^m^^^-^^^^m 
 
 *B liSfl MflD 
 
 Ettflllsb Boies 
 
 for 
 Jimerican Ciroilation. 
 
 (With Apologies to Charles 'Dickens.) 
 
 •/ 
 
 m 
 
 SIR RICHARD TANGYE, F.R.G.S. 
 
 Privately Printed, 
 mdcccxcv. 
 
 ^SSSSffSSl&SSS^ 
 
THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 PRESENTED BY 
 
 PROF. CHARLES A. KOFOID AND 
 
 MRS. PRUDENCE W. KOFOID 
 
English Notes 
 
 FOR American Circulation. 
 
Digitized by tine Internet Arcinive 
 
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 littp://www.archive.org/details/englishnotesforaOOtangricli 
 
English Notes 
 
 FOR 
 
 American Circulation. 
 
 (With Apologies to Charles Dickens.) 
 
 vw 
 
 SIR RICHARD TANGYE, F.R.G.S. 
 
 Privately Printed, 
 mdcccxcv. 
 
 C^ 
 
 -^h^^iX 
 

 THE EVE OF ST. JOHN. 
 
 One evening, long, long ago, in a village in 
 the remotest part of England, there might have 
 been seen at play two little boys of about the 
 same age ; there was something in the appear- 
 ance of both of them calculated to cause an 
 observant stranger to regard them with more 
 than a passing look. The taller of the two 
 boys — they were cousins — had a well-shaped 
 head, dark curly hair, and soft brown eyes, 
 forming quite a contrast to the blue eyes and 
 flaxen curls of his playfellow. 
 
 The game in which they were engaged is no 
 longer played, it having been swept away — with 
 many other old customs and local peculiarities — 
 by the introduction of the railway and conse- 
 quent vastly increased intercourse with other 
 parts of the country ; and also by the levelling 
 march of an uniform system of National 
 Education. 
 
 But at the period of which I am writing, it was 
 still customary in some parts of North Britain, 
 and in other parts of the country, for boys and 
 
vi. INTRODUCTION, 
 
 g-irls to assemble on the Eve of St. John — the 
 23rd June — and, having- kindled a bonfire in 
 some open space, to dance round it with joined 
 hands, occasionally jumping through it, and 
 singing the while : — 
 
 ** Midsummer Eve is passing" away, is passing away. 
 Hip, hip hooray ! " 
 
 And this was the pastime in which the cousins 
 were engaged on the Eve of St John, 184 — . 
 
 Many a time had they played together on the 
 waste ground at the end of their grandfather's 
 g^arden, but little did they dream that this would 
 be the last time they would ever do so ; — still 
 less of the future that lay before them. 
 
 On this particular Midsummer Eve, things 
 seemed to crowd upon one another, as though 
 there was some little cherub sitting up aloft 
 directing affairs, who was conscious of its being 
 the last time that the cousins would join in the 
 ** Baal " dance around the fire. 
 
 A company of men, hailing from America — 
 the land of great experiments — created con- 
 siderable excitement in the village by proclaiming 
 themselves ** Apostles of the Church of Jesus 
 Christ of Latter Day Saints," inviting their 
 hearers — especially the women folk — to follow 
 them to the City of the Saints, and ending their 
 
INTRODUCTION. vii. 
 
 mission by being promptly expelled the village 
 precincts. But although none of the villagers 
 followed the Mormons to their city in the 
 desert, one of the cousins — he of the dark curly 
 hair — soon after found a new home in the Far 
 West, and for the space of fifty years was 
 entirely lost to his English playmate. 
 
 The cousins never met again. Towards the 
 end of the half century that had elapsed since 
 they parted, a nephew of the American cousin, 
 living in Chicago, was presented with a copy of 
 a book bearing the motto of the English county 
 from which his father and uncle had emigrated 
 in early youth. The title of the book was, 
 **The Growth of a Great Industry," and it set 
 forth the history and achievements of a group 
 of brothers hailing from a remote part of the 
 country, who had settled in one of the large 
 manufacturing towns in the Midlands, and had 
 there made a name for themselves which had 
 become famous the world over. The Chicago 
 youth was struck with the fact that the name of 
 the author, appearing on the title page, was 
 identical with that of his own father. Could it 
 be possible that these were the English relatives 
 of whose existence he had heard occasional 
 rumours ? His parents had been long dead, so 
 
viii. INTRODUCTION, 
 
 he sent the book to his sister living in the 
 
 beautiful University town of M , in a 
 
 Western State, and who, when a little orphan 
 girl, had been adopted by kind friends residing 
 there. 
 
 Curiously enough, almost simultaneously with 
 the receipt of the book, there appeared in a 
 well-known New York magazine an article 
 describing the institutions of the very Midland 
 town referred to in its pages, the article being 
 illustrated with portraits of the author of the 
 book and of his brother. A copy of the 
 magazine found its way, in the usual course, to 
 the house in M , and being read in con- 
 junction with the book from Chicago, little 
 doubt was entertained that the English relatives 
 had been discovered. Then ensued a long and 
 
 interesting correspondence between Miss 
 
 and her cousin, the author of the book from 
 Chicago, culminating at the end of four years in 
 an invitation to spend a year with her relatives 
 in England. 
 
 ** Our American cousin '* will not soon forget 
 the year that now, alas ! is past and gone. 
 Visits were paid to various parts of England, 
 including one to the house in which her father 
 first saw the light, London was well explored^ 
 
INTRODUCTION, ix. 
 
 and a delightful time was spent in dear, quaint 
 old Holland. But, although in anticipation, a 
 year seems to be a very long time, it is soon 
 
 past, and at length the time arrived for Miss 
 
 to return to her American home. The corres- 
 pondence interrupted by the visit to England 
 was resumed on her return, and in its course 
 many an old story she had heard while with us, 
 was re-told, and is here reproduced strictly 
 ** for Private Circulation." 
 
ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 
 
 July 2oth, 1895. 
 My dear — . — Here we are in Old England once 
 again ! It seems such a very short time since 
 we bade adieu to three ladies looking somewhat 
 forlorn as they stood on the Cunard Wharf in 
 N.Y. The good ship **Lucania" sped on its 
 way with surprising swiftness, so that when we 
 reached the Euston Hotel in London, only 6 
 days II hours had elapsed since leaving N.Y. 
 docks. The voyage is so short and the pas- 
 sengers so many, there is no opportunity of 
 becoming acquainted with anyone, and this is 
 sometimes a cause for lively regret. Our com- 
 panions in the train from Liverpool to London 
 were a lady and gentleman who sat next us on 
 the deck of the steamer. We soon got into 
 conversation in the train, being able to give them 
 some useful information respecting a tour they 
 proposed taking on the Continent. Presently 
 the lady told me how sorry she was we had not 
 
2 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 become acquainted on the steamer. She said 
 she often felt inclined to speak to me, thinking I 
 had a friendly look, but did not like to venture. 
 Now you know I have the misfortune of being 
 blind in one eye, and the lady happened to sit on 
 that side, so I told her I had not observed her, 
 for she had been sitting on my blind side. 
 ^*Oh! " she said, *^then it is not always an 
 advantage to be on your blind side ! " 
 
 July 24TH. 
 At Glendorgal. — Came down alone to vote for 
 a member of Parliament, our side winning by a 
 handsome majority. 
 
 July 25TH and 26th. 
 To-day, the family and visitors arrived, also our 
 old friend of *^ Cosy Corner," Regent Street, 
 Mr. Ben Trovato, who was very tired. Bruce 
 came down in the morning with Frank and the 
 horses. At the station Frank missed Bruce, but 
 when he got near the house saw the poor old 
 dog vainly trying to surmount a stile — one that 
 he would have gone over with a bound a few 
 years ago — he knew the way to Glendorgal, and 
 50 came on alone, but was thankful for Frank's 
 help over the stile, and although a lame ^o^<, he 
 did not bite the hand that helped him over. 
 When he got down he came to me where I was 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 3 
 
 sitting under the verandah (piazza ?), and then 
 went to the corner where the dish of water used 
 to be kept, but it had not been put out, so I soon 
 had it filled and brought, and ^* him wagged him 
 little tail " in gratitude — Good old Bruce ! 
 
 <$) 
 July 27TH. 
 A BRIGHT morning, the Forth full of water, 
 bright blue with white crests, as the wind is 
 blowing fresh from S.W., and the white horses 
 crest the waves from the horizon — only one sail 
 in sight. I took Ben out to view the great 
 waters, of course leading him with his chain, 
 first down the steps close to the water's edge, 
 where the waves were dashing in. He looked 
 full of wonder and amazement, turning round 
 to me with a note of interrogation in his eye — 
 soon he became afraid of it, and tried to climb the 
 face of the cliff — then along the lower walk to the 
 bottom shelter (Elsinore), where he at once 
 jumped on to the narrow wall and nearly tumbled 
 over. I fear he will come to grief like Gyp II. 
 Presently he saw a large gull fly up and away, 
 and was greatly excited, never having seen any- 
 thing larger than a sparrow before. I had to 
 hold him in. ^ 
 
 In the afternoon a party of about twenty 
 (mostly young women) from Redruth came, and 
 I showed them over the house and place ; they 
 were greatly interested in the Cromwell room 
 
4 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 and with Oliver's death masl<:. I also showed 
 them the skull of Richard Brandon, the 
 executioner of Charles I., which was for a long" 
 time in a box in the dining room at Kingston 
 Vale, and which I had opened yesterday for the 
 first time, and a grim and ghastly object it is, 
 the lower jaw is very strong and projecting-, and 
 all the teeth but three are in perfect condition. 
 Richard died in 1650. A little boy in the com- 
 pany was standing by the sun dial when I was 
 about to explain its uses. He was not quite 
 tall enough, so put his feet on the plinth of the 
 pillar, holding on to the top with his hands, his 
 feet slipped and down he went, his poor jaw 
 coming heavily on to the granite top, quite a 
 heavy blow ; someone standing by observed : 
 ** Johnny has got a scat in his chacks " (a blow 
 in the jaws or cheek bones). I cured the pain 
 by a distribution of new threepenny pieces all 
 round. I gave each a copy of Little Gyp of 
 whom they had all heard, and one had called his 
 dog after it, then all had tea with bread and 
 butter and saffron cake, and went off highly 
 delighted — much amused, too, with the ^' gentle 
 curve" of Old Solomon. As is my custom with 
 visitors I escorted them to the gates, saying I 
 would see them off the premises. On getting 
 there one of the little boys, looking at the great 
 eagles on the gates, said ''that's just like little 
 Gyp's grave," and then in good old Cornish 
 fashion the girls grouped themselves and sang 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 5 
 
 ** God be with you, God be with you till we meet 
 again." As we were walking- up the steep drive 
 by the Cosy Corner, a small boy of seven years 
 seeing a ship out at sea remarked to his father : 
 **it is close to the horizon." He was only a 
 workman's child, and I could not help remarking 
 to his father that the familiar use of such a word 
 would have been impossible in the same class of 
 boy forty years ago — education has certainly 
 made great strides. 
 
 When I went to give my vote the other evening 
 (you see I am not a Mugwump for I do vote !) 
 the rival parties had groups standing around the 
 school where the voting took place, and as I 
 went in, the Tory mob hooted me (they were 
 only small boys acting under instructions) ; 
 immediately the sergeant of police stepped out 
 and shouted ^*Be qua-ut, boys," (I can't write it 
 phonetically,) and the boys were at once quelled 
 by the majesty of the law's representative. 
 
 July 28th, Sunday. 
 You will remember the scarcity of trees about 
 Glendorgal? Some superficial visitors even go 
 so far as to say there are no trees, but you will 
 recollect how I demonstrated their error ? Yes- 
 terday some visitors made the same observation, 
 upon which I proceeded to enlighten them by 
 inviting them to accompany me on a tour 
 
6 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 through the woods and forests ! and then I led 
 them down the footpath opposite the billiard 
 room window, and soon introduced them to 
 the oaks and sycamores, through the avenue 
 (requesting the boys not to climb the trees) and 
 along the lower walk to the round seat up the 
 green path opposite the sun dial, past Hugh 
 Latimer's shelter and back to the billiard room. 
 They were amazed and delighted, and I said I 
 should supply the Royal Navy with oak for ship- 
 building when steel and iron went out of 
 fashion ! ^ 
 
 Mr. Henwood Thomas tells me that I was the 
 occasion of a fight in a public house the other 
 day ! A man named Andrew Flamank, brother 
 of our old housekeeper, Mrs. Flamank, who 
 used to be my farm man at old Gilbertstone, 
 happening to hear another man in the tap 
 room or bar speak disrespectfully of me, 
 at once went for him, before asking for an 
 explanation, remarking ** no, you don't. Sir 
 Richard is a gentleman, and you don't black- 
 guard him here ! " The libeller got a fine black 
 eye, and Andrew who is a heavy man split his 
 finger in the fray before they were separated. 
 Mr. Thomas met Andrew in the field yesterday, 
 and questioned him on the subject. Andrew 
 said it was quite true, showing his finger in 
 evidence, **Sir Richard is a gentleman as I have 
 proved many a time, and I was not going to 
 hear him abused." It seems the fellow had been 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 7 
 
 doing- some labourers' work on the tennis lawn, 
 and in going" through the kitchen garden saw 
 some vegetables and potatoes being placed in 
 baskets. As the family was not here, he took it 
 into his head that the things were being sent to 
 market to be sold, ^*and a shabby thing too," 
 said he, and it was this that Andrew objected to. 
 ** Now," said Andrew, *'I don't know whether 
 it is true or not. Sir Richard could do what he liked 
 with his own things, but I went for the fellow." 
 Said Mr. Thomas, ^*now I can tell you the truth 
 of the matter ; I know for a fact that the 
 gardener wrote Sir Richard, telling him of the 
 vegetables, &c., and at once received instructions 
 to distribute them amongst some widows and 
 others." 
 
 Andrew's ^' going for " the man before getting 
 his explanation, reminds me of the saying : ** A 
 word and a blow, but a blow first, like the men 
 of Scarborough." 
 
 <$) 
 July 28th. 
 Did I give you a Beautifier ? I see one before 
 me as I write, and how entirely it belies its 
 name ! One of my visitors yesterday was 
 remarking what a beautiful place we had, his 
 observation reminding me of a visit I once had 
 from the Mayor and Aldermen of Falmouth, 
 soon after I bought Glendorgal. At that time 
 there was an ugly brick works by the little 
 bridge at the top of the Forth. These works 
 
-8 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 occasionally sent forth a dense column of smoke 
 that filled the whole Forth when the wind was 
 from the East. On the day in question the sun 
 was shining brilliantly, the chimney was smoking, 
 but, the wind being from the West, the Forth 
 was clear. Fresently the Mayor said to me, 
 ** Why, Mr. T. , you have a little Heaven upon 
 earth here!" **Yes," I replied, " but (pointing to 
 the black smoke) there is something yonder to 
 remind me of the other place." ^' Oh yes," said 
 the Mayor, *^ Birmingham, of course." ''I beg 
 your pardon," said I, *^ Birmingham is not the 
 other place. " Do you see ? 
 
 We have a new waiter in place of poor old 
 John Wesley, whose place will know him no 
 more, he being dead. You remember him ? 
 *' John Wesley was a g"Ood old man, 
 We ne'er shall see him more." 
 
 July 29TH. 
 Last evening was beautiful, the sea nearly calm, 
 and a long belt of golden sky stretched along 
 the whole western horizon, with a rather heavy 
 bank of clouds above ; the tide was in as far as 
 the sun dial steps nearly, and a party of fisher- 
 men were engaged in hauling in a net, two men 
 in a boat (not three) held one end of the long 
 net, and several others held the other end, the 
 net forming a huge horse shoe about 200ft. long 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, g 
 
 and 6oft. wide ; they dragged it on to the sands, 
 but there was only one fish ! a fine bass, which I 
 bought — the men seeming quite satisfied with 
 the price I gave them ; then they ^* crossed the 
 bar," and went out to sea once again. 
 
 I have come across a copy of my letter to Oliver 
 Wendell Holmes, dated August 29, 1893. You 
 will recollect a friend telling me he had just been 
 visiting the Autocrat, who had been ill, and had 
 found him reading my book ^* One and All " ; 
 the news coming to me on his birthday, I ven- 
 tured to write him a letter, of which I give a 
 copy : — 
 
 ** Dear and Honoured Sir, — I believe this is 
 the anniversary of your birth — the 85th — and I 
 send you my most respectful and most hearty 
 greetings. My grandfather lived to be 95, hale 
 and hearty to the last, and millions of the 
 English-speaking race, with whom your name is 
 a household word, will be grateful if you are 
 spared so long and with so much physical ease 
 and comfort as he enjoyed. For many years I 
 have read your charming books, which always 
 lie on my table in handy forms, but I never anti- 
 cipated that I should have the honour of counting 
 you amongst my readers, as I am given to 
 understand I may now do ! I am informed 
 that you have read my little book ^^ One and 
 All," and thought I would like to tell you how 
 pleasant the knowledge is to me. Will you do 
 
lo ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 me the favour of accepting the enclosed little 
 book ** Little Gyp " ? and believe me to be, 
 ** Yours very respectfully, 
 
 O. W. H. sent me a very nice little note in 
 reply. 
 
 <$> 
 July 30TH. 
 
 When you read '^ The Maister,'* on page 277 
 you will recognise the name of W. Jerome 
 Harrison, who was here last summer. The 
 author of *^The Maister " (Mr. Haswell) has 
 been in Norway, Sweden, and Denmark during 
 the past three weeks, on business, so I have not 
 yet seen him. 
 
 When you were here last summer did there 
 come two girls, a man, and a boy with 
 violins and 'cello, singing and playing ? They 
 came to-day, and played very well, and gave us 
 ** Annie Laurie," which took me back to Lake 
 Mendota, where I heard a certain young lady 
 sing it, while I Vondered why she had not sung 
 it at Kingston Vale ; Anyhow, the singers to- 
 day received greater largesse, because I heard it 
 on Mendota. 
 
 ($> 
 July 31ST. 
 To-night I have seen the moon for the first 
 time since leaving Madison. Can I forget that 
 night in June (or was it July ?) upon Mendota's 
 Waters ? 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, ii 
 
 Last night I finished reading ^^The Maister." 
 It is a fine book, the record of a noble, un- 
 selfish life. I knew the Maister, and know that 
 the portrait is a faithful one, and the author, 
 his son, I have known since 1871, when he first 
 entered our service. Long may he continue in 
 it! 
 
 What a pathetic ending for the old man ! 
 ** Slates away, boys ! " How like the beautiful 
 ending of that old dominie of the High School 
 at Edinburgh, some eighty years ago, who 
 would never use artificial light in his class- 
 rooms, but as the shadows deepened would say 
 to the scholars, '*Boys, it is getting dark, you 
 may go home." When taken with his last 
 illness, and just before his death, in broad 
 daylight, he murmured, *^Boys, it is getting 
 dark, you may go home," and so saying, dis- 
 missed himself. 
 
 Beautiful weather to-day. To-morrow our 
 dear friend, the Prophet, and his good wife 
 come to us, for the tenth year in succession 
 without a break ; you know what welcome guests 
 they are. 
 
 August ist. 
 To-day I went to Plymouth to meet Mr. and 
 Mrs. Timmins, and also to pay a little visit to 
 some dear friends of my youth, the Misses B. 
 I had not spoken to them for thirty-three years, 
 as they have lived far away from us. Their 
 
12 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 parents were true, good friends of mine, and it 
 was very pleasant to meet with them again. 
 They had seen a copy of ^*The Young Man," 
 with the picture of a certain American cousin, 
 and were greatly interested in what I had to 
 tell them of her. 
 
 August 2nd, Friday. 
 To-Day the weather is glorious, with a rather 
 strong wind that brings the waves over the 
 Point by the cabin, the white foam dashing high 
 in the sunshine. The air is quite cool. 
 
 You remember seeing the '^ Aurania" in New 
 York, when we arrived on the 29th of June, 
 and hearing that she was not a good boat ? I 
 am vexed to know that she took our Lucania 
 letters from Queenstown, for she broke down in 
 mid-ocean, so that you would not get them for 
 some days alter time. 
 
 You will be interested in hearing that I have 
 received payment for my stolen bag, Mr. 
 Hamilton having sent it from New York. 
 
 The Prophet Samuel is quite happy to-day, 
 the weather is fine, the sea glorious, his pipe 
 draws well, and his tobacco soothes him. 
 
 When in Plymouth, yesterday, I intended 
 going for a walk on the *^Hoe" (the promenade 
 overlooking the harbour and breakwater), but 
 rain coming on I had to forego it. The Prophet 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 13 
 
 tells me a little story of H. J. Byron, a writer ot 
 comic plays, a very witty man, who, when in 
 Plymouth, once was invited by an acquaintance 
 to *^have a turn on the 'Oe " (Hoe). '*Well," 
 said Byron, ** suppose we give the H a turn/' 
 The Spanish fleet has this week been in 
 Plymouth, and there have been great festivities — 
 no Spanish men-of-war having been here since 
 1588, when the great Armada came and was 
 destroyed. You will recollect the story about 
 Sir Francis Drake and other great sea-dogs of 
 the time, how they were playing a game of bowls 
 on the Hoe when the Spanish fleet was signalled. 
 Said Drake *'we will finish the game and then 
 we will finish them ! " And they did. There 
 is a fine bronze statue of Sir F. Drake on the 
 Hoe. It used to be said of him and his fellows 
 that *Hhey knew how to singe the King of 
 Spain's beard," and what is more, often did it. 
 You will remember the little town of Saltash, 
 just across the great bridge, connecting Devon 
 and Cornwall, the first Cornish town ? It is 
 recorded that the Saltash men did their full 
 share in destroying the Spanish fleet, and as a 
 special recognition of their prowess had the 
 right conferred upon them by Special Charter of 
 Queen Elizabeth, to levy certain heavy dues 
 upon all Spanish ships coming into their waters, 
 for all time, and I believe the right still exists. 
 
 Over against the Hoe stands Mount Edg- 
 
14 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 cumbe, the seat of Earl Mount Edgcumbe, and 
 it is said that when the Duke Medina Sidonia (I 
 think he was called), who commanded the 
 Armada, saw the fine old house, he remarked, 
 *^ Ah ! that house shall be mine when we have 
 broken the necks of these English ! " Curiously 
 enough, he never took possession — 
 
 ** Where are now those haughty Spanyals"^, 
 
 Who late annoyed our coast ? 
 They shall eat the grey goose quillf, 
 
 And we will eat the roast J. 
 
 Henwood Thomas is here this afternoon, and 
 Ben Trovato is on a cushion by my side, and is 
 very much interested in what I am doing. I 
 remarked, I should much like to know what is 
 going on in that little brain, upon which Mr. 
 Thomas said a London doctor had once removed 
 a piece of a dog's skull which had been injured, 
 and put a piece of glass in its place, and it had 
 been all right for some years, enabling the 
 doctor to observe the brain. Said a person 
 sitting near, *^ That dog will now have a pane 
 in his head as long as he lives." Quite so. 
 ¥ 
 
 Speaking of H. J. Byron, the Prophet tells 
 me, he was once met in the Strand wearing an 
 
 * The vernacular for Spaniard. 
 
 t ^^ ^ ^^ the feathered shd^h.'' 
 
 X ue.y the roast goose. 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 15 
 
 overcoat, when he was saluted with, ** Why, 
 Byron, I never knew you wear (were) an over- 
 coat?" 'M never was," rejoined Byron. On 
 another occasion, the manager of a London 
 theatre said, in reply to an enquiry by Byron, 
 " Oh, bad houses again ! " ** Bad houses a 
 gain,'^ said Byron ; ^* why, I always thought bad 
 houses were a loss.'' 
 
 August 3RD, Saturday. 
 Very wet and uncomfortable. At breakfast 
 we were talking about Parsons, when someone 
 told us of a parson who was about to go to a 
 neighbouring church to preach, but as it was 
 raining he expressed a fear lest he should get 
 wet. ^* Oh, you will be dry enough in the 
 pulpit," said his wicked friend, and this story at 
 once brought up another ; also about a parson. 
 This gentleman was addressing a large meeting 
 in the Birmingham Town Hall, on some secular 
 subject, and unconsciously dropped into his 
 Sunday morning sermon tone, where he was 
 promptly pulled up by a workman in the 
 audience calling out, in stentorian tones, 
 *' Amen ! " amid roars of laughter, in which the 
 reverend gentleman joined. 
 
 There is a young doctor here, whose name is 
 N . About fifty years ago, his grand- 
 father, of the same name, was murdered by two 
 brothers named L , and in due course they 
 
lb ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 were hanged for the crime ; about ;^i,ooo was 
 stolen from the victim, and this was never 
 recovered; but the widows of the criminals soon 
 after set out for America with plenty of luggage, 
 &c., their expenses having been paid by a brother 
 
 of one of them. A year or two ago Dr. N 
 
 was called into the country to attend an old 
 man, when the following conversation ensued — 
 
 '' Oh, you be Maister N , be you ? " '' Yes, 
 
 I am." ** Well to be sure, now, I remember 
 trapesing (walking) to Bodmin to see your 
 ** gran'far hanged." Did you though ? ** Yes, 
 I did ; I remember it as well as if 'twas only 
 yesterday." **Well," said the doctor, **you 
 are partly right, but only partly, it was my 
 grandfather that was murdered^ and it was two 
 
 young fellows named L who were hanged 
 
 for it." '* That's just what I said," replied the 
 old sinner, and that was the cool way in which 
 he got out of his blunder. 
 
 I think I have told the following story be- 
 fore, but as the Prophet told it to a fresh audience 
 to-night, I will set it down for you. An old 
 couple, both of whom had been repeatedly 
 married before, presented themselves before the 
 parson to be married once more, and when in 
 front of the communion table sat down, upon 
 which the parson requested them to stand, 
 to which the old man replied, *^ We've usually 
 sotf' 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 17 
 
 My doctor tells me of two old patients of his^ 
 one aged 99 and the other 90. The first is dead 
 just recently, and when told she was going, 
 expressed great surprise, saying that her grand- 
 mother was hearty at 104. Shortly before her 
 death, the doctor found the old lady looking 
 tired and ** used-up." *' I have been dusting the 
 house down," said she, *^ these young people 
 (her 75-year old daughter, for example) don't 
 know how to dust a house down, but 
 dear-a-me, it do make me tired, to be sure ; 
 it didn't use to ! " This old lady could 
 remember the time of the French War, 
 and the constant rumours of an invasion, 
 **Boney is coming, Boney is coming," being at 
 last used to frighten children, and sure enough 
 ** Boney" did come in 1815, but that was 
 because he was ** brought" a prisoner on board 
 the ** Bellerophon " on his way to St. Helena, 
 where he lived six weary years longer, his last 
 words being ** Tete d'annee,*' Her grandmother 
 lived at Falmouth, and one day the news flew 
 abroad that the French were really coming and 
 that they intended to burn all the cornfields. 
 The wheat, &c., was hardly ripe, but it was 
 determined that it should be cut ; accordingly 
 all hands turned out with reaping hooks, 
 amongst the rest being the 104-year-old lady. 
 After she had been reaping vigorously the whole 
 day, she remarked **Well, I'm rather tired, so 
 think I will go and rest a bit " ; but it was too 
 
i8 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 much for her, and Father Time with his sickle 
 passing just then took the opportunity to reap 
 her, and so she died. 
 
 The other old lady, Mother H , as we used 
 
 to call her, is 90 now, and bids fair to live for 
 another 20 years. She hasn't any patience with 
 people dying so soon. Thirty years ago the 
 only mode of communicating with the outer 
 
 ivorld was by Mrs. 's van or 'bus, a sort 
 
 of huge packing case on four wheels with a very 
 
 small window at the back. Mrs. , like 
 
 John Gilpin, was of a frugal turn, and endeav- 
 oured to pay out as little as possible, while 
 receiving everything that came. Now, she could 
 do the journey in 2 J hours, (14 miles) and in 
 the interests of her customers she always tried 
 to do it ; but the law enforced a tax upon all 
 public vehicles doing the distance in less 
 than four hours ; how then should she reconcile 
 the two requirements ? She adopted many 
 devices, of which one shall suffice as an example. 
 Midway between Newquay and Truro is the 
 village of Michell, once an important place, 
 represented in Parliament by Sir Walter Raleigh. 
 Here, one day, the excise officer ** timed" Mrs. 
 
 , and presently sent a quick messenger to 
 
 his brother officer in Truro, informing him of 
 the hour at which the ** van " had passed. On 
 approaching Truro the wary old lady spied the 
 exciseman, and at once decided upon her course 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 19 
 
 of action. **Ah! Mrs. , I have caught 
 
 you at last, you have driven from Michell at the 
 rate of eight miles an hour, and will have to 
 appear before a magistrate for carrying passen- 
 gers at such a speed without a license." 
 ** Passengers,'* she said, ** they be no passengers, 
 they be friends of mine, and I am giving them a 
 ride because it's my birthday ! " 
 
 It has long been known that the Phoenicians 
 traded with Cornwall, taking away tin. You 
 will remember Carn Brea Hill ? Recently 
 excavations have been made there, and amongst 
 other things found there is an old Roman, or 
 rather Numidian coin of the date 1 15 B.C. This is 
 the first direct evidence of Phoenicia trading with 
 Cornwall as regards coins. Very curiously, the 
 part of Asia Minor the Phoenicians came from 
 have two customs or peculiarities exactly 
 like what are in vogue in Cornwall — they use 
 saffron in their cakes and also make clotted 
 cream. We have friends now staying with us 
 from Syria who are well acquainted with these 
 facts; so that, although they ** didn't know 
 everything down in Judee," they knew a thing 
 or two. I wonder if they knew how to make 
 strawberry short-cake ? I expect not, for that 
 was invented in 1876 in America (as far as I am 
 concerned). '¥ 
 
 A few days ago a number of lunatics from 
 Bodmin visited the Porth, and one very 
 
20 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 well-spoken old lady got into conversation 
 with Elsie Fisher. Enquiring who lived at 
 Glendorgal, and who all the people there 
 were, she was told they all belonged to the 
 house, **What a big family the gentleman 
 must have " said she — (there were only about 
 eighteen). Presently she told Elsie that they 
 lived in a bigger house than Glendorgal, and it 
 had a beautiful wall round it to keep all the 
 naughty people out. **You know," she said, 
 "we can come out whenever we like, and I 
 think I shall take apartments soon ; but it's 
 very comfortable inside, and, besides, it is very 
 improving. You know we are there just to 
 improve our minds, and we learn lots of things 
 that you don't." She was only sixty years old, 
 and didn't seem to think it was rather late to be 
 at school ; reminding me of the man in our 
 village who said one day, ^'I've been forty 
 years a fool, so now I've left off, and am going 
 to school." 
 
 ¥ 
 
 We have some very interesting visitors from 
 Mount Lebanon, Dr. Beshara Manasseh and 
 his wife (you have met the latter), Fritz, 
 their brother, a medical student in London, 
 Lily, their sister, and lastly their son ** Richard." 
 The Doctor is the Medical Superintendent of the 
 Friends' Mission at Brumana, up the Lebanon 
 Range, out of Beyrout, in Syria. The Friends 
 have a very large establishment out there — 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 21 
 
 schools, training homes for boys and girls, a 
 hospital, &c., and are doing a great work. The 
 colony was founded by Theophilus Waldmeier, a 
 Swiss-German, born a Roman Catholic, but when 
 a young man converted to Protestantism, and, 
 becoming connected with a Missionary Training 
 Institution, went out to Palestine under the 
 ^well-known Bishop Gobat — ultimately going as 
 Missionary to Abyssinia, where he had a remark- 
 able career, fully set forth in his very interesting 
 autobiography (a copy of which I send you). 
 Mr. Waldmeier became the confidential adviser 
 of King Theodore, assisted in making roads, 
 establishing schools, &c., and obtained an 
 almost unrivalled knowledge of that interesting 
 country. He became so indispensable to the 
 King, that he found it impossible to obtain 
 leave to quit the country, although he desired 
 to do so, having been there many years. 
 King Theodore sent a letter to Queen Victoria, 
 but, from some unexplained cause, never 
 received a reply, and, angered at this, he 
 caused all the missionaries to be made prisoners 
 and treated them very badly — some of them 
 dying. Frequently Mr. Waldmeier was ordered 
 out to be shot, but the King, relenting, ordered 
 him back again. At length the English Govern- 
 ment sent out an expedition under General 
 Napier to secure the release of the prisoners, 
 and, after a wonderful march a great distance 
 inland, they reached Magdala, the King's 
 
22 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 stronghold. A demand for the release of the 
 missionaries was sent in, and refused. The 
 King sent for Mr. Waldmeier, and told him he 
 had intended killing him, but said he: **You 
 have been a good, true friend to me, you have 
 never lied, and I cannot kill you. I shall die 
 myself to-morrow, and if I killed you, how 
 could I look upon your face up above?" He then 
 ordered Mr. Waldmeier to take a message to the 
 English general encamped below, and giving him 
 his royal seal, ordered him to bring back a reply 
 at once. Mr. Waldmeier went, and brought a 
 message back, upon which the King determined 
 to fight, first ordering Mr. Waldmeier, his wife 
 and child (Rosa), to leave the place and go to 
 the English at once. You may be sure they 
 went quickly, having great difficulty in passing 
 the soldiers in the gateway, but the King's ring 
 let them through. Next day, King Theodore, 
 in passing down through this gate, was either 
 killed by his own people or committed suicide^ 
 and the war was at an end. Mr. Waldmeier 
 then returned to Syria and founded the Mission 
 at Brumana, my wife visiting them there in 1880. 
 Rosa paid us a visit in 1881, and we have been 
 good friends ever since. Soon after returning 
 to Syria she married Dr. Manasseh, and little 
 Richard was so named in my honour. He is 
 now about ten years old, with wonderful eyes, 
 and the liveliest, most springy, mercurial boy I 
 ever saw. They also have a little daughter. 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 23; 
 
 Irma, six years old. It was not convenient to* 
 bring her, and when her mother was leaving 
 Brumana, this ** six-year-old " looked straight at 
 her with her dark eyes, and said: ** Mother, 
 how can you leave me ? '* and her mother felt 
 very uncomfortable, for it was a very trying" 
 remark. Fritz you know, but you have not met 
 Lily, nor had I until she came to Glendorgal. 
 Lily is only fifteen, but she is a tall, fine girl, 
 very dignified, and perfectly at her ease, as 
 becomes the descendant of a long line of kings. 
 When I met her and her sister Rosa just outside 
 the house at Glendorgal, I said to Rosa, while 
 raising my hand to indicate Lily's height, 
 ** Consider the lilies, how they grow T' It was 
 at Brumana Mission where one of the native 
 scholars tried to encourage the drooping spirits of 
 Mr. Waldmeier by telling him of the great good 
 he had done, and how the people were improved. 
 **Why," said she, **when you came first no 
 one thought anything of stealing a fowl, but 
 now they only steal an egg ! " Upon which 
 another bore testimony, saying that when the 
 missionary first came her son used to thrash her 
 every day, but now he only did it once a month f 
 And so the missionary felt encouraged. Elsie 
 is to return with our visitors and stay in Syria 
 till the Spring of next year. Our Syrian friends 
 are immensely delighted with the scenery about 
 Glendorgal. At Brumana they are always in 
 sight of the Mediterranean, and sometimes go 
 
24 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 down to it, but that sea is practically tideless, 
 like Lake Mendota, only rising and falling about 
 two feet ; whereas here the tide rises twenty- 
 eight feet and recedes nearly a mile, leaving a 
 beautiful beach. The doctor has a splendid 
 native costume with him, consisting of a 
 beautiful outer robe of white soft silk and inner 
 skirts, with a loose, coloured scarf around the 
 -waist, and on his head the regular Turkish red 
 cloth fez with tassel. A few years ago, a friend 
 of the doctor's came to visit us here, his name 
 was ** Youssof-ab-del-Nour Fakeer." He came 
 to find an English wife, but did not succeed, 
 finally obtaining one at Marseilles or Lyons. 
 He is a silk grower near Beyrout. 
 
 August 22ND. 
 
 Poor little Gyp HL has been very ill and in 
 hospital for a month, suffering from gastritis 
 and other ailments. She was considered well 
 enough to travel from Kingston to Glendorgal, 
 and came on Monday. She was desperately 
 tired and exhausted. We had her in our 
 bedroom, and in the night the poor little 
 thing came round to Lady T. and whined, 
 and was taken into bed, where she fainted, and 
 for more than an hour appeared to be dead. We 
 then gave her some brandy ; she at once re- 
 vived, and then we gave her some of Brand's 
 essence of beef, which completed her recovery, 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 25 
 
 and now (three days after) I hear from Glen- 
 dorgal she is quite well and lively. 
 
 ($> 
 August 26th. 
 I HAVE been very unwell, and have left Glen- 
 dorgal to pay a visit to our friends, the Howitts 
 (where you visited last year), at Nottingham, and 
 as they were going to the sea-side, I have come 
 on with them to this place, Sutton-on-the-Sea, in 
 Lincolnshire, coming through Boston on the way. 
 ** Boston Stump," as its church tower is called, 
 can be seen for a great distance in this flat 
 •country, like the church tower of Dort, in 
 Holland, which you will remember well. The 
 ^seaside here is just like Scheveningen, in 
 Holland, great banks of sand keeping the sea 
 out, and everything as flat and uninteresting as 
 it is possible to be ; such a contrast to the 
 north coast of Cornwall. This is Tennyson's 
 country, and he well describes the scene from 
 the sand-banks : — 
 
 ** The league-long waves of Lincolnshire." 
 
 Do you remember a very nice little silver tea- 
 pot and jug at the Howitts ? Mrs. Howitt tells 
 me that a man got twenty years transportation 
 for stealing these. He had to ** leave his country 
 for his country's good." 
 
 Newquay used to be famous for the vast 
 <juantities of pilchards caught here, but they 
 
26 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 have left the coast for some years. Curiously 
 enough, they went at the same time that a new 
 minister came, and the fishermen say they will 
 never come again until the parson goes ! 
 
 An Essex visitor tells us of the customs of 
 the farm labourers in that county. It seems 
 they go up to the house at ii a.m. and 4 p.m. 
 for ale, and they call it their * * lebenses and 
 fowreses." 
 
 During the Cavern Concert at the Banqueting 
 Hall, Glendorgal, last week, there were fewer 
 lights than usual, and the people went splashing 
 into the pools, and before the concert was over 
 the pianist called out : — ** Ladies and gentlemen, 
 the tide won't wait for the piano, "and then they 
 proceeded to take it out, the remaining songs 
 being unaccompanied. 
 
 Mrs. Howitt was telling us this evening of the 
 experience she and two schoolfellows had in 
 London, when girls, that reminded me of an 
 incident which occurred about a dozen years ago 
 near Old Temple Bar. Two young gentlemen 
 had just left a newspaper office in Fleet Street, 
 where they were engaged. It was about mid- 
 night when, just after passing through Temple 
 Bar, they saw a young lady standing in a 
 doorway and crying as though her heart would 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 27 
 
 break. One of the young gentlemen was for 
 speaking to her, but the other tried to dissuade 
 him from doing so ; but he persevered, and,, 
 approaching her, politely asked if he could 
 assist her. She told him she had that afternoon 
 come up to London with her father from 
 Warwickshire, and had gone to an hotel in one 
 of the side streets off the Strand. Soon after 
 getting there, she thought of something 
 she wished to buy, and, never doubting 
 her ability to find her way back, went out 
 into the Strand, but not finding the kind 
 of shop she wanted, went on and on, until, 
 beginning to feel alarmed, she turned, but 
 could not for the life of her remember either the 
 name of the street or the hotel, and had been 
 wandering up and down vainly endeavouring to 
 discover them, her distress on account of 
 her father and herself being terrible. She said 
 her father was a clergyman, and that they had 
 come to Paddington Station. The young man 
 suggested that they should drive to the Pad- 
 dington Hotel and telegraph her friends in 
 Warwickshire, and this they did, the lady 
 inside the cab, and the young gentleman along- 
 side the driver. Arrived at the hotel, he placed 
 the young lady in the charge of the lady 
 manager, and proceeded to wire to the Warwick- 
 shire vicarage. They wired to the father (knowing 
 the hotel), who soon appeared, and with un- 
 bounded joy and gratitude found his daughter. 
 
^8 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 Cards were exchanged, and before Christmas 
 the young gentleman received an invitation to 
 spend the holidays at the vicarage, and, wonder 
 of wonders, before summer was ended orange 
 flowers and wedding bells were in great re- 
 quisition ! 
 
 In this neighbourhood, Sutton-in-Lincolnshire, 
 there are a number of villages with names 
 ending in **thorpe,*' the old Saxon name for 
 a village. Close by are Mabelthorpe, Trus- 
 thorpe, and Traddlethorpe. Sutton is quite 
 an old place. I noticed on the front of the inn 
 the date 1691. This inn used to be called ** The 
 Jolly Bacchus," but a few years ago a bishop 
 istopped at it, and in deference to his (spiritual) 
 lordship the landlord painted out the second 
 word, and the place was no longer *^ Jolly." 
 What a pity that the representatives of religion 
 should bring melancholy in their train ! As a 
 matter of fact, the devotees of the wine-god are 
 as jolly as ever. 
 
 Talking of bishops, the right reverend gentle- 
 man who presides over the See of Liverpool 
 (Dr. Ryle) at a meeting of the British Medical 
 Association, in Liverpool, greatly offended (or 
 Ryled ? ) the medicos by informing them that 
 he was ** not ashamed to say that one of his 
 sons was studying for the medical profession ! " 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 29 
 
 (Cure of souls versus the cure of bodies). Dr. 
 Ryle is not popular amongst the M.D.'s, 
 although, generally speaking, the two profes- 
 sions get on very well together, not being in 
 opposition, although both may be attending the 
 same patient at the same time. A few years 
 ago there was a great controversy in Birmingham 
 between the allopaths and homoeopaths upon the 
 occasion of the founding of a medical institute 
 for the use of the profession, with library, club 
 rooms, &c., the public being invited to subscribe 
 towards the cost of erection. The question 
 was should the homoeopathic doctors be allowed 
 the use of the building. A public meeting of 
 subscribers was called to decide the point, and 
 the M.D.*s fought each other with great des- 
 peration. I was sitting by the side of the 
 genial Roman Catholic Canon O'Sullivan, 
 'D,'D,y who presently remarked to me, ** See 
 how these M.D.'s love one another ! " ** How 
 about the D.D.'s, doctor?" I asked. ** Oh^ 
 don't mention them," he responded, ** they are 
 the D-Dest of all ! " This Canon O'Sullivan 
 lived at Solihull, near old Gilbertstone, where 
 there is a beautiful old church. The vicar was 
 a pompous old fellow, full of sonorous phrases, 
 and one day, meeting the Roman Catholic Priest 
 near the church, remarked to him, ** Oh, Canon, 
 we are going to restore the Church." **Very 
 glad to hear it," replied the witty Irishman,, 
 ** hand us over the keys ! " 
 
30 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 Did you ever hear of the Bishop whose 
 umbrella was ** taken " from the stand at the 
 club ? Next day a gentleman asked the porter 
 how the Bishop seemed to take the loss of his 
 umbrella? ** Oh, sir," he said, ** his lordship*s 
 language was 'orful ! " 
 
 American visitors are very numerous in Eng- 
 land this year, and vast numbers ^o to Stratford- 
 on-Avon. Since April ist, 18,400 people have 
 been shown through Shakespeare's birthplace, 
 and last Wednesday over 1,100 were passed 
 through. You will recollect that the Prophet 
 Samuel is one of three trustees appointed under 
 special Act of Parliament to take care of, and 
 manage, the Shakespeare property, which now 
 belongs to the State. 
 
 At chapel, yesterday, the preacher gave us a 
 melancholy sermon about King Jehosaphat, so 
 as we were returning I felt impelled to give my 
 friends my account of that famous king — 
 
 ** The mighty King Sennacherib 
 Of every man could crack a rib, 
 Excepting King Jehosaphat, 
 He could not his, he was so fat." 
 
 And I am pleased to be able to say it somewhat 
 removed the depressing feeling caused by the 
 sermon. 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 31 
 
 Here is another ** Bishop " story. It was at 
 some church function at which a curate had to 
 say a few words in commendation of his Bishop, 
 and this is what he said, ** I am sure the Bishop 
 needs no words of comminution from me." 
 Unhappy curate ! no preferment for him. 
 
 During our walk this morning, a discussion 
 arose as to the correct pronunciation of the 
 words ** either and neither." You know what 
 vty pronunciation of these words is, but Dorothy 
 and her brother always make the ** ei " sound 
 *M " as in German. Of course, I gave the 
 reason for my practice. Prior to the advent of 
 George I. in England the words were always 
 pronounced as ** ee,'* being of Saxon, and not 
 German, origin ; but George I. not being able 
 to speak English, in his attempts to speak the 
 language, naturally (being a German) said 
 **nyther," or rather ** nyder," ** eyeder," and 
 his courtiers, after the manner of such folk, 
 followed suit, and altered their mother English 
 to suit the new German king. But pure English 
 is good enough for me without being adulterated 
 with German, and especially such a German. 
 You recollect the reception given to two frowsy 
 (frau-sy) followers of this highly-moral Prince 
 when they landed at Portsmouth ? Having 
 entered a carriage which was in waiting for 
 them, they were soon surrounded by a mob of 
 roughs, who yelled at and pelted them. Pre- 
 
32 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 sently one of them put her ugly face through 
 the window, and in the most insinuating tones 
 and manner said, ** Mein goot peoples all, we 
 
 come for all your goots ! " **Yes, you, 
 
 and for all our chattels, too," was the response, 
 accompanied by a dead cat. 
 
 You ask me if I think the world is as round as 
 it was, and express an opinion that it is getting 
 longer and longer, especially while our steamer 
 was on its way to Liverpool. Well, here in 
 Lincolnshire, it is as flat as a pancake. When 
 you asked if the rotundity of the globe was as 
 great as usual, I daresay you were thinking of 
 that little story I told you about a camp meeting, 
 when a good man got up and began his address 
 with these remarkable words : — ** Dear friends, 
 the world is round, like a 'osse's *ead.'* Before 
 he could ^o any further, his son, who was 
 sitting by his side, pulled his coat tails, and 
 said : — ** Sit down, feyther, sit down ; thee'll 
 only make a mess on't," and he subsided. 
 
 My host and his son are doctors, and we 
 sometimes talk of wonderful cures, some of 
 them effected without medicine, and some even 
 without the aid of the doctor ; as, for example : 
 — There was in Cumberland an old woman, one 
 of the tribe of ** wise women,*' who was very clever 
 as a cattle doctor, always ending her diagnosis 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 33 
 
 with the same formula, **If he lee, he lee (live) ; if 
 he dee, he dee " (die). In that village there lay a 
 gentleman sick unto death with a quinsey in his 
 throat, and the doctors could do nothing for 
 him, so the **wise woman " was sent for, and 
 was introduced into the sick man's chamber. 
 She wore a Mother Shipton hat, and leaned 
 heavily on her stick. Advancing to the bed~ 
 side, she looked earnestly at the poor invalid, 
 and then, tapping the floor with her stick, said : 
 **If he lee, he lee ; if he dee, he dee.*' The 
 effect was instantaneous. The sick man knew 
 the formula perfectly well, but never dreamt of 
 her using it ; it made him laugh so very heartily 
 that the quinsey broke, and he did not ** dee." 
 
 f^ 
 August 26th. 
 We are on the sea here, at Sutton, but what a 
 contrast to our loved Glendorgal ! Here there 
 are no cliffs, only little sandhills that keep the 
 sea from swamping the land, not a rock to be 
 seen, and ne'er a bit of blue or green on the 
 water, all being the colour of mud. All the 
 same the air is lovely, and there are lots of 
 happy children playing about and vastly enjoy- 
 ing themselves. 
 
 We were talking about an old Jew, at dinner 
 to-day, which reminded me of an ancient 
 Hebrew who once lived at Cambridge, and was 
 much resorted to by impecunious youths at the 
 
 c 
 
34 
 
 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 various colleges. These lively youths hated the 
 old usurer, because of the terribly high rate of 
 interest he charged them for his advances, and 
 for the constant trouble they got into with their 
 fathers in consequence. One day three of them 
 were taking a country walk when they espied 
 the Jew coming towards them. Their plans were 
 formed immediately, and the leader posted one 
 of the others in a corner of the road to await 
 the arrival of Moses when he was to salute him 
 with ** Good evening, Father Abraham," the 
 second at a little distance was to say, ** Good 
 evening. Father Isaac," while the leader himself 
 a little further on was to complete the game by 
 saying, ** Good evening, Father Jacob." Soon 
 the old man came along, and rascal No. i said, 
 ** Good evening. Father Abraham ; " the old 
 man took no notice of him, but when he heard 
 the second say, ** Good evening. Father Isaac," 
 he gave him a rather vicious turn of the head ; 
 but when the third salutation had been given he 
 went on a pace or two, and then turning round, 
 leaning on his staflf with one hand and with the 
 other uplifted, he said, ** I am neither Abraham, 
 Isaac, nor Jacob, but I am Saul, the son of 
 Kish, seeking his father's asses, and lo ! I have 
 found them ; " and then he ran towards them, 
 saying ** Gee-up, gee-up, gee," and drove them 
 off. I think Abraham scored. Quite so. Which 
 reminds me of an Oxford don about the close of 
 last century. He was an advocate of total 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 35 
 
 abstinence long before the word ** Teetotal" 
 bad been invented, and rendered himself very 
 obnoxious to the undergraduates by his constant 
 admonitions against indulgence in spirituous 
 liquors. One afternoon several of the students 
 were taking a walk in the country when they 
 espied the don, and quickly decided to have some 
 sport, and on coming up with him they sur- 
 rounded him, and remarked that having caught 
 him they were determined not to let him go 
 until — of all things in the world ! — he had 
 preached them a sermon ! ** Very well, gentle- 
 men, if it is a case of nolens voienSy of course 
 1 must submit." Now, the don was a little 
 man, so, Zaccheus like, they hoisted him on 
 to a tree stump, and having requested them to 
 bare their heads, he began, ** Dearly beloved 
 brethren, as I am but short, my sermon shall 
 not be long. I will take for my text a single 
 word, * Malt,* and I will divide it into four heads. 
 M-A-L-T — firstly, M, my masters; secondly, 
 A, all of you ; thirdly, L, leave off ; and fourthly 
 and lastly, T, tippling;" and having pronounced 
 the benediction, he dismissed the congregation, 
 but they did not leave him until they one and 
 all assured him he was a brick and they would 
 never worry him more. 
 
 Here are some nick-names for English 
 Counties which I have just come across : — 
 
36 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 ** Silly Suffolk/' ^* Witless Wiltshire/' " Berk- 
 shire Dogs/' ** Hampshire Dogs/' ** Kentish 
 Hogs/' *Msle of Wight Calves/' ** Essex 
 Calves/' ** Devonshire Dumplings/' ** Lincoln- 
 shire Louts/' *^ Yorkshire Tykes" (or **Dogs"), 
 Liverpool men are called ** Dicky Sams/' and 
 then it is ** A Manchester Man/' ** A Liverpool 
 Gent/' and **A Birmingham Chap." (See 
 CasselVs Family Magazine for September, 1895, 
 sent by this mail.) 
 
 Outside Birmingham, on the Great Western 
 Railway, are five stations named : — Solihull, 
 Olton, Acock's Green, Small Heath, and 
 Bordesley ; the people of these places are nick- 
 named :-~**Sillians," **01d 'uns,"**Green 'uns," 
 ** Small Heathens," ** Border Ruffians," and 
 then ** Brummagem Buttons." (Solihull is often 
 pronounced *'Silyill," hence ** Silly 'uns.") 
 
 You will think I am fond of telling stories of 
 Bishops and Parsons, but did you ever hear of 
 Canon Wilberforce ? He is a fine man and a 
 great teetotaller, and often lectures upon the 
 subject. It seems he had a very shabby ulster 
 coat which his family were anxious he should 
 discard, but it was comfortable, so he kept on 
 wearing it. Now the Canon always travels third- 
 class, and on one occasion was leaving New- 
 castle by the train, wearing his shabby ulster coat ; 
 next him was sitting a prosperous-looking 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 37 
 
 commercial traveller (** drummer" you call him, 
 don*t you ?) and he kept looking at this shabby- 
 looking member of the clerical profession, and 
 formed a very definite and very unflattering 
 opinion of him. Presently he said, looking at 
 the Canon : — ** Poor Curate, I suppose ? " ** I 
 'was a Curate, once," said the Canon. **Ah! 
 drink, I suppose, eh?" and the Canon laughed; 
 but from that moment the ulster was doomed, 
 and he never wore it again. 
 
 When you were here (at Nottingham), did you 
 ever pay a ** Visit to the Villa?" I know you 
 did not, for it was Winter ; but you will 
 perhaps remember that the Howitts have a 
 kitchen garden about a mile from their house, 
 and there I went this morning and greatly 
 enjoyed my visit, being accompanied by Dorothy, 
 William and Alfred Howitt. When I have told 
 you the immense number of things grown in 
 this garden, you will be able to form some faint 
 idea of its size. In the middle of it is a very 
 elegant little house, which they call the Villa ; it 
 is not large, but very convenient ; in it are three 
 windows, looking out on to the garden, and 
 elegantly draped with curtains a la Liberty, 
 presenting a very pleasing appearance in the 
 distance. Benches and chairs afford ample 
 sitting accommodation. There is a nice fire- 
 place and mantelpiece with flower vases upon 
 it and a mirror over it. The walls are covered 
 
38 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 with a whitish material, laid on like paint, and 
 obtained by burning some remarkable stone 
 found in quarries in the neighbourhood, and 
 made fit for use as paint by the addition of 
 water. The ventilation of the Villa is carried 
 out with the greatest efficiency, and most com- 
 plete simplicity, by the simple expedient of 
 omitting one pane of glass in one window, and 
 smashing a pane in one of the others. A com- 
 plete set of apparatus is kept in a cupboard for 
 the provision of really first-class teas upon great 
 occasions. Outside the front door stands an 
 elegant trellis-work porch, having open Gothic 
 doorways in three directions, and forming an 
 excellent shelter from storms, and for the enjoy- 
 ment of the glories of the rising sun. Beautiful 
 paths, not very wide, but rather long, lead to all 
 parts of the garden. (And, here, by way of 
 parenthesis, I must remind you of what the 
 French soldiers said after their defeat at 
 Waterloo, when they were skedaddling towards 
 France: — ** Confound these Belgian leagues, 
 they are not very wide, but they are deucedly 
 long.") One lovely path takes you down to the 
 mushroom house — my hostess and family are 
 very fond of mushrooms, so they took special 
 pains last year to prepare the bed in order to have 
 an extra good crop to provide for some expected 
 visitors. They had been advised to mix a large 
 quantity of salt with the mould (it is a well- 
 established fact that salt is good in growing 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 39 
 
 mushrooms), which they did, and after a 
 thorough saturation of it with boiling water, 
 calmly awaited results, leaving all the rest 
 to Nature. When the time came for mush- 
 rooms to appear, they went with some large 
 baskets to bring a supply to the house ; but 
 when they got there the place was bare, not 
 a mushroom to be seen, and not one has 
 appeared since. Quite so. When afternoon 
 tea is offered to visitors, a very simple device is 
 adopted to procure milk for that delightful 
 beverage — **the cup that cheers but not m- 
 ebriates " (Cbw/^r). A stick (I beg pardon, a 
 pole of limited length) is stuck into the top of 
 the garden gate, and the purveyor of milk, 
 seeing the cardboard signal, turns aside from 
 his accustomed beat and supplies their needs. 
 And, indeed, their arrangements, taken al- 
 together, are simply idyllic. Over the Gothic 
 trellis-work porch is trained in graceful festoons 
 — evidently the work of a fair descendant of the 
 first gardener*s wife — the lovely Clematis 
 Jackmanii, now in full bloom, while looking 
 down one of the box-edged paths, the eye feasts 
 on a glorious vision of rhubarb, with its 
 magnificent green leaves and red stems ; upon 
 countless sweet peas, chicory in full bloom, 
 scarlet and yellow poppies — such a blaze, and 
 scarlet runners (French beans). Looking away to 
 the west, through another glorious Gothic arch, is 
 seen Woolaton Hall, where Oliver Cromwell 
 
40 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 slept a night (with one eye open), and all around 
 in rich profusion are found marigolds, esch- 
 scholtzias, and phlox, chrysanthemums and 
 dahlias. One side of the Villa, too, is covered 
 with a beautiful Virginia creeper, now, alas ! by 
 its changing colour, warning us that Summer is 
 fast passing away. In other sections of this 
 paradise of floral delights the eye feasts upon 
 clusters of gladiolas, stately sun-flowers, modest 
 daisies and pansies, while the ivy and lovely 
 convolvulus creeping up the walls of the porch, 
 once again illustrates the loving dependence of 
 beauty upon strength. Here again is a lovely 
 lily upon which the berries appear before the 
 flower, wall-flowers, campanulas, lilacs and 
 carnations, and the wanderer's comfort, com- 
 monly called ** traveller's joy," and further on 
 in this never-ending panorama, left blooming 
 alone, is the **last rose of Summer." Ah me ! 
 And then there is yet another, which, even if over- 
 looked by the eye, would certainly be perceived 
 by the sense of smell, viz. , the lovely mignonette. 
 After this description you will wonder at my 
 calling this delightful place a ** kitchen garden " 
 — rightly wonder, too. I should have said that 
 some parts of the garden are devoted to kitchen 
 produce, for here we find, in luxuriant 
 abundance, tomatoes, vegetable marrows, far 
 reaching in their tendencies, currants both black 
 and white, beans, celery, raspberries, a wealth 
 of apples, yellow, green and red, pears of 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 41 
 
 delicious flavour (I tasted them), and although 
 there were no strawberries, there were goose- 
 berries, and I, for one, prefer the latter, not- 
 withstanding the dictum of the Elizabethan 
 writer who said that ** Doubtless God Almighty 
 could have made a better berry than the straw- 
 berry, but doubtless He never did.'* With all 
 these attractions, do you not regret you did not 
 visit Nottingham at this period of the year? 
 and is there any wonder that, after meetings on 
 Sundays, the good Friends walk up here and 
 take their fill of delicious scents and even more 
 delicious fruit ? I must not forget that in one 
 •corner of the garden I found some Balm of 
 Gilead, and was told something of it that I had 
 not heard before, viz., that it only flourishes 
 when the Man is the ruler of his house. It 
 seems that the last owner was a lady, and she 
 found no Balm in Gilead ; but now it grows in 
 .abundance, and you will ask, **Why, Why?" 
 After our perambulations through the beautiful 
 gardens, you will not be surprised when I tell 
 you that I felt glad when I got in sight of the 
 hostelry that goes by the name of the 
 ** Gardener's Rest," for it told me I was near 
 my temporary home, just before reaching which 
 we passed a house which bore this inscription : — 
 **This 'ouse is ornted" (haunted): — and thus ends 
 -our delectable tale of our ** Visit to the Villa " — 
 don't you wish you were with us ? 
 
42 
 
 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 To-day I attended the Friends' Meetings 
 (Nottingham). A g-entleman prayed, and his 
 man preached, and was as good as his 
 master. How about American Democracy after 
 that ? Every month, in every Friends' Meeting, 
 for nearly two and a half centuries, certain 
 ** advices" to members are publicly read, and 
 to-day happened to be the time for doing so. 
 This is one of the ** advices," and was read to- 
 day: — ^* Friends, do you maintain strict in- 
 tegrity in all your transactions in trade, and in 
 your other outward concerns ? and are you 
 careful not to defraud the public revenue ? " 
 With this constant reminder before them, it is 
 scarcely to be wondered at that the Quakers 
 have so long maintained a high reputation for 
 private and public virtues. But, alas ! there are 
 dark-coloured sheep even among them. 
 
 Here is a little bit from the Rev. Phillips 
 Brooks: — **The nobleness of actions depends 
 more upon the reasons why we do them than on 
 the acts themselves." 
 
 Nottingham, like Madison, is situated on 
 several hills, and is a very picturesque old town. 
 In the centre is a great open space, where 
 during week-days a very busy market is held ; 
 the whole area being covered with stalls. On 
 Saturday night these stalls are all removed and 
 the square well swept. 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 43 
 
 You will remember the old Castle (now the 
 Art Gallery), with the pretty park around it ? 
 Unfortunately the Gallery is closed for re- 
 decoration, so I could see nothing of its 
 treasures. I will not say anything more about 
 this interesting town, because I am sending a 
 nicely-written history of it. 
 
 A few years ago there came to England from 
 the very Far West an old Quaker preacher — a 
 tall, spare man, with severe features and a 
 somewhat unmelodious voice. He came to visit 
 the English Quaker churches, and in the course 
 of his travels went to Norfolk, where he was 
 to be the guest of an ancient and honourable 
 family of Quaker bankers — Gurney by name. 
 On the appointed day Mr. Gurney drove to the 
 station to meet the stranger, desiring to show 
 him all attention and courtesy. It was a 
 winter's day, and ** the way was long and the 
 wind was cold," especially as the host stood on 
 the platform awaiting the incoming train. When 
 it came, friend Gurney quickly recognised his 
 visitor, and, approaching him, said he would 
 take him to the carriage, which was waiting, 
 when the following conversation ensued : — 
 
 Visitor : ** I prefer to walk." 
 
 Host: ** But it is three miles from here, and 
 the roads are wet and muddy." 
 
 Visitor : ** I prefer to walk." 
 
44 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 Host : ** But they will be waiting dinner." 
 
 Visitor : ** I prefer to walk.*' 
 
 So, poor Mr. Gurney, looking down at his 
 thin shoes, and thinking of the miry roads, was 
 fain to go to his coachman and send him on in 
 advance. Arriving at the house, dinner was 
 soon announced, and friend Obadiah was seated 
 at his host's right hand, and was speedily 
 engaged in satisfying his appetite. Now, when 
 I was in America, in 1876, I was informed by a 
 Californian gentleman what the indispensable 
 qualifications of a good diner out were, viz., ** A 
 long arm, a quick eye, and a silent tongue." 
 Thanks to the good waiting at the rich 
 friend's table, the first two qualifications were 
 not necessary, but to the great embarrassment 
 of host and company, the American would not 
 say a word except in monosyllables. The 
 situation was becoming intolerable, when pre- 
 sently Mr. Gurney said to friend Obadiah, 
 '' What dost thou think of the roast beef of Old 
 England ? " Resting his hands on the table, 
 knife and fork pointing towards the ceiling, the 
 visitor replied with great deliberation, ** I've 
 tasted better." As if by magic the tension 
 vanished, the other guests laughed, and conver- 
 sation became general, Obadiah being by no 
 means the least interesting of the company. 
 
 It must have been the same old man, who, on 
 landing in Liverpool, was taken direct to the 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 45 
 
 house of a friend of mine, and, having been duly 
 shown to his bedroom, was supposed to be all 
 right till morning, but my friend had not taken 
 into account that his visitor was from ** Out 
 West." Not long after the family had retired 
 the master was aroused by loud cries from his 
 guest, who informed him that there was a very 
 unhealthy smell in his room that was choking 
 him. My friend, guessing what the trouble 
 was, at once extinguished all lights, and enter- 
 ing the room proceeded to turn the gas off, 
 when the old man told him he had blown it out 
 before getting into bed. 
 
 When I was in a shop at Sutton a boy came 
 in and asked for a penny ** boo-un " (bun). 
 
 A Lincolnshire farmer, desiring to show his 
 appreciation of a clergyman's kindness, brought 
 him a bag of nuts, saying, ** You'll find them all 
 cracked, parson ; and, by Garge, parson, 'twas 
 a tough job, for my jaws warked, the missus's 
 jaws warked, and the boys' jaws warked, and it 
 took us all night to crack 'em — it did, indeed." 
 
 Did you ever hear of the Speaker in the House 
 of Commons who got confused when the divi- 
 sion was called, and said, ** Rights to left, and 
 Noes to Ayes," instead of ** Ayes to the rights 
 and Noes to the left ? " 
 
46 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 I believe I told you of the remarkable srjeeze 
 made by my brother George in a village on the 
 banks of the Hudson River. We had been 
 walking most of the morning, when we came 
 to a little group of houses built in a semi- 
 circle on the site of an old quarry dug out of 
 the hill-side. As we got in the centre of the 
 semi-circle, George gave one of his terrific 
 sneezes, and another (he always gives two). 
 The effect, as the old Dominie would say, was 
 ** Prodee-gious," for a^Hnost tremendous echo 
 was the result, and then every door opened and 
 women appeared, some with babies, and others 
 with work in hand, wondering if it was the 
 crack of doom that they heard. They seemed 
 surprised when told that it was only my little 
 brother's sneeze. 
 
 Did it ever occur to you what an intimate 
 connection the sense of smell has with the 
 memory? A friend of mine, walking along, 
 noticed a peculiar smell, which at once took his 
 memory back more than fifty years to a place and 
 people far away ; and I never smell wall-flowers 
 without thinking of my grandmother and her gar- 
 den half a century ago. And speaking of my 
 grandmother naturally causes me to think of my 
 grandfather. The old man used to like his 
 grandsons to read to him, after dinner on 
 Sundays, ^* Wesley's Hymns" being generally 
 chosen. He would rest his head on the table 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 47 
 
 with a handkerchief over it, and then the 
 reading would begin. I well remember once 
 reading the hymn, **And am I born to die?" 
 Now my grandfather would not accept the 
 usual method of reading, but insisted upon the 
 sing-song style of the camp-meeting. I would 
 begin in this way, and then, when he was 
 asleep, would proceed in the usual tone ; but 
 the change invariably woke him, and the sing- 
 song style had to be adopted again. 
 
 Do you remember that story about Artemus 
 Ward, when he had delivered his last lecture at 
 Liverpool, before embarking for America ? The 
 audience was unusually enthusiastic, and re- 
 peatedly called him before the curtain. At last 
 he said : — ** Ladies and Gentlemen, I thank you 
 very much for your kindness, and only wish I 
 could show you how much I appreciate it ; but 
 if you will all come to New York, I shall be 
 delighted to see you ; you will know my house 
 directly you land, for it has got a big mortgage 
 upon it." 
 
 ■5" 
 
 September 4TH 
 (Written in train going through Derbyshire, ) 
 After spending a few hours in Robin Hood's 
 Sherwood Forest, which I may refer to later on, 
 I left Mansfield last evening for Manchester. 
 At Ambergate I had to change into another 
 
48 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 train, and had to wait for about half-an-hour. 
 On arriving at Manchester at nine o'clock, an 
 Inspector came to my carriage with a telegram 
 in his hand, and, looking at me, asked me for 
 my name and address, and, naturally enough, I 
 asked him what he wanted that for ; when he 
 told me he had received a telegram from the 
 station master at Ambergate, describing me 
 (very correctly, too,) and asking for the in- 
 formation. I was puzzled, and could form no 
 idea of what was wrong. I looked around and 
 found that my luggage was all right, I had left 
 nothing behind, and could not make it out, and, 
 remarking that at any rate I had done nothing 
 wrong, I gave him my card. Wm. Butler, our 
 Manchester manager, had met the train, and we 
 talked the matter over on the way to my hotel, 
 and presently I thought I had found the solution. 
 I remembered that in paying for my ticket at 
 Mansfield, which cost 9s. id., I had tendered a 
 sovereign, receiving in exchange a half- 
 sovereign, a sixpence, and fivepence. The 
 pence I got rid of, and I suppose I put the silver 
 and gold piece into my ticket pocket ; having 
 to wait at Ambergate, I placed my bag in 
 care of a porter, asking him to find me a seat, 
 and on the train coming in he did so, and 
 putting my hand into my pocket I took out 
 what I thought was a sixpence. I looked at it, 
 and fancied it seemed rather yellowish, but the 
 light being bad, and my sight not being good, I 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 49 
 
 thought it was fancy ; but not being quite 
 satisfied I looked again, and finally decided it 
 was a sixpence. On arriving at the hotel I at 
 once wrote to the Ambergate station-master, 
 detailing the circumstances, and saying I must 
 have given the porter half-sovereign in error, and 
 if that was so he was to give him 2s. 6d. and 
 return 7s. 6d. to me, and I expect I shall hear to- 
 morrow that this is the history of the matter — 
 quite a small adventure, was it not ? 
 
 You remember the famous Dr. Arnold, the 
 head-master of Rugby School, and father of 
 Matthew Arnold ? Dr. Arnold was a very suc- 
 cessful master, and turned out some splendid 
 fellows. He kept a sharp eye on the lads, and 
 used to say that when he saw a group of boys 
 standing heads together in the play-ground, 
 with one of them occasionally looking around 
 as if on guard, he could see the devil in the 
 midst of them ; and I have no doubt he could. 
 Dr. Percival was master after Dr. Arnold, and 
 one day he received a visit from the father of a 
 pupil bringing a letter from his son, complain- 
 ing loudly of his *form' master, who, he said, 
 was a ** perfect beast." Dr. Percival then read 
 the boy's letter, and then asked his visitor 
 if he had done so, and was told he had. 
 ** Read it again," said Dr. Percival, which he 
 proceeded to do ; and to his great surprise 
 
 D 
 
50 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 found he had not properly read it, for, after the 
 boy had g-iven the above unflattering opinion of 
 his teacher, he went on to say that **Dr. 
 Percival is a beast, too, but then he is a just 
 beast,'' The doctor laughed heartily and greatly 
 enjoyed the incident, and soon made the lad's 
 acquaintance. 
 
 Some time ago we were staying with the 
 children in the Isle of Wight, and when the 
 steamer from Ryde was approaching the main- 
 land, a railway official on board came to me 
 and asked if we would like a compartment in 
 the railway carriage to ourselves, and I agreed. 
 He quickly got our luggage in, and on leaving 
 I gave him a small fee, and he locked the 
 carriage door. Presently another smiling 
 official came and said, *^ Like the compartment 
 to yourselves, sir ?'' ** Yes," I said, *' but it is 
 all right ; we have already arranged it with 
 that man " (pointing to the individual). ** Oh ! 
 he has nothing to do with it ; he's the inspector, 
 sir ! " '^ Oh, indeed ! " I replied, ** and you are 
 the expector, I suppose ? " (Exit, smiling). 
 
 First Gutter Child : '' Wot's jography. Bill ?" 
 Second Gutter Child : '* Jography, why 
 
 jography is all about furren pairts, written by 
 
 'cute chaps what never been there." 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 51 
 
 And a class of ragged school boys were asked 
 the meaning of the word ** appetite/' but only- 
 one small boy knew, and this was his reply : — 
 ** When Tse hungry and sees a good dinner 
 afore me, then Fse *appy ; and when I'se eaten 
 it, then Fse tight — that's appetite ! " 
 
 I have given you two or three American 
 stories, so now I will give you one from the 
 West Indies. Some years ago when I was 
 collecting old Wedgwood ware, I obtained 
 some old bills of Josiah Wedgwood's, and on 
 the back of one of them, dated about 1780, I 
 found the following curious little story, in faded 
 ink : — ** Captain Peile, of Antigua, finding 
 himself without money and without credit, 
 blacked himself all over and sold himself as a 
 negro slave. On receiving payment the captain 
 took a bath, and then decamped with the 
 money." 
 
 f^ 
 
 September 2nd. 
 Went with the Howitts to Colwick Hall, going 
 by steamer on the River Trent, a beautiful 
 afternoon. It was in this fine old mansion that 
 a ball was given on the night before Waterloo, 
 when Mary Chaworth — Byron's Mary — wore a 
 wreath of oak-leaves and acorns, and when the 
 news of Waterloo arrived, she planted the latter 
 in front of the house, and we saw the oaks 
 there to-day. 
 
52 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 In a gathering in Sherwood Forest, some 
 years ago, a gentleman had to propose the 
 toast of **the ladies," and in his speech made this 
 remarkable observation : — ** He thought the 
 man who passed woman by, and said the 
 grandest sight in creation was Niagara Falls, 
 must surely have had a tremendous cataract in 
 his eye." 
 
 It is the custom amongst the Friends to hold 
 monthly meetings of their Society, when many 
 strangers come together, and it is the practice 
 for residents in the town where the meeting is 
 held, to throw their houses open and entertain 
 them at dinner. At Redruth, my old friend, 
 Geo. C. on one occasion had such a gathering, and 
 quite a company came together. Now George's 
 mother lived with him, and she had become 
 what the Cornish call *'totalish^' or childish; 
 at dinner she was placed alongside her son. 
 By-and-bye a Friend asked for gravy. ** Who 
 is that talking about the grave at dinner time ? 
 it isn't 7?/^." Her son explained that the Friend 
 was not talking about the grave, but was asking 
 for gravy. ** That's just what I said," replied 
 the old woman, **and it isn't fitty to be talking 
 about the grave at dinner time." 
 
 In our village lived Tommy Merritt and 
 Biddy, his wife, with their family and lodgers. 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 53 
 
 They were miners, and it is the custom in 
 Cornish mines to have four weeks months and 
 five weeks months, so as to equalize the year. 
 On five weeks months it was usual to give 
 what are called *^troyles" or feasts, and so it 
 was with Biddy, and she generally gave her 
 family roast fowls with the usual adjuncts. 
 Now it was generally noted that after these 
 *^troyles " Biddy used to appear with her jaws 
 (chackSj she called them) tied up, and when 
 asked what was the matter, would reply that 
 her questioner would know what was the matter 
 if she had had to prepare the ** adjuncts" for 
 three roast fowls, as she had done ! Biddy 
 must surely have been related to the farmer who 
 cracked the nuts for the parson ! 
 
 On the 29th August we went to a little village 
 near Nottingham called Thurgarten (or Thors- 
 garden), Dorothy, her uncle Adlington, and 
 myself. We had a bountiful tea at a cottage 
 kept by a good old body, Mrs. Brown by name. 
 The village is a perfect picture of the best side 
 of rural England, quiet comfort everywhere, and 
 no apparent poverty. A fine old church, not 
 large, but well designed and splendidly built, 
 but, as I entered the doorway, I hoped our stay 
 would be very short, for the odour of good folks 
 dead long ago was perfectly overpowering, the 
 vile custom of burying in vaults under the 
 church having been long practised. 
 
54 
 
 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 The Bishop of Southwell resides at the Priory 
 adjoining the church. A small stream runs 
 through the Bishop's park, and a few years ago 
 they tried to stock it with trout, but the herons 
 soon cleared them out. A neighbouring gentle- 
 man once had a gull that followed him about 
 everywhere, chattering when he spoke, and 
 making himself very companionable generally. 
 One day the gentleman, having caught a trout, 
 gave it to the gull ** all-alive O!" The bird 
 swallowed it with great gusto, and then, giving 
 his man a look, spread his wings and flew away 
 never to return. 
 
 September 5th. 
 This morning I received a letter from the 
 Ambergate station-master confirming my sus- 
 picion that I had given the porter half-sovereign, 
 and returning me 7s. 6d. as desired. I wonder 
 if your American porters would have done this ? 
 (I forget though ; from my experience, I think 
 American porters would expect ten shillings 
 where an English porter would be grateful for 
 two.) 
 
 September 6th. 
 Up betimes ; read and answered my letters 
 before eight o'clock. Very sorry to leave Not- 
 tingham. Took train to Ilfracombe, a nine 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 55 
 
 hours' journey, where I am to spend a few 
 days with the Lewins. How large do you 
 think the Howitt's garden is, as described in 
 my visit to the villa ? It is about looft. long 
 by 24ft. wide, and the **villa " is a tumble-down 
 shanty ! but the flowers and fruit are all quite 
 delightful. In the train I travelled with a 
 delightful old gentleman, who, spying my name 
 on my portmanteau, soon began to talk. 
 The old gentleman was one of the original 
 shareholders in the Great Eastern Steam- 
 ship, so we both discussed that wonderful 
 failure ; he lost all the money he put into it, but 
 to us it was the foundation of all the good 
 things that have come to us. 
 
 Last Tuesday we went for a short drive into 
 Sherwood Forest to see the Great or Major 
 Oak. You saw it, and I think went inside it ; 
 and I believe you have a photo of it. It is still 
 a noble old forest, and I only regretted we had 
 so little time to see it. Having taken tea at 
 Edwinstowe, we went into the churchyard, 
 where there are many curious epitaphs. Here 
 is one — 
 
 Attend ! 
 
 This awful Monitor to Man's security, 
 Richard Niel, 
 
 Who, after having brav'd 
 
 The boistrous billows of the Biscan shore, 
 
 The gaping terror of the rude Atlantic, 
 
56 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 And fulminating- wrath of haughty France 
 
 In fights victorious, 
 At 29, in Vital Plenitude and the Meridian 
 Of well-earned friendships, 
 By some distressful unforeseen event 
 Yielded his social Life 
 To the uncertain Element 
 In Thoresby Lake, 
 As did the Partner of his Fleeting breath, 
 
 John Birdsall^ 
 of youthful 28, but just immers'd 
 
 In joys Hymeneal, 
 anxious to meet his lov'd expecting Bride, 
 Was too arrested by the Liquid wave, 
 Alike deserving and alike belov'd, 
 Fell 2 lamented youths, 
 Together, in one unpropitious night — 
 
 The 29 Jany., 1800 ; 
 And this Earth their Mortal parts retain. 
 
 Have you anything like that in your country ? 
 
 In going to Sherwood Forest we passed 
 through Hucknall-Torkard, in the parish church 
 of which place Lord Byron's body lies, his heart 
 being at Missolonghi, in Greece ; and then 
 through Annesley, with its church on the hill. 
 Near here Mary Chaworth lived, over against 
 Newstead Abbey. My companion tells me he 
 was once pointing out the points of interest in 
 Byron-land to some fellow-travellers, when two 
 servant girls remarked to him that they knew 
 Byron well — *^ he lived in the corner house over 
 agen there." I presume it was a public-house, 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 57 
 
 the ** Lord Byron." In this neighbourhood is 
 Kirkby Hardwick, at which place Cardinal 
 Wolsey stayed a night on his way to Leicester 
 to die. 
 
 At Edwinstowe is an old public-house, ^*Ye 
 Jug and Glass," 1691, and near by are the 
 remains of King John's Palace, and the great 
 oak under which he gathered his barons when 
 news of Richard L landing came to him. 
 
 I don't suppose you have ever heard of Sam 
 Foote, the comic actor of nearly a century 
 since? He was a Cornishman, and very witty. 
 Going along a London back street, Foote saw a 
 barber's shop, the windows of which had oiled 
 paper instead of panes of glass, for economy, 
 and over the shop front was the inscription : — 
 
 Here lives Mr. Wright, 
 
 The best Barber in London — 
 
 Almost, not quite. 
 
 Foote was so pleased he determined to help the 
 poor barber, and, pushing his head through 
 one pane, said, *^ Is Mr. Wright in?" where- 
 upon Mr. Wright shoved his head through the 
 next pane, and said, ** No, sir ; he's just gone 
 out ! " No doubt he had taken Foote's 
 measure. I hope this London barber was wiser 
 than one of whom I heard at Nottingham the 
 other day. This man was very hard working, 
 
58 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 but found it a hard struggle, as he could not 
 stock his shop with the usual goods, so a 
 benevolent customer lent him ;^5o to enable 
 him to do it. The business increased, and the 
 barber paid back the loan, a little at a time, 
 until all was repaid. The lender was pleased 
 with his conduct, and kindly gave him^ back 
 the £^o as a present. From that moment 
 the barber's ruin commenced ; finding money 
 came so easily, he took to drinking, and was 
 soon out of business. Foolish barber. 
 
 You have heard me speak of William White, 
 the Birmingham Alderman. I was once travel- 
 ling in Italy with him when, on crossing the 
 Grand Place at Genoa, we met a clergyman of 
 the Church of England with whom we were 
 slightly acquainted — one Canon Bangham. The 
 Canon had been in Rome, and was returning. 
 My brother asked him how his health had been 
 since they parted. ** Not very good," said the 
 Canon, **I have had a sharp touch of the Roman 
 fever." Upon which my dry old Quaker friend 
 observed, ** Not a very uncommon thing I think 
 when English clergymen go to Rome." The 
 Canon smiled and ** went off." 
 
 Someone has been writing to me about the 
 Fabians. The civilised world is divided into 
 two classes, the '^ Haves " and the '* Have-nots." 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 59 
 
 The former have become possessed of property 
 by their own industry, frugality, temperance and 
 thrift ; the latter have no property, and few of 
 them believe in hard work, and still less believe 
 in frugality and thrift, and even if they did they 
 would have no time to practise those virtues, as 
 it is ^11 required to devise methods whereby they 
 may become possessed of the property of the 
 ** Haves." When at last they have succeeded, 
 and the '* Have-nots " have become ** Haves,'* 
 the process is reversed, and the operation begins 
 over again, the whilom *^ Haves "hoping to recover 
 what they have lost, but very soon discover that 
 it is past recovery, for their despoilers have 
 spent it in slothful ease. In England the 
 ** Have-nots" are sometimes called ** Fabians," 
 and there are not wanting amiable *^ Haves" 
 who sympathise with the other class until they 
 are asked to reduce their theories to practice 
 by handing over their property to those who have 
 none. The true author of the Fabian pro- 
 gramme was the Irishman who propounded the 
 doctrine that property was robbery, that it 
 should all be divided in equal proportions 
 amongst the people. '* But it will soon be un- 
 equal," someone remarked, ^* and what will you 
 do then?" '* Why, divide again," said this 
 logical Fabian. 
 
 Do you remember being confined to your 
 room by illness, and learning that I, too, was 
 
6o ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 ill in bed ? You sent me a poetical effusion in 
 which you opined that I must be ill indeed if I 
 was not engaged in my favourite occupation of 
 letter writing. And have you forgotten my first 
 (and final) attempt at ** poetry ? '' 
 
 In poetic flights I cannot rise, 
 Not e'en in praise of Anrxic's eyes, 
 
 I left my bed some hours ag-o, 
 While you to yours are still a debtor ; 
 And here am I, alone, below — 
 Inditing- matter for a letter ! 
 
 After that, why does the Prime Minister hesitate 
 about appointing a Poet Laureate ? 
 
 My father kept a general shop or store, and 
 bemg a good-natured man, was much resorted 
 to by a class of customers who preferred buying 
 on credit to paying cash. Such sales were 
 entered in a day book, and when paid were 
 marked off by a vertical stroke of the pen. I 
 once caused some confusion by marking off 
 quite a number of these entries — an entirely 
 new way of paying old debts — but, fortunately, 
 the vigour of my juvenile strokes caused them 
 to be recognised as the work of a tyro, and I 
 don't think many debtors were relieved by my 
 attempts at book-keeping. When quite a child 
 my afternoons were often employed in looking 
 up long-winded customers — occasionally getting 
 a trifle ** on account," but more often coming 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 6i 
 
 empty away. One woman objected to pay, 
 saying, ** 'Ow do I knaw you're Jos. Tangye's 
 boy ? Anybody may come demanding people's 
 money like that." This worthy gave me a 
 shilling, and, playing with it while crossing a 
 field, I lost it in the grass ; but, knowing it was 
 useless returning without the" money, I hunted 
 about for some hours until I found the coin. 
 
 Another debtor was a blind man, who used 
 to attend at the office of the lady of the manor 
 to receive his monthly allowance. By arrange- 
 ment with the steward I used to attend at the 
 same time to receive a portion of the pension. 
 I never think of that blind man now without its 
 calling to mind that dreadful blind pirate in 
 Treasure Island. He had a wicked face, rendered 
 all the more sinister by its being deeply-pitted 
 with the smallpox. Long before I saw him I knew 
 he was coming by the tap, tap of his iron-shod 
 stick on the pavement, as he was led up to the 
 steward's office. On entering the waiting room 
 he invariably turned to his guide and asked, 
 ** Ezza 'ere ? " The guide had already seen me 
 and answered ** Iss," upon which the blind man 
 would growl out ** Darn 'im." 
 
 Sometimes my brother and I took the 
 customers' purchases to their houses. On one 
 occasion we took half a sack of flour across a 
 
62 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 donkey's back. Our way lay up a steep hill-side 
 along a very narrow lane, between hig-h hedges, 
 the donkey and the sack taking the whole 
 width. Behind us came a miner returning from 
 his work, he was a portentously solemn-looking 
 man, and we tried our best to make him laugh, 
 but without success, until a happy idea occurred 
 to my brother. We at once put it into execu- 
 tion. Taking up two stones, we stopped the 
 donkey and placed them under his heels. * * What 
 are 'ee doin' that for ? " said the man with the 
 solemn face. ** Trigging him up," said we. 
 **Trig a dunkey up, do 'ee ? well, well, sure 
 enough ! who ever 'eerd of triggin' a dunkey up 
 before ? Trig a dunkey up ! " and then bursting 
 into a loud laugh, he asked whose boys we 
 were. 
 
 Cornwall used to be noted for its ** charac- 
 ters," but they are fast dying out. The public 
 ** criers" were not the least curious of them. 
 At Camborne there was Captain Starr, a man 
 unable to read, but possessed of a strident voice 
 and a good memory. Cap'n Starr, bell in hand, 
 and carrying a paper upside down, announcing 
 a sale by public auction, would pretend to read 
 out its contents, invariably winding up by 
 adding to the catalogue of furniture, &c., **And 
 a gate (great) pile o' dung. God save the 
 Queen." 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 63 
 
 The Redruth crier was about as curious a 
 character, his name was **Rozzy-Mundy-Viant," 
 or, at any rate, that is the only name we ever 
 knew him by. He used to wear a long* grey 
 coat with a cape, and on the back of the coat 
 under the cape was the name of the parish, with 
 Rozzy's number, in very plain letters and 
 figures. 
 
 In a neighbouring village was a shopkeeper 
 who sold a certain cure for coughs, but he had 
 a terrible 'churchyard' cough himself. On being 
 asked by his intending customers why he 
 did not cure himself, he used to say, '* In 
 me you behold a terrible example of the danger 
 of delay ; I left it too long before I took the 
 medicine. See tha.t you don't." 
 
 This man had two daughters, one of whom 
 was once on a visit to friends in London, and 
 attracted the attention of a young man wl^o did 
 not forget her when she returned to Cornwall. 
 One day the youth made his appearance at her 
 father's house, and the young lady, seeing him at 
 the door, and divining his object, requested her 
 sister to entertain him while she went to her 
 room to adjust her ribbons. Unfortunately for 
 her, she and her sister were as like as two peas, 
 and the young man, not doubting that his fair 
 entertainer was his London acquaintance, there 
 
64 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 and then made her an offer, and — oh ! cruel 
 sister ! — was accepted ; and when her sister 
 tearfully remonstrated with her, she airily 
 replied, ** You should'nt have gone to beautify 
 yourself, /didn't ; and yet he chose me." 
 
 September qth. At Ilfracombe, 
 Such a hot day ! This is a charming* place, but it 
 has no beach. On my way to Cornwall I had to 
 stop two hours at Devonport for the Cornish train, 
 and am writing this while riding in the ** Observa- 
 tion Car" between Plymouth and Newquay, 
 just as we did between Chicago and New York, 
 and very jolly it is. The scenery is really very 
 beautiful ; we passed over lofty wooden viaducts 
 which are almost as unsafe as some of the 
 American trestle bridges, but they are being 
 rapidly replaced by substantial stone structures. 
 ¥ 
 We were talking of sun dials at Miss Lewin's, 
 and the quaint mottoes often chosen for them. 
 When I set up our dial at Gilbertstone, the 
 engraver suggested several mottoes, but I 
 furnished my own. Ever since I have travelled 
 in Southern lands I have always spoken of old 
 Sol as the *^ Blessed Sun," and that is the motto 
 engraved on my dial. 
 
 Someone was complaining of her favourite 
 corn having been trodden on, which made me 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 65 
 
 think of Egypt, where I once had my foot 
 stepped upon, causing me to exclaim : — ^* I per- 
 ceive there is still corn in Egypt ! " 
 
 Do you remember tlie story the Prophet 
 Samuel told us about that extravagant farmer's 
 son ? 
 
 The farmer was a very economical man, and 
 knew how to make a piece of cheese go as far 
 as anyone could, but although economical (I was 
 going to say ** cheese-paring," but, as you will 
 see, that would not be accurate) he always 
 bought a piece of the very best, and kept it in a 
 bottle which was well corked and sealed over 
 the cork to prevent surreptitious visits. At 
 dinner time the bottle was produced, and farmer 
 and son would rub the outside of it with a crust 
 of bread, eating the crust. The bottle was then 
 replaced in a cupboard of which the farmer 
 kept the key. One day, the son not having 
 come out, the farmer went in to ascertain what 
 delayed him, and, to his amazement, saw his 
 son busily engaged in rubbing the cupboard 
 door with a crust. ^*Oh, you extravagant 
 rascal!" he cried, ^*you must have cheese 
 twice^ must you?" and drove him out of the 
 house. 
 
 <$> 
 
 September iith. 
 At GlendorgaL The weather is splendid — a 
 westerly breeze blowing, and sending in some 
 
 E 
 
66 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 fine rollers ; the waves breaking with great 
 fury just below the cabin. The blow-hole is in 
 active operation, and roars like that great 
 Leviathan (I have never heard it). Yesterday a 
 strange yacht came into the bay and tried to 
 make the harbour, but getting alongside a great 
 breaker was nearly swamped, but managed to 
 get clear. To-day she is safe in port. 
 
 ¥ 
 
 A reminiscence of Holland. ^* Guilty or not 
 guilty," said the Dutch judge. ^^ Not guilty," 
 said the prisoner. *^ Den vat you vant heer ? 
 Go about your pishness ; " and he went. 
 
 Yesterday Gilbert saved the life of a small 
 dog below the cabin. Its owner (a lady) was 
 risking her own life in trying to save her dog's. 
 
 September 2ist, Saturday. 
 We have had a very hot September, but not so 
 hot as you have had it, I expect. 
 
 Have the students come back to the Uni- 
 versity yet ? If so, please tell them what the 
 late Professor Jowett, of Oxford, once told the 
 undergraduates of that famous University, 
 **We are none of us infallible, not even the 
 undergraduates of this University." 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 67 
 
 Did I ever tell you that when my nephev/ 
 Harry was six years old he spent some months 
 with his father at Mentone, in the South of 
 France. In the same hotel was staying a 
 Russian countess with her little daughter, of 
 Harry's age ; naturally enough the two children 
 became quite friendly. The young Russian could 
 speak English well, also German, French and 
 Italian, and they got on famously together. But 
 the time arrived for Harry to leave his father 
 and to return to school in England, and when he 
 had gone, the young six-year-old coimtess was 
 in great distress, and, when sympathised with^ 
 remarked, ^* Life is so sad ! " and she so young. 
 
 The first time I attended a municipal meeting 
 in Birmingham, I happened to arrive early, 
 finding only two persons present, both unknown 
 to me. They were talking about suitable candi- 
 dates. ^* Someone was speaking of a man named 
 Tangye (y soft) as being a suitable man, do 
 you know anything of him ? '* ** No, but I am 
 told he would be just the man ; " upon which I 
 thought it was time for me to intervene, so I got 
 up and addressed the meeting of two persons, 
 and this was my speech : 
 
 ** Gentlemen, I know the man very well, and 
 am sure he would not do at all — / am the man,, 
 gentlemen " ; and sat down. 
 
-68 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 September 22ND, Sunday. 
 
 Did you ever hear this story of Booth, the 
 American actor ? He was to have played in 
 Hamlet in some Western city. The appointed 
 day arrived, but the ** properties " for the 
 stage, including the costumes for the actors, 
 had not ! The manager hoped against 
 hope up to the last moment ; but still they came 
 not, and the appointed hour having come and 
 the theatre being full, Booth requested the 
 manager to explain to the people and to tell 
 them they could have their money back, or^ if 
 they liked, he and his fellow-actors would 
 perform their parts in their ordinary travelling 
 dress ! Not a man stirred, and the play pro- 
 ceeded — Booth wearing his cane in place of 
 Hamlet's sword, the audience evidently having 
 quite forgotten the absence of the *' properties." 
 In telling the story to a friend (a friend of 
 Sam Timmins), Booth said that in the effort to 
 prevent himself from smiling or even laughing 
 outright, his face assumed a most portentous 
 and preternatural aspect of solemnity, quite 
 suited to the theme, and he felt he had never 
 acted the part more effectively. During the 
 fourth act the ** properties " arrived, and the 
 fifth was played in the regular costume. 
 
 Here is a dog story that Henry Martyn 
 vouches for the truth of. A gentleman having 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 69. 
 
 started for a walk with his dog, found he had 
 left his umbrella behind ; he sent doggie back 
 for it, and he brought it, having selected it from 
 the stand where there were two. 
 
 Madison, a University town. Ruskin says^ 
 ** A University is a place where all men may 
 learn something of everything, and some men 
 may learn everything of something." (Others^, 
 again, learn nothing of anything useful.) 
 
 Old proverb — *^ Thou art master of thy 
 unspoken word, but thy spoken word is master 
 of thee." 
 
 Gibbon, the historian. ** Economy is the 
 source of liberality." 
 
 September 23RD. 
 Here is a true story of our collie dog, *^ Roy."^ 
 This morning I was sitting on the quarter deck, 
 on top of the cabin, reading, when Mr. Roy 
 came rushing up to me with a piece of paper in 
 his mouth and apparently offering it to me ; but, 
 thinking he was only playing with an odd scrap 
 of paper, I took no notice of it, upon which he 
 laid it at my feet. Curiosity impelled me to take 
 it up, as it was folded like a letter, and I found 
 it was addressed to myself, and on opening it 
 
70 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 read as follows : * ' Good morning ! have you 
 used Pears* Soap? — R. T. G. Tangye." 
 
 I replied by adding, ** Yes, and have used none 
 since, how about the jewels P--R.T." 
 
 I then placed the letter in Roy's mouth, and 
 bade him be off to the Temple, where I saw 
 Gilbert was, and off he went, being quickly 
 followed by *'Ben," who kept snapping at his 
 heels, causing Roy to drop the letter several 
 times ; but he took it up again and raced up 
 the long-winding path with all his might, 
 safely delivering the letter into the hand of his 
 master ! Now was not that fine ? 
 
 Talking about dogs, please look at the 
 •enclosed picture of a big dog and his master 
 being called in question by French customs 
 officers, and try to guess who the master is. 
 
 Yesterday (Sunday) morning, as I got up, the 
 sun was shining gloriously, the tide full in, and 
 a flock of white gulls perched on the ** Butter 
 Rocks," just opposite the cabin, near the blow- 
 hole, and a beautiful sight it was. 
 
 Roy and Bruce are on as bad terms as ever. 
 To-day we Vi^ere wondering where the latter was, 
 when, on looking up to the bedroom windows, 
 he was observed to be viewing us from the little 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 71 
 
 balcony outside the window. We asked for a 
 speech, but he did not even say ** Bow-wow.'' 
 
 The ** Great Wheel " at Kensington — I dare 
 say you have seen that it stuck in mid-air a few 
 weeks since ? Hundreds of people were kept 
 suspended for hours on a Saturday night, and 
 many of them threw down telegrams with money 
 enclosed, asking the bystanders to despatch 
 them. 
 
 A definition of gossip : — Putting two and two 
 together and making them five. 
 
 Some years ago, one of our oldest workmen 
 decided to leave us and take to the milk trade ; 
 he was very popular with his fellow-workmen, and 
 soon began to prosper. Unfortunately, William's 
 wife died soon after he began business, and, 
 finding he was losing ground from the loss of 
 his helpful partner, he decided to take another 
 wife, his choice alighting upon a young woman 
 many years his junior. I used frequently to 
 meet the couple going their rounds in the milk 
 cart, and one morning found them in a difficulty 
 with their steed, a rather sorry-looking beast ; 
 the creature was backing and rearing upon its 
 hind legs, so I remarked, ** Young blood, 
 William, young blood." ** Yes," said William, 
 '^ young and foolish," but the old man forgot 
 
72 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 that his young wife was by his side until she 
 said, with a little temper, *Mt's better to be 
 young and foolish than old and silly ! " and I 
 think she was right. 
 
 When in Rotterdam, some years ago, a small 
 schoolboy came up to me with his satchel on his 
 back, and, taking me for a Dutchman, asked, 
 *'Hoo laat ist ? " (I write phonetically, not 
 knowing Dutch.) I at once showed the child 
 my watch, and, having thanked me, he trotted 
 off. A friend who was with me remarked he 
 was not aware that I understood Dutch ? 
 ** Well," I said, **you see I did." Now in my 
 native county of Cornwall, it so happens that 
 a schoolboy, making the same enquiry towards 
 evening, would use almost exactly the same 
 words, ^*How late is it?" He would never 
 think of asking *^ the time," and this is how I 
 understood the Dutch boy. 
 
 f^ 
 October 22Nd. 
 Is not this a curious combination of names that 
 appeared in a notice of a wedding the other 
 day : — 
 
 Winder — Payne. At St. Saviour's Church, on 
 the i6th, &c. What bad spellers some people 
 are ! 
 
 Have you read Trilby yet ? I am delighted 
 with it, and do not intend spoiling the impres- 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 73 
 
 sion its reading has left on my mind by seeing- 
 the play that is now being performed, based 
 upon the story. I remember seeing Uncle Tom's 
 Cabin played some years after having read 
 Mrs. Stowe's delightful book, and was very 
 sorry I did, for the whole story was vulgarised 
 by the performance. 
 
 The weather this summer and autumn has 
 been just perfect, most of the trees are still as 
 green as they were in July, only the beeches, 
 limes and thorns are beginning to change 
 colour, here, at Kingston. The roses are still 
 blooming, and the nasturtiums, Michaelmas 
 daisies and dahlias are in full flower. The 
 stately sunflower has grown to a great height 
 this season, you remember the new flower-bed 
 by Lord Pollington's garden? The sunflowers 
 there are 12 feet high, and one of the flowers 
 measures 40 inches in circumference ; ** Love- 
 lies bleeding," too, is still in full flower, and 
 very large and gorgeous. In Cornwall, at Glen- 
 dorgal, by the front door, the euonymus is still 
 beautifully flowering, and the hydrangea only 
 just gone off". Last week strawberries, grown 
 in the open, were on sale in Truro market (I 
 wish I had been there !) although we are in the 
 same latitude as the very northernmost part of 
 Newfoundland and Vancouver's Island. Bad 
 luck to the Nicaragua Canal if, as some 
 people say, it will have the eff"ect of diverting 
 
74 ENGLISH NOTES . 
 
 the Gulf Stream, and by so doing, sending this 
 delightful little island back into the glacial 
 period, when there will be no more strawberries ! 
 
 You remember. Lord Bacon's saying about 
 the same delicious fruit ? 
 '¥ 
 
 Talking about ** Trilby," the London shoe- 
 blacks now cry '^ Shine your Trilbies, Sir? " 
 
 I think I have written about our first work- 
 man before ? His name was John Wright, I 
 used to say to him, *'Why, John, you are almost 
 John Bright." ^*Yes, Sir," said John, *Mf my 
 name began with a B instead of a W nobody 
 would know the difference between us." 
 
 John used to say to me, *'Ah, Mr. Richard, 
 Sir, you're a funny man, Sir, to what I am. 
 Sir." 
 
 Yesterday I went with Mr. Spooner to New 
 Cross, taking tea with Mr. Henwood Thomas. 
 On the way we called at the hospital to see poor 
 little Trilby (Gyp IIL) ; she knew my voice as 
 soon as the door was opened and began to yelp 
 and cry for me, and when I got into the room 
 the demonstration was overwhelming ! She 
 soon had her nose in my coat pocket, which, 
 unlike Mother Hubbard's cupboard, was not 
 bare, for she found a bone and greatly 
 enjoyed it. Trilby is much better and is coming 
 home next week. 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 75 
 
 I think I have told you of some of our neigh- 
 bours when we were boys ? One was Willie 
 Rule, whose fields adjoined our garden. Our 
 people used to put their linen out to dry on 
 Willie's hedges — a proceeding to which he 
 objected. One day Willie was observed to call 
 one of his cows to him, draw out his 
 shirt-front and endeavour to induce the beast to 
 eat it, then point towards the linen on the 
 hedges ; but the cow did not take the hint. 
 Willie had a sister as sapient as himself. Her 
 brother once sent her into the garden to weed 
 the leek bed. In due time she returned. '^ Well, 
 Jenny, have you weeded the ' lick ' bed ? " **Oh, 
 yes ! I've weeded 'un." And so she had, but she 
 had weeded leeks and all ! 
 
 We have a new horse which has not yet been 
 fully trained, and does not understand that when 
 waiting at the door his duty is to stand quite still. 
 This morning he was very restive, so I went to 
 him and quoted Milton, telling him that *^ they 
 also serve, who only stand and wait," but it had 
 no effect. 
 
 I think I will place on record the account of 
 little Gyp III., or *' Trilby," as we now call her. 
 My booklet, ^' Little Gyp," which you know has 
 been much approved, and which the Queen and 
 Princess of Wales have accepted copies oi and 
 
76 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 politely acknowledged, found its way to America, 
 and was reproduced in a monthly magazine, 
 called The Dog Fancier. Gyp's portrait, too, 
 was given. Soon afterwards I received a letter 
 from Mr. C. K. Farmer, a gentleman living in 
 Indianapolis, in which he told me he had been 
 much touched with the story of my little pet, 
 and sympathised with me on my loss. He also 
 said that he had a little dog which seemed almost 
 the counterpart of my lost ^' Gyp," and that he 
 w^ould be pleased to send it to me if I would 
 care to have it. Needless is it to say that I 
 gladly accepted Mr. Farmer's kind offer, and in 
 due time the dear little creature safely arrived, 
 although in a very faint condition, having been 
 eighteen days on the journey. You know what 
 a pet Trilby is with everyone, and how fond we 
 are of each other. Mr. Farmer told me how he 
 first obtained our little pet. He and his little 
 daughter were returning from a neighbour's 
 house one winter's night when he heard a pit, pat, 
 pit, pat, on the sloppy pavement, and looking 
 round saw a little dog following them. It came 
 on until Mr. Farmer stopped at his door, and as on 
 opening it the poor little dog looked wistfully in, 
 It was of course invited to enter. On being 
 examined it was found to be covered with vile 
 tallow. Soon however, the little waif was washed 
 and dried, and, wrapped in a flannel, placed 
 before the fire, where it spent the night, A few 
 days after, a lady, arriving from a distant part of 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 77 
 
 the city, told Mr. Farmer she had lost her pet 
 dog and was oifered little Gyp and took it away 
 with her. In the middle of the night, however, 
 the dog came back again and gave no peace 
 until she was admitted. 
 
 You know I have the skull of Richard Bran- 
 don, who is generally credited with having 
 relieved Charles I. of all his troubles by re- 
 moving his head from his shoulders. Brandon 
 has a good set of teeth and a strong square jaw. 
 Evidently he was a man of great determination. 
 When he was buried in the churchyard of St. 
 Mary's, Whitechapel, on the 24th of June, 1649, 
 ** a great multitude of people stood waiting to 
 see his corpse carried to the churchyard, some 
 crying out * Hang him, the rogue ! Bury him in 
 the dunghill ! ' " But, seeing he had long been 
 the common hangman, it is quite as likely that 
 the rabble was composed of friends of criminals 
 who had been despatched by Brandon in the 
 usual course of his business, as that the outcry 
 was the result of any sympathy for Charles I. 
 
 Here is a true story about sausages. A 
 wealthy pork-butcher, dining at a gentleman's 
 house, was asked by the host if he would have 
 a sausage. ^*No, thankee, I never eats 'em ; I 
 don't know what's in 'em." ** Oh ! they are 
 all right, ^' replied the host, ** they are from your 
 
78 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 own shop." **Then I'm sure I won't eat 'em, 
 for I know whafs in 'em!'''' 
 
 Some years ago I was staying at the very 
 quaint old seaport of Boscastle, in North Corn- 
 wall, and one evening I heard the town crier 
 making an announcement outside the hotel, and 
 this is what he said : — 
 
 ** O yes ! O yes ! This ez to give notess 
 that there will be a TempVance Mittin' in the 
 National Schoolroom this abenin' at ha'af-past 
 seben a'clock, the Vicar in the cheer. The 
 Mittin' will be addressed by Maister Richard 
 Tangye, of Birmingham. God sa-ave the 
 Queen ! " 
 
 I was very much astonished, this being the 
 first intimation I had had of the proposed 
 meeting, and as it was then about six o'clock, 
 there was no time to lose in preparation if I 
 decided to attend. 
 
 Punctually at the appointed hour I arrived at 
 the schoolroom and found a large audience 
 awaiting me. The Vicar took the chair, and in 
 the course of his remarks informed me that the 
 majority of the inhabitants of the two parishes 
 of Boscastle and Forrabury were before me. 
 
 I commenced my observations by telling the 
 good people that I was afraid they would think 
 me a bore in what I had to say to them ; and 
 that the Vicar would think I was trenching upon 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULA TION. 79 
 
 his prerogative, for I was going to give them a 
 sermon ! and I told them of the Oxford professor 
 who preached a sermon on Malt, which I have 
 already given in these notes. When I had got 
 half way through my address, the Vicar inter- 
 rupted me by asking leave to make an announce- 
 ment before I proceeded further. He said : — 
 *' My friends, I will take this opportunity to 
 remind you that there will be a collection at the 
 close of the meeting." But before I was allowed 
 to proceed, Farmer Chubb got up and said : — 
 **We would like to knaw. Parson, where this 
 money be a-goin' to that is collected ? 'Ere in 
 Boscastle we never gives our coppers before we 
 knaw wheer they be a-goin' ; be the gentleman 
 goin' to 'ave any of it ? " The parson reassured 
 the farmer on the point, remarking that 
 ** not only will the gentleman have nothing, but 
 I have no doubt it will be found that he will 
 have contributed more than all the rest of the 
 meeting put together." This was very satis- 
 factory to Farmer Chubb, who observed that 
 Boscastle men didn't like to see their money 
 going out of the place. At the close of the 
 meeting, as I was going out of the room, some- 
 one pulled my coat and asked leave to speak to 
 me for a few minutes. I told him I could hardly 
 refuse to hear him for ^*a few minutes" when he 
 had been listening to me for half-an-hour, so 
 what did he want? He said he was in a 
 situation in the town, and had got as far as he 
 
8o ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 could, but wanted to do something better, and 
 was desirous of obtaining a post in our business 
 at Birmingham. I told him to write and tell me 
 all about it, which he did, but there was no 
 situation vacant. Some months afterwards, 
 when at my office, word was brought to me that 
 this young man would like to speak with me, 
 and I found that he had left Boscastle for 
 Birmingham with the firm determination of 
 getting into our place ; that in the meantime he 
 was clerk in some drapery store, with very long 
 hours and little pay, and was more anxious than 
 ever to come to us. On enquiry, I found we 
 could employ him, and for years he was a faith- 
 ful and capable servant, only leaving us at last 
 to take over his old master's business at Bos- 
 castle on his retirement. 
 
 Here are a few Quaker stories, both new and 
 old. At St. Austell, in Cornwall, the Quakers' 
 Annual Meeting falls in the hay season, and has 
 been held at that time, uninterruptedly, for more 
 than two centuries. The hay season is pro- 
 verbially wet, and so for generations past the 
 farmers have been warned in rhyme : — 
 
 '^ Now varmer, now varmer, 
 Tak care ov your hye, 
 For 'tes the Quakker's great mittin to-dye." 
 
 And once at the same place, when che monthly 
 advices to the members were being read, (as 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 8i 
 
 referred to in a previous note), it happened that 
 the particular one referring to vain sports was 
 read, whereupon a newly-joined member enquired 
 what *'vain sports" were. **For example, "he 
 asked, **was kissing mydens (maidens) in the 
 hye (hay) a vain sport ? " He did not think it was. 
 
 ¥ 
 Speaking of hay, there is an old superstition 
 in Cornwall against leaving a hay-rake on the 
 ground with its teeth upwards, as it is supposed 
 to draw the rain. Many a time have I been 
 rebuked by my grandfather for this offence. 
 
 Another couplet about the Quakers used to be 
 very common in my young days, but is now 
 almost forgotten. It was, however, a real 
 terror to my brother and myself, after our 
 parents joined the Friends, for as we passed a 
 certain house on our way to school, where lived 
 a shock-headed girl named Jane Kempthorn, 
 she used to come out, pretending to chase us^ 
 and crying : — 
 
 " Lord 'ave marcy 'pon us, 
 Keep the Quakkers from us." 
 
 With some of our school-fellows, however^ 
 the fact of our being Quakers caused us to be 
 looked upon with more respect. I remember 
 one of them telling me his father thought of 
 turning Quaker, because Quakers had not got ta 
 work f 
 
 F 
 
«2 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 I remember my father telling a story of a 
 •Quaker and the Vicar of his parish — I am not 
 sure if he was the Quaker, but think he was. 
 While walking along the road the former was 
 overtaken by the Vicar on horseback, who, 
 observing that the Friend did not remove his 
 hat, remarked : — **Q was a Quaker, who bowed 
 not down." *^Thou art mistaken," replied the 
 Friend, ^^l do bow down, but not to my fellow- 
 men." One for the parson. 
 
 Quakers are notoriously bad witnesses for 
 lawyers on the other side. The late Josiah 
 Hunt, of Bristol — a typical Quaker of half a 
 century since — was once called as a witness in 
 a case tried before the Recorder. The oppos- 
 ing Counsel was an Irishman, who, although he 
 possessed a full-flavoured brogue, was very 
 anxious to be thought an Englishman. Failing 
 to obtain much information from the cautious 
 replies of Mr. Hunt, the lawyer became rather 
 angry, and thus addressed the witness : — ** Now, 
 Mr. Hunt, be good enough to attend to me, and 
 remember, Sir, you are on your oath." ** Excuse 
 me," said Mr. Hunt, **but I am not." '* Your 
 affirmation, then, Sir ! I believe, Mr. Hunt, 
 you are a Quaker ? " The witness, looking 
 straight at the lawyer, replied : — ** And I believe 
 jthou art an Irishman ! " Everyone in court, 
 from the Judge to the messenger, knowing the 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 83 
 
 lawyer's weakness, was greatly amused at the 
 Quaker's home-thrust ; and it is hardly neces- 
 sary to say the latter was required to answer no 
 more questions. 
 
 This story naturally reminds me of that very 
 ancient Quaker, *' Chestnut." An old dry-as- 
 dust Friend was giving evidence in a case, 
 but was so cautious and guarded in his speech 
 that the lawyer opposed to him could **get no 
 corn " from him. Noticing, however, that 
 Obadiah was very fond of using the words 
 **also" and ** likewise," the man of law 
 thought he saw an opening, and then ensued 
 this dialogue : — ** You seem very partial to the 
 words * also ' and * likewise,' now can you tell 
 the court the difference between those words ? " 
 **Well, I can do that," said the Quaker, and 
 then pointing to his own lawyer, said : — 
 '* My friend there is a lawyer, and thou also art 
 a lawyer, but thou art not likewise /^^ 
 
 And that reminds me of a Devonshire yokel 
 who * Mike wise'* plagued a *Mimb of the law" 
 who was examining him ; and, first, I 
 must premise that in Devonshire the letters 
 **oo" are pronounced "ew" in the vernacular. 
 The lawyer could get nothing out of the 
 countryman, and, losing patience with him, 
 said: — **What have you been drinking this 
 
84 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 morning, eh?" **Wot *ave I been a-drinking? '* 
 '*Yes, what have you?'* *'Why, cawr-fee,^' 
 **Yes, but what did you have in your coffee, 
 eh ? " ** What did I 'ave in my cawr-fee ? Why 
 a spew7i, to be sure ! " 
 
 In the early days of Quakerism the sect was 
 abominably persecuted for all sorts of imaginary 
 offences, the clergy being the main offenders in 
 this respect. Amongst other offences was the 
 non-attendance at the Parish Church. Down in 
 Gloucestershire there lived a Friend, John 
 Roberts by name, who was often in trouble, but 
 being possessed of **a pretty wit" he often 
 turned the tables upon his clerical tormentors. 
 In those days the ** Bishop's Court" was 
 possessed of real power, and John was often 
 cited to appear before the Bishop, to whom he 
 was well known, and who greatly respected 
 him. On one occasion the charge was neglect 
 of Church attendance. **Now, Mr. Roberts," 
 said the Bishop, ^^what have you to say why 
 you do not go to Church?" '* But I ^(9 go," 
 said John, ** Sometimes I go to the Church, and 
 sometimes the Church comes to me. " *^How 
 is that?" said the Bishop. ''Well," said the 
 Quaker, '' I take the Church to be the people of 
 God, and not the building in which they meet." 
 And the Bishop dismissed him. 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 85 
 
 On another occasion, Friend Roberts having 
 been cited to appear in the same Court, walked 
 in with his hat on his head, as usual. After him 
 came another Dissenter (not a Quaker) and 
 seeing that John Roberts was permitted to wear 
 his hat, thought he might venture to do it too ; 
 but quickly found his mistake, for the Bishop, 
 sternly eyeing him, bade him take his hat oif. 
 ** But an' please your Lordship," said the man, 
 **Mr. Roberts wore his hat." ^*Yes," said the 
 Bishop, **but Mr. Roberts has a conscience in 
 the matter, sir; but as ior youy did you not, only 
 yesterday, on meeting me in the street, bow and 
 scrape most obsequiously ? Take your hat off, 
 sir ! " And he took it off. 
 
 On another occasion, being in the same Court, 
 the Bishop asked John Roberts how many 
 children he had? *' I have had seven," said 
 John, ^*of whom it has pleased the Lord to 
 remove three by death." *'And have they all 
 been * bishoped ' (/.^., confirmed)?" *^No," 
 said the witty Quaker, *'for most of them were 
 born in Oliver's time, when Bishops were out of 
 fashion." **At which," says the old chronicler, 
 *Hhe Court fell a-laughing." But the Vicar of 
 John's parish could not take things in that way, 
 and never could appreciate the humorous side 
 of the Quaker's character. On one occasion the 
 Bishop was making a visit to his diocese, and 
 
86 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 was followed by a large number of his clergy, 
 all on horseback. Coming to John Roberts* 
 house, that worthy Friend was observed work- 
 ing in his garden. The Bishop, calling him, 
 bid him ** Good morning," and then went on to 
 say he had been informed that John brewed 
 good ale. **Yes," said the Quaker, **I 
 do ; would'st thou like to try it? " The Bishop 
 assented, and Roberts brought a pitcher. After 
 drinking, his Lordship warmly commended the 
 liquor. Presently the parson of the parish 
 came up, and on John Roberts offering him 
 some to drink, the parson declined, saying, ** It 
 is full of hops and heresy." ** Indeed," said 
 John, '*but thy Bishop has just pronounced it 
 to be excellent." 
 
 It is only during recent years that Quaker 
 meeting houses have been made fairly com- 
 fortable. At the beginning of the present 
 century, few of them were artificially warmed or 
 were provided with wooden floors. Many years 
 ago a proposal was made to replace the stone 
 floor of a meeting-house in Somersetshire, near 
 my old school, and to provide a heating-stove ; 
 but an ancient Friend strongly objected, saying 
 he could ** remember in the time of the persecu- 
 tion when Friends were only too glad to meet 
 under a hrimhle bush if they could meet in peace 
 and security ; " but modern ideas prevailed. 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 87 
 
 Some of these old Friends were, unconsciously^ 
 very amusing-. In my school days, at that same 
 old Somersetshire meeting house, one of them 
 was once heard to say to another, ^* How art 
 thee to-day, Thomas?" ** Thank thee, not very 
 well ; I've a touch of the liver complaint. '*^ 
 ** Oh, never mind the liver, so long as the heart 
 is all right," being the rejoinder. 
 
 Many stories are told of William Penn, the 
 founder of Pennsylvania. On one occasion he 
 was travelling with Thomas Story, his Chief 
 Justice, when, being overtaken by a storm, they 
 took shelter in a tobacco warehouse. Presently 
 the owner — a pompous, fussy man — appeared, 
 and demanded what they meant by trespassing 
 on his premises. ** I would have you to know," 
 said he, ** that I am a Justice of the Peace ! " 
 ** Art thou?" said Thomas Story, **my friend 
 here makes such things as thou art, he is the 
 Governor of Pennsylvania," at which the would- 
 be great man subsided. In his later years Penn 
 fell on evil times, and became financially em- 
 barrassed, having to remain secluded in his 
 house for a considerable time ; he had a trusty 
 old man-servant who used to examine every 
 caller through the wired observation hole in the 
 door before opening it. A briskly-stepping 
 individual once came up to the house and, 
 having obtained speech of the janitor,. 
 
S8 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 enquired if Mr. Penn was at home. Being 
 asked his business, he replied, ^^ Oh, I have just 
 called to see Mr. Penn." **Well,'' said the 
 servant, "my master haith seen thee, and he 
 doth not like thee ; farewell." And the wicket 
 was closed and the process-server defeated. 
 Riding to meeting on horse-back, William Penn 
 once overtook a barefooted girl walking in 
 the hot sun, and on learning that she, too, 
 was going to meeting, the Governor invited 
 her to get up behind him, saddles in those days 
 being usually made to carry double. Of course 
 many fictitious stories have been told about the 
 Quakers, as, for example, a ship at sea being 
 -overhauled by a French privateer in time of 
 war, and the enemy climbing up the side of the 
 English merchantman, the Quaker proprietor 
 standing by pushed one of the would-be boarders 
 into the sea with the remark : — ** Friend, thee 
 keep thy ship, and I'll keep mine." 
 
 An amusing story is told of William Penn. 
 He was travelling in the country with another 
 Friend, when, coming to a small inn, they found 
 there was only one bed at liberty. Being much 
 fatigued Penn quickly retired ; but his companion, 
 who was a man in an humble position, prepared 
 to make himself comfortable in a chair before 
 the fire, not liking to deprive the Governor of 
 Pennsylvania of half his bed. William Penn 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 89 
 
 pressed his companion to get into bed, but 
 without success, the good man declaring that 
 he was a great snorer and would disturb his 
 friend. *^ Oh, that's it, is it?" said Penn. 
 ** Now just thee give me ten minutes' start, and 
 no snoring will wake me." And he had the 
 start ; but before the poor Friend could get into 
 bed William was in full cry, snoring like a 
 grampus ! ^ 
 
 Essex Calves. — Essex labourers are often 
 called ** Calves," but there was one of them, at 
 any rate, who was too sharp for that very wise 
 King, James I. The king was out hunting, and 
 coming to a gate, commanded a labourer who 
 was on the other side to open it. The labourer 
 pretended not to know who the peremptory 
 gentleman was, but taking him to be somebody 
 very important replied: — **Oh, no, I beant 
 good eno' to oppen t' ga-ate for the loikes o' 
 you. ril e'en run and fatch the Squoire, he'll 
 come quick," and, running off, added: — **A 
 wa-ant be long, a only lives ha-af a moile off." 
 In vain did his Scots Majesty shout to him, he 
 was gone ; and a noble lord in the suite had to 
 dismount and do porter's duty. A knowing 
 calf, that ! and doubtless the king felt like a 
 Dun-calf.— Why ? 
 
 I suppose there is so much spare land in 
 America that landowners are not tempted to steal 
 
90 ^ ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 a bit more from the public, or common, lands. 
 But in this little island, where acres are few, it 
 has long been a complaint against that class, that, 
 like Oliver Twist, they want some more ; only, 
 unlike Oliver, they take it without asking. Ben 
 Jonson — ** rare old Ben " — shows that the habit 
 was well known in his day, for he says : — 
 
 ** Great is the crime in man or woman 
 Who steals a goose from off the Common ; 
 But what shall be that man's excuse 
 Who steals the common from the goose?" 
 
 Contemporary with Ben Jonson's lines about 
 aristocratic common-land stealers, is the story 
 of a noble (very noble) lord who requested his 
 steward to get together a quantity of posts and 
 railings with which to enclose a '* common '^ 
 adjoining his broad acres — a sort of Naboth*s 
 vineyard belonging to the poor people of the 
 neighbourhood. Said the steward : — *^ Posts 
 we have in plenty, my lord, and the neighbours 
 will find the railing! " 
 
 Tens of thousands of acres of land upon 
 which poor people had right of pasture for cows, 
 pigs and geese, have during the past two 
 centuries become the private property of so- 
 called ** noble" lords who had abundance of 
 land before ; and not only have they not been 
 punished for the theft, but they have not been 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. - 91 
 
 compelled to make restitution. A few years ago 
 a neighbour of ours had his hen-roost robbed, 
 and on the door was chalked this precious 
 rhyme : — 
 
 "You are rich and we are poor, 
 When these are done we'll come for more. 
 Hatch away! Hatch away!" 
 
 The culprits were caught and sent to gaol. 
 They should have stolen land. No doubt it was 
 the same gang who stole the geese of a farmer 
 in the same neighbourhood. They took twelve 
 geese and a gander, but sent the latter back 
 with a parcel tied round his neck containing a 
 shilling, and a paper with the following doggerel 
 written upon it : — 
 
 "You live here and we live yonder; 
 Weve bought your g-eese for a penny a-piece, 
 And sent the money home by the gander." 
 
 Perhaps it was with the view of protecting 
 his chickens against thieves that a Hudson 
 River farmer adopted a peculiar method of 
 securing them, of which I have already told 
 you. ^ 
 
 Did you ever hear of the Rev. Robert Hall, 
 the famous Baptist minister ? He was a very 
 shrewd and witty man. On one occasion a 
 young minister preached before Mr. Hall, who 
 occupied a pew in the chapel. After the sermon 
 the novice tried his best to elicit Mr. HalFs 
 opinion of his discourse, but without effect. 
 
92 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 Presently, however, he put it plainly, and asked 
 the veteran preacher what he thought was the 
 finest passage in his sermon. Robert Hall 
 could contain himself no longer, and replied : — 
 ** The finest passage? why, the passage from 
 the pulpit to the vestry." It was Robert Hall 
 who, in his old age becoming insane, was con- 
 fined in a lunatic asylum. In those days it was 
 the custom for the public to be admitted to see 
 the poor patients, and a vulgar fellow, noticing 
 the great preacher, said: — **Why, Mr. Hall, 
 what brought you here?" **What will never 
 bring you," said poor Hall, ** brains." 
 
 Did I ever tell you how Mr. Haswell and I 
 were very nearly starved in the Australian bush? 
 We had been invited by a Melbourne citizen to 
 spend a few days in his bush-house, some seventy 
 miles from that city. We stopped a night on the 
 way at a little country inn, where we had an ex- 
 ceptionally good supper, but when, next evening, 
 we reached the bush-house, to our dismay our 
 host informed us that he had forgotten to bring a 
 supply of provisions. For two days we subsisted 
 upon sour bread, rancid buttermixed with flies, and 
 fermented raspberry jam, but consoled ourselves 
 with the thought that we should at any rate get 
 a good square meal on our return journey at 
 our old resting-place where we had fared so well 
 on our way up. But when we got there ** the 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 93 
 
 cupboard was bare," and there was nothing but 
 bush-house fare, the servant informing us that 
 a conference of thirty ministers had been there 
 all day, and had cleared everything out. 
 
 We decided to push on early in the morning, 
 our Melbourne friend assuring us we should get 
 an excellent meal at Yarra Flats, for he had 
 ordered it by telegraph, and he told us how he 
 had secured it. Happening to hear another 
 guest tell his companion he had wired the hotel 
 at Yarra Flats to have a couple of fowls and 
 other delicacies ready at one o'clock, our Mel- 
 bourne friend coolly went to the telegraph 
 office and sent another message, altering the 
 time to twelve o'clock. Arrived at the hotel, 
 we found an excellent dinner provided, which, 
 having disposed of, we proceeded on our 
 journey, the one o'clock dinner party driving up 
 as we were leaving. I felt it to be rather 
 shabby, but what won't the most scrupulous 
 man do when he is starving ? 
 
 Says the Rev. Phillips Brooks: — **Very few 
 acts are so absolutely mean that some light may 
 not be cast through them by a bright motive 
 burning within." Quite so ; doubtless the bright 
 motive that actuated our Melbourne friend when 
 he anticipated another man's dinner, was the 
 laudable desire to save his guests from dying of 
 starvation. ^ 
 
 A Cornish parish doctor was telling me the 
 
94 
 
 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 other day that he had recently visited a number 
 of old women in the parish, nearly all of whom 
 were ailing, or complaining of being ill and 
 unable to work. At length he came to an old 
 woman who was busily engaged with her wash- 
 tub. ''Well, Mrs. Chegwidden, I am glad to 
 find that you are not complaining like all the 
 rest." ''Well, doctor, I am glad to say my 
 general health is very good, thank the Lord for 
 it ; but I must say He do take it out of me in 
 corns, for my feet are covered with them ! " 
 These Cornish folk are queer people (some of 
 them). You remember that poor fellow who 
 complained he had "had nothing to eat since 
 yesterday, before to-day, and to-morrow would 
 make three days." He was the same man who 
 said he had " Nawthen to do and nobody to 
 help him." ^ 
 
 There was a man living in our neighbourhood 
 who was great in spinning tall yarns about his 
 prowess in difficult situations. When he had 
 made some unusually incredible statement, my 
 father would ask him, with a dry sort of humour, 
 " Who said so ? " and when the boaster replied 
 "I did," my father would say, "Oh! then it 
 must be true ! " Often since then I have stopped 
 a "tall talker "in mid-career by applying the 
 same test. 
 
 Max O'Rell was speaking in Torquay the 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 95 
 
 Other day, and in the course of his remarks 
 reminded his hearers that the Pilgrim Fathers 
 settled New England (the men of Devon did 
 not need reminding) ** and," said the PVench- 
 man, ** the first thing they did on landing was 
 to fall on their knees, and after that they fell on 
 the aborigi-nes." Not very brilliant, but then, 
 he was speaking to dull Englishmen ! 
 
 I have been giving a youth a little advice to- 
 day. Now, as a rule, young people don't like 
 , advice, they are rather apt to think that being 
 ** heirs to the ages '' they possess all the wisdom 
 of the ancients as well as the moderns. 
 Perhaps, too, they resent the natural air of 
 superiority with which their seniors impart their 
 observations. Anyway, they would rather have 
 something more substantial than mere advice. 
 The subject under discussion was the attitude 
 people should adopt when obviously mastered in 
 argument. Too often, being convinced against 
 their will — although really convinced — they 
 remain of the same opinion still. Now no really 
 generous disputant likes to see his opponent 
 unduly humiliated, and is not only satisfied with 
 the slightest acknowledgment of defeat, but 
 immediately conceives a high regard for his 
 antagonist for being sufficiently brave to own it ; 
 and especially is this the case in the dealings of 
 elderly people with their young friends. 
 
96 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 October 24TH. 
 A glorious morning, with brilliant sunshine 
 gilding the yellow and russet leaves on these Sur- 
 rey hill-sides. During the night there was a sharp 
 frost, and lo ! the Spanish chestnut trees which, 
 up to last evening had retained their clothing — 
 although in the sere and yellow leaf — are this 
 morning bare, the whole golden mass of leaves 
 having fallen on the emerald grass in a circle 
 around the trunks. The dahlias, too, hang 
 their frost-blackened heads, and although we 
 cannot say of them what Herrick so sweetly 
 says of another flower — 
 
 **Fair Daffodils, we weep to see 
 How soon ye haste away " 
 
 — for they have been in bloom unusually long 
 this year — ^yet it is saddening to see them die, 
 since it marks the departure of another year. 
 
 You remember the picture of the Alsatian 
 Girl, in the dining-room here ? This morning it 
 is specially beautiful in the sunlight, and the 
 appropriateness of the motto underneath it, 
 which I got from the New York Trihuney in 
 1866, is more than usually apparent : — 
 
 ** I see her yet, her cheeks aglow. 
 Her gaze upon the future bent. 
 As one who through the world will go 
 Beloved, bewitching, innocent." 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 97 
 
 Charles Kingsley says : — **A blessed thing it 
 is to have a friend — one human soul whom one 
 can trust always, who knows the best and the 
 worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our 
 
 faults." 
 
 td 
 
 A gentleman, tolerably well known to you, 
 was once sitting in a railway station reading a 
 book, his wife was standing a little distance 
 away from him. Presently she was aware of 
 two old gentlemen looking in the direction of 
 the reader, and heard one say to the other, ** A 
 remarkable head, that ! " and then she remarked 
 to herself, ** That head belongs to me." 
 
 Says Goethe: — *^A quiet scholar returning 
 home from a large party was asked, * How did 
 you like your company?' He answered, * If 
 they were books I should not read them.' " 
 
 October 24TH. 
 Written under an oak in Richmond Park, near 
 to Cerberus' Lodge, with the acorns falling on 
 all sides. Please thank Mr. Tyner for his treatise 
 on the currency question, and tell him that while 
 I am unable to follow him in all the intricacies 
 of the subject, I am entirely in agreement with 
 him in his denunciation of Bi-metallism, although 
 
 G 
 
98 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 probably for different reasons. John Bull is 
 sometimes thought to be a very dull individual, 
 but, as a matter of fact, he is not quite so dull 
 as some of his debtors would like him to be. 
 When, for example, John lends a South 
 American Republic, or a North American 
 Railway, a sum of money, he likes to receive 
 back at the appointed time just the same 
 amount that he lent. John always lends in 
 gold, but is not particular as to the commodity 
 with which he is paid back so long as he gets 
 the same value. For example, an English 
 sovereign is, approximately, worth its weight in 
 gold of equal quality, so John is quite willing to 
 take back his loan in bar gold ; but that is not 
 what foreign bi-metallists, being debtors to John, 
 want. Having received the gold sovereign, 
 they desire to be permitted to pay back in silver, 
 but they are not willing to give such a weight 
 in bar silver as a sovereign will buy, but only 
 coins of the same nominal value, which, when 
 taken by weight, are worth only about one-hair 
 of John Bull's sovereign. In other words, in this 
 latest *^ new way of paying old debts " John is 
 asked to accept one-half of what is due to him 
 in full discharge of his claim, and because he 
 cannot **see it," his foreign debtors think he is 
 dull. But I entirely disagree with Mr. Tyner in 
 his proposal to substitute a forced paper 
 currency for a metallic one. I should have 
 thought the experience of the first French 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION. 99 
 
 Republic, with its assignats, would have pre- 
 vented such a scheme being discussed again, 
 for even if a government could compel its own 
 citizens to recognise such a currency — which it 
 certainly could not — is it likely it could compel 
 foreign countries to accept it ? In times of war, 
 civil or foreign, governments would issue 
 enormous amounts of paper currency, and it 
 would very soon only be worth the paper it was 
 printed on, and only waste paper at that. 
 Heaven forbid that we should ever be afflicted 
 with the filthy, greasy, and evil-smelling green- 
 backs, or other such notes, almost exclusively in 
 use in the ** greatest country in creation.'' 
 
 Travelling on the Hudson River steamboat 
 with you in June I observed the bookstall keeper 
 received silver in payment for a book, and I 
 heard him say to a companion ^* victim to hard 
 money again," but he seemed to take his punish- 
 ment very pleasantly. When I was engaged as 
 a clerk in Birmingham in 1853, and in receipt of 
 a salary of less than five dollars a week, there was 
 an old gentleman who had become crazed on the 
 currency question — and a man must have a 
 strong mind if he is able to go deeply into it 
 without becoming more or less crazed. This old 
 gentleman would distribute hand-bills in the 
 street denouncing the currency laws in the 
 strongest terms. The first time I saw him he 
 
lOo ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 fairly startled me, for he put his hand on my 
 shoulder, and in excited tones said, '* Young man 
 what wages do you get?" I told him *Mess 
 than twenty shillings a week," then they are 
 robbing you of fourteen shillings a week ! " I 
 was getting alarmed, so cried ** Who's the 
 thief, who's the thief! I'd like to catch 
 him ! " and broke away from poor old Edmund 
 Taunton. 
 
 Having inflicted so much dry-as-dust matter 
 upon you, for which I apologise, I will end my 
 long letter by telling you how, travelling on a 
 foreign strand, I hit upon an universal language, 
 much simpler than the Volapuk system and 
 twice as natural. 
 
 Stopping one day to lunch at a wayside inn in 
 Germany, the waitress placed a dish before us 
 containing a bird of some kind, but from the 
 peculiarity of its dressing we could not tell what 
 it was. We thought, however, that it tasted 
 more like duck than anything else, and tried in 
 vain to remember the German word for it. 
 Calling the waitress and pointing to the bird, I 
 said, ^* 1st das eine quack, quack?" The girl 
 stood with her hands on her hips convulsed 
 with laughter, and then said, ** Ya, ya — quack, 
 quack, quack " — and going to every one in the 
 room repeated it again and again, and when we 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, loi 
 
 rose to go she bade me good-bye, saying 
 *' Addio, mein Herr von Quack — quack." 
 
 A curious name for a sexton. The grave- 
 digger at the Quaker's burying-ground, Exeter, 
 from 17 1 2 to 1743, was 
 
 ** Going Holme." 
 
 Rules to be observed by public speakers : — 
 
 Begin low, 
 Go on slow, 
 Rise higher. 
 Take fire. 
 
 When most impressed 
 Be self-possessed ; 
 At the end wax warm, 
 And sit down in a storm. 
 
 You remember how Wilfrid helped to save a 
 clergyman from drowning, near the Butter 
 Rocks, at Glendorgal ? On the following day 
 the gentleman called with \\\s financee^ to return 
 thanks. When they were announced, I was 
 engaged in reading an article on Cornish super- 
 stitions in the Daily News. Curiously enough, 
 the article ended with the couplet : — 
 
 " Save a man from drowning, 
 And he's your enemy for life." 
 
 * Can the Printer's D. have been thinking of the Duke of 
 M 's recent marriage with a New York heiress ? 
 
ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 The coincidence was very extraordinary, but, 
 needless to say, the clergyman declined to admit 
 its correctness in his case. 
 
 When old Snow Hill, London, was cleared 
 away to make room for the Holborn Viaduct, a 
 noted second-hand book shop disappeared. The 
 owner was quite a '* character," and when he 
 had any particularly interesting or noteworthy 
 book to dispose of, he was accustomed to 
 display startling announcements on each side of 
 his shop door. Occasionally he sold new books, 
 and when ** Hymns Ancient and Modern" 
 appeared, he exhibited two sketches, one on 
 each side of the doorway ; one representing a 
 Catholic priest, with the inscription underneath, 
 ** Him's ancient," and the other an Anglican 
 priest, with the intimation, ** Him's Modern"— 
 the said Anglican being a close copy of the 
 Roman. 
 
 ** There is no chill like the chill of an unre- 
 sponsive heart and unsympathetic nature." — 
 Dr. Guinness Rogers. 
 
 A worthy gentleman who thought he had con- 
 quered his defect of stammering, once made the 
 following observation — '* Woman is the b-b-boon 
 of Society." 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 103 
 
 The British farmer is in a bad way, and 
 various are the reasons assigned for his con- 
 dition. The first Sir Robert Peel, who lived at 
 Tamworth, was accustomed to say of the 
 farmers between that place and Birmingham, 
 ** they are as stupid as the oxen they drive ! " 
 
 Recently the authorities of the neighbouring 
 town of Kingston endeavoured to extend their 
 borders by including the district in which we 
 live, and a Local Government enquiry was held 
 to ascertain the views of the inhabitants. I 
 gave evidence in favour of inclusion, because it 
 would bring us better drainage and also the 
 electric light, whereupon counsel for the oppo- 
 sition asked me if I were aware that many 
 people objected to both electric and gas light- 
 ing ? ** Yes,'' I said, '*! am ; there always were 
 people who loved darkness rather than light, 
 but for my part I prefer the light." 
 
 George S 's cousin is a Don at Oxford ; 
 
 he is an ** Albino" (having pink eyes and white 
 hair), and as usual in such cases, his sight is 
 defective. On one occasion his ** mortar-board" 
 blew off, and the wind sent it careering down 
 the road ; the Don following in full chase. 
 Presently a black hen crossed the road in front 
 of the Don, who, mistaking her for his hat, 
 
104 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 pursued her across the fields to the intense 
 amusement of a crowd of admiring under- 
 graduates. 
 
 The other day a couple were walking on the 
 footpath, near the house, apparently intent on 
 some question of great interest to them, when 
 presently the man was heard to say ** There is 
 nothing in the whole world so cruel as a young 
 girl can be when she likes ! " What is your 
 opinion ? 
 
 ** Mustard, Sir? *' In some of the old-fashioned 
 London coffee-houses, the public dining-room is 
 divided off into little recesses, capable of seating 
 two persons facing each other ; one day a 
 gentleman taking his seat at one of these tables 
 noticed that the person sitting opposite was eat- 
 ing a steak without mustard, whereupon he gently 
 pushed the mustard-pot towards him ; no notice 
 being taken of this action, he pushed it a little 
 nearer — still no notice — he then pushed it close 
 against the gentleman^s plate, upon which the 
 latter quickly put it from him. This was too 
 much for the new comer, so taking a spoonful 
 of mustard he discharged it into his neighbour's 
 plate, saying ** it, you shall have mustard!" 
 
 Back in the ** forties," when the potato blight 
 first appeared in England, an old farmer in our 
 
FOR AMERICA N CIRCULA TION, 1 05 
 
 village discovered that the coming of the disease 
 had been foretold by the compiler of his favourite 
 almanac. At the head of each month there was 
 a verse containing some vague suggestions of 
 what might be expected to happen about that 
 time, and in the month of August, when the 
 potatoes were unearthed, there appeared a verse, 
 of which this was a line : 
 
 "And potentates shall tremble and quail." 
 
 Now it is well-known that the disease causes 
 the leaves of the potato plant to wither, and the 
 Cornish for that is *' to quail," ** potentates "was 
 taken to be the poetic form for *^ potatoes, '' and 
 so the prophet obtained no small honour for his 
 lucky hit. 
 
 Walking one day in a storm of wind and rain 
 on the promenade at Penzance, towards Newlyn, 
 we passed a sailor going merrily along, carrying 
 a walking-stick aloft, umbrella fashion. I hailed 
 him with, ** Sailing under bare poles. Jack?" 
 **Aye, aye. Sir ! " thundered the old salt. 
 
 The old inn at Newlyn used to be famed for 
 its fish dinners, and being in the neighbourhood 
 with a friend who had not been in Cornwall 
 before, I thought it a favourable opportunity to 
 show him what a Cornish fish dinner was like. 
 
 H 
 
io6 ENGLISH NOTES 
 
 Arrived at the inn we made our purpose known, 
 but were told by the old landlady in a most con- 
 temptuous tone that there was no fish. ***Ow 
 can *ee 'spect fish such a day as this?" said she. 
 ** Well, what can we have ? '* We could have a 
 steak, which, in due course, was forthcoming ; 
 but such a steak ! coal-black outside, and raw- 
 red inside. To add to our vexation, the wretched 
 old woman gave me a bad half-sovereign in 
 change, which, later in the day, was very near 
 bringing me trouble, when I offered it in payment 
 for an excellent tea at a Penzance hotel, not 
 having discovered that it was bad. 
 
 Here is a name that is surely unique ! A 
 couple, after having been married some years 
 without family, were surprised by the advent of 
 a son, and signalised the event by giving him a 
 name which was the cause of life-long annoy- 
 ance to the boy. They called him '* Unexpected 
 Thomas,'* but he was always spoken of as 
 ** U. T." — thus provoking continual curiosity. 
 
 A rev. gentleman once wrote me for a con- 
 tribution towards re-building his church, and by 
 way of stimulating my liberality he enclosed a 
 circular, of which the following is a copy : — 
 
FOR AMERICAN CIRCULATION, 107 
 
 A Message to Christians. 
 [From Judges v., 23.] 
 Curse ye Meroz, said the Angel of the Lord. 
 What has Meroz done ? Nothing. 
 Why then is Meroz to be cursed ? 
 Because Meroz did nothing. 
 What ought Meroz to have done ? 
 Come to the help of the Lord. 
 Could not the Lord do without Meroz ? 
 The Lord did do without Meroz. 
 Did the Lord sustain any loss ? 
 No, but Meroz did. 
 Is then Meroz to be cursed ? 
 Yes, and that bitterly. 
 Is it right that a man should be cursed for doing 
 
 nothing ? 
 Yes, when he ought to do something. 
 
 Not approving of being cursed in advance, I 
 wrote the rev. gentleman that I proposed doing 
 nothing in this case and take the consequence, 
 at the same time referring him to a certain 
 Jackdaw in the Ingoldsby Legends, 
 ¥ 
 
 Here is a copy of an unpublished letter of 
 Benjamin Franklin's, written while he was 
 United States Minister to the Court of France, 
 the original of which is in my possession. It 
 is a highly ingenious and interesting document, 
 and forms an interesting study in the art of 
 disobeying orders : — 
 
 **Passy, July \othy 1780. 
 '*Sir, 
 
 **I am requested by Madame la Marquise da la 
 
io8 ENGLISH NOTES. 
 
 Fayette, whom nobody can refuse, to give the 
 Bearer, M. le Baron d'Arros, a letter to your Ex- 
 cellency. I have acquainted him that our Armies are 
 fully officered, that there was no Probability of his 
 being employed, that it was contrary to my 
 Orders to recommend any foreign Officer for Em- 
 ployment, that such a Recommendation, if I were 
 to give it, would therefore do him no Service, 
 and that I could not give him the least Expecta- 
 tion or Encouragement to go over to America, 
 but would rather advise him to remain in France. 
 All this has had no Effect to change his Reso- 
 lution. He thinks his long Experience and Skill 
 in his Military Profession will recommend him ; 
 and I have only to request of your Excellency 
 that you would shew him that Countenance and 
 those Civilities, that his zeal for our Cause, and 
 his Connections with a Family we all so much 
 esteem and love, may entitle him to. 
 
 ** I have the honour to be, with the greatest 
 Respect, 
 
 *' Sir, your Excellency's most obedient 
 and most humble Servant, 
 
 **B. FRANKLIN." 
 
 ** His ExY. S. Huntingdon, Esq., 
 ^^ President of Congress,^' 
 
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