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Rtemtexing Library
| BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
A Play in Two Parts !
AND
MARC CONNELLY
SUGGESTED BY
“Hans Sonnenstoesser’s Hohlenfahrt”
BY
GEORGE S. KAUFMAN
BY PAUL APEL
BUN WpACN Deiwid Wik Rol'G HT
PUBLISHERS :: : NEW YORK
<
Copyright, 1924, by
Boni & Livericnut, Inc.
Printed in the United States of America
“Beggar on Horseback” was produced by Win-
throp Ames at the Broadhurst Theatre in New York,
Feb. 12, 1924, with the following cast:
Dr, Albert Hice......%. RicuHarp BarBEeE
Cynthia Mason ........ Kay JOHNSON
Pre oMChae 644.008 8.53 os Routanp Youne
+ Gi ania ea Bek Grorce W. Barsier
BEE. CCOMAY (iho en owas whe Marion Batiou
Gladys Cady .......... ANNE CARPENGER
Homer Cady ........--- Oscoop PERKINS
FA oh d Cee OnE cn a PascaLn Cowan
RPE Tod's a) SCs a hi aw heete Epwin Arcus
A Business Man ....... MaxweELt SELSER
MipavEley 6 fu. stale wig os Sprinc ByineTon
MUaEAY OIL sb ale sists ae Fay WALKER
OM AYLETS) var sce te ys ewe ade Cuarues A. House
A Reporter ........-.- JAMES SUMNER
OS AL ae te Re aa Paut Witson
ATG | sete ae wes bos) s ee Waker M. Eris
A Sightseer ..........- NorMAN SWEETSER
Se CUT ip ae Bertranp O. Dotson
A Song Writer ........ CuHappELL Cory, JR.
WARP APETSE
I can’t!
CADY
You can do it by our system. You are sentenced
to be at the Cady Consolidated Art Factory at eight
o’clock tomorrow morning!
NEIL
Art factory?
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 211
CADY
At eight o’clock tomorrow morning!
[The lights slowly dim and fade out, and in-
stantly there is a burst of noise. Pianos are
playing discordantly; there is the sound of
machinery in the distance, a voice is singing a
jazz tune, and other voices are heard in loud
declamation. The lights go up again on a
tier of four cells. In the first a man is dic-
tating to a stenographer; in the second NEw
ts working away at a piano, while a youth nm
a belted coat and a straw hat, atilt on his
head, sings to the accompaniment of NEt,’s
music; in the third cell an artist works before
an easel, and in the fourth a young man ts
loudly reciting poetry, apparently moved to
do so by the posturings of two other youths
who are in the cell with him. After a mo-
ment of this pandemonium a guide enters, fol-
lowed by three visitors. All four are dancing
teachers, so far as outward appearances go,
but they are marked apart by the fact that
the guide wears an official-looking cap, and
the visitors carry umbrellas and. open Bae-
dekers. The guide raises hts voice for si-
lence; a gong sounds somewhere, and all ac-
tivity ceases. The figures in the cages come
down to the bars and stand waiting.]
212 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
GUIDE
Now this, gentlemen, is the manufacturing depart-
ment. In this studio—[he indicates the first ]—we
have Walter Carp Smith, the world’s greatest novel-
ist
NOVELIST
[ More or less routine. |
How are you?
GUIDE
[ Passing to the second cage.]
In this studio, Neil McRae, the world’s greatest
composer !
NEIL
[ Listlessly. ]
How are you?
GUIDE
[At the third cage.]
In this one, Finley Jamison, the world’s greatest
magazine artist!
ARTIST
How are you?
GUIDE
[At the fourth cage.]
And in this, James Lee Wrex, the world’s great-
est poet!
POET
How are you?
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
GUIDE
[Indicating the unseen cages beyond. ]
The studios beyond are devoted to science and re-
ligion. Mr. Cady was the first person in the world
to put religion up in ten-cent packages, selling direct
to the consumer.
FIRST VISITOR
You don’t say so!
GUIDE
He also prides himself on having the largest out-
put of literature and music in the world. He’s going
to open two more plants the first of the month.
Now, would you like to see how these men work?
FIRST VISITOR
Yes, indeed! [Goes toward the first cage.| Did
you say this was the novelist?
GUIDE
The world’s greatest. Author of more than two
thousand published works.
FIRST VISITOR
What an imagination!
GUIDE
Yes, sir, none at all. Now if you’re ready, Pll
show you how he works. Go!
214 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
NOVELIST
[Begins at once to dictate from a boon m his
hand. |
‘Something closely resembling a tear fell from the
old patrician’s cheek. ‘Margaret,’ he cried, ‘the
people of the West have learned to love you, too.’
‘Jackie boy,’ she whispered. ‘They have made you
governor after all.’ Far off on the—the—” [he
hesitates; the stenographer takes up the story.)
STENOGRAPHER
**__desert, the caravan faded away. Night took
them in its arms and a great hush fell on the forest.
99
The two lovers
GUIDE
Stop! [He turns to the visitors.| There you
are!
FIRST VISITOR
Was she writing it?
GUIDE
Oh, no! Sometimes she gets a little ahead of him,
that’s all.
FIRST VISITOR
Isn’t he wonderful!
GUIDE
Forty-five minutes after he finishes a novel we
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 215
have it printed and assembled and on its way to the
movie men.
FIRST VISITOR
May we talk to him?
GUIDE
Certainly.
FIRST VISITOR
[T'o the novelist. ]
I’ve enjoyed your novels very much.
NOVELIST
Thank you.
FIRST VISITOR
I see you’re writing a new one.
NOVELIST
Of course. JT’m under contract.
FIRST VISITOR
What’s that?
[Indicating the book in the novelist’s hand.}
NOVELIST
It’s my last one.
FIRST VISITOR
But weren’t you just dictating from it, for your
new one?
216 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
NOVELIST
Yes. They like it that way.
GUIDE
Under the old system they wrote it all new each
time. Here—let the gentleman have it as a souvenir.
FIRST VISITOR
[Reading the title.]
“Eternal Love.” What’s your new one called?
NOVELIST
“Love Eternal.”
GUIDE
Don’t forget—you’re lecturing at three o’clock at
Wanamaker’s.
SECOND VISITOR
Say, will you show us how the artist works?
GUIDE
Certainly. What will you have—a cover or an
advertisement ?
SECOND VISITOR
What’s the difference?
GUIDE
There isn’t any.
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 217
SECOND VISITOR
Well, then, I'll take an advertisement.
GUIDE
All right. Go!
[The Artist draws without looking at the can-
vas. He hands it to the guide, who hands tt
to the visitor. The canvas is blank. |
There you are!
SECOND VISITOR
What beautiful eyes!
THIRD VISITOR
Wonderful!
GUIDE
Do you want to talk to him?
SECOND VISITOR
Oh, thanks. I suppose it’ll be used on a magazine?
ARTIST
Oh, yes—thousands.
SECOND VISITOR
Must be worth five or six hundred dollars.
ARTIST
[ Bored to death. ]
Thirty-five hundred.
218 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
FIRST VISITOR
You don’t say so!
GUIDE
And here, gentlemen, is our poet. His “Jolly
Jingles” are printed in three million newspapers a
day.
FIRST VISITOR
[Pointing to the men in back.]
Who are those men?
GUIDE
Those are his models. He is the only poet in the
world who works from living models. That’s why all
his poetry is so true, so human. He’ll show you.
Go!
POET
I will now write a friendship poem. [Motions to
his models.| Friendliness No. 3, please. ‘Friend-
ship.”
[The models strike a pose, hands clasped.]
[The poet recites. ]
“Goodbye, old pal; hello, old pal; the greatest pal
I ever knew.
A dog’s your finest friend, my lad, when all the world
is blue.”
SECOND VISITOR
Ain’t it human?
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 219
GUIDE
And here, gentlemen, is Mr. Neil McRae, Amer-
ica’s foremost composer.
FIRST VISITOR
Who’s that in back?
GUIDE
That’s his lyric writer. You will now see how they
work. What kind of a song will it be, McRae?
NEIL
A pathetic. [Sits at the piano.]
GUIDE
A pathetic. Go! [Net plays.]
SINGER
[In a horrible voice. ]
“You’ve broken my heart like you broke my heart,
So why should you break it again?”
[Neit comes to the bars again.]
GUIDE
That will sell one and one-half million.
SECOND VISITOR
I suppose you write other kinds of songs, too?
220 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
NEIL
Oh, yes—mammies, sweeties and fruit songs. The
ideas are brought from the inspiration department
every hour on the hour. After I turn them into mu-
sic they are taken to the purifying department, and
then to the testing and finishing rooms, They are
then packed for shipment.
FIRST VISITOR
A wonderful system!
THIRD VISITOR
I should say so!
SECOND VISITOR
Do you work all the time?
NEIL
No, the night shift comes on at eight.
FIRST VISITOR
How long have you been here?
NEIL
For years and years.
SECOND VISITOR
Say, will you write another song for us—just as
a souvenir?
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 221
NEIL
[ Desperately. ]
Oh, why don’t you all go away?
GUIDE
What’s that? What was that? You get busy
there and write another song!
NEIL
No! I’ve been writing forever—I’m tired of it.
GUIDE
Do you want me to call Mr. Cady?
NEIL
I don’t care! I don’t care what you do!
GUIDE
I'll give you one more chance.
NEIL
No! I won’t!
GUIDE
All right, then! Mr. Cady! Mr. Cady!
[The Guide rushes out. The visitors slink
away. A gong sounds. Those in the cages
huddle in fear. Mr. Cavy appears behind
the cages. He carries a large snake whip.)
222 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
CADY
What’s the matter here?
GUIDE
McRae says he won’t go on!
CADY
He won’t, eh? Well, we'll see about that!
NEIL
I can’t go on! I’m tired!
CADY
What’s that got to do with it? You’ve got to go
on!
NEIL
I can’t, I tell you. I can’t keep on at this sort of
thing.
CADY
You know your sentence, don’t you? You’ve got
to work our way until you die.
NEIL
[ Dully. ]
Yes, I know.
CADY
We own you now. The family. The family owns
you. [He falls into rhythmic measure. ]
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 223
You take our money and you live our life,
We own you, we own you.
You take our money and you live our life,
We own you, we own you.
You take our money and you live our way,
We pay the piper and we tell him what to play.
You sold your soul and you can’t get away,
We own you, we own you.
[The Cavy family and others enter at back, and
weave back and forth joming in the chant,
reaching through the bars at Nett. ]
NEIL
Until I die! I can be free from you if I die! I
can die! You can’t keep me from it! That’s how I
can get away from you! Open the door! Open the
door!
[He shakes the door on the audience’s side of
the cage. It opens.]
It was never locked! [He steps out and closes the
door. Cyntuta enters.) Cynthia, Cynthia, I’m
free! Icandie! [Those in the background disap-
pear.| Cynthia, how are we going to do it?
CYNTHIA
We'll go to an executioner. I know a good one.
You mustn’t be afraid. It won’t hurt. [An Evecu-
224 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
tioner appears masked, with a black robe and a huge
paper knife.] See—it’s Jerry!
JERRY
Hello, Mr. McRae. [Takes off his mask and cap.]
NEIL
Oh, hello, Jerry! You’re going to do it, are you?
JERRY
Sure. [Feels the edge of his knife.]
NEIL
Oh, that’s good.
CYNTHIA
Do we have to wait long?
JERRY
No—yow’re next.
NEIL
Oughtn’t we to have a block?
CYNTHIA
[Moving the armchair. |
We'll use this. It’ll be more comfortable.
NEIL
Oh! And you'll stay with me?
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 225
CYNTHIA
Always. [She stands beside him.] But it won’t
hurt. [Atperr enters, wearing a short medical
apron and jacket.| Albert will give you a pill.
NEIL
Oh, yes! Hello, Albert!
ALBERT
Hello, Neil! Got a glass of water?
CYNTHIA
[Glass of water in hand. ]
We’re ready, Doctor. [Albert goes to the chair;
tests its strength. ]
ALBERT
[To the Executioner. |
Is the light all right? [The cabaret orchestra is
heard in the distance. |
JERRY
I think so.
NEIL
There’s that music again.
ALBERT
You’re nervous, that’s all. Here! [Neru swal-
lows a pill.| -
226 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
CYNTHIA
Now it can’t possibly hurt you.
ALBERT
[ Motions Nxiz to the chair.)
Here we are! [Net sits.] That’s it—way back.
[To Jerry.] Right?
NEIL
Shall I take off my collar?
ALBERT
Oh, no. There’s room, I think.
NEIL
Just a once-through, please.
ALBERT
Of course. It’ll be all over in a minute,
NEIL
Cynthia!
CYNTHIA
Yes.
NEIL
I was afraid you’d gone.
CYNTHIA
No, dear. [Jerry taps his knife on floor.) Are
you ready, Neil?
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 227
NEIL
Yes, except for that music. Charles the First
didn’t have any music. [The lights begin to fade.]
CYNTHIA
He’s ready, Doctor.
NEIL
Don’t go away, Cynthia!
ALBERT
All ready. [Jerry taps the knife again on the
floor. ]
NEIL
Goodbye! Tl see you soon.
CYNTHIA
Are you comfortable?
NEIL
Yes. You’ll be with me always, won’t you, Cyn-
thia? [There is darkness, save for a cloudy moving
light on Nett. ]
CYNTHIA
Always.
ALBERT
All right.
NEIL
Cynthia, are you there?
228 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
CYNTHIA
Yes, darling.
[There is a hum of voices. Presently one can
discern several chanting, “You take our
money and you lead our life.” Mrs. Cany ts
heard saying, ““Homer’s sick.’”’” Mr. Cany is
apparently telephoning somewhere. He ts
shouting, “Well, I'll tell you what to do!”
Homer’s voice repeats, “You dirty dog!”
Guapys shrilly calls out, “He’s learning to
dance!” The voices become a chant, finally
unintelligible. The lights slowly go up again.
We are back in NeEtt’s apartment. He its
asleep in his chair. It is sunset. There is a
knock, a real knock, on the door. |
A NEIL
[Half asleep. |]
Yes? [Cynruta enters. ]
CYNTHIA
Is anything the matter, Neil? I thought I heard
you talking.
NEIL
It didn’t hurt. Was it a success?
CYNTHIA
Neil, are you all right?
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 229
NEIL
[ Takes her hand.]
I need you, Cynthia!
CYNTHIA
Oh, Neil, do you? Are you sure you do? I—I
couldn’t stay away, Neil. I tried to, but I couldn’t.
Because I need you, too. I just couldn’t give you
up to anyone else on earth.
NEIL
Cynthia, dear.
CYNTHIA
It wouldn’t have worked, Neil—with those people.
Don’t you know it wouldn’t?
NEIL
I think I do.
CYNTHIA
I’ve been sitting out on a bench in the square, try-
ing to think out what it would mean—what it would
do to you.
NEIL
I know. Widgets.
CYNTHIA
That would be worse for you than any amount of
poverty.
230 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
NEIL
Poverty in our cottage.
CYNTHIA
Did you think of a cottage, too?
NEIL
Of course—lI lived there.
CYNTHIA
We could manage. I know quite a lot about rais-
ing chickens.
NEIL
[ Reminiscently. |
A little red hen and a little dun cow.
CYNTHIA
Yes, we might have a cow. Have you been think-
ing about it, too? [ Rises. ]
NEIL
Well—let’s say dreaming. [He rises and goes to
the desk.] It was terrible, Cynthia—do you know,
I dreamed I was married to her?
CYNTHIA
To Gladys?
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 231
NEIL
When I thought you didn’t care, I was hurt and
angry. And I dreamed she telephoned [Sees the
recetver off the hook.) My God! Did she telephone!
Oh, Cynthia, it’s real! I did do it! I did!
CYNTHIA
Did what?
NEIL
I did ask her to marry me!
CYNTHIA
Neil! You didn’t! And she—accepted you?
NEIL
Yes.
CYNTHIA
Oh, Neil.
[A knock at the door. Jerry puts his head in.
He wears a uniform somewhat like the one
that accompanied him through the dream. |
JERRY
It’s me, Jerry. T’ve been ringing your phone for
the last five minutes. Yeh, I thought so—you left it
off the hook again. [Nem replaces the receiver.]
The young lady that came before was waiting, so I
brought her right up.
232 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
GLADYS
[In the doorway. |]
It’s me, Neil—may I come in? [Enters.] Oh,
hello again, Miss Mason!
CYNTHIA
I—I forgot my tea things. [Half choking, she
takes up her tray of tea things. |]
GLADYS
Well, here we are. Isn’t it exciting! We’re en-
gaged.
NEIL
Yes,
GLADYS
Did you have a good nap?
NEIL
Yes, thank you.
GLADYS
[Obviously something on her mind. ]
Do you love me a lot, Neil? Enough to do me a
great big favor?
NEIL
What?
GLADYS
It’s a big one, and maybe you won’t want to do it.
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 233
NEIL
What is it?
GLADYS
Well, it’s this way. Coming back from the dress-
maker’s I met Walter Craig. I told you about him,
didn’t I? He’s a boy that sort of used to like me.
NEIL
Oh, yes.
GLADYS
Now, mind you, Neil, you can say ‘‘No” to this if
you want to, but—he said, ‘“‘What are you doing to-
night?” Now, you won’t be angry, Neil?
NEIL
No, no.
GLADYS
Well, then he said he didn’t know any other girl
in New York, and would I sort of play around with
him this week. So all I wondered was—well—you
know how a fellow is—if he thinks a girl’s engaged,
why, he won’t come near her at all. Now mind, you
don’t have to do it—and I won’t be a bit hurt if you
don’t, but what I thought was—if we could start
being engaged, say, a week from today—you wouldn’t
mind, would you, Neil? Of course, next week, after
we are engaged, we'll just go everywhere together.
234 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
NEIL
T see.
GLADYS
I know a dozen people, pretty near, that’ll give big
parties for us. It’s an awful lot of fun, being en-
gaged.
NEIL
Is it? I’m afraid I wouldn’t fit in with that sort of
thing.
GLADYS
Why, half the fun of being engaged is—well
NEIL
Gladys, just what is your idea of being engaged?
GLADYS
Why—lT’ve just been telling you. [Nett smiles. ]
What’s the matter?
NEIL
Well, it’s just that your idea of an engagement is
different from mine.
GLADYS
What +s yours?
NEIL
I think I’?d want to be somewhere alone, just the
two of us, where we could talk.
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 235
GLADYS
Talk about what?
NEIL
[With a meaning look.]
I don’t know.
GLADYS
You don’t mean you’d always be like that, do you?
I mean, when you’re married?
NEIL
I might.
GLADYS
Well, where would I come in? Do you mean you’d
expect me to sit around every evening and—just
talk? I did think you’d be willing to—play around
the way other people do.
NEIL
I see.
GLADYS
But, of course, if you wouldn’t—well—why—there
doesn’t seem to be much sense in our being engaged,
does there?
NEIL
It’s to be just as you say, Gladys.
GLADYS
Well, I don’t think we’re exactly suited to each
236 BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK
other—if you think it over. Honestly, I don’t. Do
your
NEIL
No, Gladys.
GLADYS
I noticed the difference the minute I saw Walter
again! I can kind of let myself go with Walter.
Yow’re sure you don’t think I’m a quitter?
NEIL
I think youw’re all right.
GLADYS
And we'll still be friends, won’t we? I’ve always
thought you were nice, Neil. [She gives a sigh.]
It’s a sort of a relief, isn’t it?
NEIL
Yes, it is—rather.
GLADYS
Well, goodbye. I’ve got to go because I left Wal-
ter downstairs. [She departs.]
NEIL
Oh! [Laughs. Starts to call out.]| Cyn—
[Looks across the hall, crosses to the piano and be-
gins to play the music of the pantomime. |
BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK 237
[ After a moment Crnruia comes slowly into the
room. |
CYNTHIA
[ Hesitatingly. ]
Want me, Neil?
NEIL
Do I want you? [He continues playing as he hears
her approaching. |
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