pair AMES’SERIES OF 
 
 STANDARD AM) MINOR DRAMA, 
 
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 Mo. 57. 
 
 Paddy Miles’ Boy. 
 
 {FARCE.) 
 
 
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 fc- 
 
 3 i 
 
 WITH CART OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES, ANT) EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS 
 THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMES AND 
 THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAREFULLY 
 MARKED FROM THE MOST APPROVED 
 ACTING COPY. 
 
 OF 
 
 PRICE 15 CENTS. 
 
 CLYDE, OHIO: 
 
 AMES’ PUBLISHING CO, 
 
 M. 
 
 A 
 
Digitized by the Internet Archive 
 in 2019 with funding from 
 
 University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign Alternates 
 
 https://archive.org/details/paddymilesboyiriOOpilg 
 
PADDY MILES’ BOY; 
 
 » |aw. 
 
 i 
 
 « 
 
 nr ONE ACT* 
 
 BY JAMES PILGRIM, 
 
 WITH A DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMES, CAST OF THE CHARACTERS, 
 RELATIVE POSITION OF PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, ENTRANCES 
 AND EXITS, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS.^ 
 
 ** A s performed at the principal American and English Theatres. 
 
 | 
 
 —CLYDE, OHIO!— 
 
 A* D. AMES, PUBLISHER. 
 
I 
 
 \ 
 
 PADDY MILES' EOY. 
 
 -o- 
 
 Cast of characters as 
 
 performed at Sadler Wells Theatre. 
 
 Taddy Miles . 
 
 Dr. Coates ... 
 
 . Mr. J. Pilgrim 
 
 Henry . 
 
 
 Job . 
 
 . Mr. Suter 
 
 Reuben . 
 
 Mrs. Fidget . 
 
 Jane . . 
 
 
 -x- 
 
 t 
 
 Cast of characters as performed at Terry’s Hall, Clyde, Ohio, Monday 
 
 Evening, January 1st., 1872. 
 
 Paddy Miles 
 Dr. Coates .. 
 
 Henry. 
 
 Job.. 
 
 Reuben. 
 
 Mrs. Fidget. 
 Jane. 
 
 . Vet Cooke • 
 
 .. A. D. Ames • 
 Wm. Blanchard. 
 .. W. H. Arlin. 
 _ C. E. Perry. 
 
 Mary Sweet I and. 
 .... Maud Ames. 
 
 -x- 
 
 TIME OF PERFORMANCE—FORTY-FIVE MINUTES. 
 
 -x- 
 
 Paddy Miles —Gray frieze coat, red vest, blue handkerchief, corduroy 
 breeches. 
 
 Dr. Coates —Black cut-away coat, embroidered vest, black breeches, 
 black stockings, shoes and buckles, white neckcloth, white wig, c a e. 
 
 llarry —Modern walking suit. 
 
 Job —White shirt, red vest, black velveteen breeches, green apron, hi = h« 
 low shoes, gray stockings, colored handkerchief, brown head of hair. 
 
 Reuben —Green shooting coat, white pearl buttons, plus 1 vest, dab 
 breeches, blue stockings, high-low shoes, colored cravat, countryman’s ha t 
 
 Mrs. Fidget —Old lady’s dre»a. 
 
 Jane —Walking dress. 
 
3 
 
 
 PADDY MILES’ BOY. 
 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 SCENE FIRS T. — Cottage flats 5 th grooves. Garden ivall across stage 4th grooves with C. 
 gales, practical. Set house r. 2 e. , practical door with brass plate, on it 1 Dr. Coates. Upper 
 window over door, practical , backed by interior. Set hut L. 3 E. Sign post and swing sign on 
 E. 3 E. , l Piy and Whistle .’ Enter Harry , I,. 
 
 Harry. Good heavens, it seems long ! If I could but see my dear Jane, I wouldn’t 
 care, but that cursed Mrs. Fidget, and Job the gardener, are so careful, I have no 
 chance. However, I'll run to the back gate—perchance I may see her at the window. 
 
 {Exit r. 2 E. 
 
 Enter Paddy , l. 1 e., singing, wilhbundle and, stick. 
 
 Pad. Here I am all the way from Limerick; bad luck to my ould father’s name. It 
 anything was done in Limerick, and you only asked who did it, they would be sure to 
 sav it was Paddy Miles’ boy: then I came hereto live wkI Mister Kireshovel—by my 
 sowl, it was all the same. Who broke the plates and dishes? Paddy Miles’ boy. Who 
 broke the pony’s knee? Paddy Miles’ boy. Who put the cockles on the cat’s feet? 
 Paddy Miles’ boy. Who let the dog out and killed all the cocks, hens and chickens? 
 Paddy Miles’ boy. Bad luck to Paddy Miles’ boy, says my master—I’ll kick him out 
 of the house—and he done it. And here I am, an independent gintlemen, out of placo, 
 wid one shilling in my pocket, and all through being Paddy Miles’ boy. What to do 
 I don’t know. A lucky thought has run through the top of my house—I’ll change my 
 name—I’ve heard talk of the same thing being done, but that was by paying a big sum 
 of money; faith, its come to this, I’ll take Frinch leave; so here goes; it shall be Paddy 
 O’Connor, and I’ll loot after some one to make a master of. 
 
 Enter Harry from the Doctor's shop, r. 2 e. 
 
 Young man, you seem at a loss which way to go. Are you in want of a situa- 
 
 ( aside ) How the divil did he know that? {aloud) Sure that’s the thing I do 
 
 & 
 
 c 
 
 
 O 
 
 Har. 
 tion ? 
 
 Pad. 
 
 want, 
 
 Har. 
 
 Pad. 
 
 <b 
 
 Ind* ed ! Would you have any objections to serve a doctor ? 
 
 Serve a doctor! Ha, ha, ha! By me sowl I should niver be able to take all 
 the physic he would be afther giving me. 
 
 Har. {laughing) Ha, ha, ha! My good fellow, you will have no medicine to swal¬ 
 low—merely carry it around to our customers. My father wants a lad, and by your ap¬ 
 pearance, 1 think you’ll suit Twenty pounds a year, with board and lodging—man¬ 
 age a few private’ affairs for rue, which is all that will be required. 
 
 Pad, Twenty pounds! Say it agin’—your joking. 
 
 Har. Indeed, I’m not. I repeat that you will have twenty pounds per year, board, 
 washing and lodging. 
 
 Pad. Twenty pounds a year! I’ll go home, buy Ireland and sink it; if that’s all 
 you’ll require, I’m theone for ye’s—sure I can tell a lie and kape a sacret better than 
 any l oy in the parish. 
 
 Har. Well, consider yourself engaged. But where did you live last? What’s your 
 name ? Of course you have a character. 
 
 Pad. I suppose ivery man has a character. I’ve come from Limerick—my name's 
 Paddy O’Connor, {feeling in pockets) My character is like a wild colt—it’s got into 
 some corner. ( finds it in his hat) Here it is, from my ould master, Larry O’Brallig 
 ’an Calligan McFousel. ( gives paper 
 
 Har. {reading) “Paddy Miles worked for me at the bogs of Limerick—was an hon¬ 
 est, decent boy—left on his own account—as the girls woulu be telling lieson him.” 
 
 Pad. Yes, and tickling me. 
 
 Har. {aside) So, so 1 He has had some experience with the fair sex, and will answer 
 my purpose the better; but you told me your name was Paddy O’Connor. 
 
 Pad. Thin I tould you a lie. Now I’ll teU you the trutU. Wlxeu I was at Limenck 
 the daxUu’ place—was you tver there, sir ? 
 
4 
 
 PADDY MILES’ BOY. 
 
 JTar. Never. 
 
 Pad. Thin you missed 3 big sight, I can tell you. When I was at Limerick, as I 
 said before, I was sure to be in some trouble—whatever was going astray, Paddy Miles’ 
 boy was sure to be doing it; so U keep out of scrapes, I changed my name like my sis¬ 
 ter Judy, only, ye see, she got married and I didn’t, and as I wished to be a res pec ta 
 ble member of society, and as I’mgoing to leap 1 a s > iet for you, faith, I don’t think 
 I’ll be axing such a mighty dale too much, for you to do the same for me; and wheu a 
 man is bothered, what can be so delightful as a true and confidential friend 
 
 Har. True, Paddy 1 I’ll keep your secret for you, but when you meet my father, 
 mind your P’s and Q’s. ( exit int a <loctor's shop, r 2 k. 
 
 Pad. [feeling in his pockets) Stop, sir l Mister l sir, sir 1 Bedad but he might wain 
 the character for himself. 
 
 Re-enter Harry , R. 2, a- 
 You forgot to give me baqk my character. 
 
 Har True, here it is. (exit R. 2 s. 
 
 Pad I am engaged wid twenty pounds a year, breakfast, dinner and supper, wid a 
 docthur—ir he only knew it was Paady Miles’ boy, I’d be kicked out. I’m to kape a 
 secret—that will be no aisy matter And tell a lie—that’s the rub for me. Sure I’ll 
 nivet git to LimeriCh., where paraties cost nothing, and butthermilk half the price—but 
 it’s no use thinking of the days gone by—I’ll take some whiskey punch, and drink long 
 life to the boy that brewed it—faith it reminds me of home when I was the ladies' dar¬ 
 ling. ( song and business introduced , after which exit into ‘Pig and Whistle ’ l. 3 e. 
 
 Enter Reuben , n. 1 e. 
 
 Reu . Ha, ha, ha! Well, I can’t help thinking how nicely I’ve been tricked by 
 Miles’ boy—ha, ha, ha! He must be a rum chap to be sure—went three miles for a job. 
 “Who sent you ?” said the farmer. “Why, Miles, bry,” said I. ‘'Devil take Miles’ 
 boy,” said he—ha, ha, ha! “What for?” said I. “He sent me twenty other chaps 
 about the same thing,” said he—ha, ha, ha! All the places I went, they told me the 
 same story—ha, ha, ha! Now, as I’ve been made such a fool of by Miles’ boy, I don’t 
 see why I shouldn’t make a fool of somebody else, and tell him it* was Miles’ boy—ha, 
 ha, ha! Dr. Coates lives here; I’ll tell him that Farmer Saddletree be dying — ha, ha, 
 ha ! ( knocks at door) Doctor, doctor ! 
 
 Doc. ( looks out of window ) My good fellow, what i° the matter that you bawl so loud ? 
 
 Reu. The matter be that Farmer Saddletree be taker very ill, am. wants you direct¬ 
 ly. I be sorry doctor, I can’t go with you. ( doctor leaves ivindow) It bites—he’ll go ! 
 Ho, ha, ha 1 Miles’boy. (exit r. 1 e. 
 
 Enter Dr. Coates from house , R. 2 e. 
 
 Doc. I’ll go immediately * Bless me! All the village is ill—a rare time for me this— 
 Ihave so much tc do, I don’t know which way to go first. By-the-by, I have not paid 
 my respects to Mrs. Fidget yet, confound that son of mine, here I am paying my ad¬ 
 dresses to the mother, and the young rascal is making love m the daughtei. Death and 
 the devil! I am thinking of my domestic troubles, while some of my patients are dy¬ 
 ing. I’ll be off to the farmer’s, (going n. Paddy enters from ‘Pig and Whistle' L. 3 e. 
 runs against him.) Can’t you look where you are going ? * (exit n. 1 e. 
 
 Pad. Bad luck to ye! Can’t you see yourself ? Ho, there! come back ; you have 
 eft something behind you. 
 
 Enter Doctor, L. 1 e. 
 
 Doc. What have I left behind me ? 
 
 Pad. Your manners, you spalpeen. 
 
 Doc. Go to the devil, you young scoundrel. (exit l. 1 e. 
 
 Pad , Ha, ha, ha 1 Go to the divil yourself, and niver come back again. ' Scoundrel 
 did he call me? I’m a better man than ever he was, Mr. Paddy Miies—Oh, it’s Paddy 
 O’Connery I mane. Och, murder ! If that ould fellow should be the chap I am going 
 to make my master—I’m blov n up, sunk’ and done over. I wonder what my young 
 master wants me to kape a secret from his father, and tell a lie to his mother for? I 
 have it—he is going caterwauling after the girls; I am the one for him—suremyouid 
 father always tould me I was a divil of a boy for a job in the dark. (sings 
 
 Enter Harry , from Doctor's shop , R. 2 E. 
 
 Har. Paddy, you seem in a merry humor. 
 
 Pad. How can I be otherwise when engaged by a gintleman like yourself ? As 
 aisy as you could say ‘whack/ I could jump through a brick wall. 
 
 Har. The devil you could ! But I have better sport in view. My father is paying 
 his addresses to Mrs. Fidget, who lives in yonder house, and 1 have formed an attach¬ 
 ment for her daughter, and the old folks have arranged matters so I can’t get into the 
 house. I have no chance of seeing my dear Jane—and the gardener, Job, is as spibtful 
 to me as his mistress. 
 
PADDY MILES’ BOY. 5 
 
 Pad. Spiteful is he to you ? Show him to me. my darlin. I’ll knock daylight 
 through him. 
 
 Har. No, no, my dear fellow, that won’t do—strategem is the order of the day. I 
 intend to mix a bottle of medicine by which meaus you can gaiu admittance to the 
 house and give this letter to Jane unnoticed. (g ives letlet 
 
 Pad. I’ll do it sir. Get me the physic, and show me the door, and then I’ll find 
 the house myself. 
 
 liar. I’ll get it instantly. (Exitinto shop, r. 2e. 
 
 Pad. Niver fear but I’ll get the blind side of them—pitch the blarney to the ould 
 woman and gardener—he don’t know what a boy I am for the girls. O, murder 1 how 
 they used to fight for me at Limeiick, when Judy went up like a sheaf of straw, and 
 Kitty went down li^e a sack of sand. 
 
 Reenter Harry, with bottle , R. 2 E. 
 
 Har. Here is the medicine, Paddy , pray, be careful. 
 
 Pad. Niver fear, sir ; I’ll just be understanding the thing right — the physic is foi 
 the young girl, and the letter for the ould woman ? 
 
 Har. No, no! the letter is for tlie young lady. 
 
 Pad. Very well, sir,—all right, sir,—you’re down upon that ould woman, sir. I’ll 
 do it. (Hairy exits, R. 2 E.) 
 
 (Paddy goes to the garden gate, in c., and knocks loud. Is nobody at home? Job opens 
 the gate, o. Paddy strikes him—he runs down, l.) 
 
 Job. (l.) O, you have nearly knocked the breath out of me. 
 
 Pad. (r.) Niver mind, I’ll'knock it in again. I’m the doctor, and want to go in¬ 
 to the house! 
 
 Job You the doctor, indeed ! come, that’s a good pne. 
 
 Pad• Bad luck to ye, ain’t I the doctor’s boy, wid the physic? 
 
 Job. That’s more likely, but I can’t let you in. 
 
 Pad. But I must go in ; my master tould me to. 
 
 Job. What, Dr. Coates? I wou’t believe it; besides, there is arrangements made, 
 between my mistress and your master, that no one shall enter. 
 
 Pad. Well, don’t I know that ? He has altered his mind, bekase I am his confiden¬ 
 tial servanl, and it is good news I have to tell you, my darling! 
 
 Job. Good news to tell me! What is it ? 
 
 Pad. O, be aisy a while ; it’s the best thing you iver heard of in all your life — youi 
 grandfather’s dead ! 
 
 Job. Why, my grandfather! Mr. Lumpkins, the grocer! 
 
 Pad. (Aside, laughing.) That’s his name, sure enough ! 
 
 Job. (Sings and dances.) Here’s luck for a gardner ! what, I’ll come out a swell next 
 week ; but, I say, measter, who told you so? 
 
 Pad. Who tould me so? I on my soul, it was Paddy Miles’ boy! 
 
 Job. Jolly good luck to Paddy Miles’ boy. There, you may go into the house. I’ll 
 be off to get my two hundred pounds. (Exit, singing and dancing, L. 1 k.) 
 
 Pad. (Calling.) Sec here ! come back, mister! 
 
 Reenter Job, L. 1 E. 
 
 If you get the two hundred pounds, you’ll give me a shilling. 
 
 job. Yes, to be sure I will ! (Exit, l. 1 E.) 
 
 Pad. I’m mighty sure that I wou’t get that shilling anyhow. He’s into the secret 
 with Paddy Miles’ boy, and I’ll be into Lhe house. Who’s afraid ! Ould Iielaad for< 
 
 Iver— vvhoo ! (Exit through garden gate, in C.) 
 
 SCENE SECOND. — A parlor in Mrs. Fidget's house, 1 a. 
 
 Eider Mrs. Fidget and Jane, R. 1 E. 
 
 Mrs. F. Don’t talk to me, miss. 
 
 Jane. Indeed, it’s a great shame, that a young girl like me should be kept a com 
 plete prisoner,—no one must come in or go out. 
 
 Mrs. F. It’s all for your own good. You don’t know the deceit of this world, as I do 
 There is not a gentleman in the village that I would trust, except Dr. Coates—he is i 
 moral mau of honor. 
 
 Jane. So is his son, Harry, a man of honor! 
 
 Mrs. F. It’s false 1 lie is a scapegrace, aud no more like his father, than an apple it 
 (lean oyster. 
 
 Jane. Really at your time of life, to think of marriage, it is complete folly. 
 
 Mrs. F Why, you brazen-faced—I will have you locked up in your room. [Calling. 
 Mary! Thomas! Job! Isay. 
 
 Rad, [without .] I’ll be wid you, my darling ! [Runs out l. 1 E., and returns.] 
 
 Mrs. F. P»less us, aud save us 1 where did you spring from ? 
 
 Pail. Spring from 1 Ould Lrelaand, to be sure. 
 
 Mrs F. How did you get into this house? 
 
 Pad. Why, through the gate, and through the door- [gives letter to Jane unnoticed 
 
PADDY MILES’ BOY, 
 
 
 Mrs F, But how did you come? 
 
 Pad. On the marrow-bone stage of my ten toes. 
 
 Mrs F. What do you want ? 
 
 Pad' Nothing, ma’am—I brought it myself. 
 
 Mrs F. I shall go mad if I talk to this blockhead. Jane, call the servant. 
 
 Jane. La, ma ! he must have come for something—perhaps from Dr. Coates. 
 
 Pad. To be sure 1 have. Here is a bottle of physic for the ould woman. 
 
 Mrs F. Why did you not say so at first ? 
 
 Pad. Because you niver axed me. 
 
 Jane. Don’t be angry with him ; he has just come from Ireland, and he is not used 
 to our ways. 
 
 Pad. Yes, ma’am, I came all the way from Limerick, with my own illegant self, 
 Mr. Paddy O’Connery. 
 
 Mrs F. As that is the case, I must forgive you—but how much of this medicine did 
 your master say I must take at a time ? 
 
 Pad. At a time, ma’am,— (Aside) O, murder, what will I say to her? He said, 
 ma’am, that you must— (aside) bad luck to me if I know what he said. 
 
 Mrs. F. I wish to know how to take it 
 
 Pad. Yes, ma’am—all right ma’am. 
 
 Mrs. F. You don’t unierstand me; I meau the quantity. 
 
 Pad. Yes, ma’am—that’s what he said, ma’am ! 
 
 Mrs F. Why, you’re a fool! 
 
 Pad. All right, ma’am—yes, ma’am ! 
 
 Mrs F. How can you be so stupid ; I meau how much am I to take at a time ? 
 
 Pad. Take it all at once, ma’am ! 
 
 Mrs F. What! take a quart of medicine at once ? 
 
 Jane. He means you should take a wineglassful at a time. 
 
 Pad. That’s just what I mane—take a glass full every minute—then you will f»el 
 fnnnyand frisky—take ivery drop, and after suck the cork. 
 
 Mrs F. Feel funny and frisky—take glass full every minute—I must be dreadful bad. 
 
 Pad. Yes, ma’am, you are very bad, my master tould me so! 
 
 Mrs F. My dear child, support me to my room ; I am very ill. O. Mr. Connery, 
 pray run for your master—the dear man knows my constitution so well ! 
 
 Exit, leaning on Jane, n. 1 e. 
 
 Pad. (looking after them) Yes, ma’am, you’ve got the tic-del-er-ues—ha, ha, ha! 
 The ould woman is quite bad bekase I brought her the physic. The young lady ieels 
 quite well ,bekase I brought her the letter. So help my trotters, if* the ould woman 
 takes all that physic, she’ll be after having the colly-wabbles, and it’s all through Paddy 
 Miles’boy. Somebody’s coming ; I’ll hide myself. (retires ii. 
 
 Enter Dr. Coates, in a passion, l. 1 e. 
 
 Doc. Death and the devil' I am in a galloping cosumption—sent six miles and a 
 half, and all through that Miles’boy ! Confound him ! (Paddy runs ff, l.) if I had 
 him here I’d break every bone in his body! What’s to do in the house—I don’t see 
 any one ; I’ve walked hrlf over—can’t hear any one. O, that Miles’ boy ! 
 
 Enter Jane, R. 1 e. 
 
 Jane. Good morning, Doctor ; how is Mr. Henry? 
 
 Doc. Don’t name him ! I have had a trick played upon me ! 
 
 Jane. Indeed ! Who has dared to take such liberties with you sir, ? 
 
 Doc. A rascal called Miles’ boy ! A man came to me and said that Farmer Saddle¬ 
 tree was dying , away I went, post-haste ; when I got there he was smoking his pipe ! 
 “Are vo*u not ill?” said I, ‘'Never was better in all my life,” said he. I began to curse 
 Miles’ boy ; I thought of having a good patient—my spirits drooped, like- a lump of su¬ 
 gar to the bottom of a tea cup ; but where is your ma ? I want to see her on particular 
 business. 
 
 Jane. You can’t see her ; she has had a dreadful fright. 
 
 Doc. Who has frightened her ? 
 
 Jane. Miles’ boy. 
 
 Doc. (in a passion) Curse Miles’ boy ! If I had hold of him I’d break his infernal 
 neck! 
 
 Enter Mrs. Fidget, R. 1 e. 
 
 Mrs F. My dear Doctor, what has ruffled you so ? 
 
 Doc. The same' thing that has frightened you—Miles’ boy. 
 
 Mrs F. Why, Dr. Coates, it’s yourself that scared me! sending your boy here with 
 such a horrid lot of medicine—ordering me to take a wineglassful every minute. 
 
 Doc. I sent a boy here with medicine ! My dear lady I have no boy at present. I 
 desired my son to engage one, but I know who it Is—that confounded Miles’ boy has 
 been here. Of course, you have not taken it ? 
 
 Mrs F. Yes, I have nearly taken it all! 
 
 Doc. Mercy on me ! It maybe poison for what I know! Let me see it my dear 
 Mrs Fidget! 
 
PADDY MILES’ BOY. 
 
 1 
 
 Mrs F. Run, Jane, and bring the bottle to show the doctor, {exit Jane R. 1 E.) O, my 
 dear doctor, I shall die, I know I shall. O, that cruel Mvles’ buy j ( both run about 
 
 Doc, To play suoh a trick on a lady ! the scoundrel ! the monster 1 (strilces stage 
 
 Mrs F. He ought to be sent to prison ! 
 
 Doc. I’ll send him to the devil ! 
 
 Reenter Jane, vnthbottte, R. H. 1 E. 
 
 Let me have it! {takes bottle, smells and tastes) Jalap and salts! {smells and tastes again) 
 No, no, it ain’t! ic’sonly your favorite drink—gin and molasses. O, the villain! I’ll 
 have him if he’s above ground—bills shall be printed and sent all over the country, so 
 that everybody shall know that serpent—Miles’boy ! 
 
 Enter Job, fighting himself, L. II. 1 E. 
 
 Mrs F. How dare you go from the h'ouse and let that Miles’ boy in ? 
 
 Job. What—Miles’boy here? I wish 1 could only get hold of him, that’s all! Sent 
 me to the village bank—said my grandfather was dead and left me twohundred pounds 
 —so I made up my mind to marry my dear Mary Jane ; when I got there they laughed 
 at me and said I was to go and make a fool of somebody else,»and say it was Miles’ boy. 
 
 Doc The rascal has been here and played a pretty trick on me and Mrs Fidget! 
 
 Mrs F. He has, indeed ! on that account l forgive you this time ; but if ever you let 
 anyonein the houseagain withoutmy knowledge, I’ll send you about your business! 
 Come, my dear doctor, a glass of v ine will revive your spirits. 
 
 Doe. True, my dear Mrs. Fidget! my nerves are sadly out of order, and I have 
 something of great importance to communicate, {sternly) Job, remember Miles’boy 1 
 
 {Exit with Mrs Fidget, K. 1 E. 
 
 Job. {sparring) Remember Miles’ boy ! can I forget him ? 
 
 Jane. Don’t look so angry, Job—you are not the only one that has hid a tnck play¬ 
 ed on them by Miles’ boy. Let me go to the garden gate with you ? 
 
 Job. No, I won’t ! 
 
 Jane. Do—there’s a good Job ! 
 
 Job. I won't! so take no for an answer. 
 
 Jane. You’re a cross, ill-natured, good-for-nothing fellow ! I hate you, that I do! 
 and I wish that Miles’ bov had sent you twice as far! {exit h. 1. e. 
 
 Job. No doubt of it, then you could go running about wherever you like, {starting) 
 Blow me if I don’t think thatthe fellow I let in, that said he came from Dr. Coates, was 
 Miles’boy, I’ll go and watch for him, and if 1 catch him, I’ll make Miles’boy wish 
 himself miles oil'. (exit it. 1 E 
 
 Scene III .—Same as first. 
 
 Enter Padey from gate, c. 
 
 Pad. By getting behind the water spout, the divil of a sowl seen me, that wasn’t 
 there ; it’s lucky for me that I’ve changed my name, for I’m getting into t.hedivil’s own 
 job here, as I have at ail the other places. That was the ould top that I seen into the 
 house; somebody sent him to the divil and back again, and tould him it was Paddy 
 Miles’ boy ; that poor devil of a gardener won’t be at all pleased with the two hundred 
 pounds he’ll get over the left. Upon my sowl, this is a strange family—here is the onld 
 top in love wid de ould woman, and the young top in love wid the ould woman’s daugh¬ 
 ter,—there’ll be the divil to pay, and no pitch hot ; anl it strikes me foicibly that Mr. 
 Harry wants to bolt the moon wid Miss Jane, and i wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’d 
 lave a letter behind and say it was Miles’ boy. 
 
 Enter Harry from shoj>; r. 2 E. 
 
 liar. 'Well, Faddy, my good fellow, I have another job for you ; a distant relation of 
 mine has died and left me five thousand pounds, and my father one shilling—they 
 quarreled some time ago, which caused the turn in my favor—now you manage to get 
 Jane out of the house, and twenty pounds shall be your reward. 
 
 Pad. I’ll do it, my darling; did you say twenty pounds? Sure I’ll do it for twice 
 as much—only give me ashillelah, and I’ll down wid the house 
 
 Har. No, no, Paddy, force won’t do. I am going to try a stratagem—I have a female 
 dress—I’ll go and fetch it. (exit into shop 
 
 Pad. Am I aslapeor awake ? He’s going to make a woman of me, Paddy Miles’ boy 
 —I’m sure to get out of the frying pan into the fire. 
 
 Reenter Harry, with dress. 
 
 Har. Now here is the dress, Paddy ! 
 
 Pad. O, botheration, man 1 I can’t be a woman, sure—my father never intended 
 me for one ! 
 
 Har. But, my dearfelllow, consider the twenty pounds. 
 
PADDY MILES’ BOY. 
 
 Pad. O, be >vlsy. Sure you know that money stops a bigger man’s mouth than Pad¬ 
 dy Miles’ boy. (puts on dress) I’m off before you can clap salt on me tail—whoo !—my 
 name is Judy O’Flaherty. 
 
 Mar. (gives letter) Stop, and I’ll give you an idea how to walk like a young lady. 
 Paddy walks after him very awkwardly—business with walking until Harry goes off r. 2 E. 
 Paddy exits through garden gate, c. 
 
 Scene IY.— Mrs. Fidget's parlor, 1 a. 
 
 Enter Dr. Coates and Mrs. Fidget h.Ie, 
 
 Doc. Enough, my dear Mrs. Fidget ; to-morrow’s sun shall make you Mrs. Doctor 
 Coates. I’ll order a band of music, in fact, make every airangement before I sleep to¬ 
 night. My son, Harry, l'il tend to London, to prevent any trouble with him. 
 
 Mrs. F. And T'll se d Jane to her aunt’s, so we shant be bothered with her. 
 
 Doc. To-morrow will be the happiest day of n y life—and we m ill have a nun day of 
 it. I’ll dance and sing- 
 
 Fn '< r Jane L 1 e, 
 
 jane. O, my, theie’s Mob and a woman fighting in the garden—she says she comes 
 here for a situation, and will come in. 
 
 Mrs. F. I want no servants. Who sent lnr, I should like to know ? 
 
 Jane. Miles’ boy. 
 
 Doc. Curse Miles’boy! that villain will be the death of me. (noise n.— looks off—a 
 crash) 0, dear, they are fighting on the stair ; should they fall it break both their necks. 
 
 Pad. (without) Bad luck to you! let go your hould 
 
 Job. (without) Murder, murder ! ’ {crash, noise of falling down stairs, L. 
 
 Doc. By the Lord Harry, she has knocked Job down stairs. 
 
 j 
 
 Enter Paddy l.Ie. disguised with woman s dress. 
 
 Pad. Long life to you ! may you niver die ragged. You’re the ould woman I’m go¬ 
 ing to make me mistress. 
 
 Mrs. F. My good woman, there ¥ no servants wanted here. 
 
 Pad. Now don’t be tellihg any lies ; I know you do. Paddy Miles’ boy lold me so— 
 faith, he’s a countryman of mine, and wouldn’t be after playing any tricks on a poor 
 ouJo woman like me. (gives letter to Jane, unnoticed. ~ Exit Jane L. 1 e. 
 
 hoc. (aside) Yery lady-like, upon my word. That Miles’ boy plays tricks upon every 
 body—myself—and this lady ; ind el, I may say the whole country round is suffering 
 through his mischief. 
 
 Mrs F. Indeed, doctor, you might say the whole world. We are very sorry for you, 
 but we want no servant. 
 
 Pad. I won’t belave It, you ould catermollin ; nor I won’t belave you, old cadger, 
 nather—and I’ll break your nose, if you tell me so again. 
 
 Doc. (aside) Confound that Miles’ boy, for sending such a woman here. 
 
 Enter Job l. 1 e. Pcd lyjstrikes him as he enters—his nose bleeds, 
 
 Job. Oh, my nose ! ( bleeding, runs to r. 
 
 Pad. Divil fly away wid thereof of your nose. You didn’t behave like a man should 
 to a woman. 
 
 Doc. My good woman, don’t talk so. Miles’ boy playing a trick on you, is no fault 
 of ours. Here’s a shilling—now leave the house. ' " * (gives money 
 
 Pad. Jolly good luck to you, ould tin pot. You’re a trump. Stop till 1 get hould 
 of the vagabone—I’ll pitch into him like a hot dinner. I’ll just show you how I’ll put 
 it into him right and left. (sparring at doctor 
 
 Doc. No, thank you. I’d rather be excused. 
 
 Job. That’s all sue thinks about. Oh, my nose! 
 
 Pad. I’ll give you a toper for luck, my darling. 
 
 Mrs F. Goodness gracious! I am quite shocked. Put it into Dr. Coates right and 
 left, and give Job a toper for luck. You are a disgrace to your sex—leave the house, or 
 Job shall put you out. 
 
 Job No, not me—get somebody else. 
 
 Pad. It’s to me your spaking? Job put mo out! I’d beat dozen like him ; and as 
 you my ould tabby, if you were not a woman I’d give ye jist such a lift as Molly did the 
 cat. 
 
 Doc. Come, come; this is too baL I’ll put up with it no longer. I’ll send for a con¬ 
 stable and have you put in the lockup—see what a magistrate would say to such conduct.. 
 
 Pad. I’ll save you the trouble; but I’ll have a slap at Mister Job before I go. 
 
 Job. No, you don’t. 
 
 Pad. Stop till I put this money in me pocket. 
 
 Lifts up dress to put away money , and his man's dress is diccovcred. 
 
 Omnes. It’s a man ! It’s a man ! 
 
 Pad. Och, murther ! What will I do ? I’ll give ’em leg bail. (Punsoff l. 1 e. 
 
 Job. I’ll swear that’s Mile’s boy. 
 
PADDY MILES’ BOY. 
 
 Doc. No doubt of it. Come, Mrs. Fidget, we’ll raise the neighbors and have the 
 scamp put in the stocks,—follow us Job. {Exit Dr. and Mrs, Fidget, l. 1 e. 
 
 ob. It’s all very well to say follow us, Job. I think I’ve had enough of Miles boy a 
 physic, which my nose can testify. I shan’t be in a hurry to get another dig from him. 
 
 Noise of dogs barking at back. Ft it Job, l. 1 E. 
 
 I know him by liia 
 
 Scene V. — Same as first—Noise of dogs continued. 
 
 Enter Paddy from gate in c. 
 
 Pad. {undressing himself quickly) I forgot that I was a woman ; however, they are 
 coming, and I must face it out. 
 
 Enter Dr. Coates, Mrs. Fidget and Job from gale, c. 
 
 Doc. Young man, have you seen a woman running this way ? 
 
 Mrs. F. A man dressed in woman’s clothes ! 
 
 Pad. Faith, I did It was that dirty blackguard. Miles’ boy. 
 
 Job. Don’t mind him, what he says ; he is Miles’ boy himself, 
 turn-up nose. . , . ... 
 
 Pad. Know me by my turn-up nose ! I’ll give it to you, me darling. {runs at him. 
 
 Enter Reuben, R. 1 E. 
 
 Reu. Ah, Mr. Paddy, you’ve been going it again ! 
 
 Doc. You know him, then ? 
 
 Reu. I thought evervbody knew Miles’ boy ! 
 
 Doc. Miles’ boy ! Curse me, if I havn’t got you now. 
 
 Pad. Och, murther ! it’s all a mistake. 
 
 Doc. I’ll mistake you ! ( calling) Harry, Harry, I say ! 
 
 Reu. Your son Harry, doctor, has just been married to a Miss Fidget, at yonder 
 church. 
 
 Doc. My son married ? It’s false. 
 
 Fad, By me sowl, it s true enough, for here they come. 
 
 Enter Harry and Jane , R. 1 E. 
 
 Har. and Jane. ( kneeling) W e crave your blessing. 
 
 Doc. The devil! This is worse than being played a trick upon by Miles’ boy. 
 
 Pad. You may well say that. Mr. Harry has got a wife and five thousand pounds— 
 fou have a shilling and no wife. Paday Miles don’t care a dump for you, 
 
 Doc. Here’s a pretty go ; but what’s done can’t be undone. 
 
 Mrs. F. True, doctor ; and as Harry has five thousand pounds, I think we had bet¬ 
 ter forgive them. ... 
 
 Doc. I think so too. There, bless you both, and may you be happv ; and as tor you, 
 Mr. Paddy_ {Harry and Jane rise. 
 
 Har. Pray, forgive him, father; you know the old one is not so black as he is paint¬ 
 ed. 
 
 Jane. And lie’s a clever post-man. 
 
 Doc. Well, the odds are against me. I suppose I must forgive—but no more right and 
 left. 
 
 Pad. Niver fear, sir, only pardon me this time and I’ll nivtr do so agin. 
 
 Har. Paddy shall remain in our service, and we will be as happy as the days are 
 
 l01 patZ. By me sowl, you’ve had it all your own way, {to audience) But I am sure 
 there’s one thing wanted to make us all happy; and with your kind permission. I’ll 
 solicit our friends here to bestow their blessing upon Paddy Miles, the Limerick boy 
 
 Jane. 
 
 Reuben. 
 
 Harry. 
 
 Paddy. 
 
 Mrs. Fidget. 
 
 Dr Coates. 
 
 Job. 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
 j 
 
&-NEW PLAYS.fe#^ 
 
 Fifteen Cents Facli Unless Otherwise Marked. 
 
 Around the Horn. 
 
 A Farce-Comedy in 4 acts. 4 male, 2 female characters 
 An ocean trip from San Francisco to New York 
 causes an immense amount of fun. 
 
 --x—- 
 
 COST TIMES—MODERN. 
 
 TIME OF FLAYING— TWO HOURS. 
 
 ■x- 
 
 SYNOPSIS. 
 
 ACT I.—Scene 1st. Cabin of the ocean steamer Mary Jane—Passengers coming on 
 board—Peter and Peleg meet—Isabel and Captain—Peleg and his Billow—a patent pin¬ 
 cushion—Isabel’s trouble—“’Let’s be gay and happy still”—Peter gives his first ex¬ 
 perience on board of a ship—“I never vas so sick in mine life”—Kate, Isabel and 
 the Captain—Peleg and Kate—Peleg kisses the cook—how she accepted his advances 
 —“Mine Got in Ilimmel, I finds me somedings in mine room”—Hanibal, the darkey 
 —a general ruption—“Hi gollyl see ’em.” 
 
 ACT II.—Scene 1st, Isabel and the Captain—Peleg afraid he is in the way—it 
 reminds him of the time he went sparking Sail—Kate and Peleg—Hanibal comes in- 
 disgust of Peleg—“’dere nefer was a posey flowermitoudt stickers”-Pelcg and Peter sea 
 sick—Hanibal interrupts love scene between Peleg and Kate. 
 
 ACT III.—Scene 1st. Hanibal and Peter—'“Oh! father, you signed my death war¬ 
 rant when you signed your will”—Peter relates his courting experience—Peleg in love— 
 Peter’s advice to the Captain—Peleg jealous of Peter. 
 
 ACT IV.—Isabel tells the Captain the conditions of her father’s will—The Cap¬ 
 tain’s declaration—“I must obey my father!”—The quarrel between Peter and Peleg, 
 in which Hanibal appears—“Glory mit der stars und stripes and the American 
 eagle—and de cullud population”-Kate and the Captain—Kate tells a secret—Captain’s 
 despair—Kate endeavors to make Peleg propose, in which she succeeds as Hanibal ap¬ 
 pears—Peter’s opinion of mudder-by-laws—Isabelle tells the Captain she is to marry 
 Peter Polstine—Peter—“Dot vas me”—the despair of Isabelle when she discovers who 
 Peter is—Peter refuses to marry Isabelle, for my wife’s name will be Katrina—mine 
 little Shermany gal—Isabelle accepts the Captain—Kate and Peleg—matrimony—• 
 double wedding when the Mary Jane reaches port. PRICE 25 CENTS. 
 
The General Manager; 
 
 -- OR, -- 
 
 A Shot From the Kitchen Range. 
 
 -jr 
 
 A Musical Farce-Comedy in 3 acts by Walter J. Echols . 
 5 male, 5 female characters. Time 2 hours. 
 Costumes Modern. 
 
 Kitchen at Mr. Swelson’s—Babette and Simon, servants of Mr. Swelson—arrival of 
 Steele, Jack, Sally and Polly, servants of Mr. Green and others—invitation to the ball— 
 servants opinion of their masters—Smon can’t stand it much longer—Jack’s version of 
 how he manages Mr. Green—“If they have no vices make them one”—“Our masters 
 just what we make them”—Mr. Swelson and Babette—Song, “That Little Black Mus¬ 
 tache”—Catherine in love with her music teacher—Mrs. Swelson indignant—Babette, 
 “there’s trouble in the air”—Mrs. Swelson refuses Babette’s request—“My poor sick 
 aunt”—Mrs. Swelson need’s of $100—Mr, Swelson invites Mr. Green to dinner to intro¬ 
 duce him to Catharine—Simon—“Now for a vice for master”—A black-eyed girl at the 
 glove store—Mr. Swelson’s nibbles the hook—“She’s always inquiring about you”— 
 Swelson delighted and is on the hook solid—“I’m solid for the ball to-night”—Ila, ha! 
 they can’t resist us old boys—Mrs. Swelson’s trouble—“I can’t ask Mr. Swelson for the 
 money”—Babette lends Mrs. Swel-on the money—“I think I shall go to the ball.” 
 
 ACT II—Scene 1st. Diningroom—Mr. Wise and Catherine—Mrs. Swelson inter- 
 uptsa love scene—Swelson makes a confident of Simon, in which the pretty girl figures 
 —Catharine’s despair—the bub-bub—bubbles of a bursting heart—Babette airs her 
 opinions—Wise and Babette—Jack furious—Servants decide Catherine shall marry 
 Wise and not Green—Babette’s friends—the dinner—Jack locks Green’s clothes up 
 so he cannot attend dinner—Babette gives Green away—“murdered his tailor!”—Swel¬ 
 son’s joy that Green is detained at home—We’ll go to the opera—Swelson hides in the 
 cupboard—discovered. 
 
 ACT III.—Servants entertain in the absence of Mr. and Mrs. Swelson—Wise is the 
 orchestra—quadrille—return of the Swelson’s—Wise by mistake in Catherine’s room— 
 the letter discovered—Catherine’s determination—entrance of Wise—Green bankrupt— 
 “Mr. Wise shall marry Catharine—I’ll make him”—Catherine’s romance happily ended 
 —Servant’s forgiven—Mr. Swelson’s opinion is that there is no shot like a hot one from 
 the kitchen range, when fired at the target of our weaknesses. Price 15 Cents 
 
 Jacob Shlafifs Mistake. 
 
 A Farce in 1 Act, by J. E. Crary, for 3 male and 2 
 female characters. A capital farce with a good Dutch 
 character in it. An old man, a modern dude, a fussy old 
 maid, and a girl of the period make up the rest of the cast. 
 Costumes to suit characters. Time of performance 20 
 minutes. Price 15 Cents. 
 
 A KISS IN THE DARK. 
 
 A Farce in 1 Act, by John Baldwin Buckstone, for 2 
 male and 3 female characters. This piece is immense and 
 will make a good after-piece. Costumes modern. Time 
 of performance 1 hour . Price 15 Cents . 
 
 U* OF ILL UB» 
 
GRANDMOTHER 
 Hildebrand’s Legacy. 
 
 v 
 
 A Drama in 5 Acts, by C. A. Lamson , for 11 male 
 and 8 female characters—doubles in cast so as to play 
 ivith 5 males and 4 females. This piece is just the thing 
 for amateurs. Has two beautiful tableaux. Costumes 
 modern. Time of performance two hours. 
 
 SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS. 
 
 ACT I.—A Vermont home. The birth-day party. Betsy Ann 
 “ flirts.” Grandmother Hildebrand’s arrival. “ Git out. you sass- 
 box! ” The city guest. The dance. Grandmother has the “crick” 
 in the back. i 
 
 ACT II.—A mortgaged home. The blind father. Family prayers. 
 Mae’s resolution. Appeal for her lover. “A woman’s honor is 
 her life.” Parting between Mrs. Blosson and Mae. 
 
 ACT III.—New York street scene. Pat’s breakfast. Interview 
 between Mrs. Pierson and Isabel. Mrs. Pierson denies her own 
 child. The new housekeeper. Her meeting with George. Pat 
 watches the “Ould Tabby.” Mrs. Landon’s discovery. Mrs. Pier¬ 
 son as a “somnambulist.” Her secret. “Mrs. Jack Crawford, your 
 sin has found you out.” United at last. Tableau—“The Golden 
 Chain.” 
 
 ACT IV. The return home. Mae’s plan. Isabel’s return. For¬ 
 giveness. Meeting between father and daughter. The scare. “Who 
 am de villan ? ” Pat’s stick comes down. The midnight robber. 
 Isabel’s • warning. The uplifted dagger. Jack Thorne. “Once 
 more I will save her.” Mrs. Piersons insanity and death. 
 
 ACT V.—Farmer Blossom’s farm. Mae’s return. The same old 
 hymn: “Dennis.” The blind see. Sam and’Lindy court. “Bean 
 porridgehot.” Arrival of grandmother. “Y'ou’ve grow’d’mazingly.” 
 The dance. Farmer Blossom’s invitation. Tableau—“Love rules 
 the world.” Price 25 Cents. 
 
 OUR HOPEFUL SON. 
 
 A Farce in 1 Act, by C. F. Ingraham, for 3 male and £ 
 female characters. A capital after-piece which goes 
 well—every part funny. Costumes to suit characters . 
 Time in playing, 15 minutes. Price 15 Cents , 
 
 
 
Every Amateur wants a copy, and shout J 
 
 order at once. 
 
 BY A. D. AMES. 
 
 A book of useful information for Amateurs and others, written ex¬ 
 pressly for those who are giving public entertainments and 
 who wish to make their efforts successful—containing 
 
 much information never before given. Mr. Ames 
 has had many years experience, and in 
 
 this work gives many hints which 
 cannot fail to be of great 
 benefit to all. 
 
 Do you wish to know How to act ? 
 
 Do you wish to know How to make up? 
 
 Do you wdsh to know How to make fuses? 
 
 Do you wish to know How to be prompted ? 
 
 Do you wish to know How to imitate clouds? 
 
 Do you wish to know How to imitate waves? 
 Do you wish to know How to make thunder ? 
 
 Do you wish to know flow to produce snow ? 
 
 Do you wish to know How to articulate? 
 
 ~Do you wish to know How to make lightning? 
 
 Do you wish to know How to produce a crash? 
 
 Do you wish to know How to make a wind-storm ? 
 
 Do you wish to know How to be successful on the stage? 
 
 Do you wish to know The etfects of the drama on the mind? 
 Do you wish to know How to assign parts successfully? 
 
 Do you wish to know The duties of the property man ? 
 
 Do you wish to know How ot arrange music for plays? 
 
 Do you wish to know Many hints about the stage? 
 
 Do you wish to know How to form a dramatic club 9 
 Do you wish to know The duty of the prompter? 
 
 Do you wish to know How to conduct rehearsals? 
 
 Do you wish to know The best method for studying? 
 
 Do you wish to know How to make a stage laugh ? 
 
 Do you wish to know How to burn a colored fire? 
 Do you wish to know llow to make a rain storm? 
 
 Do you wish to know A short history of the drama? 
 
 Do you wish to know All about scene painting? 
 
 Do you wish to know Maoready’s method for acting? 
 
 If you wish to know the above, read Hints to Amateurs, it will be 
 J sent you for 15 cents per copy. 
 
« 
 
 FOUND AT LAST! 
 
 A Pocket Speller, 
 Dictionary, and 
 Memorandum 
 Book Combined. 
 
 A Concise Description of 
 
 Thompson’s Pocket Speller. 
 
 It gives the right orthography of all words, (over 22,800) in common use, and in near¬ 
 ly eveiy instance their definition. It also gives the right orthography of the given 
 names of men and women, rules for the use of capitals and punctuation marks,abbrevia- 
 tionsof names of states and territories, letters of introduction and recommendation, - 
 definition of commercial terms, forms of notes, due bills, receipts, letters of credit, orders 
 for money, merchandise and goods stored, principal holidays, marriage anniversaries, 
 combina 1 ion of shades, and carefully selected laws of etiquette in social and business 
 life, also a silicate slate for memorandums. 
 
 The Speller is bound in leather and indexed, and is of convenient size to be carried 
 in vest pocket. 
 
 Reasons why this Speller and Dictionary is the most desirable 
 book of its kind, and some of the many advantages it has 
 over all others. 
 
 1. It. gives the most complete list of words in common use. 
 
 2. It is a Speller, Dictionary, handy companion and memorandum book combined. 
 
 3. It is the only book of the kind that can be conveniently carried in the vest pocket 
 being the regular size of mmeorandum books made for that purpose, 
 
 4. It is the omy book of its kind that is, indexed, 
 
 5. It is the only book of its kind that prints all words pronounced alike but spelled 
 differently, so they can be distinguished at a glance. 
 
 6. It is the only book of its kind that gives the right orthography of the given names 
 of men and women. 
 
 7. It is the only book of its kind that show where the letter E at the end of a word 
 is to be dropped when adding ed or ing. 
 
 8. It is the only book of its kind that gives a complete list of the most practical 
 business forms. 
 
 9. It is the only book of its kind that gives the laws of etiquette in social and busi¬ 
 ness life; these rules alone are worth the price of Speller. 
 
 10. This Speller is bound in two qualities of leather and its price brings it within the 
 reach of all, being 50 cents, bound with American Russia leather, Gilt edge and in¬ 
 dexed. Bound with imitation Seal, red edge and not indexed, 25 cents. On recoipt of 
 Post Office Order, (for quality desired) the Speller will be prepaid to any address, 
 
 Ames’ Publishing Co., 
 
 Lock Box 152, CLYDE, OHIO. 
 
THEATRICAL 
 
 -AND- 
 
 Fancy Costume Wigs. 
 
 Attention is called to tliis last of WIGS, BEARDS, MUS¬ 
 TACHES, WHISKERS, Ae. 
 
 We employ a Wig-maker especially to manfuacture goods for 
 our trade, and can guarantee satisfaction. All 
 goods made under our personal supervision. 
 
 In ordering be careful to state every particular, t. e., size, color, etc. Any wig for 
 special character or occasion can be made to order. 
 
 White Old Man.$4 50 
 
 Iron Gray. 4 50 
 
 Yankee. 4 50 
 
 Irish. 4 50 
 
 Crop, (all oolors). 5 50 
 
 Fright. 4 00 
 
 Negro. 1 00 
 
 Dress Scalp, with parting. $5 00 
 
 Scalps. 2 75 
 
 Gentlemanly Irish, with parting..— 5 00 
 
 Bald Wigs, grey or white,. 4 50 
 
 Rip Van Winkle.4 50 
 
 Grey Dress Wig, with parting,. 4 50 
 
 White “ “ “ “ . 4 50 
 
 “ (white old man). 1 50 
 
 Clowns, in colors,. 4 50 
 
 “ (gray old man). 1 50 
 
 [with top knot]-. 1 50 
 
 ‘‘ wench].5 00 
 
 Sir Peter Teazle. 5 00 
 
 Shylock.- 4 50 
 
 Court Wig with Bag. 4 50 
 
 Court wig with Tie. 4 50 
 
 Paul Pry.-.- 4 50 
 
 Dundreary. 5 50 
 
 Light Dress Wig, with parting,. 5 50 
 
 Rough Irishman.4 00 
 
 Plantaloon, Wig and Beard,. 5 00 
 
 Robinson Crusoe. 4 50 
 
 Monk. 4 00 
 
 Box and Cox, 2 Wigs ; each Wig.3 50 
 
 Chinaman, with Pigtail,. 5 00 
 
 Dress Wig. superior.5 00 
 
 Red and Brown bald Wigs. 4 50 
 
 —-ladies. — 
 
 Court Wig.$6 50 
 
 Grand Dutchess.6 50 
 
 Lady Teazle. 7 00 
 
 Flaxen Country Boy.3 50 
 
 Physician or Lnwyer—white. 5 00 
 
 Dress Wig with Eyebr’ws&Whisk'rs 5 50 
 
 Dress, without parting. 4 00 
 
 Duplex ; can be worn either as male 
 or female Wig ; very convenient; 
 
 in reality, 2 Wigs in one. 6 00 
 
 Flow Wigs, long hair, suitable for 
 most Shakesperian characters. 
 
 Fairy Plays, Ac.5 50 
 
 Comic Old Woman’s From 
 
 Marie Antonette. r . 7 50 
 
 Mother-in-Law. 5 50 
 
 Female, plain long hair, so that lady 
 can do up as she wishes, a really 
 
 fine wig.10 00 
 
 Nigger Crape Masks, a sub t tute for 
 
 blacking the face. 2 00 
 
 Ladies’ Wig, blonds, hgh and dark, 
 brown and black, made up in 
 
 present fashion. 6 00 
 
 Piece.$2.50. 
 
 BEARDS, WHISKERS, MUSTACHES, Ac. 
 
 Bide Whiskers & Mustache on wire....$l 25 
 
 Bide Whiskers and Mustache on 
 
 wire, superior. 1 50 
 
 Side Whiskers, no Mustache, wire... 1 00 
 Side Whiskers and Mustache, gauze 2 00 
 Bide Whiskers and Mustache, on 
 
 gauze, superior,. 2 25 
 
 Bide Whiskers, without Mustache, 
 
 on gauze,.1 50 
 
 Bide Whiskers, without Mustache 
 
 > on gauze, superior.1 75 
 
 Full Beard. 1 75 
 
 Full Beard, superior,. 2 00 
 
 Full Beard without Mustache.$1 50 
 
 Full Beard, no Mustache superior... 1 75 
 Mustache and Chin Beard, combined 2 00 
 
 Imperials. 30 
 
 Full Chin Beard.1 25 
 
 Mustaches on wire. 35 
 
 “ gauze. 40 
 
 CRAPE HAIR — Fob making False 
 Whiskers, Mustaches, Ac. 
 
 Colors: Black, White, Light Brown, 
 Dark Brown, Iron-grey and Red. 
 Price, per yard... 25 
 
 THE AMES PUBLISHING CO., 
 
 .LOOK BOX 168 - CLYDE, OHIO. 
 
ARTICLES NEEDED BY AMATEURS. 
 
 MAKE YOUR OWN WIGS, BEARDS, MUSTACHES, Etc. 
 PREPARED WOOL IN ALL COLORS. Per oz., 50c. 
 
 TABLEAUX LIGHTS. Our Tableaux Lights are very easily used and are of 
 the best manufacture. Plainest directions accompany each. \Ve have the following 
 colors: Red, Green, Blue, and White. Price each, 25 cents. 
 
 COLORED FIRE IN BULK. Put up in one-half pound packages. Price 
 
 per pound. SI.75: per half pound. Si.OH. 
 
 , MAGNESIUM TABEAUX LIGHTS. A metal capable of being ignited 
 
 by a common match, and burning with great brilliancy. This is the best light for 
 moonlight and statuary. Price per package, 50 cents: per dozen, S2.50. 
 
 LIGHTNING FOR PRIVATE THEATRICALS. We will send a 
 
 FLASH BOX and material for this purpose, with full printed directions for their use, 
 to any address, for 50 cents. The effect produced by it will be found all that can be 
 desired. 
 
 BLUE. For unshaven faces. This is very necessary in low comedy characters. Price 
 
 per box, 25 cents. 
 
 PREPARED BURNT CORK. For Negro minstrels. This article we can 
 recommend, as it can be taken off as easily as put on; in which it differs from most all 
 others manufactured. Enough for 25 performances in each box. Price per box, 40 cents. 
 
 COCOA BUTTER. . This article is necessary to every lady or gentleman wheth¬ 
 er on the stage or in private life, as it smoothes the skin and keeps it from chapping. It 
 is a very handy means of removing the make-up, as a piece of Cocoa Butter passed over 
 the face will loosen all adheasive matter so thoroughly as to admit of being wiped off 
 the face at once and completely. Should be used before making up. Price, 25 cents. 
 
 CARMINE. For the face, and to heighten the effect of Burnt Cork in Negro 
 characters. Price per box, 30 cents. 
 
 PREPARED DUTCH PINK. For pale, sallow, and wan complexions. 
 
 Price per box, 25 cents. 
 
 CHROME. For sallow complexions, also for lightening the eyebrows, mustaches, 
 etc. Price per box, 25 cents. 
 
 EMAIL NOIR. To stop out teeth for old men characters, witches, eto. 
 
 p r ice 4-0 cents. 
 
 PREPARED FULLER’S EARTH. To powder the face before*‘making 
 
 up.” Price, 30 cents. 
 
 JOINING PASTE, For joining bald fronts of wigs to forehead. Price per stick, 
 15 cents. 
 
 MASCARO. or WATER COSMETIQUE. For darkening the eye¬ 
 brows and mustaches, without greasing them, and making them prominent. Brown or 
 black, 60 cents. » 
 
 MONGOLIAN. For Indians, Mulattoes, etc. Price per box, 30 cents. 
 PASTE POWDER. To enlarge the shape of the nose for low comedy char¬ 
 acters, etc. Price per box, 30 cents. 
 
 PREPARED NOSE PUTTY. Used for the same purpose as Paste Powder 
 and used in the same way. Price, 25 cents. 
 
 RUDDY ROUGE. For sunburnt faces. Most essential for^low comedy, 
 country or seaman’s character. Price per box, 30 cents. 
 
 SPIRIT GUM. The best in use, prepared expressly for securing mustaches, etc. 
 Price, 25 cents. » 
 
 SKIN MUSTACHE MASKS. For hiding the mustache in powder costume 
 pieces, negress characters, etc. Price, 15 cents. 
 
 PO WDERED ANTIMONY. For shading the hollows of the eyes. Price per 
 box 30 cents a 
 
 PREPARED WHITING. For Pantomimes, Clown’s Faces, Statuary, eto. 
 Price per box, 25 cents.__ 
 
 No. 
 
 tt 
 
 CREAM STICK PAINTS. 
 
 1— Very Light Flesh Color. No. 10 —Sallow, for old age. 
 
 For Juvenile 
 Heroes. 
 
 2— Deeper Tint Flesh Color. 
 
 3— Natural Flesh, 
 
 4— Rose Tint, 
 
 5— Deeper Shade,. 
 
 6— Healthy Sunburnt. 
 
 7— Healthy Sunburnt, deeper shade. 
 
 8— Sallow, for young men. 
 
 9— Healthy Color, for middle age. 
 
 
 tt 
 
 u 
 tt 
 t. 
 tt 
 tt 
 tt 
 
 tt 
 tt 
 
 1— Ruddy. 
 
 2— Olive, healthy. 
 
 3— Olive, lighter shade. 
 
 4— Gipsy Flesh Color. 
 
 5— Othello. 
 
 —Chinese. 
 
 ■Indian. 
 
 I—East Indian. 
 
 j—Jap. 
 
 Done up in sticks 4 inches in length at 25 cents each; 8-inch sticks, 60 cents. Lining 
 Colors, 4 inches long, at 10 cents each, except Carmine which is 16 cents. 
 
 A box of Cream Stioks, containing the following colors ; Two shades of Flesh, one 
 Black, me Brown, one Lake, one Crimson, one White, one Carmine, and a oolor far 
 Shading Wrinkles, *1.00. 
 
JLmEB’ Plays— G antinnEfl. 
 
 NO. 
 
 M P 
 
 FARCES & COMEDIETTA S. 
 
 129 Aar-u-ag-oos. 2 1 
 
 132 Actor and Servant... 1 1 
 
 12 A Capita Match. 3 2 
 
 166 ATexan Mother-in-Law. 4 6 
 
 30 A Day Well Spent. 7 5 
 
 169 A Regular Fix. 2 4 
 
 80 Alarmingly Suspicious. 4 3 
 
 78 An Awfi.l Criminal. 3 3 
 
 65 An Unwelcome Return. 3 1 
 
 31 A Pet of the Public. 4 2 
 
 21 A Romantic Attachment. 3 3 
 
 123 A Thrilling Item. 3 1 
 
 20 A Ticket of Leave. 3 2 
 
 175 Betsey Baker. 2 2 
 
 8 Better Half. 5 2 
 
 86 Black vs. White.4 2 
 
 22 Captain Smith.- 3 3 
 
 84 Cheek Will Win.3 0 
 
 225 Cupids Capers. 4 4 
 
 49 Der Two Surprises. 1 1 
 
 72 Deuce is in Him... 5 1 
 
 19 Did . Dream it.. 4 3 
 
 42 Domestic Felicity. 1 1 
 
 188 Dutch Prize Fighter. 3 0 
 
 22^ Dutchy vs. Nigger....-.3 0 
 
 14s Eh? What Did You Say. 3 1 
 
 218 Everybody Astonished. 4 0 
 
 224 Fooling with the Wrong Man 2 1 
 
 233 Freezing a Mother-in-Law... 2 1 
 
 154 Fun in a Post Office. 4 2 
 
 184 Family Discipline. 0 1 
 
 274 Family Jars. 5 2 
 
 209 Goose with the Golden Eggs.. 5 3 
 
 13 Give Me My Wife.*. 3 3 
 
 66 Hans, the Dutch J. P. 3 1 
 
 271 Hans Brummel’s Cafe.5 0 
 
 116 Hash. 4 2 
 
 120 H. M. S. Plum. 1 1 
 
 103 How Sister Paxey got her 
 
 Child Baptized. 2 1 
 
 50 How She has Own Way. 1 3 
 
 140 How He Popped the Quest’n. 1 1 
 
 74 How to Tame M-in-Law. 4 2 
 
 35 How Stout Your Getting. 5 2 
 
 47 In the Wrong Box.3 0 
 
 95 _*n the Wrong Clothes.. 5 3 
 
 11 John Smith. 5 3 
 
 99 Jumbo Jum. -4 3 
 
 82 Killing Time. 1 1 
 
 182 kittie’s Wedding Cake. 1 3 
 
 127 Lick Skillet Wedding. 2 2 
 
 228 Lauderbach’s Little Surprise 3 0 
 
 106 Lodgings for Two.~ 3 0 
 
 139 Matrimonial Bliss. 1 1 
 
 231 Match for a other-Min-Law.. 2 2 
 
 235 More Blunders than one. 4 3 
 
 69 Mother’s Fool.6 1 
 
 158 Mr.Hudson’s Tiger Hunt...™ 1 1 
 
 23 My Heart’s in Highlands. 4 3 
 
 208 My Precious Betsey. 4 4 
 
 .12 My Turn Next. 4 3 
 
 ^32 My Wife’s Relations. 4 4 
 
 NO. 
 
 186 My Day and Now-a-Days. 0 
 
 273 My Neighbor’s Wife....,../.... 3 
 
 44 Obedience. 1 
 
 244 Old Clothes. 3 
 
 33 On the Sly.™.3 
 
 246 Othello..>...,. 4 
 
 57 Paddy Miles’ Boy.5 
 
 217 Paten" Washing Machine.4 
 
 165 Persecuted Dutchman.6 
 
 195 Poor Pilicody. 2 
 
 258 Prof.Bones’Latest Invention 5 
 
 159 Quiet Family. 4 
 
 171 Rough Diamond.4 
 
 180 Ripples.... 
 
 267 Room 44. 2 
 
 48 Schnaps. 1 
 
 138 Sewing Circle of Period.™ 0 
 
 115 S. H. A. M. Pinafore. 3 
 
 55 Somebody’s Nobody. 3 
 
 243 Sports on a Lark.!. 3 
 
 232 Stage Struck Yankee.. 4 
 
 238 Strawberry Shortcake....,. 2 
 
 270 Slick and Skinner.„ 5 
 
 1 Slasher and Crasher. 5 
 
 137 Taking the Census. 1 
 
 40 Th it Mysterious B’dle. 2 
 
 245 Ticket Taker. 3 
 
 38 -The Bewitched Closet. 5 
 
 131 The Cigarette. 4 
 
 101 The Coming Man.3 
 
 167 Turn Him Out...„. 3 
 
 68 The Sham Professor.4 
 
 54 The Two T. J’s.4 
 
 253 The Best Cure. 4 
 
 28 Thirty-three Next Birthday.. 4 
 
 142 Tit for Tat. 2 
 
 276 The Printer and His Devils.. 3 
 
 263 Trials of a Country Editor.... 6 
 
 7 The Wonderful Telephone.... 3 
 
 269 Unjust Justice. 6 
 
 213 Vermont Wool Dealer...™.5 
 
 151 Wanted a Husband. 2 
 
 56 Wooing Under Difficulties™... 5 
 
 70 Which will he Marry..™. 2 
 
 135 Widower’s Trials.4 
 
 147 Waking Him Up.1 
 
 155 Why they Joined the Re¬ 
 beccas.0 
 
 111 Yankee Duelist. 3 
 
 157 Yankee Peddler. 7 
 
 ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 
 
 204 Academy of Stars. 6 
 
 15 An Unhappy Pair. . .1 
 
 172 Black Shoemaker.4 
 
 98 Black Statue. 4 
 
 222 Colored Senators. 3 
 
 214 Chops. 3 
 
 145 Cuff’s Luck. 2 
 
 190 Crimps Trip.5 
 
 249 Double Election. 9 
 
 27 Fetter Lane to Gravesend.2 
 
 230 Hamlet the Dainty. 6 
 
 153 Haunted House.-.2 
 
 F 
 
 1 
 
 3 
 
 2 
 
 0 
 
 2 
 
 1 
 
 2 
 
 1 
 
 3 
 
 3 
 
 0 
 
 .4 
 
 3 
 
 0 
 
 0 
 
 1 
 
 5 
 
 3 
 
 2 
 
 0 
 
 2 
 
 0 
 
 0 
 
 2 
 
 1 
 
 2 
 
 0 
 
 2 
 
 2 
 
 1 
 
 2 
 
 0 
 
 2 
 
 1 
 
 2 
 
 1 
 
 1 
 
 2 
 
 1 
 
 2 
 
 3 
 
 1 
 
 3 
 8 
 5 
 2 
 
 4 
 1 
 
 3 
 
 0 
 
 1 
 
 2 
 
 2 
 
 0 
 
 0 
 
 1 
 
 0 
 
 1 
 
 0 
 
 1 
 
 0 
 
/ 
 
 w E~ ^ 
 
 iimes’ Plays— CnntimiEd. 
 
 NO. M. F, 
 
 ETHIOPIAN FARCES—CONT’UED. 
 
 24 
 230 
 247 
 
 77 
 
 88 
 
 250 
 
 128 
 
 259 
 
 90 
 
 '01 
 
 234 
 
 150 
 
 109 
 
 134 
 
 177 
 
 90 
 
 107 
 
 133 
 
 179 
 
 94 
 
 25 
 92 
 
 241 
 
 10 
 
 04 
 
 252 
 
 122 
 
 Handy Andy...... 
 
 Hypochondriac The . 
 
 Incompatibility of Temper... 
 
 Joe’s Vis t. 
 
 Mischievous Nigger. 
 
 Midnight Colic. 
 
 Musical Darkey. 
 
 Nobody’s Moke. 
 
 No Cure No Pay... 
 
 Not as Deaf as He Seems. 
 
 Old Dad’s Cabin. 
 
 OldPompey. 
 
 Other People’s Children. 
 
 Pomp’s Pranks. 
 
 S uarrebome Servants. 
 
 ooms to Let. 
 
 School. 
 
 Seeing Bosting. 
 
 Sham Doctor... 
 
 16,000 Years Ago. 
 
 Sport with a Sportsman. 
 
 Stage Struck Darkey. 
 
 Struck by Lightning. 
 
 Stocks Up, Stocks Down. 
 
 That Boy Sam.„ 
 
 That Awful Carpet Bag. 
 
 The Select School. 
 
 2 0 
 2 0 
 
 2 0 
 5 2 
 
 2 1 
 1 1 
 
 3 2 
 2 0 
 3 0 
 2 1 
 5 0 
 3 0 
 
 3 0 
 2 0 
 2 1 
 
 NO. 
 
 118 
 
 6 
 
 108 
 
 4 
 
 197 
 
 198 
 170 
 210 
 206 
 210 
 203 
 205 
 156 
 
 17 
 
 130 
 
 M. F. 
 
 The Popcorn Man. 3 
 
 The Studio.3 
 
 Those Awful Boys. 5 
 
 Twain’s Dodging.3 
 
 Tricks..... 5 
 
 Uncle Jeff.5 
 
 U. S. Mail. 2 
 
 Vice Versa. 3 
 
 Villkens and Dinah.4 
 
 Virginia Mummy. 6 
 
 Who Stole the Chickens. 1 
 
 William Tell. 4 
 
 Wig-Maker and His Servants 3 
 
 GUIDE BOOKS. 
 
 Hints on Elocution. 
 Hints to Amateurs.. 
 
 CANTATA. 
 
 215 On to Victory. . . 4 6 
 
 TABLEAUX. 
 
 250 Festival of Days ..’. 
 
 PANTOMIME. 
 
 260 Cousin John’s Album. 
 
 MAKE YOUR OWN WIGS! 
 
 --- 
 
 PREPARED WOOL. 
 
 PEEP ABED WOOL IS AN ABTICLE THAT EVE BY ONE, 
 WITHOUT ANY EXPEBIENC E, CAN 
 MAKE INTO 
 
 WIGS! 
 
 BEARDS! 
 
 MUSTACHES ! 
 
 ETC., ETC. 
 
 AT VEBY LITTLE COST AND WILL BE SUBE TO GIVE 
 
 SATISFACTION. 
 
 PRICE 50 CENTS PER OUNCE. 
 
 Address, 
 
 AMES’ PUBLISHING CO., 
 
 LOCK BOX 152. CLYDE, OHIO 
 
 3-1. 
 
 
* 
 
 * ■ 
 
 I 
 
 t 
 
 * 
 
 1