A Buncu oF Roszs A Burlesque Musical Entertainment BY Wi Ds FELTER AUTHOR OF “THE SWEET FAMILY,” ‘OVER THE GARDEN WALL,” ‘* THE WIDOW’S PROPOSALS,” ETC. CopyRiGHT, 1898, By HAROLD RooRBACH at NEW YORK DICK & FITZGERALD, Pus isuers 18 ANN STREET DP AUG Hi LRA Ree fener UE Tam : aes reign r{ ead ery 4 A Ee St Ses Met aN 4 oo 4 4 us A BUNCH OF ROSES. CAST OF CHARACTERS, Mrs. PH@BE ANN RosE,— from Kalamazoo. PRUDENCE LOBELIA, POLLY CLORINDA, PRISCILLA, PAMELIA, PATIENCE, PENELOPE, LILLy, ] FANSY) | The Rosebuds. VIOLET, DAIsyY, | SALLY SPARKS, — who only “ thinks so.” MATILDA JANE, —the Hired Girl. * MELVIN MELROSE, — (the only Young Man on the Spot. The Bunch of Roses. PROPERTIES. Washtub and board. Bottle. Two large rag dolls in long dresses and caps. Small mirror for Melrose. A large bouquet made by tying paper flowers to a dead branch, the stem being decorated with a large bow of ribbon — this is to be brought forward by some one in the audience to PRUDENCE, after her recitation. * This character may be impersonated by a young lady, if preferred. COSTUMES. Mrs. ROSE. Old-fashioned dress; big bonnet; faded cotton umbrella; bandbox, etc. A BUNCH OF RosEs. Light summer dresses of a fashion three or four years old, trimmed and ruffled with colors. Funny bonnets, with gay strings tied under chin, and completely cov- ered with roses (paper roses can be used). Hand-bags and fancy work. Small parasols such as children use. Hair in cork-screw curls or hanging down back. Don’t try to look “ pretty,” but let everything be decidedly burlesque. SALLY SPARKS. . Short dress; gingham pinafore; hair in two braids to stick out behind ears. MATILDA JANE. Calico dress; apron. MELVIN MELROSE. Summer bicycle or outing suit; straw hat; négligé shirt, etc. THE ROSE-Bups. Short dresses; pantalettes; funny, outlandish hats. They should be very awkward, and chew gum constantly. SCENE. The scene is supposed to represent the parlor of a country boarding house. About three feet in front of the rear wall hang two curtains to extend across the platform, leaving an opening, in the centre, of three or four feet. Behind this centre opening, hang a black cloth against the wall to form a backing for the pictures. Place curtains or screens at the sides of the platform, leaving spaces at the rear to serve as entrances, right and left. 3 chairs rR. and 3 chairs L., up stage. 1 chair R. and 1 chair L.,down stage. If there is sufficient space, a table back of chair L. Other furniture to dress the stage, as may be convenient. If the piece is represented on a regular stage, set a plain room scene in the same manner. ABBREVIATIONS. In observing, the actors are supposed to face the audience. R. means right; L., left; C., centre, UP STAGE, toward the rear; DOWN STAGE, toward the audience. A BUNCH OF ROSES. at As the curtain rises, MRS. ROSE ENTERS from R., with um- brella, bandbox, etc.,and crosses toc. She speaks breathlessly and impatiently. Mrs. Rose. Well, upon my life, I wonder what sort of a place this is, anyway! Ive knocked, and knocked, and knocked, and nobody seemed to pay the slightest attention to me. A nice sort of a place this must be for summer boarders! (Looks around.) 1 wonder where they all are? When I left Kalamazoo with my lovely daughters, everybody said as how I’d wish I was back home instead of being cooped up in a four-by-six room. My daughters had read so much about the girls a-going away from home to be Summer Girls at a waterin’ place, that there wa’n’t no peace in our family until I promised to bring them here. The advertisement that caught me read, ‘‘A nice, quiet place with all the comforts of home, and the companionship of many charming people.” (Looks around.) The place seems quiet enough, but I wonder where the charming people are. ENTER SALLY SPARKS, R. Mrs. R. (turns and sees her). Isn’t there anybody at home? SALLY (R. C.). Think so. Mrs. R. (L. c.). ‘* Think so!” Well, don’t you know whether there is or not? SAL. Think so. Mrs. R. You're an idiot. SAL. Think so? Mrs. R. Do you work here? SAL. Think so. Mrs. R. Is your mistress at home? SAL. Thinkso. (Crossing to L. entrance.) MRs. R. (crossing toR.). Well, do you think you can tell her that Mrs. Phoebe Priscilla Ann Rose and daughters have arrived? SAL. Think so. (EX/7, L.) Mrs. R. (/ooking after her). 1 wonder if that is all she can say? s hope she isn’t a sample of the ‘‘ charming” people we are to meet ere. 5 6 A Bunch of Roses. ENTER MATILDA JANE, L. Mrs. R. Are you the landlady, Miss Slimmens? MATILDA JANE (very drawly). No, ma’am. Mrs. R. Are you the hired girl? Mat. (brightens up). Yes, ma’am. Mrs. R. I wrote here about board for myself and my lovely daughters; and here we arrive, and no one to meet us. Are our rooms ready? Mat. (very drawly). No, ma’am. Mrs. R. Didn’t you know we were coming to-day? Mat. (brightens up). Yes, ma’am. Mrs. R. Are there many boarders here? MAT. No, ma’am. Mrs. R. Any gentlemen boarders? Mat. Yes, ma’am. Mrs. R. (aside). That’s good. Perhaps the girls will be able to make an impression upon some of them. (A/oud.) Are they old gentlemen? Mat. No, ma’am. Mrs. R. Young? Mat. Yes, ma’am. Mrs. R. Is your mistress at home? MaT. No, ma’am. Mrs. R. Can we remain here in the parlor until our rooms are ready? Mat. Yes, ma’am. (£ZX/7, L.) Mrs. R. (c.). ‘*Yes, ma’am,” and ‘‘no, ma’am.” What a numskull she is, to be sure! Rather a cool reception, I think; the landlady away, and two hired hands that don’t know anything about the place. (Crosses to.) I do wish some of those ‘‘ charming people” would come in. (S7¢s, L.) ENTER MELROSE from R. MELROSE. So dol. MRs. R. (astde). What a nice young man! He must be one of those charming people we are to meet. (A/oud.) Are you a-stop- ping here? MEL. I’m not moving, am I? Mrs. R. (astde). Inclined to be pert. (Aloud.) I mean, are you one of the summer boarders here ? MEL. Yes, I am fhe summer boarder here. (Sz¢s, R.) Mrs. R. (ixterested). How many are there? MEL. One to-day; none to-morrow. MRS. R. (puzzled). What do you mean? MEL. Just what I say. (Leans back and crosses knee.) Mrs. R. Do you mean to say you are the only one here? MEL. Iam the whole business. A Bunch of Roses, 7 Mrs. R. (aside). And here 1’ve just arrived with my lovely daughters, and only one single man to go ‘round! MEL. Yes, I’ve heen here a week. You see, I saw an ‘‘ad.” in the paper for summer boarders, where one could have all the com- forts of home and the companionship of many charming people — Mrs. R. (énterrupting). The same advertisement that caught me. MEL. And so I came down expecting to have a jolly good time; but you are the first person I’ve seen since my arrival, except the landlady and two light-headed servants. I should have gone home before this, but Miss Slimmens told me she was expecting a Mrs. Rose and a bevy of lovely girls to-day — Mrs. R. (jumping up). And here we are. MEL. (rzses). Are you the Mrs. Rose who was expected? Mrs. R. Iam. MRL. (crosses to her). Then, where are your lovely daughters ? Mrs. R. Sitting out on the veranda, watching a chance to make an impression upon some young man. You see, this is their first season out; and they mean to be regular summer girls, and all be- come engaged before they go home. MEL. (turning away, aside). And I the only man here! Mrs. R. And we had laid such plans for our big entertainment that we were going to give. You know it’s quite the proper caper among summer boarders to give some grand charity benefit for the benefit of something or other; and we have arranged a program for the benefit of the Free Ice Fund for the Philippine islanders. What do you think of it? MEL. Immense! Simply immense! Mrs. R. My daughters are all beautiful and accomplished. MEL. Must take after their ma. (Coughs.) Ahem! Have you more than two daughters? Mrs. R. Well, afew more. I have a regular Bunch of Roses, to say nothing of my Rosebuds. MEL. Do they all take part in the entertainment? Mrs. R. Every one of them; sodolI. All we need is a young man to help us out. Met. Then count upon me. Anything to kill time; and Dew-y (d’ye) know, I think free ice is just the thing to give Hawaii (away) to the Philippine islanders? Mrs. R. You dear man! I'll call my daughters in; and as our rooms are not ready, we will rehearse our program here in the parlor. Let me see, your name is — MEL. Melrose— Melvin Melrose, of Montrose, Pa. (Say P A, not Pennsylvania. Mrs. R. Melrose! Well, I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t join the bunch. MEL. (aside). I’m in for it now, so here goes for some fun. (R.) Mrs. R. (crosses to R., and calls). Come in, my cherubs, 8 A Bunch of Roses. (To MELROSE.) Young man, prepare yourself for a regular feast of beauty. [MELROSE ¢éakes out a small mirror from his pocket ; straightens necktie, etc. ENTER the DAUGHTERS from R., running on single file, and forming a line across the rear of the stage, backs to audience. Each carries a small parasol open, in R. hand, so as to screen the face from the audtence. MRS. R. (L.). I never let a young man gaze upon my daughters’ beauty until he’s been prepared for it, for I’m always afraid the shock might shake him. Are you quite sure you can stand it? Are you fully prepared? MEL. (facing audience). Yes; I’m prepared for anything. ( 7ragically.) Mrs. R. Then, behold! (A// the Girs turn at once and face audtence. Parasols over RK. shoulders. Turn to the R. so thai parasols are all at the same angle. MELROSE turns L. at the same time, and starts back as tf shot. GIRLS all smile upon him.) Girls, I want to introduce a// the ‘‘ charming people” you are to meet here. Mr. Melrose, my daughter (rst one on L.). Prudence Lobelia, who’s short and sweet ; Polly Clorinda, with Trilby feet ; Priscilla, a maiden fair of face ; Pamelia, you notice, is full of grace ; Patience, they say, looks just like me ; And that is little Pe-nel-o-pe. [All bow as tf one person. MELROSE bows at same time. SONG: ‘‘ How-DE-Do?”? GIRLS. We’ve just arrived from Kalamazoo, How-de-do? How-de-do? We’re all to stay the season through; How-de-do? How-de-do? We wish we had a man like you, Who’d come on Sunday nights to woo, For we know how to bill and coo — So do you ( point fingers at MELROSE). MEL. You bet I do. We were all brought up in Kalamazoo, How-de-do? How-de-do? A glance — just one — we'll give to you ; How-de-do? How-de-do? Some people say we’re awfully new, But ‘‘ our book we’ve read it through and through,’’ And so we know a thing or two— So do you (Pointing). A Bunch of Roses. 9 HOW-DE-DO. Arranged by LAURA LA GRANGE. Allegro. . -o- i spveers ee oes “ic Sobel le Sp ok Apts Eee ee See eee oes eee CPT ROT Dee i gg $$ ae ere eae ene cD 10 A Bunch of Roses. MEL. You bet I do. [During the song Mrs. Rose takes the L. front corner of stage, and the girls, in order, form a line diagonally to about the centre, up stage. MELROSE stands at R. Jront corner, partly turned toward them, except when he sings ‘*You bet I do,” which must be sung with face to audience, and a little wink. When the girls sing ‘‘ How-de-do?” they take hold of skirts with left hand, and make an old-fashioned courtesy, bending the knees each time. MRS. ROSE may sing or not as she pleases. After the song, all parasols are closed to- gether. MEL. Charmed, I’m sure, to meet so many lovely ladies. (Zo Mrs. ROsE.) You certainly have quite a family, ma’am. Mrs. R. Oh, wait until you have seen all of them. (Crosses to c.) Come right in, my Rosebuds. ENTER RosesuDs, chewing gum. All very awkward and uninteresting. Mrs. R. (crosses back to L.). These are my Rosebuds, Mr. Mel- rose, and I am sure you will find them very interesting children indeed. Their names are Lilly, Pansy, Violet, and Daisy. (Ché- dren grin and bow awkwardly.) You see, we have worked for the past two months on the wardrobe for our entertainment, and as long as we are here by ourselves, why not have a full-dress rehearsal ? MEL. Just the thing! Call me when you are ready. (Crosses fo rR.) Jll be anything from a chorus girl to a living picture. (EXIT, R.) Mrs. R. Now, girls, you sit down while 1 make our opening speech. [Girls stt in row of chairs, and the ROSEBUDS on the floor in front of them. OPENING SPEECH. (c.) Ladies and Gentlemen: I am so glad to see so many of you present to witness our entertainment for the benefit of the Free Ice Fund for the Philippine islanders. It is quite the thing among summer boarders to raise money for some charitable object by making public exhibitions of themselves and their accomplishments. My beautiful daughters are just like all the rest of the girls —they do so love to be before the public. They ave beautiful, as you must all own, and not one of them has yet had her little heart stolen away. So if there are any young gentlemen here who would like to make a selection, they may do so while the entertainment is going on. Without further remarks from me, we will sing our grand opening chorus. Both words and music were written espe- cially for this occasion. (Zo GIRLS.) Prepare yourselves. (7akes L. end of line.) [All the GIRLS rise, the ROSEBUDS standing in front, A Bunch of Roses. 1} SONG: ‘*TuNE, ‘* Tramp, Tramp, Tramp, the Boys are Marching.”’ If you will attention give, we will tell you, one and all, How it was we happened to come down this way ; We all hail from Kalamazoo, And before we bid adieu, You will think the Bunch of Roses very gay. CuHorus: We are all considered handsome, Rosy cheeks and teeth like pearls ; We’re a Bunch of Roses bright, And we sing both day and night, And we hope that you will like the Summer Girls, You have heard of us before — heard about the summer girls Who are not afraid to stay out after dark ; We all hail from Kalamazoo, Our minds made up what we will do; And we all intend to have a little lark. CHorus: Weare all considered handsome, etc. If there are any nice young men who admire Summer Girls, Just take notice of this Bunch of Roses bright ; We are each a gay coquette, And we have our hearts (Lands on hearts) as yet, But we all expect to lose them here to-night. CHorus: We are all considered handsome, etc. [Repeat chorus, all marching to the refrain. MRS. ROSE leads, followed by the GIRLS and then the ROSEBUDS. The march must be governed by the size of the stage and the discretion of the stage manager. As they march around to the R. entrance, all EXEUNT except Mrs. ROSE, PRUDENCE, PRISCILLA, avd PATIENCE, who march around and take thetr respective chairs. Para- sols can lie on the floor behind chairs. When all are seated, MRS. ROSE speaks. Mrs. R. Now, girls, remove your bonnets, and Ill try to find a spare bed to lay them away on. (AU remove bonnets and give them to Mrs. R.) Though, land o’ goodness, if our rooms and beds aren't ready, I don’t believe the spare bedroom is either. I'll o and see, anyway. While I am gone, you girls can get out your ancy work, and take a few stitches while the crowd’s gathering. (EX/T MRs. ROSE, wth bonnets, R.) [Girts all open bags and take out fancy work — the more ridiculous the work zs the better. PRUDENCE. Girls, did you notice what a sweet smile that nice young man gave me just as he went out? PATIENCE. No; but I noticed the naughty little wink that he gave me. I think he’s just too sweet to live. 12 A Bunch of Roses. PRISCILLA. So do1; but I think I’ve got the inside track there, and IJ intend to bring all my charms to bear upon him. Prup. I think I'll crochet hima nice pair of yellow and red slip< pers. I know the young men just love to get slippers for presents, Pat. No, they don’t, either. They like something they can keep, and so I’m going to give him my tintype, and I know he’ carry it in his inside pocket, right over his heart. Pris. How foolish you are! (Azses.) You don’t know much about men, or you would know that the way to their hearts is through their stomachs. So I’m going to make him some of my soda biscuits. (X/7, R.) Pat. (calling after her). Don’t; if you do we sha’n’t have any young man here at all! ENTER MRs. ROSE, R. Mrs. R. (c.). Now, girls, we'll begin with our program; so be ready when your time comes. (Zo audience.) You see, we are going to depart from the usual way of starting a program with a piano solo. Most everybody does, so the people can talk with one another, and those who are late can come in without disturbing any one. Patience will entertain you with asong. She has sucha large stock of them, I can’t tell you just what it will be, but she will sing as the spirit moves her. Prepare yourselves. (Goes, L.) [PATIENCE rzses; advances to C.; stops as of thinking ; looks at pianist; raises four fingers; sings two verses of “The Old Folks at Home.” A? close she bows and sits down. Burlesque the song. Use funny gestures. Mrs. R. We will now exhibit a few copies of portraits of our family, taken from the old family album. Some people don’t be- lieve in having albums any more, but we do; and I wouldn’t part with mine for anything, if for no other reason than that the girls do so love to get it out and show it to their young men callers, and entertain them by telling who each one is, and all about them. Prudence, you and Patience can exhibit the pictures as I describe them. [Zhe girls take their places on each side of the curtains in the centre at back. In exposing the pictures, drape the curlains back, and hold them until ten is counted slowly. Then close together while the next picture ts being de- scribed. Repeat as before. Now, the first I would call to your notice is one of my mother, taken years ago. My, but she was a smart woman, and a powerful hand to work at fancy work and such like! This picture shows her in one of her favorite occupations. (Picture: Woman in calico dress, sleeves rolled up, tn act of washing clothes at washboard in tub. Front view. Can be represented by SALLY. ; Father was never much of a hand to hurt himself with over-work, A Bunch of Roses. 13 for he generally enjoyed poor health most of the time. This picture is one that was so natural to mother, but I don’t remember much about it, for all I am in it myself. He used to do a great deal of running around nights. This shows him in one of his pleasant pastimes. (Picture; Man stands facing audience. yousers and shirt on; no collar ; one suspender hanging down ; hair ruffled up. On each arm is a baby in long dress and night-cap. Bottle in one hand marked ‘‘ Soothing Syrup.” Can be done by MELROSE. Aunt Maria always said she was too beautiful to be took in a pic- ture, though she was willing enough to be “took” by some man; but the right one never came along. She always said she wouldn't mind having her face carved in marble for a Museum of Fine Arts, but after a good deal of persuading on our part, she finally con- sented to pose for a photographer, with this result. Note the won- derful facial expression. (Picture: Old maid. Hair high on head, curls in front of ears; high comb, low-cut dress to make neck look long and thin. She stands with back to audience. The next is a picture of me when I was a little girl. Mother always said it was a good one, and looked so much like me that hardly anybody could tell whether it was me or my twin sister Samanthy eon (Picture: Small girl; short dress; pinafore, panta- lettes ; big, stiff sun-bonnet drawn down so as to cover the face completely. Stands facing audience. By smallest ROSEBUD. The next one is really no blood relation of ours, but she lived with us so long that she seemed just like one of the family. Some think there is a family resemblance, but I never could see it. [Picture: Woman facing audience; calico dress and apron, red bandanna kerchief on head, black false face and black gloves. Atypical Aunt Dinah. After pictures, the girls resume their seats. Prudence Lobelia will now give utterance to her feelings in a little recitation which, by the way, is very pathetic, and appeals to the hearts of everybody — especially the dear men. She wrote it her- self, and calls it ‘A Maiden’s Lament.” Prepare yourselves. (.Szts, L.) PRUDENCE LOBELIA v7ses, crosses to C., and bows; then recites the following. She must be very giddy. As she rises to recite, PATIENCE rises and goes out, R. A MAIDEN’S LAMENT. (Any comic recitation or monologue can be substituted here.) I’m dying for some one to love me ; I want him to call me his bird, 14 the latest up-to-date songs. A Bunch of Roses. His cuckoo, his own little ducky, And all the sweet names ever heard. I want to be called toot-sy woot-sy, I want to be squeezed and caressed, I want him to tell me he loves me, As I lean on his masculine chest. I want him to take me to picnics, To visit me once every day, Bring me peanuts and ice-cream and candy — To my heart he’d quite soon find a way. I’d nestle up closely beside him, I’d tell him I loved him the best ; And there, with my lips close to ‘‘ hisen,’? I’d kiss him till he couldn’t rest. I don’t see how the men can resist me, For all I’m so awfully shy ; I blush — now of course I can’t help it— Whenever a man passes by. At times I’m distressingly giddy, But when I’m fixed up in my best, I cut quite a notable figure, For I’m always so stylishly dressed. Aunt Mary thinks I am too giddy — I ‘‘ ought to stop talking of beaux ;”’ She says, ‘‘ All these men are deceitful, From their heads clear down to their toes.”’ But she’s an old maid over fifty ; With lovers she’s never been blest. So I want to get married — this minute — For old maids I simply detest. Now, I hope you will all understand me When I say I’m in want of a man; For I’m just like the rest of the ladies — I’m waiting to catch what I can. So, if any young man here before me Should to-night with my charms be impressed, Come right up — and before all these people, In your strong, loving arms I will rest. [Bows and EXIT, R., after recetving bouquet. Mrs. R. The Rosebuds will now entertain you with some of They are familiar to most of you, but if you wish to obtain printed copies, you can do so by applying to any of the girls after the performance. ENTER Pansy, R., dressed as Old Mother Hubbard PANSY (szugs). Zune, ‘Old Nursery Rhymes.” Old Mother Hubbard, she went to the cupboard, To get her poor doggie a bone ; When she got there, the cupboard was bare, And so the poor doggie had none. Prepare yourselves. A Bunch of Roses. 15 ENTER LIit1y, R., dressed as Little Miss Muffett. LILLY (szugs): Little Miss Muffet, she sat on a tuffet, Eating her curd and whey ; There came a big spider and sat down beside her, And frightened Miss Muffett away. (Stands next to PANSY.) OLD NURSERY RHYMES. Arranged by LAURA LA GRANGE. ENTER VIO ET, R., dressed as Little Bo-Peep. VIOLET (szzgs). Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep, And can’t tell where to find them ; Leave them alone and they’ll come home, Bringing their tails behind them. (Stands next to LILLY.) 16 A Bunch of Roses. ENTER DAISY, R., dressed as Little Boy Blue. DAISY (s7ugs). Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn, The sheep’s in the meadow, the cow’s in the corn ; Where’s the boy who looks after the sheep? (Adi sing.) Mrs. R. He’s under the haystack, fast asleep. (Stands next to VIOLET.) Old Mother Goose gives a party to-night, To all her children dear ; So all must come and join the fun, Her old heart we will cheer. Old Mother Hubbard and Little Miss Muffett Are both on a visit to-day ; And soon Jack Sprat, with his wife so fat, Are coming down this way. Little Jack Horner, who sat in a corner, And Little Bo-Peep so true, She’ll soon be seen upon the green Dancing with Little Boy Blue. Mistress Mary who’s quite contrary, Surely will appear, With Old King Cole, a jolly old soul, And St. Nick bringing up in the rear. Now Tommy Tucker is in for fun, And along with Tommy, Grace ; And Johnny Long sings a funny song As the fiddlers take their place. We’ll dance and sing, till the curfews ring, To our homes then one and all; (Separate here —two to each entrance.) And never forget when we all met At Mother Goose’s fancy ball. (EXEUNT, Rk. and L.) Little Sally Sparks has a little piece to speak for you. It has a moral to it. I will leave you to find it out for yourselves. (Calls.) Sally! (Zo audience.) Prepare yourselves, ENTER SALLY, who recites. SISTER ANN’S BEAU. My sister Ann has got a beau, Who comes on Sunday night, And keeps her up — oh, awful late! I wonder if it’s right? One night he came to call on her, I hid behind a chair, And saw him kiss and hug her tight, Not knowing I was there, A Bunch of Roses. 17 First time I ever knew a chair Was big enough for two ; But I saw him take her on his knee, And says ‘‘ Oh, I lub you! ”’ Sis’ acted awful bashful like ; I knew ’twas all put on, For she had had a beau before, And knew just how ’twas done. Then with a fire-cracker large, I hit upon a plan To have some fun with my big sis’, And also her young man. I don’t suppose ’twas right to peek 3 - But p’rhaps when I’ve a beau, I’ll likely have to do the same — And I thought I ought to know. Now, when she called him tootsy-wootz, And he called her a bird, I let that fire-cracker go — The biggest noise you ever heard. Of course they jumped, he grabbed at me, And ’cross his knee I laid ; Enough’s been said — my sister Ann Is still a sour, cross old maid. (Pause.) And she says I’m the cause of it all. (2X77, R.) [NoTE: Other selections, vocal or instrumental music, or recttations, may be introduced here at the discretion of the stage manager. Mrs. R. As a closing number to our entertainment, we will, with your kind permission, present for the first time in your city (or any other) a new Comic Operetta which was written for us, under Pen- elope’s direction, by the well-known composers, Silbert and Gulli- van, and is considered their latest success. It is entitled ‘‘ Johnny Jones ;” and, like all other operettas, it abounds with pretty girls, gorgeous costumes, bright music, and last, but not least, a plot; that is, they said there was one, but we have not been able to find it yet. If anybody should happen to discover it wandering around anywhere, we will pay a liberal reward to the finder after the per- formance. The audience is requested not to make too much noise looking for it. The finale is a grand, stirring, patriotic medley in which we want you all to join. After the overture we will proceed. Prepare yourselves. (ZX/7, R.) [NoTE: Here a piano solo may be introduced while the performers are getting ready for the **Opera.” The idea of this bit of burlesque ts that there ts positively no sense or plot in the whole thing — it being a ‘‘ take- off ” on so many of the popular operas that are either devoid of plot or have scarcely enough to hold them together. The girls may dress in pretty outing sutts. 18 A Bunch of Roses. “JOHNNY JONES.” A BURLESQUE OPERETTA IN ONE ACT. ScENE.— Any old place. Time.— Last week. CostTumEs.— Up to Date, CAST OF CHARACTERS. Miss BoGcGs .. .« af feiksiaceks joke NETS. ©EROGE, BESSIB Shc 5 es a AE RMGRDD On ticls Meinl te aa ie aed NOG Ce, JESSIE 505s Pate > Voge oie Bde 7-9 oo aes tee eee ee a ee SUE tea a oes n titg Me a ay on Me oe gee EES CRELES MABEL io bie? So Ld et oe noe Be te ead a chia eee eel te nea MAUD Faro edie a eint to cs RR Te Meer eins SE OLL Ye BRIDGETA -MALONA Gis.) seu ane cbs die ire See ae JOHNNY JONES AOL ERT Sent h teg Se ae ee eer Oges NEIGHBORS, FRIENDS, AND KIDs. Tune, ‘‘ John Brown’s Body,” after prelude. The girls sing two lines outside, and then ENTER, R. Each one has a letter in her hand. They stand tn line and sing verse and chorus, after which they separate, R. and L. SONG. Tune, ‘* Fohn Brown’s Body.’ We’ve run away from boarding-school, We'll not go back again ; Our teachers are unkind to us, We look for fun in vain. We study very hard all day, and so when night has come We always want some fun. CHorus: We are all light-hearted maidens, Always laughing, bright and gay ; We are hoping, waiting, watching, For a man to come this way. BEssiE. Well, girls, now that we have run away, what are we going to do? Jesste. I think we'd better read our letters first. ALL. Of course — our letters! Bes. Hush! Some one approaches. (Looks R.) Jes. Who can it be? SuE. Perhaps it’s the teacher, Miss Boggs. MAuD. May be it’s a man. MABEL. Or some awful wild animal. Bes. No— (singing outside) —’tis a female woman. Listen — she sings. BRIDGETA (outside; sings. Tune, ‘‘ Wearing of the Green”). Oh, Paddy dear, an’ did ye hear The news that’s goin’ around? The shamrock is by law forbid To grow on Irish ground, A Bunch of Roses. 19 An’ no more St. Patrick’s Day we’ll kape, The color can’t be seen; (ENTER, R.; crosses to C.) For they’re hangin’ men and women For the wearing av the Green. (Looks around at the girls.) ALL. Why, it’s only Bridgeta! Brip. Shure, an’ who did ye think it was? Jes. We didn’t know but it might be a man. Bes. Or Miss Boggs, come to take us back to school. Jes. Has she left her room yet? Brip. Yis, an’ comin’ this way. I thought, by the way she was puttin’ the powder on her face, she moight be expectin’a gintleman to see her. ALL. A young man here — oh, no! Maup. An unheard-of thing in these parts. Brip. Why don’t ye read yer letters before she comes? [I'll watch out. (Crosses toR., and EXIT.) Bes. A good idea. [All stand in a row in the following order, from L. to R.: BESSIE, JESSIE, SUE, MABEL, MAubD. ead letters. SONG: Tung, ** Zramp, Tramp, Tramp, the Boys are Marching.’’ BES. (sings). Dearest Bess, if you don’t mind, JES. (sings). I will see you, sure, to-night ; But don’t let the others know that I am there ; SUE (sigs). For I want to see you, Sue ; MAB. (sings). Meet me, Mabel, just at two ; MAUD (sings). Oh, you dearest little Maud, you are so fair. BES. (szugs). It’s from Mr. Johnny Jones. I will meet him, yes, alone. JES. (simgs). No one else will ever know that he has come. SUE (sings). Johnny wants to see his Sue, MAB. (sings). Soon his Mabel he can woo, 20 A Bunch of Roses, MAUD (szugs). Now I’m happy, for I am the only one. CHORUS. ALL (szuzg). We will each one have a sweet-heart, Johnny Jones at last has come ; And before the autumn day Shall forever pass away, All our little hearts will surely then be won, ENTER, BRIDGETA, R. Brip. Here comes Miss Boggs! Bes. She mustn’t see these letters. (4/1 put letters out of sight.) Whom was yours from, Jessie? Jes. Oh, a lovely young man by the name of Jones. SUE. Jones! Mas. Why, my letter was from Mr. Jones! MaAupb. So was mine! Bes. And mine, too! How many of the Jones family are com- ing, I wonder? ENTER Miss BoGGs, rR. She zs very ugly, and dressed very giddily. Miss Boccs. Only one that I know of. I have just received a letter from him, telling me he would call here to-day. It seems that he has seen me when I was out for my morning walk, and that I have made quite an impression upon him. AutL. Is his name Johnny Jones? Miss B. Yes, Johnny Jones. SONG: TuNE, ‘‘ ohn Brown’s Body.”’ ALL. The Johnny Jones are coming, coming here to-day, Hope that we will like them, hope they’ve come to stay 3 Hope they won’t be bashful, hope they will be gay, And we will have some fun. CuHoRus: Johnny Jones, you are my sweet-heart, You’re the one I want to see ; Johnny Jones, I love you dearly — You're the only Jones for me. Miss B. Now, girls, I think you had better go and leave me here alone, for I am expecting a gentleman visitor. BEs. Iam expecting one, too. Jes. And I! ALL. And I! BES. So, you see, we are going to stay right where we are. A Bunch of Roses. yh ENTER BRIvDGETA, with tray and six visiting-cards. Each girl takes one. ALL. Mr. Johnny Jones. Miss B. Did they all come together? BRIDGETA. Mum? Miss B. Did the Mr. Joneses all arrive at the same time? Brip. Shure, an’ did ye think he would come in sections? Bes. You don’t understand; we mean all together. Brip. Well, as far as I could see, ’twas all together, but I think there’s a screw loose somewhere. ALL. A screw loose? Brip. Yis; fer such a quare lukin’ chap Oi niver saw in all me loife. Miss B. Bridgeta, show them in. Brip. Thim! (Cvosses R.) Shure, an’ Oi thought ‘twas an “it.” (EXIT, R.) Miss B. Now, girls, as they’re all arrived at the same time, we will entertain them together. I wonder if they are all good looking? BrID. (outstde). Av ye do be sure yez are all together, yez can go roight in. [Prelude to song as JOHNNY JONES ENTERS, R. He crosses to C., and sings. Tune, ‘‘ How-de-do?” SONG. JONES. I’m Johnny Jones of Timbuctoo, How-de-do? How-de-do? I’ve just dropped in to speak to you, How-de-do? How-de-do? The girls all say tra-la-la-loo When they all met me at the Zoo. They think I’ve got the money, too; So do you — GIRLS AND Miss B. Of course we do. Joneses like me are very few, How-de-do? How-de-do? That’s why I have come to woo, How-de-do? How-de-do? As you are all from Kalamazoo, And I’m a Jones from Timbuctoo, Nothing can our meeting rue — How-de-do? GIRLS AND MIss B. How-de-do? Miss B. Where are the others? JONES. Others? Bes. Yes—the rest of you. JONES. Excuse me— I’m all here. 22 ; A Bunch of Roses. Miss B. Are you the one who sent me this lovely note? Jones. I guess I must have sent you all one. Bes. You sent them all? Jones. Yes; but I wasn’t aware that you all lived here together. Miss B. How did you learn our names? Jones. Why, I just told a young fellow that I wanted to know the names of some marriageable young ladies ; and he said he could give me some. He said von were all very rich, and every one of you looking for a husband. And as I am looking for a wife — Miss B. Yes! yes! Jones. And as I was looking for a wife — ALL (rushing to him). Are you looking for a wife? Jones. Yes; but you see I want only one. Bes. Iam sure you could learn to love me. Jes. You don’t know how divinely I can sing. Maupb. And I can play the harmonica so sweetly. Sue. And I can write such beautiful poetry. Mas. And I can sew on buttons and make the best of biscuit. Miss B. Young ladies, remember that you are only school-girls, and not old enough to think of marriage yet. Young man (crosses to him), Jam the one you seek. I can make you happy. You are just my ideal of a husband. I like your manners and your intelli- gence; so without saying any more about it, you may claim me as your bride. ALL. His bride! Jones. But my dear madame — Miss B. Oh, you dear man! (Arms around his neck.) Ihave you at last! Youare all mine! (Pause.) Kiss me. Jones. Is this Fate, or is it— ? Miss B. Happiness! Blissful happiness at last! Jones. Am I really all yours. Miss B. All! All! Jones. Then I must be resigned to my fate. Bes. But how about the rest of us? JONES. I have several brothers — ALL (rush to him). Where are they? Jones. All home. Mother doesn’t allow them out o’ nights. ALL. Then we are bereft! oe I think I must have strayed, for I’m sure I’ve been stolen. Miss B. Are you a true American? JONES. Yes, and a Jones. Miss B. Do you love the stars and stripes? Would you fight for them? (TZragically.) Jones. Yes. (Very heroic.) I ama Jones. Miss B. (takes his arm). We will marry to-morrow, and go to our palatial home in Jonesville. And now, as long as everything is settled, we may as well be happy. I have anticipated this for some 9 A Bunch of Roses, 23 time, and as we are all true-hearted American citizens, let us join in singing the old and stirring melody ‘‘ Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean ;” and may you all be as happy as I am in becoming Mrs. JOHNNY JONES. [Separate so as to leave centre of stage open to show pic- CHORUS : ture. ENTER ROSEBUDS; they stand in front. Two girls go up to raise curtains ; others group themselves around stage. MISS BOGGS and JONES standing to- gether. All sing. SONG: TuNE, ‘‘Auld Lang Syne.” Before we bid you all adieu, And to your homes you go ; We’ll show to you an old-time friend, Her features you will know. And when you see Columbia stand, To show to her you’re true, Join in the chorus as we sing, The red, the white, the blue. FINAL SONG. ** Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean,” [Audience to join in chorus. Oh, Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean, The home of the brave and the free, The shrine of each patriot’s devotion, The world offers homage to thee. Thy mandates make heroes assemble When Liberty’s form stands in view, Thy banners make tyranny tremble When borne by the red, white, and blue. When borne by the red, white, and blue, When borne by the red, white, and blue, The Army and Navy forever — Three cheers for the red, white, and blue. [Repeat Chorus. At first chorus the curtains separate, Showing statue of *‘Columbia.” This may be imper- sonated by PENELOPE, who has plenty of time to change for tt. Costume: white clinging drapery; bare arms; hair flowing ; crown, large flag in right hand. All turn toward COLUMBIA as the curtain descends on second chorus. THE END. PHYLLIS’'S INHERITANCE — A Comedy in Three Acts, by Frank H. Bernard PRICE 25 CENTS CHARACTERS PHILIP MORNINGSIDE, a promising New York Attorney. Major PutLanpER Mumrorp, a Veteran of ’61. Pierre Marguetre, of Paris and New York. Patrick Moongy, M. P., Secretary of the Home Rule Association, Prrer Martin, a timid young man with a desire to be ‘‘sporty.” Paut Marvet, a private detective. Puyiiis Morwninesipve, Philip’s up-to-date wife with ambitions. PHoEBE MarTINGALE, has been a widew on four occasions. PENELOPE MuMForp, a veritable “butter-in” at all times. Patrice Mumrorp, her only child. She has just “come eut.” ANGELA ee Trio of Vassar “bright lights.” MY Pansy, a housemaid ef the “fresh” variety. PATIENCE, who also assumes “‘demestic” affairs. Two Scenes, One INTERIOR AND ONE BxXTERIOR. TIME oF REPRESENTATION—Two hours. Phyllis, wife of Philip, is to inherit the fortune of a deceased East Indian uncle, provided she marries his adopted son, who presumably is about to visit her. Being already married and most desirous of obtaining the fortune, she conceals the matter from her husband. Two men call upon her bearing introductory letters which she does not read, supposing each in turn to be the adopted son. The subterfuges she invents to account for their presence lead to many perplexing mistakes, which are finally satis- factorily arranged when it transpires that her husband is identified as the adopted son. THE RED ROSETTE A WESTERN DRAMA IN THREE ACTS, BY GORDON V. MAY PRICE 25 CENTS A typical drama of the Far West. The Major in command of a military fort advertises in New York papers for a wife, and elicits a response from a rich middle-aged lady. As a means of identification, each is to wear a red rosette. The lady arrives accompenied by her niece. The rosettes get into other hands, resulting in complications both ludicrous and serious. The niece is abducted and rescued by a young officer, a previous West Point acqtaintance. The results are obvious. This play offers fine opportunities for character parts, and is replete with startling situations. CHARACTERS Major PuILaNpDER Braces, who owns one rosette.......,.+-+,.. Character Miss OpwEria Skipper, who owns the ppposirs rosette, ..-,+.--..-Old Lady Lieut. Puirip Maney, who gets the Major’s rosette.,.....-s++++--- Lead Cuarz Brooks, who gets the other rosette... ..ccseseececserr cere ye Lead Rosert RutHvan, who gets into trouble..........sesvevecesoee ee +e HEAVY Danpy Davis, who gets his desertS......sevecserrreserseryeeere+s Heavy Tom Scott, Sheriff, who gets hie MAN..-csereersrereceveseees Otraignt ns Bow ty, who gets some boarderS.....c. cece e cee cne se cceess Straight ty Bow.ey, who gets Tom Scott...-..cseeeeeees Side nad biahaoah Ingenue Tirex Scpnes, Two Inter1ok and One Expprror. Time o¢ REPRESENTATION—T we hours, A DOCTOR BY COURTESY A Farce in Three Acts, by Ullie Akerstrom PRICE 25 CENTS CHARACTERS Dr. Jos. Sry, a physician (?)........... veh db delves wcledvus «Light Comedy Henar Duvar, a French merchant......csscccscccsccecescecess Character Cwas. Jenxins, Sly’s father-in-law.......0.see.s+s0.+-+-Comedy old man Freppigk West, a dude..... Werte hn BARPENE ato havexnie ecueca. bre" Shctara varain atere Character PAPCRARL, (AIO T Soca ee ic can wales escobence seeds stove cdtian Character POLICEMAN, one of the finest. FLoRETTE Duvat, Dival’seWitew. coe ss sleheterwinters Gk w scl ictaye a a pier Lead BMALS SLY oly Oe Wiles os che brian wees ean CIO wre tooo Oe Juvenile MARTHA JENKINS, Jenkins’s wife............ in eae Pattheate Old woman Ipa Gayeirt, of the ballet........... Bieta wis. cretebl ace Sethi e wate cette Soubrette GRETCHEN, Florette’s maid servant.......... aici eta on see Gcharacten Two INTERIOR ScENES.—TIME OF REPRESENTATION—Two hours. SYNOPSIS Act I.—Sitting-room in Sly’s office. Mr. Jenkins resorts to heroic measures to boom his son-in-law’s medical practice. Two women prepare a trap. Old associates draw Sly into folly. Clouds begin to gather. Act II.—Room in the house of Monsieur Duval. Florette’s physician (by proxy) arrives. A startling prescription. Matters become worse and worse. A jealous husband and three doctors (?) Act IIfI.—Same as Act I. The ‘“‘green-eyed monster’? appears in the Sly family. The story of a scratched face and a shower-bath. Explana- tions restore harmony, and Dr. (?) Sly retires from active work. COLLEGE CHUMS A COMEDY OF COLLEGE LIFE iN THREE ACTS, BY ANTHONY E. WILLS PRICE 25 CENTS A realistic sketch of College life and its influence. Wallace, an in- dolent aimless young man, on entering college is hazed by fellow collegiates, led on by Thorne, the bully of his class. He turns on the bully and thrashes him soundly. Out of revenge, he is so ingeniously accused of theft by the bully, that the crime appears to carry conviction. Finally the real thief exonerates him and the bully is expelled. There are some very funny passages between two opposing veterans of the war, and in the love making of a German professor. In due course the inevitable young lady comes on the scene with the usual results. A capital play, full of interest through- out. CHARACTERS FranKtyn Ristry, Dean of the University.........eeccccceses Character FRIEDERICH VON WEBER, Professor of German........--eeeeeeees Character WALTACHEPINDLAYs Solhe Babes aici << 4c. ciclare ately, ho 0:0 ecbuei'e\elese 8) aielarsynns Lea TOWAHDAMORNE ee He SBallivy’ ys iekevajeievs’s.+ ies, 010.6 wrobein wiles 0 eleveiel eele \opeqsagce Heavy ArtHuR Kincspury, Capt. of College Team......-. esse cece eeeeees Straight PAut)D1issc0Rk, Ai SOPWOMOLE » 60 Gas os oo sae daslagers > «vteiana-vecatraignt CurFrForp Paice, manager of College Team........-seeeeeseeveeves Straight Joun Finptay, Wallace’s father. ... 0... cece sene cee ececeeececes Character ALEc, an old colored attendant.........ecseececersscerencvaces Character Mrs. Atmira Dinsmore, Paul’s mother.......-.sesesesseeeces Old Lady Gaice’ Dinsmore, her . datighter. wi. s,. 0 cp wines ote can wee ees eee clwaes Lea Tony SpraGuE, the watchman’s daughter........-.--seeeeeeeeeees Ingenue One INTERIOR STAGE-SETTING-—TIME OF REPRESENTATION—I wo hours. Plays for Female Characters CHEERFUL COMPANION, A 15cents. A duologue fortwo female eS adapted from a Character Sketch by Ina Leon Cassiuis. Parlor seeste. me, 2s minutes. A lady of refinement advertised fora cheerful, musical companion, a good reader. She has oné applicant, who proves to be tearfully doleful, garrulous ore disappointed love failures,and an unmitigated bore. A fine scope for character elineation. CRANFORD DAMES. 15 cents. A play for 8 or 14 female charac- ters, by ALiczE ByINGTON, 2 interior scenes. Costumes of sixty ears ago. Time of playing, 1% hours, A clever adaptation of Mrs. Gaskell’s “* Cranford,’ which is perhaps one of the finest pieces of humoristic writing within the entire range of English fiction. The delicate pathos, the subtle humor, the quaint atmosphere of the beok have been well preserved in the play, and the result is a series of episodes almost wholly devoid of that element called plot, but possessed, none the less, of a charm that cannot fail to please the audience. The piece is easily managed, and will provea strong attraction for young ladies’ representations. GERTRUDE MASON, M.D.; or, The Lady Doctor. 15 cents. A farce in 1 act for 7 female characters, by L. M. C. ArMstronG. Plain room scene er no scene at all. Rens 30 minutes. An exceedingly bright piece for young ladies, n which young Dr. Gertrude, already a victim of circumstances, is made the victim of a practical joke. The scenes with Mrs. Van Style, who mistakes the doctor for a pawnbroker, and Miss Jane Simpkins, who brings a sick dog to be cured, are hilari- ous, while Nora, an Irish cook, is deliciously droll. The cook is the star of the piece, but all the personages are vivacious and every situation bristles with fun. LOVE AND A WAY. 158cents. A comedy in 3 acts and 1 scene, by EveLyn Simms. 4 female characters. Scene, a sitting-room. Time, 1% hours, Phyllis, a young girl, loving and beloved by Jack Pemberton, a rich young man, refuses to marry him because her maiden aunts consent and every one wishes it. (< is reported to have lost his fortune, and now she wants to marry /acé, with whom er aunts forbid any communication. By the aid of her friend Beatrice an elopement is planned and carried out, and a most surprising climax is sprung upon the audience. MAIDENS ALL FORLORN. 15 cents. A comedy in 3 acts and 1 scene, by EvELYN Simms. 6female characters. Scene, a parlor in a seaside cottage. Time, 1% hours. Three young girls chafing under the monotony of a man-forsaken resort, write 7eddy to come and visit them. 7Zeddy cannot come, but answers that his friend Dr. Jocelyn Dendy will come and help while away the time. Great preparations are made for his reception, including much interest by a Maiden Aunt. Each prepares a present to bestow on the Doctor, and feigns an ailment to interest him. The Doctor arrives—a woman. The climax, deftly worked out, is sprung on the audience at the last moment, and insures the play a complete success. The char- acters are all good, the Maiden Aunt and Mrs. Madoney are great character parts. MURDER WILL OUT. 15 cents. A farceinx act, for 6 female characters, by L. M. ELwyn. Time, 30 minutes. A breezy and effective farce, in which half a dozen bright girls can delight an audience with half an hour of innocent fun. Grandmother Stiles and her demure but frolicsome granddaughter are excellent charac- ters; Dinah, the colored cook, is amusing, and Bridget O’ Flaherty isa funny Irish girl—her quarrel with Dzxak being exceedingly laughable. The attempts of Lexa and her merry friends, May and Minnie, to hoodwink the old lady, and their final exposure, will keep the audience in a ripple of laughter. No scenery required. SOCIAL ASPIRATIONS. 15cents. A comedy in z act and 2 scenes, by HELEN SHERMAN GRIFFITH. 5 female characters. Bedroom scene afterwards transformed into a parlor. Plays about 45 minutes. A highly entertaining comedy in which Mrs. Chick and her two daughters from the United States are in Paris, bent on an extended tour, but meet with a Countess, who proposes to introduce them into fashionable society. They feel flattered and make a great fuss over the Countess, who turns out to be a lady’s maid dressed in her mistress’ finery, and is betrayed by the housemaid of the Jemsion. Disillusionment and exciting climax. MY AUNT’S HEIRESS. 15 cents. A comedy in z act. rz female characters. Parlor scene. Modern costumes. Time,1 hour. Hasa “Cinderella” sort of ot in which a rich widow adopts a ruse to decide which of her seven nieces shall inherit her fortune. It shows that envy and jealousy don’t pay, and that striv- ing to make pect bi y ia the best way to gain happiness for ourselves, Two ef she characters tam i @u6 girl, No scenery required. Vaudeville Sketches BERNSTEIN AND FIRESTEIN., 15 cents. A vaudeville sketch in Hebrew dialect for 2 male characters, by James F. Parsons. Time, about 15 minutes. Exceedingly funny both in ludicrous topics, Sheeney hits and droll repartee ; concluding with the song ‘Oh, My! Von’t We Make der Money!” for which the text and music are given. TWO WANDERING JEWS. 15 cents. A vaudeville sketch in Hebrew dialect, for 2 male characters, by HARRY E. SHELLAND, Time, about 15 min- utes, Full of funny and catchy dialogue and repartee, and ending with a song. NEW CHAUFFEUR, The. 15 cents. A vaudeville automobile skit, for 2 male characters, by Harry E. SHELLAND. Time, about 15 minutes, A Dutch brewer hires an ignorant Irishman for chauffeur. A terrible catastrophe and a racy dialogue in which Pa? gets the better of the Dutchman. Just too funny and leading up to dialect minstrelsy. MULDOON AND THE NIGGER; or, White and Black. 18 cents. A dialect vaudeville Sketch for two males, by H. E. SHELLAND. Muldoon, an Irish stage-manager, meets very suddenly Johnson, a darkey, whom he wished to engage as an actor in a Mephistopheles drama. After a lot of funny characteristic talk, they rehearse Johnson's part. After some ridiculous attempts at highfalutin’ tragedy, partly in very blank verse, Johnson collapses. They close with a song. MA’S NEW BOARDERS. 15 cents. A farcical sketch in x act, by W. C. PARKER. 4 male, 4 female characters. Mrs. Holdtight leaves her boarding- house in her daughter’s charge. Prof. Alto-Gether calls a rehearsal of the village choir, but gives them the wrong address. The choir turn up at Mrs. H.'s and ars mistaken for new boarders. Then follows an uproarious series of incidents that end in the Professor's round-up. Can be played ‘‘straight,” or with specialties, Excellent chance for single or edule quartette. No scenery required. Time, 30 minutes. PAPA’S BULLDOG. 115 cents. A farcical sketch in 1 act, by W. C, PARKER. 1 male, 1 female character. The hero tries to ‘*coach”’ his sweetheart in some private theatricals. Her ignorance exasperates him so completely that a furioua uarrel ensues. Unexpected consequences convince each that the other is crazy, and the fun is brought to a cyclonic climax by the intervention of Papa’s bulldog. The iece can be played “ straight,’’ or specialties may be introduced. Time, 30 minutes. o scenery required. AFTER THE BALL. 115 cents. A vaudeville character sketch in 1 act, by Harry E. SHELLAND. 1 male, x female character. Scene, a plain interior. Time, 20 minutes or longer, according to specialties introduced. A bright dialogue between a youth and girl of the old Bowery pattern, with disjointed remarks and rep- artee while dancing the two-step, and afferding opportunity for song and dance or other specialties. POINT OF VIEW, The. 15 cents. A sprightly comedy sketch, by Beit Ex.viotr PaAtmer. 1 male and 1 female character; time of representation, 20 minutes, in which Elixor Jardine tries to convince Fred Winston, to whom she is shortly to be married, that her conduct in regard to a former rejected suitor, although unconventional, is entirely justifiable. Fred confesses to a similar but pretended pro- ing with another young lady. /inor’s jealousy is so aroused that she calls down the engagement, He then proves that his flirtation is assumed merely to convince her that her Joint of view is absurdly untenable, a fact which she is gladly compelled to admit. Reconciliation follows, of course. An illustration of the feminine ‘* because”’ eutwitted by masculine strategy. PROFESSOR’S TRUANT GLOVES, The. 15 cents. A comedy sketch, by Bert Evtiotr Parmer. 1 male and x female character. Time of repre- sentation, 20 minutes. A charmingly elaborated duologue, showing how a young lady of extremely womanly discernment smooths the way to a declaration of love from a eee unaccustomed to women’s ways, and so terribly bashful and diffident, that he mis- terprets all she says and does, A fetching example of womanly tact and diplomacy. Plays for Male Characters WIDOW’S PROPOSALS, The. 15 cents. A farce in 1 act, by W. D. Fe.rer. 3 male characters—one impersonating an old woman, which is the lead- ing part. No scenery required. Time of playing, 30 minutes. An episode from i The ott Papers”’ that admits of low-comedy treatment, so that a suceession of giggles will greet its performance from first to last. The author has produced this skit at scores of entertainments, and never yet failed to bring down the house with it. APRIL FOOLS. 15 cents, A farce in x act, for 3 male oharacters, hy W. F. CHAPMAN. Time, 30 minutes. For a half hour of roaring fun this farce has few equals, It is brisk, bright and full of funny situations, and the characters are exceed- ingly well contrasted. Each imagining that the others are foolish, crazy or drunk, mfsunderstandings follow one another in rapid succession until, when everything is in a hopeless tangle, it is discovered that all three are the victims of a practical joker, who has made ‘‘April Fools’’ of them. No scenery required. WANTED, A MAHATMA. 15 cents. A comic sketch in 1 act, for 4 male characters, by Gorpon V. May. 1 interior scene. Professor Astralile, a fortune-teller, is in bad luck. Squire Babcock offers him a hundred dollars for a Mahatma. His friend, Frisby, an adventurer, disguises himself as a Mahatma. Squire puts his wallet on table. The temptation is too much for Frisby, who grabs the wallet. A struggle—the disguise falls off. Exposure and escape. HOLY ‘TERROR, A. 15 cents. A farce in 1 act by O. WENLANDT. 4 male characters—either white or black face. Plain room scene or no sceye at all, Costumes to suit, except that of one character who is rigged out as a howling ‘‘ swell.” Plays 30 minutes. Specialties can be introduced according to convenience and talent. The piece will make an audience laugh till they’re tired. WANTED, A CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 15 cents. A farce in rt act, by W. F. Cuapman. 6male characters, viz.: eccentric merchant with a weakness for proverbs, comic Irishman, ‘‘ dude,” talkative ‘‘sport,’’ shabby genteel “bummer” and the clerk who gets the situation. No scenery required. Time, 39 minutes. A capital farce with scope for easy charaeter acting, full of ridiculous situations, racy dialogue, comical ‘‘business’’ and spirited action. Shows a mer- chant’s difficulty in securing a satisfactory clerk, and creates unlimited merriment. MANAGER’S ‘TRIALS, A. 15 cents. A farce in x act, by A. L. Fisuer, for 9 male characters, viz.: theatrical manager, darky servant, ‘‘ tough,” dude, stage-struck Dutchman, crushed tragedian, Irish policeman, and 2 comic female réles (‘‘high kicker’’ and old maid) to be played by male actors. Danzel Slowman advertises for afew more people for the “ Fly by Night Folly Co.”” His encounters with the various stage-struck applicants who respond will make a mummy laugh. The piece is rich in opportunities for easy but telling character acting for 9 boys or young men, “MEDI -”’ 18cents. A farcein x act, by W. K. Eneie. 7 male char- acters—2 darkeys, 5 white faces. Scene, a doctor’s office. Costumes to suit. Time, 35 Minutes. Runs with a snap from beginning to end—there isn’t a slow part in it— and is sure to please. When originally played by the Amphion Minstrels, it elicited continuous screams of laughter from a delighted audience, It will bring down the house wherever played. SNOBSON’S STAG-PARTY. 15 cents. A farce in x act, by Levin C. Tees. 12 male characters, including 2 female impersonators. Parlor scene. Runs about 1 hour if played “straight’’; can be lengthened with ‘‘ special< ties’? (which are provided for) according to talent. In giving his party Sxodson invites the guests at random from the city directory. The guests arrive, including two ladies—white and black—who get in by mistake, and a hot old time ensues. Finally, 2222 Badlotbox comes in with a brass band and a political delegation, and the fun culminates in a regular war dance. The cast includes acrusty old gent, ga youth, “‘coon,” Dutchman, Irishman, Dago, Cockney, wench, Teh women toug! citizen, crushed tragedian, ward politician. The piece will fetch incessant roars of laughter, and can be made the medium of all kinds of “ specialties.” MISCHIEVOUS BOB. 15 cents. A comic drama intr act, fer 6 male characters. Plain room scene. ‘Time, 40 minutes. A taking farce tor boys, marked by a serious, and even pathetic, as well as comic interest. The characters are true te nature, and the moral gilded with genuine humor, 806 should be played by a boy ; tie size of the others is unimportant. : SFSSF>32° 399999999909999299990220990209, COMEDIES AND DRAMAS 15 CENTS EACH MY AWFUL DAD. Comedy that always makes a brilliant hit; 3 acts: MOUEE deVaede! esc ovenss sees akg Win & sewee your Ts aie caeh ean eh capes ee NIGHT IN TAPPAN, A. Farce comedy; excessively funny and sure to Be EMG Tee OE TRGUE Said isle o's calc bint oxo o tio'e d cove ce t's Oke co nice tks Cian vanes NOT SO BAD on leas ne Comedy ; sometimes plays as ‘‘ Is Marriage SRO Cee AMES be TREO buy viv Won eK KaE eON Daas ees ded” Fas aS ens s NOT SUCH A FOOL es HE LOOKS. Comedy; one of the best ex- amples of modern farcical comedy ever written; 3 acts; 2% hours........ OUR BOYS. Comedy; always succeeds; 3 acts; 2 Gout Saal dalewons me oho & OUT IN THE STREETS. Drama. Wherever this play is presented it is received with the greatest enthusiasm ; 3 acts; 1 hour..............0ee00- PAIR OF IDIOTS, A. Up- to-date society comedy, with bright and witty dialogue and telling situations ; 2 acts; 2 Hours..........ccceeeseeneeveee PICKING UP THE PIECES. Effective comedy either as a parlor play or Clik aiGee ey (ACU s GO: MINCE oe ccm ciaead ts reek clea ce Seta Ute iaecleas ROBERT EMMET, (New version.) A new, actable version of this great Ristorleaiscrainia’ ¢).3 ACCS): MOT isle'accinsls Wn dials ws, Jie’s sales e's tale eein wise elias SAVED FROM THE WRECK. Drama; serio-comic; 3 acts, 2 hours.... SCRAP OF PAPER, A. Comedy of the present time, full of healthy MILL OU SSI ACTS Ie NOEILS ¢ cial swale ea isled gains a viele Grass h itics ve a icisletae et, s lersieie's SHAKESPEARE WATER CURE. Burlesque comedy; each character a Sines ALLS Coe IOUT Ss sare Beh « nitiaines dyeeine ORs ATES Sune e eae nes ole die ere a THREE HATS. Farcical comedy ; one of the greatest favorites ; cannot fail to be a success; 3 acts; 2 hours...... Mey Nina aleteamtnteletorerass enero a sie,care Suietanerare TIMOTHY DELANO’S COURTSHIP. Yankee comedy full of pees RRCISCH Sat 2 ALIS oh PRDOUM ys oh cnet ot caters sors t eis este easibe prone ss os REDe a selene TRIED AND TRUE. Stirring play of city life, full of brisk action and fiers Bia a ACCRA NOUS og hoot so Hels saecan> sees a agate cide osha ds 50 ee us TRIPLE WEDDING. Short excellent drama of home life by the author of ** The County Fair’’; 3 acts, ; ETSNCMIIES sc tecaatarae octet ts SLs biel Se ges UNCLE JACK. Drama; comic, with a good moral; 1 mek 15% hours...... UNCLE TOM’S CABIN. New version, An oid fevotlse rewritten so that icampe frayed: invany: hall-;*5 acts.;: 267 hourss. oss ees ve sccscacde ban UNDER A CLOUD. Comedy drama; bright, breezy, full of snap and go; PAGES Pe TROLLS 3. 2a sae aia, « CMe ciate CER & 08 ac ecutia.a Cinclotie Semis eteiciew ateuaute UNEX PECTED FARE, AN. Comedy affording excellent scope for amusing SliMAeIONE Ali DY-Diay sh 1) act,; 26 HOUT i. aces be dacaedeceiccesesad yes WANDERER’S RETURN, THE. (Enoch Arden.) Drama with strong lot and effective characters ; AsAELS SV 2PP NOULS a ea px ge 8 reraiees cyalberdan © a che WOODCOCK’S LITTLE GAME. | Farce- comedy ; funny; 2 acts 5. 1 hour.. WOVEN WEB, THE. Strong and sparkling drama; has a military flavor, ee frequently played under the title of ‘In Old Virginia’; 4 acts; MAMMLORMAIN. (0rs dlecaratebows x Gag vt Hiatal ve el nie BALE oi 9. oh 12 dik ete elas chairs. acto Mean caianaen tare 3 DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann St. ’ Sscceecece MSSSSSSSESSTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE 4 COMEDIES AND DRAMAS) 25 CENTS EACH (\ ALL THE COMFORTS OF HOME. Comedy by William Gillette. Only authorized edition of this famous play; 4 acts; 214 hours....... sees. . BREAKING HIS BONDS. Strong drama with comic eee ye easily staged’s’ 4 acts $2 NOUIS ooo on hone cde beens oqnbie hele k cei Owen BUTTERNUT’S BRIDE; OR, SHE WOULD BE A ‘WIDOW. Farce comedy for laughing purposes only 33 acts 5296 NOULS . «see otiehe vais elelinits CAPTAIN DICK. Effective drama, founded on an episode of the Civil War ; Ziactss 2 NOUrS ys, 2s. 5 is vi ww cidis cbcl pale eisiaioisce are ae ak ee CaRee Fie aie ee ean DEACON, THE. Comedy drama that is simply immense. Alvyn Joslyn type, old man leading character ; 5 acts ; 244 hours........-.csceesccccecs EDWARDS THE SPY. Drama; a brilliant episode of the Civil War ; 5 acts ; 236 hOULS. 6 oe eel stele ec bin ucb 8 Ce k-stee tie Rie eu wie ealehhe tre ate eter an es ee ERIN GO BRAGH. Up-to-date Irish drama; both serious and comic in scope, Not 'sensationalsi sracts 3 2NoOUrss .'.. diac ae scale enn emma GOLDEN GULCH. (The Government Scout.) Drama that combines fun, sentiment, and exciting situations; 3 acts; 24 hours........ ..seecccccs GYPSY QUEEN, THE. Romantic drama with bright comedy parts; 4 aACts SP 226 HOUES. fo. 5 etek Cake eau ne Naas slau eae cope etiaiets eta erate ee dh Renmin JAILBIRD, THE. Drama of city life, containing a vivid plot with well- diversified interest, together with a pretty love-story ; 5 acts; 214 hours.. JOHN BRAG, DECEASED. Farce comedy; one of the best farces ever published ; nothing slow in this piece; 4 acts; 24% hours.....5..--.....++ JOSIAH’S COURTSHIP, Farcical comedy drama; uproarious comedy features alternate with forceful, but not heavy pathos; 4 acts; 2 hours.... SSSISSSSETSEES MAN FROM MAINE. Comedy drama with a wide-awake hero from ‘* Down \ East.".2 SB acts SUP NOU ee ay ats, sg CH Tks Volk cin Sn ome Aaiente oh Sa nae meta Oy BAN MISS MOSHER OF COLORADO. any drama with erie! ‘charade \ ter.” parts 374 ACTS, QA AHOUPSE ais o's.» oeta erat bie ced twas sye'uinte, Garis wit eae 53 OY MY LADY DARRELL... Drama possessing all the elements of success ; ‘ power situations, effective stage pictures, and grand climaxes; 4 acts ; We ROUTE Fess oc ad wal acpier oie cis d btlecihye ocoy oe else ign ata ecalnre Chats eyelets etnias 9 6 NIGHT OFF, A. Comedy by Augustin Daly; printed from the original prompt-copy *;a-acts; 256-Nours) ics: cpa eeeeeeen vee ebeee tees are et 6 5 PRISONER OF ANDERSONVILLE.. Military comedy. drama. An excel- lent play for amateurs, as all the parts are good and evenly divided ; 4 acts ; DU OUPS « 2c gino dinsisie.e pists © 81h e WUla NALS. pote 8 pi mc cieca Bremmya SIMI tort ea ree he ALO REGULAR FLIRT, A. we to-date comedy, especially recommended to those who have produced the author's *‘ Just for Fun”’; 3 acts; 2hours... 4 4 SEVEN-TWENTY-EIGHT. By Augustin Daly. There have been several imitations jot this comedy, but none of them approaches the original ; ae SSSSSSESESE d4acts;2% hours, ........ bate aisteterasa ata baie Biel vias fae asta @ pleats eae a orate aan ne tae 4 SHAUN AKOON., Stirring drama of home life in Ireland; a tiple real pic- b ei ture of country life in the Emerald Isle ; 3 acts; 2 Hours... ub a sesseees 7 3 & | SQUIRE TOM Paths DAUGHTER. Strong comedy drama; 5 acts; ‘ BTU. Fa Gi scarscere wie eo,s arco clnidaleie sate. aieizsaceier eM aaele easter ele ary eae rt owe eek STEEL KING, THE. Comedy drama with brisk action; depicts the strug- \ gle between labor and capital; 4 acts ; 214 hours...........ssceee cones ase AS Ny WHAT’S NEXT? Farce comedy; 3 atte ; plays 150 minutes; raises 150 : ENT 40 Cran, PAE SRA CFE OBC EAC Ssh pak (ele vec Won larree EYED Ge or. sleteibie entre 7 ead. ¥ WHITE LIE, A. Comedy drama; abounds in laughable comedy features W and strong situations of serious interest; 4 acts ; 244 hours............. be 453 DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann St., N. Y. PP ae a a ae ae ae ae ea es A: es NO ee Bs Ms Lr Ss se PoP PN ae SE ’s SE we PSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSS TESESSSSCSSSSSESSSSSSES cece’ '