m* 
 
 
 
THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 EDUG.- 
 PSYCH. 
 LIBRARY 
 
 GIFT OF 
 
 Mrs. Harold Bruce 
 
[JlA^ 
 
 " 
 
 (I 
 
 5 
 
 / W Km 
 
 T 5 ) aax 
 
 ViL 
 
!<?<t 
 
 The Real Diary 
 Of a Real Boy 
 
 By 
 
 Henry A. Shute 
 
 Author of "Sequil," "Letters to Beany," "Real 
 Boys," etc., etc. 
 
 1917 
 
 The Reilly & Britton Co. 
 
 Chicago 
 
Copyright, 1902, by Henry A. Shuie 
 
 Copyright, 1903, by Henry A. Shute 
 
 Copyright, 1906, by The Everett Press Co. 
 
 EDUC- 
 PSYCH. 
 LIBRARY 
 
95*^7 
 
 Introduction 
 
 IN the winter of 1901-02, while 
 rummaging an old closet in the 
 shed - chamber of my father's 
 house, I unearthed a salt-box which 
 had been equipped with leather 
 hinges at the expense of considerable 
 ingenuity, and at a very remote pe- 
 riod. In addition to this, a hasp of 
 the same material, firmly fastened 
 by carpet-tacks and a catch of bent 
 wire, bade defiance to burglars, mid- 
 night marauders, and safe-breakers. 
 
 With the aid of a tack -hammer 
 the combination was readily solved, 
 and an eager examination of the con- 
 tents of the box disclosed: — 
 
 F. 052 
 
Introduction 
 
 1. Fish-line of braided shoema- 
 ker's thread, with perch hook, to 
 which adhered the mummied re- 
 mains of a worm that lived and flour- 
 ished many, many years ago. 
 
 2. Popgun of pith elder and hoop- 
 skirt wire. 
 
 3. Horse-chestnut bolas, calcu- 
 lated to revolve in opposite directions 
 with great velocity, by an up-and- 
 down motion of the holder's wrist; 
 also extensively used for the adorn- 
 ment of telegraph-wires, — there were 
 no telephones in those days, — and 
 the cause of great profanity amongst 
 linemen. 
 
 4. More fish-hooks of the ring va- 
 riety, now obsolete. 
 
 5. One blood alley, two chinees, a 
 
 [6] 
 
Introduction 
 
 parti-colored glass agate, three pe- 
 wees, and unnumbered drab-colored 
 marbles. 
 
 6. Small bow of whalebone, with 
 two arrows. 
 
 7. Six-inch bean-blower, for school 
 use — a weapon of considerable range 
 and great precision when used with 
 judgment behind a Guyot's Com- 
 mon School Geography. 
 
 8. Unexpended ammunition for 
 same, consisting of putty pellets. 
 
 9. Frog's hind leg, extra dry. 
 
 10. Wing of bluejay, very ditto. 
 
 11. Letter from "Beany," post- 
 marked "Biddeford, Me.," and ex- 
 pressing great indignation because 
 "Pewt" "hasent wrote." 
 
 12. Copy-book inscribed "Diry." 
 
 m 
 
Introduction 
 
 The examination of this copy-book 
 lasted the rest of the day, and it was 
 read with the peculiar pleasure one 
 experiences in reviewing some of the 
 events of a happy boyhood. 
 
 With the earnest hope that others 
 may experience a little of the pleas- 
 ure I gained from the reading, I sub- 
 mit the "Diry" to the public. 
 
 Henry A. Shute. 
 
 Exeter, N. H., Sept. 23, 1902. 
 
 [8] 
 
FATHER thot i aught to keep 
 a diry, but i sed i dident want 
 to, because i coodent wright 
 well enuf, but he sed he wood give 
 $1000 dolars if he had kept a diry 
 when he was a boy. 
 
 Mother said she gessed nobody 
 wood dass to read it, but father said 
 everybody would tumble over each 
 other to read it, anyhow he wood 
 give $1000 dolars if he had kept it. 
 i told him i wood keep one regular if 
 he wood give me a quarter of a dolar 
 a week, but he said i had got to keep 
 it anyhow and i woodent get no 
 quarter for it neither, but he wood- 
 ent ask to read it for a year, and i 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 know he will forget it before that, so 
 i am going to wright just what i 
 want to in it. Father always forgets 
 everything but my lickins. he re- 
 members them every time you bet. 
 
 So i have got to keep it, but it 
 seems to me that my diry is worth a 
 quarter of a dolar a week if fathers 
 is worth $1000 dolars, everybody 
 says father was a buster when he 
 was a boy and went round with 
 Gim Melcher and Charles Talor. 
 my grandmother says i am the best 
 boy she ever see, if i dident go with 
 Beany Watson and Pewter Purin- 
 ton, it was Beany and Pewt made 
 me tuf. 
 
 there dos'nt seem to be much to 
 put into a diry only fites and who 
 
 [10] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 got licked at school and if it ranes or 
 snows, so i will begin today- 
 December 1, 186- brite and fair, 
 late to brekfast, but mother dident 
 say nothing, father goes to boston 
 and works in the cnstum house so i 
 can get up as late as i want to. 
 father says he works like time, but i 
 went to boston once and father did- 
 ent do anything but tell stories 
 about what he and Gim Melcher 
 usted to do when he was a boy. 
 once or twice when a man came in 
 they would all be wrighting fast, 
 when the man came in again i sed 
 why do you all wright so fast when 
 he comes in and stop when he goes 
 out, and the man sort of laffed and 
 went out laffing, and the men were 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 mad and told father not to bring 
 that dam little fool again. 
 
 December 2. Skinny Bruce got 
 licked in school today. I told my 
 granmother about it and she said she 
 was glad i dident do enything to get 
 punnished for and she felt sure i never 
 wood, i dident tell her i had to stay 
 in the wood box all the morning 
 with the cover down, i dident tell 
 father either you bet. 
 
 December 2. rany. i forgot to say 
 it raned yesterday too. i got cold and 
 have a red rag round my gozzle. 
 
 December 2. pretty near had a 
 fite in schol today. Skinny Bruce 
 and Frank Elliot got rite up with 
 there fists up when the bell rung, it 
 
 [12] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 was two bad, it wood have been a 
 buly fite. i bet on Skinny. 
 
 December 3, 186- brite and fair, 
 went to church today. Me and Pewt 
 and Beany go to the Unitarial 
 church, we all joined Sunday school 
 to get into the Crismas festerval. 
 they have it in the town hall and 
 have two trees and supper and pres- 
 ents for the scholars, so we are go- 
 ing to stay til after crismas anyway 
 the unitarials have jest built a new 
 church. Pewt and Beany's fathers 
 painted it and so they go there, i 
 don't know why we go there xcept 
 because they don't have any church 
 in the afternoon. Nipper Brown and 
 Micky Gould go there, we all went 
 
 [18] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 into the same class, our teacher is 
 Mister Winsor a student, we call 
 them stewdcats. after we had said 
 our lesson we all skinned out with 
 Mr. Winsor. when we went down 
 Maple street we saw 2 roosters fiting 
 in Dany Wingates yard, and we 
 stoped to see it. i knew more about 
 fiting roosters than any of the fellers, 
 because me and Ed Towle had fit 
 roosters lots. Mr. Winsor said i was 
 a sport, well while the roosters were 
 fiting, Sunday school let out and he 
 skipped acros the street and walked 
 off with one of the girls and we hoi* 
 lered for him to come and see the 
 fite out, and he turned red and 
 looked mad. the leghorn squorked 
 
 [ I*] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 and stuck his head into a corner, 
 when a rooster squorks he wont fite 
 any more. 
 
 December 5. snowed today and 
 school let out at noon, this after- 
 noon went down to the library to 
 plug stewdcats. there was me and 
 Beany and Pewt, and Whacker and 
 Pozzy Chadwick and Pricilla Hobbs. 
 Pricilla is a feller you know, and 
 Pheby Talor, Pheby is a feller too, 
 and Lubbin Smith and Nigger Bell, 
 he is'nt a nigger only we call him 
 Nigger, and Tommy Tompson and 
 Dutchey Seamans and Chick Chick- 
 ering, and Tady Finton and Chitter 
 Robinson. 
 
 December 6. Gim Wingate has 
 got a new bobtail coat. 
 
 [15] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 December 7, 186- Got sent to bed 
 last nite for smoking hayseed cigars 
 and can't go with Beany enny more. 
 It is funny, my father wont let me 
 go with Beany becaus he is tuf, and 
 Pewts father wont let Pewt go with 
 me becaus im tuf, and Beanys father 
 says if he catches me or Pewt in his 
 yard he will lick time out of us. 
 Rany today. 
 
 December 8. Skinny Bruce got 
 licked in school today. Skipy Moses 
 was in the wood box all the morn- 
 ing. 
 
 December 9. brite and fair, speak- 
 in day today, missed in Horatius at 
 the brige. 
 
 December 10. Clowdy but no 
 
 [16] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 rane. went to church, lots of new 
 fellers in Sunday school me and 
 Beany and Pewt and Pile Woods 
 and Billy Folsom and Jimmy Gad 
 and lots of others. Mister Winsor 
 dident teach today, gess they 
 woodent let him on account of the 
 rooster fite. 
 
 December 11. My new boots from 
 Tommy Gads came today, i tell you 
 they are dumpers, no snow yet. 
 
 December 12. Crismas is pretty 
 near, dont know wether i shall get 
 ennything. father says i dont de- 
 sirve ennything. you can get gooze- 
 berrys down to Si Smiths 1 dozen 
 for 5 cents. He has a funny sine it 
 is 
 
 [17] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 flour 
 
 meal 
 
 molasses 
 
 sugar 
 
 coffee 
 
 tea 
 
 spises 
 
 pork & 
 
 lard 
 
 salt 
 
 butter 
 
 ham 
 
 eggs 
 
 &so 
 
 December 15. Fite at resess to- 
 day, Gran Miller and Ben Rundlet. 
 Ben licked him easy, the fellers 
 got to stumping each other to fite. 
 
 [18] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 Micky Gould said he cood lick me 
 and i said he want man enuf and he 
 said if i wood come out behind the 
 school house after school he wood 
 show me and i said i wood and all 
 the fellers hollered and said they 
 wood be there. But after school i 
 thaught i aught to go home and split 
 my kindlings and so i went home, 
 a feller aught to do something for 
 his family ennyway. i cood have 
 licked him if i had wanted to. 
 
 December 16. Tady Finton got 
 licked in school today, snowed to- 
 day a little. 
 
 December 17. rained in the nite 
 and then snowed a little, it was au« 
 ful slipery and coming out of church 
 Squire Lane fell down whak and Mr. 
 
 L 19 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 Burley cought hold of the fence and 
 his feet went so fast that they seemed 
 all fuzzy, i tell you if he cood run as 
 fast as that he cood run a mile a 
 minite. 
 
 December 18. brite and fair, noth- 
 ing particilar. o yes, Skinny Bruce 
 got licked in school. 
 
 December 19. Cold as time. 
 Went to a sosiable tonite at the 
 Unitarial vestry, cant go again be- 
 cause Keene told mother i was impi- 
 dent to the people, i want impident. 
 you see they was making poetry and 
 all sitting around the vestry, they 
 wanted to play copenhagin and post 
 office and clap in and clap out, but 
 Mister Erl woodent let them be- 
 cause it was in church, so they had 
 C20] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 to play poetry, one person wood 
 give a word and then the oppisite 
 person wood give a word that rimed 
 with it. it was auful silly, a girl 
 wood give the word direxion and 
 then a stewdcat wood say afTexion 
 and waul his eyes towards the girl, 
 and then another wood say miss, and 
 another stewdcat wood say kiss and 
 then he wood waul his eyes, and 
 when it came my turn i said what 
 rimes with jellycake, and the girls 
 turned red and the stewdcats looked 
 tunny, and Mister Burley said if i 
 coodent behave i had better go 
 home. Keene needent have told 
 mother anyway. You jest wait 
 Keene, and see what will happen 
 some day. 
 
 [31] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 December 20. Bully skating, went 
 after school and skated way up to 
 the eddy, was going to skate with 
 Lucy Watson but Pewt and Beany 
 hollered so that i dident dass to. 
 John Toomey got hit with a hockey 
 block rite in the snoot and broke 
 his nose. 
 
 December 21. Brite and fair, no- 
 thing particular to-day. nobody got 
 licked, old Francis had his hand 
 done up in a sling, he said he had a 
 bile on it. i tell you the fellers were 
 glad. 
 
 December 22. Warm and rany 
 and spoiled the skating, coodent do 
 anything but think of Crismas. 
 
 December 23. Saturday and no 
 skating, went down to the library 
 
 [22] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 to get a book for sunday. me and 
 Beany were sticking pins into the 
 fellers and making them holler and 
 Jo Parsons the libarian jumped rite 
 over the counter and chased us way 
 down to Mr. Hams coffin shop, he 
 dident catch us either, then we 
 went down town and Billy Swett 
 lent me a dime novel to read sun- 
 day, it was named Billy Bolegs a 
 sequil to Nat Tod the traper. sequil 
 means the things in Nat Tod that 
 was not finished. 
 
 December 24. Brite and fair. 
 Crismas tomorrow, went to sunday 
 school. Mr. Lovel is our teacher 
 now. 
 
 December 25. Crismas. got a 
 new nife, a red and white scarf and 
 
 [23] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 a bag of Si Smiths goozeberies. 
 pretty good for me. 
 
 December 26. Crismas tree at the 
 town hall, had supper and got a 
 bag of candy and a long string of 
 pop corn. Mr. Lovel took off the 
 presents and his whiskers caught 
 fire, and he hollered o hell right out. 
 that was pretty good for a Sunday 
 school teacher, wasent it. Jimmy 
 Gad et too much and was sick. 
 
 December 27. Beany has got a 
 new striped shirt not a false bosom 
 but a whole shirt. Beany wont 
 speak to me now. Lucy Watson 
 has got a new blew hat with a 
 fether. she wont speak to Keene 
 and Cele eether. you jest wait 
 Beany and Lucy and see. 
 
 C 24 3 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 Jan. 1, 186- Had an awful time in 
 school today, me and Cawcaw 
 Harding set together, when we 
 came in from resess Cawcaw reached 
 over and hit me a bat, and i lent 
 him one in the snoot, and he hit me 
 back, we was jest fooling, but old 
 Francis called Cawcaw up front to 
 lick him. i thought if i went up and 
 told him he wood say, noble boy go 
 to your seat, i wont lick neether of 
 you. anyway i knew that Cawcaw 
 wood tell on me, and so i told old 
 Francis i hit Cawcaw first, and old 
 Francis said Harry i have had my 
 eye on you for a long time, and he 
 jest took us up and slammed us to- 
 gether, and then he wood put me 
 down and shake Cawcaw and then 
 C 25 3 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 he wood put Cawcaw down and 
 shake me till my head wabbled and 
 he turned me upside down and all 
 the fellers looked upside down and 
 went round and round and somehow 
 i felt silly like and kind of like laffin. 
 i dident want to laff but coodent 
 help it. and then he talked to us 
 and sent us to our seats and told us 
 to study, and i tried to but all the 
 words in the book went round and 
 round and i felt awful funny and 
 kind of wabbly, and when i went 
 home mother said something was 
 the matter and i told her and then i 
 cried, i don't know what i cried for, 
 becaus i dident ake any. father said 
 he wood lick me at home when i got 
 licked at school and perhaps that was 
 
 [26] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 why i cried ennyway when father 
 come home i asked him if he was a 
 going to lick me and he said not by 
 a dam sight, and he gave me ten 
 cents and when i went to bed i got 
 laffin and crying all to once, and 
 coodent stop, and mother set in my 
 room and kept her hand on my for- 
 red until i went to sleep, i drempt i 
 was nting all the time, when 1 get 
 big enuf there is going to be a fite 
 between me and old Francis, you see 
 if there aint. 
 
 Jan. 2, Me and Beany has made 
 up. i told him i had ten cents and 
 then he dident feel so big about his 
 new shirt, ennyway we went down 
 to Si Smiths and got a dozen gooze- 
 berries and then went down to doc- 
 T27] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 tor Derborns and got a glass of sody 
 water and took turns drinking it and 
 seeing which cood gulp the loudest. 
 Beany beat. 
 
 Jan. 3. brite and fair. Went 
 down to Pewts tonite to make hay- 
 seed cigars. We made 5 kinds, hay- 
 seed, sweet firn, cornsilk, mullin 
 leeves, and grape vine, my mouth 
 taisted aufuly all nite. 
 
 Jan. 4. brite and fair. Pewt dident 
 come to school today, i gess he was 
 sick, my mouth taisted aufuly all 
 day. 
 
 Jan. 5. clowdy and aufuly cold. 
 Pewt came to school today and got 
 a licking for puting gum on Nigger 
 Bells seat. Nig set in it til it dride 
 and then tride to get up and coodent, 
 
 £28] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 then old Francis come down the ile 
 and snaiked Nigger out and when he 
 see the gum he asked us who put it 
 there, we all said we dident, but he 
 licked Pewt becaus he had seen Pewt 
 chooing gum. 
 
 Jan. 6. it snowed last nite and to- 
 day. Speaking in school today, i 
 spoke the berrial of sir John More, 
 old Francis said he never heard enny- 
 thing wirse in his life, i hope he 
 wont tell father, this afternoon we 
 pluged stewdcats. 
 
 Jan. 7. Ed Towle has got a gote. 
 the fellers stumped me to hold him 
 by the horns and he buted me over 
 in the slosh, mother said i had no 
 bisiness to be playing on Sunday. 
 
 Jan. 8. brite and fair, there is go- 
 
 [29] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 ing to be a nigger show in the town 
 hall tonite. father says i cant go be- 
 caus i sassed aunt Sarah, it is uncle 
 Toms cabbin. 
 
 Jan. 9. brite and fair. Beany 
 went to the nigger show, he led one 
 of the bludhouns in the prosession 
 and got a ticket. Beany had on a 
 red coat jest like the dogs, he said 
 it was buly. 
 
 Jan. 10. rany. Nipper Brown is 
 the best scolar in my class, i am the 
 wirst. i can lick Nipper easy. 
 
 Jan. 11. brite and fair. After 
 school me and Beany and Pewt and 
 Fatty Melcher and Pozzy Chadwick 
 and lots of fellers went skating on 
 fresh river, i was skating backwerd 
 and i got one leg in a eal hole, gosh 
 
 [80] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 the water was cold and before i got 
 home my britches leg was all froze. 
 
 Jan. 12. nobody got licked in 
 school today, gess why, becaus there 
 wassent enny school, old Francis 
 was sick, i went skating. 
 
 Jan. 13. brite and — no it was 
 rany. had a speling mach today in 
 school. Cele and Genny Morrison 
 staid up til the last and then Cele 
 missed and set down balling, and 
 Genny beat, i cant stop to wright 
 enny more becaus i am going to the 
 levee with father. 
 
 Jan. 14, 186- Went to a big levee 
 last nite at the town hall. Bill 
 Morrill and Nuel Head and Dave 
 Quimby and Frank Hervey got it 
 up. they had Hook and Pasons 
 
 [81] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 quadril band of Haverhil. father 
 bought a ticket becaus he was in the 
 custum house and has to be frends 
 with people, it was splendid, most 
 everybody went all dressed up in 
 blue silk and red and crokay slippers. 
 Ham Perkins and Charlie Lane and 
 Charley Piper and Chick Randall 
 and Dan Ranlet and Grace Morril 
 and the Head girls and Sweat girls 
 and Carrie Towle and Sarah Clark, 
 J. Albert Clarks sister and the Mel 
 cher boys and they all hopped round 
 pretty lively, i tell you. i staid until 
 12 o'clock and listened to the band, 
 i never had so good time in my life. 
 Jan. 15. i am all spekled over, 
 mother says she is afrade i have got 
 
 [82] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 chicken pocks, i gess i have been in 
 the hen koop to mutch. 
 
 Jan. 16. the speckles have all 
 gone of. doctor Perry says i et to 
 many donuts. 
 
 Jan. 18. brite and fair, yesterday 
 to and day before yesterday i have 
 forgot. 
 
 Jan. 19. snowed all day. Me and 
 Beany is mad. 
 
 Jan. 20. father is sick becaus he 
 et to mutch salt fish and potato and 
 pork, he is auful cross and hit me a 
 bat today becaus i left the door open, 
 i gess he will be sorry when i am 
 ded. 
 
 Jan. 21. brite and fair, went to 
 church in the morning and in the 
 
 [33] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 afternoon greeced some paper and 
 trased some pictures. 
 
 Jan. 22. i had to stay in the wood- 
 box today for whispering to Whacker 
 with the cover down, i like it becaus 
 they is a peep hole in the box and 
 you can see the fellers and they cant 
 see you. by and by Gimmy Fits- 
 gerald whispered and old Francis put 
 him in to and we took turns peep- 
 ing. 
 
 Jan. 23. it raned hard all day and 
 we had one sesion. Beany came over 
 and we made up and plaid in the 
 barn making fly boxes. 
 
 Jan. 24. nothing much today, 
 rany in the morning and froze at 
 night. 
 
 Jan. 25. brite and fair, everything 
 
 [34] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 was covered with ice and when father 
 started for the depot he tumbled 
 down the front steps from the top to 
 the botom. mother says he went 
 bumpity bump and his hat went one 
 way and his dinner box went the 
 other, i herd him swaring aufuly 
 about that dam boy, and i gess he 
 wood have come up and licked time 
 out of me, but he had to hurry to get 
 the train, 
 
 Jan. 26. jest as soon as the skat- 
 ing comes it has to snow and spoil it. 
 
 Jan. 27. i coodent go out of the 
 yard this afternoon becaus i dident 
 put ashes on the front steps before 
 father fell down and so Pewt and 
 Beany and Whacker and Nibby 
 Hartwell and Diddly Colket and 
 
 [35] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 Nipper and Prisilla and Gim Wingit 
 and lots of the fellers came over 
 and we had a snowball fite. mother 
 says she hops father wont keep me 
 at home anuther afternoon. 
 
 Jan. 28. brite and fair, it never 
 ranes Sundays so a feller cant go to 
 church. 
 
 Jan. 29. Nothing puticular today, 
 it always seams harder to go to 
 school mundays, more fellers gets 
 licked mundays than enny day in the 
 weak, i got stood on the platform 
 with my head in the corner for look- 
 ing of my book today. 
 
 Jan. 30. brite and fair, i have got 
 a auful chilblane on my heel. 
 
 Jan. 31. brite and fair, i was glad 
 today was wensday in the afternoon 
 
 [36] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 i went skating, the students played 
 baseball on the ice. 
 
 Feb. 1. brite and fair, pretty soon 
 it will be Washintons berthday, 
 and then all the boys can ring the 
 town bell at noon and at nite. 
 
 Feb. 2. clowdy but no snow, to- 
 morror will be saterday they is only 
 2 days in the weak that is wirth en- 
 nything and that is wensday and 
 saterday except in vacation. 
 
 Feb. 3. Snowed like time all the 
 forenoon, in the afternoon me and 
 Pewt and Beany rolled up some big 
 snowballs, then tonite we put all 
 the balls together and made a big 
 snowman rite in front of Mrs. Lew- 
 ises front door, then we put a old 
 hat on it and hung a peace of paper 
 
 [37] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 on it and wrote man wanted on the 
 paper, tomorrow all the people who 
 go to church will see it and laflf be- 
 caus Mister Lewis got a devorse. 
 they will be some fun tomorrow. 
 
 Feb. 5. i coodent wright enny- 
 thing last nite becaus i got sent to 
 bed and got a licking, i tell you we 
 got in a auful scrape. Sunday morn- 
 ing me and Pewt and Beany went 
 out erly to see our snowman, he 
 was there and when people began to 
 go by they began to latT, and most 
 of the people said it was the funniest 
 thing they ever see and who ever put 
 it there was a pretty smart feller, so 
 we said we did it and Pewt said he 
 thought of it ferst and Beany said he 
 
 [38] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 did, and i said i did most of the 
 werk. 
 
 Well, pretty soon some people 
 came along and looked at it and said 
 it was a shame and they went over 
 to pull of the paper and she came 
 out and see it, and she took a broom 
 and nocked it over and broke it all 
 up. and then she went rite down to 
 my house to tell father, then she 
 went over to Beanys house and then 
 up to Pewts. well after church 
 father took me over to her house, 
 and Beany was there with his father 
 and Pewt with his father, she said 
 she wood have us arested for it. but 
 they talked a long time and after a 
 while she said if our fathers wood 
 
 [39] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 lick us and make us saw and split a 
 cord of wood she woodent say no 
 more about it. when we went out 
 father said, i never see such dam 
 boys did you Brad, did you Wats, 
 and they said they never did. so we 
 have got to saw and split that wood 
 and we got licked two. 
 
 Feb. 6. brite and fair, me and 
 Pewt and Beany sawed and split 
 some wood for Misses Lewis. 
 
 Feb. 7. brite and fair, sawed 
 some more wood, me and Pewt and 
 Beany. 
 
 Feb. 8. brite and fair, split some 
 more wood, me and Pewt and 
 Beany. 
 
 Feb. 9. Fatty Melcher and Caw- 
 caw Harding, Chitter Robinson and 
 
 [40] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 Medo Thurston helped saw some 
 more wood. 
 
 Feb. 10. Brite and fair, this af- 
 ternoon Whack Pozzy and Boog 
 Chadwick, Dutchy Semans, Nigger 
 Bell Pop Clark, Shinny Thing and 
 Pile Wood all come down with saws 
 and axes and helped us saw that 
 wood, we worked all the afternoon 
 and £ot it done and piled up before 
 dark, then Misses Lewis asked us 
 in and gave us some buly donuts 
 and some sweatened water and we 
 sung and told stories and before we 
 went we told her we was sorry we 
 bilt the snowman and she said she 
 was sorry two. then when we went 
 away we give 3 cheers for her, 
 
 [41] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 Feb. 11. brite and fair, i shant 
 forget last Sunday very soon. 
 
 Feb. 12. rany today, i dont care 
 becaus i havent got to saw enny 
 more wood. 
 
 Feb. 13. still rany. i dont care. 
 
 Feb. 14. pretty cold today, going 
 to have a new kind of speling mach 
 tomorrow. 
 
 Feb. 15. Got to the head in spell- 
 ing today, old Francis makes us all 
 stand up in the ile and gives us a lot 
 of words to spell and then we wright 
 them down on our slates and then 
 the head feller or girl changes slates 
 with the foot feller or girl and so on 
 and then old Francis wrights the 
 words on the blackboard and then 
 we mark each others slates. John 
 
 [42] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 Flanygin was the foot feller and had 
 my slate, well most of Johns words 
 was wrong, but John marked mine 
 all write, i gess John dident know 
 it, but ther was 4 or 5 of my words 
 speled wrong, i set out to tell old 
 Francis but dident dass to becaus he 
 licked me for teling that i paisted 
 Cawcaw Harding that time, so i 
 kept still and kept at the head and 
 John kept at the foot, i hope John 
 will do it again tomorrow. 
 
 Feb. 16. Beat in speling today. 
 
 Feb. 17. beat in speling today. 
 
 Feb. 19. Beat in speling today, 
 old Francis is a going to give a prise 
 tomorrow, i told father i was pretty 
 sure to get it and he said it will be 
 the first one. Aunt Sarah asked 
 
 [43] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 him if he took many prises, and he 
 said he dident get much of a prise 
 when he got me. i gess he wont say 
 that tomorrow when i bring my 
 prise home. 
 
 Feb. 20. i dident get the prise, 
 you see yesterday John Flanygin 
 spelt more words write than Gimmy 
 Fitsgerald and Gimmy went to the 
 foot, when we marked slates Gimmy 
 marked 9 of my words wrong out of 
 20, and i had to go down most to 
 where John Flannygin was. old 
 Francis said he dident beleave i had 
 aught to have staid at the head so 
 long as i did and i was afraid he 
 wood lick me and John but he did- 
 ent. he said he was ashamed and 
 disapointed in me but i gess he was 
 [ 44 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 not the only one who was disapoint- 
 ed. i had told Pewt and Beany i 
 wood treat on what father wood give 
 me for getting the prise. Pewt and 
 Beany was both mad, and are going 
 to lay for Gimmy. 
 
 Feb. 21, i forgot to say what the 
 wether was most every day this 
 weak, it has been brite and fair most 
 of the time, only it snowed two days 
 and raned most of one day. brite 
 and fair today and cold as time. 
 
 Feb. 23, Clowdy and cold. Pop 
 Clark had to crawl through a chair 
 today, he went through so fast old 
 Francis only hit him 2 bats. Tady 
 Finton and Nigger Bell both got 
 licked. Tady dident cry or holler a 
 bit, but Nigger hollered just like a 
 C 45 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 girl, i supped Nigger was more of 
 a man than that. 
 
 Feb. 24, Beany and Pewt got 
 punching today in school and old 
 Francis made them stand on the 
 platform with their arms round each 
 others neck all the forenoon, i bet 
 they felt pretty cheep. Brite and 
 fair. 
 
 Feb. 25, i have got a new pair of 
 britches at erl and Cutts. i gess 
 Beany aint the only one which has 
 good clothes eather. 
 
 Feb. 26. Nothing particular to- 
 day. Went down to old Heads shop 
 to see the stewdcats ride velosipedes. 
 There is going to be a race in the 
 town hall tomorrow night. 
 
 Feb. 27. Father said i cood go to 
 
 t 46 3 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 the velosipede race if i woodent miss 
 splitting my kindlings for a week, i 
 did miss them twice but mother did- 
 ent tell him and if he dont ask her 
 before tonight i am all right. 
 
 Feb. 28. Last night went to the 
 velosipede race, it was jest ripping, 
 i got down before the door opened. 
 Bob Carter came pretty soon but he 
 woodent let us in until the ticket 
 man came. Mr. Watson was the 
 ticket man and he let me and Beany 
 and Shinny Thing in free, they had 
 a lot of seats in the center of the hall, 
 and the rest round the edges, and a 
 open track around the hall. On the 
 platform set Bill Morrill and Dave 
 Quimby and John Getchell and 
 Eben Folsom. Most of the fellers 
 
 [47] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 in the race were stewdcats and most 
 of the stewdcats and the girls had 
 the seats in the center of the hall. 
 The stewdcats who were to race were 
 Stone and Stuart and Lee and Clif- 
 ford and August Belmont and Swift 
 and Nichols and George Kent and 
 Cutler and Johnny Heald and Gear 
 and Burly and Bob Morison. the 
 townies were Charlie Gerish and 
 Doctor Prey, each feller rode round 
 the hall twice to get going like time, 
 and then Dave Quimby hollered go 
 and he had to ride around the hall 
 until he had rid a quarter of a mile. 
 When the stewdcats rode all the 
 other stewdcats yelled and the girls 
 waved their handkerchiefs and the 
 
 [48] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 band played and the excitement was 
 dreadful. 
 
 After a while Docter Prey came 
 out and all the townies got up and 
 cheered and the band played the star 
 spangled banner, because Doctor fit 
 in the war, and Doctor took of his 
 hat and bowed and then rode round 
 like time, he rode faster than most 
 every one of them except Stone and 
 Stuart and Lee and Clifford and Bel- 
 mont and Swift, i gess if Doc hadent 
 fit so hard in the war he wood have 
 beat them all. and then Charlie 
 Gerish came out and all the townies 
 hollered again and Charlie made his 
 legs go so fast that they coodent 
 hardly see them, and jest before the 
 
 [ 49] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 last time around his velosipede 
 slipped and Charlie went fluking 
 over three settees, he jumped on his 
 velosipede again and went around 
 with his britches all torn but he did- 
 ent get around quite quick enuf to 
 beat Stone, then the townies yelled 
 and said it was a cheat and the 
 stewdcats hissed, and some of the 
 townies said they could lick the 
 stewdcats, and the stewdcats said 
 they wasent man enuf and it looked 
 as if there was a going to be a row 
 when Charlie Gerrish got up and 
 said he was beat fair and there was- 
 ent enything to get mad about, and 
 that he would like to shake hands 
 with the stewdcat which beat him, 
 and he wood like to race him an- 
 
 [50] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 other time but he coodent then be- 
 cause he hurt his leg, and then they 
 shook hands and every one felt buly, 
 and the stewdcats said hooray for 
 Charlie and the townies hollered 
 hooray for Stone, and Bill Morrill 
 made a speech and give the prise to 
 Stone and the band played and we 
 all went home, i bet Doc. Prey and 
 Charlie Gerrish can lick any two 
 stewdcats in the hall. 
 
 Mar. 2. i went to a show in the 
 town hall tonight, it was a singing 
 show called the haymakers, it was 
 splendid. Mr. Gale got it up. they 
 have been practising all winter. Alice 
 Gewell was a dary maid and Charlie 
 Lane was a katydid, and lots of oth- 
 ers sung, it was splendid. 
 
 [51] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 Mar. 3. Cloudy but no rane. went 
 down to Langley's store for some 
 juju paste, saw a nte. Old Kize tried 
 to arest Bill Hartnit and Bill lam- 
 med time out of him and after a 
 while old Swain came up and arrest- 
 ed him. 
 
 Mar. 4. Brite and fair. Went to 
 church to-day, the fernace smoked 
 so the people had to come home. 
 They say they will have it fixed be- 
 fore next Sunday, i hope not. 
 
 Mar. 5. School closes tomorrow, 
 i got kept after school tonight for 
 whispering to Cawcaw. 
 
 Mar. 6. School closed today and 
 we voted for prises. Mr. Gordon 
 give 4 prizes for the 2 best fellers and 
 2 best girls for the term. So we voted 
 
 [52] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 for them. Most of the fellers wanted 
 to vote for Jenny Morrison because 
 she was the prettiest girl there, and 
 can go the greeshun bend better than 
 enny girl in the school, and most 
 of the girls dident like Jenny Morri- 
 son and wanted to vote for Dora 
 Moses and Mary Luverin, and the 
 girls wanted to vote for Lees Moses 
 because he was polite to them and 
 rather go with the girls than the 
 boys and we holler at him, but he 
 can fite for i saw him lick Gim Erly 
 one day, and Gim Erly can rassle 
 better than enny one but Jack Mel- 
 vil. well most of the fellows wanted 
 to vote for Tady Finton or Pop 
 Clark or Skinny Bruce because they 
 never get mad or cry when they are 
 
 [53] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 licked and make lots of fun, but we 
 knew they coodent get the prize for 
 they are all the time raising time and 
 getting licked and so we voted for 
 Honey Donovan and Moses Gordon, 
 and when the votes was counted 
 Dora Moses and Mary Luvering got 
 the prizes for the girls and Mose 
 Gordon and Nigger Bell for the boys. 
 That was all write about Dora Moses 
 and Mary Luverin because they was 
 the best girls and always went to- 
 gether, but we dident like it very 
 well about Mose and Nigger, only 
 we thought that so long as Mose's 
 father give the prizes Mose ought to 
 have one. i gess most of the girls 
 must have voted for Nig, because 
 
 [54] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 they was mad with Lees Moses, i 
 know what they was mad at too. 
 
 Then the first class give old Fran- 
 cis a present of some books and when 
 he turned over the leaves there was 
 twenty dollars there, and old Francis 
 was surprised and made a fine speech, 
 and the people all clapped becaus he 
 made such a good speech, i heard 
 him saying it over the night before 
 when i was kept after school. No 
 school for 2 weeks. 
 
 Mar. 7- When my father was a 
 boy he was the best titer in this 
 town. 
 
 Mar. 9. Went down to Fatty 
 Melchers today to make a violin, we 
 cut a piece of wood the shape of a 
 
 [55] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 violin then take some horsehairs and 
 strech them over a brige and you 
 can play a tune on them, in school 
 i learnt to play on a piece of india 
 rubber, you pull a piece of elastic 
 out of your congres boot and hold it 
 in your teeth and pull it tite and 
 snap it with your fingers and you can 
 play tunes that you can hear but no 
 one else can. old Francis saw me 
 snapping the elastic and came and 
 took it away, i have got plenty 
 more in my boot, i am saving money 
 to buy me a cornet, when i get enuf 
 i am a going to play in the band. 
 
 Mar. 10. plesent day. old Si 
 Smiths big white dog and a bull dog 
 had an awful fite today, neether 
 licked and they had to squert water 
 
 [56] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 on them to seperate them, they did- 
 ent make no noise, only jest hung 
 write on to each others gozzles. my 
 aunt Sarah said it was dredful, and 
 she staid to the window to see how 
 dredful it was. 
 
 Mar. 11, 186- Went to church in 
 the morning, the fernace was all 
 write. Mister Lennard preeched 
 about loving our ennymies, and told 
 every one if he had any angry feel- 
 ings towards ennyone to go to him 
 and shake hands and see how much 
 better you wood feel, i know how it 
 is becaus when me and Beany are 
 mad we dont have eny fun and when 
 we make up the one who is to blam 
 always wants to treet. why when 
 Beany was mad with me becaus i 
 
 [57] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 went home from Gil Steels surprise 
 party with Lizzie Towle, Ed Towles 
 sister, he woodent speak to me for 2 
 days, and when we made up he 
 treated me to ice cream with 2 spoons 
 and he let me dip twice to his once, 
 he took pretty big dips to make up. 
 Beany is mad if enny of the fellers 
 go with Lizzie Towle. she likes 
 Beany better than she does enny of 
 the fellers and Beany ought to be 
 satisfied, but sometimes he acks mad 
 when i go down there to fite roosters 
 with Ed. i gess he needent worry 
 much, no feller isnt going to leave 
 of fiting roosters to go with no girls, 
 well i most forgot what i was going 
 to say, but after church i went up to 
 Micky Gould who was going to fite 
 
 [58} 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 me behind the school house, and said 
 Micky lets be friends and Micky said, 
 huh old Skinny, i can lick you in 2 
 minits and i said you aint man enuf 
 and he called me a nockneed puke, 
 and i called him a wall eyed lummix 
 and he give me a paist in the eye and 
 i gave him a good one in the mouth, 
 and then we rassled and Micky threw 
 me and i turned him, and he got 
 hold of my new false bosom and i 
 got hold of his hair, and the fellers 
 all hollered hit him Micky, paist him 
 Skinny, and Mister Purington, 
 Pewts father pulled us apart and i 
 had Mickys paper collar and necktie 
 and some of his hair and he had my 
 false bosom and when i got home 
 father made me go to bed and stay 
 
 [59] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 there all the afternoon for fiting, but 
 i gess he dident like my losing my 
 false bosom, ennyway he asked me 
 how many times i hit Micky and 
 which licked, he let me get up at 
 supper time, next time i try to love 
 my ennymy i am a going to lick him 
 first. 
 
 Went to a Sunday school concert 
 in the evening. Keene and Cele sung 
 now i lay me down to sleep, they 
 was a lot of people sung together 
 and Mister Gale beat time. Charlie 
 Gerish played the violin and Miss 
 Packerd sung, i was scart when 
 Keene and Cele sung for i was afraid 
 they would break down, but they 
 dident, and people said they sung 
 like night horks. i gess if they 
 
 [60] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 knowed how night horks sung they 
 woodent say much, father felt pretty 
 big and to hear him talk you wood 
 think he did the singing, he give 
 them ten cents apeace. i dident get 
 none, you gest wait, old man till i 
 get my cornet. 
 
 Went to a corcus last night, me 
 and Beany were in the hall in the 
 afternoon helping Bob Carter 
 sprinkle the floor and put on the 
 sordust. the floor was all shiny with 
 wax and aufully slipery. so Bob got 
 us to put on some water to take off 
 the shiny wax. well write in front 
 of the platform there is a low plat- 
 form where they get up to put in 
 their votes and then step down and 
 Beany said, dont put any water there 
 
 [61] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 only jest dry sordust. so i dident. 
 well that night we went erly to see 
 the fun. Gim Luverin got up and 
 said there was one man which was 
 the oldest voter in town and he 
 ought to vote the first, the name of 
 this destinkuished sitizen was John 
 Quincy Ann Pollard, then old mister 
 Pollard got up and put in his vote 
 and when he stepped down his heels 
 flew up and he went down whak on 
 the back of his head and 2 men lifted 
 him up and lugged him to a seat, 
 and then Ed Derborn, him that rings 
 the town bell, stepped up pretty live- 
 ly and went flat and swore terrible, 
 and me and Beany nearly died we 
 laffed so. well it kept on, people 
 dident know what made them fall, 
 [62] 
 
 j 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 and Gim Odlin sat write down in 
 his new umbrella and then they sent 
 me down stairs for a pail of wet sor- 
 dust and when i was coming up i 
 heard an auful whang, and when i 
 got up in the hall they were lugging 
 old mister Stickney off to die and 
 they put water on his head and lug- 
 ged him home in a hack, they say 
 Bob Carter will lose his place, me 
 and Beany dont know what to do. 
 if we dont tell, Bob will lose his place 
 and if we do we will get licked. 
 
 Mar. 12. Mister Stickney is all 
 write today, gosh you bet me and 
 Beany are glad. 
 
 Mar. 13, 186- brite and fair. Mr. 
 Gravel has bought old Heads carrige 
 shop, he is a dandy and wears shiny 
 
 [63] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 riding boots and a stove pipe hat and 
 a velvet coat and goes with Dan 
 Ranlet and George Perkins and 
 Johny Gibson and the other dandies, 
 i went down today and watched 
 Fatty Walker stripe some wheels. 
 
 Mar. 14. clowdy. Elkins and 
 Graves had an oxion to-night. Beany 
 got ten cents for going round town 
 ringing a bell and hollering oxion. i 
 went with Beany and it was lots of 
 fun. Beany wouldent treet. he says 
 he is saving money for something, i 
 know what it is it is a valintine for 
 Lizzie Tole. it was mean of Beany 
 not to treet becaus i did as much hol- 
 lering as he did. 
 
 Mar. 15. The funniest thing hap- 
 ened to-day you ever saw. after brek- 
 
 [64] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 fast me and father took a walk and 
 then went and set down on the high 
 school steps, father was telling me 
 some of the things he and Gim Mel- 
 cher used to do. father must have 
 been a ripper when he was young, 
 well ennyway while we was talking 
 old Ike Shute came along through 
 the school yard. Ike wears specks 
 and always carries a little basket on 
 his arm. he cant see very well, and 
 father said to me, now you jest keep 
 still and you will see some fun and 
 when Ike came along father changed 
 his voice so that it sounded awfully 
 growly and said where in the devil 
 are you going with that basket, and 
 Ike was scart most to deth and said 
 only a little way down here sir and 
 [65 j 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 father said, move on sir and move 
 dam lively and i nearly died laffing 
 to see Ike hiper. well after a while i 
 see Ike coming back with old Swane 
 and old Kize the policemen, i tell 
 you i was scart but father only laflfed 
 and said you keep still and i will fix 
 it all right, so when they came up 
 he said to old Kize what is the 
 trouble Filander and he said Mr. 
 Shute here has been thretened by 
 some drunken rascal, and father 
 looked aufuly surprised and said that 
 is an infernal shame, when did it 
 happen Isak, and Ike said about fif- 
 teen minits ago and father said we 
 have been here about as long as that 
 and i dident see the scoundrel, how 
 did he look Isak, and Ike said i cood- 
 
 [66] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 ent see him very well George but he 
 was a big man and he had a awful 
 deep voice and father said did he 
 stagger enny and Ike said i coodent 
 see wether he did or not but i cood 
 tell he was drunk by his voice, so 
 old Swain and old Kize went down 
 behind the school house and off thru 
 the carrige shop yard to see if they 
 cood find him, and me and father 
 walked home with Ike to protect him 
 and father said now Isak if ennyone 
 insults you again jest come to me 
 and if i can catch him i will break 
 every bone in his body, and father 
 and Ike shook hands and Ike shook 
 hands with me and then we went 
 home and father began to laff and 
 lafFed all the way home and then he 
 [67] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 told mother and aunt Sarah and they 
 said it was a shame to play such a 
 trick upon him and father laffed all 
 the more and said Ike hadent had so 
 much exercise for a year and it wood 
 do him good and give him something 
 to think about, ennyway they said 
 it was a shame to teech me such 
 things, and father said he would 
 rather i wood be tuf than be like Ike, 
 and Aunt Sarah said i never wood 
 be half as good as Ike for he never 
 did a wrong thing in his life, and 
 father laffed and said he dident dass 
 to for his mother wood shet him in 
 the closet, it was aufully funny, but 
 i gess they was right, i shall never 
 be half as good as Ike. i wonder if 
 
 [68] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 old Swane and old Kize have caught 
 that man yet. 
 
 Mar. 16. Pewt dreened 18 mar- 
 bles and 2 chinees out of me to-day. 
 we was playing first in a hole, school 
 today, sailed boats in the brook in 
 J. Albert Clark's garden and got 
 pretty wet. 
 
 Mar. 17. Scott Briggam has got 
 some little flying squirrels, he is go- 
 ing to get me one for thirty-five 
 cents, i am going to take it out of 
 my cornet money. 
 
 Mar. 18. Father wont let me play 
 marbles in ernest. it aint enny fun 
 dreening- a feller and then giving 
 them back, i bet father didnt when 
 he was a boy. 
 
 [69] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 Mar. 19. Scott Briggam brought 
 my squirrel today and i paid him 35 
 cents, 3 ten cents scrips and five 
 cents, i have got it in a bird cage. 
 
 Mar. 20. my squirrel got out of 
 the cage last nite and father found 
 him in the water pail drownded. fa- 
 ther got up in the night and got a 
 dipper and drank some water out of 
 that pail, he dident eat any brekfast 
 because he was thinking that the 
 squirrel might have been in the pail 
 then, i wonder if it was. ennyway 
 35 cents of my cornet money has 
 gone up. 
 
 Mar. 23. school today, went 
 
 down to Pewts to draw pictures. 
 
 Charlie Woodbury can draw the 
 
 best, then Pewt, and then me. 
 
 C 70 3 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 Beany dont like to draw, we was 
 talking about what we was going to 
 be when we grew up. Charlie Wood- 
 bury is going to be a picture painter, 
 Pewt is going to be a lawyer, Potter 
 Gorham and Chick Chickering are 
 going to stuff birds for a living, 
 Beany is going to be a hack driver, 
 Gim Wingit is going to run a news- 
 paper, Cawcaw Harding is going to 
 be a piscopal minister becaus he says 
 they only have to read their speaches 
 out of a book, Nipper Brown is going 
 to be a professer, Priscilla Hobbs is 
 going to play a organ in the baptis 
 church. Prisil can play 3 tunes now 
 on a little organ, i am going to be a 
 cornet player like Bruce Briggam. 
 cornet players can go to all the dan- 
 [71] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 ces and fairs and prosessions and are 
 invited in and treated when people 
 are married and they serrinade them 
 at night, and they don't have to 
 work either. 
 
 Mar. 25. almost as warm as sum- 
 mer, went to church and Sunday 
 school. Beany has got a job blowing 
 the organ for Kate Wells, he only 
 let the wind go out 2 times today, 
 it was funny becaus when the organ 
 stopped Mister Wood who was sing- 
 ing let out an auful hoot before he 
 knowed what he was doing Beany 
 will lose his job if he does it again. 
 
 Mar. 29, 186- The toads has come 
 
 out. fine warm day. me and Potter 
 
 Gorham have been ketching toads 
 
 this afternoon, they sit in the pud- 
 
 C 72 3 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 les and peep, folks think it is frogs 
 but most of it is toads. Potter got 
 23 and i got 18. tonite i put my 
 toads in a box in the kitchen after 
 the folks went to bed. in the night 
 they all got out of the box and be- 
 gan to hop round and peep mother 
 heard it and waked father and they 
 lissened. when i waked up father 
 was coming threw my room with a 
 big cane and a little tin lamp, he 
 had put on his britches and was in 
 his shirt tale, and i said, what are 
 you going to lick me for now i hav- 
 ent done nothing and he said, keep 
 still there is some one down stairs 
 and mother said dont go down 
 George and father said, lissen i can 
 hear him giving a whistle for his con- 
 [78] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 fedrit, i will jump in and give him a 
 whack on the cokonut. i had forgot 
 all about the toads and you bet i was 
 scart. well father he crep down easy 
 and blowed out his lite and opened 
 the door quick and jest lammed 
 round with his club, then i heard 
 him say what in hell have i stepped 
 on, bring a lite here, then i thought 
 of the toads and you bet i was scarter 
 than before, mother went down with 
 a lite and then i heard him say, i 
 will be cussed the whole place is full 
 of toads, then mother said did you 
 ever, and father said he never did, 
 and it was some more of that dam 
 boys works and he yelled upstairs for 
 me to come down and ketch them, 
 so i went down and caught them and 
 [74 J 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 put them out all but 2 that father 
 had stepped on and they had to be 
 swep up, then all the folks came 
 down in their nitegounds and i went 
 up stairs lively and got into bed and 
 pulled the clothes round me tite, but 
 it dident do enny good for father 
 came up and licked me, he dident 
 lick me very hard becaus i gess he 
 was glad it wasent a berglar and if it 
 hadent been for me it might have 
 been berglars insted of toads. 
 
 Mar. 30. brite and fair, went out 
 with Potter Gorham. saw some 
 toads 2 robins and a blewbird. gosh 
 it makes a feller feel good to see birds 
 and toads and live things. 
 
 Mar. 31. April fool day tomor- 
 row, i am laying for Beany, old 
 [75] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 Francis licked 5 fellers today becaus 
 they sung rong when we was singing 
 speek kindly it is better far to rule 
 by luv than feer. 
 
 April 1. auful cold and rainy, i 
 was going to wright a love letter to 
 Beany and sine Lizzie Toles name 
 to it but i told father about it for fun 
 and he said that it was fourgery and 
 that i cood be prostecuted and sent 
 to jale. so i dident. tonite me and 
 Beany rung five door bells for april 
 fool. 
 
 April 2. been trying to get rid of 
 some warts. Pewt says if you hook 
 a piece of pork after dark, rub it on 
 the warts and say arum erum irum 
 orum urum and nurum 3 times turn 
 round twice and throw the pork thru 
 [76] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 a window, then the warts will all be 
 gone the next day. me and Beany is 
 going to try it tomorrow. 
 
 April 3. brite and fair, dident get 
 a chance to hook the pork. 
 
 April 4. The band played in the 
 band room to-nite. it was warm 
 enuf to have the windows open and 
 we cood hear it. i sat out in the 
 school yard til 10 oclock to hear it 
 and father came out and walked me 
 home. Beany was mad becaus i cared 
 more for the band than for getting 
 rid of the warts. 
 
 April 6. dident wright anything 
 last nite, was too scart. i never was 
 so scart in all my life before, me and 
 Beany came awful near getting in 
 jale. we dident know where to hook 
 [77] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 the pork, i went to our cellar but 
 father was down there making vini- 
 gar all the evening, then we went to 
 Beanys cellar but Mister Watson 
 was sitting on the cellar door, so 
 Beany told his father that a man was 
 looking for him to see about a horse 
 and Mister Watson started down to 
 the club stable, then Beany hooked 
 the pork and rubbed it over his warts 
 and then i rubbed it over my warts 
 and we said arum erum irum orum 
 urum and nurum 3 times jest as Pewt 
 said, turned round twice and i plug- 
 ged the pork right threw a gaslite jest 
 then the gasman came along, he yel- 
 led at us and jumped out of his 
 wagon and went for us. we ran down 
 threw the school yard as fast as we 
 
 [78] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 cood hiper. there is a hollow in the 
 corner of the school yard by Bill Mor- 
 rills back yard and there is a little hole 
 in the bottom of the fence where the 
 fellers crawl threw when the football 
 goes into his garden, we skinned 
 threw that hole jest in time, the 
 gasman tried to crawl threw but he 
 coodent, then he clim the high fence 
 but while he was doing that we ran 
 across the carrige factory yard and 
 down by the old brewery up Bow 
 street and home, i went to bed 
 pretty lively and so did Beany, gosh 
 but we was scart. 
 
 April 7- One of Beanys warts has 
 gone. 
 
 April 8. brite and fair, my warts 
 have not gone. 
 
 C 79 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 April 9. brite and fair, my warts 
 have not gone. 
 
 April 10. Clowdy but no rane. 
 my warts have not gone. 
 
 April 11. rany. i have got 2 more 
 warts, i gess i hadent ought to have 
 broke that gaslite. 
 
 April 12. i have got another. 
 
 April 13. bully day. me and Pot- 
 ter Gorham and Chick Chickering 
 went out after toads today, i got 14 
 but i dident take them home you 
 bet. 
 
 April 15. Brite and fair, we all 
 went to church today to see the 
 Lanes, they come from New York 
 and when they go to church every- 
 body goes to see them, there was a 
 
 [80] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 boy with them named Willie, i bet 
 i cood lick him. 
 
 April 16. Nothing particular to- 
 day, dont feel very well, kind of 
 headaky and backaky. 
 
 April 20. have been sick for 4 
 days, went to school monday and 
 had to come home, when i got home 
 i fell down on the steps and mother 
 and aunt Sarah came out and got me 
 in the house and put water on my 
 head and rubbed my hands, and then 
 the Docter came and said, well Jo- 
 anna, children are a good deel of 
 truble and then he felt of my rist 
 and said hum, and then he looked at 
 my tung and said hum again, and 
 then he pride open my mouth and 
 
 [81] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 looked down my throte and said 
 hum, and then he pulled off my close 
 and looked me over rite before 
 mother and aunt Sarah and said well 
 he aint spekled eny. then he said 
 what have you given him Joanna 
 and mother said, nothing, and the 
 docter said, all right give him some 
 more, and mother said i havent giv- 
 en him enything docter, and then he 
 walked around the room and picked 
 up some things and looked at them 
 and then he gave me some of the 
 wirst tasting stuff i ever took, then 
 he said i gess he will be better to- 
 morrow, and then he looked at some 
 more things and went home, i did- 
 ent sleep very well that nite but was 
 auful hot and my head aked fearful. 
 
 [82] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 mother was in my room every time 
 i waked up, and Sarah too. next day 
 i had the docter again he looked at 
 some pictures and things and told 
 mother to give me some more, i al- 
 ways feel better when the docter 
 comes in. he dont scare a feller to 
 deth. 
 
 Well the next day i felt a little 
 better and tried to sit up and have 
 my britches on, but i had to lay 
 down again my head aked so, and 
 after awhile my head felt better and 
 as i laid there i could look out of the 
 window and it seamed as if little 
 chains that you could see through 
 like glass, were floating up and down, 
 they were about an inch long, well 
 i wached them till i almost went to 
 
 £83] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 sleep and jest as i was most asleep i 
 heard Beany out in the street holler, 
 say Pewt, did you know that Plupy 
 is going to die, and Pewt said course 
 i did, why dont you tell me some 
 news, and Beany said i heard he 
 swalowed a peech stone and Pewt 
 said it was liver complaint, and then 
 i heard some one say, you boys shet 
 up. 
 
 Gosh you bet i was scart. i had- 
 ent thought of dying, i began to 
 howl and holler for mother, she 
 came running in and i told her i was 
 going to die and i told her about 
 breaking the gaslite and a lot of 
 other things and she told me the 
 docter said i was getting better and i 
 wood sit up tomorrow, well i felt 
 
 [64] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 better then and wished i hadent told 
 mother about the gaslite becaus i 
 knew she wood make me tell father, 
 well mother set by my bed all the 
 afternoon and read me some out 
 of Billy Bolegs, jest think of her 
 doing that, so when supper time 
 came i et a lettle tost and had some 
 current jelly, when father come 
 home mother told him about the 
 gaslite and all he said was i wood 
 have to pay for it out of my cornet 
 money, i thought he wood keep me 
 in for a month, i gess mother must 
 have talked to him. 
 
 that nite father slep on a lounge 
 in my room, i went to sleep most as 
 soon as he come in. after awhile i 
 dremp i was tied on a sawlog jest go- 
 
 [85] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 ing nearer and nearer to the saw and 
 the saw was a going skratch-zoo, 
 skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo. well i tride 
 to pull away but i coodent move and 
 i tride to holler and i coodent make 
 a yip, and jest before the saw sawed 
 into me i woke up. gosh you bet i 
 was glad, but the funny part was 
 that i could hear the saw going 
 skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo, skratch- 
 zoo, and what do you think it was. 
 it was father snoring, gosh you 
 ought to have heard him. well at 
 first i lafTed, but by and by i wanted 
 to go to sleep and father snoring so 
 loud i coodent till mother came in 
 and told him to go to bed and she 
 laid on the sofa all nite. the next 
 day i set up and had my britches on 
 
 [86] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 and set up to the window all day. i 
 saw Beany and Pewt and i nocked 
 on the window and waved my claw 
 at them, i am going out tomorrow. 
 
 April 22. i went out today, it 
 was real warm, i dident go to 
 church becaus i had been sick, i let 
 my rooster out to fite J. Albert 
 Clark's, they were fiting good when 
 i looked up and there was father 
 looking over the fence, he made me 
 stop the fite and shet my rooster up. 
 i wonder if he wood have stoped 
 them if i hadent been there, i got 2 
 eggs today, the old brama that i 
 swaped for with Ed Tole and a bol- 
 ten gray that John Adams give me. 
 
 April 23. i went to school today. 
 i dident have to resite becaus i had 
 [87] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 been sick, if i dont get wirse i can 
 go to Mis Packerds concert tomorow. 
 hope it wont rane. 
 
 April 24. brite and fair and it did- 
 ent rane tonite, so i went to the con- 
 cert, all the girls was flowers. Keene 
 was a crocuss and had to come out 
 and sing first becaus the crocuss is 
 the first flower that comes out. she 
 sung i am the first of all the flowers 
 to greet the eyes of spring. 
 
 Jenny Morison was a tuch me not 
 and set in the top of a rock and sung 
 tuch me not, tuch me not let me 
 alone. Nell Tole was a piny or a sun- 
 flower i have forgot whitch. Jenny 
 Morison and Keene and Nell Tole 
 are the best singers for their size in 
 town, father thinks Keene can sing 
 
 [88] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 the best, he feels pretty big about 
 Keene. i told him so one day and he 
 said he had to becaus i dident 
 amount to enything. i think Jenny 
 Morison can sing the best but dont 
 tell him so for he wood give me a 
 bat. 
 
 April 25, 186- Cant go down town 
 for a week becaus i sassed J. Albert 
 Clark, that is J. Albert Clark says i 
 sassed him but i dident. Beany had 
 been working for J. Albert raking up 
 leaves in his garden. J. Albert was 
 a going to give him 10 cents for it 
 and me and Beany was a going to 
 divide up on goozeberries and juju 
 paist, but Beany dident dass to ask 
 J. Albert for his pay because he had 
 raked all the leaves under J. Alberts 
 
 [88] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 front steps and he was afraid J. Al- 
 bert wood find out about it and not 
 pay him. Beany wanted me to ask 
 him but i dident dass to because i let 
 my rooster out to fite J. Alberts last 
 Sunday and J. Albert dont believe 
 in fiting roosters, last night he was 
 setting on his steps with some com- 
 pany and he had on his best lavender 
 britches and his best blew coat. 
 
 So Beany said, tell you what Plu- 
 py, you set on your steps and i will 
 set on my steps and we will holler 
 across the street about the money 
 that J. Albert owes me. So Beany 
 he went across the street to his steps 
 and he hollered over, hi there Plupy 
 have you got any chink, and i hol- 
 lered back, no Beany i havent got a 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 cent, and Beany he hollered i shood 
 have 10 cents if J. Albert Clark 
 wood pay me what he owes me, and 
 i hollered why in time dont he pay 
 you, and Beany hollered i gess he 
 hasent got any chink, and i hollered 
 he has probably spent all his chink 
 in buying them lavender britches, 
 and Beany he hollered, well if J. 
 Albert Clark needs the money more 
 than I do he can have it. well while 
 we was hollering mister Head and 
 •the Head girls who was setting on 
 their steps got up and went into the 
 house laffing, and the company at 
 J. Alberts all lafFed, and J. Albert 
 came down and beckoned to Beany 
 and Beany he went running over to 
 get his 10 cents and J. Albert he 
 
 [91] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 said, Elbridge, that is Beanys name, 
 Elbridge you cood have your money 
 enny time if you had asked me for it 
 decently, but now i shall not pay 
 you for a week and i shall not imploy 
 you enny more. Tell you what, 
 Beany came over to my steps feeling 
 pretty cheap and we was talking 
 about it when mother called me in 
 and sent me up stairs, and said she 
 wood tell father as soon as he came 
 home. So i went up stairs and 
 looked out of the window jest in time 
 to see Beanys father lugging Beany 
 in by the neck. Well that nite after 
 father got home he jawed me and 
 said i coodent go down town for a 
 week and made me go to J. Alberts 
 right before the company and ask his 
 
 [9*3 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 forgiveness, and Beany had to to. J. 
 Albert was a pretty good fellow and 
 said it was all right, and dident want 
 our fathers not to let us go down 
 town, but father said i must learn to 
 be respectable to my elders. Gosh 
 we dident know J. Albert was a el- 
 der. We knowed elder Stevens and 
 elder Stewart and deacon Gooch and 
 we always was respectable to them, 
 and if we had knowed that J. Albert 
 Clark was a elder we woodent have 
 sassed him for nothing. 
 
 April 26. Yesterday and day be- 
 fore it was brite and fair, and yester- 
 day was as warm as summer, today 
 it was cold and it snowed a little, 
 jest enuf to make the ground look 
 as if it was covered with salt, the 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 birds looked all humped up. i bet 
 the frogs hind legs is about froze, it 
 is raining now. if i was a frog i 
 woodent come out of the mud until 
 summer, perhaps they cant stay un- 
 der more than six months. 
 
 April 27. Warm again. 2 eggs 
 today, i have got another hen. 
 Willyam Perry Molton gave it to 
 me. it is a leghorn and his other 
 hens licked it and made its comb 
 bludy and so he gave it to me. it was 
 on the nest today but did not lay. i 
 went to church. Mr. Cram preech- 
 ed. he talked all about birds and 
 flowers and i liked it. 
 
 April 28. brite and fair, all 3 hens 
 were on the nest but dident lay. 
 
 April 29. no eggs today, mother 
 
 [94] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 said the hens cackled all the morn- 
 ing, brite and fair. 
 
 April 30. i dont see what the 
 mater is with my hens, i havent got 
 1 egg this week, father said there 
 was a rat in the koop. i got a steel 
 trap of Sam Diar and tonite i set it 
 in the koop. i put a peace of cheeze 
 on it. tomorrow morning i ges mi* 
 ter rat wont steal any more eggs. 
 
 May 1. what do you think, this 
 morning i got up to get my rat and 
 i found that my best hen, the bolton 
 gray that John Adams gave me had 
 tried to pick the cheeze out of the 
 trap and the trap had caught her by 
 the neck and killed her. i felt most 
 bad enuf to cry. i thought i cood 
 get up before the hen did. i went to 
 
 [95] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 the may brekfast today, it was may- 
 fair day and they had a brekfast. 
 me and Pewt, Beany, Whacker and 
 Pozzy Chadwick, Micky Gould, Pop 
 Clark, Prisilla Hobbs, Chick Chick- 
 ering, Potter Gorham, Pile Wood, 
 Curly Conner and all the fellers were 
 there, we had a good time and et 
 till just before school time and we 
 had to hiper so as not to be late. 
 
 May 2. no eggs today, both hens 
 went on the nest, i am going to lay 
 for that rat with my bowgun. 
 
 May 3. what do you think, this 
 noon i set in the hen koop 1 hour, 
 the brama went on the nest and set 
 a while and came off and cakled, 
 then i looked and she had lade an 
 egg. i left the egg there and hid be- 
 [96 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 hind a barrel and got my bowgun 
 ready for the rat. well the leghorn 
 hen went on the nest and i suposed 
 she was a going to lay, but she broke 
 rite into that egg and began to gob- 
 ble it up. i was so mad that i let 
 ding at her with the bowgun and 
 just then she stuck up her head and 
 the arrow took her rite in the back 
 of the head, well i wish you cood 
 have seen her. she hollered one little 
 pip and then went rite out of the 
 nest backwards and flapped round 
 awful, i picked her up and she was 
 dead, i dident mean to kill her, i 
 only wanted to make her jump and 
 learn her not to eat eggs. O dear, i 
 dont know what father will say when 
 he finds it out. 
 
 [97] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 May 5, 186- Saw a bully fite to- 
 day. Cris Staples and Charlie Clark. 
 Charlie is visiting his uncle J. Albert 
 Clark, the feller that we sassed. that 
 is he said we did but we dident. 
 Charlie is a city feller, he lives in 
 Chelsy and think he knows a pile 
 about things and gets mad if we call 
 him names, now every feller who 
 amounts to anything has a nick- 
 name, and some of them have 2 or 
 3. my nicknames are Plupy and 
 Skinny and Polelegs, and Beany is 
 called Bullethead and sometimes 
 Fatty, i told Charlie that if i called 
 him Charlie the fellers would call 
 him sissy or Mary and he better 
 agree to let me call him bulldog or 
 tomcat or diddly or gobbler or some 
 
 [98] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 nickname whitch wood mean some- 
 thing, but he said he would lam the 
 head off of enny feller which called 
 him names. 
 
 well you jest see what trouble he 
 got into for not having a nickname, 
 he would have knowed better than 
 that if he hadent lived in Chelsy. 
 
 Well today me and Charlie was 
 setting on his steps. Beany was mad 
 because i was going with Charlie and 
 he had gone riding with his father 
 and he felt pretty big because his 
 father let him drive, well while we 
 were setting there along came Cris 
 Staples who carries papers for Lane 
 and Rollins store, and Cris hollered 
 over, hullo Polelegs. Charlie hadent 
 heard enyone call me Polelegs. and 
 
 [99] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 i said, i woodent stand that if i was 
 you Charlie, now less see you lam 
 the head off of him, and Charlie 
 he started across the road and walk- 
 ed up to Cris and said who in time 
 are you calling Polelegs and Cris 
 wasent going to back down and said, 
 you, and Charlie said jest drop them 
 papers and i will nock your face rite 
 off, and Cris dropped his papers and 
 they went at it. it was the best fite 
 i have seen this year, they fit from 
 Mr. Head's down to Gim Ellisons 
 corner, and Cris licked time out of 
 Charlie, and Charlie began to yell 
 and give up and then Cris let go of 
 his hair and told him he was to 
 smart, and that it was me he was 
 calling Polelegs and not him, and he 
 
 [ ioo] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 better not be so smart another time, 
 and Cris he picked up his papers and 
 went off with a great slit in his jac- 
 ket and his necktie way round on 
 one side, and Charlie came home 
 howling and Aunt Clark, Charlie's 
 grandmother came out and said, that 
 is what you get Charlie for quareling. 
 see how much better Harry feels, and 
 i said, yes mam. Charlie is never go- 
 ing to speak to me again. 
 
 May 7. Beany was pretty mad 
 when I told him about the fite be- 
 cause he dident see it. i gess he will 
 find it don't pay to get mad with 
 me. i saw Charlie today but he did- 
 ent speak, he has got a black eye. 
 Cris has got a funny looking nose on 
 one side* 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 May 8. Chitter Robinson went in 
 swiming today, i bet it was cold. 
 
 May 9. Went down to the high 
 school yard tonite to hear the band 
 play, they have got a new leader a 
 Mister Ashman of Boston, he can 
 play the cornet with 1 hand, i went 
 down today to pay the gasman for 
 the gaslite i broke, it cost 1 dollar 
 and i have only got 87 cents for my 
 cornet, sometimes i dont believe i 
 shall ever get that cornet. Scott 
 Brigam can blow a bugle, a bugle 
 is like a cornet only a cornet has 3 
 keys and a bugle is all covered with 
 flappers and curly things where you 
 put your Angers. Rashe Belnap can 
 play a cornet splendid but he dont 
 play very often. Frank Hirvey plays 
 £ 102] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 one that goes over his shoulder way 
 behind his back, gosh i wish i cood 
 get a cornet. 
 
 May 10. father has found out 
 about my killing that hen. he did- 
 ent get mad but said i ought to have 
 cut her head off and she wood be 
 good to eat, but i supose it is to late 
 now for it is almost a week ago and 
 i burried her the next day. 
 
 May 11. me and Potter Gorham 
 went mayflowering today, i got a 
 bunch and sold them to a student 
 named Chizzum for 35 cents, i put 
 it with my cornet money, i have 
 now got $1.22. i can get a cornet 
 for 25 dollars a second hand. one. i 
 am afraid i shall never get that cor- 
 net 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 May 12. Rany last nite and this 
 morning, in the afternoon it cleared 
 up. gosh i wish you cood see the 
 licking Beany got tonite. me and 
 Beany went out to go up to see 
 Pewt and make some sweet fern si- 
 gars. Beany came over for me and 
 went up to Pewts. on the way Bea- 
 ny went up an rung his doorbell and 
 we hid behind the fence and Mister 
 Watson, Beany's father, came out 
 holding a light and shading it with 
 his hand, the wind blew the lite out 
 and in going in again he hit his head 
 an awful bump against the door, me 
 and Beany nearly died laffing only 
 we tride not to lafT too loud, well 
 we went up to Pewts and Pewt had 
 been sent to bed for something and 
 
 El *;) 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 so we started back and met a man 
 who said is this you Elbridge, it was 
 pretty dark and Beany said yes and 
 Mister Watson grabbed us both by 
 the collar and said, so you are the 
 boys who rung my doorbell and then 
 he give Beany a rap on the side of 
 the head and began to shake him 
 round lively and while he was shak- 
 ing Beany up i put for home, i hid 
 behind the fence and i cood hear him 
 say i will learn you to asosiate with 
 that misable Shute boy and wast 
 your time ringing doorbells, and Bea- 
 ny was saying, o father i will never 
 do it again, i nearly died laffing to 
 hear Beany a rattling round on the 
 sidewalk, i hope Mister Watson 
 wont tell father, i gess he wont for 
 
 1 105 3 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 he gets over his mad pretty quick, 
 every time i think of Beanys legs fly- 
 ing round in the air i giggle rite out 
 and when i think of Mister Watson 
 bumping his head i nearly die. some- 
 times i think it pays to be tuff. 
 
 May 13, 186- Keene and Cele have 
 got some new crokay slippers, you 
 bet they feel pretty big about it. 
 
 May 14. nothing particular to- 
 day. 
 
 May 15. Went in swimming to- 
 day, the water was pretty cold but 
 i swum acros the river twise. 
 
 May 16. the suckers have come. 
 Potter Gorham caught three yester- 
 day, me and Potter was going yes- 
 terday after school but father wood- 
 [ 106 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 ent let me becaus i dident split my 
 kindlings. 
 
 May 17. the band played tonight, 
 father made me go to bed at nine 
 but i cood hear it becaus my window 
 is jest acros the road, they are play- 
 ing a new peace, it is the woodup 
 quickstep, they say Ned Kendall 
 cood play it on a bugle better than 
 ennybody. old Robinson cood and 
 Mister Ashman can play it splendid, 
 it goes 
 
 ta-ta tata, ta-ta tata, ta-ta tata 
 
 tatatatatatata. 
 
 ta-te-ta-te-tiddle iddle-a 
 
 ta-te-ta-te-tiddle iddle-a 
 
 ta-te-ta-te-tiddle-iddle-a 
 
 tiddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-ata 
 [107] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 it is the best peace they play except 
 departed days, that always makes 
 me feel like crying it is kinder sad 
 like, i hope i can get my cornet 
 some day. 
 
 May 19. had a auful toothake to- 
 day and had to go down to docter 
 Pitman and he pulled it out. i tell 
 you it hurt. Docter Pitman said 
 the roots must have reached way to 
 the back of my neck. Beany went 
 with me and then told all round that 
 i hollered, you jest wait Beany. 
 
 May 21. erly this afternoon me 
 and Fatty Melcher got some real se- 
 gars at Henry Simsons store and 
 went down behind old man Chur- 
 chills store and smoked them, we 
 were both auful sick and laid there 
 
 [106] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 all the afternoon, when i went home 
 i walked wobbly and mother asked 
 me if i was sick and she put me to 
 bed and was going to send for the 
 docter, but father came in and when 
 he found out what aled me he laffed 
 and said it served me rite, then after 
 supper he set out on the steps rite 
 under my window and smoked a old 
 pipe and i cood smell it and i thought 
 i shood die. then mother asked him 
 to go away and he laffed and said all 
 rite, but he gessed i had enuf for one 
 day and she said she gessed so and i 
 gess so too. he said if it hadent made 
 me sick he wood have licked me. 
 
 i dont see why it is so, father 
 swears sometimes when he hits his 
 thum with a hammer and once when 
 [ 109 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 he was in the dark he was walking 
 towards the door with his arms out 
 to feel for the door, one arm went on 
 one side of the door and the other 
 arm on the other side and he hit his 
 nose a fearful bump rite on the ege 
 of the door, and i wish you cood have 
 heard him swear, well if i swear he 
 licks me, and he smokes and if i do 
 he says he will lick me and he dont 
 go to church and if i dont go he says 
 he will lick me. O dear i gess i wont 
 smoke enny more. 
 
 May 22. Went in swimming to- 
 day twise, once down to the raceway 
 and once up to the gravel. 
 
 May 23. Went butterflying with 
 Chick Chickering today, it is a little 
 early for them, but we got two blew 
 
 i mi 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 and black ones and three little red 
 ones. Me and Chick are making 
 aquariams. Chick has got a splendid 
 glass one. i made mine out of a but- 
 ter firkin, i sawed it off half way and 
 then washed it out with soft soap 
 and rensed it 2 or 3 times and then i 
 put in some white sand and stones 
 and i have got some little minnies 
 and kivies and a little pickerel, it 
 looks splendid and i change the 
 water every 3 days. 
 
 May 24. Nothing particular to- 
 day. 
 
 May 25. i can swim under water 
 from the big tree on Moulton's side 
 of the river at the gravel to the tree 
 on the bank on Gilman's side, i 
 went in 3 times today, 
 [in ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 May 26. My rooster is sick, i gess 
 he has et something, he sits all 
 humped up. i went in swimming 2 
 times today. 
 
 May 27. My rooster is pretty sick, 
 i tride to give him some kiann pep- 
 per tonite. father said kiann pepper 
 was good for sick hens, so i held his 
 mouth open and give him a spoonful, 
 when i let him go he kept his mouth 
 open and sorter sneezed pip -craw 
 pip-craw pip-craw, and then he went 
 to the water dish and began to drink, 
 i think he is better because he had- 
 ent drank any water for 2 days be- 
 fore, he was still drinking when i 
 went away, i gess he will be a lot 
 better tomorrow. 
 
 May 28. What do you think, this 
 
 [112] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 morning when i went out to feed 
 my hens i found my rooster dead, 
 he had drank up all the water and he 
 was all puffed up. i felt pretty bad. 
 father says i gave him enuf kiann 
 pepper for a horse, he aught to have 
 told me. he was a pretty good roos- 
 ter too. i am having pretty tuff 
 luck. 
 
 May 29. i read over my diary to- 
 day, i have forgot to tell whether it 
 was brite and fair or rany, i cant say 
 now. 
 
 May 30, 186- Nothing particular 
 today, brite and fair. 
 
 May 31. brite and fair, went up 
 to Whacker Chadwicks today after 
 school to help him plant his garden, 
 we had about a bushel of potatoes to 
 
 C"3] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 plant and it was fun to sit round a 
 basket and cut up the potatoes, af- 
 ter a while Gim Erly and Luke Man- 
 nux cume along and we began to 
 plug potatoes at them, they plugged 
 them back and we had a splendid 
 fite, me and Whack and Pozzy and 
 Boog Chadwick on one side and Gim 
 Erly and Luke Mannux and Bob 
 Ridly on the other. Luke Mannux 
 hit me twice rite in the back of the 
 head, i am going up tomorrow to 
 help them some more, went in swim- 
 ming once to-day. 
 
 May 32 no i mean June 1. i went 
 up to Chadwicks after school. Cap- 
 tin Chadwick was there and they 
 wasent enny pluggin potatoes, went 
 in swimming. 
 
 [114] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 June 2. Rany. Beany is mad with 
 me. i dont care. 
 
 June 3. went to church today. 
 
 June 4. clowdy but no rane. went 
 up to Chadwicks today and sawed 
 wood. Boog and Pozzy fit while me 
 and Whack sawed wood then we 
 went in swiming down to Sandy 
 Bottom, some body tide some hard 
 gnots in my shirt, i forgot to split 
 my kindlings tonite. 
 
 June 5. brite and fair. Beany is 
 still mad. 
 
 June 6. brite and fair, i know 
 what Beany is mad about, he thinks 
 i told about his getting a licking, i 
 dident tell, he can stay mad if he 
 wants to. 
 
 June 7. father has bought a horse 
 
 C ns ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 of Dan Randlet. i rode up to Brent- 
 wood with Sam Diar to get it. it is 
 the prettiest horse i ever saw. i rode 
 it down from Brentwood and it goes 
 jest as easy as sitting on a spring 
 board, when i got home Beany got 
 over his mad and came over and i 
 gave him a ride, me and Beany 
 never were mad so long before. 
 
 June 9. Rany. this afternoon me 
 and Beany and father went to ride 
 with the new horse, her name is 
 Nellie. 
 
 June 10. brite and fair, we keep 
 Nellie down to Jo Hanes stable. 
 Frank Hanes is learning me how to 
 clean her off! she nipped my arm to- 
 day and made a black and blew spot, 
 went in swimming today. 
 
 [116] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 i have to get up every morning 
 and harnes Nelly and drive father to 
 the depot, i like it because i always 
 race with the men coming down 
 front street, there is George Dergin 
 and Fred Sellivan and Gim Wingit 
 and i can beat them all. i dont tell 
 father that i race, i rode Nellie this 
 afternoon with Frank Hanes and Ed 
 Tole. i dident go in swimming to- 
 day. 
 
 June 11. brite and fair. Nellie 
 kicked me today, i gess i scrached 
 her today to hard with the cury- 
 comb. it dident hurt me much, i 
 went in swimming twise. 
 
 June 12. brite and fair. Me and 
 Chick Chickering went bullfroging 
 today, we got 3 dozen hind legs and 
 £ 117] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 sold them to Mr. Hirvey for 30 cents 
 and took our pay in icecream. 
 
 June 13. Rode Nellie this noon, i 
 have to go to the half past five train 
 every nite for father, i like to drive 
 but i dont like to go every nite. 
 
 June 14. Rashe Belnap and Hor- 
 ris Cobbs go in swimming every 
 morning at six o'clock, i got a lick- 
 ing today that beat the one Beany 
 got. last summer me and Tomtit 
 Tomson and Cawcaw Harding and 
 Whack and Poz and Boog Chadwick 
 went in swimming in May and all 
 thru the summer until October, one 
 day i went in 10 times, well i dident 
 say anything about it to father so as 
 not to scare him. well today he did- 
 ent go to Boston and he said i am 
 
 [118] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 going to teech you to swim, when i 
 was as old as you i cood swim said he, 
 and you must lern, i said i have been 
 wanting to lern to swim, for all the 
 other boys can swim, so we went 
 down to the gravil and i peeled off 
 my close and got ready, now said he, 
 you jest wade in up to your waste and 
 squat down and duck your head un- 
 der, i said the water will get in my 
 nose, he said no it wont jest squat 
 rite down, i cood see him laffin when 
 he thought i wood snort and sputter, 
 so i waded out a little ways and 
 then div in and swam under water 
 most across, and when i came up i 
 looked to see if father was supprised. 
 gosh you aught to have seen him. 
 he had pulled oft' his coat and vest 
 
 £119 3 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 and there he stood up to his waste 
 in the water with his eyes jest bug- 
 ging rite out as big as hens eggs, and 
 he was jest a going to dive for my 
 dead body, then i turned over on 
 my back and waved my hand at him. 
 he dident say anything for a minute, 
 only he drawed in a long breth. then 
 he began to look foolish, and then 
 mad, and then he turned and started 
 to slosh back to the bank where he 
 slipped and went in all over. When 
 he got to the bank he was pretty 
 mad and yelled for me to come out. 
 when i came out he cut a stick and 
 whaled me, and as soon as i got home 
 he sent me to bed for lying, but i 
 gess he was mad becaus i about scart 
 the life out of him. but that nite i 
 
 [120] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 heard him telling mother about it 
 and he said that he div 3 times for 
 me in about thirty feet of water, but 
 he braged about my swiming and 
 said i cood swim like a striped frog. 
 i shall never forget how his boots 
 went kerslosh kerslosh kerslosh when 
 we were skinning home thru cros- 
 lots. i shall never forget how that 
 old stick hurt either, ennyhow he 
 dident say ennything about not go- 
 ing in again, so i gess i am all rite. 
 
 June 15, 186- Johnny Heeld, a 
 student, came to me and wanted me 
 to carry some tickets to a dance 
 round to the girls in the town, there 
 was about 1 hundred of them, he read 
 the names over to me and i said i 
 knew them all. so after school me 
 
 [ 121 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 and Beany started out and walked 
 all over town and give out the tick- 
 ets, i had a long string of names 
 and every time i wood leave one i 
 wood mark out the name, i dident 
 give the Head girls any because they 
 told father about some things that 
 me and Beany and Pewt did and the 
 Parmer girls and the Cilley girls liv- 
 ed way up on the plains and i dident 
 want to walk up there, so when i 
 went over to Hemlock side to give 
 one, i went over to the factory board- 
 ing house and give some to them, 
 they was auful glad to get them too 
 and said they would go to the dance, 
 some people was not at home and so 
 i gave their tickets to the next house, 
 it took me till 8 o'clock and i got 1 
 C 122] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 dollar for it. i dont beleive those 
 girls that dident get their tickets 
 will care much about going ennyway. 
 i gess the Head girls wont want to 
 tell on me another time. 
 
 June 16. Dennis Cokely and 
 Tomtit Tomson had a fite behind 
 Hirvey's resterent today. Hirvey 
 stopped them jest as they were hav- 
 ing a good one. Thats jest the way. 
 i dont see why they always want to 
 stop a fite. All fellers fite for is to 
 see which can lick, and how can they 
 tell unless they fite it out. 
 
 June 17. Brite and fair. They is 
 going to be a big cattle show here 
 this fall. They are going to have it 
 in a field up by the depot. They are 
 going to have horse trots and shows 
 
 [123] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 and everything. We are going to 
 have no school, it dont come for an 
 auful while yet. Charles Taylor is 
 going to have Nelly to ride. 
 
 June 18. Me and Mickey Gould 
 had a race horseback, he had one of 
 Ben Merril's little black horses, we 
 raced way round Kensington ring, i 
 cood beat trotting and he cood beat 
 running, when i got home Nelly 
 was so swetty that father told me 
 not to ride her for a week. 
 
 June 19. Went up to Chadwicks 
 after school. Boog and Whack got 
 Willie fiting with Johnny Rogers. 
 Willie licked him. Willie is Whack's 
 h'ttle brother, he is a auful cunning 
 little feller, he can fite too. all the 
 Chadwick's can fite. 
 [ 124J 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 June 20. Brite and fair, i am go- 
 ing fishing tonite with Potter Gor- 
 ham. 
 
 June 21. brite and fair, went 
 fishing today with Potter Gorham. 
 i cought 5 pirch and 4 pickeril. i 
 cleaned them and we had them for 
 supper, father said they was the best 
 fish he ever et. i also cought the 
 biggest roach i ever saw, almost as 
 big as a sucker, and i cant tell what 
 i did with him. i thought Potter 
 had hooked him for fun, but he said 
 he dident, and we hunted every- 
 where for him. i dont know where i 
 put that roach. 
 
 June 22. the students had their 
 dance last nite. they had a auful 
 time, some of the girls which dident 
 C 125] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 get no tickets was mad, and the 
 students which wanted them to go 
 was mad and they went to Johnny 
 Heeld and give him time, then he 
 went round and told them how it 
 was and give them tickets, well the 
 nite of the dance everything was all 
 rite until lots of people came which 
 hadent been on the list, but which 
 we had given tickets, well the stu- 
 dents dident want to let them in and 
 they were mad, and Chick Randal 
 hit a student named Pendry rite in 
 the nose and nocked his glasses off 
 and Nichols nocked Johnny Lord 
 way acros the entry and they was 
 going to have a big fite when Bob 
 Carter and 2 or 3 men stoped it. to- 
 day Johnny Heeld came down to 
 
 [ 126] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 the house and said i had got things 
 all mixed up and father made me 
 give back the dollar, but he told 
 Johnny Heeld he hadent ought to 
 have let me try such a hard job. 
 Gosh, i am glad father thinks it was 
 a mistake, and dont know that i did 
 it on purpose. 
 
 June 23. there is a dead rat in the 
 wall in my room, it smells auful. 
 
 June 24. Rany. most time for 
 vacation, the smell in my room is 
 fearful. 
 
 June 25. more trouble today, it 
 seems as if there wasent any use in 
 living, nothing but trouble all the 
 time, mother said i coodent sleep in 
 that room until the rat was taken 
 out. well father he came into my 
 
 [127] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 room and sniffed once and said, 
 whew, what a almity smell, then 
 he held his nose and went out and 
 came back with mister Staples the 
 father of the feller that called me 
 Polelegs. well he came in and put 
 his nose up to the wall and sniffed 
 round until he came to where my 
 old close hung, then he said, thun- 
 der George, this is the place, rite be- 
 hind this jacket, it is the wirst smell 
 i ever smelt, then he threw my close 
 in a corner and took out his tools 
 and began to dig a hole in the wall, 
 while father and mother and aunt 
 Sarah stood looking at him and hold- 
 ing their nose, after he dug the hole 
 he reached in but dident find enny- 
 thing, then he stuck in his nose and 
 
 [ 128] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 said, it dont smell enny in there, 
 then they all let go of their nose and 
 took a sniff and said murder it is 
 wirse than ever it must be rite in the 
 room somewhere, then father said 
 to me, look in those close and see if 
 there is ennything there, so i looked 
 and found in the poket of my old 
 jaket that big roach that i lost, 
 when i went fishing with Potter 
 Gorham. it was all squashy and 
 smelt auful. father was mad and 
 made me throw the jaket out of the 
 window and wont let me go fishing 
 for a week, ennyway i know now 
 what became of my roach. 
 
 June 26. Keene and Cele are go- 
 ing to sing in the Unitarial quire, 
 father says he will give them some 
 [ 129] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 bronze boots, mother got them some 
 new nets for their hair today, girls 
 has lots more done for them than 
 fellers. 
 
 June 27, 186- Brite and fair, 
 school closed today, we dont have 
 enny more school til September, 
 snapcrackers have come. 8 cents a 
 bunch at old Langlys store. Lane 
 and Rollins sell them for 10 cents, 
 torpedos 8 cents a bunch, pin wheels 
 1 cent each. Pewt is going to have 
 a cannon, father wont let me have 
 a cannon, he says i dont know enny 
 more than to look into it and blow 
 my head off! 
 
 June 28. clowdy but no rane. 4th 
 of July pretty soon, father says 
 when he was a boy all they had for 
 C 130] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 fireworks was balls of wool soaked in 
 tirpentine whitch they lit and fired 
 round, i am glad i did not live 
 then. 
 
 June 30. clowdy but no rane. 
 went in swimming 3 times today, i 
 am going bullfroging monday. 
 
 June 31. no July 1. Went to 
 church today. 
 
 July 2. i went bullfroging today, 
 thunder storm today. 
 
 i have got 10 bunches of snapcrack- 
 ers and some slowmatch. i spent a 
 dolar of my cornet money, i gess i 
 shall never get that cornet, i hope 
 it wont rane the 4th. 
 
 July 3. Nite before 4th. Pewt and 
 Beany can stay out all nite. father 
 took my snapcrackers into his room 
 
 [ 131 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 and said if i get up before 5 i cant 
 have enny. 
 
 July 4. i am to tired to wright 
 enny thing, i never had so much 
 fun in my life, i only got burned 5 
 times. 1 snapcracker went off rite 
 in my face and i coodent see enny- 
 thing til mother washed my eyes 
 out. Zee Smith fired a torpedo and 
 a peace of it flew rite in the corner 
 of my eye and made a blew spot 
 there, i fired every one of my 
 snapcrackers. it took me all 
 day. 
 
 July 5. brite and fair, i dident 
 wake up today til 10 o'clock, i was 
 pretty sore and my eyes felt as if they 
 was sawdust in them. 
 
 July 6. brite and fair, father staid 
 [ 132 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 home today, i wanted him to go 
 fishing but he woodent. 
 
 July 7. father told me i cood go 
 fishing and stay all day. i dont know 
 what had come over him becaus most 
 always he raises time when i go fish- 
 ing and dont come home erly. so i 
 went and cought 3 pickerels and 4 
 pirch and 2 hogbacks and went in 
 swiming 2 times, well as i was a 
 coming home 2 or 3 people met me 
 and said they was company at my 
 house, so when i got home i skined 
 in the back way so as not to see the 
 company til i got on my best britch- 
 es, but i met father in the door and 
 he told me to go rite up to mothers 
 room and see the company, so i 
 skined up to her room holding my 
 [ 133] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 hand behind me becaus i had tore my 
 britches auful getting over a fence 
 and i dident want the company to 
 see. well what do you think the 
 company was. it was the homliest 
 baby you ever see, it looked jest like 
 a munky and made feerful faces and 
 kinder squeaked like. Mother was 
 sick and they was a old fat woman 
 who told me to go out, but mother 
 said she wanted to see me and she 
 kissed me and asked me to kiss the 
 baby, i dident want to but i did it 
 becaus mother was sick, mother 
 asked me how many fish i caught 
 and what kind and i told her and said 
 she shood have some for her supper, 
 but she said she gessed she woodent 
 have enny jest then. 
 
 [ 134 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 then i went down stairs and father 
 ^aid did i like the baby and i said it 
 was homly, and he said it was 10 
 times as good looking as i was and 
 he said he was glad that when the 
 baby grode up it woodent have Beany 
 and Pewt to play with and woodent 
 be tuff like me, and then Aunt Sarah 
 said she gessed me and Beany and 
 Pewt wasent enny tuflfer than father 
 and Gim Melcher were when they 
 was boys, and then father lafFed and 
 told me to go to bed and i went, 
 that was a auful homly baby enny- 
 way. 
 
 July 8. nothing particular today, 
 you bet that baby can howl, went 
 to church. 
 
 July 9, brite and fair, most every 
 [ 135 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 morning we go up in mothers room 
 to see the old fat woman wash the 
 baby and hear it howl, it turns black 
 in the face, i bet it will be a fiter. 
 
 July 10. i have got a new nick- 
 name, it is yallerlegs. that is becaus 
 father bought me a pair of kinder 
 yellow britches, and made me wear 
 them, i bet he woodent like to be 
 called yallerlegs. 
 
 July 11. brite and fair, went in 
 swiming today to a new place, we 
 call it the stump, it is up by the 
 eddy. 
 
 July 12. a thunder storm, in the 
 afternoon went fishing but dident 
 get a bite. Pewts father says fish 
 wont bite after a thunder storm. 
 
 July 13. a auful hot day. tonite 
 [ 136 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 i went up to the depot to see Majer 
 Blake and Charles Tole fite over pas- 
 sengers to the beach. 
 
 July 14. i am going to the beach 
 to stop with Beany in his fathers 
 tent, it is called hotel de pig. 
 
 July 15. i gess i will go tomor- 
 row. 
 
 July 16. me and Beany went to 
 the beach and stopped all day and all 
 nite. we had a bully time. 
 
 July 17. another hot day. went 
 in swiming 4 times, my back is all 
 burned. 
 
 July 18. me and Beany got in the 
 newsleter today, the paper said the 
 Siamese twins was at the beach stop- 
 ing at Watsons tent. Pewt was mad 
 becaus we got in the paper and he 
 [137] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 dident and told all round that it did- 
 ent mean me and Beany but Rashe 
 Belnap and Horris Cobbs. 
 
 July 19. Hot as time, nothing 
 particular today. 
 
 July 20. Hot as time, nothing 
 particular today. 
 
 July 21. Auful hot. big thunder 
 shower and litening struck a tree in 
 front of Perry Moltons house. 
 
 July 22. Went to church. Beany 
 let the wind out of the organ and it 
 squeaked and made everybody laflf. 
 Keene and Cele sing in the quire, 
 father feels pretty big about it. 
 
 July 23. i got stung by hornets 
 today, i went in swiming at the ed- 
 dy and when i was drying my close 
 i set rite down on a stump where 
 
 [ 138 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 there was a nest of yellow bellied 
 hornets, they all lit on me and i 
 thought i was afire for a minit. i 
 ran and div rite off the bank and 
 swam way out under water, when i 
 came up they were buzing round jest 
 where i went down, when i came 
 out the fellers put mud on my bites 
 and after a while they stoped hurt- 
 ing, i tell you the fellers jest died 
 laffing to see me run and holler. 
 
 July 24. Brite and fair, i was all 
 sweled up with hornet bites but 
 they dident hurt enny, i looked jest 
 like Beany when he had the mumps, 
 everyone laffed at me. 
 
 July 25. i got a fishhook in my 
 leg today, me and Fatty Melcher 
 was a fishing when we got our lines 
 
 [139] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 tangled, i hollered first cut, but i 
 dident have enny nife and Fatty 
 woodent let me have his nife. So we 
 got jerking our lines kinder mad like 
 and all of a suddin the hook got into 
 my leg. gosh you bet it hurt, me 
 and Fatty got the hook out but it 
 bled some, the worst of it was there 
 was a wirm on the hook and when 
 we got the hook out they wasent 
 enny wirm there. Fatty says people 
 sometimes dies from having wirms 
 in them, i bet this one has crawled 
 way in. it may grow inside of me. 
 something is always hapening to 
 me. when i got home i went down 
 to docter Derborns store and bought 
 some wirm medicine and swalowed 
 [ 140 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 sum. it was auful bitter, it cost 20 
 cents out of my cornet money. 
 
 July 26. brite and fair, i was all 
 rite today except my leg was stiff! 
 mother asked what made me lame 
 and she put on a peace of pork, i 
 told her about the wirm and she said 
 the pork wood draw him out if he 
 was there but she gessed he dident 
 go in. when i told her about the 
 wirm medecine she jest set down and 
 lafFed. so i gess i needent wory 
 about having wirms. i went down 
 to doctor Derborns and tride to get 
 him to take the medicine back but 
 he said he woodent. i think he is 
 pretty mean not to. 
 
 July 27. i coodent go in swiming 
 [ 141 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 today on account of my leg. all the 
 fellers went in and i had to set on 
 the bank and see them. 
 
 July 28. Coodent go in swiming 
 today either, my leg is nearly well, 
 mother took off the pork today, it 
 was all white where the pork was. 
 i can go in swiming Monday, i went 
 down to the library tonite. it is the 
 first time i have been down since Joe 
 Parsons chased me out. i gess he has 
 forgotten it. i got out Bush Boys to 
 read, it is a splendid book about 
 shooting lions and zebras and gerafs 
 and everything. 
 
 July 29. i tried to have father let 
 me stay away from church today be- 
 cause my leg was sore but he said all 
 rite you can stay, but i gess that leg 
 [ 142 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 will be too sore to let you go in 
 swiming this week, so i went to 
 church and dident limp enny. this 
 afternoon i set under the apple tree 
 and read Bush Boys, father and mo- 
 ther went to ride with Nellie, it is 
 the first time mother has been out. 
 Aunt Sarah took care of the baby, 
 they gess they will name it Edward 
 Ashman Shute. i gess it is named 
 Ashman after the leader of the band, 
 i am going to tell him tomorrow and 
 see if he wont sell me a cornet on 
 trust, brite and fair. 
 
 July 30. Brite and fair, i told fa- 
 ther i was going down to see Mr, 
 Ashman, and he said if you ever do 
 i will lick you. the babys name is 
 Edward Ashton Shute and not Ash- 
 [ 143] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 man, i woodent name him for enny 
 cornet player, it is pretty tuff luck, 
 if i cood have got that cornet i wood- 
 ent have minded a licking, went in 
 swiming today. 
 
 July 31. Franky had the croop 
 last nite. i waked up and heard him 
 cough auful funny and kinder as if 
 his throte was tite. i called mother 
 and she came in and hollered for 
 Aunt Sarah and father and they 
 rushed round lively and gave him egg 
 and sugar and put hot cloths on his 
 throte til he howled and after he cood 
 howl he was all well. Aunt Sarah 
 took him in with her the rest of the 
 nite. father said i was a brick to 
 wake up and call them, i dont know 
 [ 144 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 vviieri he has called me a brick before, 
 went in swiming 3 times to-day. 
 
 Aug. 1. brite and fair. Annie 
 tumbled down the front steps from 
 the top to the bottom, she howled 
 and mother thought she was about 
 killed but she was so fat that she did- 
 ent hurt her. 
 
 Aug. 2. father came home early- 
 to-day and took mother and Aunt 
 Sarah and Keene & Georgie to ride. 
 Me and Cele staid to look after the 
 house. Cele went up stairs to look 
 after the baby and when she was 
 gone i got Annie and Franky fiting. 
 it was the funniest fite i ever saw. 
 they jest pushed each other round 
 and tried to claw each other, while 
 [ 145 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 they was fiting Cele came down stairs 
 and pulled them apart and boxed 
 their ears and made them go in 
 different rooms. She jawed me and 
 said she wood tell father, when fa- 
 ther came home she told on me and 
 father sent me to bed at six o'clock. 
 You jest wait Cele and you will find 
 out. 
 
 Aug. 3, 186- brite and fair, the 
 fellers played a pretty mean trick on 
 me tonite. they played it on Nibby 
 Hartwel last nite. Nibby is visiting 
 his aunt and comes from the city and 
 is pretty green like most folks from 
 the city, you see if i hadent got sent 
 to bed becaus Cele told on me i wood 
 have been there and seen them play 
 it on Nibby. well last nite all the 
 [ 146 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 fellers was out. Whack and Boog 
 and Pozzy and Pewt and Beany and 
 Nipper and Cawcaw and Pile and 
 Chick and Micky and Pricilla and 
 Fatty. Nibby he was there too. 
 they wanted to play lead the old 
 blind horse to water and i was to be 
 the blind horse, they said they had 
 some fun playing it the nite before, 
 that was when they played it on 
 Nibby but i dident know that. Well 
 you blindfole a feller and give him a 
 rope and a swich and the other fellers 
 get on the other end of the rope and 
 the feller nearest you has a bell and 
 rings it and you pull and if you can 
 pull him up to you, you can paist 
 time out of him with your swich, 
 only if you pull off your blindfole 
 
 [147] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 all the fellers can paist time out of 
 you. Well they blindfoled me and 
 hollered ready and i began to yank 
 and pull and the feller rung his bell 
 and he came pretty hard at first but 
 i kept yanking and bimeby he come 
 so quick that i nearly fell over back 
 wards and i felt him and grabed him 
 and began to paist time out of him 
 when he grabed away my swich and 
 began to paist me, and that wasent 
 fair and i pulled off my blindfole and 
 who do you suppose it was, well it 
 was Wiliam Perry Molton and he 
 was mad. they had tied me to his 
 door bell and i had yanked out almost 
 ten feet of wire, when i saw who it 
 was gosh i began to holler and he 
 stoped licking me. i gess he never 
 
 [ 1*8] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 licked anyone before because he did- 
 ent know jest how to lay it on. well 
 when he found out how it was he let 
 me go but he said he shood have to 
 do something about the boys distirb- 
 ing him so. it was a pretty mean 
 trick to play on a feller, we are go- 
 ing to try arid play it on Pop Clark 
 tomorrow nite. 
 
 Aug. 4. brite and fair, me and 
 Hiram Mingo had a race today to 
 see whitch cood swim the furtherest 
 under water, i beat him easy, he 
 can lick me but i can beat him swim- 
 ing. 
 
 Aug. 5. Nothing particular today, 
 only church. 
 
 Aug. 6. the baby was sick today, 
 had the doctor. 
 
 [ 149 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 Aug. 7. the baby was sicker, i 
 dident go in swiming. 
 
 Aug. 8. the baby is better today, 
 i went in swiming 5 times. 
 
 Aug. 9. Raned all day. The baby 
 is all rite, i went bullfroging with 
 Chick Chickering. 
 
 Aug. 10. Nellie is sick. JoeHanes 
 cut a hole in her and put in a onion 
 and some braded hair and then father 
 took her out to pastur. i cant ride 
 her for a month. 
 
 Aug. 11. brite and fair, mister 
 Watson, Beanys father got throwed 
 off of his horse today and renched 
 his rist. the horse coodent have 
 throwed him but the gert broke. 
 Mister Watson can ride splendid. 
 
 [ 150 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 Aug- 12. brite and fair. No more 
 church this month, bully. 
 
 Aug. 13. brite and fair, i went 
 down to Ed Toles and me and Ed 
 rode on the hack with Joe Parmer. 
 
 Aug. 14. Ed Tole and Frank 
 Hanes are mad. Frank hollered over 
 to Ed, Ed Tole fell in a hole and 
 coodent get out to save his sole, and 
 Ed hollered back Frank Hanes aint 
 got no branes. and then they was 
 mad. 
 
 Aug. 15. Wiliam Perry Molton 
 has got some ripe apples in his back 
 yard, me and Pewt helped him ketch 
 some hens today and he said we cood 
 have some apples if they was any on 
 the ground, they was only 2 wirmy 
 
 [ 151 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 ones but before we left 5 or 6 fell off 
 i gess it was becaus Pewt pushed me 
 agenst the tree, they was pretty 
 good apples too. 
 
 Aug. 16. Rany. i went fishing 
 with Potter Gorham. caught 3 roach 
 and 5 hornpowt. we et them for sup- 
 per, father said i can clean fish most 
 as well as he can. he says he will 
 come home some day erly and go a 
 fishing. 
 
 Aug. 17. John Gardner has hung 
 up a Grant and Colfax flag, they 
 will be some fun this fall. 
 
 Aug. 18. brite and fair. Today i 
 went fishing with Fatty Melcher. 
 we caught some ells and some horn- 
 powt, ells and hornpowt can live a 
 [ 152 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 long time out of water and so when 
 i got home i put 5 that were alive in 
 the rane water barril. 
 
 Aug. 19. brite and fair, it is fun 
 to sit round all day Sunday and not 
 have to go to church. 
 
 Aug. 20. brite and fair, i had to 
 spend the whole morning in going to 
 the river for water for washing, it 
 was wash day and when mother 
 went to the rane water barril there 
 was 5 dead hornpowt floting on the 
 top. she made me tip the barrel over 
 and get water from the river, they 
 was some fun for Beany helped me 
 and he stood in the hand cart and 
 filled the tubs and all of a sudden i 
 let go and the old cart flew up and 
 [ 153 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 Beany and the tub and the pail and 
 everything went rite in. Beany isent 
 going to speak to me ever again. 
 
 Aug. 21, 186- Gosh, we are hav- 
 ing fun now. what do you think, 
 they is going to be a big mass meet- 
 ing this fall. Ben Butler and Jake 
 Ely and lots of old pelters are going 
 to be here, and they is going to be 4 
 or 5 bands and lots of fun well be- 
 fore that comes they is going to be 
 lots of political meetings and the first 
 one is to be next week, and father is 
 going to make a speach. Gim Luv- 
 erin and Bil Morrill and General 
 Marsten and Tom Levitt, and he is 
 a ripper to holler, and they want fa- 
 ther to make a speach. father says 
 he must work for the party and per- 
 
 [ 154 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 haps he can get his salery rased, so 
 he has been a riting every nite and 
 mumbling it over to hisself and last 
 nite he said he had got it. tonite he 
 is a going to speak it to us. 
 
 Aug. 22. last nite father studed 
 his speach over and let us stay up to 
 hear it. he stood up and looked auful 
 stirn and put one hand in the buzum 
 of his shert. i coodent help laffin, 
 but he told me to shet up or i cood 
 go to bed and so i shet up. i tell you 
 it was fine. It begun Mister Moddi- 
 rator had i suposed, or for 1 moment 
 dremp that i a humble otfis holder 
 under this glorious government, 
 wood have been called upon to speak, 
 i shood have remained at home with 
 my wife and my children. 
 
 [ 155 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 i said, if you dont want to make a 
 speach why dont you stay at home 
 that nite, and he said 1 more word 
 from you sir and you go to bed. so i 
 dident yip again. 
 
 then he went on like this, were it 
 not that a crool axident in my erly 
 youth, in my far away boyhood days 
 prevented me from voluntearing and 
 desecrating my life to my countrys 
 welfare, in the strugle jest ended i 
 wood have poared out evry drop of 
 my blud to have maintaned her 
 owner and the owner of her flag, 
 mother began to laif and said George 
 how can you tell such feerful stories, 
 you know you were scart most to 
 deth becaus you was afraid you wood 
 be drafted. 
 
 [ 156 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 father said they was a lot of old 
 fellows traveling round the country 
 and talking that way who coodent 
 have been drug into the war with a 
 ox chane. then he stood on the oth- 
 er leg a while and said, it is peculi- 
 arly aproprate that Exeter, the berth 
 place of Lewis Cas, the educater of 
 Webster, the home of Amos Tuck, 
 of General Marston shood be four- 
 most in the party strife, and as for 
 me i wirk only for my partys good, 
 my countrys good, without feer or 
 hope of reward, they was a lot more 
 to it, and some of it you cood hear 
 about a mile he hollered so. 
 
 Aug. 23. We are all going the nite 
 of the rally, mother says she wont 
 go for she wood be ashamed to hear 
 
 [ 157] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 father tell such dredful stories. 
 Aunt Sarah dont want to go because 
 she is afraid father will brake down, 
 but she has got to go with me and 
 Keene and Cele and Georgie. 
 
 Aug. 24. father practised his 
 speach tonite and we all hollered and 
 claped at the fine parts, he has got 
 a new pair of boots, they hurt like 
 time and he only wears them nites 
 when he is practising his speach. 
 
 Aug. 25. father licked me tonite 
 becaus i spoke some of his speach to 
 Beany, he was auful mad and said i 
 was the bigest fool he ever see. the 
 fellers have got up a Grant Club. 
 Pricilla cant belong becaus he is a 
 demicrat. 
 
 Aug. 26. father called me and Be- 
 ll 158 J 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 any out behind the barn tonite and 
 gave us 10 cents apeace if we wood- 
 ent say enything about his speach. 
 after supper father practised again 
 but he dident holler so loud becaus 
 he was afraid some body wood hear 
 him and mother dident want him to 
 wake up the baby, and it was Sunday 
 too. 
 
 Aug. 27. it has been brite and fair 
 all the week and hot as time, i have 
 to go to the river for soft water be- 
 cause it hasent raned eny since i had 
 to tip over the rane water barril. i 
 have got a little tirtle as big as a 
 cent, father went down to General 
 Marstons office tonite to arrange 
 about the rally, he came home and 
 practised about an hour, i gess he 
 
 [ 150 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 wood have practised all nite if the 
 baby hadent waked up an hollered. 
 
 Aug. 28. we are all getting ready 
 for the rally. Keene and Cele and 
 Georgie have got some new plad 
 dresses, father has got a pair of gray 
 britches and a black coat, mother 
 said the rally was a good thing be- 
 caus it was the first time she had 
 seen father dressed up since he was 
 married. 
 
 Aug. 29. they was a big thunder 
 shower last nite. we all got up in 
 the nite and went into mothers 
 room, mother sat on the fether bed 
 and all them that was scart cood set 
 there, i wasent scart. father said it 
 wood be jest the cussid luck to have 
 it rane the nite of the rally. 
 [ 160] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 Aug. 30. we had the last practise 
 tonite, father put on his best close 
 and new boots and the girls had on 
 their plad dresses and i had on a new 
 paper coller. we all set down and fa- 
 ther came in and stood up. i tell you 
 he looked fine, well he begun, mis- 
 ter modderater had i suposed or for 1 
 moment dremp, and then he forgot 
 the rest, i tell you he was mad. i 
 wanted to lafF but dident dass to. 
 well after a while he remembered and 
 went through it all rite, and then he 
 went over it 2 times more, gosh 
 what if he shood forget it tomorrow 
 nite. he is going to wright some of 
 it on his cufs and he practised tonite 
 making jestures so as to bring his 
 cufs; up so that he cood read it. 
 
 [161] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 Aug. 31. the rally is tonite. father 
 woke us all up last nite hollering in 
 his sleep, he dremp about the speach. 
 this morning he went to Boston 
 without eating his brekfast. i gess 
 he is begining to be scart. i am a 
 going to make his boots shine today, 
 gosh what if he shood brake down, i 
 gess i am getting a little scart too. 
 brite and fair. 
 
 Sept. 1. Last nite father came 
 home and the first thing he did was 
 to send me down to miss Pratts for 
 his shert. it was all pollished and 
 shone like glass, then he asked if i 
 had blacked his boots and then he et 
 supper, he dident eat much though, 
 he said Mr. Tuck came down from 
 Boston with him. Mr. Tuck was a 
 [ 162] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 going to make a speach first and 
 then he was going to introduce Gim 
 Loverin as chairman and then Gim 
 Loverin was a going to call on father, 
 father said he bet 5 dollars he wood 
 call him Gim instead of mister mod- 
 derater. father was pretty cross at 
 supper, i gess he was getting scart. 
 the baby began to cry and father 
 asked mother why she dident choak 
 the squawling brat and mother sorter 
 laffed and put the baby into fathers 
 lap and said i gess you had better 
 choak him. father laffed and began 
 to toss the baby up and down, he 
 likes the baby and while he was play- 
 ing with it he was all rite, but after 
 supper he was cross and said he hed 
 a auful headake. then he went prac- 
 [ 163 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 tising his speach again so as not to 
 call the modderater Gim. well we 
 got ready and went down erly to get 
 some good seats so as to hear father 
 and see him come in with them that 
 was to set on the platform, we 
 wanted to go down with father but 
 he said he coodent bother with us. 
 but before we went he came down 
 stairs with his new close on and he 
 looked fine but his face looked auful 
 white, he said he had a headake but 
 as soon as he got started to speak it 
 wood all go off. so we went down. 
 Cele had her hair curled and Keene 
 had a new red silk ribbon on her hair 
 becaus her hair wont curl and Aunt 
 Sarah had on a new dolman with 
 beeds on it and some long coral ear- 
 [ 164 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 rings and they all looked line. Aunt 
 Sarah took Georgie by the hand be- 
 caus she was the littlest and me and 
 Keene and Cele followed on. 
 
 When we got there the band was 
 playing in front of the town hall and 
 aunt Sarah said i cood stay out and 
 hear it and then said i cood sit with 
 Gim Wingit and Willy Swet if i 
 wood behave, i said i wood and we 
 lissened and after the band went in 
 we went too. most all the seats were 
 taken and we got some bully seats 
 way up in front, i looked for father 
 but coodent see him becaus the 
 speakers hadent come in. well jest 
 as soon as we got in the policeman 
 was up in front and he said they has 
 been to much whisling and stamping 
 C 165 1 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 and the next one that whisles or 
 stamps will get put out. well they 
 was old Swane and Brown and Kize 
 and Dirgin and every body kept 
 quiet, after a few minits the band 
 began to play hale to the chief and 
 the speakers came marching up the 
 middle ile. i looked for father but 
 he wasnt there, evrybody began to 
 clap and stamp and Gim and Willy 
 asked me where my old man was. i 
 stood up to see if he was there and 
 jest then i saw the policeman a rush- 
 ing at me. he grabed me by the col- 
 lar and shook me round till i dident 
 know which end my head was on 
 and he draged me down the ile and 
 threw me out. as we were going 
 down the ile i saw Aunt Sarah run- 
 
 [ 166] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 ning down the other ile as fast as she 
 cood go with her bonnet on the back 
 of her head and Keene and Cele and 
 Georgie following along all bawling, 
 she got out in the entry jest as he 
 was going to put me out of the front 
 door and she grabed me away from 
 him and said you misable cowardly 
 retch to treat a boy that way. he 
 said i whisled and she said he dident 
 and you knew it only you dident 
 dass take ennyone else. 
 
 Then she told us to come home 
 and we went home as fast as we cood 
 all bawling, when we got home mo- 
 ther was sitting up alone and aunt 
 Sarah started to tell her and Keene 
 and Cele and Georgie all bawled and 
 you never heard such a noise, and 
 
 [167] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 father was in bed with a headake 
 and hollered out what in time is the 
 matter, and she told him and i heard 
 him jump out of bed and in a minit 
 he came out buttoning up his sus- 
 penders. Mother said where in the 
 world are you going George, and he 
 said things is come to a pretty pass 
 if a boy cant go and hear his father 
 make a speach without being banged 
 round by a policeman, i am going 
 down to knock the heads off every 
 policeman there, and he reeched for 
 his vest, mother said George, dont 
 you go near the hall, and father said 
 he cood lick anny 2 men on the po- 
 lice force easy and he would show 
 them how to slam people round and 
 
 [ 168 ] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 he reeched for his coat, and Keene 
 and Cele and Georgie began to bawl 
 again to think he wood get hurt and 
 aunt Sarah and mother said you had 
 better not go George, and father said 
 he wood give them more fun in 5 
 minits than they had seen in a polit- 
 ical rally in 5 years and he reeched 
 for his boots and mother said what 
 will they think of you after you have 
 sent word that you are too sick to 
 make a speach, to see you come rush- 
 ing into the hall and go punching 
 the policemen and father had got on 
 1 boot and when she said that he be- 
 gan to look kinder sick and said, 
 thunder that is so. and then his 
 headake got wirse and he gave me a 
 [ 169] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 twenty five cent scrip and Keene and 
 Cele and Georgie ten cents each and 
 he went to bed and so did we. 
 
 i wonder if his head aked really so 
 he coodent make a speach or if he 
 was scart. i bet he was scart. 
 
 school commences monday. father 
 hasent asked once about my diry, so 
 i aint going to wright enny more. 
 
 THIRTY YEARS (OR MORE) AFTER. 
 
 On looking back over the pages of 
 the "Diary" it appears to me that 
 some sort of an amende honorable is 
 due to those citizens now living, and 
 the relatives and friends of those now 
 dead, whose names have appeared in 
 [170] 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 the " Diary' - and who have, so to 
 speak, been handled without gloves. 
 
 That I have been neither mobbed, 
 nor horsewhipped, nor sued, nor 
 prosecuted, but that I have enjoyed 
 many a good laugh with — and have 
 received many pleasant words from 
 — the victims, and their friends, is 
 good evidence that they, and their 
 more fortunate brothers who have 
 not been therein mentioned, have 
 taken the f ' Diary ' ' in the very spirit 
 in which it was published, that of 
 affectionate and amusing retrospect. 
 
 And it is indeed with affection 
 that I recall those men, at that 
 time in their prime. That I could 
 not then understand the reason why 
 they did not fully enter into and aj> 
 
 [ 171 ] 
 
The Real Diary 
 
 predate the spirit that prompted me 
 and my boon companions to trans- 
 gress so many rules, laws, and stat- 
 utes is not surprising. Boys seldom 
 can understand it. But, although I 
 now fully appreciate it, I often 
 wonder at the spirit that prompted 
 so many of those men in after years 
 to show me so many kindnesses, so 
 much encouragement, and such great 
 forbearance. 
 
 So many inquiries have been made 
 of me about that cornet, the soul-fill- 
 ing ambition of my early years, that 
 I feel that the uncertainty in regard 
 to that delightful instrument ought 
 to be cleared up. I never did save 
 up enough money to buy a cornet. 
 I haven't to this day. But many 
 C 172 3 
 
Of a Real Boy 
 
 years afterwards, when my ambition 
 had been turned into other and 
 equally profitless channels, upon the 
 death of a dear friend his beautiful 
 cornet was sent me. I have it now, 
 as the neighbors and the members 
 of my family can testify fully and 
 with deep feeling, if called upon. 
 
 H. A. S. 
 
 [178] 
 
Dramatis Personam 
 
A GOOD many years ago, dur- 
 ing my college days, it was 
 ^ my custom and that of my 
 room-mate, Brown of Exeter, to 
 make our room the gathering-place 
 for Exeter boys, both "stewdcats" 
 and homesick Exeter youths then 
 filling positions in Boston. It hap- 
 pened that frequently undergradu- 
 ates from other towns and cities came 
 in at these Saturday evening gather- 
 ings and it was a matter of wonder 
 to them that we had so much to talk 
 about in relation to our native town ; 
 and it was their frequent remark 
 that "either Exeter is a remarkable 
 [ 177 ] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 place, or you are a remarkably loyal 
 set of fellows." 
 
 That Exeter is a remarkable place 
 is an axiom, and no better evidence 
 of the fact can be found (were evi- 
 dence necessary to sustain an axiom) 
 than in the loyalty that every citizen 
 displays, and the sincere love that 
 prompts every one who has ever 
 come under the spell of our dear old 
 town to revisit her at every oppor- 
 tunity. 
 
 Where else could a diary of this 
 nature, dealing with actual persons 
 and actual events, be published and 
 be received with such absolute good- 
 nature and even enthusiasm by the 
 persons now living who are men- 
 tioned therein? 
 
 [ 178] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 It is therefore with affection as 
 well as amusement that I append 
 the following brief biographical 
 sketches of persons mentioned in the 
 "Diary," preserving as nearly as 
 possible the order of their appearance 
 in the book. As many readers of 
 the "Diary" have expressed a desire 
 to know more of the subsequent his- 
 tories and achievements of those 
 therein mentioned, it is hoped this 
 information will satisfy a curiosity 
 and interest which, to a loyal son of 
 Exeter, appear quite natural : — 
 
 1. Father. George S. Shute. 
 
 A native of Exeter. For twenty-six years a clerk 
 in the Boston Naval Office. Still living in Ex- 
 eter, an old man with a young tongue ; in fact, 
 the quickest man at repartee in Exeter. 
 
 C 179 ] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 2. Mother. 
 
 My mother died in the winter of 1895. No 
 words can do justice to her qualities. "A 
 sweeter woman ne'er drew breath." 
 
 3. "Gim" Melcher. 
 
 An old friend of my fathers. Died in Maiden 
 a few years ago. 
 
 4. Some of the men who were "wrighting 
 
 fast" in the Custom House were the 
 following: — 
 
 George Davis, of Lexington, who a year ago 
 celebrated his fiftieth consecutive year of service 
 in the Naval Office; Colonel Ivory Pope, of 
 Cambridge; Benjamin A. Sidwell, of East 
 Boston; Jacob A. Howe, of Maiden; Frank 
 Harriman, a brother of the late Governor Harri- 
 man of Concord, N. H. ; Hiram Barrus, of 
 Beading, Mass., deceased; C. C. Whittemore, 
 of Portsmouth, N. H. ; Charles Mudge, of 
 Maiden; Matthew F. Whittier, of Medford, 
 a brother of the poet Whittier, and a newspaper- 
 writer of considerable prominence, writing under 
 
 [ 180 ] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 the pen-name of "Ethan Spike" ; and Tristram 
 Talbot, of Newburyport, with others whom the 
 writer does not now recall. A few years later 
 the writer spent several of his college vacations 
 as deputy clerk in the same Naval Office, and 
 made pleasant acquaintances with all of the 
 above-named men. He found them very com- 
 petent clerks, courteous gentlemen, and the best 
 story-tellers that he ever knew, and recollects 
 those vacations as very pleasant periods in his 
 school life. Some of them still hold positions in 
 the Custom House. 
 
 5. Charles " Talor" : Charles Taylor. 
 
 A great friend of the family. Died in Exeter 
 about ten years ago. 
 
 6. "Beany": E. L. Watson. 
 
 In business at Williamstown, Mass. Attained 
 his boyhood ambition and married Lizzie "Tole," 
 Ed's sister. 
 
 7. "Pewter": C. E. Purington. 
 
 My near neighbor, a decorative painter, who 
 early displayed talent in this direction. 
 
 [181] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 8. "Skinny Bruce": Wm. J. Bruce. 
 
 A tinsmith of Exeter who still thinks he could 
 have licked Frank Elliott. 
 
 9. Frank Elliott 
 
 A successful mechanic in Boston, who is confi- 
 dent that he could have licked " Skinny " Bruce. 
 
 10. "Nipper": John A. Brown. 
 
 Exeter. Chairman of the School Board. Trustee 
 of the Seminary. Trustee of the Library. My 
 room-mate at Harvard. 
 
 11. "Micky" Gould. 
 
 I do not know what became of " Micky." Wher- 
 ever he is, there is a good-natured, jolly man. 
 
 12. Mr. Winsor. 
 
 Address not known. How he could throw a 
 snowball. 
 
 13. "Ed" Towle. 
 
 Exeter, N. H. With a keen memory for old 
 days. 
 
 14. "Dany" Wingate. 
 
 • A very prominent man. The father of J. D. R 
 
 C 182] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 and C. E. L. Wingate of the Boston Journal. 
 Died at Exeter many years ago. 
 
 15. "Whacker": Col. A. M. Chadwick. 
 
 Lowell, Mass. 
 
 16. "Pozzy": Austin K. Chadwick. 
 
 Lowell, Mass. 
 
 Two of the best known and most respected citi- 
 zens of Lowell. Dignified and sedate, but just 
 touch on old Exeter days and watch their eyes 
 twinkle and their tongues loosen. 
 
 17. "Pricilla" : Prof. Charles A. Hobbs. 
 
 Boston. Has written some dreadful mathemat- 
 ical works, and revisits Exeter often, but not 
 often enough. 
 
 18. "Pheby": Charles A. Taylor. 
 
 Has inherited the very qualities that made his 
 father so good a, friend. 
 
 19. "Lubbin" 
 
 Address not known. 
 
 20. "Nigger" Bell 
 
 So called because his hair was so very white. 
 [ 183 ] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 Professor of Chemistry in a Western University. 
 Died recently in Maiden. 
 
 21. Tommy Thompson: R. G. Thompson. 
 
 New London, Conn. 
 
 22. "Dutchy": Dr. William A. Sea- 
 
 MANS. 
 
 New York City. Fullback on the Harvard '77 
 eleven. There are several ex-principals of the 
 Exeter High School who will remember Thomp- 
 son and Seamans in very clear and vivid colors. 
 
 23. "Chick" Chickering: Prof. John J. 
 
 Chickering. 
 
 Flushing, L. I. Commissioner of Public Educa- 
 tion of New York State. 
 
 24. "Tady" : Timothy Finton. 
 
 Exeter. An expert wood- worker with a leaning 
 for politics. 
 
 25. "Gim" Wingate: James D. P. Win- 
 
 gate. 
 
 Winchester, Mass. The business manager of the 
 Boston Journal 
 
 [ 184] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 26. "Skipy" : H. C. Moses. 
 
 Exeter. For many years in the wholesale wool 
 business in Boston. One of the keenest sports- 
 men and best wing shots in New Hampshire. 
 
 27. "Pile": John G. Wood. 
 
 Chicago. Manager of the McKay Cordage Fac- 
 tory in Chicago. Promises to return to Exeter 
 when he has made his " pile " ($100,000). 
 From present indications, the prospect is favor- 
 able. 
 
 28. Billy Folsom : Wm. H. Folsom. 
 
 Exeter. Member of the firm of E. Folsom & 
 Co. Brass Works. One of Harvard's greatest 
 pitchers. 
 
 29. "Hoppy" Gadd. 
 
 A very eccentric but sterling citizen, who could 
 make cowhide boots which, like the panels in 
 the " one-horse shay," " would last like iron for 
 things like these.' ' Died in Exeter a few years 
 ago. 
 
 30. "Si" Smith. 
 
 The man with the " funny sine." Died in 
 Exeter nearly thirty years ago. 
 
 [ 185 ] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 81. " Gran " Miller and "Ben n RundleL 
 
 Addresses not known. 
 
 32. Squire Lane. 
 
 Died in Lynn. 
 
 33. Charles Buidey. 
 
 Died in Exeter. For many years Treasurer of 
 Phillips Exeter Academy, and Superintendent 
 of the " Unitarial " Sunday School. 
 
 34. "Keene": My Sister, Mrs. C. E. By- 
 
 INGTON. 
 
 Exeter. A very able and accomplished woman. 
 The one to whom all members of the family go 
 when in trouble. 
 
 35. Lucy Watson. 
 
 Mrs. Frank Conner of Lynn. 
 
 36. " Cur ley" Conner: Mr. Frank Conner* 
 
 Lynn. Husband of the aforesaid. 
 
 37. "Jo" Parsons: Mr. Joseph S. Par- 
 
 sons. 
 
 Boston. An expert bookkeeper. 
 [ 186] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 38. "Billy" Swett: Mr. Wm. Swett. 
 
 Jamaica Plain. I remember him as one of the 
 most polite and affable boys I ever met. 
 
 39. Mr. "Lovel" who said, "o hell": C. 
 
 Lovell, 2d. 
 
 One of the best amateur actors and j oiliest men 
 I ever knew. Died recently. 
 
 40. John Flanagan. 
 
 Exeter. A tinsmith and co-laborer with * Skin- 
 ny" Bruce. 
 
 41. "Gimmy" Fitzgerald. 
 
 Died at Exeter thirty years ago, 
 
 42. "Old" Head: Oren Head. 
 
 Many students will affectionately remember him. 
 Deceased. 
 
 43. "Bob" Carter. 
 
 The old janitor of the Town Hall. Gruff, but 
 very kind-hearted. Deceased. 
 
 44. "Wats": Irving M. Watson. 
 
 Father of "Beany," and pleasantly like him. 
 
 [187] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 45. John Getchell. 
 
 A liberal, free, and kind-hearted Exeter mer- 
 chant. Deceased. 
 
 46. Eben Fohom. 
 
 Uncle of "Billy/* and head of the firm of which 
 Billy is a member. 
 
 47. "Charlie": Dr. C. H. Gerrish. 
 
 48. "Doc" Prey: Dr. J. E. S. Pray. 
 
 Gentlemen both, of whom the writer can say 
 everything good. 
 
 49. Alice " Gewell" who was "a dary maid": 
 
 Miss Alice Jewell. 
 
 Instructor of singing in the schools of Exeter. 
 
 50. "OldKize": Philander Keyes. 
 
 A policeman of thirty years ago. Deceased. 
 
 51. "Bill" Hartnett. 
 
 Who used to make it lively for the last men- 
 tioned. A man of many good qualities notwith- 
 standing. Deceased. 
 
 [ 188 j 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 52. "Old" Swain. 
 
 A contemporary of "Old Kize/' and a co-laborer 
 in the same vineyard. 
 
 53. "Mister" Gordon: Hon. Nathaniel 
 
 Gordon. 
 
 A retired lawyer of Exeter. 
 
 54. Dora Moses. 
 
 55. Mary "Loverin": Mrs. Mary Leth- 
 
 bridge. 
 
 Two beautiful girls and inseparable companions, 
 whose deaths were untimely and irreparable. 
 
 56. "Cele": My sister, Celia E. Shute. 
 
 Exeter. A stenographer, and a writer of short 
 stories for magazines. 
 
 57. "Cawcaw" Harding: Prof. B. F. Hard- 
 
 ing. 
 
 Boston. An early advocate of those methods of 
 instruction that result in "mens sana in corpore 
 sano." 
 
 [ 189] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 58. "Doctor'" Dearborn. 
 
 A most eccentric old apothecary. Died in Exeter 
 a few years ago. 
 
 59. "Aunt Sarah": Miss Sarah F. Shute. 
 
 Exeter. The favorite aunt of a large family, all 
 of whose geese are swans. 
 
 60. "Fatty" Melcher : F. A. Melcher. 
 
 Boston. So named because he was not fat. 
 
 61. "Genny" Morrison: Mrs. John J. 
 
 Joyce. 
 
 Andover, Mass. By not appearing at our Gram- 
 mar School Reunion * Genny " disappointed five 
 hundred people. 
 
 62. J. Albert Clark. 
 
 Exeter. One of the proprietors of the Exeter 
 Machine Works. He has always had a very 
 kindly interest in "Beany" and "Plupy," in 
 spite of the many annoyances he suffered at 
 their boyish hands. 
 
 06. "Bill" Morrill: Mr. Wm. B. Morrill. 
 
 For many years selectman of Exeter. Died in 
 1878. 
 
 [ 190 J 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 64. "Dave" Quimby. 
 
 Every student will recollect him. Died at Exeter 
 recently. 
 
 65. "Chitter": James Robinson. 
 
 A truckman in Boston. 
 
 66. "Boog" Chadwick. 
 
 A New York broker, whose " heart 's in the high- 
 lands;" to wit, Exeter. 
 
 67. "Pop" Clark: Will Clark. 
 
 Roxbury, Mass. A born comedian and a delight- 
 fully entertaining man. 
 
 68. "Shinny" Thyng. 
 
 One of the few Exeter boys who continues his 
 father's business at the old stand. If more did 
 the same, the prosperity of country towns would 
 be assured. 
 
 69. "Gim" Erly. 
 
 Lives somewhere in the West. 
 
 70. "Honey" Donovan: William Dono- 
 
 van. 
 
 Providence. 
 
 [ 191] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 71. "Mose " Gordon. 
 
 A Texas cattle-man. 
 
 72. Mr. Lamed. 
 
 Unitarian clergyman. Deceased. 
 
 73. "Gil" Steele. 
 
 A merchant in Denver. 
 
 74. "Mis Packer d" : Mrs. Mary Packard. 
 
 A famous local singer, now living in California. 
 
 75. " Gim Loverin": James M. Lovering. 
 
 A very shrewd politician. Deceased. 
 
 76. "Old Mister Stickney" : Judge W. W. 
 
 Stickney. 
 
 With whom I studied law. Deceased ; not, how- 
 ever, because of that fact. Judge Stickney was 
 a sound lawyer and an upright, kind-hearted 
 man. 
 
 77. "Ed" Dearborn. 
 
 The old bell-ringer. Deceased. 
 
 78. John Quincy "Ann" Pollard: J. Q. A. 
 
 Pollard. 
 
 A very old man, upon whom the boys were wont 
 [ 192] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 to play tricks, but who had developed wonder- 
 ful precision of aim with a knotted cane. De- 
 ceased. 
 
 79. Dan Ranlet : D. W. Ranlet. 
 
 Boston Produce Exchange. 
 
 80. George M. Perkins. 
 
 For many years an expressman between Boston 
 and Exeter. 
 
 81. John E. Gibson. 
 
 Master of the Agassiz School, Boston. Residence, 
 Jamaica Plain. I take the opportunity to notify 
 him that the Exeter High School holds its quin- 
 quennial reunion June, 1903. 
 
 82. Isaac Shute. 
 
 A retired merchant of Exeter. Deceased. 
 
 83. Major Blake. 
 
 A famous Boniface, and for many years proprie- 
 tor of the Squamscott. Deceased. 
 
 84. Charles D. Towle. 
 
 An equally famous livery-stable keeper, who 
 [ 193] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 periodically fought to a finish with Major Blake 
 for passengers to Hampton Beach. Deceased. 
 
 85. Frank Haines. 
 
 A farmer. Residence, Exeter. 
 
 86. "The Baby": Edward A. Shute, 
 
 Exeter. Who can now handle his elder brother 
 with ease, 
 
 87. "Frankie": Frank F. Shtjte. 
 
 Who thinks he can do likewise, but cannot. A 
 hotel-keeper at Lakewood, New Jersey. 
 
 88. "Annie" : Miss Annie P. Shute. 
 
 Who, by virtue of a clerkship in my office, owns 
 the entire establishment. 
 
 89. "Georgie" 
 
 Instructor in Latin and French in the Albany 
 Academy, Albany, N. Y. 
 
 90. "Nibby" 
 
 A summer visitor named Hartwell. Deceased. 
 
 91. Hiram Mingo. 
 
 A colored boy. Address not known. 
 [ 194 ] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 92. Joe Palmer. 
 
 A hackman with whom the boys used to ride. 
 Address not known. 
 
 93. John E. Gardner. 
 
 A member of an old family of merchants in Ex- 
 eter. Deceased. Brother of Elizabeth Gardner 
 Bouguereau, the artist. 
 
 94. General Marston. 
 
 A famous New Hampshire lawyer and veteran 
 of the Civil War. Deceased. 
 
 95. Amos Tuck. 
 
 A famous lawyer, politician, financier, and 
 Member of Congress. Deceased. 
 
 96. Mr. Gravel. 
 
 Address not known. 
 
 97. Elkins and Graves. 
 
 Famous auctioneers at that period. Deceased. 
 
 98. Scott "Briggam" 
 
 One of the boys then, one of the boys now. Ex- 
 eter. 
 
 C 195] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 99. Charlie Woodbury. 
 
 Deceased. 
 
 100. "Potter " Gorham : Arthur Gorham. 
 
 Killed by an accidental discharge of his gun 
 nearly thirty years ago. A born naturalist. 
 
 101. "Old Francis:' 
 
 For thirty-three years principal at the Grammar 
 School at Exeter. On his resignation, a few 
 years ago, a reunion was held which was at- 
 tended by old pupils from every State in the 
 Union, to do him honor. Still hale and hearty, 
 and living in Exeter. 
 
 102. Doctor Perry. 
 
 An old family physician, who has ushered more 
 children and children's children into the world 
 than any man in the county, and who is beloved 
 and revered by every one of them. Miss Jewett, 
 in her "Country Doctor/' based her delightful 
 description upon Dr. William G. Perry, her 
 uncle. Living in Exeter. 
 
 103. John Adams. 
 
 Who has trimmed enough carriages to set all 
 [ 196 J 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 New Hampshire awheel, and who still practises 
 his trade in Exeter. 
 
 104. Nell Towle: Mrs. George W. 
 Hooper. 
 
 Exeter. As rosy, good-natured, and musically 
 inclined as she was in the good old days. 
 
 105. William Perry Moulton. 
 
 A prosperous real-estate and insurance man, 
 who unfortunately for his peace of mind tried 
 to raise Bartlett pears, Concord grapes, and As- 
 trachan apples in the neighborhood that was in- 
 fested by " Plupy '* and his associates ; who fre- 
 quently tracked, chased, and caught them red- 
 handed, but who was too kind-hearted even 
 then to deprive them of their ill-gotten gains. 
 
 106. "Chris" Staples. 
 
 Who remembers the fight with Charlie Clark. 
 
 107. Charlie Clark. 
 
 Deceased. Just before he died he read the 
 " Diary " and sent word to the author that he 
 remembered the scene in which he figured and 
 much enjoyed the book. 
 
 C 197 ] 
 
Dramatis Persona; 
 
 108. Mr. Ashman. 
 
 A veteran band-leader of Boston. 
 
 109. Frank Hervey. 
 
 A veteran restaurant-keeper in Exeter. Now 
 living in Concord, N. H. 
 
 110. "Rashe Belnap" : William H. Bel- 
 knap. 
 
 A retired banker and real-estate man of Exeter. 
 Town clerk of Exeter for twenty-five years. 
 
 111. Henry Sivipson. 
 
 Periodical dealer in the late sixties. Living in 
 Maine. 
 
 112. Luke Manioc. 
 
 Now living in Texas. As a boy he could curve 
 a snowball round the corner, like T. B. Aldrich's 
 "Binny Wallace." 
 
 113. "Bob Ridley" : George Elliott. 
 
 Exeter. A right good fellow. 
 
 114. Sam Dyer. 
 
 A rather eccentric blacksmith. Died in the 
 West. 
 
 C 198] 
 
Dramatis Personae 
 
 115. Horace Cobb. 
 
 A good-natured, short, and extremely fat man. 
 A native of Exeter, and last of a very prominent 
 family. Died several years ago. 
 
 116. Dennis Cokely. 
 
 Address not known. I have always felt badly 
 "to think the fight was throwed away, and 
 neither cf them licked." 
 
 117. Johnnie Rogers. 
 
 A cousin of the Chadwicks. Deceased. 
 
 118. Cap. John W. Chadwick. 
 
 A retired sea-captain. Father of "Foe," 
 "Boog," "Whack/' and "Willie," "Whack's 
 little brother." A most cultivated gentleman, 
 whose heart was kind, but whose word was law. 
 Deceased. 
 
 119. "Zee" Smith: Frank Smith. 
 
 Deceased in Lowell. 
 
 120. Miss Pratt. 
 
 A laundress much patronized by students. She 
 accumulated much property by practising the 
 gentle art of polishing shirts. 
 
 L 199 ] 
 
Dramatis Personam 
 
 121. "Old Durgin" : Mr. Ezra Durgin. 
 
 A rather quick-tempered but worthy policeman, 
 contemporary with "Old Swain" and "Old 
 Kize." 
 
 122. Various "stewdcats" 
 
 Who have played their parts and gone. 
 
 123. "Plupy? "Skinny" "Polelegs"- The 
 Author. 
 
 De minimis non curat lex. 
 
RETURN CIRCULATION DEPARTMENT 
 
 TO— ^ 202 Main Library 
 
 LOAN PERIOD 1 
 _ HOME USE 
 
 2 3 
 
 4 
 
 5 6 
 
 ALL BOOKS MAY BE RECALLED AFTER 7 DAYS 
 
 1 -month loans may be renewed by calling 642-3405 
 
 6-month loans may be recharged by bringing books to Circulation Desk 
 
 Renewals and recharges may be made 4 days prior to due date 
 
 DUE AS STAMPED BELOW 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 s s? s 
 
 
 
 5 en %* 
 
 
 
 § ** 5 
 
 Ac, ,„•%,. u, 
 
 
 
 e kc o 
 
 § ^ :*• 
 
 
 
 ^ 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, BERKELEY 
 FORM NO. DD6, 60m, 12/80 BERKELEY, CA 94720 
 
 ©s 
 
VM IU 
 
l!r<r«!l*lJ8«'M^» - c!i^t-^ 
 
 1 ife 
 
 ■ .fig 
 
 ■ Mm 
 
 ■