L I B R.ARY 
 
 OF THL 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
 or ILLINOIS 
 
 82.3 
 Ou8
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 A STORY, 
 
 ' Uu fonte sorge in lei, che vaghe e monde 
 A I'acque si, che i riguardanti asseta 
 Ma dentro ai freddi suoi cristalli asconde 
 Di tosco estran malvagita secreta 
 
 Lunge la bocca disdegnosa e schiva 
 Torcete voi dall' acque. '—Tasso. 
 
 IN THREE VOLUMES. 
 VOL. 1. 
 
 LONDON : 
 TINSLEY BROTHERS, 18, CATHERINE ST., STRAND. 
 
 1868. 
 
 \^All Eights reserved.^
 
 JOHN OHILDS AND SON, PKINTERS.
 
 CO 
 
 tn 
 
 CD 
 
 \ 
 
 u./ 
 
 CONTENTS OF VOL. I 
 
 
 I. IN WHICH THE MAJOR IS A LITTLE PUT 
 OUT . . 
 
 II. OVERLAND VIA MARSEILLES 
 
 III. BRAHMINS 
 
 IV. THE MOTH AND THE FLAME 
 
 V. THE brigadier's GATES 
 
 VI. A SECRETARY OF STATE 
 
 VII. THE MOUSETRAP . . 
 
 ^ VIII. THE WOMAN IN LAVENDER 
 
 ^^- 
 I 
 
 4 
 
 IX. THE MAN IN SKY-BLUE 
 
 X. COLD-WATER CURE 
 
 1 
 
 25 
 45 
 65 
 115 
 151 
 185 
 220 
 234 
 247
 
 Digitized by the Internet Archive 
 
 in 2009 with funding from 
 
 University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/outofmeshesstory01lond
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 IN WHICH THE MAJOR IS A LITTLE PUT OUT. 
 
 I CALL him ' the Major/ because wherever he 
 went he was always called ' the Major,' be- 
 fore all other Majors ; but he figured in the 
 Army List as Major Pulfington Belper of the- 
 44th Nowgong Native Infantry (Bengal Estab- 
 lishment), and had just come up on fort duty 
 to Calcutta, direct from the jungles of Shikar- 
 pore. He rose on Tuesday at ' gunfire,' visited 
 his sentries, came home, took off his uniform, 
 and as he Avas coming out once more from his 
 quarters, the native postman presented him 
 with a letter. 
 
 This letter was addressed ' Shikarpore,
 
 2 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 East Indies/ and then in another hand, ' Try 
 Barrackpore !* and then in a third ' Gone to 
 Port WilHam/ These details are necessary in 
 
 order to enable vou to understand how the 
 
 1/ 
 
 Major Avas put out on the Tuesday morning. 
 Had that letter been received, as it should 
 have been, on the 15th of October, instead of 
 the 6th of November, the events of the pre- 
 sent chapter would never have occurred. The 
 letter was from an old maiden sister residing 
 at Budleigh Salterton, Devon ; but before we 
 come to its contents I have a word or two to 
 say about the Major himself. 
 
 Although he is rather proud of his phy- 
 sique, and always weighing himself and mea- 
 suring the girth of his chest, if I had to de- 
 scribe him on a first glance, in one word, I 
 should call him, I think, a grotesque man. 
 Upon a shambling ungainly figure he wears 
 the ill-fitting jungly costume he has brought 
 with him from ' up country,' an old shooting 
 jacket, brown trousers, no waistcoat, a black 
 neck-tie round the waist, a pith helmet of droll 
 shape, and a pair of spectacles. His whis-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 3 
 
 kers, hair, and moustaches, as is often the case 
 with sandy hair, are spare, lank, and by no 
 means pliant to the art of the hair-dresser. 
 His nose is red, and will keep red, although its 
 owner is the most temperate of Indian officers. 
 Another point — a sore one — which if you 
 wish to approach you must approach with 
 great care — the waist of Captain and Brevet 
 Major Pulfington Belper is more the waist of 
 a Brevet Major than that of a Captain. He 
 seldom walks abroad without that bamboo 
 club you see in his hand, and as for the ex- 
 trinsic look of dignity which he also carries 
 along with him, I think that if it were either 
 absent or more ill-fitting he would not be so 
 grotesque as he at present appears. 
 
 And now to pierce the husk and get at 
 the mind and soul — the grotesque inner man 
 concealed within this grotesque exterior. He 
 is very weak, very good-natured, very vain, 
 rather selfish, very sentimental, and very warm- 
 hearted. There is a deference to authorities 
 and rank about him, so ridiculously excessive, 
 that you would think that the Great Snob-
 
 4 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ograpJier would have chronicled him, had he 
 met him; and yet no one could be two 
 minutes in the Major's company, without per- 
 ceiving that this oddly dressed awkward wor- 
 shipper of the big-wig was a simple-hearted 
 gentleman of much refined feehng. His ven- 
 eration is different from that of the Cavalier 
 to the Royal Martyr, and seems local, Asiatic, 
 more than royal — imperial. Does any such 
 miasma haunt the stately palace tombs of de- 
 parted officers of state, lurking in their fra- 
 grant gardens, their cool fountains, and under 
 their graceful cupolas ? Or did the new 
 Mogul, John Company Bahador, take over the 
 imperial iiselins and sizedas, the head buffet- 
 ings and ground hissings, along with the 
 Delhi sceptre and the Peacock throne ? The 
 Major, like many other Anglo-Indians, was 
 accustomed to salam, and he did this with 
 some grace. Indeed there was a presence of 
 true dignity in the midst of his awkwardness, 
 and an absence of true dignity in his self- 
 assertion which were most puzzling. 
 
 But perhaps the most contradictory point
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 5 
 
 of all was the Major's mind. About any- 
 tliing immediately under his nose, a school- 
 girl could give a more sound opinion ; but if 
 the subject discussed was at all out of the way, 
 or even geographically removed, say to a dis- 
 tance of thirty miles, then the Major's opinion 
 was likely to be sounder than that of any of 
 his comrades, for his reading was more out of 
 the ordinary track, and his judgment (beyond 
 a radius of thirty miles) was fair. And it was 
 singular how constantly he passed and re- 
 passed this thirtieth milestone in ordinary 
 conversation, in contrast with the practical 
 common-place people with whom his lot w^as 
 cast. There seemed to be a law that he 
 should never say anything that was not in- 
 tensely idiotic, or very good. 
 
 But we are keeping him waiting a little 
 too long. During all this time, he has been 
 busily deciphering his sister's letter, which is 
 very long and very much crossed, after the 
 manner of overland letters. We must con- 
 clude. In forty-five years Major Pulfington 
 Belper had never made an enemy, never made
 
 6 OUT OE THE MESHES. 
 
 anybody fall in love with liim, never done 
 anything which Sir Lancelot of the Lake or 
 Sir James Outram would have blushed at. 
 Also in all that time he had hardly met man 
 or woman, who did not like him immensely, 
 and did not laugh at him still more im- 
 mensely. 
 
 The letter of Miss Anne Belper referred 
 chiefly to the affairs of the village of Budleigh 
 Salterton, which do not come within the pro- 
 vince of this narrative. This was one para- 
 graph near the end of it: — 
 
 'By the by, I am forgetting — Charley 
 Simpkin, the eldest son of a great friend of 
 mine here, is going to Lidia on the 14th Sep- 
 tember. He is a very nice good-looking 
 young man, and, as I hear, of excellent princi- 
 ples. I am rather confusing the matter and 
 forgetting whether he lands at Madras or Cal- 
 cutta, but when you meet him pray be kind 
 to him. Mrs Simpkin is one of my oldest 
 friends. I think I heard his steamer was the 
 Bdbelmandeb! 
 
 Here the Major's difficulties fairly begin.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 7 
 
 He must positively find out whether this Mr 
 Charles Sinipkin is coming to Calcutta, for 
 he knows the Bahelmandeh is hourly expected. 
 But to do this he must go to the United 
 Service Club : and he feels that he has come 
 from the jungles, and has no fashionable 
 clothes, and people in Calcutta are very ex- 
 acting in the subject of dress. His tailor has 
 disappointed him, or he would have had some 
 by this time. The Club represents Calcutta, 
 the seat of Government — Government itself. 
 Many of the highest functionaries are usually 
 there, and the Governor- General himself is 
 often as good as present in the person of his 
 splendid Aide-de-camp, Captain Lemesurier, 
 to say nothing of a bosom friend of the latter. 
 Captain Spink of the Body Guard. On the 
 other hand, the monthly letter from Budleigh 
 Salterton is the sole link between Major Pulf- 
 ington Belper and the land of his fathers. 
 It speaks of home as well as of the yellow 
 gorse which crowns the red sandstone cliffs of 
 Devon. To allow Mr Charles Simpkin to 
 land in India without a welcome, seems the
 
 8 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 same in liis eyes as refusing the first boon his 
 family have claimed for five-and-twenty years. 
 In the end, the brave officer buttoned his shabby 
 coat about his chest and trudged off towards 
 the Club, but not until after a severe struQrde 
 in his strangely constituted mind, which pro-" 
 ceeded from the conflict of two principles, or 
 perhaps two eccentric offshoots of the same 
 principle — the Major's excessive reverence. 
 
 ' Here he is ! ' 
 
 There must be something peculiar about 
 a gentleman who is received with the cry of 
 ' here he is ! ' by all the members of so de- 
 corous an establishment as a Club directly he 
 enters it. Five voices raised this shout, five 
 members of the Civil Government of India. 
 All five were sipping their brandy and soda- 
 water in the cool of the verandah, and sprawl- 
 ing on huge cane-work fabrics which could 
 not be called mere arm-chairs. All five were 
 dressed in dandy blue frock-coats, white hats, 
 and buff trousers, and were in Calcutta study- 
 ing to pass the college. All five were con- 
 sidered verv fast, but as Calcutta amusements
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 9 
 
 are not numerous tlieir dissipations seemed 
 chiefly confined to buying a great many 
 horses and buggies, and running heavily into 
 debt in the books of the Jiidaligunge Bank. 
 
 ' Hulloa, Major, how did you sleep last 
 night ? ' 
 
 'Hulloa, Major, how's the ''crow-bar" this 
 morning?' (this was some billiard-table wit.) 
 
 ' No, no, I know what the Major wants, 
 four to one against " Villikins " for the Cove- 
 nanted Handicap.' 
 
 ' Any news from Bagdad this mornhig ? ' 
 
 The Major had seized the Army List, and 
 had discovered that Mr Charles Simpkin was 
 a cadet on the Bengal establishment — whilst 
 these questions were being simultaneously 
 fired at him. As it was quite impossible that 
 he could answer them all at once, he selected 
 the last — which happened to be a mysterious 
 reference to the great Calcutta beauty, Juha 
 AVotherspoon. 
 
 'I say, young fellow, you mustn't really 
 make allusions to the daughter of an Opium 
 Commissioner, in this public manner. She's
 
 10 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 really a very fine girl, and it'll be a long time 
 before she thinks of a boy like you. Why, 
 she was barely civil to me last night at the 
 band. I don't know what's come to the 
 young women now-a-days. Hey ! ' 
 
 ' I think she likes you. Major.' 
 
 ' Well, to tell you the truth, I thought she 
 did at first, but you can never tell. We 
 mustn't really discuss ladies in this way, 
 though. 1 think she'll look higher than any 
 of us — you knoAv mercenary marriages have 
 been common in India for a long time. Did 
 not Crislmu marry Ruchni, the goddess of 
 wealth — married her for her money, hey ! ' 
 
 * I am sorry you are so disturbed in your 
 feehngs. Major. There never yet was 2i field- 
 officer that could endure the toothache pa- 
 tiently.' 
 
 It was a fact that the Major, a most sus- 
 ceptible man, had really fallen in love with the 
 Bulhiil of Bagdad, as he called her in one of 
 his most idiotic of moods. And on the sub- 
 ject of his sudden regard for her he had al- 
 ready taken into his confidence these and
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 11 
 
 several other members of the Club. His five 
 young friends also loved Miss Wotherspoon. 
 They rode with her, laughed with her, flirted 
 with her, and nudged and whispered together 
 about her in quiet corners, contemning other 
 beauties, to the disgust of mercenary mam- 
 mas. They had entered themselves for the 
 same prize in love as well as in the handicap 
 of ' Covenanted ' Bengal civilians. And far 
 from regarding their rival, the Major, with any 
 feehngs of ill-will and jealousy, they were all 
 the better friends with him on that account. 
 They fleeced him at billiards, drove him about 
 Calcutta, laughed at him, and approached the 
 topic of their common weakness with great 
 frankness and good humour. 'Twas in this 
 manner that that paradoxical emotion, human 
 love, first showed its symptoms in the breasts 
 of those worthy but dissipated young men, 
 Messrs Helter, Skelter, Pelter, Welter, and 
 Mr Chiff'ney Chaff'ney. 
 
 ' Major ! ' said the latter gentleman, a 
 small, dark, pert-looking young man with a 
 reputation for wit — and receiving no reply, for
 
 12 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 the Major had suddenly remembered again the 
 object of his visit to the Club, and was deep in 
 the morning paper — the Bengal HurJcaru, Mr 
 ChifFney ChafFney repeated more emphatically 
 ' Major Pulfington Belper ! ' 
 
 ' Good heavens ! ' said the Major with 
 sudden horror; 'avo regret to have to an- 
 nounce the demise, from an attack of cholera 
 morbus, of Lieut.-Col. Dowling, C.B., Hon. 
 Company's Resident at the court of His High- 
 ness the Nav/aub of Nawaubo-unoie — ' 
 
 ' Major Pulfington Belper/ said Mr Chiff- 
 ney ChafFney once more. 
 
 ' Yes, yes ; what is it ? ' 
 
 ' I wish to ask you a question ! ' • 
 
 ' All right — this is very important news 
 from Nawaubgunge/ 
 
 ' Might I ask you the address of your 
 tailor ? ' 
 
 A great deal of laughter foUoAved this 
 speech, and indeed almost every speech that 
 had yet been spoken, as the young men, though 
 not always witty, seemed to have an uninter- 
 rupted flow of animal spirits. And to increase
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 13 
 
 the Major's bewilderment, two other members 
 entered as the words passed Mr Chiffney 
 ChafFney's Hps. One seemed a genuine Pail- 
 Mall dandy, and the other a Calcutta copy of 
 the same article, whose coat and whiskers had 
 suffered slightly from the mildew of the mon- 
 soon, and whose liver had also been affected 
 by that trying period. These were Captains 
 Lemesurier, the Aide-de-camp, and his bosom 
 friend and copyist, Spink of the Body Guard. 
 These gentlemen sat apart, as they hated the 
 young civilians, who had rather cut them out 
 as leaders of fashion, and whom they affected 
 to call ' school-boys.' 
 
 ' I don't think that an officer should come 
 in such a dress to the Club ! ' said Captain 
 Spink of the j)oor Major. 
 
 ' An officer ! Who ? ' 
 
 ' He 's a Major — named Belper, I think.' 
 
 ' Oh — aw — aw — I see now^ ; by officer you 
 mean, aw — aw" — Company's officer.' 
 
 ' You are a Company's officer just now,' 
 said Captain Spink sternly. 
 
 'Aw — aw — I catch the allusion, I mean
 
 14 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 wegular Company's officers — a Avum lot — 
 native officers ! ' 
 
 ' T must inform you, Captain Lemesurier, 
 that the Body Guard of the Governor- General 
 is composed entirely of native troops — ' 
 
 ' Who's talking of Cavalwy ? ' drawled the 
 Aide-de-camp. These skirmishes between 
 the bosom friends were frequent, and instead 
 of imperilling their friendship seemed to be the 
 condition of its vitality. 
 
 'Oh, that 's a different thing,' said the 
 other Captain, much pacified. A black servant 
 in flowing white robes here brought two cups 
 of tea, which the officers in their huge arm- 
 chairs proceeded lazily to enjoy together with 
 their cheroots, and the cool morning breeze, 
 and the view of the Calcutta Maidan, whose 
 broad green expanse was stretched out under 
 their noses. Crowds of busy natives were 
 hurrying along the road before the Club, and 
 afar the rays of the morning sun twinkled 
 upon the bayonets of the Port sentries, and Kt 
 up the river and the flags of the Indiamen 
 there anchored. To the right, English car-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 15 
 
 riages whisked by the trim laAvns in front of 
 Government House, and far away to the left 
 was a cloud of smoke as dense as that which 
 issued from the fisherman's jar when the seal 
 of Suleiman was removed. This, though ob- 
 jectively it comes from the coal-bunks of the 
 P. and O. Company's steamship Bahelmandeh, 
 is to cast a shade upon the life of every gentle- 
 man now seated in the cool verandah. It 
 breaks, and there comes forth — an enchanter ? 
 — no, an enchantress. 
 
 But the calm scene is disturbed just now 
 in another way. ' Confound those school- 
 boys!' says Captain Lemesurier in a very 
 audible voice to his friend; and the school- 
 boys, on their side, to the intense horror of 
 Major Pulfington Belper, have come to the 
 determination of ' having some fun ' with the 
 splendid captains. They rise like a flight of 
 hornets and settle on some other chairs much 
 nearer, and Mr ChifFney ChafFney begins the 
 ball by oflering the Aide-de-camp the odds 
 of four to one on ' Villikins ' for the Covenant- 
 ed Handicap.
 
 16 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 Captain Lemesiirier looks abstractedly at 
 Mr CIiifFiiey ChafFney, and then turns his eyes 
 away in a dreamy manner. After a few 
 seconds he again suddenly looks Mr ChifFney 
 ChafFney full in the face, and says abruptly, — 
 
 ' By the by, did not somebody address me 
 — you, sir ? ' 
 
 But this ingenuity fails to abash Mr ChifF- 
 ney ChafFney in the least. He replies with 
 great good-humour, — • 
 
 ' I ofFered you the odds of four to one 
 about " Villikins " for the Covenanted Handi- 
 cap.' 
 
 ' Covenanted! Covenanted!' said the Aide- 
 de-camp, with simulated bewilderment. ' You 
 see, sir, I have so little knowledge of colonial 
 manners. Covenanted ! I thought it had 
 something to do with Jews. Aw — aw — I 
 never bet with Jews.' 
 
 ' The word " Covenanted,'" said Mr ChifF- 
 ney ChafFney, ' is applied by the East India 
 Directors to their regular civil servants, for 
 reasons best known to those world-renowned 
 but somewhat idiotic traders. And it has this
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 17 
 
 miicli to do with Jews, that the younger civil- 
 ians borrow a great deal of money from Jews, 
 including Turks, infidels, and other heretics, 
 who lend money at 20 per cent.' 
 
 The immense laughter of the young men 
 at this speech threw the Captain quite off his 
 balance ; he replied with much asperity, and 
 this time with very little drawl, — 
 
 ' Thank you, you are very kind, but I only 
 bet with people who are grown up.' 
 
 ' Bet with Welter, then,' said the ready 
 wit, ' he 's grown up !' and as far as regarded 
 bulk and fat this statement was true. 
 
 The renewed laughter of the young men 
 made Captain Lemesurier very angry indeed. 
 In his reply his drawl had quite disappeared, 
 and he articulated the r with the same dis- 
 tinctness that he did in the presence of the 
 Governor- General. 
 
 ' Look here, sir, look here, gentlemen ! I 
 am much obliged to you for your offer of a 
 bet, but I don't bet in India; I am much 
 obliged to you for your society, which I did 
 not in any way seek. Your wit, I dare say, is 
 
 VOL. I. 2
 
 18 OUT OF TPIE MESHES. 
 
 veiy funny, but I don't understand Indian 
 wit, or indeed colonial manners, it being my 
 misfortune to be accustomed only to the 
 usages of another society — where, in the case 
 of impertinence, if the offender is old enough 
 to be brought to book — ' 
 
 ' Gentlemen, gentlemen,' said the Major, 
 Avho had watched this conflict between the 
 civil and military branches of the service with 
 unspeakable horror, 'this must not go on. 
 It really must not.' 
 
 ' Stop, Captain Lemesurier,' said Mr 
 Welter in a voice of thunder, ' I'm quite old 
 enough to be brought to book — and let's 
 first consider your speech, '' J) — these school- 
 boys "— ' 
 
 But here Mr Welter was in turn inter- 
 rupted by his friend Mr Helter, who jumped 
 on his back with the cry, ' Shut up ! ' It is 
 impossible to carry on a dignified altercation 
 with a gentleman riding on your shoulders, 
 and the efforts of Major Pulfington Belper at 
 this point would have brought the discussion 
 to a termination, for he succeeded in re-
 
 OUT OF THE MFSHES. 19 
 
 moving the young civilians to a remote part 
 of the verandah ; but unfortunately he had to 
 return for his hat, which was on the ground 
 by the newspaper he had been reading, and 
 as he stooped down to pick it up, his eye and 
 body became suddenly arrested by the word 
 Balelmandeh, and all his forgotten duties 
 rushed again upon him. In this attitude by 
 singular mischance he looked so like a school- 
 boy giving a back at leap-frog, that Mr 
 Pelter could not resist the temptation, and 
 flew over him with the words, 
 
 ' Captain Spink, do you ever play '' Fly 
 the Garter? '" 
 
 The poor Major's feelings reached a 
 climax when looking up he beheld a new 
 comer, a short plump gentleman staring at 
 him with a face of surprise. 
 
 Mr Palmer Brown of the Bengal Civil 
 Service was in the Secretariat — Indian ears 
 will at once comprehend the significance of 
 the term. He was reputed to be a man of 
 immense official knowledge and power, and 
 the Major, who had known him in former
 
 20 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 days when he held a subordinate office at 
 Nawaubgunge, had a great opinion of him 
 now. Certainly Major Pulfington Belper 
 would prefer being detected doing anything 
 unseemly by any one else in India — hardly 
 excepting the Governor- General himself. Mr 
 Palmer Brown frowned upon the young 
 civilians, but oddly enough his manner to- 
 w^ards the Major was not at all severe. 
 Haughty to every one else, he was always 
 respectful to the man that no one else was 
 respectful to. 
 
 'Does old Belper know of some murder 
 that this little prig has committed ? ' said 
 Mr ChifFney ChafFney. The ' same wonder 
 had struck him more than once. 
 
 When the civilians and the Major had 
 departed, Captain Lemesurier, who was no 
 respecter of persons (at least colonial civilians), 
 discussed past events very freely with Mr 
 Palmer Brown, and that gentleman replied 
 with becoming gravity, but that was nothing to 
 the awe and majesty he assumed when Captain 
 Spink mustered up courage to say to him, —
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 21 
 
 ' Perhaps it is not quite etiquette to ask 
 about this vacant appointment. I suppose 
 no names are mentioned yet/ 
 
 ' Confound these official duffers/ said Cap- 
 tain Lemesurier, ' I Avish a lot more of them 
 would die of cholera morbus. AVe shouldn't 
 then hear so much of them ! ' 
 
 The look of Mr Palmer Brown was now 
 inscrutable in the extreme, and there was 
 this reason for it, that having got up late, he 
 was not really aware that any great official 
 was dead of cholera morbus. 
 
 ' AVhy, really,' he said vaguely, ' it is a 
 little premature, and we pubHc men get the 
 credit for a ffreat deal more knowledoe than 
 we really possess ' (meaning ' we public men 
 don't,' &c.). ' As for the present appointment, 
 Captain Spink will tell you. Captain Lemesu- 
 rier, that it is by no means an unimportant 
 one — ' The Secretary was curious. 
 
 ' No,' said the Captain of the Body Guard. 
 ' A Residencv, as ]\[r Palmer Brown can tell 
 you—' 
 
 ' Is a post that requires diplomatical and
 
 22 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 statesmanlike abilities of a very high order. 
 Its accredited occupant must be a man of 
 great judgment as well as great experience, 
 and in the present case, as Captain Spink 
 can well assure you — ' The Secretary was 
 getting still more curious. 
 
 ' Yes,' said Captain Spink, with a glass in 
 his eye — he was a very short-sighted Cavalry 
 officer, — 'the Residency of Nawaubgunge — ' 
 
 Not many minutes after this Mr Palmer 
 Brown was in his buggy driving like the 
 w^ind. His departure was so abrupt that I 
 fear he had no time to explain to Captain 
 Lemesurier all the intellectual qualities re- 
 quired by Government 'Residents' at native 
 courts. Nawaubgunge in the market, that 
 was indeed great news ! 
 
 'Does old Belper know of some murder 
 that this little prig has committed ? ' 
 
 Here would be a fine opening for a story, 
 but the interest of truth compels me to admit 
 that Major Pulfington Belper does not know" 
 of any murder committed by the present 
 powerful and revered Calcutta public man.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 23 
 
 whose buggy presently whisks past the Field- 
 officer's palanquin carriage (a fabric in the 
 shape of a box, and constructed chiefly of 
 Venetian blinds and rotten wood), and sets 
 that sentimental Field-officer thinking upon 
 a face — a female face. All through the bust- 
 ling bazar, and across the broad glaring 
 grass 3Iaidan, his thoughts were centred upon 
 the face of a very beautiful woman, the most 
 beautiful he had seen during his long career 
 of exile, of battles, of hardships, of deadening 
 monotonous Indian life — a face he once had 
 loved — and that face does not belong to Miss 
 Julia Wotherspoon, whom for the moment he 
 seems to have quite forgotten. 
 
 Back from the past and through the valley 
 of the shade, that face had come, and was be- 
 fore him, in faint outline, once again, reflect- 
 ing all the changes he had seen upon it in 
 one short year, now haughty with beauty, now 
 luminous with tenderness, now defiant, now 
 pale and worn with sorrow, with regret, per- 
 haps Avith shame ; now calm and beautiful 
 once again, but fixed and rigid.
 
 24 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 What had that face to do with Mr 
 Palmer Brown, and why had it come forth 
 from its quiet obHvion, where it and its story 
 were sleeping in a corner of an Indian grave- 
 yard? Was it to be allowed still to sleep 
 there, or was it to be brought back into 
 the glare of matter-of-fact Indian life once 
 again, there to produce another story with 
 some of the features of the mother reflected 
 in the offspring ? 
 
 In the words of a favourite work of the 
 Major's, the Indian drama, the Salcontala, 
 
 ' Everywhere around us 
 
 Stand the closed portals of events unki
 
 25 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 OVERLAND VIA MARSEILLES. 
 
 MISS SOPHY BRABAZOT^" TO MISS DOEA STAIDLEIGH, 
 BUDLEIGH SALTERTOIS", DEVOIS'. 
 
 ' SteamsJiip J^ahelmandeh, Nov. Qth, 18 — . 
 
 ' Dearest Dormouse, — 
 
 ' I wrote a long letter in the hotel 
 at Alexandria, and — think how provoking ! — I 
 left it in my bed-room there. Since then I 
 have not been able to write one line. This 
 place, the saloon, is too noisy for confidential 
 communications, and our correspondence is of 
 course not to deal with the mere common- 
 place topics of the Overland journey. Ah, 
 my dehghtful, sober, grave, dearly beloved 
 Dora, you can have no idea of what I have 
 suffered since I saw you last. You must get 
 on board a big steamer and hurry away into
 
 26 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 real exile before you understand what the mal 
 du pays really means. A little star was just 
 above the horizon over the stern of the vessel 
 for two nights in the Red Sea. I connected 
 this little star somehow with you and home, 
 and was ready to cry whenever I watched it. 
 At Southampton when we steamed away, the 
 morning was wet and drizzly, but I loved it 
 all the more for that, it was so thoroughly 
 English. Mr Vesey left me on deck in charge 
 of an old Colonel Dewsnap, w^ho wanted to go 
 below, but I persuaded him to remain, al- 
 though, to confess it, he was very cross. 
 Such partings ! They Avere quite heart-rend- 
 ing. I can't bear to think of them. As well 
 might I tell you of — the Bay of Biscay. For 
 nearly a week I lived upon tea ! 
 
 ' And yet I seem the most selfish of 
 beings to go on in this way when dear people 
 like Mrs Vesey had so much greater trials to 
 go through. Think of her leaving four chil- 
 dren behind her, and Bobby is only three. 
 Poor creature, she is so kind and gentle, and 
 so full of feeling. Everybody that comes
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 27 
 
 near her ought to be good, Mr Vesey is also 
 kind, and, unlike some of the Indians on 
 board, can talk of other things besides Cal- 
 cutta. Really the greatest drawback to any 
 one clioodng a home in India is this painful 
 separation from one's family. 
 
 ' Apropos, you never talked to me about 
 the coushi. I find that the Dormouse, though 
 demure, is as sly as any other little mouse ! 
 I like Charley Simpkin very much ! He is 
 a nice boy, and made himself very agreeable. 
 Did he talk of you? You kept back your 
 secrets about him, and so I will pay you off. 
 He is full of fun, and some of his pranks were 
 quite wicked, especially towards old " Colonel 
 Dander," as they called Colonel Dewsnap. 
 Would you believe it, they sent him a tele- 
 gram from the Emperor of the French ask- 
 ing after his gout. 
 
 'And now I approach a topic which is 
 very serious. You know that there has al- 
 ways been some mystery about my poor 
 cousin Ada's death at Nawaubgunge. I 
 thought the opportunity of going out in
 
 28 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 charge of Mrs Vesey favourable, as she died 
 in their house and not in Mr Pahner Brown's, 
 — but would you believe it, Mrs Vesey, very 
 frank on all other topics, avoided the subject 
 when once or twice I approached it. What 
 can be the meaning of this ? Did you ever 
 hear that the menage of Ada and her hus- 
 band was an unhappy one ? The subject dis- 
 tresses me very much. I accidentally over- 
 heard Mrs Vesey say to her husband, I am 
 sure apropos of me and Ada, '' Yes, she is 
 very like, astonishingly like ; may she have 
 less trials and less temptations." You know 
 that her miniature is often taken for mine ; 
 indeed, poor papa, and Colonel Brabazon, 
 her father, and my aunt, who married Mr 
 Liversege, to whom I am going in Calcutta, 
 were also all very like. I wish poor dear 
 aunt Liversege was alive now. Well, well, 
 they tell me the present Mrs Liversege is 
 kind. 
 
 ' And now, my dearest dearest, I must 
 wish you good-bye ! I have no spirits to de- 
 scribe the events of the voyage, which was
 
 OUT OF THP] MESHES. 29 
 
 fiuiny eiiongh at times. By the Avay, I might 
 have made one or two captures at sea, but I 
 was very merciful, and like a kind pirate I let 
 them sail on in peace. Also, if I had only 
 time I conld tell you such things of the Over- 
 land millinerjj dejjartment ; for though you 
 and I have exalted minds, quite above such 
 frivolities, a description of some of the dresses 
 would make you laugh. Farewell ! You can't 
 think what a consolation it is to me to com- 
 municate with England and one I love, even 
 by means of a little bit of paper. Love, that 
 misused word, is in its right place for once, in 
 an affection not founded on vanity, selfishness, 
 and the delusions of the lords of the creation. 
 The cold sea foams between us, but it cannot 
 part us, my beloved. A hundred farewells, 
 and mind I place exactly one hundred kisses 
 on the top, on the words, " Dearest Dor- 
 mouse ! " 
 
 ' Yours, 
 
 ' So, So'
 
 30 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ME CHAELES STMPKIN TO MISS DOEA STAIDLEIGK, 
 EEDLEIGH SALTEETON, DETOX. 
 
 ' Steamship 2^alelmandeh, Kedgeree, Nov. Gt/i, 18 — . 
 
 ' My Dear Dora, — 
 
 ' Your friend proves all you de- 
 scribed her. The day before we reached Gib- 
 raltar the sea became smooth, and the weather 
 fine, and a young lady, tallisli, with a graceful 
 pretty figure, nicely dressed, and of pleasant 
 carriage, came on deck and created rather a 
 sensation amongst the pursers, and cadets, 
 and mates, and British officers of foot, who 
 were indulging in the pastime of " Ships 
 Quoits." This maiden, like the Shepherdess 
 of the Eorest of Arden, was possessed of a 
 cheek of cream, and the extreme whiteness of 
 her skin at the forehead and neck was made 
 more manifest by her dark brown hair. Her 
 eyebrows were nicely pencilled, her nose 
 straight, her lips full, her chin in profile pret- 
 tily rounded off. Her eyes wxre at once beau- 
 tiful, pensive, restless, playful, full of pride, 
 full of murder. I happened most fortunately
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 31 
 
 to be playing chess with Mr Vesey at the 
 moment she appeared, and she came and sat 
 down by us and worked at a wonderful slip- 
 per. This turned out to be j\Iiss Sophy Bra- 
 bazon. I managed at once to defend my 
 king from the attacks of Mr Vesey 's pieces, 
 and to tell her that I knew you, and thus get 
 quickly on tolerably friendly terms with her. 
 I must tell you that the superior skill of Mr 
 Vesey, on this occasion at least, gained him 
 the victory. Yes, your friend is beautiful 
 and accomplished, and as for wit and bril- 
 liancy, I, who am a judge, can pass a warm 
 encomium there too. Thanks to her friend- 
 ship for you, I have since seen a great deal of 
 her, in fact I ought to be desperately in love 
 by this time, but I am not. She would 
 assume towards me a sort of warm elder- 
 sisterly patronizing manner, which seemed 
 every moment to say — "I hope you spun your 
 top very cleverly this morning !" — '' Did you 
 win at marbles?" I observe that it is a 
 feminine weakness to consider moustaches in- 
 separable from manliness, and that no virile
 
 32 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 thouglits can lodge in a body five feet six in 
 height, however graceful and ivell formed that 
 body may be ! 
 
 ' You asked for a minute account of the 
 manners and customs of India. The theme 
 is a wide one. At present three facts have 
 most struck me, judging from the effects of 
 the first hot day upon the Indians on board. 
 The first is, that the sun of India makes people 
 burst out profusely into cheroots, alpaca, and 
 bottled beer. The second, that pocket-hand- 
 kerchiefs are made to be worn round the hat. 
 The third, that Indian heat quite suffocates all 
 perception of humour. I have been making 
 some very interesting experiments on this 
 point. You know that fun in all its branches 
 has been a favourite study of mine. I selected 
 ten examples of wit, varied in scale from the 
 most dehcate innuendo of Sheridan to the 
 broadest Joe Miller, and I proceeded to use 
 them as chemical test-papers on the intellects 
 of a Colonel Dewsnap and a Major Worthing- 
 ton, both which intellects had long been ex- 
 posed to the deleterious influences of Indian
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 33 
 
 climate. In the case of the Colonel no sense 
 of the ridiculous was found at all. In the 
 case of the Major faint indications of mirth 
 were obtained at the tenth or Joe-Miller 
 stage. Colonel Dewsnap is a character ! He 
 is stumpy, powerful, fierce, abrupt, with a 
 severe military mouth, snowy hair, and a red- 
 hot face, Avhich fizzes on going into cold water. 
 Having said thus much it is unnecessary to 
 add that his legs are further apart at the 
 knees than at the hips and ancles. Also that 
 another corollary to such a Colonel is a pair of 
 boots Avith excessive beam like a walnut-shell 
 boat. What do you think this worthy Field- 
 officer said to us all as soon as we got on 
 board : — " Now, you young griffs, I'm the 
 senior officer on board, and I'll take care that 
 we have no drunkenness or ungentlemanly 
 conduct in this ship." This was quite gratui- 
 tous, as neither I nor my friends had exhibited 
 the shghtest predilection for ungentlemanly 
 conduct, but at first all this awed us very 
 much. We soon found out, however, that he 
 had not any authority, and you know even the 
 
 VOL. I. 3
 
 34 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ^vorm v»'ill turn. Our first advances ^vere 
 friendly in the extreme. Tiie first " Cham- 
 pagne day " we all asked him to take wine, 
 many of us three times over. This put him 
 in a thundering passion, as self-command is 
 perhaps the least prominent amongst his many 
 excellent qualities. Our next proceedings 
 were also very respectful. In the streets of 
 Malta directly Ave saw him coming Ave all 
 drew up in a line and touched our hats with 
 much deference, and then ran off to meet him 
 again in other streets and repeat the opera- 
 tion. I need not tell our many attentions, 
 which were all taken in bad part. At Alex- 
 andria he received a complimentary telegram 
 from the Emperor of the Prench. This silly 
 Colonel is making me forget Miss Sophy. Is 
 she, or is she not, a bit of a flirt ? That is a 
 question Avhich puzzles me. Daly of the Hus- 
 sars (a man of fascinations) gave her some 
 opportunities of indulging in that engaging 
 pastime, but I think on the Avhole he Avas un- 
 successful, and even the splendid Captain 
 Stubbs of the " Bahelmandeh " (Captains of
 
 OUT or THE MESHES. 35 
 
 Indian steamers have to pass an examination 
 in three things,— whiskers, navigation, and 
 vocal melody) gave the most tremendous 
 naval orders in the niost graceful attitudes, 
 aired the most picturesque of naval coats, told 
 the most mendacious of naval ficUons, and 
 sang the most plaintive of our maritime bal- 
 lads, all — all in vain. I find this perplexing 
 young woman has taken up so much of my 
 letter that I have no room for an account of 
 Malta, Gibraltar, Cairo, the grandest of the 
 grand, or even for the sunsets of the Red Sea, 
 sky and deep bathed in tossing heaving clouds 
 of luminous fire. They say we shall be at 
 Kedgeree, w^here this is to be posted, in five 
 minutes. Last night we noticed that the blue 
 sea was getting yellow^er and yellow^er, and this 
 morning we could scarcely believe we were 
 yet in India. On either side of the vessel 
 was a broad expanse of yellow^ haze, so dreamy 
 and misty, that but for the finest possible 
 black line it would be almost impossible to 
 tell where the sky ended and where the calm 
 glassy surface of the river began. This line
 
 36 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 as the banks iiearecl on eacli side proved to 
 be low jungle, proved to be India. The 
 steward is calling out — '' Anv more letters 
 for the Hoverland?" Adieu. 
 
 ' Yours, very sincerely, 
 
 ' Charles Simpkin.' 
 
 ME CHAELES SIMPETX TO MISS DOEA STAIDLEIGH, 
 BUDLEIGH SALTEETOy, DETOX. 
 
 ' Z7. >S'. Cluh, Calcutta, Nov. Uth, 18—. 
 
 ' My Dear Dora, — 
 
 ' Since my last from Kedgeree I 
 find so much to write about. The steamer 
 dashed up the river, passing ships, light- 
 houses, frail native boats with their sails full 
 of holes, groups of mud-huts called native 
 villages, budgerows, villas on beautiful green 
 lawns waving with palms and tamarisks — and 
 at length we saw a flag flying on a rampart. 
 This was Fort AVilliani. 
 
 ' The Bahelmandeh ran alongside the steam- 
 packet wharf at Garden Reach, and I Avas 
 watching Sophy consigned to Mr and Mrs
 
 OIT OF THE M V.SUES. 37 
 
 Livorsogo, her uncle aiul aunt, when one of 
 tlio stewards calling out *" That's llensign 
 Slinking!'* lieralded the apparition o( a 
 gentleman dressed something like a game- 
 keeper and sivaiething like a baker. I lis coat 
 was shabby velveteen, and his dnek trousers. 
 his thin long hair, his pith hat. and his strag- 
 gling whiskers, were all coloured light sandy 
 brown. lie wore no waistcoat, and had put 
 on. I suppose by mistake, his black neck-tie 
 round his waist. Two shrimps' anfenruc did 
 duty for moustache>, and he addressed me 
 Avith a dignity evidently modelled on that of 
 the Georgian age, asking after his sister, and 
 telling me that 1 must come and \)\n up with 
 him in Fort AVilliani. This was ^liss I'elper's 
 brother. 
 
 * All the while I was talking to liim a 
 crowd of native savages were howling round 
 ns as if they wished to tear us to pieces. 
 ^[ajor Tultington IndiHU' spid^e a few magical 
 words to these men, and in an in.stant every 
 article of my luggage was in some man's 
 liands, and all u-oinu* otk as it seemed, in dil-
 
 38 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ferent directions. These men are called 
 Coolies, a delicate allusion no donbt, first, to 
 the lightness of their attire, and, secondly, to 
 the calm self-confidence which enables them 
 to appear in such costume unabashed. 
 
 ' I have now to record a very singular cir- 
 cumstance, which says a great deal either for 
 the extreme beauty of Sophy Brabazon, or for 
 the susceptibilities of my new and eccentric 
 friend. We were on our way to the gangway, 
 and had to pass near the companion ladder, 
 and just as we did so. Miss Sophy appeared 
 there, having been down to her cabin. My 
 new friend has a habit of looking at his boots 
 as he walks along, perhaps - beqause those 
 boots are of eccentric pattern, thus it hap- 
 pened that he did not see her until he nearly 
 ran up against her. You should have seen 
 his wonderful look when first confronted with 
 her dazzling charms. Positively he started 
 back three paces, cannoning against a stalwart 
 British seaman w^ith a huge trunk on his head, 
 and then tumbling backwards into a large tin 
 basket of dirty crockery which one of the
 
 OUT OF THE I\IE?IIES. 39 
 
 stewards liad accidentally left there. Fancy 
 a very nice-mannered elderly gentleman, with 
 his heels high up in the air, looking at you 
 with the most bewildered of looks, through 
 his spectacles and from the bottom of a case 
 of smashed crockery, and you have the scene. 
 ' Ensign Simpkin now placed his foot on 
 the soil of Hindustan, as they say in Indian 
 newspapers, and the Major, after looking for 
 his carriao'e and faihns; to find it, said, to the 
 Ensign's great joy, that ^YQ should each go iu 
 a palJcee, which mode of carriage, by-the-by, is 
 known by the name of idolanquin in the 
 British isles, for some reasons best known to 
 those eccentric islanders. The Major pro- 
 ceeded to hail a couple, or rather a couple of 
 dozen, for at least that nuniber surrounded us, 
 each having four carriers, all of whom sang 
 out together in chorus, that form of singing 
 being apparently the best suited to the 
 Indian voice. The Major again lulled the 
 storm by a few magic words. If all we read 
 of India be true, I fear that these, from their 
 instantaneous effect, must have been terms of
 
 40 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 gross abuse. I now tried to get into my 
 palkee (not palanquin), but tliis is not easy at 
 first. Yoa have to roll yourself into a ball 
 and throw yourself in at the window. And 
 when I did get in I found I had got in the 
 wrong way, and my head was resting against 
 the brass handles of a drawer for a pillow. 
 The bearers run you along at a surprising 
 pace, chanting '' Foo ! FooT' or words to that 
 effect. AVe passed a lazar, a real, dusty, 
 frugal, mean, Indian lazar, with its little 
 shops for the retail of parched peas, its nude 
 infants, its black men scantily clothed in 
 whity-brown cotton. We saw real carts of 
 primeval pattern, drawn by oxen; real In- 
 dian cabs, the elclut, Avith its little cotton 
 canopy and red cushion ; real Indian women, 
 with their Sarees and CJmddahs, and with one 
 arm and both legs bangled and bare ; real 
 Brahmins with their yellow streaks, and men- 
 dicants with their ashes and loam ; real little 
 Indian red-brick houses, with mats in front 
 propped up on bamboos, under Avhich white- 
 bearded traders cast up their accounts in
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 41 
 
 luio-e red books with the flmisiest of leaves. 
 I saw a httle Hindoo temple with pyramidical 
 dome, where plantains and rice and sugar are 
 still offered up to the goddess Kalee (the 
 most cruel goddess is always the most popular, 
 as you well know, young lady!). I saw^ a 
 black policeman with an Indian sabre. I 
 saw some smart Mussulmans with their 
 white muslin turbans and graceful drapery. 
 Strong aromatic Indian smells overpowered 
 the senses, and above us glared a tropical sun. 
 It was indeed India. 
 
 ' The Major's quarters in the Port were two 
 bare unfurnished rooms. His furniture seemed 
 to consist chiefly of guns. Two tin boxes, a 
 bed, an arm-chair with only one arm, a brass 
 basin, a billiard cue hung up to straighten, 
 and two empty beer bottles, completed the 
 decoration of the apartment. We break- 
 fasted next door with a Mr Curzon of his 
 regiment, off fish, rice, and eggs — the favour- 
 ite Indian breakfast. All through this repast, 
 and indeed at all other times, the Major 
 talked incessantly a curious ijatois, half Hin-
 
 42 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 dustan, half English. On returning to bis 
 quarters he suddenly broke out into immense 
 joy at the sight of a huge brown-paper parcel. 
 
 ^"I'll order a buggy," he called out, ''I'll 
 drive you everywhere — to the Town Major's 
 to report yourself, to the great beauty, Miss 
 Wotherspoon, a bewitching ^;m, — you know 
 that word ! In England they pronounce it 
 as if it rhymed to ' deary,' but the Persian 
 word rhymes to 'flurry' and 'worry;' the 
 rhyme, you know, is often an echo to the sense. 
 We'll drive to the club to hear the gup. I 
 forgot, you /don't know Elindustan, hey? 
 ' Well and how do you like India, hey ? 
 By-the-by, Simpkin, tell me — I did really see 
 a very pretty girl on board the steam.er — did 
 I not ? " 
 
 • ' The Major's change of voice and manner 
 here would have been eccentric in anybody 
 else. 
 
 '"Of course you did. Major, what do you 
 mean f 
 
 ' " The young lady at the top of the com- 
 panion ladder ! "
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 43 
 
 ' '' Of course ; why, was slie not pretty 
 enough to please you ? " 
 
 ' " Well, I don't know, I almost thought— 
 what w^as her name ? " 
 
 ' " Sophy Brabazon ! " 
 
 ' " Brabazon ! " said the Major in a peculiar 
 manner, and the subject dropt. 
 
 ' The brown-paper parcel contained a new 
 suit of clothes, designed out of the Major's 
 own head, — a frock-coat buttoned up to the 
 chin, with waist buttons in the small of the 
 back, a pair of grey trousers, and a yellowish 
 waistcoat. He soon appeared in them, and 
 had apparently discovered his mistake about 
 the neck-tie, for it was now wound several 
 times round his neck. Over the Tort draw- 
 bridges, and along the river, where the tall 
 Indiamen were moored, and then across a 
 huge grass plain, to wide streets of huge 
 white houses, each in its garden, went our 
 cabriolet with a native groom hooked up 
 somewhere under the wheels, screaming in- 
 cessantly in the most piercing of voices, and 
 thus saving many human lives, for the Major,
 
 44 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 despite his spectacles, was very blind and 
 reckless, and the black pedestrians exhibited 
 the proverbial Eastern contempt of life by 
 constantly getting under the horse's head, as 
 if they mistook the Major in his new clothes 
 for the Jehu of the car of Juggernauth. 
 We reached the Club, and a number of young 
 gentlemen in shirt-sleeves appeared at once at 
 the door of one of the rooms, and persuaded 
 the Major to enter and play one game of 
 billiards, and then another, and presently he 
 forgot all about the Town Major and the 
 great beauty. He bantered cheerfully when 
 lie was winning, and dismally when he was 
 losing, and his friends smoked, and drank 
 beer, and brandy and water. By-and-by 
 dandies came home from their visits, and 
 fagged officials from their work, and they 
 talked about vacant appointments and official 
 salaries. At sunset they drove on the espla- 
 nade, and then they dined — prim in their 
 fine equipages, and dismal over their cham- 
 pagne. That night I knew India. 
 
 'Yours, &c., Chakles Simpkix.'
 
 45 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 BRA.HMINS. 
 
 illSS SOPHY BEAT3AZ0N TO MISS DOEA STAIDLEIGH, 
 BUDLEIGH SALTEETON, DEVOX. 
 
 ' Clioii-ringliee, Nov. 20t7i, 18—, 
 
 'Dearest Dormouse, — 
 
 ' I feel very lonely and unhappy. 
 My uncle Liversege and my aunt came to 
 fetch me on the steamer, the first an absent 
 dreamy man, very yellow in the face. 
 
 ' " Here's your uncle," said the lady, who 
 was very pompous. 
 
 ' " Oh, this is Sophy ! " he said, and gave 
 me a kiss, seeming all the Avhile chiefly intent 
 upon avoiding the sailors wdio were carrying 
 boxes about. 
 
 ' " By-the-by, what time did you arrive at 
 Fultah ghaut ? " he said after a pause.
 
 40 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' I replied, that I thought we passed a 
 place of similar sound at six o'clock. 
 
 ' " I told you so, Maria, my love. Didn't 
 I say so last night ? Wasn't I right ? " 
 
 ' '' I'm sure, my dear, I scarcely recollect," 
 said the lady, tartly. 
 
 ' '' I said, if they get to Kedgeree before 
 three or half-past three, they'll have Avater 
 enouo;h to ^'o over the ' James and Marv,' 
 and then I shouldn't be surprised if they 
 reached Fultah ghaut by six. Hulloa, there's 
 Lushington. Didn't I say they'd reach Ful- 
 tah ghaut by six? " and as my uncle and aunt 
 nov^^ entered into an animated conversation 
 with Mr Lushington, you see the only words 
 spoken to me directly by my uncle were these : 
 
 ' " Oh, this is Sophy ! By-the-by, vrhat 
 time did you reach Fultah ghaut ? " 
 
 ' We got into a barouche at the quay. 
 Two black servants bowed to the earth as we 
 entered it, and a patriarch with a long white 
 beard drove the j>-rev Arabs to Mr Liverse2;e's 
 house in ChoiuringJice, the most fashionable 
 quarter of Calcutta.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 47 
 
 ' I have not spirits to describe a palace in 
 this citij of palaces. Imagine a huge square 
 block of a building imposing from its size and 
 heio'ht, but with white stucco walls somewhat 
 mouldy from the effects of the last monsoon. 
 It stands in a small garden filled partly with 
 lovely tropical flowers and shrubs, and partly 
 with a confused jumble of mean little out- 
 houses for the natives. A crowd of slaves 
 kissed the earth as we entered, and at the 
 first landing vrere some more black servants 
 seated cross-legged and v/orking at my aunt's 
 dresses and petticoats in the open day. They 
 are called diirzies, or tailors. Indeed there is 
 a queer mixture of the pretentious and the 
 homely in the palace generally. 
 
 ' The furniture of the drawing-room Avas 
 showy and expensive, a mass of glitter, but 
 barely sufficient for the size of the room. 
 This latter vras very high, much too high for 
 its size, though it was very large. It had five 
 windows and eight doors, the doorways being 
 al:-o unusually high, and of singular construc- 
 tion for the sake of coolness. A framework
 
 48 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 spread with reel silk opens and shuts, but is 
 only half the size of the doonvay, leaving a 
 gap above and below, and through one door- 
 way the leg of a bedstead Avas plainly visible. 
 On the Avail are branches Avith huge bell- 
 mouthed lamp-glasses. The aa^iHs are of bare 
 AAdiitewash somewhat discoloured. There is 
 no ceiling, and the rafters above are exposed 
 Avith no other disguise than a coat of green 
 paint. I should say the first impression de- 
 rived from an Indian draAving-room is, one of 
 mildew jj magnificence ! 
 
 ' My uncle had to go off to his office that 
 morning, and he remained aAvay all day. I 
 tried once or tAvice to get into conversation 
 Avith Mrs Liverseo;e, but she Avas verv cross. 
 At dinner a number of high officials came, and 
 they Avere most pomp ous and dull. This Avas 
 the sole topic of conversation. A Colonel 
 DoAvling has died at NaAvaubgunge (the place, 
 you knoAv, Avhere Ada also died), and there is 
 a perfect fever of excitement about his suc- 
 cessor in the lucrative post of Resident. That 
 you may be quite aii fait on the subject of
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 49 
 
 this important political question, I must tell 
 YOU that it is believed the Governor- General 
 Avill be swayed in his choice by one of two 
 rival Calcutta magnates — Mr Windus, the 
 Lieut. -Govern or of the Sunderbunds, or Mr 
 Prettijohn, the principal Pundit of the Go- 
 vernor-General's Pundit Khana. Indian 
 names are so funny. Fancy, this is the only 
 topic I have heard discussed since I have been 
 in India. I believe my aunt is scheming to 
 get the appointment for my uncle through 
 Mr Windus. 
 
 ' Oh, how sick at heart I felt when I got to 
 my bed-room that night. Everything here 
 seems so grand, so formal, so unfriendly. My 
 bed-room is enormous and almost unfurnished. 
 It is lit by one feeble wick, floating in a tum- 
 bler-full of cocoa-nut oil, on a little straw stool. 
 A huge bed is in the middle, with a huge 
 scaffolding for the gauzy mosquito curtains. 
 A coarse mat covers a fourth of the floor, and 
 the rest is of clay and plaster smoothed and 
 dried. Two black female servants bustled 
 about, and watched my every movement with
 
 50 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 their large eyes. When they had gone I 
 thought of the large cargo of human beings 
 which had that day been landed in India ; of 
 Mrs Vesey and the other mothers who cry in 
 vain towards the shores where their little ones 
 are praying for them; of boys and young girls 
 who have said '' Good-bye " to their parents 
 for ever; and I own I was weak enough to 
 indulge in a hearty cry. Be sure that the 
 dear fields of Old England never look so green 
 as when seen across a desolate waste of weary 
 ocean. 
 
 ' Who do you think is one of the most in- 
 fluential of Calcutta officials in the grave crisis 
 I just told you of ? — Mr Palmer Brown, Ada's 
 widower. He is not very good-looking, indeed, 
 much too large in the Avaist. But he is agree- 
 able. The wdiole affair of my cousin is still 
 shrouded in mystery. I spoke to my aunt, but 
 she was cross upon the subject, and my uncle 
 seems to avoid talking about it. He is kind 
 under his formality. Mr Palmer Brown can- 
 not have been to blame, else why should poor 
 Ada's relations be so intimate with him ? My
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 51 
 
 aunt has the greatest opinion of him, and 
 wants his interest, which is great, in the matter 
 of this tiresome Residency of Nawaubgunge. 
 Since writing this, much has happened, which 
 I must defer to another mail. 
 
 ' Your dearest, 
 
 ' So, So: 
 
 MR CHARLES SIMPKIX TO MISS DORA STAIDLEiaH, 
 BUDLEIGH SALTERTO:?^, DEVOIS". 
 
 ' U. S. Club, Nov. 24^tJi, 18—. 
 
 ' My dear Dora, 
 
 ' Calcutta is an atrocious place. A 
 Despotism tempered with Cholera morbus. 
 Society is dull, formal, in the hands of Brah- 
 mins, a sacred class who discourage pleasure. 
 I long to join my regiment. I have ap- 
 plied for the 44th Nowgong Native Infantry 
 (Belper's regiment), and I hope soon to be 
 posted. I have scarcely seen Sophy. Th^ 
 Brahmins look down upon the military class 
 of the community, and when I call at the house 
 I am told the doors are shut, though yesterday
 
 .j:z out of the meshes. 
 
 I saw them open a minute afterwards to a 
 civilian, with the orthodox yellow streak. Mv 
 humorous friend, Major Pulfington Belper, tells 
 me that by the old. Hindoo law if a Chatrifja 
 (soldier caste) gained the affections of a Brah- 
 min lady he w^as burnt to death on an iron bed. 
 The same spirit seems to animate the Brah- 
 mins of the Bengal Civil Service to the pre- 
 sent day. 
 
 ' I admit that last night I had the great 
 honour of dining with Mrs Liversege. As I 
 got my invitation verbally half an hour before 
 the dinner-gong sounded, it might have been 
 to fill up a gap. The guests were of such high 
 rank that when I mentioned their names after- 
 wards to Major Pulfington Belper, he looked 
 through the spectacles of reverence with the 
 eyes of wonder. I was honoured by three 
 words from Mrs Liversege, a short, stout, pon- 
 derous lady, slow in movement — and (if such 
 an expression can be used towards a person of 
 such high rank) a little inclined to a tvaddle in 
 her Avalk. In conversation with strangers she 
 ratlier intones than speaks, making great play
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 53 
 
 with her right hand, which is small and plump. 
 Imagine the first Napoleon in dove-coloured 
 satin with plenty of lace, flounces, chains, and 
 bracelets, and you have some idea of Mrs 
 Liversege, but her nose is of that beaky curve 
 peculiar to Wellingtons, eagles, and very mer- 
 cenary mammas. Her husband is tall, lean, 
 -and as yellow as the conventional nabob of 
 old plays and novels. He is a painstaking, 
 dull, pompous, statistical person, who reads 
 Indian blue books for relaxation, and has no 
 thought beyond the Civil administration of the 
 East India Company. Sophy was engaged in 
 conversation with a colonel. The only other 
 person whom I knew in the room was a fat 
 little official Avho cordially shook by the hand 
 the Member of Council to the right of me and 
 the Sudder judge to the left of me, and vouch- 
 safed to me a nod, which indicated at least as 
 much of the friend as the patron. My com- 
 panions in the doorway were talking a mixture 
 of Hindustanee and Enghsh upon the great 
 question of the day. Who is to get the Resi- 
 dency of Nawaubgunge ? Mr Curry ? Mr
 
 54 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 LushingtoH ? Mr Blogg ? Mr Wotlierspoon ? 
 or Mr Liversege ? I have heard of nothing 
 else since I have been in Calcutta. 
 
 ' But dinner (that grave Brahminical 
 ceremony) is now announced, and we march 
 down in the order prescribed by the Institutes 
 of Menu. I bring up the rear, and find, to my 
 horror, that the only vacant seat is between 
 Col. Boshington of the Army Routine Depart- 
 ment and the wife of a member of Council. 
 By the time I have mustered up sufficient 
 moral courage to take my place they are both 
 luckilv too busy with the mulla2:atawnv to 
 notice me. But now my difficulties begin. 
 I find it is amongst the manners and customs 
 of India that every one should bring his own 
 black table-servant, and this servant will wait 
 on nobody else. ¥rom ignorance I have neg- 
 lected this custom, and now I feel the results. 
 Near me stands a black man. He wears the 
 picturesque flowing garments of the East, but 
 turban and robe have a binding of red — mark, 
 red tape ! On the turban likewise a crest is 
 emblazoned. In bad Hindustanee I 2;ive the
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 55 
 
 man an order, which he totally ignores. I 
 find that this man wears the livery of Col. 
 Boshington, that the crest, a sword inter- 
 twined with something (probably a piece of 
 red tape), is the crest of Col. Boshington, and 
 that the good native is in every way a worthy 
 satellite of that impracticable time-stranded 
 establishment, the Department of Army 
 Routine. By-and-by the excellent Mr Liver- 
 sege at a remote end of the table guesses my 
 difficulty, and detaches to my rescue a most 
 benevolent native, with long white robes and 
 a long white beard, like the picture of the 
 Patriarch Laban in the National Collection. 
 The benevolent Laban saves me from death by 
 starvation, and plies me with Moef, and Ka- 
 bobs, with mullagatawny and pillau. 
 
 ' In England you may address, without 
 presumption, a common-place remark to a 
 Q-entleman sittino- next vou at dinner. When 
 I had drunk two glasses of champagne, I 
 accosted my neighbour, artfully selecting a 
 topic which I fancied would be of interest to 
 him.
 
 56 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' '' Have you read, sir, the article in to- 
 day's Ilurlmru about the Residency of Na- 
 waubgunge ? " 
 
 ' " Eh, eh ? What, sir ? " was the reply. 
 I repeated my question. 
 
 ' '' Have I read the article in to-day's 
 Hiirkaru about the Residency of Nawaub- 
 gunge?" he said very deliberately and 
 solemnly. " Is that your question ? " 
 
 ' '' Yes, that was it ! " 
 
 ' '' Yes, I have read the article in to-day's 
 Hurkaru about the Residency of Nawaub- 
 gunge ! " he replied, thus intimating that 
 though there was nothing unprecedented in a 
 person of his rank reading the article in 
 question, there might be in a person of mine 
 broaching so tremendous a subject. The fact 
 is, it was not until the next morning (after an 
 interview with Major Puliington Belper, who 
 was aghast at my boldness !) that I knew 
 what a tremendous personage the fat officer 
 really was. He is more looked up to than 
 even His Excellency the Commander-in-Chief, 
 and is so conscientious a routinist that he has
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 57 
 
 iiis collars, which are iiii fashionably large, 
 starched with pipe-clay. 
 
 ' In the drawing-room I found Sophy oc- 
 cupied with a stout admirer, whose conversa- 
 tion was so brilliant and engaging that she 
 would not listen to a word / said. I cannot 
 give him higher eulogy than that ! She is 
 already immensely admired, and has cut out 
 another great beauty. Miss Wotherspoon. 
 Beauties and civil appointments are the two 
 great topics of Indian conversation. 
 
 ' Oh, would that I were a pious Brahmin, 
 with a yellow streak down the centre of my 
 forehead. I would count my beads all day 
 under the shade of the Ncem tree. I would 
 turn over the banana leaves of my sacred 
 volume. I would cry " Ram ! Ram ! " and 
 cover my head with dust and clay. Men 
 would salam to me, and beautiful maids, with 
 large eyes, and tiny little naked feet peeping 
 out from under their little chiiddahs, would 
 come and boAv reverentially and bring me 
 offerings, and fatten me with clarified butter 
 and rice and milk.
 
 58 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' One such Gooroo have I seen, oilv and 
 especially Avell fattened, and his name is 
 Palmer Brown, B. C. S. ''Earn! Ram T' 
 Woe! Woe! 
 
 ' Yom's, &c., 
 
 ' Charles Simpkin.' 
 
 MISS SOPHY BRAEAZON TO MISS DOHA STAIDLEIGH, 
 BUDLEIGH SALTEIITON, DEVOID. 
 
 ' Chowrinnliee, December hih, 18 — . 
 
 'Dearest Dormouse, — 
 
 ' I like Calcutta much better. My 
 aunt becomes much kinder. And we have had 
 an addition to our house. Mrs Throgmorton, 
 sister to Mrs Liversege, and her daughter 
 31otee (pearl). Motee has a little native Hood 
 in her, but she is a dear girl, very kind and 
 unselfish. Mrs Throgmorton is serious, and 
 brings up upon all occasions the opinions and 
 tracts of a favourite clergyman, the Reverend 
 Eli Petticrook of Cheltenham. These are 
 chiefly levelled against dancing, dress, play-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 59 
 
 going, and other young ladies amusements and 
 follies, and she and Mrs Liversege had a great 
 argument the other day about my going to 
 the Governor- General's ball at Barrackpore. 
 Mrs Throgmorton was against it, and pro- 
 duced a copy of " Round and Round ! or the 
 Moth and the Plame ! " by the Reverend Eli 
 Petticrook, but Mrs Liversege replied that if 
 Mr Windus and Colonel Boshington, who are 
 both serious, saw no harm in going, she 
 should certainlv let me 0*0. 
 
 ' And now that I have recovered my 
 spirits a little I intend to be as garrulous, as 
 havarde, as wicked, and I hope as lively as 
 your giddy little friend used to be in Eng- 
 land. You and I have agreed, you know, to 
 have no secrets the one from the other, but 
 you must remember that the conditions were 
 perfect frankness on both sides. You are to 
 be my father confessor, and I am sure I shall 
 have a long list of peccadilloes to answer for, 
 but if you want any shrift from me you must 
 be ecpially confiding in return. Do you 
 know, I very much doubt your telling me
 
 60 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 everything. Nobody has ever got to the 
 bottom of your secrets, demure little puss ! 
 
 ' Cotnmengons ! Official intrigues, official 
 dinners, and official ffirtations, are the three 
 amusements of Calcutta, and I have chiefly 
 cultivated the latter pastime. T have been 
 most wicked and most successful. I have 
 already taken captive two brave w^arriors, 
 Captain Lemesurier, a handsome Aide-de- 
 camp (to the Governor- General), and Captain 
 Spink of the Body- Guard. The latter copies 
 the former in every respect. Both are much 
 admired by some girls, but my aunt tells me 
 that to be a soldier's wife is considered 
 mauvais genre out here, so I think I shall be 
 magnanimous and put the poor little trout 
 back again into the Avater. People out here 
 are so funny ; my aunt speaks quite seriously 
 on the subject, and Charley Simpkin says 
 that some mammas have a scale modelled on 
 the droll scale of dinner- precedence, which 
 sets forth that a judge's daughter may marry 
 nothing under a collector or a Major-General 
 with a cork leg, a collector's daughter nothing
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 61 
 
 under a magistrate, or a full Colonel (if in- 
 vested with the order of the Bath), and so on, 
 just hke the rules my aunt consults before 
 arranging how people are to go down to 
 dinner. 
 
 ' Of civihans I have captured a shoal. 
 The great beauty of Calcutta is a Miss 
 Wotherspoon, who tried to ])atronize me with 
 much kindness the first dinner-party I went 
 to. She did rather eclijose me in a millinery 
 point of view. Her dress was a gauze dress, 
 houton iVor, trimmed with black lace and rich 
 red roses. Very pretty ! I am candid. I 
 thinJc I shall have my turn at the Barrack - 
 pore ball. Mine is to be a rich white glace 
 silk, with innumerable bouillons of tulle, and 
 an upper skirt of tulle looped up at intervals 
 with marabout feathers, and small pink rose- 
 buds. Won't that be heavenly? I think — 
 but I was going to tell you of these civilians. 
 They used to follow Miss Wotherspoon, and 
 now they follow some one else. They are nice 
 merry young boys, with a weakness for buying 
 buggies and horses. One, Mr Chiffney Chaff-
 
 62 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 iiey, is considered a great wit. They are always 
 together, even in love. 
 
 ' Another deserter from Miss Wother- 
 spoon's colours is (according to Charley Simp- 
 kin) a very funny man, Miss Belper's brother, 
 who drives on the Calcutta course with Charley 
 in a hack buggy, and tries to look dignified, 
 with a broken buggy whip in his hand. He 
 quotes Byron and " Bendemeer's Stream," has 
 a certain air of dignity about him, and shows 
 his emotion, according to Master Charley, by 
 getting very red in the nose. He makes set 
 speeches which he invents before-hand, and 
 which are generally mal place, — as yesterday, 
 Avhen we were talking about this eternal Na- 
 waubgunge, he suddenly broke out : 
 
 ' " Well, Miss Brabazon, you see, beauties 
 in India are like the statues of Mercury, 
 they have the whole world at their feet — 
 Hey!" 
 
 ' Charley Simpkin is a little put out about 
 something — these young gentlemen are so irri- 
 table. You know he writes really beautiful 
 poetry, and was to write some for my album.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 63 
 
 He finished a poem " The Holy River," and 
 brought it at the very moment that Mr Pal- 
 mer Brown came also to call. Something 
 offended him, and I have not seen him since. 
 His poem is beautiful ; and, though he hates 
 " Moore," whom I like immensely (and so I 
 told him), his own style seems not unlike. 
 
 " Love launches her lamp when dim terrors are near, 
 And the swift gloom of night comes o'er eve's 
 rosy beam, 
 And the lonely one watches its twinkle in fear, 
 Love's star mid the glimmering stars in the stream. 
 
 " riow on, fatal river, chill, gloomy, and vast, 
 
 And bear on thy calmness that lamp's feeble glow, 
 Or bear the drown'd hope that seeks in thee at last, 
 With faith not all pagan, a rest from its woe." 
 
 ' Is not this a little like the very " Ben- 
 demeer's Stream " he quizzes Major Pulf- 
 ington Belper for quoting ? I admire poetry, 
 and so does Mr Palmer Brown. 
 
 ' This gentleman is a curious compound. 
 
 ' He is active, energetic, a man of the 
 world, with very great ability indeed, and he 
 is also a lady's man, nicely dressed, and all
 
 64 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 that. I think that he is a genuine man, strong, 
 conscientious, and fond of truth, quite Hke a 
 hero of Kingsley, only fatter. The mystery 
 about his poor wife still perplexes me very 
 much, but I feel convinced from what I see of 
 Mr Palmer Brown, that he could not have 
 been to blame. A man like him must always 
 be true to himself. 
 
 ' Your dearest 
 
 ' So, So:
 
 65 
 
 CHAPTER lY. 
 
 THE MOTH AND THE ELAME. 
 
 ME CIIAELES SIMPKIN TO MISS DOEA STAIDLEIGH, 
 BUDLEIGK SALTEETOX, DEYOIS'. 
 
 ' BarracJcpore, Nov. 22th, IS—. 
 
 'Dear Dora, — 
 
 ' Think of this. The present letter 
 is written in a "bungalow!" Ensign Simp- 
 kin having reported his arrival at head- quar- 
 ters, will attend drill under the Adjutant 
 every 'mornino: at five o'clock. Eor further 
 particulars — vide Regimental Order Book. 
 I\Ionday I put on my shell jacket and came 
 down in a buggy from Cooke's to report my 
 arrival. The Adjutant, Mr Wrottesley, carried 
 me off" to the quarters of Lieut. -Col. Sandboy, 
 who cannot be a very intelligent officer, as all 
 that seemed to attract him in my somewhat
 
 66 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 striking figure and general appearance were 
 a few paltry minutiae connected with buttons 
 and shoulder cords, which he said would have 
 to be altered. 
 
 ' That night I dined at '' Our Mess ! " with 
 a lot of my brother officers in red shell jackets, 
 worn open, and white Avaistcoats. A real live 
 Sepoy, in a real English uniform, Scotch cap, 
 and a necklace of white shells instead of a 
 stock, carried arms to me as I walked in. I 
 received this mark of attention with a gracious 
 urbanity, as if I had been accustomed to this 
 sort of thing all my life. I hated Calcutta, 
 and longed for the active duties of my pro- 
 fession, and these I find to consist in going 
 out at the chilliest hour of the night, an hour 
 or so before dawn, and standing in very w^et 
 grass, in a thick mist, and there performing 
 all sorts of absurd acrobatic exercises for the 
 edification of a native NaicJc, or corporal. 
 Well, well, I suppose great Clive one day 
 went through the balance step not gaining 
 ground, under equally unfavourable circum- 
 stances.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 07 
 
 ' You asked me to give you my real opinion 
 of the officers of my regiment. Shall I con- 
 fess it, — my first impression is one of con- 
 siderable disappointment. But their short- 
 comings do not lie at all in the direction 
 which, from a perusal of Anglo-Indian liter- 
 ature, I had been led to expect. If you 
 remember, the late Sir Charles Xapier could 
 never wholly divest himself of tlie idea that 
 the officers of the Bengal army had cham- 
 pagne for tiffin every day ; and another gifted 
 officer, Professor Oakfield, wrote what ought 
 perhaps to be called a grave theological lam- 
 poon, which left on the mind of the reader 
 the impression that it was necessary always 
 when dining at an Indian mess to keep a 
 bottle of sherry near at hand, for the purpose 
 of aveno'ino; ribald insult. I confess I did 
 look forward to one of these demoralizing but 
 pleasant tiffiji parties, but I was quite disap- 
 pointed. ]\Iy brother officers seem to be 
 dull, plodding, business-like and respectable 
 to a fault, that is, the old ones, and all except 
 griffs we call old. They don't seem to have
 
 68 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 a thouglit beyond drill and buying out their 
 seniors. The conversation at mess the first 
 night related almost entirely to this question. 
 Major Tomkinson of the regiment had agreed 
 to retire if his brother officers Avould give 
 him 8200 rupees. Noav this was the point 
 in debate. Ought they to produce the 3200 
 rupees, and get rid of Major Tomkinson, or 
 ought they to unbendingly adhere to the 
 regimental scale which held out only 3000 
 rupees to a retiring Major ? I am forgetting, 
 there was another question much debated, 
 and it was this. Suppose a corporal's guard 
 of four men, say of the IGth Regiment, were 
 to meet a sergeant's guard of eight men of a 
 junior regiment, say the 1 7th, which would have 
 the iKis of the other ? Three general orders 
 Avere cited, one of 181 9, which decided in favour 
 of the corporal's guard, one of 18 2G, which de- 
 cided in favour of the sergeant's, and one of 
 1841, which, owing to its erroneous grammati- 
 cal construction, decided in favour of both. It 
 was at last fixed that the Tomkinson question 
 and the sergeant's guard question, should
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. G9 
 
 stand over until the arrival at lieacl-quarters 
 of a Captain Ashleigh, who had been left by 
 Major Pulfington Belper with his company at 
 Shikarpore. Captain Ashleigh, it appears, is 
 a great authority on these and similar stu- 
 pendous questions. Thus you see the con- 
 versation at mess, unless the Hindustanee 
 element contains some unfathomed vivacity — 
 if not cheerful is entirely innocent. The only 
 circumstance that awakens the least spright- 
 liness is a mistake on the part of one of the 
 younger officers — either in Hindustani or In- 
 dian usage. I am thankful to say that I was 
 able to create a laugh on the very first night. 
 I Avanted a cheroot light, and called out 
 Butty ! Don't you see the fun ! Butt/j I 
 means a waxlight, not a cheroot light. 
 
 ' My friend Major Pulfington Belper is still 
 in Calcutta, but Avill be back in time for the 
 ball. They say the mess will be funnier 
 when he comes, as he has been the butt of 
 it for thirty years. His remarkable game of 
 bilHards also generally attracts all the other 
 billiard players in the cantonments. I am
 
 70 ' OUT OF THE MESHES, 
 
 forgetting another friend I have found here. 
 Brigadier Dewsnap. This officer has akeady 
 made himself very unpopular in his brigade 
 command, by administering sharp reproofs 
 and rude insults to ahuost every individual 
 officer serving under him. I did myself the 
 pleasure to call on him in company with the 
 adjutant. "What's this ? " he said, address- 
 ing that officer. " How dares that young 
 man appear before an officer commanding a 
 brigade for the first time " (meaning, " appear 
 for the first time before an officer, &;c.") 
 " without putting on full dress ? Tell that 
 young officer that I have seen him before, 
 and that I have my eye upon him. Tell 
 him also that if he thinks he can be insubor- 
 dinate in this command, he is very much 
 mistaken." 
 
 'The adjutant here explained, that having 
 just been posted I had no time to have full 
 dress made up. 
 
 '"Then take that young officer away to 
 his quarters, and let him remain, hid, con- 
 cealed, perdu (accent on du), till he has got
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 71 
 
 uniform fit to appear in before liis senior of- 
 ficers. Carry him ofi", sir. And when he is fit 
 to appear, let Colonel Sandboy write officially 
 to the Brigade Major, and I will appoint the 
 hour when he is to be brought up and pre- 
 sented to me. He is at present to consider 
 himself unpresented, unpresentable. March 
 himofi'I'" 
 
 'This was too late for last mail, and I 
 open it again to say that the great authority 
 on the Tomkinson question has arrived, and 
 the question was discussed all last night at 
 mess. Eancy, I have the distinguished honour 
 of chumming with Captain Ashleigh, a curt 
 gentleman with a hatchettfj face, and a com- 
 plexion something like a Red Indian's. He is 
 a dead shot, and very partial to the chase. 
 He is said also to dislike ladies' society (at 
 least four captains of the regiment are as timid 
 as fawns, and would rather charge three bat- 
 teries than speak to one lady), so you can well 
 imagine my friend to be a blank unintelligent 
 person, who studies general orders, is curious 
 about the particular action of pipe-clay on
 
 72 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 pouch belts, and calls '' arrangeiHent " Biin- 
 dohust, tliougli the former ^vord is recom- 
 mended in preference by Dr Johnson. Cap- 
 tain Ashleigh is thin, wiry, active, and knows 
 more about the drill book and general orders 
 than anybody in the regiment. He is slightly 
 bald, with a big drooping light-brown mous- 
 tache, so big, in fact, that his nose is 
 obhged to form itself into a hook to hold 
 it on. Moustaches are humbugs, I don't 
 believe in them. A mere bunch of hair 
 sprouting out on the upper lip gives this dry- 
 est of Indian officers, this self-consuming 
 cigar, this clockwork warrior, this automaton 
 mover of Indian chessmen, a thoughtful, sen- 
 timental look at times. I have only lived two 
 days with him in the same bungalow\ His 
 most objectionable characteristic seems a habit 
 of cross-examining you in a manner partly 
 Socratic, and partly hke Mr Ballantyne at the 
 Old Bailey. 
 
 ^ Yours, &c., 
 
 ' ChaEvLes Simpkin.'
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 73 
 
 Prom this letter it is to be seen tliat Char- 
 ley Simpkin's duties have fairly commenced. 
 He is an Indian soldier, and has to conquer 
 his three first foes — his drill-sergeant, his 
 bearer, and his pony. His arduous struggles 
 with the first of these have been already 
 noticed. In exchange for Plookum Sirdar, a 
 servant Avho carried off all his rupees, he has 
 now an ' up-country ' bearer, one that has lived 
 all his life with an officer of a native regiment, 
 and these are the best bearers in India. With 
 this particular servant he soon gets on very 
 well, as a good native servant is the most 
 plastic of characters, who discovers all your 
 ways by instinct, and does all you want almost 
 as soon as you can form the wish. By the 
 aid of a dictionary, and a volume of liindus- 
 tanee dialogues, he explains to him that he does 
 not Avant his patent-leather boots cleaned with 
 blacking, or the gilt ornaments of his sword 
 cleaned away with sand-paper. Ram Buccus 
 is a Hindu, aged thirty-five, hghtly, but 
 strongly built, with a large nose, and a dark 
 brown skin scarred with the small pox. He
 
 74 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 "wears a red turban, a short quilted jacket, 
 called a mirzaie, which is blue, bound Avith. 
 red piping. His dJiotee, the ample cloth 
 which Hindus fold about their loins, is of a 
 cinnamon hue. Owino; to a slio;ht nervous 
 affection about the eyes he received at once 
 from his vivacious master the nickname of the 
 ' Blinking Idolater,' and this name he retained 
 for many a year. In addition to this servant, 
 Mr Charles Simpkin is now supplied with more 
 than half-a-dozen others, as no man in Bengal 
 will do more than one duty. He has a white- 
 turbaned and white-robed Mussulman, Ivabob 
 Malik, for his Khitmutgar, and chef de cui- 
 sine. He has a svce and 2;rass fetcher, a Avash- 
 erman, a water-carrier, and a Chowkeydar. 
 The 'Blinking Idolater' is the head man of 
 this large establishment, and proudly dangles 
 his master's keys at his waist. 
 
 Charley's pony, or tat, or tattoo (for all three 
 of these names are used in India), was pur- 
 chased from a brother officer. Ensign Hodges, 
 for the simi of 150 Rs. 'Tippoo,' a pink- 
 nosed, white, diminutive Arab, has a trick of
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 75 
 
 throwing down his head and breaking off into 
 a gallop, when he passes within one hundred 
 yards of the Mess — and this said gallop no 
 power on earth can arrest, until the head- 
 strong little animal stops of his own accord 
 inider the Mess portico. 
 
 Barrackpore has much in common with 
 all other Indian cantonments. A native regi- 
 ment has its lines of mud-huts where the 
 Sepoys live, in front of which is the parade 
 ground, and in rear run three hues of bunga- 
 lows for the English officers, the rear line 
 being nominally devoted to officers of superior 
 rank. As each house stands detached in a 
 garden of its own, the cantonments generally 
 cover a large space of ground. Government 
 House stands in a large park, the finest in 
 India. There the band plays every evening 
 and attracts the English residents, vAio sit 
 quietly in their carriages by the calm Hooghly 
 and devour what little air there is in the hot 
 nights of summer, watching languidly the 
 glorious glow of an Indian sunset, and the 
 distant white villas of Serampore which peep
 
 76 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 through the pahiis and bamboos on the oppo- 
 site bank. In one part of the park is a me- 
 nagerie and an aviary. Charley Simpkin gal- 
 loped in the park morning and evening, and 
 enjoyed the fine turf and noble trees, and 
 the luxury of his sentimental woe ; and was 
 amused and diverted with his new life — 
 more perhaps than he liked to confess. 
 
 The bungalow in which the young gentle- 
 man was now living in company with Capt. Ash- 
 leigh was in the centre or Captains' lines. A 
 bungalow is a one-storied house with a high 
 roof sloping up into almost a point, and com- 
 ing down very low to form the over-hanging 
 verandah. In Barrackpore the roofs were of 
 tiles, but in most stations in Bengal they are 
 of thatch, which is considered cooler. Capt. 
 Ashleigh's bungalow had two large sitting- 
 rooms in the centre, and on each side was a 
 bed-room and a bath-room. Bathing is the 
 principal religious ceremony in Hindustan. 
 Charley Simpkin had an adventure in his bath- 
 room two days after he took up his abode in 
 the bungalow. Half-a-dozen large red spheri-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 77 
 
 cal earthen jars are ranged around, and it is 
 the habit of Khitmutgars to place a bottle or 
 two of soda water — of which there is a very 
 free consumption in the East — in one of these 
 jars to cool. Ignorant of this habit, Charley 
 Simpkin one morning capsized the red jar 
 high over his head. Suddenly he felt a 
 thump 1 thump ! and in an instant he was 
 in a cooling stream of effervescence and 
 broken glass. It was well for the pious ]\Ius- 
 sulman Kabob Malik that he was aAvay at the 
 moment when the young man's wrath was at 
 the highest. 
 
 It w^as at his first interview with Captain 
 Ashleigh that Ensign Charles Simpkin detected 
 the cross-questioning habit of the Captain — 
 which so much offended his young dignity. 
 He had taken possession of the bungalow be- 
 fore the arrival of Captain Ashleigh at Bar- 
 rackpore, and rushing into it one morning 
 from the Mess he found the Compound full of 
 Sepoys in the rifle uniform, and in the prin- 
 cipal room was a Soolahdar seated in an arm- 
 chair, three Sepoys standing in hue, and an
 
 78 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 English officer, in a flannel shirt, and the 
 trousers of the rifle company of the regiment, 
 writing away at the table, and puffing clouds of 
 smoke from a Manilla cheroot between his teeth. 
 
 ' Oh, you're Mr Simpkin,' said the officer, 
 shaking hands with him as soon as he per- 
 ceived him. ' Take a seat, I shall have done 
 in a moment. Soobahdar Sahib, this is the 
 new Sahib of the regiment.' This was said 
 in Hindustanee, and the grave old Soobahdar 
 stood up and saluted. Charley Simpkin re- 
 turned the salute, but could think of no more 
 appropriate Hindustanee remark to make 
 than — 
 
 ' JIa I hahu acchat ! ' — (Yes, very excel- 
 lent !) ' ' 
 
 Captain Ashleigh went on writing, now 
 saying a word or two to the Soobahdar, and 
 now a word to the Ensign. 
 
 ' You have been here three weeks, I think?' 
 
 ' Three weeks to-day ! ' 
 
 ' You are fond of Calcutta ? ' 
 
 ' I can't say that I am.' 
 
 ' You go there pretty often ? '
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 79 
 
 * AVell, I do sometimes.' 
 
 ' Excuse my putting one question : the 
 expenses at joining are a little heavy for a 
 young man, the various entrance subscrip- 
 tions, — did your friends think of that when 
 they left England, and make you an allowance 
 for it?' 
 
 ' I have just enough to pay for my uni- 
 forms, for nothing else.' 
 
 Captain Ashleigh took a very long puff 
 at his cheroot, and went on writing. That 
 copious puff of smoke aggravated Mr Charles. 
 A dozen sermons seemed conveyed in that 
 small volume of smoke. The young gentle- 
 man knew that he had a number of regi- 
 mental debts unsettled, and that it was ex- 
 pensive to go to Calcutta often, but he did not 
 Hke the two facts brought too close together 
 in friendly conversation. 
 
 It w^as some time before Captain Ashleigh 
 again addressed him. 
 
 ' Do you like Barrackpore ? ' 
 
 ' Very moderately ! ' 
 
 ' You have found some friends already ? '
 
 80 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' Yes, I go about with Short, and Smart, 
 and Griffinhoof, and Hodges.' 
 
 ' The latter sold you a pony ? ' 
 
 ' Yes/ 
 
 ' One hundred and twenty Rupees ? ' 
 
 ' Yes.' 
 
 Another long pufF of smoke, and a pause. 
 Charley could not positively swear that this 
 meant ' How you have been done ! ' But 
 he knew he had been, and that made him 
 sensitive. A self-satisfied young gentleman, 
 somewhat proud of his word-fencing, he felt 
 if many more puffs of smoke came he must 
 take up the foils. 
 
 ' I suppose you don't like drill ! ' 
 
 ' Well, there are some pleasures in this 
 life to which I give a preference, I confess : 
 a flirtation with the girl of your heart, a 
 game of cricket at Rugby, a champagne tiffin 
 (Xapier pattern) on the plains of Bengal, 
 which is further enlivened by the sprightly con- 
 versation of the officers of the Bengal Army.' 
 
 'You have studied Sir Charles Napier's 
 remarks ? '
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 81 
 
 ' I tlioHght you gentlemen all despised 
 him as a charlatan.' 
 
 'Well, he had his faults. But he had 
 genius, and he detected and parried the great- 
 est stroke that has yet been struck at the 
 English power in India. Little men love to 
 point out little inconsistencies, and as there 
 was a period of his life when he did not see 
 Avhat threatened India, that is easy enongh. 
 Men like Henry Lawrence see a great danger 
 still, and perhaps one day we shall all be sorry 
 that we have not a Napier to command us.' 
 
 ' It was about an alleo-ed 2;eneral mutiny 
 of Sepoys, AA^as it not ? The Governor-General 
 did not believe in it, and ousted Sir Charles.' 
 
 'That is about the long and short of it.' 
 
 'Don't you believe in the faithful Sepoy?' 
 
 ' Jack Pandy is a man ! ' 
 
 ' Jack Pandy ! who is Jack Pandy ? ' 
 
 ' Jack Pandy is before you ! ^ and Captain 
 Ashleigh glanced at the three Sepoys who 
 were still standing at the position of attention. 
 
 Ensign Charles Simpkin was indeed face 
 to face with that celebrated character. Jack
 
 82 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 Pandy. There he stood in liis picturesque 
 undress, with his skull-cap, necklace of shells, 
 linen jacket, ample dJiotee, bare legs, and 
 Indian shoes, — a muscular, enduring, wiry, 
 lanky warrior ; common-place in the eyes of 
 the Ensign in this particular year, but by no 
 means so to us, now that Company's Officer 
 and Company's Sepoy have become things of 
 the past ; together with that fat, civic, turtle- 
 soup-consuming, just, slow, energetic Mr John 
 Company, the first Colonist, the best Captain 
 of Mercenaries, and the best pay-master the 
 world has seen. 
 
 Treachery, cowardice, and the gallows 
 had so much to do with poor Jack Sepoy's 
 inglorious end, that it is scarcely possible to 
 draw him fairly just now ; and yet he held 
 India for a hundred years, taking his share in 
 every victory, from Plassey to the defence of 
 Lucknow. Many of his detractors are scarce- 
 ly aware that he crossed bayonets with the 
 French, pierced the Xepaul hills under Och- 
 terlony when three British columns were 
 beaten back, opened his ranks to let through
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 83 
 
 the fugitives of t^Yo British regiments at Bhiirt- 
 poor, and then went himself into the breach. 
 He has been marched out to overawe mutinous 
 EngHsh soldiers, and even in one day of 
 shame to prevent them from running away. 
 These remarks are of course not written to 
 insinuate that Jack Sepoy is equal to that 
 matchless musketeer, private John Bull, but 
 to show that Jack Sepoy when well led has 
 sometimes fought as well as John Bull, and 
 John Bull when badly led has sometimes 
 fought as badly as Jack Sepoy. Under Hod- 
 son, Read, and Jock Aitken we saw what the 
 Sepoy {Spaki, black-faced soldier) could do 
 even in the mutiny year ; and we know what 
 he was under men like Ochterlony, Littler, 
 and j\'ott; brave, patient, enduring, service- 
 iible, when well handled, winning victories 
 unaided Avhen the numbers were quite as dis- 
 proportionate and the foe as formidable as the 
 Beloochees at Meanee ; a rapid marcher, a 
 good skirmisher, a good gunner, a matchless 
 light-horseman, rising to the heroic at times, 
 — as when tlic Bcnaal Grenadiers in Olive's
 
 84 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 days, under sentence of death for mutin3% 
 lianglitily demanded to be blown first from 
 the guns ; or when the Sepoys of the treason 
 party in the confines of Oude, being sur- 
 rounded by Dacoits, refused quarter, and 
 elected to die along wdth their English 
 officers. 
 
 Well, this contradictory, impulsive Asiatic, 
 true or treacherous, brave or timorous, pa- 
 tient or petulant, as the mood strikes him, is 
 now under the eye of the philosophic Mr 
 Simpldn. He can study him en deshabille, if 
 he feel so inclined ; can see him bathe, pray, 
 cook his large flat flour-cakes, wTestle, swag- 
 ger, doze in the shade, or chant his hymns 
 and war-songs by the camp watcli-fire. He 
 can study him, know him, and master him if 
 he like, as did the old Indian officer; or he 
 may consider soldier's Avork infra dig., and 
 soldiers doing soldiers' work the scum of the 
 army, such theories being now popular in 
 this present India of Colonel Boshington. 
 Popular but dangerous theories, if Jack Sepoy 
 should also think his officer contemptible ;
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 85 
 
 should find him shorn of power, should be- 
 come sensible of the fact that India is almost 
 denuded of English troops, and the arsenals 
 are unguarded. He is a savage, with ii 
 savage's treachery, cunning, and cruelty, as 
 well as docility. He has conflicting duties, 
 duties to his salt, and duties to his fellow 
 black men, and his god Bhowanee the de- 
 stroyer, or Allah the exterminator of infidels. 
 Also he has a private and personal feeling 
 against pipe-clay restraint, and in favour of 
 hot. He is a mercenary, the most faithful 
 the world has seen, but still a mercenary ; 
 and from his ahen officer every shred of power 
 has been taken away. 
 
 But Miss Sophy has come down for the 
 ball. 
 
 A large Indian ball, when the rooms arc 
 well filled, presents a gay scene. In the first 
 place, Indian ball-rooms are especially lofty 
 and roomy, and Government House, Barrack- 
 pore, was furnished with a very fine ball-room 
 indeed. The band of the Artillery was sighing
 
 86 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 out the soft notes of that veiy popular waltz, 
 the ' Whisper/ as Sophy entered the room on 
 the arm of Mr Vesey, and the young lady, 
 who had seen a military ball at Exeter, was 
 astonished at the sight presented to her. The 
 ladies' dresses, the red coats, the blue coats, 
 the dragoons, the irregular cavalry men, with 
 rich Cashmere shawls twisted round their 
 heads and waists, the native rajahs and princes 
 with their large diamonds, their muslins, and 
 stiff gold embroidery, all flashed at once 
 upon her eye in a confused glitter. Mr Vesey 
 found a seat for her and his wife, and they 
 watched the waltzing from a commanding 
 point of view. 
 
 I don't think that for some time Sophy 
 saw the particular object that she was most 
 in search of. She saw Captain Lemesurier 
 waltzing skilfully along. He is in a handsome 
 uniform, and being moreover a man in author- 
 ity he shines to-night. She saw^ Captain Spink. 
 He has on a still more dazzling uniform, but 
 the advantages he gains in dress he throws 
 away from want of skill in a ' round dance. ^
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES, 87 
 
 Charley Simpkin toiling away under the dis- 
 advantage of a new full-dress uniform, is 
 nevertheless acquitting' himself Avith credit. 
 The ' racing civihans ' are going at a furious 
 pace, but their black coats to-night are some- 
 what eclipsed. When the dance is over, and 
 indeed before that time, her observations are 
 brought to a close by the crowd of eager gen- 
 tlemen wdio press round her for dances. A 
 similar but smaller crowd is at no great 
 distance from her. She is able to pierce it for 
 a moment wdth her eye, but that is not what 
 she is looking for, that is only Miss Blenkin- 
 sop, the Barrackporc helle. A third crowd 
 she sees in a remote corner of the room, round 
 the lady Miss Sophy intends utterly to col- 
 lapse. 
 
 Charley Simpkin during the evening en- 
 joyed himself pretty well. He was only able 
 to engage Sophy for a quadrille, and that is 
 not to come off for some time. During one 
 dance, not being engaged to any partner, he 
 was leaning against the door-post of one of 
 the smaller rooms, when his attention was
 
 88 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 attracted by one of the natives of rank. This 
 was a thin, wiry little man with piercing black 
 eyes. He wore a rich shawl for a turban, 
 green with gold embroidery, and his body- 
 coat and pajamas were of Kincoh. Another 
 handsome Cashmere shawl was round his waist, 
 and a handsome ruby was stuck in the folds 
 of the turban. Other jewels glittered on his 
 person. 
 
 ' Curzon, who's that native there?' our 
 young friend whispered to his brother officer 
 who was passing at the moment. 
 
 'Oh, that! That's Fuzl Ali, the Head 
 Vukeel of the Nawaub of Nawaubgunge. He's 
 down in Calcutta on a special mission on some 
 matter or other ! ' ' • 
 
 Charley Simpkin continued to watch the 
 native, and presently Colonel Boshington 
 (Army Routine Department) happened to 
 pass by. The Colonel looked rather imposing 
 in his full-dress staff uniform, adorned with 
 the order of the Bath (Civil Branch, for the 
 Colonel had never yet been sufficiently for- 
 tunate to see a shot fired in anger). Buzl Ali
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 89 
 
 mlaamed to him Avitli profound respect, and 
 amongst other compKments assured the 
 Colonel that he was the protector of the 
 suffering, that his intellect was sharp as a 
 point of Kusa grass, and that he Avas a very 
 lion in the art of war. Directly, however, the 
 said lion was out of ear-shot, YwA All's man- 
 ner suddenly changed, and his countenance 
 assumed a look of quick intelhgence in which 
 contempt was plainly mingled. He spoke a 
 few words to another richly-dressed native, 
 his companion, which the latter seemed to 
 deprecate by Avord and gesture. The native 
 with the black p iercing eyes replied scornfully, 
 and his manner was so expressive that he 
 seemed to say that nobody had sense enough 
 to understand what they were talking of, at 
 least, that was the purport of his remark, ac- 
 cording to the guesses of Charley Simpkin. 
 Fuzl Ali had scarcely finished his sentence 
 when his whole manner again changed, and 
 in spite of his great command over his coun- 
 tenance, seemed fairly disconcerted. Charley 
 Simpkin looked round and saw Captain Ash-
 
 90 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 leigli standing close to them. Eazl All made a 
 bow conveying far more real respect than his 
 exaggerated salaam to Colonel Boshington. 
 He seemed to know Ashleigh Sahib, for he 
 addressed him at once by name. When their 
 eyes met the native seemed keenly to scrutin- 
 ize the English officer, and not Avithont vm- 
 easiness, but Captain Ashleigh was quiet and 
 composed, and merely said, 'What, are you 
 there, Fuzl Ali r ' 
 
 'What did that black prince say, Ash- 
 leigh?' said Charley -Simpkin, a moment after- 
 Avards. 
 
 ' He said that Colonel Boshington was a 
 lion in the art of war ! ' replied the Captain 
 rather dryly, as he walked away. 
 
 ' Just as I thought ! ' muttered the young 
 man. ' These Indian officers are drilled into 
 mere machines. God's faculty of reason is 
 pipe-clayed out of them. They see nothing 
 even under their very noses ! ' The keen 
 glance of the lean native had fascinated the 
 Ensign. It had wandered to where Colonel 
 Boshington, Mr Windus, Mr Prettijohn, and
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 91 
 
 other exalted personages were collected round 
 a personage the most exalted of all. You will 
 think it great disrespect on the young man's 
 part, but lie had lately been studying the 
 writings of Mr Carlyle, and this is the thought 
 that suddenly came into his mind. 
 
 He looked upon all these great officers of 
 state as so many of that popular writer's 
 ' Windbags ! ' which the glance of the native 
 see;iied to pierce and utterly collapse. 
 
 And now Mr Charles Simpkin was to re- 
 ceive a rude shock. He had returned to the 
 ball-room, and was watching a quadrille. He 
 saw Mr Palmer Brown dancing away with 
 Sophy. He saw Major Pulfington Belper, her 
 vis-a-vis, labouring through the figures. Whilst 
 Charley was inwardly chuckling at the Field- 
 officer's evolutions, he little judged that with 
 three cruel words it was in the power of that 
 grotesque dancer to smite him into the dust. 
 
 Others besides Ensign Charles Simpkin 
 were carefully watching Miss Sophy. She 
 had now danced three dances with her present 
 partner. Every one was talking of her, as they
 
 92 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 will under such circumstances in India ; every 
 one was talking of liini. The Secretary to the 
 Poolscap Department was like the moon, a 
 round body shining with borrowed light. At 
 any rate there was httle in his exterior which 
 of itself could rivet the gaze of a large and 
 fashionable assembly. 
 
 The first thing that struck you on behold- 
 ing Mr Palmer Brown, was that he was a well- 
 shaven man. Oddly enough, on glancing at his 
 face this point was apparent even before you no- 
 ticed the evidences of his great political talents. 
 Theproperties of his shaving-paste, the principle 
 of his razor-strop, and the temper of his razors 
 must all have been perfect to produce so clean 
 and so smooth a surface, and to separate the 
 unshaved portion by such a crisp, straight, 
 black hue. As to the evidences of his fine 
 talents they were not so prominent. Charley 
 Simpkin declared he could never see them at 
 all, but then he was perusing the countenance 
 of a rival. A dumpy, rotund, neatly-dressed 
 man, his fat inexpressive face might have 
 marked talent or stupidity, courage or cruelty.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 93 
 
 a warm or a selfish cold heart. He only 
 looked — to the first gaze of the stranger — a 
 sleek, bloated nonentity. 
 
 'What about the Elegant Entangler? hey'/ 
 The Major in a moment of excessive imbecihty 
 had given Sophy this unmeaning nickname, 
 and it had been retained by the Major's im- 
 mediate friends. 
 
 ' Why, Major, she has had an accomplished 
 vis-a-vis, and a brilliant partner, and must be 
 sorry that the dance has come to a close ! ' 
 
 ' She is likely to have a much longer dance 
 with the same brilliant partner, young man 1 
 Haven't you heard it ? ' 
 
 ' Heard what, Major ? ' 
 
 ' She's en2:ao;ed to him ! ' 
 
 ' What, to that pasty dumpling — to that 
 Jack Pudding ! ' 
 
 ' To Mr Palmer Brown. For God's sake, 
 Simpkin, don't call a Calcutta Secretary a 
 " pasty dumpling " — in the presence of the 
 Governor-General of India ! ' 
 
 ' Halloa, Simpkin, there you are at last. 
 Why, that full-di-ess gold collar of yours makes
 
 94 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 your eyes start out of your head like goose- 
 berries, and you look half choked. Here's 
 Miss Blenkinsop ! You don't expect your 
 partners to find you out, do you? This is 
 your waltz.' And Mr ChifFney Chaffney 
 handed over a young lady with super-abund- 
 ant hght frizzly hair and restless eyes. I fear 
 that Ensign Simpkin did not much enjoy that 
 Avaltz with Miss Blenkinsop, and I fear that 
 Miss Blenkinsop did not much enjoy that 
 waltz with Ensign Simpkin. 
 
 Meanwhile Sophy, ignorant of all the in- 
 terest she was exciting, was thoroughly enjoy- 
 ing herself. Accustomed to the admiration paid 
 to a beauty in an English ball-room, she had 
 still little conception of what it was to be the 
 helle of an Indian ball-room. Anglo-Indians 
 are the most gallant of the world's cavaliers ; 
 and Judges, and Dragoons, Collectors and 
 Bengal Captains, bearded Irregular Cavalry 
 men, and Sepoy Ensigns battled together for 
 the tiniest corner of her card. She felt that 
 the other beauties were all eclipsed. She felt 
 that her appearance had made a sensation, and
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 95 
 
 Major Piilfiiigtcn Belper was the fortimatc 
 witness of lier greatest triumph of all. After 
 each dance the dancers walked round the room, 
 and as the Major was conducting her past the 
 upper end Avhere the persons of the very 
 highest consideration were seated, he and she 
 both caught these words : 
 
 ' And that's the celebrated Miss Sophy 
 BrabazoUj is it ? The young lady in the white 
 silk dress 1 ' 
 
 They looked round, and were quite startled 
 to see from what a lofty personage the words 
 really proceeded. 
 
 But in the history of the world few victories 
 are complete. A trifling circumstance occurred 
 a little later which galled her in the hour of 
 her triumph. During one of her dances with 
 Mr Palmer Brown, when they were walking 
 round the room, she suddenly saw a grave 
 earnest face looking at her and her partner, 
 and that with so scared an expression that it 
 riveted her eyes. Its features were not 
 irregular, they were clear cut, and certain per- 
 pendicular lines gave it rather a worn expres-
 
 96 OUT OV THE MESHES. 
 
 sion. The nose was rather prominent, and the 
 complexion very much sun-burnt. She could 
 only see the gentleman's face, and when she 
 asked who it was and tried to point him out 
 to Mr Palmer Brown, the face had disap- 
 peared. 
 
 Later on in the evening she was engaged 
 to a civilian of some standing, for a quadrille, 
 idr Choprow was too solid to indulge much in 
 airy small-talk, and so the conversation lan- 
 guished. By accident they had taken up their 
 position close to where Mr Vesey was standing 
 talking to a friend, and as Sophy could get 
 nothing out of her partner she was forced to 
 liear a great deal of the conversation behind 
 her. 
 
 ' And what have you been doing all this 
 lono- time ? I hear that vou have turned 
 Yogi' (Hindoo devotee). 
 
 'The pious Brahmins/ answered a voice, 
 not Mr Vesey's, ' recommend, you knoAv, a life 
 of meditation and seclusion as the fittest for 
 the philosopher and the seeker of peace. In 
 forests and on rocks and mountains, the god
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 97 
 
 Crislinu alone reveals the serenity of his 
 countenance. But my solitude was rather 
 forced, and I have been shooting a great deal, 
 in fact, taking more lives than is consistent 
 Avith the Hindoo scheme of excellence.' 
 
 But Mr Choprow, though a little ignorant 
 of the formalities of the dance, had now dis- 
 covered that it was his turn to lead Sophy 
 forward, and so the conversation was inter- 
 rupted. 
 
 When she returned she heard Mr Vesey 
 say, ' Well, well, I am delighted to have met 
 you. You really must go and see Mrs Vesey 
 at once. She will never forgive me if you 
 don't ; but how is this you are not dancing ? 
 Look here — ' 
 
 The conversation was now carried on in 
 whispers for some time, and the only words 
 Sophy could catch Avere, ' No, I assure you it 
 is quite out of my line ! ' but she knew in- 
 stinctively that they had talked of her, and 
 that the gentleman had refused to be intro- 
 duced ; but they had also said a great deal 
 more than that. As he came from behind 
 
 VOL. I, 7
 
 y» OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 the pillar wtiicli had hitherto concealed him, 
 she saw his face. It was the same she had 
 noticed staring at her from the crowd, an 
 officer in a rifle uniform whose breast was 
 covered with medals. Her adventures with 
 him that evening were not yet over. 
 
 Charley Si'mpkin met with rather an ad- 
 venture during his waltz with Miss Blenkin- 
 sop. His friends observed that his style of 
 dancing had very much changed, and that he 
 was now spinning up and down the room in a 
 reckless manner, and completely distancing 
 the 'racing civihans.' This style had its 
 inconveniences, for happening to trip over 
 the long spurs of Captain Spink, who was 
 floundering awkwardly about in wrong places, 
 our young friend, with his partner, would 
 have had an awkward fall if they had not 
 been arrested by a colossal bolster in the soft 
 and portly person of Colonel Boshington. 
 That grave officer, to his great surprise, found 
 himself rushing backwards and stamping on 
 the foot of the Calcutta official to whom he 
 was talking. That foot, a small neat one,
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 99 
 
 was nearly pulverized, as the Colonel was a 
 man of great weight, whose foot was not 
 small and neat. 
 
 'Hey, sir! — dash it, sir! What do you 
 mean, sir ! ' cried the officer of the Routine 
 Department, as soon as he could recover his 
 breath. ' This is most unprecedented, sir ! 
 You'll find, sir, that an officer of rank is not to 
 be trifled with ! It is a breach of the articles 
 of Avar, sir. You have rendered yourself 
 liable to a court martial, sir. Dash it, sir, a 
 court martial ! ' 
 
 It must be mentioned in this officer's 
 favour that this strong language on his part 
 Avas quite exceptional, as Colonel Boshington 
 Avas serious, theologically as Avell as ijhjsiolo- 
 gically. But suddenly to receive a vigorous 
 Avaltzer plump in the middle of your abdomen 
 is enough to unsettle the most strict. 
 
 ' I am afraid you hurt him very much ! ' 
 said Miss Blenkinsop Avhen they had sKded 
 aAvay again to a remote part of the room. ' I 
 was so, so frightened ! ' 
 
 ' I am not very frightened about it, nor
 
 100 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 very sorry. He's like one of the enemies of 
 the Psalmist, inclosed in his own fat and hi& 
 mouth speaking proud things ! ' 
 
 ' Oh, how very wicked you are ! I am 
 quite afraid of you. I was told you were 
 very wicked and amusing ; and what do you 
 think? — at first I thought you very stupid. 
 I did, indeed. See the other man, he's hurt, 
 he's limping out of the room. Mr Palmer 
 Brown, I think ? ' 
 
 ' I'm still less sorry about him ! It is the 
 first time I've seen him dance properly to- 
 night.' 
 
 ' You gave the Colonel a good slmnt, at 
 any rate ! ' said Miss Blenkinsop, who affected 
 military slang. 
 
 "When he had resigned his partner, Charley 
 Simpkin hurried off, he scarcely knew whi- 
 ther. Suddenly he found himself in the 
 corner where Mrs Vesey was sitting. ' She 
 Avill know, at any rate ! ' thought he. She 
 was quite alone, and he took the vacant seat 
 near her. 
 
 ' What is this little secret, Mrs Vesey, that
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 101 
 
 3'ou have kept so well all day ? Had I been 
 better informed 1 should have offered my con- 
 gratulations.' 
 
 ' Secret ! Congratulations ! I have no 
 idea, Mr Simpkin, to what you allude ! ' 
 
 ' You mean to tell me, Mrs Vesey, you did 
 not know that Miss Sophy Brabazon was en- 
 £fao;ed to be married ! ' 
 
 ' Engaged to be married ! You must be 
 joking, Mr Simpkin ! what do you mean ? ' 
 
 Our young friend then narrated all that 
 had been told him by Major Pulfington 
 Belper. 
 
 ' A most improbable story ! 1 am sure 
 there must be some mistake ! ' said Mrs 
 Vesey when she had heard the narrative. 
 She looked, however, far more uneasy than 
 she wished to show. Her husband came up 
 a short time afterwards, and she conversed 
 with him in a low tone of voice. Both Mr 
 Vesey and his wife seemed as much affected 
 by the news as the ardent young Ensign him- 
 self. 
 
 The latter had left them and had with-
 
 10.2 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 dravrn to some distance, Avlien looking round 
 he found that Captain Ashleigh had joined 
 them, and all three were conversing anxiously 
 in a low tone of voice. Charley Simpkin took 
 out his card of the dances, and found he 
 was now engaged for a quadrille with Miss 
 Sophy. 
 
 ' Insult to injury ! ' he muttered, forget- 
 ting that the compact was of his own binding. 
 ' I Avon't dance with her ! ' He waited pa- 
 tiently until he saw her led back to her seat 
 near Mrs Vesey, and then went up to her. 
 
 ' You must excuse me for this quadrille. 
 Miss Sophy Brabazon. I don't feel quite 
 Avell. I've had a sort of a — ' 
 
 ' Shock ; yes, I saw it, against that funny 
 old Colonel.' 
 
 ' Yes ; a shock,' replied the Ensign, at- 
 tempting something the manner of a tragedian 
 who finds the stage direction 'bitterly' op- 
 posite a sentence in his part. 
 
 ' It made me laugh very much. I was a long^ 
 way off. I hope you are really not much hurt.' 
 
 ' Hurt ! No ! I dare say I shall get over it.^
 
 OUT or THE MESHES. 103 
 
 ' Poor boy ! He seems put out with some- 
 thing? ' said Sophy, after he had left. 
 
 * As you have lost one partner, allow me to 
 provide another, and introduce Captain Ash- 
 leigh to you.' 
 
 ' Why, really,' interrupted the Captain, ' I 
 am so bad a dancer — I am, in fact, no dancer 
 at all' 
 
 ' Oh, nonsense ! I insist on your making 
 him dance, Sophy ! He's getting quite a 
 bear ! ' 
 
 ' And bears must be taught to dance ! ' 
 chimed in Mr Vesey, and Captain Ashleigh 
 w^as forced to offer his arm to Miss Sophy 
 Brabazon. 
 
 ' It is the ofhcer who refused to be intro- 
 duced just now,' thought the young lady. 
 ' Ashleigh, that is the name of the Captain 
 living with Charley Simpkin, who is so afraid 
 of ladies. He deserves to be quizzed a little, I 
 think I'll draw him out ! How^ bashful and 
 timid w^e are ! ' 
 
 And carried away by the intoxication of 
 her recent triumph she said things to a com-
 
 104 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 plete stranger ^vliicli would have astonished 
 her at any other time. Which did he hke 
 best, waltzes or polkas ? All Indian officers 
 were great dancers, were they not? And 
 great admirers of ladies' toilettes. AYhicli 
 lady's toilette did he admire most that night ? 
 Was it not true that all officers in India were 
 much more attentive to ladies than gentlemen 
 in England ? What was the reason of that 
 fact? Was it the idle Indian life, or the 
 chivalry always associated with the career of 
 arms? Thus she rattled on. Two things 
 struck her. Though Captain Ashleigh was a 
 stranger, all this frankness seemed to come 
 quite natural to her when talking to him. 
 Also he seemed to take it quite as a matter of 
 course, and to talk to her as if he had known 
 her well for years. 
 
 ' You must think me a great chatterbox ! 
 Confess you never talked to such a giddy 
 young lady before.' 
 
 ' On the contrary, it seems as if I could 
 have guessed beforehand almost every word 
 vou would utter.'
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 105 
 
 ' Indeed — you surprise me very much ! 
 You must be a great judge of character to 
 guess that I should be so giddy.' 
 
 ' I think I can guess your character.' 
 
 ' Is it so much on the surface ? ' 
 
 'No.' 
 
 ' Then how could vou know I would rattle 
 
 t/ 
 
 on in this way ? What motive could I have 
 had?' 
 
 ' Don't you know why you said all these 
 things ? ' 
 
 'Upon my soul, T have almost forgotten. 
 Tell me — you who are so unexpectedly and 
 alarmingly prescient. Give me a proof of 
 your powers.' 
 
 ' You were told by little Simpkin that I 
 avoided ladies' society, and a love of fun is 
 one of your three most prominent character- 
 istics.' 
 
 'Well, I must confess that there is a 
 charming frankness about Indian manners, 
 which I had been led to expect in India, but 
 with regard to which I had hitherto been 
 most woefully disappointed.'
 
 106 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 Trankness for frankness, have not you 
 been frank ? ' 
 
 ' Oh, I am not complaming. You have 
 ah'eady settled three of my most prominent 
 characteristics. I insist upon your telKng me 
 the other two.' 
 
 ' One is your strength and the other your 
 weakness..' 
 
 ' Oh, then by all means the weakness 
 first. 
 
 ' Your second, your weakness, is vanity. 
 Your third, your strength, is pride.' 
 
 ' Vanity ! Pride ! I curtsey low ! 'Pon my 
 word, I don't know which I ought most to 
 be thankful for 1 ' 
 
 ' The two qualities are widely distinct, if 
 I had time to give you a sermon ! ' 
 
 ' A sermon, do, do ! To an accompani- 
 ment of trombones and fiddles.' 
 
 ' Vanity is a woman's weak point which 
 the enemy — ' 
 
 ' Of her soul — give your sermon a proper 
 twang — ' 
 
 ' Exactly ; but the enemy now-a-days
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 107 
 
 v.ears crinoline and not horns, and tempts 
 Avitli a tree not of knowledge but of glare and 
 glitter and children's toys. Dresses and 
 jeAvels and tinsel rivalries and ambitions are 
 petty things enough, and the instinct that is 
 traded on is at bottom a wholesome instinct, 
 for it is deep in woman's nature to cling to 
 all that adorns and refines this commonplace 
 world. The pitiable circumstance is, that the 
 mountain 2:uide, Avhose dutv it is to look 
 after, the traveller, should lead her not from 
 but to the precipice. Many poor victims 
 have I seen Avho wxre innocent and gentle, 
 but they lacked one quality — pride ! ' 
 
 ' Pride ! ' said Miss Sophy, on whom the 
 solemn and almost tender tones of the Cap- 
 tain's voice had made an impression. 
 
 'Yes, the pride that shrinks from the 
 mean path to a mean end.' 
 
 ' Admirable,' said Sophy, recovering her- 
 self, ' but suppose, sir, you should have been 
 a little hasty in adopting the unfavourable 
 tittle-tattle of idle Indian society about a 
 perfect stranger.'
 
 108 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' I have not adopted the tittle-tattle of 
 Indian society, I have rejected it,' 
 
 ' Rejected it ! Rejected what ? Explain ! ' 
 
 ' To a perfect stranger ? ' 
 
 ' Yes, the rebuke is merited I How funny 
 this conversation is. But do tell me — you 
 seem kind and obHging — do tell me what you 
 meant by the tittle-tattle you referred to.' 
 
 ' First they say you are a coquette.' 
 
 ' A coquette ! Oh, I suppose all ladies are 
 called that, and what can they — what can you 
 know — ' 
 
 ' Nothing ; yet — •' 
 
 * How do you mean ? ' 
 
 ' India is a burning crucible, and you 
 have not yet been put to the test. Shall I 
 tell you what else they say of you ? ' 
 
 ' Pray do ; this is getting quite confi- 
 dential.' 
 
 ' They say you are engaged to be married 1 ' 
 Captain Ashleigh seemed to glance at her as 
 he pronounced these words. 
 
 ' To be married — I ! ' 
 
 ' To Mr Palmer Brown.'
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 109 
 
 ' I eno-ased to be married to Mr Palmer 
 Brown ! ' 
 
 ' It is not true, I am well aware — ' 
 
 ' Really, Captain Aslileigh, this is going a 
 little too far. What can you possibly know 
 upon subjects like the present ? ' 
 
 ' I know the report is not true.' 
 
 ' How do you know that ? ' 
 
 ' Because you are the friend of Mrs Vesey.' 
 
 ' I can't see the connection of your rea- 
 soning.' 
 
 'Whilst you are the firm friend of Mrs 
 Vesey you will never give your hand to a man 
 whom you do not love.' There was some 
 solemnity in the tone of the Captain as he 
 spoke these words. 
 
 ' I am afraid I must ask you to take me 
 back to my seat, as I see a tiresome man look- 
 ing for me for the next dance. How have 
 you come to form such positive conclusions ! ' 
 This last question she tried not to ask, but it 
 would come out. 
 
 ' I have gained my facts from my know- 
 ledge of you — nothing more.' This was
 
 110 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 the end of this mysterious conversation. Re- 
 garded in the light of a mere skirmish with 
 ' the enemy/ Sophy was forced to confess 
 that it was a failure. The awkward officer, in- 
 stead of being ' drawn out/ had on the whole 
 rather drawn her out. 
 
 ' It is not true ! ' whispered Captain Ash- 
 leigh to Mrs Vesey as he shook hands with 
 her at parting. 
 
 ' Thank God for that ! ' she replied with 
 fervour. Why should Mrs Vesey thank God 
 that Sophy was not engaged to the Calcutta 
 Secretary for the Foolscap Department? 
 
 Ensign Charles Simpkin on entering his 
 bungalow that night called for two bottles of 
 soda-water and some brandy. This not being 
 brought quick enough, he called his servant a 
 pig and the son of an owl. This was the first 
 example of Eastern metaphor that he had yet 
 employed towards any of his native servants. 
 Two bottles of soda-water were scarcely suf- 
 ficient to quench his insatiable thirst. A book 
 was open upon the bed. It was the ' Sakon- 
 tala/ Major Pultington Belper's favourite
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. Ill 
 
 drama. Charley found the leaf turned down 
 at a passage which had struck him immensely 
 when the bearer was brushing his hair just 
 before the ball. 
 
 Could mortal to such charms give birtli ? 
 The lightning flashes not from earth.' 
 
 There was little logic and less justice in the 
 impulse which almost moved him to throw the 
 volume at the ' Blinking Idolater's ' head. 
 
 For half the night he tossed in his bed, 
 but at last he went to sleep and had a dream. 
 He dreamt he was King Dushyanta, mount- 
 ed on ' Tippoo/ which seemed indeed to 
 outstrip the horses of Indra and the sun, 
 but which, as it had its head well down, 
 was on its way — at least so His Majesty 
 could not help fancying — to the Mess of the 
 44th Nowgong Native Infantry. Suddenly 
 the sacred penitential groves came in sight 
 with the fawns and the parrots ; and soon the 
 lovely Sakontala appeared watering the jas- 
 mines, and looking very like Miss Sophy 
 Brabazon.
 
 112 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' What portents my throbbing arm ! ' As a 
 Hindoo prince our young friend knew that 
 this whispered a happy ending to his passion. 
 
 Suddenly a vague terror came over him 
 that something dreadful was going to happen 
 to her, and she seemed to beckon to him for 
 assistance. The sunny garden changed, the 
 Patala or trumpet flower, the Acacia Serisha, 
 and the orange scarlet flowers of the beautiful 
 Asoka tree, Avere whirled away, and all seemed 
 dark and grim. He looked down, and finding 
 that he had on his fall-dress uniform he drew 
 his sword and advanced to her protection. 
 Suddenly Mr Palmer BroAvn with a keen ra- 
 pier seems to attack him, and the Ensign is 
 compelled to employ all the skill of fence 
 picked up in the rooms of Messrs Angelo to 
 defend himself. And behold the sword of 
 Mr Palmer Brown seems to curve about in a 
 most singular manner, and oiu' young friend 
 discovers that it has changed into a scimitar, 
 and that his antagonist has become the lean 
 sharp native of the ball. The latter appears 
 suddenly to drop his weapon and direct his
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 113 
 
 piercing eye full into the Ensign's face, who 
 then felt himself fascinated, paralyzed, unable 
 to stir limb or muscle. The moment of agony 
 was extreme. He seemed to take in every- 
 thing, his own helplessness, the helplessness 
 of Miss Sophy Brabazon, and the native seemed 
 to see all this, and to take a delight in pro- 
 longing his intense misery. Suddenly a voice 
 very like Captain Ashleigh's said very calmly, 
 
 ' Hulloa, Fuzl Ali, is that you?' 
 
 And then the native on his part seemed 
 struck with extreme terror and fled, 
 
 A slim waist, which the young officer knew 
 to be Miss Brabazon's, was now within his 
 grasp, and he felt himself waltzing round and 
 round in the most ecstatic manner. 
 
 ' You will not again doubt me ! ' a sweet 
 voice exclaimed ; there was the sweetest of 
 smiles on the sweetest of faces. 
 
 ' Never ! ' 
 
 ' Nor cibandon me in the dance ? ' she 
 laughingly continued. There was much comic 
 force in the emphasis of the word ' aban- 
 don.'
 
 114 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 ' Never, never ! Thus let us dance on for 
 ever ! ' 
 
 Suddenly, however, the slim Avaist of Miss 
 Sophy began to get bigger and bigger, and 
 her form to get heavier and heavier. 
 
 ' Hey, sir — confound it, sir — dash it, sir !' 
 said the young lady. ' To waltz with a mili- 
 tary secretary is most unprecedented, sir ! It 
 is a breach of the articles of war, sir. You 
 have rendered yourself liable to a court-mar- 
 tial — dash it, sir — a court-martial ! ' 
 
 And the Ensign found himself whirling 
 rapidly round in the dance Colonel Boshing- 
 ton, Military Secretary, Army Routine De- 
 partment.
 
 115 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE BIUGADIEr's GATES. 
 
 MR CHAELES SIMPKi:?^ TO MISS DOEA STAIDLEIGK, 
 BUDLEIGH SALTERTON, DEVON. 
 
 ' Barraclcpore, JDeceoiiber 4^tJi, 1S5 — . 
 
 ' Dear Dora, — 
 
 ' What an outrageous abuse of au- 
 thority ! I knew that Brigadier Dewsnap 
 had refused everybody every possible indulg- 
 ence,— but fancy a meritorious officer like me 
 refused leave to go to-night to the ball at the 
 Town Hall, Calcutta, and that because my 
 application was not written in a legible hand. 
 An officer in command of a brigade of 
 soldiers actually finds fault with a man's 
 handwriting like a crabbed old governess ! 
 Mark the moderation of your amiable cor-
 
 IIG OUT OF THE MESHES, 
 
 respondent, who has courtesy enough to sup- 
 press the obvious sarcasm which traces another 
 point of resemblance between the Brigadier 
 and a governess ! 
 
 ' A bad handwriting indeed ! The idea 
 is preposterous. No man of genius writes 
 Hke a Bahoo. But handwriting denotes cha- 
 racter, and a man holding an important post 
 should at least have penetration enough to 
 recognize from his handwriting a more than 
 ordinary man, even if he could not, like 
 Madame Pattes de Mouche, recognize — a 
 Simpkin (for the moderate charge of one shil- 
 ling. See Advertisements). 
 
 ' Here must I undergo cruel incarceration 
 whilst all Calcutta is basking in the sunshine 
 of Sophy Brabazon's beauty. Those silly 
 young civilians are chirping around her ; and 
 Mr Chiffney Chaffney is giving her the fresh- 
 est hon mot from Cooke's Livery Stables. 
 The idiotic Spink is blundering through the 
 dance ; and as for that atrocious fat little Se- 
 cretary, let me not think of him. I told you 
 of the ridiculous " shave " we had down here
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 117 
 
 about him and lier. It turns out it was some 
 mistake of old Pulfington Belper. Somebody 
 told him Mr Palmer Brown was engaged to 
 Tiffin, or upon an animated public corre- 
 spondence wdtli the Rajah of Kedgeree, or that 
 Miss Sophy was engaged for the fourth waltz, 
 or something of the kind, and in his usual 
 absence of mind he manufactured the canard 
 alluded to. He has gone off to the ball in 
 a bran-new uniform. The old gentleman is 
 most desperately and most hopelessly in love. 
 Now for any old (or even young) gentleman 
 to be desperately in love and at the same 
 time hopelessly is foolish. — Argal; Major 
 Pulfington Belper is foolish ! 
 
 ' Pancy my being doomed to remain here. 
 Ought 1 not to invoke a million curses on 
 the head of him who hinders me ? 
 
 ' May the Brigadier commanding be kept 
 awake all night by the shrillest of musk rats. 
 May his curry, his chutney, his pillau, his 
 kabobs, all disagree with him. May armies 
 of the most venomous mosquitoes lash him 
 into a frenzy of multitudinous microscopic
 
 118 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 tortures ! May he be visited by the most 
 turbid of dreams. 
 
 ' A thought strikes me. I can reheve my 
 feehngs of disgust, and I can reheve the mo- 
 notony of my sohtude, by sketchmg Brigadier 
 Dewsnap's cliaracter from his handwriting. 
 Does not its general scratchy and angular 
 crookedness give even the tyro a glimpse of 
 the class of mind of which it is significant 1 
 Of course such a man would refuse to grant 
 the most rational indulgences. Why, the very 
 w^ay in which those f^ are crossed denotes 
 the capricious manner in w^hicli he would 
 cross everybody he could in every imaginable 
 innocent gratification, and the exaggerated 
 violence of his severity is manifested in those 
 harsh down - strokes. Every word, every 
 letter, announces, as clearly as Avords and 
 letters can announce, that the signature at the 
 bottom belongs to a gentleman whose afifabil- 
 ity and good temper have been entirely de- 
 stroyed by too long a residence in a tropical 
 climate. Musquitoes, musk rats, cayenne 
 cookery, and prickly heat, have produced ex-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 119 
 
 cessive irritability, whilst mullagatawny and 
 monsoons have evidently deranged the fanc- 
 tions of his liver. 
 
 ' Brigadier Dewsnap has been all his life a 
 Civil Engineer, and perhaps the construction 
 of roads in flinty and rocky districts may 
 have also had its effect on v^diat was soft in 
 his nature. The ways of the Indian Govern- 
 ment are droll. In any other army but the 
 Indian army if search had to be made for the 
 fittest man to command a body of soldiers, 
 the choice would have fallen on a soldier and 
 not on a builder of bungalows. 
 
 ' I don't quarrel wdth the Brigadier as an 
 engineer. I dare say not more than half of 
 his barracks have yet fallen down. I have 
 seen one of his bridges. It is a very pretty 
 one, and is not within forty yards of any river, 
 but this is not unusual in India where rivers 
 are migratory. What I find fault with is his 
 having penned the following — making, as I do, 
 every allowance for the fact that the Brigadier 
 came into the service long before army ex- 
 aminations were established.
 
 120 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' " Returned. 
 
 ' " The Brigadier commanding will steadily 
 refuse to grant any indulgences to all officers 
 who are too careless to comply with regulations 
 — wdiich distinctly lay down that their hand 
 must be legible, and in black and not blue 
 ink — which is as essential to a due discharge 
 of military duties as courage in the field and 
 discipline in the cantonments, which young 
 officers will bear always in mind. 
 
 C. Dewsnap." 
 
 ' You will agree Avith me that if the Bri- 
 gadier constructed his edifices no better than 
 his sentences, people would have some hesita- 
 tion in living in them. 
 
 ^if * * ^j^ -^ ^ 
 
 ' I was forced to break off, and have not 
 been able to go on for two or three days. 
 My friend Major Pulfington Belper did not 
 enjoy the ball. He favoured me the next 
 morning with the results of fortv or fiftv 
 years' close study of the mission of woman in 
 the world, but his conclusions don't seem to 
 be in any way definite or satisfactory.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 121 
 
 ' " Ton my word, Sinipkin, I really can't 
 make 'em out. AVoman was evidently sent 
 to console man, and I don't think any man 
 can be really happy unless he is married. 
 It's a law of nature, you know, which can't be 
 broken. You must marry one day, so must 
 I. But, by heavens, if woman is miraculously 
 organized for the purpose of soothing, she is 
 organized in equal perfection to irritate and 
 drive a man frantic. These Calcutta young 
 ladies ! They can't understand any devotion 
 but that of the Durveesh I We must marry 
 some day, for marriage with a lady -like woman 
 refines and elevates. Gad, for refinement 
 and rudeness that sex is matchless." 
 
 'Beauties' out here become more saucy 
 than in England. They receive so much 
 more attention. Some of them were a little 
 pert, no doubt, to my friend, who is no great 
 dancer. It is said that the young ladies in 
 this country engage themselves to as many 
 partners as they can for each dance, and then 
 select the one they like best. There is no 
 doubt gross exaggeration in this as in all
 
 122 OUT OE THE MESHES. 
 
 other pithy sayings, and I can point out one 
 young lady at least Avho does nothing of the 
 kind. Woman's mission ! Observe, my fair 
 correspondent, how your sex bewilders phi- 
 losophers even of the profundity of — Major 
 Pulfington Belper. I know a young lady 
 more shrewd, clever, and witty than most of 
 her sex, more pure and unselfish, more — (but 
 mere physical advantages are quite beneath 
 the consideration of elevated minds !) What, 
 in the name of goodness, can cause so gifted a 
 lady to prefer before all gentlemen and phi- 
 losophers, a mere pudding of a man, with 
 pudding brains, pudding shape, and pudding 
 for soul? He has just enough intellect to 
 make the pudding of this Avorld his sole 
 scheme of life, and such men always succeed, 
 at least in the eyes of those who consider 
 this round globe one gigantic pudding. Posi- 
 tively, I won't believe that she can love such 
 a man as this. 
 
 ' Brigadier Dewsnap, commanding, has just 
 experienced an example of that retribution 
 which alwavs overtakes a breach of the hiw
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 123 
 
 of rio'lit and Avrono'. A custom lias arisen 
 in military cantonments in India, of which 
 it would be difficult to explain the origin. 
 Whenever any Brigadier or Colonel makes 
 himself particularly obnoxious people go and 
 pull down the gates of his compound (enclo- 
 sure round his house). I don't know that 
 there is much meaning in the act, or if it con- 
 tains jiny hidden satire. All I know^ is, that a 
 party of the younger officers, all of us injured 
 in some way or another, proposed that this 
 act of signal vengeance should be executed 
 upon the Brigadier. After mess we saUied 
 out and boldly demolished his gates. The 
 Brigadier was furious. Im.agine Timour the 
 Tartar with his nose tweaked, or Colonel 
 Boshington asked politely by an ensign to 
 take wine, or Tippoo Sultaun poked famiharly 
 in the ribs at a moment when he was enjoy- 
 ing his tiger-toy, and you have some idea of 
 the terrific anger of this most irritable Bri- 
 gade officer. He ordered a patrol of thirty 
 men in the main road of cantonments every 
 nidit, until further orders. The event, trifling
 
 124 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 as it may seem, lias produced an immense 
 sensation. To-night or to-morrow night 
 there is some talk of repeating the act, only 
 this is in the strictest confidence. I hear that 
 a certain young lady made more sensation 
 than ever the other night at the ball — a 
 certain young lady whom the angels call 
 Lenore — lost to me for evermore. 
 
 ' Yours, &c/ 
 
 The excitement caused bv the act of 
 hostility of Ensign Simpkin and his young 
 friends was now indeed great at Barrackpore. 
 Officers sipping their cofibe under the veran- 
 dah of the mess house after parade have not 
 much to talk about, and the Brigadier's gates 
 furnished a pleasing change to minds a little 
 fatigued by Major Tomkinson and his 'line 
 step,' and by the great Calcutta question of 
 the vacant Residency at Nawaubgunge. But 
 this excitement was much augmented when 
 the insubordinate young men repeated their 
 operations a few days afterwards. The old 
 officers began to speak seriously about it, and
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 125 
 
 hinted in the presence of the presumed of- 
 fenders, that they were running great risks. 
 Nothing daunted, the young Samsons, the 
 very day after they had carried away the 
 gates, called on the Brigadier and added 
 insult to injury. 
 
 ' Is the Brigadier Sahib at home ? ' 
 
 ' Dunvaze hund SaJiih log,' said the Bri- 
 gadier's black servant. ' The Brigadier Sahib 
 is unwell, and does not receive to-day. The 
 gates are closed ! ' 
 
 LeJcin dunvaze Jcis iiiriih sc hund ho gye — 
 Jcoi dunuasa nahin Jiai ! remarked Ensign 
 Hodges. ('But how can the gates be shut? 
 There don't seem to be any gates to close ! ' 
 The pleasantry was reported to the Briga- 
 dier, and it made him more furious than 
 ever. 
 
 Of the old officers none was more shocked 
 at these proceedings than our old friend, Major 
 Pulfington Belper. Veneration for all author- 
 ity was his leading characteristic, as we have 
 before noticed, and many were the stories cur- 
 rent against him in the regiment upon this
 
 126 OUT OF THE 3IESHES. 
 
 particular point. One day, at Simla, he had 
 conversed with a fat gentleman who sat next 
 to him at dinner, as if he was talking to an 
 ordinary Major Smith or Colonel BroAvn. ' I 
 didn't know, yon know, that it was the Secre- 
 tary to the Army Routine Department I ' He 
 was never tired of thus apologizing to all 
 comers for his mistake ; and at the same place, 
 when he was drinking his tea one morning in 
 the verandah, he heard a noise, and rushed 
 out with a shrill Clnif rao, soor log! (Be silent, 
 O generation of pigs!) What was his con- 
 sternation to find himself suddenly confronted 
 with The Most N-ble, the G-vernor Gen- 
 ral of Ind-a ! It is said that his bewildered 
 appearance as he stood with his- spectacles on 
 his red nose, in his shirt and pa gam as, with- 
 out coat or hat, attempting all sorts of salutes 
 and impromptu gestures of respect, was so 
 comical, that it extorted a smile from that 
 grave functionary, who happened to have lost 
 his way. 
 
 Upon the present occasion Major Pulf- 
 ington Belper strongly denounced the conduct
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 127 
 
 of the young men. ' It's mutiny ! Begad, it's 
 mutiny ! Those young fellows had better be 
 careful, Simpkin, they had indeed. It's very 
 serious ! Hey !' He even thought it right to 
 call upon the Brigadier to let him know 
 quietly — using of course all possible tact in so 
 dehcate a matter — that the feeling of the 
 station was quite against all these proceedings. 
 This well-meant kindness was not taken in 
 very good part. 
 
 'D — the station, sir, and you tool' 
 vociferated Brigadier Dewsnap, who, it must 
 be confessed, had a casing of flannel on one of 
 his legs at the time. ' Do you take me for a 
 baby, sir, that I can't look after myself ? Have 
 I been in the service forty-three years, sir, 
 or have I not ! And during that time have I 
 had all my subordinates under my thumb, sir, 
 or have I not ! Under my thumb, sir — mind, 
 under my thumb ! Nobody could yet say 
 that his life was his own when under me, sir, 
 and I'll take care they shan't now. Wait a 
 bit, sir, and you'll see that I'm quite able to 
 protect myself, sir.'
 
 128 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 And to show that he was thus able, he 
 issued an order that very day that 200 Sepoys 
 should patrol the roads every night under the 
 orders of the Pield-officer of the week, with 
 two European subalterns. Masons also and 
 builders appeared next day in the Brigadier's 
 compound, and the Ex- Civil Engineer was 
 seen in his sola topee, and without his coat, 
 superintending preparations on a large scale. 
 In a few days two very massive brick pillars 
 replaced the old wooden gate-posts, and a very 
 strong timber barrier with iron spikes at the 
 top was set up. Major Balderson, the Major 
 of Brigade, assisted upon these ' works,' with 
 trowel and pick. Major Balderson had rather 
 a time of it under Brigadier Dewsnap. 
 
 The Brigadier's house was by far the 
 largest and most straggling house in canton- 
 ments. Also it might almost be said that it 
 was entirely unfurnished. A camp bedstead 
 and a brass wash-hand basin were in one room, 
 and half-a-dozen chairs and an old table in the 
 large dining-room. The Brigadier, always 
 unsocial, and at present uncertain about the
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 129 
 
 duration of liis command, was professedly 
 living 'camp fashion.' The remaining Rirniture 
 of the dining-room consisted of specimens of the 
 Brigadier's skill in mechanical inventions, upon 
 which he rather prided himself. There Avas a 
 wonderful ' thermantidote/ a machine used in 
 the hot season to produce an artificial current of 
 air by means of a wheel turned by hand-labour. 
 Also there was a wonderful circular punkah 
 which nobody had yet seen in working order. 
 Then there were half-a-dozen hats of remark- 
 able construction, designed to protect the head 
 against the Indian sun. Of these it might be 
 said generically that Col. Dewsnap had the 
 various grotesque developments of the toad- 
 stool in mind, when shaping every one of 
 them. Each was three times as large as an 
 ordinary hat. One was like a gigantic flat 
 toadstool, with a low crown rising up in the 
 middle. One was like a large planter's hat, 
 protected by a ' Cole's cupola,' pierced for six 
 guns. The pyramids of Egypt seemed to 
 have suggested the shape of another. All were 
 made of pith, and had wonderful windows and 
 
 VOL. I. 9
 
 130 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 doors and curtains and inner cases. There 
 amidst his hats and punkahs did our crabbed 
 old friend sit all day, growling at his Sepoy 
 orderlies, his servants, and his Brigade-Major. 
 The latter was supremely thankful any day if 
 he escaped an invitation to dine with his ill- 
 tempered patron, who amongst other ingenious 
 discoveries had invented a beer. He had 
 started the idea of growing hops at Nynee Tal, 
 in the Himalayas. Poor Major Balderson 
 scarcely knew which was the most unpalatable 
 at the Brigadier's board — his host's rude re- 
 marks, or his ' Sparkling Himalayan Burton.' 
 The gold-laced cap of a Staff officer is prized 
 absurdly high in India, but even that may 
 perhaps be bought at too dear a price. 
 
 Before the Brigadier's massive barrier was 
 quite completed another attempt was made 
 upon it. Major Winkworth, the Field-officer 
 on duty, was luke-warm in his patrolhng, and 
 so the effort was made with impunity, but 
 was not very successful, owing to the strength 
 of the Brigadier's obstructions. These were 
 noAv quite completed, and the lukewarm Wink-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 131 
 
 worth was replaced by an officer who was by 
 HO means lukewarm upon the subject. 
 
 ' Now look here, Simpkin/ said Major 
 Pulfington Belper, as the young man visited 
 him one morning in his bungalow. ' I'm 
 Pield-officer of the week now, and that gate- 
 lifting business is very serious. I've told the 
 Brigadier I'll do my utmost to stop it, and I 
 Avill too — begad — Hey ! Why, if it comes to 
 mere running, I could catch any young fellow 
 in the station. They'll find I'm not Wink- 
 worth.' 
 
 ' I hear, Major, that you're the best runner 
 in India, so those infatuated young men had 
 better be careful.' 
 
 ' Yes, Simpkin, they had ; mind, it's no 
 joking matter, they had,' and the Field-officer 
 looked gravely upon the subaltern. 
 
 The Major's bungalow presented a curious 
 scene. The furniture was incongruous, scanty, 
 and half of it broken. Of his guns only one re- 
 mained. In the various rooms his property 
 was lying about in picturesque disorder. 
 Uniform, coats, and swords, racket bats, quoits,
 
 132 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 fencing masks, one broken foil, two single- 
 sticks, three oars, several native tulwars 
 (sabres), a prayer-book, a bottle of cholera 
 mixture, another of Macassar oil, half a bottle 
 of cognac, and six large order-books covered 
 with brown leather ; these were some of the 
 articles which Mr Charles Simpkin observed 
 scattered around. On the Avail was a triangle 
 with pegs on which were hung forage caps 
 and pith helmets. Three billiard cues were 
 hung up to straighten. In one corner of the 
 room were four cheroot boxes full of clay 
 marbles, and alongside was the guleel bow, by 
 aid of which these were propelled at crows and 
 squirrels. In another corner were at least 
 twenty bushels of carrots for the Major's 
 horses. T'our bear-skins were on the floor, and 
 thrust into a corner in the bed-room was a pile 
 of muslin, of which the Major had become the 
 unwitting purchaser at the China bazar. At 
 an auction he had bid for one piece, and found 
 thirty pieces knocked down to him. The 
 Sontals amongst whom the Major had lately 
 sojourned have a pecuHar axe, which they em-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 1:33 
 
 ploy to cut down tlieir trees in time of peace 
 and their foes in time of war. Several speci- 
 mens of these were lying about, also two crow- 
 bars and a heavy mallet for pitching the 
 Major's tent. Mr Simpkin seemed to glance 
 w^ith some interest at these various objects as 
 he replied to the Major's somewhat pointed 
 remark. 
 
 ' Prom the way in which you talk, Major, 
 one would almost think that you believe that 
 I am capable of annoying the esteemed ami- 
 able gentleman in command of the station.' 
 
 ' Oh no ; mind, Simpkin, I don't accuse 
 any one.' 
 
 ' With his strong gates, his great engi- 
 neering skill, with his smartly-dressed Brigade- 
 Major to assist him in strengthening his 
 masonry, and with an alert and swift-footed 
 partisan to protect them, if those gates are not 
 secure, what in life can be ! ' 
 
 ' Look here, Simpkin, fun is fun, and you 
 young griffs, begad, are saucy young fellows. 
 Hey ! But mutiny is a serious matter, and it 
 is mutiny ! Besides, you young men of the
 
 134 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 present day sliould really pay more respect to 
 authority. You are all clever enough, no doubt, 
 but you're not so clever as Burke, who said 
 that a generous loyalty, a proud submission, 
 a dignified obedience to rank, kept alive the 
 spirit of exalted freedom. Chivalry and honour 
 to age and rank, may be old-fashioned now — ' 
 
 ' But I tell you. Major, I honour Brigadier 
 Dewsnap's grey hairs, and so, I'm sure, do all 
 his other young admirers.' 
 
 ' Here, Ashleigh, come and talk to this 
 young mutineer about the Brigadier's gates ! ' 
 Captain Ashleigh had appeared in the Major's 
 compound at this moment. 
 
 ' I suspect he knows as much as you or I 
 can tell him. Major ! ' said the Captain, rather 
 gruffly. 
 
 ' He w^on't believe the matter to be most 
 serious ! ' 
 
 ' Won't he ! ' said the other, dryly. He 
 was puffing a big cheroot in a manner which 
 had before a little aggravated Charley Simpkin. 
 
 ' Stop, Major ! ' said the latter, ' both you 
 and the rest of the company seem to have
 
 OUT or THE MESHES. 135 
 
 made one rather hasty assumption. You take 
 it for granted that I am one of the culprits.' 
 
 ' I think, Simpkin/ said Captain Ashleigh, 
 'that if you and your friends don't care about 
 your own commissions, you might think about 
 your brother-officers, and, above all, about the 
 Sepoys, who get a deal of extra work through 
 your folly.' 
 
 ' But, as I said before — ' 
 
 ' I acquit you of knowing all the harm 
 such acts may really be doing. You have not 
 been long -enough in the service to know how 
 bad an example you are setting to the Sepoys, 
 whose discipline is far from perfect as it is. 
 We have had the Scinde mutiny, the AfFghan 
 mutiny, the Punjab mutiny, each of which 
 only just failed to light up the whole army 
 into a flame. Suppose that the next spark 
 should be more successful.' 
 
 ' Stop, Ashleigh,' said the whimsical Major, 
 ' I think the bad example is now on your side. 
 The Sepoy army mutiny ! Begad, it is rank 
 mutiny to say so ! What says the great and 
 wise Governor- General ? '
 
 136 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' Well, Major, a very much longer head than 
 his thinks very differently, — Henry LaAvrence, 
 Avith Avhom I have the honour to correspond. 
 I think that a young officer should be made to 
 see in Avhat position he stands. No harm can 
 result from that if he really is a good fellow 
 at bottom. Munro said long ago that the 
 great danger to India would come from the 
 Government sapping the power of regimental 
 officers ; and now I ask you Avhat poAver has a 
 company officer, what power a colonel ? ' 
 
 ' Why, Ashleigh. Hey ! Is not this a 
 direct attack upon the Commander-in-chief? ' 
 
 'I ask you this. Major. Did not Seetul 
 Doobee of your company, after he Avas dis- 
 missed by court-martial, go up to Simla and 
 salam to the Commander-in-chief in person, 
 and Avas he not again restored merely on his 
 OAvn statement of his case and Avithout any 
 reference to the Colonel ? ' 
 
 ' Yes, that's true, but — ' 
 
 'And is there not a similar instance in 
 almost every regiment in the service ? ' 
 
 'Yes, but the Governor- General, AAdio, if
 
 OUT OF thp: meshes. 137 
 
 lie would only see merit in other people be- 
 sides the Scotch, is the wisest and most power- 
 ful ruler — ' 
 
 ' Has denuded the Bengal Presidency of 
 Enghsh soldiers to feed his annexations at its 
 extremities ; has shelved Henry Lawrence and 
 driven away Napier, two men immeasurably 
 his superiors ; has earned the hatred of the 
 powerful natives and of the army, which latter 
 he is going to put to further proof by annex- 
 ing Oude.' 
 
 ' I tell you what,' broke in Mr Simpkin, ' as 
 you two gentlemen are not quite of one mind 
 with regard to the lecture which is to be com- 
 posed for my edification, I'll leave you to fight 
 it out.' 
 
 There was a gravity in the Captain's man- 
 ner, and a rough force in what he said, that 
 made an impression on the young gentleman 
 in spite of himself. He thought over the con- 
 versation very often afterwards. 
 
 At mess that night Pulfington Belper was 
 radiant and elated. It was Monday night, 
 and for the first time the good order of the
 
 138 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 cantonments rested with him. Somebody 
 happened to grumble about the patrol-duty 
 ordered by the Brigadier. 
 
 ' Ah, it won't be for long now ! ' said the 
 Major, complacently. 'When the Brigadier 
 sees that it has all stopped, as it has now, he'll 
 take off the patrol, depend upon it ! ' At 
 eleven o'clock, when our friend buckled on his 
 sword to march off with the patrol, he re- 
 marked for the first time that Hodges and 
 Simpkin and one or two others had not dined 
 at mess. 
 
 'They're at the 33rd. There's a pubhc 
 night there. Take care of them. Major !' 
 
 'Nonsense !' and the Major left the mess. 
 
 The plan of operations adopted by the pre- 
 sent field-officer of the week was very simple. 
 He formed his body of Sepoys into column, 
 and marched up and down in front of the 
 Brigadier's gates with his entire forces. The 
 feeling that it was beneath his dignity to com- 
 mand a smaller body had much to do with 
 this arrangement. He walked on foot like- 
 wise. He remembered that he was a famous
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 139 
 
 pedestrian, and would not, I think, have been 
 sorry of an opportunity of showing his prowess 
 in that Hne. 
 
 For the first half-hour everything was 
 quite quiet. 
 
 ' I told you so ! ' said the Major to his 
 senior subaltern, Mr Walker of the 33rd. ' It's 
 a mere matter of form, hey !' 
 
 But as the Major uttered these words 
 he looked towards the gates, which his detach- 
 ment was again approaching, and thought he 
 saw two figures in white near them. He 
 took off and wiped his spectacles. Yes, there 
 sure enough were two vvdiite figures, and dull 
 sounds as of hammering likewise reached 
 him. There was no doubt upon the matter. 
 As he approached he saw with astonishment 
 and consternation two unknown forms dealing 
 vigorous blows to the sacred portals, and 
 oddly enough, they allowed him to approach 
 very close indeed before they seemed the 
 least affected by his presence. They then 
 suddenly darted away and ran leisurely along 
 the road a short distance a-head of him.
 
 140 OUT OF THE 31ESHES. 
 
 This was too much for the Major's 
 patience; The noted pedestrian and the re- 
 sponsible field-officer were both tried beyond 
 endurance. Confident in his powers, our old 
 friend at once started off in pursuit, and gave 
 to his detachment the command to ' double,' 
 and as he forgot all about the Sepoys the next 
 minute, and got a considerable way a-head, in 
 his eagerness to catch the saucy gate-lifters, 
 the appearance of his blown detachment trot- 
 ting along in great disorder soon presented a 
 very curious effect. Mr Walker, the senior 
 subaltern, had no orders to halt them, and so 
 felt compelled to keep doubling along. 
 
 The Major was running in his well-known 
 manner, but still he did not near the fugitives 
 very fast. He came near enough to perceive 
 that they wore white flowing garments like 
 natives, but was never able to get near enough 
 to learn more. They appeared good runners 
 too, else how could they baffle all the efforts 
 of so noted a pedestrian ? After a while the 
 Major began to find that racing in uniform 
 immediately after dinner is a trying exercise.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 141 
 
 He was forced to give in, and lie was some- 
 time before he was overtaken by his breathless 
 and disorganized detachment. He led it back 
 Hot over-well pleased with the result of the 
 pursuit. 
 
 When he reached the Brigadier's house 
 he was quite astonished at Avhat had occurred 
 in his absence. The massive brick gate-posts 
 Avere levelled, and the substantial gates had 
 entirely disappeared. The native orderly on 
 duty in the compound said that he was forci- 
 bly held by two Sahibs whilst eight other 
 Sahibs worked away Avith crow-bars and axes. 
 
 ' Who were they ? What were their 
 names?' inquired Major Pulfington Belper 
 with bustling energy. 
 
 ' I could not see ! Their faces were cover- 
 ed, and they were dressed like Ayahs ! ' 
 
 The poor Major Avas utterly discomfited, 
 but his consternation Avas, if anything, in- 
 creased on reaching his OAvn bungaloAV. In 
 the centre of the compound he saAV the 
 missing gates ; and a heap of his oavh muslin, 
 his crow-bars, his axes, his mallets were strcAvn
 
 14:2 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 around. I don't know if the sensitive 
 Major Pulfington Belper or the over-irascible 
 Brigadier felt the outrage the most deeply, 
 but I think that Brigade Major Balderson 
 reaped the greatest amount of practical incon- 
 venience from the event. The number of in- 
 sults, and bottles of ' sparkling Him.alayan 
 Burton/ which he was compelled to swallow 
 during the Brigadier's frenzy, very nearly 
 drove that most patient of men beyond the 
 bounds of endurance. 
 
 Poor Major Pulfington Belper's troubles 
 were by no means over. In a short time the 
 papers got hold of the matter. The Indian 
 press, like the provincial English press, is com- 
 pelled to open its columns to local gossip, in 
 the absence of topics of more serious interest. 
 It is a much-abused institution. All ranks 
 abuse it, and all write in it, from the Lieut. - 
 Governor, who explains the ins and outs of 
 his patronage squabble with the private se- 
 cretary, to the Ensign who throws into jing- 
 ling metre the sententious instructions of the 
 Commander-in-chief concerning his aide-de-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 143 
 
 camp's duty at tiffin. It was strongly sus- 
 pected that an Ensign was at the bottom of 
 the Major's new woes. One morning when 
 that field-officer rushed over to mess for a 
 cup of coffee, he found half Barrackpore 
 there assembled. 
 
 ' Here he is ! ' 
 
 ' Do you know if they've found the " cul- 
 prit " yet, Major ? ' 
 
 ' They say he's got a brazen face, Major.' 
 
 ' What a shame to hint such a thing of 
 our friend.' 
 
 ' I think the Major, on the contrary, has 
 got a very pleasing face.' 
 
 Such were the enigmatical remarks that 
 utterly bewildered our worthy friend, until 
 two newspaper articles were handed to him. 
 He thought the first the most atrocious and 
 abominable article he had ever seen ; that is, 
 until he read the second. 
 
 Article Xo. 1. (Erom the ' MoffusUite,') 
 
 THE BRIGADIER AND THE AYAHS. 
 
 ' The great military station of Barrack-
 
 144 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 pore has just been disturbed by an occurrence 
 of a very unusual character. An outbreak 
 has taken place within sixteen miles of the 
 seat of government of India. A number of 
 Ayahs rose up into open revolt last Monday, 
 and laid siege to the very gates of the officer 
 commanding the station. It is believed that 
 but for the prompt arrival of a large body of 
 troops, under the command of an alert officer, 
 Major Pulfington Belper, they would have 
 even succeeded in securing the person of the 
 Brigadier himself. 
 
 'Now we must confess all this is very 
 mysterious, and people are already indulging 
 in the wildest of speculations. They ask 
 what is the meaning of this ncAv '' Revolt of 
 the Harem ? " Upon an extensive survey of 
 the political horizon we reply that we cannot 
 think it means much. The Czar of Uussia 
 would scarcely select such agents for the fur- 
 therance of his insidious designs upon AfF- 
 ghanistan ; and what could the Shah of Persia 
 hope to gain by enlisting in his interest the 
 domestic servants of a few obscure English
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 145 
 
 ladies? The latter wily Asiatic might, it is 
 true, choose such a vehicle for satire on the 
 feebleness of our present rulers, were it not 
 notorious that the present Indian administra- 
 tion belongs almost exclusively to a nation- 
 ality much more famous for its appreciation 
 of the sweets of office than the delicacies of 
 subtle wit. The present Governor- General, 
 like Louis XL of France, has quite a supersti- 
 tion about surrounding his head with puppets 
 and manikins and his pers9n with Scotch- 
 men. 
 
 ' Also we think that it must be conceded 
 at once that misguided religious feeling had 
 nothing to do w^ith the fury of the female in- 
 surgents. The fair sex is the sex most prone 
 to religious frenzy in all countries, but the 
 class from which Ayahs are selected has never 
 been much noted for devotional enthusiasm. 
 On the whole, Ave are inclined to watch the 
 movement with attention, but we must wait 
 patiently for further indications before we can 
 hazard any opinions regarding its tendency 
 and object. Rebecca is an eastern lady, no 
 
 VOL. I. 10
 
 146 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 doubt, but the eastern Rebecca has never 
 been in the habit of smashing gates. 
 
 ' One feature, .perhaps the most significant 
 of all, remains yet to be touched on. The 
 Bengal subaltern has long been used to call 
 his Brigadier an "old woman!" Such a 
 phrase may no doubt mean that the officer in 
 question, though still possessed of many ami- 
 able qualities, has lost much of the physical 
 energy necessary to active military life. We 
 believe that the officer commanding the Bar- 
 rackpore Brigade is deservedly popular on 
 account of his gentle manners and conciliatory 
 disposition. But a very delicate question 
 suddenly suggests itself. We cannot cer- 
 tainly shut our eyes to the fact that the ani- 
 mosity of aged females is seldom directed 
 against one of a different sex. Again, we are 
 forced to bear in mind that jealoimj is 
 amongst the strongest of Asiatic evil passions. 
 The strange frenzy of these Indian females in- 
 creases in mystery and significance the more 
 it is looked into. It would be a funny result 
 if the wild acts of these crazy handmaidens
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 147 
 
 should throw unexpected light on the sex of 
 Barrackpore Brigadiers.' 
 
 Article No. 2. (From the ' Covenanted 
 Civilian!) 
 
 MORE PRACTICAL JOKING IN THE ARMY. 
 
 ' We had hoped that we had heard the 
 last of practical joking amongst grown-up 
 soldiers. To paint a brother cornet's nose as 
 he lies asleep, and to cut off the tail of his 
 horse, are acts which are thought to possess 
 very little humour even by school-boys. It 
 is fortunate that, on the whole, India has been 
 more exempt from these frivolous practices 
 than other portions of the British dominions. 
 On the other hand, in military cantonments in 
 Bengal practical joking has attained a mean- 
 ingless imbecility which defies rivalry. This 
 silly practice of pulling down gates, from 
 whatever cause it originated, is revived again 
 and again; and, when the act is committed 
 against an officer in command, it amounts 
 to a grave offence nearly akin to mutiny. An 
 army is an institution in which a due sub-
 
 148 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 ordination of parts is the keystone of the arch 
 which furnishes strength and cohesion to the 
 entire fabric. Take away the respect and 
 deference which soldiers owe their superiors 
 and a discipHned army becomes at once a 
 mere mob — in the words of Sir Charles Na- 
 pier, "dangerous to its friends and innocuous 
 to its enemies." 
 
 ' These remarks are called forth by some 
 practical joking which has recently occurred 
 at Barrackpore. Two nights ago some of- 
 ficers in the disguise of Ayahs destroyed the 
 gates of Brigadier Dewsnap, the command- 
 ant of the station. Now we think that this 
 offence is very heinous, and ought to be 
 visited with condign punishment. We cannot 
 but believe that there must be some inherent 
 vice in om' military system if the military 
 authorities fail to discover the authors of this 
 bold outrage. Offences of a similar gravity 
 never escape detection when subjected to the 
 scrutiny of our excellent Civil Administration. 
 The robber or the burglar who lifts his hands
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 149 
 
 at mid-night finds that the absence of direct 
 evidence goes a very Httle way to screen 
 him. Slowly and surely the irresistible 
 links of a chain of circumstantial evidence 
 circumvents and binds him fast. Now we 
 think such a chain might be forged in this 
 case, and we think it due to the community 
 that this should be done speedily. 
 
 ' Heavy brick gate-posts cannot be de- 
 stroyed without powerful implements, and no 
 one can have such in his possession without 
 the fact being known. Is it a fact, then, that 
 anybody had a collection of mallets and crow- 
 bars? Then, again, traces of the disguise 
 selected by the offenders might also, we think, 
 be easily discovered. So much muslin could 
 not have been purchased quite in secret. 
 Was any one known to possess any large 
 quantity of muslin before the outrage was 
 committed, or to have made any extensive 
 purchase of that article ? These are questions 
 which should be speedily solved. 
 
 ' Lastly, we do not hear that the missing
 
 150 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 gates have been discovered. This cidminating 
 evidence should be supphed without loss of 
 time. 
 
 ' Amongst people on the spot the finger of 
 suspicion must already point pretty clearly in 
 some direction. If all these considerations 
 are promptly attended to, we make no doubt 
 that the culprit cannot long escape detection, 
 under whatever disguise he may shield his^ 
 brazen face.'
 
 151 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 A SECRETARY OF STATE. 
 
 Mr Palmer Brown occupied a set of 
 chambers in the United Service Club. These 
 consisted of a large sitting-room, a large bed- 
 room, and a very comfortable bath-room. 
 The sitting-room commanded a fine view of 
 the Maidan and the river. 
 
 To-day is a native holiday, and Mr Palmer 
 Brown is seated in a very comfortable arm- 
 chair enjoying the ' Friend of India.' If you 
 observe, his position even in solitude is not 
 undignified. He does not place one leg over 
 the arm of his chair, and the other in the 
 middle of his writing table, or adopt any 
 other of the lazy attitudes of tired gentlemen 
 in a relaxing climate. Like all small, fat 
 gentlemen, Mr Palmer Brown is neat and
 
 152 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 prim. His dress is neat and prim. His 
 room is neatly arranged. A handsome book 
 is at each corner of the large table, and a 
 vase in the centre. Four engravings are on 
 the walls, one of the Governor- General, one of 
 Lord William Bentinck. Opposite each gen- 
 tleman is a lady, each Avith regular features 
 and insipid expression. These ladies have no 
 connection with Indian Governors- General, 
 but are fancy portraits which attracted Mr 
 Pahner Brown when hanging up in the show- 
 rooms of Messrs Wilson & Co. 
 
 Mr Palmer Brown's library is well select- 
 ed, and India by no means monopohzes it. 
 Amongst the volumes are several sentimental 
 poems and novels, Avhich Mr Palmer Brown 
 delights to lend to his lady friends. The 
 volumes are all handsomely bound. Like 
 Joseph Surface, Mr Palmer Brown is a ' cox- 
 comb in books.' 
 
 But this morning he is thoughtful, for, in 
 point of fact, he is in love. If any one think 
 that the Calcutta Secretary is incapable of 
 anything worthy of the name, he is mistaken.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 153 
 
 Once Mr Palmer Brown Avas wildly in love, 
 and tins love he now thinks he has again 
 revived for that lady's counterpart. Miss 
 Sophy Brabazon. But a man over forty, and 
 a man under tliirty, view matters of senti- 
 ment in a different light. He beheves he 
 loves the young lady, and would like nothing 
 better than to marry her ; but, then, what he 
 calls ' duty ' has now also to be considered. 
 He feels that he possesses great talents as a 
 ' diplomatist ' and a public man, and that 
 these were not given to him to be thrown 
 away. 
 
 Before Miss Brabazon's arrival, this is hoAv 
 matters stood. Mr Palmer Brown, who held 
 a subordinate position quite unworthy of his 
 talents, had fixed his eyes upon Emma, third 
 daughter of Mr Windus ; considering that 
 lady in two hghts, first as a desirable help- 
 mate, and, secondly, as a good stepping-stone 
 in his profession, through the interest of her 
 father. He played his cards so well with 
 the lady's parents, that in a short time 
 he was advanced to the coveted Secretariat,
 
 154 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 but his appointment was only an acting 
 appointment. I may mention that by way 
 of having two strings to his bow, he had 
 also flirted, though in a less marked manner, 
 with the Prettijohn interest, and with Miss 
 Wotherspoon. 
 
 But now that the brilliant Miss Sophy 
 Brabazon has completely eclipsed the charms 
 of Miss Wotherspoon and Miss Emma Windus, 
 the situation has become much more compli- 
 cated. It is to be observed (at least, such 
 is his impression), that Mr and Mrs Win- 
 dus expect that he will propose to one of 
 their daughters. Certainly, if Mr Palmer 
 Brown were to become en2:a2:ed to some other 
 lady, Mr Windus would probably find some 
 other candidate for the permanent Secretary's 
 appointment. To balance this, if Mr Liver- 
 sege became Resident at the Court of His 
 Highness the Nawaub of Nawaubgunge, he 
 would of course be able to nominate Mr 
 Palmer Brown Secretary to the Residency, 
 and the same remark applies to the rival 
 candidate, Mr AVotherspoon. And to say
 
 OUT or THE MESHES. 155 
 
 tlic truth, Mr Palmer Brown had always 
 fancied that his talents lay in the diplomatic, 
 or, in Indian phrase, the ' political ' line. In 
 Calcutta, advancement was slow and uncer- 
 tain, but the merits of a ' political ' are patent 
 to all the world, and it would go hard if he 
 then failed, with his great talents, to secure 
 the very highest advancement. Even Na- 
 waubgunge could not be held by Mr Liver- 
 sege very long, as he was already entitled to 
 his retiring pension. 
 
 Thus of all the Calcutta officials who have 
 been thrown into a state of fever by the va- 
 cancy at Nawaubgunge, Mr Palmer Brown's 
 situation is by far the most exciting. If the 
 Governor- General would only put an end to 
 this aggravating suspense, how dehghted he 
 would be. He is unable to consult his feel- 
 ings, and make great love to Miss Brabazon ; 
 he is unable to make great love to Miss 
 Wotherspoon ; also, he feels how perilous it 
 is either to dally too long with the Windus 
 family, or to throw them over too soon. All 
 that he can settle this morning in his easy-
 
 156 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 chair is this, that his situation has become 
 so very dehcate, that it requires diplomatic 
 tact of the very first order to get completely 
 master of it. 
 
 A black servant dressed in Mr Palmer 
 Brown's livery, announces WuUeen SaJiih and 
 Chuffin Chaffeen Sahih. Into these forms had 
 the names of Messrs ChifFney Chaffney and 
 Welter been already modified by the natives. 
 
 Now Mr Palmer Brown hated Mr ChifF- 
 ney Chaffiiey, who was possessed of an effront- 
 ery and a ready wit, which were sometimes 
 most obnoxious to the dignity of the great 
 man when he visited the Club. He thought 
 he should hke an opportunity of giving the 
 young man a good setting down. 
 
 ' Take a seat, gentlemen ! ' he blandly 
 said when they entered, adopting something 
 of the manner of the Principal of Haileybury 
 trying to be kind to two very young collegians. 
 And after a few commonplaces on the weather, 
 he seemed resolved that the conversation 
 should be purely catechetical, and asked them
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 157 
 
 many questions about their studies in a pa- 
 tronizing manner. 
 
 Mr Chiffney Chaffney answered all these 
 questions very good-humouredly, and very 
 frankly. He was a young gentleman who 
 was always very frank and never abashed. 
 
 ' And when do you think that you shall 
 take up law? I hope you are diligently 
 studying law, Mr Chiffney Chaffney.' 
 
 ' I can't say I am, Mr Palmer Brown, just 
 at present. I'm waiting till the Covenanted 
 Handicap is run.' 
 
 ' The Covenanted Handicap ! Dear me ! 
 You see, I know so little of races ; and, be- 
 tween you and me, I'd recommend you gentle- 
 men to know as little. Government House 
 does not approve of them. But I thought 
 the Calcutta races were over.' 
 
 The two gentlemen burst out into a 
 hearty laugh, or rather a school-boy giggle, 
 which they tried to suppress. 
 
 ' Mr Chiffney Chaffney means the "Elegant 
 Entangler ! " ' explained Mr Welter.
 
 158 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 The '' Elegant Entangler !" ' 
 
 ' Yes, old Pulfington Belper — I mean 
 Major Pulfington Belper — has given that 
 name to Miss Sophy Brabazon. She's the 
 Covenanted Handicap ! ' 
 
 ' Yes, the odds are, — Three to one on the 
 bay thoroughbred ChifFney Chaffney. Two 
 hundred to one against the brown cart-horse 
 Welter, much out of condition (taken freely).' 
 
 ' Oh, indeed ! ' said Mr Palmer Brown, 
 with a marked sense of injured dignity. He 
 by no means relished the turn the convers- 
 ation had taken. It was difficult to draw the 
 line at which the conversation of inferiors 
 in the presence of their superiors became 
 decidedly unbecoming and familiar, but he 
 thought that line reached when a Calcutta 
 Secretary, however inferentially, was de- 
 scribed as a horse entered for a race, and 
 competing with brown cart-horses for an 
 'Elegant Entangler.' 
 
 ' I'll tell you what, gentlemen,' he said 
 very curtly and gravely, 'you had better 
 take my advice, and think only of your
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 159 
 
 studies just now. You can think of mar- 
 riage and such thhigs by-and-by.' 
 
 ' Yes, but the Calcutta matrons won't let 
 us. The plans they have laid to entrap my 
 esteemed and fat friend here, for instance, 
 have been sometlnng marvellous.' 
 
 Fat friend ! The rotund official opened 
 his eyes wide with astonishment. Such 
 words even about another, in his presence, 
 were indeed worthy of wonder. 
 
 The native servant here came in and 
 announced that a native of rank wished to 
 visit Mr Palmer Brown, and presently in 
 walked Fuzl Ali, the Head Vakeel of His 
 Highness the Nawaub of Nawaubgunge. Mr 
 Palmer Brown was delighted. He did not 
 know how to get rid of his young brother- 
 civilians whose visit was becoming embarrass- 
 ing. 
 
 The native of rank made a profound and 
 graceful obeisance to Mr Palmer Brown, an- 
 other to Mr Welter, and another to Mr Chiff- 
 ney ChaiFney, which that gentleman returned 
 by a burlesque act of imitation.
 
 160 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' What Judge Sahib is this ? ' said the 
 native, indicating Mr Welter with marked 
 respect. Mr AVelter's whiskers were beyond 
 his years, and natives always associate high- 
 rank and fat. 
 
 Mr Palmer Brown now began to talk 
 Hindustanee very rapidly, taking care to em- 
 ploy as many high-flown Persian words as he 
 could well bring in, knowing that the civilians 
 would be puzzled at any rate by them. He 
 thought that a few minutes of such conversa- 
 tion would tire them out, and that they would 
 then go away. In this he Avas quite mistaken, 
 for chancing to look in their direction he 
 found they had pulled out their betting-books 
 and were diligently entering a small wager. 
 Mr Chiffhey Chaffiiey had bet five gold 
 mohurs that the stranger was a Scinde Emir, 
 and so they had determined to sit out the visit 
 of the native gentleman to decide the bet. 
 
 The subject of the conversation between 
 the Secretary and the Vakeel was this. The 
 native reminded Mr Palmer Brown that he 
 had seen him in former times at Nawaubgunge.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 161 
 
 lie explained that lie had been sent up on a 
 special mission by His Highness the Nawaub, 
 about a disputed Jaghire, the Jaghire of 
 Jamnugger. Euzl Ali stated that the Nawaub 
 had heard of the urbanity, talent, influence, 
 compassion, and religious zeal of Mr Palmer 
 Brown, and begged him to persuade the 
 Governor- General, and the Company Bahador, 
 and the Badshamdi on the throne of England, 
 to remedy the grievance complained of by 
 the Nawaub. Every native of India has a 
 grievance, and this question of the Jaghire of 
 Jamnugger was the especial grievance of His 
 Highness the Nawaub of Nawaubgunge. 
 
 Mr Palmer Brown in reply displayed a 
 great deal of that compassion and urbanity 
 for which he was so noted at the Nawaub's 
 Court. He said the Government were bestow- 
 ing every attention to the Nawaub's claim, 
 and that His Highness might rely upon the 
 question being treated in the most liberal 
 spirit, that the Government of India had for 
 its chief object the happiness, contentment, 
 and prosperity of the natives of India, and 
 
 VOL. I. 11
 
 162 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ruled India entirely in the interest of the 
 Indians. Mr Palmer Brown, I may remark, 
 had never before heard of the existence of this 
 particular Jaghire, but was he not now as- 
 sured of the fact by competent authority ! So 
 as the mouth-piece of Government he felt him- 
 self quite justified in saying that they would 
 settle the question with all liberality. 
 
 ' I am sorry to have neglected you two 
 gentlemen ! ' said Mr Palmer Brown, very 
 ungraciously apologizing. ' This is a native of 
 rank come up to Calcutta upon a matter of 
 the highest importance. I was obliged to 
 talk Hindustanee, and if you had been as 
 steady at your studies as you ought to have 
 been, you would have understood what we 
 said. He does not understand English ! ' 
 
 Here the native chimed in, in a way 
 that did not quite please the Calcutta Secre- 
 tarv. 
 
 ' Oh yes, Hazoor ! I do know Enghsh 
 quite thoroughly well, your respectful Worship. 
 I did learn it in by-gone years with the Sahih 
 Locjnr! Mr Palmer Brown was not aware
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 1G3 
 
 that Fuzl AH was once a clerk in a Kutcheny 
 at Xawaubgunge. 
 
 Mr CliifFney Chaffney now began to con- 
 verse with the native with much easy fa- 
 miharity, too much, in the opinion of Mr 
 Pahuer Brown. Amongst other questions, he 
 asked him if he had yet dined with the Go- 
 vernor-General. 
 
 ' Oh, no. Sahib, we native black men never 
 liave the great honour of dining with European 
 gentlemen Sahibs. Your most obedient servant 
 is Mussulman, black man, and does not eat 
 the Soor, the dirty beast pig.' 
 
 ' The dirty beast pig ! ' said Mr Welter. 
 
 'Yes,' and the native called Mr Welter 
 something which sounded like ' Garrihim- 
 deniiuaj' 
 
 ' Bet you five gold mohurs ! ' whispered 
 Mr Chiffney Chaffney, ' you don't know what 
 ' Garrihundenuvaj ! means.' 
 
 ' I dare say you will ! ' whispered Mr 
 AVelter. ' I don't mind saying the same to 
 yon ! ' 
 
 ' Done ! '
 
 164 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' Done I ' 
 
 ' We'll appeal to the Emir Sahib ! ' Mr 
 ChifFney ChafFney, for want of a better name, 
 had all along called him the ' Emir Sahib.' 
 And now he asked him if ga7Ti was not a cor- 
 ruption of gliUTih (hmnble), Nuuaj (Nawaub), 
 and if ' hunder ' had not two meanings, ' slaves ' 
 and ' monkeys.' 
 
 ' In your case/ resumed Mr ChifFney 
 ChafFney to his friend, 'it meant that you 
 were the Nawaub of humble monkeys, the 
 prince of baboons, the king of the jackanapes ; 
 you owe me five gold mohurs ; ain't I right, 
 Emir Sahib ? ' 
 
 ' No, Sahib, we black men are not monkeys, 
 we are only slaves. The Company Bahador 
 is our protector and ruler, and all honours 
 and power are in the hands of you English 
 Sahibs.' 
 
 'Gad!' said Mr ChifFney Chaffney, 'I 
 wish they were. All honours and power are 
 in the hands of the Scotch Sahibs, Emir 
 Bahador ! ' 
 
 The native shortly went his way. He
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 165 
 
 had made use of many phrases needlessly 
 humble for a native of his rank. If 
 
 ' Praise undeserved is satire in disguise,' 
 
 then many Asiatics must be great satirists. 
 Indeed there is much more fine irony amongst 
 them than many simple Englishmen think. 
 
 Mr Palmer Brown now broke out, human 
 nature could restrain itself no longer. 
 
 ' Look here, you two gentlemen are in my 
 house privately, not oificially, and so I make 
 every allowance, but I must give you both 
 one piece of advice. If you want to get on 
 in India. you must pay more respect to your 
 seniors, and more deference to the established 
 authorities. If you were to carry your school- 
 boy manners into the house of any other 
 secretaries you would find it a difierent thing. 
 You would indeed ! Mind, I say all this for 
 your good, you must not insult natives of 
 rank, you must not echo the jeers of ensigns 
 Avho are too, stupid to obtain staff-advance- 
 ment, you must never again, in the presence 
 of a Government official, speak words in dis-
 
 166 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 paragement of the mode in which the Go- 
 vernor-General is pleased to exercise his 
 patronage, or I shall have to take notice of it. 
 I don't believe that you seriously intended to 
 exhibit any unprofessional disrespect. I am 
 sorry I cannot devote to you any more of 
 my time this morning, as Mr Liversege has 
 just sent up his card, and is coming to see 
 me on a matter of business. Good morn- 
 ing ! ' 
 
 And Mr Palmer Brown flattered himself 
 that he had delivered a very temperate but 
 very effective rebuke to Mr Chiffney Chaffney, 
 which the latter would not easily forget. 
 Mr Chiftney Chaffney did remember it, as we 
 shall show, on a future occasion. 
 
 The Calcutta Secretary Avas very cordial 
 and very civil to Mr Liversege, but there was 
 some little embarrassment between them. 
 Besides being flurried by the recent scene, 
 Mr Palmer Brown, owing to the hesitation in 
 Government-house on the matter of Nawaub- 
 gunge, hardly knows in what key to address 
 the uncle of Miss Sophy Brabazon. That
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 167 
 
 uncle, on the other hand, has come to ^dsit 
 him, much against his own judgment and 
 very much against his own will He feels it 
 is hardly becoming in an old man to pay court, 
 as it were, to one much his junior, especially 
 at a time when he has been made a candidate 
 for a high office. Besides, he does not beheve 
 in Mr Palmer Brown so firmly as Mrs Livers ege 
 does ; in fact, that gentleman's enthusiasts are 
 chiefly amongst the fair sex. Mr Liversege 
 hardly likes the idea of the marriage which 
 he sees his wife is scheming to bring about. 
 Beserved men if they see things more tardily 
 often see them more clearly than other people, 
 and the Sudder-judge, in summing up, is 
 forced to take into consideration previous 
 character, and to recollect certain scandals in 
 by-gone days regarding Mr Palmer Brown's 
 treatment of his first wife. Besides, he has 
 now become much attached to his niece, and 
 shows his fondness in his own quaint way. 
 He has not, it is true, been able to find any 
 topic much more amusing to her than the 
 measures of Government for the suppression
 
 168 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 of the rite of Suttee, but his good feeUng 
 makes up for his want of practice in small 
 talk. Nevertheless if Mr Liversege has pri- 
 vate fancies he is now a married man, and 
 these must give way to those of another. 
 In a word, the weak and well-meaning Sud- 
 der-judge has no peace to-day until he has 
 started off for the United Service Club in his 
 Ofhce-Brougham, a vehicle with two roofs, 
 of a type not unusual in Calcutta. 
 
 ' No more intelligence received, I suppose, 
 in reference to the vacant Residency at Na- 
 waubgunge ! ' said Mr Liversege somewhat 
 curtly. When a man has something to say 
 which he does not wish to say, the best way 
 is of course to say it at once. 
 
 ' Little as yet, I may say nothing as yet ! ' 
 And Mr Palmer Brown nodded his head very 
 mysteriously. If Bonaparte formed himself 
 upon Cromwell, the Calcutta Statesman had 
 evidently taken for his model the famous Lord 
 Burleigh. 
 
 * You know Mrs Liversege is very anxious 
 for information, of course we all are.'
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 109 
 
 ' Naturally so. How is Miss Sopliy Bra- 
 bazon ? ' 
 
 ' Miss Sophy Brabazon is quite well/ said 
 Mr Liversege. 
 
 And the conversation hung fire a little. 
 Mr Liversege is, as we all know, a taciturn man 
 by nature, and to-day he is in a false position. 
 As soon as he could conveniently manage it, 
 he rose to go away. A moment or two before, 
 a note had been handed to Mr Palmer Brown. 
 
 ' Are you going already, Mr Liversege ? 
 Good morning ! It is a pleasant day, and the 
 cold weather this year has been more agreeable 
 than usual. Those are sad freaks of those 
 young officers at Barrackpore. I fear the dis- 
 cipline of the army is not quite what it should 
 be. Well, perhaps I may as well tell it you — 
 you can understand that — we — are obhged to 
 use a little caution. If you promise, Mr Liver- 
 sege, to be very careful not to compromise 
 me in any way, I will tell you a secret, which 
 at first I thought I ought to hold from you. 
 Government - house has pronounced very 
 strongly against Mr Wotherspoon. That case
 
 170 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 of the opium GumasMas at Budge-Budge lias 
 done for him. In fact, it's all up with the 
 Prettijohn interest in tJiis affair ! ' 
 
 ' Indeed ! ' said Mr Liversege with a little 
 astonishment. He had not given Z\Ir Palmer 
 Brown credit for so much information. 
 
 ' Fact ! And so the Windus interest may 
 win after all, may it not ? I hope the next 
 time I see you to be able to congratulate the 
 new Resident of Nawaubgunge, Mr Liversege. 
 Good morning ! ' 
 
 We need not say that ]\Ir Palmer Brown 
 was not aware of all this at an earlier part of the 
 day. That information had just been sent to 
 him, in the innocence of her heart, by Mrs 
 Windus. The skill with which he is, conduct- 
 ing his affairs is not unworthy of praise. You 
 know that under certain conditions he intends 
 to marry Miss Emma Windus, so of course he 
 is justified in making use of that young lady's 
 mamma, at any rate until new conditions 
 render that marriage impossible. So he has 
 extorted a promise from Mrs Windus that 
 when she hears anvthins; about Nawaubo-uniye
 
 . OUT OF THE MESHES. 171 
 
 she will let him know, and has further skil- 
 fully secured her partisanship by hinting that 
 Government-house is really in favour of the 
 Prettijohn champion. 
 
 ' You know, Mrs Windus,' he said to her 
 one day in his most agreeable manner, ' a poor 
 secretary is like one of these new competition 
 civilians that are coming out to us. He is 
 expected to know everything ! And a man 
 to keep up his importance must show that he 
 is behind the scenes now and then.' 
 
 But if Mr Palmer Brown had told Mr 
 Liversege in a plain matter-of-fact way that 
 he had received the great new^s in a note 
 whilst the two were conversing together, you 
 see at once that the Calcutta Secretary would 
 have thrown away an opportunity of effecting 
 two important strokes of business. In the 
 first place, he could not have impressed Mr 
 Liversege with the vast amount of his private 
 information and powers of keeping a secret. 
 And, secondly, he would not have conferred 
 the same obligation upon the uncle of his 
 future wife. Por Me Palmer Brown now con-
 
 173 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 siders his marriage a settled affair, and has 
 already determined to propose to Miss Sophy 
 at a picnic, which is to be given by Mrs Liver- 
 sege at the Botanical Gardens. 
 
 ' Aha, I have yom^ secret now.' (You see 
 the stage scene -shifters have been at work.) 
 ' And so you really love him ! ' 
 
 ' Dearest, you are so hasty. You know I 
 scarcely know Mr Charles Simpkin ! ' 
 
 ' That is the very reason, love, why you 
 should love him. When you know them very 
 well you soon cease to love them. The males 
 on this planet are a bad lot ! Trust me ! ' 
 
 ' My dear, love is not a hght thing.' 
 
 ' Yes, but I caught you copying out " The 
 Holy River," and just now you confessed.' 
 The copyist w^as Miss Motee, and the speaker 
 Miss Sophy. 
 
 ' Dearest, I said more than I ought — more 
 than I meant. Really, you know I have 
 scarcely seen Mr Charles Simpkin half-a-dozen 
 times, and am not likely to see him again.' 
 
 ' Oh yes, you are, at the Botanical picnic.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 173 
 
 I'll order him to be very attentive to yoii. I've 
 all the match-making instincts of our dear sex, 
 strongly developed already.' 
 
 ' AVhat a little chatterbox you are.' 
 And Motee was silent and a little pensive. 
 The offer of Sophy v^^as a trifle patronizing 
 perhaps, but she thought not of that. Was 
 she pondering over the hard reflection that 
 handsome lovers were not for her ? This 
 young maiden is by no means bad-looking. 
 Her features are even more regular than Miss 
 Sophy's. She is shorter than that young lady 
 and plumper, and has tinier feet. Her eyes — 
 (ye were blind to them, O ye Anglo-Indians, 
 as ye always are to eyes !) — were very large, 
 and expressed as much love as the most 
 limpid, calm peepers could express ; sub- 
 dued, sweet, amiable, imperturbable, habit- 
 ually, but capable of flashing with great fire 
 at times. She has imagination and fancy, 
 sound sense, and much shrewdness. She is self- 
 sacrificing, and her disposition is sweetness it- 
 self. But she knows that the slight broAvn 
 tint in her clear transparent skin, though a
 
 174 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 beauty to a great painter, is a fatal blemish in 
 India. It betrays that her blood is not with- 
 out a certain mixture of that of Eastern races ; 
 and perhaps it is this that makes her pen- 
 sive just now. 
 
 ' Didn't I manage that cleverly ? We 
 wanted a party that was at once large and 
 amusing, and your mamma is afraid of a ball. 
 The picnic will be much more fun, won't it? You 
 must enjoy yourself, I don't know how much ! 
 You shall wear your new Dacca mushn with 
 the tiny blue spots, and I shall wear the lav- 
 ender barege I bought at the " Hall of all 
 Nations " last Tuesday. It shall be done up 
 in blue — no, in mauve — no, it shall be positively 
 trimmed in blue.' And Sophy was pensive 
 in her turn. 
 
 ' It cannot signify which, my love. You 
 will be thought to look equally well in 
 either.' 
 
 ' It signifies much — an immensity,' said 
 Sophy, quickly, ' but I can't tell you all now. 
 It may signify everything in the world ; but 
 you're a little child.'
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 175 
 
 Sophy always seemed to take it for grant- 
 ed when speaking to her friend that there was 
 a full-grown intellect in the presence of that 
 of a child. Perhaps there was. 
 
 ' Yes,' she continued, after a short pause, 
 'positively, I shall be trimmed with blue — 
 sky blue.' 
 
 ' Perhaps that will be the best,' said 
 Motee vaguely. 
 
 ' What can you know about it, my little 
 innocent ! Tell me why do you love Charley 
 Simpkin ? ' 
 
 ' There you are again. I tell you, dearest, 
 you assume a great deal too much. What a 
 question ! I suppose when a person does love 
 they know they do, but they can't well give a 
 reason for it.' 
 
 ' How we blush, dear ! I think they should 
 give a reason for it. I've a good mind to 
 make half a revelation to you — only half a one 
 • — half a mystery, half a secret. I shall pay 
 you off for your reserve towards me.' 
 
 ' My dear—' 
 
 ' Oh, I wish some one would advise me.
 
 176 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 Not that I want advice. If a person likes 
 another — loves them — they ought not to sac- 
 rifice their taste to the opinion of any one — 
 they ought not to be guided by any one, I 
 think.' 
 
 ' Dearest, I think they can't be ; in one 
 sense our feelings and sympathies are beyond 
 our control, but then of course, in another 
 sense, we must defer to those who have the 
 right—' 
 
 ' My pet, you are so delightfully didactic ! ' 
 then, after a pause, she resumed with sudden 
 warmth, ' I won't be dictated to ! ' 
 
 ' What do you mean, my dear?' 
 
 ' I will talk to you on a subject which is 
 rather a delicate one ! Dearest, I have every 
 reason to believe that my cousin Ada did not 
 make Mr Palmer Brown a very good wife. 
 There is a mystery, a reserve, Avhenever I 
 approach the subject, but I am not to be de- 
 ceived. Well, dear, if another of the family 
 thinks that some atonement should be made to 
 him — that the love he should have had from 
 one shall at any rate be given to him by
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 177 
 
 another, — I think such motives ought not to 
 be misunderstood.' 
 
 ' Of course not, dear/ 
 
 ' I don't speak of vulgar Indian tittle- 
 tattle. My aunt is always talking of the 
 splendid prospects of the wife of so rising a 
 man as Mr Palmer Brown, so I know very 
 w^ell what the gossips will say. The fuss they 
 make about funny privileges and rank out 
 here is delightful, and it is still more delight- 
 ful to have one's motives so thoroughly mis- 
 understood, is it not ? That alone makes the 
 idea of a marriage fifty times more attractive.' 
 
 ' Yes, love, but is that of itself a sufficient 
 motive for marriage?' said Motee, and the 
 question was a pregnant one. 
 
 ' You are as bad as all the rest, and so is 
 Mrs Vesey. She too has joined against me.' 
 
 ' What does Mrs Vesey say on the subject? 
 I am sure her advice wdll be good.' 
 
 ' She does not say anything, that is what 
 teases me. I can't help seeing that she is 
 dead against any idea of the sort. You re- 
 member when Major Pulfington Belper spread 
 
 VOL. I. 12
 
 178 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 that foolish report, Mrs Vesej seemed so re- 
 lieved when she found it was untrue. But 
 when I asked her point blank if she knew 
 anything against Mr Palmer Brown, she hesi- 
 tated a great deal, and at last w^as compelled 
 to admit that it w^as not in her power to make 
 any grave charge against him.' 
 
 ' Not in her power, — what did she mean 
 by that ? ' 
 
 ' I suppose that she would if she knew 
 anything ; what else could she mean ? ' 
 
 * But she is so kind-hearted.' 
 
 ' Yes, she is, but because people are kind- 
 hearted that's no reason they should dictate 
 to others in the most serious matters. She 
 has a prejudice against Mr Palmer Brown, 
 who is a genuine man, hard-working, sterhng, 
 practical, useful. I don't see why Mrs Vesey 
 should misunderstand him. More than that, 
 I will not be dictated to — of that I am quite 
 determined ! ' 
 
 Two days after this conversation the fol- 
 lowing letter was sent off from Calcutta.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 179 
 
 MISS SOPHY BEABAZOJf TO MISS DOEA STATDLEIGH, 
 BUDLEIGH SALTEETON, DEVON. 
 
 • Per after Packet. 
 
 ' CJiowringhee, Dec. 24<th, 185 — . 
 
 ' Deakest Dormouse, — 
 
 ' This mail I have something very 
 important to consult you about. What a 
 silly word " consult/' when one's dear delight- 
 ful counsellor is hundreds and hundreds of 
 miles away. When your answer comes back 
 it will be three months too late, it may be, 
 for perhaps I am on the brink of a most im- 
 portant step ! I will tell you exactly what 
 has occurred. Three days ago my aunt, who 
 is now so kind and whom I have much under- 
 valued, took me off to the millinery depart- 
 ment of Messrs Wilson's ^'Hall of all Na- 
 tions," for these good people sell bonnets and 
 stuff for dresses (really nice), gentlemen's 
 hats and great-coats, confectionery, jewelry, 
 furniture, and everything else under the sun, 
 all in the same shop. My aunt has settled to
 
 180 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 have a grand picnic at the Botanical Gardens, 
 a lovely spot a few miles down the Hooghly, 
 and there can be no picnics in frightful old 
 dresses, and so we went off to buy a new one. 
 In the '' Hall of all Nations " there happened 
 to be two gentlemen who came up directly they 
 saw me and my aunt. One was a fashionable 
 officer in the Governor- General's Body Guard 
 (which position is much prized out here). 
 Captain Spink is not bad-looking, and 
 is thought a great deal of by some of the 
 young ladies. His dress is perfection ; he and 
 a Captain Lemesurier are thought the two 
 best-drest men in Calcutta. Turthermore he 
 does me a certain marked and distinguished 
 honour, as you shall hear; but after all, you 
 and I, dearest Dormouse, think of other qual- 
 ities than those of a well-drest fashionable of- 
 ficer. The other you have already been told 
 about. It was Mr Palmer Brown, who is 
 considered the man in Calcutta. Governor- 
 Generals are appointed by home interest, and 
 Lieutenant-Governors because they are old; so 
 you must not judge public men by present
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 181 
 
 actual rank. Well, to my story : there was 
 one dress of all others which was the dress for 
 the picnic, a lavender bar eg e. All four of us 
 settled that, but when it came to a question of 
 trimmings there was a difference of opinion be- 
 tween the civil and military authorities ; such 
 differences, love, are common in India. The 
 civil authorities were for a trimming of sky-blue 
 (which, cjitre nous, I consider a mistake, and 
 must have it very narrow in that colour, if I 
 have it at all), the military were for mauve. I 
 bought both colours, not to show too marked a 
 preference, but Mr Palmer Brown, when he got 
 an opportunity of saying a word to me alone, 
 — and this 1 thought my aunt seemed rather 
 anxious to furnish him with, for she asked the 
 Body Guard Captain to give her his arm, and 
 carried him off to show her a very handsome 
 bracelet which he had unadvisedly extolled 
 five minutes before ; — when Mr Palmer Brown 
 got me a little apart from the rest he said to 
 me in an unusually marked manner, " I hope, 
 Miss Brabazon, you will come to the picnic 
 with my colours, I shall wear yours, in that
 
 182 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 case. Do come, and then I shall know that 
 jou are not deserting our service. I am 
 more serious and more interested in the mat- 
 ter than you perhaps think." I think the 
 Captain must have heard this, for he found an 
 opportunity of saying ahnost the very same 
 thing to me, and pleaded of course in the 
 Body Guard interest, which was very rude of 
 him, was it not ? — he has a bad manner even 
 when most tender. It seemed as if he said, 
 " This sort of thing has gone on long enough, 
 and you must decide ! '' Cool, because I have 
 not taken him up much; I have a little. 
 Coquetry is now my profession, so it is no use 
 your sending me out any lectures upon the sub- 
 ject. T shall not be sorry if he does march off. 
 Oddly enough out here in the best circles the 
 military are not thought much of by young 
 ladies. There is a Captain and Mrs Langton 
 of Charley Simpkin's regiment. They called 
 on my aunt last week, and I asked her to get 
 them to stop tiffin, as they were very kind to 
 me at Barrackpore. She is really ladylike, 
 and I like her very much. Several other
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 188 
 
 great people were there, and they were not 
 only neglectful but positively rude to the lady. 
 I was quite sorry to see it, as these distinctions 
 are quite wrong. 
 
 'Well, dearest, you see I have to decide 
 upon the mauve and the sJcy-hlue, and it is 
 really a grave question, for both are thoroughly 
 in earnest. I think I must settle upon sJcy- 
 hlue ; people here are so detracting, that even 
 Mrs Vesey refuses to see the full merits of a 
 man whose character seems simple enough, 
 with many of its chief excellencies quite on 
 the surface. The key-note of his character is 
 truth; he is soHd, mascuhne, clever, hard- 
 working, and determined to succeed. I think 
 him handsome, though many people might 
 not do so. He is one of those sturdy genuine 
 characters in which some of the hest novelists 
 of the day now detect the true heroic. 
 
 " Such were a man for whom a woman's heart 
 Should beat with conscious truth while he exists, 
 And break when he expires." 
 
 'Ah, dearest, it is a sad thought that
 
 184 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 people in this world are so depreciated and so 
 misunderstood. 
 
 ' Yours, &c: 
 
 In her letter as in her conversation Miss 
 Sophy at the present moment seems strangely 
 argumentative and eager for a reason for the 
 love that is in her. 
 
 Is she finding her idol an unsightly image 
 at best, which no amount of gilding can 
 render more than a dull, cold, clumsy lump of 
 clay — and which moreover is very much ' too 
 large in the waist ? '
 
 185 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 THE MOUSETRAP. 
 
 To-night there is a ' public night ' at the 
 mess of the 44th Nowgong Native Infantry. 
 A ' pubHc night ' is a night on which guests 
 are invited, and the dinner is on a grander 
 scale than on ordinary nights. The regi- 
 mental plate is laid out, and the band plays 
 after the cloth has been removed. To-night 
 the preparations are on a very grand scale 
 indeed, as Major Pulfington Belper has taken 
 it into his head to invite a large number of 
 guests. He has sent an invitation to Mr 
 Palmer Brov^^n, but that gentleman is unfor- 
 tunately engaged. Unable to obtain so dis- 
 tinguished a leader to his little circle of 
 guests, he has done the next best thing, and 
 obtained a Captain of the Body Guard, and an 
 A. D. C. to the Governor- General, a com-
 
 186 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 bination of importance which ahuost rivals 
 that of a civilian in the Secretariat. Five 
 young civilians have accepted his polite invit- 
 ation, Messrs Helter, Pelter, Welter, Skelter, 
 and Mr Chiffney Chaffney. The Military 
 leaders of Calcutta fashion are not aware, it 
 is true, that they are to be brought into such 
 close contact with the leaders of Civil fashion, 
 and Major Pulfington Belper in offering his 
 hospitality to Captains Lemesurier and Spink 
 is under an impression that he has done 
 something highly gratifying to those two 
 persons of consideration. He does not attach 
 weight to the little unpleasantness which oc- 
 curred between the two parties. 
 
 ' Ha ! aw ! I believe I am going to dine 
 with the Dars I ' said Captain Lemesurier to 
 his faithful friend. 
 
 ' The Dars ! I don't understand you. I 
 thought you had accepted the invitation of 
 that foohsh old Major Pulfington Belper.' 
 
 ' So I have, my dear fellow, and I'm going 
 to dine with the Dars ! ' 
 
 ' I am quite in the dark as to your mean-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 187 
 
 ing, Leraesurier ! ' said Captain Spink, curtly. 
 People in love are generally irritable. 
 
 'Why, I'm going to dine with what 
 Guifaw of ours always calls the Bars ! The 
 Havildars, Jemadars, Soobahdars — that sort 
 of thing. Native officers, my dear fellow ! ' 
 Captain Lemesurier, like the great Mr Dundas, 
 was in the habit of drawing upon his memory 
 for his wit. 
 
 ' I have again to remind you. Captain Le- 
 mesurier, that the Governor- General's Body 
 Guard is composed entirely of native troops, 
 and though you may be pleased to look down 
 on the officers commanding the native troops 
 of the Company, still to say such things in 
 the presence of one of their officers is not 
 civil. Besides, you are perhaps not aware 
 that the Body Guard take the right of the 
 line, and the pas of any Dragoon regiment 
 in the English army.' 
 
 ' My dear fellow, you always bweak out. 
 I had entirely forgotten the circumstance to 
 which you allude ! ' It is true that Captain 
 Lemesurier had been reminded of the cir-
 
 188 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 curastance, on an average, about ten times a 
 week for the last two months, but perhaps 
 on some points his memory was defective. 
 
 ' Well, I'm sure I tell you often enough ! ' 
 said Captain Spink with some simplicity. 
 
 * Besides, my dear fellow, cavalry and in- 
 fantry are two different things ; I'm alluding 
 to the " N. I's." ' 
 
 Another point of debate had recently 
 arisen between Captain Damon and Captain 
 Pythias — the insubordinate conduct of the 
 Barrackpore subalterns. For four days Cap- 
 tain Damon had used this text to preach 
 upon the want of discipline of the officers 
 of the Company. On the fifth day it was 
 whispered about that the officers of the 42nd 
 Loyal Lincoln Greens in the fort, had carried 
 home their Major at three in the morning 
 in correct funeral procession, with the band 
 playing the 'Dead March.' This stopped 
 Captain Damon's sermons for some Httle 
 time. 
 
 Charley Simpkin has also some friends 
 coming to dine with him. He and Ensigns
 
 OUT OF THE MISHES. 189 
 
 Short, Sharp, Hodges, and Griffinhoof, have 
 been much together for the last two days. 
 And this morning they have been detected 
 whispering in corners more than once. A 
 similar phenomenon was observed on the day 
 when the Brigadier's strong portals were de- 
 molished. 
 
 That event has well nigh ' blown over,' as 
 far as the Brigadier is concerned. The word 
 ' furious ' hardly describes the state of deton- 
 ating, red-hot, apoplectic anger into which 
 Brigadier Dewsnap was plunged for several 
 days after that event. He stormed, he swore, 
 he threatened to bring all the Colonels of 
 regiments to court-martial, and to do a num- 
 ber of other things equally wild. His faith- 
 ful Brigade Major during all this time was 
 constantly watching over him. He soothed, 
 he comforted, he drank his ' sparkling Hima- 
 layan Burton,' he skipped about with large 
 General Order-Books, and was ever ready 
 with chapter and verse to show the technical 
 difficulties of each of the Brigadier's wild 
 schemes of revenge. He bravely faced the
 
 190 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 rolling fire of oaths and sarcasms, emptying 
 the storm cloud of its electricity, and heedless 
 of the flash and the thunder. He worked 
 harder than ever with trowel and pick, and 
 when the gate-posts were re-built more firmly 
 than before, and another hundred Sepoys 
 were added to the Sepoy Guard, the Bri- 
 gadier's ' insensate, huge, gigantic anger ' be- 
 gan a little to abate. 
 
 But Major Pulfington Belper is already 
 at the mess to receive his guests. Sherry 
 and bitters are in the ante-room where they 
 are expected. Other officers all in bright 
 scarlet shell-jackets are also there, and the 
 Major, who has a little puerile vanity in his 
 composition, is rather proud of some of the 
 guests who are coming to dine with him. 
 Colonel Sandboy dines at the mess to-night. 
 In spite of the unfavourable impression he 
 created in the mind of Ensign Simpkin, this 
 officer is not without merit. In India every 
 one is very fat or very thin, and the Colonel 
 is a stout, jovial, good-humoured old gen- 
 tleman, who evidently relishes Bass's bitter
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 191 
 
 beer as it foams through his moustaches, 
 grizzled as those moustaches are with many 
 marches and battles. He has the reputation 
 of being a good officer, and was away at 
 Fort William on court-martial duty when the 
 affair of the Brigadier's gates took place. He 
 has privately warned his officers that nothing 
 of the kind must occur again. Charley 
 Simpkin and his friends are now sipping their 
 sherry, and assuming the airs of the most 
 dark conspirators. They do not seem to 
 attend much to the Colonel's warning. A 
 rush of buggies is heard outside, and the 
 five young civilians enter radiant in wdiite 
 ties and glittering in shirt-studs. The last 
 dinner-bugle has sounded, and the party are 
 on the move before Captains Lemesurier and 
 Spink arrive. They salute the young civilians 
 very haughtily indeed, and are not over 
 cordial even to their host. The apparition of 
 the civilians is a surprise to the military 
 gentlemen. At one end of the table where 
 Captain Ashleigh is vice-President, the Major's 
 covers are laid. He sits with the five civilians
 
 192 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 on one side and the Captains on the other. 
 Opposite are Charley Simpkin and Messrs 
 Short, Sharp, Hodges, and Griffinhoof. 
 
 During the early part of the dinner all 
 were rather silent. AVhy does everybody 
 speak in a whisper when his mouth is full of 
 soup ? But at the first pop of a champagne 
 cork, Mr ChifFoey ChafFney begins to fiz and 
 sparkle. 
 
 ' Major ! ' 
 
 ' Yes, young man ! Hey ! ' 
 
 ' I want you to tell me what all these 
 mysterious articles in the papers refer to. 
 A\^hat have they done to the Brigadier's 
 gates ? ' 
 
 ' Oh, you know it does not do to rip 
 up old stories. There were some ill-ad- 
 vised frolics — which are now happily for- 
 gotten.' 
 
 'Well, but I have the authority of a 
 journal of weight to say that the matter is 
 not yet forgotten, and that the authorities 
 are on the track of the offender.' 
 
 ' Yes,' joined in Mr Helter, ' the finger
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES, 193 
 
 of suspicion already points liim out. Those 
 are the very words ! ' 
 
 ' Come, Major, you are on the spot, tell 
 us in confidence, who does that refer to ? ' 
 
 ' The Brigadier is under an impression 
 that it was an officer of the 44th ! ' says 
 Ensign Sharp of the 33rd across the table. 
 
 ' Yes, and they say he has discovered 
 where the muslin was purchased,' said Ensign 
 Griffinhoof. 
 
 ' Muslin 1 What muslin ! ' innocently in- 
 quires Mr Chiffiiey Chaffney. 
 
 ' Why, they say the culprit had a brazen 
 face which he shielded in muslin, disguising 
 himself as an Ayah ! ' explained Ensign 
 Sharp. 
 
 ' Come, come, you young boys are very 
 '' cheeky." Hey ! ' The Major, ordinarily a 
 purist in language, had adopted this mess 
 phrase. 
 
 ' Yes, Major ! Chiffney Chaffney at Rugby 
 always exhibited one Christian virtue. In 
 the presence of a bigger boy he offered his 
 cheeic to the smiter.' Charley Simpkin was 
 
 VOL. I. 13
 
 194 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 Hot fond of ]\Ir Chiffney ChafFney, and so 
 came to the Major's rescue, and completely 
 turned the laugh for a moment. 
 
 ' On one point I'll take my oath, Major, I 
 saw you purchase a tremendous lot of muslin 
 at the China bazar.' Thus Mr Welter. 
 
 ' Fie, fie ! ' said Mr Chiffney ChafFney. 
 'A stranger hearing you would fancy you 
 wished him to believe that our friend Major 
 Pulfington Belper has got a brazen face ! ' 
 
 ' Come, come, young man, I shall have to 
 call Simpkin to my aid again ; ' and then a 
 very happy thought seemed to strike the 
 Major. ' Begad, I shall begin to think that 
 what he says is true, and that the more you're 
 threslied the more you fly out in chaff. Hey ! 
 Hey! Hey! That's not bad. Hey!' and 
 he repeated it, as he always did his best jokes, 
 like a preacher his text, to the other side of 
 the cono^regration, ' the more vou're threshed 
 the more you fly out in chaff. Hey ! ' 
 
 ' But tell me one thing. Major,' said Mr 
 Helter; ' have they supplied the culminating 
 vidence, the missing gates ? '
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 195 
 
 ' Or found the crowbars and axes ? ' said 
 Mr Welter. 
 
 ' And tell me another thing ! ' said Mr 
 ChifFney ChafFney. 
 
 ' What's that ? ' 
 
 ' It is seriously stated in Calcutta that you 
 are the author of the famous article about the 
 sex of Barrackpore Brigadiers.' 
 
 ' Come, come, young man ! ' 
 
 ' Well, well. Major, it is a shame to laugh 
 at you, and 1 think t]ie affair has gone far 
 enough.' 
 
 ' I think it has,' said the poor Major, 
 who didn't like it. 
 
 ' I have always said it was not you.' 
 
 ' You were right for once. Hey ! ' 
 
 ' I have said my friend Major Pulfington 
 Belper is too steady, too serious, too experi- 
 enced an officer to do anything so indecorous.' 
 
 'You are right again, young man.' 
 
 * And yet, Major, a horrible thought strikes 
 me.' 
 
 ' What ? ' 
 
 * Those crowbars ! '
 
 196 OUT or THE MESHES. 
 
 'Well!' 
 
 ' Have I not seen you use one in the 44th 
 billiard-room ? ' 
 
 This sudden ingenious turning of the 
 Major's celebrated billiard joke against himself 
 produced more mirth than any other sally, 
 though latterly there had been loud guffaws 
 at almost everything that had been said, so 
 much so that Colonel Sandboy, who was 
 quite at the other end of the table, suddenly 
 roared out in a jolly voice, 
 
 ' Major Pulfington Belper, you are keeping 
 all the fun at your end of the table ; send 
 down some of the jokes this way.' 
 
 Poor Major Pulfington Belper, I think 
 he would have been quite willing to transfer a 
 great deal of the recent jocularity, had he been 
 so able. He felt, indeed, that he had made a 
 brilliant rally with his splendid image about 
 the threshing flail and the chaff. But on the 
 whole, he felt nothing could be so ill-timed and 
 unfortunate as the topic selected. What would 
 Captain Spink think ! What would Captain 
 Lemesurier think ! And did not these two
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 197 
 
 gentlemen actually represent the Governor- 
 General. In the confused brain of our be- 
 wildered old friend it almost seemed as if 
 the latter great functionary himself was in 
 person hearing him accused of pulling down 
 his superior's gates, and writing newspaper 
 articles calling in question the sex of Bar- 
 rackpore Brigadiers. In point of fact, the 
 two Captains did not seem to pay much at- 
 tention to him, but took their dinner in stately 
 grandeur, confining their conversation to them- 
 selves, in spite of one or two efforts on the part 
 of their host and of Captain Ashleigh to be 
 civil to them. To speak more truly, the con- 
 versation was confined to Captain Lemesurier, 
 and his remarks disparaging of the ' Dars ' made 
 for the especial benefit of his friend, Captain 
 Spink, and in the interest of that rare thing, 
 a true male friendship. 
 
 When the dinner was over, Captain Ash- 
 leigh called Charley into the ante-room. 
 
 ' Now, look here, Simpkin, a report has got 
 about that there is to be some more of that 
 silly gate-lifting to-night ; if this report is true,
 
 19S OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 all T can say is, that some fellows are very 
 imprudent, and very foolish/ 
 
 ' AVell, I am sure I don't know why you 
 should accuse me ! ' broke out Charley Simp- 
 kin. He and his fellow-conspirators hoped 
 that Ashleigh would have treated the matter 
 pke Major Winkw^orth. 
 
 ' Nobody accuses you, my dear fellow,' 
 said Captain Ashleigh, quietly. 
 
 ' Yes, you do, or why speak to me on the 
 subject ? ' 
 
 ' I don't accuse you. It's not my busi- 
 ness to accuse you. It's not my business to 
 concern myself with anything that has oc- 
 curred in the matter. But if anything occurs 
 to-night, then it will be my business to concern 
 myself about it.' 
 
 ' Well, Captain Ashleigh, I must say that 
 I don't see that you are in any way justified 
 in speaking to me on the subject. Your pick- 
 ing me out does imply that you suspect me.' 
 
 ' i\Iy dear fellow, it implies nothing of the 
 kind. I don't say that I do suspect you ; I 
 don't say that I don't suspect you : but I say
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 199 
 
 this, that if you know anv of the vouno; fellows 
 whom you think likely to attempt to carry off 
 the Brigadier's gates to-night, just give them 
 a hint that I am going to put a stop to it.' 
 
 ' Oh, I'm to tell them you are going to 
 put a stop to it/ said the sarcastic Ensign. 
 ' Am I to inform them how you are going to 
 put a stop to it ? ' 
 
 ' Well, I don't know that I can tell you 
 my plans,' said the Captain, simply, ' I don't 
 know that I yet have any.' 
 
 What most irritated Charley Siuipkin was 
 the Captain's calmness. The most barbed 
 of the young man's darts seemed to strike the 
 breast of Captain Ashleigh's shell-jacket, and 
 fall harmlessly down. Once or twice the En- 
 sign had said to himself. Is he really the dull, 
 passionless man I usually take him for, or is 
 he something widely different ? It almost, 
 sometimes, seemed as if this humble Captain 
 of Native Infantry had, by sheer hard drill, 
 obtained as complete a control over his pas- 
 sions and emotions as he had over the fiery 
 Asiatics who shouldered arms in his ranks.
 
 200 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' I can tell you this much/ resumed the 
 Captain, ' Havildar Zorawur Sing, the great 
 wrestler of the regiment, is on guard at the 
 Brigadier's house, and though he has been 
 cautioned to offer all possible respect to any 
 one whom he can recognize as an officer, he 
 Avill assuredly seize any Ayahs or people of 
 that sort, and once in his grip you may be 
 certain they won't find it easy to get free.' 
 
 ' I don't know why you should have taken 
 such an affection for Brigadier Dewsnap, all 
 of a sudden.' 
 
 ' My dear young man, that's the mistake 
 you fellows make. We don't serve this Bri- 
 gadier or that General, but the Company who 
 pays us. Duty, whether agreeable or not, is 
 still duty, and as such a most sacred thing ! ' 
 
 When Charley Simpkin rejoined the party, 
 there was a council of war. The words of 
 Captain Ashleigh had made an impression on 
 him, and when repeated made an impression 
 on them. One or two were for going on with 
 the matter, in spite of every obstacle, but some.
 
 OUT or THE MESHES. 201 
 
 on the other hand, Ayanted to give it up alto- 
 gether, 
 
 'I tell yon what,' said Mr Welter, who 
 had been taking, if not too much, at least quite 
 enough of the excellent mess Madeira, ' I tell 
 YOU what. This venerable party, old Brigadier 
 DeAvsnap, has nothing to do with us. AVe'll 
 pull down his venerable old gates ! ' 
 
 ' Yes, and pull Captain Ashleigh's old nose 
 into the bargain,' said Mr Helter. 
 
 ' Yes, and then say it was old Pulfington 
 Belper. A terrible gate-lifter that old Pulf- 
 ington Belper ! ' said Mr ChifFney ChafFney. 
 We need not say that the Major had left his 
 guests in charge of the younger officers, having 
 an important match of billiards on hand. 
 
 After some discussion it was settled that 
 the five civilians should be the actual agents 
 in the business, the young military men acting 
 as pickets, to give the alarm if necessary. Then 
 if there was a strict inquiry next morning, 
 they could enjoy the fun of the authorities 
 being on the wrong scent. Before anything
 
 202 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 further was done, some brandy and soda-water 
 and fresh cheroots were suggested. They then 
 repaired to the quarters of Charley Simpkin. 
 
 Here the weapons of the conspkators v^ere 
 collected, the crow-bars and axes, as before. 
 Some black crape had also been provided, as 
 Ensign Hodges had read that morning of a 
 burglary in England where that precaution 
 had been adopted. The civilians tried it on, 
 but found that it prevented smoking, and was 
 moreover rather hot after a good dinner. Over- 
 coats and shooting jackets, which did not fit, 
 were provided for them, and then the whole 
 party started off. 
 
 The Brigadier's house was a corner house. 
 Thus in case of alarm there were three roads 
 open for flight, up and down the main road 
 or off* to the left round the corner. Twenty 
 yards up the main road there was a fourth 
 turning away to the right. That road led to 
 a road parallel to the main road, along the 
 line of captains' bungalows. 
 
 Mr Hodges took upon himself to ' post the 
 pickets,' as he called it. Fifty yards up the
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 203 
 
 road and fifty yards down tlie road a young 
 gentleman was stationed to give the alarm. 
 Fifty yards down the road to tlie left a third 
 young gentleman Avas stationed round the 
 corner of the Brigadier's compound, and half 
 way down the road which turned off to the 
 right a fourth gentleman was posted. The 
 last duty fell to our young friend, Mr Charles 
 Simpkin. 
 
 The working party was now escorted to 
 the scene of operations by Mr Hodges. 
 
 ' Hulloa, there don't seem any Sepoys on 
 the look-out,' said that officer. ' That's 
 lucky.' The Sepoys indeed seemed far less 
 alert than on a former occasion, w^ithin the 
 memory of Mr Hodges. Soon Lieut. Sharp on 
 his tattoo galloped up and said that all was 
 right, and that the picket was drawn up in rear 
 of the 83rd Mess-house, and if it came up the 
 main road must be seen and announced long 
 before it could reach the Brigadier's house. 
 Mr Hodges now requested Mr ChifFney ChafF- 
 ney and his friends to allow him and his 
 brother officers to get quite out of sight before
 
 204 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 they began. By this act Mr Hodges quieted 
 his conscience, and at as perfectly ready to 
 swear that he had had no hand in the business. 
 
 ' And so this wicked old gentleman thinks 
 that he's to stick up gates, and no one's to 
 knock them down, does he ? ' And Mr 
 Welter administered a blow with a crow-bar, 
 which made the masonry gate-posts ring. 
 
 ' He does not know what Samson is going 
 to walk off with his gates to-night,' said Mr 
 Chiffney Chaffney. 
 
 And so the party commenced working 
 with a will, enjoying their labour excessively, 
 the only drawback being that they found it 
 very warm Avork. 
 
 ' Could not you go and get some -beer, 
 Chiffney Chaffney,' said tbe perspiring Wel- 
 ter, ' and give that everlasting tongue of yours 
 a little rest ? You're not doing any Avork be- 
 sides.' 
 
 ' No, monster, that everlasting throat of 
 yours has been flooded enough to-day. Beer 
 deteriorates a man's brains, and I'd strongly 
 advise you to economize the httle you have.'
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 205 
 
 At this moment a colossal Havildar came 
 up to the gate from the inside of the com- 
 pound, saluted the gentlemen, and then said 
 very respectfully, 
 
 ' Sahib Log, you must not go on with 
 this. It is ao;ainst orders ! ' 
 
 'Oh no!' said Mr Chiffney Chaffney ; 
 ' the Brigadier Sahih has sent us a private 
 message that he wants these gates pulled 
 down, as he intends to put up some much 
 more pretty ones in their place.' 
 
 ' Whatever the Huzoor (person of rank) 
 wishes, but Ashleigh Sahib ordered me to 
 watch the gate, and to tell any of the SaJiib 
 Log that this work was against orders.' 
 
 ' But this fat, ugly Sahib here is Captain 
 Ashleigh's brother, who told him to knock 
 the gate right down.' 
 
 ' Well, I can only obey orders ! ' said the 
 Havildar, and he walked away. 
 
 Meanwhile our young friend Charley 
 Simpkin is watching at his post in the calm 
 moonlight. He finds it rather cold, and has 
 lit another cigar, and under the soothing in-
 
 206 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 fluence of the most excellent Manilla tobacco, 
 he begins to ponder upon the general affairs 
 of the world, which world always sooner or 
 later in his thoughts manages to contract it- 
 self into one of the world's daughters, Miss 
 Sophy Brabazon. To rather an odd frame of 
 mind is our young friend reduced by his pas- 
 sion for that young lady. To more than 
 the usual share of youth's enthusiasm, Mr 
 Charles Simpkin adds an intellect keen and 
 analytical beyond his years. The first he has 
 much pampered with poetry and romance, 
 and the second he has sharpened with a 
 smattering of philosophy, and a very extensive 
 study of the most cynical and the most witty 
 of the world's satirists and humourists. Thus, 
 without altogether understanding his position, 
 he has hitherto been living as it were in two 
 worlds, whose confines have been kept un- 
 usually sharp and distinct — the ideal world of 
 dreams and hope, and the real world of knaves 
 and fools, funny shams, and ridiculous weak- 
 nesses. 
 
 Insensibly this enthusiasm and this analy-
 
 OUT or THE MESHES. 207 
 
 sis have at last come into actual conflict on 
 the subject of Mr Liversege's niece. The 
 main idea of Mr Charles Simpldn's relation 
 to Miss Sophy Brabazon he conceives to be 
 this. He is a young soldier in love with the 
 most beautiful, the most pure, the most witty, 
 the most accomplished, the best-drest, best- 
 mannered, and most loving of her sex. He is 
 a crusader in Paynim lands bound to win his 
 right to her by his sword and by his merit. 
 He firmly believes that at the bottom of her 
 heart she loves him, and that thus his dream 
 will all be one day accomplished ; meanwhile 
 he is bound by every law of chivalry and 
 honour to trust her implicitly, in spite of all 
 apparent evidence against her. Like a brave 
 knight of old he must regard it all as the 
 illusion of enchantment, and believe the voice 
 of his soul before the teachings of his senses. 
 But when a young gentleman has cultivated 
 analysis its voice will also make itself heard. 
 I will do the present brave crusader the justice 
 to say that any direct attack on Miss Sophy was 
 rehgiously and conscientiously smothered in his
 
 '20S OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 mind at its very birth. But then sometimes 
 the voice of the soul would take the danger- 
 ous course of defending the lady love and 
 thus suo'O'est the attack. It was no doubt 
 quite true that the young lady had tempta- 
 tions and tempters. Although she Avas thrown 
 amongst dull, ridiculous, curry-eating fogies, 
 still their pomps and vanities, and luxuries 
 and glitter, were pretty nearly as substantial 
 as the other pomps and vanities of the world. 
 Then had she not a Mephistopheles (in dove- 
 coloured satin), or perhaps something more 
 terrible, a clever old woman, who went regu- 
 larly to church, took the sacraments, repeated 
 the responses, led an eminently respectable 
 life, and was always at her ear preaching the 
 most foul worship of Mammon, under the 
 guise of religious duty ? 
 
 Then, again, a man if he wants to marry 
 at all in this world must marry a woman ; 
 and a woman is after all a woman — a 
 thing of millinery and small vanities as well 
 as of love and self-sacrifice ; and the young 
 crusader finding that analysis was suggesting
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 209 
 
 the portrait of woman as painted by Mr Alex- 
 ander Pope or Monsieur Balzac rather than 
 by Wordsworth or the Reverend Charles 
 Kingsley, would abruptly suffocate the whole 
 train of thought in clouds of smoke, as he did 
 upon the present occasion. 
 
 In this manner Mr Charles Simpkin 
 mused on life and love and a crusader's duty 
 at a moment when he was helping to demolish 
 the barriers of authority. The night was 
 calm, and a monotonous wild chant with its 
 accompaniment of shrill waiHng Indian music 
 came from the neiofhbourino; hazar, where the 
 glare of oil lampji lit up the little streamers 
 which waved upon their frail bamboo masts 
 to attract Moslem wassailers. Around, the 
 cocoa-palms showxd their dark outlines in the 
 clear moonlight. Our young philosopher was 
 having brought forcibly home to him the 
 partial identity at once and vast difference 
 between the two worlds, the world of hope 
 and the world of fact, by the severe logical 
 process which mortals call ' first love.' 
 
 By this time one of the brick gate-posts 
 
 VOL. I. 14
 
 210 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 was quite destroyed, thanks to tlie energy of 
 Mr Welter. The crow-bars were about to be 
 directed against the second gate-post when 
 the party was once more interrupted. Ensign 
 Hodges rushed in amongst them and shouted 
 out, 
 
 ' Look out, you fellows, here's the patrol 
 coming up the main road ; you'd better 
 bolt ! ' 
 
 * Shall we separate ? ' said Mr Helter. 
 
 'No, keep together!' and away they all 
 started up the road, all except Mr Helter. 
 
 For that gentleman thought that the safer 
 plan was to rush at once round the corner to 
 the left. He had not got ten yards, however, 
 before he found himself conft'onted with 
 Havildar Zorawur Sing with a guard of six- 
 teen men drawn up right across the road. 
 
 ' It is Ashleigh Sahib's orders that no 
 one pass this way ! ' said the Havildar sa- 
 luting, and Mr Helter found himself caught 
 in a trap. 
 
 The other gentlemen dashed up the road 
 at a good pace, but they had not got thirty or
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 211 
 
 forty yards before they heard the tramp of 
 armed men in their front. 
 
 ' Hulloa, confound it, what's this ? you 
 said this infernal patrol of yours was coming 
 up the road,' said Mr Welter, who was a 
 little puffed, 
 
 ' So it is ! ' said Mr Hodges. 
 
 ' But here it seems to be coming down 
 the road.' 
 
 ' So it does ! ' said Mr Hodges. 
 
 ' Confound it all ! That's a bore ! we're 
 in a fix ; why didn't those fellows give us 
 warning ? ' 
 
 ' Stop,' said Mr Hodges, ' let's double 
 back and turn up the road to the right ! ' 
 
 The party did so. 
 
 ' Hooroosh, my boys ! we've jockeyed the 
 patrol, but it's mighty w^arm work ! ' said 
 Mr Chiffney ChafFney. 
 
 This was the road on which Charley 
 Simpkin was posted. Having come to the 
 end of his meditations and his cheroots, he 
 begun to find it dull work waiting. He 
 yawned, and thought that if it had not been
 
 212 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 for Ills promise to keep watch he would sneak 
 off to bed. The idea of anybody taking such 
 extreme precautions against the pipe-clayed 
 Ashleigh seemed quite ridiculous. 
 
 At this moment he looked up and saw^ a 
 column of Sepoys wheeling round the corner 
 from the road which ran by the captains' 
 bungalows, and the head of the column was 
 coming straight up his road in the direction 
 of the main road. 
 
 Charley Simpkin ran off as hard as he 
 could run in the direction of the Brigadier's 
 house, but soon he heard the clattering of a 
 pony behind him, and a voice shouted out, 
 
 ' Look here ! Stop, you fellow ! Oh, it's 
 you, Simpkin ; Avell, look here, you're under 
 arrest ! ' 
 
 ' What do you mean ? I may walk on any 
 road of the station I please, mayn't I ? Why, 
 it's Curzon ; what do you mean ? ' 
 
 'Well, all I can tell you is, that I have 
 Ashleigh's orders to arrest anybody on this 
 road, and so you're under arrest ! ' 
 
 ' Confound it, old fellov/. Don't be a
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 213 
 
 sneak too. Let me off, perhaps some fellows 
 may otherwise get into a scrape ! ' 
 
 ' That's all you seem to know about Ash- 
 leigh ; if I failed to execute one tittle of his 
 orders it would be more than my commis- 
 sion's worth.' 
 
 At this moment a party of Sepoys entered 
 the other end of the road, and five panting 
 breathless gentlemen rushed up. They were 
 a little in advance of the new column, and 
 found their road barred in front by Mr 
 Curzon's detachment. 
 
 ' Look here, you fellows, you're all under 
 arrest ! ' shouted that officer in an authoritative 
 voice. 
 
 '' Nonsense, what do you mean ? there must 
 be some mistake,' said Mr Welter. 
 
 ' Who goes there ? ' said Mr Hodges. 
 
 ' Discuss unto me, art thou officer, or art 
 thou base, common, and popular ? ' Charley 
 Simpkin, though angry, could not resist a 
 quotation from his favourite author. 
 
 ' Nobody can arrest Her Majesty's House 
 of Commons ! ' said ]Mr Chiffney Chaff'ney.
 
 214 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' Seriously, yoii fellows are all under arrest,' 
 repeated Mr Curzou. 
 
 'But we don't belong to the station 
 Nobody can arrest us. What do you 
 mean ? ' 
 
 ' I have the orders of the Field- officer of 
 the week, and I know of nothing else.' 
 
 ' But we've nothing to do with any Pield- 
 officer, or any day of the week. We have 
 every right to be on this road. The law is on 
 our side, you'll get into a serious scrape.' 
 
 ' I know of no law except the orders of 
 the Field-officer of the week.' 
 
 At this moment Captain Ashleigh himself 
 rode up. With him was Havildar Zorawur 
 Sing. Also Mr Helter, tlie detachments hav- 
 ing closed round that gentleman, and quite 
 prevented his escape. 
 
 ' Look here, Captain Ashleigh ! ' shouted 
 out Mr Charles Simpkin, ' I was on this road, 
 and I believe I have every right to walk on this 
 road, and I find myself arrested by your orders. 
 On what charge, may I ask ? ' 
 
 Captain Ashleigh asked the Havildar if he
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 215 
 
 had seen Ensign Simpkin working at the 
 Brigadier's gates. 
 
 ' No, Sahib ! ' repHed the Havildar. 
 
 ' Or Ensign Hodges ? ' 
 
 ' No, Sahib ! ' 
 
 'Then, Hodges, you and Simpkin are re- 
 leased from arrest.' 
 
 * But what I want to know is — •/ began 
 our young friend, rather grandly, and he re- 
 ceived a furtive kick on the shins from Mr 
 Curzon. 
 
 ' What a d — d fool you are ! ' said that 
 gentleman, in a whisper. 
 
 ' What do you mean ? ' 
 
 ' Hold your tongue ! Don't you see, he 
 has strained a point to let you off. You might 
 have been tried.' 
 
 Meanwhile the civilians had commenced 
 their attack, and wanted to know why they, 
 being quite independent of all military author- 
 ities, had been forcibly detained on the pubHc 
 highway. 
 
 Captain Ashleigh again addressed the 
 Havildar.
 
 216 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' Do you see any of the gentlemen here 
 whom you reported as in the act of breaking 
 down the Brigadier Sahib's gates ? ' 
 
 ' Yes, Sahib ; besides this Sahib (Mr Hel- 
 ter), I saw those four other Sahibs there ! ' 
 
 ' Then, gentlemen, I am sorry to say that 
 you must consider yourselves under arrest, and 
 remain in the station until to-morrow morn- 
 ing ! ' 
 
 ' But you've no authority over us, we're 
 in the Bengal Civil Service,' said Mr Helter. 
 
 ' I can't discuss the question with you. 
 My duty is to see that no one pulls down the 
 Brigadier's gates. Three hundred men are 
 detached every night for the purpose of pre- 
 venting it. You have been detected in the 
 act. You must give me your word that you 
 consider yourselves under arrest, and will all 
 be forthcoming in the morning.' 
 
 'We positively refuse to do anything of 
 the sort ! ' said the five young men, grandly. 
 
 ' But it is quite necessary ! ' 
 
 ' No ! AVe refuse ! Detain us at your 
 peril.'
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 217 
 
 ' There's no question of peril/ said Captain 
 Aslileigh, quietly. ' I must obey my orders, 
 which are, that the offenders, if officers, are to 
 be placed under arrest, if "others," they are to 
 be confined in the Regimental Quarter-guard. 
 I have given you your choice. Curzon, if these 
 gentlemen still refuse you must take them off 
 to the 44tli Quarter-guard.' 
 
 And Captain Ashleigh rode away, and in 
 a short time the five members of the Bengal 
 Civil Service found themselves opposite a 
 small brick building scarcely large enough for 
 the kennel of a large Newfoundland dog. 
 
 ' Hulloa, we can't stop here. We shall 
 die, like the people in the Black-hole ! ' said 
 Mr Welter. 
 
 ' There'll be one consolation : this con- 
 founded xVshleigh would be hanged, and so I 
 hope would the confounded Brigadier.' 
 
 ' I say, you fellows,' said Mr Curzon, 
 'you're great muffs. Excuse me for saying 
 so. You're in a much more serious scrape 
 than you think, and by raising the question of 
 authority, you make your act of to-night so
 
 218 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 notorious, that let Government decide the 
 general question how it may, you must be sent 
 to the wall. If you stay here all night you 
 completely prevent the matter from being 
 hushed up.' 
 
 There was much truth in this, and in the 
 end the young men gave the desired promise. 
 The appearance of the Quarter-guard settled 
 the matter. Perhaps Captain Ashleigh intend- 
 ed that it should so do. — I may mention, as 
 the scene must shortly shift, that although the 
 Brigadier was furious the next day, the matter 
 was eventually hushed up, thanks to the ex- 
 ertions of Mr Vesey, and the question of the 
 Brigadier's gates became eclipsed by a much 
 more important one, for Miss Rosalind Vol- 
 laire, the actress, is coming to India from 
 AustraHa, and Captain Beverley, the gifted 
 amateur light comedian, has arranged that 
 she shall make her dehut at Barrackpore in 
 the popular play, The Ironside. Charley Simp- 
 kin (who came out as an actor on board ship) 
 has been engaged for the part of Lady Haw- 
 thorn, but he would have preferred Captain
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 219 
 
 Beverley's part, the hero Cloiideslcy , a handsome 
 and brave but somewhat sarcastic and moody 
 gentleman, some of whose speeches ' found ' 
 the young officer at this period of his mihtary 
 career. He would very much have liked to 
 declaim the following before Miss Sophy, in 
 the handsome costume of the period of the 
 Pirst Charles, — 
 
 ' Folly is ofttimes sweetness in excess ; 
 Sweetness with wisdom are in Heaven alone. 
 Thus, were a woman wise as she is sweet, 
 Or a wise woman sweet as well as wise — 
 (If a wise woman ever walked the earth), 
 Then her true loyal heart would beat alone 
 To loyal heart responsive pulse to pulse, 
 And these in turn should parent loyal hearts 
 And starve up knavery — '
 
 220 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 THE WOMAN IN LAVENDER. 
 
 This afternoon is fixed for the great picnic 
 to the Botanical Gardens. It is given by 
 ^Irs Liversege, to all Calcutta we might almost 
 say. She feels that as Mr Liversege's ap- 
 pointment to Nawaubgunge is almost a cer- 
 tainty, it is a good occasion to do something. 
 A ball is out of the question unless she 
 chooses to drive her sister out of the house. 
 But Mrs Throgmorton finds no objection 
 against the picnic. On the subject of picnics 
 she has no work of reference written by her 
 great authority, the Rev. Eli Pellicrook. And 
 a botanical picnic seems plainly removed from 
 the category of mere vain pleasures. 
 
 ' I don't think, Maria,' she says at length 
 to her sister, ' I don't think there is much 
 harm in a botanical picnic'
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 221 
 
 ' Harm, of course not ; Avliy, the Lieutenant- 
 Governor gave one six ^veeks ago.' 
 
 ' The young people can improve their 
 minds, you know.' 
 
 ' Of course they can, Hannah, and read 
 the long Latin labels on every bush, if they 
 hke. Besides, young people must amuse 
 themselves, and when young people are look- 
 ing for a home — ' 
 
 ' I agree with you there, Maria ; a picnic 
 holds out many more advantages than a ball, 
 where the gentlemen, besides being very 
 wicked, are very much out of breath. In a 
 pretty retired walk a man is more collected/ 
 
 ' Yes, but he is more nervous, dear ; the 
 music and the exercise give confidence ! ' 
 
 ' My love, that is taking a worldly view of 
 the subject. When will you understand that 
 the wisdom of this world is foolishness? I 
 tell you that at a quiet and serious tea party, 
 where the gentlemen are sober and earnest 
 and prayerful, there are more unions made up 
 than at all the balls in the kingdom. Serious 
 people are more thoroughly serious.'
 
 222 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' Yes, dear/ said Mrs Liversege, ' it is well 
 known that at Bible tea-parties there is more 
 flirtation than anywhere else ; but in Calcutta, 
 you know, where they are chiefly composed 
 of half-caste converts, serious artillery Majors, 
 and preaching Colonels ' — 
 
 ' My dear, if the men are thoroughly 
 good ' — 
 
 ' Good men, no doubt, but we must think 
 a little of position.' And Mrs Liversege de- 
 cided upon the picnic to the Botanical Gar- 
 dens. Why was she so anxious to give the 
 best opportunity to gentlemen to ofl'er to 
 young people position and a home ? 
 
 The party is to meet at the Gardens at 
 half-past three. They wdll come, by water, 
 so half the dinghys, pinnaces, and hollos are 
 hired in consequence. I need not say that a 
 native holiday is selected for the occasion. 
 And a very great triumph indeed has been 
 gained by the tact of Mrs Liversege. The 
 Lieut.- Governor of the Sunderbunds is pro- 
 vided w^th a very magnificent official yacht 
 to make his tours of inspection with becoming
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 223 
 
 state ; water carriage being of course very 
 necessary in that portion of the Indian em- 
 pire. Through ]\Irs Windus, Mrs Liversege 
 had obtained the loan of this, as they both 
 feel that their recent triumph over the Pretti- 
 john interest ought to be celebrated in a 
 becoming manner. When I mention that 
 Mr Windus's yacht was a golden vessel, 
 modelled almost entirely upon the state barge 
 of the Lord Mayor of London, and that it 
 was so big that it had to be towed by a 
 steam tug, the ' General Littler,' you can 
 judge that it added great eclat to Mrs Liver- 
 sege's picnic. She and her husband, Mrs 
 Throgmorton and Motee, all went down in 
 it, and so of course did Sophy in the most 
 delicious lavender dress that ever was seen. 
 And their party had received an unexpected 
 addition. That morning Captain Ashleigh 
 had been persuaded by Mr and Mrs Vesey 
 to come with them into Calcutta, as they vrere 
 going to see some new carriage-horses there 
 for sale, and wanted his opinion. When in 
 Calcutta he suddenly found himself at Mr
 
 224 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 Liversege's without his being the least aware 
 of the fact. And though Mrs Vesey had 
 declined Mrs Liversege's invitation to the 
 picnic, nevertheless, when she found herself 
 thus caught in Calcutta, and in Mrs Liver- 
 sege's house on the very morning of that 
 entertainment, she found it impossible any 
 longer to decline, and Captain Ashleigh was 
 also compelled to take a passage on board 
 the state yacht. Mr Palmer Brown was 
 also to be of the party, but he had told them 
 not to wait for him, as he had business that 
 morning with Mr Windus which might de- 
 tain him. The great Mr Windus himself 
 proposed to come down by land with his 
 family at a later hour. 
 
 I don't think Mrs Liversege was much 
 grieved at the absence of ^]y and Mrs 
 Windus in the boat. When that brave vessel 
 received its brilliant cargo, it presented a 
 gallant appearance. I have only mentioned 
 a few of the passengers ; there were many 
 others whose names have no interest in 
 our story. As the yellow waters of the
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 225 
 
 Hooglily bubbled past the golden ribs of the 
 gaudy craft, and twenty Manghies pulled 
 ropes with loud screams and religious ejacu- 
 lations, the new Admiral felt a pleasing elation 
 as she watched the green lawns of Garden 
 Reach, and their pretty villas. They passed 
 many a stout Indiaman riding at anchor. 
 They passed native boats Avith ragged and 
 torn sails. They passed a Ganges steamer 
 with its tiers of lofty cabins and Venetian 
 sides. By-and-by the vessel shot across the 
 river, and her head was turned towards a 
 small ghaut on the other side. Green slopes 
 of velvet turf came down to the stream's 
 edge. Flowers of every hue, shape, and 
 class, the rarest and most beautiful flowers 
 in the East, shone bright in the strong sun- 
 light. The stateliest of earth's trees rustled 
 gently above, and threw their shade around. 
 India is the Eden of the world, and this was 
 the Eden of India. 
 
 But before the native sailors could reach 
 the ghaut their progress was arrested by a tiny 
 little dinghg. A dinghy is a humble craft some- 
 
 VOL. 1. 15
 
 226 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 thing between the meanest of gondolas and the 
 shabbiest of canoes. In this craft was a Major 
 and an Ensign, and the former, to do him justice, 
 seemed sincerely anxious to induce the ragged 
 native boatsmen to make way for the more im- 
 posing craft. But the stolid oarsmen pulled 
 straight to the ghaut, and then clamoured loud- 
 ly for huJcsheesh, equally heedless of the Field- 
 officer's agitation and of the presence of the 
 stately galley, whose passage they barred. That 
 fabric seemed so imposing and enormous with 
 its accompanying steamer which hissed and 
 fumed, and the dinghy so very small and petty, 
 that the contrast quite tickled the younger 
 officer; but soon the Major could stand it no 
 longer and hurried away, still pursued by his 
 tw^o dusky ragamuffins, with whom he appeared 
 terribly irascible, as he stalked rapidly along. 
 Mr Palmer Brown was not a passenger on 
 board the state-yacht. He did not arrive in 
 time. Sophy was in wonderful spirits, and 
 never looked so animated and so pretty before. 
 Her aunt (the admiral before alluded to) was 
 constantly at her side petting her and admir-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 227 
 
 ing her dress, that is, when the admiral's 
 attention Avas not taken up with the rest of 
 her brave crew. Sophy for the first time in 
 her life was not very cordial to kind Mrs 
 Vesey, who thought that she once or twice ob- 
 served a tone almost of defiance in the midst 
 of the young lady's gaiety. To Motee, on 
 the other hand, the vivacious beauty was most 
 kind. She was always breaking aw^ay from 
 this gentleman and that gentleman, to carry 
 her some little message. And then she would 
 suddenly sit by her and draw the more timid 
 young lady into the whirl of the giddy con- 
 versation she was carrying on with three or 
 four gentlemen at a time. Her dress is trim- 
 med to-day with sky-blue, but the trimming 
 is very narrow. 
 
 Captain Ashleigh was sitting by Mrs 
 Vesey. Sophy tripped over more than once 
 to speak to the lady, but she was a little stately 
 towards the gentleman. He certamly must 
 be the bear Charley described him, for he had 
 never once called whilst she was at Mrs Vesey's 
 house, and had never come to Calcutta. It was
 
 228 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 absurd any young lady taking an interest in 
 such a man. He was brave, no doubt, as 
 Mrs Vesey said, but every officer was brave. 
 He had been in many battles, but that was a 
 mere question of luck. Sophy had heard a 
 great deal about him from Mrs Vesey, and 
 had taken some interest in him when she 
 learned that his career, which had been on 3 of 
 immense promise for so young a man, had 
 been suddenly clouded by a mysterious affair. 
 The Captain had resigned a very important 
 post, and ever after had done the plain duty 
 of regimental officer. Sophy could obtain no 
 more details from ]Mrs Vesey, who was as re- 
 served on this point as she Avas on some 
 others, but perhaps the mystery added its 
 charm. But she felt now that she had only 
 thrown away her sympathy on a very common- 
 place man, whose odd conversation had in- 
 terested and piqued her a little at first. He 
 must be treated like other commonplace men, 
 and so finding him very frank and good- 
 hamoured every time she went to Mrs Vesey,
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 229 
 
 one trip she invaded her with the army of 
 young civihans, and quite astonished that good 
 lady with the spirit of her merriment. But the 
 Captain seemed to take that and everything 
 else she did as a matter of course. He seemed 
 to know her better than anybody else, although 
 he had only spoken to her once. A word, a 
 look, would drive Charley Simpkin or Mr 
 Palmer Brown into the sulks for a week, but 
 the kindness of the Captain was quite aggra- 
 vating. Positively when he offered to assist her 
 down the plank, she rejected his assistance 
 almost rudely. Mrs Vesey, who had gone 
 down Avith him a minute before, was quite 
 struck with her manner. 
 
 'Has Captain Ashleigh offended you, dear? 
 You seemed quite annoyed with him when he 
 offered you his hand to help you down the 
 plank.' 
 
 ' Offended me ! Oh dear, no ! But people 
 in India seem to think ladies so terribly help- 
 less. I don't want assistance every time I 
 put one foot before the other.'
 
 230 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' But still the plank was long and in- 
 secure.' 
 
 ' Yes, but a bath this warm day would 
 have been so delightful. The river looks so 
 calm.' 
 
 ' You must not trust its looks, dear. The 
 last time I was here, a sad affair occurred. 
 A young lady fell in and was drowned.' 
 
 ' What ! could no gentleman jump in after 
 her, and save her ? ' 
 
 ' Several tried to, but she sunk and never 
 rose again. In the Hooghly is a terrible 
 under-current, though it looks so calm and 
 slow. Once in that you seldom rise again. 
 So many have been drowned in the Hooghly.' 
 
 * How terrible ! It looks so sleepy and 
 still.' 
 
 ' Are you irritated against Captain Ash- 
 leigh ? I thought you talked a little at him to- 
 day.' 
 
 ' I ! Oh no. I like to tease everybody a 
 little. You seem to have a great opinion of 
 the Captain.' 
 
 ' He is one of Mr Vesey's greatest friends.
 
 OUT or THE MESHES. 231 
 
 He esteems him very highly indeed, and so 
 would you if you knew him.' 
 
 Meanwhile, other boats had arrived, and 
 the party had scattered upon the various walks 
 and lawns of the gardens. Some went to see the 
 great hanijan tree, whose branches throw down 
 shoots which take root and form other branches, 
 until at length one tree becomes almost a 
 forest. Some went to see this rare plant, and 
 some that curious flower, and puzzled over 
 their long Latin names. Some sat in the shade 
 and enjoyed the soft calm air. Above waved 
 the mimosa, the feathery peepul, the rustling 
 palm, and all the most beautiful trees of the 
 East. It was indeed the Garden of Eden, a 
 docketed paradise. 
 
 'I say. Major, Eden must have been a 
 nice place,' said a moralist under these melan- 
 choly boughs. 
 
 ' Eden, Eden, hey ! ' rephed the Major, 
 using an interjection which the reader must by 
 this time have noticed to be habitual to him. 
 ' Why, I suppose it was ! ' 
 
 'There a woman loved a man, and not-—'
 
 232 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' Hush, hush,' said the Pield-officer, an- 
 ticipating, apparently, something unseemly in 
 his friend's thought. 
 
 ' I say,' resumed Mr Simpkin, ' that Mr 
 Palmer Brown is branded with the letters 
 B. C. S. more deeply than his neighbours.' 
 
 ' Hush, Simpkin, for God's sake ! No 
 disparaging remarks about Calcutta officials or 
 Calcutta young ladies.' 
 
 The honest Major is in trouble. He always 
 is in trouble. He has just lost a great deal of 
 money to Mr Helter at billiards, and having 
 made a vow not to bet any more money, he is 
 losing cases of beer, guns, and French kid 
 gloves. And to these many sources of irrita- 
 tion he adds, as you know, the pangs of 
 despised love ; but although his double loyalty 
 is being put to a rude ordeal, it issues un- 
 scathed. This is a paragraph from the fashion- 
 able intelligence of the Bengal HurJcaru, which 
 has moved these two gentlemen, and rather 
 spoiled their picnic. 
 
 ' We hear that a matrimonial alliance is 
 on the tapis betw^een a very eminent covenant-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 233 
 
 ed civilian, not a Imndred miles from the 
 Presidency, and a young lady, whose beauty 
 and merit have only to be known to be appre- 
 ciated. We need not say that we allude to 
 the niece of an eminent Judge in the siidder,' 
 Perhaps it is this that makes Mr Charles 
 Simpkin utter bitter remarks about the sym- 
 bolical letters 'B. C. S.'
 
 234 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 THE MAN IN SKY-BLUE. 
 
 In company with the gentle reader I must 
 again take the Hberty of invading the chambers 
 occupied by Mr Pahuer Brown. Whilst the 
 golden barge is preparing for a start, the Secre- 
 tary to Government (Poolscap Department) is 
 busily engaged with the contents of a brown- 
 paper parcel just arrived from the establish- 
 ment of Messrs Slasher and Braidmore, civil 
 and military tailors. A blue frock-coat is on one 
 of the arm-chairs of the apartment (Mr Palmer 
 Brown's bed-room, if you must know all), and 
 that highly appreciated civil officer is standing 
 before a large cheval glass, and viewing, with 
 much satisfaction, a new pair of trousers 
 which he has just put on. He faces towards 
 every point of the compass in turn, but the 
 northern and the eastern and the southern
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 235 
 
 and the western aspect seem all equally satis- 
 factory. The colour of these garments also is 
 quite delightful, it is a dehcate grey picked 
 out with strawberries and cream. 
 
 If all this should seem strange in a grave 
 functionary entrusted with some of the most 
 important interests of the colossal empire of 
 Hindustan, I must remind you at once that 
 Mr Palmer Brown was always esteemed very 
 careful about his dress ; now minute atten- 
 tion to such details must be much the same 
 process whether the costume be that of a beau 
 or a bishop. This particular pair of trousers 
 has been returned to Messrs Slasher and 
 Braidmore no less than five times, and now 
 you see the fit is perfect. Mr Palmer Brown 
 is a short, fat man, and as such, very particu- 
 lar and fond of showy colours. See now, he 
 is forcing the point of a large coral pin into a 
 sky-blue neck-tie. But sky-blue has a deep 
 meaning to-day, as our readers are well aware. 
 
 Mr Palmer Brown puts a leather belt 
 round his waist and fastens it rather tightly. 
 He then puts on a white waistcoat, but not
 
 236 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 quite satisfied with it apparently, he takes it 
 off again, and gives the belt another pull. 
 All these movements are watched in silence by 
 the gravest and most decorous of white-robed 
 Sirdars. Kiiria Muity, a high-caste Hindu, 
 with a long yellow streak on his forehead, 
 evidently thinks that the toilet of a high officer 
 of state is an important proceeding. He again 
 hands the white waistcoat to his master. But 
 even now it does not give satisfaction. 
 
 ' But after all,' says Mr Palmer Brown, 
 pensively, — he has just taken another long 
 look in the cheval glass, — 'But after all, 
 women love fat men.' 
 
 And, upon my word, I really think Mr 
 Palmer Brown is right. Confiding ladies do 
 love fat men. They seem to present some- 
 thing so solid, a rock to which weak souls can 
 cling, a railway buffer to break the shocks of 
 life ; a cushion, a dumpling — a dozen sugges- 
 tions of repose, luxury, and comfort. Depend 
 upon it, there is deep design in making 
 plumpness the chief noticeable attribute of 
 the god of love. And I am quite sure that it
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 237 
 
 was in a measure owing to this feeling of so- 
 lidity produced by the presence of weight and 
 bulk that much of Mr Palmer Brown's influ- 
 ence with men also was due. A little thin 
 man might have paraded his sham state- 
 secrets till doomsday without taking anybody 
 in. But when you plainly saw that the pos- 
 sessor of the secret was so substantial and 
 real, you could not help lending some of his 
 substantiality to the secret itself. 
 
 I need not say that the trousers of deli- 
 cate grey (picked out with strawberries and 
 cream) appear to even greater advantage when 
 set off by the blue frock-coat and the white 
 waistcoat. 1 think I have once said that Mr 
 Palmer Brown's foot was a small one, but 
 small as it is it takes the grave Sirdar Kiiria 
 Mutty full ten minutes to get on the patent 
 leather boots which are to figure to-day. Mr 
 Palmer Brown is, however, in the best of 
 humours, and bears the delay with much 
 good temper. The bearer then hands him a 
 pair of pale gamboge gloves exactly two sizes 
 too small for him, and Mr Palmer Brown walks
 
 238 OUT or the meshes. 
 
 into the sitting-room to put these on. Why 
 ten minutes afterwards when the black serv- 
 ant carries him his handkerchief and a large 
 bottle of scent — why a gentleman who has 
 borne the protracted operation of having his 
 feet pinched, racked, and shampooed into the 
 tightest of boots, should suddenly become 
 angry and call his servant the son of a pig is 
 more than that servant can easily divine. The 
 Feringhy race, though wise and brave, have 
 evidently a touch of madness in their com- 
 position. Do they not eat beef instead of 
 worshipping it? Do they not convert their 
 ladies at once into idols and nautch girls? 
 Do they ever adore the Ganges or burn their 
 widows ? But that holy stream is vindictive 
 as well as all-powerful, and confounds their 
 devices. And now it has smitten with mad- 
 ness the sedate Palmer Brown Sahib, a 
 gentleman as fat as a Rajah and as grave as a 
 Brahmin priest. 
 
 There was a reason for the said Sahib's 
 change of manner, although it was not to be 
 expected that Sirdar Kuria Mutty would fully
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 239 
 
 understand it. A letter had been delivered 
 to Mr Palmer Brown just before the bearer 
 came in. This was what it contained : — 
 
 ' Dear Mr Palmer Brown — 
 
 ' As you take an interest, I think, 
 in the vacant appointment at Nawaubgunge — 
 (who does not just now ?) — I lose no time in 
 letting you know that papa has just returned 
 from Barrackpore, and has there learnt some- 
 thing which has much surprised him. Govern- 
 ment House has pronounced very strongly 
 against Mr Liversege. His decision in the 
 case of Rao Buck a Muck, the Moulvie fanatic, 
 is objected to. Many thanks for the volume 
 of Poems by Miss Miniver. I agree with you 
 that the piece called '' Dead Leaves " is ver^ 
 beautiful. 
 
 ' Yours very sincerely, 
 
 'Emma Windus.' 
 
 No wonder Mr Palmer Brown was dis- 
 turbed and angry when he read this. No 
 wonder that he called his faithful black
 
 240 OUT OE THE MESHES. 
 
 servant hard names. Whether the stroke 
 came from an outraged river-god or an offend- 
 ed bull it was indeed enough to drive the 
 staidest man half mad. The combinations of 
 the most subtle politicians become of course a 
 mere mockery if disturbing forces like this are 
 suddenly introduced into their calculations. 
 The very wisest and most experienced officials 
 in Calcutta had lately come to the conclusion 
 that the Governor- General must fix upon one 
 of two candidates for the Residency of Na- 
 waubgunge. Everybody else but Mr Liver- 
 sege and Mr Wotherspoon had long since 
 been quite out of the betting. Then came 
 the news that Government House had pro- 
 nounced very strongly against Mr Wother- 
 spoon on account of the affair of the Opium 
 Gumashtas at Budge Budge. If ever an Indian 
 political question seemed fixed and certain it 
 was the present one ; and no^y Government 
 House has pronounced against the only other 
 possible candidate, on account of the decision 
 in the case of Rao Ruck a Muck, the Moulvie 
 fanatic. Mr Palmer Brown is thoroughly be-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 241 
 
 wildered and perplexed. 1 doubt if so puz- 
 zling a problem has vexed the shrewd Indian 
 pohtical intellect since the days when Lord 
 Minto debated in his mind how he was to 
 get his conquering army back again out of 
 Affghanistan. 
 
 For observe, the question has become much 
 more complex than it was when we last saw 
 Mr Palmer Brown deliberating in the solitude 
 of his chamber. It was difficult enough, in 
 all conscience, even then. But this silly 
 paragraph in the Bengal HiirJcaru has com- 
 plicated matters terribly. Mrs Windus has 
 read it, he knows that by her manner. The 
 shrewd Calcutta Secretary sees very plainly 
 that that good lady is not to be trifled with 
 much longer. Shall he go boldly to the pic- 
 nic like a true knight wearing the colours of 
 his lady ? Mrs Liversege will take it in the 
 light of an engagement. What of that ? The 
 great desire of his heart is of course to be- 
 come engaged to Sophy ; and if marriage 
 should eventually prove quite out of the 
 question, it would be an engagement which 
 
 VOL. I. 16
 
 242 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 he could easily both back out of at last and 
 deny at present to Mrs Whidus. 
 
 ' Hang it, I'll play the bold and manly 
 game ! ' said Mr Palmer Brown. 
 
 But a few moments' reflection showed him 
 that the bold and manly game is much too 
 hazardous in the face of the vigilant Mrs 
 Windus, who may at any moment find a per- 
 manent Secretary for the Foolscap Depart- 
 ment even now. In the terrible uncertainty 
 that lady must now be made his first study. 
 Perhaps this sentimental official's position at 
 present is one of the nicest that ever bewildered 
 a public man and a lover, and all through 
 the absurd uncertainty at Government House 
 about this tiresome vacant Residency at Na- 
 waubgunge. 
 
 It is to be noticed that in each of his 
 schemes the sentimental difficulties are never 
 much dwelt on. The great man seems to 
 have lived so long in the East that there is 
 something of Oriental confidence in his court- 
 ship. Calcutta seems one large bazar, where 
 the most beautiful slaves await the nod of the
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 243 
 
 most wealthy and exalted of the Emperor's 
 great officers of state. Mr Palmer Brown has 
 lived a long time in India. Mr Palmer Brown 
 has lived many years in Calcutta. He is 
 shrewd and practical where his own immediate 
 personal interest is concerned. He has flirted 
 with many young and graceful ladies, and 
 gained much knowledge of the intricacies of 
 the Anglo-Indian female heart. He believes 
 he is sentimental, and is confident that he is a 
 ladies' man. And it does seem an odd result 
 of all this widely-culled experience, that a short, 
 stout, middle-aged Pacha should think that he 
 has only to shake a sky-blue handkerchief at 
 a beautiful woman, and she is made happy for 
 ever. 
 
 India is a paradox. Prench philosophers, 
 puzzled with the world's contradictions, have 
 gone so far as to assert that irony is the basis of 
 the Divine system, which is a very Prench way 
 of putting the matter. Perhaps this irony is in 
 the particular inherent retribution of each moral 
 offence ; or are the offenders given over to a 
 sardonic Mephistophelean spirit of ill, who
 
 244 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 smiles a cold cruel smile, as he filches all 
 elation from the cup of the drunkard, all joy 
 from the kiss of the voluptuary, all luxury 
 from the gold of the miser, all the flimsy com- 
 forts of vanity from those who worship vain 
 things. And how must such a spirit revel in 
 India, the Eden of inconsistencies, the empire 
 of Counting-house Moguls, Boshington-Clives, 
 Cit-Conquerors ; and of mushroom Brahmins, 
 w^ho contemn and imitate the swarthy Pundits, 
 whose pedigree is of forty centuries ! There 
 Buddhism jostles with Romanism, and Exeter 
 Hall strives to teach ascetic pietism to the 
 races who gave it originally to Europe. There 
 pseudo-Brahminical Conservatism wars with 
 Anglo-Saxon energy ; there decayed London 
 courtiers find a snug asylum, and poor soldiers 
 the career of talents. There many of the 
 brightest heroisms of English story show side 
 by side with the blackest crimes ; and in this 
 particular year of our Lord, what strange con- 
 trasts might we not set down if we had leisure 
 to pursue them to the death ! — but we are 
 writing at present about Mr Palmer Brown,
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 245 
 
 and the tremendous political ' difficulty ' which 
 is now presented to his practised diplomatic 
 mind. It is neither more nor less than this : 
 shall he wear a sky-blue neck-tie, or shall 
 he take it off? Is it not a whimsical 
 retribution (not altogether unworthy of our 
 sardonic Mephistophelean spirit !) that the 
 best-informed official in Calcutta should be 
 thrown into this excruciating dilemma, from 
 a simple want of official information ? 
 
 I may mention here, that whilst able Cal- 
 cutta government men are engaged with such 
 tremendous issues ; in the Palace of Delhi, the 
 venerable representative of the old Moguls has 
 had a strange dream narrated to him. Hus- 
 san Uskeeree, a soothsayer of great repute 
 (and so devoted to the king that he has taken 
 advantage of his miraculous power to cut off 
 twenty years of his own life, and to add them 
 on to that of his monarch), has seen in a 
 vision a mighty storm arise in the west, black 
 and terrible as an Indian cyclone. Huge im- 
 pervious dust clouds preceded its march and 
 darkened the earth, amid lightnings and thun-
 
 246 OUT or the meshes. 
 
 ders. Trees were torn up by the roots, cities 
 ruined, rivers diverted into new channels, and 
 the whole country wasted by the force of the 
 unrelenting deluge ; but the form of the king 
 reclining peaceably on his royal bed floated 
 safely over the waters, and weathered the 
 hurricane. This is the dream that Hussan 
 Uskeeree has lately told to the King of Delhi, 
 and that monarch is a little startled at the 
 soothsayer's interpretation of it. AVill it come 
 true ? That is the question 1
 
 247 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 COLD-WATER CURE. 
 
 But, as we said before, the gong has 
 sounded for tiffin. A huge marquee has been 
 pitched, the great state tent borrowed from 
 the Lieutenant-Governor of the Sunderbunds. 
 
 A Lieutenant-governor travels about w^ith 
 as much magnificence as a Soobahdar of 
 Bengal in olden times. He has his tents and 
 his yacht, his long trains of elephants and 
 camels, his English civilians, his Aide-de- 
 camp, his numerous native officials, his guard 
 of honour, and his army of chuprassies. At 
 night he sits in great state in his canvas 
 palace, and entertains the grandees of the 
 land. Mr Curzon once commanded the two 
 companies of Sepoys sent with this magnifi- 
 cent camp, and told Charley Simpkin these
 
 248 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 details, and all this unwieldy pomp touched 
 that youthful humourist. Perhaps an hour 
 before, all the big-wigs of the province, col- 
 lectors, commissioners. Rajahs with a royal 
 pedigree of centuries, had attended the great 
 man's levee, where Mr Curzon and his sub., 
 Mr Hodges, had put on their full-dress uni- 
 forms, and figured, by request, as Aides-de- 
 camp ; and now these latter sit down and 
 enjoy their stately repast in company with some 
 of the most rising public men in India. Well, 
 well, the natives of the Sunderbunds must be 
 fully impressed with the importance of the 
 paramount Government. See, the guard turns 
 out, the drums beat, the sentries present arms, 
 above floats the great Union Jack of England 
 on a large flag-staff, and the great officer 
 enters the banqueting-hall, the English gen- 
 tlemen rise up, and the native servants fall 
 prostrate. He takes his seat. The silver 
 covers are removed. The private secretary 
 says grace, and the company falls to. 
 • And now the colossal banqueting-tent of 
 this great Pacha is pitched in the shade of the
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 249 
 
 miniosas and looks white, square, prim, and 
 luxurious. Two long tables are quite covered 
 with flowers, plate, fruits, and the confection- 
 ery of IMessrs Gunter and Co,, who have a 
 branch establishment in Calcutta. As the 
 guests take their seats Mrs Liversege feels a 
 pardonable elation. She has done the thing 
 very well, and does not yet know that her 
 flourish of trumpets has sounded ' Victory ' 
 much too soon. I am forced to admit, how- 
 ever, that her entertainment, though splendid, 
 has been hitherto a little dull. Calcutta so- 
 ciety is official, formal, languid, frigid, little 
 moved by smooth, green lawns, bright flowers, 
 and huge rustling trees — more moved, but not 
 much moved, by Gunter' s confectionery and 
 sparkling champagne. At the sound of the 
 gong several parties of well-dressed ladies and 
 gentlemen conclude their sedate walks, and 
 take their seats in the tent. The banquet is at 
 first very solemn, but the champagne by-and- 
 by gives it a little life. Soon peals of laughter 
 and merry voices are heard at one end of the 
 table, but that end is occupied by Mr Chiff'ney
 
 250 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 Chaffnej, and liis young friends, male and 
 female, and we know that ]\Ir ChifFnev ChafF- 
 ney is a Bengal civilian, whom no one has 
 ever yet accused of excessive prim dignity 
 and taciturn dulness. 
 
 This young gentleman and his co-mates 
 flirted a little with Miss Sophy Brabazon on 
 board the Sunderbunds' Budgerow, but they 
 are now coquetting with their old flame, Miss 
 Wotherspoon, once more — Mrs Liversege was 
 obliged to ask that young beauty, and to for- 
 get for the moment that she belongs to the 
 Prettijohn interest, because no Calcutta party 
 is complete without Miss Wotherspoon. AVhen 
 Mr Chifl'nsy Chafl'ney read the paragraph in 
 the Bengal Hurkaru about an approaching 
 marriao^e in hio;h life, he took on ao;ain with 
 the Prettijohn helle. To use this young gen- 
 tleman's own expressive terminology, he at 
 once 'shunted' Miss Sophy Brabazon. And 
 I need not say that this change of affection 
 meant likewise an alteration of sentiment in 
 the breasts of his four young friends. The 
 whole party marched off" in a body into the
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 251 
 
 camp of the enemy, and now they nudge each 
 other, and giggle and joke about Miss Wother- 
 spoon in private corners once again. Also, 
 now in the great tent they sit round her and 
 laugh and banter and pay their united ad- 
 dresses. Thev sacrifice to her libations of wine, 
 and I am sorry to say their worship takes a more 
 hurtful form. A brave field-officer, unable to 
 obtain a place at quite another part of the 
 table, has been compelled to sit down in the 
 midst of them. And now in the honour of 
 their beautiful goddess they are offering up a 
 human sacrifice, and roasting an unfortunate 
 fellow-creature. I need not say that the name 
 of their victim is Pulfington Belper. 
 
 Charley Simpkin was standing near Sophy 
 Brabazon when the gong sounded. Both were 
 talking to Mrs Vesey, indeed Sophy, wdio, as 
 we have said, had not been over civil to that 
 lady, had, nevertheless, been strangely at- 
 tracted to her from time to time. Charley at 
 once offered his arm to the young beauty, 
 leaving Captain Ashleigh to go to tiffin with 
 Mrs Vesey.
 
 252 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 Sophy was irresolute ; indeed, at first she 
 flatly refused. 
 
 ' I am engaged — that is, I think I am 
 engaged to somebody else/ and she looked 
 round the gardens with some eagerness. 
 
 But she took his arm at last and went 
 with him into the cool shady tent. He 
 hardly knew whether she was most vexed or 
 pleased with it. She was flippant, kind, 
 petulant, and taciturn as the mood struck 
 her. But under all the young man noticed 
 that there was something which made her sor- 
 rowful and pensive. He had never seen her 
 look so beautiful before, never seen her look 
 so grave. Charley showed a great deal of 
 proper spirit on the occasion, he was very 
 kind, very thoughtful, he took her petulance 
 with the greatest good humour, and when in 
 the middle of the most delicious little confab, 
 she suddenly darted away and talked for 
 ten minutes to Mr Duffin, a lank, stupid 
 man on the Board of Revenue, Charley only 
 smiled sadly, at her forced animation, and de-
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 253 
 
 voted himself to her just as patiently when she 
 condescended to return to him. ' Hang it all ! ' 
 If she can be so cut up for that official merry 
 andrew, there must be something in her ! ' He 
 glanced at her pale face and muttered to him- 
 self the words of the grim ' Ironside,' 
 
 ' Thus were a woman wise as well as sweet ! ' 
 
 and then handed her Nesselrode pudding, 
 leechees, and all the other delicacies, and 
 acted with a great deal of consideration. 
 He is bringing his mighty passion from the 
 clouds into the commonplace world, and I 
 think it is improving in consequence. He 
 showed much dehcacy and good feehng at 
 this particular tiffin party, and the philosophi- 
 cal historian begins from this moment to treat 
 his love with greater respect. True, it was 
 idealistic, subjective, lofty, before ; but now 
 that he is soothing a little wounded, flutter- 
 ing, unwise spirit, if more commonplace, it is 
 less selfish. I warn you all that I shall 
 have to write some much more sentimental
 
 254 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 chapters regarding it shortly, and so you 
 must be prepared. 
 
 ' The leechee as you say is a nice fruit, 
 sir. I hope you were not very angry because 
 I spoke just now to Mr Duffin.' 
 
 ' I tore my hair a little, and ground my 
 teeth a great deal.' 
 
 ' I see you did the latter, and am afraid I 
 interrupted your lunch before. Take some 
 more of that pie, there's a good boy.' 
 
 'A growing lad, you think. Thank you 
 very much ; and now what's the next sagacious 
 remark you're going to make ? ' 
 
 ' Don't be pert, sir ; let me see, you have 
 not been as saucy as usual to-day, have you, 
 sir ! ' 
 
 ' Saucy, define ! ' 
 
 ' Oh, '' witty," I dare say you call it.' 
 
 ' Oh, yes, I have ! It's all the effect of 
 contrast ! ' 
 
 ' Effect of contrast, what do you mean ? ' 
 
 ' Why, of course, after j\Ir Duffin's brilliant 
 story of the ChoivJceydar ! '
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 255 
 
 ' Hash ! What right had you to hsten. 
 Don't be severe, sir.' 
 
 ' No, I wont, if you'll promise to take one 
 of these Erench bonbons ! ' 
 
 ' Tut, bonbons are nonsense. I hate flip- 
 pant, conceited, clever people.' 
 
 'Then I won't be clever, amusing, enter- 
 taining ! ' 
 
 ' Military ladies like them. Don't they. 
 That Miss Blenkinsop ! I suppose you are 
 very amusing to her ! ' 
 
 'Yes, we all try to be funny, indeed 
 Major Pulfington Belper usually stands on 
 his head when he enters her drawing-room. 
 Wouldn't you like to see him do it.' 
 
 The young lady gave an angry toss of her 
 head. She had been flushed, excited, petu- 
 lant during the last speech or two, and in the 
 Ensign's opinion, very beautiful. To-day it is 
 not easy to soothe her. 
 
 There was a short pause in the conversation. 
 
 ' I'm in a horribly bad temper, to-day, 
 am I not ? '
 
 256 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' Are you ? I don't know. It mnst be 
 the Indian climate, if you are.' 
 
 ' India ! I am beginning to hate India.' 
 
 ' Oh, it has its good and bad points.' 
 
 ' I think it is artificial, mercenary, false. 
 You are too much of a boy yet, to understand 
 all these things. Look round there, the sun 
 is bright, the trees green and pleasant, the 
 flowers lovely, and yet in this Eden is nothing 
 but deceit, envy, and base competition for rank 
 and wealth. I wish we were in the steamer 
 again, Charley. It was pleasant that steamer.' 
 
 ' I didn't object to it, I admit,' said the 
 Ensign kindly. He thought if he could always 
 be called ' Charley,' from such lips, he would 
 not mind sailing about the Styx, in Charon's 
 yacht, for ever and ever. 
 
 ' I liked it. Mrs Vesey was so kind. 
 Everybody, you were kind then. Now, I 
 don't know what it is, all seems changed, 
 and one can't tell whom to trust, whom to 
 respect.' 
 
 ' Surely you can trust Mrs Vesey,' he said 
 gently.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 257 
 
 ' I suppose I can/ she said pensively, ' yes, 
 — what am I saying ? — of course I can 
 trust Mrs Vesey.' 
 
 ' And trust yourself.' 
 
 ' What do you mean, sir ? ' 
 
 ' AVhy, that you are to be trusted of all 
 people in the world. That's my private 
 opinion ! ' 
 
 ' You are a good child. By-the-by, though, 
 if you cease to be cutting, witty, critical, im- 
 pertinent, I shall cease to trust you, sir.' 
 
 ' I'll do anything to please you, and yet 
 your conduct and your remarks, and every- 
 thing this morning, not excepting that grey 
 dress, are so satisfactory, that I really don't see 
 how I can pull you to pieces.' 
 
 ' Don't be silly, sir. Tell me this, is not 
 your life in a military cantonment very idle 
 and unprofitable ? I hear it is. People here, 
 — I mean the Civil Service — say dreadful 
 things of you.' 
 
 * Unprofitable — to us it is— twopence half- 
 penny a day. Unprofitable to them — No ! 
 As we hold India.' 
 
 VOL. I. 17
 
 258 OUT or the meshes. 
 
 ' There seems to be a coolness between your 
 service and theirs.' 
 
 ' If they tell you all these things, I should 
 say that the coolness is chiefly with them.' 
 
 ' Tell me this, wdll you do me a favour ? ' 
 
 ' Of course, I will, Miss Sophy Brabazon.' 
 
 ' Perhaps it is very important. Perhaps it 
 is a great secret. Perhaps I shall require you 
 to be awfully confidential and mysterious ; are 
 you too giddy to be trusted ? ' 
 
 'Nonsense, go on. I'll do anything you 
 like.' 
 
 ' Mind, I don't say it is anything very 
 important or confidential. Have you heard if 
 there is any fresh news to-day about the ap- 
 pointment of Nawaubgunge ? ' 
 
 ' Toujour s Nawaubgunge,' muttered Mr 
 Simpkin. ' No, I have not.' 
 
 ' Well, would you ask, and find out if 
 there is, and tell me ? You know my aunt is 
 so interested, but you w^on't be giddy ! ' 
 
 The portion of the tent where these two 
 were sitting was a little dark. The backs of 
 their chairs were against the orange and black
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 259 
 
 wall of the tent, and Sophy's little hand hnng 
 down by her side. Whether or not there was 
 any necessity for the action, Mr Simpkin here 
 furtively seized that little hand and gave it a 
 prolonged squeeze, nodding his head in an- 
 swer to her question. 
 
 ' T thouirht that was cominj?/ he muttered 
 to himself a few minutes afterwards. ' But 
 I'll do it, hy George I will, and help her 
 while I can. How beautiful she looked when 
 she was angry ! and by heaven I never saw 
 her pensive and sorrowful before. She's a 
 thorough woman, sentimental, flippant, petu- 
 lant, variable, but she has a heart. It was 
 awfully jolly whilst it lasted, but I suppose 
 there is a serpent in every Eden, even this 
 one. Is he really more subtle than those 
 other beasts, I wonder, — oris he a toy snake, a 
 puffed up bladder with sham wriggle and hiss. 
 She really seems to like him. Well, well, I 
 suppose a woman must be true to the logic 
 of her nature, consistent with her inconsistency, 
 immoveable in her weakness!' And Mr 
 Simpkin hurried off to find out the latest in-
 
 260 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 telligence about Nawaubgunge, with as much 
 feverish bustle as if he had been a quidnunc 
 upon the " Secretaries' walk." ' 
 
 Meanwhile the tiffin had been enjoyed 
 with a certain starched and grave relish by 
 the generality of the assembled guests. Mrs 
 Liversege was very much put out by the 
 absence of Mr and Mrs Windus, and still 
 more so by the mysterious defection of Mr 
 Palmer Brown. What could have happened? 
 She put off the hour of the lunch three-quar- 
 ters of an hour, and then was forced to con- 
 tent herself with the arm of Mr Ignatius, a 
 highly talented gentleman in the Secre- 
 tariat (Reprimand Department). Mr Igna- 
 tius was a lean, bilious man of sacerdotal ap- 
 pearance, famous for his straightforward logic. 
 It must not be thought that every high Cal- 
 cutta official, like the gods of the Indian 
 mythology, is bulky. Mrs Liversege would 
 probably have had a very different appetite 
 for tiffin if she had known all that Mr Igna- 
 tius could have told her, for he was really be- 
 hind the scenes. That gentleman smiled
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 261 
 
 blandly, and answered politely, as she prattled 
 with much volubility and ignorance upon her 
 favourite topic of Indian state affairs. In a 
 pause of the conversation, when she had said 
 something more wrong than usual, he asked 
 her to take wine with much priestly suavity. 
 
 You must not be shocked. Every coun- 
 try has its customs. Mrs Liversege in aim is 
 refined, over-refined, and yet under the lea of 
 a golden barge, within a stately tabernacle, 
 and in the midst of the highest and best 
 drest people of India, who really looked up to 
 her, this is what Mrs Liversege replied to Mr 
 Ignatius' question. 
 
 ' Thank you, Mr Ignatius, Til take beer 1 * 
 Mr Liversege, who is not altogether in his 
 right element at a fete champetre, has escorted 
 Mrs Whitehead in to lunch. He does not get 
 on very well with that lady of rank. Mrs 
 Whitehead is sixteen, babyish, silly, and for 
 her tender years by far the biggest coquette 
 in India. She has just married old Mr 
 Whitehead, the senior member of the Rice 
 Committee. She is proud of her dress, which
 
 262 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 is the most expensive there. She is proud of 
 being taken in by the Governor of the feast. 
 But that staid old Governor and she have little 
 in common, and she soon looks horribly bored, 
 and glances towards an excessively well- 
 tailored Aide-de-camp who has tried to get a 
 seat near her but failed. Captain Lemesurier 
 has long since deserted Miss Sophy Brabazon. 
 Captain Spink now tardily follows his ex- 
 ample. He sits moodily drinking his wine. 
 He has had his revenge. Lemesurier fresh 
 from Barrackpore told him the important de- 
 cision about Rao Ruck a Muck, and Captain 
 Spink with the insight of a rival has de- 
 tected the cards of Mr Palmer Brown's game. 
 He went up to Sophy directly he caught sight 
 of her in the garden, and spoke to her these 
 words, which were meant to be very rude and 
 cutting. 
 
 ' How d'ye do, Miss Brabazon ? I'm 
 afraid you won't see the future Secretary to 
 Navvaubgunge to-day. I saw him rushing 
 about the club just now in a distracted state, 
 and in a splendid sky-blue tie. Bad news.
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 263 
 
 that's the cause — Your uncle's not to get 
 Nawaubgunge ! How nice your dress looks 
 to be sure ! ' 
 
 And no\A' having relieved his mind, or 
 rather his bile, for perhaps the disorder of 
 this sentimental captain was more in the liver 
 than the breast, he sips his champagne with 
 a rehsh, and a drop having fallen on his neck- 
 tie, he wipes it oiF and then becomes savage 
 once more, for that tie is of beautiful mauve 
 haberdashery. He looks grandly towards 
 Sophy, and glares at her through his eye- 
 glass, for this officer is short-sighted. 
 
 A short-sighted officer ! upon my word 
 and honour ! He has the winning trump of 
 the game unexpectedly dealt to him by for- 
 tune, and he sillily lets the queen of hearts 
 escape. Chance suddenly throws in his way 
 what he had long schemed for and desired, 
 and he cannot conquer his own vanity and 
 sulkiness. If a woman be worth the winning, 
 and a loyal manly young fellow worthy of 
 his spurs in the Governor-General's Body 
 Guard, vou would think he would ride boldly
 
 264 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 home ^vhen lie sees his rival embarrassed by 
 sordid indecision. But Captain Spink prefers 
 revenge to consolation ; and the worship of the 
 Thug, to the chivalrous devotion of an armed 
 man on horse-back. He seizes the choker (a 
 beautiful mauve one), and chokes off — his own 
 silly self. 
 
 Two other armed men, both affected with 
 the passion of love, are in that garden to-day, 
 and both of these meritoriously pursue a line 
 of conduct quite different from that adopted by 
 the petulant captain. They are generous, 
 chivalrous, and self-restrained, and yet I am 
 bound to say that each comes to great trouble 
 before the day is over. 
 
 Simpkin, after pumping very nearly every- 
 body at the picnic, at last gets the truth from 
 Captain Lemesurier himself. He hastens to 
 Miss Sophy with the news, but the Captain 
 has good-naturedly anticipated him. Sophy 
 is with Mr and Mrs Yesey and Captain Ash- 
 leigh ; she seems quite to chng to Mrs Yesey 
 now. I am sure Charley Simpkin used every 
 possible delicacy and caution. He waited
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 265 
 
 patiently until chance gave him opportunity 
 of speaking to her quite alone. He talked 
 for half an hour with Mr Vesey, and though 
 that gentleman's conversation was always 
 sensible, and his manner courteous, Crichton's 
 politeness and Sydney Smith's humour might 
 bore a young gentleman under twenty wdio is 
 kept by them from the woman he loves. At 
 last the lucky moment arrived, and he whis- 
 pered to her very kindly, 
 
 ' I have kept my promise and got you the 
 news.' 
 
 ' Oh, how tiresome you are, you stupid 
 boy!' 
 
 This reply took Mr Simpkin rather aback. 
 The young lady spoke very angrily and very 
 rudely too for that matter. 
 
 The other man at arms, a soldier of rank, 
 is quite as long-suffering and chivalric as Mr 
 Simpkin, and yet before the day is out, he is 
 destined to take a part in a very critical ad- 
 venture indeed, as you shall presently hear. 
 
 Major Pultington Belper, though much in 
 the habit of looking on matters through the
 
 266 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 medium of an honest self-satisfaction, has 
 been compelled to confess that his love affairs 
 are not progressing as favourably as he could 
 wish. The Major, as we have before said, has 
 had much experience in these tender matters, 
 and this veteran officer, if any one, should be 
 able to tell when the battle is going against 
 him. But long before the fatal paragraph 
 had appeared in the fashionable intelligence 
 of the Bengal Hurkaru, Major Pulfington 
 Belper had taken a very sombre view of his 
 sentimental prospects. 
 
 ' The devotion of the DurveesJi is the only 
 devotion understood now-a-days. Hey, hey ! ' 
 
 His sense of failure and the cause of it he 
 frankly communicated to his young friends at 
 the billiard and mess tables. He is a man 
 without any unseemly mystery and reserve, 
 and the elations, depressions, fears, and hopes 
 of his many love histories, are always described 
 as soon as they are felt. If few have suffered 
 more, few have laid claim to a wider sym- 
 pathy than Major Pulfington Belper. 
 
 And in this little love story the Major has
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 267 
 
 had bis moments of elation. Did the young 
 lady encourage him ? Some writers tell us 
 that every woman is at heart a coquette, carry- 
 ing the instinct to the grave with her, and, like 
 the kitten, commencing to worry and clutch 
 directly her eyes are open. The Major was 
 very confident at times that he was the favoured 
 suitor. And then he w ould see in her rebuffs 
 and coldness a delicious scheme to entangle 
 him still more deeply. 
 
 ' Depend upon it, Simpkin, my boy, I 
 understand them all by this time. Odd 
 enough if I did not ! ' 
 
 Mr Simpkin, on this occasion, agreed that 
 it would be odd enough if Major Pulfington 
 Belper, considering his many opportunities of 
 studying the subject, did not understand 
 them all. 
 
 ' Reading them backwards is all empirical. 
 Every woman that you Avill meet in tliis world 
 will act exactly like her neighbour, mark that ! 
 She will seem to dote on you one day, and the 
 next you'll be puzzHng your head to know what 
 mortal offence you have quite inadvertently
 
 26S OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 given her. Have you paid too much or too 
 little attention ? been too dull or too witty ? — 
 such and similar questions, if you pursue them, 
 will puzzle you till the grave gives up its secrets. 
 You have not offended her in the least, Simp- 
 kin, my boy, she is tired of petting you, which 
 is one great feminine pleasure, and she wants 
 a little row with you, which is the other great 
 feminine pleasure. One day she would pet 
 Lucifer, and the next she would quarrel with 
 Gabriel the Archangel. Now, I don't want it 
 to go any further, but a certain young lady — ' 
 
 ' An ent angler. Major ? ' 
 
 ' Yes, an elegant entangler, hey ! That 
 young lady is not very civil to me just now. 
 But I don't mind ! I am not one bit de- 
 pressed or deceived. By-and-by you'll fish 
 for the Ma/ia sk or Indian salmon ! ' 
 
 ' Yes, Major. ' 
 
 ' AVell, take my advice, first of all go to 
 some young lady and take a lesson. The true 
 principles of fly-fishing are best knowm — ' 
 
 ' By elegant entanglers ! Eh, Major? ' 
 
 And now on the day of the grand luncheon,
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 269 
 
 which I must say the poor Major did not 
 much enjoy, he is destined to be elated with 
 hope once more. Amid all the green en- 
 chantments of a delicious grove, a beautiful 
 Titana will be fascinated by him to all ap- 
 pearance, and he will not detect his long ears 
 or his bray. The camphor-cinnamon, and the 
 sandal tree, the scarlet hiitea, and the fan 
 palms of Eden, will lull his day-dream, and 
 our unwise friend will quite mistake the na- 
 ture of the paradise into which he is cast. 
 Well, well, you will laugh at him I dare say, 
 as thousands of his other friends have done 
 before you. You will ridicule his pretensions 
 to Miss Sophy, and withhold your sympathy 
 from a bosom which has been so frequently 
 prodded and punctured before. You will say 
 that his love is in himself, like the virtue of 
 lago, that it is bred of Vanity (like yours and 
 mine, dear young lady !) and has in fact little 
 to do with the shifting object that momentarily 
 arrests its transient attention. All this may 
 be true, but elation is elation, and mortifica- 
 tion, mortification, though felt under a waist
 
 270 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 which is more the waist of a Brevet Major 
 than the waist of a Captain, and 1 think there 
 are indications that one passion of the Major's 
 was less fleeting than the others. It is also 
 true that our grotesque friend must have a 
 large stock of love in his composition. How 
 is it that we laugh at the loves of old people, 
 and best like to read about them ? The present 
 century has teemed with pleasant idyls. It 
 has sympathized with Lord Lara and his 
 boisterous sighs, with Quentin Durward, and 
 several other brave and handsome young 
 Scotchmen, it has had the sad idyl of Launce- 
 lot and Guinivere, and that of Arthur Penden- 
 nis, and the Potheringay (a favourite idyl of 
 mine I am free to admit), but the idyl of Mr 
 AVeller and the Avidow has distanced them all, 
 as Uncle Toby once beat all rival lovers, 
 and lean cudgelled Quixote, and the fat 
 Knight who loved the merry wife of Windsor. 
 I wish M. Taine, or some other intelligent 
 foreigner, Avould tell us why it is that we English 
 do not very much care for the pipings of very 
 young shepherds. They bore us. Wc take
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 271 
 
 them rather as a matter of course. Perhaps 
 we are not really a poetical people, as the 
 countrymen of Lamarthie often tell us. 
 
 Sophy was walking with Captain Ashleigh 
 when Major Pulfington Belper accosted her. 
 The Captain gave Avay to the senior officer, 
 but the latter did not make much progress 
 with the young lady at first. He quoted to 
 her a description of Adam and Eve in Eden, 
 taken from Milton, and some pretty lines 
 from the Paradise and the Peri, but these 
 literary reminiscences, though highly appro- 
 priate to the locality, bored Miss Sophy Bra- 
 bazon. In company with others the Major 
 was struck with the fact that to-day it seems 
 difficult to please her. 
 
 ' Captain Ashleigh ! I am afraid I drove 
 him away ! ' The Major said this at a ven- 
 ture, and made a lucky shot. 
 
 ' Did you, Major Pulfington Belper ! ' said 
 the young lady in a careless way, which 
 seemed to leave it in doubt whether the driving 
 away of tiresome people might not sometimes 
 be a benefit.
 
 272 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 ' At Nawaubgiinge, formerly, he used to 
 be thought rather a lady's man. You know 
 what a lady's man is, Miss Brabazon ? ' 
 
 ' What ! Were you ever at Nawaub- 
 gunge ? ' said Miss Sophy, brightening up. 
 
 ' Oh yes, I was there some time ! ' 
 
 ' Nawaubgunge ! I have heard a great deal 
 about Nawaubgunge. Let me see, did you 
 know Mr Palmer Brown there ? ' 
 
 ' Yes, he was magistrate, first at ChiicJcer- 
 gotty and then came in to the station. He is 
 a great man now. The Heaven -born service, 
 you know ! ' 
 
 ' Yes, yes ; you military men are very se- 
 vere on the civilians.' 
 
 ' Oh, Miss Brabazon, you must not mis- 
 understand me. I think him a highly-talented 
 official.' 
 
 ' You also knew, then, my cousin.' 
 
 'Yes, Miss Brabazon.' 
 
 ' Did you see much of her ? ' 
 
 ' A great deal, especially before she mar- 
 ried.' 
 
 The Major's manner had become suddenly
 
 OUT or THE MESHES. 273 
 
 constrained, and this seemed odd, in this most 
 frank and commmiicative of men. Sophy had 
 heard all the odd features of his character 
 detailed over and over again. Charley Simpkin 
 kept her informed on these and similar points. 
 
 ' People say such funny things. They say 
 I am a little like her ; is that a fact ? ' 
 
 ' Very like. It struck Ashleigh. It struck 
 me. It struck the Veseys. A very remark- 
 able likeness indeed, and yet you know — ' 
 
 ' Yes, what ? ' 
 
 ' I mean, you know ; you are like in some 
 things, but not, of course, in others ! ' 
 
 ' I don't understand quite — why, of 
 course ? ' 
 
 ' Yes, I didn't mean that, for I, for one, 
 always said that the fault was not altogether 
 on one side.' 
 
 ' Fault, pray explain — what do you mean? ' 
 said Miss Sophy, with much eagerness. 
 
 ' Oh, I forgot, you didn't know,' stam- 
 mered the Major, ' I meant — that is — I didn't 
 mean anything at all ! ' 
 
 ' Major Pulfington Belper 1 ' said the young 
 
 VOL. I. 18
 
 274 OUT OP THE MESHES. 
 
 girl, quickly. ' You have said so much, that I 
 must ask you to say more. Pray tell me all 
 you know upon the subject. Every one I ask 
 looks mysterious, and will tell me nothing. 
 Tell me all, I entreat it as a favour ! ' 
 
 ' Oh, I really meant nothing ! ' said the 
 Major, whose nose was very red, and who was 
 terribly confused. ' That is, — you understand. 
 Miss Brabazon, I would tell you everything if 
 I could. I would do anything to serve you, 
 of all people, but you know there may be 
 subjects that a man is not allowed to speak 
 about.' 
 
 ' Major Pulfington Belper, I know there is 
 some secret connected with my family.' 
 
 ' Secret ! I didn't say there was any 
 secret ! ' 
 
 ' But I know there is. Pray tell it me. 
 I should be so much obliged to you ! ' 
 
 ^ I cannot,' he cried, ' I cannot say any 
 more, do not ask me ! But, this I will say, I 
 knew Ada Brabazon before her marriage, and 
 a kinder, truer, lovelier creature never walked 
 the earth. What they tell you is true, Miss
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 275 
 
 Brabazon, she was like you — the image of you 
 — I was struck with the likeness, the moment 
 I set eyes on you ! ' 
 
 It was at this moment that the Major was 
 in the middle of his fool's paradise. He had 
 never interested the young lady so much be- 
 fore. The two were walking towards the 
 boats. The party was breaking up. He is 
 shortly to awake from his day-dream with a 
 rude shock. 
 
 Poor Sophy, her cobweb fancies are also 
 being rapidly demohshed. From what she 
 has just learnt there can be little doubt that 
 Mr Palmer Brown was as much in fault as his 
 wife — if anything occurred, and from all this 
 mystery it would seem that something must 
 have occurred. The young lady feels feverish, 
 hot, oppressed. The terrible picnic has brought 
 so much that is worrying. When the mali- 
 cious Captain Spink first brought her the news, 
 she felt a choking in the throat, and thought 
 she would have dropt, but somehow when 
 Captain Lemesurier confirmed the same intelli- 
 gence, she seemed almost glad that it was
 
 276 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 true. Had two short hours swept away her 
 eternal passion ? What would Mr and Mrs 
 Vesey say? What would Dora Staidleigh 
 think of the sudden collapse of this love story? 
 That letter, with its silly superlatives, was still 
 on its way across the seas, and the man who 
 was so genuine had already vindicated his 
 solidity and truth ! Alas, if it is the lot of 
 every man to be deceived by some woman, is 
 not woman in her turn taken in by us ? Let 
 us all bear the amiable deceit with as much 
 temper as we can. 
 
 The barge of Mr Windus was at the ghaut, 
 but outside of a pinnace and a dinghy, and 
 from the deck of the latter a narrow plank was 
 thrown across to enable the passengers of the 
 barge to get on board. The Major mounted 
 this plank to help up Miss Sophy. That young 
 lady suddenly caught sight of Miss Wother- 
 spoon, her old rival, who had this time taken a 
 passage in the Sunderbunds' yacht, and with 
 her were the young Civilians and Captain Spink. 
 
 ' He has told her about the sky-blue trim- 
 mings ! ' she said to herself, and felt half
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 277 
 
 inclined to throw herself into the yellow river 
 beneath her, which seemed so calm and in- 
 viting, in spite of the stories of Mrs Yesey 
 about its treacherous currents. 
 
 And now, in an ill-advised moment, the 
 fatal Major commences to assist her up the 
 plank. He has got her firmly by the hand, 
 and they have got half way across, when in a 
 fit of extra politeness he half turns towards her, 
 and proceeding in a sidelong scraping manner, 
 suddenly misses his footing, and before he 
 can let go his hold, he and Sophy both fall 
 into the deep, yellow water, which is gliding 
 smoothly below them. 
 
 A cry of horror breaks from the deck of 
 the Golden Barge. The men shout, the ladies 
 faint, the danger from the deep river and its 
 treacherous under-current is seen by all. 
 Charley Simpkin who is at the stern of the 
 vessel seizes a rope of Indian hemp, secures 
 one end to the stern, then quickly lashes the 
 other end to his body, and jumps in. Suddenly 
 he feels a hand seize him by the leg. It is 
 the most delicious moment of his life. He
 
 278 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 will nobly revenge the young lady's coquetry 
 and unkindness. He gets his head above 
 water and shouts to Messrs ChifFney Chaffney 
 and Pelter, who are at the stern of the barge. 
 The rope is hauled up, and Mr Charles Simp- 
 kin finds that he has saved the life of Major 
 Pulfington Belper. 
 
 Meantime the decorous passengers on 
 board the Golden Budgerow have worked 
 themselves up into a terrible state of excite- 
 ment. The danger is great in the extreme. 
 Mr Welter has tried to start off the dinghy 
 which lies between the larger vessels. Five 
 active native sailors are on it watching the 
 disaster. Every native can swim like a fish, 
 but instead of now lending any aid, they con- 
 tent themselves with pious abstract ejacula- 
 tions about the goodness of Allah. The 
 calamity could not have come unless it was 
 ordained by fate, and to disturb such ordi- 
 nances is palpably wicked. Mr Welter en- 
 treats, urges, scolds, but his Hindustani is 
 not of the best. Suddenly Mr Liversege 
 comes to his assistance on this point. That
 
 OUT OF THE MESHES. 279 
 
 reserved and warm-hearted old gentleman has 
 been rushing about in a most frantic state 
 ever since the calamity occurred, and till now 
 has only succeeded in increasing the hubbub 
 and confusion. But noticing the difficulties 
 of Mr Welter, he springs on board the dinghy, 
 and the amount of fearful bad language that 
 this most cautious of civil servants now brings 
 to bear upon the apathetic black sailors is 
 amazing. He storms, he urges, he threatens, but 
 still can do little to move those aquatic fatalists. 
 All this time, upon the bank about thirty 
 or forty yards down the stream, a man was 
 standing watching the water. He was with- 
 out hat or coat, and little attention was paid 
 to him. Suddenly he plunged into the water, 
 or rather skimmed over it with short, quick 
 strokes, and after swimming a short distance 
 he dived. Many eager and anxious eyes 
 watched the circles in the water where last he 
 had disappeared. The stern of the state 
 yacht was now crowded, and the anxiety was 
 oppressive. Soon something appears again 
 on the surface of the water about five-and-
 
 280 OUT OF THE MESHES. 
 
 twenty yards further down the stream, but it 
 is difficult to make out what it is. Mr 
 Liversege, and Mr Welter, and Charley Simp- 
 kin, and Mr ChifFney ChafFney now force the 
 dinghy luallahs to pull off. They hold the 
 boatsmen down to their oars, and urge them 
 on with bad language and blows. They 
 follow the indistinct object floating upon the 
 surface of the water, and soon recognize two 
 human heads to their inexpressible joy. In 
 four minutes a young lady and a gentleman 
 are hauled up into the deck of the dinghy. 
 Captain Ashleigh had succeeded in saving 
 the life of Miss Sophy Brabazon. 
 
 Ensign Charles Simpkin had also the 
 proud feeling that on that day he had been 
 instrumental in saving the life of a fellow- 
 creature. 
 
 And yet he was not altogether satisfied. 
 
 END or VOL. I. 
 
 JOHN CHILDS AND SON, PRINTERS.
 
 UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS-URBANA 
 
 3 0112 055268756