^ mMA/S fiEQUITA 
 
 HELEN OfOKENS 
 
 0t 0» 
 
 ■i>il»i»iii iiTilm
 
 L I B RARY 
 
 OF THE 
 
 U N 1 VER5ITY 
 
 or ILLINOIS 
 
 D553 w 
 
 V.I
 
 A WOMAN'S REQUITAL. 
 
 ;il Houel. 
 
 BY 
 
 HELEN DICKENS, 
 
 THiJR OF "married AT LAST," "THE MILL WHEEL^" "WILD WOOD, 
 " THE HOME OF FAITH." 
 
 ' Though the mills of God gi-lnd slowly. 
 
 Yet they grind exceedingly small ; 
 Though with patience He stands waiting. 
 With exactness grinds He all." 
 
 Longfellow, 
 
 IN THREE VOLUMES. 
 VOL. I. 
 
 LONDON : 
 CHARLES J. SKEET, 10, KING WILLIAM STREET, 
 
 CHARING CROSS. 
 
 18SL 
 [All Ri,£;hfs Reset ved.]
 
 V. H 
 
 ^Iv gear aiib ©nlj) §ister.
 
 A WOMAN'S REQUITAL. 
 
 =>«<: 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 " I see the lights of the village 
 
 Gleam through the rain and the mist, 
 And a feeling of sadness comes o'er me, 
 That my soul cannot resist." 
 
 Thirty years ago I was born, and three 
 hours after my mother died. A motherless 
 child is a pitiful thing. It is better — as in 
 my case — when there is not the faintest 
 recollection of that parent. 
 
 I am an only child, and I can truthfully 
 VOL. I. 1
 
 2 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 
 
 affirm from experience that it is a miserable 
 condition. 
 
 A good woman, a widow, who had 
 known and served my mother before her 
 marriage, was my nurse, and ably fulfilled 
 her trust. 
 
 My father was aristocratic, handsome, 
 feeble, and selfish. 
 
 He loved me, but he loved himself and 
 his violin better. 
 
 My life, until ten years ago, was spent 
 in a poorly-furnished house in a village. 
 By looking through the window I can see 
 the moon riding serenely above it ; by 
 running down the hill for half an hour 
 I can reach its rickety gate and blistered 
 door. 
 
 We were poor. It was poverty from 
 which there was no escape, for my father 
 ■was one of those erratic geniuses whose
 
 A woman's requital. 
 
 belief in themselves there is no shaking, 
 and whose success is consequently destined 
 to be never anything more than a dream. 
 Had my mother lived things might have 
 been different — but she died. 
 
 They married for — love. 
 
 A silly thing to do in the opinion of 
 most people, but a beautifully unselfish 
 action when committed by a clever, sensible 
 woman like my mother. 
 
 Their marriage was an unequal one. 
 My father, Edwin Sharland, was the 
 second son of a nobleman, a race that 
 prided itself on its purity and antiquity. 
 My mother was a — nobody, and a — pubHc 
 singer. 
 
 They met at the house of an aunt of 
 
 my father s, the Duchess of M , where 
 
 Miss Earl had been hired to sing and 
 amuse the fashionable company. 
 
 1—2
 
 A woman's requital. 
 
 My father, impulsive, weak, silly, aiid 
 music-mad, fell in love with the good- 
 looking, charming songstress. By birth 
 alone was he superior. Never a penny 
 had he made in his hfe. She had made 
 many a pound, and a good name. Her 
 connection as a teacher was excellent, and 
 her modest house was entered daily by the 
 elite of society. 
 
 Her life was as blameless, as true as 
 her face ; her contentment envied by 
 many. 
 
 Directly my father's unfortunate attach- 
 ment became known, his family renounced 
 him, and he was cast upon the world with 
 his extravagant tastes and expensive 
 hobbies to gain his livelihood as best he 
 could. 
 
 Had my mother been wise and mer- 
 cenary, she would have declined to marry
 
 A woman's requital. 
 
 him, and continued her own brave, 
 lucrative life. 
 
 She however, in this extremity, proved 
 herself a true woman. She married her 
 love with as much romance and thought- 
 lessness as any school - girl of seven- 
 teen. 
 
 Her foolishness did not end here. She 
 hearkened to her proud husband's impor- 
 tunities, and gave up her profession, per- 
 haps believing, with him, that his father 
 would relent and procure his son some 
 appointment. 
 
 This deluded couple sought a nest 
 wherein to dwell together, and found it in 
 the village of Holland. 
 
 A house was selected, taken, furnished ; 
 and therein they settled themselves upon a 
 most moderate income. 
 
 Their staff of domestics consisted of
 
 A woman's requital. 
 
 Gerard, my mothers servant, afterwards 
 my nurse, and a married couple, John 
 and Peggy, farm-servants and worthy 
 people. 
 
 Time passed happily enough, but my 
 grandfather did not relent, and my mother 
 determined to resume her profession when 
 baby should be born, 
 
 I was born, and you know what happened, 
 reader. 
 
 She of the great heart and good inten- 
 tions was taken, and laid to rest under the 
 churchyard wall ; and my poor father and I 
 were left, one a feeble child, the other a 
 weak man. 
 
 Not two months had she been hidden 
 ere he committed an unwarrantable piece 
 of extravagance. He ordered a costly 
 monument, surmounted by an angel in 
 white marble.
 
 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 7 
 
 When I knew my letters I delighted in 
 spelling out the inscription : 
 
 "IN LOVING REMEMBRANCE OF 
 
 FEANCES SHARLAND, 
 
 AGED 32 YEARS. 
 
 *The rest of the just is blessed.'"
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 "From their nests beneath the rafters sang the 
 swallows wild and high ; 
 And the world, beneath me sleeping, seemed more 
 distant than the sky." 
 
 My childhood was free enough from cares, 
 because I did not understand them. As I 
 grew I learnt pretty correctly our situation, 
 and the view I was expected to take of the 
 matter. 
 
 Naturally strong, like my mother, I 
 grew apace, and my brain keeping even with 
 my body, I might have been called a sensible 
 girl. 
 
 My education my father undertook, and
 
 A woman's requital. 
 
 instructed me in the usual routiae. In 
 this alone did he do his duty. With the 
 exception of the three hours spent with 
 him each day, I can recall no single act of 
 attention that he paid me. Gerard was 
 my adviser and companion. She bade me 
 learn well and quickly, and respect my 
 father. 
 
 This latter injunction was by no means 
 unnecessary, for, as I got to understand, 
 my mind rather rebelled to acknowledge 
 for its master and superior one who wasted 
 every day of his life, and grumbled to those 
 who served him to the best of their 
 ability. 
 
 To sacrifice any of his own pet indul- 
 gences or comforts never occurred to him, 
 and Gerard followed the example set by 
 my mother, and strove to gratify them. 
 
 Though the carpet was literally held to-
 
 10 A woman's requital. 
 
 gether by darns, my shoes patched, my 
 dresses turned and mended times without 
 number, my father never noticed it, but 
 ate his dainty dinner and drank his choice 
 wine, grumbling all the while they were 
 not better. 
 
 His dreams of success were humorous 
 and ridiculous, yet one could not but pity 
 the silly creature. 
 
 Now, it was a picture ; now, an opera, 
 to which we were to owe our fortune. 
 
 The picture was to be exhibited for a 
 year, and then sold at a fabulous price. 
 
 The opera was to enchant the world, and 
 have a run of three hundred and sixty-five 
 nights. 
 
 Alas, alas ! that a man should be the 
 slave of hope ! 
 
 At first I, too, hoped and believed. 
 Afterwards I knew the *' carriers cart"
 
 A woman's requital. 11 
 
 would retura us the rejected treasure, 
 charging more than we could afford for that 
 act of mercy. 
 
 My father was clever, but every bud 
 that opened in his imagination withered 
 ere it gained maturity. 
 
 He seemed powerless to grasp and keep 
 the idea for the time it required to put it 
 upon canvas or into notes. 
 
 Here and there through his piles of 
 MS. you come upon sweet melodies ; turn 
 the page over, and the next attempt is 
 flat, worthless. 
 
 So with his pictures. In every one there 
 was a fault. 
 
 After each disappointment he sat crouched 
 in his study, the returned child of his genius 
 placed before him, over which he hung in 
 fond despair. 
 
 The next day hope was stronger than
 
 12 A woman's requital. 
 
 ever ; his new undertaking more pro- 
 digious. 
 
 The only picture I ever thought valuable 
 was a portrait of my mother. 
 
 Gerard assured me it was an excellent 
 likeness, and the workmanship was allowed 
 to be good. 
 
 It is hanging before me now, and I can 
 see that I strongly resemble it. From my 
 mother I inherit every quality I possess, 
 coupled with her excellent health and 
 courage. 
 
 There is not a trace of my father's fair, 
 delicate beauty in my countenance. 
 
 My education was not suffered alone to 
 occupy my attention. 
 
 Gerard taught me housekeeping on an 
 economical scale ; and how to fashion my 
 own garments. 
 
 Music was my delight, and I early
 
 A woman's requital. 13 
 
 became no despicable performer on both 
 piano and violin. 
 
 My father was proud of the progress I 
 made. A sprinkling of my father's genius 
 I may have possessed, but my mother's 
 strong practictil sense and perseverance 
 enabled me to see the necessity for action 
 — the advantage of doing , as well as 
 thinking. 
 
 My father's apathy was ever a reproach, 
 a warning to me. 1 tried to rouse him, 
 and then discovered how helpless he was. 
 
 I pitied him, and as I grew stronger, 
 loved him more for his weakness. 
 
 Often have I stopped in the midst of 
 my cooking to listen to him playing, and 
 my soul has moved within me at the 
 delicious music 1 knew no other ears would 
 ever hearken to. 
 
 His shrinking from publicity was pain-
 
 14 A woman's requital. 
 
 ful. Had he been baser born, he might 
 not have been so sensitive, and more equal 
 to battling with the crowd. 
 
 Never can I forget the horror with which 
 he received my proposal that I should 
 teach music. His distress so tortured me 
 that I resolved never to mention the sub- 
 ject again, and to push on the best way 
 I could. 
 
 Had it not been for the excellent 
 servants we possessed, things could not 
 have held together. 
 
 But they saved for us, contrived that 
 there should be sufficient, and never 
 grumbled.
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 " Visions of childhood ! stay, oh stay ! 
 
 Ye were so sweet and wild 1 
 And distant voices seemed to say, 
 * It cannot be ! They pass away j 
 Other themes demand thy lay ; 
 
 Thou art no more a child !' " 
 
 The garden under John's management 
 produced all and more than we required. 
 The surplus he sold to a shop in the 
 village, unknown to my father, and the 
 money went to swell the household purse. 
 In the same way the fowls, ducks, turkeys, 
 were made profitable. They all belonged 
 to me.
 
 16 A woman's requital. 
 
 The first sitting of eggs had been pre- 
 sented to me by Peggy's brother when I 
 was a child of six. 
 
 Instructed by Gerard and John, I learnt 
 to manage them well, and regularly sold 
 eggs and fowls. 
 
 After a time, I bought sittings of ducks' 
 and turkeys' eggs, and they had increased 
 and paid many a bill that would otherwise 
 have proved a trouble to us. 
 
 The honest servants admired my thrifty 
 ways, and helped me with advice. 
 
 Friends we were not troubled with. My 
 proud father could not forget his noble 
 parentage, and prevented me making any 
 companions in the village. 
 
 The clergyman and doctor were the only 
 two who came to our house, and I saw 
 they were never at their ease with my 
 father.
 
 A woman's requital. 17 
 
 He was not popular ; he had no tact. 
 Gerard told me how different my mother 
 was ; how she would talk and laugh with 
 people till she charmed them into doing 
 what she wanted. 
 
 Her face would soften and grow so 
 winning there was not a man could with- 
 stand her when she chose. 
 
 When it was not her intention to bend 
 or conciliate, she could hold them at bay 
 in a manner peculiar to few women. 
 
 "People said she was very clever, Miss 
 Grace ; and I do know she had more 
 energy and determination than anyone I 
 ever knew." 
 
 Oftener than not, Gerard and I went 
 to church alone. Papa seemed more miser- 
 able in the old square pew than anywhere 
 else. 
 
 Sunday was to me a pleasant day. I 
 VOL. I. 2.
 
 18 A woman's requital. 
 
 had nothing to do, and used therefore tr 
 lazy about, and inspect the property insidts 
 and out. 
 
 The result of these examinations was 
 the discovery that some aged thing re- 
 quired immediate attention, if we would 
 not have it down about our ears, bringing 
 on the Monday a renewal of labour. 
 
 In church I used to look round while Mr. 
 'Duckworth stuttered through his sermon, 
 and consider how I could make old gar- 
 ments new. 
 
 I was by no means indifferent as to my 
 appearance. I admired my well-grown 
 size, my good figure, my fine eyes and 
 teeth, with a perfectly genuine healthy 
 admiration. I was much better pleased 
 with myself than if I had been sickly, 
 feeble, stupid, dwarfed. 
 
 I prized my charms as every woman
 
 A woman's requital. 19 
 
 should ; and I knew that my vigorous 
 beauty would win me many friends, and 
 help me on in life. 
 
 Strange fancies strayed in my brain — 
 peeps at the possible future — as I sat in 
 the quiet church, and pretended to listen 
 to Mr. Duckworth's twaddle, as perched 
 aloft he expounded and sermonised to us 
 poor ignorant sinners for an hour and five 
 minutes, about what he did not understand 
 himself. 
 
 I liked it — the being there, I mean. I 
 shut my ears to the good man in the box, 
 and thought my own thoughts, and watched 
 the swallows whirling and curling between 
 the beams, and darting through the open 
 door or window. Sometimes my eyes 
 rested on the three high pews devoted to 
 the " Manor " servants, or upon the pinched 
 ladies largely bonneted in the big pew at 
 
 2—2
 
 20 A woman's requital. 
 
 the other side of the church. I never 
 managed to see more than the feathers or 
 crown of these enormous head-covers. I 
 liked the birds and waving trees best, and 
 the dreams that came to me in the stillness 
 of the old church. 
 
 I sit there now, sometimes ; but the 
 dreams don't come. I try, I pray ; it is no 
 use, the door of heaven has shut, and 
 all I can do is to knock and hope ! What 
 strange power forces me to tell now what 
 I have hidden so long, I know not ; yet I 
 must obey that mysterious behest, for it 
 says : 
 
 " In more hearts than one you will find 
 an echo." 
 
 For some time Gerard had been ailing. 
 A cough troubled her, so I moved my bed 
 into her room, and nursed her. It w^as 
 nice work, for she was patient. Many a
 
 A woman's requital. 21 
 
 night, when approaching death drove away 
 sleep, she would lie and talk to me 
 till the early morning broke, and the 
 birds sang on the apple-boughs at the 
 window. 
 
 It was always about her young days — 
 when she lived with my good mother. 
 
 " Try and be like your mother, Miss 
 Grace. Nothing she put her hand to 
 ever went wrong; everything came on 
 with her, and she used to say, ' It is all 
 because I am in earnest, Gerard.' " 
 
 It was the middle of summer before my 
 dear old nurse died. The harvesters were 
 busy in the barley, and the grasshoppers and 
 crickets chirped all night long. 
 
 She had complained of feeling cold, and 
 I had lain down beside her to warm 
 her. 
 
 I must have dozed, for her voice recalled
 
 22 A woman's requital. 
 
 me from a walk I was taking with my 
 mother, in a wood full of flowers. 
 
 " Miss Grace ! Miss Grace I" 
 
 *^ Yes, nurse." 
 
 " Listen to me, dearie ; I have something 
 very particular to say. I shall not get 
 better and some day your father's turn 
 will, come, and you will be alone. I have 
 no fear for you. Miss Grace ; you are your 
 mother's own child, you will help yourself. 
 Put your hand under my pillow. Do you 
 feel a letter ?" 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " When I am dead, take it and put it 
 away, and tell nobody. After your father 
 is dead, open and read it. Promise you 
 will do this, Miss Grace !" 
 
 ** I promise, dear nurse." 
 
 *' That's a good child ; kiss me, and call
 
 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 23 
 
 I did 80, and ere the hands of the clock 
 had made another circle she had passed 
 away. 
 
 I had received my last lesson from those 
 lips.
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 " Let us, then, be up and doing, 
 With a heart for any fate ; 
 Still achieving, still pursuing, 
 Learn to labour and to wait." 
 
 I FELT my nurse's loss acutely, but I bore 
 my grief quietly. I am naturally philo- 
 sophical, and reflection had made me aware 
 at an early date that some day I must part 
 from her unless my own life was to be an 
 unusually short one. Aye, and from my 
 father also. That sad event might God in 
 His mercy postpone 
 
 The household cares, management, and
 
 A woman's requital. 25 
 
 continual contrivance necessary to keep such 
 a shattered income as ours floating, now- 
 devolved solely upon me. 
 
 Prompted by conscience, and the belief 
 that those in heaven look down upon those 
 belonging to them on earth, I strove to act 
 up to nurse's teaching. 
 
 I neglected nothing — early and late I 
 wrought, and though my efforts met with 
 no commendation, I was soothed by the 
 inward sense of satisfaction, which is always 
 the reward of those who do their best. 
 
 The house was very quiet — there might 
 have been no young life in it. But it was 
 from no lack of spirit that I was subdued. 
 Too often I had troubles that hushed the 
 laughter on my lips, and constantly there 
 was the future before me — the time when 
 I should be alone. 
 
 I did not dread it ; but common sense
 
 26 A woman's requital. 
 
 and innate precaution recommended me to 
 fit myself for it. The unexplored future 
 of Liberty charmed me — opened before 
 my mind a vista of employment and 
 success. 
 
 I should live and have my portion at 
 Fate's hands, like other mortals. I was 
 no coward, and my heart bounded with 
 hope. 
 
 I knew I should fail, but only for a 
 little time, just while death shadowed the 
 house. 
 
 Let me bury my dead and I would 
 revive. 
 
 For my mind to remain inactive and 
 clouded was impossible. 
 
 Too many were the ideas that entered 
 it ; too fantastic the pictures that imagina- 
 tion presented to it. 
 
 True to my promise, I locked nurse
 
 A woman's requital. 27 
 
 letter away in the china-cupboard, per- 
 fectly contented to exercise another act of 
 obedience and patience. 
 
 By the time the blow descended, I was 
 prepared for it. 
 
 I had become used to the idea, and not 
 having been able to avert the calamity, I 
 accepted it resignedly. While my father 
 lived I did my duty, when he was dead I 
 turned my attention to myself^ and wasted 
 neither time nor strength in selfish, silly 
 regret. 
 
 Very likely people were shocked, but I 
 did not see the connection between myself 
 and the people of Holland. 
 
 I simply followed the course reflection 
 had pointed out to me. 
 
 I must help myself, win respect, bread, 
 and a home, or collapse, do nothing, and 
 finally sink into that condition which
 
 28 A woman's requital. 
 
 enables the merciful to say " Poor thing," 
 and the brutal to scoff at. 
 
 My father was buried, and I was alone. 
 
 He died in February. 
 
 Sad enough and very chilly, I crouched 
 over the fire in the shabby sitting-room. 
 The only article of value in it was my 
 mother's piano. 
 
 The rain fell steadily, and as evening 
 approached a mist gathered, and hung like 
 a veil over the church3'ard. 
 
 Do what I would, I could not forget the 
 newly-made grave, and the loved remains 
 hidden for ever beneath the soaking earth. 
 A thrush sang mournfully in the may- 
 bush, the rain depressed it. I had fed it 
 dl the winter, and it wanted to sympathize 
 with me. 
 
 My heart was sore and heavy. 
 
 Peggy, draped in new black, came in
 
 A woman's requital. 29 
 
 with the tea-tray. She drew the table 
 near the hearth. 
 
 " Come, Miss Grace, you will make your 
 crape quite brown at that fire." 
 
 I rose directly. Economy was instilled 
 in my nature. A new dress was an event 
 in my life, and now more than ever 
 came the query, " When shall I get 
 another ?" 
 
 Peggy placed an old-fashioned easy-chair 
 at the table. This chair was mine ; I had 
 used it when a child as a place of refuge. 
 I dropped into its deep arms gladly enough. 
 The door closed, and I was alone in the 
 room. Teujpting looked the repast, the 
 white bread, the new-laid eggs, the fresh 
 butter and marmalade. Think not it was 
 my first solitary meal. No, indeed. 
 
 During my father's illness I had crept 
 down to eat, tired, sick, solitary, and I had
 
 30 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 
 
 got used to seeing my own face alone 
 reflected in the old-fashioned tea-pot. 
 
 To-night, however, my thoughts wandered 
 away from the business of eating. 1 was 
 on the alert ; the pattering rain, the gusts 
 of wind that shook the rickety casement, 
 gave rise to an odd, weird impression. 
 
 The idea of the dead seeing became a 
 certainty, and I felt I was watched. Their 
 spirits were in the room, their presence 
 hovered round me, and my courage rose. 
 
 Homeless ! a vagrant ! never — never ! I 
 felt the power, nameless but strong, to 
 meet the coming adversity take possession 
 of me. A sensation of perfect peace, tran- 
 quillity, satisfaction, stole over me. Unable 
 to control myself, I answered, *' I will." 
 
 Excitement caused my blood to tingle 
 through my veins, the strong illusion was 
 At its height, when the front door bell rang.
 
 A woman's requital. 31 
 
 Mastering my emotion, and calling to 
 my aid the dignity needful for my situa- 
 tion, I awaited the issue. 
 
 That ring was something novel and 
 important. There was not a creature in 
 the village who would trouble themselves 
 about me. My orphaned condition would 
 call forth no higher feeling than that of 
 curiosity. 
 
 I had ever observed towards the people 
 an indifferent manner, and they called 
 me proud. Pride it surely was, but 
 not of the kind they supposed. My life 
 had not been like theirs, and my ideas 
 were contrary in every respect. I knew 
 them so well, that I had little desire to 
 put my feeble parent in their power by 
 making them acquainted with the extent 
 of our poverty. So I eschewed friend- 
 ship.
 
 32 A woman's requital. 
 
 "Miss Grace," said Peggy, opening the 
 door, " here is a gentleman wishing to see 
 you." 
 
 " Then show the gentleman in."
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 " Sweet is the memory of departed worth." 
 
 My order was obeyed, and a man of 
 perhaps fifty entered. I smiled and bowed, 
 I liked his look. He took mv hand. 
 
 *' Have you ever heard your father 
 mention George Cartland V 
 
 *' Yes, often. It is very ^ood of you to 
 come, Mr. Cartland. You know, of course, 
 that my father was buried to-day ?" 
 
 " I know, and am sorry 1 could not get 
 here in time for the funeral." 
 
 He eyed me curiously. Most likely h© 
 expected me to dissolve into a flood of tears. 
 
 VOL. I. 3
 
 34 A woman's requital. 
 
 I knew my cheerful countenance and dry- 
 eyed condition was ill-suited to a child who 
 had but that day buried her last parent. 
 The next second my mind had taken in 
 the possibility that the living man had 
 had no tea. 
 
 "You have but just come, Mr. Cartland ; 
 then you will need some tea. I am going 
 to have mine." 
 
 He accepted. 
 
 '* I left my bag at the Stag when I in- 
 quired the way here. Shall I put you 
 about if I stay ?" 
 
 " No, not at all. And, Mr. Cartland, I 
 should like you to stay here ; my father 
 would wish it, so I will send John for your 
 bag." 
 
 ** Miss Sharland, you are troubling your- 
 self too much on my account." 
 
 " Indeed I am not. Did you know me
 
 A woman's requital. 35 
 
 better, you would find me too selfish to 
 allow anyone to trouble me. If the truth 
 must be owned, your presence will be a 
 help to me. There is no one in the place 
 to whom I can speak ; I am quite alone 
 with these old servants/* 
 
 " Dear— dear !" 
 
 I fancied I saw tears in his eyes. 
 
 A pull at the bell brought Peggy. I 
 had settled my visitor in a comfortable 
 chair at the opposite side of the fire. 
 
 '* Peggy, Mr. Cartland will stay here 
 while he is in Holland, so send John to the 
 Stag for his bag, and bring some more 
 tea and eatables." 
 
 A gaze of astonishment overspread the 
 countenance of the dame. Perhaps she 
 begrudged the cold fowls, or wondered how 
 I could entertain on the day of my father's 
 funeral. 
 
 . 3—2
 
 36 A woman's requital. 
 
 In a few moments the things came, and 
 we sat down to the repast. Contrary to 
 my expectations, I enjoyed it. 
 
 My companion suited me to a nicety. 
 He was frank, easy-mannered and intelli- 
 gent. 
 
 We found plenty to discuss before my 
 future was mentioned. 
 
 That subject he refrained from touching 
 upon till we were seated near the fire, and 
 my fingers lay idle on my lap, for a wonder. 
 
 He watched me earnestly for a few 
 moments, then heaved a sigh of relief. 
 
 ** Do you know, Miss Sharland, all the 
 way here I was wondering what you were 
 like, which parent you resembled ; and I 
 am relieved, for your sake, that it is after 
 your mother you take." 
 
 " You knew my mother, then V* 
 
 *' Intimately. Knew her before she
 
 A woman's requital. 
 
 married your father. My wife and your 
 mother were fellow -workers, and your 
 mother was one of the most capable 
 women I ever met. She had the best con- 
 stitution, wit and humour, coupled to 
 unusual courao^e and intellio^ence. Miss 
 EmcI was allowed to be a most fascinatinof 
 ludy." 
 
 I had liked hiin before, but now, when I 
 knew he had been acquainted with my 
 mother and valued her, as I believe such 
 women ought to be valued, my liking ex- 
 panded into confidence and reverence. My 
 face expressed my feelings, for he re- 
 marked : " But you do not remember your 
 mother V 
 
 " Oh no; but my old nurse, Gerard — you 
 may recollect she was my mother's maid — 
 used to speak constantly to me of her, and 
 it needed but little to fan the spark of
 
 38 A woman's requital. 
 
 affection, placed by nature within my heart, 
 into a flame that can now never die. My 
 father was more of a care to me than a 
 protection, Mr. Cartland." 
 
 "I perfectly understand that he would 
 be. He had not your vigorous mind or 
 body, yet a singularly talented man. I 
 think, had your mother lived, he would 
 have appeared to advantage in the world. 
 However, we must not dwell on the past 
 or we may regret it ; our business is with 
 the present, and it is about yourself I would 
 speak. I see you have been brought up 
 methodically, and are probably versed in 
 all domestic arts ? So much the better, 
 for, unless you marry, I cannot see that 
 you will be enabled to indulge in either 
 idleness or extravagance." 
 
 " I have no prospect of marriage," I re- 
 plied, noticing that he paused.
 
 A woman's requital. 39 
 
 " Indeed ; then we must turn all our 
 energies to account. Do you know how 
 your father's income was derived ?" 
 
 '' No." 
 
 " Then I will tell you — from an annuity 
 which ended with his life. Perhaps he 
 might have saved for you out of it had he 
 tried ; I do not know about that, but I do 
 know that he did not do so, because he 
 wrote to me last month and said so. Do 
 you understand your position ?" 
 
 ** Clearly. After the debts are paid — to 
 accomplish which every article must be 
 sold — I shall be a beggar !" 
 
 "I am afraid so." 
 
 An awkward silence followed. 
 
 He was distressed for me, more so than 
 
 was for myself.
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 " It was a dream, and would not stay, 
 A dream that in a single night 
 Faded and vanished out of sight." 
 
 His voice broke the silence. 
 
 '* Have you formed any plans for the 
 future, Miss Sharland 1" 
 
 "I have not." 
 
 " You are well educated, I suppose '?" 
 
 '* I believe so. I am tolerably proficient 
 in music — piano and violin ; I draw and 
 sing well; but I do not speak any language 
 save ray own. My father directed my 
 education in these branches ; Gerard taught
 
 A woman's requital. 41 
 
 me economical housekeeping and the use 
 of my needle." 
 
 *' Then I conclude you are qualified for 
 the profession most gentlewomen embrace 
 — teaching? You can be a governess." 
 
 " A governess in some one else's house ?" 
 
 " Certainly ; a resident governess." 
 
 I subsided. I did not tell him that 
 upon one point I was determined, and. that 
 was — not to herd with strangers. 
 
 A hireling in another dwelling I No, 
 emphatically 7io ! 
 
 To work I was willinsr enouo^h ; but I 
 must have my own home, be it ever so 
 poor. Some hole where I could enter and 
 act like a human beino: — a creature with 
 likes and dislikes — not a machine. 
 
 I looked round the room. 
 
 Never had it seemed so dear — so cosy. 
 Be houseless, live under the surveillance of
 
 42 A woman's requital. 
 
 strangers, to perhaps utter in an unguarded 
 moment a frank idea, an original opinion, 
 and be stared at for the next ten minutes in 
 ladylike displeasure by the mamma of the 
 family ! The joys of companionship and 
 sociability were unknown to me ; and a 
 thorough knowledge of my own disposition 
 warned me to avoid making their acquaint- 
 ance in the manner suggested. 
 
 My mind turned to make an effort of 
 resistance, to find a means of escaping the 
 misery, and there flashed into it Gerard s 
 letter, hidden away in the china-cupboard. 
 She had foreseen this time; and, loving me 
 for my own sake and my mother's, striven 
 to soften it for me. 
 
 "Wein" questioned my friend, seeing 
 my altered face. 
 
 ^' I have just remembered a letter nurse 
 gave me before she died. She charged me
 
 A woman's requital, 43 
 
 to tell no one, and not to open it until my 
 father wa8 dead and I alone. I put it 
 away in that cupboard." 
 
 " Get it ; there may be something of 
 importance in it. Gerard was a sensible 
 woman, or she could never have lived with 
 your mother/' 
 
 I took the key-basket, found the cup- 
 board-key, opened the door, and reached 
 the letter out of an old fruit-dish. It was 
 dated more than a year previous to her 
 death. 
 
 " My dear Miss Ghace, 
 
 *' I think it better to be prepared 
 with a letter in case my death should be 
 sudden, or you away at the time. One 
 never knows what may happen. 
 
 " Before you were born your mother 
 gave me a box to keep for you. It con-
 
 44 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 
 
 tains her jewellery — all that she had not 
 disposed of to help your papa — and papers 
 of value. 
 
 "It is left to your own judgment how you 
 use this gift ; but if you are anything like 
 your mother it will be put to an excellent 
 purpose. 
 
 " It is in the linen-press. 
 
 *'Jane Gerard." 
 
 '* In the linen-press !" exclaimed Mr. 
 Cartland, when I finished reading. " How 
 like a woman to hide it. My wife upon 
 one occasion, when she fancied she heard 
 robbers, deposited all her valuables inside 
 a feather-bed ; and the business then was 
 to extricate them !" 
 
 Thinking over his wife's prank, I left 
 the worthy miin and hastened to the press. 
 
 Here I had some difficulty to contend
 
 A woman's requital. 45 
 
 with, for the press was deep and full of 
 things, all more or less worthless. 
 
 At last, nearly at the bottom, and when 
 all the blood in my body had run into my 
 head through holding it down so long, I 
 felt something hard between a pair of crib 
 sheets, and triumphantly pulled out a 
 stout box fastened with a strap. 
 
 Intensely excited, I regained the sitting- 
 room, and placed it on the table. 
 
 Mr. Cartland came to my assistance and 
 opened it. 
 
 The jewellery was good ; some dia- 
 monds, according to Mr. Cartland's 
 opinion, of considerable value. The papers 
 were the deeds of two cottages in my 
 mother's native town, Leeds, and the rents 
 had gone to the support of a distant and 
 very poor relation of my mother's. Should 
 that person be dead, there was no reason
 
 46 A woman's requital. 
 
 why I should not make use of the 
 property. 
 
 Mr. Cartland's congratulations recalled 
 me. 
 
 " Heartily do I rejoice with you, my dear, 
 upon your good fortune. Now you will 
 have something to turn to. Gerard was 
 perfectly correct in keeping this box a 
 secret from your papa. He would have 
 made away with all these things to try 
 some new idea that was to make a fortune 
 for you both, and in the end only lost him 
 money he could ill afford, and had no right 
 to touch." 
 
 Silently I agreed. Well did I remem- 
 ber the money he had squandered, poor 
 dear, and the pinching we had to endure to 
 make up the bills that were short. 
 
 That was ended though, and now it was 
 my turn to try what I could do.
 
 A woman's requital. 47 
 
 '' You would like to keep this jewellery. 
 Miss Sharland ?" 
 
 " Of course I should like to, but it 
 would be absurd. My wisest plan is to 
 sell it and place the money out to the best 
 advantage. You will do this for me, Mr. 
 Cartland." 
 
 ^^ With pleasure. I will do the very 
 best J can for you, and you must look 
 upon me as your friend, your guardian. My 
 wife desired me to give her love, and say 
 she hoped you would return with me and 
 make our home yours until you found 
 something you liked better." 
 
 Such kindness moved me, and I re- 
 turned thanks very sincerely. Promise to go 
 I however did not. To society I was un- 
 accustomed, and I thought at such a time 
 I should learn my lesson ill. 
 
 "With Mr. Cartland's help things were
 
 48 A woman's kequital. 
 
 put into something like order. The fur- 
 niture was to be sold in a month's time to 
 pay the debts. Meanwhile, I could live 
 there if I chose. T did choose, and Mr. 
 Cartland returned to London carrying the 
 precious box with him.
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 " Since none enjoy all blessings, be content with your 
 few." 
 
 Peggy and John took as much care of me 
 as if I had been their own child, and I 
 regretted the time when we must part. 
 
 I walked out constantly, I required exer- 
 cise and fresh air to keep my health and 
 buoyancy. 
 
 In the spring I had special joys. I 
 knew the banks where the first primroses 
 bloomed, the sheltered nooks full of early 
 snowdrops, the hedgeway where the first 
 violets peeped out. In spring I was 
 
 VOL. I. 4
 
 50 A woman's requital. 
 
 always glad ; I awoke pleased in the early 
 morning; I enjoyed the hope, the buoyancy 
 displayed by nature. I thought incessantly 
 of my future. How should I arrange ? 
 where should I go ? Seek a place as 
 governess ? No. A daily engagement I 
 might get on with, but to be shut up with 
 the people would crush all my life out of me. 
 
 My heart inclined to Holland. If I 
 could only stay there ! This w^as the point 
 where I always stopped in my reflections. 
 Something seemed to hold me back. One 
 afternoon I returned from my walk with a 
 bunch of violets. 
 
 '' Look, Peggy !" I exclaimed, as she 
 opened the door. 
 
 " Lor', Miss Grace, it is queer how you 
 do keep some of your childish ways. I see 
 in your face you have heard the news." 
 
 " News ? I have heard nothing."
 
 A woman's kequital. 51 
 
 " Don't get frightened, Miss Grace. You 
 can see by my face it is something nice. 
 
 John says I look like I did when he asked 
 
 J) 
 me. 
 
 She certainly did look pleased, and I 
 marvelled what it could be. 
 
 '^ Tell me, Peggy." 
 
 ^'Sit down, dearie, then." 
 
 I sat down. 
 
 '* We have heard of a place, Miss 
 Grace. You know Squire Lovering's, the 
 Manor, that white house behind the 
 church in a park ?" 
 
 ^'Yes." 
 
 " Well, he wants a man and his wife to 
 manage the farm, and John has gone to see 
 about it." 
 
 '' Where is the farm, and what have I to 
 do with it r' 
 
 '' This, Miss Grace. You might live 
 
 4—2 
 
 y^/VfRSfTY QB
 
 52 A woman's requital. 
 
 with us. The farm is at Upholland, on 
 yonder hill." 
 
 My heart beat quicker. Surely my de- 
 sire was to be granted. I might, after all, 
 stay near my mother's grave. I tried to 
 remember the whereabouts of the farm, and 
 questioned Peggy. 
 
 '*' Do you recollect that old-fashioned 
 white house near the road, with the deep 
 porch and low wall in front. The orchard 
 is a sight for blossom in spring !" 
 
 " That !" I gasped, jumping up, " that 
 the farm, Martha V 
 
 '' Yes, sure enough. Miss Grace ; that's 
 the Manor Farm. The family lived there 
 once, before the Manor was rebuilt after 
 the fire. How nice it would be for us. 
 John is quite hopeful ; he says he could not 
 abear a home with no lady in it, and I 
 
 I
 
 A woman's requital. 53 
 
 would do my best to make you comfort- 
 able." 
 
 "Oh, Peggy, don't ! It is too good ; we 
 must not expect it." 
 
 I turned my back on tbe generous old 
 creature, and set about schooling myself for 
 the disappointment. It was too good to 
 come to pass. That sweet old house, the 
 large garden, the fields and woods all 
 round. A place after my own heart. 
 
 John's return was anxiously expected. 
 I had tried to prepare myself for a disap- 
 pointment and had not succeeded. 
 
 Already my imagination had placed us in 
 the house, and found me employment 
 in Danver, the next town, four miles 
 oif. 
 
 With what I earned, and derived from 
 the selling of mother's jewellery, I could get 
 along, and live with Peggy and John.
 
 54 A woman's requital. 
 
 When John did come, and knocked at 
 the door to tell me the news, I sickened 
 and shivered miserably. In a very faint 
 voice I bade him enter. 
 
 " Aye, aye, missie, don't you take on," 
 cried the kind-hearted fellow, looking as 
 pitifully in my face as the day when he 
 accidentally stepped upon my pet kitten, 
 and nearly broke my heart. " It's all 
 right; the squire has engaged us, and 
 wants to see Peggy to-morrow." 
 
 " Did you mind to tell him about Miss 
 Grace, John ?" exclaimed his wife, plucking 
 his sleeve. 
 
 '' I did. Wasn't that the last thing you 
 shouted after me, as if I be deaf?" retorted 
 he, wheeling round irefully upon his better 
 half '^I said as I hoped he had no objections 
 for us to have a lady a-living in the house 
 along with us, for there was our young
 
 A woman's requital. 55 
 
 missis, as we loved like our own, and had 
 no wish to part from " 
 
 Here his emotion entirely gained the 
 mastery, and it ended in us all crying. 
 
 I now learnt that their sorrow had been 
 for me, their trouble my desolate condi- 
 tion. 
 
 They were ready to do anything if only 
 they could keep me. 
 
 Good creatures! God bless them, and 
 let me keep them until I have made some 
 amends to them for their goodness to me. 
 They say I have done it, they are happy 
 and contented. If I go quietly to the 
 kitchen, I shall find them sitting in the 
 firelight. Peggy, erect and sprightly, busy 
 knitting, her stiff mob-cap making a 
 gigantic shadow on the wall behind her ; 
 John smokinof at his ease in the arm-chair. 
 The keys are hanging on the nail, all is
 
 56 A WOMAN S REQUIXAL. 
 
 safe for the night, and the wind that 
 moans and whistles carries no evil tidings 
 to them, simple souls ! 
 
 For my ears alone are the jeers and 
 laughs, the wails, the ceaseless sobbing, 
 that comes in the wind and reminds me 
 that one spirit is yet seeking mine. I may 
 open the window, it will be only this night, 
 like many another ; the wind will rush in 
 and extinguish the lamp, the rain will 
 spitefully drench me. 
 
 But it, the mystical thing that has power 
 to torment, this will that forsakes its 
 habitation and haunts me, will hie awa}'', 
 and I shall hear it laughing down in 
 Dapple Wood. 
 
 Peggy's interview with the squire, 
 clinched the matter. They were engaged, 
 and pledged to enter upon their new 
 service in a week. 
 
 I
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 " It was the season, when through all the land 
 The merle and mavis build, and building sing 
 Those lovely lyrics, written by His hand." 
 
 In a flutter of joy, I wrote to Mr. Cart- 
 land and related the event. All seemed 
 most propitious. We should vacate tlie 
 house two days before the sale. 
 
 A^mongst the good news Peggy had 
 learnt during her visit to the Manor, was 
 the fact that the farmhouse was furnished. 
 It seemed like a fairy story, and yet, 
 when explained, simple enough. 
 
 The family had left in the old house, on
 
 58 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 
 
 their return to the Manor, such things 
 as they did not require, and since their 
 vacation it had always been occupied by 
 decent people who meddled with nothing, 
 and managed the dairy and poultry. 
 
 The next afternoon brought Mr. Cart- 
 land. He had sold the jewellery, and 
 placed the money out, and I might reckon 
 upon twenty pounds a year. 
 
 Eight and four pence a week ! Well, 
 I should not starve upon that, I should 
 live and be merry. 
 
 His next step was to try and obtain for 
 me, from the creditors, ray mother s piano 
 and my father's violin. The poultry was 
 really mine. His proposal met with im- 
 mediate sanction. They had all known 
 me from my birth, and I might take any- 
 thing I valued. 
 
 I trespassed upon their generosity so
 
 A woman's requital. 59 
 
 far as to include my mother's portrait. 
 Most of my father's manuscripts I burnt. 
 His pictures were left to be sold with all else. 
 
 Before Mr. Cart! and bade me good-bye, 
 he gave me a ring out of my mother's 
 jewellery, which he had very thoughtfully 
 bought in for me, and a present of five 
 pounds, to prevent me being quite penni- 
 less for the next few months. So that, 
 after ail, I left my home in better spirits 
 than might have been expected. 
 
 The first difficulty over, I must try to 
 meet others heroically, and make my own 
 way in the world. 
 
 By ten o'clock on the Tuesday morning, 
 the carrier's cart came for the things. 
 Peggy was already at Upholland ; she 
 had spent the previous day there. I had 
 never been inside yet. 
 
 Leaving John to see after the things, I
 
 60 A woman's requital. 
 
 walked on, and shed my tears in private. 
 Naturally, I felt sad at leaving my home, 
 but not depressed. Eeason told me I had 
 little to fear, if I exerted myself; that 
 few had started fairer than I. I was 
 young, the possessor of ability, health, and 
 a good stout heart. 
 
 At first I might be stinted, but per- 
 severance and merit would rapidly tide 
 me over such reasonable obstacles as all 
 new beginners find in their path, and 
 I might in time win a moderate com- 
 petency. 
 
 That was about the extent of my ambi- 
 tion. To live a peaceful life, and die 
 beholden to no one. 
 
 The birds caroled gaily as I mounted 
 the hill, leaving the village below, and the 
 old church on my left. Upholland 
 stood on the crest of the hill, the only
 
 A woman's requital. 61 
 
 house. Down in the other hollow was 
 Danver, the smoke from its chimneys 
 creating a mist on a very fine day. I had 
 never been there ; it was spoken of as a 
 thriving, populous town, employing many 
 hands in a lace factory. Some of the 
 villagers walked there on Saturdays, by 
 the meadow-path which was at the bottom 
 of the slope. 
 
 I strained my eyes in the direction of 
 the town, as I stood before my new home. 
 I determined to make myself acquainted 
 with its teaching resources at no late 
 period. 
 
 My heart warmed to the quaint house 
 with its gables and deep windows. I 
 lingered a moment by the gate. The scent 
 from the orchard was delicious, where rows 
 and rows of fruit-trees stood in various 
 stages of bloom.
 
 62 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 
 
 Round one end of the house was a pear- 
 tree, its long branches stretching right 
 across in friendly greeting towards the 
 westeria, that, like all of its kind, evinced 
 greedy propensities, and threw out arms 
 in every direction. 
 
 The patch of garden in front betrayed 
 treasures of many years' growth. There 
 were quantities of wall-flowers, trees of 
 lavender, clumps of daffodils, crocuses, 
 patches of white that, when approached, 
 turned out to be snowdrops thickly 
 clustered together. 
 
 I recollected how in summer this garden 
 had enchanted me with its wealth of 
 flowers. How I had clung to the gate 
 and longed for some of the big creamy and 
 ruby roses that drooped in the hot sun- 
 shine, and how Gerard had pulled me 
 away, and reminded me of the flowers at
 
 A woman's requital. 63 
 
 home. True, there were flowers at home, 
 but none to equal these that bloomed on 
 the hill-top, and caught every freshening 
 breeze, every gleam of sunlight. 
 
 And here it was decreed I should live, 
 for how long I knew not, or with what 
 result. 
 
 Could I but have known, could the 
 angel that watched over the flowers in the 
 garden but have whispered to me of my 
 fate, I would have passed on without 
 regret, further from home and all who 
 knew me, but nearer to — Peace. 
 
 1 could hear Peggy busy in the interioi. 
 A fire burned in the room to the left. A 
 few quick steps brought me to the porch, 
 a push at the heavy door, and I was inside. 
 
 Here I again paused, as I must ask you 
 to do, reader, while I try to describe the 
 house.
 
 64 A woman's requital. 
 
 A round space of no mean extent was 
 entered upon from the door — it might be 
 termed hall, or general room. A fireplace 
 to the left, a wide hearth — protected by a 
 high brass- bound guard — and doors at 
 various points led into the other portions 
 of the house. The staircase was fixed in a 
 corner between two thick walls, and a 
 window behind the door, with a seat and 
 cushion, looked into the garden. It was 
 tiled throughout, and the queerly-shaped 
 chairs and a table — all black varnish — gave 
 this place a warm, comfortable aspect, de- 
 cidedly pleasing. 
 
 In the room where the blaze flickered so 
 merrily I found Peggy on her hands and 
 knees. 
 
 *' Don't disturb yourself, Peggy ; I 
 thought I would come on and help you." 
 
 *' There is little for anyone to do, Miss
 
 A woman's requital. 65 
 
 Grace. Them Martins were clean folks — 
 I'll say that for them. But I am glad you 
 are come, for I was not knowing what to 
 do. What do you say for this as your 
 sitting-room V 
 
 I looked round. 
 
 It was a long room with a large window, 
 varnished floor, high wainscoting, and 
 varnished oak paper. Cupboards filled the 
 recesses, and an enormous hearth gave 
 ample promise of warmth. A table and 
 some straight - backed chairs constituted 
 the furniture. I thoutrht it maornifi- 
 cent. 
 
 " Capital, Peggy ! It only wants one or 
 two things to render it fit for a princess." 
 
 *' That's just what I think, Miss Grace ; 
 and if you have no objection, I advise that 
 John goes back in the market cart and 
 buys you a sofa and easy-chair-— your chair 
 
 VOL. T. 5
 
 66 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 
 
 and the black rug and crimson curtains out 
 of your papa's studio. The things are 
 sure to go cheap ; and if we get some old- 
 fashioned chintz, we can cover the chairs 
 and sofa, and make everything look of a 
 piece." 
 
 To this proposal I readily agreed, and 
 reflected thankfully upon the comfortable 
 home Providence had provided for me. 
 
 I next proceeded to explore the re- 
 mainder of the house. 
 
 The kitchen was large and commodious, 
 looking to the back ; out of it you reached 
 the other offices and dairy. Before going 
 upstairs I locked the doors of the empty 
 rooms downstairs, and placed the keys in 
 the table drawer in the house place. 
 
 I should in all probability never use 
 those big cold rooms, and once in a way 
 they could be swept out and aired. Mean-
 
 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 67 
 
 while the rats and spiders might hold their 
 court there, as of yore. 
 
 The sleeping-chambers were good-sized, 
 airy, and dry, and furnished in the heavy, 
 lumbering style of early days. Many of 
 the things were out of repair, but Peggy 
 and I with our needles, and John with his 
 hammer and glue-pot, would speedily work 
 a reform. 
 
 Tucking up my sleeves, and donning 
 Peggy's apron, I set to work and cleaned 
 the windows and furniture. 
 
 When the things arrived, they had onl}^ 
 to be put into their places. 
 
 John, furnished with money, departed 
 again immediately, and Peggy and I em- 
 ployed the interval in liberating the 
 feathered family, and introducing them to 
 their new abode. 
 
 John was no length of time absent, and 
 
 5—2
 
 6S A woman's kequital. 
 
 returned with the articles required, and 
 the information that the sale was progress- 
 ing tolerably well. 
 
 Holland is not a speculating place, 
 and the village people are constant and 
 steady - going, but neither envious nor 
 ambitious. Moreover the things in our 
 house were all worn and subdued in colour, 
 not calculated to impress country folk with 
 any degree of — what they so dearly adore 
 — smartness. The additional furniture just 
 made the necessary alteration in the room, 
 and I decided that very soon I would have 
 a day at Danver and buy the chintz. 
 
 By dusk all was complete, and, as Peggy 
 affirmed, we might have been there years.
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 " A woman who is never spoken of is praised the 
 most." 
 
 The first evening in my new home was a 
 strange one. Countless schemes flitted 
 across my brain as I paced the room in 
 the firelight, sometimes stopping to look 
 into the darkness outside. Fantastic 
 shapes, weird shadows, the offspring of 
 my imagination, aided by the light from 
 the blazing logs, seemed to rise out of the 
 dark corners and beckon to me. 
 
 I stayed to think. Never, very pro- 
 bably, had the old house sheltered such a 
 being before. A woman so young, friend-
 
 70 A woman's requital. 
 
 less, and poor. I felt that people might 
 hesitate to trust me, to credit me with 
 every virtue ; they would glance suspici- 
 ously at my shabby clothes and darned 
 gloves. 
 
 A lonely woman half implies something 
 worthless. Some may know that here and 
 there a solitary deserted life is the ordering 
 of Providence, and not the result of ini- 
 quity ; others neither know nor care, but 
 under the garb of divinity throw pious 
 stones, which nearly always hit the mark 
 aimed at — m ore's the pity ! 
 
 I marched to and fro, I faced my position 
 at every angle, and I resolved to make 
 people, all and each, respect me. Resolu- 
 tion braced me, nerved my courage, and I 
 smiled at my cowardly thoughts. They 
 had all come about through watching the 
 shadows in the corners.
 
 A woman's requital. 71 
 
 Quickly I drew the curtain, got my 
 desk, and wrota a letter to Mr. Cartland, 
 giving an account of the moving and 
 settlement at Upholland. This done, I 
 drew up an advertisement for the Danver 
 News to this effect : 
 
 " A lady is qualified to give instruction 
 in music, piano and violin. — G. S., Up- 
 holland Farm." 
 
 Now I felt a step nearer my object, and 
 retired to rest. With the birds T w^as 
 awake and up. Peggy had just got the 
 fire lighted, so I undertook to cream the 
 milk for her, and put the cans ready for 
 Frank to take down to the Manor. 
 
 I liked the work ; the pans of rich 
 cream invited me to drink, but I refrained 
 until breakfast should be ready. 
 
 My next duty was to feed the fowls, 
 and make a tour of the place under John's
 
 72 A woman's requital. 
 
 guidance. The farm-men gaped at me, 
 and the barn-cats flew helter-skelter into 
 their holes. 
 
 " They'll soon get used to you, Miss 
 Grace," said John, apologetically. 
 
 I did not know whether he meant the 
 men or the cats. Perhaps he feared the 
 men might put me out of countenance. 
 He did not know that self-possession 
 comes to some women very early, and that 
 modesty and bashfulness are not necessarily 
 one and the same. A calm dignity of 
 manner is a birthright, and the absence of 
 blushes betokens no neutrality. 
 
 I judged it as well to make my presence 
 known then at once, and to go amongst 
 them. 
 
 ''Yes," I replied, "and won't it be nice 
 when the chickens come, and harvest-time 
 is on, John ?"
 
 A woman's requital. 73 
 
 I knew I should like this farm-life ; the 
 constant growth, the activity, the visible 
 result of labour, all suited me. To be a 
 farmer, a bread-provider, is a noble calling, 
 requiring intelligence and keen observation. 
 Not quite enough is thought of this life. 
 Towns, with their excitements and more 
 elegant ways, are preferred by people. 
 But if anything will elevate a man or 
 w^oman, and teach them patience and 
 reverence, it is living in the midst of God's 
 works where man's hand has not meddled 
 or marred. 
 
 '^Are you to have the entire manage- 
 ment, John V 
 
 "No, Miss Grace. Mr. Lovering is 
 reckoned a good hand at it^ and he took 
 the first prize last year for the best farm. 
 I shall carry out his directions." 
 
 I made answer, '^ Oh !"
 
 74 A woman's requital. 
 
 J had never seen Mr. Levering, and felt 
 no interest in him. I supposed he was a 
 " swell," who rode over his farm on a small 
 cob, and went shooting with three keepers 
 in attendance. I wondered whether he 
 would expect me to curtsey to him when 
 we met. 
 
 A quantity of machinery attracted 
 my attention. I remarked upon it, and 
 was informed Mr. Lovering had all the 
 newest implements. There was an abund- 
 ance of everything, and all looked flourish- 
 ing, denoting that the hand on the helm 
 was steady and strong. 
 
 It had not the prim, cramped appearance 
 of a model farm — the gentleman's toy — it 
 smacked of the homestead deliciously, 
 and excellently pleased I re-entered the 
 house. 
 
 Breakfast was ready, and with the
 
 A woman's requital. 75 
 
 window propped open, that I might not 
 lose one whiff of the fresh April air, I ate 
 mine. 
 
 I was in a hurry to be off, for I intended 
 exploring Danver that day. By nine 
 I was ready to start, and obtained directions 
 as to the road from John. In my pocket 
 reposed letter and advertisement. The 
 walk was charming, through fields covered 
 with daisies and buttercups. Many lambs 
 frolicked by their mothers, and a running 
 stream kept me company all the way, and 
 finally assisted at the working of the lace 
 factory. It took me an hour sharp walking. 
 The town-clock struck ten as my feet 
 rested on the bridge. Crossing it, I 
 enierged into High Street, the principal 
 thoroughfare of Danver. Here the shops 
 were excellent, supported by the county 
 families and rich commoners, whose man-
 
 76 A woman's requital. 
 
 sions stood in most pretentious attitudes 
 on the outskirts of the town. 
 
 I hesitated for a second, and then 
 entered the lai^gest drapery establishment. 
 The young men were idling about ; the 
 elite would not shop before luncheon. 
 One animal was polite enough to cease in 
 the midst of the refined practice of picking 
 his teeth, to inquire what I wanted. 
 
 When he heard it was chintz, he almost 
 swallowed the tooth-pick in consternation, 
 and in a faint voice ordered ** Jones *' 
 forward. Jones strained his neck out of 
 his paper collar and nearly split his ill- 
 fitting coat in reaching down some rolls. 
 
 I selected one, black ground with 
 poppies, marguerites, roses, birds, clustered 
 thickly over it. Jones informed me con- 
 descendingly that it was an extremely old- 
 fashioned pattern, not considered genteel
 
 A woman's requital. 77 
 
 now. It had been ordered expressly for 
 Lady Warren's Fancy Dress Ball by Miss 
 Newstead, and they had only twelve yards 
 left. 
 
 I concluded he took me for some newly- 
 imported lady's-maid, and unaccustomed 
 to the eleo^ant tastes of Danver. 
 
 Ignoring his good intentions, I told him 
 to make it into a parcel, that it would be 
 sufficient for what I required. 
 
 " And where shall I send it to 1" 
 
 '' Nowhere ; you shall give it to 
 me." 
 
 I heard a snigger behind me, and noticed 
 that my young man's face was a match for 
 the poppies. 
 
 My parcel in my hand, I walked out and 
 searched for a confectioner s, where I could 
 get a glass of milk and some informa- 
 tion.
 
 A woman's requital. 
 
 I found one opposite the pump ; and 
 behind the counter a civil person. Re- 
 heved to find I had not to deal with 
 insolence, I ventured to talk, and soon 
 knew the whereabouts of the News 
 office. 
 
 I thought it expedient to make my 
 profession known to her, and in return 
 she informed me there was only one 
 teacher of any note in Danver, and he 
 was getting very aged. 
 
 This was cheering, and I left my ad- 
 dress, so that she could communicate with 
 me if she heard of any pupils. As 1 
 walked on I reflected that if my aristo- 
 cratic, diffident father knew^ I had been 
 talking amicably with a person in a shop, 
 and seeking employment openly, he might 
 be grieved. 
 
 Unnatural it may seem, but I experi-
 
 A woman's requital. 79 
 
 enced no remorse, even supposing him to 
 be aware of my doings. Since lie could 
 selfishly fritter his means and life away — 
 tranquilly compose himself and die, leav- 
 inof me to make the best stand I could 
 against the world, and obliging me to 
 fight, I considered that the choice of 
 weapons was left to myself. 
 
 Had I possessed anyone whom I could 
 have sheltered myself behind, I very pro- 
 bably should have done it ; but the only 
 two who cared anything for me were 
 Peggy and John, and to be beholding to 
 them for all the needs of life, or accept 
 my lot as a dairy- maid, was quite out of 
 the question. 
 
 Without much trouble I found the 
 paper office, and paid for the insertion 
 of the advertisement for a week. It was 
 now half-past eleven, and having transacted
 
 80 A woman's requital. 
 
 all my business I turned my steps home- 
 wards. 
 
 I did not walk so quickly back, and it 
 was one o'clock when I arrived at Up- 
 holland.
 
 CHAPTEE X. 
 
 *' Man-like is it to fall into sin, 
 Fiend- like is it to dwell therein, 
 Christ-like is it for sin to grieve, 
 God-like is it all sin to leave." 
 
 Dinner was over ; but Peggy had some in 
 the oven for me. 
 
 ', I'll eat it here, Peggy, and at the same 
 time talk to you; no one is likely to come in." 
 
 " No, Miss Grace. Ill set the table in 
 yonder window, if you like ? All the men 
 are at work, and John has gone down to 
 see the sheep, with the master." 
 
 " Mr. Lovering has been here ?" 
 
 VOL. I. 6
 
 82 A woman's requital. 
 
 ''Yes. You had not been gone ten 
 minutes when he came in." 
 
 " Did you meet him. Miss Grace ?" 
 
 " No. I never met a creature until I 
 got to the bridge at Danver, and there I 
 met a clergyman." 
 
 Peggy burst out laughing, 
 
 *' He's no clergyman, isn't the master. 
 He comes out with good round oaths when 
 things don't work to suit him." 
 
 For the want of something better to say, 
 I asked : " Is Mr. Lovering old ? and what 
 family is there V 
 
 " Old ! He is about forty-two, and a 
 bachelor. They're one of the oldest and 
 biggest families hereabouts. They are all 
 dead, married, or lost, now, but three : 
 Mr. Lovering, and Miss Naomi, and Miss 
 Miriam. They live together at the 
 Manor."
 
 A woman's requital. 83 
 
 **Dull for Miss Naomi and Miriam, shut 
 up with an elderly brother." 
 
 " Why, he is the youngest by many a 
 year. Miss Naomi and Miriam are twins, 
 and the Urst born. Mr. William is one of 
 the youngest and best." 
 
 '•Best !" T repeated. 
 
 ** Well, the Loverings are called a wild, 
 bad lot by many people ; and this one was 
 a fine rover at one time. Though he has 
 been steadier these last ten or twelve years, 
 people haven't forgot what he once was, 
 Miss Grace." 
 
 " Is he pleasant-mannered, Peggy ?" 
 
 '' To some people very, and to others a 
 — beast, begging your pardon, missie." 
 
 ** Where do they go to church T was my 
 next question ?" 
 
 " Holland. Mr. Levering goes seldom ; 
 and the Manor pew was not in sight 
 
 6—2
 
 84 A woman's requital. 
 
 of yours. He did not ask for you, Miss 
 Grace ; but I noticed him looking and 
 listening all the time he was giving me 
 orders about the dairy." 
 
 ** How gratifying !" 1 remarked. 
 
 I was tired of the topic, and unwilling 
 that it should be prolonged. 
 
 Peggy's mention of church reminded me 
 that I had no longer a pew there. Not a 
 particle of regret did it cause me. Never 
 was anyone less inclined for public worship 
 than I. 
 
 My experience of the ministry was 
 limited to one of the most unpopular of 
 men. I do not wish to say he was not a 
 good man, but he lacked zeal and power of 
 expression. A prayer from his lips lost 
 all fervency, and a nursery rhyme would 
 have moved me as much. 
 
 My father did without anyone's inter-
 
 A woman's requital. 85 
 
 cession, save mine. We said the Lord's 
 Prayer together, and the Amen stole his 
 hist breath av/ay, T never heard that my 
 mother was prayed for, and I know no 
 one came to nurse. When in trouble I had 
 not sent for Mr. Duckworth. 
 
 The kind old doctor had clapped me 
 encouragingly on the back when he left me 
 in the house with my dead ; and there 
 sympathy with outsiders ended. 
 
 My life promised to be too energetic to 
 tind appreciation in their apathetic natures. 
 Holland and I had parted company. 
 
 Peggy's voice lifted in song told me her 
 whereabouts, and I followed. I had much 
 to arrange with the worthy dame. 
 
 *' You look all the better for your 
 dinner. Miss Grace. John was saying to- 
 day that we must mind and feed you well, 
 and not let you eat as we do."
 
 86 A woman's requital. 
 
 '* You are to do nothing of the kind, 
 Peggy. I will have no difference made 
 until I am in a position to pay more. 
 And now I have a fancy to be useful, and 
 Avill help you with the poultry and dairy. 
 My time is at present unoccupied, and I 
 shall attend to the milk night and morning, 
 and make the butter." 
 
 *' You dairymaid, Miss Grace !" 
 
 " Why not ? Labour is no disgrace, 
 especially when it is necessary. Peggy, I 
 oriust work. I am not going to be a re- 
 proach to my father's memory by betray- 
 ing how poor he left his only child. I 
 hope and believe I shall obtain pupils, and 
 earn sufficient for my simple wants. If I 
 cannot do that here I shall go else- 
 where." 
 
 '* You'll get them fast enough. Miss 
 Grace, never fear. You are one of the
 
 A woman's requital. 87 
 
 real workers, you are. You would always 
 be doino^ somethinor when a child. Little 
 I thouo^ht thinsrs would have come to this. 
 But we won't complain. You set me and 
 my old man a good example. John says 
 you hearten him up." 
 
 I laughed, and very well pleased, left 
 Peggy. No compliment couched in the 
 most graceful terms could have aflforded 
 me sincerer pleasure. 
 
 To make the two old creatures happy 
 about me was my first desire ; to relieve 
 them of all sense of responsibility I knew 
 was in a manner my duty. 
 
 They grudged nothing for me ; they 
 would have fed me with their last mouth- 
 ful. Could any display of courage or 
 cheerfulness repay such noble devotion ? 
 Scarcely.
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 " Set not too high a value on your own abilities." 
 
 With Peggy's help the chintz was cut and 
 sewn, and my room presented as good 
 an appearance as I could desire. My 
 advertisement had elicited no reply as yet ; 
 but then it had only been in four days. I 
 had two more, and who could foretell what 
 they might bring forth ? It is frequently 
 the case, relief comes at the ninth 
 hour. 
 
 May was just out, spring had set in, and 
 the maple tree was a mass of blossom. 
 Beneath its shade was a tiny calf, put
 
 A woman's requital. 89 
 
 there by John to take its first airing in 
 sight of the dairy-door. 
 
 I felt drawn to tliat calf ; it had cost its 
 mother her life, as I did mine. When it 
 lowed more than usual I went out and 
 comforted it, kissed its hard red head, and 
 called it " Suckie, suckie." 
 
 I was standing there, half covered with 
 maple blossoms, when I heard a footfall 
 on the stones, and looking out, spied the 
 postman. The letter was for me. An 
 answer to my advertisement. 
 
 Little information could I extract from 
 the epistle, for it simply stated that Mrs. 
 Winter, of the Red House, Danver, would 
 like to see G. S. before twelve the follow- 
 ing day. 
 
 Not a word did I say to Peggy, feeling 
 by no means sure it might not end in dis- 
 appointment.
 
 90 A woman's requital. 
 
 The mornino^ was fine and rather windv, 
 scattering the blossom alon^ the road, 
 and blowing sweet scents from far-off 
 gardens. 
 
 Danver reached, I inquired for the Red 
 House, and found it. 
 
 Mrs. Winter was at home, the butler 
 said, and I awaited her appearance in the 
 elaborate drawing-room. I had time to 
 make a nice calculation as to the cost of 
 everything therein, and how long each 
 would suffice to maintain me in ease and 
 affluence. Then followed the well-worn 
 regret that money should be so unequally 
 divided, and the comforting assurance that 
 *' It is easier for a camel to go through the 
 eye of a needle than for a rich man to 
 enter the kingdom of heaven." 
 
 A rustle caused me to turn. Mrs. 
 Winter was behind me. One glance was
 
 A woman's requital. 91 
 
 sufficient to tell me we were not of the 
 same order. 
 
 She was stout, tolerably good-looking, 
 and unquestionably crafty. Her greedy 
 eyes appraised my garments instantly. 
 Inexpensive they were, but neatly made, 
 and well w^orn. 
 
 I could tell what was passing through 
 her mind. Would I be likely to accept 
 her terms, or insist upon my own ? 
 
 With many smiles she explained to me 
 that it was for her step-daughter a musical 
 governess was required. They wished to 
 perfect a visible talent, and have her 
 taught three days a week for two hours. 
 To what end ? That, when old enough, 
 she might be pushed out into the world to 
 earn her own living, and leave more for 
 the little cherubs this woman would intro- 
 duce into the household.
 
 92 A woman's requital. 
 
 She asked me to play. I did so. Then 
 to sing. I complied. 
 
 Yes, she was perfectly satisfied, and 
 what were my terms ? 
 
 I stated them, fixing a reasonable sum, 
 and requesting her influence to procure 
 more pupils. 
 
 Very graciously she assented, and I 
 pledged myself to be there every Monday, 
 Wednesday, and Friday by ten o'clock. 
 
 My feet scarcely touched the ground 
 going home. I rejoiced thoroughly. The 
 news caused Peggy again to declare her 
 firm opinion that I should do well, and 
 afterwards to consider what a tax it would 
 be upon my health during the bad 
 weather. 
 
 "Peggy," I called one afternoon, 
 -Peggy!" 
 
 No answer.
 
 A woman's requital. 93 
 
 Dropping my work, I went in search of 
 her, and, reaching the kitchen, heard her 
 voice in hio^h altercation with some one in a 
 shed across the yard. 
 
 I needed her, and so I followed. 
 
 There stood Peggy, angry, flushed, a 
 teapot with a lump of sponge to its spout 
 hanging in one hand, and dribbling a 
 stream of liquid on to the floor. 
 
 " It's just a peck of rubbish, John, try- 
 ing to rear these things ; there's more 
 time and milk wasted than they are worth. 
 They may as well die now, for that's 
 what they are bent upon doing in the long- 
 run." 
 
 Pressing close up to them, I saw three 
 tiny lambs lying on some straw in the 
 corner. 
 
 " What are they ?" I inquired. 
 
 '* We call them hog-lambs, Miss Grace,''
 
 94 A wOxMAn's requital. 
 
 replied John. ^' Their dam is dead, and I 
 want to keep them aHve if possible. But 
 they're a goodish bit of trouble, and Peggy, 
 here, does not seem to like it." 
 
 " Nay, nay, John, it's not the trouble, 
 though there's a good bit of that ; but I 
 have no time to bother after such- 
 like." 
 
 " Let me take them in hand," I cried. 
 *' If I can rear them so much the 
 better." 
 
 '' But they are Mr. Lovering's lambs. 
 Miss Grace," said Peggy, " and I don't see 
 what call you have to bother after his 
 things." 
 
 *'Not the very least bit in the world, 
 my good woman. 1 am actuated by a de- 
 sire to keep the poor things alive now they 
 are in the world, not partiality towards 
 the owner, whom, to my knowledge, I
 
 A woman's requital. 95 
 
 have never seen. What becomes of the 
 sheep ? Sold ?" 
 
 '* Yes, to butchers. They are going 
 soon ; the master told me he did not in- 
 tend to keep so many. It is just a pity 
 these three can't be got up to killing 
 size." 
 
 " Well, console yourself, John, I am 
 going to try. Mr. Lovering cannot object 
 since it will put more money into his 
 pocket, and that is what people mostly 
 care about." 
 
 " Quite correct," laughed a voice from 
 behind. 
 
 I turned, and quickly perceived by the 
 abashed countenances of Peggy and John 
 that it was the master. 
 
 I am not naturally bashful, and not 
 beinof cauo:ht at a disadvantao^e, I did not 
 feel ashamed, but rather amused.
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 " Well, I see you are the master of the house ; 
 I will accommodate myself to you." 
 
 Fear not, reader ; I am not going into a 
 lengthy description of Mr. Lovering. He 
 would not repay either me for the trouble 
 of writing, or you for the reading. Any 
 day in the week you may meet a much 
 better-looking person. 
 
 He is just a well-formed, strong man of 
 about forty, more intelligent than beauti- 
 ful. 
 
 " Do you mind ?" I asked, having my 
 object uppermost in my brain.
 
 A woman's requital. 97 
 
 " Mind what ?" he questioned, lifting 
 his hat in good style, and looking at me 
 intently. 
 
 " If I try to rear these lambs V 
 " No. You may try and welcome, upon 
 one condition." 
 " What is that V 
 
 " That you sell them for your own 
 benefit." 
 
 '^ I cannot do that." 
 " And why not ?" 
 
 " Because they must be fed on your 
 milk, and it does not suit me to be indebted 
 to you, Mr. Levering." 
 
 *' Indeed I You are independent, and I 
 am not sure that I don't like you all the 
 better for it. But that difficulty can 
 easily be remedied. Miss Sharland. Give 
 me one lamb for the keep of the other 
 two." 
 
 VOL. I. 7
 
 98 A woman's requital. 
 
 This project seemed reasonable, and I 
 acquiesced. 
 
 Peggy and John had withdrawn, and I 
 hoped my landlord would follow. He did 
 not. Leaning against the doorpost, he 
 eyed me, and watched with malicious 
 delight my fruitless efforts with my new 
 charges. 
 
 They wiggle-waggled their tails and 
 bleated, drink they would not. I won- 
 dered whether they objected to him. I 
 know I did. Moreover I could feel my 
 ears getting rosy. I never did like being 
 watched, especially by grey eyes. A sigh 
 of vexation and irritation escaped me. 
 
 "Are you repenting of your bargain. 
 Miss Sharland V 
 
 " No," retorted I vehemently, " I never 
 repent; particularly after agreeing in a 
 calm moment."
 
 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 99 
 
 " You were perfectly composed when we 
 discussed the subject, then ?" 
 
 '* Certainly." 
 
 *' Nay," he replied, smiling from ear to 
 ear, possessing an enormous mouth, " don't 
 look a challenge at me I I never con- 
 tradict a lady, and I quite thought you 
 were cool. How do you like being here 1" 
 he continued, breaking in upon my struggles 
 with the lambs. 
 
 " Very much. If I did not like it, I 
 should stay all the same, to give it a 
 trial." 
 
 "What do you mean by 'it,* may I 
 inquire V 
 
 " Oh yes, you may ask ; but it is left to 
 me whether I answer." 
 
 " That means you won't answer ?" 
 
 " Nothing of the kind. Just wait till I 
 have conquered this one, then I will talk." 
 
 7—2
 
 100 A woman's requital. 
 
 Two were sucking bravely, and the third, 
 seeing how kindly its relations took to 
 the sponge, proved now willing enough to 
 learn. 
 
 Of the quantity they were to have, I 
 was judge ; and presently chucked the 
 milky sponge out of the eager mouth. 
 
 '' I congratulate you, Miss Sharland. 
 Your perseverance is tremendous. Have 
 you yet christened them V 
 
 "No." 
 
 *' Then let it be done at once. Name 
 them." 
 
 "March, April, May." 
 
 " March, April, May, so be you for ever 
 and aye," said he, and seizing the milk- 
 can, launched the remainder at them. 
 
 His amused countenance, excited manner, 
 puzzled me. His mood was a strange 
 one.
 
 A woman's requital. 101 
 
 " I am waiting for you to speak, Miss 
 Sharland." 
 
 '* Would ycu like to come in and rest, 
 sir V 
 
 "Thank you. Are you comfortable 
 here ?" he questioned, when seated. 
 
 " Quite ; but, as I told you in the shed, 
 I am bound to try it." 
 
 *' Why r 
 
 " For a livinof. I am obliofed to work, 
 and T fancy working here." 
 
 " To be near your friends, I suppose ?" 
 " I have none save Peggy and John. 
 No, that is not the reason, people make 
 little difference to me. It is the place I 
 like." 
 
 " I understand. Some day you will 
 change, and a person will make all the 
 difference to you. Meanwhile you are 
 trying how you can amass a fortune ?"
 
 102 A woman's requital. 
 
 " I am trying how I can save myself 
 the misery of taking a situation as gover- 
 ness in some upstart's house. I have a 
 horror of it I" 
 
 " So have I — for you." 
 
 "What do you know about me, Mr. 
 Lovering T 
 
 ^' Little — very little ; but enough to 
 enable me to decide that the position of a 
 menial in a stranger's house would never 
 suit you." 
 
 I made no reply. I was not quite 
 pleased that a stranger should so easily 
 discover my weak point — the one loose 
 joint in the armour. The knowledge of 
 it had fretted me not a little. I looked 
 upon it as a misfortune, for it narrowed 
 my sphere of action considerably. 
 
 I could not live with strangers and keep 
 in health. The daily labour for so many
 
 A woman's requital. 103 
 
 hours cost me no effort, I knew when the 
 release came. But protract that time, 
 unite the nights to the days, and my 
 spirits flagged, my courage failed. Freedom, 
 liberty of thought and action, I must have, 
 if I would keep sane. 
 
 '' And how are you getting on, Miss 
 Sharland ?" 
 
 " Excellently, so far. I am satisfied 
 and thankful. That hideous monster, 
 ' Want,' is receding before my efi'orts, 
 and in its stead comes gentle Prosperity." 
 
 " Is it rude to ask where you go, and 
 what you do, when you march off in the 
 direction of Danver V 
 
 I laughed. 
 
 " How stupid of me ! I forgot it was 
 all Dutch to you, Mr. Lovering. I am 
 so used to living with people who know 
 all about me, that explanation is quite
 
 104 A woman's requital. 
 
 unnecessary, hence my omission. I teach 
 music, piano and violin. I have an en- 
 gagement three mornings a week at Mrs. 
 Winter's, and I have two other pupils of 
 inferior grade for the afternoons. They 
 do not pay so much as Miss Winter, but 
 every Httle helps, and I am determined 
 to get pupils anywhere I can. I must 
 and will succeed I" 
 
 " I believe you," he replied, with spark- 
 ling eyes. ** Keep up your courage, Miss 
 Sharland ; you ivill succeed I"
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 " Lutheran, Popish, Calvinistic, all these creeds and 
 doctrines three 
 Extant are; but still the doubt is, where Chris- 
 tianity may be." 
 
 So ended my first interview with Mr. 
 Lovering. 
 
 I watched him walk down the road, a 
 pleasant smile still hovering round his 
 mouth, his great, square shoulders rising 
 above hedo:es that seemed well enough 
 grown themselves. He was a fine man, 
 muscular, not fleshy ; when younger, very 
 active; and even now retaining in a remark-
 
 106 A woman's requital. 
 
 able degree that elasticity one rarely sees 
 in a man above thirty. 
 
 The affability of the master made an 
 extraordinary impression upon John and 
 Peggy, and when, being at a loss to ac- 
 count for their state of mind, I instituted 
 a cautious inquiry, I found that he was 
 voted the reverse of pleasant-mannered 
 as a rule. 
 
 My lambs came on with the summer. 
 They throve apace, and frolicked amongst 
 the daisies in capital health and spirits. 
 My plans had turned out successful ; if 
 only my actual labour proved as satis- 
 factory, little cause could I ever have for 
 complaint. 
 
 Into Holland I had never been since I 
 left it. I had stayed away from church, 
 and no one had taken the trouble to 
 inquire the cause. Once Mrs. Duckworth
 
 A woman's requital. 107 
 
 had called, and then her amazement had 
 so exceeded .the bounds of Christianity 
 and politeness that I was disgusted. 
 
 My appearance astonished her. She 
 had no idea I was so comfortable. Could 
 not have supposed the house contained a 
 room so spacious. Her lynx-eyes fastened 
 themselves upon my face, as if to read 
 there my present life, my means of exist- 
 ence, my possible future. I concluded she 
 was satisfied, for she asked me to call, 
 and murmured something about Amy and 
 Alice, whom she had prudently left in the 
 lane while she came to reconnoitre. 
 
 My heart warmed to that noble woman, 
 my joy moved me so that I laughed when 
 I recollected the chilly clasp of her hand, 
 the suspicion that lurked in her eye, the 
 encouragement she had given, the comfort 
 she had left me. A beggarly tract, an in-
 
 108 A woman's requital. 
 
 suit in itself — the history of a girl, lost, 
 betrayed, who had lived accursed and died 
 unforgiven. 
 
 Fair prophetess ! did she fancy in the 
 purity of her imagination that she saw a 
 finger beckoning me downwards to hell ? 
 Did she flatter herself that '^ Strayed from 
 the Fold " would arrest my progress by its 
 indecent disclosures and horrible predic- 
 tions ? 
 Possibly. 
 
 It is to be regretted she did not return 
 another day, she might have noticed a ball 
 of paper lying in the dusty road. 
 
 No bread is so sweet as that worked for; 
 no food nourishes like that earned by daily 
 patient labour. The business of life brings 
 its own joys and reward, 
 
 I began to understand this. My health 
 was perfect, my spirits equal; an unceasing
 
 A woman's requital. 109 
 
 source of contentment dwelt in my heart, 
 and diffused happiness through my Ufe. 
 Something had been given unto me that no 
 change in the weather, no person had 
 power to take from me. As Hght-hearted 
 as the birds that sang above my head, I 
 traversed the fields and lanes, fresh ideas, 
 fresh hopes contentedly flowing from the 
 well of happiness in my heart. 
 
 My pupils came on, my income increased; 
 friendly nods, kindly words, were vouch- 
 safed to me from doorways and passers-by. 
 Trifles to those surrounded by relations, 
 and sheltered by loving arms ; enormities 
 to one alone, unknown, struggling up a 
 rocky path. 
 
 Hay-time had come. 
 
 Men toiled in the hot meadows all day 
 
 ong, tossing the scented herbage lightly, 
 
 and wafting its odour into the wind. My
 
 110 A woman's requital. 
 
 road lay right amongst the harvest-land, 
 acres of waving grain bursting into ear 
 and promising full granaries when the 
 time should come. Fields of beans in 
 flower, with myriads of tiny birds dwelling 
 therein, and waging hot warfare with the 
 grubs. 
 
 Hot, shadeless, scarcely bearable, but 
 for the running stream, clear and cool, 
 abounding in stones, moss-covered and 
 soft, where one could sit and feel the 
 delicious refreshment of flowing water 
 over fevered, blistered feet.
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 •* Through the closed blinds the golden sun 
 Poured in a dusty beam, 
 Like the celestial ladder seen 
 By Jacob in his dream." 
 
 It is half-pasfc three. One panting, 
 parched dog is lying against the pump in 
 High Street, silently beseeching water. 
 No one responds ; no one sees the dumb 
 thing's need ; no one is out. 
 
 The sun-blinds are closely drawn over 
 the shop-windows, and a few imprisoned 
 larks, with brown sods in their tiny cages, 
 beat their wings in misery at the bars, and
 
 H2 A woman's requital. 
 
 crave liberty. Their plumage is ruffled, 
 their throats thicken and throb as they 
 shriek out their anguish, and their gaolers 
 call it a song, and think it is for joy they 
 do it. 
 
 One belongs to the chemist, and lives in 
 the balcony beside a dwarf fir-tree, that 
 had figured at a Christmas-party so effec- 
 tively loaded with presents. Another is 
 the property of the draper's son, who is 
 at present stretched comfortably full length 
 on the sofa inside, listening to the rapturous 
 utterings of a creature God made only to 
 sing in freedom. 
 
 I cannot reach the birds, but I can the 
 dog. 
 
 My cashmere boots are white with dust, 
 my calico gown hangs over my arm, my 
 hat shelters my face. I am sick and tired, 
 and the great iron pump-handle is wonder- 
 
 I
 
 A woman's requital. 113 
 
 fully weighty. The dog looks eagerly into 
 my face as the tiny stream — owing to my 
 weakness — trickles into the tin dish below. 
 Suddenly a hand is laid on the handle — 
 higher than mine — and up and down it 
 goes, while the water gushes out and runs 
 over into the dusty street. 
 
 It is a strong brown hand, not perfectly 
 clean, any more than the cuff that appears 
 below the brown coat-sleeve. This colour 
 appeals to my eye in a friendly manner, 
 and tilting up my hat I look into the ugly 
 amused face of Mr. Lovering. 
 
 He bursts out laughing. 
 
 " What are you laughing at ?" I inquire 
 tartly. The heat had not improved my 
 temper. 
 
 *' You," he replied shortly, and in no- 
 wise abashed. 
 
 *' Then I fancy you might find a more 
 
 VOL. L 8
 
 114 A woman's requital. 
 
 fitting object to laugh at than a fellow- 
 creature in a state of utter weariness, with 
 the blood beating in her brain like a 
 hammer. Can you find n^e the ladle, that 
 I may drink ?" 
 
 *' No. Come with me.'' 
 
 I drew back. His hand grasped my 
 arm, and I found I was being drawn along 
 the shady side of the street. 
 
 ^*Mr. Levering, where are you taking 
 me?" 
 
 "Where you may have a drink, Miss 
 Sharland." 
 
 It never occurred to me to resist. I 
 liked the firm pressure of his hand — it in- 
 fused new vigour, confidence, into my feeble 
 heart. I liked the quiet tone of command 
 that became him so well. 
 
 '* Mind the steps." 
 
 I lifted my tired feet obedient to the
 
 A woman's requital. 115 
 
 bidding, and, helped considerably by the 
 guiding hand, succeeded in mounting safely 
 the twelve steps up to the old-fashioned 
 Cock and Trumpet Inn. 
 
 The room was cool, and darkened by 
 green' blinds. I sank gratefully enough 
 into a chair, and heard indistinctly Mr. 
 Lovering's voice talking to somebody. It 
 seemed like a dream. Two seconds ago 
 I was struggling along the street in the 
 broiling sun, now I am sitting at ease in 
 
 I the shade. 
 
 " I came in the nick of time, Miss 
 Sharland." 
 
 II I looked up and smiled. I felt ashamed 
 of my late petulance. 
 
 y " In time for what, sir V 
 
 I " Never mind now ; I see you are better 
 
 'already. Drink this." 
 
 It was something sparkHng and sharp, 
 y 8—2
 
 116 A woman's requital. 
 
 with lumps of ice floating in it. My ex- 
 perience of wines was too limited to enable 
 me to give it a name ; but I drank of jit 
 thankfully. 
 
 I revived. The beverage cooled, allayed 
 my thirst, and stilled my pulse. I be- 
 thought myself of moving on. I rose and 
 held out my hand. 
 
 "Good-bye, sir; and thank you very 
 much.'' 
 
 He neither moved nor spoke; just 
 looked at me with his deep grey eyes. I 
 wondered how long he was going to look. 
 
 I repeated my speech. 
 
 " You don't thank me a bit," he retorted, 
 " or you would not be in such a hurry to 
 leave me." 
 
 *' But I have to go home." 
 
 " So have I." 
 
 I waited in perplexity.
 
 A woman's requital. 117 
 
 <^ Go— why don't you ?" 
 *' Because it is unseemly to leave one, 
 who has befriended me, in anger." 
 
 '^ Oh, I am glad to find there is at least 
 one spark of gratitude in your cold heart. 
 Would you mind, Miss Sharland, if I 
 retracted the word ' gratitude,' and substi- 
 tuted for it ' affection ' ?" 
 
 '^ Xo, sir. But I would remind you 
 that the supposed existence of the affection 
 is entirely a surmise of your own." 
 
 " Cool, upon my soul I Then you dortt 
 feel it r 
 
 '' Not in the least." 
 He jumped up, and stamped. 
 "A moment, if you please, Miss Shar- 
 land. Will you explain to me the differ- 
 ence between affection and gratitude. 
 Perhaps you will deny feehng the latter 
 for me 1"
 
 118 A woman's requital. 
 
 *' No ; 1 do feel grateful. You did me 
 a good service, and I tender you the usual 
 payment — thanks. I shall always remem- 
 ber it with gratitude." 
 
 ** While you say that word, how do you 
 feel r 
 
 ** Kindly - disposed towards you — 
 pleased." 
 
 " Then you experience an emotion of 
 the heart — and affection is an emotion of 
 the heart. Miss Sharland, beware of 
 gratitude ; it is a subtle thing. You sow 
 the seed of gratitude, and sooner or 
 later there blooms the flower of — affec- 
 tion." 
 
 " I cannot agree with you, Mr. Lovering. 
 I must repeat, that I am in little danger of 
 entertaining that feeling for you." 
 
 *' Spare my sensibilities, Miss Sharland. 
 Eespect my judgment ; consider my fears.
 
 A woman's requital. 119 
 
 and consequent experience of things in 
 general, humanity in particular." 
 
 " No, sir, I won't promise to respect 
 your judgment before I know whether you 
 are competent to pass it. And your years 
 entitle you to no consideration unless 
 you have used them properly, and pro- 
 fited by the opportunities they afforded 
 
 you." 
 
 *' You are not convinceable, nor ready to 
 adopt untested measures. You are hard 
 of belief, and cautious." 
 
 '' Two excellent assistants towards mak- 
 ing a safe journey through life." 
 
 " I could wish that at your age I had 
 been like you, young lady. My opinion 
 of the matter you repudiate. How are 
 y^ou going to decide it V 
 
 "It will decide me. My own experience 
 will assert your statement to be either the
 
 120 A woman's requital. 
 
 truth or false, so that when I have Hved 
 your length of life I shall have an opinion 
 of my own, and need not be indebted to 
 anyone for theirs." 
 
 " Very good ; perhaps I will ask you to 
 favour me with it some day. You may as 
 well sit down ; I have not told them to put 
 the horses in yet." 
 
 " That signifies little to me. Beggars 
 must walk." 
 
 " To-day you shall ride. Humour me ; 
 it is my wish that you ride. I am an excel- 
 lent whip ; you may in all safety trust that 
 white neck of yours to me." 
 
 It was useless to resist ; besides, it 
 would have been ungracious and prudish 
 to refuse.
 
 CHAPTEK XV. 
 
 " Dream that the golden summer 
 
 In winter hath no part ; 
 Dream that the skies are cloudless, 
 
 And light in every heart ; 
 Dream that the laugh of pleasure 
 
 Has never sigh of pain, 
 But endless is in measure, 
 
 As joys that come again." 
 
 " As you will, this time, Mr. Levering. I 
 am naturally obedient. Moreover, the 
 temptation of getting home without exer- 
 tion is a great one to me." 
 
 *' But you won't get home without 
 exertion. I shall require you to talk —
 
 lS2 A woman's requital. 
 
 talk incessantly, for my benefit and amuse- 
 ment." 
 
 '' Upon what subject, sir ? I am little 
 likely to entertain you." 
 
 *' On the contrary ; you are very likely 
 to do it. I am remarkably entertained 
 now — never was better so in my life. 
 Where have you lived ?' 
 
 " At home in Holland." 
 
 " Who taught you 1" 
 
 " My father ?" 
 
 ^' Umph ! Knew your father. You are 
 not like him, and your opinions are not 
 the reflection of his. What have you 
 read r 
 
 I laughed at the recollection of the 
 queer literature I had digested with such 
 appetite. 
 
 '* Why do you laugh V* 
 
 " Because your question amuses me."
 
 A woman's requital. 123 
 
 " Stop I I see mutiny in your eye. You 
 are not going to anwer it T 
 
 '' I am not." 
 
 " You say to yourself, * He has no right 
 to ask it' ?" 
 
 " I do." 
 
 He turned his back upon me, thrust his 
 hands into his pockets, and began to 
 whistle. 
 
 " I am sorry if I have vexed you," I 
 said presently. 
 
 " Are you ?" 
 
 He darted round, his face beaming won- 
 derfully. His eyes searched mine, and I 
 /^as at that time able to raise them inno- 
 cently enough to his countenance. I con- 
 clude he did not find what he sought 
 therein, for he again treated me to a 
 survey of his broad flat back, with his 
 arms hooked behind his stick in an excel-
 
 124 A woman's requital. 
 
 lent attitude for displaying his breadth of 
 chest. 
 
 At the end of five minutes he inquired 
 in a totally different voice : 
 
 " How are your lambs 1" 
 
 '^ Well, and ready for killing, John says." 
 
 " What are you going to do about 
 them r 
 
 ^' Nay, what are you going to do 1 
 They are yours." 
 
 '' Are they ? Then I shall sell two, and 
 give you one." 
 
 ** Who are you going to find to buy 
 them ?" 
 
 ** A butcher. 1 shall consult John and 
 Peggy; they know all about such things." 
 
 " Do you need the money, Miss Shar- 
 land ?" 
 
 My breath deserted me at such a ques- 
 tion.
 
 A woman's requital. 125 
 
 *' Need the money ! I should think I 
 did." 
 
 " Don't look so indignant. How should 
 I know about your affairs ?" 
 
 " How, indeed I Perhaps my indignation 
 was due to another cause — your asking 
 such a question." 
 
 " I beg your pardon. I will not ask 
 such another, ever again." 
 
 " The carriage is ready," said a smart 
 barmaidp pertly, at the door, eyeing Mr. 
 Lovering with an inquisitive stare that 
 made my heart beat. 
 
 Me she ignored ; possibly knew me as a 
 music governess, and balanced her position 
 to some advantage against mine. 
 
 ** Will you come, Miss Sharland V he 
 said, in a tone so frozen that I glanced into 
 his face to see how much I had hurt 
 him.
 
 126 A woman's requital. 
 
 It was bound up hard and fast ; not a 
 trace of any feeling was discernible. 
 
 I began to dread the drive. 
 
 The carriage proved to be a mail- 
 phaeton. 
 
 " I think I had better help you/' said 
 the master. 
 
 And the next moment I was lifted in 
 like a baby. 
 
 " I could have got in," I remarked, as we 
 dashed down the street. 
 
 " Very likely," came the cold response. 
 " Would you rather have been behind with 
 Joseph ?" 
 
 " You never asked me." 
 
 " No ; because I feared you would say 
 * yes,' and I wanted you here." 
 
 " Pity you sacrificed your manners to 
 your desire, for I would not have sat 
 behind. You told me I was to talk to you."
 
 A woman's requital. 127 
 
 " Did I 1 Then please to go on." 
 
 ** Tell me where you are driving to V 
 
 '' Upholland — presently. Are yqu in a 
 hurry ?" 
 
 "No." 
 
 ^' Are you uncomfortable ?" 
 
 '' No," 
 
 " Nor am I. Things are just now going 
 pleasantly enough with me. How are thpy 
 with you ?" 
 
 " Excellently. I like being here." 
 
 I spoke the truth. It was like a dream, 
 but I was happy and at rest for the time 
 being, though I knew my vision would 
 flee directly I set foot on the ground. 
 Thj.t, however, it did not appear I should 
 do for some little while. 
 
 We flew along, making and meeting the 
 only breath of air I had felt all the hot 
 day. Certainly the dust flew in clouds
 
 128 A woman's requital. 
 
 behind us, and probably annoyed Joseph. 
 I very selfishly determined to make the 
 most of my own rare pleasure and im- 
 portance, mounted aloft beside that bi^, 
 peculiar man, for whom I felt no fear, and 
 considerable interest. 
 
 He, by his own conduct, had excited it. 
 All my life I had never coaxed anyone 
 to go out of their way for my amusement 
 or benefit. This man had troubled himself 
 about me in a fashion novel enough to be 
 charming. 
 
 " Do you know where you are ?" he 
 asked presently, looking down at me. 
 
 "No. I am very ignorant of the country. 
 While papa lived, I never went far, 
 because he could not spare me ; and nurse 
 was not equal to walking any great dis- 
 tance. Now that I am alone, I have no 
 time or inclination."
 
 A woman's requital. 129 
 
 ** You are tired when you get home ?" 
 '' Yery ; sometimes I ache all over." 
 I knew he turned to look at me, a rare 
 pitying glance, and very likely it was 
 deserved. I did look small in my plain 
 calico gown, and my tiny dusty feet swing- 
 ing a quarter of a yard off the floor. 
 
 At the top of a hill he drew up. I 
 was artist enough to derive pleasure from 
 the view that burst upon me. We had 
 been traversing a road deeply wooded on 
 each side, where the rabbits lay sheltered 
 by the ferns and trees from the glare of 
 the sun. 
 
 Some we had effectually startled, and in 
 hot haste they had scudded down the road 
 before us, enveloped in a small cloud of 
 dust. Here, where we stood, the trees 
 were thinner, and showed a red-stone 
 house in the hollow, its park and grounds 
 
 VOL. I. 9
 
 130 A woman's requital. 
 
 arranged round it in quiet dignity, as if 
 they and it had held their position together 
 for many a generation. 
 
 Further on was a village, half hidden 
 by the sun, and a church spire trying to 
 reach the rays of brightness that poured 
 down and transformed all it touched into 
 gold. 
 
 '' Why, that must be Holland !" I ex- 
 claimed. 
 
 '^ It is Holland ; and that is the 
 Manor.'' 
 
 *' I should like to see the gardens some 
 day." 
 
 " Any day you choose. Shall I come 
 for you ?" 
 
 *' Oh no ! I spoke on the spur of the 
 moment." 
 
 " Not always a good habit, Miss Shar- 
 land, but one becoming to you." 
 
 (
 
 A woman's requital. 131 
 
 I saw that I amused him, as a child 
 might, perhaps. Still I had the power 
 to make his stern face soften, and the 
 determined mouth curl itself into winning 
 smiles, and I was glad. Why was I 
 glad ? 
 
 9—2
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 " I know of nothing that lasts, not 1, 
 
 Save a heart that is true to its love alway, 
 A love that is won with tear and sigh, 
 
 And never changes or fades away, 
 In a breast that is oftener sad than gay ; 
 
 A tender look and a constant mind — 
 These are the only things that stay : 
 
 All else flits past on the wings of the wind." 
 
 Through Holland we drove, the people 
 came out of the shops and cottages to 
 gaze, and I saw a deeper tinge of colour 
 mount into the brown cheeks. 
 
 The old house did not look much the 
 same. The new tenant had painted it 
 up and rehinged the gate. There was 
 
 I
 
 A woman's requital. 133 
 
 an air of flowing prosperity about it it 
 had not had in my poor feeble father's 
 time. 
 
 '^ Are you grieving, looking back ?" 
 
 '^ No. I never look back ; and I cannot 
 wish for a return of misery and suffering 
 for others, even to procure happiness for 
 myself" 
 
 " But you hope for a happier future for 
 yourself? You have your dreams, have 
 you not ?" 
 
 I was silent. God alone knew how my 
 childish, girlish imagination had gilded my 
 life, conjured up bliss, complete, infinite ! 
 How alone in my bed I had listened to 
 my father playing on his violin, and woven 
 the sweet strains in Avith my life. How 
 my idol had grown as I grew; and lo ! 
 one day I awoke to find it shattered at 
 my feet !
 
 134 A woman's requital. 
 
 True, I had a home, but how different 
 a one from that which fancy pictured ! 
 The charm had dissolved, fancy could never 
 again play me a trick, and the knowledge 
 was not pleasant. 
 
 ^* Were you happy at home V questioned 
 my charioteer. 
 
 I considered. My life had been so 
 queer, so anxious from a child, that the 
 sole care of myself now weighed light as 
 air compared to what the care of others 
 had done. A sudden knock at the door 
 did not drive the blood from my cheek 
 now ; I dreaded no one ; I was, and I 
 blush to own it, happier and less anxious 
 than I had ever been before. 
 
 He was expecting to be answered. 
 
 *^Yes, I suppose I was happy; but I 
 am happier now, and more contented." 
 
 He smiled.
 
 A woman's requital. 135 
 
 " Did you ever see me. Miss Shar- 
 land r 
 
 *' Never, that I remember; therefore I 
 am pretty sure I never did see you." 
 
 '^ I believe you. Church, I conclude, 
 was the only likely place, and there I do 
 not often go." 
 
 Very probably he thought I would make 
 some remark expressive of proper horror 
 at such a confession. 
 
 I could not. My own short experience 
 had been bitter. I had learned that there 
 were two reliofions — one for the rich, one 
 for the poor, and unless you could pander 
 to the clergyman's stomach or vanity, your 
 soul might go at its own pace to the devil. 
 
 Not being hysterical and inclined to 
 bow down and adore a fellow-creature, 
 who for aught I knew was no better, 
 perhaps not so good, as myself, and not
 
 136 A woman's kequital. 
 
 having a cellar or a qualified cook, I was 
 just left to hunger and thirst for the 
 spiritual consolation which the Lord com- 
 mands all His priests to offer to every 
 member of their flock without distinc- 
 tion. 
 
 Setting aside his ministerial duties, Mr. 
 Duckworth had not even given me the 
 protection and support which any man — 
 worthy of the name — is expected to accord 
 a poor and defenceless woman. All hail 
 to that high-born gentleman, that generous 
 soul, that Pharisaical parson, who, seeing 
 a fellow-creature's need, quietly passes by 
 on the other side. Can anyone but .ad- 
 mire and reverence such a character — 
 such an example — such a caricature of a 
 parish priest ? Who would not get to 
 heaven under such a leader 1 
 
 We mounted the hill; every yard brought
 
 A woman's bequital. 137 
 
 me nearer home ; and I had so enjoyed 
 the drive. 
 
 We approached the old house ; we 
 stopped before the gate, and Joseph sprang 
 down. 
 
 I sighed as I rose and prepared to 
 ahght. That, however, I was not per- 
 mitted to do by means of the steps 
 placed there for that purpose. I was 
 gently lifted in Mr. Lovering's arms, and 
 set down in the garden by the roses. 
 
 I had words of thanks on my lips, 
 when, hastily raising his hat, he sprang 
 up and drove off. 
 
 " What a mannerless prig !" I half 
 i^iered, in vexation. ^' Why could he not 
 have parted from me with, at least, the 
 ordinary custom '?" 
 
 Did he repent his act of kindness, and 
 fear I should presume or misconstrue his
 
 138 A woman's requital. 
 
 motive ? No. He is too good a judge of 
 character not to see that I am as proud as 
 I am poor. 
 
 Peggy opened the door. 
 
 " I am glad you got a lift home, Miss 
 Grace ; you look pale enough, anyway. 
 Your tea is ready, and there is some fresh 
 fish in. Could you eat a bit V 
 
 '^ Not now, Peggy ; at supper I may. 
 I care little to eat, this hot weather." 
 
 I drew my chair close to the open 
 window. The sun had hidden his blazing 
 face, a faint breeze blew gently amongst 
 the parched flowers, and raised their 
 drooping heads. 
 
 I was very weary in body, fresh enough 
 in mind, and on the whole satisfied and 
 thankful. 
 
 If only he had said '' good-bye," and not 
 left me without a word. Why would he
 
 A woman's EEQUITAL. 139 
 
 not let me thank him ? I was troubled 
 and annoyed with myself for allowing so 
 trifling a matter to absorb so much of my 
 time. There was every need that I should 
 up and bestir myself 
 
 My pupils were on the increase, conse- 
 quently I might expect a greater demand 
 upon my capabilities. I must practise. 
 My piano was dear to me. My mother 
 had bought it, and, like her, it was sound, 
 good at the core. Its tones, ripe, rich, 
 awoke rare thoughts and much joy in my 
 heart. I turned to it now, and speedily 
 forgot my silly regret.
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 ** Dreams of the summer night ! 
 Tell her, her lover keeps 
 Watch ; while in slumbers light 
 She sleeps ! 
 My lady sleeps ! 
 Sleeps !" 
 
 At nine Peggy called me into the hall to 
 supper. I liked eating in there, especially 
 this close weather. That despatched, I 
 returned to my music, and at eleven I 
 went to rest. The pretty, cool, white bed 
 lulled me to slumber, and when the sun 
 rose and rudely looked in at the open 
 window, I awoke from a dream that 
 
 I
 
 A woman's requital. 141 
 
 haunted my memory all that day and 
 many a one after. 
 
 J was free that Thursday, able to help 
 Peggy and amuse myself. John had gone 
 out when I inquired for him. The hay 
 was not all in, and, as Peggy expressed it, 
 there was not " a man about the place to 
 do a single thing. Rap and I had it to 
 ourselves all yesterday, and I was right 
 glad to have the dog. A body might be 
 murdered, and every stick stolen out of 
 the house before they came in from the 
 meadows." 
 
 I assented, but failed to see any likeli- 
 hood. Rap appeared a very efficient 
 bodyguard as he lay stretched on the 
 stones, watching me mix the meal for the 
 poultry. It was ready now, and armed 
 with a wooden spoon, and displaying a 
 considerable portion of ankle, I turned to
 
 142' A woman's requital. 
 
 serve it to the crowing, cackling, twitter- 
 ing flock. 
 
 My three lambs came capering up, 
 riggling their short tails gleefully. They 
 regarded me as a mother, a piece of 
 preference I was proud of. Had I not 
 soothed them with milk and kind words ? 
 had I not scratched their hard woolly 
 heads with all a mothers fondness and 
 more patience ? 
 
 *' Peggy I" I called, as I saw her high 
 cap through the dairy casement. **Tell 
 John I want to sell these lambs, — that is, 
 two ; the other is Mr. Lovering's — and he 
 will oblige me by speaking to the butcher 
 when he comes." 
 
 *' He is coming to-day, Miss Grace." 
 
 "So much the better." 
 
 While the fowls stuffed and squabbled 
 over their food, of which the turkey-cock
 
 A woman's requital. 143 
 
 got considerably more than his share, I 
 gathered the eggs and scorched my face 
 the while. 
 
 The only interruption through the long 
 hot morning was the demand for beer, and 
 
 the clash of the cans on the slab bv the 
 
 «/ 
 
 "keep-room" door. When Peggy was 
 busy I served it, evidently to Frank's 
 amusement. At half-past ten Frank had 
 a new cry : 
 
 "Please, mum, the gaffer says Avill you 
 send him some bread-and -cheese and a 
 drink of milk '?" 
 
 " The gaffer T I repeated ; " who is he V 
 
 Frank's eyes danced. 
 
 "Mr. Lovering." 
 
 " Oh !" 
 
 Amazement tethered my tongue. As- 
 suredly Peggy must minister to Ms 
 needs.
 
 144 A woman's requital. 
 
 " Peggy, come here ; you are wanted. 
 Frank has a message from Mr. Lover- 
 mg. 
 
 Peggy bounced in Uke hghtning. 
 
 " Now don't say it's three pints of extra 
 cream as is wanted by Mrs. McGlockhn 
 for the folks at the Manor, because they 
 can't have it. The master knows that 
 Nancy is dead, and left us a calf to keep, 
 taking eight quarts of milk, and we missing 
 her twenty-eight." 
 
 She paused, defiant and breathless. The 
 lad grinned provokingly. 
 
 " It arn't nout about cream. The gaffer 
 wants something to eat and drink : he's 
 out yon in the meadows." 
 
 " Did the master send you here ? Don't 
 you think now it was to the Manor he sent 
 you, and you want to save your legs. Idle- 
 bones ?"
 
 A woman's kequital. 145 
 
 ^' No, I don't ; he told me to come to the 
 farm, and get it from you'' 
 
 *' Well, there's nothing but cheese or 
 butter," replied the good woman in per- 
 plexity. 
 
 I laughed. Did she suppose he fed any 
 differently to other people, though he was 
 rich and peculiar ? 
 
 " Send some of both, Peggy. Here, 
 while you draw the beer, I'll cut the 
 bread." 
 
 I cut some tolerably thick slices, and 
 spread the rich fresh butter liberally ; then 
 I lapped one over the other, and placed it in 
 the small fruit-basket. No cheese could I 
 find, so I, on my own responsibility, cut a 
 good-sized piece out of a fruit pasty, and 
 put it in along with the bread. I had 
 learnt to be quick and neat-handed at an 
 early age, and since my residence at Up- 
 
 VOL. I. 10
 
 146 A woman's requital. 
 
 hoUand there had been numerous oppor- 
 tunities of increasing my proficiency. 
 
 *' What are you looking for, Peggy ?" I 
 inquired, as I heard her going hither and 
 thither, fuming under her breath. 
 
 ** A jug, Miss Grace. John knocked 
 the handle off the little blue one last night, 
 taking it to the well instead of a can, and 
 now there is nothing to send the master 
 his milk in." 
 
 *' Take the glass one ; it is in the far 
 cupboard." 
 
 "Yours, that you brought home last 
 week, Miss Grace !" she exclaimed ? 
 
 '' Yes. Stay, Peggy," replied I, check- 
 ing the indignant torrent that I saw rising 
 to her lips. " Mr. Lovering must have 
 the milk, and there is no other suitable 
 jug, so you have no choice but to send 
 it."
 
 A woman's requital. 147 
 
 *' I suppose not," she retorted irefully, 
 ^' and all along of that man of mine." 
 
 Frank loaded and started, with many 
 injunctions to mind the jug, as it was 
 Miss Sharland's, and we lapsed into our 
 former quietude. 
 
 la— 2
 
 CHAPTER XVIII, 
 
 " What am 1 1 
 Why, a pigmy among giants T' 
 
 How hot it was I how the sun poured in 
 at every door and window, despite the 
 blinds. My thin dress clung round me^ 
 niy legs tottered. 
 
 I wanted to drink. Taking a goblet, I 
 passed out to the well, where the water, 
 clear as crystal, was ever cold. 
 
 Midway I paused. There sat Peggy, 
 trim and comely, fast asleep between two 
 empty milk-crocks, with one of honest 
 John's socks in her hand^ and the needle
 
 A woman's requital. 149 
 
 and yarn on the floor. I picked them up, 
 fearing Rap's paws, and left her sleeping. 
 
 My own room was as cool as any part of 
 the sunny old house, so I lay down there 
 on the sofa. 
 
 The buzzing of the bees round the 
 flowers on the table grew fainter^ the flap- 
 ping of the blind ever so gently at one 
 corner became a lullaby. All my cares 
 fled ; the waving trees, shot with sunlight, 
 dissolved into fairyland. I slept and 
 dreamt. My dream also was after the 
 fashion of fairy tales. A strange muddle 
 of *' The Sleeping Beauty " and " Little 
 Bo P#;ep." 
 
 The castle was invaded, we were all fly- 
 ing. Trumpets sounded, dogs barked, the 
 commotion was terrific. 
 
 I struggled up. Ah me ! the noise was 
 at UphoJland, not at Cockleshell Castle.
 
 150 A woman's requital. 
 
 "Peggy, is it the butcher?" I mur- 
 mured, my mind instantly reverting to 
 the pending transaction of the day, the 
 sale of my lambs." 
 
 My heart almost died within me when 
 two ladies entered the room, who looked as 
 if they had stepped out of some of the 
 pictures at Hampton Court. 
 
 They towered above me smiling, with 
 their wrinkled yet preserved skin drawn 
 in an excruciating manner from their 
 horribly false teeth. They were precisely 
 the same height, strongly resembled each 
 other, and dressed alike, with one excep- 
 tion — they wore different colours. 
 
 But for this, they might have passed for 
 one and the same woman. 
 
 Their badges were respectively orange 
 and rose. Immense coal-scuttle satin 
 bonnets, with waving plumes of black
 
 A woman's eequital. 151 
 
 feathers tipped with orange and rose, to 
 correspond with the colour of the bonnet, 
 white lace capes, brocaded dresses as stiff 
 as boards, and very high-heeled shoes. 
 Their mittens were drawn up under the 
 puffings of their sleeves, bub between the 
 threads could be seen the glitter of many 
 an old-fashioned gem. They stood silent, 
 side by side, and curtsied to me. 
 
 My bewilderment was intense. Was I 
 dreaming ? Where had they come from, 
 and who were they ? 
 
 When my amazement was at its height 
 I caught sight of Peggy gesticulating 
 frantically behind them, and pointing to- 
 wards the Manor. 
 
 Suddenly it flashed across my mind. 
 They were the Miss Loverings, the notei 
 twins, Miriam and Naomi. 
 
 A smile wreathed itself round my lips,
 
 152 A woman's requital. 
 
 naturally enough, for they were the very 
 oddest couple I had ever beheld. 
 
 " I beg your pardon for being so stupid. 
 I have been asleep, and was not half 
 awake when you entered. Will you sit 
 down ?" 
 
 They accepted my apology frigidly, and 
 placed themselves on two chairs, with 
 chins in, heels together, toes out, like 
 children at a dancing academy. I felt my 
 own insignificance miserably. I seemed a 
 mouse beside them ; I had neither their 
 necks nor waists. I was all plump and 
 soft; I could not have straightened my 
 back and drawn down my fat shoulders in 
 imitation of theirs, to have saved my life. 
 Their attitudes were identical. The orange 
 lady crossed her right hand over her left, 
 the rose lady her left over her right. 
 That was the sole difference.
 
 A woman's requital. 153 
 
 I began to grow hot. Would they never 
 speak ? 
 
 ** Have you any idea who we are, Miss 
 Sharland ?" came in precise tones from be- 
 neath the orange bonnet. 
 
 " I beheve you to be the Miss Lover- 
 ings." 
 
 ** We are," rephed both simultaneously. 
 
 " It is very kind of you to call," I ven- 
 tured to remark. 
 
 To be candid, I was afraid of them when 
 silent. They looked like figures at a wax- 
 works, and Peggy had shut them in with me. 
 
 *' Miriam thought " 
 
 (' Naomi thought " 
 
 '' Well, we both thought," corrected the 
 rose bonnet, " that it was propei to come, 
 as you are living on our estate. We 
 nearly always think together, Miss Shar- 
 land."
 
 154 A woman's requital. 
 
 " Naomi, dear sister, we do everything 
 together." 
 
 They exchanged glances of the most fond 
 description, and subsided into an undertone 
 of w^hispered endearment, shook their heads 
 in mock anger, peeped into each other's 
 faces under their bonnets, and well-nigh 
 upset my gravity. 
 
 " We were observing," continued Miss 
 Naomi, '* that being now under our pro- 
 tection " (I winced), " we considered it 
 proper to call. But you are not what 
 we expected, Miss Sharland. Is she, 
 Miriam ?" 
 
 '* Noj' solemnly replied Miss Miriam. 
 
 ^' May I ask what you did expect, 
 madam ?" 
 
 '' Ahem ! Well, some one older, taller, 
 thinner, clad in deep mourning, and of a 
 sad demeanour."
 
 A woman's requital. 155 
 
 " Indeed ! I am obliged to confess, then, 
 that you are justified in your disappoint- 
 ment. There is nothing sad or melancholy 
 about me. I intend to make my life as 
 pleasant as ever I can." 
 
 " The pleasures of this life are but fleet- 
 ing," replied Miss Miriam. 
 
 I agreed, and silently marvelled why 
 they took so much trouble to prolong its 
 vanities, when they could only be a source 
 of torment to themselves and amusement 
 to others. 
 
 Their scraggy necks and prominent 
 bones would have been better hidden, 
 since all beauty of symmetry had de- 
 parted. Their white hairs and furrowed 
 cheeks would have been a crown of glory, 
 bespoken for them veneration, care, honour. 
 But the false fronts, corkscrew curls, cos-
 
 156 A woman's requital. 
 
 metised skins, stood forth and denounced 
 theni as impostors. 
 
 They invited ridicule in its coarsest form. 
 
 Poor things I If their souls were as 
 distorted and false as their bodies, no 
 wonder they held on to the remnant of 
 life years had left them, and cheated 
 themselves as they hoped to cheat 
 others. 
 
 " Do you play ?" asked Miss Naomi. 
 
 *' Yes ; I gain my living by teaching." 
 
 " Our brother William mentioned some- 
 thing of the kind, and it interested me. I 
 was once a fine musician, but rheumatism 
 now partially incapacitates me." 
 
 I thought, more likely age, old lady. 
 
 " Do you happen to know a piece called 
 'Mozart's Minuet'" inquired Miss Miriam, 
 sweetly. 
 
 *' Yes. Shall I play it for you now V*
 
 A woman's requital. 157 
 
 "If you would be so kind. My sister 
 Naomi used to dance the minuet at Court 
 in good King George's time. Her grace 
 was allowed to be unequalled ; her ankle 
 the most delicately turned. She was — we 
 were affianced to " 
 
 Whom, I never heard. Emotion again 
 overpowered these ladies, and while they 
 comforted each other, I opened the piano 
 and began to play. 
 
 Yery likely they were thinking how my 
 figure would be improved by the use of 
 the '* back-board," and that my locks were 
 wofully unkempt. 
 
 True, instinct told me my twists were 
 all rubbed the reverse way, and that my 
 figure was not imprisoned in a whalebone 
 cage. 
 
 Presently I forgot them — venerable old 
 ladies ! My memory ran backwards to the
 
 158 A woman's requital. 
 
 days when I was a child and learning this 
 identical minuet, mounted on a hi^h stool, 
 and my querulous parent standing over 
 me. I saw — I heard it all again. The 
 tall aristocratic figure, the drooping white 
 moustache that hid the weak mouth, the 
 high forehead denoting genius, over which 
 so often there hung the shade of melan- 
 choly. I heard the sigh — hopeless and 
 silly — that he, poor incapable creature, 
 heaved when my small, chubby fingers and 
 childish ideas wandered away from his be- 
 loved Mozart. Those sighs used to pierce 
 my heart far deeper than the impatient 
 frenzy of reproof that sometimes followed, 
 to this effect, that ** I should never play." 
 
 In this instance — instructing me — as in 
 everything else, his deplorable weakness 
 was apparent. He had no perseverance or 
 patience to wait a reasonable time for a
 
 A woman's requital. 159 
 
 result. If success was not instantaneous, 
 the undertaking was a failure in his opinion, 
 and cast aside in favour of some new idea 
 that he knew would prove as bright as his 
 dreams of it. 
 
 I had played it carefully, minding the 
 passages that he had paid special attention 
 to, and my fingers slipped silently off the 
 smooth keys. 
 
 I was waiting for my mite of praise, the 
 musical : 
 
 '* Thank you, my daughter ;" or, '* You 
 improve, Grace. 
 
 Instead, I heard : 
 
 << Very nicely played. Miss Sharland. 
 You remind me much of my own playing, 
 only I do not think your touch is so deli- 
 cate — is it, Miriam ?" 
 
 I turned — my dream fled. There they 
 sat bolt upright — skinny, aged, artificial.
 
 160 A woman's requital. 
 
 I smiled, and Miss Miriam replied : 
 
 " Certainly not, dear sister. Monsieur 
 Cordeaux used to say he had not such 
 another pupil as my sister Naomi, Miss 
 Sharland. But I hope she will play for 
 you when you come to the Manor." 
 
 Civility compelled me to a,nswer that I 
 hoped she would, and I endeavoured to 
 appear as earnest as I could over it. I 
 succeeded evidently, for Miss Naomi 
 simpered, and bridled, and grasped my 
 arm with one of her scraggy hands, in an 
 outburst of enthusiasm painful to witness. 
 They commenced their leave-taking : they 
 curtsied, and kissed the tips of their long 
 nails to me, they pirouetted round each 
 other in the most bewildering manner. 
 
 At the end of six minutes I had, with 
 infinite relief, consigned them to the care 
 of a pompous, corpulent coachman, and
 
 A woman's requital. 161 
 
 tall footman, whose ideas and senses, I 
 imagined, might be centred in his pro- 
 truding calves and patent-leathered toes, 
 as that was decidedly the best-looking end 
 of him. 
 
 It was a very elegant and costly equi- 
 page — Mr. Lovering's was nothing com- 
 pared to it. 
 
 From the door I turned to encounter 
 Peggy's honest face of surprise and plea- 
 sure. 
 
 VOL. r. 11
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 " Noble art thou in thy birth : 
 By the good and the great of earth 
 Hast thou been taught ; 
 Be noble in every thought 
 And in every deed." 
 
 *' Did you ever see such a grand sight, Miss 
 Grace ? Just look at the dust they've 
 kicked up I All the gentry will come noiv. 
 You are going to be like your mother, 
 dearie — bring the folks from far and near 
 for a sight of your face. But I do wish 
 we had known they was coming. I was 
 just fuzenless when I opened the door and
 
 A woman's requital. 163 
 
 seed that lanky fellow with his breeches 
 tucked up." 
 
 *' Never mind, Peggy ; it cannot be 
 helped. Is my hair very rough ? I was 
 asleep, you know." 
 
 "It is rather; but don't keep that in 
 your mind — you're just a real lady, Miss 
 Grace, and the greatest in the land may 
 learn from you. Anyone can see you 
 belongs to the quality, and are well- 
 born." 
 
 "Forget that, Peggy. My birth will 
 do nothing for me, and I don't care that it 
 should. I prefer to win friends and 
 respect according to my own individual 
 deserts." 
 
 " The butcher has been, Miss Grace," 
 replied Peggy, immediately changing the 
 subject, " and he has bought your lambs." 
 
 " For how much V 
 
 11—2
 
 164 A woman's requital. 
 
 " John did not say : he said the price 
 was a good one ; and he comes for them 
 to-morrow, and brings you the money/' 
 
 I was pleased. Pleased on two scores — 
 firstly, the recently paid visit; and secondly, 
 the sale of my adopted children. 
 
 For the honour of the ladies Loverings' 
 visit I cared not a fig ; but I was con- 
 scious that it would give me a prestige in 
 the locality not to be scorned. No one is 
 better qualified to judge of the courage 
 and mercy of womankind than one of the 
 sex left lonely and poor in a well-to-do 
 neighbourhood. They will stare at you in 
 churchy especially the men, who are not 
 above speaking to you in the dark in a 
 quiet lane, and maybe annoy you suffi- 
 ciently to make their sensual countenances 
 hideous to you by daylight. They will 
 kneel at the same table on sacrament
 
 A woman's requital. 165 
 
 Sunday, but they will not touch you with 
 the hem of their rich dress in the aisle if 
 they can prevent it. They will let you 
 hunger and thirst on their very doorsteps, 
 yet they will not ask you in nor alleviate 
 your sufferings. If it be your lot to be 
 hired in an eminently virtuous snob's 
 family, God help you, and direct that it 
 may not enter into the vile hearts and 
 thick heads of the ''dear children" to pull 
 you limb from limb. We promise you you 
 will get no redress from the parents. 
 
 When the sun sank I went into the 
 garden, and wandered about till the very 
 " last bird had chirped itself to sleep, and all 
 the flowers drooped languidly. 
 
 No one had a prettier home. It was 
 beautiful in precisely the way I wanted it 
 to be ; it was quiet and peaceful. I had 
 settled what I should do with the lamb
 
 166 A woman's requital. 
 
 money, and in a fit of affectionate gratitude 
 I crept up to the woolly pets, lying in the 
 soft grass, and pressed devoted kisses upon 
 their hard heads. They were so sleepy — 
 hardly able to wiggle-waggle their tails. 
 
 The following morning gave promise of 
 a hotter day. Barely had the light broken 
 before the sun peeped from between the 
 clouds, hot blazing then, as it intended to 
 blaze all day long with treble fury. 
 
 I dreaded my walk through those long, 
 hot meadows, where there was now no 
 song of any bird. 
 
 Perhaps one lark would rise and whirl 
 carolling overhead in a passion of song 
 that seemed an outburst of madness, then 
 suddenly come reeling down and fall 
 stricken at your feet, killed by the sun- 
 king it was trying to reach. In the grass, 
 and screened by the leaves, the songsters
 
 A woman's requital. 167 
 
 lay, scarcely troubling to rouse themselves 
 as you passed. 
 
 My appetite flagged, these broiling days ; 
 and Peggy endeavoured to improve matters 
 by standing over me, as if her presence 
 could inspire hunger. 
 
 The postman's step roused me, and I 
 stretched my hand through the window. 
 Just one letter, coloured paper, fashionably- 
 shaped envelope, and a gilt crest as large 
 as half a- crown. 
 
 I opened and read it. 
 
 Huzza ! I might have a holiday ! 
 
 Like a girl of ten, I capered round the 
 room, and in rushed Peggy, wondering 
 what had happened. 
 
 •' Only an unexpected holiday, Peggy. 
 I can save my skin this day, and need not 
 submit to the painful process of being 
 broiled alive."
 
 168 A woman's requital. 
 
 " I am just thinking it's a good thing 
 it's come, for I don't know that you could 
 have walked over there to-day. You are 
 as white as a ghost, Miss Grace." 
 
 Was I ? There was not an atom of 
 glass in the room, and I really could not 
 go upstairs for no better reason than to 
 look at myself in the cracked one in my 
 chamber, which always represented you 
 with the toothache. 
 
 The time passed, and I did nothing but 
 help Peggy in the house a bit. The glass 
 jug had returned safely, and it never 
 occurred to me to inquire who brought it. 
 I was too lazy. 
 
 Something I must do ; I could not 
 endure that the whole day should be 
 allowed to slip by without leaving any 
 mark of its passage. 
 
 Half-past two !
 
 A woman's requital. 169 
 
 The shouts from the meadows came 
 distinctly on my ear, and filled me with 
 the desire to go there and rest amongst 
 the sweet-scented herbage. In two seconds 
 I was ready, my hat on my head, my 
 books tucked under my arm. The meadows 
 were reached at last, and I selected a hay- 
 cock and sank thankfully down upon it. 
 To my left rose the hill where the men 
 and carts were busily at work. The crops 
 were heavy, better than they had been 
 for many years. 
 
 Two old Irishwomen were not far off, 
 turning the hay ; but the carts would not 
 work their way down to where I sat that 
 day, though they carted by moonlight. 
 
 The distant voices, the fresh air all round 
 filled with the smell of hay, helped to 
 soothe me, and acted soporifically. I fell 
 into a dreamless sleep.
 
 170 A woman's requital. 
 
 When I awoke, the cart was going 
 round deahng out beer and food to the 
 harvesters. Frank was almoner ; Mr. 
 Lovering, driver. I almost laughed at 
 sight of him, perched on one side of the 
 small cart with his face burnt the colour of 
 beetroot, his brows drawn protectingly 
 over the keen, grey eyes, as if the shelter- 
 ing brim of the dilapidated hat was not 
 sufficient. What an odd man ! 
 
 Yet one could not but admire a gentle- 
 man of so practical a turn of mind, a man 
 master of himself and everything else he 
 put his hand to ; one who was so true a 
 gentleman that he could turn his hand to 
 anything without losing caste, and despised 
 and defied censure. It is not every day a 
 nan is found brave enough to challenge 
 society, equal to disarming criticism. 
 
 I watched them away, the stout black 
 
 1
 
 A woman's requital. 171 
 
 pony Medea, pressed into the service, 
 flipping her short tail to disturb the flies 
 that worried her glossy quarters. 
 
 Then I returned to my book, and forgot 
 all about my landlord. At the end of a 
 quarter of an hour I was again roused, 
 and a great shadow intervened between 
 me and the sun. It was Mr. Lovering.
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 " Good-bye ! Is this not strange, that we shoiild say- 
 To one who leaves us for a single day, 
 The same farewell that oft the laboured breath 
 Gasps from the twilight of the eve of death V 
 
 " Are you goin^ to scold me for coming 
 here V I asked. 
 
 " No." 
 
 " Do you want me to go ?" 
 
 ** No;" and he flung himself down beside 
 me. " How did you make such a nice 
 seat ?" he questioned, eyeing my hay 
 chair. 
 
 '^ I did not make it. I have been here
 
 A woman's requital. 1?3 
 
 so long that I suppose I have moulded the 
 hay to my figure. Did you see me when 
 you came round with the cart ?" 
 
 ** I saw some one, and I could think of 
 no other likely to come out here. What 
 made you come, Miss Sharland ?" 
 
 '* I do not know ; I do things often for 
 no better reason than to give myself 
 pleasure. It was not to see you that I 
 came, Mr. Levering." 
 
 '* Oh, indeed ! I came to see you, Miss 
 Sharland, to say ^ thank you ' for sending 
 your pet jug out yesterday." 
 
 " I did not send it ; Peggy had no other." 
 
 '* You are determined I shall not be de- 
 ceived upon any subject, I see. May I 
 inquire whether you consider me a vain 
 man V 
 
 I took a hurried survey. The face I 
 could not look at long ; it was full of mean-
 
 174 A woman's requital. 
 
 ing and fascination to me, yet beautyless 
 in most people's eyes. His attire was 
 Cvi^reless, shabby. He was either positively 
 indifferent to people's opinions, or relied 
 upon his intelligence rather than his 
 appearance to win him esteem and love. 
 As this last thought darted through my 
 mind I smiled. 
 
 *' Will you answer my question ?" 
 
 ^' Yes. You are not vain of your 
 appearance." 
 
 " But I am vain of something V 
 
 "I think so." 
 
 Again I saw the strange smile come 
 over his face. 
 
 '' Are you comfortable there ?" he 
 asked abruptly, nodding in the direction of 
 the farm. 
 
 '' Quite, thank you. Are you sorry you 
 let me come V
 
 A woman's requital. 175 
 
 '' No, I think not." 
 
 " How is the hay, sir — too hot ?" 
 
 '' No, it is cool and calculating, like you." 
 
 "And no shame to it. There does not 
 seem to me to be much use in getting 
 anxious and excited over one's life " 
 
 ** Very likely not ; but you must keep 
 moving on, for all that. Life is like the 
 treadmill ; stumble, and some one steps on 
 your heel." 
 
 My experience of life not being equal to 
 his, I forbore arguing the subject, and re- 
 marked : 
 
 " I have sold my lambs, sir ; your's is 
 well, and now able to take care of itself." 
 
 He bowed, bowed with old-fashioned, 
 stately grace, and lifted his hat high off 
 his head. 
 
 " You are a competent guardian, Miss 
 Sharland. I wdll relieve you of the charge
 
 176 A woman's requital. 
 
 of my lamb. You had some visitors 
 yeste;rday — did they please you ?" 
 
 I dared not look ; I felt my lips quiver- 
 ing with the excess of mirth that rose 
 when I recalled the Miss Loverings. 
 
 " You sent them 1" I replied. 
 
 *' Perhaps. Does that vex you V 
 
 " No, certainly not." 
 
 " I wanted them to know you ; I 
 thought you might, in a manner, do them 
 good." 
 
 *' I ! do your sisters good T 
 
 " Why not ? They are by no means 
 perfect ; and let me tell you, Miss Shar- 
 land, that it is only by comparison perfec- 
 tion is ever attained in the slightest 
 degree." 
 
 '* Then I may learn from them ever so 
 much. For instance, how to sit bolt up- 
 right, and become thin ; how to curtsy ;
 
 A woman's requital. 177 
 
 how to coax my face into girlish, gushing 
 smiles ; how to keep up a mockery of per- 
 petual youth ; how " 
 
 The expression of his face stopped me. 
 
 ^' Please forgive me, I have been 
 thoughtless, rude " 
 
 '' Nay, neither. You have but been 
 truthful. Why are you so bitter V 
 
 '^ I was angry." 
 
 ^' What at r 
 
 I blushed to own my reason, but I felt 
 I was in honour bound to give it, and I 
 was not at that moment sufficiently mis- 
 tress of myself to invent one. 
 
 '' Tell me," he repeated, unconsciously 
 usino^ the tone of o^entle command that for 
 the first time in my life I chose to 
 obey. 
 
 '' I thought you were displeased with 
 me, and wished me to copy your sisters." 
 
 VOL. L 12
 
 178 A woman's requital. 
 
 ** Heaven forbid ! You like them ! 
 Why, you are precisely what I " 
 
 He checked himself, bounced up, and, 
 sticking his fingers into his mouth, gave a 
 shrill peculiar whistle, a whistle that he 
 alone could make. 
 
 I was astonished. 
 
 ** Good-bye, Miss Sharland. I must be 
 looking after my men over yonder." 
 
 He lifted his hat without looking at me ; 
 I could see he purposely avoided doing so. 
 I was vexed, and he knew it. I resolved 
 that the next time we met he should not 
 have it in his power to leave so ab- 
 ruptly.
 
 CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 " If we indeed could surely gain 
 The end to which we toil and strain ; 
 Could grasp the thing we deem most dear, 
 And hold it firm and keep it near !" 
 
 I SAT on, reading, thinking, seeing far off a 
 rosy future. Thank God for the continu- 
 ually pleasant flow of ideas He permitted 
 me to enjoy. 
 
 My life was happy, yet I could not in 
 any special way account for its happiness. 
 My friend Mr. Cartland wrote to me often, 
 kind, fatherly, helpful letters, and urged me 
 to visit them the first opportunity I had. 
 
 12—2
 
 180 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 
 
 As I lounged in the hay this hot after- 
 noon, I thought of him, and how oddly he 
 had come to my aid in my desolation. 
 
 The beer-cart kept going its rounds ; 
 the Irishwomen came nearer, and I could 
 distinguish snatches of their conversation. 
 A slight feeling of hunger took hold of me. 
 I looked at my watch. SIk o'clock. I 
 rose. 
 
 " Going, Miss Sharland V asked a voice 
 behind me. 
 
 It was the master. What had induced 
 him to return ? 
 
 '' Yes, Mr. Lovering ; it is my tea-time. 
 Of course you dine an hour later. Are 
 you going ?" 
 
 He grimaced. 
 
 ^*No, T am not; I will do without dinner. 
 It is a long way to go for so little." 
 
 He held my hand ; his eyes were sad
 
 A woman's requital. 181 
 
 and tender enough to have melted any 
 girl. For me, all the naughtiness just 
 fled out of me, and I felt good and obe- 
 dient as I looked up into the kind, sun- 
 burnt face. 
 
 " Will you come and have tea with me, 
 sir, when you are busy, or come in and rest 
 when you are tired 1" 
 
 '' Much obliged, I will." 
 
 He still held my hand, though I said 
 very pointedly, '^ Good-bye, sir." 
 
 My discomfiture increased when I saw 
 the women resting on their rakes intently 
 watching us. 
 
 " Mr. Loverincj^, I must o^o." 
 
 *' Of course jou. must," he retorted, rous- 
 ing himself; "who thought of detaining you?" 
 
 I immediately took advantage of the 
 freedom, and departed. If his fingers 
 again clasped mine as before, I stood a
 
 182 A woman's requital. 
 
 good chance of remaining there. All the 
 way home I accused myself for something 
 that pricked my conscience, but eluded my 
 reason. It was a whisper, an idea, that 
 had come into my mind suddenly and 
 unasked. 
 
 How lovely the moonlight was — the 
 garden as light as day — when I pushed 
 back the blind and looked through the 
 open window ! 
 
 My throat was sore with singing; I 
 would go and find some fruit. 
 
 I opened the little gate and stepped 
 into the orchard, cooling my slippered 
 feet in the long grass thick with bluebells. 
 Out of some old ivy-covered trees by the 
 pond flew a bird with a wild startled cry, 
 and a tired horse stopped munching the 
 succulent grass in the croft, to gaze at me. 
 
 Poor beast I it had wrought all day
 
 A woman's requital. 183 
 
 with its fellows in the hay-field, and had 
 truly earned its rest. 
 
 I made my way to the cherry-tree. I 
 could see the ripe fruit hanging above me 
 in the moonlight, as clearly as the strips of 
 white rag Peggy had tied to the goose- 
 berry and currant bushes to keep off the 
 birds. 
 
 Once upon a time I might have seized 
 the lowest bough and swung myself up into 
 the tree. Now, however, I looked about 
 me for a stick to reach up with. In the 
 moonlight I saw an old hay-rake, most 
 likely brought there by Peggy, to assist 
 her to get enough for the delicious cold 
 tarts I had seen in goodly array in the 
 larder. It was an unwieldy thing, and 
 excessively difficult to manage when up- 
 right. Grasping it firmly in both hands, I 
 got it into the tree and shook down some
 
 184 A woman's requital. 
 
 cherries ; but I discovered that by going to 
 the other side I should have better plunder. 
 Thither I desired to go, and could not. The 
 rake was fast. I fretted a little ; I wriggled 
 and jerked my fat shoulders nearly through 
 the muslin. 
 
 Altogether I behaved remarkably like a 
 spoilt child, and then laughed at my folly. 
 
 " You had better let me help you," said 
 a quiet voice, slightly sarcastic. 
 
 There stood that queer man, my landlord, 
 under an apple-tree. The very tree that 
 had been a show of blossom in the spring. 
 
 " I don't mind if you do," I rephed, 
 ungraciously. 
 
 I was annoyed at my defeat, and morally 
 certain that had he kept his ugly person 
 out of the orchard for five more minutes, I 
 should have had that refractor}^ rake out of 
 the tree^ and been mistress of the situation.
 
 A woman's requital. 185 
 
 My temper was not improved by noticing 
 a smile that hovered round the large mouth. 
 I had rather he had laughed out. 
 
 " I found that rake here,'^ I announced, 
 knowing he dearly loved each and all of his 
 possessions." 
 
 '' You will wet your feet," was his reply. 
 
 He silently gathered the cherries he had 
 pulled down with the now liberated rake. 
 I noted the change in his dress. 
 
 " You have been home ?" 
 
 " Oh yes," he responded with dignity. 
 
 I remarked that he always spoke in a 
 dignified manner of his home, as if to im- 
 press one with the intense happiness he had 
 in it, and his love for it. He did not suc- 
 ceed in impressing me with that idea, by a 
 long way. I felt what a loveless, cheer- 
 less, unsociable place it must be, presided 
 over by those two dreadful old ladies ; and
 
 186 A woman's requital. 
 
 how detestable to him, a man peculiarly set 
 apart for home-life, companionship and 
 affection. 
 
 My thoughts were running wild ; specu- 
 lating, more than was wise, imaginary 
 things that would have vexed him sorely 
 could he have known them. 
 
 " Here are your cherries, Miss Shar- 
 land." 
 
 *' Thank you." 
 
 I took the bunch and divided it, giving 
 him half 
 
 *' You cannot eat them all, I suppose ?" 
 
 " I could, but it would afford me no 
 pleasure to do so. One gets enough of 
 eating alone." 
 
 " Why do you live alone V 
 
 " Why, because no one invites me to live 
 with them. Shall I advertise ?" 
 
 " No I" he almost shouted.
 
 A woman's requital. 187 
 
 The insects buzzed under the trees ; bats 
 flew in and out, avoiding the moonlight as 
 much as possible. 
 
 I was eating my cherries contentedly 
 enough, when all my tranquillity was put to 
 flight by seeing an enormous stag-beetle 
 crawling crab-like up my arm. Now, if 
 I had a special horror of anything it 
 was OQe of these creatures. I shivered, 
 screamed, and dropped my bunch of cherries. 
 " Oh, take it oW—do—do /" 
 
 He awoke from his reverie, and turned 
 at my cry — every atom of harshness out 
 of his face. He caught me to him, and 
 soothed me with a gentleness I had never 
 known before. It was silly, of course, but 
 the nasty animal had startled me, and I 
 clung for a second to him. 
 
 ** Did it sting you V he inquired, still 
 holding me.
 
 188 A woman's requital. 
 
 " No, thank you ; only I was afraid, you 
 know — and I have lost all the cherries you 
 gave me." 
 
 " Here are some. There, don't shiver 
 any more. It is all over now." 
 
 " And you think I am a goose 1" 
 
 '' I don't. I think something very dif- 
 ferent." 
 
 " What r 
 
 ^' I cannot tell you — at least not now." 
 
 " Then you will sometime f ' 
 
 ^' I hope so." 
 
 " Do you believe in dreams, Mr. Lover- 
 ing '?" I asked suddenly. 
 
 He started. 
 
 '' Certainly not." 
 
 " Don't you ever dream ?" 
 
 " Often." 
 
 I pressed the matter no further. His 
 reserve was upon him again.
 
 A woman's requital. 189 
 
 " Are you not afraid of taking cold, out 
 at this hour ?" 
 
 ^' No. I Hke beinof here. I like beinof 
 with you. When I was little I used to 
 creep out of bed, dodge nurse, and rush 
 away into the garden. I enjoy fruit by 
 moonlight. I could like to go into the 
 meadow now and sleep amongst the hay." 
 
 " You are not gfoinof ?" 
 
 " Oh no. I am grown up now, and re- 
 sponsible for my own actions. No one 
 would have me to teach their children if I 
 behaved myself indecorously. I am very 
 cautious." 
 
 '' Are you ? You remind me of what I 
 once said to a sweetheart of mine." 
 
 " A sweetheart ! I should not think you 
 ever had one." 
 
 He burst into a loud laugh. 
 
 " I am getting old now, you know," he 
 replied in an apologetic tone.
 
 190 A woman's requital. 
 
 '' Not very/' 
 
 I liked neither to hear of his age nor his 
 sweethearts. 
 
 " Well, I am older than you." 
 
 " Rather. How old do you suppose I 
 amr 
 
 '^ Not yet forty." 
 
 '' Forty ! Don't be stupid. I shall be 
 twenty-one in May." 
 
 *' Twenty-one in May !" he repeated. 
 '' Really I I mean, is that all T 
 
 *' All ; though people are always gene- 
 rous enough to credit me with fifteen more 
 years. Tell me — do I look old T 
 
 '' No ; but your manner, your way. 
 Why do you not tell your age ?" 
 
 " What good would it do me ? it only 
 gives me all the longer to work." 
 
 ** But it is to your advantage, my dear 
 -girl."
 
 A woman's requital. 191 
 
 " How so ? People are generally un- 
 believing, and always wicked enough to 
 take advantage when they get an oppor- 
 tunity. Very likely they would not believe 
 me if I stated my age. Think I wanted 
 to make myself out a clever, remarkable 
 person, or they would take advantage of 
 my youth and inexperience to cheat me 
 in some way." 
 
 " And you have told me ! Are you not 
 afraid I may abuse your candour 1" 
 
 " Not the least bit in the world. It is 
 quite different, telling you." 
 *' Is it '( I believe it is." 
 Again my hands were firmly clasped in 
 his. No one had ever so held my hands 
 before. I could not have released them 
 had I desired it. I did not desire it. I 
 was content, happy. 
 
 *' You are not afraid of me, then V
 
 192 A woman's requital. 
 
 *' No. I dare say you can be very cross 
 and terrible when you choose ; but I am 
 not going to provoke you." 
 
 *' You could not," he replied. 
 
 I avoided his steadfast gaze ; now there 
 was a passionate light, a determination in 
 his eyes that dazzled while it fascinated 
 me. 
 
 We were silent, standing beneath the 
 cherry-tree. 
 
 A glad, wildly happy thought darted 
 into my mind, and I raised my eyes. 
 
 " Yes," said he, meeting them, and as if 
 answering my thoughts, " we " 
 
 A head, surmounted by a white cap, 
 was poked over the wall, and Peggy 
 cried : 
 
 '' Miss Grace ! are you there ?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 '* Supper is ready."
 
 A woman's requital. 193 
 
 My hands were directly released, and 
 Mr. Lovering, in a totally different tone of 
 voice, said : 
 
 " Good-night, Miss Sharland. I do not 
 recommend you to remain out longer." 
 
 " Good-night, Mr. Lovering." 
 
 Thus we parted. 
 
 " Grace, you are a fool !" was my com- 
 ment, when I regained my sitting-room. 
 
 I resolved to forget all — everything ; 
 and with an air of resolution cut some tart. 
 But I could not eat. My mind kept on 
 revolving. 
 
 " Did all men behave like Mr. Lover- 
 ing?" 
 
 Instinct supplied the place of expe- 
 rience with me, and the answer came to 
 the fore at once. 
 
 '' No." 
 
 VOL. I. 13
 
 194 A woman's requital. 
 
 My violin gave out strange music that 
 night. I had no one to whom I could 
 speak, had I been so inclined, so I put my 
 thoughts into my music. ' 
 
 I
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 " AYhen summer suns are bright, dear, 
 
 And fields with gold are glowing ; 
 When summer suns are bright, dear, 
 
 And gay flowers are blowing, 
 We'll rest beside some merry stream. 
 
 In a deep bowery wood, 
 And muse upon the tender dream 
 
 That fills our souls with good." 
 
 My sleeves rolled up, mounted on a plank, 
 I stood making butter. 
 
 It was deliciously cool in the dairy ; 
 only the sunlight on the big beech tree 
 before the window, and the scent of hay 
 and flowers entered there. 
 
 13—2
 
 196 A woman's requital. 
 
 I liked making butter. My hands went 
 deftly to work : I patted and moulded the 
 solid yellow pounds with their numerous 
 prints on their faces. My favourite was a 
 wheat sheaf 
 
 One large dish stood ready on the slab, 
 thickly covered with leaves, when a clatter 
 of horses' feet on the stones aroused me. 
 The butcher or the miller, no doubt. Cer- 
 tainly not Mr. Levering; he never came 
 near the place now, and my amusement 
 was intense to observe how he contrived 
 to avoid me. Whether his cuts or snubs 
 hurt me he cared nothing ; he was quite 
 forgetful of the fact that at one time he 
 had sought me and shown a preference for 
 my society, and an interest in my welfare, 
 that was not of the usual order. Men are 
 cowards. 
 
 Yes, gentle reader, your idol and de-
 
 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 197 
 
 fender is ^at heart a coward, and will, to 
 gratify his vanity or increase his amuse- 
 ment, condescend to the meanest, basest 
 conduct, without any temptation. The 
 smile fled out of my face at the recollec- 
 tion of my landlord ; he had ceased to be 
 a pleasure to me. 
 
 My surmise was correct ; it was the 
 w^orthy miller, Mr. Leete. I rather liked 
 this man. Short, stout, dark and intelli- 
 gent, he awakened my interest immedi- 
 ately. I found him kind and considerate, 
 and possessed of no small heart or under- 
 standing. He had asked me to go to his 
 house in Danver whenever I liked, his 
 wife was nearly always at home. 
 
 Whatever his position might be, I saw 
 he was no common man, and I accepted 
 his generous invitation with every intention 
 of availing myself of it some day. He
 
 198 A woman's requital. 
 
 had spoken to me of his children, his boys 
 and girls, in a frank manner, very pleasant 
 and natural. 
 
 There was something in his dress, so 
 quiet and good ; no jewellery, but spotless 
 linen, and the finest cloth ; the faultless 
 condition of himself, the perfect teeth and 
 nails, yet not the slightest approach to 
 dandyism — that betokened the well-ordered 
 mind, the genuine worth that lay concealed 
 beneath this modest exterior. 
 
 I liked him. I could geb no further — 
 cite no reason for doing so ; nor had I any 
 wish to. Hitherto I had found my own 
 judgment of character sufficient to guide 
 me right ; I would not mistrust it 
 now. 
 
 We had had many quiet chats in my 
 sitting-room, while he took some milk or 
 cider; and I had questioned him about people
 
 A woman's requital. 199 
 
 in Danver who had appHed to me to in- 
 struct their children. In many instances 
 he had guided me; in one he had prevented 
 me becoming associated with a family un- 
 principled and immoral, yet sufficiently rich 
 and cunning to lay a thick coating of gilt 
 and poHteness over their misdeeds, and 
 gather j^round them a crowd of acquaint- 
 ances. 
 
 '^ When one is poor one may take any- 
 one's money/' so say some. 
 
 But not I. One such connection is suffi- 
 cient to damn any young woman. 
 
 It is not degrading to clean one's own 
 shoes, or eat dry bread ; but it is to asso- 
 ciate with those who have no respect for 
 the laws of common decency, and who live 
 only to commit acts of yice that when called 
 by their proper names make people turn 
 their heads aside.
 
 200 A woman's requital. 
 
 I was thankful for my escape. I 
 never met the gorgeous carriage, with 
 its fat horses and fatter serva^nts, bearing 
 its cargo of repulsive insolence, that I did 
 not remember Mr. Leete with sincere 
 respect and gratitude. 
 
 To have had any member of that family 
 in a position to say they knew 'me, even in 
 the humble capacity of teacher, would have 
 been a thorn in my side for ever and 
 ever. 
 
 Peggy had been near when he asked me, 
 in his clear voice, to go to his house, and 
 had heard me accept. 
 
 " Will you go. Miss Grace ?" 
 
 " Certainly.'' 
 
 " Going to Mr. Leete's is not like going 
 to the Miss Loverings, and your papa was 
 so very particular." 
 
 " Yes ; and yet not sufficiently particular
 
 A woman's requital. 201 
 
 to place me beyond the necessity for 
 mixing with all and everyone. Don't 
 let me hear any more of that non- 
 sense, Peggy. Mr. Leete is a simple- 
 minded virtuous man, and therefore a 
 gentleman." 
 
 I laughed when I thought of him not 
 being like the Miss Loverings. I shouldn't 
 think he was. They were nonsensical, 
 artificial, heartless old absurdities. He 
 was a real, upright, warm-hearted man, 
 with boys and girls of his own. 
 
 I was righc-down glad when the dark 
 face appeared at the door. 
 
 '* They told me you were here. Miss 
 Sharland." 
 
 " And it's quite true, Mr. Leete ; I am 
 a living, thinking, working young woman. 
 Will you have a glass of milk 1" 
 
 '^Please."
 
 202 A woman's requital. 
 
 He came nearer. 
 
 " You can make butter, I see." 
 
 " Yes ; I may have to seek a situation 
 as dairymaid. If this butter were mine I 
 would give you a pound." 
 
 ^' I believe you would ; but as you can- 
 not show your goodwill towards me in that 
 manner, will you come and see my wife V 
 
 " Yes ; where is she V 
 
 ^' Here, in the yard." 
 
 I hastily unrolled my sleeves, put down 
 the pats, and left the dairy. 
 
 '^ I saw the horse and gig standing 
 behind a rick for shelter from the sun, but 
 no lady." 
 
 " She has gone somewhere. Mary ! 
 Mary !" 
 
 " Yes, John," came the obedient reply. 
 '^ I am looking' at these little ducks." 
 
 " This is Miss Sharland "
 
 A woman's requital. 203 
 
 The lady at once turned and bent grace- 
 fully to me. I thought I had never seen 
 so sweet a face. The profile was delicate, 
 and expressive of excessive sensibility and 
 affection. The full blue eyes turned on 
 John timidly, and with more solicitude in 
 them than one usually sees in those of a 
 wife who is perfectly sure of her husband's 
 temper. 
 
 I settfed it at once that this gentle lady 
 was by no means confident of John's ap- 
 proval ten minutes together, and led a 
 harassing life. 
 
 Her dress was the perfection of simplicity 
 and neatness, and reminded me of a sect I 
 thoroughly admire — Quakers. I learnt at 
 a later period, that Mrs. Leete belonged to 
 a Quaker family — very worthy people in- 
 deed, and that, contrary to the wishes of 
 her family, she had married passionate
 
 204 A woman's requital. 
 
 John Leete, captivated by his dark beauty 
 and black, crisp locks, which he was not 
 above having curled for special occasions. 
 
 " Come in, Mrs. Leete." 
 
 Again the timid look. 
 
 '^ Mr. Leete is in no hurry," I continued, 
 answering the glance. " He can see all 
 there is to be seen, or come with us, as 
 he pleases." 
 
 She suffered me to lead her into the 
 house and get her some milk. I found 
 that her husband had told her of my 
 lonely life, and she, judging from her own 
 feelings, pitied me, and made more of the 
 circumstance than there was any need to do. 
 
 I let her sympathise and make much of 
 me in her loving, motherly way. To have 
 checked it would have wounded the gentle 
 heart to the core. 
 
 My courage astonished her the most.
 
 A woman's requital. 205 
 
 How could I live alone in that quiet 
 place, and sit by myself through the even- 
 ings ? She — she should go mad, or die of 
 fright ! 
 
 I thought, perhaps better that, than be 
 the wife of a man like your husband, 
 madam. I might have had an easier place, 
 owing to a more extensive knowledge of 
 such characters and a more elastic con- 
 stitution. 
 
 She, poor creature ! might well always 
 be tired ; her mind was never off the rack, 
 her anxiety never slumbered ; and when 
 John was tolerably tranquil, her natural 
 refinement and eye for order imposed some 
 household duty upon her. 
 
 My life might be lonely and hard, but 
 thank Heaven there was no repression 
 about it, such as stifles the vitality of too 
 many women, and causes them to draw
 
 206 A woman's requital. 
 
 their last breath years before they need 
 have done. 
 
 When I had earned my peace, I could 
 enjoy it; I had only myself to please. In 
 those days I imagined that to be the climax 
 of contentment. Now, I know that no 
 woman can live long contentedly for 
 herself only. 
 
 *^ I scarcely think you would," I replied, 
 looking at the sweet, nervous face, wdth 
 the bead-fringe hanging from the chip- 
 bonnet on to the soft, brown curls ; "you 
 could take an interest in the things about 
 the place, and make your own dresses or 
 bonnets." 
 
 She smiled. 
 
 " So I could, my dear ; so I could. I 
 always made my baby's clothes, even to 
 the caps. When I was younger I made 
 Mr. Leete's shirts, and his stocks, and his
 
 A woman's requital. 207 
 
 vests ; but now my eyes are not quite so 
 good. I tell my daughters they do not 
 know what their mother did, and T hope 
 they may never have to do the same. 
 You seem very strong, my dear." 
 
 '^ Yes, happily my health is excellent ; 
 and as it is the only fortune I ever had, 
 or am likely to get, I intend to take care 
 of it." 
 
 *' Quite right. I hope you will come 
 and see us, Miss Sharland. My eldest 
 daughter is about your age, but not like 
 you ; she is delicate, and very much 
 spoiled." 
 
 Before I could reply, Mr. Leete joined 
 us. 
 
 " You are talking of Annie ?" he asked, 
 glancing at us quickly with his black eyes. 
 *' So she is spoilt, is she ? My wife means 
 that for me. Miss Sharland. Well, if I
 
 208 A woman's requital. 
 
 do spoil the girls, you do the same by the 
 boys ; and I know to which it is likely to 
 do the most harm." 
 
 This was evidently a knotty point ; and 
 seeing poor Mrs. Leete's anxious face, I 
 hastened to reply : 
 
 '' To sensible children a little spoiling 
 never comes amiss. If your parents are 
 not kind, who will be ?" 
 
 Mr. Leete looked at me, and I could 
 see by his tender expression he was think- 
 ing, ''What if my Annie had been se 
 left !" 
 
 His wife sighed. 
 
 " Mrs. Leete, which do you consider the 
 best shop in Danver for me to go to for 
 my things ?' 
 
 '' Gutherie's. We go there for every- 
 thing, and it is convenient, for they keep 
 many things needed in a household."
 
 A woman's requital. 209 
 
 "Thank you ! then I shall go there." 
 
 "My dear," said Mr. Leete, putting his 
 shapely hand on my shoulder, "if you like, 
 I will recommend you to them as a regular 
 customer, and then your account will come 
 every quarter, and if you are not able to 
 manage it, come to me ; I will see they do 
 not annoy you." 
 
 " I shall feel greatly obliged if you will 
 recommend me, Mr. Leete ; but have no 
 fear, Gutheries will never have to trouble 
 you." 
 
 " I know that — you will help yourself, 
 and I am glad you have not refused my 
 offer." 
 
 At the end of an hour pleasantly passed 
 in conversation they departed ; and having 
 seen them drive off, I resumed my butter- 
 making. 
 
 VOL. I. 14
 
 210 A woman's eequital. 
 
 I liked them extremely ; there was 
 something so true and kind - hearted 
 about them. I felt drawn to them 
 strangely.
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 *' A word unspoken, a hand unpressed ; 
 A look unseen, or a thought unguessed ; 
 And souls that were kindest may live apart, 
 
 iSTever to meet or know the truth, 
 Xever to know how heart beat with heart 
 
 In the dim past days of a wasted youth." 
 
 The last pound was being rolled, when 
 again horse's hoofs sounded, and presently 
 John's head was poked through the open 
 door. 
 
 *' A groom from the Manor brought this 
 note, Miss Grace." 
 
 " Is he waiting 1" 
 
 *' No, miss." 
 
 14—2
 
 212 A woman's requital. 
 
 When I had finished the butter, I 
 turned to the note. The handwriting 
 was that dehcate, it might have been 
 executed with the point of a pin ; the 
 missive was enclosed in a narrow long 
 envelope, and highly scented. I had to 
 read it twice before I mastered the sense, 
 so elaborate was the composition ; when I 
 did comprehend, my heart beat quicker. 
 
 I was invited to the Manor for the follow- 
 ing evening. Evidently Mozart's Minuet 
 had done the trick, and captivated the old 
 ladies. 
 
 Sitting on the stone, I pondered. What 
 should I go in 1 
 
 Very little choice had I ; my dresses 
 were all draggled and torn. 
 
 What a pity I had not availed myself of 
 Mr. Leete's offer, and gone into Gutheries. I 
 had not, however ; and now there was no
 
 A woman's requital. 213 
 
 time to. I must meet the demand with 
 what I had. 
 
 Thanks to nurse, I knew how to use my 
 needle, and now it must aid me to appear 
 in as fresh an attire as my limited means 
 would allow. 
 
 The only dress that appeared at all Hkely 
 was my best merino — part of the mourning 
 I had had for my father. A silk dress I 
 did not possess. 
 
 I shut myself up in my bedroom and 
 reflected. The dress was taken out, un- 
 folded, and inspected. It was good, fitted 
 charmingly/ ; only it w^as Quakerish to a 
 painful degree, and scarcely the thing for 
 an evening at the Manor, where I knew 
 there were visitors. 
 
 I desired to look well — every young 
 woman does; I must enliven it some 
 way. I turned the contents of the drawer
 
 214 A woman's kequital. 
 
 over, and got my fingers entangled in some 
 black ostrich-feather trimming, which had 
 been my dear mother's. Then came a 
 parcel. I opened it, and disclosed some 
 black spotted net I had bought to make 
 a bonnet with. I formed my plans 
 directly. I would open the dress and fill 
 in with the net, drawing it full up to the 
 throat, and finish with a band of the 
 feather trimming, using the feathers as a 
 decoration for the bodice. The sleeves I 
 could loop back and trim with feathers 
 and net. I knew my arms and neck were 
 good, and I was proud of their beauty. 
 
 Having settled this matter, I fell to 
 work, and before the sun set I had made 
 such a transformation in my dress that it 
 looked presentable. 
 
 My note of acceptance I had despatched 
 by the milk-boy. When Teggy heard,
 
 A woman's requital. 215 
 
 hands and eyes were lifted in conster- 
 nation : 
 
 " Whatever are you going to do for a 
 dress, Miss Grace V 
 
 ''Make your mind easy; I have managed 
 all that, and I dare say I shan't look so 
 bad." 
 
 Peggy said dinner at the Manor was at 
 six o'clock, so I timed myself to arrive 
 about half-past five, as Miss Miriam wished 
 me to come early. 
 
 When on, my dress looked better than I 
 expected, and I called Peggy up to see. 
 
 '•' Very nice, indeed, Miss Grace ; but 
 you do want a spot of colour. You look 
 so white in all that black — poor child I" 
 
 '' What can I do ? I have no ribbons ! 
 I might wear a rose.'* 
 
 '' To be sure ! and there's plenty of them 
 deep red ones under the kitchen window."
 
 216 A woman's requital. 
 
 Away flew Peggy, and presently returned 
 with a cluster. 
 
 It was already late, so I hastened to 
 fasten them in amongst the net about my 
 throat, and snatching at my gloves while 
 Peggy hooked my cloak, I hurried off, in 
 terrible fear that I should be late. I took 
 the short way down by the side of the farm, 
 and through the wood which skirted the 
 park and then branched oif to the left, 
 which brought you to a small wicket 
 opening on to a side lawn. 
 
 This was my first visit. The Manor its 
 master had shown me from the crest of the 
 hill, that day, coming home from Danver ; 
 but at that distance I had not been able to 
 master half its beauties. Its closely- 
 shaven lawns, its sparkling fountains, its 
 beds of endless flowers, all harmonizing, 
 as colours alone do in nature : the arch-
 
 A woman's requital. 217 
 
 ways of knotted, tangled wood, cunningly- 
 entwined with roses and ivy ; the shelter- 
 ing- woods on either side screening the 
 gardens that vied with each other in love- 
 liness ; it was the most beautiful place I 
 had ever seen or imagined, and a silly, 
 childlike delight possessed me, as I 
 mounted the broad white steps, with 
 vases of choice flowers lining the ascent, 
 and timidly pulled the bell. 
 
 My summons was answered by the ele- 
 gantly proportioned footman who had 
 attended the carriage the day the Misses 
 Loverincr honoured the farm with a visit. 
 
 Whatever awe I might feel when be- 
 holding the glories of nature cultivated by 
 art, or the visible production of man's 
 talent^ I felt none when addressing a 
 menial, a creature whose insolence rendered 
 him ridiculous. All nervousness fled, and
 
 218 A woman's requital. 
 
 I compelled the man's respect and attention 
 by the authority that had been born in me, 
 and over which I could not always exercise 
 power. I noticed with delight the sneer slip 
 from the coarse mouth, the half- closed eyes 
 — intended to express indifference and per- 
 fect confidence in himself — opened their 
 limited extent, and out of them looked 
 that cunning anxiety, that coward heart, 
 which proclaims the base born. 
 
 T saw he recognised me as the young 
 person who earned her living by teaching 
 the pianoforte, and on whose account he 
 and Simkins had been oblio^ed to endure 
 the sun's scorching rays for more than an 
 hour one afternoon. 
 
 I had not the least doubt but he had 
 mastered every point of my modest toilet, 
 and remembered with infinite relish the 
 superiority of Susan Janes. •
 
 A woman's requital. 2VJ 
 
 These thoughts amused me, and sent a 
 queer thrill through my veins. 
 
 The room into which I was shown was 
 evidently one sacred to the Misses Lover- 
 ings, for there, in the opposite corner, was 
 the spinet on which Miss Naomi rattled 
 her skeleton fingers. What is considered 
 lady-like knicknackery, and much affected 
 in boudoirs, was plentifully littered about. 
 Brackets were here and there nailed to the 
 wall, ornamented with dirty pieces of lace, as 
 rough as if they had been dragged through 
 a thorn hedge. These supported images : 
 *^ Youno^ Eno^land and his Sister," " A 
 Shepherd and Shepherdess " looking 
 lovingly at each other from behind their 
 crooks, '' St. John and the Lamb," etc. 
 
 Some atrociously executed water-colours 
 were stuck in conspicuous places, and a 
 picture of Miss Naomi in a turban com-
 
 220 A woman's requital. 
 
 pleted the catalogue of deformities. If I 
 had been compelled to remain long in that 
 waxwork-like apartment, I should have 
 been unable to resist the desire to turn 
 everything topsy-turvy and execute a 
 hornpipe amongst the remains. I began 
 to consider how I could escape from it 
 before I had disgraced myself for ever. 
 There was no sign of the living appearance 
 of either Miss Naomi or Miriam. 
 
 The window was fasfc closed, and listing 
 tacked round it, as well as the door, so that 
 every breath of air was excluded. I grew 
 stifled, faint. 
 
 Oh ! if I became unconscious, I might 
 fall with my face on a china-bowl containing 
 some decayed relic of their early days, or 
 they would be clawing me with their long 
 fingers, and burning feathers under my 
 nose.
 
 A woman's requital. 221 
 
 Desperate, I unbolted the window and 
 flung it open, and in doing so nearly flung 
 myself out. 
 
 A hand caught me. 
 
 '' Oh, Mr. Levering !" I gasped joy- 
 fully. 
 
 «f Why, I beheve you are glad to see me. 
 But where are you rushing to ?" 
 
 " I — I don't know. They put me in 
 here, and I thought no one would come, 
 and I " 
 
 *'And you did not like it The added, 
 laughing. ^' I don't wonder at it — that 
 room would give me the blues. Will you 
 venture in again with me ?" 
 
 *^Yes; I must go back, because Miss 
 Lovering will come presently, I suppose." 
 
 " I suppose so," he repHed absently; and 
 looking up, I found his eyes fixed upon me 
 earnestly.
 
 222 A woman's requital. 
 
 He had on a light coat and straw hat. 
 
 *' Have you been away ?" 
 
 ^' To-day — yes ; they don't know I am 
 back now. Why do you ask V* 
 
 ** Because I have not seen you for such 
 a long^ time." 
 
 *^ No, no — I have not been about the 
 farm very lately," he answered hurriedly. 
 
 And, as if to avoid further controversy 
 on the subject, he rang the bell. 
 
 ^' Tell one of the ladies Miss Sharland 
 has come, and send a maid here at once." 
 
 With a nod he vanished. 
 
 Presently a smart maid arrived, who 
 conducted me upstairs, and thither there 
 appeared Miss Miriam. 
 
 She embraced and kissed me most affec- 
 tionately. Poor thing ! she intended it 
 
 kindly enough ; but I would she had 
 
 ft 
 adopted some other method of evincing
 
 A woman's requital. 223 
 
 her good feeling, for it was a inost trying 
 ordeal. She gently squeezed me, and her 
 sharp bones grounded into my fat shoulders 
 painfully. But I bore it, and actually 
 smiled when I got my face out of the stiff 
 bosom. 
 
 She wore a dress of blue satin, with 
 embossed flowers in velvet upon it. Her 
 head was enormous — rolls and folds of 
 hair looped through tortoiseshell gratings, 
 every atom of which was false. I thought 
 of my own sleek head, and marvelled what 
 she must have felt like with all that lug- 
 gage on hers. 
 
 Her watery eyes noted my appearance, 
 and the summit did not please her. 
 
 ^' My dear, don't you think if you had 
 your hair dressed fashionably, like mine, 
 you would be improved 1 Wilcox can do 
 it in five minutes — she is so expert 1"
 
 224 A woman's kequital. 
 
 Wilcox's eyes gleamed at the prospect 
 of operating upon my head. The owner 
 thereof had no intention of gratifying her 
 ambition. 
 
 ^^ You are excessively kind, Miss Miriam, 
 but I have never been accustomed to have 
 my hair mounted over cushions, and I don't 
 think it would feel comfortable." 
 
 '* Very likely it might feel strange at 
 first ; but consider the change, my dear — 
 change is so necessary." 
 
 '^ Is it ?" I responded, moving towards 
 the door. Subjoining silently — *^ Changes 
 are lightsome, and fools are fond of 
 them.'' 
 
 " Then you won't ?" inquired Miss 
 Miriam, regretfully. 
 " No, I won't." 
 
 '^ Of course, just as you like, my dear," 
 she continued, taking my arm, and march-
 
 A woman's requital. 225 
 
 ing me off. But I thought you would like 
 to appear as other ladies : you look so odd. 
 I hope you ivorit feel peculiar. We have 
 Mrs. Fantail and her niece, Miss Clemen- 
 tina Kirkham, staying w^th us — very 
 stylish people. Clem is quite a belle ; and 
 it is so improving to her to have her aunt 
 to go out with, she is so accustomed to 
 society, and has travelled a great deal." 
 
 VOL. L 15
 
 CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 " In my anger I long to forget you 
 
 Through summers and winters ; yet 
 I long to completely remember 
 More than I long to forget." 
 
 So chattered Miss Miriam, and I wondered 
 what manner of women these were, and 
 what they would think of poor insignifi- 
 cant me, in my merino dress. 
 
 I wished I had not come — not through 
 fear, but because I surmised I should not 
 meet my friend, and I dreaded the pur- 
 gatory through which I must pass. 
 
 Daunted and afraid I was not. Some- 
 thing whispered to me :
 
 A ^yOMAN's REQUITAL. 227 
 
 '' Grace, be natural, as God made you, 
 and you will be good in the sight of some 
 one. 
 
 The next moment my eyes were dazzled. 
 We were in a large room full of shimmer- 
 ing hght, intermixed with shades of blue, 
 gold, and white. 
 
 I heard rippling laughter, rapid utter- 
 ance liberally interlarded with fast slang 
 and French. It proceeded from a settee, 
 before which stood a broad-shouldered form 
 I knew very well. 
 
 *' William I You here ?" exclaimed Miss 
 Miriam. 
 
 William turned. Mr, Lovering looked 
 well in evening dress. I saw him, though 
 I did not look : felt the power of those 
 keen grey eyes ; saw the wavy brown curls 
 as they fell over the massive forehead. He 
 was not handsome. No ; that harsh, arro- 
 
 15—2
 
 228 A woman's requital. 
 
 gant face had nothing of beauty about it, 
 but plenty of repulsion. To me, however, 
 it was strangely fascinating. 
 
 " I thought you had gone to town, 
 William. I am sure Allinson said so." 
 
 " Indeed I then Allinson spoke unad- 
 visedly. I must lecture him." 
 
 " What made you change your mind ?" 
 
 He laughed. 
 
 " Kather a small thing ; nothing half so 
 large as you, Miriam, in any sense. But 
 it is just a dot that turns the scale in 
 every case." 
 
 '' Do you remember Miss Sharland, 
 William r 
 
 "Perfectly." 
 
 And my hand received a squeeze it was 
 not likely to forget. Something had 
 pleased him — there was that odd sparkle 
 in his eye.
 
 A woman's requital. 229 
 
 He turned away abruptly, and resumed 
 his conversation with Miss Kirkham. 
 
 I found a seat near. Miss Kirkham 
 attracted me ; she was the first specimen 
 of the kind I had ever seen. 
 
 Tall and graceful, she induced you to 
 watch her movements. They were all 
 arranged to catch the eye, and amused 
 one by their insinuations. I could imagine 
 she would speedily engage the attention of 
 a man new to the manoeuvres of a crafty 
 woman. 
 
 Her appearance was undoubtedly strik- 
 ing. My head reached to about her 
 elbow. And her head ! It was covered 
 with a touzled, frizzled, curled, tangled 
 mass of golden hair. Naturally she was 
 fair, but to appear unusually taking, 
 she had painted her eyebrows and dyed 
 her hair. In all likelihood this beauty
 
 230 A woman's requital. 
 
 made sad havoc with ignorant boys, 
 or those in a second dotage — old men 
 thinking of a third wife instead of their 
 coffins. 
 
 Dressed in black gauze dotted with 
 silver, her waist spanned by a silver zone, 
 her fair arms encircled by silver snakes, 
 she looked enchanting, and as angelic as 
 her aunt's evil teachino^ and her own 
 naturally base mind would permit. 
 
 Fortunately the face was not made up 
 
 enough to hide the crafty designs that 
 
 lurked in that powdered breast. 
 
 Not far from Clem sat the aunt, Mrs. 
 
 Fantail, squeezed till her sentences had 
 
 to be curtailed to the limits of her breath, 
 
 and her conversation was carried on in 
 
 gasps. 
 
 She affected the Spanish beauty, and 
 
 cased herself in black satin, from out of
 
 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 231 
 
 the folds of which crept a scarlet chain of 
 flowers, serpent fashion, twining waist, 
 shoulders, and catching lovingly at the 
 lacet hat drooped over the high Spanish 
 comb. 
 
 Her age there was little chance of 
 guessing, so cleverly was every indication 
 abolished. At some period of her life 
 she had buried a husband and two 
 sons. 
 
 Leaning back and displaying as much 
 of her foot and ankle as she very well 
 could, talking in a loud, convulsive manner, 
 and smiling at one side of her mouth — 
 the side where her teeth fitted best, probabl} 
 — she struck me as being a remarkably 
 bold, rude woman. 
 
 Clem had put herself into an attitude 
 and sat silent, gazing into Mr. Lovering's 
 face. He looked at her, but I cared
 
 232 A woman's requital. 
 
 neither for the expression o^'his eye nor 
 raouth. 
 
 Their conversation was about the balls 
 of the preceding season, and the probable 
 doings of the next. 
 
 '^ You are going to give a ball, are you 
 not, Mr. Lovering ? I have never been 
 to one here, but aunt has described it to 
 me." 
 
 '' Yes," continued the cunning old aunt, 
 throwing all the emotion she was capable 
 of into her voice and eyes ; " / remember 
 the last ball — only too well." 
 
 The squire moved uneasily, and looked 
 at me. 
 
 What did he look at me for ? I neither 
 knew nor cared, but he perceived that 1 
 had heard by the smile that curled my lips. 
 
 He was vexed. I detected the rasping 
 curtness, though his tone was bantering
 
 A woman's requital. 233 
 
 and sufficientty real to pass for genuine 
 with the two women who were strugghng 
 to charm him. 
 
 Charm him ! I felt a hot rush of con- 
 scious power speed through my body as I 
 considered how incapable they were of 
 doing it. 
 
 Not all the smiles and graces they were 
 possessed of could elicit one responsive 
 smile from him — one smile with warmth 
 in it — or call a single gleam of light into 
 his eye. 
 
 Admire them he might, as men will any 
 woman. But love ? — never ! And I was 
 glad, aye, glad, and a fool for being glad. 
 I knew that I was more of his order — 
 that he did not shrink from the touch of 
 my hand as he did from Mrs. Fantail's. 
 The poles were not further apart than they 
 were ; while we
 
 234 A woman's requital. 
 
 '^ My dear Miss Sharland ! so pleased to 
 see you," murmured saintly tones at my 
 side. 
 
 I turned, and for the first time observed 
 Mrs. Duckworth. The recolleetion of her 
 only visit, and the sort of admonition she 
 thought I required then, so coincided with 
 her voice and manner noiVj that I looked 
 into her abashed face and — laughed. 
 
 But it was easily accounted for. She 
 found me in the squire's house ; so I — I 
 must be respectable, and it behoved her 
 not to offend those who befriended me. 
 
 My laugh caused Mr, Lovering to look 
 sharply in my direction. Perhaps he 
 thought I might be hysterical. He got 
 rewarded for his pains by a tap from Miss 
 Kirkham's fan. 
 
 My countenance was composed enough 
 to have sat at *' meeting" with. I was
 
 A woman's requital. 235 
 
 attentively listening to Mrs. Duckworth's 
 ingenious defence for neglecting me. 
 
 " Amy and Charlie are here," she smil- 
 ingly said ; *' they will be so pleased to see 
 
 you." 
 
 " Pray don't disturb them/' I replied, 
 seeing her glance in the direction of a 
 lanky young woman ; " and I think we 
 are going in to dinner." 
 
 We were. 
 
 In his way round the room the squire 
 stopped by m'e, and resting his hand for 
 one instant on my shoulder, said : 
 
 '' I wish -" 
 
 *' William," called Miss Naomi, and he 
 passed on. 
 
 A man from Ceylon fell to my share — 
 a perfectly polite little fellow, with a bald 
 head, a round face, and bright black, bird- 
 like eyes. I moved on with the others^
 
 236 A woman's requital. 
 
 hoping my place might be somewhere 
 where I could catch a glimpse of Mr. 
 Levering. It was all very strange and 
 uninteresting to me, so far. 
 
 At last we are settled at table, and there 
 are more people than I at first thought. 
 
 I don't know any of them, and I feel, 
 if my little Ceylon man would only get 
 something very nice to eat, and cease trying 
 to entertain me, I should derive plenty of 
 amusement from listening. 
 
 Alas I nothing is further from his inten- 
 tion ; he commences with redoubled vigour, 
 turning his dumpy face towards mine, and 
 thereby enabling me to decide that the poor 
 thing had an affection of the liver. 
 
 Before the soup has gone round I have 
 uttered several " no's" and " yes's." 
 
 My replies have been short, because he 
 had only a quarter of my attention, though
 
 A woman's requital. 237 
 
 I plainly perceived he flattered himself he 
 had it all. I am a long way from the 
 master, and cannot see his face for a 
 quantity of forms. 
 
 This is my first dinner-party, my first 
 party of any kind, and I mean to enjoy it. 
 It is all novel to me. In my yomiger 
 days I had imagined how it would be, and 
 longed to go, if only once. 
 
 But that desire had burnt itself out, and 
 now it was realized. Here I was at a 
 party ! 
 
 The light, warmth, glittering glass and 
 silver, the scent of the flowers, the frag- 
 ments of conversation, lulled me into a 
 strange far-off recollection that closed my 
 senses to the speeches of my partner. 
 
 What business had I here 1 — I, who had 
 never seen half the things that graced the 
 board — did not even know their names?
 
 238 A woman's requital. 
 
 Did these people know — did the man at 
 my side — that I was a poor governess, 
 ahnost alone in the world, living in two 
 rooms in a farmhouse ? 
 
 I was mad even to come here ; I was an 
 impostor ! 
 
 Startled at this conclusion, I looked up, 
 seeking in my distress the only face that 
 said anything to me. I found it full of 
 light and interest that quieted every un- 
 happy feeling and made me content. 
 
 He had moved his seat more to one 
 side, as if he defined my distress, my lone- 
 liness, fenced in by all those strange 
 people, and knew his presence would re- 
 assure me. It did ; for I could see him 
 when I wanted, and he could send a smile 
 down the long table from time to time. 
 
 Things went better after this, and I 
 enjoyed my dinner. The champagne
 
 A woman's requital. 239 
 
 stirred the blood in my veins, and I tried 
 to make myself pleasant to Mr. Hastings. 
 
 We had to suit our conversation to our 
 knowledge, for neither of us knew any- 
 thing of the other's life or place of abode. 
 He had returned from Ceylon after an 
 absence of years, and his native place was 
 Scotland. I knew nothing of either Scot- 
 land or Ceylon, except from books. 
 
 This he did not discover for some time. 
 
 " You speak as if you knew, Miss Shar- 
 land ; as if you had seen the places." 
 
 *' So I have, in imagination, and very 
 likely through living alone I have got into 
 the habit of entering more deeply into 
 descriptions and books I read." 
 
 '^ You read a great deal, T suppose T 
 
 *'As much as ever I can. There is a 
 good library in Danver, and I get books 
 from there."
 
 240 A woman's requital. 
 
 *'No doubt you find Danver a nice place 
 t© reside in. Plenty of visiting, which I 
 am sure you must enjoy." 
 
 I smiled, and made no reply. I per- 
 ceived how completely astray the poor 
 man was, and I did not care to enter into 
 an explanation for the benefit of the 
 people near, vrhom I noticed listening to 
 us. Perhaps they had taken me for a 
 mute, when first we sat down. 
 
 Dinner stretched itself out wonderfully, 
 and I wearied. I supposed it was habit, 
 good-breeding, but they seemed to me 
 to gloat over their food, and prolong 
 the disposal of it in a truly sickening 
 manner. 
 
 At last the fruit was handed, and it 
 made me long to go into the garden. 
 This course was hastened, though to my 
 mind by far the pleasantest, and we ladies
 
 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 241 
 
 trooped out of the room, leaving the 
 gentlemen masters of the situation. 
 
 The dresses now engrossed my attention, 
 and I thought how much money and how 
 little taste had been expended. 
 
 An old lady took possession of the seat 
 next to mine. She was the wife of the 
 one-eyed colonel, and one of the nicest 
 ladies in the room. 
 
 Her kind voice and simple manner won 
 my heart, and I replied to her questions 
 without hesitation. 
 
 " And you live alone, my dear '?" she 
 repeated, laying her fine jewelled hand on 
 mine. " It makes me feel ashamed to own 
 to any nervousness when you are so high- 
 minded and brave." 
 
 Mrs. Fantail, with the lovely Clem on 
 her arm, had drawn near, keeping the door 
 well in view, so that she might pounce 
 
 VOL. I. 16
 
 242 A WOMAN S REQUITAL. 
 
 directly upon the gentlemen. Her loud 
 tones now chimed in with : 
 
 " Alone ! You must be mistaken, my 
 dear Mrs. Moreland. Surely you do not 
 live alone. How dreadful !" 
 
 Her harsh voice had the desired effect. 
 She attracted everyone's attention, which 
 was evidently what she sought to do, 
 hoping very likely to disconcert me, and 
 force from me an avowal of my humble 
 circumstances. Good Mrs. Moreland was 
 visibly distressed. 
 
 The faces of consternation and contempt 
 tickled my fancy, and I thought, '^ Shorn 
 of your husbands and fathers, left to fend 
 for yourselves, it is easy to predict the 
 road you would each and all take." 
 
 I resolved to strain their mercy — their 
 tender feelings — to the last degree. .1 
 knew I should be amply rewarded by
 
 A woman's requital. 243 
 
 watching the various expressions of annoy- 
 ance and offence that swept over their dull 
 visages when I gave out my true position. 
 
 '* Yes, it is quite correct ; I live alone. 
 I lodge with Mr. Lovering's dairy- worn an 
 at Upholland Farm. I can bake, iron, 
 make butter, feed the pigs, milk the cows, 
 tend the lambs and poultry, sweep the 
 rooms, paint, paper and whitewash, cook the 
 dinner — that is when there is any to cook !' 
 
 Here they looked at my hands, smaller 
 and whiter than any of theirs. 
 
 " In short, there is little you cannot do, 
 romancing included ? Sorry to interrupt 
 this one, but I have something to show 
 you. Miss Sharland." 
 
 END OF VOL. I. 
 
 BILLING AND SONS, PRINTERS AND ELECTKOTVPERS, GUILDFORD.