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pp 118 1984
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L161—O-1096
PAN’S GARDEN
MACMILLAN AND CO., Limtrep
LONDON + BOMBAY + CALCUTTA
MELBOURNE
THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
NEW YORK « BOSTON + CHICAGO
DALLAS + SAN FRANCISCO
THE MACMILLAN CO. OF CANADA, Lip.
TORONTO
SARI, BSR eit Ny
PAN’S GARDEN
A VOLUME OF NATURE STORIES
BY
ALGERNON BLACKWOOD
AUTHOR OF ‘THE CENTAUR,’ ‘THE EDUCATION OF UNCLE PAUL,’
“THE HUMAN CHORD,’ ‘JIMBO, ETC.
WITH DRAWINGS BY #,. GRAHAM ROBERTSON
MACMILLAN AND CoO., LIMITED
ST. MARTIN’S STREET, LONDON
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PREFATORY NOTE
My thanks are due to the Editor of the Westminster
Gazette for permission to include in this volume
three stories, ‘The Messenger,’ ‘The Attic,’ and
‘The South Wind,’ which originally appeared in
his columns.
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CONTENTS
Tue Man wHom THE T'REES LOVED
Tue Soutrn Winp
Tue Sea Fir
Tue Arric
Tue Hearn Fire.
Tue MeEssENGER
Tue GLamour oF THE SNOW
Tue Return
SaNnD
Tue ‘TRANSFER
CLAIRVOYANCE
Tue Goxpen Fry
SpeciaL DELIVERY .
Tue Desrrucrion oF SMITH.
Tue TEMPTATION OF THE CLay
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THE MAN WHOM THE TREES
LOVED
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I
HE painted trees as by some special divining instinct
of their essential qualities. He understood them.
He knew why in an oak forest, for instance, each
individual was utterly distinct from its fellows, and
why no two beeches in the whole world were alike.
People asked him down to paint a favourite lime or
silver birch, for he caught the individuality of a tree
as some catch the individuality of a horse. How he
managed it was something of a puzzle, for he never
had painting lessons, his drawing was often wildly
inaccurate, and, while his perception of a Tree Person-
ality was true and vivid, his rendering of it might
almost approach the ludicrous. Yet the character
and personality of that particular tree stood there
alive beneath his brush—shining, frowning, dreaming,
as the case might be, friendly or hostile, good or evil.
It emerged.
There was nothing else in the wide world that he
could paint ; flowers and landscapes he only muddled
away into asmudge ; with people he was helpless and
hopeless ; also with animals. Skies he could some-
times manage, or effects of wind in foliage, but as a
rule he left these all severely alone. He kept to
trees, wisely following an instinct that was guided by
love. It was quite arresting, this way he had of
making a tree look almost like a being—alive. It
approached the uncanny.
2
4 - PAN’S GARDEN
‘Yes, Sanderson knows what he’s doing when
he paints a tree!’ thought old David Bittacy, C.B.,
late of the Woods and Forests. ‘Why, you can
almost hear it rustle. You can smell the thing.
You can hear the rain drip through its leaves. You
can almost see the branches move. It grows.’ For
in this way somewhat he expressed his satisfaction,
half to persuade himself that the twenty guineas were
well spent (since his wife thought otherwise), and half
to explain this uncanny reality of life that lay in the
fine old cedar framed above his study table.
Yet in the general view the mind of Mr. Bittacy
was held to be austere, not to say morose. Few
divined in him the secretly tenacious love of nature
that had been fostered by years spent in the
forests and jungles of the eastern world. It was
odd for an Englishman, due possibly to that
Eurasian ancestor. Surreptitiously, as though half
ashamed of it, he had kept alive a sense of
beauty that hardly belonged to his type, and was
unusual for its vitality. Trees, in particular,
nourished it. He, also, understood trees, felt a
subtle sense of communion with them, born perhaps
of those years he had lived in caring for them,
guarding, protecting, nursing, years of solitude
among their great shadowy presences. He kept it
largely to himself, of course, because he knew the
world he lived in. He also kept it from his wife—
to some extent. He knew it came between them,
knew that she feared it, was opposed. But what he
did not know, or realise at any rate, was the extent
to which she grasped the power which they wielded
over his life. Her fear, he judged, was simply due
to those years in India, when for weeks at a time
his calling took him away from her into the jungle
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 5
forests, while she remained at home dreading all
manner of evils that might befall him. This, of
course, explained her instinctive opposition to the
passion for woods that still influenced and clung to
him. It was a natural survival of those anxious days
of waiting in solitude for his safe return.
For Mrs. Bittacy, daughter of an evangelical,
clergyman, was a self-sacrificing woman, who in-
most things found a happy duty in sharing her
husband’s joys and sorrows to the point of self-
obliteration. Only in this matter of the trees she
was less successful than in others. It remained a
problem difficult of compromise.
He knew, for instance, that what she objected
to in this portrait of the cedar on their lawn was
really not the price he had given for it, but the
unpleasant way in which the transaction emphasised
this breach between their common interests—the only
one they had, but deep.
Sanderson, the artist, earned little enough money
by his strange talent; such cheques were few and
far between. The owners of fine or interesting trees
who cared to have them painted singly were rare
indeed ; and the ‘studies’ that he made for his own
delight he also kept for his own delight. Even
were there buyers, he would not sell them. Only a
few, and these peculiarly intimate friends, might even
see them, for he disliked to hear the undiscerning
criticisms of those who did not understand. Not that
he minded laughter at his craftmanship—he admitted
it with scorn—but that remarks about the personality
of the tree itself could easily wound or anger him.
He resented slighting observations concerning them,
as though insults offered to personal friends who
6 PAN’S GARDEN
could not answer for themselves. He was instantly
up in arms.
‘It really is extraordinary,’ said a Woman who
Understood, ‘that you can make that cypress seem an
individual, when in reality all cypresses are so exactly
alike.’
And though the bit of calculated flattery had
come so near to saying the right, true thing,
Sanderson flushed as though she had slighted a
friend beneath his very nose. Abruptly he passed
in front of her and turned the picture to the wall.
‘Almost as queer,’ he answered rudely, copying
her silly emphasis, ‘as that you should have imagined
individuality in your husband, Madame, when in
reality all men are so exactly alike!’
Since the only thing that differentiated her
husband from the mob was the money for which
she had married him, Sanderson’s relations with that
particular family terminated on the spot, chance of
prospective ‘orders’ with it. His sensitiveness,
perhaps, was morbid. At any rate the way to reach
his heart lay through his trees. He might be said to
love trees. He certainly drew a splendid inspiration
from them, and the source of a man’s inspiration, be
it music, religion, or a woman, is never a safe thing
to criticise.
‘I do think, perhaps, it was just a little ex-
travagant, dear,’ said Mrs. Bittacy, referring to the
cedar cheque, ‘when we want a lawn-mower so
badly too. But, as it gives you such pleasure
‘It reminds me of a certain day, Sophia,’ replied
the old gentleman, looking first proudly at herself,
then fondly at the picture, ‘now long gone by. It
reminds me of another tree—that Kentish lawn in
the spring, birds singing in the lilacs, and some one
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 7
in a muslin frock waiting patiently beneath a certain
cedar—not the one in the picture, I know, but
‘I was not waiting,’ she said indignantly, ‘I was
picking fir-cones for the schoolroom fire i
‘Fir-cones, my dear, do not grow on cedars, and
schoolroom fires were not made in June in my young
days.’
’ And anyhow it isn’t the same cedar.’
‘It has made me fond of all cedars for its sake,’
he answered, ‘and it reminds me that you are the
same young girl still
She crossed the room to his side, and together
they looked out of the window where, upon the
lawn of their Hampshire cottage, a ragged Lebanon
stood in solitary state.
‘You're as full of dreams as ever,’ she said
gently, ‘and I don’t regret the cheque a bit—really.
Only it would have been more real if it had been
the original tree, wouldn’t it ?’
‘That was blown down long ago. I passed the
place last year, and there’s not a sign of it left,’ he
replied tenderly. And presently, when he released
her from his side, she went up to the wall and
carefully dusted the picture Sanderson had made of
the cedar on their present lawn. She went all round
the frame with her tiny handkerchief, standing on
tiptoe to reach the top rim.
‘What I like about it,’ said the old fellow to
himself when his wife had left the room, ‘is the way
he has made it live. All trees have it, of course,
but a cedar taught it to me first—the “something ”
trees possess that make them know I’m there when
I stand close and watch. I suppose I felt it then
because I was in love, and love reveals life every-
where. He glanced a moment at the Lebanon
8 PAN’S GARDEN
looming gaunt and sombre through the gathering
dusk. A curious wistful expression danced a
moment through his eyes. ‘Yes, Sanderson has
seen it as it 1s, he murmured, ‘solemnly dreaming
there its dim hidden life against the Forest edge,
and as different from that other tree in Kent as I am
from—from the vicar, say. It’s quite a stranger,
too. I don’t know anything about it really. That
other cedar I loved; this old fellow I respect.
Friendly. though—yes, on the whole quite friendly.
He’s painted the friendliness right enough. He
saw that. I’d like to know that man better,’ he
added. ‘I’d like to ask him how he saw so clearly
that it stands there between this cottage and the
Forest—yet somehow more in sympathy with us
than with the mass of woods behind—a sort of
go-between. That I never noticed before. I see
it now—through his eyes. It stands there like a
sentinel—protective rather.’ )
He turned away abruptly to look through the
window. He saw the great encircling mass of gloom
that was the Forest, fringing their little lawn. It
pressed up closer in the darkness. The prim garden
with its formal beds of flowers seemed an imperti-
nence almost—some little coloured insect that sought
to settle on a sleeping monster—some gaudy fly that
danced impudently down the edge of a great river
that could engulf it with a toss of its smallest wave. —
That Forest with its thousand years of growth and
its deep spreading being was some such slumbering
monster, yes. Their cottage and garden stood too
near its running lip. When the winds were strong
and lifted its shadowy skirts of black and purple. . . .
He loved this feeling of the Forest Personality ; he
had always loved it.
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 9
‘Queer,’ he reflected, ‘awfully queer, that trees
should bring me such a sense of dim, vast living! |
used to feel it particularly, I remember, in India; in
Canadian woods as well; but never in little English
woods till here. And Sanderson’s the only man: |
ever knew who felt it too. He’s never said so, but
there’s the proof,’ and he turned again to the picture
that he loved. A thrill of unaccustomed life ran
through him as he looked. ‘I wonder, by Jove, I
wonder,’ his thoughts ran on, ‘whether a tree—er—
in any lawful meaning of the term can be—alive. I
remember some writing fellow telling me long ago
that trees had once been moving things, animal
organisms of some sort, that had stood so long
feeding, sleeping, dreaming, or something, in the
same place, that they had lost the power to get
aways tek"
Fancies flew pell-mell about his mind, and,
lighting a cheroot, he dropped into an armchair
beside the open window and let them play. Outside
the blackbirds whistled in the shrubberies across
the lawn. He smelt the earth and trees and flowers,
the perfume of mown grass, and the bits of open
heath-land far away in the heart of the woods. ‘The
summer wind stirred very faintly through the leaves.
But the great New Forest hardly raised her sweeping
skirts of black and purple shadow.
Mr. Bittacy, however, knew intimately every
detail of that wilderness of trees within. He knew
all the purple coombs splashed with yellow waves of
gorse ; sweet with juniper and myrtle, and gleaming
with clear and dark-eyed pools that watched the
sky. There hawks hovered, circling hour by hour,
and the flicker of the peewit’s flight with its melan-
choly, petulant cry, deepened the sense of stillness.
10 PAN’S GARDEN .
He knew the solitary pines, dwarfed, tufted, vigorous,
that sang to every lost wind, travellers like the
gipsies who pitched their bush-like tents beneath
them; he knew the shaggy ponies, with foals like
baby centaurs ; the chattering jays, the milky call of
cuckoos in the spring, and the boom of the bittern
from the lonely marshes. The undergrowth of
watching hollies, he knew too, strange and mysterious,
with their dark, suggestive beauty, and the yellow
shimmer of their pale dropped leaves.
Here all the Forest lived and breathed in safety,
secure from mutilation. No terror of the axe could
haunt the peace of its vast subconscious life, no terror
of devastating Man afflict it with the dread of
premature death. It knew itself supreme ; it spread
and preened itself without concealment. It set no
spires to carry warnings, for no wind brought
messages of alarm as it bulged outwards to the sun
and stars.
But, once its leafy portals left behind, the trees
of the countryside were otherwise. The houses
threatened them ; they knew themselves in danger.
The roads were no longer glades of silent turf, but
noisy, cruel ways by which men came to attack
them. They were civilised, cared for—but cared
for in order that some day they might be put to
death. Even in the villages, where the solemn and
immemorial repose of giant chestnuts aped security,
the tossing of a silver birch against their mass,
impatient in the littlest wind, brought warning.
Dust clogged their leaves. The inner humming of
their quiet life became inaudible beneath the scream
and shriek of clattering traffic. They longed and
prayed to enter the great Peace of the Forest yonder,
but they could not move. They knew, moreover,
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 11
that the Forest with its august, deep splendour
despised and pitied them. They were a thing of
artificial gardens, and ee to beds of flowers
all forced to grow one way. .
‘Td like to know that artist fellow better,’ was
the thought upon which he returned at length to
the things of practical life. ‘I wonder if Sophia
would mind him here for a bit—?’ He rose with
the sound of the gong, brushing the ashes from his
speckled waistcoat. He pulled the waistcoat down.
He was slim and spare in figure, active in his
movements. In the dim light, but for that silvery
moustache, he might easily have passed for a man of
forty. ‘I'll suggest it to her anyhow,’ he decided
on his way upstairs to dress. His thought really
was that Sanderson could probably explain this
world of things he had always felt about—trees. A
man who could paint the soul of a cedar in that
way must know it all.
‘Why not?’ she gave her verdict later over the
bread-and-butter pudding ; ‘unless you,think he'd
find it dull without companions.’
‘He would paint all day in the Forest, dear.
I'd like to pick his brains a bit, too, if I could
manage it.’
‘You can manage anything, David,’ was what
she answered, for this elderly childless couple used
an affectionate politeness long since deemed old-
fashioned. The remark, however, displeased her,
making her feel uneasy, and she did not notice his
rejoinder, smiling his pleasure and content— Except
yourself and our bank account, my dear.’ This
passion of his for trees was of old a bone of contention,
though very mild contention. It frightened her.
That was the truth. The Bible, her Baedeker for
12 PAN’S GARDEN
earth and heaven, did not mention it. Her husband,
while humouring her, could never alter that
instinctive dread she had. He soothed, but never
changed her. She liked the woods, perhaps as spots
for shade and picnics, but she could not, as he did,
love them. |
And after dinner, with a lamp beside the open
window, he read aloud from The Times the evening
post had brought, such fragments as he thought
might interest her. The custom was invariable,
except on Sundays, when, to please his wife, he
dozed over Tennyson or Farrar as their mood might
be. She knitted while he read, asked gentle
questions, told him his voice was a ‘lovely reading
voice, and enjoyed the little discussions that
occasions prompted because he always let her win
them with ‘Ah, Sophia, I had never thought of it
quite in ‘hat way before ; but now you mention it |
must say I think there’s something in it. . . .’
For David Bittacy was wise. It was long after
marriage, during his months of loneliness spent with
trees and forests in India, his wife waiting at home
in the Bungalow, that his other, deeper side had
developed the strange passion that she could not
understand. And after one or two serious attempts
to let her share it with him, he had given up and
learned to hide it from her. He learned, that is,
to speak of it only casually ; for since she knew it
was there, to keep silence altogether would only
increase her pain. So from time to time he skimmed
the surface just to let her show him where he was
wrong and think she won the day. It remained a
debatable land of compromise. He listened with
patience to her criticisms, her excursions and alarms,
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 13
knowing that while it gave her satisfaction, it could
not change himself. The thing lay in him too
deep and true for change. But, for peace’ sake, some
meeting-place was desirable, and he found it thus.
It was her one fault in his eyes, this religious mania
carried over from her up-bringing, and it did no
serious harm. Great emotion could shake 1t some-
times out of her. She clung to it because her father
taught it her and not because she had thought it
out for herself. Indeed, like many women, she
never really shought at all, but merely reflected the
images of others’ thinking which she had learned
to see. So, wise in his knowledge of human nature,
old David Bittacy accepted the pain of being obliged
to keep a portion of his inner life shut off from the
woman he deeply loved. He regarded her little
biblical phrases as oddities that still clung to a rather
fine, big soul—like horns and little useless things some
animals have not yet lost in the course of evolution
while they have outgrown their use.
‘My dear, what is it? You frightened me!’
She asked it suddenly, sitting up so abruptly that
her cap dropped sideways almost to her ear. For
David Bittacy behind his crackling paper had uttered
a sharp exclamation of surprise. He had lowered
the sheet and was staring at her over the tops of his
gold glasses.
‘Listen to this, if you please,’ he said, a note of
eagerness in his voice, ‘listen to this, my dear
Sophia. It’s from an address by Francis Darwin
before the Royal Society. He is president, you
know, and son of the great Darwin. Listen care-
fully, I beg you. It is most significant.’
‘I am listening, David,’ she said with some
astonishment, looking up. She stopped her knitting.
14 PAN’S GARDEN
For a second she glanced behind her. Something
had suddenly changed in the room, and it made her
feel wide awake, though before she had been almost
dozing. Her husband’s voice and manner had
introduced this new thing. Her instincts rose in
warning. ‘Do read it, dear.” He took a deep
breath, looking first again over the rims of his
glasses to make quite sure of her attention. He
had evidently: come across something of genuine
interest, although herself she often found the
passages from these ‘ Addresses ’ somewhat heavy.
In a deep, emphatic voice he read aloud :
‘<< It is impossible to know whether or not plants
are conscious ; but it is consistent with the doctrine of
continuity that in all living things there is something
psychic, and if we accept this point of view a
‘ Jf, she interrupted, scenting danger.
He ignored the interruption as a thing of slight
value he was accustomed to.
‘<< Tf we accept this point of view,” ’ he continued,
‘«we must believe that in plants there exists a faint
copy of what we know as consciousness in ourselves.” ’
He laid the paper down and steadily stared at
her. Their eyes met. He had italicised the last
phrase.
For a minute or two his wife made no reply or
comment. They stared at one another in silence.
He waited for the meaning of the words to reach her
understanding with full import. Then he turned
and read them again in part, while she, released from
that curious driving look in his eyes, instinctively
again glanced over her shoulder round the room.
It was almost.as if she felt some one had come in to
them unnoticed.
‘We must believe that in plants there exists a
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 15
faint copy of what we know as consciousness in our-
selves.’
‘ Tf,” she repeated lamely, feeling before the stare
of those questioning eyes she must say something, but
not yet having gathered her wits together quite.
‘ Consciousness, he rejoined. And then he added
gravely: ‘That, my dear, is the statement of a scientific
man of the Twentieth Century.’
Mrs. Bittacy sat forward in her chair so that her
silk flounces crackled louder than the newspaper.
She made a characteristic little sound between
snifing and snorting. She put her shoes closely
together, with her hands upon her knees.
‘David,’ she said quietly, ‘I think these scientific
men are simply losing their heads. There is nothing
in the Bible that I can remember about any such
thing whatsoever.’ ;
‘Nothing, Sophia, that I can remember either,’
he answered patiently. Then, after a pause, he added,
half to himself perhaps more than to her: ‘And,
now that I come to think about it, it seems that
Sanderson once said something to me that was
similar.’
‘Then Mr. Sanderson is a wise and thoughtful
man, and a safe man,’ she quickly took him up, ‘if
he said that.’
For she thought her husband referred to her re-
mark about the Bible, and not to her judgment of the
scientific men. And he did not correct her mistake.
‘And plants, you see, dear, are not the same thing
as trees, she drove her advantage home, ‘not quite,
that is.’ |
‘I agree,’ said David quietly ; ‘but both belong
to the great vegetable kingdom.’
There was a moment’s pause before she answered.
16 PAN’S GARDEN
‘Pah! the vegetable kingdom, indeed!’ She
tossed her pretty old head. And into the words she
put a degree of contempt that, could the vegetable
kingdom have heard it, might have made it feel
ashamed for covering a third of the world with its
wonderful tangled network of roots and branches,
delicate shaking leaves, and its millions of spires that
caught the sun and wind and rain. Its very right
to existence seemed in question.
II
SANDERSON accordingly came down, and on the
whole his short visit was a success. Why he came
at all was a mystery to those who heard of it, for he
never paid visits and was certainly not the kind of
man to court a customer. There must have been
something in Bittacy he liked.
Mrs, Bittacy was glad when he left. He brought
no dress-suit for one thing, not even a dinner-jacket,
and he wore very low collars with big balloon ties
like a Frenchman, and let his hair grow longer than
was nice, she felt. Not that these things were
important, but that she considered them, symptoms
of something a little disordered. The ties were
unnecessarily flowing.
For all that he was an interesting man, and, in
spite of his eccentricities of dress and so forth, a
gentleman. ‘Perhaps,’ she reflected in her genuinely
charitable heart, ‘he had other uses for the twenty
guineas, an invalid sister or an old mother to support!’
She had no notion of the cost of brushes, frames, paints,
and canvases. Also she forgave him much for the
sake of his beautiful eyes and:his eager enthusiasm of
manner. So many men of thirty were already blasé.
Still, when the visit was over, she felt relieved.
She said nothing about his coming a second time,
and her husband, she was glad to notice, had likewise
17 Cc
18 PAN’S GARDEN
made no suggestion. For, truth to tell, the way the
younger man engrossed the older, keeping him out
for hours in the Forest, talking on the lawn in the
blazing sun, and in the evenings when the damp of
dusk came creeping out from the surrounding woods,
all regardless of his age and usual habits, was not
quite to her taste. Of course, Mr. Sanderson did
not know how easily those attacks of Indian fever
came back, but David surely might have told him. —
They talked trees from morning till night. - It
stirred in her the old subconscious trail of dread, a
trail that led ever into the darkness of big woods ;
and such feelings, as her early evangelical training
taught her, were temptings. To regard them in
any other way was to play with danger.
Her mind, as she watched these two, was charged
with curious thoughts of dread she could not under-
stand, yet feared the more on that account. The
way they studied that old mangy cedar was a trifle
unnecessary, unwise, she felt. It was disregarding
the sense of proportion which deity had set upon the
world for men’s safe guidance.
Even after dinner they smoked their cigars upon
the low branches that swept down and touched the
lawn, until at length she insisted on their coming in.
Cedars, she had somewhere heard, were not safe after
sundown ; it was not wholesome to be'too near them ;
to sleep beneath them was even dangerous, though
what the precise danger was she had forgotten. ‘The
upas was the tree she really meant.
At any rate she summoned David in, and Sanderson
came presently after him.
For a long time, before deciding on this peremp-
tory step, she had watched them surreptitiously from
the drawing-room window—her husband and her
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 19
guest. The dusk enveloped them with its damp
veil of gauze. She saw the glowing tips of their
cigars, and heard the drone of voices. Bats flitted
overhead, and big, silent moths whirred softly over
the rhododendron blossoms. And it came suddenly
to her, while she watched, that her husband had some-
how altered these last few days—since Mr. Sanderson’s
arrival in fact. A change had come over him, though
what it was she could not say. She hesitated, indeed,
to search. That was the instinctive dread operating
in her. Provided it passed she would rather not
know. Small things, of course, she noticed ; small
outward signs. He had neglected The Times for
one thing, left off his speckled waistcoats for another.
He was absent-minded sometimes ; showed vagueness
in practical details where hitherto he showed decision.
And—he had begun to talk in his sleep again.
These and a dozen other small peculiarities came
suddenly upon her with the rush of a combined attack.
They brought with them a faint distress that made
her shiver. Momentarily her mind was startled,
then confused, as her eyes picked out the shadowy
figures in the dusk, the cedar covering them, the
Forest close at their backs. And then, before she
could think, or seek internal guidance as her habit
was, this whisper, muffled and very hurried, ran across
her brain: ‘It’s Mr. Sanderson. Call David in at
once!’ |
And.she had done so. Her shrill voice crossed
the lawn and died away into the Forest, quickly
smothered. No echo followed it. The sound fell
dead against the rampart of a thousand listening
trees.
‘The damp is so very penetrating, even in summer,’
she murmured when they came obediently. She was
20 PAN’S GARDEN
half surprised at her own audacity, half repentant.
They came so meekly at her call. ‘And my husband
is sensitive to fever from the East. No, please do
-not throw away your cigars. Wecan sit by the open
window and enjoy the evening while you smoke.’
She was very talkative for a moment ; subconscious
excitement was the cause.
‘It is so still—so wonderfully still,’ she went on,
as no one spoke, ‘so peaceful, and the air so very
sweet . . . and God is always near to those who
need His aid.’ The words slipped out before she
realised quite what she was saying, yet fortunately,
in time to lower her voice, for no one heard them.
They were, perhaps, an instinctive expression of
relief. It flustered her that she could have said the
thing at all. _
Sanderson brought her shaw] and helped to arrange
the chairs; she thanked him in her old-fashioned,
gentle way, declining the lamps which he had offered
to light. ‘They attract the moths and insects so,
I think !’
The three of them sat there in the gloaming,
Mr. Bittacy’s white moustache and his wife’s yellow
shawl gleaming at either end of the little horseshoe,
Sanderson with his wild black hair and shining eyes
midway between them. The painter went on talking
softly, continuing evidently the conversation begun
with his host beneath the cedar. Mrs. Bittacy, on
her guard, listened—uneasily.
‘For trees, you see, rather conceal themselves in
daylight. They reveal themselves fully only after
sunset. I never know a tree, he bowed here slightly
towards the lady as though to apologise for some-
thing he felt she would not quite understand or
like, ‘until I’ve seen it inthe night. Your cedar, for
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 21
instance,’ looking towards her husband again so that
Mrs. Bittacy caught the gleaming of his turned
eyes, ‘I failed with badly at first, because I did it in
the morning. You shall see to-morrow what I:
mean—that first sketch is upstairs in my portfolio ;
it’s quite another tree to the one you bought. That
view ’—he leaned forward, lowering his voice—‘ I
caught one morning about two o'clock in very faint
moonlight and the stars. 1 saw the naked being of
the thing ——’
‘You mean that you went out, Mr. Sanderson,
at that hour ?’ the old lady asked with astonishment
and mild rebuke. She did not care particularly for
his choice of adjectives either.
‘] fear it was rather a liberty to take in another’s
house, perhaps, he answered courteously. ‘But,
having chanced to wake, I saw the tree from my
window, and made my way downstairs.’
‘It’s a wonder Boxer didn’t bite you; he sleeps
loose in the hall,’ she said.
‘On the contrary. The dog came out with me.
I hope,’ he added, ‘the noise didn’t disturb you,
though it’s rather late to say so. I feel quite guilty.’
His white teeth showed in the dusk as he smiled.
A smell of earth and flowers stole in through the
window on a breath of wandering air.
Mrs. Bittacy said nothing at the moment. ‘We
both sleep like tops,’ put in her husband, laughing.
‘You're a courageous man, though, Sanderson ; and,
by Jove, the picture justifies you. Few artists would
have taken so much trouble, though I read once
that Holman Hunt, Rossetti, or some one of that lot,
painted all night in his orchard to get an effect of
_ moonlight that he wanted.’
He chattered on. His wife was glad to hear his
22 PAN’S GARDEN
voice ; it made her feel more easy in her mind. But
presently the other held the floor again, and her
thoughts grew darkened and afraid. Instinctively
she feared the influence on her husband. The
mystery and wonder that lie in woods, in forests,
in great gatherings of trees everywhere, seemed
so real and present while he talked.
- ©The Night transfigures all things in a way,’ he
was saying; ‘but nothing so searchingly as trees.
From behind a veil that sunlight hangs before
them in the day they emerge and show themselves.
Even buildings do that—in a measure—but trees
particularly. In the daytime they sleep; at night
they wake, they manifest, turn active—live. You
remember,’ turning politely again in the direction of
his hostess, ‘how clearly Henley understood that? ’
‘That socialist person, you mean?’ asked the
lady. Her tone and accent made the substantive
sound criminal. It almost hissed, the way she
uttered it.
‘The poet, yes,’ replied the artist tactfully, ‘the
friend of Stevenson, you remember, Stevenson who
wrote those charming children’s verses.’
He quoted in a low voice the lines he meant. It
was, for once, the time, the place, and the setting
all together. The words floated out across the lawn
towards the wall of blue darkness where the big
Forest swept the little garden with its league-long
curve that was like the shore-line of a sea. A wave
of distant sound that was like surf accompanied his
voice, as though the wind was fain to listen too :
Not to the staring Day,
For all the importunate questionings he pursues
In his big, violent voice,
Shall those mild things of bulk and multitude,
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 23
The trees—God’s sentinels . . .
Yield of their huge, unutterable selves,
But at the word
Of the ancient, sacerdotal Night,
Night of the many secrets, whose effect—
Transfiguring, hierophantic, dread—.
Themselves alone may fully apprehend,
They tremble and are changed:
In each the uncouth, individual soul
Looms forth and glooms
Essential, and, their bodily presences
Touched with inordinate significance,
Wearing the darkness like a livery
Of some mysterious and tremendous guild,
They brood—they menace—they appal.
The voice of Mrs. Bittacy presently broke the
silence that followed.
‘I like that part about God’s sentinels,’ she
murmured. There was no sharpness in her tone ;
it was hushed and quiet. The truth, so musically
uttered, muted her shrill objections though it had
not lessened her alarm. Her husband made no
comment ; his cigar, she noticed, had gone out.
‘And old trees in particular,’ continued the artist,
as though to himself, ‘ have very definite personalities.
You can offend, wound, please them ; the moment
you stand within their shade you feel whether they
come out to you, or whether they withdraw.’ He
turned abruptly towards his host. ‘You know that
singular essay of Prentice Mulford’s, no doubt,
‘God in the Trees ”—extravagant perhaps, but yet
with a fine true beauty init? You've never read it,
no?’ he asked.
But it was Mrs. Bittacy who answered; _ her
husband keeping his curious deep silence.
‘J never did!’ It fell like a drip of cold water
ays PAN’S GARDEN
from the face muffled in the yellow shawl; even a
child could have supplied the remainder of the
unspoken thought.
‘ Ah,’ said Sanderson gently, ‘ but there zs “God”
in the trees, God in a very subtle aspect and some-
- times—I have known the trees express it too—that
which is wot God—dark and terrible. Have you
ever noticed, too, how clearly trees show what they
want—choose their companions, at least? How
beeches, for instance, allow no life too near them—
birds or squirrels in their boughs, nor any growth
beneath? The silence in the beech wood is quite
terrifying often! And how pines like bilberry bushes
at their feet and sometimes little oaks—all trees
making a clear, deliberate choice, and holding firmly
to it? Some trees obviously—it’s very strange and
marked—seem to prefer the human.’
The old lady sat up crackling, for this was more
than she could permit. Her stiff silk dress emitted
little sharp reports.
‘We know,’ she answered, ‘that He was said to
have walked in the garden in the cool of the
evening ’—the gulp betrayed the effort that it cost
her—‘ but we are nowhere told that He hid in the
trees, or anything like that. Trees, after all, we must
remember, are only large vegetables.’
‘True,’ was the soft answer, ‘but in everything
that grows, has life, that is, there’s mystery past all
finding out. The wonder that lies hidden in our
own souls lies also hidden, I venture to assert, in the
stupidity and silence of a mere potato.’
The observation was not meant to be amusing.
It was mot amusing. No one laughed. On the
contrary, the words conveyed in too literal a sense
the feeling that haunted all that conversation. Each
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 25
one in his own way realised—with beauty, with
wonder, with alarm—that the talk had somehow
brought the whole vegetable kingdom nearer to that
of man. Some link had been established between the
two. It was not wise, with that great Forest listening
at their very doors, to speak so plainly. The Forest
edged up closer while they did so.
And Mrs. Bittacy, anxious to interrupt the horrid
spell, broke suddenly in upon it with a matter-of-fact
suggestion. She did not like her husband’s pro-
longed silence, stillness. He seemed so negative—so
changed.
‘David,’ she said, raising her voice, ‘I think
you're feeling the dampness. It’s grownchilly. The
fever comes so suddenly, you know, and it might
be wise to take the tincture. I'll go and get it,
dear, at once. It’s better.’ And before he could
object she had left the room to bring the homoeopathic
dose that she believed in, and that, to please her, he
swallowed by the tumbler-full from week to week.
And the moment the door closed behind her,
Sanderson began again, though now in quite a diff-
erent tone. Mr. Bittacy sat up in his chair. The
two men obviously resumed the conversation—the
real conversation interrupted beneath the cedar—and
left aside the sham one which was so much dust
merely thrown in the old lady’s eyes.
‘Trees love you, that’s the fact,’ he said earnestly.
‘Your service to them all these years abroad has
made them know you.’
‘Know me?’
‘Made them, yes,—he paused a moment, then
added,—‘ made them aware of your presence; aware
of a force outside themselves that deliberately seeks
their welfare, don’t you see?’
26 PAN’S GARDEN
‘By Jove, Sanderson—!’ This put into plain
language actual sensations he had felt, yet had never
dared to phrase in words before. ‘They get into
touch with me, as it were?’ he ventured, laughing at
his own sentence, yet laughing only with his lips.
‘Exactly,’ was the quick, emphaticreply. ‘They
seek to blend with something they feel instinctively
to be good for them, helpful to their essential beings,
encouraging to their best expression—their life.’
‘Good Lord, Sir!’ Bittacy heard himself saying,
‘but you're putting my own thoughts into words.
D’you know, I’ve felt something like that for years.
As though—’ he looked round to make sure his wife
was not there, then finished the sentence—‘ as though
the trees were after me!’
‘« Amalgamate ’’ seems the best word, perhaps,’
said Sanderson slowly. ‘They would draw you to
themselves. Good forces, you see, always seek to
merge ; evil to separate; that’s why Good in the
end must always win the day—everywhere. The
accumulation in the long run becomes overwhelming.
Evil tends to separation, dissolution, death. The
comradeship of trees, their instinct to run together,
is a vital symbol. ‘Trees in a mass are good ; alone,
you may take it generally, are—well, dangerous.
Look at a monkey-puzzler, or better still, a holly.
Look at it, watch it, understand it. Did you ever
see more plainly an evil thought made visible?
They’re wicked. Beautiful too, oh yes! There’s a
strange, miscalculated beauty often in evil :
‘That cedar, then nae
‘Not evil, no; but alien, rather. Cedars grow in
forests all together. The poor thing has drifted, that
is all.’
They were getting rather deep. Sanderson, talking
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 27
against time, spoke so fast. It was too condensed.
Bittacy hardly followed that last bit. His mind
floundered among his own less definite, less sorted
thoughts, till presently another sentence from the
artist startled him into attention again.
‘That cedar will protect you here, though, because
you both have humanised it by your thinking so lov-
ingly of its presence. The others can’t get past it,
as it were.’
-©Protect me!’ he exclaimed. ‘Protect me from
their love ?’
Sanderson laughed. ‘ We're getting rather mixed,’
he said ; ‘we're talking of one thing in the terms of
another really. But what I mean is—you see—that
their love for you, their “‘ awareness ” of your person-
ality and presence involves the idea of winning you
—across the border—into themselves—into their
world of living. It means, in a way, taking you
over.
The ideas the artist started in his mind ran furious
wild races to and fro. It was like a maze sprung
suddenly into movement. The whirling of the in-
tricate lines bewildered him. They went so fast,
leaving but half an explanation of their goal. He
followed first one, then another, but a new one
always dashed across to intercept before he could
get anywhere.
‘But India,’ he said, presently in a lower voice,
‘India is so far away—from this little English forest.
The trees, too, are utterly different for one thing?’
The rustle of skirts warned of Mrs. Bittacy’s
approach. ‘This was a sentence he could turn round
another way in case she came up and pressed for
explanation. |
‘There is communion among trees all the world
28 PAN’S GARDEN
over, was the strange quick reply. ‘They always
know.’
‘They always know! You think then By
‘The winds, you see—the great, swift carriers!
They have their ancient rights of way about the
world. An easterly wind, for instance, carrying on
stage by stage as it were—linking dropped messages
and meanings from land to land like the birds—an
easterly wind——’
Mrs. Bittacy swept in upon them with the
tumbler—
‘There, David,’ she said, ‘that will ward off any
beginnings of attack. Just a spoonful, dear. Oh,
oh! not a//!’ for he had swallowed half the contents
at a single gulp as usual; ‘another dose before you
go to bed, and the balance in the morning, first thing
when you wake.’
She turned to her guest, who put the tumbler
down for her upon a table at his elbow. She had
heard them speak of the east wind. She emphasised —
the warning she had misinterpreted. The private
part of the conversation came to an abrupt end.
‘It is the one thing that upsets him more than
any other—an east wind,’ she said, ‘and I am glad,
Mr. Sanderson, to hear you think so too.’
Ill
A veep hush followed, in the middle of which an
owl was heard calling its muffled note in the forest.
A big moth whirred with a soft collision against one
of the windows. Mrs. Bittacy started slightly, but
no one spoke. Above the trees the stars were faintly
visible. From the distance came the barking of a dog.
Bittacy, relighting his cigar, broke the little spell
of silence that had caught all three.
‘It’s rather a comforting thought,’ he said, throw-
ing the match out of the window, ‘that life is about
us everywhere, and that there is really no dividing
line between what we call organic and inorganic.’
‘The universe, yes,’ said Sanderson, ‘is all one,
really. We're puzzled by the gaps we cannot see
across, but as a fact, I suppose, there are no gaps
Aa hae
Mrs. Bittacy rustled ominously, holding her peace
meanwhile. She feared long words she did not
understand. Beelzebub lay hid among too many
syllables.
‘In trees and plants especially, there dreams an
exquisite life that no one yet has proved unconscious.’
~©Or conscious either, Mr. Sanderson,’ she neatly
interjected. ‘It’s only man that was made after His
image, not shrubberies and things. . . .’
Her husband interposed without delay.
29
30 PAN’S GARDEN
‘It is not necessary,’ he explained suavely, ‘to
say that they’re alive in the sense that we are
alive. At the same time,’ with an eye to his wife,
‘I see no harm in holding, dear, that all created
things contain some measure of His life Who made
them. It’s only beautiful to hold that He created
nothing dead. We are not pantheists for all that!’
he added soothingly.
‘Oh, no! Not that, I hope!’ The word alarmed
her. It was worse than pope. Through her puzzled
mind stole a stealthy, dangerous thing . . likea
panther.
‘I like to think that even in decay there’s life,’
the painter murmured. ‘The falling apart of rotten
wood breeds sentiency ; there’s force and motion in
the falling of a dying leaf, in the breaking up and
crumbling of everything indeed. And take an inert
stone: it’s crammed with heat and weight and
potencies of all sorts. What holds its particles
together indeed? We understand it as little as
gravity or why a needle always turns to the “ North.”
Both things may be a mode of life. . . .’
‘You think a compass has a soul, Mr. Sanderson ?’
exclaimed the lady with a crackling of her silk
flounces that conveyed a sense of outrage even more
plainly than her tone. The artist smiled to himself
in the darkness, but it was Bittacy who hastened to
reply.
‘Our friend merely suggests that these mysterious
agencies,’ he said quietly, ‘may be due to some kind
of life we cannot understand. Why should water
only run downhill? Why should trees grow at right
angles to the surface of the ground and towards the
sun? Why should the worlds spin for ever on their
axes? Why should fire change the form of every-
—_— = Se |
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 31
thing it touches without really destroying them? To
say these things follow the law of their being explains
nothing. Mr. Sanderson merely suggests—poetically,
my dear, of course—that these may be manifestations
of life, though life at a different stage to ours.’
‘The “breath of life,” we read, ‘‘ He breathed
into them.’ ‘These things do not breathe.’ She said
it with triumph.
Then Sanderson put in a word. But he spoke
rather to himself or to his host than by way of serious
rejoinder to the ruffled lady.
‘But plants do breathe too, you know,’ he said.
‘They breathe, they eat, they digest, they move
about, and they adapt themselves to their environ-
ment as men and animals do. They have a nervous
system too . . . at least a complex system of nuclei
which have some of the qualities of nerve cells. They
may have memory too. Certainly, they know definite
action in response to stimulus. And though this
may be physiological, no one has proved that it is
only that, and not—psychological.’
He did not notice, apparently, the little gasp that
was audible behind the yellow shawl. Bittacy cleared
his throat, threw his extinguished cigar upon the
lawn, crossed and recrossed his legs.
‘And in trees,’ continued the other, ‘behind a
great forest, for instance,’ pointing towards the woods,
‘may stand a rather splendid Entity that manifests
through all the thousand individual trees—some huge
collective life, quite as minutely and delicately organ-
ised as our own. It might merge and blend with
ours under certain conditions, so that we could under-
stand it by deing it, for a time at least. It might
even engulf human vitality into the immense whirl-
pool of its own vast dreaming life. The pull of a
32 PAN’S GARDEN
big forest on a man can be tremendous and utterly
overwhelming.’ Ry
The mouth of Mrs. Bittacy was heard to close
with a snap. Her shawl, and particularly her
crackling dress, exhaled the protest that burned
within her like a pain. She was too distressed to
be overawed, but at the same time too confused ’mid
the litter of words and meanings half understood, to
find immediate phrases she could use. Whatever
the actual meaning of his language might be, however,
and whatever subtle dangers lay concealed behind
them meanwhile, they certainly wove a kind of gentle
spell with the glimmering darkness that held all
three delicately enmeshed there by that open window.
The odours of dewy lawn, flowers, trees, and earth
formed part of it.
‘The moods,’ he continued, ‘that people waken
in us are due to their hidden life affecting our own.
Deep calls to. deep. A person, for instance, joins
you in an empty room: you both instantly change.
The new arrival, though in silence, has caused a
change of mood. May not the moods of Nature
touch and stir us in virtue of a similar prerogative ?
The sea, the hills, the desert, wake passion, joy, terror,
as the case may be; for a few, perhaps,’ he glanced
significantly at his host so that Mrs. Bittacy again
caught the turning of his eyes, ‘ emotions of a curious,
flaming splendour that are quite nameless. Well
. whence come these powers? Surely from
nothing thatis . . . dead! Does not the influence
of a forest, its sway and strange ascendancy over
certain minds, betray a direct manifestation of life ?
It lies otherwise beyond all explanation, this mysterious
emanation of big woods. Some natures, of course,
deliberately invite it. The authority of a host of
—
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 33
trees, —his voice grew almost solemn as he said the
words—‘ is something not to be denied. One feels
it here, I think, particularly.’
There was considerable tension in the air as he
ceased speaking. Mr. Bittacy had not intended that
the talk should go so far. They had drifted. He
did not wish to see his wife unhappy or afraid, and
he was aware—acutely so—that her feelings were
stirred to a point he did not care about. Something
in her, as he put it, was ‘working up’ towards
explosion. .
He sought to generalise the conversation, diluting
this accumulated emotion by spreading it.
‘The sea is His and He made it,’ he suggested
vaguely, hoping Sanderson would take the hint, ‘and
with the trees it is the same... .’
‘The whole gigantic vegetable kingdom, yes,’ the
artist took him up, ‘all at the service of man, for
food, for shelter and for a thousand purposes of his
daily life. Isit not striking what a lot of the globe they
cover . . . exquisitely organised life, yet stationary,
always ready to our hand when we want them, never
running away? But the taking them, for all that, not so
easy. One man shrinks from picking flowers, another
from cutting down trees. And, it’s curious that most
of the forest tales and legends are dark, mysterious,
and somewhat ill-omened. The forest beings are
rarely gay and harmless. The forest life was felt as
terrible. Tree-worship still survives to-day. Wood-
cutters . . . those who take the life of trees. .
you see, a race of haunted men... .’
He stopped abruptly, a singular catch in his voice.
Bittacy felt something even before the sentences were
over. His wife, he knew, felt it still more strongly.
For it was in the middle of the heavy silence following
D
34 PAN’S GARDEN
upon these last remarks, that Mrs. Bittacy, rising witha
violent abruptness from her chair, drew the attention
of the others to something moving towards them
across the lawn. It came silently. In outline it was
large and curiously spread. It rose high, too, for
the sky above the shrubberies, still pale gold from
the sunset, was dimmed by its passage. She declared
afterwards that it moved in ‘looping circles,’ but
what she perhaps meant to convey was ‘spirals.’
She screamed faintly. ‘It’s come at last! And
it’s you that brought it!’ |
She turned excitedly, half afraid, half angry, to
Sanderson. With a breathless sort of gasp she said
it, politeness all forgotten. ‘I knew it .. . if you
went on. I knew it. Oh! Oh!’ And she cried
again, ‘Your talking has brought it: OUis ies be
terror that shook her voice was rather dreadful.
But the confusion of her vehement words passed
unnoticed in the first surprise they caused. For a
moment nothing happened.
‘What is it you think you see, my dear?’ asked
her husband, startled. Sanderson said nothing. All
three leaned forward, the men still sitting, but Mrs.
Bittacy had rushed hurriedly to the window, placing
herself of a purpose, as it seemed, between her husband
and the lawn. She pointed. Her little hand made
a silhouette against the sky, the yellow shawl
hanging from the arm like a cloud.
‘Beyond the cedar—between it and the lilacs.’
The voice had lost its shrillness; it was thin and
hushed. ‘There . . . now you see it going round
upon itself again—going back, thank God!...
going back to the Forest.’ It sank to a whisper,
shaking. She repeated, with a great dropping sigh
of relief—‘Thank God! I thought . . . at first
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 35
. It was coming here... to us! ... David
. to you!’
She stepped back from the window, her move-
ments confused, feeling in the darkness for the
support of a chair, and finding her husband’s out-
stretched hand instead. ‘Hold me, dear, hold me,
please . . . tight. Do not let me go.’ She was in
what he called afterwards ‘a regular state.’ He
drew her firmly down upon her chair again.
‘Smoke, Sophie, my dear,’ he said quickly, trying
to make his voice calm and natural. ‘I see it,
yes. It’s smoke blowing over from the gardener’s
cottage.any.
‘But, David,—and there was new horror in
her whisper now—‘it made a noise. It makes it
still, I hear it swishing.’ Some such word she used
—swishing, sishing, rushing, or something of the
kind. ‘David, I’m very frightened. It’s something
awful! That man has called it out... !’
‘Hush, hush, whispered her husband. He
stroked her trembling hand beside him.
‘It is in the wind,’ said Sanderson, speaking for
the first time, very quietly. The expression on his
face was not visible in the gloom, but his voice was
soft and unafraid. At the sound of it, Mrs. Bittacy
started violently again. Bittacy drew his chair a
little forward to obstruct her view of him. He felt
bewildered himself, a little, hardly knowing quite
what to say or do. It was all so very curious and
sudden.
But Mrs. Bittacy was badly frightened. It
seemed to her that what she saw came from the
enveloping forest just beyond their little garden. It
emerged in a sort of secret way, moving towards
them as with a purpose, stealthily, difficultly. Then
36 PAN’S GARDEN
something stopped it. It could not advance beyond
the cedar. The cedar—this impression remained
with her afterwards too—prevented, kept it back.
Like a rising sea the Forest had surged a moment in
their direction through the covering darkness, and
this visible movement was its first wave. Thus to
her mind it seemed . . . like that mysterious turn
of the tide that used to frighten and mystify her in
childhood on the sands. The outward surge of some
enormous Power was what she felt . . . something
to which every instinct in her being rose in opposi-
tion because it threatened her and hers. In that
moment she realised the Personality of the Forest
. menacing.
In the stumbling movement that she made away
from the window and towards the bell she barely
caught the sentence Sanderson—or was it her husband?
—murmured to himself: ‘It came because we
talked of it; our thinking made it aware of us and
brought it out. But the cedar stops it. It cannot
cross the lawn, you see. . . .
All three were standing now, and her husband’s
voice broke in with authority while his wife’s fingers
touched the bell.
‘My dear, I should wot say anything to
Thompson.’ The anxiety he felt was manifest in
his voice, but his outward composure had returned.
‘The gardener can go... .’
Then Sanderson cut him short. ‘Allow me,’ he
said quickly. ‘I'll see if anything’s wrong. And
before either of them could answer or object, he was
gone, leaping out by the open window. ‘They saw
his figure vanish with a run across the lawn into the
darkness.
A moment later the maid entered, in answer to
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 37
the bell, and with her came the loud barking of the
terrier from the hall.
‘The lamps,’ said her master shortly, and as she
softly closed the door behind her, they heard the
wind pass with a mournful sound of singing round the
outer walls. A rustle of foliage from the distance
passed within it.
‘You see, the wind zs rising. It was the wind!’
He put a comforting arm about her, distressed to feel
that she was trembling. But he knew that he was
trembling too, though with a kind of odd elation
rather than alarm. ‘And it was smoke that you
saw coming from Stride’s cottage, or from the
rubbish heaps he’s been burning in the kitchen
garden. The noise we heard was the branches
rustling in the wind. Why should you be so
nervous?’
A thin whispering voice answered him :
‘I was afraid for you, dear. Something frightened
me for you. That man makes me feel so uneasy and
uncomfortable for his influence upon you. It’s very
foolish, I know. I think .. . I’m tired; I feel so
overwrought and restless.’ The words poured out
in a hurried jumble and she kept turning to the
window while she spoke.
‘The strain of having a visitor,’ he said
soothingly, ‘has taxed you. We're so unused to
having people in the house. He goes to-morrow.’
He warmed her cold hands between his own,
stroking them tenderly. More, for the life of him,
he could not say or do. The joy of a strange,
internal excitement made his heart beat faster. He
knew not what it was. He knew only, perhaps,
whence it came.
She peered close into his face through the gloom,
38 PAN’S GARDEN
and said acurious thing. ‘I thought, David, for
a moment... you seemed ... different. My
nerves are all on edge to-night.’ She made no
further reference to her husband’s visitor.
A sound of footsteps from the lawn warned of
Sanderson’s return, as he answered quickly in a
lowered tone—‘ There’s no need to be afraid on my
account, dear girl. There’s nothing wrong with
me, I assure you; I never felt so well and happy
in my life.’
Thompson came in with the Jamps and bright-
ness, and scarcely had she gone again when Sanderson
in turn was seen climbing through the window.
‘There’s nothing,’ he said lightly, as he closed
it behind him. ‘Somebody’s been burning leaves,
and the smoke is drifting a little through the trees.
The wind,’ he added, glancing at his host a
moment significantly, but in so discreet a way that
Mrs. Bittacy did not observe it, ‘the wind, too, has
begun to roar . . . in the Forest . . . further out.’
But Mrs. Bittacy noticed about him two things
which increased her uneasiness. She noticed the
shining of his eyes, because a similar light had
suddenly come into her husband’s ; and she noticed,
too, the apparent depth of meaning he put into those
simple words that ‘ the wind had begun to roar in the
Forest . . . further out.’ Her mind retained the
disagreeable impression that he meant more than
he said. In his tone lay quite another implication.
It was not actually ‘wind’ he spoke of, and it
would not remain ‘further out” . . . rather, it was
coming in. Another impression she got too—still
more unwelcome—was that her husband understood
his hidden meaning.
\
:
a
IV
‘Davin, dear,’ she observed gently as soon as they
were alone upstairs, ‘I have a horrible uneasy
feeling about that man. I cannot get rid of it.’
The tremor in her voice caught all his tenderness.
He turned to look at her. ‘Of what kind, my
dear? You’re so imaginative sometimes, aren’t
you?’
‘I think,’ she hesitated, stammering a little,
confused, still frightened, ‘I mean—isn’t he a
hypnotist, or full of those theofosical ideas, or
something of the sort? You know what I mean—’
He was too accustomed to her little confused
alarms to explain them away seriously as a rule,
or to correct her verbal inaccuracies, but to-night
he felt she needed careful, tender treatment. He
soothed her as best he could.
‘But there’s no harm in that, even if he is,’ he
answered quietly. ‘Those are only new names for
very old ideas, you know, dear.’ There was no
trace of impatience in his voice.
‘That’s what I mean,’ she replied, the texts he
dreaded rising in an unuttered crowd behind the
words. ‘He’s one of those things that we are
warned would come—one of those Latter-Day things.’
For her mind still bristled with the bogeys of
Antichrist and Prophecy, and she had only escaped
39
40 PAN’S GARDEN
the Number of the Beast, as it were, by the skin
of her teeth. The Pope drew most of her fire
usually, because she could understand him; the
target was plain and she could shoot. But this
tree-and-forest business was so vague and horrible.
It terrified her. ‘He makes me think,’ she went
on, ‘of Principalities and Powers in high places, and
of things that walk in darkness. I did zot like the
way he spoke of trees getting alive in the night, and
all that; it made me think of wolves in sheep’s
clothing. And when I saw that awful thing in the
sky above the lawn—’
But he interrupted her at once, for that was some-
thing he had decided it was best to leave unmentioned.
Certainly it was better not discussed.
‘He only meant, I think, Sophie,’ he put in
gravely, yet with a little smile, ‘that trees may have
a measure of conscious life—rather a nice idea on the
whole, surely,—something like that bit we read in
the Times the other night, you remember—and that
a big forest may possess a sort of Collective Person-
ality. Remember, he’s an artist, and poetical.’
‘It’s dangerous,’ she said emphatically. ‘I feel
it’s playing with fire, unwise, unsafe—’
‘Yet all to the glory of God,’ he urged gently.
‘We must not shut our ears and eyes to knowledge
—of any kind, must we?’
‘With you, David, the wish is always farther than
the thought,’ she rejoined. For, like the child who
thought that ‘suffered under Pontius Pilate’ was
‘suffered under a bunch of violets,’ she heard her
proverbs phonetically and reproduced them thus. She
hoped to convey her warning in the quotation. ‘ And
we must always try the spirits whether they be of
God,’ she added tentatively.
_— es ee |
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 41
‘Certainly, dear, we can always do that,’ he
assented, getting into bed.
But, after a little pause, during which she blew
the light out, David Bittacy settling down to sleep
with an excitement in his blood that was new and
bewilderingly delightful, realised that perhaps he had
not said quite enough to comfort her. She was lying
awake by his side, still frightened. He put his head
up in the darkness.
‘Sophie,’ he said softly, ‘ you must remember, too,
that in any case between us and—and all that sort of
thing—there is a great gulf fixed, a gulf that cannot
be crossed—er—while we are still in the body.’
And hearing no reply, he satisfied himself that she
was already asleep and happy. But Mrs. Bittacy was
not asleep. She heard the sentence, only she said
nothing because she felt her thought was better
unexpressed. She was afraid to hear the words in
the darkness. The Forest outside was listening
and might hear them too—the Forest that was
‘roaring further out.’
And the thought was this: That gulf, of course,
existed, but Sanderson had somehow bridged it.
It was much later that night when she awoke out
of troubled, uneasy dreams and heard a sound that
twisted her very nerves with fear. It passed immed-
iately with full waking, for, listen as she might, there
was nothing audible but the inarticulate murmur of
the night. It wasin her dreams she heard it, and
the dreams had vanished with it. But the sound was
recognisable, for it was that rushing noise that had
come across the lawn; only this time closer. Just
above her face while she slept had passed this murmur
as of rustling branches in the very room, a sound of
42 PAN’S GARDEN
foliage whispering. ‘A going in the tops of the
mulberry trees,’ ran through her mind. She had
dreamed that she lay beneath a spreading tree some-
where, a tree that whispered with ten thousand soft
lips of green ; and the dream continued for a moment
even after waking.
She sat up in bed and stared about her. The
window was open at the top; she saw the stars ;
the door, she remembered, was locked as usual; the
room, of course, was empty. The deep hush of the
summer night lay over all, broken only by another
sound that now issued from the shadows close beside
the bed, a human sound, yet unnatural, a sound that
seized the fear with which she had waked and in-
stantly increased it. And, although it was one she
recognised as familiar, at first she could not name it.
Some seconds certainly passed—and, they were very
long ones—before she understood that it was her
husband talking in his sleep.
The direction of the voice confused and puzzled
her, moreover, for it was not, as she first supposed,
beside her. There was distance in it. The next
minute, by the light of the sinking candle flame, she
saw his white figure standing out in the middle of
the room, half-way towards the window. The candle-
light slowly grew. She saw him move then nearer
to the window, with arms outstretched. His speech
was low and mumbled, the words running together
too much to be distinguishable.
And she shivered. To her, sleep-talking was un-
canny to the point of horror ; it was like the talking
of the dead, mere parody of a living voice, unnatural.
‘David !’ she whispered, dreading the sound of
her own voice, and half afraid to interrupt him and
see his face. She could not bear the sight of the
Se
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 43
wide-opened eyes. ‘David, you’re walking in your
sleep. _Do—come back to bed, dear, please!’
Her whisper seemed so dreadfully loud in the still
darkness. At the sound of her voice he paused, then
turned slowly round to face her. His widely-opened
eyes stared into her own without recognition ; they
looked through her into something beyond ; it was as
though he knewthe directionof the sound, yet could not
see her. ‘They were shining, she noticed, as the eyes
of Sanderson had shone several hours ago; and his face
was flushed, distraught. Anxiety was written upon
every feature. And, instantly, recognising that the
fever was upon him, she forgot her terror temporarily
in practical considerations. He came back to bed
without waking. She closed his eyelids. Presently
he composed himself quietly to sleep, or rather to
deeper sleep. She contrived to make him swallow
something from the tumbler beside the bed.
Then she rose very quietly to close the window,
feeling the night air blow in too fresh and keen.
She put the candle where it could not reach
him. The sight of the big Baxter Bible beside it
comforted her a little, but all through her under-
being ran the warnings of a curious alarm. And it
was while in the act of fastening the catch with one
hand and pulling the string of the blind with the
other, that her husband sat up again in bed and
spoke in words this time that were distinctly audible.
The eyes had opened wide again. He pointed. She
stood stock still and listened, her shadow distorted
on the blind. He did not come out towards her as
at first she feared.
The whispering voice was very clear, horrible, too,
beyond all she had ever known.
‘They are roaring in the Forest further out .
44 PAN’S GARDEN
and I... must go and see.’ He stared beyond
her as he said it, to the woods. ‘They are needing
me. hey sent for me... .’ Then his eyes
wandering back again to things within the room, he
lay down, his purpose suddenly changed. And that
change was horrible as well, more horrible, perhaps,
because of its revelation of another detailed world he
moved in far away from her.
The singular phrase chilled her blood; for a
moment she was utterly terrified. That tone of the
somnambulist, differing so slightly yet so distressingly
from normal, waking speech, seemed to her some-
how wicked. Evil and danger lay waiting thick
behind it. She leaned against the window sill,
shaking in every limb. She had an awful feeling
for a moment that something was coming in to fetch
him.
‘Not yet, then,’ she heard in a much lower voice
from the bed, ‘but later. It will be better so. . .
| shall go. later. yy)
The words expressed some fringe of these alarms
that had haunted her so long, and that the arrival
and presence of Sanderson seemed to have brought
to the very edge of a climax she could not even dare
to think about. They gave it form; they brought
it closer; they sent her thoughts to her Deity in a
wild, deep prayer for help and guidance. For here
was a direct, unconscious betrayal of a world of inner
purposes and claims her husband recognised while he
kept them almost wholly to himself.
By the time she reached his side and knew the
comfort of his touch, the eyes had closed again, this
time of their own accord, and the head lay calmly back
upon the pillows. She gently straightened the bed
clothes. She watched him for some minutes, shading
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 45
the candle carefully with one hand. There was a
smile of strangest peace upon the face.
Then, blowing out the candle, she knelt down
and prayed before getting back into bed. But no
sleep came to her. She lay awake all night thinking,
wondering, praying, until at length with the chorus of
the birds and the glimmer of the dawn upon the
green blind, she fell into a slumber of complete
exhaustion.
But while she slept the wind continued roaring in
the Forest further out. The sound came closer—
sometimes very close indeed.
V
Wir the departure of Sanderson the significance
of the curious incidents waned, because the
moods that had produced them passed away. Mrs.
Bittacy soon afterwards came to regard them as some
growth of disproportion that had been very largely,
perhaps, in her own mind. It did not strike her
that this change was sudden, for it came about quite
naturally. For one thing her husband never spoke
of the matter, and for another she remembered how
many things in life that had seemed inexplicable
and singular at the time turned out later to have
been quite commonplace.
Most of it, certainly, she put down to the presence
of the artist and to his wild, suggestive talk. With
his welcome removal, the world turned ordinary
again and safe. The fever, though it lasted as usual
a short time only, had not allowed of her husband’s
getting up to say good-bye, and she had conveyed his
regrets and adieux. In the morning Mr. Sanderson
had seemed ordinary enough. In his town hat and
gloves, as she saw him go, he seemed tame and
unalarming.
‘ After all,’ she thought as she watched the pony-
cart bear him off, ‘he’s only an artist!’ What she
had thought he might be otherwise her slim imagina-
tion did not venture to disclose. Her change of
46
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 47
feeling was wholesome and refreshing. She felt a
little ashamed of her behaviour. She gave him a
smile—genuine because the relief she felt was genuine
—as he bent over her hand and kissed it, but she did
not suggest a second visit, and her husband, she
noted with satisfaction and relief had said nothing
either.
The little household fell again into the normal and
sleepy routine to which it was accustomed. The
name of Arthur Sanderson was rarely if ever
mentioned. Nor, for her part, did she mention to
her husband the incident of his walking in his sleep
and the wild words he used. But to forget it was
equally impossible. Thus it lay buried deep within
her like a centre of some unknown disease of which
it was a mysterious symptom, waiting to spread at
the first favourable opportunity. She prayed against
it every night and morning: prayed that she might
forget it—that God would keep her husband safe
from harm.
For in spite of much surface foolishness that many
might have read as weakness, Mrs. Bittacy had
balance, sanity, and a fine deep faith. She was
greater than she knew. Her love for her husband
and her God were somehow one, an achievement
only possible to a single-hearted nobility of soul.
There followed a summer of great violence and
beauty; of beauty, because the refreshing rains at
night prolonged the glory of the spring and spread
it all across July, keeping the foliage young and
sweet; of violence, because the winds that tore about
the south of England brushed the whole country
into dancing movement. They swept the woods
magnificently, and kept them roaring with a perpetual
48 PAN’S GARDEN
grand voice. Their deepest notes seemed never to
leave the sky. They sang and shouted, and torn
leaves raced and fluttered through the air long before
their usually appointed time. Many a tree, after days
of this roaring and dancing, fell exhausted to the
ground. ‘The cedar on the lawn gave up. two limbs
that fell upon successive days, at the same hour too
—just before dusk. The wind often makes its most
boisterous effort at that time, before it drops with the
sun, and these two huge branches lay in dark ruin
covering half the lawn. ‘They spread across it and
towards the house. They left an ugly gaping space
upon the tree, so that the Lebanon looked unfinished,
half destroyed, a monster shorn of its old-time
comeliness and splendour. Far more of the Forest
was now visible than before ; it peered through the
breach of the broken defences. They could see from
the windows of the house now—especially from the
drawing-room and bedroom windows—straight out
into the glades and depths beyond.
Mrs. Bittacy’s niece and nephew, who were staying
on a visit at the time, enjoyed themselves immensely
helping the gardeners carry off the fragments. It
took two days to do this, for Mr. Bittacy insisted on
the branches being moved entire. He would not
allow them to be chopped ; also, he would not consent
to their use as firewood. Under his superintendence
the unwieldy masses were dragged to the edge of the
garden and arranged upon the frontier line between
the Forest and the lawn. The children were
delighted with the scheme. They entered into it
with enthusiasm. At all costs this defence against
the inroads of the Forest must be made secure.
They caught their uncle’s earnestness, felt even
something of a hidden motive that he had, and the
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 49
visit, usually rather dreaded, became the visit of
their lives instead. It was Aunt Sophia this time
who seemed discouraging and dull.
‘She’s got so old and funny,’ opined Stephen.
But Alice, who felt in the silent displeasure of
her aunt some secret thing that half alarmed her,
said :
‘I think she’s afraid of the woods. She never
comes into them with us, you see.’
‘All the more reason then for making this wall
impreg— all fat and thick and solid,’ he concluded,
unable to manage the longer word. ‘Then nothing
—simply nothing—can get through. Can’t it, Uncle
David ?’
And Mr. Bittacy, jacket discarded and working in
his speckled waistcoat, went puffing to their aid,
arranging the massive limb of the cedar like a
hedge.
‘Come on,’ he said, ‘ whatever happens, you know,
we must finish before it’s dark. Already the wind is
roaring in the Forest further out.” And Alice caught
the phrase and instantly echoed it. ‘Stevie,’ she cried
below her breath, ‘look sharp, you lazy lump.
Didn’t you hear what Uncle David said? It'll
come in and catch us before we’ve done!’
They worked like Trojans, and, sitting beneath
the wistaria tree that climbed the southern wall of the
cottage, Mrs. Bittacy with her knitting watched them,
calling from time to time insignificant messages of
counsel and advice. The messages passed, of course,
unheeded. Mostly, indeed, they were unheard, for
the workers were too absorbed. She warned her
husband not to get too hot, Alice not to tear her
dress, Stephen not to strain his back with pulling.
Her mind hovered between the homoeopathic
E
50 PAN’S GARDEN
medicine-chest upstairs and her anxiety to see the
business finished.
For this breaking up of the cedar had stirred again
her slumbering alarms. It revived memories of the
visit of Mr. Sanderson that had been sinking into
oblivion ; she recalled his queer and odious way of
talking, and many things she hoped forgotten drew
their heads up from that subconscious region to which
all forgetting is impossible. They looked at her and
nodded. They were full of life ; they had no inten-
tion of being pushed aside and buried permanently.
‘Now look!’ they whispered, ‘ didn’t we tell you so?’
They had been merely waiting the right moment to
assert their presence. And all her former vague
distress crept over her. Anxiety, uneasiness returned.
That dreadful sinking of the heart came too.
This incident of the cedar’s breaking up was
actually so unimportant, and yet her husband's
attitude towards it made it so significant. There
was nothing that he said in particular, or did, or left
undone that frightened her, but his general air of
earnestness seemed so unwarranted. She felt that
he deemed the thing important. He was so exercised
about it. This evidence of sudden concern and
interest, buried all the summer from her sight and
knowledge, she realised now had been buried purposely ;
he had kept it intentionally concealed. Deeply sub-
merged in him there ran this tide of other thoughts,
desires, hopes. What were they? Whither did they
lead? The accident to the tree betrayed it most
unpleasantly ; and, doubtless, more than he was
aware.
She watched his grave and serious face as he
worked there with the children, and as she watched
she felt afraid. It vexed her that the children worked
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 51
soeagerly. ‘They unconsciously supported him. The
thing she feared she would not even name. But it
was waiting.
Moreover, as far as her puzzled mind could
deal with a dread so vague and incoherent, the
collapse of the cedar somehow brought it nearer.
The fact that, all so ill-explained and formless, the
thing yet lay in her consciousness, out of reach but
moving and alive, filled her with a kind of puzzled,
dreadful wonder. Its presence was so very real, its
power so gripping, its partial concealment so abomin-
able. Then, out of the dim confusion, she grasped
one thought and saw it stand quite clear before her
eyes. She found difficulty in clothing it in words,
but its meaning perhaps was this: That cedar stood
in their life for something friendly ; its downfall
meant disaster ; a sense of some protective influence
about the cottage, and about her husband in particular,
was thereby weakened.
‘Why do you fear the big winds so?’ he had
asked her several days before, after a particularly
boisterous day ; and the answer she gave surprised
her while she gave it. One of those heads poked
up unconsciously, and let slip the truth :
‘Because, David, I feel they—bring the Forest
with them,’ she faltered. ‘They blow something
from the trees—into the mind—into the house.’
He looked at her keenly for a moment.
‘That must be why I love them then,’ he answered.
‘They blow the souls of the trees about the sky like
clouds.’
The conversation dropped. She had never heard
him talk in quite that way before.
And another time, when he had coaxed her to go
with him down one of the nearer glades, she asked
52 PAN’S GARDEN
why he took the small hand-axe with him, and what
he wanted it for.
‘To cut the ivy that clings to the trunks and
takes their life away,” he said.
‘But can’t the verdurers do that?’ she asked.
‘That’s what they’re paid for, isn’t it?’
Whereupon he explained that ivy was a parasite
the trees knew not how to fight alone, and that the
verdurers were careless and did not do it thoroughly.
They gave a chop here and there, leaving the tree to
do the rest for itself if it could.
‘Besides, I like to do it for them. I love to help
them and protect,’ he added, the foliage rustling all
about his quiet words as they went.
And these stray remarks, as his attitude towards
the broken cedar, betrayed this curious, subtle change
that was going forward in his personality. Slowly
and surely all the summer it had increased.
It was growing—the thought startled her horribly
—just as a tree grows, the outer evidence from day
to day so slight as to be unnoticeable, yet the rising
tide so deep and irresistible. ‘The alteration spread
all through and over him, was in both mind and
actions, sometimes almost in his face as well.
Occasionally, thus, it stood up straight outside him-
self and frightened her. His life was somehow
becoming linked so intimately with trees, and with
all that trees signified. His interests became more
and more their interests, his activity combined with
theirs, his thoughts and feelings theirs, his purpose,
hope, desire, his fate
His fate! The darkness of some vague, enormous
terror dropped its shadow on her when she thought of
it. Some instinct in her heart she dreaded infinitely
more than death—for death meant sweet translation
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 53
for his soul——_came gradually to associate the thought
of him with the thought of trees, in particular with
these Forest trees. Sometimes, before she could face
the thing, argue it away, or pray it into silence, she
found the thought of him running swiftly through
her mind like a thought of the Forest itself, the two
most intimately linked and joined together, each a
part and complement of the other, one being.
The idea was too dim for her to see it face to face.
Its mere possibility dissolved the instant she focussed
it to get the truth behind it. It was too utterly elusive,
mad, protean. Under the attack of even a minute’s
concentration the very meaning of it vanished, melted
away. The idea lay really behind any words that she
could ever find, beyond the touch of definite thought.
Her mind was unable to grapple with it. But, while
it vanished, the trail of its approach and disappear-
ance flickered a moment before her shaking vision.
The horror certainly remained.
Reduced to the simple human statement that her
temperament sought instinctively it stood, perhaps at
this: Her husband loved her, and he loved the trees
as well; but the trees came first, claimed parts of him
she did not know. She loved her God and him. He
loved the trees and her.
Thus, in guise of some faint, distressing com-
promise, the matter shaped itself for her perplexed
mind in the terms of conflict. A silent, hidden battle
raged, but as yet raged far away. ‘he breaking of
the cedar was a visible outward fragment of a
distant and mysterious encounter that was coming
daily closer to them both. The wind, instead of
roaring in the Forest further out, now came nearer,
booming in fitful gusts about its edge and frontiers.
Meanwhile the summer dimmed. The autumn
54 PAN’S GARDEN
winds went sighing through the woods ; leaves turned
to golden red, and the evenings were drawing in with
cosy shadows before the first sign of anything
seriously untoward made its appearance. It came
then with a flat, decided kind of violence that
indicated mature preparation beforehand. It was
not impulsive nor ill-considered. In a fashion it
seemed expected, and indeed inevitable. For within
a fortnight of their annual change to the little village
of Seillans above St. Raphael—a change so regular
for the past ten years that it was not even discussed
between them—David Bittacy abruptly refused to
O.
: Thompson had laid the tea-table, prepared the spirit
lamp beneath the urn, pulled down the blinds in that
swift and silent way she had, and left the room. The
lamps were still unlit. The fire-light shone on the
chintz armchairs, and Boxer lay asleep on the black
horse-hair rug. Upon the walls the gilt picture
frames gleamed faintly, the pictures themselves in-
distinguishable. Mrs. Bittacy had warmed the tea-
pot and was in the act of pouring the water in to
heat the cups when her husband, looking up from
his chair across the hearth, made the abrupt
announcement :
‘My dear,’ he said, as though following a train
of thought of which she only heard this final phrase,
‘it’s really quite impossible for me to go.’
And so abrupt, inconsequent, it sounded that she
at first misunderstood. She thought he meant go
out into the garden or the woods. But her heart
leaped all the same. The tone of his voice was
ominous.
‘Of course not,’ she answered, ‘it would be most
unwise. Why should you ?? She referred to the
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 55
mist that always spread on autumn nights upon the
lawn ; but before she finished the sentence she knew
that he referred to something else. And her heart
then gave its second horrible leap.
‘David! You mean abroad ?’ she gasped.
‘I mean abroad, dear, yes.’
It reminded her of the tone he used when saying
good-bye years ago before one of those jungle expedi-
tions she dreaded. His voice then was so serious, so
final. It was serious and final now. For several
moments she could think of nothing tosay. She busied
herself with the teapot. She had filled one cup with
hot water till it overflowed, and she emptied it slowly
into the slop-basin, trying with all her might not to
let him see the trembling of her hand. The firelight
and the dimness of the room both helped her. But
in any case he would hardly have noticed it. His
thoughts were far away... .
VI
Mrs. Birtacy had never liked their present home.
She preferred a flat, more open country that left
approaches clear. She liked to see things coming.
This cottage on the very edge of the old hunting
grounds of William the Conqueror had never satisfied
her ideal of a safe and pleasant place to settle down
in. The sea-coast, with treeless downs behind and
a clear horizon in front, as at Eastbourne, say, was
her ideal of a proper home.
It was curious, this instinctive aversion she felt
to being shut in—by trees especially; a kind of
claustrophobia almost; probably due, as has been
said, to the days in India when the trees took her
husband off and surrounded him with dangers. In
those weeks of solitude the feeling had matured. She
had fought it in her fashion, but never conquered it.
Apparently routed, it had a way of creeping back
in other forms. In this particular case, yielding to
his strong desire, she thought the battle won, but the
terror of the trees came back before the first month
had passed. They laughed in her face.
She never lost knowledge of the fact that the
leagues of forest lay about their cottage like a mighty
wall, a crowding, watching, listening presence that
shut them in from freedom and escape. Far from
morbid naturally, she did her best to deny the
56
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 57
thought, and so simple and unartificial was her type
of mind that for weeks together she would wholly
lose it. Then, suddenly it would return upon her
with a rush of bleak reality. It was not only in her
mind ; it existed apart from any mere mood; a
separate fear that walked alone; it came and went,
yet when it went—went only to watch her from
another point of view. It was in abeyance—hidden
round the corner.
The Forest never let her go completely. It was
ever ready to encroach. All the branches, she some-
times fancied, stretched one way—towards their tiny
cottage and garden, as though it sought to draw them
in and merge them in itself. Its great, deep-breath-
ing soul resented the mockery, the insolence, the
irritation of the prim garden at its very gates. It
would absorb and smother them if it could. And
every wind that blew its thundering message over
the huge sounding-board of the million, shaking
trees conveyed the purpose that it had. They had
angered its great soul. At its heart was this deep,
incessant roaring.
All this she never framed in words ; the subtleties
of language lay far beyond her reach. But instinct-
ively she felt it; and more besides. It troubled her
profoundly. Chiefly, moreover, for her husband.
Merely for herself, the nightmare might have left
her cold. It was David’s peculiar interest in the
trees that gave the special invitation.
Jealousy, then, in its most subtle aspect came to
strengthen this aversion and dislike, for it came in a
form that no reasonable wife could possibly object to.
Her husband’s passion, she reflected, was natural and
inborn. It had decided his vocation, fed his ambition,
nourished his dreams, desires, hopes. All his best
58 PAN’S GARDEN
years of active life had been spent in the care and
guardianship of trees. He knew them, understood
their secret life and nature, ‘managed’ them intuit-
ively as other men ‘managed’ dogs and horses. He
could not live for long away from them without a
strange, acute nostalgia that stole his peace of mind
and consequently his strength of body. A forest
made him happy and at peace; it nursed and fed
and soothed his deepest moods. Trees influenced
the sources of his life, lowered or raised the very
heart-beat in him. Cut off from them he languished
as a lover of the sea can droop inland, or a moun-
taineer may pine in the flat monotony of the plains.
This she could understand, in a fashion at least,
and make allowances for. She had yielded gently,
even sweetly, to his choice of their English home ;
for in the little island there is nothing that suggests
the woods of wilder countries so nearly as the New
Forest. It has the genuine air and mystery, the
depth and splendour, the loneliness, and here and
there the strong, untamable quality of old-time
forests as Bittacy of the Department knew them.
In a single detail only had he yielded to her
wishes. He consented to a cottage on the edge,
instead of in the heart of it. And for a dozen
years now they had dwelt in peace and happiness at
the lips of this great spreading thing that covered
so many leagues with its tangle of swamps and moors.
and splendid ancient trees.
Only with the last two years or so—with his own
increasing age, and physical decline perhaps—had
come this marked growth of passionate interest in
the welfare of the Forest. She had watched it grow,
at first had laughed at it, then talked sympathetically
so far as sincerity permitted, then had argued
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 59
mildly, and finally come to realise that its treatment
lay altogether beyond her powers, and so had come
to fear it with all her heart.
The six weeks they annually spent away from
their English home, each regarded very differently of
course. For her husband it meant a painful exile
that did his health no good; he yearned for his
trees—the sight and sound and smell of them ; but
for herself it meant release from a haunting dread—
escape. To renounce those six weeks by the sea on
the sunny, shining coast of France, was almost more
than this little woman, even with her unselfishness,
could face.
After the first shock of the announcement, she
reflected as deeply as her nature permitted, prayed,
wept in secret—and made up her mind. Duty, she
felt clearly, pointed to renouncement. The discipline
would certainly be severe—she did not dream at
the moment how severe !—but this fine, consistent
little Christian saw it plain; she accepted it, too,
without any sighing of the martyr, though the
courage she showed was of the martyr order. Her
husband should never know the cost. In all but
this one passion his unselfishness was ever as great as
her own. The love she had borne him all these
years, like the love she bore her anthropomorphic deity,
was deep and real. She loved to suffer for them
both. Besides, the way her husband had put it to
her was singular. It did not take the form of a
mere selfish predilection. Something higher than
two wills in conflict seeking compromise was in it
from the beginning.
‘I feel, Sophia, it would be really more than I
could manage,’ he said slowly, gazing into the fire
60 PAN’S GARDEN
over the tops of his stretched-out muddy boots.
‘My duty and my happiness lie here with the Forest
and with you. My life is deeply rooted in this
place. Something I can’t define connects my inner
being with these trées, and separation would make
me ill—might even kill me. My hold on life would
weaken; here is my source of supply. I cannot
explain it better than that.’ He looked up steadily
into her face across the table so that she saw the
gravity of his expression and the shining of his
steady eyes.
‘David, you feel it as strongly as that!’ she
said, forgetting the tea things altogether.
‘Yes,’ he replied, ‘I do. And it’s not of the
body only ; I feel it in my soul.’
The reality of what he hinted at crept into that
shadow-covered room like an actual Presence and
stood beside them. It came not by the windows
or the door, but it filled the entire space between
the walls and ceiling. It took the heat from
the fire before her face. She felt suddenly cold,
confused a little, frightened. She almost felt the
rush of foliage in the wind. It stood between them.
‘There are things—some things,’ she faltered,
‘we are not intended to know, I think.’ The words
expressed her general attitude to life, not alone to
this particular incident.
_ And after a pause of several minutes, disregard-
ing the criticism as though he had not heard it—
‘I cannot explain it better than that, you see,’
his grave voice answered. ‘There zs this deep,
tremendous link,—some secret power they emanate
that keeps me well and happy and—alive. If you
cannot understand, I feel at least you may be able ©
to—forgive.’ His tone grew tender, gentle, soft.
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 61
«My selfishness, I know, must seem quite unfor-
givable. I cannot help it somehow ; these trees,
this ancient Forest, both seem knitted into all that
makes me live, and if I go
There was a little sound of collapse in his voice.
He stopped abruptly, and sank back in his chair.
And, at that, a distinct lump came up into her throat
which she had great difficulty in managing while she
went over and put her arms about him.
‘My dear,’ she murmured, ‘God will direct.
We will accept His guidance. He has always
shown the way before.’
‘My selfishness afflicts me
would not let him finish.
‘David, He will direct. Nothing shall harm you.
You’ve never once been selfish, and I cannot
bear to hear you say such things. The way will
open that is best for you—for both of us.’ She
kissed him ; she would not let him speak ; her heart
was in her throat, and she felt for him far more than
for herself.
And then he had suggested that she should go
alone perhaps for a shorter time, and stay in her
brother’s villa with the children, Alice and Stephen.
It was always open to her as she well knew.
‘You need the change,’ he said, when the lamps
had been lit and the servant had gone out again ;
‘you need it as much as I dread it. I could manage
somehow till you returned, and should feel happier
that way if you went. I cannot leave this Forest
that I love so well. I even feel, Sophie dear ’—he
sat up straight and faced her as he half whispered 1t—
‘that I can never leave it again. My life and happi-
ness lie here together.’
And even while scorning the idea that she could
he began, but she
62 PAN’S GARDEN
leave him alone with the Influence of the Forest all
about him to have its unimpeded way, she felt the
pangs of that subtle jealousy bite keen and close.
He loved the Forest better than herself, for he placed
it first. Behind the words, moreover, hid the
unuttered thought that made her so uneasy. The
terror Sanderson had brought revived and shook
its wings before her very eyes. For the whole
conversation, of which this was a fragment, conveyed
the unutterable implication that while he could not
spare the trees, they equally could not spare him.
The vividness with which he managed to conceal
and yet betray the fact brought a profound distress
that crossed the border between presentiment and
warning into positive alarm.
He clearly felt that the trees would miss him—
the trees he tended, guarded, watched over, loved.
‘David, I shall stay here with you. I think you
need me really,—don’t you?’ Eagerly, with a
touch of heart-felt passion, the words poured out.
‘Now more than ever, dear. God bless you for
your sweet unselfishness. And your sacrifice,’ he
added, ‘is all the greater because you cannot
understand the thing that makes it necessary for
me to stay.’
«Perhaps in the spring instead
a tremor in the voice.
‘In the spring—perhaps,’ he answered gently,
almost beneath his breath. ‘For they will not need
me then. All the world can love them in the
spring. It’s in the winter that they’re lonely and
neglected. I wish to stay with them particularly
then. I even feel I ought to—and I must.’
And in this way, without further speech, the
decision was made. Mrs. Bittacy, at least, asked no
she said, with
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 63
more questions. Yet she could not bring herself to
show more sympathy than was necessary. She felt,
for one thing, that if she did, it might lead him to
speak freely, and to tell her things she could not
possibly bear to know. And she dared not take the
risk of that.
Vil
Tuis was at the end of summer, but the autumn
followed close. ‘The conversation really marked the
threshold between the two seasons, and marked at
the same time the line between her husband’s nega-
tive and aggressive state. She almost felt she had
done wrong to yield ; he grew so bold, concealment
all discarded. He went, that is, quite openly to the
woods, forgetting all his duties, all his former occupa-
tions. He even sought to coax her to go with him.
The hidden thing blazed out without disguise. And,
while she trembled at his energy, she admired the
virile passion he displayed. Her jealousy had long
ago retired before her fear, accepting the second
place. Her one desire now was to protect. The
wife turned wholly mother.
He said so little, but—he hated to come in.
From morning to night he wandered in the Forest ;
often he went out after dinner ; his mind was charged
with trees—their foliage, growth, development ;
their wonder, beauty, strength ; their loneliness in
isolation, their power in a herded mass. He knew
the effect of every wind upon them ; the danger from
the boisterous north, the glory from the west,
the eastern dryness, and the soft, moist tenderness
that a south wind left upon their thinning boughs.
He spoke all day of their sensations: how they drank
64
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 65
the fading sunshine, dreamed in the moonlight, thrilled
to the kiss of stars. The dew could bring them half
the passion of the night, but frost sent them plunging
beneath the ground to dwell with hopes of a later
coming softness in their roots. They nursed the life
they carried—insects, larvae, chrysalis—and when the
skies above them melted, he spoke of them standing
“motionless in an ecstasy of rain,” or in the noon
of sunshine ‘self-poised upon their prodigy of
shade.’
And once in the middle of the night she woke at
the sound of his voice, and heard him—wide awake,
not talking in his sleep—but talking towards the
window where the shadow of the cedar fell at noon :
O art thou sighing for Lebanon
In the long breeze that streams to thy delicious East?
Sighing for Lebanon,
Dark cedar ;
and, when, half charmed, half terrified, she turned
and called to him by name, he merely said—
‘My dear, I felt the loneliness—suddenly realised
it—the alien desolation of that tree, set here upon
our little lawn in England when all her Eastern
brothers call to her in sleep.’ And the answer seemed
so queer, so ‘ un-evangelical,’ that she waited in silence
till he slept again. The poetry passed her by. It
seemed unnecessary and out of place. It made her
ache with suspicion, fear, jealousy.
The fear, however, seemed somehow all lapped up
and banished soon afterwards by her unwilling admira-
tion of the rushing splendour of her husband’s state.
Her anxiety, at any rate, shifted from the religious
to the medical. She thought he might be losing his
steadiness of mind a little. How often in her prayers
she offered thanks for the guidance that had made
F
66 PAN’S GARDEN
her stay with him to help and watch is impossible to
say. It certainly was twice a day.
She even went so far once, when Mr. Mortimer,
the vicar, called, and brought with him a more or
less distinguished doctor—as to tell the professional
man privately some symptoms of her husband’s
queerness. And his answer that there was ‘nothing
he could prescribe for’ added not a little to her sense
of unholy bewilderment. No doubt Sir James had
never been ‘consulted ’ under such unorthodox con-
ditions before. His sense of what was becoming
naturally overrode his acquired instincts as a skilled
instrument that might help the race.
‘No fever, you think ?’ she asked insistently with
hurry, determined to get something from him.
‘Nothing that J can deal with, as I told you,
Madam,’ replied the offended allopathic Knight.
Evidently he did not care about being invited to
examine patients in this surreptitious way before a
teapot on the lawn, chance of a fee most prob-
lematical. He liked to see a tongue and feel a
thumping pulse; to know the pedigree and bank
account of his questioner as well. It was most un-
usual, in abominable taste besides. Of course it was.
But the drowning woman seized the only straw she
could.
For now the aggressive attitude of her husband
overcame her to the point where she found it difficult
even to question him. Yet in the house he was so
kind and gentle, doing all he could to make her
sacrifice as easy as possible.
‘David, you really are unwise to go out now.
The night is damp and very chilly. The ground is
soaked in dew. You'll catch your death of cold.’
His face lightened. ‘Won't you come with me,
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 67
dear,—just for once? I’m only going to the corner
of the hollies to see the beech that stands so lonely
by itself.’
She had been out with him in the short dark
afternoon, and they had passed that evil group
of hollies where the gipsies camped. Nothing else
would grow there, but the hollies throve upon the
stony soil.
‘David, the beech is all right and safe.’ She had
learned his phraseology a little, made clever out of
due season by her love. ‘There’s no wind to-night.’
‘But it’s rising,’ he answered, ‘rising in the east.
I heard it in the bare and hungry larches. They need
the sun and dew, and always cry out when the wind’s
upon them from the east.’
She sent a short unspoken prayer most swiftly to
her deity as she heard him say it. For every time
now, when he spoke in this familiar, intimate way of
the life of the trees, she felt a sheet of cold fasten
tight against her very skin and flesh. She shivered.
How could he possibly know such things?
Yet, in all else, and in the relations of his daily
life, he was sane and reasonable, loving, kind and
tender. It was only on the subject of the trees he
seemed unhinged and queer. Most curiously it
seemed that, since the collapse of the cedar they both
loved, though in different fashion, his departure from
the normal had increased. Why else did he watch
them as a man might watch a sickly child? Why
did he linger especially in the dusk to catch their
‘mood of night’ as he called it? Why think so
carefully upon them when the frost was threatening
or the wind appeared to rise?
As she put it so frequently now to herself—How
could he possibly kzow such things?
68 PAN’S GARDEN
He went. As she closed the front door after him
she heard the distant roaring in the Forest. . . .
And then it suddenly struck her : How could she
know them too?
It dropped upon her like a blow that she felt at
once all over, upon body, heart and mind. The
discovery rushed out from its ambush to overwhelm.
The truth of it, making all arguing futile, numbed
her faculties. But though at first it deadened her,
she soon revived, and her being rose into aggressive
opposition. A wild yet calculated courage like that
which animates the leaders of splendid forlorn hopes
flamed in her little person—flamed grandly, and in-
vincible. While knowing herself insignificant and
weak, she knew at the same time that power at her
back which moves the worlds. The faith that filled
her was the weapon in her hands, and the right by
which she claimed it ; but the spirit of utter, selfless
sacrifice that characterised her life was the means by
which she mastered its immediate use. For a kind
of white and faultless intuition guided her to the
attack. Behind her stood her Bible and her God.
How so magnificent a divination came to her at
all may well be a matter for astonishment, though
some clue of explanation lies, perhaps, in the very
simpleness of her nature. At any rate, she saw quite
clearly certain things ; saw them in moments only—
after prayer, in the still silence of the night, or when
left alone those long hours in the house with her
knitting and her thoughts—and the guidance which
then flashed into her remained, even after the manner
of its coming was forgotten.
They came to her, these things she saw, formless,
wordless ; she could not put them into any kind of
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 69
language ; but by the very fact of being uncaught
in sentences they retained their original clear vigour.
Hours of patient waiting brought the first, and
the others followed easily afterwards, by degrees, on
subsequent days, a little and a little. Her husband
had been gone since early morning, and had taken
his luncheon with him. She was sitting by the tea
things, the cups and teapot warmed, the muffins in
the fender keeping hot, all ready for his return,
When she realised quite abruptly that this thing
which took him off, which kept him out so many
hours day after day, this thing that was against her
own little will and instincts—was enormous as the
sea. It was no mere prettiness of single Trees, but
something massed and mountainous. About her
rose the wall of its huge opposition to the sky, its
scale gigantic, its power utterly prodigious. What
she knew of it hitherto as green and delicate forms
waving and rustling in the winds was but, as it were,
the spray of foam that broke into sight upon the
nearer edge of viewless depths far, far away. The
trees, indeed, were sentinels set visibly about the
limits of a camp that itself remained invisible. The
awful hum and murmur of the main body in the
distance passed into that still room about her with
the firelight and hissing kettle. Out yonder—in the
Forest further out—the thing that was ever roaring
at the centre was dreadfully increasing.
The sense of definite battle, too—battle between
herself and the Forest for his soul—came with it.
Its presentment was as clear as though Thompson
had come into the room and quietly told her that
the cottage was surrounded. ‘Please, ma’am, there
are trees come up about the house,’ she might have
suddenly announced. And equally might have heard
70 PAN’S GARDEN
her own answer: ‘It’s all right, Thompson. The
main body is still far away.’
Immediately upon its heels, then, came another
truth, with a close reality that shocked her. She
saw that jealousy was not confined to the human
and animal world alone, but ran through all creation.
The Vegetable Kingdom knew it too. So-called
inanimate nature shared it with the rest. Trees felt
it. This Forest just beyond the window—standing
there in the silence of the autumn evening across the
little lawn—this Forest understood it equaliy. The
remorseless, branching power that sought to keep
exclusively for itself the thing it loved and needed,
spread like a running desire through all its million
leaves and stems and roots. In humans, of course, it
was consciously directed; in animals it acted with
frank instinctiveness ; but in trees this jealousy rose
in some blind tide of impersonal and unconscious
wrath that would sweep opposition from its path as
the wind sweeps powdered snow from the surface of
the ice. Their number was a host with endless re-
inforcements, and once it realised its passion was
returned the power increased. ... Her husband
loved the trees. . . . They had become aware of
it. . . . They would take him from her in the
Cn eve
Then, while she heard his footsteps in the hall and
the closing of the front door, she saw a third thing
clearly ;—realised the widening of the gap between
herself and him. This other love had made it.
All these weeks of the summer when she felt so close
to him, now especially when she had made the
biggest sacrifice of her life to stay by his side and
help him, he had been slowly, surely —drawing away.
The estrangement was here and now—a fact accom-
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 71
plished. It had been all this time maturing ; there
yawned this broad deep space between them. Across
the empty distance she saw the change in merciless
perspective. It revealed his face and figure, dearly-
loved, once fondly worshipped, far on the other side in
shadowy distance, small, the back turned from her,
and moving while she watched—moving away from
her.
They had their tea in silence then. She asked no
questions, he volunteered no information of his day.
The heart was big within her, and the terrible loneli-
ness of age spread through her like a rising icy mist.
She watched him, filling all his wants. His hair was
untidy and his boots were caked with blackish mud.
He moved with a restless, swaying motion that
somehow blanched her cheek and sent a miserable
shivering down her back. It reminded her of
trees. His eyes were very bright.
He brought in with him an odour of the earth
and forest that seemed to choke her and make it
difficult to breathe ; and—-what she noticed with a
climax of almost uncontrollable alarm—upon his face
beneath the lamplight shone traces of a mild, faint
glory that made her think of moonlight falling
upon a wood through speckled shadows. It was his
new-found happiness that shone there, a happiness
uncaused by her and in which she had no part.
In his coat was a spray of faded yellow beech leaves.
‘I brought this from the Forest for you,’ he said,
with all the air that belonged to his little acts of
devotion long ago. And she took the spray of leaves
mechanically with a smile and a murmured ‘thank
you, dear,’ as though he had unknowingly put into her
hands the weapon for her own destruction and she
had accepted it.
72 PAN’S GARDEN
And when the tea was over and he left the room,
he did not go to his study, or to change his clothes.
She heard the front door softly shut behind him as
he again went out towards the Forest. |
A moment later she was in her room upstairs,
kneeling beside the bed—the side he slept on—and
praying wildly through a flood of tears that God
would save and keep him to her. Wind brushed the
window panes behind her while she knelt.
Vill
One sunny November morning, when the strain had
reached a pitch that made repression almost un-
manageable, she came to an impulsive decision, and
obeyed it. Her husband had again gone out with
luncheon for the day. She took adventure in her
hands and followed him. The power of seeing-clear
was strong upon her, forcing her up to some un-
natural level of understanding. To stay indoors and
wait inactive for his return seemed suddenly impossible.
She meant to know what he knew, feel what he felt,
put herself in his place. She would dare the fascina-
tion of the Forest—share it with him. It was greatly
daring ; but it would give her greater understanding
how to help and save him and therefore greater
Power. She went upstairs a moment first to
pray.
In a thick, warm skirt, and wearing heavy boots
—those walking boots she used with him upon the
mountains about Seillans—she left the cottage by the
back way and turned towards the Forest. She could
not actually follow him, for he had started off an
hour before and she knew not exactly his direction.
What was so urgent in her was the wish to be with
him in the woods, to walk beneath the leafless branches
just as he did: to be there when he was there, even
though not together. For it had come to her that
73
74 PAN’S GARDEN
she might thus share with him for once this horrible
mighty life and breathing of the trees he loved. In
winter, he had said, they needed him particularly ;
and winter now was coming. Her love must bring
her something of what he felt himself—the huge
attraction, the suction and the pull of all the trees.
Thus, in some vicarious fashion, she might share,
though unknown to himself, this very thing that was
taking him away from her. She might thus even
lessen its attack upon himself.
The impulse came to her clairvoyantly, and she
obeyed without a sign of hesitation. Deeper com-
prehension would come to her of the whole awful
puzzle. And come it did, yet not in the way she
imagined and expected.
The air was very still, the sky a cold pale blue,
but cloudless. The entire Forest stood silent, at
attention. It knew perfectly well that she had come.
It knew the moment when she entered ; watched and
followed her; and behind her something dropped
without a sound and shut her in. Her feet upon the
glades of mossy grass fell silently, as the oaks and
beeches shifted past in rows and took up their
positions at her back. _ It was not pleasant, this way
they grew so dense behind her the instant she had
passed. She realised that they gathered in an ever-
growing army, massed, herded, trooped, between her
and the cottage, shutting off escape. They let her
pass so easily, but to get out again she would know
them differently—thick, crowded, branches all drawn
and hostile. Already their increasing numbers be-
wildered her. In front, they looked so sparse and
scattered, with open spaces where the sunshine fell ;
but when she turned it seemed they stood so close
together, a serried army, darkening the sunlight.
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 75
They blocked the day, collected all the shadows,
stood with their leafless and forbidding rampart like
the night. They swallowed down into themselves
the very glade by which she came. For when she
glanced behind her—rarely—the way she had come
was shadowy and lost.
Yet the morning sparkled overhead, and a glance
of excitement ran quivering through the entire day.
It was what she always knew as ‘children’s weather,’
so clear and harmless, without a sign of danger,
nothing ominous to threaten or alarm. Steadfast in
her purpose, looking back as little as she dared,
Sophia Bittacy marched slowly and deliberately into the
_ heart of the silent woods, deeper, ever deeper... .
_ And then, abruptly, in an open space where the
sunshine fell unhindered, she stopped. It was one of
the breathing-places of the forest. Dead, withered
bracken lay in patches of unsightly grey. There
were bits of heather too. All round the trees stood
looking on—oak, beech, holly, ash, pine, larch, with
here and there small groups of juniper.’ On the
lips of this breathing-space of the woods she
stopped to rest, disobeying her instinct for the first
time. For the other instinct in her was to go on.
She did not really want to rest.
This was the little act that brought it to her—the
wireless message from a vast Emitter.
‘T’ve been stopped,’ she thought to herself with a
horrid qualm.
She looked about her in this quiet, ancient place.
Nothing stirred. There was no life nor sign of life ;
no birds sang ; no rabbits scuttled off at her approach.
The stillness was bewildering, and gravity hung down
upon it like a heavy curtain. It hushed the heart in
her. Could this be part of what her husband felt—
76 PAN’S GARDEN
this sense of thick entanglement with stems, boughs,
roots, and foliage?
‘This has always been as it is now,’ she thought,
yet not knowing why she thought it. ‘Ever since
the Forest grew it has been still and secret here. It
has never changed.’ The curtain of silence drew
closer while she said it, thickening round her. ‘For
a thousand years—I’m here with a thousand years.
And behind this place stand all the forests of the
world !’
So foreign to her temperament were such thoughts,
and so alien to all she had been taught to look for in
Nature, that she strove against them. She made an
effort to oppose. But they clung and haunted just
the same ; they refused to be dispersed. The curtain
hung dense and heavy as though its texture thickened.
The air with difficulty came through.
And then she thought that curtain stirred. There
was movement somewhere. ‘That obscure dim thing
which ever broods behind the visible appearances of
trees came nearer to her. She caught her breath
and stared about her, listening intently. The trees,
perhaps because she saw them more in detail now, it
seemed to her had changed. A vague, faint alteration
spread over them, at first so slight she scarcely would
admit it, then growing steadily, though still obscurely,
outwards. ‘They tremble and are changed,’ flashed
through her mind the horrid line that Sanderson had
quoted. Yet the change was graceful for all the
uncouthness attendant upon the size of so vast a
movement. They had turned in her direction.
That was it. They saw her.
In this way the change expressed itself in her
groping, terrified thought. Till now it had been
otherwise: she had looked at them from her own
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 77
point of view; now they looked at her from theirs.
They stared her in the face and eyes; they stared at
her all over. In some unkind, resentful, hostile way,
they watched her. Hitherto in life she had watched
them variously, in superficial ways, reading into them
what her own mind suggested. Now they read into
her the things they actually were, and not merely
another’s interpretation of them.
They seemed in their motionless silence there
instinct with life, a life, moreover, that breathed
about her a species of terrible soft enchantment that
bewitched. It branched all through her, climbing to
the brain. The Forest held her with its huge and
giant fascination. In this secluded breathing-spot
that the centuries had left untouched, she had stepped
close against the hidden pulse of the whole collective
mass of them. They were aware of her and had
turned to gaze with their myriad, vast sight upon
the intruder. They shouted at her in the silence.
For she wanted to look back at them, but it was like
staring at a crowd, and her glance merely shifted
from one tree to another, hurriedly, finding in none
the one she sought. They saw her so easily, each
and all. The rows that stood behind her also stared.
But she could not return the gaze. Her husband,
she realised, could. And their steady stare shocked
her as though in some sense she knew that she was
naked. They saw so much of her: she saw of them
—so little.
Her efforts to return their gaze were pitiful.
The constant shifting increased her bewilderment.
Conscious of this awful and enormous sight all over
her, she let her eyes first rest upon the ground ; and
then she closed them altogether. She kept the lids
as tight together as ever they would go.
78 PAN’S GARDEN
But the sight of the trees came even into that
inner darkness behind the fastened lids, for there was
no escaping it. Outside, in the light, she still knew
that the leaves of the hollies glittered smoothly, that
the dead foliage of the oaks hung crisp in the air
above her, that the needles of the little junipers were
pointing all one way. The spread perception of the
Forest was focussed on herself, and no mere shutting
of the eyes could hide its scattered yet concentrated
stare—the all-inclusive vision of great woods.
There was no wind, yet here and there a single
leaf hanging by its dried-up stalk shook all alone
with great rapidity—rattling. It was the sentry
drawing attention to her presence. And then, again,
as once long weeks before, she felt their Being as
a tide about her. The tide had turned. That
memory of her childhood sands came back, when
the nurse said, ‘ The tide has turned now ; we must
go in,’ and she saw the mass of piled-up waters, green
and heaped to the horizon, and realised that it was
slowly coming in. ‘The gigantic mass of it, too vast
for hurry, loaded with massive purpose, she used to
feel, was moving towards herself. ‘The fluid body
of the sea was creeping along beneath the sky to
the very spot upon the yellow sands where she stood
and played. The sight and thought of it had always
overwhelmed her with a sense of awe—as though her
puny self were the object of the whole sea’s advance.
‘The tide has turned ; we had better now go in.’
This was happening now about her—the same
thing was happening in the woods—slow, sure, and
steady, and its motion as little discernible as the sea’s.
The tide had turned. The small human presence
that had ventured among its green and mountainous
depths, moreover, was its objective.
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 79
That all was clear within her while she sat and
waited with tight-shut lids. But the next moment
she opened her eyes with a sudden realization of
something more. The presence that it sought was
after all not hers. It was the presence of some one
other than herself. And thenshe understood. Her
eyes had opened with a click, it seemed; but the
sound, in reality, was outside herself. Across the
clearing where the sunshine lay so calm and still, she
saw the figure of her husband moving among the
trees—a man, like a tree, walking.
With hands behind his back, and head uplifted,
he moved quite slowly, as though absorbed in his
own thoughts. Hardly fifty paces separated them,
_ but he had no inkling of her presence there so near.
With mind intent and senses all turned inwards, he
marched past her like a figure in a dream, and like
a figure in a dream she saw him go. Love, yearning,
pity rose in a storm within her, but as in nightmare
she found no words or movement possible. She sat and
watched him go—go from her—go into the deeper
reaches of the green enveloping woods. Desire to
save, to bid him stop and turn, ran in a passion
through her being, but there was nothing she could
do. She saw him go away from her, go of his own
accord and willingly beyond her; she saw the
branches drop about his steps and hide him. His
figure faded out among the speckled shade and sun-
light. The trees covered him. The tide just took
him, all unresisting and content to go. Upon the
bosom of the green soft sea he floated away beyond
her reach of vision. Her eyes could follow him no
longer. He was gone.
And then for the first time she realised, even at
that distance, that the look upon his face was one of
80 PAN’S GARDEN
peace and happiness—rapt, and caught away in joy,
a look of youth. That expression now he never
showed to her. But she 4ad known it. Years ago,
in the early days of their married life, she had seen it
on his face. Now it no longer obeyed the summons
of her presence and her love. The woodsalone could
call it forth ; it answered to the trees; the Forest had
taken every part of him—from her—his very heart
and soul... .
Her sight that had plunged inwards to the fields
of faded memory now came back to outer things
again. She looked about her, and her love, returning
empty-handed and unsatisfied, left her open to the
invading of the bleakest terror she had ever known.
That such things could be real and happen found her
helpless utterly. Terror invaded the quietest corners
of her heart, that had never yet known quailing.
She could not—for moments at any rate—reach
either her Bible or her God. Desolate in an empty
world of fear she sat with eyes too dry and hot
for tears, yet with a coldness as of ice upon her
very flesh. She stared, unseeing, about her. That
horror which stalks in the stillness of the noonday,
when the glare of an artificial sunshine lights up the
motionless trees, moved all about her. In front and
behind she was aware of it. Beyond this stealthy
silence, just within the edge of it, the things of
another world were passing. But she could not know
them. Her husband knew them, knew their beauty
and their awe, yes, but for her they were out of
reach. She might not share with him the very least
of them. It seemed that behind and through the
glare of this wintry noonday in the heart of the
woods there brooded another universe of life and
passion, for her all unexpressed. The silence veiled —
THE MAN WHOM THE TREESLOVED 8:
it, the stillness hid it; but he moved with it all and
understood. His love interpreted it.
She rose to her feet, tottered feebly, and collapsed
again upon the moss. Yet for herself she felt no
terror; no little personal fear could touch her whose
anguish and deep longing streamed all out to him
whom she so bravely loved. In this time of utter
self-forgetfulness, when she realised that the battle
was hopeless, thinking she had lost even her God, she
found Him again quite close beside her like a little
Presence in this terrible heart of the hostile Forest.
But at first she did not recognise that He was there ;
she did not know Him in that strangely unacceptable
guise. For He stood so very close, so very intimate,
So very sweet and comforting, and yet so hard to
understand—as Resignation.
Once more she struggled to her feet, and this time
turned successfully and slowly made her way along
the mossy glade by which she came. And at first
she marvelled, though only for a moment, at the ease
with which she found the path. Fora moment only,
because almost at once she saw the truth. The trees
were glad that she should go. They helped her on
her way. The Forest did not want her.
The tide was coming in, indeed, yet not for her.
And so, in another of those flashes of clear-vision
that of late had lifted life above the normal level, she
saw and understood the whole terrible thing complete.
Till now, though unexpressed in thought or
language, her fear had been that the woods her
husband loved would somehow take him from her—
to merge his life in theirs—even to kill him in some
mysterious way. This time she saw her deep mis-
take, and so seeing, let in upon herself the fuller
G
82 PAN’S GARDEN
agony of horror. For their jealousy was not the
petty jealousy of animals or humans. They wanted
him because they loved him, but they did not want
him dead. Full charged with his splendid life and
enthusiasm they wanted him. They wanted him—
alive.
It was she who stood in their way, and it was she
whom they intended to remove.
This was what brought the sense of abject helpless-
ness. She stood upon the sands against an entire
ocean slowly rolling in against her. For, as all the
forces of a human being combine unconsciously
ta eject a grain of sand that has crept beneath
the, skin to cause discomfort, so the entire mass
of what Sanderson had called the Collective Con-
sciousness of the Forest strove to eject this human
atom that stood across the path of its desire. Loving
her husband, she had crept beneath its skin. It was
her they would eject and take away ; it was her they
would destroy, not him. Him, whom they loved
and needed, they would keep alive. ‘They meant to
take him living.
She reached the house in safety, though she never
remembered how she found her way. It was made
all simple for her. The branches almost urged her
out.
But behind her, as she left the shadowed precincts,
she felt as though some towering Angel of the Woods
I¢t fall across the threshold the flaming sword of a
countless multitude of leaves that formed behind her
a barrier, green, shimmering, and impassable. Into
the Forest she never walked again.
And she went about her daily duties with a calm
and quietness that was a perpetual astonishment even
”
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 83
to herself, for it hardly seemed of this world at all.
She talked to her husband when he came in for tea
—after dark. Resignation brings a curious large
courage—when there is nothing more to lose. . The
soul takes risks, and dares. Is it a curious short-cut
sometimes to the heights ?
‘David, I went into the Forest, too, this morning ;
soon after you I went. I saw you there.’
‘Wasn't it wonderful?’ he answered simply,
inclining his head a little. There was no surprise
or annoyance in his look; a mild and gentle ennui
rather. He asked no real question, She thought
of some garden tree the wind attacks too suddenly,
| bending it over when it does not want to bend—the
mild unwillingness with which it yields. She often
saw him this way now, in the terms of trees.
‘It was very wonderful indeed, dear, yes,’ she
replied low, her voice not faltering though indistinct.
‘But for me it was too—too strange and big.’
The passion of tears lay just below the quiet voice
all unbetrayed. Somehow she kept them back.
There was a pause, and then he added :
‘I find it more and more so every day.’ His
voice passed through the lamp-lit room like a murmur
of the wind in branches. The look of youth and
happiness she had caught upon his face out there had
wholly gone, and an expression of weariness was in
its place, as of a man distressed vaguely at finding
himself in uncongenial surroundings where he is
slightly ill at ease. It was the house he hated—
coming back to rooms and wallsand furniture. The
ceilings and closed windows confined him. Yet, in
it, no suggestion that he found fer irksome. Her
presence seemed of no account at all; indeed, he
hardly noticed her. For whole long periods he lost
84 PAN’S GARDEN
her, did not know that she was there. He had no
need of her. He lived alone. Each lived alone.
The outward signs by which she recognised that
the awful battle was against her and the terms of
surrender accepted were pathetic. She put the
medicine-chest away upon the shelf; she gave the
orders for his pocket-luncheon before he asked ; she
went to bed alone and early, leaving the front door
unlocked, with milk and bread and butter in the hall
beside the lamp—all concessions that she felt impelled
to make. For more and more, unless the weather
was too violent, he went out after dinner even, staying
for hours in the woods. But she never slept until
she heard the front door close below, and knew soon
afterwards his careful step come creeping up the
stairs and into the room so softly. Until she heard
his regular deep breathing close beside her, she lay
awake. All strength or desire to resist had gone for
good. The thing against her was too huge and power-
ful. Capitulation was complete, a fact accomplished.
. She dated it from the day she followed him to the
Forest.
Moreover, the time for evacuation—her own
evacuation—seemed approaching. It came stealthily
ever nearer, surely and slowly as the rising tide she
used to dread. At the high-water mark she stood
waiting calmly—waiting to be swept away. Across
the lawn all those terrible days of early winter the
encircling Forest watched it come, guiding its silent
swell and currents towards her feet. Only she never
once gave up her Bible or her praying. This com-
plete resignation, moreover, had somehow brought to
her a strange great understanding, and if she could
not share her husband’s horrible abandonment to
powers outside himself, she could, and did, in some
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 85
half-groping way grasp at shadowy meanings that
might make such abandonment—possible, yes, but
more than merely possible—in some extraordinary
sense not evil.
Hitherto she had divided the beyond-world into
two sharp halves—spirits good or spirits evil. But
thoughts came to her now, on soft and very tentative
feet, like the footsteps of the gods which are on wool,
that besides these definite classes, there might be other
Powers as well, belonging definitely to neither one nor
other. Her thought stopped dead at that. But the
big idea found lodgment in her little mind, and, owing
to the largeness of her heart, remained there unejected.
It even brought a certain solace with it.
The failure—or unwillingness, as she preferred to
state it—of her God to interfere and help, that also
she came in a measure to understand. For here, she
found it more and more possible to imagine, was
perhaps no positive evil at work, but only something
that usually stands away from humankind, some-
thing alien and not commonly recognised. There
was a gulf fixed between the two, and Mr. Sanderson
had bridged it, by his talk, his explanations, his
attitude of mind. Through these her husband had
found the way into it. His temperament and natural
passion for the woods had prepared the soul in him,
and the moment he saw the way to go he took it—
the line of least resistance. Life was, of course,
open to all, and her husband had the right to choose
it where he would. He had chosen it—away from
her, away from other men, but not necessarily away
from God. ‘This was an enormous concession that
she skirted, never really faced; it was too revolu-
tionary to face. But its possibility peeped into her
bewildered mind. It might delay his progress, or it
86 PAN’S GARDEN
might advance it. Who could know? And why
should God, who ordered all things with such
magnificent detail, from the pathway of a sun to the
falling of a sparrow, object to his free choice, or
interfere to hinder him and stop?
She came to realise resignation, that is, in another
aspect. It gave her comfort, if not peace. She
fought against all belittling of her God. It was,
perhaps, enough that He—knew.
‘You are not alone, dear, in the trees out
there?’ she ventured one night, as he crept on tiptoe
into the room not far from midnight. ‘God is with
ou?’
Ne Magnificently,’ was the immediate answer, given
with enthusiasm, ‘ for Heiseverywhere. And I only
wish that you :
But she stuffed the clothes against her ears. That
invitation on his lips was more than she could bear
to hear. It seemed like asking her to hurry to her
ownexecution. She buried her face among the sheets
and blankets, shaking all over like a leaf.
IX
AND so the thought that she was the one to go re-
mained and grew. It was, perhaps, first sign of that
weakening of the mind which indicated the singular
manner of her going. For it was her mental opposi-
tion, the trees felt, that stood in their way. Once
that was overcome, obliterated, her physical presence
did not matter. She would be harmless.
Having accepted defeat, because she had come to
feel that his obsession was not actually evil, she
accepted at the same time the conditions of an
atrocious loneliness. She stood now from her husband
farther than from the moon. They had no visitors.
Callers were few and far between, and less encouraged
than before. The empty dark of winter was before
them. Among the neighbours was none in whom,
without disloyalty to her husband, she could confide.
Mr. Mortimer, had he been single, might have helped
her in this desert of solitude that preyed upon her
mind, but his wife was there the obstacle ; for Mrs.
Mortimer wore sandals, believed that nuts were the
complete food of man, and indulged in other idiosyn-
crasies that classed her inevitably among the ‘latter
signs’ which Mrs. Bittacy had been taught to dread
as dangerous. She stood most desolately alone.
Solitude, therefore, in which the mind unhindered
feeds upon its own delusions, was the assignable cause
of her gradual mental disruption and collapse.
87
88 PAN’S GARDEN
With the definite arrival of the colder weather her
husband gave up his rambles after dark; evenings
were spent together over the fire; he read The
Times ; they even talked about their postponed visit
abroad in the coming spring. No restlessness was
on him at the change; he seemed content and easy
in his mind; spoke little of the trees and woods ;
enjoyed far better health than if there had been
change of scene, and to herself was tender, kind,
solicitous over trifles, as in the distant days of their
first honeymoon.
But this deep calm could not deceive her; it
meant, she fully understood, that he felt sure of
himself, sure of her, and sure of the trees as well. It
all lay buried in the depths of him, too secure and
deep, too intimately established in his central being
to permit of those surface fluctuations which betray
disharmony within. His life was hid with trees.
Even the fever, so dreaded in the damp of winter,
left him free. She now knew why. The fever was
due to their efforts to obtain him, his efforts to re-
spond and go—physical results of a fierce unrest he
had never understood till Sanderson came with his
wicked explanations. Now it was otherwise. The
bridge was made. And—he had gone.
And she, brave, loyal, and consistent soul, found
herself utterly alone, even trying to make his passage
easy. It seemed that she stood at the bottom of
some huge ravine that opened in her mind, the walls
whereof instead of rock were trees that reached
enormous to the sky, engulfing her. God alone
knew that she was there. He watched, permitted,
even perhaps approved. At any rate—He knew.
During those quiet evenings in the house, more-
over, while they sat over the fire listening to the
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 89
roaming winds about the house, her husband knew
continual access to the world his alien love had fur-
nished for him. Never for a single instant was he
cut off from it. She gazed at the newspaper spread
before his face and knees, saw the smoke of his
cheroot curl up above the edge, noticed the little
hole in his evening socks, and listened to the para-
graphs he read aloud as of old. But this was all a
veil he spread about himself of purpose. Behind it
—he escaped. It was the conjurer’s trick to divert
the sight to unimportant details while the essential
thing went forward unobserved. He managed
wonderfully ; she loved him for the pains he took to
spare her distress; but all the while she knew that
the body lolling in that armchair before her eyes
contained the merest fragment of his actual self. It
was little better than a corpse. It was an empty
shell. The essential soul of him was out yonder
with the Forest—farther out near that ever-roaring
heart of it. |
And, with the dark, the Forest came up boldly
and pressed against the very walls and windows,
peering in upon them, joining hands above the slates
and chimneys. The winds were always walking on
the lawn and gravel paths; steps came and went
and came again ; some one seemed always talking in
the woods, some one was in the building too. She
passed them on the stairs, or running soft and muffled,
very large and gentle, down the passages and landings
after dusk, as though loose fragments of the Day had
broken off and stayed there caught among the shadows,
trying to get out. They blundered silently all about
the house. They waited till she passed, then made
arun for it. And her husband always knew. She
saw him more than once deliberately avoid them—
gO PAN’S GARDEN
because she was there. More than once, too, she
saw him stand and listen when he thought she was
not near, then heard herself the long bounding stride
of their approach across the silent garden. Already
he had heard them in the windy distance of the night,
far, far away. ‘They sped, she well knew, along that
glade of mossy turf by which she last came out; it
cushioned their tread exactly as it had cushioned her
own.
It seemed to her the trees were always in the
house with him, and in their very bedroom. He
welcomed them, unaware that she also knew, and
trembled.
One night in their bedroom it caught her unawares.
She woke out of deep sleep and it came upon her
before she could gather her forces for control.
The day had been wildly boisterous, but now the
wind had dropped; only its rags went fluttering
through the night. The rays of the full moon fell
in a shower between the branches. Overhead still
raced the scud and wrack, shaped like hurrying
monsters ; but below the earth was quiet. Still and
dripping stood the hosts of trees. Their trunks
gleamed wet and sparkling where the moon caught
them. There wasa strong smell of mould and fallen
leaves. The air was sharp—heavy with odour.
And she knew all this the instant that she woke ;
for it seemed to her that she had been elsewhere—
following her husband—as though she had been ou!
There was no dream at all, merely this definite,
haunting certainty. It dived away, lost, buried in
the night. She sat upright in bed. She had come
back. |
The room shone pale in the moonlight reflected
through the windows, for the blinds were up, and
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 91
she saw her husband’s form beside her, motionless
in deep sleep. But what caught her unawares was
the horrid thing that by this fact of sudden, unex-
pected waking she had surprised these other things
in the room, beside the very bed, gathered close
about him while he slept. It was their dreadful
boldness—herself of no account as it were—that
terrified her into screaming before she could collect
her powers to prevent. She screamed before she
realised what she did—a long, high shriek of terror ©
that filled the room, yet made so little actual sound.
For wet and shimmering presences stood grouped all
round that bed. She saw their outline underneath
the ceiling, the green, spread bulk of them, their
vague extension over walls and furniture. They
shifted to and fro, massed yet translucent, mild yet
thick, moving and turning within themselves to a
hushed noise of multitudinous soft rustling. In
their sound was something very sweet and winning
that fell into her with a spell of horrible enchant-
ment. ‘They were so mild, each one alone, yet so
terrific in their combination. Cold seized her.
The sheets against her body turned to ice.
She screamed a second time, though the sound
hardly issued from her throat. The spell sank
deeper, reaching to the heart ; for it softened all the
currents of her blood and took life from her in a
stream — towards themselves. Resistance in that
moment seemed impossible.
Her husband then stirred in his sleep, and woke.
And, instantly, the forms drew up, erect, and
gathered themselves in some amazing way together.
They lessened in extent—then scattered through the
air like an effect of light when shadows seek to
smother it. It was tremendous, yet most exquisite.
92 PAN’S GARDEN
A sheet of pale-green shadow that yet had form
and substance filled the room. ‘There was a rush of
silent movement, as the Presences drew past her
through the air,—and they were gone.
But, clearest of all, she saw the manner of their
going ; for she recognised in their tumult of escape
by the window open at the top, the same wide
‘looping circles ’—spirals it seemed—that she had
seen upon the lawn those weeks ago when Sanderson
had talked. ‘The room once more was empty.
In the collapse that followed, she heard her
husband’s voice, as though coming from some great
distance. Her own replies she heard as well.
Both were so strange and unlike their normal speech,
the very words unnatural :
‘What is it, dear? Why do you wake me
now?’ And his voice whispered it with a sighing
sound, like wind in pine boughs.
‘A moment since something went past me
through the air of the room. Back to the night
outside it went.’ Her voice, too, held the same
note as of wind entangled among too many leaves.
‘My dear, it was the wind.’
‘But it called, David. It was calling you—by
name !’
‘The stir of the branches, dear, was what you
heard. Now, sleep again, I beg you, sleep.’
‘It had a crowd of eyes all through and over it—
before and behind Her voice grew louder.
But his own in reply sank lower, far away, and oddly
hushed.
‘The moonlight, dear, upon the sea of twigs and
boughs in the rain, was what you saw.’
‘But it frightened me. I’ve lost my God—and
_ you—I’m cold as death!’
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 93
‘My dear, it is the cold of the early morning
hours. The whole world sleeps. Now sleep again
yourself,’
He whispered close to her ear. She felt his
hand stroking her. His voice was soft and very
soothing. But only a part of him was there; only a
part of him was speaking; it was a half-emptied
body that lay beside her and uttered these strange
sentences, even forcing her own singular choice of
words. The horrible, dim enchantment of the
trees was close about them in the room—gnarled,
ancient, lonely trees of winter, whispering round the
human life they loved.
‘And let me sleep again,’ she heard him murmur
as he settled down among the clothes, ‘sleep back
into that deep, delicious peace from which you
called mej), e's
_ His dreamy, happy tone, and that look of youth
and joy she discerned upon his features even in the
filtered moonlight, touched her again as with the spell
of those shining, mild green presences. It sank
down into her. She felt sleep grope for her. On
the threshold of slumber one of those strange vagrant
voices that loss of consciousness lets loose cried
faintly in her heart—
‘There is joy tn the Forest over one sinner
that :
Then sleep took her before she had time to
realise even that she was vilely parodying one of her
most precious texts, and that the irreverence was
ghastly. ...
And though she quickly slept again, her sleep
was not as usual, dreamless. It was not woods and
trees she dreamed of, but a small and curious dream
that kept coming again and again upon her: that
J
94 PAN’S GARDEN
she stood upon a wee, bare rock in the sea, and that
the tide was rising. The water first came to her feet,
then to her knees, then to her waist. Each time
the dream returned, the tide seemed higher. Once it
rose to her neck, once even to her mouth, covering
her lips for a moment so that she could not breathe.
She did not wake between the dreams ; a period of
drab and dreamless slumber intervened. But, finally,
the water rose above her eyes and face, completely
covering her head. i ;
And then came explanation—the sort of
explanation dreams bring. She understood. *For,
beneath the water, she had seen the world of seaweed
rising from the bottom of the sea like a forest of
dense green—long, sinuous stems, immense thick ©
branches, millions of feelers spreading through the
darkened watery depths the power of their ocean
foliage. The Vegetable Kingdom was even in the
sea. It was everywhere. Earth, air, and water
helped it, way of escape there was none.
And even underneath the sea she heard that
terrible sound of roaring—was it surf or wind or
voices ?’—further out, yet coming steadily towards
her.
And so, in the loneliness of that drab English
winter, the mind of Mrs. Bittacy, preying upon
itself, and fed by constant dread, went lost in dis-
proportion. Dreariness filled the weeks with dismal,
sunless skies and a clinging moisture that knew no
wholesome tonic of keen frosts. Alone with her
thoughts, both her husband and her God withdrawn
into distance, she counted the days to Spring. She
groped her way, stumbling down the long dark
tunnel. Through the arch at the far end lay a
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 95
brilliant picture of the violet sea sparkling on the
coast of France. There lay safety and escape for
both of them, could she but hold on. Behind her
the trees blocked up the other entrance. She never
once looked back.
She drooped. Vitality passed from her, drawn
out and away as by some steady suction. Immense
and incessant was this sensation of her powers drain-
ing off. The taps were all turned on. Her
personality, as it were, streamed steadily away,
coaxed outwards by this Power that never wearied and
seemed inexhaustible. It won her as the full moon
wins the tide. She waned ; she faded ; she obeyed.
At first she watched the process, and recognised
exactly what was going on. Her physical life, and
that balance of the mind which depends on physical
well-being, were being slowly undermined. She saw
that clearly. Only the soul, dwelling like a star
apart from these and independent of them, lay safe
somewhere—with her distant God. That she knew
—tranquilly. The spiritual love that linked her
to her husband was safe from all attack. Later,
in His good time, they would merge together again
because of it. But, meanwhile, all of her that had
kinship with the earth was slowly going. This
separation was being remorselessly accomplished.
Every part of her the trees could touch was being
steadily drained from her. She was being—removed.
After a time, however, even this power of realisa-
tion went, so that she no longer ‘ watched the process’
or knew exactly what was going on. The one satis-
faction she had known—the feeling that it was sweet
to suffer for his sake—went with it. She stood
utterly alone with this terror of the trees . . . mid
the ruins of her broken and disordered mind.
96 PAN’S GARDEN
She slept badly ; woke in the morning with hot
and tired eyes ; her head ached dully ; she grew con-
fused in thought and lost the clues of daily life in
the most feeble fashion. At the same time she lost
sight, too, of that brilliant picture at the exit of the
tunnel ; it faded away into a tiny semicircle of pale
light, the violet sea and the sunshine the merest
point of white, remote as a star and equally inacces-
sible. She knew now that she could never reach it.
And through the darkness that stretched behind, the
power of the trees came close and caught her, twining
about her feet and arms, climbing to her very lips.
She woke at night, finding it difficult to breathe.
There seemed wet leaves pressed against her mouth,
and soft green tendrils clinging to her neck. Her
feet were heavy, half rooted, as it were, in deep, thick
earth. Huge creepers stretched along the whole of
that black tunnel, feeling about her person for points
where they might fasten well, as ivy or the giant
parasites of the Vegetable Kingdom settle down
on the trees themselves to sap their life and kill
them.
Slowly and surely the morbid growth possessed
her life and held her. She feared those very winds
that ran about the wintry forest. They were in
league with it. They helped it everywhere.
‘Why don’t you sleep, dear?’ It was her
husband now who played the rdle of nurse, tending
her little wants with an honest care that at least aped
the services of love. He was so utterly unconscious
of the raging battle he had caused. ‘What is it
keeps you so wide awake and restless?’ |
‘The winds,’ she whispered in the dark. For
hours she had lain watching the tossing of the trees
_ through the blindless windows. ‘They go walking
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 97
and talking everywhere to-night, keeping me awake.
And all the time they call so loudly to you.’
And his strange whispered answer appalled her for
a moment until the meaning of it faded and left her
in a dark confusion of the mind that was now be-
coming almost permanent.
‘The trees excite them in the night. The winds
are the great swift carriers. Go with them, dear—
and not against. You'll find sleep that way if
you do.’
‘The storm is rising,’ she began, hardly knowing
what she said.
‘All the more then—go with them. Don’t
resist. They’ll take you to the trees, that’s all.’
Resist! The word touched on the button of
some text that once had helped her.
‘Resist the devil and he will flee from you,’ she
heard her whispered answer, and the same second had
buried her face beneath the clothes in a flood of
hysterical weeping.
But her husband did not seem disturbed. Perhaps
he did not hear it, for'the wind ran just then against
the windows with a booming shout, and the roaring
of the Forest farther out came behind the blow,
surging into the room. Perhaps, too, he was already
asleep again. She slowly regained a sort of dull
composure. Fler face emerged from the tangle of
sheets and blankets. With a growing terror over
her—she listened. The storm was rising. It came
with a sudden and impetuous rush that made all
further sleep for her impossible.
Alone in a shaking world, it seemed, she lay and
listened. That storm interpreted for her mind the
climax. The Forest bellowed out its victory to the
winds ; the winds in turn proclaimed it to the Night.
H
98 PAN’S GARDEN
The whole world knew of her complete defeat, her
loss, her little human pain. This was the roar and
shout of victory that she listened to.
For, unmistakably, the trees were shouting in the
dark. There were sounds, too, like the flapping of
great sails, a thousand at a time, and sometimes
reports that resembled more than anything else the
distant booming of enormous drums. The trees
stood up—the whole beleaguering host of them stood
up—and with the uproar of their million branches
drummed the thundering message out across the
night. It seemed as if they all had broken loose.
Their roots swept trailing over field and hedge and
roof. They tossed their bushy heads beneath the
clouds with a wild, delighted shuffling of great
boughs. With trunks upright they raced leaping
through the sky. There was upheaval and adventure
in the awful sound they made, and their cry was like
the cry of a sea that has broken through its gates
and poured loose upon the world... .
Through it all her husband slept peacefully as
though he heard it not. It was, as she well knew,
the sleep of the semi-dead. For he was out with
all that clamouring turmoil. The part of him that
she had lost was there. The form that slept so
calmly at her side was but the shell, halfemptied. . . .
And when the winter’s morning stole upon the
scene at length, with a pale, washed sunshine that
followed the departing tempest, the first thing she
saw, as she crept to the window and looked out, was
the ruined cedar lying on the lawn. Only the gaunt
and crippled trunk of it remained. The single giant
bough that had been left to it lay dark upon the
grass, sucked endways towards the Forest by a great
- wind eddy. It lay there like a mass of drift-wood
THE MAN WHOM THE TREES LOVED 99
from a wreck, left by the ebbing of a high spring-
tide upon the sands—remnant of some friendly,
splendid vessel that once had sheltered men.
And in the distance she heard the roaring of the
Forest further out. Her husband’s voice was in it.
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THE SOUTH WIND
It is impossible to say through which sense, or
combination of senses, I knew that Someone was
approaching—was already near; but most probably
it was the deep underlying ‘ mother-sense ’ including
them all that conveyed the delicate warning. At
any rate, the scene-shifters of my moods knew it too,
for very swiftly they prepared the stage; then, ever
soft-footed and invisible, stood aside to wait.
As I went down the village street on my way
to bed after midnight, the high Alpine valley lay
silent in its frozen stillness. For days it had now
lain thus, even the mouths of its cataracts stopped
with ice ; and for days, too, the dry, tight cold had
drawn up the nerves of the humans in it to a sharp,
thin pitch of exhilaration that at last began to call
for the gentler comfort of relaxation. ‘The key had
been a little too high, the inner tautness too pro-
longed. The tension of that implacable north-east
wind, the ise noire, had drawn its twisted wires too
long through our very entrails. We all sighed for
some loosening of the bands—the comforting touch
of something damp, soft, less penetratingly acute.
And now, as I turned, midway in the little journey
from the inn to my room above La Poste, this sudden
warning that Someone was approaching repeated its
silent wireless message, and I paused to listen and
to watch.
— 105
106 PAN’S GARDEN
Yet at first I searched in vain. The village street
lay empty—a white ribbon between the black walls of
the big-roofed chalets ; there were no lights in any
of the houses ; the hotels stood gaunt and ugly with
their myriad shuttered windows; and the church,
topped by the Crown of Savoy in stone, was so en-
gulfed by the shadows of the mountains that it
seemed almost a part of them. 3
Beyond, reared the immense buttresses of the Dent
du Midi, terrible and stalwart against the sky, their
feet resting among the crowding pines, their streaked
precipices tilting up at violent angles towards the
stars. The bands of snow, belting their enormous
flanks, stretched for miles, faintly gleaming, like
Saturn’s rings. To the right I could just make out
the pinnacles of the Dents Blanches, cruelly pointed ;
and, still farther, the Dent de Bonnaveau, as of iron
and crystal, running up its gaunt and dreadful pyramid
into relentless depths of night. Everywhere in the
hard, black-sparkling air was the rigid spell of winter.
It seemed as if this valley could never melt again,
never know currents of warm wind, never taste
the sun, nor yield its million flowers.
And now, dipping down behind me out of the
reaches of the darkness, the New Comer moved close,
heralded by this subtle yet compelling admonition
that had arrested me in my very tracks. For, just
as I turned in at the door, kicking the crunched snow
from my boots against the granite step, I Anew that,
from the heart of all this tightly frozen winter’s night,
the ‘Someone’ whose message had travelled so
delicately in advance was now, quite suddenly, at my
very heels, And while my eyes lifted to sift their
way between the darkness and the snow I became
_ aware that It was already coming down the village
THE SOUTH WIND 107
street. It ran on feathered feet, pressing close against
the enclosing walls, yet at the same time spreading
from side to side, brushing the window-panes, rustling
against the doors, and even including the shingled
roofs in itsenveloping advent. It came, too—against
the wind... .
It flew up close and passed me, very faintly singing,
running down between the chalets and the church,
very swift, very soft, neither man nor animal, neither
woman, girl, nor child, turning the corner of the
snowy road beyond the Cureé’s house with a rushing,
cantering motion, that made me think of a Body of
water—something of fluid and generous shape, too
mighty to be confined in common forms. And, as
it passed, it touched me—touched me through all
skin and flesh upon the naked nerves, loosening,
relieving, setting free the congealed sources of life
which the dise so long had mercilessly bound, so
that magic currents, flowing and released, washed
down all the secret byways of the spirit and flooded
again with full tide into a thousand dried-up cisterns
of the heart.
The thrill I experienced is quite incommunicable
in words. I ran upstairs and opened all my windows
wide, knowing that soon the Messenger would return
with a million others—only to find that already it
had been there before me. Its taste was in the air, -
fragant and alive; in my very mouth—and all the
currents of the inner life ran sweet again, and full.
Nothing in the whole village was quite the same as it
had been before. The deeply slumbering peasants,
even behind their shuttered windows and_ barred
doors; the Curé, the servants at the inn, the con-
sumptive man opposite, che children in the house
behind the church, the horde of tourists in the cara-
108 PAN’S GARDEN
vanserai—all knew—more or less, according to the
delicacy of their receiving apparatus—that Something
charged with fresh and living force had swept on
viewless feet down the village street, passed noiselessly
between the cracks of doors and windows, touched
nerves and eyelids, and—set them free. In response
to the great Order of Release that the messenger had
left everywhere behind her, even the dreams of the
sleepers had shifted into softer and more flowing
keysiy,. wi.
And the Valley—the Valley also knew! For, as
I watched from my window, something loosened about
the trees and stones and boulders; about the massed
snows on the great slopes; about the roots of the
hanging icicles that fringed and sheeted the dark
cliffs ; and down in the deepest beds of the killed and
silent streams. Far overhead, across those desolate
bleak shoulders of the mountains, ran some sudden
softness like the rush of awakening life . . . and
was gone. A touch, lithe yet dewy, as of silk and
water mixed, dropped softly over all . . . and, silently,
without resistance, the ise noire, utterly routed,
went back to the icy caverns of the north and east,
where it sleeps, hated of men, and dreams its keen
black dreams of death and desolation. . . . |
. . . And some five hours later, when I woke and
looked towards the sunrise, I saw those strips of
pearly grey, just tinged with red, the Messenger
had been to summon .. . charged with the warm
moisture that brings relief. On the wings of a rising
South Wind they came down hurriedly to cap the
mountains and to unbind the captive forces of life ;
then moved with flying streamers up our own valley,
sponging from the thirsty woods their richest
perfume. ,
THE SOUTH WIND 10g
And farther down, in soft, wet fields, stood the
leafless poplars, with little pools of water gemming
the grass between and pouring their musical over-
flow through runnels of dark and sodden leaves
to join the rapidly increasing torrents descending
from the mountains. For across the entire valley
ran magically that sweet and welcome message of
relief which Job knew when he put the whole delicious
tenderness and passion of it into less than a dozen
words : ‘ He comforteth the earth with the south wind,’
CHAMPERY,
Se Wa ala OS ( wh ap
\ . cae Pek
ane
THE SEA FIT
Tue sea that night sang rather than chanted; all
along the far-running shore a rising tide dropped
thick foam, and the waves, white-crested, came
steadily in with the swing of a deliberate purpose.
Overhead, in a _ cloudless sky, that ancient
Enchantress, the full moon, watched their dance
across the sheeted sands, guiding them carefully
while she drew them up. For through that
moonlight, through that roar of surf, there pene-
trated a singular note of earnestness and mean-
ing—almost as though these common processes of
Nature were instinct with the flush of an unusual
activity that sought audaciously to cross the
borderland into some subtle degree of conscious life.
A gauze of light vapour clung upon the surface of
the sea, far out—a transparent carpet through which
the rollers drove shorewards in a moving pattern.
In the low-roofed bungalow among the sand-
dunes the three men sat. Foregathered for Easter,
they spent the day fishing and sailing, and at night
told yarns of the days when life was younger.
It was fortunate that there were three — and
later four—because in the mouths of several
witnesses an extraordinary thing shall be established
—when they agree. And although whisky stood
upon the rough table made of planks nailed to
barrels, it is childish to pretend that a few drinks
115
116 PAN’S GARDEN
invalidate evidence, for alcohol, up to a certain
point, intensifies the consciousness, focusses the
intellectual powers, sharpens observation; and two
healthy men, certainly three, must have imbibed an
absurd amount before they all see, or omit to see,
the same things.
The other bungalows still awaited their summer
occupants. Only the lonely tufted sand-dunes
watched the sea, shaking their hair of coarse white
grass to the winds. The men had the whole spit to
themselves—with the wind, the spray, the flying
gusts of sand, and that great Easter full moon.
There was Major Reese of the Gunners and his half-
brother, Dr. Malcolm Reese, and Captain Erricson,
their host, all men whom the kaleidoscope of life had
jostled together a decade ago in many adventures,
then flung for years apart about the globe. There
was also Erricson’s body-servant, ‘Sinbad,’ sailor of
big seas, and a man who had shared on many a ship
all the lust of strange adventure that distinguished
his great blonde-haired owner—an ideal servant and
dog-faithful, divining his master’s moods almost
before they were born. On the present occasion,
besides crew of the fishing-smack, he was cook,
valet, and steward of the bungalow smoking-room
as well.
‘Big Erricson,’ Norwegian by extraction, student
by adoption, wanderer by blood, a Viking reincarnated
if ever there was one, belonged to that type of
primitive man in whom burns an inborn love and
passion for the sea that amounts to positive worship—
devouring tide, a lust and fever in the soul. ‘ All
genuine votaries of the old sea-gods have it,’ he used
to say, by way of explaining his carelessness of
worldly ambitions. ‘ We’re never at our best away
THE SEA FIT 117
from salt water—never quite right. I’ve got it
bang in the heart myself. Id do a bit before the
mast sooner than make a million on shore. Simply
can’t help it, you see, and never could! It’s our
gods calling us to worship.’ And he had never tried
to ‘help it,’ which explains why he owned nothing
in the world on land except this tumble-down, one-
storey bungalow—more like a ship’s cabin than any-
thing else, to which he sometimes asked his bravest
and most faithful friends—and a store of curious
reading gathered in long, becalmed days at the ends
of the world. Heart and mind, that is, carried a
queer cargo. ‘I’m sorry if you poor devils are
uncomfortable in her. You must ask Sinbad for
anything you want and don’t see, remember.’ As
though Sinbad could have supplied comforts that
were miles away, or converted a draughty wreck into
a snug, taut, brand-new vessel.
Neither of the Reeses had cause for grumbling
on the score of comfort, however, for they knew
the keen joys of roughing it, and both weather
and sport besides had been glorious. It was on
another score this particular evening that they found
cause for uneasiness, if not for actual grumbling.
Erricson had one of his queer sea fits on—the Doctor
was responsible for the term—and was in the thick of
it, plunging like a straining boat at anchor, talking in
a way that made them both feel vaguely uncomfort-
able and distressed. Neither of them knew exactly
perhaps why he should have felt this growing ma/aise,
and each was secretly vexed with the other for
confirming his own unholy instinct that something
uncommon was astir. ‘The loneliness of the sand-
spit and that melancholy singing of the sea before
their very door may have had something to do with it,
118 PAN’S GARDEN
seeing that both were landsmen ; for Imagination is
ever Lord of the Lonely Places, and adventurous
men remain children to the last. But, whatever it
was that affected both men in different fashion,
Malcolm Reese, the doctor, had not thought it
necessary to mention to his brother that Sinbad had
tugged his sleeve on entering and whispered in his
ear significantly: ‘Full moon, sir, please, and he’s
better without too much! These high spring tides
get him all caught off his feet sometimes—clean sea-
crazy’; and the man had contrived to let the doctor
see the hilt of a small pistol he carried in his hip-
pocket,
For Erricson had got upon his old subject :
that the gods were not dead, but merely withdrawn,
and that even a single true worshipper was enough
to draw them down again into touch with the world,
into the sphere of humanity, even into active and
visible manifestation. He spoke of queer things
he had seen in queerer places. He was serious,
vehement, voluble; and the others had let it pour
out unchecked, hoping thereby for its speedier
exhaustion. They puffed their pipes in comparative
silence, nodding from time to time, shrugging their
shoulders, the soldier mystified and bewildered, the
doctor alert and keenly watchful.
‘And I like the old idea,’ he had been saying,
speaking of these departed pagan deities, ‘that
sacrifice and ritual feed their great beings, and that
death is only the final sacrifice by which the
worshipper becomes absorbed into them. The devout
worshipper ’—and there was a singular drive and power
behind the words—‘ should go to his death singing,
as to a wedding—the wedding of his soul with the
_ particular deity he has loved and served all his life.’
THE SEA FIT 119
He swept his tow-coloured beard with one hand,
turning his shaggy head towards the window, where
the moonlight lay upon the procession of shaking
waves. ‘It’s playing the whole game, I always
think, man-fashion. . . . I remember once, some
years ago, down there off the coast by Yucatan
And then, before they could interfere, he told an
extraordinary tale of something he had seen years
ago, but told it with such a horrid earnestness of
conviction—for it was dreadful, though fine, this
adventure—that his listeners shifted in their wicker
chairs, struck matches unnecessarily, pulled at their
long glasses, and exchanged glances that attempted a
smile yet did not quite achieve it. For the tale had
to do with sacrifice of human life and a rather
haunting pagan ceremonial of the sea, and at its
close the room had changed in some indefinable
manner—was not exactly as it had been before perhaps
—as though the savage earnestness of the language had
introduced some new element that made it less cosy,
less cheerful, even less warm. A secret lust in the
man’s heart, born of the sea, and of his intense
admiration of the pagan gods called a light into his
eye not altogether pleasant.
“They were great Powers, at any rate, those
ancient fellows,’ Erricson went on, refilling his huge
pipe bowl ; ‘too great to disappear altogether, though
to-day they may walk the earth in another manner.
I swear they're still going it—especially the ” (he
hesitated for a mere second) ‘the old water Powers—
the Sea Gods. Terrific beggars, every one of ’em.’
‘Still move the tides and raise the winds, eh ?’
from the Doctor. —
Erricson spoke again after a moment’s silence,
with impressive dignity. ‘And I like, too, the way
120 PAN’S GARDEN
they manage to keep their names before us,’ he went
on, with a curious eagerness that did not escape the
Doctor’s observation, while it clearly puzzled the
soldier. ‘There’s old Hu, the Druid god of justice,
still alive in ‘‘ Hue and Cry”; there’s Typhon ham-
mering his way against us in the typhoon ; there's
the mighty Hurakar, serpent god of the winds, you
know, shouting to us in hurricane and ouragan ; and
there’s
‘Venus still at it as hard as ever,’ interrupted the
Major, facetiously, though his brother did not laugh
because of their host’s almost sacred earnestness of
manner and uncanny grimness of face. Exactly how
he managed to introduce that element of gravity—of
conviction—into such talk neither of his listeners
quite understood, for in discussing the affair later they
were unable to pitch upon any definite detail that
betrayed it. Yet there it was, alive and haunting,
even distressingly so. All day he had been silent
and morose, but since dusk, with the turn of the tide,
in fact, these queer sentences, half mystical, half un-
intelligible, had begun to pour from him, till now that
cabin-like room among the sand-dunes fairly vibrated
with the man’s emotion. And at last Major Reese,
with blundering good intention, tried to shift the
key from this portentous subject of sacrifice to
something that might eventually lead towards comedy
and laughter, and so relieve this growing pressure of
melancholy and incredible things. The Viking fellow
had just spoken of the possibility of the old gods
manifesting themselves visibly, audibly, physically,
and so the Major caught him up and made light
mention of spiritualism and the so-called ‘ material-
isation séances,’ where physical bodies were alleged
to be built up out of the emanations of the medium
THE SEA FIT 121
and the sitters. This crude aspect of the Supernatural
was the only possible link the soldier’s mind could
manage. He caught his brother’s eye too late, it
seems, for Malcolm Reese realised by this time that
something untoward was afoot, and no longer needed
the memory of Sinbad’s warning to keep him sharply
on the look-out. It was not the first time he had
seen Erricson ‘caught’ by the sea; but he had never
known him quite so bad, nor seen his face so flushed
and white alternately, nor his eyes so oddly shining.
So that Major Reese’s well-intentioned allusion only
brought wind to fire.
The man of the sea, once Viking, roared with a
rush of boisterous laughter at the comic suggestion,
then dropped his voice to a sudden hard whisper,
awfully earnest, awfully intense. Any one must have
started at the abrupt change and the life-and-death
manner of the big man. His listeners undeniably
both did.
‘Bunkum !’ he shouted, ‘ bunkum, and be damned
to it all! There’s only one real materialisation of
these immense Outer Beings possible, and that’s when
the great embodied emotions, which are their sphere
of action’—his words became wildly incoherent,
painfully struggling to get out—‘ derived, you see,
from their honest worshippers the world over—con-
stituting their Bodies, in fact—-come down into
matter and get condensed, crystallised into form—
to claim that final sacrifice I spoke about just now,
and to which any man might feel himself proud and
honoured to be summoned. . . . No dying in bed or
fading out from old age, but to plunge full-blooded
and alive into the great Body of the god who has
deigned to descend and fetch you
The actual speech may have been even more
122 PAN’S GARDEN
rambling and incoherent than that. It came out
in a torrent at white heat. Dr. Reese kicked his
brother beneath the table, just in time. The soldier
looked thoroughly uncomfortable and amazed, utterly
at a loss to know how he had produced the storm.
It rather frightened him.
‘I know it because I’ve seen it,’ went on the sea
man, his mind and speech slightly more under con-
trol. ‘Seen the ceremonies that brought these
whopping old Nature gods down into form—seen
‘em carry off a worshipper into themselves—seen that
worshipper, too, go off singing and happy to his
death, proud and honoured to be chosen.’
‘Have you really—by George!’ the Major ex-
claimed. ‘You tell us a queer thing, Erricson’ ;
and it was then for the fifth time that Sinbad
cautiously opened the door, peeped in and silently
withdrew after giving a swiftly comprehensive glance
round the room.
The night outside was windless and serene, only
the growing thunder of the tide near the full woke
muffled echoes among the sand-dunes.
‘ Rites and ceremonies,’ continued the other, his
voice booming with a singular enthusiasm, but
ignoring the interruption, ‘are simply means of
losing one’s self by temporary ecstasy in the God
of one’s choice—the God one has worshipped all
one’s life—of being partially absorbed into his being.
And sacrifice completes the process
‘At death, you said?’ asked Malcolm Reese,
watching him keenly.
‘Or voluntary,’ was the reply that came flash-like.
‘The devotee becomes wedded to his Deity—goes
bang into him, you see, by fire or water or air—as
_by a drop from a height—according to the nature of
THE SEA FIT 123
the particular God; at-one-ment, of course. A
man’s death that! Fine, you know!’
The man’s inner soul was on fire now. He was
talking at a fearful pace, his eyes alight, his voice
turned somehow into a kind of sing-song that chimed
well, singularly well, with the booming of waves
outside, and from time to time he turned to the
window to stare at the sea and the moon-blanched
sands. And then a look of triumph would come into
his face—that giant face framed by slow-moving
wreaths of pipe smoke.
Sinbad entered for the sixth time without any
obvious purpose, busied himself unnecessarily with
the glasses and, went out again, lingeringly. In the
room he kept his eye hard upon his master. This
time he contrived to push a chair and a heap of
netting between him and the window. No one but
Dr. Reese observed the manceuvre. And he took
the hint.
‘The port-holes fit badly, Erricson,’ he laughed,
but with a touch of authority. ‘There’s a five-knot
breeze coming through the cracks worse than an old
wreck!” And he moved up to secure the fastening
better.
‘The room is confoundedly cold,’ Major Reese
put in; ‘has been for the last half-hour, too.’ The
soldier looked what he felt—-cold—distressed —
creepy. ‘But there’s no wind really, you know,’ he
added.
Captain Erricson turned his great bearded visage
from one to the other before he answered ; there
was a gleam of sudden suspicion in his blue eyes. |
‘The beggar’s got that back door open again. If
he’s sent for any one, as he did once before, I swear
P’ll drown him in fresh water for his impudence—
124 PAN’S GARDEN
or perhaps—can it be already that he expects g}
He left the sentence incomplete and rang the bell,
laughing with a boisterousness that was clearly feigned.
‘Sinbad, what’s this cold in the place? You've got
the back door open. Not expecting any one, are
ou
‘Everything’s shut tight, Captain. There’s a bit
of a breeze coming up from the east. And the
tide’s drawing in at a raging pace
‘We can all hear shat. But are you expecting
any one? I asked,’ repeated his master, suspiciously,
yet still laughing. One might have said he was
trying to give the idea that the man had some land
flirtation on hand. ‘They looked one another square
in the eye for a moment, these two. It was the
straight stare of equals who understood each other well.
‘Some one—might be—on the way, as it were,
Captain. Couldn’t say for certain.’
The voice almost trembled. By a sharp twist of
the eye, Sinbad managed to shoot a lightning and
significant look at the Doctor.
‘But this cold—this freezing, damp cold in the
place? Are you sure no one’s come—by the back
ways?’ insisted the master. He whispered it.
‘Across the dunes, for instance?’ His voice con-
veyed awe and delight, both kept hard under.
‘It’s all over the house, Captain, already,’ replied
the man, and moved across to put more sea-logs on
the blazing fire. Even the soldier noticed then that
their language was tight with allusion of another
kind. ‘To relieve the growing tension and uneasiness
in his own mind he took up the word ‘house’ and
made fun of it. |
‘ As though it were a mansion,’ he observed, with
a forced chuckle, ‘instead of a mere sea-shell!’
THE SEA FIT 125
Then, looking about him, he added: ‘But, all the
same, you know, there is a kind of fog getting
into the room—from the sea, I suppose ; coming up
with the tide, or something, eh?’ The air had
certainly in the last twenty minutes turned thickish ;
it was not all tobacco smoke, and there was a mois-
ture that began to precipitate on the objects in tiny,
fine globules. The cold, too, fairly bit.
‘Tll take a look round,’ said Sinbad, significantly,
and went out. Only the Doctor perhaps noticed
that the man shook, and was white down to the gills.
He said nothing, but moved his chair nearer to the
window and to his host. It was really a little bit
beyond comprehension how the wild words of this
old sea-dog in the full sway of his ‘sea fit’ had
altered the very air of the room as well as the
personal equations of its occupants, for an extra-
ordinary atmosphere of enthusiasm that was almost
splendour pulsed about him, yet vilely close to some-
thing that suggested terror! ‘Through the armour
of every-day common sense that normally clothed
the minds of these other two, had crept the faint
wedges of a mood that made them vaguely wonder
whether the incredible could perhaps sometimes—
by way of bewildering exceptions—actually come
to pass. The moods of their deepest life, that
is to say, were already affected. An inner, and
thoroughly unwelcome, change was in progress.
And such psychic disturbances once started are hard
to arrest. In this case it was well on the way before
either the Army or Medicine had been willing to
recognise the fact. There was something coming—
coming from the sand-dunes or the sea. And it was
invited, welcomed at any rate, by Erricson. His
deep, volcanic enthusiasm and belief provided the
126 PAN’S GARDEN
channel. In lesser degree they, too, were caught
in it. Moreover, it was terrific, irresistible.
And it was at this point—as the comparing of
notes afterwards established—that Father Norden
came in, Norden, the big man’s nephew, having
bicycled over from some point beyond Corfe Castle
and raced along the hard Studland sand in the moon-
light, and then hullood till a boat had ferried him
across the narrow channel of Poole Harbour. Sinbad
simply brought him in without any preliminary
question or announcement. He could not resist the
splendid night and the spring air, explained Norden.
He felt sure his uncle could ‘ find a hammock’ for him
somewhere aft, as he put it. He did not add that
Sinbad had telegraphed for him just before sundown
from the coast-guard hut. Dr. Reese already knew
him, but he was introduced to the Major. Norden
was a member of the Society of Jesus, an ardent,
not clever, and unselfish soul.
Erricson greeted him with obviously mixed feelings,
and with an extraordinary sentence: ‘It doesn’t
really matter,’ he exclaimed, after a few common-
places of talk, ‘for all religions are the same if you
go deep enough. All teach sacrifice, and, without
exception, all seek final union by absorption into their
Deity.’ And then, under his breath, turning sideways
to peer out of the window, he added a swift rush of
half-smothered words that only Dr. Reese caught :
‘The Army, the Church, the Medical Profession, and
Labour—if they would only all come! What a
fine result, what a grand offering! Alone—I seem
so unworthy—insignificant . . .!’
But meanwhile young Norden was speaking before
any one could stop him, although the Major did make
one or two blundering attempts. For once the Jesuit’s
THE SEA FIT 127
tact was at fault. He evidently hoped to introduce
a new mood—to shift the current already established
by the single force of his own personality. And he
was not quite man enough to carry it off.
It was an error of judgment on his part. For
the forces he found established in the room were too
heavy to lift and alter, their impetus being already
acquired. He did his best, anyhow. He began
moving with the current—it was not the first sea fit
he had combated in this extraordinary personality—
then found, too late, that he was carried along with
it himself like the rest of them. 4)
‘Odd—but couldn’t find the bungalow at first,’
he laughed, somewhat hardly. ‘It’s got a bit of sea-
fog all to itself that hides it. I thought perhaps my
pagan uncle
The Doctor interrupted him hastily, with great
energy. ‘The fog does lie caught in these sand
hollows—like steam in a cup, you know,’ he put in.
But the other, intent on his own procedure, missed
the cue.
f thought it was smoke at first, and that you
were up to some heathen ceremony or other,’ laugh-
ing in Erricson’s face ; ‘sacrificing to the full moon
or the sea, or the spirits of the desolate places that
haunt sand-dunes, eh?’
No one spoke for a second, but Erricson’s face
turned quite radiant.
‘My uncle’s such a pagan, you know,’ continued
the priest, ‘ that as I flew along those deserted sands
from Studland I almost expected to hear old Triton
blow his wreathéd horn . . . or see fair Thetis’s
tinsel-slippered feet. . . .”
Erricson, suppressing violent gestures, highly
excited, face happy as a boy’s, was combing his great
128 PAN’S GARDEN
yellow beard with both hands, and the other two men
had begun to speak at once, intent on stopping the flow
of unwise allusion. Norden, swallowing a mouthful
of cold soda-water, had put the glass down, splutter-
ing over its bubbles, when the sound was first heard
at the window. And in the back room the man-
servant ran, calling something aloud that sounded
like ‘It’s coming, God save us, it’s coming in. . .!’
Though the Major swears some name was mentioned
that he afterwards forgot—Glaucus— Proteus—
Pontus—or some such word. The sound itself,
however, was plain enough—a kind of imperious
tapping on the window-panes as of a multitude of
objects. Blown sand it might have been or heavy
spray or, as Norden suggested later, a great water-
soaked branch of giant seaweed. Every one started.
up, but Erricson was first upon his feet, and had the
window wide open in a twinkling. His voice roared
forth over those moonlit sand-dunes and out towards
the line of heavy surf ten yards below.
‘ All along the shore of the A®gean,’ he bellowed,
with a kind of hoarse triumph that shook the heart,
‘that ancient cry once rang. But it was a lie, a
thumping and audacious lie. And He is not the
only one. Another still lives—and, by Poseidon,
He comes! He knows His own and His own know
Him—and His own shall go to meet Him. . .!’
That reference to the AXgean ‘cry’! It was so
wonderful. Every one, of course, except the soldier,
seized the allusion. It was a comprehensive, yet
subtle, way of suggesting the idea. And meanwhile
all spoke at once, shouted rather, for the Invasion
was somehow—monstrous.
‘Damn it-—that’s a bit too much. Something’s
caught my throat!’ The Major, like a man drown-
THE SEA FIT 129
ing, fought with the furniture in his amazement and
dismay. Fighting was his first instinct, of course.
‘Hurts so infernally—takes the breath,’ he cried, by
way of explaining the extraordinarily violent impetus
that moved him, yet half ashamed of himself for see-
ing nothing he could strike. But Malcolm Reese
struggled to get between his host and the open
window, saying in tense voice something like ‘Don’t
let him get out! Don’t let him get out!’ While
the shouts of warning from Sinbad in the little
cramped back offices added to the general confusion.
Only Father Norden stood quiet—watching with a
kind of admiring wonder the expression of magnifi-
cence that had flamed into the visage of Erricson.
‘Hark, you fools! Hark!’ boomed the Viking
figure, standing erect and splendid.
And through that open window, along the far-
drawn line of shore from Canford Cliffs to the
chalk bluffs of Studland Bay, there certainly ran a
sound that was no common roar of surf. It was
articulate—a message from the sea—an announce-
ment—a thunderous warning of approach. No
mere surf breaking on sand could have compassed
so deep and multitudinous a voice of dreadful
roaring—far out over the entering tide, yet at the
same time close in along the entire sweep of shore,
shaking all the ocean, both depth and surface, with
its deep vibrations. Into the bungalow chamber
came—the Sza !
Out of the night, from the moonlit spaces where
it had been steadily accumulating, into that little
cabined room so full of humanity and tobacco smoke,
came invisibly—the Power of the Sea. Invisible,
yes, but mighty, pressed forward by the huge draw
of the moon, soft-coated with brine and moisture—
K
130 PAN’S GARDEN
the great Sea. And with it, into the minds of
those three other men, leaped instantaneously, not to
be denied, overwhelming suggestions of water-power,
the tear and strain of thousand-mile currents, the
irresistible pull and rush of tides, the suction of giant
whirlpools—more, the massed and awful impetus of
whole driven oceans. The air turned salt and briny,
and a welter of seaweed clamped their very skins.
‘Glaucus! I come to Thee, great God of the deep
Waterways. . . . Father and Master!’ Erricson
cried aloud ina voice that most marvellously conveyed
supreme joy.
The little bungalow trembled as from a blow at
the foundations, and the same second the big man
was through the window and running down the moon-
lit sands towards the foam.
‘God in Heaven! Did youall see shat?’ shouted
Major Reese, for the manner in which the great body
slipped through the tiny window-frame was incredible.
And then, first tottering with a sudden weakness, he
recovered himself and rushed round by the door,
followed by his brother. Sinbad, invisible, but not
inaudible, was calling aloud from the passage at the
back. Father Norden, slimmer than the others—
well controlled, too—was through the little window
before either of them reached the fringe of beach
beyond the sand-dunes. They joined forces halfway
down to the water’s edge. The figure of Erricson,
towering in the moonlight, flew before them, coasting
rapidly along the wave-line.
No one of them said a word ; they tore along side
by side, Norden a trifle in advance. In front of them,
head turned seawards, bounded Erricson in great fly-
ing leaps, singing as he ran, impossible to overtake.
Then, what they witnessed all three witnessed ;
THE SEA FIT 131
the weird grandeur of it in the moonshine was too
splendid to allow the smaller emotions of personal
alarm, it seems. At any rate, the divergence of
opinion afterwards was unaccountably insignificant.
For, on a sudden, that heavy roaring sound far
out at sea came close in with a swift plunge of speed,
followed simultaneously—accompanied, rather—by a
dark line that was no mere wave moving: enor-
mously, up and across, between the sea and sky it
swept close in to shore. The moonlight caught it
for a second as it passed, in a cliff of her bright silver.
And Erricson slowed down, bowed his great head
and shoulders, spread his arms out and .. .
And what? For no one of those amazed witnesses
could swear exactly what then came to pass. Upon
this impossibility of telling it in language they all
three agreed. Only those eyeless dunes of sand
that watched, only the white and silent moon over-
head, only that long, curved beach of empty and
deserted shore retain the complete record, to be
revealed some day perhaps when a later Science
shall have learned to develop the photographs that
Nature takes incessantly upon her secret plates.
For Erricson’s rough suit of tweed went out in
ribbons across the air; his figure somehow turned
dark like strips of tide-sucked seaweed ; something
enveloped and overcame him, half shrouding him from
view. He stood for one instant upright, his hair
wild in the moonshine, towering, with arms again
outstretched ; then bent forward, turned, drew out
most curiously sideways, uttering the singing sound
of tumbling waters. The next instant, curving over
like a falling wave, he swept along the glistening
surface of the sands—and was gone. In fluid form,
wave-like, his being slipped away into the Being of
132 PAN’S GARDEN
the Sea. A violent tumult convulsed the surface
of the tide near in, but at once, and with amazing
speed, passed careering away into the deeper water—
far out. To his singular death, as to a wedding,
Erricson had gone, singing, and well content.
‘May God, who holds the sea and all its powers
in the hollow of His mighty hand, take them doth
into Himself!’ Norden was on his knees, praying
fervently.
The body was never recovered ..,. and the
most curious thing of all was that the interior of
the cabin, where they found Sinbad shaking with
terror when they at length returned, was splashed
and sprayed, almost soaked, with salt water. Up
into the bigger dunes beside the bungalow, and far
beyond the reach of normal tides, lay, too, a great
streak and furrow as of a large invading wave, caking
the dry sand. A hundred tufts of the coarse grass
tussocks had been torn away.
The high tide that night, drawn by the Easter
full moon, of course, was known to have been
exceptional, for it fairly flooded Poole Harbour,
flushing all the coves and bays towards the mouth of
the Frome. And the natives up at Arne Bay and
Wych always declare that the noise of the sea was
heard far inland even up to the nine Barrows of the
Purbeck Hills—triumphantly singing.
Haven Hore.
MEME CAR TIC
cs]
A Ot
TH E AT Tt A =i hk u A) Ai |
SENG AE Eee!
THE ATTIC
Tue forest-girdled village upon the Jura slopes slept
soundly, although it was not yet many minutes after
ten o'clock. The clang of the couvre-feu had indeed
just ceased, its notes swept far into the woods by a
wind that shook the mountains. This wind now
rushed down the deserted street. It howled about
the old rambling building called La Citadelle, whose
roof towered gaunt and humped above the smaller
houses—Chateau left unfinished long ago by Lord
Wemyss, the exiled Jacobite. The families who
occupied the various apartments listened to the storm
and felt the building tremble. ‘It’s the mountain
wind. It will bring the snow, the mother said,
without looking up from her knitting. ‘And how
sad it sounds.’
But it was not the wind that brought sadness as
we sat round the open fire of peat. It was the wind
of memories. The lamplight slanted along the
narrow room towards the table where breakfast things
lay ready for the morning. The double windows
were fastened. At the far end stood a door ajar,
and on the other side of it the two elder children lay
asleep in the big bed. But beside the window was a
smaller unused bed, that had been empty now a year.
And to-night was the anniversary.
Andso the wind brought sadness and long thoughts.
137
138 PAN’S GARDEN
The little chap that used to lie there was already twelve
months gone, far, far beyond the Hole where the
Winds came from, as he called it; yet it seemed only
yesterday that I went to tell him a tuck-up story, to
stroke Riquette, the old motherly cat that cuddled
against his back and laid a paw beside his pillow like
a human being, and to hear his funny little earnest
whisper say, ‘Oncle, tu sais, jai prié pour Petavel.’
For La Citadelle had its unhappy ghost—of Petavel,
the usurer, who had hanged himself in the attic a
century gone by, and was known to walk its dreary
corridors in search of peace—and this wise Irish
mother, calming the boy’s fears with wisdom, had
told him, ‘If you pray for Petavel, you'll save his
soul and make him happy, and he’ll only love you.’
And, thereafter, this little imaginative boy had done
so every night. With a passionate seriousness he did
it. He had wonderful, delicate ways like that. In
all our hearts he made his fairy nests of wonder. In
my own, I know, he lay closer than any joy imagin-
able, with his big blue eyes, his queer soft questionings,
and his splendid child’s unselfishness—a sun-kissed
flower of innocence that, had he lived, might have
sweetened half a world.
‘Let’s put more peat on,’ the mother said, as a
handful of rain like stones came flinging against the
windows ; ‘that must be hail.’ And she went on
tiptoe to the inner room. ‘ They’re sleeping like
two puddings,’ she whispered, coming presently back.
But it struck me she had taken longer than to notice
merely that; and her face wore an odd expression
that made me uncomfortable. I thought she was
somehow just about to laugh or cry. By the table
a second she hesitated. I caught the flash of indeci-
sion as it passed. ‘ Pan,’ she said suddenly—it was a
THE ATTIC 139
nickname, stolen from my tuck-up stories, he had
given me—‘I wonder how Riquette got in.’ She
looked hard at me. ‘It wasn’t you, was it?’ For
we never let her come at night since he had gone. It
was too poignant. ‘The beastie always went cuddling
and nestling into that empty bed. But this time it
was not my doing, and I offered plausible explana-
tions. ‘But—she’s on the bed. Pan, would you be
so kind She left the sentence unfinished, but I
easily understood, for a lump had somehow risen in
my own throat too, and I remembered now that she
had come out from the inner room so quickly—with
a kind of hurried rush almost. I put ‘mere Riquette ’
out into the corridor. A lamp stood on the chair
outside the door of another occupant further down,
and I urged her gently towards it. She turned and
looked at me—straight up into my face ; but, instead
of going down as I suggested, she went slowly in the
opposite direction. She stepped softly towards ‘a
door in the wall that led up broken stairs into the
attics. There she sat down and waited. And so I
left her, and came back hastily to the peat fire and
companionship. The wind rushed in behind me and
slammed the door.
And we talked then somewhat busily of cheerful
things ; of the children’s future, the excellence of the
cheap Swiss schools, of Christmas presents, ski-ing,
snow, tobogganing. I led the talk away from
mournfulness ; and when these subjects were exhausted
I told stories of my own adventures in distant parts
of the world. But ‘mother’ listened the whole time
—nottome. Her thoughts were all elsewhere. And
her air of intently, secretly listening, bordered, I felt,
upon the uncanny. For she often stopped her
knitting and sat with her eyes fixed upon the air
140 PAN’S GARDEN
before her ; she stared blankly at the wall, her head
slightly on one side, her figure tense, attention
strained—elsewhere. Or, when my talk positively
demanded it, her nod was oddly mechanical and her
eyes looked through and past me. The wind con-
tinued very loud and roaring ; but the fire glowed,
the room was warm and cosy. Yet she shivered, and
when I drew attention to it, her reply, ‘I do feel
cold, but I didn’t know I shivered,’ was given as
though she spoke across the air to some one else.
But what impressed me even more uncomfortably
were her repeated questions about Riquette. When
a pause in my tales permitted, she would look up
with ‘I wonder where Riquette went ?’ or, thinking
of the inclement night, ‘I hope mére Riquette’s not
out of doors. Perhaps Madame Favre has taken her
in?’ I offered to go and see. Indeed I was already
half-way across the room when there came the heavy
bang at the door that rooted me to the ground where
I stood. It was not wind. It was something alive
that made it rattle. There was a second blow. A
thud on the corridor boards followed, and then a
high, odd voice that at first was as human as the cry
of a child.
It is undeniable that we both started, and for
myself I can answer truthfully that a chill ran down
my spine; but what frightened me more than the
sudden noise and the eerie cry was the way ‘ mother’
supplied the immediate explanation. For behind the
words ‘It’s only Riquette ; she sometimes springs at
the door like that ; perhaps we’d better let her in,’
was a certain touch of uncanny quiet that made me
feel she had known the cat would come, and knew
also why she came. One cannot explain such impres-
sions further. They leave their vital touch, then go
THE ATTIC 141
their way. Into the little room, however, in that
moment there came between us this uncomfortable
sense that the night held other purposes than our
own—and that my companion was aware of them.
There was something going on far, far removed from
the routine of life as we were accustomed to it.
Moreover, our usual routine was the eddy, while this
was the main stream. It felt big, I mean.
And so it was that the entrance of the familiar,
friendly creature brought this thing both itself and
‘mother’ knew, but whereof I as yet was ignorant.
I held the door wide. The draught rushed through
behind her, and sent a shower of sparks about the
fireplace. The lamp flickered and gave a little gulp.
And Riquette marched slowly past, with all the
impressive dignity of her kind, towards the other
door that stood ajar. Turning the corner like a
shadow, she disappeared into the room where the
two children slept. We heard the soft thud with
which she leaped upon the bed. Then, in a lull of
the wind, she came back again and sat on the oil-
cloth, staring into ‘mother’s’ face. She mewed and
put a paw out, drawing the black dress softly with
half-opened claws. And it was all so horribly sugges-
tive and pathetic, it revived such poignant memories,
that I got up impulsively—I think I had actually
said the words, ‘We'd better put her out, mother,
after all’—-when my companion rose to her feet and
forestalled me. She said another thing instead. It
took my breath away to hear it. ‘She wants us to
go with her. Pan, will you come too?’ The
surprise on my face must have asked the question,
for I do not remember saying anything. ‘To the
attic,’ she said quietly.
She stood there by the table, a tall, grave figure
142 PAN’S GARDEN
dressed in black, and her face above the lamp-shade
caught the ful! glare of light. Its expression positively
stiffened me. ‘ She seemed so secure in her singular
purpose. And her familiar appearance had so oddly
given place to something wholly strange to me. She
looked like another person—almost with the un-
welcome transformation of the sleep-walker about
her. Cold came over me as I watched her, for I
remembered suddenly her Irish second-sight, her
story years ago of meeting a figure on the attic
stairs, the figure of Petavel. And the idea of this
motherly, sedate, and wholesome woman, absorbed
day and night in prosaic domestic duties, and
yet ‘seeing’ things, touched the incongruous almost
to the point of alarm. It was so distressingly
convincing.
Yet she knew quite well that I would come.
Indeed, following the excited animal, she was already
by the door, and a moment later, still without
answering or protesting, I was with them in the
draughty corridor. There was something inevitable
in her manner that made it impossible to refuse. She
took the lamp from its nail on the wall, and following
our four-footed guide, who ran with obvious pleasure
just in front, she opened the door into the courtyard.
The wind nearly put the lamp out, but a minute later
we were safe inside the passage that led up flights of
creaky wooden stairs towards the world of tenantless
attics overhead. |
And I shall never forget the way the excited
Riquette first stood up and put her paws upon the
various doors, trotted ahead, turned back to watch
us coming, and then finally sat down and waited
on the threshold of the empty, raftered space that
occupied the entire length of the building underneath
THE ATTIC 143
the roof. For her manner was more that of an
intelligent dog than of a cat, and sometimes more
like that of a human mind than either.
We had come up without a single word. The
howling of the wind as we rose higher was like the
roar of artillery. There were many broken stairs,
and the narrow way was full of twists and turnings.
It was a dreadful journey. I felt eyes watching us
from all the yawning spaces of the darkness, and the
noise of the storm smothered footsteps everywhere.
Troops of shadows kept us company. But it was on
the threshold of this big, chief attic, when ‘ mother ’
stopped abruptly to put down the lamp, that real
fear took hold of me. For Riquette marched steadily
forward into the middle of the dusty flooring, picking
her way among the fallen tiles and mortar, as though
she went towards—some one. She purred loudly and
uttered little cries of excited pleasure. Her tail went
up into the air, and she lowered her head with the
unmistakable intention of being stroked. Her lips
opened and shut. Her green eyes smiled. She was
being stroked.
It was an unforgettable performance. I would
rather have witnessed an execution or a murder than
watch that mysterious creature twist and turn about
in the way she did. Her magnified shadow was as
large as a pony on the floor and rafters. I wanted
to hide the whole thing by extinguishing the lamp.
For, even before the mysterious action began, I
experienced the sudden rush of conviction that
others besides ourselves were in this attic—and
standing very close to us indeed. And, although
there was ice in my blood, there was also a strange
swelling of the heart that only love and tenderness
could bring.
144 PAN’S GARDEN
But, whatever it was, my human companion, still
silent, knew and understood. She saw. And her
soft whisper that ran with the wind among the
rafters, ‘Il a prié pour Petavel et le bon Dieu I’a
entendu,’ did not amaze me one quarter as much
as the expression I then caught upon her radiant
face. Tears ran down the cheeks, but they were
tears of happiness. Her whole figure seemed lit
up. She opened her arms—picture of great Mother-
hood, proud, blessed, and tender beyond words.
I thought she was going to fall, for she took
quick steps forward; but when I moved to catch
her, she drew me aside instead with a sudden
gesture that brought fear back in the place of
wonder.
‘Let them pass,’ she whispered grandly. ‘ Pan,
don’t you see. . . . He’s leading him into peace and
safety . . . by the hand!’ And her joy seemed to
kill the shadows and fill the entire attic with white
light.. Then, almost simultaneously with her words,
she swayed. I was in time to catch her, but as I did
so, across the very spot where we had just been
standing—two figures, I swear, went past us like a
flood of light.
There was a moment next of such confusion that
I did not see what happened to Riquette, for the
sight of my companion kneeling on the dusty boards
and praying with a curious sort of passionate happi--
ness, while tears pressed between her covering fingers
—the strange wonder of this made me utterly oblivious
to minor details. . .
We were sitting round the peat fire again, and
‘mother ’ was saying to me in the gentlest, tenderest
whisper I ever heard from human lips—* Pan, I think
perhaps that’s why God took him. . . .
THE ATTIC 145
And when a little later we went in to make
Riquette cosy in the empty bed, ever since kept sacred
to her use, the mournfulness had lifted ; and in the
place of resignation was proud peace and joy that
knew no longer sad or selfish questionings.
Boz.
A a i Tae
aly
hr oF a3
;
2
|
Ry.
).
»
THE HEATH FIRE
THE men at luncheon in Rennie’s Surrey cottage
that September day were discussing, of course, the
heat. All agreed it had been exceptional. But
nothing unusual was said until O’Hara spoke of the
heath fires. They had been rather terrific, several
in a single day, devouring trees and bushes, endanger-
ing human life, and spreading with remarkable
rapidity. The flames, too, had been extraordinarily
high and vehement for heath fires. And O’Hara’s
tone had introduced into the commonplace talk
something new—the element of mystery; it was
nothing definite he said, but manner, eyes, hushed
voice and the rest conveyed it. And it was genuine.
What he /fe/t reached the others rather than what he
said. [he atmosphere in the little room, with the
honeysuckle trailing sweetly across the open windows,
changed ; the talk became of a sudden less casual,
frank, familiar ; and the men glanced at one another
across the table, laughing still, yet with an odd touch
of constraint marking little awkward, unfilled pauses.
Being a group of normal Englishmen, they disliked
mystery ; it made them feel uncomfortable ; for the
things O’Hara hinted at had touched that kind of
elemental terror that lurks secretly in all human
beings. Guarded by ‘culture,’ but never wholly
concealed, the unwelcome thing made its presence
known—the hint of primitive dread that, for instance,
151
152 PAN’S GARDEN
great thunder-storms, tidal waves, or violent con-
flagrations rouse.
And instinctively they fell at once to discussing
the obvious causes of the fires. ‘The stockbroker,
scenting imagination, edged mentally away, sniffing.
But the journalist was full of brisk information,
‘simply given.’
‘lhe sun starts them in Canada, using a dew-
drop as a lens,’ he said, ‘and an engine’s spark,
remember, carries an immense distance without
losing its heat.’
‘But hardly miles,’ said another, who had not been
really listening.
‘It’s my belief,’ put in the critic keenly, ‘that a
lot were done on purpose. Bits of live coal wrapped
in cloth were found, you know.’ He was a little,
weasel-faced iconoclast, dropping the acid of doubt
and disbelief wherever he went, but offering nothing
in the place of what he destroyed. His head was
turret-shaped, lips tight and thin, nose and chin
running to points like gimlets, with which he bored
into the unremunerative clays of life.
‘The general unrest, yes,’ the journalist supported
him, and tried to draw the conversation on to labour
questions. But their host preferred the fire talk.
‘I must say,’ he put in gravely, ‘that. some of the
blazes hereabouts were uncommonly —er— queer,
They started, I mean, so oddly. You remember,
O'Hara, only last week that suspicious one over
Kettlebury way Ei
It seemed he wished to draw the artist out, and
that the artist, feeling the general opposition, declined.
‘Why seek an unusual explanation at all?’ the
critic said at length, impatiently. ‘It’s all natural
enough, if you ask me.’
THE HEATH FIRE 153
‘Natural! Oh yes!’ broke in O'Hara, with a
sudden vehemence that betrayed feeling none had as
yet suspected ; ‘provided you don’t limit the word
to mean only what we understand. There’s nothing
anywhere—unnatural.’
A laugh cut short the threatened tirade, and the
journalist expressed the general feeling with ‘Oh
you, Jim! You'd see a devil in a dust-storm,.or a
fairy in the tea-leaves of your cup!’
‘And why not, pray? Devils and fairies are
every bit as true as formule.’
Some one tactfully guided them away from a
profitless discussion, and they talked glibly of the
damage done, the hideousness of the destroyed
moors, the gaunt, black, ugly slopes, fifty-foot
flames, roaring noises, and the splendour of the
enormous smoke-clouds that had filled the skies.
And Rennie, still hoping to coax O’Hara, repeated
tales the beaters had brought in that crying, as
though living things were caught, had been heard
in places, and that some had seen tall shapes of fire
passing headlong through the choking smoke. For
the note O’Hara had struck refused to be ignored.
It went on sounding underneath the commonest
remark ; and the atmosphere to the end retained
that curious tinge that he had given to it—of the
strange, the ominous, the mysterious and unexplained.
Until, at last, the artist, having added nothing further
to the talk, got up with some abruptness and left the
room. He complained briefly that the fever he had
suffered from still bothered him and he would go
and lie downa bit. The heat, he said, oppressed him.
A silence followed his departure. The broker
drew a sigh as though the market had gone up.
But Rennie, old, comprehending friend, looked
154 PAN’S GARDEN
anxious. ‘Excitement,’ he said, ‘not oppression,
is the word he meant. He’s always a bit strung up
When that Black Sea fever gets him. He brought
it with him from Batoum.’ And another brief
silence followed.
‘Been with you most of the summer, hasn’t he?’
enquired the journalist, on the trail of a ‘par,’
‘painting those wild things of his that no one under-
stands.’ And their host, weighing a moment how
much he might in fairness tell, replied—among
friends it was—‘ Yes ; and this summer they have
been more—er—wild and wonderful than usual—an
extraordinary rush of colour splendid schemes,
“conceptions,” I believe you critics call ’em, of fire,
as though, in a way, the unusual heat had possessed
him for interpretation.’
The group expressed its desultory interest by
uninspired interjections.
‘That was what he meant just now when he said
the fires had been mysterious, required explanation,
or something—the way they started, rather,’ con-
cluded Rennie.
Then he hesitated. He laughed a moment, and
it was an uneasy, apologetic little laugh. How to
continue he hardly knew. Also, he wished to
protect his friend from the cheap jeering of mis-
comprehension. ‘He is very imaginative, you
know,’ he went on, quietly, as no one spoke. ‘You
remember that glorious mad thing he did of the
Fallen Lucifer—driving a star across the heavens
till the heat of the descent set a light to half the
planets, scorched the old moon to the white cinder
that she now is, and passed close enough to earth to
send our oceans up ina single jet of steam? Well,
this time—he’s been at something every bit as wild,
THE HEATH FIRE TE
only truer—finer. And what is it? Briefly, then,
he’s got the idea, it seems, that the unusual heat
from the sun this year has penetrated deep enough—
in places—especially on these unprotected heaths that
retain their heat so cleverly—to reach another
kindred expression—to waken a_ response —in
sympathy, you see—from the central fires of the earth.’
He paused again a moment awkwardly, conscious
how clumsily he expressed it. ‘The parent getting
into touch again with its lost child, eh? See the
idea? Return of the Fire Prodigal, as it were?’
His listeners stared in silence, the broker looking
his obvious relief that O’Hara was not on ’Change,
the critic’s eyes glancing sharply down that pointed,
boring nose of his.
‘And the central fires have felt it and risen in
response,’ continued Rennie in a lower voice. ‘You
see the idea? It’s big, to say the least. The
volcanoes have answered too—there’s old Etna, the
giant of ’em all, breaking out in fifty new mouths of
flame. Heat is latent in everything, only waiting to
be called out. That match you're striking, this
coffee-pot, the warmth in our bodies, and so on—
their heat comes first from the sun, and is therefore
an actual part of the sun, the origin of all heat and
life. And so O’Hara, you know, who sees the
universe as a single homogeneous Oxze and—and—
well, | give it up. Can’t explain it, you see. You
must get him to do that. But somehow this year—
cloudless—the protecting armour of water all gone
too—the sun’s rays managed to sink in and reach
their kind buried deep below. Perhaps, later, we
may get him to show us the studies that he’s made
—whew !—the most—er—amazing things you ever
saw |’
156 PAN’S GARDEN
The ‘superiority’ of unimaginative minds was
inevitable, making Rennie regret that he had told so
much. It was almost as if he had been untrue to
his friend. But at length the group broke up for
the afternoon. They left messages for O’Hara.
Two motored, and the journalist took the train.
The critic followed his sharp nose to London, where
he might ferret out the failures that his mind
delighted in. And when they were gone the host
slipped quickly upstairs to find his friend. The
heat was unbearable to suffocation, the little bedroom
like an oven. But Jim O’Hara was not in it.
For, instead of lying down as he had said, a fierce
revolt, stirred by the talk of those unvisioned minds
below, had wakened, and the deep, sensitive, poet’s
soul in him had leaped suddenly to the acceptance
of an impossible thing. He had escaped, driven
forth by the secret call of wonder. He made full
speed for the destroyed moors. Fever or no fever,
he must see for himself. Did no one understand ?
Was he the only one? . . . Walking quickly, he
passed the Frensham Ponds, came through that spot of
loneliness and beauty, the Lion’s Mouth, noting that
even there the pool of water had dried up and
the rushes waved in the hot air over a bed of hard,
caked mud, and so reached within the hour the wide
expanse of Thursley Common. On every side the
world stretched dark and burnt, a cemetery of
cinders. Great thrills rushed through his heart ; and
with the power of a tide that yet came at flashing
speed the truth rose up in him. . . . Half running now,
he plunged forward another mile or two, and found
himself, the only living thing, amid the great waste
of heather-land. The blazing sunlight drenched it.
THE HEATH FIRE 157
It lay, a sheet of weird dark beauty, spreading like
a black, enormous garden as far as the eye could
reach. )
Then, breathless, he paused and looked about him.
Within his heart something, long smouldering, ran
into sudden flame. Light blazed upon his inner
world. For as the scorch of vehement passion
may quicken tracts of human consciousness that
lie ordinarily inert and unproductive, so here the
surface of the earth had turned alive. He knew;
he saw ; he understood.
Here, in these open sun-traps that gathered and
retained the heat, the fire of the Universe had
dropped and lain, increasing week by week. These
_ parched, dry months, the soil, free from rejecting
and protective moisture, had let it all accumulate till
at length it had sunk downwards, inwards, and
the sister fires below, responding to the touch of
their ancient parent source, too long unfelt, had
answered with a swift uprising roar. They had
come up with answering joy, and here and there had
actually reached the surface, and had leaped out
with dancing cry, wild to escape from an age-long
prison back to their huge, eternal origin.
This sunshine, ah! what was it? These farthing
dips of heat men complained about in their tiny,
cage-like houses! It scorched the grass and fields,
yes ; but the surface never held it long enough to
let it sink to union with its kindred of the darker
fires beneath! These cried for it, but union was
ever denied and stifled by the weight of cooled and
cooling rock. And theages of separation had almost
cooled remembrance too—fire—the kiss and strength
of fire—the flaming embrace and burning lips of the
father sun himself. . . . He could have cried with the
158 PAN’S GARDEN
fierce delight of it all, and the picture he would paint
rose there before him, burnt gloriously into the
canvas of the entire heavens. Was not his own
heat and life also from the sun? .. .
He stared about him in the deep silence of the
afternoon. The world was still. It basked in the
windless heat. No living thing stirred, for the
common forms of life had fled away. Earth waited.
He, too, waited. And then some touch of intuition,
blown to white heat, supplied the link the pedestrian
intellect missed, and he knew that what he waited for
was on the way. For he would see. The message
he should paint would come before his outer eye
as well, though not, as he had first stupidly
expected, on some grand, enormous scale. Rather
would it be the equivalent of that still, small voice
that once had inspired anentire nation. . . .
The wind passed very softly across the un-
burnt patch of heather where he lay; he heard it
rustling in the skeletons of scorched birch trees, and
in the gorse and furze bushes that the flame had left
so ghostly pale. Farther off it sang in the isolated
pines, dying away like surf upon some far-off reef.
He smelt the bitter perfume of burnt soil, the
pungent, acrid odour of beaten ashes. The purple-
black of the moors yawned like openings in the side
of the earth. In all directions for miles stretched
the deep emptiness of the heather-lands, an immense,
dark, magic garden, still black with the feet of
wonder that had flown across it and left it so
beautifully scarred. The shadow of the terrible
embrace still trailed and lingered as though Midnight
had screened a time of passion with this curtain of
her softest plumes.
And shey had called it ugly, had spoken of its
THE HEATH FIRE 159
matred beauty, its hideousness! He laughed
exultantly as he drank it in, for the weird and
savage splendour everywhere broke loose and spread,
passing from the earth into the receptive substance of
his own mind. Even the roots of gorse and heather,
like petrified, shadow-eating snakes, charged with
the mystery of that eternal underworld whence they
had risen, lay waiting for the return of the night of
sleep whence Fire had wakened them. Lost ghosts
of a salamander army that the flame had swept above
the ground, they lay anguished and frightened in
the glare of the unaccustomed sun. . . .
And waiting, he stared about him in the deep
silence of the afternoon. Hazy with distance he
saw the peak of Crooksbury, dim in its sheet of
pines, waving a blue-plumed crest into the sky for
signal; and close about him rose the more sombre
glory of the lesser knolls and boulders, still cloaked
in the swarthy magic of the smoke. Amid pools of
ashes in the nearer hollows he saw the blue beauty
of the fire-weed that rushes instantly into life behind
all conflagrations. It was blowing softly in the wind.
And here and there, set like emeralds upon some
dusky bosom, lay the brilliant spires of young
bracken that rose to clap a thousand tiny hands
in the heart of exquisite desolation. In a cloud
of green they rustled in the wind above the sea of
black. . .. And so within himself O’Hara realised
the huge excitement of the flame this fragment of
the earth had felt. For Fire, mysterious symbol of
universal life, spirit that prodigally gives itself with-
out itself diminishing, had passed in power across
this ancient heather-land, leaving the soul of it all
naked and unashamed. The sun had loved it. The
fires below had risen up and answered. They had
160 PAN’S GARDEN
known that union with their source which some call
deathe ie.
And the fires were rising still. The poet’s heart
in him became suddenly and awfully aware. Ye
stars of fire! This patch of unburnt heather where
he lay had been untouched as yet, but now the flame
in his soul had brought the little needed link and he
would see. The thing of wonder that the Universe
should teach him how to paint was already on the
way. Called by the sun, tremendous, splendid
parent, the central fires were still rising.
And he turned, weakness and exultation racing
for possession of him. ‘The wind passed softly over
his face, and with it came a faint, dry sound. It
was distant and yet close beside him. At the stir of
it there rose also in himself a strange vast thing that
was bigger than the bulk of the moon and wide as
the extension of swept forests, yet small and gentle
as a blade of grass that pricks the lawn in spring.
And he realised then that ‘within’ and ‘without ’
had turned one, and that over the entire moorland
arrived this thing that was happening too in a white-
hot point of his own heart. He was linked with the
sun and the farthest star, and in his little finger
glowed the heat and fire of the universe itself. In
sympathy his own fires were rising too.
The sound was born—a faint, light noise of
crackling in the heather at his feet. He bent his
head and searched, and among the obscure and tiny
underways of the roots he saw a tip of curling smoke
rise slowly upwards. It moved in a thin, blue spiral
past his face. Then terror took him that was like
a terror of the mountains, yet with it at the same
time a realisation of beauty that made the heart leap
within him into dazzling radiance. For the incense
THE HEATH FIRE 161
of this fairy column of thin smoke drew his soul out
with it—upwards towards its source. He rose to
his feet, trembling. .
He watched the line rise slowly to the sky and
vanish into blue. The whole expanse of blackened
heather-land watched too. Wind sank away; the
sunshine dropped to meet it. A sense of deep
expectancy, profound and reverent, lay over all that
sun-baked moor; and the entire sweep of burnt
world about him knew with joy that what was
taking place in that wee, isolated patch of Surrey
heather was the thing the Hebrew mystic knew
when the Soul of the Universe became manifest in
the bush that burned, yet never was consumed. In
that faint sound of crackling, as he stood aside to
listen and to watch, O’Hara knew a form of the
eternal Voice of Ages. There was no flame, but it
seemed to him that all his inner being passed in fiery
heat outwards towards its source. . . . He saw the
little patch of dried-up heather sink to the level of
the black surface all about it—a sifted pile of delicate,
pale-blue ashes. The tiny spiral vanished; he
watched it disappear, winding upwards out of sight
in a little ghostly trail of beauty. So small and soft
and simple was this wonder of the world. It was
gone. And something in himself had _ broken,
dropped in ashes, and passed also outwards like a
tiny mounting flame.
But the picture O’Hara had thought himself
designed to paint was never done. It was not even
begun. The great canvas of ‘ The Fire Worshipper ’
stood empty on the easel, for the artist had not
strength to lift a brush. Within two days the final
breath passed slowly from his lips. The strange
M
162 PAN’S GARDEN
fever that so perplexed the doctor by its rapid
development and its fury took him so easily. His
temperature was extraordinary. The heat, as of an
internal fire, fairly devoured him, and the smile upon
his face at the last—so Rennie declared—was the
most perplexingly wonderful thing he had ever seen.
‘It was like a great, white flame,’ he said.
SANDHILLS.
THE MESSENGER
> ESS tcc USEPLEREE,
THE MESSENGER
fo oanc naa
THE MESSENGER
I Have never been afraid of ghostly things, attracted
rather with a curious live interest, though it is
always out of doors that strange Presences get
nearest to me, and in Nature I have encountered
warnings, messages, presentiments, and the like, that,
by way of help or guidance, have later justified
themselves. I have, therefore, welcomed them.
But in the little rooms of houses things of much
value rarely come, for the thick air chokes the
Wires, as it were, and distorts or mutilates the clear
delivery.
But the other night, here in the carpenter’s house,
where my attic windows beckon to the mountains
and the woods, I woke with the uncomfortably strong
suggestion that something was on the way, and that
I was not ready. It camealong the by-ways of deep
sleep. I woke abruptly, alarmed before I was even
properly awake. Something was approaching with
great swiftness—and I was unprepared.
Across the lake there were faint signs of colour
behind the distant Alps, but terraces of mist still
lay grey above the vineyards, and the slim poplar,
whose tip was level with my face, no more than
rustled in the wind of dawn. AQ shiver, not brought
to me by any wind, ran through my nerves, for |
knew with a certainty no arguing could lessen nor
167
168 PAN’S GARDEN
dispel that something from immensely far away was
deliberately now approaching me. The touch of
wonder in advance of it was truly awful; its
splendour, size, and grandeur belonged to conditions
I had surely never known. It came through empty
spaces—from another world. While I lay asleep it
had been already on the way.
I stood there a moment, seeking for some outward
sign that might betray its nature. The last stars
were fading in the northern sky, and blue and dim
lay the whole long line of the Jura, cloaked beneath
still slumbering forests. There was a rumbling of a
distant train. Now and then a dog barked in some
outlying farm. The Night was up and walking,
though as yet she moved but slowly from the sky.
Shadows still draped the world. And the warning
that had reached me first in sleep rushed through
my tingling nerves once more with a certainty not
far removed from shock. Something from another
world was drawing every minute nearer, with a speed
that made me tremble and half-breathless. It would
presently arrive. It would stand close beside me
and look straight into my face. Into these very
eyes that searched the mist and shadow for an out-
ward sign it would gaze intimately with a Message
brought for me alone. But into these narrow walls
it could only come with difficulty. The message
would be maimed. There still was time for prepara-
tion. And I hurried into clothes and made my
way downstairs and out into the open air.
Thus, at first, by climbing fast, I kept ahead of
it, and soon the village lay beneath me in its nest of
shadow, and the limestone ridges far above dropped
nearer, But the awe and terrible deep wonder did
not go. Along these mountain paths, whose every
THE MESSENGER 169
inch was so intimate that I could follow them even
in the dark, this sense of breaking grandeur clung
to my footsteps, keeping close. Nothing upon the
earth—familiar, friendly, well-known, little earth—
could have brought this sense that pressed upon the
edges of true reverence. It was the awareness that
some speeding messenger from spaces far, far beyond
the world would presently stand close and touch me,
would gaze into my little human eyes, would leave
its message as of life or death, and then depart upon
its fearful way again—it was this that conveyed the
feeling of apprehension that went with me.
And instinctively, while rising higher and higher,
I chose the darkest and most sheltered way. I
sought the protection of the trees, and ran into the
deepest vaults of the forest. The moss was soaking wet
beneath my feet, and the thousand tapering spires of
the pines dipped upwards into a sky already brighten-
ing with palest gold and crimson. There was a
whispering and a rustling overhead as the trees, who
know everything before it comes, announced to one
another that the thing I sought to hide from was
already very, very near. Plunging deeper into the
woods to hide, this detail of sure knowledge followed
me and laughed: that the speed of this august
arrival was one which made the greatest speed I
ever dreamed of a mere standing still. . . .
I hid myself where possible in the darkness that
was growing every minute more rare. The air was
sharp and exquisitely fresh. I heard birds calling.
The low, wet branches kissed my face and hair. A
sense of glad relief came over me that I had left the
closeness of the little attic chamber, and that I should
eventually meet this huge New-comer in the wide,
free spaces of the mountains. There must be room
170 PAN’S GARDEN
where I could hold myself unmanacled to meet it.
... The village lay far beneath me, a patch of
smoke and mist and soft red-brown roofs among
the vineyards. And then my gaze turned upwards,
and through a rift in the close-wrought ceiling of
the trees I saw the clearness of the open sky. A
strip of cloud ran through it, carrying off the Night’s
last little dream ... and down into my heart
dropped instantly that cold breath of awe I have
known but once in life, when staring through. the
stupendous mouth within the Milky Way — that
opening into the outer spaces of eternal dark-
ness, unlit by any single star, men call the Coal
Hole.
The futility of escape then took me bodily, and I
renounced all further flight. From this speeding
Messenger there was no hiding possible. His
splendid shoulders already brushed the sky. I heard
the rushing of his awful wings . . . yet in that deep,
significant silence with which light steps upon the
clouds of morning.
And simultaneously I left the woods behind me
and stood upon a naked ridge of rock that all night
long had watched the stars.
Then terror passed away like magic. Cool winds
from the valleys bore me up. I heard the tinkling
of a thousand cowbells from pastures far below in
a score of hidden valleys. The cold departed, and
with it every trace of little fears. My eyes seemed
for an instant blinded, and I knew that deep sense of
joy which seems so ‘ unearthly’ that it almost stains
the sight with the veil of tears. The soul sank to
her knees in prayer and worship.
For the messenger from another world had come.
He stood beside me on that dizzy ledge. Warmth
THE MESSENGER 171
clothed me, and I knew myself akin to deity. He
stood there, gazing straight into my little human
eyes. He touched me everywhere. Above the
distant Alps the sun came up. His eye looked
close into my own.
Bote,
‘ 4
Ria,
my YS «= 3220s
A She he
9 ets é
i ile ;
aces ar OP ay
‘ ee ie te
fae
.
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a
_ THE GLAMOUR OF THE
ul
I
Hispert, always conscious of two worlds, was in
this mountain village conscious of three. It lay on
the slopes of the Valais Alps, and he had taken a
room in the little post office, where he could be at
peace to write his book, yet at the same time enjoy
the winter sports and find companionship-in the
hotels when he wanted it.
The three worlds that met and mingled here
seemed to his imaginative temperament very obvious,
though it is doubtful if another mind less intuitively
equipped would have seen them so well-defined.
There was the world of tourist English, civilised,
quasi-educated, to which he belonged by birth, at
any rate; there was the world of peasants to which
he felt himself drawn by sympathy—for he loved
and admired their toiling, simple life ; and there was
this other—which he could only call the world of
Nature. To this last, however, in virtue of a
vehement poetic imagination, and a tumultuous
pagan instinct fed by his very blood, he felt that
most of him belonged. The others borrowed from
it, as it were, for visits. Here, with the soul of
Nature, hid his central life.
Between all three was conflict—potential conflict.
On the skating-rink each Sunday the tourists regarded
the natives as intruders; in the church the peasants
plainly questioned : ‘Why do you come? We are
177 N
178 PAN’S GARDEN
here to worship ; you to stare and whisper!’ For
neither of these two worlds accepted the other. And
neither did Nature accept the tourists, for it took
advantage of their least mistakes, and indeed, even
of the peasant-world ‘accepted’ only those who
were strong and bold enough to invade her savage
domain with sufficient skill to protect themselves
from several forms of—death.
Now Hibbert was keenly aware of this potential
conflict and want of harmony ; he felt outside, yet
caught by it—torn in the three directions because he
was partly of each world, but wholly in only one.
There grew in him a constant, subtle effort—or, at
least, desire—to unify them and decide positively
to which he should belong and live in. The attempt,
of course, was largely subconscious. It was the
natural instinct of a richly imaginative nature seeking
the point of equilibrium, so that the mind could feel
at peace and his brain be free to do good work.
Among the guests no one especially claimed his
interest. The men were nice but undistinguished—
athletic schoolmasters, doctors snatching a holiday,
good fellows all ; the women, equally various—the
clever, the would-be-fast, the dare-to-be-dull, the
women ‘who understood,’ and the usual pack of jolly
dancing girls and ‘flappers.’ And Hibbert, with his
forty odd years of thick experience behind him, got
on well with the lot; he understood them all; they
belonged to definite, predigested types that are the
same the world over, and that he had met the world
over long ago.
But to none of them did he belong. His nature
was too ‘multiple’ to subscribe to the set of
shibboleths of any one class. And, since all liked
him, and felt that somehow he seemed outside of
> ‘
THE GLAMOUR OF THE SNOW 179
them—spectator, looker -on—all sought to claim
him.
In a sense, therefore, the three worlds fought for
him : natives, tourists, Nature. . . .
It was thus began the singular conflict for the soul
of Hibbert. Jz his own soul, however, it took place.
Neither the peasants nor the tourists were conscious
that they fought for anything. And Nature, they
say, is merely blind and automatic.
The assault upon him of the peasants may be left
out of account, for it is obvious that they stood no
chance of success. The tourist world, however,
made a gallant effort to subdue him to themselves.
But the evenings in the hotel, when dancing was not
in order, were—English. The provincial imagina-
tion was set upon a throne and worshipped heavily
through incense of the stupidest conventions possible.
Fiibbert used to go back early to his room in the
post office to work.
‘It is a mistake on my part to have realised that
there is any conflict at all,’ he thought, as he
crunched home over the snow at midnight after one
of the dances. ‘It would have been better to have
kept outside it all and done my work. Better,’ he
added, looking back down the silent village street to
the church tower, ‘and—safer.’
The adjective slipped from his mind before he
was aware of it. He turned with an involuntary
start and looked about him. He knew perfectly
well what it meant—this thought that had thrust its
head up from the instinctive region. He understood,
without being able to express it fully, the meaning
that betrayed itself in the choice of the adjective.
For if he had ignored the existence of this conflict
he would at the same time have remained outside
180 PAN’S GARDEN
the arena. Whereas now he had entered the lists.
Now this battle for his soul must have issue. And
he knew that the spell of Nature was greater for him
than all other spells in the world combined—greater
than love, revelry, pleasure, greater even than study.
He had always been afraid to let himself go. His
pagan soul dreaded her terrific powers of witchery
even while he worshipped. |
The little village already slept. The world lay
smothered in snow. ‘The chalet roofs shone white
beneath the moon, and pitch-black shadows gathered
against the walls of the church. His eye rested a
moment on the square stone tower with its frosted
cross that pointed to the sky: then travelled with
a leap of many thousand feet to the enormous
mountains that brushed the brilliant stars. Like a
forest rose the huge peaks above the slumbering village,
measuring the night and heavens. They beckoned
him. And something born of the snowy desolation,
born of the midnight and the silent grandeur, born
of the great listening hollows of the night, something
that lay ’twixt terror and wonder, dropped from the
vast wintry spaces down into his heart—and called
him. Very softly, unrecorded in any word or
thought his brain could compass, it laid its spell
upon him. Fingers of snow brushed the surface
of his heart. The power and quiet majesty of the
winter's night appalled him... .
Fumbling a moment with the big unwieldy key,
he let himself in and went upstairs to bed. Two
thoughts went with him—apparently quite ordinary
and sensible ones :
‘What fools these peasants are to sleep through
such a night!’ And the other :
‘Those dances tire me. Ill never go again.
THE GLAMOUR OF THE SNOW 181
My work only suffers in the morning.’ The claims
of peasants and tourists upon him seemed thus in a
single instant weakened.
The clash of battle troubled half his dreams.
Nature had sent her Beauty of the Night and won
the first assault. The others, routed and dismayed,
fled far away.
IT
‘Don’t go back to your dreary old post office.
We're going to have supper in my room—something
hot. Come and join us. Hurry up!’
There had been an ice carnival, and the last party,
tailing up the snow-slope to the hotel, called him.
The Chinese lanterns smoked and sputtered on the
wires ; the band had long since gone. The cold was
bitter and the moon came only momentarily between
high, driving clouds. From the shed where the
people changed from skates to snow-boots he shouted
something to the effect that he was ‘following’; but
no answer came; the moving shadows of those who
had called were already merged high up against the
village darkness. The voices died away. Doors
slammed. Hibbert found himself alone on the
deserted rink.
And it was then, quite suddenly, the impulse
came to—stay and skate alone. The thought of the
stuffy hotel room, and of those noisy people with
their obvious jokes and laughter, oppressed him.
He felt a longing to be alone with the night, to taste
her wonder all by himself there beneath the stars,
gliding over the ice. It was not yet midnight, and
he could skate for half an hour. That supper party,
if they noticed his absence at all, would merely think
he had changed his mind and gone to bed.
It was an impulse, yes, and not an unnatural one ;
182
THE GLAMOUR OF THE SNOW 183
yet even at the time it struck him that something
more than impulse lay concealed behind it. More
than invitation, yet certainly less than command,
there was a vague queer feeling that he stayed because
he had to, almost as though there was something he
had forgotten, overlooked, left undone. Imaginative
temperaments are often thus; and impulse is ever
weakness. For with such ill-considered opening of
the doors to hasty action may come an invasion of
other forces at the same time—forces merely waiting
their opportunity perhaps !
He caught the fugitive warning even while he
dismissed it as absurd, and the next minute he was
whirling over the smooth ice in delightful curves and
loops beneath the moon. There was no fear of
collision. He could take his own speed and space
as he willed. The shadows of the towering mountains
fell across the rink, and a wind of ice came from the
forests, where the snow lay ten feet deep. The hotel
lights winked and went out. The village slept.
The high wire netting could not keep out the wonder
of the winter night that grew about him like a
presence. He skated on and on, keen exhilarating
pleasure in his tingling blood, and weariness all
forgotten.
And then, midway in the delight of rushing
movement, he saw a figure gliding behind the wire
netting, watching him. With a start that almost
made him lose his balance—for the abruptness of the
new arrival was so unlooked for—he paused and stared.
Although the light was dim he made out that it was
the figure of a woman and that she was feeling her
way along the netting, trying to get in. Against the
white background of the snow-field he watched her
rather stealthy efforts as she passed with a silent
184 PAN’S GARDEN
step over the banked-up snow. She was tall and slim
and graceful; he could see that even in the dark.
And then, of course, he understood. It was another
adventurous skater like himself, stolen down unawares
from hotel or chalet, and searching for the opening.
At once, making a sign and pointing with one hand,
he turned swiftly and skated over to the little entrance
on the other side.
But, even before he got there, there was a sound on
the ice behind him and, with an exclamation of amaze-
ment he could not suppress, he turned to see her
swerving up to his side across the width of the rink.
She had somehow found another way in.
Hibbert, as a rule, was punctilious, and in these
free-and-easy places, perhaps, especially so. If only
for his own protection he did not seek to make
advances unless some kind of introduction paved the
way. But for these two to skate together in the
semi-darkness without speech, often of necessity
brushing shoulders almost, was too absurd to think
of. Accordingly he raised his cap and spoke. His
actual words he seems unable to recall, nor what the
girl said in reply, except that she answered him in
accented English with some commonplace about
doing figures at midnight on an empty rink. Quite
natural it was, and right. She wore grey clothes of
some kind, though not the customary long gloves
or sweater, for indeed her hands were bare, and
presently when he skated with her, he wondered with
something like astonishment at their dry and icy
coldness.
And she was delicious to skate with—supple, sure,
and light, fast as a man yet with the freedom of a
child, sinuous and steady at the same time. Her
flexibility made him wonder, and when he asked
THE GLAMOUR OF THE SNOW 185
where she had learned she murmured—he caught the
breath against his ear and recalled later that it was
singularly cold—that she could hardly tell, for she
had been accustomed to the ice ever since she could
remember.
But her face he never properly saw. A muffler of
white fur buried her neck to the ears, and her cap
came over the eyes. He only saw that she was
young. Nor could he gather her hotel or chilet,
for she pointed vaguely, when he asked her, up the
slopes. ‘Just over there * she said, quickly
taking his hand again. He did not press her; no
doubt she wished to hide her escapade. And the
touch of her hand thrilled him more than anything
he could remember ; even through his thick glove
he felt the softness of that cold and delicate softness.
The clouds thickened over the mountains. It
grew darker. They talked very little, and did not
always skate together. Often they separated, curving
about in corners by themselves, but always coming
together again in the centre of the rink ; and when
she left him thus Hibbert was conscious of—yes, of
missing her. He found a peculiar satisfaction, almost
a fascination, in skating by her side. It was quite an
adventure—these two strangers with the ice and
snow and night!
Midnight had long since sounded from the old
church tower before they parted. She gave the sign,
and he skated quickly to the shed, meaning to find a
seat and help her take her skates off. Yet when he
turned—she had already gone. He saw her slim
figure gliding away across the snow . . . and hurry-
ing for the last time round the rink alone he searched
in vain for the opening she had twice used in this
curious way.
186 PAN’S GARDEN
‘How very queer!’ he thought, referring to the
wire netting. ‘She must have lifted it and wriggled
unde Annes!”
Wondering how in the world she managed it, what
in the world had possessed him to be so free with
her, and who in the world she was, he went up the
steep slope to the post office and so to bed, her
promise to come again another night still ringing
delightfully in his ears. And curious were the
thoughts and sensations that accompanied him.
Most of all, perhaps, was the half suggestion of some
dim memory that he had known this girl before, had
met her somewhere, more—that she knew him. For
in her voice—a low, soft, windy little voice it was,
tender and soothing for all its quiet coldness—there
lay some faint reminder of two others he had known,
both long since gone: the voice of the woman he had
loved, and—the voice of his mother.
But this time through his dreams there ran no
clash of battle. He was conscious, rather, of some-
thing cold and clinging that made him think of
sifting snowflakes climbing slowly with entangling
touch and thickness round his feet. The snow,
coming without noise, each flake so light and tiny
none can mark the spot whereon it settles, yet the
mass of it able to smother whole villages, wove through
the very texture of his mind—cold, bewildering,
deadening effort with its clinging network of ten
million feathery touches.
II
In the morning Hibbert realised he had done, perhaps,
afoolish thing. The brilliant sunshine that drenched
the valley made him see this, and the sight of his
work-table with its typewriter, books, papers, and the
rest, brought additional conviction. To have skated
with a girl alone at midnight, no matter how inno-
cently the thing had come about, was unwise—unfair,
especially to her. Gossip in these little winter
resorts was worse than in a provincial town. He
hoped no one had seen them. Luckily the night
had been dark. Most likely none had heard the ring
of skates.
Deciding that in future he would be more careful,
he plunged into work, and sought to dismiss the
matter from his mind.
But in his times of leisure the memory returned
persistently to haunt him. When he ‘ski-d,’ ‘ luged,’
or danced in the evenings, and especially when he
skated on the little rink, he was aware that the eyes
of his mind forever sought this strange companion
of the night. A hundred times he fancied that he
saw her, but always sight deceived him. Her face
he might not know, but he could hardly fail to recog-
nise her figure. Yet nowhere among the others did he
catch a glimpse of that slim young creature he had
skated with alone beneath the clouded stars. He
searched in vain. Even his inquiries as to the
187
188 PAN’S GARDEN
occupants of the private chalets brought no results.
He had lost her. But the queer thing was that he
felt as though she were somewhere close ;. he knew
she had not really gone. While people came and
left with every day, it never once occurred to him
that she had left. On the contrary, he felt assured
that they would meet again.
This thought he never quite acknowledged.
Perhaps it was the wish that fathered it only. And,
even when he did meet her, it was a question how he
would speak and claim acquaintance, or whether she
would recognise himself. It might be awkward. He
almost came to dread a meeting, though ‘dread,’ of
course, wasfar too strong a word to describe an emotion
that was half delight, half wondering anticipation.
Meanwhile the season was in full swing. Hibbert
felt in perfect health, worked hard, ski-d, skated,
luged, and at night danced fairly often—in spite of
his decision. This dancing was, however, an act of
subconscious surrender ; it really meant he hoped to
find her among the whirling couples. He was search-
ing for her without quite acknowledging it to himself;
and the hotel-world, meanwhile, thinking it had won
him over, teased and chaffed him. He made excuses
in a similar vein; but all the time he watched and
searched and—waited.
For several days the sky held clear and bright and
frosty, bitterly cold, everything crisp and sparkling
in the sun ; but there was no sign of fresh snow, and
the ski-ers began to grumble. On the mountains
was an icy crust that made ‘running’ dangerous ;
they wanted the frozen, dry, and powdery snow that
makes for speed, renders steering easier and falling less
severe. But the keen east wind showed no signs of
changing for a whole ten days. Then, suddenly,
THE GLAMOUR OF THE SNOW 189
there came a touch of softer air and the weather-wise
began to prophesy.
Hibbert, who was delicately sensitive to the least
change in earth or sky, was perhaps the first to feel
it. Only he did not prophesy. He knew through
every nerve in his body that moisture had crept into
the air, was accumulating, and that presently a fall
would come. For he responded to the moods of
Nature like a fine barometer.
And the knowledge, this time, brought into his
heart a strange little wayward emotion that was hard
to account for—a feeling of unexplained uneasiness
and disquieting joy. For behind it, woven through
it rather, ran a faint exhilaration that connected re-
motely somewhere with that touch of delicious alarm,
that tiny anticipating ‘dread,’ that so puzzled him
when he thought of his next meeting with his skating
companion of the night. It lay beyond all words,
all telling, this queer relationship between the two ;
but somehow the girl and snow ran in a pair across
his mind.
Perhaps for imaginative writing-men, more than
for other workers, the smallest change of mood be-
trays itself at once. His work at any rate revealed
this slight shifting of emotional values in his soul.
Not that his writing suffered, but that it altered,
subtly as those changes of sky or sea or landscape
that come with the passing of afternoon into evening
—imperceptibly. A subconscious excitement sought
to push outwards and express itself . . . and, know-
ing the uneven effect such moods produced in his
work, he laid his pen aside and took instead to read-
ing that he had to do.
Meanwhile the brilliance passed from the sunshine,
the sky grew slowly overcast ; by dusk the mountain
190 PAN’S GARDEN
tops came singularly close and sharp; the distant
valley rose into absurdly near perspective. The
moisture increased, rapidly approaching saturation
point, when it must fall in snow. Hibbert watched
and waited.
And in the morning the world lay smothered
beneath its fresh white carpet. It snowed heavily
till noon, thickly, incessantly, chokingly, a foot or
more; then the sky cleared, the sun came out in
splendour, the wind shifted -back to the east, and
frost came down upon the mountains with its keenest
and most biting tooth. The drop in the temperature
was tremendous, but the ski-ers were jubilant. Next
day the ‘running’ would be fast and perfect. Already
the mass was settling, and the surface freezing into
those moss-like, powdery crystals that make the ski
run almost of their own accord with the faint
‘sishing’ as of a bird’s wings through the air.
IV
Tuat night there was excitement in the little hotel-
world, first because there was a da/ costumé, but chiefly
because the new snow had come. And Hibbert went
—felt drawn to go; he did not go in costume, but
he wanted to talk about the slopes and ski-ing with
the other men, and at the same time. .. .
Ah, there was the truth, the deeper necessity that
called. For the singular connection between the
stranger and the snow again betrayed itself, utterly
beyond explanation as before, but vital and insistent.
Some hidden instinct in his pagan soul—heaven
knows how he phrased it even to himself, if he
phrased it at all—whispered that with the snow the
girl would be somewhere about, would emerge from
her hiding place, would even look for him.
Absolutely unwarranted it was. He laughed
while he stood before the little glass and trimmed his
moustache, tried to make his black tie sit straight, and
shook down his dinner jacket so that it should lie
upon the shoulders without a crease. His brown
eyes were very bright. ‘I look younger than |
usually do,’ he thought. It was unusual, even
significant, in a man who had no vanity about his
appearance and certainly never questioned his age or
tried to look younger than he was. Affairs of the
heart, with one tumultuous exception that left no
fuel for lesser subsequent fires, had never troubled
191
192 PAN’S GARDEN
him. The forces of his soul and mind not called
upon for ‘work’ and obvious duties, all went to
Nature. The desolate, wild places of the earth were
what he loved ; night, and the beauty of the stars and
snow. And this evening he felt their claims upon
him mightily stirring. A rising wildness caught his
blood, quickened his pulse, woke longing and passion
too. But chiefly snow. The snow whirred softly
through his thoughts like white, seductive dreams.
. . . For the snow had come; and She, it seemed,
had somehow come with it—into his mind.
And yet he stood before that twisted mirror and
pulled his tie and coat askew a dozen times, as though
it mattered. ‘What in the world is up with me?’
he thought. Then, laughing a little, he turned
before leaving the room to put his private papers in
order. The green morocco desk that held them he
took down from the shelf and laid upon the table.
Tied to the lid was the visiting card with his brother’s
London address ‘in case of accident.’ On the way
down to the hotel he wondered why he had done
this, for though imaginative, he was not the kind of
man who dealt in presentiments. Moods with him
were strong, but ever held in leash.
‘It's almost like a warning,’ he thought, smiling.
He drew his thick coat tightly round the throat as
the freezing air bit at him. ‘Those warnings one
reads of in stories sometimes . . . |’
A delicious happiness was in his blood. Over —
the edge of the hills across the valley rose the moon.
He saw her silver sheet the world of snow. Snow
covered all. It smothered sound and distance. It
smothered houses, streets, and human beings. It
smothered—life.
V
In the hall there was light and bustle ; people were
already arriving from the other hotels and chalets,
their costumes hidden beneath many wraps. Groups
of men in evening dress stood about smoking
talking ‘snow’ and ‘ski-ing.’ The band was tuning
up. The claims of the hotel-world clashed about
him faintly as of old. At the big glass windows of
the verandah, peasants stopped a moment on their
way home from the café to peer. Hibbert thought
laughingly of that conflict he used to imagine. He
laughed because it suddenly seemed so unreal. He
belonged so utterly to Nature and the mountains,
and especially to those desolate slopes where now
the snow lay thick and fresh and sweet, that there
was no question of a conflict at all. The power of
the newly fallen snow had caught him, proving it
without effort. Out there, upon those lonely reaches
of the moonlit ridges, the snow lay ready—masses
and masses of it—cool, soft, inviting. He longed
for it. It awaited him. He thought of the
intoxicating delight of ski-ing in the moonlight. . .
Thus, somehow, in vivid flashing vision, he
thought of it while he stood there smoking with
the other men and talking all the ‘shop’ of ski-ing.
And, ever mysteriously blended with this power
of the snow, poured also through his inner being the
193 O
194 PAN’S GARDEN
power of the girl. He could not disabuse his mind
of the insinuating presence of the two together. He
remembered that queer skating-impulse of ten days
ago, the impulse that had let her in. That any
mind, even an imaginative one, could pass beneath
the sway of such a fancy was strange enough; and
Hibbert, while fully aware of the disorder, yet found
a curious joy in yielding to it. This insubordi-
nate centre that drew him towards old pagan beliefs
had assumed command. With a kind of sensuous
pleasure he let himself be conquered.
And snow that night seemed in everybody’s
thoughts.. The dancing couples talked of it; the
hotel proprietors congratulated one another; it
meant good sport and satisfied their guests; every
one was planning trips and expeditions, talking of
slopes and telemarks, of flying speed and distance,
of drifts and crust and frost. Vitality and
enthusiasm pulsed in the very air; all were alert
and active, positive, radiating currents of creative
life even into the stuffy atmosphere of that crowded
ball-room. And the snow had caused it, the snow
had brought it ; all this discharge of eager sparkling
energy was due primarily to the—Snow.
But in the mind of Hibbert, by some swift
alchemy of his pagan yearnings, this energy became
transmuted. It rarefied itself, gleaming in white and
crystal currents of passionate anticipation, which he
transferred, as by a species of electrical imagination,
into the personality of the girl—the Girl of the
Snow. She somewhere was waiting for him,
expécting him, calling to him softly from those
leagues of moonlit mountain. He remembered the
touch of that cool, dry hand; the soft and icy
breath against his cheek ; the hush and softness of
THE GLAMOUR OF THE SNOW 195
her presence in the way she came and the way she
had gone again—like a flurry of snow the wind
sent gliding up the slopes. She, like himself,
belonged out there. He fancied that he heard her
little windy voice come sifting to him through the
snowy branches of the trees, calling his name .
that haunting little voice that dived straight to the
centre of his life as once, long years ago, two other
voices used todo... .
But nowhere among the costumed dancers did he
see her slender figure. He danced with one and all,
distrait and absent, a stupid partner as each girl
discovered, his eyes ever turning towards the door
and windows, hoping to catch the luring face, the
vision that did not come . . . and at length, hoping
even against hope. For the ball-room thinned ;
groups left one by one, going home to their hotels
and chalets; the band tired obviously ; people sat
drinking lemon-squashes at the little tables, the
men mopping their foreheads, everybody ready for
bed. :
It was close on midnight. As Hibbert passed
through the hall to get his overcoat and snow-boots,
he saw men in the passage by the ‘sport-room,’
greasing their ski against an early start. Knapsack
luncheons were being ordered by the kitchen swing
doors. He sighed. Lighting a cigarette a friend
offered him, he returned a confused reply to some
question as to whether he could join their party in
the morning. It seemed he did not hear it properly.
He passed through the outer vestibule between the
double glass doors, and went into the night.
The man who asked the question watched him
go, an expression of anxiety momentarily in his eyes.
‘Don’t think he heard you,’ said another,
196 PAN’S GARDEN
laughing. ‘You've got to shout to Hibbert, his
mind’s so full of his work.’
‘He works too hard,’ suggested the first, ‘ full of
queer ideas and dreams.’
But Hibbert’s silence was not rudeness. He had
not caught the invitation, that was all. The call of
the hotel world had faded. He no longer heard it.
Another wilder call was sounding in his ears.
For up the street he had seen a little figure
moving. Close against the shadows of the baker’s
shop it glided—white, slim, enticing.
a |
VI
AND at once into his mind passed the hush and
softness of the snow—yet with it a searching, crying
wildness for the heights. He knew by some
incalculable, swift instinct she would not meet him
in the village street. It was not there, amid
crowding houses, she would speak to him. Indeed,
already she had disappeared, melted from view up
the white vista of the moonlit road. Yonder, he
divined, she waited where the highway narrowed
abruptly into the mountain path beyond the chilets.
It did not even occur to him to hesitate; mad
though it seemed, and was—this sudden craving for
the heights with her, at least for open spaces where
the snow lay thick and fresh—it was too imperious
to be denied. He does not remember going up to
his room, putting the sweater over his evening clothes,
and getting into the fur gauntlet gloves and the
helmet cap of wool. Most certainly he has no
recollection of fastening on his ski; he must have
done it automatically. Some faculty of normal
observation was in abeyance, as it were. His mind
was out beyond the village—out with the snowy
mountains and the moon.
Henri Défago, putting up the shutters over his
café windows, saw him pass, and wondered mildly :
‘Un monsieur qui fait du skia cette heure! II est
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198 PAN’S GARDEN
Anglais, donc... !’ He shrugged his shoulders,
as though a man had the right to choose his own
way of death, And Marthe Perotti, the hunchback
wife of the shoemaker, looking by chance from her
window, caught his figure moving swiftly up the
road. She had other thoughts, for she knew and
believed the old traditions of the witches and snow-
beings that steal the souls of men. She had even
heard, ’twas said, the dreaded ‘ synagogue’ pass roar-
ing down the street at night, and now, as then, she hid
her eyes. ‘They’ve called to him . . . and he must
go,’ she murmured, making the sign of the cross.
But no one sought to stop him. Hibbert recalls
only a single incident until he found himself beyond
the houses, searching for her along the fringe of
forest where the moonlight met the snow in a
bewildering frieze of fantastic shadows. And the
incident was simply this—that he remembered
passing the church. Catching the outline of its
tower against the stars, he was aware of a faint sense
of hesitation. A vague uneasiness came and went—
jarred unpleasantly across the flow of his excited
feelings, chilling exhilaration. He caught the instant’s
discord, dismissed it, and—passed on. The seduction
of the snow smothered the hint before he realised
that it had brushed the skirts of warning.
And then he saw her. She stood there waiting in
a little clear space of shining snow, dressed all in
white, part of the moonlight and the glistening
background, her slender figure just discernible.
‘I waited, for I knew you would come,’ the
silvery little voice of windy beauty floated down to
him. ‘You had to come.’
‘I’m ready,’ he answered, ‘I knew it too.’
The world of Nature caught him to its heart in
THE GLAMOUR OF THE SNOW 199
those few words—the wonder and the glory of the
night and snow. Life leaped within him. The
passion of his pagan soul exulted, rose in joy, flowed
out to her. He neither reflected nor considered,
but let himself go like the veriest schoolboy in the
wildness of first love.
Gives wme?) yout: hand,’;:hezo.cnied,+ Slim
Coming iisiy et”
‘A little farther on, a little higher,’ came her
delicious answer. ‘ Here it is too near the village—
and the church.’
And the words seemed wholly right and natural ;
he did not dream of questioning them; he under-
stood that, with this little touch of civilisation
in sight, the familiarity he suggested was impossible.
Once out upon the open mountains, ’mid the freedom
of huge slopes and towering peaks, the stars and
moon to witness and the wilderness of snow to
watch, they could taste an innocence of happy
intercourse free from the dead conventions that
imprison literal minds,
He urged his pace, yet did not quite overtake
her. The girl kept always just a little bit ahead of
his best efforts. . . . And soon they left the trees
behind and passed on to the enormous slopes
of the sea of snow that rolled in mountainous terror
and beauty to the stars. The wonder of the white
world caught him away. Under the steady moon-
light it was more than haunting. It was a living,
white, bewildering power that deliciously confused
the senses and laid a spell of wild perplexity
upon the heart. It was a personality that cloaked,
and yet revealed, itself through all this sheeted
whiteness of snow. It rose, went with him, fled
before, and followed after. Slowly it dropped lithe,
200 PAN’S GARDEN
gleaming arms about his neck, gathering him
rhs EA
Certainly some soft persuasion coaxed his very
soul, urging him ever forwards, upwards, on towards
the higher icy slopes. Judgment and reason left
their throne, it seemed, completely, as in the
madness of intoxication. The girl, slim and seductive,
kept always just ahead, so that he never quite came
up with her. He saw the white enchantment of her
face and figure, something that streamed about her
neck flying like a wreath of snow in the wind, and
heard the alluring accents of her whispering voice
that called from time totime: ‘A little farther on,
a little higher. . . . Then we'll run home together ! ’
Sometimes he saw her hand stretched out to find
his own, but each time, just as he came up with her, he
saw her still in front, the hand and arm withdrawn.
They took a gentle angle of ascent. The toil
seemed nothing. In this crystal, wine-like air
fatigue vanished. The sishing of the ski through
the powdery surface of the snow was the only sound
that broke the stillness; this, with his breathing
and the rustle of her skirts, was all he heard. Cold
moonshine, snow, and silence held the world. The
sky was black, and the peaks beyond cut into it like
frosted wedges of iron and steel. Far below the
valley slept, the village long since hidden out of
sight. He felt that he could never tire. . . . The
sound of the church clock rose from time to time
faintly through the air—more and more distant.
‘Give me your hand. It’s time now to turn
back.’
‘Just one more slope,’ she laughed. ‘That ridge
above us. Then we’ll make for home. And her
low voice mingled pleasantly with the purring of
THE GLAMOUR OF THE SNOW 201
their ski. His own seemed harsh and ugly by
comparison.
‘But I have never come so high before. ° It’s
glorious! This world of silent snow and moon-
light—and you. You're a child of the snow, I swear.
Let me come up—closer—to see your face—and
touch your little hand.’
Her laughter answered him.
‘Come on! A little higher. Here we're quite
alone together.’
‘It’s magnificent,’ he cried. ‘But why did you
hide away so long? I’ve looked and searched for
you in vain ever since we skated "he was going
to say ‘ten days ago,’ but the accurate memory of time
had gone from him ; he was not sure whether it was
days or years or minutes. His thoughts of earth
were scattered and confused.
‘You looked for me in the wrong places,’ he
heard her murmur just above him. ‘You looked in
places where I never go. Hotels and houses kill
me. I avoid them.’ She laughed—a fine, shrill,
windy little laugh.
‘I loathe them too
He stopped. The girl had suddenly come quite
close. A breath of ice passed through his very soul.
She had touched him.
‘But this awful cold!’ he cried out, sharply, ‘ this
freezing cold that takes me. The wind is rising ;
it’s a wind of ice. Come, let us turn. . .!’
But when he plunged forward to hold her, or at
least to look, the girl was gone again. And some-
thing in the way she stood there a few feet beyond,
and stared down into his eyes so steadfastly in silence,
made him shiver. The moonlight was behind her,
but in some odd way he could not focus sight upon
’
202 PAN’S GARDEN
her face, although so close. The gleam of eyes he
caught, but all the rest seemed white and snowy as
though he looked beyond her—out into space... .
The sound of the church bell came up faintly
from the valley far below, and he counted the
strokes—five. A sudden, curious weakness seized
him as he listened. Deep within it was, deadly yet
somehow sweet, and hard to resist. He felt like
sinking down upon the snow and lying there... .
They had been climbing for five hours.... It
was, of course, the warning of complete exhaustion.
With a great effort he fought and overcame it.
It passed away as suddenly as it came.
‘We'll turn,’ he said with a decision he hardly
felt. ‘It will be dawn before we reach the village
again. Come at once. It’s time for home.’
The sense of exhilaration had utterly left him.
An emotion that was akin to fear swept coldly
through him. But her whispering answer turned it
instantly to terror—a terror that gripped him
horribly and turned him weak and unresisting. |
‘Our home is—fere!’ A burst of wild, high
laughter, loud and shrill, accompanied the words.
It was like a whistling wind. The wind had risen,
and clouds obscured the moon. ‘A little higher—
where we cannot hear the wicked bells,’ she cried,
and for the first time seized him deliberately by the
hand. She moved, was suddenly close against his
face. Again she touched him.
And Hibbert tried to turn away in escape, and
so trying, found for the first time that the power of
the snow—that other power which does not ex-
hilarate but deadens effort—was upon him. The
suffocating weakness that it brings to exhausted
men, luring them to the sleep of death in her cling- —
THE GLAMOUR OF THE SNOW 203
ing soft embrace, lulling the will and conquering all
desire for life—this was awfully upon him. His
feet were heavy and entangled. He could not turn
or move.
The girl stood in front of him, very near ; he felt
her chilly breath upon his cheeks; her hair passed
blindingly across his eyes; and that icy wind came
with her. He saw her whiteness close; again, it
seemed, his sight passed through her into space as
though she had no face. Her arms were round his
neck. She drew him softly downwards to his knees.
He sank ; he yielded utterly ; he obeyed. Her weight
was upon him, smothering, delicious. The snow was
to his waist. . . . She kissed him softly on the lips,
the eyes, all over his face. And then she spoke his
name in that voice of love and wonder, the voice
that held the accent of two others—both taken over
long ago by Death—the voice of his mother, and of
the woman he had loved.
He made one more feeble effort to resist. Then,
realising even while he struggled that this soft weight
about his heart was sweeter than anything life could
ever bring, he let his muscles relax, and sank back
into the soft oblivion of the covering snow. Her
wintry kisses bore him into sleep.
VII
Tey say that men who know the sleep of exhaus-
tion in the snow find no awakening on the hither
side of death. . . . The hours passed and the
moon sank down below the white world’s rim.
Then, suddenly, there came a little crash upon his
breast and neck, and Hibbert—woke.
He slowly turned bewildered, heavy eyes upon
the desolate mountains, stared dizzily about him,
tried to rise. At first his muscles would not act;
a numbing, aching pain possessed him. He uttered
a long, thin cry for help, and heard its faintness
swallowed by the wind. And then he understood
vaguely why he was only warm—not dead. For
this very wind that took his cry had built up a
sheltering mound of driven snow against his body while
he slept. Likea curving wave it ran beside him. It
was the breaking of its over-toppling edge that
caused the crash, and the coldness of the mass
against his neck that woke him.
Dawn kissed the eastern sky; pale gleams of
gold shot every peak with splendour ; but ice was
in the air, and the dry and frozen snow blew
like powder from the surface of the slopes. He
saw the points of his ski projecting just below
him. Then he—remembered. It seems he had
just strength enough to realise that, could he but
rise and stand, he might fly with terrific impetus
204
THE GLAMOUR OF THE SNOW 205
towards the woods and village far beneath. The ski
would carry him. But if he failed and fell . . . !
How he contrived it Hibbert never knew; this
fear of death somehow called out his whole available
reserve force. He rose slowly, balanced a moment,
then, taking the angle of an immense zigzag, started
down the awful slopes like an arrow from a bow.
And automatically the splendid muscles of the
practised ski-er and athlete saved and guided him,
for he was hardly conscious of controlling either
speed or direction. The snow stung face and eyes
like fine steel shot ; ridge after ridge flew past ; the
summits raced across the sky; the valley leaped
up with bounds to meet him. He scarcely felt
the ground beneath his feet as the huge slopes and
distance melted before the lightning speed of that
descent from death to life.
He took it in four mile-long zigzags, and it was
the turning at each corner that nearly finished him,
for then the strain of balancing taxed to the verge
of collapse the remnants of his strength.
Slopes that have taken hours to climb can be
descended in a short half-hour on ski, but Hibbert
had lost all count of time. Quite other thoughts
and feelings mastered him in that wild, swift dropping
through the air that was like the flight of a bird.
For ever close upon his heels came following forms
and voices with the whirling snow-dust. He heard
that little silvery voice of death and laughter at his
back. Shrill and wild, with the whistling of the
wind past his ears, he caught its pursuing tones ; but
in anger now, no longer soft and coaxing. And it
was accompanied; she did not follow alone. It
seemed a host of these flying figures of the snow
chased madly just behind him. He felt them furi-
ea
206 PAN’S GARDEN
ously smite his neck and cheeks, snatch at his hands
and try to entangle his feet and ski in drifts. His
eyes they blinded, and they caught his breath away.
The terror of the heights and snow and winter
desolation urged him forward in the maddest race
with death a human being ever knew; and so
terrific was the speed that before the gold and
crimson had left the summits to touch the ice-lips of
the lower glaciers, he saw the friendly forest far
beneath swing up and welcome him.
And it was then, moving slowly along the edge of
the woods, he saw a light. A man was carrying it.
A procession of human figures was passing in a dark
line laboriously through the snow. And—he heard
the sound of chanting.
Instinctively, without a second’s hesitation, he
changed his course. No longer flying at an angle as
before, he pointed his ski straight down the
mountain-side. The dreadful steepness did not
frighten him. He knew full well it meant a
crashing tumble at the bottom, but he also knew it
meant a doubling of his speed—with safety at the
end. For, though no definite thought passed
through his mind, he understood that it was the
village curé who carried that little gleaming lantern
in the dawn, and that he was taking the Host to a
chalet on the lower slopes—to some peasant in
extremis. He remembered her terror of the church
and bells. She feared the holy symbols.
There was one last wild cry in his ears as he
started, a shriek of the wind before his face, and a
rush of stinging snow against closed eyelids—and
then he dropped through empty space. Speed took
sight from him. It seemed he flew off the surface of
the world.
THE GLAMOUR OF THE SNOW 207
Indistinctly he recalls the murmur of men’s
voices, the touch of strong arms that lifted him, and
the shooting pains as the ski were unfastened from
the twisted ankle . . . for when he opened his eyes
again to normal life he found himself lying in his
bed at the post office with the doctor at his side.
But for years to come the story of ‘mad Hibbert’s’
ski-ing at night is recounted in that mountain village.
He went, it seems, up slopes, and to a height that no
man in his senses ever tried before. The tourists
were agog about it for the rest of the season, and
the very same day two of the bolder men went over
the actual ground and photographed the slopes.
Later Hibbert saw these photographs. He noticed
one curious thing about them—though he did not
mention 1t to any one:
There was only a single track.
CHAMPERY.
; ‘need ge
a4
_ THE RETURN
4
THE RETURN
Ir was curious—that sense of dull uneasiness that
came over him so suddenly, so stealthily at first he
scarcely noticed it, but with such marked increase
after a time that he presently got up and left the
theatre. His seat was on the gangway of the dress
circle, and he slipped out awkwardly in the middle of
what seemed to be the best and jolliest song of the
piece. The full house was shaking with laughter ;
so infectious was the gaiety that even strangers
turned to one another as much as to say : ‘Now,
isn't that funny—— ?’
It was curious, too, the way the feeling first got
into him at all, here in the full swing of laughter,
music, light-heartedness, for it came as a vague
suggestion: ‘I’ve forgotten something—something I
meant to do—something of importance. What in the
world was it, now?’ And he thought hard, searching
vainly through his mind; then dismissed it as the
dancing caught his attention. It came back a little
later again, during a passage of long-winded talk that
bored him and set his attention free once more, but
came more strongly this time, insisting on an answer.
What could it have been that he had overlooked, left
undone, omitted to see to? It went on nibbling at
the subconscious part of him. Several times this
happened, this dismissal and return, till at last the
213
214 PAN’S GARDEN
thing declared itself more plainly —and he felt
bothered, troubled, distinctly uneasy.
He was wanted somewhere. ‘There was some-
where else he ought to be. That describes it best,
perhaps. Some engagement of moment had entirely
slipped his memory—an engagement that involved
another person, too. But where, what, with whom? ~
And, at length, this vague uneasiness amounted to.
positive discomfort, so that he felt unable to enjoy
the piece—and left abruptly. Like a man to whom
comes suddenly the horrible idea that the match he
lit his cigarette with and flung into the waste-paper
basket on leaving was not really out—a sort of panic
distress—he jumped into a taxi-cab and hurried to
his flat: to find everything in order, of course ; no
smoke, no fire, no smell of burning.
But his evening was spoilt. He sat smoking in
his armchair at home—this business man of forty,
practical in mind, of character some called stolid—
cursing himself for an imaginative fool. It was now
too late to go back to the theatre; the club bored
him; he spent an hour with the evening papers,
dipping into books, sipping a long cool drink;
doing odds and ends about the flat ; ‘I’ll go to bed
early for a change,’ he laughed, but really all the
time fighting—yes, deliberately fighting—this strange
attack of uneasiness that so insidiously grew upwards,
outwards from the buried depths of him that sought
so strenuously to deny it. It never occurred to him
that he was ill. He was zor ill. His health was
thunderingly good. He was robust as a coal-
heaver. |
The flat was roomy, high up on the top floor,
yet in a busy part of town, so that the roar of
trafhc mounted round it like asea. Through the
THE RETURN 216
open windows came the fresh night air of June.
He had never noticed before how sweet the London
night air could be, and that not all the smoke and dust
could smother a certain touch of wild fragrance that
tinctured it with perfume—yes, almost perfume—as of
the country. He swallowed a draught of it as he
stood there, staring out across the tangled world of
roofs and chimney-pots. He saw the procession of
the clouds ; he saw the stars ; he saw the moonlight
falling in a shower of silver spears upon the slates and
wires and steeples. And something in him quickened
—something that had never stirred before.
He turned with a horrid start, for the uneasiness
had of a sudden leaped within him like an animal.
There was some one in the flat.
Instantly, with action, even this slight action, the
fancy vanished ; but, all the same, he switched on
the electric lights and made a search. For it seemed
to him that some one had crept up close behind him
while he stood there watching the Night—some one,
moreover, whose silent presence fingered with unerring
touch both this new thing that had quickened in his
heart and that sense of original deep uneasiness. He
was amazed at himself, angry; indignant that he
could be thus foolishly upset over nothing, yet at the
same time profoundly distressed at this vehement
growth of a new thing in his well-ordered personality.
Growth? He dismissed the word the moment it
occurred to him. But it had occurred to him. It
stayed. While he searched the empty flat, the long
passages, the gloomy bedroom at the end, the little
hall where he kept his overcoats and golf sticks—
it stayed. Growth! It was oddly disquieting.
Growth, to him, involved—though he neither
acknowledged nor recognised the truth perhaps—
216 PAN’S GARDEN
some kind of undesirable changeableness, instability,
unbalance.
Yet, singular as it all was, he realised that the
uneasiness and the sudden appreciation of Beauty that
was so new to him had both entered by the same
door into his being. When he came back to the front
room he noticed that he was perspiring. There were
little drops of moisture on his forehead. And down
his spine ran positively chills—little, faint quivers of
cold. He was shivering.
He lit his big meerschaum pipe, and left the lights
allburning. The feeling that there was something he
had overlooked, forgotten, left undone, had vanished.
Whatever the original cause of this absurd uneasiness
might be—he called it absurd on purpose, because he
now realised in the depths of him that it was really
more vital than he cared about—it was much nearer
to discovery than before. It dodged about just below
the threshold of discovery. It was as close as that.
Any moment he would know what it was: he
would remember. Yes, he would remember. Mean-
while, he was in the right place. No desire to go
elsewhere afflicted him, as in the theatre. Here was
the place, here in the flat.
And then it was, with a kind of sudden burst and
rush—it seemed to him the only way to phrase it— —
memory gave up her dead.
At first he only caught her peeping round the
corner at him, drawing aside a corner of an enormous
curtain, as it were; striving for more complete
entrance as though the mass of it were difficult to
move. But he understood ; he knew ; he recognised.
It was enough for that. An entrance into his being—
heart, mind, soul— was being attempted, and the
entrance, because of his stolid temperament, was
THE RETURN 217
difficult of accomplishment. There was effort, strain.
Something in him had first to be opened up, widened,
made soft and ready as by an operation, before full
entrance could be effected. This much he grasped,
though for the life of him he could not have put it
into words. Also, he knew wo it was that sought an
entrance. Deliberately from himself he withheld the
name. But he knew, as surely as though Straughan
stood in the room and faced him with a knife, saying,
‘Let me in, let me in. I wish you to know I’m
here. I’m clearing a way ...! You recall our
promise ...?
He rose from his chair and went to the open
window again, the strange fear slowly passing.
The cool air fanned his cheeks. Beauty, till now,
had scarcely ever brushed the surface of his soul.
He had never troubled his head about it. It passed
him by, indifferent; and he had ever loathed the
mouthy prating of it on others’ lips. He was
practical ; beauty was for dreamers, for women, for
men who had means and leisure. He had not exactly
scorned it; rather it had never touched his life, to
sweeten, cheer, uplift. Artists for him were like
monks—another sex almost, useless beings who never
helped the world go round. He was for action
always, work, activity, achievement—as he saw them.
He remembered Straughan vaguely—Straughan, the
ever impecunious, friend of his youth, always talking
of colour, sound—mysterious, ineffective things. He
even forgot what they had quarrelled about, if they had
quarrelled at all even; or why they had gone apart
all these years ago. And, certainly, he had forgotten
any promise. Memory, as yet, only peeped round
the corner of that huge curtain at him, tentatively, ’
suggestively, yet—he was obliged to admit it—
218 PAN’S GARDEN
somewhat winningly. He was conscious of this
gentle, sweet seductiveness that now replaced his fear.
And, as he stood now at the open window, peering
over huge London, Beauty came close and smote him
between the eyes. She came blindingly, with her
train of stars and clouds and perfumes. Night,
mysterious, myriad-eyed, and flaming across her sea
of haunted shadows, invaded his heart and shook him
with her immemorial wonder and delight. He found
no words, of course, to clothe the new, unwonted
sensations. He only knew that all his former dread,
uneasiness, distress, and. with them this idea of
‘growth’ that had seemed so repugnant to him,
were merged, swept up, and gathered magnificently
home into a wave of Beauty that enveloped him.
‘See it... and understand,’ ran a secret inner
whisper across his mind. He saw. He under-
stoodoiitno.
He went back and turned the lights out. Then
he took his place again at that open window, drinking
in the night. He saw a new world; a species of in-
toxication heldhim. Hesighed . . . as his thoughts
blundered for expression among words and sentences
that knew him not. But the delight was there,
the wonder, the mystery. He watched, with heart
alternately tightening and expanding, the transfiguring
play of moon and shadow over the sea of buildings.
He saw the dance of the hurrying clouds, the open
patches into outer space, the veiling and unveiling
of that ancient silvery face ; and he caught strange
whispers of the hierophantic, sacerdotal Power that
has echoed down the world since Time began and
dropped strange magic phrases into every poet’s heart
since first ‘God dawned on Chaos ’—the Beauty of
the; Nights 2)
THE RETURN 219
A long time passed—it may have been one hour,
it may have been three—when at length he turned
away and went slowly to his bedroom. A deep peace
lay over him. Something quite new and blessed had
crept into his life and thought. He could not quite
understand it all. He only knew that it uplifted.
There was no longer the least sign of affliction or
distress. Even the inevitable reaction that, of course,
set in could not destroy that.
And then, as he lay in bed, nearing the borderland
of sleep, suddenly and without any obvious suggestion
to bring it, he remembered another thing. He
remembered the promise. Memory got past the big
curtain for an instant, and showed her face. She
looked into his eyes. It must have been a dozen
years ago when Straughan and he had made that
foolish, solemn promise that whoever died first should
show himself, if possible, to the other.
He had utterly forgotten it—till now. But
Straughan had not forgotten it. The letter came
three weeks later, from India. That very evening
Straughan had died—at nine o’clock. And he had
come back—in the Beauty that he loved.
Cuarinc Cross Roan,
}
i
lin. Se
|
I
As Felix Henriot came through the streets that
January night the fog was stifling, but when he
reached his little flat upon the top floor there came
a sound of wind. Wind was stirring about the
world. It blew against his windows, but at first so
faintly that he hardly noticed it. Then, with an
abrupt rise and fall like a wailing voice that sought
to claim attention, it called him. He peered through
the ‘window into the blurred darkness, listening.
There is no cry in the world like that of the
homeless wind. A vague excitement, scarcely to
be /analysed, ran through his blood. The curtain
of fog waved momentarily aside. Henriot fancied
a sitar peeped down at him.
/‘It will change things a bit—at last,’ he sighed,
settling back into his chair. ‘It will bring move-
nent as
’ Already something in himself had changed... A
restlessness, as of that wandering wind, woke in his
_heart—the desire to be off and away. Other things
could rouse this wildness too: falling water, the
Singing of a bird, an odour of wood-fire, a glimpse
| of winding road. But the cry of wind, always
_ Searching, questioning, travelling the world’s great
routes, remained ever the master-touch. High
longing took his mood in hand. Mid seven
millions he felt suddenly—lonely.
225 Q
226 PAN’S GARDEN
‘I will arise and go now, for always night and day ~
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore ;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements gray,
I hear it in the deep heart’s core.’
He murmured the words over softly to himself.
The emotion that produced Innisfree passed strongly
through him. He too would be over the hills aind far
away. He craved movement, change, adventyre—
somewhere far from shops and crowds and motor-
‘busses. For a week the fog had stifled London.
This wind brought life.
Where should he go? Desire was long; his
purse was short.
He glanced at his books, letters, newspapers.
They had no interest now. Instead he listened,
The panorama of other journeys rolled in colour
through the little room, flying on one another’s
heels. Henriot enjoyed this remembered essence
of his travels more than the travels themselves.
The crying wind brought so many voices, al) of
them seductive : \
There was a soft crashing of waves upon the
Black Sea shores, where the huge Caucasus beckonted
in the sky beyond ; a rustling in the umbrella pines
and cactus at Marseilles; whence magic steamers
start about the world like flying dreams. . He hearal
the plash of fountains upon Mount Ida’s slopes, and.
the whisper of the tamarisk on Marathon. It was
dawn once more upon the Ionian Sea, and he smelt
the perfume of the Cyclades. Blue-veiled islands
melted in the sunshine, and across the dewy lawns
of Tempe, moistened by the spray of many water-
falls, he saw——Great Heavens above !—the dancing of
white forms . . . or was it only mist the sunshine
painted against Pelion? . . . ‘Methought, among
_
a ean
SAND 227
the lawns together, we wandered underneath the
young grey dawn. And multitudes of dense white
fleecy clouds shepherded by the slow, unwilling
evince.”
And then, into his stuffy room, slipped the
singing perfume of a wall-flower on a ruined tower,
and with it the sweetness of hot ivy. He heard
the ‘ yellow bees in the ivy bloom.’ Wind whipped
over the open hills—this very wind that laboured
drearily through the London fog.
And—he was caught. The darkness melted
from the city. The fog whisked off into an azure
sky. The roar of traffic turned into booming of
the sea. There was a whistling among cordage, and
the floor swayed to and fro. He saw a sailor touch
his cap and pocket the two-franc piece. The syren
hooted — ominous sound that had started him on
many a journey of adventure—and the roar of
London became mere insignificant clatter of a child’s
toy carriages.
He loved that syren’s call; there was something
deep and pitiless in it. It drew the wanderers
forth from cities everywhere: ‘Leave your known
world behind you, and come with me for better or
for worse! The anchor is up; it is too late to
change. Only—beware! You shall know curious
things—and alone ! ’
Henriot stirred uneasily in his chair. He turned
with sudden energy to the shelf of guide-books,
maps and time-tables—possessions he most valued
in the whole room. He was a happy-go-lucky,
adventure-loving soul, careless of common standards,
athirst ever for the new and strange.
‘That’s the best of having a cheap flat,’ he
laughed, ‘and no ties in the world. I can turn the
228 PAN’S GARDEN
key and disappear. No one cares or knows—no
one but the thieving caretaker. And he’s long ago
found out that there’s nothing here worth taking !’
There followed then no lengthy indecision.
Preparation was even shorter still. He was always
ready for a move, and his sojourn in cities was but
breathing-space while he gathered pennies for further
wanderings. An enormous kit-bag—sack-shaped,
very worn and dirty—emerged speedily from the
bottom of a cupboard in the wall. It was of limit-
less capacity. The key and padlock rattled in its
depths. Cigarette ashes covered everything while
he stuffed it full of ancient, indescribable garments.
And his voice, singing of those ‘ yellow bees in the
ivy bloom,’ mingled with the crying of the rising
wind about his windows. His restlessness had dis-
appeared by magic.
This time, however, there could be no haunted
Pelion, nor shady groves of Tempe, for he lived
in sophisticated times when money markets regulated
movement sternly. Travelling was only for the
rich ; mere wanderers must pig it. He remembered
instead an opportune invitation to the Desert.
‘Objective’ invitation, his genial hosts had called
it, knowing his hatred of convention. And Helouan
danced into letters of brilliance upon the inner map
of his mind. For Egypt had ever held his spirit
in thrall, though as yet he had tried in vain to
touch the great buried soul of her. The excavators,
the Egyptologists, the archaeologists most of all,
plastered her grey ancient face with labels like hotel
advertisements on travellers’ portmanteaux. They
told where she had come from last, but nothing of
what she dreamed and thought and loved. The heart
of Egypt lay beneath the sand, and the trifling
SAND 229
robbery of little details that poked forth from
tombs and temples brought no true revelation of
her stupendous spiritual splendour. Henriot, in
his youth, had searched and dived among what
material he could find, believing once—or half
believing — that the ceremonial of that ancient
system veiled a weight of symbol that was re-
flected from genuine supersensual knowledge. The
rituals, now taken literally, and so pityingly ex-
plained away, had once been genuine pathways of
approach. But never yet, and least of all in his
previous visits to Egypt itself, had he discovered
one single person, worthy of speech, who caught
at his idea. ‘Curious,’ they said, then turned away
—to go on digging in the sand. Sand smothered
her world to-day. Excavators discovered skeletons.
Museums everywhere stored them—grinning, literal
relics that told nothing.
But now, while he packed and sang, these
hopes of enthusiastic younger days stirred again—
because the emotion that gave them birth was real
and true in him. Through the morning mists upon
the Nile an old pyramid bowed hugely at him across
London roofs: ‘Come,’ he heard its awful whisper
beneath the ceiling, ‘I have things to show you,
and to tell.’ He saw the flock of them sailing the
Desert like weird grey solemn ships that make no
earthly port. And he imagined them as one:
multiple expressions of some single unearthly portent
they adumbrated in mighty form—dead symbols of
some spiritual conception long vanished from the
world. |
‘J mustn't dream like this,’ he laughed, ‘or I
shall get absent-minded and pack fire-tongs instead
of boots. It looks like a jumble sale already!’
230 PAN’S GARDEN
And he stood on a heap of things to wedge them
down still tighter.
But the pictures would not cease. He saw the
kites circling high in the blue air. A couple of
white vultures flapped lazily away over shining miles.
Felucca sails, like giant wings emerging from the
ground, curved towards him from the Nile. The
palm-trees dropped long shadows over Memphis.
He felt the delicious, drenching heat, and the
Khamasin, that over-wind from Nubia, brushed his
very cheeks. In the little gardens the mish-mish
was in bloom. . . . He smelt the Desert . . . grey
sepulchre of cancelled cycles. . . . The stillness
of her interminable reaches dropped down upon old
Londons? 4
The magic of the sand stole round him in its
silent-footed tempest. 3
And while he struggled with that strange, capacious
sack, the piles of clothing ran into shapes of gleaming
Bedouin faces; London garments settled down with
the mournful sound of camels’ feet, half drop-
ping wind, half water flowing underground—sound
that old Time has brought over into modern life
and left a moment for our wonder and perhaps our
tears.
He rose at length with the excitement of some
deep enchantment in his eyes. The thought of
Egypt plunged ever so deeply into him, carrying him
into depths where he found it difficult to breathe, so
strangely far away it seemed, yet indefinably familiar.
He lost his way. A touch of fear came with it.
‘A sack like that is the wonder of the world,’ he
laughed again, kicking the unwieldy, sausage-shaped
monster into a corner of the room, and sitting
down to write the thrilling labels: ‘ Felix Henriot,
SAND 231
Alexandria via Marseilles.” But his pen blotted the
letters ; there was sand in it. He rewrote the words. |
Then he remembered a dozen things he had left out.
Impatiently, yet with confusion somewhere, he stuffed
them in. They ran away into shifting heaps; they
disappeared ; they emerged suddenly again. It was
like packing hot, dry, flowing sand. From the
pockets of a coat—he had worn it last summer down
Dorset way—out trickled sand. There was sand in
his mind and thoughts.
And his dreams that night were full of winds, the
old sad winds of Egypt, and of moving, sifting sand.
Arabs and Afreets danced amazingly together across
dunes he could never reach. For he could not
follow fast enough. Something infinitely older than
these ever caught his feet and held him back. A
million tiny fingers stung and pricked him. Some-
thing flung a veil before his eyes. Once it touched
him—his face and hands and neck. ‘Stay here with
us, he heard a host of muffled voices crying, but
their sound was smothered, buried, rising through the
ground. A myriad throats were choked. ‘Till, at
last, with a violent effort he turned and seized it.
And then the thing he grasped at slipped between his
fingers and ran easily away. It had a grey and
yellow face, and it moved through all its parts. It
flowed as water flows, and yet was solid. It was
centuries old.
He cried out to it. ‘Who are you? What ts
your name? I surely know you... but I have
forgotten. . . 2"
And it stopped, turning from far away its great
uncovered countenance of nameless colouring. He
caught a voice. It rolled and boomed and whispered
like the wind. And then he woke, with a curious
232 PAN’S GARDEN
shaking in his heart, and a little touch of chilly
perspiration on the skin.
But the voice seemed in the room still—close
beside him :
‘I am the Sand,’ he heard, before it died away.
And next he realised that the glitter of Paris lay
behind him, and a steamer was taking him with much
unnecessary motion across a sparkling sea towards
Alexandria. Gladly he saw the Riviera fade below
the horizon, with its hard bright sunshine, treacherous
winds, and its smear of rich, conventional English.
All restlessness now had left him. True vagabond
still at forty, he only felt the unrest and discomfort of
life when caught in the network of routine and rigid
streets, no chance of breaking loose. He was off
again at last, money scarce enough indeed, but the
joy of wandering expressing itself in happy emotions
of release. Every warning of calculation was stifled.
He thought of the American woman who walked out
of her Long Island house one summer’s day to look
at a passing sail—and was gone eight years before
she walked in again. Eight years of roving travel !
He had always felt respect and admiration for that
woman.
For Felix Henriot, with his admixture of foreign
blood, was philosopher as well as vagabond, a strong
poetic and religious strain sometimes breaking out
through fissures in his complex nature. He had seen
much life; had read many books. ‘The passionate
desire of youth to solve the world’s big riddles had
given place to a resignation filled to the brim with
wonder. Anything mzght be true. Nothing sur-
prised him. The most outlandish beliefs, for all he
knew, might fringe truth somewhere. He had escaped
SAND 228
that cheap cynicism with which disappointed men
soothe their vanity when they realise that an intelligible
explanation of the universe lies beyond their powers.
He no longer expected final answers.
For him, even the smallest journeys held the spice
of some adventure; ail minutes were loaded with
enticing potentialities. And they shaped for them-
selves somehow a dramatic form. ‘It’s like a story,’
his friends said when he told his travels. It always
was a Story.
But the adventure that lay waiting for him where
the silent streets of little Helouan kiss the great
Desert’s lips, was of a different kind to any Henriot
had yet encountered. Looking back, he has often
asked himself, ‘ How in the world can I accept it ?’
And, perhaps, he never yet has accepted it. It
was sand that brought it. For the Desert, the
stupendous thing that mothers little Helouan, pro-
duced it.
IT
He slipped through Cairo with the same relief that
he left the Riviera, resenting its social vulgarity so
close to the imperial aristocracy of the Desert ; he
settled down into the peace of soft and silent little
Helouan. The hotel in which he had a room on the
top floor had been formerly a Khedivial Palace. It
had the air of a palace still. He felt himself in a
country-house, with lofty ceilings, cool and airy
corridors, spacious halls. Soft-footed Arabs attended
to his wants ; white walls let in light and air without
a sign of heat ; there was a feeling of a large, spread
tent pitched on the very sand; and the wind that
stirred the oleanders in the shady gardens also crept in
to rustle the palm leaves of his favourite corner seat.
Through the large windows where once the Khedive
held high court, the sunshine blazed upon vistaed
leagues of Desert.
And from his bedroom windows he watched the
sun dip into gold and crimsom behind the swelling
Libyan sands. ‘This side of the pyramids he saw the
Nile meander among palm groves and tilled fields.
Across his balcony railings the Egyptian stars trooped
down beside his very bed, shaping old constellations
for his dreams; while, to the south, he looked out
upon the vast untamable Body of the sands that
carpeted the world for thousands of miles towards
Upper Egypt, Nubia, and the dread Sahara itself.
234
SAND 235
He wondered again why people thought it necessary
to go so far afield to know the Desert. Here, within
half an hour of Cairo, it lay breathing solemnly at his
very doors.
For little Helouan, caught thus between the
shoulders of the Libyan and Arabian Deserts, is
utterly sand-haunted. The Desert lies all round it
like a sea. Hienriot felt he never could escape from
it, as he moved about the island whose coasts are
washed with sand. Down each broad and shining
street the two end houses framed a vista of its dim
immensity—glimpses of shimmering blue, or flame-
touched purple. There were stretches of deep sea-
green as well, far off upon its bosom. The streets
were open channels of approach, and the eye ran
down them as along the tube of a telescope laid to
catch incredible distance out of space. Through
them the Desert reached in with long, thin feelers
towards the village. Its Being flooded into Helouan,
and over it. Past walls and houses, churches and
hotels, the sea of Desert pressed in silently with its
myriad soft feet of sand. It poured in everywhere,
through crack and slit and crannie. These were
reminders of possession and ownership. And every
passing wind that lifted eddies of dust at the street
corners were messages from the quiet, powerful
Thing that permitted Helouan to lie and dream
so peacefully in the sunshine. Mere artificial oasis,
its existence was temporary, held on lease, just for
ninety-nine centuries or so.
This sea idea became insistent. For, in certain
lights, and especially in the brief, bewildering dusk,
the Desert rose—swaying towards the small white
houses. The waves of it ran for fifty miles without
a break. It was too deep for foam or surface agita-
236 PAN’S GARDEN
tion, yet it knew the swell of tides. And underneath
flowed resolute currents, linking distance to the centre.
These many deserts were really one. A storm, just
retreated, had tossed Helouan upon the shore and
left it there to dry ; but any morning he would wake
to find it had been carried off again into the depths.
Some fragment, at least, would disappear. The grim
Mokattam Hills were rollers that ever threatened to
topple down and submerge the sandy bar that men
called Helouan.
Being soundless, and devoid of perfume, the
Desert’s message reached him through two senses
only—sight and touch; chiefly, of course, the former.
Its invasion was concentrated through the eyes. And
vision, thus uncorrected, went what pace it pleased.
The Desert played with him. Sand stole into his
being—through the eyes.
And so obsessing was this majesty of its close
presence, that Henriot sometimes wondered how
people dared their little social activities within its
very sight and hearing ; how they played golf and
tennis upon reclaimed edges of its face, picnicked so
blithely hard upon its frontiers, and danced at night
while this stern, unfathomable Thing lay breathing
just beyond the trumpery walls that kept it out. The
challenge of their shallow admiration seemed pre-
sumptuous, almost provocative. Their pursuit of
pleasure suggested insolent indifference. They ran
fool-hardy hazards, he felt ; for there was no worship
in their vulgar hearts. With a mental shudder,
sometimes he watched the cheap tourist horde go
laughing, chattering past within view of its ancient,
half-closed eyes. It was like defying deity.
For, to his stirred imagination the sublimity of
the Desert dwarfed humanity. These people had
SAND 237
been wiser to choose another place for the flaunting
of their tawdry insignificance. Any minute this
Wilderness, ‘huddled in grey annihilation,’ might
awake and notice them. . .!
In his own hotel were several ‘smart,’ so-called
‘Society ’ people who emphasised the protest in him
to the point of definite contempt. Overdressed, the
latest worldly novel under their arms, they strutted
the narrow pavements of their tiny world, immensely
pleased with themselves. Their vacuous minds ex-
pressed themselves in the slang of their exclusive
circle—value being the element excluded. The petti-
ness of their outlook hardly distressed him—he was
too familiar with it at home—but their essential
vulgarity, their innate ugliness, seemed more than
usually offensive in the grandeur of its present setting.
Into the mighty sands they took the latest London
scandal, gabbling it over even among the Tombs and
Temples. And ‘it was to laugh,’ the pains they
spent wondering whom they might condescend to
know, never dreaming that they themselves were not
worth knowing. Against the background of the
noble Desert their titles seemed the cap and bells of
clowns.
And Henriot, knowing some of them personally,
could not always escape their insipid company. Yet
he was the gainer. They little guessed how their
commonness heightened contrast, set mercilessly thus
beside the strange, eternal beauty of the sand.
Occasionally the protest in his soul betrayed itself
in words, which of course they did not understand.
'iie- is’ so’ clever, isn't’ he?’ “And then, having
relieved his feelings, he would comfort himself
characteristically :
‘The Desert has not noticed them. The Sand is
238 PAN’S GARDEN
not aware of their existence. How should the sea
take note of rubbish that lies above its tide-line?’
For Henriot drew near to its great shifting altars
in an attitude of worship. The wilderness made him
kneel in heart. Its shining reaches led to the oldest
Temple in the world, and every journey that he made
was like a sacrament. For him the Desert was a
consecrated place. It was sacred.
And his tactful hosts, knowing his peculiarities,
left their house open to him when he cared to come
—they lived upon the northern edge of the oasis—
and he was as free as though he were absolutely alone.
He blessed them; he rejoiced that he had come.
Little Helouan accepted him. The Desert knew that —
he was there.
From his corner of the big dining-room he could
see the other guests, but his roving eye always re-
turned to the figure of a solitary man who sat at an
adjoining table, and whose personality stirred his
interest. While affecting to look elsewhere, he
studied him as closely as might be. There was some-
thing about the stranger that touched his curiosity—
a certain air of expectation that he wore. But it was
more than that: it was anticipation, apprehension in
it somewhere. The man was nervous, uneasy. His
restless way of suddenly looking about him proved
it. Henriot tried every one else in the room as well ;
but, though his thought settled on others too, he
always came back to the figure of this solitary being
opposite, who ate his dinner as if afraid of being seen,
and glanced up sometimes as if fearful of being
watched. Hlenriot’s curiosity, before he knew it,
became suspicion. There was mystery here. The
table, he noticed, was laid for two.
SAND 239
‘Is he an actor, a priest of some strange religion,
an enquiry agent, or just—a crank ?’ was the thought
that first occurred to him. And the question suggested
itself without amusement. The impression of sub-
terfuge and caution he conveyed left his observer
unsatisfied. |
The face was clean shaven, dark, and strong ;
thick hair, straight yet bushy, was slightly unkempt ;
it was streaked with grey; and an unexpected
mobility when he smiled ran over the features that
he seemed to hold rigid by deliberate effort. ‘The
man was cut to no quite common measure. Henriot
jumped to an intuitive conclusion: ‘He’s not
here for pleasure or merely sight-seeing. Something
serious has brought him out to Egypt.’ For the
face combined too ill-assorted qualities : an obstinate
tenacity that might even mean brutality, and was
certainly repulsive, yet, with it, an undecipherable
dreaminess betrayed by lines of the mouth, but above
all in the very light blue eyes, so rarely raised. Those
eyes, he felt, had looked upon unusual things ;
‘dreaminess” was not an adequate description ;
‘searching’ conveyed it better. he true source of
the queer impression remained elusive. And hence,
perhaps, the incongruous marriage in the face —
mobility laid upon a matter-of-fact foundation under-
neath. The face showed conflict.
And Henriot, watching him, felt decidedly in-
trigued. ‘I'd like to know that man, and all about
him.’ His name, he learned later, was Richard Vance;
from Birmingham; a business man. But it was not
the Birmingham he wished to know; it was the—
other: cause of the elusive, dreamy searching.
Though facing one another at so short a distance,
their eyes, however, did not meet. And this, Henriot
240 PAN’S GARDEN
well knew, was a sure sign that he himself was also
under observation. Richard Vance, from Birmingham,
was equally taking careful note of Felix Henriot,
from London.
Thus, he could wait his time. They would come
together later. An opportunity would certainly
present itself. The first links in a curious chain had
already caught ; soon the chain would tighten, pull
as though by chance, and bring their lives into one
and the same circle. Wondering in particular for
what kind of a companion the second cover was
laid, Henriot felt certain that their eventual coming
together was inevitable. He possessed this kind of
divination from first impressions, and not uncommonly -
it proved correct.
Following instinct, therefore, he took no steps
towards acquaintance, and for several days, owing to
the fact that he dined frequently with his hosts, he
saw nothing more of Richard Vance, the business
man from Birmingham. Then, one night, coming
home late from his friend’s house, he had passed along
the great corridor, and was actually a step or so into
his bedroom, when a drawling voice sounded close
behind him. It was an unpleasant sound. It was
very near him too
‘I beg your pardon, but have you, by any chance,
such a thing as a compass you could lend me?’
The voice was so close that he started. Vance
stood within touching distance of his body. He had
stolen up like a ghostly Arab, must have followed
him, too, some little distance, for further down the
passage the light of an open door—he had passed it
on his way—showed where he came from.
‘Eh? Ibeg your pardon? A—compass, did you
say?’ He felt disconcerted for a moment. How
SAND 241
short the man was, now that he saw him standing.
Broad and powerful too. Henriot looked down upon
his thick head of hair. The personality and voice
repelled him. Possibly his face, caught unawares,
betrayed this. )
‘Forgive my startling you,’ said the other
apologetically, while the softer expression danced in
for a moment and disorganised the rigid set of the
face. ‘The soft carpet, you know. I’m afraid you
didn’t hear my tread. I wondered ’—he smiled again
slightly at the nature of the request—‘if—by any
chance—you had a pocket compass you could lend
me ?’
‘Ah, a compass, yes! Please don’t apologise. I
believe I have one—if you'll wait a moment. Come
in, won't you? I'll have a look.’
The other thanked him but waited in the passage.
Henriot, it so happened, had a compass, and produced
it after a moment’s search.
‘lam greatly indebted to you—if I may return
itin the morning. You will forgive my disturbing
you at such an hour. My own is broken, and I
wanted—-er—to find the true north.’
Henriot stammered some reply, and the man was
gone. It was all over in a minute. He locked his
door and sat down in his chair to think. The little
incident had upset him, though for the life of him
he could not imagine why. It ought by rights to
have been almost ludicrous, yet instead it was the
exact reverse—half threatening. Why should not a
man want a compass?’ But, again, why should he?
And at midnight? The voice, the eyes, the near
presence—what did they bring that set his nerves -
thus asking unusual questions? This strange impres-
sion that something grave was happening, something
5 R
242 PAN’S GARDEN
unearthly —how was it born exactly? The man’s
proximity came like a shock. It had made him
start. He brought—thus the idea came unbidden
to his mind—something with him that galvanised
him quite absurdly, as fear does, or delight, or great
wonder. ‘There was a music in his voice too—a
certain—well, he could only call it lilt, that reminded
him of plainsong, intoning, chanting. Drawling was
not the word at all.
He tried to dismiss it as imagination, but it
would not be dismissed. The disturbance in himself
was caused by something not imaginary, but real.
And then, for the first time, he discovered that the
man had brought a faint, elusive suggestion of per-
fume with him, an aromatic odour, that made him
think of priests and churches. The ghost of it still
lingered in the air. Ah, here then was the origin of
the notion that his voice had chanted: it was surely
the suggestion of incense. But incense, intoning, a
compass to find the true north—at midnight in a
Desert hotel !
A touch of uneasiness ran through the curiosity
and excitement that he felt.
And he undressed for bed. ‘Confound my old
imagination, he thought, ‘what tricks it plays me!
It’ll keep me awake !’
But the questions, once started in his mind, con-
tinued. He must find explanation of one kind or
another before he could lie down and sleep, and he
found it at length in—the stars. The man was an
astronomer of sorts; possibly an astrologer into the
bargain! Why not? The stars were wonderful
above Helouan. Was there not an observatory on
the Mokattam Hills, too, where tourists could use
the telescopes on privileged days? He had it at
SAND 243
last. He even stole out on to his balcony to see if
the stranger perhaps was looking through some
wonderful apparatus at the heavens, Their rooms
were on the same side. But the shuttered windows
revealed no stooping figure with eyes glued to a
telescope. The stars blinked in their many thousands
down upon the silent desert. The night held neither
sound nor movement. There was a cool breeze
blowing across the Nile from the Lybian Sands. It
nipped ; and he stepped back quickly into the room
again. Drawing the mosquito curtains carefully
about the bed, he put the light out and turned over
to sleep.
And sleep came quickly, contrary to his expecta-
tions, though it was a light and surface sleep. That
last glimpse of the darkened Desert lying beneath
the Egyptian stars had touched him with some hand
of awful power that ousted the first, lesser excitement.
It calmed and soothed him in one sense, yet in another,
a sense he could not understand, it caught him in a
net of deep, deep feelings whose mesh, while infinitely
delicate, was utterly stupendous. His nerves this
deeper emotion left alone: it reached instead to
something infinite in him that mere nerves could
neither deal with nor interpret. The soul awoke and
whispered in him while his body slept.
And the little, foolish dreams that ran to iad fro
across this veil of surface sleep brought oddly tangled
pictures of things quite tiny and at the same time of
others that were mighty beyond words. With these
two counters Nightmare played. They interwove.
There was the figure of this dark-faced man with the
compass, measuring the sky to find the true north,
and there were hints of giant Presences that hovered
just outside some curious outline that he traced upon
244 PAN’S GARDEN
the ground, copied in some nightmare fashion from
the heavens. The excitement caused by his visitor’s
singular request mingled with the profounder sensa-
tions his final look at the stars and Desert stirred.
The two were somehow inter-related.
Some hours later, before this surface sleep passed
into genuine slumber, Henriot woke—with an appal-
ling feeling that the Desert had come creeping into
his room and now stared down upon him where he
lay in bed. The wind was crying audibly about the
walls outside. A faint, sharp tapping came against
the window panes.
He sprang instantly out of bed, not yet awake
enough to feel actual alarm, yet with the nightmare
touch still close enough to cause a sort of feverish,
loose bewilderment. He switched the lights on. A
moment later he knew the meaning of that curious
tapping, for the rising wind was flinging tiny
specks of sand against the glass. The idea that
they had summoned him belonged, of course, to
dream.
He opened the window, and stepped out on to the
balcony. The stone was very cold under his bare
feet. There was a wash of wind all over him. He
saw the sheet of glimmering, pale desert near and
far ; and something stung his skin below the eyes.
‘The sand,’ he whispered, ‘again the sand;
always the sand. Waking or sleeping, the sand 1S
everywhere—nothing but sand, sand, Sand.
He rubbed his eyes. It was like talking in his
sleep, talking to Someone who had questioned him
just before he woke. But was he really properly
awake ? It seemed next day that he had dreamed it.
Something enormous, with rustling skirts of sand,
had just retreated far into the Desert. Sand went
SAND 24.5
with it—flowing, trailing, smothering the world.
The wind died down.
And Henriot went back to sleep, caught instantly
away into unconsciousness ; covered, blinded, swept
over by this spreading thing of reddish brown with
the great, grey face, whose Being was colossal yet
quite tiny, and whose fingers, wings and eyes were
countless as the stars.
But all night long it watched and waited, rising to
peer above the little balcony, and sometimes entering
the room and piling up beside his very pillow. He
dreamed of Sand.
Il]
For some days Henriot saw little of the man who
came from Birmingham and pushed curiosity to a
climax by asking for a compass in the middle of the
night. For one thing, he was a good deal with his
friends upon the other side of Helouan, and for
another, he slept several nights in the Desert.
He loved the gigantic peace the Desert gave him.
The world was forgotten there; and not the world
merely, but all memory of it. Everything faded out.
The soul turned inwards upon itself.
An Arab boy and donkey took out sleeping-bag,
food and water to the Wadi Hof, a desolate gorge
about an hour eastwards. It winds between cliffs
whose summits rise some thousand feet above the sea.
It opens suddenly, cut deep into the swaying world
of level plateaux and undulating hills. It moves
about too; he never found it in the same place
twice—like an arm of the Desert that shifted with
the changing lights. Here he watched dawns and
sunsets, slept through the mid-day heat, and enjoyed
the unearthly colouring that swept Day and Night
across the huge horizons. In solitude the Desert
soaked down into him. At night the jackals cried in
the darkness round his cautiously-fed camp fire—
small, because wood had to be carried—and in the
day-time kites circled overhead to inspect him, and an
246
SAND 247
occasional white vulture flapped across the blue.
The weird desolation of this rocky valley, he thought,
was like the scenery of the moon. He took no watch
with him, and the arrival of the donkey boy an hour
after sunrise came almost frem another planet, bring-
ing thing of time and common life out of some distant
gulf where they had lain forgotten among lost ages.
The short hour of twilight brought, too, a be-
witchment into the silence that was a little less
than comfortable. Full light or darkness he could
manage, but this time of half things made him want
to shut his eyes and hide. Its effect stepped over
imagination. The mind got lost. He could not
understand it. For the cliffs and boulders of dis-
coloured limestone shone then with an inward glow
that signalled to the Desert with veiled lanterns.
The misshappen hills, carved by wind and rain into
ominous outlines, stirred and nodded. In the morning
light they retired into themselves, asleep. But at
dusk the tide retreated. They rose from the sea,
emerging naked, threatening. They ran together
and joined shoulders, the entire army of them. And
the glow of their sandy bodies, self-luminous, con-
tinued even beneath the stars. Only the moonlight
drowned it. For the moonrise over the Mokattam
Hills brought a white, grand loveliness that
drenched the entire Desert. It drew a marvellous
sweetness from the sand. It shone across a world as
yet unfinished, whereon no life might show itself for
ages yet to come. He was alone then upon an empty
star, before the creation of things that breathed and
moved.
What impressed him, however, more than every-
thing else was the enormous vitality that rose out of ‘
all this apparent death. There was no hint of the
248 PAN’S GARDEN
melancholy that belongs commonly to flatness ; the
sadness of wide, monotonous landscape was not here.
The endless repetition of sweeping vale and plateau
brought infinity within measurable comprehension.
He grasped a definite meaning in the phrase ‘ world
without end’: the Desert had no end and no begin-
ning. It gave hima sense of eternal peace, the silent
peace that star-fields know. Instead of subduing the
soul with bewilderment, it inspired with courage,
confidence, hope. Through this sand which was the
wreck of countless geological ages, rushed life that
was terrific and uplifting, too huge to include
melancholy, too deep to betray itself in movement.
Here was the stillness of eternity. Behind the
spread grey masque of apparent death lay stores of
accumulated life, ready to break forth at any point.
In the Desert he felt himself absolutely royal.
And this contrast of Life, veiling itself in Death,
was a contradiction that somehow intoxicated. The
Desert exhilaration never left him. He was never
alone. A companionship of millions went with him,
and he fe/t the Desert close, as stars are close to one
another, or grains of sand.
It was the Khamasin, the hot wind bringing sand,
that drove him in—with the feeling that these few days
and nights had been immeasurable, and that he had
been away a thousand years. He came back with
the magic of the Desert in his blood, hotel-life taste-
less and insipid by comparison. To human impres-
sions thus he was fresh and vividly sensitive. His
being, cleaned and sensitized by pure grandeur, ‘ felt ’
people—for a time at any rate—with an uncommon
sharpness of receptive judgment. He returned to
a life somehow mean and meagre, resuming in-
significance with his dinner jacket. Out with the
SAND 249
sand he had been regal; now, like a slave, he strutted
self-concious and reduced.
But this imperial standard of the Desert stayed a
little time beside him, its purity focussing judgment
like a lens. ‘The specks of smaller emotions left it
clear at first, and as his‘eye wandered vaguely over
the people assembled in the dining-room, it was
arrested with a vivid shock upon two figures at the
little table facing him.
He had forgotten Vance, the Birmingham man
who sought the North at midnight with a pocket
compass. He now saw him again, with an intuitive
discernment entirely fresh. Before memory brought
up her clouding associations, some brilliance flashed
a light upon him. ‘That man,’ Henriot thought,
‘might have come with me. He would have under-
stood and loved it!’ But the thought was really
this—a moment’s reflection spread it, rather: ‘He
belongs somewhere to the Desert ; the Desert brought
him out here.’ And, again, hidden swiftly behind it
like a movement running below water—‘ What does
he want with it? What is the deeper motive he
conceals ? For there is a deeper motive ; and it 2s
concealed.’
But it was the woman seated next him who
absorbed his attention really, even while this thought
flashed and went its way. The empty chair was
occupied at last. Unlike his first encounter with
the man, she looked straight at him. ‘Their eyes met
fully. For several seconds there was steady mutual
inspection, while her penetrating stare, intent without
being rude, passed searchingly all over his face. It
was disconcerting. Crumbling his bread, he looked
equally hard at her, unable to turn away, determined
not to be the first to shift his gaze. And when at
250 PAN’S GARDEN
length she lowered her eyes he felt that many things
had happened, as in a long period of intimate con-
versation. Her mind had judged him through and
through. Questions and answer flashed. They were
no longer strangers. For the rest of dinner, though
he was careful to avoid direct inspection, he was aware
that she felt his presence and was secretly speaking
with him. She asked questions beneath her breath.
The answers rose with the quickened pulses in his
blood. Moreover, she explained Richard Vance. It
was this woman’s power that shone reflected in the
man. She was the one who knew the big, unusual
things. Vance merely echoed the rush of her vital
personality.
This was the first impression that he got—from
the most striking, curious face he had ever seen in a
woman. It remained very near him all through the
meal: she had moved to his table, it seemed she
sat beside him. Their minds certainly knew contact
from that moment.
It is never difficult to credit strangers with the
qualities and knowledge that oneself craves for, and
no doubt Henriot’s active fancy went busily to work.
But, none the less, this thing remained and grew:
that this woman was aware of the hidden things of
Egypt he had always longed to know. There was
knowledge and guidance she could impart. Her
soul was searching among ancient things. Her face
brought the Desert back into his thoughts. And
with it came—the sand. |
Here was the flash. The sight of her restored
the peace and splendour he had left behind him in
his Desert camps. The rest, of course, was what
his imagination constructed upon this slender basis.
Only,—not all of it was imagination.
SAND pass
Now, Henriot knew little enough of women,
and had no pose of ‘understanding’ them. His
experience was of the slightest; the love and
veneration felt for his own mother had set the
entire sex upon the heights. His affairs with
women, if so they may be called, had been transient
—all but those of early youth, which having never
known the devastating test of fulfilment, still re-
mained ideal and superb. There was unconscious
humour in his attitude—from a distance; for he
regarded women with wonder and respect, as
puzzles that sweetened but complicated life, might
even endanger it. He certainly was not a marrying
man! But now, as he felt the presence of this
woman so deliberately possess him, there came over
him two clear, strong messages, each vivid with
certainty. One was that banal suggestion of
familiarity claimed by lovers and the like—he had
often heard of it—‘I have known that woman
before; I have met her ages ago somewhere; she
is strangely familiar to me’ ; and the other, growing
out of it almost: ‘Have nothing to do with her ;
she will bring you trouble and confusion ; avoid
her, and be warned’ ;—in fact, a distinct presenti-
ment.
Yet, although Henriot dismissed both impressions
as having no shred of evidence to justify them, the
original clear judgment, as he studied her extra-
ordinary countenance, persisted through all denials.
The familiarity, and the presentiment, remained.
There also remained this other—-an enormous
imaginative leap!—that she could teach him
‘Egypt.’
He watched her carefully, in a sense fascinated.
He could only describe the face as black, so dark
252 PAN’S GARDEN
it was with the darkness of great age. Elderly was
the obvious, natural word; but elderly described
the features only. The expression of the face wore
centuries. Nor was it merely the coal-black eyes
that betrayed an ancient, age-travelled soul behind
them. The entire presentment mysteriously con-
veyed it. This woman’s heart knew long-forgotten
things—the thought kept beating up against him.
There were cheek-bones, oddly high, that made him
think involuntarily of the well-advertised Pharaoh,
Ramases; a square, deep jaw; and an aquiline
nose that gave the final touch of power. For the
power undeniably was there, and while the general
effect had grimness in it, there was neither harshness
nor any forbidding touch about it. There was an
implacable sternness in the set of lips and jaw, and,
most curious of all, the eyelids over the steady eyes
of black were level as a ruler. This level framing
made the woman’s stare remarkable beyond de-
scription. Henriot thought of an idol carved in
stone, stone hard and black, with eyes that stared
across the sand into a world of things non-human,
very far away, forgotten of men. The face was
finely ugly. ‘This strange dark beauty flashed flame
about it.
And, as the way ever was with him, Henriot
next fell to constructing the possible lives of herself
and her companion, though without much success.
Imagination soon stopped dead. She was not old
enough to be Vance’s mother, and assuredly she was
not his wife. His interest was more than merely
piqued—it was puzzled uncommonly. What was the
contrast that made the man seem beside her—vile ?
Whence came, too, the impression that she exercised
some strong authority, though never directly
SAND 253
exercised, that held him at her mercy? How did
he guess that the man resented it, yet did not dare
oppose, and that, apparently acquiescing good-
humouredly, his will was deliberately held in
abeyance, and that he waited sulkily, biding his
time? There was furtiveness in every gesture and
expression. A hidden motive lurked in him; un-
worthiness somewhere; he was determined yet
ashamed. He watched her ceaselessly and with
such uncanny closeness.
Henriot imagined he divined all this. He
leaped to the guess that his expenses were being
paid. A good deal more was being paid besides.
She was a rich relation, from whom he had expecta-
tions; he was serving his seven years, ashamed of
his servitude, ever calculating escape—but, perhaps,
no ordinary escape. A faint shudder ran over him.
He drew in the reins of imagination.
Of course, the probabilities were that he was
hopelessly astray—one usually is on such occasions
__but this time, it so happened, he was singularly
right. Before one thing only his ready invention
stopped every time. This vileness, this notion of
unworthiness in Vance, could not be negative merely.
A man with that face was no inactive weakling.
The motive he was at such pains to conceal,
betraying its existence by that very fact, moved,
surely, towards aggressive action. Disguised, it never
slept. Vance was sharply on the alert. He had
a plan deep out of sight. And Henriot remembered
how the man’s soft approach along the carpeted
corridor had made him start. He recalled the
quasi shock it gave him. He thought again of the
feeling of discomfort he had experienced.
Next, his eager fancy sought to plumb the
254 PAN’S GARDEN
business these two had together in Egypt—in the
Desert. For the Desert, he felt convinced, had
brought them out. But here, though he constructed
numerous explanations, another barrier stopped him.
Because he knew. This woman was in touch with
that aspect of ancient Egypt he himself had ever
sought in vain; and not merely with stones the sand
had buried so deep, but with the meanings they once
represented, buried so utterly by the sands of later
thought.
And here, being ignorant, he found no clue that
could lead to any satisfactory result, for he possessed
no knowledge that might guide him. He floundered
—until Fate helped him. And the instant Fate
helped him, the warning and presentiment he had
dismissed as fanciful, became real again. He
hesitated. Caution acted. He would think twice
before taking steps to form acquaintance. ‘Better
not,’ thought whispered. ‘Better leave them alone,
this queer couple. They’re after things that won’t
do you any good.’ This idea of mischief, almost
of danger, in their purposes was oddly insistent ;
for what could possibly convey it? But, while he
hesitated, Fate, who sent the warning, pushed him
at the same time into the circle of their lives: at
first tentatively—he might still have escaped ; but
soon urgently—curiosity led him inexorably towards
the end.
IV
Ir was so simple a manceuvre by which Fate began
the innocent game. The woman left a couple of
books behind her on the table one night, and Henriot,
after a moment’s hesitation, took them out after her.
He knew the titles—The House of the Master, and
The House of the Hidden Places, both singular in-
terpretations of the Pyramids that once had held his
own mind spellbound. Their ideas had been since
disproved, if he remembered rightly, yet the titles
were a clue—a clue to that imaginative part of his
mind that was so busy constructing theories and had
found its stride. Loose sheets of paper, covered with
notes in a minute handwriting, lay between the pages ;
but these, of course, he did not read, noticing only
that they were written round designs of various kinds
—intricate designs.
He discovered Vance in a corner of the smoking-
lounge. The woman had disappeared.
Vance thanked him politely. ‘My aunt is so
forgetful sometimes,’ he said, and took them with
a covert eagerness that did not escape the other's
observation. He folded up the sheets and put them
carefully in his pocket. On one there was an ink-
sketched map, crammed with detail, that might well
have referred to some portion of the Desert. The
points of the compass stood out boldly at the bottom.
255
256 PAN’S GARDEN
There were involved geometrical designs again.
Henriot saw them. They exchanged, then, the
commonplaces of conversation, but these led to
nothing further. Vance was nervous and betrayed
impatience. He presently excused himself and left
the lounge. Ten minutes later he passed through
the outer hall, the woman beside him, and the pair
of them, wrapped up in cloak and ulster, went out
into the night. At the door, Vance turned and threw
a quick, investigating glance in his direction. There
seemed a hint of questioning in that glance ; it might
almost have been a tentative invitation. But, also,
he wanted to see if their exit had been particularly
noticed—and by whom.
This, briefly told, was the first manceuvre by
which Fate introduced them. There was nothing
in it. The details were so insignificant, so slight the
conversation, so meagre the pieces thus added to
Henriot’s imaginative structure. Yet they somehow
built it up and made it solid; the outline in his
mind began to stand foursquare. That writing,
those designs, the manner of the man, their going
out together, the final curious look—each and all
betrayed points of a hidden thing. Subconsciously
he was excavating their buried purposes. The sand
was shifting. The concentration of his mind in-
cessantly upon them removed it grain by grain and
speck by speck. Tips of the smothered thing
emerged. Presently a subsidence would follow with
a rush and light would blaze upon its skeleton. He
felt it stirring underneath his feet—this flowing move-
ment of light, dry, heaped-up sand. It was always
—sand.
Then other incidents of a similar kind came
about, clearing the way to a natural acquaintanceship.
cy a
SAND 257
Flenriot watched the process with amusement, yet
with another feeling too that was only a little less
than anxiety. A keen observer, no detail escaped
him; he saw the forces of their lives draw closer.
It made him think of the devices of young people
who desire to know one another, yet cannot get a
proper introduction. Fate condescended to such
little tricks. They wanted a third person, he began
to feel. A third was necessary to some plan they
had on hand, and—they waited to see if he could fil
the place. This woman, with whom he had yet ex-
changed no single word, seemed so familiar to him,
well known for years. They weighed and watched
him, wondering if he would do.
None of the devices were too obviously used, but
at length Henriot picked up so many forgotten
articles, and heard so many significant phrases,
casually let fall, that he began to feel like the
villain in a machine-made play, where the hero for
ever drops clues his enemy is intended to discover.
Introduction followed inevitably. ‘My aunt can
tell you; she knows Arabic perfectly.” He had
been discussing the meaning of some local name or
other with a neighbour after dinner, and Vance had
joined them. The neighbour moved away; these
two were left standing alone, and he accepted a
cigarette from the other’s case. There was a rustle
of skirts behind them. ‘Here she comes,’ said
Vance ; ‘you will let me introduce you.’ He did
not ask for Henriot’s name; he had already taken
the trouble to find it out—another little betrayal, and
another clue.
It was in a secluded corner of the great hall, and
Henriot turned to see the woman’s stately figure
coming towards them across the thick carpet that
S
258 PAN’S GARDEN
deadened her footsteps. She came sailing up, her
black eyes fixed upon his face. Very erect, head
upright, shoulders almost squared, she moved wonder-
fully well; there was dignity and power in her walk.
She was dressed in black, and her face was like the
night. He found it impossible to say what lent her
this air of impressiveness and solemnity that was
almost majestic. But there was this touch of dark-
ness and of power in the way she came that made
him think of some sphinx-like figure of stone, some
idol motionless in all its parts but moving asa whole,
and gliding across—sand. Beneath those level lids
her eyes stared hard at him. And a faint sensation
of distress stirred in him deep, deep down. Where
had he seen those eyes before?
He bowed, as she joined them, and Vance led the
way to the armchairs in a corner of the lounge. The
meeting, as the talk that followed, he felt, were all
part of a preconceived plan. It had happened before.
The woman, that is, was familiar to him—to some
part of his being that had dropped stitches of old,
old memory.
Lady Statham! At first the name had disap-
pointed him. So many folk wear titles, as syllables
in certain tongues wear accents—without them being
mute, unnoticed, unpronounced. Nonentities, born to
names, so often claim attention for their insignificance
in this way. But this woman, had she been Jemima
Jones, would have made the name distinguished and
select. She wasa big and sombre personality. Why
was it, he wondered afterwards, that for a moment
something in him shrank, and that his mind, metaphori-
cally speaking, flung up an arm in self-protection
The instinct flashed and passed. But it seemed to
him born of an automatic feeling that he must
SAND 259
protect—not himself, but the woman from the man.
There was confusion in it all; links were missing.
He studied her intently. She was a woman who
had none of the external feminine signals in either
dress or manner, no graces, no little womanly hesita-
tions and alarms, no daintiness, yet neither anything
distinctly masculine. Her charm was strong, possess-
ing; only he kept forgetting that he was talking toa
—woman; and the thing she inspired in him included,
with respect and wonder, somewhere also this curious
hint of dread. This instinct to protect her fled as
soon as it was born, for the interest of the conversa-
tion in which she so quickly plunged him obliterated
all minor emotions whatsoever. Here, for the first
time, he drew close to Egypt, the Egypt he had
sought so long. It was not to be explained. He
felt it.
Beginning with commonplaces, such as ‘ You like
Egypt? You find here what you expected?’ she
led him into better regions with ‘ One finds here what
one brings.” He knew the delightful experience of
talking fluently on subjects he was at home in, and to
some one who understood. The feeling at first that to
this woman he could not say mere anythings, slipped
into its opposite—that he could say everything.
Strangers ten minutes ago, they were at once in deep
and intimate talk together. He found his ideas
readily followed, agreed with up to a point—the
point which permits discussion to start from a basis
of general accord towards speculation. In the excite-
ment of ideas he neglected the uncomfortable note
that had stirred his caution, forgot the warning too.
Her mind, moreover, seemed known to him ; he was
often aware of what she was going to say before he
actually heard it; the current of her thoughts struck
260 PAN’S GARDEN
a familiar gait, and more than once he experienced
vividly again the odd sensation that it all had happened
before. The very sentences and phrases with which
she pointed the turns of her unusual ideas were never
wholly unexpected.
For her ideas were decidedly unusual, in the sense
that she accepted without question speculations not
commonly deemed worth consideration at all, indeed
not ordinarily even known. MHenriot knew them,
because he had read in many fields. It was the
strength of her belief that fascinated him. She
offered no apologies. She knew. And while he
talked, she listening with folded arms and her black
eyes fixed upon his own, Richard Vance watched with
vigilant eyes and listened too, ceaselessly alert. Vance
joined in little enough, however, gave no opinions, his
attitude one of general acquiescence. Twice, when
pauses of slackening interest made it possible, Henriot
fancied he surprised another quality in this negative
attitude. Interpreting it each time differently, he yet
dismissed both interpretations with a smile. His
imagination leaped so absurdly to violent conclusions.
They were not tenable : Vance was neither her keeper,
nor was he in some fashion a detective. Yet in his
manner was sometimes this suggestion of the detective
order. He watched with such deep attention, and
he concealed it so clumsily with an affectation of
careless indifference.
There is nothing more dangerous than that
impulsive intimacy strangers sometimes adopt when
an atmosphere of mutual sympathy takes them by
surprise, for it is akin to the false frankness friends
affect when telling ‘candidly’ one another’s faults.
The mood is invariably regretted later. Henriot,
however, yielded to it now with something like
SAND 261
abandon. ‘The pleasure of talking with this woman
was so unexpected, and so keen.
For Lady Statham believed apparently in some
Egypt of her dreams. Her interest was neither
historical, archaeological, nor political. It was religious
—yet hardly of this earth at all. The conversation
turned upon the knowledge of the ancient Egyptians
from an unearthly point of view, and even while he
talked he was vaguely aware that it was her mind
talking through his own. She drew out his ideas
and made him say them. But this he was properly
aware of only afterwards—that she had cleverly,
mercilessly pumped him of all he had ever known
or read upon the subject. Moreover, what Vance
watched so intently was himself, and the reactions in
himself this remarkable woman produced. That
also he realised later.
His first impression that these two belonged to
what may be called the ‘crank’ order was justified
by the conversation. But, at least, it was interesting
crankiness, and the belief behind it made it even
fascinating. Long before the end he surprised in
her a more vital form of his own attitude that
anything may be true, since knowledge has never
yet found final answers to any of the biggest
questions.
He understood, from sentences dropped early in
the talk, that she was among those few ‘ superstitious ’
folk who think that the old Egyptians came closer
to reading the eternal riddles of the world than any
others, and that their knowledge was a remnant of
that ancient Wisdom Religion which existed in the
superb, dark civilization of the sunken Atlantis, lost
continent that once joined Africa to Mexico. Eighty
thousand years ago the dim sands of Poseidonis,
262 PAN’S GARDEN
great island adjoining the main continent which itself
had vanished a vast period before, sank down beneath
the waves, and the entire known world to-day was
descended from its survivors. Hence the significant
fact that all religions and ‘mythological’ systems
begin with a story of a flood—some cataclysmic
upheaval that destroyed the world. Egypt itself was
colonised by a group of Atlantean priests who brought
their curious, deep knowledge with them. They had
foreseen the cataclysm.
Lady Statham talked well, bringing into her great
dream this strong, insistent quality of belief and fact.
She knew, from Plato to Donelly, all that the minds
of men have ever speculated upon the gorgeous
legend. The evidence for such a sunken continent—
Henriot had skimmed it too in years gone by—
she made bewilderingly complete. He had heard
Baconians demolish Shakespeare with an array of
evidence equally overwhelming. It catches the
imagination though not the mind. Yet out of her
facts, as she presented them, grew a strange likeli-
hood. The force of this woman’s personality, and
her calm and quiet way of believing all she talked
about, took her listener to some extent—further than
ever before, certainly—into the great dream after
her. And the dream, to say the least, was a
picturesque one, laden with wonderful possibilities.
For as she talked the spirit of old Egypt moved up,
staring down upon him out of eyes lidded so curiously
level. Hitherto all had prated to him of the Arabs,
their ancient faith and customs, and the splendour of
the Bedouins, those Princes of the Desert. But
what he sought, barely confessed in words even to
himself, was something older far than this. And
this strange, dark woman brought it close. Deeps in
SAND 263
his soul, long slumbering, awoke. He heard for-
gotten questions.
Only in this brief way could he attempt to sum
up the storm she roused in him.
She carried him far beyond mere outline, how-
ever, though afterwards he recalled the details with
difficulty. So much more was suggested than
actually expressed. She contrived to make the
general modern scepticism an evidence of cheap
mentality. It was so easy; the depth it affects to
conceal, mere emptiness. ‘ We have tried all things,
and found all wanting’—the mind, as measuring
instrument, merely confessed inadequate. Various
shrewd judgments of this kind increased his respect,
although her acceptance went so far beyond his own.
And, while the label of credulity refused to stick to
her, her sense of imaginative wonder enabled her to
escape that dreadful compromise, a man’s mind in a
woman’s temperament. She fascinated hints
The spiritual worship of the ancient Egyptians,
she held, was a symbolical explanation of things
generally alluded to as the secrets of life and death ;
their knowledge was a remnant of the wisdom of
Atlantis. Material relics, equally misunderstood,
still stood to-day at Karnac, Stonehenge, and in the
mysterious writings on buried Mexican temples and
cities, so significantly akin to the hieroglyphics upon
the Egyptian tombs.
‘The one misinterpreted as literally as the other,
she suggested, ‘yet both fragments of an advanced
knowledge that found its grave in the sea. The
Wisdom of that old spiritual system has vanished
from the world, only a degraded literalism left of
its undecipherable language. The jewel has been -
lost, and the casket is filled with sand, sand, sand.’
264 PAN’S GARDEN
How keenly her black eyes searched his own as
she said it, and how oddly she made the little word
resound. ‘The syllable drew out almost into chanting.
Echoes answered from the depths within him, carrying
it on and on across some desert of forgotten belief.
Veils of sand flew everywhere about his mind.
Curtains lifted. Whole hills of sand went shifting
into level surfaces whence gardens of dim outline
emerged to meet the sunlight.
‘But the sand may be removed.’ It was her
nephew, speaking almost for the first time, and the
interruption had an odd effect, introducing a sharply
practical element. For the tone expressed, so far
as he dared express it, disapproval. It was a baited
observation, an invitation to opinion.
‘We are not sand-diggers, Mr. Henriot,’ put in
Lady Statham, before he decided to respond. ‘Our
object is quite another one; and I believe—I have
a feeling,’ she added almost questioningly, ‘that you
might be interested enough to help us perhaps.’
Fle only wondered the direct attack had not come
sooner. Its bluntness hardly surprised him. He
felt himself leap forward to accept it. A sudden
subsidence had freed his feet.
Then the warning operated suddenly—for an
instant. Henriot was interested ; more, he was half
seduced ; but, as yet, he did not mean to be included
in their purposes, whatever these might be. ‘That
shrinking dread came back a moment, and was gone
again before he could question it. His eyes looked
full at Lady Statham. ‘What is it that you know?’
they asked her. ‘Tell me the things we once knew
together, you and I. These words are merely
trifling. And why does another man now stand in
my place? For the sands heaped upon my memory
SAND 265
are shifting, and it is you who are moving them
away.’
His soul whispered it; his voice said quite
another thing, although the words he used seemed
oddly chosen :
‘There is much in the-ideas of ancient Egypt that
has attracted me ever since I can remember, though
I have never caught up with anything definite enough
to follow. There was majesty somewhere in their
conceptions—a large, calm majesty of spiritual
dominion, one might call it perhaps. I am in-
terested.’
Her face remained expressionless as she listened,
but there was grave conviction in the eyes that held
him like a spell. He saw through them into dim,
faint pictures whose background was always sand.
He forgot that he was speaking with a woman, a
woman who half an hour ago had been a stranger to
him. He followed these faded mental pictures,
though he never caught them up... . It was like
his dream in London.
Lady Statham was talking—he had not noticed
the means by which she effected the abrupt transition
—of familiar beliefs of old Egypt; of the Ka, or
Double, by whose existence the survival of the soul
was possible, even its return into manifested, physical
life ; of the astrology, or influence of the heavenly
bodies upon all sublunar activities ; of terrific forms
of other life, known to the ancient worship of
Atlantis, great Potencies that might be invoked by
ritual and ceremonial, and of their lesser influence
as recognised in certain lower forms, hence treated
with veneration as the ‘Sacred Animal’ branch of
this dim religion. And she spoke lightly of the
modern learning which so glibly imagined it was the
266 PAN’S GARDEN
animals themselves that were looked upon as ‘gods’
—the bull, the bird, the crocodile, the cat. ‘It’s
there they all go so absurdly wrong,’ she said, ‘ taking
the symbol for the power symbolised. Yet natural
enough. The mind to-day wears blinkers, studies
only the details seen directly before it. Had none
of us experienced love, we should think the first
lover mad. Few-to-day know the Powers they knew,
hence deny them. If the world were deaf it would
stand with mockery before a hearing group swayed
by an orchestra, pitying both listeners and performers.
It would deem our admiration of a great swinging
bell mere foolish worship of form and movement.
Similarly, with high Powers that once expressed
themselves in common forms—where best they could
—being themselves bodiless. The learned men
classify the forms with painstaking detail. But deity
has gone out of life. The Powers symbolised are no
longer experienced.’
‘These Powers, you suggest, then—their Kas, as
it were—may still ;
But she waved aside the interruption. ‘They are
satisfied, as the common people were, with a degraded
literalism,’ she went on. ‘Nut was the Heavens,
who spread herself across the earth in the form of
a woman; Shu, the vastness of space; the ibis
typified Thoth, and Hathor was the Patron of the
Western Hills; Khonsu, the moon, was personified,
as was the deity of the Nile. But the high priest of
Ra, the sun, you notice, remained ever the Great One
of Visions.’
The High Priest, the Great One of Visions !—
How wonderfully again she made the sentence sing.
She put splendour into it. The pictures shifted
suddenly closer in his mind. He saw the grandeur of
SAND 267
Memphis and Heliopolis rise against the stars and
shake the sand of ages from their stern old temples.
‘You think it possible, then, to get into touch
with these High Powers you speak of, Powers once
manifested in common forms?’
Henriot asked the question with a degree of
conviction and solemnity that surprised himself.
The scenery changed about him as he listened. ‘The
spacious halls of this former khedivial Palace melted
into Desert spaces. He smelt the open wilderness,
the sand that haunted Helouan. The soft-footed
Arab servants moved across the hall in their white
sheets like eddies of dust the wind stirred from the
Libyan dunes. And over these two strangers close
beside him stole a queer, indefinite alteration.
Moods and emotions, nameless as unknown stars,
rose through his soul, trailing dark mists of memory
from unfathomable distances.
Lady Statham answered him indirectly. He
found himself wishing that those steady eyes would
sometimes close.
‘Love is known only by feeling it,’ she said,
her voice deepening a little. ‘Behind the form you
feel the person loved. The process is an evocation,
pure and simple. An arduous ceremonial, involving
worship and devotional preparation, is the means.
It is a difficult ritual—the only one acknowledged
by the world as still effectual. Ritual is the passage
way of the soul into the Infinite.’
He might have said the words himself. The
thought lay in him while she uttered it. Evocation
everywhere in life was as true as assimilation.
Nevertheless, he stared his companion full in the
eyes with a touch of almost rude amazement. But
no further questions prompted themselves; or,
268 PAN’S GARDEN
rather, he declined to ask them. He recalled,
somehow uneasily, that in ceremonial the points of
the compass have significance, standing for forces
and activities that sleep there until invoked, and a
passing light fell upon that curious midnight request
in the corridor upstairs. These two were on the
track of undesirable experiments, he thought. . . .
They wished to include him too.
‘You go at night sometimes into the Desert 2?” he
heard himself saying. It was impulsive and mis-
calculated. His feeling that it would be wise to
change the conversation resulted in giving it fresh
impetus instead.
‘We saw you there—in the Wadi Hof,’ put in
Vance, suddenly breaking his long silence ; ‘ you too
sleep out, then? It means, you know, the Valley of
Fear.’
‘We wondered—’ It was Lady Statham’s voice,
and she leaned forward eagerly as she said it, then
abruptly left the sentence incomplete. Henriot
started ; a sense of momentary acute discomfort
again ran over him. The same second she continued,
though obviously changing the phrase—‘we wondered
how you spent your day there, during the heat. But
you paint, don’t you? You draw, I mean ?’
The commonplace question, he realised in every
fibre of his being, meant something shey deemed
significant. Was it his talent for drawing that they
sought to use him for? Even as he answered with
a simple affirmative, he had a flash of intuition that
might be fanciful, yet that might be true: that this
extraordinary pair were intent upon some ceremony
of evocation that should summon into actual physical
expression some Power—some type of life—known
long ago to ancient worship, and that they even
SAND 269
sought to fix its bodily outline with the pencil—his
pencil.
A gateway of incredible adventure opened at his
feet. He balanced on the edge of knowing un-
utterable things. Here was a clue that might lead
him towards the hidden Egypt he had ever craved to
know. An awful hand was beckoning. The sands
were shifting. He saw the million eyes of the Desert
watching him from beneath the level lids of centuries.
Speck by speck, and grain by grain, the sand that
smothered memory lifted the countless wrappings
that embalmed it.
And he was willing, yet afraid. Why in the
world did he hesitate and shrink? Why was it that
the presence of this silent, watching personality in
the chair beside him kept caution still alive, with
warning close behind? ‘The pictures in his mind
were gorgeously coloured. It was Richard Vance
who somehow streaked them through with black. A
thing of darkness, born of this man’s unassertive
presence, flitted ever across the scenery, marring its
randeur with something evil, petty, dreadful. He
held a horrible thought alive. His mind was thinking
venal purposes.
In Henriot himself imagination had grown
curiously heated, fed by what had been suggested
rather than actually said. Ideas of immensity crowded
his brain, yet never assumed definite shape. They
were familiar, even as this strange woman was familiar.
Once, long ago, he had known them well; had even
practised them beneath these bright Egyptian stars.
Whence came this prodigious glad excitement in his
heart, this sense of mighty Powers coaxed down to
influence the very details of daily life? Behind them, ©
for all their vagueness, lay an archetypal splendour,
270 - PAN’S GARDEN
fraught with forgotten meanings. He had always
been aware of it in this mysterious land, but it had
ever hitherto eluded him. It hovered everywhere.
He had felt it brooding behind the towering Colossi
at Thebes, in the skeletons of wasted temples, in the
uncouth comeliness of the Sphinx, and in the crude
terror of the Pyramids even. Over the whole of
Egypt hung its invisible wings. These were but
isolated fragments of the Body that might express it.
And the Desert remained its cleanest, truest syrnbol.
Sand knew it closest. Sand might even give it
bodily form and outline.
But, while it escaped description in his mind, as
equally it eluded visualisation in his soul, he felt that
it combined with its vastness something infinitely
small as well. Of such wee particles is the giant
Desert:bornic. sa);
Henriot started nervously in his chair, convicted
once more of unconscionable staring ; and at the
same moment a group of hotel people, returning
from a dance, passed through the hall and nodded —
him good-night. The scent of the women reached
him ; and with it the sound of their voices discussing
personalities just left behind. A London atmo-
sphere came with them. He caught trivial phrases,
uttered in a drawling tone, and followed by the
shrill laughter of a girl. They passed upstairs, dis-
cussing their little things, like marionettes upon a
tiny stage.
But their passage brought him back to things of
modern life, and to some standard of familiar measure-
ment. ‘The pictures that his soul had gazed at so
deep within, he realised, were a pictorial transfer
caught incompletely from this woman’s vivid mind.
He had seen the Desert as the grey, enormous Tomb
SAND 271
where hovered still the Ka of ancient Egypt. Sand
screened her visage with the veil of centuries. But
She was there, and She was living. Egypt herself
had pitched a temporary camp in him, and then
moved on.
There was a momentary break, a sense of abrupt-
ness and dislocation. And then he became aware
that Lady Statham had been speaking for some time
before he caught her actual words, and that a certain
change had come into her voice as also into her
manner.
Vv
SHE was leaning closer to him, her face suddenly
glowing and alive. Through the stone figure
coursed the fires of a passion that deepened the
coal-black eyes and communicated a hint of light
—of exaltation—to her whole person. It was in-
credibly moving. To this deep passion was due the
power he had felt. It was her entire life ; ‘she lived
for it, she would die for it. Her calmness of manner
enhanced its effect. Hence the strength of those first
impressions that had stormed him. The woman had
belief ; however wild and strange, it was sacred to
her. The secret of her influence was—conviction.
His attitude shifted several points then. The
wonder in him passed over into awe. The things
she knew were real. They were not merely
imaginative speculations.
‘I knew I was not wrong in thinking you in
sympathy with this line of thought,’ she was saying
in lower voice, steady with earnestness, and as
though she had read his mind. ‘You, too, know,
though perhaps you hardly realise that you know.
It lies so deep in you that you only get vague feelings
of it—intimations of memory. Isn’t that the case °’
Henriot gave assent with his eyes; it was the
truth.
‘What we know instinctively,’ she continued,
272
SAND 274
‘is simply what we are trying to remember. Know-
ledge is memory.’ She paused a moment watching
his face closely. ‘At least, you are free from that
cheap scepticism which labels these old beliefs as
superstition.’ It was not even a question.
‘I—worship real belief—of any kind,’ he
stammered, for her words and the close proximity
of her atmosphere caused a strange upheaval in his
heart that he could not account for. He faltered
in his speech. ‘It is the most vital quality in life
—rarer than deity.’ He was using her own phrases
even. ‘It is creative. It constructs the world
anew-———
‘And may reconstruct the old.’
She said it, lifting her face above him a little, so that
her eyes looked down into his own. It grew big and
somehow masculine. It was the face of a priest,
spiritual power init. Where, oh where in the echoing
Past had he known this woman’s soul? He saw her
in another setting, a forest of columns dim about
her, towering above giant aisles. Again he felt the
Desert had come close. Into this tent-like hall of
the hotel came the sifting of tiny sand. It heaped
softly about the very furniture against his feet,
blocking the exits of door and window. It
shrouded the little present. The wind that brought
it stirred a veil that had hung for ages motion-
188.5)
She had been saying many things that he had
missed while his mind went searching. ‘There
were types of life the Atlantean system knew it
might revive-—life unmanifested to-day in any
bodily form,’ was the sentence he caught with his
return to the actual present.
‘A type of life?’ he whispered, looking about
e
274 PAN’S GARDEN
him, as though to see who it was had joined them ;
‘you mean a—soul? Some kind of soul, alien to
humanity, or to—to any forms of living thing in
the world to-day?’ What she had been saying
reached him somehow, it seemed, though he had
not heard the words themselves. Still hesitating,
he was yet so eager to hear. Already he felt she
meant to include him in her purposes, and that in
the end he must go willingly. So strong was her
persuasion on his mind.
And he felt as if he knew vaguely what was
coming. Before she answered his curious question
— prompting it indeed—rose in his mind that
strange idea of the Group-Soul: the theory that
big souls cannot express themselves in a single
individual, but need an entire group for their full
manifestation.
He listened intently. The reflection that this
sudden intimacy was unnatural, he rejected, for many
conversations were really gathered into one. Long
watching and preparation on both sides had cleared
the way for the ripening of acquaintance into con-
fidence—how long he dimly wondered? But if
this conception of the Group-Soul was not new,
the suggestion Lady Statham developed out of it
was both new and startling—and yet always so
curiously familiar. Its value for him lay, not in
far-fetched evidence that supported it, but in the
deep belief which made it a vital asset in an honest
inner life.
‘An individual,’ she said quietly, ‘one soul
expressed completely in a single person, I mean,
is exceedingly rare. Not often is a physical instru-
ment found perfect enough to provide it with
adequate expression. In the lower ranges of
SAND 2G
humanity—certainly in animal and insect life—one
soul is shared by many. Behind a tribe of savages
stands one Savage. A flock of birds is a single
Bird, scattered through the consciousness of all.
They wheel in mid-air, they migrate, they obey
the deep intelligence called instinct—all as one.
The life of any one lion is the life of all—the lion
group-soul that manifests itself in the entire genus.
An ant-heap is a single Ant; through the bees
spreads the consciousness of a single Bee.’
Henriot knew what she was working up to. In
his eagerness to hasten disclosure he interrupted——_—
‘And there may be types of life that have no
corresponding bodily expression at all, then?’ he
asked as though the question were forced out of
him. ‘They exist as Powers—unmanifested on
the earth to-day ?’
‘Powers,’ she answered, watching him closely
with unswerving stare, ‘that need a group to
provide their body—their physical expression— if
they came back.’
‘Came back !’ he repeated below his breath.
But she heard him. < They once had expression.
Egypt, Atlantis knew them—spiritual Powers that
never visit the world to-day.’
‘Bodies,’ he whispered softly, ‘actual bodies?’
‘Their sphere of action, you see, would be their
body. And it might be physical outline. So
potent a descent of spiritual life would select
materials for its body where it could find them. Our
conventional notion of a body—what is it? A
single outline moving altogether in one direction.
For little human souls, or fragments, this is
sufficient. But for vaster types of soul an entire
host would be required.’
276 PAN’S GARDEN
‘A church?’ he ventured. ‘Some Body of
belief, you surely mean? ’
She bowed her head a moment in assent. She
was determined he should seize her meaning fully.
‘A wave of spiritual awakening—a descent of
spiritual life upon a nation,’ she answered slowly,
‘forms itself a church, and the body of true believers
are its sphere of action. They are literally its bodily
expression. Each individual believer is a corpuscle
in that Body. The Power has provided itself with
a vehicle of manifestation. Otherwise we could not
know it. And the more real the belief of each
individual, the more perfect the expression of the
spiritual life behind them all. A Group-soul walks
the earth. Moreover, a nation naturally devout
could attract a type of soul unknown to a nation
that denies all faith. Faith brings back the gods.
. But to-day belief is dead, and Deity has left
the world.’
She talked on and on, developing this main idea
that in days of older faiths there were deific types
of life upon the earth, evoked by worship and
béneficial to humanity. They had long ago with-
drawn because the worship which brought them
down had died the death. The world had grown
pettier. These vast centres of Spiritual Power
found no ‘Body’ in which they now could express
themselves or manifest. . . . Her thoughts and
phrases poured over him like sand. It was always
sand he felt—burying the Present and uncovering
the asta
He tried to steady his mind upon familiar objects,
but wherever he looked Sand stared him in the face.
Outside these trivial walls the Desert lay listening.
It lay waiting too. Vance himself had dropped out
SAND 277
of recognition. He belonged to the world of things
to-day. But this woman and himself stood thousands
of years away, beneath the columns of a Temple in
the sands. And the sands were moving. His feet
went shifting with them .. . running down vistas
of ageless memory that woke terror by their sheer
immensity of distance. . . .
Like a muffled voice that called to him through
many veils and wrappings, he heard her describe the
stupendous Powers that evocation might coax down
again among the world of men.
‘To what useful end ?’ he asked at length, amazed
at his own temerity, and because he knew instinctively
the answer in advance. It rose through these layers
of coiling memory in his soul.
‘The extension of spiritual knowledge and the
widening of life,’ she answered. ‘The link with the
‘unearthly kingdom” wherein this ancient system
went forever searching, would be re-established.
Complete rehabilitation might follow. Portions—
little portions of these Powers—expressed themselves
naturally once in certain animal types, instinctive life
that did not deny or reject them. The worship of
sacred animals was the relic of a once gigantic system
of evocation—not of monsters,’ and she smiled sadly,
‘but of Powers that were willing and ready to
descend when worship summoned them.’
Again, beneath his breath, Henriot heard him-
self murmur—his own voice startled him as he
whispered it: ‘Actual bodily shape and outline?’
‘Material for bodies is everywhere,’ she answered,
equally low ; ‘dust to which we all return ; sand, if
you prefer it, fine, fine sand. Life moulds it easily
enough, when that life is potent.’
A certain confusion spread slowly through his
278 PAN’S GARDEN
mind as he heard her. He lit a cigarette and smoked
some minutes in silence. Lady Statham and her
nephew waited for him to speak. At length, after
some inner battling and hesitation, he put the
question that he knew they waited for. It was
impossible to resist any longer.
‘It would be interesting to know the method,’ he
said, ‘and to revive, perhaps, by experiment
Before he could complete his thought, she took
him up:
‘There are some who claim to know it,’ she said
gravely—her eyes a moment masterful. ‘A clue,
thus followed, might lead to the entire reconstruction
I spoke of.’
‘And the method?’ he repeated faintly.
‘Evoke the Power by ceremonial evocation—the
ritual is obtainable—and note the form it assumes.
Then establish it. This shape or outline once secured,
could then be made permanent—a mould for its
return at will—its natural physical expression here
on earth.’
‘Idol!’ he exclaimed.
‘Image,’ she replied at once. ‘Life, before we
can know it must have a body. Our souls, in order
to manifest here, need a material vehicle.’
‘ And—to obtain this form or outline ?’ he began ;
‘to fix it, rather?’
‘Would be required the clever pencil of a fearless
looker-on—some one not engaged in the actual
evocation. This form, accurately made permanent
in solid matter, say in stone, would provide a
channel always open. Experiment, properly speaking,
might then begin. The cisterns of Power behind
would be accessible.’
_ ©An amazing proposition!’ Henriot exclaimed.
SAND 279
What surprised him was that he felt no desire to
laugh, and little even to doubt.
‘Yet known to every religion that ever deserved
the name,’ put in Vance like a voice from a distance.
Blackness came somehow with his interruption—a
touch of darkness. He spoke eagerly.
To all the talk that followed, and there was much
of it, Henriot listened with but half an ear. This
one idea stormed through him with an uproar that
killed attention. Judgment was held utterly in
abeyance. He carried away from it some vague
suggestion that this woman had hinted at previous
lives she half remembered, and that every year she
came to Egypt, haunting the sands and temples in
the effort to recover lost clues. And he recalled
afterwards that she said, ‘This all came to me as
a child, just as though it was something half
remembered.’ There was the further suggestion
that he himself was not unknown to her; that
they, too, had met before. But this, compared to
the grave certainty of the rest, was merest fantasy
that did not hold his attention. He answered,
hardly knowing what he said. His preoccupation
with other thoughts deep down was so intense, that
he was probably barely polite, uttering empty phrases,
with his mind elsewhere. His one desire was to
escape and be alone, and it was with genuine relief
that he presently excused himself and went upstairs
to bed. The halls, he noticed, were empty; an
Arab servant waited to put the lights out. He
walked up, for the lift had long ceased running.
And the magic of old Egypt stalked beside him.
The studies that had fascinated his mind in earlier
youth returned with the power that had subdued his
mind in boyhood. The cult of Osiris woke in his
280 PAN’S GARDEN
blood again; Horus and Nephthys stirred in their
long-forgotten centres. There revived in him, too
long buried, the awful glamour of those liturgal
rites and vast body of observances, those spells and
formulae of incantation of the oldest known rescension
that years ago had captured his imagination and
belief—the Book of the Dead. Trumpet voices
called to his heart again across the desert of some
dim past. There were forms of life—impulses from
the Creative Power which is the Universe—other
than the soul of man. They could be known. A
spiritual exaltation, roused by the words and presence
of this singular woman, shouted to him as he went.
Then, as he closed his bedroom door, carefully
locking it, there stood beside him—Vance. The
forgotten figure of Vance came up close—the
watching eyes, the simulated interest, the feigned
belief, the detective mental attitude, these broke
through the grandiose panorama, bringing darkness.
Vance, strong personality that hid behind assumed
nonentity for some purpose of his own, intruded
with sudden violence, demanding an explanation of
his presence.
And, with an equal suddenness, explanation offered
itself then and there. It came unsought, its horror
of certainty utterly unjustified ; and it came in this
unexpected fashion :
Behind the interest and acquiescence of the man
ran—fear: but behind the vivid fear ran another
thing that Henriot now perceived was vile. For
the first time in his life, Henriot knew it at close
quarters, actual, ready to operate. Though familiar
enough in daily life to be of common occurrence,
Henriot had never realised it as he did now, so close
and terrible. In the same way he had never realised
SAND 281
that he would die—vanish from the busy world of
men and women, forgotten as though he had never
existed, an eddy of wind-blown dust. And in the
man named Richard Vance this thing was close upon
blossom. Henriot could not name it to himself.
Even in thought it appalled him.
He undressed hurriedly, almost with the child’s
idea of finding safety between the sheets. His
mind undressed itself as well. The business of the
day laid itself automatically aside; the will sank
down ; desire grew inactive. Henriot was exhausted.
But, in that stage towards slumber when thinking
stops, and only fugitive pictures pass across the mind —
in shadowy dance, his brain ceased shouting its
mechanical explanations, and his soul unveiled a
peering eye. Great limbs of memory, smothered by
the activities of the Present, stirred their stiffened
lengths through the sands of long ago—sands this
woman had begun to excavate from some far-off
pre-existence they had surely known together.
Vagueness and certainty ran hand in hand. Details
were unrecoverable, but the emotions in which they
were embedded moved.
He turned restlessly in his bed, striving to seize
the amazing clues and follow them. But deliberate
effort hid them instantly again; they retired in-
stantly into the subconsciousness. With the brain
of this body he now occupied they had nothing to
do. The brain stored memories of each life only.
This ancient script was graven in his soul. Subcon-
sciousness alone could interpret and reveal. And it
was his subconscious memory that Lady Statham had
been so busily excavating.
Dimly it stirred and moved about the depths
282 PAN’S GARDEN
within him, never clearly seen, indefinite, felt as a
yearning after unrecoverable knowledge. Against
the darker background of Vance’s fear and sinister
purpose—both of this present life, and recent—he
saw the grandeur of this woman’s impossible dream,
and kuew, beyond argument or reason, that it was
true. Judgment and will asleep, he left the im-
possibility aside, and took the grandeur. The
Belief of Lady Statham was not credulity and super-
stition ; it was Memory. Still to this day, over the
sands of Egypt, hovered immense spiritual potencies,
so vast that they could only know physical expression
in a group—in many. Their sphere of bodily
manifestation must be a host, each individual unit
in that host a corpuscle in the whole.
The wind, rising from the Lybian wastes across
the Nile, swept up against the exposed side of the
hotel, and made his windows rattle—the old, sad
winds of Egypt. Henriot got out of bed to fasten
the outside shutters. He stood a moment and
watched the moon floating down behind the Sakkara
Pyramids. The Pleiades and Orion’s Belt hung
brilliantly ; the Great Bear was close to the horizon.
In the sky above the Desert swung ten thousand
stars. No sounds rose from the streets of Helouan.
The tide of sand was coming slowly in.
And a flock of enormous thoughts swooped past
him from fields of this unbelievable, lost memory.
The Desert, pale in the moon, was coextensive with
the night, too huge for comfort or understanding,
yet charged to the brim with infinite peace. Behind
its majesty of silence lay whispers of a vanished
language that once could call with power upon
mighty spiritual Agencies. Its skirts were folded
now, but, slowly across the leagues of sand, they
SAND 283
began to stir and rearrange themselves. He grew
suddenly aware of this enveloping shroud of sand—
as the raw material of bodily expression : Form.
The sand was in his imagination and his mind.
Shaking loosely the folds of its gigantic skirts, it
rose ; it moved a little towards him. He saw the
eternal countenance of the Desert watching him—
immobile and unchanging behind these shifting veils
the winds laid so carefully over it. Egypt, the
ancient Egypt, turned in her vast sarcophagus of
Desert, wakening from her sleep of ages at the
Belief of approaching worshippers.
Only in this insignificant manner could he express
a letter of the terrific language that crowded to seek
expression through his soul. . . . He closed the
shutters and carefully fastened them. He turned
to go back to bed, curiously trembling. Then, as.
he did so, the whole singular delusion caught him
with a shock that held him motionless. Up rose
the stupendous apparition of the entire Desert and
stood behind him on that balcony. Swift as
thought, in silence, the Desert stood on end against
his very face. It towered across the sky, hiding
Orion and the moon ; it dipped below the horizons.
The whole grey sheet of it rose up before his eyes
and stood. Through its unfolding skirts ran ten
thousand eddies of swirling sand as the creases of its
rave-clothes smoothed themselves out in moonlight.
And a bleak, scarred countenance, huge as a planet,
gazed down into his own... . .
Through his dreamless sleep that night two ©
things lay active and awake . . . in the subconscious
part that knows no slumber. They were in-
congruous. One was evil, small and human ; the
other unearthly and sublime. For the memory of
284 PAN’S GARDEN
the fear that haunted Vance, and the sinister cause
of it, pricked at him all night long: But behind,
beyond this common, intelligible emotion, lay the
crowding wonder that caught his soul with glory :
The Sand was stirring, the Desert was awake.
Ready to mate with them in material form, brooded
close the Ka of that colossal Entity that once
expressed itself through the myriad life of ancient
Egypt.
VI
Next day, and for several days following, Henriot
kept out of the path of Lady Statham and her
nephew. The acquaintanceship had grown too
rapidly to be quite comfortable. It was easy to
pretend that he took people at their face value, but
it was a pose; one liked to know something of
antecedents. It was otherwise difficult to ‘place’
them. And Henriot, for the life of him, could not
‘place’ these two. His Subconsciousness brought
explanation when it came—but the Subconsciousness
is only temporarily active. When it retired he
floundered without a rudder, in confusion.
With the flood of morning sunshine the value of
much she had said evaporated. Her presence alone
had supplied the key to the cipher. But while the
indigestible portions he rejected, there remained a
good deal he had already assimilated. The dis-
comfort remained; and with it the grave, unholy
reality of it all. It was something more than theory.
Results would follow—if he joined them. He would
witness curious things.
The force with which it drew him brought
hesitation. It operated in him like a shock that
numbs at first by its abrupt arrival, and needs time
to realise in the right proportions to the rest of life.
These right proportions, however, did not come
readily, and his emotions ranged between sceptical
285
286 PAN’S GARDEN
laughter and complete acceptance. ‘The one detail
he felt certain of was this dreadful thing he had
divined in Vance. Trying hard to disbelieve it, he
found he could not. It was true. Though without
a shred of real evidence to support it, the horror of |
it remained. He knew it in his very bones.
And this, perhaps, was what drove him to seek —
the comforting companionship of folk he understood
and felt at home with. He told his host and hostess
about the strangers, though omitting the actual con-
versation because they would merely smile in blank
miscomprehension. But the moment he described
the strong black eyes beneath the level eyelids, his
hostess turned with a start, her interest deeply
roused: ‘Why, it’s that awful Statham woman,’
she exclaimed, ‘that must be Lady Statham, and the
man she calls her nephew.’
‘Sounds like it, certainly,’ her husband added.
‘Felix, you’d better clear out. They’ll bewitch you
too.’
And Henriot bridled, yet wondering why he did
so. He drew into his shell a little, giving the
merest sketch of what had happened. But he
listened closely while these two practical old friends
supplied him with information in the gossiping way
that human nature loves. No doubt there was
much embroidery, and more perversion, exaggeration
too, but the account evidently rested upon some
basis of solid foundation for all that. Smoke and
fire go together always.
‘He is her nephew right enough,’ Mansfield
corrected his wife, before proceeding to his own
man’s form of elaboration ; ‘no question about that,
I believe. He’s her favourite nephew, and she’s as
rich as a pig. He follows her out here every year,
SAND 287
waiting for her empty shoes. But they are an
unsavoury couple. I’ve met ’em in various parts,
all over Egypt, but they always come back to
Helouan in the end. And the stories about them
are simply legion. You remember—’ he turned
hesitatingly to his wife—‘some people, I heard,’ he
changed his sentence, ‘ were made quite ill by her.’
‘Pm sure Felix ought to know, yes,’ his wife
boldly took him up, ‘my niece, Fanny, had the most
extraordinary experience.’ She turned to Henriot.
‘ Her room was next to Lady Statham in some hotel
or other at Assouan or I:dfu, and one night she
woke and heard a kind of mysterious chanting or
intoning next her. Hotel doors are so dreadfully
thin. There was a funny smell too, like incense of
something sickly, and a man’s voice kept chiming in.
It went on for hours, while she lay terrified in bed
‘Frightened, you say?’ asked Henriot.
‘Out of her skin, yes; she said it was so uncanny
—made her feel icy. She wanted to ring the bell,
but was afraid to leave her bed. The room was full
of—of things, yet she could see nothing. She /e/t
them, you see. And after a bit the sound of this
sing-song voice so got on her nerves, it half dazed
her—a kind of enchantment—she felt choked and
suffocated. And then It was her turn to
hesitate. |
‘Tell it all,’ her husband said, quite gravely too.
‘Well—something camein. At least,she describes
it oddly, rather; she said it made the door bulge
inwards from the next room, but not the door alone ;
the walls bulged or swayed as if a huge thing pressed
against them from the other side. And at the same
moment her windows—she had two big balconies,
and the venetian shutters were fastened—both her
288 PAN’S GARDEN
windows darkened—though it was two in the morning
and pitch dark outside. She said it was all one thing
—trying to get in; just as water, you see, would
rush in through every hole and opening it could
find, and all at once. And in spite of her terror—
that’s the odd part of it—she says she felt a kind of
splendour in her—a sort of elation.’
‘She saw nothing ?’
‘She says she doesn’t remember. Her senses left
her, I believe—though she won’t admit it.’
‘Fainted for a minute, probably,’ said Mansfield.
‘So there it is,’ his wife concluded, after a silence.
‘And that’s true. It happened to my niece, didn't
it, John ?’
Stories and legendary accounts of strange things
that the presence of these two brought poured out
then. They were obviously somewhat mixed, one
account borrowing picturesque details from another,
and all in disproportion, as when people tell stories
in a language they are little familiar with. But,
listening with avidity, yet also with uneasiness, some-
how, Henriot put two and two together. Truth
stood behind them somewhere. These two held
trafic with the powers that ancient Egypt knew.
‘Tell Felix, dear, about the time you met the
nephew—horrid creature—in the Valley of the Kings,
he heard his wife say presently. And Mansfield told
it plainly enough, evidently glad to get it done,
though.
‘It was some years ago now, and I didn’t know
who he was then, or anything about him. I don’t
know much more now—except that he’s a dangerous
sort of charlatan-devil, J think. But I came across
him one night up there by Thebes in the Valley of
the Kings—you know, where they buried all their
SAND 289
Johnnies with so much magnificence and processions
and masses, and all the rest. It’s the most astounding,
the most haunted place you ever saw, gloomy,
silent, full of gorgeous lights and shadows that
seem alive—terribly impressive; it makes you
creep and shudder. You feel old Egypt watching
ou.
: ‘Get on, dear,’ said his wife.
‘Well, I was coming home late on a blasted lazy
donkey, dog-tired into the bargain, when my donkey
boy suddenly ran for his life and left me alone. It
was after sunset. “The sand was red and shining, and
the big cliffs sort of fiery. And my donkey stuck
its four feet in the ground and wouldn’t budge.
Then, about fifty yards away, I saw a fellow—
European apparently—doing something— Heaven
knows what, for I can’t describe it—-among the
boulders that lie all over the ground there. Ceremony,
I suppose you'd call it. I was so interested that at
first I watched. Then I saw he wasn’t alone. There
were a lot of moving things round him, towering big
things, that came and went like shadows. ‘That
twilight is fearfully bewildering ; perspective changes,
and distance gets all confused. It’s fearfully hard to
see properly. I only remember that I got off my
donkey and went up closer, and when I was within
a dozen yards of him—well, it sounds such rot, you
know, but I swear the things suddenly rushed off
and left him there alone. They went with a roaring
noise like wind; shadowy but tremendously big,
they were, and they vanished up against the fiery
precipices as though they slipped bang into the stone
itself. The only thing I can think of to describe
"em is—vwell, those sand-storms the Khamasin
raises—the hot winds, you know.’
U
290 PAN’S GARDEN
‘They probably were sand,’ his wife suggested,
burning to tell another story of her own.
‘Possibly, only there wasn’t a breath of wind,
and it was hot as blazes—and—I had such extra-
ordinary sensations—never felt anything like it before
—wild and exhilarated—drunk, I tell you, drunk.’
‘You saw them?’ asked Henriot. ‘You made
out their shape at all, or outline?’
‘Sphinx,’ he replied at once, ‘for all the world
like sphinxes. You know the kind of face and head
these limestone strata in the Desert take — great
visages with square Egyptian head-dresses where the
driven sand has eaten away the softer stuff beneath?
You see it everywhere—enormous idols they seem,
with faces and eyes and lips awfully like the sphinx
—well, that’s the nearest I can get to it.’ He puffed
his pipe hard. But there was no sign of levity in
him. He told the actual truth as far as in him lay,
yet half ashamed of what he told. And a good deal
he left out, too.
‘She’s got a face of the same sort, that Statham
horror, his wife said with a shiver. ‘ Reduce the
size, and paint in awful black eyes, and you’ve got
her exactly—a living idol.’ And all three laughed,
yet a laughter without merriment in it.
‘And you spoke to the man ?’
‘T did,’ the Englishman answered, ‘ though I con-
fess I’m a bit ashamed of the way I spoke. Fact is,
I was excited, thunderingly excited, and felt a kind
of anger. I wanted to kick the beggar for practising
such bally rubbish, and in such a place too. Yet all
the time—well, well, I believe it was sheer funk now,’
he laughed ; ‘for I felt uncommonly queer out there
in the dusk, alone with—with that kind of business ;
and I was angry with myself for feeling it. Anyhow,
SAND 291
I went up—I’d lost my donkey boy as well, remember
—and slated him like a dog. I can’t remember what
I said exactly—only that the stood and stared at me
in silence. That made it worse—seemed twice as
real then. The beggar said no single word the whole
time. He signed to me with one hand to clear out.
And then, suddenly out of nothing—she—that woman
—appeared and stood beside him. I never saw her
come. She must have been behind some boulder or
other, for she simply rose out of the ground. She
stood there and stared at me too—bang in the face.
She was turned towards the sunset—what was left of
it in the west—and her black eyes shone like—ugh !
I can’t describe it—it was shocking.’
‘She spoke ?’
‘She said five words—and her voice—it’ll make
you laugh—it was metallic like a gong: ‘‘ You are
in danger here.” That’s all she said. I simply
turned and cleared out as fast as ever I could. But
I had to go on foot. My donkey had followed its
boy long before. I tell you—smile as you may—my
blood was all curdled for an hour afterwards.’
Then he explained that he felt some kind of ex-
planation or apology was due, since the couple lodged
in his own hotel, and how he approached the man
in the smoking-room after dinner. A conversation
resulted—the man was quite intelligent after all—of
which only one sentence had remained in his mind.
‘Perhaps you can explain it, Felix. I wrote it
down, as well as I could remember. The rest con-
fused me beyond words or memory ; though I must
confess it did not seem—vwell, not utter rot exactly.
It was about astrology and rituals and the worship
of the old Egyptians, and I don’t know what else
besides. Only, he made it intelligible and almost
292 PAN’S GARDEN
sensible, if only I could have got the hang of the
thing enough to remember it. You know,’ he added,
as though believing in spite of himself, ‘there is a
lot of that wonderful old Egyptian religious business
still hanging about in the atmosphere of this place,
say what you like.’
‘But this sentence?’ Henriot asked. And the
other went off to get a note-book where he had
written it down.
‘He was jawing, you see,’ he continued when he
came back, Henriot and his wife having kept silence
meanwhile, ‘about direction being of importance in
religious ceremonies, West and North symbolising
certain powers, or something of the kind, why people
turn to the East and all that sort of thing, and
speaking of the whole Universe as if it had living
forces tucked away in it that expressed themselves
somehow when roused up. That’s how I remember
it anyhow. And then he said this thing—in answer
to some fool question probably that I put.’ And
he read out of the note-book :
‘<< You were in danger because you came through
the Gateway of the West, and the Powers from the
Gateway of the East were at that moment rising, and
therefore in direct opposition to you.”’’
Then came the following, apparently a simile
offered by way of explanation. Mansfield read it
in a shamefaced tone, evidently prepared for laughter:
‘«* Whether I strike you on the back or in the
face determines what kind of answering force I rouse
in you. Direction is significant.” And he said it
was the period called the Night of Power—time
when the Desert encroaches and spirits are close.’
And tossing the book aside, he lit his pipe again
and waited a moment to hear what might be said.
SAND 293
‘Can you explain such gibberish?’ he asked at
length, as neither of his listeners spoke. But
Henriot said he couldn’t. And the wife then took
up her own tale of stories that had grown about this
singular couple. ,
These were less detailed, and therefore less im-
pressive, but all contributed something towards the
atmosphere of reality that framed the entire picture.
They belonged to the type one hears at every dinner
party in Egypt—stories of the vengeance mummies
seem to take on those who robbed them, desecrating
their peace of centuries; of a woman wearing a
necklace of scarabs taken from a princess’s tomb,
who felt hands about her throat to strangle her ; of
little Ka figures, Pasht goddesses, amulets and the
rest, that brought curious disaster to those who kept
them. They are many and various, astonishingly
circumstantial often, and vouched for by persons the
reverse of credulous. The modern superstition that
haunts the desert gullies with Afreets has nothing in
common with them. ‘They rest upon a basis of in-
dubitable experience ; and they remain—inexplicable.
And about the personalities of Lady Statham and
her nephew they crowded like flies attracted by a
dish of fruit. The Arabs, too, were afraid of her.
She had difficulty in getting guides and dragomen.
‘My dear chap,’ concluded Mansfield, ‘take my
advice and have nothing to do with ’em. There és
a lot of queer business knocking about in this old
country, and people like that know ways of reviving
it somehow. It’s upset you already; you looked
scared, I thought, the moment you came in.’ They
laughed, but the Englishman was in earnest. ‘I
tell you what,’ he added, ‘we'll go off for a bit of
shooting together. The fields along the Delta are
294 PAN’S GARDEN
packed with birds now: they’re home early this year
on their way to the North. What d’ye say, eh?’
But Henriot did not care about the quail shooting.
He felt more inclined to be alone and think things
out by himself. He had come to his friends for
comfort, and instead they had made him uneasy and
excited. His interest had suddenly doubled. Though ~
half afraid, he longed to know what these two were
up to—to follow the adventure to the bitter end.
He disregarded the warning of his host as well as the
premonition in his own heart. The sand had caught
his feet.
There were moments when he laughed in utter
disbelief, but these were optimistic moods that did
not last. He always returned to the feeling that
truth lurked somewhere in the whole strange business,
and that if he joined forces with them, as they seemed
to wish, he would witness—well, he hardly knew
what—but it enticed him as danger does the reckless
man, or death the suicide. The sand had caught
his mind.
He decided to offer himself to all they wanted—
his pencil too. He would see—a shiver ran through
him at the thought—what they saw, and know some
eddy of that vanished tide of power and splendour
the ancient Egyptian priesthood knew, and that
perhaps was even common experience in the far-off
days of dim Atlantis. The sand had caught his
imagination too. He was utterly sand-haunted.
Vil
Anp so he took pains, though without making
definite suggestion, to place himself in the way of
this woman and her nephew—only to find that his
hints were disregarded. They left him alone, if they
did not actually avoid him. Moreover, he rarely
came across them now. Only at night, or in the
queer dusk hours, he caught glimpses of them mov-
ing hurriedly off from the hotel, and always desert-
wards. And their disregard, well calculated, en-
flamed his desire to the point when he almost decided
to propose himself. Quite suddenly, then, the idea
flashed through him—how do they come, these odd
revelations, when the mind lies receptive like a plate
sensitised by anticipation ?—that they were waiting
for a certain date, and, with the notion, came Mans-
field’s remark about ‘the Night of Power,’ believed
in by the old Egyptian Calendar as a time when the
supersensuous world moves close against the minds
of men with all its troop of possibilities. And the
thought, once lodged in its corner of imagination,
grew strong. He looked it up. Ten days from
now, he found, Leyel-el-Sud would be upon him,
with a moon, too, at the full. And this strange
hint of guidance he accepted. In his present mood,
as he admitted, smiling to himself, he could accept
anything. It was part of it, it belonged to the
295
296 PAN’S GARDEN
adventure. But, even while he persuaded himself that
it was play, the solemn reality of what lay ahead in-
creased amazingly, sketched darkly in his very soul.
These intervening days he spent as best he could
—impatiently, a prey to quite opposite emotions.
In the blazing sunshine he thought of it and laughed ;
but at night he lay often sleepless, calculating chances
of escape. He never did escape, however. The
Desert that watched little Helouan with great, un-
winking eyes watched also every turn and twist he
made. Like this oasis, he basked in the sun of
older time, and dreamed beneath forgotten moons.
The sand at last had crept into his inmost heart. It
sifted over him.
Seeking a reaction from normal, everyday things,
he made tourist trips; yet, while recognising the
comedy in his attitude, he never could lose sight
of the grandeur that banked it up so hauntingly.
These two contrary emotions grafted themselves on
all he did and saw. He crossed the Nile at Bedras-
hein, and went again to the Tomb-World of Sakkara;
but through all the chatter of veiled and helmeted
tourists, the dandar-log of our modern Jungle, ran
this dark under-stream of awe their monkey methods
could not turn aside. One world lay upon another,
but this modern layer was a shallow crust that, like
the phenomenon of the ‘desert-film,’ a mere angle
of falling light could instantly obliterate. Beneath
the sand, deep down, he passed along the Street of
Tombs, as he had often passed before, moved then
merely by historical curiosity and admiration, but
now by emotions for which he found no name. He
saw the enormous sarcophagi of granite in their
gloomy chambers where the sacred bulls once lay,
swathed and embalmed like human beings, and, in
SAND 297
the flickering candle light, the mood of ancient rites
surged round him, menacing his doubts and laughter.
The least human whisper in these subterraneans, dug
out first four thousand years ago, revived ominous
Powers that stalked beside him, forbidding and pre-
. monitive. He gazed at the spots where Mariette,
unearthing them forty years ago, found fresh as of
yesterday the marks of fingers and naked feet—of
those who set the sixty-five ton slabs in position.
And when he came up again into the sunshine he
met the eternal questions of the pyramids, over-
topping all his mental horizons. Sand blocked all
the avenues of younger emotion, leaving the channels
of something in him incalculably older, open and
clean swept.
He slipped homewards, uncomfortable and
followed, glad to be with a crowd—because he
was otherwise alone with more than he could dare
to think about. Keeping just ahead of his com-
panions, he crossed the desert edge where the ghost
of Memphis walks under rustling palm trees that
screen no stone left upon another of all its mile-long
populous splendours. For here was a vista his imagina-
tion could realise ; here he could know the comfort
of solid ground his feet could touch. Gigantic
Ramases, lying on his back beneath their shade and
staring at the sky, similarly helped to steady his
swaying thoughts. Imagination could deal with these.
And daily thus he watched the busy world go to
and fro to its scale of tips and bargaining, and gladly
mingled with it, trying to laugh and study guide-
books, and listen to half-fledged explanations, but
always seeing the comedy of his poor attempts. Not
all those little donkeys, bells tinkling, beads shining,
trotting beneath their comical burdens to the tune of
298 PAN’S GARDEN
shouting and belabouring, could stem this tide of
deeper things the woman had let loose in the sub-
conscious part of him. Everywhere he saw the
mysterious camels go slouching through the sand,
gurgling the water in their skinny, extended throats.
Centuries passed between the enormous knee-stroke
of their stride. And, every night, the sunsets —
restored the forbidding, graver mood, with their
crimson, golden splendour, their strange green shafts
of light, then—sudden twilight that brought the
Past upon him with an awful leap. Upon the
stage then stepped the figures of this pair of human
beings, chanting their ancient plain-song of incanta-
tion in the moonlit desert, and working their rites
of unholy evocation as the priests had worked them
centuries before in the sands that now buried Sakkara
fathoms deep.
Then one morning he woke with a question in
his mind, as though it had been asked of him in sleep
and he had waked just before the answer came.
‘Why do I spend my time sight-seeing, instead of
going alone into the Desert as before? What has
made me change?’
This latest mood now asked for explanation.
And the answer, coming up automatically, startled
him. It was so clear and sure—had been lying in
the background all along. One word contained it :
Vance.
The sinister intentions of this man, forgotten in
the rush of other emotions, asserted themselves again
convincingly. The human horror, so easily com-
prehensible, had. been smothered for the time by the
hint of unearthly revelations. But it had operated
all the time. Now it took the lead. He dreaded to
be alone in the Desert with this dark picture in his
SAND 299
mind of what Vance meant to bring there to com-
pletion. This abomination of a selfish human will
returned to fix its terror in him. To be alone in
the Desert meant to be alone with the imaginative
picture of what Vance—he knew it with such strange
certainty—hoped to bring about there.
There was absolutely no evidence to justify the
grim suspicion. It seemed indeed far fetched enough,
this connection between the sand and the purpose of an
evil-minded, violent man. But Henriot saw it true.
He could argue it away in a few minutes—easily.
Yet the instant thought ceased, it returned, led up
by intuition. It possessed him, filled his mind with
horrible possibilities. He feared the Desert as he
might have feared the scene of some atrocious crime.
And, for the time, this dread of a merely human
thing corrected the big seduction of the other—the
suggested ‘ super-natural.’
Side by side with it, his desire to join himself to
the purposes of the woman increased steadily. They
kept out of his way apparently ; the offer seemed
withdrawn; he grew restless, unable to settle to any-
thing for long, and once he asked the porter casually
if they were leaving the hotel. Lady Statham had
been invisible for days, and Vance was somehow
never within speaking distance. He heard with
relief that they had not gone—but with dread as
well. Keen excitement worked in him underground.
He slept badly. Like a schoolboy, he waited for
the summons to an important examination that in-
volyed portentous issues, and contradictory emotions
disturbed his peace of mind abominably.
VIII
Bur it was not until the end of the week, when
Vance approached him with purpose in his eyes and
manner, that Henriot knew his fears unfounded, and
caught himself trembling with sudden anticipation—
because the invitation, so desired yet so dreaded, was
actually at hand. Firmly determined to keep caution
uppermost, yet he went unresistingly to a secluded
corner by the palms where they could talk in privacy.
For prudence is of the mind, but desire is of the soul,
and while his brain of to-day whispered wariness,
voices in his heart of long ago shouted commands
that he knew he must obey with joy.
It was evening and the stars were out. Helouan,
with her fairy twinkling lights, lay silent against the
Desert edge. The sand was at the flood. The
period of the Encroaching of the Desert was at hand,
and the deeps were all astir with movement. But
in the windless air was a great peace. A calm of
infinite stillness breathed everywhere. The flow of
Time, before it rushed away backwards, stopped
somewhere between the dust of stars and Desert.
The mystery of sand touched every street with its
unutterable softness.
And Vance. began without the smallest circum-
locution. His voice was low, in keeping with the
scene, but the words dropped with a sharp distinctness
into the other’s heart like grains of sand that pricked
300
SAND 301
the skin before they smothered him. Caution they
smothered instantly ; resistance too.
‘] have a message for you from my aunt,’ he said,
as though he brought an invitation to a picnic.
Henriot sat in shadow, but his companion’s face
was in a patch of light that followed them from
the windows of the central hall. There was a
shining in the light blue eyes that betrayed the
excitement his quiet manner concealed. ‘ We
are going—the day after to-morrow—to spend the
night in the Desert; she wondered if, perhaps,
you would care to join us? ’
‘For your experiment ?’ asked Henriot bluntly.
Vance smiled with his lips, holding his eyes steady,
though unable to suppress the gleam that flashed in
them and was gone so swiftly. There was a hint
of shrugging his shoulders.
‘It is the Night of Power—in the old Egyptian
Calendar, you know,’ he answered with assumed
lightness almost, ‘the final moment of Leyel-el-Sud,
the period of Black Nights when the Desert was held
to encroach with—with various possibilities of a
supernatural order. She wishes to revive a certain
practice of the old Egyptians. There may be curious
results. At any rate, the occasion is a picturesque
one—better than this cheap imitation of London
life.’ And he indicated the lights, the signs of
people in the hall dressed for gaieties and dances,
the hotel orchestra that played after dinner.
Henriot at the moment answered nothing, so
great was the rush of conflicting emotions that came
he knew not whence. Vance went calmly on. He
spoke with a simple frankness that was meant to be
disarming. Hlenriot never took his eyes off him.
The two men stared steadily at one another.
302 PAN’S GARDEN
‘She wants to know if you will come and help
too—in a certain way only: not in the experiment
itself precisely, but by watching merely and
He hesitated an instant, half lowering his eyes.
‘Drawing the picture, Henriot helped him
deliberately.
‘Drawing what you see, yes,’ Vance replied, the
voice turned graver in spite of himself. ‘She wants
—she hopes to catch the outlines of anything that
happens
‘Comes.’
‘Exactly. Determine the shape of anything that
comes. You may remember your conversation of the
other night with her. She is very certain of success.’
This was direct enough at any rate. It was as
formal as an invitation to a dinner, and as guileless.
The thing he thought he wanted lay within his reach,
He had merely to say yes. He did say yes; but
first he looked about him instinctively, as for guid-
ance. He looked at the stars twinkling high above
the distant Libyan Plateau ; at the long arms of the
Desert, gleaming weirdly white in the moonlight,
and reaching towards him down every opening
between the houses; at the heavy mass of the
Mokattam Hills, guarding the Arabian Wilderness
with strange, peaked barriers, their sand-carved ridges
dark and still above the Wadi Hof.
These questionings attracted no response. The
Desert watched him, but it did not answer. There
was only the shrill whistling cry of the lizards, and
the sing-song of a white-robed Arab gliding down
the sandy street. And through these sounds he
heard his own voice answer: ‘I will come— yes.
But how can I help? Tell me what you propose—
your plan?’
SAND 303
And the face of Vance, seen plainly in the electric
glare, betrayed his satisfaction. The opposing things
in the fellow’s mind of darkness fought visibly in
his eyes and skin. The sordid motive, planning a
dreadful act, leaped to his face, and with it a flash of
this other yearning that sought unearthly knowledge,
perhaps believed it too. No wonder there was con-
flict written on his features.
Then all expression vanished again; he leaned
forward, lowering his voice.
‘You remember our conversation about there
being types of life too vast to manifest in a single
body, and my aunt’s belief that these were known to
certain of the older religious systems of the world?’
‘Perfectly.’
‘Her experiment, then, is to bring one of these
great Powers back—we possess the sympathetic ritual
that can rouse some among them to activity—and
win it down into the sphere of our minds, our minds
heightened, you see, by ceremonial to that stage of
clairvoyant vision which can perceive them.’
‘And then?’ They might have been discussing
the building of a house, so naturally followed answer
upon question. But the whole body of meaning in
the old Egyptian symbolism rushed over him with a
force that shook his heart. Memory came so mar-
vellously with it.
‘If the Power floods down into our minds with
sufficient strength for actual form, to note the out-
line of such form, and from your drawing model it
later in permanent substance. Then we should have
means of evoking it at will, for we should have its
natural Body—the form it built itself, its signature,
image, pattern. A starting-point, you see, for more
—leading, she hopes, to a complete reconstruction.’
304 PAN’S GARDEN
‘It might take actual shape—assume a bodily
form visible to the eye?’ repeated Henriot, amazed
as before that doubt and laughter did not break
through his mind.
‘We are on the earth,’ was the reply, spoken
unnecessarily low since no living thing was within
earshot, ‘we are in physical conditions, are we not?
Even a human soul we do not recognise unless we
see it in a body—parents provide the outline, the
signature, the sigil of the returning soul. This,’ and
he tapped himself upon the breast, ‘is the physical
signature of that type of life we calla soul. Unless
there is life of a certain strength behind it, no body
forms. And, without a body, we are helpless to
control or manage it—deal with it in any way.
We could not know it, though being possibly aware
of it.’
‘To be aware, you mean, is not sufficient ?’ For
he noticed the italics Vance made use of.
‘Too vague, of no value for future use,’ was the
reply. ‘But once obtain the form, and we have the
natural symbol of that particular Power. And a
symbol is more than image, it is a direct and con-
centrated expression of the life it typifies—possibly
terrific.’
‘It may bea body, then, this symbol you speak of.’
‘Accurate vehicle of manifestation ; but ‘ body ”
seems the simplest word.’
Vance answered very slowly and deliberately, as
though weighing how much he would tell. His
language was admirably evasive. Few perhaps
would have detected the profound significance the
curious words he next used unquestionably concealed.
Henriot’s mind rejected them, but his heart accepted.
For the ancient soul in him was listening and aware
SAND 305
‘Life, using matter to express itself in bodily
shape, first traces a geometrical pattern. From the
lowest form in crystals, upwards to more complicated
patterns in the higher organisations—there is always
first this geometrical pattern as skeleton. For
geometry lies at the root of all possible phenomena ;
and is the mind’s interpretation of a living movement
towards shape that shall express it.’ He brought his
eyes closer to the other, lowering his voice again.
‘Fence,’ he said softly, ‘the signs in all the old.
magical systems—skeleton forms into which the
Powers evoked descended; outlines those Powers
automatically built up when using matter to express
themselves. Such signs are material symbols of their
bodiless existence. ‘They attract the life they repre-
sent and interpret. Obtain the correct, true symbol,
and the Power corresponding to it can approach—
once roused and made aware. It has, you see, a
ready-made mould into which it can come down.’
‘Once roused and made aware ?’ repeated Henriot
questioningly, while this man went stammering the
letters of a language that he himself had used too long
ago to recapture fully.
‘Because they have left the world. They sleep,
unmanifested. Their forms are no longer known to
men. No forms exist on earth to-day that could
contain them. But they may be awakened,’ he added
darkly. ‘They are bound to answer to the summons,
if such summons be accurately made.’
‘Evocation ?’ whispered Henriot, more distressed
than he cared to admit.
Vance nodded. Leaning still closer to his com-
panion’s face, he thrust his lips forward, speaking
eagerly, earnestly, yet somehow at the same time,
horribly : ‘And we want—my aunt would ask—your
x
306 PAN’S GARDEN
draughtsman’s skill, or at any rate your memory
afterwards, to establish the outline of anything that
comes.’ |
He waited for the answer, still keeping his face
uncomfortably close.
Henriot drew back a little. But his mind was
fully made up now. He had known from the
beginning that he would consent, for the desire in
him was stronger than all the caution in the world.
The Past inexorably drew him into the circle of these
other lives, and the little human dread Vance woke
in him seemed just then insignificant by comparison.
It was merely of To-day.
‘You two,’ he said, trying to bring judgment
into it, ‘engaged in evocation, will be in a state of
clairvoyant vision. Granted. But shall I, as an
outsider, observing with unexcited mind, see any-
thing, know anything, be aware of anything at all,
let alone the drawing of it ?’
‘Unless,’ the reply came instantly with decision,
‘the descent of Power is strong enough to take actual
material shape, the experiment is a failure. Anybody
can induce subjective vision. Such fantasies have no
value though. They are born of an overwrought
imagination.’ And then he added quickly, as though
to clinch the matter before caution and hesitation
could take effect : ‘ You must watch from the heights
above. We shall be in the valley—the Wadi Hof is
the place. You must not be too close ,
‘Why not too close?” asked Henriot, springing
forward like a flash before he could prevent the
sudden impulse.
With a quickness equal to his own, Vance
answered. There was no faintest sign that he was ~
surprised. His self-control was perfect. Only the
SAND 307
glare passed darkly through his eyes and went back
again into the sombre soul that bore it.
‘For your own safety,’ he answered low. ‘The
Power, the type of life, she would waken is stupend-
ous. And if roused enough to be attracted by the
patterned symbol into which she would decoy it
down, it will take actual, physical expression. But
how? Where is the Body of Worshippers through
whom it can manifest? There is none. It will,
therefore, press inanimate matter into the service.
The terrific impulse to form itself a means of expres-
sion will force all loose matter at hand towards it—
sand, stones, all it can compel to yield—everything
must rush into the sphere of action in which it
operates. Alone, we at the centre, and you, upon
the outer fringe, will be safe. Only—you must not
come too close.’ .
But Henriot was no longer listening. His soul
had turned to ice. For here, in this unguarded
moment, the cloven hoof had plainly shown itself.
In that suggestion of a particular kind of danger
Vance had lifted a corner of the curtain behind
which crouched his horrible intention. Vance desired
a witness of the extraordinary experiment, but he
desired this witness, not merely for the purpose of
sketching possible shapes that might present them-
selves to excited vision. He desired a witness for
another reason too. Why ld Vance put that idea
into his mind, this idea of so peculiar danger? It
might well have lost him the very assistance he
seemed so anxious to obtain.
Henriot could not fathom it quite. Only one
thing was clear to him. He, Henriot, was not the
only one in danger.
They talked for long after that—far into the
308 PAN’S GARDEN
night. The lights went out, and the armed patrol,
pacing to and fro outside the iron railings that
kept the desert back, eyed them curiously. But
the only other thing he gathered of importance was
the ledge upon the cliff-top where he was to stand
and watch; that he was expected to reach there
before sunset and wait till the moon concealed all
limmer in the western sky, and—that the woman,
who had been engaged for days in secret preparation
of soul and body for the awful rite, would not be
visible again until he saw her in the depths of the
black valley far below, busy with this man upon
audacious, ancient purposes.
IX
An hour before sunset Henriot put his rugs and
food upon a donkey, and gave the boy directions
where to meet him—a considerable distance from
the appointed spot. He went himself on foot. He
slipped in the heat along the sandy street, where
strings of camels still go slouching, shuffling with
their loads from the quarries that built the pyramids,
and he felt that little friendly Helouan tried to keep
him back. But desire now was far too strong for
caution. The desert tide was rising. It easily
swept him down the long white street towards the
enormous deeps beyond. He felt the pull of a
thousand miles before him; and twice a thousand
years drove at his back.
Everything still basked in the sunshine. He
passed Al Hayat, the stately hotel that dominates
the village like a palace built against the sky ; and
in its pillared colonnades and terraces he saw the
throngs of people having late afternoon tea and
listening to the music of a regimental band. Men
in flannels were playing tennis, parties were climb-
ing off donkeys after long excursions; there was
laughter, talking, a babel of many voices. The
gaiety called to him; the everyday spirit whispered
to stay and join the crowd of lively human beings.
Soon there would be merry dinner-parties, dancing,
309
310 PAN’S GARDEN
voices of pretty women, sweet white dresses, singing,
and the rest. Soft eyes would question and turn
dark. He picked out several girls he knew among
the palms. But it was all many, oh so many leagues
away ; centuries lay between him and this modern
world. An indescriable loneliness was in his heart.
He went searching through the sands of forgotten
ages, and wandering among the ruins of a vanished
time. He hurried. Already the deeper water
caught his breath.
He climbed the steep rise towards the plateau
where the Observatory stands, and saw two of the
officials whom he knew taking a siesta after their
long day’s work. He felt that his mind, too, had
dived and searched among the heavenly bodies that
live in silent, changeless peace remote from the
world of men. They recognised him, these two
whose eyes also knew tremendous distance close.
They beckoned, waving the straws through which
they sipped their drinks from tall glasses. Their
voices floated down to him as from the star-fields.
He saw the sun gleam upon the glasses, and
heard the clink of the ice against the sides. ‘The
stillness was amazing. He waved an answer, and
passed quickly on. He could not stop this sliding
current of the years. |
The tide moved faster, the draw of piled-up
cycles urging it. He emerged upon the plateau,
and met the cooler Desert air. His feet went
crunching on the ‘ desert-film’ that spread its curious
dark shiny carpet as far as the eye could reach; it
lay everywhere, unswept and smooth as when the
feet of vanished civilizations trod its burning surface,
then dipped behind the curtains Time pins against
the stars. And here the body of the tide set all
n
y
SAND 311
one way. There was a greater strength of current,
draught and suction. He felt the powerful undertow.
Deeper masses drew his feet sideways, and he felt
the rushing of the central body of the sand. The
sands were moving, from their foundation upwards,
He went unresistingly with. them.
Turning a moment, he looked back at shining
little Helouan in the blaze of evening light. The
voices reached him very faintly, merged now in a
general murmur. Beyond lay the strip of Delta
vivid green, the palms, the roofs of Bedrashein, the
blue laughter of the Nile with its flocks of curved
felucca sails. Further still, rising above the yellow
Lybian horizon, gloomed the vast triangles of a
dozen Pyramids, cutting their wedge-shaped clefts
out of a sky fast crimsoning through a sea of gold.
Seen thus, their dignity imposed upon the entire
landscape. They towered darkly, symbolic signa-
tures of the ancient Powers that now watched him
taking these little steps across their damaged territory.
He gazed a minute, then went on. He saw the
big pale face of the moon in the east. Above the
ever-silent Thing these giant symbols once inter-
preted, she rose, grand, effortless, half-terrible as
themselves. And, with her, she lifted up this tide
of the Desert that drew his feet across the sand to
Wadi Hof. A moment later he dipped below the
ridge that buried Helouan and Nile and Pyramids
from sight. He entered the ancient waters. Time
then, in an instant, flowed back behind his footsteps,
obliterating every trace. And with it his mind
went too. He stepped across the gulf of centuries,
moving into the Past. The Desert lay before him
—an open tomb wherein his: soul should read
presently of things long vanished.
312 PAN’S GARDEN
The strange half-lights of sunset began to play
their witchery then upon the landscape. A purple
glow came down upon the Mokattam Hills. Per-
spective danced its tricks of false, incredible decep-
tion. The soaring kites that were a mile away
seemed suddenly close, passing in a moment from
the size of gnats to birds with a fabulous stretch of
wing. Ridges and cliffs rushed close without a
hint of warning, and level places sank into declivities
and basins that made him trip and stumble. That
indescriable quality of the Desert, which makes
timid souls avoid the hour of dusk, emerged ; it
spread everywhere, undisguised. And the bewilder-
ment it brings is no vain, imagined thing, for it
distorts vision utterly, and the effect upon the mind
when familiar sight goes floundering is the simplest
way in the world of dragging the anchor that grips
reality. At the hour of sunset this bewilderment
comes upon a man with a disconcerting swiftness.
It rose now with all this weird rapidity. Henriot
found himself enveloped at a moment’s notice.
But, knowing well its effect, he tried to judge
it and pass on. The other matters, the object of
his journey chief of all, he refused to dwell upon —
with any imagination. Wisely, his mind, while
never losing sight of it, declined to admit the
exaggeration that over-elaborate thinking brings.
‘l’m going to witness an incredible experiment in
which two enthusiastic religious dreamers believe
firmly,’ he repeated to himself. ‘I have agreed to
draw—anything I see. There may be truth in it,
or they may be merely self-suggested vision due to
an artificial exaltation of their minds. I’m interested
—perhaps against my better judgment. Yet I'll see
the adventure out—because I must.’
SAND 313
This was the attitude he told himself to take.
Whether it was the real one, or merely adopted to
warm a cooling courage, he could not tell. The
emotions were so complex and warring. His mind,
automatically, kept repeating this comforting formula.
Deeper than that he could not see to judge. Fora
man who knew the full content of his thought at
such a time would solve some of the oldest psycho-
logical problems in the world. Sand had already
buried judgment, and with it all attempt to explain
the adventure by the standards acceptable to his
brain of to-day. He steered subconsciously through
a world of dim, huge, half-remembered wonders.
The sun, with that abrupt Egyptian suddenness,
was below the horizon now. The pyramid field had
swallowed it. Ra, in his golden boat, sailed distant
seas beyond the Lybian wilderness. Henriot walked
on and on, aware of utter loneliness. He was
walking fields of dream, too remote from modern
life to recall companionship he once had surely
known. How dim it was, how deep and distant,
how lost in this sea of an incalculable Past! He
walked into the places that are soundless. The
soundlessness of ocean, miles below the surface, was
about him. He was with One only—this unfathom-
able, silent thing where nothing breathes or stirs—
nothing but sunshine, shadow and the wind-borne
sand. Slowly, in front, the moon climbed up the
eastern sky, hanging above the silence—silence that
ran unbroken across the horizons to where Suez
gleamed upon the waters of a sister sea in motion.
That moon was glinting now upon the Arabian
Mountains by its desolate shores. Southwards
stretched the wastes of Upper Egypt a thousand
miles to meet the Nubian wilderness. But over
314 PAN’S GARDEN
all these separate Deserts stirred the soft whisper
of the moving sand—deep murmuring message
that Life was on the way to unwind Death. The
Ka of Egypt, swathed in centuries of sand, hovered
beneath the moon towards her ancient tenement.
For the transformation of the Desert now began
in earnest. It grew apace. Before he had gone
the first two miles of his hour’s journey, the twilight
caught the rocky hills and twisted them into those
monstrous revelations of physiognomies they barely
take the trouble to conceal even in the daytime.
And, while he well understood the eroding agencies
that have produced them, there yet rose in his mind
a deeper interpretation lurking just behind their
literal meanings. Here, through the motionless
surfaces, that nameless thing the Desert ill conceals
urged outwards into embryonic form and shape,
akin, he almost felt, to those immense deific symbols
of Other Life the Egyptians knew and worshipped.
Hence, from the Desert, had first come, he felt, the
unearthly life they typified in their monstrous figures
of granite, evoked in their stately temples, and com-
muned with in the ritual of their Mystery ceremonials.
This ‘watching’ aspect of the Lybian Desert is
really natural enough; but it is just the natural,
Henriot knew, that brings the deepest revelations.
The surface limestones, resisting the erosion, block
themselves ominously against the sky, while the
softer sand beneath sets them on altared pedestals
that define their isolation splendidly. Blunt and
unconquerable, these masses now watched him pass
between them. The Desert surface formed them,
gave them birth. They rose, they saw, they sank
down again—waves upon a sea that carried forgotten
life up from the depths below. Of forbidding, even
SAND G15
menacing type, they somewhere mated with genuine
grandeur. Unformed, according to any standard
of human or of animal faces, they achieved an air of
giant physiognomy which made them terrible. The
unwinking stare of eyes—lidless eyes that yet ever
succeed in hiding—looked out under well-marked,
level eyebrows, suggesting a vision that included
the motives and purposes of his very heart. They
looked up grandly, understood why he was there,
and then—slowly withdrew their mysterious, penetrat-
ing gaze.
The strata built them so marvellously up; the
heavy, threatening brows; thick lips, curved by
the ages into a semblance of cold smiles; jowls
drooping into sandy heaps that climbed against the
cheeks ; protruding jaws, and the suggestion of
shoulders just about to lift the entire bodies out
of the sandy beds—this host of countenances con-
veyed a solemnity of expression that seemed ever-
lasting, implacable as Death. Of human signature
they bore no trace, nor was comparison possible
between their kind and any animal life. They
peopled the Desert here. And their smiles, con-
cealed yet just discernible, went broadening with
the darkness into a Desert laughter. The silence
bore it underground. But Henriot was aware of
it. The troop of faces slipped into that single,
enormous countenance which is the visage of the
Sand. And he saw it everywhere, yet nowhere.
Thus with the darkness grew his imaginative
interpretation of the Desert. Yet there was con-
struction in it, a construction, moreover, that was not
entirely his own. Powers, he felt, were rising, stir-
ring, wakening from sleep. Behind the natural faces
that he saw, these other things peered gravely at
316 PAN’S GARDEN
him as he passed. ‘They used, as it were, materials
that lay ready to their hand. Imagination furnished
these hints of outline, yet the Powers themselves
were real. There was this amazing movement of
the sand. By no other manner could his mind have
conceived of such a thing, nor dreamed of this
simple, yet dreadful method of approach.
Approach! that was the word that first stood
out and startled him. There was approach ; some-
thing was drawing nearer. The Desert rose and
walked beside him. For not alone these ribs of
gleaming limestone contributed towards the elemental
visages, but the entire hills, of which they were an
outcrop, ran to assist in the formation, and were a
necessary part of them. He was watched and stared
at from behind, in front, on either side, and even
from below. ‘The sand that swept him on, kept
even pace with him. It turned luminous too,
with a patchwork of glimmering effect that was
indescribably weird ; lanterns glowed within its sub-
stance, and by their light he stumbled on, glad of
the Arab boy he would presently meet at the
appointed place.
The last torch of the sunset had flickered out,
melting into the wilderness, when, suddenly opening
at his feet, gaped the deep, wide gully known as Wadi
Hof. Its curve swept past him.
This first impression came upon him with a
certain violence: that the desolate valley rushed.
He saw but a section of its curve and sweep, but
through its entire length of several miles the Wadi
fled away. . The moon whitened it like snow, piling
black shadows very close against the cliffs. In the
flood of moonlight it went rushing past. It was
emptying itself.
SAND gy
For a moment the stream of movement seemed
to pause and look up into his face, then instantly
went On again upon its swift career. It was like the
procession of ariver to the sea. The valley emptied
itself to make way for what was coming. The
approach, moreover, had already begun.
Conscious that he was trembling, he stood and
gazed into the depths, seeking to steady his mind
by the repetition of the little formula he had used
before. He said it half aloud. But, while he did so,
his heart whispered quite other things. Thoughts
the woman and the man had sown rose up in a flock
and fell upon him like a storm of sand. Their
impetus drove off all support of ordinary ideas.
They shook him where he stood, staring down into
this river of strange invisible movement that was
hundreds of feet in depth and a quarter of a mile
across.
He sought to realise himself as he actually was
to-day—mere visitor to Helouan, tempted into this
wild adventure with two strangers. But in vain.
That seemed a dream, unreal, a transient detail
picked out from the enormous Past that now
engulfed him, heart and mind and soul. This was
the reality.
The shapes and faces that the hills of sand built
round him were the play of excited fancy only. By
sheer force he pinned his thought against this fact :
but further he could not get. There were Powers at
work; they were being stirred, wakened somewhere
into activity. vocation had already begun. That
sense of their approach as he had walked along
from Helouan was not imaginary. A descent of
some type of life, vanished from the world too
long for recollection, was on the way,—so vast
318 PAN’S GARDEN
that it would manifest itself in a group of forms, a
troop, a host, an army. These two were near him
somewhere at this very moment, already long at —
work, their minds driving beyond this little world.
The valley was emptying itself—for the descent of
life their ritual invited.
And the movement in the sand was likewise true.
He recalled the sentences the woman had used.
‘My body,’ he reflected, ‘like the bodies life
makes use of everywhere, is mere upright heap
of earth and dust and—sand. Here in the Desert
is the raw material, the greatest store of it in the
world.’
And on the heels of it came sharply that other
thing: that this descending Life would press into its
service all loose matter within its reach—to form
that sphere of action which would be in a literal
sense its Body.
In the first few seconds, as he stood there, he
realised all this, and realised it with an overwhelming
conviction it was futile to deny. The fast-emptying
valley would later brim with an unaccustomed and
terrific life. Yet Death hid there too—a little, ugly,
insignificant death. With the name of Vance it
flashed upon his mind and vanished, too tiny to be
thought about in this torrent of grander messages
that shook the depths within his soul. He
bowed his head a moment, hardly knowing what he
did. He could have waited thus a thousand years-
it seemed. He was conscious of a wild desire to run
away, to hide, to efface himself utterly, his terror,
his curiosity, his little wonder, and not be seen of
anything. But it was all vain and foolish. The
Desert saw him. The Gigantic knew that he was
there. No escape was possible any longer. Caught
SAND 319
by the sand, he stood amid eternal things. The
river of movement swept him too. |
These hills, now motionless as statues, would
presently glide forward into the cavalcade, sway like
vessels, and go past with the procession. At present
only the contents, not the frame, of the Wadi moved.
An immense soft brush of moonlight swept it empty
for what was on the way. ... But presently the
entire Desert would stand up and also g0.
Then, making a sideways movement, his feet
kicked against something soft and yielding that lay
heaped upon the Desert floor, and Henriot discovered
the rugs the Arab boy had carefully set down before
he made full speed for the friendly lights of Helouan.
The sound of his departing footsteps had long since
died away. He was alone.
The detail restored to him his consciousness of
the immediate present, and, stooping, he gathered up
the rugs and overcoat and began to make preparations
for the night. But the appointed spot, whence he
was to watch, lay upon the summit of the opposite
cliffs. He must cross the Wadi bed and climb.
Slowly and with labour he made his way down a
steep cleft into the depth of the Wadi Hof, sliding
and stumbling often, till at length he stood upon the
floor of shining moonlight. It was very smooth ;
windless utterly ; still as space; each particle of sand
lay in its ancient place asleep. The movement, it
seemed, had ceased.
He clambered next up the eastern side, through
pitch-black shadows, and within the hour reached the
ledge upon the top whence he could see below him, like
a silvered map, the sweep of the valley bed. The wind
nipped keenly here again, coming over the leagues of
cooling sand. Loose boulders of splintered rock,
320 PAN’S GARDEN
started by his climbing, crashed and boomed into the
depths. He banked the rugs behind him, wrapped
himself in his overcoat, and lay down to wait. Behind
him was a two-foot crumbling wall against which he
leaned; in front a drop of several hundred feet
through space. He lay upon a platform, therefore,
invisible from the Desert at his back. Below, the
curving Wadi formed a natural amphitheatre in
which each separate boulder fallen from the cliffs,
and even the little sz//a shrubs the camels eat, were
plainly visible. He noted all the bigger ones among
them. He counted them over half aloud.
And the moving stream he had been unaware of
when crossing the bed itself, now began again. The
Wadi went rushing past before the broom of moon-
light. Again, the enormous and the tiny combined
in one single strange impression. For, through this
conception of great movement, stirred also a roving,
delicate touch that his imagination felt as bird-like.
Behind the solid mass of the Desert’s immobility
flashed something swift and light and airy. Bizarre
pictures interpreted it to him, like rapid snap-shots
of a huge flying panorama: he thought of darting
dragon-flies seen at Helouan, of children’s little
dancing feet, of twinkling butterflies—of birds.
Chiefly, yes, of a flock of birds in flight, whose
separate units formed a single entity. The idea of
the Group-Soul possessed his mind once more. But
it came with a sense of more than curiosity or wonder.
Veneration lay behind it, a veneration touched with
awe. It rose in his deepest thought that here was
the first hint of a symbolical representation. A
symbol, sacred and inviolable, belonging to some
ancient worship that he half remembered in his soul,
stirred towards interpretation through all his being.
SAND yor
He lay there waiting, wondering vaguely where
his two companions were, yet fear all vanished
because he felt attuned to a scale of things too big to
mate with definite dread. There was high anticipa-
tion in him, but not anxiety. Of himself, as Felix
Henriot, indeed, he hardly seemed aware. He was
some one else. Or, rather, he was himself at a stage
he had known once far, far away in a remote pre-
existence. He watched himself from dim summits
of a Past, of which no further details were as yet
recoverable.
Pencil and sketching-block lay ready to his hand.
The moon rose higher, tucking the shadows ever
more closely against the precipices. The silver
passed into a sheet of snowy whiteness, that made
every boulder clearly visible. Solemnity deepened
everywhere into awe. The Wadi fled silently down
the stream of hours. It was almost empty now.
And then, abruptly, he was aware of change. The
motion altered somewhere. It moved more quietly ;
pace slackened; the end of the procession that
evacuated the depth and length of it went trailing
past and turned the distant bend.
‘It’s slowing up,’ he whispered, as sure of it as
though he had watched a regiment of soldiers filing
by. The wind took off his voice like a flying
feather of sound.
And there was a change. It had begun. Night
and the moon stood still to watch and listen. The
wind dropped utterly away. The sand ceased its
shifting movement. The Desert everywhere stopped
still, and turned.
_ Some curtain, then, that for centuries had veiled
the world, drew softly up, leaving a shaded vista
down which the eyes of his soul peered towards long-
4
522 PAN’S GARDEN
forgotten pictures. Still buried by the sands too
deep for full recovery, he yet perceived dim portions
of them—things once honoured and loved passion-
ately. For once they had surely been to him the
whole of life, not merely a fragment for cheap
wonder to inspect. And they were curiously
familiar, even as the person of this woman who
now evoked them was familiar. Henriot made no
pretence to more definite remembrance; but the
haunting certainty rushed over him, deeper than
doubt or denial, and with such force that he felt no
effort to destroy it. Some lost sweetness of spiritual
ambitions, lived for with this passionate devotion,
and passionately worshipped as men to-day worship
fame and money, revived in him with a tempest of
high glory. Centres of memory stirred from an
age-long sleep, so that he could have wept at their
so complete obliteration hitherto. That such
majesty had departed from the world as though
it never had existed, was a thought for desolation
and for tears. And though the little fragment he
was about to witness might be crude in itself and
incomplete, yet it was part of a vast system that
once explored the richest realms of deity. The
reverence in him contained a holiness of the night
and of the stars; great, gentle awe lay in it too; for
he stood, aflame with anticipation and humility, at
the gateway of sacred things. |
And this was the mood, no thrill of cheap excite-
ment or alarm to weaken in, in which he first became
aware that two spots of darkness he had taken all
along for boulders on the snowy valley bed, were
actually something very different. They were living
figures. They moved. It was not the shadows
slowly following the moonlight, but the stir of
SAND 2
human beings who all these hours had been motion-
less as stone. He must have passed them un-
noticed within a dozen yards when he crossed the
Wadi bed, and a hundred times from this very ledge
his eyes had surely rested on them without recogni-
tion. Their minds, he knew full well, had not been
inactive as their bodies. The important part of
the ancient ritual lay, he remembered, in the powers
of the evoking mind.
Here, indeed, was no effective nor theatrical
approach of the principal figures. It had nothing
in common with the cheap external ceremonial of
modern days. In forgotten powers of the soul its
grandeur lay, potent, splendid, true. Long before
he came, perhaps all through the day, these two
had laboured with their arduous preparations. They
were there, part of the Desert, when hours ago he
had crossed the plateau in the twilight. To them—
to this woman’s potent working of old ceremonial
—had been due that singular rush of imagination
he had felt. He had interpreted the Desert as
alive. Here was the explanation. It was alive.
Life was on the way. Long latent, her intense
desire summoned it back to physical expression ;
and the effect upon him had steadily increased as
he drew nearer to the centre where she would focus
its revival and return, Those singular impressions
of being watched and accompanied were explained.
A priest of this old-world worship performed a
genuine evocation; a Great One of Vision revived
the cosmic Powers.
Henriot watched the small figures far below him
with a sense of dramatic splendour that only this
association of far-off Memory could account for.
It was their rising now, and the lifting of their arms
324 PAN’S GARDEN
to form a slow revolving outline, that marked the
abrupt cessation of the larger river of movement ;
for the sweeping of the Wadi sank into sudden
stillness, and these two, with motions not unlike
some dance of deliberate solemnity, passed slowly
through the moonlight to and fro. His attention
fixed upon them both. All other movement ceased.
They fastened the flow of Time against the Desert’s
body.
What happened then? How could his mind
interpret an experience so long denied that the power
of expression, as of comprehension, has ceased to
exist? How translate this symbolical representation,
small detail though it was, of a transcendent worship
entombed for most so utterly beyond recovery ?
Its splendour could never lodge in minds that con-
ceive Deity perched upon a cloud within telephoning
distance of fashionable churches. How should he
phrase it even to himself, whose memory drew up
pictures from so dim a past that the language fit to
frame them lay unreachable and lost ?
Henriot did not know. Perhaps he never yet
has known. Certainly, at the time, he did not even
try to think. His sensations remain his own—
untranslatable ; and even that instinctive description
the mind gropes for automatically, floundered, halted,
and stopped dead. Yet there rose within him some-
where, from depths long drowned in slumber, a
reviving power by which he saw, divined and re-
collected—remembered seemed too literal a word—
these elements of a worship he once had personally
known. He; too, had worshipped thus. His soul
had moved amid similar evocations in some aeonian
past, whence now the sand was being cleared away.
‘Symbols of stupendous meaning flashed and went
SAND 325
their way across the lifting mists. He hardly caught
their meaning, so long it was since he had known
them; yet they were familiar as the faces seen in
dreams, and some hint of their spiritual significance
left faint traces in his heart by means of which their
grandeur reached towards interpretation. And all
were symbols of a cosmic, deific nature; of Powers
that only symbols can express—prayer-books and
sacraments used in the Wisdom Religion of an older
time, but to-day known only in the decrepit, literal
shell which is their degradation.
Grandly the figures moved across the valley bed.
The powers of the heavenly bodies once more joined
them. They moved to the measure of a cosmic
dance, whose rhythm was creative. The Universe
partnered them.
There was this transfiguration of all common,
external things. He realised that appearances were
visible letters of a soundless language, a language he
once had known. The powers of night and moon
and desert sand married with points in the fluid
stream of his inmost spiritual being that knew and
welcomed them. He understood.
Old Egypt herself stooped down from her un-
covered throne. The stars sent messengers. There
was commotion in the secret, sandy places of the
desert. For the Desert had grown Temple. Columns
reared against the sky. There rose, from leagues
away, the chanting of the sand.
The temples, where once this came to pass, were
gone, their ruin questioned by alien hearts that knew
not their spiritual meaning. But here the entire
Desert swept in to form a shrine, and the Majesty
that once was Egypt stepped grandly back across
ages of denial and neglect. The sand was altar, and
326 PAN’S GARDEN
the stars were altar lights. The moon lit up the
vast recesses of the ceiling, and the wind from a
thousand miles brought in the perfume of her incense.
For with that faith which shifts mountains from
their sandy bed, two passionate, believing souls
invoked the Ka of Egypt.
And the motions that they made, he saw, were
definite harmonious patterns their dark figures traced
upon the shining valley floor. Like the points of
compasses, with stems invisible, and directed from
the sky, their movements marked the outlines of
great signatures of power—the sigils of the type
of life they would evoke. It would come as a Pro-
cession. No individual outline could contain it.
It needed for its visible expression—many. The
descent of a group-soul, known to the worship of
this mighty system, rose from its lair of centuries
and moved hugely down upon them. The Ka,
answering to the summons, would mate with sand.
The Desert was its Body.
Yet it was not this that he had come to fix with
block and pencil. Not yet was the moment when
his skill might be of use. He waited, watched, and
listened, while this river of half-remembered things
went past him. The patterns grew beneath his eyes
like music. Too intricate and prolonged to re-
member with accuracy later, he understood that
they were forms of that root-geometry which lies
behind all manifested life. The mould was being
traced in outline. Life would presently inform it.
And a singing rose from the maze of lines whose
beauty was like the beauty of the constellations.
This sound was very faint at first, but grew
steadily in volume. Although no echoes, properly
speaking, were possible, these precipices caught stray
SAND R29
notes that trooped in from the further sandy
reaches. ‘he figures certainly were chanting, but
their chanting was not all he heard. Other sounds
came to his ears from far away, running past
him through the air from every side, and from in-
credible distances, all flocking down into the Wadi
bed to join the parent note that summoned them.
The Desert was giving voice. And memory, lifting
her hood yet higher, showed more of her grey,
mysterious face that searched his soul with questions.
Had he so soon forgotten that strange union of form
and sound which once was known to the evocative
rituals of olden days?
Henriot tried patiently to disentangle this desert-
music that their intoning voices woke, from the
humming of the blood in his own veins. But he
succeeded only in part. Sand was already in the air.
There was reverberation, rhythm, measure; there
was almost the breaking of the stream into great
syllables. But was it due, this strange reverberation,
to the countless particles of sand meeting in mid-
air about him, or—to larger bodies, whose surfaces
caught this friction of the sand and threw it back
against his ears? The wind, now rising, brought
particles that stung his face and hands, and filled his
eyes with a minute fine dust that partially veiled the
moonlight. But was not something larger, vaster
these particles composed now also on the way ?
Movement and sound and flying sand thus merged
themselves more and more in a single, whirling
torrent. But Henriot sought no commonplace
explanation of what he witnessed ; and here was the
proof that all happened in some vestibule of inner
experience where the strain of question and answer
had no business. One sitting beside him need not
328 PAN’S GARDEN
have seen anything at all. His host, for instance,
from Helouan, need not have been aware. Night
screened it; Helouan, as the whole of modern
experience, stood in front of the screen. This thing
took place behind it. He crouched motionless,
watching in some reconstructed ante-chamber of the
soul’s pre-existence, while the torrent grew into a
veritable tempest.
Yet Night remained unshaken ; the veil of moon-
light did not quiver ; the stars dropped their slender
golden pillars unobstructed. Calmness reigned every-
where as before. The stupendous representation
passed on behind it all.
But the dignity of the little human movements
that he watched had become now indescribable. The
gestures of the arms and bodies invested themselves
with consummate grandeur, as these two strode into
the caverns behind manifested life and drew forth
symbols that represented vanished Powers. The
sound of their chanting voices broke in cadenced
fragments against the shores of language. The
words Henriot never actually caught, if words they
were; yet he understood their purport — these
Names of Power to which the type of returning life
gave answer as they approached. He remembered
fumbling for his drawing materials, with such violence,
however, that the pencil snapped in two between his
fingers as he touched it. For now, even here, upon
the outer fringe of the ceremonial ground, there
was a stir of forces that set the very muscles working
in him before he had become aware of it... .
Then came the moment when his heart leaped
against his ribs with a sudden violence that was
almost pain, standing a second later still as death.
The lines upon the valley floor ceased their maze-
SAND 329
like dance. All movement stopped. Sound died
away. In the midst of this profound and dreadful
silence the sigils lay empty there below him. They
waited to be in-formed. For the moment of entrance
had come at last. Life was close.
And he understood why this return of life had
all along suggested a Procession and could be no
mere momentary flash of vision. From such appalling
distance did it sweep down towards the present.
Upon this network, then, of splendid lines, at length
held rigid, the entire Desert reared itself with walls
of curtained sand, that dwarfed the cliffs, the shoulder-
ing hills, the very sky. The Desert stood on end.
As once before he had dreamed it from his balcony
windows, it rose upright, towering, and close against
his face. It built sudden ramparts to the stars that
chambered the thing he witnessed behind walls no
centuries could ever bring down crumbling into dust.
He himself, in some curious fashion, lay just out-
side, viewing it apart. As froma pinnacle, he peered
within—peered down with straining eyes into the
vast picture-gallery Memory threw abruptly open.
And the picture spaced its noble outline thus against
the very stars. He gazed between columns, that
supported the sky itself, like pillars of sand that
Swept across the field of vanished years. Sand
poured and streamed aside, laying bare the Past.
For down the enormous vista into which he gazed,
as into an avenue running a million miles towards a tiny
point, he saw this moving Thing that came towards
him, shaking loose the countless veils of sand the
ages had swathed about it. The Ka of buried
Egypt wakened out of sleep. She had heard the
potent summons of her old, time-honoured ritual.
She came. She stretched forth an arm towards the
330 PAN’S GARDEN
worshippers who evoked her. Out of the Desert,
out of the leagues of sand, out of the immeasurable
wilderness which was her mummied Form and Body,
she rose and came. And this fragment of her he
would actually see—this little portion that was obedient
to the stammered and broken ceremonial. ‘The
partial revelation he would witness yet so vast,
even this little bit of it, that it came as a Procession
and a host.
For a moment there was nothing. And then the
voice of the woman rose in a resounding cry that
filled the Wadi to its furthest precipices, before it
died away again to silence. That a human voice
could produce such volume, accent, depth, seemed
half incredible. The walls of towering sand swallowed
it instantly. But the Procession of life, needing a
group, a host, an army for its physical expression,
reached at that moment the nearer end of the huge
avenue. It touched the Present; it entered the
world of men.
X
THE entire range of Henriot’s experience, read,
imagined, dreamed, then fainted into unreality
before the sheer wonder of what he saw. In the brief
interval it takes to snap the fingers the climax was
thus so hurriedly upon him. And, through it all, he
was clearly aware of the pair of little human figures,
man and woman, standing erect and commanding at
the centre—knew, too, that she directed and con-
trolled, while he in some secondary fashion supported
her—and ever watched. But both were dim, dropped
somewhere into a lesser scale. It was the knowledge
of their presence, however, that alone enabled him
to keep his powers in hand at all. But for these two
human beings there within possible reach, he must
have closed his eyes and swooned.
For a tempest that seemed to toss loose stars
about the sky swept round about him, pouring up
the pillared avenue in front of the procession. A
blast of giant energy, of liberty, came through. For-
wards and backwards, circling spirally about him
like a whirlwind, came this revival of Life that sought
to dip itself once more in matter and in form. It
came to the accurate out-line of its form they had
traced for it. He held his mind steady enough to
realise that it was akin to what men call a ‘descent’
of some ‘spiritual movement’ that wakens a body of
331
332 PAN’S GARDEN
believers into faith—a race, an entire nation ; only
that he experienced it in this brief, concentrated
form before it has scattered down into ten thousand
hearts. Here he knew its source and essence, behind
the veil. Crudely, unmanageable as yet, he felt it,
rushing loose behind appearances. There was this
amazing impact of a twisting, swinging force that
stormed down as though it would bend and coil the
very ribs of the old stubborn hills. It sought to
warm them with the stress of its own irresistible life-
stream, to beat them into shape, and make pliable
their obstinate resistance. Through all things the
impulse poured and spread, like fire at white heat.
Yet nothing visible came as yet, no alteration in
the actual landscape, no sign of change in things
familiar to his eyes, while impetus thus fought against
inertia. He perceived nothing form-al. Calm and
untouched himself, he lay outside the circle of evoca-
tion, watching, waiting, scarcely daring to breathe,
yet well aware that any minute the scene would
transfer itself from memory that was subjective to
matter that was objective. |
And then, in a flash, the bridge was built, and the
transfer was accomplished. How or where he did
not see, he could not tell. It was there before he
knew it—there before his normal, earthly sight. He
saw it, as he saw the hands he was holding stupidly
up to shield his face. For this terrific release of
force long held back, long stored up, latent for
centuries, came pouring down the empty Wadi bed
prepared for. its reception. Through stones and sand
and boulders it came in an impetuous hurricane of
power. ‘The liberation of its life appalled him. All
that was free, untied, responded instantly like chaff ;
loose objects fled towards it ; there was a yielding in
SAND 333
the hills and precipices; and even in the mass of
Desert which provided their foundation. The hinges
of the Sand went creaking in the night. It shaped
for itself a bodily outline.
Yet, most strangely, nothing definitely moved.
How could he express the violent contradiction? For
the immobility was apparent only—a sham, a counter-
feit; while behind it the essential deing of these
things did rush and shift and alter. He saw the two
things side by side: the outer immobility the senses
commonly agree upon, and this amazing flying-out
of their inner, invisible substance towards the vortex
of attracting life that sucked them in. For stubborn
matter turned docile before the stress of this returning
life, taught somewhere to be plastic. It was being
moulded into an approach to bodily outline. A
mobile elasticity invaded rigid substance. The two
officiating human beings, safe at the stationary centre,
and himself, just outside the circle of operation, alone
remained untouched and unaffected. But a few feet
in any direction, for any one of them, meant— instant-
aneous death. They would be absorbed into the
vortex, mere corpuscles pressed into the service of
this sphere of action of a mighty Body. .. .
Flow these perceptions reached him with such
conviction, Henriot could never say. He knew it,
because he fe/t it. Something fell about him from
the sky that already paled towards the dawn. The
stars themselves, it seemed, contributed some part of
the terrific, flowing impulse that conquered matter
and shaped itself this physical expression.
Then, before he was able to fashion any pre-
conceived idea of what visible form this potent life
might assume, he was aware of further change. It
came at the briefest possible interval after the beginning
334 PAN’S GARDEN
—this certainty that, to and fro about him, as yet
however indeterminate, passed Magnitudes that were
stupendous as the desert. There was beauty in them
too, though a terrible beauty hardly of this earth at
all. Uarged
with danger that I could not..keep.my voice from
trembling when I spoke.
I watched his hard, bleak face; I noticed how
thin he was, and the curious, oily brightness of his
steady eyes. They did not glitter, but they drew
you with a sort of soft, creamy shine like Eastern
eyes. And everything he said or did announced
what I may dare to call the suction of his presence.
His nature achieved this result automatically. He_
dominated us all, yet so gently that until it was
accomplished no one noticed it.
Before five minutes had passed, however, I was
aware of one thing only. My mind focussed ex-
clusively upon it, and so vividly that I marvelled
the others did not scream, or run, or do something
violent to prevent it. And it was this: that,
separated merely by some dozen yards or so, this
man, vibrating with the acquired vitality of others,
stood within easy reach of that spot of yawning
emptiness, waiting and eager to be filled. Farth
scented her prey.
THE TRANSFER 353
These two active ‘ entree * were within fighting
distance ; he so thin, so hard, so keen, yet really
spreading large with the loose ‘surround’ of others’
life he had appropriated, so practised and triumphant ;
that other so patient, deep, with so mighty a
~ draw of the whole earth behind it, and—ugh !|—so
obviously aware that its opportunity at last had come.
I saw it all as plainly as though I watched two
great animals prepare for battle, both unconsciously ;
yet in some inexplicable way I saw it, of course,
within me, and not externally. The conflict would
be hideously unequal. Each side had already sent
out emissaries, how long before I could not tell, for
the first evidence e gave that something was going
wrong with him was when his voice grew suddenly
confused, he missed his words, and his lips trembled
a moment and turned flabby. The next second his °
face betrayed that singular and horrid change, grow-
ing somehow loose about the bones of the cheek,
and larger, so that I remembered Jamie’s miserable
phrase. The emissaries of the two kingdoms, the
human and the vegetable, had met, I make it out,
in that very second. For the first time in his long
career of battening on others, Mr. Frene found
himself pitted against a vaster kingdom than he
knew and, so finding, shook inwardly in that little
part that was his definite actual self. He felt the
huge disaster coming.
‘Yes, John,’ he was saying, in his drawling, self-
congratulating voice, ‘Sir George gave me that car
—gave it tome as a present. Wasn’t it char a
and then broke off abruptly, stammered, drew breath,
stood up, and looked uneasily about him. For a
second there was a gaping pause. It was like the
click which starts some huge machinery moving—
2A
354 PAN’S GARDEN
that instant’s pause before it actually starts. The
whole thing, indeed, then went with the rapidity of
machinery running down and beyond control. I
thought of a giant dynamo working silently and
invisible.
‘What’s that?’ he cried, in a soft voice charged
with alarm. ‘What's that horrid place? And
some one’s crying there---who is it ?'
He pointed to the empty patch. Then, before
any one could answer, he started across the lawn
towards it, going every minute faster. Before any
one could move he stood upon the edge. He leaned
over—peering down into it. .
It seemed a few hours passed, but really they were
seconds, for time is measured by the quality and not
the quantity of sensations it contains. I saw it all
with merciless, photographic detail, sharply etched
amid the general confusion. Each side was intensely
active, but only one side, the human, exerted a// its
force—in resistance. The other merely stretched
out a feeler, as it were, from its vast, potential
strength ; no more was necessary. _It was such a
soft and easy victory. Oh, it was rather pitiful!
There was no bluster or great effort, on one side
at least. Close by his side I witnessed it, for I, it
seemed, alone had moved and followed him. No
one else stirred, though Mrs. Frene clattered noisily
with the cups, making some sudden impulsive gesture
with her hands, and Gladys, I remember, gave a cry
—it was like a little scream—‘ Oh, mother, it’s the
heat, isn’t it?” Mr. Frene, her father, was speechless,
pale as ashes.
But the instant I reached his side, it became clear
what had drawn me there thus instinctively. Upon
the other side, among the silver birches, stood little
THE TRANSFER 355
Jamie. He was watching. I experienced—for him
—one of those moments that shake the heart; a
liquid fear ran all over me, the more effective because
unintelligible really. Yet I felt that if I could know
all, and what lay actually behind, my fear would be
more than justified ; that the thing was awful, full
of awe. |
And then it happened—a truly wicked sight—
like watching a universe in action, yet all contained
within a small square foot of space. I think he
understood vaguely that if some one could only take
his place he might be saved, and that was why,
discerning instinctively the easiest substitute within
reach, he saw the child and called aloud to him across
the empty patch, ‘James, my boy, come here!’
His voice was like a thin report, but somehow
flat and lifeless, as when a rifle misses fire, sharp,
yet weak ; it had no ‘crack’ in it. It was really
supplication. And, with amazement, I heard my
own ring out imperious and strong, though I was
not conscious of saying it, ‘Jamie, don’t move.
Stay where you-are!’ But Jamie, the little child,
obeyed neither of us. Moving up nearer to the
edge, he stood there—laughing! I heard that
laughter, but could have sworn it did not come from
him. The empty, yawning patch gave out that
sound.
Mr. Frene turned sideways, throwing up his
arms. I saw his hard, bleak face grow somehow
wider, spread through the air, and downwards. A
similar thing, I saw, was happening at the same time
to his entire person, for it drew out into the atmo-
sphere in a stream of movement. The face for a
second made me think of those toys of green india-
rubber that children pull. It grew enormous. But
Sr5 PAN’S GARDEN
this was an external impression only. What actually
happened, I clearly understood, was that all this
vitality and life he had transferred from others to
himself for years was now in turn being taken from
him and transferred—elsewhere.
One moment on the edge he wobbled horribly,
then with that queer sideways motion, rapid yet
ungainly, he stepped forward into the middle of the
patch and fell heavily upon his face. His eyes,
as he dropped, faded shockingly, and across the
countenance was written plainly what I can only call
an expression of destruction. He looked utterly
destroyed. I caught a sound—from Jamie ?—but
this time not of laughter. It was like a gulp; it
was deep and muffled and it dipped away into the
earth. Again I thought of a troop of small black
horses galloping away down a subterranean passage
beneath my feet—plunging into the depths—their
tramping growing fainter and fainter into buried
distance. In my nostrils was a pungent smell of
earth.
And then—all passed. I came back into myself.
Mr. Frene, junior, was lifting his brother’s head from
the lawn where he had fallen from the heat, close
beside the tea-table. He had never really moved
from there. And Jamie, I learned afterwards, had
been the whole time asleep upon his bed upstairs,
worn out with his crying and unreasoning alarm.
Gladys came running out with cold water, sponge
and towel, brandy too—all kinds of things. ‘ Mother,
it was the heat, wasn’t it?’ I heard her whisper, but
I did not catch Mrs. Frene’s reply. From her face it
struck me that she was bordering on collapse herself.
Then the butler followed, and they just picked him
THE TRANSFER 357
up and carried him into the house. He recovered
even before the doctor came. |
But the queer thing to me is that I was convinced _
the others all had seen what I saw, only that no one
said a word about it; and to this day no one fas said
a word. And that was, perhaps, the most horrid
part of all.
From that day to this: I have scarcely heard a
mention of Mr. Frene, senior. It seemed as if he
dropped suddenly out of life. The papers never
mentioned him. His activities ceased, as it were.
Fis after-life, at any rate, became singularly in-
effective. Certainly he achieved nothing worth
public mention. But it may be only that, having
left the employ of Mrs. Frene, there was no par-
ticular occasion for me to hear anything.
The after-life of that empty patch of garden,
however, was quite otherwise. Nothing, so far as I
know, was done to it by gardeners, or in the way of
draining it or bringing in new earth, but even before
T left in the following summer it had changed. It
lay untouched, full of great, luscious, driving weeds
and creepers, very strong, full-fed, and bursting thick
with life.
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CLAIRVOY ANCE
In the darkest corner, where the firelight could not
reach him, he sat listening to the stories. His young
hostess occupied the corner on the other side; she
was also screened by shadows; and between them
stretched the horse-shoe of eager, frightened faces
that seemed all eyes. Behind yawned the blackness
of the big room, running as it were without a break
into the night.
Some one crossed on tiptoe and drew a blind up
with a rattle, and at the sound all started: through
the window, opened at the top, came a rustle of the
poplar leaves that stirred like footsteps in the wind.
‘There’s a strange man walking past the shrubberies,’
whispered a nervous girl; ‘I saw him crouch and
hide. I saw his eyes!’ ‘Nonsense!’ came sharply
from a male member of the group ; ‘it’s far too dark
to see. You heard the wind.’ For mist had risen
from the river just below the lawn, pressing close
against the windows of the old house like a soft grey
hand, and through it the stir of leaves was faintly
audible. . . . Then, while several called for lights,
others remembered that the hop-pickers were still
about in the lanes, and the tramps this autumn over-
bold and insolent. All, perhaps, wished secretly for
the sun. Only the elderly man in the corner sat
quiet and unmoved, contributing nothing. He had
363
364. PAN’S GARDEN
told no fearsome story. He had evaded, indeed, —
many openings expressly made for him, though fully
aware that to his well-known interest in psychical
things was partly due his presence in the week-end
party. ‘I never have experiences—that way,’ he said
shortly when some one asked him point blank for a
tale ; ‘I have no unusual powers.’ There was per-
haps the merest hint of contempt in his tone, but the
hostess from her darkened corner quickly and tact-
fully covered his retreat. And he wondered. For
he knew why she invited him. The haunted room,
he was well aware, had been specially allotted to him.
And then, most opportunely, the door opened
noisily and the host came in. He sniffed at the
darkness, rang at once for lamps, puffed at his big
curved pipe, and generally, by his mere presence,
made the group feel rather foolish. Light streamed
past him from the corridor. His white hair shone
like silver. And with him came the atmosphere of
common sense, of shooting, agriculture, motors, and
the rest. Age entered at that door. And his young
wife sprang up instantly to greet him, as though his
disapproval of this kind of entertainment might need
humouring.
It may have been the light—that witchery of
half-lights from the fire and the corridor, or it may
have been the abrupt entrance of the Practical upon
the soft Imaginative that traced the outline with
such pitiless, sharp conviction. At any rate, the
contrast—for those who had this inner clairvoyant
sight all had been prating of so glibly !—was un-
mistakably revealed. It was poignantly dramatic,
pain somewhere in it—-naked pain. For, as she
paused a moment there beside him in the light, this
childless wife of three years’ standing, picture of
CLAIRVOYANCE 365
youth and beauty, there stood upon the threshold
of that room the presence of a true ghost story.
And most marvellously she changed—her linea-
ments, her very figure, her whole presentment.
Etched against the gloom, the delicate, unmarked
face shone suddenly keen and anguished, and a rich
maturity, deeper than any mere age, flushed all her
little person with its secret grandeur. Lines started
into being upon the pale skin of the girlish face, lines
of pleading, pity, and love the daylight did not show,
and with them an air of magic tenderness that be-
trayed, though for a second only, the full soft glory
of a motherhood denied, yet somehow mysteriously
enjoyed. About her slenderness rose all the deep-
bosomed sweetness of maternity, a potential mother
of the world, and a mother, though she might know
no dear fulfilment, who yet yearned to sweep into
her immense embrace all the little helpless things
that ever lived.
Light, like emotion, can play strangest tricks.
The change pressed almost upon the edge of
revelation, . . . Yet, when a moment later lamps
were brought, it is doubtful if any but the silent
guest who had told no marvellous tale, knew no
psychical experience, and disclaimed the smallest
clairvoyant faculty, had received and registered the
vivid, poignant picture. For an instant it had
flashed there, mercilessly clear for all to see who
were not blind to subtle spiritual wonder thick with
pain. And it was not so much mere picture of youth
and age ill-matched, as of youth that yearned with
the oldest craving in the world, and of age that had
slipped beyond the power of sympathetically divining
it. . . . It passed, and all was as before.
The husband laughed with genial good-nature,
366 PAN’S GARDEN
not one whit annoyed. ‘They’ve been frightening
you with stories, child,’ he said in his jolly way, and
put a protective arm about her. ‘Haven't they
now? ‘Tell me the truth. Much better,’ he added,
‘have joined me instead at billiards, or for a game of
Patience, eh?’ She looked up shyly into his face,
and he kissed her on the forehead. ‘Perhaps they
have—a little, dear,’ she said, ‘but now that you've
come, I feel all right again.” ‘Another night of
this, he added in a graver tone, ‘and you'd be at
your old trick of putting guests to sleep in the
haunted room. I was right after all, you see, to
make it out of bounds.’ He glanced fondly, pater-
nally down upon her. Then he went over and
poked the fire into a blaze. Some one struck up
a waltz on the piano, and couples danced. All trace
of nervousness vanished, and the butler presently
brought in the tray with drinks and biscuits. And
slowly the group dispersed. Candles were lit. They
passed down the passage into the big hall, talking in
lowered voices of to-morrow’s plans. The laughter
died away as they went up the stairs to bed, the silent
guest and the young wife lingering a moment over
the embers.
‘You have not, after all then, put me in your
haunted room?’ he asked quietly. ‘ You mentioned,
you remember, in your letter
‘I admit,’ she replied at once, her manner gracious
beyond her years, her voice quite different, ‘that I
wanted you to sleep there—some one, I mean, who
really knows, and is not merely curious. But—for-
give my saying so—when I saw you —she laughed
very slowly—‘and when you told no marvellous
story like the others, I somehow felt ;
© But I never see anything ’ he put in hurriedly.
CLAIRVOY ANCE 367
‘You fee/, though,’ she interrupted swiftly, the
passionate tenderness in her voice but half suppressed.
‘I can tell it from your
‘Others, then,’ he interrupted abruptly, almost
bluntly, ‘have slept there—sat up, rather ?’
‘Not recently. My husband stopped it.’ She
paused a second, then added, ‘I had that room—for
a year—when first we married.’
The other’s anguished look flew back upon her
little face like a shadow and was gone, while at the
sight of it there rose in himself a sudden deep rush
of wonderful amazement beckoning almost towards
worship. He did not speak, for his voice would
tremble.
‘I had to give it up,’ she finished, very low.
‘Was it so terrible ?’ after a pause he ventured.
She bowed her head. ‘I had to change,’ she
repeated softly.
‘And since then—zow—you see nothing?’ he
asked.
Her reply was singular. ‘Because I will not,
not because it’s gone.’ .. . He followed her in
silence to the door, and as they passed along the
passage, again that curious great pain of emptiness,
of loneliness, of yearning rose upon him, as of a sea
that never, never can swim beyond the shore to reach
the flowers that it loves .. .
‘Hurry up, child, or a ghost will catch you,’ cried
her husband, leaning over the banisters, as the pair
moved slowly up the stairs towards him. There was
a moment's silence when they met. The guest took
his lighted candle and went down the corridor.
Good-nights were said again. They moved away,
she to her loneliness, he to his un-haunted room.
And at his door he turned. At the far end of the
368 PAN’S GARDEN
passage, silhouetted against the candle-light, he
watched them—the fine old man with his silvered
hair and heavy shoulders, and the slim young wife
with that amazing air as of some great bountiful
mother of the world for whom the years yet passed
hungry and unharvested. They turned the corner,
and he went in and closed his door.
Sleep took him very quickly, and while the mist
rose up and veiled the countryside, something else,
veiled equally for all other sleepers in that house but
two, drew on towards its climax. . . . Some hours
later he awoke; the world was still, and it seemed
the whole house listened ; for with that clear vision
which some bring out of sleep, he remembered that
there had been no direct denial, and of a sudden
realised that this big, gaunt chamber where he lay was ~
after all the haunted room. For him, however, the
entire world, not merely separate rooms in it, was ever
haunted ; and he knew no terror to find the space
about him charged with thronging life quite other
than his own. . . . He rose and lit the candle,
crossed over to the window where the mist shone grey,
knowing that no barriers of walls or door or ceiling
could keep out this host of Presences that poured so
thickly everywhere about him. It was like a wall of
being, with peering eyes, small hands stretched out,
a thousand pattering wee feet, and tiny voices crying
in a chorus very faintly and beseeching. . . . The
haunted room! Was it not, rather, a temple vesti-
bule, prepared and sanctified by yearning rites few men
might ever guess, for all the childless women of the
world? How could she know that 4e would under-
stand—this woman he had seen but twice in all his life ?
And how entrust to him so great a mystery that was
her secret? Had she so easily divined in him a
CLAIRVOYANCE 369
similar yearning to which, long years ago, death had
denied fulfilment? Was she clairvoyant in the true
sense, and did all faces bear on them so legibly this
great map that sorrow traced? .. .
And then, with awful suddenness, mere feelings
dipped away, and something concrete happened. The
handle of the door had faintly rattled. He turned.
The round brass knob was slowly moving. And
first, at the sight, something of common fear did grip
him, as though his heart had missed a beat, but on
the instant he heard the voice of his own mother,
now long beyond the stars, calling to him to go softly
yet with speed. He watched a moment the feeble
efforts to undo the door, yet never afterwards could
swear that he saw actual movement, for something in
him, tragic as blindness, rose through a mist of tears
and darkened vision utterly. . . .
He went towards the door. He took the handle
very gently, and very softly then he opened it.
Beyond was darkness. He saw the empty passage,
the edge of the banisters where the great hall yawned
below, and, dimly, the outline of the Alpine photo-
graph and the stuffed deer’s head upon the wall.
And then he dropped upon his knees and opened
wide his arms to something that came in upon un-
certain, viewless feet. All the young winds and.
flowers and dews of dawn passed with it. . . filling
him to the brim . . . covering closely his breast and
eyes and lips. There clung to him all the small
beginnings of life that cannot stand alone . . . the
little helpless hands and arms that have no confid-
ence . . . and when the wealth of tears and love
that flooded his heart seemed to break upon the
frontiers of some mysterious yet impossible fulfilment,
he rose and went with curious small steps towards
2B
370 PAN’S GARDEN
the window to taste the cooling, misty air of that
other dark Emptiness that waited so patiently there
above the entire world. Hedrew thesash up. The
air felt soft and tender as though there were some-
where children in it too—children of stars and
flowers, of mists and wings and music, all that the
Universe contains unborn and tiny. ... . And when
at length he turned again the door was closed. ‘The
room was empty of any life but that which lay so
wonderfully blessed within himself. And this, he
felt, had marvellously increased and multiplied. . . .
Sleep then came back to him, and in the morning
he left the house before the others were astir, plead-
ing some overlooked engagement. For he had seen
Ghosts indeed, but yet not ghosts that he could talk
about with others round an open fire. |
)
Tue LavenvpER Room.
THE GOLDEN FLY
THE GOLDEN FLY
Ir fell upon him out of a clear sky just when
existence seemed on its very best behaviour, and he
savagely resented the undeserved affliction of it.
Involving him in an atrocious scandal that reflected
directly upon his honour, it destroyed in a moment
the erection his entire life had so laboriously built
up—his reputation. In the eyes of the world he
was a broken, discredited man, at the very moment,
moreover, when his most cherished ambitions
touched fulfilment. And the cruelty of it appalled
his sense of justice, for it was impossible to vindicate
himself without inculpating others who were dearer
to him than life. It seemed more than he could
bear; and the grim course he contemplated—
decision itself as yet hung darkly waiting in the
background—appeared the only way of escape that
offered.
He had discussed the matter with friends until
his brain whirled. Their sympathy maddened him,
with hints of gui s’excuse s'accuse, and he turned
at last in desperation to something that could not
answer back. For the first time in his life he
turned to Nature—to that dead, inanimate Nature he
had left to poets and rhapsodising women : ‘I must
face it alone,’ he put it. For the Finger of God
was a phrase without meaning to him, and his entire
375
376 PAN’S GARDEN
being contained no trace of the religious instinct.
He was a business man, honest, selfish, and ambitious ;
and the collapse of his worldly position was para-
mount to the collapse of the universe itself — his
universe, at any rate. This ‘crumbling of the uni-
verse’ was the thought he took out with him. He
left the house by the path that led into solitude,
and reached the heathery expanse that formed one of
the breathing-places of the New Forest. There he
flung himself down wearily in the shadow of a little
pine-copse. And his crumbled universe lay down
with him, for he could not escape it.
Taking the pistol from the hip-pocket where it
hurt him, he lay upon his back and watched the
clouds. Half stunned, half dazed, he stared into
the sky. The perfumed wind played softly on his —
eyes; he smelt the heather-honey ; golden flies
hung motionless in the air, like coloured pins
fastening the sunshine against the blue curtain of the
summer, while dragon-flies, like darting shuttles, wove
across its pattern their threads of gleaming bronze.
He heard the petulant crying of the peewits, and
watched their tumbling flight. Below him tinkled a
rivulet, its brown water rippling between banks of
peaty earth. Everywhere was singing, peace, and
careless unconcern. |
And this lordly indifference of Nature calmed
and soothed him. Neither human pain nor the
injustice of man could shift the key of the water,
alter the peewits’ cry a single tone, nor influence one
fraction of an inch those cloudy frigates of vapour
that sailed the sky. The earth bulged sunwards
as she had bulged for centuries. The power of her
steady gait, superbly calm, breathed everywhere with
grandeur — undismayed, unhasting, and supremely
THE GOLDEN FLY 377
confident. . . . And, like the flash of those golden
flies, there leaped suddenly upon him this vivid
thought: that his world of agony lay neatly
buttoned up within the tiny space of his own brain.
Outside himself it had no existence at all. His mind
contained it—the minute interior he called his heart.
From this vaster world about him it lay utterly
apart, like deeds in the black boxes of japanned tin
he kept at the office, shut off from the universe,
huddled in an overcrowded space within his
skull.
How this commonplace thought reached him,
garbed in such startling novelty, was odd enough ;
for it seemed as though the fierceness of his pain
had burned away something. His thoughts it merely
enflamed ; but this other thing it consumed. Some-
thing that had obscured clear vision shrivelled before
it as a piece of paper, eaten up by fire, dwindles
down into a thimbleful of unimportant ashes. The
thicket of his mind grew half transparent. At the
farther end he saw, for the first time—light. The
perspective of his inner life, hitherto so enormous,
telescoped into the proportions of a miniature.
Just as momentous and significant as before, it was
somehow abruptly different —seen from another
point of view. The suffering had burned up rubbish
he himself had piled over the head of a little Fact.
Like a point of metal that glows yet will not burn,
he discerned in the depths of him the essential shining
fact that not all this ruinous conflagration could
destroy. And this brilliant, indestructible kernel was
—his Innocence. The rest was self-reared rubbish :
opinion of the world. He had magnified an atom
into a universe... .
Pain, as it seemed, had cleared a way for the
378 PAN’S GARDEN
sublimity of Nature to approach him. The calm
old Universe rolled past. The deep, majestic Day
gave him a push, as though the shoulder of some
star had brushed his own. He had thought his
feelings were the world: instead, they were merely
his way of looking at it. The actual ‘world’ was
some glorious, unchanging thing he never saw direct.
His attitude of mind was but a peephole into it.
The choice of his particular peephole, moreover, lay
surely within the power of his individual will. The
anguish, centred upon so small a point, had seemed to
affect the entire spread universe around him, whereas
in reality it affected nothing but his attitude of mind
towardsit. The truism struck him like a blow between
the eyes, that a man is what he thinks or feels himself to
be. It leaped the barrier between words and meaning.
The intellectual concept became a hard-edged fact,
because he realised it—for the first time in his very
circumscribed life. And this dreadful pain that had
made even suicide seem desirable was entirely a
fabrication of his own mind. The universe about
him rolled on just the same in the majesty of its
eternal purpose. His tiny inner world was clouded,
but the glory of this stupendous world about him was
undimmed, untroubled, unaffected. Even death
itself 114s
With a swift smash of the hand he crushed the
golden fly that settled on his knee. The murder
was done impulsively, utterly without intention.
He watched the little. point of gold quiver for a
moment among the hairs of the rough tweed ; then
lie still for ever . . . but the scent of heather-honey
filled the air as before; the wind passed sighing
through the pines; the clouds still sailed their un-
charted sea of blue. There lay the whole spread surface
THE GOLDEN FLY 379
of the Forest in the sun. Only the attitude of the
golden fly towards it all was gone. A single, tiny
point of view had disappeared. Nature passed on
calmly and unhasting ; she took no note.
Then, with a rush of awe, another thought flashed
through him: Nature fad taken note. There was
a difference everywhere. Not a sparrow falleth,
he remembered, without God knowing. God was
certainly in Nature somewhere. His clumsy senses
could not register this difference, yet it was there.
His own small world, fed by these senses, was after
all the merest little corner of Existence. To the
whole of Existence, that included himself, the golden
fly, the sun, and all the stars, he must somehow
answer for his crime. It was a wanton interference
with a sublime and sovereign Purpose that he now
divined for the first time. He looked at the wee
point of gold lying still and silent in the forest of
hairs. He realised the enormity of his act. It could
not have been graver had he put out the sun, or the
little, insignificant flame of his own existence. He
had done a criminal, evil thing, for he had put an
end to a certain point of view; had wiped it out;
made it impossible. Had. the fly been quicker, less
easily overwhelmed, or more tenacious of the scrap
of universal life it used, Nature would at this instant
be richer for its little contribution to the whole of
things—to which he himself also belonged. And
wherein, he asked himself, did he differ from that fly
in the importance, the significance of his contribution
to the universe? The soul. ..? He had never
given the question a single thought ; but if the scrap
of life he owned was called a soul, why should that
point of golden glory not comprise one too? Its
minute size, its trivial purpose, its few hours of
380 - PAN’S GARDEN
apparently futile existence . . . these formed no true
criterion... 4!
Similarly, the thought rushed over him, a Hand
was being stretched out to crush himself. His pain
was the shadow of its approach ; anger in his heart,
the warning. Unless he were quick enough, adroit
and skilled enough, he also would be wiped out,
while Nature continued her slow, unhasting way
without him. His attitude towards the personal
pain was really the test of his ability, of his merit—
of his right to survive. Pain teaches, pain develops,
pain brings growth: he had heard it since his copy-
book days. But now he realised it, as again thought
leaped the barrier between familiar words and mean-
ing. In his attitude of mind to his catastrophe lay
his salvation or his . . . death.
In some such confused and blundering fashion,
because along unaccustomed channels, the truth
charged into him to overwhelm, yet bringing with
it an unwonted sense of joy that seemed to break a
crust which long had held back-—life. Thus tapped,
these sources gushed forth and bubbled over, spread
about his being, flooded him with hope and courage,
above all with—calmness. Nature held forces just
as real and living as human sympathy, and equally
able to modify the soul. And Nature was always
accessible. A sense of huge companionship, denied
him by the littleness of his fellow-men, stole sweetly
over him. It was amazingly uplifting, yet fear came
close behind it, as he realised the presumption of his
former attitude of cynical indifference. “These Powers
were aware of his petty insolence, yet had not crushed
him. . . . It was, of course, the awakening of the
religious instinct in a man who hitherto had wor-
shipped merely a rather low-grade form of intellect.
THE GOLDEN FLY 381
And, while the enormous confusion of it shook
him, this sense of incommunicable sweetness remained.
Bright haunting eyes, with love in them, gazed at
him from the blue; and this thing that came so
close, stood also far away upon the line of the horizon.
It was everywhere. It filled the hollows, but towered
over him as well towards the pinnaces of cloud. It
was in the sharpness of the peewits’ cry, and in the
water's murmur. It whispered in the pine-boughs,
and blazed in every patch of sunlight. And it was
glory, pure and simple. It filled him with a sense of
strength for which he could find but one description
— Triumph.
And so, first, the anger faded from his mind and
crept away. Resentment then slunk after it. Revolt
and disappointment also melted, and bitterness gave
place to the most marvellous peace the man had ever
known. Then came resignation to fill the empty
places. Pain, as a means and not an end, had cleared
the way, though the accomplishment was like a
miracle. But Conversion is a miracle. No ordinary
pain can bring it. This anguish he understood now
in a new relation to life—as something to be taken
willingly into himself and dealt with, all regardless of
public opinion. What people said and thought was
in their world, not in his. It was less than nothing.
The pain cultivated dormant tracts. The terror also
purged. It disclosed... . |
He watched the wind, and even the wind brought
revelation ; for without obstacles in its path it would
be silent. He watched the sunshine, and the sun-
shine taught him too ; for without obstacles to fling
it back against his eye, he could never see it. He
would neither hear the tinkling water nor feel the
summer heat unless both one and other overcame
382 PAN’S GARDEN
some reluctant medium in their pathways. And,
similarly with his moral being —his pain resulted
from the friction of his personal ambitions against
the stress of some noble Power that sought to lift
him higher. ‘That Power he could not know direct,
but he recognised its strain against him by the resist-
ance it generated in the inertia of his selfishness.
His attitude of mind had switched completely round.
It was what the preachers termed development through
suffering.
Moreover, he had acquired this energy of resistance
somehow from the wind and sun and the beauty of
a common summer's day. ‘Their peace and strength
had passed into himself. Unconsciously on his way
home he drew upon it steadily. He tossed the pistol
into a pool of water. Nature had healed him; and
Nature, should he turn weak again, was always there.
It was very wonderful. He wanted to sing. .. .
BREAMORE.
SPECIAL DELIVERY
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SPECIAL DELIVERY
MerIKLEJoHN, the curate, was walking through the
Jura when this thing happened to him. There is
only his word to vouch for it, for the inn and its
proprietor are now both of the past, and the local
record of the occurrence has long since assumed the
proportions of a picturesque but inaccurate legend.
As a true story, however, it stands out from those of
its kidney by the fact that there seems to have been
a deliberate intention in it. It saved a life—a life
the world had need of. And this singular rescue
of a man of value to the best order of things makes
one feel that there was some sense, even logic, in the
affair.
Moreover, Meiklejohn asserts that it was the
only psychic experience he ever knew. Things of
the sort were not a ‘habit’ with him. His rescue,
thus, was not one of those meaningless interventions
that puzzle the man in the street while they
exhilarate the psychologist. It was a deliberate and
very determined affair.
Meiklejohn found himself that hot August night
in one of the valleys that slip like blue shadows
hidden among pine-woods between the Swiss frontier
and France. He had passed Ste. Croix earlier in
the day; Les Rasses had been left behind about
four o’clock ; Buttes, and the Val de Travers, where
387
388 PAN’S GARDEN
the cement of many a London street comes from,
was his goal. But the light failed long before he
reached it, and he stopped at an inn that appeared
unexpectedly round a corner of the dusty road,
built literally against the great cliffs that formed one
wall of the valley. He was so footsore, and his
knapsack so heavy, that he turned in without more
ado. |
Le Guillaume Tell was the name of the inn—dirty
white walls, with thin, almost mangy vines scrambling
over the door, and the stream brawling beneath
shuttered windows with green and white stripes all
patched by sun and rain. His room was sevenpence,
his dinner of soup, omelette, fruit, cheese, and coffee,
a franc. The prices suited his pocket and made him
feel comfortable and at home. Immediately behind -
the hotel—the only house visible, except the sawmill
across the road, rose the ever-crumbling ridges and
precipices that formed the flanks of Chasseront and
ran on past La Sagne towards the grey Aiguilles de
Baulmes. He was in the Jura fastnesses where
tourists rarely penetrate. 7
Through the low doorway of the inn he carried
with him the strong atmosphere of thoughts that had
accompanied him all day—dreams of how he intended
to spend his life, plans of sacrifice and effort. For
his hopes of great achievement, even then at twenty-
five, were a veritable passion in him, and his desire
to spend himself for humanity a devouring flame.
So occupied, indeed, was his mind with the emotions
belonging to this line of thinking, that he hardly
noticed the singular, though exceedingly faint, sense
of alarm that stirred. somewhere in the depths of
his being as he passed within that doorway where
the drooping vine-leaves clutched at his hat. He
SPECIAL DELIVERY 389
remembered it a little later. The sense of danger
had been touched in him. He felt at the moment
only a hint of discomfort, too vague to claim
definite recognition. Yet it was there—the instant
he stepped within the threshold—and afterwards
he distinctly recalled its sudden and unaccountable
advent.
His bedroom, though stuffy, as from windows
long unopened, was clean ; carpetless, of course, and
primitive, with white pine floor and walls, and the
short bed, smothered under its duvet, very creaky.
And very short! For Meiklejohn was well over
six feet.
‘I shall have to curl up, as usual, in a knot,’ was
his reflection as he measured the bed with his eye ;
‘though to-night I think—after my twenty miles in
this air
The thought refused to complete itself. He was
going to add that he was tired enough to have slept
on a stone floor, but for some undefined reason
the same sense of alarm that had tapped him on
the shoulder as he entered the inn returned now
when he contemplated the bed. A sharp repugnance
for that bed, as sudden and unaccountable as it
was curious, swept into him—and was gone again
before he had time to seize it wholly. It was in
reality so slight that he dismissed it immediately as
the merest fancy; yet, at the same time, he was
aware that he would rather have slept on another
bed, had there been one in the room—and then the
queer feeling that, after all, perhaps, he would ot sleep
therein the end at all. How this idea came to him
he never knew. He records it, however, as part of
the occurrence.
After eight o’clock a few peasants, and workmen
390 PAN’S GARDEN
from the sawmill, came in to drink their demi-litre
of red wine in the common room downstairs, to
stare at the unexpected guest, and to smoke their
vile tobacco. They were neither picturesque nor
amusing —simply dirty and slightly malodorous.
At nine o’clock Meiklejohn knocked the ashes from
his briar pipe upon the limestone window-ledge, and
went upstairs, overpowered with sleep. The sense of
alarm had utterly disappeared; his mind was busy
once more with his great dreams of the future—
dreams that materialised themselves, as all the world
knows, in the famous Meiklejohn Institutes. . . .
Berthoud, the proprietor, short and sturdy, with
his faded brown coat and no collar, slightly confused
with red wine and a ‘tourist’ guest, showed him the
way up. For, of course, there was no femme de
chambre.
‘You have the corridor all to yourself,’ the man
said ; showed him the best corner of the landing to
shout from in case he wanted anything—there being
no bell—eyed his boots, knapsack, and flask with
considerable curiosity, wished him good-night, and
was gone. He went downstairs with a noise like a
horse, thought the curate, as he locked the door after
him.
The windows had been open now fora couple of
hours, and the room smelt sweet with the odours of
sawn wood and shavings, the resinous perfume of the
surrounding hosts of pines, and the sharp, delicate
touch of a lonely mountain valley where civilisation
has not yet tainted the air. Whiffs of coarse
tobacco, pungent without being offensive, came
invisibly through the cracks of the floor. Primitive
and simple it all was—a sort of vigorous ‘back-
woods’ atmosphere. Yet, once again, as he turned
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to examine the room after Berthoud’s steps had
blundered down below into the passage, something
rose faintly within him to set his nerves mysteriously
a-quiver.
Out of these perfectly simple conditions, without
the least apparent cause, the odd feeling again came
over him that he was—in danger.
The curate was not much given to analysis. He
was a man of action pure and simple, asa rule. But
to-night, in spite of himself, his thoughts went
plunging, searching, asking. For this singular
message of dread that emanated as it were from the
room, or from some article of furniture in the room
perhaps — that bed still touched his mind with a
peculiar repugnance—demanded somewhat insistently
for an explanation. And the only explanation that
suggested itself to his unimaginative mind was that
the forces of nature hereabouts were—overpowering 5
that, after the slum streets and factory chimneys of
the last twelve months, these towering cliffs and
smothering pine-forests communicated to his soul a
word of grandeur that amounted to awe. Inadequate
and far-fetched as the explanation seems, it was the
only one that occurred to him ; and its value in this
remarkable adventure lies in the fact that he con-
nected his sense of danger partly with the bed and
partly with the mountains.
‘I felt once or twice,’ he said afterwards, ‘as
though some powerful agency of a spiritual kind
were all the time trying to beat into my stupid brain
a message of warning.’ And this way of expressing
it is more true and graphic than many paragraphs of
attempted analysis.
Meiklejohn hung his clothes by the open window
to air, washed, read his Bible, looked several times
392 PAN’S GARDEN —
over his shoulder without apparent cause, and then
knelt down to pray. He was a simple and devout
soul; his Self lost in the yearning, young but sincere, to
live for humanity. He prayed, as usual, with intense
earnestness that his life might be preserved for use
in the world, when in the middle of his prayer—there
came a knocking at the door.
Hastily rising from his knees, he opened. The
sound of rushing water filled the corridor. He heard
the voices of the workmen below in the drinking-
room. But only darkness stood in the passages,
filling the house to the very brim. No one was
there. He returned to his interrupted devotions.
‘] imagined it,’ he said to himself. He continued
his prayers, however, longer than usual. At the
back of his thoughts, dim, vague, half-defined only, —
lay this lurking sense of uneasiness—that he was in
danger. He prayed earnestly and simply, as a child
might pray, for the preservation of his life. . . .
Again, just as he prepared to get into bed,
struggling to make the heaped-up duvet spread all
over, came that knocking at the bedroom door. It
was soft, wonderfully soft, and something within him
thrilled curiously in response. He crossed the floor
to open—then hesitated. Suddenly he understood
that that knocking at the door was connected with
the sense of danger in his heart. In the region of
subtle intuitions the two were linked. With this
realisation there came over him, he declares, a singular
mood in which, as in a revelation, he knew that
Nature held forces that might somehow communicate
directly and positively with—human beings. This
thought rushed upon him out of the night, as it were.
It arrested his movements. He stood there upon
the bare pine boards, hesitating to open the door. ©
SPECIAL DELIVERY 393
The delay thus described lasted actually only a
few seconds, but in those few seconds these thoughts
tore rapidly and like fire through his mind. The
beauty of this lost and mysterious valley was certainly
in his veins. He felt the strange presence of the
encircling forests, soft and splendid, their million
branches sighing in the night airs. The crying of
the falling water touched him. He longed to transfer
their peace and power to the hearts of suffering
thousands of men and women and children. The
towering precipices that literally dropped their pale
walls over the roof of the inn lifted his thoughts to
their own wind-swept heights ; he longed to convey
their message of inflexible strength to the weak-kneed
folk in the slums where he worked. He was peculiarly
conscious of the presence of these forces of Nature—
the irresistible powers that regenerate as easily as they
destroy.
All this, and far more, swept his soul like a huge
wind as he stood there, waiting to open the door in
answer to that mysterious soft knocking.
And there, when at length he opened, stood the
figure of a man—staring at him and smiling.
Disappointment seized him instantly. He had
expected, almost believed, that he would see some-
thing un-ordinary ; and instead, there stood a man
who had merely mistaken the door of his room, and
was now bowing his apology for the interruption.
Then, to his amazement, he saw that the man
beckoned: the figure was some one who sought to
draw him out.
‘Come with me,’ it seemed to say.
But Meiklejohn only realised this afterwards, he
says, when it was too late and he had already shut
the door in the stranger’s face. For the man had
394 PAN’S GARDEN
withdrawn into the darkness a little, and the curate
had taken the movement for a mere acknowledg-
ment of his mistake instead of—as he afterwards felt
—a sign that he should follow.
‘And the moment the door was shut,’ he says,
‘I felt that it would have been better for me to have
gone out into the passage to see what he wanted.
It came over me that the man had something
important to say to me. I had missed it.’
For some seconds, it seemed, he resisted the
inclination to go after him. He argued with him-
self; then turned to his bed, pulled back the sheets
and heavy duvet, and was met sharply again with
the sense of repugnance, almost of fear, as before.
It leaped out upon him—as though the drawing
back of the blankets had set free some cold blast of —
wind that struck him across the face and made him
shiver.
At the same moment a shadow fell from behind
his shoulder and dropped across the pillow and
upper half of the bed. It may, of course, have been
the magnified shadow of the moth that buzzed about
the pale-yellow electric light in the ceiling. He
does not pretend to know. It passed swiftly, how-
ever, and was gone; and Meiklejohn, feeling less
sure of himself than ever before in his life, crossed
the floor quickly, almost running, and opened the
door to go after the man who had knocked—twice.
For in reality less than half a minute had passed
since the shutting of the door and its reopening.
But the corridor was empty. He marched down
the pine-board floor for some considerable distance.
Below he saw the glimmer of the hall, and heard the
_ voices of the peasants and workmen from the sawmill
as they still talked and drank their red wine in the
SPECIAL DELIVERY 395
publicroom. ‘That sound of falling water, as before,
filled the air. Darkness reigned. But the person—
the messenger—who had twice knocked at his door was
gone utterly. . . . Presently a door opened down-
stairs, and the peasants clattered out noisily. He
turned and went back to bed. The electric light
was switched off below. Silence fell. Conquering
his strange repugnance, Meiklejohn, with a prayer
on his lips, got into bed, and in less than ten minutes
was sound asleep.
‘I admit,’ he says, in telling the story, ‘ that what
happened afterwards came so swiftly and so con-
fusingly, yet with such a storm of overwhelming
conviction of its reality, that its sequence may be
somewhat blurred in my memory, while, at the same
time, I see it after all these years as though it was a
thing of yesterday. But in my sleep, first of all, I
again heard that soft, mysterious tapping—not in
the course of a dream of any sort, but sudden and
alone out of the dark blank of forgetfulness. |
tried to wake. At first, however, the bonds of
unconsciousness held me tight. I had to struggle
in order to return to the waking world. There was
a distinct effort before I opened my eyes; and in
that slight interval I became aware that the person
who had knocked at the door had meanwhile opened:
it and passed into the room. I had left the lock
unturned. The person was close beside me in the
darkness—not in utter darkness, however, for a
rising three-quarter moon shed its faint silver upon
the floor in patches, and, as I sprang swiftly from
the bed, I noticed something alive moving towards
me across the carpetless boards. Upon the edges of
a patch of moonlight, where the fringe of silver and
shadow mingled, it stopped. Three feet away from
396 PAN’S GARDEN
it I, too, stopped, shaking in every muscle. It lay
there crouching at my very feet, staring up at me.
But was it man or was it animal? For at first I
took it certainly for a human being on all fours;
but the next moment, with a spasm of genuine
terror that half stopped my breath, it was borne in
upon me that the creature was—nothing human.
Only in this way can I describe it. It was identical
with the human figure who had knocked before and
beckoned to me to follow, but it was another presenta-
' tion of that figure.
‘And it held (or brought, if you will) some
tremendous message for me—some message of
tremendous importance, I mean. The first time I
had argued, resisted, refused to listen. Now it had
returned in a form that ensured obedience. Some
quite terrific power emanated from it—a power that
I understood instinctively belonged to the mountains
and the forests and the untamed elemental forces of
Nature. Amazing as it may sound in cold blood,
I can only say that I felt as though the towering
precipices outside had sent me a direct warning—
that my life was in immediate danger.
‘For a space that seemed minutes, but was
probably less than a few seconds, I stood there
trembling on the bare boards, my eyes riveted upon
the dark, uncouth shape that covered all the floor
beyond. I saw no limbs or features, no suggestion
of outline that I could connect with any living form
I know, animate or inanimate. Yet it moved and
stirred all the time—whirled within itself, describes
it best ; and into my mind sprang a picture of an
immense dark wheel, turning, spinning, whizzing so
_ rapidly that it appears motionless, and uttering that
low and ominous thunder that fills a great machinery-
SPECIAL DELIVERY 397
room of a factory. Then I thought of Ezekiel’s
vision of the Living Wheels. . . .
‘And it must have been at this instant, I think,
that the muttering and deep note that issued from
it formed itself into words within me. At any
rate, I heard a voice that spoke with unmistakable
intelligence :
‘««Come!” it said. “ Come out—at once!” And
the sense of power that accompanied the Voice was
so splendid that my fear vanished and I obeyed
instantly without thinking more. I followed; it
led. It altered in shape. The door was open. It
ran silently in a form that was more like a stream of
deep black water than anything else I can think of—out
of the room, down the stairs, across the hall, and up
to the deep shadows that lay against the door leading
into the road. There I lost sight of it.’
Meiklejohn’s only desire, he says, then was to
rush after it—to escape. This he did. He under-
stood that somehow it had passed through the door
into the open air. Ten seconds later, perhaps even
less, he, too, was in the open air. He acted almost
automatically ; reason, reflection, logic all swept
away. Nowhere, however, in the soft moonlight
about him was any sign of the extraordinary appari-
tion that had succeeded in drawing him out of the.
inn, out of his bedroom, out of his—bed. He
stared in a dazed way at everything—just beginning
to get control of his faculties a bit—wondering what
in the world it all meant. That huge spinning form,
he felt convinced, lay hidden somewhere close beside
him, waiting for the end. The danger it had
enabled him to avoid was close at hand. ... He
knew that, he says... .
There lay the meadows, touched here and there
398 PAN’S GARDEN
with wisps of floating mist; the stream roared and
tumbled down its rocky bed to his left ; across the
road the sawmill lifted its skeleton-like outline,
moonlight shining on the dew-covered shingles of
the roof, its lower part hidden in shadow. The
cold air of the valley was exquisitely scented.
To the right, where his eye next wandered, he
saw the thick black woods rising round the base of
the precipices that soared into the sky, sheeted with
silvery moonlight. His gaze ran up them to the far
ridges that seemed to push the very stars farther into
the heavens. ‘Then, as he saw those stars crowding
the night, he staggered suddenly backwards, seizing
the wall of the road for support, and catching his
breath. For the top of the cliff, he fancied, moved.
A group of stars was for a fraction of a second—_
hidden. ‘The earth—the scenery of the valley, at
least—turned about him. Something prodigious
was happening to the solid structure of the world.
The precipices seemed to bend over upon the valley.
The far, uppermost ridge of those beetling cliffs
shifted downwards. Meiklejohn declares that the
way its movement hid momentarily a group of stars
was the most startling—for some reason horrible—
thing he had ever witnessed.
Then came the roar and crash and thunder as the
mass toppled, slid, and finally—took the frightful
plunge. How long the forces of rain and frost had
been chiselling out the slow detachment of the giant
slabs that fell, or whence came the particular extra
little push that drove the entire mass out from the
parent rock, no one can know. Only one thing is
certain: that it was due to no chance, but to the
nicely and exactly calculated results of balanced cause
and effect. From the beginning of time it had been
SPECIAL DELIVERY 399
known-—it might have been accurately calculated,
rather—that this particular thousand tons of rock
would break away from the crumbling tops of the
precipices and crash downwards with the roar of
many tempests into the lost and mysterious mountain
valley where Meiklejohn the curate spent such and
such a night of such and such a holiday. It was just
as sure as the return of Halley’s comet.
‘I watched it,’ he says, ‘because I couldn’t do
anything else. I would far rather have run—lI was
so frightfully close to it all—but I couldn’t move a
muscle. And in a few seconds it was over. A
terrific wind knocked me backwards against the
stone wall; there was a vast clattering of smaller
stones, set rolling down the neighbouring couloirs ;
a steady roll of echoes ran thundering up and down
the valley ; and then all was still again exactly as it
had been before. And the curious thing was—
ascertained a little later, as you may imagine, and
not at once—that the inn, being so closely built up
against the cliffs, had almost entirely escaped. The
great mass of rock and trees had taken a leap farther
out, and filled the meadows, blocked the road,
crushed the sawmill like a matchbox, and dammed
up the stream; but the inn itself was almost
untouched.
‘ Almost—for a single block of limestone, about
the size of a grand piano, had dropped straight upon
one corner of the roof and smashed its way through
my bedroom, carrying everything it contained down
to the level of the cellar, so terrific was the
momentum of its crushing journey. Not a stick of
the furniture was afterwards discoverable—as such.
The bed seems to have been caught by the very
middle of the fallen mass.’
400 PAN’S GARDEN
The confusion in Meiklejohn’s mind may be
imagined—the rush of feeling and emotion that
swept over him. Berthoud and _ the peasants
mustered in less than a dozen minutes, talking,
crying, praying. Then the stream, dammed up by
the accumulation of rock, carried off the debris
of the broken roof and walls in less than half an
hour. The rock, however, that swept the room and
the empty bed of Meiklejohn the curate into dust,
still lies in the valley where it fell.
‘The only other thing that I remember,’ he says,
in telling the story, ‘is that, as I stood there, shaking
with excitement and the painful terror of it all,
before Berthoud and the peasants had come to
count over their number and learn that no one was
missing—while I stood there, leaning against the ~
wall of the road, something rose out of the white
dust at my feet, and, with a noise like the whirring
of some immense projectile, passed swiftly and
invisibly away up into space—so far as I could judge,
towards the distant ridges that reared their motionless
outline in moonlight beneath the stars.’
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THE DESTRUCTION OF SMITH
_ TEN years ago, in the western States of America, I once
met Smith. But he was no ordinary member of the
clan: he was Ezekiel B. Smith of Smithville. He
was Smithville, for he founded it and made it live.
It was in the oil region, where towns spring upon
the map in a few days like mushrooms, and may be
destroyed again in a single night by fire and earth-
quake. On a hunting expedition Smith stumbled
upon a natural oil well, and instantly staked his .
claim ; a few months later he was rich, grown into
affluence as rapidly as that patch of wilderness grew
into streets and houses where you could buy anything
from an evening’s gambling to a tin of Boston baked
pork-and-beans. Smith was really a tremendous
fellow, a sort of human dynamo of energy and pluck,
with rare judgment in his great square head—the
kind of judgment that in higher walks of life makes
statesmen. His personality cut through the difficulties
of life with the clean easy force of putting his whole
life into anything he touched. ‘God’s own luck,’
his comrades called it ; but really it was sheer ability
and character and personality. ‘he man had power.
From the moment of that ‘oil find’ his rise was
very rapid, but while his brains went into a dozen
other big enterprises, his heart remained in little
Smithville, the flimsy mushroom town he had created.
405
406 PAN’S GARDEN
Fis own life was in it. It was his baby. He
spoke tenderly of its hideousness. Smithville was
an intimate expression of his very self.
Ezekiel B. Smith I saw once only, for a few
minutes; but I have never forgotten him. It was
the moment of his death. And we came across him
on a shooting trip where the forests melt away
towards the vast plains of the Arizona desert. The
personality of the man was singularly impressive. I
caught myself thinking of a mountain, or of some
elemental force of Nature so sure of itself that hurry
is never necessary. And his gentleness was like the
gentleness of women. Great strength often—the
greatest always—has tenderness in it, a depth of
tenderness unknown to pettier life.
Our meeting was coincidence, for we were hunting
in a region where. distances are measured by hours
and the chance of running across white men very
rare. For many days our nightly camps were pitched
in spots of beauty where the loneliness is akin to the
loneliness of the Egyptian Desert. On one side the
mountain slopes were smothered with dense forest,
hiding wee meadows of sweet grass like English
lawns ; and on the other side, stretching for more
miles than a man can count, ran the desolate alkali
plains of Arizona where tufts of sage-brush are the
only vegetation till you reach the lips of the Colorado
Canyons. Our horses were tethered for the night
beneath the stars. "Two backwoodsmen were cooking
dinner. The smell of bacon over a wood fire mingled
with the keen and fragrant air—when, suddenly, the
horses neighed, signalling the approach of one of
their own kind. Indians, white men—probably
another hunting party—were within scenting distance,
though it was long before my city ears caught any
THE DESTRUCTION OF SMITH 407
sound, and still longer before the cause itself entered
the circle of our firelight.
I saw a square-faced man, tanned like a redskin, in
a hunting shirt and a big sombrero, climb down slowly
from his horse and move towards us, keenly searching
with his eyes; and at the same moment Hank,
looking up from the frying-pan where the bacon and
venison spluttered in a pool of pork-fat, exclaimed,
‘Why, it’s Ezekiel B.!’ The next words, addressed
to Jake, who held the kettle, were below his breath :
‘And if he ain’t all broke up! Jest look at the
eyes on him!’ I saw what he meant—the face
of a human being distraught by some extraordinary
emotion, a soul in violent distress, yet betrayal well
kept under. Once, as a newspaper man, I had seen
a murderer walk to the electric chair. The expression
was similar. Death was behind the eyes, not in them.
Smith brought in with him—terror.
In a dozen words we learned he had been hunting
for some weeks, but was now heading for Tranter, a
‘“stop-off’ station where you could flag the daily
train 140 miles south-west. He was making for
Smithville, the little town that was the apple of his
eye. Something ‘was wrong’ with Smithville. No
one asked him what—it is the custom to wait till
information is volunteered. But Hank, helping him
presently to venison (which he hardly touched), said
casually, ‘Good hunting, Boss, your way?’; and the
brief reply told much, and proved how eager he was
to relieve his mind by speech. ‘I’m glad to locate
your camp, boys,’ he said. ‘That’s luck. There’s
something going wrong ’—and a catch came into
his voice—‘with Smithville.’ Behind the laconic
statement emerged somehow the terror the man
experienced. For Smith to confess cowardice and in
408 PAN’S GARDEN
the same breath admit mere ‘luck,’ was equivalent
to the hysteria that makes city people laugh or cry. —
It was genuinely dramatic. I have seen nothing
more impressive by way of human tragedy—though
hard to explain why—than this square-jawed, daunt-
less man, sitting there with the firelight on his rugged
features, and saying this simple thing. For how in
the world could he know it ?
In the pause that followed, his Indians came
gliding in, tethered the horses, and sat down without
a word to eat what Hank distributed. But nothing
was to be read on their impassive faces. Redskins,
whatever they may feel, show little. Then Smith
gave us another pregnant sentence. ‘ They heard it
too,’ he said, in a lower voice, indicating his three
men; ‘they saw it jest as I did.’ He looked up
into the starry sky a second. ‘It’s hard upon our
trail right now, he added, as though he expected
something to drop upon us from the heavens. And
from that moment I swear we all felt creepy. The
darkness round our lonely camp hid terror in its
folds; the wind that whispered through the dry
sage-brush brought whispers and the shuffle of
watching figures ; and when the Indians went softly
out to pitch the tents and get more wood for the fire,
I remember feeling glad the duty was not mine.
Yet this feeling of uneasiness is something one rarely
experiences in the open. It belongs to houses,
overwrought imaginations, and the presence of evil
men. Nature gives peace and security. ‘That we
all felt it proves how real it was. And Smith, who
felt it most, of course, had brought it.
‘There’s something gone wrong with Smithville’
was an ominous statement of disaster. He said it
just as a man tn civilised lands might say, ‘My wife
THE DESTRUCTION OF SMITH 409
is dying ; a telegram’s just come. I must take the
train. But how he felt so sure of it, a thousand
miles away in this uninhabited corner of the wilder-
ness, made us feel curiously uneasy. For it was an
incredible thing—yet true. Weall felt shat. Smith
did not imagine things. A sense of gloomy
apprehension settled over our lonely camp, as
though things were about to happen. Already
they stalked across the great black night, watching
us with many eyes. The wind had risen, and
there were sounds among the trees. I, for one,
felt no desire to go to bed. The way Smith sat
there, watching the sky and peering into the sheet
of darkness that veiled the Desert, set my nerves
all jangling. He expected something—but what?
It was following him. Across this tractless wilder-
ness, apparently above him against the brilliant stars,
Something was ‘hard upon his trail.’
Then, in the middle of painful silences, Smith
suddenly turned loquacious—further sign with him
of deep mental disturbance. He asked questions
like a schoolboy—asked them of me too, as being
‘an edicated man.’ But there were such queer things
to talk about round an Arizona camp-fire that Hank
clearly wondered for his sanity. He knew about
the ‘wilderness madness’ that attacks some folks.
He let his green cigar go out and flashed me signals
to be cautious. He listened intently, with the eyes
of a puzzled child, half cynical, half touched with
superstitious dread. For, briefly, Smith asked me
what I knew about stories of dying men appearing
at a distance to those who loved them much. He
had read such tales, ‘ heard tell of ’em,’ but ‘are they
dead true, or are they jest little feery tales?’ |
satisfied him as best I could with one or two authentic
410 _ PAN’S GARDEN
stories. Whether he believed or not I cannot say 3
but his swift mind jumped in a flash to the point.
‘Then, if that kind o’ stuff is true,’ he asked, simply, —
‘it looks as though a feller had a dooplicate of him-
self—sperrit maybe—that gits loose and active at
the time of death, and heads straight for the party
it loves best. Ain’t that so, Boss?’ I admitted the
theory was correct. And then he startled us with a
final question that made Hank drop an oath below
his breath—sure evidence of uneasy excitement in
the old backwoodsman. Smith whispered it, looking
over his shoulder into the night: ‘Ain’t it jest
possible then,’ he asked, ‘seeing that men an’ Nature
is all made of a piece like, that places too have
this dooplicate appearance of theirselves that gits
loose when they go under?’
It was difficult, under the circumstances, to ex-
plain that such a theory ad been held to account
for visions of scenery people sometimes have, and
that a city may have a definite personality made up
of all its inhabitants—moods, thoughts, feelings, and
passions of the multitude who go to compose its
life and atmosphere, and that hence is due the odd
changes in a man’s individuality when he goes from
one city to another. Nor was there any time to do
so, for hardly had he asked his singular question
when the horses whinnied, the Indians leaped to their
feet as if ready for an attack, and Smith himself
turned the colour of the ashes that lay in a circle
of whitish-grey about the burning wood. There was
an expression in his face of death, or, as the Irish
peasants say, ‘ destroyed.’
‘’That’s Smithville,” he cried, springing to his feet,
then tottering so that I thought he must fall into the
flame ; ‘that’s my baby town—got loose and huntin’
THE DESTRUCTION OF SMITH 411
for me, who made it, and love it better’n anything
on Gawd’s green earth!’ And then he added with
a kind of gulp in his throat as of a man who wanted
to cry but couldn’t: ‘And it’s going to bits—it’s
dying—and I’m not thar to save it a
He staggered and I caught his arm. The sound
of his frightened, anguished voice, and the shuffling
of our many feet among the stones, died away into
the night. We all stood, staring. The darkness
came up closer. The horses ceased their whinnying.
For a moment nothing happened. Then Smith turned
slowly round and raised his head towards the stars
as though he saw something. ‘Hear that?’ he
whispered. ‘It’s coming up close. That’s what I’ve
bin hearing now, on and off, two days and nights.
Listen!’ His whispering voice broke horribly ;
the man was suffering atrociously. For a moment
he became vastly, horribly animated—then stood still
as death.
But in the hollow silence, broken only by the
sighing of the wind among the spruces, we at first
heard nothing. Then, most curiously, something
like rapid driven mist came trooping down the sky,
and veiled a group of stars. With it, as from an
enormous distance, but growing swiftly nearer, came
noises that were beyond all question the noises of a
city rushing through the heavens. From all sides
they came; and with them there shot a reddish,
streaked appearance across the misty veil that swung
so rapidly and softly between the stars and our eyes.
Lurid it was, and in some way terrible. A sense of
helpless bewilderment came over me, scattering my
faculties as in scenes of fire, when the mind struggles
violently to possess itself and act for the best. Hank,
holding his rifle ready to shoot, moved stupidly
412 PAN’S GARDEN
round the group, equally at a loss, and swearing in-
cessantly below his breath. For this overwhelming
certainty that Something living had come upon us
from the sky possessed us all, and I, personally, felt
as if a gigantic Being swept against me through the
night, destructive and enveloping, and yet that it
was not one, but many. Power of action left me. I
could not even observe with accuracy what was going
on. I stared, dizzy and bewildered, in all directions ;
but my power of movement was gone, and my feet
refused to stir. Only I remember that the Redskins
stood like figures of stone, unmoved.
And the sounds about us grew into a roar. The
distant murmur came past us like a sea. There was
a babel of shouting. Here, in the deep old wilder-
ness that knew no living human beings for hundreds ©
of leagues, there was a tempest of voices calling,
crying, shrieking ; men’s hoarse clamouring, and the
high screaming of women and children. Behind it
ran a booming sound like thunder. Yet all of it,
while apparently so close above our heads, seemed in
some inexplicable way far off in the distance—muted,
faint, thinning out among the quiet stars. More
like a memory of turmoil and tumult it seemed than
the actual uproar heard at first hand. And through
it ran the crash of big things tumbling, breaking,
falling in destruction with an awful detonating thunder
of collapse. I thought the hills were toppling down
upon us. A shrieking city, it seemed, fled past us
through the sky.
How long it lasted it is impossible to say, for my
power of measuring time had utterly vanished. A
dreadful wild anguish summed up all the feelings I
can remember. It seemed I watched, or read, or
dreamed some desolating scene of disaster in which
THE DESTRUCTION OF SMITH $413
human life went overboard wholesale, as though one
threw a hatful of insects into a blazing fire. This
idea of burning, of thick suffocating smoke and
savage flame, coloured the entire experience. And
the next thing I knew was that it had passed away as
completely as though it had never been at all; the
stars shone down from an air of limpid clearness, and
—there was a smell of burning leather in my nostrils.
I just stepped back in time to save my feet. I had
moved in my excitement against the circle of hot
ashes. Hank pushed me back roughly with the
barrel of his rifle.
But, strangest of all, I understood, as by some
flash of divine intuition, the reason of this abrupt
cessation of the horrible tumult. The Personality of
the town, set free and loosened in the moment of
death, had returned to him who gave it birth, who
loved it, and of whose life it was actually an
expression. The Being of Smithville was literally
a projection, an emanation of the dynamic, vital
personality of its puissant creator. And, in death,
it had returned on him with the shock of an accu-
mulated power impossible for a human being to
resist. For years he had provided it with life—but
gradually. \t now rushed back to its source, thus
concentrated, in a single terrific moment.
‘ That’s him,” I heard a voice saying from a great
distance as it seemed. ‘He’s fired his last shot—!’
and saw Hank turning the body over with his rifle-
butt. And, though the face itself was calm beneath
the stars, there was an attitude of limbs and body
that suggested the bursting of an enormous shell
that had twisted every fibre by its awful force yet
somehow left the body as a whole intact.
We carried ‘it’ to Tranter, and at the first real
Wid PAN’S GARDEN
station along the line we got the news by telegraph :
‘Smithville wiped out by fire. Burned two days and
nights. Loss of life, 3000.’ And all the way in
my dreams I| seemed still to hear that curious, dread-
ful cry of Smithville, the shrieking city rushing
headlong through the sky.
Hank’s Came.
((
Beate NE
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY
I
SOME men grow away from places, others grow into
them: It isa curious and delicate matter. Before
now, a man has been thrown out by his own property,
yet his successor made immediately at home there.
Once let Imagination dwell upon this psychology
of places and it will travel very far. Here lies
a great mystery, entangled with the mystery of
life itself, delicately baited, too. Only the utterly
obtuse, one thinks, can ignore the hint offered by
Nature —that there is this very definite relation-
ship existing between places and human beings, and
that the aggressive attitude is not always chiefly upon
the side of the latter.
So it is that there are spots of country—mere bits
of scenery, a valley, plain, or river bank, estate or
even garden—that undeniably bid a man stay, and
welcome; or for no ascertainable reason reject him,and
make him anxious to leave. Campers, looking for a
night’s resting-place, know this well; and so may
owners of estates and houses,—campers on a larger
scale, seeking to settle somewhere for the few years
of a life-time. Neither one nor other, however, one
thinks, unless he be a swift-minded poet with vivid
divination, gets quite to the root of the matter.
Very suggestive are the mysterious processes by
which such results are sometimes brought about, a
419
420 PAN’S GARDEN
certain pathos in them too. For the rejected owner
is usually of that hard intellectual type that is utterly
insensible to the fairy flails of Beauty, and seeks,
therefore, in vain through all his stores of logic for a
reasonable cause and effect ; whereas the accepted
one, exquisitely adjusted though he may be to the
seduction of the place that takes him in, yet is
unable to tell in words what really happens, or .to
express a tithe of that sweet marvellous explanation
that lies concealed within his heart. The one denies
it, the other makes wild, poetic guesses ; but neither
really knows.
Dick Eliot understood something of the two
points of view perhaps, because he experienced both
acceptance and rejection ; and this story, of how a
place first welcomed him, then violently tossed him out
again, is as queer a case of such relationship as one
may ever hear. But, then, Dick Eliot combined in
himself a measure of both types of mind; he was
intellectual, and knew that two and two make four,
but he was also mystical, and knew that they make
five or nothing, or a million—that everything is One,
and One is everything. Neither was, perhaps, very
strong in him, because life had not provided the
opportunity for one or other’s exclusive develop-
ment ; but both existed side by side in his general
mental composition. And they resulted in a level so
delicately poised that the apparent balance yet had
instability at its roots.
Leaving England at twenty-two or three—there
were misunderstandings with his University, where
in classics and philosophy he had promised well ;
with his step-parents who regarded him as well lost ;
and in a sense, that yet did not affect his honour,
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 421
with his country’s law—he had since met life in
difficult, rough places. He had lived. All manner
of experiences had been his; he had known starvation
in strange cities, and had more than once been close
to death—queer kinds of death. But, also, he had
been close to earth, and the earth had wonderfully’
taught him. The results of this teaching, not
recognised at the time, came out later to puzzle and
amaze him. For years he dwelt in the wilderness
with life reduced to its essentials—the big, crude,
thundering facts of it—so that he had come to regard
scholarship, once so valued, as over-rated, and action
as the sole reality. The poetic, mystical side of him
passed into temporary abeyance. Worldly achieve-
ment and ambition led him. This, however, was a
mood of youth only, a reaction due to the resentment
of his exile, and to the grievance he cherished against
the academic conventions—so he deemed them—that
had cut him off from his inheritance.
At thirty, or thereabouts, he fell in love and
married—a vigorous personality of a woman with
Red Indian in her blood, picked up in some wild
escapade along the frontiers of Arizona and New
Mexico; and, within six months of marriage, the
death of an aunt had left him unexpected master of
this little gem of an estate in the south of England
where the following experience took place.
This impulsive action of an aunt whom he had
seen but once, due to her wish to spite the other
claimants rather than to any pretended love for him-
self, resulted in a radical change of life. He came
home, ignored by his relations, and ignoring them in
turn, The former love of books revived; the imagina-
tive point of view re-asserted itself; he saw life from
another angle. Action, after all, was but a part of
422 PAN’S GARDEN
it, another form of play. The mental life was the
reality ; he studied, meditated, wrote. Once more
the deep, poetic mystery of things lit all his thoughts
with wonder. Corrected by the hard experiences of
his early years, the philosopher and dreamer in him
‘assumed the upper hand, though the speculative
dreams he indulged were more sanely regulated
than before. The imagination was now more finely
tempered.
To look at, he was sometimes obviously forty-five,
yet at others could easily have passed for thirty :—a
tall, lean figure of a man ; spare, as though the wilder-
ness had taken that toll of him which no amount of
subsequent easy living could efface. Io see him was
to think of men toiling in a hard, stern land where
all things had to be conquered and nothing yielded
of itself, where, moreover, human life was cheap and
of small account. He was alert, always in training,
cheeks thin, neck sinewy, knees ready instantly to
turn a horse by grip alone, the reins unnecessary so
that both hands were free to fight. The eyes were — |
keen and dark, moustache clipped very short and
partly grizzled; deep furrows marked the jaw and
forehead ; but the muscular hands were young, the
fling of the shoulders young, the toss and set of the
big head young as well. And he always dressed in
riding breeches, with a strap about the waist instead
of braces. You might see him hitch them up as he
stepped back to leap the stream, or to take the pine
knolls with a run downhill.
Indeed, the imaginative side of him seemed almost
incongruous ; and that such a figure could conceal a
mystical, tenderly poetic side not one man in a
thousand need have guessed. But, in spite of these
severer traits, the character, you felt, was tender
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 423
enough upon its under side. It was merely that the
control of the body and emotions acquired in the
wilds had never been unlearned, and that no amount
of softer living could let it be forgotten.
About the rather grim and over-silent mouth, for
instance, there were marks like the touches of a flower
that sometimes made the sternness seem a clumsy
mask. An intuitive woman, or a child, must have
found him out at once.
Il
AFTER years spent as he had spent them among the
conditions of primitive lands, Dick Eliot came back
with his ‘uncivilised’ wife, to find that with the old
established values of English ‘ County’ existence they
had little or nothing in common. Their ostracism
by the neighbourhood has no place in this story,
except to show how it threw them back intensely
into the little property he had inherited. They lived
there a dozen years, isolated, childless, knowing that
solitude in a crowd which yet is never loneliness.
The ‘ Place,’ as they always called it, took them,
and welcome, to itself. The land, running to several
hundred acres, was comparatively worthless, mere
jumbled stretch of sand and pines and heathery hills ;
too remote from any building centre to be easily sold,
and of no avail for agricultural purposes. For which,
since he had just enough to live on quietly, both were
grateful: they could keep it lovely and unspoilt.
All round it, however, was an opulent, over-built-
upon country that they loathed, since they felt that
its quality, once admitted, would cause the Place
to wither and die. The gross surfeit of prosperous
houses, preserved woods, motoring hotels, and the
rest would settle on its virgin face. Builders and
business men would commercially appraise it, financiers
undress it publicly so that it would know itself naked
424
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 425
and ashamed. Deep down its soul would turn
weakly and diseased, then disappear, and their own
assuredly go with it.
For both had loved the Place at sight. She in
particular loved it—witha kind of rude enthusiasm
she forced, as it were, upon his gentler character.
Its combination of qualities fascinated her—the old-
world mellowness with the unkempt, untidy wildness.
The way it kept alive that touch of the wilderness
she had known from childhood, set in the midst of
so much over-civilised country all about, gave her
the feeling of having a little, precious secret world
entirely to herself. She forced this view with all the
vigour of her primitive poetry upon her husband till
he accepted it as his own. It became his own; only
she realised it more vitally than he did. The contrast
laid a spell upon her, and she would not hear of going
away. They lived there, in this miniature world, until
they knew it with such close intimacy that it became
identified with their very selves. She made him see
it through her eyes, so that the place was haunted,
saturated, invested with their moods of worship, love,
and wonder. It became a little mystery-world that
their feelings had turned living.
Thus when, after twelve years’ happiness together,
she died there, he stayed on, sole guardian as it were of
all she had loved so dearly. Too vital a man to
permit the slightest morbid growth which comes
from brooding, he yet lived among fond memories,
aware of her presence in every nook and glade, in
every tree, her voice in the tinkle of the stream, new
values everywhere. Each ridge and valley, made
familiar by her step and perfume, strengthened
recollection, and more than ever before the Place
426 PAN’S GARDEN
seemed interwoven with herself and him, subtle
expression of vanished joys. The Past stayed on
in it; it did not move away; it remained the
Present. Her death had doubly consecrated the
little estate, making it, so to speak, a sacrament of
dear communion. The only change, it seemed, was
that he identified it with her being more than with
himself or with the two of them. He guarded it
unspoilt and sweet because of her who held it once
so dear—as another man might have kept a flower she
had touched, a picture, or a dress that she had worn.
Now it was doubly safe from the damage she had
feared—-commercial spoliation. ‘Keep the Place as
it is, Dick,’ she had so often said with a vehemence
that belonged to her vigorous type, ‘I'd hate to see
it dirtied!’ For her the civilised country round
had always been ‘dirty.’ And he did so, almost
with the feeling that he was keeping her person clean
at the same time; for what a man thinks about is
real, and he had come to regard the Place and herself
as one.
Throwing himself into definite work to occupy
his mind, he kept it as the apple of his eye, living
in solitude, and cared for only by a motherly old
housekeeper (years ago his mother’s maid) whose
services he had by fortunate chance secured. He
spent his leisure time in writing—studies of obscure
periods in forgotten history that, when published,
merely added to the clutter of the world’s huge
mental lumber-room, to judge by the reviews. Once
he made a journey to his haunts of youth, sheir youth,
in Arizona, but only to return dissatisfied, with added
pain. He settled down finally then, throwing him-
self with commendable energy into his studies, till
the hurrying years brought him thus to forty-five.
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 427
Rarely he went to London and pored over musty
volumes in the British Museum Reading-room, but
after a day or two would hear the murmur of the
mill-wheel singing round that portentous, dreary
dome, and back he would come again, post-haste.
And perhaps he chose his line of study, rather than
more imaginative work, because it reasonably absorbed
him, while yet it stole no single emotion from his
past with her, nor trespassed upon the walking of
one dear faint ghost.
II
AND it was upon this gentle, solitary household that
suddenly Manya Petrovski descended with her
presence of wonder and of magic. Out of a clear
blue sky she dropped upon him and made herself
deliciously at home. Only daughter of his widowed
sister, married to a Russian, she was fourteen at the
time of her mother’s death; and the duty seemed
forced upon him with a conviction that admitted of
no denial. He had never seen the child in his life,
for she was born in the year that he returned to
England, family relations simply non-existent ; but
he had heard of her, partly from Mrs. Coove, his
housekeeper, and partly from tentative letters his
sister wrote from time to time, aiming at reconcilia-
tion. He only knew that she was backward to the
verge of being stupid, that she ‘loved Nature and
life out of doors,’ and that she shared with her
strange father a certain sulking moodiness that
seemed to have been so strong in his own _half-
civilised Slav temperament. He also remembered
that her mother, a curious mixture of puritanism
and weakly dread of living, had brought her up
strictly in the manufacturing city of the midlands
where they dwelt ‘wealthily,’ surrounded by an
atmosphere of artificiality that he deemed almost
criminal. For his sister, fostering old-fashioned
428
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 429
religious tendencies, believed that a visible Satan
haunted the frontiers of her narrow orthodoxy, and
would devour Manya as soon as look at her once
she strayed outside. She too had claimed, he
remembered, to love Nature, though her love of it
consisted solely in looking cleverly out of windows
at passing scenery she need never bother herself to
reach. Her husband’s violent tempers she had
likewise ascribed to his possession by a devil, if not
by t#he—her own personal—devil himself. And
when this letter, written on her death-bed, came
begging him, as the only possible relative, to take
charge of the child, he accepted it, as his character
was, unflinchingly, yet with the greatest possible
reluctance. Significant, too, of his character was
the detail that, out of many others surely far more
important, first haunted him : ‘She'll love Nature
(by which he meant the Place) in the way her
mother did—artificially. We shan’t get on a bit!’
—thus, instinctively, betraying what lay nearest to
his heart.
None the less, he accepted the position with-
out hesitation. There was no money ; his sister’s
property was found to be mortgaged several times
above its realisable value, and the child would
come to him without a penny. He went headlong
at the problem, as at so many other duties that had
faced him—puzzling, awkward duties—with a kind of
blundering delicacy native to his blood. ‘Got to be
done, no good dreaming about it,’ he said to himself
within a few hours of receiving the letter ; and when
a little later the telegram came announcing his sister’s
death, he added shortly with a grim expression,
‘Here goes, then!’ In this plucky, yet not
really impulsive decisiveness, the layer of character
430 PAN’S GARDEN
acquired in Arizona asserted itself. Action ousted
dreaming.
And in due course the preparations for the girl’s
reception were concluded. She would make the
journey south alone, and Mrs. Coove would meet
her. Moreover, evidence to himself at least of true
welcome, Manya should have the bedroom which
had been for years unoccupied—his wife’s.
For all that, he dreaded her arrival unspeakably.
‘She'll be bored here. She'll dislike the Place—
perhaps hate it. And I shall dislike her too.’
IV
Exrot ruled his little household well, because he
ruled himself. No one, from the tri-weekly gardener
to the rough half-breed Westerner who managed the
modest stable, felt the least desire to trifle with him.
Even Mrs. Coove, in the brief morning visits to
his study, did not care about asking him to repeat
some sentence that she had not quite caught or
understood. Yet, in a sense, as with all such men,
it was the woman who really managed him. ‘Mrs.’
Coove, big, motherly, spinster, divined the child
beneath the grim exterior, and simply played with
him. She it was who really ‘ran’ the household,
relieving him of all domestic worries, and she it was,
had he fallen ill—which, even for a day, he never did—
who would have nursed him into health again with
such tactfully concealed devotion that, while loving
the nursing, he would never have guessed the
devotion. ;
So it was largely upon Mrs. Coove that he secretiy
relied to welcome, manage, and look after his little
orphaned niece, while, of course, pretending that he
did it all himself.
‘She’ll want a companion, sir, of sorts—if I may
make so bold—some one to play with,’ she told him
when he had mentioned that later, of course, he
would provide a ‘governess or something’ when he
had first ‘sized up’ the child.
431
432 PAN’S GARDEN
He looked hard at her for a moment. He
realised her meaning, that the hostile neighbourhood
could be relied on to supply nothing of that kind.
‘Of course,’ he said, as though he had thought of
it himself.
‘She'll love the pony, sir, if she ain’t one of the
booky sort, which I seem to remember she ain’t,’
added Mrs. Coove, looking as usual as though just
about to. burst into tears. For her motherly face
wore a lachrymose expression that was utterly
deceptive. Her contempt for books, too, and
writing folk was never quite successfully concealed.
In silence he watched the old woman wipe her
moist hands upon a black apron, and the perplexities
of his new duties grew visibly before his eyes. She
had little notion that secretly her master stood a
little in awe of her superior domestic knowledge.
‘The pony and the woods,’ he suggested briefly.
‘A puppy or a kitten, sir, would help a bit—for
indoors, if I may make so bold,’ the housekeeper
ventured, with a passing gulp at her own audacity ;
‘and out of doors, sir, as you say, maybe she'll be
‘appy enough. Her pore mother taught——’
The long breath she had taken for this sentence
she meant to use to the last gasp if possible. But
her master cut her short.
‘Miss Manya arrives at six,’ he said, turning to his
books and papers. ‘The dog-cart, with you in it, to
meet her—please.’ The ‘please’ was added because
he knew her vivid dislike of being too high from the
ground, while judging correctly that the pleasure
would more than compensate her for this risk of
elevation. It was also intended to convey that he
appreciated her help, but deplored her wordiness.
Laconic even to surliness himself, he disliked long
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 433
phrases. It was a perpetual wonder to him why
even lazy people who detested effort would always
use a dozen words where two were more effective.
So Mrs. Coove, accustomed to his ways, departed,
with a curtsey that more than anything else
resembled a sudden collapse of the knees beneath
more than they could carry comfortably.
‘Thank you, sir; I'll see to it all right,’ she
said, obedient to his glance, beginning the sentence
in the room but finishing it in the passage. She
looked as though she would weep hopelessly once
outside, whereas really she felt beaming pleasure.
The compliment of being sent to meet Miss Manya
made her forget her dread of the elevated, swaying
dog-cart, as also of the silent half-breed groom who
drove it. Full of importance she went off to make
preparations.
And later, when Mrs. Coove was on her way to
the station five miles off, dangerously perched, as it
seemed to her, in mid-air, he made his way out slowly
into the woods, a vague feeling in him that there
was something he must say good-bye to. The Place
henceforth, with Manya in it, would be—not quite
the same. What change would come he could not
say, but something of the secrecy, the long-loved
tender privacy and wonder would depart. Another
would share it with him, a trespasser, in a sense an
outsider. And, as he roamed the little pine-grown
vales, the mossy coverts, and the knee-high bracken,
there stole into him this queer sensation that it all
was part of a living Something that constituted
almost a distinct entity. His wife inspired it, but,
also, the Place had a personality of its own, apart
from the qualities he had read into it. He realised,
for the first time, that it too might take an attitude
2F
434 PAN’S GARDEN
towards the new arrival. Everywhere, it seemed,
there was an air of expectant readiness. It was
aware. . . . It might possibly resent it.
And, for moments here and there, as he wandered,
rose other ideas in him as well, brought for the first
time into existence by the thought of the new
arrival. ‘This element, like a sudden shaft of sun-
light on a landscape, discovered to him a new
aspect of the mental picture. It was vague; yet
perplexed him not a little. And it was this: that
the thing he loved in all this little property,
thinking it always as his own, was in reality what
she had loved in it, the thing that she had made him see
through the lens of her own more wild, poetic vision.
What he was now saying good-bye to, the thing that
the expected intruder might change, or even oust,
was after all but a phantom memory—the aspect she
had built into it. This curious, painful doubt
assailed him for the first time. Was his love and
worship of the Place really an individual possession
of his own, or had it been all these years but her
interpretation of it that he enjoyed vicariously ?
The thought of Manya’s presence here etched this
possibility in sharp relief. Unwelcome, and instantly
dismissed, the thought yet obtruded itself—that his
feelings had not been quite genuine, quite sincere,
and that it was her memory, her so vital vision of
the Place he loved rather than the Place itself at first
hand.
For the idea that another was on the way to share
it stirred the unconscious query: What precisely
was it she would share?
And behind it came a still more subtle question-
ing that he put away almost before it was clearly
born: Was he really guite content with this
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 435
unambitious guardianship of the dream-estate, and
was the grievance of his exile so completely dead
that he would, under all possible conditions, keep
its loveliness inviolate and free from spoliation?
The coming of the child, with the new duties
involved, and the probable later claims upon his
meagre purse, introduced a worldly element that for
so long had slept in him. He wondered. The
ghosts all walked. But beside them walked other
ghosts as well. And this new, strange pain of
uncertainty came with them—sinister though
exceedingly faint suggestion that he had been
worshipping a phantom fastened into his heart by a
mind more vigorous than his own.
Ambition, action, practical achievement stirred a
little in their sleep.
And on his way back he picked some bits of heather
and bracken, a few larch twigs with little cones upon
them, and several sprays of pine. These he carried
into the house and up into the child’s bedroom,
where he stuck them about in pots and vases. The
flowers Mrs. Coove had arranged he tossed away.
For flowers in a room, or in a house at all, he never .
liked ; they looked unnatural, artificial, Flowers
and food together on a table seemed to him as dread-
ful as the sickly smelling wreaths people loved to
put on coffins. But leaves were different; and
earth was best of all. In his own room he had two
wide, deep boxes of plain earth, watered daily,
renewed from time to time, and more sweetly
scented than any flowers in the world.
Opening the windows to let in all the sun and air
there was, he glanced round him with critical
approval. To most the room must have seemed
436 PAN’S GARDEN
bare enough, yet he had put extra chairs and tables
in it, a sofa too, because he thought the child would
likethem. Personally, he preferred space about him ;
his own quarters looked positively unfurnished ;
rooms were cramped enough as it was, and useless
upholstery gave him a feeling of oppression. He
still clung to. essentials; and an empty room, like
earth and sky, was fine and dignified.
But Manya, he well knew, might feel differently,
and he sought to anticipate her wishes as best he
might. For Manya came from a big house where the
idea was to conceal every inch of empty space with
something valuable and useless ; and her playground
had been gardens smothered among formal flower-
beds—triangles, crescents, circles, anything that
parodied Nature—paths cut cleanly to neat patterns,
and plants that acknowledged their shame by grow-
ing all exactly alike without a trace of individuality.
He moved to the open window, gazing out across
the stretch of hill and heathery valley, thick with
stately pines. The wind sighed softly past his ears.
He heard the murmur of the droning mill-wheel,
the drum and tinkle of falling water mingling with
it. And the years that had passed since last he stood
and looked forth from this window came up close
and peered across his shoulder. The Past rose silently
beside him and looked out too. . . . He saw it all
through other eyes that once had so large a share in ©
fashioning it.
Again came this singular impression—that, while
he waited, the whole Place waited too. It knew that
she was coming. Another pair of feet would run
upon its face and surface, another voice wake all its
— little echoes, another mind seek to read its secret and
share the mystery of its being.
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 437
‘If Manya doesn’t like it !? struck with real
pain across his heart. But the thought did not
complete itself. Only, into the strong face came a
momentary expression of helplessness that sat_
strangely there. Whether the child would like
himself or not seemed a consideration of quite
minor importance.
A sound of wheels upon the gravel at the front
of the house disturbed his deep reflections, and,
shutting the door carefully behind him, he gave one
last look round to see that all was right, and then
went downstairs to meet her. ‘The sigh that floated
through his mind was not allowed to reach the lips ;
but another expression came up into his face. His
lips became compressed, and resolution passed into
his eyes. It was the look—and how he would have
laughed, perhaps, could he have divined it!—the
look of set determination that years ago he wore
when in some lonely encampment among the Bad
Lands something of danger was reported near.
With a sinking heart he went downstairs to meet
his duty.
But in the hall, scattering his formal phrases to
the winds, a boyish figure, yet with loose flying hair,
ran up against him, then stepped sharply back.
There was a moment’s pitiless examination.
‘Uncle Dick!’ he heard, cried softly. ‘Is that
what you’re like? But how wonderful!’ And he
was aware that a pair of penetrating eyes, set wide
apart in a grave but eager face, were mercilessly
taking him in. It was he who was being ‘sized up.’
No redskin ever made a more rapid and thorough
examination, nor, probably, a more accurate one.
‘Oh! I never thought you would look so kind
and splendid ! ’
438 PAN’S GARDEN
‘Me!’ he gasped, forgetting every single thing
he had planned to say in front of this swift-moving
creature who attacked him.
She came close up to him, her voice breathless still
but if possible softer, eyes shining like two little lamps.
‘I expected—from what Mother said—you’d be
—just Uncle Richard! And instead it’s only Uncle
—Uncle Dick !’
Here was unaffected sincerity indeed. He had
dreaded—he hardly knew why—some simpering
sentence of formality, or even tears at being lonely in
a strange house. And, in place of either came this
sort of cowboy verdict, straight as a blow from the
shoulder. It took his breath away. In his heart
something turned very soft and yearning. And yet
he—winced.
‘Nice drive?’ he heard his gruff voice asking.
For the life of him he could think of nothing else
to say. And the answer came with a little peal of
breathless laughter, increasing his amazement and
confusion.
‘I drove all the way. I made the blackie let me.
And the mothery person held on behind like a
bolster. It was glorious.’
At the same moment two strong, quick arms,
thin as a lariat, were round his neck. And he was
being kissed—once only, though it felt all over his
face. She stood on tiptoe to reach him, pulling his
head down towards her lips.
‘ How are you, Uncle, please ?’
‘Thanks, Manya,’ he said shortly, straightening
up in an effort to keep his balance, ‘all right. Glad
you are, too. Mrs. Coove, your ‘“ mothery person
_who held on like a bolster,” will take you upstairs
and wash you. Then food—soon as you like.’
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY § 439
He had not indulged in such a long sentence for
years. It increased his bewilderment to hear it.
Something ill-regulated had broken loose.
Mrs. Coove, who had watched the scene from
the background and doubtless heard the flattering
description of herself, moved forward with a
mountainous air of possession. Her face as usual
seemed to threaten tears, but there was a gleam in
her eyes which could only come from the joy of
absolute approval. With a movement of her arm
that seemed to gather the child in, she went
laboriously upstairs. The back of her alone proved
to any seeing eye that she had already passed
willingly into the state of abject slavery that all
instinctive mothers love.
‘We shan’t be barely five minutes, sir,’ she called
respectfully when half-way up; and the way she
glanced down upon her grim master, who stood still
with feet wide apart watching them, spoke further
her opinion—and her joy at it—that he too was
caught within her toils. ‘She’ll manage you, sir, if
I may make so bold,’ was certainly the thought her
words did not express.
They vanished round the corner—the heavy tread
and the light, pattering step. And he still stood on
there, waiting in the hall. A mist rose just before
his eyes ; he did not see quite clearly. In his heart
a surge of strong, deep feeling struggled upwards, but
was instantly suppressed. Manya had said another
thing that moved him far more than her childish
appreciation of himself, something that stirred him
to the depths most strangely.
For, when he asked her how she enjoyed the
drive, the girl had replied with undeniable sincerity,
looking straight into his eyes :
440 PAN’S GARDEN
‘The last bit was like a fairy-tale. Uncle, how
awfully this place must love you !’
She did not say, ‘ How you must love the place!’
And—she loathed the ‘dirty’ country all about.
Then, the first rush of excitement over, a sort of
shyness, curiously becoming, had settled down all
over her like a cloud. It settled down upon himself
as well. But—she had said the perfect thing. And
his doubts all vanished. It was—yes, surely—the
Place she loved.
And yet, when all was over, there passed through
him an unpleasant afterthought—as though Manya
had applied a test by which already something in
himself was found gravely wanting.
V
Wiru its sharp, pine-grown declivities, its tumbling
streams, stretches of open heather, and its miniature
forests of bracken, the dream-estate was like a
liliputian Scotland compressed into a few hundred
acres. All was in exquisite proportion.
The old house of rough grey stone, set in one
corner, looked out upon a wild, untidy garden that
melted unobserved into woods of mystery beyond,
and farther off rose sharp against the sky a series
of peaked knolls and ridges that in certain lights
looked like big hills many miles away. There were
diminutive fairy valleys you could cross in twenty
minutes; and several rivulets, wandering from the
moorlands higher up, formed the single stream that
once had worked the Mill.
But the Mill, standing a stone’s-throw from the
study windows, so that he heard the water singing
and gurgling almost among his book-shelves, had
for a century ground nothing more substantial than
sunshine, air, and shadow. For the gold-dust of the
stars is too fine for grinding. But it ground as well
the dreams of the lonely occupant of the grey-toned
house. And he let it stand there, falling gradually
into complete decay, because beneath those crumbling
wooden walls—he remembered it as of yesterday—
the sudden stroke had come that in a moment,
441
442 PAN’S GARDEN
dropping as it seemed out of eternity, had robbed
him of his chief possession—fashioner of the greatest
dream of all. The splash and murmur of the water,
the drone of the creaking wheel in flood time, the
white weed that gathered thickly over the pond
formed by the ancient dam, and the red-brown tint
of walls and rotting roof,—all were like the colour of
the water’s singing, the colour of her memory, and
the colour of his thinking too, made sweetly visible.
Indeed, despite his best control, she still lurked
everywhere, so that he could not recall a single
experience of the past years without at the same time
some vivid aspect of the scenery, as she saw it, rising
up clearly to accompany it. In every corner stood
the ghost of a still recoverable mood. Here he had
suffered, fought, and prayed ; here he had loved and
hated; here he had lost and found. All the kaleido-
scope aspects of growing older, of hopes and fears
and disappointments, were visualised for him in
terms of the Place where he had met and dealt with
them for his soul’s good or ill. But behind them
always stood that Figure in Chief; it was she who
directed the ghostly band; and she it was who
coaxed the romantic scenery thus into the support of
all his personal moods, and continued to do so with
even greater power after she was gone.
His respect for the Place seemed, therefore,
involved with his respect for himself and her. That
tumbling stream had an inalienable right of way ;
that mill of golden-brown claimed ancient lights as
truly as any mental palace of thoughts within his
mind ; and the little dips and rises in the woods
were as sacred—so he had always felt—as were those
twists and turns of character that he called his views
of life and his beliefs. This blending of himself with
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 443
the Place and her had been very carefully reared.
The notion that its foundations were not impregnable
for ever was a most disturbing one. ‘That the mere
arrival of an intruder could shake it, possibly shatter
it, touched sacrilege. And for long he suppressed
the outrageous notion so successfully that he almost
entirely forgot about it.
This strip of vivid land whereon he dwelt
acquired, moreover, a heightened charm from the
character of the odious land surrounding it. For on
all sides was that type of country best described as
over-fed and over-lived-upon. The scenery was
choked and smothered unto death ; it breathed, if at
all, the breath of a fading life pumped through it
artificially and with labour. Heavily beneath the
skies it lay—acres of inert soil.
There were, indeed, people who admired it,
calling it typical of something or other in the south
of England ; but for him these people, like the land
itself, were bourgeois, dull, insipid, and phlegmatic
as the back of a sheep. Like rooms in a big club,
it was over-furnished with too solid upholstery—
thick, fat hedges, formal oak woods, lifeless copses
stuck upon slopes from which successful crops had
sucked long ago the last vestiges of spontaneous
life ; and spotted with self-satisfied modern cottages,
‘improved’ beyond redemption, that made him
think with laughter of some scattered group of city
aldermen. ‘They're pompous City magnates, he
used to tell his wife, ‘strayed from the safety of
Cornhill, and a little frightened by the wind and
rain.
Everywhere, amid bushy trees that looked so
pampered they were almost sham, stood ‘country
444 PAN’S GARDEN
houses,’ whole crops of them, dozing after heavy
meals among gardens of sleek tulip and geraniums.
They plastered themselves, with the atmosphere of
small Crystal Palaces, upon every available opening,
comfortably settled down and weighted with every
conceivable modern appliance, and in ‘ Parks’ all cut
to measure like children’s wooden toys. They stood
there, heavy and respectable, living close to the
ground, and in them, almost without exception,
dwelt successful business men who owned a
‘country seat.’ From his uncivilised, wild-country
point of view, they epitomised the soul of the entire
scenery about them—something gross and sluggish
that involved stagnation. They brooded with an
air of vulgar luxury that was too stupid even to be
active. Here ‘resided,’ in a word, the wealthy.
When he walked or drove through the five
miles of opulent ugliness that lay between Mill
House and the station, it seemed like crossing an
inert stretch of adipose tissue, then lighting suddenly
upon a pulsating nerve-centre. To step back into
the fresh and hungry beauty of his pine valley, with
its tumbling waters and its fragrance of wild loveli-
ness, was an experience he never ceased to take
delight in. The air at once turned keen, the trees
gave out sharp perfumes, waters rustled, foliage sang.
Oh! here was life, activity, and movement. Vital
currents flowed through and over it. The grey
house among the fir-trees, beckoning to the Mill
beyond, was a place where things might happen and
pass swiftly. Here was no stagnation possible.
Thrills of beauty, denied by that grosser landscape,
returned electrically upon the heart. With every
breath he drew in wonder and enchantment.
And all this, for some years now, he had enjoyed
> Ae.
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 445
alone. Rather than diminishing with his middle
age, the spell had increased. Then came this sudden
question of another’s intrusion upon his dream-estate,
and he had dreaded painful alteration. The presence
of another, most likely stupid, and certainly un-
sympathetic, must cause a desolating change. Altera-
tion there was bound to be, or at the best a readjust-
ment of values that would steal away the wild and
accustomed flavour. He had dreaded the child’s
arrival unspeakably. It had turned him abruptly
timid, and this timidity betrayed the sweetness of the
treasure that he guarded. For it came close to fear
—the fear men know when they realise an attack
they cannot, by any means within their power, hope
to defeat.
And alteration, as he apprehended, came ; yet not
the alteration he had dreaded. Manya’s arrival had
been a surprise that was pure joy. Its wonder
almost woke suspicion. And the surprise, he found,
grew into a series of surprises that at first took his
breath away. The alchemy that her little shining
presence brought persisted, grew from day to day,
till it operated with such augmenting power that it
changed himself as well. No stranger fairy-tale was
ever written.
VI
Next day he put his work aside and devoted him-
self whole-heartedly to the lonely child. It was not
only duty now. She had stirred his love and pity
from the first. They would get on together. Un-
consciously, by saying the very thing to win him—
‘Uncle, how the Place must love you! ’—she had
struck the fundamental tone that made the three of
them in harmony, and set the whole place singing.
The sense of an intruding trespasser had vanished.
The Place accepted her.
It was only later that he realised this completely
and in detail, though on looking back he saw clearly
that the verdict had been given instantly. For no
revision changed it. ‘I’m all right here with Uncle,’
was the child’s quick intuition, meeting his own half-
way :—‘ We three are all right here together.’ For
she leaped upon his beloved dream-estate and made
it seem twice as wild and living as before. She
delighted in its loneliness and mystery. She clapped
her hands and laughed, pointed and asked questions,
made her eyes round with wonder, and, in a word,
put her own feelings from the start into each nook
and corner where he took her. There was no shy-
ness, no confusion ; she made herself at home with a
little air of possession that, instead of irritating as it
might have done, was utterly enchanting. It was
446
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 447
like the chorus of approval that increases a man’s
admiration for the woman he has chosen.
She brought her own interpretations, too, yet
without destroying his own. They even differed
from his own, yet only by showing him points and
aspects he had not realised. The child saw things
most oddly from another point of view. From the
very first she began to say astonishing things. They
piqued and puzzled him to the end, these things she
said. He felt they unravelled something. In his
own mind the personality of the Place and the
memory of his wife had become confused and
jumbled, as it were. Manya’s remarks and questions
disentangled something. Her child’s divination
cleared his perceptions with a singular directness.
She had strong in her that divine curiosity of children
which is as far removed from mere inquisitiveness
as gold-dust from a vulgar-finished ornament.
Wonder in her was vital and insatiable, and some of
these questions that he could not answer stirred in
him, even on that first day of acquaintance, almost
the sense of respect.
Morning and afternoon they spent together in
visiting every corner of the woods and valleys; no
inch was left without inspection ; they followed the
stream from the moorlands to the Mill, plunged
through the bracken, leaped the high tufts of heather,
and scrambled together down the precipitous sand-
pits. She did not jump as well as he did, but showed
equal recklessness. And the depths of shadowy
pinewood made her hushed and silent like himself.
In her childish way she fe/t the wild charm of it all
deeply. Not once did she cry ‘How lovely’ or
‘How wonderful’; but showed her happiness and
pleasure by what she did.
448 PAN’S GARDEN
‘Better than yesterday, eh?’ he suggested once,
to see what she would answer, yet sure it would be
right.
° She darted to his side. ‘That was all stuffed,’
she said, laconically as himself, and making a wry
face. And then she added with a grave expression,
half anxious and half solemn, ‘ Fancy, if that got in!
Oh, Uncle !’
‘Couldn’t,’ he comforted himself and her, delighted
secretly.
But it was on their way home to tea in the dusk,
feeling as if they had known one another all their
lives, so quickly had friendship been cemented, that
she said her first genuinely strange thing. Fora long
time she had been silent by his side, apparently tired,
when suddenly out popped this little criticism that
showed her mind was actively working all the time.
‘Uncle, you Aave been busy—keeping it so safe.
I suppose you did most of it at night.’
He started. His own thoughts had been travel-
ling in several directions at once.
‘I don’t walk in my sleep,’ he laughed.
‘I mean when the stars are shining,’ she said.
She felt it as delicately as that, then! She felt the
dream quality in it. ‘I mean, it loves you best
when the sun has set and it comes out of its hole,’
she added, as he said nothing.
‘Manya, it loves you too—already,’ he said gently.
Then came the astonishing thing. The voice was —
curious ; the words seemed to come from a long way
off, taking time to reach him. They took time to
reach her too, as though another had first whispered
them. It almost seemed as though she listened while
she said them. A sense of the uncanny touched him
here in the shadowy dark wood:
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 449
‘It’s a woman, you see, really, and that’s why
you're so fond of it. That’s why it likes me too,
and why I can play with it.’
The amazing judgment gave him pause at once,
for he felt no child ought to know or say such things.
It savoured of precociousness, even of morbidity,
both of which his soul loathed. But reflection
brought clearer judgment. The sentence revealed
something he had already been very quick to divine,
namely, that while the ordinary mind in her was
undeveloped, backward, almost stunted, by her bring-
ing up, another part of her was vividly aware. And
this other part was taught of Nature ; it was the
fairy thing that children had the right to know.
She stood close to the earth. Landscape and
scenery brought her vivid impressions that fairy-
tales, rather stupidly, translate into princes and
princesses, ogres, giants, dragons. Manya, having
been denied the fairy books, personified these im-
pressions after her own fashion. What was it after
all but the primitive instinct of early races that
turned the moods of Nature into beings, calling
them gods, or the instinct of a later day that per-
sonified the Supreme, calling it God? He himself
had ‘felt’ in very imaginative moments that bits
of scenery, as with trees and even the heavenly
bodies, could actually express such differences of
temperament, seem positive or negative, almost male
or female. And perhaps, in her original, child’s
fashion, she felt it too.
Then Manya interrupted his reflections with a
further observation that scattered his philosophising
like an explosion. Something, as he heard it, came
up close and brushed him. It made him start.
‘In some places, you see, Uncle, I feel shy all
2G
450 PAN’S GARDEN
over. But here I could run about naked. I could
undress.’
He burst out laughing. Instinctively he felt this
was the best thing he could do. A sympathetic
answer might have meant too much, yet silence
would have made her feel foolish. His laughter
turned the idea in her little mind all wholesome and
natural.
‘Play here to your heart’s content, for there’s no
one to disturb you,’ he cried. ‘And when I’m too
busy,’ he added, thinking it a happy inspiration,
‘Mrs. Coove can
‘Oh,’ she interrupted like a flash, ‘but she’s too
bulgey. She could never jump like you, for one
thing.’
cob ries
‘Or play hide-and-seek. She couldn’t fit in any-
where. She'd never be able to hide, you see.’
And so they reached the house, like two friends
who had found suddenly a new delight in life, and
sat down to an enormous tea, with jam, buttered
muffins, and a stodgy indigestible cake straight from
the oven. His tea hitherto had consisted of one
cup and two pieces of thin bread and butter. But
the appetite of twenty-five had come back again.
A new joy of life had come back with it. After
so many years of brooding, dreaming, solitary work-
ing, he had grown over solemn, the sense of fun and
humour atrophying. He had erected barriers be-
tween himself and all his kind, hedged himself in too
much. The arrival of this child brought new impetus
into the enclosure. Without destroying what im-
agination had prized so long, she shifted the old
values into slightly different keys. Already he
caught his thoughts running forward to construct
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 451
her future—what she might become, how he might
help her to develop spiritually and materially—yes,
materially as well. His thoughts had hitherto run
chiefly backwards.
This need not, indeed could not, involve being
unfaithful to the past. But it did mean looking
-ahead instead of always looking back. It was more
wholesome.
Yet what dawned upon him—rather, what chiefly
struck him out of his singular observations perhaps,
was this: not only that the Place had whole-heartedly
accepted her, but that she had instantly established
some definite relation with it that was different to
his own. It was even deeper, truer, more vital than
his own; for it was somehow more natural. It had
been discovered, though already there; and it was
not, like his own, built up by imaginative emotion.
Flence came his notion that she disentangled some-
thing ; hence the respect he felt for her from the
start ; hence, too, the original, surprising things she
sometimes said.
VII
For several days he watched and studied her, while
she turned the Place into a private playground of
her own with that air of sweet possession that had
charmed him from the first. Backward and un-
developed she undeniably was, but, in view of her
stupid, artificial bringing up, he understood this
easily. Of books and facts, of knowledge taught
in school, she was shockingly ignorant. ‘he wrong
part of her had been ‘forced’ at the wrong time ; the
‘play’ side had been denied development, and, while
gathering force underground, her little brain had
learned by heart, but without real comprehension,
things that belonged properly to a later stage. For
if ever there was one, here was an elemental being,
free of the earth, native of open places, called to the
wisdom of the woods. It all had been suppressed in
her. She now broke out and loose, bewildered, and
a little rampant, wild rather, and over joyful. She
revelled like an animal in new-found freedom.
In time she sobered. He led her wisely. Yet
often she went too fast for him to follow, and slipped
beyond his understanding altogether. For there
were gaps in her nature, unfilled openings in her
mind, loopholes through which she seemed to escape
too easily, perhaps too completely, into her play-
ground, certainly too rapidly for him to catch her
452
THE TEMPTATION OF THE CLAY 4.53
up. It was then she said these things that so
astonished him, making him feel she was somehow
an eldritch soul that saw things, Nature especially,
from a point of view he had never reached. Her
sight of everything was original.