her recollections of what I have told her, partly to
 
 33 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 impress what she has heard on her memory, and partly 
 to exercise her in writing and in composition. I do the 
 same with natural history, which I teach her, however, 
 without any fixed system, which often, I think, makes 
 this subject unnecessarily dry. After I have taught my 
 little pupil the general divisions of each branch, I let 
 her choose for herself the subject on which she wishes 
 for farther details. With natural history I combine 
 technology, which seems to me to render the former 
 much more interesting, and in which I find the many 
 picture books I possess of great use. I cannot tell you 
 how all this interests and delights me. I know very 
 well that mere intellectual instruction forms the smallest 
 part of education, and that one can do much more for 
 children by constant superintendence and by setting a 
 good example. But still, I think I may be able to sow the 
 seeds of much future benefit, even in these lessons of a 
 few hours only, by heartily encouraging every impulse 
 to good, and directing the attention at every suitable 
 opportunity to the greatness and goodness of (rod. It 
 is thus I hope to win the pure open heart of my little 
 Augusta to the love of duty, and of all things noble 
 and beautiful.' 
 
 In November 1814 she writes thus of her little 
 school, which had now come into existence : * The 
 children come to me three times a week, from half-past 
 eleven to three. The last half hour I give to play, in 
 order that they may get to know and love each other,
 
 HER FIRST BALL. 39 
 
 while it also gives me the best opportunity for becoming 
 acquainted with their different characters. I do not 
 find the lessons a toil, as I never give one without pre- 
 paring for it beforehand, and limit myself to the first 
 groundwork of our subjects. Indeed I get on better 
 with several children than with only one.'. . . .'Imagine 
 my indulging in such a wild fancy ; old and stiff as I 
 am, I have actually put myself in the hands of a dancing 
 master ! I will at least do my very best to learn what I 
 can, that I may not look so peculiar among the merry, 
 dance-loving young people of my own age. But if I 
 cannot succeed this time, then I will once for all 
 solemnly renounce all these ill-natured fine arts that 
 are so obstinately ungracious to me.' 
 
 Soon after, Amelia went to a great ball for the first 
 time in her life, and writes to her brother Edward : f I 
 feel that I too am susceptible of that vivid pleasure in 
 the mere sense of life that others speak of in dancing, 
 and which I have often wished to experience. Listen 
 I know you will laugh at me but I cannot tell 
 you how it has often depressed me when I have heard 
 others, especially you, my strong agile brother, speak 
 so warmly of such moments of vivid enjoyment. Such 
 a strange melancholy feeling would come over me, to 
 think that I, whom my years still entitle to all the 
 pleasures of youth, was so entirely set apart by my 
 nature from those of my own age ; I felt myself, as it 
 were, old and withered before my time. It was not the
 
 40 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 pleasure itself that I envied you, but the youthful 
 blood that could flow quicker in your veins at the 
 thought of the pleasure. Do you understand me, dear 
 Edward ? It was no doubt very foolish of me, and 
 only another instance that, when we have no real 
 troubles we always set to work to make some for our- 
 selves. But now it is different. The feeling that I, too, 
 can enjoy what others of my age find delight in, is 
 uncommonly pleasant to me, even if I should never 
 again join in this sort of amusement. I can do with- 
 out it very well ; quiet daily happiness is the best and 
 truest.' 
 
 Amelia did not dance well, and she was quite aware 
 of it, but that from her want of personal attractions 
 she was little fitted to shine at a ball troubled her 
 no longer. Being perfectly clear in her own mind on 
 this point, she was on her guard against all self-delusion, 
 and the pretensions that it might cause pretensions 
 that, if they remained unsatisfied, might easily disturb 
 her peace of mind, and leave a sting in her soul. Still 
 she possessed a good deal of ambition, and with all her 
 reasonableness, was by no means unsusceptible to cen- 
 sure, whether it might fall on real faults or merely 
 trifling mistakes. Thus she writes after this ball in her 
 diary : ' I did not waltz, though the sight of the others 
 gave me a great longing to do so, and I am glad now 
 that I resisted the temptation. I should have been just 
 a little remarked upon for waltzing, and this would have
 
 ABSENCE OF GTJSTAVUS. 41 
 
 embittered all my pleasure at the time, and all my recol- 
 lections afterwards. It is odd what a deep sting is left 
 in one's heart by the feeling that one has exposed one's 
 self to remarks. Is it not really almost as painful as 
 the feeling of positive guilt ? ' 
 
 In the spring of 1815, Amelia's dearly-loved brother 
 Gustavus went to the University at Leipsic, and she 
 writes in her diary : ' A dreary time for me ! I seem to 
 feel the absence of Gustavus only through its influence 
 on everything else; my heart is so heavy, so dead to 
 all enjoyment I might almost say to all feeling. What 
 is this ? I do not know, but it is indescribably painful, 
 and must be altered. I must find courage for life ! ' 
 
 But it was no outward trouble that thus oppressed 
 her, and often weighed down her soul with a burden 
 that she did not understand ; it was not even, as might 
 be supposed, the ever-recurring fluctuations of a naturally 
 melancholy temperament. On the contrary, in later life, 
 notwithstanding all the toils of her occupation, she con- 
 stantly preserved that unruffled serenity and content- 
 ment which springs from a thorough harmony between 
 the outward and inward life, and she wrote as her motto 
 beneath her portrait, the words : * Eejoice in the Lord 
 alway, and again I say rejoice.' 
 
 She once told her young pupils that some one had 
 called her life a thorny path, and added : ' But it was 
 not so; and if I were to publish my own history, it 
 would be under the title of " Memoirs of a Happy Old
 
 42 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEVEKING. 
 
 Maid ; " and my object would be to prove that true 
 happiness is to be found even outside the Eldorado of 
 matrimony. No ; my life was not a thorny one, or at 
 any rate only in so far as no life can be quite free from 
 troubles. Naturally, there were thorns in my path too, 
 but there were many roses as well ; and many a time 
 a fear has come over me, when I have thought of those 
 words, that " through much tribulation we must enter 
 into the kingdom of God." ' 
 
 At this time, however, Amelia had not yet found 
 what she was seeking with all the energies of her 
 thirsting, struggling soul : redemption through Christ, 
 and through Him alone. She wore herself out in 
 fruitless efforts ; a mere outward form could not satisfy 
 her, and the inner substance she could not yet grasp ; 
 she could not fulfil her duties as she wished; she 
 could not give her life the reality and value she longed 
 for. The following more frequent extracts from her 
 letters and diaries in the years 1815 and 1816 furnish 
 us with a picture of the course of her inner life up to a 
 period which she herself describes as a crisis in' its 
 progress. She was seeking for Truth ; she had entered 
 into habitual communion with God, and ' the Lord is 
 nigh unto all such as call upon Him, even unto all 
 those that call upon Him with their hearts.' He was 
 nearer to her than she knew.
 
 43 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 1815-1816. 
 
 OPINIONS ON VARIOUS SUBJECTS FROM HER LETTERS TO 
 GUSTAVUS SCHOOL FOR POOR CHILDREN ON BIBLE 
 
 LESSONS. 
 
 IN the course of this summer Amelia's eldest brother 
 Edward had married a very amiable young lady, a 
 native of Hamburg, whom Amelia had long known and 
 valued, and had taken his young wife back to London. 
 When the news arrived of Napoleon's escape from Elba 
 and landing in France, her second brother, Gustavus, 
 the young Leipsic student, went to the field, and 
 marched for France with his Hamburg friends as a 
 volunteer in the cavalry. She saw him in Hamburg 
 on his way, and sent her prayers and blessing with 
 him. The battle of Waterloo, however, soon put an 
 end to the war, and in November Grustavus returned 
 to Hamburg, stronger and browner for his campaign, 
 and ere long went back to Leipsic to begin his theolo- 
 gical studies. He was a very gifted young man, of 
 great purity and depth of character, more inclined to
 
 44 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 ideal dreams and aspirations than his sister, and hence 
 often exposed to painful disenchantments in every-day 
 life ; thus, during the campaign, his enthusiastic pa- 
 triotism was often wounded by the low and selfish views 
 that were from time to time betrayed by those around 
 him. Amelia writes to him in September: 'Have 
 faith, do good ; this is the only consolation I have for 
 you. None but a noble heart will find it availing, 
 and for this very reason I offer it to you. Let us be 
 indulgent to other people, dear Grustavus; we do not 
 know what their powers may be, but from each other 
 we will demand great things, for much was given to us, 
 and therefore much will be required. We will aim at 
 what is best and highest ; only do not let us despise the 
 lowest, and let us do whatever we do with all our might.' 
 
 Somewhat later she writes again to him : ' The 
 want of certain natural capacities has given me sorrow 
 enough in life already : now that I have at last attained 
 a calm and quiet view on this matter, I will hold it fast 
 and not let it go again on any consideration.' 
 
 In December he left Hamburg and returned to his 
 studies in Leipsic, and Amelia writes in her diary after 
 this separation : l Parted from him for four years ! 
 What a length of time ! How everything, everything, 
 must change in these four years ! How shall we meet 
 again ! alas ! and can we tell whether we ever shall ? ' 
 
 Towards the close of this year she says in a letter to 
 her sister-in-law : ' Could we ever be really called to
 
 MODERATION IN WOEK. 45 
 
 something, and not at the same time find strength 
 given us from above to obey the call unreservedly ? ' . . . 
 
 ' In Sweden it is still the universal custom for women 
 and girls, not only to spin, but to weave all their clothing; 
 embroidery, therefore, must be quite out of the question 
 there. Here one new kind of fine needlework is invented 
 after another, which is always admired the more, the 
 more troublesome and destructive to the eyes it is. I 
 am once for all stupid at all these things. But when 
 I find I really can no longer retain the respect of my 
 friends here, I know now there is a country in the world 
 where plain spinning and weaving are still in fashion 
 and I shall go to Sweden ! ' 
 
 In January 1860 she writes to Ghistavus: 'The 
 true, real life of a man lies in working by love, and his 
 life is fuller and more blessed, the more freely, joy- 
 fully, and beneficially he can thus work.' 
 
 Again in another letter: 'We ought never volun- 
 tarily so to extend our sphere of labour that our activity 
 becomes an unharmonious disorderly struggle, in which 
 we constantly lose that power of calm reflection and 
 clear mastery over our life on which so much of our own 
 best happiness and usefulness to others depends. In 
 the golden rule of 'moderation lies undoubtedly the 
 essential condition of all stable human happiness.' 
 
 Madame Briinnemann's married daughter had no 
 children, and she had adopted a little girl, whom she 
 was most anxious to place under Amelia's tuition. As,
 
 46 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 however, the child was much younger than her other 
 pupils, Amelia found herself obliged to open a second 
 set of classes, consisting also of six children. Not without 
 hesitation did she undertake this new responsibility, 
 and we see from her diaries that she sought strength to 
 meet it in earnest prayer. 
 
 In January 1816 she writes to her brother: 'For 
 some time past my mind has been troubled by a most 
 disquieting doubt whether my present occupation might 
 not be leading me too much away from my proper 
 sphere as a woman. I felt that there was much to be 
 said on both sides, and the conflict of opposing thoughts 
 troubled me greatly, for above all things it is necessary to 
 my peace to have a clear and satisfactory conception of my 
 whole life before my mind's eye. At last I have attained 
 it. I am peaceful and happy again, and I owe this to a 
 solitary hour when I took the courageous resolve to think 
 over my whole position without reserve from which I 
 had always recoiled before and then to take my stand 
 on whatever I might come to see to be my duty. I laid 
 three principal questions before myself: whether with 
 the present extension of my undertaking I could pre- 
 serve my womanly character quite uninjured ? what 
 were the obligations I owed to my aunt ? what to the 
 parents of the children entrusted to me ? and then I 
 came to the following conclusions : The education of 
 children in which light, and not as mere instruction, I 
 wish my occupation to be regarded belongs of right,
 
 WOMEN S EMPLOYMENTS. 47 
 
 according to my ideas, to the proper sphere of woman ; 
 still it forms only a portion of her sphere, and perhaps 
 I devote too much time in proportion to this part of the 
 whole. With the housekeeping I confess I have little 
 concern that is, I take little active part in it but the 
 whole arrangement of the house is not calculated to admit 
 of my doing so. But in general, I think that house- 
 keeping, as it is carried on in most Hamburg houses, 
 scarcely deserves the name; at least I can see nothing in 
 it but giving out things and writing them down. " As 
 to other feminine occupations, no doubt I have still 
 much to learn, but I kaow enough to manage them all 
 in some way ; and if I am still far from perfection, 
 I am certainly above mediocrity. Only about em- 
 broidery and other such little finikin handiworks, I am 
 fairly stupid ; but these I have never reckoned as part of 
 my business, and I always find time to keep my own 
 linen and clothes in order. But it is not merely in 
 particular acts, but in the whole manner and tone of 
 feeling, that true gentle womanliness should manifest 
 itself; and might not my present employment, which 
 necessitates some occupation with books and scientific 
 knowledge, have an injurious influence in this respect? 
 I feel indeed that there is need to be on my guard here; 
 but in earnest prayer to God, I have attained the con- 
 viction that honest endeavour and watchfulness will not 
 be in vain. Love, love is the great power which must 
 give the true womanly charm to my character. I will
 
 48 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKLNG. 
 
 learn to love my fellow-creatures more warmly and 
 tenderly than I have done, and for the sake of my 
 affection they shall forgive me, even if some may think 
 that I venture too far out of my proper sphere. That 
 anyone could accuse me of being, in the slightest de- 
 gree, a learned woman, I do not believe (and indeed 
 a woman's knowledge can never be called learning 
 except in mockery) ; indeed I think I have improved in 
 social qualities in many respects by my intercourse with 
 the children. ... If at any time my aunt should require 
 my care, it is needless to say that I should at once 
 restrict my hours of instruction Meanwhile she her- 
 self declared to me that it was her particular desire 
 that I should do something for little Henrietta (her 
 daughter's adopted child), and that she would look 
 on all the time I devoted to this object as devoted 
 to herself. But perhaps I ought to have confined 
 myself to the instruction of Henrietta and the other 
 children of her age, and entirely given up my older 
 classes. Even, however, if my kind aunt had not told 
 me that it never entered her head to require this, I 
 should still feel obliged to take into account my duties 
 towards the parents of these children, the children them- 
 selves, and indeed towards myself, which imperatively 
 demand the continuance of all my lessons. It is true I 
 did not give a distinct promise to carry the children on 
 to a certain point, but I am deeply convinced that it 
 would be hurtful to them to break off suddenly now,
 
 EXTRACTS FROM HER DIARY. 49 
 
 and in general my opinion is unfavourable to a fre- 
 quent change of teachers. And what would become of 
 my sweet dream of winning these children's hearts for 
 life ? Thus it has now become clear to me, what is 
 the work that Grod has called me to do at the present 
 time ; to Him will I go for strength to fill my sphere 
 of labour worthily.' 
 
 Soon afterwards she writes in her diary : ' Let the 
 duties that lie nearest to you be always the most impera- 
 tive ; the members of your own home circle will always 
 have the first claim to your affection and usefulness. 
 I lay this down henceforward as an unalterable rule.' 
 And farther on : ' I must be on my guard lest the 
 pressure of occupations on me just now should interfere 
 with the lovingness of heart in which they ought to be 
 carried on : a loving heart is far more necessary to the 
 children than knowledge.' In letters to her brother 
 GKistavus about this time she says : 'Ah ! believe me, I 
 have come to see most clearly that Love is the best, the 
 highest, and the holiest for man, and that nothing else 
 is to be compared to it. I have not always felt this so 
 strongly, and probably there may still be left a certain 
 somewhat of sharpness in my manner, which does not 
 bear witness to my inward conviction. At least, I 
 am obliged to conclude so from the way in which 
 certain persons treat me, and it has made me more 
 
 than once very sad.' 'I said that it was love 
 
 which must diffuse the charm of womanliness over my 
 
 E
 
 50 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 character, but I know that the dominion of love in me 
 is still too often combated by harsh and hostile feelings, 
 and it may be that this will be the case for a long time 
 yet. But at last ! at last ! I long and strive after that fair 
 vision of the future ! We are all in a state of transition; 
 I am nothing yet, but I grow towards something, and 
 what a heavenly delight lies in this growth ! ' 
 
 She writes in her diary about this time : * I believe, 
 had Providence placed me in other circumstances, I 
 might have been inclined to. look down upon others, 
 and to be harsh and arrogant in my judgments. I 
 must be constantly on my guard ; love must preserve 
 me from this, and must spread ever more and more gen- 
 tleness and unassumingness over my whole character.' 
 
 Meanwhile new doubts had sprung up in her mind, 
 whether the increased demands of her school on her 
 time might not interfere with the proper fulfilment of 
 her duties ; for she writes to Grustavus on the subject, 
 and, after saying that she has overcome these doubts by 
 earnest self-examination, she concludes : ' If the plans I 
 have now laid out for myself are unwise, Providence 
 will find means to bring them to nought ; but if they 
 coincide with its wise purposes, it will bestow on me both 
 the needful ability and success.' .... In the same letter 
 she says, among other things : ' How dead is a mere 
 religion of the understanding! how empty of happiness 
 to most ! how cold it leaves the heart ! ' 
 
 About this time, a small circle of ladies, of whom
 
 SCHOOL FOR THE POOR. 51 
 
 Amelia was one, founded a school in which twelve poor 
 girls received gratuitous instruction. The number of 
 scholars was afterwards increased to eighteen. A matron 
 had the general superintendence, and taught the children 
 sewing, knitting, &c.; the rest of the elementary in- 
 struction was given by the ladies of the committee on 
 their respective days. Amelia took a warm interest in the 
 scheme, drew up a short morning prayer for the children, 
 and, as she usually did, accomplished to the fullest ex- 
 tent all the duties she undertook. But the claims on 
 her time had now become exceedingly numerous, and as 
 she carried her peculiar earnestness and conscientious- 
 ness into all her engagements, these accumulated oc- 
 cupations often caused her much secret thought and 
 anxiety. Thus she says in her diary: 'It must be a 
 very different thing to educate one's own children, 
 instead of other people's ; how constantly in the latter 
 case one is made to feel the presence of a counteracting 
 influence ! Just now I am feeling the want of some 
 suitable mode of punishment ; alas ! I thought I should 
 never need one ! but with B. and A. it often happens 
 that affection and kindness alone will not do. And yet, 
 and yet, it must come right at last ; Grod will succour 
 and support my weakness.' 
 
 Again, in April : * I long so for once to know and feel 
 a true thorough enjoyment of life ! I long to convert 
 into a truth of experience the maxim I hold in faith, 
 that peace and joy are to be found, even in this world, 
 
 E 2
 
 52 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 by everyone whose heart is pure and loving And 
 
 yet something often steals over me that is very like 
 a weariness of life. But I will bar its nearer approach ; 
 I cannot lack the strength to do so ; the thought of Him 
 who will one day require an account at my hands, shall 
 make me feel every moment to be full of significance ! ' 
 In April she writes to Gustavus on the subject of 
 her female friends : ' Several are much to me, the most 
 are something, but not one of them, I must confess to 
 you, not one of them is everything. This frequently 
 makes me melancholy, On the whole, however, I do 
 not lament over it, at least not now ; as indeed I hope to 
 become daily more and more content with every point in 
 my lot that is ordained for me by the Supreme Wisdom. 
 Its counsels have suffered me to pass my childhood in 
 such seclusion, that I had almost no girl-playfellows, 
 and saw those I had but seldom; have early inclined 
 me to gravity and earnestness; have seen fit not till a 
 later period to render my heart susceptible of softer 
 impressions ; and have provided for its developement by 
 leading me in a way in which I shall find few com- 
 panions to sympathise with me. But the position 
 which Providence has assigned to me must be the best for 
 me ; my only care should be carefully to cultivate the 
 powers which it has implanted. My love for my fellow- 
 creatures differs probably from that of many others ; but, 
 after all, has not everyone his own peculiarities ? The 
 most beautiful ideal of love is that which St. Paul has
 
 BIBLE LESSONS. 53 
 
 placed before me in his Epistle to the Corinthians, and 
 this, I tell you frankly, appears to me to be something 
 far greater and higher than the most exalted friend- 
 ship.' 
 
 She asks her brother in the same letter to point out 
 to her some book containing an exposition of the New 
 Testament, and says : * I am now reading the Grospel of 
 Matthew with the children, for I should like early to 
 kindle their love for the beauties of the noblest among 
 books. But do not imagine that I think it also necessary 
 to present them with any dry theological learning ; you 
 will not suppose me guilty of such folly. Everything 
 must be clear to myself, so far as this is possible 
 obscurities will no doubt always remain but where I 
 discern any means of procuring light for myself, I have 
 no right, I think, to neglect it, because every new con- 
 viction gained brings me also new delight in proving 
 to the children the divinity of our Christian faith.' 
 
 It should be remembered, and indeed, throughout 
 the subsequent course of Amelia's mental history, we 
 must never lose sight of the fact, that her opinions, 
 views, and plans, always grew out of her own most in- 
 dividual tone of thought, and the experiences of her 
 deepest life ; she never allowed anything to be forced 
 upon her from without, and was by no means submis- 
 sive to the dominion of external authorities. She must 
 examine for herself, before she could accept or reject; 
 and hence her style and her explanations on many
 
 54 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 subjects, when they took the form of communications 
 with others, had a remarkable clearness, but at the 
 same time a certain prolixity, the fruit of thorough 
 investigation of the matter on all sides. But we never 
 find her giving utterance to unmeaning words ; scarcely 
 ever does anything rise to her lips or her pen that bears 
 the slightest resemblance to mere fine writing; and 
 even those moods of feeling which in imaginative 
 persons, who do not keep a watchful guard over them- 
 selves, exercise so great an influence on their preferences 
 and opinions, could not in her case cloud her sight or bribe 
 her judgement; both because she always maintained a 
 strict self-government, and gave a clear account to her- 
 self of her own feelings and impulses, and because she 
 had mostly taken time for reflection before she spoke or 
 wrote. This circumstance gives a peculiar value to the 
 views and opinions here given to the world ; they are 
 characteristic of her whole personality; at the same 
 time it must not be forgotten that this personality had 
 not as yet attained its maturity. 
 
 Thus she writes on occasion of a duel to Grustavus : 
 ' I must confess that I do not understand what sort of 
 thing that honour is, which can be preserved by such a 
 proceeding ! I know that you do not agree with me 
 on this point, but you wish that I should tell you openly 
 what I think and feel, and therefore I keep back 
 nothing from you, sure that your brotherly love will 
 not misunderstand me, and that differing opinions on
 
 JOHANN VON MULLER. 55 
 
 single points have no power to divide hearts that are in 
 other ways firmly linked together; the real truth is, 
 in fact, often arrived at only through argument. You 
 have several times held up to me, as a defence of 
 duelling, the beneficial influence that it exercises on 
 the refinement of manners. But this is no justification 
 of the practice in my eyes. Can you name to me one 
 folly, one wrong custom among men, which has not in 
 the hands of the Euler of all been made to produce 
 some good results to the world at large ? But these 
 results are His work ; they do not fall within the sphere 
 of us short-sighted mortals, and can never, therefore, be 
 reckoned to our credit.' 
 
 About this time Amelia was reading with her aunt 
 the letters of Johann von Miiller to his family, and 
 writes with warm enthusiasm to her brother : 
 
 ' These letters are pervaded by an indescribably good 
 and affectionate spirit ; one sees how the man's heart 
 thirsted to promote the welfare of others, and cannot 
 but learn to love him. If he were still living, if he 
 suddenly stood before me, I could trust him with my 
 all. I think there are few living persons for whom I 
 have felt so much and so strongly as for this dead one, 
 who was utterly unknown to me in this world.' 
 
 In his answer GKistavus must have attacked his 
 sister's favourite pretty sharply, for her next letter 
 says : 
 
 * I demand satisfaction from you for the mode in
 
 56 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 which you have assailed the honour of my dear and 
 venerated Johann von Miiller. If we were living in the 
 old days of chivalry, and I were a knight, I would 
 throw down my gauntlet to you for having so calum- 
 niated him to me. The farther I go in his letters, the 
 more worthy of honour and affection I find him. And 
 now I boldly maintain, without knowing the circum- 
 stances of the later period of his life, that such a man 
 could not sink ; he cannot have become untrue to him- 
 self. A man who for forty-eight years had so faithfully 
 listened to the voice within, and watched the indications 
 of Providence who, like Miiller, had kept himself un- 
 spotted in so many critical positions, had withstood so 
 many alluring temptations, cannot have swerved from 
 the path of right and duty in his closing days. Or if 
 it did happen, it could be only an error of the judge- 
 ment, not a perversion of the heart. Oh, what pious, 
 loving, noble feelings inspired that heart ! These could 
 never perish; no, doiibtless they are even now in a 
 process of eternal and glorious developement, and if I 
 could see my saint, I should see him exalted and 
 glorified. But my unshaken faith in him will not 
 restore yours, so I suppose I must let you off without 
 demanding satisfaction.' 
 
 On another subject of great importance to her she 
 writes thus to her brother : 
 
 4 Upon one point, dear Grustavus, I am not quite of 
 your opinion : namely, that we ought to set before
 
 BIBLE LESSONS. 57 
 
 children only the most beautiful and exalted passages of 
 Scripture, and spare them whatever is obscure or unintel- 
 ligible. My present intention is to begin by going through 
 the whole of St. Matthew's Grospel with them, leaving 
 out only a few passages, and these not because of their 
 obscurity, but because they might give them too much 
 light on certain subjects (those, for instance, relating to 
 adultery). My idea is this : once for all, we all alike as 
 human beings, but especially my own sex, who are not 
 fitted for abstract research, are called to live by faith, 
 not by sight. Were it not well, then, to accustom the 
 young mind to this from its earliest childhood, when, 
 moreover, the soul is naturally so susceptible to religious 
 faith ? You think there are many passages which might 
 prove a stumbling-block to young minds, and awaken 
 perilous doubts. I think so too, if the children see that 
 you are anxiously endeavouring to explain and clear up 
 everything to them. But I have always gone upon this 
 principle with them : " Dear children, the Bible is not 
 man's work, but (rod's ; no wonder that there are many 
 things in it which are a riddle to our short-sighted 
 human understanding. Probably, no human being is 
 capable of fully explaining the Holy Scriptures, certainly 
 I am not. But groping into its dark passages will do 
 us no good ; upon all that we need to know, there is 
 shed clear and sufficient light; we must keep to that." 
 Upon this principle I often have to fall back, and would 
 always rather do so, than give them an explanation
 
 58 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKIXG. 
 
 which they would see at once was forced, an expedient 
 that in my opinion would be the most direct road to 
 doubt and scepticism. But that I do not keep the 
 children hi the dark more than needs be that, on the 
 contrary, I should be glad to give them every reason- 
 able explanation that is at all within my power to obtain, 
 you may see from my endeavours to extend my own 
 knowledge on such points from all good sources. One 
 thing more I would suggest for your consideration : Do 
 you not think there would be a risk that the Bible 
 might lose something of its sacred dignity in the eyes 
 of a man who in his earlier years had been made 
 acquainted only with a careful selection of what is most 
 powerful, attractive, and intelligible in its contents, 
 when at last, sooner or later, the book itself fell into 
 his hands ? Would not the very care with which his 
 teacher had avoided touching on certain points arouse 
 his suspicions concerning them ? Would he not, accus- 
 tomed only to what was at once intelligible, vehemently 
 demand that everything should be so, and feel himself 
 bitterly disappointed when he could not find the ex- 
 planation he sought ? My little pupils, as far as I can 
 read their hearts, are never in the least disturbed by 
 anything which lies above their range of thought, but 
 also it would never occur to them to laugh at any 
 unusual expression which they might not understand. 
 They know that the Bible is too sacred to me, for me to
 
 BIBLE LESSONS. 59 
 
 allow such a thing to pass without the most serious 
 reproof, and they seem already themselves to feel a sort 
 of reverence for the Holy Scriptures at least they say 
 how much they like those lessons when I read the Bible 
 aloud to them, and talk with them about it.'
 
 60 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 1816-1817. 
 
 JOURNEY TO MAGDEBURG RETAINS ONLY ONE CLASS OF 
 
 PUPILS CORRESPONDENCE WITH MINNA HOSCH INVITA- 
 TION TO ENGLAND HER BROTHER'S FIRST SERMON 
 
 YOUTHFUL FEELINGS EXTRACTS FROM LETTERS HER 
 
 RELIGIOUS POSITION. 
 
 IN the course of this summer, Amelia accompanied 
 her aunt to Magdeburg, on a visit to an old friend 
 of the latter, married to the President von V., who was 
 at that time in very delicate health. Here she came in 
 contact with a fresh circle, in which she found much to 
 interest her ; for, with her innate love of knowledge 
 and quick interest in human life, she was always pleased 
 to make new acquaintances. She sought society and 
 conversation that stimulated and enriched the mind, 
 especially that of able men, and in this sense her dis- 
 position, as soon as her first shyness was overcome, was 
 eminently social, and remained so through life. On a 
 visit to the little settlement of Grnadau, near Magde- 
 burg, she heard the congregational singing of the 
 Moravians for the first time, and it made a stronger
 
 BIRTHDAY EEFLECTIONS. 61 
 
 impression on her than any music had ever done before. 
 She writes in her diary : ' Their singing expressed a 
 deep yearning after a life in Grod, apart from the world, 
 full of piety and love. Ah ! how ashamed I felt of my 
 worldly heart ! how those sounds stilled its restless 
 throbbing ! I longed to be one of those gentle sisters, 
 who seemed to me to be the betrothed of heaven ! ' 
 
 After her return, she writes on her twenty-third 
 birthday to Minna Hosch : 
 
 ' I should have been quite, quite happy to-day, but 
 for two things which threw a cloud over my spirits. 
 The first was, that in my serious morning review of the 
 past year, I found so much in my moral condition to 
 grieve me. Just lately I have been so very far from 
 what I ought to be ; I felt now most vividly how 
 imperfect is all the good in me, how many bad habits 
 I have to lay aside, how many inadmissible inclina- 
 tions I have to combat, how slow altogether is my 
 progress on the path which leads us to the goal. Do 
 not try to persuade me otherwise ; on this point each 
 knows best for himself how it stands with him no other 
 can judge for us. But this discovery shall not make 
 me lose courage. Schiller's verse shall be my motto : 
 
 And Virtue, it is not an empty dream, 
 
 But man may attain it in life, 
 At least he may strive toward that image divine, 
 
 Though his foot may oft slip in the strife.' 
 
 The second thing which caused her some anxiety and
 
 62 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEETNG. 
 
 pain on that day, she thus relates in a letter to her 
 brother Grustavus : 
 
 4 1 am answering your letters backwards, in beginning 
 mine with the reasons which have led me to what you 
 think my sudden resolution to give up my younger 
 class of pupils. It by no means, however, deserves this 
 epithet : I have long balanced the reasons for and against 
 in secret, and my decision has slowly formed itself in 
 my mind. Do you not remember that I wrote to you 
 about it as long ago as last spring? What I chiefly 
 dwelt upon at that time, if I do not mistake, was the 
 feeling that I had undertaken more than I could fully 
 carry out, and that I was thus forced to leave first one 
 thing, then another, incomplete a feeling which then 
 came over me vividly at times, but grew much stronger 
 in the course of the summer, when the necessity of 
 going backwards and forwards every day to my teaching 
 greatly increased its laboriousness. But I remained 
 true to the resolution I had formed in the spring, 
 that until the autumn I would go on in the path 
 marked out for me, looking neither to the right hand nor 
 the left ; perhaps, I thought, practice will make my work 
 easier, make it possible for me to continue as I am and 
 accomplish it satisfactorily ; any fickleness about that to 
 which our nature inwardly calls us, is to me so utterly 
 distasteful. But it would not do ; in spite of the most 
 exact arrangement of my time, I was obliged to slur 
 over so much of what I did, that it seemed to me at last
 
 OVER-WORK. 63 
 
 tnost clearly a duty to give up some portion of my 
 teaching. Next came the question, whether I should 
 keep the older or younger children, and this choice 
 troubled me not a little. My heart indeed spoke loudly 
 for the former ; with them I must have renounced one of 
 my fairest schemes for the future, on the execution of 
 which I laid much stress I mean the hope of forming 
 for myself friends for life out of those children. True, 
 I might have worked towards the same aim with the 
 younger ones, but I must have begun again at the 
 beginning, and to how much more distant a future must 
 I not have looked forward ! Yet there was much to be 
 said on that side above all, that my aunt so much 
 wished Henrietta to remain with me. You may 
 imagine how much this weighed with me, and how my 
 own secret preference made me suspicious of every 
 reason which seemed to favour it. It would take too 
 long to tell you all the pros and cons which kept me 
 for some time undecided ; while my doubts filled me with 
 a sort of dread, the more as I could say little about 
 them to anyone else, being convinced that in certain 
 cases the decision must be wrought out in one's own 
 mind, if one is afterwards to rest in it, be the result 
 what it may. In short, at last the feeling preponderated 
 that in this case inclination and duty were in harmony, 
 and so it is decided I keep the elder children. My 
 decision is not disapproved by the others ; my dear kind 
 Aunt and Hanna Schlingemann have quite entered into
 
 64 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 my feelings, and at last all is arranged, and yesterday I 
 gave my last lesson to the little ones. And now it is all 
 right again, I am cheerful and contented. I look forward 
 with real pleasure to the coming winter, and especially 
 to the opportunities of social intercourse it will afford 
 me, which I shall now be able to enjoy. The having 
 undertaken too much remains as a blunder in my life, 
 but it shall be a warning to me for the future.' 
 
 In August of this year Amelia writes in her diary : 
 ' Again the tenderest letters from my Grustavus ; in 
 truth I have much to do to be fully worthy of so much 
 love. What troubles me is, that I know I always seem 
 much better in my letters to those whom I love, than I 
 really am. On paper it is so easy to express any right 
 or admirable feeling, but this by no means guarantees 
 its proper influence on one's life.' 
 
 In autumn she writes to Minna Hosch : 
 ' Nowadays I would rather see a good comedy than 
 a tragedy. The latter affects me too powerfully, and it 
 seems to me almost wrong to spend so much of our 
 best feelings and sympathies on an empty delusion, 
 when real life so constantly demands them from us in 
 their fullest strength. My disposition is certainly rather 
 grave than mirthful, and for this very reason I make 
 it a principle to seek sources of brightness and mirth 
 out of myself, lest my gravity should degenerate into 
 gloom. I would not be untrue to myself: I make no 
 painful efforts to seem gay among the gay; such
 
 GENEROSITY OF NATURE. 65 
 
 counterfeit graces are rarely becoming ; but quietly to 
 enjoy the gaiety of others, I do like, and it imparts 
 fresh cheerfulness to our own heart. And to look out 
 on life cheerfully, deeply and thoroughly to enjoy all 
 the good that it offers, and to meet the evils it may 
 have in store for us with a serene and open brow, is to 
 my mind the highest philosophy. May it be mine ! I 
 strive after it earnestly.' 
 
 Besides writing constantly to her brothers, Amelia 
 still carried on a punctual correspondence with the lady 
 mentioned above as her former governess, and in this 
 relation the constancy and affectionate gratitude of her 
 character were strikingly displayed. In addition to the 
 household duties she had undertaken in a pastor's 
 family, Miss Hosch, at Amelia's suggestion, had opened 
 a little shop for small-wares, with which Amelia pro- 
 vided her from Hamburg, and almost every letter con- 
 tained accounts or lists of purchases, made out with the 
 utmost care and exactitude, while her assistance to her 
 friend was not confined even to such words or acts, but 
 included occasional advances of money. With regard 
 to money, it is impossible to imagine a more generous 
 nature than hers. Herself of few wants, she was always 
 ready to come to the aid of others with the small sums 
 she now received as interest on her little property ; and 
 where she owed gratitude or affection, it seemed to her 
 a mere matter of course, scarcely worth mentioning, that 
 she should repay a debt which indeed her noble heart 
 
 F
 
 66 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 felt to be incapable of real discharge in this inferior 
 sort of exchange. Her purse, as far as she had the power 
 and right to dispose of its contents, was always open to 
 her friends, and this trait showed itself in a hundred 
 little ways. Perhaps it is necessary here to remark, 
 that she never received money for her courses of in- 
 struction either at the present or any after period, and 
 even presents which the grateful parents of her pupils 
 felt impelled to offer her were but reluctantly accepted 
 if they were of any considerable value. It often cost 
 much pains and contrivance, especially in later years, 
 to place within her reach objects which were deemed 
 really essential to her comfort, and if she herself did 
 not share this opinion she would make no use of 
 them. This was no false pride in her : things which 
 she really needed, and which came to her from wealthy 
 friends who felt that they owed her a deep debt of grati- 
 tude, she did not decline, but accepted, as she gave, with 
 generous frankness. Her true delight, however, was 
 in the gifts she received for others, especially for her 
 poor people, and this form of showing gratitude to her- 
 self was always the direct road to her heart. 
 
 Her brother in England had pressingly invited her 
 to spend some weeks with him there, and she replies 
 in January 1817: 
 
 ' What a pleasant picture I often make to myself of 
 the journey, of our meeting, of the life in your home 
 circle ! But then, again, the thought of all I must lose
 
 ON LEAVING HOME. 67 
 
 here casts a shadow over it. My kind aunt would 
 readily give her permission indeed she has implied as 
 much already; but I know that she would miss me 
 very much. And then will you scold me ? then, I 
 must own that the thought of giving up my little 
 school for so long costs me a good deal. Not that I 
 think my post so very important in itself, but must I 
 not think it important to me, since it is that which 
 Grod has entrusted to my care? He will demand an 
 account, and dare I, quite voluntarily and unhesitat- 
 ingly, leave it for so long a time ? Ought we not to 
 devote our powers with untiring zeal to the work (rod 
 has laid upon us, be it small or great? Where we 
 cannot certainly see (rod's finger in the summons that 
 beckons us away, I think it is always safest to remain 
 in the spot that has once for all been assigned to us. 
 And so I think it will be best for me, at any rate for the 
 present, to remain where I am. A year or two hence 
 the chief part of my difficulties will probably be re- 
 moved. My present course of classes will then be 
 concluded, and if God blesses my endeavours, some 
 of my pupils will be able by that time to take turns 
 in supplying my place with my dear aunt. It does, 
 indeed, seem a bold thing to reckon in one's plans on a 
 future of some years ; but, after all, are we any more 
 certain of to-morrow itself? It often seems to me a 
 very beautiful and enviable fate to be called away from 
 earth in the full strength of youth and the fresh bloom 
 
 F 2
 
 68 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 of life. This is no presentiment of death, no satiety 
 of life, in my case ; but who has not moments of long- 
 ing after a better and more abiding world? But to 
 return : in spite of all I have said, I would not give an 
 absolute negative to your question. If a particularly 
 good opportunity of making the journey were to offer 
 itself, with the chance of returning here in a month, I 
 will not answer for anything ! ' 
 
 Her brother in Leipsic, the young student of Divinity, 
 had just preached his first sermon from the pulpit of a 
 neighbouring village, and now sent her a copy of it. 
 She writes to her brother about it : 
 
 'What a beautiful gift have you sent me, dearest 
 Gustavus, in this copy of your sermon, and what plea- 
 sure it has given me ! I was especially pleased by 
 your choice of a subject that you should have taken 
 Christian humility for your first theme. Yes, my 
 brother, let this be both to you and me our chosen 
 virtue above all others. We will never cease to strive 
 after it ; and this very humility will most clearly testify 
 that we have risen above what is earthly and low, and are 
 allied to the divine. But how I fear that I am yet far 
 from this Christian heavenly-mindedness ! No ; I am 
 not humble at heart, as I ought to be ; there is great 
 tendency to pride in me. But your sermon has done 
 me much good, and I will wrestle for the prize that it 
 holds up before me.' 
 
 In her diary she says, on the same subject :
 
 HER BROTHER'S FIRST SERMON. 69 
 
 ' His style is full of life and warmth, and is, at the 
 same time, more simple than I had expected. If only 
 if only he may not be inclining to mysticism ! 
 True, are not the mystics capable of the loftiest enthu- 
 siasm for all that is good and noble ? Are they not 
 happy, and full of assured hope ? Yet I cannot feel 
 myself at home in their mode of thought ; and I think, 
 too, that mysticism may easily become a snare to moral 
 virtue. But Grod will guide my Grustavus.' 
 
 Shortly afterwards she writes to Minna Hosch, who 
 had misunderstood a passage in her letter, and referred 
 it to a possible betrothal : 
 
 * Do not let it grieve you if your hopes have deceived 
 you. Am I not very happy in my present position ? 
 Why should we be impatient for a change ? Should I 
 meet with the ordinary destiny of my sex, then I shall 
 doubtless thank Grod for it, and know how to prize the 
 joys which that path of life offers. But I am firmly 
 convinced that the All- wise Director of our course has 
 other ways, besides this, by which He can guide us to 
 the true destination of humanity usefulness to others, 
 and the developement of our own character, combined 
 with the happiness which springs from these sources. 
 My faith in the wise leadings of this Providence grows 
 stronger every day ; shall I not, then, cheerfully leave 
 myself to them ? I have often thought over this point, 
 quietly and alone ; and the result of my meditations is 
 the hope that even a single life, should Gfod call me to
 
 70 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 it, will not be a joyless one to me. In that case, I 
 have a plan ready in my head, from which I promise 
 myself many hours of purest happiness. Do you not 
 think it would be well if eveiy young girl were at times 
 to occupy herself with such reflections? To me, at 
 least, it is grievous to see a girl incapable of imagining 
 any other object in life than to marry as early as 
 possible ; in attaining which, prudence in her choice 
 is often so utterly forgotten, that her supposed happi- 
 ness is soon transformed into bitter sorrow.' 
 
 Here, perhaps, will be the proper place to remark 
 that Miss Sieveking, according to her own confession in 
 later years, had experienced a silent inclination of the 
 heart ; indeed, on two occasions, had cherished in secret 
 those wishes and dreams which probably no young girl's 
 life is wholly without. In both cases the object was 
 worthy of her regard, and the feeling never assumed in 
 her the stormy character of passion, and thus could 
 never become seriously dangerous to her happiness and 
 peace of mind. She was too much on her guard, and 
 held too tight a rein over herself, ever to lose her 
 mental balance, or to give way long to hurtful delu- 
 sions. At a later period she declined an offer of 
 marriage from a worthy man, because he did not pos- 
 sess that superiority which was, in her eyes, the neces- 
 sary condition of a happy marriage, (rod had reserved 
 her for another career. 
 
 Amelia feared that her brother Gustavus might with-
 
 ON MIXING IN SOCIETY. 71 
 
 draw himself too much from general society to live only 
 for his beloved studies ; and hence she writes to him in 
 February 1817: 
 
 * Is not the knowledge of man one of the first con- 
 ditions of usefulness, especially in your vocation, which 
 is devoted to the exercise of influence over the human 
 heart ? Doubtless this great art and science may never 
 be entirely mastered ; but least of all can it be acquired 
 in the study, nor even in familiar intercourse with a 
 few in whom human nature shows itself precisely in 
 the form that you most love. Is not such limited in- 
 tercourse, when long continued, likely to render the 
 young man, who is forced at last to enter a wider 
 sphere, exacting and self-willed in his demands on 
 society ? Will he not take the peculiarities of his own 
 small circle of intimates as the standard by which 
 every other is to be estimated, and thus necessarily 
 undervalue much that is really excellent in opposite 
 characters or modes of life ? Something good and beau- 
 tiful exists, I think, everywhere ; and he who knows how 
 to look for it who enters society with open mind, fear- 
 ing God and loving man, will find it, even in those 
 smoking, beer-drinking students' parties, even in those 
 fashionable circles whence all nature and heart seem 
 utterly banished. (Of course, I know that you could 
 never feel satisfied in such assemblies ; but here I have 
 named the two extremes how much lies between them!) 
 Truly this "knowledge of the world " is a precious thing
 
 72 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 when it bears its proper fruits, which I believe to be 
 these readiness to discern whatever is good in men, 
 in whatever form it may show itself; a good-humoured 
 smile for their follies ; a compassionate sorrow for their 
 errors, that seeks to embody itself in active help. 
 There is a sort of mock wisdom, also, calling itself the 
 true " knowledge of the world," that sees or supposes evil 
 everywhere ; but this, again, implies a very perverted, 
 one-sided judgment, which I have certainly no reason to 
 fear from your generous heart. But that other jewel 
 you must not carelessly overlook, and you will gain it 
 only by mixing with various classes of men.' 
 
 In the same letter she gives an account of a ball at 
 which she had been present, and adds : 
 
 * That I played no grand role on the occasion you 
 will conceive, but what does it signify ? If one does 
 not go with expectations unduly raised, one can be 
 very well satisfied with a subordinate part, and can find 
 a great deal of pleasure in it, too.' 
 
 In April she writes in her diary : 
 
 'I am dissatisfied with myself uncertain whether I 
 do not too much excite a spirit of emulation in my 
 children. This is a great snare to a teacher, for in 
 many cases it seems to afford such a ready means of 
 attaining our end. But that end ought to be, not only 
 to instruct the outward man, but, far more, to form 
 the whole inner being. May Grod direct me in the 
 right way ! '
 
 ON SHAKESPEARE. 73 
 
 Again, on Easter Tuesday : 
 
 ' Fixed, I might almost say pressing, and regular 
 occupations are a necessity to me. I have felt this 
 anew during these holidays, when my ordinary employ- 
 ment with my children was suspended, and no par- 
 ticular social engagements have come to fill up the 
 gap. There was indeed plenty that I might do ; but 
 when my choice is so absolutely free, I find it difficult 
 to decide what to begin with ; moreover, any work loses 
 half its charm for me when it is not necessary. Needle- 
 work especially I always find most interesting when I 
 have, so to speak, to steal time for it. But it ought not 
 to be so ; for a time may come when no such regular 
 occupation would be open to me. Must I then sink 
 into inactivity ? ' 
 
 About this time she writes to her sister-in-law, in 
 England : 
 
 'My aunt and I are still busy with Shakespeare's 
 historical dramas, and continue to find much enjoyment 
 from them. But may I venture, very, very softly, to 
 whisper to you one word of censure on this great and 
 much-lauded man? One great thing I miss in his 
 writings a thoroughly noble type of humanity (a 
 Christian type, perhaps, I ought rather to say) in his 
 characters. Does it not at last become wearisome to 
 watch this endless conflict of wild rough natures, that 
 vie with each other in cunning and cruelty? How 
 rarely do any beams of Christian virtue shine out?
 
 74 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 Can this picture of life be faithfully drawn from nature ? 
 Oh, no ! I cannot and will not believe it : in far fairer 
 colours does humanity present itself to my mind, and 
 no Shakespeare shall rob me of this sacred image. I 
 know not why it is, and I am almost ashamed to say so, 
 yet it is the fact, that reading scarcely ever affords me 
 unmixed pleasure. Perhaps I have been satiated with 
 it, or am too fastidious. I will read but little in future, 
 so far as it depends on myself.' 
 
 Her brother and sister in England continued to wish 
 her to visit them, but she still hesitated, scrupling to 
 leave her aunt and her pupils. * The more I am left 
 free to choose, the more careful I feel I ought to be,' 
 she writes ; ' I often wish for less freedom rather than 
 more.' But an external impulse to this journey was 
 soon to be given. We insert here one more extract 
 from her correspondence with her brother Gustavus. 
 It is from the last letter but one that she ever wrote 
 to him : 
 
 'I promised to send you a more detailed opinion on 
 your sermon, but soon repented my promise when I 
 was struck with the difficulties of carrying it out. So 
 you must be content with my touching on one topic 
 only, in which I perceive that my faith differs some- 
 what from yours. At first, I own, I shrank from volun- 
 tarily pointing out this difference, through a fear that 
 it would lessen your good opinion of me. But then I 
 reflected that so close and dear a relation as that be-
 
 ON THE ATONEMENT. 75 
 
 tvveen us two must be founded, if it is to be stable and 
 permanent, on perfect truth and the unrestrained in- 
 terchange of thought. And so here, too, I will explain 
 myself frankly and openly. I must confess to you 
 oh, do not love me less for it ! that I have never 
 been able to accept the doctrine of the Atonement of 
 Christ in the form given to it by the Lutheran ex- 
 positors, and in which you also hold it (unless I am 
 much mistaken). I have been unable to reconcile it 
 with those conceptions of the Highest through which I 
 can otherwise most truly reverence Him. Often, when 
 I have observed the firm faith of so many excellent 
 persons on this point, I have become uneasy at my own 
 unbelief; but I have comforted myself with the know- 
 ledge that I could not help its springing up within me, 
 while I was honestly striving after that truth which 
 must honour God. And thus I can joyfully trust that 
 if I err, my Grod will not impute to me as sin this in- 
 voluntary error, but will bless me with ever- increasing 
 light. Eeligion does, indeed, shape itself differently 
 in every human heart, though outwardly many may be 
 united in one bond. And ought it not to be so ? 
 Enough, methinks, if each heart can truly make the 
 heavenly essence its own if it can bring forth from 
 its own depths, under a fostering influence from on 
 high, something which is not a mere reflection of other 
 
 O * O 
 
 men's minds. Enough ? Nay, there is something more 
 needed ere we can say enough. That this heavenly
 
 76 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 essence should be the living, never-failing source of 
 action in life, of comfort in sorrow, of hope for the 
 future. And my faith I may say it gladly and 
 boldly does not lack this blessed and life-giving 
 power; it is not dead in me, though I feel and strive 
 that it may attain a higher life. Perhaps for me, too, 
 a time may come when I may lay hold of the meaning 
 of that mysterious doctrine; perhaps but perhaps it 
 may not. Tell me, will you then be able to love me still 
 as dearly as now ? The conviction of the reason and 
 heart is to me a necessity. Not that I would confine 
 everything within the narrow limits of our human 
 understanding. No, thank God ! I am not so cold that 
 I could not rise to a heartfelt faith in something above 
 our human reason ; it is only what is contrary to it 
 that I know not how to embrace.'
 
 SECOND PAET. 
 
 CONTINUED DEVELOPEMENT, AND PREPARATION 
 FOR AFTER WORK. 
 
 (18171831.) 
 
 Stern Lawgiver ! yet thou dost wear 
 
 The Godhead's most benignant grace, 
 
 Nor know we anything so fair 
 
 As is the smile upon thy face : 
 
 Flowers laugh before thee on their beds, 
 
 And fragrance in thy footing treads ; 
 
 Thou dost preserve the stars from wrong ; 
 
 And the most ancient heavens through thee are fresh and strong. 
 
 To humbler functions, awful Power ! 
 
 I call thee : I myself commend 
 
 Unto thy guidance from this hour ; 
 
 O let my weakness have an end ! 
 
 Give unto me, made lowly wise, 
 
 The spirit of self-sacrifice ; 
 
 The confidence of reason give ; 
 
 And in the light of Truth thy Bondman let me live ! 
 
 WOKDSWOKTH'S Ode to Duty. 
 
 ( I may compass earth and heaven, the sea and the dry land, 
 and nowhere shall I find Thee, save in the Cross. There 
 Thou restest, there Thou feedest Thy flock and makest them 
 to rest at noon. In that Cross art Thou found, of whomsoever 
 findeth Thee.' 
 
 ST. BEKNAKD.
 
 79 
 
 CHAPTEK VI. 
 
 1817. 
 
 DEATH OF HER BROTHER GUSTAVUS JOURNEY TO LONDON 
 
 RETURNS MADAME BRUNNEMANN TAKES A LITTLE GIRL 
 
 INTO HER HOUSE. 
 
 AT Easter 1817, Gustavus left Leipsic for Berlin, to 
 continue his studies ; he wrote with pleasant ex- 
 citement of the new and varied life which met him there, 
 and his sister followed with lively sympathy every step of 
 this promising and highly-gifted young man. Formerly 
 delicate, the campaign and an excursion on foot which 
 he made with some friends to Halle seemed to have 
 greatly strengthened him, and he reached Berlin in 
 perfect health. There he was most suddenly attacked 
 with serious illness, which increased with alarming 
 rapidity, and inflammation coming on, terminated his 
 life in a few days. He was nursed by several of his 
 friends, especially a young student of theology, named 
 Eautenberg, and died, conscious to the last, and full of 
 joyful submission, in the arms of a truly Christian 
 attendant on the sick. When, a few hours before his 
 death, he asked for something to drink, and then
 
 80 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 observed that it tasted bitter to him, this man replied 
 that all on earth would taste bitter to him now, but all 
 would be sweet with his Saviour in that heaven whither 
 he was going; and the dying man smiled his perfect 
 acquiescence. 
 
 The news of his severe illness reached Hamburg, 
 and Amelia wished to hasten to him at once; her 
 boxes were packed, but she was persuaded to await the 
 arrival of another letter, which brought the tidings of 
 his death. 
 
 When we remember how close had been the relation 
 between this early-orphaned brother and sister, how 
 from the first they had been, in the true sense of the 
 word, everytiwng to each other, we may understand 
 how powerful was the effect of this sudden stroke. 
 Amelia herself says at a later period : * I had not felt 
 so deeply the death of my father, still less that of my 
 elder brother. This profound grief became a turning- 
 point for my life.' In her diary all we find is : * There 
 are feelings which are too sacred in my eyes for a 
 diary. Or what need for any memorial of that which 
 is burnt into my heart in indelible characters ? Oh ! 
 but to follow him ! ' 
 
 To Minna Hosch she writes : 
 
 'You will not expect much from me to-day, my 
 beloved Minna ; but I cannot help sending a few words 
 to you, whose true heart has also suffered from this 
 blow. You knew and helped to guide his early years ;
 
 HER BROTHERS DEATH. 81 
 
 you know that all the glorious promise which then 
 showed itself was unfolding in his youthful manhood 
 into the most lovely blossom; and that with all his 
 eager aspiring intellect, he had preserved the child-like 
 purity of his heart. You know all this, and may thus 
 measure the greatness of my loss. But do you know 
 also how entirely I could call him mine how his 
 brotherly love was so overflowing that it seemed as if 
 his whole nature exhausted itself in it ? But no ! his 
 nature was' so rich in heavenly love, that he could 
 lavish his kindness and affection on all sides, and yet 
 be none the poorer. Alas ! my noble, my incomparable 
 brother ! But it is in the very excellence of his life, 
 and especially in the blessedness of his last hours, that 
 we must find comfort in our grief for him. On earth he 
 lived as though in heaven, and therefore was he permitted 
 so early to enter that higher kingdom of his Father, 
 toward which he here often looked with ardent longing. 
 His departure has left a blank in my earthly life that can 
 never be filled up, but my sorrow for him shall make 
 me holier. His angel form shall shine before me in 
 ever brighter and sweeter radiance ; the thought of his 
 approving smile shall kindle my zeal towards all that is 
 fair and good.' 
 
 On the 25th of May she writes again to the same : 
 
 * It costs me an effort now to sit down to write, now that 
 
 the thought strikes so heavily on my heart that I shall 
 
 never again write to him, that my eyes may never 
 
 a
 
 82 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKING. 
 
 again rest on his dear face. Oh ! if but the inward eye 
 might more clearly behold his spiritual form ! May it 
 be ever before me to raise me from earth ! Ah ! how I 
 long after his perfection ! but I often despair of reaching 
 it in the gloomy course of this earthly life. Upwards, 
 oh upwards ! where all is so infinitely fairer and better ! 
 Yet do not fear that this longing will consume my 
 health ; I feel myself far, far from being pure enough 
 to enter yet the Communion of Saints in glory. I 
 feel the calling in myself to live and do some work for 
 the world ere I leave it. How much is there for me to 
 do ! and should I already take my rest ? Nay, earth 
 may yet have pleasures in store for me. My wealth of 
 happiness is gone my most precious treasure is taken 
 from me is laid up in heaven. Poor and needy am I 
 now, but God's mercy hath still left me much. All that 
 love and friendship could do to supply in some measure 
 my loss, has been done in such abundance, that I shall 
 never be able to repay these kind people for their sym- 
 pathy. Yes, this is a blessing which he has bequeathed to 
 me, that over his grave all those who loved him in life 
 
 have been more closely than ever united with me 
 
 From London I have received letters which, though they 
 reawakened my grief, were yet inexpressibly soothing. 
 They contain the most pressing invitation to go thither : 
 my friends here had already spoken of it, and now, no 
 doubt, it will be accomplished.' 
 
 In June this long projected journey, now more de-
 
 VISIT TO LONDON. 83 
 
 sirable than ever, was brought to pass. Amelia saw 
 once more her beloved, now her only, brother, her 
 sister-in-law, and her little new-born nephew, and 
 found refreshment for her own heart in the sight of 
 their domestic happiness. Sorrow and joy were still 
 battling within her, but she could open her mind to all 
 the new impressions of the great capital, and thankfully 
 enjoy the affection of her relatives. In company with 
 some German friends she saw the sights of London, 
 and made many excursions in its neighbourhood ; she 
 had the opportunity of practising a foreign language, 
 which to her, with her eager delight in practical ac- 
 quirements, was always a source of pleasure ; and she 
 found time and leisure for quiet conversations with her 
 busy brother, and for happy interchange of thought 
 with her sister-in-law, who was a youthful friend of her 
 own. This period was peculiarly important for her 
 mental life, as it was here that she began to read 
 Thomas a Kempis, whose works found the soil in her 
 heart well prepared by the recent experience of deep 
 suffering. She remained nine weeks with her family, 
 and then hastened back to the arms of her adopted 
 mother, alarmed by the news that the daughter of the 
 latter, who had long been ailing, was now seriously ill. 
 
 She writes soon after her arrival in London to her 
 aunt : 
 
 ( I lay on some ropes near the helm, and thought of 
 my dear ones at a distance, and enjoyed the grandeur of 
 
 G 2
 
 84 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 the scene around me, so new to me. In the afternoon, 
 the clouds cleared off and the sun shone brilliantly 
 down. The contrast of the restless sea below, with the 
 clear still heaven above, had something in it that 
 touched me. These wild tossing waters, I thought, 
 are the dark and stormy life of earth ; the clear ether 
 that vaults itself so gloriously above our heads is that 
 higher and most blessed rest into which my Gfustavus 
 has entered ; the beaming sun is the eye of Divine Love 
 that looks with blessing on both worlds.' 
 She writes in a letter to Minna Hosch : 
 ' Half my stay here is already flown, and the last few 
 weeks have offered me many pleasures. Sometimes, 
 indeed, I was angry with myself, that so soon after such 
 a loss I could enjoy so much nay, feel almost merry at 
 times. But then I think that these instinctive movements 
 of innocent pleasure cannot be displeasing to Him who 
 made His creatures for happiness, nor to my dear saint 
 who loved so much to see his sister cheerful. Hours of 
 sad memory and earnest longing will indeed never be 
 absent from my future life. But if we reflect, have 
 we any ground for gloomy and incessant mourning, for 
 self-willed clinging to a gnawing grief? Yes, if we 
 were not Christians! But since this privilege has been 
 conferred upon us, since all things are brightened for us 
 by the heavenly light of religion, such an end as that of 
 my Gfustavus stands before us in a light so far above 
 aught of earth, that wonder and adoration must mingle 
 with all our grief.'
 
 GRIEF FOR HER LOSS. 85 
 
 On the 25th of July, her birthday, her grief breaks out 
 more violently, and finds utterance to her aunt. She 
 writes 
 
 ' Deeply agitated by very mixed emotions, my heart 
 longs to open itself entirely to you, my dearest aunt, if 
 it could but find words to give vent to its feelings ! 
 Another period of my life is gone, and deep sorrow 
 overwhelms me ; my tearful eye looks back on the past 
 as through a veil of gloom. Ah ! my great, my infinite 
 loss ! A year ago so rich, now so fearfully bereft ! 
 Once his cordial good wishes used to bring me rich 
 blessing; now I shall never, never hear them again. 
 True, death has not wholly separated us. I doubt not 
 he loves me and prays for me still, and if I become pious 
 as he was, his prayers will be fulfilled, my last end will be 
 like his, and will reunite me to him. But earth has no 
 Grustavus more for me how the thought crushes my 
 heart ! I ought not to lament and grieve you thus, 
 but it masters me ; I know that your ear is always open 
 to my griefs, and it does me good to weep out all my 
 pain for once. But I will conquer myself; I will turn 
 away from that which so wounds my heart ; I will rise 
 to thankfulness toward Grod for His wonderful guidance 
 through my past life. Adorable are ever His leadings ; 
 it is only that we do not yet understand them. 
 
 All things at last shall stand revealed in light : 
 Then shall God's darkness too be praised aright 
 
 are lines from a poem by my Grustavus which has often 
 strengthened me during this season. But what leading
 
 86 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 of Providence, dearest aunt, ought I to praise more 
 thankfully than that which has led me to you, to your 
 motherly love that sheds so soft a charm over my life, 
 that first kindled my naturally cold heart into true 
 affection ? ' 
 
 During Amelia's absence a friend had partially un- 
 dertaken the instruction of her school-children, and 
 the following passage, which occurs in a letter to her 
 aunt, probably refers to some expression of censure from 
 this lady : 
 
 * However rapidly my time has passed here, however 
 many pleasant enjoyments it has brought, and regretful 
 resemblances it may leave, I yet feel, and have in nowise 
 concealed it from my brother and sister, that I could not 
 be quite happy here for any length of time without some 
 definite sphere of action appropriate to my peculiar 
 taste. The letter of my excellent Louisa allows me to 
 divine rather than tells me that she finds several things 
 to blame in my treatment of the children. It is hard 
 to give up preconceived and cherished notions, but if it 
 must be so I can do it. Louisa shall find that her 
 hints and instructions meet with a candid reception. 
 One thing I know and I do not believe anybody can see 
 it more clearly than I that all I do is a mere fragment 
 of what I intend, far, far below the fair ideal in my 
 mind. But when this knowledge would depress me, 
 then the love of my work urges me forwards, and I find 
 strength in my conviction that faithful zeal, with Grod's 
 help, must accomplish some good.'
 
 TRUTHFULNESS. 87 
 
 Among the impressions of this residence under her 
 brother's roof we may name a little trait, related after- 
 wards by Amelia herself, which is too characteristic to 
 be omitted. She once fell asleep in church, and when 
 her brother charged her with it, denied it out of shame : 
 but her consciousness of the untruth left her no peace 
 until she came to confession, and acknowledged the 
 fact. And so it always was with her in small things 
 as in great with so-called white lies, or even evasive 
 answers ; she was always obliged to set matters straight 
 afterwards, to make her confession and to do homage 
 to the full and entire truth. 
 
 On her return to Othmarschen, her aunt's country- 
 house, she unreservedly pours out her feelings towards 
 the kindred she had just left. In her first letter she 
 writes : 
 
 * Favourable winds, my dear brother and sister, have 
 borne me from you more rapidly than I expected, and 
 have carried me from the arms of those I love in England 
 into the arms of affection awaiting me here. I arrived 
 safe and well so soon as last Thursday, August 28th, and 
 could have sent you word of it the very next day, but I 
 thought it as well to wait till I had had time to collect 
 myself a little and could write quietly and rationally. 
 It is a great pity, but when I go over my recollections of 
 the last few weeks, one of the least pleasant is that of 
 the time we spent at Gravesend ; it was not only the 
 natural quiet sadness of parting which filled my soul 
 hen I was altogether depressed. This did not escape
 
 88 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 you, but I can hardly even now explain the reason. 
 One thing I felt clearly I thought how much in me 
 during the nine weeks we have spent together must 
 have been disagreeable to you, how poorly I had thanked 
 you for all the affection and kindness you had shown 
 me, and how impossible it was for me now to make up 
 for my omissions. The thought it is over now what- 
 ever I have done wrong I cannot repair filled me 
 with a sort of apprehension, and added to the sullen 
 melancholy already weighing on me a mood in which 
 I certainly could give you no pleasure. So it is with our 
 human cares : as soon as they assume the character of 
 anxiety, they become, not merely useless, but actually 
 hurtful ; I wish I could get rid of them for once and 
 for ever ! That clouded mood did not last long : my 
 usual calmness soon returned, and the past again looked 
 very bright. However much you may have observed 
 in me that you would like to see otherwise, one thing 
 at least you must have seen that I love you with all 
 my heart; and love, you know, covers a multitude of 
 faults.' 
 
 Soon afterwards she writes about the friend of her 
 departed brother already mentioned, M. Eauten- 
 berg : 
 
 ' Eautenberg is certainly a most excellent young man, 
 and has shown great cordiality of feeling towards all the 
 nearer friends of our dear lost one. The death of Grus- 
 tavus has evidently been a crisis in his life, and has in-
 
 CLOTILDA'S EDUCATION. 89 
 
 spired him with new ardour in his sacred calling. And 
 thus it ought to be. What I say to his most intimate 
 friends is, that what he promised to the world and 
 could- not fulfil, they must now carry out, that so his 
 spirit may not have passed wholly away from among us. 
 Let a noble and sacred covenant be thus made over his 
 grave. I would fain hold out my hand to all who 
 were near to his heart, and bid them join with me in 
 this bond ! Upwards ! upwards ! ' 
 
 About this time Amelia's adopted mother took into 
 her house a little girl, the elder sister of her daughter's 
 adopted child. The little one was to sleep in Amelia's 
 room, and was, to a great extent, her charge. She writes 
 to Minna Hosch : 
 
 ( It is a serious thing to find one's self placed in a 
 new position, in which one may exercise perhaps de- 
 cisive influence for good or evil over a fellow-creature. 
 Clotilda's education certainly is not exclusively com- 
 mitted to my hands, but a very important portion of it 
 is. I feel beforehand the responsibility of that account 
 which I shall one day have to give on her behalf, but 
 this feeling shall not take away my courage. No ; trust- 
 ing in God's help, I will gladly and hopefully begin my 
 delightful work. Ah ! how much cause have I to thank 
 my kind Father in heaven that He has led me to find 
 precisely such an occupation as my heart desires ! 
 When I consider what is the thing most needed to 
 enable us to educate others well, it seems to me to be
 
 90 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 that we should constantly educate ourselves. The 
 neglect of this great point is often, I think, the reason 
 why some parents who study many really excellent 
 works on education, yet turn out their children such 
 perverted beings; while others, who perhaps never 
 dreamt that there is such a thing as an art of educa- 
 tion at all, live to have great satisfaction from their 
 sons and daughters. But these latter must have been 
 trained by religion, carefully to watch over themselves 
 and avoid every shadow of evil ; for most true it is 
 that example is stronger than precept.' 
 
 She writes again soon afterwards : 
 
 ' A tendency to indolence, untidiness, and general 
 carelessness is probably somewhat more deeply rooted 
 in Clotilda than I fancied at first ; but these, after all, 
 are not faults of the heart, and daily serious admonition 
 to diligence and order will doubtless overcome these bad 
 habits. The worst of such faults is, that they give 
 occasion for almost hourly fault-finding. I am so very 
 much against this practice; reproofs often repeated lose 
 all their effect, and yet it cannot be right to allow in- 
 stances of carelessness to pass by quite unnoticed. 
 Sometimes Clotilda has irritated me to real impatience ; 
 but I mean to keep a strict watch over myself on this 
 point, for it has always seemed to me that nothing 
 so lowers our influence over children and the respect 
 they have for us, as temper, and that calmness and a 
 kindliness which shines through her most serious re-
 
 USEFULNESS TO OTHERS. 91 
 
 proofs, are those qualities which a teacher must most 
 strive to attain.' 
 
 In the same letter she says : 
 
 * Thank Grod, that the true dignity of man does not 
 consist in his power of setting other people to work for 
 him, but in something quite opposite. Truly, he who 
 can best minister to others is the most honourable. 
 But even in this vocation of serving others, there is a 
 limit set which we may not overpass. An entire sacrifice 
 of our freedom and of our own enjoyment can very 
 rarely indeed, I think, be our duty. Often, by resisting 
 individual unreasonable or capricious demands upon our 
 time, we find ourselves enabled in some other way to 
 render far more essential services to those around us.'
 
 92 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 1817-1818. 
 
 TERRIBLE LOSS OF LIFE FROM FIRE : ITS EFFECTS OX 
 
 AMELIA HER MENTAL PROGRESS FAREWELL TO EARLY 
 
 HOPES AND DREAMS INWARD CONFLICTS. 
 
 ABOUT this time a terrible occurrence produced a 
 deep and peculiar impression on Amelia. The 
 next house to the one where she lived in the city was 
 burnt down, and after a night of the most restless 
 anxiety, she heard that five persons, the wife and three 
 children of the proprietor, with a servant-maid, had 
 perished in the flames. She writes to England ' How 
 much this mournful news has agitated us all, you may 
 well conceive. For the first few days it seemed to have 
 taken away all my courage and pleasure in life. I 
 think and think over all that might have been done to 
 rescue these poor creatures, and what a heavenly joy 
 it would have been to have borne even the smallest part 
 in doing it; and when I have pictured it all out to 
 myself, these awful words, " Too late ! too late ! " toll in 
 my ears, and I gaze with heavy heart on that happiness, 
 the opportunity for which is now lost to me for ever.
 
 LOSS OF LIFE FROM FIRE ITS EFFECTS ON AMELIA. 93 
 
 Ah, Edward ! if my soul had possessed the true energy 
 of faith and love, who knows what honour God might 
 not have granted me ! but I will be humble. I had 
 often dreamed that one day I should surely do some 
 great thing; but now I have been made conscious of 
 my weakness, and since I want strength to rise to the 
 extraordinary, I will turn with redoubled diligence to 
 the little, commonplace, daily-returning duties of my 
 life, and find my comfort there.' 
 
 Amelia recognised, as we see, the discipline and 
 rebuke of the Lord: the thought of distinguishing 
 herself, the impulse to do some great deed, to achieve 
 some extraordinary work, had ever been the heart and 
 core of the unspoken dreams and wishes of her child- 
 hood and youth ; and these dreams which had always 
 revolved round the centre of self, had sometimes made 
 her inattentive to the little unobtrusive duties and 
 demands of quiet daily life : she, like many others, over- 
 looked the small things to dream of the great. This 
 error, a rock on which many noble and gifted hearts 
 have foundered, was now seen by Amelia in its true 
 light, and henceforth bravely combated. Her soul was 
 not made for an abiding slavery in the chains of Self; 
 she yielded to the drawings of Providence, and so broke 
 through these fetters into the free kingdom of grace and 
 love. The original impulse, ennobled and enlightened, 
 was to render her hereafter an efficient instrument of 
 the compassionate love of God. 
 
 How deeply this event impressed her from this point
 
 94 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 of view is shown also by the following extract from her 
 diary : 
 
 4 Never have I felt so vividly as now, that only with 
 God's help can any deed be done. I felt a powerful 
 impulse urging me on to venture some great thing to 
 save those lives, but I felt deeply in my heart at the 
 same time that it was not pure love of God and man 
 that impelled me, but alas ! still more the longing to 
 seem great in the eyes of the world. This consciousness 
 made me mistrust myself, and I thought I had no right 
 to follow the inward voice. Had the impulse which 
 inspired me been purely from above, I should have 
 obeyed its call without stopping to think; and who 
 knows whether God might not have granted me suc- 
 cess? But I need so much discipline to make me 
 humble, and therefore this has come on me.' 
 
 A play of Kotzebue's that she saw about this time 
 reminds her again of her favourite day-dreams ; and she 
 says in her diary : 
 
 6 The piece attracted me by virtue of a part which, 
 in the romances that used to wander up and down in 
 my brain, was always one that I drew with peculiar pre- 
 dilection the part of a noble character misunderstood. 
 And now, when the moment came where his nobleness 
 was revealed, and the general contempt was transformed 
 into admiration ah ! then I saw before me, with a 
 vividness which for the moment carried me away, what 
 I had often dreamt of as the highest happiness ! But
 
 MENTAL PROGRESS. 95 
 
 such a moment will certainly never fall to my lot in life, 
 for it would give too much nourishment to my most 
 dangerous enemy, pride. Yet one thing is still left me 
 and cannot be taken away to do much, very much 
 good in secret, that it may be seen on that Great Day 
 that my real inward being was at any rate something 
 better than my outward seeming.' 
 
 From this time, as we follow in Miss Sieveking's letters 
 and diaries the farther developement of her inner life 
 up to the period at which her activity assumed more 
 decidedly a public character, we remark two things : on 
 the one side, a growing knowledge of herself, and a 
 stricter habit of self-examination, which led to a deepened 
 consciousness of her own insufficiency and sinfulness ; 
 and on the other, an ever clearer recognition and firmer 
 grasp of the redeeming love of God in Christ. She 
 was not to reach the goal by means of any sudden 
 illumination, but, in accordance with her nature, by a 
 slow course of preparation. With persons who are so 
 completely, as we say, cast in one mould as Amelia, the 
 individual character is not so much transformed, as raised 
 and purified, by the influence of Divine grace. To the 
 very last we shall find in her the same traits constantly 
 recurring which have met us in her youthful years ; 
 but those who knew her saw and felt that her whole 
 being was rooted henceforward in God, and His Spirit 
 had become in her a well of water, springing up unto 
 everlasting life.
 
 96 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 The following passages from her diary refer to the 
 renunciation of earlier hopes and wishes, to which we 
 have above alluded. It says, on the 22nd of March, 
 1818: 
 
 * Oh, in what a fair and sunny light shines out that 
 evening in my memory! My heart swelled with a 
 delightful hope, that shed once more an unspeakable 
 charm over all this earthly life. But could anything 
 of earth ever give full satisfaction to the immortal 
 spirit ? Father ! if in the counsels of Thy love I am 
 to be trained for the heavenly life through the sur- 
 render of what I hold dearest here Father, Thy will 
 be done ! Let me only become Thy pious child, 
 free and strong in spirit, and filled with Thy love it 
 is for this I long ; towards this, lead me ! ' 
 
 And again, on the loth of November : 
 
 * My heart has been forced to tear itself away from a 
 sweet hope. . . . This sacrifice has cost me much. . . . 
 there have been hours when life has seemed to me so 
 utterly empty and dreary. But I have taken heart 
 again. What is denied me by the poverty of my out- 
 ward life, shall be made up to me by the fullness and 
 completeness of the life within. Heavenly Father! 
 guide me as it pleaseth Thee to those heights where 
 the glorified spirit of my Ghistavus already dwells.' 
 
 In November 1817, we find one more allusion in her 
 diary to one of her small difficulties in society that was 
 mentioned above :
 
 TRICENTENARY FESTIVAL. 97 
 
 'My awkwardness and want of lightness in dancing 
 vex me. I had always thought I should conquer these 
 difficulties in time ; but now I see only too well that 
 it will not do dancing will never be my forte. It is 
 a pity, for I think it so pretty ; and I feel like such an 
 old grandmother, not to be able to join in it as well as 
 others. But even in this I can see (rod's fatherly hand 
 over me for my good. It is doubtless very good for 
 me to find myself often left in the background, I need 
 so much the discipline of humility.' 
 
 About the same time she writes : 
 
 'On the 31st of October, we celebrated, with very 
 general participation of the nation, the tricentenary 
 of the Keformation. Ten or twenty years ago the 
 anniversary would hardly have been so kept. Thank 
 God, another spirit is now everywhere astir a spirit 
 of faith and pious zeal. Far and near there is life and 
 movement in men's minds. I believe the period of a 
 crisis for good is at hand ; I look forward to its issue 
 with desire. A golden age I certainly do not expect; 
 where the spirit of the age brings good, it also strews 
 unmarked the seeds of ill. The incompleteness of our 
 present state is in itself a condition, as I think, of its 
 excellence ; and thus I can never believe in an unin- 
 terrupted advance of the whole human race; but in 
 times of general upheaving the powers of individuals 
 are awakened to a fairer activity, and ripen visibly for 
 eternity/ 
 
 H
 
 98 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 In November she says : 
 
 'A glorious book, this "Imitation of Christ," by 
 Thomas a Kempis, so soon as one knows how to seize 
 the true spirit of it. Humbling and elevating, com- 
 forting and sanctifying such has it proved itself to 
 me, and shall do yet further.' 
 
 Then, on the 13th December, after the little Clotilda, 
 now twelve years old, had come to reside with her aunt, 
 she writes : 
 
 * By degrees I shall learn, no doubt, so to combine the 
 new obligations that I have undertaken with my old ones, . 
 as to be able fully to discharge both. As yet I feel 
 that this is not the case. Can it be that I have again 
 overstepped too far the boundary line of a right and 
 judicious activity ? Oh, that there were some one who 
 could draw this line for me precisely! But my 
 heavenly Teacher will train me for self-government, 
 and willingly should I submit to all that He ordains 
 for my education. If I have erred, it has been my 
 Father ! Thou knowest it more in judgment than in 
 heart or intention ; and in this case my error itself 
 must work for my benefit, my improvement. All 
 depends on the faithful use I make of it, on careful 
 watching for the indications of God's will.' 
 
 And on the 14th: 
 
 * According* to our present ecclesiastical arrange- 
 
 * It is the custom of the Lutheran Church to confess to the pastor 
 before receiving the Holy Communion ; but the confession is in most 
 cases a mere matter of form. TB.
 
 EVILS OF SELF-LOVE. 99 
 
 ments, the tie which binds the confessor to his peni- 
 tents is so slight that the choice of one has never 
 appeared to me of any great importance. If it were 
 but otherwise if the confessor could but be a real 
 guide to us in practical life! I have often longed 
 to be guided by some firm manly will, to which I could 
 feel myself in every respect subordinate.' 
 
 Then, early in 1818: 
 
 * Oh, how all that is good and beautiful is destroyed 
 by self-conceit ! and woe, woe to that self-conceit which 
 especially feeds on what is truly best and purest ! Alas ! 
 against this kind of self-love I can never be sufficiently 
 on my guard. Does it not rob all good qualities of 
 their preciousness ? Is it not exactly this which closes 
 the hearts of others against their entrance ? And may 
 it not be the cause why so many people who do not 
 refuse me their respect, still feel themselves at a dis- 
 tance from me ? Oh, Grustavus, Grustavus, could I but 
 learn from thee the sweet art of winning not only the 
 respect of others, but their love and confidence also ! 
 That saying is never out of my mind : " Though I 
 bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I 
 give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it 
 profiteth me nothing." ' 
 
 In February she writes : 
 
 e I do not dread a great sorrow so much as that life 
 should become barren and uninteresting to me. There 
 is in me so much cold reason, there are so few sparks 
 
 H -2
 
 100 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKIXG. 
 
 of the living quickening spirit! It must be possible, 
 however, to fan these to a brighter flame : and, mean- 
 while, clear calm reflection is not without its pleasures. 
 Yes, indeed, if there are certain gloomy moments when 
 life looks to me dead and worthless, it is not without, 
 but deep within, that I shall ever find the true source 
 of this discouragement.' 
 
 In the beginning of 1818, Miss Sieveking once more 
 refers to the impression made on her by the fire, in a 
 letter to Minna Hosch : 
 
 'My grief on account of the fire is now happily 
 overcome ; I had no time to brood over it, and so it 
 was obliged to give way. God has kindly implanted 
 one healing quality in my nature it rarely retains a 
 deeply painful impression for any lengthened time. 
 Either friendly hope steps in at once, or when the 
 grief is such as to exclude hope for this life at least, 
 its gloomy images are yet gradually thrown into the 
 background, or suffused with milder light, by the occu- 
 pations and demands of the present. I must own I do 
 not always like this ; I often wish for a greater keen- 
 ness of feeling, which would be more deeply affected 
 both by joy and sorrow. But no one has made the 
 kernel of his nature for himself, and however great 
 may be the disparity of human capacities, doubtless 
 each may be cultivated so as to attain a certain degree 
 of perfection.' 
 
 Her brother in England had expressed his appre-
 
 ON EDUCATION. 101 
 
 hension that his sister's new task, the care of the little 
 Clotilda, might concentrate her thoughts and powers 
 too much on this one subject of education, and render 
 her one-sided ; and she thus answers him : 
 
 'Dear Edward This new occupation cannot make 
 me one-sided ; I feel vividly that I am so. I have felt it 
 most painfully in the very circle which seems to offer me 
 the highest enjoyment that social intercourse can give, 
 that of my Aunt Sieveking. But I cannot myself see the 
 root of this one-sidedness in the nature of my occupa- 
 tion ; it lies deeper, in a certain slowness and awkward- 
 ness of mind. I remember very well a passage from a 
 beautiful letter of our Grustavus, in which he meets an 
 objection I had made to his calling as a minister. I had 
 been speaking of the lifeless monotony which seemed 
 to me inseparable from many duties connected with 
 this office. " Believe me, dear sister," was his answer, 
 " it is the spirit that giveth life. The man who carries 
 out his vocation, be it what it may, in the spirit of joy 
 and love, will doubtless shed life and variety over what 
 seems to others empty and dead." It shall be my 
 endeavour, dear Edward, to verify these words. And 
 in what occupation could I do so more readily than in 
 the training of children, that in itself offers so much 
 variety, and is constantly opening my eyes to the 
 deficiencies in my own education? And nothing can 
 do me more service in this way than such continual 
 companionship in my own room as I have in Clotilda.
 
 102 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 You speak of intellectual powers, dear Edward, which 
 you think might carry me in the field of knowledge far 
 beyond anything that I have to teach. At present I 
 find myself far within this boundary, and why should I 
 strive after such a distant object ? You cannot wish 
 me to try to become a learned woman ? The standard 
 by which I estimate the value of these acquirements, 
 for myself at least, is their applicability to practical 
 life, or their power to quicken that divine spark in us 
 which we call intellect. This latter object, however, 
 is often, as I think, as well attained by active life as 
 by study and learning. Social intercourse is very dear 
 to me; more so, I fancy, than you are aware more, 
 perhaps, than is right. Here my new duties certainly 
 require frequent sacrifices at my hands, and these I do 
 not always find it easy to make. So let my sociable 
 turn of mind be a guarantee to you that I shall never 
 quite neglect society ! '
 
 103 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 1818-1819. 
 
 DEATH OF MADAME BRUNNEMANN'S DAUGHTER ILLNESS 
 
 OF THE CHILDREN PASSAGES FROM LETTERS ILLNESS 
 
 OF HER ADOPTED MOTHER AMELIA'S REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 THIS OCCASION MENTAL CONFLICTS. 
 
 THE tranquil course of Miss Sieveking's outward life 
 was broken, about this time, by a very sorrowful 
 event. The amiable daughter of her adopted mother 
 had long been ailing, latterly in a manner to cause 
 alarm, and many of Amelia's letters express the varying 
 emotions of anxiety, hope, and fear, awakened by her 
 condition. Meanwhile the invalid's weakness increased, 
 and in the night of April 1st, 1818, she died in her 
 husband's arms, and in the presence of her mother and 
 Amelia. The latter writes five days afterwards in her 
 diary : ( Grod ! that the tenderest mother should be 
 thus bereaved of her child, the husband of the wife 
 whom he so deeply loved all, of our friend ! Grod, give 
 us strength to bear what Thou hast laid upon us ; from 
 Thee comes all strength, but Thou wilt give it to those 
 who ask Thee.' Then she describes to her brother the
 
 104 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELM1NA SIETEKIXG. 
 
 last illness and end of the departed, praises the pious 
 resignation of her excellent adopted mother and of the 
 bereaved husband, and concludes ' Yes, it is here, in- 
 deed, that one recognises the truly divine nature of Sor- 
 row, which, according to the will of Him who sends it, 
 is meant to draw us toward heaven, where it shall be 
 transformed into celestial joy.' 
 
 About Whitsuntide, Clotilda and her little sister 
 Henrietta were attacked by the measles. Amelia slept 
 in their room, nursed them day and night, and writes 
 to her brother in England : 
 
 * I cannot tell you with what tender care my excellent 
 aunt watched over the little ones, still less put into 
 words the faith, and love, and hope, that shine out con- 
 tinually through her whole life. You are right, indeed, 
 in praising the happiness of my lot. In the arms of 
 such true maternal love (I may really use the word 
 here), surrounded by almost none but good persons, 
 many of them unusually good, placed in a sphere of 
 action which occupies mind and heart alike pleasantly, 
 how easy is it made for me to preserve peace 
 and cheerfulness within ! And yet, Oh ! Edward, yet 
 there come many wicked, wicked hours hours when 
 my whole heart rises up with a hostile feeling against 
 all that is better than itself ! So I beg you, dear brother, 
 do not think me so much better than I am, do not 
 make my struggle after a submissive humility more 
 toilsome, by expressions of admiration which are only
 
 MEMORY OF HER BROTHER. 105 
 
 too gratifying to iny vain heart. I always choose those 
 hours for my correspondence when all within is 
 brightest ; then I write ; but how far am I from carrying 
 out faithfully in practice what has hovered before me so 
 clearly in thought ! And thus, my brother, do you also 
 go forward steadfastly in your busier career in the great 
 world. The endless diversity of nature has always been 
 to me its greatest wonder a diversity which reigns 
 in every part, and yet unites all parts into one whole. 
 Doubtless the moral is as rich as the physical world ; 
 goodness may manifest itself in a thousand human 
 beings in ever varying forms, and yet is the same in 
 essence everywhere. So, dear Edward, it is no doubt 
 one and the same spirit which impels you to energetic 
 action, and me to quiet meditation. God help us both 
 onwards !' 
 
 In August she writes to Minna Hosch about her de- 
 parted brother, on whose memory she dwells constantly 
 in thought : 
 
 * Oh Minna, how his image still floats before me ! 
 What noble traits it possesses ! His deep earnestness, 
 softened by such a kindly cheerfulness, his glowing- 
 zeal for all that is noble and good, his tenderness in all 
 the relations of life that are knit by the love of nature 
 and kindred ; his many-sided mental cultivation ; and, 
 above all, that perfectly unassuming modesty which 
 seemed scarcely conscious of his great gifts, His cha- 
 racter is my model : shall I ever be able to come up to
 
 106 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 it in some points ? It fills my thoughts at present more 
 vividly than usual. Ah ! I can so well understand, now, 
 how those who have seen most of their loved ones depart 
 before them can no longer feel at home upon this earth. 
 If that solemn summons were to reach me now, that 
 to-day calls one, to-morrow another hence, how much 
 easier should I find it to obey the signal from my 
 Heavenly Father, when I might think that I also saw 
 in it a token from him I loved so dearly.' 
 In November she writes : 
 
 * Since that one hope no longer mingles with my life, 
 I feel much less disposition to society, and am inclined 
 to retire more into a quiet home life. It is only now 
 and then that I care to spend an evening in a mixed 
 social circle. I think it is wholesome to do so some- 
 times, lest my naturally grave disposition should acquire 
 a gloomy cast. Yet I must learn how to guard against 
 this danger without external help ; true Christian love 
 is cheerful, and this precious flower will bloom only 
 from within.' 
 
 Then on the 6th of December : 
 
 * Oh, how precious it is to have such a Father in 
 heaven ! I often feel Him so near to me ; and when 
 my life seems joyless, I have but to come before His 
 face, and He once more pours out joy and peace upon 
 His child. Yes, my Father, I often feel Thy blessed 
 hand ; Father, draw me ever nearer to Thyself ! ' 
 
 And on the 13th :
 
 CIIARACTEK OF HEK SCHOOL. 107 
 
 ' Many will accuse Gr. of want of feeling ; I will not. 
 I will never venture to set myself up as the judge of the 
 feelings of others, except where they are unmistakeably 
 indicated by their actions. Feeling is in itself some- 
 thing so changeable that we are scarcely able always 
 to give ourselves clear account of our own ; then, 
 again, the way in which it shows itself differs as much as 
 each human being differs from another. Such modera- 
 tion of judgment is especially demanded from me, as I 
 am conscious that I often differ much from others in 
 my feelings. If I were to use my own as my standard, 
 I must of course concede a similar right to others in 
 judging of me, and I am afraid I should not come off 
 well in that case ! ' 
 
 On the 20th of December she writes : 
 
 ' When I speak of the spirit which pervades my little 
 school, I may include in it, honesty, cheerfulness, 
 pleasure in learning, and tolerably correct judgment; 
 but I wish I could see also somewhat of softness, 
 modesty, affection, and geniality. Whence this want ? 
 Ah ! I need seek the cause of it only in myself. If my 
 own nature were more deeply imbued with the all- 
 kindling glow of love to Grod, doubtless these young 
 souls would catch more of its quickening beams. 
 Father, shine Thou in my spirit, that I may glorify 
 Thee in those whom Thou hast given me ! ' 
 
 In December she writes to Minna Hosch on a parti- 
 cular occasion : ( Alas ! for rash judgments on the
 
 108 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKIXG. 
 
 faults of others ! How many a weakness, that might 
 yet have been healed by the tender touch of affection, 
 has been converted by such rashness into an incurable 
 wound ! Alas, if there were not the One great Physician 
 of souls, who will at last, we may yet hope, guide both 
 the harsh judge and the condemned of human opinion 
 alike into one way of peace ! ' 
 
 Early in the year 1818, Madame Briinnemann 
 became seriously ill, and for some weeks Amelia was 
 obliged to relinquish her teaching in order to nurse her. 
 It was at this time that this excellent woman, whose 
 feelings towards her adopted child were truly maternal, 
 first proposed that Amelia should give her the name of 
 mother, and the mode in which the latter received the 
 proposal was most characteristic. To her the name was 
 one of grave significance, and her great conscientious- 
 ness made her fear that it might involve possible con- 
 sequences, and impose on her obligations which she 
 might be unable fully to accept, for dim visions of a very 
 different future vocation were floating in her mind. She 
 herself, speaking afterwards of this occurrence, says : 
 ' My hesitation, I believe, gave her pain, yet I could not 
 regret afterwards that I had spoken as I did at the very 
 first moment. There is something peculiar in the name 
 of mother, and although I never knew my own mother, 
 there wag something in me which resisted the thought 
 of giving her name to another. The relation of a 
 daughter implies a closer and more dependent connec-
 
 MME. BKUNNEMANN'S ILLNESS. 109 
 
 tion, and against this especially a voice rose up within 
 me. I had not entered the house originally as an 
 adopted child, but as the nurse and companion of the 
 invalid son ; and to carry out the projects which then 
 just began to occupy me, I needed greater freedom than 
 the relation of a daughter would allow. I therefore ac- 
 cepted Madame Briinnemann's offer only with a certain 
 definite reserve.' 
 
 On the 14th of February, she writes in her diary : 
 ' How beautifully the character of my excellent mother 
 (I may indeed call her so now) shines out in this 
 illness ! How poor, how barren is my sort of goodness 
 in comparison ! But may I speak of my goodness at 
 all ? No, indeed, I feel deeply that I cannot. When 
 there is so much uncertain wavering within, so much 
 of mere external show without, there is no true good- 
 ness as yet ! Ah ! when shall I attain this precious 
 jewel? When shall I labour to "work out my salvation" 
 with undivided powers, and untiring energy ? Well do 
 I know the two great hindrances to goodness in me if I 
 only knew as well how to conquer them ! they are an 
 immoderate desire of enjoyment, and the wish to be 
 something in the eyes of others.' 
 
 And in March : ' I am not at all satisfied with my 
 way of treating the dear invalid ; I do not at all under- 
 stand how to manage nervous weaknesses. What is the 
 reason ? Is it not pride, an overvaluing of intellect ? 
 When I am conscious of a superiority in judgment, do
 
 110 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 I sufficiently take into account, on the other side, my 
 inferiority in power of affection, and that cultivation of 
 the heart which is worth so much more than the other ? 
 But I often long to find myself connected with some 
 one whom I should be compelled to recognise as my 
 superior on all sides, and who could judge me at once 
 strictly and truthfully. I feel painfully that my aunt's 
 endless indulgence, her undeservedly high opinion of 
 me, exercise an injurious influence on my moral cha- 
 racter. How shall I preserve the precious jewel of 
 humility ? I often feel downright afraid of myself; I 
 should like to have a confessor, after the Eoman 
 Catholic fashion. Auricular confession may have given 
 rise to innumerable abuses, but if the priest were the 
 man he ought to be, it might be a splendid thing ! ' 
 
 Again : ' I contradict too much, and often without 
 sufficient self-diffidence. Two opinions may differ, and 
 yet they need not be sharply opposed ; often on certain 
 points they might be brought nearly to concur. Why 
 must I always take them up precisely at their opposite 
 ends, and pull them as far asunder as I can ? ' 
 
 In March she writes to her brother Edward : ' I see 
 in my Bible and in my "Thomas a Kempis " how utterly 
 worthless is all human knowledge in comparison to one 
 spark of Divine love, and I am ashamed to think how 
 often I have preferred that empty show to the one thing 
 needful. " Thomas a Kempis," for whose acquaintance 
 I have to thank you, is still one of my favourite books.'
 
 EETURN OF SPRING. Ill 
 
 Again, in her diary : ' I believe I have a natural dis- 
 position to real despotism. What a dangerous inclina- 
 tion for a woman, whose vocation it is to accommodate 
 herself lovingly to the wills of others, and who ought to 
 find her sweetest freedom in obedience. . . . Ah, how 
 shall I ever learn the difficult task of forgetting self ! 
 I wish some grave, reproving teacher were ever at my 
 side I I find too much lenience everywhere, and I am 
 not strong enough to resist the temptation to be too 
 lenient with myself. But is it not the very truth that a 
 strict judge is over one at every moment? Oh that 
 this thought might every day gain power and life in 
 me!' 
 
 Of Kotzebue's murderer she writes in her diary : ' I 
 cannot bear to hear the unmerciful condemnation poured 
 out on that poor deluded wretch. The man who stakes 
 his life on his conviction of truth is no common despi- 
 cable creature, however perverted his judgment may 
 be.' 
 
 In April : c Is not every new awakening of nature, in 
 the spring time, like a new creation ? What richness, what 
 beauty everywhere ! But I felt as if I could not take in 
 all the boundless exultation of nature ; and then, again, 
 it awoke the longing for heaven. What is earthly, even 
 in its greatest glory, can never satisfy the human spirit.' 
 At times we now catch a glimpse of that thought 
 which, in the secret depths of her heart, was cherished 
 as her possible future vocation. She writes in her
 
 112 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 diary : ' Has not God different vocations for his different 
 creatures, and has not each its own joys ? May I not 
 find in mine some compensation for what is denied me 
 elsewhere? To be a happy wife and mother is not 
 mine then foundress of an order of Sisters of Mercy ! ' 
 
 Again : ' It is strange how often I feel drawn towards 
 those who have but a poor opinion of me, or almost 
 entirely overlook me ; and yet I am really proud ! 
 Perhaps the charm lies in the difficulty of winning the 
 respect of persons whose superiority I recognise ; and 
 then, too, there is an elevating feeling of independence 
 in laying our reverence at the feet of those who show no 
 special esteem for us.' 
 
 Again : ' I have not love enough in me, I am so often 
 cold and dead* But I trust myself to the leadings of 
 God. He who is Himself Love will surely draw me to 
 Him ; have I not often such an intense longing for union 
 with Him? Surely he will kindle the flame of love in 
 me, though it may be through the storms of adversity. 
 I have prayed God from my heart to send me trial, if it 
 would bring me nearer to Him, and this prayer has given 
 me tranquillity. What thought can torment us, when 
 we have once opened all our heart to God ? '
 
 113 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 1819-1820. 
 
 REST IN FAITH EXTRACTS FROM LETTERS VISIT OF 
 
 RELATIONS FROM ENGLAND MENTAL PROGRESS SECOND 
 
 COURSE OF CLASSES. 
 
 ABO UT this time Miss Sieveking worked her way out 
 at last into a settled faith. At a later period she 
 wrote to one of her scholars, speaking of this part of 
 her life : 
 
 * I told you that a change had taken place in 
 my mind from the time of my brother's death, and I 
 will now relate more particularly how I attained to true 
 belief. When beginning my second course of classes, 
 I felt the necessity of giving the children something 
 more in the way of religious instruction than I had 
 hitherto done. Thomas a Kempis led me to the Bible 
 itself, but I sought anxiously for explanations of its 
 meaning, and took up everything that came in my way, 
 such as the Commentaries on the Gospels and Epistles 
 for the Sundays of the Year, by Stolz, and others by 
 Niemeyer and Bless, which were all, however, rational- 
 istic in tone. At last Francke's Preface to the Bible fell 
 into my hands, and there I found what taught me how 
 
 I
 
 114 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEYEKIXG. 
 
 the Bible ought to be read ; for he tells his readers to 
 compare the different passages one with another, and 
 to apply all they read to themselves with prayer. 
 Then I put away all my books and turned to the Bible 
 alone, and the Lord suffered Himself to be found of 
 me. I can, therefore, most truly affirm that my faith 
 does not rest on human authority, but on the Lord. 
 I stood very much alone, for the whole circle in which 
 I lived, even my dear adopted mother, knew but little 
 of truly evangelical religion. At a later period, 
 Schubert's book, " Old and New," made a deep impres- 
 sion on me, for it set before me the true faith, not as a 
 set of lifeless dogmas, but as a life acted out by real 
 human beings. For awhile I still had doubts with 
 regard to the doctrine of the Atonement, but later they 
 too were solved. At this time I frequently conversed 
 with Eautenberg, a dear friend of my departed 
 brother, and with the good Pastor Miitzenbecher, and 
 found much help from them.' 
 
 It was in this stage of her mental progress that many 
 of the preceding and following extracts from her diaries 
 and letters were written. So in June 1819 she says : 
 
 4 How much would I give to read the Bible with 
 Rautenberg or Pauli ; I think I should learn a great 
 deal in that way. Especially do I wish for a conversa- 
 tion with one of them on those passages which refer to 
 the Atonement of Christ ; I feel myself now strongly 
 inclined to adopt the orthodox doctrine which I have so
 
 ON WORLDLINESS. 115 
 
 long rejected, but I must have clearer light on it first.' 
 And again : ( How does the Lord now suffer me to 
 experience His tenderness and love ; how can I thank 
 Him for so much grace ! ' And later : ' It grieved me 
 to hear S. talking of death as of a spectre that had 
 filled her with terror when she was ill. Poor girl! 
 How little does the true spirit of the Gospel seem to be 
 known, which indeed makes us find life beautiful and 
 gladdening, and yet teaches us that death to the 
 Christian must always be gain.' 
 
 In August : 
 
 ' I know from my own experience only too well to what 
 dangers a lively mind is exposed in intercourse with 
 people of a certain refined and elegant cultivation, with 
 which somewhat of worldliness is combined. One's 
 judgment is so easily beguiled by it, and we learn 
 gradually to lay great stress on certain external advan- 
 tages, which in the balance of eternity will be found 
 of very little weight.' 
 
 One observation will seem most striking to all who 
 knew her in after life. On a particular occasion she 
 writes : 
 
 * Such a constitution as mine promises me in all 
 likelihood a vigorous old age ; but what will become of 
 me then, if I already love my own comfort so much ?' 
 
 In August : 
 
 S A strange feeling comes over me,, when I look 
 back into the past that I have already lived through. 
 
 I 2
 
 116 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 At times I find it hard to believe that I can be 
 the same person who once went through this and 
 that, and felt and thought so and so very differently 
 often from what I should now feel and think under the 
 same circumstances. But, in a certain sense, I am not 
 the same. Amid the manifold outward changes of 
 circumstances, the germs of the inner life of the soul 
 are unfolding, almost imperceptibly, yet not the less 
 surely, and thus the inward man assumes another aspect 
 as the outward does. Ah ! if this inward form did but 
 grow ever brighter and holier ! What might I be, if 
 all my powers could retain unwaveringly the upward 
 tendency once given to them ? What might I be, and 
 what am I now ? ' 
 
 Again, later : ' Let us turn away our eyes from all 
 that outward circumstances only can bestow, but in 
 that which we can attain for ourselves, let the highest 
 be ever our aim ! ' 
 
 At last, on the 29th of August, we read : 
 * what a foretaste of heavenly blessedness pervades 
 my heart ! I see the dawning of a lovely light, a light 
 that will, I believe, shed brightness over all my earthly 
 existence. I was uncertain in my belief ; I felt the need 
 of coming to some clear view of that doctrine of Atone- 
 ment which had long been foolishness to me. Happily, 
 I resolved to seek an answer to my difficulties from 
 Eautenberg, and now he has been with me. I have 
 told him freely all that lay on my heart, and he has 
 told me with much affectionateness precious things,
 
 ON THE ATONEMENT. 117 
 
 which seem to me to have opened a new vista of truth 
 before me, and to have brought me much nearer to 
 (rod, and to Christ, whom I can now look on as truly 
 God. Much yet remains to ask and to hear, but he 
 has promised to come again, and my mind is looking 
 forward with strong desire to further blessed disclosures. 
 Shall I then, too, at last attain a childlike faith in that 
 most comforting doctrine of Atonement ? my (rod, 
 Thou dost show Thyself very gracious to me, that Thou 
 dost draw me thus with gentle force to Thyself, often as 
 I have carelessly turned aside from Thee ! Ah ! how I 
 shudder when I think that I might ever again forsake 
 Thee!' 
 
 Later : ' I have found, by repeated experience, that if 
 through idleness I have got behindhand with my work, 
 the only way is to bring up all I have lost as soon as 
 possible by giving up a night to it. Then I get into the 
 right channel again. Otherwise the consciousness of all 
 that remains yet to be done makes me dispirited and 
 irritable, and it easily happens that fresh neglects 
 accumulate.' 
 
 Soon afterwards, when a friend warns her against 
 enthusiasm in her new religious belief, she writes : 
 
 ' The cold reasoning faculty which predominates in 
 my character secures me, I think, against mere en- 
 thusiasm ; and that my newly- won faith should plunge 
 me into idle reveries I cannot believe, from the expe- 
 rience I have already had of its power to kindle and 
 occupy every faculty of my soul. But your friendly
 
 118 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMLNA SIEVEKING. 
 
 warning shall not have been given in vain ; I will watch 
 and try myself more closely, and especially mark 
 whether my moral conduct keeps pace with my spiritual 
 knowledge I have had a second religious con- 
 versation with Eautenberg. In some points it was not 
 so entirely satisfactory as the first, but I must, as he told 
 me, work out still a great deal for myself. Much he has 
 indeed given me, whence I may draw true joy and cou- 
 rage for my onward progress. Do I not feel the Kedeemer 
 and Saviour far more truly mine than formerly ?' 
 
 Again, soon afterwards : 
 
 ' What a wealth of affection there is in my dear 
 aunt's disposition ! I often think I have tasted it in all 
 its fullness, and then new treasures open before me ! 
 Must not my own heart be kindled by such love ? Is 
 it not an emanation from Thee, Thou Eternal Love, 
 whose depths remain for ever unfathomable, even to the 
 deepest and tenderest soul ? ' 
 
 In the winter of 1819-1820, Miss Sieveking had the 
 great pleasure of seeing her brother and his family in 
 Hamburg. They spent some months there, and her 
 brother and his wife left their two little boys with her 
 during a journey on business into other parts of Grer- 
 many. They spent their Christmas together, and Amelia 
 strove anxiously to divide her time aright between this 
 precious intercourse and her usual occupations. Mean- 
 while the inner life of faith was unfolding itself steadily. 
 She writes to Minna Hosch, in January 1820:
 
 MENTAL PROGRESS. 119 
 
 f Ah ! that I were more worthy of the countless tokens 
 of divine grace and goodness that I daily receive ! My 
 love to Him is so imperfect, and yet the kindness and 
 compassion of my Heavenly Father surround me on 
 every side. What would it not be, if I were but through 
 and through good and holy ! As yet I am so far, far 
 distant from this point, that I often fall into discourage- 
 ment, but one upward glance comforts me again. The 
 All-powerful will uphold my feeble strength, and He 
 who has begun a good work in me will not leave it 
 unaccomplished.' 
 
 In April she writes to the same about a mutual 
 acquaintance : 
 
 ' We see in him, very strikingly, how little natural 
 light>-heartedness avails a man under the pressure of 
 serious misfortune ; how nothing will then give true 
 courage, but a submissive, trustful raising of the heart 
 to (rod. But for the most part we never learn this truly 
 till the actual hour of trial comes ; our pride must 
 first be brought down ; the supports on which it relies 
 must give way beneath us ; then, then only do we flee 
 into the open arms of that Father who alone is mighty 
 to help, and find in His endless compassion our peace 
 and blessedness.' 
 
 In May she writes in her diary : 
 
 * My inner life has received a mighty impulse. The 
 impression of those conversations with Eautenberg is 
 still vivid within me, and is strengthened by reading
 
 120 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELHINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 several valuable works, which seem to me to have 
 opened more and more the gates of the kingdom of 
 heaven to my soul, to have given me a growing per- 
 ception of its divine glories, and quickened all my up- 
 ward aspirations. And I hope now that the excellent 
 Pastor Miitzenbecher will not fail to lead me nearer to 
 the Source of our Salvation, our Lord Jesus Christ.' 
 
 After reading an account of the last days of Count F. 
 L. Stolberg, she writes: 
 
 ' How it elevates and expands the heart to read of 
 such a deathbed ! That he became a Eoman Catholic 
 does not with me weaken the impression. The differ- 
 ence between Catholicism and Protestantism does not 
 appear to me nearly so great as it did in earlier years, 
 and I firmly believe that probably as many Catholics as 
 Protestants may belong to the invisible Church which 
 our Lord gathers for Himself on earth. The spirit of 
 the Gospel is not bound to any external forms, not even 
 to particular opinions on this or that subject.' 
 
 And again, later, on another topic : 
 
 ' I yielded too much to the feeling of physical fatigue, 
 and yet I have often so little indulgence for those who 
 are more weighed down by weakness than myself. 0, 
 my Father, if the consciousness of my strength makes 
 me hard, let me rather become weak and helpless ! ' 
 
 On the 21st of May: 
 
 *It was a beautiful moment, when the poor man 
 stood before me shedding tears of joy. How must I
 
 ON TKUE CHARITY. 121 
 
 thank Thee, my God, for the great blessing Thou hast 
 bound up with my lot, in enabling me to be of use to 
 so many ! But I must try to make my own wants 
 more simple, lest I should narrow this blessing through 
 them. And then, too, does not my pleasure in doing 
 good to strangers sometimes make me forget the good 
 I might do in the nearer circle of home ? I often feel my- 
 self more strongly impelled to the former than the latter ; 
 probably because in the former as in everything which 
 cannot be, strictly speaking, required of me my vanity 
 finds more room for gratification than in duties whose 
 fulfilment is, as it were, a mere matter of course. But 
 is not this the very point, above all others, where St. 
 Paul's words apply : " Though I bestow all my goods to 
 feed the poor," &c. I need greater charity where the 
 individual peculiarities of character differ from my own. 
 
 1 How remarkably have I found help from God, where 
 many would have thought it foolishness to look for it ! 
 How does His presence make the toilsome way easy ! 
 Yes, our God is indeed a great God, and yet He does not 
 disdain to listen to our lightest request. Father, I will 
 henceforward turn to Thee in all things ; whatever op- 
 presses or annoys me I will lay before Thee with childlike 
 confidence. But that God condescends to show forth 
 Himself even in such small things, shall put to shame my 
 proud heart, which finds first one thing, then another, in 
 my daily vocation too mean and trivial.' 
 
 The old enemies do indeed return from time to time,
 
 122 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 but she now has the true weapons at hand. Thus she 
 says in her diary : 
 
 %/ / 
 
 'I must absolutely keep my imagination under a 
 tighter rein. Have not the fancied romances working 
 in my head these last two days, made me once more 
 discontented and incapable in my every-day life, and 
 slothful in the fulfilment of my duties? Not that I 
 possess a very vivid imagination in general ; the poet- 
 ical tinge which this faculty can impart to common life 
 is quite wanting in all that I attempt or accomplish. 
 It is only occasionally, when I come upon certain 
 romantic ideas which lie far enough from my daily work, 
 that this power shows itself very active in my mind, and 
 knows how to paint the pictures it then brings before me 
 in colours so attractive, that all the representations of 
 reason are thrust aside, and I know not how to escape 
 from my dreams. But for the future, with (rod's help, 
 I will make a stand at the very beginning.' 
 
 On the llth June: 
 
 ' I am sorry that the relation in which I have stood 
 for some time to Pastor Miitzenbecher must now cease. 
 Yet it may be for my good, and may teach me how to 
 distinguish the thing itself from the persons who hold 
 it the essential from the non-essential. Does not self- 
 love creep in everywhere, and have I not traced its in- 
 fluence even here ?....! cannot say that I have 
 as yet experienced in all its warmth and power that 
 faith which breathed through his sermon on the Atone-
 
 SPIRIT OF THE AGE. 123 
 
 ment, but I have come much nearer to it of late. 
 this consoling, joy-bringing faith ! I feel it will root 
 itself ever more deeply in my heart it will approve itself 
 ever more the power of God unto salvation. Yes, it is 
 indeed a sweet and blessed thing, to believe ; and if that 
 were gone, how desolate and dark this world would be ! 
 Where reason shows us nothing but the night and chilling 
 frost of death, faith kindles a cheering brightness, and 
 breathes over us the warm breath of life.' 
 
 Soon afterwards she writes : 
 
 * It is a strange and mighty thing, this spirit of the 
 age ! How wonderfully has it altered before our very 
 eyes, within the last few years ! Many older persons 
 look on it with uneasiness, and cannot thoroughly enter 
 into it. To me it is very dear, and I thank God for 
 its ameliorating influence. Under it the preaching of 
 faith, faith in its simplicity and power, has sprung into 
 renovated life. But we must take great heed, I think, 
 lest what is good in us should be the work merely of the 
 spirit of the age, or it might easily deprive us again of 
 what it had once bestowed. The Holy Spirit of God is 
 something far higher. Oh ! that my progress might be 
 wrought by Him ; then I should indeed be founded on 
 the Eock.' 
 
 In June she writes : ' 
 
 ' My garden, and the arrangement of my flower-beds, 
 gives me so much pleasure that when I am once at 
 work there, I do not know how to tear myself away
 
 124 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKISG. 
 
 It reminds me of my childhood, when one of my 
 favourite schemes was to be a gardener when I grew 
 up. And a gardener I should like to be now, though 
 perhaps not so much a labourer in God's natural garden, 
 as in that higher one in which the flowers never fade, 
 but blossom into eternal life.' 
 
 Another time she has again been overcome by 
 weakness : 
 
 ' Lately I had been so successful in my battles, and 
 now the courage to resume the warfare seemed gone. 
 I let myself go, worked carelessly, lay down at night 
 without prayer, and gave myself up the next morning to 
 idle dreams. And when one has once yielded to sin, 
 how hard it is to break loose from it again. For three 
 whole days I was, as it were, utterly dead to the higher 
 life : all love was quenched in me, the thought of God 
 had no power I was given up to the desires of my own 
 heart. True, I have now, by the grace of God, worked 
 my way back again ; but how different would it be with 
 me now, had I never entered the path of transgres- 
 sion. My Father, give me more faithfulness in future ; 
 accept my feeble vow ; Thou, my Saviour, help me to 
 keep it! During these days, too, I have incurred a 
 debt towards my mother, the discharge of which might 
 well make me blush at the Last Day. Do Thou, 
 Jesus, discharge it for me; I shall never be able to 
 do it' 
 
 Soon afterwards :
 
 ON HUMILITY. 125 
 
 * That day I was filled with a most wholesome sense 
 of my poverty and unworthiness before Grod, which 
 repressed the usual demands of vanity. Oh! that I 
 could persevere in this spirit of humility ! I have tasted 
 and known that the sweet peace, the tranquil enjoy- 
 ment of life, which may be drawn from the wells in 
 the valley of humiliation, are never to be found on the 
 heights of pride and fame. Father, Thou knowest how 
 proud and vain this heart is! Humble it, Father, 
 that it may be healed ; let it grow through humility ! ' 
 
 Again : * As a friend I am far below H. My heart is 
 colder, is not capable of that quick sympathy which 
 seems peculiar and natural to her. My Grod, Thou hast 
 made this heart, Thou hast formed it of harder stuff 
 than that of many other better people. But if it could 
 but devote itself wholly to Thee, it would grow large 
 and tender. Thou canst make vessels of different clay, 
 yet all vessels to Thy honour.' 
 
 Once more : 
 
 ' What is it in me that makes me restless when I see 
 others enjoying pleasures which I have renounced, 
 partly from a conviction of duty, partly, and perhaps 
 chiefly, because I do not feel myself susceptible 
 of them ? I grudge others a mere phantom of hap- 
 piness, that to me would scarcely give a moment's 
 amusement. Ah ! Lord, how weak and vain is my 
 heart! Oh that it might be wholly filled with the 
 Highest Grood! Then would these restless impulses
 
 126 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 cease The endeavour to put the best construc- 
 tion on everything may be carried too far. Where it 
 loses perfect truthfulness, it becomes unmeaning, and 
 is likely to call out still sharper contradiction from 
 
 others My Father, Thou hast repaid me a 
 
 thousandfold for the effort a good deed cost me, by the 
 precious consciousness of having accomplished some- 
 thing useful ! For the future I will look around me 
 most carefully, that no opportunity of doing good may 
 pass by unused. My meat shall be to do the will of Grod.' 
 
 In a letter to Minna Hosch about this time, Amelia 
 says of her Aunt Sieveking, in Altona, with whom she 
 always had much intercourse : 
 
 f In mind she is the same as ever, though somewhat 
 aged in body ; her whole manner still expresses the 
 same indescribably attractive kindliness towards all who 
 come in contact with her, and her conversation shows 
 the same vivid interest in every topic that is brought 
 forward. People often take much anxious pains to 
 form children for society, to render them generally 
 pleasing; they try to teach them accomplishments, 
 talk much of politeness and dignity, and give them a 
 thousand rules of behaviour. Would not one very 
 simple one be enough think more of others than of 
 yourself? Does not everything else flow out of this 
 naturally ? .... Ah ! if we could be satisfied to educate, 
 not by trying to add from without, but to draw forth from 
 within, the results would possess far more gracefulness.'
 
 EXTRACTS FROM HER DIARY. 127 
 
 In September 1820, she writes in her diary : 
 
 * If I may trust my own presentiments, my vocation 
 is to single life ; my character, my whole nature has 
 assumed a type too decided for married life, in which a 
 man loves in some sense to form his wife ; and I think too 
 that my Heavenly Teacher sees that the comparative 
 quietness and obscurity of a single woman's position is 
 better for my pride. Lord, as Thou wilt ! Thou canst 
 fill every lot with overflowing blessings ; faithfully and 
 humbly will I follow Thy hand wherever it may lead.' 
 
 Soon after she says : 
 
 ' When I look into my heart I see an abyss of evil in 
 it, from which I should recoil in discouragement if I 
 had to work my way out of it by my own strength. 
 But I rely undoubtingly on the promise of my Grod, 
 that He will sustain me in the work of inward satis- 
 faction ; and often I do actually feel His purifying 
 influences from above. How should I then lose courage, 
 and despair ? ' 
 
 Amelia had a strong wish that her revered pastor, 
 Miitzenbecher, who had done so much to enlighten and 
 fortify her mind, should entrust his little daughter to 
 her care, and ventured at last to express her desire in a 
 letter. With what ardour she threw her whole soul into 
 this and similar occurrences, may be seen from the fol- 
 lowing passage in her diary : 
 
 'I took the answer with a trembling hand, and for 
 some time did not venture to open it. Meanwhile, I
 
 128 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKTNG. 
 
 sought to compose myself, and to resign myself before- 
 hand to the will of God in case of disappointment. 
 And then I read it, and found the complete fulfilment 
 of my long-cherished hope. Overcome by the divine 
 goodness, I could only express my thanks by tears. It 
 was a moment of pure and holy joy ! ' 
 
 On a letter received about this time from her brother, 
 she remarks : 
 
 4 He praises me because, he says, I have the power of 
 withdrawing from the attractions of a busy and en- 
 grossing outward life, into quiet meditation on the 
 highest truths. But what advantages my position offers 
 me in this respect ! Am I not much more of a spec- 
 tator than an actor in the whirl and tumult of the 
 world ? How much leisure and solitude is granted me, 
 in which I can meditate unhindered on that which is 
 eternally true, and how intimately is my whole calling 
 connected with what is most cheering and elevating to 
 the mind.' 
 
 An arrangement was now made by which Miss Sieve- 
 king resigned the instruction of the elder children in 
 religion, geography, and history, to two tutors, while 
 still giving them some lessons weekly in reading, arith- 
 metic, and natural history ; and at the same time she 
 began a new course of study with a class of ten younger 
 girls. She writes on this point, on the 27th October: 
 
 ' Dear Father ! I thank Thee for the peace and joy 
 which Thou dost permit me to experience : the delight-
 
 EXTRACT FROM DIARY. 129 
 
 ful calling which Thou hast opened to me gives me 
 both. I often feel such a sense of happiness that I 
 cannot put it into words ; and I have a presentiment 
 of a yet higher blessedness when my soul shall have 
 become purer from pride and self-will. The power of 
 Grod is mighty in weakness! A clear firm will does 
 much may it never be diverted from its true aim 
 by my vanity I Temperance and early rising will also, 
 
 I think, give me more strength and time The 
 
 number of my children is raised to ten. Eight had 
 been promised, when it was proposed to me to take 
 the two little C.'s. I hesitated long, and could not 
 come to a decision : suddenly, like a ray of light, came 
 the suggestion to ask Grod for a decision by means 
 of the lot. I asked earnestly, and cast lots. The 
 answer was that I should take the children ; and I felt 
 myself at once raised with the most happy assurance 
 above all my perplexities. Was this an over-excited 
 fancy ? Was my prayer presumptuous ? I cannot 
 think so, for I was very calm and composed. I must 
 have a growing confidence in my Heavenly Father's 
 condescending pity, for He shows Himself ever ten- 
 derer towards me. Oh, my Father, if I did but wholly 
 love and thank Thee as I ought ! ' * 
 Soon afterwards she says : 
 
 * It does not appear that Miss Sieveking continued the practice of the 
 lot in after-life. Doubtless, like many others, she was led to feel that 
 we have no right to ask for a sign in circumstances which are sent to 
 train us in the use of our judgment TE. 
 
 K
 
 
 
 130 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEYEKING. 
 
 * My religious instruction is given at present in the 
 form of lessons on the Bible histories. Here I shall 
 meet with many difficulties. Send me, Father ! Thy 
 Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Truth, that I may overcome 
 them. I hope to gain much for my own religious life 
 from a more intimate acquaintance with the Old Testa- 
 ment. The time for my lesson is always too short ; 
 I can never get through so much with the children as 
 I intended.' 
 
 In the course of this year Madame Briinnemann's 
 son-in-law married again, quite in accordance with the 
 wishes of his late wife's family, so that their relation 
 continued on the same footing as before. About 
 January 1821, Amelia writes : 
 
 ' Just before Christmas I had a bad fit of lukewarm- 
 ness; I turned away from my God, sought after out- 
 ward pleasures and worldly amusements, found bitter- 
 ness in them, and yet could not tear myself away. 
 Then my faithful Shepherd, Jesus Christ, sought me 
 and fetched me home from my wanderings, and more 
 deeply than ever do I now feel that true happiness is 
 only to be found where He is ; and that without Him 
 the world is but a dreary desert. . . . Several sermons 
 lately have deeply touched and moved me. I felt so 
 much at home in the house of the Lord, that what is 
 said of Hannah, " She was day and night in the 
 Temple," acquired to me a very sweet and cheering 
 meaning. Once it was not so with me ; it was a long 
 time before I had any real taste for going to church.'
 
 131 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 1821-1822. 
 
 INCREASING ACTIVITY IN HER SCHOOL THE DIARIES 
 
 CEASE JOY AND PROGRESS IN THE INNER LIFE ON 
 
 THE SUFFERINGS AND EDUCATION OF DELICATE CHILDREN 
 
 CONFIRMATION OF FIVE PUPILS. 
 
 IN the years we have now reached, Miss Sieveking's 
 Sunday conversations with herself, the meditations 
 which we have quoted under the name of her diary, 
 come to an end, and her letters are written at longer 
 intervals. Her other engagements filled up more of her 
 spare time, and assumed more distinctly the character of 
 a definite occupation. Her newly-won faith, and all the 
 blessed experiences of the inner life that it brought with 
 it, filled her mind with joyous aspiration, and the tone 
 of her letters at this time tells us that she is in the 
 period of the ' first love,' and often cannot find words 
 to express her gratitude and happiness. More deeply 
 than ever does she feel her own deficiencies, for she 
 feels them now with the pain of love; but she has 
 found her Redeemer, who hath conquered sin, and 
 drinks in from communion with Him the powers of the 
 
 K 2
 
 * 
 132 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEVEKING. , 
 
 world to come. Thus, on the 25th of December 1821, 
 she writes to Minna Hosch : 
 
 c To-day has begun the glad and glorious feast of 
 Christmas. I rejoice in it as I never did before ; for 
 never before did I see so clearly into the meaning of 
 this festival. I know well, indeed, that this clearness 
 is but a twilight as, yet that I am not able to com- 
 prehend the thousandth part of all the Divine blessing 
 which this holy night brought, eighteen hundred years 
 ago, to our race then so poor, now so rich. But 
 this twilight, this dawn, is the pledge of a glorious 
 day ; this earthly life, once so gloomy, grows brighter 
 and brighter in the beams of a divine splendour. I 
 feel myself blest in the possession of what I have 
 already received, and in the hope of that which my 
 Saviour, according to His promise, has yet in store for 
 me. I am often filled with wonder when I reflect with 
 what faithfulness, what pitying grace, the good Shep- 
 herd of my soul has at last led me, notwithstanding 
 my long resistance, to the fountain of living waters, to 
 the knowledge and love of Himself. Oh that all, all 
 our brethren were even now drawing from this well ! 
 Why are there so many who will not come, who will 
 not follow the voice of that Redeemer who longs to set 
 them free from the misery in which they are held 
 captive, and to make them sharers in His glory ? It 
 is so good to be near Him ! But at last, at last, His 
 grace must conquer; the time will come yes, surely
 
 EXTRACTS FROM LETTERS. 133 
 
 come when every knee will be bowed to His name 
 of all that are in heaven and in earth, and under the 
 earth, and every discord will melt into one harmony 
 of gladness. ... If you will remember me before our 
 God, let your prayer be that, in the coming year, my 
 life may grow more and more like my faith.' 
 
 In a letter of February 1822, to her English friends, 
 she complains of a certain slowness and awkwardness 
 in the transaction of business, which often prevents her 
 from mastering all her household and social duties in 
 addition to her classes, and makes letter-writing a 
 trouble to her. She adds : 
 
 4 But it may be as well that we should feel at times 
 the pressure of our earthly bonds more painfully, to 
 keep awake in us the desire for our heavenly freedom. 
 Yes, my dear brother, let it be so. I will be ready to 
 bear, as long as it is needful, these leaden weights, that 
 so often drag me down, against my will, to earth ; for 
 I know the time approaches when the wings of the 
 soul will expand more freely, when thought will no 
 longer need the inadequate expression of words, when 
 our work will be less toilsome, yet richer in results.' 
 
 About a certain gentle and pious sufferer, she writes 
 to Minna Hosch : 
 
 4 Is not such quiet endurance something harder and 
 greater than the most strenuous activity ? Lately, she 
 began speaking to me of the merit of the occupation I 
 have chosen, but her praise made me feel ashamed, as
 
 134 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 I thought how much higher in God's eyes was this 
 good gentle soul, with the hours of loneliness she must 
 struggle through, with the tears she must shed before 
 Him alone, unregarded by the world, than I with all 
 my activity, which already meets so rich a reward in 
 the approbation it earns for me, that I know not what 
 further claim I could found upon it.' 
 
 In March she is writing to England of her hope that, 
 in the next life, the whole earthly past will lie clearly 
 spread out before the gaze of the glorified spirit, and 
 adds : 
 
 ' No, no oblivion of our earthly life ! However 
 poor and barren it may have been, it was yet the 
 school of our higher being ; least of all, oblivion of 
 our conflicts and sorrows, for in them more espe- 
 cially is the new man, the citizen of heaven, born into 
 life.' 
 
 Soon after, she is writing on the mysteriousness of 
 the sufferings of sick children, and tries to divine the 
 hidden purposes of (rod for them, in these words : 
 
 'We know most certainly that to this poor child, 
 whom even we, in our weak love, would gladly spare 
 every unnecessary pang, the great Physician of souls 
 will not apportion one drop from the bitter cup of 
 suffering, that He does not see needful to heal it 
 from the taint of sin, and make it live for eternity. 
 Many talk much of the necessity that the individual 
 must suffer for the whole, but this is wretched comfort. 
 The Deists, whose God, as Schubert says, is too grand
 
 EDUCATION OF SICK CHILDREN. 135 
 
 to trouble Himself about what is poor and insignificant, 
 may see how they can get on with it ; but it is not the 
 way of our God. He does, indeed, make the suffering 
 of the individual a source of blessing to the, whole, for 
 all His creatures are most wonderfully and beautifully 
 linked together. But all suffering is ordained, in the 
 first place, with reference to the welfare of the in- 
 dividual ; and so we may be assured that the illness 
 of your darling, though it may be also intended to 
 confirm your hearts in faith and submission and self- 
 denying love, is primarily intended for the good of 
 
 your child Only take care that you do not 
 
 counteract from without what the Lord is working 
 within. Oh, it is indeed difficult to train an ailing 
 child ! But woe to those parents who evade the diffi- 
 cult task altogether, under the vain pretext that sick- 
 ness makes every sort of discipline inapplicable, and 
 under this sad delusion seem to do their utmost to 
 make their poor child as unhealthy and wretched in 
 mind as it is in body. If ever a teacher needs a firm- 
 ness springing from the truest affection, it is in the 
 case of an ailing child ; and I am convinced that such 
 firmness exerts a wholesome influence on its physical 
 no less than its moral health. Is it not most striking 
 how attacks of illness are aggravated by self-will and 
 unchecked passions ? May the remembrance, how 
 often the loveliest and tenderest minds have been 
 formed by early struggles with suffering, comfort and 
 strengthen you ! '
 
 136 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 At Easter 1822, five of Miss Sieveking's pupils were 
 confirmed among others her first, Augusta W., and 
 also Clotilda, who, however, continued to live some 
 years longer with her and her aunt. She writes to 
 Minna Hosch : 
 
 'To give them some mark of my sympathy which 
 they might preserve, I addressed each of them in 
 writing. You cannot imagine with what pleasure I 
 now look back on my girls, knowing them to have 
 entered into a closer bond with their Saviour, and 
 trusting that His grace and truth will draw them ever 
 nearer to Himself.'
 
 137 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 1822. 
 
 FOUR SCHOOL-DAYS A WEEK IN THE CITY INCREASING 
 
 PLEASURE IN HER WORK POSITION TOWARDS THE OUTER 
 
 WORLD ON THE RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION OF YOUNG 
 CHILDREN. 
 
 T\UKINGr this summer Amelia gave lessons four days 
 **' in every week in the city, and therefore spent two 
 nights there. On Wednesday her ten little pupils came to 
 her from nine to half-past twelve ; at two she went to her 
 school for poor children, where she first gave a writing 
 lesson, and then read and explained the Bible to them 
 until four. For dinner she took only coffee and bread, as 
 this gave less trouble, and made her feel lighter for her 
 work. She then prepared for the next day's lessons, and 
 later in the evening probably visited some friend. On 
 Thursday the children came as early as half-past eight, 
 and when they were gone at noon, her elder girls met, 
 with whom she lunched, read and conversed, till three 
 o'clock. * These hours,' she writes to Minna Hosch, ' you 
 may regard as a time of complete recreation, though in- 
 deed I can hardly call the time spent with my little ones
 
 138 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIETEKING. 
 
 anything else, so easy and so dear is this occupation to 
 me. If I am once properly prepared, I do not see how 
 teaching can possibly fatigue me. The children's world is 
 my element, and I never feel happier than among them. 
 The preparation is certainly the hardest part of my 
 work, yet that too gives me much pleasure on the whole ; 
 and I should never find anything else but pleasure in it, 
 if I could quite throw off a certain indolence of mind and 
 dislike to trouble that comes over me at times. What 
 does tire me is looking over the children's exercises. 
 But if I were but a more faithful servant I should never 
 feel weary. If I ever find my strength insufficient, I can 
 always discover the cause in my own coldness and in- 
 difference. Just in so far as I honestly apply my powers 
 to the work that my Heavenly Father has given me, do 
 I receive strength and refreshment.' On Friday after- 
 noon she returned to the city, and assembled her chil- 
 dren from six to nearly eight in the evening, and again 
 on Saturday morning from half-past eleven to three. 
 
 On the choice of reading for them, she says, about this 
 time : 
 
 * No mental food satisfies me but the most simple, 
 which can be assimilated and converted into nourish- 
 ment without further artificial processes. Subtle specu- 
 lations are quite out of place.' 
 
 Soon afterwards she writes to Minna Hosch : 
 
 ' Must it not seem inconceivable to anyone who has 
 once had the slightest foretaste what the glory of heaven
 
 EXTRACTS FROM LETTERS. 139 
 
 may be, and so learnt to feel the smallness and poverty 
 of everything that is merely earthly, that all men do 
 not experience the same aspiration heavenwards ? Ah, 
 Minna, how my heart burns within me with the wish to 
 become, one day, all true and all holy ! ' 
 
 Again, some weeks later : 
 
 'The feeling of my own impotence draws me ever 
 closer to Him whose power manifests itself so mightily 
 in the weak. To His guidance I resign myself, with the 
 joyful confidence that He will perfect the work He has 
 begun in me, will raise again His poor stumbling child, 
 though it stumble a hundred times a day. . . . Some- 
 times I feel as though I must disclose all my heaped -up 
 burden of sin to others, that they may unite with me in 
 wonder at the riches of the Divine long-suffering. Dear 
 Minna, I am very happy.' 
 
 On the 27th of September she writes : 
 
 e l certainly am not one of those who would con- 
 demn all who believe differently from themselves ; I 
 went through too long and trying a course of doubts, in 
 my own case, ere that firm religious faith could form 
 itself in me which is now the very life of my life ; and 
 so clearly am I conscious that the grace of (rod alone 
 led me to it, that I cannot boast, I can only give thanks 
 for it. And lastly, I believe most firmly, that the 
 Eternal Love will sooner or later fetch back all those 
 who have gone astray from the Truth, and guide their 
 feet into* the right way. But no doubt, as long as two
 
 140 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 persons are still travelling on different paths in different 
 directions, they cannot attempt to walk hand in hand.' 
 Miss Sieveking found increasing refreshment in her 
 intercourse with those of her children who had been con- 
 firmed, and she strove to share with them whatever she 
 thought would promote and develope their mental life. 
 During the winter months, when she lived in the city, 
 they came to her on Saturday afternoons, and the hour 
 before tea was devoted to reading the Bible and religious 
 conversation; after taking tea in her room, they all 
 joined her aunt and spent the evening in reading aloud, 
 generally from the German poets, Klopstock's * Messiah ' 
 and others. Amelia also frequently read to them passages 
 from the letters of the brother whom she had lost, and 
 while this brought his image vividly before her mind, she 
 rejoiced in the close communion it gave her with his 
 thoughts, and in the possession of such a treasure of 
 affection in heaven. The two pupils who lived in her 
 house, Augusta and Clotilda, were already valuable 
 assistants to her in the instruction of the younger chil- 
 dren. Thus her work in life assumed daily a more 
 definite character, both towards the world without and 
 in her own mind. 
 
 She writes on the 4th of December to Minna Hosch: 
 
 ' That I am one of those who must be formed for 
 
 heaven by the discipline of self-denial, becomes daily 
 
 clearer to me, if indeed one may call that self-denial 
 
 for which one receives such rich compensation. * Doubt-
 
 EXTRACTS FROM LETTERS. 141 
 
 less it is sweet to be loved by a truly good man with his 
 whole beart, and to give one's self to him in return ; 
 I can understand this, and I am not unsusceptible to 
 the happiness of the wife and mother ; on the con- 
 trary, their joys seem to me among the sweetest 
 and highest on earth. Yet I know one happiness that 
 is higher still I mean that of being a Christian. 
 Is not to belong to Christ the best and highest 
 aim that any human being can strive to reach ? and 
 ought any outward relationship to hinder him in its 
 pursuit ? Yes, I believe myself clearly convinced that, 
 with my peculiar character and position, the single state 
 is a great aid to me in this pursuit : and at an earlier 
 period, when for awhile I surrendered myself to dreams 
 of the future, and pictured it full of domestic bliss, I 
 started back in alarm at the manifold hindrances to the 
 religious life which I thought I could detect in such a 
 career. In this point of view the thought that St. 
 Paul expresses, in 1 Cor. vii. 32, has long been very 
 dear to me. Oh that it may be so with me ! that I 
 may give my heart wholly to Him, whose love so far 
 transcends that of any human being ! ' 
 
 In a letter to her brother about this time, we meet 
 with a very characteristic expression of her opinion 
 about novels. She writes : 
 
 * Novels are neither a principal nor a very favourite 
 part of my reading ; on the contrary, I rarely take them 
 up, and when I do, I seldom find them much to my
 
 142 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEYEXING. 
 
 taste. These fictions, in which the author acts the 
 part of Providence, and entangles the threads of human 
 lives or severs the knot at his pleasure, appear to me 
 so poverty-stricken beside the simple, truthful, mani- 
 festations of the Divine Providence that we see in the 
 fate of nations, the lives of individuals, and especially 
 in the stories of Holy Writ. If the former touch me, 
 my emotion has always something painful, overstrained, 
 oppressive in it ; but if I am moved by any true narra- 
 tive in which I cannot fail to perceive the Finger of 
 Grod, I feel myself raised and drawn towards Him, more 
 open to the influence of His Holy Spirit. And if we 
 yield to them too much and too often, those emotions 
 which are artificially kindled by the imagination are 
 apt to close the heart, I think, against the wholesome 
 impressions of unadorned truth we learn to prefer a 
 mere dream to reality and this, to my mind, is the true 
 danger of much novel-reading.' 
 
 In this letter she opens her whole heart to her bro- 
 ther, and praises that leading of God's Providence which 
 has brought her to her present post. She again refers to 
 the secret apprehension which had seized her among her 
 former dreams of earthly happiness, that this path was, 
 after all, not the right one for her. She continues : - 
 
 ' See, it grieves me that He whose love is the most 
 faithful meets with the poorest return, and an ardent 
 desire burns within me to devote myself in faith 
 to Him alone, even though I Tear I may not attain to
 
 EXTRACTS FROM LETTERS. 143 
 
 keep wholly unbroken His covenant with my soul. 
 But surely that beautiful name which the Koman 
 Catholics bestow on their nuns brides of Heaven, 
 the betrothed of Christ expresses the most cheering 
 and most elevated view of a cloistered life ; and where 
 the reality answers to the name, there I think the king- 
 dom of Grod may be truly found within the quiet 
 convent walls. But our brethren err in limiting, to a 
 certain degree, that invisible and universal kingdom to 
 the narrow circle of a convent. The same Holy Spirit 
 reigns everywhere, and wherever a soul opens itself to 
 Him willingly and without reserve, He suffers it to 
 become the betrothed of the Lord, be its outward cir- 
 cumstances what they may. Nor do I believe that the 
 single state is in possession of a peculiar privilege 
 which might give it a claim to nearer union with 
 (rod. No ; I doubt not that among pious Christian 
 husbands and wives many a holy soul is devoted to its 
 Saviour with a pure and entire affection, and loves in 
 its earthly beloved the image of its heavenly Friend. . . . 
 With many, the natural love of the creature becomes 
 the stepping-stone to the love of the Creator ; with me 
 it was not so I first learnt to love the creature in the 
 Creator. I cannot say that any love was natural to me 
 except self-love, which was strong enough in my 
 heart. 0, Edward, how poor was my heart, how cold 
 and desolate, how filled with doubt and darkness, ere 
 He came and dispelled with His rays this mournful
 
 144 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKISG. 
 
 night of the soul ! Yes, He has saved me from death ; 
 He has granted me to feel that communion with Him 
 which is eternal life. Therefore to Him who hath done 
 such great things for me be thanks and praise for ever ! 
 . . . My heart is light and full of gladness ; this little 
 earthly life looks bright before me brighter yet the 
 heavenly life beyond it. Thither my path leads, and 
 it is not far.' 
 
 This serene and active faith could not, in the nature 
 of things, fail to manifest itself in Amelia's whole life, 
 actions, and conversation ; and while it won for her the 
 approval and increased confidence of some, to excite 
 the disapprobation and suspicion of others : thus there 
 were parents who doubted whether it were advisable to 
 leave their children's instruction in her hands, con- 
 sidering the more decided position she had now taken 
 up. At this time, too, many minds were greatly excited 
 by a dispute which had arisen in the French Calvinistic 
 Church at Hamburg ; the young, fiery, gifted preacher, 
 Merle d'Aubigne, whom the congregation had called 
 from Geneva, was preaching distinctively Christian doc- 
 trine with great zeal and earnestness, and thus aroused 
 opposition from the rationalistic party, to which in the 
 end he was obliged to yield. From his residence in her 
 Aunt Sieveking's house, Amelia had learnt to know and 
 esteem him, and naturally took up his cause with much 
 ardour. Many of her letters written about this time 
 are full of this subject. She defends him, as she does
 
 SOCIETY OF CHILDREN. 145 
 
 herself, from the unjust charge of religious enthusiasm 
 or pietistic morbidness, which is so often urged by the 
 ignorant as well as the conscious opponents of Chris- 
 tianity against the life of faith, and proceeds oftener, 
 perhaps, from misconception than from a wrong inten- 
 tion. Still, where Christ is formed in the heart and life 
 of any one, offences will surely come, and Amelia could 
 not wholly escape this conflict ; but she never sought it, 
 or thoughtlessly aroused it. 
 
 About this time she writes to Minna Hosch : 
 'Time-consuming visits, that are made only to get 
 them done, and leave the heart and mind alike empty, 
 I try more and more to avoid. My hours of solitude 
 are far too dear to me to be given away for nothing, 
 and less than nothing. But do not fear that I should 
 thus become gloomy and misanthropic. I assure you 
 that it is seldom that a gloomy thought passes through 
 my mind ; and though I certainly find less pleasure now 
 in mere aimless intercourse with others, yet my fellow- 
 creatures are not less dear to me nay, I enter their 
 circles with more affection and enjoyment when I have 
 spent a previous interval alone with my (rod. How 
 much does my dearly-loved circle of children, both 
 elder and younger, add to my .happiness ! I feel so 
 thoroughly and heartily at home among them. And 
 their society seems to me the best protection against 
 a too predominant seriousness, which I would avoid, not 
 for my own sake for I find it very good for me but 
 
 L
 
 146 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 for the sake of others who are easily repelled by too strict 
 an outward appearance. I can still be heartily amused 
 by children's fun, and take an active part in it myself.' 
 
 Her brother and sister had consulted her on the kind 
 of religious instruction which should be given to little 
 children, and she answers : 
 
 ' In general, whatever is strictly systematic in re- 
 ligious instruction I do not like for children. I think 
 the living spirit is very apt to die out in hard and 
 narrowing forms. For the rest, I would advise you to 
 give your little one as much of the heavenly manna as 
 it desires. When in an unspoilt child the love of higher 
 things is once awakened, its own desire for further know- 
 ledge furnishes, in my opinion, a tolerably correct standard 
 of its wants. Least of all need you fear that a ready 
 satisfaction of its desire should lead to satiety, and blunt 
 the keenness of the religious feeling. No ; that blessed 
 hunger and thirst after righteousness (after moral per- 
 fection, of which faith is at once the foundation and the 
 summit,) only gathers fresh strength from its gratifi- 
 cation. Earthly desire drives us restlessly from one 
 object to another, because it ever seeks and never finds ; 
 heavenly desire finds, and finds full satisfaction ; but 
 amidst the fullness of pure enjoyment, there is disclosed 
 to its view other and yet deeper good, and it drinks 
 afresh and yet never exhausts, for the source from 
 which it receives grace for grace is of unfathomable 
 depth. Happy the child that is early led to this source !
 
 RELIGIOUS EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. 147 
 
 Like all other life, the child's life also is raised and 
 glorified by faith. And let no one tell me that the 
 objects of faith are too high and too far off for the 
 child. Ah ! no ; it is not our ignorance but our wicked- 
 ness that separates us from God ; and in so far as the 
 childish mind is yet freer from sin, in so far the Highest 
 lies nearer to it and is embraced by it with a warmer 
 love, than in the case of wiser people who hold a 
 demonstration of the faith for the faith itself. The 
 germ of faith is latent in every child's soul, but beside 
 it lies the poisonous seed of sin. Is it not senseless to 
 suffer a field which is meant to bear one day a noble 
 crop, to be overgrown first with every kind of weed ? 
 Yet such is the course of parents who allow self-will 
 and evil desires to strike firm root, before they think of 
 implanting the seed of the word of God. 
 
 ' But besides the child's- own wish, the greater or lesser 
 power of the awakening evil principle also gives a 
 measure of its wants. If this principle shows itself 
 early and strong as selfishness, for instance the con- 
 trary principle of faith must be the more heedfully roused 
 and cherished. When nature is once tamed, and grace 
 has become mighty, this same energy which at first 
 served the poor miserable Self will turn to a noble pur- 
 pose, lay hold on God and Christ, and take the kingdom 
 of heaven by storm. But I should like to see how those 
 wise pedagogues who expunge entirely the old-fashioned 
 faith in Christ from their theories of instruction, can 
 
 L 2
 
 148 LIFE OF AMELIA WILTTELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 master that root-evil of human nature selfishness. 
 Probably they may be able to clothe self-love in a 
 decent mantle, so that it may appear with decorum in 
 society, but they will have to give up the hope of trans- 
 forming its very nature. My deepest conviction is, that 
 all education which has not for its primary object that 
 faith .should become the very life of its life to a child, is 
 but a miserable patchwork and makeshift. 
 
 ' But as the body is nourished only by that which can 
 be taken up into its flesh and blood, so the spirit, too, 
 only grows by that which it inwardly assimilates. A 
 mere reception by the memory is far from being enough, 
 the noblest and deepest powers of the soul are needed 
 here. These powers are, to a great extent at least, 
 still slumbering in the child's soul, and thus do not 
 show themselves actively. Before 'giving the child a 
 creed, therefore, you must awaken the faculties which 
 are to receive it. Even then you will find much that 
 will remain foreign to the child's soul, as yet un- 
 tried by temptation, however you may try to render 
 it comprehensible to him. There are mysteries in 
 Christianity unfathomable even to the sharpest under- 
 standing and the most believing heart, but these may 
 gaze into them without growing dizzy ; they recognise 
 in such depths the riches of the knowledge and wisdom 
 of God, and burn with desire to be led farther into 
 them by the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Truth and 
 love. But the child's weak eyes could hardly gaze
 
 RELIGIOUS EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. 149 
 
 into these abysses without a sort of frightened awe, 
 which might easily estrange it from the true, divinely 
 serene and cheerful spirit of faith. Whoever leaves 
 all this unconsidered, and presses on the child's mind 
 a number of religious doctrines, without reflecting 
 whether they can form part of the child's thoughts 
 and life, whether they can be assimilated, will almost 
 inevitably find that he has called up disgust and 
 weariness when he meant to awaken a love for holy 
 things. Does not Scripture itself teach us to treat 
 the weak as weak, and give milk to babes ? This ana- 
 logy between physical and spiritual food holds good, 
 to my mind, in yet another point. With young 
 children it is thought better to give them food often 
 and in small quantities, rather than seldom and much ; 
 and the same caution should be observed in their 
 spiritual instruction. They should not be wearied by 
 long lectures, which accustom them to listen to holy 
 things with but half attention. To lead their minds 
 frequently, if but with a word, to the one thing need- 
 ful, is, I think, the best mode of teaching a child to 
 feel that, which is the central point of every Christian 
 heart, to be the most important concern of its own 
 life. . . . Bible stories, told in the spirit, and, as nearly 
 as possible, in the words of the Bible, are, I think, 
 the best means of arresting the attention of quite young 
 children. No one who has not tried it would believe 
 how exactly these childlike narratives from the pri-
 
 150 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 meval world, these mighty revelations of the wonder- 
 working God, these divine traits from the life of the 
 Son of God and Man, are fitted to the uncorrupted 
 childish mind. Of course, a practical application must 
 not be lacking. Next to these, I think good hymns 
 are most adapted to awaken the religious feelings of 
 the child.'
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 1822-1823. 
 
 PUBLICATION OF HER FIRST BOOK ON ENTHUSIASM 
 
 CONSEQUENCES OF PUBLICITY, AND REFLECTIONS UPON IT 
 
 DEATH OF MADAME W. VISIT OF HER SISTER-IN-LAW 
 
 FROM ENGLAND THE COMMUNION OF SAINTS. 
 
 IN this same letter of the 21st of March, Amelia 
 informs her brother of something which had long 
 been occupying her thoughts. She says : 
 
 ' Now I must tell you something which I doubt not 
 will astonish you not a little. What will you think 
 of your sister allowing herself to appear in print? 
 Believe me, I have felt all the causes for hesitation 
 involved in such a step, and have asked the advice 
 of an intelligent and thoroughly honest man. Pastor 
 Miitzenbecher has carefully examined my work, and in 
 his simple cordial manner has warmly encouraged me 
 to publish it. And now I think I may venture to 
 follow his counsel without fear ; for see, dear Edward, 
 both when I put this question to him, and afterwards, 
 I earnestly prayed that God would reveal to me, 
 through the lips of His faithful servant, whether my
 
 152 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 undertaking was pleasing to Him or not, and I felt 
 an inward certainty that I was heard. Before I opened 
 M.'s answer, I again proved my own heart, and found 
 that it could acquiesce in the Divine will in whichever 
 direction it might be manifested. This peace before 
 the decision makes me now feel tranquil and cheerful 
 after it. Not that I will affirm that I feel myself 
 utterly single-minded in every respect, or secure against 
 all danger of wish for praise; but I hope with con- 
 fidence for the purifying grace of God, and that since 
 I am conscious that I have not entered this path from 
 mere inclination, but am really, to the best of my con- 
 viction, following the voice of my God, He will guide 
 and uphold me in it, and not suffer me to be quite 
 overcome by its dangers. . . . The title of my little 
 work is * Meditations on Certain Passages of the Holy 
 Scriptures.' These Meditations are not spread over a 
 whole passage at once, nor attached to single verses 
 taken separately from each other, but they form a run- 
 ning commentary on each verse of a passage complete 
 in itself. This method was suggested to me by the 
 great Francke's excellent Essay on the best manner 
 of reading the Holy Scriptures, prefixed to the Halle 
 edition of the Bible, in which all Christians are recom- 
 mended to follow this plan of accompanying each verse 
 
 with prayer and meditation And now, I have 
 
 nothing more to add on this subject than the entreaty 
 that you will not expect too much from my work. If
 
 ON ENTHUSIASM IN RELIGION. 153 
 
 I were to say that I did not think it good myself, I 
 should not keep to the strict truth ; but it is not the 
 less possible that you may not find anything in it to 
 suit you. Do not forget that it is intended primarily 
 for beginners in the faith for those who still need a 
 guide in their reading of the Bible. To such, I think, 
 my little book may probably be of some use. But to 
 those who understand how to draw for themselves from 
 the depths of Holy Writ, all that I have written may 
 appear very superfluous.' 
 
 We shall return at a later period to Amelia's books, 
 the origin and objects of which she herself describes in 
 her letters, and here give only a few extracts in which 
 she refutes various misconceptions of her meaning and 
 aim. Thus she writes to her brother : 
 
 ' I am no fonder of romantic enthusiasm than you 
 are ; the question is, what are we to include under the 
 term? It is so vague in itself, and is used for such 
 different things, that the first thing in speaking of it 
 always should be to come to an understanding on this 
 point. I see romantic enthusiasm in those cases where 
 feeling alone is called into play, to the exclusion of the 
 other faculties of the mind ; where the person dallies 
 with mere vague emotions, instead of bidding them 
 pass into action instead of giving them a practical 
 influence on both our deeds and omissions. I have 
 brought my faith to this touchstone, and think I have 
 a right to say that the reproach of enthusiasm does not
 
 154 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 apply to it. Whatever power and energy for good I 
 possess, I owe to my faith ; and if, unhappily, my life 
 is but barren in good deeds, this must be ascribed, not 
 to the deficiencies of my religious belief, but rather to 
 my want of faithfulness in living up to it. An idle 
 self-surrender to vague emotion is not naturally a 
 temptation to me, as there is no doubt that in my 
 disposition the understanding is predominant over feel- 
 ing and imagination. And I am still further secured 
 against this danger by the instruction I give my little 
 ones. I start from the conviction that religion does 
 not address itself to one faculty, but to the whole 
 nature of man; that a judicious cultivation of the 
 understanding is a help, not a hindrance, to -faith ; 
 that without a certain clearness of conception, no 
 true, deep, powerful feeling is possible; and that we 
 must not first try to excite this feeling in order to 
 build upon it, but must leave it to develope itself as 
 the necessary consequence of a living knowledge. 
 Guided by these principles, my great endeavour is to 
 open my children's minds to understand the Bible, 
 and to penetrate them with its holy truths, confidently 
 hoping that the rest will spontaneously unfold itself 
 in their souls afterwards. And where I sometimes 
 perceive with joy the signs of real emotion, I scarcely 
 show that I have observed it, lest they should fancy 
 that feeling alone had something meritorious in 
 itself.'
 
 CONSEQUENCES OF PUBLICATION. 155 
 
 Writing to Minna Hosch of a young girl who had 
 altered much to her advantage, she says : 
 
 * And what is it that has done away with those dis- 
 torted views and feelings that a misdirected education 
 had implanted ? What is it that has awakened in her 
 an earnest endeavour, not to be always chattering about 
 her faults and her duties, as she used to do, but to over- 
 come the one and fulfil the other ? What else than that 
 living faith in Christ, without which no new birth is 
 possible for man ? And the chief instrument whom God 
 employed for this purpose was our excellent Merle 
 D'Aubigne, whom the unbelievers have now driven 
 away on the pretext that he was so taken up with 
 preaching faith, that he forgot good works. That is 
 the unfortunate mistake of our day : faithful Christians 
 are accused of undervaluing good works in general, 
 whereas they do but reject such as spring from self- 
 love rather than love to (rod, the only motive which 
 can lend any value to human actions.' 
 
 Amelia's book was read in many circles, and met 
 with very different receptions ; and at a later period she 
 tells her pupils : 
 
 ' Although the book came out anonymously, the 
 name of the author was soon whispered about, and I 
 was obliged to bear consequences that I had not fore- 
 seen. It opened the eyes of many parents for the 
 first time to my supposed mysticism ; and though most 
 of them allowed their children to remain with me until
 
 156 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 their confirmation, hoping after that soon to see them 
 forsake my serious errors, yet they withdrew them 
 from me when it was over ; and in none of my classes 
 have I gone through so many unpleasant experiences as 
 in that One young girl even declared to me afterwards, 
 in writing, that she renounced my errors ; she was one 
 of those who had made least progress, and I never heard 
 any more of her. On the other hand, this class pro- 
 duced my dear Caroline Fliedner. In my first set, all my 
 children had gradually and almost unconsciously come 
 to a true faith in Christ ; in my second, a more marked 
 distinction made itself felt. Such were the external 
 results of the publication of my work ; but for myself I 
 dreaded far more its internal consequences the possible 
 injury to my soul ; but the Lord saved me from this 
 danger, as with much praise I also received much 
 censure : and I soon learnt to look on the book as some- 
 thing no longer belonging to myself, something foreign 
 to me, which had ceased to be a special concern of 
 mine.' 
 
 To Minna Hosch she writes : 
 
 * Though I have many a battle with spiritual pride, I 
 do not regret the step I have taken. It may cost me 
 some labour and struggle, but at last I trust to come 
 out victorious, to attain true and complete humility, 
 to learn to look wholly away from myself, and see only 
 the work of divine grace in the little I am able to do 
 for the kingdom of God. Some Christian souls have
 
 DEATH OF MADAME W. 157 
 
 approached me more closely than before ; and ah ! if 
 but vanity can be held aloof, what a wonderful help in 
 one's inner progress is the communion of saints ! ' 
 
 And again : 
 
 1 That my little book from time to time brings me 
 into contact with other kindred hearts is the sweetest 
 blessing that it has conferred on me. On all sides I 
 see nought but blessing from above ! Would that I 
 could offer worthier thanks ! ' 
 
 f For some time past,' she writes again, * I have 
 become a member of a society for distributing short 
 religious treatises among the poor. They are dis- 
 tributed gratuitously, and are meant to make the most 
 ignorant acquainted with the great truths of Chris- 
 tianity, which are here exhibited in the simplest 
 language. But do not speak of this, as there has 
 been much foolish gossip about it.' 
 
 About this time death had once more made a breach 
 in Amelia's home circle. Madame W., the mother of her 
 first pupil, and sister of Madame Briinnemann, who lived 
 with them in the winter, had at last departed, most 
 peacefully, after a long period of ill-health, and those 
 who were left felt themselves the more drawn to each 
 other. In April 1824, Amelia's sister-in-law came to 
 Hamburg with her eldest boy, and Amelia accompanied 
 her to Lubeck, where she made the acquaintance of 
 Pastor Greibel and others, whose society gave her much 
 pleasure. Her brother fetched his wife home in May, 
 and Amelia greatly enjoyed his flying visit.
 
 158 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 In May she writes to Minna Hosch about these 
 visits : 
 
 1 Christian fellowship is in truth a very precious thing ; 
 it needs but few words ; and when we had been together 
 but an hour, we felt more sure of each other, I believe, 
 than worldly hearts can ever feel, if their relation had 
 lasted as many years as ours did minutes. If I only 
 know of anyone how he stands towards Christ, I know 
 also how he will stand towards me.' 
 
 And soon afterwards : 
 
 s I spent Whit-Sun4ay not quite as I could wish, in 
 company whose tone was not congenial to me on that 
 day. But in such cases I often think of a beautiful 
 saying of Pastor Greibel's to me that last morning, " We 
 go abroad and take pains to find nourishment for the 
 inward man, and do not reflect that it is to be found 
 most abundantly where we are most obliged to deny 
 ourselves."
 
 159 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 1823. 
 
 FIRST CONCEPTION OF A PROTESTANT ORDER OF SISTERS 
 
 OF MERCY CONVERSATION WITH PROFESSOR HARTMANN, 
 
 AND LETTERS TO HIM AND TO HER BROTHER ON THIS 
 SUBJECT. 
 
 AMID these various experiences and labours, and all 
 this rapid growth of mind and heart, one thought 
 was ripening in Amelia's soul that had occupied 
 her as early as her eighteenth year. We will here 
 prefix what she imparted to her pupils at a later period 
 concerning the outward and inward impressions which, 
 as time went on, gave this thought its more definite 
 shape. She said : 
 
 *It may have been about the year 1818 that I first 
 began to reflect on the true destiny of woman, and that 
 my own inward vocation began to grow clear to me. 
 Campe's book, " A Father's Advice to his Daughters," 
 made a great impression on me at that time, and was 
 of essential service to me, though I did not find out 
 what it had done for me until later years. Marriage 
 was there represented as the only proper destiny for a
 
 160 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 girl, and something within me secretly protested against 
 this view. In novels, too, with very rare exceptions, I 
 found marriage held up as the highest happiness. In one 
 of these books, certainly, the self-sacrifice of a girl was 
 pourtrayed, who gave up her own wishes in favour of a 
 sister ; but as she afterwards took up her residence with 
 the married pair, her sacrifice seemed less great and 
 disinterested. In one other, the possibility of happiness 
 apart from marriage was advocated. To me, however, 
 it constantly grew clearer that our bounteous God could 
 not have given His blessing to one state of life alone, 
 but must have a blessing for each, even for that so des- 
 pised class of old maids. But when I looked round on this 
 class, such as it then was, I must own I understood why it 
 was often a theme for ridicule ; yet for this very reason 
 I felt the stronger impulse to do something towards 
 raising it in the general esteem. I learnt to know that 
 there is, in truth, an inward calling to it ; and you will, I 
 am sure, understand what I mean when I speak of this 
 to you. 
 
 * Certainly, the individual old maids whom I knew at 
 that time were not calculated to inspire me with much 
 preference or respect for a single life. There was old Miss 
 A., who, though very poor, would have everything 
 a quatres epingles ; she kept no servant, and spent 
 nearly all her day in the preparation of her own little 
 meals, which seemed to me a great and by no means 
 enviable waste of time. Miss W. was a great talker,
 
 IDEAL OF A SISTERHOOD. 161 
 
 but cared for no subject in which she herself was not 
 concerned, and represented everything that happened 
 to her, even the most trivial circumstance, as something 
 wonderful and extraordinary. Two others, who lived 
 with an old lady of rank, appeared to be merely the 
 echo of all her opinions. One indeed I knew who spent 
 her life in a more useful manner. Miss I. did much 
 good, and founded at a later period a sort of free school 
 for girls who were going into service ; but she was one of 
 a thousand. 
 
 * Now about this time I read a little French book, in 
 which there was much said of the Sisters of Charity 
 among the Eoman Catholics, and it awakened in me a 
 strong desire to found such a sisterhood in the Protest- 
 ant Church. From my adopted mother I heard that 
 she, too, in heryouth had been much occupied with similar 
 thoughts on the employment of young women, and she 
 gave me a paper to read which she had once written on 
 the subject. It described the efforts of a young girl who, 
 feeling herself in want of employment, sought and 
 found the opportunity of doing much good through a 
 neighbouring parsonage. Soon afterwards I made the 
 acquaintance of Professor Hartmann a man of highly 
 cultivated mind and very ardent disposition. At our 
 very first meeting, when he took me into dinner, he 
 advised me to enlarge my sphere of action ; and when I, 
 misunderstanding him, referred what he said to my 
 school, he added that I must found a charitable 
 
 H
 
 162 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 sisterhood. This was the word I wanted, and it made 
 a wonderful impression on me that a perfect stranger 
 should thus have uttered my most secret thoughts ; it 
 seemed to give them a more definite form and life.' 
 
 And this idea was no mere play of the imagination, 
 the pastime of idle hours, or the dream of an ambitious 
 heart longiug to do some great and surprising thing : 
 some of this there might have been at first, in her very 
 young days ; but what now filled her whole soul with 
 earnest, burning zeal, we must acknowledge to have 
 been a calling and commission from above. He who 
 receives such must follow it, and woe unto him if 
 he do not ! In him the sacred flame once kindled 
 becomes the consuming fire. 
 
 She writes to Professor Hartmann immediately after 
 this first conversation : 
 
 April 19, 1823. 
 
 ' I cannot tell you, my dear Sir, with what joyful 
 surprise I received the earnest admonition you gave 
 me last Sunday. The spark you threw into my soul has 
 kindled to a flame thoughts and wishes that have long 
 been silently smouldering there. Yes, ever since my 
 eighteenth year, the foundation of an Order of Sisters of 
 Mercy in the Protestant Church has hovered before my 
 mind as the most beautiful ideal of my life, towards 
 which I have been impelled with sometimes more, 
 sometimes less, of eager longing. More than once the 
 noble conception of what it might become has risen
 
 LETTER TO HARTMA.NN. 163 
 
 before me with such startling vividness that, lost in con- 
 templation, I have forgotten my sleep : then again, I 
 own, there have been long periods when it has been 
 kept in the background by the thronging affairs of the 
 present moment; but it has never been wholly obscured, 
 nothing could expel it from the inmost sanctuary of my 
 soul. I seldom spoke of my thought, and when I did, 
 it was stared at for a moment as the work of an excited 
 imagination, which might furnish the amusement of a 
 few minutes, but was good for nothing more. And 
 yet I am so deeply conscious that it is more ; that it is 
 not the product of my imagination only, but of my 
 whole mind and heart ; that it cannot delude me, for 
 its origin is of heaven, not of earth. Now you can 
 picture to yourself how indescribably grateful your 
 words were to me. You were the first, who not merely 
 could appreciate the object of my aspirations, but 
 yourself spontaneously urged it on my attention. And 
 what unusual pleasure it gave me to find in the course 
 of our conversation that your ideas of the whole matter 
 had sprung up and unfolded themselves in almost 
 exactly the same manner as my own ! Your last words 
 to me were to bid me not lose sight of the project. I 
 will indeed keep it in mind. On this point I think no 
 instability of purpose need be feared from me : what 
 has become part of my mind itself I cannot so easily 
 let go again. But I confess,, that for the present I 
 have nothing to give beyond this assurance ; but I trust 
 
 M 2
 
 164 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKING. 
 
 you will be satisfied with this for a time ; do not urge me 
 to put my hand to the work at present. Believe me, the 
 natural vivacity and impatience of my character inclines 
 me in all my undertakings to over-haste. If, therefore, 
 I am in no hurry to carry into execution the dearest of 
 my schemes, the delay arises only from a most vivid 
 conviction of its necessity, founded on my knowledge of 
 myself. A good work requires a fitting instrument, 
 and that I am not as yet. You said lately, and doubt- 
 less with deep truth, that only a certain sacred fire of en- 
 thusiasm could successfully carry out such an undertak- 
 ing. Now there glows indeed in me something to which I 
 could fain give this name, but the pure flame from heaven 
 is as yet mingled with earthly fire, the love of (rod with 
 the evil, evil love of self. Ah no ! how should I be as 
 yet fit to lead, who have not learnt to obey? How 
 should I, in whom there is yet so much harshness, so 
 much untamed self-will, so strong a spirit of contradic- 
 tion, dare to take up a work that requires so much 
 humility, self-renunciation, disinterested love? No, 
 believe me, it would be laying profane hands on holy 
 things if I were to begin as I am now : and you cannot 
 and ought not to contradict me on this point, as you 
 cannot know me as well as I know myself. 
 
 * But what I put aside for the moment I do not 
 renounce for ever, no, it remains my dearest hope that 
 one day I may venture with confidence to say, it is 
 permitted! And why should I not hope? Through
 
 LETTER TO HARTMANN. 165 
 
 the grace of God I am what I am ; wherefore should 
 it not accomplish yet greater wonders in me ? The 
 whole of our Christian life is a constant growth. If the 
 Holy Spirit has suffered the lovely dawn of faith to 
 break upon the dark night of doubt within me, if 
 He has been able to kindle any spark of love to God in 
 a heart grown so cold and rigid in self-love, where- 
 fore should He not be able to strengthen this faith and 
 love, to give more light and warmth ? Listen I will 
 look on these next coming years of my life as a school 
 in which I am training for my future calling. Some- 
 thing higher than human art and science must be learnt 
 here ; but my Master is higher than the wisest of the 
 wise on earth. Oh that He may but find in me a 
 teachable disciple ! Now, at this moment, my heart 
 does indeed vow to Him complete, willing submission ; 
 but how will it be the next hour ? I may well fear my 
 own weakness; but my fear is still outweighed by my 
 trust in the might of Divine love, which has placed my 
 goal before me in such a radiant light that it seems 
 impossible that I should wholly miss my way. 
 
 ' But if I am tempted to think the way too long if 
 my impatience longs to see the time of probation 
 shortened then I will think of my Saviour, who did 
 not deem it unworthy of Him to live thirty years 
 unknown in silent obscurity, ere He entered on His 
 divine office of Teacher and Mediator. There seems to 
 me a deep lesson here for all those who press forward
 
 166 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 with vain and restless endeavour to accomplish some 
 great deed, beforethe true power has matured itself with- 
 in, or the proper time and hour has arrived. All eager 
 anxious restlessness is alien, as I believe, to the activity 
 of the truly godly man. Such an one waits in silence for 
 a token from his Lord : he will not raise a finger but 
 at His bidding ; when He calls him he is ready, and 
 quietly sets himself to the appointed daily task ; his 
 work is noiseless and yet mighty, for it is done in the 
 power of the Lord. So let me calmly await the 
 summons of my God. It will be granted me, I doubt 
 not, when I myself have become what I ought to be ; 
 when my nature has been purified from the dross of self- 
 love ; when my faith has become stronger, my love for 
 the brethren more self-forgetful, my humility deeper 
 and truer ; when I have learnt thoroughly with my 
 whole heart to yield my own will to God's will ; then, 
 then I may hope that my heavenly Father will satisfy 
 the longing of His child's soul, the longing that He 
 Himself has awakened there. Then Oh how my heart 
 bounds with joy at this prospect! then He will 
 place me in the sphere I desire, be it by suffering my 
 outward circumstances to assume another shape, be it 
 by giving me an inward certainty that I am permitted 
 to leave my present position for the sake of my higher 
 vocation. Thus do I picture to myself the plan of my 
 God : but it may be that I am mistaken ; it may be that 
 my thoughts in this matter are not His thoughts ; it
 
 LETTER TO HART5LLNN. 167 
 
 may be that I am not destined to reach the goal of my 
 endeavours in this span of Time ; it may be that He will 
 call me home from the scene of all earthly labours ere 
 I have begun the part which I have believed myself 
 intended to fill. Well, my work seems fair to me and lies 
 very close to my heart, but to go home to our Father is 
 sweeter still, and He who calls me will know how to 
 loosen all earthly ties so as to give me a joyful depar- 
 ture, like that granted to my early-lost Gustavus, who in 
 the beginning of a splendid career, just opening on him 
 with the brightest prospects, and amid the full con- 
 sciousness of youthful vigour, yet found in the solemn 
 hour of death that he could turn away his eyes 
 from all these little earthly schemes, because the 
 glories of heaven were already dawning on his inner 
 vision. The Lord's will be done, whether for life or 
 death, whether in the accomplishment or disappoint- 
 ment of my plans ! If the success I hope for does not 
 crown my efforts, still they will not have been wholly 
 unblessed ; and our merciful God regards even an un- 
 fulfilled purpose with favour. For the rest, this 
 reference to death is no definite presentiment on my 
 part, but the contingency lies so close at hand at all 
 times, that I do not see how one can make any 
 plans of importance without including it in one's calcu- 
 lations. But if it should really come to pass that my 
 life-journey should find an early close before my 
 project is ripe for execution, then, dear Professor, in
 
 168 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 case you survive me, I leave the care of this great work 
 as a precious legacy to you. Do not think it is frus- 
 trated because the great Master has broken an instru- 
 ment which He had found unserviceable. He possesses 
 others and better ones; it is only necessary to seek them 
 out and set them to work. I will make an arrange- 
 ment that, in case of my death, my little property, 
 which amounts to about 18,000 * marks, shall be devoted 
 wholly or for the most part to the object which was 
 the most sacred in life to me. Then do you look 
 around among my sisters to find one who has strength 
 and" will and love enough in her, to build upon the 
 foundation I have laid. 
 
 'Most precious, dear friend, is the Communion 
 of Saints; without it, whence could I have drawn 
 courage to speak out so freely to you, whom personally 
 I scarcely know ? But since I know that one thing of 
 you, that you are a true disciple of the same loving 
 Master to whom I also would so fain do some good 
 service, I know not why I should be timid and reserved 
 towards you ; I can be sure that you will not misunder- 
 stand me, or make any wrong use of my frankness. 
 However different our paths may be, our goal is the 
 same, and the same our Leader thitherwards. 
 
 * I do not expect any answer to this letter, or at most 
 only two lines to acknowledge its receipt. It does not 
 need more ; and I know you are so overwhelmed with 
 
 * About 1.050/.
 
 LETTEE TO HER BROTHER. 169 
 
 business that every unnecessary demand on your time 
 is a sort of robbery of your wife and children. But if you 
 do answer me, I trust I may rely on your doing so in that 
 spirit of Christian earnestness which abstains from all 
 exaggerated praise, because it knows what a dangerous 
 pitfall lies hidden there for the weakness of its brother. 
 Do not forget that too flattering a confidence in me, which 
 at present at any rate I do not deserve, may easily 
 strengthen the worst enemy of our good cause in my 
 heart self-love. If only this letter may not deceive you, 
 may not lead you to think me more penetrated and glow- 
 ing with sacred ardour than I truly am ! Eemember that 
 I have written it in tranquil solitude, where other 
 passions have no sway ; there my heart may indeed be 
 filled with the thought of the one thing needful : but 
 when I return to the world, how easily is it divided and 
 drawn away by the manifold interests around me!' 
 
 A letter to her brother in October 1823 treats of the 
 same subject, and for the first time lays before him 
 what had been so long cherished in the writer's most 
 secret thoughts. The most important passages are 
 those which follow : 
 
 t Do not treat my beautiful ideal as the offspring of 
 mere fancy, born one hour to be forgotten the next, and 
 never destined to be realised in actual life. Fancy was 
 never a ruling faculty with me, and I know most deeply 
 that this idea belongs to my highest self, and is rooted 
 in my inmost heart. And could a mere fancy last ten
 
 170 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKINa. 
 
 years ? Yes, it is as long as that ever since I was 
 eighteen that this scheme has hovered before my mind's 
 eye, sometimes with such distinctness as to rob me of 
 my nightly rest, sometimes indeed for weeks or months 
 thrown into the background by more pressing interests, 
 but never forgotten.' . . . She now speaks of her 
 former day-dreams of possible happiness in love and 
 marriage, and the inward voice that always combated 
 them at the time, and then narrates her meeting and 
 conversation with Professor Hartmann, adding 
 
 ' These startling words flashed through me like an 
 electric shock. I felt as one who, awakening from a 
 dream of happiness, finds it suddenly standing before him 
 in very deed as a reality. Not that my beloved ideal 
 had ever seemed to me a dream no, I had always 
 believed with more or less confidence that it must one 
 day step forth into real life, but that this very hour 
 seemed to me at last to have come. Hartmann's words 
 were like a sign from heaven to me saying, " Now hast 
 thou authority from above to put thy hand to the 
 work." . . . Since then I have passed many hours of 
 great enjoyment with my newly- won friend and his 
 wife. At times we get upon my favourite scheme, 
 but not often, and when we do I generally soon break 
 off the subject myself, lest my longing should over- 
 power me before the time. For, alas! I feel very 
 clearly that the time for beginning the execution of my 
 project is not yet come. And when will it come? I
 
 LETTER TO HER BROTHER. 171 
 
 hear you ask. I know not ; for this I must await some 
 clearer sign from my Grod. And is it allowable for you 
 to think of it at all, you perhaps ask further, so long as 
 your good Mother lives ? I have weighed this question 
 much and anxiously, and I think I may answer with 
 a good conscience yes, I may think of it. Do you 
 blame the priest who leaves his aged mother to obey 
 the call of some distant congregation ? Do you 
 condemn the daughter who forsakes her parents' house, 
 though she may be an only child, to unite herself to the 
 man whom she loves, and who may perhaps carry her 
 to a distant country ? If not, then I think you have 
 said what justifies me. Or would you prove to me 
 that the vocation which floats before my mind is less 
 holy, less beautiful, than that of the priest or the wife ? 
 No, you will scarcely succeed if you attempt this : it 
 stands before me in too noble and solemn an aspect. 
 Or should I never be permitted to think of the highest 
 object of my life apart from the death of my beloved 
 Mother ? Must its attainment be possible to me only 
 when that heart shall have ceased to beat, which of all 
 human hearts beats most tenderly for me now ? Have I 
 not her blessing on my undertaking, a blessing not wrung 
 from her by importunate entreaty on my part it was 
 only that I neither was able nor willing to hide from her 
 my secret desire, and her truly maternal love prizes her 
 child's happiness above her own. But what convinces 
 me that I am justified in accepting such a sacrifice from
 
 172 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 her is, above all, the certainty that in this matter I am 
 not following the will of flesh and blood, but rather a 
 call of the Holy Spirit. For my natural man this 
 project has in truth few charms ; nay, deeply as I long 
 for its fulfilment at times, I will not conceal from you 
 that I have hours of weakness, in which the contempla- 
 tion of the many sacrifices and renunciations that it 
 must entail fills me with such dread that I am tempted 
 to cry like Moses, at his first call, " Lord, send whom 
 Thou wilt, only not me." But then if I try to put the 
 whole matter out of my mind, the same happens to 
 me as of old to the prophet Jeremiah. The word of 
 the Lord had become a derision and reproach to him 
 daily ; then he said (Jer. xx. 9), " I will not make 
 mention of the Lord nor speak any more in His name ; 
 but His word was in my Keart as a burning fire shut up 
 in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I 
 could not stay." 
 
 * But as yet I feel myself an unworthy instrument, 
 not ripe for the carrying out of my beautiful scheme. 
 How much is yet wanting in me ! How much hardness 
 how much pride, which dreams that it can command 
 ere it has learnt to obey how much more or less dis- 
 guised self-love ! And should I, as I am now, dare to 
 lay hands on a work that requires so much love, so 
 much self-renunciation, so much humility ? No, never ; 
 I should profane the Holy Place. At times I fancy 
 that things would go better if I first entered some con-
 
 LETTER TO HER BROTHER. 173 
 
 secrated community, if I might but withdraw completely 
 
 from that world which lays so many snares for my 
 
 weak heart. But I soon perceive the vain delusion of 
 
 this notion perceive that it must be possible to attain 
 
 holiness in the world as well as out of it, and that there 
 
 is something suspicious in the holiness which will not 
 
 stand this test. So long as I am not a Sister of Mercy 
 
 outside a community, how should I be fit to found such 
 
 a community? . . . But when again I reflect how 
 
 much the Divine grace has already wrought in me, and 
 
 how it is doubtless a greater thing to awaken the first 
 
 sparks of life in one wholly dead than to strengthen 
 
 the vital energy where it once exists, and how the 
 
 Christian life is always a process of growth, and most 
 
 precious on this very account then I can hope once 
 
 more, and accept with joyful confidence the desire 
 
 which the Lord has already awakened in my heart as a 
 
 pledge of what His future purpose for me may be.' 
 
 She then developes her ideas of the shape that such a 
 
 body might possibly assume in the Protestant Church, 
 
 and of the higher degree of freedom required in it, by 
 
 virtue of which the life-long vows, for instance, must 
 
 disappear ; weighs the difficulties to be encountered, 
 
 and continues : ' It is a joyful belief to me that the hour 
 
 is no longer far distant when our Lord will adorn His 
 
 Protestant Church also with such a communion of 
 
 charity instituted in His name. If it does not sound 
 
 arrogant in my mouth to speak of signs of the times,
 
 174 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 I would say that much seems to me to point in this 
 direction. It can scarcely be denied that for the last 
 ten years there has been a movement and an ardour in 
 the kingdom of Grod such as had not been seen for a 
 long period. I do not indeed overlook the vehemence 
 of the opposition which it has called forth in the kingdom 
 of darkness. But is not everything gained if that Divine 
 life has been once awakened to activity ? Must it not 
 at last win the victory over the deadness of this world ? 
 But will it manifest itself only in words ? Does it not 
 urge incessantly to deeds ? Yes, the kingdom of God 
 is not in word only, but in power. . . . And is not this 
 period, then, especially adapted to develope in our 
 Church also that heavenly blossom which in Catholic 
 Christendom, where there is on other sides so much 
 mouldering decay and corruption, yet diffuses around 
 the quickening odours of eternal life a blossom so 
 lovely, that even those who are not Christians may find 
 refreshment to their souls in its contemplation, although 
 its origin must remain inexplicable to them, since it has 
 sprung from no common earthly seed, but from the sacred 
 stem of the cross, which to such appears but dead wood, 
 and yet in very truth possesses so heavenly an energy 
 that all true spiritual life can spring from it alone ? '
 
 175 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 1823-1824. 
 
 FIRST CONCEPTION OF THE FUTURE ASSOCIATION FOR 
 
 THE RELIEF OF THE SICK AND POOR ACQUAINTANCE 
 
 WITH PASTOR GOSSNER ; HIS INFLUENCE INCREASE OF 
 
 VOLUNTARY LABOURS FOR EDUCATION CHANGE OF 
 
 RESIDENCE. 
 
 IF it was not fated that Miss Sieveking should found 
 a sisterhood in the manner and shape that at this 
 time floated before her mind, she was destined at 
 least to see it come into existence during her lifetime, 
 and her definite presentiment on this point did not 
 deceive her. In the sketch we are now about to give, we 
 recognise, however, the ideal picture of those free associ- 
 ations of which she was actually the foundress, and 
 which possess a living energy and a capacity for growth 
 only when they rest on the ground which she acknow- 
 ledged. The more nearly such an association approxi- 
 mates to its original idea, the more immediately will it 
 derive strength and nourishment from above, and 
 become partaker in that blessing which first called the
 
 176 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEVEKING. 
 
 original thought into life as a deed. Every society for 
 the aid of the sick and poor which does not rest on 
 a Christian basis is abnormal ; this we may learn from 
 contemplating the image which first revealed itself in 
 the mind of the foundress of these institutions. 
 
 She continues : 
 
 'No doubt, a mind wholly occupied with secular 
 things would scarcely be attracted to my sisterhood ; 
 but how many a poor soul bears within itself the germ 
 of the Divine life, and yet is scarcely conscious of the 
 precious gift ? it knows not how to cherish and develope 
 it, and so it fades and perishes amid the trivial interests 
 of every-day life to which such a soul may be sur- 
 rendering itself completely. But if such an one could 
 enter our circle of devoted sisters, she would then be- 
 come aware what a fair and heavenly plant might 
 spring from this neglected seed, and would begin to 
 care for it more heedfully. Lifted out of the magic 
 circle of the world, with its deluding phantasms, she 
 would learn in this quiet sanctuary that a man is truly 
 rich only by virtue of that portion of his life which 
 he lives for eternity. She would learn to guard care- 
 
 
 
 fully the treasure which we bear about in earthen 
 vessels, and to take thought how it might be increased. 
 Those who have more would add to her of their store, 
 and in the act of giving enrich themselves. And thus, 
 dear friends suffer me to rejoice in this prospect thus 
 many a life that had begun to grow dry and empty
 
 PLAN OF A CHARITABLE SISTERHOOD. 177 
 
 because the springs of earthly affection had failed, 
 would draw fresh powers from the exhaustless well of 
 Heavenly Love. Once that life was poor and sorely 
 oppressed, narrowed and misunderstood, now it would 
 become rich, and rise to free activity, and a quiet 
 dignity to which not even the worldling could refuse 
 his secret reverence, though outwardly he might at first 
 visit it with contempt. Ah, tell me must not such 
 a society, in which each should be ever striving to aid 
 the other's progress in the faith that worketh by love 
 be a heart-gladdening sight? And let none say, that 
 the individual, if but inspired with the right spirit, can 
 accomplish equally blessed results working alone. How 
 closely do most persons find themselves fettered by 
 limited means, by dependence on the will of others, or 
 if not, at least by the judgment of the world around 
 them, and a thousand burdensome conventionalities ! 
 Believe me, in hundreds of instances we unmarried 
 women are not permitted to do the good to which our 
 hearts impel us, because we want the settled position 
 which would be given us by a definite sacred calling, 
 recognised as such by the world without. The conse- 
 crated community would be to us a protecting aegis, 
 under whose shelter we might more courageously with- 
 stand malicious reports, and the question that makes so 
 many timid What will people say? Lastly, though un- 
 doubtedly the highest blessing of such a society would 
 rest on itself, let me still direct your attention to the 
 
 N
 
 178 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 precious fruits it would bear in those wider circles, into 
 which it sends forth its members to carry help and 
 comfort and refreshment to the poor and suffering. 
 What feeling heart can look out into the world, and not 
 quail at the sight of the incalculable sufferings both of 
 body and mind under which our poor fallen humanity 
 is groaning ? And how little comparatively is done for 
 their alleviation, and how poor is all paid perfunctory 
 service of the sick and poor, compared to the voluntary 
 labours of love ? 
 
 ' Can, then, a society which devotes itself exclu- 
 sively to such objects, be deemed superfluous and un~ 
 necessary? And must not our sex be allowed to be 
 especially adapted for its working, as we are of more 
 tender nature than men, and not bound by settled 
 occupations or professions ? In the primitive Christian 
 Church this view found advocates ; maids and matrons 
 of good report were permitted to give themselves to the 
 service of the Church, that is, to visiting the poor, nursing 
 the sick, and teaching the female catechumens. Educa- 
 tion you will easily believe that I have no mind to re- 
 nounce one of the greatest interests of my mental life 
 when I enter my sisterhood, but that my scheme would 
 embrace, in addition to what constitutes the chief work 
 of the Eoman Catholic sisterhoods, also the education 
 of youth. 
 
 ' But the great point of all, the true life and soul of 
 all our endeavours, must be to glorify Him who has
 
 ACQUAINTANCE WITH PASTOR GOSSNER. 179 
 
 lived and suffered and died for us, who loved us first 
 with surpassing love, who has thus Himself awakened 
 the first spark of Divine love in our poor cold hearts. 
 The love of Christ must constrain us in all that we do 
 for our brethren, that so they too may learn to praise 
 His holy name. We will carry the Grospel to the poor 
 man's hut, that he, however sorely weighed down by 
 life's burdens, may yet rejoice and sing for joy ; beside 
 sick and dying beds we will proclaim the word of 
 eternal life, that the soul of the sad sufferer may be 
 refreshed by the blessed hope of heaven ; in the child's 
 heart we will plant the mustard seed of faith, that it 
 ma,y grow into a mighty tree to give shadow amid the 
 sultry days of trial and temptation yet to come. 
 The prospect overpowers me, my eyes are dazzled by 
 the boundless fields that are even now white unto 
 harvest, rich with such overflowing harvest blessings. 
 But where are the reapers ? With tears I fall on my 
 knees and cry, " Lord, send me into Thy harvest." ' 
 
 In the autumn of 1824, Miss Sieveking made the 
 acquaintance of Pastor Grossner, a Bavarian by birth, 
 who had been brought up in the Eoman Catholic Church 
 and become a priest, but by deep study of the Holy 
 Scriptures had been converted to the evangelical 
 doctrines, and had found himself obliged, in conse- 
 quence, not merely to resign his office, but to leave his 
 country. He went soon afterwards to St. Petersburg, 
 where he preached for four years with great success, 
 
 N 2
 
 180 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 and gathered a congregation round him, out of the 
 various churches of that city, which was distinguished 
 by the most remarkable zeal and enlightenment. This, 
 however, awakened envy and hostility, and the in- 
 trigues of his opponents succeeded in persuading the 
 Emperor that he was a dangerous man, and effecting his 
 banishment. With a sorrowful heart he tore himself 
 away from his beloved congregation, and went first to 
 Berlin, then to Altona, where he lived for some months 
 in complete retirement, with an aged female relative and 
 a pious maid-servant, who had also been converted from 
 Eomanism by him, awaiting a summons from his God 
 to some new sphere of activity. Amelia was introduced 
 to him by mutual friends, and passed many precious 
 and happy hours in his society. 
 
 She writes of him : 
 
 ' His own favourite thought, " Christ in us," so per- 
 vades his whole being, that personal intercourse with 
 him furnishes, in truth, the best commentary on his 
 writings. Always self-collected, his whole soul always 
 fixed on the one thing needful, and breathing only love 
 and gentleness, one feels in his presence as if in a 
 sanctuary, even when he does not speak. In mixed 
 society he says little, and often appears reserved. He 
 dislikes mere discussion for amusement, even of spiritual 
 things ; but where he sees that a soul is really craving 
 spiritual sustenance, no one can be more ready than he 
 to minister to its needs. I have to thank him for open-
 
 ACQUAINTANCE WITH PASTOR GOSSNER. 181 
 
 ing to me the meaning of many passages of Scripture ; 
 but he has done far more for my inner life than increase 
 my knowledge he has taught me to feel, with the 
 deepest shame, how faint is the spirit of Divine love in 
 me as yet, and has fanned to a somewhat brighter 
 flame the spark that is but too ready to die out altogether. 
 ' He is a man of about fifty years of age ; but never 
 have I met any person with whom the individuality of 
 the speaker is so entirely thrown into the background, and 
 who at the same time so little flatters the individuality 
 of the person addressed. . . . My acquaintance with 
 GTossner has given a new and powerful impulse to my 
 aspirations after what now floats before me as the 
 future vocation of my life. He received my communi- 
 cations on this subject, as I expected, with approbation, 
 even with joy that the Lord should have awakened 
 such a thought in me, nor did he seem disinclined to 
 believe that I might really be chosen to be the instru- 
 ment of this work ; but he did not omit to add the 
 most earnest admonitions that I should consecrate my 
 whole soul more entirely than I have ever done yet, by 
 prayer and love and self-surrender, unto Him without 
 whom we can accomplish nothing, least of all a work 
 that must inevitably meet with so many hindrances 
 from the world without. Every word he spoke went 
 straight to my heart, often humbling me to the ground 
 by disclosing to me how much alloy there is in my en- 
 deavours, how much seeking my own honour as well
 
 182 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 as the glory of God. But if my dear pastor has thus 
 humbled my proud heart, he has not taken away my 
 courage ; no, the higher he places my goal, the more he 
 has enkindled my zeal to strive for its attainment. 
 The day before yesterday, in the solemn hour of part- 
 ing, I knelt before him and made a vow of faithfulness to 
 my calling, and received from him his blessing and 
 consecration to it. Oh, if you knew what a fire often 
 burns within me ! I believe this inward glow would 
 consume me, if my Lord did not provide that its fervour 
 should be moderated by the daily demands of ordinary 
 life on my fully taxed powers. 
 
 f But do not fear that I shall be over hasty ; no, it is 
 clear to me that I must wait some years at least yet. 
 Gossner requires it from me, and I will do it, whatever 
 it may cost me ; for you may believe me, that it is no 
 easy thing to sit still with so mighty an impulse urging 
 me within. But the more a fire is repressed the keener 
 it burns ; I will repress myself. St. Vincent de Paul, 
 whom I have chosen for my special saint, shall be my 
 model in -this respect also. Stolberg says of him : 
 " He had one peculiar custom. This man, who under- 
 took and executed such an astonishing amount of work, 
 used to begin very slowly, slowly laid his foundations, 
 examined long what the will of God might be; but 
 when he was once convinced what it was, he went 
 forward with irresistible power, and God bestowed on 
 him results as rapid as they were fruitful."
 
 PLAN OF A CHARITABLE SISTERHOOD. 183 
 
 * But when I shall have waited for years, and at last 
 have attained the conviction that the moment is come, 
 that action is permitted then let none meet me with 
 glances of contemptuous pity, and accuse me of being 
 carried away by enthusiasm to neglect the duties near at 
 hand for others at a distance to which I am not called. 
 Or rather, if I am met with such objections for I cannot 
 prevent people from saying and thinking what they 
 please they shall not mislead me. This matter is 
 indeed not a duty at a distance ; but truly how near my 
 God has brought it to me by His inward and outward 
 Providences none can tell, nor can I put it fully into 
 words. If it is objected to me, "the matter is not 
 of the Lord, it is but thy own work," I cannot indeed 
 j ustify myself by any process of reasoning ; I can only 
 appeal to a mighty inward consciousness which to 
 others will be an insufficient proof. Such a feeling can- 
 not in its very nature be convincing to others, it is 
 so only to ourselves; yet I think, for this very reason, a 
 judicious mind will abstain from all depreciatory judg- 
 ment on this point. And should any one attempt to 
 make me doubt what I have felt with the greatest 
 clearness in the holiest moments of my life, it would be 
 difficult for him to succeed . . . Grossner has 
 not yet been able to procure the Eoman Catholic rule 
 for me ; but as Hartmann expressly desired that I 
 should draw up my own scheme quite independently 
 of any existing form, I have waited no longer, and by
 
 184 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKISG. 
 
 God's help have prepared a rule of sixty-nine articles for 
 my dear sisterhood. Gossner, to whom I have also 
 communicated it, is satisfied with it, though he drew my 
 attention to what I had indeed already said to myself, 
 namely, that experience alone could determine whether 
 and what modifications might be necessary from time 
 to time . . . When I had completed my rule, the 
 vision of Ezekiel came strongly into my mind 
 (Ez. xxxvii.) ; try to feel with me the intense longing 
 with which I look for the w6rd of the Lord : " Pro- 
 phesy unto the wind, prophesy, son of man, and say 
 unto the wind, Thus saith the Lord (rod : Come from 
 the four winds, Breath, and breathe upon these bones 
 that they may live." Yes, when at last I may thus speak, 
 and my word, because it is spoken in the name of the 
 Lord, does not remain a dead word, when the breath in 
 truth rushes down from above, when the lifegiving 
 Spirit of God breathes a soul into this lifeless form, 
 then, then I shall be troubled no longer about the 
 justification of my enterprise, its progress or its per- 
 manence. Then I can refer everyone to the words of 
 Gamaliel : " If this counsel or this work be of men, it 
 will come to nought; but if it be of God, ye can- 
 not overthrow it ; " and the Lord, who ever does im- 
 measurably more than we can ask or understand, will 
 not allow my confidence to be put to shame. But I 
 well understand why my God suffers me to wait so long. 
 The best workman can do nothing properly with a bad
 
 LETTER TO MINNA HOSCH. 155 
 
 tool, says Grossner, and therefore his first care is always 
 to set his instrument in good order. If the axe is 
 well-sharpened you can cut with it twice as easily. 
 This is therefore ray Saviour's present purpose with me, 
 He will prepare me, and make me suitable for His work; 
 and I, what then shall I do? I will be still before 
 Him, and suffer Him to do His will. Yes, and He will 
 accomplish it for His mercy's sake.' 
 
 Later in the same letter she says : 
 
 * Humility appears to me to be the crown of all 
 the Christian virtues, and therefore I strive after it, but 
 by nature my heart is gifted with immense pride and 
 the most aspiring ambition, and you cannot imagine 
 what trouble this gives me, and how hard it is for me 
 to maintain a spirit of true humility for one day, nay 
 for one hour. One means of attaining it, doubtless, is to 
 speak as little as may be of one's-self altogether, whether 
 it be for good or evil. But can we quite abstain from it 
 in letters of true friendship ? I, at any rate, cannot 
 conceive of any frank outpouring of the heart which does 
 not bring our individual inner life into contact with 
 that of the friend addressed.' 
 
 In December Amelia writes to Minna Hosch : 
 
 ' I find great enjoyment in teaching in the free 
 school. That at least I am not yet tired of it, you may 
 conclude from this, that I have lately begun something 
 fresh of the kind; that is, I allow a number of poor children 
 who cannot attend our free school to come to me on
 
 186 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 Sunday afternoons, when I read them a portion from the 
 Bible, explain it, and pray with them. Ah, you cannot 
 imagine what a mighty pressure and longing I often 
 feel within me to impart to other poor souls that Word 
 of Life which so fills my own life with happiness and 
 blessing ! ' 
 
 About this time Madame Briinnemann, who felt an 
 increasing need of rest and quiet, withdrew entirely 
 from her late husband's business, and as this necessitated 
 some retrenchment of her expenses, she sold her large 
 house in the city, and hired another in another quarter 
 of the town, which she shared with some relations, and 
 in which Amelia had two small rooms to herself on the 
 ground-floor. As her whole life in this period of 
 strengthening faith and trust had received a new and 
 higher impulse, so the same influence was apparent in 
 the instruction which she now imparted to her children. 
 She was eagerly reading Church History with a view 
 to these lessons, and writes, ' You would not believe 
 what a fresh and beautiful significance all this wears to 
 me, when I think that it may become the means ' of 
 blessing to the souls whom our Saviour has entrusted 
 to my charge, and such blessing I think we have a right 
 to expect from a faithful delineation of what the Holy 
 Ghost has wrought in the Church until the present 
 day. I think this study is too much neglected among 
 us, and often postponed to other researches of far less 
 importance.'
 
 is; 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 1824-1826. 
 
 CLOTILDA LEAVES THE HOUSE - HOW THE DOCTRINE OF 
 THE SINFULNESS OF HUMAN NATURE SHOULD BE TAUGHT 
 TO CHILDREN - RULES FOR A SISTERHOOD OF NURSES - 
 REMARKS ON THIS PROJECT - SHAKEN HEALTH, AND 
 DIFFICULTY OF INDUCING AMELIA TO ACCEPT ASSISTANCE - 
 AIMS AS AN AUTHOR - HER ADOPTED MOTHER'S IMPAIRED 
 EYESIGHT. 
 
 spring her beloved Clotilda left the house, to 
 enter on a situation as governess in a noble 
 family in Grermany. Amelia, with the conscientious 
 faithfulness which she showed in every relation of life, 
 had made the most careful previous enquiries, and 
 placed herself in direct communication with the family. 
 During the following summer, Miss Sieveking went 
 into the city from her aunt's country house every week 
 on the Tuesday, remaining until Thursday, and going 
 again on the Saturday, to fulfil her constantly increas- 
 ing engagements as an instructress; while she was no 
 less careful that her adopted mother should suffer no 
 want of companionship during her absence. All her
 
 188 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 thoughts and feelings took more and more one definite 
 direction, and every event in life, great or small, that 
 befell her or those whom she loved, could now serve 
 only to confirm that faith which became ever more 
 truly the very life of her life. At the end of April, 
 she comforts Minna Hosch, who had lost a tried friend 
 by death, and concludes 
 
 ' Think that your friend has but bid you a some- 
 what longer farewell than usual ; think that a parting 
 awaits all earthly love, but that there is something 
 eternal in love, which belongs of right to heaven, and is 
 faithfully treasured up for us there.' 
 
 About this time she writes to her brother on the 
 necessity of making the sinfulness of our human nature 
 intelligible to children. 'It is, in my opinion,' she 
 says among other things, ' the indispensable task of an 
 instructor to make the child comprehend the true 
 nature of sin, how it does not consist in this or that 
 special outbreak of passion, but in man's aversion 
 to the Divine, in his separation from Grod, and 
 then to point this out to the child in his own heart. 
 From this conviction of sin proceeds, as I believe 
 most earnestly, all right knowledge and true ap- 
 propriation of the salvation offered to us in Christ. 
 But this task is certainly not an easy one ; one chief 
 part of the corruption of our nature, self-conceit, is a 
 most mighty hindrance in a child's heart, but with 
 patience and constancy we may reach our aim in time.
 
 RELIGIOUS EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. 189 
 
 We must know and I hold this to be a most essential 
 thing in all education we must know how to wait for the 
 often late-ripening fruit, without growing weary in sow- 
 ing and planting. He who would pluck the fruit too 
 soon, is apt to find it cankered. Woe to those who 
 teach children to assume a penitential mien, to strike 
 upon the breast and say " Grod be merciful to me a 
 a sinner," without feeling true contrition of heart. Oh, 
 how repulsive is every outward form of piety to me 
 when the heart is wanting ! . . . With my children I do 
 so ; I speak to them often, and with strong expressions, 
 of the corruption of our nature, but I do not require 
 them to repeat after me what I say ; on the contrary, 
 I say some day : " Tell me, do not you think this a 
 hard saying, do not you find it hard to believe that 
 things are as bad with you as I say ? Well, it does not 
 surprise me at all. True, searching self-knowledge is a 
 great matter, and I cannot require it as yet from you, 
 who have but just begun to tread the paths of grace. 
 And I will not ask you either to take all this on my 
 word alone ; but search the Scriptures, search your own 
 hearts, and I am convinced the hour will come when 
 you will testify to me that I have not said too much. " 
 
 ' But when I thus lament over the wretchedness of our 
 fallen nature, I am accustomed not merely to include 
 myself in what I say, but to lay most stress on my own 
 state ; which I can do without affectation, for in truth 
 I am nowhere more deeply conscious of this wretchedness
 
 190 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 than in myself. And I do this not merely in general 
 terms, but on particular occasions ; thus I seldom scold a 
 child for any fault of consequence, without blaming my- 
 self too, for I feel most vividly that none of the souls 
 committed to my charge can fall into sin without my 
 having in some way or other a share in the fault. And 
 certainly, the higher we stand in their opinion in 
 general, the wholesomer effect will an honest voluntary 
 humility in us have on them ; at least, in my own ex- 
 perience, I know no better means of rousing them to an 
 earnest striving against sin, and a conscientious search 
 after the hidden evil of their own hearts. Yes, I may 
 say that in this manner I have succeeded, or rather, it 
 has pleased the Spirit of God by this means to lead 
 some of the souls entrusted to me to a thorough know- 
 ledge of their own wickedness, and thus to true holiness. 
 For where the former is, the latter will not be wanting. 
 For could it be possible to behold our sins in their true 
 form, without hating them in our deepest heart, without 
 battling to the very death against them ? No, it is im- 
 possible, impossible ! But I am clearly convinced that 
 not I, but the very Spirit of Grod, has wrought this 
 work in these souls, and only made use of me as a poor 
 instrument in its first beginnings, because some of them 
 have far outstripped me in their progress. 
 
 'No doubt, many persons, if they heard of what I 
 have here laid down as my great principle in education, 
 would conclude that my poor children must have a very
 
 RELIGIOUS EDUCATION OF CHILDBEN. 191 
 
 melancholy air, and show no trace of the joyousness of 
 youth. But this is far from being the case; on the 
 contrary, I would challenge any one to point out to me 
 a school where there is more freedom and merriment 
 than in mine, except when we are talking of divine 
 things. . . . 
 
 * For the rest, I am by no means of the opinion of 
 those who refuse to believe in any complete conversion 
 which has not been preceded by an almost or quite 
 despairing agony of penitence. " The wind bloweth 
 where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, 
 but canst not tell whence it cometh, nor whither it 
 goeth. So is every one that is born of the Spirit." 
 Why, then, are we always so inclined to confine the 
 mysterious work of the New Birth within certain fixed 
 forms ? What right have we to demand that every soul 
 should pass through the same process of purification 
 that we ourselves perhaps may have undergone ? Has 
 not the Lord a thousand means and ways, and does He 
 not lead every soul by its own path ? . . . Fairer 
 and easier was the path by which He led me, and along 
 which I now seek to guide my children. I cannot say, 
 with truth, that my sins drove me to seek the Saviour ; 
 no, the Saviour first drew me by the inexpressible 
 power of His love to His cross, and there, in the holy 
 light that streams from Calvary, I first learnt how deep 
 was the night of my sins, and the longer I contemplate 
 His divine glory on the cross, the blacker does this
 
 192 LIFE OF AMEiJA WILHELMINA SIEVEKDsG. 
 
 night appear to me. But though it has sometimes 
 made me anxious and fearful, it has never plunged me 
 into utter hopelessness. / know Him who will raise 
 me out of the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom 
 of light, and I believe that most precious Word, that 
 " Christ has been given for our sins and raised again 
 for our justification." ' 
 
 Amelia had sent her first sketch of a rule for a 
 Sisterhood of Mercy to her brother ; he made several 
 objections to it, as he mistakenly supposed what was 
 a mere sketch to be intended for print in the form 
 it then had. She corrects this mistake, and on this 
 occasion we learn that her health had suffered a shock 
 about this time. She writes: ' Shall I be permitted 
 to bring my work to its longed-for completion ? This 
 question presses on me more vividly just now than ever 
 before. My health, usually so strong, has been a little 
 shaken ; I coughed, felt some pains in the chest, grew 
 rather thin, and found myself at times oppressed by 
 languor ; but the Lord granted me the mercy of never 
 once being obliged to omit my lessons. That my good 
 mother was not quite without anxiety, that I myself 
 accepted my state as a warning to think more earnestly 
 than usual of the possibility of an early departure, you 
 will understand. But this thought has not alarmed 
 me ; even the remembrance that thus my darling pro- 
 ject must thus remain unaccomplished did not make me 
 uneasy ; if He, my Saviour, will have me in His heaven,
 
 PLAN FOR A SISTERHOOD. 193 
 
 He will know how to complete through others what I 
 have left behind me unfinished, if indeed it be His will 
 that it should be carried out. . . . My firm conviction 
 is, however, that my Saviour will come to my aid in 
 every conflict, and lead me out at last to victory, and 
 with this confidence I cannot deny that an early com- 
 pletion of my course often seems to me a blessing to be 
 much desired. ... It is indeed sweet and pleasant here 
 on earth, but infinitely sweeter to be with Christ, and 
 in my deepest heart I feel that this is not my home. 
 . . . However, I can assure you that you need be under 
 no anxiety whatever about me at present. The water of 
 Ems, which I am now drinking, has been very bene- 
 ficial to me, my cough is gone, my old strength and 
 fresher looks are returning, and if the Lord has appointed 
 me a longer, or even a really long life, I am very willing 
 to live. Let Him do with" me as it pleaseth Him. All 
 that we receive from His hand is blessing, and does He 
 not already bestow on me so rich a measure of happi- 
 ness here ? At last, at last, the most beautiful, most 
 blessed hour of all must come, when we shall see Him 
 as He is ; yes, it will surely come ! ' 
 
 In October of this year, Amelia at last found time 
 to send her brother a defence, and more minute ex- 
 planation of the sketch of a rule for her sisterhood, 
 which she had communicated to him six months 
 before. The institution which she had in her mind's 
 
 o
 
 194 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 eye at this time was not destined to come into being, 
 but it cannot be without interest to consider more 
 closely the form which it assumed in her thoughts ; 
 and we shall therefore give several passages from this 
 letter, which bears almost the character of a treatise. 
 She says, among other things : 
 
 * To settle every detail beforehand seems to me, in 
 such a case, not merely unnecessary, but positively 
 prejudicial. On this point, as on so many others, I 
 recur to the example of St. Vincent de Paul, of whom 
 Stolberg writes : " For more than thirty years, his mis- 
 sionary Order had been in existence without any written 
 rule. The wise and modest Vincent was far removed 
 indeed from the foolish delusion of those persons who 
 imagine that their understanding will be sufficient to 
 comprehend and determine, at the very commencement 
 of some great enterprise, all its future relations, to 
 obviate all difficulties, and to draw up, without the aid 
 of experience, a constitution, untested as yet by prac- 
 tical trial." It will easily be perceived, I think, that the 
 rule which he drew up after he had had the practical 
 teaching of thirty years' experience, and when the 
 society had become convinced of the wisdom of his guid- 
 ance, and of the Divine blessing which visibly rested on 
 his work would be far more perfect, and more joyfully 
 accepted by the community, than if he had set out at first 
 with the dead letter. Such an institution as I long to 
 found would be no lifeless machine, whose parts could
 
 ON CHRISTIAN NURSING. 195 
 
 be calculated out beforehand, and put together by the 
 skilful hand of a mechanist ; it is rather an organic 
 being that, under the Divine blessing, must develope 
 itself from within, and assume forms of growing beauty 
 and usefulness. It seems to me, therefore, to be suf- 
 ficient, at first, if only those elements are present which 
 are to regulate the growth of the whole, and above all, 
 that principle of life which, wherever it manifests its 
 activity, will of itself bring light and order into the dead 
 masses of matter.' 
 
 Farther on, speaking of the vocation of a Christian 
 nurse, she says : 
 
 * Our whole nature revolts against the sight of 
 physical suffering in its manifold, and alas ! often 
 terrible forms; and what heart not yet steeped in 
 coarseness, and capable of more refined susceptibilities, 
 could endure to witness such suffering day and night 
 were it not raised by faith to that height whence all 
 bodily suffering is seen to be a benefit, a sharp remedy 
 for the yet far sadder sickness of the soul. When 
 I lose this point of view, the sight of the sick person 
 only fills me with painful feelings, excites in me a secret 
 dislike and aversion, and I should turn away from him 
 as soon as possible ; but when I keep this view steadily 
 before me, my aversion changes into tender compassion 
 yes, into compassion in the truest sense of the term, 
 feeling with the sufferer ; I feel in myself the same 
 spiritual disease on account of which the Lord is visiting 
 
 o 2
 
 196 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIE VEXING. 
 
 the poor sufferer with such heavy strokes, and I am 
 ready willingly to accept my share of the suffering, 
 if so I may also partake in its healing and purifying 
 powers. Then I seek to behold in the sufferer the heir 
 of future glory, for which his very sufferings are a pre- 
 paration. In this hope, is it not natural that my heart 
 should burn with desire to assist the purpose of the 
 Divine Love, and do as much as Grod has placed in our 
 power, that the ore should not have been committed to 
 the purifying furnace in vain ? To prepare such helpful 
 instruments for the Divine Purifier is, in truth, the desire 
 which consumes my soul with its ardour. If you choose 
 to call these instruments missionaries, I have nothing to 
 say against it ; and I myself wish that they should regard 
 themselves as such, as ambassadors of Jesus Christ sent 
 to proclaim to the poor and wretched the most com- 
 forting and joyful of tidings, the lovely and glorious 
 Grospel. But your fear is, that they will forget the 
 earthly in the heavenly part of their mission, neglect 
 the care of the body for the care of the soul. If they 
 did, they would take up the whole thing by the wrong 
 end, and I should say of them, that they were not 
 only bad sick-nurses but bad missionaries. For he 
 who would see fruitful and blessed results from 
 his labours in the kingdom of (rod, must above all 
 things, I think, accustom himself to use all outward 
 matters as means for the attainment of spiritual 
 objects. He who does not give due heed to the means is
 
 ON CHRISTIAN NURSING. 197 
 
 either not in earnest about the cause, or must be labour- 
 ing under a strange perversion and confusion of ideas. 
 When I speak of the Christian spirit that ought to animate 
 the sisters, and promise myself such good effects from 
 it on the souls of their patients, I do not mean that it 
 should show itself only in edifying speeches, admoni- 
 tions, and prayers, but that it should be manifested no 
 less and this is my deepest conviction in loving care 
 for the outward wants of the sufferers, in untiring faith- 
 fulness in watching over them, in readiness to bear the 
 greatest privations and make the heaviest sacrifices for 
 their sakes. And if any sister sought to separate these 
 two portions of her work, I should say to her : Dear 
 Sister, do not you know that the kingdom of God 
 standeth not in words but in power ? Go and learn first 
 what that means, " the love of Christ constraineth us ; " 
 learn to enter into the spirit of that command, 
 " Whether ye eat or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all 
 to the glory of God." Learn from this that the most 
 trivial office in the service of the poor sufferer may 
 become a sacred function in the service of God, and that 
 so long as you feel yourself ashamed of these offices, or 
 think yourself above them, or discharge them with a 
 reluctant loveless heart, all your fine speeches, though 
 you may speak with the tongues of men and angels, are 
 but empty phrases, and yourself no better than sound- 
 ing brass or a tinkling cymbal.' 
 
 She now proceeds to justify, and expound more
 
 198 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 minutely, her meaning and purpose in particular parts 
 of the sketch. All is well thought out, and has been 
 weighed with the soberness, clearness, and reasonable- 
 ness so striking in her; but to insert the whole here 
 would lead us too far, and the letter does not admit of 
 being given in fragments, as one portion grows natur- 
 ally out of another. It was reserved for a later period 
 of her life to furnish a practical field for that remark- 
 able talent for organization which is already indicated 
 by this sketch. 
 
 Touching and characteristic at once is another cir- 
 cumstance mentioned in this same letter. The account 
 that Amelia herself had given of her shaken health had 
 evidently alarmed her brother, in spite of the en- 
 couraging assurances she had added, and had led him 
 to request her to appropriate a small sum of money 
 from him to drives, which would spare her the long and 
 fatiguing walks between Hamburg and Othmarschen. 
 On such points, however, Miss Sieveking was not an easy 
 person to deal with, and things must be very bad before 
 she could be induced to adopt measures of this kind for 
 her own comfort. She writes now : ' It was ten dollars* 
 that I took, in order, as you wished, to pay for a carriage 
 when I might need it. Twelve schillings ( Hamburg)! I 
 have really spent in this way, having driven part of the 
 way one day when it was very hot and I was very tired. 
 The rest do not be angry with me has been spent in 
 
 * Thirty shillings. f One shilling English.
 
 LETTER TO MINNA HOSCH. 199 
 
 another manner. You see it was the midsummer 
 quarter, there was school-money to pay for several 
 children, and my purse happened to be very low. Now 
 it is filled again, and if you do not like your money 
 to have been laid out in this way, I can easily pay it 
 back again. But I know you too well, you will not 
 desire it,' &c. She then assures him that the physician 
 had recommended exercise in the open air, and, more- 
 over, she is now quite free from any derangement of 
 health. 
 
 In December she writes to Minna Hosch : ' Do you 
 know that I could already appear in print a second 
 time ? I have enough by me to furnish a larger volume 
 than I have published yet, and it shall be printed some 
 day, but not just at present. The outcry about my enthu- 
 siastic views would become too loud, and however little 
 I may dread this for myself, I have other considerations 
 to bear in mind partly on account of my mother, 
 partly and chiefly on account of the parents of my 
 children which make it my duty to be silent for the 
 present. May the Lord teach us both to be silent and 
 to speak in His own time ; both require no little wis- 
 dom, and where we do not suffer ourselves to be led by 
 His Holy Spirit, we shall fall into more errors, both in 
 the one and the other respect, than we can number.' 
 
 The malady in the eyes from which her venerable 
 adopted mother was suffering had now much increased ; 
 cataract threatened her with entire blindness, and an
 
 200 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 operation for its removal at her period of life her seven- 
 tieth year was a doubtful and anxious measure. She 
 was already forbidden either to read or write, and was 
 obliged to sit in a half-darkened room, as a strong light 
 gave her pain. She bore this trial with much patience, 
 and Amelia writes to her brother in March 1826 : 
 * Possibly the Lord may have ordained that the end of 
 her pilgrimage should be yet afar off : perhaps she has 
 yet a series of years to live through here in blindness 
 and helplessness. What must we say ? The will of our 
 Father in heaven be done ! If He has ordained it thus, 
 it will be for a blessing, and as the outward man decays 
 He will renew the inner man day by day ; if He closes 
 her outward eye, it will be only to open before the inward 
 eye a clearer insight into eternity. The Eternal Love 
 can never take away without giving in return, and 
 giving something fairer and higher than has been 
 taken.'
 
 201 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 1826. 
 
 DEATH OF TWO PUPILS ; REFLECTIONS ON THIS OCCUR- 
 RENCE VIEWS ON THE RESTORATION OF ALL THINGS 
 
 ON THE DISSENTERS ACQUAINTANCE WITH PROFESSOR 
 
 TSCHARNER PLEASURE IN HER VOCATION PUBLICATION 
 
 OF HER SECOND WORK ON THE APOCALYPSE REFLECTIONS 
 
 BEFORE AND AFTERWARDS REVIEWS AND CRITICISMS. 
 
 IN the autumn of this year Amelia lost by death two 
 of her young pupils who had been lately confirmed, 
 and had the happiness of knowing that the conduct of 
 both during a long period of failing health, and amid 
 the sufferings and close of their last illness, bore testi- 
 mony to the reality of their faith. Of course she fre- 
 quently visited both on their sick-beds, but in the case 
 of one she was obliged to avoid every allusion to the 
 great crisis which she was slowly approaching, and, 
 indeed, all conversation on serious subjects, in deference 
 to the decided wishes of her relatives. Amelia writes 
 afterwards to, Minna Hosch: * Such people seem to 
 think that the highest aim of those who are around the 
 sick-bed should be to amuse the invalid by endeavouring
 
 202 LIFE OP AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 to direct her attention to indifferent subjects, but such 
 amusement seems to me a pitiable makeshift. Is it 
 not better to give her truth for falsehood; instead of 
 fixing her gaze always on this outer world alone, which 
 cannot in reality any longer have charms for her, to 
 turn it rather into the depths of her own nature, and 
 to show her there a Divine energy, the power of faith, 
 which can raise us above all earthly pain, or at least 
 give us strength to bear our pain with dignity and 
 gentle composure ? And on a Christian sick-bed should 
 death be regarded as a spectre from which we would 
 fain avert our eyes as long as possible ? Where then 
 is our faith in Christ, the conqueror of death, if it does 
 not enable us to cry with St. Paul, " Oh death, where is 
 thy sting ? Oh grave, where is thy victory ? " 
 
 In a letter to her brother about this date, she ex- 
 presses her thoughts on a subject which lay very near 
 her heart, and utters an opinion, that she maintained 
 firmly through her whole life, with reference to the 
 final restoration of all things : 
 
 4 It is a necessity to me, to believe in the progressive 
 education of man after death. Yes, my faith leads me 
 even further, it gives me the joyful and confident hope 
 that the great Educator above will not withdraw His 
 hand from His work until it is completed, until the 
 whole human race presents itself before Him as one 
 glorious Church, without spot or wrinkle, or any such 
 thing, holy and incorruptible; nay, my daring hope
 
 VIEWS ON THE RESTORATION OF ALL THINGS. 203 
 
 stretches beyond our own race to include even the 
 fallen spirits, resting in unshaken trust on those words, 
 that "G-od shall then be All in All" (1 Cor. xv. 28). 
 Let this " Then," if you will, belong to the remotest 
 future, let thousands of years, nay, let eternities go by 
 let the ungodly have to pass first through a thousand 
 judgments, and all the pains of hell yet at last, so 
 my faith rejoices to believe, at last it must arrive. . . 
 Nor have I drawn this belief from the writings or 
 conversation of like-minded men ; no, not from the 
 broken cisterns of human opinion, but from the living 
 spring have I drawn it ; for it is a careful meditation 
 on the Scriptures and their many and great promises 
 which has led me to this firm conviction.' 
 Later on in the same letter she writes : 
 ' When with regard to some article of faith I myself 
 can say I have light here, all the light I need, I do not 
 mean thereby to say to others you must find this light 
 sufficient also, and take good care that you do not 
 kindle a brighter one. I believe strongly, that as in 
 every other matter, so especially in the sphere of 
 religious belief, the wants of different minds are the 
 same in essence, and infinitely various in detail ; and 
 thus one mind finds itself impelled to make this point, 
 another that, the subject of its deeper research. But 
 when, in such research, a man keeps himself within the 
 boundaries of a true humility, accepts the conditions 
 laid down in Holy Scripture, and is ready to renounce
 
 204 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 any opinion of his own invention as an error, so soon as 
 it can be clearly proved to be contrary to the revealed 
 Word of (rod ; then I think such inquiries cannot be 
 without profit and blessing for him, even though he 
 should find in the end that his conjectures and conclu- 
 sions had in a hundred instances failed to hit the mark.' 
 
 She proceeds to speak of the English Dissenters 
 in Hamburg, and thinks that their relation to the 
 Episcopal Church is as fire to water; she had been 
 present occasionally at their services, and received profit 
 from them, but there was much that repelled her, 
 chiefly their strict Calvinistic views on Election, and a 
 certain rigid outward formalism, as, for instance, in 
 the observance of the Sabbath. 
 
 Perfect freedom and tolerance, combined however 
 with great decision in her own views, were at all times 
 an essential element of her religious faith, and thus 
 she writes with regard to such forms : 'I am by no 
 means so decidedly averse to these rules as many are ; 
 as far as I myself am concerned, the greater part of 
 them would be no irksome restraint, but pleasant and 
 welcome to me ; and I think, too, that for the mass of 
 the Christian community, a stricter Church discipline, 
 which should offer a contrast to the almost unlimited 
 licence that now prevails among us, would be of great 
 advantage. But when, as certainly is the case with 
 many members of this English congregation, external 
 rules of conduct are made the great point, and their
 
 PROFESSOR TSCHARNER. 205 
 
 strict observance is allowed to excite a pharisaic pride, 
 and a pharisaic love of condemning those who bear the 
 same seed only in another vessel, then the whole thing 
 becomes odious to me, and I can as little recognise the 
 spirit of Christ in it, as in the opposite extreme.' 
 
 Amelia came into contact with many foreigners who 
 were making a passing or a prolonged stay in Hamburg, 
 and towards whom she felt herself drawn by common 
 Christian interests. Thus she became acquainted about 
 this time with a society of Quakers, and found great 
 pleasure in intercourse with them. She also spent a 
 good deal of time with a Professor Tscharner of Berne, 
 who had been imprisoned in his own country on poli- 
 tical grounds, and finally deprived of his property and 
 exiled ; and who was now giving lectures in Hamburg 
 on natural philosophy that were much sought after. 
 While undergoing great hardships in prison, he had 
 been awakened to a living Christian faith by the study 
 of the Bible, and had experienced the most remarkable 
 instances of direct answers to prayer, and of inward and 
 outward leadings of Providence, which are narrated in 
 detail by Amelia in her 'Conversations on Certain 
 Passages of the Holy Scriptures.' She saw much of him, 
 and spent many happy hours with the little family, which 
 consisted of himself, his wife, and his son. In a letter to 
 her brother, in which she mentions the extraordinary 
 answers to prayer that Professor Tscharner had received, 
 she adds :
 
 206 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 * I have rejoiced to hear of them, because I have found 
 in them the confirmation of one of my favourite ideas, 
 namely, that the age of miracles ought not to be con- 
 fined to the apostolic period, or even the first centuries 
 of the Christian era, but rather continues even to our 
 own day, and that the Lord still here and there, where 
 He discerns the want and the faith, reveals Himself in 
 His wonder-working power.' 
 
 In this letter she returns to her projects for the 
 future, and says: 'The times and seasons the Lord 
 hath kept in His own power. Next Easter twelvemonth I 
 look forward to dismissing the children whom I am now 
 teaching, and that would be the period that I had at 
 first fixed in my own mind for the beginning of my 
 work. But if things do not shape themselves very dif- 
 ferently from what they are now, I doubt whether I 
 shall find courage and hopefulness enough in myself to 
 make a commencement. To undertake any extra- 
 ordinary work one needs an inward certainty raised 
 above all doubt, not only that it is in truth the Lord that 
 calls us, but that He calls us now. To begin such an 
 enterprise on one's own presumptuous decision, or even 
 in the question of time only, to step in before the limit 
 fixed by the Eternal Wisdom and Love that suffers all 
 truly noble and beautiful things to ripen slowly, would 
 bring no blessing, but plunge me, as it has done many 
 others, into bitter trouble. To wait for our God, with 
 silent care to watch for His leadings, to will nothing
 
 PLEASURE IN HER VOCATION. 207 
 
 more and nothing otherwise than He wills for us this 
 is to me a Christian's highest wisdom ; towards this wis- 
 dom I strive.' She then explains how her dear mother's 
 increasing helplessness, her probable loss of sight, and 
 the diminution of her fortune, bind her more closely to 
 her with ties that must be gently loosed, not broken by 
 force. ' My God can loose them,' she says, ' in one way 
 or another, but I will not prescribe aught to Him ; the 
 how or when, or whether they shall be. loosed at all, I 
 commit wholly to His hands.' She then expresses her 
 pleasure in the children who are already promised to 
 her for her next course of classes, and whose parents were 
 all personal friends, or belonged to her own way of 
 thinking, and adds : ' I cannot tell you with what 
 delight I picture to myself my work with this new set 
 of children, and yet the one which now surrounds me has 
 grown very dear to me, and I wish heartily I need not 
 yet part from it. Is not my life, in truth, over-rich ? 
 What a rare happiness do I not possess, if only in this one 
 point of having a vocation whose daily exercise opens to 
 me daily new sources of enjoyment; what many persons 
 cannot find even in the hours specially devoted to plea- 
 sure and amusement, is brought home to me by my every- 
 day work ; and while others sigh beneath some imposed 
 employment which weighs down all free mental move- 
 ment and impulse,! find that mine facilitates in everyway 
 what is the great task of all our lives the development 
 of all the powers with which we are entrusted. Yes, I
 
 208 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKIHG. 
 
 am often forced to contemplate, with thankful wonder, 
 the mercies of my Grod, who, so utterly without desert 
 on my part, has decked my life with a thousand, 
 thousand flowers. True, there are some thorns among 
 them, but shall I not learn to prize the thorns also ? 
 Do I not know that they are placed there only to guard 
 the more safely the blossom and the fruit ? ' 
 
 Then follows a new confession. She writes : 
 'The Second Part of my "Meditations on Certain 
 Portions of the Holy Scriptures " is now in the press. It 
 was finished, indeed, a long time ago, and the printing 
 has been postponed until now only in consequence of 
 my good mother's fears and doubts. Now at last, 
 however, I feel at liberty to proceed to publication, as 
 against these doubts I may set the decided sanction of 
 Greibel, Harms, and J. F. Von Meyer. As you, dear 
 Edward, were better pleased with the latter half of the 
 First Part than with the beginning, I venture to hope 
 that you will be in the same proportion better satisfied 
 with the Second Volume than with the First. But tell 
 me, are you satisfied with my printing at all ? My 
 mother says, I ought first to have waited for your 
 opinion. My dear brother, your opinion has very, very 
 great weight with me ; but will you take it amiss if I 
 say that, in this matter, I could not concede an 
 absolutely decisive value to it ? You see, when I have 
 laid the matter before my God in prayer, as I have done 
 in this case ; when I have weighed all the reasons for 
 and against with calm mind in His presence, and as I
 
 HER SECOND BOOK. 209 
 
 have looked up to Him an inward clearness has been 
 given me from above ; then I dare not allow myself to 
 be decided by a mere human opinion any more. . . 
 Is this clinging to my own conviction pride or ob- 
 stinacy ? Oh, my beloved friends, I feel well enough 
 how easily such impurities glide in, and therefore my 
 daily prayer to God is, that He would make me 
 humble. But to submit to the judgment of others, 
 where our inward conviction does not go with it, I 
 cannot regard as genuine humility; I can regard it 
 only as unfaithfulness to ourselves, unfaithfulness to 
 the loving voice of Grod, which speaks audibly enough 
 in every soul that will but watch for it. Oh how 
 terrible if it were not so, if we were driven to rely 
 on man's judgment alone ! What uncertainty, what 
 wretched indecision would be the inevitable result ! 
 Where should we dare to take our stand firmly, and with 
 a good courage ? ' 
 
 To Minna Hosch she writes on the same subject : 
 ' We must work while it is day, for the night cometh 
 wherein no man can work. Bearing in mind this 
 saying of our Lord's, I have resolved on the publication 
 of my book. ... Of course I can foresee that a 
 fresh outcry will be raised by some about enthusiasm 
 and spiritual pride ; but let them talk and exclaim as 
 they will, they shall not rob me of my peace of mind ; 
 nor, if there be but the smallest spark of the Divine Spirit 
 in my book, can they quench it, but it must and will 
 
 p
 
 210 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 make its way silently, in spite of all contempt, to some 
 hearts here and there, where it will enkindle a kindred 
 flame, or brighten the fire already burning. My only 
 care will be to prevent any unfavourable comments 
 from reaching my good mother, who takes them to heart 
 much more than I do for myself; and with her present 
 secluded mode of life, I think this will not be difficult 
 to manage.' 
 
 Amelia had added to this second work a preface, 
 inscribed * In the name of Jesus Christ,' in which she 
 enumerates the reasons which had decided her to publish 
 it, in spite of disapprobation from some quarters, and 
 gives at the same time a history of the gradual growth 
 of her faith, as we have already seen it in her life. In 
 conclusion she explains the choice of her text from the 
 Revelation of St. John, and guards her selection of a 
 subject from possible objections, by pointing out that 
 her expositions are confined to the opening portion of 
 the Apocalypse, which treats of earthly things and 
 had always had a peculiar attraction for her ; while 
 she has not entered on the second, which leads into the 
 future and the depths of Divine mysteries. ' In the 
 name of Jesus Christ,' then, she fearlessly sends forth 
 the fruit of her meditations to the world. At a later 
 period she gives her pupils the following account of her 
 experiences at this time : 
 
 4 After a time I could listen to judgments on my 
 book as if they concerned the work of another, but
 
 HER SECOND BOOK. 211 
 
 I never renounced the offspring of my brain, and if I 
 had occasion I should write just the same to-day, or 
 at most only alter some collateral points ; and thus I 
 cannot, as many do, confess that I have ever re- 
 pented of what I had written, or found cause to 
 change my opinions about it. As the views of my 
 friends had differed beforehand on the question of my 
 writing at all, so the reviews of my book varied much : 
 one by Hengstenberg, in the "Evangelical Church 
 Journal," censured, not my work only, but all author- 
 ship on the part of a woman, to whom he would not 
 concede any right of expression in print. I could not 
 abstain from defending this right, and accordingly 
 despatched an epistle on the subject to Hengstenberg, 
 which however neither appeared in the journal, nor 
 received any other notice. At first I was somewhat 
 offended, but afterwards I owned to myself that it 
 really would be asking too much of the poor editors, if 
 they were obliged to answer every letter that was sent 
 to them. In another journal the book was greatly 
 praised, and & few years ago I made acquaintance 
 with the author of this praise, Mr. Goschel of Magde- 
 burg. But I had one letter from a certain ' Candidat 
 M.' * which was absurdly rude. He took me to task, that 
 I, a woman, should permit myself to write on the 
 Apocalypse : a woman should concern herself with her 
 
 * An ordained minister waiting for a charge is a ' Candidat.' TK. 
 P 2
 
 212 ' LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 household, and make her husband's life pleasant, &c., 
 quite in the style of Campe's "Father's Advice to 
 his Daughters," entirely omitting all consideration of 
 the women who have no husbands. Of course this 
 letter was left unanswered.' 
 
 She returns to these events in some of her subsequent 
 letters.
 
 213 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 1826- : 1828. 
 
 DEATH OF LOUISA REICHARDT MISS SIEVEKING's METHOD 
 
 OF WORK VISIT FROM HER ENGLISH RELATIVES 
 
 JOURNEY TO LUBECK : SOCIETY THERE PREPARATION 
 
 FOR HER THIRD COURSE OF CLASSES VISIT TO LUBECK 
 
 EXPRESSION OF OVERFLOWING HAPPINESS IN A LETTER 
 
 TO HER BROTHER PLEASURE IN HER NEW PUPILS 
 
 ACQUAINTANCE WITH NEANDER PUBLICATION OF HER 
 
 SYSTEM OF INSTRUCTION REFLECTIONS ON IT. 
 
 IN November of this year, Miss Sieveking lost another 
 friend, who was very dear to her, her former 
 singing-mistress, Louisa Reichardt. She watched by the 
 death-bed, and writes afterwards to her brother : 
 
 * Blessed are those who suffer from home-sickness, for 
 they shall be brought home. Oh, dear friends ! at such 
 a moment something stirs in my soul, that I would fain 
 call home-sickness, and that fills my eyes, as I gaze 
 after my departed friend, with the tears of longing 
 desire. Yes, I long to follow her into the land of purer 
 love and higher freedom ; but my hour is not yet come ; 
 and when I look on the manifold impurities of my 
 deceitful heart, I feel that it is not likely to come soon,
 
 214 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 that I must have many a chastening conflict to pass 
 through first. Courage ! I will not let cowardice 
 make me shrink. Shall we not, dearest, cease to will 
 aught for ourselves whether to go or stay, content to 
 leave all to Him who alone doth all things well, all 
 whose ordinances for us are goodness and mercy.' 
 
 In February 1827, she is describing to Minna Hosch 
 her method of getting through her labours, for at this 
 time the preparation of her manuscript and the 
 correction for the press of her new book had greatly in- 
 creased her already numerous occupations. She says : 
 
 'Notwithstanding all this, you need not suppose 
 that I am in a constant hurry of business. Although 
 my engagements have now so much increased that I 
 scarcely know how to get through them, yet I have 
 accustomed myself to preserve a certain quietness 
 of mind amid them all. First, I raise my thoughts 
 to Grod, and ask Him as I go to my work for right 
 judgment and strength : " Lord help me, I am Thine ! " 
 Then, when I have thus assured myself of assist- 
 ance from above, I take up one thing in order after 
 another, or if several things are of equally pressing 
 necessity, I sometimes decide by lot which I shall 
 attack first ; next, I try to fix my whole thoughts on the 
 one thing which lies before me as if I had nothing else 
 to attend to. In this way I get on very well : what is 
 done is done systematically; my mind remains clear, and 
 does not feel oppressed by a multitude of demands on
 
 CONVERSATIONS WITH PASTOR GEIBEL. 215 
 
 its attention, and in the end I get through tolerably 
 well, so that it is very rarely that anything of real 
 consequence is left undone.' 
 
 In May of this year, her English relatives came again 
 to Germany on a visit, and Amelia accompanied them 
 to Liibeck for a week, where the life and the free inter- 
 change of thought among Christian friends, especially 
 in the house of Dr. Pauli where she used to stay, 
 always brought her great pleasure and refreshment. 
 This time she again found peculiar gratification in her 
 conversations with Pastor Geibel, and could not dismiss 
 the feeling, that more frequent intercourse with him 
 must necessarily be of the greatest assistance to her 
 spiritual life. She writes, however : 
 
 4 But as it is not practicable, it must be better 
 for me to be without it ; perhaps his personal in- 
 fluence might incline me to lean too much on man, 
 for I often feel that the Lord suffers me to stand alone, 
 that I may accustom myself to turn immediately to Him 
 on every occasion, and thus enter into closer fellowship 
 with Him, the true Fountain out of which the greatest 
 and holiest of men must draw all that renders them 
 either great or holy.' 
 
 Minna Hosch had now seen Amelia's second work, 
 and, as it seems, had expressed some differences of 
 opinion, for she answers in August : 
 
 ' With regard to your remarks on my book, they are 
 not unexpected to me, and I am very glad to find that
 
 216 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 you know me well enough to be sure that your out- 
 spokenness would not displease me. I feel too strongly 
 that my faith both raises me and makes me happy 
 not to be impelled to spread it, so far as the Lord gives 
 me strength and opportunity. But far be it from me 
 to wish to infringe any fellow-creature's sacred right of 
 free thought on these highest of all subjects, or per- 
 chance to condemn those who do not share all my own 
 religious views. He who strives after truth honestly 
 and earnestly, and walks in the truth so far as he 
 has recognised it, must always receive my honour and 
 esteem, even if his views should assume in many points 
 a different form from my own.' 
 
 Meanwhile Miss Sieveking was preparing for her 
 third course of classes with much quiet thought and 
 enjoyment, and she writes to Minna Hosch in December : 
 
 ' In thought I am already very often busied with this 
 new little circle ; I ponder over new methods, improved 
 arrangements ; I entreat my God for a new measure of 
 His Spirit, for new wisdom and love in my new work. 
 Ah ! if you did but know the deficiencies in all I have 
 done hitherto I will not say, as God knows them 
 but even as they stand before my own judgment, so 
 biassed by vanity, you would probably wonder that I 
 could have courage longer to continue such an im- 
 perfect work. And, in truth, my courage would fail 
 me, if I looked only to my own powers ; but I have set 
 my hope in the mercy of my God, and He will this
 
 INVITATION TO LUBECK. 217 
 
 is my glad confidence He will at last fashion Himself 
 a useful instrument out of this unserviceable one ; and 
 until then, I trust, this same grace will cover over 
 the thousand defects of my labours, and repair the 
 many faults I have committed. This confidence cheers 
 me when I am cast down by the thought that the 
 children may, in one way or other, have received some 
 injury to their soul's welfare through my shortcomings. 
 I wrestle with the Lord in prayer, that He would heal 
 such mischiefs, that He would spare me that one sorrow 
 to have been the cause of condemnation to any one of 
 them, that He would suffer no single one of the souls 
 committed to me to be lost through my sin ; and, behold, 
 sometimes I feel as if the Lord Himself spoke to me 
 and said : " What thou hast asked shall be ! thou shalt 
 find them all, all, gathered around my throne." ' 
 
 In the Spring of 1828 her Liibeck friends had again 
 cordially and pressingly invited Miss Sieveking to spend 
 another week amongst them, a visit which was always 
 a true rest to her. Yet she writes to her relations in 
 England : 
 
 ' Still I hesitated a long time whether I ought to 
 comply with this kindly-repeated invitation. It seemed 
 to me no small thing voluntarily to forsake the post 
 assigned to us, if only for a week, and such a step I 
 think should be very seriously weighed before (rod. Is 
 this a formalistic scrupulousness ? I know not ; but I 
 do know that it is only in proportion as I am strict
 
 218 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 with myself in deciding on any course of action that I 
 can carry it through cheerfully afterwards.' 
 
 However, Clotilda B happened just to have 
 
 arrived for a lengthened visit, and could therefore 
 supply her place with her mother ; her elder scholars 
 had been dismissed before Easter, and her new course 
 of classes was not to begin until May. The moment 
 seemed thus peculiarly favourable for a short absence, 
 and Amelia allowed herself to be persuaded, and went. 
 The conscientiousness and strictness towards herself 
 with which she acted on this, and indeed on all occa- 
 sions, small as well as great, deserve especial notice, 
 and ought never to be lost sight of in passing judgment 
 on any part of her conduct. 
 
 A letter addressed to her brother in England 
 in December of this year, and written, like so many 
 others, out of her inmost heart, contains much that 
 is characteristic. She says : 
 
 ' When I look back on my past course, the first feeling 
 that rushes over me is again, how much cause I have 
 to thank my Grod for my whole position in life. Yes, 
 my dear brother and sister, if all my fellow pilgrims 
 could accurately reckon up the sum of their blessings, 
 I believe but few would be found who could stand a 
 comparison with me. And ought I not to proclaim this 
 with joy? There are so many laments to be beard in 
 this world, with cause and without, should not there 
 sometimes resound a song of exultation? Truly the
 
 LETTER TO HER BROTHER. 219 
 
 name of the Lord may be glorified in lamentations, 
 nay, here below is sometimes most glorified in this way 
 of all others ; but our Father in heaven, doubtless, also 
 has pleasure when His children rejoice before Him, and 
 tell aloud the thousand causes for gladness that He has 
 bestowed. But who should sing for joy if I were mute ? 
 Think over all the rich blessings which my Saviour has 
 showered on me ; daily hours of stillness and solitude 
 when I can exercise myself in communion with Him ; 
 abundance of the means of grace, by which I may ob- 
 tain growing clearness in the knowledge of His word, 
 and thus a firmer hold on the faith and trust once 
 won through His grace ; health so unbroken that I 
 scarcely know what physical pain or physical weariness 
 means ; relations with so many dear friends, among 
 whom there are not a few who, though much farther 
 advanced in the spiritual life than I am, yet have 
 much friendship and regard for me, and gladly give 
 me aid in my own progress ; lastly, my daily occupation, 
 which is to me an ever new source of pleasure. And this 
 source is flowing now in a richer stream than ever 
 before. I cannot tell you, in words, what a fresh vivid 
 charm my work has acquired in this fresh circle of 
 children. It seems to me that every one whose busi- 
 ness it is to train childish minds for heaven, and to 
 whom it is not mere taskwork, but a labour of love, 
 must inevitably find his view of life growing freer, 
 brighter, and more beautiful as it goes on. At times,
 
 220 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEK1NG. 
 
 when I thus contemplate the thousandfold blessings 
 with which my God has crowned the outward as well as 
 the inward relations of my life, what Satan said to Job 
 occurs to me : " Doth Job fear God for nought ? Hast 
 not Thou made an hedge about him, and about his 
 house, and about all that he hath on every side ? Thou 
 hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is 
 increased in the land. But put forth Thine hand now 
 and touch all that he hath, and he will curse Thee to 
 Thy face." Oh how little cause have I, or others, to 
 think highly of a Christianity which has as yet been so 
 little tested by trial ! If now it should please the Lord 
 to take from me all, or a great part, of that to which 
 my heart clings beside Himself, if He were to send me 
 sickness and loneliness, ah ! and incapacity for all 
 active work and service, should I then remain true to 
 Him ? My heart trembles at the question, yet I venture 
 to hope it might be so, not through my own strength, 
 but through the grace of my (rod, who will not suffer 
 the work that He has begun in me to remain unfinished. 
 Do I not know with heartfelt conviction that with all 
 my imperfection I love my God not only for the sake 
 of His gifts, but truly love Himself, because He has 
 drawn near to my soul, and suffered some rays of His 
 glory to shine into it. But how much admixture of 
 alien elements my love has contained, will probably 
 never be fully known to me until I see it in the clearer 
 light kindled by affliction. There are moments when I
 
 PLEASURE IN HER NEW PUPILS. 221 
 
 could wish for this higher proof of my love by suffering, 
 but I should never venture to pray for it. No child is 
 sent to the high school before he has been duly prepared 
 in the elementary one. I would leave myself wholly in 
 God's hands ; when He sees that my strength is sufficient 
 and the time is come, purifying trials will not be want- 
 ing.' 
 
 And in truth, the spring of this happiness, this over- 
 flowing joyfulness, was, in Amelia's case, a yet deeper 
 one than could be supplied by satisfaction with her 
 calling, or by a position in life that answered to her own 
 wishes and wants. She herself, at a later period, bears 
 testimony to this in writing to her young friends : * 
 
 ' See, my dear ones, for this reason I have always 
 chosen that beautiful saying of the Apostle, " Eejoice in 
 the Lord always, and again I say rejoice," as my favourite 
 motto ; and I can fearlessly call on all those among you 
 to whom I am personally known, to say whether I have 
 not always avoided all gloom and melancholy of thought 
 or manner. As a guarantee that I have hit the right mark 
 on this point, I cannot but wish to tell you what was 
 once told to me on good authority about one of my 
 pupils, then a girl of twelve years old, that she had 
 asserted with much animation her resolution to " grow 
 up exactly like Aunt Milly," in order that she might be 
 "just such a happy old woman." Ah dear child, thy 
 
 * Conversations on Certain Passages of Holy Scripture. 1855.
 
 222 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 outward life has taken a very different form from mine ! 
 Thou art now a happy wife and mother ; but is it not 
 true that the deepest ground of thy happiness is no 
 other than this, that the living God has become the 
 Grod of thy salvation ? ' 
 
 It was by her present set of pupils that Amelia first 
 had herself called ' Aunt,' and she writes : 
 
 'You cannot think how sweet this name is to me, 
 and I believe, in fact, that I partly owe to it the more 
 clinging and childlike love of these little ones, which 
 makes me so very happy.' 
 
 About this time Miss Sieveking was greatly interested 
 by a more intimate acquaintance with Neander, who 
 had come from Berlin to Hamburg on a visit. She 
 says in the same letter to her brother : 
 
 'Neander's whole appearance indicates a man who 
 troubles himself little about the common concerns of 
 life, but lives apart, as it were, in a higher world of 
 faith and knowledge. His eye, overshadowed by its 
 black bushy eyebrow, is almost closed, only when some- 
 thing interests him more vividly than usual it opens a 
 little wider, and then his glance has both fire and in- 
 tellect. In general society he would never lead the 
 conversation ; he is monosyllabic in his replies, and 
 speaks so low, that one must be very near him to catch 
 what he says. Even in more familiar conversation, he 
 seems to me no friend to superfluous speeches ; des- 
 pising all rhetorical ornaments, he brings forward the
 
 ACQUAINTANCE WITH NEANDER. 223 
 
 deepest thoughts in short, almost disconnected sentences, 
 then is calmly silent, waiting for the reply, that he may 
 discover how far he has been understood, or whether it 
 is necessary to add further illustrations. Objections, 
 doubts, and opinions opposed to his own he listens to with 
 attention, even when very clumsily expressed. Many 
 might find his manners somewhat cold and dry, but only 
 let an opportunity arise of testifying to the love of Grod in 
 Christ, and it will soon be apparent, at least to any one 
 who is capable of such perceptions, how his whole being 
 is pervaded by a repressed glow of heavenly ardour, 
 which works, no doubt, but the more mightily, because 
 in him, more than in many pious men, it is concentrated 
 within the inner sanctuary, and is less mingled with 
 strange fire ; to me it is far more beautiful than the 
 crackling straw of mere feeling that flames up with 
 passing brightness, breaking out in a show of emotion 
 and in fine sentences on every occasion. I, at any 
 rate, felt myself wonderfully impressed when he was 
 speaking to me on that subject (the nature of Divine 
 inspiration) in his brief and simple manner. With all 
 his calm composure, what depth of feeling there was in 
 his look and tone, what a sense of unmistakeable and 
 profoundly felt truth in every word ! This, this, is truly 
 the life of his life, I could not but say to myself; and I 
 felt as if something of the fullness of this good spirit 
 in him infused itself also into my mind. Altogether I 
 must say, that the deep earnestness of his conversation,
 
 224 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 at once so simple and unassuming, and yet so powerful 
 to stir up other minds, has something in it peculiarly 
 attractive to me. After his departure though he 
 never addressed a word of regard to me I felt as 
 though a gap had been made in the circle of my friends. 
 Every one has his own gifts; precisely what I found in 
 Neander I can find in no one of my friends here. In 
 the spirit of the Apostle, who longed to become all 
 things to all men, he kindly invited me to write to him 
 whatever I wished to communicate ; but even if my 
 letter writing were a very different thing from what 
 it is, written intercourse is after all a very inefficient 
 substitute for actual living conversation.' 
 
 In compliance with the request of a relative, Miss 
 Sieveking had written out and sent to her an account 
 of her views and experiences with regard to the educa- 
 tion of children, and a friend obtained her permission 
 to make use of this letter in an article in the ' Evan- 
 gelical Journal.' It appeared there under the title, 
 * Account of a Christian School in Lower Saxony,' * and 
 under a slight veil of fiction, allowed the actual circum- 
 stances of the case to become so apparent, that the 
 original author was easily divined. This did not quite 
 please Amelia, and she writes : 
 
 * I had not expected to see it in this form, and had 
 the article been submitted to my judgment beforehand, 
 
 * Nos. 403 and 404 of the 'Evangelical Church Journal'
 
 PUBLICATION OF A LETTER. 225 
 
 I should certainly have had some objections to make, 
 though to alter it in any way would have been a ticklish 
 matter. However, this was not done, and now I have 
 no right to make complaints and accusations after- 
 wards, as I certainly did hand over my letter to my 
 friend, for such use as he might see fit. And if I am 
 to speak quite honestly, the affair is not so entirely 
 unpleasant to me as many of my friends imagine. On 
 the one hand, they give me credit for greater humility 
 than I really possess ; and on the other, I can see that 
 they have a different view from my own on the subject 
 of publicity in general, to which I cannot concede that 
 extraordinary importance that is ascribed to it by 
 many. The judgment of those individuals in whom I 
 recognise the working of the Spirit of God, does indeed 
 touch me closely, and here my vanity, alas ! often comes 
 into play ; the judgment of the many, on the contrary, 
 affects me in truth but very little. A number of 
 considerations crowd upon me with regard to this 
 subject, but I will only give you one or two. There is 
 a Day awaiting us all, when even the most secret coun- 
 sels of our hearts shall be brought to light before the 
 assembly of all peoples and of the holy angels. Com- 
 pared to this, what is any so-called publicity in Time ? 
 He who is truthful and consistent in his inward nature, 
 has no need, I think, to shrink before any human 
 being. Even as regards the children of Grod, we can 
 
 Q
 
 226 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 never so arrange our life as that their approbation should 
 rest on all our actions ; enough, if they recognise the 
 one childlike spirit in us, and therefore approach and 
 greet us as brethren and sisters in Christ. Their 
 censure is very wholesome, even in cases where we 
 cannot, in compliance with it, forsake the path once 
 entered upon. "Let him who buildeth a tower, sit 
 down first, and count the cost, whether he will be able 
 to finish it : " this saying should, I think, be present to 
 every one especially who is about to strike out a new 
 path for himself. The cost to be counted here is, 
 however, before all things, whether you have strength 
 and courage to allow the most various judgments to be 
 passed on you. He who does not feel himself strong 
 enough for this had better, if it be within his power, 
 quit betimes any unusual course, and return to the 
 well-worn paths of the customary and traditional ; he 
 will thus spare himself much tormenting disquiet and 
 perplexity. But if it is my own experience that has led 
 me to this remark, I can, thank Grod, also from my 
 own experience add another : he who has earnestly 
 and carefully counted the cost ere he begins his enter- 
 prise, and then takes his resolution with the inward 
 consciousness of a true vocation ; he who dares what- 
 ever he is called on to dare, not in his own strength, but 
 in sincere reliance on God's grace and in His name, 
 such an one may follow his own course cheerfully and
 
 OPINION OF OTHERS. 
 
 227 
 
 fearlessly, and preserve peace within, though thousands 
 blame him for it ; and that not merely the thoughtless 
 crowd whom we do not respect, and who generally know 
 not themselves what they mean and what they say, but 
 even those whom we highly esteem and whose good 
 opinion we greatly value.'
 
 228 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 1828-1831. 
 
 REPLY TO A WARNING AGAINST INTERCOURSE WITH 
 
 DISSENTERS VISIT IN THE SPRING TO LUBECK VISIT OF 
 
 HER BROTHER FROM ENGLAND AND JOURNEY TO LUBECK 
 SHE TAKES HER NEPHEW TO RATZEBURG CORRESPOND- 
 ENCE WITH THE FREIHERR VON STEIN OPERATION ON 
 
 MADAME BRUNNEMANN'S EYES GREAT PLEASURE IN 
 TEACHING. 
 
 HER brother in England had warned Amelia against 
 too eager an intimacy with the Dissenters in 
 Hamburg and their minister, Mr. Matthews, fearing that 
 it might endanger the free development of her own 
 religious faith and life. 
 
 She replies in April 1829 : 
 
 ' Thank you for your affectionate warning ; but I 
 believe I may quite set your mind at rest on that point. 
 I do not believe it would be easy for any one of my 
 Christian friends to acquire a dominant influence 
 over me, and this for several reasons. In the first 
 place, I never spend more than an occasional hour with 
 them (I scarcely see M. once in five or six weeks, and 
 then only for an hour) ; next, with all their unity on
 
 ENGLISH DISSENTERS IN HAMBURG. 229 
 
 the main point, there is great diversity of opinion 
 among them in minor matters and in the outward form 
 of their religious life, so that the influence of one would 
 be to some extent counteracted by the others; and 
 finally, I hate, from the bottom of my soul, all human 
 authority in matters of faith, and look upon our gospel 
 liberty as one of the most precious treasures of the 
 Protestant Church. And this deeply-rooted love of 
 liberty seems to me a good protection against precisely 
 that sort of influence which you most apprehend from 
 my connection with these dear English people, namely, 
 that I should allow them to narrow my conceptions of 
 Christianity too much. I can very well put up with 
 this narrowness in others, wherever I see that within its 
 boundaries there exists genuine and active spiritual life; 
 but as regards myself, this limitation within narrow 
 forms is simply impossible my whole being revolts 
 against it it would be doing violence to my nature to 
 force myself into it. Thus, I think you need not fear 
 that I should allow them to rob me of my free views 
 with regard to the completion of the kingdom of our 
 Lord Jesus Christ I do truly believe, that as I have 
 made this doctrine the subject of very earnest thought 
 and research, I am now efficiently equipped against all 
 the objections with which it might be assailed. At the 
 same time, I would never of my accord, without some 
 special reason, enter into argument about it ; and 
 hitherto I have carefully avoided all controversy in my
 
 230 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKJXG. 
 
 conversations with M., without, I hope, any cowardly 
 concealment of my conviction, unless you call silence, 
 where one is not called on to express an opinion, 
 disloyalty to the truth. For my own part, I am no 
 friend to much argument on religious doctrines, nor to 
 vehement controversy, although I acknowledge the 
 necessity of it in many cases that is, of controversy 
 in general, not of that unholy vehemence and bitterness 
 which are so often and easily mixed up with it. But 
 even where a man is on his guard, I think it too fre- 
 quently happens that he loses the practical enjoyment 
 of the truth in his very disputes to maintain it ; for in 
 defending it against the objections of an antagonist, it 
 must always be treated as something objective, while, 
 in the practical use of it, everything depends on our 
 appropriating it as something subjective, something that 
 we ourselves experience, and it is this of which I should be 
 so reluctant to lose my hold. When, therefore, I see that 
 any one of my friends differs so widely from me on some 
 point, that no approximation is likely to ensue from 
 prolonged discussion, and if he is as settled in his own 
 conviction as I am in mine, I do not readily feel myself 
 called on to make this subject the topic of conversation 
 between us. I would rather keep to those subjects in 
 which we can understand each other, and, most of all, 
 prefer to speak of that element of the Christian life in 
 which I recognise the other to be my decided superior. 
 Learning and teaching, to be alternately scholar and
 
 VISIT TO LUBECK. 231 
 
 instructor, is the great pleasure of my life, and I do not 
 know that I could decide in which of the two I find most 
 enjoyment. I cannot but wish, from my own experience, 
 to recommend this method of intercourse with pious 
 persons as calculated to promote love among the mem- 
 bers of the body of Christ, both as individuals and as a 
 society. At least I believe that I owe it chiefly to my 
 observance of the rule I have laid down, that I get on 
 so thoroughly well with people of the most opposite 
 tendencies assuming of course that they are one in the 
 main point and that I have derived manifold blessing 
 and profit from Ofossner and G-eibel, Matthews and 
 Neander ; learned men and pious artisans and their wives, 
 in whom the life rather than the knowledge of the faith 
 is to be found ; from believers who live in the world, 
 even in the fashionable world, and from others who have 
 chosen an almost conventual retirement.' 
 
 About her usual spring visit to her Liibeck friends, 
 Miss Sieveking writes to her brother : ' Any one who 
 knows with what numerous and powerful ties I am 
 chained to my home and my business, may guess how 
 strong must be the magnet that has power to draw me 
 away for a whole week. It seems to me, however, that 
 an occasional holiday is no bad thing, especially where 
 a person's energies are fully taxed as mine are ; nay, is 
 even wholesome and beneficial, however dear and pre- 
 cious, however easy and light may be the yoke of our 
 daily calling. In such hours of leisure one often attains
 
 232 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 freer, more elevated, and more comprehensive views of 
 life than fall to our lot amid the pressure of our daily 
 avocations ; we are refreshed in mind and body, and 
 return with new spirit and energy to our ordinary 
 employments.' 
 
 At Liibeck Miss Sieveking received the communion 
 with her friends of the Calvinistic Church, and ex- 
 perienced in so doing the blessedness of true spiritual 
 and Christian fellowship. Her journey to Hamburg 
 furnishes a striking instance of her uncommon physical 
 strength and health, which was certainly in no slight 
 measure assisted by the force of her will. She writes to 
 Minna Hosch in May : 
 
 'On the Saturday in Easter week I walked with 
 Pauli (her Liibeck friend) from Liibeck to Katzeburg. 
 We started at half-past two, talked almost incessantly the 
 whole way, walked at a good quick pace, never rested for a 
 moment, and reached the end of our journey about half- 
 past six. At Ratzeburg I had to talk over some business 
 of consequence with the master of the Grammar School, 
 Eector Arndt ; and as my time was very limited, I could 
 hardly manage to drink a cup of tea during our conversa- 
 tion. After settling all that was necessary, I got into 
 the post-chaise towards eight o'clock. The regular stage- 
 coach to Hamburg was gone when I arrived, so that I 
 was obliged to follow it in a post-chaise. About one 
 o'clock in the night I overtook it in Hamfelde, and 
 after taking a cup of coffee and a slice of bread and butter,
 
 POWER OF WORK. 233 
 
 I seated myself on the stage, which was quite open, was 
 well shaken over those bad roads, and reached Hamburg 
 safe and sound at nine o'clock in the morning. I felt 
 quite fresh and lively, made some visits in the forenoon, 
 and had my usual Sunday class of poor children in the 
 afternoon. Not till evening did I feel any weariness, and 
 an hour's extra sleep the next morning entirely restored 
 my powers. I must add, that I got into the post-chaise 
 with my feet wet through, as we had come upon a marshy 
 meadow in our walk, where the water came over my shoes. 
 You will probably think that such exertions are taking 
 an unwarranted liberty with my health, but I do not 
 think so. I really can do without any inconvenience 
 when others cannot, and ought the powers given me by 
 God to be left unused ? They certainly wear out more 
 rapidly from want of employment, than from moderate 
 exercise. No doubt I must concede, that there may be 
 an excess of exercise, but at what point the excess begins, 
 can only be determined by each individual for himself, 
 according to his own feelings. As regards myself, I 
 assure you, that I could not conscientiously do less than 
 I do now, for not merely a certain amount of occupation, 
 but positive hard work and as much as I can get through, 
 is as absolutely necessary to my well-being in the or- 
 dinary course of life as my daily bread. Nor with a 
 sufficient change of occupation can it easily lead to over- 
 fatigue, and between whiles there are always hours of 
 recreation, among which I reckon above all visits to my
 
 234 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 friends. Now-a-days too I sleep more than I used to 
 do. I found, when I did not go to bed until nearly 
 midnight, and rose again soon after four, that an 
 irresistible languor frequently came over me in the 
 afternoons, and made me unfit for any active exertion. 
 I saw therefore that such early rising really saved no 
 time, and that it would be wiser to remain a little 
 longer in bed.' 
 
 She writes in July to Minna Hosch : 
 * The pleasantest of recreations to me at all times is 
 intercourse with congenial friends, and it is not often 
 that a week passes over without my spending a few 
 hours in the evening with one or another. And I find 
 much pleasure too in making even passing acquaintance 
 with interesting strangers, many of whom I have the 
 opportunity of seeing. Do you remember how shy and 
 timid I always used to be in society? This painful feeling- 
 has quite disappeared now, and I think I could talk to 
 a king with self-possession ! But with those whom I 
 know to be as one with myself in that which is now the 
 great interest of my life I quickly become intimate, and 
 have made it a principle never to waste time in mere 
 formalities and empty phrases ; I rather endeavour at 
 once to get at something which may be a real gain to 
 the mind or heart, and in this way it has often happened 
 that I find myself deeply indebted, perhaps for both 
 time and eternity, to persons with whom I have only 
 passed a few fleeting hours, and whom I may never see
 
 INTERCOURSE WITH FRIENDS. 235 
 
 again on earth. And one reason among others which 
 makes the prospect of heaven so precious to me is, that 
 I confidently anticipate the resumption there of all 
 these passing relations here, to OUT mutual and ever- 
 growing profit and blessedness. Thus every parting- 
 brings that meeting more vividly before my eyes, and 
 what lies there in the future is for me so closely inter- 
 twined with what is round me here and now, that I can 
 scarcely look on any tie once formed as really broken.' 
 
 In the same letter she continues 
 
 ' Esteem, confidence, and love, especially that love 
 which has its root in Christ, fall to my share from many 
 quarters in far richer measure than I deserve. I respond 
 to it as fully as I can, and am happy in this interchange 
 of feeling. " Let every man," says St. Paul, " abide in 
 the same calling wherein he was called. As God hath 
 distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every 
 one, so let him walk." And I am well content with my 
 calling. If I do not hold the first place in any human 
 heart, yet in many the second or third or fourth is 
 mine, and there is ever the one heart that may become 
 mine with all the fullness of its love, the heart of my 
 God ; and what love is His !' 
 
 The spring of 1830 again brought Amelia the pleasure 
 of a visit from her brother, and of spending the Easter- 
 tide in communion with her friends at Liibeck. In 
 August of this year she took her eldest nephew to school 
 at Katzeburg, and as her engagements with her classes
 
 236 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 obliged her to go frequently into the town during the 
 summer months, a young girl was taken into the house 
 as companion to Madame Briinnemann, whose blindness 
 was rapidly increasing. Her wishes and plans for the 
 future Amelia kept silently but faithfully in her heart, 
 and when, in the autumn of 1830, she heard through a 
 friend that the celebrated minister of state, Freiherr von 
 Stein, was much occupied with the thought of founding 
 a Sisterhood of Mercy in the Protestant Church, she 
 believed she saw in this circumstance an indication of 
 Providence. She therefore wrote to him, and sent him 
 some essays on the subject, and received after a time 
 a friendly reply. 
 
 From this we take the following extract : 
 'I have but a very superficial knowledge of the 
 various institutions of nursing sisters, whether of the 
 Order of St. Carlo Borromeo, to which the convents in 
 France and Lorraine belong ; or that of St. Vincent de 
 Paul, which is followed by those in Germany. But in 
 visiting these institutions of both orders, what struck me 
 most was the expression of inward peace, repose, self- 
 renunciation, and pious cheerfulness on the counte- 
 nances of the sisters ; their quiet unobtrusive activity ; 
 their affectionate and successful treatment of the 
 patients under their charge. There was a grievous 
 contrast to all this in the appearance and manners of 
 so many single middle-aged women among us women 
 belonging to the middle and upper ranks of life, not
 
 LETTER FROM STEIN. 237 
 
 compelled by circumstances to earn their own living, 
 whose faces expressed the discontent of eager but disap- 
 pointed vanity, and whose unsatisfied pretensions and 
 want of occupation filled them with a bitter sense of the 
 emptiness of life, rendering them unhappy in themselves 
 and a burden to others. Naturally, too, this unfortunate 
 condition had an injurious influence on their health. 
 The question seemed natural, why are not institutions 
 similar to those charitable sisterhoods to be found 
 among the Protestant Churches? Your resolution, 
 Madam, to found such an institution, is in the highest 
 degree useful and praiseworthy. I would suggest, 
 however, that you would find it very instructive to 
 make yourself thoroughly acquainted with the sister- 
 hood at Nancy in Lorraine. . . . Such an acquaintance 
 with the extensive institutions already existing is most 
 desirable, and, with the present increase in the means 
 of communication, the journey is neither difficult nor 
 fatiguing. It would be easy to procure you letters of 
 introduction to the Superior.' 
 
 For the present, however, none of these projects 
 took effect, for the claims of the nearer duties of 
 domestic life became too pressing. In November 
 1830, Madame Briinnemann submitted to two opera- 
 tions on one of her eyes, and became seriously ill in 
 consequence. Amelia had a bed made on the floor in 
 her mother's room, and slept or watched there for many 
 weeks ; yet she did not relinquish the daily instruction
 
 238 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 of her children, during which hours her place in the 
 sick-room was filled by the servant or friends; only 
 on a few occasions was she obliged to omit her classes. 
 The double strain on her attention and strength was 
 however so great, that she was forced to give up for the 
 time all intercourse with friends out of the house. 
 Madame Briinnemann lost the sight of one eye com- 
 pletely, and with the other was now only able to 
 distinguish colours. Amelia writes in May 1831, to 
 Minna Hosch, on what she had gone through in the 
 last few weeks : 
 
 ' My dear mother's state of mind under this new and 
 heavy trial has been, on the whole, such as I could 
 heartily rejoice in; her general mood is one of gentle 
 silent resignation. And how stands it with myself in this 
 respect ? Ah ! dear Minna, I must own I have found out 
 how much easier it is to preach to others of the blessings 
 of the cross than to perceive and appropriate them when 
 it comes to be laid on oneself. No doubt I might and 
 ought to have done so far more than I did, yet I hope 
 I may say with truth that this period has not gone by 
 without leaving me some blessing.' 
 
 Most refreshing to Miss Sieveking, after her long and 
 trying winter, was the summer residence at Othmar- 
 schen. On May 22, she writes to Minna Hosch : 
 
 4 As to the enjoyment of nature and this beautiful 
 open country, I am limited almost entirely to our own 
 little garden, for my mother has not strength and I
 
 ENJOYMENT OF SCENERY. 239 
 
 have not time for longer expeditions. But why should 
 I not be able to take delight in the works of my God 
 even in this narrow space, which is at any rate free 
 from city noise and city artificialness ? The God of 
 Nature and the God of Revelation is one and the 
 same God : I could not feel such keen delight in His 
 presence in creation had I not learnt to know Him in 
 the Bible; but, again, when the contemplation of His 
 visible works has led the eye of faith up to Himself, 
 the Invisible Maker, I return with new enjoyment to 
 His Word, and my senses seem opened afresh to the 
 miracles of His grace. Many persons, probably, think 
 me less impressible by the beauties of nature than I 
 really am ; partly because I never can say much about 
 these things, partly because such impressions are always 
 the most vivid with me when I am quite alone, and un- 
 disturbed meditation can impart a higher consecration to 
 the feelings stirred up within me. At those times there 
 comes over me a feeling of peace, a softened emotion, 
 and often a longing that does not oppress but expand the 
 heart towards the glories awaiting us above, which words 
 are too poor to express.' . . . Further on she says : 
 4 Among the many pleasures which fall to my lot in 
 life, I must always place my labours for my children at 
 the head. Many other pleasures have no longer the 
 charm for me that they once had, but my vocation 
 grows dearer to me the longer I follow it. True, it 
 makes constantly increasing demands on my powers
 
 240 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 and time, and I work harder, very much harder, for 
 my present set, than I used to do formerly. Whenever 
 anything occurs to me, which I think would render 
 my influence on these young minds more beneficial, or 
 my instruction more complete, I feel impelled to try it 
 at once, with out hesitating about the augmented expense 
 of time and strength that it may entail. That with all 
 this my method remains most imperfect, I feel vividly ; 
 at least in my better moments, and if, as I confess not 
 seldom happens, vanity and self-complacency for a while 
 conceal these numerous deficiencies from me, my 
 faithful Heavenly Teacher takes care erelong to point 
 them clearly out anew through humbling failures.'
 
 241 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 1831. 
 
 THE CHOLERA MISS SIEVEKING OFFERS HER SERVICES 
 
 AS NURSE IN THE HOSPITAL OPINIONS ON THIS STEP 
 
 SHE ENTERS ON HER WORK. 
 
 AND now the time had arrived when Miss Sieveking 
 felt herself summoned to take a step which, in the 
 eyes of the world, had something unusual in it, and was 
 judged by that world accordingly. The Cholera, that 
 new terror-inspiring spectre of our age, was sweeping 
 over Europe with ever accelerating swiftness, and as it 
 approached Hamburg, a resolve gradually ripened in 
 Amelia's mind which cannot shock, and indeed ought 
 hardly to startle, any one who has followed the progress 
 of her life and character up to this point with insight 
 and sympathy. For those who have seen and estimated 
 the conscientiousness which governed all her conduct, 
 how she examined every action, small or great, before 
 (rod, how little she consulted flesh and blood or her own 
 wishes and opinions, and how evidently she had been 
 prepared for an emergency of this kind before it arose, 
 will not be able to help reposing full confidence in the 
 
 R
 
 242 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHEL1TINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 motives that now actuated her conduct. They will not 
 be ready with the blame which was bestowed on this 
 part of her life by many persons who, if they had 
 honestly searched their own hearts, might probably have 
 found there less courage for self-sacrifice, less power of 
 self-control, less earnest self-scrutiny, than they could 
 not but concede to her whom they censured. The world 
 indeed generally blames any action which it does not 
 comprehend, and yet instinctively feels to be contrary to 
 its mode of thought; while it is most lenient in its 
 judgment of all, however harmful in its consequences, 
 that harmonises with its own spirit. But right- 
 minded persons, who acknowledge and strive after a 
 higher life, ought to guard against making common 
 cause with the world ; they ought above all things to take 
 into account the character and motives of the person in 
 question, and at least to reserve their judgment, though 
 the step may strike them as unusual and not imme- 
 diately intelligible. But the very contrary of all this 
 generally happens, and doubtless this habit must have a 
 deep root in human nature. What is presumed to be a 
 wish to ' appear better than other people ' is reckoned 
 among the most unpardonable of crimes, and even the 
 most reasonable become intolerant in their judgment of 
 everything that they choose to include in this category. 
 But the over-ruling Love doubtless makes use of the 
 temptations which the misconstructions of its fellow- 
 beings bring upon a soul as a means of discipline and
 
 APPEARANCE OF THE CHOLERA. 243 
 
 education, and in the often most painful heat of this 
 trial the noble metal is purged of its dross, and the heart 
 is prompted to deeds done for (rod's sake alone. Such 
 was the case with Amelia Sieveking, and hence for her 
 there sprang a peculiar reward out of this solemn expe- 
 rience. Concerning her resolution itself, she expresses 
 herself at the time to Minna Hosch in her peculiarly 
 simple manner : 
 
 * As I am about to take a very serious step in life, I 
 think it a duty to inform you of it. . . . . . For the 
 
 time that the cholera may prevail here, and it has 
 distinctly appeared a week ago, I have devoted myself 
 to hospital service. Mother, my dear good mother, 
 has given her full consent and blessing, and my place 
 with her will be supplied during these weeks or months 
 by a very dear young girl. From the fears of the parents, 
 my school would probably have had but a very small 
 attendance. At all events it seems to me that my position 
 is sufficiently unshackled to justify this resolution. Like 
 everything out of the common course, this step meets 
 with very differing judgments, and while some certainly 
 think more of it than it really deserves, many blame 
 and some despise it. But for this I was prepared, and 
 in such cases, if I once feel clear in my own mind before 
 God, these things cannot make me doubt my decision. 
 I see in them only the chastening grace of my Saviour, 
 who thus prepares me an antidote against the whispers 
 of self-love, which is but too ready to set an over-high 
 
 B 2
 
 244 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEEING. 
 
 value on one's own deeds. I have not the slightest fear 
 of infection ; and as far as this danger is concerned I can 
 enter the hospital as calmly as my school-room. This 
 absence of all dread is unanimously said by the physicians 
 to be the best preservative against illness, and hence 
 nurses, comparatively speaking, very rarely die from in- 
 fection. So you see there is no need for you to feel any 
 painful anxiety on my account. Of course I cannot deny 
 the possibility that the Lord may summon me from this 
 hospital service here to His service in heaven ; but, dear 
 Minna, would not that in itself be a certain sign that 
 I had lived enough on earth ? and do you not believe 
 that if my Grod thus called me to death He would also 
 prepare me for it, and that through my Saviour's grace 
 it would be only the beginning of a higher life ? Yes, 
 I stand fast here : if we live we live unto the Lord, and 
 if we die we die unto the Lord : whether therefore we 
 live or die, we are the Lord's; and with this certainty the 
 thought of death in the hospital has no power to shake 
 me.' 
 
 That Miss Sieveking saw in this voice within at such 
 a time the long-expected token from above that the 
 moment had come when she might put her hand to the 
 work, and believed herself to be taking the first step 
 towards the establishment of her Sisterhood of Mercy, 
 needs hardly to be said. She inserted in a journal, the 
 'Bergdorf Messenger,' an appeal to other Christian 
 persons to offer themselves with her for this pious office,
 
 ENTEES THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 245 
 
 but her letter found no response, or at least no audible 
 one, for no one else came forward. Amelia meanwhile 
 put her own services at the disposal of the Board 
 of the lately-formed Cholera Hospital of St. Eric on 
 the Hollandisch Brook in Hamburg (there was a second 
 in the suburb of St. Paul), and was summoned when 
 the first female patient was brought in, on the 13th 
 of October, 1831. She packed up her things and took 
 leave of her nearest friends and her beloved mother, 
 who at first had felt little dread of the disease, but 
 now, disturbed by the suggestions of others, was almost 
 repenting the consent she had given. This naturally 
 rendered the parting much harder to both ; but Amelia 
 had no longer the power or the right to draw back, and 
 confident in a still higher sanction, she went to her 
 work with a composed mind and firm courage. 
 
 The letters which she wrote from the hospital to her 
 friends were first fumigated and then copied out by 
 other hands, and her isolation from the outward world 
 during the earlier part of her stay was complete. The 
 most graphic picture of her life and labours in the 
 hospital, during the eight weeks she spent there, is 
 given in these letters to her mother, written hurriedly 
 amid a thousand interruptions, and with a simplicity and 
 unostentatious humility which may be called truly mag- 
 nanimous, considering the circumstances of the writer. 
 They shall speak for themselves, and are given here entire, 
 with the exception of a few quite unimportant omissions.
 
 246 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 'October 14th, 1831. 
 
 ' My dear and beloved Mother, The first moment of 
 leisure that I find here it is now 10 A.M. my heart 
 impels me to send you word how I am getting on. The 
 house-steward and the other officials show me every 
 attention that I could possibly look for, and in the 
 housekeeper I have unexpectedly found an old ac- 
 quaintance, as I used to see her occasionally before 
 her marriage. Two female patients are all that are 
 under my charge at present, yet I and another nurse 
 have been fully occupied hitherto. In the men's ward 
 there are so far more attendants than patients, and I 
 hear that the physician declares that each sick person 
 properly ought to have two. My patients are both 
 elderly women : one, the wife of a soldier, pleases me 
 extremely by the tenderness she expresses for her 
 husband, her cheerful willingness to follow every pre- 
 scription, the thankful gratitude with which she 
 receives every little service, the modesty which makes 
 her constantly afraid of giving us too much trouble. 
 This morning, too, to my great pleasure, she expressed a 
 wish to hear a short morning prayer. The other is 
 much more ill, and hence is able to speak but very 
 little, but, I am told, is also a good honest woman. 
 Nor is my under-nurse amiss, but she seems to me to 
 need supervision. As far as I know, two deaths have 
 occurred in the hospital since I came in, but the doctors 
 have good hopes of both my patients. Last night I
 
 LIFE IN THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 247 
 
 was able to lie down on my bed for most of the time 
 between four and half-past six in the morning. My 
 dear mother may be assured that I will not unneces- 
 sarily exhaust my strength by night-watching, against 
 which Dr. Siemers also kindly warns me. I have no 
 feelings of disgust or nausea to combat ; I eat my 
 breakfast beside my cholera patients with just as good 
 an appetite as usual. Coffee is brought to me in the 
 ward early in the morning, and afterwards, about 
 eleven, some bread and butter ; I might have either tea 
 or wine with it, but have declined both, and to-morrow 
 I mean to decline the butter, for the nurses have none, 
 and it is very unpleasant to me to enjoy indulgences 
 in their presence which are not permitted to them ; 
 besides, I think the best way of keeping them content 
 will be to take the lead myself in any act of self-denial. 
 On the other hand, I enjoy having my dinner and supper 
 with the other officers of the establishment. There are 
 seven of us at table the house-steward and his wife, 
 the physician, Dr. Siemssen, the surgeon, the apothecary, 
 and the secretary. Yesterday evening, when the second 
 of my women was brought in, I hear that some dis- 
 turbance took place in the neighbourhood, the neigh- 
 bours opposing her removal; however, when some of 
 her relatives came to inquire after her, my soldier's wife 
 assured them that "no lord could be better looked 
 after than they were." 
 
 'My beloved mother, bless your Amelia in spirit
 
 248 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 once more, as you blessed her at parting yesterday 
 afternoon ! 
 
 ' Madame B. the housekeeper does not enter the ward 
 at all, as she is a very nervous person, and is afraid of 
 the shock it might give her. But enough of this gossip.' 
 
 'Sunday, October loth. 
 
 ' Our hopes of our two female patients have not been 
 fulfilled; the poor soldier's wife died yesterday evening, 
 the other earlier in the afternoon. As no fresh cases 
 were brought to this ward, I proposed to Drs. Siemers 
 and Siemssen that they should send me to any out- 
 patients they might have, and summon me back when 
 there was something to do here. But both gentle- 
 men refused to hear of it, and maintained that I 
 could be of much more use in the house, if I would 
 consent to take the entire superintendence of the men's 
 wards. I objected at first that the men would probably 
 refuse to submit to my authority, but the physicians 
 replied that they would take care of that. The ten 
 attendants were then presented to me, and so expressly 
 commanded to obey my orders, under pain of immediate 
 dismissal, that I think I need not fear any open resist- 
 ance. Here, I believe, I really can do some good, for 
 several of these men seem to me very inexperienced 
 nurses. Last night of course I had no need to sit up, 
 but I rose twice to make the round of the wards and 
 see that the night-attendants were doing their duty.
 
 LIFE IN THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 249 
 
 This morning about half-past six another woman was 
 brought in, but she was already so far gone that 
 Siemssen considered the case hopeless from the first. 
 She suffered so terribly, that she sighed for death as a 
 release, and after about five hours her desire was 
 granted. The nurse in the women's ward has already 
 had enough of this work, and this afternoon gave up 
 her post, so that I am now alone. This evening 
 another woman is coming, for if any very severe case is 
 brought in during the night, it is absolutely necessary 
 to have two nurses on the spot, to do what is required ; 
 with the best will possible one cannot manage it 
 alone.' 
 
 1 Sunday morning. 
 
 * Before the new nurse arrived a female patient was 
 brought in, and soon afterwards another ; both, how- 
 ever, were so ill, that they could not be saved. With one 
 of them, a native of Vierlanden, her sufferings, which 
 lasted the whole night, reached a point that I had never 
 seen yet. 
 
 * My new nurse is a very stupid woman, but as soon as 
 a second is required Dr. Siemers has promised to send me 
 E., who I have been told by one of the best attendants 
 in the. men's ward wishes for the post. My relation to 
 these men is as pleasant as I could wish. As all of them 
 properly belong to some other business, they are the more 
 willing to accept any suggestions from me, and since 
 I am of course always ready to meet their wishes in any
 
 250 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 reasonable matter, and have procured some changes in 
 their favour, I seem to have gained their confidence; at 
 any rate, they prefer to bring all their requests to me. 
 At the same time I let them see that I have made myself 
 acquainted with every detail of their duties, and that 
 the least deviation that comes under my eye is re- 
 ported to the physician. In the men's wards there are 
 several convalescents. 
 
 ( From the nature of the disease, any introduction of 
 religious topics is quite out of the question in most 
 cases ; where there is any scope for it, however, it is not 
 merely allowed, but in one special case I was expressly 
 requested by Dr. Siemers to converse with a patient, &c.' 
 
 'Monday evening, 6 P.M. 
 
 ' I will try whether I can now send my dear mother 
 some report of myself, if only in a very fragmentary 
 way. All to-day I have not had a quarter of an hour 
 when it was possible. But before relating anything of 
 my life here, thanks, warmest thanks, to my beloved 
 mother for her lines, which gave me such great pleasure. 
 Several more female patients have died, and at this 
 moment a poor old woman of seventy-four, who lies 
 opposite the table on which I am writing, is dying. If 
 I am not mistaken, she has been a very bad, wicked 
 woman, and she has given us very great trouble, but 
 now the strength which showed itself only in riotous 
 outbursts of passion is quelled for ever; she is lying
 
 LIFE IN THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 251 
 
 quite quiet, and I am watching by her for her last 
 breath, as I have to report any death immediately to 
 the physician.' 
 
 ' Two hours later. 
 
 e The old woman is dead, and now again we have but 
 two patients in the women's ward. One thirty-two years 
 old, who had led I fancy not a very respectable life, still 
 seems not to have lost all sense for better things ; the 
 other, between fifty and sixty, is I am sure an ex- 
 cellent woman, and interests me exceedingly by her 
 modesty and thankfulness. She is a laundress, and the 
 disease was brought on probably by a violent chill. Dr. 
 Siemssen assures me that he fully expects to bring her 
 through, and has hopes, though less confident, of the 
 other. If it prove so, these will be the first recoveries 
 among the women. 
 
 ' My occupations are very various and full of interest 
 for me, but are not easy to write down.' 
 
 '11 P.M. 
 
 * I share the night-watching with the two nurses, and 
 find very little inconvenience from it. When I feel 
 fatigued I lie down for an hour in the day-time, which 
 is better than .taking a whole night to myself, for as 
 superintendent of the men's wards I have to make my 
 rounds there every few hours by night as well as by day.' 
 
 ' Tuesday. 
 
 * In the morning I have to see that, before the phy- 
 sician's visit, all the wards are cleaned, the beds made,
 
 252 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 and that everything is in proper order. Three times 
 a day, morning, afternoon, and evening, I visit the 
 sick-beds in company with the physician, the surgeon, 
 and the apothecary, when Dr. Siemssen gives to each 
 the directions belonging to our respective departments. 
 
 ' In the women's ward, of course, I have to pay 
 particular attention to all the medical orders, as I am 
 responsible there for their exact fulfilment. 
 
 * In the men's wards my special duty is only to 
 observe what diet is prescribed, according to which I 
 draw up the daily bill of fare for the housekeeper. 
 Not unfrequently, too, I have to send the necessary 
 notice of his admission to the relatives of the sick 
 man, as the patients are often brought in unknown 
 to their family. The linen of the wards is also under 
 my charge. At present I also occasionally take part, 
 where I see any need for it, in the actual nursing of the 
 men, but if the number of our patients should greatly 
 increase, I should be obliged to do less of this even in the 
 women's ward, as the general superintendence would be 
 of more importance, and would give me full occupation ; 
 but it would then be of great use to me that I have 
 thus acquired experience in the treatment of the 
 patients.' 
 
 'Noon. 
 
 f I told you before of our social meals, but we rarely all 
 meet now, as first one, then another, is hindered by
 
 LIFE IN THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 253 
 
 business, and at dinner both the physician and surgeon 
 are generally absent, as both have autopsies at half-past 
 one. The young Dr. Siemssen is, as far as I can judge, an 
 excellent hospital doctor, decided, firm, vigorous, kindly 
 and attentive. He always listens readily to my sugges- 
 tions about the patients, and meets my wishes as far as 
 he can ; indeed his whole conduct towards myself is 
 all that I could desire. 
 
 * From all that goes on in the outer world we are quite 
 isolated at least I am. I hear scarcely anything but 
 what comes to me in letters, which I am often unable to 
 read for some time. Of new faces I see plenty, 
 especially doctors who come to inspect the hospital, but 
 conversation with them is quite out of the question at 
 most we may exchange a few words about the patients. 
 When the great fire happened lately in the city I ob- 
 served it at once, as I was sitting up at the time, but I 
 forbade the nurses to mention it before the patients, lest 
 it should excite or alarm them. At dinner I asked the 
 gentlemen where it was, and not one of them had heard 
 that there had been any fire at all. 
 
 ' Since yesterday I have a small sitting-room and bed- 
 room to myself, close to the ward, which were not ready 
 when I came. Of course I cannot spend much time there, 
 but it is pleasant to have a place of refuge where it is 
 possible to be alone for a few moments, &c.'
 
 254 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 ' October 21st. 
 
 ' I have not been able to write to my dear mother for 
 these few days; for though I sometimes had half an 
 hour to spare, it was always when I was feeling very 
 tired and in great need of rest, and then I remembered 
 my dear mother's warning against over-exertion, and 
 lay down on my bed instead of writing. 
 
 * Of course I cannot be relieved from the night-watch- 
 ing, as so far, contrary to my expectations, I have been 
 more engaged in the men's wards than in the women's, 
 and there my supervision is most needed when the 
 other officials are sleeping. In order not to carry the 
 watching too far, however, I have now arranged that I 
 sit up till half-past twelve, then lie down till three, 
 when I am called to make a round of the men's wards ; 
 this takes about an hour or more, according to circum- 
 stances, and then I go to bed again until six.' 
 
 4 October 22nd, morning. 
 
 ' Last night by the doctor's order, and as there were 
 no cases requiring peculiar care, I slept somewhat 
 longer, and contented myself with making my three 
 rounds. I feel quite strong and refreshed, and shall 
 need no sleep in the course of the day; so I shall 
 employ every spare moment in writing to my dear, 
 dear mother, whose kind note has made me so happy 
 this morning. ... A few days ago I received a strange 
 request. A woman, who was quite a stranger to me,
 
 LIFE IN THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 255 
 
 asked to speak to me alone, and adjured me, if I really 
 cared to save human life, to employ a remedy for the 
 patients which she would entrust to me gratuitously for 
 that purpose. It had been discovered by a Professor 
 Muth about a hundred years ago, who, during a de- 
 solating attack of pestilence in Frankfort-on-Maine, had 
 saved many hundreds from death by its means, and she 
 had tried its efficacy against cholera both in her own 
 case and that of a grandchild. Of course I told her 
 that I could do nothing without the consent of the 
 physician ; and then, in the hope, no doubt, of inducing 
 me to comply with her entreaty, she confided to me 
 that she belonged to the family of Professor Muth, and 
 was the mother of that unhappy journeyman painter 
 who was condemned to twenty-three years' imprison- 
 ment for murder, and that she, in her inexpressible 
 misery, had placed her last hope on this remedy, by the 
 use of which she hoped to lay the city under an obligation 
 to her which might bring about a commutation of the 
 sentence. I pitied from the bottom of my heart the grief 
 which was deeply imprinted on her countenance, but of 
 course I could not accede to her proposal on this ground, 
 and so at last she gave me permission to lay the matter 
 before Dr. Siemssen. He entered into it very kindly as 
 far as he could, and said at last that he would allow the 
 use of the remedy in cases where all other means had 
 failed. In one such it was tried, but unfortunately, as 
 might be expected, without effect.
 
 256 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKTNG. 
 
 * I spoke yesterday of odd quarters of an hour that I 
 meant to employ in -writing to my dear mother, but I 
 was scarcely able to find one available for this purpose. 
 In the odd minutes of leisure that I sometimes have, I 
 feel the most pressing need of turning to my Grod in 
 prayer, otherwise amid all this outward turmoil I might 
 drift away from what is the true anchorage of my life. 
 The day before yesterday I went out for the first time, 
 partly to make some purchases, partly to make 
 enquiries for a new nurse, and Dr. Siemssen also 
 thought it would do me good to breathe the fresh air 
 for once. . . . For the rest, I endeavour to give myself 
 up entirely to the duties of my present position ; I find 
 satisfaction in them, and meet the future with calmness. 
 And what are a few weeks! How soon will they 
 be past, and I shall be permitted once more to embrace 
 my beloved mother with a heightened consciousness of 
 all that I possess in her affection ! ' 
 
 ' October 29th. 
 
 ' Though I got almost no sleep at all last night, as 
 we had several very bad cases, one more especially 
 whom four persons had to hold constantly, yet I feel 
 no particular weariness, and my heart urges me to 
 avail myself of a leisure moment to send my dear 
 mother some news of my progress. In truth the Lord 
 strengthens me physically for my work in a remarkable 
 manner. In my earlier days here, when I had much to
 
 LIFE IN THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 257 
 
 struggle with in my own feelings, I felt myself much 
 exhausted, but now that entire serenity, clearness, 
 and calmness have returned to my mind, I am also 
 fresh and strong in body. For some days I was 
 very hoarse, but this has also passed over. I have 
 an excellent appetite, and eat more than at. home ; it 
 almost seems as if what I lose in sleep were made up 
 to me by the larger quantity of food I take. You 
 know I am not fond of talking about health in general, 
 but under the present circumstances I know that such 
 details are of value to my dear mother. On Wednes- 
 day our good doctor, who had been suffering for some 
 days from a severe cold, was obliged to keep his bed, 
 and was seized with sickness, &c., so that some began 
 to fear that it would prove to be an attack of cholera ; 
 a young Dr. Moller, who undertook his visits in the 
 wards for him that morning, became so unwell towards 
 noon that he was obliged to go home ; one of the male 
 attendants began to suffer in the same way, and 
 several to complain more or less, hoping, perhaps, 
 thus to obtain some alleviation of their heavy duties. 
 The number of these attendants now amounts to sixteen, 
 that of the nurses to four ; and all the fresh arrivals are 
 placed formally under my orders by Dr. Siemssen, as 
 the first were, so that I have quite a new kingdom now. 
 I do not rule my kingdom with a rod of iron, however ; 
 I should not know how to manage it if I wished, and 
 should not wish it if I could. My orders are generally 
 
 s
 
 258 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 given as requests, and for myself I make as few de- 
 mands as possible, that I may be able the more autho- 
 ritatively to demand all I need for the patients. Any 
 neglect of them, of course, I never overlook ; but, on 
 the other hand, I am always glad when I can in 
 any way lighten the work of the attendants, and show 
 myself ready to meet their wishes. In this way I 
 have succeeded so far in maintaining a good under- 
 standing with them all, and not one has caused me any 
 annoyance by opposition to my orders. Among the 
 duties of my post is the charge of all the linen belong- 
 ing to the attendants, which needs no little care to give 
 each his own, as scarcely any of the things are marked. 
 In general, as I remarked before, this hospital work is a 
 capital school for order. So far, thank God, I think I 
 have never forgotten anything of consequence ; twice I 
 put down one diet of food too few in my list for 
 
 Madame B , but fortunately something had been 
 
 added in the kitchen, so that what was required was 
 easily furnished from the rest. Another time I lost the 
 key of a store-closet, but happily I discovered that it 
 was missing, in time to have another key ready before 
 any stores from that closet were required. I have 
 occasion here to learn much that I think will be of 
 great value to me hereafter. On the whole, I am cer- 
 tainly at present called to the work of Martha rather 
 than Mary, but this is quite right. It is enough if the 
 Lord will but employ me in His service, the mode I
 
 LIFE IN THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 259 
 
 leave entirely to Him. If I could but perform the 
 labours of Martha with the quiet mind of Mary ! but 
 I am far from attaining this at present. Now and then, 
 too, I find an opportunity for practising something of 
 Mary's work : when it is suitable which certainly 
 happens very rarely I read aloud portions of some 
 religious work to my nurses and patients ; and in the 
 convalescents' ward I have been requested by some to 
 procure them something to read. I gave them various 
 little collections of prayers, and sent to the Christian 
 Circulating Library for some other works of a more 
 entertaining character. The following day I was 
 greatly pleased at being voluntarily asked by some of 
 the readers for a Bible, that they might look out the 
 texts referred to, and I immediately procured two for 
 them. Besides this, it is possible from time to time 
 to say a few words to a patient ; but it must be owned 
 that many pass away, who have been from the first 
 seizure too much overwhelmed by the pains and the 
 exhaustion of illness, to be capable of directing one 
 earnest thought to God or eternity. 
 
 'The day before yesterday we dismissed the first con- 
 valescents from the women's ward ; two servant-maids, 
 good creatures, who took leave of me with tears in their 
 eyes. On the same day a poor emaciated lad of per- 
 haps twelve years old was brought into the men's ward. 
 I declared, however, that all children belonged to 
 the women's ward, and my request was immediately
 
 260 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHEL3IINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 granted by the physicians, which pleased me the more, 
 as the little fellow has really a very amiable and affec- 
 tionate disposition. This morning I offered him a 
 fresh biscuit; he would not take it, but said he could do 
 very well with half an old one, which had been lying 
 beside his bed from the day before. When I pressed 
 him to take it, he told me that he wanted to be allowed 
 to keep the fresh biscuit for a younger sister, and only 
 by assuring him that I would take care she should not 
 miss it, could I prevail on him to eat it. 
 
 * The gentlemen of the Special Commission are almost 
 too kind to me, for, in spite of all my protestations, they 
 have insisted on furnishing my little private-room com- 
 pletely. This rather oppresses me, for in such an 
 institution as this every expense not absolutely neces- 
 sary seems to me wrong ; and this arrangement for my 
 room really is unnecessary, as I cannot live in it, but 
 am obliged to be almost incessantly in the wards. 
 
 'I have had the daily refreshment of receiving several 
 letters from my friends, which are my only link at 
 present with the outside world, as I cannot find time 
 even to look over the weekly papers.' 
 
 ' November 3rd, 11 P.M. 
 
 'As night closes in, after a very busy day, I turn to my 
 dear mother, with whom I long to converse a little in 
 spirit as I sit here with one nurse, watching our patients 
 who are just at present unusually quiet. How much I
 
 LIFE IX THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 261 
 
 was touched by your lines of yesterday, and how I should 
 have liked to send a few words in reply at once ! But to 
 be matron of an hospital and write letters in a morning, 
 are two things that cannot go together. 
 
 * I continue very well in health, and it is really 
 remarkable what a degree of physical strength is given 
 me from above. In this point at least my opinion of 
 myself has been fully justified. Thus, last night, when 
 a sick woman was brought in who required close 
 attendance, I did not get to bed until four o'clock in the 
 morning ; at half-past six I had to rise again, and at 
 seven my coffee was brought, but at eleven I had never 
 yet found a moment in which I could drink it; and, 
 with the exception of the time when I was writing out 
 the list of diets, half an hour at dinner, half an hour in 
 the afternoon when I had a cup of tea in my own room, 
 and half an hour in the evening when I read aloud from 
 a devotional work in my ward, I have never sat down ten 
 minutes together in the whole day, and yet I feel no 
 trace of fatigue. And my dear mother must not imagine 
 this to be the result only of excitement : my mind is 
 perfectly quiet and composed ; indeed I feel better when 
 there is a great deal to do ; an inactive life in an hospital 
 would be indeed something terrible. No doubt what 
 helps to keep me well in spite of my great physical 
 exertions is the amount of exercise I take in passing 
 from one ward to another, which takes me out of the 
 close atmosphere of the wards into the fresh air of the
 
 262 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 corridors. This enables me to do perfectly well without 
 walks in the open air, and without the "Hofmann's 
 Drops" to which my nurses often have recourse.' 
 
 ' November 5th, evening. 
 
 i Surely my dear mother knows that I often long to 
 see her, often wish for the moment when we shall meet 
 again ! and I almost think that this moment may not 
 be so far off now. I certainly have not seen the official 
 reports of yesterday and to-day, but fewer patients have 
 been brought in here, and the disease seems to be 
 assuming a milder character. 
 
 ' The number in the women's ward varies from five to 
 seven. My little Johann Linder is in the way to 
 recover, while a little boy of eight years old who the 
 day before yesterday was placed in the next bed to his 
 died after a few hours. Hannes was asleep, of which I 
 was very glad, as the death of his little neighbour might 
 otherwise have made a dangerous impression on his 
 tender mind. He is really a dear little fellow ; whenever 
 I come near his bed after he has had his breakfast or 
 dinner, he never forgets to thank me for his nice meal, 
 and he often repeats his thanks to the doctor as well. 
 He takes his medicines with the greatest willingness ; 
 only once, when I was obliged to wake him from his 
 sleep and he was still half dreaming, he resisted strongly, 
 declaring that I wanted to poison him. Just as I was 
 getting him to take it, a nurse came up and said,
 
 LIFE IN THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 263 
 
 "Hannes, don't you know the Mamsell ? " Kubbing his 
 eyes he said, " Oh, now I see it all ! " and added in the 
 most entreating tone, " Ah, please forgive me ! " He 
 clings to his mother with great affection, and counts the 
 hours to the next visit he may hope for ; yet he told her 
 yesterday that he would rather be here than at home, 
 for he got enough to eat here. But I fear that, even if 
 the poor boy does recover completely from the cholera, 
 he carries the seeds of death within him in a strong 
 hereditary predisposition to consumption. The only 
 chance of saving him, Dr. Siemssen says, would be to 
 place him in some more favourable position where he 
 would have sufficient nourishment. If this could but 
 be managed ! I have some hopes of it. 
 
 f I have been obliged to dismiss one of my nurses. I 
 was very sorry, for the woman had been taken on my 
 recommendation. She was very willing, and was not 
 indifferent to me for the sake of old recollections. It 
 
 was Mrs. H , who for several years used to take care 
 
 of my father's house in the summer, and nursed him in 
 his last illness. It is to be hoped she was then younger, 
 quicker, and at least somewhat fitter for a nurse than 
 she is now. Thus, for instance, she cannot read the 
 labels on the medicine bottles ; if a draught is to be 
 given every two or three hours, she cannot calculate 
 the time, and if she is told the hour she cannot re- 
 member it,'
 
 264 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 ' November 8th. 
 
 * Now, my dear good mother, it really does seem as if 
 this period of separation were not to last so very much 
 longer. The epidemic is manifestly on the decline, 
 neither yesterday nor the night before had we a single 
 new case brought, and all our present patients are more 
 or less on the road to recovery. Doctor, surgeon, and 
 apothecary are beginning to complain of want of work ; 
 I find less difference in this way, as the convalescents 
 require almost as much of my attention as those who are 
 very ill. Only the night-work I can take more easily, 
 and last night I so far availed myself of the improve- 
 ment as to sleep the whole night through, the first time 
 I have done so since I came here ; to-day I feel much 
 refreshed in consequence.' 
 
 ' Later. 
 
 * My work has not, properly speaking, diminished, but 
 only assumed another shape. I have more rest at 
 night; I go to bed about half-past one, and sleep without 
 getting up once until half-past six. The number of 
 our patients has not yet decreased, but as most of them 
 may be considered convalescent, and require as such 
 less waiting on, we dismissed six attendants yesterday. 
 But the time I have gained in this way has been claimed 
 on another side by a commission that I have very gladly 
 undertaken at the request of Dr. Siemers ; namely, he
 
 LIFE IN THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 265 
 
 has wished me to send for the relatives of those who have 
 died in the hospital, to make minute inquiries into their 
 position, and to draw up a report on the subject for the 
 use of the Society for the Belief of the Poor. Some 
 members of our Special Commission belong to this society, 
 and joined it only on the stipulation that especial regard 
 should be had to those persons who had sought the 
 help and shelter of the hospital for their relatives. 
 I am also to inquire into the condition of the 
 patients who are about to be discharged from the 
 hospital of St. Eric, and if they should be in need 
 of clothing or other assistance, to recommend them to 
 our Special Commission. Thus I have succeeded in 
 arranging that our little Johann Linder should be put 
 to board in some family where he would have a proper 
 sleeping place at night, and enough to eat by day, and 
 the choice of the family is left entirely in my hands. 
 The friendship and kindness of Dr. Siemers are of great 
 value to me ; he visits our hospital daily as chairman of 
 the Special Commission, and shows them in the manner 
 I prize most highly, by constantly giving me the op- 
 portunity of doing real good. 
 
 ' For the rest, my beloved mother, the time of our 
 reunion is now certainly approaching with rapid strides. 
 The Lord has dealt very, very graciously with our city, 
 and I doubt not that the Cholera hospitals will soon 
 be given up. To ask Dr. Siemssen about precautions
 
 266 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 against carrying infection with me, would be of no 
 use, for I know his answer beforehand, he does not 
 consider that any are necessary. At the worst period 
 of the epidemic he used to meet his own family, both 
 in and out of the hospital, without taking any peculiar 
 precautions.' 
 
 ' November 19th. 
 
 * No doubt my dear mother will be very glad to hear 
 that I have felt some ennui and want of occupation these 
 last few days ; indeed the thought had occurred to me 
 that about the end of this week or the beginning of the 
 next I might leave my present post, as I fancied they 
 could get on very well without me. But when I spoke 
 to Dr. Siemers about it this morning he would not hear 
 of it, but expressed a very decided wish that I should 
 remain for the present, and urged it upon me seriously 
 as a duty, since I had once begun the work, to carry it 
 through completely to the end. "When I asked whether 
 the other gentlemen of the Special Commission shared 
 his views, he offered to procure an official letter for me 
 in which I should be formally requested by the whole 
 Commission not to lay down my present post, which of 
 course I declined as quite unnecessary. Now it cer- 
 tainly is not my way to do things by halves, or to leave 
 my proper business unfinished unless I am obliged ; and 
 so I have promised to postpone indefinitely the time of 
 my quitting the hospital. I certainly think I can say 
 with truth, that though I cannot pretend to be the most
 
 LIFE LN THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 267 
 
 important, I most undoubtedly am the busiest person on 
 the official staff at this moment. And if I complained 
 above of ennui, anyone would think that I must have so 
 much to fill up what spare time I find, that there could 
 be no room for such a feeling. But the thing is, that I 
 have scarcely any time quite to myself, but am inter- 
 rupted or called away at every moment ; then my private 
 room adjoins the female ward, and is only separated by 
 a boarded partition, so that I hear every noise and every 
 word : lastly, I am often tired and disinclined to any kind 
 of work that requires thought and reflection, for as I have 
 only one nurse now, I have again more night-watching 
 on my hands. 
 
 f A subscription paper is being circulated on behalf of 
 little Linder ; if we get enough he will be put to board 
 with a schoolmaster, and brought up for the same pro- 
 fession. Dr. Siemers feels sure of our success. 
 
 * I have grown really fond of these good honest B.'s 
 (the steward and his wife). I was afraid at first that my 
 peculiar position might easily bring me into unpleasant 
 collision with them, but this apprehension has proved 
 wholly unfounded, and our good understanding has never 
 been interrupted for a moment.' 
 
 ' November 24th. 
 
 ' I am sorry to say I cannot yet, as I hoped, fix 
 the day for my return home. Since my last letter 
 several female patients have been brought here, and 
 among them one who was very ill indeed, but is now
 
 268 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 likely to rally. But I find it easier to be patient 
 now than some days ago, partly because I have again 
 more to do, partly because I confidently hope that the 
 epidemic is altogether drawing to a close, and I need 
 not fear therefore that my perseverance will be exposed 
 to too severe a trial. It is six weeks to-day since I saw 
 my dear mother's kind face, but ere the seventh is over 
 I hope, please (rod, to be with her once more. And I 
 shall no doubt very quickly feel myself at home again 
 in my old life, which is so heartily dear to me. 
 
 ' I cannot but acknowledge with gratitude the friendly 
 behaviour of my fellow-workers here towards me, 
 and especially the respectful attention I have always 
 received from Dr. Siemssen ; but of course these re- 
 lations cannot afford me what I find in the friendship 
 of many years' standing, and am here obliged to 
 relinquish. 
 
 * The woman I mentioned above as very ill has given us 
 a great deal of trouble by an insubordination which no 
 doubt lies in her character, and was only aggravated by 
 illness. The night before last she made so much noise, 
 using abusive language and striking at all around her, 
 that the patients were aroused by it, and one good soul 
 crept trembling and shivering out of her bed to come 
 to my help, fearing this woman might do me some 
 harm. But in this case I had another instance of what 
 I have frequently seen in the last few weeks, the power 
 of a calm and determined will, even on such a mind
 
 LIFE IN TEE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 269 
 
 and under such circumstances. Without having re- 
 course to any coercion, simply by repeating, with quiet 
 but unmistakeable decision, that resistance was of no 
 avail, and I must persist in my intentions, I brought 
 her at last to submit, and allow us to do what the 
 doctor had ordered. On the whole, I must own that 
 the increased knowledge of human nature acquired in 
 a Cholera hospital is not of the pleasantest kind ; yet 
 there may be a great advantage, I think, in seeing our 
 common nature for once on its darker side. It could 
 not enter my thoughts to assume the office of a judge 
 over these poor fallen creatures, when I contrast the un- 
 favourable circumstances in which they have grown up, 
 with those wherein I have been placed by the free grace 
 of my Grod. And in such scenes I find endless comfort 
 and encouragement in my firm belief in the ultimate 
 restoration of all sinners. I know not whether I could 
 have fulfilled with so willing a heart all the menial 
 offices of a nurse towards some of these drunkards and 
 fallen women, had not the happy thought been always 
 in my mind, the time will yet come when even these 
 souls will join with me in worship before the throne 
 of God, and perchance will praise His name for these 
 very offices of love shown them now. And with all 
 this I must say, that there were some among both the 
 male and female patients for whom I could feel regard, 
 or who at least showed themselves not destitute of 
 capacity for higher impressions.'
 
 270 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 'November 29th. 
 
 * How grieved I am, my dear mother, to have awakened 
 so vivid a hope in you which now cannot be fulfilled. 
 But I flattered myself with it too ! When I awoke 
 yesterday morning my first thought was, the day after 
 to-morrow certainly! I even wrote to Dr. Siemers 
 about it. But in the meanwhile circumstances have 
 changed, and at the present moment I certainly cannot 
 myself think of leaving the hospital to-morrow. Five 
 new patients have been brought in, and among them 
 an Englishman who cannot speak a word of German. 
 Mr. B., the steward, kept his bed yesterday, and is very 
 unwell to-day, which of course takes up his wife's time 
 very much. I was not able to take off my clothes last 
 night, and now at six in the evening it is the first 
 opportunity when I could steal a few minutes to write 
 these lines in the ward, surrounded on all sides by 
 groaning and chattering patients and convalescents. 
 
 'My dear mother, if the Lord hears my heartfelt 
 prayer, this delay will not be of long duration, and I 
 really think there are good grounds for hoping that it 
 will soon be at an end. Eight weeks, you know, was the 
 shortest term that we thought our separation might last, 
 and if our meeting is not postponed beyond this period 
 I shall be very thankful. Let my desire to return to 
 my old sphere of activity be a safe guarantee to my 
 dear mother that I shall not prolong my stay un-
 
 LIFE IN THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 271 
 
 necessarily. But most unwilling should I be, on the 
 other hand, to leave my post prematurely : I should 
 dislike it for many reasons, but particularly because I 
 have a prospect now that some permanent good may 
 grow out of my residence in the hospital, and I think 
 that much of this depends on my persevering to the 
 end. I cannot as yet explain myself more clearly. 
 
 * The subscription for little Linder has prospered so 
 well, that we have procured a yearly sum for his board 
 of about 1 1 L, for which an excellent schoolmaster will 
 take him into his house.' 
 
 ' December 3rd. 
 
 ' This morning I spoke to my good kind Dr. Siemssen 
 about my leaving the hospital. He requested me to 
 remain until next Wednesday, by which time he hopes 
 to have discharged six or seven of his present patients, 
 and among them the two Englishmen. After that time, 
 however, he will not detain me longer, as he acknow- 
 ledges the importance of the reasons which make me 
 now wish to retire from my present post. Even should 
 fresh cases be brought in, it need make no difference, 
 as the experience of our most recent cases shows that 
 the disease is assuming a far milder character, and thus 
 requires less nursing. We can now manage fourteen 
 patients with five attendants, whereas at first we had to 
 reckon at least one nurse to every patient. 
 
 * One great joy I have had in these days, in seeing how
 
 272 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 our faithful God, who never lacks wondrous means for 
 working out the purposes of His wisdom, could turn 
 even the Cholera into an instrument for saving a soul 
 from the most imminent peril of utter ruin. A young 
 girl of two-and-twenty was brought to us from a house 
 of ill-fame where she was living as servant. As soon as 
 I saw her fairly on the way to recovery, I questioned her 
 about it, and found that she was a native of Liibeck, 
 and had been hired there, without knowing what kind 
 of house she was coming to. Afterwards a false shame 
 held her back from saying anything about it to her 
 relatives ; indeed she sent them word that she was quite 
 content with her situation, and this very untruth natu- 
 rally rendered it more difficult for her to leave her 
 place and return to Liibeck. I soon succeeded, how- 
 ever, in impressing on her so strongly the wickedness 
 of remaining any longer in that house, that she resolved 
 not to return to it. Her plan was to hire a bed some- 
 where, and look about for a better service, but I could 
 not feel easy with this arrangement, as I knew well the 
 dangers of such a position in her circumstances. At 
 last, by earnest representations and the promise of pay- 
 ing the expenses of her journey and giving her a letter 
 of recommendation to my friends at Liibeck, I succeeded 
 in overcoming her dread of returning home. On Mon- 
 day, if it please God, she will set out on her journey, 
 and thus she will be restored, still innocent, to her aged 
 mother. Now that she has once taken this resolution,
 
 LIFE IN THE CHOLERA HOSPITAL. 273 
 
 she tells me a load seems to have been lifted from her 
 heart. 
 
 ' Through the mercy of our Lord, I was able to do a 
 similar service for another poor girl, who on account 
 of an early error, had been so completely cast off by her 
 only relative, a married sister, that she had lost all 
 trace of her, which was the worse because she was 
 at present out of place, and had got into debt at her 
 lodgings. By the help of the police, I have succeeded 
 in discovering the residence of her brother-in-law; a 
 good understanding has been restored in the family, 
 and the ardent gratitude of the poor soul drew tears of 
 joy from my eyes. The name of the Lord be praised! 
 
 * If those persons who like to represent my undertaking 
 as something unnecessary could only know how many 
 opportunities the hospital affords of doing something 
 more for the patients than merely affording the tempo- 
 rary benefit of physical care, I think they would give a 
 rather different verdict. 
 
 * Next Wednesday, then, my school will be held for the 
 last time in M.'s house. I should like it very much, 
 if as soon as the classes are over, the school-table, &c., 
 could be brought over to us, so that I might find all 
 once more in good order on my return. I hope about 
 six o'clock in the evening to enter my dear, dear 
 mother's room with her tea, and at last to enjoy the 
 long-wished-for happiness of a personal conversation. 
 Of course I should like best to find you quite alone.' 
 
 T
 
 274 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKISG. 
 
 ' December 6th. 
 
 ' I shall make my appearance to-morrow afternoon at 
 six o'clock precisely. I am very glad that not a single 
 fresh patient has been brought in for some days. I 
 leave none behind me who are not in a fair way to 
 recover entirely, and thus I may look on the task that 
 was set before me as completely accomplished.' 
 
 Undoubtedly she had accomplished her task, and in 
 so doing, she had done something far harder than her 
 quiet, unaffected narrative would lead us to suppose. 
 There was a strong prejudice against her, not only in 
 the outside world, but in the hospital itself; and it 
 required no slight measure of wisdom, self-control, and 
 self-denial, to take up her right place, and maintain it 
 as she did from the first. She had met and overcome 
 painful attacks and serious obstacles, by what seemed 
 the most simple means ; but the most simple actions 
 are often the hardest and greatest, and where enthu- 
 siasm and blind zeal, or that restless desire for noto- 
 riety of which Miss Sieveking was freely accused for 
 taking this important step, would inevitably have 
 given offence, and restricted her usefulness, she con- 
 quered by virtue of that gentle and quiet spirit which 
 flows from the teaching of the Spirit of God, and proves 
 the divinity of its source, by its power to overcome the 
 world, in small matters or in great. With that touch-
 
 LEAVES THE HOSPITAL. 275 
 
 ing frankness which was peculiar to her, she tells her 
 pupils in after years when speaking of this passage in 
 her life : 
 
 * While in the hospital I received many letters telling 
 me of the judgment pronounced by various people on 
 my conduct, and though a few praised me, for the most 
 part I was blamed. I was particularly sensitive to 
 blame in this case, for though I certainly did seek 
 the glory of Grod in the first place, yet I cannot deny 
 that sometimes the thought had glided into my mind, 
 that people would admire my self-sacrifice. Instead of 
 that it was, "she wants to do something remarkable, she 
 wants to set up for a martyr ; " and all this was very 
 good for me. But if I was humbled by the censure 
 of men, I was but confirmed in my resolve to persevere 
 until I had overcome all hindrances, and fairly solved 
 the problem before me. I was called an enthusiast, 
 but it was by prayer that I conquered, and never have 
 I regretted the step I then took. From that time, too, 
 I determined never in future to stand in dread of the 
 opinions of men, or to allow them to destroy my peace. 
 . . . . It had been feared, and even Dr. Siemsseu, 
 I believe, said before my entrance, that a lady like me 
 would make a bad nurse, "that she would be full of fine 
 sentimental speeches, and think of nothing but talking 
 religion to the patients." But they soon saw that 
 this was not my line ; on the contrary, the care for the 
 
 T 2
 
 276 LIFE OF AMELIA WILIIELMINA SIEYEKIXG. 
 
 physical wants of the sick occupied me completely 
 from morning to night; only once one of the men 
 wished to receive the Holy Communion, and Dr. 
 Siemers himself thought it would be well for me to try 
 to prepare his mind for it, which I very willingly did. 
 But it was the only case of the kind.'
 
 THIRD PART. 
 
 PUBLIC LABOURS. 
 
 (1831 1858.) 
 
 Largely Thou givest, gracious Lord, 
 Largely Thy gifts should be restored; 
 Freely Thou givest, and Thy word 
 
 Is, ' freely give.' 
 He only "who forgets to hoard 
 
 Has learn'd to live. 
 
 Wisely Thou givest, all around 
 Thine equal rays are resting found, 
 Yet varying so on various ground 
 
 They pierce and strike, 
 That not two roseate cups are crown'd 
 
 With dew alike. 
 
 Even so, in silence likest Thee, 
 Steals on soft-handed Charity, 
 Tempering her gifts, that seein so free, 
 
 By time and place, 
 Till not a woe the bleak world see 
 
 But finds her grace. 
 
 KEBLE'S Christian Year
 
 279 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 1831-1858. 
 
 SKETCH AND FIRST FOUNDATION OF THE ASSOCIATION 
 
 DIFFICULTIES AND HINDRANCES HER RELATIONS TOWARDS 
 THE DOCTORS OF THE POOR DEATH OF HER AUNT SIEVE- 
 KING RELATIONS TOWARDS HER DEATH OF A PUPIL 
 
 THE NEW ASSOCIATION. 
 
 TT7HEN Miss Sieveking returned to ordinary life, 
 cheerful and in good health, having obtained the 
 regard and respect of the whole staff of the hospital and 
 fulfilled all the obligations she had undertaken in 
 entering upon her duties there, the general opinion 
 changed, and underwent a complete revolution in her 
 favour. What had been blamed at first was now praised, 
 only because it had been successful, and Miss Sieveking 
 added this experience, new to her, but indeed as old as 
 the world itself, to the others which these weeks had 
 brought her. These experiences were most serviceable 
 to the progress of her own mind, but beyond this, they 
 impressed on her the conviction that the time had not 
 arrived for her to come forward with so unusual an un- 
 dertaking as the foundation of a Sisterhood of Mercy.
 
 280 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 Already, during her period of service in the hospital, 
 which, according to her original intention, was to have 
 been the starting-point for this institution, another idea 
 had taken life and form in her mind, a plan for the 
 foundation of an association of women for the care of 
 the sick and poor. This scheme is at once definitely 
 and comprehensively handled in a letter which she ad- 
 dressed to MissHosch in March 1832. This letter says : 
 ' You seem to think, that before I returned home from 
 the hospital, I made some stay elsewhere and took holi- 
 day, but this is a mistake. The fear of infection, which at 
 first was almost ridiculously strong amongst our friends, 
 gave place in time to a reasonable calmness of mind, and 
 so I was able to walk straight home from the hospital 
 to the Hollandischen Brook at 6 o'clock on Wednesday 
 evening, December 6th, after having spent eight weeks 
 there, all but one day. The next day I assembled my 
 little children once more in school. How could I have 
 needlessly postponed, even for a day,' the return to my 
 accustomed calling which I so heartily love ! The 
 parting from my children had been the hardest sacrifice 
 I had to make in carrying out my resolution, and the 
 little ones too were longing to see me again and to 
 return to the usual routine of their school life. Their 
 instruction indeed had not ceased altogether, as at 
 my request Lotte GTraeve had undertaken it for two 
 mornings at least in the week. The affection which my 
 little pupils expressed in their letters had been a real
 
 RETURN TO HOME LIFE. 281 
 
 refreshment to me, at a time when my. heart was 
 wounded by the severe censure I met with from many 
 other quarters. I had told them at parting that it 
 would be a pleasure to me to hear from them sometimes, 
 and they were unwearied in writing, so that scarcely a 
 day passed in which I did not receive one or more 
 letters from them, though they never got a line in 
 answer from me.' She then gives a general outline of 
 her hospital life, and proceeds, e l must thankfully 
 acknowledge that I met with the most friendly attention 
 from all the gentlemen with whom I had to do, and 
 they did all in their power to lighten the difficulties of 
 my position. My relations with young Dr. Siemssen 
 became particularly agreeable, although I learnt after- 
 wards that he had been by no means particularly edified 
 by the prospect of my coming into the hospital, or rather 
 I may say, had a decided prejudice against it. But when 
 he saw that I was thoroughly in earnest, that I set to work 
 diligently, and knew what I was about, he showed me a 
 degree of respect which encouraged me, because I soon 
 learned highly to respect him, as an honest, thoroughly 
 sincere young man, who had it at heart to fulfil the 
 duties of his calling with faithfulness and in a humane 
 spirit. He listened readily to all my wishes for the sick, 
 and did all he could to meet them. On the morning of 
 the day that I left the hospital, I received a formal visit 
 in my little room (only fancy!) from him and Dr. 
 Siemers, accompanied by three other gentlemen of the
 
 282 LIFE OF AMELIA WILIIELMINA SIEVEKINQ. 
 
 Special Commission, when Dr. Siemers, in the name of 
 the rest, made me a speech, and then handed to me a 
 written address of thanks, and another of a similar kind 
 was sent to me in the afternoon by the General Board 
 of Health. You see, that on their part there has been 
 no lack of acknowledgement of my services ; indeed, I 
 cannot conceal from myself that they are very much 
 overrated by many feeling so keenly as I do, that I 
 have a thousand causes to humble myself in respect of 
 my hospital work before the Lord my God, who knows 
 all the imperfection of it, and from whom the many 
 impurities that cleave to it cannot be hid. Yet I will 
 not deny, that the honourable testimony borne to my 
 work by the majority of our physicians, of whom very 
 many visited the hospital, was most encouraging to me. 
 Among these very men several had made a joke of the 
 resolution I formed, in which they saw nothing but 
 romantic excitement, and fancied they could foretell that 
 nothing practically useful could come of it. I certainly 
 was glad to have brought these gentlemen to see and 
 acknowledge that neither what they called mysticism nor 
 literary employment must necessarily render a woman 
 useless in practical life, and that such care of the 
 sick as springs from a spirit of real Christian love is 
 something higher and better than can be expected from 
 the ordinary class of paid nurses of either sex. That 
 this is now pretty generally allowed, and that confi- 
 dence is reposed in me in this particular, is especially
 
 ASSOCIATION FOR THE RELIEF OF THE POOR. 2S3 
 
 important for the carrying out of a new plan, which 
 has occupied me very seriously since I have been in the 
 hospital namely, the foundation of an association for 
 the care of the sick and poor. The object of it is, more 
 frequent and regular visiting of the sick poor in their 
 own dwellings, and a closer supervision of them than is 
 possible for the General Poor's Board, with care to 
 promote order and cleanliness, and whatever else may 
 be helpful to them either in body or in soul. The 
 project was put on paper by me during one of the last 
 days of my residence in the hospital, and submitted to 
 Dr. Siemssen and Dr. Siemers, who gave it their appro- 
 bation, and promised me their support as far as I might 
 need it. Similar assurances have been sent to me by 
 other friends, and especially by several gentlemen who 
 are thoroughly acquainted with our system of out-door 
 relief, its advantages and deficiencies, and are them- 
 selves actively at work in the matter. 
 
 The principal difficulty lies in finding the needful 
 number of helpers to carry out the plan, and here I 
 find more obstacles in fact than I had anticipated. In 
 the first place, the number of those whom I myself 
 should think fit for such an undertaking, and whose 
 cooperation I should desire, is not very large, although 
 I should require nothing beyond sound sense, a certain 
 amount of bodily strength, and knowledge of domestic 
 matters except love to the cause and a living prin- 
 ciple of Christianity, which last is, I am well convinced
 
 284 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 the only source from whence can flow a true and enduring 
 influence for good to those who need our help. But 
 even in this limited circle I met with many refusals. 
 One considered herself too much tied by her household 
 duties, another had to fear the objections of her family, 
 a third was terrified by the difficulties of the undertaking. 
 After knocking at so many doors in vain, my own heart 
 would have failed at last, but the Lord has strength- 
 ened me, and by degrees he has led me to find seven 
 companions, who have formally bound themselves to 
 take part in my work. Besides these I know of four or 
 five more, whose assistance I hope for, and so next 
 week I mean to take, in God's name, the first steps 
 towards opening our work. Wish me a blessing from 
 God upon it ! ' 
 
 She afterwards described this beginning to her pupils: 
 * I had entered the hospital with the thought that my 
 service there should become the commencement of a 
 new kind of labour for the good of the poor, and it had 
 in fact brought me into much closer contact with the 
 lower class; what they lacked, and how much conse- 
 quently might be done for them, had become clearer to 
 me, and all this experience was not to pass by unused. 
 On the last Sunday of my residence there, I wrote down 
 the scheme of an Association for the care of the sick 
 and poor, founded on the principle of a Sisterhood 
 of Mercy, and certainly very different from that which 
 was ultimately carried out. For instance, I had chiefly
 
 FIEST SKETCH OF THE ASSOCIATION. 285 
 
 in view, the cooperation of women of the lower middle 
 class, because, repelled by the disapprobation I had 
 met with among the higher classes, I did not venture 
 to approach them. I also thought that this class of 
 persons were nearer to the poor, and could better judge 
 of their necessities. Originally I had several of these 
 in the Association, yet there is much to be said against 
 such a plan, because as a rule higher cultivation creates 
 a sounder judgment, which is often wanting in this 
 middle-class ; nevertheless, no institution of the kind 
 should be without some of these women, and the 
 mixture of ranks appears to me to make it more truly 
 a type of a real Christian community. My scheme at 
 that time required of the members of the Association 
 that they should take part with their own hands in clean- 
 ing and setting in order the dwellings of the poor, when 
 it should seem desirable ; that they should undertake to 
 watch by the sick, &c. &c. In practice these things took 
 another shape. The first principles of the plan however 
 remained the same ; personal intercourse with the poor, 
 and the exhibition of a love towards them manifested 
 by action and rooted in faith ; nor do I believe that a 
 work founded on any other principles could endure. 
 
 My plan being complete, I left the hospital and sought 
 to win some to take part in the undertaking. Among 
 many refusals, I met with a cheerful response from 
 several, and so on the 23rd of May, 1832, thirteen of us 
 met for the first time in my mother's house. I made
 
 286 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEEJXG. 
 
 them a short spoken address (of which some fragments 
 are to be found in later reports*), especially warning 
 them against many dangers to be avoided, and laying 
 down the principles of our association. The room in my 
 mother's house soon became too small for our increased 
 numbers, and the use of a room in the town-hall was 
 afterwards granted, by favour of the authorities, for our 
 weekly meetings.' 
 
 In later brief communications to her pupils it ap- 
 pears very clearly with how much of skill, discretion, 
 and moderation Amelia must have acted from the first, 
 to avoid the many perils which threatened the young 
 institution, and to secure for her enterprise the respect 
 and confidence which were already paid to her own 
 personal character. She goes on to relate : 
 
 ' The first difficulty was in our position with regard 
 to the medical men. I had learnt to know them well 
 while in the hospital, and now it was proposed that they 
 should recommend their poor patients to us. Several 
 
 made me a friendly promise to do so. Dr. M , 
 
 however, decidedly refused, on the ground that in his 
 opinion our labours would destroy the one good and 
 admirable thing which he still found among the poor, 
 namely, their readiness to help each other. Afterwards 
 however I received some indirect recommendations from 
 him, and wishing to get to the bottom of the affair, I 
 
 * It is printed in full in the Tenth Report.
 
 RELATIONS TO THE MEDICAL MEN. 287 
 
 inquired whether these had been really given with his 
 knowledge and good-will. He replied in the affirmative, 
 and has since continued our steady friend and helper. 
 Only once he was very angry, because one of our ladies 
 had recommended homoeopathic remedies to one of his 
 patients, thus intruding into a province of which she 
 knew nothing. I went to him again, and said I was 
 ready to take all the blame upon myself, and promised 
 for the future that we would never meddle in matters 
 that did not concern us ; and at the next meeting I took 
 occasion to find fault with what had been done. 
 
 4 1 had another little battle to fight with Dr. E . 
 
 We were visiting a man who was nearly recovered from 
 the small-pox, and also his wife who was much more 
 seriously ill. I lent him some books which he received 
 with thanks, and promised when he should have read 
 them through, to send him some more. The nurse 
 came punctually to me, but without the books: the 
 physician had taken them away, and had said they were 
 not fit for the patient. I went to the doctor, and saw 
 my books lying on his table, but talked first of other 
 matters, until he himself asked me what sort of ^ooks I 
 had given to his patient. I replied they were intended 
 for the convalescent, who was not in the habit of reading 
 aloud to his wife; and inquired whether he really thought 
 they could do the man any harm. He had not read 
 them, was the answer, but he knew there was seldom 
 anything good in those little blue stitched covers. And
 
 286 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 then he lauded to me a most wearisome book, called 
 " Moral Instruction," as very fit for the purpose in hand, 
 and I promised to take it to the sick man. I was very 
 willing to give way in this case, that I might keep my 
 freedom in a hundred others, and so I trotted off most 
 obediently with my " Moral Instruction," and explained 
 to the patient that we acted entirely in concert with the 
 medical man, and wished to conceal nothing from him. 
 * My friend Dr. Siemssen once took away a book 
 from a patient, which led me to pay him a visit. On my 
 inquiry he was almost angry that I could believe that 
 he would have so acted without first speaking to me, if 
 he had objected to the contents of the book ; but the 
 patient must not read at all, that had been his only 
 reason for taking it away.' On this occasion Amelia 
 adds, in speaking of her dear friend Dr. Siemssen : ' He 
 always treated me with the same frankness and openness, 
 and it was this very truth and straightforwardness that 
 always pleased me so much in him. I think, too, that 
 such men as he are nearer to the kingdom of God than 
 many who are fond of using its language. And in 
 general I hold it to be good that believers and un- 
 believers should be brought into contact with each 
 other, and I believe that such intercourse is far more 
 wholesome than the harsh judgments passed by each 
 upon the other, without any close acquaintance.' Miss 
 Sieveking's friendship with this gentleman, which had 
 arisen and gained strength at a time of such grave
 
 MULTIPLIED LABOURS. 289 
 
 interest, was not long to be her portion. Being invited 
 to his marriage, she was struck by his looking wretchedly 
 ill ; he fell sick immediately after, and in a fortnight 
 he was a corpse. She mourned for him deeply and 
 earnestly. 
 
 In August of the same year, 1832, she wrote to Minna 
 Hosch, after an apology for her long silence, i I feel, 
 indeed, that it will not be easy probably to justify my- 
 self in your eyes on this point, although I have a 
 thorough conviction that I am truly called from above 
 to this new kind of activity, and hence feel myself obliged 
 to make many sacrifices for its sake that really cost me 
 something : thus, for instance, I give up many hours of 
 intercourse with my friends, which has always been my 
 favourite recreation. Friends who are really very dear 
 to me I often do not see for months together. I made 
 two rules for myself when I entered on my new sphere 
 of work one, that my school was not to suffer from it 
 in any way ; and the other, that my mother was not to 
 be cut short of any part of the time when, according to 
 our established arrangements at home, she reckons on 
 my companionship. That many other things claiming 
 my occasionalattention, especially letter- writing, are often 
 laid aside for a time, I cannot deny; though I must own, 
 that by greater faithfulness on my part my new duties 
 might be fulfilled without neglecting former obligations. 
 Might I but succeed in attaining this higher capacity 
 
 u
 
 290 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKIXG. 
 
 for usefulness in the service of my God ! He knows 
 that the deepest desire of my soul is to attain it.' 
 
 At this time Amelia lost her beloved and revered Aunt 
 Sieveking. She describes her last days in the above 
 letter to Minna Hosch, and adds : * This death cannot, 
 I think, call forth any other feelings than those of a 
 peaceful, gentle sadness. Does it not seem a beautiful 
 ending to a life in many respects so beautiful ? And if 
 it be in general to be regarded as a blessing to mortals 
 to escape the infirmity, the many sufferings and priva- 
 tions, incident to a very advanced age, it was doubly so 
 to her, to whose lively spirit a stirring and varied life 
 seemed a necessary condition of happiness.' 
 
 Not always, nor in all points, had Amelia harmonised 
 with this remarkable woman, to whom, from her earliest 
 youth, she had looked up with so much reverence. It 
 was indeed scarcely possible that she should have done 
 so, totally unlike, as they were, in natural disposition 
 and in the character of their lives. Madame Sieveking 
 was one of those persons who, brought up in an un- 
 believing age, yet, happier than many others, have 
 embraced religion under the form of a pious ra- 
 tionalism, and during a life rich in every way, in 
 noble enjoyments as in ennobling sufferings, and 
 passed amidst the most remarkable people of her 
 time, she had unconsciously formed in her heart and 
 borne in her conduct the image of the Christian cha- 
 racter. She possessed a strength and fulness of love
 
 LEATH OF MADAME SIEVEKING. 291 
 
 leading to continual self-denial, united with a most 
 child-like humility, while everything that was little, 
 egotistic, and narrow-hearted, was contrary to her gene- 
 rous nature ; but just because all this lived and worked 
 unconsciously within her, and was in some sense natu- 
 rally developed by her circumstances, she could not 
 sympathise in, nor even fully comprehend, the struggles 
 and travails of a soul, which had had to fight its way 
 through both inward and outward difficulties, and by 
 severe and earnest self-examination had learned to see 
 clearly its own helplessness, and the need of divine 
 assistance. The character of her niece, who had never 
 been a young girl like others, appeared to her un- 
 amiable, her activity not always feminine ; and not 
 in a fault-finding spirit, but from real conviction, she 
 disapproved altogether of her entering on the hospital 
 service, which seemed to her a wilful and enthusiastic 
 step, to the prejudice of nearer duties, while she mis- 
 conceived, rather than condemned, the motives which 
 made the step a moral necessity to her niece. Both 
 expressed themselves plainly on the subject to each 
 other, and painful as it was to Amelia to be unable to 
 win over her aunt, her love and respect for her suffered 
 no diminution ; while that high-minded woman, on her 
 part, would not refuse to her a degree of respect, which 
 might probably have risen to a full approbation, could 
 she have lived to follow her niece's further course, and 
 witness that future, with its new elements of Christian 
 
 u 2
 
 292 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 development, to which, by the whole bent of her cha- 
 racter, she already belonged. Meantime, the relation 
 between them was of that description which brings, 
 particularly to the best and most decided characters, 
 much of peculiar pain and struggle, while we recognise 
 in it a special means of training in the school of Divine 
 love. Above, in the land of vision, where we shall 
 know even as we are known, the veil which parts us 
 here will fall away, and all who have honestly sought 
 truth will find themselves united in Him who is the 
 truth Himself. 
 
 In the letter which described her aunt's last days 
 Miss Sieveking says of their conversation respecting the 
 hospital : * Her simple, thoroughly sincere and bene- 
 volent disposition always appeared to me most loveable, 
 and often exercised a wholesome influence upon me. 
 Although she did not share my convictions on many sub- 
 jects, I never felt afraid to speak freely with her, even 
 on the highest and holiest matters. I can never forget 
 one morning when I found her not yet risen. She had 
 just heard of my resolution to go into the hospital. She 
 decidedly disapproved of the step, and gave me to un- 
 derstand as much, almost with harshness. Afterwards, 
 though I remained quiet, she perhaps feared that she 
 had given me pain, and without recalling what she had 
 said, she became quite tender, more so than she had 
 ever yet been towards me. We parted with tears in our 
 eyes, and I felt myself nearer to her heart than I had 
 ever stood before.'
 
 THE NEW ASSOCIATION. 293 
 
 Respecting the Association, she writes in this letter : 
 ' It consists of thirteen members, six married women, 
 and seven unmarried, partly from the higher, and partly 
 from the middle class, who seem to be especially suited 
 for the purposes of our society ; all, I hope, are animated 
 by a loving zeal, founded on a simple faith in the Grospel. 
 To set the thing going has been sufficiently difficult, 
 but now this is once done, I am not anxious about its 
 permanence. It is especially gratifying to me, that all 
 the members find such pleasure in our work.' She then 
 corrects some mistakes of Miss Hosch with regard to 
 the nature of their employment, and continues : * Our 
 undertaking meets with many objections from different 
 quarters. But I am so accustomed to this in all my 
 doings, that it does not unsettle me ; indeed it would be 
 quite strange to me, in bringing forward anything new, 
 not to find it objected to. On the other hand, zealous 
 friends are not wanting to support our cause ; among 
 them is one of our cleverest and most diligent doctors of 
 the poor, and, would you have thought it ? the old Baron 
 von Voght,* who has interested himself about my plans 
 with all the ardour of a young man : by his desire I am 
 to communicate to him in detail my written accounts 
 of the poor, and he has lately, without the slightest 
 prompting on my part, published his favourable opinion 
 of our scheme in one of the Miscellanies.' 
 
 * The well known philanthropist.
 
 294 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKTNG. 
 
 In February, 1833, Miss Sieveking writes to Minna 
 Hosch of the death of one of her little scholars : * The 
 beginning of the new year has carried off a dear child 
 
 from my little school. Louisa S , scarce thirteen 
 
 years old, has died of scarlet fever. On Christmas Eve 
 she was with me quite well and cheerful, and two days 
 after Christmas she was gone. The disease attacked 
 the brain immediately, so that she had scarcely a quarter 
 of an hour of clear consciousness during its whole course. 
 Almost all her fancies were about me and her little 
 school-fellows, and it was very touching to me, as I 
 watched by her one night, to hear her call me every 
 moment, and not to be recognised by her. In the last 
 hours before her end, the image of little Mary H 
 was constantly before her mind, this was a sweet, 
 good child, formerly her schoolfellow, who, two years 
 before, had passed into eternity. At last our little sick 
 child began with a voice already failing, the song often 
 sung in her father's house, ' How brightly beams the 
 Morning Star.' She finished the last verse, though the 
 end was scarcely audible, and these were the last sounds 
 which her father and mother heard from her lips ; a 
 few moments later they were closed for ever.' 
 
 She then recurs to her Association, and says : * There 
 is a growing interest in the matter, even among the 
 general public. There is an increased confidence 
 in the sensible management and carrying out of our 
 scheme, as I may conclude from the readiness with
 
 THE NEW ASSOCIATION. 295 
 
 which people come forward with supplies, both in money 
 and in other ways. Several have volunteered to place 
 their names on the subscription list ; fifteen ladies who 
 do not belong to the visiting members, have engaged to 
 cook for the poor on certain days : a wealthy butcher 
 has promised us 4 Ib. of meat weekly ; bedding and 
 clothing, old and new, have been sent to us, &c., and 
 besides all this, since I wrote last, four working members 
 have joined us. I rejoice especially in the good under- 
 standing that prevails among my colleagues, which 
 hitherto, so far as I know, has been perfectly undisturbed, 
 while their zeal and delight in their work seem at pre- 
 sent to increase rather than diminish. They cannot, 
 indeed, fail to perceive, that a great blessing does rest 
 on personal visiting of the dwellings of misery, and this 
 quite as much for ourselves as for the poor and 
 suffering persons to whom we bring the little helps 
 and alleviations at our command. These are, indeed, 
 in a much higher sense, real benefits, than many of 
 the richest gifts which people lavish, without making 
 themselves acquainted with the actual condition of the 
 needy, or caring about the disposal of the money they 
 give. The poor, for the most part, feel this themselves, 
 and while they often receive help from the City as a 
 rightful tribute, without any thanks and even with 
 murmurs that more does not fall to their share, we on 
 the contrary, who come to them purely out of goodwill, 
 often find ourselves overpaid for our exertions and fatigues
 
 296 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 by their tears of gratitude, by their hearty blessings, by 
 their confidence in us, and the influence on their moral 
 and religious condition which this alone can give us.' 
 
 In the spring of this year, Miss Sieveking had to 
 remove to another house in Hamburg with her adopted 
 mother and her family, and the change threatened 
 some discomfort, as the situation of the house, and of 
 her future schoolroom, was noisy. Of this she says in 
 conclusion, * I am not left to busy myself with fears and 
 anxieties for the future : perhaps it will all turn out 
 better than I now think, and what can 't be cured must 
 be endured. If all things work together for good to 
 them that love (rod, assuredly we must not grumble 
 over the little contradictions and vexations of daily 
 life.'
 
 297 
 
 CHAPTEK XXI. 
 
 1833-1837. 
 
 VISIT OF HER BROTHER AND SISTER FIRST REPORT OF THE 
 ASSOCIATION THE BURDEN OF BUSINESS AND ITS CON- 
 SEQUENCES THE ORIGINAL WISHES AND THOUGHTS CON- 
 TINUE GROWTH OF THE ASSOCIATION VISIT TO HER 
 
 BROTHER PROJECTED FOURTH COURSE OF CLASSES 
 
 THIRD REPORT FURTHER THOUGHTS OF A SISTERHOOD 
 
 OF MERCY RETROSPECT OF HER LIFE. 
 
 IN the summer of 1833, Miss Sieveking enjoyed a visit 
 from her brother and sister from England. At this 
 time she published her first Eeport. It contained no 
 printed rules, but the leading principles of those which 
 she afterwards established were developed in it, and an 
 account of the first year's working of the infant institu- 
 tion rendered to her fellow citizens. She had begun 
 the work without possessing a single shilling for the 
 purpose, but at the end of a year she recorded the 
 receipt of 1,332 marks, 10 schillings.* The second year 
 brought in 4,044 m. 20^8, and more slowly, but quite as 
 
 * About 1031. English money.
 
 298 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 surely, the number of working members also increased, 
 from fourteen to twenty in the first year, in the second to 
 twenty-five, although several were compelled by circum- 
 stances to retire. The enterprise gathered strength and 
 shape, which can surprise no one who considers on the 
 one hand the need that existed, and on the other the 
 spirit which animated the foundress and head, of which 
 a lasting memorial remains in the series of her printed 
 Reports. These Reports will ever remain a pattern for 
 all who concern themselves deeply with the care of the 
 poor ; for they contain, not idle abstractions or beautiful 
 theories, but rather the practical results and experiences 
 of an activity whose strength lay in the depths of 
 Christian love, and was ever renewed and freshened 
 from that living spring. There may be learnt the true 
 character of the Christian visitor, and also how the 
 voluntary Christian care of the poor must be regulated 
 in order neither to overpass its aim nor to fall short of 
 it. The moderation and ability, the reasonableness and 
 sobriety, which were combined in the author in a pecu- 
 liar degree, are here clearly brought out in their bearing 
 on the circumstances of the poor ; and the faith which 
 worketh by love, in other words, the faith of Christ, is 
 unhesitatingly and firmly laid down as the fundamental 
 principle, though with all freedom and toleration of 
 opinion. In these papers nothing is concealed, em- 
 bellished or idealised, but neither is anything drawn 
 in gloomy colours, or regarded from a desponding
 
 HER FIRST ANNUAL REPORT. 299 
 
 point of view. The maxims of Christian wisdom appear 
 clothed in the most modest dress, and we may see how 
 clearly she understood how to use her remarkable 
 talent for organization in the natural development of 
 her institution, how to avoid dangers, prevent misunder- 
 standings, make use of experience, and bide her time. 
 Self-control was her strength ; she watched for guidance 
 from God, and never went beyond her appointed bounds, 
 and therefore she never desired and strove for more 
 than she could accomplish. This is shown in the history 
 of her life, as well as in these Eeports, the practical 
 value of which will be best understood by those who 
 have themselves attempted any similar work. The 
 rules of the Sieveking Association have continued to be 
 the model for all the institutions which have grown out 
 of it, and its Eeports have exactly expressed all that can 
 be said of general interest respecting the working of 
 public Female Associations. 
 
 She announced to Miss Hosch her intention of publish- 
 ing her first Report, on the loth July, 1833, and on this 
 occasion remarks, after mentioning the immediate reasons 
 for the publication, ' My views are shared by old Baron 
 von Voght, Dr. P. Dr. A. and Dr. L., to whom, as zealous 
 patrons of my undertaking, I showed the manuscript 
 before printing. In fact, I believe that the thing 
 speaks for itself, and that greater publicity cannot fail 
 to obtain more general sympathy. Among the doctors 
 of the poor it is already in good repute, however much
 
 300 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 some of these gentlemen were at first set against it. 
 Many of their unfavourable expressions early reached my 
 ears : I took no notice of them, however, but went my 
 way quietly, only taking diligent care that nothing should 
 be neglected on our part to establish friendly relations 
 with the medical men, and especially that nothing 
 should happen which should give them any ground to 
 complain of us, and justify their apprehensions. I 
 have attained my aim. Only a few days since, one of 
 these gentlemen told me of his own accord, that we had 
 succeeded in overcoming the prejudice of himself and 
 his colleagues against our work, and that now they had 
 but one opinion amongst them as to its usefulness. My 
 full name is to be attached to this little book. It 
 would seem to me a sort of affectation to try to main- 
 tain my incognito, because my name must be known as 
 the president to any one who takes an interest in the 
 matter;' 
 
 The pressure of business naturally became more con- 
 siderable with her new vocation, and only by degrees 
 did she recover the necessary balance between her in- 
 ward and her outward life. In describing this period 
 to her pupils Miss Sieveking says 
 
 * How fared it, then, with my other duties apart from 
 and beyond the Association ? I must confess that all to- 
 gether they often became very toilsome. My mother had, 
 indeed, many other companions, but the school itself, and 
 the long walks to and from it, were often hard work.
 
 PRESS OF OCCUPATION. 301 
 
 At seven in the morning, I walked with a great basket of 
 books to the city, (more than an hour's walk,) and paid 
 visits to the poor ; then I had school for three hours. 
 Besides this, on every alternate Tuesday, I collected my 
 former scholars about me, and at half-past six I had 
 always to be back at Othmarschen. Four days in the 
 week I generally went without any warm food. One of 
 the children used to fetch me a pennyworth of butter- 
 milk, which I took with a piece of bread. I had often 
 declared that I did not know what nerves were, or how 
 they should cause suffering : but at this time I learnt 
 to understand it very well. I visited my friends indeed 
 as often as I could, but there was not time for this 
 every day. Meantime my mother had become totally 
 blind, and needed more help and companionship; in 
 particular she liked to hear reading, and I often read 
 aloud to her in the evening from six or half-past till 
 eleven. I never read so much in my life as at that 
 time.' 
 
 In August she writes to Miss Hosch : 
 
 ' You will see by the Eeport, that the duties of the 
 President, which I have undertaken, require no small 
 outlay of time, and that I deserve some little in- 
 dulgence for my tardiness in letter-writing on this 
 account. Meantime, amidst all this strain of exertion, 
 I am very well. Last summer, I must own, I often 
 felt a little overburdened with work. I could not 
 always get through it, I felt at times quite unstrung,
 
 302 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 and as if I were losing myself amidst such a crowd of 
 
 external objects, that is, I could not find the necessary 
 
 time for quiet reflection and prayer, and to collect my 
 
 mind in meditation on the Eternal. But now all this is 
 
 different. I cannot indeed say, that I have less to do; 
 
 on the contrary, as our work extends itself, I necessarily 
 
 have more, but the business is more easily despatched, 
 
 partly by help of practice, and partly because of the 
 
 new impulse given to my mind by the pleasant 
 
 experience of success. In short I feel cheerful and 
 
 happy in my busy life. Among the enjoyments of it, I 
 
 reckon the varied relations into which it brings me with 
 
 people of the most diverse characters, and of all ranks 
 
 in life. The observation of mankind in their different 
 
 aspects, seems to me the most attractive of all studies.' 
 
 The blessing of God was visibly with her, and in 
 
 August, 1834, she could say, in writing to her relatives 
 
 in England, with her second Eeport, ' I know you will 
 
 rejoice that our enterprise goes on so well. Since the 
 
 publication of this second Eeport, I have received many 
 
 really astonishing proofs of sympathy and confidence 
 
 from the most various quarters, subscriptions have been 
 
 sent to me wholly unsolicited, and from time to time 
 
 considerable sums placed at my disposal. There is 
 
 indeed a noble amount of public spirit in our good city. 
 
 Manifold as are the calls upon the benevolence of the 
 
 public, every new institution may be sure of support, 
 
 so soon as it shall be acknowledged to have a really
 
 HER SECOND REPORT. 303 
 
 beneficial tendency. Indeed, I never felt so warm an 
 affection for my fellow-citizens as now, when of course 
 I feel bound by gratitude to so many who are personally 
 unknown to me. And as I look on every trust as a great 
 and sacred obligation, I feel myself a general debtor, 
 and one who is scarcely likely ever to be able fully 
 to pay all that I owe. But far from being oppressed by 
 this feeling, it rather acts as a powerful spur to strive, by 
 the devotion of all my powers, to realise that fair ideal of 
 Christian care for the sick and poor, which has fired my 
 mind ever since my eighteenth year. But if you ask 
 me whether a secret vanity does not mingle in this 
 feeling; alas, I cannot but admit it. The view of 
 myself under this aspect often frightens me ! But I 
 trust in the correcting grace of God, that He will pre- 
 serve me both by inward and outward guidance and 
 humiliation, and not suffer me so shamefully to fall 
 before the enemy which of all others I have most to 
 fear. And will the Association one day make a way for 
 me into the wards of our Infirmary ? A presentiment 
 of this, sometimes dim, and sometimes bright, makes me 
 always look on it as the goal of my earthly course. 
 There are hours when I cannot suppress a deep longing 
 for its attainment.' 
 
 In the course of this month she accompanied her 
 second nephew to Liibeck, where he was to attend the 
 high school, and placed him to board with a family of 
 relations. After giving her brother and sister on the
 
 304 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 spot a true and particular account of all that had 
 happened, she finishes her letter in Othmarschen and 
 adds : * You may well think it incomprehensible that 
 I could not find time to finish this letter at Liibeck, and 
 I must blame myself for my idleness. But I gave up 
 my days so entirely to your sons and my friends that it 
 was almost impossible to get a quarter of an hour to 
 myself. Yet if I had gone to bed as late aud risen as 
 early as I usually do, I should have had the time I 
 wanted. Such occasions prove to me how great is my 
 natural indolence. I am convinced that had not (rod 
 in His special mercy made my whole condition and the 
 calling He has given me a mighty spur to earnest and 
 diligent exertion, I should have been in great danger of 
 sinking into disgraceful inertia.' 
 
 In the midst of the full and blessed activity of her 
 new employment, the old thoughts and wishes still 
 lived on in Amelia's heart. She closes a letter to her 
 brother and sister on the 8th of September this year with 
 these words : * But there is something more which I 
 would ask of you. I count strongly on the power of 
 intercessory prayer. Will you, then, strengthen my 
 poor prayer with your own, and help me to wrestle out 
 from the throne of Grace the blessing which, since my 
 eighteenth year, has been the object of my deepest 
 desire, that the Lord would make me first inwardly and 
 spiritually, and then in my outward condition, a sister 
 of mercy, in the true sense of the fair ideal which floats
 
 EXTKACTS FROM LETTERS. 305 
 
 before my mind, and even now lends to my life its 
 highest charm. Do not think me so ungrateful as not 
 to acknowledge what my Saviour has done for me 
 already, in giving so visible a blessing to our Association. 
 But this is still not what I think of and aim at ; that is 
 something far nobler and fairer. I will gladly wait and 
 be further trained for it. But at last ! at last ! ' 
 
 In a letter of October in this year, Miss Sieveking 
 remarks, speaking of a child who had been somewhat 
 severely reproached for a supposed want of feeling : 
 * Can then feeling be prescribed and controlled by 
 another ? I am convinced that in this matter the use 
 of any authority, even that of parents, requires the 
 most careful circumspection, and that, in most cases, 
 complaints of a want of deep and warm feeling do not 
 tend to excite warmth of heart, but have a directly con- 
 trary effect. And, then, what is to be the measure ? 
 Do we not always make it to be that of our own 
 individual feelings, which never can be an unerring 
 standard ? Never let us forget how easy it is to 
 mistake in judging of the feelings of another, and 
 forming conclusions as to their real strength from their 
 varying modes of expression.' 
 
 In a letter of March 1st, 1835, she says : ' Of all other 
 pleasures which the world has to offer, I have long taken 
 a willing leave ; but the society of people who are dear 
 to me, and social intercourse with those who, though by 
 no means agreeing with me in opinion, have yet some 
 
 x
 
 306 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 weight with me by their individual character ; ani- 
 mated conversation, and interchange of thought, all these 
 things are to me, in a sense, a real mental necessity ; they 
 help to keep me from becoming worn out, and maintain 
 a freshness of feeling which I would not willingly lose.' 
 
 She goes on to relate the increasing industrial activity 
 of the Association, which in the following month was 
 about to undertake the public sale of things made by 
 the poor people : * In a week's time I hope our shop 
 will be empty the value of this little stock is about 
 1,000 marks.* You see that I reckon confidently on 
 the public interest in this matter. Many details of 
 the arrangement must be first discussed in our council- 
 meeting. This council-meeting is a new arrangement, 
 introduced in the course of this year ; it is quite inde- 
 pendent of the weekly meetings, and takes place once a 
 month. 
 
 ' Among our poor themselves, I must ever repeat it, 
 the sum of our pleasant experiences far exceeds those of 
 an opposite kind; and after all, the blessing and the gain 
 which we bring home to our own life from the dwellings 
 of the poor, is something which, in its full compass, those 
 only can know who have experienced it themselves. 
 Similar associations are about to be set on foot in St. 
 George's, and in Altona.' Both these began this year. 
 
 Miss Sieveking again this summer enjoyed a visit 
 from her beloved brother and sister from London. She
 
 DEATH OF DR. SIEMSSEN. 307 
 
 writes of it in September to Minna Hosch : 'Both they 
 and I feel that each opportunity of personal intercourse 
 brings us into closer union with each other.' About 
 this time, as already mentioned, she lost her friend, 
 Dr. Siemssen,by death, and she says in the same letter: 
 * There was quite a peculiar charm in my friendship 
 with him, begun at such a remarkable time, in the 
 Cholera Hospital; it was something so unlike the 
 common every-day course of things ; my heart has bled 
 painfully. Well, these ties will one day be knit again, 
 and then in a holier and purer form.' 
 
 A letter to Miss Hosch, of April 10th, 1836, 
 describes the close of one course of classes, and the 
 expected beginning of another, and was written in the 
 interval of greater leisure, which leisure would itself 
 have seemed to many persons an over-abundance of 
 business. She says : 'My holidays have come to pass 
 thus. A few days before Easter I dismissed, as being 
 now ready for confirmation, the set of girls to whose in- 
 struction for the last eight years I have devoted so large 
 a part of my time and strength ; but I have no idea of 
 giving up this branch of my employments. No; that 
 would deprive me of an essential part of the happiness 
 of my life ; but I have for several reasons determined 
 to postpone the beginning of a new course till after 
 Ascension Day. I shall not want for occupation in the 
 interval ; besides the continual work for the Associa- 
 tion, for the free school, for my former pupils, &c., there 
 
 x 2
 
 308 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 are preparations to be made for the new course of 
 classes, many arrears of business which must now be 
 made up, and a double change of abode to be gone 
 through going into the country, and changing our town- 
 house. Then the fourth Eeport has to be written, and 
 lastly, I have determined at this time to set in order all 
 my books, papers, correspondence, &c. ; and this is indeed 
 no trifle. Then, when I shall have cleared my path in 
 every direction, I shall return with quickened zeal to the 
 circle of little ones, which I have newly formed around 
 me, and devote myself with fresh love and interest to 
 their education. My spirit rejoices in the thought of 
 it, and I think to be a child again among the children, 
 and with them and in them to renew my youth.' 
 
 In the same letter she says : ' And so you like my 
 third Report ; I am glad of it. I think I may say that 
 it has made a favourable impression pretty generally. 
 Whether the next will equal it in this respect, I know 
 not, but I much doubt it. It is in the nature of things 
 that it should become more difficult every year to treat 
 such a subject in a really interesting manner, and it 
 must in time be exhausted. It is only by bringing 
 forward special cases that new life can be continually 
 brought into it, but this plan too has its great difficulties. 
 Well, for this time I am not afraid, for I have already 
 collected more than a sufficient amount of matter, and 
 possibly for the next ten years it may not fail me. 
 Hitherto I have found no ground for the anxiety which
 
 WORK OF THE ASSOCIATION. 309 
 
 I felt when I wrote my first Report, lest there should 
 be nothing left to say another time. I would gladly 
 avoid the dry and tedious style, which has often annoyed 
 me in reading similar accounts. It is an especial joy to 
 me that my reports have done some good even abroad, 
 and have excited people to imitate the work. Asso- 
 ciations of the same kind have been formed, not only in 
 St. George's and Altona, but at Zell, at Potsdam, and 
 at Bonn ; and another is projected in Bremen. . . . 
 Here in our own town the thing is spreading ; we have 
 now thirty-two members. That my work grows too you 
 will easily understand; and sometimes I am almost fright- 
 ened at its amount. Imagine, that I must reckon at least 
 seven hours in every week only for receiving the poor 
 people, who come to me with their different petitions. 
 And this is but the smallest part of my business ; the 
 poor must be visited in their houses, and I have many 
 long walks on their behalf to the doctors, the guardians, 
 and other authorities ; and lastly, what takes the largest 
 outlay of time, is the quantity of writing required for 
 the conduct of the whole affair, not to mention the 
 general meeting every week, and the special council- 
 meeting once a month. I have been advised by several 
 people to make a greater subdivision of the work, but 
 hitherto I have not found this practicable. Assuredly 
 it is no part of my plan to do all myself, and leave 
 the talents of my colleagues unemployed. On the 
 contrary, I make use to the utmost of the ability
 
 310 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 and zeal I find in them. The maxim on which I have 
 acted, and which hitherto I have found verified, is, that 
 in such societies the individual members will only take 
 an interest in the working of the whole body in propor- 
 tion as they feel that they themselves contribute to it, 
 and that not without exertion and self-sacrifice. Many 
 branches of the administration for instance, the ma- 
 nagement of the funds, the giving out of spinning and 
 knitting-work, &c. I have entrusted entirely to diffe- 
 rent members, only reserving to myself the right of 
 requiring occasional accounts of them. But it appears 
 to me that I cannot give up anything that concerns the 
 conduct of the affair as a whole, without injury to the 
 needful unity and order. And yet, if our sphere of 
 labour should enlarge in any important degree, some 
 help for this must be found, for to do much more than 
 I am doing already seems to me really impossible, 
 unless, indeed, Grod should either increase my strength, 
 or find an opening for me in some other way. All this 
 will adjust itself, although at present I see not how. I 
 have experienced this in like cases. I have taken work 
 on myself, or had it put upon me by others, which at 
 ' length has become too much for me. Then I go quietly 
 on, putting out all my strength, and often I have found 
 that it has increased under the strain. But if the burden 
 really grows too great, then there always comes some way 
 to lighten it. Thus, at first, when our work was much 
 more limited than it is now, I was almost weighed down
 
 ARRIVAL OF HER NEPHEW. 3il 
 
 with the labour imposed upon me of receiving verbal 
 reports from all the members, and afterwards reducing 
 them to writing myself. I complained of this difficulty 
 to a friend, and he advised me to make the visitors 
 themselves give in their reports in writing. I saw 
 great difficulties in this ; but at length these were all 
 thoroughly set aside, and the most important advantages 
 soon developed themselves from the new arrangement, 
 while an amount of work was taken off me, under 
 which I must have sunk at last, had things continued in 
 the old way.' 
 
 Miss Sieveking's eldest nephew had chosen the pro- 
 fession of medicine, and she writes to her brother on 
 this subject in September 1836: ( What has been 
 my own aim in life, ever since my eighteenth year, 
 has naturally led me to take great interest in the 
 medical profession. Latterly I have been brought into 
 contact, in a variety of ways, with men who belong to it, 
 and this nearer acquaintance has in no degree lessened 
 my interest ; yet, indeed, I cannot be ignorant of the 
 many dangers by which it is beset. The greatest of 
 these seems to me to be, the prevailing inclination not 
 merely to deistical, but even to purely materialistic 
 opinions. God grant that our Edward may be pre- 
 served from such a danger, and may keep firm hold 
 on the true faith of the Grospel ! Let him but remem- 
 ber that the physician in many cases but half fulfills his 
 high and noble mission to be the helper and comforter
 
 312 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKING. 
 
 of suffering humanity, if he looks only to the bodily 
 sickness of his patients, if he knows not how to prescribe 
 healing medicines for the wounds of their soul : and 
 where shall such a medicine be found, save in a living 
 faith ? Inestimable, in my opinion, is the amount of 
 good which may be effected by a really believing phy- 
 sician (alas ! that we so seldom see such an one), even 
 in the cure of souls. Certainly, in many cases, he can 
 do more than the clergyman himself.' 
 
 The financial affairs of the society were now re- 
 arranged by Miss Sieveking, in a more complicated, 
 but also more business-like form : in this she had two 
 points in view one, so to divide the business, as that 
 none of her ladies should be overtasked ; the other, to 
 secure the most exact supervision of the whole : for this 
 purpose she obtained the co-operation of two gentlemen. 
 After relating the particulars to her brother, she con- 
 tinues : 'But what will you say when I tell you that I 
 have quite decided to make public my ideas regarding 
 the foundation of a Sisterhood of Mercy ? What seems a 
 most fitting opportunity now presents itself, so perfectly 
 unsought-for, that I think I ought not to neglect it. 
 The matter is as follows : the Medical Association, to 
 which most of our best and most respected physicians 
 belong, proposes to celebrate the 25th anniversary 
 of its foundation by the publication of a Medical 
 Topography of Hamburg and its territory. The 
 celebration will not take place till the year 1841. But
 
 PROPOSED SISTERHOOD OF MERCY. 313 
 
 as the work is intended to be very thorough and 
 comprehensive, they are already beginning to collect 
 materials, and the five persons who are entrusted with 
 the editorship are looking out for assistance. These 
 five gentlemen have proposed to me to undertake that 
 portion of the work which is to treat of societies for 
 nursing the sick. I have willingly accepted the 
 proposal, because it will give me an opportunity to 
 throw some light on the subject, from a purely medical 
 point of view; about which I think there is a good deal 
 to be said, which cannot find so fit a place in the 
 Yearly Keport. And then it will come in so naturally, to 
 speak of that of which my heart is full, of the blessings 
 which the establishment of a Sisterhood of Mercy 
 would bring with it. And precisely in this place I think 
 that a word so spoken would not be altogether with- 
 out result ! No doubt, in order to give a true impression 
 of the want, we must dwell on the defects of the paid 
 nursing in our General Infirmary, and many disgraceful 
 incidents, which are, alas ! too common there, must be 
 brought to light ; and the question then comes, will the 
 editors allow of this ? Well, we shall see ; in any case 
 the attempt must and shall be made. From the first, it 
 has been my principle to do nothing of my own will, but 
 step by step to follow my Saviour's guiding sign. But 
 does it not seem, indeed, that He is verily leading me to 
 the goal ? * The time I must quietly leave to His wisdom 
 
 * This proposal was never carried out.
 
 314 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 to determine, and indeed it needs no special goodness 
 to wait His season patiently. I am so deeply happy in 
 the employment which my (rod provides for me in the 
 meanwhile. Yes, dear ones, I feel myself anew so closely 
 linked to the pleasant world of happy childhood, that I 
 often fear I should prove too weak to tear myself away 
 from it, if I should be called to something higher. Then, 
 however, He Himself would loosen these ties. Oh, if you 
 could but see the joyous life we lead in my schoolroom ! 
 Then you would rightly prize the amount of happiness 
 that is renewed to me every day.' 
 
 The next letter despatched to her brother, in March 
 1837, though begun long before, is a remarkable one, 
 because she there takes a retrospect of her whole life, 
 and being now in the fulness of her strength, and in 
 the midst of the duties of her calling, raises a song of 
 thankfulness and praise. Although the letter naturally 
 refers to many things already mentioned here, the 
 essential parts of it cannot fail to be valuable. She 
 begins on the day after Christmas : 'I should like to 
 tell you, that you too may rejoice and give thanks 
 with me, how deeply my heart is stirred, when I look 
 back on the year which will soon be passed away, and 
 call to mind the many thousand blessings which have 
 fallen to my lot during its course. Certainly, if my 
 calling were a burden to me, my life would be a slavery 
 indeed, since nearly every minute is occupied by it ; but 
 now that in that very calling the fairest fountains of
 
 RETROSPECT OF HER LIFE. 315 
 
 happiness are opened to me, my days afford an almost 
 unbroken succession of pleasures and enjoyments. No 
 doubt this has not always been the aspect of my life.' 
 (Then follows a description of the sadness and troubles 
 of her childhood and early youth, while she was yet 
 seeking and found not.) ' It was at that time that, in a 
 dramatic piece which I never finished, I put into the 
 mouth of the great villain of the story the words : "There 
 are two ways to distinguish oneself : the way of good and 
 the way of evil : and he who hesitates between the two 
 is a weakling and a coward." The exact words have 
 remained in my memory, because I was pleased with 
 myself at the time for having found so striking an 
 expression for a powerful thought. But will it not 
 seem strange to you, if I say that at that time the doubt 
 sometimes pressed upon me, which of these two ways 
 would proye to be mine ; and that the question never 
 shaped itself within me, as one whose decision depended 
 on my own choice it seemed to me as if the decision 
 must come from without, and did not lie within the 
 power of my will ? And was I then deceived in this 
 presentiment ? Is not the question, as I assuredly hope, 
 decided for my weal in time and in eternity, by the 
 victory of faith over unbelief ? And did this decision 
 depend on my own will ? Such a will was altogether 
 wanting in me. No, it was the work of Divine Grace, 
 working through manifold inward and outward provi- 
 dences on my resisting heart, until it drew me to itself.
 
 316 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 But this was a very gradual process, and many an 
 instrument was made to conduce to this end, which the 
 short-sighted wisdom of man would have rejected as 
 quite unfit.' (She mentions here the rationalistic work 
 of Salzmann, ' Heaven upon Earth.') ' The thought 
 there expressed, that it is folly to expect a heaven 
 beyond the grave, unless we have in a certain sense 
 found it here below, took hold upon me, and from that 
 moment I determined that I would never rest till I 
 had found it. I subjected every rule of faith or practice 
 which I received to this test, whether it would help to 
 build up a heaven upon earth for me ; and yet there 
 were not wanting persons who blamed my religious 
 views, as tending to melancholy and gloom! Now, 
 truly, a heaven only upon earth was not what I desired ; 
 mine must have a further scope, and then I perceived, 
 that many things which others called delights and 
 pleasures, would not fit in with it, at least not in my 
 case. This caused me many peculiar discomforts in my 
 relations with others, because things in which they took 
 a lively interest excited none in me. In a certain 
 sense I may well say that I was never young ; but now 
 that I have found the proper element of my life, I feel 
 such a spring and freshness within me, that I could almost 
 boast that I shall never be old. Paul Gerhardt's verse, 
 which many years ago took such a wonderful hold on 
 me, and seemed to penetrate my very soul, when I
 
 RETROSPECT OF HER LIFE. 317 
 
 heard it sung at a Christinas festival, might now be the 
 motto of my life : 
 
 My heart within me springs, 
 
 It can no more be sad, 
 For very joy it laughs and sings, 
 
 Sees naught but sunshine glad. 
 The sun that glads mine eyes 
 
 Is Christ the Lord I love : 
 I sing for joy of that which lies 
 
 Stored up for me above. 
 
 It is true, dear ones, that the chief part of all that 
 gladdens you and me still belongs to earth ; and 
 yet is it not equally true that there runs through all a 
 clue which attaches it to that which is above, and it is 
 this connection only which preserves all enjoyment 
 from becoming hollow and empty ? To bind heaven 
 and earth together, seems to me to be the innermost 
 core of the most cheerful philosophy of life, but without 
 the Gospel, how can this ever be accomplished ? 
 As many as are the members of my large family of 
 children and poor people, so many ways seem to me to be 
 opened for me to the throne of mercy of my God, and 
 how rich and joyful are the experiences granted to me by 
 His compassion ! I recollect that on the last Christmas 
 eve in my father's house, I felt vexed with myself because 
 I could not enjoy the presents, as I used to do in earlier 
 days. More than Christmas joy is now my portion, when 
 such rich gifts for my poor people flow in, often quite 
 unexpectedly, and often without the names of the givers.
 
 318 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 The joy of the little ones round the lighted fir-tree may 
 be louder deeper and sweeter it certainly is not. And 
 yet these gifts form but a small part of the happiness 
 which falls to my lot as President of our Association. 
 How many other things occur to afford me a sweeter 
 pleasure still ! Now it is a tear of joy in the eyes of a 
 sick man comforted by the Gospel, now a blessing from 
 dying lips ; then the sight of a poor family permanently 
 rescued from destitution, or a good character of some 
 poor person employed at our recommendation : I cannot 
 count up all these things but I can assure you that 
 my heart often runs over with thankful joy. But 
 people frequently say to me, on the other hand. " Surely 
 the sight of so much misery must be very trying, and you 
 must also experience much that is very bitter." But 
 I cannot honestly say that I find it so. To begin with, 
 you know that, thanks to my strong bodily constitution, 
 I am not so easily affected in health as a person of 
 weak nerves might be by the sight of so much misery, 
 and even physically I am steeled against painful im- 
 pressions by my cheerful religious faith. I can weep 
 with them that weep, but never shall a murmuring 
 " Wherefore ? " rise to heaven on their account from my 
 lips. I see in all suffering, not the rod of chastisement 
 only, but the Father's hand that wields it ; not only 
 the bitter cup, but the loving careful Physician by 
 whom it is administered. And what of the experience 
 of ingratitude or other un worthiness among the poor ?
 
 RETROSPECT OF HER LIFE. 319 
 
 In the first place, we have to set against this a far 
 larger amount of pleasant experiences : and what there 
 are of the bitterer kind, are sweetened to me by that 
 hopeful faith, which is always a ruling and living prin- 
 ciple in my heart. I mean, that I firmly believe in the 
 existence of something Divine in man, even in his 
 lowest state, and as firmly I trust in the power of God's 
 mercy, which at some period or other, though perhaps 
 far off in eternity, but still certainly at some period, 
 will quicken into a clear flame the spark that now 
 glimmers deep under the ashes ; and then will it be 
 plainly seen, that every work of love attempted towards 
 such a soul, though seeming utterly in vain at the time, 
 has yet contributed to its eternal salvation in the end. 
 In October last the finances of our Association were 
 in a bad condition ; we had a deficit of from 700 to 800 
 marks.* Some of the members were quite in despair. 
 For myself, I can assure you, the thing never cost me 
 a quarter of an hour's painful anxiety. I knew, indeed, 
 that we must spread all our sail, to set the little vessel 
 of our finances afloat again if possible, but I kept up a 
 good heart, that it would come right, that God would not 
 withdraw His hand from His own work, and behold ! it is 
 even so, and far beyond my expectations. I sent round 
 a subscription list from house to house in several streets, 
 and in a short time the deficit was filled up. But even 
 here I learnt something of the deceitfulness of human 
 
 * About 45/.
 
 320 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 calculations. Persons, of whom I had fancied that they 
 could not refuse a subscription, prut nothing down ; while 
 others, to whom I should never have thought of applying 
 personally, partly because I did not know them even by 
 name, helped our work in the most generous manner, 
 and with the kindest readiness. As soon as we had once 
 more a couple of hundred marks in our treasury, I 
 stopped the collection of subscriptions : I adhere firmly 
 to the principle of never going begging to people, unless 
 we are driven to it by the most pressing necessity. I 
 have no pleasure in it or courage for it else. " Give us 
 this day our daily bread," is said in the Lord's Prayer, 
 and I think that the comment on these words in our 
 Hamburg Hymn-book is in the spirit of our Saviour 
 
 Not for distant days we plead, 
 Give to-day our daily bread ; 
 To-morrow shall another call 
 See to-morrow's manna fall. 
 
 Of course the case is different when a large gift 
 comes unsought-for, as it happened in the beginning of 
 December, when permission was given us, on occasion 
 of the opening of the Johannis-Kloster, to have a 
 collecting box for the benefit of the Association held at 
 the doors. The produce of this collection surpassed my 
 utmost hopes, for within a week it brought us in a sum 
 of more than 1,000 marks,* and so, by the last account 
 sent in to me, we have still more than 1,200 marks f in 
 hand. 
 
 * About 6QI. t A little over 701.
 
 321 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 PROPOSAL OF PASTOR FLIEDNER MISS SIEVEKING'S RE- 
 FUSAL, AND THE REASONS FOR IT- PRESS OF BUSINESS 
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE THEN CROWN PRINCESS 
 
 OF DENMARK HER OWN ILLNESS DEATH OF MADAME 
 
 BRCNNEMANN REFLECTIONS UPON IT INSTRUCTION IN 
 
 THE SEMINARY GIFT OF A SITE FOR THE BUILDING OF 
 
 DWELLINGS FOR THE POOR ARRANGEMENTS AFTER THE 
 
 DEATH OF HER ADOPTED MOTHER PECUNIARY POSITION 
 
 SOCIABILITY AND HAPPINESS. 
 
 IN the midst of her happy and fruitful labours as the 
 foundress of a work which unfolded itself every day 
 into fuller and fairer results, and together with the in- 
 struction of her beloved children filled up her whole time, 
 and satisfied every want of her heart and mind, Amelia 
 could not receive a call which came to her at this 
 period quite as she might have done some years before ; 
 unless she would depart from her fixed principle, always 
 to attend first to the nearest duties, and seek in them 
 the signs of God's providential guidance. The above 
 mentioned letter to her brother, begun at Christmas 
 1836, was not continued till the end of March, Easter 
 Tuesday 1837. On resuming it, she says : * I could not 
 
 Y
 
 322 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 devote to my dear brother and sister even the little 
 leisure which the first two days of this festival season 
 offered. They belonged to a person who six weeks ago 
 was a total stranger to me, but may, perhaps, in con- 
 sequence of a proposal he has made to me, exercise an 
 important influence over the whole course of my life. 
 Oh ! how much, how very much I have to tell you about 
 this ! But I must write briefly. In the middle of 
 February I had a letter from Pastor Fliedner, of Kaisers- 
 werth, near Diisseldorf, as secretary of the " Evangelical 
 Association for Christian Nursing in Rhenish West- 
 phalia," in which he gives me an account of the founda- 
 tion of this Association, which is no other than a Sister- 
 hood of Mercy in our own Evangelical Church ! The 
 thing has been actually in existence since the 13th of last 
 October. A suitable building is purchased, in which 
 twenty patients are now under the care of four nursing 
 deaconesses ; three school deaconesses, and one prison 
 deaconess, have already offered themselves. The rules, 
 which have been communicated to me, appear to be 
 drawn up with great judgment. The administration of 
 the whole is in the hands of a most respectable body 
 of directors, of whom the Kegierungs-Prasident Graf 
 Stolberg is the head. Everything promises good 
 success ; but one essential matter is still wanting. 
 Among the nurses there is not one who is suited to be 
 the head, and this post is only partially and temporarily 
 filled at this time by Pastor Fliedner's wife, who
 
 SISTERHOOD AT KAISERSWERTH. 323 
 
 cannot of course even reside in the institution. And 
 now they come to me with the enquiry whether I could 
 be willing to undertake the place. Need I describe to 
 you, at length, how this proposal has stirred my heart to 
 its innermost depths ? Oh, you have known its longing 
 desire for so mauy years, that I need not. For a whole 
 week it cost me much pains so far to quiet my mind, as 
 that I might hope to hear clearly the voice of God 
 within me. With Him the decision must rest. Now I 
 think that I have received His bidding, and have framed 
 my answer accordingly. I long much to hear your 
 opinion upon the whole affair ; though I must candidly 
 say beforehand, that I cannot unconditionally rest the 
 final decision on any human counsel. It is one of those 
 things which must be finally determined alone with 
 God. Only thus far for the present : my answer is 
 neither a decided acceptance nor refusal ; it is coupled 
 with certain conditions, and thus the decision is placed 
 ia higher hands, because the fulfilment of these con- 
 ditions rests neither with Pastor Fliedner nor myself at 
 our own choice. To one wish of the Society I would at 
 once accede, as it thoroughly coincides with my own. 
 It is that I should personally visit the Institution, and 
 this, I think, it must, be possible to manage in the course 
 of the summer, however great may be the difficulties in 
 the way of my leaving my present post for six weeks. 
 The Society has offered to pay the expenses of my 
 journey ; but of course I do not mean to avail myself of 
 
 T 2
 
 ?24 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELUINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 this, although, thanks to the many wants of my poor 
 folks, I am never burdened with too full a purse.' 
 
 In a letter to Minna Hosch of August of the same year, 
 we see how the matter further developed itself. After 
 speaking of this first proposal from the Administrative 
 Council at Kaiserswerth, she continues: ' I promised in 
 my reply to pay a visit to the Institution in the course of 
 the summer, but begged them in the meantime to seek 
 diligently for another Superior : only if all their efforts 
 should prove fruitless could I possibly entertain the call, 
 in the fear lest my refusal should then occasion the failure 
 of so good a work, and one which lies so near to my heart. 
 But now, although I have received a second letter about 
 six weeks ago, telling me that as yet no one is found to 
 be at the head, and earnestly pressing the call on me, 
 my view of the matter has altered, and I think I shall 
 send a decided refusal. Not that my interest in the 
 cause is abated ; but partly because I have come to the 
 conviction that I am not necessary to its permanence, and 
 partly because the motives which require me to remain 
 here have strengthened in my eyes. The accounts of the 
 progress of the Institution sound so encouraging, that 
 there seems to me no doubt that the Lord will continue 
 His blessing to the work, and assuredly He is not tied to 
 do so through my individual instrumentality. . . The 
 reasons that keep me here which, as you may suppose, 
 are chiefly connected with my aged adopted mother, my 
 circle of children, and the Association founded by me
 
 REMAINS IN HAMBURG. 325 
 
 Lave gained strength from the wish expressed in the 
 most various quarters, and certainly with the greatest 
 earnestness and sincerity, that I should remain. All the 
 members of the Association especially seem more or less 
 of opinion, that the work to which they so cheerfully 
 and lovingly devote a part of their powers will be 
 ruined by my absence, or at least will suffer a very great 
 blow. Certainly at the present moment I do not know 
 of anyone in whom the outward and inward qualifica- 
 tions necessary for a President are so united, as that I 
 could in full confidence name her to succeed me, and in 
 fact I believe that it will be on the whole an easier thing 
 to find a suitable person for the situation at Kaisers-- 
 werth than for the one which I now fill. It must 
 be remembered, that there the Superior will have a 
 powerful support and stay in the administrative body, 
 which with us is altogether wanting. Without any such 
 defence I had to fight my way, in the beginning, against 
 a most decided opposition and real enmity in many 
 quarters, where our religious influence was especially ari 
 object of suspicion. Now I think I may say that this hos- 
 tility is almost entirely removed, but how easily might it 
 revive under altered circumstances. And then I cannot 
 but acknowledge in the confidence with which many of my 
 neighbours have met me, and in the liberality with which 
 they support my schemes, a kind of sacred obligation 
 towards them which I can no otherwise discharge than by 
 continuing the work begun under their patronage. And
 
 326 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 who can tell whether it may not, at some future day, be 
 granted to me to establish a similar institution to the one 
 at Kaiserswerth, here in our dear native city ? I have 
 availed myself of the proposal which has been made to 
 me, for the purpose of sounding people's minds on this 
 subject, and I have found the medical men especially 
 most favourably disposed ; several of the most respect- 
 able and influential men of that profession have 
 promised to give me a helping hand, in case I should 
 ever undertake a work of this kind. Under these cir- 
 cumstances, I have given up the thoughts of a journey 
 to the Ehine, although Edward made it much more 
 tempting by his suggestion that I should connect with 
 it a visit to England. I was afraid of raising false hopes 
 by appearing at Kaiserswerth, and of making it harder 
 to myself to say no : and, besides, I could not expect so 
 much good to come of a mere visit, as would outweigh 
 the sacrifice that must be made in breaking away from 
 my home avocations, though but for six or eight 
 weeks. . . . Perhaps many people would see, in the way 
 I write of all this, a foolish kind of self-exaltation. 
 But to affect to think less of one's own services than 
 one really does, seems to me no true humility; the 
 essence of that, as I think, lies in a lively sense that it 
 is in very truth God's grace only which works by us.' 
 
 To what extent Miss Sieveking's time and strength 
 were engrossed by her present employments, the following 
 short description in the same letter to Miss Hosch may
 
 EMPLOYMENT OF HEK TIME. 327 
 
 serve to show. She writes, in excuse of the increasing 
 infrequency of her letters : ' Let me, for instance, 
 describe to you how, as a rule, I spend three days in the 
 week Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday during the 
 summer. On Tuesday I get up at half-past four, and am 
 employed for the children till six. I take my break- 
 fast while I am at work. At six I set off for the city, 
 and arrive at the Town Hall about a quarter after seven. 
 Here there are generally about twenty or more poor 
 people waiting to speak to me. This lasts till half- 
 past eight, when I go to our own house, and look 
 through any notes that have come for me, or prepare 
 something more for my school, and if there is any time 
 left before lessons begin, I take another walk, either 
 to call on some of the poor people, or go on their errands 
 to the doctor for the poor, the guardians, and the 
 like. At ten o'clock my little ones come to me, and 
 stay till near two. At half-past two, I go to the Free 
 School, where I give religious instruction till half-past 
 three. The time from half-past three till five is filled 
 up with errands or writing for the Association. At five 
 some of my former scholars assemble, and I first have a 
 regular Bible lesson with them ; then we drink tea and 
 converse, and towards the end of our time I generally 
 tell them anything likely to interest them in the way 
 of literature or general subjects. At eight o'clock they 
 separate. Meantime the visiting reports from the ladies 
 of the Association have been sent in. These reports,
 
 328 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEEJXG. 
 
 much more than a hundred in number, must now be 
 looked through, many things taken note of, and the 
 visits newly apportioned. This work employs me as 
 long as I can keep awake ; but I cannot finish it before 
 bed-time. Next morning up again at half-past four, 
 and then I set to work to correct the children's exer- 
 cises. At a quarter after seven to the Town Hall again, 
 to see the poor people. From a quarter past eight to 
 twelve, school. Work for the Association generally fills 
 up the time till three. Precisely at three I go again 
 to the Town Hall for the weekly meeting of the Asso- 
 ciation, which lasts till half-past four. About five o'clock 
 I return home, and find a troop of poor children, from 
 sixteen to twenty in number, to whom I give religious 
 instruction. After they are dismissed, at six, I have either 
 compositions to correct, and so forth ; or, more usually, 
 I visit the poor till about nine. Then, for the last 
 hours of this day, I generally go to some of my good 
 friends, to refresh myself a little with their society and 
 conversation. Thursday morning it is just the same, 
 except that the children only stay till a quarter past eleven, 
 instead of twelve. But then at half-past eleven come 
 my former pupils dismissed last Easter, and I employ 
 myself with them in the same way as with the older 
 girls on Tuesday afternoon. First a Bible lesson, then 
 luncheon, and last, the reading of some good poetical 
 work ; we are now employed upon Herder's "Cid." At 
 half-past two they separate. Then there is always
 
 EMPLOYMENT OF HER TIME. 329 
 
 much for me to arrange. When that is done, I set off 
 for Othmarschen, visiting some poor people by the 
 way, and arrive about half-past six at my good mother's 
 house, to whom the remainder of the evening belongs ; 
 and when I have fortified myself with a meal, I read or 
 talk to her. You will see there is no mention of any 
 dinner-time on these three days, and, in fact, I take 
 none. An occasional slice of bread and butter, a hard- 
 boiled egg, or a bit of cold meat, generally eaten 
 standing, I find quite sufficient. Saturday, when I 
 walk to the city at 6 A.M., and about half-past six 
 return to Othmarschen, passes just in the same 
 wa}% On the other days which I spend quietly at 
 Othmarschen, the time when I am not with my mother 
 is so entirely filled up with preparation for my school, 
 writing for the Association, and so forth, that although 
 I am regularly at work by five o'clock in the morning, 
 many days I cannot manage to set foot in the garden. 
 Besides the regular course of business, there are always 
 extra matters ; such as preparing the very minute 
 quarterly reports of the children, the composition of 
 the yearly reports of the work of our Association, 
 answers to enquiries from a distance, &c.' 
 
 In the summer of 1838, Miss Sieveking was once 
 more gladdened by a visit from her relations from 
 England, and she writes of it to Miss Hosch in the 
 beginning of 1839: 'My brother and sister's visit 
 stands out as a bright spot in my summer life, they
 
 330 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEVEKING. 
 
 were so especially affectionate and hearty in their 
 behaviour to me, and I mixed with them in so many 
 circles of friends, of which I have much more enjoy- 
 ment now, in my riper years, than I had in my youth. 
 The reverse is generally the case ; but for the pleasure 
 which young people find in social life I had scarcely 
 any natural taste, and then I was extremely shy; I 
 understood neither how to give nor to take. Now that my 
 mind is more open, and I have more power of receiving 
 impressions from others and communicating my own, 
 almost every company affords me the opportunity of 
 interesting conversation or observation.' 
 
 On occasion of a visit of the Crown Prince and 
 Princess of Denmark to Hamburg, Miss Sieveking 
 became personally acquainted with the latter, with 
 whom she had already had some intercourse, in conse- 
 quence of having sent her the First Eeport; the intimacy 
 was afterwards kept up and strengthened by correspond- 
 ence, and by Miss Sieveking's visits to the noble lady 
 at Sorgenfrei, after she became Queen, and subsequently 
 Queen Dowager. On this occasion, when she first met 
 her at the Eauhe Haus, at Horn, near Hamburg, which 
 their Highnesses were inspecting, she was greatly 
 attracted by her, and expresses it thus in the above 
 quoted letter to Miss Hosch : ' The Crown Princess 
 spoke to me quite in a friendly manner, asked for my 
 Eeports, &c. You know that she takes a warm interest 
 in philanthropic schemes. I felt very quiet and un-
 
 ATTACK OF ILLNESS. 331 
 
 constrained. The time of shyness, and fear of the face 
 of man, is over for me ; and rank and dignity have lost 
 too much of their dazzling light in my eyes, for me to 
 feel confused by the honour done me. But the morn- 
 ing was a most interesting one. The observation of 
 persons of the most varied position in society has 
 always had a peculiar charm for me ; but our own 
 situation in life certainly loses nothing of its value or its 
 attraction by being compared with that of these great 
 people. I would not exchange with any one of them.' 
 
 In the last days of this year, Miss Sieveking was 
 attacked with sickness, a very unusual visitation for her. 
 A severe cold, accompanied with gastric fever, obliged 
 her, much against her will, to submit to her physician's 
 orders, and keep her bed for a week. Sooner than 
 he desired, she rose, and returned to her wonted labours, 
 her bodily frame yielding to the energy of her will, and 
 itself gaining strength under the exertion. Meantime 
 her blind and aged adopted mother had been growing 
 gradually weaker, and in June 1839 the long expected 
 event took place, and Amelia lost her truly motherly 
 friend by a blessed and peaceful death. She writes to 
 her brother in July, describing it: 'Scarcely was I 
 recovered Avhen my good mother's bodily and mental 
 suffering assumed an increasingly serious character. For 
 the two last months of her life, she rambled almost 
 constantly in her talk, which, as I have experienced, is 
 peculiarly trying to the bystanders. Yet of two things
 
 332 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 I was very glad first, that she was always satisfied with 
 those immediately about her, that she knew me to the 
 last moment of her life, was always affectionate and 
 tender to me, and that I was almost the only person 
 she asked for when absent ; and secondly, that even on 
 this last darkened path the light of faith shone upon her. 
 If I had read the newspaper to her, she certainly could 
 not have understood it ; but I often succeeded in 
 tranquillising her with a chapter of the Bible, or a hymn. 
 Through all her fancies, which were wild enough 
 at times, she still rested in the conviction that, 
 after all, nothing could happen but as Grod pleases. 
 On the last day of her life, when she could scarcely 
 speak intelligibly, she called me to her and said, " All 
 bondage is at an end now : nothing but joy and thank- 
 fulness ! " and about an hour later : " He has verily 
 appeared to me; my Saviour stands before me, and 
 mercy ! nothing but mercy ! " Soon after she was dead.' 
 Miss Sieveking afterwards told her pupils, * It made 
 my heart shrink to see my dear mother grow weaker 
 and weaker in mind, but then too I learnt that our 
 earthly garment is but a garment, and that the hidden 
 germ of everlasting life beneath it may increase and 
 grow while the earthly life is vanishing away. When I 
 first came into my mother's house, her principles were 
 completely rationalistic, but now, perhaps helped by my 
 companionship, she had become much more impressed 
 with the truths of the Gospel.' To the above account
 
 DEATH OF MADAME BRTJNNEMANN. 333 
 
 of her last days she added, ' She fell asleep in my arms, 
 and I am certain that our Lord has received her to 
 His mercy.' 
 
 Amelia naturally looked upon this death as a serious 
 turning-point in her own life, and in writing to her 
 brother she goes on to say : 
 
 * Although it is not in the nature of the case that her 
 departure should fill me with deep grief, yet it is a call 
 to most serious reflection. A relation of twenty-eight 
 years' standing is dissolved, a connection to which, though 
 I will not deny that latterly it brought me much that 
 was burdensome, I yet owe many rich blessings, and 
 which would doubtless have been much more blessed to 
 me if I had done my part with more faithfulness and 
 love. The sense of many faults presses on me, for which 
 indeed I hope for free forgiveness, but yet for which 
 perhaps penance must be done. 
 
 ' It is a peculiar feeling, and one I never knew before 
 in my whole life, to stand so utterly alone not in the 
 world, thank God ! I cannot say that but in my own 
 house. For so many years past, let me come home 
 when I would, I was always wished for and welcomed ; 
 so long as I was out of the house, I must always 
 measure my time exactly. Now I may come and go, 
 no one asks a question about it and to me this is some- 
 thing very melancholy. 
 
 * Thank you for your affectionate invitation to come 
 to England, which certainly I cannot altogether refuse ;
 
 334 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 only I do not think it will be advisable to take the 
 earliest time for it. For one thing, you see, I think it 
 right, before I allow myself so pleasant a diversion, to 
 get used to my solitude, and to set my own heart in 
 order in respect of many things that belong both to the 
 past and the future. I do not like the custom of those 
 who, when they have a burden laid upon them, seek to 
 find ease by throwing it off for a while ; when the time 
 comes for taking it up again, it seems doubly hard and 
 oppressive. No ; I must first attain to such a point, 
 and I have no doubt that I shall attain it, that whatever 
 now seems hard in my situation shall be easy and even 
 dear to me. Then, and not till then, I may change 
 it for another for a little while. 
 
 c An other weighty, though purely external reason, there 
 is against it, Before I leave Hamburg I must have it 
 settled where I am to be next winter. The house which 
 I now inhabit is let from next Ascension term, but it is 
 of course the interest of the heirs to let it, if possible, 
 until Martinmas. I should be very glad to see it so let 
 that I could retain the lower rooms, which in every 
 respect suit me so well. . . . From what I have said, you 
 will understand that I do not (at least at the present 
 moment) contemplate an entire change of my position, 
 such as entering on the Infirmary service, or the like. 
 Jn such a matter, dear and important as it is to me, I 
 would undertake nothing of my own will. I hold it to 
 be a very doubtful thing to give an altered direction
 
 PLANS FOR THE FUTURE. 335 
 
 to one's whole course of life only at the suggestion of 
 one's own mind, and without a distinct indication of 
 Providence. And hitherto I do not think that I have 
 received any such guiding sign. I enjoy in my present 
 situation a happy, and I think I may say, a continually 
 enlarging sphere of work. The confidence reposed in 
 me by my neighbours, which really makes me very 
 happy, secures me full play for all my powers, so far as 
 they can reach. I find a sweet satisfaction in having my 
 assistance claimed by all sorts of people, for all sorts of 
 purposes, and feeling that I am pretty generally looked 
 upon as one who does not belong to herself, but is called 
 of Grod to be the servant of all who need her help 
 or counsel. 
 
 ' A new undertaking has been added to my former 
 principal ones ; namely, the foundation of a seminary, as 
 I may call it, for governesses. Little girls will be trained 
 there for this employment whose parents belong to the 
 higher classes, but are reduced in circumstances. They 
 will be received without payment. All the appointed 
 teachers, male and female, will work without pecuniary 
 recompense, simply for the sake of doing good ; and I 
 have succeeded in securing some very fair talent for the 
 purpose. Besides Pastor Monckeberg, and a very good 
 writing and ciphering master, several young ladies of the 
 first families will take part in the Institution, and some 
 of my own former scholars. The lady at whose house the 
 children assemble is a foreigner, Madame Lichtenberg,
 
 336 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 from Cassel, whom a remarkable ordering of Providence 
 brought hither ; she is a very sweet woman, who has 
 attached herself very closely to me. The school opened 
 last Tuesday ; to-day I am to give my first lesson there, 
 on religion and the exercise of the understanding. 
 Miss Lotte Graeve, who formerly had a well-established 
 school of her own, is the directress of the whole. The 
 entire arrangement gives me great pleasure. 
 
 * I have another happiness just now, in the granting of 
 our petition for the gift of a site for building our pro- 
 posed model lodging-houses. Details on this subject will 
 be found in my Seventh yearly Eeport.' She then asks 
 her brother to send her any accounts he can of existing 
 institutions of the same sort in England, and adds : ( I 
 must own, that if you could open to me a pleasant 
 prospect in this respect during my visit to London, it 
 would be a great spur to me to hasten my journey.' 
 She was not yet clear as to her future pecuniary 
 position, and therefore thankfully accepted her brother's 
 offer to pay the expenses of this journey; and after 
 expressing her uncertainty as to what she had to expect, 
 she ends with the words : ' This circumstance causes 
 me very slight anxiety. I have learnt to manage with a 
 little, and what I really need will be sure to come to 
 me in some way or other.' 
 
 She now succeeded according to her wish, in letting 
 Madame Briinnemann's town house, with the exception of 
 two lower rooms which were necessary to her for her school,
 
 LETTERS TO HER BROTHER. 337 
 
 which she had at a moderate rent. There was no longer 
 any hindrance on this account to her visit to England : 
 but there were difficulties enough besides. She thought 
 she could not stay away more than three weeks, and she 
 writes to her brother on the 10th of August : e In any 
 case it costs some trouble to get away for so long : but 
 for the next week or so it cannot be done ; there are so 
 many things that require my presence just now. For 
 instance, there is the final contract to be drawn with 
 the builder to whom we have entrusted the erection of 
 our model lodging-house, and also the one with Dr. 
 Moraht for the Children's Hospital, which is to form part 
 of it. Here at home there has been as yet no regular 
 inventory taken of the property left by my good mother ; 
 and as I consider myself now a sort of steward for her 
 heirs, I would not willingly leave my post until I had 
 provided for the account I may one day have to give of 
 these things.' 
 
 Her brother had announced his readiness to furnish 
 any help which might be wanting in a pecuniary point 
 of view, and her answer is too characteristic to be omitted 
 here. She writes : ' I cannot indeed accept your pro- 
 posal in its full extent ; that would be far too much for 
 me. But neither will I quite refuse what your brotherly 
 affection so kindly offers me, especially as I wish to have 
 my school-room painted and carpeted afresh before 
 winter, and I shall want to buy two or three things to 
 complete my future arrangements. Moreover, I may
 
 338 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 tell you that several of the parents of my pupils have 
 urged me in the kindest manner to make a call upon 
 their purses. I have answered that I can hardly make 
 up my mind to receive payment in any sense for my 
 instruction, but that if I should want it, if I should find 
 myself in difficulty, I would frankly apply to them. It 
 is not difficult to me to ask, and thankfully receive, 
 help. Owing to the carelessness with which I have 
 always allowed myself to treat my material interests, I 
 cannot really say with precision how much I shall 
 require; but having since I was very young always 
 acknowledged the truth of the Platonic maxim, "To 
 want nothing is divine, to want little is to approach 
 to the gods," it is my fixed principle to consume no 
 more than I really want. Not that I mean to reduce 
 myself to the minimum of absolute necessity only to 
 the minimum of that which my position in the world 
 requires, and which is above all needed for free and 
 unimpeded activity in my appointed sphere of employ- 
 ment You, dear ones, may be satisfied for the 
 
 present with the assurance that as far as money is 
 concerned I am thoroughly content with my position, 
 and that I find it much more comfortable to have rich 
 friends than to be rich myself; and I thank God for 
 saving me from the " embarras des richesses." ' 
 
 In September of this, year she writes to Minna 
 Hosch : 
 
 ' Among the things which occupy more of my time
 
 LOVE OF SOCIAL INTERCOURSE. 339 
 
 than they used to do, I must reckon my social engage- 
 ments. I have more claims of this kind made upon me, 
 and I will not deny that I am very willing to admit 
 them. Don't you remember what old Miss Dimpfel 
 used to say of herself "I am a gregarious animal?" 
 I think I must reckon myself one of the same race. 
 Eveiy fortnight she paid a visit to her cousin, Mr. 
 Sieveking, the Syndic, and his family, at their country- 
 seat at Ham, near Hamburg, where she felt much at home 
 and very happy. He was the son of that remarkable 
 person, her aunt Mrs. Sieveking, so often mentioned, 
 and she possessed in this distinguished man a friend and 
 counsellor in the true sense of the words. Foreigners 
 and natives assembled at his house in unrestrained and 
 spirit-stirring companionship, and the best interests of 
 humanity were there discussed with the freedom and 
 intelligence which result from a high cultivation both of 
 heart and mind. Dr. Wichern, of the neighbouring 
 ' Eauhe Haus,' was here a valued friend and guest. 
 The progress of the Home Mission excited the warmest 
 sympathy, and the great ideas of the newly-awakened 
 Christian life which were contemporaneously stirring in 
 many of the deepest minds found the truest response 
 in a circle whose soul and centre, the master of the 
 house, combined in himself the advantages of varied 
 mental culture, great knowledge of the world and of 
 mankind, with a singularly unprejudiced understanding 
 and most active intellect. This intercourse proved very 
 
 Z 2
 
 340 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 animating and helpful to all active minds who took 
 part in it, and Miss Sieveking was vividly conscious of 
 the advantage of such a recreation. She had offered to 
 give religious instruction to the eldest daughter, an offer 
 which had been joyfully accepted ; and after describing 
 these pleasures she breaks out again with the words, ' My 
 dearest Minna, I am very, very happy! "With this 
 assurance, with which I fain would give glory to my God 
 and Saviour, let me end my letter.'
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 1839-1842. 
 
 VISIT TO HER RELATIONS IN LONDON ATTACK OF ILL- 
 NESS SUCCESS OF THE ASSOCIATION REFUSAL OF A 
 
 PROPOSAL FROM THE HAMBURG INFIRMARY BUILDING 
 
 AND ARRANGEMENTS OF THE MODEL LODGING-HOUSE, AND 
 COMMENCEMENT OF THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL ENLARGE- 
 MENT AND ENRICHMENT OF HER WORK JOURNEY TO 
 
 BREMEN. 
 
 IN October 1839 the long-projected journey to London 
 took place, and Miss Sieveking enjoyed a few 
 weeks of intercourse with her brother and sister, full of 
 interest and refreshment both for mind and body. She 
 visited many benevolent institutions in London, and 
 became acquainted with several well-known personages 
 in this particular line Mrs. Fry, Lady Bentinck, and 
 others mentioned in the interesting journal which she 
 kept at this time. When she returned to Hamburg, 
 such a rush of business of the most various kinds came 
 upon her that it was a hard matter to get through it, 
 and perhaps in consequence of this she was attacked by 
 a strange fit of illness, which she mentions in her first
 
 342 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 letter to her brother, bearing date November the 8th. 
 'On the 28th of October,' she there says, 'we had an 
 auction in our house, which was to be continued on the 
 29th. In the morning I had risen at my usual early 
 hour, without feeling at all unwell. I breakfasted, read 
 and wrote as usual, when suddenly there came upon me, 
 not a fainting-fit, but a total loss of consciousness. I 
 have since looked at what I had written : the last word 
 was finished, in the proper connection, and with a 
 perfectly firm hand, but it broke off in the midst of 
 a sentence. As I was all alone in the room, I cannot 
 exactly say how long this unnatural state lasted. At 
 half-past seven the maid came in, and perceived by my 
 staring look and unconnected speech that something 
 strange had happened to me. I could not in the least 
 remember that we had had an auction the day before ; 
 but perhaps it was a sign of returning sense, that I 
 myself concluded from this loss of memory that I must 
 be ill and desired to have the doctor ; when he came I 
 was able to speak and answer his questions. He ordered 
 me to go to bed at once, and impressed upon the 
 people that I must be kept perfectly quiet and allowed 
 to see nobody. As soon as I lay down my mind 
 became perfectly clear ; but I did not feel the smallest 
 inclination to get up, nor even to employ myself in bed, 
 by which I perceived that I was really ill. The next 
 day I returned to my occupations, only the children were 
 not allowed to come, nor was I permitted to attend the
 
 ATTACK OF ILLNESS. 343 
 
 weekly meeting prohibitions to which I submitted 
 willingly, because I had some pain in my head and felt 
 somewhat weakened. The third day it was all gone off; 
 I could give my lessons without the least exertion, and 
 I have never had the smallest return of the same kind 
 of illness. As a possible cause for this strange accident, 
 I can only mention a very serious annoyance which had 
 been occasioned me the day before not, however, by my 
 children nor any of my poor people. I had been deeply 
 indignant, and had expressed my indignation in a manner 
 which, on the calmest reflection, I cannot think to have 
 been unjust, and then had felt deep compassion for the 
 pain of the individual whom I had thus brought to shame. 
 Immediately before the attack I had been busy with very 
 different things; but with the first dawn of returning 
 consciousness that dismal history was again before my 
 mind. I could not have believed that anything of the 
 kind could have had such an influence upon me. My 
 dearest, the doctor declares that the whole thing is of 
 little importance, and I believe he is entirely right, and 
 I write with anything rather than the wish to make you 
 anxious ; but you will not wonder if I say that it has im- 
 pelled me to ask myself how if it were an admonition 
 from the Lord of life and death, warning me that a more 
 serious summons will soon come ? Thank Grod I may say 
 that I am not afraid of the question. Life is dear to 
 me, as you know, and how should it not be so ? Is riot 
 my life bright with a thousand blessings? You know I
 
 344 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKIXG. 
 
 have always been opposed to that dreary kind of piety 
 \vhich thinks it needful to slander our pilgrim life upon 
 earth in order to magnify the glories of heaven. No, 
 I can never set heaven and earth in such opposition to 
 each other : it is my deepest conviction that earth has 
 within it the germ of heaven, and if in no other way, 
 at least in the hearts of believers. " The kingdom of God 
 is within you," and " whosoever believeth in me hath 
 eternal life" these are sayings from the lips of our 
 Divine Master of the deepest and most glorious import. 
 And because through the mercy of my God I have 
 experienced something of it in myself, therefore I go on 
 my pilgrim path so joyfully; at times I really cannot 
 express how deeply I feel that all is well with me. But 
 if the journey be fair, shall the home we are seeking 
 have no charms for us ? Is not everything there better 
 and fairer still? Now I am once more at work with 
 pleasure and gladness and with undiminished strength, 
 and I will work as long as it is day, but the time will 
 surely come when I shall feel weary with the burden of 
 my labour. Then may it be with me as with a child 
 that has played merrily and learnt many things too, and 
 now tired out, goes smilingly to sleep in his mother's 
 arms, to wake next day to still happier play and better 
 learning ! We know the Eternal Love passeth the love of 
 mothers : must not their rest be sweet who slumber in 
 His arms ? I cannot tell whether I shall retain to the 
 end of my life the spirit of gladness which now
 
 HOPES FOR THE FUTURE. 345 
 
 pervades my whole existence ; it comes from Christian 
 faith no doubt, but it is not purely and entirely the 
 offspring of it, and there may well be dark hours in 
 store for me, when I shall be deeply taught the humbling 
 lesson of my natural helplessness. Only of this my, 
 conviction stands firm as a rock, that the sun which has 
 risen upon me may be hidden for a while by clouds and 
 mist, but they cannot quench it, and ere long all dark- 
 ness shall be scattered by its beams. A long-continued 
 disturbance of my powers of thought does indeed seem 
 now very melancholy ; and if I should venture to 
 entreat anything for myself from my Grod it would be 
 that he would preserve me from this, and I think he will 
 do so ; but if not, if He should deem even this needful 
 forme to keep me from the pride of intellect should I 
 desire to bind His loving hand ? Is not that hand a 
 Father's hand, even when it chastens ? And would such 
 disturbance of the mind be more than a passing cloud ? 
 
 ' Once more I must repeat, the physician's expressions 
 by no means warrant my taking the matter so seriously. 
 But I always think it is prudent to make up one's 
 accounts betimes, and I think you would be glad, in 
 case of anything that may possibly befall me, to know 
 that I had beforehand contemplated it as possible.' 
 
 Large subscriptions had come in for her Association 
 immediately after her return from England, and on the 
 very first day that goods of the poor people's manufac- 
 ture were offered for sale they had sold to the amount
 
 346 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 of 700* marks. She observes here: 'All these are 
 indeed only outward means, and if the right spirit be 
 wanting to use them they will be of little avail. But 
 gtill they are necessary ; and so far as love for the cause 
 can testify to a right spirit in such work, I have reason 
 for nothing but thankfulness and joy. I was really 
 touched by the affection with which the members of the 
 Association received me on my return ; and still more so- 
 this winter, the first time I attended their meeting 
 after my illness, when Mrs. Orthmann in the name of the 
 other ladies bid me welcome in a few cordial words, and 
 handed me a sum of 70 marks,f for my own special 
 free disposal in gifts to the poor. They had collected 
 this money amongst themselves as a testimony of their 
 joy at my recovery, although many of them have 
 really almost nothing to spare for themselves. Alas! 
 what have I done to deserve the love I meet with on all 
 sides ? Do not take this expression for mock humility : 
 it springs from a genuine conviction that many people 
 think me m uch better than I really am. People are easily 
 dazzled by u outward and visible work.' 
 
 About this time an offer was made to Miss Sieveking, 
 which like the proposal of Pastor Fliedner would have 
 seemed to her ten years ago to be a call from heav.en, 
 but which she now no longer felt to be such, partly for 
 the same reasons that were mentioned on that occasion, 
 
 * 4 11. sterling. f 4. sterling.
 
 THE AMALIENSTIFT. 347 
 
 and partly on grounds connected with the particular 
 institution now under consideration. The proposal 
 was that she should undertake the superintendence of 
 the women's division of the Hamburg General In- 
 firmary. 
 
 She announces this proposal and her refusal in a few 
 short lines addressed to her brother on the 3rd of April 
 1840, and mentions at the same time the death of 
 Madame Briinnemann's son-in-law. She says : 
 
 ' I lose in him one of my oldest and truest friends. I 
 do not think that in the thirty years that I have been 
 connected with him he ever gave me the smallest cause 
 of complaint, while he had a thousand claims upon my 
 gratitude. Although we were by no means agreed in 
 all our views in life, I think I may say that we reposed 
 confidence in each other to a degree which is not 
 common among mankind.' 
 
 The building plans which now occupied Miss Sieve- 
 king's attention have been repeatedly mentioned in her 
 letters, and out of these arose the Amalienstift, with its 
 Children's Hospital. 
 
 The want of suitable homes for the poor had led the 
 Association to devote to the erection of a small number 
 of dwellings of this description a sum of 10,300 marks 
 banco,* which had been given them in 1837 by an old 
 man residing in another part of the country. The city 
 
 * 792/. sterling.
 
 348 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 authorities had upon their petition granted the ne- 
 cessary ground for a site : but the capital was not yet 
 sufficient, and Miss Sieveking proposed to Dr. Moraht, 
 who had long been planning a children's hospital, to join 
 with him in carrying out their respective schemes. It 
 was arranged that he should hand over to the building 
 fund of the Association a contribution of 1,500 marks 
 banco,* in return for which they should bind themselves 
 to allot to him in the new building the rooms required for 
 his purpose, and also to provide the attendance necessary 
 for the children from their own resources. The care 
 of their board and the lighting and warming of the sick 
 wards was also undertaken by the Association for a 
 moderate remuneration. To this 1,500 marks other 
 gifts were afterwards added, so that the total sum 
 amounted to 13,496f marks 13 schillings banco; and at 
 Michaelmas 1839, when the site was granted, the 
 building was begun. The new institution comprised 
 nine dwellings, each with an ante-room, sitting-room, 
 and bed-room, with several large apartments common 
 to all ; and for the Children's Hospital two large wards 
 with from fourteen to sixteen beds, and two smaller ones 
 for baths, linen, and other stores. As early as the autumn 
 of 1840 it was occupied by the poor families, and on 
 the 15th November it was solemnly opened for the 
 purpose. After the singing of a hymn, Miss Sieveking 
 
 * 115/. f 1,038/.
 
 OPENING OF THE AMALIENSTIFT. 349 
 
 made an address to the inmates, who were assembled 
 together with a few friends of the institution, and in 
 simple and hearty words explained to the people the 
 aim and object of the undertaking, pointed out to them 
 their own duties, and drew a picture of Christian house- 
 hold economy and Christian fellowship. This address 
 is printed in the Ninth Eeport. The rooms set apart for 
 the Children's Hospital were first inhabited somewhat 
 later. Thus was a new work called into life, on which 
 the foundress of the institution might look with joy and 
 pride, and which indeed she afterwards called the pearl 
 of her Association. 
 
 Her own life became more and more full: but she 
 knew how to set the necessary limits to the ever- 
 enlarging sphere of her activity. On the 28th of 
 September 1 810 she writes to Miss Hosch, after speaking 
 of the newly-erected seminary for the instruction of 
 girls, where she occasionally gave lessons : ' And then 
 I have been elected a member of an Association for the 
 care of discharged convicts. The president of this 
 body is the superintendent of police, the vice-presidents 
 are several inspectors of prisons and other gentlemen ; 
 I am the only lady who belongs to it. Another field 
 of usefulness was lately opened to me by a request that 
 I would establish an association for the regular visiting 
 of female prisoners. Much as a proposal of this kind 
 attracts me, I have as yet not definitively accepted it. I 
 must once more carefully take the measure of my powers;
 
 S50 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIETEKING. 
 
 I would not willingly undertake what I might not be 
 able to carry through, or only at the expense of the 
 duties already undertaken by me.' 
 
 In the same letter she says : 
 
 ' That I should go oftener into company than I did in 
 my good mother's lifetime is but natural. I have so many 
 claims of this kind made upon me, that I must be on my 
 guard not to multiply such engagements quite too much. 
 If I chose I might be out every day. The best of it is 
 that everybody knows how precious my time is, and so 
 nobody requires of me to stay longer than is convenient 
 to myself. I therefore dine with my friends in the 
 middle of the day, and go away directly after ; or I go 
 in quite late, about nine o'clock in the evening. In this 
 way I often invite myself as a guest to my distant 
 acquaintances, particularly when I have, business with 
 them, which owing to the many affairs I am engaged 
 in very often happens, and thus I secure a threefold 
 advantage the despatch of the business, a pleasant 
 recreation for myself, and an economical arrangement. 
 If I wish to dine at home I have only to tell the people 
 of the house, and I have a good meal for six schillings,* 
 which certainly is an important saving of time, for the 
 whole thing is despatched in ten minutes. My whole 
 position is such that I have urgent cause for daily and 
 hearty thanksgiving to my God. Good health, a 
 
 * Not quite sixpence English.
 
 A SOLITARY SUNDAY. 351 
 
 competent income, numerous friends, and above all a 
 calling which is a daily well-spring of joy to me what 
 can one wish for more in this earthly life ? ' 
 
 In a letter of May 1841 she describes to Miss Hosch 
 one of her solitary Sundays in town : 
 
 'A little before five o'clock this morning I rose, jumped 
 out of bed, and washed from head to foot in cold water, 
 then breakfasted at six, and was busy writing till about 
 ten, partly for the children and partly for the Associa- 
 tion. I then attended service at the French Reformed 
 Church. With shame I must confess that on the whole 
 I am but a bad church-goer, and that the task of listen- 
 ing to a sermon from beginning to end with undivided 
 attention is one that I have perhaps never accomplished. 
 As one always likes to find the cause of a fault in 
 something external, when perhaps it lies entirely in 
 oneself, I have various objections to make to the 
 arrangements of our service, and I fancy that I should 
 be more interested in it if this or that were differently 
 ordered. Of course I truly feel that the opinion of faithful 
 and attentive church-goers must be allowed more weight 
 than mine : but in one point I think I could really make 
 good my opinion that is, that the sermons of evan- 
 gelical preachers ought always to be homiletic, and that 
 they should limit themselves to explaining a portion of 
 Holy Scripture, verse by verse, and bringing it home to 
 the hearts of their hearers in its bearing upon their 
 daily life in a simple and inartificial manner. I find that
 
 352 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 in almost all sermons the Word of God is lost in a throng 
 
 o 
 
 of man's words. When I return from church I usually 
 take a little luncheon ; but on the days when I keep 
 school I have no time for this, and then I never feel the 
 want of it. I often take nothing for nearly twelve hours, 
 from half-past five in the morning till five in the evening. 
 I hold that eating and drinking are very much a matter 
 of habit, and that one may limit oneself in them far more 
 than is usually done. After luncheon on Sundays I 
 generally return to the work that occupied me before 
 church. The accumulation of this is so great and so 
 continually growing, that it is scarcely possible really 
 to keep up with it ; and so it is very seldom, indeed, 
 that I can put it aside for half an hour, as I have done 
 to-day, to give myself to letter-writing. At three o'clock 
 comes my dinner, which, now that old Mr. L - (an 
 old bachelor) is become my landlord, is fetched from a 
 neighbouring cook's shop : but the manner in which I 
 take it would to most people seem very uncomfortable. 
 Even as a child I had a great admiration for Diogenes, 
 who drank out of a wooden cup, and when he saw a 
 boy drink from the palm of his hand threw away 
 the cup as a superfluity. To limit one's wants to the 
 smallest compass, and to do everything for oneself with- 
 out requiring help, seemed to me something fine and 
 admirable. Although a nearer acquaintance with the 
 requirements of social life has greatly modified my views 
 in this respect, yet I must confess that a certain amount
 
 A SOLITARY SUNDAY. 353 
 
 of cynicism still attaches to me where my own person only 
 is concerned. Many things which other people reckon 
 among the comforts of life seem to me an unnecessary 
 burden, and much which other people weary themselves 
 to procure so little effects my enjoyment that I would 
 not move a finger to secure it. For instance, I think 
 it quite too much trouble to set out a table for my 
 dinner, and it tastes quite as good when I eat it, so to 
 speak, out of my hand ; I hardly sit down to it, and it 
 never takes more than ten minutes at most; so that 
 dining with friends is always a considerable sacrifice of 
 time, which, however, I am willing enough to make 
 three or four times a week, because their society is 
 always a pleasant refreshment to me, which at times I 
 really require. On Sunday afternoon I generally visit 
 some of our poor families, and when I return home 
 from this walk I drink either tea or coffee and look at 
 the newspaper. I can never allow myself time for more 
 than this cursory news-reading, but I do not feel any 
 need of it. I do not want for entertainment, nor for 
 food for heart and mind, for my employment as a 
 teacher requires of me some acquaintance with many 
 branches of knowledge. After tea I go to work again, 
 as in the morning, till about nine o'clock, when I make 
 holiday and usually visit some of my good friends, from 
 whom I come back about eleven o'clock and go to bed, 
 and am almost invariably fast asleep in a few minutes. 
 So here you have the- picture of one of my solitary 
 
 A A
 
 354 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXO. 
 
 Sundays. Occasionally I dine with friends in the country. 
 On working days things are not so uniform, and I think 
 you, accustomed as you are to quiet and solitude, 
 would almost turn giddy to see the drive and throng 
 in which I live, and the number of affairs that claim 
 my attention.' 
 
 This year she accompanied her cousin Mr. Sieveking 
 on a visit to Liibeck, and made use of the morning 
 hours during her stay with her friend Mr. Pauli to 
 write her Ninth Report. 
 
 This arrangement, by which she gained undisturbed 
 rest and leisure, together with the refreshment and re- 
 creation of a visit to such dear friends, was often repeated 
 in after years ; and Miss Sieveking was also able to em- 
 ploy the time of her visits to the Queen of Denmark 
 at Sorgenfrei in writing her Reports or in other labours 
 of the pen, for which her ordinary life afforded no leisure, 
 so much was collectedness of mind a habit and a 
 necessity with her, and so thoroughly had she brought 
 her whole life and her mental powers under rule and 
 order. Most persons would have found their attention 
 distracted by the excitement and unquiet of such un- 
 usual circumstances ; but she remained true to her 
 inward habit of order, and although by no means in- 
 sensible to the distinction shown her, and the many en- 
 joyments connected with it, her mind remained calm, 
 clear, and collected, and never for a moment did she 
 lose her mental balance.
 
 VISIT TO BREMEN. 355 
 
 In October 1841 Miss Sieveking went to Bremen, 
 and in March 1842 she describes this expedition to her 
 brother : * I accepted a most friendly and pressing in- 
 vitation from that excellent man Pastor Treviranus to 
 pay him a visit at Bremen, and thus also to meet the 
 wish of a number of ladies, who shortly before had met 
 together to establish a visiting association on the plan 
 of the Hamburg one, and now were anxious to make 
 acquaintance with me and take counsel with me upon 
 many subjects. A journey to Bremen takes less time 
 than many less distant places, because the diligence 
 always goes at night. So I set off one Wednesday 
 after holding our meeting, arrived at my destination 
 early on Thursday, and stayed till the following Tuesday 
 evening. On the Friday I had two hours' friendly 
 conversation with the Committee of Management, 
 consisting of eight ladies, one clergyman, and a Mr. B. 
 as Treasurer. They asked me to hold a meeting, at 
 which all the members might attend. I replied that I 
 should much like to attend one of their meetings, at 
 which the younger members of the Association would 
 be present, and so to become better acquainted with 
 their manner of doing business. But they all replied, 
 No, that was not what they meant : they had scarcely 
 arranged their order of business, so few of their asso- 
 ciates were yet at work. What they desired was, that I 
 should help to excite more interest in the cause, and 
 meet some objections which had been raised. At first 
 
 A A 2
 
 356 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELJIINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 I was doubtful about consenting to this ; not that I was 
 afraid of speaking to a larger number of persons, but 
 that it was not clear to me what I should have to say, 
 I had already pretty thoroughly expressed my opinion 
 upon so many points. The chief part of what I could 
 recommend for consideration on the subject was to be 
 found in my Eeports, and it goes against me to be the 
 mere echo of my own sayings or writings. But when 
 they explained more exactly what they really wished for 
 namely, a history of the origin and progress of our 
 Association, with a refutation of the objections made to 
 it, I perceived that this was really a new subject which 
 I had never handled, and I expressed myself ready to 
 do what they asked. I also assented to their request 
 that a few other ladies who were interested in the cause 
 might be invited, besides the members of the Asso- 
 ciation. At the appointed hour Mr. Treviranus took 
 me to the place of meeting ; his good wife was obliged 
 by illness to remain at home. As I sat by her bed-side 
 for a few minutes before starting, she pitied me for 
 what I had to go through : but I could assure her I 
 was not in the least afraid. I considered the thing no 
 such grand affair of state, but on the contrary it seems to 
 me a very natural and reasonable proceeding to commu- 
 nicate to others what I know, and as I had simply to 
 speak of what I thoroughly understood I did not 
 believe that I should want for words. Nor did this 
 calmness forsake me when I saw the company assembled,
 
 MEETING AT BEEMEN. 357 
 
 although they were far more numerous than I anticipated. 
 Instead of the fifty or sixty ladies who were expected 
 there were nearly three hundred persons assembled, so 
 that it was found necessary to change the place of 
 meeting to a much larger room. Pastor H. began by 
 the reading of the 112th Psalm, and a short prayer, 
 after which he said in few words what there was to say 
 of the scarcely yet established Bremen Association, and 
 in a manner introduced me to the assembly. Then I 
 made my address, and I may say that throughout I did 
 not feel the least embarrassment. Pastor Mallet wound 
 up with a few kind extempore words of reply, and then 
 offered up a short prayer. When the meeting broke 
 up he was introduced to me, and expressed a wish 
 that I would give him the manuscript of my address, to 
 be printed in the " Church Messenger," of which he is the 
 editor ; but this I was obliged to put off, for I had no 
 manuscript, only a sheet of paper, on which I had 
 shortly noted the principal points to be touched on. 
 And here I found the confirmation of what I had so 
 often maintained, that preachers little understand their 
 vantage-ground when they never preach anything but 
 discourses committed to memory, and so make the 
 sermon a work of art, in which they are apt to forget, 
 that the principal thing is not the beauty of the language, 
 but the demonstration of the spirit and of power. 
 That my simple address effected its purpose, I had 
 many pleasant proofs. As the least of these I may
 
 358 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 mention that a lady came the next day and brought 
 me part of her ornaments, begging me to sell them in 
 Hamburg for the benefit of our Association ; but better 
 than this, the members of the Association here have 
 been animated by it to set to work heartily and with 
 good courage a feeling which was sadly wanting 
 before. In other places, too, the spark has kindled, as 
 for example in Osnaburgh, from whence the rules of 
 an association like our own have been sent to me for 
 approval. So, my dearest, my life becomes in a man- 
 ner multiplied, and an ever richer and fairer monument 
 of the superabounding mercy of God, which can effect 
 great things through the feeblest instruments. I am 
 feelingly enough reminded of my own weakness by 
 these appeals from other places, and I am often quite 
 unable to meet the claims thus made on my exertions. 
 . . . Meantime you need have no fear that I should 
 be tickled with the fancy of hearing myself speak, and 
 look out for opportunities of doing so. If such an occa- 
 sion should offer I would not shrink from making use of 
 it; but if it never occur again I should not trouble myself, 
 and I hardly think that it can do so, because I should 
 certainly never speak again on the same subject, as I 
 dislike everything that is stereotyped, and I cannot 
 easily see what other I could propose to myself.'* 
 
 * This Address was printed in the Tenth Keport
 
 359 
 
 CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 1842, 1843. 
 
 THE FIRE OF HAMBUEG ENLARGEMENT OF THE AMA- 
 
 LIENSTIFT ILLNESSES OF MISS SIEVEKING AND HER 
 
 BROTHER PERSONAL ACQUAINTANCE WITH PASTOR FLIED- 
 
 NER JOURNEY TO DENMARK AND VISIT TO QUEEN 
 
 CAROLINE AMELIA AT SORGENFREI. 
 
 A ND now began the year 1842, when the fearful 
 -^*- calamity of the great fire fell upon the city of 
 Hamburg. The following extract from a letter to her 
 royal friend at Copenhagen gives the truest picture of 
 Miss Sieveking's personal experience during those days of 
 terror. The Queen had pressingly requested a detailed 
 account of the circumstances, and she says in reply: 
 'Where shall I begin and where conclude my history? 
 Your Majesty truly remarks that the demands upon my 
 time are greatly multiplied, and in your great goodness 
 you will make allowance for these hasty lines ; and as 
 you especially enquire how these days passed with me, I 
 venture to believe that a short history of what I went 
 through and witnessed in person may not be un- 
 interesting to you. On points of great and general
 
 360 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKINO. 
 
 interest the newspapers give sufficient details. This 
 day week about this time I was sitting quietly in my 
 room. I had heard no alarm of fire in the night. In the 
 morning I was told that some houses in the Deichstrasse 
 had been burnt down. I thought this a sad, but 
 by no means unusual, occurrence, and with which I 
 had no particular concern. I went quietly to church, 
 and quietly busied myself with writing after church till 
 about three o'clock in the afternoon, when I heard that 
 the tower of St. Nicholas was burning ; and then I per- 
 ceived that the thing was taking a very serious turn. I 
 hastened to the Town Hall, which is very near my own 
 house, and there saw with astonishment that the people 
 were busy packing up. Although I saw the tower burn- 
 ing, this precautionary measure seemed to me a proof 
 of unnecessary alarm. Not to omit any proper care, 
 however, I went to Mr. Repsold, who has the manage- 
 ment of our city fire engines. I could not speak to him, 
 although he was at home. Blinded by the fire, he had 
 been compelled to leave the scene of danger, and was 
 now lying in a dark room with a cold bandage over his 
 eyes. His brother however explained to me, to my no 
 small consternation, that he could answer for nothing ; 
 he could not say how much of Hamburg might be left 
 standing on the morrow if the wind did not change. He 
 thought there was no fear for the Neuenwall, but 
 wherever the wind drove the flames it seemed no power 
 of man could stop them. For fourteen hours the fire
 
 GREAT FIRE OF HAMBURG. 361 
 
 brigade had done their utmost, but now their strength 
 was exhausted, a great many of the engines were 
 damaged, there was a want of men, and so forth. As 
 for the present my own dwelling seemed safe, I ran off to 
 some friends in the Neuenburg to help to save what I 
 could. It had already come to the terrible but 
 necessary measure of blowing up whole buildings. 
 Even into the very house where I was powder was 
 brought. We could no longer go out in front. We 
 climbed down into a boat that was lying at the back of 
 the house, and went by the canal along the burning 
 rows of houses, a sight of whose terrible beauty no 
 one who has not witnessed it could form a conception. 
 As soon as I reached home I ran out again. The fire 
 had by this time extended to the Monkedamm, where 
 many poor families live ; here I offered my assistance, 
 but to my grief many refused it. The good people, 
 who did not know me by sight, perhaps thought that I 
 should take away their valuables and not bring them 
 back : however, I was able to help some of them. 
 At length, as the fire continued to spread, I was obliged 
 to look to the safety of my own property. First I 
 packed up some things, which if consumed by the fire 
 could never be replaced my papers, letters, and 
 writings connected with the Association, and with my 
 method of teaching. One of the first things which I 
 thought of saving was the portfolio containing your 
 Majesty's letters. My kind cousin, Mr. Sieveking the
 
 362 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 Syndic, had told me he was ready to receive me and 
 my goods. But where was I to find the means of 
 transport ? The Syndic's people did what they could, 
 but with all their pains there was nothing to be had 
 but a little cart, which must be drawn by men. Several 
 of my poor people offered to do this : they had thronged 
 around me as soon as they heard of the danger threat- 
 ening me. With their assistance I succeeded in 
 carrying the greater part of my things to the Syndic's 
 house in the Neustadt Fuhlentwiete. I myself carried 
 as much as I could, and was by no means remarkable. 
 Gentlemen and ladies of far higher position than mine 
 were doing the same. So it went on all through the night. 
 The glow of the conflagration made it as light as day, 
 only our eyes were dimmed by the flying ashes : sparks 
 were whirling about, and from time to time came the 
 frightful explosions of the houses that had to be blown up, 
 from which the shattered fragments of glass fell around 
 us. I saw one poor lady fall into the most frightful 
 convulsions from the shock of one of these explosions ; 
 she was obliged to be forcibly lifted into a carriage. 
 Throughout there was a constant running and driving 
 in all directions, and continual cries for help : my pen 
 is too weak to describe the manifold horrors of the scene. 
 Your Majesty's own imagination must complete the 
 picture. I cannot say that I had any strong feeling of 
 personal fear: a naturally very calm temperament 
 makes it easy to me to keep off such feelings ; parti-
 
 GREAT FIRE OF HAMBURG. 363 
 
 cularly when I am not unemployed, but by exerting all 
 my strength can do something to lessen the mischief. 
 By nine o'clock in the morning the greater part of my 
 goods were in safety, but by that time I felt more 
 wearied and exhausted than I had ever done before in 
 my life. I have little that is interesting to tell about 
 Friday, the 6th of May, from personal observation. The 
 conflagration made continual progress, and already the 
 Neustadt, where the Syndic lived, was no longer con- 
 sidered safe. Every one fled: even my cousin, who 
 long kept up heart and hope, at length gave leave for 
 the necessary measures to be taken to secure his effects. 
 So this day went by. I was compelled to be almost 
 totally inactive from extreme exhaustion. Towards 
 evening the house was nearly cleared, and most of the 
 movable effects, not of the Syndic only but of the 
 fugitives whom he had received (I was not the only 
 one), were in safety at Ham and Harvstehude. My 
 cousin was fortunate in having a number of carts from 
 Ham at his command : many were obliged to turn their 
 backs on their well packed-up goods and leave them to 
 burn for want of the means of transport. The tumult 
 in the streets was indescribable. Yet I must say that 
 among the majority of those stricken by the calamity 
 a certain outward calmness prevailed, here and there 
 almost bordering on apathy. The apathy, no doubt, is 
 explained by their utter bodily exhaustion, the external 
 calmness by the very greatness and universality of the
 
 364 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 calamity. The press of circumstances drives people at 
 such times to extreme exertion, and no doubt this is 
 the best preservative against idle laments : and in a 
 misfortune which falls upon so many, each individual is 
 ashamed to rate his own loss too high. With thousands 
 this outward calm is only apparent, and will give way 
 to deep depression when the excitement is over. Oh 
 that with very many it may rise to true Christian 
 resignation, which can say with Job, " the Lord gave, 
 and the Lord hath taken away ; blessed be the name of 
 the Lord ! " 
 
 *As there were no beds left in the Syndic's house I sought 
 quarters for the night in the house of some friends 
 beyond the Dammthor. And so I wandered out of my 
 own dear native city, without knowing whether I had a 
 dwelling left in it or not. The fire had already reached 
 the Neuenwall, but I did not know whether it had 
 extended to my own dwelling. Not till the next day I 
 learnt that it had been spared, and that among so many 
 thousand sufferers the Lord had protected me. Arrived 
 at my friends' house outside the city, I went at 
 once to bed, and though the glowing red sky shone 
 into my eyes as I lay, I fell asleep almost imme- 
 diately from weariness, and did not wake till after 
 several hours of refreshing sleep. Finding myself re- 
 stored next morning, I could not doubt as to the use 
 to be made of my time and strength. The evening 
 before I had witnessed a sight that had made my
 
 GHEAT FIRE OF HAMBURG. 365 
 
 heart bleed, a crowd of poor families, with the little 
 they had saved of their possessions, bivouacking under 
 the open sky. My exertions would naturally be de- 
 voted to these unfortunate people. I went first to the 
 Syndic ; he dissuaded me from setting to work alone, and 
 advised my joining the Eelief Association, which was 
 just forming. The gentlemen who had met for this 
 purpose at Dr. Abendroth's house received me kindly, 
 and since then I have been employed under their 
 direction, in the distribution of the large amount of 
 things placed at our disposal for the mitigation of the 
 general misery. On the occasion of our first consulta- 
 tion on this subject, we saw from the window of 
 the room where we were at work the tower of St. Peter's, 
 which had now caught fire. Some of those present 
 broke out into exclamations, when one of the party said, 
 "Let that be, gentlemen; we can be of no use there; 
 that is not our concern; let us keep to our own 
 business." I was delighted with the vigour which was 
 expressed in these words from the lips of a man who had 
 lost his own beautiful house, with all that it contained. 
 Several more who had been themselves burnt out 
 offered us their services. I was now sent first to invite 
 the poor families who were encamped on the ramparts 
 and outside the gates to return into the city. As the wind 
 had changed, the Neustadt was considered safe, and 
 several large warehouses were placed at our disposal for 
 the reception of the houseless. In these perambulations,
 
 366 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 where the badge of the association, a leaden shield with 
 the words " Eelief Association " upon it, attached to my 
 girdle, secured me free passage everywhere, I witnessed, I 
 can assure your Majesty, many a scene of wretchedness. 
 The wind, which was blowing a gale, drove the hot 
 vapour over to the part where we were. And now the 
 suburb of St. George's was threatened, and whole rows 
 of houses were abandoned by their inmates. Many of 
 the poor families who were encamped upon the ramparts 
 were obliged to be driven away from this place, on 
 account of the measures taken for security, and suffered 
 greatly in this second flight, which naturally took place 
 with much confusion. A quantity of things were 
 thrown at once into the Alster, by order of the 
 authorities, because it was feared that they might 
 take fire from the sparks which were everywhere 
 flying about. Then at such times, alas! there are 
 always bad people, who make the misery of their 
 brethren an occasion to rob and steal. On the first day 
 only a comparatively small number of families accepted 
 my invitation. I was empowered to offer a temporary 
 refuge to all the children at the Orphan-house, but I 
 must say to my satisfaction few of the parents could 
 make up their minds to part from their children 
 in this hour of need and danger ; and in the same way 
 most of the women when we offered them shelter, while 
 their husbands had to stay to watch their goods, answered, 
 "No, where my husband bides, I bide too." Many perhaps
 
 GREAT FIRE OF HAMBURG. 367 
 
 did not thoroughly trust our assurances that there was no 
 more danger in the Neustadt, and were afraid to return 
 to the burning town. It was not till the following 
 days, when (rod at length put a stop to the desolating 
 fire, and we were enabled to receive whole families with 
 their goods in large rooms allotted for the purpose, and 
 when, rain having come on, they felt painfully the 
 discomforts of encamping under the open sky, that they 
 showed more willingness to avail themselves of our 
 offers, and at this moment I believe all have found at 
 least a temporary asylum. Food is provided for them 
 even in superfluity. The sympathy with which persons 
 have come forward to help from far and near has been 
 touching, and they have put us in a position to ward off 
 the most urgent destitution by their generous contribu- 
 tions of provisions, bedding, and clothing. . . . My great 
 anxiety now is to check as far as possible the de- 
 moralising influence that the whole affair may easily 
 have upon a certain class of the poor. Many who have 
 hitherto been ashamed of the name of beggary may, now 
 that they certainly have no cause to be ashamed of the 
 name, acquire some taste for the thing, and for the 
 future find it more convenient to let other people feed 
 them than to provide their own living by their own 
 great exertions: to others, I fear, this fire will furnish, 
 for years to come, matter for very credible romances 
 with which to find a way to the purses of the rich. Food 
 and shelter must of course at first be given to all
 
 368 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 without distinction. With regard to bedding and 
 clothing we are more cautious, and do not give without 
 enquiry. We make it a .principal object to procure 
 workmen's tools ; there will soon be plenty of work, and 
 I really believe that for the labouring class the time 
 of need will be but a passing one. On this occasion I pity 
 the poorest less than the more wealthy. Those who have 
 lost little can soon have that little replaced, but the 
 ruin of a prosperous condition is not so easily repaired. 
 Oh that the Lord's gracious will may be fulfilled in all.on 
 whom His chastening hand has been so heavily laid ! 
 may they through this trial learn to heed His word, and 
 may they suffer that word to lead them to Himself, and 
 in thorough abnegation of their own will, humbly and 
 joyfully submit themselves to His holy purposes!' 
 
 Miss Sieveking's tenth yearly Keport touches on those 
 results of this catastrophe which affected the Association, 
 the disadvantages of which were soon made up by the 
 blessing which so visibly rested upon it. The number 
 of members now amounted to fifty-three, and they met 
 in two divisions, which she presided over alternately. 
 The receipts of the Association in this year amounted 
 to 11,842 marks 7^ schillings.* The Amalienstift was 
 prospering, and in October 1841 the first child was 
 received into the Children's Hospital ; in the course of 
 the year ten more came in. During the terrible days 
 
 696Z. 12s. sterling.
 
 RESULTS OF THE FIRE. 369 
 
 of the fire the institution had afforded a welcome 
 temporary refuge to nearly a hundred houseless persons. 
 The members of many associations, which in a certain 
 sense considered themselves the offspring of the one at 
 Hamburg, had come forward at that dreadful time 
 with gifts and expressions of personal affection for 
 Amelia Sieveking, and thus she first learnt the existence 
 of several of them. In this Tenth Report she publicly 
 thanks her sisters in Liibeck, Ratzeburg, Stade, Bremen, 
 Zell, Hanover, Juliers, Stolberg-Wernigerode, Weimar, 
 Gotha, Osnaburgh, Gottingen, Stuttgard, Frankfort-on- 
 the-Maine, Berne, St. Gall, and Zurich. 
 
 The fire also gave occasion in an indirect way for the 
 enlargement of the Amalienstift. Soon after it took 
 place, Syndic Sieveking made a proposal to the Board 
 which had been established for the distribution of the 
 funds received for the relief of the sufferers, which 
 proposal, being zealously supported by several persons 
 who approved of it, led to the following agreement. 
 The Association bound itself to erect two buildings, 
 each comprising twenty-four tenements, by Martin- 
 mas 1842, and to place these tenements at the free 
 disposal of the Board of Relief, for the space of three 
 years. The Board, on the other hand, promised to 
 deliver all the bricks that should be required free 
 of cost upon the place, to pay 30 per cent, of the 
 remaining expense of the building, and 4 per cent. 
 
 L 11
 
 870 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 interest on the 20,000 * marks courant which were to be 
 borrowed on mortgage, and also to meet the cost of any 
 repairs which should be required during the three years. 
 At Martinmas 1845, the Association was to enter on the 
 enjoyment of its full right of property in the buildings, 
 which were henceforth to be put to the same purpose 
 as the one already existing as the Amalienstift. The 
 ground necessary for the site was at the same time 
 granted in free gift by the Senate. 
 
 In the spring of 1843, Miss Sieveking's beloved 
 brother in England had a severe illness, and his recovery 
 was very slow. She writes to him on the 30th of May : 
 * I must tell you that out of sisterly sympathy I have 
 been ill in imitation of you, though in a much slighter 
 degree. It was a gastric fever, beginning with an at- 
 tack of spasms, followed by a state of unconsciousness 
 which lasted nearly an hour. For two or three days I 
 felt really ill, and I remained confined to bed for ten 
 days by the imperative command of my physician. The 
 complaint took its regular course, and is now pretty well 
 over.' 
 
 About this time Miss Sieveking made the personal 
 acquaintance of Pastor Fliedner, of Kaiserswerth, who 
 came to Hamburg on purpose to find out whether she 
 would be willing to undertake the situation of President 
 of an institution on the model of his own, which the 
 King of Prussia was desirous to establish at Berlin. 
 * 1,1 761. sterling.
 
 DECLINES TO GO TO BERLIN. 371 
 
 She declined this position, but proposed, as peculiarly 
 
 fitted for it, one of her own former pupils, who, at her 
 
 recommendation, had for three years occupied the post 
 
 originally offered to herself in the Hamburg Infirmary. 
 
 This negotiation ended differently, by the marriage of 
 
 Pastor Fliedner, now a widower, with this dear and 
 
 valued friend of Miss Sieveking, who henceforward lived 
 
 and worked most usefully in the Institution at Kaisers- 
 
 werth. On this occasion she remarks : * Had any one 
 
 told me, ten years ago, that I should refuse such a 
 
 call as this which has been made upon me, I should 
 
 scarcely have believed it possible. But I am quite 
 
 clear in my own mind that, being what I am, I am best 
 
 where God has placed me, and where He has granted 
 
 me so many blessings. In particular, I am too much 
 
 accustomed to an entirely independent development 
 
 of my own religious life, not to feel cramped by being 
 
 subjected to forms prescribed by others. Another reason 
 
 is, that owing to the peculiarities of my position it would 
 
 not be easy to find a fitting substitute here, while I do 
 
 not fear any difficulty in finding a suitable person to 
 
 fill the other post, so powerfully and so generally is the 
 
 necessity for such employment now stirring in the 
 
 hearts of persons of our sex. I meet with numerous 
 
 proofs of this, to my great delight.' 
 
 This was indeed one chief reason which satisfied Miss 
 Sieveking as to her own peculiar task : her idea had been 
 called into life ; her wish w.as fulfilled, though in another 
 
 ? B 2.
 
 372 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 manner than she had formerly desired ; the Sisterhood 
 of Mercy was founded in the Protestant Church; the 
 institution grew and worked for good, and no longer 
 needed her assistance. She herself had found her place, 
 and was convinced that the Lord had chosen for her 
 this, and no other. 
 
 Her brother, on receiving the above account of her 
 illness, had entreated her to take more care of her health, 
 and she replies to him on the 9th of June : ' This is a 
 subject which I have now to hear handled with many 
 variations, yet I musjb confess that no reasoning can 
 deprive me of my indwelling conviction, that I have a 
 certain power over my own body, and so far as this 
 power extends, I think it an indisputable duty to make 
 use of it. That I do not carry this too far, the fact 
 must bear witness, that I allowed myself to be confined 
 to my bed for ten whole days, by my doctor's orders, 
 although I thought them unnecessarily strict. When 
 on the third day after I got up, the children assembled 
 once more around me, he shook his head indeed, but he 
 did not put a decided veto upon it, and the result proved 
 that I had not given myself too much credit. I could 
 teach without any unusual exertion, and since then my 
 strength has increased daily, and I consider myself now 
 quite restored. That I received many proofs of sympathy 
 and friendship at the time of my illness, I scarcely need 
 tell you. Yes, indeed, much affection has been shown 
 me, and there lies a rich blessing in this experience
 
 VISIT TO SORGESFREI. 373 
 
 also, to be able for awhile only to receive and have 
 nothing to give in return.' 
 
 Late in the autumn of this year, 1843, Miss Sieve- 
 king accepted a pressing invitation from Queen Caroline 
 Amelia of Denmark, and spent a few weeks with her at 
 Sorgenfrei. About a year before she had met the noble 
 lady at Plon, where the King and Queen were then 
 staying, and since that time she had been studying the 
 Danish language, in order to be prepared for the pro- 
 mised first visit to Copenhagen. The study of foreign 
 languages was always a peculiar pleasure to her, and 
 she pursued it, as she did all her avocations, with zeal 
 and perseverance, and always with an eye to practical 
 usefulness. This visit to the royal residence was to her 
 an abiding gain in memory, and she preserved the im- 
 pressions derived from her daily intercourse with the 
 Queen in a journal kept on the spot. She liked to 
 keep such records of all her journeys, whether long or 
 short; partly to retain a lasting picture of passing 
 occurrences, partly that she might share them with her 
 pupils and friends, and, true to her innate love of 
 teaching, communicate to others her new impressions 
 in her own manner. 
 
 From this journal of her first visit to Copenhagen, we 
 shall extract a few characteristic passages. Among other 
 matters it relates the foundation of an Association in that 
 city for the care of the sick and poor. On the 1st of October 
 she travelled to Kiel in the diligence, and remarks :
 
 374 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 * To travel only for travelling's sake, without a special 
 object in view, would never afford me any pleasure. So 
 I have often thought, but I was strongly reminded of 
 it yesterday in the diligence, although I had the good 
 luck to travel in very pleasant company. But to sit 
 in a carriage a whole day, with nothing to do, is very 
 tedious to me, and therefore extremely fatiguing. The 
 greatest exertion in doing my own proper work tires 
 me less than such forced idleness.' 
 
 Eooms were provided for Miss Sieveking at an hotel 
 in Copenhagen, and at Sorgenfrei she had a stately apart- 
 ment, and was treated with the greatest attention as the 
 honoured guest of the Queen. But as she had come, 
 according to her own expression, with a serious deter- 
 mination to behave quite naturally, and not to appear 
 anything but what she was, she remained just the same 
 in this new and unaccustomed sphere, and soon found 
 her right place. She had the most confidential con- 
 versations with the Queen, and the attraction she had 
 felt from the first towards that distinguished lady grew 
 into a feeling of respectful and tender friendship by the 
 interchange of their varied experience and views, and 
 the many interests common to both. 
 
 * This morning,' says the journal, * we had a theo- 
 logical conversation on the subject of the final restitution 
 of all things, on antichrist, and the millennium. These 
 two last topics especially interest the Queen, but I 
 could only acknowledge that I have never made them
 
 VISIT TO SORGENFREI. 375 
 
 the subject of any serious enquiry and meditation, 
 and so my opinions respecting them are anything but 
 fixed.' 
 
 She writes, on occasion of another conversation : ( The 
 tyranny of a despot seems to me less terrible than 
 anarchy, the tyranny of the people, i.e. many thousand 
 tyrants in place of one.' ' I think,' she says, soon after, 
 'that we should not be too ready to lay the blame 
 of all our defects upon those who brought us up. No 
 doubt all human education leaves much to be desired ; 
 but then, in each case, it is linked to that education 
 which continues through life, under the immediate 
 guiding of Grod Himself, and which, if only we use it 
 aright, is fitted to compensate all those early deficiencies, 
 and to help us to the harmonious development of all 
 our spiritual capacities, which I regard as the one true 
 purpose of our earthly existence*' 
 
 On visiting a school which the Queen had established 
 for little children of the lower classes, she found much 
 to praise, but blamed the bodily restlessness and want 
 of regulation in their movements^ ' I know,' she writes, 
 ' that in this respect we cannot expect so much from 
 such little children as from older ones ; and I know, 
 too, that it is a necessity to them to move their limbs ; 
 but I should like to see all these movements regulated 
 by a kind of military discipline. The time when entire 
 stillness is required should be exceedingly limited, but 
 the children should know how to be still as soon as the
 
 376 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 teacher gives the word of command. What may be at- 
 tained in this respect, and how much is gained thereby, 
 I learnt in the English schools on the Lancastrian plan.' 
 
 She quotes from another conversation with the 
 Queen: 'We talked of how important it is, for the 
 advancement of the kingdom of God, that the disciples 
 of Christ should constantly show in their whole manner 
 and conduct how good and pleasant a thing is His ser- 
 vice. Yet we agreed that much which the world con- 
 demns as gloom and austerity is not really so. On this 
 account I think it important that we should learn to 
 maintain a certain reserve before the world in the ex- 
 pression of the truest and holiest feelings, and to avoid 
 all exaggeration which so easily awakens mistrust. We 
 are all only too liable, if we do not keep a careful watch 
 over ourselves in this respect, to make our own in- 
 dividual feeling the standard for everybody else, and 
 think everything overstrained in another which we do 
 not feel as he does. It might have seemed as if I had 
 brought forward this last remark in my own defence, for 
 I can scarcely tell why I was in such a tender mood 
 that my eyes repeatedly filled with tears. The presence 
 of the Queen almost always has this kind of softening 
 effect upon me, though in a less degree ; yet I am so 
 sure that I have always acted sincerely by her, that I 
 cannot fear that, even should she not always understand 
 my feelings, she would charge me with any affectation.' 
 
 Seven ladies had been named to Miss Sievekingf as
 
 FOUNDS A NEW ASSOCIATION. 377 
 
 peculiarly fitted to form the commencement of an Asso- 
 ciation for the care of the sick and poor in Copenhagen. 
 She bad unfolded to the Queen her views and thoughts 
 respecting the relations of the latter to the newly- 
 formed institution ; had conferred with many influen- 
 tial men and women who showed an interest in the 
 subject, and for this purpose made many visits in 
 Copenhagen ; and now the ladies in question, and some 
 gentlemen who offered their support, came together to 
 her hotel, and she made them a short address, which is 
 thus described in the journal : 
 
 ' When all had taken their places, I greeted the 
 assembled company as brothers and sisters in the Lord ; 
 and alleged the wishes- of the Queen and the confidence 
 she placed in me, as the justification for my boldness 
 in coming amongst them as a stranger, and wishing to 
 establish some new thing. Yet (in some such words as 
 these I continued), not in her name alone do I stand 
 here, but rather in the name of One infinitely greater 
 in the name of Him who has said that what we do for 
 the least of His brethren He will regard as done unto 
 Himself. Your excellent Queen who is more than a 
 Queen, a humble follower of Christ shares my deep 
 conviction, that a true and entire blessing can rest 
 on any benevolent work only when it springs from a 
 Christian soil ; and therefore she will enter into no 
 direct personal relations with the new society, lest it 
 should prove a temptation to any jof the weaker-minded
 
 378 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 to do that for her sake which ought to be done to 
 please God. " In the name of Jesus ! " let this motto 
 be the basis on which our Association rests. . . . Let us 
 do whatsoever we do sincerely unto the Lord, and He 
 will acknowledge our work. Yet, let me bear testimony 
 to you, for the glory of His name, how he has magnified 
 His mercy among us, during the eleven years that our 
 Association has lasted. The same happy experience 
 will be yours. There will be difficulties, He will help 
 you to overcome them : your treasury will be emptied, 
 but He will fill it again ; many seeds will seem to have 
 been sown in vain, but then He will suffer you one day 
 to reap a rich harvest, where you least expect it ; and 
 in the end it will be seen that, in His kingdom, even the 
 smallest grain of really good seed is never wholly lost.' 
 
 She then describes the blessing which the workers 
 themselves derive from such works as of the very richest 
 kind, and continues : * But though every Christian work 
 is founded on the same Christian faith, each one has 
 naturally its own peculiar character ; and here, it is the 
 constant personal intercourse with the poor which, in a 
 certain sense, is intended to fill up the gulf which now 
 separates them from the rich. .... And now one 
 word concerning the essence of united action, as such, 
 which I think is not rightly understood in many 
 societies, particularly in associations of women. No 
 aggregate of various powers brought together without 
 rule or order deserves to be described as united action ;
 
 ASSOCIATION IN COPENHAGEN. 379 
 
 this can only subsist where all these powers form an 
 organic whole, which developes itself spontaneously from 
 within, through the necessary connection of its sepa- 
 rate parts. But to maintain this connection the strictest 
 organisation and regularity in business are necessary, 
 and I entreat you to direct your earnest attention to 
 this point from the first.' She then went through the 
 rules with the ladies, and promised to meet them again> 
 in order to give some explanations and advice upon 
 particular questions. Thus was the affair commenced* 
 and it has gone on prosperously. Miss Sieveking made 
 the first visits with the presiding lady, and was able to 
 converse with the poor people in the Danish language. 
 
 She also visited a prison in Copenhagen, in company 
 with a lady who devoted much of her time to the poor 
 prisoners. 
 
 * It was said beforehand, as a matter of course, that 
 such a visit must be peculiarly interesting to me, and 
 so I did not like to object to it, although, in fact, the 
 interest is to me but very secondary, partly because 
 my own vocation in the field of benevolent work 
 is so totally different ; but, chiefly, because I find that 
 so very little comes of these single official visits, if one 
 wishes for anything more than simply to collect statistical 
 notes. It rarely happens that you can get a real in- 
 sight into the spirit of the institution; you see, as a 
 rule, only what the managers choose that you should 
 see.'
 
 380 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKTNG. 
 
 The following note of a conversation with the Queen 
 occurs in the journal : 
 
 'The subject of our conversation was ennui. The 
 right to be dull we would not concede to anyone, at 
 least not to any awakened Christian ; although we were 
 obliged to own that, even among sincerely believing 
 people, there often is such a narrowness of mind as 
 makes it very difficult to find any interest in their con- 
 versation. I here took occasion to recommend a specific 
 against ennui, which seems to me the only really effi- 
 cient remedy to do everything as unto the Lord. 
 This, I think, it is which will give a certain significance, 
 and therefore a certain interest, to everything, and so 
 preserve such an elasticity of mind as can resist the 
 pressure of wearying influences from without. And 
 then, as my excellent aunt, the Syndic's mother, once 
 said to me, when I was quite a girl : " You must 
 not be ennuyee ; I can allow no young girl to be so, 
 even in company ; it is only necessary to know how to 
 take people, and you will always find some interest in 
 them." And of this opinion I found the fullest con- 
 firmation in the way that my good aunt herself knew 
 how to converse with people. Not seldom I have 
 observed with astonishment how the driest and appa- 
 rently dullest natures were, so to speak, electrified by 
 her, and in her presence showed sparks of intellect 
 for which no one would ever have given them credit.' 
 
 Miss Sieveking had been with the Queen to a picture
 
 TISIT TO SORGENFBEI. 361 
 
 gallery, and remarks in the journal : ' I certainly saw 
 many beautiful things, but unfortunately I have no 
 proper taste for art, and as I do not care to exhibit 
 my deficiencies in this respect by passing judgment at 
 haphazard, and as little to dress myself in borrowed 
 plumes, by repeating the remarks of others, I prefer to 
 be silent altogether.' 
 
 She had taken a long walk in the town, in spite of 
 the remonstrances of the black servant whom the Queen 
 had appointed to wait on her, and came back wet through. 
 ' I know,' she writes, ' that the Queen was not pleased 
 at this ; but I cannot play the great lady here any 
 more than in Hamburg, and do not choose to draw on 
 the royal purse for more than is really necessary for 
 my wants.' 
 
 The question had been discussed between her and 
 the Queen, in what relation the spiritual and secular 
 powers ought to stand to each other. * I declared my- 
 self,' she writes, 'for the principle of a perfect in- 
 dependence of the two powers, and as regards the 
 government of the church, for a synodal constitution ; 
 nothing, however, seems clearer to me in history than 
 the rise of the hierarchy, since I must confess, that 
 I know but few among Protestant clergymen in 
 whom a strong disposition to tyrannise over the con- 
 science does not appear, which I account for partly 
 by the natural inclination of all mankind to rule, and 
 partly by the effect of what is called in England " the
 
 382 LIFE OF AMELIA WJLHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 one man's system," by which our clergy are accustomed 
 to be the only speakers, and at length learn to endure 
 less contradiction than the king himself, who must 
 often at the council-board hear more opinions differing 
 from his own than the preacher in the pulpit. As 
 things now are in the world, I remarked, it is certainly 
 a great advantage to the people, that the spiritual and 
 secular powers stand side by side, each keeping a jealous 
 watch to prevent any encroachment on the part of the 
 other. In the same way I believe that it is a blessing 
 for Christendom, that Catholicism and Protestantism 
 should subsist side by side within the Church ; in this 
 world of strife, that which is true and wholesome for man- 
 kind most often proceeds from the conflict of opposites.' 
 The Queen had allotted a certain sum from her privy 
 purse to the newly-established Association, and Miss 
 Sieveking advised her not to give the whole at once, but 
 by instalments, because if the society's purse were too 
 well filled at first, it might easily lead to a want of due 
 economy in the disposal of the funds. If two hundred 
 reichsthalers * were placed at their disposal, it would be 
 considerably more than the Hamburg Association pos- 
 sessed at its commencement. ' On the Queen's inquir- 
 ing,' she continues, * whether I thought this sum still 
 too large, I answered in the negative ; adding, that I 
 believe we must always make a distinction between 
 those with whom an idea first originates, and those who 
 
 * About 3aZ. sterling.
 
 YISIT TO FEEDERIKSBOKG. 383 
 
 only adopt that of another; from the former we may 
 expect a degree of enthusiasm, which will overcome all 
 difficulties ; from the latter we cannot look for this, at 
 least not in an equal degree ; and therefore, so far as 
 we can, we should always make their way a little 
 smoother for them.' 
 
 Miss Sieveking also made one of a hunting party at 
 Frederiksborg, whither, by the King's desire, she had 
 accompanied the Queen. Describing a conversation 
 with a gentleman, she says : 
 
 4 We agreed that it is not really so very difficult to- 
 move freely even in the sphere of courk-life, the forms 
 of which, when once one is accustomed to them, are not 
 altogether to be styled inconvenient. They are oppres- 
 sive only to awkward people, who in their want of 
 tact stumble at everything ; but they become de- 
 structive where, being raised to the dignity of essentials, 
 they stifle intellect and life.' 
 
 On occasion of a conversation with a Danish clergy-* 
 man on the text 1 Cor. xi. 27, Miss Sieveking re- 
 marked : ' There is, I believe, a primeval language, 
 the type of all other languages, which was spoken by 
 the dwellers in paradise, and perhaps will be spoken by 
 the inhabitants of heaven. In every language in the 
 world there are echoes of this primitive speech, which 
 may help towards the understanding of it; but a full and 
 clear comprehension thereof can only be attained here 
 below in those hours of holy exaltation, when a man is,
 
 384 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKING. 
 
 as it were, lifted above the limits of our earthly condi- 
 tion. Whoso is incapable of such spiritual exaltation, 
 cannot perceive what the Spirit of God speaks by the 
 mouth of those whom He inspires. Such an one says, 
 like some of those who witnessed the first Christian 
 Pentecost, "these men are full of new wine." And 
 because to understand inspiration a certain degree of 
 inspiration is needful in the hearer, and this is not 
 always present in an equal measure, as then at 
 Jerusalem it became necessary that whatever was 
 spoken with tongues should have an interpreter.' 
 
 A young girl, in whose inward and outward life Miss 
 Sieveking thought she found much that resembled her 
 own, had opened her whole heart to her at Copenhagen, 
 and she remarks on this subject : 
 
 'She has hitherto been repelled from that which I 
 should call the true Christian life of faith, but which 
 the world calls pietism, by the narrow-mindedness and 
 harshness of some persons who have chosen this mode 
 of thought as the badge of their profession. Perhaps 
 with them it may be more than a mere profession, but 
 in any case their rigidity and one-sidedness unfits them 
 to win over a young and lively mind that yet rejoices in 
 life ; and I feel that it would have been with me as it 
 is with her, gloom and asceticism always repelled more 
 than they attracted me ' 
 
 And so Miss Sieveking's fortnight's sojourn at Sorgen- 
 frei came to an end : she had not gone thither in vain ; in
 
 LEAVES COPENHAGEN. 385 
 
 her modest way she had sown many seeds of good in the 
 various departments suggested to her by the confidence 
 of the Queen, had advised her with tact and discretion on 
 many points, and, as an experienced and independent 
 counsellor, had opened her eyes to some special evils. 
 The relation between them was a noble and a beautiful 
 one, which did honour to both, and certainly was not 
 without a blessing. Miss Sieveking herself had laid up 
 during this visit an enduring treasure of animating 
 recollections. Naturally there are many particulars 
 with regard to her visits to Sorgenfrei and her inter- 
 course with her royal friend which it would not be 
 right to give to the world; but her relations to the 
 Queen formed undoubtedly too important an element in 
 her life to allow their more prominent features to be 
 passed over in silence : and now, in conclusion, part of 
 the last conversation between them recorded in the 
 journal will find here its appropriate place. 
 
 ' I told her,' she says, * that when a few days hence I 
 should have returned to my very simple and narrow 
 home circumstances, I might, perhaps, feel like the 
 prince in Calderon's " Life a Dream" only with this 
 great difference, that I hoped I had not misused the 
 brief splendour of my court life, and moreover, that I 
 should certainly feel it no misfortune to return to my 
 former position, but should be at once at home and 
 comfortable there. In the long run, I certainly should 
 not be fit for a court life : but for this week or two, 
 
 c c
 
 386 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKIXG. 
 
 besides the higher interests which my intercourse with 
 her affords me, I have found much entertainment in it, 
 as it has always been a great pleasure to me to become 
 
 acquainted with entirely new situations in life 
 
 I also said to her, that as every good man, and 
 especially every believing Christian, is in a certain 
 sense a representative of (rod Himself, so in a peculiar 
 manner is the Christian ruler. She had been such to 
 me : for as the humble love that abases itself seems to 
 me the highest that we know of (rod, so it is also in 
 man, and this I had found in her ; and therefore I 
 hoped that the happy hours passed with her would shed 
 a hallowing influence on my whole future life. She 
 replied, that she too had to thank God for having 
 brought us together, &c. Something like this was the 
 tenour of our conversation in that last hour.' 
 
 On returning to Hamburg she closes her journal 
 with these words : 
 
 * And so here I am again, among the long-proved 
 home associations. The duties of the old-accustomed 
 callings urge their claims upon me. I look back with 
 pleasure on the e time just passed, and with pleasure I 
 look forward into the future with pleasure, and with 
 the earnest resolution to show myself worthy the con- 
 fidence of this noble Princess, by devoting myself with 
 a more burning zeal to the service of Him whose love 
 has knit the band of love which binds my soul to hers.' 
 
 Miss Sieveking writes to her brother in December 
 about this visit :
 
 RECOLLECTIONS OF SOBGENFREI. 387 
 
 * The recollections of these last weeks are among my 
 brightest pictures of the past. I look back with espe- 
 cial pleasure to the happy hours spent in the Queen's 
 cabinet, and I know that she too will like to remember 
 them. I there received many hallowing influences, to 
 which I hope my future life will bear witness. You 
 must know that I have added to my knowledge of lan- 
 guages by the acquisition of Danish, and that I found 
 it of very great use to me. I foresaw that Her 
 Majesty would wish to have an opinion from me on 
 many of her institutions, and I had too often blamed as 
 folly and rashness the pretension of the English, who 
 fancy they can form right judgments of foreign institu- 
 tions without knowing the language of the country, not to 
 take pains to avoid falling into a like mistake. I could, 
 indeed, spend but little time upon the language, and I 
 have as yet never written a line in it. But fortunately 
 Danish is so nearly allied to German that it costs but 
 little trouble to learn it, and doubtless I was helped by 
 something of our family talent for acquiring languages. 
 In a sleepless night during my illness I first made the 
 discovery that I could read a Danish book in prose 
 tolerably well, with very little difficulty, and from that 
 time many hours in my bed were given to reading 
 Danish. An association on the model of ours has also 
 been founded in Copenhagen, but quite quietly, without 
 coming before the public.' 
 
 c c 2
 
 388 
 
 CHAPTER XXV. 
 
 1843-1847. 
 
 HER NEPHEW'S RESIDENCE IN HAMBURG PREPARATIONS 
 
 FOR A FIFTH COURSE OF CLASSES SECOND JOURNEY 
 
 TO COPENHAGEN REMARKS ON HER INTENDED BOOK 
 
 INQUIRY FROM BERLIN OPENING OF THE NEW CHILDREN'S 
 
 HOSPITAL SEPARATION FROM HER NEPHEW DEATH OF 
 
 THE SYNDIC ACTIVE LABOURS. 
 
 AT this time and during the next few years the 
 happiness of Amelia Sieveking's life was enriched 
 and augmented by the presence of her eldest nephew in 
 Hamburg. She felt herself drawn to this young rela- 
 tive, not only by her strong family affection, but also 
 by many points of sympathy between them, both in 
 individual and inherited character, in which they re- 
 sembled each other more than either was perhaps 
 fully aware. He began his medical career in the birth- 
 place of his parents, where he led a social life in the 
 midst of many friends and relations, but gladly accepted 
 his aunt's invitation to pass an evening alone with her 
 once a fortnight, when they drank tea together, and 
 read English or conversed in that language. Besides
 
 THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL. 389 
 
 these family interests and studies, another tie soon con- 
 nected them their common work in the Children's 
 Hospital. An attempt to procure deaconesses for this 
 new institution from Kaiserswerth came to nothing, 
 owing to the failure of the negotiations for the purpose 
 between Pastor Fliedner and Miss Sieveking. She 
 then betook herself to her old friend, Pastor Grossner at 
 Berlin, and he readily sent her a young deaconess from 
 the Elizabethstift, who, with another sister to help her, 
 took excellent care of the sick children. The institu- 
 tion flourished more and more, and her nephew, who 
 for his aunt's sake was much interested in it, voluntarily 
 undertook the surgical practice, thus affording her the 
 added pleasure of working hand in hand with her 
 young relative. 
 
 On the 26th of May 1844, she wrote to her brother 
 on the evening of the first day of the Whitsun festival, 
 which she had spent alone in town : 
 
 ' Such a day of rest and solitude contrasts not a 
 little with the bustle and variety of my usual life, and I 
 confess to you that at first, after my mother's death, I 
 was a little afraid of Sundays and holidays. One who 
 has been from her youth a member of a family circle 
 can hardly know what it is to spend a whole day in 
 almost entire solitude, and that in the city, which on 
 summer Sundays and holidays seems so dead. But 
 do not suppose that I think I have any cause to 
 complain. Oh, no: I soon learnt to subdue the
 
 390 LIFE OF AMELIA WTLHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 disagreeable feelings which at first often crept over me. 
 I might have avoided them by inviting myself to the 
 house of this or the other friend for I have many 
 with whom I might do so without fear of being thought 
 intrusive but it seemed to me to be unworthy to find 
 company on such days a necessity: and now I have 
 arrived at the point of really enjoying the day's loneli- 
 ness. But certainly it must continue to be the excep- 
 tion ; as the every-day rule, the throng of children and 
 poor people, friends and strangers, with whom I am 
 brought into contact in such various ways, suits me 
 much better.' 
 
 Many foreigners, some of them of high rank, who 
 were alive to the need of united Christian action in the 
 most varied departments of practical life, sought Miss 
 Sieveking's acquaintance in passing through Hamburg, 
 and asked counsel and help from her, thereby making 
 greater demands upon her time than she would have 
 yielded to the claims of mere society. Thus about this 
 date she made acquaintance with an unfortunate Eussian 
 lady, Princess Graliizin, who had endured some persecu- 
 tions on account of her conversion from the Greek to 
 the Lutheran communion: she remained a week in 
 Hamburg, and visited all its benevolent institutions. 
 Miss Sieveking had gradually become celebrated for her 
 labours in this department, and she considered it part 
 of her duty to show herself ready to be useful to all such 
 inquirers. She preferred giving information personally
 
 THE TWELFTH KEPORT. 391 
 
 to doing it by letters, which required more thought and 
 attention, and thus formed a greater interruption to her 
 busy life. The questions that were constantly sent to 
 her from Female Associations in many other places, she 
 often answered in her yearly Keport, but occasionally 
 gave a direct reply when the matter was of importance 
 or pressing necessity. But here she was obliged to 
 observe certain limits to avoid neglecting any of her 
 ordinary duties, and thus became more and more 
 averse to letter- writing in general; so that she often 
 laughingly accused herself of many sins^ of omission in 
 this particular. How much she understood the art of 
 stretching time has been already sufficiently described ; 
 and it must indeed appear incredible to many who 
 waste this precious treasure to see what a mass of work 
 she contrived to compress into the short space of 
 twelve hours. 
 
 In order to write her Twelfth Eeport she accepted 
 a friendly invitation from her relations at Ham, which 
 seemed even more convenient for this purpose than a 
 journey to Liibeck. At Easter 1846 she proposed to 
 begin a new course of classes ; and it may be looked on as 
 a proof of the increasing confidence which she enjoyed 
 in her native city, that even parents who made no 
 profession of religion, or at any rate in no way shared her 
 own religious views, expressed a strong wish that their 
 children should have the benefit of her instruction. 
 
 'When I point out this difference in our religious
 
 392 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMDCA SIEVEK.IXG. 
 
 opinions,' she writes to her brother, ' they admit it, 
 but at the same time declare that they consider it a 
 happiness to be able to believe on conviction as I do, 
 and such a happiness as they would gladly procure for 
 their children. I have been many times afraid that 
 people may think me more " rational " in their sense of 
 the word than I really am. But on this point I will 
 soon enlighten them. Next summer I hope to print 
 something which at any rate shall bear the true im- 
 press of my belief. Then people may see whether they 
 will take offence at it or not.' 
 
 In December 1 844 she writes to her brother : * I 
 have had friendly invitations from many places, but to 
 get me to move requires something more than a mere in- 
 vitation, however friendly. I must be certain that I 
 ha,ve a call to go here or there, and I cannot look on a 
 mere pleasure trip in this light. For recreation I do not 
 require, and above all I dare not be hindered in any- 
 thing which seems to me a necessary preparation for 
 the work that belongs to my immediate station in life : 
 this one thing lies clear before me, all the rest I can 
 contentedly leave to shape itself as the Lord may direct.' 
 
 She enjoyed her English studies with her nephew, 
 and remarks upon them : f I have a strong wish to 
 speak nothing but English with him at these times, and 
 so to be initiated in the niceties of the language, and I 
 must own that the charm of these evenings is much 
 heightened by the practice. It is always an enjoyment
 
 SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS. 393 
 
 to me to converse in a foreign tongue, because the effort 
 to master correctness of expression requires a certain 
 activity of mind which gives an interest to the most 
 trivial talk. But this, I may venture to say, is not in 
 general the character of my conversations with 
 Edward. I like best to discuss with him matters of 
 general social interest, scientific subjects, and especially 
 the interests of his own art.' 
 
 Miss Sieveking had so arranged her social engage- 
 ments that she frequently visited her friends on certain 
 fixed days, either at noon or in the evening. She 
 writes of this : ( I will not deny that I set a high 
 value on cheerful social intercourse, and I also think 
 that I do right to devote as much time to it as I do, in 
 order to procure the needful refreshment and relaxa- 
 tion from my work. I require no other; and then there 
 are many opportunities in social circles for sowing good 
 seed, were it only that one cures people of the fancy that 
 all "mystics" must look dismal and melancholy. But 
 I can still be just as thoroughly content, thank Grod, 
 with the solitude of my accustomed homely little room. 
 I was at home quite alone on Christmas Eve and 
 Christmas Day, but the time never seemed long. Indeed, 
 were it otherwise, it would be a sign that I had been 
 out too much. Things are not as they should be if, 
 after being out, one does not feel heartily glad to have 
 the latch of one's own door in one's hand again.' 
 
 In the summer of 1845 Miss Sieveking accepted
 
 394 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 another friendly invitation from the Queen of Denmark, 
 and spent a happy fortnight at Copenhagen. After 
 her return she again received a visit from a Prussian 
 princess who devoted her large means to objects of 
 Christian philanthropy, and had now come to Hamburg 
 to make herself acquainted with the arrangements of 
 the Women's Association in detail. * Is it not delight- 
 ful,' writes Miss Sieveking to her brother, 'that this 
 practical charitable work goes on extending itself in 
 ever-widening circles, and especially that so much that 
 has long lain fallow in women's gifts and powers should 
 find employment in a field so appropriate to them ?' 
 
 She now took lessons in French and taught it to her 
 cousin's children at Ham another addition to her 
 pleasures. ' I cannot help laughing at myself,' she 
 writes to her brother, 'when I find myself looking 
 forward to these lessons as eagerly as a young girl does 
 to a ball or a play. I have a regular passion for 
 teaching ; few people delight in it in the degree that I 
 do. Fancy, even when I was with the Queen I 
 ventured to give a sort of Bible lesson. But, tell me, 
 can anyone ask of (rod a greater blessing than such a 
 natural temperament as renders one's daily work the 
 highest enjoyment ? ' 
 
 She had fixed an interval of half a year between the 
 completion of her former course of classes and the begin- 
 ning of the new one; and she writes to her brother 
 on the 26th of May 1846: 'What I have said from
 
 NEW COURSE OF CLASSES. 395 
 
 time to time, that I should never feel thoroughly well till 
 I should return to my daily intercourse with the children, 
 has proved quite true : even strenuous exertion in this 
 employment does not easily affect me. The thing that 
 does vex me, is that I am not yet ready with the book 
 which I meant to have brought out in the course of 
 this summer. I have much at heart the finishing of 
 this little work, from which I really expect some good. 
 I believe that I have succeeded in introducing some- 
 thing which is generally lacking in most of the ordinary 
 religious books, as well as in those I myself have 
 published formerly a union of faith and practice, a 
 visible exhibition of the power of faith, partly in 
 narratives concerning the kingdom of (rod, partly in 
 isolated facts which are matters either of my own 
 experience, or observation in the world. However, 
 you know well to vex and worry myself about 
 what cannot be altered is not my habit. So long as I 
 cannot work at my manuscript without neglecting 
 more immediate duties I lay it quietly aside. But one 
 thing I would take this opportunity to ask of you. If 
 (rod should call me away from the scene of my earthly 
 labours before I have finished my book, do you take 
 care that it should be published, incomplete as it is, 
 for the benefit of our Association ; for many, I know, 
 would like to have it as a legacy from one whose good 
 endeavours they have requited in her lifetime with so 
 much true affection, confidence, and friendship. There
 
 396 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 are new claims on my exertions for the Association. 
 We are enlarging the Children's Hospital, and erecting 
 a building on purpose for it ; your son takes a lively 
 interest in the matter, which, indeed, he first set on 
 foot. You may easily believe how much this zeal 
 gratifies me ; although I must admit that he impelled 
 me to this new undertaking half against my will, for I 
 was a little afraid to burden our funds with such heavy 
 fresh expenses for an institution, which is, after all, 
 only a collateral branch of our Association. At one 
 time I thought to refuse to make myself personally 
 responsible for the expenses connected with it, in order 
 not to multiply my obligations ; but after mature con- 
 sideration it seemed an unavoidable duty to give my 
 assistance, lest the Christian principle on which the 
 whole should be founded and maintained might be 
 endangered.' 
 
 Her brother, who was afraid of over-exertion for his 
 sister, had sent her a small sum of money, with a 
 promise that it should be followed by a donation to her 
 Association, on condition that she should have first 
 spent this money in coach-hire, or any other comforts 
 for herself. He knew his sister well, and was aware 
 that these compulsory measures were necessary to insure 
 her obedience on such a point. She now writes : 
 
 'I no longer use my legs for going to Ham or 
 Altona, but always go quite grandly in the omnibus ; 
 and I must tell you in confidence that I find it very
 
 INVITATION TO BEELIN. 397 
 
 pleasant, and that I not only spare myself by the saving of 
 exertion, but actually gain strength by the dolce far 
 niente to which I resign myself during the journey. 
 The expression is, indeed, scarcely sufficient. I not 
 only do nothing, I do not even think of anything, and 
 am half asleep. But you will be clever enough to 
 perceive that, with the best intentions, all my omnibus 
 drives have not sufficed to dispose of the sum of money 
 which you put into my hands. Although I have used 
 it to pay my doctor's bill, and had an egg for breakfast 
 every day, there still are, alas ! about thirty-two marks* 
 in my purse; and how to get through it before the 
 1st of August I really do not see provided, that is, you 
 insist on your limitation remaining in force. Other- 
 wise, where I have plein pouvoir to dispose of money, 
 I know as well as anyone else how to put it in cir- 
 culation.' 
 
 In reference to another subject she says, in the same 
 letter : * As to myself, I feel so rooted, as I may say, 
 with all the fibres of my being, here in my own city, that 
 I cannot admit the thought of leaving it; otherwise I 
 might perhaps have gone to Berlin, to be at the head of 
 the new infirmary which is to be erected there, under the 
 name of Bethany, where all the nursing is to be in the 
 hands of deaconesses. A preliminary unofficial inquiry 
 came to me, and had I been willing I should probably 
 
 * About I/. 185.
 
 398 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 have been chosen, and my nomination confirmed in high 
 quarters. But I had quite decided to give a negative 
 answer ; there are a thousand ties which keep me here. 
 Yet if the call had come to me twenty years ago, and I 
 had then been free to follow it, I should have done so with 
 the greatest joy, although the giving up of my teaching 
 would always have been a great sacrifice. Now, however, 
 I consider myself appointed by the Lord of the vineyard 
 to another kind of labour, which I dare not leave of my 
 own will; and I rejoice that He has chosen a younger 
 woman for this other work, and one who seems to me 
 very fit for it above all, that more and more of my 
 sex are won to such employment. Truly, in rela- 
 tion to the want, the numbers are still far too small, 
 especially from the higher and more cultivated class. 
 Oh, if girls and their parents did but know what in- 
 finitely greater happiness is to be found in such a 
 calling than in the hollow shallow life of the world ! ' 
 
 Miss Sieveking kept a minute character-book for 
 each of her scholars, which she communicated quarterly 
 to the parents and the children. * On the 1st of April,' 
 she says in this letter, { the first grand publication of the 
 quarterly character-book for my present set of scholars 
 took place at my house. I thought it advisable, 
 this time, to invite the mothers ; not so much for the 
 children's sake as for the sake of the mothers them- 
 selves, that they might form a true judgment respecting 
 their little ones by a comparison between their doings
 
 THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL. 399 
 
 and those of others. I only hope maternal vanity will 
 not play me a trick, and perhaps even without mean- 
 ing it, awaken jealousies. Well, I will try the plan once 
 or twice more ; but should I perceive that the enemy 
 takes occasion by this arrangement to sow tares among 
 my wheat, I must make a change.' 
 
 In the meantime the building of a new Children's 
 Hospital, containing thirty beds, had been accom- 
 plished by voluntary contributions, and it was occupied 
 in the spring of 1847; but Dr. Sieveking, who had 
 worked so zealously for this undertaking, and had 
 attended to the surgical practice with so much interest 
 and punctuality, left Hamburg in the course of this 
 year, and returned to London, his native place, to the 
 great grief of his aunt, who could scarcely endure the 
 parting from a nephew who had become so peculiarly 
 dear to her. The year 1847 brought her another 
 severe loss, by the death of her revered and beloved 
 cousin the Syndic, which occurred in the summer. 
 * Surely,' she writes to her brother on the 26th Decem- 
 ber, ' the blessing of a good father rests upon the 
 children ; and how worthy of all love was he in all his 
 relations with them ! Everyone who was capable of per- 
 ceiving real intellectual power and had the opportunity 
 of observing him in his public and social relations, 
 must have recognised in him a noble man, possess- 
 ing unusual mental gifts, and a character raised far 
 above all that is common or ignoble. But the whole
 
 400 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 worth and loveliness of his character could only be 
 known to those who saw him in his every-day garb 
 among his children, in his own family, with his de- 
 pendents ; and though it has been said that no man is 
 a hero to his valet-de-chambre, I may venture to say 
 of him that never was a master more honoured and 
 heartily loved than he was by his faithful servants.' 
 
 In every trouble, difficulty, or uncertainty, Amelia 
 Sieveking had been used to have recourse to this 
 departed relative, and to find in him a faithful coun- 
 sellor, helper, and friend. Her connection with the 
 excellent widow and her children continued to be of the 
 most affectionate kind ; but this loss could as little be 
 repaired as that of her intercourse with her nephew, 
 and the great blank made itself felt even in her busy 
 life. 
 
 In a very confidential letter to her true friend the 
 Queen of Denmark, she writes of the Syndic, whom the 
 Queen had formerly known : * His piety was upright 
 and sincere ; it was deep, but not much on the surface. 
 Hypocrisy and spiritual pride were hateful to his inmost 
 soul, and what he called the preaching style of religious 
 people suited him but little. But his earnest endea- 
 vour was bent to let the light of Christian truth shine 
 through his whole walk in life, and whenever there was 
 a call to defend that truth with courage and manliness 
 one might always depend on him.' 
 
 The letter goes on to speak of the departure of her
 
 DEPARTURE OF HER NEPHEW. 401 
 
 nephew for London, whom she had so earnestly hoped 
 to see permanently settled in Hamburg, after his four 
 years' stay there, but who had decided on fixing his 
 residence in London. After dwelling with deep but 
 discriminating affection on the qualities which espe- 
 cially endeared him to her, she adds: * Besides this, 
 there was the attraction of relationship. There is a 
 special charm in the ties of blood which no other con- 
 nection can altogether supply. ... It had been to me 
 so sweet a thought that he, with his loving, hearty 
 sympathy, would one day be the physician and friend 
 who would stand by his aunt's lonely bed of sickness 
 and of death. Well, this staff of earthly hope is broken 
 by my Heavenly Father, doubtless in order that I may 
 learn, more truly than ever, to cast all my cares on 
 Him, and to seek in communion with Himself the 
 richest compensation for every earthly loss. Oh, that 
 His gracious purpose may be fulfilled in me ! My 
 nephew has left us a happy memorial of himself, in 
 the new building and organization of the Children's 
 Hospital, which, in its present altered form, is in a 
 certain sense to be regarded as his own creation. Any- 
 one who now sees the institution must be pleased with 
 the efficiency of the arrangements, and feel the happy 
 influence of the atmosphere of Christian love which 
 surrounds the deaconesses, and by which the sufferings 
 of the poor little patients are so greatly alleviated. 
 But though, on the one hand, I sincerely rejoice in this 
 
 D D
 
 402 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 work of my nephew's, I cannot deny that, owing to 
 his departure, it burdens me with a fresh anxiety. 
 The cost of the undertaking is naturally increased in 
 proportion to its extension; and, as President of the 
 Association for the Belief of the Sick and Poor, I can 
 only regard it as a branch of our institution which 
 must not figure in our budget for a disproportionately 
 large sum. So long as Edward remained here, the 
 access he had to the first families, and the enthusiasm 
 with which he urged on the matter, always enabled him 
 to find special funds for the special object ; this, as a 
 matter of course, will now cease.' 
 
 She writes to her brother on the 26th December, 
 excusing herself for her long silence : * Whenever there 
 seems to be an interval in my busy life, it is only like 
 throwing a stone into the water, the waters flow together 
 again from every side, and the hole is instantly filled 
 up. I certainly know one plan, by which I could win 
 many more hours for my work : that is, by giving up 
 society, which now occupies a not inconsiderable portion 
 of my time. But I scarcely think you would advise 
 my doing this. Many hours are now devoted to social 
 enjoyment, in which I am too much exhausted for serious 
 business, and these occasions afford many opportunities 
 of awakening interest in those higher subjects .which 
 lie nearest my heart. People often forgive the serious 
 religious bent of my disposition, only because they see
 
 SOCIAL ENJOYMENTS. 403 
 
 that it does not hinder my sharing in their enjoyments. 
 And it is not unimportant for my whole position, 
 that I should give no offence by a degree of seclusion, 
 which the world always imputes to an affectation of 
 strictness.'
 
 404 
 
 CHAPTER XXVI. 
 
 1847-1849. 
 
 DEFICIT IN THE FUNDS OF THE ASSOCIATION THE TEAR 
 
 1848 ADDRESS AT MAGDEBURG VISIT TO HER RELATIONS 
 
 IN ENGLAND SIXTEENTH REPORT AND 'LETTER TO THE 
 
 POOR ' HER RELATION TO POLITICS JOURNEY TO 
 
 BERLIN AUDIENCE OF THE QUEEN OF PRUSSIA REMARKS 
 
 ON PATRONAGE. 
 
 ABOUT this time Miss Sieveking changed her dwell- 
 ing ; she remained in the same street, but occupied 
 another house, and took a married couple without 
 children to live with her. The man followed his own 
 business, and the wife, in return for houseroom and a 
 small remuneration, undertook to wait on her, which 
 arrangement she adhered to in future as on the whole 
 the most suited to her requirements. 
 
 On another subject, she says, in writing to her brother: 
 ' You will be alarmed when I tell you, that in Decem- 
 ber we had a deficit in the Society's purse of nearly 2000 
 marks.* In fact I did feel myself more than usually 
 oppressed by this want of money, and thought anxiously 
 * 118J.
 
 DEFICIT IX THE FUNDS. 405 
 
 and long in vain how the thing could be remedied. 
 At last, not without misgiving, for I expected to meet 
 with general opposition, I proposed at the council meet- 
 ing in December that the ladies should make personal 
 application from house to house, and of course I did 
 not exclude myself from an employment so time-con- 
 suming and so far from agreeable, but undertook two 
 streets for my own share. To my great satisfaction, six 
 ladies volunteered to join me, and to collect in other 
 streets. And the six have continued steady to their 
 purpose, although the opposition I expected has arisen 
 in many quarters, even within the Association itself. 
 In consequence of it, however, the thing is for the 
 present postponed, though by no means given up. At 
 Christmas several considerable donations came in, which 
 greatly lessened our deficit. Of course we shall not 
 take such a step without necessity ; but if the necessity 
 is real, and I am sadly persuaded that without some 
 strong measures our finances cannot be set straight, 
 then the above course, whatever may be said against it, 
 does seem to me the most simple, dignified, and effectual 
 method. It is the simplest, because the gift passes 
 without any deduction to the poor, whereas in lotteries, 
 bazaars, &c., to get fifty thalers for them, you must 
 often spend a hundred ; the most dignified, because we 
 appeal directly to the benevolent feelings of our fellow 
 citizens, instead of attempting to make our profit of 
 their vanity, their ostentation, or their love of pleasure ;
 
 406 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIJfG. 
 
 and lastly, it is the most effectual, because I am con- 
 vinced that in this way many are induced to give who 
 would otherwise never have thought of it, and that 
 without any officious urging on our part, against which 
 I should of course give a serious warning, if I were not 
 certain that there is nothing of this sort to be appre- 
 hended from my ladies. 
 
 * The funds are still the defective point in the Chil- 
 dren's Hospital, which makes that otherwise delight- 
 ful institution very often a heavy weight on my mind. 
 However, as you well know, I am not one of those faint- 
 hearted people who lose all their courage and enjoyment 
 of life under the pressure of such cares : but have ac- 
 cepted and believed the cheering words of the Apostle : 
 " Cast all your care on Him, for He careth for you." ' 
 
 The troubled year 1848 brought its burden of cares 
 and conflict to Amelia Sieveking also, although, on the 
 whole, she was less directly and personally affected by 
 them, than by the losses of the preceding year. Still 
 she could not but be deeply distressed by the spirit of 
 hatred, envy, discontent, and rebellion against both 
 human and divine law, which the convulsions of the 
 times discovered and developed among the lower classes. 
 To one who felt so warmly for the people, whether 
 in weal or woe, and so readily believed in the existence 
 of a spark of divine life even in the most degraded, 
 these things were very sorrowful ; but she did not there- 
 fore lose heart or hope even for the earthly future, and
 
 THE SIXTEENTH REPORT- 407 
 
 above all never gave way to a gloomy or despairing 
 temper. 
 
 In May she had given an address at Magdeburg, 
 where an Association had requested her help and 
 counsel, and had taken occasion to appeal to the 
 loyalty of her hearers, and to impress upon them her 
 own conviction, that such works of love among the poor 
 were the best means of combating the discontented and 
 insurrectionary spirit of the lower classes. 
 
 In July she accepted the invitation of her brother 
 and sister in England, and during this visit she wrote 
 her Sixteenth Keport, in which she embodied an ex- 
 cellent ' Letter to her Friends among the Poor,' which 
 was also printed and distributed in a separate form* 
 In this she endeavoured, as far as she could, to combat 
 the evil influences of the times, which were poisoning 
 the moral atmosphere in the circles with which she 
 lived in immediate contact. Politics for their own 
 sake were not her concern. She took no lively interest 
 in matters of which she could not take a comprehensive 
 view, and so form a clear judgment ; it went against 
 her sincere and practical nature to play with things 
 which she only half understood. Too clear-sighted 
 to yield herself blindly to the guidance of any human 
 authority, she allowed no passing impressions, no im- 
 pulses from the passions and opinions of the time, to 
 exercise a fettering influence on her judgment; and 
 therefore she not only remained a stranger to the party
 
 403 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 strife which ran so high at this period, and by which 
 most people were carried away, but was even annoyed 
 by it, and when present at those eager discussions and 
 disputes on politics, which were then of daily occurrence, 
 she was generally silent, and would have preferred to 
 avoid them altogether. Some passages in her letters, 
 particularly those to the Queen of Denmark, express her 
 thoughts and opinions at this period. Thus she writes 
 in November : * I am well aware that there is much 
 talk about faith in humanity in a very un-Christian 
 sense of the words, that there are philosophers who 
 would place poor diseased human nature on the throne, 
 and then bow the knee before this idol. Of course this 
 is not what I mean. But I do believe that there is some- 
 thing Divine in man, even in those who have sunk the 
 lowest ; that the breath of God, whereby man became a 
 living soul, possesses, like every immediate emanation of 
 the Divinity, a portion of His own eternal essence, and 
 that the spark of divine life which it enkindles may be 
 indeed deeply buried under the waste of sin, but can 
 never be wholly extinguished. I cannot say how com- 
 forting this belief is, how it seems to throw a mild and 
 cheering light on many phenomena in the world, whose 
 mysterious darkness would else deprive us of all courage 
 and gladness. In the course of more than half a cen- 
 tury of life, spent in close contact with persons of the 
 most various classes, I have seen abundance of wrong- 
 doing; and as from my youth up the observation of
 
 LETTER TO THE QUEEN. 409 
 
 mankind has been my favourite study, I think I have 
 seen more deeply into many hearts than the mere super- 
 ficial observer. Thus I have been forced to become aware 
 of much evil, not only below the varnish of superior 
 culture in the upper ranks, but also beneath an out- 
 ward show of piety and honesty in the lower. But 
 along with the evil I saw also what explains and excuses 
 it, and how it punishes itself : and in this punishment 
 I seem ever to see the means of correction, in the hand 
 of the All-wise Instructor, who willeth that all men 
 should be saved, and come to the knowledge of the 
 truth. So, even in looking on the hardened sinner, I 
 willingly admit the hope that I may one day welcome 
 in him a brother in Christ. Nor have I ever met with 
 a human soul in which I could say that the Divine ele- 
 ment of life love was altogether dead. And, on the 
 other hand, who shall find one altogether pure ? Where 
 is the human soul in which the love of God is so fully 
 shed abroad that every stain of sin is consumed by its 
 holy fire ? Therefore, I must confess that the difference 
 between the bad and the good seems to me more in 
 degree than in kind, and because I venture to believe 
 that I myself have a share in the mercy of God in Christ, 
 I cannot despair of the salvation of any soul of man. 
 And again, with regard to the enmity of men to one 
 another, I think that in very many cases there is more 
 misconception than real ill-will at work. I believe 
 there is often right and wrong on both sides, and that
 
 410 LIFE OF AMELIA TVILHELMIXA SIEVEKING. 
 
 many things which, in the eagerness of party strife, 
 heated minds have reproached each other with as 
 wickedness and baseness, will in the light of eternity 
 appear as error and misunderstanding. Still that un- 
 godliness does rear its head boldly in many places, and 
 alas ! here in Hamburg also, cannot and must not be 
 denied. Yet this I think has always been so at any 
 great crisis in the history of mankind. The sultry 
 heat brings out a multitude of noxious vapours: but 
 the storm clears the air in the moral as well as in the 
 natural world.' . . . 
 
 t On the socialistic and communistic tendencies of 
 our time, I have thought it my duty to express my 
 opinion publicly, they touch so nearly the interests of 
 the poor, whose advocate I consider myself once for all 
 to have become. I have given my views on these sub- 
 jects in the " Letter " which forms part of the Sixteenth 
 Eeport. This was written in England, where, amongst 
 other things, I enjoyed a renewal of intimacy with 
 Bunsen, and made a new and interesting acquaintance 
 in Lord Ashley, one of the leading Christian philan- 
 thropists. . . . With the exception of this excursion to 
 England, my life has passed as usual, quietly, yet with 
 plenty of active employment. There are a great variety 
 of claims made upon me, and if I thank God for this 
 at all times, I seem to have a special mercy to acknow- 
 ledge in it just now. I consider it one of the great advan- 
 tages of my position, that I need not trouble myself much
 
 THOUGHTS ON POLITICS. 411 
 
 about politics. I read only what is absolutely neces- 
 sary, and in the midst of my children, and by the sick- 
 beds of the poor, I have not much to do with the 
 concerns of princes and nations. Then if from time to 
 time I cast a glance at the confused and restless strife; 
 it is with fresh and clear eyes ; for with children and 
 poor people one must needs look upwards a great deal, 
 and that keeps the eye in health.' 
 
 In a letter of a later date she says : ' Of political 
 matters I say nothing, as my opinion on their present 
 entanglements would be little better than a blind man's 
 judgment of colours. I turn away from them, more 
 perhaps than is right, since they so seriously affect 
 the interests of mankind. But there is so much in 
 the subject which is unpleasant to me, and then, in 
 order to gain any deep insight into the real nature 
 of such relations, how much time I must spend on a 
 study which in my position must always be barren 
 of results, while my time and strength often fall short 
 for the work to which I believe myself appointed. So 
 I am content on the one hand to contemplate political 
 events from the general Christian point of view, and on 
 the other hand, although I take an interest in general 
 politics, my chief sympathies are concerned with the 
 questions that affect the welfare of individuals.' 
 
 As we have said, Miss Sieveking was apt to be silent 
 when the conversation turned on politics, with its heat- 
 ing and exciting questions ; it was indeed generally
 
 412 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKING. 
 
 her habit to be silent when any topic was discussed 
 on which she herself did not feel quite clear, or 
 about which she could not expect any elucidation or 
 assistance from such interchange of thought as the 
 occasion offered. Owing to her usual custom of con- 
 versing and expressing her opinion in an open and 
 lively manner, her very silence betrayed a certain un- 
 easiness, a secret censure, which however she was not 
 trying to conceal, but which was probably too indefinite 
 a feeling in her own mind to find expression in words. 
 She never gave utterance to a hasty or thoughtless 
 judgment. Contradiction, especially of her favourite 
 ideas, occasionally roused her to impatience, a fault she 
 had had to struggle with in her youth; but she was 
 never sullen or capricious, and her silence had always a 
 reason, and sprang from her conscientious love of 
 truth. 
 
 In the year 1849, Miss Sieveking visited Berlin, and 
 spent some days in the house of the court chaplain, 
 Mr. Snethlage, who had married a Hamburg lady, a 
 former pupil of her own. Here she delivered a public 
 extempore address, which is printed in her Seventeenth 
 Keport. She writes on this subject to the now widowed 
 Queen Caroline Amelia : 
 
 'The subject treated in my address, the emanci- 
 pation of our sex, in a Christian sense of the term, 
 seems to me among the most urgent questions of the 
 day. I had long had it in my mind, but never yet
 
 ADDKESS AT BERLIN. 413 
 
 ventured to speak out distinctly, as I thought the time 
 not ripe for it. I feared the strength of the prejudice 
 that holds all work for the general good to be incom- 
 patible with a woman's peculiar calling in her own 
 home, never considering whether that calling suffices to 
 occupy all her powers, and to satisfy the wants of her 
 heart and mind, which I am deeply convinced, by mani- 
 fold observation, that in hundreds of cases it does not. 
 I feared too, if I should speak out upon this point, and 
 directly indicate what seems to me the great defect in 
 girls' education after their confirmation, that I might lose 
 the confidence of parents who have entrusted me with 
 the instruction of their children, and so close the door 
 against my own exertions in the very line that I prefer 
 to all others. The great majority of people are alarmed 
 at once when the old traditional routine is in any way 
 overstepped. Another consideration restrained me : I 
 could not satisfactorily answer to myself the question, 
 what kind of employment I would propose for young 
 women and girls. But now I have ventured to bring 
 forward my views on this subject, and it is the signs of 
 the times that have encouraged me to do so, for I think 
 I see in them the dawn of a new era for my own sex. 
 There are certainly many germs of evil and corruption 
 in the present state of things, but this should not pre- 
 vent our acknowledging the existence of many fair 
 seeds of good, which promise a harvest rich in blessing. 
 Among these I cannot but account the increasing desire
 
 414 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 among women for a worthier employment of their time, 
 than has hitherto been generally permitted to them, and 
 what especially pleases me is that the reasonableness of 
 this desire is more and more acknowledged by thinking 
 men. The form which their work should take I cannot 
 yet distinctly sketch out, but I trust that the impulse, 
 when once seriously awakened, and no longer checked 
 by the veto of conventionalism, will soon strike out the 
 right road fox itself. It seems to me all the more 
 important that this necessity should meet with full 
 recognition within the Christian Church, because the 
 antichristian spirit is seeking to make its own advan- 
 tage thereby. Here in Hamburg a college has been 
 opened for the female sex, founded by an association of 
 ladies, some of whom belong to the new Jewish Syna- 
 gogue, and some to the so-called "Free Church." Girls 
 are to enter this institution after their confirmation at 
 about sixteen years of age. Its principal aim is clearly 
 set forth in the prospectus :- namely, to fit the female 
 sex, by a more scientific training, for exercising a higher 
 influence upon civil society, and also to elevate them 
 above the prejudices of revealed religion to a purely 
 philosophic view of all the great questions of life, and 
 to a belief in- -humanity ! 
 
 * In Berlin, I had the honour of an hour and a half's 
 conversation with Her Majesty the Queen. As well in 
 her expressions towards myself, as in many things which 
 have been told me by those more immediately about
 
 INTERVIEW WITH THE QUEEN OF PRUSSIA. 415 
 
 her, I thought I could trace a certain likeness ; the most 
 decided Christian faith, that highest truthfulness of 
 character which is not content only to hate a lie, but 
 aspires to be clear and consistent with itself ; a great 
 love of simplicity, and a warm interest in all really 
 philanthropic efforts these were the traits I thought I 
 recognised in her, and which so vividly reminded me of 
 my dear Queen of Denmark. And, alas ! they resemble 
 each other also in this, that both are suffering under 
 the pressure of recent events!' 
 
 These intimacies in the highest ranks of society did 
 not for a moment deprive Amelia Sieveking of her clear 
 and rational views of her own position and its require- 
 ments. She had formerly written to the then Crown 
 Princess of Denmark, to tell her that she had thought of 
 saying a word in her forthcoming Report of the notice 
 which that distinguished lady had taken of the Associa- 
 tion, one of the meetings of which she had attended in 
 Hamburg, but that for two reasons she had not done 
 so : * First, I was afraid, not so much of being thought 
 vain on this account, as of some lurking feeling of vanity 
 really being hidden under it, for I know that I have 
 need to be especially on my guard against this tempta- 
 tion; and then, I also think that a work like ours 
 ought to recommend itself, and not require the adorn- 
 ment of any name, however honoured, to win friends to 
 it. Perhaps to many persons this would appear the 
 expression of republican pride. I am a republican,
 
 416 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 and am glad to-be so, because I have long learned to 
 estimate rightly the blessings which are developed in a 
 small state like Hamburg from a free constitution. But I 
 am no way averse to the monarchical principle, which 
 appears to me the most suitable for the government of 
 larger states, and certainly the remarks I am now 
 making do not spring from any such dislike. But I am, 
 if I may so express it, jealous for the purity of motive 
 in the exercise of Christian benevolence; and if, for 
 instance in England, as we are told, no subscription for 
 charitable purposes can well succeed, unless the names 
 of some persons of rank figure at the head of the list, 
 can anyone blame me, that I cherish a wish to vindicate 
 for my own Grerman fatherland, and especially for my 
 native city, a character of greater simplicity in the fulfil- 
 ment of Christian duties towards the poor and needy ? '
 
 417 
 
 CHAPTER XXVII. 
 
 1849-1851. 
 
 LETTER TO THE QUEEN OF PRUSSIA BETROTHAL OF BOTH 
 
 HER NEPHEWS THE ADDRESS DELIVERED AT BERLIN 
 
 ' BETHANY' METHOD OF TEACHING LANGUAGES CONTRO- 
 VERSY WITH THE PREACHER OF THE ' FREE CHURCH ' IN 
 
 HAMBURG LETTER TO THE QUEEN OF PRUSSIA THE 
 
 ' APPEAL ' IN THE SEVENTEENTH REPORT DEATH OF A 
 
 FRIEND FOURTH VISIT TO ENGLAND NINETEENTH 
 
 REPORT REMARKS ON ENGLISH LIFE. 
 
 MISS SIEVE KING sent her Seventeenth Report 
 to the Queen of Prussia. It contained the 
 address she had delivered at Berlin, and she writes 
 with it : 
 
 ' As this discourse treats of the interests of suffering 
 humanity, interests to which your Majesty devotes so 
 large a portion of your time and strength, I venture to 
 hope that, should you cast a glance over these pages, 
 they will not be read by you without sympathy. The 
 chief idea which is here unfolded includes, indeed, 
 more than the wants of the poor and the sick ; it em- 
 braces also the wants of the female sex, for which I 
 know of no sufficient remedy except regulated employ- 
 
 E
 
 418 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 merit in works of love. If I am not wrong in my 
 belief, that there are a great number of women, both 
 married and unmarried, who pine away only for want of 
 a sufficient employment, such women belong, in a certain 
 sense, however rich and respected they may be, to the 
 class of those who need assistance, and a princess will 
 not think it beneath her to turn her attention to their 
 wants. I might easily have made mention in this 
 address of the beloved Mother of her people, as I did 
 at Magdeburg, I may venture to say, with warm feel- 
 ings of enthusiasm. In the place of your residence, 
 and under the altered aspect of things, I omitted it, 
 although I knew full well that your Majesty's name 
 would excite the warmest sympathies of my hearers. 
 I omitted it designedly, because, in such cases, the 
 sincerest praise is easily supposed to proceed from 
 vanity, and to bear the stamp of flattery &c.' 
 
 To a lady in Berlin, who had spoken in high praise of 
 her ' Instructions to Christian Visitors,' * Miss Sieveking 
 writes in 1849 : 
 
 'You rate me indeed too highly, and see much in 
 me which is not there, or, at least, not in the degree 
 that you suppose. I often feel completely terrified 
 by the thought how poor and bare I shall appear in the 
 day when all false glories will be stripped off, before 
 the eyes of many who now laud my doings up to the 
 
 * Printed in the Seventeenth Report.
 
 LETTER TO A LADY AT BERLIN. 419 
 
 skies. In truth, we all carry our treasure in earthen 
 vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of (rod 
 and not of us. Thus much, at least, I may cheerfully 
 admit that the * Instructions ' contain my sincere 
 convictions of that which ought to be ; but alas ! there 
 is a mighty difference between holding such convictions 
 and really having one's life penetrated through and 
 through with the divine truths which they involve. 
 It is gratifying to me that you recognise the true 
 features of Christian charity in these notices, and 
 that you have so expressed yourself. In fact, much as 
 I desire the distinct expression of our convictions, I 
 equally abhor that kind of harsh and narrow exclusive- 
 ness which many consider to be essential to any strong 
 conviction. Even in your own Berlin, I met here and 
 there with something of the kind. My motto will 
 always be Faith, Freedom, and Love: courage to ac- 
 knowledge the truth when it appears to us as truth, 
 whether it please the world or the Christians around us 
 or not ; humility, which does not insist on impressing 
 the stamp of a man's own individuality and the opinions 
 natural to himself, upon everybody else, so robbing 
 them of their inalienable right to free mental develope- 
 ment ; and lastly, love, and faith in the Eternal Love, 
 that we may never despair of the salvation of a sinner, 
 however deeply fallen.' 
 
 In the same letter she further remarks : * Eeports of 
 benevolent institutions &c. form now so considerable a 
 
 E E 2
 
 420 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 part of literature, that I often fairly take fright at the 
 quantity which I ought by rights to read of this kind, 
 but do not read, to own the truth, because I find much 
 of it so tedious. Indeed, I read but little of any sort. 
 Hence it seems very unreasonable, even to myself some- 
 times, that I should expect people to read a yearly account 
 of our work, a good many pages long. I comfort myself, 
 however, with the reflection that, besides the writing 
 public, there is also a reading public (may we not so 
 divide the great mass of people ?) ; and then, that 
 everybody is at full liberty to read as much or as little 
 of my writings as he pleases, or to leave them alone 
 altogether. But if any general review of what we 
 have done has fallen into your hands, it is probably 
 the work of some other pen. Two volumes of extracts 
 from my Eeports have appeared in Switzerland one 
 in German, the other in French.' 
 
 In the year 1849 Miss Sieveking's nephews were 
 both betrothed to Englishwomen, and, in the fulness 
 of her heart, she writes to wish them joy. In another 
 letter to the elder, written in May, she tells him of her 
 address at Berlin : 
 
 ' I had to speak, a la Mrs. Fry, before a numerous 
 assemblage of ladies, who were invited by printed cards 
 sent round by Mr. Bethmann-Hollweg. Gentlemen 
 were only admitted by favour. Among these were 
 Snethlage, Bethmann-Hollweg, Count Schlippenbach, 
 Herr von Bulow, Professor Stahl, and a few Lutheran
 
 ADDRESS AT BERLIN. 421 
 
 clergymen. My address, which lasted rather more 
 than an hour, was entirely extempore, as, like you, I 
 much prefer this method. Towards the end, I invited 
 any present who might wish it, to put questions to me, 
 which some of them did. By Grod's grace I trust that 
 some good will result from this evening's work. I was 
 afterwards requested to hold two or three meetings of a 
 more private character, and in consequence three new 
 associations for the benefit of the poor have been formed. 
 Among many valuable additions to my circle of ac- 
 quaintance, which I owe to this journey, I prize most 
 highly that of Mr. von Bethmann-Hollweg, and I shall 
 rejoice very much to see him again in Hamburg.' 
 
 She then speaks of the infirmary at Berlin called 
 Bethany, which the King had endowed, and remarks : 
 
 * The. patronage of a King must, of course, oifer many 
 advantages to such institutions ; but yet, I think, that 
 undertakings of this kind generally thrive better when 
 private persons take them in hand, and when they 
 only grow and extend themselves in proportion to the 
 actually existing demand. There is much to be said 
 on this point, and perhaps we may one day discuss it 
 in detail.' 
 
 She adds in the same letter: 'Your praise of my 
 English style in my letters flatters my vanity more, 
 perhaps, than is reasonable. You ask whether I still 
 pursue the study. That is a matter of course, and also 
 that I should do it in a way that suits with my innate
 
 422 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 passion for teaching ; that is, that I myself teach it to 
 some young ladies who can get no better instruction. 
 My plan is one of my own devising, and perhaps not 
 quite the usual method. It consists in so minute an 
 analysis that sometimes a single phrase of an English 
 writer will occupy us during the whole lesson. First, 
 we fix the exact meaning of every expression ; I require 
 the analysis of the commoner words, such as weather 
 for instance, the explanation of which is often more diffi- 
 cult than that of more precisely scientific expressions. 
 Then we search for synonymes, or for words of the 
 exactly opposite signification ; we examine the word in 
 all its various senses, both literal and figurative, search 
 out its derivation, or its combinations with others, &c. 
 You will easily understand that this method requires 
 very careful preparation on my part, and that I should 
 be quite at a loss without Webster's excellent dictionary. 
 But the method itself I hold to be good, and very well 
 adapted for acquiring the real mastery of any language, 
 whether it be one's own or a foreign tongue. I have long 
 used it in my German lessons on language ; and if my 
 own style has the credit of a certain degree of clearness, 
 I attribute it mainly to my habitual practice of weigh- 
 ing every word ; and, in fact, I cannot understand 
 that, once having acquired such a command over words, 
 any person should ever find a real difficulty in com- 
 municating his own thoughts to others.' 
 
 In a most affectionate letter to her second nephew,
 
 MARRIAGE OF HER NEPHEW. 423 
 
 who was thinking of bringing his bride to introduce 
 her to her Hamburg relations, she says : 
 
 * There is no one to whom the acquaintance of your 
 bride will be more welcome than to me. The smaller 
 the number of blood-relations whom God has left me, 
 the more closely do I feel myself linked to those few. 
 Since the first deep anguish of my life, the death of 
 him whose name you bear, how many, alas ! have fol- 
 lowed him ! Yet I do not feel myself lonely, and I 
 hope never to feel so. My employment connects me 
 by strong ties with a younger generation, and, though 
 many of these ties are loosened by death, by distance, 
 and other circumstances, I yet think that the remain- 
 ing ones will suffice to deprive my old age of the sting 
 which in my youth I used to look forward to with most 
 dread, as belonging to an old maid's lot I mean the 
 melancholy feeling of having no one to love and to care 
 for one. I used to be terrified by the almost universal 
 assumption that such must be the lot of unmarried 
 women ; and I may truly say that, ever since that time, I 
 have more or less distinctly felt it to be my vocation to 
 give the world a proof to the contrary, to show that the 
 single state may be for my own sex a hallowed con- 
 dition and full of blessing, and therefore also may be 
 
 rendered a very happy one You are certainly 
 
 right to take your young wife to Norway ; that country 
 seems to me the only spot in Europe which is not dis- 
 quieted by internal dissensions. What times we live
 
 42* LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKIXG. 
 
 in ! They read us, I think, a solemn lesson on the 
 perishable nature of earthly things, and on the melan- 
 choly state into which men fall as soon as they break 
 loose from God and His holy laws. Yet I do not see 
 things in so gloomy a light as many do. It was always 
 my philosophy to hope the best, and the great pre- 
 servative of this philosophy is my trust in God. The 
 condition of mankind in the part of the world which 
 we inhabit seems to me a state of fermentation. The 
 whole mass is in unquiet movement; but let us only 
 have a little patience, the dregs will sink again, and 
 the wine that will remain will be nobler and sweeter 
 than before. This is naturally the hope of all who 
 confide in the eternal wisdom of the Divine Ruler. For 
 my own part, I do not imagine that these better times 
 are so far off that I may not hope to live to see them. 
 Perhaps I should speak differently if I were better 
 acquainted with the great political questions of the 
 day ; but, in fact, I do not trouble myself much about 
 them, and in my happy position in life I find no call to 
 do so. Whom could it profit for me to torment myself 
 with things which lie beyond my reach, and which I can 
 so confidently leave to the care of the Highest ? I con- 
 sider cheerfulness an essential element to my influence in 
 my own sphere, especially as regards the children ; and 
 on this account, as far as in me lies, I would certainly 
 do nothing which could sadden my whole tone of mind, 
 and make this sadness perceptible in my manner.
 
 CONTROVERSY AT HAMBURG. 425 
 
 * My twelve days' excursion gave me great pleasure, 
 and especially in Berlin and Leipsic I rejoiced to perceive 
 the noble and high-minded reaction which the activity 
 of the powers of darkness has called forth. Much good 
 is doing in the province of Christian philanthropy, and I 
 believe stedfastly in the growth of every grain of mustard 
 seed in the kingdom of God.' 
 
 However modestly and unpretendingly Amelia Sieve- 
 king might follow her own path, however candid and 
 cautious she might be in her public conduct towards 
 persons of different opinions, she could not altogether 
 escape that conflict which every open profession of 
 faith must encounter, in so far as it is opposed to an- 
 other belief. In the course of the year 1849 she was 
 drawn into a public controversy with Mr. Weigelt, the 
 preacher of the Free Church in Hamburg. She would 
 certainly have avoided this if she could, but she was 
 obliged to undertake and to carry it through. Mr. 
 Weigelt had felt himself aggrieved by a passage in her 
 Sixteenth Eeport, which he applied to himself and his 
 flock, and he wrote to her in respectful terms, yet with 
 the request that she would recal her words, as otherwise he 
 would feel obliged to publish his letter. She thanked him 
 in her answer for the openness of his conduct, endea- 
 voured to prove to him that to a certain degree he had 
 misunderstood her, but explained that to recal what she 
 had written with deliberate thought and care was im- 
 possible. His letter was printed ; then followed her clear,
 
 426 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEVEKING. 
 
 calm, and brief reply, with which the matter was laid 
 before the public. 
 
 As already observed, persons of celebrity who visited 
 Hamburg frequently sought Miss Sieveking's acquain- 
 tance. She thus relates to Miss Hosch a visit from 
 Frederika Bremer, the novelist : 
 
 ' I was obliged to meet her with the confession that, 
 much as I had heard of her works, I had as yet read 
 none of them, to which she answered very composedly, 
 that she could easily believe that I had no time to read 
 novels. She made altogether a most favourable impres- 
 sion upon me : there is something remarkably simple 
 and unpretending in her whole manner, and in many 
 essential points her views seem very much the same as 
 my own. The occasion of her first anonymous publica- 
 tion was the wish to procure a small sum to buy the 
 necessary medicines for some poor sick people on her 
 father's estate, for which her little pocket-money was 
 not sufficient. Her own father, who died not long after, 
 never knew of her authorship. She found more and 
 more pleasure in the act of composition ; but in all her 
 tales the thought was always present to her mind of 
 showing by example how those powers in our sex, 
 which now lie idle, might be used to their own profit 
 and that of others, and especially in the case of un- 
 married middle-aged women. She seemed to take a 
 lively interest in my Association. I was obliged to give 
 her all my Eeports, and if I mistake not, she is thinking
 
 INTERCOURSE WITH FOREIGNERS. 427 
 
 of establishing something of the same kind in Stock- 
 holm.' 
 
 Miss Sieveking writes to the widow of her cousin 
 the Syndic in September 1850: 
 
 *I have to send you a hearty greeting from the 
 Duchess of Wurtemberg, who lately brought to visit me 
 a Princess of Hohenzollern, and a younger lady, the 
 Princess Hohenlohe-Schillingsfurst ; the latter after- 
 wards spent a whole evening with me, and interested 
 me very much. Among other foreigners whom I have 
 seen, I may mention a M. Cerf bere, who is travelling in 
 the employ and at the expense of the French Govern- 
 ment, in order to make himself acquainted with the 
 organization of the benevolent institutions of Germany. 
 He spent two evenings with me. We had much 
 pleasant conversation, and I found him a very sensible 
 man, with one serious exception namely, that he had 
 undertaken a journey for such a purpose without 
 knowing one word of German.' 
 
 Miss Sieveking had been often pressed to write a 
 history of her life, of which some fragmentary notices 
 had already appeared in her books and addresses, and 
 in a number of the German Ladies' Illustrated Almanack 
 for 1848. This was originally written by herself for 
 a French periodical work. She replied to a fresh in- 
 vitation of the same kind as follows : 
 
 ' I will not deny that there is a certain attractiveness 
 in the idea of writing an autobiography. It would not be
 
 423 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 uninteresting to myself to call up the whole imagery of 
 my past life before my mind, to renew its faded colours, 
 and above all to recognise the Master Hand which 
 planned the whole. And since my life has shaped 
 itself not quite in the ordinary way, and I have been 
 brought into contact with many distinguished persons, 
 I might hope that a well-written account of it would 
 afford some entertainment to others, and would not be 
 without its value in giving weight and currency to the 
 ideas which lie at the heart of my work. However, 
 there are many objections to my acceding to the re- 
 quest; above all, that which decides me against it is 
 the want of time. My Yearly Eeport is always, in a 
 certain sense, a trouble to me ; it is so hard to find the 
 necessary leisure for writing it. I usually go away for a 
 fortnight to seek at a distance the quiet which is pre- 
 vented in Hamburg by unavoidable interruptions.' 
 .... She then refers to the fragments already pub- 
 lished, and concludes : ' I could no doubt communicate 
 much more on the same subject, and it is possible that 
 I may do so at some future day, if the Lord should 
 give me rest in the evening of life from my work ; but 
 for the present, as I said before, it cannot be.' 
 
 She writes to the same lady who had made this 
 request, and who was personally unknown to her : 
 
 1 It would indeed give me great pleasure if we could 
 meet for once in this life. Our lives are in essentials 
 governed by the same principles, and we have similar
 
 THE EIGHTEENTH KEPORT. 429 
 
 reasons to praise God [for His mercy in directing us. 
 But there is evidently a greater completeness in your 
 work than in mine. Your institution affords an ad- 
 mirable centre 'in which all your strength may be even 
 locally concentrated, which is in many respects a great 
 gain. The circumstances of a great city require that 
 my work shall be differently modified ; in particular, the 
 strength and energy of the other ladies, who have placed 
 themselves at my disposal, have so many other claims 
 upon them from their social and domestic relations, that 
 often it is but the crumbs that are left for my poor. 
 However, it is only required of stewards that they be 
 found faithful. Oh that everyone of us might but be in 
 earnest to work for the kingdom of (rod, with whatever is 
 entrusted to us, be it much or little, so that we might one 
 day hear from the Judge of the world that word of mercy 
 " Well done, good and faithful handmaid ; thou hast 
 been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler 
 over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy 
 Lord!"' 
 
 On sending her Eighteenth Eeport to the widowed 
 Queen Caroline Amelia, she returns again to the subject 
 of the ' Appeal to Christian Women,' published in the 
 Seventeenth, which had now been printed separately for 
 distribution; and, after mentioning the antichristian 
 Female Association, which about this time was founded 
 at Hamburg in opposition to her own, she says : 
 
 'Where such efforts are astir, a bold and energetic
 
 430 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 testimony to the glory of God appears to me to be by no 
 means out of place. Far less do I care for any praise what- 
 ever in this case than to see one practical result from my 
 address namely, that many women's powers, hitherto 
 devoted to vanity and frivolity, or at best to the hireling 
 tasks of the needle, should be set free from these, and 
 won for higher purposes. And the sphere which my 
 appeal pointed out to~ my sisters I consider decidedly 
 the fittest for them, because it is best suited to develope 
 harmoniously the powers of a noble feminine nature. 
 But, indeed, real womanhood is in my eyes something very 
 different from that which many describe as such, which 
 seems to me scarcely more than a compound of weakness 
 and vanity. I believe in the powers of woman as I do in 
 those of man, although they are differently modified. 
 All that is required is, first, that woman should know 
 her own faculties, and then that they should be guided 
 aright, so that in their proper field they may take the 
 form of real practical activity. Besides the tendency 
 to frivolity already alluded to, which is by far the most 
 prevalent error, there are two others that I specially 
 fear for my own sex that of an idle religion of sen- 
 timent which is often connected with a strong inclination 
 to unfruitful speculations, and leads to enthusiasm or 
 narrow-hearted exclusiveness : on the other hand, that 
 of a restless desire to be doing, which under mis- 
 taken guidance intrudes itself into some province for 
 which it has neither vocation nor ability, such as I
 
 EMPLOYMENT FOR WOMEN. 431 
 
 particularly consider politics to be. In saying this I 
 have especially in view the case of women of the 
 middle class ; but I believe that even for ladies of the 
 highest rank the greatest possible caution is advisable 
 in any interference with politics. 
 
 ' May I venture to name one thing more, which seems 
 to me a great hindrance to real well-grounded progress in 
 our sex. It is the immoderate love of talking which pre- 
 vails, I may say, among the majority of women. You 
 will perhaps think I am too severe upon my own sex, 
 and it is possible that I deserve such a reproach ; but at 
 least I am convinced that this severity of judgment 
 does not lessen my love for them. I know the evils of 
 my own heart. I look on the whole earth as a Sana- 
 torium for mortals sick of the disease of sin, and if 
 my calling summons me to try to remedy some evil here 
 and there, it is most necessary that I should search out 
 the causes which explain its origin ; finally, I derive 
 from my faith the joyful hope that the great Physician 
 of souls will at length find help, even for those desperate 
 cases where human skill and human wisdom can do no 
 more.' 
 
 In the summer of 1851 she writes to the Queen, who 
 had lost a faithful friend by death : 
 
 'Well, she is gone from all the emptiness of earth 
 into the land of peace, where doubtless many of the 
 mighty movements of our times will seem to her only as 
 the wild confusions of a dream. She is gone before ; we
 
 432 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 follow who knows how soon ! Oh that among all the 
 dreams and shadows of this present life we might strike 
 deep root into that which alone is real and enduring 
 the life of God in love ! ' 
 
 Somewhat further she says in the same letter 
 
 * The want of leisure for my correspondence is some- 
 times a real trouble to me. Sometimes, however, it is 
 a not unwelcome excuse with which to cloke my idle- 
 ness about writing. I am the worst correspondent in 
 the world.' 
 
 In September of this year Miss Sieveking paid her 
 fourth visit to her brother and sister in London, and there 
 wrote her Nineteenth Report. About this Report she 
 writes to the Queen in April 1852 : 
 
 * Its principal subject is the defects which I think I 
 have observed in associated work in general, and in 
 particular in associations of Christian women. The 
 disclosure of such defects is always a somewhat ticklish 
 business, but, with your Majesty's love for plain truth, 
 you will certainly not blame my having attempted 
 it. Alas ! it is only too natural that self-love, when it 
 cannot bring forward its own personal pretensions, 
 should conceal itself under the semblance of zeal for 
 the party, the society, or the brotherhood to which it 
 belongs. One flatters another, and they lull each other 
 into a dream of the general excellence of the body, until 
 they think it quite a wonder that they are so humble ; 
 while on the other hand there can be nothing good in
 
 ON ENGLISH LIFE. 433 
 
 the party that is opposed to us, or in the Society which 
 is conducted in a different spirit from our own. Alas ! 
 how much mischief has arisen in all ages from such 
 harsh, one-sided party spirit, and does arise even at 
 this very time ! . . . For the clergy to mix themselves 
 up with the party strife of politics seems to me a total 
 misapprehension of their glorious vocation to bring 
 peace on earth ; and I think that in the late conflicts of 
 opinion, many things would have taken better shape, if 
 the servants of the Lord had better understood their 
 own peculiar mission in times like these.' 
 
 Returning once more to the subject of her English 
 visit, she says : 
 
 ' There is certainly much that is interesting to be 
 found in a closer acquaintance with the emporium of the 
 world, the land of industry, and of freedom under the 
 rule of law, as the English love to describe their country ; 
 and I felt this more than ever before, on visiting the 
 proud island kingdom for the fourth time last autumn. 
 But I could not settle permanently there, at least not in 
 the mighty capital, where one sometimes feels so lonely 
 and forlorn amid the vast throng of people. At my 
 age, indeed, almost anyone who knows the happiness of 
 home, becomes so firmly rooted there, that he could not 
 think of changing his place of abode, until the sum- 
 mons come to him to seek his home above. But this 
 decided feeling, that I could not live in England, dates 
 from my younger days, as early as 1817, when I first 
 
 FF
 
 434 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 paid a visit to my brother there : and yet I am so truly 
 alive to the many excellences which are to be found 
 among the English, that my pupils often accuse me of 
 too great a partiality for them. But there are two 
 things which to me individually would make it difficult 
 to live comfortably amongst them. It seems to me, 
 that though they value themselves so much upon their 
 civil liberty, they make themselves, in what I think a 
 most inconvenient manner, the slaves of custom and 
 fashion. The question whether a thing is "genteel," 
 or not genteel, is, to my thinking, far too prominent in 
 all their social relations; especially as this gentility 
 often depends on entirely arbitrary rules, at least I 
 cannot detect in it any connection with that higher 
 idea of fitness, whose laws I fancy are much the same 
 for cultivated persons of all nations. Then, too, the 
 number of their " comforts" appears to me very uncom- 
 fortable, and in many cases quite a burden. It has 
 always seemed to me to be a folly to make one's self 
 dependent on so many trifling outward things, and I 
 very early tried to carry out in practice the maxim, that 
 the fewer wants a man has, the greater his freedom. The 
 other point which decidedly would not suit me in Eng- 
 land, is the rigidity of the religious life in that church. I 
 most certainly could not get on with the majority of pious 
 people in England, even with those who are thoroughly 
 sincere and earnest. At a certain distance, I can fully 
 acknowledge and enjoy the real beauty of their lives. But
 
 ON ENGLISH LIFE. 435 
 
 if we lived close together, we should mutually offend each 
 other. Many of my religious views, although I think I 
 have scriptural grounds for them, they would describe as 
 arrant heresy ; they would think me half lost if they 
 saw how I spend my Sundays, and yet it would be 
 almost impossible to me to bind down my free spirit 
 in the fetters of what seems to me their unspiritual 
 mode of keeping the sabbath, without loss to what it is 
 meant to further, the inward religious life.' 
 
 F F 2
 
 436 
 
 CHAPTER XXVIH. 
 
 1852-1854. 
 
 JOURNEY TO COPENHAGEN LETTER TO THE QTTEEN 
 
 PREPARATION FOR A SIXTH COURSE OF CLASSES REMARKS 
 
 ON THE EDUCATION OF CHILDREN OF THE LOWER CLASS 
 
 FOURTH VISIT TO COPENHAGEN. 
 
 IN September 1852, Miss Sieveking again spent a 
 few weeks with her royal friend at Sorgenfrei. In 
 December of the same year she writes, on occasion of 
 sending her Twentieth Report: 'Does your Majesty 
 know which of the expressions in your letter gave me 
 the most pleasure ? It is the passage where you say, 
 that my visit has had a kind of electrical effect upon 
 you, by which you feel stirred to greater active useful- 
 ness. May it please (rod, by the grace of His Holy 
 Spirit, to give real and enduring effect to such an im- 
 pression ! I do not overlook the many hindrances in 
 your Majesty's position : for most assuredly the notion 
 that any human being must necessarily enjoy greater 
 personal freedom of action in proportion to the elevation 
 of his rank, is a great mistake. Yet, after all, every- 
 one has a certain amount of hindrances to overcome, 
 and the greatest of all to each one of us is his indolence
 
 LETTER TO THE QUEEN. 437 
 
 or some other corruption of his own nature. Now it is 
 especially in the act of combating outward hindrances 
 that indolence is conquered ; and the more faithfully we 
 set ourselves this task, the more successful will our 
 Lord enable us to be in making a way for ourselves, 
 and the promise to Cyrus will be fulfilled even to us : 
 ' I will go before thee, and make the crooked places 
 straight : I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and 
 cut in sunder the bars of iron .... and I will open 
 before ' thee ' the two-leaved gates ; and the gates shall 
 not be shut ' (Isa. xlv. 2). And can anything more 
 blessed be imagined for us, than that the Lord's 
 gracious purpose should be attained in us, and we 
 become really instruments of blessing in His hand? 
 And if the fruit of our work is often hidden from us, what 
 does it matter ? We can rest in the conviction that if 
 we really allow ourselves to be made use of according 
 to the will of Grod, the seed we sow will surely some 
 day bring a harvest of blessing here or in the world to 
 come. As Tersteegen says 
 
 Do thou thy work, the best that thou canst do, 
 As to the Lord, with willing heart and true ; 
 If thou please Him, whate'er may be thy lot, 
 Success or failure, let it vex thee not. 
 
 The mistake that many persons make with regard to 
 their work is, I think, that they seek their stimulus 
 not so much in the inward voice of duty, as in the 
 interest which the external circumstances of the case
 
 438 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 may have to offer. Thus, for example, many ladies 
 who belong to visiting societies are for ever looking out 
 for new and interesting cases, and of course, are very 
 often disappointed. I think, on the contrary, that if 
 we look on the most apparently thankless case as a 
 difficulty which Grod has bidden us to exercise all our 
 powers and faculties to surmount, we shall always find 
 a certain degree of interest in it, as the scholar does in 
 a hard problem, and that all the more in proportion as 
 we heartily endeavour to accomplish our task. With 
 this object, we shall never rest content with a superficial 
 knowledge of the case in hand, we shall investigate 
 it thoroughly, and shall then find that every case has its 
 own physiognomy. To a superficial observer, a hundred 
 cases appear to have all the same features, and he 
 wearies of the everlasting monotony, while the attentive 
 enquirer perceives distinguishing traits everywhere, which 
 provide an interesting subject for study ; just as to the ig- 
 norant all grass is simply grass, while the devout student 
 of nature sees in the infinite variety of different grasses, 
 a call to adoring admiration of the Creator. In this 
 way, I believe faithfulness to the voice of duty within 
 will impart a growing interest to the work we have in 
 hand, an interest which will be heightened by the 
 manifold combinations of circumstances, which will 
 occur spontaneously in any work which has some 
 variety of scope : one opportunity of doing aught for our 
 brethren always leads to another.'
 
 LETTER TO THE QUEEN. 459 
 
 In December 1853 she writes to the Queen, on occa- 
 sion of a death which had touched her nearly : * It is 
 indeed a deeply sorrowful feeling, when those who were 
 young with us are one after another called away before 
 us, and thus our path in life becomes in a certain sense 
 ever more and more lonely. And yet this sorrowful ex- 
 perience is a powerful incitement, to look up from the 
 land wherein we are strangers to our everlasting home 
 above, and to cling more closely to that Mighty One, 
 who can be to us more than father or mother, brother, 
 sister, or friend, and in whose presence we shall one day 
 meet all our beloved ones again. And that festival of 
 reunion which will be solemnised above, how different, 
 how far happier will it be, than the happiest meeting 
 upon earth ; which is always followed by a fresh parting, 
 and in which we are so often pained by this or that, 
 which secretly separates us in heart from those who are 
 near us in the body ! There, where misunderstanding 
 is impossible, where every dissonance melts into clear 
 and perfect harmony, because all sin is done away and 
 every heart re-echoes the pure full notes of the Divine 
 love, there it is that we shall, for the first time, fully 
 apprehend the blessedness that our relations with each 
 other ought to afford. Meantime we have, even here on 
 earth, many hours whose happiness has been drawn 
 from the society of others, for which to thank our (rod ; 
 indeed, when we look back on our past lives, are not the 
 brightest spots in the retrospect, for the most part, those
 
 440 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 times when we have enjoyed communion with noble 
 souls ? And even now how much blessing flows to us 
 constantly through our social relations ; and how much 
 more might we not derive from them if we were more 
 careful to consecrate them all to Grod, if we looked on 
 each one of them as a lesson set us by our heavenly 
 Master, from which we might learn something for the 
 kingdom of heaven.' 
 
 Somewhat later she says in the same letter:' 'I 
 cannot allow myself any journey this summer, because 
 it is the last year of my present course of classes. 
 Next Easter the greater part of this set of children are 
 to be confirmed, and this will bring my fifth course 
 of instruction to an end. Yet I feel courage and 
 strength to begin a sixth course, at Michaelmas 1854, 
 under the proviso naturally of St. James (iv. 15) 
 '' If the Lord will, and we live." The thought of a 
 fresh circle of little scholars of from six to eight 
 years old, already gives me delightful pleasure in 
 anticipation. But ought I not to praise the mercy of my 
 God, who has granted me a vocation in life, which 
 in my sixtieth year has still the same interest for me, 
 which it had when I first selected it in my eighteenth? 
 When my present pupils are gone, I shall enter on a 
 few months of comparative leisure, which I intend to 
 employ partly in the publication of my " Conversations 
 on the Holy Scriptures," partly with preparations for 
 my future scholars : for precisely because we have been
 
 ORPHANAGE AT COPENHAGEN. 441 
 
 for many years employed in any work, we should be 
 especially on our guard against slipping into a mecha- 
 nical routine, and falling behind the continual progress 
 of the age.' 
 
 It was then in contemplation to found a little orphan- 
 house in Copenhagen, under the patronage of the Queen, 
 for twelve children whose parents had died of the 
 cholera ; and Miss Sieveking expresses her opinion re- 
 specting the principles on which such an institution for 
 the lower class should be founded, as follows : 
 
 * The most essential part of their education seems to me 
 to be, that a sound Christian knowledge, immediately 
 drawn from the Word of God itself, should be the basis 
 of all the instruction given to the children : but that this 
 Christian doctrine should really pervade the life of the 
 whole institution, and not be a mere outward show, by 
 which children may easily be trained to hypocrisy. We 
 must also carefully avoid satiating young minds with 
 spiritual things ; it occasions secret disgust. Further, 
 in the whole plan of education, the future destination 
 of the children must not be forgotten, and they should 
 not be educated above their station. How much of 
 their life's happiness may be destroyed beforehand, if 
 children are early taught to look too high, and to make 
 demands, which the future before them cannot satisfy ! 
 In this respect I think that some caution is required 
 in bringing the children of poor parents into very fre- 
 quent contact with persons of the higher classes, unless
 
 442 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELillNA SIEYEKIXG. 
 
 the latter possess the sound judgement and tact requisite 
 for the judicious management of such intercourse. It 
 should be understood, that we must treat the children 
 of the lower class differently from those of the higher, 
 not only in respect of the more limited range of their 
 instruction, but in the whole tone of our intercourse. 
 Much which seems allowable in dealing with children 
 of the higher classes appears to me clearly unsuitable 
 when we have to do with the children of the poor. Doubt- 
 less the element of love should as little be absent 
 here, as in the education of the richest and the noblest. 
 But the mode and manner of its expression must for 
 their own sake be different. It is easy to spoil them 
 with too much tenderness, and make them too sensitive 
 to the roughnesses they must meet with in after life, 
 particularly in their relations with other persons, and 
 from which we cannot shield them. In our intercourse 
 with grown people among the poor, there is not the 
 same danger, and here I should wish to multiply the 
 points of contact. The danger is not so great, because, 
 on the one hand, the people know already from expe- 
 rience what they have to expect in life, and especially 
 in their relations with the rest of the world ; and we, on 
 the other, are not so apt to forget the difference between 
 them and ourselves. On the contrary, it often appears 
 to the upper class of persons, to be greater than it really 
 is, and they are only too much inclined to consider the 
 poor as altogether different from themselves. But this
 
 ON INTERCOURSE WITH THE POOR. 443 
 
 is manifestly prejudicial to the sympathy which one 
 human being ought to feel for another, and I think it a 
 good thing, therefore, that the various classes should be 
 amalgamated by means of frequent intercourse. Yet I 
 am so far opposed to the levelling principles of the 
 democrats, that I consider it a decided mistake, in 
 persons of higher rank, to try to put those of the lower 
 class exactly on the same footing with themselves. It does 
 them no good, and will probably embarrass them, or 
 make them presuming. The aim of the Christian phi- 
 lanthropist, in his intercourse with the poor, should be, 
 I think, to render them content with the station (rod 
 has assigned them in society ; by making them feel that 
 were their own position the very lowest, we respect 
 them if they fill it worthily, and that, where they stand 
 in need of our help, it is a pleasure to us to give it 
 them. If we endeavour, in an unnatural manner, to 
 lift them above their station, we sow the seeds of dis- 
 content, which are sure to bear fruit, when they fall 
 back from the false elevation in which they cannot 
 maintain themselves, into their former condition.' 
 
 In June 1853, Miss Sieveking congratulated her 
 eldest nephew, who had previously lost a little child, 
 on the birth of a son, on which occasion she writes :* 
 
 'Very much have I been pleased with your peda- 
 gogical ideas, and I subscribe to them all in their full 
 
 * In English. Tu.
 
 444 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKTSG. 
 
 extent. With satisfaction I recognise in you the true 
 Sieveking's race, which issued, as you will remember, from 
 a worthy Westphalian schoolmaster. Till now I should 
 have thought that the good old schoolmaster's blood 
 flowed in all its purity only in the veins of the female 
 descendants. In no way, however, am I jealous for the 
 female line of our family, so as to grudge the most 
 valuable talent of education to anyone of the male one, 
 and last of all to you. Most sincerely do I wish that 
 you may find on your path as few disappointments as 
 possible. Alas ! what young parents should not like to 
 set before their eyes the fairest prospects for their 
 darlings upon their knees ! And how should they not 
 have in readiness a plan of education which scarcely 
 can fail to realise those prospects; a plan so full gf 
 wisdom and beautiful harmony, that it needs must lead 
 to a most happy result, if there was not a single if not, 
 but a most weighty one it must be owned if there was 
 not so much sin and fragility on the part of the teachers 
 themselves, and in them on whom the experiment is to 
 be tried, enough to derange, even perhaps to subvert, 
 the most elaborate and best combined plan. With all 
 that, I feel bold to augur you success. The general 
 sober tenour of your mind will preserve you from the 
 danger of being led astray by vain chimeras : you don't 
 even wish for a phenomenon in your child ; you have 
 not raised your standard above your reach ; you will be 
 satisfied if you see your boy grow up to become a
 
 OX THE EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. 445 
 
 sound-thinking and strong-acting man. . . . Parental 
 love is the tutelar angel of the child ; but, as other holy 
 angels, he is to take his commission, not from nature's 
 altar only, but from before the throne of the Most 
 High. To variate the same theme, you will certainly 
 agree with me in three cardinal points, as forming the 
 basis of every sound pedagogical theory truth, activity, 
 and obedience. At the bottom of all this must be a 
 loving faith: a painted image floating on the surface 
 \vill not do. Woe to them who systematically engraft 
 the lie into their pupil's heart, in teaching the infant 
 lips to pronounce words in which the teachers them- 
 selves do not believe, and which for the child are void 
 of sense and genuine feeling ! ' 
 
 In the same letter Miss Sieveking recurs to a subject 
 which was very near her heart, and respecting which 
 she could not listen to an opposite opinion without 
 emotion, so closely was her own view entwined with her 
 whole habit of thought, namely, the question of eternal 
 punishment. ' In a former letter,' she says, f you ask 
 me to explain the apparent contradiction there is 
 between parents consoling themselves with the convic- 
 tion that their babies who die young are partakers of 
 heavenly bliss, and between their devotion to their 
 children, which would induce them to do anything to 
 prevent their dying. To follow out (you add) the 
 former conclusion legitimately, is to act as the mad- 
 woman who slaughtered her children in order that they
 
 446 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 might be saved the peril of their souls. My dear 
 Edward, let me tell you my mind freely : if the 
 promises are right, if the new-born babe after his 
 decease, without any intermediate state, immediately 
 enters the abode of heavenly bliss: if, on the other 
 hand, every soul that dies in his sins is to be condemned 
 to never-ending torments; then, indeed, I can see in 
 that poor woman's proceeding, not madness, but rather 
 the highest abnegation of motherly love. However, it is 
 precisely the enormity of such a position that appears 
 to me a striking argument against the melancholy 
 doctrine of never-ending perdition. It often puzzles 
 me how its adherents, among them so many pious and 
 in other respects enlightened men, can adapt to it their 
 notions of supreme Justice and almighty Love. What, 
 the new-born child in possession of eternal, unspeak- 
 able bliss, without any struggle, without any trial, only 
 because it has pleased God to call him from a world of 
 sin, before his sleeping propensity to it was developed 
 and the poor wretch, the offspring of vice and shame, 
 in the midst of mighty temptations left without a 
 spiritual guide, he, for not having overcome his evil 
 passions, he should be devoted to never-ending eternities 
 of woe ! No, no ; till my last breath I shall protest 
 with all my might against a view of things which, in 
 my eyes, leads to blasphemy. In my opinion, heaven 
 and earth are not reft asunder, the earth not isolated 
 from heaven, but both in the nearest combination, as
 
 LETTERS TO HER NEPHEW. 447 
 
 beginning and continuation are annexed one to another. 
 Thus I see in the life of every mortal a vast plan of 
 education, whose first rudiments only are thrown into the 
 space between his cradle and his tomb, but whose com- 
 plete developement will take eternities to come. Should 
 I in this rob you of a consolation with regard to your 
 dearly beloved first-born ? Oh no, I don't think so. 
 You have resigned your dear little Edward into the 
 hands of your heavenly Father, who loves him better 
 than even you could love him. When he had been 
 spared you, what tender cares would you have lavished 
 upon him ! Now you would surely not have taken him 
 from a good nurse, except in the one case that you 
 had found another, better still. So when the Lord has 
 taken your darling from you, you may safely trust His 
 love that it was only to transfer the young plant to 
 another climate more favourable to its growth and 
 developement.' 
 
 In April 1854 she writes to her nephew, again in 
 English : * Your letter has given me very much pleasure 
 in the genuine expressions of the justly appreciated hap- 
 piness which is fallen to your lot But now let 
 
 me render you the like in the acknowledgement of the 
 many inappreciable privileges of my situation. The 
 abundance of Divine grace is not indeed confined to 
 any particular sphere of human life. Matrimonial and 
 parental happiness stand very high in my estimation ; 
 and still I could almost defy any married woman and
 
 448 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKIXG. 
 
 happy mother, whether not, on the whole, the sum of 
 gladness I have enjoyed equals hers, though probably 
 my life is more deficient in hours of high ecstacy. But 
 I think, that in an average estimate of human felicity, 
 a general tenour of quiet satisfaction falls heavier in 
 the scale, than those periods of all over-towering bliss, 
 which in the nature of things can be but of short dura- 
 tion. My dear Edward, my dear Jane, if Providence 
 grants you a daughter, let her learn early, that the 
 essential conditions of a woman and happiness are no 
 others than faith, and charity, and hope ; and if perhaps 
 her old aunt does not live to see her blooming youth, 
 let this be my legacy to her the solemn assurance, 
 that also a single state may be glorified by unspeakable 
 blessings, if it is filled up by a vocation of charitable 
 love.' 
 
 Speaking of her Children's Hospital, she tells her 
 nephew, that she has added a fourth to the three work- 
 ing deaconesses, in order to divide the burthen of care 
 and labour, which had become too heavy. ' As to the 
 increase of expense occasioned by this new arrangement, 
 we were emboldened to encounter it by a fine legacy of 
 above 100 marks in ducats,* successively laid by for 
 
 our institution by a poor solitary woman. In 
 
 melancholy and almost misanthropic seclusion from the 
 world, she passed her last years at Ham, almost forgotten, 
 I daresay, by most of her former acquaintances. Poor
 
 ANOTHER YISIT TO SORGENFREI. 449 
 
 soul ! how much more happiness would these pieces of 
 gold have yielded to her, if, instead of hoarding them 
 up, though for a charitable purpose, she herself had 
 applied them to the mitigation of human misery, add- 
 ing her heart's sympathies to the gift of charity, and 
 thus enjoying the sweetness of loving and of being 
 beloved.' 
 
 In August 1854, Miss Sieveking accepted another 
 invitation to visit the Queen at Sorgenfrei, and she 
 writes after her return home : 
 
 'I feel well and cheery, and look back on the three 
 weeks' episode of my sojourn at Sorgenfrei with thank- 
 fulness. If one could not rejoice to return home, in 
 my opinion one had better not travel ; and I heartily 
 pity any one to whom travelling has become such a 
 necessity, that he is continually longing to see new 
 places and countries, and cannot stay quietly at home 
 for a single summer. When things are as they should 
 be with us, it seems to me that the circle to which we 
 immediately belong must always be the dearest to our 
 heart. But with all this I should be most ungrateful 
 not to acknowledge how much I have often gained by 
 travelling. I am sure it does one a great deal of good 
 to get out of harness occasionally, and be free from 
 one's every-day business ; and it certainly is not a good 
 thing for a man to be bound to the habits of his own 
 house and home, like a snail to its shell. And if from 
 such an occasional excursion over land and sea, we 
 
 G G
 
 450 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 bring no blessing back to our own home, it is surely 
 our own fault, for not knowing how to make use of new 
 impressions. No doubt however there is a more and a 
 less, in all this, which does not altogether depend upon 
 
 ourselves Once more a thousand thanks for the 
 
 beautiful token of remembrance which I received from 
 my dear Queen at our parting hour. It will be to me a 
 symbol of deep significance. The rings, linked one within 
 the other, to which I can find neither beginning nor end, 
 remind me of eternity. The glowing red stone in the 
 middle is to me an image of love, that love of God 
 which will bestow on us the blessedness of eternal life, 
 and does bestow it now, when we suffer His love to be 
 shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost. Your 
 Majesty's hair entwined with a golden chain will remind 
 me to show myself worthy of the favour which a noble 
 princess has vouchsafed to me, and the chain suggests 
 the ties which ought to unite all mankind, from the 
 throne down to the lowest condition of social life, but 
 which indeed, to make them firm and enduring, require 
 to be linked to a higher throne than that of any earthly 
 potentate.'
 
 CHAPTEK XXIX. 
 
 1854-1856. 
 
 THE SIXTH COURSE OF CLASSES BEGUN THE TWENTY- 
 SECOND REPORT, AND HER LAST BOOK, ' CONVERSATIONS,' 
 
 ETC. POLITICS LETTER TO THE QUEEN OF PRUSSIA 
 
 FIFTH VISIT TO ENGLAND THE BATHS OP LIPPSPRINGE. 
 
 TN December Miss Sieveking sent her Twenty-second 
 -- Beport to the Queen, and with it her last book, just 
 published * Conversations on Particular Passages of 
 Holy Scripture.' She writes at the same time: ' Since 
 I have begun my sixth course of classes with fifteen little 
 girls, I am obliged to portion out my time very care- 
 fully, in order not to be hindered in my current em- 
 ployments. The last set of pupils claim their rights, 
 and I could very well use one or two more mornings 
 than there are in the week. However, all is now regu- 
 larly fitted in, and I always think that it is a much 
 happier thing to be at a loss often how to find time 
 enough, than not to know what to do with it. I con- 
 sider it a great advantage to have a fixed employment 
 which occupies the larger portion of one's time. Where 
 this is not the case, I think it is well to supply the 
 
 a c 2
 
 452 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 want by making for ourselves as regular an apportion- 
 ment of our time as possible. But this plan must be 
 arranged as under the eye of God, seriously weighing 
 the means and faculties for doing good which He has 
 entrusted to us, and remembering also the account 
 which He will one day require of the conscientious dis- 
 posal of them. But I think it requires much more 
 energy to carry out such a plan of life, of which the 
 ordering is more or less in our own power, than to 
 attend to the duties of a prescribed calling.' 
 
 She expresses her sentiments on another subject 
 in this letter, on which she remarks : ' Your Majesty is 
 at this time, no doubt, much occupied with political 
 interests ; this is most natural for princes, and perhaps 
 entirely right : yet you will not take it amiss, if I wish to 
 lay a counterbalancing weight in the other scale: namely, 
 the interests of poor suffering humanity. Your Majesty, 
 at least in your present position, is not called upon to 
 take an active part in the entangled maze of state affairs ; 
 but to distribute the means of blessing not money 
 only, but of real blessing among the poor and needy is, 
 according to St. Paul, the especial mission of Christian 
 widows in general. Must it not then be recognised by 
 the widow of the father of his country, as peculiarly 
 her own? So many political questions seem to me to 
 have no moral importance for individuals, except at the 
 moment when they arise. Whatever in these political 
 relations belongs to history, whatever contains a pro-
 
 LETTER TO THE QUEEN. 453 
 
 mise of future good for the nations, we must leave to 
 a higher hand, which will know how to arrange all 
 the tangled threads, and form them into a tissue of 
 beauty. To him to whom it is given, as it were, to see 
 that Hand at work, there may well be a joy in doing 
 so. Only, I think, there are but few who do not 
 see things through a coloured medium, and then every- 
 thing appears different from what it really is. I for 
 my part but then indeed the literature of newspapers 
 is now-a-days almost entirely a terra incognita to 
 me I would rather study the policy of the great Euler 
 of the world in the past, which has already become 
 history, than in the wild agitation of the present.' 
 
 Miss Sieveking sent her new book to the Queen of 
 Prussia about this time, and wrote to her with it. In 
 the summer of 1853 the King and Queen of Prussia, 
 during a visit to Hamburg, had visited the Children's 
 Hospital, and had left it a liberal gift in money. She 
 returns her thanks for this, excusing herself for not 
 having done so before, and continues : ' Since then two 
 yearly Keports of our Association have appeared, both 
 of which were composed during the leisure of a three 
 weeks' visit to the Castle of Sorgenfrei in the summer 
 of 1852, and again last summer; each time I had the 
 pleasure of showing the manuscript to the excellent 
 Queen Caroline Amelia. I ventured also to read my 
 " Conversations on the Holy Scriptures " to her before 
 printing, and indeed, it is principally her approval
 
 454 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 which has emboldened me to send a copy of this work 
 to your Majesty, for I fancy that there is a certain 
 kindredness of spirit between yourself and her. No doubt, 
 however, your Majesty must often be overburdened with 
 the quantity of books sent to you in this way, and it is 
 impossible you should read them all, so that it could 
 not surprise me if my book were left unread, especially 
 as it is intended for quite young women. Should you, 
 however, cast a glance at it, and should you be satisfied 
 that its tendency is agreeable to your views, then I 
 would ask you to look around your circle for any young 
 lady to whom my reflections and especially the last 
 portion, the " Legacy to my Young Friends " would be 
 suitable, and who might make a good use of them. 
 Indeed I am very anxious that the ideas there expressed 
 should find acceptance and response in many circles, 
 because I think I see in them a remedy for the frivolity 
 and vanity to which unhappily so many of our sex are 
 given up, and which leave the heart so empty, and life 
 so barren. One of my nephews lately wrote to me at 
 some length on the plan of study which, in his opinion, 
 I ought to pursue with my pupils, advising me to en- 
 deavour, as next in importance to Christian principles, 
 to awaken in them a certain exclusive feeling of German 
 patriotism. But I cannot admit the suggestion ; the 
 field of politics is almost foreign to myself, nor can I 
 concede to women and young girls, especially of the 
 middle class, any right to busy themselves with political
 
 VIEWS ON POLITICS. 455 
 
 questions, save in a very limited measure. They are 
 clearly not called to take an active part in such 
 affairs, and idle speculations, as I think, can neither 
 really satisfy their own minds, nor be any good to those 
 around them. If we are but true servants of our Lord 
 we shall be of as much service to our country as it lies 
 within the sphere of our powers and duties to be. It may 
 be the duty of the highest of our sex to venture them- 
 selves into the labyrinth of state affairs ; but I cannot 
 hold it to be the business of the middle class to do so. 
 But one mission, I think, is common to all women, be 
 they of high rank or of low, although the variety of 
 position will modify its form. It is the mission of 
 humble ministering love, grounded on faith, whose 
 gentle magic interposes with a softening influence 
 amidst the hard contrarieties and passionate agitations 
 of the world, and brings heaven down to earth, making 
 a paradise within the heart, if it cannot always succeed 
 in doing so in the outward world. That the Eternal 
 Love may make us all, from the princess on the throne 
 to the lowest peasant girl, ever more truly instruments 
 of blessing in His Hand, is the deepest wish of my 
 heart.' 
 
 She expresses her profoundest convictions on the 
 same subject in a letter to Queen Caroline Amelia, of 
 June 1855. She there says : 
 
 'It seems to me a tremendous responsibility for a 
 Christian ruler to risk the life and well-being of so
 
 456 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 many thousands of his subjects in any war which could 
 possibly have been avoided. I myself know of but one 
 point of viewfor all political questions, that of the Gospel, 
 and there are scarcely any in which I do not find sin 
 and error on both sides, and that in the very question 
 itself, not merely in the opposing leaders. In the eyes 
 of many, political passions and the love of our country 
 are identical : but in my estimation this is a false view, 
 and I hold that many are excellent patriots who know 
 nothing about politics. I would define patriotism as 
 the love of the country wherein by (rod's appointment 
 we were born, beyond all other countries ; the love of 
 the nation with whom He has placed us in connection, 
 beyond all other nations. A feeling so deeply rooted 
 in our nature must be a sign of the will of our Maker 
 in this respect, and when hallowed by Christianity, the 
 love of our country must undoubtedly be reckoned 
 among the Christian virtues. But one thing I must 
 maintain, which perhaps would scandalise many warm 
 patriots: the feeling of national hatred I hold to be 
 wholly incompatible with the spirit of Christianity ; 
 and even at the time of the War of Liberation, I could 
 not well bear to hear the French spoken of as a nation 
 of rascals, against whom anything was allowable in the 
 way of vengeance, for the wrongs they had done to us. 
 I know that cosmopolitism is often a mere mask for 
 selfishness; under pretence of aiming at the good of 
 the whole human race, people neglect the interests of
 
 YIEWS ON POLITICS. 457 
 
 their own country, and even of those who are united to 
 them by the holiest ties. But the false pretence cannot 
 do away with the reality. All Christians should in a 
 peculiar sense be cosmopolites, because they acknowledge 
 a Kedeemer, who is the propitiation for the sins of the 
 whole world, and who willeth to gather all the races of 
 men into one flock. But I am deeply convinced that this 
 Christian cosmopolitism, though it enlarges our hearts, 
 in no way lessens the depth and fervour of our feelings. 
 The old Germans were often fired to the shedding of 
 blood by the wild outcries of their women : but this 
 can never be the part of Christian women. What other 
 mission can theirs be than one of mediation, of long- 
 suffering, self-sacrificing love ? ' 
 
 In the same letter she observes: 
 
 ' I think that, as we grow older, we have need to be 
 on our guard against a certain stagnation in our views 
 of life and the world, and the thoughts and feelings 
 connected with them ; and the change of all the objects 
 around us which is found in travelling seems to me a 
 very appropriate remedy.' 
 
 She replies to her nephew on the subject which he 
 had brought forward : 
 
 * lam very much against women meddling much with 
 politics, and what I have actually seen in this way 
 strengthens my objection to it. For what does it all 
 come to? In place of thorough knowledge you have 
 empty declamation, all the more vehement in proportion
 
 458 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 as the disputants are unable to support their side by 
 sound reasoning ; and instead of the clear standard of 
 fixed principles, you have hasty judgments, evidently 
 not based on the nature of the case, but springing from 
 personal feeling.' 
 
 In September 1855, Amelia accepted another invita- 
 tion from her brother, and spent four weeks in England, 
 first with her nephew and his family at Brighton, 
 where she took a course of sea-bathing, and then with 
 her brother in the neighbourhood of London. She 
 writes of this visit to the Queen of Denmark in March 
 1856: 
 
 * It was a delightful, enjoyable time, but I caught a 
 cold on the journey home, which was obstinate enough to 
 make my friends somewhat uneasy, and which has not 
 yet quite passed off. My physician seemed to fear a 
 consumptive tendency, and especially recommended a 
 nourishing diet. He seems to have found the right 
 treatment, for I am now almost well and strong again. 
 Kind Dr. Von During, who treats me as a real friend, 
 has laid me under a special obligation, because, on 
 careful consideration of my individual case, he has not 
 insisted on my giving up my active habits. I have been 
 allowed to go on with my teaching, committee meetings, 
 and visiting my poor people ; and if at times I feel a 
 little over tired, yet I am firmly convinced that the 
 exertion of all my powers has helped to overcome the 
 disorder. To give way too much to feelings of bodily
 
 VISIT TO ENGLAND. 459 
 
 illness seems to me to be always the infallible way to 
 make them worse. 
 
 ' In England, I had for the first time the opportunity 
 of attending the service of the Episcopal Church ; I 
 could hardly ever ask my brother to accompany me 
 there, as I know that he does not at all like it, and 
 most decidedly gives the preference to our Lutheran 
 Church. I must now say that I entirely feel with him, 
 and it is almost incomprehensible to me how spiritual 
 life and devotion can be maintained in a congregation, 
 and still more how the clergy do not lose both, with 
 this English Liturgy. A certain participation of the 
 people in the service by means of the responses is really 
 beautiful : but then those eternal repetitions ! At each 
 service, and there are two or three every Sunday, the 
 Lord's Prayer is repeated five times, twice the Apostles' 
 Creed, once the Ten Coinmandments with responses by 
 the people, two tolerably long Psalms (always the same), 
 and besides these as much as twenty fixed prayers, which 
 however are by no means long. I must confess that such 
 stereotyped devotion goes contrary to my whole nature ; 
 and that a true love and delight in God's word would 
 hardly have been awakened in me, if in my childhood 
 people had insisted on cramming me with the Bible, as 
 is the usual practice in England. There, children of 
 from six to eight years old are often sent to the Sunday 
 school from nine till eleven ; then from eleven till one 
 they are at church, from two to three Sunday school
 
 460 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 again, and then immediately follows another two hours' 
 service. I cannot say that I agree with the English 
 principle of keeping Sunday; it seems to me almost 
 unavoidable that the spirit should be lost in the letter. 
 But I must confess that in visiting the poor, which I 
 frequently did at Brighton, I found more knowledge of 
 Scripture (and it seemed to me not to be a mere lifeless 
 knowledge) in these lower classes in society than would 
 be found among ourselves. Indeed, in Germany, and 
 particularly with us in Hamburg, the contrary is the 
 case, and a spirit of opposition to the Church is spread- 
 ing more and more As to our Association, your 
 
 Majesty will see by our Twenty-third Eeport how it 
 goes on. . . . My " Conversations on Holy Scripture " 
 have found good acceptance in many places, which is a 
 pleasure to me, and now a second edition is in the press, 
 larger by half than the first.' 
 
 About this time she writes to her nephew (in English 
 as usual) : 
 
 ' You overrate by far my spiritual attainments, and 
 so do many of my friends here. That certainly ought 
 to lead me to sincere self-humiliation, but at the same 
 time it shall prove to me a stimulus to aspire in good 
 earnest after a degree of perfection you think I have 
 already come to. In one thing, however, you are quite 
 right: if you call my life a happy one, I must fully 
 acquiesce, and it would be shameful ingratitude, indeed, 
 if I did not. A sphere of activity which corresponds
 
 LETTER TO HER NEPHEW. 461 
 
 with the innermost tendencies of my being, and love, 
 friendship, confidential regard, meeting me from so 
 many quarters, are indeed invaluable benefits, and of 
 how many more have I to boast of in my situation in 
 life ! In my in the latter months somewhat enfeebled 
 state of health, I have received a great many marks of 
 sympathy, which really touch me to the heart ; above all 
 from your dear papa, to whom I beg you to repeat my 
 warm thanks for all he has done, and intends further to 
 do for me. Among my other friends I must single out 
 the dear Theresa Pehmoller, the kind and unwearying 
 agent of your father's bounties, and the good Dr. Von 
 During, whose visits have more the character of a 
 friendly interview than a professional stamp, though at 
 the same time he is very careful, and who steadily 
 refuses to take any fee from me, though I must own 
 that I am not always a very docile patient. I think 
 that many people would feel their delicacy hurt in not 
 being allowed to pay their doctor ; it is not so with me. 
 In most of my labours I myself have volunteered, and on 
 the other hand, I think it not degrading to receive 
 gratuitous services from others, and thus I am bound 
 by the ties of gratitude to a good many persons. . . . 
 
 e With all due acknowledgment, however, of the kind 
 regard paid to my person and to my work, I must how- 
 ever say, that in one respect, where it would be the 
 most gratifying to me, this regard is often withheld. 
 The great object of my life, at least since my twentieth
 
 462 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKING. 
 
 year, has been to raise my sex, and especially the single 
 women, to a higher sphere of activity, to an efficient 
 and practical furtherance of the kingdom of (rod, to an 
 useful though subordinate co-operation with men in the 
 same labours which are to benefit the poorer classes. 
 Now, I have met with much approbation of my ideas, 
 praises have been lavished on my efforts, much more 
 than they deserve in the all-searching eye of the Lord ; 
 but what avails all that, when the acknowledgment by 
 fact and practice is wanting ? My " Conversations on 
 Passages of the Scriptures " have been read by many 
 with interest ; a new and enlarged edition is now 
 leaving the press. All that is very well, but now the 
 mother of one of my pupils, a lady who certainly is not 
 of weak intellects, compliments me on my book, and 
 assures me that she scarcely ever has read anything so 
 much to her edification, and the same lady denies to 
 her daughter the permission to read occasionally to a 
 poor blind man. Must I think, then, her compliment a 
 mere unmeaning flattery ? I would not tax her with 
 that. It is only one of those so often occurring 
 instances of incoherence between a man's theory and 
 his practice. Another case: another of my former 
 pupils has an earnest longing after an useful voca- 
 tion beyond the needlework which now fills up the 
 greatest part of her time. A most favourable oppor- 
 tunity is afforded to her : she may stay at the paternal 
 house, only four times a week she is to help me in
 
 RETURN OF ILLNESS. 463 
 
 my class, plenty of time for her little household 
 duties. She is quite happy in this prospect ; her own 
 mother declares she can wish no better for her, being 
 at a loss how to provide the necessary occupations for 
 three grown daughters, and still the whole plan has 
 come to nought, by the obstinate opposition of the 
 papa, who cannot bear the idea of his girl being bound 
 to any regular labour out of the house. Another hus- 
 band of my acquaintance will not allow his wife to pay 
 a visit to the poor in the morning, lest the servant- 
 maid should want the proper superintendence, not in 
 her work (she is sufficiently clever in that), but in her 
 morals. If, however, he is to go out with his lady to 
 any party, leaving the house for many hours together, 
 his tender fears for the servant's morals are dismissed. 
 You will easily conceive that such incongruities and 
 prejudices sometimes grieve and vex me very much. 
 However, I do n't renounce the hope to see the power 
 of these prejudices at last abolished, though perhaps 
 my earthly eye may long be shut before that be done ; 
 and if I have been, as I think I have, in some degree 
 instrumental in this result, I shall deem it a blessin<* 
 
 * O 
 
 for which I '11 thank God in eternity.' 
 
 Although Miss Sieveking for a while felt stronger, 
 the old vigour did not return ; and an obstinate cough, 
 which had its seat in the trachea, and was continually 
 irritated by the overstrain of teaching and reading 
 aloud, made her physician think it needful to prescribe
 
 464 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 a visit to some baths, which would at the same time 
 involve an interruption of her usual occupations. He 
 chose the Baths of Lippspringe, and she most un- 
 willingly submitted to the necessity. In August 1856 
 she writes to Queen Caroline Amelia, whom for the 
 second time this summer she had missed on her way 
 through Hamburg : f Here I am again at home, after 
 passing five weeks at Lippspringe; I am not indeed 
 fully recovered, but still I hope for a recovery. My 
 cough, and to some extent my languor also, continue, 
 but I am said to look better, and whatever is still 
 wanting is expected from the after effects of the treat- 
 ment. Well, we shall see. If things do not mend, as 
 I still hope they will, I shall at least have the comfort 
 of having done my part. The results are in Higher 
 hands, and there they will remain, however much we 
 may trouble ourselves about them. But this is the 
 believer's privilege, that he may bid farewell to all dis- 
 quieting care " East or west, Home's the best," 
 
 is a German proverb, and I pity any one who cannot 
 say so heartily. At Lippspringe I needed all my 
 philosophy not to give way to home sickness.' 
 
 And yet the diary which she kept there, and which, 
 true to her old habit, she read to her pupils and friends 
 at home, shows how well she understood how to invest 
 even the idle life of a watering-place with some kind of 
 practical interest, by her connection with the different 
 individuals who came there, and her readiness to
 
 LIFE AT LIPPSPRINGE. 465 
 
 receive and communicate information of various kinds. 
 Although all that concerned the interests of Christian 
 philanthropy was what she chiefly sought and gave in 
 conversation, it was never her custom, as the saying 
 is, only ' to greet those of her own trade.' On the con- 
 trary, she took especial pleasure in free intercourse 
 with people of a different way of thinking., and sought 
 the society of persons of various classes and opinions. 
 She wasted no time even on the promenade, or at the table 
 d'hote ; that is, she understood how even there to give 
 a definite object to any conversation, and, as she used to 
 say, half in jest, but not without a serious meaning, 
 tried at any rate to get something out of it for her 
 diary. She especially enjoyed her intercourse with the 
 wife and daughters of General von Thiele, of Frankfort- 
 on-the-Oder, with Miss Suringar, the daughter of a 
 well-known Dutch philanthropist, and with Super- 
 intendent Dirksen, from Aurich, and from their ac- 
 quaintance she derived much advantage. Very un- 
 willingly did she devote these five weeks entirely to the 
 pursuit of health; she indeed fulfilled her task of 
 drinking the waters, walking, &c., punctually enough, 
 but if she kept to the letter of her physician's orders, 
 she probably departed greatly from their spirit, as was 
 apt to be the case with her whenever the necessity of 
 the rule was not clear to her own mind. 'To wear 
 oneself out in the service of others,' is, in the closest 
 sense of the words, the appointed work and fate of all 
 
 H H
 
 466 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 whom Grod has chosen to be His especial instruments ; 
 it was Amelia Sieveking's task and her destiny, and 
 only in fulfilling it could she be true to herself. 
 
 At the close of 1856, she writes again to the Queen : 
 4 During the last few months, I have been idler than 
 ever in my correspondence, because I could make my 
 physical weakness an excuse. I cannot say that I have 
 been in a particularly suffering state. I have had scarcely 
 any pain, but I felt weary and exhausted, so that I often 
 fell asleep in the day, and could literally only creep 
 along the road, and I was visibly growing thinner. 
 My physician considered the case serious, and did not 
 conceal his opinion from me. Of course this was a 
 solemn admonition to think on death and eternity, but 
 I must own that I felt so much life in me, that I could 
 not fully believe that the illness was to end fatally; 
 and with this feeling I could not resolve to yield un- 
 conditional obedience to the doctor's advice, that I 
 should spare my strength by lessening my work. My 
 nephew, the physician in London, actually wished me 
 to give up the whole of my work for six months ; but 
 I thought I understood my own constitution better 
 than he did. Entire leisure would only have made my 
 ailments worse, and I should have become intolerable 
 to myself by constantly dwelling upon them, so I 
 broke through these rules, and, with very few exceptions, 
 have contrived to fulfil all my engagements, including 
 the conduct of the Association, the instruction of the
 
 DECLINE OF HEALTH. 467 
 
 children, and the Bible-classes with my elder girls. I cer- 
 tainly found it a little hard sometimes, but I got through, 
 and the result has shown that my plan was not so mis- 
 taken as some people would make out. I held to the 
 maxim of the physician at Lippspringe, whom I like 
 on many accounts, but especially because I often heard 
 him repeat, that the power of the mind over the body 
 is much greater than people are generally inclined to 
 admit. I think that there would be much less illness 
 in the world, if physicians were more diligent in teach- 
 ing this doctrine, and patients more willing to believe 
 it than they now are. At present, I may consider 
 myself, almost recovered, although the cough is not 
 quite gone, nor my old strength quite restored. I can- 
 not decide whether to ascribe this recovery wholly to 
 the after effects of the Lippspringe waters ; no doubt 
 they were helped by very warm clothing, very nourish- 
 ing diet, cod-liver oil, and steel drops. One task, which 
 really did oppress me very much at this time, was the 
 composition of the Twenty-fourth Report. At Lipp- 
 springe I had not the necessary materials : after the 
 journey I could not give my children fresh holidays, and 
 so I was obliged in a manner to steal time for this work, 
 the worst of which was, that in many hours that I might 
 well have reserved for it, the disposition for writing so 
 entirely failed, that I could not even make the attempt ; 
 for though one can force oneself to many kinds of effort 
 
 H H 2
 
 468 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 by conquering one's inward dislike, there really is no 
 true way to do such work when the inward impulse 
 is entirely absent. I have made the Eeport somewhat 
 shorter than usual, and I only wish it may not be too 
 manifest that the composition was such weary work.'
 
 469 
 
 CHAPTER XXX. 
 
 1856-1858. 
 
 PAINFUL DOMESTIC OCCURRENCE THE TWENTY-FIFTH 
 
 ANNIVERSARY OF THE ASSOCIATION JOURNEY TO THE 
 
 SODEN BATHS THE COMMERCIAL CRISIS AND ITS CONSE- 
 QUENCES DEATHS IN THE FAMILY REMARKS ON HER 
 
 FUTURE BIOGRAPHY PHYSICAL STATE. 
 
 IN the autumn of this year Miss Sieveking was obliged 
 to change her residence, which was attended with 
 some difficulty, on account of the space required for 
 her school, and the high rate of house-rent in Hamburg. 
 She rented a house standing alone, with a little garden 
 round it, at the end of an open space, beside a canal ; 
 the upper rooms she let off, and moved into it with her 
 servants, a good honest couple without children. In 
 spite of the simplicity of her domestic arrangements, 
 her few wants and requirements, she had latterly had 
 some unpleasant experiences in this quarter, as her 
 maid had robbed her of a considerable sum of money 
 by means of a false key. The interval during which 
 she kept this person on trial between her first feeling 
 of suspicion (a feeling contrary to her whole nature), 
 and the moment, when, having obtained unquestionable
 
 470 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 certainty, she forced the thief to confess her guilt in the 
 presence of a concealed officer of justice, was to her a 
 period of real misery, full of most painful emotion. After 
 the dismissal of these unworthy persons, quiet returned, 
 and now she felt happy and contented in her new and 
 pleasant dwelling, attended by faithful and grateful 
 servants. But she was not recovered, and although 
 it is very probable that she might have sunk altogether, 
 had she given up all the bodily exertion connected 
 with her calling, yet on the other hand, the enfeebled 
 organs could not gain strength under such unceasing 
 and excessive use. The spring of 1857 brought in- 
 creased cough and greater loss of strength ; accustomed 
 as she had been for many years to rise at five o'clock, 
 summer and winter, and never to go to bed till eleven 
 at night, she was often overcome by weariness in the 
 middle of the day. Her good constitution helped her 
 to sleep immediately, if she only lay down for half-an- 
 hour ; but the feet often refused their office, and she 
 was forced to sit down by the roadside on her way to 
 visit her friends or the poor. The warmth of the summer 
 brought some return of strength, but the physicians 
 (two of whom were now called in), were unanimous in 
 advising a journey to some watering-place, and this 
 time Soden, near Frankfort-on-the-Maine, was recom- 
 mended. She yielded to the necessity, not without an 
 inward struggle, since it put an end to a hope of seeing 
 her brother and sister at Hamburg, in the course of the
 
 TWENTY-FIFTH ANNIVERSARY. 471 
 
 summer. Before starting, however, on the 23rd of 
 May, 1857, she kept the Twenty-fifth Anniversary of 
 the foundation of her Association in a circle of sympa- 
 thising friends and acquaintance. It was an affecting 
 festival; the Association had opened a subscription 
 amongst themselves to give all the poor under their 
 care a dinner at their own houses. Dr. Wichern had 
 come by invitation from Berlin, and a speech from him 
 concluded the celebration, which had begun with a 
 hymn and an opening address from Pastor Monckeberg. 
 Miss Sieveking herself was feeling very weak at the 
 time, but a wish had been expressed that she should 
 say something, and she had promised to do so. 'I 
 have not yet been able to think over what I shall say,' 
 she had told a friend some days before, ' but I think 
 the Lord will give me strength for it.' And it was so. 
 When her delicate feeble frame was seen occupying the 
 principal seat in the room, and she began to speak with 
 an almost inaudible voice, many feared she would not 
 be able to finish, or that it would be impossible to hear 
 her ; but the voice soon gathered power, and she spoke 
 with clearness, dignity, and increasing warmth and 
 elevation, of the importance of the day to herself and 
 to the Association, gave thanks for the guidance vouch- 
 safed to her by her faithful God, explained what she 
 had desired and striven for, and how it had been granted 
 to her ; and then stated, that now, in the evening of 
 life, and with sensibly diminishing strength, she had
 
 472 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKINO. 
 
 yet no fears for her work, since she cherished a firm 
 conviction that it would survive her, although perhaps 
 in an altered form, because it was built upon the 
 only foundation that ensures permanence the faith 
 of Christ. The idea which filled her whole soul, 
 the raising and ennobling of her sex by works of 
 saving, serving love, was indeed become a fact and a 
 reality, though not yet in the full extent and develop- 
 ment in which it floated before her mind. She then 
 ended with the words of the hymn, ' Abide among us 
 with thy grace,' and certainly left in the hearts of 
 most of her hearers a feeling of tender, yet elevating 
 emotion. 
 
 On the 17th of July, she set out on her journey to 
 Soden, and the diary which she kept there with her 
 usual exactness affords some traits on which we must 
 linger a little, since this remarkable life is now drawing 
 
 O ' O 
 
 to a close. Her feeling of weakness was often great, 
 and it diminished her enjoyment of nature and of social 
 intercourse, the only things that could to her lessen the 
 sacrifice of a journey taken merely for health. Then, 
 too, the society at Soden suited her less than the smaller 
 circle at Lippspringe, and, except in intercourse with a 
 few friends from Hamburg, some former watering-place 
 acquaintance, and a few remarkable personages, she 
 found here, especially at first, less of intellectual interest. 
 On the 20th of July, she writes in her diary : 
 ' To-day for the first time I have done a little work ;
 
 THE BATHS AT SODEN. 473 
 
 yesterday I only wrote in my journal, and that was tedious, 
 for lack of interesting matter. I began with some 
 work connected with my teaching, and felt while doing it 
 some little return of the power of mental tension, which 
 latterly I have found so painfully wanting. Certainly, 
 whoever wishes to condemn me to total inactivity knows 
 but little of my mental or bodily requirements, which 
 in my opinion stand in the closest connection with each 
 other.' 
 
 The day after she writes : ' Miss Hosch has been telling 
 me about a Sewing Society for the benefit of the poor. 
 I only hope these sewing societies will not be looked 
 upon as a substitute for visiting associations. I cannot 
 help thinking them of very doubtful value, as long as 
 there are so many poor women and girls to whom one can 
 do no greater kindness than to find them work. I am 
 convinced that all higher kinds of benefit to the poor 
 are connected with personal intercourse with them.' 
 
 ' The conversation turned,' she says on the same day, 
 ' on a remarkable phenomenon, that in Prussia there is 
 scarcely any class among whom more awakened Christians 
 are to be found, than among the superior officers of the 
 army, and this naturally suggested the subject of war, 
 which always seems to me a psychological riddle, and so 
 incompatible with the spirit of Christianity, that I could 
 zealously and joyfully join in the efforts of Elihu 
 Burritt, if I could see any hope of their success.' 
 
 An incident, such as often troubled her, calls forth
 
 474 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 the following remarks : ' It always makes me impatient 
 to perceive how few people understand a regular dis- 
 cussion, which, in my opinion, requires before all things 
 silent attention, as long as one does not feel called upon 
 to bring forward anything of one's own to clear up the 
 subject, in which case it should be done, so that those 
 present may have the benefit of it.' 
 
 Many persons, both men and women, sought an 
 introduction to Miss Sieveking, to exchange ideas upon 
 their common interests and endeavours, and this was 
 sometimes rather oppressive to her in a place where 
 she could no longer look on social intercourse as a wel- 
 come recreation from her work, and where she often 
 felt weak and exhausted. ' On the whole,' she wrote, 
 * I have had pretty nearly enough of being sought after 
 as a remarkable person, except when there is anything 
 peculiarly interesting in those who come to me.' And 
 further : * This constant walking up and down among 
 the company, when one can only exchange a word or 
 two, first with one, and then with another, suits me so 
 little, that I prefer taking the greater part of my morn- 
 ing walks alone, in the pretty lonely paths through the 
 fields. If I did but understand how to make better use 
 of such lolitary rambles ! I do know how to take in 
 the impressions of Nature, but how to employ this 
 lovely time in edifying thought and fruitful meditation, 
 I do not understand. The contemplative attitude is too 
 foreign to my mind.'
 
 ON ENGLISH NOVELS. 475 
 
 For entertaining light reading, English novels suited 
 her particularly well, when, as is so often the case, she 
 found in them a Christian spirit and a picture of do- 
 mestic and social conditions true to nature, combined 
 with the interest of the language. At home she had no 
 time for such reading, and she had brought an English 
 novel with her on this journey. ' Daisy Chain,' she 
 writes, 'pleases me very much. Besides delicate de- 
 lineation of character, there are so many sound obser- 
 vations. My manner of reading it would indeed seem 
 rather strange to my young friends. I have it lying 
 beside me, and every time I finish a page of writing, 
 while it is drying, I read from two to four pages of the 
 English book, as a reward for my industry; in this 
 fashion I have already got as far as the 272nd page.' 
 
 At Soden she again met Miss Suringar, the Dutch 
 lady, whom she had already learnt to know and value 
 at Lippspringe, and she writes, after a conversation with 
 her : ' She told me that she entirely shares my opinion 
 about the endowment of charitable institutions ; if the 
 spirit goes out of them, the capital only serves to the 
 conservation of a mummy, while so long as the spirit 
 lives, the Lord will surely grant the outward means.' 
 
 The following remarks on the subject of the study of 
 the ancient languages, for young missionary students of 
 the artisan class, appear characteristic of the practical 
 turn of her mind. * I think,' she says, ( that the neces- 
 sary outlay of power is not adequately justified by the
 
 476 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 advantage to be obtained. I imagine, that the learned 
 gentlemen who have studied these dead languages in 
 early youth, can hardly form an idea of the labour 
 which it would cost men who, up to their eighteenth 
 or twentieth year, have not attained to any just, or at 
 least any profound knowledge of their own mother 
 tongue. And can such learning really be necessary for 
 the conversion of the heathen ? It is well, if it do not 
 turn away the missionary student from the simplicity 
 that is in Christ, and fill him with a kind of self- 
 conceit, for which he would have the more excuse, as he 
 would be conscious of the amount of exertion this 
 knowledge of languages had cost him. In any case I 
 should fear lest it might throw into the background 
 other studies and exercises, which seem to me of more 
 importance; for instance, a popular exegesis and the 
 practical care of souls.' 
 
 In consequence of an invitation from Frankfort, Miss 
 Sieveking went thither from Soden, and, in presence of 
 the Ladies of an Association for the Home Mission, she 
 held a kind of deliberative discussion with the clergy- 
 man who was its founder, in which she especially re- 
 commended that the poor should be visited by several 
 of the members in rotation. Some of the ladies then 
 requested her advice on particular cases, which she gave 
 to the best of her power, though not without the 
 remark, that it was somewhat dangerous to give advice 
 in special cases, without particular acquaintance with
 
 ASSOCIATION AT EMDEN. 477 
 
 the individuals concerned. In the town of Hochst, 
 also, she encouraged an association of ladies, who had 
 hitherto only distributed alms, to pay personal visits to 
 the poor. 
 
 A lady from Emden, had described to Miss Sieveking 
 a society which existed there, consisting of both men 
 and women, who were associated for literary and bene- 
 volent purposes. 'It seems,' she says in her diary, 
 ' that several very good institutions have arisen from 
 the working of this society, such as infant schools, a 
 lending fund, &c. From time to time questions are 
 proposed for their solution by a society at Amsterdam, 
 and lately the question was put, whether it was allow- 
 able to admit Jews to be members of such an Associa- 
 tion, which gave rise to much eager discussion. I 
 think one need neither be a clergyman nor a pietist to 
 have doubts on such a subject. For my own part, I 
 must know more of the character of the society before 
 I could give an opinion. If their objects are simply 
 benevolent, Jews might co-operate with them; but 
 where any specifically Christian questions come under 
 
 discussion, they could have no voice nor would 
 
 I myself ever willingly separate these benevolent objects 
 from Christianity. When, for instance, the foundation 
 of infant schools originated with the Emden Society, 
 the question would be of essential importance, in what 
 spirit they were to be conducted; but here, indeed, 
 there might be as great diversity of opinion between
 
 478 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKINGU 
 
 Christian and Christian, i. e. between those who call 
 themselves so, as between Christians and Jews.' 
 
 Among the company at Soden, there was a certain 
 society of gentlemen and ladies, principally, but not 
 entirely, consisting of clergymen and their wives, who 
 met periodically and took coffee in the open air, after 
 which one of the clergymen present read a passage 
 of Scripture, and the party conversed upon this and 
 similar subjects. Miss Sieveking readily took part in 
 these Bible classes, as they were called, and on one 
 occasion at the request of the company gave them some 
 account of her childhood and youth, and the history of 
 her religious development. These meetings afforded 
 her some of the pleasantest hours she passed at Soden. 
 
 Meanwhile her strength seemed to increase under 
 the course of treatment, but a bad symptom, which 
 appeared in the last few weeks, and doubtless showed 
 the commencement of internal decay, threatened to 
 deprive her of all that she had gained, and added to 
 the fatigue of the whole remaining journey. On the 
 17th of August she writes in her diary : 
 
 ' And here is the happy day of my departure arrived, 
 earlier than when I was in Hamburg, I had ventured 
 to hope, and I believe, that by God's blessing, the 
 treatment has been successful.' 
 
 At Frankfort she read her address of the 23rd of 
 May, to an assemblage of about sixty ladies and a few 
 gentlemen, and added some explanatory details in
 
 VISIT TO HEIDELBERG. 479 
 
 conversation. She then proceeded by the railroad to 
 Heidelberg, where she lodged in the house of a friend. 
 Her weakness, however, increased so much, from the 
 continuance of the disorder above alluded to, that she 
 was compelled to send for a physician, though she had 
 been treating herself as fully recovered. On the 22nd 
 of August, she writes : 
 
 ' I lay on my bed almost all the forenoon. At one 
 o'clock I got up and sat at table with the others, but 
 could only eat a plate of soup, after which I almost 
 fainted away, and was obliged to be helped to my room, 
 where I rested again upon the bed. Now at four o'clock 
 I was expected to attend a meeting of the Benevolent 
 Society of this place, where I was to give an address, or 
 hold a conference. At three o'clock it was still doubt- 
 ful whether I could possibly keep my engagement ; but 
 I knew that a good many ladies had been invited, and 
 were looking forward with pleasure to hearing rne, and 
 expected good to result from it, in the removal of 
 various small abuses in the Society here ; then, too, I 
 knew how greatly mental excitement helps me, at least 
 for the time, to overcome the feeling of physical weak- 
 ness. In short I resolved, with God's help, to make the 
 venture, and behold it succeeded. 
 
 ' Although it was not far from where I was to Pastor 
 
 H 's house, where the meeting was held, yet I went 
 
 in a carriage, and was immediately planted in the 
 corner of a sofa, where, till the people were assembled, I
 
 480 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 remained quite still, and avoided all conversation. About 
 eight or ten gentlemen, professors, clergymen, &c. made 
 their appearance, and then a great number of ladies. 
 I read over my address of the 23rd of May, I would 
 rather have given them something else, but for that I 
 had no strength, although it held out for the address, 
 which I was able to read entire without interruption, 
 and in a clear and audible voice. Then I should have 
 been glad to have had questions put to me, and many 
 points treated more in detail. Something of the kind 
 took place, but very meagrely, and I heard afterwards 
 that they were afraid of overtasking me. I cannot 
 deny, that I was glad when at about a quarter past 
 five I was told the carriage was there to take me home ; 
 but all the more I rejoiced that I had kept my appoint- 
 ment. This somewhat adventurous undertaking has 
 certainly done me no harm, for to-day, after a quiet 
 night, I feel quite another person.' 
 
 On the 23rd of August, she left Heidelberg somewhat 
 strengthened by the remedies her physician had pre- 
 scribed, and travelled home by way of Hanover. In 
 this latter place she spent an evening at the Friederi- 
 kenstift, with her friend the superintendent, Miss 
 Arenhold. 
 
 'The Friederikenstift,' she writes, * prospers as we could 
 wish. It has now about a hundred inmates, reckoning 
 the sick and well together ; of these twenty-four are sick 
 children ; they all call Ida " mother." My heart burned
 
 THE COMMERCIAL CRISIS. 481 
 
 within me. Had I known an institution of anything like 
 this extent twenty years ago, the post of such a house- 
 mother would have seemed to me still more enviable 
 than that which I now fill.' 
 
 The autumn of the year 1857 brought the terrible 
 commercial crisis, which, originating in America, ex- 
 tended over the whole of Northern Europe and beyond 
 it. In Hamburg it was a heavy visitation, and even 
 in England occasioned much distress. Miss Sieveking's 
 beloved brother was affected by it, and this was a heavy 
 blow to her heart, softened only by the proofs of uni- 
 versal sympathy and regret, which the fall of that 
 respected house called forth from the most various 
 quarters. She soon felt herself comforted and cheered 
 by this consciousness, and she expresses it in a letter to 
 her brother of the 23rd of November. ' The Lord,' she 
 writes, ' will not leave you without witness : as one 
 whom his mother comforteth, so will He comfort you, 
 and will turn your thoughts to that imperishable trea- 
 sure which is laid up for you above, and which is 
 doubtless receiving increase in this time of sore trial. 
 And besides this great fountain of comfort there are 
 others open to you, most especially in the love of your 
 children, and in the proofs of sympathy, respect and 
 confidence which are shown towards you on all sides.' 
 With a sorrowful smile she said on this occasion to her 
 acquaintance : ' Every misfortune has its good side : 
 
 I i
 
 482 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 now at least I shall not have to go to any more watering 
 places ! ' 
 
 In the same letter to her brother, she says of her own 
 health : * There is visible improvement in it. Although 
 the cough still continues, I feel stronger, and that is to 
 me the chief thing. I can take longer walks, and move 
 quicker and without difficulty, and my regular work 
 tries me less. My principal remedies are cold-sponging 
 in the morning, sleep, and nourishing diet. I still rise 
 at five o'clock, because I cannot sleep later : but when 
 I feel exhausted in the day, I lie down on the sofa and 
 generally go to sleep directly, and wake strengthened 
 after half an hour or an hour's rest.' 
 
 Although her state was now a very variable one, yet 
 on the whole the weakness gained ground, and the 
 struggle of her energetic spirit with the failing body 
 caused her many trying hours, while other agitating 
 circumstances were not wanting. Her brother's youngest 
 son had suffered from severe attacks of illness since his 
 early childhood, by which his intellectual growth had 
 been first hindered and then arrested, and subsequently 
 he had sunk into a state of both bodily and mental 
 helplessness. Harmless and gentle, only occasionally 
 feeling the mournfulness of his condition, the object of 
 the tenderest love and care, not only from his parents 
 and brothers, but also from a faithful nurse who had 
 lived with them for many years, he was now, in his thirty- 
 fourth year, attacked by serious illness, and Amelia
 
 DEATH OF A NEPHEW. 483 
 
 vrrites of it to her brother, in February 1858 : ' How 
 earnestly could I join with you in praying for poor 
 Alfred's release ! It is indeed a dark dispensation ! 
 When men are taken away in the bloom of their 
 strength and from a sphere of useful labour, it seems 
 less mysterious to me : no doubt they are summoned to 
 some higher work in God's kingdom, while the Lord 
 provides that their place on earth shall soon be filled 
 up; and even for the survivors there is something 
 ennobling in the very sorrow. But a state, in which so 
 many years pass by, apparently without any means of 
 furthering the spiritual life ! Well, we shall one day 
 see light even here, and perhaps there are wonders to 
 be disclosed of a life of the soul carried on altogether 
 in secret, like seed germinating under the snow.' 
 
 The young man died, and his aunt received the news 
 a few weeks after she had commenced the above letter, 
 which she had been prevented from finishing by another 
 death that touched her nearly. The excellent widow 
 of her cousin the Syndic, who had long been in delicate 
 health, yet not so as to excite anxiety, since her activity 
 and liveliness of mind, and her energetic and helpful 
 disposition, would not succumb to the weakness of her 
 body, sank under an attack of heart disease after a few 
 hours' illness, and the blank which this loss occasioned, 
 both within her immediate circle and beyond it, was 
 sensibly felt by Miss Sieveking. She proceeds in the 
 same letter : c And so it is, that the Lord has called 
 
 II 2
 
 484 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 away your dear Alfred from his dim earthly life. Oh, 
 that we could but cast one glance into the other world, 
 and see how the buds of his spiritual life are unfolding 
 in the pure air of heaven ! . . . Even his mother 
 and that faithful nurse will praise God for his sake that 
 He has called him away, although they must feel a 
 painful void ; and the treasure of love that was spent 
 upon him cannot have been lost, but must doubtless 
 have a mighty influence on the shaping of that spiritual 
 being, which will now develope itself in a new and 
 fairer form. Even on the 12th of March I did not finish 
 my letter ; alas ! it was the day of a grievous loss to 
 me, which might well throw other things into the back- 
 ground. I had dined with Caroline only two days 
 before, and I believe anyone who had seen us both 
 would most certainly have thought me the weaker of 
 the two, although she was suffering from many in- 
 firmities of body, and perhaps exerting more self-control 
 in straggling against them than I was. I have lost in 
 her a faithful and trustworthy friend, and there is 
 always something melancholy in the rapid thinning of 
 the ranks of our own generation.' The circumstances 
 touched on at the end of the letter are only alluded to 
 here on account of the characteristic way in which she 
 mentions them. She writes : ' And now I come to a 
 matter about which you have a little distressed me, my 
 dear good brother. "What, you thought it possible that 
 I would sink in an annuity the portion of capital which
 
 PECUXIAET POSITION. 485 
 
 I may save from the wreck of your fortune, in order 
 that I may not lose any of my usual comforts ? That I 
 should take the money, just now, when you can use it, 
 and also lessen your future inheritance? Never! I 
 had already arranged everything to meet the diminution 
 in my income, and indeed, I should have got on very 
 well, and without any great sacrifice. But now I shall 
 
 hardly have to relinquish anything, forM and P 
 
 in their really brotherly friendship, insist upon making 
 good the deficiency. I have had great doubts about 
 accepting this offer, and it seems to me now but half 
 right, that, while all around me are giving up so much, 
 I should go on living exactly in the old way. What 
 principally weighed with me for its acceptance was the 
 thought that, by doing so, I might take a little, if but 
 a little, portion of the weight off your heart, that you 
 would like best to know that I was losing nothing.' 
 
 And her life went on in its accustomed course of teach- 
 ing, association-work, and social intercourse ; and al- 
 though her state varied much, her weakness, on the whole, 
 increased, her gait became slow, and the exhaustion after 
 every exertion was visible ; she grew thinner and thinner, 
 and the walks to her poor people, and going up and 
 down stairs, became more and more difficult. For many 
 years she had suffered considerably from pain in the 
 back, but never spoke of it, and was not pleased when 
 any one observed that her movements betrayed it ; but 
 this suffering had latterly increased. She continued to
 
 486 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKISG. 
 
 do as much as she could, and only rejoiced to be spared 
 her visits to the baths. The constant feeling of weak- 
 ness and dependence was no small trial to her strong 
 independent nature, which was so unaccustomed to 
 receive help from others, and she sometimes complained 
 of a want o'f elasticity of spirit, which was naturally 
 connected with her state of physical weakness. Usually, 
 however, she made no complaints, but kept the even 
 balance of her soul, and retained her clear mental vision 
 and correct perception of both inward and outward 
 things. Many persons had requested her to write her 
 own life, and she explains, in a letter to her brother of 
 the 15th of August, that she has no time for such a 
 work at present, that she would indeed have found 
 pleasure in it, in the leisure of advanced age, but con- 
 sidering the uncertainty of her future, she had made 
 other arrangements, and then adds : * I hope you will 
 not impute it to vanity, that I lay some stress on this 
 being done ; on this point I feel really free from any 
 such weakness. I never set great store by earthly fame, 
 and when we feel as I do now, that there is but a step 
 between us and the grave, then, I fancy, we can hardly 
 fail to recognise the nothingness of all human praise.' 
 
 In the same letter she congratulates her brother on 
 the birth of a little grand-daughter, and remarks : 
 * You are especially pleased that it is a little girl ; I do 
 not know, whether in your place I should share this 
 feeling. I am always fonder of the boys than the girls,
 
 FAILURE OF HEALTH. 487 
 
 having generally no very profound respect for my own 
 sex, at least in the upper classes. But that I have no 
 desire to depart from the Divine order of things, and 
 make the girls boyish, I think the whole plan of educa- 
 tion which I have pursued now for nearly forty years 
 will bear witness : my pupils of various generations are 
 the best proofs of this. I often sigh over many of 
 them, because they so little fulfil my idea of what a 
 noble-minded woman should be, but I do not believe 
 that any one of them exhibits the phenomenon, so espe- 
 cially revolting to me, of a masculine woman.' 
 
 Amelia lived to enjoy what to her was a very great 
 happiness, the seeing her brother able to resume his 
 business under favourable circumstances. Her own 
 employments were gradually, but only very gradually, 
 being lessened or withdrawn from her by a Higher 
 Hand. In a letter of November 12, 1858, she tells her 
 brother : * In a certain way I have somewhat more 
 leisure just now than usual, as since the 1st of Novem- 
 ber I have been a prisoner to the house. My present 
 
 state, which I do not count, as E thinks, by months, 
 
 but rather now by years, is on the whole very tolerable. 
 The principal complaint is weakness, pain I have none, 
 my head keeps perfectly clear, my nights are in general 
 very good, and for the most part I thoroughly relish my 
 meals. Add to this such abundant proofs of love and 
 friendship, sympathising visits, and care for all my 
 bodily wants. . . . Lastly, not to leave the main
 
 488 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 point untouched, I feel in general quite fresh and 
 cheerful in spirit, with the exception of some particular 
 days and hours when the sense of bodily weakness has 
 been too oppressive. I do not deceive myself as to my 
 state; but it would be sad, if after so long a life, 
 wherein my Saviour has granted me so many blessed 
 opportunities of occupying my thoughts with things 
 above, I should not have learned to look death in the 
 face without anxious fear. You must not think that I 
 have given up all hope of longer life ; it has not come to 
 that yet, and I only try quietly to leave both life and 
 death in the Lord's hand. Once I have been obliged 
 to send away my little scholars, and twice to give up 
 my Bible class. Otherwise my home work goes on 
 without hindrance, and this is to me an absolute neces- 
 sity, so long as my strength holds out at all; my 
 physician sees this in the same light, and gives me his 
 sanction. The meetings of the Association are also 
 held at my house, and the poor come to me ; it is not 
 indeed the same thing as if I went to their own houses, 
 but still it is something. During these few days we 
 are offering our goods for sale, and my Twenty-sixth 
 Report figures among them. Several people have 
 already told me that it bears no signs of diminished 
 mental power.' 
 
 This indeed it did not, any more than her teaching, 
 for which she always rallied her best powers, and if her 
 suffering looks, or a sudden attack of weakness and
 
 FAILURE OF HEALTH. 489 
 
 languor during the lessons, betrayed her condition to 
 the children, the occasional disadvantage of such an in- 
 terruption was far overbalanced by the advantage of 
 such an example from their beloved teacher of the 
 power of the will and the sovereignty of the spirit, and 
 the salutary memory of that example will ever remain 
 indelibly impressed on the hearts of her scholars.
 
 FOUETH PART. 
 
 LAST SICKNESS AND DEATH. 
 1858 1859. 
 
 When Faith and Love, which parted from thee never, 
 
 Had ripened thy just soul to dwell with God, 
 
 Meekly thou didst resign this earthly load 
 
 Of death, called life, which us from life doth sever. 
 
 Thy works and alms and all thy good endeavour 
 
 Staid not behind, nor in the grave were trod, 
 
 But as Faith pointed with her golden rod, 
 
 Followed thee up to joy and hliss for ever. 
 
 Love led them on, and Faith, who knew them best, 
 
 Thy handmaids, clad them o'er with purple beams 
 
 And azure wings, that up they flew so drest, 
 
 And spake the truth of thee on glorious themes 
 
 Before the Judge, who thenceforth bid thee rest, 
 
 And take thy fill of pure immortal streams. 
 
 MLLTON.
 
 493 
 
 CHAPTER XXXI. 
 
 1858-1859. 
 
 LAST BIBLE LESSONS ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE FITTURE 
 
 OF THE ASSOCIATION FAREWELL NOTES OF A PUPIL 
 
 CONCERNING HER LAST DAYS DEATH AND BURIAL. 
 
 A MELIA SIEVEKIXCf received the Holy Com- 
 d- munion for the last time in church on the 26th of 
 October, 1858, and after the 1st of November she never 
 again left the house. At the end of December she gave 
 her last Bible lesson to her former scholars, adding a 
 prayer which concluded with Lavater's hymn, ' Jesus 
 live and grow in me.' 
 
 On the 1st of January, 1859, she felt so ill, that she 
 took leave of her servants with the words, s We . part 
 with tears, but we shall meet again with smiles.' 
 But her strength returned somewhat during the 
 following days. On the 7th she assembled the 
 ladies of the Association around her, and laid be- 
 fore them a clear and well thought out plan for the 
 future management of the Society. After her death, 
 she wished her work to be divided among five as- 
 sistants, but that one of them should be at the head
 
 494 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 of the whole organization, in order to secure internal 
 unity, and that the Society might have a recognised 
 representative in its dealings with other bodies. She 
 then spoke of her death with a calmness approaching to 
 indifference : when the secretary enquired whether her 
 proposals, which had been unanimously accepted, should 
 not be written down and kept back until they should 
 be wanted, she replied, * No, she wished them to be 
 entered at once,' adding ' should it be God's will that I 
 should live longer, I should incorporate these resolutions 
 in my next report, as they are of general interest.' 
 
 From the middle of January a disposition to fever 
 set in, which brought on oppression of the breath and 
 restlessness; and the time when it would be necessary 
 to give up her most cherished employment, the teach- 
 ing of the children, for which she had reserved her last 
 strength, drew nearer and nearer. It cost her probably 
 the hardest struggle to take this resolve, since it was 
 the severing of her strongest tie to earth ! At last she 
 resigned this charge also into the hands of her Grod. 
 On the 5th of March she gave the farewell lesson to her 
 children, and on being asked whether she had laid aside 
 her teaching only for a time, she answered very dis- 
 tinctly, ' No, it was for ever; she had said so to the chil- 
 dren themselves, and that because her physician had 
 assured her that her departure was near at hand. 
 Without this certainty it might have been with her as 
 with the man who, thinking he had only a few years to
 
 GIVES UP HER SCHOOL. 495 
 
 live, gave away the largest part of his fortune and 
 came to want, as he lived longer than he expected.' 
 
 She had the happiness of leaving her dear little pupils 
 united under the teaching of another. ' I can die much 
 more easily,' said she, * since I have been able to arrange 
 for the management of the Association, and the education 
 of my children so entirely as I could wish.' The 
 clergyman who, at her request, had undertaken the 
 religious instruction of the children, paid her a visit 
 on the 14th of March, in order to speak to her on the 
 subject. He had expected to find a dying person, and 
 was not a little astonished, when he entered her bright 
 sunny room, and she raising herself on the sofa, greeted 
 him kindly, and then conversed for a full half-hour, 
 describing clearly the characteristics of each individual 
 child. 
 
 Now that this care also was removed, she made use 
 of the moments of freedom which her illness permitted 
 to put the finishing touches to the arrangement of her 
 things and her papers, in which she proceeded with her 
 usual conscientious carefulness ; she left remembrances 
 of greater or less value to her friends and pupils, her 
 servants, and many of her poor people : she received 
 visits and interested herself in all that her visitors told 
 her ; read and listened to reading, which last she had 
 never done before, as, not being accustomed to be a 
 listener, she disliked it : her little pupils came to see her 
 constantly, and a dog, whose company she had allowed
 
 406 LIFE OF AMELIA WTLHELMINA SIE VEXING. 
 
 herself for the last few years, was almost always beside 
 her. She lay on her sofa or sat at the table in a clean 
 neat dress, and occasionally dozed when overcome by 
 weariness. Her conversation with friends and acquaint- 
 ance generally turned on the interests of active life, as in 
 earlier days. She said little of her approaching death, 
 her own inward experience, or the state of her mind, 
 but, on the contrary, visibly avoided anything that 
 would have affected her too much ; yet she took leave 
 quite naturally of all whom she did not expect to see 
 again. She was fully prepared whether for life or death, 
 but remarked, that she would counsel everyone not to 
 put off their preparation to the last, when bodily in- 
 firmities commonly allow no free uplifting of the mind, 
 as she herself had experienced. She continued to vary 
 very much, and the streogth, which often failed entirely, 
 would still return occasionally for a day. ' To-day, 
 wrote a friend on the 18th of March, ' Amelia was very 
 comfortable. She lay tranquilly on the sofa in her 
 cheerful sunny room, enjoying the sight of a number 
 of blooming plants and cut flowers, which had been 
 sent her from every quarter one cannot fancy a 
 pleasanter sick room. She told me to-day how much 
 she enjoyed feeling better, because the physician had 
 assured her, that it did not make it possible that she 
 should return to life, but that all might at any time 
 be quickly over. For a prolonged life did not seem 
 to her at all to be desired now.'
 
 LAST LETTER TO HER BROTHER. 497 
 
 At length she succeeded in accomplishing a last letter 
 to her brother. It was written in fragments, at internals 
 of several days. In this letter her state of mind is most 
 distinctly expressed, and we recognise in the very pre- 
 sence of death the same calmness, sobriety, clearness 
 and simplicity, which formed the leading traits of her 
 character through life ; while we are led to acknowledge 
 that only those can die thus who have found that firm 
 reliance which no storm can shake. The very nearness 
 of death sheds a glorifying light upon these simple words 
 of farewell, whose plainness and clearness are more 
 touching than perhaps the expression of the most ex- 
 alted mood could be. They prove also, what she her- 
 self often remarked, that she did not feel that eager 
 and joyful anticipation which affords to many pious 
 persons a foretaste of heaven in the thought that they 
 are soon going home to be with the Lord ; but if she 
 did not exult, neither did she lose courage, but pre- 
 served throughout, in this last school of resignation, 
 the trustful peace and collectedness of a soul renewed 
 in Christ. 
 
 The following trait is characteristic. Her nephew, 
 Dr. Sieveking in London, had wished that her physician 
 should examine the state of the lungs by the method 
 now usually practised, and send him a report. Dr. Von 
 During told her of this request. She consented to it, 
 under condition that he would promise first to inform 
 her of the result. The examination took place, and the 
 
 K K
 
 498 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKTNQ. 
 
 doctor declared that he found things even worse than 
 he expected ; one half of the lungs was entirely gone, 
 and only so much left of the other as that, with entire 
 silence and perfect rest, her life might perhaps be pro- 
 longed for a short time. Miss Sieveking thanked him, 
 but remarked, i that could not be : as long as she was 
 still alive, she must behave like a living person, and see 
 and speak to her friends.' 
 
 From that last letter, finished on the 8th of March, 
 we are permitted to communicate the following ex- 
 tracts : 
 
 * My dear Brother and Sister I have long intended 
 to give you some account of myself: particularly after 
 your last letter, the wish pressed on me not to leave 
 long unacknowledged such an outpouring of brotherly 
 love as had done my heart good ; but time and strength 
 always failed. That letter came to me through dear 
 Theresa, and from her I heard that you were somewhat 
 apprehensive that it might over-excite me. I must own, 
 that after this preface I was a little afraid to open the 
 letter. I expected a sermon after your old fashion, con- 
 taining your peremptory desire that I should now also 
 give up entirely all my work for the children. Had the 
 contents of the letter been of this kind, it might have 
 excited me, as I could only have given a decided refusal. 
 So I was, indeed, very pleasantly surprised to find nothing 
 of the kind, only the expression of the tenderest affection. 
 I should have missed a great delight had it been kept
 
 LA.ST LETTER TO HER BROTHER. 499 
 
 back from me. And what was there to excite me ? 
 Surely not the allusion to my probable departure ? It 
 would be sad indeed if that which the Lord has for so 
 many months placed close before my eyes could still fill 
 me with anxious fear. I put off answering your letter, 
 however, until my strength should have risen a little 
 beyond the amount that was necessary for the children's 
 teaching ; or else till such time as it should have failed 
 for that, which would give me a little leisure for other 
 employments. You have already heard that it has 
 come, alas ! to the latter alternative. On Thursday 
 the 24th of February I gave the children their lessons 
 for the last time, I think I may say with undiminished 
 mental vigour. During their play hour they romped 
 about me unchecked, as I have allowed them to do 
 throughout my illness. As I did not suffer at all in 
 nerves, and my head is not the least affected, this 
 cost me no sacrifice, and even on that day I could enjoy 
 it. But the day after (Friday the 25th of February) I 
 felt so languid, that it seemed impossible to prepare 
 the lessons ; and on Saturday morning, when I expected 
 the children again, it was clear to me as soon as I awoke, 
 that the Lord had set a bound to this occupation which 
 has become so infinitely dear to me. Then I resigned 
 it into the hands of my Saviour, and now that this 
 surrender is really necessary, He has made it unexpect- 
 edly easy to me. He has granted me a great happiness 
 in this respect. I hope that the little class in which I 
 
 K K 2
 
 500 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEYEKIXG. 
 
 have taken such delight during these last few years will 
 still be kept together ; the parents of the children have 
 come into all my proposed arrangements for this pur- 
 pose in the most friendly manner. So that here, too, my 
 house is now set in order, as it was before with regard to 
 the Association. When the Council meeting was held in 
 January, God gave me strength to lay before the mem- 
 bers present a clear statement of my wishes, and I had 
 the comfort of finding the fullest agreement with them. 
 The Association will be divided into five sections, but a 
 certain central superintendence will be maintained. . . 
 .* Whatever love and friendship can devise to ease my 
 condition, is provided for me on all hands. It is under- 
 stood that I value the hearty sympathy shown in all 
 this more than the material proofs of it, more even 
 than the oysters and champagne they send me ! I am 
 nursed like a princess nay, better, doubtless, than many 
 princesses, who miss the warm kindness of the heart in 
 all the service paid to them as a duty, while I find it 
 even in my hired nurse. My good Mrs. S. indeed, who 
 is so heartily attached to me, is still so helpless from 
 rheumatism in both hands and feet, that she can 
 scarcely do anything for me. So I am obliged to have 
 a special attendant besides, as my weakness makes me 
 pretty nearly helpless. I chose one of my poor women, 
 and now I can really recommend her as a pattern nurse, 
 she is so neat and orderly, so willing and attentive, with- 
 out talking much ; in short, she suits me exactly. Thank
 
 LAST LETTER TO HER BROTHER. 501 
 
 God ! I am still able to get up. I would not willingly 
 give up doing so, partly because I fear the suffering 
 that often results from lying too long in bed. My sick- 
 room that is, my favourite sitting and school-room 
 is most particularly comfortable. The pleasant sun 
 shines right into it, and I am constantly surrounded there 
 with a perfect springtime of flowers. As soon as one 
 plant or bouquet has faded, the kindness of my friends 
 is sure to have provided something fresh. And now, 
 not to forget any of the faithful friends by whom I am 
 surrounded, I must make mention of my little four-footed 
 companion, Prince, who keeps me company so constantly 
 in my sick-room that at times nothing will tempt him to 
 leave it ; and then he looks at me with such intelligent 
 eyes, and so sorrowfully withal, as if he knew we should 
 not be long together. I need scarcely tell you that I 
 am not at all lonely, but have many pleasant visits 
 paid me, which are only abridged on account of my 
 languor. If I chose, I might have a young friend con- 
 stantly with me ; I know several who have said that 
 they would gladly come ; but you know that occasional 
 solitude is more necessary to me than constant society. 
 
 ' By this account, you will see, dearest brother and 
 sister, that anyone who has so many alleviations in a 
 time of sickness as I have has no right to boast of his 
 patience ; particularly if, like me, he do not suffer great 
 and continued pain, which I consider, as you do, to be 
 one of the severest trials to which we are subject, and
 
 502 LIFE OF AMELIA TVILHELMINA SIEVEEING. 
 
 one which, knowing my own weakness, I desire to thank 
 God for sparing me. Many of my friends give me 
 much more credit than I deserve, at this time of my 
 illness. They wonder at the calmness with which I 
 make arrangements for matters after my death, as if 
 they concerned only a somewhat longer journey than 
 usual ; but if they think this is simply the result of the 
 faith by which I live, they are certainly mistaken. The 
 natural calmness and clearness of my temperament is to 
 be taken into consideration, as well as the exhaustion 
 which to a certain degree blunts the keen edge of feel- 
 ing at present, so that in much of the composure which 
 is supposed to be the fruit of faith there may be a strong 
 admixture of apathy. 
 
 ' The tie which bound me most closely to earth is now 
 loosened. Yesterday (on Saturday the 5th of March) I 
 finally dismissed my children, and took leave of them. 
 I talked to them for about half an hour on the subject of 
 St Peter's words (2 Pet, 1, 10-17).* The children were 
 naturally much affected, and I myself was once or twice 
 so overcome by emotion that I was obliged to make 
 a little pause. Yet I hope I succeeded in my endeavour, 
 which was to put before them death and our departure 
 from earth, under the happiest possible aspect, 
 
 * ' Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir 
 you up by putting you in remembrance, knowing that shortly I must 
 put off this my tabernacle, even as our Lord Jesus Christ hath showed 
 me,' &c.
 
 LAST LETTEK TO HER BROTHER. f,03 
 
 ' But when the moment of departure will really come 
 no one can foretel with any certainty. Perhaps it will 
 seem strange to you, at first sight, if I say, that I could 
 almost wish that I might be gone home before you arrive 
 here that is, I feel that the thought that I had entered 
 into my rest would less overcloud the pleasure of your 
 visit here than the knowledge that I was lying sick 
 and weak, and by my very weakness disabled from en- 
 joying your conversation as I should wish. Well, we 
 will leave this entirely to God. Only I would ask you 
 not to hasten your journey in the hope of seeing me. 
 
 ' There, I have written nearly six pages, of course 
 piece by piece, and have hardly spoken of anything but 
 my own illness. That is what makes sickness so tedious, 
 that it is always a temptation to people to dwell un- 
 reasonably upon their bodily condition. It is not easy 
 to impart anything interesting from a sick-room, and 
 yet, after all, I believe that it will be not unwelcome to 
 you to have a faithful picture of my invalid condition, 
 in which the mercy of Grod is displayed in so many 
 ways. But now I must hasten to a close. You will 
 see by this last page that the power of my hand begins 
 to fail, and my writing becomes unsteady ; so I will 
 only say how much interest I take in everything you 
 tell me, and how greatly I rejoice in the fair prospects 
 which are again brightening your path in life. . . 
 
 ' Tell my dear, dear Dr. Edward,* with my affectionate 
 
 * Her eldest nephew.
 
 504 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 love, that I thank him heartily for his last letter. I had 
 gone on thinking that I might answer him, but now I 
 feel that I may not be able. But tell him that his 
 friendship is one of the brightest spots in my retrospect 
 of life, rich as it is in happiness.' Then follow messages 
 to all her other dear friends and acquaintance in Eng- 
 land, and she continues : ' And now, my dear precious 
 brother and sister, I must for to-day bid you farewell. 
 Whether this " to-day " includes all the rest of our time 
 upon earth, who can say ? It is enough for me that 
 the tie which binds us has been full of richest blessing 
 from the Lord, and now I will only express my thanks 
 thousand, thousand thanks for all the proofs of your 
 brotherly affection which you have given me in so long 
 a course of years. God be with you ! and pray for me, 
 that in the last solemn hour He may make me feel that 
 He is of a truth very near to me. 
 
 ' Yours to eternity in faithful love.' 
 
 And the last solemn hour was drawing closer and 
 closer. Her physician whom she heartily esteemed, 
 and in whom she placed unusual confidence because he 
 entered into her way of thinking, and did not require 
 from her what it was scarcely in her power to concede 
 had treated her during her whole illness with great 
 attention and care, and visited her at all hours of the 
 day. She repeatedly pressed him to tell her how long 
 she had yet to live ; and since, each time, her great
 
 INCREASING WEAKNESS. 505 
 
 weakness and all the signs of approaching dissolution 
 led him to speak of the end as near, and all her earthly 
 tasks were now finished and laid by, she felt she had 
 nothing to do but to wait ; and this trial, perhaps the 
 hardest of all to one of her temperament, and which all 
 her friends had dreaded for her, she endured with per- 
 fect resignation to the will of her Grod. Restless nights 
 came on, with oppressed breathing and fever ; she was 
 compelled to keep her bed, and to have some one to sit 
 up with her, at first the nurse only, and then some of 
 her friends a necessity to which by degrees she yielded. 
 As the physician thought that the hope of a peaceful 
 end depended on her having the greatest possible quiet, 
 she received scarcely any visits, but had still a kindly 
 word for everyone that came and went. e l can do 
 nothing now but wait,' she said once : then to another 
 friend, ' We shall see each other again above ! ' 
 
 And now, in presenting the picture of her latter days, 
 we shall follow the memoranda of a young pupil, who 
 was much with her towards the last, and of another 
 older friend : by which we shall see that she was not 
 altogether spared the discipline of suffering : 'On the 
 12th of March, Amelia received me with the remark, 
 " That as the doctor had told her she could only live a 
 few days longer, she must make haste to set in order 
 what was needful, before it was too late." I had to 
 read to her a good deal through the day, from Besser's 
 Gospel of St. Luke, as his homiletic commentary suited
 
 5C6 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKIXG. 
 
 her particularly. In the afternoon she was visibly 
 weaker, and asked to have read to her Klopstock's lines 
 on 'Approaching Death," and "The Consecration of 
 a Dying Person." In the evening she was very much 
 tried with high fever, and asked for the hymn " Yes, 
 there remaineth yet a rest," but fell asleep during the 
 reading. 
 
 ' The 1 6th I found Amelia comparatively comfortable. 
 She spoke of Gellert's Spiritual Songs, many of which 
 she liked much, and said she did not approve of their 
 being thought so little of now-a-days. Nor did she 
 think it right that none but the old standard hymns 
 should be admitted into the hymn-books, as people's 
 wants are so various, and many are repelled by the 
 language, and by forms of expression so different from 
 our own. 
 
 ' On the morning of the 19th her voice became very 
 hoarse, and her weariness and longing for death grew 
 constantly greater. In the evening I found her de- 
 cidedly worse, and she herself, after giving several 
 orders and making some arrangements, said good-night 
 to all, that she might lie down "for her death-sleep." 
 
 ' On the 20th, she first remained entirely in bed. 
 She bid me read Psalms 27, 14, and the hymn "Patient 
 waiting is the school." 
 
 ' 21st. Earnest longing for death. In the evening 
 she fell into a deep, deathlike sleep, which lasted four 
 hours; the cough awakened her. She felt unusually
 
 APPROACHING END. 507 
 
 easy, and said more than once, " Why must I wake up ? 
 I was sleeping beautifully." When the physician asked 
 if she had any pain, she answered cheerfully, "No, 
 none at all." She said frequently "Good night," and 
 sent her love to all. When I repeatedly lifted her on 
 account of her cough, she said, " This is the last service 
 of love," and after a while, " Am I cold yet ? Well, 
 that will come." 
 
 ' Tuesday the 22nd, she said to me as she gave me 
 her hand, " The Lord makes it easy to me very easy!" 
 Then she closed her eyes, and lay with her hands 
 folded the picture of peace. 
 
 * On the 23rd, hearing the servant below give the 
 answer at the door that the night had been very bad, 
 she sent down word that he should say, she was hourly 
 expecting her end. The day before she asked if any 
 one was with me in the room, and on my replying in 
 the negative she said, " You must not think that I am 
 wandering." She desired me to read the hymn, " Then, 
 oh then, how will it be with me." A short time after I 
 was in the next room, and heard her speak. I went in 
 and found her repeating the last verse, and especially 
 the last line, "Xo more an earthly creature." ' 
 
 ' On the 23rd,' writes another friend, ' I went early to 
 Amelia, and told her that we would send a very good 
 nurse for the night, that her own might go to bed : 
 she thought however that, as it was certainly the last 
 night, Mrs. D. would be able to sit up, if she slept in.
 
 503 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 the evening. As I was going away she called me back, 
 and gave me some messages respecting the Association. 
 I begged her not to make herself uneasy about any- 
 thing, assured her that we would arrange everything as 
 she wished, and always consider what she had done in 
 similar cases, so as to act in her spirit. She gave me a 
 look of inexpressible kindness, and said " Thank you ! 
 thank you!" At night I remained near her, without 
 her being aware of it, as I feared the nurse might not 
 be able to keep awake. Some nights she had latterly 
 consented that a lady should watch as well as the nurse, 
 and even seemed pleased at it. She called me, thanked 
 me for having stayed, and after a quieter night I read to 
 her in the morning the 17th chapter of St. John. When I 
 had finished she repeated : " Thank you ! thank you ! " 
 
 ' On the 25th,' continues her pupil, ' she was much 
 more languid, scarcely spoke, but lay with folded hands 
 in a half sleep. At four in the afternoon she asked what 
 time it was, and said, " My Grod ! my God ! so late, and I 
 am still here ! " She would see no one, not even the 
 clergyman ; she only wanted " to go to sleep." At noon 
 there came on such distressing oppression of the breath, 
 that she craved to be taken out of bed : in the evening 
 she desired the greatest quiet in the nxt room. 
 
 'On the 26th, after a terribly unquiet night, the 
 oppression became worse and worse. " Stay by me," she 
 said to the nurse. Later in the day she asked how 
 many days she had been in bed, and counted them
 
 APPROACHING END. 509 
 
 herself upon her fingers. She could no longer rightly 
 distinguish the time of day. 
 
 ' On the 27th she suddenly asked for a hymn. I read 
 " Patient waiting is the school," and then to our surprise 
 we had to give her champagne, which she had not 
 taken for weeks. Then came on great restlessness. 
 
 '28th. The night had been very restless: and she 
 had asked for all sorts of tisanes and preserves. Towards 
 morning the oppression had risen to such a height, that 
 she said herself no one could imagine her state who had 
 not felt it, it was more terrible than the most violent 
 pain. She said to me, " I cannot understand how I am 
 still alive ; " and again, " Only have patience : do not be 
 vexed with me." In the evening she replied to my 
 enquiry how she was : " Oh, better than I was this 
 morning ; then it was hardly endurable, but one still 
 knows it is the Lord, and He will not try us beyond 
 what we are able to bear." 
 
 '29th. After a quiet night we were able to leave 
 her for an hour in the morning, to be present at the 
 children's first lesson. When we returned she asked 
 entirely of her own accord, for we had not mentioned 
 the subject to her for a fortnight, whether, this being the 
 29th, it was not the day for the class to begin again? 
 And then we had to tell her every particular about it. I 
 read by her desire, " Abide among us with Thy grace.' 
 
 '31st. She desired me to tell her again all about 
 the children.
 
 MO LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIETEKIXG. 
 
 * April the 1st (her dying day). After midnight the 
 phlegm began to distress her, as she had no longer 
 strength to cough. The hands swelled, and became 
 blue ; we thought the end was really approaching. 
 Once she sighed out "How hard! how long!" The 
 oppression on her breath became more extreme : we 
 had to press our hands firmly on her chest, and con- 
 tinually lift her up. When the friend came who was 
 to be with her for the night, she asked for the hymn, 
 "Out of the depths I cry to Thee." During the 
 reading she clasped her hands. I heard her sigh, " Ah, 
 Lord I can no more!" When I came to her bedside 
 she said, " Pray God that it may soon be over ! " Later 
 she cried out, " Ah ! it is hard work, dying ! " After the 
 reading of the Psalm, " Like as the hart panteth after 
 the water brooks," she folded her hands and said, " My 
 Lord ! my Lord ! " Then the struggle was over. About 
 eleven o'clock the physician was sent for : when he came, 
 be found a corpse : at the last she fell asleep quite 
 peacefully.' 
 
 For the next few days there lay the inanimate body 
 strewn with flowers, an expression of the deepest peace 
 on the wasted features and the clear brow. In order to 
 combat the prejudice of the poor people against a 
 pauper funeral, she had desired, both by word of mouth 
 and in writing, to be buried as a poor person, and had 
 often declared that she held it matter of perfect in- 
 difference how the dead body was laid in the grave, as
 
 DEATH AND FUNERAL. 511 
 
 it was in her sight only a worn-out and useless garment, 
 deprived of all its value. 
 
 Out of respect to her wishes, the funeral was arranged 
 as follows. On Tuesday the 5th of April, in the early 
 morning before the opening of the gates, the plain 
 coffin, made of four black boards, was carried by the 
 two appointed pauper-bearers, on the pauper's bier, to 
 the churchyard of the parish of Ham and Horn, and 
 set down on the church-path. Here it was soon 
 covered with flowers and garlands, and a troop of 
 friends, rich and poor, streamed out of the city and the 
 suburbs. Pastor Eautenberg, her own friend for so many 
 years, and once the friend of her brother Grustavus, 
 spoke some impressive words, connecting them with 
 the beautiful passage in Jeremiah, ' I have loved thee 
 with an everlasting love, therefore with loving-kindness 
 have I drawn thee,' a passage which had been especially 
 precious to her who was gone; through her whole 
 life she had proved its truth. Then eight brethren of 
 the Eauhe Haus, preceded by a choir of children and 
 other members of the institution, singing, * My life is 
 hid in Jesus,' carried the coffin to the vault of the 
 Sieveking family, and all present joined in the pro- 
 cession. The lightly clouded morning sky of early 
 spring was spread above the fir-trees of the church- 
 yard, and a few birds were twittering their morning 
 song. The minister of the parish, Pastor Mumssen 
 (who was soon to follow his friend), read the history of
 
 512 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMIXA SIEYEKING. 
 
 Tabitha beside the grave, and uttered the concluding 
 prayer and blessing. Then as if from the depths arose 
 the chant of the brethren and the children, and amidst 
 the sounds of the Doxology and the Apostolic bene- 
 diction, the coffin was lowered into its bed. Friends 
 and acquaintance, old and young, members of the 
 Association, pupils and poor people, crowded round the 
 stone, to cast one more look after her who had so long 
 pursued her quiet course and work among them, and 
 to strew more flowers upon the coffin. It was a deeply 
 moving, yet elevating solemnity ; all were weeping, and 
 yet the mood of all seemed almost joyful amidst their 
 sorrow. Death and life were seen in closest union 
 here, but death was swallowed up in victory ; for every 
 one felt, that the good and faithful servant had entered 
 into the joy of her Lord.
 
 513 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 SELDOM does the image of a character come out 
 more clearly and distinctly than in the life and 
 letters of Amelia Sieveking : few persons are so exactly 
 what they profess to be, without addition or reserve; 
 and, so far as it can be said of any human being, it may 
 certainly be said of her, that her life was one with her 
 words, she was always consistent and true to herself. 
 It is precisely this unadorned truth and openness, and 
 the genuine Christian humility which ever gave the 
 glory to Grod ; her severity towards herself, combined 
 such great candour and mildness in judging of others ; 
 which make it unnecessary, and indeed almost im- 
 possible, to recal with blame any of her weaknesses 
 or deficiencies : whatever could be said of them, she 
 herself has expressed with far more severity of censure 
 than could be justified in a biographer. 
 
 A Christian in the fullest sense of the word, she 
 desired and strove after nothing simply of her own will ; 
 she trusted little to her own impulses, punished in 
 herself every movement of sin, and learned more and 
 more to feel herself a mere instrument in the hand of 
 
 L L
 
 514 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 her God, which He Himself would make fit and skilful 
 in His service. She was originally of an active, 
 truthful, and diligent nature, possessed much character, 
 and a strong sense of justice and reasonableness, 
 together with an urgent desire to be helpful and useful. 
 An unusual love of learning and of teaching seemed to 
 be born with her; the talent for organization de- 
 veloped itself later from her clear understanding, her 
 moderation, and the order and collected unity of her 
 mental powers. All these gifts and faculties might 
 have turned to evil purpose : she had a great deal of 
 ambition, was not without vanity, and had a strong 
 inclination to carry out her own opinion and will, 
 against the will and the opinions of others. She was 
 neither tender nor yielding by nature, but impetuous 
 and impatient, appeared at times sharp and abrupt, 
 and wanted those graces of sentiment and understanding 
 which often cover over so many faults and weaknesses, 
 and have such irresistible power over the hearts of 
 others. On these accounts it may well be questioned 
 whether she could be always agreeable or acceptable to 
 those around her, or under whose charge she was, in 
 childhood and early youth. But she soon discovered 
 the defect, and sought the cause of it, not in her cir- 
 cumstances, but in herself; she sought honestly, looked 
 for help, advanced step by step, and at length made 
 her way to a full conviction ; and when she had once 
 found her Saviour and Deliverer, she clung to Him by
 
 CHARACTER OF MISS SIEVEKING. 515 
 
 faith, and never let go her hold ; by constant com- 
 munion with the highest Personal Love, she was made 
 worthy to receive of His Spirit, He prepared her for 
 Himself, and then manifested Himself in blessing 
 through her work. Isolated as she was, without 
 means, without influence, without brilliant or attrac- 
 tive gifts, at war with many prejudices and errors, 
 the Lord granted her success, and she attained, not 
 exactly what she had dreamed of and desired, but 
 something higher, which He had appointed for her. 
 And since the consciousness that we are fulfilling our 
 proper task in life may be deemed the most envi- 
 able of all happiness, her life amidst all its labour 
 and toil was yet a life of joy, of pure, deep, in- 
 wardly felt, and thankfully acknowledged happiness ! 
 
 Amelia Sieveking, as we have seen, was not in any 
 respect a genius, neither do her books evince it ; yet 
 they bear the impress of her own character, and cannot 
 fail to exercise some of her helpful, enlightening, and 
 strengthening influence, especially upon young persons 
 of her own sex. That they are not without effect on 
 more mature minds, is shown by the judgment of 
 many distinguished men and theologians : thus, for 
 instance, Harms of Kiel, after reading her works on 
 Holy Scripture, remarked, that she was the first woman 
 whom he could ever admit to have a vocation for 
 writing. Her practical turn of mind brought the study 
 of Holy Scripture to bear upon actual life, and illus- 
 
 L L 2
 
 516 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 trated the connection between them by the results of 
 experience. So was it also with her teaching, which 
 has certainly borne, and still bears fruit, though the 
 results of it cannot be counted and measured. Several 
 generations in Hamburg were successively moulded by 
 her, and in her intercourse with the rising generation 
 she continued ever young and fresh, her own spirit 
 seeming to be renewed with each fresh course of in- 
 struction. She loved to give the children all possible 
 freedom, and loud and frolicksome was the merry life 
 that surrounded 'Tante Malcben ' in play-hours, and to 
 some people might seem almost too little under control. 
 In this point she leaned rather to over-indulgence than 
 severity, and often, when she intended to reprove, she 
 could scarcely repress a smile. Her own childlike 
 nature often played her false : but whatever she might 
 lose by it in fear, and the authority that proceeds from 
 fear, she gained in love and confidence, and the needful 
 seriousness was never wanting in the actual lesson-time. 
 An affecting child's story, read aloud by herself, would 
 move her to tears ; and when she, half-ashamed of her- 
 self, held the book still closer than usual before her eyes 
 (she was always shortsighted), the mischievous children 
 around her soon knew the reason why, and did not 
 conceal their discovery. Miss Sieveking's mode of 
 instruction may be gathered from her books, which 
 reproduce her Bible lessons. Her great endeavour was 
 to make her teaching a living thing, to avoid every
 
 METHOD OF INSTEUCTION. 517 
 
 kind of pedantry and routine, and at the same time to 
 accustom the children to use their own minds and to 
 regulate and define their ideas. Then she tried to 
 restrain the little girls' love of talking, and to teach 
 them to concentrate their thoughts and attention ; and, 
 lastly, to awaken in them a taste for really useful 
 occupations, and for the toils and sacrifices of minis- 
 tering love, even beyond the limits of home. This 
 great task of her life lay at the foundation of her whole 
 method of instruction, and she also carried it into all 
 the relations which she formed with grown-up persons 
 of her own sex. Indeed, as is so apt to be the case with 
 anyone whose life is under the dominion of one idea, 
 the power and blessing of which he has experienced in 
 himself, she would fain have made it the rule for every 
 one else. She certainly did not err in believing that 
 most women underrate their own powers, and that 
 besides attending to the duties most immediately under 
 their hand, they would do well to develope a different 
 kind of activity, in schools, charitable societies, &c. ; and 
 thus might obtain generally a wider mental horizon. 
 Yet there are many shades of duty, which the conjugal 
 and filial relations bring with them, which cannot 
 always be clearly expressed in words, and of which 
 Amelia Sieveking, owing to the peculiar development 
 of her own mind and the outward circumstances of her 
 position, knew nothing. Her mode of action in such 
 cases does not command full confidence. She went
 
 518 LIFE OF AMELIA WILIIELMINA SIEYEKING. 
 
 somewhat too directly to work ; her self-education had 
 been what some may call too logical and masculine, 
 to enable her to perceive and take into account all 
 that network of delicate and fragile threads which 
 are interwoven with the hearts and destinies of so 
 many women. Though possessing a profound know- 
 ledge of the human heart in general, she wanted 
 that keen sense of individual character which is 
 often as direct a gift, and as independent of our 
 own will, as genius itself, and therefore she failed to 
 comprehend the inconsistencies which often constitute 
 a large part of the character, and are as inseparable 
 from its strength as from its weakness ; and on this 
 point, in spite of her usual tolerance and reasonable- 
 ness, she might appear at times somewhat one-sided. 
 She was occasionally moved to impatience by contra- 
 diction or misunderstanding of her favourite ideas, 
 which were all the more deeply rooted, as they had 
 originated in her own mind, and had grown to be 
 identified with her whole character. With this ex- 
 ception, in her intercourse with others she was simple, 
 kindly, sympathising, and always the same, with a 
 ready sense of wit and humour, and inclined at any 
 time for a merry laugh, though the keynote of her 
 mind was thoughtful earnestness. 
 
 She was of the middle height, rather under than above 
 it, sparely made, quick in her movements and very short- 
 sighted. Her well-known figure was easily recognised
 
 DRESS AND APPEARANCE. 519 
 
 from a distance as she walked about the streets, gene- 
 rally with a heavy basket of books and papers. Always 
 clean and neat, she cared little for fashion or elegance 
 in her dress, and adhered faithfully to her favourite 
 ma?im, that freedom consists in having few wants, the 
 rather that she had neither time, skill, nor inclination to 
 pay much attention to her toilet. Wherever she recog- 
 nised a duty even in trifles, she was scrupulous in 
 fulfilling it, but here she saw no such claim ; she wished 
 only that her dress should be respectable, and was 
 thankful to leave the care of it to others. 
 
 Otto Speckter's well-known lithograph faithfully re- 
 presents her features. As she advanced in years the 
 ennobling influence of the soul was perceptible in them, 
 especially in the brow and eyes. She never was hand- 
 some or graceful, in the ordinary sense of the words. 
 
 Amelia Sieveking, as we have now learned to know 
 her, may serve as a pattern to her sex in more than one 
 respect. Not that all should be exactly what she was ; 
 this requires a peculiar vocation, and all callings are not 
 alike. But her truthfulness, her faithful performance 
 of duty, her conscientiousness and self-control, the 
 earnestness which she carried into the smallest matters, 
 the diligence with which she followed every good work, 
 her severity towards herself, and mildness and discretion 
 in judging of others; these are qualities which every 
 one may strive after, although, indeed, they cannot be 
 attained in our own strength, but only by humble faith in
 
 520 LIFE OF AMELIA WILHELMINA SIEVEKING. 
 
 Him who was the Life of her life, by prayer and stead- 
 fast looking up to Him, and by the daily renewing of 
 His Spirit, who will lead us into all truth. And He, the 
 great Deliverer, only can break the chains of those petty, 
 narrow, and trifling interests by which the souls of n^any 
 women are weighed down to the earth. He only can 
 lift them above the turmoil of a despicable vanity, up to 
 those free heights where the great idea of compassionate 
 and ministering love can form itself in their hearts, and 
 unfold its powers of blessing. This was the idea which 
 was embodied in the life and work c Amelia Sieveking, 
 an idea which can and will set woman free not from the 
 restraints of law and custom, not from her vocation of 
 quiet retirement and domestic virtue, but from the 
 dominion of vanity, of false appearances, and of self-love. 
 This was Amelia Sieveking's desire, and to this she has 
 both shown and opened the way for other women, especially 
 for the unmarried. For the Lord, whom she served so 
 faithfully, gave her success in this also, that she obtained 
 the fullest recognition, not only among those like- 
 minded with herself, but from those who do not profess 
 Christian principles not from the poor only, but also 
 from the rich and noble. Respect and love surrounded 
 her old age, and Hamburg accounted it an honour and 
 a joy to call Amelia Sieveking her own. 
 
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