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 SPORT ROYAL
 
 BY THE SAME AUTHOR 
 Uni/orm, 75 cents each 
 
 THE PRISONER OF ZENDA 
 
 THE INDISCRETION OF THE DUCHESS 
 
 THE DOLLY DIALOGUES 
 
 A MAN OF MARK 
 
 A CHANGE OF AIR 
 
 SPORT ROY^
 
 r 
 
 i^i 
 
 " T/ie Princess rushed to the other door, and, on finding 
 it locked, screatned agaitz," — P. 88. 
 
 (Copyright, 1895, by Henry Holt & Co.)
 
 SPORT ROYAL 
 
 AND OTHETi STOT^IES 
 
 BY 
 
 ANTHONY HOPE 
 
 AUTHOR OF " THE PRISONER OF ZENDA," ETC. 
 
 KEW YORK 
 
 HENRY HOLT AND COMPANY 
 •895
 
 THE MERSHON COMPANY PRESS, 
 RAHWAY, N. J.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Sport Royal : 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Chapter I. The Sequel to the 
 
 
 Ball, . 
 
 I 
 
 " II. At the Hotel Magn- 
 
 
 IFIQUE, 
 
 31 
 
 " III. The Mission of the 
 
 
 Ruby, . 
 
 54 
 
 A Tragedy in Outline, 
 
 99 
 
 A Malapropos Parent, . 
 
 102 
 
 How THEY Stopped the " Run," 
 
 IIS 
 
 A Little Joke, .... 
 
 126 
 
 A Guardian of Morality, 
 
 139 
 
 Not a Bad Deal, .... 
 
 154 
 
 Middleton's Model, . 
 
 169 
 
 My Astral Body 
 
 185 
 
 The Nebraska Loadstone, 
 
 204 
 
 A Successful Rehearsal, 
 
 216
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 <iAn Extract from the Journals 
 of Julius Jason, Esquire. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 C^be Sequel to tbe :©aU. 
 
 EIDELBERG seems 
 rather a tourist-ridden, 
 liackneyed sort of place 
 to be the mother of adventures. 
 Nevertheless, it is there that my 
 story begins. I had been travel- 
 ing on the Continent, and came 
 to Heidelberg to pay my duty to 
 the castle, and recruit in quiet 
 after a spell of rather laborious 
 idleness at Homburg and Baden. 
 At first sight I made up my mind 
 that the place would bore me, and
 
 2 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 I came down to dinner at the 
 hotel, looking forward only to a 
 bad dinner and an early bed. 
 The room was so full that I could 
 not get a table to myself, and, see- 
 ing one occupied only by a couple 
 of gentlemanly looking men, I 
 made for it, and took the third 
 seat, facing one of the strangers, 
 a short, fair young man, with 
 a little flaxen mustache and a 
 soldierlike air, and having the 
 other, who was older, dark, and 
 clean-shaved, on my left. The 
 fourth seat was empty. 
 
 The two gentlemen returned 
 my bow with well-bred negli- 
 gence, and I started on my soup. 
 As I finished it, I looked up and 
 saw my companions interchanging 
 glances. Catching my eye, they 
 both looked away in an absent 
 fashion, each the while taking out 
 of his pocket a red silk handker-
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 3 
 
 chief and laying it on the table 
 by him. I turned away for a 
 moment, then suddenly looked 
 again and found their eyes on 
 me, and I fancied that the next 
 moment the eyes wandered from 
 me to the handkerchiefs. I hap- 
 pened to be carrying a red hand- 
 kerchief myself, and, thinking 
 either that something was in the 
 wind or perhaps that my friends 
 were having a joke at my expense 
 (though, as I said, they looked 
 well-bred men), I took it out of 
 my pocket and, laying it on the 
 table, gazed calmly in front of 
 me, my eyes naturally falling on 
 the fair young man. 
 
 He nodded significantly to the 
 older man, and held out his hand 
 to me. I shook hands with him, 
 and went through the same cere- 
 mony with the other. 
 
 "Ah!" said the young man.
 
 4 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 speaking in French, " you got her 
 letter?" 
 
 I nodded. 
 
 " And you are willing ? " 
 
 The first maxim for a would-be 
 adventurer is always to say " yes " 
 to questions. A " no," is fatal to 
 further progress. 
 
 " Yes," I answered. 
 
 " It will be made worth your 
 while, of course," he went on. 
 
 I thought I ought to resent this 
 suggestion. 
 
 " Sir," I said, " you cannot pos- 
 sibly mean to suggest " 
 
 The young man laughed pleas- 
 antly. 
 
 " My dear fellow," he said, 
 " ladies have their own ways of 
 paying debts. If you don't like 
 
 it " and he shrugged his 
 
 shoulders. 
 
 " Oh," said I, smiling, " I mis- 
 understood you."
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " It is, of course," said the older 
 man, speaking for the first time, 
 and in a loud whisper, "of vi- 
 tal importance that His Royal 
 Highness' name should not ap- 
 pear." 
 
 This really began to be mysteri- 
 ous and interesting. I nodded. 
 
 " That goes without saying," 
 said the young man. "And 
 you'll be ready ? " 
 
 "Ready!" I said. "But 
 when ? " 
 
 "Didn't I tell you? Oh, six 
 o'clock to-morrow morning." 
 
 " That's early hours." 
 
 " Well, you must, you know," 
 he answered. 
 
 "And," added the older man, 
 "the countess hopes you'll come 
 to breakfast afterward at ten." 
 
 " I'll be there, never fear," said 
 I, "and it's very kind." 
 
 " Bravo ! " said the young man,
 
 6 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 clapping me on the shoulder (for 
 we had risen from table). "You 
 take it the right way." 
 
 As may be supposed, I was 
 rather puzzled by this time, and 
 decidedly vexed to find I should 
 have to be up so early. Still, the 
 mention of His Royal Highness 
 and the countess decided me to 
 go on for the present ; probably 
 the real man — for, unless it were 
 all a mad joke, there must be a 
 real man — would appear in the 
 course of the evening. I only 
 hoped my new friends would, in 
 their turn, take it in the right 
 way when that happened. 
 
 " Have you a servant with 
 you ? " asked the young man, as 
 we said good-night. 
 
 " No," said I ; "I am quite 
 alone." 
 
 " You are a paragon of pru- 
 dence," he answered, smiling.
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 7 
 
 " Well, I'll call you, and we'll slip 
 out quietly." 
 
 Just as I was getting into bed. 
 the waiter knocked at my door and 
 gave me a note. It bore no address. 
 
 " Is it for me ? " I asked. 
 
 " Yes, sir," he answered. " You 
 are the gentleman who dined with 
 Herr Vooght and M. Dumergue ? " 
 
 I supposed I was, and opened 
 the note. 
 
 " You are generous and forgiv- 
 ing, indeed," it said (and said it in 
 English). " What reward will you 
 claim ? But do be careful. He 
 is dangerous. — M." 
 
 " The devil ! " I exclaimed. 
 
 The next morning I was 
 aroused at five o'clock by my two 
 friends. 
 
 "Good-morning, Herr Vooght," 
 said I, looking just between them. 
 
 " Good-morning," answered the 
 older man.
 
 8 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " Now, my dear fellow, come 
 along. There's a cup of coffee 
 downstairs," said the other, whom 
 I took to be Dumergue. 
 
 After coffee, we got into a close 
 carriage with a pair of horses, and 
 drove two or three miles into the 
 country ; my companions said 
 little. Dumergue twice asked in 
 a joking way how I felt, and 
 Vooght puzzled me very much by 
 remarking : 
 
 " They are bringing all the 
 necessaries ; but I don't know 
 what they will choose." 
 
 When this was said, Dumergue 
 was humming a tune. He went 
 on for five minutes, and then said, 
 with a touch of scorn : 
 
 " My good Vooght, they know 
 our friend's reputation. They 
 will choose pistols." 
 
 I could not repress a start. 
 No doubt it was stupid of me
 
 SPORT ROTAI^ 9 
 
 not to haTe caagh: "'"t -^riz^zz 
 of this early exj:-:- .:::re. 
 
 bat it reallj never str- . - _ : ".--i: 
 oar b'lsiness migiit be a c-el 
 However, so it seemed, and appar- 
 ently" I was one of the principals. 
 Dumergue noticed mv lirtle start. 
 
 '•What's the matter?" he 
 asked. 
 
 '•Do they know my name?" 
 said I. 
 
 ^My dear friend, coald yea 
 expect the baron to fight with an 
 unknown man ? The challenge 
 had to be in yoar name." 
 
 I had clearly been the chal- 
 lenser. I was consumed with 
 cariosity to know what the griev- 
 ance was, and how the countess 
 was concerned in the matter. 
 
 " The countess assured us," 
 said Vooght, " that she had your 
 authority." 
 
 "As fullv as if I had been
 
 lO SPORT ROVAL. 
 
 there," I answered, and Dumergue 
 resumed his tune. 
 
 I was sincerely glad that the 
 name of my original had been 
 given, for his reputation for 
 swordsmanship had evidently 
 saved me from a hole in my skin. 
 I was a fair hand with a pistol ; 
 but, like most of my countrymen, 
 a mere bungler with the rapier. 
 It was very annoying, though, that 
 ray friends' exaggerated prudence 
 prevented them mentioning my 
 name : it would have been more 
 convenient to know who I was. 
 
 I had not long for reflection, 
 for we soon drew up by a roadside 
 inn, and, getting out of the car- 
 riage, walked through the house, 
 where we were apparently ex- 
 pected, into a field behind. There 
 were three men walking up and 
 down, and two of them at once 
 advanced to meet "Vooght and
 
 SPORT ROYAL. II 
 
 Dumergue. I remained where I 
 was, merely raising my hat, and 
 the third man — a big, burly fellow, 
 with a heavy black mustache — 
 followed my example. 
 
 This one, no doubt, was the 
 baron. To be frank, he looked a 
 brute, and I had very little hesita- 
 tation in assuming that the merits 
 of the quarrel must be on my side. 
 I was comforted by this conclu- 
 sion, as I had no desire to shoot 
 an unoffending person. Prelimi- 
 naries were soon concluded. I 
 overheard one of the baron's 
 representatives mention the word 
 apology, and add that they would 
 meet us halfway, but Dumergue 
 shook his head decisively. This 
 defiant attitude became Dumergue 
 very well ; but I, for my part, 
 should have been open to reason. 
 
 The baron and I were placed 
 opposite one another at twelve
 
 12 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 paces. There were to be two 
 shots — unless, of course, one of 
 us were disabled at the first fire ; 
 after that, the seconds were to 
 consider whether the matter need 
 go further. 
 
 The word was just about to be 
 given, when to my surprise the 
 baron cried : 
 
 " Stop ! " 
 
 Everyone looked at him in 
 astonishment. 
 
 " Before we fire," he went on, 
 " I wish to ask this gentleman 
 one question. No — I will not be 
 stopped ! " 
 
 His seconds, who had advanced, 
 fell back before his resolute ges- 
 ture, and he continued, address- 
 ing me : 
 
 " Sir, will you do me the honor 
 to answer one question ? Are 
 you the person who accom- 
 panied "
 
 SPORT ROVAL. 13 
 
 Vooght Struck in quickly : 
 
 " No names, please ! " 
 
 The baron bowed, and began 
 again. 
 
 " On your honor, sir, are you 
 the gentleman who accompanied 
 the lady in question to the masked 
 ball on the night in question ? " 
 
 These gentlemen were all dip- 
 lomatic. I thought I would be 
 diplomatic too. 
 
 " Surely this is grossly irregu- 
 lar ? " I said, appealing to my 
 supporters. 
 
 " I ask for an answer," said the 
 baron. 
 
 " It's nothing but a new insult," 
 said I. 
 
 " I have my reasons, and those 
 gentlemen know them." 
 
 This was intolerable. 
 
 " You mean to fight, or you don't, 
 M. le Baron," said I. " Which is 
 it?"
 
 14 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 He shrugged his shoulders. 
 
 " Your master is well served," 
 he said with a sneer. 
 
 His seconds looked bewildered : 
 Vooght bit his nails, and Du- 
 mergue swore furiously, and, com- 
 ing near me, whispered in my ear : 
 
 " Shoot straight ! Stop his 
 cursed mouth for him ! " 
 
 I had not the least intention of 
 killing the baron, if I could avoid 
 it without being killed myself ; 
 but I thought a slight lesson would 
 improve his manners, and, when 
 the word came, I fired with a care- 
 ful aim. He evidently meant mis- 
 chief, for I heard his ball whiz 
 past my ear ; I missed him clean, 
 being much out of practice, and, 
 I dare say, rather nervous. I 
 pulled myself together for the 
 second shot, for I saw that my 
 my opponent was not to be trifled 
 with, and I should not have been
 
 SPORT ROi'AL. 15 
 
 the least surprised to find myself 
 in paradise the next moment. On 
 the word I fired ; the baron fell 
 back with a cry, and simulta- 
 neously I felt a tingle in my left 
 hand, and the unmistakable warm 
 ooze of blood. The witnesses ran 
 to my opponent, and raised his 
 head. Dumergue turned round 
 to me : 
 
 " Are you hurt ? " 
 
 "A scratch," I answered, for I 
 found the ball had run up my 
 arm, merely grazing me in its 
 passage. 
 
 A hurried consultation followed ; 
 then Vooght and Dumergue raised 
 their hats and joined me. 
 
 " We had best be off," said 
 Vooght. 
 
 " Is he dead ? " I asked. 
 
 " No," said Dumergue, with a 
 little disappointment, I thought. 
 " He'll get over it ; but he's safe
 
 l5 SPORT ROVAL. 
 
 for a week or two. Not a bad 
 shot, colonel ! " 
 
 So I was a colonel ! 
 
 " Now," said Vooght, " we'll 
 drive back, and send you to the 
 countess." 
 
 I had made up my mind to get 
 away from the place as soon as I 
 could, but my curiosity to see the 
 causa belli was too strong, and I 
 said I should be delighted to keep 
 my engagement. 
 
 Dumergue smiled significantly, 
 and Vooght hurried us into the 
 carriage. We drove back to the 
 town, and then two or three miles 
 into the country again, till we 
 came to a pretty villa, embowered 
 in trees, and standing some two 
 hundred yards back from the 
 road. There was no drive up to 
 the house, a turf walk forming 
 the passage from the highway. 
 Vooght motioned me to get down.
 
 SPORT ROYAL. I? 
 
 " Don't you accompany me?" I 
 asked. 
 
 Dumergue smiled again. 
 
 "Oh, no!" he said. "Come 
 for us at the hotel, and we'll 
 all be off by the two o'clock 
 train." 
 
 " Unless you are detained," 
 added Vooght. 
 
 " I shouldn't be detained, if I 
 were you," said Dumergue dryly. 
 " Who knows ? The baron may 
 die!" 
 
 I was quite determined not to 
 be detained, and said so. I was 
 also quite determined not to keep 
 the rendezvous at the hotel, but 
 to slip away quietly by myself. 
 The colonel might arrive at any 
 moment. 
 
 I watched my friends drive off, 
 and then walked briskly up to the 
 house. A man in livery met me 
 before I had time to rine.
 
 l8 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " Are you the gentleman ? " he 
 asked. 
 
 I nodded. 
 
 " Will you be so kind, sir, as to 
 walk straight in ? That door, sir. 
 The countess expects you." 
 
 I had my doubts about that, but 
 I walked in, shutting the door 
 swiftly behind me, lest the servant 
 should hear anything. I thought 
 an explosion not improbable. 
 
 The room was dim, close cur- 
 tains shutting out the growing 
 strength of the sunshine. The 
 air was thick with the scent of 
 flowers that overpowered without 
 quite smothering the appetizing 
 smell rising from a table profusely 
 spread for breakfast. I had en- 
 tered softly, and had time to take 
 note of the surroundings before 
 I became aware of a tall, slight 
 figure in white, first moving impetu- 
 ously toward me, then stopping
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 19 
 
 abruptly in surprise. Presumably, 
 this was the countess. Charming 
 as she was, with her open blue 
 eyes, fluify golden hair, and fresh 
 tints, I wondered from what noble 
 house she sprang. However, the 
 fountains of honor are many, and 
 their streams meander sometimes 
 through very winding channels. 
 
 The countess stood and looked 
 at me. I bowed and smiled. 
 
 "You are naturally surprised," 
 I said, in my smoothest tone. 
 
 " I was expecting — another 
 gentleman." 
 
 " Yes, I know. I come in his 
 place." 
 
 " In his place ? " she repeated, 
 in incredulous tones. 
 
 " Yes ; in the colonel's place." 
 
 " Hush ! " she exclaimed. " We 
 needn't mention names. 
 
 It suited me perfectly not to 
 mention names.
 
 20 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 "I beg pardon," I murmured. 
 
 "But how is it possible?" she 
 aslced. " Do you know wliat he 
 was to come for ? " 
 
 " Oh, yes ! " 
 
 " And he hasn't come ? " 
 
 " No." 
 
 She frowned. 
 
 "Wouldn't he come?" 
 
 " He couldn't. So I came." 
 
 "But how did you know any- 
 thing about it? Did he tell you 
 about the pr — about the affair ?" 
 
 " No. I only heard " 
 
 " From him ? " 
 
 " Yes— that you wanted a cham- 
 pion." 
 
 " Oh, that's absurd ! Why, you 
 never heard of me ! " 
 
 "Ah, indeed I have!" 
 
 "And — did you recognize me 
 under my new name ? " 
 
 " Your " 
 
 " My— my title. You know."
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 21 
 
 " The— he told me that. Must 
 I confess? I jumped at the chance 
 of serving you." 
 
 "You had never seen me ! " 
 
 " Perhaps I had seen your 
 photograph." 
 
 She smiled at this, but still 
 looked perturbed, 
 
 " Pray don't be distressed," said 
 I. " I am very discreet." 
 
 " Oh, I hope so ! The prince 
 [she spoke in a whisper] was so 
 urgent about discretion. You 
 haven't seen him ? " 
 
 " The prince ? No." 
 
 " And — when is it to be ? " 
 
 "I don't quite understand." 
 This was my first truthful re- 
 remark. 
 
 " Why, the duel ! " 
 
 " Oh, it's all over ! " 
 
 " Over ! " 
 
 " Yes — two hours ago." 
 
 " And the baron ? No, for-
 
 22 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 give me. You ! Are you 
 hurt ? " 
 
 " Not a bit. He's hurt." 
 
 "Is he dead?" she asked 
 breathlessly. 
 
 " I am sorry, countess. Not 
 quite. Was that necessary ? " 
 
 " Oh, no ! Though he deserved 
 it. He insulted me shamefully." 
 
 " Then he did deserve it." 
 
 She went off at a tangent. 
 
 " What became of my let- 
 ter?" 
 
 " They gave it to me. You 
 only said for the gentleman who 
 dined with your friends." 
 
 " Then you read it ? " she asked, 
 blushing. 
 
 " Yes. How I wish I were the 
 rightful owner of it ! " 
 
 "Why didn't he come?" she 
 asked again. 
 
 " He's going to write and ex- 
 plain."
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 23 
 
 " And you really came be- 
 cause " 
 
 •'May I tell you already? Or 
 have you guessed already ? " 
 
 She blushed again. 
 
 " I don't see what else the 
 prince could do, you know," she 
 said. " He ought, of course, 
 never to have gone to the ball at 
 all." 
 
 " Perhaps not," I answered ; 
 " but I suppose he was tempted." 
 
 *' Do you think very badly of 
 me?" 
 
 " I should think you perfection 
 if " 
 
 " Well ? " 
 
 "You would give me some 
 breakfast." 
 
 " Oh, what a shame ! You're 
 starving ! And after all you have 
 done ! Come, I'll wait on you." 
 
 My meal was very pleasant. 
 The lady was charming ; she satis-
 
 24 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 fied every feeling I had, except 
 curiosity. She was clearly Eng- 
 lish ; equally clearly she was in- 
 volved with some great people on 
 the Continent. I gathered that 
 the baron had insulted her, when 
 she was with the prince, and the 
 latter could not, whether for state 
 or domestic reasons, espouse the 
 quarrel. So far I got, but no 
 farther. 
 
 " What a debt I owe you ! " she 
 said, as she led the way after 
 breakfast to the top of a little 
 tower. An awning was spread 
 overhead, and armchairs on the 
 floor. A cool breeze blew, and 
 stirred her hair. 
 
 " I am more than paid ! " 
 
 *' Fancy, if you had been 
 hurt ! " 
 
 *' Better I than the colonel ! " I 
 suggested. 
 
 She darted a smile at me.
 
 SPORT KOYAL. 25 
 
 " Oh, well," she said, " you 
 came, and he didn't. I like you 
 best." 
 
 It was all very charming, but 
 time was flying, and I began to 
 plan a graceful exit. 
 
 "You make it hard to go," I 
 said. 
 
 " Yes, I suppose we must go as 
 soon as possible. Herr Vooght 
 said at two o'clock." 
 
 I was startled. Delightful as 
 she was, I hardly reckoned on her 
 being one of the party. 
 
 " The prince will be so pleased 
 to see you," she went on. 
 
 " Will he ? " 
 
 " Why, you will have my recom- 
 mendation ! " 
 
 " I'm sure it must be all-power- 
 ful ! " 
 
 " But we have two hours before 
 we need start. You must want to 
 rest."
 
 26 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 "What a charming tower this 
 is ! " 
 
 " Yes ; such a view. Look, we 
 can see for miles. Only I hate 
 that stretch of dusty road." 
 
 I looked carelessly toward 
 the road along which we had 
 come. 
 
 " Look what a dust ! " she said. 
 " It's a carriage ! Oh, they'll up- 
 set ! " 
 
 I jumped up. About half a 
 mile off, I saw a carriage and pair 
 driven furiously toward the villa. 
 My heart beat. 
 
 "Who can it be ?" she said. 
 
 " Don't be frightened," said L 
 " Possibly the authorities have 
 found out about the duel." 
 
 "Oh!" 
 
 " Let me go and see." 
 
 " Take care ! " 
 
 " And in case I have to slip 
 away "
 
 SPORT ROYAL. TJ 
 
 " I shall go alone. You will 
 join us ? " 
 
 " Yes, But now, in case " 
 
 " Well ? " 
 
 *' As a reward, may I kiss your 
 hand?" 
 
 She gave it me. 
 
 " I am glad you came," she said. 
 " Stay, perhaps it's only our 
 friends coming for us." 
 
 " I'll go and see." 
 
 I was reluctant to cut short our 
 good-by, — for I feared it must be 
 final, — but no time was to be lost. 
 With another kiss — and upon my 
 honor, I can't swear whether it 
 was her hand or her cheek this 
 time — I rushed downstairs, seized 
 my hat and cane, and dived into 
 the shrubberies that bordered on 
 the turf walk. Quickly I made 
 my way to within twenty yards of 
 the road, and stopped, motionless 
 and completely hidden by the
 
 28 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 trees. At that moment the car- 
 riage, with its smoking horses, 
 drew up at the gate. 
 
 Dumergue got out ; Vooght 
 came next ; then a tall, powerful 
 man, of military bearing. No 
 doubt this was the colonel. They 
 seemed in a hurry ; motioning the 
 driver to wait, they walked or 
 almost ran past me up the path. 
 The moment they were by me and 
 round a little curve, I hastened to 
 the gate, and burst upon the 
 driver. 
 
 " A hundred marks to the 
 station ! " 
 
 " But, sir, I am engaged." 
 
 *< Damn you ! Two hundred !" 
 I cried. 
 
 " Get in," said he, like a sensi- 
 ble man, bundling back the nose- 
 bags he was just putting on his 
 horses. I leaped in, he jumped on 
 the box, and off we flew quicker
 
 SPORT KOVAL. 29 
 
 even than they had come. As we 
 went, I glanced up at the tower. 
 They were there ! I saw Vooght 
 and Dumergue lean over for a 
 moment, and then turn as if to 
 come down. The tall stranger 
 stood opposite the lady, and 
 seemed to be talking to her, 
 
 " Faster ! " I cried, and faster 
 and faster we went, till we reached 
 the station. Flinging the driver 
 his money, I took a ticket for the 
 first train, and got in, hot and 
 breathless. As we steamed out of 
 the town, I saw, from my carriage- 
 window, a neat barouche with a 
 woman and three men in it, driv- 
 ing quickly along the road, which 
 ran by the railway. It was my 
 party ! Youth is vain, and beauty 
 is powerful, I bared my head, 
 leaned out of the window, and 
 kissed my hand to the countess. 
 We were not more than thirty
 
 30 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 yards apart, and, to my joy, I saw 
 her return my salutation, with a 
 toss of her head and a defiant 
 glance at her companions. The 
 colonel sat glum and still ; Vooght 
 was biting his nails harder than 
 ever ; Dumergue shook his fist at 
 me, but, I thought, more in jest 
 than in anger. I kissed my hand 
 again as the train and the carriage 
 whisked by one another, and I 
 was borne on my way out of their 
 reach.
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 St tbe Ibotel /flbagnitique. 
 
 10 a reflective mind nothing 
 is more curious than the 
 
 11 way one thing leads to 
 another. A little experience of 
 this tendency soon cured me of 
 refusing to go anywhere I was 
 asked, merely because the pros- 
 pects of amusement were not very 
 obvious. I always went — taking 
 credit of course for much amia- 
 bility — and I often received my 
 reward in an unexpected devel- 
 opment of something new or an 
 interesting revival of a former 
 episode. It happened, a few 
 months after my adventure at 
 
 31
 
 32 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 Heidelberg, that my brother's 
 wife, Jane Jason, asked me, as a 
 favor to herself, to take a stall at 
 the theater where a certain actress 
 was, after a long and successful 
 career in the provinces, introduc- 
 ing herself to a London audience. 
 Jane is possessed by the idea that 
 she has a keen nose for dramatic 
 talent, and she assured me that 
 \\tx protegee was a wonder. I dare 
 say the woman had some talent, 
 but she was an ugly, gaunt crea- 
 ture of forty, and did not shine in 
 Juliet. At the end of the second 
 act I was bored to death, and was 
 pondering whether I knew enough 
 of the play to slip out without 
 Jane being likely to discover my 
 desertion by cross-examination, 
 when my eye happened to fall on 
 the stage-box in the first tier. In 
 the center seat sat a fair, rather 
 stout man, with the very weariest
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 33 
 
 expression that I ever saw on 
 human face. He was such an un- 
 surpassed impersonation of bore- 
 dom that I could not help staring 
 at him ; I could do so without 
 rudeness, as his eyes were fixed on 
 the chandelier in the roof of the 
 house. I looked my fill, and was 
 about to turn away, and go out 
 for a cigarette, when somebody 
 spoke to me in a low voice, the 
 tones of which seemed familiar. 
 
 " Ah, impostor, here you are ! " 
 
 It was Dumergue, smiling 
 quietly at me. I greeted him with 
 surprise and pleasure. 
 
 " How is the baron ? " I asked. 
 
 " He cheated the — grave," an- 
 swered Dumergue. 
 
 " And the countess ? " 
 
 " Hush ! I have a message for 
 you." 
 
 " From her ? " I inquired, not, I 
 fear, without eagerness.
 
 34 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " No," he replied, " from the 
 prince. He desires that you 
 should be presented to him." 
 
 "Who is he?" 
 
 '' I forgot. Prince Ferdinand 
 of Glottenberg." 
 
 " Indeed ! He's in London, 
 then ? " 
 
 "Yes, in that box," and he 
 pointed to the bored man, and 
 added : 
 
 " Come along ; he hates being 
 kept waiting." 
 
 " He looks as if he hated most 
 things," I remarked. 
 
 "Well, most things are detest- 
 able," said Dumergue, leading the 
 way. 
 
 The prince rose and greeted me 
 with fatigued graciousness. 
 
 " I am very much indebted 
 to you, Mr. Jason," he said, 
 " for " 
 
 I began to stammer an apol-
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 35 
 
 ogy for my intrusion into his 
 affairs. 
 
 '* For," he resumed, without 
 noticing what I said, " a moment's 
 bewilderment. I quite enjoyed 
 it." 
 
 I bowed, and he continued. 
 
 " The only things I cling to in 
 life, Mr. Jason, are a quiet time at 
 home and my income. You have 
 been very discreet. If you hadn't, 
 I might have lost those two things. 
 I am very much obliged. Will you 
 give me the pleasure of your com- 
 pany at supper ? Dumergue, the 
 princess will be delighted to see 
 Mr. Jason ? " 
 
 " Yes, sir. Her Royal Highness 
 will be delighted," answered 
 Dumergue. 
 
 " Where was the princess go- 
 ing ? " asked the prince. 
 
 " To a meeting of the Women's 
 International Society for the Pro-
 
 36 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 motion of Morality, at the Man- 
 sion House, sir." 
 
 " Mon Dieu ! " said the prince. 
 
 " His Majesty is much inter- 
 ested in the society, sir." 
 
 " I am sure my brother would 
 be. Come along, Mr. Jason." 
 
 The prince and princess were 
 staying at the Hotel Magnifique 
 in Northumberland Avenue. We 
 drove thither, and were told that 
 the princess had returned. Upon 
 further inquiry, made by Du- 
 mergue, it appeared that it would 
 be agreeable to her to sup with the 
 prince and to receive Mr. Jason. 
 So we went into the dining room 
 and found her seated by the fire. 
 After greeting me, she said to the 
 prince : 
 
 " I have just written a long 
 account of our meeting to the 
 king. He will be so interested." 
 
 She was a small woman, with a
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 37 
 
 gentle manner and a low, sweet 
 voice. She looked like an amiable 
 and intelligent girl of eighteen, 
 and had a pretty, timid air, which 
 made me wish to assure her of my 
 respectful protection. 
 
 " My brother," said the prince, 
 " is a man of catholic tastes." 
 
 " It is necessary in a king, sir," 
 suggested Dumergue. 
 
 The prince did not answer him, 
 but offered his arm to his wife, to 
 escort her to the table. She mo- 
 tioned me to sit on her right hand, 
 and began to prattle gently to me 
 about the court of Glottenberg. 
 The prince put in a word here and 
 there, and Dumergue laughed ap- 
 preciatively whenever the prin- 
 cess' descriptions were neat and 
 appropriate — at least, so I inter- 
 preted his delicate flattery. 
 
 I enjoyed myself very much. 
 The princess was evidently, to
 
 38 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 judge from her conversation, a 
 little Puritan, and I always love a 
 pretty Puritan. That rogue Du- 
 mergue agreed with all her views, 
 and the prince allowed his silence 
 to pass for assent. 
 
 " We do try at court," she 
 ended by saying, " to set an ex- 
 ample to society ; and, as the king 
 is unmarried, of course I have to 
 do a great deal." 
 
 At this moment, a servant en- 
 tered, bearing a card on a salver. 
 He approached the princess. 
 
 " A gentleman desires the 
 honor of an audience with Her 
 Royal Highness," he announced. 
 
 " At this time of night ! " ex- 
 claimed the princess. 
 
 " He says his business will not 
 bear delay, and prays for a inter- 
 view." 
 
 " All business will bear delay," 
 said the prince, " and generally
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 39 
 
 be the better for it. Who is 
 he?" 
 
 "The Baron de Barbot." 
 
 " Oh, I must see him," cried 
 the. princess. " Why, he is a dear 
 friend of ours." 
 
 I had detected a rapid glance 
 pass between Dumergue and the 
 prince. The latter then an- 
 swered : 
 
 " Yes, we must see Barbot. If 
 you will go to the drawing room, 
 I'll take your message myself." 
 
 " That is kind of you," said the 
 princess, retiring. 
 
 " Give me the card," said the 
 prince, " and ask the baron to be 
 kind enough to wait a few min- 
 utes." 
 
 The servant went out, and the 
 prince turned to me. 
 
 "Why didn't you kill him, Mr. 
 Jason ? " he asked. 
 
 " Is it " I began.
 
 40 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " Yes, it's your baron," said 
 Dumergue. 
 
 " It's really a little awkward," 
 said the prince, as though gently 
 remonstrating with fate. " We 
 had arranged it all so pleasantly." 
 
 " It would upset the princess," 
 said Dumergue. 
 
 " What upsets the princess up- 
 sets me," said the prince. " I am 
 a devoted husband, Mr. Jason." 
 
 " If there is anything I can do, 
 sir," said I, "rely on me." 
 
 " You overwhelm me," said the 
 prince. " Is there anything, Du- 
 mergue ? " 
 
 " Why, yes, sir. Mr. Jason was 
 at the ball. Why should he have 
 fought, if he wasn't ? " 
 
 " You are right, Dumergue. 
 Mr. Jason, you were at the ball." 
 
 " But, sir, I — I don't know any- 
 thing about the ball." 
 
 " It was just like other balls —
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 41 
 
 Other masked balls," said Du- 
 mergue. 
 
 " Perhaps a little more so," 
 added the prince, lighting a ciga- 
 ette. 
 
 '' There was a scandal at the 
 last one," Dumergue continued, 
 " and the king strictly forbade 
 anyone connected with the court 
 to go, under pain of his severe 
 displeasure. There had been a 
 rumor that a royal prince was at 
 the one before, and conse- 
 quently " 
 
 " That royal prince was specially 
 commanded not to go to this one," 
 said the prince. 
 
 " It was bad enough," resumed 
 Dumergue, " that it should be dis- 
 covered that the princess' favo- 
 rite lady-in-waiting, the Countess 
 von Hohstein " 
 
 " Who bore such a high char- 
 acter," interjected the prince.
 
 42 SPORT ROl'AL. 
 
 " Did go, and, moreover, went 
 under the escort of an unknown 
 gentleman — a gentleman whose 
 name she refused to give." 
 
 " Was that discovered ? " said 1. 
 
 " It was. This baron detected 
 her, and, with a view, as we have 
 reason to believe, to compelling 
 her companion to declare himself, 
 publicly insulted her." 
 
 " Whereupon," said the prince, 
 ** you very properly knocked him 
 down, Mr. Jason." 
 
 " I beg your pardon, sir? " 
 
 " The princess," continued 
 Dumergue, "was terribly agitated 
 and annoyed at the scandal and 
 the duel which followed. And of 
 course the countess left the court, 
 and returned to England." 
 
 "To England?" 
 
 " Yes ; she was a Miss Mason. 
 The king ennobled her at the 
 princess' request."
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 43 
 
 I smiled and said : 
 " And now there is a question 
 about who her escort was ? " 
 
 " There is," said Dumergue. 
 " It is believed that the baron 
 entertains an extraordinary idea 
 that the gentleman in question 
 
 was no other than " 
 
 " Myself," said the prince, 
 throwing away his cigarette. 
 
 I remembered the baron's 
 strange questions before the duel. 
 " Dispose of me as you please, 
 sir," said I. 
 
 " Then you were at the ball, 
 and knocked the baron down ! " 
 exclaimed Dumergue. 
 
 " A thousand thanks," said the 
 prince. 
 
 " But what are we to do with 
 him now, sir ? " asked Dumergue. 
 "The princess will be expecting 
 him." 
 
 " I will go and tell the princess
 
 44 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 of Mr. Jason's confession. You 
 go with Mr. Jason, and tell the 
 baron that the princess cannot 
 receive him. I want him to see 
 Mr. Jason." 
 
 ^' But, sir," said I, " I didn't 
 fight under my own name." 
 
 The prince was already gone, 
 and Dumergue was halfway down 
 the stairs. I followed the lat- 
 ter. 
 
 We found the baron in the 
 smoking room, taking a cup of 
 coffee. A couple of men sat 
 talking on a settee near him ; 
 otherwise the room was empty. 
 
 Dumergue went up to the baron, 
 I following a step or two behind 
 him. The baron rose and bowed 
 coldly. 
 
 " I am charged," said Du- 
 mergue, " to express His Royal 
 Highness' regrets that Her Royal 
 Highness cannot have the pleas-
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 45 
 
 ure of receiving you. She has re- 
 tired to her apartments." 
 
 " The servant told me she was 
 at supper." 
 
 " He was misinformed." 
 
 " I'm not to be put off like that. 
 I'll have a refusal from the prin- 
 cess herself." 
 
 "I will inform His Royal High- 
 ness." 
 
 The baron was about to answer, 
 when he caught sight of me. 
 
 " Ah, there's the jackal ! " he 
 said, with a sneer, 
 
 I stepped forward. 
 
 "Do you refer to me?" I 
 asked. 
 
 "Unless I am wrong in recog- 
 nizing my former antagonist, 
 Colonel Despard." 
 
 This was just what I had antici- 
 pated. Dumergue did not seem 
 surprised either. 
 
 " Of course it is Colonel Des-
 
 46 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 pard," he said. " You would not 
 be likely to forget him, baron." 
 
 We had been speaking in a low 
 tone, but at Dumergue's sneer, the 
 baron lost his temper. Raising his 
 voice, he said, almost in a shout : 
 
 "Then I tell Colonel Despard 
 that he is a mean hound." 
 
 If I assumed the colonel's name, 
 I felt I must at least defend it 
 from imputations. I began : 
 
 " Once before, baron, I chas- 
 tised " 
 
 I was interrupted. One of the 
 men on the settee interposed, ris- 
 ing as he spoke. 
 
 " I beg pardon, gentlemen, but 
 is it Colonel Despard of the 
 Hussars to whom you refer? " 
 
 " Yes," said the baron. 
 
 " Then that gentleman is not 
 Colonel Despard," announced our 
 new friend, ** I am Colonel Des- 
 pard's brother-in-law."
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 47 
 
 For a moment I was at a loss ; 
 things were falling out so very 
 unfortunately. Dumergue turned 
 on the stranger fiercely : 
 
 ** Pray, sir, was your interposi- 
 tion solicited ? " 
 
 " Certainly not. But if this 
 gentleman says he is Colonel Des- 
 pard, I take leave to contradict 
 him." 
 
 *' I should advise you to do 
 nothing of the sort," said I. " M. 
 Dumergue knows me very well." 
 
 " This person," said the baron, 
 " passed himself off as Colonel 
 Despard, and, by that pretext, 
 obtained from me the honor of a 
 duel with me. It appears that he 
 is a mere impostor." 
 
 The other man on the settee 
 called out cheerfully, " Bob, send 
 for the police ! " 
 
 Dumergue looked rather sheep- 
 ish ; his invention failed him.
 
 48 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " Do either or both of these 
 gentlemen," said I, indicating the 
 baron and the colonel's brother- 
 in-law, "call me an impostor?" 
 
 " I do," said the baron, with a 
 sneering laugh. 
 
 " I am compelled to assert it," 
 said the other, with a bow. 
 
 I had edged near the little table, 
 on which the baron's coffee had 
 been served. I now took up the 
 coffee-pot and milk-jug. The 
 coffee I threw in the baron's face, 
 and the milk in that of his ally. 
 Both men sprang forward with an 
 oath. At the same moment, the 
 electric light went out, and I was 
 violently pulled back toward the 
 door, and someone whispered, 
 " Vanish as quick as you can. 
 Go home — go anywhere." 
 
 " All right, sir," said I, for I 
 recognized the prince's voice, 
 " But what are they doing ?"
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 49 
 
 " Never mind ; be off." And 
 the prince handed me a hat. 
 
 I walked quickly to the door, 
 and hailed a hansom. As I drove 
 off, I saw the prince skip upstairs, 
 and B. posse of waiters rush toward 
 the smoking room. I went home 
 to bed. 
 
 The next morning, as I was 
 breakfasting, my man told me two 
 gentlemen were below, and wished 
 to see me. I told him to show 
 them up, and the prince and 
 Dumergue came in, the former 
 wrapped up in a fur coat, with a 
 collar that hid most of his face. 
 
 "The prince would like some 
 brandy in a little soda water," said 
 Dumergue. 
 
 I administered the cordial. 
 The prince drank it, and then 
 turned to me. 
 
 " Did you get home all right ? " 
 he asked.
 
 50 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " Perfectly, sir." 
 
 " After you took leave of us, 
 we had an explanation, Mr, 
 Wetherington — it was Mr, Wether- 
 ington at whom you threw the 
 milk — was very reasonable, I 
 explained the whole matter, and 
 he said he was sure his brother- 
 in-law would pardon the liberty." 
 
 " I'm afraid I took rather a 
 liberty with him." 
 
 " Oh," said Dumergue, " we 
 made him believe the milk was 
 meant for the baron, as well as 
 the coffee, I said we took it au 
 lait at Glottenberg," 
 
 " It's lucky I thought of turn- 
 ing out the light," said the prince. 
 " I was looking on, and it seemed 
 about time." 
 
 " What did the hotel people 
 say, sir ?" 
 
 " They are going to sue the 
 electric company," said the
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 51 
 
 prince, with a slight smile. " It 
 seems there is a penalty if the 
 light doesn't work properly." 
 
 " And the baron, sir ? " 
 
 " We kicked the baron out as 
 a blackmailer," said Dumergue. 
 " He is going to bring an ac- 
 tion." 
 
 " I return to Glottenberg to- 
 day," concluded the prince ; " ac- 
 companied by the princess and 
 M. Dumergue." 
 
 I thought this course very 
 prudent, and said so. " But," I 
 added, " I shall be called as a 
 witness." 
 
 " No ; Colonel Despard will." 
 
 " Well, then " 
 
 " He will establish an alibi. 
 Voila tout!'' 
 
 " I am glad it all ends so hap- 
 pily, sir." 
 
 " Well, there is one matter," 
 said the prince. " I had to tell
 
 52 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 the princess of your indiscretion 
 in taking Mme. Vooght " 
 
 "Who, sir?" 
 
 " Mr. Jason," put in Dumergue, 
 " has not heard that the countess 
 and Vooght are married," 
 
 " Yes," said the prince, " they 
 are married, and will settle in 
 America. Vooght is a loss ; but 
 we can't have everything in this 
 world." 
 
 " I hope Herr Vooght will be 
 happy," said I. 
 
 " I should think it very un- 
 likely," said the prince. " But, 
 to return. The princess is very 
 angry with you. She insists " 
 
 " That I should never be pre- 
 sented to her again ? " 
 
 " On the contrary ; that you 
 should come and apologize in 
 person. Only on condition of 
 bringing you again could I make 
 my peace for bringing you once."
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 53 
 
 I was very much surprised, but 
 of course I said I was at the prin- 
 cess* commands. 
 
 " You don't mind meeting us in 
 Paris? We stay there a few 
 days," said Dumergue. 
 
 " You see," added the prince, 
 " Dumergue says there are things 
 called writs, and " 
 
 " I will be in Paris to-morrow, 
 sir." 
 
 " I shall be there to-day," said 
 the prince, rising.
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 XLbc Mission of tbe IRubg 
 
 COULD not imagine 
 why the princess desired 
 to see me. It would 
 have been much more natural to 
 punish the impertinence of which 
 I had no doubt been guilty — I 
 mean, of which it was agreed on 
 all hands that I had been guilty — 
 by merely declining to receive me 
 or see me again. Even the de- 
 sire for a written apology would 
 have been treating me as of too 
 much account. But she wanted 
 to see me. What I had heard of 
 the princess' character utterly for- 
 bade any idea which ought not to 
 have been, but would have been, 
 
 54
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 55 
 
 pleasant to entertain. No ; she 
 clearly wanted me, but what for I 
 could not imagine. 
 
 When I went to claim my audi- 
 ence, the prince was not visible, 
 nar Dumergue either, and I was 
 at once received by the princess 
 alone. She was looking smaller, 
 and more simple and helpless than 
 ever. I also thought her looking 
 prettier, and I enjoyed immensely 
 the pious, severe, forgiving little 
 rebuke which she administered to 
 me. I humbly craved pardon, 
 and had no difficulty in obtaining 
 it. Indeed, she became very gra- 
 cious. 
 
 " You must come to Glotten- 
 berg," she said, " in a few months' 
 time." 
 
 *' To obey Your Royal High- 
 ness' commands will be a delight- 
 ful duty," said I, bowing. 
 
 She rose and stood by the fire,
 
 56 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " toying '* (as the novelists say) 
 with her fan, 
 
 " You seem to be an obliging 
 man, Mr. Jason," she said. " You 
 were ready to oblige Mme. 
 Vooght." 
 
 I made a gesture of half-serious 
 protest. 
 
 " I wonder," she continued, " if 
 you would do me a little service." 
 
 " I shall be most honored if I 
 may hope to be able to," said I. 
 What did she want ? 
 
 She blushed slightly, and, with 
 a nervous laugh, said : 
 
 " It's only a short story. When 
 I was a young girl, I was foolish 
 enough, Mr. Jason, to fall in love, 
 or at least to think I did. There 
 was a young English attache— I 
 know I can rely on your perfect 
 discretion — at my father's court, 
 and he — he forgot the difference 
 between us. He was a man of
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 57 
 
 rank, though. Well, I was foolish 
 enough to accept from him a very 
 valuable ring — a fine ruby — quite 
 a family heirloom. Of course, I 
 never wore it, but I took it. And 
 when I married, I " 
 
 She paused. 
 
 "Your Royal Highness had no 
 opportunity of returning it ? " 
 
 " Exactly. He had left the 
 court. I didn't know where he 
 was, and — and the post was not 
 quite trustworthy." 
 
 " I understand perfectly." 
 
 "I saw in the papers the other 
 day that he was married. Of 
 course I can't keep it. His wife 
 ought to have it — and I dare not 
 — I would prefer not to — send 
 it." 
 
 " I see. You would wish 
 me " 
 
 " To be my messenger. Will 
 you ? "
 
 58 SPORT ROVAL. 
 
 Of course I assented. She 
 went into an adjoining room, and 
 returned with a little morocco 
 case. Opening it, she showed me 
 a magnificent ruby, set in an old 
 gold ring of great beauty. 
 
 " Will you give it him ? " she 
 said. 
 
 "Your Royal Highness has not 
 told me his name? " 
 
 " Lord Daynesborough. You 
 will be able to find him ? " 
 
 " Oh, yes ! " 
 
 " And you will — you ivill be 
 careful, Mr. Jason ? " 
 
 " He shall have it safely in 
 three days. Any message with 
 it, madame ? " 
 
 " No. Yes — just my best wishes 
 for his happiness." 
 
 I bowed and prepared to with- 
 draw. 
 
 " And you must come and tell 
 me "
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 59 
 
 " I will come and make my 
 report." 
 
 " I do not know how to thank 
 you." 
 
 I kissed her hand and bowed 
 myself out, mightily amused, and, 
 maybe, rather touched at the reve- 
 lation of this youthful romance. 
 Somehow such things are always 
 touching, stupid as they are for the 
 most part. It pleased me to find 
 that the little princess was flesh 
 and blood. 
 
 She followed me to the door, 
 and whispered, as I opened it : 
 
 " I have not troubled the prince 
 with the matter." 
 
 " Wives are so considerate," 
 thought I, as I went downstairs. 
 
 On arriving in England, I made 
 inquiries about Lord Daynes- 
 borough. I found that it was 
 seven years since he had abruptly 
 thrown up his post oiatlache,\v\i\\-
 
 60 SPORT ROVAL. 
 
 out cause assigned. After this 
 event, he lived in retirement for 
 some time, and then returned into 
 society. Three months ago he 
 had married Miss Dorothy Cod- 
 rington, a noted beauty, with whom 
 he appeared much in love, and had 
 just returned from his wedding 
 tour and settled down for the sea- 
 son at his house in Curzon Street. 
 Hearing all this, I thought the 
 little princess might have let well 
 alone, and kept her ring ; but her 
 conduct was no business of mine, 
 and I set about fulfilling my com- 
 mission. I needed no one to tell 
 me that Lady Daynesborough had 
 better, as the princess would have 
 phrased it, not be troubled with 
 the matter. 
 
 I had no difficulty in meeting 
 the young lord. In spite of the 
 times we live in, a Jason is still a 
 welcome guest in most houses, and
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 6l 
 
 before long he and I were sitting 
 side by side at Mrs. Closmadene's 
 table. The ladies had withdrawnj 
 and we were about to follow them 
 upstairs. Daynesborough was a 
 frank, pleasant fellow, and scorned 
 the affectation of concealing his 
 happiness in the married state. In 
 fact, he seemed to take a fancy to 
 me, and told me that he would like 
 me to come and see him at home. 
 " Then," he said, " you will 
 cease to distrust marriage." 
 
 " I'shall be most glad to come," 
 I answered, " more especially as I 
 want a talk with you." 
 
 " Do you ? About what ? " 
 " I have a message for you." 
 " You have a message for me, 
 Mr. Jason ? Forgive me, but from 
 whom ? " 
 
 I leaned over toward him, and 
 whispered, *' The Princess Ferdi- 
 nand of Glottenberg."
 
 62 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 The man turned as white as a 
 sheet, and, gripping my hand, said 
 under his breath : 
 
 " Hush ! Surely you — you 
 haven't — she hasn't sent it ?" 
 
 " Yes, she has," said I. 
 
 " Good God ! After seven 
 years ! " 
 
 General Closmadene rose from 
 his chair. Daynesborough drank 
 off a very large" white-wash," and 
 added : 
 
 " Come to dinner to-morrow — 
 eight o'clock. We shall be alone ; 
 and, for Heaven's sake, say 
 nothing." 
 
 I said nothing, and I went to 
 dinner, carrying the ruby ring in 
 my breast-pocket. But I began 
 to wonder whether the little prin- 
 cess was quite as childlike as she 
 seemed. 
 
 Lady Daynesborough dined with 
 us. She was a tall, slender girl ;
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 63 
 
 very handsome, and, to judge 
 from her appearance, not wanting 
 in resolution and character. She 
 was obviously devoted to her hus- 
 band, and he treated her with an 
 affectionate deference that seemed 
 to me almost overdone. It was 
 Hke the manner of a man who is 
 remgrseful for having wounded 
 someone he loves. 
 
 When she left us, he returned 
 to the table, and, with a weary 
 sigh, said : 
 
 " Now, Mr. Jason, I am ready." 
 
 " My task is a very short one," 
 said I. " I have no message except 
 to convey to you the princess' 
 best wishes for your happiness on 
 your marriage, of which she has 
 recently heard, and to give you 
 the ring. Here it is." 
 
 " Have women no mercy ? " 
 groaned he.
 
 64 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 "I beg your pardon ? " said I, 
 rather startled. 
 
 *' She waits seven years — seven 
 years without a word or a sign — 
 and then sends it ! And why ? " 
 
 " Because you're married." 
 
 " Exactly. Isn't it— devilish ? " 
 
 " Not at all. It's strictly cor- 
 rect. She said herself that your 
 wife was the proper person to have 
 the ring now." 
 
 He looked at me with a bitter 
 smile. 
 
 " My dear Jason," he said, " I 
 have been flattering your acumen 
 at the expense of your morality. 
 I thought you knew what this 
 meant." 
 
 " No more than what the prin- 
 cess told me." 
 
 " No, of course not, or you 
 would not have brought it. When 
 we parted, I gave her the ring, 
 and she made me promise, on my
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 65 
 
 honor as a gentleman, to come to 
 her the moment she sent the ring — 
 to leave everything and come to 
 her, and take her away. And I 
 promised." 
 
 " And she has never sent till 
 now?" 
 
 " I never married till now," he 
 said bitterly. " What's the matter 
 with her ? " 
 
 "Nothing that I know of." 
 
 He rose, went to a writing table, 
 and came back with a fat paper 
 book — a Continental Bradshavv. 
 
 " You're not going ? " I ex- 
 claimed. 
 
 " Oh, yes ! I promised." 
 
 "You promised something to 
 your wife too, didn't you ? " 
 
 " I can't argue it. I must go 
 and see what she wants. I — I 
 hope she'll let me come back." 
 
 I tried to dissuade him. I know 
 I told him he was a fool ; I think I
 
 66 SPORT ROVAL. 
 
 told him he was a scoundrel. I 
 was not sure of the second, but 
 I thought it wisest to pretend that 
 I was. 
 
 " I hope it will be all right," he 
 said, again and again ; " but, right 
 or wrong, I must go." 
 
 I took an immediate resolution, 
 
 " I suppose you'll go by the 
 eleven-o'clock train to Paris to- 
 morrow ? " 
 
 " Yes," he said. 
 
 " Well, you're wrong. Good- 
 night." 
 
 At twelve o'clock the next day 
 I called in Curzon Street, and 
 sent in my card to Lady Daynes- 
 borough. 
 
 She saw me at once. I expect 
 that she fancied I had something 
 to do with her husband's sudden 
 departure. She was looking pale 
 and dispirited, and I rather thought 
 she had been crying. Her hus-
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 6? 
 
 band, it appeared, had told her 
 that he had to go to Paris on busi- 
 ness, and would be back in three 
 days. 
 
 " He didn't tell you what it 
 was?" 
 
 " No. Some public affairs, I 
 understood." 
 
 " Lady Daynesborough," said I, 
 " you hardly know me, but my 
 name tells you I am a gentleman." 
 
 She looked at me in surprise. 
 
 " Why, of course, Mr. Jason. 
 But what has that to do " 
 
 " I can't explain. But, if you 
 are wise, you will come with me to 
 Paris." 
 
 " Go with you to Paris ! Oh ! 
 is he in danger ? " 
 
 " In danger of making a fool of 
 himself. Now, I'll say nothing 
 more. Will you come ?" 
 
 " It will look very strange." 
 
 " Very."
 
 68 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " In fact — most unusual." 
 
 "Most." 
 
 " Won't there be a — a — scandal, 
 if " 
 
 " Sure to be. Will you come ? " 
 
 " You must have a reason," she 
 said. " I will come." 
 
 We started that evening, nine 
 hours after My Lord, going sep- 
 arately to the station, and meet- 
 ing on the boat. All through the 
 journey she scarcely spoke a word. 
 When we were nearing Paris, she 
 asked : 
 
 " Do you know where he is ? " 
 
 " No ; but I can trace him," I 
 replied. 
 
 So I could. I bought a paper, 
 and found that Prince and Princess 
 Ferdinard had, the day before, 
 proceeded from Paris en route for 
 Glottenberg. Of course Daynes- 
 borough had followed them. 
 " We must go on," I said.
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 69 
 
 " Why ? " 
 
 " Because your husband has 
 gone on." 
 
 She obeyed me like a lamb ; 
 but there was a look about her 
 pretty mouth that made me doubt 
 if Daynesborough would find her 
 like a lamb. 
 
 We went to the principal hotel 
 in Glottenberg. I introduced 
 Lady Daynesborough as my 
 sister, Miss Jacynth Jason, and 
 stated that she was in weak 
 health, and would keep her room 
 for the present. Then I sallied 
 forth, intent on discovering Du- 
 mergue ; he would be able to 
 post me up in the state of affairs. 
 
 On my way, I met the king tak- 
 ing his daily drive. He was a 
 dour, sour-looking, pasty-faced 
 creature, and I quite understood 
 that he would fail to appreciate 
 many of my prince's characteris-
 
 70 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 tics. A priest sat by him, and 
 a bystander told me it was the 
 king's confessor (the Glottenberg 
 family are all of the old church), 
 and added that the king's con- 
 fessor was no mean power in the 
 state. I asked him where M. 
 Dumergue was lodged, and he di- 
 rected me to Prince Ferdinand's 
 palace, which stood in a pleasant 
 park in the suburbs of the town. 
 
 I found Dumergue in a melan- 
 choly condition, though he pro- 
 fessed to be much cheered by the 
 sight of me. 
 
 " My dear fellow," he said, 
 " you, if anybody, can get us out 
 of this." 
 
 " I never knew such people," 
 said I. " What's up now ? " 
 
 "There has been a— an ex- 
 plosion. Did you ever hear of 
 Daynesborough ? " 
 
 I said no, and Dumergue told
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 71 
 
 me of the princess' former pen- 
 chaiit for him. 
 
 " Well ? " said I. 
 
 " Well, she's invited him here, 
 and he's now in the palace. You 
 may imagine the prince's feelings." 
 
 " I suppose the prince can turn 
 him out ?" 
 
 Dumergue shook his head dole- 
 fully. 
 
 " She holds the trumps," he 
 answered. "Jason, she's a clever 
 woman. We thought we had 
 hoodwinked her. When Daynes- 
 borough turned up, looking, I'm 
 bound to say, very sheepish, the 
 prince was really quite annoyed. 
 He told the princess that she must 
 send him away. She refused 
 flatly. ' Then I shall consult my 
 brother,' says the prince. ' I 
 shall consult the king too,' said 
 the princess. ' It's indecent,' said 
 he. * It's not as bad as taking my
 
 72 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 ladies to masked balls in disguise,' 
 she answered. 'Oh, you think 
 you imposed on me — you and 
 that clumsy young animal (forgive 
 me, my dear fellow), Jason. I 
 am not an idiot. I knew all the 
 time. And now the king will 
 know too — unless Lord Daynes- 
 borough stays just as long as I 
 like.' " 
 
 " Confound her ! " said I. 
 
 " There it is," he went on. 
 " The prince is furious, the prin- 
 cess triumphant, and Daynes- 
 borough in possession." 
 
 " What does he mean to do ? " 
 
 He shrugged his shoulders. 
 
 " Who can tell ? She's a little 
 devil. Fancy pretending to be 
 deceived, and then turning on us 
 like this ! You should have 
 heard her describe you, my 
 boy ! " and Dumergue chuckled 
 in sad pleasure.
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 73 
 
 I object to being ridiculed, 
 especially by women. I deter- 
 mined to take a hand in the 
 game. I wondered if they knew 
 that Daynesborough was mar- 
 ried. 
 
 " I suppose this young Daynes- 
 borough enjoys himself ?" 
 
 " Well, he ought to. He's got 
 nothing to lose ; but he seems 
 a melancholy, glum creature. I 
 think he must be one of the king's 
 kidney." 
 
 " Or married, perhaps ? " I sug- 
 gested airily. 
 
 " Oh, no ! She wouldn't have 
 him here, if he were married." 
 
 I saw that Dumergue did not 
 yet appreciate the princess in 
 whose household he had the 
 honor to serve. 
 
 " She won't compromise herself, 
 I suppose?" 
 
 " Not she ! " he replied regret-
 
 74 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 fully. '* She may compromise 
 the prince." 
 
 I rebuked him for his cynicism, 
 and promised to consider and let 
 him know if anything occurred to 
 me. My hope lay in Daynes- 
 borough. I could see that he 
 was galant malgre lui, and I 
 thought I could persuade him 
 that he had done all that his mis- 
 taken promise fairly entailed on 
 him ; or, if I could not convince 
 him, I had a suspicion that his 
 wife might, could, and would,' in 
 a very peremptory fashion, if I 
 brought about an encounter be- 
 tween them, I was full of eager- 
 ness, for, apart from my zeal 
 in the cause of morality and 
 domestic happiness, I did not 
 approve of being called a clumsy 
 young animal. It was neither 
 true nor witty ; and surely abuse 
 ought to be one or the other, if it
 
 SPORT ROVAL. 75 
 
 is to be distinguished from mere 
 vulgar scurrility. 
 
 I have been told, by those who 
 know the place, that Glottenberg 
 is not, as a rule, a very exciting 
 residence. But for the next four- 
 and- twenty hours I, at least, had 
 no reason to grumble at a lack of 
 incidents. 
 
 The play began, if I may so 
 express myself, by the princess 
 sending for the doctor. The 
 doctor, having heard from the 
 princess what she wanted to do, 
 told her what she ought to do ; 
 of course I speak from conjec- 
 ture. He prescribed a visit to 
 her country villa for a week or 
 two, plenty of fresh air, complete 
 repose, and freedom from worry. 
 Dumergue told me that the prin° 
 cess considered that the terms of 
 this prescription entailed a tem- 
 porary separation from her hus-
 
 76 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 band, and that the prince had 
 agreed to remain in Glottenberg, 
 The princess started for her villa 
 at twelve o'clock on Wednesday 
 morning. The distance was but 
 fifteen miles, and she traveled by 
 road in her own carriage, although 
 the main line of railway from 
 Glottenberg to Paris passed with- 
 in two miles of her destination. 
 
 At one o'clock Lord Daynes- 
 borough was received by Prince 
 Ferdinand, having requested an 
 interview for the purpose of tak- 
 ing his leave, as he left for Paris 
 by the five o'clock train. Every- 
 body knew that the prince and 
 Daynesborough were not on cor- 
 dial terms ; but this fact hardly 
 explained Daynesborough's ex- 
 treme embarrassment and obvi- 
 ous discomfort during the brief 
 conversation. Dumergue escorted 
 him from the prince's presence.
 
 SPORT ROVAL. 77 
 
 and said that he was shaking Hke 
 an aspen-leaf or an ill-made 
 blanc-mange. 
 
 At three o'clock I went to the 
 hotel, and had an interview with 
 Lady Daynesborough. I then 
 returned to the palace, and made 
 a communication to the prince. 
 The prince was distinctly per- 
 turbed. 
 
 " I never thought she would go 
 so far," he said. "It's not that 
 she cares twopence about Daynes- 
 borough." 
 
 " To what, then, sir, do you 
 attribute " 
 
 " Temper ! all temper, Mr. 
 Jason ! She is angry about that 
 wretched ball, and she wants to 
 anger me." 
 
 " Her Royal Highness is, how- 
 ever, giving a handle to her 
 enemies," I ventured to sug- 
 gest.
 
 78 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " She must come back to-night," 
 said he. " I won't be made to 
 look like a fool." 
 
 '' My plan will, I hope, dispose 
 of Lord Daynesborough. If so. 
 Your Royal Highness might join 
 the princess." 
 
 " I shan't do anything of the 
 sort. I shall have her brought 
 back." 
 
 Apparently there was a reserve 
 of resolution latent somewhere in 
 this indolent gentleman. 
 
 " Will you go yourself, sir ? " 
 
 " No. You must do it." 
 
 "I, sir? Surely, M. Du- 
 mergue " 
 
 " Dumergue's afraid of her. 
 Will you bring her back?" 
 
 "Supposing she won't come?" 
 
 " I didn't request you to ask 
 her to come. I requested you to 
 bring her." 
 
 I looked at him inquiringly.
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 79 
 
 He inhaled a mouthful of smoke, 
 and added, with a nod : 
 
 "Yes, if necessary." 
 
 "Will Your Royal Highness 
 hold me harmless from the king — 
 or the law." 
 
 "No. I can't. Will you do 
 it?" 
 
 " With pleasure, sir." 
 
 At ten minutes to five, Lady 
 Daynesborough, heavily veiled, 
 and I drove up to the station in a 
 hired cab, and hid ourselves in 
 the third-class waiting room. At 
 five minutes to five. Lord Daynes- 
 borough arrived. He wore a scarf 
 up to his nose, and a cap down to 
 his eyes, and walked to the station, 
 unattended and without luggage. 
 He got into a second-class smok- 
 ing carriage — one of the long 
 compartments divided into sepa- 
 rate boxes by intervening par- 
 titions reaching within a yard of
 
 8o 
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 the roof, a gang-way running 
 down the middle. On seeing him 
 enter, I caught the guard, gave 
 him twenty marks, and told him to 
 admit no one except myself and 
 my companion into that carriage. 
 Then I hauled Lady Daynes- 
 borough in, and we sat down at 
 the opposite end to that occupied 
 by her husband. 
 
 The train started. It was only 
 five-and-twenty minutes' run to 
 the station for the princess' villa. 
 There was no time to lose. 
 
 " Are you ready ? " I whispered. 
 
 " Yes," she answered, her voice 
 trembling a little. 
 
 We rose, walked along, and sat 
 down opposite to Lord Daynes- 
 borough. He was looking out of 
 the window, although it was dark, 
 and did not turn. 
 
 " Lord Daynesborough," said I, 
 " you have forgotten your ticket."
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 8 1 
 
 And I held out a through ticket 
 to Paris. 
 
 He started as if he had been 
 shot. 
 
 " Who the devil " he began. 
 
 " Jason ! " 
 
 " Yes," said I. " Here's your 
 ticket." 
 
 " I thought you were in Eng- 
 land," he gasped. 
 
 " No, I am here." 
 
 " Spying on my actions ? " 
 
 " Acquainted with them." 
 
 " I'll have no interference, sir. 
 If you know me, you will kindly 
 be silent, and leave me to myself." 
 
 Time was passing. 
 
 " You are going to Paris with 
 this lady," said I. 
 
 " You're insolent, sir — you and 
 your " 
 
 " Don't say what you'll regret. 
 She's your wife." 
 
 Well, of course he was very
 
 82 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 much in the wrong, and looked 
 uncommonly ridiculous to boot. 
 Still, the way he collapsed was 
 rather craven. I withdrew for 
 five minutes. Then I returned, 
 and held out the ticket again. He 
 took it. 
 
 *' If you will leave us for five 
 minutes, Lady Daynesborough ? " 
 
 She went into the next box. 
 Then I said : 
 
 " Now, we've only ten minutes. 
 We're going to change clothes. 
 Be quick." 
 
 I took off my coat. 
 
 " By God, I'll not stand this ! " 
 
 And he rose. 
 
 In a moment I had him by the 
 collar, and was presenting a pistol 
 at his head. 
 
 " No nonsense ! " I whispered. 
 " Off with them ! " 
 
 He might have known I would 
 not shoot him in his wife's pres-
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 83 
 
 ence ; but I could and would 
 have undressed him with my own 
 hands. Perhaps he guessed this. 
 
 "Let me go," he muttered. 
 
 I released him, and he took off 
 his coat. 
 
 The train began to slacken 
 speed. I called to Lady Daynes- 
 borough, who rejoined us. 
 
 " You have fulfilled your prom- 
 mise," said I to the young man. 
 " And," I added, turning to her, 
 *' I have fulfilled mine. Good- 
 night ! " 
 
 I opened the door, and jumped 
 out as we entered the station. I 
 stood waiting till the train started 
 again, but Lord Daynesborough 
 remained in his place. I wonder 
 what passed on that journey. She 
 was a plucky girl, and I can only 
 trust she gave him what he de- 
 served. At any rate, he never, so 
 far as I heard, ran away again.
 
 »4 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 I asked my way to the villa, 
 and reached it after half an hour's 
 walking. I did not go in by the 
 lodge gates, but climbed the 
 palings, and reached the door 
 by way of the shrubberies. I 
 knocked softly. A man opened 
 the door instantly. He must have 
 been waiting. 
 
 " Is it Milord ?" he said in 
 French. 
 
 " Yes," I answered, entering 
 rapidly. 
 
 " You are expected, Milord." 
 
 I did not know his voice, and 
 it was dark in the passage. 
 
 "I am wet," I said. " Take me 
 to a fire." 
 
 " There is one in the pan- 
 try," he answered, leading the 
 way. 
 
 We reached the pantry, and he 
 turned to light the gas. 
 
 Looking at me in the full blaze,
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 85 
 
 he started back, then scruthiized 
 me closely, then exclaimed : 
 
 " What ? You are not " 
 
 " Oh, yes, I am ! I am Lord 
 DaynesboroLigh." 
 
 " It's a lie. You are a robber — 
 a " 
 
 " I am Lord Daynesborough 
 — Lord Daynesborough — Lord 
 Daynesborough." 
 
 At each repetition I advanced 
 a step nearer ; at the last I pro- 
 duced my trusty pistol, at the same 
 time holding out a bank-note in 
 the other hand. 
 
 He took the note. 
 
 "You will stay here," I said, 
 "for the next two hours. You 
 will not come out, whatever hap- 
 pens. Is there anyone else in the 
 house ? " 
 
 " One maid. Milord, and a man 
 in the stables." 
 
 " Where is the maid ? "
 
 86 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " In the kitchen." 
 
 " Is the man within hearing ? " 
 
 " No." 
 
 " Good ! Is the princess up- 
 stairs ? " 
 
 "She is, Milord." 
 
 I made him direct me to the 
 room, and left him. I thought I 
 would neglect the maid, and go 
 straight to work. I went up to 
 the door to which I had been 
 directed, and knocked. 
 
 " Come in ! " said the gentle, 
 childlike voice. 
 
 I went in. The princess was 
 lying on a sofa by the fire, reading 
 a paper-covered book. She turned 
 her head with a careless glance. 
 
 " Ah, you have come ! Well, I 
 almost hoped you would be afraid. 
 I really don't want you." 
 
 This reception would probably 
 have annoyed Lord Daynes- 
 borough.
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 87 
 
 " Why should I be afraid ? " 
 I asked, mimicking Daynesbor- 
 ough's voice as well as I could. 
 
 Meanwhile I quietly locked the 
 door. 
 
 " Why, because of your wife. I 
 know you tremble before her." 
 
 I advanced to the sofa. 
 
 '■'■ I have no wife," I said ; " and, 
 seeing what I do, I thank God 
 for it." 
 
 She leaped up with a scream, 
 loud and shrill. 
 
 A door opposite me opened, and 
 a girl rushing in, crying : 
 
 " Madame ! " 
 
 " Go back \ " I said. " Go 
 back ! " 
 
 She paused, looking bewildered. 
 I walked quickly up to her. 
 
 " Go back and keep quiet ; " 
 and, taking her by the shoulders, 
 I pushed her back into the next 
 room.
 
 88 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 The princess rushed to the other 
 door, and, on finding it locked, 
 screamed again. 
 
 " Nobody," I remarked, " should 
 embark on these things who has 
 not good nerves." 
 
 She recognized me now. Her 
 fright had been purely physical — 
 I suppose she thought I was a 
 burglar. When she knew me, she 
 came forward in a dignified way, 
 sat down on the sofa, and said : 
 
 " Explain your conduct, sir, 
 if you are in a condition to do 
 so." 
 
 " I am sober, madame," said I ; 
 " and I have two messages for 
 you." 
 
 " You present yourself in a 
 strange way. Pray be brief," and 
 she glanced anxiously at the 
 clock, 
 
 " Time does not press, madame," 
 said I. " Nobody will come."
 
 SPORT ROVAL. 89 
 
 " Nobody will What do 
 
 you mean ? I expect nobody." 
 
 " Precisely, madaine — and no- 
 body will come." 
 
 Her ivory fan broke between 
 her fingers with a sharp click. 
 
 " What do you want ?" she said. 
 
 *' To deliver my messages." 
 
 "Well?" 
 
 " First, Lord Daynesborough 
 offers his apologies for being 
 compelled to leave for Paris with- 
 out tendering his farewell." 
 
 She turned very red, and then 
 very white. But she restrained 
 herself. 
 
 " And the other ? " 
 
 ** His Royal Highness requests 
 that you will avail yourself of my 
 escort for an immediate return to 
 Glottenberg." 
 
 " And his reasons ? " 
 
 " Oh, madame, as if I should 
 inquire them 1"
 
 9° SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " You are merely insolent, sir. 
 I shall not go to-night." 
 
 " His Royal Highness was very 
 urgent." 
 
 She looked at me for a moment. 
 
 "Why had Lord Daynesbor- 
 ough to leave so suddenly ?" she 
 asked suspiciously. 
 
 " His wife wished it." 
 
 " Did she know where he was ? " 
 
 " Apparently. She followed 
 him to Glottenberg. She arrived' 
 there yesterday." 
 
 " Now I see — now I under- 
 stand ! I had to deal with a 
 traitor." 
 
 " You must bestow trust, if you 
 desire not to be deceived, ma- 
 dame. You dared to use me as 
 a go-between." 
 
 " You had had practice in the 
 trade." 
 
 The princess had a turn for 
 repartee. I could not have set
 
 SPORT ROYAL. QI 
 
 her right without quite an argu- 
 ment. I evaded the point. 
 
 "And yet Your Royal Highness 
 thought me a clumsy animal ! " 
 
 " Oh," she said, with a slight 
 laugh, " it's wounded a?nourpropre, 
 is it ? Come, Mr. Jason, I apolo- 
 gize. You are all that is brilliant 
 and delightful — and English." 
 
 " Your Royal Highness is too 
 good." 
 
 "And now, Mr. Jason, your 
 device being accomplished, I 
 suppose I may bid you good- 
 night?" 
 
 " I regret, madame, that I must 
 press the prince's request on your 
 notice." 
 
 She sighed her usual impatient, 
 petulant little sigh. 
 
 " Oh, you are tiresome ! Pray 
 go!" 
 
 " I cannot go without you, 
 madame."
 
 g2 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " I am not going — and my 
 establishment does not admit of 
 my entertaining gentlemen," she 
 said, with smihng effrontery. 
 
 " Your Royal Highness refuses 
 to allow me to attend you to 
 Glottenberg ? " 
 
 " I order you to leave this 
 room." 
 
 " Finally refuses ? " 
 
 "Go." 
 
 " Then I must add that I am 
 commissioned, if necessary, to 
 convey your Royal Highness to 
 Glottenberg." 
 
 "To convey me ? " 
 
 I bowed. 
 
 " You dare to threaten me ? " 
 
 " I follow my instructions. 
 Will you come, madame, or " 
 
 "Well?" 
 
 " Will you be taken ? " 
 
 I was not surprised at her vex- 
 ation. Dumergue had, in his
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 93 
 
 haste, called her " a little devil." 
 She looked it then. 
 
 "You mean," she asked slowly, 
 " that you will use force ? " 
 
 I bowed. 
 
 " Then I yield," she said, after 
 a pause. 
 
 I called the maid, and told her 
 to order the carriage in five 
 minutes. The silence was un- 
 broken till it came round. The 
 princess went into her room, and 
 returned in cloak and hat, carry- 
 ing a large muff. She was 
 smiling. 
 
 " Ah, Mr. Jason, what can a 
 woman do, against men ? I am 
 ready. We will go alone. The 
 servants can follow." 
 
 I handed her into the coach, 
 
 ordering the coachman to drive 
 
 fast. He was the only man with 
 
 us, and we were alone inside. 
 
 I began, perhaps stupidly, to
 
 94 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 apologize for my peremptory 
 conduct. The princess smiled 
 amiably. 
 
 " I like a man of resolution," 
 she said, edging, I thought, a 
 trifle nearer me, her hands nest- 
 ling in her muff. 
 
 Apparently she was going to 
 try the effect of amiability. I 
 was prepared for this. She would 
 not tempt me in that way. 
 
 " Your Royal Highnes is most 
 forgiving." 
 
 " Oh, that is my way," she an- 
 swered, with the kindest possible 
 glance, and she came nearer still. 
 
 " You are a most generous 
 foe." 
 
 She turned to me with a daz- 
 zling smile. 
 
 " Don't sa.y /(?e," she said, with 
 a pretty lingering on the last 
 word. And as she said it, I felt a 
 knife driven hard into my ribs,
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 95 
 
 and the muff dropped to the 
 ground. 
 
 " God in heaven ! " I cried. 
 
 The princess flung herself into 
 the corner of the carriage. 
 
 "Ha — ha— ha! Ha — ha- 
 ha ! " she laughed, merrily, musi- 
 cally, fiendishly. 
 
 I tried to clutch her ; I believe I 
 should have killed her, I was half 
 mad. But the blood was oozing 
 fast from the wound — only the 
 knife itself held my life in. 
 Things danced before my eyes, 
 and my hands fell on my 
 lap. 
 
 The carriage stopped, the door 
 opened, and the coachman ap- 
 peared. It was all like a dream 
 to me. 
 
 " Take his feet," said the prin- 
 cess. The man obeyed, and be- 
 tween them they lifted, or, rather, 
 hauled and pushed, me out of the
 
 q6 sport royal. 
 
 carriage, and laid me by the road- 
 side. I was almost in a faint, and 
 the last thing I was conscious of 
 was a pretty, mocking mouth, 
 which said : 
 
 " Won't you escort me, Mr. 
 Jason ? " — and then added to the 
 coachman, " To Glottenberg — 
 quick ! " 
 
 I did not die. I was picked 
 up by some good folk, and 
 well tended. Dumergue arrived 
 and looked after me, and in a 
 couple of weeks I was on my 
 legs. 
 
 " Now for Glottenberg! " said I. 
 
 Dumergue shook his head. 
 
 " You won't be admitted to the 
 town.'* 
 
 " Not admitted ! " 
 
 " No. They have made it up — 
 for the time. There must be no 
 scandal. Come, Jason ; surely 
 you see that ?"
 
 SPORT ROYAL. 97 
 
 " She tried to murder me." 
 
 " Oh, quite, quite ! " said he. 
 "But you can't prosecute her." 
 
 "And I am to be turned adrift 
 by the prince ? " 
 
 " What use would it be to re- 
 turn ? No doubt you annoyed 
 her very much." 
 
 " I wish you had undertaken 
 the job." 
 
 " I know her. I should have 
 ridden outside." 
 
 " It is, then, the prince's wish 
 that I should not return ? " 
 
 " Yes. But he charges me to 
 say that he will never forget your 
 friendly services." 
 
 I was disgusted. But I would 
 force myself on no man. 
 
 " Then I'll go home." 
 
 " That will be much best," he 
 answered, with revolting alacrity, 
 
 " I say, Dumcrgue, what does 
 the princess say about me ? "
 
 98 SPORT ROYAL. 
 
 " She laughs every time your 
 name is mentioned, and " 
 
 " The devil take her ! " 
 
 " She says you may keep the 
 knife ! " 
 
 I have it still, a little tortoise- 
 shell-handled thing, with a 
 sharp — a very sharp — point. On 
 the blade is engraved, in German 
 letters, " Sophia." It is a pretty 
 toy, and in its delicacy, its tini- 
 ness, its elegance, its seeming 
 harmlessness, and its very sharp 
 point, it reminds me much of 
 Princess Ferdinand of Glotten- 
 berg.
 
 A TRAGEDY IN OUTLINE. 
 
 Dear Mr. Brown ; * * * * 
 Yours sincerely, 
 
 M. Robinson. 
 
 II. 
 
 My Dear Mr. Brown ; * * * * 
 Always yours very sincerely, 
 
 Minnie Robinson. 
 
 III. 
 
 My Dear Jack (!) : * * * * 
 Yours always, 
 
 Minnie Robinson. 
 
 99
 
 lOO A TRAGEDY IN OUTLINE. 
 
 IV. 
 
 My Dearest Jack ; * * * * 
 
 Yours, 
 
 Minnie. 
 
 V. 
 
 My Darling Jack ; * * * * 
 Lovingly, your 
 
 MiN. 
 
 VI. 
 
 My Dearest Jack ; * * * * 
 
 Lovingly, 
 
 Minnie. 
 
 VIL 
 
 My Dear Jack ; * * * * 
 With love, 
 
 Yours, 
 Minnie.
 
 A TRAGEDY IN OUTLINE. lOI 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Dear Jack : * * * * 
 Ever yours, 
 
 Minnie Robinson. 
 
 IX. 
 
 My Dear Mr. Brown : * * * * 
 Your sincere friend, 
 
 Minnie Robinson. 
 
 Dear Mr. Brown : * * * * 
 Yours sincerely. 
 
 M. Robinson. 
 
 XI. 
 
 Silence.
 
 A MALAPROPOS PARENT. 
 
 OUNG Mr. Pippitt had 
 a father somewhere in 
 ij America. Everyone who 
 knew young Mr. Pippitt knew that; 
 for he had often spoken of his 
 father, of the fortune he was mak- 
 ing, and of the Uberal presents he 
 sent home. Then came a time 
 when young Mr. Pippitt said less 
 about his father and less about the 
 presents. Thus it was that people 
 had almost forgotten the existence 
 of old Mr. Pippitt, when it was re- 
 called to their memories in a very 
 startling and tragical way. Old 
 Mr. Pippitt had landed in England 
 and was on his way to London,
 
 A MALAPROPOS PARENT. I03 
 
 when he was killed in a great 
 railway disaster. His name, 
 discovered from a letter in his 
 pocket, was published ; and young 
 Mr. Pippitt flew to the scene. 
 The body was not mangled or 
 disfigured, and after one moment 
 of extreme agitation the bereaved 
 son informed the official who had 
 led him to where the dead man 
 lay that it was indeed his father. 
 His evidence before the coroner 
 put the matter beyond doubt, 
 Mr, Pippitt buried his father, as- 
 sumed deep mourning, and wrote 
 to the company's solicitors. Re- 
 pugnant as it was to him to ap- 
 pear to make money out of the 
 unhappy occurrence, the loss of 
 a rich and liberal parent was a 
 matter which no struggling young 
 man could, in justice to him- 
 self, submit to without compensa- 
 tion.
 
 I04 A MALAPROPOS PARENT. 
 
 -Railway companies, having an 
 extensive experience of humanity, 
 are prone to skepticism ; and very 
 many inquiries were made as to the 
 life, doings, profession, and profits 
 of old Mr. Pippitt, and especially 
 as to his alleged remittances to 
 his son. That gentleman stood 
 the fire of questions very success- 
 fully ; he had letters from his 
 father up to within six months of 
 the accident, and he proved the 
 receipt of very considerable yearly 
 sums, in each of the four years 
 during which his father had been 
 absent. In face of this evidence, 
 the matter in issue reduced itself 
 to a difference of opinion between 
 the company and young Mr. Pip- 
 pitt : first, as to the probability 
 of old Mr. Pippitt continuing to 
 make money ; secondly, as to the 
 probability of his continuing to 
 share what he made with his son.
 
 A MALAPROPOS PARENT. I05 
 
 More concretely still, the company, 
 without prejudice, offered two 
 thousand pounds, and Mr. Pippitt, 
 without prejudice, asked seven 
 thousand ; whereupon the case 
 was entered for trial. 
 
 Mr. Naylor, the company's 
 counsel, declared that young Mr. 
 Pippitt was one of the best wit- 
 nesses he had ever seen. His 
 demeanor was excellent, his facts 
 irrefragable, his memory neither 
 unnaturally bad nor suspiciously 
 good. The last letter he pro- 
 duced from his father inclosed a 
 draft for three hundred pounds, 
 and announced the writer's return 
 on a business visit by the next 
 mail but one. By that mail, a 
 gentleman of the name of Pippitt 
 had crossed the ocean, and had, 
 presumably, taken the train on 
 landing, and met his death in the 
 accident. Mr. Naylor felt his
 
 I06 A MALAPROPOS PAREST. 
 
 case was so bad that he almost 
 charged young Mr. Pippitt with 
 direct perjury, and twisted up a 
 note to Mr. Budge, who was on 
 the other side, offering four thou- 
 sand pounds and costs. Mr, 
 Budge answered that he must con- 
 sult his client, and that he would 
 wait till the end of the plaintiff's 
 evidence. j\Ir. Naylor nodded, 
 and redoubled his insinuations of 
 an unscrupulous conspiracy. 
 
 Mr. Budge rose to re-examine 
 with a smile on his face. Mr. 
 Pippitt said he had no reason to 
 anticipate a fallingoff in his 
 father's business ; it was well 
 established : nor in his father's 
 liberality ; his father had always 
 led him to suppose that he would 
 provide for him. Yes, there was 
 a strong — yes, a very strong, 
 affection between them. Here 
 Mr. Pippitt's voice faltered ; the
 
 A MALAPROPOS PA PENT. I07 
 
 judge nodded sympathetically ; 
 and the foreman of the jury 
 wrote ";^5,ooo ? " on a slip of 
 paper and passed it round the 
 box. 
 
 That artistic falter produced 
 another effect also. The gang- 
 ways of the court were crowded 
 with the usual throng of idle folk, 
 assembled to hear Mr. Naylor's 
 cross-examination ; and as the 
 plaintiff bore witness to the bonds 
 of love which bound him to his 
 father there came from the re- 
 cesses of the crowd a voice, which 
 said : 
 
 " That there is ! Let me 
 through ! Who's saying my boy 
 doesn't love his old father ? " 
 
 The group of people parted ; 
 and an elderly man came to the 
 front, advancing in an uncertain, 
 apologetic manner. 
 
 " Silence ! silence ! " cried the
 
 I08 A MALAPROPOS PARENT. 
 
 usher, a world of pained indigna- 
 tion in his accents. 
 
 " You mustn't disturb the court, 
 sir ! " thundered the judge, 
 
 " I came to speak a word for 
 Joe. I was passing, and dropped 
 in, and, seeing Joe, I made bold 
 to speak. He's been a good son, 
 has Joe." 
 
 The judge looked appealingly 
 at counsel. 
 
 " Who is Joe, and who is this 
 person ? " And getting no an- 
 swer, he turned to the plaintiff. 
 Young Mr. Pippitt met his eye 
 with an uneasy smile. 
 
 " I haven't the least idea, my 
 lord," he said. 
 
 The judge looked at the 
 writ. 
 
 ** Your name is Joseph ? " he 
 asked. 
 
 " No, it — yes — that is, certainly, 
 my lord."
 
 A MALAPROPOS PARENT. IO9 
 
 " You don't seem very sure, 
 sir," remarked the judge ; and he 
 added, addressing the intruder, 
 " Who are you, sir ? " 
 
 The old man seemed in a nerv- 
 ous and broken-down condition ; 
 but he stammered out, " He's my 
 son, my son, ray lord." 
 
 " It's a lie," cried young Mr. 
 Pippitt. 
 
 " Held your tongue till you're 
 asked to speak," said his lordship 
 snappishly. " I want to hear what 
 this man has to say." 
 
 The old man had much to say : 
 much of young Mr. Pippitt's virtue, 
 industry, and much of his own for- 
 tunes, misfortunes, and wrongs. 
 He usurped the functions of both 
 lawyer and witness, and all the 
 ■court listened to him. 
 
 •' I'm glad to be here, gentle- 
 men," he said — " glad to be here. 
 I thought I was never going to
 
 no A MALAPROPOS PARENT. 
 
 get out of that cell they put me in, 
 not for long years. But here I 
 am, Joe, thank God ! " 
 
 " Who put you in a cell ? " asked 
 the judge. 
 
 "I'm telling you as fast as I 
 can," answered the old man petu- 
 lantly. "I'd just written to Joe 
 to send him a bit of money and 
 tell him to look out for me, when 
 they brought a charge of fraud 
 against me — against me, a respect- 
 able merchant. And I was tried : 
 tried and found guilty — unjustly, 
 my lord — and sentenced to five 
 years. To think of it ! They 
 didn't know me out in Louisiana ; 
 no east-coast jury would have 
 convicted." 
 
 " Why didn't they know you ? " 
 
 " I wasn't going to have my 
 name known. I called myself 
 Brown ; and they convicted me — 
 as I wrote to you, Joe — for five
 
 A MALAPROPOS PARENT. Ill 
 
 years. But the Governor did his 
 duty. He was a white man, the 
 Governor. He let me out." 
 
 "Why?" asked the judge 
 curiously. 
 
 " Was a white man to get five 
 years for besting a nigger ? " 
 demanded the old man, with his 
 first approach to vigor. " Not 
 if the Governor knew it ! Oh, 
 he was a white man. So here 
 I am, Joe — here I am, thank 
 God ! " 
 
 The judge leaned forward and 
 asked, " Have you any letters 
 from the man you say is your 
 son?" 
 
 The old man pulled a dirty 
 letter out of his pocket, and 
 handed it up with a bewildered 
 look. 
 
 Young Mr. Pippitt still looked 
 on with his fixed smile, while the 
 judge read :
 
 112 a malapropos parent. 
 
 " Dear Father : 
 
 " It's a bad job that you're 
 nabbed. Five years is no joke. 
 Why were you such a fool ? You 
 were right about the name. Keep 
 it quite dark, for God's sake ! 
 I'll see what I can do. 
 
 " Yours, 
 
 " Received your last all right." 
 
 " Is that your handwriting ? " 
 the judge asked of the plaintiff; 
 but young Mr. Pippitt swayed to 
 and fro and fell in a faint in the 
 witness-box. The judge turned 
 to Mr. Budge. 
 
 " Do you desire," he asked, 
 " that this man should be sworn, 
 and repeat his evidence on oath, 
 so that you may cross-examine 
 him ? " 
 
 Mr. Budge looked at his inani- 
 mate client, and answered, "I do
 
 A MALA PROPOS PA REN T. 113 
 
 not, my lord. I shall probably 
 have your lordship's approval in 
 withdrawing from the case ? " 
 
 While the judge directed the 
 jury to return a verdict for the 
 defendant, the old man had- 
 anxiously watched the usher, 
 who was unloosing young Mr. 
 Pippitt's neckcloth. When the 
 plaintiff revived, the old man 
 leaned over to Mr. Budge, and 
 said, with a pleased smile, " Oh, 
 he'll be all right directly, won't 
 he ? I thought I could help a bit. 
 I have helped a bit, haven't I?" 
 
 *' You have helped him to 
 twelve months' hard labor," said 
 Mr. Budge. 
 
 But the old man did not under- 
 stand what it all meant, till one 
 day they took him to Kensal 
 Green, and showed him a hand- 
 some tombstone. The inscrip- 
 tion ran :
 
 114 a malapropos parent. 
 
 " In Memory of James Pippitt." 
 
 The old man read and laughed. 
 "To think of that!" he said. 
 " It beats everything ! " 
 He read on with a chuckle : 
 
 " Erected by his sorrowing son^ 
 Joseph Pippitt. Born 13th De- 
 cember, 182 1. Died 5th Febru- 
 ary, 189 1. ' I shall go to him, 
 but he shall not return to me.' " 
 
 This prophecy might or might 
 not be true of the person interred 
 beneath the tombstone. On its 
 unfortunate inapplicability to his 
 father, and on the tainting of the 
 fountain of Louisiana justice, 
 young Mr. Pippitt enjoyed twelve 
 months' quiet reflection.
 
 HOW THEY STOPPED THE 
 "RUN." 
 
 HERE was a run on the 
 Sandhill and District 
 Bank, It had lasted the 
 whole of one day, and had shown 
 no signs of abating in the even- 
 ing. If it lasted another day ! 
 Old Mr. Bradshaw wiped his 
 brow. It had come just at the 
 awkwardest time — just after the 
 farmers had got their usual loans, 
 just when securities were hard to 
 realize ; in fact, just at the mo- 
 ment when the bank, though in 
 reality solvent, was emphatically 
 not in a position in answer a long- 
 continued demand for payment on 
 
 "5
 
 Il6 HOW THEY STOPPED THE '■'■ RUN." 
 
 the spot. Mr. Bradshaw groaned 
 out all these distressing facts to 
 his son Dick. It was, indeed, no 
 use talking to Dick, for he took 
 no interest in business, and had 
 spent the day in a boat with the 
 Flirtington girls ; still, Mr. Brad- 
 shavv was bound to talk to some- 
 one. 
 
 " We shall have to put the shut- 
 ters up. One day's grace would 
 save us, I believe ; we could get 
 the money then. But if they're 
 at us again to-morrow morning, 
 we can't last two hours." 
 
 Dick sympathized, but had 
 nothing to suggest, except that it 
 would not make matters worse if 
 he carried out his engagement to 
 go to the circus with the Flirting- 
 ton girls. 
 
 " Oh, go to h— 11 with the Flirt- 
 ington girls, if you like," groaned 
 Mr. Bradshaw.
 
 HOW THEY STOPPED THE "-'RUNy H? 
 
 So Dick went— to the circus 
 (the other expedition, as he ob- 
 served, would keep), and enjoyed 
 the performance very much, es- 
 pecially the lion-taming, which 
 was magnificent, and so impressed 
 Dick that he deserted his com- 
 panions, went behind the scenes, 
 and insisted on standing Signor 
 Philippini several glasses. 
 
 "Is that big chap quite safe?" 
 he asked admiringly. 
 
 " / can do anythink with 'im," 
 said the signor (whose English 
 was naturally defective) ; " but 
 with anyone helse 'e's a roarer, 'e 
 is, and no mistake." 
 
 After the performance Dick 
 took the Flirtington girls home ° 
 then, with a thoughtful look on 
 his face, he went and had some 
 talk with his father, and came 
 away, carefully placing a roll of 
 notes in his breast pocket. Then
 
 1 18 HOIV THEY STOPPED THE " RUN." 
 
 he sought Signer Philippini's so- 
 ciety once more. And that's all 
 that is really known about it — if, 
 that is, we discard the obviously 
 fanciful statement of Fanny Flirt- 
 ington that, as she was gazing 
 at the moon about 2 a. m., she 
 saw a heavy wagon, drawn by two 
 horses and driven by Signer 
 Philippini, pass along the street in 
 the direction of the bank. She 
 must have been wrong ; for 
 Philippini, by the evidence of his 
 signora (whose name, notwith- 
 standing that Philippini's morals 
 were perfectly correct, was Mrs. 
 Buggins), went to bed at 11.30, 
 and snored like a pig all night. 
 
 However these things may be, 
 this is what happened next morn- 
 ing. When the first of the de- 
 positors arrived at 7 a. m., they 
 found one of the windows of 
 the bank smashed to pieces and
 
 HOW THEY STOPPED THE ''RUN." HQ 
 
 the shutter hanging loose. A cry 
 went up that there had been a 
 robbery, and one or two men be- 
 gan to cUmb in. They did not 
 get far before a fearful roar pro- 
 ceeded from the neighborhood 
 of the counter. They looked at 
 one another, and said it would be 
 more regular to wait for the 
 officials. The roars continued. 
 They sent for Mr. Bradshaw. 
 Hardly had he arrived (accompa- 
 nied by Dick, breathless and in 
 shirt-sleeves) before the backmost 
 rows of the now considerable 
 crowd became agitated with a new 
 sensation. The news spread 
 rapidly. Frantic men ran to and 
 fro ; several ladies fainted ; the 
 circus-proprietor was sent for. A 
 lion had escaped from the men- 
 agerie, and was supposed to be at 
 large in the town ! 
 
 " Send for Philippini ! " cried
 
 I20 HOW THEY STOPPED THE " RUN." 
 
 the proprietor. They did so. 
 PhiHppini had started early for a 
 picnic in the country, and would 
 not return till just before the per- 
 formance in the evening. The 
 proprietor was in despair. 
 
 *' Where's the beast gone to ? " 
 he cried. 
 
 A roar from the bank answered 
 his question. 
 
 " Well, I'm blowed if he's not 
 in the bank ! " exclaimed the pro- 
 prietor. 
 
 It certainly appeared to be the 
 fact that Atlas (that was the 
 lion's name) had taken refuge in 
 the bank, and was in full posses- 
 sion of the premises and assets. 
 Under these circumstances there 
 was, Mn Bradshaw explained, a 
 difficulty in resuming cash pay- 
 ments ; but if his checks would be 
 
 accepted The crowd roared 
 
 almost as loud as Atlas at such an
 
 now THEY STOPPED THE'' RUN." 121 
 
 idea. Something must be done. 
 They sent for the mayor ; he 
 repudiated liability. They sent 
 for the fire brigade and the life- 
 boat crew ; neither would come. 
 They got guns, and peppered the 
 furniture. Atlas retired behind 
 the fireproof safe and roared 
 worse than ever. Meanwhile the 
 precious hours were passing. 
 Mr. Bradshaw's money was also 
 on its way from London. At 
 last Dick took a noble resolu- 
 tion. 
 
 " I will go in at any cost," he 
 cried, and, in spite of Fanny 
 Flirtington's tears, he scaled the 
 window and disappeared from 
 view. The crowd waited to hear 
 Atlas scrunching ; but he only 
 roared. When Dick was inside, 
 he paused and asked in a low 
 voice : " Is he chained ? " 
 
 " Yes," answered Signer Philip-
 
 122 HOIV THEY STOPPED THE " RUN." 
 
 pini from behind the safe. " Is 
 the Aunt Sally business over?" 
 and he came out with a long pole 
 in his hand. He used the pole to 
 stir poor Atlas up when the roars 
 became deficient in quantity and 
 quality. 
 
 " The money ought to be here 
 in three hours," said Dick. 
 "Have you got the back-door 
 key ? " 
 
 Philipplni reassured him. Then 
 Dick took a wild running leap at 
 the window ; Philippini stirred up 
 Atlas, who roared lustily. Dick 
 escaped with his life, and landed, 
 a breathless heap, at the mayor's 
 feet. The mayor raised him, and 
 said he should write to Her 
 Majesty, and suggest that Dick 
 would be a proper recipient of 
 the Albert Medal, and the vicar 
 (who had no money in the bank) 
 indignantly asked the crowd if
 
 HOW THEY STOPPED THE "■' RUN." I23 
 
 they could not trust a family 
 which produced scions like that. 
 Several people cried *' Hear, 
 hear ! " and told Mr. Bradshaw 
 that they never really meant to 
 withdraw their deposits. Mr. 
 Bradshaw thanked them, and 
 looked at his watch. 
 
 At half-past three Philippini 
 ran up ; he also was breathless, 
 and his shoes were dusty from 
 walking in the country. At once 
 he effected an entry, amid a scene 
 of great excitement. A moment 
 later he appeared at the window 
 and cried in a terror-stricken 
 voice : 
 
 " I can't 'old 'im ! I can't 'old 
 'im ! 'E's mad ! Look out for 
 yourselves ! " and he leaped from 
 the window. 
 
 The crowd fled in all directions, 
 and two boys were all but run 
 over by a cart which was being
 
 124 HOW THEY STOPPED THE'' RUN.'' 
 
 driven rapidly from the railway 
 station to the bank. 
 
 " All right," said Dick to the 
 signor ; "bring up the wagon." 
 And then, with great difficulty and 
 consummate courage, the signor 
 and Dick brought an iron cage up 
 to the window, and drove Atlas 
 in. The operation took more than 
 an hour, because they had to feed 
 Atlas and drink a bottle of cham- 
 pagne themselves before they set 
 about it. So that it was six o'clock 
 before Atlas was out, and the 
 money was in, and the Sandhill 
 and District Bank opened its doors 
 for business. 
 
 "We gained just the time we 
 needed," said Mr. Bradshaw. 
 " It was dirt-cheap at fifty 
 pounds ! " 
 
 And Dick, although he did not 
 get the Albert Medal, was taken 
 into partnership, and married
 
 HOW THEY STOPPED THE " RUN:" 125 
 
 Fanny Flirtington. It was the 
 only way of preventing her seeing 
 things she was not meant to see 
 out of the window at 2 a. m. and 
 chattering about them in public.
 
 A LITTLE JOKE, 
 
 DAY or two before Eas 
 ter, I was sitting in my 
 office, finishing up some 
 scraps of work, and ever and anon 
 casting happy glances at my port- 
 manteau, which stood in the cor- 
 ner. I was just off to spend a 
 fortnight with my old friend Colo- 
 nel Gunton, in Norfolk, and I 
 was looking forward to seeing 
 him again with great pleasure. 
 We had not met for ten years, 
 and I had never been to his place 
 or seen any of his family. It 
 would be delightful. 
 
 The telephone bell rang. 
 " Oh, confound it ! I hope 
 that's nothing to keep me ! " I 
 126
 
 A LITTLE JOKE. 127 
 
 exclaimed ; and I rose to see 
 to it. 
 
 " Mr, Miller ? Are you there ? " 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "All right. I'll come round." 
 
 A few minutes passed, and then 
 my clerk announced, " A lady to 
 see you, sir." 
 
 A remarkably pretty girl of 
 about eighteen was ushered in. 
 She stood still some way from me 
 till the door was closed. Then 
 she suddenly rushed toward me, 
 fell at my feet, and exclaimed, 
 "You will protect me, won't 
 
 you?" 
 
 " My dear young lady, what in 
 
 the world " 
 
 " You're the famous Mr. Miller, 
 aren't you? Mr. Joseph Miller, 
 the philanthropist ? " 
 
 " My name is Joseph Miller 
 certainly." 
 
 " Ah ! Then I am safe ; " and
 
 128 A LITTLE JOKE. 
 
 she sat down in an armchair, and 
 smiled confidingly at me. 
 
 " Madam," said I sternly, 
 " will you have the goodness to 
 explain to what I owe the pleas- 
 ure of this visit ? " 
 
 " They told me to come to 
 you." 
 
 " Who ? " 
 
 " Why, the people at the police 
 station." 
 
 " The police station ? " 
 
 " Yes, when they let me go — 
 because it was a first offense, you 
 know. They said you always took 
 up cases like mine, and that if I 
 stuck to you I should be well 
 looked after." 
 
 It was quite true that I have 
 taken an interest in rescuing 
 young persons from becoming 
 habitual criminals ; but I was 
 hardly prepared for this. 
 
 *^ What have you been doing ? "
 
 A LITTLE JOKE. I2q 
 
 " Oh, nothing this time — only a 
 bracelet," 
 
 " This time ? " 
 
 " They didn't know me up 
 here," she explained smilingly. 
 " I've always practiced in the 
 country. Wasn't it lucky? But 
 really, Mr. Miller, I'm tired of it ; 
 I am indeed. The life is too ex- 
 citing : the doctors say so ; so 
 I've come to you." 
 
 The case was a strange one, 
 but I had no time to investigate it 
 now. It wanted only half an hour 
 to the time my train left Liver- 
 pool Street. 
 
 " What is your name ? " I asked. 
 
 " Sarah Jones." 
 
 " Well, I will have your case 
 looked into. Come and see me 
 again ; or, if you are in distress, 
 you may write to me — at Colonel 
 Gunton's, Beech Hill, Norfolk. 
 I shall be staying there "
 
 I30 A LITTLE JOKE. 
 
 " Going now?" 
 
 " I start in a few minutes." 
 
 " Oh, I'll come with you." 
 
 *' Madam," I answered, with 
 emphasis, " I will see j'ou — out of 
 the office first." 
 
 " But what am I to do ? Oh, 
 it's nonsense ! I shall come. I 
 shall say I belong to you." 
 
 I rang the bell. " Show this 
 lady out, Thomas, at once." 
 
 She laughed, bowed, and went. 
 Evidently a most impudent hussy. 
 I finished my business, drove to 
 Liverpool Street, and established 
 myself in a first-class smoking car- 
 riage. I was alone, and settled 
 myself for a comfortable cigar. I 
 was rudely interrupted. Just as 
 the train was starting, the door 
 opened — and that odious young 
 woman jumped in. 
 
 " There ! I nearly missed 
 you ! " she said.
 
 A LITTLE JOKE. 13 1 
 
 " I can hold no communication 
 with you," said I severely ; " you 
 are a disgrace to your — er — 
 sex." 
 
 " It's all right. I've wired to 
 the colonel." 
 
 "You've wired to my friend 
 Colonel Gunton ? " 
 
 " Yes, I didn't want to surprise 
 them. I said you would bring a 
 friend with you. It's all right, 
 Mr. Miller." 
 
 " I don't know who you are or 
 what you are ; but the Guntons 
 are respectable people, and I am a 
 respectable man, and " 
 
 " That's no reason why you 
 should promenade up and down, 
 Mr. Miller. It's very uncomfort- 
 able for me." 
 
 " What is the meaning of this 
 insolent behavior ? " 
 
 <' Why not be friendly ? We're 
 off now, and I must go on,"
 
 132 A LITTLE JOKE. 
 
 " I shall give you in charge at 
 the next station." 
 
 " What for ? " 
 
 On reflection, I supposed she 
 had committed no criminal 
 offense ; and with a dignified air 
 I opened my paper. 
 
 ** I don't mind you smoking," 
 she said, and took out a box of 
 chocolates. 
 
 I was at my wits' end. Either 
 this girl was mad or she was a 
 dangerous and unscrupulous per- 
 son. She was quite capable of 
 making a most unpleasant and dis- 
 creditable commotion on the plat- 
 form at Beach Hill Station. What 
 in the world was I to do ? 
 
 "Shall we stay long at the Gun- 
 tons' ? " she asked. 
 
 "You, madam, will never go 
 there." 
 
 " Oh, yes, I shall." 
 
 " Indeed you won't. I'll take
 
 A LITTLE JOKE. 133 
 
 care of that. The poHce will see 
 to that." 
 
 " I don't care a fig for the 
 police. I shall go and stay as 
 long as you do. They told me to 
 stick to you." 
 
 I became angry. Any man 
 would have. But nothing was to 
 be gained by losing my temper. I 
 took out a sovereign. 
 
 " If you'll get out at the next 
 station, I'll give you this." 
 
 She laughed merrily. " I 
 thought you went in for personal 
 supervision, not mere pecuniary 
 doles," she said ; " I read that in 
 your speech at the Charity Organi- 
 zation meeting. No ; I'm not to 
 be bribed. I'm going to the 
 Guntons'." 
 
 " It's absurd. It's preposter- 
 ous. What will— what will Mrs. 
 Gunton say ? " 
 
 " Oh, s/ie won't mind," answered
 
 134 A LITTLE JOKE. 
 
 my companion, with a confident 
 nod. " Siie's used to girls like 
 me." 
 
 " You surprise me," I retorted 
 sarcastically ; but she only laughed 
 again. I returned to my paper. 
 
 An hour passed in silence. The 
 train began to slacken speed as we 
 neared the station next before 
 Beech Hill. She looked up and 
 said : 
 
 *' Would you really rather T 
 didn't come with you ? " 
 
 I had passed a wretched hour. 
 This girl was evidently bent on 
 blasting my character, 
 
 "Madam," I said, ''if you'll 
 get out at this station, I'll give 
 you a five-pound note." 
 
 " What ? I heard you never 
 gave away a farthing ! They said 
 no one could get a penny out of 
 you." 
 
 " It is true that I disapprove of
 
 A LITTLE JOKE. 135 
 
 indiscriminate charity ; but, under 
 the circumstances, I " 
 
 " Thinlc I am a deserving 
 object ? Well, I'll take it." 
 
 With a sigh of relief, I took a 
 note from my pocket-book, and 
 gave it her. 
 
 " I'll pay it back soon," she 
 said. 
 
 " Never let me see your face 
 again." 
 
 " Apologize for me to the Gun- 
 tons. Good-by." 
 
 She jumped out lightly, and I 
 sank back, murmuring, " Thank 
 Heaven ! " 
 
 After I got rid of her my jour- 
 ney was peaceful and happy, and 
 I forgot my troubles in the warm 
 greeting my old friend Bob Gun- 
 ton and his wife gave me. The 
 girl must have lied about the tele- 
 gram ; at least. Bob made no 
 reference to it. He had a fine
 
 135 A LITTLE JOKE. 
 
 family of boys and girls, and pre« 
 sented them to me with natural 
 pride. 
 
 " That's my lot — except Addie, 
 She's gone to see some friends ; 
 but we expect her back every 
 minute. They keep me alive, I 
 can tell you, Miller." 
 
 After tea, my host and hostess 
 insisted on taking me for a stroll 
 on the terrace. It was a beautiful 
 evening, and I did not mind the 
 cold. As we were talking to- 
 gether, I heard the rumble of 
 wheels. An omnibus stopped at 
 the gate. 
 
 " Ah, the 'bus," said Gunton ; 
 '* it runs between here and our 
 market-town." 
 
 I hardly heard him ; for, to my 
 horror, I saw, descending from the 
 'bus and opening the gate, that 
 girl ! 
 
 " Send her away ! " I cried ;
 
 A LITTLE JOKE. 137 
 
 *' send her away ! On my honor, 
 Bob, as a gentleman, I know noth- 
 ing about her." 
 
 ** Why, what's the matter ? " 
 
 " I solemnly assure Mrs. Gun- 
 ton and yourself that " 
 
 "What's the matter with the 
 man ? What's he talking about ? " 
 
 "Why, Bob, that girl— that 
 barefaced girl ! " 
 
 " That girl ! Why, that's my 
 daughter Addie ! " 
 
 " Your daughter ? " 
 
 The little minx walked up to me 
 with a smile, dropped a little court- 
 esy, and said : " I knew, Mr. 
 Miller, that it wasn't true that you 
 would refuse to help a really 
 deserving case. The others said 
 you would ; but I thought better 
 of you." 
 
 And she had the effrontery, 
 then and there, to tell her parents 
 all about it !
 
 138 A LITTLE JOKE. 
 
 I think parents are the most 
 infatuated class of persons in the 
 community. They laughed, and 
 Mrs. Gunton said, " How clever 
 of you, Addie ! You must forgive 
 her, Mr. Miller. My dear girls 
 are so playful ! " 
 
 Playful .' And she never re- 
 turned the five-pound note !
 
 A GUARDIAN OF MORALITY. 
 
 ISS TABITHA GREY 
 had not reached the age 
 of forty-five years with- 
 out acquirhig an extensive and 
 unfavorable knowledge of her 
 sex. Men were wicked ; Miss 
 Grey admitted and deplored the 
 fact, but it was so much in the 
 order of nature that she had 
 almost ceased to cavil at it. But 
 that women should be wicked ! 
 Here Miss Grey's toleration gave 
 out. And so many women, espe- 
 cially young women, and more 
 especially pretty young women, 
 were wicked. It was atrocious ! 
 Entertaining this general opinion, 
 Miss Grey, as a matter of course, 
 139
 
 I40 ^ GUARDIAN OF MORALITY. 
 
 held Maggie Lester in the utmost 
 detestation. The Waterfall Hotel 
 was, in fact, hardly large enough 
 to contain, in any comfort, Miss 
 Grey on the one hand and on 
 the other Maggie Lester, her 
 brother Charles, and their friend 
 and traveling companion. Cap- 
 tain Petrie. It is true that the 
 feeling of discomfort was entirely 
 confined to Miss Grey. The 
 young people were very civil 
 to her when any one of them 
 happened to be next her at 
 table d'/iote, and at other times 
 thought nothing about her ; 
 but Miss Grey endured agonies 
 enough for an hotelful of people. 
 She shuddered at Maggie's striped 
 waistcoat and white sailor's knot 
 with its golden pin, at her brown 
 boots, at her love of long and 
 hard rides, at her not infrequent 
 slang ; above all, at the terms of
 
 A GUARDIAN OF MORALITY. 14I 
 
 hearty and familiar camaraderie 
 on which she thought fit to con- 
 duct her acquaintance with Cap- 
 tain Petrie. The decorum of 
 literature forbids that Miss Grey's 
 inmost suspicions should be put in 
 writing ; it must suffice to say that 
 they were very dark indeed — so 
 dark that all the other ladies, to 
 whom Miss Grey repeated them, 
 could not but come to the conclu- 
 sion that there must be some truth 
 in them. 
 
 One morning, after breakfast, 
 Miss Grey took her knitting and 
 the Church Times and sat down 
 in the veranda. A moment later, 
 to her disgust, Charlie Lester and 
 Captain Petrie came out of the 
 breakfast room, lit their pipes, 
 and, after a polite " Good-morn- 
 ing," took their seats a few yards 
 from her. Miss Grey sniffed the 
 tobacco-tainted air, and was
 
 142 A GUARDIAN OF MORALITY. 
 
 about to rise and ostentatiously 
 remove herself from the infected 
 zone, when she heard a scrap of 
 conversation between the two 
 young men which entirely altered 
 her determination. She sat still 
 and listened with all her mio;ht. 
 
 " I wonder when Maggie will 
 be down," said Lester ; " I want 
 to tell her." 
 
 " Oh, you're too late," said 
 Petrie; "I've told her." 
 
 " What, have you seen her ? " 
 
 ''Yes. I knew she'd like to 
 know, so I went outside her door 
 five minutes ago and shouted 
 what we'd heard, and she came 
 out directly." 
 
 "Had she anything on?" in- 
 quired Lester, in an interested 
 tone. 
 
 " No," responded Captain Pe- 
 trie ; " but that made no differ- 
 ence.
 
 A GUARDIAN OF MORA LI TV. 143 
 
 " It would to me," said Lester. 
 with a smile. 
 
 " And to me," said the captain ; 
 " but it didn't to her. I reminded 
 her of it, and she said that it 
 made no odds— she wanted to 
 hear all I knew directly. So we 
 stood in the passage, and " 
 
 Miss Grey had been gradually 
 becoming more and more horri- 
 fied. She had been prepared for 
 a good deal, but this was too 
 much. And the creature's own 
 brother listened to it ! Her knit- 
 ting fell from her grasp, and the 
 needles jangled on the tiled floor. 
 The captain hastened to pick 
 them up, interrupting his narra- 
 tive for that purpose ; but Miss 
 Grey froze him with an awful 
 look, and strode into the house. 
 
 Miss Grey was a woman who 
 never allowed herself to be turned 
 from the path of duty, however
 
 144 A GUARDIAN OF MORALITY. 
 
 painful that path might be to 
 others. She soon made up her 
 mind as to what she must do, 
 and, having come to a resolu- 
 tion, she laid the whole matter 
 before an informal committee of 
 three irreproachable and austere 
 matrons, whom she selected from 
 among her fellow-guests. The 
 immediate result of their confer- 
 ence was, that when Maggie 
 Lester, looking very fresh and 
 blooming after her morning 
 gallop, came in to luncheon and 
 took her place at the table, no 
 fewer than four elderly ladies 
 put down their knives and forks, 
 rose from their chairs, and 
 solemnly stalked out of the room. 
 
 "Hullo! what's up?" said 
 Charlie Lester. 
 
 But nobody knew what was up ; 
 and, to all appearance, Maggie 
 least of all, for she cheerfully
 
 A GUARDIAN OF MORALITY. I45 
 
 began her lunch, mere remark- 
 ing to the captain, as though in 
 continuance of a previous con- 
 versation: 
 
 " It wouldn't have been so bad 
 if I'd had anything — even the 
 least little bit — on, would it?" 
 
 " Ah, you ought to have put 
 your boots on," said the captain, 
 with a smile. 
 
 A fifth lady, sitting by, over- 
 heard these remarks, and when, 
 after lunch. Miss Grey informed 
 her of the startling occurrence of 
 the morning, her testimony com- 
 pleted the damning chain of evi- 
 dence. They made a joke of it ! 
 What could the suggestion of 
 boots — only boots — be, except a 
 vulgar, shameless jest ? The 
 ladies went in a body to the 
 proprietor, and intimated that 
 either they or the Lester party 
 must forthwith leave the hotel.
 
 146 A GUARDIAN OF MORALITY. 
 
 The proprietor demanded rea- 
 sons ; cogent, irrefragable reasons 
 were supplied by Miss Grey and 
 the fifth lady — reasons clothed, 
 of course, in decorous language, 
 but unmistakably revealing the in- 
 famous conduct of Maggie Lester. 
 
 *' I assure you, ladies," ex- 
 claimed the proprietor, beads of 
 perspiration standing on his brow, 
 *' it's the first time such a thing 
 has ever occurred in my house." 
 
 " It must be the last," said 
 Miss Grey firmly. 
 
 " I will act at once," declared 
 the proprietor. *' This is a re- 
 spectable house, and such pro- 
 ceedings cannot be tolerated. 
 Good gracious ! It would en- 
 danger my license ! " 
 
 " And your soul," said Miss 
 Grey solemnly. 
 
 " I beg your pardon, miss ? " 
 said the proprietor.
 
 A GUARD/AN OF MORAL/TV. 147 
 
 ''A/iJ your soul," repeated 
 Miss Grey. 
 
 " Oh, yes, to be sure — of course, 
 my soul, miss. As it was, I had 
 a bother about it last year — my 
 license, I mean, miss. I'll go to 
 Mr. Lester at once." 
 
 The proprietor was a nervous, 
 bashful man, and when he found 
 himself standing before the 
 Lesters and Captain Petrie, as 
 they drank their after-luncheon 
 coffee, he was much embarrassed. 
 At last he managed to indicate 
 that he wished to speak to Mr. 
 Lester alone. 
 
 " Oh, nonsense ! " said Charlie. 
 " Go on. What's the matter ? " 
 
 The proprietor nerved himself 
 for the effort. After all, if these 
 people were not ashamed for 
 themselves, why should he blush 
 for them ? Looking sternly at 
 Charlie, he began to formulate his
 
 Jt48 A GUARDIAN OF MORALITY. 
 
 accusation. He had not got far 
 before Maggie gave a little shriek 
 of amazement ; and the captain, 
 jumping up, seized him by the 
 collar, and exclaimed : 
 
 " What do you mean, you little 
 rascal ? What's this scandalous 
 nonsense you've got hold of ? " 
 and the captain shook his host 
 severely. 
 
 " I am not to be bullied, sir," 
 said the proprietor stoutly. " I 
 have excellent authority for what 
 I say, and " 
 
 " Whose authority ? " 
 
 The proprietor vouched Miss 
 Grey and the fifth lady. 
 
 " We must look into this," said 
 the captain. 
 
 Maggie, who was blushing 
 severely, but was not without a 
 secret tendency to convulsive 
 laughter, was prevailed upon to 
 accompany them, and the four
 
 A GUARDIAN OF MORALITY. 149 
 
 proceeded to the drawing room, 
 where the Inquisition sat en- 
 throned on the sofa, Miss Grey- 
 presiding. Miss Grey rose with a 
 gesture of horror. 
 
 " Not gone yet ? " she ex- 
 claimed. 
 
 " No, ma'am," said the captain ; 
 " we want to hear your story first." 
 " Have you no shame ? " de- 
 manded Miss Grey of Maggie. 
 
 " Never mind that, ma'am," said 
 the captain ; " let's have the story 
 first." 
 
 Miss Grey cast an appealing 
 glance at the ceiling, and began : 
 " With my own ears I heard it. 
 Mrs. Britson [Mrs. Britson was 
 the fifth lady] will confirm what I 
 say. With my own ears I heard 
 Captain Petrie relate to Mr. Les- 
 ter — to this person's brother — 
 that he had had an interview with 
 this person when this person was
 
 ISO A CUARDIAN OF MORALITY. 
 
 entirely " Miss Grey paused 
 
 for a moment, gathered her cour- 
 age, and added in an awestruck 
 whisper, " disrobed." 
 
 A shudder ran through the 
 audience. The culprits' faces ex- 
 pressed real or simulated aston- 
 ishment. 
 
 " If I must put it plainly," 
 pursued Miss Grey — and at this 
 several ladies opened their fans 
 and held them before their faces 
 — "Captain Petrie said that Miss 
 Lester — that person — had nothing 
 on, and that when he reminded 
 her of it she stated that the cir- 
 cumstance was immaterial. Sub- 
 sequently, at luncheon, the young 
 woman herself admitted the fact 
 in the hearing of Mrs. Britson. 
 If that is not enough " 
 
 It apparently was enough, for 
 Charlie Lester threw himself into 
 an armchair with a wild shriek of
 
 A GUARDIAN OF MORALITY. 151 
 
 laughter. Maggie's slight figure 
 shook convulsively as she hid her 
 face in her handkerchief, and 
 Captain Petrie, after a moment's 
 blank amazement, cried out : 
 
 " By Jove ! I've got it. Oh ? 
 this beats anything ! " And he 
 joined in with a loud guffaw. 
 
 " Is that the way you treat such 
 
 a — an abominable " began 
 
 Miss Grey austerely. 
 
 " Oh, stop ! for Heaven's sake 
 stop ! " exclaimed the captain ; 
 "you'll be the death of me, you 
 really will ! " 
 
 Silence followed for a moment, 
 and the captain, conquering his 
 mirth, went on : "I don't know if 
 any of you ladies go in for horse- 
 racing. Probably not ; I'm sure 
 Miss Grey doesn't. Well, this 
 morning I heard that a horse of 
 mine which is running in a race 
 to-day had done an exceptionally
 
 152 A GUARDIAN OF MORALITY. 
 
 and quite unexpectedly good 
 trial — I mean, had proved a far 
 faster runner than we had sup- 
 posed. In fact, there was little 
 doubt that he would win the race. 
 Sometimes, ladies, I am wicked 
 enough to bet. Occasionally 
 Charlie Lester is equally wicked. 
 Now and then Miss Lester yields 
 to that vice. Well, as you know, 
 we are far from a telegraph here ; 
 and we were much annoyed, 
 Charlie and I, that we could not 
 take advantage of our fresh in- 
 formation to bet on the horse — 
 to put something on, as we say„ 
 Miss Lester regretted also, when 
 I told her the news, that she had 
 nothing on — the horse. Do you 
 begin to understand, ladies ?" 
 
 The ladies glanced at one an- 
 other in some confusion. Miss 
 Grey looked angry and suspi- 
 cious.
 
 A GUARDIAN OF MORAL/ TV. 153 
 
 " And the boots? " she said. 
 
 " To put your boots on a 
 horse," explained the captain 
 pohtely, " is a slang expression 
 for betting your entire available 
 fortune on his success. An- 
 other expression is to put your 
 shirt " 
 
 "Sir !" said Miss Grey. 
 
 But Miss Grey's sway was 
 ended. Maggie burst into a 
 fresh fit of laughter, and, after a 
 moment's pause the whole com- 
 pany followed suit. Miss Grey 
 turned and left the room. The 
 next day she left the hotel ; she 
 could not face her victorious foes. 
 Captain Petrie insisted on hand- 
 ing her into the omnibus, saying 
 as he did so, '' Be easy, my dear 
 madam. In future it shall be my 
 care to see that Miss Lester has 
 something on/'
 
 NOT A BAD DEAL 
 
 llHE little volume of verses 
 entitled, "To Lalage," 
 made quite a stir in the 
 literary world. One critic of note 
 said that it was instinct with classic 
 grace; another that it was in- 
 formed by the true spirit of Hellas ; 
 a third that it had a whiff of Hy- 
 mettus; a fourth that it was hardly 
 suitable for family reading; and 
 on the strength of all this lauda- 
 tion, "To Lalage" was a success, 
 and several copies were bond fide 
 sold to complete strangers. Im- 
 agine, then, the bitterness of heart 
 with which Adrian Pottles, the 
 gifted author, saw himself com- 
 pelled to maintain strict anonym- 
 
 ^54
 
 NOT A BAD DEAL. 155 
 
 ity, and to conceal from a world 
 thirsting to know him that he was 
 the "A. P." v/hose initials ap- 
 peared in Old English letters on 
 the title-page. Yet he did not 
 hesitate; for he knew that if his 
 uncle, Mr. Thomas Pottles, of 
 Clapham Common, discovered 
 that he wrote not only verses, 
 which was bad, but amatory verses, 
 which was atrocious, his means of 
 present livelihood and prospects of 
 future affluence would vanish into 
 thin air. For Mr. Pottles was a 
 man of strict views; and, whether 
 one regarded this world or the 
 next, there could be no question 
 that a bank clerk of Evangelical 
 connections committed a grave 
 fault in writing love poems. So 
 poor Adrian had to make up his 
 mind to remain unknown, and to 
 hold his tongue even when he 
 heard that another man had been
 
 156 NOT A BAD DEAL. 
 
 claiming the authorship of "To 
 Lalage." Luckily, perhaps, he 
 failed to find out who this mis- 
 creant was, or probably his indig- 
 nation would have overcome his 
 prudence, and he would at any 
 cost have claimed his own. 
 
 The secret was well kept; and 
 Adrian received the usual check at 
 Christmas-time, and with it the 
 usual invitation to spend the festive 
 season with his uncle, and to bring 
 with him his young friend Peter 
 Allison, to whom old Mr. Pottles 
 had taken a great fancy. Peter 
 was a man of many engagements, 
 but, sought after as he was and 
 proclaimed himself to be, he re- 
 membered the good cheer at Mr. 
 Pottles', and accepted the invita- 
 tion. They went down together; 
 Adrian bewailing his hard fortune 
 and denouncing the impostor; 
 Peter warmly sympathizing, but
 
 NOT A BAD DEAL. 157 
 
 counseling continued silence and 
 prudence. 
 
 "Ah, if I could only claim it!" 
 cried Adrian, opening his Glad- 
 stone bag and gazing fondly at half 
 a dozen neat, clean copies of "To 
 Lalage." "I should be the lion 
 of the season, Peter." 
 
 Peter smiled and shook his head. 
 "A fortune is better than fame, 
 Adrian," said he. 
 
 For a day or two all went well 
 at Clapham. The old gentleman 
 was in the best of tempers, and the 
 two young men did their best to 
 keep him in it, indorsing all his 
 views as to the lax morality and 
 disgraceful tone which pervaded 
 modern literature and modern 
 society; and when they had done 
 their duty in this way they re- 
 warded themselves by going in 
 next door and having tea with 
 Dora Chatterton, a young lady
 
 158 NOT A BAD DEAL. 
 
 whom they both thought charm- 
 ing. Indeed, Adrian thought her 
 so charming that, after a short 
 acquaintance, he sent her a copy 
 of ' 'To Lalage" — with the author's 
 kind regards. Now, Miss Dora 
 Chatterton adored genius. She 
 had thought both Adrian and Peter 
 very pleasant young men; she had 
 perceived that they both thought 
 her a very pleasant young woman ; 
 and she had been rather puzzled to 
 know which of them she would, in 
 a certain event, make up her mind 
 to prefer. "To Lalage" settled 
 the question. It was the gifted 
 author, A. P., who deserved her 
 love; and A. P. obviously stood, 
 not for Peter Allison, but for 
 Adrian Pottles. 
 
 The very next morning she 
 called early at Mr. Pottles'. She 
 found him alone ; the boys, he 
 explained, had gone for a walk.
 
 NOT A BAD DEAL. 159 
 
 Dora was disappointed ; but, fail- 
 ing the author himself, she was 
 content to pour her praises into 
 the ears of an appreciative and 
 proud uncle. She did so, express- 
 ing immense admiration for 
 Adrian's modesty in not having 
 told Mr. Pottles of his achieve- 
 ment. 
 
 "Humph!" said Mr. Pot- 
 tles. "Let me see these — er — 
 things." 
 
 The effect of "To Lalage" on 
 Mr. Pottles was surprising, and 
 particularly so to Dora. In less 
 than ten minutes she found her- 
 self being shown the door, and 
 intrusted with a letter to her 
 mother in which Mr. Pottles stated 
 that she had been reading wicked 
 books, and ought, in his opinion, 
 to be sent to her own room for an 
 indefinite period. 
 
 "And I shall know if you don't
 
 I60 NOT A BAD DEAL. 
 
 give it her," said Mr. Pottles 
 viciously. 
 
 Thus it happened that Adrian' 
 and Peter, as they were returning, 
 met poor Dora on the steps with 
 this horrid note in one hand and 
 her pocket-handkerchief in the 
 other — for Mrs. Chatterton shared 
 Mr. Pottles' views, and Dora did 
 not enjoy having to deliver the 
 note. They were just hastening 
 up to speak to her, when Mr. 
 Pottles himself appeared on the 
 steps, holding out "To Lalage" 
 in his hand. Adrian grasped the 
 situation. 
 
 "For Heaven's sake, Peter," 
 he whispered, "say you wrote the 
 beastly thing; I'm ruined if you 
 don't." 
 
 "Eh? But he'll kick me out." 
 
 "I'll stand a pony." 
 
 "Two;' said Peter firmly. 
 
 "Well, two; but be quick."
 
 NOT A BAD DEAL. l6l 
 
 Then Peter spoke up like a 
 man, and accepted the blame of 
 "To Lalage." 
 
 "But your initials aren't A, 
 P.," objected Mr. Pottles. 
 
 "To avoid suspicion, I reversed 
 the order; mine are P. A." 
 
 "James," said Mr. Pottles to 
 the footman, "pack Mr. Allison's 
 
 bag." 
 
 But Dora gave Peter the kind- 
 est and most admiring glance as 
 she murmured softly to Adrian, 
 "They're lovely! Oh, don't you 
 wish you could write verses, Mr. 
 Pottles?" 
 
 Adrian started. He had not 
 bargained for this; but Peter had 
 overheard, and interposed : 
 
 "I am more than consoled by 
 your approval, Miss Chatterton." 
 
 Mr. Pottles called to Adrian, 
 and he had to go in, leaving Dora 
 and Peter in close conversation,
 
 l62 NOT A BAD DEAL. 
 
 and to assure his uncle solemnly 
 that he had been entirely disap- 
 pointed and deceived in Peter, 
 and, worse still, in Dora, and that 
 he never wished to see either of 
 them again. Mr. Pottles shook 
 him by the hand and forgave him. 
 
 Adrian passed a wretched week. 
 In several newspapers he saw it 
 openly stated that Peter now ad- 
 mitted he was the author of "To 
 Lalage." Peter wrote that the fifty 
 pounds were most convenient, and 
 that he had had a most charming 
 letter from Dora, and that all the 
 literary world was paying him 
 most flattering attentions. Adrian 
 ground his teeth, but he had to 
 write back, thanking Peter for all 
 his kindness. 
 
 Meanwhile Mr. Pottles grew 
 restless. Every paper he took up 
 was full of the praises of "To 
 Lalage. ' ' The author was becom-
 
 NOT A BAD DEAL. 163 
 
 ing famous, and Mr. Pottles began 
 to doubt whether he had done well 
 to drive him forth with contumely. 
 
 "Adrian," he said suddenly one 
 morning, "I don't know that I 
 did justice to young Allison. I 
 shall have another look at that 
 book. I shall order it at 
 Smith's." 
 
 "I — I happen to have a copy," 
 said Adrian timidly. 
 
 "Get it," said Mr. Pottles. 
 Mr. Pottles read it — first with a 
 deep frown, then with a judicial 
 air, then with a smile, lastly with 
 a chuckle. 
 
 "Ask him to dinner," he said. 
 "Oh, and, Adrian, we'll have the 
 Chattertons. I wish you could do 
 something to get your name up, 
 my boy." 
 
 "You like it, uncle?" 
 
 "Yes, and I like the manly way 
 he owned to it. If he had pre-
 
 I64 NOT A BAD DEAL. 
 
 varicated about it, I'd never have 
 forgiven him." 
 
 After this Adrian did not dare 
 to confess. It was too bad. 
 Here were both his uncle and 
 Dora admiring Peter for his 
 poems, and crediting Peter with 
 candor and courage. He was to 
 lose both fame and Dora! It was 
 certainly too much. A sudden 
 thought struck him. He went to 
 town, called on Peter, and, as the 
 police reports say, "made a com- 
 munication" to him. 
 
 "It makes me look a scoun- 
 drel," objected Peter. 
 
 "Two hundred — at six months," 
 suggested Adrian. 
 
 "And she is a nice girl 
 
 No, I'm dashed " 
 
 "A monkey at three!" cried 
 Adrian. 
 
 "Done!" said Peter. 
 
 It was a sad tale of depravity
 
 NOT A BAD DEAL. I65 
 
 on one side, and of self-sacrificing 
 friendship on the other, that Mr. 
 Pottles and Dora Chatterton list- 
 ened to that evening. 
 
 "He had made," said Adrian 
 sadly, "a deliberate attempt to rob 
 me of my fame before, and he 
 repeated it. And yet, uncle, an 
 old friend — boyhood's companion 
 — how could I betray him? It 
 was weak, but I could not. I 
 stood by, and let him deceive 
 you." 
 
 "You're a noble fellow," said 
 Mr. Pottles, in tones of emotion. 
 
 "Indeed, yes," said Dora, with 
 an adoring glance. 
 
 "There, let us say no more 
 about it," pursued Adrian magnan- 
 imously. "I have my reward," 
 and he returned Dora's glance 
 behind Mr. Pottles' broad back. 
 
 The next time he met Peter, 
 he said, "I am really immensely
 
 l66 NOT A BAD DEAL. 
 
 indebted to you, old fellow. My 
 uncle has come down handsome, 
 and if the monkey now would be 
 conv " 
 
 "By Gad, yes!" said Peter. 
 He took it in crisp notes, and 
 carefully pocketed them. 
 
 "And is Miss Dora kind?" he 
 asked. 
 
 "She's an angel." 
 
 "And you are generally pros- 
 perous?" 
 
 "Thanks to you, my dear old 
 friend." 
 
 "Then," said Peter, producing 
 a piece of paper from his pocket, 
 "you might persuade your pub- 
 lishers to withdraw this beastly 
 thing." It was a writ, and it 
 claimed an injunction to restrain 
 Peter from claiming the authorship 
 of "To Lalage." 
 
 "Then you've been publicly 
 claiming it?"
 
 NOT A BAD DEAL, "i-^l 
 
 "I had to keep up the illusion, 
 Adrian. Do me justice." 
 
 "But," said Adrian, "how, 
 Peter — how does it happen that 
 the writ is dated the day before 
 we went to Clapham?" 
 
 He paused. Peter grinned 
 uneasily. A light broke in on 
 Adrian. 
 
 "Why," he exclaimed, "you're 
 the villain who " 
 
 "Exactly. Wonderfully provi- 
 dent of me, wasn't it? What, 
 you're not going?" 
 
 "Never let me see your face 
 again," said Adrian. "I have 
 done with you." 
 
 He rushed out. Peter whistled 
 gently, and said to himself, "Not 
 a bad deal ! He must stop the 
 action, or the old man will twig." 
 
 Then he whistled again, and 
 added, "Glad I got it in notes. 
 He'd have stopped a check."
 
 I68 NOT A BAD DEAL. 
 
 A third time he whistled, and 
 chuckled and said, "Now, I won- 
 der if old Adrian '11 make five 
 hundred and fifty out of it! Not 
 a bad deal, Peter, my boy!"
 
 MIDDLETON'S MODEL. 
 
 IDDLETON was doing 
 very well ; everybody ad- 
 mitted that — some patron- 
 izingly, others enviously. And 
 yet Middleton aimed high. He 
 eschewed pot-boilers, and devoted 
 himself to important subject pic- 
 tures, often of an allegorical 
 description. Nevertheless, his 
 works sold, and that so well that 
 Middleton thought himself justi- 
 fied in taking a wife. Here, 
 again, good fortune attended him. 
 Miss Angela Dove v/as fair to see, 
 possessed of a nice little income, 
 and, finally, a lady of taste, for 
 she accepted Middleton's ad- 
 dresses. Decidedly a lucky fellow 
 169
 
 lyo MIDDLETON'S MODEL. 
 
 all round was Middleton. But, 
 in spite of all his luck, his face was 
 clouded with care as he sat in 
 his studio one summer evening. 
 Three months before he had been 
 the recipient of a most flattering 
 commission from that wealthy and 
 esteemed connoisseur the Earl of 
 Moneyton. The earl desired two 
 panels for his hall. "I want," he 
 wrote, "two full-length female 
 figures — the one representing 
 Heavenly Love, the other Earthly 
 Love. Not a very new subject, 
 you will say; but I have a fancy 
 for it, and I can rely on your 
 talent to impart freshness even to 
 a well-worn theme." 
 
 Of course there was no difficulty 
 about Heavenly Love. Angela 
 filled the bill (the expression was 
 Middleton's own) to a nicety. 
 Her pretty golden hair, her sweet 
 smile, her candid blue eyes, were
 
 MIDDLETON'S MODEL. I?! 
 
 exactly what was wanted. Mid- 
 dleton clapped on a pair of wings, 
 and felt that he had done his duty. 
 But when he came to Earthly 
 Love the path was not so smooth. 
 The earl demanded the acme of 
 physical beatuy, and that was 
 rather hard to find. Middleton 
 tried all the models in vain; he 
 frequented the theaters and music- 
 halls to no purpose; he tried to 
 combine all the beauties of his 
 acquaintance in one harmonious 
 whole, but they did not make 
 what tea-dealers call a "nice 
 blend." Then he tried to evolve 
 Earthly Love out of his own con- 
 sciousness, but he could get 
 nothing there but Angela again; 
 and although he did violence to 
 his feelings by giving her black 
 hair and an evil cast in her eye, 
 he knew that, even thus trans- 
 formed, she would not satisfy the
 
 172 MIDDLETON'S MODEL. 
 
 earl. Middleton was in despair; 
 his reputation was at stake. The 
 thought of Angela could not con- 
 sole him. 
 
 "I'd give my soul for a model!" 
 cried he, flinging aside his pencil 
 in despair. 
 
 At this moment he heard a 
 knock at the door. He existed 
 on the charwoman system, and 
 after six o'clock in the evening 
 had to open his own door. A 
 lady stood outside, and a neat 
 brougham was vanishing round 
 the corner. Even in the darkness 
 Middleton was struck by the 
 grace and dignity of his visitor's 
 figure. 
 
 "Mr. Middleton's, is it not?" 
 she asked, in a very sweet voice. 
 
 Middleton bowed. It was late 
 for a call, but if the lady ignored 
 that fact, he could not remind her 
 of it. Fortunately there was no
 
 MIDDLETON'S MODEL. 173 
 
 chance of Angela coming at such 
 an hour. He led the way to his 
 studio. 
 
 "May I ask," he began, "to 
 what I am indebted for this 
 honor?" 
 
 "I see you like coming to busi- 
 ness directly," she answered, her 
 neatly gloved hands busy unpin- 
 ning her veil. She seemed to find 
 the task a little difficult. 
 
 "You see, it's rather late," said 
 Middleton. 
 
 "Not at all. I am only just 
 up. Well, then, to business. I 
 hear you want a model for an 
 Earthly Love." 
 
 "Exactly. May I ask if 
 you " 
 
 "If I am a model? Oh, now 
 and then — not habitually." 
 
 "You know my requirements 
 are somewhat hard to fulfill?" 
 
 "I can fulfill them," and she
 
 174 MIDDLETON'S MODEL. 
 
 raised her veil. She certainly 
 could. She realized his wildest 
 dreams — the wildest dream of poets 
 and painters since the world began. 
 Middleton stood half-stupefied be- 
 fore her. 
 
 "Well, shall I do?" she asked, 
 turning her smile on him. 
 
 Middleton felt as if it were a 
 battery of guns, as he answered 
 that he would be the happiest 
 painter in the world if she would 
 honor him. 
 
 "Head only, of course," she 
 continued. 
 
 "Of course," said he hastily; 
 "unless, that is, you will give me 
 hands and arms too." 
 
 "I think not. My hands are 
 not so good." And she glanced 
 at her kid gauntlets with a 
 smile. 
 
 "And — er — as to terms?" he 
 stammered.
 
 MIDDLETON'S MODEL. 175 
 
 "Oh, the usual terms," she 
 answered briskly. 
 
 Middleton hinted at pre-pay- 
 ment. 
 
 "I'm not allowed to take that," 
 she said. "Come, I will ask for 
 what I want when the time comes. 
 You won't refuse me?" 
 
 "It's a little vague," he said, 
 with an uneasy laugh. 
 
 "Oh, I can go away." And 
 she turned toward the door. 
 
 "Whatever you like," he cried 
 hastily. 
 
 "Ah, that's better. I shall not 
 take anything of great value." 
 
 She gave him her hand. He 
 ventured on a slight pressure. 
 The lady did not seem to notice 
 it, and her hand lay quite motion- 
 less in his. 
 
 "To-morrow, then?" he said. 
 
 "Yes. I won't trouble you to 
 call a cab. I shall walk."
 
 176 MIDDLETON'S MODEL. 
 
 "Have you far to go?" 
 
 "Oh, some little way; but it's 
 an easy road." 
 
 "Can't I escort you?" 
 
 "Not to-night. Some day, I 
 hope" — and she stepped into the 
 street and disappeared round the 
 corner. 
 
 Punctually the next day she re- 
 appeared. Apart from her incom- 
 parable beauty — and every time 
 she came, Middleton was more 
 convinced that it was incompa- 
 rable — she was a charming com- 
 panion. She was very well read, 
 and her knowledge of the world 
 was wonderful. 
 
 "I wish it wasn't rude to ask 
 your age!" he exclaimed one day. 
 
 "Ah, I am older than I look. 
 My work keeps me young." 
 
 "Are you very busy, then?" 
 
 "I am always busy. But I 
 don't grudge the time I give to
 
 MIDDLETON'S MODEL. Ill 
 
 you. No, don't thank me. I am 
 to be paid, you know." And she 
 laughed merrily. If there were a 
 flaw in her, it was her laugh. 
 Middleton thought it rather a 
 cruel laugh. 
 
 "Do you know," he resumed, 
 "you have never told me your 
 name yet." 
 
 "I am here incognita." 
 
 "You will tell me some day?" 
 
 "Yes, you shall know some 
 day." 
 
 "Before we part forever?" 
 
 "Perhaps we shall not part — 
 forever." 
 
 Middleton said he hoped not; 
 but what would Angela say? 
 
 "My name is not so pretty a 
 one as your fiancee's^" the lady 
 continued. 
 
 "How do you know I am en- 
 gaged?" 
 
 "I always know that sort of
 
 178 MIDDLETON'S MODEL. 
 
 thing. It's so useful. Angela 
 Dove, isn't it?" 
 
 "Yes; I hope you like it?" 
 
 "To be candid, not very much. 
 It happens to have unpleasant 
 associations." 
 
 It was fortunate that Angela 
 was staying out of town. Middle- 
 ton felt that the two ladies would 
 not have got on well together; 
 
 and He checked himself 
 
 in shame; for his thought had 
 been that not even for Angela 
 could he send the stranger away. 
 Middleton struggled against the 
 treacherous passion that grew 
 upon him ; but he struggled in 
 vain. He was guilty of postpon- 
 ing the finishing of his panel as 
 long as he could. At last the lady 
 grew impatient. 
 
 "I shall not come after to-day," 
 she announced. "You can finish 
 it to-day."
 
 MIDDLETON'S MODEL. 179 
 
 "Oh, hardly!" he protested. 
 
 "I'll stay late; but I can't come 
 again." 
 
 Middleton worked hard, and by 
 evening the panel was finished. 
 
 "A thousand thanks," he said. 
 "And now you'll have something 
 to eat, won't you?" 
 
 She agreed, and they sat down 
 to a merry meal. The lady sur- 
 passed herself in brilliancy, and 
 her mad gayety infected Middle- 
 ton. Forgetful of his honor and 
 allegiance, he leaned over to toast 
 his guest, with a passionate gaze in 
 his eyes. Insensibly the evening 
 sped away ; suddenly the clock 
 struck twelve. 
 
 "I am going now," she said. 
 
 "Ah, you won't leave me!" 
 cried Middleton. 
 
 "For the moment." 
 
 "But when shall I see you 
 again?"
 
 l8o MlDDLETON,'S MODEL. 
 
 "As soon as you like, but not 
 later than you must." 
 
 "You are charmingly mysteri- 
 ous. Tell me where you are go- 
 ing?" 
 
 "To ray home." 
 
 "If you won't come to me, I 
 shall come to you," he insisted. 
 
 "Yes, you will come to me," 
 she answered, smiling. 
 
 "And we shall be together?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "As long as ever I like?" 
 
 "Yes— longer." 
 
 "Impossible! Eternity would 
 not be too long." 
 
 "Nous verrons^" said she, with 
 a laugh. 
 
 "At least you will write? 
 You'll send me your picture?" 
 
 "I never write, and you have 
 my picture." 
 
 "And another in my heart," he 
 cried hotly.
 
 MIDDLEtON'S MODEL. 
 
 ISI 
 
 "I have tried to put it there." 
 "But give me some token — any- 
 thing—a ribbon— a glove— any- 
 thing." 
 
 "Well, let it be a glove. As I 
 go I will give you a glove." 
 
 She rose from her chair and 
 
 rested her right hand on the table. 
 
 "Till we meet again!" she said. 
 
 "I am yours for ever!" he cried, 
 
 seizing her hand. 
 
 "True! true!" she answered 
 triumphantly. "You are mine for- 
 ever!" and with a sudden move- 
 ment she drew her arm away from 
 him and left on the table— her 
 glove, was it, or her hand? It 
 seemed her very hand! and as 
 Middleton looked up he had a 
 vision of a blood-red claw shaken 
 in his face, and devilish laughter 
 rattled in his ears. The lady was 
 gone, and Middleton fell full 
 length on his studio floor.
 
 102 MIDDLETON'S MODEL. 
 
 Middleton is a very devoted 
 husband to Angela Dove. When 
 he is well and cheerful, he blames 
 himself for having made love to a 
 model, and laughs at himself for 
 having been fool enough to fancy 
 — well, all sorts of rubbish. But 
 when he is out of sorts he does not 
 like to be complimented on his 
 figure of Earthly Love, and he 
 gives a shudder if he happens to 
 come across an article which lies 
 hidden in his cupboard — a perfect 
 model of the human hand covered 
 with black kid; the model is hol- 
 low, and there is a curious black 
 mark inside it. 
 
 And the earl? The earl was 
 delighted with the panel. 
 
 "Was she a professional 
 model?" he asked. 
 
 "She made it a matter of busi- 
 ness with me," said Middleton un- 
 easily. It was one of his bad days.
 
 MIDDLETOX'S MODEL. 1S3 
 
 "I must know that girl," con- 
 tinued the earl, with a cunning 
 look in his eye. 
 
 "I expect you will some day." 
 
 "What's her name?" 
 
 ' 'I don't know. She didn't tell 
 me." 
 
 "Didn't she sign anything when 
 you paid her?" 
 
 "I haven't paid her yet." 
 
 "But you're going to?" 
 
 "I — I suppose so," answered 
 Middleton. 
 
 "Well, you'll find out who she 
 is then. And, I say, Middleton, 
 just let me know." 
 
 "I will if I can — unless you've 
 found it out before." 
 
 The earl took up his hat with a 
 sigh. 
 
 ' 'A glorious creature ! " he said. 
 "I hope I shall see her sometime." 
 
 "I think it's ver>' likely, my 
 lord," said Middleton.
 
 184 MIDDLETON S MODEL. 
 
 "Have you any notion where 
 she comes from?" 
 
 Middleton compromised. He 
 said he understood that the lady 
 was from Monte Carlo.
 
 MY ASTRAL BODY= 
 
 HERE'S no doubt at all 
 about it," said the rajah, 
 relighting his cigar. 
 "It's perfectly easy, if you know 
 how to do it. The skepticism of 
 the West is nothing less than dis- 
 gusting." 
 
 The rajah had come to Oxford 
 to complete his education and 
 endue himself with the culture of 
 Europe; and he sat in my rooms, 
 in a frock-coat of perfect cut (he 
 always wore a frock-coat), smok- 
 ing one of my weeds and drink- 
 ing a whisky-and-soda. The rajah 
 took to European culture with 
 avidity, and I have very little 
 doubt that he learned many new 
 185
 
 l86 MY ASTRAL BODY. 
 
 things with which it might or might 
 not be expedient to acquaint his 
 fellow-countrymen and subjects 
 when he returned to India. But 
 all the intellectual interests of 
 Oxford were not strong enough to 
 wean him from his love for the 
 ancient lore of his own country, 
 and he was always ready to ex- 
 pound the hidden wisdom of the 
 East to any inquiring spirit. As 
 soon as I found this out, I culti- 
 vated his acquaintance sedulously; 
 for, in common with all intelligent 
 men of the present day, I took a 
 keen interest in that strange learn- 
 ing which seemed to give its pos- 
 sessors such extraordinary powers. 
 
 "Can you do it?" I asked. 
 
 "I should hope so," said the 
 rajah contemptuously. "If I 
 couldn't do that, I'd turn Mahom- 
 medan." 
 
 "I wish you'd teach me,"
 
 MV ASTRAL BODY. 1 87 
 
 The rajah took in a deep puff 
 of smoke. "You're sure you 
 could manage it?" he asked. 
 
 "I beg your pardon?" 
 
 "Well, of course, like anything 
 else, an astral body must be 
 treated with tact, or it gets out of 
 hand." 
 
 "Does it?" 
 
 "Why, yes; you must be firm 
 and yet kind. Don't let it take 
 liberties, or you don't know where 
 it will land you. I rather doubt 
 if I ought to show you." 
 , I implored him to do so. I was 
 young, rash, self-confident, and I 
 thought I could manage an astral 
 body as easily as I did the dean. 
 
 "Don't blame me if you find it 
 too much for you, that's all," said 
 the rajah. "And of course you 
 must promise not to tell anyone." 
 
 "Oh, must I?" 
 
 "Yes, you must; because it's
 
 l88 MV ASTRAL BODY. 
 
 quite irregular in me to show you 
 like this. You ought, by rights, 
 you know, to go to Thibet for 
 seven years," 
 
 "That would be rather a bore." 
 
 ■'Beastly,'* said the rajah; "but 
 of course they insist on it, be- 
 cause they get the fees." 
 
 He swore me to secrecy by all 
 manner of oaths, and lastly on my 
 word as a gentleman; and then 
 he showed me. I practiced all 
 that evening, and was tolerably 
 proficient by the time the rajah 
 knocked out his last pipe and went 
 off to bed. I must not tell how 
 it is done, as I promised not to ; 
 besides, if anyone reads this nar- 
 rative through, he will never want 
 to know. 
 
 At first it was very convenient. 
 I always used to project it to 
 chapel instead of going myself. 
 It did capitally there, because it
 
 MV ASTRAL BODY. 189 
 
 had only to behave itself and hold 
 its tongue. At lectures it was a 
 failure ; it was such an inattentive 
 beggar that its notes were worth 
 nothing. And it was no sort of 
 use in the Torpid ; I was told that 
 I should be turned out if I went 
 on "sugaring" like that — there's 
 no pluck or endurance in these 
 Orientals. On the whole, how- 
 ever, I was very well satisfied with 
 it, and came to rely upon it more 
 and more for all the unpleasant 
 duties of life. 
 
 "Well, how do you like it?" 
 asked the rajah one day in Quad. 
 
 "My dear fellow, it's splendid," 
 I answered. "It's up in town, 
 being measured for trousers, now. 
 You can't think how much trouble 
 it saves." 
 
 The rajah smiled and shook his 
 head. 
 
 "Be moderate," he said. "You
 
 igo MV ASTRAL BODY. 
 
 mustn't use it too much, or it '11 
 presume on it," 
 
 "Will it? What will it do?" 
 "Why, if it's always being pro- 
 jected, it's as likely as not it '11 
 learn the trick of it, and take to 
 projecting itself. Then you'll be 
 left in the lurch." 
 
 "What shall I do then?" 
 "I don't see what you can do," 
 said the rajah, scratching his head. 
 "Of course, I should merely re- 
 port it at headquarters; but you 
 can't, because you've no business 
 with it at all." 
 
 "Well, I shan't grudge it a 
 holiday now and then," I said 
 magnanimously. 
 
 The rajah Avas right. It did 
 begin to take French leave. 
 Several times when I wanted it I 
 found it had, without a word of 
 apology, projected itself off to 
 Iffley or somewhere, and was not
 
 MV ASTRAL BODY. IQ^ 
 
 available. I spoke very severely 
 to it. It said nothing, but list- 
 ened with an unpleasant sort of 
 smile. ' ' We all have our duties, ' ' 
 I remarked, "and yours is to be 
 here" — and I pointed to my chest 
 — "when you are wanted. You're 
 as bad as a scout." 
 
 "I ought to have a little relax^:- 
 tion," it answered sulkily. 
 
 "I never heard of such a thing 
 in connection with you. Isn't it 
 enough for you to meditate in four 
 dimensions when you're not at 
 work? That would satisfy most 
 people." 
 
 "It's all very well in Thibet," it 
 grumbled; "but a fellow doesn't 
 come to Oxford to do that." 
 
 "One would think you had noth- 
 ing to do with me. You seem to 
 forget that you are simply a pro- 
 jection of mine." 
 
 We had some high words and
 
 192 MV ASTRAL BODY, 
 
 parted — I mean, united — in very- 
 bad temper with one another. It 
 was in the middle of a most imper- 
 tinent and positively threatening 
 speech, when I terminated the in- 
 terview by resuming it. It was 
 very unreasonable and irritating, 
 and I made up my mind to ask the 
 rajah to speak to it the next morn- 
 ing. I had an engagement that 
 evening, or I would have done it 
 then. How I wish I had! 
 
 At half-past nine I went to an 
 "At Home" at Professor Dray- 
 ton's, As a rule, "At Homes" 
 are dull; but I had a reason for 
 going to this one. The professor 
 had a very pretty daughter, and I 
 was vain enough to think that my 
 presence was welcome to her. In 
 fact, we were great friends, and I 
 had not been at the house a quarter 
 of an hour before I had forgotten 
 all my worries with my unruly
 
 MV ASTRAL BODY. 193 
 
 Astral Body, and was sitting by 
 Bessie in the small drawing room, 
 enjoying myself immensely. Sud- 
 denly — mysteriously — I felt some- 
 thing like a violent push. Bessie 
 vanished; the drawing room van- 
 ished; and I found myself in the 
 High, standing in dripping rain, 
 without a hat or coat. I stood 
 still in bewilderment. What had 
 happened? A moment later the 
 proctor was upon me. I gave my 
 name and college in a mechanical 
 way, and he passed on, leaving me 
 still standing in the rain. What 
 had happened? Then it flashed 
 across my mind. I understood its 
 threats. It had projected me! 
 
 I woke up next morning, deter- 
 mined to have it out with it. I 
 found, as I expected, that it had 
 waited till I was asleep; then it 
 slunk in and united without my 
 knowing it. I went and paid my
 
 l94 ^y ASTRAL BODV. 
 
 fine, and then, not waiting to 
 breakfast, I proceeded to project 
 it. It wouldn't move! I tried 
 again and again. I had no more 
 power over it than a child. I 
 knew it was there ; but I could not 
 move it an inch. In wrath, I 
 jumped up, seized my cap, and 
 started for the rajah's rooms. 
 The rogue saw what I was up to. 
 I give you my word, I had not 
 reached the door when it projected 
 me most viciously, and I landed 
 down in the Parks. 
 
 I was not to be beaten. I came 
 back to college at a run, and made 
 straight for the rajah's rooms. It 
 was on the lookout for me. As 
 I ran by my oak, which I had to 
 pass, it rushed out on me, united, 
 and projected me back again to 
 Magdalen Bridge. This hap- 
 pened three times. Then I sat 
 down in the Parks, just where I
 
 Mr ASTRAL BODY. ^95 
 
 dropped, and acknowledged to 
 myself that I was in a pretty fix. 
 
 I had a fearful week of it. Of 
 course, wherever I was, it could 
 unite at once by just thinking of 
 me; and, directly it had united, 
 it used, I believe out of pure 
 malice, to project me somewhere 
 where I did not want to go. It 
 was lucky for me that it was new 
 to the business; its powers were 
 as yet very undeveloped, and, 
 consequently, it did not carry very 
 far. If it could, I am sure it 
 would have sent me to the Anti- 
 podes; but as it was, I never 
 went further than the University 
 boat-house— a pretty tidy step on 
 a bad morning. Still, it was im- 
 proving; and I felt that I must 
 act at once if I did not want to be 
 a permanent wanderer on the face 
 of the earth. 
 
 My only chance was to engross
 
 196 71/ K ASTRAL BODY. 
 
 its attention in some way, so that 
 it would forget me for a little 
 while, and leave me free to speak 
 to the rajah. I pinned all my 
 hopes on the rajah. Well, one 
 morning, about a week after it 
 first projected me, I went for a 
 walk in Christchurch Meadow. 
 We were united, and it had actu- 
 ally left me in peace ever since 
 breakfast. I hoped its better 
 feelings were beginning to get the 
 mastery of it, and, in order to see, 
 I tried to project it. No, it 
 wouldn't move! The creature 
 was still recalcitrant. 
 
 Suddenly I saw Bessie Drayton 
 just in front of me. In delight 
 at seeing her, I forgot about it, 
 and, quickening my pace, over- 
 took her, and lifted my hat. She 
 smiled divinely, saying, "Why, 
 Mr. Nares, I just going to 
 write " At that moment.
 
 MV ASTRAL BODY. 197 
 
 when I was listening to her sweet 
 voice, it projected me I Could 
 ill-nature go further? But, luckily, 
 its mind Avas not really concen- 
 trated on what it was doing. I 
 believe it was thinking of Bessie, 
 and consequently it only carried 
 about a hundred yards. I landed 
 behind one of the big elms, where 
 I lay perdu till it had gone by. 
 It and Bessie passed me together, 
 and it was grinning from ear to 
 ear, and looked as pleased as 
 Punch. And poor Bessie, who 
 thought she was talking to me, 
 was being most charming to it. 
 
 I did not waste time in swearing. 
 I ran like the wind back to college, 
 hoping that Bessie's society would 
 prevent it coming after me till I 
 had spoken to the rajah. I still 
 retained one pull over it. In 
 order to unite, it had to come 
 where I was; it could not resume
 
 igS MV ASTRAL BODY. 
 
 me from a distance, as I used to 
 resume it; so if it united now it 
 would have to leave Bessie. 
 
 By a blessed chance, the rajah 
 was at home, and in trembling 
 haste I poured my story into his 
 ear. He burst out laughing. 
 
 "I was afraid of it!" he gasped, 
 holding his sides. "How splen- 
 did!" 
 
 I restrained my annoyance, and 
 after a time he became a little 
 more grave. 
 
 "Do help me!" I urged. "It 
 may unite at any moment, and 
 project me the deuce knows 
 where." 
 
 "Oh, it '11 be all right with the 
 young lady." 
 
 "Not for long. She's very par- 
 ticular, and won't let it walk far 
 with her." 
 
 "Oh, then we must act. You 
 don't feel it yet?"
 
 MV ASTRAL BODY. 199 
 
 "No; but do be quick!" 
 The rajah sported his oak, took 
 off his coat, lay down on the floor, 
 and went into strong convulsions. 
 I regretted putting him to so 
 much trouble, but my need was 
 urgent, and I knew that he was a 
 good-natured man. Presently he 
 cried (and I was just getting 
 alarmed about him) : 
 
 "Are you there, Nani-Tal?" 
 "Certainly," said an old white- 
 haired gentleman, dressed in a 
 sheet, who sat in the rajah's arm- 
 chair. 
 
 "That's all right," said the 
 rajah, getting up and putting on his 
 coat. "You were very difficult." 
 "We're so busy just now," said 
 Nani-Tal apologetically. "I'm 
 demonstrating three nights a 
 week, and the preparations take 
 all my time." 
 
 "Well, you can't have a boom
 
 200 MY ASTRAL BODY. 
 
 for nothing," said the rajah, smil- 
 ing. 
 
 "I don't complain," said Nani- 
 Tal; "I only mentioned it to ex- 
 cuse myself for keeping you wait- 
 ing. I was in New York when 
 you began materializing. It's a 
 lively city." 
 
 "You must tell him all about 
 it," said the rajah to me; "he 
 won't be very hard on us." 
 
 Nani-Tal was, however, rather 
 severe. He said it was too bad of 
 the rajah. How were they to live, 
 if that sort of thing went on? 
 Then he turned to me, and added, 
 "Of course you couldn't manage 
 it. If you'd gone through the 
 course, you would have been all 
 right. But there, it's everything 
 for nothing nowadays!" 
 
 "My friend couldn't go to 
 Thibet." 
 
 "He might have paid the fees
 
 A/y ASTRAL BODY. 20I 
 
 anyhow," grumbled Nani-Tal, 
 "and taken correspondence les- 
 sons." 
 
 We smoothed him down with 
 the promise of a handsome dona- 
 tion, and at last he consented to 
 help us. It was only just in time, 
 for at that very moment I felt my 
 Astral Body uniting, A second 
 later it made a violent effort to 
 project me; of course, it saw 
 Nani-Tal, and knew it was in for 
 it. The old gentleman was too 
 quick for it. 
 
 "Come out of that!" he cried 
 imperiously, and the wretch stood 
 in the middle of the room. 
 
 It did my heart good to hear 
 Nani-Tal fall on the creature. 
 After giving it no end of a lecture, 
 he concluded, "And now, young 
 man, you'll just go back to your 
 jackal for a thousand years, and 
 learn better manners."
 
 202 MV ASTRAL BODY. 
 
 The wretch protested; it asked 
 for an elephant or even a tiger, 
 Nani-Tal was obdurate. 
 
 "A jackal will just suit you," 
 he said. "Be off!" The crea- 
 ture vanished. Simultaneously 
 Nani-Tal began to disintegrate. 
 
 "Wait a bit!" cried the rajah. 
 
 'T can't, I'm summoned to St. 
 James' Hall. There's a large 
 audience, and the professor has 
 been in convulsions seven min- 
 utes." 
 
 I tried to grasp his hand in 
 thanks. 'Tf you want another," 
 he said, "you must go through the 
 course — the full course. There's 
 no other way. Let this be a les- 
 son to you." And with this part- 
 ing remark he disintegrated. 
 
 The rajah lit a cigar, and I, 
 lighter at heart than I had been 
 for many days, followed his ex- 
 ample.
 
 Jliy ASTRAL BODY. 203 
 
 "It was wrong of me," said the 
 rajah; "I won't do it again." 
 
 "It's a pity it turned out so 
 badly, " I remarked ; "it was quite 
 a comfort at first." 
 
 "They're all like that, unless 
 you keep a tight hand on them. 
 Shall you take the course?" 
 
 "Not I. I've had enough of 
 it." 
 
 "Perhaps you're right. Excuse 
 me; I have to go to the Deccan 
 on business." 
 
 He fell back on the sofa, appar- 
 ently in a trance, and I went off 
 to the dean's lecture. It makes 
 all the difference whether you 
 know how to do a thing or not.
 
 THE NEBRASKA LOAD- 
 STONE. 
 
 F there was one man in 
 
 college whom the rajah 
 thoroughly and heartily 
 detested, it was the captain of the 
 boat club. He had many faults; 
 he was very tall and powerful, and 
 delighted in contrasting the Eng- 
 lish physique with that of inferior 
 races; by which he meant, among 
 others, the rajah's race. His 
 manner was abrupt and overbear- 
 ing, his laugh loud and unmusical. 
 In fact, he grated horribly on the 
 rajah ; and it was merely the final 
 straw when, in the exhilaration of 
 a bump supper, — full, as the rajah 
 remarked in disgust, of cow and 
 204
 
 THE NEBRASKA LOADSTONE. 205 
 
 Strong drink, — he called that 
 prince, in playful chaff, a "nig- 
 ger." The rajah swore melodi- 
 ously in Hindustani, and I saw 
 that he meant to be revenged. 
 
 In those days the entertainment 
 of the Nebraska Loadstone created 
 ?i furore. Everybody went to see 
 her, and everybody came away 
 convinced that she possessed mar- 
 velous powers. Her peculiar gift 
 — but everybody remembers the 
 details of the performance, and 
 how the tricks were finally, one by 
 one, exposed, so that her adherents 
 and believers were driven from 
 one position to another, until at 
 last they had to fall back on one 
 single performance out of all those 
 that the Loadstone gave, and main- 
 tain that on that occasion at least 
 something unexplained and inex- 
 plicable did really happen. It is 
 with the events of that particular
 
 205 THE NEBRASKA LOADSTONE. 
 
 evening that I am concerned. I 
 think I can throw some light on 
 them. 
 
 At first, however, there were 
 many believers and few skeptics. 
 The dean carefully pointed out 
 that Plato nowhere denied the 
 existence of odic force; and the 
 bursar, who was generally sup- 
 posed to be little better than an 
 atheist, declared that Spencer in 
 one passage impliedly asserted it; 
 even the warden, in his sermon, 
 told us that it was better, accord- 
 ing to Bacon, to believe two errors 
 than refuse one truth — which was, 
 to say the least of it, sitting on the 
 fence. Rut none of these authori- 
 ties shook the robust skepticism of 
 the captain of the boat club. He 
 knew a conjurer, and the conjurer 
 had told him how it was done, and 
 he was going to expose the Load- 
 stone,
 
 THE NEBRASKA LOADSTONE. 20? 
 
 "But why haven't you?" I 
 urged. "She's been here a week." 
 
 "He will not be too hard on her 
 at first," said the rajah, with a 
 little sneer, 
 
 "I'll bust her up this very 
 night," said Waterer. "I would 
 have done it before, only I was 
 gated." 
 
 The excuse was good, and 
 Waterer departed, full of boastings 
 and self-confidence, to gather to- 
 gether a large number of the noisy 
 men, and make a pleasant party to 
 "guy" the unhappy Loadstone. I 
 stayed to smoke a pipe with the 
 rajah. 
 
 "Of course she's a fraud," said 
 he; "and I believe that animal 
 really has got hold of the right 
 explanation." 
 
 "I shall go and see it," I an- 
 nounced. 
 
 After a moment's silent smok-
 
 2o8 THE NEBRASKA LOADSTONE. 
 
 ing, the rajah looked up with a 
 twinkle in his eye. "So shall I — 
 if niggers are admitted." 
 
 After hall, he and I set out 
 together for the town hall. We 
 found the first two rows of stalls 
 occupied by Waterer and his 
 friends. They were all in evening 
 dress, and had obviously dined — 
 not in hall. The rajah and I 
 seated ourselves just behind them. 
 The room was full, and the feats 
 were being most successful ; each 
 was followed by general applause, 
 broken only by some gibes from 
 our friends in front. These latter 
 grew so pronounced that the Load- 
 stone's manager at last came for- 
 ward and pointedly invited one of 
 the scoffers to submit himself to 
 experiment. 
 
 Now was Waterer' s chance. 
 He rose in the majesty of his bulk, 
 walked on to the platform, and
 
 THE NEBRASKA LOADSTONE. 20g 
 
 said in a loud voice, as he settled 
 himself on a chair, "If the lady 
 can move me one foot from this 
 chair, I'll give her a pony!" 
 
 The Loadstone advanced and 
 began to paw him about in her 
 usual fashion. Waterer, who was 
 sober enough to have lost nothing 
 but his shyness, was apparently 
 too many for her. He was im- 
 movable; and cries of, "Now 
 then ! when are you going to 
 begin?" and so on, became 
 audible. Two or three minutes 
 passed, and the Loadstone turned 
 with a gesture of despair toward 
 her manager. 
 
 "I can't " she began. 
 
 I jumped to my feet, crying, 
 "Wait a minute! Look!" 
 
 For even as she spoke, there 
 was what is scientifically called a 
 solution of continuity between 
 Waterer and his chair. Still in
 
 210 THE NEBRASKA LOADSTONE. 
 
 a sitting posture, but sitting on 
 nothing, he was at least two inches 
 from the wicker-work of the chair, 
 I glanced from him to the rajah. 
 That extraordinary man was in 
 deep, placid, profound slumber. 
 I jogged his elbow and pinched 
 his arm; he showed no conscious- 
 ness whatever, I looked at the 
 Loadstone. She was standing 
 motionless on the stage about a 
 yard from Waterer, Avith one hand 
 outstretched toward him, and her 
 eyes fixed on his ascending figure; 
 for Waterer was gradually, slowly, 
 steadily mounting in his strange 
 journey. He was now a foot from 
 his chair, still in a sitting posi- 
 tion — and up, up, up he was go- 
 ing. The wretch was white as a 
 sheet, and gasping with fright and 
 bewilderment. Thunders of ap- 
 plause burst from the audience. 
 It was again and again renewed ;
 
 THE NEBRASKA LOADSTONE. 211 
 
 but the Loadstone did not, as her 
 custom was, bow and smile in 
 response. She still stood motion- 
 less, and Waterer still ascended. 
 
 At last, at a height of fully 
 twenty feet from the stage, he 
 stopped. Simultaneously the 
 Loadstone gave a loud shriek as 
 she fell back into the arms of the 
 manager — and the rajah awoke. 
 
 "I beg your pardon," he said 
 politely; "I was drowsy. Any- 
 thing going on?" 
 
 "No; he's stopped now," I 
 answered, my eyes eagerly fixed 
 on Waterer. 
 
 The rajah rose from his seat 
 with a yawn. "There'll be 
 nothing more to-night," he said. 
 "Let's go home." 
 
 "Go home, man! — with that 
 before our eyes!" 
 
 The rajah shrugged his shoul- 
 ders.
 
 212 THE NEBRASKA LOADSTONE. 
 
 "She won't do anything more," 
 he repeated. "Look at her; she's 
 quite done up." 
 
 And, indeed, the Loadstone 
 looked half dead as she gazed 
 fearfully up at Waterer. Her 
 demeanor was not that of a 
 triumphant performer. 
 
 "Do sit down," I urged; "we 
 must see the end of it." 
 
 With a weary sigh, the rajah sat 
 down, saying, "I'm not sure you 
 will, you know." 
 
 While we talked, the audience 
 grew impatient. However won- 
 derful a feat may be, the public 
 likes to have things kept moving. 
 They thought Waterer had been 
 in the air long enough, and there 
 were cries of "That 'lido! Let 
 him down!" "Give us another." 
 
 The manager held a hasty con- 
 ference with the Loadstone: he 
 semeed to urge her; but she
 
 THE NEBRASKA LOADSTONE. 213 
 
 shook her head again and again, 
 and would do nothing but lie back 
 in a chair, and pass her hand to 
 and fro over her head. The rajah 
 looked at her with a slight smile. 
 The clamor increased. I think a 
 sort of panic — an angry panic — 
 seized the audience. 
 
 "Bring him down! Bring him 
 down!" they cried, pointing to 
 the pallid Waterer, who sat as 
 rigid as a trussed fowl. 
 
 After another despairing appeal 
 to the Loadstone, the manager 
 came forward and made a lame 
 speech. The Loadstone was ex- 
 hausted with her unparalleled 
 exertions. She must rest; pres- 
 ently she would bring him down. 
 Then Waterer's friends arose and 
 ascended the platform. They 
 walked about, they stood on one 
 another's shoulders; they made it 
 clear that no cords held Waterer.
 
 214 THE NEBRASKA LOADSTONE. 
 
 A pair of steps was called for and 
 brought. Placed on a sturdy 
 table, they just enabled a man 
 to reach Waterer's feet. One 
 mounted amidst intense excite- 
 ment. Turning to the rajah, I- 
 exclaimed, "Look I" 
 
 He was asleep again ; and the 
 Loadstone stood stiffly upright, 
 beckoning toward Waterer. Slowly 
 and gradually he descended, leav- 
 ing the man on the ladder grasp- 
 ing at empty air, till he sat again 
 on his seat. The applause burst 
 out, and the Loadstone sank back 
 in a faint on the floor. The rajah 
 awoke, and the manager dropped 
 the curtain, hiding the Loadstone, 
 Waterer, and his friends from 
 our view. 
 
 "Give me your arm," said the 
 rajah; "lam tired." I escorted 
 him to a cab, and we drove home. 
 
 The Loadstone gave no per-
 
 THE NEBRASKA LOADSTONE. 215 
 
 formance the next evening: she 
 was too fatigued ; and Waterer 
 was absent from the boat and 
 from the sight of men two days. 
 When he reappeared he made no 
 reference to his friend the con- 
 jurer. He slunk about the Quad, 
 looking very pale and upset. I 
 met him once, when I was with the 
 rajah, on our way to lecture. The 
 rajah smiled urbanely at Waterer, 
 and said tome, when he had passed: 
 
 "It's such a rude thing to call a 
 gentleman a nigger, isn't it?" 
 
 Waterer has not done it again. 
 And the Loadstone never did that 
 trick again. She took the pony, 
 though. The manager called on 
 Waterer, and asked for a check. 
 I think that incident pleased the 
 rajah most of all. 
 
 "It is a ready utilization of the 
 unexpected, ' ' he remarked, "which 
 does our friend much credit."
 
 A SUCCESSFUL REHEARSAL 
 
 R. ALOYSIUS TAP- 
 PEN HAM, of Stamford 
 Road, was a dealer in 
 frauds. It must not be under- 
 stood from this statement that he 
 was either a company-promoter or 
 the manager of a philanthropic 
 undertaking. On the contrarj^, 
 he was as honest a man of busi- 
 ness as you would find in London, 
 and he earned his living by dis- 
 covering and introducing new 
 attractions in the shape of "Won- 
 ders," "Phenomenons," and so 
 forth. The music-halls were Mr. 
 Tappenham's best customers, and 
 when he successfully launched a 
 new impostor, he reaped a hand- 
 216
 
 A SUCCESSFUL REHEARSAL. 217 
 
 some return in the way of com- 
 missions on the salary of the im- 
 postor and the profits of the en- 
 trepreneur. All his protege's were 
 a success — a fact chiefly to be at- 
 tributed to his unvarying habit of 
 insisting that he himself should be 
 shown "how it was done." He 
 promised and observed absolute 
 secrecy; but, as he always said, he 
 could not properly judge of the 
 merit of any particular fraud, un- 
 less he were allowed a private view 
 of the machinery by which it was 
 worked. Some few years ago, in 
 the very prime of life and the full 
 tide of a profitable trade, Mr, 
 Tappenham suddenly retired from 
 business. This was the reason: 
 
 One day Mr. Tappenham dis- 
 covered a treasure in the shape of 
 a very attractive young lady whose 
 name was Hopkins, but who pro- 
 posed to call herself Mile. Claire,
 
 2lS A SUCCESSFUL REHEARSAL, 
 
 Claire was hardly suitable to 
 the music-halls; Mr. Tappenham 
 thought that she was above that, 
 and proposed to "run" her him- 
 self in Bond Street, on half-profit 
 terms. Her specialty was the 
 production of any spirit you liked 
 to order. She received in a dimly 
 lighted room ; you told her who 
 you were, and whose spirit you 
 wished to interview, and forth- 
 with, without any nonsense of 
 hand-holding or table-turning, she 
 caused to appear a shadowy yet 
 clearly perceptible figure which 
 was exactly like the person you 
 named, spoke with that person's 
 voice, and exhibited full — or rea- 
 sonably full — knowledge of every- 
 thing which that person, and that 
 person only, might be expected to 
 know. 
 
 Mr. Tappenham was much 
 struck with the dexterity of this
 
 A SUCCESSFUL REHEARSAL. 219 
 
 performance. Of course, when 
 explained, it resolved itself into 
 some clever optical illusion, a little 
 ventriloquism, and a good deal 
 of tact in returning to the inquirer 
 in another form information 
 pumped out of him beforehand. 
 The materials were simple, the 
 result was highly artistic ; and Mr. 
 Tappenham determined to furnish 
 the only thing needful to set Lon- 
 don aflame with the new marvel — 
 namely, capital. However, be- 
 fore taking the last irreparable 
 step, he decided on a final trial. He 
 prepared the mise-en-schie with due 
 completeness, and invited Mile. 
 Claire to experiment on himself. 
 
 "Consider me as one of the 
 public," he said, "and give me a 
 hair-raiser." 
 
 Mile. Claire protested that he 
 was too much behind the scenes; 
 but, on being pressed, she con-
 
 220 A SUCCESSFUL REHEARSAL. 
 
 sented to try, and asked Mr. Tap- 
 penham to name his spirit. 
 
 He thought for a moment, and 
 then said, "When I was a young 
 man, I knew a girl called Nellie 
 Davies — a pretty girl, my dear. I 
 dare say I didn't treat her over 
 well; but that's neither here nor 
 there. Let's have her." 
 
 Clever little Mile. Claire asked 
 a question or two — and Mr. Tap- 
 penham admired the neat and ap- 
 parently undesigned nature of her 
 questions — and then set to work, 
 after drawing the curtains a shade 
 closer, and turning the light a 
 trifle lower. 
 
 Mr. Tappenham sat comfort- 
 ably in an armchair, his hands 
 crossed over his white waistcoat, 
 and a smile of satisfaction on 
 his face. Presently the shadowy 
 shape began to form itself a yard 
 or two from Mr. Tappenham.
 
 A SUCCESSFUL REHEARSAL. 221 
 
 ' 'Capital, capital ! " he chuckled. 
 "That '11 fetch 'em." The shape 
 grew more definite. 
 
 "Will that do?" asked Mile. 
 Claire triumphantly. " Is it like?' ' 
 
 "Now, by Jove, it is rather! 
 Make it speak." 
 
 Mile. Claire laughed, and, pro- 
 jecting her voice to the shape, 
 began in low, sweet, sad tones: 
 "You summoned me. What do 
 you desire of your dead friend?" 
 
 She stopped, laughing again, 
 and said, "It's no use, when 
 you're up to it beforehand." 
 
 Mr. Tappenham did not answer 
 her. He sat looking at the shape, 
 and seemed to be listening in- 
 tently. 
 
 "Shall I go on?" she inquired. 
 
 Mr. Tappenham took no notice. 
 
 "What's the matter with him?" 
 thought Mile. Claire. "I shan't 
 go on if he's not listening."
 
 222/1 SUCCESSFUL REHEARSAL. 
 
 Assuming her pretended voice 
 again, she said, "I will try to for- 
 give. Farewell, farewell!" and, 
 with a merry, boisterous laugh, 
 she displaced the arrangement 
 which produced the illusion, and 
 said to Mr. Tappenham: 
 
 "Now are you satisfied?" Then 
 she added, in a tone of surprise, 
 "Whatever is the matter?" For, 
 as she looked, the expression of 
 his face changed from attention 
 to surprise, from surprise to un- 
 easiness. He turned to her nnd 
 said, with a forced smile, "It's too 
 clever — a sight too clever. That '11 
 do; stop it, please." 
 
 "Stop it?" 
 
 "Yes. I've had enough. It's 
 — it's damned absurd, but it's get- 
 ting on my nerves. Stop it, I 
 say — stop it!" His voice rose at 
 the end almost into a cry. 
 
 "Why, I have stopped it this
 
 A SUCCESSFUL REHEARSAL. 223 
 
 three minutes!" she answered in 
 surprise. 
 
 His eyes had wandered from 
 her to where the shape had been; 
 but at her last words he turned to 
 her again with a start. "What? 
 No, no! No nonsense! Come, 
 now, be a good girl and stop it. 
 I've had enough." 
 
 "Are you drunk?" asked Mile, 
 Claire impatiently. "It's all 
 over." 
 
 "I won't be made a fool of," 
 said he angrily. "Stop it, or not 
 a farthing do you get from me." 
 
 "Heaven bless the man, he's 
 mad!" exclaimed the lady, who 
 began to be a little uncomfortable 
 herself. It is an eerie thing to see 
 a man looking hard at — nothing, 
 and listening intently to — nothing. 
 
 Suddenly he jumped up and 
 ran.;^ toward Mile, Claire. He 
 seized her by the arm, and cried,
 
 224/1 SUCCESSFUL REHEARSAL. 
 
 "Stop, you little devil, stop! 
 Do you want to madden me? I 
 never did it, I never did. At 
 least, I never meant it — so help 
 me, God, I never meant it." 
 
 "Mr. Tappenham, you're 
 dreaming. There's nothing there. 
 I'm saying nothing." 
 
 "She's coming! she's com- 
 ing!" he cried. "Take her 
 av/ay ! take her away ! ' ' 
 
 Mile. Claire looked at his face. 
 Then she too gave a shriek of 
 fright, and, hiding her face in her 
 hands, sank on the floor, sobbing. 
 She saw nothing. But what was 
 that face looking at? 
 
 As for Mr. Tappenham, he fled 
 into the corner of the room. And 
 when Mile. Claire recovered her- 
 self enough to draw back the cur- 
 tains, and let in the blessed sun, 
 he lay on the floor like a man 
 dead.
 
 A SUCCESSFUL REHEARSAL. 225 
 
 Mile. Claire was a good girl. 
 She had a mother and two little 
 brothers to keep : so she stuck to 
 the business ; but she never liked 
 it very much after that day. Mr. 
 Tappenham could afford to retire, 
 and he did retire. He lives very 
 quietly, and gives large sums in 
 charity. Mile. Claire knows all 
 the tricks that ever were invented ; 
 she is a thorough-going little skep- 
 tic, and believes in ^nothing that 
 she does not see, and in very little 
 of what she does. Therefore she 
 merely exemplifies feminine il- 
 logicality when she thinks to her- 
 self, as she cannot help thinking 
 now and then: 
 
 "I wonder what he did to Nellie 
 Davies!" 
 
 She told me about it, and I 
 believed her when she said that 
 she was not playing a trick on Mr. 
 Tappenham. But perhaps she
 
 226 A SUCCESSFUL REHEARSAL. 
 
 was deceiving me also ; if so, that 
 is an explanation. 
 
 I repeated the story to a scien- 
 tific man. He said that it fur- 
 nished an interesting instance of 
 the permanence of an optical im- 
 pression after the removal of the 
 external excitant. That is an- 
 other explanation. 
 
 Or it may have been the work- 
 ing of conscience: that is an 
 explanation in a way, though an 
 improbable one, because, in spite 
 of many opportunities, Mr. Tap- 
 penham's conscience had never 
 given him any inconvenience be- 
 fore It has since. 
 
 THE END.
 
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