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Ader Ems RNAP AD: aea Deady {Lid iy fn anige's sige ged she pay i HO yea haat } 1521 94 h0 os Semmeseteth ANH He Made het choc ipe MPP Ter iers ch hd local fot Loan rane Ue eee Lee te wettest p24) bean tstrhteiy + nea iy senesis + Sthe ven “strlen e pete A Saad tee rots) ea THE UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS LIBRARY Pre, | —| Saltb a €- = “Ss ~*Return this book on or before the Latest Date stamped below. A charge is made on all overdue books. University of Illinois Library DEC Or Ke DEc 101943 / bee! a24nr 4 § 7 CG ~ 4 ers ud Ld oe We How You Can Keep Happy ° ON AMR WNo ell ened aon till aeeetill nen till etl oe adh gehen sl Se 17. OTHER BOOKS BY Dr. WILLIAM S. SADLER AND Dr. LENA K. SADLER Cw THE CAUSE AND CuRE OF COLDs. THE SCIENCE OF LIVING. ‘THE PuHysIoLoGcy OF FAITH AND FEAR. Worry AND NERVOUSNESS. THE MotTHer AND HER CHILD. How To REpucE AND How To GAIN. RacEe DECADENCE. WHAT A SALESMAN SHOULD Know Asout His HEALTH. PERSONALITY AND HEALTH. How To FEED THE Bapy. THE ESSENTIALS OF HEALTHFUL LIVING. THe TrutH Asout HEreEpIty. THE TRutH Asout MINpD CurRE. THE TRUTH ABOUT SPIRITUALISM. THE ELEMENTS OF PEP. AMERICANITIS: BLOOD PRESSURE AND NERVES. CoNSTIPATION—How To CurE YOURSELF. How You Can Keep Happy BY WILLIAM S. SADLER, M.D., F.A.C.S. Formerly Professor at the Post Graduate Medical School of Chicago; Senior Attending Surgeon to Columbus Hospital; Director of the Chicago Institute of Research and Diagnosis; Fellow of the American College of Surgeons; Fellow of the American Medical Association; Member of the Chicago Medi- cal Society, the Illinois State Medical Society, the American Public Health Association, etc, etc.) 4 ani : 7 * A PA Amer, Si ee ne TP form at ee Py ; 4 vi AMERICAN HEALTH BOOK CONCERN CHICAGO 1926 . Copyright 1926 WILLIAM S. SADLER Copyrighted in Great Britain Published December, 1926 Printed in the United States of America ‘ PREFACE A quarter of a century’s study of the subject of human happiness has convinced me that the joy of living is largely a question of emotional control; that a few of our inherited and acquired emotions and senti- ments, if allowed to dominate, fill us with joy; but, on the other hand, if many of our more primitive and less desirable emotions are allowed to gain the ascendancy, we are filled with sorrow, fear, and unhappiness. This book is divided into four parts, the first having to do with a discussion of the essentials of happiness, those problems in emotional control and conduct man- agement “which are absolutely essential to normal,” 4) average, human_ happiness. Part II deals with the a spiness, those emotions ‘and ‘sentiments which, while not absolutely. essential to normal human deta ener 8 OS eat tad ess Noe: pe if reper « controlled, serve greatly to in- : give ‘first attention to the essentials of happiness, we should in no manner neglect these auxiliary influences and experiences which are so able to add to the sum total of human happiness, especially in the case of the better developed and more highly educated types of men and women. Part III deals with that group of influences, emo- tions, sentiments, etc., etc., which il Hee Ore interfere with the enjoyment of happiness. These are the little joy-killing demons that 1 invariably Wal on f over-indulged, invari=-"~ grief and usher in sorrow. They must become taboo in the lives of those who would enjoy the highest pleas- ures of living and experience the delights of real and abiding happiness. _ Part IV is devoted to a consideration. of the gssen- Reece a matter of ‘ ee climate,” the Eaakni of self-control is thoroughly discussed in this section. In an appendix will be found a full discussion of human emotions, sentiments, and convictions. This has been added for the benefit of those readers who might desire to pursue this phase of the study more fully. For twenty years my wife and professional co- laborer, Dr. Lena K. Sadler, collaborated with me in making notes of those influences and agencies which were productive or destructive of happiness in the lives of our patients. In fact, Dr. Lena has contributed so much to this work and has offered so many helpful suggestions that her name really should appear as co- author. And so, as this volume is sent forth on its mis- sion in the world, she joins with me in wishing that it may be the means of helping many sorrow-stricken and fear-ridden souls to find deliverance from their prison- house of depression and more fully to enjoy the de- lights of work, play, humor, and those other emotions and sentiments which are the ancestors of human hap- piness. WILLIAM S. SADLER. 533 Diversey Parkway, Chicago. October, 1926. TABLE OF CONTENTS Part 1 THE ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS Page 1. Good Health—A Sound Body......... 4 2. Congenial Work—Agreeable Employ- 108 Ved 8) SiR Is ged aU ae HAM y: Bin 10 AR UN Aa 12 3. Self-Control—Common Sense Discipline 30 4. Human Companionship—Pleasant Asso- CLALIONS ors eee ide oe ee wi cmene ie 49 5. Ambition—Personality-Pride ......... Dh 6. Courage—Self-Confidence ........... 63 7. Religion—Faith and Hope........... i Part Ii THE Luxuries or HApPINEsSs PWV ealth—-Ileisune eee eee bei 88 PASM RA GA cn BV 412) ates MEIN earn ya i 4) PORE EEE 104 So emucation——Caltures eal! aves ee 114 UAT fem VAIS Ce ta M eee! lle le a losk la deadeny Cem ete 121 Se L PAvel A CVENLULE day oc, oo oid cata ene Pah bu Laame--and Childrenn. 6. ooo dl cia ae 135 PEA OECCH CTMOSODI is. kia che vdvela yrs whe 145 Part III Joy Kirrers—Tue LITTLe oe Tuat Sport HAPPINESS” Bide g otters Pa ROM CU cue AS 166 1 2. Hurry—Nervous Tension ........... 172 De NVOEEY——teMTONic) MEAP iy. Sie. cio Sales eg 181 MED ESC PA VATANCE 5 oN kate sla ele esc 188 Dy eooelish css——Pxalted Kgo. 2... 6... ei 193 6. Suspicion—Intolerance .............. 1a) 7 Idleness—Loneliness ...........020% 208 vii Page 8. -Anger—Pugnacity: 5 iis ironnel a 214 9... Hate—Revenge! ie ae ae 220 10. Conscience—Emotional Conflicts ...... Pea | Part IV THE SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 1. Nervous Slavery—Emotional Sprawls.. 237 20) Taking Yourself in andi) eee 240 3. Psychic Adjustment and Readjustment.. 245 4. Tangled Emotions—Crossed Wires.... 247 , 5. 6. The Technic of Emotional Control..... 252 Imagination in the Practice of Self-Con- trol ee er 255 7. The Mischief of Uncontrolled Thinking 260 APPENDIX: HUMAN EMOTIONS, INSTINCTS, AND SENTIMENTS | I Primary INSTINCTS AND EMOTIONS Dey Fear vk os al ee 266 20) Disgust oy. 4.0). Ct 267 3... Wonder... jag ee ee 268 4. Elation o..044.3 423 ee 268 5.. \Subjection. ./... pee 269 6. Tenderness) 0920 See 269 7. Sex-hun ger 40 ee eee 270 8.» unger: j,i as Serer 271 Of Security. z.) Ges i 271 10... Hoarding i c8 es Sees ale 11.) Pride‘of. Creation: Angas cee 273 12. Anger 0). 0G... 0 eee ee a II SEcoNDARY oR ComposITE EMorIoNns 1. Sympathy: (5 are ace ee 215 2. Admiration + si 3o eye ee ieee: 276 Ren L INI PACION ea suepeMeRaNCR eho mierda a Sie 276 Ao Rivalry peta te ua cai aie Ot 277 Fees MaMIty ioe Wate nim > weahe eert aera ie tere 277 st dha Be Ta FOR EM nee) SIURCUP ISSR ea yy ate 278 TiO CSPAETUGE Aw naceunie Cetin atel dntater oi 278 BANE Wis is aan Aen Ure (Ui BP AN 279 Qe Reverence ary aa irenmers erate ounce 249 BOP Eli 7 Bas aS es aru caster (a 280 PERE REMOTSCHIS 4 as ata ties wate, see 280 D2 ADCO PN Ae eras irmaialens A cese ye WIT 281 1359e Contempe erat ae et ie, wont ait 281 TADS Aversion: 2B Shee net ice eile cree. 281 P52 Compares tes iar ay etaleis ayer PASS Aas III HUMAN SENTIMENTS 1 Pity. sc tas Sea iat al 283 2 EG Hame ve qin van eb abe ae alone ee rete 284 Se pea lausvirwaiens cok sree ee vestume i W 284 A REVENGE Tawi (a bie ec aNeme buens ee 285 Bi RET OAH aici sea isrelalteteneitn tte phe 's) 285 Go Eyer ee eS fea leap 286 Ef vaee bo ciate Coa Nyannes Ga: AMaRNN uy ot Bw 286 OMS es Faby steniav Leet ere Satta ONE Gea 287 ETO VE a aah ye OM agra Ota alia 'a amo > 287 LOPNRE TAC eae eee we ate yen te. J. 288 IV HuMAN CONVICTIONS i | Leg Shera ta bol ovpmpeae aye Ab La Meier 290 POA IEL ILS E Miiesrte eis es anew. hk Apa 290 Gite) Patriotisnin sais ss smb PRM MS A 299 AMR OTOP: Od hava cnetet tiene eiqyey tae Jet 291 5. Occupational Loyalty .......-. 291 6. Family Loyalty ...........--- 291 7. Social Conventions........---- 292 1X ai Ta 4 rs It is the consensus of opinion that man has a right to be happy. The Declaration of American Independ- ence says: “‘We hold these truths to be self-evident— that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among them are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happi- ness.” Cw “Success may be the ability to get what you want; but happiness is the ability to want what you have.”’ HOW YOU CAN KEEP HAPPY leveled Mia THE ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS ce is largely a question of internal climate —emotional control. Happiness does not con- sist in the abundance of things possessed and is not altogether determined by the nature of our environ- ment. Fiuman beings are dominated by certain in- herent “and acquired emotions and it is their reaction to these feelings and emotions that determines for the time being their HOSS and, in the end, by frequent ~————-. 0... a seconda ie on aha you think about your Rosie how you react to your,emotions. Happiness is the j joy of living and it, determined by the manner in which we f €é emotions and sentiments which are contr to joy, while we suppress or control those feelings and emotions which are produc- tive of sorrow and grief. Our more profound emotions are the feelings which embrace our consciousness in the presence of some un- usual situation, and this psychic state is usually accom- panied by more or less change of the circulation in some of our internal organs. We should also clearly understand the: che ductless gland system of the body has a gre: deal to do, in a chemical way, with the 1 ——_— How You CAN KEEP HAPPY instigation and regulation of our more complex emo- tional experiences. But man is not altogether a helpless bark adrift on the seas of time; while we are more or less creatures of instinct, nevertheless, there is a certain domain in which human beings do exercise the power of choice. There is a realm of human experience in which the individual has the power of decision. ‘There is a do- main of self-control, and while it varies in different individuals, it is nevertheless a fact that man is, within certain limits, the architect of his own destiny. There is in human experience a field for the exercise of self- control and the degree to which this control is exer- cised largely determines, in the end, our degree of happiness and joy. Now, while it is true that happiness is largely a question of “emotional control,” there are external conditions which, as well, contribute to the joy of liv- ing. There are conditions entirely outside ourselves— things having.to do with our psychic pleasures, mate- rial satisfaction, and physical health—which also are intimately associated with the problems of happiness and sorrow. There is constantly. surging thesnah the soul a flood of conflicting impulses, feelings, and emotions. ‘The average undisciplined mind lives in the presence of a veritable maelstrom of warring instincts, primitive . emotions, and modern conventionalities. One of the problems of living in the midst of present-day civiliza- tion is to determine how we can organize, co-ordinate, and associate our experiences so as +9 weave them all into a harmonious pattern of peace. «© \ In any large city, that vast army of ¢ivine ’ “" ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 3 Ss —_—e \ - \airvoyants, card readers, mind readers, fortune in and spiritualistic mediums, testifies not only to \the persistent_superstition and ignorance of mankind, but also eloquently proclaims the insatiable. ‘quest for happiness and joy. _ Anything which fills the human mind to overflowing, whether ‘it be “ambition, _constructiveness, imagination, or \religion—I say, anything - that_really fills.and in- trigues “the mind; makes for happiness. We enjoy more Or less happiness whilst we are enthusiastically engaged in the-pursuit of those things which we be- lieve, even evel Partially 1 in STOR are essential to Dip tuppiness. Did you know that happiness is a harvest you reap from’ the seed-sowing of your daily living? You are entitled to a bountiful crop-of-joy if you-sow the right seed. Look over the seeds of happiness and see if you are planting and cultivating those habits and practices which ripen into health and happiness. | You see, happiness-i is-not.some sort of thing you can buy, invent; or get for a Christmas present. It is like read or an exquisite cake, it is made, it con- ‘sists of compounding numerous ingredients and then ‘subjecting the compounds to certain essential condi- tions, to cook it properly. You can’t go to the bake shop and buy your happiness. You can’t inherit money, join a church, get married, or do any other concrete thing and get happiness. You must mix it up and cook it in the oven of your own trials and experiences. You are going to get out of that oven of personal experience just what you put in, tempered by the skill with which you have managed the baking, the care with which you have supplied all the “little things’ which go so far “4 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY ! toward spoiling or making the ‘‘cake” and ' Lo r toward “making” or ‘“‘breaking’” human. /'$e I have elected to discuss the essentials of ove (1e;\$ ‘under the following seven heads: Good health—a sound body. Congenial work—agreeable employment. Self-control—common sense discipline. Human companionship—pleasant associations. Ambition—personality-pride. Courage—self-confidence. Religion—faith and hope. es oe 1. -Goop. Hrattu—A Sounp Bopy It is a foregone conclusion that health is essential happiness, though we must admit that every now anc then we run across those courageous souls who, eve in the midst of sickness and suffering, maintain that evenness of temperament and tranquility of soul that compel our admiration and foster our esteem for these extraordinary persons who are thus able so successfully to rise above the infirmities of the flesh. et But when all is said and done, we are in the best position to enjoy happiness if we have average good health. While heredity, our ductless gland system, - and our constitutional vitality—while all these things | we receive from our ancestors have much to do with ‘health, much more than we commonly suppose; never- theless, our own habits of living, the manner in which we conform to the requirements of modern sanitation and comply with the demands of the laws of hygienic living—I say, our personal behavior has much t to do with determining the degree of health we may e1 ‘enjoy. Space will not permit us thoroughly to i ye t "1 if i (is aia % \ / / ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS s. ’ nd hygiene in this connection. These topics we have ully considered in other volumes,* but in passing, they eadet’s attention should be called to the fact that our’ abit-s of eating and dressing, working and sleeping, esting and playing, are all factors which must be o\nsidered in connection with health. The physical ydy must have reasonable exercise if it is to be main- ‘ained in good condition. We must learn how to take care of our vital organs: the lungs, heart, liver, stomach, and kidneys. If we are going to share in the blessings of the increase in aye average length of life, we must do our part in obey- ng the laws of hygienic living which have made this ' le possible; as well as avail ourselves of the lages of improved sanitation and public health es which have also contributed their share to ing the span of human life. ‘can’t expect to enjoy good health if our blood re is dangerously high, producing a tense, uneasy on the one hand, and predisposing us to the of grave physical catastrophe on the other. r are we going to enjoy life at its best if our pressure is too much below normal, giving us red out, good-for-nothing feeling which is so ata Re brain fag and nervous exhaustion. nus . y\it that we have a good blood stream, ur Bem’ ; Sroperly assimilated; that our heart is od cOuuition, and that our blood pressure is fairly al, if we are going to lay the foundation for a and joyful 1f-. can’t expect to enjoy: life at its fullest if we are Science of Living, A. C. McClurg & Co., Chicago. The Es- f Healthful Living, Macmillan & Co., New York. 6 How You CAN KEEP HAP: suffering from digestive disorders. Happin go well with “biliousness’”’ and whether our wrong dietetic practices, ulcers of the stomach, C appendicitis, gall-stones, or nervous indigestion, w forced to seek relief from these conditions before can become candidates for admission to the realms true joy and happiness. It is positively sinful the way some people choose remain in ignorance about matters of diet, food values balanced bills of fare, over-eating, lack of vitamins, etc’ With all of this information so easily available at the present time, there is no excuse for the average perso: remaining in such ignorance as to harm himself, these matters of nutrition so as to interfer... 4 health and thus detract from the higher ate life. We have long heard that cleanliness is - ness, yet some people have not yet awaker: that flies are carriers of the filth dis. typhoid fever, dysentery, etc. Not es himself of the full health benefits to ba regular hygienic bathing. Health is the very foundation of hap great need of the hour is more attentior of personal hygiene. Public health ha adyances as compared with personal hygiene. American people stand in need of a real hr revival. We are not all fully awakened yet as to the da of dust. We fail to appreciate that ordinary ( sometimes the airship of mischievous microbes. we are not afraid of sewer gas and deca >: 2 veg to the extent we were in former generat « ESsENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 7 ess we should see to it that our premises are kept clean and sanitary. | ’ pA HEALTH AND EMOTIONS Our health is, of course, tremendously influenced by 4s we proceed with our study, so that the mind is not only a direct factor in human happiness, but an indirect one, in that it comes to influence the health to such an extent that it may thus indirectly affect our happiness hrough its effect upon the physical well-being. Again, we must recognize that all our feelings and emotions rest upon a | firm ph sical basis. Aside from — ny beliefs we may entertain regarding the possibility of man being indwelt by some spiritual monitor—lI say, aside from these religious or philosophical beliefs, 1odern physiologists and psychologists tell us that our thoughts and feelings, our emotions and sentiments, are uilt up out of the cumulative impressions or sensations which pass into the brain over the nerves and through the special senses of the physical body; and it behooves us therefore to keep this physical mechanism in the best possible condition, in the most efficient working order, to the end that our incoming sensations may be of a high and healthy sort. We cannot expect to construct healthy feelings, high ambitions, and noble emotions out of unhealthy sensa- tions and unwholesome physical impressions. ‘The physical body is the mechanism for receiving and trans- mitting the ancestors of our thoughts and sentiments, and it is our highest duty to keep this transmitting mechanism in the best possible physical condition. Hunger is one of the primary emotions associated -he mental state, as will be more and more discovered “~~ | F the world. It is the physical foundation of all happi- F ‘fi: ness. _both health and efficiency. Success is essential to happi- \ /ness, and efficiency is indispensable to success, and 8 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY with the nutrition instinct, and hunger, is one of the true and real pleasures of living. {Lo satisfy one’s appetite when it is keen and sharp ftom physical exer- tion and from the accomplishment of the pleasurable > tasks of our daily toil—well, there are few physical pleasures which are so contributory to the happiness of living as the appeasing of hunger.* You can’t expect to enjoy happiness when you are suffering from physical lassitude, intellectual indiffer- \ ence, and moral idleness. Health presupposes action. Happy people, generally speaking, are always healthy people. Healthy folks are those who are filled with pep. Pep is a slang expression which has come into general use in recent times, and has come to stand for physical health is the very foundation of efficiency. | 4 Health, practically speaking, is the greatest thing in \ I know a woman who possesses all of the essentials —even the luxuries—of happiness, but she fails to enjoy life because of her physical afflictions. II] health effectively neutralizes all those other things which — would otherwise make her supremely happy. ‘There is — the case of a business man, a prince of a fellow, who : certainly deserves happiness; he has everything—tem- — perament, wealth, work, family—which could be de- sired to make one happy, but unwise habits of living - have undermined his health, over-exertion has shat-— tered his nerves, he has broken down in the struggle of - See Fae *For a fuller consideration of hunger and other instincts an «mo- tions—see Appendix. af "| is: ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 9 life and today is exceedingly miserable, very unhappy. Life is a burden to this man and he is a burden to his family, though they are doing everything possible to restore him to health—and to happiness. 5 It is all but impossible to have happiness without” health—the one is indispensable to the other; and it is almost equally true that it is hard to keep health with- out happiness. HOW HE CAME BACK rf . *The other day I was walking along the street when I was hailed by a cheery, “Hello, Doctor, how are you?” Turning quickly I grasped the outstretched hand of a former patient of mine. He was the picture of health and happiness, a man full of unquenchable energy, and obviously in love with life. And yet, less than two years before, this same man had stood in my office the very picture of misery and despair. In his eagerness to achieve position and money he had played fast and loose with his health. Meals were neglected, exercise cut out, home and friends relegated to the background. Every ounce of his strength was given to one thing—business. He lived with it night and day. And, as business has a habit of doing, it had — _ returned his devotion and singleness of purpose by — giving him indigestion, high blood pressure, bilious headaches, and insomnia. This man had been caught in a vicious circle of his own making. Short of temper and long of face, he made his associates miserable in their contact with him. His wife and family suffered through his petu- lancy and illttemper, and his unpleasantness was re- flected in daily quarrels. Consequently, he saw nothing Vv 10 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY but unhappiness around him. Naturally this worked on his undermined health to such an extent that he was on the verge of a complete breakdown when he asked my help. After a great deal of threshing around and consid- erable argument, he was a good enough sport to realize that the whole miserable situation had been brought on by himself, and he promised faithfully to take himself in hand, and try to lead a roarmal, wholesome life. His hardest tussle was with his business; for forth- with he had to turn a right-about-face and learn to put that in its proper place. At my suggestion, he inter- ested himself in a boys’ club. Every day he forced himself to give several hours of his time to club work. ~ He entered into the boys’ sports, and into their prob- lems—and thereby found wonderful diversion and restoration. At first he had an extremely hard time getting hold — of himself. But he did it. He won the respect and liking of the lads. In the curative radiation of happi- ness that this voluntary service brought forth, his grouch gradually melted away. Careful attention to © diet further sweetened his disposition, while regular exercise completed his metamorphosis by building up his weakened body and shattered nerves. Within a year he could sleep like a top, eat like a horse, and relax with the ease of a baby. From a cranky pessimist he changed to a thoroughgoing optimist, absolutely in tune with his associates, his family and his environment. This book could be filled with the stories of men who have lost happiness through ill health. Sickness is incompatible with the joy of living. It is difficult to | have a sweet disposition in the presence of a sour SF EsSsENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 11 stomach. It is hard to experience cheerfulness of mind in the face of physical depression. I recall the case of a miserable old pessimist—a man who was a confirmed grouch—who was suffering from half a dozen different maladies. A few years back this man took himself in hand, went through a thorough examination, and one by one set about to master his ailments—made up his mind to get well—and he did it; in two years he had recovered from gall-stones, gout, indigestion, constipation, headache, insomnia, rheumatism, and still other disorders. Today, you could not hope to find a more happy, cheerful, optim- isticsoul. He certainly does enjoy living and he simply radiates sunshine to everyone about him. a ‘The pessimist who said that happiness is the fleeting interval between periods of unhappiness must have had a coated tongue and a sour stomach, While | must admit that happiness is largely a spiritual growth, \ \ | a thing of mind rather than of flesh, nevertheless, its \ roots are anchored and nurtured in our physical well- ; _ being. “Tf you are well—if you enjoy good health—you | have the foundation for happiness; if you are sick, ) make the best of your afflictions—be happy in spite of _ your trouble; but if you would enjoy the highest pleas- ure of living, cultivate health as the chief of all the \ essentials of a happy life. As already intimated there is practically no end to the discussion of health in its relation to happiness, but at this time, we can only offer these brief suggestions, trusting that those of our readers who are in need of - further assistance along this line, who are victims of sorrow and suffer from unhappiness as the result of poor health—lI say, I trust they will seek further infor- mation in works devoted more fully to instructing the layman in the art of keeping well. 12 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 2. CONGENIAL WORK—AGREEABLE EMPLOYMENT There is supreme satisfaction in doing things. There © is joy in producing, out of raw materials, the thing which had its birth and origin in the imagination of the mind. One of the primary instincts of the race is construc- tion*——-and there is associated with this inherent in- stinct an emotion which we might fittingly term the _ pride of creation; and all this culminates in that higher human sentiment of loyalty to one’s occupation, craft, or profession. There is real joy in pioneering. There is real ecstasy in toil when our efforts are accompanied by an almost religious conviction that we are performing a real service, not only for ourselves, but for our fellows. There is joy in the sweat of the brow when we feel that _ our toil is in obedience to a Divine urge. When we engage in work we must remember that if our efforts are selfish and sordid, our toil is only en- titled to recognition as pseudo-work. j But through all this exhortation to toil, we must — remember that man is not by nature a working animal, though he is a constructive animal; and this instinct of — construction must be constantly injected into the idea — of toil in order to provide the emotional elements that contribute to joy and happiness. ‘ Work should always be in keeping with our powers, ’ > aE > *See Appendix for further discussion of emotions. SN) 5 \ i ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 13 con istent with our temperament, and adapted to our cap: city; and as far as possible our toil should be along the |. nes of our own choosing. We can do more work with !ess strain if the heart is in it, if we really like the job). When we come to consider the value of work as a contribution to joy and happiness, we must remember that primitive man, while he was a fighting and playing animal, was hardly a working animal. Work has come to be imposed upon us by those demands of modern civilization which make it necessary for us to exert our- selves in order to satisfy the hoarding impulse; but much dissatisfaction has been sown in the hearts of the laborers by the modern labor agitator who is always contending for shorter hours and more pay. | I am sure all broad-minded people want the working man to have the full reward of his labor, but there 1s a danger that this constant agitation for shorter hours will serve to augment the already too prevalent idea. that labor is undignified, ignoble, and a thing altogether — to be shunned. The tremendous development of modern machinery has done much to deprive man of his joy of construc- tion, the pride of creation. Work has become alto- gether too mechanical and thus the zest of it has all but deserted the average workman. While the invention of labor-saving machinery and the improvement of tools have done much to liberate man from the drudgery of his toil; these inventions have also made it necessary to find new motives for toil. New incentives must be discovered to enlist the interest and fire the enthusiasm of the worker. Every- thing depends, pp far as happiness is concerned, on the ST -% j / 14 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY spirit man puts into his labor. As the poet (Gu jst) puts it—much depends on “How You Tackle Your Work:’’* / j | “You can do as much as you think you can,’ But you'll never accomplish more; If you’re afraid of yourself, young man, There’s little for you in store. For failure comes from the inside first, It’s there if we only knew it, And you can win, though you face the worst, If you feel that you’re going to do it. Success! It’s found in the soul of you, And not in the realm of luck! The world will furnish the work to do, But you must provide the pluck. You can do whatever you think you can, It’s all in the way you view it. It’s all in the start you make, young man; You must feel that you’re going to do it.” I know of a boy who belonged to a large family; he had many uncles and aunts, and altogether almost thirty cousins. Now this family on the whole was pretty well-to-do. All this boy’s cousins were well educated. Many of them had studied and traveled abroad. But when he was eight years of age, his father’s financial ship went upon the rocks, and bank- ruptcy overtook him; and this boy was left, as it were, alone in the world to make his own way. He struggled hard to get an education, and no dow»: looked with *From “‘A Heap o’ Livin’,” The Reilly & Lee Gy, ry | ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 15 envy upon his many cousins, who, because of their worldly possessions, were able to lead lives of leisure; his earlier years were somewhat embittered by these _ hardships and because of the difficulties which beset his pathway of life; but he was ambitious and not only that, necessity bade him toil and struggle. To make a long story short, he grew to manhood, secured not only his college training, but a technical training in addition, and became a great success—a man known in this country from coast to coast. He was the subsequent envy of all his cousins; the idol of his uncles and aunts; and the one person who was held up to his younger cousins as an incentive, as an object lesson, as a shining example, every time the parents of _ these well-to-do children sought to inspire their idle offspring with the notion of becoming somebody, or doing something in the world. Now, it should be further recorded that this seem- ingly unfortunate lad was not only the most prosperous and worth while member of this whole tribe, but he was by far the most happy. He was fortunate in his marriage, and this splendid wife helped him to sweeten up what bitterness there remained of the fact that none of his well-to-do relatives had come forward to help him secure an education or to assist with the long and expensive special course of training which he had un- _ dergone. At last he came to see that after all his lot had been the more fortunate; that his troubles had really been blessings in disguise, and later he came to feel very kindly toward his people. Today as his years are ripening he is a mellow, considerate, kindly, and sympa- thetic fellow, a man who, although he has achieved | . ry \ 4 16 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY great success in life, bears his honors gracefully and is withal unusually happy and cheerful. In modern times we have come to entertain wrong ideas of work. Perhaps in view of the natural tendency of primitive man, it is not strange that human beings should seek to dodge work. Man is certainly much more of a hunting and fighting animal than he is a working animal. Even theology has become tainted with the idea that work is a curse. Man is conceived as being happy and in Paradise when he was free from labor, but that he was under a curse when he was ejected from the beautiful garden and consigned to work. ONE BOY’S SOLUTION Never does the thought of the blessing of hard. — work, of forced effort, pass through my mind but I © think of the boby—a member of a family of seven, next — to the oldest, who became so disgusted with the social © rounds of his set and with the useless lives his wealthy — parents led, as well as the indolent existence of his — brothers and sisters—especially his older brother who. | had already succumbed to the wiles of strong drink— | I say, this lad got to thinking about it all one day, and — packed his grip, drew out what little money he had in 4 savings account, and cleared out. Of course, this nearly broke his mother’s heart, and — a great hullabaloo was made trying to find him, but he © covered his tracks so well he was not discovered. Ere — long he was given up for dead, but after ten years he © disclosed his whereabouts and was found to have made good, to have married a splendid woman—true, of the © middle class—he was the father of two or three healthy — children, and was well established in his business. Pe Oe a ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 1:7 How proud the whole family were of him after they became reconciled to the fact that he was one of the - world’s workers, and what a difference between this chap and his brothers and sisters! The restless, bored, cynical manner of the days of his youth had disap- peared. He was a broad-minded, big hearted, sympa- thetic, unselfish sort of chap, whom his wife and babies adored, his business associates loved, and in addition he was supremely happy in the satisfaction of his achievement. ‘Thus work was able to redeem a social parasite and make of him one of Nature’s noblemen, a son of toil, a so-called self-made man. We all know that lad is counted fortunate who is born in the midst of affluence and is able to enjoy leisure and avoid the demands of toil; and so for various reasons, manual labor has come to be asso- ciated with sorrow and misfortune. Both the Greeks and the Romans looked upon toil as abhorrent. In Athens, no gentleman worked, and this idea seems to have obtained down to the days of Christ. 7b THE CHRISTIAN VIEWPOINT The Man of Nazareth was a carpenter. He worked the greater part of His life at the carpenter’s trade, and the public opinion of His day with regard to labor is well voiced on the part of the people, who, although attracted by His teachings, hesitated to believe in Him, for they said, “Is not this man a carpenter’s son?” They were loath to believe that a great teacher could arise from the ranks of labor. But Christ sought in every way to dignify labor. It was He who said: ‘‘My father worketh hitherto, and I work.” And further the Master said: “To every 18 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 7 man his work.” ‘It is further a part of Christian philosophy that as human beings we may become “Workers together with God.’ And so Christ by both precept and example sought to redeem work from > the disrepute it had fallen into down through the pre- Christian ages, and he evidently did much to restore the dignity of toil, for Paul, the Christian philosopher, subsequently wrote:.“‘Let him that stole, steal no more, but rather work.” With the passing of the Dark Ages, labor began to gain recognition so that Carlyle, in speaking of the social parasites of England, said: “In God’s name work—produce something, and thus you will consume your own smoke.” : The idle rich—our social parasites—are unhappy; and the idle poor—our tramps—are also unhappy; and | why? Both for the same reason; because of their idle- | ness. Not primarily because either of their riches or “_ their poverty. What makes them unhappy is the lack of that satisfaction which comes from the accomplish- ment of labor, the achievement of work. : In this connection, I am reminded of a patient I had a few years ago—a man who had, through inheritance : and so-called good luck, come into possession of many 4 millions, and who started out on one grand chase for happiness. In his earlier years he had been raised in _ comfort, with just enough of this world’s goods to make it unnecessary for him to work, or worry about spending-money. ’ For fifteen years this Felloy kept chasing the rain- bow, drinking more and more, repeatedly circling the globe, always followed by a retinue of hangers-», who delighted in keeping him half soused most of tic time, ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 19 because he was more liberal when he was pretty well intoxicated—he had a tende, cy to give away money in smaller bunches when he ¥’:s sober. And so this went on until he finally was turned down for life insurance because of high blood pressure and kidney trouble, and that is when he began to take stock. As a result of his misspent life, and the worry over his physical condition, a nervous breakdown came on, and he was most miserable. Sanitariums, nurses, doc- tors, hospitals, and what not brought him no comfort, and it was about this time that I ran across him. I saw there was just one thing that could ever save this chap, and that was to go to work, but my gentle hints along this line bore no fruit, and finally I had a frank talk with him, after I had secured his confidence, and told him there was only one condition on which I would act as his medical adviser, and that was for him to go immediately to work and promise me to get married as soon as he could fall in love. He entered into a formal agreement with me, signed a contract to do this, and the most phenomenal part of it is that he did it. He went to work. In time he got _ well and he actually did find a good woman who was willing to marry him. He established a home and what a transformation! Now we have a useful, amiable, successful business man, the head of an Ameri- can home; a human being filled with joy and happy all the while. Again work has been the salvation of one _ of the idle and supremely unhappy rich. DANGERS OF RETIRING Once I knew of a rather unusual woman—a business woman—who was very happy; one of those cheerful 20 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY souls who was always th? life of the party and seemea to travel on the sunny sia: of the road. In the midst of her pleasant and successful business career, a very wealthy aunt died and left her a huge fortune. As might be expected, she quit work immediately to take care of her financial affairs, and after everything was in shape and the aunt’s estate settled up, she traveled for a year or two. This was not so bad, but soon she tired of traveling, established a palatial home, surrounded herself with a retinue of servants, and began to lead the customary life of the idle rich. And now what is the result? She is sickly, ailing, miserable, unhappy—yes, worse than ~ that, she is grouchy. She has turned into a really disagreeable sort of individual. She has few friends, — and even the few she has I suspect are merely hanging around with the idea of getting something for them- selves. I often think of this case and think what a curse — riches are—no, it is not fair to say that the curse is in the riches hemmeetves: the curse is in the idleness, ‘the indolence, the inactivity, the lack”of those things, the ’ doing of which brings joy and satisfaction. I know any number of rich people who are happy. Wealth - itself doesn’t produce unhappiness. It is the wrong - habits of thinking and living that follow in its wake. And, at the risk of repetition, I reiterate that work is a blessing, not.acurse. Work is a necessity to.mod- ern civilized society. Not one person in a hundred can. hope to be really and truly happy unless they have some useful work, some satisfactory toil, that engages their attention sufficiently to satisfy ambition on the one hand and the pride of creation on the other. QssENTIALS OF HAPPINESS it And yet, we see this primitive dislike for work creep- ing out today in our social agitators who go up and down in the land, preaching against work, agitating against labor, and proclaiming that the toilers are the slaves of capital, etc. The tendency seems to be to have our happiness founded not on the achievement of labor and the joy of creating things; but rather to look for satisfaction in less work and more pay. While the laborer is worthy of his hire; and we should not muzzle the ox that treads out the corn, and while I am heartily in favor of a just distribution of wealth, while I believe that the working man is entitled to all he gets, at the same time it is a great mistake and subversive of joy and happiness, to lead the laboring man to regard money as the chief reward for his daily labor. As society is at present organized, money is essential to happiness because of the things which it can procure and since it is the medium of exchange, it necessarily becomes a part of the reward of labor; but the sons of toil should be taught that there is a still higher satis- faction in the knowledge of their work well done. There is happiness to be found in the achievement of our efforts that is in every way superior to the mere monetary wage. We cannot help regretting that many of our present- day social agitators are indirectly prejudicing the peo- ple against work, and we must also look with dis- approval upon the tendency of well-to-do parents to raise their children in comparative idleness; whereas it would have been a genuine blessing if their sons and daughters had been taught how to labor, had been ) initiated into the joys of productive toil. IN: How You CAN KEEP HAP -y - In this connection, I want to tell a story about a retired manufacturer, a man who toile ard from his youth—another one of these so-called self-made busi- ness men, which merely means that he inherited such tendencies and urges, that for sheer joy, he went through all these efforts and struggles, and thereby built up his business and accumulated a fortune. He ~ was successful because of the inherent traits handed © down by his ancestors. He had been a hard worker ~ and his wife was very fond of travel and she had exacted a promise from him that when he was fifty years of age, if he had a certain sum of money laid by, he would retire, that they might travel and enjoy life. Well, it developed that when he reached the age of — fifty he was possessed of sufficient wealth to enable — him to keep the promise, made years before, to retire, and so he relinquished the business and started out to © enjoy life; and it seems that with his wife he had a7 ) Y " very enjoyable time for the first year. They encircled © the globe and then he came back to enjoy his hard : earned ducats and to take a good long rest. But things did not go well. He soon began to ail. © He got to thinking about himself. He imagined he had first this and then that. He began paying regular visits to the doctor’s office and when his medical adviser didn’t give him satisfaction as to the real nature of his subtle diseases, he began going to sanitariums and all # % ‘a % > a M4 s that sort of thing, so that by the time he fell into my © hands he was a confirmed hypochodriac. ~ And what } didI do? Kept right at it for four months until I got — that man back at work. In four montis more, after © I had him back on the job, he was a we!! man—a happy man, and I don’t believe any amount of © onoy, or any- ‘ ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 23 thing else on earth, could ever get that man to retire. To everyone he now says that he expects to die in his boots. What a mistake for anyone who has worked con- tinuously throughout a lifetime, to seck happiness by retiring to enjoy idleness. True, increase in years means the necessity for modifying work. I heartily approve of cutting down work, sloughing off the non- essentials. I believe it is a great mistake for men above fifty to continue to work as they did when they were thirty or forty, but that is another thing as com- pared with retiring. Lessen your work, but stay on the job. Take vacations if you want to—two or three times a year, and two or three weeks at a time, but don’t quit. Develop outside interests, play golf, go fishing, work in the garden, get a hobby—but don’t quit; stay on the job. Hl Work is indispensable to happiness, and those who have worked with joy and satisfaction at some task until they are fifty or even sixty or more, will not find happiness in retirement. When it comes to the majority of the nervous break- downs, neurasthenics, etc., I depend on the work cure, not the rest cure. True, when patients are under- weight, it is sometimes best to fatten them and rest them up to start with—put them to bed, say, for four, \ six, or even eight weeks—then I get them right out and put them to work. I repeat—nervous people need the work cure and not the rest cure. WORK CURE VS. REST CURE Of course, we should select work that is adapted to the patient. We should not expect feeble souls to 24 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY try to do a giant’s job. Try to find work that.is enjoy- able. Patients do best when engaged in some task that they can take satisfaction in, though, at first, some- times it is necessary to stick to the job and learn to like it. It is highly desirable to get into some work that has a future to it, something that will let you grow, and always we want to be where we belong or as near that place as possible, or in line for that place. We want to look forward to a future that is acceptable to our tastes, ambitions, and abilities. In other words we want congenial-employment. ibs I remember a few years ago of advising a man to change his work. He seemed to be so utterly miser-_ able, so very unhappy—not only with some of his busi- — ness associates, but his chief, the general manager of the concern, was of an overbearing, grouchy type, and . he kept this poor fellow on needles all the time. He never knew what moment he was going to be bawled out for something he hadn’t done, or inordinately criti-— cized because of some trifling matter. And so, we _advised him tn change. He went into a new position — at less salary, but his associates were pleasant, and he — rapidly rose from the ranks in this concern to become — vice-president and general manager. Let me tell you about a man who was sick and heart j broken. He had been licked in the game of life. He — had developed an A No. 1, first class “inferiority com- plex.” He had submerged his abilities and buried his — talents and had, in the firm he worked for, become — merely a “rubber stamp.’ All this worried him and Va he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, when, ~ as a part of the study of his case, this situation was — EssENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 25 disclosed. He was advised to resign, to go out and start life all over. At first he was afraid to do it, but finally he made up his mind and did so. It took him a year to find a new connection, and exhausted most of his savings ac- count, but he found a new place. He got into a place where individuality was not suppressed, where he had a chance to bring forth his talents, and to use them. He found a place where ability was appreciated and where he was given a chance to forge ahead. And what happened? Of course, he got well. He cheered up and today he is happy, joyful, and doesn’t look like the same man. Such a change has come about because his employment is now congenial. ve Your work should, if possible, be along the lines of . your own choosing, and consistent with your tempera-) | ment and your capacity. ‘The better you like it, the / harder you can labor without harmful eftect on your health and your nerves. To my mind, there is no more dismal sound in the world than the “creak, creak, creak,” of a square peg ina round hole. But speaking about square pegs in round holes, I would rather hear their abominable “‘squeak” than no sound at all. I can _ imagine nothing more destructive to happiness and con- tentment than idleness. It is vicious in its undermining qualities. I know that people are always happier when they have something to work for—some goal to attain. I have watched the finger of ambition touch the slumber- ing intellect of idle people, stirring them into action. I have seen them turn from drones into workers, and I find it impossible to overestimate the happiness that the change has brought. 26 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY Invention, though it may for the time being take out some of the individual elements and satisfaction in craftsmanship—nevertheless, labor-saving machin- ery and improved tools have done much to liberate man from the long hours and other forms of drudgery connected with his daily work. The one thing charac- teristic of the Nineteenth Century was the development of labor-saving machinery and the improvement of the working tools of man. We cannot help but recognize that in the end, these mechanical developments have helped to liberate man from his longer hours of toil, and thus enable him to have more time for mental cul- ture, social improvement, and spiritual advancement. Genius has added enormously to the enjoyment of life. ADAPTATION TO WORK In this connection, I recall the case of a business woman who gradually sickened, lost interest in her work, and became very unhappy. Her efficiency was so cut down that she lost her position. She went through subsequently not only a nervous and physical reconstruction, but also one of mental rejuvenation. She regained her courage, got a new position, a differ- ent kind of work, different associates, got well, kept - well, and was for many years, happy; finally married and is today presiding over a happy home, and all this — came about by getting out of an unpleasant and unfor- tunate business environment and getting a position where the environment was favorable, helpful, and inspiring. When we come to study work, we should also pay some attention to our fellow workers. We — st ‘earn to like our working companions. You know ‘« Wy 3 : ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 27, Man said that if a man would have “friends he must show himself friendly.”’ I know of a woman in the business world who was very suspicious, and everybody she worked with dis- liked her. Of course, she thought everybody was haughty and disdainful to her. She thought all the rest of the folks were not what they ought to be. Her attitude was that “all the regiment are out of step but Jim.”’ At least this was her experience for a num- ber of years. Finally the worries and anxieties of her life so multiplied that she suffered a partial nervous breakdown. All this came out in her emotional analy- sis; she came to see herself in a new light and decided to get back on her feet and go to work and try things all over. She has been working a year and a half now in her new position. I understand not only from her, but from other sources too, that she is well liked—she has many friends. She believes in her fellow workers. She trusts them. She likesthem. In brief, this woman has become a normal, happy worker; and we must not for- get in this connection that sometimes when we are out of touch with our fellows and out of joint with our work, the trouble might possibly be in us. It is well to take stock and look oneself over, and see just where the trouble lies. Sometimes it is a good plan to use common sense and judgment in choosing work. I want to tell you about an unhappy stenographer who had struggled along to go through business college and who got a position she didn’t like, where she was working hard for $22.50 a week, and spending all her money for board and room, carfare, and lunches. She just didn’t 28 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY have enough left to buy the clothes she was supposed to wear in the place she was working. Finally she got the “‘flu’’ and the result of it all was discouragement, almost despair. _She said she didn’t like stenographic work. She wanted a home; she liked children. She was a young girl and it seemed it would be some time before she would have a home of her own and children of her own, and so we advised her to take a nurse-maid’s course and go into that work. ‘The idea appealed to her. She entered into the plan with enthusiasm. What was the result? She is now getting $30 a week, with board, room, and laundry. She has no carfare or lunches. She is saving more money every week, ac- tually putting it in the bank, than she used to earn, working as a stenographer, and she is happy; she is just tickled to death over her work. What a pity to break down the health of a stenog- rapher at $22.50 a week—paying her own expenses— when you can make her happy at $30 and no expenses to pay. This is a question of judgment, of using one’s reasoning powers in this matter of selecting work. Many people could improve their position if they would do a little real thinking about these matters. Now, while I am talking about common sense and judgment in selecting work, and while I believe in using modern psychology in this business of vocational guid- ~ ance, at the same time, I don’t believe in trying to feel the bumps on a person’s head and then undertaking to tell them what work they ought to take up, or whom they ought to marry. ‘There is common sense to be used in this advice about using judgment and discretion in choosing our work. ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 29 In this connection, of course, we should always bear in mind the danger of being over-ambitious—of under- taking the impossible. ‘There is no sense in spoiling a good farmer to make a second rate lawyer or a third rate doctor. Parents, educators, and all concerned should try to help young people in these things when it comes to choosing their life work. THE IDLE RICH I want to tell you the encouraging story of an idle rich woman who became so bored with life itself that she longed for death. I want to explain to you how, after a conference one day, she said she had honestly looked the field over to try to find something she might with propriety work at, and then I suggested that she go in for club work. This idea appealed to her at once. She, with her leisure time, became, in the years follow- ing, a great club woman, a useful club woman. And some of her idle money has also done a great deal of good. She has been made supremely happy by these activities; her health has improved; she sleeps well. In brief, she found a job in club life and it has redeemed her from the sick, whining, complaining, Heated life of former days. Sometimes rich people can make a useful job for themselves. I remember well the case of a nervous, dyspeptic sort of individual, a man who was very wealthy. He lost his wife, he had no children, and he thought about giving most of his money to certain charitable organizations and spending the rest of his life abroad. I advised him to found a new institution. The idea appealed to him. He went to work with architects from the ground up. He built a philan- 30 How You CAN KEEP HAPpPpy thropic enterprisc, and he stands at the head of it to- day as its administrator and general manager. He is one of the happiest, not to say most useful men, in this generation. You see, he has all the elements for happiness in his work—kindness and sympathy; he not only takes satis- faction in having created this institution over which he presides, but every good and human trait is finding ex- pression in his work. ‘The more of the real, human touch we can get into our work, the more we are going to enjoy it, the happier it is going to make us. ‘We must remember that there is a real culture to be | found in work; there is education in toil. No college . can give a course that is superior to that discipline and ) training to be had in the University of Hard Knocks; and we must also recognize that we may beautify our! '. tasks by the spirit in which we perform them. 3. SELF-CONTROL—-COMMON SENSE DISCIPLINE Self-control—common sense—is essential to happi- ness. If you are going to insist on being wholly original and looking at most things in life entirely dif- ferently than the majority of your fellows—well, then, you are doomed to suffer numerous disappointments. You are going to experience many sorrows if you per- sist in the notion that you can always have your own — way. One of the very first essentials of living a happy life is to learn how to be @ ‘“‘good loser.” I do not mean that you-should’ be a sheep, and blindly follow the lead of others; but conventions were made for the happiness and safety of the majority, and kicking against proven and accepted things isn’t going to make for contentment. ! EssENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 31 While improvement of environment does add some- thing to the sum total of human happiness, it is not after all the chief source of joy. Advanced social legis- lation, improved working conditions, etc., all help our fellows in that they give them a better opportunity for enjoying life. Some of them are wise enough to im- prove it; others ofttimes use these opportunities merely as an occasion for plunging into those practices and experiences which unfailingly lead to sorrow and grief. We should also remember there are grades of hap- piness. It takes a great deal more to make a cultured soul happy than an individual of limited vision and meager education. Those of higher culture must enjoy opportunities to extend that culture, and happiness to ‘them, therefore, comes to embrace not merely the phys- ical pleasure of living, but also opportunities for read- ing and meditation. We must be careful not to confuse our wants with _- our real needs. Supplying our real needs tends to make us happy, but the quest for the gratification of our wants sometimes leads us into endless turmoil and difficulties. We must not expect-the-impossible-—Lt_we Pe e e e don’t -expect-so.much our disappointments will be fewer and less keen. _. arn la eT ASO . “We can really change the “‘tastes of the soul.” We can determine whether or not we will give audience and attention to the whines and complaints of sorrow and depression. We really can control the association of ideas so as either to starve or feed the ancestors of i, sorrow. We must never fail to recognize that necessity is mother to those efforts and exertions that foster joy and yield happiness. Let us master the art of meeting ‘. (\ 32 How You CAN KEEP KMAPPY culties. Jvet us acquire the art of living with ourselves as we are and the world as it 1s. No system or theory of ethics can bring satisfaction or hope to survive if it leaves out happiness. Neither can we accept it if it is devoid of moral ideals. We must come in the end to judge happiness not only by means of the pleasure it affords, but also by its real purpose and permanence. Because fools are levitous constitutes no reason why wisdom should be shrouded with such gravity and over- much sobriety. We must get over the notion that only shallow personalities can be joyous and happy. Hap- piness is in every way compatible with wisdom and learning. ~~ TT lee ith ne on Sa Oa ey reverses, overcoming obstacles, and surmounting diff- |. EMOTIONAL SPREES We'must learn to-direct the power and force of sor- - rowful emotions and passions into the service channels of joy and happiness. We must learn in our efforts at emotional control, how to make even sorrow pay trib- _»-“uté te happiness. Those men and women who possess. the highest control of their emotions are in position to experience the highest joys of living. Are you allow- ing some foolish, silly pet peeve to ruin your happi- ness? Is someone always getting on your nerves? Do certain types of people “get your goat?’ Do your best friends sometimes annoy you? You are not going to enjoy true happiness while you are a victim of “nervous jags.”” Many a reader who © would look with horror upon going on an alcoholic ‘ spree, does not hesitate to indulge in frequent “emo- tional sprees”—nervous “blow-ups.”’ Most people en- ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 33 joy “thrills,’ and when we can’t get them otherwise, we permit ourselves an ‘“‘emotional sprawl” now and then. The erratic, neurotic, unstable individual is disposed to indulge in “sprees.” Some get drunk, others get hilarious. Some go out in quest of new worlds to con- quer, while others indulge in a vicious debauch. Some risk their substance on the wheel of fortune, while other sorts of odd geniuses indulge in an “‘emotional sprawl’’—a nervous blow-up. Some nervous people have periodic temperamental explosions—hysterical seizures. Many folks with high ideals and spiritual sentiments would be shocked at the idea of a cabaret and champagne spree, but such individuals will go on one glorious ‘“‘wild and woolly” nervous spree without the least compunction of conscience; and tremendously enjoy the ministration of doctors and nurses, on the one hand, and the solicitous sympathy of friends and family, on the other. Now, at bottom, in their real physiologic root and psychologic origin, these different sorts of sprees are practically all one and the same thing. ‘They are an outcropping of habitual repression, of constantly recur-_ ring emotions which so accumulate as to result in these periodic blow-ups. They all show the same deficient self-control. Now these emotional or nervous people—and ner- vous people are always emotional—are wont to lay the blame for these upheavals on some past experience or on what someone has said or done to them. ‘They always have a plausible alibi. But they must learn to face the responsibility for these emotional sprees and cease to excuse themselves for these breakdowns in 34 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY nervous morale. Even if someone else app2' utly con- tributes to these periodic upheavals, the ncezvous indi- vidual must recognize that he is, after all, morally responsible for the breakdown which he must under- stand was largely determined by the way in which he reacted to the sayings and doings of other people. The trouble with most nervous people is that they are bestowing too much thought and sympathy upon themselves. They are wasting on themselves those very things which the world is dying for the need of— ‘ love, pity, and sympathy. That is what we mean when we tell these nervous folk that they are self-centered, self-absorbed, and introspective. They are in some re- spects like a dynamo that is short circuited; using up an enormous amount of energy but using it all up within itself. Such a dynamo is sick, and such nervous people are likewise sick—nervously, emotionally sick. A few weeks ago I met a woman who was “‘all fussed up” over a theatre party she was to attend—all wor- ried and over-anxious about this engagement. In fact, she made herself sick for a whole week worrying and fretting about this party; and then when it was called off because of sudden illness, she promptly “blew up” —threw a fit—went to bed and sent for the doctor. In plain English, she went on a “neurologic toot’’—yjust like many a weak-willed man goes off on a spree when he encounters disappointments or meets with some sort of trouble. SOME ‘‘PET PEEVES”’ During the time of this writing I made note of a few things that peeved some of my patients. One man was upset because a new business partner was always ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 35 saying “listen” as an introduction to anything he said. A woman allows her roommate to “get her goat’’ be- cause she leaves her things strewn all over their apart- ment. A business man literally “blows up” if anyone in the office is a moment late at work in the morning, and he sees to it that he is there early enough to in- dulge in his favorite nervous jag. You might be interested in knowing how we helped this business man who got so worked up over his part- ner always saying “‘isten.’’ I was convinced his partner would probably continue this habit, so I set about to discover the best way of teaching my patient tolerance —helping him to reconcile and adjust himself to this little mannerism. You know we claim for ourselves the right to‘live our own life in our own way, and we ought to be willing that our friends and associates should enjoy the same privilege. Well, the very first conference I ever had with this patient I discovered he had a habit, every time he fn- ished a paragraph of speech, of adding—"Do you understand?” It was very annoying to have him tell you something and then invariably ask—Do you understand ?”’ So when he complained so bitterly about his partner, I went right after him—told him about his own mannerism and explained how he should de- vote all his energies to breaking himself of the habit, that I thought his habit was worse than his partner’s, and that he ought to try to cure himself of his own ailment first, and then try to “laugh the whole thing off.” _ The recognition of an equally or more objectionable habit in himself developed tolerance and sympathy for his partner. He had a friendly chat with his associate - | 36 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY —learned how his own “Do you understand ?”’ irritated him, and now he tells me they are “‘having the time of their lives,’ both trying to overcome these habits and enjoying the joke of it all immensely. And by watch- ing each other, in less than six weeks they have just about mastered their troubles. Here comes a woman who is on the verge of nervous prostration over her maids. It seems she is unable to get help who will do things just the way she wants them done. She is hard to please, but she prefers to lay it on the maids. What a blessing it would be if she only had to do all her own work for about six weeks! One man’s pet peeve was to “blow up” when his- wife let him get off the trail when they were motoring. This worried her so that she all but refused to go ona trip East with him, and came to my office to tell me her troubles. Now, I could not get hold of her hus- band to labor with him about being more thoughtful and kind to his wife, so I had to concoct a plan which the wife could carry out. I prescribed driving for her —not long stretches, but to do half the driving each day. This, you see, compelled her husband ‘to manage the road maps—well, of course, you know what began to happen—he let his wife get off the trail every now and then, and I had rehearsed her so that she could ‘blow up”’ in exquisite style—simply get furious at him for failing to keep her on the right road, only I had taught her to finish each explosion of temper with a hearty laugh—and go on just as if nothing had hap- pened. Would you believe it! This fellow really had sense — enough to “catch on” to the whole thing; he began to “laugh it off” when his wife lost the way, and before ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS Shs the passing of a single summer this thing which threat- ened their happiness was all but gone, and now when he starts to “blow up” she laughs—and they both laugh—they are having real fun out of it. Really, I wish all wives would take their husbands less seriously in little matters like this; they should learn that a hus- band’s bite is never as serious as the bark. Sometimes I think it is a real kindness to allow a husband to in- dulge in just a little growl now and then. Then there was the man who could manage a big business but got the “jim-jams’’ just because his wife couldn’t manage the household affairs to his liking. Next was a good-hearted mother who said the childish pranks and commonplace noises of the children were simply driving her crazy. She was wholly self-centered and seemed to take no pleasure in seeing the little ones enjoy themselves. Now, when it came to helping this mother, I found I had a real job on my hands. I talked and reasoned with her, but it did little good. So when I saw we were falling down on the job—saw this mother was gradually losing ground—we took her away from the children for six weeks, put her on a rest cure, diet, etc., and then before we sent her back home we tried to readjust her viewpoint of raising children, persuaded her to lock upon her little ones as playmates, taught her the value of growing up with her children—living life over again and keeping young with the little folks —in fact, reconstructed her whole theory and practice of child-culture. And now I wish you could visit that home; why, all the children in the neighborhood want to congregate there, they have such great times with this playing 4 38 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY | mother; she has become the ringleader in all the fun © and can make just as much noise as any of the young- _ sters. I'll never forget what the little six year old told me the last time I called at this home. He rushed — into my arms and as he hugged me, he said: “Oh, | Doctor, we are so glad you cured mamma; now we can make all the noise we want to, and we just have the — most fun all day long.” And the mother looked up and smiled. Yes, she is cured—first of her tired nerves, and sec- ond of the notion that the happy and gleeful noises of _ live, healthy children get on her nerves. She has — changed her mind, her viewpoint, her reactions; and now is getting joy and happiness out of the very things _ that formerly ‘“‘got on her nerves.”’ Another woman enjoyed an emotional spree for no other reason than that her husband and daughter in- | sisted on sitting in rocking chairs—and they rocked | incessantly when they read. A cynical young woman _ was bored by the fact that some of her associates were so hopelessly ‘‘mid-Victorian.”” A well-behaved woman wanted to scream every time she saw anyone cleaning _ their finger-nails in public. | I must confess failure in helping the cynical young | woman. I think it will require some real sorrow and a little more experience in life to cure her; but I was — able to help the woman who had such trouble with the rocking chairs. I told her I could undertake to break ing chair habit was harmless; that it was not like drink- | ing, smoking, and such practices; that her husband © probably derived great satisfaction from it and that _ 7 ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 39 she should make up her mind to enjoy seeing him enjoy himself. Then I explained that family life, community life, even national life, had to consist of give and take; that we cannot always have our own way—majorities rule in a republic, and since both the other members of the family: preferred to rock their chairs, I prescribed a rocking chair for her, told her it would assist in devel- oping the muscles in her feet and ankles (she suffered some from flat-foot tendency) and at last I persuaded her to join the rocking chair brigade, to make it unani- mous for the family. While she complained bitterly for several weeks—now, she can rock or not just as she pleases—and what's more she said to me not long ago that she could have ‘“‘a great time watching a whole regiment rock if necessary.” You are enjoying real liberty when other people don’t get on your nerves. Perhaps I should confess that I got this woman to master her dislike for rocking chairs by telling her of my dislike for olive oil in salad dressing, and how sev- eral years ago I just made up my mind to overcome this dislike—that since most folks like olive oil, I would force myself to eat it on every occasion, at least until such a time that I could do so without making a bad face about it. I decided to accustom myself to tolerate what the vast majority of my friends enjoyed. There is no harm in olive oil—in fact it is a good food—and so I declared war on my foolish minority prejudices and I won. I don’t think I’ll ever like the stuff as I do | strawberries and cream, but I can eat it; I’ve mastered _ my dislike to the extent that I can eat salad any place, any time, with anybody, and with any old dressing they may happen to put on it—and I’m happier because I’ve es { ee 40 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY overcome that notion that olive oil always spoils salad dressing. - Now, about the woman who gets all wrought up when she sees anyone cleaning their finger-nails in pub- lic. While this woman has helped her general nervous situation, she hasn’t overcome this habit. I don’t know that I have the heart to try to force her to make a stronger effort. It really seems that most folks ought to have time in their own homes to clean their finger- nails along with the rest of the morning toilet. You know, I don’t want to give the impression in ‘this book that everybody should do just as they wish and- that the rest of us must somehow get used to it. ~ | think some of these things we are talking about are enough to get on most anyone’s nerves, even those of us who are most normal and well-controlled. I frankly grant that it is incumbent upon some of these other nervous people to reform their objectionable habits. I don’t want to give the impression that I approve of making one’s toilet in public, and that everyone else has to get adjusted to it. I believe in good manners, but when all is said and done, I want to impress upon nervous people that no matter where the blame rests, if we allow other folks to get on our nerves we are allowing them to tyrannize over us. No matter how reprehensible their practices, we just cannot afford to let them make monkeys of us; we must not become so enslaved to our reaction to these things that they make life miserable for us. We can’t control the habits of the rest of the world, and therefore we must (in self- protection) learn to react with less vehemence. We must exercise self-control just to save our own nerves from being constantly on edge and to prevent this from ESSENTIALS OF/ HAPPINESS 4] growing on us to me aan where it will literally give us the “‘jim-jams.”’ What I am trying to do fee this woman is to teach her that she will have to continue to live in this world as it is, that she cannot possibly regulate and control the habits and practices of all her friends and neigh- bors, and therefore, while she may continue to make mental note of the fact that she disapproves of people cleaning their finger-nails in public, she is to become such a master of her own nervous reaction, that she can develop such a high degree of self-control over her own feelings and impulses, that she doesn’t have to have a nervous chill or emotional blow-up just because these uncouth persons continue to offend her sensibili- ties. In time, I think we will succeed, provided we can get her health and nervous system built up and straight- ened out, so she will have a better constitutional foun- dation for exercising self-control. You know it is very hard for a nervous person to win a fight along some particular line like this when they are ‘‘shot to pieces” constitutionally. They must pull themselves together before they can win battles of this sort. FASTIDIOUS NERVES The reader should not get the idea that we always succeed in helping these nervous people. Sometimes they sit right down and refuse to help themselves. In taking a large group of this class of patients, I find that we help about half of them over their troubles and \. the other half refuse to play the game or they quickly _“ get discouraged and try some other system or method, some “ism,” “pathy,” or “cult.’” But I do want to say , 42 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY this: every time, without exception, when it comes to the management of these functional nervous disorders —unfailingly, if the patient plays the game and carries out directions—these people get well, they master their difficulties. Of course, these folks don’t get rid of their wabbly — nervous systems and they have to go on in the school of self-control until they learn how to manage them- selves more efficiently all along the line, but this should be understood by all those who are victims of these nervous habits and tendencies—they can get well if they will. A middle-aged woman was unhappy because her sis- ter—also living at home—‘‘got on her nerves’’—the sister chewed gum. Now, this is one case where I didn’t go through with the battle—I started in good faith, but when the sister (who was a very conscien- tious sort of person) heard that her gum chewing had really driven her older sister to consult a doctor, well, as she subsequently explained to me, she decided to give up gum. She told me the Bible said if anything of that sort ‘‘offended your brother” you should give it up—so she quit. She got the good out of the situation instead of the other sister. One young woman was getting the “jim-jams” be- cause grandfather constantly tapped his cane on the floor while sitting in the living room. A wife was ruin-— ing her nerves over a nervous habit on the part of her husband of incessantly “clearing his throat”—and it~ just made her “furious” because he had to indulge in a sharp, barking cough every time he went to answer the telephone. Here is a case where we are working | on both sides of the trouble. Having explained to the q ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 43 husband the injurious effects of this dry, nervous cough, he is slowly overcoming the habit; while we have ex- plained to the wife that she no doubt has several little habits that may annoy her husband as much as the cough worries her. She has decided to rise above the annoyance—to overlook it as a trifling personal man- nerism—no matter whether he overcomes it or not. All over the establishment where this man works and at home, I’ve had little signs placed on the telephone which read, ‘“‘Don’t cough into this phone—it’s insani- tar fi Lin (1 have a fastidious patient who specializes in all sorts of “eating noises.” If anyone makes the slight- est noise consuming their soup or any other food, she loses her appetite and wants to leave the table. Another high-strung woman is all but sick most of the time, worrying over what other people are think- ing or saying about her. Here is another man who can’t stand to see a person pick his teeth. He once refused to sell a piece of real estate just because his prospect had a toothpick in his mouth. I wish I could tell you how I cured the woman who gets so disturbed over “eating noises,’ but the truth is I still have her on my hands. This is only one of a score of things that “get on her nerves.’ She is one of those proverbial “bundles of nerves.” I am trying to teach her the art of living with herself as she is and the world as it is. I am trying to help her to judge and estimate people in accordance with their heredity and opportunities for culture and education. | started out with the animal world, showing her how she was not annoyed by numerous unconventional and unculti+ if “ A vated habits and practices of our lesser brethren—and He 44 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY x then I’m trying to help her to see that various races 4 and nations as well as numerous persons have their a own way of doing things—that our way is not neces- ‘” sarily always right or even best, and that we are going a to be everlastingly unhappy if we are doomed to suffer because of all these things which other people do and which we are powerless to prevent their doing. I be- lieve we are going to succeed, but we will have to make — this woman all over. She will do it step by step just as you climb a ladder. It will be a long pull and a a hard job, but I think she will go through with the q undertaking. | a A man of rare patience can stand anything but to be pushed or shoved in a crowd—he “blows up’”’ when this happens. Some people have “‘fits’” when others . mispronounce words. I know of a woman who refused a to marry a splendid fellow just because he would pro- a nounce Italian with a long “I.” a One woman’s pet peeve is to see a dirty child—one ‘w. neglected by its parents. Another is made nervous by ie a neighbor who comes over and talks fast and stays too long. She has nervous chills after the visitor goes. What do you think of getting the ‘‘fidgets” just be- cause you find yourself in a room or other place where a there is no clock! This woman ought to wear a wrist watch. A business woman “blows up’ when a man “flips the ashes” from his cigar on the office floor. Still another woman gets so nervous she leaves the theatre when anyone next to her eats candy or popcorn. a I know a woman who, wherever she goes, never gets through talking about a business associate who always leaves her chair in the passageway and hangs her coat on the wrong hook. A patient woman will mento ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 45 stand most anything but ‘“‘goes wild” if anybody puts their feet on the back of a theatre seat. A woman had “brain storms” if a servant or any member of the family touched a thing in her dresser drawer or happened to leave a drawer open. She acted like a lunatic if she didn’t find things just where she put them. Another pet peeve was getting nervous watch- ing someone cross their legs and toss the foot up and down. “ This woman who had “‘brain storms”? when anybody touched her private belongings is an interesting case. I tried to help her for several months, but didn’t get very far with her. She did not seem to grasp what I tried to tell her; for some reason I couldn’t get hold of her. In the meantime she passed through a very severe physical illness, and it was during this sickness that a neighbor—a very religious woman—called on her one day and there sprang up an association which survived this illness and eventually resulted in this pa- tient embracing the religious beliefs of her neighbor —she joined the church, etc. ; and somehow, some way, in this new experience she underwent such a psycholog- ‘cal transformation that all her pet-peeves (for she had several) suddenly disappeared. A real change seemed to have taken place in her life. Equally wonderful cures of nervous people have | been brought about by simply falling in love; and while - some reader may smile at this statement, nevertheless, itistrue. You see, self-centered nervous folks (uncon- sciously selfish) are wonderfully helped by any and everything that helps them get their minds off them- selves, and a love affair is one of the best experiences in the world to scatter the thoughts and make us think 46 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY about something outside of our own feelings and com- forts. I know a woman who “just can’t stand” to hear people talk about the ‘‘good old days,” how much bet- ter things used to be than they are now; and | have a patient whose pet peeve seems to be the budget system. Among other pet peeves I have encountered recently are the following: To be kept waiting for an appoint- ment; to have to sit in a movie or at the theatre near a person who is talking loud enough to disturb the per- formance; to have persons sit in the back seat of the automobile and try to drive the car; to listen to persons describe the symptoms of supposed disease, or dilate on the details of their recent surgical operations or other misfortunes. A woman recently confessed to me that it almost “drove her wild’ when anyone would drum with their fingers on the table or the arm of a chair. Another woman had tantrums whenever a salesgirl would call her ‘‘Dearie;’’ while an otherwise well-controlled man of middle age “boiled within” when anyone would pre- sume to read the newspaper over his shoulder. And so the story goes on. At any length we could recite these commonplace little habits, mannerisms, and thoughtless acts which, while they do not amount to much, are seized upon by our fellow men and elevated to the dignity of “‘pet peeves.” MARRIED LIFE PROBLEMS A married woman has a husband who tries to be funny—he’s hardly a natural born humorist—and his attempts to be smart terribly upset his wife. ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 47 Now here is a real problem and one that is very common in the case of married folks. You know when I stop to think how serious a business getting married is—in fact, marriage is just about the most serious and important business on earth—I say, when I stop to think how the majority of people go into it without any preparation or special training, 1 am not surprised that divorce is increasing. It is a wonder to me that many of these married couples get along as well as they do. They could not expect to succeed in any serious busi- ness undertaking in life which they might enter with so little preparation and thought, but old Mother Na- ture helps a lot of them out and somehow they learn to get along as time goes by. You see, marriage, aside from the problem of rais- ing the children, is largely an experience, a discipline, that consists in give and take. Of course, I don’t be- lieve any marriage is going to be happy if there is too great a variance in temperament and tendencies; but on the whole it does us all good if our life-mates are a bit different in that it helps us to refashion our own characters; at any rate, it breeds tolerance—considera- tion for other people—and tolerance is wonderfully necessary in order to get along well in this life. So in the case of the married woman who is upset by her husband’s humor, I am trying to help her to see if there isn’t some real subtle humor in her husband's wit after all. I haven’t succeeded very well as yet, but I am developing her sense of humor, and I hope to get her to the place where she will heartily laugh at the sight of her husband trying to be funny when he isn’t funny, and she does laugh uproariously about it in my office. How You CAN KEEP HAPPY You know every doctor meets this constantly—this experience of married folks irritating each other. Of ‘course they don’t tell everybody, but they will tell the doctor. About six weeks after folks are married they begin to discover things in each other that are a bit undesirable, not to say irritating. Now, I believe in married folks being frank and honest and trying to help each other overcome their most palpable faults; but in the case of these little and peculiar personal traits, learn to enjoy them; have a good laugh over them; be big-hearted and tolerant; love each other in spite of them. I heard a song the other night over the radio that made me laugh heartily. You know we have folks with such a peculiar arrangement of the teeth that they can hardly talk without a shower of saliva, which is very * annoying to some people, and the chorus of this song was to the effect that a fellow had a sweetheart who “talks like a grapefruit, but I love her just the same.” Now in married life we take each other for better or worse, and we must not be so foolish as to let little things like this upset the happiness of the home. More than once I have seen an otherwise happy home spoiled over just such trifles. But as I say, these folks are foolish if they allow these little, undesirable personal traits to influence them so seriously. And by the way, I notice that the people, at least the married folks, who are so easily upset and have so many pet peeves about other people are usually the very ones who are carrying — around grudges against their husbands or wives be- cause of some little foolish habit that gets on their nerves. I think we had better begin at home with this whole business and get straightened out. EssENTIALS OF HAPPINESS ao If there is something about the home folks that is keeping your nerves on edge, go to the mat with them. Help them overcome it, and if it is something they can’t or won’t overcome, then you overcome your un- necessary and unwholesome reaction to their little faults. Show yourself big enough to rise above them and live above them. This is the way some of these things have to be handled. We just simply can’t make this world over to suit ourselves, and sometimes it is well to cultivate the loving attitude, yes, that blending of love and sympathy which was the mother’s attitude as she watched her boy, marching out of step with the regiment. You remember she said that “All the regi- ment are out of step but Jim.” I know a woman who is so disgusted with her hus- band—all because he has a nervous habit of picking or rubbing his nose—that it has spoiled their married life and about ruined her health. He doesn’t take his fault seriously and his wife simply can’t or won’t curb her emotional reactions of disgust and resentment. The best methods for gaining control of your emo- tions—the technic for mastering your “pet peeves” and acquiring real self-control—are fully discussed in Part [V—The Secrets of Emotional Control. i 3 iM — LATOAAD if oa i ASSOCIATIONS @ Human CompANionsHIp—PLEASANT Man is naturally a gregarious™ animal—he likes to live in tribes. Human beings are inherently social beings. No normal individual likes to live by himself. Associated with this tribal instinct is the emotion of 1) *See the Appendix for further discussion of this and other human” instincts and emotions. ¢f 4 7 50 How You CAN KEEP SPRY security. We feel safer when we ey with our fel-_ lows. More or less social life is essential to happiness. The higher sentiment of friendship presupposes that human beings are going to enjoy the satisfaction of working together and playing together. Too many of us are unhappy because we are, like Robinson Crusoe, marooned—socially speaking—on a lonely island. If out of more than one hundred million of fellow citizens, each of us has half a dozen real friends, who love us and care for us and who are un- \. selfishly interested in us—well, if we have such a num- ‘\“ requires a social life. ‘ber of real friends, we are indeed fortunate. \ We are beholden to another duty—the duty to make our friends and our fellows happy as far as lies within _ our power. Happiness of the individual which expands into the happiness of a people is a great influence to prevent wars. | There is too little individual joy and happiness. We live too much by mass emotion which is so easily swept _ ‘into the impulse of war. There is too little considera- tion, in the nation’s life, accorded to our higher per- sonal sentiments. Man is a social being and happiness | In olden times speech was not only a means of self- expression, but it was the chief mode of instruction. It ” was one time necessary to do by the spoken word, by | oratory, what is now done by newspapers, magazines, | and books; and no doubt there was much real happi- rieseleapcrated with the more liberal employment of & speech in former generations, because it meant more social life on the part of the people; there was more _ of a coming together to hear the news of the day and _ receive the instruction of the hour. i J 1 } : [ , | ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS » 51 Today we sit in our homes reading the daily papers, and listening to the radio. The art of conversation is at low ebb, and the social life of modern times is greatly curtailed; but we must not forget that man 1S still the talking animal, that there is real satisfaction associated with conversation..Speech-which-is_of the sincere and restrained variety, is a means of the highest ‘self-expression and can become the channel not only for sélf-satisfaction but also for transmitting instruction, encouragement, and inspiration to our fellows. While most of the special senses are designed with the idea of admitting impressions into the mind, speech is the one human gift which is designed to afford a means of self-expression, and normally employed, is certainly no small source of self-gratification, happt- ness, and joy. A solitary life predisposes to introspection, self-pity, and neurasthenia. There are any number of human beings who do not thrive health-wise if they are com- pelled to live or work alone. It is not generally known that neurasthenia and nervous breakdowns are more common in the country as compared with the city. This is not only due to the long hours which the farmer puts ‘in, but also to the loneliness of his life. Very few \. _ persons can get happiness out of a monotonous hfe \\ Variety is truly the spice of life. _ | : I remember well a few years ago a case of threat- ened nervous breakdown on the part of a farmer in a mid-western state, and how we averted this calamity by taking him off the farm for a year and putting him to work in a factory where he was mingling all day long with other men, and where he had the moral sup- port of fellow workers along by his side to keep him 52 How You CAN KEEP ~APPY at his job, and thus assist in keeping his mind off hims self. THE DREAD OF ISOLATION Most human beings, if compe’led to be alone for any great length of time, will at least surround themselves with domestic animals. The lonely shepherd is not the only isolated human being that enjoys the company of a dog. If a boy can’t have a playmate, if he is an only child in a family, he at least wants a dog; and wherever “possible he will be found casting his lot with some “gang.” Man is truly a tribe animal and he is never “happy and satisfied when he is compelled to be alone. _ The case of a lonely and peculiar bachelor comes to my mind. He lived more or less by himself, but was far from being happy, and all the while he would com- plain about his digestion and other vague miseries, aches, and pains. When about forty years of age he accidentally met a woman of about the same age, and however it came about, they got married. He began to cheer up and subsequently they adopted two little orphans and you could hardly find a happier man within the confines of the country. So many times we see cases like this that so clearly go to show that man is not happy unless he can enjoy the companionship of his fellows. Even work, indis- pensable as it is to happiness, is not always joy-pro- ducing when it is solitary. We like to work with our fellows. Group employment is more conducive to the enjoyment of life. é Sometimes even married life when it is childless does _ not yield the happiness and satisfaction that it other- _ wise would. You know someone has said there should } ee EssENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 53 be no home without a child and no child without a home. We get comfort and satisfaction out of associating together in clubs, lodges, churches, and other social eroups, as well as intthe home. Even much of the benefit of our play life is due to the fact that it affords human association. There is a chance for team work. You know they tell a story about two of our Amer- ican poets who used to visit each other in the evening, and how they would sit there by the hour, sometimes the whole evening, smoking, hardly saying a word, and how they would separate as the hour grew late, and one would often say to the other, ‘“‘Come again, Alfred, we have had a grand visit.” There is comfort and satisfaction in the presence of our fellow creatures even though we sit about in com- parative silence; although few words may be spoken, there is the pleasure of companionship, the satisfaction of association that cheers our hearts and satisfies this innate gregarious craving for the presence of the herd. Who would think of starting out on a motor trip all by one’s self? Not many. Of course, there are excep- tions to the rule. We have certain peculiar and odd geniuses who, because of some -twist in their psychol- ogy, prefer to be alone; but even if these queer souls could be jogged out of their solitary rut, they would find life newly illuminated and brightened if, through some chance, they should be forced to enjoy the com- pany of their fellows. You know, good mixers are usually happy, not mere- ly because these traits are likely to travel in company, but from the sheer fact that by being good mixers they are afforded more liberal entrance into human society. 5 A 54 How You CAN KEEP HAP? They enjoy more friendly association with ¢ \-ir fellows and it is this element of human comp: ship that adds so much to their happiness. - You know the average human being no: only wants ‘to be in the company of his fellows throu» iout life, /but most of us would shrink from the thoug.\« of even _ dying alone. _ There is the case of a lonely shoemaker who vecame very much depressed, and who puzzled me for a year or more. Finally I decided that it was loneliness in his work that was responsible for his mental and phys- ical condition, and I advised him to sell his little shop and go to work in a shoe repairing establishment where six or eight men were working all day long. Gradually he began to recover from his depression; his digestion improved; and at the end of the first year in his new position, he was a well and happy man. Another interesting case—that of a lonely woman, a widow, who lived in a large mansion and was waited upon by five servants, but who was socially alone. She was exceedingly lonesome. Finally we persuaded her to open her home to six high class working girls. She picked up the first couple and they found the other girls for her among their friends. She gave them a home and made life in many ways pleasant for them. Had parties for them and took them out motoring. And what was the result of all this upon herself? Why, this mothering these girls and mingling with their young friends made a new woman of her. Not only was her health improved, but her mental state was en- tirely changed. She found health and happiness in sharing her life with others and in mingling with these normal and cheerful young people. ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 55 I recall another case—that of a lonely maiden lady, quite wealthy, who become so miserable and unhappy that when the doctor explained the real cause of her trouble, she was not slow to recognize the fact. She decided to try an experiment. She rented her home furnished for a season, and moved into a girls’ club here in the city, and under an assumed name, she mingled with these working girls, grew interested in them, participated in their social gatherings; and what is more, she got well, and there was such a change in her attitude toward life that it should be recorded that within two years from this time she was happily married. Likewise I remember the case of a university gradu- ate, an unmarried woman, around thirty-five years of age, who had become highly introspective, was always complaining and ailing, doctoring incessantly, and withal had become so miserable and unhappy in her temperamental life that her own family disliked to visit her. She was persona non grata among her friends of former days. We frankly told this patient what we thought the trouble was, and advised her to begin at once to mingle more freely with her fellows. She took the advice seriously. She resumed connec- tions with her church of former years—in fact, became an active church worker—went into politics, and in a half ‘dozen other different ways she made social con- tact, and in less than a year’s time, she had cheered up and begun to take a new interest in life. Her health improved; it was no more necessary for her to visit the physician, and the last call she made on her doctor was to explain how happy she was and how glad she was that she was alive. — ee 56 How You CAN KEEP HAPpy It should be recalled that Christ even sent His dis-_ ciples out two and two. He did not send them out to undertake dificult and pioneer work alone. He rec- ognized the truth of a still older Divine admonition to the effect that it was ‘‘not good for man to be alone.” | Of course, there are times when we like to be alone, © by. ourselves, for meditation for short periods; but the © healthy, average, normal individual does not crave such - solitary occasions for any great length of time. I once knew of a very lonely married woman. She | was in a way happy in her home; her married life was — ideal, except that they had no children. She eventually - became nervous, was a chronic ailer, and all this per- sisted until the first baby came. All was changed in > three months. Life was enjoyable. The home was changed; she was no longer alone—baby was company —and the former lonely hours of the day that had dragged on until her husband would return home at night, were now made bright and cheery by the pres- ence of this little life which had been entrusted to her — care. She had companionship. Health returned, and with it, happiness, and good cheer. Let me tell you about two lonely, unmarried sisters who were growing more and more unhappy. They de- cided to overcome the little troubles they had had in former years and made their plans to live together. They cheered each other up, each brought happiness to the other, and out of this companionship they found the _ blessings of good cheer and renewed health. A few years ago I had a very unhappy man of leisure on my hands. He spent most of his time thinking about himself and fussing over himself. I tried in vain to get him to go to work, and he finally compromised ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS iy with me by taking a trip around the world. He prom- ised to report to me every two weeks, and he did. His letters kept coming, telling how he was bored with the trip, how he was sorry he ever agreed to take it. This kept up until one day in Egypt, on the way out to view the Pyramids, he fell in with a kindred spirit, a fellow traveler from his own country, and they decided to hit it off together for the rest of the trip around the world. I heard from him at frequent intervals, and he seemed to be supremely happy. He was having the time of his life and was enjoying every day of his experience—an- other illustration of what companionship means when. it comes to health and happiness. Even when a recluse lives by himself in all but soll- tary confinement, he many times prefers to locate his abode in the midst of a large city with its teeming thousands of people of all sorts and kinds. Many a misanthrope still chooses to live amidst the bustle and turmoil of a great city. We like to see people around. The whole idea of parties and entertainments is based on this gregarious instinct of the race, and it is a well- known fact that the majority of us would not enjoy a vacation if we had to take it alone, if we had to spend the time of our holiday entirely by ourselves. 5. AMBITION—PERSONALITY-PRIDE If you want to be truly happy, see that your soul » becomes possessed by a burning desire to be pintuode a Mw i or do something worth while in this old world. Ps Elation is ‘a primary emotion associated with the instinct of sclf-assertion; -* and a moderate degree of *For a more tented discussion of elation and other emotions see the Appendix. 58 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY enjoyment of this primitive emotion is quite essential _ to happiness. There is real joy in self-expression. — There is supreme satisfaction in doing things. We all like to “show off” a bit—and there is no reason why we should not indulge this natural tendency in modera- tion. There is such a thing as pride of personality—a sense of one’s own importance and dignity—which, when it is gratified, makes us very happy—highly elated. For a dozer. years I used to see a certain patient— off and on— who was very unhappy. She had tried her hand at various things, was moderately successful at several, but witha], exceedingly miserable. She had always wanted to write—had done a little literary work —but her folks were not over-impressed with her tal- ents along that line. I advised her to take a six months’ rest and indulge her writing desires. J did this as a remedial effort—purely an attempt to rest her nerves and upbuild her health. She greatly enjoyed her liter- ary efforts—sold every story she wrote—convinced everybody that she was really a sort of genius, and has been both happy and successful with her pen ever since. _ It is the old problem of the round peg in the square q hole. A lot of unhappiness is occasioned by these mis-)_ fits. It’s truly hard to be ambitious and enthusiastic) about a job you don’t like. Contentment is one of the|/ essentials of happiness. ul The doctrine about this world being a so-called “‘vale* of tears” is a sentiment that should be subdued. We have already had too much of that; we will get enough ~ of these tears as we pass through the spat ly of | life without exalting and honoring this 1 a by accord- ing it the dignity of a philosophy. f EssENTIALS OF HAPPINESS If you are going to regard yourself as nothing more , than a worm of the dust—if you are willing to lie down ‘& and let people walk all over you—well, you can hardly expect to be happy. Meek-eyed submission to all the rebuffs of life will hardly bring joy to such namby- pamby, weak-kneed, milk-and-water sorts of individ- uals. Wide-awake, energetic, go-getters are the candl- dates for real satisfaction and genuine happiness. In the struggle for existence, we must not lose our ‘ideals. In the defeats of battle we must not part with f / \ ambition, and in the turmoil of living, let us not*lose “our courage. Let us not forget, as J. G. Holland said*, that: “FTeaven is not reached at a single bound; But we build the ladder by which we rise From the lowly earth to the vaulted skies, And we mount to its summit, round by round.” The soul that is either self-satisfied or easily satisfied, is one that lacks capacity for true joy and real happi- ness. There is, after all, supreme happiness in Divine discontent—in that hunger and thirst for greater and | better things which ever urge us forward and upward. There is genuine satisfaction in whole-hearted striving. One of the happiest men I know has struggled all his life against tremendous odds. He has met un- expected reverses; he has overcome exceptional diff- culties; he has suffered unusual sickness in his family; he has met with staggering losses; but in it all, and through it all, he has come up smiling—and determined _ —and in spite of it all, he continues to be good-natured, happy, and cheerful. I look upon such a man as a real *From “Complete Poetical Works,” Chas. Scribner’s Sons. How You CAN KEEP HAppy ¢~s. He has mastered the art of hitching trouble and sorrow to the chariot of joy and happiness. There is real pleasure in every honest effort to sub- due the obstacles which beset our path of progress; there is genuine satisfaction in every exertion to sur- mount the difficulties which confront us in the journey toward our chosen goal of successful attainment. The perseverance that is born of ambition is the one thing that makes life ““Worth While’ as Ella Wheeler Wil- cox wrote :* “Tt is easy enough to be pleasant, When life flows by like a song, But the man worth while is one who will smile, When everything goes dead wrong; For the test of the heart is trouble, And it always comes with the years, And the smile that is worth the praises of earth, Is the smile that shines through tears.” Ambition keeps us happy while we fight the usual battles of life. Ambition fires our enthusiasm while we play with spirit the game of living. Ambition main- tains our courage while we press forward amidst the . trials and struggles of our short but eventful careers. __._ Ambition feeds hope and strengthens our faith as we _ press the battle to the enemy’s gates—as we wrest vic- tory from the jaws of defeat and crown our threatened failures with the diadem of success. This magnificent struggle is beautifully told by Foley in his poem, “Un- dismayed” :t *From ‘‘Poems of Sentiment,’ W. B. Conkey Co., Chicago. +From “Tales of the Trail,’ E. P. Dutton Co., New York. a ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 61 ‘He came up smilin’—used to say He made his fortune that-a-way; He had hard luck a-plenty, too, But settled down an’ fought her through; An’ every time he got a jolt He jist took on a tighter holt, Slipped back some when he tried to climb But came up smilin’ every time. “He came up smilin’—used to git His share o’ knocks, but he had grit, An’ if they hurt he didn’t set Around th’ grocery store an’ fret. He jist grabbed Fortune by th’ hair An’ hung on till he got his share. He had th’ grit in him to stay An’ come up smilin’ every day.” Incentive is a powerful factor in human happiness. ; e The motive helps many a struggling soul to keep up uf the effort—to press forward in spite of difficulties. An- ticipation is indeed sometimes better than the realiza- tion. It is the incentive behind our efforts that imparts joy to the endurance of trial and adds pleasure to the experience of hardship, as we march on in pursuit of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow of promise. We are always happy when we have something to work for—to live for. We are strengthened for the toil of the day when we have something to look for- ward to. Incentive is indeed and in truth the urge of ambition. A few years ago I watched the finger of ambition touch the slumbering intellect of an idle and rather useless sort of lad. I never expected him to amount 62 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY to much in this world; but things began to happen when once this chap got into action. He has astonished all his friends. There seems no end to the succession of surprises attendant-on the unfolding of this young fel- low’s career. After seeing what interest and ambition have done for this young man, I am about ready to believe that thousands of useless mortals are only wait- ing the magic touch of enthusiasm to awaken their sleeping minds and arouse their latent energies. It is not enough merely to indulge in day-dreams. Our creative ambition needs the stimulus of accomplish- ment. Planning is good as far as it goes, but the real joy of living is in the toiling and striving, the effort to realize our plans, to bring our dreams to a successful issue. It is a real satisfaction to be getting somewhere in your life plan, to know that you are on the way; to © be occupied day by day with the effort to reach your | destination. | _ Ambition begets courage, and as we shall find farther on, courage is one of the essentials of human happiness. Pride is dangerous if it is over-indulged, but there is a legitimate pride, a proper self-satisfaction which every human being is entitled to experience and enjoy. ' Ambition also leads to invention and supplies many a thrill in our efforts to overcome obstacles and sur- | mount difficulties. It is said, you know, that the cotton- _gin was invented because a mere youth fell in love with — “a pair of bright eyes and decided to do something to — attract this woman’s attention and make himself appear worth while in her esteem. Even the great inventor, Edison, when once asked — if his inventions came to him as the result of some great inspiration, replied: ‘“‘No, perspi ‘ation, perspiration.” \ ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 63 It is ambition that enables us to work hard with but little weariness and fatigue. The more our hearts are in our work, the harder we can work with less harm to health and nerves. Ambition is what sweetens the experience of life. When we have an incentive, it lightens the burdens we bear, shortens the distance we travel, and lights up the dark corners of the earth we may have to strive in for a season. Ambition brightens the soul of all who follow its lead. It cheers us onward, develops our manhood, and strengthens the worth while side of human nature; and all of this means that ambition adds to the sum of our joys, it doubles our happiness, and all this while, at the same time, it indirectly contributes to the upbuilding of the physical health. 6. COURAGE—SELF-CONFIDENCE Cowards are seldom happy. Courage is essential to © human happiness. Self-confidence is the foundation of |» bravery. There are many emotions and numerous ~ sentiments which find expression and satisfaction in the ~™ indulgence of self-confidence and courage. Our.vanity —our ego—finds joy in courage. Even patriotism is fed by that bravery which springs from courage. Courage bespeaks decision. Vacillation and inde- cision are the handmaidens of worry and fear. They are the arch-enemies of human joy and happiness. | Courage* is one of the higher and acquired human _ emotions tht represents the triumph of faith over fear. hen courage is in the saddle—fear for the time being ai ie ap ene eee io ae sO *See Append'x for a more extended discussion of instincts and emotions. } Wena 64 How You CAN KEEP fF \) ?PY has been vanquished. Fear is at the Veecer nt much of our-unhappiness. Indecision anci worry are re- sponsible for nine-tenths of our nervous troubles and psychic depressions. Now faith is the only known cure for fear, and courage is the state of mind that enables faith to function as the master of fear. Courage is one of the prime essentials of happiness. There is great joy when we bring about, through our own mental effort and moral discipline, the triumph of law over the anarchistic forces of our primitive emo- tional nature. There is sublime satisfaction in the mastery of our temperamental elements; there is su- preme satisfaction in the experience of bringing law and order out of the confusion and chaos of an uncon- trolled emotional nature. There is real joy in the struggle to wrest victory from defeat. Says Guest :* ‘When you’re up against a trouble, Meet it squarely, face to face; Lift your chin and set your shoulders, Plant your feet and take a brace. When it’s vain'to try to dodge it, Do the best that you can do; You may fail, but you may conquer, See it through!” There is great power in accumulated effort, even though many of the individual exertions be recorded-as failures. We may undertake to lift a great weight in the gymnasium; our muscular weakness prevents suc- cess, but daily trials, if they represent our uttormost | exertion, will result in such a sure and speedy muscular * *From “Just Folks,’ The Reilly & Lee Co. ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 65 development that ere long we are able to lift the weight and thus success comes to be the sum total of a long column of successive failures. And so it is in our efforts at emotional control, we may repeatedly try, only to fail, but in the end, achieve success through the moral muscular development which accrues as a result of our faithfulness in failure. If you would enjoy peace of mind and happiness of soul, have the courage never to reply to personal attacks. The best answer to the criticism of your enemy is to begin and carry on to completion another work. Said the poet: ‘“To begin is to complete the first half of your work,” and thus it would seem that all we would have to do to finish the job would be to begin the second time. In other words, it is determination and perseverance that win the fight. Freezing muddy water precipitates the solids; the resultant ice is clear. Decision crystalizes the warring and turbulent sentiments of the human soul and purifies our emotions, thus qualifying them for higher expres- pen and joyful maturity. | It is always easy to quit—to give up in the face of ) paras. a It is comparatively easy to die; the real thing is to live and fight the obstacles of life with determination and intelligence. Stamina is the secret of success and the handmaiden of happiness. Character is the prod- eK or achievement, effort, and moral decisions. The courage of real manhood stiffens in the presence of obstacles. Our self-confidence should react with courage when confronted by difficulties. The real man, with Henley says: | 66 How You CAN KEEr :JAPPY “Tt matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishment the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” There comes to my mind a patient who had become a victim of chronic fear. He had floundered around for five or six years, filling mediocre positions and lead- ing a most miserable life. I don’t know that I ever knew a man who suffered more keenly from the con- sequences of his shortcomings, and yet he lacked the courage to strike out for himself. He was so deficient in self-confidence that he had become a veritable moral coward. I don’t know what would have been the out- come in this case had it not been for his wife and two daughters. ‘The sight of these people lacking almost the necessaries of life finally stirred him to action. He left my office one day resolved to attack his problems in a fearless fashion, and he did it. He suffered untold agonies of nervous torture for three or four months until he finally got his trolley on the wire, as it were; then his courage began to pick up and he pursued his course with increasing success and satisfac- tion. As the years have passed, he has been able to reap the rewards of his moral courage. You can’t help but recognize that courage is truly one of the prime essentials of human success and happiness. _ How many times we find men and women who are made miserable and unhappy by drink and other vicious practices which hold them as bond slaves by means o: the fetters of habit which they fasten about the soul§ How often we observe that courage would serve tc®& effect the deliverance of these tormented souls if they ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 67 but dared to strike for liberty, to make a moral declara- tion of independence. LOVE AS AN INCENTIVE I remember the case of a middle aged man, whom I had despaired of ever seeing delivered from his alco- holic fetters, but he fell in love with a splendid woman and tried to persuade her that if she would marry him it would save him; this good woman fortunately had sense enough to avoid such a bargain. She put it up to him to save himself, to reform first, and then after two years of sobriety she would marry him, and he did it. He probably would have failed utterly in the proposition of getting married first and then reforming himself, although he undoubtedly was sincere in believ- ing that this woman could save him; but she was wise in forcing him to bring about these changes previous to marriage. ‘This was several years ago and they are enjoying a happy married life. When I stop to think of this man’s happy home and all that life has come to mean to him just because he had the courage to master his inebriety, and then when I contrast this case with others who simply will not put forth the effort, who are such moral cowards, so lack- ing in courage that they will not master their besetting sin—well, when I view those who succeed and those who fail, I come to appreciate how essential moral courage is to human happiness. Let me tell you about a certain woman who became so fear-ridden that in time she was afraid to leave the house, afraid to be left alone. She was tortured by all sorts of nervous miseries, had all kinds of ‘dizzy spells’? and “dying spells,” and after ten years of this 68 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY sort of slavish existence, after she had been repeatedly _ told and persistently taught that this thing was in her — head and that she would find no cure outside of her own resolution—well, she decided to make a strike for | liberty. She set the date for a certain Sunday morning © and when she got up that day, she signed, as it were, her own declaration of emancipation. It was pitiful the way she suffered for a few weeks © as she challenged her anxiety, called the bluffs of her — nervous fears, and bravely went forth with determina-_ tion to vanquish her obsession and master her dreads, but she did it. She fell down a few times the first week, but she would re-tackle her fears with this battle cry— “T will do this thing. Live or die—I will do it—I am going through with it.” And she did. It required almost a year, though, to recover from the reaction, to pull herself together after she con- quered her fears, and it took more than six months to get her picked up and built up to that point where she could begin really to enjoy normal health; but she won, and as she always says, the blessings of a free and happy life are so many and so grand that they have helped her long since to forget the bitterness of the struggle, the intensity of the fight, that she had to go through in order to gain her freedom. Every human being who goes into the conquest of nerves with that sort of determination wins. ‘There can be no other outcome but success, victory, when courage of this indomitable sort is launched against fear and dread. . You know our nervous patients always greet us with the time-worn phrase, “‘I can’t.” Of course, we know Af they would but make up their minds—they could. ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 69 They say they cannot. Their friends say they will not, and we doctors know, of course, that the real truth is, “they cannot will.” They lack courage. They won't carry on even when they once start the fight on their nerves. - If we could but impress them with the power and influence of positive thinking; if we could only get them somehow, in some way, to drop this word “can’t” out of their vocabularies. I am reminded in this con- nection of a verse in Guest’s poem along this line. He says :* ““Can’t is the word that is foe to ambition, An enemy ambushed to shatter your will; Its prey is forever the man with a mission And bows but to courage and patience and skill. Hate it, with hatred that’s deep and undying. For once it is welcomed ’twill break any man; Whatever the goal you are seeking, keep trying And answer this demon by saying: ‘I can’.” In this connection, I want to say a word about a sort of moral cowardice that is so often shown, particularly by young people. They are afraid to stand up for their convictions in the face of ridicule; they are too easily squelched by flippant criticism. Many a young fellow has taken a drink of whisky for no other reason than that he feared the ridicule and joshing of his drinking companions. Now, I believe that every man and every woman should have their own standards of thinking, of living, of acting, and that they should never hesitate to stand up with all their manhood and womanhood in the siete “A Heap o’ Livin’,” The Reilly & Lee Co. 70 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY face of any cowardly criticism that might be hurled at them. | This is just as good a place as any other to enjoy the | exhilaration that comes from the consciousness of | things bravely done. I don’t believe men and women are going to be really and truly happy if they have that cringing yellow streak in them that will permit them to strike their colors in the presence of ignorant rebuffs or flippant criticism. Physical courage may be the back- bone of bravery but moral courage is the soul of ) character. Before this subject is passed, I must tell you of a_ young fellow thirty years of age, who had all but acquired the reputation of being a ne’er-do-well. He had been drifting about for fifteen years from pillar to | post. He had drifted from one position to another and» when I first knew him, behaved very much like a | whipped dog. He certainly had a well-developed “in- feriority complex.’ As a boy he had been bluffed by | the town bully, and all along the way had been brow- beaten and belabored until he had but little of his” original personality left. He had lost faith in himself | and had become sore and soured at the world in gen- | eral. There was little that was attractive about him | and he had become so inefficient that he lost even the mediocre position he held. | He decided to be thoroughly examined and it was at the conclusion of this research, when so little was found wrong with him, that he put this question to his doctor: “But, Doctor, there is something wrong with me. Something seriously wrong—I am a failure. I am down and out. What is the trouble with me?’ And this is the reply his question drew forth: ‘‘My dear i | ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 71 fellow, there is just one thing wrong with you. You lack courage. You are a victim of chronic fear. You could go right out of this office and begin a victorious struggle with yourself and the world if you only would. It is probably too much to expect that you will see this thing so quickly, and that you will so soon determine _ to change your attitude toward yourself and toward the _ problems of life, but you can do it if you will. I sin- _cerely hope you will come to see the situation as it is, _ and that you will be successful in your effort.” Would you believe it? This young fellow did what not one in a thousand does. He made up his mind on _ the spot; he resolved to act. He secured a position the following day, and has been with this one concern ever since, having traveled from the bottom almost to the top. Today he presides over a beautiful home—the home of a successful American business man. He is raising a magnificent family. He is supremely happy. He seems to enjoy life at its best, and this wonderful _ transformation, this splendid deliverance—yes, all this superb happiness is the fruit, the harvest of courage; | and how sad it is when we have to recognize that _ literally thousands of other souls are going on day by _ day, victims of fear, slaves of worry, bond-servants of ' depression, all because they lack the courage to stand up like men and women before the problems of life and wage the struggle for existence with confidence and courage. 7. RELIGION—FaITH AND HoprE Man is naturally a religious animal. All things equal, man is healthier and happier if he enjoys the | comfort and consolation of some sort of religious be- i. How You CAN KEEP HAPPY lief. True, religion can also be made-a means of fear _ and worry—we can become over-conscientious and so unduly fanatical regarding religious matters as to make ourselves sick and unhappy. But there isa satisfying j joy in genuine religious hope Faith in a Supreme Being is inspiring and ennobling. A good religion is a real shock absorber. Fear is at “the bottom of much unhappiness; and faith is the only known cure for fear. And religious faith is the master — mind cure—no other form of faith can exert such power in controlling or influencing human thought. There is a peculiar and satisfying sort of joy in the © act and attitude of.worship. ‘There is an inspiration | connected with the belief in a future existence. But the kind of religion that contributes most to our happiness . is the sort that, while it assures us of a futurelife, _ exhorts us to do everything within our power to make | _this old world a better place in which to live. Religion affords opportunity for the exercise of many _ ‘of dur_more.tender.and_.uplifting emotions. Awe, rev- erence, gratitude, pity, humility, and altruism are all factors in religious experience. In the more primitive or ignorant peoples, fear and superstition also play an important part in religious beliefs and practices. Christianity is founded on the idea and sentiment of love—and “perfect love casteth out all fear.” Peace, real peace of mind and soul is, after all, the art of happiness; and religion affords that “peace that passeth all understanding.” The pagan people rejoiced with misgiving. They lived in constant dread that something was going to happen, and it would seem that even modern Christians are sometimes fearful to be happy. How often we ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 73 hear the remark: “It is just too good to be true.’’ We seem to forget that we really owe a duty to ourselves to be happy so that we will therefore be useful and efficient. | We must distinguish between true happiness and fleeting, sensual pleasure. While the Scriptures seemed to look down upon those who are denominated “‘lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God,” it should not be inferred that the element of pleasure is no part of real happiness. True, pleasure is not the end of life but an experience to be enjoyed, to inspire and encourage us as ‘we pass on through life’s varied stages. As we tread the path of duty and search for truth, we should not despise legitimate pleasure in our quest for true happiness. _ Many well-meaning souls disdain happiness because they confuse it with so-called worldly pleasure. They confound it with mere sensual gratification. We should remember that the heaven of psychology is right here on earth; Christ Himself said “The kingdom of heaven is within you.” Christ, speaking of His mission on earth, said: “I am come that your joy may be full,” and elsewhere in the Scriptures we are frequently exhorted to rejoice evermore. And even the Wise Man said that “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” Good cheer is a powerful and beneficial medicine. Said the Master: “Take no thought what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, or wherewithal ye shall be clothed.” That is indeed the gospel of real happiness, of genuine, carefree, unalloyed joy, and represents the ideal state of mind for all those who would enjoy the ideal of living. 74 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY We can really form the habit of gladness. We can come to experience the peace of mind that the Apostle Paul meant when he said, “I have learned in whatso- ever state I am, therewith to be content.’’ ‘ Restless- | . ness is incompatible with happiness. | Of course, we are put in this world for some definite purpose. ‘There can be no doubt about it. We have © to eat and sleep and play and work and do many of these things—but in and through it all, there is some hidden and eternal purpose. Now, maybe, we never | really know what that purpose is—some of us may— some may not. Sometimes we may best fulfill that Divine plan by just faithfully plodding on. In other | cases, no doubt, it is given us to know something of the plan we are a part of. But the important thing i is tor | ea off this Eee when he short life ends. A sorte y havin: OF LIVING You see, the ordinary religious belief consists merely in getting ready to die. The truth is we get ready to die by the way we live. . Our day by day life determines what we are and settles beforehand what we can be- come when we are through down here. We have a right to live as the men and women Goa made us—to eat, sleep, think, play, etc.—as we are, but in and through this earthly existence, recognize, plan for, and prepare for, the next step, the next life, when we will be creatures of a different order. It’s inspiring to know, not only that there is a purpose in our present lives, but also a better and more glorious plan and purpose for our future lives. | ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 75 Every human life presents rough places which must be traversed; there are steep hills to climb; fiery trials to be endured; fierce storms to suffer from; and many bitter defeats to be experienced. In and through all these changing vicissitudes, religious hope—spiritual confidence—serves to comfort and sustain the wayward and cowering human spirit. A belief in God helps us to meet the trial with pati- ence, the storm with confidence, adversity with forti- tude, fear with faith, and even death with the assurance of life everlasting. There is no disconsolation so bitter, no suffering so keen as the feeling that “no man careth for my soul.” When we feel that life is not worth the living, that the struggle for existence is not worth the reward, that . { | humanity is sordid, business dishonest, and_ politics nothing but graft, when all the world seems drab and dreary, when we really feel that nobody cares; then it is that we find in religion a’sustaining solace, a helpful inspiration, an influence that saves some of our ideals from being utterly shattered, while its consoling minis- tration preserves some of our ambitions to activate and energize us on another day. Yes, it helps some to feel that there is an over-ruling Providence, that there is a sustaining power, that there is a supervising engineer who is not only the designer but the upholder and director of the great astronomical plot of which our world is a part—true, but a tiny speck, nevertheless this planet with all it contains is a part of the orderly procession of the limitless worlds that are whirling on through infinite space. This is a universe of order. Our world and its associated planets are manifestly subject to law. We ro ) 76 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY are not living in a hit-and-miss universe. We are dwell- ing on a planet that is regulated in accordance with well-balanced and magnificently conceived laws. Our great object should be to gain that knowledge which will help us to live in harmony and cooperation with these regulations and laws which are the controlling power and influence dominating both the spiritual and material universe. In life’s darkest hour, religious faith buoys us up when cast down for the time being; in the spirit of our own mind we can tide ourselves over these periods of unusual stress and strain by the inspiration of hope and the urge of a well-defined religious faith. Hope helps us to bear our burdens, to look beyond\ expect better things in the future; even to look beyond the darkness and distress of the hour and to confidently | the span of one short life and believe in a fuller and better existence beyond the grave. | It is a great comfort to feel that our ship of per- sonality, our planetarial abode, has a pilot, that it has a good one, an experienced and reliable guide. It is helpful to feel that we have a counselor and friend of infinite wisdom and limitless power, even though He be. invisible, even though it requires faith on our part to grasp and hold the idea. Religion exerts a Stadia influence on mankind. Human beings are very much like a pendulum, they r tend to swing from joy to sorrow, from elation to de- — | pression, from life to death; but religion is a great regulator in that it gives us a larger, more distinct— yes, more idealistic viewpoint, by which to estimate other values and from which to determine other — relationships. ’ 7 ‘ aa " A A.) toe coat { ‘- i ye | : Lee ay ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS hiv While we live in a universe of law, we must not deify law. We must remember that there is something be- hind all this orderly procession of Nature. We must not lose sight of the Law-giver. There simply must be some sort of personality behind the visible and ma- terial universe. Shits He | ROLE OF RELIGIOUS FAITH Mica I had an interesting experience not long ago with a patient who, in connection with the study of his emo- tional life, when we came to the question of his religious experience, frankly stated he doubted very much whether he believed in a Supreme Being and he was quite sure that he did not believe in a future existence. He hastened to say that it was the rankest form of egotism to want to live again after you had already lived once in this world. He asked me if I believed in a personal deity of some sort, and I replied that I did. Then he asked me what proof I ‘could give him to substantiate my belief in a personal God. I frankly told him’ that outside of what appeal the physical universe might make to him in its vastness and com- pleteness, I had no evidence to present, aside from my own personal beliefs and experience. He was a married man, and I asked him if he loved his wife. He assured me he did, and I asked him if he could prove it to me. He flushed and said, ‘‘No, I can’t prove it to you, but my wife believes it.”” I told him that many things about my religious beliefs were very much like his attitude about his wife, that it was undoubtedly a real experience to me, but that I didn’t know just how to go about proving my experience to him, that it was a personal matter with me. ( . 78 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY When we talked further about his belief in a future existence, I asked him if he believed in evolution, and ™ he replied that he did. Then I put this question to him: ‘Do you mean to tell me that you think the present human race—you and I as concrete illustra- tions—represent all that God, or whatever is managing evolution, can produce? Are we the final product? Are we the best that can be done? Do you and I represent the last word in personality?’ Again he flushed and replied, “‘No, I guess not. I guess when I come to think about it, maybe after all, I believe in a future existence.” So we must remember that natural law is flexible. Man is able to do very much to dominate his material surroundings, to manipulate physical force and to rise above the control of natural law. Modern science with its inventions is ample proof of the flexibility of phys- ‘ : ical laws and it is a source of real happiness to the human race to enjoy the concept that there is a Law- giver behind it all. There is joy as we contemplate the thought that -: there is a supreme court, a final tribunal before which the injustice of the hour shall ultimately be rectified, that there is a harbor in every storm, and that the ever-_ lasting arms are a real refuge in time of distress. whe experience of religion is just as real as anything that exists in other realms of human nature; and the — happiness and joy that come therefrom are just as real, — if not more so, than the happiness and joy we secure © from the more transient and fleeting pleasures of our day by day life. I want to tell you about a case, a patient of mine, who, although he had made great gains in his physical +a / ‘a wy i= ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 79 health and his nervous control, was still far from being a happy man. He didn’t get along well with his wife, was always having trouble with his business associates, and although I had intimated to him repeatedly that I thought he ought to improve his spiritual nutrition and try to develop his religious life a bit, the suggestion didn’t seem to take hold. Finally a real calamity befell him, a catastrophe overtook him, and he was driven to his knees, as it were. He felt he would have to have help from some source that was superhuman. His better nature seized the reins, the spiritual side of his character came to the front. He sought refuge in re- ligion, and found it. This man’s whole life has been changed. He is happy in his home. He gets along splendidly with his new business associates. His grouch is gone. He has ceased to whine and complain about his health. He is all over his tendencies toward periodic blow-ups. He has control of his nerves. He acts and talks like a real man; he is a real man; he is a man living a real life, a balanced life. He is not a one-sided individual, a crank, a grouch, a whiner. His emotional life now is well balanced between work, play, religion, and his social life. So many times have I seen religion work wonders for frail humanity. I have seen it uplift the fallen, and cheer the downcast, and inspire the weak, but I never Saw a more spectacular, almost miraculous transforma- tion than occurred in the case of this man. I am also reminded in this connection of a woman, a business woman about thirty-five years of age, who was breaking down her health, whose nerves were on edge —well, the stage was all set for a grand and glorious ( \ 80 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY smash-up. She was about to go to pieces. Happiness she had sought, but it had eluded her. She had made y that common mistake of trying to find happiness in pleasure, in seeking for joy in excitement, in looking for satisfaction in mere diversion. About this time she was seriously injured in an automobile accident, and a long sojourn in the hospital led to thinking, real meditation. Encouraging words dropped now and then by visit- ing friends, but more particularly the kind ministration of a Christian nurse, brought about a change of view- point, producing a new way of looking at life, and this woman—without going through any experience such as would ordinarily be called a conversion—found re- ligion, found it for herself and by herself in a room in the hospital. I don’t know whether or not she has since joined a church, but I know she has become an extremely happy woman, an extremely useful woman. The transformation is evident to all her friends, and it is but another illustration of the fact that man is by nature religiously inclined, and that he feels better if © he has some sort of religion—no matter how simple — and childlike it may be, it serves the purpose of pro- viding for proper emotional elimination along spiritual lines; it is good for the health and contributes to ~ happiness. WHAT RELIGION EMBRACES Now, of course, what I mean by religion is not a — dogma, a creed, a formula of some sort—lI intend to ‘ include all spiritual and moral influences. Music and art are a part of my definition of religion—the in- spirational side of life and all that tends to urge mate- — : LN ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 81 rial man to attain to spiritual living. I am not, as a part of a religious experience, having in mind any efforts to communicate with the dead, or any of those fantastic or bizarre ideas that come into prominence now and then, and attract attention. By religion I mean the worship of the Infinite, the love of the spiritual, together with loyalty to those concepts and ideals which are superhuman and divine. In this connection I want also to tell about the case of a married woman, about fifty years of age, who had led an extremely selfish life. She was wholly self- centered. Her health was poor. Her nerves were all but shattered. She had refused to have children; she didn’t want to be bothered with them. She was one of the most selfishly selfish women I think I ever met. For twenty-five years her husband had endured this. He saw that she was getting worse instead of better, and I remember so well the day that he placed his wife under my professional care, and said to me frankly: ‘Doctor, if you can’t help her, I am going to leave her. I won’t stand it any longer. I have only a few years left. I am going to have a little happiness. I am not going to spend the remainder of my life tied down to such selfishness and misery. Now, you do your duty, for if you fail, I am through.” And I knew by his manner that he meant it, and so when everything else failed to help his wife, and when all my efforts seemed to make little or no impression on her, I told her frankly that her husband was going to leave, and he backed up his words by promptly Starting suit for divorce on the grounds of extreme mental cruelty, etc. The divorce suit did the business. She waked up, she came to herself, and I never saw a 82 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY case of neurasthenia, hysteria, hypochondria and what not, cured in such short order in my life. She said to me: ‘Doctor, what is the quickest way to get over this thing? What is the best technic for getting rid of myself and starting life anew? Show me the quickest and shortest route. I will pay any price. I will do anything.”” When I told her that she would probably have to look to religion if she wanted to get big things done in a hurry, she said: ‘What kind of religion? Where will I get it? Where will I find it? Show me the way.” | And so I sent her in to my wife and professional co-laborer. I don’t know what happened. I guess some sort of a psychologic phenomena took place in there that might be called a new birth. I confess I don’t understand a lot of things in theology, but psychologically speaking, a new woman came out of that office. She discontinued all treatment and further ministrations on our part, and went home saying: “Don’t you worry about me. I will make good.” In ~ two weeks I got a letter from her husband, asking: ‘‘What in the world has happened, Doctor? What did you do to her? She is changed, positively changed. Do you suppose it will last?” 4 I wrote back to him that I hoped it would, that she _ seemed to exhibit signs of genuine repentance and that I wished him a new and better life. She made good. ~ She went into philanthropic work. She paid particular ~ attention to charitable work for children, and the last I — heard their home life was indeed happy, with five little — adopted ones sitting around their board. The last — letter I received from this woman was replete with — expressions of joy, happiness, and real satisfaction. ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 83 Now, [ am frank to confess I never saw many experi- ences like this; it is one in a thousand. I have had a pretty large and rich experience with folks who need this sort of help, and I have seen religion do a whole lot to help a large number of my patients, but this case is one of half a dozen apparent miracles that I have seen happen; but it serves the purpose of illustrating what religion can do and will do if we really get it, or 1 presume it would be better to say, if it really gets us. RELIGIOUS DIFFICULTIES I want to tell you also about the case of a young man, twenty-five years of age, unmarried, a college graduate, who came complaining of many things, both physical and nervous, but when we got to the bottom of it, his troubles were found to consist largely of worry over science and religion. He had a good re- ligious training in his youth. He went to college and of course was taught many things that did not har- monize with his early religious training. He worried, and fell into the error of thinking that he should be able to reconcile everything about science and religion —all the teachings of theology on the one hand, and the teachings of science on the other. Of course, he couldn’t make them dovetail. There were many points at which there seemed to be divergences, and he allowed anxiety over this to worry him so that it all but ruined his health. Now, I tried to explain to this young fellow that Science represents what we know or think we know about the material universe, that philosophy represents what we think about the problems of life, and that re- ligion represents how we feel, what we believe about ' 84 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY : things invisible, spiritual, eternal—and the future, Finally he came to see that he could enjoy religion even ‘f he couldn’t reconcile all the doctrines of the church with the teachings of modern scientists. He came to see that if we could fully understand, explain, and dem- onstrate everything about religion to scientific nicety, that it would not be religion at all; it would be a new form of science. He came to see that religion was a personal experi- ence, and he untangled his psychology and started out to enjoy life; found deliverance from his mental tor- tures and psychologic anxieties; found that religion is a thing separate and apart, but that it can be enjoyed and experienced independent of all other things and considerations. | I am all the time meeting people who are getting sick over religious worries. Conscience is leading them into serious psychic trouble, but more about these mat-— ters later on when we discuss those things which inter-_ fere with happiness. Suffice it to say now that while — conscience is indispensable to modern civilization, it is not the voice of God to the soul. It merely represents” our inherent and acquired standards of right and — wrong. We should not overlook the fact that while conscience always tells us to do right, it never tells us what right is. *. I remember the case not long ago, of a teacher who was upset, worried, losing weight, sleeping poorly, and — at first I thought she was perhaps a victim of tuber- — culosis, but I found her lungs in very good condition: When we got into her emotional life, we found she was having religious troubles. She had theological worries; we advised her as best we could, and sent her to @ nh . EysENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 85 tactful and wise clergyman, who set at rest many of her relig’ sus fears, and helped her over most of her theological difficulties, and then she began to blossom as the flowers in springtime; put on flesh, slept well, and in ninety days the physical picture had completely changed, the mental atmosphere was wholly trans- formed. Now she enjoys the best of health and of course is very happy. : And I might add many other cases to this testimony regarding the joy-producing power of a well-balanced religious faith, and it is but fair in this connection to say that one religion will do this work just as well as another. Religion does not have to be true and genuine in a spiritual sense to produce profound psychologic effects in human experience. _ Health is, generally speaking, improved by the tranquil, state of mind which accompanies a sincere the human soul is dedicated—consecrated—to some ort of religious belief. Now, just because it is a psychologic fact that one religion will minister to health and happiness as well as another, I would not have the reader infer that I personally entertain such an indifferent belief regarding one’s spiritual life. I i Dee to be a believer in the Christian religion, and of course, I think the Christian religion will not only do all these things toward the promotion of health and the fostering of happiness—I say, I not only believe that Christianity will do all that any other religion will do, but I personally believe there is some- thing additional, something supernatural and exquis- itely sjpiritual, something divine, about Christianity. 7 86 How You CAN KEEP H2PPY Therefore, when it comes to religion as 2 happiness - producer, I would not indifferently recommer {1 any one of several religions; I would recommend the sublime | and supernal teachings of Jesus Christ. \ \ | PAR DOTY THE LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS E HAVE considered the seven essentials of V happiness; now we come to the seven luxuries of human joy and well-being. By the luxuries of happiness we refer to a group of influences which, while not truly essential to fundamental happiness, are nevertheless, highly contributory to the greatest joy of living. If rightly understood and wisely utilized, these so- called luxuries of happiness are able greatly to augment the degree of joy which can be experienced by the average man or woman. Let us study how we may wisely employ these joy-luxuries so as to make our lives more rich and worth while. In an industrial age, such as the present, we are in possession, as a nation, of abundant material goods whose proper distribution would contribute something to the pleasures of living, and it is in this connection that politics and industrial policies come to touch elbows with the subject of happiness. We must learn in the conquest of self, to harness the emotions of the savage to the service of reason—to utilize the potential of barbarous impulses in the co- ordinate work of civilized man. What we call society is all but empty of real and abiding pleasure. About its only satisfying emotion is the feséin » o}that uncertain happiness producer called ” \ \ 87 88 How You CAN KEP | HAPPY How shall we distinguish betwee those things which might be called the legitimate comforts of living and the harmful and happiness-destroying luxuries of life? Possibly the best single criterion would be to throw out all our pleasure-seeking and happiness efforts which have their roots in vanity. Again, we must not overlook the value of our small efforts, as in the end they are added up into the sum total of temperamental change and emotional control. What is a step compared to the ascent of Pikes Peak, and yet when we reach the mountain heights, we have attained our goal merely as the result of a succession — of these single steps. As we stand in the lowlands and view the heights, we must recognize that we scale them by the repetition of individual steps. We will continue the study of the luxuries of happi- ness under the following seven heads : Wealth—leisure. Play—humor. Education—culture. Art—music. Travel—adventure. Home—and children. A settled philosophy. Soe 1. WEALTH—LEISURE 4 While wealth is not really essential to Bunminesd it can be made, if rightly employed, to contribute enor- q mously to one’s enjoyment of life. -Money will not — only enable us to obtain many things that are essential to happiness on the one hand, but ji]l also enable us to supply ourselves with numerogs conveniences and LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 89 luxuries which are sometimes indirectly contributory to me happiness. Wealth also enables us to do nen — k the soul, and thus indirectly contributes to the sum of our happiness in that it increases the satisfaction of living. ~ There is no question He that discoveries in recent years, not only in the matter of natural resources, but in labor saving machines and other inventions—auto- mobiles, the radio, etc.—I say, there can be little doubt but that all of these developments have actually in- creased the potential of human happiness. ‘That is, they have made it possible for a greater number of people to live a broader and fuller life, to actually get more out of living. Improved methods of agriculture, time-saving and labor-saving devices—all these things have made it possible for a larger number of people to enjoy more happiness during the span of one’s short life on this planet. We may call attention again to the fact that many poor people are quite happy, though it will be admitted by everyone that when human beings descend to the level of poverty, happiness is greatly curtailed. On the other hand, no one can help but recognize that a wider distribution, a better division of property, as is coming about in the world today, is adding enormously to the joy and happiness of tens of thousands of human beings. } There is no use trying to evade the fact that the possession of property, the control of moderate wealth ¢. on the part ot the average person, contributes enor- / mously to happiness. When you own property you are | 90 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY not only able to provide your loved ones with the — necessities and some of the luxuries of life today, but you feel more safe and secure against tomorrow; against the time when old age may cripple and curtail your earning powers. ' Moderate wealth affords a feeling of security and safety against the future, against the years of declining earning capacity. I say moderate wealth because of the well-known fact that many of the enormously wealthy classes are exceedingly unhappy. They are overburdened with the care of their wealth—at least, as I have observed them in my office, they are often far from happy. The extremes of poverty on the one hand, and the extremes of affluence and wealth on the other, conspire to bring about unhappiness. It has been my observa- tion that those who are moderately well-to-do are most happy, seem to have the greatest capacity for happiness and enjoying life. I have seen some very poor people who were quite happy, but it seemed to me they were on the borderline of feeblemindedness, and I must say I know some very wealthy folks who are very happy—not that I would imply that they border on feeblemindedness; they sim- ply know how to bear their wealth gracefully, utilize it wisely, while withal they do not allow it to spoil them — or to interfere with their humanness. \ / I know a man, a very wealthy man, a selfish, stingy soul, who is very unhappy. I have often pitied him and wondered if there were anything that could com ‘into his life to stir him up and give him a little joy. There seems to be but one satisfaction. which can serve to cheer his lonely and unhappy existence and that i LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 91 the consciousness of the power of the possession of the wealth which he controls, and sometimes he has used this power in a very unscrupulous and unholy manner. Let me tell you about a young man and a young woman who married a few years ago on fifty dollars a week: How they managed to get along, I don’t know. They have really suffered some of the stings of poverty. ‘ They have two little ones now and at the present time they are still maintaining a little home and raising these two children on seventy-five dollars a week. They never complain. They are cheerful; they both seem to be very happy. One could hardly say they are contented, but he is struggling on, living in hopes of being able to earn more money. Devoted to his work: he is not a man of great ability, and is probably never going to earn a very large income, but they seem to be supremely happy in the home they have founded and in the family they have started to raise. They have most of the essentials of happiness but certainly, aside from their home and children, have few of its luxuries. One cannot help but recognize how their joy would be augmented if they had just a little more, but perhaps it will be all the sweeter when they toil for it and wait for it and anticipate it, and then later on, get it. It is folks like this that make us real- ize, help us to appreciate, that happiness is a matter of the soul, that it is a kind of internal climate, and that it does not, after all, consist in the abundance of the things which we possess. THE PROVINCE OF DRUDGERY The general increase in intelligence, the availability of education for the rank and file, is undoubtedly a 92 How You CAN Kk “ip HAPPY factor which has had to do with. che more wide-spread accumulation of wealth, the development of natural resources, and the possession on a larger scale of those material things which contribute to human happiness. The wider distribution of wealth, the possession of money on the part of a greater number of people, and in larger amounts, is in this generation contributing to free the white race from the slavery of poverty, just as great political movements and military operations in the past have freed the black race from slavery and numerous peasant races from serfdom. It is all right to talk to young people about the blessedness of drudgery. A certain amount of trouble and training and discipline is essential to the salvation of youth. Indolence and idleness are associated with vice and intemperance. When it comes to the rising generation, we cannot expect to keep them pure unless we make them work. They need a certain amount of hardship, and so I am willing to subscribe to those teachings which recognize the mission of drudgery; but when folks grow up and have the responsibility of a family and all that, I know full well, as a physician, that drudgery is not blessed. We can bear a certain amount of responsibility and live in the presence of certain difficulties, and seem to get moral discipline, spiritual culture, and character development out of these adverse experiences, but when you push this too far, happiness not only takes its flight, but health likewise departs. A certain amount of drudgery may be good, but too much is fatal to both health and happiness. | We therefore welcome those developments in human society which more and more relieve adults from over- . Aull LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 93 intense application and too much drudgery; but we do not look with favor upon this tendency of young men and young women to grow up in idleness, for we still believe in the old adage, when it comes to the young folks, that ‘‘Satan finds mischief for idle hands to do.”’ One of the great advantages of wealth, when it comes to the question of happiness, is that the posses- sion of money enables one to enjoy leisure, and a cer- tain amount of leisure, if it is not indispensable to hap- piness, is certainly a great nid in increasing one’s ca- pacity to enjoy the pleasures of living. Toil may be good for the human species and Hide | " ery may be a blessing i in disguise, but we must not for ( one moment lose sight of the fact that a reasonable amount of leisure is quite essential to happiness. ‘There are individuals who, because of necessity or through acquiring the hurry habit, are always in a rush; hardly have time to breathe; are never able to stop for a moment to enjoy life. I say, such a hurly-burly life of hustle, drive, and work, is incompatible with the real enjoyment of happiness. True, a great many persons might have more leisure than they enjoy. They are unnecessarily busy; they have an exaggerated sense of the importance of things, including themselves; and they are altogether too seri- ous about their daily duties and the ordinary obliga- tions of life. Such persons need to acquire a different viewpoint of the relative importance of the daily de- mands of an ordinary life, and thus be in position to provide a sufficient amount of leisure in order to enable them to enjoy the pleasures of living. It is the possession of wealth, at least in moderate amounts, that enables one to have the leisure that pro- How You CAN KEEP HAPPY ® v vides for play, recreation, and many of the more enjoy- able pastimes and pursuits, which are a part of a well- ordered and well-proportioned human life. THE WISE USE OF WEALTH One of the best ways in which wealth can be used in | -large amounts to help humanity is to set in operation enterprises which will help men to help themselves. It is all right to endow hospitals and to found other sorts of charitable institutions, but this can be overdone. What man most needs is an opportunity to help him- self. Wealth is best utilized in the founding of enterprises and institutions which give men a chance to work, a chance to improve their own condition by means of their own personal exertion. I know of a family here in Chicago that has been the recipient of a great deal of charity from a certain wealthy couple and all that it has done for them is to enable them to raise ten feebleminded, defective, de- generate children, and I cannot help but regard the whole thing as a curse to future generations. ‘This wealthy couple have really founded a dynasty of vaga- bonds, drunkards, thieves, murderers, and prostitutes, for already the oldest of these children have begun to reproduce and replenish the earth with their feeble- minded and degenerate offspring, both legitimate and © illegitimate. Wealth can be unwisely used in so-called charity and philanthropy so as to perpetuate the miseries of pov- erty and degeneracy in future generations; to add to — the numbers of that great “aristocracy of the unfit” whose dependent members must be supported by their 5 LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 95 7 . more thrifty and strong-minded fellows. Charity and philanthropy are not always compatible with the eu- genic welfare of a race or nation. At the time of this writing I am thinking ase a wealthy couple who get a great deal of enjoyment out of their riches; they use their money in wise ways to help a great many others. Scores of persons have been helped to help themselves because of the wise giving here and there on the part of this couple, and they are exceedingly happy and active—they are useful mem- bers of society. He toils in the business world, while his wife is a very useful woman in club life and takes a great interest in civic affairs. She is a social servant, she is not an idle butterfly. I know the Scriptures say that the “Love of money is the root of all evil,” but it is not the money or the possession of it that is evil; it is the use or abuse of it | that constitutes the evil; it is the inordinate love of it, and the love of it for itself and for the selfish power it may represent. Money, if wisely used, can always be made to contribute to human happiness. Wealth may be the source of the real and higher joys of living if it is properly understood and wisely utilized. Because of such erroneous interpretations of other- wise laudable teachings, many persons are looked upon as being wicked just because they are wealthy and it may be that two thousand years ago the kind of rich men they had were such that it would be “easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go through the Gates of Heaven,” but I think the time has come when we are going to have rich men who, because of talents they have inherited, because of native ability, are going to use riches in a way not only 96 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY to contribute to their own happiness, but to bless the whole human family, and that these rich men are going to be just as eligible to realms of future bliss and glory as any poor man who has toiled along the pathway of life through this so-called vale of tears. A man does not have to be rich to be wicked. Plenty of poor folks are able to exhibit this same human ten- dency. Character is after all quite separate and apart from the possession of wealth. Money is simply a symbol of value and riches—po- tential energy. It is of itself neither good nor bad, any e- more than fire, water, electricity, or any other material “ thing or physical force. Its character after all is deter- ) mined largely by the use to which it is put and by the / motives and purposes dominating the mind of the one £. who exercises the control. Wealth is a leverage that can be used for personal enjoyment and racial improvement. Man does not create gold, he simply finds it. Our natural resources are a species of divine philanthropy and every person who discovers or happens to find himself in control of : these means to human happiness, should look upon his possession of these resources as a sort of trusteeship. Natural resources are not things which man himself — has earned; he simply has discovered them; he has been fortunate in finding them and he should hold them in trust, as it were, for the benefit of the whole human family. There should be a great difference between the feeling of the right of possession in the control of an oil well or a gold mine as compared with the feel- ings of a farmer in the right of possession of the grain which he has raised by his personal cultivation of the soil. LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 97 I am thinking about the case of a man that was made rich by the War. His wife scarcely knows how to read or write. Of course his wealth, after long delays, has made an entrance for him into several clubs, but still his wife lingers behind, fearful to mingle with her fel- lows, robed in silk and bedecked with diamonds, but unable to carry on a satisfactory conversation with the average high school girl without betraying her lack of education and culture. Now these people are about as unhappy a couple as | know. They were happy in their married life before they had riches. | As might be suspected, the possession of all this money makes this man a shining mark for the unscru- pulous female of the species, and all this has made the wife inordinately jealous, and well—they are simply unhappy, miserable. Joy has taken leave of their home and many is the time I have heard this woman pine for the days of their poverty when they were so happy and enjoyed their children. Of course, the chil- dren are being raised in idleness, and it is not going to take them long, according to present indications, to spend their father’s money when it is once entrusted to their hands. This is a case where wealth has not been wisely used. They did not have the necessary training and discipline to enable them to bear it gracefully and to manage it efficiently. It has proved a curse to this family and I think is going to prove a curse to their children. How many cases I have come in contact with where wealth has cursed its possessors because it has led them to attempt the impossible, to try to break into society, to try to mingle with men and women of culture. It has led them to shun the society of their friends of 98 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY former days, and they are unable to gain entrance to * the social circles of their more cultured, wealthy fellows. There is not only joy in the possession of moderate wealth because of the power and possibilities which it represents, but there is real pleasure in playing the game of commerce. ‘The opportunity to hunt and compete and fight as indulged by our primitive ances- tors is rapidly disappearing. We even talk about out- lawing war, but we must substitute other games, which will intrigue the minds of men and will satisfy their innate hunger and thirst for competition and rivalry. We must not overlook the fact that trade is a wonder- ful education and business an invaluable discipline and training. THE CURSE OF POVERTY We must remember that when we cultivate the sheaf and prune the tree, we not only enhance the harvest we subsequently reap, but we are also cultivating the mind; there is ripening in the heart of the world’s workers those spiritual fruits—patience, courage, and perseverance—which are invaluable in the develop- ment of a strong and worth-while character. The search for wealth, the effort to earn money, has led the human race to encircle the globe, to sweat in the tropics, to shiver in the Arctics. It has opened up the whole world today to be the dwelling place, the play- ground, and the workshop of the human species. And © we must remember that all this effort to explore and — discover, this struggle for wealth, has done much not — only to enrich the nation but likewise to enrich the char- acter of each struggling person. LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 99 While we do recognize the fact that a